# Do women need female friends?



## sculley (Jun 6, 2012)

I have been wondering this lately. I try to confide all my problems and thoughts etc to my husband he is my other half and I always thought this is how it was supposed to be. But I am wondering if women are supposed to have friends especially female to give them that nurturing and comfort when they discuss things. I don't get it in my husband and I don't think men can be a confidant....anyone have any views and thoughts on this?


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

My husband is my best friend. I only confide everything with him. 

I full heartily tell my husband anything and everything. He gets the brunt of my chatter, but he loves it. I'm his best friend too. He tells me everything in return. I do think this makes our relationship stronger. 

Our communication with each other is fabulous. It couldn't be any better. I wouldn't want it any other way. My husband is very reserved towards others, but when he comes home, he has a lot to say as well.

This works well with both of us.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Of course you need female friends. I don't care if your husband is the most perfect person in the world, no one person can fill all your needs. It's not a zero sum game, anyway -- the fact of having friends to talk to does not diminish your marital relationship, anyway. It enhances it.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

I do think every relationship is unique. I have a couple friends(one I met online 10 years ago and two from HS that I keep in contact), but we are not close like my husband and I are. I do not spend personal time alone with anyone, but my family.

I am not able to leave the house often since I'm housebound with a neck injury. I don't mind. I'm very content and happy the way it is.

This is our own personal decision. My husband and I chose to live like this.


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## Drover (Jun 11, 2012)

I think most women need female friends. And I think most husbands need their wives to have female friends. If she doesn't have female friends, she treats her husband like a female friend and I don't see how that helps the relationship.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

I also think men need male friends, btw. And this applies to both heterosexual and homosexual relationships -- no one can fulfill all their partners' needs, and it's not fair to put that kind of pressure on one person.


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## Drover (Jun 11, 2012)

lamaga said:


> I also think men need male friends, btw. And this applies to both heterosexual and homosexual relationships -- no one can fulfill all their partners' needs, and it's not fair to put that kind of pressure on one person.


This is a common trait of "nice guy syndrome".


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

I think we all need friends. Or at least one main friend we can turn to in a time of need etc. When I was younger I had many friends. Many friends who were not real friends. Now that I'm older, I have a few that I can turn to, share laughs with etc, who are real true friends. I also don't do drama friends. I dropped those a few yrs back.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

sculley said:


> I have been wondering this lately. I try to confide all my problems and thoughts etc to my husband he is my other half and I always thought this is how it was supposed to be. But I am wondering if women are supposed to have friends especially female to give them that nurturing and comfort when they discuss things. I don't get it in my husband and I don't think men can be a confidant....anyone have any views and thoughts on this?


I like having female friends, but tend to get the nurturing and comfort I need from my partner. It's true that women are more likely to understand 'women issues' better than a man, but I've only ever had a few female friends that I would trust with my innermost thoughts - simply because many women, IME, tend not to keep 'secrets' very well.


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## sculley (Jun 6, 2012)

Drover said:


> I think most women need female friends. And I think most husbands need their wives to have female friends. If she doesn't have female friends, she treats her husband like a female friend and I don't see how that helps the relationship.


See that's where my mind has been headed lately. It is too much pressure to expect my husband to be everything and I NEVER said he was perfect (lamaga not even close) we are exact opposites..His strong suit is not communicating or even talking alot and unfortunately that's all I seem to do well or crave.


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

Of course we need girl friends.
I love my girly get togethers.
It's important to have good friends in life. I have 3 close friends. We have been together for nearly 20 years now, been through thick and thin together. We don't live in each others pockets, when the kiddies were little we used to spend a lot of time together, now it's usually about once a month. We have a couple of bottles of wine, put the world to wright and have a giggle.

I would never have got through my Hs A if I hadn't have had them to lean on. And none of them judged him and all have welcomed him back with open arms. True friends!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sculley (Jun 6, 2012)

lamaga said:


> I also think men need male friends, btw. And this applies to both heterosexual and homosexual relationships -- no one can fulfill all their partners' needs, and it's not fair to put that kind of pressure on one person.


What do you mean by homosexual relationships? (you mean friends with homosexuals in a platonic relationship)

my opinion I don't think I should be trying to satisfy my "needs" with other people isn't that kind of where an EA or PA begins?


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I need my girlfriends! 

There are some things that men just don't give a shet about. But my friends do.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

sculley said:


> What do you mean by homosexual relationships? (you mean friends with homosexuals in a platonic relationship)
> 
> my opinion I don't think I should be trying to satisfy my "needs" with other people isn't that kind of where an EA or PA begins?


Really? You can't have female friends in fear of an EA/PA?

Do you have sisters? Is that an EA? I love my sisters and my friends, but it's nothing CLOSE to an EA/PA.


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## sculley (Jun 6, 2012)

I wasn't saying it in reference to having female friends it was directed to a different comment made on here about the homosexual relationships.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Yes, I think you did.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Oops, hit return too soon. Sculley, the only reason I mentioned homosexual relationships was to get the discussion out of the realm of gender differences (i.e., women=communicative, men=not) -- all people need friends outside of their primary partner IMO.


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## Acorn (Dec 16, 2010)

I think the only time friends are a bad thing is when a spouse starts to over prioritize friends vs. their spouse.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Acorn said:


> I think the only time friends are a bad thing is when a spouse starts to over prioritize friends vs. their spouse.


True, Acorn, but that's an entirely different issue.


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## sculley (Jun 6, 2012)

Actually Acorn has a point. You can have friends that's acceptable but some people do not know how to draw the line and what I mean is what might be once a month outing turns into an entire football season etc and so on. 
I want to make it clear I put this up on the board to gather opinions and thoughts because I have always been taught that your spouse is supposed to be your everything. So it is kind of a hard concept to fullfill my needs with other people. So be nice please lol


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## sculley (Jun 6, 2012)

lamaga said:


> Oops, hit return too soon. Sculley, the only reason I mentioned homosexual relationships was to get the discussion out of the realm of gender differences (i.e., women=communicative, men=not) -- all people need friends outside of their primary partner IMO.


I can understand that, I didn't mean to generalize that men can't be good talkers. I do know a couple. I guess I meant my husband lol


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

am I not being nice? 

I think that whole concept that your spouse is supposed to be your "everything" is responsible for a lot of marital misery. I know that's a whole trope, but it's just not accurate outside of Hallmark cards.

And now I will leave the field, as I don't wish to dominate your thread. Best wishes.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

If my needs have to be met with another man, that, imo, is wrong.

If my need to be stupid and trivial and ridiculous is met by other women, then awesome!

But they don't take precedence over my man. My really good female friends have solid marriages and respect mine as well.


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## Mrs.K (Apr 12, 2012)

Ummm... neither of us have any friends really :/ We don't have time to make plans much anyway and when we do we'd rather go out alone.

I do however have close relationships with both of my SIL's. They are as close to "girl friends" that I have. Truthfully I suck at friendships, as soon as someone wants to start hanging out ALL the time I bail.


I DO think it is important to have an outlet other than your spouse though!


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## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> My husband is my best friend. I only confide everything with him.
> 
> I full heartily tell my husband anything and everything. He gets the brunt of my chatter, but he loves it. I'm his best friend too. He tells me everything in return. I do think this makes our relationship stronger.
> 
> ...


this is how i am with wife i like her telling me everything


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## sculley (Jun 6, 2012)

Mrs.K said:


> Ummm... neither of us have any friends really :/ We don't have time to make plans much anyway and when we do we'd rather go out alone.
> 
> I do however have close relationships with both of my SIL's. They are as close to "girl friends" that I have. Truthfully I suck at friendships, as soon as someone wants to start hanging out ALL the time I bail.
> 
> ...


That is completely me!! and I rather have an outlet of watching movies, working out or gardening..


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## sculley (Jun 6, 2012)

I appreciate everyones thoughts and experience.


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