# STD's/HIV questions



## K.K. (Oct 25, 2011)

I have asked several questions on here and gotten good advice. I have mentioned this before but am wondering if anyone has good advice. I know the first thing everyone is going to say is "see the doctor", but just wondering.....

My husband had oral sex with a stranger (woman) 2 times, 2 days in a row. He wore a condom, she didn't. They both did it to the other one. So basically, she was protected from him, buy he wasn't protected as he performed oral sex on her. I know there are chances of STD's. I am wondering about HIV? And if he shows no signs of any STD's can I get them from him? What is the chance of HIV being passed this way. So basically he would have to contact it from her and he would be passing it on to me. Any opinions?


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## InFlux (Oct 30, 2011)

Obviously he should get checked and then you'll know for sure. However, for most STDs (and HIV in particular) there is a latency period that unfortunately you need to wait thru before any testing is effective. Probably should practice safe sex for 6 months or so and then get tested. Having said all that, the likelihood of HIV or other STDs getting transmitted from female to male tends to be much less than the other way around so it's probably OK...M-F oral sex tends to be considered a "low-risk" activity but note that "low-risk" isn't "no risk". You can checkout the following for more info:

http://www.avert.org/oral-sex.htm


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I'd worry more about herpes than HIV.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

it would be extremely rare to get HIV by performing cunnilingus, however, getting other std's in his throat would be easy like Chaimydia, also getting herpes is easy as well.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

A cheating husband saying he wore condom for oral sex? Yeah right. The only reason that a man would wear a condom is to engage in sexual intercourse period. Your husband fvcked another woman.


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

To truly protect yourself, (1) don’t believe your husband’s account of what happened, (2) get yourself checked out on that basis, (3) go with him when he gets himself checked out and (4) protect yourself against any latent infections.


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## rrrbbbttt (Apr 6, 2011)

If he broke his marriage vows he also can easily lie. You need to get tested if he was intimate with you and he needs to get tested.

Protect yourself.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

morituri said:


> A cheating husband saying he wore condom for oral sex? Yeah right. The only reason that a man would wear a condom is to engage in sexual intercourse period. Your husband fvcked another woman.


:iagree:

What is it that everyone always says on here? That cheaters give abreviated versions of what happened. AKA trickle truth.

How did you catch him? Did he just come out and admit it out of the blue, or did you suspect, and catch him out?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

the truth may never be known, but it is best to assume the worst and act accordingly when it comes to your health


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## K.K. (Oct 25, 2011)

CandieGirl said:


> :iagree:
> 
> What is it that everyone always says on here? That cheaters give abreviated versions of what happened. AKA trickle truth.
> 
> How did you catch him? Did he just come out and admit it out of the blue, or did you suspect, and catch him out?


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

that_girl said:


> I'd worry more about herpes than HIV.


And HPV. The rate of this disease is alarming.


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## K.K. (Oct 25, 2011)

Actually, my college-aged son suspected something was up because my husband was constantly texting ( he never uses his phone). I confronted him and he admitted it to me. We are actually doing alot better. Our marriage is better than it's ever been. There are still so many things that I'm trying to work through, this being one of them. I guess I'm not being sensible, but do I need to know everything? How will it help me? I already have so many triggers that I can't hardly function. I keep asking myself, "what's the point of know every single detail?". It just hurts that much more. I will always question what would have happened if I hadn't confronted him? But, I did and we are working through it. I can't go back and change it. If I could, I probably let it play out a little longer for own peace of mind. 
I'm just trying to figure out the whole STD and HIV thing now.


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## K.K. (Oct 25, 2011)

Cherry said:


> And HPV. The rate of this disease is alarming.


Can I get herpes if he has no symptoms? He has literally had no symptoms of anything. Can I still get STD's if he has shown no symptoms?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

yes, many std's have incubation periods that are very long (ie. syphillis, even hpv), some are non-symptomatic but people can be carriers (herpes)


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## always_hopefull (Aug 11, 2011)

Cherry said:


> And HPV. The rate of this disease is alarming.


There is an alarming increase in cancers associated with the HPV virus, it is not just a concern for women and cervical cancer, but is becoming associated with oral cancer in both genders.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Cherry said:


> And HPV. The rate of this disease is alarming.


It's a virus. It comes and goes. I had it years ago...never came back. Oh well. lol. 

But if she has warts, i think the man can get them in his throat! Ewwwww


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

morituri said:


> A cheating husband saying he wore condom for oral sex? Yeah right. The only reason that a man would wear a condom is to engage in sexual intercourse period. Your husband fvcked another woman.


Yeah, I had to laugh at that one....seriously no man wears a condom for oral sex, and frankly it's gotta taste horrible for the woman....just saying


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## Prometheus Pyrphoros (Jun 16, 2011)

Ah, my field. Didn't see this post sooner.

1. The estimate of getting infected with HIV while performing oral sex on a woman is about 1/1000. This means that if a man was to go down on an infected woman he would contract the virus once in a thousand acts.
I can tell you these studies are unreliable and the numbers can be higher. One can't tell what stage the infected person was in regarding the HIV infection and what the count was.
One can not take solace in the fact that the estimated transmission rates are low, because if you are that one then the remaining 999 are worth nothing to you. Might as well have been 95% infection rate.

To maybe lessen your fears, you don't know if the other woman was infected at all. So it it highly unlikely that he would pass it on to you.

There is also a window period before one's cell count goes up to fight the infection before it can be positively detected yet the possibility of transmission is still there. Usually 3-4 up to 6 months after suspected exposure is needed to be positive of the results.

To be absolutely sure, you should wait before you have intercourse with him again so he can be tested.

I am working on the immunodeficiency virus but can also provide more answers on other STDs as well.

The internet is no substitute for professional medical help. Please understand this.

And as a further note, you could use this time to try to resolve other issues, like why was he banging her (face it, he probably has) in the first place?

Best regards


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## BeenThereAndSuffering (Mar 12, 2012)

My H found out after A ended that his AP was HIV+, you have to wait 90 days from the last contact he had with her before you both get tested and if test is negative then you get tested every 3 mos for the 1st year and then once a year for the next 10 years because sometimes the incubation period of HIV can be 10yrs. It has been very scary and my H was oblivious that the other woman even had it and of course this was a piece of information that she never offered, she appeared normal and healthy so you just can't tell, please go to your local health dept and get tested when the 90days have passed..rather safe than sorry....


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

K.K. said:


> I have asked several questions on here and gotten good advice. I have mentioned this before but am wondering if anyone has good advice. I know the first thing everyone is going to say is "see the doctor", but just wondering.....
> 
> My husband had oral sex with a stranger (woman) 2 times, 2 days in a row. He wore a condom, she didn't. They both did it to the other one. So basically, she was protected from him, buy he wasn't protected as he performed oral sex on her. I know there are chances of STD's. I am wondering about HIV? And if he shows no signs of any STD's can I get them from him? What is the chance of HIV being passed this way. So basically he would have to contact it from her and he would be passing it on to me. Any opinions?


Get tested. Now.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

This story was covered in the UK press
Drug resistant gonorrhea on way to U.S.? - LivewellNebraska.com

Cheaters, this is what you risk doing to the spouse you claim to love.


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