# Help Me Please



## Calvin1212 (Jan 29, 2018)

I have been with my beautiful wife for 3 great years. Married for almost 1 in March. In December she started to talk to this guys from her childhood. She left one night said she was going to hang out with him I was like okay that’s fine. And continued to play my game. A couple of days ago I set up a recorder with an old phone. In our new apartment by the way. I left for work at 9:30pm. When I got off in the morning I went to the house she was gone. I went upstairs got the recorder and listened to it it was about 25 minuets long. I hear her turn off the tv and come upstairs. Then I hear the most disturbing sounds that a married man should never hear. I hear her have sex with him. So when she came home at noon I confronted her about going over there. Cause I came home at 2 am and she wasn’t there. Anyways that’s what I confronted her about. She didn’t know about the recorder. Then she left cause we fought and that’s fine. Then time passes by I go to the house she is at and I tell the guy she has been sleeping with did you have sex with her last night he said no but he has f***** her plenty of time before since December. I tell him to go get her to get my stuff from the apartment. She comes with me. I break down and said I caught you having an affair with him. Stuff went down. After all the crying in my part and hers. I wanted to take my life because why live when she is the only one I want to be with. Who makes me happy. I forgave her the day if this. Now she loves both of us and doesn’t want to hurt me or him what do I do? I promised her to take her out more, pay more attention to her, I don’t game anymore. Told her we will go on adventures all the time just please don’t leave me. Okay so I cheated on her when we were dating then we split up for two months and we fell in love all over again. However she said to me today when she left his house again maybe we need a break like last time to help me realize how much I’m attracted to you again. Please help me I can’t lose her she is my everything. Pm me please


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Well you went and done it.

You went ahead and cheated on her when your started dating. If your were not exclusive, or engaged, not good, but not as serious.
You went ahead and married her, now you are in up to your eyeballs.
You went ahead and told her she is forgiven. When you know she has cheated on you with at least two men. And, oh so many times.

Now, you need to watch her for the rest of your' life. She is a serial cheater. It is in her blood, her regime', her routine, her modus' operandi. She loves 
to bed down men.

Give her a year to straighten out her act. I suspect that this year will be a waste of effort. 
But, you are young, Your' time, your' life.

I would leave her in a heartbeat.
That is what she did to you ALL THOSE TIMES with other men.


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

OP, you sound like a doormat. Man, find some self respect in some way or another and toss her ass to the curb.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

First thing to work on is the fact that she is your everything. That is WAY WAY TOO MUCH dependence on a person for your own happiness. It gives her much too much power over you. On top of that unfortunately you picked an ******* to make your everything. 

How old are you? Do you have kids?


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

@*Calvin1212*
First of all, what husband in his right mind would allows his wife to go hang out with another man ... while he stays home and plays video games? Are you ****ing serious? That's just like giving her permission to out and bang the other guy! It’s not only a payback for your own infidelity, it’s a payback for your own overall weakness. You allowing her to go out and hang with the OM was weak, your reaction to what she did was weak, your interactions with her are weak and you are behaving like a doormat. There needs to be consequences for this. Expose what she has done to everyone important in your relationship with her ... and play the recording for her parents! Then kick her to the curb, and make sure everyone knows why.


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## Sipu69 (Oct 3, 2017)

Come on man :/ be brave enough to handle her occurrences. There is a wise say "If you can't change the girl, then change the girl." -_- What is the value of your love when she doesn't value you the least


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

You have barely been married and already she is cheating with another man in you own bed. Why would you want to stay with a woman like that? Is this the sort of mother you want for your children who has no moral values? No intention of being faithful? 

Begging her to stay with you is very weak, as is promising her all sorts of things for her to stay. Where are the consequences for what she has done? You are making it very easy for her to cheat on you and to carry on cheating on you.


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

Calvin1212 said:


> I go to the house she is at and I tell the guy she has been sleeping with did you have sex with her last night he said no but he has f***** her plenty of time before since December.


 The other man (OM) has so little respect for you that on his own offered up that he did not have sex with her just once but that he "f***** her plenty of time". Since you do not know the OM, the OM man's disrespect towards you is a reflection of your wife's disrespect. 



Calvin1212 said:


> Now she loves both of us and doesn’t want to hurt me or him what do I do?


 Even though you are her husband, she just put you and the OM on the same footing as if she was not married to you.



Calvin1212 said:


> she said to me today when she left his house again maybe we need a break like last time to help me realize how much I’m attracted to you again.


 So even after you confronted her, not only is she openly seeing the OM at his house to have sex with him, but now that she sees that you will do nothing about it, she no longer even hides it. Worse yet, she now wants a break from you such that she is now putting the OM on better footing with her than you. 

You are married in name only. You crying and doing the pick me monkey dance has made her lose all respect for you and is not attractive. She cannot be in love with someone that she does not respect. The best way to have a chance at saving this marriage (though I would strongly advise against staying in this marriage) is to be willing to end it. File for divorce and mean it. Let her do the heavy lifting to earn the right for you to consider giving her a second chance but on your terms.


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

@Calvin1212: *This thread would be much better served if you moved it to the Infidelity section of this site. Please ask a mod to move it there.*


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

You cheated on her while dating. Now that you're married, she's cheating on you. And all of this cheating has gone on within a 3-year relationship. You guys didn't even make it out of what should have been the honeymoon period without someone shagging around. 

Honestly, you two should never have gotten married. Neither of you seem to really value faithfulness. There's no trust because neither of you are trustworthy. Neither of you are marriage material. 

OP, if you want to have a faithful marriage, then you are unlikely to have it with your current wife. Get a divorce and get clear of this train wreck. Spend some time doing the hard work to turn yourself into an emotionally healthy partner who is capable of a healthy and faithful relationship. Fix yourself and fix your picker. Then, and only then, you can try again with an emotionally healthy woman who is also capable of being in a healthy relationship.


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

Looks like this OP is never coming back.


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