# Help please



## IdanceNsing (Mar 20, 2013)

Hi.. I'm Nette. I've cheated on my girlfriend for 3 years and this past year i really hurt our relationship and her heart.! I wrote a letter that meant nothing but twice and the 1st time it did.!! I need help because she's leaving me and I can't lose her.! She means the world to me


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

Hello Nette....do your actions show her that you love her and want to be with her?


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## IdanceNsing (Mar 20, 2013)

At least I think they do.. But maybe it's the begging?? Maybe she doesn't want that.! But if I show no remorse it makes it seem as if I don't care,!! I have to find another way before I lose the only person I would ever die for


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## Nsweet (Mar 3, 2012)

You already broke her heart TWICE and apologized each time. What makes you think she's going to trust you again this time? What makes this time any more special than the last? 

Let her go and grow up a little. You can cheat all you like, but sooner or later all these girls you're messing with will leave you for someone a little more committed and you're going to be alone as an adult. Do you want that? Do you want to be the guy no woman will marry because he cheats on every girl with everyone?


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

Give us more information please...


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## IdanceNsing (Mar 20, 2013)

Ok I recently started talking to another girl because she interested me a little.!! Be mindful I was in a fully committed relationship with my girlfriend.! We broke up months later then got back together but in the wrong way I think(in 2012) this past year I kept talking to the same girl after saying I wasn't going to do it anymore but this time it was all games with the girl.! I lied so much to my girlfriend to where it really ended us... She recently found a letter I wrote to the girl and it was sent on her birthday but I meant nothing by the note.. I've hurt her and she wants nothing to do with me so I'm just lost right now


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## portabledorothy (Mar 19, 2013)

Why do you think you deserve your girlfriend? How would you feel if you think she did all of that to you?


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## Nsweet (Mar 3, 2012)

See right there!

You were playing games with both of these women. It had nothing to do with love, because you were going from girl A to Girl B when you "broke up", and back to girl A while keeping your options open. 

You aren't serious about having a relationship with your girlfriend. And I hate to break it to you, but you already had a second chance. You don't deserve anymore with the way you've treated her. 

Learn from this lesson and take some time off to be single while you get your head on straight. That means finding out exactly why you think it's Ok for your to cheat and have a stable girlfriend who is faithful to you.


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## lillie.katie (Mar 19, 2013)

Yeah...She would have to have some really selfesteem issues to come back to you. You may feel like you can't live without her but she can't live with you going behind her back like that.
I am not judging you, I am far from perfect and my marriage was destroyed due to infidelity and it hurt like hell, I thought that the grass was so much greener on the otherside..or that I could have my cake and eat it too..it doesn't work that way. Sorry, its a tough lesson to learn.


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## IdanceNsing (Mar 20, 2013)

And NSweet. It was more than twice. And I know this may sound selfish but I can't and won't let her go.!! She means the world to me and we were made for each other... I know she doesn't trust me and I'm doing everything in my power to build that back.!! No matter how bad the truth is ill tell her.!! I love my girlfriend.!! And btw I'm a girl not a guy


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

When you are with the one you love forever, you have to give her 100%. You have to be honest and true to her. You have to earn her respect and always watch her back. You have to be the MAN in the relationship. This takes time to learn. You have to be her ROCK.

Think about HER feelings and how SHE feels. Try not to make the same mistakes in your next relationship. Good luck to you!

It is good that you are looking for answers on this website. You will get some great advise. Take it and learn from others that have been in your shoes before.


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## IdanceNsing (Mar 20, 2013)

Portabledorothy I love her and despite all of that I'm a great girlfriend.!! I was only talking to the other girl because I just wanted to talk and I knew she'd listen that's all.!!! But once I knew she had feelings I should have stopped but I didn't and I did the same... If she did this to me I would be devastated I would be hurt and I would feel betrayed.!! But I'm praying that she gives me this chance to prove that I'm the girl she wants and needs.! I just want to prove that I've changed


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## IdanceNsing (Mar 20, 2013)

Lillie I understand.!!! But I can't and won't lose her


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## Nsweet (Mar 3, 2012)

That still doesn't excuse what you did to her. You cheated on her, you lied, you were the selfish one. Let her go and let the dust settle between you two. It doesn't matter that you want, you need to let her go for right now and do some diggin yourself to find out exactly why you cheat on her in the first place. Hint: It usually has to do something with the way your parents raised you and the level of affection you received. Any issues growing up with lack of affection, a mentally ill or addicted parent, or the way your parents treated each other usually has a lot to do with the role you're replaying with your relatioships, including the types of women you choose.


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## IdanceNsing (Mar 20, 2013)

NSweet.! You are right, totally right and I can't do anything but respect that; though the truth hurts its real... I can't just let her go she's the best thing that ever happened to me. Yes I had the worst childhood and the affection is sometimes not what I need and want but that's all an excuse and I won't use them as a cruch. I just have to own up to my faults and deal with this.! I just pray we can start fresh with a clean slate because I'm changed and so over the childishness and bull****.!!! I love her and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to fix this


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Sorry...but you don't get to decide if she stays with you. That's her decision. You've betrayed her love and trust many times, by the sounds of it. How much pain and hurt do you want her to endure...because you selfishly want to 'have you cake and eat it too'. That's not love.

If you really want any hope of R...you need to demonstrate NOT convince her of your remorse and willingness to do anything necessary to save your relationship.

I wish you luck...i really do.


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## portabledorothy (Mar 19, 2013)

I'm with waiwera on this one, you can't beg or plead your way out if you truly want to be with this woman. If she takes you back you'll have to show her that you're serious through your committed actions over time. 

Most likely if she's as devastated as you say, she'll need some time and space to think this through. Give her that, she deserves it.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

IdanceNsing said:


> And NSweet. It was more than twice. And I know this may sound selfish but I can't and won't let her go.!! *She means the world to me and we were made for each other...* I know she doesn't trust me and I'm doing everything in my power to build that back.!! No matter how bad the truth is ill tell her.!! I love my girlfriend.!! And btw I'm a girl not a guy


No she doesn't mean the world to you.
No you were not made for each other.

If you care about her at all, move on and grow up before heading into another relationship.


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## LouAnn Poovy (Mar 21, 2013)

IdanceNsing said:


> And NSweet. It was more than twice. And I know this may sound selfish but I can't and won't let her go.!! She means the world to me and we were made for each other... I know she doesn't trust me and I'm doing everything in my power to build that back.!! No matter how bad the truth is ill tell her.!! I love my girlfriend.!! And btw I'm a girl not a guy


*I find nothing at all redeeming in your posts. Your girlfriend (s) deserve better. Maybe you can mature. Maybe not. *

:nono:


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