# Please help!!! Wife is moving out!!



## r.cheese (Jun 3, 2010)

Please help me. I have 2 children and my wife. We have recently entered into a very bad financial abyss and lost our home. We are currently homeless. Our son has Autism which has almost caused us to divorce in the past. I am the only one working right now and I am not making very much money. My wife stays home with the kids because of my son’s disability. She rented a place and suggested that I get my own apartment. We have a wonderful sex life but we cannot seem to get along out of the bedroom. My wife told me that I put us in this situation because I can’t pay the bills. The reason that I am not making descent money at this time is because my paycheck is getting garnished due to doctor bills. She told me that since I cannot take care of this family that she will. I wanted to work together and she wants to get a job and do it herself. She told me that I am no longer her priority, only her kids. We have been married for 6 years and she has worked for about a year total of the 6 years that we have been married. There have been accusations of cheating on both ends. I never cheated on her, I swear. We have been to counseling and that really don't work because we have a bad habit of not following through with things. She tells me that she wants to be married and that she loves me but that she wants to live separately. I don't feel that with the finances the way they are that that is not right. We cannot afford two different homes. WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON!!! I don't think that she is cheating or wants to cheat. Today, I loaded 6 years of our lives onto a truck along with the car and took it to her house. Not mine. To be honest, the only thing I got was a roll top desk, a car that is to be repoed, clothes, blankets and a pillow. She took it all. 
Please tell me what you think is happening. I really need help. I have been suicidal, severely depressed, and anxiety out the butt. I feel that she is running out on me. But why would she suddenly run out on me now? Please Help.
Thank you.


----------



## r.cheese (Jun 3, 2010)

Its 4am here. We have been up talking and she was getting ready to go to bed. I said that I was hungry and I would like to go to the store and get something to eat. She blew up on me and said that "That is not normal" and that all she wants is to be normal. She seems to blame every one of our problems on me smoking or anything that has to do with me. She will take absolutely no responsibility for anything. When we did have money and a nice Cadillac car, she was happy. Now that things have gone down hill, she’s moving out and taking the kids and everything in the house along with the car that is paid off. I still have no place to go. I spent 10 years in the Navy and this is where I am.
I really need some advice.


----------



## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

I'm sorry you are suffering through this. I'm right there with you, so I know how it feels. If you are homeless, where are you living now? If there is no money, how can you have two places? Is there family you can turn to? You and your wife really need to work together. Under the circumstances she needs to get a job and help support the family.


----------



## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

I posted under your wife's thread as well. How about coming up with smaller solutions first. You have X amount of money to spend on cigs these two weeks. Then make them last that long. No more money cause you ran out, use it wisely. 

I don't know how old your son is so I can't really recommend you both working, and I really don't know if I can since your son is autistic. I look at my day with my son ( who is also autistic) and some things would be so strained that it honestly could just make it worse. But if you care to elaborate I might be able to help.


----------



## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Please try to relax. It sounds like your wife still loves you but finds it very difficult to live with you. This is great information if you use it wisely. You can find out what it is that makes you hard to live with and start changing those behaviors, one by one, in the time you spend apart. The fact that she wants to move out seems to suggest she finds it difficult to have control over things when you are around. Are you impulsive or thoughtless (literally, not thinking before you do things, or making messes and walking away from them)? Do you tend to create chaos at home, getting kids off schedule or otherwise interfering with her plans (unintentionally)? There are a lot of possibilities, of course. I'm just "thinking out loud" b/c she sees separation as necessary to taking things into her own hands, and there seems to be the message in what she wrote in her reply that you just can't seem to get your act together. Does that seem like a valid reading of the situation (not saying any or all of it is "true," but rather, she might be thinking or feeling these things)?


----------

