# Falling out of love...



## Rhea

One of my favorite quotes:

"Love is like a violin, the strings are always there, but sometimes the music gets lost."

I've never been a believer of the "I fell or he fell out of love" thing. To me once you love someone you always do, there are different phases and different kinds yes. But you always love them. Honestly I don't buy the I feel out of love thing it's comeplete BS to me. You have to replace an active love w/someone else to get rid of it (my opinions)

I can see if you've had an affair and let someone outside your marriage take your H/W place but not just using it as an excuse to me saying that is a cover up for someone being lazy....

Ranting today sorry. My husband is using this excuse and it's driving me nuts amongst other things.


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## snix11

Rhea,

I got the same thing here. Don't love me any more? I beg your pardon?

I don't remember giving him permission to fall out of love with me. lol...

but seriously, I have fallen into apathy about someone and our relationship before. Is that the same thing as falling out of love?


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## preso

Rhea said:


> One of my favorite quotes:
> 
> "Love is like a violin, the strings are always there, but sometimes the music gets lost."
> 
> I've never been a believer of the "I fell or he fell out of love" thing. To me once you love someone you always do, there are different phases and different kinds yes. But you always love them. Honestly I don't buy the I feel out of love thing it's comeplete BS to me. You have to replace an active love w/someone else to get rid of it (my opinions)
> 
> I can see if you've had an affair and let someone outside your marriage take your H/W place but not just using it as an excuse to me saying that is a cover up for someone being lazy....
> 
> Ranting today sorry. My husband is using this excuse and it's driving me nuts amongst other things.


I have fallen in love in my youth with some very bad characters...
people I can only thank God I never married.

I think you can care about someone or have a sexual attraction to them, but that does not mean love or you are a good partner with them. Many people think love is about lusty feelings and after many years of actually realizing that, I have come to believe it's not good to base LOVE on feelings as feelings can change. You base a partnership on many other things too... not just feelings as love ( feelings) does not conquer all.

I think in a marriage or relationship when someone says that, what they mean is your not a good team
or do not have a good partnership, they just don't know the right words to convery those thoughts.


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## Blanca

Rhea said:


> To me once you love someone you always do, there are different phases and different kinds yes. But you always love them. Honestly I don't buy the I feel out of love thing it's comeplete BS to me. You have to replace an active love w/someone else to get rid of it (my opinions)


ive jsut come to the conclusion that i never really did love my H. i thought i did, i thought i had fallen out of love with him, but now i just think i didnt know what it was. im working on finding out, at this point.


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## dcrim

Blanca, good luck in your journey of discovery.


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## cone

The statement I hear that is complete B.S. is:

"I love you, I'm just not IN love with you."

a copout. cowardly statement.


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## 1nurse

Yeah describes my ex to a tee!!:iagree:


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## Phineas

I think it's most certainly possible to fall out of love. One always has memories of past 'loves', be they good or bad, but a true feeling of 'love' does not necessarily endure.

Take it to the extreme - if someone was severly abused in a relationship with someone they 'loved' are you suggesting that love never goes away? What if, because of their abusive partner, their love turns to horror?


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