# I hate cheaters



## islandboy (Jul 25, 2012)

My wife had an affair actually more than one in a span of a few months. She was seeing multiple men seeking (according to her) attention, a new marriage and someone to take care of her this is in Ontario,Canada. 

She felt neglected in our marriage and I agree we were in a bad place. I find it hard to forget the men who I have contacted. 

Yes, I tracked them down to ask them politely to leave her alone.. some were blatantly rude and even taunting until I told them I knew where they lived and can walk up to their door and tell their wife & kids what they had done. All of them eventually started apologizing, some threatened to sue me lol.

Here is what I found interesting on first contact:

- everyone used the same lines, if it wasn't me it would have been someone else.
- you loaded the gun
- she is a great woman, treat her well
- all are in marriages with kids with ages ranging from 9 months to 15 yrs old.
- all well positioned financially, yes she was looking for a safe way out. As with most marriages money was a key issue for us.
- one guy was so good at manipulation he even got me feeling sorry for him and the state of his marriage, until he got pissed and started telling me how much he enjoyed my wife, providing details etc. He worked from home a couple of days a week and actually was bringing her over to his house.. a real winner.. too cheap to rent a motel.
- another (I really despise this guy) was a business owner, very well spoken.. preached integrity (LOL), honor (LOL), man of his word, but was still trying to bed my wife (he was not successful on the first try, she was not ready, she started realizing these men only wanted sex), he even went so far to try and buy a cell phone for her, all of this after I asked him to stay away.. he is a disgusting piece of sh*t. Unbelievable that there are ppl like that out there. He was even pissed at my wife, whenever he saw her sign on, on the cheating website... imagine the audacity.
- discovered that all these men were scumbags. Despicable lying douche bags, who knew exactly what to say to a lonely, distraught woman.

I really hope their wives find out.. they were on these cheating sites AM, LL, POF, Match.


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## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)

You "hope", why don't you bloody tell them?!

They had an affair with your wife man, stop being so courteous to them.


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## anonymouskitty (Jun 5, 2012)

So you view your wife as completely blameless yes? She's just a lonely and distraught woman who had no other road to take yes?


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## kindi (Apr 28, 2012)

You're placing the blame on the wrong people. It's like burning all the cigarettes or smashing all the whiskey bottles. At best it's a temporary fix.

By confronting these men and asking them to stay away from your wife, you're avoiding the real problem.

Even if they do as you ask, she'll just find some other guy.

SHE is the problem, they are just the symptoms.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

And why haven't you told their wives?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Count of Monte Cristo (Mar 21, 2012)

If none of these idiots raped your wife then you need to save the bulk of your anger for her.

(And for god sake expose these men to their wives. If you don't then you're complicit in their betrayal.)


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## islandboy (Jul 25, 2012)

Why have I not confronted their wives? Believe me I have played the scenario a million times, consequences etc.. is it worth it? To be honest yes it would be.. to have them suffer the pain my wife & I went through.

But it would also mean outing my wife to her family and friends. that is a more difficult path. I do not want to cause her anymore pain. We are still working on our marriage a year later. Everyday I think about these scumbags and the crime they got away with and continue to do.. but I want to vent and and hopefully some day peace will come to me.


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

islandboy said:


> My wife had an affair actually more than one in a span of a few months.


Out the other men to their respective mates. These people have a right to know that their spouses are exposing them to STDs and other dangers.

Also, be wary of thinking your wife was taken advantage of. 

The OW in my STBEH's affair told her spouse that. 

He learned otherwise by hiring a detective. 

Also, I saw the emails, texts and heard voicemails she sent to my STBEH.

She initiated first contact, she pushed for sex. He tried to break it off twice. She continued to bombard him with emails filled with sexy flirtatious language. 

She continually accidentally (oops on purpose) bumped into him in places she new he would be. 

One email mentioned he was a creature of habit and easy to track down during the day. 

It's normal to displace anger onto the other men initially, but eventually, you have to realize that it is your wife who broke your wedding vows, not the OM.


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

islandboy said:


> Why have I not confronted their wives? Believe me I have played the scenario a million times, consequences etc.. is it worth it? To be honest yes it would be.. to have them suffer the pain my wife & I went through.
> 
> But it would also mean outing my wife to her family and friends. that is a more difficult path. I do not want to cause her anymore pain. We are still working on our marriage a year later. Everyday I think about these scumbags and the crime they got away with and continue to do.. but I want to vent and and hopefully some day peace will come to me.



Studies show that their has been an alarming increase in housewives in their thirties with kids cheating on the hardworking spouses. 

The latest studies show that a women in her thirties is just as likely to cheat as a mid-life crisis man. 

Apparently women go through their mid life crisis in their 30s. 

These woman are extremely aggressive about having an affair, too. 

Usually they cheat druing lunch hour while the poor unsuspecting husband is busting his butt at work. 

Yes, those guys were scum, but what about your wife?

IMO, I am angrier at STBEH than OW. I was not married to OW and I would never befriend a lowlife like her. 

I told her poor unsuspecting husband, and now I never think about her. My anger is all directed at STBEH. 

I still think OW was and is a lowlife, if asked about her, but I rarely think about her otherwise.

She got herself in a pickle, too. Her husband who comes from a wealthy family is on to her now and angrier than a wounded grizzly bear.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Exposure is quite likely the number one thing which will help here. Not only does it give truth to the wives of the men she cheated with, it also shows your wife there a major consequences from her choice to cheat- both for her and for her affair partners.

This will have a huge impact on her and hopefully help prevent further cheating.

Knowing that their choices impact their affair partners livesis a major fear of cheaters.

Exposure is something that numerous BS have come back later to TAM to report as being the smartest thing they did. I have also never read any story from a BS who exposed who later came back and said they wished they had help hide the affair. Affairs thrive on secrecy and no consequences. To combat the cheating, exposure and consequences are essential tools. 

Note when I say consequences,I do not me punishment or vindictive actions, but instead logical consequences.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

islandboy said:


> But it would also mean outing my wife to her family and friends. that is a more difficult path.


Unless she faces some consequence's and hardship from all over, she'll have no reason to change her behavior. Given how she went through couple of guys in a short time it is highly likely she WILL do it again. Expose her.


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## CLIFFW (Jul 25, 2012)

kindi said:


> You're placing the blame on the wrong people. It's like burning all the cigarettes or smashing all the whiskey bottles. At best it's a temporary fix.
> 
> By confronting these men and asking them to stay away from your wife, you're avoiding the real problem.
> 
> ...


agreed. why confront the men? Did they hold a gun to your wife's head? You have to confront HER. SHE made the choice. Just having opportunity does not relieve you of responsibility!

Remember, affairs are usually a symptom that something is wildly wrong in the person or the relationship, or both.

if your wife has had MULTIPLE affairs, you have no hope. Just keeping these men away from her actually solves nothing. I can't believe you haven't divorced her, to be honest.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

You don't want to cause your wife any more pain? Seriously?

Get this: Your wife is your Wayward Wife (WW). None of these men raped her. She knowingly and willfully sought out strange men and had sex with them. She lied to you continuously, and hid everything from you. Yet you consider her a victim of these other men. Unfreakingbelievable.

You're in the BS smog islandboy. That means you're in deep denial, mostly about your WW. And your WW plays the victim card very well and you take it without hesitation. 

This is the attitude that leads to False R. She's a serial cheater and you're enabling her attitude. All she has to do is cry a few crocodile tears and you're happy as a clam. Wake up islandboy!


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

islandboy said:


> My wife had an affair actually more than one in a span of a few months. She was seeing multiple men seeking (according to her) attention, a new marriage and someone to take care of her this is in Ontario,Canada.
> 
> She felt neglected in our marriage and I agree we were in a bad place. I find it hard to forget the men who I have contacted.
> 
> ...


You should have exposed the affairs. Forget the excuses. Also you owe this men nothing but grief. You wife owns her affair but these guys are not innocent. When a man has an affair with another man's wife he deserves scroched earth. This said exposures primary prupose is not this. It is about getting the affair out in the daylight to kill it and to help prevent multiple affairs. It is also the right thing to do.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

So... you would rather sweep it under the rug, and hope for the best? Seriously, unless your wife sees the pain she has REALLY caused, she is more likely to do it again...and again.... and again. I am speaking from experience. Mine never went physical, but they were damaging just the same. *I* exposed to *MY OWN* family. I needed to be accountable to someone other than just my husband. The men I spoke with knew what to say to this distraught, lonely woman as well. Yea, exposing to family and friends hurts like hell. But it's worth it if you REALLY want to move forward.

Btw, same thing applied with my husband EA.


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## islandboy (Jul 25, 2012)

So what I am reading from the majority of you are that I need t teach her a lesson by shaming her in front of friends & Family.. seriously? That is going to help my marriage? That is going to help my kids?
I think the majority who wants me to "punish" her for her crime were like me, you were on the receivng end. Unless you know our situation in detail only then you will understand.. however, I am not naive either and have continued to look for the similar telltale signs.. after all once a cheater.. though I do want to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Meanwhile, alot of you seems to absolve the men who were the opportunities.. really? Sorry I cannot, someday their wives will find out. I believe in karma and once you put it out there, it will happen.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Does your wife have mental health or other similar issues?


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## anonymouskitty (Jun 5, 2012)

epic fail

Karma, Karma, Karma. sickening how its thrown out like a tool for justification of doing or not doing something.


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

islandboy said:


> So what I am reading from the majority of you are that I need t teach her a lesson by shaming her in front of friends & Family.. seriously? That is going to help my marriage? That is going to help my kids?
> I think the majority who wants me to "punish" her for her crime were like me, you were on the receivng end. Unless you know our situation in detail only then you will understand.. however, I am not naive either and have continued to look for the similar telltale signs.. after all once a cheater.. though I do want to give her the benefit of the doubt.
> 
> Meanwhile, alot of you seems to absolve the men who were the opportunities.. really? Sorry I cannot, someday their wives will find out. I believe in karma and once you put it out there, it will happen.


NO one is absolving the affair partner. The cheater and the cheatee are both well cheaters. 

Unless your wife is mentally handicapped or was tied down and raped. Your wife was into it. 

Perhaps even the aggressor. 

Perhaps these OMs became testy with you and started giving affair details because they thought your wife like the OW in my STBEH's affair was lying and claiming that the OM chased her. 

That's what the OW in my STBEH's affair did. 

I know it wasn't true.

And, now her husband also knows. 

Outing the affair is to present a consequence. It is not to shame her 

She shamed herself by engaging in an affair with men SHE KNEW WERE MARRIED AND WITH KIDS 

The Other men are equally shameful. So what? You are not married to them.

My STBEH initially protected the OW. Then he found out she was stalking me, spreading gossip some true, much false, and that she told her spouse that my STBEH came onto her and was the initiator in the affair. 

The truth is: The OW was the instigator.


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## kindi (Apr 28, 2012)

anonymouskitty said:


> epic fail
> 
> Karma, Karma, Karma. sickening how its thrown out like a tool for justification of doing or not doing something.


More like it's an excuse to do nothing.

"I will just bury my head in the sand and avoid taking any productive course of action and just wait for Karma to do it's work".


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## sweetpea (Jan 30, 2007)

Please remember to be respectful when replying to OP's thread. Here is a quote from Chris H. to explain further my point.

"What I'm about to describe is one of the most common communication problems I see on this site. It creates a lot of animosity and shuts people down to the message being sent.

I learned this early on from my experience going to AA meetings.

My experience has been, that people will do better getting through to others by talking about their experience in terms of "my experience has been..." or "this is what worked for us...".

Like what CSS just described, if I were to reply to a post and only say, "you need to kick her out (the WS)," it's not going to come across as well as saying, "for us, the only thing that made me change was when my husband kicked me out."

By framing things from our own experience, people will be more open to what we have to say, as opposed to telling them what they need to do as if it will work for everyone in every situation.

No one can tell us that our own experience is wrong. It's the way we perceived a situation in our life, and it is very personal. By sharing that with others, we give them another perspective that can't hurt.

The flip side of that, is coming on TAM and hurling advice like a brick, as if we're know-it-all relationship gurus. There is a fine line between the two, and it can make all the difference in the world when it comes to communication."

Thanks- Jen


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

islandboy said:


> Meanwhile, alot of you seems to absolve the men who were the opportunities.. really? Sorry I cannot, someday their wives will find out. I believe in karma and once you put it out there, it will happen.


Only if someone with knowledge of what they are doing tells their wives. If the BS like you are, chooses to hide and protect the affairs they have, then their wives will never know.

As for punishing you wife - no not at all. She's done me no wrong so I don't care about punishing. However we are giving you hard won lesson from experience on how to use this awful choice she made, to help reduce the chance she will choose to do it again and again.

We are not saying for you to post it on FB, in the church newsletter or to shove it in your kids faces.

We are however saying that you should be telling close friends or family so they can help both of you through the grief you are dealing with, and so that they know if your wife does to them to ask them to provide cover s o she can hook up with more men in the future.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

islandboy said:


> But it would also mean outing my wife to her family and friends. that is a more difficult path. I do not want to cause her anymore pain.


uh, that is a bad case of rug-sweeping you are doing. And what exactly do you mean by causing her more pain?? You were the one that got hurt, she was too busy seeking pleasure to feel any unwanted pain.

Sorry to hear, she is not facing any consequences and will not change because she doesn't have to, she is just going to keep it up for appearances sake before finding a way to cheat again. Very possibly she already is, considering it appears you want to make it as convenient for her as possible. What heavy lifting has she done to restore your trust? Do you have all her passwords? Does she report to you when away from you during the day? Have you taken away her cheating tools (phone, facebook etc?) what have you done other than confronting some d0uchebags your W had sex with to ensure this doesn't happen anymore?


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

islandboy said:


> So what I am reading from the majority of you are that I need t teach her a lesson by shaming her in front of friends & Family.. seriously? That is going to help my marriage? That is going to help my kids?
> I think the majority who wants me to "punish" her for her crime were like me, you were on the receivng end. Unless you know our situation in detail only then you will understand.. however, I am not naive either and have continued to look for the similar telltale signs.. after all once a cheater.. though I do want to give her the benefit of the doubt.
> 
> Meanwhile, alot of you seems to absolve the men who were the opportunities.. really? Sorry I cannot, someday their wives will find out. I believe in karma and once you put it out there, it will happen.


Another newly betrayed in denial. We've seen this many times before islandboy. You'll just have to learn the hard way it seems.


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## kindi (Apr 28, 2012)

It's been my experience that when we do nothing, and wait for someone or something else to fix our problems for us, that we're probably not dealing with the situation in a realistic and effective way.

What worked for me during my divorce, was, rather than being "reactive" and waiting for her to make the next move to which I would respond, I finally took control of the situation and made some hard decisions that were painful in the short term but worked out very well in the long run.

I found from my own personal experience that fear tends to paralyze us and it's much better for us to work against the resistance to accomplish our short and long term goals.

I hope things work out for the Op whatever he may or may not do to help himself out of an admittedly tough spot that none of us want to find ourselves in.


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

islandboy said:


> So what I am reading from the majority of you are that I need t teach her a lesson by shaming her in front of friends & Family.. seriously? That is going to help my marriage? That is going to help my kids?


Exposure is not about humiliation. In most marriage ceremonies, the celebrant calls upon the witnesses as a community to support the marriage. When you approach the people your wife respects the most and you ask them to help your marriage get through this, it is done out of utmost love. (Obviously some people do this for revenge, but they aren't seeking a loving reconciliation.)

I am reconciled and recommitted to my H after his long term affair. I will tell you that exposure is MOST important in the cases where the cheating spouse cares what others think. Many unlucky loyal spouses are married to cheaters who could give a damn. They, of course, often are strong and confident enough to try exposure, but it has no effect on their spouses.

Take a look at Dr Harley's Surviving an Affair if you think this concept is unique to this forum. Here's an essay on the subject, from someone who is a huge advocate of marriage and pioneered reigniting romantic love as a way of strenthening hurting marriages:
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8112_exposed.html
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Seesaw (Jun 5, 2012)

IB. You need to expose. My postings here will show you I am a liberal guy and I do not say this as a revenge tactic. Your wife has precisely no respect for you because you will not stand up for your marriage and you will not show her consequences. She may not even be able to articulate this, but it is true. If that does not change you have no hope of a good marriage.

I am in R. That only started for real when I made it totally clear to everyone involved, not least my fWW, that from this point on anyone who f**ks with my marriage in any way gets destroyed. I did that with no hesitation to one guy who got peripherally involved in a way that was inappropriate. He is now history as far as work, partner and my fWW are concerned. To my surprise, my wife respected that - she won't admit it, but it was a serious turning point for us and for the better. Now my fWW knows that anytime boundaries are crossed she goes and he faces a tidal wave of retribution he will never forget. 

Trust me, I am as far away from abusive as it is possible to be. What I am now is a man. I have dignity, respect, standards, and boundaries.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

> - everyone used the same lines, if it wasn't me it would have been someone else.


I find myself in agreement with these guys on this point. 

So your wife was looking for a new marriage while still married to you? That's nice. And searching for a guy with money... You got a real winner there, for sure.


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## Count of Monte Cristo (Mar 21, 2012)

islandboy said:


> I think the majority who wants me to "punish" her for her crime were like me, you were on the receivng end. Unless you know our situation in detail only then you will understand.. however,* I am not naive either and have continued to look for the similar telltale signs.. after all once a cheater.. though I do want to give her the benefit of the doubt.*


Island Boy, I'm so sorry that you're here. You are getting great advice, even though that advice might seem counter-intuitive and counter-productive.

It's clear that you love your spouse. Most of the betrayed here loved (still love) their wayward spouse but we were willing to set boundaries and ensure that there were consequences for their actions. One of the consequences need to be exposure -- especially if you're trying to reconcile with your wife. (In my case, I only exposed to a few friends and family members because she made it clear that she no longer wanted to be married.)

If you do not expose your wife's affair she will lose ALL respect for you and I guarantee that she'll go back to her cheating ways. You might have learned how to spot the telltale signs of her affairs, but keep in mind that _she also has learned from her mistakes how to cover them up_.

Good luck.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

costa200 said:


> I find myself in agreement with these guys on this point.
> 
> So your wife was looking for a new marriage while still married to you? That's nice. And searching for a guy with money... You got a real winner there, for sure.


She's looking to trade up, and when she finds the OM who will take her, she'll drop her betrayed husband. 
He will get the ILYBINILWY speech
She will ask for separation so she can "work" on herself. In reality she will continue the affair without any hindrance and see if OM will really take her. If she thinks it will work out, then:
He is served with the divorce papers

OR, she gets an STD (we've seen this here)

OR, she gets pregnant with OMs child.


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## snap (Oct 3, 2011)

So let's see:

- your wife is a gold digger (although remarkably unsuccessful one)
- she has zero respect for you
- she's not a quitter

..and you expect her to get into senses because you shield her from any consequences? Okay..


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

I find it sad/ironic that the in the thread title the OP says he "hates cheaters"... never realizing that category also applies to the W he loves.

Island Boy, I think you may have lost sight of who the cheater here actually is - what if these attached men your w cheated with were actually single, they would not be cheating on their spouse at all, but would it make everything better? No it doesn't change a thing, because your W's behavior was the problem.


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## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)

islandboy said:


> So what I am reading from the majority of you are that I need t teach her a lesson by shaming her in front of friends & Family.. seriously? That is going to help my marriage? That is going to help my kids?
> I think the majority who wants me to "punish" her for her crime were like me, you were on the receivng end. Unless you know our situation in detail only then you will understand.. however, I am not naive either and have continued to look for the similar telltale signs.. after all once a cheater.. though I do want to give her the benefit of the doubt.
> 
> Meanwhile, alot of you seems to absolve the men who were the opportunities.. really? Sorry I cannot, someday their wives will find out. I believe in karma and once you put it out there, it will happen.


I'm not talking about your wife's family, I'm talking about the wives of the other men she cheated with. They deserve to know. Don't protect them.


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## kindi (Apr 28, 2012)

Lon said:


> I find it sad/ironic that the in the thread title the OP says he "hates cheaters"... never realizing that category also applies to the W he loves.



I think he meant that he "hates men who have sex with his wife".


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

kindi said:


> I think he meant that he "hates men who have sex with his wife".


I know that's what he meant... the irony was lost on him.


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## kindi (Apr 28, 2012)

It's been my personal experience that denial is one of, if not the strongest defense mechanism exhibited by the human brain.


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

someday, like it or not.... your going to come to realize, your wife was the mastermind of these crimes against you and your family. 

Exposure at this point is of limited external value. These men will blame your wife, and paint that picture for thier wives. Most will jump at the chance to blame your wife. She'll be the "Evil homewrecking gold digger who was trying to seduce my lonely husband".


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

islandboy said:


> So what I am reading from the majority of you are that I need t teach her a lesson by shaming her in front of friends & Family.. seriously? That is going to help my marriage? That is going to help my kids?
> I think the majority who wants me to "punish" her for her crime were like me, you were on the receivng end. Unless you know our situation in detail only then you will understand.. however, I am not naive either and have continued to look for the similar telltale signs.. after all once a cheater.. though I do want to give her the benefit of the doubt.
> 
> Meanwhile, alot of you seems to absolve the men who were the opportunities.. really? Sorry I cannot, someday their wives will find out. I believe in karma and once you put it out there, it will happen.


IB, I have been on both sides of cheating. Granted, some don't view emotional affairs as cheating, but regardless of the viewpoint, it is a betrayal, nonetheless. When my husband and I decided that our marriage was worth saving, we agreed to tell my parents, his mom, my sisters...and I chose to tell a few friends about MY EAs. I made myself accountable to these people... people who love me, and want the best for me. People who want the best for my family. Do I have the choice to go down that road again? Absolutely! My husband does as well. But, knowing the disappointment we would receive from friends and family helps to keep us off that path. 


That said, I can honestly say that if my husband was having an affair with another woman and the spouse found out, I'd want him to tell me. You have mentioned karma. The thing is, what if YOU are the one who should have told? What if your wife was just one in a long line of OW for these men? I get why you may feel it isn't your place to tell the wives, but really, it is. Your wife was involved with them. Your wife DRAGGED you into this situation. 

Look, I can understand not telling the kids. But even one or two family members... mom? sister? cousin? A close family friend? A pastor or someone like that? I get that she has gone thru pain (if truly remorseful), but so have you...so are the wives of the OMs. This is the point we are trying to make to you.

I truly am sorry you find yourself here. I hope things work out for you. I just know from experience that rug sweeping doesn't help. It just makes it easier to figure out a strategy next time, so you won't/are less likely to get caught.


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

Pit-of-my-stomach said:


> someday, like it or not.... your going to come to realize, your wife was the mastermind of these crimes against you and your family.
> 
> Exposure at this point is of limited external value. These men will blame your wife, and paint that picture for thier wives. Most will jump at the chance to blame your wife. She'll be the "Evil homewrecking gold digger who was trying to seduce my lonely husband".


Pit:

That may or may not be true. 

My STBEH defended the OW. He would not throw her under the bus. 

She threw him under the bus. 

The truth only came out because I saw the emails. 

She sent the first email, she sitting at home, bored with nothing else to think about but having sex with strangers, contacted him first and persistently and made a point to haunt every lunch vent or coffee house she knew he went to so she could run into him.


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

Sara8 said:


> Pit:
> 
> That may or may not be true.
> 
> ...


Yeah your right, I should be fair. Shapes and sizes of cheaters do vary. Maybe a few would come clean and not throw this guys W under the bus. 

But, I do have trouble imagining in this scenario that she is not 100% culpable and very much the aggressor. If I recall he mentioned many OM's and many sources she proactively sought out these men.

Either way, she is 1000% accountable for the pain she caused him and they are 1000% responsible for the pain they are causing their spouses. That is assuming of course, they find out.


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

Pit-of-my-stomach said:


> Yeah your right, I should be fair. Shapes and sizes of cheaters do vary. Maybe a few would come clean and not throw this guys W under the bus.
> 
> But, I do have trouble imagining in this scenario that she is not 100% culpable and very much the aggressor. If I recall he mentioned many OM's and many sources she proactively sought out these men.
> 
> Either way, she is 1000% accountable for the pain she caused him and they are 1000% responsible for the pain they are causing their spouses. That is assuming of course, they find out.


I agree.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

It's your wife the one that needs more than a hand to count her OMs.

See the real picture here, friend. Forget about those OMs. They are interchangeable. Focus in your serial cheater of a "wife".


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

islandboy said:


> Meanwhile, alot of you seems to absolve the men who were the opportunities.. really? Sorry I cannot, someday their wives will find out. I believe in karma and once you put it out there, it will happen.


Nope. They are scumbags. But they didn't take a vow to honor you. Your wife did. His is what most people are mindful of.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

"I hate cheaters" is not an acceptable title, or topic for the forum.

There are the betrayed, and betrayors on this site.

Everyone is trying to process their hurt, pain, or hope ... if they are trying to reconcile.

Lets leave hate out of the conversation.


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