# Thinking of a divorce...



## Kkay (Dec 22, 2011)

This may be foolish but I am. I have no reason other then a ex came back after being apart for 4 years and away for 3 of those years. We split when we were in high school but during this time apart we both never got over each other and now that he is back I am considering getting a divorce. My husband (of a year and a half) is a great man, works, provides, and loves me, but I am afraid that I really never loved only accepted him. I am however thinking of leaving to try to fix things with the ex. I am not sure what to do. My heart is split in two... Give up the life I worked so hard to make? or Go with the one that I lost and never got over to try to repair things.


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## calif_hope (Feb 25, 2011)

Boy, I take it that you are younger than 23, your post seems like your still in high school talking about breaking up with your current boy friend to go back to your old boyfriend.

You made the adult decision to marry, you need to act like an adult. I hope you have not betrayed your husband with your old boy friend, any man who cheats with you will cheat on you.

Does the OM want a relationship you, for you to leave you husband so he can commit to a life with you or does he want to take advantage of you, get sex from you, and run when things get serious.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

There is a reason you are not with your ex... why was it the wrong relationship a few years ago but now you think it might be the right one? 

You husband is the one who cared enough to stand with you, marry you and care for you. Do you know how hard it is to find a good man? By your own words you are married to one. You have on idea if your ex is a good man... but if he is trying to get you to break up with your husband to try to make something work with him, he is not a good man.. he's a user. Anyone who interferrs with a marriage that is not a good person.


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## calif_hope (Feb 25, 2011)

Remember their is always a point of no return, if you cross the line with your ex or jump put of the marriage to explore a relationship with the ex.......you may desire to get your life back with your husband but you will most certainly find that life not available to you. Think clearly, think about all the impact this may have on your life. You may find yourself a divorced woman, no longer in a relationship with the man you left your husband for longing for the love and security your ex-husband provided....
_Posted via Mobile Device_

For everyone's sake ...... Use birth control with your husband, if you decide to cheat, and if you decide to leave your husband for your ex. You are years away from being ready to be a mother.


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## lyngreen504 (Jun 7, 2011)

My advice... don't leave your husband.... it might not seem like it, but it's as clear as BLACK and WHITE... it's no, it's a red flag, he needs to get out of your life and leave your husband and you alone. it's not just you, to almost EVERYONE, there is that one special person in high school that could have been the one, but wasn't... but most people do grow up and get married. making a life with someone is different than those butterflies you get in high school. what's wrong with you, you cross that line and it's over! but if you really want to, you will probably find out that the grass is NOT greener on the other side and you will make a decision that cannot take back. if you leave, that's good too, so that your husband can find a future wife that actually cares about him. so if it works out with your ex, cool, but hopefully your husband finds his true love as well.


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## WonderingAway (Dec 20, 2011)

lyngreen504 said:


> My advice... don't leave your husband.... it might not seem like it, but it's as clear as BLACK and WHITE... it's no, it's a red flag, he needs to get out of your life and leave your husband and you alone. it's not just you, to almost EVERYONE, there is that one special person in high school that could have been the one, but wasn't... but most people do grow up and get married. making a life with someone is different than those butterflies you get in high school. what's wrong with you, you cross that line and it's over! but if you really want to, you will probably find out that the grass is NOT greener on the other side and you will make a decision that cannot take back. if you leave, that's good too, so that your husband can find a future wife that actually cares about him. so if it works out with your ex, cool, but hopefully your husband finds his true love as well.


:iagree:


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## Kkay (Dec 22, 2011)

I suppose your all right. I am wanting something that was. Yes I am also under 23 and this is the first time I have had to deal with something like this. I know what the right decision is, but that doesn't make it always the easiest. I have also never betrayed my husband, Thanks for all the advice.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

do yourself a favor and go completely no contact with this ex

delete him off of facebook, block his number, etc


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## calif_hope (Feb 25, 2011)

Kkay, sorry to tell you, you are betraying your husband, an Emotional Affair (EA) can be as distructive and painful as an physical affair. Cosidering your mindset, there are 3 people in you marriage and your husband doesn't know it, everytime you talk to the OM, text him, e-mail him, Facebook him, your are betraying your husband, risking the loss of a proven good man.
_Posted via Mobile Device_

You need to cut off all contact with the OM before you get into it deeper or your husband figures it out. Believe you me, he has noticed something - probely has not connected to something yet, but he has noticed your change.


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