# Anyone ever get "angry sex"?



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

I can honestly say it was the first time tonight that I got angry sex from my wife. I was in the mood tonight and we were cuddling in bed. I was caressing her in a way that she knew I was in the mood, but I wasn't groping her. We had sex yesterday and she wanted to wait until this Friday evening when I came back from traveling from an overnight trip. Honestly, I was hoping to have sex tonight, so while we were laying in bed I was caressing her with the purpose of trying to get her in the mood. No begging, asking or groping on my part. Well, she gets up abruptly, gets some lubricant and then she starts making out with me. But she's being pretty rough. At first I thought "YEAH!, she's really excited!". Shortly after that, I sense that it doesn't seem right. Hell she's pushing into me hard numerous times as if she wanted me to go faster and harder. After we're done, find out she was angry with me for being in the mood and caressing her. 

I'm a little confused, hurt and miffed all at the same time. I don't want to come across as being pouty nor brow beating her for sex. So I thought the caressing and cuddling in bed would be acceptable to her since I wanted to show that I'm interested and ready to go if she changes her mind, but at the same time I was going to let it go if it didn't. Honestly, I did NOT expect her to just give it up in such an angry fashion like that! 

Maybe it's just the unexpected nature of how everything came about, but I'm feeling like throwing my hands up and saying "fvck it, I'm not going to touch you for awhile". I can't remember the last time I ever felt like sh!t after having sex with my wife. Tonight, that's exactly how I feel.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

Maybe it was completely unrelated to you.

Maybe she had a bad day and she was frustrated and angry and/or she had a run in with someone during the day and just wanted to get a release. 

If I was you I'd just try to roll with it. She wants it hard and fast and rough well you damn well give it to her! I would have ended it with a messy facial but hey that's just me.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Angry sex? Hmm. Sounds like it might be fun.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

When Caramel is upset I purposefully have her wrestle with me, punch me, whatever. I keep trying to kiss her and she keeps trying to prevent me. She get's turned on long before she gets tired of the wrestling and the sex that ensues helps her get over whatever she was angry about.

This works for us, it may not work for anyone else.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Did she O?


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## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

Just roll with it. That kind of sex can be fun and a great tension reliever.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

Thound said:


> Did she O?


I believe the proper adjective would be thunderous. :smthumbup:


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## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

Of course it IS very possible that yes she was annoyed with you....because clearly you wanted sex, she didn't and she resented you because she felt that you were putting her in a corner where she felt she had to oblige you.

This is what I think it was.


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## ClimbingTheWalls (Feb 16, 2013)

Angry sex is way better than dead fish sex. At least there is emotion there.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

askari said:


> Of course it IS very possible that yes she was annoyed with you....because clearly you wanted sex, she didn't and she resented you because she felt that you were putting her in a corner where she felt she had to oblige you.
> 
> This is what I think it was.


:iagree: 

Was she giving you any indication that she wasn't in the mood? If so...and she knew you really wanted it, maybe she felt like she HAD to do it...like duty sex, and was frustrated about it afterward. Just guessing.

It is hard sometimes to read women. Sometimes my wife is clearly not in the mood for PIV, and will offer a HJ or BJ instead. Other times, she will get in the mood only after we get things started. Since I am the one who initiates 98% of the time, I have to "read" her emotions and state of mind. I also do whatever I can to reduce her stress levels on a daily basis. I am a BIG believer in lots of foreplay.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Askari and INTD, I agree with both of you. That's how I interpreted it. I was hoping she would get into the mood and not provide duty sex.


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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

Yeah, my wife would be angry also if I pestered her for sex the day after. Especially if the plan was to have sex in a few days already. 

Is sex two days in a row normal for you two?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

askari said:


> Of course it IS very possible that yes she was annoyed with you....because clearly you wanted sex, she didn't and she resented you because she felt that you were putting her in a corner where she felt she had to oblige you.
> 
> This is what I think it was.


Me, too. 

That sex is the WORST because you can't connect. It's more of obligation sex.


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## convert (Oct 4, 2013)

well you could of said to her "you make love so much better then your sister" and then hang on.

No don't say that i was just kidding. she might punch you in the throat that really hurts more then you think.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

convert said:


> well you could of said to her "you make love so much better then your sister" and then hang on.
> 
> No don't say that i was just kidding. she might punch you in the throat that really hurts more then you think.


And then try to hang on for six seconds... if you do you win the rodeo.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

This is the kind of thing you could only find out more info on from her. We wouldn't know.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Came home from traveling today. After how Wednesday went regarding sex (hence my OP), I decided that I wasn't going to initiate at all tonight. I wasn't going to open myself up to that again.


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## Inside_Looking_Out (Apr 8, 2012)

Plan 9 from OS;6971938 We had sex yesterday and she wanted to wait until this Friday evening when I came back from traveling from an overnight trip.[/QUOTE said:


> I don't understand it, but my sister thinks this way. If she had stated, in advance, that she would like to have sex on a certain day, and then again on another certain day...and her husband went ahead and tried, even though she already stated that she wanted to wait, she would be livid. In her mind, that is like her not being able to say what she does and does not do with her own body. It makes her feel pressured and 'put upon'. She would be really angry over her request to not have sex that day being 'ignored'. She said it also makes her feel like her husband is desperate and only wants her for one thing.
> 
> Like I said, I personally don't get it. If I am not in the mood for it, but my husband wants to 'pet me'...I don't mind letting him know I am not in the mood for sex, but if he wants to continue petting me, he is more than welcome. Most often, I am happy to oblidge with a quicky or a bj, as long as he is not personally insulted that I am just 'coming along for the ride'. lol


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

"get" as in understand it or "get" as experience it?

Yes.


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## john1068 (Nov 12, 2013)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Came home from traveling today. After how Wednesday went regarding sex (hence my OP), I decided that I wasn't going to initiate at all tonight. I wasn't going to open myself up to that again.


Well, how did last night go for you?


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

john1068 said:


> Well, how did last night go for you?


She initiated last night.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Plan 9 from OS, 
I could be off base but maybe she wasn't in the mood for vanilla sex and decided it was going to be (not vanilla). Personally I say when your wife rides you hard and angry that you should role with it.

Contrary to what many will say, I think you should not say anything else it will come across as insecure. (I know shoot me now ladies). Just thinking she roughed it up because that seemed better than same ole same old maybe?


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Thundarr said:


> Plan 9 from OS,
> I could be off base but maybe she wasn't in the mood for vanilla sex and decided it was going to be (not vanilla). Personally I say when your wife rides you hard and angry that you should role with it.
> 
> Contrary to what many will say, I think you should not say anything else it will come across as insecure. (I know shoot me now ladies). Just thinking she roughed it up because that seemed better than same ole same old maybe?


I wish Thundarr, but it wasn't the case. She was pissed because I was initiating while we laid in bed cuddling. Her thought was that I would be in a foul mood if I didn't get any that night. So she "attacked" and did the rough kissing and sex because she felt like she was in a "can't win" situation. Sucks because I thought she was originally hot to trot only to later realize it was duty sex.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Athol calls it hating you with her vagina. You're supposed to turn it down flat.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> I wish Thundarr, but it wasn't the case. She was pissed because I was initiating while we laid in bed cuddling. Her thought was that I would be in a foul mood if I didn't get any that night. So she "attacked" and did the rough kissing and sex because she felt like she was in a "can't win" situation. Sucks because I thought she was originally hot to trot only to later realize it was duty sex.


hmm. Good luck. Maybe WorkingOnMe has a point.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Athol calls it hating you with her vagina. You're supposed to turn it down flat.


I would have if I knew it for what it was from the beginning. We don't have duty sex, but for some reason I got it that Wed.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

You should probably demand, and then hold out for, an apology.


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## Voltaire2013 (Sep 22, 2013)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Athol calls it hating you with her vagina. You're supposed to turn it down flat.


I like Athol but I thought as men we we're supposed to turn down sex, ever. I've been there with the angry sex with a previous ex, she said sometimes she just wanted to fvck me. I obliged. 

I don't view it as a bad thing as long as it's not the norm. It's a chance to be more open about your spouses sexuality.

Cheers,
V_13


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## Voltaire2013 (Sep 22, 2013)

Voltaire2013 said:


> I like Athol but I thought as men we we're supposed to turn down sex, ever. I've been there with the angry sex with a previous ex, she said sometimes she just wanted to fvck me. I obliged.
> 
> I don't view it as a bad thing as long as it's not the norm. It's a chance to be more open about your spouses sexuality.
> 
> ...


Ahem 'not' turn down sex. As you were....


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

I'll give a little run down of what happened since Wed. 


Thursday: Travel for work to be at a customer site on Friday. We were apart and we talked twice on the phone - good discussions.
Friday: Wrap up the customer visit, return home for a bout 10 minutes and go right back out to a church activity at the K of C. Get back home and my wife initiated and we had a good night of sex. It wasn't a lust filled night - more of a "I need you so that we can reconnect".
Saturday: We're doing our typical Saturday, which involves doing work around the house for a few hours. We're getting a head start spring cleaning for a big party we're having in the spirng. Somehow over lunch, wife says "we're not having sex today". That pissed me off. Not because it would end up being a night with no sex per se, but the fact that she'd shoot it down before we would get a chance to see how things would progress.
Saturday cont: I told her how that made me feel to basically remove something from the table before even giving anything a chance to unfold. It's like getting a test from your teacher that you have to take and the teacher telling you "by the way, you already failed the course but please take the test anyways for our records...". So made me feelings known, talked about how I've been rolling up my sleeves and trying to do more for you by stepping up my game around the house, and the other things I've been working on to improve. I took the 5 languages of love survey, got my results and tried to get my wife to take it too so we could learn more about each other. She blew it off. That also was something that upset me and I held on to that a little too. That plus "shutting the door" put me in a bad mood. So I did some things for myself like my workouts, putted around on the computer (normally not during the day on a Sat) and did some things for me. I also was cordial to the wife, but did not engage her later in the day and stayed away.
We went to church and the wife and I still went out to dinner like we planned. Even though I was upset, I started to let some of it go to have a good time with her. Life's too short and the kids do get under our skin, so... As the evening wore on, I relaxed more and we talked more and soon we were back to our old selves. We get home, get ready for bed and we watch the Olympics in bed. Before she gets into bed, she asked me to "warm up her side" (it's cold here). She gets into bed and asks "why didn't you warm up my side?" I say, I'm taking care of my own side. She asks, "then can I come over to your side?" I say "of course". Then my wife snuggled up next to me and we were enjoying the time together. She then gets more intimite and she started initiating very subtly. I followed her lead and we ended up having lust filled passionate sex. It was great.

So as of now, things are back to normal and I think we dealt with the situation well. When I got back home, I made a point to NOT initiate because of Wed. She did both times. this weekend. I'm going to drop the "no more initiating" crap and simply chalk this one up to "just a bad day" for Wednesday and move on. I don't know if I handled this situation the best, but it worked for us.

ETA, thanks to everyone for posting in my thread and "listening" to me.


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