# Family problems during separation!



## Dustysmom (Aug 3, 2012)

Hi there,

So me and my husband are separating this Saturday. Things are still very amicable between us and I am hopeful of a reconciliation down the road.

My problem right now is my family. I am going to live with them with my daughter while we are separated. For whatever reason they feel they have the right to know all the details of our separation. Such as how much support, how often husband will see our child, going to a lawyer. I have kindly told them that if I need their advice or help I would ask but until then if they could stay out of my business as I feel this is only between me and my husband. They think I am being unreasonable and asking them to stay out of my life. I never once asked them to stay out of my life. I never wrote or said this but they have assumed it because I have asked them to stay out of some things I beleive are personal. This has caused so many problems and way to many to write but am I being unreasonable?:scratchhead:


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## papa5280 (Oct 12, 2011)

You're not being unreasonable, but at the same time, you are living with them. They are subsidizing the separation. In part, it sounds like they may be concerned that they aren't losing a son-in-law, they are gaining two permanent boarders.

Have you told them that you are hopeful of a reconciliation? if not, that might calm them down some. You also may want to let them know that by sharing all of the other info with them, you might be harming the chances for reconciliation.


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

There is not such thing as financial support with no strings attached.


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## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

I don't think you are being unreasonable in asking them to stay out of some things, but have you been specific and told them why? If they don't know what they are 'allowed' to ask and what not, they will feel unable to ask about anything. Are they asking out of pure interest and concern? Or is it for gossip purposes? To interfere and dish the dirt? Or because you have all been close to one another and always shared what has gone on in your lives?

I think when people open up to you, you feel close to them, when people are closed, you feel miles away and distant. If someone you feel close to refuses to talk and open up, it feels like a rebuff, mistrust of you. 

I guess it all depends on the reasons for them wanting to know and the way you have said you don't want to talk.


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