# Starfish, Duty Sex, Identity Sex?



## Julie's Husband (Jan 3, 2022)

I've seen the comment "starfish" and assume this is a woman that just provides a vagina and nothing else. Sort of like using a sex doll. Or maybe one step up from necrophilia?

Duty sex would be a woman being a part of the sex, but just doing it for the man. A one way thing.

Something I don't see mentioned is what might be called "identity sex". This would be a woman who is a "party girl" and always there for the men. It would be different from duty sex in that this is how she feels recognized and appreciated.

I spent a couple of months with a woman who seemed insatiable. Then one day I decided to satiate her, take her to her limits. I also decided this would be a good time to see how many orgasms I could have in one session.

After a while I mentioned that I'd had as many orgasms as she'd had and somehow from that she realized that I had no more personal need to continue. That ended her interest. She was just there for me. Not duty, but getting appreciation as a woman.


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

I’m not sure I’m following you. 

What is the identity component?


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Julie's Husband said:


> I've seen the comment "starfish" and assume this is a woman that just provides a vagina and nothing else. Sort of like using a sex doll. Or maybe one step up from necrophilia?
> 
> Duty sex would be a woman being a part of the sex, but just doing it for the man. A one way thing.
> 
> ...


Your "identity sex" sounds like an easy woman that likes to get guys off. I think it already had a name.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

oldshirt said:


> I’m not sure I’m following you.
> 
> What is the identity component?


She loved having sex to satisfy a man. It is why she had sex as giving satisfaction to a man sexually is what she found fulfilling about it.

I don't see any problems with it as long as she is loyal.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Starfish sex?

Add some ropes/cuffs to it and suddenly it goes from boring to kinky!


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

ConanHub said:


> She loved having sex to satisfy a man. It is why she had sex as giving satisfaction to a man sexually is what she found fulfilling about it.
> 
> I don't see any problems with it as long as she is loyal.


Given his example: "a woman who is a "party girl" and *always there for the men*" I don't think loyalty is on her list of attributes.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Given his example: "a woman who is a "party girl" and *always there for the men*" I don't think loyalty is on her list of attributes.


LoL! Yup. That's why I included loyalty. Some have it and some are willing to step up for the right man though many of their party sistas aren't.😉


----------



## Julie's Husband (Jan 3, 2022)

Identity sex is where a woman derives her sense if self through male sexual adoration and attention.

I can see that this type of personality might well prefer attention from multiple men. Party time.


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

I’m still not sure I’m completely getting what he is talking about.

How does being a party girl and not wanting to keep going once the other was no longer showing an interest correlate? 

I mean I am a horny guy, but if my partner is not interested or no longer into it, I would have no interest in continuing either.


----------



## Julie's Husband (Jan 3, 2022)

oldshirt said:


> I’m still not sure I’m completely getting what he is talking about.
> 
> How does being a party girl and not wanting to keep going once the other was no longer showing an interest correlate?
> 
> I mean I am a horny guy, but if my partner is not interested or no longer into it, I would have no interest in continuing either.


I did not realize her reason for having sex. When I no longer needed to party she was done. I would not continue past the point where my partner is interested, either.


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

I'm curious about how this woman was unaware you had already orgasmed multiple times? It is pretty obvious when I've orgasmed, and then there's the whole ejaculation thing.


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

oldshirt said:


> I’m still not sure I’m completely getting what he is talking about.
> 
> How does being a party girl and not wanting to keep going once the other was no longer showing an interest correlate?
> 
> I mean I am a horny guy, but if my partner is not interested or no longer into it, I would have no interest in continuing either.


Her whole purpose is to get the guy off. 

Doesn't make much sense to me either. That seems to be my wife's goal too and I assume many woman's goals. I think the key factor here is based on the description she does it with any man in need. Just sounds like a run of the mill **** to me.


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Julie's Husband said:


> Identity sex is where a woman derives her sense if self through male sexual adoration and attention.
> 
> I can see that this type of personality might well prefer attention from multiple men. Party time.


We used to call that an Attention Wh0re back in the day.


----------



## Julie's Husband (Jan 3, 2022)

BigDaddyNY said:


> I'm curious about how this woman was unaware you had already orgasmed multiple times? It is pretty obvious when I've orgasmed, and then there's the whole ejaculation thing.


She was aware. I have full body orgasms and we usually had multiple orgasms, but I didn't usually count. I would immediately go for number two after the first as that seemed to really firm up the erection. My comment about the orgasm seemed to cue her that I was just playing along to keep up with her rather than needing more, I guess. Dunno. The answer is lost in time.


----------



## Julie's Husband (Jan 3, 2022)

oldshirt said:


> We used to call that an Attention Wh0re back in the day.


Sounds like a good definition.


----------



## DamianDamian (Aug 14, 2019)

I don't know what you're trying to say, it seems very black and white.


----------



## CraigBesuden (Jun 20, 2019)

Julie's Husband said:


> I've seen the comment "starfish" and assume this is a woman that just provides a vagina and nothing else. Sort of like using a sex doll. Or maybe one step up from necrophilia?


There seems to be a lot of confusion about “starfish sex.” To me it seems self-explanatory. A starfish has 5 limbs going in different directions.




























A woman has a head and four legs. If a woman just lays down, spreads her legs eagle, and puts in no effort, that is starfish sex.




























You will never look at people making snow angels the same way ever again.


----------

