# Erectile Dysfunction after Divorce



## sadsoul (Aug 10, 2010)

I joined this forum a few years back for advice during my divorce. To make a long story short, my wife left me and I didn't take it very well. A few years have passed and I have gotten back out into the dating seen. I am 36 years old. I am 6'1" and weigh about 170 pounds. Exercise daily. Jog, lift weights. No health issues.

I started dating and noticed that I was having issues. I wasn't a stud with my ex by no means but could get a erection and perform. I would get into really great situations. I started to really like the dating seen and noticed that when I connected with girls i liked I wasn't getting a natural erection from foreplay. I needed manual stimulation to get a erection(which is embarrassing) and some times the manual stimulation would get me too worked up to last very long. The issues stunted my dating. Girls i liked would want to have sex and I was backing out of the situation past making out. I had a few times that I backed out of fantasy situations. I am 36 and met a few girls in the 23-25 year old range. Stuff happens when you go out and I was backing out of situations that would make me sick. 

I met a girl I like a lot. I went into the situation with my issue. She was patient. She was concerned but didn't stop dating me. I went into freak out mode and talked to people i worked with that were single and my age. Almost everybody told me to go see a doctor. Doctors will give you what you want. My buds are right. The docs will give you meds. The meds work sort of. Nothing is perfect. Using meds opened a pandoras box though. The girl I was dating new that I was enhanced. I am always honest. Buds at work always say never reveal the source of your power. Once you tell the truth women can't handle it. I started dating this girl with a issue and the meds fixed it sort of. She wanted me to do some dry runs without meds and for the most part they were failures. The runs on meds are better but since i have been out of practice for a few years they were also not perfect. We always use condoms and a few time the meds would give me a solid erection but for some reason i couldn't climax. I go from not getting a erection and lasting a few minutes to being rock hard but can't climaxing lol. 

I really hope that the doc can figure this out. It would be great if my issue could just be fixed. Its sad that the docs are so quick to give ED meds but don't evaluate what the source of the issues are. The girl i am dating is patient but concerned. I honestly don't blame her. 

Anybody have issues like this and worked past it? Doctor work out the right treatment to fix it? I don't want to lie to her. If the doc says im healthy and my issue is mental, I don't want to be a failure till i work through it. I would rather perform better with meds than struggle without them. This sucks so bad. I honestly understand why she would rather be with a guy with no meds. Being a guy is great other than this lol. We are expected to perform. So much of it is mental. If you worry it can kill it. If you are on meds it can ease the stress but not your girls stress lol.


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## wise (Sep 1, 2013)

It sounds like a mental problem. 

Sadly, these problems do not go away over night. You need to ditch the meds because once you become addicted, you'll never get a hard on without them. 

Worrying about "will I get hard this time" will do exactly the opposite. Your mind is not concentrated on "Yes, this girl is so hot, I can't wait to f*ck her later", it's more focused on "Wtf is wrong with me, she's going to leave me if I can't get hard." If you want to have sex naturally, worrying and freaking out is not going to benefit you. 

I don't know if it's to late for this girl or not. You might have to move on and regather yourself and build up your confidence again because right now.. its zero.. and the longer you are with her = the longer your confidence will stay at zero. 

The best thing to do.. is to go back to the basics. Try to put your mindset back into college/high school.. before your divorce.. what was it like then? You need to somehow process that back into your brain.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

It can happen after a divorce or traumatic breakup.

You have to get reps in where they don't know about your situation. You need to build your confidence back up.


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## KanDo (Jun 15, 2011)

An the ED drugs can lead to delayed ejaculations. You may be taking too much.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

Are you taking any kind of anti depression medications, or any other medications? If not and its deemed "mental" what you need to do is realize no worse off than the thousands of other cats whose wives ditched them that same year. Why do you believe you're weaker, more sensitive, less entitled to be hurt than any other guy. Show me a room with 100 guys and I'll show you 100 guys who've been rejected by a woman. Hell man, you're 36 years old, 6'1''. What if you were 5'3" and 220. 
Sometime you need to quit telling yourself, "how could she do me like that. It ruined my life and destroyed my soul" Guess what my man, it wasn't your ex old lady that done it to you. You take a shot at who did. You're letting the ghost of Christmas past screw up your future Dawg.


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## sadsoul (Aug 10, 2010)

Thanks for the advice. I took antidepressants for 2 years after my divorce. I haven't taken them for over a year. 

I am over my divorce. Like i said i am more concerned about the future than the past. I know one thing though. Girls my age are not patient with guys that can't get it up. You meet a girl you like in her 30's and get lucky enough to get them in the sack, better do good the first time. Don't want to throw doubt into the equation so early on. 

Im going back to the doctor soon. Have some blood work done. Men in my family tend to have low testosterone. I have been out of the game for a while and do believe that its mostly mental. 

The doctor gave me daily cialis. I was taking it daily. 5mg per day. I took them till my free samples ran out lol. 30 count of cialis costs almost $200. I also have a small script for viagra. Three 100mg viagra cost $100. Doctors hand this stuff out like candy. I just had a physical when i went in. Doctor didn't even do bloodwork on my first visit and still wrote me a script. Max dose of cialis people take is 20mg. I take it as needed now over daily due to the cost. I usually take about 10mg to 15mg of cialis before a date night. The viagra works better. I cut the 100mg pills in half so i have 6 doses. The viagra works better but only lasts 4 hours. The cialis doesn't work as well but lasts all night.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

Because women, especially the younger ones, tend to blame themselves as not being attractive. Look at what women do to be attractive; makup, extensive diets, sexy clothes, etc. They are thinking, "it must be me". What's worse, they tend to want to prove otherwise. They are not going to that much work only to have it go south on them.


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## IndyTMI (Oct 26, 2012)

Yeah, it happened to me with my new relationship as well. When I was having difficulty, any concern or pressure to finish just made it that much worse. I found that if I increased the amount of foreplay before going to town helped a lot.
When we first started, I couldn't keep an erection, then it was I just couldn't climax. A few months into it, I was batting about 50% on finishing. It is a mental thing in your head. I know this because I could masturbate and finish in less than 5 minutes, whereas with her, it took a good 20 - 30 minutes to get there.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

IndyTMI said:


> Yeah, it happened to me with my new relationship as well. When I was having difficulty, any concern or pressure to finish just made it that much worse. I found that if I increased the amount of foreplay before going to town helped a lot.
> When we first started, I couldn't keep an erection, then it was I just couldn't climax. A few months into it, I was batting about 50% on finishing. It is a mental thing in your head. I know this because I could masturbate and finish in less than 5 minutes, whereas with her, it took a good 20 - 30 minutes to get there.


When you know you can bang it in, with little resistance or negativity or doubt, it will do what it's supposed to do.


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

Stress man ... unresolved issues maybe from your divorce. Now you are aware of it and that is hindering. Relax - try to put your mind on just enjoying and not how well you will perform.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Oh yeah, the ED hit big time through my divorce. It still pops up, or not as it were, from time to time...either it's still ED, or we do it so damn much that it just gets worn out.


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## sadsoul (Aug 10, 2010)

The girl I was talking about in this thread just told me she wanted to chill for a bit today. NO LIE LOL. She made reference to my issues. I had a bad feeling this was going to happen after my last performance. I guess thats why i made this thread because i felt like the end was near. My issues were too much I guess. I played it cool and didn't throw a fit. Just told her that is fine and left it at that. I'll leave her a lone. Sucks because i liked this one. Maybe i'll get things squared up before the next girl. 

Next doctors visit is real soon. :scratchhead:


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## WalterWhite (Sep 14, 2012)

SadSoul, explain to your girl that the ED meds do not cause an erection. They remove the causes of ED, but to get hard, you still need to be with a woman that arouses you. Most women do not understand this and that is why they don't like it when their man takes ED meds. One more time: The ED meds remove the things in the blood that cause ED, and DO NOT cause an erection....that still takes a hot chick. In other words, if you take Viagra, and then get into bed with a man or a very fat woman that smells of rotten fish, your penis is NOT going to get hard...you see what I mean? Also, taking the ED meds after a large meal is going to kill their effectiveness. On a date, take the meds BEFORE you eat, and don't worry....they'll still be effective hours later when you're about to do the wild thing.


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## IndyTMI (Oct 26, 2012)

lol @ WalterWhite... I love your descriptives.  rotten fish. :lol:


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## Stretch (Dec 12, 2012)

For anyone that has unreliable performance with the pills, you could consider the injectable TriMix. Nearly guaranteed success for up to 3 hours and the erection remains after ejaculation until the meds wear off.

Go to a specialized clinic not your urologist, they will give you a prescription that is too strong and could lead to a priapism. I had two before I changed to the specialized clinic. Now anywhere from 90 minutes to 3 hours and I have learned to adjust the dose depending on the expected evening's potential.

Instant porn star without the loss of sensitivity. Get ready for the time of your life!


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## ekamagra (Oct 8, 2015)

sadsoul said:


> I joined this forum a few years back for advice during my divorce. To make a long story short, my wife left me and I didn't take it very well. A few years have passed and I have gotten back out into the dating seen. I am 36 years old. I am 6'1" and weigh about 170 pounds. Exercise daily. Jog, lift weights. No health issues.
> 
> I started dating and noticed that I was having issues. I wasn't a stud with my ex by no means but could get a erection and perform. I would get into really great situations. I started to really like the dating seen and noticed that when I connected with girls i liked I wasn't getting a natural erection from foreplay. I needed manual stimulation to get a erection(which is embarrassing) and some times the manual stimulation would get me too worked up to last very long. The issues stunted my dating. Girls i liked would want to have sex and I was backing out of the situation past making out. I had a few times that I backed out of fantasy situations. I am 36 and met a few girls in the 23-25 year old range. Stuff happens when you go out and I was backing out of situations that would make me sick.
> 
> ...


Yes, it can occur after a traumatic breakup especially in a case where you loved her the most in life. Some men after divorce get into depression, which may later on affect your erection.
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