# The switch.



## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

I am two years older than my wife. I am now almost 52 and she just turned 50. I have always been the HD one in the marriage. I have always come up with the new things to try. Brought home the toys and kinky ideas. I was the first one under the covers to get things started.

Now lately I have become more of the LD. I am ok with just cuddling. Falling into bed at night I am ok with going to sleep. Oral sex for me is ok but I no longer seem to be able to get over the edge. The drawer full of toys doesn't get opened very much anymore. Ropes and kinky things of the past are not used very often.

On the other hand the wife is now wanting more. She is the one that is starting things. Trying to get things up and running so to speak. She now is wanting it more than me. Complaining about me being always tired. I am content snuggling on the couch watching a movie and then crawling into bed to get some sleep.

Is this normal?


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

You might want to get your testosterone levels checked.


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## northland (Apr 13, 2012)

If you don't satisfy her you run the risk she'll seek out other sex partners.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Happyquest said:


> I am two years older than my wife. I am now almost 52 and she just turned 50. I have always been the HD one in the marriage. I have always come up with the new things to try. Brought home the toys and kinky ideas. I was the first one under the covers to get things started.
> 
> Now lately I have become more of the LD. I am ok with just cuddling. Falling into bed at night I am ok with going to sleep. Oral sex for me is ok but I no longer seem to be able to get over the edge. The drawer full of toys doesn't get opened very much anymore. Ropes and kinky things of the past are not used very often.
> 
> ...


Sometimes couples can switch roles. The brain chemistry adjusts along with it as well. I have a theory that the male tesosterone is reduced more and the female testosterone increased more due to this alone.

Take the actions you used to take even if you don't feel it, to restore your balance. Keep some cuddling and intimacy in there, but don't over do it.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Agreed with getting test levels checked. I went off my natural test booster for a few months and I'm tired, don't want to weight train or have much sex. So I ordered more and will start my cycle again next week. Big difference from when you are teens and early 20's to say 40+ years old. Then you'll have the best of both worlds. HD wifee finally and with your test, both HD good to go. :smthumbup:


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

I am exactly where you are (inluding our ages) except I don't want to be touched by her at all. She is beginning to repulse me actually


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

treyvion said:


> Sometimes couples can switch roles. The brain chemistry adjusts along with it as well. * I have a theory that the male tesosterone is reduced more and the female testosterone increased more due to this alone*.
> 
> Take the actions you used to take even if you don't feel it, to restore your balance. Keep some cuddling and intimacy in there, but don't over do it.


All explained very well in this book >> The Alchemy of Love and Lust: Books

This talks about all the male/ female hormones & the seasons they play in our lives.... how these affect our brains, our behaviors, our desires..... 

For MEN...their PRIME is early 20's.. ...for women - late 30's /early 40's ....Seems a cruel Joke the Gods play on us....

Found this on the net once... how it generally plays out..



> *Balance the seesaw
> 
> *. When they were first married, the man remembered, he always took the sexual lead, pulling his wife close and whispering his desire to make love. But now, 20 years later, she often makes the first move.
> 
> Again, *hormonal changes* are bringing the couple into closer balance. Men and women both produce testosterone and estrogen, but the proportion of each changes over the years. The male's shifting levels of *estrogen* and *testosterone* may make him more willing to follow than to lead, happy for his wife to set the pace. And as a woman's estrogen declines and her testosterone becomes proportionately greater, she may become more assertive.


During this phase in your life.... my feelings.. as this happened to me and my husband as well... is to allow the partner in need to "turn you on" to Love making.... getting started may be more about the emotional connection - over the physical drive, but this often kicks in -after you've been heated up..... if Not, things start failing....get your Test checked. 

I didn't like when my hubby was slowing down, I started a little fight one night....and it's funny how it played out.. got this interesting analogy out if it....helped me see it in a better light...... 
 http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-ma...allowing-our-partner-turn-us-love-making.html


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

northland said:


> If you don't satisfy her you run the risk she'll seek out other sex partners.


:iagree:


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

northland said:


> If you don't satisfy her you run the risk she'll seek out other sex partners.


That is a pretty big assumption that questions her character. It isn't a foregone conclusion and I would know since I am HD with an LD partner and have not strayed in our 20 year marriage despite having opportunity.

OP, 52 is not old by any stretch. Heck, my dad is 70 and his drop in vitality is barely perceivable (don't know about the bedroom except that they are still active). It DOES sound like a drop in testosterone, especially with the lack of energy. The good news is that you can treat it and get that energy back.


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