# tired of being lonely and confused



## itsathinline (Apr 25, 2010)

I am a 34 yo old wife and mother of 3. We have been together for 6 years married for 5. On the outside I seem to have a happy marriage as we have worked hard to keep up that image But I am truly unhappy. It is not a secret because I communicate my feelings often. I know there will be ups and downs however my H is the type that never wants to address an issue head on I often talk to him about my feelings he listens gives his opinion but nothing changes he tries to compensate for his short comings by giving me money or something materialist. Our issues are endless and needless to say I am at my breaking point. At this present time communication seems to be our biggest stumbling block. Its like he will say something and either change it to something else or think he said something that he never said. I get so frustrated with him!!! I'm a very sexual person but have gotten to the point that I don't want him to touch me. The only time he is nice to me is when he wants sex or wants to hang out with buddies it worked for the first few years and then I began to realize what it really was. He is usually sleep or in another room watching TV but definitely not doing housework or yard work, cooking. And when we do have sex it only last for5 Min's tops so I am always never satisfied. I have come to the conclusion why even bother. He never compliments me and we never spend one on one time together. In other words we are rarely in the same place at the same time. The excuse that he is working was used for that. And that is true he does work alot but when he is not working like I said before he is usually golfing or watching TV to tired to spend time with me. I come second to all. He doesn't even respect me enough to shower before coming to bed. Being stinky, having dirty nails looking plain unkempt is a turn off. He has some good qualities as far as being dependable a good father and spiritual likable man He doesn't have good husband skills and refuses counseling or any other forms of intervention. I know this is long but advice is needed do I stay or go.


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## jtk (Apr 24, 2010)

I can sooo relate to alot of what you said and i empathize with you. I am going through the same thing with my husband right now and I know the pain. I also know about never wanting to address an issue head on and thinking he said something that he never said. It is so frustrating. Not sure that I can offer any advice because I am in a confused state myself and contemplating divorce. I just wanted to chime in and say I understand.


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## itsathinline (Apr 25, 2010)

What is one to do and when is enough enought. Im at the point where I need to take care of me so I can be a good mother and an even better person.


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## jtk (Apr 24, 2010)

When he is unwilling to pursue counseling or any other alternative, I guess you need to ask yourself (as do I) what is left to do? He's not leaving you many choices. Would he wake up if you told him you weren't happy and were thinking of leaving?


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## itsathinline (Apr 25, 2010)

I have already expressed those feelings to him and he will straighten up for a day or two and then it is back to the norm.


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## jtk (Apr 24, 2010)

The same with my husband, things change for awhile and then it's back to the same thing. I have come to the conclusion that I either accept him and the marriage the way it is or get out and try to find happiness elsewhere..


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