# A horrible practical joke!



## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

I told my LD wife last night that I was going to give up masturbating and wanted her to satisfy all of my needs. 

Picture in your mind the sound of silence and my wife standing there with a look of horror on her face. I told her I was just kidding.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

then after you said your kidding, you should have turned around and told her that you are sparing her need to get involved with you sexually because your looking for a surrogate partner to help you out. Now that is a thoughtful husband.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

That would be thoughtful!


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

Interesting. I did that 35 years ago and my wife asked her girlfriend to have sex with me and then eventually moved her in so that I had two women to share the load, so to speak. Funny how wives have different reactions.

Four years ago we moved away from the woman who my wife shared me with so we were a couple again and had the same problem of my libido being much greater than that of my wife. Her solution this time was to ask me to buy one of those new chastity devices found in online drug stores and sex shops, designed to prevent masturbation. I did and have been wearing one 24/7 for the last 4 years. My wife is OK with porn but still has old time thinking that masturbation is wrong. She said that I owed her a few thousand orgasms since she gave me full access to her girlfriend at any time with or without my wife taking part. I agree. Not many men get to have threesomes as their regular marital sex for 30 years. I have had more threesomes than porn stars. So I agreed that sex would now be for my wife's orgasms only until she feels that I can have one. So it has been that way. I have waited as long as 3 months for an orgasm while my wife enjoys several each week. We still have sex the same way but the only difference is that we skip the 10 seconds of my orgasm. She is an expert at bringing me to the edge and then stopping, over and over again.

My wife is enjoying having sex focus on just her for a change. I used to be the focus of all of our sex and she shared me with her best friend so I had more sex than she did. Now it is time to pay the piper and i am fine with that. I enjoy the sexual arousal that comes with anticipating an orgasm more than the orgasm itself. Last night she allowed me to orgasm aftre 5 weeks of chastity. It was good but now I have lost the sexual energy and constant feeling of sexual arousal that I had before my orgasm. As usual I regret having the orgasm. 10 seconds of pleasure is not worth giving up how I felt when I was denied and then edged over and over again by my wife. We will start again after my wife's surgery next week. I rarely stay unlocked for long. Hard to explain but I feel like I used to when I was dating and waiting all week to find out if I was going to get some from whoever I was dating at the time. The nervousness and uncertainty.

For us, chastity play was a way to deal with our differing libidos. I had to stop masturbating because it was eating up too much of my time and making regular sex feel boring. My wife is not a porn start who has piercings and can put her high healed feet behind her head and then flip over into various positions for the next hour or so. With porn, you end up needing more and more extreme stuff to get the same benefit. Now just looking at my wife's cleavage arouses me. Only getting my orgasms from my wife is one of the most exciting thigns I have experiences. You do not need an chastity device to do this either. You can go on the honor system. That is how we initially tried it and what I do when I get the occasional skin problems. I have learned to not masturbate whether locked up or not.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Vinnydee said:


> Interesting. I did that 35 years ago and my wife asked her girlfriend to have sex with me and then eventually moved her in so that I had two women to share the load, so to speak. Funny how wives have different reactions.
> 
> Four years ago we moved away from the woman who my wife shared me with so we were a couple again and had the same problem of my libido being much greater than that of my wife. Her solution this time was to ask me to buy one of those new chastity devices found in online drug stores and sex shops, designed to prevent masturbation. I did and have been wearing one 24/7 for the last 4 years. My wife is OK with porn but still has old time thinking that masturbation is wrong. She said that I owed her a few thousand orgasms since she gave me full access to her girlfriend at any time with or without my wife taking part. I agree. Not many men get to have threesomes as their regular marital sex for 30 years. I have had more threesomes than porn stars. So I agreed that sex would now be for my wife's orgasms only until she feels that I can have one. So it has been that way. I have waited as long as 3 months for an orgasm while my wife enjoys several each week. We still have sex the same way but the only difference is that we skip the 10 seconds of my orgasm. She is an expert at bringing me to the edge and then stopping, over and over again.
> 
> ...



Your claim to fame appears to be threesomes.


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

Yeswecan said:


> Your claim to fame appears to be threesomes.


and toying with the body chemicals that keep someone in a Stockholm Syndrome type addictive state....

NO thank you, not for me, that is a dangerous game... This is the first time reading your post, which most of them I skip, where I now realize you are strategically feeding an addiction. That "high" that you get before orgasm that you are now choosing to elongate to stay on the "high" is actually an addiction to those chemicals. Just so you are aware of what you are doing....

Carry on...


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## tornado (Jan 10, 2014)

TX-SC said:


> I told my LD wife last night that I was going to give up masturbating and wanted her to satisfy all of my needs.
> 
> Picture in your mind the sound of silence and my wife standing there with a look of horror on her face. I told her I was just kidding.



I love that look. It's like "oh sh!t, I'm caught off guard and can't even come up with a good lie. Damnit, I'm losing my touch."

Hysterical!!


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

Blossom Leigh said:


> and toying with the body chemicals that keep someone in a Stockholm Syndrome type addictive state....
> 
> NO thank you, not for me, that is a dangerous game... This is the first time reading your post, which most of them I skip, where I now realize you are strategically feeding an addiction. That "high" that you get before orgasm that you are now choosing to elongate to stay on the "high" is actually an addiction to those chemicals. Just so you are aware of what you are doing....
> 
> Carry on...


Jury is still out with me on whether this guy is for real....


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

OMG I saw a stand up comedian describing his wife coming to him after the neighbor caught her husband looking at porn and saying, "you don't look at porn and masturbate do you? You do know that if you ever felt the need that I would always take care of that for you don't you?"

He said the thoughts that went through his mind were to struggle to keep a straight face and think, "she does not know what she is signing up for, and she will never understand all my years of hard work trying to protect her!"

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: 

Badsanta


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

While my wife and I struggled with our sex life (meh, still struggling) we planned to have sex one morning. That morning she decided against it so I went in to shower and took care of myself. She then showered, came out and invited me to bed. I explained to her that I was all set since she told me sex was off so I masturbated in the shower.

She was flabbergasted. It never occurred to her that I masturbated. She said that she wanted me to save all my orgasms for her. I explained to her that I had been masturbating since I was 10 and unless she was ready to meet my sexual needs (3-4 times a week while we were struggling to get it done once per week) then I'd continue masturbating.

TX-SC is right... I think most women don't realize the fact that masturbation is probably the bulk of a guy's "sex life" and would be shocked to learn that.


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

There are seriously women that don't know their husbands "spank the monkey" often??? How is this possible?? They don't even think they do it at ALL?

Huh????

Maybe it's just because I know my H is incredibly high drive, but I know he does it at least 4-5X per week, if not daily, in addition to the fact that we have sex almost every day as well.

The only thing I ask is that he doesn't leave his c** rag laying around.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

LosingHim said:


> There are seriously women that don't know their husbands "spank the monkey" often??? How is this possible?? They don't even think they do it at ALL?
> 
> Huh????
> 
> ...


Watch out for those extra socks lying around.


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

TX-SC said:


> Watch out for those extra socks lying around.


Usually washcloths or sometimes papertowels......LOL. Every time, I'm like "Come on man!" :rofl:


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Blossom Leigh said:


> and toying with the body chemicals that keep someone in a Stockholm Syndrome type addictive state....
> 
> NO thank you, not for me, that is a dangerous game... This is the first time reading your post, which most of them I skip, where I now realize you are strategically feeding an addiction. That "high" that you get before orgasm that you are now choosing to elongate to stay on the "high" is actually an addiction to those chemicals. Just so you are aware of what you are doing....
> 
> Carry on...


I don't know about the chemicals portion but every post from this member starts with, "My threesome's..." It is getting tiresome.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

BetrayedDad said:


> Jury is still out with me on whether this guy is for real....


well in one thread he talks about having separate bedrooms for the last 30 years due to his snoring. In another thread he talks about sleeping naked every night with his wife and their GF for the last 30 years.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Blossom Leigh said:


> and toying with the body chemicals that keep someone in a Stockholm Syndrome type addictive state....
> 
> NO thank you, not for me, that is a dangerous game... This is the first time reading your post, which most of them I skip, where I now realize you are strategically feeding an addiction. That "high" that you get before orgasm that you are now choosing to elongate to stay on the "high" is actually an addiction to those chemicals. Just so you are aware of what you are doing....
> 
> Carry on...



Stockholm? WTF how on earth do you arrive at Stockholm? Vinny has a power exchange relationship with his wife. Not captive, not abusive, not coerced, he agreed after 30 years of near sexual freedom.

As a person who was in a constant state of arousal for about 7-10 years prior to menopause I would like to see a credible source for this claim.



@Viinydee, I have heard this from other men who wear a chastity device, that when their climax is not on the menu they become engrossed in their partners responses but even better is that their partners also become completely focused on their own pleasure.


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

Vinnydee said:


> Interesting. I did that 35 years ago and my wife asked her girlfriend to have sex with me and then eventually moved her in so that I had two women to share the load, so to speak. Funny how wives have different reactions.
> 
> Four years ago we moved away from the woman who my wife shared me with so we were a couple again and had the same problem of my libido being much greater than that of my wife. Her solution this time was to ask me to buy one of those new chastity devices found in online drug stores and sex shops, designed to prevent masturbation. I did and have been wearing one 24/7 for the last 4 years. My wife is OK with porn but still has old time thinking that masturbation is wrong. She said that I owed her a few thousand orgasms since she gave me full access to her girlfriend at any time with or without my wife taking part. I agree. Not many men get to have threesomes as their regular marital sex for 30 years. I have had more threesomes than porn stars. So I agreed that sex would now be for my wife's orgasms only until she feels that I can have one. So it has been that way. I have waited as long as 3 months for an orgasm while my wife enjoys several each week. We still have sex the same way but the only difference is that we skip the 10 seconds of my orgasm. She is an expert at bringing me to the edge and then stopping, over and over again.
> 
> ...


I am waiting for the day I come to this forum and do not see this story posted somewhere on this forum. Seriously dude enough. We get it and it is just getting tired and old.


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## lovelyblue (Oct 25, 2013)

_TX-SC is right... I think most women don't realize the fact that masturbation is probably the bulk of a guy's "sex life" and would be shocked to learn that_

I actually suggest that my ex-BF should do it and I told him that I find it hot if he did.

I even showed him how to do it-(since he never really did it b4).


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

Chris Taylor said:


> While my wife and I struggled with our sex life (meh, still struggling) we planned to have sex one morning. That morning she decided against it so I went in to shower and took care of myself. She then showered, came out and invited me to bed. I explained to her that I was all set since she told me sex was off so I masturbated in the shower.
> 
> She was flabbergasted. It never occurred to her that I masturbated. She said that she wanted me to save all my orgasms for her. I explained to her that I had been masturbating since I was 10 and unless she was ready to meet my sexual needs (3-4 times a week while we were struggling to get it done once per week) then I'd continue masturbating.
> 
> TX-SC is right... I think most women don't realize the fact that masturbation is probably the bulk of a guy's "sex life" and would be shocked to learn that.


Similar experience here, in my marriage. I don't think my wife realized how often us guys do this, or why.

Once she did, I think a little competitiveness came over her, much the same way somebody reacts when their partner gets hit on. Basically, mate-guarding, which is funny, because she mate-guards me from myself!

I've learned to be a bit more open about it, and although I still don't try to get caught, if I do, it often leads to some good times.

She's still very LD, but I'm glad she sees it in a positive light. I've seen one too many posts on this board about people with LD spouses who get upset, or downright angry, if their HD spouse masturbates. Hell, my LD wife masturbates occasionally, and although it DOES bother me a little (as in, she has much less interest in sex than I do, so why not save it for me?) I still recognize it as being healthy, normal, and also as something that is quite different than sex with your partner.


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## Luvher4life (Jan 15, 2016)

Solo masturbation is very rare for me. I guess I'm just not in the norm. Of course, it could be that my wife is a willing partner whenever I get aroused. I much prefer the real thing, and it's very rare for me to ever feel the need to MB solo, and I consider myself very HD.

There's nothing wrong with it. I just rarely feel the need.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Vinnydee said:


> Interesting. I did that 35 years ago and my wife asked her girlfriend to have sex with me and then eventually moved her in so that I had two women to share the load, so to speak. Funny how wives have different reactions.
> 
> Four years ago we moved away from the woman who my wife shared me with so we were a couple again and had the same problem of my libido being much greater than that of my wife. Her solution this time was to ask me to buy one of those new chastity devices found in online drug stores and sex shops, designed to prevent masturbation. I did and have been wearing one 24/7 for the last 4 years. My wife is OK with porn but still has old time thinking that masturbation is wrong. She said that I owed her a few thousand orgasms since she gave me full access to her girlfriend at any time with or without my wife taking part. I agree. Not many men get to have threesomes as their regular marital sex for 30 years. I have had more threesomes than porn stars. So I agreed that sex would now be for my wife's orgasms only until she feels that I can have one. So it has been that way. I have waited as long as 3 months for an orgasm while my wife enjoys several each week. We still have sex the same way but the only difference is that we skip the 10 seconds of my orgasm. She is an expert at bringing me to the edge and then stopping, over and over again.
> 
> ...


Funny, your initials are VD


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

Chris Taylor said:


> While my wife and I struggled with our sex life (meh, still struggling) we planned to have sex one morning. That morning she decided against it so I went in to shower and took care of myself. She then showered, came out and invited me to bed. I explained to her that I was all set since she told me sex was off so I masturbated in the shower.
> 
> She was flabbergasted. It never occurred to her that I masturbated. She said that she wanted me to save all my orgasms for her. I explained to her that I had been masturbating since I was 10 and unless she was ready to meet my sexual needs (3-4 times a week while we were struggling to get it done once per week) then I'd continue masturbating.
> 
> TX-SC is right... I think most women don't realize the fact that masturbation is probably the bulk of a guy's "sex life" and would be shocked to learn that.


Sounds like my wife. Maybe I should arrange a scenario like yours where I could let her know as well that her maybe once a week is not realistic.

As others have stated she might be hurt in a competitive sort of way but maybe a light would go on.


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## Voltaire2013 (Sep 22, 2013)

Which model? I mean, umm, what are those? :wink2:

Cheers,
V(13)



Anon Pink said:


> @Viinydee, I have heard this from other men who wear a chastity device, that when their climax is not on the menu they become engrossed in their partners responses but even better is that their partners also become completely focused on their own pleasure.


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## SurpriseMyself (Nov 14, 2009)

Chris Taylor said:


> While my wife and I struggled with our sex life (meh, still struggling) we planned to have sex one morning. That morning she decided against it so I went in to shower and took care of myself. She then showered, came out and invited me to bed. I explained to her that I was all set since she told me sex was off so I masturbated in the shower.
> 
> She was flabbergasted. It never occurred to her that I masturbated. She said that she wanted me to save all my orgasms for her. I explained to her that I had been masturbating since I was 10 and unless she was ready to meet my sexual needs (3-4 times a week while we were struggling to get it done once per week) then I'd continue masturbating.
> 
> TX-SC is right... I think most women don't realize the fact that masturbation is probably the bulk of a guy's "sex life" and would be shocked to learn that.


I think most women know this. It's common knowledge to me.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

SurpriseMyself said:


> I think most women know this. It's common knowledge to me.


I agree. Further, I think if a wife is surprised that her husband masturbates a couple of times per week, she clearly has some learning to do about sexuality.

My husband doesn't masturbate very often because I want his sexual energy. Very rarely do I ever turn him down and usually I want sex more often than he does. I masturbate more often than he does! >


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