# Serious question here...



## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

Should we take offense, as women, if our men watch porn because they are bored when they poop?


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> Should we take offense, as women, if our men watch porn because they are bored when they poop?


I think it's weird he equates sexy time with pooping. 

If the porn is a problem, then the porn is a problem. Doesn't matter when he does it.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Seriously????


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

TexasMom1216 said:


> I think it's weird he equates sexy time with pooping.
> 
> If the porn is a problem, then the porn is a problem. Doesn't matter when he does it.


I mean, maybe he's not pooping. It's just what he does in the morning.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> I mean, maybe he's not pooping. It's just what he does in the morning.


Well, if the porn is a problem, then talk about the porn. If he's into poop porn, I cannot help. That's just a bridge too far for me. 😉 😂 😂 😂


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

I think it's offensive to disturb a man while he sits on the porcelain throne gathering his thoughts for the day 🤣. Great things and ideas happen when a man is alone in the bathroom. I mean look at what Doc Brown invented 😂


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> Should we take offense, as women, if our men watch porn because they are bored when they poop?


No


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

For some people porn is a deal breaker. Others don't care. What matters is how you feel about porn. If you are OK with it, leave the guy in peace


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

We talked about it yesterday, a bit. He said he only does it in the morning because it wakes him up and he doesn't want to bother me because I'm still just so very tired. We both work a lot. I drive for an hour 1 way to get to my job so I have to leave early and most days, I don't even brush my hair before I leave 😆 😆 😆 
Some days, he will wake me.


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## The Narcissist's Wife (10 mo ago)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> We talked about it yesterday, a bit. He said he only does it in the morning because it wakes him up and he doesn't want to bother me because I'm still just so very tired. We both work a lot. I drive for an hour 1 way to get to my job so I have to leave early and most days, I don't even brush my hair before I leave 😆 😆 😆
> Some days, he will wake me.


Like several have stated already..its not about whether its when he pooping or not..or if he says it wakes him up..its whether u have an issue with porn or not. For me personally it is a deal breaker...even tho I assume my H does view it with some of his odd fetishes and sexual requests..I just have never caught him. My exbf before i met H, was secretly addicted to porn. I found an entire duffle bag of videos and sex toys, over 3000 videos on his computer AND also found out he was having girls from Craigslist come to our house while I was at work to "massage" him. He was never allowed to touch me again..and I left him several months later.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

The Narcissist's Wife said:


> Like several have stated already..its not about whether its when he pooping or not..or if he says it wakes him up..its whether u have an issue with porn or not. For me personally it is a deal breaker...even tho I assume my H does view it with some of his odd fetishes and sexual requests..I just have never caught him. My exbf before i met H, was secretly addicted to porn. I found an entire duffle bag of videos and sex toys, over 3000 videos on his computer AND also found out he was having girls from Craigslist come to our house while I was at work to "massage" him. He was never allowed to touch me again..and I left him several months later.


That would definitely be a deal breaker for me as well. I don't think he's addicted to porn. I think it's just easier for him to utilize in the morning.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> We talked about it yesterday, a bit. He said he only does it in the morning because it wakes him up and he doesn't want to bother me because I'm still just so very tired. We both work a lot. I drive for an hour 1 way to get to my job so I have to leave early and most days, I don't even brush my hair before I leave 😆 😆 😆
> Some days, he will wake me.


Do you mean....?

Some days, he will wake me and take me?


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

SunCMars said:


> Do you mean....?
> 
> Some days, he will wake me and take me?


Yes, that's exactly what I mean.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> Should we take offense, as women, if our men watch porn because they are bored when they poop?


I seriously doubt any man masturbates _while_ he's pooping... I mean, if anyone wants to correct me go ahead I guess  

I think what you should be offended by is that he's lying about it. Why can't he just say he's going to the washroom to rub one out? 

If you'd rather he wakes you up, tell him that. If you don't care if he stays in bed and takes care of himself, tell him that. 

And of course, of you have an issue with porn then that may offend you as well.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

bobert said:


> I seriously doubt any man masturbates _while_ he's pooping... I mean, if anyone wants to correct me go ahead I guess
> 
> I think what you should be offended by is that he's lying about it. Why can't he just say he's going to the washroom to rub one out?
> 
> ...


Sorry, I guess I should have worded it better. I did ask him yesterday if he does it WHILE he's pooping. He laughed at me and said it's usually after, that it would be hard to do at the same time. I'm getting this figured out.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

It's up to you. If you are ok with porn fine. I wouldn't be ok with it nor would I watch it. 
People seem to forget that you can masturbate without it.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Diana7 said:


> People seem to forget that you can masturbate without it.


Yep, and I've no doubt someone could even rub one out while browsing TAM instead.

That said for those who have done that, or will do that, I'm okay with not ever knowing about it, since I would hate to have to wash my eyes out with bleach.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

Thank you all, for your advice.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Women looking for a man that doesn't at least occasionally look a porn have better chances in a lesbian relationship (even a lot of them watch porn) or stay single non dating if that's a deal breaker. Are there men that don't watch porn? of course there are, but that's a small percentage of the world's male population. So, if that's a deal breaker, good luck my dear. Mostly, you will find men that lie and hide very well.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

Rob_1 said:


> Women looking for a man that doesn't at least occasionally look a porn have better chances in a lesbian relationship (even a lot of them watch porn) or stay single non dating if that's a deal breaker. Are there men that don't watch porn? of course there are, but that's a small percentage of the world's male population. So, if that's a deal breaker, good luck my dear. Mostly, you will find men that lie and hide very well.


He's upfront and honest. Sometimes too honest. I don't know that I care if he watches porn or not, he just needs to not let it put a hinderance on our sex life.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> he just needs to not let it put a hinderance on our sex life.


That's absolutely right, and a different matter altogether. One thing is to "Look" at porn, another thing is to replace actual intimacy with your partner with porn watching/masturbation. That should be a "de facto" dealbreaker to anyone.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

Rob_1 said:


> That's absolutely right, and a different matter altogether. One thing is to "Look" at porn, another thing is to replace actual intimacy with your partner with porn watching/masturbation. That should be a "de facto" dealbreaker to anyone.


He has gotten a lot better at not just relying on the porn. In the beginning, we barely had a sex life because of it. But he was also single (or only had short term relationships) since him and the mother of his child split about 10 years ago.


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## Julie's Husband (Jan 3, 2022)

That he is watching it in the morning should clue you in. Testosterone and libido are highest in the morning for most men per my endocrinologist.


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## hinterdir (Apr 17, 2018)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> Should we take offense, as women, if our men watch porn because they are bored when they poop?


If you are hurt by it......you are hurt by it. Feel how you feel. Be 100% honest. 
I don't think porn is healthy and not healthy for a relationship. It is sexual activity, sexual energy, sexual release directed toward some nameless woman that he is lusting after. 
I know society acts as if it is harmless and no big deal but it isn't good or healthy for relationships.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

Julie's Husband said:


> That he is watching it in the morning should clue you in. Testosterone and libido are highest in the morning for most men per my endocrinologist.


That's why I woke him this morning 😆


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

hinterdir said:


> If you are hurt by it......you are hurt by it. Feel how you feel. Be 100% honest.
> I don't think porn is healthy and not healthy for a relationship. It is sexual activity, sexual energy, sexual release directed toward some nameless woman that he is lusting after.
> I know society acts as if it is harmless and no big deal but it isn't good or healthy for relationships.


I just have to figure out how to talk to him about it without sounding like I am nagging


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> I just have to figure out how to talk to him about it without sounding like I am nagging


Upfront, few words. You don't need or have to go into a lengthy discourse of exposing your case. just say it: Mr. @BecauseSheWeeps, your porn watching botters me. I find it disrespectful, and detrimental to our relationship. I would prefer if you don't watch it. Would you stop it for me and our relationship? that's all I'm asking of you.

Now you might or you might not get him to agreed. If he says yes "I'll stop it for you" take it with a grain of salt. So many men what they'll do is to refrain for a period of time, but eventually like the proverbial moth drawn to a flame they keep peeking. or right back to it. Just make sure that you will make him understand what will your boundaries be. Just make sure that you are firmly convinced that those boundaries are a deal breaker to you and what would your response to breaking them means. If you give ultimatums and you don't follow through then, mind as well don't say anything because he'll understand that you don't mean what you say, therefore, business as usual, and you'll come across just a "nagging wife".

If he says no, I will not stop watching porn, then what? what would your reaction to it would be? do you know? find out first before you ask, otherwise, why ask?


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

Rob_1 said:


> Upfront, few words. You don't need or have to go into a lengthy discourse of exposing your case. just say it: Mr. @BecauseSheWeeps, your porn watching botters me. I find it disrespectful, and detrimental to our relationship. I would prefer if you don't watch it. Would you stop it for me and our relationship? that's all I'm asking of you.
> 
> Now you might or you might not get him to agreed. If he says yes "I'll stop it for you" take it with a grain of salt. So many men what they'll do is to refrain for a period of time, but eventually like the proverbial moth drawn to a flame they keep peeking. or right back to it. Just make sure that you will make him understand what will your boundaries be. Just make sure that you are firmly convinced that those boundaries are a deal breaker to you and what would your response to breaking them means. If you give ultimatums and you don't follow through then, mind as well don't say anything because he'll understand that you don't mean what you say, therefore, business as usual, and you'll come across just a "nagging wife".
> 
> If he says no, I will not stop watching porn, then what? what would your reaction to it would be? do you know? find out first before you ask, otherwise, why ask?


This morning, I made the offer of giving him what he wants in the morning instead of using porn. I get his point. He has a hard time finishing without being in such a rush in the morning and at night, we are both tired and sometimes it does take him for forever (I think its the white claw). He's pretty reasonable and we communicate very well - he hasn't answered yet because he is at work but he will when he is ready.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> This morning, I made the offer of giving him what he wants in the morning instead of using porn. I get his point. He has a hard time finishing without being in such a rush in the morning and at night, we are both tired and sometimes it does take him for forever (I think its the white claw). He's pretty reasonable and we communicate very well - he hasn't answered yet because he is at work but he will when he is ready.


To me, that's deflecting from what as I understand is what you want : him not watching porn, isn't it that the case? or am I mistaken? You said that you wanted to find a way to how to ask him. Instead you are saying that you made an offer for sex in the mornings? am I correct. If that's the case, then, that has nothing to do with your point of him not watching porn, because even if he were to have great sex with you every morning, the most likely scenario is that he still will watch porn.


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