# Increase my own drive



## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

For the New Year and beyond  Aside from the issues I've had with my H, I still find him attractive and not just physically. It's been 3 years now since I gave birth, about 2 years since my stroke. I have no residuals of childbirth or the stroke now and my drive is still GONE! For my own personal satisfaction I would like to GET horny, just to be horny again. Does that make sense at all? It's just not there. We have a fairly busy day to day schedule, but nothing extreme. We spend a lot of time together, we do a lot of other things, etc. When we do have sex, it's awesome, never left unsatisfied, in fact it seems to get better with time... So why the heck can't I just get horny like normal people, lol???


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Cherry said:


> So why the heck can't I just get horny like normal people, lol???


Beats me! 

Seriously, there could be any number of reasons why your 'horniness' has taken a dive, and maybe that's just the way you are right now. When I turned 45 two years ago, I hit perimenopause in a very bad way, and I've been in the same boat as far as horniness. Doesn't matter what I do, don't do, try, don't try - it's a bit of a flatline right now.

So, you know what? My H and I just keep doing it. I can get aroused during the act, and so we just keep going.

There have actually been studies that have shown that women's libidoes decrease if they do not consistently have sex, so one of the best things you can do is try to keep having sex as often as possible. 

Best wishes.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

Cherry - question for you.... out of left field I suppose.

Were you on the pill before and for how long? Are you on it again?

I have heard stories about how the hormonal changes from the use of the pill on/off and giving birth can wreak some havoc. Hormones are a tricky business.


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

Thanks Enchantment. I think I get frustrated at myself because I'm approaching 40 and I hear a lot about women's drives going through the roof. I still have nothing. 

Do you initiate? I have a hard time with that too as a result of the loss of drive. 

I am like you in that once we start, I'm okay. It's just I miss the urge to want sex! Wish they'd invent some horny pill we could take on occasion


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

anotherguy said:


> Cherry - question for you.... out of left field I suppose.
> 
> Were you on the pill before and for how long? Are you on it again?
> 
> I have heard stories about how the hormonal changes from the use of the pill on/off and giving birth can wreak some havoc. Hormones are a tricky business.


I've only ever been on the pill for a total of a year back in my teens. I did have the depo shot twice in 2003. That wreaked havoc on everything about me! My sex drive was through the roof prior to the shot, and then within weeks of me getting it, I had no drive whatsoever. It eventually came back on some level. 

I also had a fairly difficult childbirth with my twins 3 years ago but according to my gyn and primary, it shouldn't still be affecting me now. I don't know


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Cherry said:


> Thanks Enchantment. I think I get frustrated at myself because I'm approaching 40 and I hear a lot about women's drives going through the roof. I still have nothing.
> 
> Do you initiate? I have a hard time with that too as a result of the loss of drive.
> 
> I am like you in that once we start, I'm okay. It's just I miss the urge to want sex! Wish they'd invent some horny pill we could take on occasion


Well, I must have missed the hormonal surge - never had one like others talk about. But I was pregnant at 39, so spent the early part of my 40's post-partum and breastfeeding. And since getting in to the perimenopause hormonal imbalance thing, I can even tell now the months where there's likely no ovulation. During ovulation I would be much hornier, but I have some months where nothing happens now.

I don't let it deter me. I know that once we get going I can get in to it, and I enjoy it. Yah, I do initiate part of the time. It's still a fun and enjoyable activity. My husband is really easy-going, though. All I have to do is plunk down in his lap with some cleavage showing and he gets the hint right away. I'd say that if we've had a really busy day and we're already in bed, I'll roll his way and reach for him as often as he does for me. He likes it when I roll over and grab his ...er... I like it when he gives me a massage.

Just keep going girl. It's harder to get back into it when you stop. I had some outpatient surgery last month and we are trying to get started back up and he's so raring to go, and I'm working on getting back in to the groove again.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

Any other medications currently?

3 year old twins... well there is your problem right there! (kidding)

Once those little ones give you a little more free time, maybe things will start to gell a bit more. When they are little like that they can suck the energy & sex right out of you sometimes. Be patient and keep on keeping on...


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

Enchantment said:


> My husband is really easy-going, though. All I have to do is plunk down in his lap with some cleavage showing and he gets the hint right away. I'd say that if we've had a really busy day and we're already in bed, I'll roll his way and reach for him as often as he does for me. He likes it when I roll over and grap his ...er... I like it when he gives me a massage.
> 
> Just keep going girl. It's harder to get back into it when you stop. I had some outpatient surgery last month and we are trying to get started back up and he's so raring to go, and I'm working on getting back in to the groove again.


Thanks! Thankfully my H is like yours in that it doesn't take much to get him going  Probably because any hint that he might be getting some is a good thing... lol. Best wishes for getting back in the groove!


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

anotherguy said:


> Any other medications currently?
> 
> 3 year old twins... well there is your problem right there! (kidding)
> 
> Once those little ones give you a little more free time, maybe things will start to gell a bit more. When they are little like that they can suck the energy & sex right out of you sometimes. Be patient and keep on keeping on...


lol - when I asked the question initially, I thought the same thing about our twins! But no, no other meds. Haven't been on any for close to 2 years now and even then it was only Lisinopril for BP. So you're right, it most likely has to do with the little ones. Thank you for the words of encouragement


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Cherry said:


> Thanks Enchantment. I think I get frustrated at myself because I'm approaching 40 and I hear a lot about women's drives going through the roof. I still have nothing.
> 
> Do you initiate? I have a hard time with that too as a result of the loss of drive.
> 
> I am like you in that once we start, I'm okay. It's just I miss the urge to want sex! Wish they'd invent some horny pill we could take on occasion


What does your doctor say about this? If he/she does not have an answer try to find one that specializes in women's sexuality... or something like that.

It can be low progestrone. Wild Oats and other natural/health markets carry a cream that you run on that helps things like this. I've used them before.. they are pretty effective.


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

EleGirl said:


> What does your doctor say about this? If he/she does not have an answer try to find one that specializes in women's sexuality... or something like that.
> 
> It can be low progestrone. Wild Oats and other natural/health markets carry a cream that you run on that helps things like this. I've used them before.. they are pretty effective.


Both my docs are really evasive with my question. My gyn is more focused on my continuing female issues (abnormal pap) and stuck somewhat back when I had all my health issues with the childbirth. I really don't bring it up anymore with him. My primary is more focused on my stroke issue and "why" kind of thing although she did do a blood panel this last time that showed borderline thyroid issues (on the low side)... But she said I don't have enough symptoms of it being serious to warrant any treatment yet. 

Thanks for the recommendation on the cream! I need to check into that, seriously


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

hypothyroid may not help things.


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

I'll have to look into that, I recall reading something about that, but I went this last time for fatigue and slow hair growth... She was explaining that and I didn't think to ask her about my sex drive again :-(
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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