# How do I get my WS to believe me?



## MOOSEY (Apr 24, 2013)

I read a lot of posts from BS who cannot accept that their WS has left them. 
My situation is the reverse, I finally kicked my serial cheater husband out 3 months ago, but he is totally unable to accept that we are over. He texts me saying that he knows he is the best thing for me - yeah right!! He says he knows I still love & want him and I will change my mind soon - er, no I won’t!! I expected this in the beginning, but thought after 3 months he would now be accepting the facts.

I almost wish he was with the OW, then maybe he wouldn’t be behaving like this. 
I just wonder if anyone else has had a similar experience, and how long it might take for him to come to terms with reality. I don’t understand how he can cause all this and refuse to believe that his actions have consequences. I know that since I have forgiven him in the past, he thinks I will again, and this is my fault. But I thought he’d get it by now.


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## ReGroup (Dec 6, 2012)

Are you ready to file?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MOOSEY (Apr 24, 2013)

I'm in UK, have seen a solicitor and instructed him to start proceedings. I have also told my H that I am divorcing him and he will be getting the papers soon. He says that even if we get divorced, there is nothing to stop us getting back together!!


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## Pbartender (Dec 6, 2012)

You do it through decisive, well-planned actions that conclusively demonstrate that your relationship with him is over.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Block his number, block his email. He is used to you being a doormat, so he figures if he harasses you long enough, you will give in like you always did. Kudos to you for staying strong, but blocking him will give you some peace.


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## pepsi1967 (Aug 15, 2013)

my H said things like that too. wonder if is denial or fear? or they just full of themselves. My H felt that his infidelity did not warrant me seeking and following through with a separation....why do they act this way? i've never asked that question out loud..
kudos for you for sticking to your guns!


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## MOOSEY (Apr 24, 2013)

Pepsi I agree. I honestly think that he doesn't feel that his cheating and lying is all that bad. He says things like 'even though 90% of it meant nothing to me, you still won't take me back? why?'.
I do know the main reason as 3xnocharm points out, I've always been a doormat, he cannot seem to realise though that there comes a point where enough is eough. 
I received a text from him earlier today saying ''I know you feel the same as me so come on, lets get on with it''.
I have not given him any reason to believe I will change my mind, and the other times he cheated were not like this. The other times I just cried and then rug swept the whole thing and hardly spoke about it. This is the first time he has moved out or anything. 
I will be honest and say I am not an assertive person, and find it hard to be firm with him when I have to tell him things he doesn't want to hear. I do say them but maybe not as blunt and direct as I should be. I will try and work on that.


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## pepsi1967 (Aug 15, 2013)

good for you...work on being assertive and clear, always be the person with class, no need to get ugly. always a lady. too late for him he will see what a wonderfully strong women he could have grown old with..


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## noas55 (Jun 25, 2013)

I never cheated but I do have a massive ego that has caused problems in my marriage.
The man is showing his egotistical ways. His brain can not accept the loss of you. A mega-egotistical state of mind is kind of like a form of insanity. The person does not comprehend why others can not accept them or what they do. They lie to you and themselves. 
The man cheated numerous times. Only 10% meant something. He needed the women to feed his ego. You feed his ego. 
My suggestion: cut all ties and DO NOT ANSWER him. Ignore him unless you need to do business for divorce or kids. His ego will not accept that you can live w/o him. His ego will come up with its own reason, probably you cheating, for you dumping him. It will make you the villain. 
SIDE WARNING: Mega-ego men can be dangerous. At first signs of danger, get away. I would suggest any meetings are done in a public place.
Pulling for you. Stay strong


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## MOOSEY (Apr 24, 2013)

noas55 - Thank you for your insight, it is very interesting.
He would come home from work regularly complaining that he was not recognised for all the wonderful things he did there. According to him, he was solely responsible for so many improvements and ideas, yet he would constantly complain that other people had got credit for things he himself had done.
Do you think this is part of his egotistical personality? I used to feel sorry for him sometimes, although the frequency that this sort of thing happened made me question it's truth.
Anyone else's WS have similar traits?


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