# What do I do now?



## blahblahblah (Mar 2, 2010)

So I'm editing these posts... Cause I think she read these forums on her own and found this...


Doh...


----------



## sue1168 (Feb 25, 2010)

I think you are the one in the right here. You are limiting your contact with her and being pleasant when you do and, most importantly, you are working on YOU! 

I think the fact that she keeps using your family as some strange excuse not to work on things is her way of avoiding the situation. You need to make it clear to her that there are 2 people in this marriage: 1. YOU and 2. HER. Unless your family is paying your bills, who cares what they think about YOUR marriage and you need to tell her this. 

You've done the right thing by turning the tables on her. She left and now you call the shots. Admitting that there were problems in the marriage and that you can survive without her probably scares her to death because she expected you to chase her and beg her to come back. Keep on being strong!! Don't lose hope that your marriage can survive this, but keep on planning your future as if you'll go it alone. Best of luck!


----------



## GeoffH (Feb 1, 2010)

Hi

I'm in the same position and it's really hard to have that NO contact.

My plan is to have NO contact until she contacts me. And that should be contact that two normal people would have. The phone.

What i need to do then is start our relationship from when it started at the beginning. Start with a quick coffee, remember she fell in love with you years ago so you have an advantage. Try and take it slowly and play a little hard to get. A dinner date should be awhile after the quick coffee together. Try not to bring up the past when you do meet and focus on NOW. Introduce some fun in your meeting with her. Good luck buddy

Hope that makes sense!!!


----------



## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

i think you handled the situation really well. i have to say, though, that i would have exploded just as she did. you remind me of my H with how nonchalant you come off. im not saying that you are, or that its a bad thing. you're probably very logical, as is my H. but it can really be infuriating and hurtful. and your silence in response to the letter would really hurt, which of course would come out as anger. your fights remind me so much of how my H and i fight. I guess i can see it from both sides, but i do feel really bad for her for your silence. that is one of the things that has been the hardest for me to deal with in my marriage.


----------



## blahblahblah (Mar 2, 2010)

See post #1


----------

