# Sexless marriage



## MrDifficult

Hello; I'm not really new and have posted before. My situation: Recently I was diagnosed with Low T, around 40. The Dr. started me on Testosterone and the results have been amazing. I feel wonderful and strong again following several years of health issues etc., but my libido also has increased to the point of distraction. I have made my wife aware of this and have tried to renew our intimacy. She is not willing to participate and we have had so many discussions regarding this now that we are both resolved to wait for something to happen. I realize that our past intimacy has been lacking on my part and she may be dealing with past issues from her early childhood. 
We are especially okay spiritually and mentally, have raised wonderfully involved children, grands and great grands. She as my, wife has done a wonderful job with this. All are Christian and wonderful people. We decided early on to separate our roles as breadwinner and homemaker so she has excelled in her department and we are okay in the bread department. She has devoted her life to what she could do and I have been the "loose cannon" steady jobs, good pay and self employment but vacillating regarding my spiritual calling by attending seminary a couple of times only to become simply a church attender.
All this said to reveal that there is some resentment toward me about my calling and probably other issues that has spilled over to our intimacy. She sent me to "The Upper Room" 25 years ago and I complied (She is pretty controlling but I do love that woman). Therein lies the problem. Now I have some awakened feelings and a better understanding of the physical needs between men and women, but such a lapse in time has occurred where she has no desire or inclination to pursue anything in this area of our physical relationship. I suggested we might see counseling or the Dr. but she is not willing, is embarrassed to go to counseling and will not entertain any sort of medication. She stopped estrogen several years ago and had a total hysterectomy 30 years ago. I know it is completely my fault as a failure in the physical area of our togetherness, but surely am desirous of renewing intimacy especially after reading Dr. Juli Slattery's work "Understanding your husband's sexual needs". I am hesitant to send this work to her even though it expresses exactly my feelings now. 
I am a very patient person and do/have found ways to distract myself, but I really believe we both would benefit from the completeness that our God designed for us in our remaining time together. She is 75, I am 76.
We have been together for 57 years, but separate for the last 25 of those. 
I certainly would appreciate any suggestion you might be willing to offer or is it too late? I stopped testosterone to lower my libido.
Thanks;
Mr. Difficult


----------



## Betrayedone

Really? No one has stepped in to help in the last 6 months?


----------



## MEM2020

No one is stopping you Betrayed. Go ahead - tell the OP what you think. 




Betrayedone said:


> Really? No one has stepped in to help in the last 6 months?


----------



## Betrayedone

I think it's a little late........


----------

