# New Years



## brokenflowers08 (Sep 11, 2014)

So I've been seeing this guy since the summer and we've been taking it slow because of our long relationships/breakups from before. He said he's not sure about us but I'm his favorite person to hangout with. Super confusing.

Anyway, we agreed to keep talking and see where it goes. We' agreed to only see each other. He even got me a Christmas present to my surprise. I assumed he'd want to hangout for NYE, but he said he'll be out of town with friends and we can meet the day before. If he was really interested, wouldn't he want to spend that night around me? Or am I overthinking it? I know we're not officially dating, but it's not like we just met either. What do y'all think?


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## TBT (Dec 20, 2011)

brokenflowers08 said:


> So I've been seeing this guy since the summer and we've been taking it slow because of our long relationships/breakups from before. He said he's not sure about us but I'm his favorite person to hangout with. Super confusing.
> 
> Anyway, we agreed to keep talking and see where it goes.* We'* *agreed to only see each other.* He even got me a Christmas present to my surprise. I assumed he'd want to hangout for NYE, but he said he'll be out of town with friends and we can meet the day before. If he was really interested, wouldn't he want to spend that night around me? Or am I overthinking it?* I know **we're not officially dating,* but it's not like we just met either. What do y'all think?


What exactly is your relationship status? The highlighted parts in your post seem to conflict. Could the plans he has for NYE be ones of long standing?


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

If you are both focused on taking it slow he may intentionally of made plans away from you for New Years eve. New Years eve tends to be a bit intimate of an evening, the booze is flowing and everyone is focusing on a better next year, it's easy to get caught up in the moment and let your emotions over ride your logic. It's possible he isn't as into you as you are into him, he recognizes that and doesn't want the pressure of an intimate type of evening where people have a tendency to get melancholy and make insincere promises.


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## brokenflowers08 (Sep 11, 2014)

Little more background, I'm divorced but married less than a year. He lived with a girl and dated her 5 yrs, never married. 

He said he hates New Years because he feels like he has to go out. But his brother bought him a ticket to some bar/club event. 

Anyway it's probably best I enjoy the night in or out just solo. Our status? I don't know. That's what confuses me. Not just friends but not dating yet. Guess I should cut my losses.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

If you're not just friends, but not really dating, but neither of you is seeing anyone else, then what does that make the two of you? Are you just exclusive friends-with-benefits? It sounds like he likes hanging out with you, and probably enjoys the sex (if your relationship is sexual), but isn't interested in having a real relationship with you. It seems like you want more than that for yourself. If he's not interested in giving you more, why are you still with him?

I would be less concerned about him having NYE plans than with the fact that you've been seeing him for months but don't seem to have any idea as to the status of your relationship - or even if you have a relationship at all. It really is okay to ask such questions. And it really is perfectly okay for you to decide you want more for yourself than whatever this current situation is providing you.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

brokenflowers08 said:


> So I've been seeing this guy since the summer and we've been taking it slow because of our long relationships/breakups from before. He said he's not sure about us but I'm his favorite person to hangout with. Super confusing.
> 
> Anyway, we agreed to keep talking and see where it goes. We' agreed to only see each other. He even got me a Christmas present to my surprise. I assumed he'd want to hangout for NYE, but he said he'll be out of town with friends and we can meet the day before. If he was really interested, wouldn't he want to spend that night around me? Or am I overthinking it? I know we're not officially dating, but it's not like we just met either. What do y'all think?


If you aren't "officially dating" then no I don't think it's strange. Sounds like you guys are just casual dating or hooking up at best


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

If (reading between the lines and making an assumption) you're just having sex with him, and not really dating him, that would put your relationship into a different category. and it may or may not progress beyond that. So -- if that's where you are -- have no expectations and see where things go. If you're not having sex, then he may not be that interested in you. Who knows. Again, just see where things go. Not everyone is a fan of New Year's Eve.


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