# My husband hardly ever wants to have sex



## Lucee74 (Oct 23, 2010)

Okay, having read through this forum, I realize that I am not alone in this. But I still feel horrible about the situation. I am always hearing about how much men like sex, and how they think about it all the time. But I am lucky if my husband has sex with me 3-4 times a month.
He complains he is tired at night - but then gets up around 4 in the morning (does not leave for work until after 7). He gets up early to exercise as he is trying to lose weight. Sometimes he wants morining sex, but that is rare. He prefers Sat. morning when we have nowhere else to go. I feel as if he only wants to be with me when there is nothing better for him to do (exercise, work, television, sleeping).
It has gotten to the point where I avoid him. The lack of all intimacy feels like rejection. So I go to bed late. I also leave the bed early on the days he wants to sleep in. Now he is angry at me for not being available on the rare occasions he is interested. 
It is just so hard to lay next to him night after night and know that he does not want me physically. I would rather avoid the multiple rejections than keep enduring them for the once in a while yes.
I know he sometimes looks at porn on the internet (he tries to hide it, but is not as crafty as he thinks he is). That wouldn't bother me except it is not at all helping his sex drive. I think maybe I can never live up to those perfect bodies, so he is not interested in me.


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## geekchick (Oct 23, 2010)

Have you sat down and talked to him?


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## MzAdventure (Oct 24, 2010)

he may be feeling unattractive, since u said he is trying to lose weight.randomly go n kiss him n tell him how sexy he is and grab his d**k and tell him he makes u wanna jump all over him n smile n walk away.


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## Lucee74 (Oct 23, 2010)

Thank you for your answers.
Yes, I have talked to him, but he is now angry at me for avoiding him the one time he actually wanted sex. I tried telling him that I am tired of being rejected, and it is easier for me to not expect anything. (He says I avoided him by getting up early on a Sat. while he was still sleeping. If I had stayed in bed he might have woken up and wanted sex).
I have tried to seduce the man. He is not overweight, in fact he weighs less than when we got married. 
I think he is stressed at work, and I hope we can work this out. The exercise, which he says is for weight, may be a stress reducer. Or he is feeling older, and worried about that. 
I just sometimes feel so alone and undesirable.


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## malmale (Oct 5, 2010)

in fact, it is pretty unusual for a man to avoid sex... so there MUST be something wrong somewhere that makes him the way he is rite now... it could be the relationship, biological factors, etc...

still i do not believe if it could be working stress coz for many men, sex is the BEST stress reliever


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Testosterone is the key. 

A man with a high testosterone level never feels old. They always feel young, horny and happy.

There are many reasons that the leve drops quietly without giving you a ring, work pressure is one of many reasons that causes the level to drop.

If your man feels he's getting old, losing his interets in bed, it's a signal for you to bring him to the doctor for a blood test. 

He just needs a shot to boost his level, so there's no reason for you to continue staying in lonliness and frustration.

My husband was like yours, maybe he's worse than yours, and we found the fact with the doctor that his level was low. He's only 38.


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## Sierra61 (Feb 22, 2010)

"A man with a high testosterone level never feels old. They always feel young, horny and happy."

Well, this is not true, of course. The words "always" and "never" are always problematic. There are millions of men who have naturally high testosterone and aren't horny for their wives or GF's for various reasons. 

My husband's testerone level is 1,000 and he's 49. That's twice as high as it was when he was 18 years old, but he is not horny and happy all the time. Who is? Life intervenes.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

Been there, done that! Of course mine has health issues, but I understand about the rejection. It takes a toll on your self-esteem so that you just start to avoid so there is no further rejection. Then it comes back on you and they accuse you of avoiding - its a freakin' no-win situation - I know exactly how you feel.

I've just quit pressuring my husband and let him come to me. That has worked some. But apparently, in my no-win situation, since I was asleep and didn't wake up when he wanted some the other day, now I'm avoiding him - nevermind that I was asleep and he apparently didn't do enough to wake me up!

Like I said - can't win situation - good luck!


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