# Help me from a man's perspective.



## sda (Jun 15, 2013)

If possible, please don't read my other post. Pretend all you know is this: I was obviously doing everything right. We dated for 6 months and I never expected that a month after he asked me what kind of ring shape I liked he would propose! I moved in with him right after and then things took a turn for the worse. I actually wanted to wait to set a wedding date. He wanted to get married asap and I thought I hurt his feelings so we agreed on a compromise. However, I got stressed out trying to find the right dress, make plans etc. plus because i lived with him my commute became KILLER. So one day….I had a massive breakdown. After that episode he went back and forth for about two weeks deciding on postponing or not. I begged him not to. He did it.
In an 8 month period since then I became a nag. He never re-established a wedding date. Wow! I was the one who wasn't in a rush and then it flipped! I became resentful. I constantly asked him when we were getting married. I packed my bags. He called my bluff…and I really wasn't ready to leave. I've hit him with pillows. I became the OPPOSITE of what he fell in love with. Anyway…I have managed to be "straight" for about 3 weeks now. I just mustered it up and snapped out of it. Now I have a true resolve. So my question for you is this, even though we already got to the engaged state, do you think you have advice will work if I implement it and act like we were never engaged to begin with? What I'm talking about are tactics, "rules"..things I can actively and consciously do to inspire him to get married to me again. The ***** of this is..I was totally myself to begin with and in no rush to get married and now he and I are in the opposite places. If you reply, I thank you SO MUCH for taking the time to do so! Have a great day.


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## Mr Blunt (Jul 18, 2012)

He was not convinced that you wanted him and loved him 100%. He called off the wedding and you became resentful and a nag. You tried force by packing your bags but it was a bluff, backfired, and he called you on it.

*You are going to have to build yourself up so that you can get to the point that you can let him go if that is what he wants.* No more resentment, no more nagging, no more bluffs, you just have to get stronger within yourself and treat him and yourself with tons of respect.

This is no guarantee but a good man always respects a woman that has good self esteem and self respect, committed and decisive, is kind, caring, and will not suck the emotional life out of a man.

* If this is a good man and he really had deep affection for you he will respond to you if you are what I described above*


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Focus on getting your relationship right rather than focusing on getting married.

Marriage does not, will not and cannot improve a relationship that isn't already robust, loving and healthy.


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

If your man does not want to marry you, move on.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

yep, put this one to bed.

start by moving out and being yourself again.

make sure you create healthy boundries in your next relationship. don't let anybody rush you into anything!


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## arked (Mar 2, 2013)

I say move on this does not sound like anything healthy.


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

Now that the relationship is settling down, talk to him and see if he wants to stay engaged or if he wants to break up. Then you could see if you are wasting your time or if you can improve the relationship.


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## sda (Jun 15, 2013)

Thanks everyone for replies…I like mrblunt and harrybrown responses, because since I actually want to make this work..they seem constructive. It's been almost a solid month of me being super serene, calm, loving, taking good care of him, minding my own life and not bothering him and he seems to be responding well and warming up to me. So I need to make sure I never lose my **** again and just keep it up right. I mean to "erase" my crazy behavior over the period of months that I made him suffer through…this will take at least that much time of investment on my part right?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Deejo said:


> Focus on getting your relationship right rather than focusing on getting married.
> 
> Marriage does not, will not and cannot improve a relationship that isn't already robust, loving and healthy.


:iagree::iagree::iagree:


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