# Ladies, how to handle situation?



## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

I own a townhouse facing the sidewalk / city street.

Our neighboring complex has an owner with two toddlers.

When she walks on by my unit on the sidewalk, she allows her toddlers to walk up into my bushes and area, about 25% of the way in my area.

This is not city property.

This is my property.

I have talked with her when we bump into each other and she is really nice and loves the bushes, their colors and how she tells her complex how good my unit looks.

Am I over reacting about her letting the toddlers 25% into my area off the sidewalk to check out my colorful bushes and plants?

I assume as the toddlers get older, they won't go in my area anymore and its more a curiousity phase than anything else?

Ladies perspective on how to approach the situation the next time it happens because it seems to be getting worse and further in my area and she just stands there watching.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Might need some more info here. Are you asking us how to stop 2 little kids from exploring the world? If so, why?


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## RainbowBrite (Dec 30, 2015)

CuddleBug said:


> I own a townhouse facing the sidewalk / city street.
> 
> Our neighboring complex has an owner with two toddlers.
> 
> ...


Unless her toddlers are somehow destroying your property, then yes, you are overreacting if you object to them toddling over your lawn to look at your pretty bushes.


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## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Fitnessfan (Nov 18, 2014)

I think you will feel better about yourself if you stop worrying about toddlers walking on your property. It really doesn't matter and if you allow yourself to let these little things that bother you slide, you will live a much happier life.


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

Ha ha ha someone beat me to it - yeah this is definitely a "git off ma lawwwwn!" Moment. Take a chill pill and just ask mom to wear a tshirt without a bra and yoga pants and the kids can stay as long as they want . Better to be an old horn dog as opposed to a grouch. Plus it will either get the kids off the lawn for good or a nice show for you every day. Win/win


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

I see your points. Love the pic.

I don't think I'm over reacting considering my friends and I don't wander in her area when walking on by her unit.....and then make excuses.

Its like dog owners allowing their dog "baby" to do its business on a lawn and you can't get mad at the dog or dog owner. It's just doing its business on your lawn after all....

I've seen many families walk on by our area and none of them allow their kids to wander in my area, none. So why is this lady so special???

To me its respect. This is not her property or a playground for her kids. In fact, 5 minutes walk away there is a huge open area for kids at the local university and elementary school with kids playground equipment.


I'll leave it be but if the kids explore any further in my area, I will be going out to this lady putting a stop to it. She didn't spend years and thousands $$$$ planting and growing all the bushes under my pine trees. Walking on by looking is fine. Allowing kids to purposely wander into my area and she just stands there doing nothing is a bad parent.

Having kids is no excuse and same for dog owners.


If I had kids, I wouldn't allow them to wander on owners lawns, yards and areas because its not my property and I'm disrespecting these owners. I'd teach my kids discipline and respect.


Kids will be kids and will do whatever they want, good or bad, unless the parent(s) watch over and discipline them.


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## RainbowBrite (Dec 30, 2015)

CuddleBug said:


> If I had kids, I wouldn't allow them to wander on owners lawns, yards and areas because its not my property and I'm disrespecting these owners. I'd teach my kids discipline and respect.
> 
> 
> Kids will be kids and will do whatever they want, good or bad, unless the parent(s) watch over and discipline them.



These are toddlers, not teenagers drinking beer under your pine trees..

You really don't want to be that guy. If you overreact you will become that guy and then everyone in the neighbourhood will be making a sport out of irritating the he!! out of you. Seriously.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

I totally hear what you're saying and no, I won't be that guy.


But, I am the owner, she is not.

I spent thousands getting my area landscaped, she spent $0

This is my property after all, I own it, pay taxes on it. She doesn't own it or pay taxes on it and its not hers.


I will leave it be and take everyone's advice but if it gets worse, I will be going out to talk with this lady at that point. Trespass is trespass, doesn't matter if its kids, pets or teenagers.


When I was a kid, my parents didn't let me wander into people's areas. My wife's sister's family with kids doesn't do it either. It's just this one lady and no one else that walks on by.


She has done this to other properties in our area as well. Kids wander into everything, everywhere and no restraint on her part but not a single other family I've seen does this.


Undisciplined bad parenting, no worse than a bad dog owner.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Just tell her your yard is loaded with harmful pesticides and chemicals that are poisonous. She'll keep the kids away... 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

So is she letting her kids wreck your garden? Sorry if I missed that.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

All this pent up rage just underneath the nice Canadian exterior.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

When I was growing up, we lived in a new subdivision with lots and lots of kids. We ran all over the place, in people's back yards, over fences, behind garages, etc. There was one man on the block who got very upset if we touched any part of his property, even with a ball that went astray. He came out with a gun occasionally.

We knew not to step on his lawn. We stayed away, but thought he was over the top. Older kids tormented him by ringing his doorbell and running away.

I don't think you want to be that guy by actually making a big deal of it. How about a fencing of some kind or a natural barrier that would make it clear that you don't want trespassers? I lived in Germany for a long time and the Germans wouldn't tolerate anyone putting a toe on their property. The parks are covered with signs forbidding any 'walking on the grass.' There were fences and signs everywhere. You could try that, I suppose.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Surely you can figure out a way to keep toddlers off your lawn. Just put up a small sign that says "keep your little hell spawn toddler freaks off my lawn.
She will figure it out. 😋👍
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Its just that I've spent thousands $$$$ over the many years and planted over 15 acidic tolerant bushes under my 3 pine trees that took 3 years to really take to the area and grow. A real pain to do trust me and expensive and now its finally done. To see kids running in there, getting into stuff doesn't sit well with me.

This lady is very nice, no issues but she needs to restrain her kids instead of just standing there, doh doh. It's like a dog owner just watching their dog do its business on someones lawn, doh doh.

I guess if I wasn't an ex landscaper, I wouldn't really care to be honest.

It's the crazy Canadian in me, EH? :grin2:

If her kids wander any further in my area, I will go to talk with her saying, please keep your kids out of my bushes and area, thx. I won't freak out but she will be told its not okay anymore.

No one else does this, so she isn't any different.

I don't hate kids, quite the opposite. I buy all the latest lego games for my wife's sister, pre orders as surprises. Their son adores me and wants me over to play lego all the time.

And its not the lawn. It's the acidic tolerant expensive bushes that took 10 years to grow.


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## Fitnessfan (Nov 18, 2014)

CuddleBug said:


> Its just that I've spent thousands $$$$ over the many years and planted over 15 acidic tolerant bushes under my 3 pine trees that took 3 years to really take to the area and grow. A real pain to do trust me and expensive and now its finally done. To see kids running in there, getting into stuff doesn't sit well with me.
> 
> This lady is very nice, no issues but she needs to restrain her kids instead of just standing there, doh doh. It's like a dog owner just watching their dog do its business on someones lawn, doh doh.
> 
> ...


Oh come on!!! Do you really think toddlers running around in there are going to kill those bushes?? Seriously sounds like you have massive control issues. We are talking toddlers here!!


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## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

Man, you guys go nuts when there is no playoff hockey. Need one of these teams to pick it up next year!


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

You do come across as a little neurotic about this issue, OP. Sorry.  

However, simply telling the mother that you use pesticides that might be dangerous for small children should be plenty to have her keep the children away from your lawn. Don't be nasty about it, and don't frame it as a "this is MY space" issue. Just next time you see them out there, wander out and say "Hey, just wanted to give you a heads up that I've had to switch to a different care regimen for the landscaping. The new stuff can be toxic to small kids, so you might want to keep them away from the shrubs/lawn so they don't get anything on their hands, clothes, or shoes. If they do, they'll need to be washed really well so they don't get anything into their mouths, eyes or noses. Thanks!" Then smile in a friendly manner and go back to what you were doing. 

Most moms of small kids will do anything to avoid creating more work for themselves. And managing to keep toddlers' hands away from their faces and having to wash them and their clothes/shoes more is extra work. Besides, most parents are going to naturally shy away from the idea of poisoning their kids.


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## thefam (Sep 9, 2014)

I have a completely different take on this. I would never allow my kids to encroach on someone else's property. I think it's highly disrespectful. I dislike the parenting mentality that one's kids are such special little snowflakes that they get to do whatever they want to do whenever they want to do it.

My 2 year old is a wild child who LOVES LOVES LOVES the outdoors and nature and she can run around as freely as she wants in our partially wooded lot. But I am teaching her that when we are away from home she needs permission to run free and there are consequences when she runs wild without the go ahead from me. Of course she's not there yet but that's why Young children have parents to gently steer them in the way they should go.

That being said I would not be angry with the kids but irritated with the mother. I think I would say something to the kids like "ask your Mommy if it's okay and I you can pick some flowers" as a friendly way to let her know that exploring is ok but permission is needed first.


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

It's tough because it kind of depends what the culture in your neighborhood is. Maybe other people wander in and out of each other's back yards. Can you put up a fence if you're so anti anyone coming on your lawn or near your fancy bushes? I have a toddler and wouldn't let him go on someone else's lawn unless invited. But it is tough, now that you have allowed it and not politely told them the lawn has just been reseeded or whatever, to suddenly turn around and tell them it's not ok anymore. Think about a fence if it really bothers you this much.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

thefam said:


> I have a completely different take on this. I would never allow my kids to encroach on someone else's property. I think it's highly disrespectful. I dislike the parenting mentality that one's kids are such special little snowflakes that they get to do whatever they want to do whenever they want to do it.
> 
> My 2 year old is a wild child who LOVES LOVES LOVES the outdoors and nature and she can run around as freely as she wants in our partially wooded lot. But I am teaching her that when we are away from home she needs permission to run free and there are consequences when she runs wild without the go ahead from me. Of course she's not there yet but that's why Young children have parents to gently steer them in the way they should go.
> 
> That being said I would not be angry with the kids but irritated with the mother. I think I would say something to the kids like "ask your Mommy if it's okay and I you can pick some flowers" as a friendly way to let her know that exploring is ok but permission is needed first.


I agree completely. This is an issue of respect that not suprisingly the parents are failing to teach. Kids love to explore but need to learn that the entire world is not free reign. I had kids climbing my front tree one day and they ended up killing it. it was still to young and couldn't support thier weight. When i took them to their parents the parents couldn't give a **** less. Really felt bad for the kids cause I knew the Apple didn't fall far from the tree.


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## stephscarlett (Sep 2, 2015)

Seriously, I cannot think of a more beautiful sight then a toddler exploring and looking and touching flowers. That's how they figure out how the world works. I would be honored if a couple littles ended up in my yard and looked at my flowers. It's precious, to me.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

I honestly think everyone has their "thing" that is theirs and they enjoy it, and would be really hurt if it got destroyed. I don't think the toddlers are currently destroying the property, but you never know what could happen. I've never allowed my children to wander onto other people's property. If they start to wander away from me, all we have to do is whistle and with that feint sound, they know they need to stop. They are children. I am the parent. I'm supposed to be teaching them to respect people, places, and things. If the OP doesn't want people on his lawn, his neighbor needs to respect that. It's not up to us to decide if he's wrong or not. We can't possibly judge that. It's what HE wants for what HE built. It doesn't matter that it's his yard, it could be anything...my H's is his motorcycle. If anyone remotely comes close to touching the thing, you would think the world was going to end. 

I really dislike it when people pass by my house (that I'm renting on a military base) and allow their dogs to take a nice hot crap in my front yard. It's not mine, I didn't spend money landscaping it (I guess technically, I pay for landscaping in my rent) but I still have to clean it up after they are long gone. It's disrespectful, and you wouldn't believe how often it happens...we're talking almost daily (or nightly as I can't seem to catch them during the day).

I completely understand having spent so much money on landscaping that the OP would consider his yard...valuable to him. Technically, it is. Naturally, he's not going to want to see anything/anyone possibly destruct what he's put good hard cash into. 

OP, have you considered a small fence for the front yard? Is it even possible to put one up? If not, just take her aside and try to be as nice as possible about it. You shouldn't have to allow something to happen if you're not comfortable with it. She is probably not going to like it, but what can you do other than allow it to continue?


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

CuddleBug said:


> I own a townhouse facing the sidewalk / city street.
> 
> Our neighboring complex has an owner with two toddlers.
> 
> ...


If it makes you feel better, I live on 24 acres and had the place completely fenced in because I did not want anyone wondering onto my property. No matter how small or how big, it's all the same. You want people to respect YOUR property, because, well, it's yours. Whatever you do, people will think you're being selfish and crazy weird. I personally don't care what people think and will tell them point blank to stay off my property. To avoid any and all issues with this, I moved to the middle of nowhere. Even then, I have one neighbor who is a big pain in the asss and hates me. Called me a hermit to my face. I just laugh.

Do what you want to do. You are within your rights. However, be ready to be called many negative things behind your back if you draw any sort of line.
Your choice.

Edit: I have gotten soft in my old age. I let this old guys lab crap on my front entrance. I'm such a nice guy, now


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

I'd be direct and honest. "These bushes are a special type and it took me 10 years to get them established. I know if you realized that you'd keep the kids out of there. Plus I use chemicals that could be harmful and I don't want anyone hurt. Can you watch the kids going forward?i'd appreciate it." And smile - maybe even offer some small suckers while you tell her so she knows it's cordial but a respectful request.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

CuddleBug said:


> Its just that I've spent thousands $$$$ over the many years and planted over 15 acidic tolerant bushes under my 3 pine trees that took 3 years to really take to the area and grow. A real pain to do trust me and expensive and now its finally done. To see kids running in there, getting into stuff doesn't sit well with me.
> 
> This lady is very nice, no issues but she needs to restrain her kids instead of just standing there, doh doh. It's like a dog owner just watching their dog do its business on someones lawn, doh doh.
> 
> ...


Tell her what you said here. It sounds reasonable to want to protect an investment in something that is hard won. Start by saying something nice about her children and your appreciation of their admiration.

Not many people know how difficult it is to grow anything under pine trees, so tell her. Let her know they are delicate because the root system in just below the surface. If damaged then no more nice bushes to look at.

She is not purposely invading your space, she is allowing her children to roam and satisfy their curiosity. That's a good thing but they don't need to do it by a close up examination of your bushes. 

Don't let her think that you don't like her children. Think of how your attitude to this family will appear to your neighbors.


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

TheTruthHurts said:


> I'd be direct and honest. "These bushes are a special type and it took me 10 years to get them established. I know if you realized that you'd keep the kids out of there. Plus I use chemicals that could be harmful and I don't want anyone hurt. Can you watch the kids going forward?i'd appreciate it." And smile - maybe even offer some small suckers while you tell her so she knows it's cordial but a respectful request.


Lady will smile, go home and tell the neighbors and her husband that this "lady just told me to stay off her bushes. What a biatch! Don't let the kids eat the suckers. She probably put some poison on them! Can you believe these people!"
You can be as nice as pie. When you draw a line, ANY line, people will get pissed. That's how the cookie crumbles. 

Even if you get away from it all like I did, if you draw a line, you're labeled a nut job. A week after I moved on to my farm a neighbor asked to ride his atv on my property. I said "no." From that point on I was labeled a "hermit" and a "weirdo." Whatever


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

oops


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

thefam said:


> I have a completely different take on this. I would never allow my kids to encroach on someone else's property. I think it's highly disrespectful. I dislike the parenting mentality that one's kids are such special little snowflakes that they get to do whatever they want to do whenever they want to do it.
> 
> My 2 year old is a wild child who LOVES LOVES LOVES the outdoors and nature and she can run around as freely as she wants in our partially wooded lot. But I am teaching her that when we are away from home she needs permission to run free and there are consequences when she runs wild without the go ahead from me. Of course she's not there yet but that's why Young children have parents to gently steer them in the way they should go.
> 
> That being said I would not be angry with the kids but irritated with the mother. I think I would say something to the kids like "ask your Mommy if it's okay and I you can pick some flowers" as a friendly way to let her know that exploring is ok but permission is needed first.



This is what I'm talking about. Too bad more people aren't responsible with their kids, pets, etc. like you are.:smile2::smile2::smile2:


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

If parents today, like here and elsewhere, raised their kids to be respectful of other peoples properties, look but don't wander into and touch, there would be no issues.


Again, who owns the property? I do. Not her or her kids.


Is my property a kids play thing? No. There are big open fields and toys at the local elementary school for all that.


Does this lady pay my taxes for my property? No. I do.


Does this lady pay my landscaping upgrades over the years? No, I do.



So what right does this lady with her kids have wandering in my property when it suits them? None.


Is comes down to respect. Do you respect other peoples properties? I guess in this thread, the answer is no.


If you did respect other people properties, you would watch and teach your kids that they can't go wandering and into other people areas at a wim.

Bad disrespectful parenting.


I've seen the same thing with many dog owners. Their dog can do whatever it wants and the owners just stand there.....doh doh.

Bad disrespectful dog owner.


If I had kids or dogs, I would never let them do their business on someones plants and lawns and I would never let them wander in other peoples properties either. It's disrespectful.


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## Forever27 (Mar 15, 2015)

I don't like to admit this, but I kind of understand your stance. It probably sounds cliche, but I was this way before I had kids (kind of later in life). I would have thought they were a huge bother being in my yard regardless of what they were doing.

As long as they don't pee in your yard like the dogs, I would just try to remind myself they 
(the kids, not necessarily the dogs) are pretty special to God and let them be.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Forever27 said:


> I don't like to admit this, but I kind of understand your stance. It probably sounds cliche, but I was this way before I had kids (kind of later in life). I would have thought they were a huge bother being in my yard regardless of what they were doing.
> 
> As long as they don't pee in your yard like the dogs, I would just try to remind myself they
> (the kids, not necessarily the dogs) are pretty special to God and let them be.



I agree with what you're saying. I do.


But at the same time, no one has the right to do whatever in someone else's property because its not theirs to begin with.

It comes down to respect and proper parenting.

Would it be okay for a kid, pet, teenager or adult to wander in someone else's property? No.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

CuddleBug said:


> Am I over reacting about her letting the toddlers 25% into my area off the sidewalk to check out my colorful bushes and plants?


Well, everyone has different things that bother them so I don't want to say "over reacting" because it's your lawn and if it bugs you it bugs you.

But I am a bit perplexed by it. What bugs you about it?

It sounds like you have not said anything to her about it, which makes me think you don't really want to. 

If that's so, I would try shifting my perspective from whatever it is that bothers you about it to "Wow, isn't it great that people like my bushes! How cool must they seem to these curious, joyful little kids! You're welcome, neighborhood! You're welcome!"

I also think that while it's technically not "right" for someone else to walk on your property, it's probably unrealistic to live in such close proximity to others and not have your property line crossed at times. So I would either tell her "please enjoy my bushes from the sidewalk" or find a way to embrace it in your mind.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

I have a child and dogs, and I would never allow them to wander onto someone else's property. But I also wouldn't bat an eyelid if some little toddlers thought my garden was pretty and wanted to come in and have a look. I really wouldn't. 

OP - you don't want to become the neighbourhood joke, which you will if you push this. Use the "I use poison and pesticides there and I'm worried the kids might get sick" suggestion above, if it's that much of a big deal, but if you say anything else, no matter how nicely, you'll become *that* neighbour.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

I love the suggestions. I will tell her the next time that I spray my bushes with pesticides that are strong. Kids shouldn't be touching it. I'm sure she'd stop her kids from going through them from that point. That's a brilliant idea.

What floors me, some parents let their kids or pets do whatever and where ever. That is obviously wrong. Kids and pets don't know any better but the parents do.

I've replaced all my bushes under the pine trees, costing me a lot of money and time over the last 10 years. Many had to be replaced 2x because they just didn't take.

Pine trees stunt growth, so it took 10+ years to get all my bushes to the size they are now. A lot of watering, fertilizing and pampering. Now they look great and I've had many look at them and come up and compliment me.

What bugs me are parents who don't respect other people's properties. Meaning, I own it, paid for it, landscaped it.

Does anyone have a right to wander in my area at a wim? NO. Unless I invited them as a friend or they own the property, they have zero rights to be in it because its not theirs.

That's what gets me. Parents who think they can do whatever in other people's properties and see nothing wrong with it. Really?!

Talk about being disrespectful and trespassing.

Some people have common sense and some do not.

I shouldn't have to make excuses and defend my property. That's ridiculous.

My parents raised me to be respectful of everyone and do unto other as they do unto you. I highly doubt this lady would appreciate it myself and my friends walked into her area whenever it suited us.....

Doesn't matter if its kids, pets, teenagers, or adults.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

OP, this is easy. You have a right to ask them not to use your property. 
Just tell her you are super-particular and while it might seem as though you are nit-picking, that it's causing a lot of stress for you and you don't want to dislike her or continuing being upset by her and her kids because she's your neighbor and you have a lot of years in front of you being neighbors. Thank her for her consideration and just re-emphasize how much it's been bothering you that her kids wander onto your property. Explain to her that it's in your right to ask her not to use your property as her own and you hope that asking once will be enough, because it's not something you can continue to tolerate. Tell her you've been stressed just thinking up a good way to approach her about it. Don't grovel, but just say to her, it will be a huge relief to just be able to wave to you when I see you and not harbor these resentful feelings I've had about your kids wandering onto my property. 

If she does it again, feel free to go out and be a little bit apesh*t, but don't scare or hurt the kids. Just allow yourself to be as pissed as you feel, given that it seems to be within reason. 

Your yard is too toddler friendly. It needs a resident troll.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

I like this lady and when we see each other, we chat. That isn't the issue.

She just doesn't restrain her kids and they go and do whatever, where ever and she just stands there and watches. That's the problem.

Similar to dog owners with leash in hand and don't restrain their dog, just watching and standing.

Advice taken.

I need a resident troll? hehehehhe....love it.:grin2:


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## bravenewworld (Mar 24, 2013)

Okay wait I'm confused, are dog owners not supposed to allow dogs to pee/poop on lawns when on a walk? 

Maybe I'm way more easy-going than I thought, because I could care less as long as they pick it up after. It's a lawn - not a mausoleum. 

Seems like a fence would be in order if you don't want anyone on your property.


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

bravenewworld said:


> Okay wait I'm confused, are dog owners not supposed to allow dogs to pee/poop on lawns when on a walk?
> 
> Maybe I'm way more easy-going than I thought, because I could care less as long as they pick it up after. It's a lawn - not a mausoleum.
> 
> Seems like a fence would be in order if you don't want anyone on your property.


NO NO NO NO NO NO!

Kids play there and roll around - you wants them to roll around in dog sh1t? 

At best you let the dog crap in a park near the street - in the US between the sidewalk and street - which is community property.

NEVER crap on private party. Any more than having sex and leaving a used condom there.


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## Hopeful Cynic (Apr 27, 2014)

Forget dealing with the mother. It's far too late to teach her respect for other people's property. She obviously feels entitled to do whatever she wants (how young is she? hehe).

Deal directly with the children. Get down on their level and tell them that walking on other people's property without asking if it's okay first is not allowed. If they then ask you if it's okay, you tell them that you need to supervise them, and that you don't have time to do that right now. Say goodbye and wave them along. If you do have time to stand out there a bit, you can teach them to look but not touch, stay on the lawn and not in the beds, etc. Then wave them along.

The children will eventually learn to ask first, even if the mom isn't teaching them herself.

Of course, if you find out she's still allowing it when you aren't home or don't notice them, different action might be necessary.

But I do not think there's anything wrong with expecting people of any age not to trespass on your property. Regardless of how much work you put into it, or if it's just plain boring dying grass.


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

Put a chair under the tree, dress like a scary clown, and just sit still the next time they walk by


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## bravenewworld (Mar 24, 2013)

TheTruthHurts said:


> NO NO NO NO NO NO!
> 
> Kids play there and roll around - you wants them to roll around in dog sh1t?
> 
> ...


Let's be real, kids roll around in worse. You think there isn't dog/cat/coyote/whatever pee and poop on pretty much any outdoor surface?

I'm not being antagonistic, it just never occurred to me an animal shouldn't go to the bathroom on plain ole grass unless it was set up like a fancy Japanese tea garden arrangement. 

Was chatting with my neighbor this AM and her dog pooped on my lawn while we were talking. She picked it up with a baggie and I hit the spot with the hose. Problem solved. 

Guess I'm just simple like that.


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

I actually am pretty sure all surfaces aren't covered in sh1t. That's what public areas are for. You mean your neighbors dog crapped on your lawn? Not the parkway? I'd kick the dog before he was done sh1tting, personally. Literally no one does that in my neighborhood. We also have this silly "poo free parks" campaign where free poo bags are available so at least the crap isn't left behind. It's funded by a local citizens group.

We don't have poo filled yards, but then again we have narry a double-wide in sight . (In case you don't know what a double-wide is, Google tornado magnet).


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## bkyln309 (Feb 1, 2015)

Cant wait until these toddlers grow into kids and realize Mr GrumpyPants CuddleBug is just a stickler. You are going to find your beloved bushes and trees or maybe flowers picked as a joke on the neighborhood grump. Not saying it is right but that is what is going to happen.

Look Trees and bushes have withstood kids and toddlers for generations. Relax its a bush. Its grass. It all grows back. Doesnt sound like they are being destructive. Just chill out. Your lawn will survive. My dad had the prettiest yard in the neighborhood and we were the house with all the kids over all the time. As the kids grew, they all knew the areas for play and left the other areas alone. Now for the mean people in the neighborhood, it was a different story.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
My thought: Ignore (or at least don't make any mention of the $$$$). Instead let her know that these are rare and slow growing plants. That you love to see her kids play, but that you love plants and hate to see them damaged. Maybe if she could show her children how to be gentle with living things so as not to hurt them.

Basically make it about not harming living growing things, as opposed to not harming *your* things.

Or shouting "get off my lawn" works too. Or planting some poison oak in the area....





CuddleBug said:


> Its just that I've spent thousands $$$$ over the many years and planted over 15 acidic tolerant bushes under my 3 pine trees that took 3 years to really take to the area and grow. A real pain to do trust me and expensive and now its finally done. To see kids running in there, getting into stuff doesn't sit well with me.
> 
> This lady is very nice, no issues but she needs to restrain her kids instead of just standing there, doh doh. It's like a dog owner just watching their dog do its business on someones lawn, doh doh.
> 
> ...


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## Brandy905 (Apr 3, 2014)

We have dogs and just try stopping a dog from going when they have to go. Just clean up after them. How can people say their lawns are clean of animal waste? Do the squirrels, chipmunks, raccoons and birds know not to go to the bathroom on your lawn?


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

TheTruthHurts said:


> I'd kick the dog before he was done sh1tting, personally.


You're going to get bitten or cited for animal cruelty, either would be well deserved.


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

Red Sonja said:


> TheTruthHurts said:
> 
> 
> > I'd kick the dog before he was done sh1tting, personally.
> ...


Doubt it.

My BIL was in a park running and some fool let their dog run without a leash and he yelled "control your dog!" A few times to no avail. The dog ran up to him and he kicked it in the snout and killed it. He wasn't going to risk getting bitten.

Any dog on my small piece of property that isn't mine is at risk and I am protected by law.


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

TheTruthHurts said:


> Doubt it.
> 
> My BIL was in a park running and some fool let their dog run without a leash and he yelled "control your dog!" A few times to no avail. The dog ran up to him and he kicked it in the snout and killed it. He wasn't going to risk getting bitten.
> 
> Any dog on my small piece of property that isn't mine is at risk and I am protected by law.


This is sad for me to hear, I work everyday in animal rescue and unfortunately encounter people with this type of attitude. It sickens me, it's as if part of your soul is missing.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

Legit question, but if you are that particular about the landscaping and want a private space you don't want others to have any access to, why don't you have a private house?

I guess this is tough for me to grasp because townhouses around here are basically classy apartments, I've never known a complex that would let you do that level of landscaping. IE - that most townhouses don't consider the lawn the property of the townhouse, but the property of the complex itself. So ... I don't know, myself, I'd double check where I stood on that point legally before threatening anyone.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Starstarfish said:


> Legit question, but if you are that particular about the landscaping and want a private space you don't want others to have any access to, why don't you have a private house?
> 
> I guess this is tough for me to grasp because townhouses around here are basically classy apartments, I've never known a complex that would let you do that level of landscaping.* IE - that most townhouses don't consider the lawn the property of the townhouse,* but the property of the complex itself. So ... I don't know, myself, I'd double check where I stood on that point legally before threatening anyone.


My sister owned a townhouse. It was an end of terrace so she owned the land on three sides of the property.

Starfish, why do you doubt her understanding of what she owns?

Cuddlebug, just remember, people will be more generous with some one else's resources. So those who have said here that they really don't care -- in cyberspace -- may feel differently when it's about them.

If you warn the mother about pesticides, I would put that in writing, preferably by e-mail and cc' it to a third party, the housing association, the local police maybe. You don't want her "forgetting" that you warned her when her kids turn up sick ...... even for some other reason and she is looking for someone to blame.

Perhaps the other thing to do is when they come by and you have time, you go outside and help them move along.

any other nieghbor is going to tell you what you can do on their property and you will comply. why can't you do the same?

I wonder how persnickety this woman is with her own property?


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Red Sonja said:


> This is sad for me to hear, I work everyday in animal rescue and unfortunately encounter people with this type of attitude. It sickens me, it's as if part of your soul is missing.


I think that there is a balance. Kicking a dog for merely being on your property is bad. But having a dog chase you on public property is scary. A friend of mine at work was badly bitten while out running. It was very, very scary for her.

I know that I don't let my dogs anywhere near other people without my being in complete control. I don't THINK they would do anything.I THINK they are just barking. But one cannot be sure. If a dog is going to chase and has not been proven to be able to obey recall, they should not be free.


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

Red Sonja said:


> TheTruthHurts said:
> 
> 
> > Doubt it.
> ...


It's also possible instead that you have something "extra" in your makeup that you believe is part of your soul where you humanize things and animals around you. It's actually pretty common IMHO and starts with little girls (and boys) embuing stuffed animals with all kinds of human traits and aspects of personality. I believe it is modeled behavior.

I eat animals mostly. I am not purposely mean to them but I don't think they have personalities - even my own golden doodle. She eats, sniffs, likes to feel part of a pack and know her place through our control and actions (including petting), and she sleeps a lot. She responds to hit and cold and objects - but really only wants to eat or chew them. My family makes all kinds of assumptions about these predictable animal behaviors, and is genuinely surprised every day when she does some instinctive animal behavior - like chewing up homework left on the floor - as though this makes her a "bad dog", or her pouncing on you sniffing for food means she "loves" you. Quite humorous really and harmless... but not real.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Dog owners are to always cleanup after their dogs, poo bag and water the urinated areas, so lawns and bushes don't go yellow and die.

Dog owners are responsible for their dogs and that means not allowing them on others properties, standing with leash in hand and doing nothing, looking around........

I have also seen dog owners walking their dog, leash in hand, but the dog isn't on leash!!!


Last time I saw this lady with her kids, they didn't wander through my bushes. They walked up to them and left with the lady. I'm cool with that and didn't say or do anything.

Thing is, I have never wandered into anyone's property and getting into their bushes and plants. It's just an unspoken rule and respect.


Some people think they don't have to respect other people's properties and use their kids and dogs as excuses.


If an owners dog, that's not on a leash, ran up to me, almost attacking me, I would kick the punch the dog hard!!!! City by law, pets on leash. Strata by law pets on leash.....


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

TheTruthHurts said:


> It's also possible instead that you have something "extra" in your makeup that you believe is part of your soul where you humanize things and animals around you. It's actually pretty common IMHO and starts with little girls (and boys) embuing stuffed animals with all kinds of human traits and aspects of personality. I believe it is modeled behavior.


Nope, I am a dog trainer and behaviorist with 25 years experience, I train police dogs, protection dogs, service dogs, sport dogs, rehabilitate abused dogs and fix all sorts of behavior problems caused by humans.

To humanize and treat dogs like children is a sure way to make them neurotic.

*I stand by what I said, if a dog approaches you (or your property) in a non-threatening manner and you kill it then YOU are not humane.* And, certainly not a person I want to associate with.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

In a city, dogs are to be on a leash, city by law. So if the dog is wandering in your property, not on a leash, too bad for the owner. Of course if the dog is friendly, I'd play and pet it, but if its aggressive, the dog gets a kick and punch to its face and body really fast.


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## bravenewworld (Mar 24, 2013)

Red Sonja said:


> *I stand by what I said, if a dog approaches you (or your property) in a non-threatening manner and you kill it then YOU are not humane.* And, certainly not a person I want to associate with.


This x1000. As a kid we had a sweet, lazy cat that used to sleep on our fence. One of our neighbors took great delight in shooting it with a bb gun one day for no apparent reason. People like that are seriously sick.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

I said it wasn't something I'd heard of and recommended making sure where I stood, because if said lady perceives something that gets said as a threat against her or her kids and involves the association or police or whatever, I'd want to make sure where I stood if it was me.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

If a friendly dog approached my property, I would probably pet it. I like animals and I'd talk with the owner.

IF the owner allowed the dog onto my property to take a poo and pee, with leash in their hand, no restraint, I would freak and that dog would get it fast, right in front of the owner. Owner has a leash, use it!!!

On city property, I don't care but on private property, the dog is mine.:grin2:

And in the city, dogs are to be on leash. It's the city by law and owners are to clean up after their dogs, also a city by law.

These city by laws for dogs are there because of bad dog owners in the first place.


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## Imovedforthis (Dec 18, 2015)

I don't let my toddlers wander in the neighbors bushes or yards. I have never let my kids do that. Luckily on our street the houses are far back from the street and all have stairs you have to walk up to get to the house. They aren't allowed to even step on the neighbors steps! To me it just seems disrespectful to allow your children to go on a neighbors property and potentially mess up landscaping or anything else. Not saying all kids out there would mess something up... but I know my boys would lol. They could trash some plants pretty fast  
Plus you want to teach your kids not to be on others properties goofing off. I've seen way too many lawsuits with kids getting hurt on other peoples property. Not worth it. 
I let my boys get pretty wild and make all the messes they want, but on our property


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

CuddleBug said:


> If a friendly dog approached my property, I would probably pet it. I like animals and I'd talk with the owner.
> 
> IF the owner allowed the dog onto my property to take a poo and pee, with leash in their hand, no restraint, I would freak and that dog would get it fast, right in front of the owner. Owner has a leash, use it!!!
> 
> ...


Yes. Humanity and "humane" characteristics of the victim property owner are irrelevant.


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