# Teens and young adults in trouble



## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

I have a real problem with this. Where are their people? There is an 18yo posting despairing posts on Facebook. She is friended to me since she is the older sister of my daughter's friend. I have had she and Mom and my daughter's friend over for dinner a couple of times. Mom is not a bad egg. The family is ... combustible... and according to my daughter is having problems. Who lets a then 11 year old guestbe exposed to the ventilation of family problems?? I feel so bad for this kid. She has made some low grade young adult mistakes. And feels, at the ripe old age of 18, a complete failure. 

The daughter of another person we know is a mess. Young. Not old enough to drive. She is trying to recover from pot and cutting. She is trying to find SOMEONE to pay attention to her. We go out every few weeks. I hope just listening without judgement may be of some use to her. God help me when she dumps something on me I have to tell her mother. Her brothers are in similar unfortunate situations, but they don't want another person "helping" them. They are older.

I try to connect with people I see hurting. What I don't understand is where are their people?


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

You know the thing is just one person, taking action, could make a real difference in this girl's life. I'm like you, when I see this kind of thing I try to be that person if I can.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

I once heard from a preschool teacher that one way to spot a kid who's parents don't care is how well they color. Kids who have people involved in their lives often don't color very well because they don't spend hours doing it.

This subject hits me right in the feels, because my oldest daughter is extremely tightly wound. Very hard on herself, very fragile emotionally. Sometimes it's all we can do to keep her from going through a day without breaking down in tears. She's only 10.

Without any kind of support, I can't imagine how she'd end up.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I wouldn't read too much into what you see her posting on FB. Today's teens and young a adults live their lives "on camera" and don't know the difference between personal and private.

Personal means it's intimate information that isn't necessarily private. Personal means your family and friends are aware but perhaps not their family and friends. "I went to the dentist to get a cavity filled and had an allergic reaction." Personal, but not private.

Private means it is both personal and not something others should know unless they are intimately acquainted. "My doctor switched me from antidepressants to antipsychotics and I feel great!" Personal and private.

I have a niece who used to post all sorts of neurotic ramblings. You know the kind who updates their status with, "why me? My life just sucks! Sometimes I wonder if I should move to another country!" Which of course means everyone has to send encouraging messages...

Our kids think it's normal to upload every thought they've ever had. My guess is that your daughter's friends sister is simply living out loud.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

AP, I think there is a lot of general teenage drama and angst you have to sift through, but often it's easy enough to spot kids that are really in trouble. Cutting isn't normal teen angst.


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## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

During adolescence, there is major stress with a lot of neurological changes and hormonal changes that amplifies a lot of emotion. During this stage, parental figures have to be the judgement center for these children. They do need role models and broken records to keep reminding them. They might get annoyed, but it will sink in more the more it is reinforced.

Disorders tend to more manifest during the teenage years, so people around them have to be vigilant.

There is so much going on during these times and it is crucial for people who care to be aware of things going on in their lives. They may look more like adults, but they lack the prefrontal cortex development to match their knowledge. Basically, they lack the capacity to handle stressful situations.

Sounds like they need some therapy.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

AP My daughter is present at some of the family dynamics. Not a fan. But I am not going to tell her she can't be friends. This girl's Dad hates her.


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