# Marriage crisis?? Advice needed!!!



## jilyin16

I've been married for 13 years, I'm 38 yrs old with kids 6, and 4. I'm going through a phase where I suddenly find things about my husband un attractive. Physically. I'm struggling with this. I don't know if this is normal or not. Some days are better than others, but it clearly affects our relationship. I am looking to connect to see if others go through this? Thanks!!

Let me add that he's 43. I know we change as we age, and I think I'm seeing this now.


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## Cletus

In the context of a long term success in marriage thread, I don't have a lot of wisdom for you. Because, sooner or later, this is going to happen to you unless your spouse is one of the lucky few who won the genetic lottery. 

If these are things under your spouse's control - weight gain, unkempt, unshaven, dirty clothes - then you owe it to your marriage to have a discussion about doing his best to remain attractive to you, within the framework nature provided. That his not caring will have repercussions down the road.

If these are things over which he has little control - wrinkles, balding, sagging and aging skin, graying hair - then the only real answer is for you is to buck up and come to grips with the reality of being human. Because, believe or not, the same things are happening to you, even if you don't see them in the mirror.


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## TX-SC

Festivus said:


> In the context of a long term success in marriage thread, I don't have a lot of wisdom for you. Because, sooner or later, this is going to happen to you unless your spouse is one of the lucky few who won the genetic lottery.
> 
> If these are things under your spouse's control - weight gain, unkempt, unshaven, dirty clothes - then you owe it to your marriage to have a discussion about doing his best to remain attractive to you, within the framework nature provided. That his not caring will have repercussions down the road.
> 
> If these are things over which he has little control - wrinkles, balding, sagging and aging skin, graying hair - then the only real answer is for you is to buck up and come to grips with the reality of being human. Because, believe or not, the same things are happening to you, even if you don't see them in the mirror.


This is a very good response! If the issues with your husband are related to things he can change, then have a talk with him. If not, you need to simply understand that in our 40s and 50s we will change quite drastically from what we looked like in our 20s and 30s. It's just a part of nature and is universal.


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