# MIL babies my husband and he lets it happen



## YoungWife94

Hey all, I'm new to this site. I found it because I really feel like I need someone to talk to. I am 21, and recently married (5 months now), my hubby's mother lives with us at the moment until she can support herself and we find a place of our own. My MIL is nice for the most part but there is some thing that bothers me - she treats him like a baby. It didn't bother me much before we got married, mostly I suppose because she wasnt living with us yet. Let me illustrate the extent of the babying. When he is getting ready for work, I get his lunch ready and pack his stuff so he can get out of the house faster ( he works night shift and needs the extra time to sleep) when I wake him up for work I'm constantly hearing "you want mommy to help you get ready?" OR "you want me to get your socks?" "wear a t-shirt under your clothes, it's going to be cold outside" as if he is a baby, and doesn't know how to find his own socks or how to dress himself. This has been happening since we got married and it has annoyed me but I haven't said anything. But then came the straw that broke the donkey's back. 
Yesterday I was sick, so I couldn't do what I usually do- I usually make him food if he is hungry and it involves more than just the microwave. He got to the kitchen and immediately started crying to his mother to make him a bacon sandwich and she came swooping in to do everything for him. I suppose because I was sick and not in the best of moods, it was enough to make me say something. I told him stop acting as if you can't do it just so that one of us can do it for you, you are a grown person. And that started an argument to which my MIL said "he may be grown but he will always be my baby" I feel like it makes him lazy to do anything for himself. He doesn't even know where anything is in the house because he doesnt do stuff for himself. And my MIL doesn't see how she is setting him up to be a full time job for me when it is just the two of us living together. This babying needs to stop. But now I feel like the bad guy, as if I shouldn't have said anything at all... what should I do?


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## Starstarfish

What were the circumstances that led to her living with you? Why was she not supporting herself before? Who was supporting her? Where was she living? Or did you move in with her?

As long as you live in her house, this is pretty much how things are going to be. And I doubt your husband is going to give up this arrangement easily. He has his mother to do everything for him, and as a bonus (I assume) he gets sex. 

What's your plan for moving out?


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## YoungWife94

Thank you for your reply! She was living with another relative. The apartment belongs to both my husband and his mother. It's more like a mutually beneficial living arrangement than us just moving in with her- we pay most of the bills.
We plan to move out before the end of this year. I'm trying to cope without saying anything but it's just really annoying to see him being treated like he is helpless.


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## Starstarfish

So why did the other relative not want her to live with them anymore? Is it a condo or an apartment? 

Honestly, me living somewhere with my husband where my name wasn't on the lease/deed would bother me, personally. What happens in this situation if things get terse and they want you to leave? Do you have legal recourse if you aren't on the lease/deed? 

If it's mutually beneficial, what's the benefit to the two of you? You pay all the bills and she .... ?


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## YoungWife94

I feel confident that I am safe in the living arrangement. For personal reasons I can't be on the lease, but this is only to be a temporary situation. 
We pay the bills and... we share the apartment? I suppose it's not as mutual as I thought. We pay for most things, she really just takes care of the house (something we dont really need help with) and babies the hubby....


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## YoungWife94

Oh and It's not that the other relative didn't want her there anymore, but she agreedidn't to leave at a certain time so she left


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## Sun Catcher

Youngwife94, please don't get pregnant With this man. You and him have lots to work out before bringing a child into this world. It may be a good idea to move out to your own place sooner, rather than later.

I can't believe the stupidity of your MIL commenting when it was obvious you and your husband were having a spat. She will not stop poking her nose in unless your husband says something to her and I don't see that happening. 

If he won't move out, you move out until he comes to his senses, if he ever does. No kids, no foul.


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## YoungWife94

I completely agree with you about the kids. I wouldn't even dream of that until everything is sorted out. Don't get me wrong though, he usually get angry and tells he to stop when she comments in our argumentsystem but I suppose this time he was mad at me for suggesting that he was allowing himself to be teared like a child. I'm going to talk to him and see how we can push our plans to move out faster. I really hope I can hold my seams until we can though


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