# Hi



## CBR1206 (Dec 4, 2020)

Hi, I’m Brielle (obv not my real name). I found out my husband had an emotional affair and I pretty much don’t know what to do about it. It sucks. I’m angry, I’m sad. We’ve only been married for 2 years. Geez, isn’t this supposed to be the honeymoon phase. Anyways it’s all gone to hell....so there’s that.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

Need more info. What is your definition of an emotional affair? How'd you find out about it? What's his response?


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## CBR1206 (Dec 4, 2020)

Sfort said:


> Need more info. What is your definition of an emotional affair? How'd you find out about it? What's his response?


he carried on a months long “relationship” with a supposed old friend. Both of them telling each other “I love you”. He claims he didn’t meant it that way but what other way is there. I found out because I asked to see his phone. I had a gut feeling and was right. His response is to beg and plead for me to stay. I just need space. I have no idea what to do...


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

So HE is the one that needs to "do" something. I've heard this book is pretty good, so maybe that's a place for him to start:




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How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair: A Compact Manual for the Unfaithful: Linda J. MacDonald: 9781450553322: Amazon.com: Books


How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair: A Compact Manual for the Unfaithful [Linda J. MacDonald] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair: A Compact Manual for the Unfaithful



www.amazon.com





What are his possible reasons for doing this to you, ESPECIALLY since it is such a "young" marriage? You are correct, this should still be the honeymoon phase. Are you sure it was just and EA?

As for you, take care of yourself -- make sure you eat, sleep, get exercise, and start doing things for YOU. He should maybe go to counseling to find out HOW he allowed himself to do this and disrespect you and your marriage.

You could also expose this to his/your family -- don't let him "hide" it. He needs to own what he did and realize the damage he's done to his marriage and to YOU.

Also, please remember this -- this is NOT your fault AT ALL. The choice to cheat was 100% his.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

CBR1206 said:


> he carried on a months long “relationship” with a supposed old friend. Both of them telling each other “I love you”. He claims he didn’t meant it that way but what other way is there. I found out because I asked to see his phone. I had a gut feeling and was right. His response is to beg and plead for me to stay. I just need space. I have no idea what to do...


And you may not for some time. Promise him nothing. 

Take your time and work through whether you can accept a husband who had an affair with "I love you's" exchanged. 

As you do that, listen to nothing he says, and watch EVERYTHING he does. 

Does he seek out IC? Does he read books on affairs? Is he 100% honest with you? Does he only (rightfully) blame himself for the affair? Does he grant you access to all of his devices and accounts? Does he take initiative in transparency? All of this will tell you whether he is worth it or not. 

I'm sorry you have found yourself in this situation. 

Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk


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