# Sex and confidence



## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

The idea that some (many?) men are not confident of their sexual prowess seems to recur often, I'm curious how men actually feel about this. (apologies if this is a repeat poll).

For people who are not confident, what is it that worries you. Physical appearance? Skill? Endowment? Stamina? Something else? 

For women, are men lacking confidence about the wrong things?

Is male insecurity real, or is it part of a marketing ploy for pickup trucks with over-sized tires?


----------



## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

richardsharpe said:


> The idea that some (many?) men are not confident of their sexual prowess seems to recur often, I'm curious how men actually feel about this. (apologies if this is a repeat poll).
> 
> For people who are not confident, what is it that worries you. Physical appearance? Skill? Endowment? Stamina? Something else?
> 
> ...


I took the top one I know I'm good. Not because of any super secret sexual technique I have but rather the other abilities I have which is communication and listening. I talk to my partners about thier wants and needs. When they answer I listen. To know that something drives a woman over the top is a huge huge turn on. For my GF it's oral. So for me it is too. So long as the chemistry is right two people can have incredible sex so long as they are willing to give, communicate about wants/needs and listen to thier partners.


----------



## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

Im pretty good.
Aside from being studied in human sexual relations as part of my degree, I also am an enthusiastic lover, listen carefully and (like Wolf) I am VERY vested in being the best cunning linguist I can be 

Yes, male confidence is real. I know a few men who are seriously underconfident and it effects them negatively. Expect more of it as the media campaigns continue to bear down on men and women alike.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I am confident bordering on arrogance. But I do pay attention to a woman and her needs.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Flying_Dutchman (Oct 29, 2014)

I get new partner jitters, simply because I've not yet learned what she likes. But, I get confidence from knowing I can adapt/learn what she likes and do it,, providing it's not too out there.

You're only as good as your last partner.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

richardsharpe said:


> For people who are not confident, what is it that worries you. Physical appearance? Skill? Endowment? Stamina? Something else?


Yes.


----------



## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

Fozzy said:


> Yes.


For Fozzy, it's his stage act...:rofl:


----------



## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

I never had an issue for 25 years of marriage. Four years ago I could say that intimacy and sex had continued to get only more incredible and sometimes we would just look at each other afterwards and comment on how good things were. 

Where it went wrong I cannot say but here is a list of the issues I believe led us to where we are today which sucks to say the least:

1. Began sleeping separately. We both snore and I am a really light sleeper. She was not getting enough sleep and has a stressful job. (I thought I was doing everyone a favor by doing this.

2. Lost my earning power and was underemployed for a couple of years and just finally getting back on track. I had no idea how much this would effect our relationship. Nothing else needs to be said. The cause and effects of this are well documented on this site.

3. While she was ever upwardly mobile I noticed that I was not included in any part of her professional life (external work events). I believe she was embarrassed by me.

4. Her emotional connections at work (with women) appeared to take precedent over anything in our life.

5. She became very engrossed in female erotica ( 50 shades, spanking sites etc) and the more she read the less intimate we became.

6. This all led to some ED issues and a severe lack of confidence. This only made here look at me more critically. Looking back here attitude toward me when she brought this up to me made me feel like crap. I was stunned and in disbelief how it unfolded.

7. Since the VAR placement I have heard her tell her best friend that though she likes sex she is content not to have it. She also confided in her that she does not need me.

8. I do not initiate any longer. I do not want any kind of further rejection. When she initiates it is only after she has been viewing porn.

FML - i guess that describes how I feel.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

RClawson.... Ouch!

Is there any great reason to stay with her, despite your years? I would probably laugh at her and tell her she needed a spanking. I would then proceed to give her one until her attitude changed. If she was too stubborn to change, I would dump her stupid ass and find greener pastures.

You should not have to live that way.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

I have the references to prove I'm great!


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

badsanta said:


> This poll would be super awesome if both the husband and wife had to answer it together as a two-part survey!
> 
> H = I know I'm damn good.
> W = His confidence annoys me
> ...


LOL! I keep trying to get the Mrs. to post but she is too shy, even for an anonymous forum.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

ConanHub said:


> RClawson.... Ouch!
> 
> Is there any great reason to stay with her, despite your years? I would probably laugh at her and tell her she needed a spanking. I would then proceed to give her one until her attitude changed. If she was too stubborn to change, I would dump her stupid ass and find greener pastures.
> 
> ...


Well I am sure if you asked her she would look at it differently but she really takes responsibility for nothing the end of the day. I am actually considering separating after the new year. A work friend know something is up with me and let me know he has a spare room for a couple of months if I need to clear my head. I never really gave it much thought until he brought it up and I am really warming up to the idea.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

RClawson said:


> Well I am sure if you asked her she would look at it differently but she really takes responsibility for nothing the end of the day. I am actually considering separating after the new year. A work friend know something is up with me and let me know he has a spare room for a couple of months if I need to clear my head. I never really gave it much thought until he brought it up and I am really warming up to the idea.


Sounds like a good idea. You could get some space and have some "you" time. Pardon me for asking, but didn't she cheat on you as well? Can't recall but if so, her current attitude should be the nail in the coffin.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

ConanHub said:


> Sounds like a good idea. You could get some space and have some "you" time. Pardon me for asking, but didn't she cheat on you as well? Can't recall but if so, her current attitude should be the nail in the coffin.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I have never been able to gather any hard evidence and have come to the conclusion she is just not that into me. I can honestly say she has been making more of an effort in the past few weeks. I am going back to counseling soon and she has agreed to participate if my therapists requests her to be available. This was not an option previously.


----------



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

I get new partner jitters. Beyond that I'm a rockstah.


----------



## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

richardsharpe said:


> The idea that some (many?) men are not confident of their sexual prowess seems to recur often, I'm curious how men actually feel about this. (apologies if this is a repeat poll).


I suppose there's two kinds of confidence. 1. what does a girl think after the first time or two and 2. what does the wife think after 20 years. Well no one avoided a repeat after we hooked (opportunity allowing) and my wife seems happy so if I'm not good then it's their faults for not speaking up or avoiding repeats . One thing I know for certain is that it's good for me.


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Having an essentially non-orgasmic wife who resists attempts to communicate, my frame of reference is insufficient for me to say one way or the other. Whether I'm good or bad, I have no idea. I make the assumption I'm bad and keep trying to improve.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Fozzy said:


> Having an essentially non-orgasmic wife who resists attempts to communicate, my frame of reference is insufficient for me to say one way or the other. Whether I'm good or bad, I have no idea. I make the assumption I'm bad and keep trying to improve.


Not knocking it but is your W your only partner?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Yes, we're each others firsts.


----------



## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

I know I'm damn good...with my wife. I imagine I'd have the typical nerves and insecurities with another woman, especially since I have a long history of body image issues stemming back to childhood. They're far better now though, thank God.

As far as asking if male insecurity even exists? I hope that was an attempt at humor.


----------



## Basic"FairyDust"Love (Nov 19, 2014)

I've noticed from several threads on this message board that way too much emphasis is put on sex and sexual performance. It is not a sport. It is about two people connecting in love. We all have the same parts. You put it in, thrust, touch, kiss, stare into each others eyes, hold each other and talk. What is so complicated about that? Barring any physical ailments, if you are truly connected together outside of the bedroom then connection in the bedroom shouldn't be that far of a stretch.


----------



## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

Basic"FairyDust"Love said:


> I've noticed from several threads on this message board that way too much emphasis is put on sex and sexual performance. It is not a sport. It is about two people connecting in love. We all have the same parts. You put it in, thrust, touch, kiss, stare into each others eyes, hold each other and talk. What is so complicated about that? Barring any physical ailments, if you are truly connected together outside of the bedroom then connection in the bedroom shouldn't be that far of a stretch.


Sorry but I find your post a naive oversimplification. If you go back and read those threads you will notice a common theme. The vast majority are individuals who have committed to an spouse who takes a cavalier attitude, at best, to fulfilling the intimate needs of their partners.


----------



## Basic"FairyDust"Love (Nov 19, 2014)

RClawson said:


> Sorry but I find your post a naive oversimplification. If you go back and read those threads you will notice a common theme. The vast majority are individuals who have committed to an spouse who takes a cavalier attitude, at best, to fulfilling the intimate needs of their partners.


That's because they are no longer strongly connected or there is something going on or wrong with the partner that is not complying.


----------



## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

Basic"FairyDust"Love said:


> That's because they are no longer strongly connected or there is something going on or wrong with the partner that is not complying.


For my response please see my previous post. It still applies.


----------



## Basic"FairyDust"Love (Nov 19, 2014)

RClawson said:


> For my response please see my previous post. It still applies.


My responses apply as well.


----------



## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

I know. Still sweeping generalizations. Thanks for your input.


----------



## Basic"FairyDust"Love (Nov 19, 2014)

RClawson said:


> I know. Still sweeping generalizations. Thanks for your input.


I have my point of view just as you do. If you feel that your situation is complicated instead of simplistic then you have the right to feel that way.


----------



## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

I tend to believe that most people that post to the types of situations we are discussing are in complex circumstances.


----------



## Observer (Aug 23, 2011)

Things I've learned from a lot of experience...nice way of saying I was a man *****. Size, unless you are very very small, really does not matter and we as men seriously overestimate how important it is. Women who disagree simply have not been with a mean that really knows what he is doing. Your hands, voice, kisses and confidence are just important as your technique with penetration...which varies depending on the mood. Don't be selfish, tell yourself she comes first  Quickies are nice occasionally, but got to have those 1-2 hour sessions frequently. Don't be shy, did I mention how important confidence is? Finally, Learn where that G spot is, your fingers can be magical. Women are different but the same, some things work better depending on the woman, just find her buttons and stick to doing what she likes. No need to waste time if she is not comfortable.


----------



## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

richardsharpe said:


> The idea that some (many?) men are not confident of their sexual prowess seems to recur often, I'm curious how men actually feel about this. (apologies if this is a repeat poll).
> 
> For people who are not confident, what is it that worries you. Physical appearance? Skill? Endowment? Stamina? Something else?
> 
> ...


I found the more confident the man is about his sexual prowess at the very beginning of the sexual part of the relationship the less likely sex with him is going to be a fulfilling experience. The guys who started out being fully confident that they could please me were always a disappointment.
Dh started off without any confidence and it was like a breath of fresh air. Even with our issues,he still is hands down the best ever.


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Odd--this is 180 degrees different from what we'd normally here from women--that confidence is sexy.


----------



## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Fozzy said:


> Odd--this is 180 degrees different from what we'd normally here from women--that confidence is sexy.


It is sexy,to a point.


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

My thing is that confidence is built with time. I think if I had to start over again in the dating scene I'm not sure I would have less confidence on the outset with her but with time I would learn to play beautiful music with her. The best thing about sex, is discovery of the other person and not just about "wham bam thank you ma'am". This would often result in vanilla sex.... Never stop exploring, never stop looking to climb to the higher high.

ETA: I've been playing the bass guitar for 38 years. If you ask me if I were confident or good at playing, I would tell you I can play but have so much more to discover. That is how I see sex.


----------



## Flying_Dutchman (Oct 29, 2014)

I think it's the difference between confidence and arrogance.

It's a stereotype, but,,,,

,, a guy might get an idea that because he can thrust away, in 4 different positions and last for 30 mins like a male porn star, he's good in bed.

He is,, for women who like being bànged like a porn star too,, but if he can't adapt (or maintain an erèction/cùm) for a woman who prefers slow and gentle,, he's pretty useless.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Observer (Aug 23, 2011)

Fozzy said:


> Odd--this is 180 degrees different from what we'd normally here from women--that confidence is sexy.


It definately is for many women. I've heard it so many times, not even expecting to. It was not something I was trying to do, it's just me. Not arrogance...confidence. I don't brag or tell a woman, "I'm gonna do this, or I'm gonna do that", your eyes and demenaor are where a woman will know if you are confident, timid, or insecure. Not all women are the same though so...


----------



## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

H = I may be OK, but sometimes I worry
W = He is awesome!


----------



## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

ScarletBegonias said:


> I found the more confident the man is about his sexual prowess at the very beginning of the sexual part of the relationship the less likely sex with him is going to be a fulfilling experience. The guys who started out being fully confident that they could please me were always a disappointment.
> Dh started off without any confidence and it was like a breath of fresh air. Even with our issues,he still is hands down the best ever.


The reason I voted that I know I'm damn good is not that I am confident in knowing what a new partner needs to feel fulfilled or get off.

It's that I know I can make her feel safe and comfortable in sharing with and expressing to me what she needs to feel fulfilled and get off.


----------



## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Deejo said:


> The reason I voted that I know I'm damn good is not that I am confident in knowing what a new partner needs to feel fulfilled or get off.
> 
> It's that I know I can make her feel safe and comfortable in sharing with and expressing to me what she needs to feel fulfilled and get off.


its the attitude that makes the difference. and it not being 'all about me'.


----------



## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Deejo said:


> The reason I voted that I know I'm damn good is not that I am confident in knowing what a new partner needs to feel fulfilled or get off.
> 
> It's that I know I can make her feel safe and comfortable in sharing with and expressing to me what she needs to feel fulfilled and get off.


:smthumbup:


----------



## Basic"FairyDust"Love (Nov 19, 2014)

RClawson said:


> I tend to believe that most people that post to the types of situations we are discussing are in complex circumstances.


I believe that many things in life are simple, we just tend to see or want to see them as complicated.

I read your post on this thread about your marriage. Your wife no longer respects or puts you as a priority. That is a simple fact. It just may be hard for you to accept.


----------



## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

My h is quite confident, but I find his confidence is misplaced. My efforts to get him to worry a little bit more have fallen on deaf ears.


----------



## Observer (Aug 23, 2011)

always_alone said:


> My h is quite confident, but I find his confidence is misplaced. My efforts to get him to worry a little bit more have fallen on deaf ears.


Haha I'm sorry to hear that. Yes, that is a problem :scratchhead:


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

My H knows he's good at it and he did confidently tell me this in the beginning...but really only because I was steering the conversation that way. He would have never brought it up first or offered. But since I'm the nosey curious type, I got it out of him.

He said things that indicated plenty of confidence but didn't oversell it.

As it turned out he was being extremely humble because he's freaking incredible.


----------



## Green Eyes (Nov 20, 2014)

I like confidence, not arrogance. In my albeit limited experiences when I was single years ago the guys who bragged about their abilities, usually were lackluster. Those who were much more humble were better lovers. Those who would talk the talk couldn't walk the walk.


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Green Eyes said:


> I like confidence, not arrogance. In my albeit limited experiences when I was single years ago the guys who bragged about their abilities, usually were lackluster. Those who were much more humble were better lovers. Those who would talk the talk couldn't walk the walk.


Sometimes I can't walk the walk AFTER sex.


----------



## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening all
I think that being good in bed is 90% WANTING to please your partner and being willing to figure out what they enjoy. Here I'm not just talking about physical actions, but about being happy with the different "moods" of sex. Understanding if your partner wants a long gentle lovemaking session, or wants to be Fcked hard - and sensing when they sometimes want one and sometimes the other.

By that standard I consider myself good.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Another good conversation might be "why" you are confident. Especially seeing some of what came up in this thread.

I will admit to a little uncertainty before my first time, until she made an exclamation in the first few seconds talking to god. LOL!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

ConanHub said:


> Another good conversation might be "why" you are confident. Especially seeing some of what came up in this thread.


I am confident because I know my wife. I knew her long before we ever had sex. She would tell anyone that she believes I know her better than she knows herself. We have an authentic, honest relationship. 

So there is no question as to whether the pleasure expressed is genuine. There is no faking or lying with us. But to be honest the core of our sex life rests on a chemistry we've had for a long time, before we ever made love. That chemistry, that connection, is what fuels all of our sexual encounters. It elevates a kiss to the level of love making, it creates in us the potential to find satisfaction even in the seeming mundane. It makes it a lot easier to let go, to enjoy one another, without the pressures to perform, or the expectations to live up to any standard. The vast majority of the time we just relent to each other, enjoy the moment, cum and move on. 

I really don't think sex is suppose to be the complex, over wrought, over planned, over thought thing so many couples make it.


----------



## nuclearnightmare (May 15, 2013)

I suppose one could evaluate guys's skill at sex, independent of who they are having sex with. maybe to have sex with 10 randomly selected strangers and then the strangers rate the performance. given that scenario some guiys might be a lot better than others. I would then think that the guys that are very good had acquired a skill of marginal value, since the activity where they really shine is of marginal value (i.e. ONS)

so yeah I agree with most posting here - the skill becomes important when it has been developed to please a valued partner


----------



## nuclearnightmare (May 15, 2013)

RClawson said:


> I tend to believe that most people that post to the types of situations we are discussing are in complex circumstances.



just want to say that I am not in your wife's "corner', nor an advocate for your marriage. But I have read a great number of your posts and empathize with you as an individual. with that preface I will say, please do the right thing and leave your wife!
and the temporary separation you're talking about would not be a bad first step. go for it! better to leave her for a little while than to not leave her at all


----------



## lovesmanis (Oct 9, 2014)

I want a man who wants me. 
A man with interest and desire is so sexy. That is something that should never be forgotten. 
When a partner stops desiring their partner, it is over. You have lost the interest. 
A man could be the worst fu k in the world but his desire could trump that.


----------



## lovesmanis (Oct 9, 2014)

It is all about keeping the passion and thrill alive.


----------



## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

lovesmanis said:


> I want a man who wants me.
> A man with interest and desire is so sexy. That is something that should never be forgotten.
> When a partner stops desiring their partner, it is over. You have lost the interest.
> A man could be the worst fu k in the world but his desire could trump that.


Yes desired is good.
Yes purpose is sexy.
Yes when desire is lost it's trouble.
NO desire and passion do not trump all.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

badsanta said:


> Regarding my confidence... As much as I like to super brag about how good I am having sex all by myself, my wife will prove me wrong and that she is way better just by barely touching me with one of her fingers. Then she will put me into a sexual rage and I will basically force myself upon her in a futile attempt to reclaim my masculinity. Afterwards I will feel bad for getting to aggressive only for her to look at me and say, "poor thing, you don't realize that I was the one that just took advantage of you!"
> 
> So as for being confident, my wife tends to confuse me, so I don't know how to expand on this topic very well...
> Can somebody please let me know how I am doing?


LOL! :rofl: You crack me up brother.


----------



## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

When I know a woman is sexually attracted to me I am completely confident of my skills to pleasure her, from the sweet words of affection and arousal at the crack of dawn to the ripping off of clothes and bringing her to O.

In my current relationship the mutual sexual attraction between me and my GF is strong.

What I was(am?) not confident in, when I was single, was finding a woman who was sexually attracted to me, and also since my marriage went south I've struggled in the "ready to perform sexually" department (as in "stamina"/stiffness)

In the minutes and hours after intercourse (PIV) I can feel my confidence extend much further than when I've been going without PIV for some time.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

I don't tend to view it this way, so the closest thing to me would be "I'm ok, and not worried about it."

I've had my share of insecurities and doubts. I've wondered and been curious about female preferences. I don't exactly doubt my "ability", as much as I doubt the subjective nature of such judgments.

This question is very broad. What constitutes sexual ability? The best things I do are all in the run up to sex. Are those sexual abilities, or is it only "sexual acts"? And what qualifies x and good and y as bad? I've been with women with whom I connected well who thought our sex was awesome, even though it was objectively run of the mill and she rarely orgasmed. I've been with women I didn't connect well with, but had wildly passionate sex in which they orgasm multiple times, only to discover that sex isn't all that important to her. Fing her silly didn't actually win me good marks. And then there's a million other combinations of this and that which are described as good and bad often in total contradiction. It's also relative to what we've had before.

It's seemingly all over the map. So "Are you confident in your sexual ability" is an odd question. One can be confident as all get out and be thought a totally sh*tty lay. It's like asking someone if they have good taste in music. I can't even say I think of it as an ability really.

To me, it's rather meaningless. Am I everyone's cup of tea? No. Am I someone's? Absolutely. I won't know her opinion until afterward, if at all, so it never made sense to me to be ****y about it with a statement like "I know I'm damn good". Being good or not is totally subjective, and often relative to the relationship status, and a billion non-sexual things in the mind of the partner. I can't count how many times I've been "awesome in bed" during a relationship, and then "crap in bed" after a break up she didn't want. lol

So I don't consider myself some universal good or bad in bed. I'm just me, and don't bother with intuiting the opinions of others... much less internalizing them. Also, I think its more about mutual compatibility than anything else. Sexually compatible people usually have great sex. Less sexually compatible people, not so much... regardless of how "damn good in bed" one of them thinks they are.


----------



## WasHappyatOneTime (Nov 26, 2012)

If she's turned on, you can tell. It's really that simple.


----------



## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

I voted 'I may be ok but sometimes I worry'....and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

Before my wife I had two 'serious' relationships. The sex was good -I was good. I could last more than long enough to make sure they were satisfied.

Then my wife came along....it started out OK but her complete lack of real interest in sex etc slowly took its toll. 
She would often reject me or ask me to hurry up...so over the years I was sort of 'trained' to get it over with as quickly as possible before she changed her mind.

What concerns me is that when (if) I find a new partner I am going to disappoint her while I re-train/re-program myself to last longer etc.
At the moment I am a crap lover because I have lost all interest in sex...
The next will have to be understanding and patient with me....but I'll be worth the wait!


----------



## Lionelhutz (Feb 2, 2012)

Measured by results I think I am quite good. I'm also open minded, adventurous and can be quite intuitive. 

But then again I also think I have been lucky and have mostly had very orgasmic women in my life who were easy to please. Also years of living in a sexless marraige has destroyed large chunks of my self-worth.

So I think I am good but sometimes consumed by doubt.


----------



## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

As long as my future fiance is pleased, that's really all that matters to me.


----------



## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

My husband knows he's damn good because every partner he's had has told him so, including his first who was not a virgin by any means. Because of this, he is definitely confident in his abilities and he has every reason to be. He is smoking hot...can't keep my hands off of him, and even his glaringly obvious wedding right, or my own presence right next to him, aren't always enough to deter women from flirting with him...he's successful in his career and continues to be so, he's wicked smart, he's kind and yet can read people immediately...he really has every reason to be a pompous ass, and yet he's not. DH knows he's an amazing lay, but never acts as if he's doing me some sort of favor by having sex with me, and I can not overstate the importance of that. I feel safe to be who I am sexually, I feel safe to share my fantasies with him and likewise him with me, and at no point do I feel like a tool used to get an orgasm. All of that ties in to why I am always totally sexually satisfied with him.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Created2Write said:


> My husband knows he's damn good because every partner he's had has told him so, including his first who was not a virgin by any means. Because of this, he is definitely confident in his abilities and he has every reason to be. He is smoking hot...can't keep my hands off of him, and even his glaringly obvious wedding right, or my own presence right next to him, aren't always enough to deter women from flirting with him...he's successful in his career and continues to be so, he's wicked smart, he's kind and yet can read people immediately...he really has every reason to be a pompous ass, and yet he's not. DH knows he's an amazing lay, but never acts as if he's doing me some sort of favor by having sex with me, and I can not overstate the importance of that. I feel safe to be who I am sexually, I feel safe to share my fantasies with him and likewise him with me, and at no point do I feel like a tool used to get an orgasm. All of that ties in to why I am always totally sexually satisfied with him.


Like x10.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

I'm not the best, but I'm plenty F'king good enough!


----------

