# Opinions on MaryJane usage?



## heyheyitschrish

I have seen lots of posts about Mary Jane (weed) conflicts in relationships. I do not necessarily have an issue with it affecting my relationship, but it is a conflict of interest...
My husband drinks alchohol but I actively smoke MaryJane because I think it is healthier for body and mind. He smokes MJ with me sometimes but does not enjoy the way it makes him feel and chooses alchohol instead and prefers me not to smoke too often because when he does it makes his body and mind uncomfortable and he cannot comprehend that it does not do that for me. 

Does anyone have spouses that use? Does anyone's spouses use and have they have a problem with it or do not allow it and does it cause major problems? 

What is everyone opinions on MJ usage in a marriage?


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## sh987

I don't drink alcohol at all (woke up with a hangover 20 years ago and thought "To hell with this), and haven't tried marijuana. I just don't like feeling that loss of control in myself, and like to keep my faculties the way they are. That's my choice my for my life though, and that said, I'm pro-legalization.

But... Marijuana use in a marriage? Seems like both should be on board with it. Depending on where you live, it IS illegal, and can result in ruining lives and families. 

Not a risk to be taken lightly, imo.


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## doubletrouble

W has a medical card, although in our state we no longer need that. She smokes daily and I couldn't care less. She is the same person one way or the other. And since it helps her physically since her surgery and following issues, I give it a thumbs up. 

I'd MUCH rather live with a pothead than an alcoholic. In fact, I would NOT live with an alcoholic.


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## heyheyitschrish

sh987 said:


> I don't drink alcohol at all (woke up with a hangover 20 years ago and thought "To hell with this), and haven't tried marijuana. I just don't like feeling that loss of control in myself, and like to keep my faculties the way they are. That's my choice my for my life though, and that said, I'm pro-legalization.
> 
> But... Marijuana use in a marriage? Seems like both should be on board with it. Depending on where you live, it IS illegal, and can result in ruining lives and families.
> 
> Not a risk to be taken lightly, imo.


Definitely, I completely agree it is not a risk to be taken lightly and I use responsibly :smthumbup: Thanks for the reply!


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## heyheyitschrish

doubletrouble said:


> W has a medical card, although in our state we no longer need that. She smokes daily and I couldn't care less. She is the same person one way or the other. And since it helps her physically since her surgery and following issues, I give it a thumbs up.
> 
> I'd MUCH rather live with a pothead than an alcoholic. In fact, I would NOT live with an alcoholic.


Totally agree! Do you use also? Is it something that strenghtens the marriage or just another thing that is irrelevant to it?
Glad you support your wife, how awesome


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## Jellybeans

I don't smoke really and neither did my ex. I think it would be annoying if one were super into it, every day and the other wasn't. I can see how it'd be a problem. 

I personally don't think smoking it is awful but it's not something I am into. I rather have a glass of wine. We ed always made me paranoid so that is why I had no interest in smoking. Wine relaxes me.


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## ScarletBegonias

Dh is more into it than I am.I don't judge him. He's a professional with a great job,he's responsible with money,he doesn't drink,and he isn't a lay about do nothing. What he chooses to do to unwind is his choice provided it isn't causing damage to our relationship,our finances,or his job. 

I think when it comes to weed and alcohol if you're not on the same page you shouldn't be together. 

It doesn't have a positive or negative affect on our marriage. Well,I guess a positive would be we laugh at super dumb sh*t that we wouldn't otherwise find funny. I'm kinda tightly coiled so it is nice to have a lil something to unwind me when I start getting all crazy.


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## heyheyitschrish

Jellybeans said:


> I don't smoke really and neither did my ex. I think it would be annoying if one were super into it, every day and the other wasn't. I can see how it'd be a problem.
> 
> I personally don't think smoking it is awful but it's not something I am into. I rather have a glass of wine. We ed always made me paranoid so that is why I had not interest in smoking. Wine relaxes me.


I think my husband relates to you about the paranoia!


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## Jellybeans

It is FUNNY how very differently it can affect one person to the next, right?

I have some friends that that is the only way they can relax! Hilarious.


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## heyheyitschrish

ScarletBegonias said:


> Dh is more into it than I am.I don't judge him. He's a professional with a great job,he's responsible with money,he doesn't drink,and he isn't a lay about do nothing. What he chooses to do to unwind is his choice provided it isn't causing damage to our relationship,our finances,or his job.
> 
> I think when it comes to weed and alcohol if you're not on the same page you shouldn't be together.
> 
> It doesn't have a positive or negative affect on our marriage. Well,I guess a positive would be we laugh at super dumb sh*t that we wouldn't otherwise find funny. I'm kinda tightly coiled so it is nice to have a lil something to unwind me when I start getting all crazy.


That is great that you guys are on the same page about this! I totally agree, and it does not affect my job, finances, or anything of the sort I am definitely very responsible about it and the rest of my life. I love to use it as a relaxer, especially after a long day. My husband will smoke with me occassionally and we have some good times together but it does not make him feel very good I guess he just prefers the feeling of alchohol. Which I am completely okay with as long as he drinks responsibly also! That is nice to hear of a couple with that much respect for eachother's preferences and being so much on the same page! I am definitely striving for that! He is normally okay with me smoking about once a week but he recently told me it would be okay to try going to a couple times a week since I would rather smoke more often. I guess it is a compromise since he likes rarely and I like everyday. :smthumbup: We will see if he holds this up and if it works for us!


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## ScarletBegonias

Depends on the type for me when it comes to paranoia. I have to be really careful if I'm using the vaporizer bc it doesn't even feel like you're doing anything and it has a really awesome herbal tea taste.So you're just toking away and before you know it you're tweaking out bc you're just way too high. The next 20-30 mins you're hating life so much. LOL


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## heyheyitschrish

Jellybeans said:


> It is FUNNY how very differently it can affect one person to the next, right?
> 
> I have some friends that that is the only way they can relax! Hilarious.



I know it is so funny and strange! I enjoy drinking occassionally but I feel almost like "less in control" drinking and more in control of my mind and body when I smoke, which is why I prefer MJ. Totally the opposite for my hubby!


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## ScarletBegonias

heyheyitschrish said:


> That is great that you guys are on the same page about this! I totally agree, and it does not affect my job, finances, or anything of the sort I am definitely very responsible about it and the rest of my life. I love to use it as a relaxer, especially after a long day. My husband will smoke with me occassionally and we have some good times together but it does not make him feel very good I guess he just prefers the feeling of alchohol. Which I am completely okay with as long as he drinks responsibly also! That is nice to hear of a couple with that much respect for eachother's preferences and being so much on the same page! I am definitely striving for that! He is normally okay with me smoking about once a week but he recently told me it would be okay to try going to a couple times a week since I would rather smoke more often. I guess it is a compromise since he likes rarely and I like everyday. :smthumbup: We will see if he holds this up and if it works for us!


Try getting a vaporizer and see if he feels differently about your usage. People tend to accept vaping more than smoking for some reason.


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## heyheyitschrish

ScarletBegonias said:


> Try getting a vaporizer and see if he feels differently about your usage. People tend to accept vaping more than smoking for some reason.


Great suggestion-Thank you!:smthumbup:


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## Lordhavok

Me and my wife both smoke, and we both drink also. I guess being a drummer in a metal band, its just the norm. Yeah, the party lifestyle has taken a toll, doctor said I've aged myself an extra 10 years from living like a rock star. Thats all I do now though, just smoke some weed and a couple of beers. All the other stuff I've left behind and I dont miss it at all. And having sex while stoned is freaking awesome!


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## heyheyitschrish

Lordhavok said:


> Me and my wife both smoke, and we both drink also. I guess being a drummer in a metal band, its just the norm. Yeah, the party lifestyle has taken a toll, doctor said I've aged myself an extra 10 years from living like a rock star. Thats all I do now though, just smoke some weed and a couple of beers. All the other stuff I've left behind and I dont miss it at all. And having sex while stoned is freaking awesome!


Totally agree, sex while stoned is amazing :smthumbup::iagree:


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## doubletrouble

heyheyitschrish said:


> Totally agree! Do you use also? Is it something that strenghtens the marriage or just another thing that is irrelevant to it?
> Glad you support your wife, how awesome


My career took a turn when Nancy Reagan started the just say no campaign. I was forced into UAs for the rest of my career. But before that, I smoked it a lot. And nowadays I am in a position of responsibility where smoking it could ruin my career, whether I get UAed or not.


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## heyheyitschrish

doubletrouble said:


> My career took a turn when Nancy Reagan started the just say no campaign. I was forced into UAs for the rest of my career. But before that, I smoked it a lot. And nowadays I am in a position of responsibility where smoking it could ruin my career, whether I get UAed or not.


Oh okay I totally understand!


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## Violletta

I don't mind that my husband uses, it helps his pain. I wish the doctors and medical prices weren't so awful. It actual makes him a better person, he is more helpful around the house and a better communicator. Go figure. I didn't expect that.


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## Luluzinha

My husband doesn't smoke weed, but he is for legalization, I am against it. The only reason I am telling you this is so what I am about to tell you makes sense.

I told him, that if he decided to smoke MJ for other reason than extremely necessary (like a real medical condition) that I could not be married to him. I can't stand cigarets and I would never date or marry someone that smokes, smoking MJ is no different for me other than the ilegal problem. Actually, the smell of MJ bothers me way more than the smell of cigarets.


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## Trojan John

Good thing that vaporisers exist...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Giro flee

Neither of us smokes anything, it's a real turn off. H will have a beer or glass of wine with dinner, I don't drink at all. I really do not like my mind altered at all.

I grew up with an alcoholic so I made darn sure H knew I wouldn't be with anyone who likes getting drunk or high. Luckily we were/are on the same page.


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## Maricha75

Legal or illegal, it has no place in my marriage... nor does alcohol nor tobacco. If it were prescribed by a doctor, that would be a different story. But for recreational use? No. It's not ok for me nor my husband.


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## As'laDain

i think of it like alcohol. 

used responsibly, not a problem and can be fun. 
use it irresponsibly, and its just as bad as alcohol. albeit less addictive. 


personally, its not for me. i smoked it once when i was 15 and absolutely hated it.


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## OhGeesh

Not as bad as alcohol and alcohol is legal!! 

Should be legal  the problem is how do you test quickly, reliably, and at what percentage of THC in the blood means you are intoxicated.

The testing needs to be spot on!!


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## arbitrator

*I don't really care for excessive alcohol use either! But alcohol is largely legal, whereas pot is not!

Call me a Neanderthal if you will, but I absolutely don't want pot, or any other prohibited recreational drugs anywhere around me or my family! Just sayin'! 

To do so, does nothing more than showing us self-serving signs of utter disrespect! It would be a whole lot like my skanky XW bringing her lardass BF over to my place to flaunt and bang in front of me! 

That just ain't happening!*


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## Tess112

He does it occasionally, about 2-3 times per month.

I don't care, he works hard. He should be able to relax every now and then.


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## As'laDain

arbitrator said:


> *I don't really care for excessive alcohol use either! But alcohol is largely legal, whereas pot is not!
> 
> Call me a Neanderthal if you will, but I absolutely don't want pot, or any other prohibited recreational drugs anywhere around me or my family! Just sayin'!
> 
> To do so, does nothing more than showing us self-serving signs of utter disrespect! It would be a whole lot like my skanky XW bringing her lardass BF over to my place to flaunt and bang in front of me!
> 
> That just ain't happening!*


as long as it is illegal, it wont be in my house either. 
but i dont think of it as any worse than alcohol, in of itself.


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## Maricha75

As'laDain said:


> as long as it is illegal, it wont be in my house either.
> but i dont think of it as any worse than alcohol, in of itself.


Legal or illegal, it will not be allowed in my house. Same with drinking alcohol or smoking tobacco.


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## ScarletBegonias

Maricha75 said:


> Legal or illegal, it will not be allowed in my house. Same with drinking alcohol or smoking tobacco.


This is the only view I can get behind when people are fully against weed. 

The ones who are so vehemently opposed to it but still allow tobacco and alcohol in their homes automatically get tuned out and laughed at.


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## 45188

Sigh.. Alcohol is more dangerous than crack / heroin, pot makes your brain form abnormally and your memory poor.


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## MattMatt

kipani said:


> Sigh.. Alcohol is more dangerous than crack / heroin, pot makes your brain form abnormally and your memory poor.


Really? How do you reach the conclusion re alcohol?


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## Maricha75

MattMatt said:


> Really? How do you reach the conclusion re alcohol?


While I wouldn't necessarily agree that it is MORE dangerous, I can see how someonE MIGHT feel that way. Crack and heroin are illegal. Pretty much everyone knows it is dangerous and what can happen when you use them.... Alcohol, however, is legal. And, because it IS legal, people often have the "I can handle it" mentality and they really CAN'T handle it. But, they feel it's all ok because... it's legal to drink. That would possibly make it appear more dangerous to some people. Again, I don't necessarily agree, but I can see how some may come to that conclusion.


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## Refuse to be played

I use to smoke in high school. Wasn't a pothead or anything, just like 3 times or so a week and it didn't interfere with my life. Played football in the fall, basketball in the winter, track and field in the spring, worked in the summer, and maintained a 3.0 gpa and a social life. 

Stopped during my first stint in college. My W (GF at the time) didn't like pot do to her parents influence. I quit cold turkey when we moved in together. 

I find my MIL to be a bit of a hypocrite when it comes to pot and alcohol. She'll trash people that smoke pot....while downing her third glass of wine.


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## EnjoliWoman

I was very anti-drug and alcohol growing up although the occasional beer was had in my house. I didn't like the idea of being out of control when I heard stories of not remembering the night before.

Met ex - it was after I moved in with him that I found out he smoked pot. He made it clear that since he'd been around me both stoned and not without my knowing it, that it didn't change his personality and I could accept this or go. 

Fast forward a few years and I tried it while he was gone and finally with him. I have to say I really like it - it is very relaxing and a good way to decompress/tune out. No different than a drink or two after work IMO. At least for someone like me who doesn't get paranoid.

But because ex gradually revealed his abusive side, I would hand him the bong and tell him to chill out; then I started doing it morning lunch and night as an escape method - I was self-medicating. (Maybe he was, too, since he was diagnosed NPD after we split.) Meanwhile functioning perfectly fine in the rest of the world. (Based on others, not just my perception.) 

Now I don't at all - too many issues with custody nor would I want to do it in front of my daughter. I think it CAN be a problem and it is quite demotivating but that is no different than alcohol - no one is motivated and ambitious if they are a heavy drinker, either.

But at least it isn't addictive like alcohol, cocaine, heroin, etc. No withdrawals when I left him, only stressful days when I wished I could unwind with it.

If it's legalized, I would do it again within reason.


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## Miss Taken

If pot was legal I admit that I would smoke it occasionally for recreational purposes. Having done both, alcohol is the worst intoxicant between the two. I used to smoke it a lot in high school. I don't smoke it now or even know where to buy it but I have had it at parties (maybe once a year) since, unless pregnant or breastfeeding. 

Unlike alcohol, I have never gotten angry on pot, never gotten sick, never blacked out, never made risky decisions like forgoing contraception while drunk (outside of the fact that pot is currently illegal so in itself a legal risk to use), never gotten hungover etc. If you're drunk, your entire day is shot and part of the next day for recovery time. If you smoke a joint, you're sober within hours.

I've worked and socialized with government officials, civil engineers and criminal defense attorneys who were all recreational pot users. To me it's no different than taking a couple of St John's Wort herbal supplements or having three glasses of red wine. It's relaxing. I think the use of pot, like alcohol should be a personal choice. Don't like it, don't use it and don't marry someone that does. However, I don't think that the naysayers have a right to decide for me what I want to do. 

For two years, I was working for the Federal Crown aiding in the prosecution of gun and drug charges in my area. I think it's a waste of tax-payer money and resources to charge "Joe Pothead" for his 0.5 gram. You're paying police officers, law clerks, crown attorneys, court clerks the same amount of money to process that pot case file as you are someone charged with heroin. It's ludicrous. 

I fully support the legalization of marijuana but that's it. I don't want other illicit substances to be made legal. That said, I do think that like alcohol, driving under the influence of pot should be a criminal offence.


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## As'laDain

Miss Taken said:


> If pot was legal I admit that I would smoke it occasionally for recreational purposes. Having done both, alcohol is the worst intoxicant between the two. I used to smoke it a lot in high school. I don't smoke it now or even know where to buy it but I have had it at parties (maybe once a year) since, unless pregnant or breastfeeding.
> 
> Unlike alcohol, I have never gotten angry on pot, never gotten sick, never blacked out, never made risky decisions like forgoing contraception while drunk (outside of the fact that pot is currently illegal so in itself a legal risk to use), never gotten hungover etc. If you're drunk, your entire day is shot and part of the next day for recovery time. If you smoke a joint, you're sober within hours.
> 
> I've worked and socialized with government officials, civil engineers and criminal defense attorneys who were all recreational pot users. To me it's no different than taking a couple of St John's Wort herbal supplements or having three glasses of red wine. It's relaxing. I think the use of pot, like alcohol should be a personal choice. Don't like it, don't use it and don't marry someone that does. However, I don't think that the naysayers have a right to decide for me what I want to do.
> 
> For two years, I was working for the Federal Crown aiding in the prosecution of gun and drug charges in my area. I think it's a waste of tax-payer money and resources to charge "Joe Pothead" for his 0.5 gram. You're paying police officers, law clerks, crown attorneys, court clerks the same amount of money to process that pot case file as you are someone charged with heroin. It's ludicrous.
> 
> I fully support the legalization of marijuana but that's it. I don't want other illicit substances to be made legal. That said, I do think that like alcohol, driving under the influence of pot should be a criminal offence.


you pretty much share my feelings on pot. 
except that i smoked white rhino for my first experience with pot and it was way too much for me. 

didnt like it... 
not for me.


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## OhGeesh

Should be legal 100% totally legal!! It's stupid for it not to be.......this is coming from a jock who never liked the feeling of weed back in the day.

Weed is far safter then Alcohol on almost every level. Law enforcement just needs to the tools to screen properly and hard limits of THC in the blood/urine would have to be drawn up.


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## HuggyBear

I view marijuana use as almost all substance use - as self-medication.

Whether it's pot, alcohol, caffeine, nicotine, or aspirin... people are trying to chemically/herbally supplement or alter their physiology (Yup, brain structure determines function).

People who have lives full of work, love, a proper diet, physical activity or mental/intellectual stimulation just aren't "using" the same way.

Understanding that, you can see where someone has "something" important lacking, or in deficit in their daily routine. At least any person of normal intelligence and understand can.

When I hear somebody criticizing someone else over some inconsequential self-medicating, I'll ask them to stop, before I quickly go pithy on them, after a quick glance or some personal understanding..."maybe they use X so they don't feel so bad about their gray hair/lousy complexion/excess weight"... or "I notice when he's high, he doesn't say or do stupid and mean things", how about "I smoke a bit so I don't mind doing business with someone whose own business is so distatsteful, corrupt or simply evil that it violates almost every religious or moral philosophy, including my own by working with them...".

I smoke some weed, two to four tokes a time, maybe two or three times a day. There are often periods of weeks, sometimes even months where I simply don't even think about it. My wife doesn't like it, but she simply can't tell when I have had a few tokes. She doesn't see it around, and she doesn't ever find it.

My kids never see it, nor smell it. They never see me drinking anything stronger than beer or wine. Ever. I don't smoke tobacco. At all. My idea of an anti-depressant is a big yellow curry.

I see a world of difference between "I hate/will not tolerate/do not understand it" and "No thank you." 



kipani said:


> Sigh.. Alcohol is more dangerous than crack / heroin, pot makes your brain form abnormally and your memory poor.


I love sarcasm disguised as ignorance and stupidity.

Now, what has that brain surgeon Sanjay Gupta been saying on CNN, and why does a doctor think he's smarter than all the police, drug counselors and government employees? Hee hee...


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## papa5280

preamble: I live in the state where you can legally buy it for recreational use. I've done so. 

To me, it's like nearly everything else in life. It can be responsibly used to enhance situations or to relax. It can also be used irresponsibly, to the point where in interferes with life. Like alcohol, there's a difference between a relaxing glass of wine or a beer with dinner, and a fifth of scotch to get blotto. About the only legal substance that is a deal-breaker for me is tobacco. It's the one substance that, when used as intended, kills you.

In terms of a marriage, it seems to me that the important thing is that both spouses have the same mentality about it, whether they each use it or not.

Oh, and for those who hate the smell...one word...edibles.


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## papa5280

OhGeesh said:


> Weed is far safter then Alcohol on almost every level. Law enforcement just needs to the tools to screen properly and hard limits of THC in the blood/urine would have to be drawn up.


There's the rub. I use rarely...maybe once a month. I can be very high on a relatively low blood level of THC. Someone who uses daily could have a much higher level of residual THC in their blood, and be absolutely sober. I agree we need to figure out the appropriate legal framework for DUI, but I don't know that we have the tools to do that yet.


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## CharlotteMcdougall

ScarletBegonias said:


> Dh is more into it than I am.I don't judge him. He's a professional with a great job,he's responsible with money,he doesn't drink,and he isn't a lay about do nothing. What he chooses to do to unwind is his choice provided it isn't causing damage to our relationship,our finances,or his job.
> 
> I think when it comes to weed and alcohol if you're not on the same page you shouldn't be together.
> 
> It doesn't have a positive or negative affect on our marriage. Well,I guess a positive would be we laugh at super dumb sh*t that we wouldn't otherwise find funny. I'm kinda tightly coiled so it is nice to have a lil something to unwind me when I start getting all crazy.


:iagree: My husband always says: "I would rather have a pothead wife than be married to an alcoholic." I enjoy my wine once in a while but I love weed more. Just like you, my husband would only have an issue with my pot smoking if I was a lazy and unproductive mess. 

Marijuana helps me with my PTSD and my anxiety. 

He is also totally against the use of hard drugs, which is fine because I would never even touch that stuff.


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## Machiavelli

I used to fight the war on drugs. After seeing how these organizations operate and the enormous demand Americans have for dope, I say legalize it all. Trying to inhibit natural selection by saving people from their own self destructive tendencies is impossible and the cost in money and personal liberty is too high. Being free means being free to self destruct.


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## CharlotteMcdougall

Machiavelli said:


> I used to fight the war on drugs. After seeing how these organizations operate and the enormous demand Americans have for dope, I say legalize it all. Trying to inhibit natural selection by saving people from their own self destructive tendencies is impossible and the cost in money and personal liberty is too high. Being free means being free to self destruct.


How is marijuana use self destructive if it is smoked for medical conditions? 

I watched a friend with HIV greatly benefit from marijuana. It helped him with nausea and lack of appetite. His doctor approved the use of medical marijuana for my friend. I know it lengthened his life.


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## pidge70

I grew up in a house where my dad smoked and when my brothers got older, they smoked with him. They all still smoke it. I would never smoke that crap with my kids, then again, growing up around it made me *NOT* want to do it. I would not be with someone that smokes it, nor is it allowed in my house.


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## Machiavelli

CharlotteMcdougall said:


> How is marijuana use self destructive if it is smoked for medical conditions?


Depends. If he's terminal anyway, he's already self destructed.



CharlotteMcdougall said:


> I watched a friend with HIV greatly benefit from marijuana. It helped him with nausea and lack of appetite. His doctor approved the use of medical marijuana for my friend. I know it lengthened his life.


He's already failed to pass on his genes, most likely, so he's already a reproductive dead end. Darwinism in action.


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## soulseer

MJ use is far less debilitating ,in my opinion, than alcohol.

Weed does not produce hangovers.Alcohol has a toxic feel to it and is very addictive imo.

Arguments with spouse/friends or the world are far more likely when drunk than stoned. 

I feel that the governments of the world would need to illegalise alcohol and tobacco if they want to prohibit psychoactive chemical and retain their moral/intellectual high ground.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Oldfaithful

Mj has no calories. 
I'd like to try vaping but it's been years since I've been able to find people who I could get anything from.


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## janesmith

i love to smoke weed. Boy does it take the edge off. I smoke everyday. I smoke after work and before i go to bed. Im a professional person, in fact im a therapist, which is funny when im trying my damnest to try and convince a kid to stop smoking. I usually take the route of where do you want to be, are you getting their smoking weed, and are you ready to make a choice. But i digress. I dont like to drink. Im a bit high strung and have terrible anxiety, i had my second panic attack recently and boy was that fun. If I had my stash on my i could have shut it right down. I figure i could be on xanax, clonipin, and other benzos and catch myself a nice addiction that would have me in rehab. naawwww. im all set. i smoke a doobie and my heart rate and blood pressure go down. better than those diuretics they wanted me to take that had me peeing so much it was affecting my job. 

my husband smokes occationally with me and never alone. it old him that if he had a problem with me smoking weed it would be problem, lol. thank goodness he doesnt. 20 years later he is still married to me lol. 

I challenge one ones opinion and accept all points of view.


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## Jadiel

I personally think its no big deal. the only times I see it being a big deal is when one smokes it, and the other heartily disapproves. But that's not the MJ causing the problem.


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## chillymorn

Hey ,dude what are we talking about again!


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## mishu143

We smoked a lot together. Like nightly after the kids wer ein bed. We though it was our time. We were fooling ourselves. We were masking our problems by goofing off with pot. It only prolonged our misery. 

And when I quit, My brain woke up and said what the hell have I been doing for the last 8 years. 

Don't get me wrong, I love it, but it really should be a recreational thing, like for fun, because it can really mess with my head, and I allowed it to become a crutch. 

I am glad I quit. And I have my brain back. My memory is coming back and I have a better grip on my emotions. Also, he cant hang it over my head anymore. It was his way of controlling me. And when I quit he lost that control. 

So to each their own, but that was my experience.


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## mishu143

And I am with others here... POT IS BETTER THAN ALCOHOL. In every way shape and form, but we weren't doing it for the right reasons. We were puffing smoke at our problems and never resolved them. 

So the next time around, it will be something I do while I vacation and have time to relax... not a way to avoid what should be dealt with.


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## violet37

mishu143 said:


> And I am with others here... POT IS BETTER THAN ALCOHOL. In every way shape and form, but we weren't doing it for the right reasons. We were puffing smoke at our problems and never resolved them.
> 
> So the next time around, it will be something I do while I vacation and have time to relax... not a way to avoid what should be dealt with.



That is my biggest issue with MJ, that it causes some users to just stick their heads in the sand (or maybe a fog??) and not deal with their problems! I don't think most people can use it on a daily basis ( or alcohol either) and it not have a detrimental effect on their lives. I'm all for someone using it now and then to relax, just don't let it become a habit. And it must be done with spouse's approval, sneaking around with any habit is a bad idea.


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## Oldfaithful

violet37 said:


> That is my biggest issue with MJ, that it causes some users to just stick their heads in the sand (or maybe a fog??) and not deal with their problems! I don't think most people can use it on a daily basis ( or alcohol either) and it not have a detrimental effect on their lives. I'm all for someone using it now and then to relax, just don't let it become a habit. And it must be done with spouse's approval, sneaking around with any habit is a bad idea.



This could be said of many activities and substances.


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## bkaydezz

I wish I could smoke it. I haven't since I was 18. It made me so sick everytime I did. I mean throwing up, couldn't breathe, ears felt like they were going to bust open. Couldn't think hardly. When I would come down off of it, after are the physical issues subsided, I would feel fine and liked that part. I don't see the problem. 
Ive watched many people suffer through illnesses, and it helped them cope. I am very much for it, for anyone who chooses it. 
This, would probably bring us a step closer to world peace. :


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## rider

I just have to chime in with some real world ADVICE! 

My wife has chronic pain and has been a heavy user of MJ for many years (4-5). Here are some tips if this is going on in your family:


Don't let pot use be like TV. I get offended because whenever I come to bed, she has a pipe in her hand to relax. But when I want to hug or cuddle she gets mad because she has to finish her puff. It's a small barrier, but it bugs me.
Invest in a vaporizer, smoking is smoking, and you will get smokers cough.
I find that just as often as pot reduces anxiety in casual users, I have seen it increase anxiety in chronic users. This is anecdotal, but I have many friends who say that pot is great for anxiety, and I say to them "where was your anxiety before you started smoking?"
Long term pot use can exacerbate mental illnesses like Bipolar disorder. If you already have these tendencies, please avoid pot.

On the very POSITIVE side of things, these issues are so tiny compared to the hell of a year on prescription painkillers. Shots to her spine bi-weekly, etc. My wife on pot is a far nicer, more rational human being than my wife on opiates!


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## DoF

Not a big deal here, we both use it. 18+ years in relationship.

Has it caused issues in the past, sure/of course. But we have learned from it and don't allow it to repeat.

What OP said about different effects on different people is 100% true. Everyone reacts differently.....

PS. we vaporize only (can't smoke it anymore).


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## greenfern

I have recently told my so of three years that if he smokes again he has to move out. So it's a big deal in our relationship.

I haven't been with someone who smokes regularly since I was in my teens so I didn't even recognize that he smoked daily (he didn't do it around me for a long time). He does it around 5pm usually and becomes totally self obsessed, goes on long tangents of conversation that to someone not stoned are totally boring. I didn't realize how much of a problem it was in our relationship until I was on tam last fall and people pointed out that it might be the cause of some of our issues. He quit the first time in February (lasted three weeks) and even in that short time it was Amazing. Then he started again and things went badly. He is one week clean now and again things are improving.

Every day though I wait to come home and he says he has smoked again. I will not go through it again, if he does he has to leave.


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## greenfern

I should also point out I'm not against mj in generate although I find people who are stoned are similar to people who are drunk. They are a lot cleverer and funnier to people who are also stoned or drunk.


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## CallaLily

I used to smoke it some when I was a teen and early adulthood. Now that I'm grown, in my 40's and my life has changed, I just don't see a need for me to do that anymore, I moved on from it, but thats just me.


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## PAgirl

I didn't read all the comments but my ex husband smoked pot every day. I didn't. It bothered me. It also bothered me that he would pay money for it when we struggled financially. But that may not be your issue. I think if a wife is okay with their husband's pot use, then so be it. But if your not, your not. I did lay ground rules that he should not be high around the kids and never smoke in front of them. He followed these rules. But he would smoke in his work truck and there were times he picked the kids up and his truck reaked of the smell. This REALLY angered me. And I would tell him not to smoke in his truck anymore, but there were times where he said he wasn't doing that and was clearly lying. So if you are not on board with his addiction, it could lead to problems for sure.


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## PBear

PAgirl said:


> I didn't read all the comments but my ex husband smoked pot every day. I didn't. It bothered me. It also bothered me that he would pay money for it when we struggled financially. But that may not be your issue. I think if a wife is okay with their husband's pot use, then so be it. But if your not, your not. I did lay ground rules that he should not be high around the kids and never smoke in front of them. He followed these rules. But he would smoke in his work truck and there were times he picked the kids up and his truck reaked of the smell. This REALLY angered me. And I would tell him not to smoke in his truck anymore, but there were times where he said he wasn't doing that and was clearly lying. So if you are not on board with his addiction, it could lead to problems for sure.


I'll go out on a limb on the ol' generalization tree, and say that anyone who smokes pot during the workday in a work truck is an absolute idiot, and this should not be tolerated any more than drinking would be. And anyone who tolerates this behavior is just enabling said idiot. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PAgirl

PBear said:


> I'll go out on a limb on the ol' generalization tree, and say that anyone who smokes pot during the workday in a work truck is an absolute idiot, and this should not be tolerated any more than drinking would be. And anyone who tolerates this behavior is just enabling said idiot.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yes he is an idiot and I am happily divorced :smthumbup:


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## JustTired

I smoke weed on the occasion. Recently in my state, they passed a law that you can get caught with 10 grams or less & you will only get a citation; no jail time. Anything more & you can get arrested. So I think that is a reasonable law.

My husband prefers alcohol & always has. On the occasion, he has smoked with me but he says he doesn't like the way weed makes him feel. It doesn't affect our relationship negatively. He has his own way to decompress and I have my own.


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## PBear

PAgirl said:


> Yes he is an idiot and I am happily divorced :smthumbup:



Right, you were looking for dating advice. . Good job on ditching the idiot! 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## pragmaster

ScarletBegonias said:


> I think when it comes to weed and alcohol if you're not on the same page you shouldn't be together.


Totally agree. Well said!!!!


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## Miss Taken

Pot use, like alcohol use is a potential deal-breaker. I would not date or commit to someone that used either if I was strongly opposed. Likewise, if I partook in one or both and my paramour didn't like it then I doubt they could be my husband.


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## DoF

PBear said:


> I'll go out on a limb on the ol' generalization tree, and say that anyone who smokes pot during the workday in a work truck is an absolute idiot, and this should not be tolerated any more than drinking would be. And anyone who tolerates this behavior is just enabling said idiot.
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You know, comparing that to alcohol is wrong.

CBS and few others recently did a study on driving high and their results were quite opposite to what you might think.

And when I think back to the days when I was a teen....

Me driving sober = completely reckless/irresponsible
Me driving high = slower and more careful than a grandma

Weed (not TOO much of it) makes you more aware and in general has made me a better driver.

:scratchhead:


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## ScarletBegonias

on driving high,I can't handle the slow response time and lack of sufficient peripheral vision so I refuse to drive until I feel back to normal. I found that I drive a lot slower too which can be really dangerous. People are speed demons around here. You'll get rear ended or run off the road if you're not driving above the speed limit.


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## Miss Taken

I think there are some who can drive well when stoned... they're probably chronic or habitual users. I was never a chronic so when I used to smoke, was a lightweight and could get pretty stoned. Have never driven high and if I ever do smoke it again, never will. 

Heck, there were times when it took me forever just to find something in my purse or tie my shoes. Could not imagine that improving my response time or defensive driving skills.


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## Runs like Dog

Tell your kids to tell their friends to blaze up as much as possible. It's takes a lot of backwards hats, stoners and brotards to pay for those scholarships.


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## PBear

DoF said:


> You know, comparing that to alcohol is wrong.
> 
> CBS and few others recently did a study on driving high and their results were quite opposite to what you might think.
> 
> And when I think back to the days when I was a teen....
> 
> Me driving sober = completely reckless/irresponsible
> Me driving high = slower and more careful than a grandma
> 
> Weed (not TOO much of it) makes you more aware and in general has made me a better driver.
> 
> :scratchhead:


I just googled "cbs study driving marijuana", and it turned up a number of links, none of which seemed to indicate that driving while stoned was a good idea. It wasn't as bad as drinking and driving, but it's still a contributing factor in traffic fatalities, especially in young people. So I'll stick with my answer...

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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