# Need some understanding!!



## mooses4x4 (Jun 22, 2013)

Ive got several concerns! My wife and I have been together for about 3 yrs. The first thing I have a concern about is, she used to keep it shaved, but now she lets it grow. Which is fine. But ive asked her a couple of times to shave it again and she wont. ?? 
The next thing is she wont let me finger her. Im really confused. She will let me do oral to her and she actually cums 4 or 5 times. Ive asked her if I can and she just says she doesn't like it.
Ive wanted to try anal with her and she says no because shes tried it before and doesn't like it. But that wasn't with me. She used to be more active in our sex life. She would tell me what to do i.e. harder, don't stop, faster, slower, deeper, etc. But now its the same way every time. At night before bed, in the bed, lights off. I perform oral on her and she orgasms 4 or 5 times. Then missionary, then shes on top, then we finish with reverse cowgirl. She used to be more interactive and spontaneous. Im not asking her to be freaky every time. But I would like to try new things with my beautiful wife. 
Ive gained 60lbs since weve been married, could this be an issue??


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## 4thand11 (May 20, 2013)

> I perform oral on her and she orgasms 4 or 5 times. Then missionary, then shes on top, then we finish with reverse cowgirl.


Lol well sorry you're not going to get any sympathy from me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mooses4x4 (Jun 22, 2013)

Wasn't asking for sympathy!!!! Just maybe some advise!!


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## ginger-snap (Apr 10, 2013)

mooses4x4 said:


> Ive gained 60lbs since weve been married, could this be an issue??


Quite possibly. She might be thinking why bother with shaving when you've gained 60 lbs? Still, it sounds like you have it pretty good. Maybe your technique with your fingers needs work? I hope you keep your nails clean, trimmed short, and filed. What does she do if you initiate during the day? What does she do if you rearrange her into another position?


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## 4thand11 (May 20, 2013)

mooses4x4 said:


> Wasn't asking for sympathy!!!! Just maybe some advise!!


Lol was just a joke!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mooses4x4 (Jun 22, 2013)

I keep my hands trimmed and clean. She never has let me. She just says she doesn't like it. So I am assuming that a past lover has done something she didn't like. So im paying the price? When I try to during the day she says ( we will tonight). I just want to experience new things with the woman I love. I know If she would just try she would like it and want more. Just not sure how to approach the topic.


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## Needy_Wife (Mar 10, 2010)

Tie her up, and try. Maybe once she feels how you please her, she might like it...lol


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## Jane_Doe (Aug 9, 2012)

I think once a person has decided they don't like anal, they don't need to try it with every subsequent partner 'just to try'. It's like marmite.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Jane_Doe said:


> I think once a person has decided they don't like anal, *they don't need to try it with every subsequent partner* 'just to try'. It's like marmite.


THis is a toughie. It's easy to understand intellectually, but the feelings of rejection are much harder to push away. You were into him enough to do it, so why not me, the person you are with now? What about him made it ok, but not me?


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## Needy_Wife (Mar 10, 2010)

samyeagar said:


> THis is a toughie. It's easy to understand intellectually, but the feelings of rejection are much harder to push away. You were into him enough to do it, so why not me, the person you are with now? What about him made it ok, but not me?


I agree. There have been men that I would never do that with again, and thought they ruined the experience, but try again, and have much pleasure from someone different.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

You've gained 60 lbs?

Would you like it if she gained 60 lbs???

Whether she shaves or not, shouldn't matter really.

If she doesn't want anal, due to a bad past experience, then leave it at that. You could hint at anal a lot of time until she is ready and tries it with you.

Buy her a small discrete vibrator......I did for my LD wife and wow, she loved it and did things she normally never does!!!!

Shave yourself down there and see how she reacts.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

CuddleBug said:


> You've gained 60 lbs?
> 
> Would you like it if she gained 60 lbs???
> 
> ...


I agree completely with the bolded but it is much easier than done. THat is something she will need to help him understand that it is not a rejection of him.

Regarding the shaving, something like that, I think that if one partner really likes something like that, it should't be any big deal to do it. My STBW shaves because she knows I like it, and likes doing things I like. I am the same with her.


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## jay_gatsby (Jun 4, 2013)

First, please try to lose the 60lbs. That will go a long way.


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## mooses4x4 (Jun 22, 2013)

Im working on the weight. Ive lost 11lbs so far. But even if she gained the weight I would still crave and desire her. Ive asked her if its my weight is an issue and she swears its not. She tells me she loves me more than she ever has anyone else. So why them and not me. I just don't know to approach the subject with her. So I don't sound like its all about me!


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## jay_gatsby (Jun 4, 2013)

mooses4x4 said:


> Im working on the weight. Ive lost 11lbs so far. But even if she gained the weight I would still crave and desire her. Ive asked her if its my weight is an issue and she swears its not. She tells me she loves me more than she ever has anyone else. So why them and not me. I just don't know to approach the subject with her. So I don't sound like its all about me!


It's not her gaining weight to match you, it's you losing about 50lbs more to match her.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

mooses4x4 said:


> Im working on the weight. Ive lost 11lbs so far. But even if she gained the weight I would still crave and desire her. Ive asked her if its my weight is an issue and she swears its not. She tells me she loves me more than she ever has anyone else. So why them and not me. I just don't know to approach the subject with her. So I don't sound like its all about me!


Some women are shallow like that. They only want a man with a broad chest, flat belly, narrow waist, muscular arms, and a cute butt just big enough for their pants to fit right.


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## mooses4x4 (Jun 22, 2013)

Well Ive always been a bigger man. Broad chest and shoulders. Kinda of a burly man. The weight I can take care of. But I need some advice on how to approach the other issues.


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