# Sex does not feel good.



## Missy_Mrs79 (Jan 22, 2015)

I've never said this out loud but.... PIV sex does nothing for me & at times is painful. I've had vaginal ultrasounds to check for pronlems...nothing wrong. Checked for STDs...none. Use lube, non-latex codoms (most of the time we don't use condoms). I am in my early 30's. It baffles me that women can have an orgasm from PIV sex...I often wonder if that is really even possible.

it makes PIV sex a chore. I am turned on by my husband being turned on & get pleasure by pleasung him but this feeling i have really bothers me. 

To make matters worse, when i was pregnant recently we didn't have PIV sex once b/c the thought of it bothered both of us. 

Now, post baby, I am like a virgin again. UGH. So PIV sex is pretty painful. My DH also works offshore, so we go weeks w/out sex & for me once I am out of the groove it is hard to get back in. 

Any input or advice is greatly appreciated!


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

I know this sounds weird, but what about getting a sex toy that matches your husbands length and girth. Since he is away for weeks at a time, you can "train" your V while you wait for the real thing to get home.
Maybe you could get a vibrating real life dildo and try to have an orgasm while masturbating (Dildo in Vagina or DIV for short ). Shut the vibrator off every now and again to avoid only getting off on a vibration alone.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Ump is on the right track.

Vaginal Dilator Set - Vaginismus.com

You should ask your GYN to prescribe physical therapy for pelvic floor muscle spasms. You would see a female PT who specializes in women's health who is specially trained to treat your pelvic floor muscles spasms which cause painful intercourse.

You'd be amazed at how well this will work. Womens PT is a relatively new field and I personally think every woman should be aware that pain during intercourse is never normal and is always treatable.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

How much foreplay do you guys do before he starts PIV? Are you aroused and ready first?


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## Missy_Mrs79 (Jan 22, 2015)

SlowlyGoingCrazy said:


> How much foreplay do you guys do before he starts PIV? Are you aroused and ready first?


Yes i am aroused. We do a good bit of foreplay.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Does your husband know that you're in pain?


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## Missy_Mrs79 (Jan 22, 2015)

Fozzy said:


> Does your husband know that you're in pain?


He knows. I don't think I've ever really told him pIV sex does nothing for me. I love the idea of it...but when it comes to it, i want it to be over.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

You need to tell him, with words. Don't let him find out in 20 years that he's been doing it all wrong the whole time.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

Missy_Mrs79 said:


> He knows. I don't think I've ever really told him pIV sex does nothing for me. I love the idea of it...but when it comes to it, i want it to be over.


Have you tried different positions? 

Have you tried having a lot longer foreplay before PIV?


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

is your husband on the large side ?

on a scale of 1-10 how bad is the pain?

before your child was born did it hurt then or just uncomfortable?

dose it feel like you have to pee?

do you masturbate? and is that pleasurable?

have you tried different positions?

I think its great your trying to find answers so you sex life with your husband can improve!!!!!!!


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## Missy_Mrs79 (Jan 22, 2015)

:lol:


Anonymous07 said:


> Have you tried different positions?
> 
> Have you tried having a lot longer foreplay before PIV?



Yes, we have. We even have several pieces of Liberator furniture & a swing.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

Do you have an orgasm during foreplay or after sex? When he starts, has he tried using fingers for a bit first and then go to PIV?


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## Missy_Mrs79 (Jan 22, 2015)

chillymorn said:


> is your husband on the large side ?
> 
> on a scale of 1-10 how bad is the pain?
> 
> ...



Thanks, Chilly. I've had this problem from day 1 of having sex. Does not feel like I have to pee. I use a vibrator quite often & i have since i was a teenager.


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## Missy_Mrs79 (Jan 22, 2015)

SlowlyGoingCrazy said:


> Do you have an orgasm during foreplay or after sex? When he starts, has he tried using fingers for a bit first and then go to PIV?


No, I don't. I am so used to the vibrator that It is very difficult for me to get off w/out it. That is kind of a whole other issue lol. I don't mind not orgasming bc once I do i want to roll over & go to sleep....my desire completely shuts off!


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## Marriedwithdogs (Jan 29, 2015)

Missy_Mrs79 said:


> Thanks, Chilly. I've had this problem from day 1 of having sex. Does not feel like I have to pee. I use a vibrator quite often & i have since i was a teenager.


This is very telling that you have been using a vibe since a teen. I was gonna say you have to get your mind rev'd up, maybe even watch or get into some steamy movies that might wet your appetite as this has been the answer for many couples with this issue. This is totally different tho.

Do you think you've trained yourself to only get off on the vibrator? If you use a vibe, you're not asexual and there's hope. Try going a month without the vibe. It will make you build up the craving and you will enjoy the real thing bc you've gone a long time without it. My hubs was military so we were apart a lot. Some of my most verbal and intense orgasms were when we went a long time without it due to work. We both built up the anticipation and by the time he got back, we were like a couple of horny teenagers


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Using a vibe would not cause pelvic/vag pain during intercourse. Unless the vin is what is causing your pelvic muscles to spasm... That's why you need to see a women's health PT who is educated and trained to diagnose and treat pelvic floor pain.


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