# Well then....



## Cyberhenny (Sep 10, 2012)

Hi All, first time poster here 

Not sure how to start this post so for give me for any ramblings... 

I have been married for 4.5 years, we have been together for 8 and we have a 2.5 year old little boy who is the love of my life. 

For the past couple of years we have been drifting apart, sex is a thing of the past, i think it has only happened once this year.
We get in fights over the little things for no reason... I try and clean up the kitchen and she thinks i'm doing it to make her mad (Which i keep telling her I'm not)
We have started going to counseling and the therapist told me that my wife is suffering from depression. I have told her that i am willing to do anything to help get the relationship better. But my wife doesn't seem to think it is worth it / able to get better.
We don't do anything fun together and haven't for ages... Ever time i try to suggest something she doesn't want to or sees it as a waste of time.
Now she is talking more and more about getting a separation / divorce. And it scares the hell out of me. The thought of not seeing my son everyday hurts...
But i don't see how this can get resolved. She told me she still loves be and i still love her, but our marriage is defiantly not right. It is like all the "We are more like room mates" post i have read on here.
I am a pretty happy go lucky guy so i know i have thought things will get better... but she always sees the negative in everything. And it's pretty hard to take.
She is going to see a doctor about her anxiety / lack of energy but can a little pill really make so much difference? 
I feel like i am the only one trying to save this marriage.. I want so much for my son to grow up in a happy home with two loving parents. But everyday feels like a step closer to the edge.
It's not like I don't help around the house either... I work 40+ hours a week, I try to make dinner every night. In fact if i don't do it then she will feed our son but usually that means we don't eat. I have been trying really hard to make us all have dinner together as i think that is important. When ever i ask her what she would like for dinner it turns into a fight. She has also told the therapist that she thinks i live a bachelor lifestyle and want to be on my own, which is not true. I don't know how much more I can do?
Also i don't want this to sound all one sided as I understand that a marriage is made up of two people, I am not perfect either 

So how long do i keep trying to make someone happy?


----------



## WalkingInLight (Aug 14, 2012)

Friend, I'm so sorry your hear but I'm glad you came.

It would appear that you are in the "love you but not in love with you" stage. Rather than type out a long winded message - may I simply suggest that you get the book on amazon called, Hold on to your N.U.T.s."

The book is easy to read and will help improve yur situation almost immediately.


----------



## Santa (May 31, 2012)

Or you can download "No More Mr Nice Guy" for free and start reading it right now. 

You are a "Nice Guy" and there is you and your wife's problem, lack of relationship, sex, etc. 


Also check out Married Man Sex Life | How to have the marriage you thought you were going to have. By which I mean doing it like rabbits.


It's time to take the red pill..... 

Get to reading and up your Alpha.


----------



## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

I wouldn't jump into books quite yet. If your wife is suffering from depression, I don't think "manning up" is what is needed. Have the doctor come up with a diagnosis first and then see if things can improve with therapy and medication.

BUT... if she is resistant to seeing a counselor or doctor, or taking medication that will help, that's the time that you have to put the suggested plans into action.


----------



## Aggie (Sep 5, 2012)

Cyberhenny said:


> can a little pill really make so much difference?


Yes, it can. If your wife is depressed, then she's not going to feel like anything she tries to do will make anything better.

Think about how you feel on one of your worst days: cynical, no motivation, irritable, angry, etc. That is how she is likely feeling all of the time until she gets snapped out of depression by a little pill.

Depression is hard, and although my wife hasn't had it, I've known several people that have had it. The main thing I've focused on when dealing with depressed people is that depression is temporary. You need to tread very carefully with her, and I suggest leaving the "manning up" until after the depression is dealt with.

Good luck

*Edit: When she's trying out new pills, be sure to watch her. I've known more than one person that attempted suicide on it. Sometimes the depression pills go the other way.


----------



## Cyberhenny (Sep 10, 2012)

Thanks Aggie...

I've never had to deal with any thing like this before... It's still 2 weeks away before she goes to the dr's but i really hope it helps her see that life is not all bad


----------



## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

> If your wife is suffering from depression, I don't think "manning up" is what is needed.


manning up is always needed. It's the core essence of a man's attractiveness regardless of how good/bad life is.

He's clearly a codependent nice-guy, otherwise, his wife's threats about separation would not send shivers down his body.

No More Mr. Nice Guy is a good start. He has to man up and face life with or without his wife.


----------

