# Critique dating websites for me



## Mo42 (Jul 25, 2013)

I am a soon to be divorced 42 year old. Will definitely be new to the new game. 

I have seen several references here to dating sites. 

Which sites have you used? What is good and what is not so good about the site? Which site would you avoid in the future? 

Just doing some prep work...thanks everyone.


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## Oldfaithful (Nov 27, 2013)

Plenty of Fish: plenty of cheap people who want sex 

But I know a few people who met people there who ended up in love. 

Eharmony: tedious


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Zoosk sucks. Match.com is good though.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

My STBW and I met on Match. The whole story is quite charming  It is a different experience depending on if you are a man or woman.


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## Pbartender (Dec 6, 2012)

I've recently gotten email adverts for a site called www.howaboutwe.com... I haven't tried it, but it looked interesting.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

From my experience early this year

Dating sites (I've tried Zoosk, Match.com, RSVP) -> 1/5 , cause most are fake/the ones that seem genuine had dealbreaker qualities/not interested in offline meetups, felt ripped off

Meetup.com -> 5/5 , cause EVERYONE you meet is interested in offline meetups... well duh, you meet up straight up after all lol
Free - except for perhaps lunch/drinks on the meetup location - which is normal. You will get exchange plenty, and I mean plenty of numbers. The problem I guess though is unlike a dating site, you can't really pick and choose who you meet up with, but that's real life!

But the thing is though, I'm around the age group where there's lots of scammers/fakes advertising as women around my age on dating sites. But anyways due to the amount of scams/fakes I have no idea how it would be as a 42 yr old or if the women there are more genuine. Meetup.com really impressed me, and the people there are all there for the same reason.

Btw I'm surprised you're asking on a forum, aren't there product review sites in the U.S.?


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## LoveSci (Nov 23, 2013)

Chemistry.com was disappointing. I had good luck with CraigsList. <3


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## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

I did POF and Eharmony..

I answered the 100's of questions asked on Eharmony and finished up the whole profile. It took days to do and answer as those questions with as much heartfelt honesty I had.

I discovered several of the woman in my area where on POF. They weren't interested in me on POF so I seen no reason on trying to connect on Eharmony.. But on Eharmony they knew exactly who I was because of how it worked.

Eharmony was a bit tedious, but it wasn't that bad..

I also discovered that *MANY* of the woman on POF were also on Match.com.. Again same results. Not interested on POF why would Match be different. 

Being the investigative type. I made up a fake account on POF and Match and looked around for months.. I would favorite woman I was interested and just watch for changes and activity. At one point I might have had 30 to 40 woman favorited..

What I discovered was some that were new like me soon would have some sort of variance of this on their profile.. I am not looking for a 3some, I don't want to be your woman on the side, I do not want to pictures of your pen1s, I am not looking for married men who want a one night stand.. You must have a job, must have a current picture.

So you can see that many men and yes, even women like to play games.. 

Meetup.com as was mentioned was pretty much what they said. Someone will post a singles night at bar and you go pay the cover and mingle. 

What I have learned is be honest despite the lies and dishonesty you see and read.. Be true to yourself, especially if you have kids..

I was very honest and open. My friend told me I said too much. The girls on the other hand liked what I said.. It made it easier for me when I met someone because I can just reflect on my profile. 

As an example I said I wear my heart on my sleeve. Which is true, I do.. I can't hide it.. If I am sad or happy you know it.. Nothing I can do about it.. I just don't try to fight it anymore.

I also said I am looking for a woman who is excited to see my phone call and is happy doing something Tuesday night as much as Saturday night because they are with me. 

I was honest and said I have trust issues and need an honest person. I don't have time for liars as I have too much to offer someone.. I can't waste my time on liars.. Once my trust is broken even in the slightest, I am done and gone.

You wouldn't go wrong with just doing all of them. POF,Match,Eharmony,craigslist, ETC. Though I didn't know about craigslist.


I will tell you that dating today is much easier than in your 20s..

You will know by the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd date where you stand sex wise.. 

I tended to shy away from women without kids.. I just don't think they understood having kids.. Many of their profiles read of wanting to vacations twice a year and go for weekend getaways when they could.. I don't have the luxury of doing that, especially not without my kids..

Currently dating a woman I met on *POF* for about 3 months.. She fell in love pretty quick.. I could see it in her face and eyes.. She was just all over me.. A month and a half in I told her you can tell me you love me its alright, you're not gonna scare me away.. She tried to play it off but that night after making love to her she crumbled.. It was cute and she hated me for being able to read her so well.

End result you never know..


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

If you do Match then do a Google search for coupon codes, they're legit, you can click through and get a decent discount. Just remember to cancel your subscription so you don't get auto-billed. 

I'm not really interested in having a domestic relationship as am good with my kids and me cruising through the rest of their childhood and teen years just the Three Amigos, fun and easy. Another person on board would create issues. We've been burnt and now having fun on our own, no surprises, no weird workarounds, no compromises to be had, have things the way we like them which to be honest is probably eccentric but makes sense to us so, whatever. Phhhht.

It was difficult for me to put on my profile that I'm looking for a get-together friend as I know some may take that as just looking to get laid which is not the case. I'd really like to have a friend, and not a FWB but a lover/friend. However, honestly, that's not something you can advertise for, how ridiculous. Can't live under a rock though. There is a guy I do like and care for but he lives in Tas, and while pretty close emotionally and definitely physical attraction and keep in touch and very good friends I don't believe in living in the future or the past. Again, no need to live under a rock. 

I do Meetup for dance classes. But that's not the be-all end-all for me, I like to do other things - ski, hike, movies, etc. but for a lot of dance people it is, just the be-all end-all. 

I might try Craig's List for ski buddies.


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## bravenewworld (Mar 24, 2013)

I tried ******* and everyone I met seemed pretty nice, even if it wasn't a romantic connection. Also, they all were who they said they were without any of the "misleading" photos I've heard horror stories about.

Question - I am helping a recently divorced neighbor set up an online dating profile. OKC seems to skew younger and she is in her mid 60's. Any recommendations on an age appropriate website?

In her words "Forget being a cougar, the guys on that site are going to think I'm a saber tooth tiger." :rofl:


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## badcompany (Aug 4, 2010)

In my limited experience, POF for quantity and match for quality.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Most people seem to be on multiple sites, especially the free ones. The pay sites usually deliver a better experience as more people there are sincere (after all, they are paying for this!). The pay sites each have their own look and feel, and their own approach or philosophy towards dating that affects how you can use the site and the kind of success you'll have, so pick one that matches your style. (Usually a free trial will give you sufficient information to decide, if you try several).

I had the best results by far on match, hated eHarmony (too restrictive and very tedious), and the other pay sites had fewer member in my area. PoF is a hit or miss proposition - usually miss, IMO, as there are lots of dead profiles from people just looking - or just looking for sex (and plenty of married cheaters too; has restrictive age range allowances for contacting others). ******* is better, but seems to have fewer members.


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## badcompany (Aug 4, 2010)

I wish that match had the "chemistry and needs" portion like POF does, I think that is important.


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## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

Oldfaithful said:


> Plenty of Fish: plenty of cheap people who want s*x


:lol:


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

RandomDude said:


> Meetup.com -> 5/5 , cause EVERYONE you meet is interested in offline meetups... well duh, you meet up straight up after all lol
> Free - except for perhaps lunch/drinks on the meetup location - which is normal. You will get exchange plenty, and I mean plenty of numbers. The problem I guess though is unlike a dating site, you can't really pick and choose who you meet up with, but that's real life!
> 
> But the thing is though, I'm around the age group where there's lots of scammers/fakes advertising as women around my age on dating sites. But anyways due to the amount of scams/fakes I have no idea how it would be as a 42 yr old or if the women there are more genuine. Meetup.com really impressed me, and the people there are all there for the same reason.


I'm with you. I really like Meetup.com. First of all, you can join a variety of groups through Meetup. While there are single groups with an emphasis on dating a lot of them are basically "social" Meetups where you get together and have fun with like minded people at gatherings, bars, restaurants, events, etc...So it's about making friends and having fun, which is basically what I'm all about. If I meet someone that I'd like to date then it's icing on the cake, but not THE cake!

For me, online dating has it all backwards. I want to meet someone and get to know them BEFORE I date them, not date them and decide if they are someone I want to get to know. Meetup allows me to do this. Online dating is too tedious, too many unknown factors and would just aggravate the hell out of me so I pass on that. 

With Meetup it's done the way I like it: In a "traditional" manner where you go out and MEET people, engage in conversation with someone who catches your eye and interests you and you take it from there. This is how I like to deal with potential dates. I want to PERSONALLY eyeball them and get a feel for what they are like before I spend time with them.

Another nice thing about Meetup is that you can "tailor" what groups you belong to. There are Meetup groups for everything from basket weaving to hiking to rock climbing. Meetup groups are out there for single parents and dog lovers to stamp collecting..You name it, there's a Meetup group for it. IMO, it's more likely you will meet someone if they share a common interest with you to begin with. 

At the very least I've met some great people and made friends through Meetup and have an active social life as a result of it. I go to events/parties all the time, which is a BIG help if you are newly single and went to get out, have some fun and meet people to date or just have fun and be friends with. 

Fortunately I'm content with my life "as is". I like being single, don't want to live with anyone or get married or even be involved in a long term, committed relationship. My life is going to change in a big way in a few years and I plan to move away so anyone who dates me now is going to have to accept that. I'm in for a good time: Nothing else, nothing more.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Hardtohandle said:


> You will know by the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd date where you stand sex wise..


:lol: :rofl: With me you'll know, cuz I don't sleep with anyone on the 1st, 2nd or 3rd date.  I find this whole "sex by the 3rd date" to be amazing. I've had my guy friends say "We're not kids anymore, what's the big deal?" :wtf: Def not my scene.


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