# Top five lies men tell their SO. Can be top five subjects rather than actual lie.



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

What are the top five or so lies men tell their wives, or subjects they may lie about, and think nothing/almost nothing of it?

(Inspired by @MaiChi 's question "do all men tell lies?")

😉


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Oh good grief. The top bazzillion lies people tell are the ones they think will get them what they want.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

Yes, I came.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

That dress does not make you look fat.
Sex is not that important to me.

But..."When you have something to say, silence is a lie"


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

CharlieParker said:


> Yes, I came.


Same for women. Oh and yes, you can find the man in the boat. 

(without a ****ing map)


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

I wasn't looking at her
Yes, the laundry is done
I will do it tomorrow (in my best Narrator voice "No, he had no intention of doing it tomorrow")
You look like a princess when you sleep
I didn't fart (meanwhile I lock the car windows so they can't be put down...)


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

CharlieParker said:


> Yes, I came.


I laughed out loud when I read this.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

I don’t watch porn.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

NobodySpecial said:


> Same for women. Oh and yes, you can find the man in the boat.
> 
> (without a ****ing map)


I've got to close the door. Another out loud laugh!!


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

This may reach the gazillion level 😆😆😆


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

According to my biking buddies, their greatest fear is that if they die, their wives will sell their bikes for what they told their wives they paid for them.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

EllisRedding said:


> I wasn't looking at her
> Yes, the laundry is done
> I will do it tomorrow
> You look like a princess when you sleep
> I didn't fart


 @EllisRedding 

We're thinking along the same lines.

My favorites:

I'll do it tomorrow or this weekend. 
I didn't fart (hard to skate on this one without kids or dogs)

Then the common ones:

I like it too.
That tastes fine dear.
We have to go to (wherever)? That's fine 
We have to be there when? That's fine.
No, I heard what you said.
I didn't hear you when you told me.
I didn't forget.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> According to my biking buddies, their greatest fear is that if they die, their wives will sell their bikes for what they told their wives they paid for them.


Best so far!

Mine, similar. DW will sell all my guitars and equipment, same!!


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

I won’t come in your mouth.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

I WILL come in your mouth. 

She asks...but I always chicken out at the last moment. I imagine it must be gross. Can’t help it.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Andy1001 said:


> I won’t come in your mouth.


dude, you will only be able to tell that lie once


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## Lukedog (Nov 18, 2015)

I don't drink (alcohol) every day.....


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

The bass was an 8 pounder! lololol


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

I have not eaten yet.

Of course I washed my hands after being in the bathroom.

Yes I made backups of all the family photos you took last year.

Your mom's ink cartridges for her inkjet are NOT refillable like ours are.

The lawn mower will absolutely tear up if I go into the woods with it to vacuum up all the leaves.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

badsanta said:


> Your mom's ink cartridges for her inkjet are NOT refillable like ours are.


My favorite.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

"I don't really like her all the much" ....or some permutation thereof.


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

"It's 8 inches baby, I measured it!!"


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

"I've got it all under control"


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## SongoftheSouth (Apr 22, 2014)

Of course I want your parents to visit for a week


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## Satisfied Mind (Jan 29, 2019)

I'd love to watch _______ (FITB with reality TV show of your choice) with you!

I'm not quite sure what this is, but it tastes great!

Any response to the question, "Did you remember to ______?"

This project will only take me an hour to finish.

No, I don't think your BFF is annoying at all.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

I didn’t know that!


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

No, I didn’t even notice you looking at that guy. By the way, what’s up with that dude, he looks like a douche. He seems like someone to avoid. Like maybe he is dangerous or insane. I can just tell these kinds of things, so you should listen to me here. That guy looks like bad news. Jealous?!! No! I’m just stating facts. I wasn’t even aware you were looking at him, until I totally noticed it and said something. But I only said something because I know you’re naive about how many bad guys are out there. 

....

No, I wasn’t looking at her. I thought it was someone else so I glanced that way. Why are you always so jealous and silly?


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Andy1001 said:


> I didn’t know that!


Add to that:

I don't recall / remember.

I didn't see it ...... even though I was there / maybe I was out of the room at that moment

I didn't hear that......


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## I'mAllIn (Oct 20, 2011)

My favorites:

“I put my phone on silent because I don’t want it to bother you Sweetness “.

“The company makes us put a passcode on our phone & laptop “.

“I know it looks bad, but it’s not what you think “.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

No I never thought of your sister while we are f-ing


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