# Not sure what to think or say...



## pearlsnap (Sep 21, 2010)

Alright, bare with me, this is my first time to ever write on of these. So, here it goes.

I literally just married my husband a few days ago. Last night I was adding some photos to an album, and while scrolling through the photos there were a few pics of some model he likes. That did not surprise me, i know that sometimes he takes care of business when i'm not around. But then there were seven pictures of some random girl amongst them. Most were shots of cleavage, and seductive poses, but they were of just some average looking girl. 

He was there so I asked him to come in, and I asked him who she was, and he said he didn't know. I called BS and asked again. First he tried to tell me that it must have been pics that were thrown in with the download, and he didn't realize they were there (whatever!) I erased them as he was leaving the room, telling me it's nothing and not to worry about it. Well, I got to thinking, and checked the creation times of the pics via their properties, and found out something different. I confronted him with that, and he admitted to downloading the pictures of this girl, and said he lied because he was embarrassed that he had left them on there for me to find. He also admitted to have done this before...geez

All of a sudden I am bothered by the fact that he is taking care of his business to women who are not models or sex symbols, but are instead regular and random women. How am I to know that this isn't someone he actually knows?? 

I was brought up that lust over another woman who is not your wife is adultery of the heart. I know I sound hypocritical because I knew that he had done this with pics of certain models and things, but those women were unattainable.  I don't know who this girl is...I just don't know! And now I have married him, and I do love him, I am just sick to my stomach over this, and have no one to talk to about this. Some input from anyone would help. Thanks!!!


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## hurtbyher (Nov 19, 2009)

Im not sure how to help you but the first question is why is he taking care of things himself? Do you not give him the attention he needs?


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## cb45 (Oct 2, 2009)

if ur rel'shp is that new, then u shouldnt both be ok w/ letting him or u satisfy yerselves via porn, pics, or other gals, fantasy wise.....u digg?

i dont get why u complain here if this is truly yer avant garde/laissez faire attitude?????

Speaking for myself, the only time i've looked at porn in my marriage, is when it wasnt just that........a marriage.
i.e., if she ref's to love honor cheirish obey as a W should in the bedroom, then the "W"e turns upside down into a "M"eBut thank God, this has been rare.

the usual for us is this: i see some fleshy scenes in R rated movies that i like, and it makes me think of my W or that we need to try this n that stuff for varieties sake. i even tried to fantasize re: others, to see if i could, but cant, only her.
again.....i thank God.


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## friendly (Sep 21, 2010)

Nothing really happened between them so have to swallow it but you can ask him for compensation  make him pay for your dream LV handbag now!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Why does he have to go take care of things himself? Aren't you available?


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

turnera said:


> Why does he have to go take care of things himself? Aren't you available?


He might be like me who needs sex the minute my wife even comes within 10 feet of me. I know that my wife could not keep up with my sexual needs so sometimes we gotta do what we gotta do.


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

pearlsnap said:


> All of a sudden I am bothered by the fact that he is taking care of his business to women who are not models or sex symbols, but are instead regular and random women. How am I to know that this isn't someone he actually knows??


I understand where you are coming from. If you are okay with him looking at the staged stuff, but not the real women, talk to him about how unsettling that is for you and that you feel that crosses a line for you that you are uncomfortable with. I would hope that he will be honest with you & agree to a compromise.


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