# Is the pain the same?



## SepticChange (Aug 21, 2011)

I read over many different stories of divorce and separation and heartbreak which had me feeling kind of selfish and whiny. Here are people who've been married 10-15-20 years with children who are splitting....but here I am having been married only 2 years and I feel like everything I was told was a lie and that everything has come crashing down. Has me thinking....do I feel the same as many of you but on a lesser level? He wasn't my high school sweetheart so he's not the only man I've ever known. But still. I feel like I should be thankful that it was only 2 years with no children (which I am) but I keep focusing on how heartbroken I am. Are there different levels of heartbreak and pain? Or is it all the same no matter how many years you've been together?

Just a thought. What do you guys think?


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

SepticChange said:


> I read over many different stories of divorce and separation and heartbreak which had me feeling kind of selfish and whiny. Here are people who've been married 10-15-20 years with children who are splitting....but here I am having been married only 2 years and I feel like everything I was told was a lie and that everything has come crashing down. Has me thinking....do I feel the same as many of you but on a lesser level? He wasn't my high school sweetheart so he's not the only man I've ever known. But still. I feel like I should be thankful that it was only 2 years with no children (which I am) but I keep focusing on how heartbroken I am. Are there different levels of heartbreak and pain? Or is it all the same no matter how many years you've been together?
> 
> Just a thought. What do you guys think?


The things that are the same?

It hurts like hell - because it involves lost dreams.

It's useless if you don't grow from it.


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## KNIFE IN THE HEART (Oct 20, 2011)

Don't you dare think that your pain is not as intense or you aren't entitled to feel the same depth of pain as someone who's been married longer. You deserve to feel whatever you feel. There is no right or wrong. You are going through the grieving process for the death of your marriage. Don't try to block out your feelings because it was "only" 2 years. There is a process that you must go through. It's the same steps that we all have to go through regardless of length of relationship, reasons for break-up, number of kids, etc. It's a tough process but it will get better with time. I'm not sure if the pain goes away but it gets easier to cope with. 

All the best to you!


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## SepticChange (Aug 21, 2011)

Thanks for the input. Perhaps you all are right. Reading over posts my heart goes out to so many of those who've been together years and are dealing with it. Kudos to all of you for hanging in there no matter how much it hurts.


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