# Not Sure



## friend1951 (Mar 26, 2012)

My wife and I have decided to try and rebuild our marriage, this is apparently easier said than done. I know it took us a long time to get to where we are but I seem to be having a problem with patience. We get a few good days under our belts and then I seem to lose focus. I know what I have to do but I just can't seem to grasp the notion. I am in a completely unsettled state and sometimes feel like I'm going to bounce off the walls. I know this isn't much to go on but I really don't know what to say. I welcome any questions that would help lead me out of this situation. I promise to answer any questions honestly.


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## pokey (Mar 26, 2012)

It's not a lot to go on. Do you have kids? How long have you been married? How much do you want to stay married? What do you mean you lose focus, and what have you been doing to rebuild? 
I do think I generally understand where you are coming from though, I think I've felt the same.


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## friend1951 (Mar 26, 2012)

Thank you for responding Pokey and I know it wasn't much to go on, I just didn't know what to say. We have no kids living with us, all of our children are actually adults now. We've been married for 8 years. I'm not sure how to answer the question about how much I want to stay married, more than words can say is about the best way I can put it. We are going to counselling together and I've been going a couple of times on my own. I moved out for a couple of months, which just about killed me. I've been trying to curb my control issues which I'm finding to be very hard but sometimes I tend to over react and that's what I'm referring to as losing my focus. My wife has a heart the size of a building and is a very caring person. I'm unsettled as I mentioned and there seems to be a lot of tension when we're with family or friends, enough that they notice it and of course would rather avoid socializing with me. I'm on edge because I have no idea how this will play out or how to get to where we want to be. I also tend to see the negative in a situation with no real reason for it, I'm trying to change that as well, become more of a positive person. I've been checking out information that I can get on the internet as well. I realize that the future of this relationship rests on my shoulders and I want to make it work but it's such a hard thing. I'm not looking to have anyone validate my situation, I'm looking for someone to talk me through it, help me. I thank you again Pokey and look forward to hearing from anyone who can help.


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