# Mom, why do you sound like you're miserable?



## WantingToFly (Apr 19, 2014)

I'm waiting another day or two to tell my son about our separation. I've been trying to put on a happy face even though I'm dying on the inside. 

Just now, he was commenting about his neighborhood friends. One of them doesn't actually live here, but stays a lot with his grandmother down the street. My son said, "He doesn't have ANYONE to play with at his real house! No one! When he's home, he just sits inside and does nothing because there's no one to play with!"

My son and I are the ones moving to an apartment away from his friends. I warned my husband this would happen. I warned him that a separation would jeopardize our son's happiness by ripping him away from the life that he knows. He....we.....threw away the opportunities we had to fix this. 

Why is this happening? Just when I was feeling stronger about this decision, that small bit of strength can come crashing down.


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## Heidi2005 (Oct 27, 2013)

What I am figuring out on this journey.. It is a wild, wacky roller coaster ride. It is a step forward and a step back. Sometimes it is two steps back. Each day you will make a bit of progress. 

Yes, the guilt with how it affects our children eats at us. 

At the end of the day, there aren't any short cuts. You just do the best you can.


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## WantingToFly (Apr 19, 2014)

Thank you for the encouraging words, Heidi. 

I sat down with him today and finally told him. It was the worst, most horrible thing I've ever had to do. He immediately broke down and cried...if I thought my heart was broken before, no way. Seeing my son cry and me being the reason? This feels like the bottom, you know?

One thing I can be fortunate for is that he did not ask if or say it was his fault. I just said over and over that Daddy and I have to work on getting along better and being in the same house isn't working. He said he wasn't mad, just very, very sad....sad because he didn't want to move, didn't want to live somewhere else, didn't want to miss playing with his friends. 

I hate myself. Right now, I hate my husband. I need to learn how to turn both of those around. 

I talked with my son's teacher to warn her of any odd behavior. She is divorced herself (and a friend of mine), so it was good to be able to talk with her for support. I'm glad that she is someone DS can lean on if he is upset during the day. And I'm lucky enough to work at the same school as DS, so I will have lunch with him tomorrow if he wants me to. It might make him too sad....I don't know. I have a feeling he doesn't want to talk about it.


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

where you want your child to stay, do you rent or own?


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## Pamvhv (Apr 27, 2014)

My separation and divorce papers came out of the blue. Son is four and he's having a really hard time with it. You're doing the best you can with what you have. Just keep being an awesome mom and provide him love, support, and stability in the way only you can.


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## Convict (Feb 16, 2014)

That moment of impact when it hits your children must be the most painful time any parent (father or mother) could go through. 

I really feel for u.

It's only a matter of time until me and my stbxw have our own little sit down with our two kids to walk them through our impending divorce....and it's already eating away at my soul. 

I know that moment, and many others afterwards, will be extremely difficult, but we should have faith that it will eventually work out okay for the kids despite the hurdles.


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