# Move Out or In: Separation at Home?



## Rememberist (May 26, 2015)

I'm currently in the "we need counseling" phase after my post-cancer wife decided our 14 years together was no longer working and asked for a separation. I'm trying to be reasonable and hope she comes to her senses about us, but I also don't want to screw up everything if this does end our marriage.

I've been reading up here, and a lot of the advice seems to say I should not leave the home without legal separation documents in place, essentially beginning the divorce process while I'm still at home.

North Carolina law seems to say that divorce cannot be accomplished until a separation of a year. Can you separate within the home? We are amicable (hell, I still love her). Do I have to leave at all? How do you explain to the kids that Mommy and Daddy are sleeping in separate bedrooms because she wants a divorce? Has anyone ever done this? Or has anyone ever moved out because their spouse asked, and then paid for it in the courts?


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## Happilymarried25 (Mar 19, 2014)

Don't leave your house or your bed. If she wants to separate let her make the moves. Don't tell your children anything. Just live in the house together be nice and try to work on your marriage.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

If she wants the marriage to end....which she does, as I have read your other threads on this same issue...then SHE can leave. She SHOULD be the one to leave. Lawyer up and tell her she needs to make other arrangements.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

What is the basis to the separation?


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## Rememberist (May 26, 2015)

In preparation to the divorce she thinks she wants. I'm hoping for reconciliation.


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## Rememberist (May 26, 2015)

Or did I misunderstand the question? What do you mean by basis?


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