# What's the best way to tell my fiancée that I will dating her best friend?



## yohanes (Feb 16, 2016)

I'll try to be brief. I met a woman while I was going through a difficult time in my life. We met on a dating website and moved our conversations to facebook. We became very close and started to date. During this time, I saw pictures of her best friend and I thought she was attractive. I kept this to myself for obvious reasons. So this woman became my girlfriend and we started to date regularly. There were even times when we went out and her best friend was there also, I've always stayed cool and calm around her best friend although I may have flirted a little in the past. 

So this woman and I decided to get married. A date isn't set yet but we are exclusive to each other. I mentioned that I met her during a dark time in my life because I've since come out of that time. I'm now a better man and I don't need her for the same emotional support that I needed her before. At this point, I started to question if I want to make a lifelong commitment to her. Sure she is beautiful, smart, and ambitious, but I just feel like she is pressuring me to marry her. She was adamant about getting married this past January but I made up excuses just to prolong myself and make sure I'm making the right decision.

So I've always been interested in her best friend but I never told her how I felt. We recently began talking on facebook and we end up chatting for hours everyday. I told her that I wish I could have met her first and she didn't seem surprised. She told me she liked me also but never pursued me since I was taken. She doesn't want to hurt her best friend but she also wants her own happiness as well as mine. So now, I'm at the point where I have strong feelings for this woman and I want to see where things will go. We have not slept with each other and our only interaction since telling each other how we feel is talking on facebook. We both would feel guilty if we slept with each other while I'm still engaged so we both think it's best that I call things off with my fiancée (her best friend). Of course, I know she will be hurt but the way I see it, it's better for her to be hurt now and move on rather than waste 5-10 years of each other's lives before realizing that it isn't meant to be. One of the reasons I want to leave my fiancée is that she is obsessed with me. Her whole day revolves around me and she wants to text back and forth 24 hours a day. Sometimes, I like to work on myself to become a better man and do my hobbies like working out and recording music. She had plenty of hobbies when we met but since falling in love with me, she just sits home and texts me. When I ignore her, she will just watch movies and relax with her sisters. She has no life outside of me and I hate that.

Anyway, I want to date her best friend now and see where it goes. I was thinking of just telling my fiancée that it is over and blocking her number and her best friend has agreed to do the same. The thing is, I'm sure she will find out one day since they are close and have plenty of mutual friends. Maybe she will be more hurt if she finds out another way that I'm dating her friend. So should I tell her who I'm dating and then block her or should I just let her be and she'll find out sometime down the line? Whatever happens, I'm glad I met my fiancée because if I didn't, I would have never met her best friend. Maybe if I can get her to see this, she will feel better if she truly wants me to be happy. Any advice would be appreciated.


----------



## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Just tell her you're having an emotional affair with her best friend and call off the wedding. It will hurt her to her core, but it's better for her if you just rip the bandaid off quickly so she can move on with her life and find a new best friend.


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Wow. Another fiancée/best friend thread.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Pass her a note from under the bridge.


----------

