# 50 shades, trying to understand



## movealong

Okay, so I download 50 shades to see what all the hoopla is about. Yea, I am a guy reading this. I am just now at the point where he brought her to Seattle. 

General impressions so far:

The writing is not atrocious, just horrible. It is hard to not laugh at the style, but I am muddling through it.

Already it seems a fairy tale-ish story. Wealthy business man (Prince Charming with an attitude) gets involved with sweet innocent girl (Peasant girl gets royal treatment).

Over all impression is that a confident wealthy man sweeps a girl off her feet and she is just oh so grateful to be noticed.

I hope there is more to this story than that. I believe it is just about to start the gratuitous sex dialogue, so I hope at least that part is written well.


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## devotion

Dave Barry Learns Everything You Need to Know About Being a Husband From Reading 50 Shades of Grey | TIME.com

I asked my girlfriend about this who says she has absolutely no interest in the behavior of this book, but actually owns the whole book series. She says its because everyone talked about it and hence she read through it, but honestly I find that confusing, because I understand buying the first book (like I bought the first book of the Hunger Games) but if you buy the whole series.. you got to have seen something?


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## Jellybeans

It's another book written about a woman with no personality/doormat behavior who needs a man to come and rescue her from her insecurities and perpetuates abuse. 

Writing is horrid and it was written as FANFICTION to Twilight. Twilight! 

Yeah, no. Not interesting to me.

50 Shades of S*t.

http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/wrong-50-shades-grey-article-1.1425419

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/carey-purcell/fifty-shades-of-grey-feminism_b_2395932.html


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## firebelly1

I'm with you movealong. I started reading and couldn't continue for the reasons you cited. My GUESS is that the women reading it aren't so much into the acts described but the man being in control. We like that in the bedroom more than we like to admit.


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## movealong

devotion said:


> Dave Barry Learns Everything You Need to Know About Being a Husband From Reading 50 Shades of Grey | TIME.com
> 
> I asked my girlfriend about this who says she has absolutely no interest in the behavior of this book, but actually owns the whole book series. She says its because everyone talked about it and hence she read through it, but honestly I find that confusing, because I understand buying the first book (like I bought the first book of the Hunger Games) but if you buy the whole series.. you got to have seen something?


What an informative article!! LMAO! I think most men could've written it without reading the book.


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## movealong

firebelly1 said:


> I'm with you movealong. I started reading and couldn't continue for the reasons you cited. My GUESS is that the women reading it aren't so much into the acts described but the man being in control. *We like that in the bedroom more than we like to admit.*


_That_ makes sense.

I like to be in control 95% of the time, but damn, sometimes I just want the woman to walk in and initiate like she means it. None of the demure BS, just come up to me and start in. And for fvck sake, act like you're a sexual creature. LOL!


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## Cooper

I read a lot and admit all the hoopla caught my interest so I started on the first book but didn't finish it. It was nothing more than a drug store romance novel that someone did a great job at marketing. Poorly written and as soon as I realized the characters were shallow and I wasn't connecting to them I was done.


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## ne9907

I made it to page 2....


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## Pamvhv

I had to read and study this for my job before it was picked up by a real publisher. They fixed most of the writing issues and it's still ****. It's a romance novel. All romance novels have tropes. This one has the tropes of:

Billionaire that is broken
Girl who wants to save him
Hot (I guess I found it underwhelming) sex

Three tropes is the perfect amount for a romance novel.


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## Almostrecovered

not much plot or sex to this, but it was an easy read and informative


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## clipclop2

That Dave Barry article was a riot!

So is that the actual plot of the book? Really? LOL!


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## SamuraiJack

I read a few pages...sorta like Dr Suess for bored housewives...


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## Jellybeans

The dumbing down of women in books and making them as exciting as burnt toast is something I am so sick of.

Regression is so 17th century.


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## movealong

SamuraiJack said:


> I read a few pages...sorta like Dr Suess for bored housewives...


Dr. Seuss has a story with something to "learn". I am trying to figure out if there is something to "learn" from reading the story. If the gist of it is men need to take control in the bedroom, I am done reading after I post this, lol!


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## movealong

Jellybeans said:


> The dumbing down of women in books and making them as exciting as burnt toast is something I am so sick of.


That's how I feel about men in commercials these days. Talk about mixed signals. Books says "fvck me like a trollip you stud" and the commercial says "you're an idiot I wouldn't want to fvck on a bet".

Wouldn't it be so much easier to just say what you want/need and cut out the guessing? But, no, the marketing world would crater.


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## Married but Happy

Almostrecovered said:


> not much plot or sex to this, but it was an easy read and informative[/QUOTE]
> 
> That's because you only covered 42 shades - the last 8 are probably the best!


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## Jellybeans

movealong said:


> Talk about mixed signals. Books says "fvck me like a trollip you stud"


That book is ridiculous. For all the reasons I mentioned.


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## ne9907

Jellybeans said:


> That book is ridiculous. For all the reasons I mentioned.


:rofl:

how about this 
"i want to be your little fvck doll" haha, i read it on line


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## COGypsy

movealong said:


> That's how I feel about men in *commercials* these days. Talk about mixed signals. Books says "fvck me like a trollip you stud" and the commercial says "you're an idiot I wouldn't want to fvck on a bet".
> 
> Wouldn't it be so much easier to just say what you want/need and cut out the guessing? But, no, the marketing world would crater.


Commercials? Commercials? What are these "commercials" that you speak of? I think I vaguely recall annoying noises between scenes on TV shows. Switching to DVR and online viewing fixed that problem though :rofl:


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## Maneo

strange how all the comments here are negative and yet the books made millions. someone must have enjoyed it. Marketing helps but thousands of other books have clever marketing with nary the impact. I haven't read it so couldn't say one way or the other.


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## clipclop2

This is about sex.

That's what makes it different.


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## Rowan

I'm an unabashed fan of romance novels. I've read thousands of them in my lifetime, and enjoy the genre as a whole. I like a nice fantasy, well written, with an actual plot and at least a stab at character development. I'm good with a certain amount of fairy tale-ness, and don't mind a bit of healthy sex between healthy consenting adults. I don't like bad writing, gratuitous or violent sex, a hero who's a [email protected], or a heroine who is TSTL (too stupid to live). Characters who clearly display strong traits of various personality disorders just aren't fun to read about. If I'm going to blow 8 hours or so reading a novel, I'd rather have it at least be an interesting and fun read. 

So, both the 50 Shades series and the Twilight series were both a firm "no" for me. I made it half-way through the first Twilight book and about 5 pages into 50 Shades. So, no, I don't get it, either. 

If I want dark, brooding, damaged and dangerous men, and the women who love them, I can watch every episode of Buffy on Netflix. Without wanting to slap some sense into the female lead.


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## Jellybeans

Maneo said:


> strange how all the comments here are negative and yet the books made millions. someone must have enjoyed it.


Oh it's not that surprising. We live in a culture that glorifies the Kardashians. Just because it makes money doesn't make it great.


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## 3Xnocharm

Ok I admit I read the whole series. What can I say, I enjoy smut!  But by the last book, I just couldnt wait for it to be over, the writing so just..so ...horrible!....but I was committed by then, lol! 

And I have to admit that I LOVED the Twilight series! I did!  The movies kinda messed it up for me though. And actualy that series got my daughter into reading, that made me happy!


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## Wolf1974

My greatest fear in life is that I am getting dragged to this movie by my GF


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## Ripper

Wolf1974 said:


> My greatest fear in life is that I am getting dragged to this movie by my GF


I've stashed a cyanide capsule away for the occasion.


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## Wolf1974

Ripper said:


> I've stashed a cyanide capsule away for the occasion.


Any extra? I have to admit my Gf isn't too bad. She won't drag me to the total chic romance movies. But this one in particular don't see any way around it


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## Ripper

Wolf1974 said:


> Any extra?


Just the one. I fully intend to go down swinging. If I wake up tied to a theater chair, its the last resort.


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## COGypsy

I see SO much mileage coming from this movie. It's going to make "Magic Mike" (or whatever that stripper movie was) look like a church picnic!

I can see it now.

GF: "Hey babe, why don't we go see that 50 Shades movie tonight?"

BF: <gasp, choke, fidget> "Um....well....I mean.....I think..."

GF: "You know what? Never mind. We can go visit my mother instead. I think she probably needs her colostomy bag changed..."

BF: "YES! Er....I mean, it's been so long since we've seen dear old Mom. I bet she'd appreciate a nice visit!"


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## Wolf1974

COGypsy said:


> I see SO much mileage coming from this movie. It's going to make "Magic Mike" (or whatever that stripper movie was) look like a church picnic!
> 
> I can see it now.
> 
> GF: "Hey babe, why don't we go see that 50 Shades movie tonight?"
> 
> BF: <gasp, choke, fidget> "Um....well....I mean.....I think..."
> 
> GF: "You know what? Never mind. We can go visit my mother instead. I think she probably needs her colostomy bag changed..."
> 
> BF: "YES! Er....I mean, it's been so long since we've seen dear old Mom. I bet she'd appreciate a nice visit!"



In a heartbeat I would go see mom lol


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## SARAHMCD

There is much better erotica out there than this. I couldn't get through it - made it to about page 70 before finally throwing it across the room. Horribly written. Must have had a great marketing machine behind it. 

Why women like this stuff? In general, women prefer a man to take charge in the bedroom. I understand the appeal of being a submissive - there's a strange power knowing by doing almost nothing but being you, your man is completely turned on and can't get enough of you. Very hot. 

However, in this story, the girl was so naive and wimpy - a completely unlikeable and unbelievable character - and he was a narcissist with no soft core under that shell. Plus, there was virtually no story!! No secondary theme, nothing. 
I'm betting the movie version will have a negative star rating. I can't imagine how they can make it viewable.


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## movealong

I gave up on it. It is not worth the headache of reading through the horrible writing.


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## movealong

movie trailer

Looks as good as the book.

/sarcasm


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## firebelly1

SARAHMCD said:


> There is much better erotica out there than this.


Can you suggest some? I've been searching on Goodreads and not having any luck because everything is compared to this stupid series.


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## movealong

Anne Rice did a series that is the forerunner to most of the bondage/Dom erotica. It was.....interesting....

Sleeping-Beauty-Trilogy-Box-Set


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## devotion

Since this was brought up again I asked my girlfriend about it, and she keeps telling me she just read it because everyone else was reading it. It still doesn't add up because she has the whole series -- I can understand reading one book because of peer pressure, but the whole series? 

I must admit I have some sort of weird reverse interest in the movie, because at least a movie is two hours wasted of my life to see what the hell this thing was about, while reading it would take me a lot longer than two hours. And maybe there'd be some nice nudity in it. LOL I am still a guy, after all.


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## Wolf1974

movealong said:


> Anne Rice did a series that is the forerunner to most of the bondage/Dom erotica. It was.....interesting....
> 
> Sleeping-Beauty-Trilogy-Box-Set


Read this myself and also recommend


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## Arendt

Are you looking to read an actually good novel?


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## 3Xnocharm

movealong said:


> Anne Rice did a series that is the forerunner to most of the bondage/Dom erotica. It was.....interesting..
> 
> Sleeping-Beauty-Trilogy-Box-Set


The first book was the best!  

Its not really what I would call "erotica", but I really enjoyed the (super huge!) Anita Blake series of books by Laurell Hamilton. Not only is there a LOT of hot sex, but vampires, zombies, werewolves and all kinds of different supernatural/paranormal stuff!


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## GusPolinski

Jellybeans said:


> It's another book written about a woman with no personality/doormat behavior who needs a man to come and rescue her from her insecurities and perpetuates abuse.
> 
> Writing is horrid and it was written as FANFICTION to Twilight. Twilight!
> 
> Yeah, no. Not interesting to me.
> 
> 50 Shades of S*t.
> 
> What's wrong with ‘50 Shades of Grey’ - NY Daily News
> 
> Carey Purcell: Fifty Shades of Feminism - A Response to E. L. James' 'Fifty Shades of Grey'


JB... ^that's awesome!


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## clipclop2

I just can't get into that kind of thing.


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## Pandakiss

I think more men are buying this crap then women, of course online you can be anyone, and I have yet to come across one single guy who is willing to say out loud to my face that they love 50 shades. 

I personally think this book is dangerous. It is not the way BDSM is. It's not the way BDSM goes. From the snippets I have came across umm Eric Jerome D writes waaayyyyy better sex, way better. 

A true dom is not abusive. I have also heard the writer did not one ounce of homework on the lifestyle. That's kinda like Rachel Ray being a fraud and she never cooked sh!t and never penned a single book and Rachel Ray isn't even her name......you would think twice about the whole cuteness of "30 minutes" show. 

Years ago when the first book was out, I skimmed it, and although knowing 1% about BDSM I still knew it wasn't right. Right off the bat, I though it was abuse. When you ignore the safe word, it's rape. 

So this doosshh (I refuse to call him a "Dom") comes home and beats the crap outta her ass and when she says "NO", continues to abuse her, oh AND she's a virgin.......

I fear this movie coming out....dear god all the guys who think "I wanna be a dom too", and thinking "oh, I just beat a b!tch ass and that's all there is it that". 

SMDH


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## Maneo

Wait Rachel Ray is a fake?


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## clipclop2

no I think she beats her eggs fairly and squarely. They just have yet to utter the safe word..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EnjoliWoman

Eh, I read them because a friend bought them and loved them. I think in addition to the prince/peasant Disney theme going on, there is also the "I changed him!" - in other words, her love was so powerful she was able to get him to open up and engage in sex in an emotional way and not just a physical way.

And the writing of the sex scenes is atrocious. And yes, it's about enjoying the man being dominant and taking control in the bedroom which most women like or prefer. (ETA - the popularity is about enjoying the male taking control; not necessarily what the book itself is about.)


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## clipclop2

She broke up with him though. So what were the other books about?


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## SamuraiJack

clipclop2 said:


> She broke up with him though. So what were the other books about?


Rebound beatings?:rofl:


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## clipclop2

Dear TAM....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EnjoliWoman

clipclop2 said:


> She broke up with him though. So what were the other books about?


They get back together and eventually get married. She confronts his abuser at some point - apparently a family friend and that's when his mother finds out he was sexually abused by mother's good friend. 

I am a book wh0re. I don't care how bad it is, once I start reading I have to know how it ends. So yep, read them all. But I wouldn't have paid for them.

I think they had a huge following because it felt "naughty" to read them even if they weren't well written so prudish middle-aged women could tsk tsk about them around friends and secretly fantasize about sex they weren't having.


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## Arendt

EnjoliWoman said:


> I am a book wh0re. I don't care how bad it is, once I start reading I have to know how it ends. So yep, read them all. But I wouldn't have paid for them.


I love books too. But if it bores me I put it down and stop (unless I have to read it for some other reason). These books sound terrible. Thanks for the synopsis. 

Somebody should start a thread on books worth reading. 

I also don't understand the phenomenon of adults reading literature meant for teenagers.


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## EnjoliWoman

This book was NOT meant for teenagers. God I hope not.

Twilight was, but I think this was more for the adult fans.

ETA - there was a book thread in Social.


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