# "Spiral of Resentment"; metrosexuals and spiteful women



## Andre2000 (Jul 2, 2009)

This is mainly a question for BigBadWolf since EVERYTHING he writes resonates with me in what I know to be true. I want to start a discussion on your concept of "spiral of resentment".
Did you get that from some book on relationships or did you coin that term? It explains what goes on perfectly in modern relationships!

So first off we know that "spiral of resentment" does happen, and it's pretty much guaranteed to happen nowadays unless the man becomes aware and learns to grow into a man unhindered.

I want to discuss this a little....where do you think the spiral of resentment starts? Someone has to start it!


Here is my view on this:
I think I, as a man, start the spiral by me acting like a woman and NOT a man. and you are right...because the resentment does start right away. I have to put a lot of energy into acting MALE without guilt. WHen I do, I have intense but brief relationships.


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## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

Can you describe acting like a woman? I'd be interested in knowing what that entails.


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## Andre2000 (Jul 2, 2009)

It means gender wise, everything that is acceptable for a woman to do or is expected for a woman to do.

For example, I'm the mother in this (divorced) relationship. I am mommy, while she goes to work and pays ME child support. Hey man, even when she was breastfeeding, she refused to do it, and started pumping and guess who was the one giving the bottle everynight and everyday? Eventually she quit breastfeeding and switched to formula, and it was ENTIRELY my responsibility.

I became the emotional one, and cried a few times when I was really hurt by her actions...boy did I not have one shoulder to cry on. Actually I was treated like sh*t for it which made it worse!

If I'm not aware of it, I follow her the females lead, sometimes even demanding it (not aware) and I become selfconscious about my appearance looking for female acceptance.

This doesnt end. Are you denying that there exists genders? Just reverse it and this is what I'm talking about. It inevitably leads to spiral of resentment.


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## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

No, I recognize their are gender roles whether they be natural or a result of societal standards. 

I just wanted to know what YOU thought acting like a woman was, and I think you pretty much nailed it. 

If your ex wife pays you child support, does that mean she made more than you/worked more hours than you when you were married?


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## Andre2000 (Jul 2, 2009)

My exwife was abusive and controlling and while she was that way there was NO sex and the relationship really suffered, mostly I suffered. One of the things I wasn't allowed to have was a job. She used the excuse of me being in school so I should not have a job she said. At the same time, she complained about working and having all the financial responsibility, so I would take up work from time to time despite her protests, and I would deposit ALL of my scholarships and financial aid into our accounts (roughly $20,000/year in financial aid+scholarships and about $10,000/year in work money). But till this day she still doesnt acknowledge that.

Once I graduated, I started waking up and divorced her. Now I can't find work, and I blame the relationship for that not only the economy because she didn't allow me to get internships which were offered to me in my senior year of college.

She seemed to enjoy it in a sedistic way, her abuse towards me, and during this time she was not attracted to me, she despised me. She got a thrill in seeing me suffer and she getting her way with me in day to day things, yelling at me, humiliating me in public. When I would reverse the roles and I would put my foot down, yell really loud, then we would have intense sex if she wasn't hitting me. It got so rediculous that when she would pick a fight with me, I could just grab her and rip her clothes off and she would love it. If I just stood there and took it, it would get worse. If I acted understanding she would find a way to disrespect me, then deny it. If I would talk back, she would raise the bar in her abuse until she almost killed me with a hammer once. I didn't know what was going on until now.

During her abusive streaks, she was out tramping around with a**hole men. Men that feminist claim to hate. I would find out and be like "You slept with...HIM?!?!" 
She also ended up have a one nighter with some butch-**** lesbian. I still have the email where she sought her for a date. Makes sense, miss butchy-lesbian acted like a man, my-ex loved it even if her penis was plastic...


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## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

OMG! I'm so sorry you were in such a horribly abusive relationship. What you described totally sucks. Your ex wife has issues. 

I think we women go through our own "spiral of resentment" when we aren't treated like women. During the time my husband didn't have job and refused to look, I totally lost respect for him. It was a rough time, but I never treated him like your ex wife treated you. She was a total witch to you.


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## Andre2000 (Jul 2, 2009)

Yea not all women react that way, but the resentment will always be there when roles are reversed like that. The reaction of the woman to the resentment depends on the woman. It took me a LONG time to trust women again in any shape or form. I started thinking ALL women were abusive.

Then one day I remembered watching a show (a long time ago) about some woman that was scared of dogs because she was attacked by one. She hated dogs, all dogs. At just a picture of a dog, she would have some kind of breakdown.

I finally realized that Misogyny was not the answer....I love dogs, they can be loving animals, but I would not just trust ANY dog. You have to get to know them and figure out if they are safe. 

Same goes for women. Not saying women are dogs but the logic is the same. Goes for anyone actually. So I'm taking it a step at a time. I did notice though, acting MALE gets me respect from everyone, and can and will protect me from any abuse in the future. It's so un-manly to be abused by anyone! It's so passive!

My ex was just really nutty, and this society helped her and rushed to her aid for every false accusation she made. As a man in a reversed role, I was not only left behind, but society didn't respond to me very well either. Yea I got my child support, but even the courts despised me and imposed minimum wage on my child support even when I didn't have a job. They didn't care. They would never do that to a woman, they would suck the man for everything he had.


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## Andre2000 (Jul 2, 2009)

O yea, and my ex and her lawyer were so troubled by the fact that she had to pay spousal support that they asked me to lump it in with the child support and just call it child support. I didn't care so I agreed, but if I didn't, she would have dragged me into court for it. 

Craziness....


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## st014 (May 26, 2010)

I can totally relate to that. My wife and I were running a business and I would ask her about the money she was removing from the business where it was going, as I was a partner in the business and felt I had a right to know where $15000 U.S. within a one month period then $10000 the next was going. She refused to tell me where the money was going she admitted to having accounts in Vietnam the area where supplies were purchased but refused to give me any detail about the accounts or how the money was transferred for business inventory. The more I insisted the more angry she became. Eventually she started punching me- in the face- and split right in my face. She taunted me saying 'hit me, come on hit me' trying to get me to react in a voilent way in order to get me arrested. I did not respond in violence I saw her manipulative game. She then told me not to come into the store we co-owned and took all the sales and profit from both the retail and wholesale operations totalling over $ 200, 000 in sales. If I faught her I would look like the ******* and bully. She kept taunting me about court saying things like 
'if you don't like it take me to court' then saying 'are you too chicken to?' I know she had something up her sleeve and decided to move on. I don't like to make generalizations but often women get away with it because the man is expected to take care of his wife financially. Feminists overlook any injustice that doesn't directly affect the adult woman. Feminists will look at abuse that occurs to them and economic fairness for themselves not for the union. When I came into this marriage I had $ 100,000 in assets she took everything and she owns everything because she found a way to focus on my weaknesses to avoid having me look at hers. I will never get married again. The system and trend in society promotes individuality and women's rights beyond any sense of fairness or equality within a union of a man and woman. This movement has severely damaged the family unit on the whole and the ability for the western world families to be efficient economically and emotionally as it creates disharmony, with the injustice of the system based on warped attitudes. If feminists think this is helping families it isn't its creating alot of alienation of the children and bitterness in everyones' hearts. All for more power and control. If you think that is strong believe me it is not. To manipulate the courts to get more for yourself is not strong it is weak.


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## st014 (May 26, 2010)

I can totally relate to that. My wife and I were running a business and I would ask her about the money she was removing from the business where it was going, as I was a partner in the business and felt I had a right to know where $15000 U.S. within a one month period then $10000 the next was going. She refused to tell me where the money was going she admitted to having accounts in Vietnam the area where supplies were purchased but refused to give me any detail about the accounts or how the money was transferred for business inventory. The more I insisted the more angry she became. Eventually she started punching me- in the face- and split right in my face. She taunted me saying 'hit me, come on hit me' trying to get me to react in a voilent way in order to get me arrested. I did not respond in violence I saw her manipulative game. She then told me not to come into the store we co-owned and took all the sales and profit from both the retail and wholesale operations totalling over $ 200, 000 in sales. If I faught her I would look like the ******* and bully. She kept taunting me about court saying things like 
'if you don't like it take me to court' then saying 'are you too chicken to?' I know she had something up her sleeve and decided to move on. I don't like to make generalizations but often women get away with it because the man is expected to take care of his wife financially. Feminists overlook any injustice that doesn't directly affect the adult woman. Feminists will look at abuse that occurs to them and economic fairness for themselves not for the union. When I came into this marriage I had $ 100,000 in assets she took everything and she owns everything because she found a way to focus on my weaknesses to avoid having me look at hers. I will never get married again. The system and trend in society promotes individuality and women's rights beyond any sense of fairness or equality within a union of a man and woman. This movement has severely damaged the family unit on the whole and the ability for the western world families to be efficient economically and emotionally as it creates disharmony, with the injustice of the system based on warped attitudes. If feminists think this is helping families it isn't its creating alot of alienation of the children and bitterness in everyones' hearts. All for more power and control. If you think that is strong believe me it is not. To manipulate the courts to get more for yourself is not strong it is weak.


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