# dealing with the hurt



## memphisman (May 29, 2011)

i made a post on here not too long ago http://talkaboutmarriage.com/mens-clubhouse/55615-got-some-trust-issues.html and i'm overall done. the divorce is slow process and i considered maybe trying to work things out but it doesn't seem possible to do anything because i'm so angry and bitter towards her. even more so because she doesn't seem to understand in the slightest how i feel. so my question is how do you other guys deal with the hurt, the betrayal. The fact the my family will never be the same. the fact that i will only get to see my daughter half the time i deserve to see her...my wife has my heart and i don't think i'll ever get it back. to ever be able to share with someone else. everything is spinning out of control and i feel like i'm losing it. it's a fight every day for me to just not give up and fall into a depression.


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## Bensdad123 (Oct 6, 2012)

dude i feel like im in the same boat lately brother. if you read some of my posts you will understand. the biggest feelings lately are the feelings of wanting to have an affair....


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## Clark G (Sep 5, 2012)

I have been exactly where you are as have many who've gone through a divorce and are now succeeding on the other side.

I will tell you what you said was me 2.5 years ago - however how did I deal with it? I faced it head on.

This was tough - I won't lie but I didn't look for happiness at the bottom of a bottle or via other women (although they eventually came along which was helpful).

I determined to be happy internally and now was teh time via all this change and turmoil to look deep and figure out who I wanted to be as a man.

I read books, went to church, listened to cd's by folks like Tony Robbins on how to manage my states and emotions.

I joined a divorce support group (this happened later and it was nice to help others like yourself).

My ex began dating another man who she is still with even before we were divorced so he's always been a sore spot but my relationship with my son got better actually. and so did my relationship with old friends and new ones. now i was able to spend quality time with everyone without feeling guilty.

Example. I remember my coworkers asking about going to happy hour one day. At first I actually felt guilty and hurried but then realized that I had nobody to answer to or go home to and it was liberating to say the least. I felt free!!!!!

I began exercising, created a bucket list, and eventually started dating some very attractive women (more than 1 at a time) which built my confidence further.

I will say if you think you can work it out go for it. Save your marriage, but if you are unable the grass can be greener on the other side for you my friend but you may have to go through hell first and don't be afrraid of it. Just take it one day at a time.

Joe

Oh and PS I have since met a woman who I've known for a very long time but we have reconnected and she matches with me better than anyone of the opposite sex ever has. This coming from a guy who really didn't care if I was alone the rest of my life or not.


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## WalterWhite (Sep 14, 2012)

You can be very happy after divorce. Life goes on, you heal. Don't have putty parties and focus on what you gain, not what you loser. I know from first hand experience. This too will pass.


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## memphisman (May 29, 2011)

thanks, you guys are great support. Some days it feels like it's never going to end. But it's good to know it's not "the end of the world" as i feel like its gonna be sometimes.


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