# Needing some sound advice



## Willowsage24 (Jan 14, 2014)

Here is a little history first, I know of his past and that there are a lot female friends (with benefits) in his past. I know he cares and loves me. But I have been hurt in a previous relationship with cheating and verbal and mental abuse, that I know caused me to have issues. We have been together over 3 years now, I know we are committed to each other and are planning a future together. We have had a issue in a past with a married friend of his was causing issue early on in our relationship. The married friend did not like me and I did not like her but I did try to get along with the couple for my bf, He had known this couple for over 10 years. They had an issue with him not being able to hang out with them all the time and the wife even was trying to get my bf to come over when the husband was not home. My guy told me everything and he did not feel comfortable going over without me or when the husband was not home. That friendship is no longer an issue we and they have moved on. 
Just the other day I my bf sent me a text letting me know that He was going to meet up with a old friend, He did ask me to come along but I had already committed to another event with our 3 yo daughter. I did not know until I received a called when He was heading home that it was a female friend and her boyfriend. I did get upset and hurt that He did not tell me beforehand that is was a female friend. This female friend was a friend with benefits. He did tell me she was in committed relationship with her current boyfriend. Here is where I am having issues. They are texting each other all day long, sending good morning to each other, she is texting him good morning handsome/sunshine/cutie. She has even gone as far to mention his night time routine and how much she has missed it. I have read the text message and she is extremely flirting. My bf has told me that in the past when he had known her she has never been faithful in a relationship and had been with him when she has been in a relationship. Plus when he was in a previous relationship from us she tried numerous times to get in bed with him, but he stopped it. My bf has told his friend that He is in a relationship with me and wants us to meet. I have told my bf I was hurt by Him withholding bits of information about when He was first going to meet this old friend. He said He did want me to be alarmed me by who He was going to meet with. He told me He loved me and is in love with me. He was never in love with this friend He did care for her but it was not love never was. He does like talking with her. I felt like I was just being put at easy. Usually I hear from Him lots of time during the day, seeing how I am doing and how my day is going but nothing at all today, I just want to cry. I am currently 3.5 months pregnant and it has been a rough pregnancy. I don't know how to express myself without feeling like a jealous person. My bf does not really have a lot of friends and I know he is trying to establish friendships outside of our relationship which I am fine with just not with past hook ups, but I am afraid to say it. He even threw into our talks about doing double dates with this girl and her boyfriend. I am just being a "pregnant woman"? Am I reading too much into this? I am at the point where he is not getting how uncomfortable I am with him talking/text her that I am about to tell him to stop or get out. Which I know will be extremely hard but I can not take it I will not take it. I need to be mental and physical health for my daughter and unborn child


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Willowsage24 said:


> *This female friend was a friend with benefits. *He did tell me she was in committed relationship with her current boyfriend. Here is where I am having issues. *They are texting each other all day long, sending good morning to each other, she is texting him good morning handsome/sunshine/cutie. She has even gone as far to mention his night time routine and how much she has missed it. I have read the text message and she is extremely flirting. *


Crossing the lines (she is). He needs to shut it down.

It's good that he invited you go out with her AND her boyfriend but seriously, why would you want to?


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

I have had several FWB, where the benefits stopped and the friendship remained. None has ever crossed the line when I was in a relationship, and whenever I was in a serious relationship (especially one where monogamy was an expectation), my partner met any of my former FWB with whom I stayed in contact. I am good at setting and keeping boundaries, and would not tolerate inappropriate conduct from an ex-FWB. They'd be warned, then cut off from contact if they persisted.


----------

