# I kept my integrity



## Served Cold (May 25, 2014)

To make a long story short, I was recently pursued by the wife of the Other Man in my marriage. It was sweet Karma, that the man who cheated with my wife was now married to a cheater. To be honest, it was tempting. I didn't go looking for revenge but revenge basically landed in my lap. 

I had divorced my wife and have been moving forward. I will continue to move forward. I realized that these fools are their own worst enemies, they don't need my help in ruining their own lives.

I'm still raw and jaded more than ever. I'm hopeful that I haven't lost my faith in humanity.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

So you had an affair with the wife of the man your wife had an affair with?


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## Served Cold (May 25, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> So you had an affair with the wife of the man your wife had an affair with?


No, I rejected her. She doesn't know about her husband's past.


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> So you had an affair with the wife of the man your wife had an affair with?


 No he did not have an affair with her, but he said that he was "tempted".


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

It is good you avoided her advances. It's drama no one really needs.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

TRy said:


> No he did not have an affair with her, but he said that he was "tempted".


I was just clarifying...


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Served Cold said:


> No, I rejected her. She doesn't know about her husband's past.


You didn't tell her about his affair with your wife? You should have.. really. That would have been priceless.


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## Served Cold (May 25, 2014)

thatbpguy said:


> It is good you avoided her advances. It's drama no one really needs.


Exactly, it would have been like swimming in a sewer of drama and I was never one for bull****.

I don't go looking for crazy but it's like crazy keeps knocking on my door.

I'm relieved I stepped away.


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## Served Cold (May 25, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> You didn't tell her about his affair with your wife? You should have.. really. That would have been priceless.



I met this woman at a business conference, she was flirting and at first I was attracted to her. She gave the impression of being single, no wedding band. It wasn't until later I learned she was married and it was like a punch to my gut her surname was that of the other man. 

It was like a bad dream, listening to her complain about how unhappy she was in her marriage. 

It was surreal, she was the wife of that *******. I would have told her, but she was no better than that the jerk.


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## cuchulain36 (Jul 8, 2014)

The more time I spend on this site the more I think everyone here is full of s***. Banging the wife of the dude who banged your wife? Or her throwing herself at you? A nice thought for those of us who are justice or revenge minded, but probably didn't realistically happen. It doesn't happen, it just doesn't...


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## Served Cold (May 25, 2014)

cuchulain36 said:


> The more time I spend on this site the more I think everyone here is full of s***. Banging the wife of the dude who banged your wife, or her throwing herself at you? A nice thought but probably didn't realistically happen. It doesn't happen...


I wouldn't have imagined it myself. My god...I can't count the amount of times I stopped myself from beating the **** of that guy after I found out about my wife cheating on me. There were times I was in my car heading out to fist slam him into the ground.

My friends and family talked sense into me. He was not worth going to jail for.

I wouldn't believe it myself, it's so freaking ironic. It's like how I believed my sweet wife would have never cheated. It's so freaking surreal.


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## gmsisko1 (May 25, 2014)

Served Cold said:


> I wouldn't have imagined it myself. My god...I can't count the amount of times I stopped myself from beating the **** of that guy after I found out about my wife cheating on me. There were times I was in my car heading out to fist slam him into the ground.
> 
> My friends and family talked sense into me. He was not worth going to jail for.
> 
> I wouldn't believe it myself, it's so freaking ironic. It's like how I believed my sweet wife would have never cheated. It's so freaking surreal.


I know just how you feel! I even went so far as to drive to the OM apartment complex. I sat in the car where I could see his apartment door. He came out and walked around the corner, then went back in.
I did nothing but watch. I thought about knocking on his door real loud late at night and then just leaving before he answered. I did none of it. Part of me would still like to.


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## JWTBL (May 28, 2014)

I had some crazy thoughts during my initial discovery of betrayal. Now I just don't care.
But I can totally relate to ServedCold's feeling of being punched in the stomach, and I love his incredible integrity to run far away from that piece of sh*t family.
Life is sometimes stranger than fiction.


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

I can see it happening, but no so random as just by chance meeting a woman at a conference and her turning out to be the OM's spouse. 

Both OM's spouses know who I am, know where I live and could put themselves into a situation that seemed random but wasn't. 

Are you sure she didn't go to that conference because she knew you would be there? Might she already know her H cheated with your ex and she wanted to pursue you to 'even the playingfield' with her H by bedding you?

Just a thought.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

That happened to me. My second wife had a affair with a married guy. We divorced. Year later I get a phone call from the OM wife. She wants to know if he's still seeing her, I told her I didn't know or care but I did let her know that he rubbed my noses in it and got a good laugh over it. 

Didn't sit well with me or her. One thing leads to another and she and I end up in bed three times and then we stopped. 

Did it do any good? Yes and no. I got payback, she got payback but the end result was both of us were no better than my ex and her husband. Avoid it because it's not worth losing you self respect.


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## Arrag (Jul 30, 2014)

Served Cold said:


> I met this woman at a business conference, she was flirting and at first I was attracted to her. She gave the impression of being single, no wedding band. It wasn't until later I learned she was married and it was like a punch to my gut her surname was that of the other man.
> 
> *It was like a bad dream*, listening to her complain about how unhappy she was in her marriage.
> 
> It was surreal, she was the wife of that *******. I would have told her, but she was no better than that the jerk.


Served Cold, it was like a bad dream? May I offer you a different perspective. Before that though, are you sure this is the wife of your x wife's OM? Lots of people have the same surnames. Neither here nor there man, you got big o brass ones for recognizing that the same thing that happened to you is about to happen to him, and you walked away from it with clean hands. Now get yourself a bag of popcorn, pull up a chair and watch this deal unfold. Sweet karma is about to give you a front row seat to the new hit movie release, Slow Train Wreck in Motion. I would at least have gotten enough info from her so I could stay close enough to watch everything implode. Nah, just kidding man, you did the right thing walk away from all that misery. You're the better man for it....


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## Served Cold (May 25, 2014)

Arrag said:


> Served Cold, it was like a bad dream? May I offer you a different perspective. Before that though, are you sure this is the wife of your x wife's OM? Lots of people have the same surnames. Neither here nor there man, you got big o brass ones for recognizing that the same thing that happened to you is about to happen to him, and you walked away from it with clean hands. Now get yourself a bag of popcorn, pull up a chair and watch this deal unfold. Sweet karma is about to give you a front row seat to the new hit movie release, Slow Train Wreck in Motion. I would at least have gotten enough info from her so I could stay close enough to watch everything implode. Nah, just kidding man, you did the right thing walk away from all that misery. You're the better man for it....





I wasn't the only man she was flirting with at this conference. She was getting plenty of attention, and I'm sure she was not there to target me as some kind of twisted revenge. She gave me her business card, the surname surprised me. Later that night I googled her and found her facebook. I was blown away, she was the wife of that *******. 

Karma, for sure....but I never thought I'd get the car keys to that bus. Anyway, I was tempted. It was just so bizarre and I also became suspicious, but really think it was pure coincidence. 

I decided to walk away from this situation and realized I want nothing to do with these wing nuts. 

I feel good, I feel good I kept my integrity.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

IDK man. You could have talked her into giving you a pair of her panties, especially the ones she was wearing that day, and then you could have sent them to the OM with hand written note asking him if these looked familiar...


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## MrsDraper (May 27, 2013)

cuchulain36 said:


> The more time I spend on this site the more I think everyone here is full of s***. Banging the wife of the dude who banged your wife? Or her throwing herself at you? A nice thought for those of us who are justice or revenge minded, but probably didn't realistically happen. It doesn't happen, it just doesn't...


This actually happened to my cousin, but not in the way this OP describes. Think a super tiny little town. My cousin (wife) was cheating with a married man. So, my cousin's husband seeks out the wife of the other man and met her one night to talk about what was going on. 

He still took the bait, or she did. No one will know as we weren't there. I think it was probably a mutual thing - revenge probably drove it. It was a ONS type thing.

My cousin and her husband reconciled, and it was a huge bruise on their marriage for a long, long time. 

Even worse, my cousin confessed to me a few years later that she didn't know if their youngest child was her husband's. Double face palm really happened. 

I love my cousin, but she is trashy as hell.


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## NotLikeYou (Aug 30, 2011)

cuchulain36 said:


> The more time I spend on this site the more I think everyone here is full of s***. Banging the wife of the dude who banged your wife? Or her throwing herself at you? A nice thought for those of us who are justice or revenge minded, but probably didn't realistically happen. It doesn't happen, it just doesn't...


Well, everybody else may be full of it on here, but not me!

I never, ever, never thought my wife would cheat on me with another devout, splinter-sect type of Mormon guy. But she did.

Thank goodness my other wives remained faithful to me.

And I wish I could say the same, that I was faithful to them, but I'm a sinner in the hands of a horny God.

So I met with all 17 of his wives, behind the, uh, tabernacle.

Yeah. The TABERNACLE!

And I explained what had happened to them, and they were all really upset that he had been unfaithful to them, and, well, one thing led to another......

Now, I wake up every day and wish I was Amish, so that at least I couldn't write a post about this shameful episode, since I would violently reject all things electronical.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

She most likely all ready knows her old man phucks around also. Hell maybe they are in an open marriage....going through life ruining families.

How sad!


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

cuchulain36 said:


> The more time I spend on this site the more I think everyone here is full of s***. Banging the wife of the dude who banged your wife? Or her throwing herself at you? A nice thought for those of us who are justice or revenge minded, but probably didn't realistically happen. It doesn't happen, it just doesn't...


Sounds believable to me.

If it was a troll he would have banged her. Makes for a MUCH better story.


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

Served Cold said:


> I met this woman at a business conference, she was flirting and at first I was attracted to her. She gave the impression of being single, no wedding band. It wasn't until later I learned she was married and it was like a punch to my gut her surname was that of the other man.
> 
> It was like a bad dream, listening to her complain about how unhappy she was in her marriage.
> 
> It was surreal, she was the wife of that *******. I would have told her, but she was no better than that the jerk.


It is a shame you could not tell her. She might have come to the real reason why she is so unhappy in her marriage.

But you did save yourself from all the drama and that I understand.....


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## bigtone128 (May 1, 2012)

Funny I had a karma incident the last two weeks too....I knew what my ex's POSOM looked like via fb pictures and I believe most know on here that I have 30 years recovery in an anonymous program. Well last week I notice this guy picking up a 30 day chip and he looked just like my ex's POSOM so I went up after the meeting and shook his hand to get his name and lo and behold it was him. I did not know whether to drive him one in the mouth or feel sorry for him. I thought of all the pain he caused me and my two kids and how arrogant this little prVck was but I recoiled from wanting to hit him. I told everyone I knew who he was and he left abruptly. I thought about it later ... here my ex is with someone who is struggling active addiction and I have over 30 years of recovery. Good riddance to them both. They deserve each other. So pretty random crap happens. I believe the story.


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## Served Cold (May 25, 2014)

I'm not surprised that some people think my experience is unbelievable. The man I was a few years ago would never have believed that I ended up where I am today. I would have bet my life that my wife was the last person on earth to ever cheat. 

Turns out she did cheat on me, and with a total creep. I still have a hard time with who she ended up cheating with. So yeah... I get it, some things are just so freaking unbelievable it's hard to think it can be true.

Thank you to those who believe me. If this was me a few years who I wouldn't believe it myself. 

I was moving on, thinking I was doing ok....but this whole situation set me back. it's been hard. Hard to keep myself from becoming just another piece of ****. It's as though being a good man is a freaking waste. I think of my dad, and he was a good man, I always wanted to be like him.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Given the circumstances that OP has described...

1. Divorced from xWW due to her affair w/ OM
2. *Not currently married* (OP isn't currently married, right?)
3. Opportunity to have sex w/ OM's (current) wife

...I'd have been balls deep in this woman before she could say "barkeep, one more vodka martini, please". Hell, I'd have probably sprained my wrist trying to get the condom out of my wallet quickly enough. I'd have also been sure to take plenty of pics and/or video before, during, and after in order to commemorate the event. And, assuming that I weren't in one of the "Bible belt" and/or AoA states, I'd have prepared a nice little "care package" for OM.

_And I'd have slept fine afterward._ I might feel a slight twinge of guilt due to having involved OM's wife in my scheme against OM, but it's not like she was at all innocent. Ignorant, perhaps, but not innocent.

I realize that, given much of what I've posted re: revenge affairs, etc, this may sound a bit hypocritical (if not downright horrible), but hey... I'm just being honest.


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## Served Cold (May 25, 2014)

GusPolinski said:


> Given the circumstances that OP has described...
> 
> 1. Divorced from xWW due to her affair w/ OM
> 2. *Not currently married* (OP isn't currently married, right?)
> ...




In the end, I just wasn't in the mood to get an std. This woman is married to trash and she was acting like trash.

I realized I am better than mixing with trash, no amount if revenge is worth becoming trash too.


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## Ripper (Apr 1, 2014)

GusPolinski said:


> ...I'd have been balls deep in this woman before she could say "barkeep, one more vodka martini, please".


Yep. OP has the self-control of a Tibetan monk. 

Either way, the POSOM is getting his. No way this is her first time fishing for strange.


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## Served Cold (May 25, 2014)

Ripper said:


> Yep. OP has the self-control of a Tibetan monk.
> 
> Either way, the POSOM is getting his. No way this is her first time fishing for strange.



I'm no monk...hell...I was attracted to her believing she was single. But...big but...when I looked her up and found her Facebook and discovered she was married to that scum bucket, my attraction to her was over. My attraction turned to disgust with her, and I admit I was seriously only interested in using her to get back at that piece of **** husband of hers.

I admit I played along with her flirtations the next day. I admit, I enjoyed playing her, but I also felt sick about it. I felt nothing for her, and she was soaking up the false attention I gave 
her and it made me think of my ex wife soaking up all the false attention she was getting from that creep.

It was sick because I realized people are lame when it's comes to false attention that makes them feel special. 

It made me sick. 

I don't want to be sick, I want to get back to the old me, the old me who has no time for games, who was secure in his own skin.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Served Cold said:


> In the end, I just wasn't in the mood to get an std. This woman is married to trash and she was acting like trash.
> 
> I realized I am better than mixing with trash, no amount if revenge is worth becoming trash too.


Fair enough. I'd have probably just double-bagged my dong, though. :smthumbup:



Served Cold said:


> I'm no monk...hell...I was attracted to her believing she was single. But...big but...when I looked her up and found her Facebook and discovered she was married to that scum bucket, my attraction to her was over. My attraction turned to disgust with her, and I admit I was seriously only interested in using her to get back at that piece of **** husband of hers.
> 
> I admit I played along with her flirtations the next day. I admit, I enjoyed playing her, but I also felt sick about it. I felt nothing for her, and she was soaking up the false attention I gave
> her and it made me think of my ex wife soaking up all the false attention she was getting from that creep.
> ...


Good call. Definitely do all that.

But first...


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

I also got propositioned by the exOWs hubby. By FB messenger though. Ugly little fella!! Shame that!! Lol


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