# How to React to the following statements:



## hbgirl (Feb 15, 2011)

You used to be "all that"
If I just had a wife who'd live up to my sexual needs
Did you trade your ***sy or give it away
I wanna w*ore with makeup, costume now
You just don't want to have GOOD sex with me
You told me you were stepping it up and you don't
I only act this way because you don't give me what i want
You really don't have time for a husband do you
You'll have hours for good time and not have to deal with me

You look like a w*ore, are you REALLY going to wear that, everything that goes wrong in this house is because of you and your attitude (says to daughter.) She no longer cares if he goes to anything with us as a family. She'd rather stay in her room.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Looks like verbal abuse to me. Same for your daughter. You do not need to tolerate it. Turn to a IC or perhaps the local Pastor. Not knowing how long this has gone on I would suggest removing you and your daughter from the home. H calling you a *****? Yes, this is verbal abuse. Consider moving to a place where verbal exchange is with someone who cares for you. Parents or friend.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

In a relationship that I have yet to decide on ending I would say "Well, there's no pleasing you."

If I were ready to do the hatchet job, I would say "Well, I won't be keeping you."


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

hbgirl said:


> You used to be "all that"
> If I just had a wife who'd live up to my sexual needs
> Did you trade your ***sy or give it away
> I wanna w*ore with makeup, costume now
> ...


If that sort of criticism was all I heard, every day, I would leave and I'd take my daughter with me. I'm a big believer in working hard to save a marriage, especially when children are involved but one thing I would never tolerate is abuse of my children.


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## hbgirl (Feb 15, 2011)

I've told him I've spent my entire life trying to live up to his expectations and know I'll never be good enough. I usually get some sort of reply like you could fix everything but you don't care, you just don't like me anymore, i'll just leave so you'll be happy, if you'd pay attention to me i wouldn't have to act like this. It leaves me to wonder if he really thought all those things were true, shouldn't he do something different? Anything different?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Here is a post from one of your other threads....



hbgirl said:


> My post from 2011 can give you a little history, this is what he wants. Just me is NEVER EVER good enough so forgive me if I'm not in "the mood" very often......End of long work day not feeling well & the thought of taking a nap makes me smile. That smile quickly vanishes as I'm coerced into "getting ready" for what he wants. Two hours later, in full costume and camera ready to record it starts....1st several objects inserted fast & furious until I was crying and his excitement grows. 2nd he pleasures himself inside me while I feel like I'm being torn inside. Finally he gets his way and inserts fists fast, hard as my tears and cries become loud & I begin to worry about my kids hearing and he's satisfied at last. The next day I ache inside in every way possible and he's mad because I'm grouchy
> 
> http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/202874-question-married-men.html


You know that you are married to an abusive man. You have been here posting about this since 2011.

The quotes in your first post on this thread and your question is trival nonsense because you already know that answers.

But I'll repeat the answers you have received over and over. You are married to a mean, abusive man. You need to leave him. 

Let's start talking about how you are going about getting out of this marriage.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

What was quoted isn't love or even sex. It is torture. Why are you allowing the creature to torture you?

He doesn't deserve a wife and he certainly doesn't deserve a child. If you won't leave him, tell him to use a prostitute for his perversions.

The damage he is doing to your psyche is just as bad as the damage as he is doing to your body. Are you getting regular gynecological checkups? 

What is he doing with the recordings? Is he sharing them with other perverts on the internet?


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

I agree, that isn't sex. I would consider that sexual abuse. There may be women out there who would enjoy it, but if you're not one of them it shouldn't be happening. If that's what he needs to get his rocks off, buy him a blowup doll as a moving out present and just KICK HIM OUT.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Please stop whining and being a victim. You allow this, with a daughter in the house no less. Get rid of him now.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

By the way, get you hands on all the videos he's taken of him sexually abusing you and torturing you. Try to make sure that he does not have any of them. Then kick him to the curb.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

hbgirl said:


> I usually get some sort of reply like ...i'll just leave so you'll be happy


Call his bluff. Say ok, fine...go.

The man is an ahole. The sooner you kick his butt to the kerb, the better off you and your daughter will be. 

Remember that you have some control in this situation, your poor daughter does not. She's trapped there, with no say in anything. You don't have the right to subject her to that.


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## commonsenseisn't (Aug 13, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> Here is a post from one of your other threads....
> 
> 
> 
> ...


You must leave this guy and you must leave him now. This is non negotiable. If I were you're father I'm afraid I'd be in jail because of what this animal is doing to you. God help you. I'm so sorry.


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## alonetogether8 (Aug 25, 2014)

hbgirl said:


> You used to be "all that"
> If I just had a wife who'd live up to my sexual needs
> Did you trade your ***sy or give it away
> I wanna w*ore with makeup, costume now
> ...


Your husband is being abusive, to you and your daughter. I grew up in a house like (but it was my mom who was abusive) and that will sstick with her forever. My mom blamed me for the problems in her life (but I was a model child, honor roll, never got in trouble). She called me a **** (when I was virgin) said she wished I was never born. A child remembers that stuff.

I would probably say to him that I will not put up with him speaking to us that way. He sounds like he needs anger management and counseling, and I'd tell him I would definitely not be having sex with someone who talked to me that way.

Sorry you're going through this.


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

The "sex" you described sounds more like rape to me. I would wish to repay a man like him in kind with a finger up the urethra and get THAT on tape before burning the rest of them that he made.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening Hbgirl
you are in an abusive relationship - physically and emotionally. 

1) There is nothing you can do to make it better. It is not your fault. It is not going to get better unless you leave.

2). Not all men, or even most men are like this. He is an evil aberration. A random guy picked up off the street is likely to be better than this.

3) It is not clear to what extent he is / will abuse your daughter, but is seems pretty likely that will happen as well. 

4) The physical sex / abuse is not acceptable. There are some couple who BOTH enjoy rough sex play - and that is fine. In this case though you are not enjoying it, so it is not consentual BDSM, but abuse / rape. 

5) Leave - nothing is going to be worse than where you are now.


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## Thebes (Apr 10, 2013)

I would want to tell him to shut up.


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## NotLikeYou (Aug 30, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> Here is a post from one of your other threads....
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Alex, I'll take "how to make OP disappear" for $1,000!

But don't worry.

She'll be back.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

OP. Action plan. 

1. Find your local battered women's shelter/hotline. Contact them on the quiet about making either a safety plan or an exit plan, preferably the latter. They will connect you with the emotional support that you need, and likely counseling.

2. Ask said shelter about legal issues, how to find a lawyer, how to pay for a lawyer.

3. If you have friends and family that can and will be supportive, contact them. QUIETLY.

Find the people who will support you. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ArvztkuccmU


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## JASON56 (Aug 28, 2014)

I would record the verbal abuse and then go to his parents and sit them down, play it back and tell them, this is why i am leaving your son.


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## Revamped (Jun 19, 2014)

I'm not buying into this.

At all.


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