# Day after day



## MC21 (Nov 9, 2012)

What will do more damage to younger children: the death of a parent (not knowing th e true reason), or knowing that is was by suicide? I know it'sthe best way out, I'm only left with how to do it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

MC21 said:


> What will do more damage to younger children: the death of a parent (not knowing th e true reason), or knowing that is was by suicide? I know it'sthe best way out, I'm only left with how to do it.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Aseek help ASAP.
Don't do this to your kids.
That's the cowards way out


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## Ms. GP (Jul 8, 2013)

Both a equally destructive in my opinion. Loved ones of victims of suicide go through intense periods of grief. They think if only I had said something different. If only I was a better kid, friend, spouse etc. , they wouldn't have done this.

Right now, you're brain is very sick. I'm sure it is telling you everyone would be better off without you in an almost obsessive fashion right now. But, that is simply not true. It is the ramblings of a very sick brain. They have done studies of people who have survived jumping of the Golden Gate Bridge, and every person interviewed said they regretted it as soon as they jumped. There are resources out there. You are not a coward, you are sick and not thinking with a sound mind. Go get help ASAP!!!


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

1-800-273-8255

Lifeline


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

Call 1-800-273-8255.

Please get help. While you think it's the best solution. It's not. 

Think of your children. What will they do? How will they react when they hear the truth? How will they remember you? What will become of them.

I was 30 when my mother killed herself. I thought she had a heart attack, until my uncle in passing mentioned the way she died. This was a few months after, my mum was the worst mum on earth, at least tO me. I went crazy, for some reason it floored me. I was destroyed. My baby brother never recovered, smokes pot all day. My sister is on a dozen meds, cant seem to find herself. My older brother is hiding from everything, someday we will witness his blowup. 

Even, as adults we are still dealing, image what will happen to younger kids.


Please don't be selfish. Call the number.


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## MC21 (Nov 9, 2012)

Brooklyn, 
Thank you for sharing your (and your family's) experience. I've never lost a family member by suicide, and can't begin to imagine what I would've done. 

I kept going over the options I have, (counseling, separation, divorce, or just disappearing) and disappearing is the only chance my kids would have to grow up w/o having to witness their parents argue about the way this should be done, what they need, who's right, what I did wrong... her parents have managed to cause two other divorces in the family with their constant trashing of their spouses, to the point where they will forget they made a vow to stand with their spouse (and do whatever their parents say). 

I'm too old to start over, have no family/friends for moral support, and what I have to look forward to will only be worse that it is now. The best thing I can do for my children is prevent them from witnessing their dad self-destruct in front of their eyes.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SurpriseMyself (Nov 14, 2009)

That is depression talking, not reality. Your life is not already lived nor is your future decided. Choices exist and you can have better tomorrows than today.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Late one night, when I was about 12 years old, I awoke to the sound of my father loading a shotgun in the hallway outside my bedroom. Although confused, I knew what this meant: rubbing sleep from my eyes, I walked into the hallway and asked him if there was a snake outside. "Yeah, son," he said, "there's a snake outside. Go back to bed."

Seemed reasonable enough. After all, we lived near a wooded area in southeast Texas, and snakes were EVERYWHERE. Copperheads and cottonmouths were all over the place, and sightings were a regular occurrence; I still remember the time that our neighbor came over one night and helped my Mom kill a copperhead that was climbing up the brick wall outside our bathroom. I'd even killed a couple myself.

Still, something was wrong. There was something especially eerie about Dad's voice. It just didn't seem right. _And he had tears streaming down his face._

Just a few short moments later, Dad was kneeling down next to my bed, crying, apologizing, and hugging me. He'd never hurt me. He's sorry for scaring me. He's sorry for making me cry. He'll never do it again.

"I promise."

That turned out to be a lie.

I remember Wayne yelling at him after getting the shotgun away from him...

"Do you hear that? That's your SON CRYING in the other room because he knows what you're about to do!!!"

Mom, my grandparents, and my aunt (Dad's parents and younger sister) showed up shortly thereafter. In all, my father tried to take his life at least 2 more times that night -- if not for the family friend that was staying w/ us at the time (the aforementioned Wayne, one of Dad's co-workers), he'd have likely succeeded. To this day, I HAVE NO IDEA why Mom wasn't there that night.

When we moved from TX to NC less than a year later, there was still a stain on the carpet next to my bed where Dad had spit his tobacco.

That evening will haunt me forever. Had Dad actually killed himself, though, the trauma would've been much, much worse.

(Funny story: my younger brother slept through ALL of this.)

*Please don't do this.

Your life isn't over.

You're not too old to start over.

Please get help.

PLEASE.*


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