# The LD is always right?



## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

When arguing about sex with an LD spouse, I've come to the conclusion that the LD will always be right.

Society stereotypes women as the one's that are always right no matter what, and I think this has to do with society's stereotype that most women are LD.

So I am going to start a poll and shed some light on this...

Badsanta

Well I guess I should have an option for "I am always right" but just choose your gender and vote for yourself in that manner if that is the case but indicate HD/LD correctly.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Right about sex, or right about everything?


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

badsanta said:


> Society stereotypes women as the one's that are always right no matter what, and I think this has to do with society's stereotype that most women are LD.


I am not familiar with the "society" of which you speak ... which century and locale are you referring to?


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

For us stupid people it would help if you did not use acronyms and told us what HD and LD means. I am not hip to all the abbreviations used here because I have a life outside of this forum. :grin2:


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Do you mean for the poll-- that in actuality they are always right, or that perception is that they are always right?


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## EunuchMonk (Jan 3, 2016)

I think you mean that it seems they are always right about sex. Since they are LD, they are the most detached from the situation of sexual satisfaction and, consequently, the least frustrated. So since they can approach it with a calm spirit, while the HD spouse is impassioned, it will seem like the LD is the one in the right. Since strong emotions are shunned as coming from a unreasonable place instead of a level-headed logical place. Not that this is right. Emotions have to be acknowledged as valid things, not things to be ashamed of.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Red Sonja said:


> I am not familiar with the "society" of which you speak ... which century and locale are you referring to?


I used the word "stereotype" to indicate that it was wrong to do this. 

Just google "women are a" and see what autocomplete has to say! Google's autocomplete is probably the most candid and up to date with how everyone feels globally.

And to be fair, I attached an autocomplete about men!


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Fozzy said:


> Right about sex, or right about everything?


Both work!


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

My husband is LD and he's NEVER right.


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## introvert (May 30, 2016)

This is the weirdest poll I've ever seen, and the least intuitive.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

badsanta said:


> When arguing about sex with an LD spouse, I've come to the conclusion that the LD will always be right.
> 
> Society stereotypes women as the one's that are always right no matter what, and I think this has to do with society's stereotype that most women are LD.
> 
> ...


How about none of the above?

My wife is LD and she is right about somethings and not about others. When it comes to sex frequency and sex acts, she is neither right nor wrong and I am neither right nor wrong. We each have hard boundaries and comfort zones. We negotiate to reach a compromise within our boundaries and comfort zones, but that compromise is neither right nor wrong in any kind of absolute sense. The compromise is something that just "works" for us at this point in our life.

David Schnarch teaches that everything in marriage is an LD/HD compromise and there is no correct amount of weekly servings of chocolate ice cream nor of sex.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

Back in the day before my wife got her groove, she never said no.

I have High Drive. She still never says no, but now she masturbates a couple times a day. She never asks for anything, though. Is she High Drive now?

I say men are "right", or claim they must feel they are, my wife agrees. We think that because men have to be aroused to make sex work, while women just have to open their legs. Erectile Dysfunction controls when sex happens in more cases we have heard about, by far, than women saying no.

That's just our personal earful.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Young at Heart said:


> How about none of the above?
> 
> My wife is LD and she is right about somethings and not about others. When it comes to sex frequency and sex acts, she is neither right nor wrong and I am neither right nor wrong. We each have hard boundaries and comfort zones. We negotiate to reach a compromise within our boundaries and comfort zones, but that compromise is neither right nor wrong in any kind of absolute sense. The compromise is something that just "works" for us at this point in our life.
> 
> David Schnarch teaches that everything in marriage is an LD/HD compromise and there is no correct amount of weekly servings of chocolate ice cream nor of sex.


Actually, the correct amount of servings of chocolate ice cream is zero.


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## Spitfire (Jun 6, 2015)

They're always right when they say "Not tonight...". ?


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Young at Heart said:


> David Schnarch teaches that everything in marriage is an LD/HD compromise and there is no correct amount of weekly servings of chocolate ice cream nor of sex.


Is zero within the acceptable range?


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Do you walk to school or carry you lunch?


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Vinnydee said:


> For us stupid people it would help if you did not use acronyms and told us what HD and LD means. I am not hip to all the abbreviations used here because I have a life outside of this forum. :grin2:


HD = high definition


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Fozzy said:


> Actually, the correct amount of servings of chocolate ice cream is zero.


While I agree with you, my wife, daughter-in-law, two grandchildren all would say you are wrong.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

john117 said:


> Is zero within the acceptable range?


It can be IF it is a compromise. If it is not a compromise then it probably is not. 

For example, in my marriage, my wife wants zero frequency of oral sex. She knows I would like to give and receive oral sex, but she can't handle it. That is a personal boundary for her. So for her, zero is in the range.

She recognizes that I need sex and will allow some other sex acts, more than she would prefer as part of a grand compromise. So while I don't get everything I would like, I do get enough of a compromise to stay married to her and we both find enjoyment in being married to each other.

However, no sex in any form, which is what I suspect your are asking/stating, is not really a compromise unless it is "...as long as we don't have sex I will stay married to you, treat you well, and make people think we are happy."

Good luck.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

inmyprime said:


> HD = high definition


Dear Vinnydee;

Perhaps this will help a little more. Burried in it is HD= High (sexual) Desire (high libido)

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/forum-guidelines/464-common-message-board-abbreviations-acronyms.html


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## DustyDog (Jul 12, 2016)

badsanta said:


> When arguing about sex with an LD spouse, I've come to the conclusion that the LD will always be right.
> 
> Society stereotypes women as the one's that are always right no matter what, and I think this has to do with society's stereotype that most women are LD.
> 
> ...


I concluded, nearly 30 years ago, that the notion of "right" and "wrong" do not belong in a relationship that you're trying to make last a long time. "Right" cannot exist without "wrong" and "wrong" means you're blaming and that makes a person feel attacked.

Instead, I prefer to discuss what I want, what she wants, where the two of us can compromise, and so on.


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