# I finally get it!



## stillhoping (Aug 27, 2012)

Passed my third wedding anniversary since exH left. This week I finally came to the realization that not only is that marriage in my past, but so are many other things. His family, for instance. My nieces and nephews and sister in laws are friendly but its time I let them go to my ex and his fiance. I tried to stay involved, going to birthday parties, etc, angry that my sister in law didn't invite me to graduation, but the truth is, they need to make room for the new woman in his life and I am just muking up the works. After more than 30 years, it will be strange, but not the hardest thing I have done lately!

I guess it doesn't mean they don't still care for me, but they can't do both. And at the same time, I have a really nice man in my life and he has a great family that really likes me, so time to make room for them in my life. 

The hardest thing I am doing now is getting ready for our oldest son to get married and realizing that I will need to share some parts of that with the new woman. I hope she has heard the saying about "step moms" at weddings, show up, shut up and wear beige!


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## dajam (Jul 14, 2014)

stillhoping said:


> Passed my third wedding anniversary since exH left. This week I finally came to the realization that not only is that marriage in my past, but so are many other things. His family, for instance. My nieces and nephews and sister in laws are friendly but its time I let them go to my ex and his fiance. I tried to stay involved, going to birthday parties, etc, angry that my sister in law didn't invite me to graduation, but the truth is, they need to make room for the new woman in his life and I am just muking up the works. After more than 30 years, it will be strange, but not the hardest thing I have done lately!
> 
> I guess it doesn't mean they don't still care for me, but they can't do both. And at the same time, I have a really nice man in my life and he has a great family that really likes me, so time to make room for them in my life.
> 
> The hardest thing I am doing now is getting ready for our oldest son to get married and realizing that I will need to share some parts of that with the new woman. I hope she has heard the saying about "step moms" at weddings, show up, shut up and wear beige!


Congrats and live strong... Enjoy your new realization. As far as the marriage goes, IMHO, this action increases the happiness you will have within your heart for him..

Congrats again on both fronts.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Good for you. We all have different life-schedules and you reached this point at your time.

Your comment about the upcoming wedding made me laugh. Although its not about step-moms, it made me think of that Jane Fonda movie with Jennifer Lopez, Monster-in-Law. Just stay true to your kids and forget she's there. You are the mother of the groom so shine for your son!


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## stillhoping (Aug 27, 2012)

I really appreciate all the "likes"! I guess it hit a chord. And I agree about the movie, she could certainly end up behaving that way. I just think its so strange, the woman has 2 sons of her own. She never raised my kids, they were adults by the time she got with my ex. I realize she will have a relationship with them, she is going to marry my son's father, but it will never be a "Mother" of any kind. Just a lady who sleeps with my Dad


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## stillhoping (Aug 27, 2012)

By the way, I am dating a very nice man. He has kids. He asked me about the situation and said what if my daughter asked you to help with her wedding. I said, I would be happy to do so, but I would totally respect her mom's role as the mom and do it all on the side.


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

Letting go.... is another brick in The Wall of closure.


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## Flying_Dutchman (Oct 29, 2014)

stillhoping said:


> I really appreciate all the "likes"!


Likes? I don't see a like button but I am on the mobile version of the site with a useless old browser.

Congrats on moving forward. I hate to see people stuck in a mire of self pity and misery.

Wouldn't count on her wearing beige, though. You might wanna go no-expense-spared, designer diva to ensure you win that one (if you really care.) Let it slide and enjoy yourself if you can. You haven't truly moved on until you can enjoy what you have and you're past caring about what they do.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## stillhoping (Aug 27, 2012)

You are right, it doesn't matter what she shows up in, I am going to be in a BIG smile, so happy for my son and his new wife. I am spending every day until then focusing on all that I have to be grateful for and working to let the rest go.


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## stillhoping (Aug 27, 2012)

By the way Dutchman, I liked your post!


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