# Final Decree signed today



## DSSM9500 (Sep 16, 2011)

I have not been on the forums for awhile but wanted to give an update since many of you provided advice and support through the darkest times. 

Today I signed the final divorce decree and it will now be off to the judge for final approval. All things considered the process was smooth with 50/50 custody for the kids. 

Thank you everyone for your help those many months ago.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

While I don't know your story, I do hope your are doing Ok. It's a loss and a gain, both at the same time.


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## Noel1987 (Jan 2, 2012)

I know everybody is familiar with losses in life but try to cover things and go on with your life


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## madaboutlove (Aug 28, 2011)

There is ea great life out there for you, best wishes. I am not far behind


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## DSSM9500 (Sep 16, 2011)

Yes...looking forward to a new life. Search my username and you'll get a sense of my journey: Got the "I love you but am not in love with you speech", discovered an EA, pathetically tried to save my marriage when it was hopeless, saw the light, started a 180, went as dark as I could, "surrendered" and realized my marriage was over and filed for divorce....worked on myself and moved forward with life. 

Every situation is different,but for me I had to regain control as ex had been writing the script. In addition to this forum two other resourced which helped me were the "No More Mr. Nice Guy" book and forum and Athol Kay's "Married Man Sex Life" blog and associated book. 

At some point in a marriage crisis you need to step back and really see if there is anything worth saving. Do you have your wife on a pedestal? Is all trust lost? Is it best just to move on? In a lot of cases it is best to accept reality, focus on yourself and your kids, and move on.


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## Tullytara (Dec 26, 2011)

how long has it taken u to sort im heading home to birmingham uk but i think its still gonna take 6 yrs cause he is in ireland, i want it sorted asap, he left a week before christmas and he has a new female friend already so i want it over and done with. Fab for you hun i hope you have all the joy and happiness that you deserve,


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## akira1 (Dec 13, 2011)

DSSM9500 said:


> Yes...looking forward to a new life. Search my username and you'll get a sense of my journey: Got the "I love you but am not in love with you speech", discovered an EA, pathetically tried to save my marriage when it was hopeless, saw the light, started a 180, went as dark as I could, "surrendered" and realized my marriage was over and filed for divorce....worked on myself and moved forward with life.


You may have been pathetic initially from your accounts, but the efforts documented here and witnessed by others were not in vain.

Not for R, but you've regained control of your life with hard-won and admirable dignity.

Cheers to you, and your children. Many blessings to you.


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## DSSM9500 (Sep 16, 2011)

Tullytara said:


> how long has it taken u to sort im heading home to birmingham uk but i think its still gonna take 6 yrs cause he is in ireland, i want it sorted asap, he left a week before christmas and he has a new female friend already so i want it over and done with. Fab for you hun i hope you have all the joy and happiness that you deserve,


A quick timeline:

July: "I love you but not in love with you speech was received"
August: I discovered EA
August-September: Pathetic one-sided attempts to save marriage
Late September: grew a pair
October: Filed for D
October: Ex moved out
This week: signed and done.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Congrats on your new life, D!


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## DSSM9500 (Sep 16, 2011)

akira1 said:


> You may have been pathetic initially from your accounts, but the efforts documented here and witnessed by others were not in vain.
> 
> Not for R, but you've regained control of your life with hard-won and admirable dignity.
> 
> Cheers to you, and your children. Many blessings to you.


Thank you....my story seemed to follow a typical arc, but everything progressed quickly once I knew there was no marriage left to save, decided what I wanted, and headed for the exits and a new life.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

DSSM9500 said:


> Thank you....my story seemed to follow a typical arc, but everything progressed quickly once I knew there was no marriage left to save, decided what I wanted, and headed for the exits and a new life.


You've done well, and you will end up in a much better emotional place than if you had dragged it out.


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