# Biipolar disorder or just craziness?? or something else?



## MIMO (Oct 1, 2010)

Hello there,

Here I am starting my own thread.

Well, things was going a little bit better for the last few weeks with some clouds from time to time but it looks that it was only cumulating...

Well, we had a fight, I left the house driving to no where. Driving, I thought about calling my mom. Seeking some advices. Only what she advised is to take it easy and try to ignore all the rages and angers and bad words... For the sake of the families (mine and her) and sure for the adorable child we have. So, I tried as she said and here what happen after:

After that, my wife accused me (as usual) that I'm looking for other girls (married ones, and between us, ugly ones!) so I told her that NO it is not true. I wasn't doing that. She motivated that by a fact that I always choosing some strategical places to have the girls in my sight and she doesn't like that. I told her that if it happened, I did it but sure not on purpose and no need to make a big deal out of it. she said it was ok for now but try to not do it again. OK.

One day later, she opened the topic again, the same talk about the same damn thing. (sorry for my language). I told her: Darling, I think the topic was closed one day before. Why you want to open it again? She said that my eyes always following girls (the usual non-sens) and that she feels unsecure... After that, we had to go to get some stuff from the store. She insisted that I go with her! Idea which I used to just refuse. But she insisted very hard so I accepted. We went there. All the time she is checking my eyes where I am looking. I look to the rear view mirror and she turned her neck. We went into the store, I look right, she looks right. I look left, she looks left so I started looking to the ceiling... Silly but how to avoid it. From time to time she started some words like: I saw you looking to that lady, and you look there. and why you are looking... and so on and on...

So, after all, was a big noise behind in the store and she was looking there. I turned my neck and I saw a big sign moving with nothing important on it. She looked at me angry so I said: I was just looking the way where you was looking (the same she tells me all the time) so she said let me go and see what you was looking for and she came with her face red accusing me that I was looking at some old ladies there. Here started everything. All the bad words, the cussing and the good manner she is famous with.

Well, all what I did is to keep passive and keep quite with my mouth shut. All the time. And she was talking non sens all the time. About how bad I am and how stupid she is for marring me and that she regrets that really bad and that I am a very bad guy and so on....

Well, I was all the time 0 word.

At home she started yelling more loud and tell me names and tell my parents names. I told her: Don't talk like that in front of the child. We can talk later. and I explained that there in the store, wall what I saw was a sign moving and no females as she claimed. but no avail...

Well, later, she got on my nerves and I accidently touched her face with my finger when pointing on her when she was following me everywhere in some tight places in the house. And voila! she EXPLODED. Starting more aggressive and point my face everywhere and tells me that if I dare doing it again she will kill me by sticking a knife in my heart... and start beating me... Cussing all the time like music. Bad words, bad attitude and remembering all bad things I've done to her and all misunderstandings we had since we met... She is good doing that...

Out of patience, I called for help, I called her brother.

He came and talk to her and to me. Well, I see everything in front of me. All what she says is complains and she is demanding apologies... Well, what about me? why she is not sorry for what she did??? and guess what? She had a totally upgraded version for all what happen by saying that I was yelling and I was attacking her all the time.... And by defending herself that I am a liar... 

Arguing till 12 am with no cure. I told her brother and her that if I have something wrong with me I'll be more than willing to change and that I did all what I did not on purpose and that she has to calm down.

Next day, she started the same topic with the same words and the same requirements... Her brother told her: I remember we agreed on that yesterday and there is no need to talk about it again. She starts saying that she can't trust me any more because it is not the first time I say that I'll change but I am not changing and that she can't trust me any more and that she has a lot of things against me or accusing me...

She also mentioned that she can't control her anger and that hurts her deep for several days and she was complaining that I have no feelings or no responsibility because in a middle of a fight I am able to bake some food and sit peacefully and eat... Well, sorry for that dear but I don't see anything really matter.... 

Well, my family leaves far from here. Only her family are around and they are not totally willing to admit that she has a psychological problem and they accuse me for 60% over 40% to her.. One of them even said that it's all my fault because I as a man should be able to manage and control her anger by avoiding all what upsets her.... Non sens...

My parents kind of really likes her parents and they don't want this relation to go down so it seems they are easily willing to give up on me...

I don't know how to manage all this. I don't know how to convince her or her parents that she has a problem that should be taking care of... I can't leave the house as I don't have anywhere else to go. I can't go back home. I can't leave my work (a lot of payments) I don't want to loose my son... I am really doomed....

Writing you here because you tried to help me earlier... Writing you so we can share thoughts an I can use some opinions...

Thank you.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Maybe you aren't necessarily doomed. Sounds like she has a screw loose but, so far, she's only loud and obnoxious. Next time she accuses you of checking out other women, say, "Yea, Baby, I love beautiful women...that's why I picked you." If she's really Bi-Polar, she'll be out of control for a while and will eventually act rather normal again. My wife has Bi-Polar (among other things) and it can be inconvenient, but it doesn't have to be a deal breaker. There are medications that can help (to a degree). Some of it, you're just going to have to deal with. It's a disorder, which means it's going to cause problems in the marriage and basically everything else. Lots of people live with these challenges. It's not always fun but it sounds like you don't have lots of options.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

She was physically abusive to you--you need to find a place for you and your child to be safe, until she gets better treatment and a better drug regime for her meds. Her behavior is unhealthy for the child to witness. Also, she is dragging you down (your finger "accidently" poked her? I doubt it, but even so, the same advice applies). You could be in danger of losing your child to social services if you don't act, b/c if she says you hit her and there is any evidence of it on either part, you could BOTH be arrested and your child taken in to foster care. 

I'm not saying you should LEAVE her (as in divorce), but you must insist that she get treatment and medications/meds adjusted immediately and you should remove your child from the danger until she is more stable. Being bi-polar is not an excuse for neglecting helpful treatment--it is all the more reason to monitor one's self (with the help of loving others) and trusting them to let her know when her behavior is getting out of hand. She should TRUST you to look after her and the child at these times, b/c if she accepts her illness as she should, she will KNOW she is in no condition to make good judments when her behavior indicates something is not right. My sister is bi-polar and she would NEVER have touched one of us no matter how bad she was--but we learned to recognize how her tendency toward verbal and emotional abuse was escalating, which meant it was time for her to get a med-check. Good luck.


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## takris (Sep 22, 2010)

Other than insecurity, how does she think of herself? Depressed? Dangerous personal behaviors?


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## chefmaster (Oct 30, 2010)

Has she ever been in the middle of one of these frantic arguments and the phone rings and she answers it and she's all friendly to the person on the phone? Has that ever happened?


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

What causes all the anger? Does she behave like this while around other people? How does she interact with other people?


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

My daughter is bi-polar and has exhibited some of the same behavior. She will really need to be checked by an appropriate psychiatrist or psychologist for this to be diagnosed. 

If this only happens when you're around, then I would say its something else. If it happens with other people, then some type of mental issue - be it bi-polar or a personality disorder. 

It would be beneficial to both her and you to get a diagnosis in the event that there is a checmical imbalance or personality disorder. My daughter is on medication that helps her issues tremendously - they can be a life-saver with the correct diagnosis and treatment.

It's not shameful for someone to experience a mental illness or issue. A lot of times its a chemical imbalance in the brain.


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## MIMO (Oct 1, 2010)

takris said:


> Other than insecurity, how does she think of herself? Depressed? Dangerous personal behaviors?


Well, she is often depressed. Often worry about anything and nothing...



chefmaster said:


> Has she ever been in the middle of one of these frantic arguments and the phone rings and she answers it and she's all friendly to the person on the phone? Has that ever happened?


Actually yes Chefmaster. It happened many times! and sometimes somebody of her family is knocking on the door and you can't believe how fast she switches to normal condition. Does that mean anything???



827Aug said:


> What causes all the anger? Does she behave like this while around other people? How does she interact with other people?


Well, if somebody is involved in the fight, yes she would. If not! she is another person...


Please answer my question: Does her quick change means anything?? I mean, if somebody called or came, she comes back to normal very fast.

Thank you.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Well, these questions tell us more. She probably isn't crazy or bi-polar. If she had serious mental issues, she would most likely behave irrationally around everyone. Hence her family isn't witnessing any of the crazy behavior. 

I went through a period of time when I absolutely thought I was losing my mind. My estranged husband was having affairs and bleeding our business dry. I had to live with him in the house for two years while this was going on. I became absolutely nasty towards him. Some days I was so angry I felt as though the top of my head would blow off. Mean while he was calling my family and telling them that I had lost my mind. Before 2008 came to an end I was almost convinced I was mentally ill. I found a terrific therapist though. We worked through all of my issues and I learned to resolve problems--not become overwhelmed by them.

You and your wife may want to find a great therapist and begin getting to the core issues in your marriage. A good therapist would also be able to detect mental illnesses, if they exists.


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## takris (Sep 22, 2010)

Nobody here can diagnose your wife, but it might not hurt to look into personality disorders like borderline personality disorder, just for coping strategies. My wife is high functional BPD, but used to be very jealous of me. The most hurtful part of it is the fact that she can look at her father or a friend with such love, but she imagines so much evil intent from me that her face will instantly change when I enter the room.

Problem is, with personality disorders, many psychologists consider it counter-productive to diagnose them. And the knowledge doesn't automatically help the patient. Her therapist seemed angry at my attempts to find a diagnosis, but recently gave the diagnosis anyway.

Even if it isn't something that can be labelled, knowedge is your best way to navigate this sticky situation. I only mention BPD because it is one of the more common personality disorders.


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## Christine11 (Sep 13, 2010)

Hello,
I read your post and I have a few questions. When did her jealous and 'crazy' behavior start? Was she always like that or did something trigger it? Did you ever have any other connection with another woman (and I don't necessarily mean a physical affair, it could be a very close female friend) that might have triggered that extreme jealousy and out of control behavior?


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## MIMO (Oct 1, 2010)

*Re: Bipolar disorder or just craziness?? or something else?*



Christine11 said:


> Hello,
> I read your post and I have a few questions. When did her jealous and 'crazy' behavior start? Was she always like that or did something trigger it? Did you ever have any other connection with another woman (and I don't necessarily mean a physical affair, it could be a very close female friend) that might have triggered that extreme jealousy and out of control behavior?


She was like that since the first day. Since the first date she always used to check my eyes....
I am a guy who is working 6/7 and from 8AM till 6PM. I leave the house in the morning at 7:45 and 6:15 I am back. Sunday if nothing, I stay at home.

After we were married she made a fight and made me close my face book. and since, I can't watch TV or any movie unless it is animation... She can't support the presence of any female around. Her family always try to convince me that she is doing that because she loves me but I think it is only control. 
On the first start of a fight, she start cussing: me, my mom, my sisters ... 

I don't know.

Well, she claims that she can't trust me because one girl was on my face book was publishing some -to her- inappropriate photos. Which is really not true. The photos was like something you see everyday. And one day I was looking some of my sisters photos with her friends and -to her- she thinks that the girls was naked! and some more like that...

She thinks that for a man it is easy to get erection only by looking to a woman in the road and for few seconds... I don't know what to tell and I wish I know how she thinks...

Update: Now she is sad, closing the door on her room or going walking outside and she doesn't want talk with me. Frankly, I don't want to talk with her either... She will start yelling, cussing and all what she will ask for is to apologize and promise that I'll keep my eyes down all the time (which is impossible)...


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## Christine11 (Sep 13, 2010)

Hey, thanks for answering my questions. Obviously we are only hearing one side of the story here but I have to say her behavior sounds overly jealous to say the least. Was she like that when you were dating too? What made her (or perhaps she always was) become so insecure? 

Do you give her compliments? It sounds like she needs a ton of attention and reinforcement of the 'you look the best, you are the only one' kind. I do believe that if you say that you do give her compliments and make her feel like she's the center of your attention that there might be more to the problem.

Was she ever cheated on by somebody else (before you 2 got together)? Was she ever disappointed by a close male in her life?


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## MIMO (Oct 1, 2010)

Actually, when we start dating, I was blind with what they called "love". Some close friends heard about me suffering her jealousy and they advised me to drop the subject. I always had the hope that one day things will get fixed. Her parents also kept telling me that she will change and that for any couple the first 2 - 5 years are hard and that when she will be mom she will be different... Well, we had many fights before and she always came with decision after each fight that she doesn't want me any more in her life and that I'm the wrong one and so on. Then, later, she is calm and she says that she didn't mean that but as I got on her nerves so she said all that. Later on, after one year knowing each others, I start to give up and telling her that it was a mistake that we are married and then she starts saying that her life is not a game with my hands and that I can't give up like that.
For her, and she said it many times, I was nothing before I mate her and that she is trying to build something out of me. That she started with changing my wearing style, get me away from all my friends and family and getting me only for her.
She always requires the full attention, you can not do anything easily. Either because I'll be far from her or maybe because I'll be outside and maybe my eyes will see any girl around. Often she is just standing near to me when I am cutting the grass or washing the car or even taking out the trash and her eyes are scanning the area for any approaching...
Digging in her life: Her mom and dad are divorced like 10 years ago. Her mother and father are kind of really hard mind... She was engaged to a guy that she never loved as she told me. But she doesn't know why she accepted until she figured it out and broke up with him. Even that, she keeps saying that her life was way better before meeting me and I am the worst person in the world...
Digging in my life: My parents are not divorced, they had some issues in the past but they managed to overcome them. They are deep in love as if they are in their dating phase . 
About me, I was married before. Yes I was! and let me tell you that: my ex marriage was perfect! Really! Never had argument, never had a fight, never had any issue... Why divorced? A friend of us (me and my ex-wife) went between us and keep telling her that she is ruining her life by being married to me. That girl had like 4 boy friends in all the states and she keeps traveling between them. She kept trying convince her to drop the marriage life and jump in her boat... Beside that, a new episode in my ex just started when she finished her studies and got a job... Also, my parents didn't like her too much and her parents didn't like mine either... When we got married I was 24 and she was only 21 and after 6 years she became a different person but still! She didn't want to fight with me so only what she did is to take all her stuff and some of mine as well and left the house leaving me a letter with very stupid reasons...
My parents was happy and satisfied. I was lost for some days seeking the reason why a person is able to do that... A friend of mine told me that it was planned long time. Well, maybe!! but it is a different story.
I told my wife about my ex-life in all details and I told her that to me the marriage is to make stable family and have kids and that she can't what the other one did. She just told me that that stupid doesn't know what she missed. Meaning that I am a good guy.

Well. Long story become short, in all the time being together she built up a big list of bad things I've done to her and most of them was related to bad luck or destiny and she accuses me for everything even when it is raining sometimes...

To mention also: When she is sick, she can't support the pain and wish to die all the time... She is often depressed and for no reason and always complaining about her look, her car, her house, her life ....
About me? I am always happy (even now) always satisfied about what I have. Always appreciating everything she is doing (even now that she is not yelling on me) and trying to live the life.

I think I need to make my re-search about her case and I need to act for a solution. I think she knows that I am attached to her by the child and that I'll not go out because of him... Maybe that's how she is thinking. 

I don't know. I rather like to not think about all that and get myself working working working...


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## chefmaster (Oct 30, 2010)

MIMO said:


> Please answer my question: Does her quick change means anything?? I mean, if somebody called or came, she comes back to normal very fast.


Yea it's a good sign under the circustances was just trying to see how much control she had and see if she could stop herself if necessary.

You are definitely going to have to find a way to talk about going to counseling with her though.


In the meantime if you want, try this exercise:

Find a place with two benches facing one another where one of the benches is against a wall and there are plenty of people around(keep an eye out for a place you can do this.) and have her sit down on the bench with her back against a wall and you sit on the other bench.

Tell her you want to find out why she's so worried about you looking around at other people. Ask her to stare into your eyes so she knows you are looking at her with nothing else to see but a wall then tell her to glance at people walking by then look back to your eyes.

Now ask her to describe the next person that walks by. Let her tell you. Then do it again. Kinda record the descriptions in your head, is she looking at faces? clothes? hairstyles? Is she avoiding muscles? butts? boobs?

We are trying to get an idea of what it is she doesn't want you to see. If it's as I suspect it will be their bodies, not their fashion.

Now ask her to look at the next guy that walks by and tell you if he has a cute butt. If she doesn't smile immediately she likely will crack a smile the minute she sees a butt while you are staring at her eyes . Then ask her to describe it and see if she blushes.

Try and continue this way til you see a break in her attitude about people watching. If you get to this point try to keep her talking until it clicks with her that she's been being silly about the whole thing.

We are just trying to break a habit she has and see if that will cause her to let up on you while you guys are out and about.


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## takris (Sep 22, 2010)

MIMO said:


> To mention also: When she is sick, she can't support the pain and wish to die all the time... She is often depressed and for no reason and always complaining about her look, her car, her house, her life .......


One thing I've learned from having a wife with borderline personality disorder is that we all have these personality traits to some degree, but this is one of the classic traits. Does she only talk about dying when she is in pain, or is this a common thread? Sadly, whenever my wife is even a little late coming home, I fear that she has made good on her fantasy to crash into a tree. Yes, her psychologist and therapist know, but don't seem overly concerned.

It is possible that your wife struggles to put things in perspective. Has a hard time seeing that sometimes bad things just happen. Once you become the contributor to her insecurity, she starts pinning everything on you as your fault.


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## Christine11 (Sep 13, 2010)

Hi MIMO, from what you explain it sounds like your wife has some kind of mental condition. To be fair to her, make sure you are honest with yourself and answer the question (you don't have to tell us): Did I ever have a very close or physical connection with another female that could have contributed to her feeling the way she does? 

If you can honestly answer no then obviously something is going on in her brain we can't understand. I believe she needs a medical professional to figure out what would help her cope with it.

Chefmaster, loved your little 'test.'
Takris, you're so right with your last paragraph.


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## MIMO (Oct 1, 2010)

Christine11 said:


> Hi MIMO, from what you explain it sounds like your wife has some kind of mental condition. To be fair to her, make sure you are honest with yourself and answer the question (you don't have to tell us): Did I ever have a very close or physical connection with another female that could have contributed to her feeling the way she does?
> 
> If you can honestly answer no then obviously something is going on in her brain we can't understand. I believe she needs a medical professional to figure out what would help her cope with it.
> 
> ...


As I told you, home - work - home. I even have no friends... See, your question remind me one thing. It happened many times that she woke up in the morning mad on me! and the reason, the only reason, she had a dream where I was doing bad things like talking to another girl or walking around with another girl... she never described more than that. Because of such dream she can be very mad on me. She believes that she is having such dreams because of reason...


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

MIMO said:


> As I told you, home - work - home. I even have no friends... See, your question remind me one thing. It happened many times that she woke up in the morning mad on me! and the reason, the only reason, she had a dream where I was doing bad things like talking to another girl or walking around with another girl... she never described more than that. Because of such dream she can be very mad on me. She believes that she is having such dreams because of reason...


Sounds like you're afraid of her reactions.


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## MIMO (Oct 1, 2010)

Conrad said:


> Sounds like you're afraid of her reactions.


Yes! Actually I am. I try the impossible to not upset her... I quit TV, quit Movies, quit chatting with my family members and friends, quit Facebook.... everything just to make her happy but she always finding something to fight about. Sometimes it is a word, sometimes an attitude and some times that just you are tired and that you want to sleep instead of sitting and talk... And sometimes for anything and even the things that you can't control like the weather or the high prices... She is willing to fight and argue for any reason. Real Viking yeah.

Now, since the last battle, we don't talk. I'll not initiate a talk for now. I want to give her time so she maybe figures things out. Maybe it is a bad decision but frankly I don't want argue/fight anymore. I love peaceful life.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

MIMO said:


> Yes! Actually I am. I try the impossible to not upset her... I quit TV, quit Movies, quit chatting with my family members and friends, quit Facebook.... everything just to make her happy but she always finding something to fight about. Sometimes it is a word, sometimes an attitude and some times that just you are tired and that you want to sleep instead of sitting and talk... And sometimes for anything and even the things that you can't control like the weather or the high prices... She is willing to fight and argue for any reason. Real Viking yeah.
> 
> Now, since the last battle, we don't talk. I'll not initiate a talk for now. I want to give her time so she maybe figures things out. Maybe it is a bad decision but frankly I don't want argue/fight anymore. I love peaceful life.


Think about this.

You've just basically stopped doing everything that previously made you interesting.

And, you're expecting her to love you?


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## MIMO (Oct 1, 2010)

Conrad said:


> Think about this.
> 
> You've just basically stopped doing everything that previously made you interesting.
> 
> And, you're expecting her to love you?


Exactly, I guess... That's why I clean the dust over the TV and living back the life I was living before. Satisfied so far but still accompanied with a feeling of "lost" or the guilt of unfinished task.


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## MIMO (Oct 1, 2010)

**UPDATE**

Ok, Yesterday her sister went in between and she like fixed everything. In that time my wife kept quite and didn't say anything. I had to agree with the transmitted requirements and to comment on my wife's still aggressive attitude. After the talk, her sister left and my wife went back to her room and shut the door. Today I had to do overtime at work so before I left in the morning I left her a message that I need to go to work today and that I'll be back later. coming back from work, I tried to call her but she didn't pick up. Later she said that she didn't hear the phone ringing.
Now she keeps avoiding me and not talking with me at all. I asked her till when you will keep doing that? she said in her famous bad attitude "till I forget what you've done to me". I believe the punishment must fit crime and I believe she is over doing it. Well, she keeps doing weird stuff by going out and in from time to time and talking on the phone for long time... I really don't know how should I react. That's why I'm writing you here seeking for help. Do you thing I should ignore her for now??


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

MIMO said:


> **UPDATE**
> 
> Ok, Yesterday her sister went in between and she like fixed everything. In that time my wife kept quite and didn't say anything. I had to agree with the transmitted requirements and to comment on my wife's still aggressive attitude. After the talk, her sister left and my wife went back to her room and shut the door. Today I had to do overtime at work so before I left in the morning I left her a message that I need to go to work today and that I'll be back later. coming back from work, I tried to call her but she didn't pick up. Later she said that she didn't hear the phone ringing.
> Now she keeps avoiding me and not talking with me at all. I asked her till when you will keep doing that? she said in her famous bad attitude "till I forget what you've done to me". I believe the punishment must fit crime and I believe she is over doing it. Well, she keeps doing weird stuff by going out and in from time to time and talking on the phone for long time... I really don't know how should I react. That's why I'm writing you here seeking for help. Do you thing I should ignore her for now??


Men are allowed to have needs, but not to be needy.

You're sounding pretty needy.


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## MIMO (Oct 1, 2010)

Conrad said:


> Men are allowed to have needs, but not to be needy.
> 
> You're sounding pretty needy.


Tell me, will you be needy if you don't need to see your wife face thunder storming every time you look at her? Or when you expect some wife -y touches in your marriage life?

Is that needy???


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

MIMO said:


> Tell me, will you be needy if you don't need to see your wife face thunder storming every time you look at her? Or when you expect some wife -y touches in your marriage life?
> 
> Is that needy???


Have you read the man-up thread at the top of the page?


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## MIMO (Oct 1, 2010)

Conrad said:


> Have you read the man-up thread at the top of the page?


Yep. Useful.. What I'm actually doing is playing the game too. I'm ignoring her the same way she is ignoring me. She said she needs time to forget the harm I've done to her (which is really nothing) and now trying every while to get on my nerves or to get more attention... I'm just ignoring....

A lot of things useful in this forum. I was reading all day long  and really we have some perfect minds here. I wish I found this forum before.

Thank you all. I wish I can be helpful one day...


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

MIMO said:


> Yep. Useful.. What I'm actually doing is playing the game too. I'm ignoring her the same way she is ignoring me. She said she needs time to forget the harm I've done to her (which is really nothing) and now trying every while to get on my nerves or to get more attention... I'm just ignoring....
> 
> A lot of things useful in this forum. I was reading all day long  and really we have some perfect minds here. I wish I found this forum before.
> 
> Thank you all. I wish I can be helpful one day...


Don't merely ignore.

Use humor.

Read for content. Play around. Be yourself.

The more attractive you are to her, the quicker all those horrible "hurts" will vanish.


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## MIMO (Oct 1, 2010)

Conrad said:


> Don't merely ignore.
> 
> Use humor.
> 
> ...


Well, I don't see any harm done by me. Maybe a lot done by her but nobody is admitting (cussing, hitting, ...) and after all I don't believe what she is doing is a good way to fix family conflict. To me she is only making the situation worse... Well. Will see how long I'll hold till I'll make a move... Move out!


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## ThinkTooMuch (Aug 6, 2010)

I think this is not a relationship issue as some here suggest, but a result of your wife's mental issue(s). You need to see a smart counselor, I'd suggest a Licensed Clinical Social Worker or Ph.D psychologist, skip marriage counselors unless they have a very good education in psychological issues, your wife's reactions are off the chart and well into the territory of the DSM. Warning - a lot of folks with degrees and certifications have been "grandfathered in" and don't know a lot, have forgotten even more. I am married/separated/soon to start divorce of one of the latter, even when I loved her dearly I wouldn't want to be her client, for that matter, most of her colleagues, if I had to deal with serious issues. 

You may find that there is nothing that can be done for your wife and your marriage, only what you can do for your child and yourself. Your first duty is to protect the kid. 

Your w might be depressed, some depressed folks will act in similar ways, but many other labels can apply. Fortunately there are ways to treat depression with some success.

My first wife suffered from what I now believe is borderline personality disorder. Uptown posted a useful link for this very serious problem
Borderline Personality Disorder - Support group for families and relationship partners
I have no idea if your w has this condition, I suggest you read some of this, if it is applicable you have some very tough years ahead of you. 

Good luck.



MIMO said:


> Well, I don't see any harm done by me. Maybe a lot done by her but nobody is admitting (cussing, hitting, ...) and after all I don't believe what she is doing is a good way to fix family conflict. To me she is only making the situation worse... Well. Will see how long I'll hold till I'll make a move... Move out!


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## MIMO (Oct 1, 2010)

Well, as update:

After fixing everything and a long time talk. Things seem to be back to normal... BUT! everytime when we go close to our subject she starts asking questions again like: Why you did that and that and starts saying the same like I can't trust you and that she is still feeling hurt and that she can't live like that ... Also, she thinks she is perfect and she has only to control her temper but else everything is just perfect and if there is any problem in our relation so it is coming from me...

I don't know where she goes with the extreme jealousy and all the not-trust things and that she wants control my life by preventing me doing a lot of things and by attacking my personality in any occasion... Well, I love my son, I love my wife, the person I met before the marriage and the idea I always have about her. I know that there is no hope and that our marriage might fall any time because of her way of thinking and dealing with life but well. I have no choice.


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