# A disturbing question



## CanadaDry (Jan 17, 2017)

I had thought of a disturbing question the other day. Well, the question isn't so much disturbing as is my answer, so here it goes:

Of you and your spouse, which of you is more likely to cheat?

My answer: My wife is more likely to cheat. I know this because I am fiercely dedicated to her and the thought of being with anyone else makes me cringe. But I think if she were asked that question, she would probably laugh and say that she's more likely to cheat than me. Which is a horrible answer. I'm never going to ask her that question because I don't want to hear her answer. The best answer each spouse can give is to say their spouse would cheat, because they know their own heart and that they would never cheat.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

I have never cheated on my gf and I never intend to.
But if I wanted to I could and believe me she would never find out.
I may sound naive but I don't think my gf would cheat on me.


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

I have trouble trusting anyone that would have me as a husband


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

CanadaDry said:


> I had thought of a disturbing question the other day. Well, the question isn't so much disturbing as is my answer, so here it goes:
> 
> 
> 
> ...




It is basic psychology that everyone thinks they are more faithful, smarter, better driver etc. 

It's the old cliche. 90% of people think they are better than the average. 

You don't think you will cheat, until you do. Your thinking is false. You should assume you can cheat and therefore set boundaries to lower the probability.


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## Saibasu (Nov 3, 2016)

CanadaDry said:


> I had thought of a disturbing question the other day. Well, the question isn't so much disturbing as is my answer, so here it goes:
> 
> Of you and your spouse, which of you is more likely to cheat?
> 
> My answer: My wife is more likely to cheat. I know this because I am fiercely dedicated to her and the thought of being with anyone else makes me cringe. But I think if she were asked that question, she would probably laugh and say that she's more likely to cheat than me. Which is a horrible answer. I'm never going to ask her that question because I don't want to hear her answer. The best answer each spouse can give is to say their spouse would cheat, because they know their own heart and that they would never cheat.


If I had to pick, I would say my husband would be more likely to cheat. I too am fiercely dedicated to him. And he would probably agree with me. But my husband can be selfish at times and selfish people are liklier to do selfish things.


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

blueinbr said:


> It is basic psychology that everyone thinks they are more faithful, smarter, better driver etc.
> 
> It's the old cliche. 90% of people think they are better than the average.
> 
> You don't think you will cheat, until you do. Your thinking is false. You should assume you can cheat and therefore set boundaries to lower the probability.


Base Rate Neglect


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I'm much more likely to cheat. My wife has almost no interest in sex so she has no motivation to cheat (physically).


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

uhtred said:


> I'm much more likely to cheat. My wife has almost no interest in sex so she has no motivation to cheat (physically).




It is probable then you have no emotional connection with your wife so she probably will have an EA.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

I didn't cheat on my ex, despite plenty of motivation (sexless marriage), and opportunity. My wife didn't cheat on her ex, either, despite similar circumstances. I don't think either of us will cheat.


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## Apexmale (Jul 31, 2015)

uhtred said:


> I'm much more likely to cheat. My wife has almost no interest in sex so she has no motivation to cheat (physically).


Beware. There's is always someone out there that can change that motivation.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*I've never cheated in two marriages and am extremely proud of that accomplishment! Something that neither of my XW's can say!

I just don't think that I have cheating anywhere in my core because I don't think that it's right, and whose end result would have the marked possibility of hurting countless innocent people!

If there's ever a third Mrs. Arb, then I'm going to probably have to be blind by faith, and give her the benefit of the doubt, until her actions might prove otherwise!*


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

CanadaDry said:


> I had thought of a disturbing question the other day. Well, the question isn't so much disturbing as is my answer, so here it goes:
> 
> Of you and your spouse, which of you is more likely to cheat?
> 
> My answer: My wife is more likely to cheat. I know this because I am fiercely dedicated to her and the thought of being with anyone else makes me cringe. But I think if she were asked that question, she would probably laugh and say that she's more likely to cheat than me. Which is a horrible answer. I'm never going to ask her that question because I don't want to hear her answer. The best answer each spouse can give is to say their spouse would cheat, because they know their own heart and that they would never cheat.


That's easy: my husband (based on past behaviour and his character of entitlement)


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

uhtred said:


> I'm much more likely to cheat. My wife has almost no interest in sex so she has no motivation to cheat (physically).


I hate to say this, but sometimes cheaters have no motivation to sleep with their SO but if someone comes along and ignites the fire within , well......................


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Ohhhhhhh evil question. >

Setting aside the "neither of us" scenario..
This may sound bizarre, but I think I would be more likely to have a PA.
He would be more likely to have a EA (online attention).


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

CanadaDry said:


> I had thought of a disturbing question the other day. Well, the question isn't so much disturbing as is my answer, so here it goes:
> 
> Of you and your spouse, which of you is more likely to cheat?
> 
> My answer: My wife is more likely to cheat. I know this because I am fiercely dedicated to her and the thought of being with anyone else makes me cringe. But I think if she were asked that question, she would probably laugh and say that she's more likely to cheat than me. Which is a horrible answer. I'm never going to ask her that question because I don't want to hear her answer. The best answer each spouse can give is to say their spouse would cheat, because they know their own heart and that they would never cheat.


Interesting question but are you sure about that answer?

You see, you thought up that question.

So is it possible that you would be the one who would be the first to stray, perhaps? Rather than your wife?


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## Apexmale (Jul 31, 2015)

arbitrator said:


> *I've never cheated in two marriages and am extremely proud of that accomplishment! Something that neither of my XW's can say!
> 
> I just don't think that I have cheating anywhere in my core because I don't think that it's right, and whose end result would have the marked possibility of hurting countless innocent people!
> 
> If there's ever a third Mrs. Arb, then I'm going to probably have to be blind by faith, and give her the benefit of the doubt, until her actions might prove otherwise!*


We are all blind by faith and give them the benefit of the doubt. That's pretty much as certain as we can ever be.


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## prunus (Oct 29, 2016)

uhtred said:


> I'm much more likely to cheat. My wife has almost no interest in sex so she has no motivation to cheat (physically).


My ex had no interest in sex (after we married), but cheated physically and emotionally.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

Although it would never happen, I believe I would be more likely to cheat than my wife would. 

Sent from my LG-US996 using Tapatalk


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

The toughest nut has a split line.

The seam is there for a reason.

It exists so as to make the seed case breakable.

If not broken from external leverage, then a long wet spring followed by warm soil will cause the nut to erupt from its irresistible inner pressure. The hydraulic wet and warm "Yes" force overcomes the assuageable "No".

In men we call this blue ball fever................ in women, a wanton desire for love is suddenly met. The warm flush fills first her heart, then her face then her heated thoughts melts her encased resolve.


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## blueberries (Dec 4, 2016)

It would be me.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

I cannot be the first.

My gut says I have already been betrayed. 

The proof? Never to be known. 

When a gun has been fired it leaves powder burns and microscopic traces of the components of gunpowder. Our marriage has undergone many remodelings.

If no blood is found and no grinning corpse lays in view and no admission is forthcoming than the trail goes cold. And so follows a cold doubting heart heart.


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

So what's going on and how does this question tie in with your other thread. As to bald skinny guy with beards, yes WS often affair way down.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

I would have cheated long ago but interns aren't my type, and the pool of women my age here strongly resembles the bar scene in Star Wars, Jabba the Hut included...


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

TX-SC said:


> Although it would never happen, I believe I would be more likely to cheat than my wife would.
> 
> Sent from my LG-US996 using Tapatalk


And as Fate would have it.............the reverse sometimes happens.

Naive' and trusting to a fault and to the end, We be.

TAM is the light bulb that lays bare and exposes the two sentences above. Counters the sad life-sentence imposed by that conjoining Justice of the Peace.

The peace that never comes. The betraying piece of flesh that we unbeknownst share with thieving OM's/OW's.

Neither partner coming as in together........rather coming only in an-other with an-other. Sad, yay tis.

God be with us, lest he not. Naught, and the Devil standing in HIS stead.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

SunCMars said:


> And as Fate would have it.............the reverse sometimes happens.
> 
> Naive' and trusting to a fault and to the end, We be.
> 
> ...


I know I just read something moving, but I'll be damn if I know what it was. 

Sent from my LG-US996 using Tapatalk


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

john117 said:


> I would have cheated long ago but interns aren't my type, and the pool of women my age here strongly resembles the bar scene in Star Wars, Jabba the Hut included...


In real estate lingo...location, location, location!

Or, change teams.:wink2:


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## Hellomynameis (Dec 16, 2016)

I have not physically cheated on my STBX despite having been separated from him since 2004. He had the PAs (don't know how many) I had an EA in response to his first PA. Not in revenge but purely for comfort.

I suppose it could be said that I had an EA with a coworker this past year. But considering he was in the process of divorcing and I am long term separated with no hope of reconciliation, I don't see it as cheating. And I never let it get physical although he was obviously interested.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

I think neither my W or I would cheat TBH. Now, that being said (and maybe going by my W half joking when I got home late from work last week asking me if I was banging the secretary lol), I think you could argue that at face value I would be more likely to cheat (like I said though, I would never do).


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## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

Easy for me to say since almost all of my relationships have ended up with them cheating in one way or another (though my HS girlfriend I broke up with because I thought I was going to get tons...bad move).

Anyway, when people say "I'd never cheat on you" or "I love him/her too much to cheat on them", that makes me cringe. Cheating has nothing to do with the other person you are with. Your love for them isn't an immune system, and when it drops, the virus breaks out. Cheating is 100% about you. I have never cheated, have never even thought of it over the course of my lifetime, because I would never want to be that person. Maybe cause it makes me feel better than other people, who knows. But it's really about cheating on yourself, not the other person.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Hellomynameis said:


> *I have not physically cheated on my STBX despite having been separated from him since 2004.* He had the PAs (don't know how many) I had an EA in response to his first PA. Not in revenge but purely for comfort.
> 
> I suppose it could be said that I had an EA with a coworker this past year. But considering he was in the process of divorcing and I am long term separated with no hope of reconciliation, I don't see it as cheating. And I never let it get physical although he was obviously interested.


Oh Boy, ;-{ Ice crystals are forming.

Since 2004! That is many years, many full length, full body "rub togethers". Many climaxes, many orgasms, many smiles, many sweaty workouts. All those days and nights never to return. 

To each her own. To each her own prison.

There is a woman for every man, and many men for every woman willing to share and love herself and others. You *CAN* have a love life. But that sensual reality is in an open *CAN.* Not one with a rusty, corroded, neglected and sealed lid. Open up. Time has buried you.


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## Hellomynameis (Dec 16, 2016)

SunCMars said:


> Oh Boy, ;-{ Ice crystals are forming.
> 
> Since 2004! That is many years, many full length, full body "rub togethers". Many climaxes, many orgasms, many smiles, many sweaty workouts. All those days and nights never to return.
> 
> ...


I will not get involved with another man as long as I am legally married. It goes against everything I believe in. In the beginning we stayed married because I needed his health insurance. Then he disappeared. It's hard to divorce someone you can't find. And now that I'm disabled again, I'm not sure I dare divorce just in case the federal government truly does revoke coverage for those with pre existing conditions. My medical bills in 2016 would have been close to $20,000 without insurance and that's not including prescriptions.

Besides, between my health issues and my emotional baggage, I wouldn't wish myself on my worst enemy. And it's awfully hard to meet anyone anyway, when you can't even leave your house without a caregiver.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

john117 said:


> I would have cheated long ago but interns aren't my type, and the pool of women my age here strongly resembles the bar scene in Star Wars, Jabba the Hut included...


Are you in a research facility in the Antarctic? Maybe you haven't cheated because the women there describe you the same way.


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

Reminds me of the thread a few years ago when a woman got all pissy after asking her husband who he would save in a sinking boat and he said "my brother". 

Some questions and hypotheticals are just too stupid to ask. End result is the same, once someone cheats the relationship is over anyway so what does it matter who did the deed?


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

You are in a tight spot. I feel bad for you.

You are home bound. But visitors should be welcome.

Tell them to bring good intentions, good wishes, good kisses, warm hands and a bucket of patience.

With those things you can make an ample entree' using your fur pie menu.

No, you won't.


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

SunCMars said:


> You are in a tight spot. I feel bad for you.
> 
> You are home bound. But visitors should be welcome.
> 
> ...


You just broke the internet with that post.
Even my Shakespeare translator app has no clue as to what you just said.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

I would say neither my W or I would cheat. But then again, the Titanic was claimed to be unsinkable.


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## Hellomynameis (Dec 16, 2016)

SunCMars said:


> You are in a tight spot. I feel bad for you.
> 
> You are home bound. But visitors should be welcome.
> 
> ...


Lol. Sounds good in theory. In practice I live with my parents at 46 years old and they both also have health issues and rarely leave the house either.

I've never actually asked my doctor, but I'm not even sure sex is on my allowed activities list. I'm not supposed to do things that could raise my heart rate or blood pressure. They're already too high, even with medication.


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## tropicalbeachiwish (Jun 1, 2016)

MrsHolland said:


> You just broke the internet with that post.
> Even my Shakespeare translator app has no clue as to what you just said.


He said to invite patient men over to her place and use her hoohah to have fun. :rofl:

That was my translation any ways.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

MrsHolland said:


> Reminds me of the thread a few years ago when a woman got all pissy after asking her husband who he would save in a sinking boat and he said "my brother".
> 
> Some questions and hypotheticals are just too stupid to ask. End result is the same, *once someone cheats the relationship is over anyway so what does it matter who did the deed?*


If both are indifferent, it matters not a plug..........nickle.

My butt, if one cares then the *relating* about the sunk ship haunts the betrayed. The sunk costs are not measured in dollars, but in tears. Tears soon diluted in the oceans depths.

The BS dives down into those murky waters and inspects the marriage "hull". Inspects it, up close, rubs their mind against the rotted planking of that sunken carcass.

Trying in vain to finding closure for that torpedoed gash, the gaping wound that the cheater rent wide open, then the ship went asunder. The offending *deed* done asunder the innocent's nose.

The Matter [?] is Pride; pride left ripped and hanging; witnessed and noted by all those that drape pity on the BS's corpse.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Hellomynameis said:


> Lol. Sounds good in theory. In practice I live with my parents at 46 years old and they both also have health issues and rarely leave the house either.
> 
> I've never actually asked my doctor, but I'm not even sure sex is on my allowed activities list. *I'm not supposed to do things that could raise my heart rate or blood pressure.* They're already too high, even with medication.


Maybe so. But what a way to die!

And not a way to...........................live.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Hellomynameis;17284089 And it's awfully hard to [B said:


> meet anyone[/B] anyway, when you can't even leave your house without a _caregiver._


One more bite at the apple, then off to do some chores.

Leave your _caregiver_ behind.

Invite your "Care to Give Her" a hickey, boyfriend.

He can be that kindly "anyone" that meets the meat up close.

Chuckles, Dear.


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## citygirl4344 (Mar 4, 2016)

MattMatt said:


> Interesting question but are you sure about that answer?
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Exactly

From my stance my husband as he's done it before...so easy answer.



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