# Introducing myself



## Hbluba0 (Aug 11, 2019)

Hello I'm 34 my husband is almost 31. We have three children. 13, 6 and 5. I have come here after close to a decade of marriage and struggles. My husband came into our engagement with subsistence abuse issues which he has since kicked but there are still issues we have from the fact it destroyed our wedding to a variety of parental issues that go on in his family. I've gotten to a place where I am spinning out. I feel exhausted and at times I truthfully want to throw my hands up and walk away.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Hello. Hopefully you'll find the help you need here.


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## Wolfman1968 (Jun 9, 2011)

Hbluba0 said:


> Hello I'm 34 my husband is almost 31. We have three children. 13, 6 and 5. I have come here after close to a decade of marriage and struggles. My husband came into our engagement with subsistence abuse issues which he has since kicked but there are still issues we have from the fact it destroyed our wedding to a variety of parental issues that go on in his family. I've gotten to a place where I am spinning out. I feel exhausted and at times I truthfully want to throw my hands up and walk away.



OK, we are here to give you our advice. We hope you find us helpful. You will get different opinions from different people, and that might be the greatest benefit of this site--giving you perspectives or ideas you might not have thought of on your own. As well as giving you the opportunity to hear from others' experiences.

It sounds good that he has kicked his substance abuse issues. That's something not everyone can do. That usually helps most marriages that are burdened by that; often the partner feels like the marriage has a second chance to succeed.

So please explain how the fallout continues to be an issue. I am not sure why the fact that it "destroyed your wedding" would continue to be an issue NOW. I can see how it would cause a problem then due to the stress and disruption, but if he has kicked his substance abuse, why is a wedding event from 10 years ago still causing problems now? Did something occur that has lasting irrevocable effects? (Like, drunkenly getting a bridesmaid pregnant, and now there is a child that must be dealt with? Or drunkenly killing someone in a DUI leaving the ceremony? ) I'm not sure that a ruined event itself should typically preclude a happy marriage---after all, many happy marriages were started with NO ceremony, only a legal event with the justice of the peace or equivalent.

Please expand on how the substance abuse continues to affect the marriage after he has "kicked" that problem.


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