# Inappropriate pictures



## Pluto2

Ok, I need some feedback because I can no longer tell if I am in denial or over-reacting.
My STBXH came for a weekend visit with the kids. He is now out-of-state, He was handing around the house and we were not having any issues. His laptop was there and I was trying to find a really cute picture I knew he had of one of our kids. I asked if I could transfer and he said sure. So I find the picture and send it to me. Then in the same folder I see a photo marked "jailbait". It is a picture of two girls in underwear. I have no idea how old but they could have been teenagers, or could have been adults trying to pass as teens. Part of me wants to vomit and call the cops and stop all visitation until I know for sure. I just don't know what to do.


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## lamaga

Ugh. That's awful.

I don't know. There are plenty of sites (barely legal) that have legal girls who pose as underaged girls, and while it's icky, it's not illegal.

I have never been in your position, so I cannot adequately advise you. Me, I'd let it go since I'm divorcing him and his laptop does not live in my house. But I'm sure others will have dissenting opinions.

Mostly, I'm just sorry you had to see this.


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## Pluto2

totally agree with the ick factor and with the fact that it could be legal. Maybe you're right, we certainly have enough other baggage to deal with in the divorce. But you know me, always worried about the kids.


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## SprucHub

Do not accuse someone of possessing child porn unless you know that they do. Those accusations will stick with him and could ruin his career and relationships, even if unfounded. Ask him about it if you are concerned (he'll deny whether he has or doesn't, so there is no real benefit to this).


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## ScaredandUnsure

SprucHub said:


> Do not accuse someone of possessing child porn unless you know that they do. Those accusations will stick with him and could ruin his career and relationships, even if unfounded. Ask him about it if you are concerned (he'll deny whether he has or doesn't, so there is no real benefit to this).


So how would one know if it was real child porn or not? Odds are it's legal girls posing as underage, but even that in itself is gross. But what if it is real? I don't think I'd ever be able to feel comfortable sending my minor children over to his home unsupervised.

Sorry I'm not much help. I've always thought the Barely Legal stuff is very disturbing. And I don't have any issues with porn, just porn that is made to look like child porn, I have issues with.


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## tacoma

Attempting to keep his child away from him over a porn pic is waaayy extreme .

It can be seriously dangerous to **** with a man like that.

Not so sure this is entirely about the pic.


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## Pluto2

tacoma said:


> Attempting to keep his child away from him over a porn pic is waaayy extreme .
> 
> It can be seriously dangerous to **** with a man like that.
> 
> Not so sure this is entirely about the pic.


I'm making no effort (at the moment) to keep him away from his children. But as others on the site have noted, there is no way to tell if its legal or not and that, right there, is my dilemma. I don't have a problem with porn and he's free to do what he wants. Its just that my first reaction when I saw it was, "My god, these girls look like they could be classmates with our oldest daughter (14)." So I honestly don't know what to do. This isn't some vendetta against my STBX.


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## sculley

I'm not an advocate of the whole being a detective at all...... however if it were me in this specific situation (and it's not so that's a good thing) I would do snooping because as a mother myself that would disturb me to NO end.... You just can never be too sure these days and in my eyes if it affects my children watch out. I have known a few friends that grew up in a household where their parents or step parents were crossing lines with them....It's disgusting and I don't know what I would do with myself if I let a picture go without doing snooping especially if your feeling was right. I am not saying report him etc on that one photo alone but honestly I would snoop cause I rather be safe than sorry...


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## sculley

tacoma said:


> Attempting to keep his child away from him over a porn pic is waaayy extreme .
> 
> It can be seriously dangerous to **** with a man like that.
> 
> Not so sure this is entirely about the pic.


Nowhere in the OP opening statement is there any anomosity showing she wants to keep her kids away from him. She is a concerned mom and when a mother is concerned they can be a little emotional. What a way to speculate..


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## specwar

Interesting that you immediately jump to the illegal conclusion. You must not think much of your ex..

Here is a reality check for a bunch of people. Guys like porn. As in almost all guys. And you think it is icky. Lets remember that you were the one digging into his personal stuff. What you did was the equivalent of him rumaging through your purse. 

I have to laugh because it is always funny to me that girls are always saying that they are just like guys and then they get surprised when they see naked pictures of girls. Guys think about sex much of the time. Not some of the time. Or most of the time. All of the time.

My advice to you would be if you can tell obviously that they are small children in the photo then you turn him in. If you are offended that you ex looks at naked women (that seem young) then you need to own your own problem because ALL MEN love looking at the famale form. If you think they don't then you are wrong. Some of us are really really really good at hiding it because we are supposed to. On another quick note there are (many) women out there that look like they are in their teens into their late 20's and some into their 30's.

Good luck with your decision


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## ScaredandUnsure

specwar said:


> Interesting that you immediately jump to the illegal conclusion. You must not think much of your ex..
> 
> Here is a reality check for a bunch of people. Guys like porn. As in almost all guys. And you think it is icky. Lets remember that you were the one digging into his personal stuff. What you did was the equivalent of him rumaging through your purse.
> 
> I have to laugh because it is always funny to me that girls are always saying that they are just like guys and then they get surprised when they see naked pictures of girls. Guys think about sex much of the time. Not some of the time. Or most of the time. All of the time.
> 
> My advice to you would be if you can tell obviously that they are small children in the photo then you turn him in. If you are offended that you ex looks at naked women (that seem young) then you need to own your own problem because ALL MEN love looking at the famale form. If you think they don't then you are wrong. Some of us are really really really good at hiding it because we are supposed to. On another quick note there are (many) women out there that look like they are in their teens into their late 20's and some into their 30's.
> 
> Good luck with your decision


I don't think the problem is whether or not her ex husband is looking at naked women, I think the problem is that her ex husband is possibly looking at children the age of their 14 yr old daughter. See the difference? Legal porn is one thing, illegal porn is well...illegal and disgusting and anyone who defends it has something wrong with them and shouldn't be left alone with anyone under the age of 18.


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## papa5280

Quick question. Did the picture look like commercial quality? Were there any logos or website info in the picture? If so, they are almost certainly of age and legal.If that's the case, I'm in the same camp as specwar.

If they looked homemade, "underground" and had no discernible identifiers on them, then they MIGHT be under-aged girls and grounds for concern.


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## Hope1964

I am confused as to how exactly you emailed yourself a whole folder when all you were looking for was one picture.

I also don't agree that you should do anything about this. Unless the pictures look like papa5280 said, kids being held captive or made to do something against their will, it sounds to me like the girls in the pic posed willingly (please correct me if I am wrong) and just look possibly underage. I don't know for sure, but it seems logical there would be a huge market for such pics.

We have an 18 year old daughter, but it doesn't bother me that many of the girls in porn that we watch together are possibly around that age. My brain doesn't even go there.

What exactly is it about the picture that bothers you? Have you looked at a lot of porn? Is this pic different somehow? Because there are a ton of pics that _could_ be underage girls out there but aren't.


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## Gaia

Ok the issue here is clearly not her SOON to be EX husband looking at naked WOMEN... or porn. The issue here is... there was a file labeled JAILBAIT, the women, whether legal or not, looked to be their daughters age. It's the very IDEA of pedophilia that she is concerned about.. and she has a right to be concerned. Ideas can easily be put into action once dwelled upon enough. She is clearly not concerned with it being PORN and it seems a few of you are jumping to the conclusion that.. "Oh it's just porn..." No.. she is concerned about the... "RED FLAGS" in her mind.. that indicate .. as said.. pedophilia. I do agree with the suggestion that the OP make sure it's NOT headed in that direction before reacting though.


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## Trojan John

Two young girls in underwear does not equate to porn.
Still creepy though.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Gaia

Trojan John said:


> Two young girls in underwear does not equate to porn.
> Still creepy though.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That's true...


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## Hope1964

Ok. If the folder/picture was not labeled JAILBAIT, would the picture itself have rung any alarm bells?


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## ScaredandUnsure

Are they bare breasted? Posed provocatively? I'm sure there is kiddie porn that isn't full nude babies, but even having children pose in a provocative stance is still considered porn of a sort. Still illegal as hell in the U.S. In case you didn't know, many parents get into trouble for taking pictures of their kids taking a bath or streaking across the living room.

Speaking of, a friend of mine, her father went to prison a few years ago for possessing child porn (well half dressed teenage girl porn) and he had molested both his daughters for many years, neither of them ever told anyone (even their mother) until he went to prison. He was also a middle school teacher for over 25 years and he kept the porn on his computer at school (not at home, his wife had no idea)

I'm not saying get out the pitch forks and string him up. But I would NOT be okay with sending my 14 yr old daughter to someone who seems to be turned on by the age group. And as Gaia pointed out, the title is "JAILBAIT" either it's real or he has a fetish for jailbait. Either way it would still worry me. I wouldn't be okay with letting it slide.


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## Pluto2

Ok, more info.
First, I didn't email myself anything. I was looking on his laptop for pictures of our children. He hasn't labeled the pictures at all, so I had to open and see what they were. The pictures were not labeled "jail bait" in the folder, only when I opened the file.
Even without the title I was surprised at how young the girls looked, which is why I was asking for some input here. The girls were in sheer lingerie, and in an extremely provocative pose that suggested they were engaged in sexual activity. It did not look professional, it looked like they were in someone's living room.
Again, I am not out to destroy my ex, which is why I've done nothing. But I keep wondering about those girls, and then about mine. All visitation is at my house for the time being, not because I was concerned about anything, just for financial reasons. Its complicated, he's out of state and I was actually trying to make visitation easier for him by providing a place to see his children without an additional cost to him. 
Thanks for all the replies.


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## Hope1964

OK with that info, I would have a problem too.

Are you able to have a look at his history or anything? I would try and see if that's the only thing on his computer or if there's more.

What would he do if you asked him about it? Or asked to take a look in his computer?


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## NewM

Is it one of those black background with white writing below the picture?
Something like this?









If it is I don't think that is anything serious,usually those temple pictures are used as jokes to post on forums or emailing them.
If he was some pedo guy I don't think he would have pictures saying jailbait in them.


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