# my story



## ash192008 (Sep 8, 2008)

I really need some advice. I will try to make this short and sweet but make it so ya'll will understand. I have been married to my husband David for almost 2 years now and we have been together for 2 years but anyways, it definitely has been hard from the start and I knew being married wasn't easy or anything, I knew it was going to be hard work but not this hard. I have cheated on him several times, I drink a lot and thats another reason why I cheat , because usually alcohol is involved. I love to drink and always have. He is just a different person now , we used to have so much fun together, we used to make love several times a day and now we only make love once a week or once every two weeks. its gotten that bad! I have needs and when they aren't being met, I tend to get bored, that might sound horrible but honestly all women have needs. I love him but I just don't know what to do anymore. He is a navy veteran and now we get unemployment, we both dont have jobs, we both don't go to school...it just seems he doesn't have any ambition anymore and thats another thing that is making me drift away from him. I have left him 2 times and almost a third time but he always convinces me this is just a rough patch and we will get through it but there are so many reasons why I should leave. I just dont know what to do anymore. It is making me very depressed. Any advice??? I don't want to hear any advice if its negative, I am a human being so judge me if you want.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

ash192008 said:


> I don't want to hear any advice if its negative, I am a human being so judge me if you want.


That's very interesting. You're a sensitive soul, i take it. 



ash192008 said:


> I have cheated on him several times, I drink a lot and thats another reason why I cheat , because usually alcohol is involved. I love to drink and always have.


I think you should consider going to A.A.



ash192008 said:


> we both dont have jobs, we both don't go to school...


what do you both do all day?



ash192008 said:


> I have needs and when they aren't being met, I tend to get bored, that might sound horrible but honestly all women have needs.


I think you are bored because you do nothing all day. I dont know that it has a lot to do with him. He's not there to entertain you. You ought to find something you can do that contributes positively to your environment. 



ash192008 said:


> Any advice???


You are very selfish and will have a very difficult life until you figure that out.


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## ash192008 (Sep 8, 2008)

ha ok thanks for that! any other negative things ppl want to say? I mean I am asking for advice not to be insulted!


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

You do need AA. Oh and suggesting AA advice by the way. It was not a slam. Secondly, have you told him about your infidelities?


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## ash192008 (Sep 8, 2008)

not the AA..I got mad about how the person said I was selfish, she doesnt even know me or about my life. and yeah he knows about some of it.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Learn about mature decisionmaking based on the idea of respecting your marriage vows, being an honest person, and nurturing love and affection with your spouse.

Reflect on the self destructiveness of negative behavior. Study up on the folly of excusemaking, especially the kind based on the idea that drinking is a good excuse for negative behavior.

Think back to when you learned about right and wrong and start living to those precepts.


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## ash192008 (Sep 8, 2008)

the only reason i do it is because he is mentally abusive with me ...and he has pushed me a couple times in the past. but he never gives me any attention! he is always on the xbox or computer playin games!


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

Then dump the idiot. Don't debase yourself. You're an attractive girl, why would you hurt yourself mentally (and you are hurting yourself) by getting drunk and doing any guy who shows you attention?


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

ash192008 said:


> the only reason i do it is because he is mentally abusive with me ...and he has pushed me a couple times in the past. but he never gives me any attention! he is always on the xbox or computer playin games!


Reread my post. Think about it. Then react.


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## 1nurse (Jan 21, 2009)

The whole foundation for a healthy, mature relationship is to have two healthy "I's" before you get a healthy "we". Choose wisely and treat kindly. Sounds like neither one of you has done this. If you're not open to accept honest and sound advice then how do you expect to achieve any real results? Not only with your marriage but your life. Sometimes you have to face some hard truths about your behavior and choices you might not like to hear. Nobody really wants to feel sadness, guilt or shame for our bad choices but it's the first step to rebuilding your life and marriage. Do you have a drinking problem? Intoxication and promiscuity are usually red flags for more deeper problems and issues you may have had for some time. Have you considered seeing a professional therapist? I think it would really help you. Good Luck.


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