# CWI - it's just mad!



## Headspin (May 13, 2012)

Isn't this place incredible - just unbelievable

Anyone lurking through this forum who has never been any where near infidelity would simply think this is clearly a complete and utter loony bin ! or the place we all check in pre loony bin ! :lol:

Even though some of the stories are trolls and off the wall us having been through infidelity you really know how madly true most of it is 

I mean most of it you could not make up could you - it must be true :scratchhead:

I still have to pinch myself that this place and it's insanity is actually here!

I know at heart this is a deeply sad place to be involved in but sometimes you have to view it with a lighter heart


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

Headspin said:


> Isn't this place incredible - just unbelievable
> 
> Anyone lurking through this forum who has never been any where near infidelity would simply think this is clearly a complete and utter loony bin ! or the place we all check in pre loony bin ! :lol:
> 
> ...


Infidelity makes you nuts, alright.


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## UsernameHere (Sep 26, 2013)

Headspin said:


> Isn't this place incredible - just unbelievable
> 
> Anyone lurking through this forum who has never been any where near infidelity would simply think this is clearly a complete and utter loony bin ! or the place we all check in pre loony bin ! :lol:
> 
> ...


I have been lurking a while and am in amazement and shock in equal measures about some of the stories on here, I truly hope I never find myself in these situations.

On a more light-hearted note, what have been some of the most "ridiculous" reasons given for wanting a divorce?


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## Headspin (May 13, 2012)

UsernameHere said:


> I have been lurking a while and am in amazement and shock in equal measures about some of the stories on here, I truly hope I never find myself in these situations.
> 
> On a more light-hearted note, what have been some of the most "ridiculous" reasons given for wanting a divorce?


Well Matts thread http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/128754-examples-cheaters-script-thread-resource.html is a good place to start and there are a few threads a page or two back from the main page in similar vein which are hilarious


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

As crazy as this place is, it is a pretty good representation of things that are happening everywhere. This site simply gives all the peeps that are going through this sh!t a place to get advice, support, and simply vent.
I might still have a good friend around if he had access to this site when he found out his wife was cheating.

She had convinced him to move another state, where he had no friends, family, or support, so that she could have more sex with the OM. When he found out, he was isolated and there did not seem to be any support for him. He talked to me over the phone about it once, but that was before cell phones, and then I heard he killed himself.

I am still tearing up talking about it. He was the most gentle dad to his daughter. If he had access to a resource like CWI, I think things might have been different.
I think we live in a pretty sh!tty world with some pretty sh!tty people, but at least this is one place that calls a spade a spade, and offers help!


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## Chris989 (Jul 3, 2012)

I look back at my first few threads and, reading them dispassionately, I might have thought *I* was a troll sometimes. 

When 'it' happens the BS truly goes through the looking glass and life often becomes insane in a very real way.

Some of the situations I have been in- but for the intense, searing and continued pain - would be quite funny in an over the top, bizarre, way.


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## SaltInWound (Jan 2, 2013)

UsernameHere said:


> On a more light-hearted note, what have been some of the most "ridiculous" reasons given for wanting a divorce?


My husband of 22 years told me "There doesn't have to be a reason".


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Infidelity can read like a work of fiction, but even the best of authors couldn't dream up some of heartbreak and betrayal that goes on IRL.


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## Burned (Jul 13, 2013)

Headspin said:


> Isn't this place incredible - just unbelievable
> 
> 
> I mean most of it you could not make up could you - it must be true :scratchhead:
> ...


I know when I was directly in the middle of my mess, It was my reality, I didn't know what "normal" was. After 3 months I look back and read my post and think "man what the hell was I doing and why was I doing it for so long?"

Love can make you do strange things and worse is not realizing you're doing it.


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## bartendersfriend (Oct 14, 2013)

Cosmos said:


> Infidelity can read like a work of fiction, but even the best of authors couldn't dream up some of heartbreak and betrayal that goes on IRL.


I agree. I have been lurking here for just over a month and have not yet summoned the strength to post my own coping experience yet. One of my first thoughts, after DDay, was thinking that an author couldn't have written this story.


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

Stranger and more painful than fiction.


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

bartendersfriend said:


> I agree. I have been lurking here for just over a month and have not yet summoned the strength to post my own coping experience yet. One of my first thoughts, after DDay, was thinking that an author couldn't have written this story.


I urge you to post. I recently did and it was rewarding in several ways.


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## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

Yes, I thought this place was crazy, full of weirdos...ish.....sad people, not sad in the literal sense, however, it was the most level headed infidelity site I found, and I went through I think 2 or 3 before I came here. Regardless, I thought this place was still full of the bitter and twisted....saddo's. 

It has its moments of crazy, but they are few and far between. 

At first I felt like the people here were just lonely online obsessives (much less so than the other sites though, hence I stayed, and the longer the person had been here and the bigger the number of posts, the sadder they were) even so, this was the best site by far. 

It took about 6 months for me to realise the full reality of cheating, the behaviour, with much research on manipulative behaviour....much! 

This site had been a god send in my life ...a lifeline. A reaffirmation of me that I have never had, and a clarity on people's behaviour I have never had. And this has had a massive impact in all areas of my life...not just my cheating man. The manipulation of other people in my life has been addressed....this hasn't necessarily made my life better, but it has informed me and made me feel more secure in my thoughts and actions. 

The security in my thoughts and actions has been invaluable in my relationship/s, and has been the only thing I have. Which is an inability to be whitewashed and manipulated to others ends. 

That can only be a good thing....in the long run!


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## bartendersfriend (Oct 14, 2013)

Philat said:


> I urge you to post. I recently did and it was rewarding in several ways.


I am sure I will post in the near future. In the meantime, I have been finding threads that are the most similar to my situation and reading the feedback. I have learned so much from this site and the people here.


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## barbados (Aug 30, 2012)

I've had so much infidelity in my family growing up that nothing shocks me anymore. 4 older sisters, all divorced from first husbands, and infidelity involved in each case.


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## Wazza (Jul 23, 2012)

I came here with wife's affair 22 years in the past. At the time I dealt with it all alone, but I really have found it helpful to realise how normal what happened to me was.

Crazy? Sure in parts, but I did one or two crazy things in the immediate aftermath of the affair. Can understand it in others.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

ConanHub said:


> As crazy as this place is, it is a pretty good representation of things that are happening everywhere. This site simply gives all the peeps that are going through this sh!t a place to get advice, support, and simply vent.
> I might still have a good friend around if he had access to this site when he found out his wife was cheating.
> 
> She had convinced him to move another state, where he had no friends, family, or support, so that she could have more sex with the OM. When he found out, he was isolated and there did not seem to be any support for him. He talked to me over the phone about it once, but that was before cell phones, and then I heard he killed himself.
> ...


Can't click like for that.

What became of the children and WW? Did she go to the funeral?


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## Headspin (May 13, 2012)

Burned said:


> .....
> Love can make you do strange things and worse is not realizing you're doing it.


I s'pose really this place highlights the phenomenal power of love and all it's sundry spin offs - good and bad

Love has an extraordinary ability beyond no other emotion to pull people into places they would never believe they could go


........gulp


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

UsernameHere said:


> I have been lurking a while and am in amazement and shock in equal measures about some of the stories on here, I truly hope I never find myself in these situations.
> 
> On a more light-hearted note, what have been some of the most "ridiculous" reasons given for wanting a divorce?


Saw one on a TV show, once. I thought the presenter was going to deck the woman! Apparently she was thinking of divorcing her husband as she did not like his orgasm face. 

I almost typed something else then, but then realised it would be rude!


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## Headspin (May 13, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> Saw one on a TV show, once. I thought the presenter was going to deck the woman! Apparently she was thinking of divorcing her husband as she did not like his orgasm face.
> 
> I almost typed something else then, but then realised it would be rude!


Down boy!


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Headspin said:


> Down boy!


:smthumbup:


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

RDMU is real. Bob is real.
Shamwow is real
Both were called trolls.


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## jen53 (Apr 26, 2013)

some of the things I read here make me realise my situation isn't that utterly mad. I used to think I was living through a nightmare and everyone else had great marriages, till I started reading forums :S


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

jen53 said:


> some of the things I read here make me realise my situation isn't that utterly mad. I used to think I was living through a nightmare and everyone else had great marriages, till I started reading forums :S


The 007 stories of RDMU, BFF and Shamwow.
RTBPs wife looks like a complete beginning to end set up.
Best friends boinking mens wives right outside their windows...


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## jen53 (Apr 26, 2013)

some of the stories I agree do read like a work of fiction, but I skip those and look for threads that I can empathise with, instinctively you seem to pick up genuine pain - I found making my story coherent was really difficult.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

LongWalk said:


> Can't click like for that.
> 
> What became of the children and WW? Did she go to the funeral?


I was destroyed at the time and could not think straight. Some guys I worked with started bad mouthing him saying he was a coward and I beat the hell out of them, there were five of them, after that no one talked any crap about him, at least not around me. I have a fighting background and none of these guys did. I am rambling. I am actually crying writing this. I live in Washington and he had moved to California

It was hard to get info about what happened later and I was afraid of what I would do if I saw her or her posom. I am still really screwed up over it and it was 16 years ago. I can't help but hope she felt the worst pain imaginable! I do hope his daughter is OK. I might have to check and see what I can find out now
I also need to get this sh!t worked out in my head. My hands are shaking talking about it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Headspin (May 13, 2012)

jen53 said:


> some of the stories I agree do read like a work of fiction, but I skip those and look for threads that I can empathise with, instinctively you seem to pick up genuine pain - I found making my story coherent was really difficult.


There was a belter a few months back with the woman using a models photo as her avatar and her cheating husband leaving her just the two dogs - who were called - Romulus and Remus 

:rofl:


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## Headspin (May 13, 2012)

Seriously though I so regret never finding this place 7 years ago. Could have done me a real favour


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## Headspin (May 13, 2012)

ConanHub said:


> As crazy as this place is, it is a pretty good representation of things that are happening everywhere. This site simply gives all the peeps that are going through this sh!t a place to get advice, support, and simply vent.
> I might still have a good friend around if he had access to this site when he found out his wife was cheating.
> 
> She had convinced him to move another state, where he had no friends, family, or support, so that she could have more sex with the OM. When he found out, he was isolated and there did not seem to be any support for him. He talked to me over the phone about it once, but that was before cell phones, and then I heard he killed himself.
> ...


That is hardcore. Sheesh

Did she end up with OM ?


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Ive taken two calls from BHs on the edge of a mental breakdown. It seems even guy talk brings them back from the edge.

I think simply knowing they are not alone is JUST enough to keep them sane.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

weightlifter said:


> Ive taken two calls from BHs on the edge of a mental breakdown. It seems even guy talk brings them back from the edge.
> 
> I think simply knowing they are not alone is JUST enough to keep them sane.


Yes. Totally agree. Being able to talk about this sh!t helps peeps work through it. It still hurts, but maybe somebody doesn't check out early when they can get a lot of support here.

What is RDMU thread?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

ConanHub said:


> Yes. Totally agree. Being able to talk about this sh!t helps peeps work through it. It still hurts, but maybe somebody doesn't check out early when they can get a lot of support here.
> 
> What is RDMU thread?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Private section
Poster RDMU
Read RDMU thread 1 post 1
Then Read RDMU thread 2 post 1.


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## davecarter (Aug 15, 2013)

This place is really the sole reason I am in a much better place than I was from January-July/August this year.

Although my situation wasn't strictly, 100% 'infidelity' (well, wife wanted separation and then hooked up with OM a few days later...so go figure ), all the posters on here like Weightlifter, Longwalk, Lost Viking, Shaggy, TruthSeeker, Chaparral, and _many _other others, gave me heaps of help by telling like it is and giving me help and options.
Like I've said before, it's made me look at myself, better myself and understand why people have extra-marital affirs, how marriages work, and how to keep them going (or, in my case, guide them to an amicable closure).

So, yeah, it's a great Forum.


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## FourtyPlus (Dec 18, 2011)

Infidelity was in my life for as long as I can remember. I grew up with it and I'm having a hard time coming up with more than 5 people in my life that haven't been down the cheating road. Sometimes it's hard for me to believe in the good in people. Sometimes I just wanna give up and say Oh well, cheating is normal, it's no big deal - BECAUSE EVERYONE DOES IT! It's flipping everywhere. It's discouraging and depressing. It's like living in Bizarro-World: I know right from wrong - everyone does "wrong" and everyone else is okay with it.

I have recently learned of two acquaintances, both married to other people and now in the process of leaving their spouses and family so they can start over together. Everyone's cheering them on, congratulating them, wishing them happiness. I can't join the celebration because I believe how they went about having their happiness is wrong. As a result there are plenty of people calling me a hater, un-supportive, negative. It doesn't make sense to me. It's bizarre.


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## Aerith (May 17, 2013)

TAM is a great place - and life saving guide for BSs. 

However, the extreme here is assumption that infidelity is the main problem in marriage. IMO, it is not.

Infidelity is not the only reason people divorce. And not all couple divorce after affairs. From my observation, if the relationship in marriage is good (ok, I understand how it sounds), there is a big chance for recovery.

If spouses cannot spend 15 minutes with each other without picking up a fight - the don't need an affair to kill the marriage - the marriage is doomed.


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