# Husband is having joint account with his parents



## anonymous12345 (Dec 5, 2011)

We are recently married few months ago . We have been dating each other from some years prior to our marriage . I have always been a bit cautious about money and he has never been so since we know each other . We both are working and doing good as of now . We never spoke about what we earn and where we have our savings accounts etc., cos we never felt a need to ask those . But I got to know recently that he is having a joint account with his parents which was opened when he was a minor and he has been using that to put all his savings ever since he started working . It just made me highly insecure to know this that his finances are in a joint account with his parents which is so restrictive and I spoke to him about that which he took personal and gave me reasons that there is nothing to worry about it or feel insecure and that he doesnot want to go through the hassles of creating a new account when he already has one . He fails to understand that he is no more a bachelor and is married and our life should now take a priority in his life . He also doesnot understand that he has been working from long and he should have the ownership of his account . I feel delaying this realization is also not good .

I do not understand how to approach this issue but I am concerned since I have seen his parents dependant on his money and even mine even though they are well off .
I also got to know that they have used his savings to a large extent for different purposes. 

We divide our expenses more or less equally but I am really concerned about this in future.

I am not against giving money to parents when they are in need but this certainly is annoying to me since I never had any such accounts with my parents and have always taken control of my finances.

Most important , I do not want to hurt him or offend him in any way .

Am i correct to be concerned about this ? If yes , please help me how to go about correcting this


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

There is no right or wrong answer to your situation. This is something you need to sort out with your husband. 

There are some that think that his money is his and your money is yours and he is free to do with his money whatever he wants, as long as he is contributing his share to household expenses.

I believe that once you are married, all money is for the marriage. All our money goes into a joint account and all expenses and savings comes from that account. Doesn't matter who puts what in. If one of our parents needed help, it would be a discussion between my wife and I. The money would come out of our joint account.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

What state do you live in. States of different laws about community property and income.

In a community property state income from a job is community income. That means that your income from jobs belongs to both of you. I he is putting his savings into an account with his parents name on it, then it can be looked at as him giving money that partially belongs to you to his parents. Not cool at all.

You would not have claim to any of the money he had saved before you married him. But if say his parents used a lot of the money, it could be argued that the spent the money he had from before the marriage and his half of the community money.

It's a mess. My ex-husband had a lot of money in his mother's name.. .he moved money that I earned into accounts with his and her name on them. He has half owner of her house and paid a lot of the payments with money I earned and his job income which was community income. 

You have rights in this. 

If he wants to put money in an account with his parents tell him he has 3 choices.

1) he can put savings in the account in his prarent's name, put you want a post-nuptual agreement stating that the money you put in a savings account belongs only to you. Why not? He's transferring money out of the marital community.

2) he can keep his account with his parents. But the two of you need to open a joint savings/checking account and all income both of you make goes into those accounts. a percentage goes into joint savings. You pay all the bills from that account. Then you both get some agreed upon amount as money you can spend freely.

3) the marriage is over.. he's ripping you off if things stay as they are.

I would also want to check his beneficiaries on any retirement, and life insuance, 401K, etc to make sure you are the beneficiary and not his parents.


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## iva123 (Dec 16, 2011)

Hi,

Thanks a lot,

"YES" it is a bit difficult in this situation. We are all now free and also adult. The money which we are earning , we have the 100% right to use this money in our own way. 

So, better you need to talk with your husband to solve this family problem. Else the problem will increase day by day. Because in near future your family will large.

So, you have to serious regarding this issue.

Thanks for sharing!!!


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