# Turning Down Oral Sex



## Gaming Your Wife

I Am a guy,Would like to hear why so many of us men hear of other men that thier wife does not like oral sex performed on them.I my case wife just wants a slam-Bam and go about your day.You can't get settel in for a good session. At times I offer oral only and she turns it down. Bad thing is I think I am pretty good at it.What do you think?


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## RandomDude

"Snuffle" "snuffle"... something off down below!


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## Jellybeans

I have heard of these kind of women but don't understand them.

Some people just aren't into it. 

To me, if a guy won't do it, it's a dealbreaker.  And yes, people should reciprocate.


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## Runs like Dog

Religious objections? Nicki Henrickson in "Big Love" was disgusted by it. I doubt they made her character up out of nothing.


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## Catherine602

Many women think their privates are ugly. I think mine are and I am not sure why. In my case it may be a combination of religion and the shame heaped on women who are sexual in this society. 

I remember in Catholic grade school nun's lecturing for hrs on how sinful we girls were. And how we were sinful if we wore clothes or acted in any way to draw the attention of the boys. The thing about patent leather shoes is true. We were made to feel ugly and evil and at fault for any inappropriate sexual advances by the boys. 

Did your wife have a strict religious upbringing? has she been shamed or repressed in any way.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sofie

Gaming Your Wife said:


> I Am a guy,Would like to hear why so many of us men hear of other men that thier wife does not like oral sex performed on them.I my case wife just wants a slam-Bam and go about your day.You can't get settel in for a good session. At times I offer oral only and she turns it down. Bad thing is I think I am pretty good at it.What do you think?


Doesn't have to be a bad thing.
I'm not a big fan of getting oral, doesn't do much for me; but don't mind at all giving it.
It's all about personal preferences I think.
Slam-Bam is of course not so good; try something else
.


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## lisa3girls

Gaming Your Wife said:


> I Am a guy,Would like to hear why so many of us men hear of other men that thier wife does not like oral sex performed on them.I my case wife just wants a slam-Bam and go about your day.You can't get settel in for a good session. At times I offer oral only and she turns it down. Bad thing is I think I am pretty good at it.What do you think?


I 'sometimes' say no, it isn't that I don't LIKE it, but at times, there is no way in that setting, moment or amount of time alloted am I going to get to orgasm...that is just frustrating, my no usually means not right now, as opposed to not ever.


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## Enchantment

Gaming Your Wife said:


> I Am a guy,Would like to hear why so many of us men hear of other men that thier wife does not like oral sex performed on them.I my case wife just wants a slam-Bam and go about your day.You can't get settel in for a good session. At times I offer oral only and she turns it down. Bad thing is I think I am pretty good at it.What do you think?


A few reasons could be in play (some of them in the same woman even):

* Maybe it just doesn't feel that great to her. During certain times of the month it either feels too sensitive or not sensitive enough. Maybe it has never felt anything more than ticklish or slightly irritating - everybody is different in how it feels and what they like.

* Maybe she does feel uncomfortable during a particular time because of her upbringing or yeah, maybe she didn't get to take a shower. 

* If your relationship has been rocky, she may not feel like letting you do something so intimate to her.

You should respect what your wife is saying about her preferences. Doing otherwise may cause her to develop even more of an aversion toward the act and maybe toward you too.


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## Runs like Dog

I could look at a woman's vagina all day. Not a huge ran of a shaved bare look though.


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## RandomDude

^ I think of the missus like this:

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_6sYA7Iz1x...ider+-+front+on+-+eyes,+fangs,+legs+-+eml.jpg

Fangs represent her erm... 'yes'. The first two legs, represents well, her TWO LEGS 

*suckle suckle suckle*
O.O

Sorry I CAN'T take this thread seriously lol


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## Jellybeans

^ What in the hell? LOL


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## RandomDude

I am a great example of what happens when an innocent bad boy meets a seemingly hot good girl, only to have her rock his world around to the point he ends up waking up one morning going "Oh sh-t I'm married!" And the seemingly "good girl" turned out to be a nymphomaniac who the bad boy himself can't even handle. BE A MAN everyone says too! How cruel! 

Sorry I'm just taking the piss outta my life lol

EDIT: Awww crap! I posted an extra post from the magic number! Bah!


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## Jellybeans

What is this magic # you keep talking about???


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## SimplyAmorous

WhiteRabbit said:


> although i loved the praise about my nether regions he would give me whenever he did it. it felt great but i always had a mental block preventing me from truly enjoying it.


I , too , used to have a mental blockage, he used to always want to do this & my mind would go into overdrive, the whole time I am laying there thinking "How in god's name can he possibly enjoy this?", I used to push his head away. 

Thinking back on this now, these are some of my fondest memories where he showed a surge of heavy desire . For me, I was just too religiously repressed to believe this was "normal" sexuality, I looked at it "dirty" therefore it messed with my mind AND my enjoyment of it . I also remember back then, I was highly sensitive -almost too much to endure. 

Now that my mind is OPEN & willingly receptive to all things sexual, I have come out of this 100%, and can enjoy it -alot , infact I would be UPSET if he didn't want to do it now , even though I can rarely cum from it. 

I did a complete turn around in this area.


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## Kricket

Some women feel that if they receive it, then they must return the favor. So they just may not want it because they are not in the mood to return it.


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## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore

RandomDude said:


> ^ I think of the missus like this:
> 
> http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_6sYA7Iz1xg...legs+-+eml.jpg
> 
> Fangs represent her erm... 'yes'. The first two legs, represents well, her TWO LEGS
> 
> *suckle suckle suckle*
> O.O
> 
> Sorry I CAN'T take this thread seriously lol






Jellybeans said:


> ^ What in the hell? LOL


Curiosity got the best of me and of course, I clicked on the link. Not at all what I had prepared myself for. :rofl:


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## e.p.

In my wifes' case I think it's a maturity thing (although she's 30) ... because whenever I try to go down on her, or fondle her beyond glancing touches, I hear her say its "yucky" "dirty" "icky" "stinky" "smelly" "gross" ... very juvenile nomenclature to describe her vagina.


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## Enchantment

e.p. said:


> In my wifes' case I think it's a maturity thing (although she's 30) ... because whenever I try to go down on her, or fondle her beyond glancing touches, I hear her say its "yucky" "dirty" "icky" "stinky" "smelly" "gross" ... very juvenile nomenclature to describe her vagina.


Hmm... I wonder if it's really immaturity, or just a reflection of her upbringing and the inhibitions she has developed over time.

It seems like we see this kind of bad attitude about their private parts in women quite a bit, and I don't really have an answer as to how someone overcomes this. Does sexual counseling work? Does aversion therapy work? Obviously, some people overcame their aversions over time - like SimplyAmorous - due to a huge hormonal surge or just simply becoming more confident in themselves over time. What are the suggestions for helping with this?

I know that when I was first married 23 years ago, I was a little bit like this - more so because I simply was not used to someone ELSE being so much in what had been MY own personal private space. Over time, though, with patience and persistence on my husband's part, I was able to overcome most of these inhibitions. I can't say I think what's down there is exactly 'pretty' - but, hey, sometimes when you live with something day in and day out in most often a purely utilitarian way, it doesn't have as much of a novel appeal. I guess the important part is that my H does think it's pretty.


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## SimplyAmorous

Enchantment said:


> It seems like we see this kind of bad attitude about their private parts in women quite a bit, and I don't really have an answer as to how someone overcomes this. Does sexual counseling work? Does aversion therapy work? Obviously, some people overcame their aversions over time - like SimplyAmorous - due to a huge hormonal surge or just simply becoming more confident in themselves over time. What are the suggestions for helping with this?


My biggest answer - reading SECULAR books about SEX written by reputable sex therapists, what a breathe of fresh uninhibited air ! I accually read a few that were chrisitan in my younger marraige - never did a thing for me, I had too much of that good girl vs bad girl thing going on in my mind, and it remained on the pages of such books, it clipped my freedom from exploring somehow, inspiration did not come from those pages. 

A little radical of coarse -but if a husband starves his wife for sex for a time and she gets ahold of that "passionate Lusty " feeling he struggles with every day -where she is dying for it herself --let this go on for a time -then come together, tease her -have a good hearty talk about one's needs, desires, ORAL, intimacy, making love etc --so she can experience this for herself , almost a little painful . Most women never have to wait, the men are jumping!!! So they miss experiencing this wanting lusty passion. Dare give her oral on one of these nights, I bet she will never forget it for as long as she lives. 

Too bad their ain't a pill for this --to jumpstart the brain.


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## greenpearl

When my husband first asked to go down on me, I had the same concern, I was shy! ( ha ha ha, shy? me? Yes! )

But my husband kept on telling me that my pu$$y looks pretty, and it tastes delicious, so slowly slowly I let down my guard. And now I do think my pu$$y looks pretty and it tastes delicious! All because of my husband's encouragement and compliment. 

Because he likes to admire my pu$$y, I keep it very good looking for him. I get rid of all the unnecessary pubic hair, just keep a pretty triangle shape there, I shave it everyday, now if I don't shave, I feel uncomfortable, I don't like looking at the stubble. 

Since my husband likes to go down on me, I keep it very clean too. I wash it thoroughly, inside and outside. 

Oral has become our foreplay, sometimes I want to get horny right away, I just point down there and my husband goes there right away..............................................


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## Therealbrighteyes

Why would any woman think her nether regions are ugly? Ever taken a mirror "down there" and peeked? It's a heck of a lot prettier than moving testicles, which in my opinion looks like the head of an angry octopus.
Yes, women have been taught everything under the sun about how disgusting their parts are. Special washes and what not don't help in making women feel better. I say to hell with it all. Take a shower and go at it.
If you really want some extra "zing" to feel pretty down there, get a wax and "vagdazzled". Pretty little crystals being placed in the shape of a heart or in the case of the Chargers playoff season, a lightening bolt. 
Just have fun ladies!!


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## sinnister

Doesn't matter how clean, trim or shiny I am, my wife says she thinks it's "disgusting". It's my favorite thing too. Oh well. Just another thing I'm starting to resent....


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## SimplyAmorous

Well I am more turned on by a man's parts than a woman's (I do not feel I would at all enjoy giving a woman oral- oh my no! ) and he is totally turned on by a woman's parts and has no desire to even look at a man's. 

I would think this is pretty normal thinking if you are a healthy heterosexual.


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## Enchantment

sinnister said:


> Doesn't matter how clean, trim or shiny I am, my wife says she thinks it's "disgusting". It's my favorite thing too. Oh well. Just another thing I'm starting to resent....


Why would you resent her for something that she doesn't enjoy? Why wouldn't you instead turn your energies in to finding things that she DOES enjoy and pursue those wholeheartedly?

I guess I have a hard time understanding people getting hung up because their partner doesn't like something. We all have things we like and dislike. Don't obsess about the dislikes - let them go and instead obsess over the likes. Maybe if other avenues of pleasure are pursued that are agreeable, she would eventually come around. She won't ever come around if she feels somehow pressured to.


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## SimplyAmorous

Enchantment said:


> Why would you resent her for something that she doesn't enjoy? Why wouldn't you instead turn your energies in to finding things that she DOES enjoy and pursue those wholeheartedly?
> 
> I guess I have a hard time understanding people getting hung up because their partner doesn't like something. We all have things we like and dislike. Don't obsess about the dislikes - let them go and instead obsess over the likes. Maybe if other avenues of pleasure are pursued that are agreeable, she would eventually come around. She won't ever come around if she feels somehow pressured to.


See, I DO understand this, I think All HIGH DRIVES understand this to some degree. It is simply a huge struggle for us. I have been on both sides here, so I think I can speak . 

With the way I feel these days -if my husband wouldn't allow me to give him Bj's, I think I would have withdrawl, it is something we just WANT TO DO ! I literally would fight with him if I couldn't do this. And My husband, back in the day, he WANTED to give me oral , even when I was not crazy about it and he knew it , so I let him. Thinking back, these were some of my most hot memories, me trying to push him away and him NOT letting me do it, probably the most aggressiveness I ever got out of him sexually. So even my passive husband might have "resented" this . 

We can not understand how they dont want it !!


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## Jellybeans

sinnister said:


> Doesn't matter how clean, trim or shiny I am, my wife says she thinks it's "disgusting". It's my favorite thing too. Oh well. Just another thing I'm starting to resent....


See to me, this isn't even a HIGH DRIVE issue. I personally would NOT enjoy being in a relationshp with someone who did not like to go down on me. And vice versa. It's one of my favorite things. So I get where Sinnister feels resentful. I guess though if you already knew that when you got with her, then you guys should have discussed it and/or now you can try doing other things she likes.


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## Enchantment

SimplyAmorous said:


> We can not understand how they dont want it !!


It's such a double-edged sword. He resents because he can't give her oral, she resents because he keeps trying. That's why my suggestion is to not sweat it. Find things that are mutually enjoyable to both and go at them with gusto. Accept each other's idiosyncracies and work with what you've got! In time, who knows - things may change.

Here's an example of working with what you got. Way back when like 20 years ago, I had decided that I really only liked boring old missionary position. It just worked really well for me. My H was getting a little bored with it and introduced a little game into it. The game was the position was the same, but we could each introduce some 'novelty' to it. Let's see - there was the obvious food related items - honey, chocolate, whipped cream, there were feathers, ice cubes, scene changes, light changes, costume changes, etc. etc. etc. I think the funnest was probably not allowing arms to be used. We took what can be a single boring position and added novelty to it to spice it up. That's why I say don't sweat it - find something you both enjoy and go from there. Oh, and yeah, we have expanded our repertoire greatly since then.


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## bab123

I wish my husband was more enthusiastic about giving me oral. Its just fine when I give it to him, but when it come to recipricating, he does it reluctantly, and then he is lousy at it. I have given up on getting great sex, both oral and other. I have tried to show/tell him what I like. Bought educational cd's, educational web sites. But did that help? No friggin way. 
We have sex seldom these days. And when we do, its because Im really really horny. I don't bother to initiate because I know what Im going to get. He won't admit that he might have a problem. Low T or E.D. Last couple of times he couldn't get hard enough or stay hard for penetration.
Im not going to have sex with him "just because". Its just frustrating.


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## Runs like Dog

Did you tell him how to do it? What's that joke? How does a French girl hold her liquor? By his ears. Grab his head and pilot him. Men do not respond to instructional videos and books. All that crap was invented by women because that's how they learn. Men learn by touch, taste, the sounds you make, the way your body moves in pleasure. And a few simple monosyllabic instructions like 'more', 'hard', 'yes', 'lick', 'THAT!' and so on. 

Don't know about your man but many men are turned on by her getting turned on. It's positive feedback. We're like puppies that way. And don't be too shy to literally force to move the way you want.


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## bab123

uhh, what part of I tried to show/tell him what I like didn't you get? :scratchhead:


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## michzz

The feeling of deprivation is not something easily to let go of when a partner doesn't want to do anything beyond a basic missionary position, and don't touch that while you're at it.

Just letting it go? being told something is disgusting that you know is not is kind of offensive.

Especially if there were a time when they didn't feel that way.


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## bab123

What it comes down to is that ALL of my body is beautiful, not just certain parts. And if he doesn't accept all parts of me as beautiful then that is hurtful to our sex life.


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## SimplyAmorous

bab123 said:


> What it comes down to is that ALL of my body is beautiful, not just certain parts. And if he doesn't accept all parts of me as beautiful then that is hurtful to our sex life.


Yes, even when I was uncomfortable with oral sex, because of my "good girl" hang ups and this "dirtiness" we speak of, just knowing & feeling my husband DIDN'T feel that way, wanting to do that, somehow, it was beautiful -even though my mind was not engaging there enough to really "let go" in the fullness that was intended. 

There is just something unspeakable about your lover wanting *ALL* of you. 

Also, I can also understand anyone's hurt or even a little resentment to be such a wanting GIVER in this gift of pleasure and be rejected time & time again.


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## Laurae1967

I would ask your wife why she doesn't like it and really listen to what she says. Is she inhibited in other ways?

When I was in college, I was not comfortable getting oral. I couldn't relax and worried about how I tasted, smelled, looked (and I have always been very clean). I think many women feel this way.

As I got older and more experienced, I realized that 99% of guys LOVE p*ssy - the smell, the taste, the look. And my husband really loves to give oral and gets really turned on giving it to me. So I'm a big fan now.

The reality is that men's and women's privates have a smell - not a bad odor (when you are clean), but a distinct smell. I kind of like it - earthy and sexy. 

Yup, guys, your balls smell...even when you wash them. It's not a bad smell, just a smell - a ball smell!


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