# Can Men Fall "In love" with the same woman?



## HoldinOnTight (Jun 3, 2010)

My husband said that he cares very deeply and loves me a lot but he is not "in love" with me. He said himself that our marriage was/is not at all bad. I never knew there was anything wrong in our marriage until I learned of an emotional affair. I have been nothing less then the most supportive, caring, loving wife I know. I sent him to work every day with a kiss and note telling him how wonderful he is and how thankful I was to have him. I gave sex often. I worked full time and carried our 2nd child, while he was unemployed and didn't complain once. I moved our family from CO to MD to support his career. Away from everything and everyone that I knew. I packed up the house because he had to start right away. In my eyes it is like "What's not to love?" I am really confused to say the least.


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## 2Daughters (May 13, 2010)

Holdinontight..I posted a similar question on another site except I was asking as a husband if anyone has rekindled the passion and desire they once had for a spouse..I feel guilty for my 2 girls and wife that I lost that and I am currently trying to relight it..she separated from me 2 months ago after a 17yr marriage..I know that loving someone is not the same as loving someone in a marriage..in other words..you must have 2 critical elements for a marriage to grow..PASSION+DESIRE= a full and loving marriage..to me anyway..I love my wife for the person she is and mother..but that passion and desire is just not there..she felt it and separated hoping we both can find it again..if it is even possible..I want more than anything for that to happen because if even 1 spouse doesn't have those elements..it's only a matter of time before 1 spouse says 'that's it..I'm not going to go through this forever'.


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## HoldinOnTight (Jun 3, 2010)

Thanks 2Daughters. I am staying positive and doing what ever I can (as I never knew my H was not feeling the same as me).


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## Goodkatt (Feb 18, 2008)

HoldinOnTight: It is difficult to keep passion in a relationship if either party has become passive. A strong relationship will eventually grow from the passionate stage to a much richer, deeper and rewarding relationship if both people stay committed to the marriage and treat each other with respect. Relationships are like a rollercoaster with good days and bad days; good months and bad months; and good years and bad years. In order to get through the down times or the trying times, both people must be respectful not only to their spouse but also to the marriage and the family.


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## Goodkatt (Feb 18, 2008)

HoldinOnTight: It is difficult to keep passion in a relationship if either party has become passive. A strong relationship will eventually grow from the passionate stage to a much richer, deeper and rewarding relationship if both people stay committed to the marriage and treat each other with respect. Relationships are like a rollercoaster with good days and bad days; good months and bad months; and good years and bad years. In order to get through the down times or the trying times, both people must be respectful not only to their spouse but also to the marriage. Good luck and take care.


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## Quads123 (May 27, 2010)

Goodkatt said:


> HoldinOnTight: It is difficult to keep passion in a relationship if either party has become passive. A strong relationship will eventually grow from the passionate stage to a much richer, deeper and rewarding relationship if both people stay committed to the marriage and treat each other with respect. Relationships are like a rollercoaster with good days and bad days; good months and bad months; and good years and bad years. In order to get through the down times or the trying times, both people must be respectful not only to their spouse but also to the marriage and the family.


Great post... It has to be both parties working toward the same goal. If one is and the other isnt you are always going to run into issues. That said there are still going to be times where things just dont go right. The best thing to do in those cases is sit and talk about it. Get it out in the open. That will build on your marriage.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

HoldinOnTight said:


> I never knew there was anything wrong in our marriage until I learned of an emotional affair.


First question, is the EA still on going? If so, step one will be to end all contact.

To answer your query in the title, yes a man can fall back in love with his wife. I did. We also survived an EA.


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## 2Daughters (May 13, 2010)

Goodkatt..if one partner becomes passive I believe that attitude can be adjusted after a bone shaking event like a sudden separation..although it might be too late to save a current relationship it will teach (if they want) the passive partner to maybe recognize the behavior sooner in the next go-around...and if the initiator allows after time the passive partner back in with the 'new attitude' maybe there is hope for them as a couple.

Amplexor...I glad to see someone has rekindle the love!!...I love my wife but am desperately trying to reignite my desire and passion for her to be the husband she needs and deserves..did you get those back also?..did you separate for time away (my situation)?


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