# what would you do?



## Laura1992 (Mar 30, 2020)

hi guys

So my wife and I separated at the end of January 2020, since then we've had our ups and downs trying to sort finances out and so on.
She also insisted at one point she no longer wanted contact and i was completely deverstated as I honestly thought she might get her **** together and we could sort our marriage out however I agreed to the no contact and we didn't speak for about 3 weeks then suddenly she decides she can't do no contact because she misses me however she still carries on being secretive and sly. 
We've met up 3 times since we've been split and each time ended up sleeping together, honestly it feels amazing, that sparks still there however once we've gone our separate ways again she doesn't speak for a couple of days. 
What do you thinks going on inside her mind?
Shes also insisted she doesn't want to get a divorce because she doesn't want to rush "it"
I'm soo confused about the whole situation...


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Sounds like she had something on the side but it fell through


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Laura1992 said:


> hi guys
> 
> So my wife and I separated at the end of January 2020, since then we've had our ups and downs trying to sort finances out and so on.
> She also insisted at one point she no longer wanted contact and i was completely deverstated as I honestly thought she might get her **** together and we could sort our marriage out however I agreed to the no contact and we didn't speak for about 3 weeks then suddenly she decides she can't do no contact because she misses me however she still carries on being secretive and sly.
> ...


Have you met her boyfriend yet?


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

She found out the guy she was sleeping with didn’t want her and then came back and screwed you so she could keep you on a leash in case nothing else worked out. You are what’s called an “orbiter”. She will keep you sniffing her trail while she is out hunting (for men)

This is the part where you respond “but she wouldn’t do something like that” and then everyone else just rolls their eyes.


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## Laura1992 (Mar 30, 2020)

Mr.Married said:


> She found out the guy she was sleeping with didn’t want her and then came back and screwed you so she could keep you on a leash in case nothing else worked out. You are what’s called an “orbiter”. She will keep you sniffing her trail while she is out hunting (for men)
> 
> This is the part where you respond “but she wouldn’t do something like that” and then everyone else just rolls their eyes.


No I agree with what your saying, check out the discussion I put on a couple of month ago about her being obsessed with her friend.
I just don't understand why she's soo set on not getting a divorce yet if she doesn't want anything to change


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## Hopeful Cynic (Apr 27, 2014)

Laura1992 said:


> No I agree with what your saying, check out the discussion I put on a couple of month ago about her being obsessed with her friend.
> I just don't understand why she's soo set on not getting a divorce yet if she doesn't want anything to change


It's to keep you on the hook as plan B in case her first choice doesn't work out. No matter how many first choices she wants to explore. You're her safety net while she goes out exploring.


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## FamilyMan216 (Apr 1, 2020)

Laura1992 said:


> hi guys
> 
> So my wife and I separated at the end of January 2020, since then we've had our ups and downs trying to sort finances out and so on.
> She also insisted at one point she no longer wanted contact and i was completely deverstated as I honestly thought she might get her **** together and we could sort our marriage out however I agreed to the no contact and we didn't speak for about 3 weeks then suddenly she decides she can't do no contact because she misses me however she still carries on being secretive and sly.
> ...


It's sickening that people play with marriage like this with no regard to the feelings of others, especially if children are involved...sickening


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## Laura1992 (Mar 30, 2020)

FamilyMan216 said:


> It's sickening that people play with marriage like this with no regard to the feelings of others, especially if children are involved...sickening


6 months on I'm still distraught that she could choose a "friend" over our marriage. I got married for life but it didn't even last 2 years! I'm at the stage now where I'm angry and in one sense I want to tell her stick any sort of contact with me up her backside but I also don't want to make that decision and regret it. I just don't know what to do...


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## Tdbo (Sep 8, 2019)

Laura1992 said:


> 6 months on I'm still distraught that she could choose a "friend" over our marriage. I got married for life but it didn't even last 2 years! I'm at the stage now where I'm angry and in one sense I want to tell her stick any sort of contact with me up her backside but I also don't want to make that decision and regret it. I just don't know what to do...


Find yourself the biggest SOB of a divorce attorney you can find and file.
Go on the offensive and put her on the defensive.
Invest in you. Work out, new haircut, some new clothes.
If you have friends, spend more time with them. If you have none, go out and meet some.
Just distance yourself. If there is anything to save at all in her mind,she will notice and respond.
You know what you want. If you truly want her, make her work her way back and prove to you that you are no longer "Plan B."
However, you need to seriously consider leaving her in the rear view mirror.


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## Phalkon (Jul 4, 2020)

Lostinthought61 said:


> Sounds like she had something on the side but it fell through


Yeah she had some side action that dropped her


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## FamilyMan216 (Apr 1, 2020)

Laura1992 said:


> 6 months on I'm still distraught that she could choose a "friend" over our marriage. I got married for life but it didn't even last 2 years! I'm at the stage now where I'm angry and in one sense I want to tell her stick any sort of contact with me up her backside but I also don't want to make that decision and regret it. I just don't know what to do...


I understand completely as I'm in the same position. My issues with my wife hit a brick wall in January just like you, as she was and continues to choose are friends over our 2 daughters and I. I'm here to chat anytime you need since I can totally relate. This forum is about helping each other


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