# Tested myself - Divorce forms



## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

I decided to start to fill out all of the forms I could if I were to file for a divorce. I wanted to see what the emotional impact would be upon me as the forms made me think about the real impact a divorce would have on me.

I felt nothing negative or positive. I downloaded the forms, filled in the names, assets, debt, proposed alimony, all of it. Still nothing.

What does that mean, if anything?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Idk what it means, what do you think it means?

Do you want a divorce after all? Have you talked to your wife about this?


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Dude don`t leave those things lying around for her to find.
She`d never understand their purpose.

I`m beginning to think perhaps you don`t want this marriage regardless of any infidelity on your part.

It`s starting to sound as if you`re searching for justification to end it.

I really hope you can work it out.


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## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

I am leaning more towards divorce as I am so far unable to re-spark my passion for my wife. So I decided to test my emotions today to see if something said "Hey! What the hell are you doing?" or "You're doing what needs to be done".

I have not talked to my wife about this.

There are no printed forms, only electronic (at work). 

I'm trying to figure out my feelings. So this was meant to get me thinking more.

I already try the other side by being more affectionate with my wife. It doesn't feel natural or real. It's like I'm faking it. 

So here I am with no feelings from either role. Nothing!


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

Here is my take. I think you "checked out" of your marriage a while ago. You got involved with someone else and I think you hoped your wife would basically say screw it and file for divorce. Unfortunately, she didn't. She wants to save your marriage. I think the best thing would be to just end it so that she can move on with her life and find someone that will love her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Yearning (Dec 8, 2011)

HerToo, I just wanted to say I understand all too well what you must be going through. I've been through much of what you have and am still at the exact same point.
We have to be "all in" heart & soul in order to turn things around. But how can we be if our heart & head are conflicted or unsure? I'm sure the Fake It Till You Make It concept often works, but it's not universal- everyone's situation is so different. It's heartbreaking to see my wife trying & waiting, while I'm unable to give her the reassurances she needs so badly.


I'm a long time lurker (for years), first time contributor. Your posts convinced me to finally sign up. I may post my story on a new thread, but just wanted to give a little support & understanding here. Things WILL get better.


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## NotSoSureYet (Nov 10, 2011)

I had the same thing - absolutely no hurt or remorse when I filled the paperwork out. I am trying to make this work though. We spend more time together than we have been. I still don't have the emotional connection that I need though. I'm going to try and get that back. I have to at least try to get it back. I just don't want to be one of those people that tries for years and never gets it back.


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## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

I think I did "check out" some time ago. The question is, can I check back in or not? That's what I need to find out.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to get the passion back. I also have to try. But like you, NotSoSureYet, I refuse to be in limbo for a long time.


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

HerToo said:


> I think I did "check out" some time ago. The question is, can I check back in or not? That's what I need to find out.
> 
> Meanwhile, I'm trying to get the passion back. I also have to try. But like you, NotSoSureYet, I refuse to be in limbo for a long time.


You aren't the only one in limbo. Your poor W is and she doesn't even know.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

That's true. She needs to know that she has options as well, rather than just watching me and hoping for the best.


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