# When to get off the fear of commitment merry-go-round



## firebelly1 (Jul 9, 2013)

So H is "confused" again about what he wants. I think it's his fear of commitment dance. I'm weary of it.

We have reconciled officially three times in the course of the 14 years we have known each other, and all three times he confessed his undying love to me. Now for a third time, it turns out his love is not so undying. 

I'm an optimist in general. Each time I've thought "finally, he realizes what a good thing he's got here." I believe people can change and that's what has kept me continuing to believe him when he says he wants to be with me, but at some point, do you just say "You could tell me you are ready to commit tomorrow and it could really be the truth this time, but my self-esteem just can't take the risk anymore." I feel like I'm hitting that wall.


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## Cshopeful (Jan 5, 2014)

I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. Commitment is a tricky thing. Some people can do it and some people really cannot. My fiancé ran away when things started to get difficult and she eventually stopped talking to me. She had been in three other serous relationships - all of which never panned out. The saddest part is that I believed her when she told me she loved me but it was not genuine. There is so much more to my story, but I really do wish the best for you!! Let me know if I can help.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

> We have reconciled officially three times in the course of the 14 years we have known each other


No! You have officially let someone abuse your feelings for 14 years and renewed your self-abuse contract 3 times within that time period.

That "undying love" went out the window the first time he became "confused"


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## thompkevin (Jul 17, 2013)

You should've hit that wall long time ago. But better late than never.


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## firebelly1 (Jul 9, 2013)

synthetic said:


> No! You have officially let someone abuse your feelings for 14 years and renewed your self-abuse contract 3 times within that time period.
> 
> That "undying love" went out the window the first time he became "confused"


That's what everyone around me has said in various ways. Last night he broke it off with me again and I told him I was done. And I am. Not sure why it has taken me 14 years to finally have enough, but it has.


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