# Lonely, frightened and upset



## Zapp Rowsdower (Feb 20, 2012)

I was on this site a few months ago, when my wife and I first separated. We reconciled, and things were going well for a while, but it's fallen apart again. Yesterday I told her, definitively, that I don't want this marriage to continue.

I thought this would lift a weight off my shoulders, but if anything, it's gotten worse, and this afternoon at the office I completely broke down. Worst of all if the total, crushing GUILT I feel about it. I think I've put up with enough and done enough to make it work, but we have two little boys, and now I'm second-guessing everything. I fear I'm going to be sucked back into a marriage that just wasn't working.

Worst of all, I moved to my wife's hometown when we got married - she said she'd never move to my home, which should have been a warning - and now I'm up here with all my family living 1,500km away, and seemingly no one I can confide in.

Can someone please tell me this will get better with time? I just wish there was an easy answer, but I know there isn't one.

(And, yes, we tried counselling. She didn't want to continue.)


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Yes it gets better. Dude, this all happened yesterday.

You need to let yourself grieve over the end of the marriage. Focus on you. Of course you feel guilt, you are human. You care about what happens to your children and that is wonderful. My STBXH moved to another state because, in his words, "there's nothing to keep me here." Right, nothing except a marriage of 26 years and two beautiful children! I sooooo did the right thing for me and for our children and some times at night-I still feel guilty for no longer having the Ozzie and Harriett fairytale life. You will survive.
Think about making an appointment with your doctor to discuss meds for depression/anxiety. Discussing this with the MD will help.


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## Zapp Rowsdower (Feb 20, 2012)

I already take antidepressants, but I agree that I need someone professional to talk to. I've contacted the counselor my wife and I saw - even if she won't attend I'd like to go back to seeing her.


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## Matt1720 (May 7, 2012)

Good idea, she might even remember her/some of your sessions and therefore be able to provide even more insight.


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## muriel12 (Jul 10, 2012)

Zapp - How long were you separated? I think that things will not get better right after separation. I believe one of you have to start giving in and honest with your feeling while doing so. It may be a good idea also to take slow when getting back together.


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