# Doesn't know what to say?



## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

I told him that he could tell me anything and to be honest.

I just wanted to know what was in his head...I wanted answers to how his love for me died.



I asked him if he just wanted me to now talk to him anymore unless it was about the baby.
He told me he honestly didn't know what to say to me.

I said anything is better than nothing at all...

He said saying sorry really doesn't carry much meaning so why even bother.

I said it does, but only if he meant it.



Then he didnt say anything.

Then I asked him if he regretted marrying me. (Honestly that was just something to see if I could get any kind of response)


He said, no I don't but quit.

I said, quit what?


No answer for a long time.

I then told him it was me...he could talk to me about anything.

He then asked me what I wanted to talk about.

I said anything...I wanted to know what he was thinking and feeling.

He said he had to get ready for work and he wanted me to quit asking questions.

I just told him that I was sorry and I just wanted to know things...Im trying to understand all of this...I feel like if it was up to him, he would just divorce me and never speak. And if we didnt have the baby, he would never see me ever again.

All he said was "Well I have to get ready for work".








:scratchhead: Am I beating a dead horse?


I don't know, he says he's pretty sure we are done but he doesn't give me any straight answers or he doesn't answer me all together.


He was never so cold...


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## Matt1720 (May 7, 2012)

Yes, and its true at this point, his apologies carry no meaning without the actions to back them up.


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

I just don't know what I should do now...his words make sense but also don't make sense.

His actions are non existent.

I just don't get it.


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## Santa (May 31, 2012)

I know how you feel. My wife always refused to talk about anything or try to resolve or make better. I think the more I ask, the worse it got.. Maybe not in your case but that was my experience. 

To this day I still have no clue what she was thinking or is thinking. Its like I wasnt ever part of the plan in the back of her mind. 

Again as I guy and from my own experience, my opinion is you asked. He didnt answer or talk. Go 180 and stop asking and she if that works perhaps... it sucks I know..


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

I know but I am due with our baby any day...and it sucks that my best friend isn't around and won't even talk to me.


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

I wonder where my breaking point is?


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## BronteVillette (Jun 16, 2012)

I'm not sure if there is any making sense of this. It just plain sucks. It took my STBXH a year to finally give me _some_ answers. I'm glad I got something out of him finally, but really it only created more questions and as he now "wants and needs to move forward" I know I won't get them. 

I understand how you feel about him turning cold. STBXH and I were best friends, too, used to share everything (or so I thought), and now it's like a curtain has been dropped between us- no, a brick wall. It's a huge loss and I feel for you. Perhaps your husband knows that he's being a major *sshole and can't deal with the shame and guilt. It's easier for some to just avoid, but he won't be able to do it forever.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Was he ever any good at discussing his feelings? I'm not talking about just talking, I mean verbalizing his feelings. 

And BronteVillette, I know exactly what you mean. My STBXH seems to think dropping of the face of the planet is better than speaking to me about the pain our family is in. Consequently, his children are having a hard time understanding why Dad doesn't apparently care. He might care, in some sense of the term, but not in any meaningful way and not in any way that his own children can see.


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

NO, letm e just say he is one of the worst communicators I have ever met. He was never good at verbalizing feelings.




I asked him what he was so afraid of? That he could tell me anything and to just be honest? I wanted to help him and I loved him.

He wont talk.


Then I just asked him if I was being stupid and if I should just take back my maiden name and give the baby MY last name.


HE read it and there was no answer. 

He really doesnt care about this baby.

I even told him to not bother calling me(shouldnt be much of a problem because he never does) and I wont call him. I even told him it was okay if he didnt want to come to the birth or be in the birth certificate.

He read my text( I know he did) and didn't reply.




He really is going to be a deadbeat.


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## Lifescript (Mar 12, 2012)

Could he be depressed or something? 

:/


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

Lifescript said:


> Could he be depressed or something?
> 
> :/


I asked him this the night he left. He told me he wasn't. 

I atleast thought it was a type of situational depression.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

I have read many threads about closure, and wanting answers, and I guess I just don't get it, especially if reconcilliation is off the table for even one of those involved. I really haven't asked my STBXW what happened since the initial seperation. All she really gave me was the basic "If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you." For me, that's all I need to know. Why does there seem to be an assumed right to know what happened, and assumed right to "closure"?

I know that if she kept hounding me for answers and didn't back off, it would really irritate me, and AI, you know I love ya, have a lot of respect for you, know you are a strong woman and are going to make it through all of this, but just reading this post made me feel irritated


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

Im 9 months pregnant. I feel I have a damn right to answers to why someone who promised me forever and planned baby with me is suddenly MIA.


I need to know if he is going to be there or not. He is acting like a damn fool and a baby and I push him because I know he is better.

I dont care if I am pissing him off or not. Hes not afraid to piss me off and Im not afraid to piss him off, especially when a kick in the ass is needed.



All he says is pretty sure and I dont know. That isnt good enough for me our my daughter.


I am keeping my part of my vows and if that means being "irritating and pushy" after 2 months of NOTHING. Then that is what I am going to do.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Just because I can't understand your need for answers doesn't mean that I am dismissing them ok? I think he's being a damn fool for acting like he is towards you as well. I know it's easier said than done and all that, but I don't think he's going to give you what you feel you need.

I wish he would for your sake because this has got to be awful for you, and is just stressing you out even worse. It pisses me off that he can't see that. You don't need this. 

At this point, he has nothing to lose. He can be completely honest because his marriage is over.


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

Thats what I mean.

I told him to just be completely honest if he doesn't want to reconcile...he can tell me anything. I'll file irreconcilable differences and we can co parent.



But he wont answer to anything I say. HE wont say sorry, he says it wouldnt matter, he won't answer to anything about the baby, its just nothing.


He stuck his head in the sand and when he pulls it out, what he says doesnt make any sense.


I married someone amazing and he took him away. He isnt living up to his potential and this frustrates me.



Sorry if you took my response as being angry, I wasnt angry at YOU, I am angry at whatever the heck this mess is. lol.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

*hugs* I know you weren't angry at me. You are right, it is a mess, and I think it's only going to get messier. The problem here that I see, and I am saying this out of concern for YOU! I don't give a sh!t about him in this at all. You are so stressed out, and I can see how all of this is tearing you up inside, but you have got to stop letting him have this power over you! It is not good for you or your daughter, and coming up really soon, you are going to have even more stress, then throw in an even greater lack of sleep with the newborn. I am really worried for you.


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

I am worried too.


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## MarcyTen (Aug 8, 2012)

This man sounds like he has some pretty serious psychological problems actually! Go home to your mother!! Go home to your parents, or any relatives that you trust. It is not acceptible for him to abandon his wife and child... and leave you to give birth with no support. Please look out for your own welfare adn the welfare of this child. He needs to work out his issues, and you need to show him the door. A man, no matter how upset, does NOT ABANDON HIS CHILD! Please do not be foolish.


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## MarcyTen (Aug 8, 2012)

seriously, think of your safety first. This man is unreliable... even cruel! to a pregnant woman. You do not sound that offtrack or unreasonable that you deserve any of this sort of nonsense... except for the fact that you are so accepting of it. Please just gather your stuff and get out of there! If he really is a deadbeat, you can thank God if he signs over full custody of the child to you... otherwise, I fear you will have to send your child to see him and will have no control if you just divorce him and split custody. Go to family support now. Just go. Maybe things will come to light.. but you NEED support and he's not giving it, so get the HELL out of there!


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Thats the big problem here isn't it? Woulda, shoulda, coulda's that don't match reality? He should do a lot of things here, but the reality is, that he has shown no sign of doing any of it. We have to learn to cope with the situation as it is, rather than what we think, or expect it should be.

I don't understand how this man could have left you, abandonmentissues, I really don't, and I wish I could give you the answers he won't.


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

He probably feels guilty and doesnt want to talk because of that.

I cried after I sent him an angry message. I dont like to yell or be angry, especially with him. I love him.


I cant talk to him anymore. I hurt him too much.


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

No wonder he left . I am a huge *****.


I got mad and said things out of anger. You dont hurt another person no matter how bad you are hurting inside. 
Tit for tats...that's not love.


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## Dan Carruthers (Jul 14, 2012)

The Reason/s of splitting up..?


Cant it be found through a third reliable ,neutral person...?


further, it might be a freaky possibility that he might have got into some kind of superstitions owing to astrology,medium,tarot etc ,,and that too regard to marriage or you as a person..?


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

no I dont think thats it lol.





I just think he wasnt really in love with me when he married me...it was more lust than anything and when it started to get real and the baby we planned started to become real to him...he decided he didnt want me. I married for true love and he just wasnt.

Just threw me out like an old shoe.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

You aren't the one who is hurting him. He is hurting himself by tossing aside a clearly devoted wife and soon to be mother. You didn't cause that. He did. This is his choice, and his responsibility. NOT YOURS! Regardless of how he feels about you, look at how he is treating the birth of your daughter!


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

I know. And I must sever him from my heart.

It's just really hard...but for some reason...I go from being numb to being in agonizing pain. 

I dont know why I love him...I mean I could name some reasons but that was who I married...this guy isnt who I married.

I just have to get over it...I just wish that moment could be now.


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## Dan Carruthers (Jul 14, 2012)

u dont wish that moment to be now, do you..? 


henceforth, be of a great n good hope...and let this guy , whom dint marry be again the guy he was , whom you married..with betterment and truer love..


Now

Relax ! God Almighty is in Control !

...


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## MarcyTen (Aug 8, 2012)

Hey, stop blaming yourself for all his decisions and irresponsibility! HE CHOSE TO MARRY YOU, no matter HOW he felt at the time.. he's not a child. He made you pregnant and now is running? No, he was like this before you married him, but I'm sure you ignored some red flags, like many of us women do... but so what with all of that, you can take responsibility for choosing this guy as your husband and father of your child that is not worthy of either role as far as I can tell... Like I said, time to be tough, woman! GOOD MEN ARE HARD TO FIND< BUT EASY TO KEEP!!!! not so good men, are EASY TO FIND< BUT HARD TO KEEP! so stop blaming yourself for all of his failures and bad treatment of you. Responding out of anger while pregnant at a man that acts like this is pretty normal dear! Stop acting like a doormat, go home to your parents so you can have support...


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

He already told me to go to my parents house, and I did go. It was 2 am.


It's been 2 months since we have been separated.


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## MarcyTen (Aug 8, 2012)

Cut it out sweetie! This IS the man you married! [like it or not] You are not severing your heart. GO HOME TO YOUR PARENTS, eat ice cream, cry it out... but DO NOT TAKE ANY MORE CRAP FROM THIS CREEP! If he's a good man, he will show up and take responsibility, but if he is a creep, he will not take responsibility and you do not have a marriage anyway, because no one can have a marriage under those terms... You made a mistake is all, but you can pull yourself up and get back to your parents and you will get through this. Focus on the fact taht you are going to be a mother... You are mom now... forget about him. he's a man, he can take care of himself.. and he is SUPPOSED to be taking care of you and your child that he made with you... pray to God for his protection and for peace in your heart. You must make wise decisions. You must be strong now.


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## MarcyTen (Aug 8, 2012)

Oh, wow. OK. I'm so sorry. I know it must be painful, but he's not worth it to act this way. If you can get full custody. Go for it.


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## MarcyTen (Aug 8, 2012)

Hopefully your parents can help you and offer sound advice. Maybe seeking a counselor would be good as well.


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

I am going to therapy. I am trying.


I just married for love and he just was't really in it like he said he was.


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## Dan Carruthers (Jul 14, 2012)

*Some comments are toxic since they give obverse effect than the good intended.


since

destroying her cherished love n life, despite the circumstances , is uncanny ...and would be detrimental to her mind, heart n body and the carriage.


he can come back contrite, thats what I strongly think!*


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

I would love nothing more than to believe that he will come back.

I truly believe in soulmates, I really felt this way. After 4 and half years of being with him, I love him more than I did when we got married. Even with the pain he caused me, Id never want him to endure what I have been. I would never want him to feel this pain.


But...I feel like I am holding out hope for something that isnt going to happen...he just isn't there anymore.

I love him but...you know...what else can I do that I haven't?


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## MarcyTen (Aug 8, 2012)

Good point Dan. I did not mean to be 'toxic' to you, I was meaning to be a strong voice of support for you when I see that you are hurting because a man is being irresponsible and immature and not rising to the occasion. Sometimes reality kinda sucks, and the truth hurts... however, truth is the way to freedom and the light! there is much growth in painful situations, and God is always there to help you through the storm. Hopefully this man will grow up and come around... but it might take a long time is all... and many times, misplaced hope is simply delayed disappointment. It would be wise to put your love and efforts into your child and the people that are there for you! Cling to what is good... Cling to love... really, you can't know what the end of the story is... but you can make the best out of the good in your life today, and pray for more of that, and turn your thoughts to the blessings God has given you. I bet there are many! Our focus can get so small sometimes, especially when it comes to matters of the heart.


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

That really spoke to me.


Thank you for those words. They make sense and I appreciate you and Dan for that.



Im trying not to become bitter and lose all faith and belief in love...but I guess I am trying not get burned more either.


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## Dan Carruthers (Jul 14, 2012)

abandonmentissues said:


> I would love nothing more than to believe that he will come back.
> 
> I truly believe in soulmates, I really felt this way. After 4 and half years of being with him, I love him more than I did when we got married. Even with the pain he caused me, Id never want him to endure what I have been. I would never want him to feel this pain.
> 
> ...


---The Soul mates, The Twin Soul...as it is said..even through many lives etc..

Well, your love is precious that is from your side , and the value of such a love is not being understood by this guy..I see selflessness in you and that's rare among a major number of women these days...

and I do strongly believe that he is going to come back...but there will be events that will precede it...it can be too soon, or a little later..

....and I would suggest you to be mustered n cheered up n be taking care, for all things can work for better. 

be at solace.


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## Dan Carruthers (Jul 14, 2012)

MarcyTen said:


> Good point Dan. I did not mean to be 'toxic' to you, I was meaning to be a strong voice of support for you when I see that you are hurting because a man is being irresponsible and immature and not rising to the occasion. Sometimes reality kinda sucks, and the truth hurts... however, truth is the way to freedom and the light! there is much growth in painful situations, and God is always there to help you through the storm. Hopefully this man will grow up and come around... but it might take a long time is all... and many times, misplaced hope is simply delayed disappointment. It would be wise to put your love and efforts into your child and the people that are there for you! Cling to what is good... Cling to love... really, you can't know what the end of the story is... but you can make the best out of the good in your life today, and pray for more of that, and turn your thoughts to the blessings God has given you. I bet there are many! Our focus can get so small sometimes, especially when it comes to matters of the heart.



---hmm , yet there is pessimism in your advice to the OP regard to her Aspirations, which I will strongly disagree...IMO, being Realistic, and Rational etc needs to be in a Comprehensive Realm...it takes on Faith,Hope and Probability too, which seems un attended in your suggestions...

Love is enduring with the above factors and it would be rewarding in any of the ways that God Himself will work out..!!

God Speed


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

Well, after todays heated convo. I kind of told him some things which Im not proud of and my frustration with the situation got the best of me. (Basically telling him to grow up) I cried after I sent him things. I never want to hurt him. I sent him an email apologizing(which I feel thats all I do now) and just telling him to respond to this email yes or no, I just told him to tell me if he wanted me to call him when I went into labor. If he responded yes, Id call when the time came. If no, then just type me no and I wont.
If he didnt respond, Id assume it was a no and I wouldnt call.


He read it 20 minutes ago. I have no response.

I guess he isn't going to be there. 

I hope my anger didn't scare him away.


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## 06Daddio08 (Jul 26, 2012)

abandonmentissues said:


> Well, after todays heated convo. I kind of told him some things which Im not proud of and my frustration with the situation got the best of me. (Basically telling him to grow up) I cried after I sent him things. I never want to hurt him. I sent him an email apologizing(which I feel thats all I do now) and just telling him to respond to this email yes or no, I just told him to tell me if he wanted me to call him when I went into labor. If he responded yes, Id call when the time came. If no, then just type me no and I wont.
> If he didnt respond, Id assume it was a no and I wouldnt call.
> 
> 
> ...


Why are you apologizing?

What has happened to the things we talked about?


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

Because I feel bad for being angry and letting that emotion rule me and say things that aren't very nice.


I took like 50 steps backwards I guess.

I just cant believe he didn't respond...you would think he would type yes immediately and leave it at that...it's his daughter...I dont care how he feels about me now.


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## 06Daddio08 (Jul 26, 2012)

abandonmentissues said:


> Because I feel bad for being angry and letting that emotion rule me and say things that aren't very nice.
> 
> 
> I took like 50 steps backwards I guess.
> ...


As a parent of 2 children (6 and 4).

I will tell you this.

As long as he is not physically or morally abusive to the child, there is nothing you can do in regards to him as a parent.

You have to be the best parent you can be for your daughter.

She will need at least one responsible parent and figure in her life.


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

I know. and I know I cant make him be a father.

He has said that he wanted to be there for the baby.

But his lack of response to the email worries me. I never thought he wouldn't be there for HER. You know?


But I know, and I cant worry about it anymore. I got my answer.


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## 06Daddio08 (Jul 26, 2012)

abandonmentissues said:


> *I know. and I know I cant make him be a father.*
> 
> He has said that he wanted to be there for the baby.
> 
> ...


Do you see how polar opposite you just were in the matter of 3 sentences?


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

I'm insane.


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## 06Daddio08 (Jul 26, 2012)

abandonmentissues said:


> I'm insane.


No, you're learning.

You are doing a great job.

Just never stop learning.


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

I know, I just feel like I am running in circles and not really moving forward...like there is the illusion that I make progress but then I do something dumb or let my emotions get in the way and I am back to square 1.


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

Well he called and answered. Said he wanted to be there for the BABY. So that means not for me, but for the child. 

At least he isn't bailing on her too.


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## solitudeseeker (May 1, 2011)

Lord, I want to wring this guy's neck. What a douche. 

Don't beat yourself up for being all over the place with your emotions. You're about to give birth, for God's sake, and your husband is acting like a A-1 arsehole. I'd be more than insane.

Who is there to support you during the birth, and after? Family? Friends?


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

Family. I am blessed for that.


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

Figured out his dad went to he hospital late late last night.

He is very sick and isn't doing well.

It is taking a lot out of me to not call and try to comfort my stbxh....I am trying not to be irritating.


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## Lifescript (Mar 12, 2012)

In this case I think if his dad is in critical condition or something then you should probably txt him at least sending your best wishes. But do it only if it's something you want to do.


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

I did.

I told him that I was sorry and I just told him that if he needed to talk or anything in general to let me know.
I live closer to his father now, and I plan on visiting him. We were all close...so I really want to help in any way I can and check up on him.

Our relationship or lack of relationship just makes it hard.


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

My worst fear. His dad died today. I am so sad.



I was with his mother all day after it happened, as she wasn't in a good state of mind...and I wanted to help her clean house while she made calls to everyone.

He came by and didn't talk to me or really look at me. It ripped me apart inside.

After an hour of finishing up the cleaning he took me home.

A 40 minute car ride. 15 minutes of silence. 15 minutes of making little jokes.

10 minutes of me saying sorry about his dad. He just said it was okay, in his usual emotionless tone.



When he dropped me off, I gave him a hug and and a peck on the cheek (Oh my god, I cant believe I did it ) and I think he didn't like it.

I said thanks for taking me home, and he said no problem.



Then he drove away.





I cried. and now I am back to square 1 with my emotions.



I am such a pathetic loser. I know he doesn't want me, so why do I want him so much?
I wish he would come back, but I think he is really not into me at all.


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

Am I ****ing dumb or what?


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## sadwithouthim (Dec 8, 2011)

abandonmentissues said:


> Am I ****ing dumb or what?


Absolutely Not!!! You are hurting and pregnant and want your husband to be there for you. That is normal. He is the one who is ****ing dumb. He is missing out on a wonderful part of life and a good women. It is hard; I know too well.

I'm sorry about your FIL. He is in my prayers. You are a good person to help out his mom. If they are/were good to you, remember it is him doing this not them. 

Hang in there. Try and take care of yourself.


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## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

abandonmentissues said:


> Im 9 months pregnant. I feel I have a damn right to answers to why someone who promised me forever and planned baby with me is suddenly MIA.
> 
> 
> I need to know if he is going to be there or not. He is acting like a damn fool and a baby and I push him because I know he is better.
> ...




I feel awful that you are going through this when you are due for your first baby. and he wanted this baby? How cruel does one have to be to not want to take part in such a beautiful time. 

I read your thread before this one. I think your H needs a wake up call. If he is already MIA from your marriage and from the baby, and if you have gotten used to his absence physically/spiritually/emotionally for far, I would say run with that and end this now. Give him over to himself. He sounds emotionless and careless. You do not need this right now.

I have had two babies naturally at home, and from my experience, any stress coming from an H during this time in your life can make childbearing and the birth extremely stressful. I was so stressed my second birth that I cried hysterically when I went into labour because all throughout the pregnancy my H was cheating on me and was very distant. 

Let you H go. Enjoy these last few days being pregnant (I know you're probably feeling like you just want it over with now) but, try to concentrate on resting, giving yourself some peace....go out and buy some cute things for the baby. You need some "You" time. When the baby is born, you will have no time for his games anymore. This baby needs your full attention and love. He does not seem to care about you or this baby's health by what I hear, so please let him go. If he has even an inkling of love for you, he will see it when he realizes that you are gone and do not have interest in being around him or talking to him. And if he truly does not love you, then why bother with him. Either way, try to relax these next few days and concentrate on what you need to do to get ready for the birth, and for your baby.


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

It just rips me apart that I am not there for him tonight...to hold him to listen to him.

But then I remember he doesnt want me to be there.



I want to be there for all of them, because his parents and brother treated me so well.


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

and yes somethingelse, we planned this little miracle.

I just dont know what to do.


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

abandonmentissues said:


> and yes somethingelse, we planned this little miracle.
> 
> I just dont know what to do.


Nothing - you do nothing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

golfergirl said:


> Nothing - you do nothing.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



and you move on


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

-_-


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

I hurt so bad right now.


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## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

what are your plans now from here on out?


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

Try to be the best mother I can be.


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

abandonmentissues said:


> Try to be the best mother I can be.


Plan 3 things today for you only. Whether do something for baby - something for you or something for future. Whether pick out next classes, buy painting for nursery and research a vacation to save for. Heck browse match.com and see if there are any cuties. Just get your mind on something else. The man you're missing is the man you wish he was.
You're searching for that magic phrase or action to bring him back to you and there isn't one.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## blissful (Nov 14, 2011)

He is a complete contradiction in terms- he says that he wants to be there for the BABY- then wouldn't that mean that he would try to not upset her mother while she's pregnant carrying her? 

This is why you feel like you're going crazy- not becos you're hormonal, not becos you love him & cant let go- becos he is contradicting himself & that's making you ride the crazy train.

You cant put any stock in the words that are coming out of his mouth right now. He probably doesnt mean one word of what he says right now cos he's so all-over-the-place in his own thought process.

ok, you need to be there for your MIL & BIL. You care for them & they're going thro a hard time. But they value & appreciate & WANT your support. You shouldn't feel bad/ guilty for not being there for your H. He doesnt value & appreciate & WANT your support.

I know this sounds blunt but he shouldn't be messing with your head like this, so you need to find a way to shut him out of your head first, and then your heart will follow. I'm sorry this must be insanely hard for you.


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

I'm due any day...my husband doesn't want me...and now I am helping my poor sweet mother in law plan a service for her husband.

The stress level is incredible.


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