# Needs some advice!



## shockedandblindsided (May 19, 2011)

Hey all. I am new to this site and to posting in general. I am so confused and shocked right now, i just need some help or advice if anyone can give any.

My husband and i have been married for almost 2 years next month, been together for 4. After we got married, my husband started contracting overseas in Kuwait and Afghanistan. I know he is always stressed and has a lot on his mind and i have tried to keep from bothering him. We've never really had huge arguments, just a few little ones. He wants to live in the country, i like a neighborhood. I want kids soon, hes not sure when... stuff that can be fixed. Well out of the blue he said he is unusre if he is happy being married at all. its such a shock because he actually planned a cruise for the both of us when he comes home on r and r in august. we were just talking about it last week and now all of a sudden this! he has always said i love you and miss you. so its not like i could see him drifting away or see this coming. im just so shocked by all of this. he went a few days without talking to me and it killed me! i finally got him to answer an email today but it wasnt very helpful. he cant give me any real answers, just that hes unsure and unhappy. but when he was home everything seemed great! we laughed and smiled the whole time. i just dont understand and i love him so much. i dont want to lose him. he has never said anything like this before. i dont know if hes just annoyed and stressed being gone. i just need some help and advice on how to get through each day until i get some answers, hopefully some good ones. im so hurt and confused right now. any advice would be great. thank you.


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

War and the miliatry and totally F a man up. Your story is repeated a HUGE number of times. 

A similar success story is here.
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/reconciliation-stories/25555-how-i-got-my-happily-ever-after.html

You can come back from this. Its a lot of work and GET IN MC NOW!!! Read books. Figure out the problems.

Sometimes one person has to carry the marriage for a time until it repairs. Its currently on you to honor your vows until he can find love again.

Its not easy. My MC story is in my profile. Best of luck. Stay strong.

If you are religiously inclined, find that again.

I think there is counseling through the VA. There are people on here who would know. This is fixable.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I've been over there twice and it's not always Disneyland. I think one problem with these wars that previous ones didn't have is that we have actually too much contact with home. The place can be depressing and it's easy to develop ugly thoughts when you're in an ugly place. Take his words with a grain of salt and realize that you aren't talking to your husband at his best. You're talking to a guy trying to stay sane in a pretty jacked up place. You have no idea what he's been dealing with and he probably can't tell you. The way he was at home is probably closer to his "real" self. Love him and hang tough. See what the forcast looks like after he's been home a few weeks.


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## shockedandblindsided (May 19, 2011)

Thank you both for replying to my message. My only concern is that he'll only be home for 2 weeks in Aug and then is back over until February. I know nothing can be fixed in 2 weeks and am hoping that maybe during those 2 weeks he can see how happy we were. Thank you for both success stories as well.


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