# What would you do?



## OhioGirl (Mar 30, 2011)

Some Background first:

My H has serious food issues. I would say it started getting really bad about 8 yrs. ago. He is overly precautious when it come to food.

I remember one night browning ground beef. And he got very angry that I did not switch to a clean spatula when the beef was all browned...I said we've been married for 12 yrs. and I haven't killed anyone yet." He said it was just luck.

He has also become somewhat of a vegetarian. So we use alot of the Morning Star Farms brand of veggie meat.

A few years ago for Thanksgiving he made me spread newspaper all over the counter when getting the turkey from the packaging into the pan. When I had thrown all the "leftovers" into the garbag he proceeded to bag my trashcan and throw the whole thing outside.

Needless to say, my husband is very difficult to cook for...

So anyway...

Saturday morning we went for breakfast...and I had been feeling like having potatoes. Since we went somewhere I could not get them, he said "well, we'll just make some with dinner." It seemed like a good idea to me.

About 6:00pm, everyone is getting hungry...so I said let's just order pizza. But he didn't feel like it, he said "I thought we were making potatoes." To which I said "what would you like with them?" He replied that he didn't know, just none of the cheap crap that I like to make. I asked what that meant, he said nothing like creamed beef or anything. Now, I love the stuff, but would never ask him to eat it, nor would i make it with fried potatoes.

So I said that to him. I said do you want steak, chicken, fish...what? He says forget it just make whatever you want... I don't want to get into this right now.

So I left for the store...while I am there he calls me. "Are you going to the store?" I answer I am already there. "Will you get soda?" I already have it in the cart. "So, what are you making for dinner?" I have steak, potatoes and veggies to roast. "You can't get something I'm can eat?" Well, you need to help me with this. I don't understand what you want. "Well, you're not helping either!" Did I not ask what he wanted???

So when I get home, I just make something for our youngest since the middle and oldest are gone.

"What are you going to eat?" he asks I am not hungry.

We argue, apparently he will not eat the meat you would get from a grocery store close to home. He wants me to go to a market for his meat. Come on...really?

This is only a taste of what I go thru with him and why I want to leave. 

Suggestions?


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

This is exactly what I was going through with my daughter (age 16yo). She would turn up her nose and EWWWWW! at anything I made. Now, I will not make two meals: one for everyone else and one for her. However if she would tell me what she's in the mood for or what she wants, I'd be happy to make it! So I would say "What do you want then?" and she would say "I don't know..." 

How in the world am I supposed to make her something if even SHE doesn't know what she wants? 

My solution was simple. She is 16yo and I told her I had enough of doing all the work and her turning her nose up, so if she wanted something else and didn't want to tell me WHAT she wanted, she was on her own. I gave her my grocery budget divided by four (there were four of us) per week, and that was her money to buy her own food that she would prepare. The only caviot was that it had to be meals and not "junk food" so she had to make a shopping list ahead of time and show me. 

I suggest you do something similar with your husband. Let him buy and cook for himself and do his own dishes. You cook for yourself and your children. That way he may well complain about having to shop and cook but you were willing to do that and he literally drove that willingness out of you and the consequence of his treatment is that now he has to do it himself. 

Soooo...you are not controlling him. He can choose to appreciate your effort, or he can do the work himself: which does he pick?


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