# My man hanging with a girl.....?



## JennyLynn22 (May 3, 2012)

So... My fiance and I have been togather for 4 and a half years. He introduced me to his friend (who happens to be a girl) about 6 months after we got togather. We have become good friends. Now she is the flirty type, and I mean really flirty. My fiance and I have been having relationship issues lately. So we have concluded that we need to work on some things individualy. We are still togather, we live togather and we have a 3 year old. Lately I have become uncomfortable with our friend hanging out at our house while I'm at work. I guess my question is..Is asking him now to not hang out with her while I'm not there unreasonable? I feel that if he loves me as much as he says he does he would respect my feelings and not hangout with her while I'm gone.


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## capacity83 (Feb 13, 2011)

it depends to be honest. If ur husband is the promiscuous type, then yes, tell him to stay away from her. However, in saying that, it is very possible that they're just good friends.. i dont know. If u feel uncomfortable, then tell him. Dont keep it in u and then resent.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

There is not a doubt in my mind he wants to sleep with her. If he hasn't already.


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## MrsOldNews (Feb 22, 2012)

My best friend is a male, known the guy 15 years and I never thought about him in that way. He's like a brother  and if his GF asked him to give me up he'd probably tell her to get over her insecurities. 

However I do not flirt with him because, he is my FRIEND not a love interest. Sounds like this chick needs to learn some boundaries or get out of the picture. Ever think to slip a voice activated recorder under the couch to see how inappropriate the conversation might get? Or it might just give you peace of mind instead.

Do you think he would be willing to discuss what appropriate behavior should be between friends and set some boundaries? Do you think he would be okay with it if you had a male friend flirting with you alone in your house while he's gone? I'm guessing he wouldn't but maybe if he put himself in your shoes he would better understand your feelings on the issue.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

MrsOldNews said:


> My best friend is a male, known the guy 15 years and I never thought about him in that way.


That's funny. I almost think that you don't know he wants to have sex with you.

Almost.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

MrsOldNews said:


> My best friend is a male, known the guy 15 years and I never thought about him in that way. He's like a brother


Like a brother who wants to have sex with you.


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## MrsOldNews (Feb 22, 2012)

Like a brother who is well aware he NEVER will lol.


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## MrsOldNews (Feb 22, 2012)

And that's all you picked up from that post ::shakes head ::


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

i dont think you are unreasonable in asking him to not hang out with her, whether she is flirty or not. i just dont think its a good idea.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

MrsOldNews said:


> And that's all you picked up from that post ::shakes head ::


I vehemently disagree with your decision, and I think your description is either naive or a dishonest attempt to rationalize it as ok. I could spend a while dissecting it, instead I chose to make light of one specific outrageous comment.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

I find it amazing that in this day and age of limitless communication that women STILL don't know that men DO NOT voluntarily hang out with women they don't want to screw. I feel like I'm giving up some kind of guy code here. Think about it: if you take the possibility of sex off of the table, why would anyone WANT to be friends with a woman? There's not much in common. They're fine people and upstanding citizens and all. But for non-sexual companionship? I've got my dog and my buds for that. 

It's the reverse of girl code where they all back each other up when they say that they like hanging out at meat markets in skimpy clothing while prying free drinks from men because they "like to dance". 

In both situations, it gets the partner to "back off" or be spun as a controlling freak.


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

MrK said:


> I find it amazing that in this day and age of limitless communication that women STILL don't know that men DO NOT voluntarily hang out with women they don't want to screw. I feel like I'm giving up some kind of guy code here. Think about it: if you take the possibility of sex off of the table, why would anyone WANT to be friends with a woman? There's not much in common. They're fine people and upstanding citizens and all. But for non-sexual companionship? I've got my dog and my buds for that.
> 
> It's the reverse of girl code where they all back each other up when they say that they like hanging out at meat markets in skimpy clothing while prying free drinks from men because they "like to dance".
> 
> In both situations, it gets the partner to "back off" or be spun as a controlling freak.


So you're answering for ALL men on the earth? You can actually do that? Amazing.


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## MrsOldNews (Feb 22, 2012)

COguy said:


> I vehemently disagree with your decision, and I think your description is either naive or a dishonest attempt to rationalize it as ok. I could spend a while dissecting it, instead I chose to make light of one specific outrageous comment.


Again read my whole post instead of the first sentence. I've had male friends all my life, I never rationilized her fiancée hanging out with his flirty bf just gave an example of my friendship with a male and went on to tell her ways to get through to her man that hanging out with a flirtatious chick alone= trouble. I'm a firm believer males and females can be friends as I have a lot of male friends in my group, and I've never slept with any of them. And all of them have bern respectful towards me Maybe if I repost my answer without the first sentence you won't have such a distorted view of it.


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## MrsOldNews (Feb 22, 2012)

Sounds like this chick needs to learn some boundaries or get out of the picture. Ever think to slip a voice activated recorder under the couch to see how inappropriate the conversation might get? Or it might just give you peace of mind instead.

Do you think he would be willing to discuss what appropriate behavior should be between friends and set some boundaries? Do you think he would be okay with it if you had a male friend flirting with you alone in your house while he's gone? I'm guessing he wouldn't but maybe if he put himself in your shoes he would better understand your feelings on the issue.


Now do you see any constructive advice
Or do you still wanna pick apart the first sentence I deleted???


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## MrsOldNews (Feb 22, 2012)

As far as men and women having not much in common that's bs. Me and my friends have lots in common  we go discing together, fishing, hiking, have similar interests in tv shows and music, I could go on much longer btw.

All my male friends are well aware that once you get put in the friend zone you will remain there. I've never slept with a friend or given Any indication that I would (that includes flirting). So why do they hang out with me then? Most of them have a SO too. Oh you men and your warped views. Just because some people can't handle being friends with the opposite sex doesn't mean ALL people can't. 

To the OP: I've said my peace. And I
Very sorry for taking over your thread. Ill be on my way out now.

To the two guys I've been discussing m/f friendships with, I realize I can't change your mind about the issue so I'll stop trying. We're all entitled to our own opinions, what works for some doesn't work for others. Try not having such a narrow view of things and you'd be surprised how different your perspective can be.

-I'm out


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

ScaredandUnsure said:


> So you're answering for ALL men on the earth? You can actually do that? Amazing.


No, we can't answer for ALL men on the earth. Just the straight ones.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

MrsOldNews said:


> I'm a firm believer males and females can be friends as I have a lot of male friends in my group, and I've never slept with any of them. And all of them have bern respectful towards me Maybe if I repost my answer without the first sentence you won't have such a distorted view of it.


They've been respectful towards you, that doesn't mean they don't want in your pants. It's not that guys and girls can't be friends, it's that maintaining that friendship while married is dangerous. To your admission your friend would choose you over his SO. That's because he wants to get in your pants. Have you ever asked him if he would want to take it to the next level? Or have sex with you if you had a chance? You may not think of him like that, but he thinks of you like that.

This pretty much sums it up.
Why Men and Women Cant be friends - YouTube


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

> if you take the possibility of sex off of the table, why would anyone WANT to be friends with a woman? There's not much in common. I've got my dog and my buds for that.


 You mean YOU have nothing in common with women. But, apparently, you have a lot in common with your dog! YOU only like 'guy stuff'...and what woman would like that?

I happen to love baseball and football (less crazy about basketball and ice hockey.) I love antique car shows. I like classic rock and the occasional live concert. I like canoeing, camping (in tents, not RVs with satellite tv), cooking over an open fire. I like reminiscing about old friends and old times with my guy friends I've known since college. They have wives and daughters and see women as more than just 'a piece of azz.'



> It's the reverse of girl code where they all back each other up when they say that they like hanging out at meat markets in skimpy clothing while prying free drinks from men because they "like to dance".


 Maybe if you got out of the "meat markets" and met some real WOMEN (instead of barely or not-even legal GIRLS) you'd find plenty of smart, fun WOMEN who grew up with brothers and like 'guy stuff' just fine.

I don't expect I'll change your mind. That's fine, couldn't care less. You're the kind of guy that if you tried to 'hit on' me...I'd probably hit you where it counts (just like my guy friends taught me.) :smthumbup:


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## sohereiam (Jan 19, 2012)

MrK said:


> I find it amazing that in this day and age of limitless communication that women STILL don't know that men DO NOT voluntarily hang out with women they don't want to screw. I feel like I'm giving up some kind of guy code here. Think about it: if you take the possibility of sex off of the table, why would anyone WANT to be friends with a woman? There's not much in common. They're fine people and upstanding citizens and all. But for non-sexual companionship? I've got my dog and my buds for that.
> 
> It's the reverse of girl code where they all back each other up when they say that they like hanging out at meat markets in skimpy clothing while prying free drinks from men because they "like to dance".
> 
> In both situations, it gets the partner to "back off" or be spun as a controlling freak.


So true what you say here. I wish you were there to tell this to my H when he was hanging out with a girl friend at 6 am on a Saturday after I just left for work. He got so angry and defensive with me for saying it was inappropriate.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

COguy said:


> No, we can't answer for ALL men on the earth. Just the straight ones.


Sweet, so I can speak for all straight women on Earth. Awesome.


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## sohereiam (Jan 19, 2012)

ScaredandUnsure said:


> Sweet, so I can speak for all straight women on Earth. Awesome.


No not for me. I enjoy doing the things you listed though...so very well maybe lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

sohereiam said:


> No not for me. I enjoy doing the things you listed though...so very well maybe lol
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You mean, you have your own voice?! Absurd! I thought I could be the voice for every straight woman on the planet. Dang, thanks for ruining my fantasy there, lady


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

> I enjoy doing the things you listed though


No, *I'm* 'SlowlyGettingWiser' and I'm the one with the list.

...and I don't pretend to speak for anybody but me!


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

JennyLynn22 said:


> So... My fiance and I have been togather for 4 and a half years. He introduced me to his friend (who happens to be a girl) about 6 months after we got togather. We have become good friends. Now she is the flirty type, and I mean really flirty. My fiance and I have been having relationship issues lately. So we have concluded that we need to work on some things individualy. We are still togather, we live togather and we have a 3 year old. *Lately I have become uncomfortable with our friend hanging out at our house while I'm at work.* I guess my question is..Is asking him now to not hang out with her while I'm not there unreasonable? I feel that if he loves me as much as he says he does he would respect my feelings and not hangout with her while I'm gone.


I would find that unacceptable. The term for this is Isolation. He is hanging out with another woman in isolation from you in private. 

At a minumum I find that inappropriate. If you object and he continues that would be unfaithful.

So his boundaries might be considered rather loose but the important boundary here is yours. If you are uncomfortable with this, tell him this is unacceptable. If he continues, then he is choosing the girl over you. very disrespectful.

I suggest that you do His Needs Her Needs together and do the boundary setting.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

MrK said:


> I find it amazing that in this day and age of limitless communication that women STILL don't know that men DO NOT voluntarily hang out with women they don't want to screw. I feel like I'm giving up some kind of guy code here. Think about it: if you take the possibility of sex off of the table, why would anyone WANT to be friends with a woman? There's not much in common. They're fine people and upstanding citizens and all. But for non-sexual companionship? I've got my dog and my buds for that.
> 
> It's the reverse of girl code where they all back each other up when they say that they like hanging out at meat markets in skimpy clothing while prying free drinks from men because they "like to dance".
> 
> In both situations, it gets the partner to "back off" or be spun as a controlling freak.


I am torn. I suppose some may actually believe this. I wonder though if it is just not trying to justify this because they really want to hang out with men because they enjoy it. They may even believe nothing will happen or if it does they can handle it. hard to say. It is at the least incredibly naive and for some disengenuous.

But again I am talking about close friends. Friends you would hang out with in private without your spouse. I see that as dating. No doubt for some dating other people and feeling that their boundary is actually having sex but bonding emotionally is ok are playing a risky game. Just the tip. They can pull back if it gets too close they think. Why risk it? Because it is fun. The brain chemicals are awesome.
This shows a lack of a healthy respect for EAs. EAs are about friends getting real close. Too close.

For others it is a choice they make on the continuum between monaogamy and having an open marraige. Life does exist in the gray areas but we generally deal with this by setting up firm boundaries and not just going by what feels good at the time. I have female friends. Do we hangout privately. NFW. Do I communicate with them often? No. We learn in life. I learned for sure this is not a game I should be playing.

Often but not always you see this with young couples who are making the transition from single life to married life. They want to merge the lifestyles. So if they are used to dating and hanging out with opposite sex friends they feel they can continue in marriage. They are playing it by ear.

Still others just enjoy the opposite sex and want to hangout with them. Where they find the time and how they can justify not investing in their own spouse I don't know. It is hard enough for me to find the time to give to my own wife let alone another woman.

But I get why many women like this. However the guys that know their wife is invested in personal time with another man and is ok with it is amazing. They should know better. Maybe it is because they are invested in someone else as well. So their relationship is open in this way.

Not sure why one cannot find friends of the same sex.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

LOL, emotional "just the tip." I love that.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

JennyLynn22 said:


> Lately I have become uncomfortable with our friend hanging out at our house while I'm at work.


There is absolutely NO reason why she should be at your house while you're not there. 

Poor boundaries, dear.

And any chick who is "flirty" with your man ain't your friend. 

KNOW that. 

A girlfriend who is a true friend will NOT flirt with your man. It's "girl code." A line one never crosses. Not if there is true friendship/respect there.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> There is absolutely NO reason why she should be at your house while you're not there.
> 
> Poor boundaries, dear.
> 
> ...


I am wondering, what situation does this woman have that she can afford to spend normal business hours at your place with him alone? Is she a student, an early morning DJ or what?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I wont go as far to say that a man will only hang with women purely because they want to sleep with her

that said, if he finds the woman attractive he will certainly fantasize about her on occasion and with poor boundaries like having her stay there without the fiance present is only going to create a potentially dangerous opportunity. While I am sure there are men out there who would never stray even in such situations, I will say that most people who venture into an affair never had that intention going in, so why risk it?


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

NextTimeAround said:


> I am wondering, what situation does this woman have that she can afford to spend normal business hours at your place with him alone? Is she a student, an early morning DJ or what?


Great point!!


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> I wont go as far to say that a man will only hang with women purely because they want to sleep with her
> 
> that said, if he finds the woman attractive he will certainly fantasize about her on occasion and with poor boundaries like having her stay there without the fiance present is only going to create a potentially dangerous opportunity. While I am sure there are men out there who would never stray even in such situations, I will say that most people who venture into an affair never had that intention going in, so why risk it?


This is so very well put.

:iagree:


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

MrK said:


> That's funny. I almost think that you don't know he wants to have sex with you.
> 
> Almost.





COguy said:


> Like a brother who wants to have sex with you.





MrsOldNews said:


> Like a brother who is well aware he NEVER will lol.





MrK said:


> I find it amazing that in this day and age of limitless communication that women STILL don't know that men DO NOT voluntarily hang out with women they don't want to screw. I feel like I'm giving up some kind of guy code here. Think about it: if you take the possibility of sex off of the table, why would anyone WANT to be friends with a woman? There's not much in common. They're fine people and upstanding citizens and all. But for non-sexual companionship? I've got my dog and my buds for that.


All of the above comments and the men "liking" eachothers' comments about these and the recent TAM threads about men and women being friends & that Youtube has really got me thinking about stuff lately. 

All of this has made me wonder if the guys friends I had from the past that I considered platonic really just wanted to get in my pants. I mean, I guess it's flattering on one level BUT that makes me wonder if they were not ever really my friends. It's kind of sad if that is the truth.

And during my marriage, these "guy friends" I had were not my "friends" anymore. I just didn't communicate with anyone of the opposite sex much once I got married.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

NextTimeAround said:


> I am wondering, what situation does this woman have that she can afford to spend normal business hours at your place with him alone? Is she a student, an early morning DJ or what?


Yeah, seriously. But the main point is, a woman who is truly a friend of the couple (or man) would NOT be spending time in the marital home w/o both of the spouses of there. No way. It's just something you DON'T do. 

Extremely poor boundaries and not a "friend."



Almostrecovered said:


> I wont go as far to say that a man will only hang with women purely because they want to sleep with her
> 
> that said, if he finds the woman attractive he will certainly fantasize about her on occasion


What do you mean on "occassion?" Elaborate, please.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

my advice is to sit fiance down and tell him since you are getting married soon it would be beneficial to the marriage to discuss boundaries.

Discuss transparency and not be secretive, sharing passwords and such. How you feel it is important to not put the other in an awkward situation like what you described with his friend because the appearance of impropriety is almost as damaging as real infidelity.

It is not that you are trying to separate him from his friends, but rather how now you are making each other the #1 priority in your lives.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> What do you mean on "occassion?" Elaborate, please.



I dunno, when I masturbate? (not that I have been doing that much lately)


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

:rofl:


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

wasnt trying to be funny, just honest


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

and dont claim you dont fantasize about men in your life when you masturbate


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> All of the above comments and the men "liking" eachothers' comments about these and the recent TAM threads about men and women being friends & that Youtube has really got me thinking about stuff lately.
> 
> All of this has made me wonder if the guys friends I had from the past *that I considered platonic really just wanted to get in my pants. I mean, I guess it's flattering on one level BUT that makes me wonder if they were not ever really my friends.* It's kind of sad if that is the truth.
> 
> And during my marriage, these "guy friends" I had were not my "friends" anymore. I just didn't communicate with anyone of the opposite sex much once I got married.


It is not a choice between the two. They were your friend. They also wanted in your pants if the right situation arose. They liked being around you for who you were as a person AND they were sexually attracted to you. These things are not mutally exclusive. They very likely did fantasize about you. How often no one will ever know. This is natural.
Before I was married I had true female friends. I was pretty much down with having sex with them if I got the green light. Some did and some did not.

I also had an emotional connection to them that was all about them being a woman.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

That's for expanding, Entropy. I feel like I am learning more about men these last posts on TAM than ever before.

But... it is kind of sad to thing that it couldn't be or wasn't ever a "true" friendship cause to me it seemed like those were "true" friendships. In my mind, they were. Now that's all marred after that Youtube post! LOL 



Almostrecovered said:


> I dunno, when I masturbate?


So ... does that mean all guy friends wank to female friends they find attractive (the single dudes)?

I am almost afraid to know the answer. 

I scared.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

I think this is a great point. Going back to my single days. Indeed fantasizing about women you know while maturbating I am thinking is very common. The thing is that this can create a kind of a mental loop. It becomes an affirmation. Meaning it tends to re-enforce the sexual feeling one might have with that female friend. 

No she is not having sex with him, but he is imagining it and getting off on it. Those thoughts crop up in his mind when he thinks about sex a billion times a day. I mean if you just spent quality time with this woman, who do you think he will be fantasizing about? It does not take much when the hormones are flowing strongly. Some seemingly innocent things can get his mind on this. Spending time at the pool or the beach with you is going to be in his mind. Most men will remember those outfits that may not be overtly sexual but just flat made you look good. The way a woman walks, jiggles and bounces all count. Yeah even that smile and that look in her eyes. She can still be a friend but all of this exists too. 

I suppose we will hear from some guys that don't have these feelings. Ok whatever. Not everyone is alike. Shades of gray. Bell curve. But I think guys fantasize about women. Why not women you are close to?

So yeah, do women not fantasize during masturbation? Is it only Brad Pitt? It is never a friend?


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> That's for expanding, Entropy. I feel like I am learning more about men these last posts on TAM than ever before.
> 
> But... it is kind of sad to thing that it couldn't be or wasn't ever a "true" friendship cause to me it seemed like those were "true" friendships. In my mind, they were. Now that's all marred after that Youtube post! LOL
> 
> ...


I think they were true friendships. Don't penalize a guy for being a guy. The dynamic is different than with the same sex. So what? They probably loved you very much. There were just facets to it. I think this is normal and healthy.

I mean many of us consider our spouse to be our best friend.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Interesting. Very insightful. It has opened up the eyeball in my brain to seeing things differently, a bigger view, if you will. 

And yes, I think some women do fantasize about celebrities. And some about men they know IRL. And some fantasize about both. It all depends on the individual woman.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> So ... does that mean all guy friends wank to female friends they find attractive (the single dudes)?
> 
> I am almost afraid to know the answer.
> 
> I scared.


even the married ones do I assume.

and they're probably picturing you as this slvtty woman who cant get enough of them. Perhaps sometimes they also add another female friend into the fantasy and you two are not only into the man but each other. Maybe they picture you spanking them or maybe they picture you in leather and spiked heels.

The thing with imagination you can picture your fantasy however you like.

so yes, JB there have been plenty of men who have masturbated to the fantasy of having sex with you. 

Get over it


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> Get over it


I was simply asking questions. Telling me to "get over it" seems a bit harsh.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> I was simply asking questions. Telling me to "get over it" seems a bit harsh.


my goodness, my sarcasm has been misinterpreted as meanness lately

I was just joking and saying that its nothing to be scared of, just because you get fantasized over doesnt mean they will definitely ask you out or leer over you. We fantasize because it's "safe"


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> my goodness, my sarcasm has been misinterpreted as meanness lately


Got it.  

And thanks for everyone who has answered my ?s.

Back to JennyLynn--I do think you need to have a serious talk with your husband and this friend. You should tell them both separately (first, your husband)--that you're not ok w/ him having people over when you're not there. 

You should tell her you don't want her over when you're not both home. 

The end.

Boundaries, baby!


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

put it this way- I know my wife has "rape" fantasy (I prefer the term ravage fantasy) but she would never in a millions years would actually want to be raped. The fantasy is safe and exciting, the reality is not and quite horrible. 

So aside from fantasizing over women that they would have sex with if given the chance, men will fantasize about women that they never could have sex with, including women in the "friend zone" because they know the reality would destroy the friendship.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

Jellybeans said:


> So ... does that mean all guy friends wank to female friends they find attractive (the single dudes)?
> 
> .


1 - Yes.
2 - What does being single have to do with it?


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

> Is it only Brad Pitt? It is never a friend?


Oh GOD, NO! 

It's NEVER Brad Pitt...

and it's never a friend...


(but, again, I ONLY speak for myself)


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

Let me be clear. I would never partake in the hijacking of a thread, to the extent I did here, if I thought it was truly a hijacking. That YOUtube video was great. All the guys have one answer, the girls another. Just like in our thread. So I think it's safe to say that we guys win by default.

POINT:

How many guys in that video, right IN FRONT of their gal pals, said "Hell yeah" to the question (and I'm paraphrasing) "would you do her?".

Once THE GIRL shows an interest, it's a done deal. PARTICULARLY considering the amount of effort your guy is putting into her. That's WAY too much time for a girl he's not into. 

I'm going to be punished with guy-code karma points for this, I fear. But I've got to say it: there's not a single guy reading this that doesn't know your man wants her. But it's not HIS intent we're worried about, is it?

He will honestly say "we're just friends". If you don't pull the confrontation off right, you lose forever as a jealous control freak who's hubby can't have any friends. Talk about boundaries. Hell, show him that Youtube video. Tell him it was a unanimous decision and he's on the team that has proven he's headed for all bad with her. It's a near guarantee.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Just want to add that I think the onus falls on your husband here. If he respected you at all, he would not be allowing this to happen. He would respect you, your marriage, your home and not be ok with allowing another woman inside to "hang out" while you're not there. 

It's not ok. At all. 

He has some pretty crappy boundaries. 

If you had some guy friend coming over all the time to your house while your husband was away at work, especially some guy who was "flirty" with you, your husband would be pissed. No guy would be ok with that. Well, no guy that cares about you.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

...and OP signed out one minute after posting and didnt come back


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Yeah I noticed that, too. 

Hopefully she does have a talk with him and he starts respecting their relationship more.


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## Peachy Cat (Apr 15, 2012)

While you're having relationship issues and working on it, this flirty girl needs to be on a leash, period.

EA's start just like this: he's having problems, he vents to her, she lends a sympathetic ear, you're made out to be the bad guy....


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