# A tough afternoon!



## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

WH has been here the morning doing jobs for me. He's just taken the kids to the beach. He asked me if I wanted to go to. I said no.
So now they have all gone and I'm sitting here crying, regretting my decision!
I'm sure it was the right thing to do but it's the first time and it's really tough!
I've been getting stronger this week and really thought I'd turned a corner. Now I feel like I've gone backwards!

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## unsure78 (Oct 17, 2011)

DG,
it will be ok, we all go through the ups and downs and you have been so strong- its ok just let it out and you will feel better. everyone is here for you
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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

oh daisy - I think you absolutely did the right thing even though it doesn't feel like it

Imagine the emotional turmoil you'd be in if you had gone?


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

You did the right thing! 

Now go out and enjoy your afternoon


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

Thanks everyone.
It was a hard decision. When the weather is nice we always spent a lot of time at the beach and too see them all go off for the first time without me was heartbreaking.
It's so much easier when I don't see him. I can detach. 
X
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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

You did it! :woohoo:

Now, make some plans for you  Can you do that? I mean, do you have transportation? I would go get a coffee, or lunch or maybe a movie! *yea, i go out by myself and love it*


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

daisygirl 41 said:


> WH has been here the morning doing jobs for me. He's just taken the kids to the beach. He asked me if I wanted to go to. I said no.
> So now they have all gone and I'm sitting here crying, regretting my decision!
> I'm sure it was the right thing to do but it's the first time and it's really tough!
> I've been getting stronger this week and really thought I'd turned a corner. Now I feel like I've gone backwards!
> ...


You did the right thing! Take somet time for you!! Go soak in the tub or run some errands, read a book...treat yourself. 

I sure have missed talking to you all this week (I am back at work!)


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

I just wonder if he is finding it strange without me there?
Should I care!
I'm going to pick my mum up and take her out
X
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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Dont' worry about what he thinks! Who cares!

Enjoy time with you mum  Whacha gonna do?


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## Nsweet (Mar 3, 2012)

You've got him doing chores for you and taking your kids to the beach on a day he could be relaxing with the OW. Are you his wife or his pimp? 
Seriously, your stbxh is bending over backwards to impress you and you're the one crying. Take charge of the situation and show him the confident woman he married that had her pick of other men but somehow favored him. I wouldn't be surprised you could get dinner and a back rub out of him later on. You're well on your way to becoming the OW to the OW:smthumbup:


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

Thx all for your encouragement.
I picked my mum up and we went for a coffee. She's very supportive. 
Came home and they were back from the beach. Then off he went to see the *****!!
I was strong though. I just said I don't know what your plans are for tomorrow but you can see the kids after tea if you like (6pm). Then he said he didn't have plans. Looked a bit miffed. I ignored it and said ' it's my turn to do something nice with the kids tomorrow' and smiled.

Off he went. I came in, cried, now I've got my big girls pants on again!! **** him. Hope he's having a lovely guilt free evening like I will be!!
All the kids are out for a couple of hours. I'm going to visit friends and have a couple of glassess of wine. The. Be home with 
My beautiful children.

At least when I start a new relationship it will be built on good things. Not lies and guilt and shame. I I have tried everything to save my marriage over the last 10 months. I really did my best, now it's time to start my new life!
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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

Nsweet said:


> You've got him doing chores for you and taking your kids to the beach on a day he could be relaxing with the OW. Are you his wife or his pimp?
> Seriously, your stbxh is bending over backwards to impress you and you're the one crying. Take charge of the situation and show him the confident woman he married that had her pick of other men but somehow favored him. I wouldn't be surprised you could get dinner and a back rub out of him later on. You're well on your way to becoming the OW to the OW:smthumbup:


You know what though he's so 'nice' to me it's pathetic.
Today: walked the dogs, cleaned the windows, made lunch, pumped the tyres on my car, brought the washing in, took the kids out!!!
Told me a out 5 times how nice I looked!!' WTF!!! That man is carrying some guilt!!!
Oh well at least the jobs got done!!!

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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

that_girl said:


> You did it! :woohoo:
> 
> Now, make some plans for you  Can you do that? I mean, do you have transportation? I would go get a coffee, or lunch or maybe a movie! *yea, i go out by myself and love it*


Thankyou. You always come across as such a strong person. It been a long time coming but I AM getting there xx
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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

Mamatomany said:


> You did the right thing! Take somet time for you!! Go soak in the tub or run some errands, read a book...treat yourself.
> 
> I sure have missed talking to you all this week (I am back at work!)


Missed you too. How's it going with you?
X
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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

Another small step. WH was supposed to be coming over to walk the dogs this afternoon (after he'd spent the day with *****atron). I just txt him and said
'no need to walk the dogs today. It's a lovely day, I'll take them'
I know it's a small thing but it's a big step for me in actually doing what is best for mr and not letting him do it to ease his guilt!
Now I'll just worry about if for half an hour!!
X
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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

daisygirl 41 said:


> You know what though he's so 'nice' to me it's pathetic.
> Today: walked the dogs, cleaned the windows, made lunch, pumped the tyres on my car, brought the washing in, took the kids out!!!
> Told me a out 5 times how nice I looked!!' WTF!!! That man is carrying some guilt!!!
> Oh well at least the jobs got done!!!
> ...


Wow! Mine never does that. We have been very much NC even when he comes over or calls. I won't let him get personal or ask anything about me anymore. I have acreage and the grass, weeds, and other maintenance needs to be done and I am still on drs orders not to do much - he will not be offering to help or do anything here, pretty much a guarantee that way he will be forcing me to realize I need to sell our house. 

I bet w/ NC you may see more of his guilt


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

daisygirl 41 said:


> WH has been here the morning doing jobs for me. He's just taken the kids to the beach. He asked me if I wanted to go to. I said no.
> So now they have all gone and I'm sitting here crying, regretting my decision!
> I'm sure it was the right thing to do but it's the first time and it's really tough!
> I've been getting stronger this week and really thought I'd turned a corner. Now I feel like I've gone backwards!
> ...


you HAVE turned a corner and this was NOT a step back.
it was a step forward.
you turned him down for something and stuck with it, then you canceled plans for him to walk the dogs.
good for you.
it may be slow and painful, but you are doing very well.
just stay on track.


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