# Women, what type of men do you like? Help!



## youtubelud (Nov 28, 2010)

Women please help me on this one. 
Am so confused. I keep reading women like the bad boy man type. I recently started dating a woman. I buy her cards, flowers, chocolate. I call her and love hanging out with her alot. But I keep reading I should not be so nice and so sweet. That this will make me seem too available, and clingy. This is just the way I am. Should I change. I will not be being myself.
I don't want to pretend something am not. Do women like the sweet, super nice guy?


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

What you have to understand is its not whether you do nice things that is going to make a women love you. A women will love something about your core personality. Why do you do nice things for her? Is it to try and make her love you? To try and keep her from leaving? These are the things that will chase women off. 

You sound insecure. It is not the nice things you do that will chase her off. If you're not confident about who you are, and confident being single, then a girl isnt going to want to stay with you. 

My H did a lot of really sweet things for me when we were dating. but that's not why i love him, its part of it but certainly not the core reason. i dated a lot of sweet guys. i love his personality and his confidence. i love what he can bring to the relationship and a possible family.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

We like men who aren't cheating on their wives! And are honest and sincere. That's a good starting place for me.


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

does she like you?? do you make her laugh?? can she be herself around you?? does she maake you laugh?? do the two have almost the same views and opinions?? are your takes on marriage and kids, and money going in the same direction??


if you are both diggin on each other, go with it, have fun see where it goes.

if sshe does break up with you in 6 months or even a year?? why would you change, just because she didnt like you?? find someone who will, just like mom ssid "love you for you"!!

dont change your self for anybody. change because, you want to make a possitive change, to make your self better. we all change for our loved one, but its a good change, its a change to include a life for two different people to unite.

i know its hard and confussing...it will all make sense...


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

No, you should not change. You want a woman who will love you for exactly who you are, not who you can pretend to be. Eventually, the pretense will fail and she will be left with the real you, and if that's not who she wanted, then she will be disappointed, as will you when she leaves you. 

Be yourself. The woman who loves you precisely for who you are, clingy or not, sweet or not, flowerbuying or not, is the woman that you want to be with. 

Just as you wouldn't want to be with a woman who pretends to be what you want, and then later shows you that she's not, women don't want that.

Edit: I noticed 827Aug's responses to you, and I went and checked out your other posts. I'd like to change my response to say that yes, you should change. You should change into a decent, faithful man that a decent, faithful woman would want to be with. All the flowers and other romantic crap in the world doesn't mean anything if you can't give her your whole heart, and you can't do that if you're married. You're being unfair to both this new woman and your wife, and you need to stop.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Maybe this is a decent woman who knows you are married. If that's the case none of these courting techniques are going to work for you.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

You don't have to be a bad boy. But you cannot be a 'boy'.
Can you explain why you feel compelled to buy her cards, flowers, and chocolate if you only recently started dating?

And moreover, if you KNEW this was turning her off ... would you still do those things for her, because 'that's who you are'?


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Please, stop using women to distract you from the hard work you need to do on yourself. Your self-esteem is terrible, and you will simply fall into another unhealthy, co-dependent relationship if you don't work with a counselor to improve your self-image. You have a lot of years ahead to find someone worth having, but that won't happen if you are so desperate to be "loved" that you act like a clingy child, cheat, and/or tolerate abuse. You didn't have the balls to leave an abusive wife, and then you cheated on her--that is passive-aggressive, cowardly behavior. Of course your wife didn't want to have sex with you; she had no respect for you b/c you let her mistreat you. Why do you think another woman will "solve" your problems when the problem lies within you? Sorry to be harsh, but you don't seem to be getting the message. You need to swear off women and dating, get divorced, focus on becoming a really good single dad, and get counseling. Seriously, you need 2-3 years to learn to respect and trust yourself! Your head will be in a much better place if you do that!


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## kendra2705 (Oct 31, 2010)

I will never stay with a bad boy, I love romance , to be made to feel special , a deffinite connection , the flowers and chocs are a lovely gesture but no good to me if its given for the lack of affection , spending money on me wouldn't work if there was not love , I have just parted from a hard attitude type guy , who also thinks bad boys get the girls, and yes in a lot of cases some do.

I really hope i find a man one day who will make me feel loved properly , I think you sound wonderful.


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## Zammo (Aug 9, 2010)

sisters359 said:


> Of course your wife didn't want to have sex with you; she had no respect for you b/c you let her mistreat you. Why do you think another woman will "solve" your problems when the problem lies within you? Sorry to be harsh, but you don't seem to be getting the message. You need to swear off women and dating, get divorced, focus on becoming a really good single dad, and get counseling. Seriously, you need 2-3 years to learn to respect and trust yourself! Your head will be in a much better place if you do that!


This. Seriously.



kendra2705 said:


> I will never _stay _with a bad boy, I love romance , to be made to feel special , a deffinite connection , the flowers and chocs are a lovely gesture but no good to me if its given for the lack of affection , spending money on me wouldn't work if there was not love , I have just parted from a hard attitude type guy , who also thinks bad boys get the girls, and yes in a lot of cases some do.


But you are attracted to the BadBoy type as are many, many other women. That's the biological imperative at work.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I think people should be who they are at their core. If a guy is sensitive, romantic & loving, he should show that, just be careful as many women will take advantage of it. Only bestow it on the worthy. To act like a Bad Boy when it is not really in your nature, you will fall on your face & be found out anyway. 

I personally prefer the Sensitive , Romantic, Affectioinate , even vulnerable nature of the shy guy the best. So long as he has a healthy sex drive, is Responsible in living & faithful in playing, this would describe my flavor of a GOOD man to settle down with, get dirty with, raise a family with and happily grow old with. 

This is what I have. If I ever lost him, I would be looking for a similar replacement , as hard as it may be to find in this world.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

> I personally prefer the Sensitive , Romantic, Affectioinate , even vulnerable nature of the shy guy the best.


YouTube - BEDAZZLED ~ Sensitive ~ Elliott Wish

:rofl:


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## BigBadWolf (Nov 30, 2009)

Don't focus on "bad boy" too much. That is missing the point.

And trying to become something you are not, that is NEVER the point!

A woman, she is looking for her man to be his own man. 

The "bad boy", despite all the negatives that are not good for long term relationships, possesses the tings a woman finds irrestible: he is a challenge to her and not boring, and demonstrating he is not afraid to stand for himself.

A woman, she is not looking for her man to be a child. That is the danger of being too "nice guy" to a woman.

Since youtube links are out, here's a good one that is food for thinking:

YouTube - Bad Boys and Women






RandomDude said:


> YouTube - BEDAZZLED ~ Sensitive ~ Elliott Wish
> 
> :rofl:


@RandomDude:That was just painful. 

I have not seen that movie, but it is good to see popular culture not missing these same tings, "nice guys" and "bad boys", even if very over the top.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

RandomDude said:


> YouTube - BEDAZZLED ~ Sensitive ~ Elliott Wish
> 
> :rofl:


Hilarious!


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

RandomDude said:


> YouTube - BEDAZZLED ~ Sensitive ~ Elliott Wish
> 
> :rofl:


I coughed up blood from laughing so hard.


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## remmons (Dec 20, 2010)

This is what my wife wanted in a man when I met her...this is not neccessarily in order of importance.

1. Organization and structure,
2. Time together,
3. Time apart, (time for herself, time for him),
4. Set goals, (weekly, monthly, yearly),
5. Your love,
6. Love her children,
7. That she is appreciated,
8. Talk daily,
9. Security, (to feel secure and safe),
10. Encouragement,
11. Smiles,
12. To be held,
13. That things will be O.K.
14. Honesty,
15. Stability,
16. Positive encouragement,
17. To be a man,
18. Protection,
19. To care for her children,
20. To not be afraid to ask for something,
21. Acceptance,
22. Friendship,
23. Cards and flowers,
24. To go out on a date regularly,

There are more than this, but they all fall under one of the above.


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## Zammo (Aug 9, 2010)

In the context of dating, it's best _not_ to ask a woman what she wants. She will most often respond with answers based on social expectations. As well, straight women don't date other women and so don't know the real deal.

Rather, ask single guys (who are good at dating) what women want.


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## remmons (Dec 20, 2010)

Zammo said:


> In the context of dating, it's best _not_ to ask a woman what she wants. She will most often respond with answers based on social expectations. As well, straight women don't date other women and so don't know the real deal.
> 
> Rather, ask single guys (who are good at dating) what women want.


I realize that I had placed my answer some what out of the proper time frames. My appologies. Hopefully I will clarify.

Some of these things were discussed during our first dates, but a majority of them were brought up afterwards, sometimes even years after.

Another great source is (gasp, I'm saying it!) Men's and Women's Magazines. They have some great information from both the woman's and the man's perspective.


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## moonangel (Jan 19, 2011)

youtubelud said:


> Women please help me on this one.
> Am so confused. I keep reading women like the bad boy man type. I recently started dating a woman. I buy her cards, flowers, chocolate. I call her and love hanging out with her alot. But I keep reading I should not be so nice and so sweet. That this will make me seem too available, and clingy. This is just the way I am. Should I change. I will not be being myself.
> I don't want to pretend something am not. Do women like the sweet, super nice guy?


Not all women like bad boys. I've always been attracted to the nerds. I don't know why but I think because I prefer intellectual conversations and humor over showing off how tough my guy is. My guy, btw, is tough but he just doesn't act or look the part. I like the kind who uses big words/terminologies to get their point across, not fists, and who's focused on projects...or mathematically stimulated. Flowers and chocolates are fine...but, I prefer to get those myself.


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## MAdadof1 (Jan 10, 2011)

I don't think it's a question of wanting a 'bad boy' so much as wanting a man who is confident, secure, and values himself. Unearned flattery and attention smack of cloying, boyish infatuation rather than a mature affection built on mutual respect.

It's a romantic notion that you should always give give give, but if you give much more than you get then it's a huge sign that you don't value yourself (and the other person is likely to agree with you!)


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## Mstanton (Feb 8, 2011)

This may be crude but...

You will get women when you don't care about getting women :scratchhead:... Confusing eh?

It boils down to one thing, Women want a man. To be that man you need a life, hobby etc that will give you that confidence in yourself.. Women sense confidence and that turns them on and, in turn, you get the girl.

And if you get rejected a few times - it's normal, just move on. Don't blame yourself... some girls will simply never be attracted to you no matter what you do, that's life.


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## remmons (Dec 20, 2010)

Mstanton said:


> This may be crude but...
> 
> You will get women when you don't care about getting women :scratchhead:... Confusing eh?
> 
> ...


I can agree to this. It seems that women have that "sense" that a guy is trying too hard to win her over and she loses all interest, or is even repulsed by his over confidence, where as that same woman can sense the confidence and stability of a guy who is not desperate, and thus is attracted by him.


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## Shianne (Feb 5, 2011)

I like men that are terrible for me and as needy as a child. Then I can love them and care for them and they need me.

I am also a mental mess lol

I like to be the best a man has ever had. If he can make me feel like I am the very best thing to ever happen to him I am hooked.

Enough of me. I have seen what works for guys on the dating scene and the big huge thing that seems to work on not messed up women is confidence and kindness. They are both needed to soften the other but the right balance will line them up. No matter how much hair or what size gut or any of the things you would think would matter.


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## kristinlloyd (Apr 22, 2010)

WHOA!?!? You are married and trying to date on the side?? Why would you even post in this section if you know people are going to read your other posts and profile?? Hmmm..... ????


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

kristinlloyd said:


> WHOA!?!? You are married and trying to date on the side?? Why would you even post in this section if you know people are going to read your other posts and profile?? Hmmm..... ????


Glad to see someone else caught this also!


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## KurouShinakute (Aug 26, 2011)

I think that woman like the "Gentleman" type. By this I'm saying they like men who can both "Gentle" and be a "Man".

Gentle being a guy who is sweet, romantic, loving, caring, considerate, forthcoming, trustworthy, honest etc. etc.

Man being a guy who, while still being loving and sweet, is strong and passionate in what he wants. Someone who can get rough and stands up for what he believe in. Someone who won't let people walk all over him.

I personally LOVE the "Gentleman" type. A strong personality that is still vunerable and loving and will let people in.


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## jsgrl925ws (Aug 27, 2011)

Don't fall for that bad boy thing. What people mean to say when they say that, is that women (actually, both genders) are more attracted when they feel ignored. I don't think that's worth pretending to be an ass when you're not. If she doesn't appreciate you now the way you are then she's going to regret it later if she goes for a "bad boy" who treats her bad. You don't have to pretend to be something your not, but a general rule that I think everyone should play by is to not do anything for anyone that they wouldn't do for you! That always gets them thinking.


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