# Help



## lkjhgfdsa (Mar 5, 2013)

I don't know what to do anymore...


----------



## SoulCrushed16 (Feb 15, 2016)

Care to elaborate??


----------



## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

When you're in a hole, rule #1 is to stop digging.


----------



## lkjhgfdsa (Mar 5, 2013)

I don't know what that means


----------



## lkjhgfdsa (Mar 5, 2013)

Sorry, not in a good place right now


----------



## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Think about it. Are you still doing the same things that brought you here?


----------



## lkjhgfdsa (Mar 5, 2013)

Yes. Just don't know how to get out


----------



## lkjhgfdsa (Mar 5, 2013)

Married 20 years. Feeling less and less connection to my wife. Taking care of my aging parents. Feeling very alone. Very stressed out


----------



## SoulCrushed16 (Feb 15, 2016)

OP what things are you doing that you can't get out of??


----------



## SoulCrushed16 (Feb 15, 2016)

lkjhgfdsa said:


> Married 20 years. Feeling less and less connection to my wife. Taking care of my aging parents. Feeling very alone. Very stressed out


Why do you feel disconnected from your wife? Is it because you're taking care of your aging parents?


----------



## lkjhgfdsa (Mar 5, 2013)

I have felt discounted to her for a long time. Maybe from the start. My situation with my folks is just making things worse. She is more interested in our teenage kids than me. I spend most of my time alone. She seems to feel that I control her. Not true! Today she said she wants to visit her mother but can't get away from work. I suggested we fly her mother out to us. By the way I love her mother and we get on great. My wife react s like I am telling her she can't go visit her mother. What????


----------



## lkjhgfdsa (Mar 5, 2013)

My wife recently told me that I am trying to imprison her. I asked her why she would say that. She said that I was trying to guilt her into spending time with me...


----------



## lkjhgfdsa (Mar 5, 2013)

Our first and only vacation for just the two of us was for our 20 th anniversary. We went 5 to 10 years without a single date.


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

lkjhgfdsa said:


> I have felt discounted to her for a long time. Maybe from the start. My situation with my folks is just making things worse. She is more interested in our teenage kids than me. I spend most of my time alone. She seems to feel that I control her. Not true! Today she said she wants to visit her mother but can't get away from work. I suggested we fly her mother out to us. By the way I love her mother and we get on great. My wife react s like I am telling her she can't go visit her mother. What????


Hmm...

She might have wanted to visit someone other than her mother.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## lkjhgfdsa (Mar 5, 2013)

Whatever... Great...


----------



## lkjhgfdsa (Mar 5, 2013)

Nevermind


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

lkjhgfdsa said:


> Our first and only vacation for just the two of us was for our 20 th anniversary. We went 5 to 10 years without a single date.


:surprise:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## lkjhgfdsa (Mar 5, 2013)

Am I crazy or is this wrong?????


----------



## SoulCrushed16 (Feb 15, 2016)

If you felt disconnected from the very beginning then why did you get married? 
Do you love your wife? Have you two ever been happy? 

By the way OP what is your nationality?


----------



## higgsb (Apr 4, 2016)

Get a voice activated recorder and put it in her car.
You'll find out fast enough if she's having an affair or not.
From what you are saying, especially the trip out of state to see her mom, she may be having an affair.


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

GusPolinski said:


> Hmm...
> 
> She might have wanted to visit someone other than her mother.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Gus, the amalgam of Nick Charles, Hercule Poirot. 

A plot in every post. None is so clever so as to evade the discerning and piercing eye of the Polish [heritage] Sleuth.

Naturally a cynic, a necessary doomster. 

Life, with its plenteous anthropoid emotional grifters, demands THIS.


----------



## higgsb (Apr 4, 2016)

> Gus, the amalgam of Nick Charles, Hercule Poirot.
> 
> A plot in every post. None is so clever so as to evade the discerning and piercing eye of the Polish [heritage] Sleuth.
> 
> ...


Or she really is having an affair.


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

SunCMars said:


> Gus, the amalgam of Nick Charles, Hercule Poirot.
> 
> A plot in every post. None is so clever so as to evade the discerning and piercing eye of the Polish [heritage] Sleuth.
> 
> ...





americansteve said:


> Or she really is having an affair.


She may or may not be.

If it hadn't been for her getting sh*tty after he suggesting that they fly her mother in for a visit (as opposed to finding a way for her to visit her mother), the thought that she might be cheating would've never occurred to me.

It's no skin off my back either way.

Still, I think the idea that she _is_ cheating is at least worth consideration, as well as some discrete sleuthing.

_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

americansteve said:


> Or she really is having an affair.


 @americansteve
@GusPolinski

I was *complementing* Gus. He keeps the less attentive Dudes and Dames on their pointy feet. We have too many [word and post] skimmers on TAM and on tap............"They be" Post and Jim Beam constructionists.

This is one of MANY of my diffuse, loquacious posts.

My detractors would call the posts "Chump Scribbling". That too.

Wooooooooooosssh......over Skull cases fly the Confabulations of this Versifier. 

Words have meaning.

Is she cheating? Time will tell and/or reveal, yes or no. Beyond a shadow of a doubt.

And hopefully the evidence reveals the answer; before the poster vacates this TAM enquiry.


----------



## lkjhgfdsa (Mar 5, 2013)

Is this a joke to you?


----------



## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

lkjhgfdsa said:


> Is this a joke to you?


Should it be?


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Personal said:


> Should it be?


 @lkjhgfdsa


Sorry sir...not a joke.

I keep the conversation light and colorful.....no offense meant.

We all approach the Forum dialogue differently.


----------



## BookOfJob (Jul 6, 2012)

lkjhgfdsa said:


> Is this a joke to you?


No it is not and neither was Gus's advice. All things considered, we all get worried when someone came here and said he needed help (and nothing to elaborate, in your first post).

Obviously your marriage needs work and *you* will be the one who will do the grunt of it in the first place. .So think about the advice above and the others here will give you other avenues to explore too


----------



## SoulCrushed16 (Feb 15, 2016)

OP,

We need a bit more information than what you have provided thus far. It's not quite enough to draw any conclusions. 

Btw, no one here is joking. From the minute details you have provided, the finger is pointing in one direction. Please provide some more info.


----------

