# This is what the MIL from hell told me:



## prayingforhelp (Apr 7, 2015)

While brushing my teeth at 10:30pm, the doorbell rings. Wife answers it. I turn around and her parents are at the doorway to the master bath. MIL proceeded to lecture me for 90 minutes. 

She said:
1. I am a sorry piece of ****. We have told -wife- to divorce your ass but she says she still loves you for some reason. She is going to keep this house.
2. You are never going to get custody of -daughter-. -Wife- can find her a man that will move into this house and be -daughters- father. You are going to lose everything.
3. She wanted to beat the snot out of me and gladly spend 24 hours in jail for it.
4. You do this, this, this and this wrong. Your family is a piece of ****. They don't love you. you don't know what love is.
5. She will spend everything she has so I do not get to see my child.
6. this goes on and on.

I learned:
1. Wife tells her mom about every single thing that I did not do right by her standards.
2. Wife fits all 10 signs of an emotional bully per Dr Tara.
3. Wife repeated lied and distorted the truth about what type of person I am to her family. 
4. Wife and her family have spoken ill about me to all our friends.

Wife has not shown love in 6 years. Sleeps in daughters room for last 5 years, no kissing, no love, she always is with her mom. Always on phone with facebook, games, texting. Wife is married to her mom, dad, brother, nephew and I am a distant 6th in the pecking order. She has spent 3+ hours with her mom in 26 of last 29 days. How can you have a marriage when you dont spend anytime with your spouse?

I am the only one that plays with daughter. Goes on rides at fairs, goes swimming, does art, does wii, plays with dolls, etc. Does that make me a bad father?

Sorry this got a little long and off subject. Just so confused by it all. Too much **** to deal with.

Then -wife- has to guts to ask me why I am not going with her to her parents house so I can swim with our daughter.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

prayingforhelp said:


> While brushing my teeth at 10:30pm, the doorbell rings. Wife answers it. I turn around and her parents are at the doorway to the master bath. MIL proceeded to lecture me for 90 minutes.
> 
> She said:
> 1. I am a sorry piece of ****. We have told -wife- to divorce your ass but she says she still loves you for some reason. She is going to keep this house.
> ...


*If this, in any way, is your definition of the word "happiness" or "contentment," then we're literally poles apart in our interpretations!

You need to depart this situation yesterday. Get your a$$ to a lawyers office ASAP to file and to explore your legal rights! No man, or even a woman needs to put up with the load of unwarranted crap that you've been richly receiving!*


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

So divorce the MIL and have her take her daughter with her. You can't possibly be happy in this marriage to begin with..


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Sorry' bout that but .................your fault. Your wife has not shown love in 6 years to you, wont sleep in the same bed with you, blabs to her parents about you and your going to make us believe that this just happened over night? 

Your fault for putting up with it for 6 years. Your fault for not opening your mouth and doing something about it. Your fault for putting up with it.

When you in laws came in your house and he mother started in on you, you should have spit the foamy tooth paste all over the place in anger and gave them along with your wife the bums rush out of the house and told them not to come back.

Your fault that you didn't hire a lawyer and get out of this farce of a marriage.

Sorry pal. You created this by not putting a stop to it a long time ago. I can't feel sorry for you.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*I'd greatly wager dollars to donuts that your MIL is the preeminent "bell cow" around her abode, and with regularity, whips her old man's a$$ just to get exercise and to put him in his place, all at the same time!*


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## life_huppens (Jun 3, 2015)

OP, so what do you think is a proper solution? Been a door mat? I got it, you love your child, that is good, but do you want your daughter to witness of how her father been treated? Have respect for yourself, grand their wishes, file for D on your conditions. Get the hell out of there, let them fight you. Also, how old is your daughter? I guess older then 6?


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

Why did you put up with this crap for so long? Are you that worried that your MIL is going to go crazy if you leave your W?

GO visit a lawyer pronto. Know your rights. And find your balls, man.
Next time that woman and her haggle comes over, put them the f**k out of your house. Push them out. Wife is upset, put her out too. 

YOU MIL is all talk and loud mouthed. She thinks if she yells, it makes her right. Well it does not. Your house, you get a say in who comes in.

Go to that lawyer and serve your wife divorce. 

You put up with too much sh*8. for way too long. 

Your daughter will thank you for taking up for yourself. You think she wants to see her daddy berated and put down. She feels sorry for you and wants to know why you are not standing up for yourself. You are her role model for a man. Do you want her to get married to a putz?

Stand up for yourself= standing up for your daughter.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Get a VAR. Record every crazy event. Check with a lawyer to make sure you know how to obtain legal evidence.

Glad the bat did jail time, maybe you can use that too. She is unstable and possibly not safe for your kids to be around.

You should get a R.O. against the in laws.

Document everything. Are you considering divorce or actually going through it?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

OP,
You did not specifically ask for advice so I am assuming that you needed to vent and maybe hear some objective opinions. To that end I offer this; your wife is a child and a spoiled one at that. Her mother is an overprotective shrew who is refusing to allow her daughter to live her own life, face her own dilemmas and reason out her own solutions.

Sometimes people confuse love with many things and do those things in the name of love when, in fact it is far from it. By sheltering her daughter she is robbing her daughter of the opportunity to grow and mature, as she has apparently done in the past. Her daughter now knows no other way but to run to mommy with every little problem so that mommy can fix it for her.

What your MIL has done in the name of "love" is actually create a daughter that is stunted in her social development. This is becoming all too common in our society as we try to shelter and protect our children when all we are really doing is ruining them. Your wife needs to stand on her own two feet and you and she need to discuss and work through whatever problems you are having. Sadly, she cannot because her mother has never allowed her to assume responsibility for her own life and she simply does not know how.

Also, your MIL sees her interference as helpful when in fact it is very detrimental but I would guess that she is one of those who can do no wrong and is perfect in her own mind. You are in a conundrum indeed.


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## Mrs.Submission (Aug 16, 2015)

NoChoice said:


> OP,
> You did not specifically ask for advice so I am assuming that you needed to vent and maybe hear some objective opinions. To that end I offer this; your wife is a child and a spoiled one at that. Her mother is an overprotective shrew who is refusing to allow her daughter to live her own life, face her own dilemmas and reason out her own solutions.
> 
> Sometimes people confuse love with many things and do those things in the name of love when, in fact it is far from it. By sheltering her daughter she is robbing her daughter of the opportunity to grow and mature, as she has apparently done in the past. Her daughter now knows no other way but to run to mommy with every little problem so that mommy can fix it for her.
> ...


I wish that I could frame this post and put it on my wall. 
Married couples should not turn to parents to solve their private problems. Since marriage is for grown adults and not petulant children, it doesn't make sense to run to Mommy with every little thing. 

My husband and I have been married for five years and together for over 8. I have gone to my mother just ONCE in that whole time. My mom is just like the OP's MIL so I know not to give people like that too much say in our life.

OP, the sooner you get away from your wife and Mommie Dearest, the better you will feel about yourself. I can tell you that growing up seeing my father being disrespected by mom had a negative impact on my relationships. Please don't let the same thing happen to your daughter.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Your wife has no respect for you. you are basically there as a sperm donor and financial provider. She never left her parents when she married you. You have to take back what is yours. 

1. Go to the inlaws and tell your mil that you have had enough of her bs. She will never come to your house again and disrespect you the way she did...EVER if she knows what is good for her

2. Speak with your wife and tell her you will not be disrespected in your own home and she has to act as a wife should, not gossiping to her mum, spending more time there, etc. You have had enough and the rules have to change. You give her a timeframe to go to MC to work through the boundaries. You tell her exactly how demeaning she has been and then acts as if nothing happened. That s*** has to STOP! (you should never have let this go on for 6 years! Grow a pair!)
If she does not agree to these terms, you are filing for divorce.
3. Then do the 180 on her completely.
2. You go and see a lawyer, see what your rights are and file for divorce.

If your wife is emotionally abusive, make sure from here on out you record all interactions with her and the inlaws. It may come in useful in future.


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## Orange_Pekoe (Jan 5, 2015)

I'm so upset.
Because it reminds me of the condition I was in.

(I lived with my in laws and my husband never stood up for me, and refused to move out.)

Your in laws are much, much too involved in your marital life. Your wife is too codependant on them. She has to grow up...but she probably sees nothing wrong with her relationship with her parents, so there is very little chance she will change.

Your marriage is a toxic one. You don't deserve to be subjected to this abuse (yes, it's abuse). It's bad for your daughter as well, to know her father is repeatedly bashed and disrespected.

The only thing I could do after many, many attempts to salvage my marriage, was walk away. Even then I didn't give up (tried to convince husband to move in with me)...to no avail. But I learned a lot in the process. I learned that I am a human being, I have worth, I have value, I deserve to be peaceful, especially in my own home. I learned that what I do and what I subject myself to has a direct impact on my daughter. Where was your daughter when your MIL was verbally abusing you and your wife was watching? Reminds me of my in laws...

You deserve to be healthy and not beaten down and used as a carpet.


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