# Deep thoughts by Paradise Part II



## Paradise (Dec 16, 2011)

Well, the end of the school year is here for me and in two days they are taking my computer away! :rofl: Normally they allow us to keep them but we are getting new ones next year so I have to trade mine in and wait til the end of the summer. 

Honestly, I feel like it is a good thing because I spend way to much time surfing the web while I'm alone. Maybe it is time to go back to reading, playing my guitar, and doing some other things I use to really enjoy instead of reading about divorced people all the time. While TAM has been a tremendous help to me there are times when I feel like I'm stuck and I need to get away. I don't post much but I read much more than I should! Sometimes the stories are so similar to my own that it brings back up all of those haunting memories of my own divorce. 

I'm two years divorced now. It is time for me to move on and not think about it anymore. Find some things that I can begin doing to enhance my own quality of life rather than worrying about how much better my exw's life is than my own. Yep, I'm stuck and I've been here in this place for too damn long. I still wonder why it hurts after two years. Probably due to the fact I share a child and it hurts to not be there every day with her. That's the only thing I can really pinpoint. I mean, the marriage sucked. I wasn't happy and I know my ex wasn't happy but yet the rejection was too much to bear for me. Not sure. If I could afford a shrink I would have enlisted that help a long time ago but I cannot really worry about that. 

Shoo, niceguy, shoeguy, etc, etc....I hope you fellas are doing great! Haven't seen much of you guys around here in a while. And you ladies on here. Reading your stories really makes me have some hope that I can find a woman as strong and caring and wonderful as all of you. You gals deserve to find an awesome partner to walk through life with and smell the roses. 

As for me, here's hoping I can find my own paradise. 

Take care all!!!


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

Awww, we will miss you, Paradise!! I sympathize -- detaching is harder when you have to co-parent, and the fact that you're no longer a full-time parent makes the whole thing suck even more. 

I hope you're in an area with lots of cool things to do this summer. Take advantage of the time away. Don't pressure yourself to be 'healed' by a certain deadline. Everyone has their own progression.
As long as it's forward, it's good!

I hope you'll come back and update us on how you're doing. And you don't have to limit your posts to the sad sections of TAM. We have lots of silly fun in Social, and you're welcome to join us there. It's a nice relief from the pain and suffering on the rest of the site, that's for sure.

Take care, sweetie!! ((hugs))

Angel


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## jpr (Dec 14, 2011)

(hug) to you, Paradise.


...you are one of the good ones.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

MAN!!!! 
Your words, as usual, share a very similar situation to my own. Shared kid, divorced for 2 years, feeling like I need to go do something more....
I pulled up to the marital home to pick up the kiddo yesterday, and the ex and her bf were driving up at the same time. They park in the driveway, get out, walk up the driveway to enter the home and let my kid know Im there..

Life is better now. Remembering that, and considering how the marriage truly was for so long is the hard part for me. I cannot reconcile the sense of anger or resentment, when I know I am so much better off without her or her brand of relationship.

Im going to breakfast with a nice girl Sunday. Its kind of the first time Ive gone out with a woman for a very long time. 
Shes a long time friend from way back, but still, nice to just share some time.

I hope you can come back and let us know how you are doing in the future. Get a cellphone!! lol.

Best of luck brother. This was one hell of a ride, and thanks for your encouragement and ear when it was most necessary.


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