# Who is my husband??



## KRISTIEWALKER (Nov 7, 2011)

About a year or so ago, I ran across a strange email address and I ask my husband if it was his. I dropped the issue and everything went back to normal. A couple of months ago, while on vacation he asked me to check his email and see if we received our confirmation yet. I could not find it so he said check the sent box to see the date we replied. While looking I found a picture of a body part(vagina) that had been forwarded to that "strange email address" that I had previously found. I confronted him and he denied until he was blue in the face. I started looking and researching and trying to discover who's email address but I could only find the name David Patrick. I decided to drop the issue and told myself I was being stupid. A coupl of nights ago, while watching tv, a girl on tv asked her boyfriend what was the name of his first pet. Well I remebered that was the security question when I tried finding info on that email address. I asked my husband and he told me his first pet.. Before we went to bed, I went to computer and decided what will it hurt, I am going to be wrong and I can continue with my marriage.. I tried the password security question and it was right. I got into the email address and confronted my husband. He said he didnt know why he did it and he was sorry about lying to me and making me feel stupid. All that was in it was pictures of naked women sent to him by coworkers. I am just concerned that if he goes to the trouble of having a fake email address with a fake name, what else is he hiding and how convincing he was when I questioned him.. He said it was nothing, he just didnt want me to get mad about the pictures.. I dont know what to do. We talked, cried, said our marriage is worth saving... we had the best weekend and everything went back to normal except me on the inside. Can I ever trust him again? I am a mess emotionally and I dont know if I want to continue.. We have an incredible life but a fake identity just doesnt make sense!! ANY ADVICE OR OPINIONS???


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

If you're going to let him sweep this under the carpet, you should just tell him you're ok with an open marriage and be done with it.

The two of you NEED to figure out why he did that, and resolve the issues.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Bartimaus (Oct 15, 2011)

If you post this thread in the 'Infidelity' section you will get alot of response. But be prepared to be told that your man,and it sounds like it to me too,is cheating on you big time. But if you have a past of depression already then just don't...stay right here.


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## sad wife (Aug 19, 2011)

Good luck! No offense, men lie. A man will cheat on you and swear he didn't do it. My husband can look me straight in the eye, not flinch an inch and still lie. He thinks everyone else is dumb like him! Play dumb and they tell more on themselves than you will ever imagine!


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## questionmarkwife (Mar 22, 2011)

Wow ur story is exactly how u found out about my husband as well.  tho i found out he was cheating our whole 4 yr marriage and two kids later. And u know wat, it just got worse from there. Chance after chance and he still hasnt changed. U lucky u found out sooner than much later. Wake up this wont be just it. Ur sex life will die more and he will want to keep cheating. A yr and half later im seperated 3 x and wish i left the first time. It just gets harder. Do not trust him. Theres more to find trust me. Look In his gadgets. See if he locks them. Good luck. And once the distrust starts dont ever trust again until they prove them selves thru actions and NOT words.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## desert-rose (Aug 16, 2011)

My WH too hid a LOT of stuff behind fake names and hidden email addresses. I found out quite by mistake and was really horrified by all the things I discovered and how well they'd been hidden. I know that there is a whole lot that he's still hiding, though. What I thought was just a porn addiction showed itself to be a serious problem. He's been unfaithful to me the whole year we have been married and I wonder now if he had ever been faithful in all our relationship. We're separated at the moment and I don't really have any hope that he's going to change his egregious cheating behavior because he's blameshifting, gaslighting, and deflecting the issue with rage tantrums, homicidal rantings, denials, and other abusive behavior. Do you have any history of psychological abuse, manipulative or controlling behavior in your relationship? Any other reason to think he's up to something? If so, that puts this hidden account into a different context indicative of what other things you will find and how he might react when you confront him about it. I'd suggest being wary and careful when you do talk to him about it.

I'd bet almost anything that this is just the tip of the iceberg that he's hiding from you. Don't trust him. Gather evidence yourself. Consider getting a keylogger on your computer and gathering information. Check browser history and see if it's been deleted or not, see if his phone yields anything unusual, etc.


Oh -- also, I agree with sad wife above. If you pretend you don't know anything, you can uncover more and then know the truth. Confront too early and he'll just cover his tracks better.


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## SMiller (Dec 5, 2011)

Desert-Rose is right. Confronting them too early just makes them better at covering their tracks.

For my best friend, it started with one red flag, not too long after she got married. She found an email her H sent to a woman on a porn site. She forced him to see a counselor with her and the counselor said he was a sex addict. My friend put tracking software on his computer and monitored it for months and couldn't find any suspicious activity. Guess what? He had shifted from computer cheating to text messaging. He was also going to strip clubs, sleeping with prostitutes, etc. She had no idea until one of the women called her and told her about it. He had been cheating on her before they got married and the entire time they were married. She divorced him, but not before he almost ruined her financially and emotionally.

I'm not suggesting that's what your h is up to, but protect yourself. Get PC tracking software and monitor your cell phone records to see if he's up to anything else.


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