# Wife's Credit Cards



## hot dogger (Jan 28, 2010)

So I got a call around my birthday from a CC company telling me that my wife was going to collections for 4600 on a card. When asked about it and how much the total debt was she told me 22K, with nothing to show for it. Now mind you i asked atleast once a month about the CC debt and she said it was around 1500 to 2000. This was not a once in a blue moon question it was every month atleast! Now my wife works makes about 20k per year and pay's for babysitting, and pay's her grandparents a sum a month b/c they handed her the cash to get her out of debt. So with that being said let me make one more statement, i pay for everything else, one more time EVERYTHING ELSE!! Home loan, her auto loan, food cost, heating/cooling & water bill, insurance plus i pay child support on one child. Now first question is how do i trust again? Second does anyone see a problem with her grandparnets bailing her out?? Third what if she is doing it agian?


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## artieb (Nov 11, 2009)

Credit-card interest is staggering. If the grandparents will bail her out, and she pays them back at 5%, that's not unreasonable.

She should lose her credit cards. Set up a separate bank account with a debit-only card on it, and that's the only card she gets to use. That way, when the money runs out, she can't spend any more.


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## rick_bachman (Jan 27, 2010)

I do agree that while the grandparents loaning money is cheaper than the credit cards, it puts a strain on the relationship, and can make family dinners uncomfortable in some situations, especially when they see their granddaughter spending money on things they don't think is necessary. They might even have an issue with your spending.

I agree with the person above about the credit cards and the debit cards, but why not just give her cash.Have you ever thought twice about spending cash, vs using a card? - studies have shown that people spend 78% more (I believe that's the statistic) when using cards vs cash.

Just a thought


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I put my last wife on the curb, primarily over her unwillingness to be a responsible and honest financial partner. She ran up credit card debt over $65K three separate times. I don't earn that in a year. She hid bills, insisted on "managing" finances and lied daily to cover overspending. I worked three jobs just to keep the doors open on the house. After her 3d time, it was just over for me. It was just a simple matter or survival. If I had kept her, I would be working till I'm 90 and have nothing to show for it. 
Financial emergencies are one thing, but deliberate and constant overspending amounts to selling one's spouse into perpetual slavery and it's just disrespectful and cruel. I have since remarried, paid all the ex's debts (for the third time). I have money in the bank and I can actually take the occasional vacation and enjoy life a little. 
You can't build anything with a partner who works against your efforts.


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

When I was 18, I got stupid with money. My grandparents bailed me out. I paid them back, with interest, and never made that mistake again. The humiliation of admitting to my grandparents, whom I adored, that I did something so stupid, was enough to cure me. 

If I'm reading what you wrote correctly, they have already bailed her out once, and now she's messed up again. Bailing her out once was fine. But if this is time #2, then she clearly didn't learn her lesson. Bailing her out again isn't going to do any real good. Yes, it will eliminate the immediate financial difficulty, saving her and/or you from collectors, garnishments, bankruptcy, etc., but the only real effect it will have on her is to reinforce the idea that if she gets into trouble, Grandma and Grandpa (or you or Mom and Dad or whoever) is always going to be there to get her out of it. 

I would cut off her credit cards, get her a debit card to her own little bank account in which there is money to spend as she wishes...and when that money is gone, she's done until the next time money is deposited in there (be it once a week, once a month, or once every three months or whatever). I would suggest making her responsible for making the payments on the debt, but if she's this irresponsible, I fear that all she'll do is try to ignore it and hope it goes away, leaving you/her in further trouble. 

Make her take a money management course. 

And if she continues to do this kind of thing...well, that's the point at which you decide if you want to continue living this way, with paying off increasing amounts of debt all the time and struggling to get her to grow up, or whether you want to admit defeat and move on, and hopefully find a partner that is more responsible with money.


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