# When did you take yours off?



## TooNice (Nov 26, 2013)

Your ring... that is. 

I'm having one of those days when I am home alone and my thoughts are everywhere. So, did you stop wearing your wedding ring once you told people you were going to divorce? Did you wait until the paperwork came through? 

What did you do with it after you stopped wearing it?


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## movealong (Aug 9, 2013)

I took it off last Saturday when she said "I want a divorce". I got the paperwork started on Wednesday and it will be filed Monday (tomorrow).


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## Diesel_Bomber (Mar 17, 2013)

Took mine off the day she said she wanted a divorce. The day it was final I threw it into a steel scrap dumpster as a symbol and release for me. I also burned everything she gave me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## myfutureisgone (Mar 4, 2014)

I took mine off the day I moved out. He said he chose his OW, I packed up and was out that night. Why wear a symbol of my commitment to someone who threw me away? I still have the callus.
I haven't decided what to do with them yet. They just sit in my jewel box.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SoVeryLost (May 14, 2012)

I would never wear my ring to the gym because my fingers always swell up when I lift and/or run. The night before I moved out I came home from the gym and noticed my ring was not on my dresser where I had left it. I confronted my ex and he denied knowing where it was. I was furious. Five minutes later he magically found it, but said he couldn't remember where. Ummmm...okay. I put it on so I made sure nothing else happened to it before I moved out the next morning. Never put it on again. I bought my engagement ring, my wedding band, and his wedding ring, though I didn't take his ring when I left. I still have my set but I'm not certain what to do with it yet. I had it appraised but didn't sell it. Thinking when I want to take a tropical vacation I'll use the proceeds to subsidize it.


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## Thjor (Feb 18, 2014)

I took mine off the day he left!


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

I don’t remember what day I took it off, just one day I took it off and never put it back on. I think its sitting in a drawer in my desk at work, not really sure. Nothing really symbolic about the day I took it off for me at all.


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## AFPhoenix (Dec 24, 2013)

I took mine off on Thanksgiving after we were trying to work things out but I caught her talking to her POSOM on Facebook. I will be throwing it into the Caribbean this summer.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Fenix (Jul 2, 2013)

Took mine off immediately after telling the children.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

The day we knew we were going to D.


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## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

I stopped wearing mine a good year before our first separation and never wore it again. That was in 2007. When we moved out of that house in January 2010 it got lost. I hate that I lost it even though I'll never wear it again. Heck at the very least with the prices of gold today I could've gotten several hundred dollars. I'm pretty sure I put it in a Girl Scout cookie box with the other things that were on my dresser and as you know, those boxes have a gap in the bottom of them so it must've fallen out.

Either that or my stbx took and has it hidden somewhere, which I don't think she'd do. She did pay for it though.

Oddly, she stopped wearing hers for awhile but now wears it again. I filed for divorce over a year ago. Denial?


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## Sammy64 (Oct 28, 2013)

I wore mine for the first week and never put it back on, that was 10 yrs ago...


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

I took mine off the day he moved out. He called the OW#1 to comfort her about her abusive ex who wouldn't pay child support. I knew we would never R. Last year I sold it to buy groceries for the kids.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

I took mine off the last time I tried to have a productive conversation with her. She ridiculed me for how I felt about what happened, blameshifted, and rationalized what she did was ok.


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## TooNice (Nov 26, 2013)

Thank you all so much for sharing your stories. I am at once moved and saddened and inspired by them.


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## Juicy (Nov 15, 2011)

I took mine off after he told me to leave the house and that he didn't love me or want our marriage anymore. 

After a few months when he tried to reconnect with me he gladly told me he had thrown his wedding ring in the bin. I still had kept mine hidden away.

Then only after nearly a year since we separated I threw my ring out of the car window when I was driving near his house...best feeling ever! Finally letting go of all his crap.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## firefairy (May 21, 2012)

I took mine of a little over 3months before we decided to split up.. because I was trying to make it well known that I was at the end of my rope and I needed change (on both of our parts) or I wanted a divorce. Him, he took his off on Sunday after we told our daughters that we were seperating. Seeing he took his off hurt. I guess i got to feel how I made him feel when I took mine off. :-/


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## Bluebirdie (Apr 26, 2014)

I used to keep mine in a safety box of the office I worked about 18 years ago. Then, after a while started asking for one set, but he said if I wanted to get one I could buy one. Was sad  But I did. So it was just me feeling it meant something. 

Anyways, took it away the day he left in Dec 2012.


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## TooNice (Nov 26, 2013)

I'm thinking I may talk to him about it today. We still have a couple of months of living together, so I was planning to keep it on for a bit, and he's still wearing his, too. But I'm really just getting sad lately. I see it in my finger and it no longer represents the beautiful thing it once did for me. I think I might be ready to take it off.


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## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

I always removed my rings for many reasons "weight lifting, shower, ect.." At some point I just stopped putting it back on as things when to hell. I still wore it occasionally for appearances. It is a non-traditional ring with other significance to me so I will probably switch it to my right hand after all this is over. The ring never was a big deal to me. On the other hand, the $10K ring I bought her? Yes I would like that but that is not going to happen.


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## TooNice (Nov 26, 2013)

That makes sense. We have this weird situation where there isn't a big trigger that is making me say it's time, until I realized this. If it's making me sad, I shouldn't wear it, just like if I had something to be mad about... I think.

So, I did talk to him, and I took it off. He took his off, too. 

I'm not having a very good day today.


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## helolover (Aug 24, 2012)

when I looked at it and realized it symbolized a farce. I threw it in a river. One man ceremony sans drama.


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## antechomai (Oct 4, 2013)

I think I kept it on for a few months after everything was final.
I used it as a deterrent, because I wasn't ready for any relationship and needed a quiet time.


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## Nikita2270 (Mar 22, 2014)

I never wore mine much in marriage but I stopped wearing it completely about 3 years before we separated. It just had no meaning to me.

I'm planning to recycle all my jewelery and have some new pieces made out of the old stuff.


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## antechomai (Oct 4, 2013)

Just a little side note.

My father in law had his taken off and put in his jewelery box after a stroke.
His wife died 13 years earlier.

Eldest daughter throws a nice wooded box in trash while cleaning the apartment, I pull it out. Hmm.
Six months later, where is dad's wedding ring?
In the box, with his Korean war ring and other odd coins.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

helolover said:


> when I looked at it and realized it symbolized a farce.


I don't wear roommate rings.


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## TooNice (Nov 26, 2013)

And so we take our rings off before attending a major social function together. Before we left, I was having a particularly emotional time. Before we got to the function, he wanted me to know that he does still love me through all of this and probably always will. Then at the event, was really very kind and loving and more demonstrative than he has been in years. 

WTH do I do with that? 

I am terribly torn right now. I don't want to tell him to stop being nice to me, but it's killing me that he apparently thinks I'm such a great person and is clearly still attracted to me on many levels...but I'm still not worthy of staying married to.

And all this, after we remove our wedding bands. 

I hate this.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I took mine off around the time he left me the 2nd time.

I haven't put it back on, nor have the desire, since. Even though we're trying to work on things.

He never wore his so I'm not concerned what he thinks of me not wearing mine.


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## defton519 (Jun 10, 2014)

I took mine off the day that she talked to the OM on the phone for an hour while I was in the house. After that I started to realize that it had no meaning anyway.


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## Funkykatz (Jun 17, 2014)

I took mine off when he told me he wanted a divorce.


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## movealong (Aug 9, 2013)

So similar, yet all so individual. Most of the posts have very few words, but speak volumes.


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## mishu143 (Jun 20, 2011)

I took mine off after our first separation in 2011. When we reconciled he didn't wear his but I wore mine. After a month or two of allowing him to continue doing it, I took mine off and now we are divorcing. Ring on/off since 2010. Been ring free since 2012


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

I took my ring off the day she admitted that she couldn't be bothered to even take it off while screwing the OM.

The ex tried to tell me that I was trying to hurt her by removing the ring from my finger. I said that if the ring is merely jewelry and means nothing, then there is no point to be wearing it.

I tossed it in the living-room and never saw it again. Divorce was finalized about two years after that.


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## Legalaff (May 31, 2014)

I took mine off the night he got arrested for domestic violence. And sold it two weeks later to buy groceries for his kids.


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## Matthias (Jul 16, 2014)

We're currently separated. She took hers off the day she got served, even though I withdrew my filing. They served her anyway. I haven't taken mine off because I am hoping that we can work on ourselves while separated and then continue to work on the marriage. When I try to take my ring off it just feels too weird. My finger seems to spasm. lol


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

2 years before after Dday1. I planned to put it on when things felt right again. They never did, then came Dday2.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

These are all sad stories but the ones where the ring is sold to buy groceries are the worst.


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## Legalaff (May 31, 2014)

clipclop2 said:


> These are all sad stories but the ones where the ring is sold to buy groceries are the worst.


Well we do have to feed the kids......he did not leave any money nor food for them, so that was the only choice.


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## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

When she left, I finally got my motorcycle.
I then discovered that the ring got in the way so I put it on a chain around my neck, like mecjanics do.
She saw it and insinuated that I was doing it for other reasons.
When she surprised me with divorce papers ( after we agreed we would talk about it before filing) I took it off and dropped it in a box that would later hold all of our wedding pictures.
It would come to be labelled "Old Life".


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## RachaelW (Aug 10, 2014)

I took mine off the day I asked him to leave the family home; the day he said our children were not his; the day I became certain that he had not stopped seeing the OW despite promises to the contrary; the day he lied to his children (while I was in the room and knew the truth) saying he was not having an affair (he moved in with her four weeks later).
I placed it and all other jewellery relating to our marriage in a container - to melt down and create something for the children.
He retained his wedding band as he 'liked it' - the inscription is: faith, friendship and fidelity.
I do not regret my actions regarding the ring and other jewellery but I find his behaviour about his ring bewildering / strange.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

Perhaps he just liked it but did not see it as a symbol of anything.


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## Jim455 (May 3, 2013)

Due to work/safety reasons, I couldn't wear mine regularly. But after realizing I had a serious problem 13 years into an (ultimately) 21 year marriage, I was wearing it less and less. Couldn't say the last time I wore it. It didn't have any meaning any more. When I filed this past April it was almost a non-event.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

I can't remember when I took it off but my wedding band and engagement ring are in the family safe. I will keep them for my children along with other family jewelry.

I am a bit odd in that I really like my engagement ring and would consider using it again when I get remarried. It is a one off that was made for me and is worth a packet of money. To this day I still love the design. Not sure how Mr H will react when I tell him I want to use my old engagement ring.


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Strange. l put my rimg on the kitchen window sill after she told meshe wanted to sep, And it sat right there for the next 18mths. She'd fkd off , l'm living in our home alone , and there's this ring, that whole time.
You know ,you don't go on waring the ring when she's seeing another man do you, forget it.
Until we finally sold the house and l moved out , l use to see it everyday , 10x a day actually. l was often surprised that l never really even thought that much if l did notice it there.
But l was thinking the whole time on what to do with it. Thought of lots of things , like throwing it into the ocean.
But ex planted this Yukka , right near out front door . l use to see that fkg Yukka 10x a day too.
The house got sold and l was packing up , and finally l knew what to do with that damn ring. l made a deep whole under that Yukka , and dropped that ring in and filled it in, 
I basically stuffed that ring up her Yukkas ass really . l thought that was a pretty good outcome actually :rofl:


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## White.Rabbit (Feb 24, 2014)

The last week I spent with my ex I'd one insult too many and didn't want him touching me sexually any more. My rings came off before I left the house and my Mum has them for safekeeping, because they were causing too much of an upset in amongst my things. 

I'm on a promise for new ones from my new partner as soon as both our divorces are settled.


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## delirium (Apr 23, 2012)

I took my ring off a few days ago when he told me he's not coming back and to move on with my life. He hasn't lived here in awhile, so I probably kept wearing it for too long. 

It's on a shelf in my closet for now. I really don't know what to do with it.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

highly disappointed that there is no stripping in the thread, title is very misleading


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## brokenflowers08 (Sep 11, 2014)

Took off my ring when he took his off. When he said he was planning on moving into his own place and wanted to separate, I just didn't feel right wearing something that was supposed to symbolize our devotion to each other.


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