# Anyone struggling with images and emotions all over the place?



## beachbabe (May 11, 2012)

I think I'm screwed....I went through every emotion there was in the last 6 hours...really angry, tears, happy, relief (that it's finally out there) angry all over again...followed by tears again:scratchhead: 
I don't think I can take much more....I though pms was bad! 
Oh, and the images!!! WTF....HOW on earth do you tame those down!!! I think I'm actually going crazy with that...What can I do???????

(My story is my husband was sexting an ex girlfriend from when he was 17 and we've gone through some steps to try and heal the situation. I found out last week, but in my heart I knew longer)


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

You can feel. I know that doesn't feel like a gift right now at all, but it is. And you need to get all this out. It's okay.

If you still feel like this in six months, it's not okay, but for now? This is what you need to be doing. You are processing all that grief, and that's completely normal. Hang in there!


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

It's hard. It's been two months since I discovered my husband's EA, and it was only in the beginning stages of switching over from friendship to more. He still maintains it was just friends, but acknowledges that SHE had feelings, tho I had to point it all out to him. He maintains "just because she felt that way doesn't mean I'd succumb" mentality. But, he did at one point text her that he was starting to feel more than friendship for her, but then I stepped up and gave him what he was missing. The point is, I get those flashes once in awhile too. I never contacted her fiance, but wish I had. I still wish I had a way to do so. But hubby and I are working on things. He gets upset when I bring it up, but I don't back down when he defends the "friendship". I know it will get easier in time. It's better today than it was two months ago. Just let yourself feel. Let yourself get angry. Don't let anyone tell you to get over it. You go thru your OWN grieving process, no one else has the right to tell you how you should feel at any given time.


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## Numb in Ohio (Oct 31, 2011)

lamaga said:


> *If you still feel like this in six months, it's not okay,* but for now? This is what you need to be doing. You are processing all that grief, and that's completely normal. Hang in there!



What if it's been 8 months and we are still separated and fight more than ever.. doesn't sound hopeful for us?.... My emotions are sometimes just as fresh as when I found out...and my gut stays wrenched every day.. feeling like there is more to the story and he's lying about everything...

Sometimes I feel like I'm just obsessing and can't let go,,,but I guess I'm following my gut..


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## beachbabe (May 11, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> It's hard. It's been two months since I discovered my husband's EA, and it was only in the beginning stages of switching over from friendship to more. He still maintains it was just friends, but acknowledges that SHE had feelings, tho I had to point it all out to him. He maintains "just because she felt that way doesn't mean I'd succumb" mentality. But, he did at one point text her that he was starting to feel more than friendship for her, but then I stepped up and gave him what he was missing. The point is, I get those flashes once in awhile too. I never contacted her fiance, but wish I had. I still wish I had a way to do so. But hubby and I are working on things. He gets upset when I bring it up, but I don't back down when he defends the "friendship". I know it will get easier in time. It's better today than it was two months ago. Just let yourself feel. Let yourself get angry. Don't let anyone tell you to get over it. You go thru your OWN grieving process, no one else has the right to tell you how you should feel at any given time.


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## beachbabe (May 11, 2012)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## beachbabe (May 11, 2012)

Wow...I'm in trouble aren't I...my husband is really trying and tells me she was nothing(gees, kinda makes me feel sorry her..I mean to write her off like that..I mean what does that say about him???) I know that they exchanged pictures of eachothers junk...who the flip does that??? While I was downstairs trying to do homeschooling university!!! She has left him alone and I guess more importantly, he's left her alone(spy ware so I know!) But I find I'm really depressed or seriously mad. All I want to do is get even!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Zippy the chimp (May 15, 2012)

Been a month and a half since I found out the start of it 12 days since I found out all of it(I'm pretty sure) It sometimes comes over you like a wave at the beach you get overwhelmed pretty easy. Give it time see what happens


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

beachbabe said:


> Wow...I'm in trouble aren't I...my husband is really trying and tells me she was nothing(gees, kinda makes me feel sorry her..I mean to write her off like that..I mean what does that say about him???) I know that they exchanged pictures of eachothers junk...who the flip does that??? While I was downstairs trying to do homeschooling university!!! She has left him alone and I guess more importantly, he's left her alone(spy ware so I know!) But I find I'm really depressed or seriously mad. All I want to do is get even!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


See, IDK if he ever sent her pics below the belt. I suspect he did. But he says he never did. I have to trust that he's telling me the truth. I can't prove either way. And, if I want things to work with him, I need to believe he's not lying. Believe me, I have days I wish I could fly to the state she lives in and scratch her eyes out. But then, I have days when it doesn't bother me. He gets mad because it stays on my mind, but too damn bad! There's a lot more involved, as I was guilty of the same thing before he was. I wish it all had never happened. But, he had two years to process my EA. He wants me to get over it before 2 months? F that! But, I love him. and I know the circumstances that led to what I did and to what he did. Not excusing either of us, but knowing what did it, I can prevent it from happening again. And I have been taking the steps necessary for that. Fortunately, when I told him "her or me"... he chose me. A 12 year marriage meant more than a 4 year friendship with an opportunist.


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## beachbabe (May 11, 2012)

Your right about an opportunist!! Apparently she send her naked pictures to many guys!! And she fat and short...kinda pisses me off cause I'm tall and workout hard to look good...guess that it really doesn't matter as long as you want sex... Which I always gave him! I know I sound bitter...kinda am!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

All the time. Not my ex but my bio family and stuff. My meds help, I can remember stuff and have an emotion about it but it just kind of sits there so I can look at it more rationally while I go about my life without being bothered too much. Then there's the movies. Better images. It's a nice escape, like a little vacation. I also like to do things that take some focus, and also contribute a little bit to improving the nuts and bolts of life...baking, cleaning something that needs cleaning, organizing something that needs organizing, mending stuff...not huge jobs but just short ones. There's always going to be something in life that riles one up either negatively or positively. Learning to get a handle on it is in one's best interest. So I'm making a huge effort. Inidividual therapy, reading up on anger and identifying emotions behind anger, understanding triggers, etc. It's difficult when something bad happens where you live. I think that's why some people choose to be homeless, the domestic scene is just too heavy for them. Anyway, stick with it and know that even though the specifics might be unique, your experience is entirely human and you can get through it.


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## Zippy the chimp (May 15, 2012)

Got a great one today we were out look at one of her tattoos and it triggered some mind movies, I got up and walked away for awhile, later on when we got home I said I'm sorry I got overwhelmed, of course she said it was all right because she expects this to happen. After a bit I thought I am a stupid ****, I didn't make those things go on in my head she did its is her fault why the hell did apologize.


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