# Do you get sore?



## shy_guy (Jan 25, 2012)

I have a question of the ladies. I'm always learning, and would like it if you would help me understand.

My wife is always sore the day after we make love. This is not a problem to me, but is a concern I have for her. I am satisfied, and even if I wasn't satisfied, I would have less than 0% chance of enjoying anything if I thought it hurt her. She never complains about it - in fact she talks about how good she thinks our lovemaking is - she just lets me know that she is too sore to make love on consecutive days.

Reading here, I saw one lady who hinted that she got sore without saying it explicitly. However; I read others who say they engage in sex almost every day, and some who engage in sex multiple times in a day, then again the following day.

I wonder if my wife's cause of soreness may be how she needs to orgasm. She almost always orgasms at least twice, and most times orgasms 4 or 5 times when we make love - the last one coming immediately after I orgasm. However; I cannot make her orgasm just by the normal motion I have with sex. She's taught me how I need to help her, so when she signals me she is ready, I stop any motion, press myself as deep into her as possible with my body as firm against her as I can hold it. Holding myself against her firmly and passionately is necessary (Unless she's in a position where she has to hold herself firmly against me). She then thrusts against me, but from her position, it is a back and forth motion in our contact areas rather than an in and out motion. There is no friction between our skin as it stays tightly together, but she moves her hips very strongly to finish building to orgasm.

She tells me this doesn't hurt, and tells me it is necessary for her to build to climax. It may also be relevant that when making love, sometimes I provide most of the motion, and sometimes she provides it - we signal each other when we want/need to provide that for a while and work very well together on that.

I'm curious to hear if it is normal to be sore after sex. If you're not normally sore, do you do like what I'm describing? If you do like what I'm describing, are you normally sore? If you sometimes do, and sometimes don't, I'm very interested to know if that motion makes you sore and others do not.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

There are different kinds of sore.

Based upon your description, are you suggesting that she has more muscle soreness? If so, that could simply be from the intense grinding she is doing against you.

How old is she? What kind of physical condition is she in?

Or ... is the soreness more inside of her - such as where her cervis is? If so, it could be because it is being bumped by you when you thrust so fully inside.

Or ... is the soreness at the opening of her vagina? If so, it could be that she doesn't have quite enough lubrication.

I've had all of those kinds of soreness at one time or another. If I have multiples, my leg and ab muscles will sometimes be sore the next day from clenching them. Makes me feel like a wimp. 

Sometimes if we are very vigorous, especially if it's from behind, I can tell that my cervis is getting bumped and it will get sore.

And, now that I'm in my upper 40's, I don't have as much natural lubrication, and we have to use additional lube. Without it, I would be very sore indeed.

In probably a weird way, I kind of look on the soreness with fondness - as it is a very pleasant reminder the next day of what occurred the night
before. 

And anything that doesn't seem quite right - she should go to the ob/gyn and get checked. I had an 'ache', more than a soreness' in my lower abdomen and it would be worse after vigorous sex and radiate up through my back. Turned out I had a large uterine fibroid, which I ended up having removed.

Best wishes.


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## shy_guy (Jan 25, 2012)

Enchantment said:


> There are different kinds of sore.
> 
> Based upon your description, are you suggesting that she has more muscle soreness? If so, that could simply be from the intense grinding she is doing against you.
> 
> ...


Thank you very much for commenting.

We are in our upper 40s and are both in very good physical condition. The language she uses tells me it is vaginal, but I don't know if it is near the opening or deep inside - I need to ask her that. I'm very sensitive about amount of lube because I would associate dryness with hurting her, and like I said, I absolutely cannot hurt her.

That's very good insight. Thank you so much.


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## bossesgirl26 (Jun 19, 2011)

My soreness is like an ache. Sometimes I have to soak in tub for relief. But my husband is a deep penetrator and does it pretty hard. sorry for tmi.


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## shy_guy (Jan 25, 2012)

bossesgirl26 said:


> My soreness is like an ache. Sometimes I have to soak in tub for relief. But my husband is a deep penetrator and does it pretty hard. sorry for tmi.


Don't apologize. Believe me, it's information we are looking for and you ladies who are willing to share are the only source of first-hand information we have. It's exactly the kind of thing we're looking for when we ask these kinds of questions.

If you don't mind me asking more, is your soreness deep? Like possibly your cervix?

(I've discussed this a lot more with my wife since I posted the question, so I have a much better explanation of where her soreness is, and Enchantment seems to have nailed our situation: It is both deep and near the opening, but she also has a fondness for the soreness.)


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

Guy here.
My wife will get sore after 2-3 days if we make love every day. She has never told me exactly what part of the vagina is sore, but attributes it to me just being slightly on the large side.
This started in her early 40's.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

^
DanF mentioned about his wife's age, and soreness starting in her forties.

This would not be so uncommon, because as women age and start to go through hormonal imbalance in their late thirties and through their forties, on their way to hormone deficit in menopause, the vagina thins and loses some of its elasticity - which can also contribute to additional soreness.

So sometimes things that did not make you sore before - can start to make you sore then.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Only after sex marathons... as in several times a day over a few days when we go away for a 'dirty weekend'.
I get sore at the entrance( there isn't TMI on this site really is there???)

The lube you use is it a specifically 'for sex lube' or some other kind of oil?

If she gets sore inside and high up it could be her cervix. This can be lower down in some women but I'm sure she would notice that during deep penetration... it would probably make her say OUCH! But your W is sore afterwards so I doubt it's cervix....could be wrong though. I was once!


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Once, but we were going at it everyday for several days without a break. It was deeper inside. We always use lube regardless. I personally like it myself.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bossesgirl26 (Jun 19, 2011)

@shy guy

Yes it is very deep. My husband and I have sex daily. Sometimes I put some lubricant/moisturizer stuff on there at night after I shower. Which is usually just before we have sex. I take my nightly shower, shave, moisturize my girlie and get in bed. I don't dare complain. My husband would not like that. He would take that as me being disrespectful.Now don't get me wrong, it is one thing to be sore, but if I were truly hurting alot in tons of pain he would want to know. Also, sorry for TMI, but if he does me in the butt, it sometimes burns. I get anal usually once per week. It is my husbands Sunday night thing. I get butt pounding and spanking. Which don't think he is an abuser. It is just the type of marriage we agreed on. He is the boss, head of house. I get disciplined if I don't do my chores, responsibilities, get mouthy, etc. But my husband also spoils me rotten and gives me tons of love and tlc. He is an excellent provider, husband and daddy. He just has certain standards and expectations. Sorry for rambling.


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## shy_guy (Jan 25, 2012)

Enchantment said:


> ^
> DanF mentioned about his wife's age, and soreness starting in her forties.
> 
> This would not be so uncommon, because as women age and start to go through hormonal imbalance in their late thirties and through their forties, on their way to hormone deficit in menopause, the vagina thins and loses some of its elasticity - which can also contribute to additional soreness.
> ...



Thank you for that. It is a good thing to think about. I can't remember when she started saying she got sore, or if it has always been ... seems a shame that I can't remember that. It's something I'll think about.






waiwera said:


> Only after sex marathons... as in several times a day over a few days when we go away for a 'dirty weekend'.
> I get sore at the entrance( there isn't TMI on this site really is there???)


If there is a TMI rule here, I'm going to get banned as soon as the admins discover me . Really, I appreciate what you guys are willing to tell me. I do learn, and this is important to me ... especially learning how much soreness and where that others may experience.



waiwera said:


> The lube you use is it a specifically 'for sex lube' or some other kind of oil?
> 
> If she gets sore inside and high up it could be her cervix. This can be lower down in some women but I'm sure she would notice that during deep penetration... it would probably make her say OUCH! But your W is sore afterwards so I doubt it's cervix....could be wrong though. I was once!


We've actually never used any lube other than my wife's natural lube. She's always had a lot of lube, but as I'm reading here, I'm thinking maybe we need to explore that, especially considering our ages. Do you have a recommendation? Especially, do you have a recommendation that isn't flavored, and doesn't taste bad? (I love her natural smells and tastes and don't really want to change that if it is possible to avoid it).

When she does what I described above to start building to orgasm, I do touch bottom. There's a slight pocket there that I settle into when she starts. She's so passionate and strong during that buildup ... I'll have to ask her again to clarify for me. I don't think I bump her during my motion (need to ask again), but I'm sure I get to the bottom when she wants to orgasm.





I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> Once, but we were going at it everyday for several days without a break. It was deeper inside. We always use lube regardless. I personally like it myself.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


If my wife had been the only one who told me that she had a fondness for the soreness, I would have thought she was just trying to be nice and not discourage me. When Enchantment said the same thing, and now when you say that, I'm learning something again. Thank you for sharing it with me. And lube again ... I will explore it.






bossesgirl26 said:


> @shy guy
> 
> Yes it is very deep. My husband and I have sex daily. Sometimes I put some lubricant/moisturizer stuff on there at night after I shower. Which is usually just before we have sex. I take my nightly shower, shave, moisturize my girlie and get in bed. I don't dare complain. My husband would not like that. He would take that as me being disrespectful.Now don't get me wrong, it is one thing to be sore, but if I were truly hurting alot in tons of pain he would want to know. Also, sorry for TMI, but if he does me in the butt, it sometimes burns. I get anal usually once per week. It is my husbands Sunday night thing. I get butt pounding and spanking. Which don't think he is an abuser. It is just the type of marriage we agreed on. He is the boss, head of house. I get disciplined if I don't do my chores, responsibilities, get mouthy, etc. But my husband also spoils me rotten and gives me tons of love and tlc. He is an excellent provider, husband and daddy. He just has certain standards and expectations. Sorry for rambling.


Again, not TMI, and no need to apologize. I appreciate the sharing, I really do. So it does sound like you have some soreness pretty regularly, just not enough to prevent you from going again, am I right?


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## bossesgirl26 (Jun 19, 2011)

@shy guy:

If we are on a heavy spell of 2x daily or doing it doggy style alot, yes I get sore. Mainly it is just not like sore, I trying to think how to describe it. Just worn, that sounds silly. But I guess what I am saying is I have to make sure I keep it really lubricated. My husband is very large and likes to do it hard and deep. And sometimes when he comes home from work, it is late, we are both tired and not alot of foreplay. So I keep kyjelly by bed. If I am really sore I will tell him I am too sore to take it. Then I am on my knees or I get it in the butt. If he gets on an anal kick, watch out. It can really get painful. But he will stop if I am hurting or I tell him to stop. He is aggressive,but not mean and insensitive. He is just very sexual, very Alpha Male, very much a Taurus! He got me this anal cooling gel too. What is really painful is getting pounded in butt, and having butt smacked alot or belt spanking with butt sex. OMG. Talk about pain and not being able to sit pain free for about four days. Belt is worst,well I don't know. He can smack pretty hard too. Thankfully I don't get belt spanked very much. ugh


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## anna garret 01 (Jan 22, 2012)

bossesgirl26 said:


> @shy guy
> 
> Yes it is very deep. My husband and I have sex daily. Sometimes I put some lubricant/moisturizer stuff on there at night after I shower. Which is usually just before we have sex. I take my nightly shower, shave, moisturize my girlie and get in bed. I don't dare complain. My husband would not like that. He would take that as me being disrespectful.Now don't get me wrong, it is one thing to be sore, but if I were truly hurting alot in tons of pain he would want to know. Also, sorry for TMI, but if he does me in the butt, it sometimes burns. I get anal usually once per week. It is my husbands Sunday night thing. I get butt pounding and spanking. Which don't think he is an abuser. It is just the type of marriage we agreed on. He is the boss, head of house. I get disciplined if I don't do my chores, responsibilities, get mouthy, etc. But my husband also spoils me rotten and gives me tons of love and tlc. He is an excellent provider, husband and daddy. He just has certain standards and expectations. Sorry for rambling.


]

You know what, I finally figured you out. You are crying out for attention.... if your husband was so evil, as you make him out to be, with orders, ass sex, daily sex no matter what, butt pounding, spanking,etc. WTF you and you alone allow him to do this...JUST SAY NO 

And there are two sides two every story .........no pity for u...


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## anna garret 01 (Jan 22, 2012)

Yes sometimes I do get sore, if we are doing it a lot and he has been eating me too. Soreness really isn't an issue in a healthy marriage...


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## anna garret 01 (Jan 22, 2012)

bossesgirl26 said:


> @shy guy:
> 
> If we are on a heavy spell of 2x daily or doing it doggy style alot, yes i get sore. Mainly it is just not like sore, i trying to think how to describe it. Just worn, that sounds silly. But i guess what i am saying is i have to make sure i keep it really lubricated. My husband is very large and likes to do it hard and deep. And sometimes when he comes home from work, it is late, we are both tired and not alot of foreplay. So i keep kyjelly by bed. If i am really sore i will tell him i am too sore to take it. Then i am on my knees or i get it in the butt. If he gets on an anal kick, watch out. It can really get painful. But he will stop if i am hurting or i tell him to stop. He is aggressive,but not mean and insensitive. He is just very sexual, very alpha male, very much a taurus! He got me this anal cooling gel too. What is really painful is getting pounded in butt, and having butt smacked alot or belt spanking with butt sex. Omg. Talk about pain and not being able to sit pain free for about four days. Belt is worst,well i don't know. He can smack pretty hard too. Thankfully i don't get belt spanked very much. Ugh


tell him noooooo


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## bossesgirl26 (Jun 19, 2011)

I think you have taken me the wrong way. I am not complaining. I just wrote a very nice response to you on another post. I was bragging about my husband. He is the best husband ever. I can say no to him. Wow. I by no means think he is evil. He is a very loving, sexual, caring and hardworking man.


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## bossesgirl26 (Jun 19, 2011)

I am still in shock. I do not want pity. Many of my girlfriends are envious of my husband and marriage. They know how happy we are. I even said on this posting about how much he adores me, spoils me and takes good care of me.


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## anna garret 01 (Jan 22, 2012)

bossesgirl26 said:


> I am still in shock. I do not want pity. Many of my girlfriends are envious of my husband and marriage. They know how happy we are. I even said on this posting about how much he adores me, spoils me and takes good care of me.


I am sorry then, really and truly sorry, I just must not understand your relationship with the belt spanking and not being able to sit for FOUR days that threw me for a loop...Honey if you are happy that is all that matters, it's just worrisome that you share so much of the hurt..I know we don't know each other at all but are you able to tell him no, not today I still hurt? He sounds like a great guy and so do you but if he loves you dearly he wouldn't hurt so much, that you can't sit for four days...that's not love but control....I know my beloved would never hurt me that bad......be careful.......please accept my apologies...


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## Diolay (Jan 25, 2012)

Belt spanking! Not sitting for 4 days...

Is it just me or does anyone else find this some what bizarre....

Most societies I would have thought would call this kind of behaviour assult with intent...

Isn't your hubby a cop???


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## Diolay (Jan 25, 2012)

Sorry, I'm have been reading but really having trouble wrapping my head around this one...


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## bossesgirl26 (Jun 19, 2011)

guess you can't post on here without being judged. my husband and i have a domestic discipline marriage, by choice. he is the leader of our home, the alpha male, the disciplinarian, we BOTH have very defined roles and expectations, he does expect certain things and behaviors of me. But I AGREED to this. He loves me, spoils me, gives me lots of TLC and takes good care of our family. and yes he is a cop, very proud of him.


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

bossesgirl26 said:


> guess you can't post on here without being judged. my husband and i have a domestic discipline marriage, by choice. he is the leader of our home, the alpha male, the disciplinarian, we BOTH have very defined roles and expectations, he does expect certain things and behaviors of me. But I AGREED to this. He loves me, spoils me, gives me lots of TLC and takes good care of our family. and yes he is a cop, very proud of him.


Hey, if you're happy, then don't worry about anyone else. I don't think people were meaning to judge you, but admit, you did come along out of the blue and laid out your whole sex life and dominant/submissive roles and are happy with it. That's kind of a lot to swallow at once, especially by some of the women here who have been drug through the mud by abusive men.
When I read your first post, I thought, 'Here is some 18 year old boy troll looking to get a laugh with his buddies."
Since you have responded to a number of threads, I think that you're for real.
Be patient, we really are a great group, but we have also had a lot of troll problems recently.


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## Diolay (Jan 25, 2012)

:iagree::iagree::iagree:


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## lovemylife (Feb 13, 2012)

I have engaged in similar actions as what you are describing. This can cause some irritation to the labia from the friction. Not sure if this is what your wife is experiencing, but I have experienced a little tenderness at times from this particular action.

We use coconut oil for lubrication. It is all natural, smells and tastes great, absorbed by the skin and very healthy as well. A jar of coconut oil stay on our headboard.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

bossesgirl26 said:


> guess you can't post on here without being judged. my husband and i have a domestic discipline marriage, by choice. he is the leader of our home, the alpha male, the disciplinarian, we BOTH have very defined roles and expectations, he does expect certain things and behaviors of me. But I AGREED to this. He loves me, spoils me, gives me lots of TLC and takes good care of our family. and yes he is a cop, very proud of him.


I'm confused. In one post you wrote that he is an amazing husband and father, yet in another you stated that he is a serial cheater who left you and your children, saying he didn'tlove you. Yelled at your kids that he might not ever come back and blamed your weight for his cheating. In another post he is a fit firefighter yet later he is a 285 lb police officer. In one post he is 6'5", in another he is 6'4". Other post he has 4 children and others 3. Any chance you in a poly marriage? :scratchhead:


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## shy_guy (Jan 25, 2012)

lovemylife said:


> I have engaged in similar actions as what you are describing. This can cause some irritation to the labia from the friction. Not sure if this is what your wife is experiencing, but I have experienced a little tenderness at times from this particular action.
> 
> We use coconut oil for lubrication. It is all natural, smells and tastes great, absorbed by the skin and very healthy as well. A jar of coconut oil stay on our headboard.


Thank you for the info. I have just gotten the idea for the coconut oil, although what I bought doesn't seem to have any scent. 

It looks like I'll have to learn to apply it as it is solid in the jar, but does melt at skin temperature. No problem ... Learning can be a pleasant thing. She seems happy that I want to try to address it, and learning is always a pleasant thing. 

Thank you very much for sharing.


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## lovemylife (Feb 13, 2012)

You're welcome shy guy. I thought about it last night that I should add that it is a solid under 78 degrees. It melts really quickly though against the skin. The cool temperature is actually a nice part of foreplay in my opinion any way.

I purchase mine at a natural food grocery store. It is organic and has a light flavor and nice scent.

I think it is great that you and your wife are open to learning and exploring new options.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I keep meaning to post in this thread, but haven't... My GF will get sore if I'm at the wrong angle; she thinks it's small tears. This is usually more of a problem if we haven't had intercourse for while, like a week or more. We don't think it's a problem with lubrication; a waterproof blanket was our first piece of communal property... But I realize natural lube may not be as effective as artificial. It's just easier to adjust my body up a bit, though.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## shy_guy (Jan 25, 2012)

Thank you to those who posted. Follow up: We have begun using the coconut oil. What I got (Organic coconut oil) doesn't really have a smell, so it doesn't interfere with her natural smells and tastes, and I'm really happy about that. She was actually more comfortable and told me she doesn't have nearly the soreness that she did without it. Like lovemylife said, applying it is a pretty nice addition to foreplay.

This was a nice thing to learn, and one I don't think we would have figured out on our own, especially since we were thinking everything else as a cause, and with me not even sure if it was normal or just us.

Thank you.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Yep I do feel sore afterwards. Not that I remember really since it's been awhile.


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## effess (Nov 20, 2009)

My wife complains of soreness. It generally comes from two different ways - 
1 - after sex and she cannot do it for few days after (every great once in awhile it might happen two days in a row) 
2 -or if we've been going at it too long, she'll tell me that she wants to finish soon, cause she's getting sore from over-stimulation/use. 

It seems to be more pronounced if we've gone a long stretch in between sex (which is fairly often these days). Earlier in our marriage, sex on consecutive days wasn't an issue, but she's getting closer to 40, so I assume it has to do with that. 

So I believe your wife isn't alone in this. Obviously I would advise to go see a medical professional - but I suspect that some women aren't as durable as others.


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