# Advice Please



## 38divorcing (Sep 23, 2013)

Married 11years, 3 kids ages 3, 6, 11 (wife falls out of love and emotional abuse when i find out she is leaving)
July 2012 - my wife leaves and starts a divorce, for 7 months i try to change and do my best by the kids, 
Jan 2013 - 5 days before absolute, we get back together and spend 4 months happy, put an offer on anew house , go on holiday twice and the kids made up..,. I then find out she hasn't told most ppl , when i ask about it she calls it all off again and says im trying to controller her.
Since, we dont talk, I dont get to see the kids
Sept 2013 - she starts the divorce again

I still love her and I have joined a prevention programme to stop abuse

Can anyone advise?


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## Zomb (Aug 12, 2013)

Do the 180, let her go and find a lawyer because you have the right to see your kids. As I can interpret from your post you were not really detached when you both came back together. I think that was a mistake that you cannot repeat again if you want to save your marriage. If you want to have a successful reconciliation you need to be in control of yourself (no matter what she does or how she treats you), otherwise: a) she will have all the power on how things progress 2) you cannot become attractive to her again. Until she brings reconciliation back to the table, act cool, calm and collected all the time. Act as if you don’t mind whether she continue with divorce or not. Don’t call her, or write her unless is business related. But every time she contacts you size the opportunity to make her think you are happy and cool guy and that actually you are moving on with your life. Finally, read all the TAM content you can. This site is a lifesaver.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

Get a lawyer for visitation. Do not go to her house and demand. One call to the police and your in trouble.

I had to go through the same thing. Ex W used the kid as a weapon and when I went down to get my daughter, she called the police. Cop called m over to his car and told me that he has seen this before and nothing good comes from it. He said go through the courts. He also said that if I come back, he will have no choice but to arrest me and asked me if that's what my daughter wants to see her dad being cuffed and put in the back of the police car. Do it through legal channels please.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How long has it been that you are not seeing your children? If you did nothing to ensure that you get to see them, then you cannot blame her.

See an attorney and get a custody/time-share plan in place. If you want time with your children, it's your job to make sure you get time with them.


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