# Help- husband having sex outside marriage



## Judy Dowwin (May 15, 2017)

I don't know what to do. I am married to a man that I am pretty sure has a sexual addiction but some men may read this and say he is just normal.
We have been together 10 years and I never said no to sex and I am an attractive women in pretty good shape for my age. We are over 50 and it was starting to seem that his sex drive was decreasing but I just found out that he cheated again. He works a physically demanding job and comes home tired quite often or with back pain or in general not feeling well. This is a real thing, I am absolutely certain he is not faking feeling bad. As a result we usually only end up having sex once a week. For our age and circumstances, I don't think that is bad. I would be willing and interested in more but I wait until I know he feels up it. I am not describing an old man, he still looks good and is in good health generally. He is very active with hobbies,etc. So, he looks at all kinds of porn frequently. I found out that we was with a woman a couple of times about five years by finding pictures on his computer, but they were two years old. I still about died. She looked like a hooker type. He claimed she was not and that she just liked doing it, only blow job, no emotional relationship and it was only 2 times. I decided to forgive, hard to forget but we went forward. Then I found more pictures two years after that of a woman in a remote location that we visit and he sometimes goes to by himself. He claimed it was a one time thing. He is addicted to talking pictures, and yes, sometimes takes pictures of us, a lot in the beginning of our relationship. I ended things, made he move out but ended up getting back together 6 months later. He told everyone, I really messed up, learned my lesson., will never happen again. So, this week, two years after he has moved back in, I find pictures in his phone... very explicit. He said he met her at a convenience store, followed her to a friends house and got a blow job. I told him it is over, the final straw. He said it was only a blow job and that he loves me and our life together so much. He is a good man in every other way, in fact, people are always complimenting him and telling me I am lucky to have him! I hate to end things at our age and after 10 years. He is beside himself upset by I can't live like this with my trust and he has proven to be a liar. He said he will go to a counselor for sex addiction. He hasn't gotten into any emotional attachments, only sexual acts. Everything else is so good but going home with a hooker from a convenience store in the middle of the day is awful.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I'm sorry, but now you know how he behaves. I think its very unlikely you can keep him from cheating. You can't trust what he says, and you've already caught him several times, so catching him again won't make him stop. 

To me, exactly what he is doing when he is cheating, or who he is doing it with really don't matter. 

People are telling you that you are lucky because they don't know how he is behaving. Being a good man in other ways isn't enough. 

What to do now is up to you. Most people would leave in this situation.


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## Judy Dowwin (May 15, 2017)

Thank you. I really appreciate that you took the time to write this and I know you are right. This really helped me.


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## Judy Dowwin (May 15, 2017)

Thank you for taking the time to write this. It really helps to hear back what I believe to be true.


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