# errrrrrrrrrrrrrr



## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

So...i was just informed that i am not sexy, but i look good!!!

GTFO!!!!!!!!!!!

im so disgusted right now.


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## HopelesslyJaded (Aug 14, 2012)

This sounds like a conversation I had at the gym one day with one of the male members. He was telling me that pretty doesn't always mean sexy and he used his wife as an example!

He said he thought his wife was one of the most beautiful women he knew but that her friend so and so was sexy.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Well, if it wasn't your husband or SO who said this, why should you care? Do you think you're sexy? Do you feel sexy? Are you treated sexy by your man?

Then who cares what others think.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

says who bk? your H? maybe you need to wrestle him until one of you submits, then ask him if he thinks you are not sexy.


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

Beautiful and sexy are not the same. You're having problems with that notion?


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

HopelesslyJaded said:


> This sounds like a conversation I had at the gym one day with one of the male members. He was telling me that pretty doesn't always mean sexy and he used his wife as an example!
> 
> He said he thought his wife was one of the most beautiful women he knew but that her friend so and so was sexy.


Sounds like his wife oughtta slap him upside the head!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

costa200 said:


> Beautiful and sexy are not the same. You're having problems with that notion?


But they can be with some cases! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## HopelesslyJaded (Aug 14, 2012)

Gaia said:


> Sounds like his wife oughtta slap him upside the head!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


She would have to know he said it.

This is just one of the several things he's said in the last few months that I am positive his wife would not like.


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

Gaia said:


> But they can be with some cases!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yes they can and often are. But it's really two different scales.


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## HopelesslyJaded (Aug 14, 2012)

costa200 said:


> Yes they can and often are. But it's really two different scales.


I would be curious to see if you could produce an example of beautiful but not sexy. Can you find a pic of one?


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

I asked my husband what the difference is between cute, sexy and beautiful.

His response: "A cute woman is attractive in a very sweet way that makes you want to snuggle her. A sexy woman makes you want to take her to bed immediately and a beautiful woman is hard to take your eyes off of because she is so gorgeous. You are ALL three, my love. On our wedding day, I was in tears because you were so beautiful. When I watch you sleep before I go to work, you are very cute. You are sexy when I come home and you are in lingerie with heels."

:smthumbup: Awww...


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

HopelesslyJaded said:


> I would be curious to see if you could produce an example of beautiful but not sexy. Can you find a pic of one?


Sandra Oh?

Also as witnessed in the olympic games, many of the female athletes were certainly not sexy, though pretty much all were exceptional physical specimens.

that is a tough question though, since both are subjective... I agree they are 2 different things.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

bkaydezz said:


> So...i was just informed that i am not sexy, but i look good!!!
> 
> GTFO!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> im so disgusted right now.


What's sexy and looks good is up to interpretation. If you feel sexy within yourself, you won't seek the validation. Easier said than done, as most of us like to feel sexually desired and accepted. But not needing the validation is sexy within itself *head explodes*

Why are you disgusted?

And also, who said this to you, what was the context? Any chance they're goading you into "I'll show them how sexy I can be!" lol, because it seems the comment really got to you. Be aware of who's validation you're seeking.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

I think it comes down to a ... "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" sort of thing... same goes for cute and sexy.... 


Btw... love your h's POV firstyear!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

To me, sexy is less about appearance and more about having presence. It's related to body language, the way one carries themselves and how they naturally engage. Presence.

I'd imagine pheromones play a part too.


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

that_girl said:


> Well, if it wasn't your husband or SO who said this, why should you care? Do you think you're sexy? Do you feel sexy? Are you treated sexy by your man?
> 
> Then who cares what others think.


it was my bf. and no he doesnt make me feel sexy. 
he used to. but apparently there isnt anthing good about me anymore.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Well, break up with him.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

FrenchFry said:


> I've asked what is the difference many many times!
> 
> I think sexy is something that is materially attainable. Paint on the smoky eyes and the dramatic lips, bust out the lace wonderbra and the tiny dress with the giant heels, big (fake) hair and fake eyelashes and I think most women can do "sexy" to at least some degree.


I think that's why these things are up to interpretation. As my guy wouldn't find that image of 'sexy' to be sexy. 

I've always felt _being_ sexy is more about presence than looking sexy. Sure, there are features that look sexy (based on one's preferences) but even then, I don't think that necessarily means the person comes across as being sexy.


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

that_girl said:


> Well, break up with him.


im really considering it.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

So burping after I scratch my butt isn't sexy? dangit.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

bkaydezz said:


> im really considering it.


What is there to consider? Seriously.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Hey, my now-ex told me I was in good shape but not "well built." He made other similar comments on occasion.

What an ass. He had no idea how good he had it until I left. 

I'm sexy as hell and men notice me. And in bed, I'm somethin' else! Mr. vanilla can go f*ck himself now, for all I care. 

Yes, dump this guy. In a round about way, he is telling you he is not that into you anymore, and no marriage can survive the lack of animal attraction. 

Mostly, though, you need to dump him because he is blaming YOU for something that needs to be worked out in loving couples. Attraction will wear thin if both partners don't make an effort. He just blames you. Do you really want to be with someone that immature? 

Look after yourself by moving on. If my sister or daughter told me this, I'd tell her he is a loser b/c he blames others for things that aren't their fault.


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

HopelesslyJaded said:


> I would be curious to see if you could produce an example of beautiful but not sexy. Can you find a pic of one?


Sure. 










Liv Tyler. A woman i consider beautiful. But i don't think she is really that sexy. At least she is much more beautiful than she is sexy.

Probably there is going to be a guy here calling me nuts and that this woman is smoking hot. But she really does very little for me in the sexyness thing. 

Another example:











Top model, beautiful in all sorts of objective ways (skin, hair, eyes, body shape). But does nothing for me sexy wise. 


Sexy is really hard to define. Has a lot more to do with attitude than pure physical beauty. I've known women that were not really that good looking but managed to convey a measure of sexyness well beyond their apparent outer beauty. 

To be sexy for me a woman has to press some of my buttons. It isn't enough to just be pretty. 

Pure sexy woman from the media:











Just had to see her talk and move a bit and a primal part in my brain told me she would be great to have in the sack.


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## HopelesslyJaded (Aug 14, 2012)

Probably nothing to do with her enormous rack on that tiny frame?! lol I just saw her in The 3 Stooges a couple days ago and it her boobs don't fit her body.

Thanks for taking to time to show some examples.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

that_girl said:


> So burping after I scratch my butt isn't sexy? dangit.


like everything else...in the eye of the beholder.
i think it is.
butt i get to smell the finger


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

that_girl said:


> What is there to consider? Seriously.


nothing really.
you can only be rejected and lied to so many times.
that should be enough right?
but its always just a conveniece when something is "wanted"
if you get my drift.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

FirstYearDown said:


> I asked my husband what the difference is between cute, sexy and beautiful.
> 
> His response: "A cute woman is attractive in a very sweet way that makes you want to snuggle her. A sexy woman makes you want to take her to be immediately and a beautiful woman is hard to take your eyes off of because she is so gorgeous. You are ALL three, my love. On our wedding day, I was in tears because you were so beautiful. When I watch you sleep before I go to work, you are very cute. You are sexy when I come home and you are in lingerie with heels."
> 
> :smthumbup: Awww...


 Your husband ought to make an account here, I LOVE his answer!! 

That was


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

My wife can be sexy as hell. But it's very frustrating because she refuses to be sexy. We were dress shopping today (I know I know) and you should have seen how she looked in some of the dresses she tried on. I even offered to pay her to wear a certain red one. That comment got the dressing room door **** in my face. So, ya she can be sexy but she generally just tries to blend in and disappear.


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## CanadianGuy (Jun 17, 2012)

What was Marilyn Monroe?


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

CanadianGuy said:


> What was Marilyn Monroe?



To me personally in my eyes....she is sexy. She's cute. But very sexy.


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## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

heartsbeating said:


> I think that's why these things are up to interpretation. As my guy wouldn't find that image of 'sexy' to be sexy.
> 
> I've always felt _being_ sexy is more about presence than looking sexy. Sure, there are features that look sexy (based on one's preferences) but even then, I don't think that necessarily means the person comes across as being sexy.


I think that sexy is an unintentional thing for women to have. It is not necessarily looks. Looks can only add to sexiness.


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## CanadianGuy (Jun 17, 2012)

bkaydezz said:


> nothing really.
> you can only be rejected and lied to so many times.
> that should be enough right?
> but its always just a conveniece when something is "wanted"
> if you get my drift.


I'm picking up what your dropping. Just go be sexy already..


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> My wife can be sexy as hell. But it's very frustrating because she refuses to be sexy. We were dress shopping today (I know I know) and you should have seen how she looked in some of the dresses she tried on. I even offered to pay her to wear a certain red one. That comment got the dressing room door **** in my face. So, ya she can be sexy but she generally just tries to blend in and disappear.


Lmao! Your a trip! I love reading about you and your wife.... pretty entertaining.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

HopelesslyJaded said:


> Probably nothing to do with her enormous rack on that tiny frame?! lol I just saw her in The 3 Stooges a couple days ago and it her boobs don't fit her body.
> 
> Thanks for taking to time to show some examples.


Yes, i admit i'm a boob guy...



> What was Marilyn Monroe?


For me much more sexy than beautiful.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> *My wife can be sexy as hell. But it's very frustrating because she refuses to be sexy.* We were dress shopping today (I know I know) and you should have seen how she looked in some of the dresses she tried on. I even offered to pay her to wear a certain red one. That comment got the dressing room door **** in my face. *So, ya she can be sexy but she generally just tries to blend in and disappear*.


Sounds like my wife........

She's very liberal in the bedroom but " conservative " in dressing.
Can be annoying at times , but I don't make it a big issue.


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## HopelesslyJaded (Aug 14, 2012)

Caribbean Man said:


> Sounds like my wife........
> 
> She's very liberal in the bedroom but " conservative " in dressing.
> Can be annoying at times , but I don't make it a big issue.


I told my husband that he better be prepared. If I ever get satisfied with my figure again I'll probably dress almost like a prostitute. Lol I enjoy feeling sexy and do what I think I can pull off as it is.

Now let's not hold our breath that I'll get to my physical goals. LOL


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

bkayedezz, is that actually you in your avatar picture? if so, you are very beautiful (respectfully speaking of course). have no idea how sexy you are, there is a difference


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

You do realize that there are lots more men out there that will treat you right AND have sex with you.

If you are staying with this deuce for sex...and you know how he is, then comments like this should be expected from him. And really shouldn't bother you, because you stay even though you know he is like this.


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

To me, beauty is something that comes natural to a woman and she possesses it even when she is unaware of it, such as being dressed down, no make up, etc.

Sexiness is something gained by clothing, hair, make up and attitude. 

Even a so-called "homely" or wide body woman (not the mainstream norm is where I'm going) can be sexy as hell if she goes for it.


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

i always thought "sexy" was 
poise
grace
attitude


[and a great pair of fvck me shoes couldnt hurt]


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

that_girl said:


> So burping after I scratch my butt isn't sexy? dangit.


Dang woman, round these here parts we call that foreplay.

My wife and I call this the "it" factor. Some women have it, some don't. For instance, most American tv news reporters are very pretty. Most Latin American tv news reporters are sexy.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

To the OP.

Dump your boyfriend.

To the discussion.

Beautiful is a subjective physical state.
Sexy is an attitude one can have whether they're beautiful or not


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Well, I'm told I'm a 'dirty girl' and that seems to be wayyyy beyond sexy. (So just take this sexy thing and shove it already.)


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

tacoma said:


> To the OP.
> 
> Dump your boyfriend.
> 
> ...


:iagree::iagree::iagree:

Perfect!
I have always said that sexy is an attitude.


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## Izzie (Aug 17, 2012)

Pretty: Jennifer Anniston. Sexy: Angelina Jolie. Your Boyfriend: Dump him. He sounds like an ass. Marriage is hard as hell, if he's already belittling you and ruining your self-esteem this early on in the game, you have no hope. Trust me. If he doesn't find you sexy, he is in a round-about way telling you he is bored. He is blaming his wanting to sleep with other women on you. Lose this guy, please.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Izzie said:


> Pretty: Jennifer Anniston. Sexy: Angelina Jolie. Your Boyfriend: Dump him. He sounds like an ass. Marriage is hard as hell, if he's already belittling you and ruining your self-esteem this early on in the game, you have no hope. Trust me. *If he doesn't find you sexy, he is in a round-about way telling you he is bored. He is blaming his wanting to sleep with other women on you. Lose this guy, please.*


:iagree:


Love is in the eyes of the lovemaker.

I will not suggest you dump him,but a serious 
" come to Jesus / Fire and brimstone " meeting, with you on the pulpit is in order...

NEVER allow your man to tell you those things.


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## rj700 (Jun 22, 2012)

Beautiful makes a man stare in amazement, sensuous makes him melt, sexy makes him act like an idiot (lack of blood to the brain).


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## Dr. Rockstar (Mar 23, 2011)

I've come to believe things like "sexy" or "beautiful are things which can't be quantified. Not only are the definitions different for each person, but it's really hard to put a finger on what the differences are. 

For me, "beautiful" is personified with grace in heart, a giving spirit, compassion for others and maybe a touch of naivety.

"Sexy," on the other hand, is all about confident and presence. 

The two don't have to be mutually exclusive. Take for instance the "nerd girl" stereotype. We've all seen TV shows or movies where t there is a certain character who is bookish, a little shy, but you can see in her naivety that she is a very sweet person. But once she gets a little confidence, she takes off her glasses and let's her hair down, she becomes a stone-cold knockout.

As for bkaydezz's particular situation, the boyfriend obviously needs a little education. But this is the kind of question that a lot of men feel is unanswerable, like it's a trap. Believe it or not, there are many women who would be insulted to be called sexy, because that word conjures up images of streetwalkers and--to quote another thread--s!uts. So guys are afraid that whatever their answer is, it's going to be wrong. 

It all depends on the circumstances bringing the question about and the temperament & mood of the asker. Does she want to feel sexy? Does she want to feel beautiful? Sometimes it's hard to tell.


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