# Need Advice considering divorce



## UserName21 (Feb 9, 2012)

My wife and I have been married almost a year, I am in the military and we started talking when I was stationed in Germany (even though we went to High School together). One thing led to another I got back to the states and we got married.

Since then I have really lost desire to do much of anything. I am generally a social guy I have friends and I like to go out with them but for whatever reason I have no interest in doing anything with my wife. She saw my fun party side from my time in Germany and that is what she was expecting but for whatever reason I just have no desire to do much of anything. 

I have a heavy workload lately so when I get home I dont reallly want to do much but even on weekends I am more content hanging around alone at home instead going out and doing anything. It seems wrong but I would rather go out and hang out with friends at a bar or stay home alone than do stuff with my wife. I have told her the way I feel and we still love each other. I am just not sure why I feel this way.

Lately its like I look forward to her working in the afternoon/night so I can come home and be alone. Its not that I dont like her or love her, but I just have no desire to spend time with her. Our "intimate" time barely exists, this is also my fault. I feel like I am dragging her down she just wants to spend time with me and have fun together but I have no desire to. I feel extremely selfish because I know she just wants to spend time with me and go do things and have fun but I just never want to. 

We are both in our early 20's, part of me feels like we rushed into this but I dont want to hold her back from having fun, and experiencing new things. I love her very much. Lately the thought of us getting a divorce has come into my mind and part of me thinks its a good idea and but thinking about not having her in my life hurts. I really dont know what to do... Any advice would be helpful.


----------



## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

So you like to go out with your friends, but not your wife? Or you used to like going out with your friends, and now you have no desire to do anything with anyone?

Have you considered that you may be depressed? Do you have other stuff going on in your life?

How long did you date and actually spend time with each other prior to marrying? Not just long distance dating, but actually spending time together.

C


----------



## UserName21 (Feb 9, 2012)

Well occasionally I like to go out with friends, not nearly as much as I used to though. It used to be every weekend we went out and had a good time, but lately I havent had the desire to do that as much. For the most part I just enjoy being alone though.

I have considered that it could be depression I grew up in a less than desirable childhood to put it lightly so I think some of this might have stemmed from that.

We actually dated and spent time together for a year or so before we got married. We were living in different states for some of it and so we werent seeing each other very often but she ended up moving in with me a few months before we got married. 

It's like when we were only together in spurts I was eager to do things with her but now that we are together I no longer have the desire to do that.


----------

