# wife refuses to believe in the lord jesus christ



## yichud (Mar 14, 2017)

I've recently decided to convert to Christianity so I can get my wife to stop watching lesbian porn.

however she refuses.

how do I get her to believe in the way of god?


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

You don't. That is her choice, just like it is yours.


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## FrazzledSadHusband (Jul 3, 2014)

Until a person hits a point in their life where they decide to change, you can't force them.
HOWEVER, you can be the best husband & christian you can be. Hopefully, she sees the change in you and decides she wants a part of what you have.

Each person has to answer for them self.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

yichud said:


> I've recently decided to convert to Christianity so I can get my wife to stop watching lesbian porn.
> 
> however she refuses.
> 
> how do I get her to believe in the way of god?


You converted to Christianity to get your wife to stop watching porn? Dude, that's crazy.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Do you really believe? Or is this just a manipulation to get your file to do what you want?


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

Either you believe or not. Religion is based on faith and you cannot just say you believe in something if you do not. Plus it is not nice to force your religion on anyone and perhaps that is why you two have a problem. I am an atheist despite going to Catholic school. I am too logical to believe in any God, but think it is great for those who need it to get through life. However, you cannot force your religion on anyone. That is not a no-no and marriage counselors would agree with me. 

Perhaps your wife is bisexual like mine is. No big deal. I ended up have a few thousand threesomes over 44 years of marriage. Best part is that it is not against my religion. Read my signature. It is very true. People rather suffer in their own morality than accept one that works for them. You are forcing your morality on your wife and I would not blame her if she left you for a girl. You two are not meant to be together and no amount of religion is going to turn someone straight. That is old thinking. Do you think gay people have a choice and they chose to be gay and have the world prejudiced against them and have a harder life than heterosexuals? Come on. Your wife is the way she is whether by nature or nurture and you should accept her for who she is. Changing her will not work and it will only push her away from you. Maybe she is already dating girls. That is what a lot of bi girls do when their husbands reject their sexuality. I have only dated bi girls since I was 15 and that is not by choice. They see me as a sexually liberal person that they do not have to hide their sexuality from. I know that they cannot be changed. My ex fiancee had a husband for 20 years and now is married to a women. Yet she is a devote Jew from an Orthodox family. My wife was raised Christian and believes in God and Jesus. She has never tried to push her religion on me and it certainly did not turn her straight. In fact, it made her unhappy trying to repress her sexual identity for many years. She thought she should not feel the way she felt about women and as a result felt that something was missing in her life. I allowed her to explore her sexuality and she was the religious one in the family, not me. I am straight.


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## EunuchMonk (Jan 3, 2016)

Yeah, OP, that sounds really extreme. I know you want her to stop watching the homosexual stuff but faking being a Christian is not the way. Plus, she can probably sense that your religiousness is insincere since you seem to be trying to use it to control her, giving further credence to the stereotype that religion is about "control". She has to change on her own time and in her own way. Does that sound unhelpful? Well, it should. You are powerless in this situation. If you really were genuine about your conversion you would pray that God changes her, not try to force her to see things your way.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

You want your wife to believe in a completely bollocks way of life to stop her doing something else?

Good with that!


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

God works in mysterious ways.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Ask if you can warch together


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Pray for her and ask others to do the same. You cant force her to want to know Jesus Christ, so be patient. It may take years for her to see what she is missing. Have you got a good church? 
I hope that she will stop the porn, its so damaging for the marriage, have you asked her to stop? 
I wouldn't put up with it myself. I would say, its the porn or me. A lady I knew did that, her husband has been looking at porn for years and kept promising to stop. One day she had enough and was planning to leave. She gave him one last chance, her or the porn, and because he knew she was serious he stopped, just like that.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

FrazzledSadHusband said:


> Until a person hits a point in their life where they decide to change, you can't force them.
> HOWEVER, you can be the best husband & christian you can be. Hopefully, she sees the change in you and decides she wants a part of what you have.
> 
> Each person has to answer for them self.


:smthumbup:


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

yichud said:


> I've recently decided to convert to Christianity so I can get my wife to stop watching lesbian porn.
> 
> however she refuses.
> 
> how do I get her to believe in the way of god?


I don't think this will help at all. 
You just come across as desperately trying to control her, it's your insecurity too that's a hindrance also. 
Perhaps you would be better to set up an appointment with a sex therapist for the two of you. 

She's either a lesbian or a woman seeking a pleasurable experience in the bedroom, you are trying to throw cold water on her so the problem will go away, instead of looking at how you can improve your sex life and give her the orgasms she craves. 

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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

yichud said:


> I've recently decided to convert to Christianity so I can get my wife to stop watching lesbian porn.
> 
> however she refuses.
> 
> how do I get her to believe in the way of god?


Dude... Not cool at all. You decided to become a Christian ONLY to get your wife to stop watching lesbian porn? Seriously? 

First, that is not the right frame of mind for yourself to convert, let alone your wife. Your conversion is about you, and no one else. And "converting" to control someone else's activities is not ok.

Second, you cannot force her to believe in God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit. That has to come from her, and her alone. Sure, you can talk to her about Him, but it is her choice whether to believe or not. Can it happen? Sure. But if you try to force it, it will never happen.

Seriously, yichud, why don't you just talk to her about the porn, and tell her why it bothers you? But, I will say one thing... if you currently view heterosexual porn, are unwilling to give it up, and you are trying to force your wife to give up the lesbian porn, under the guise of conversion to Christianity, you are a hypocrite. 

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## urf (Feb 18, 2017)

I find it hard to believe the craziness of some people.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

I converted to Judaism because I'm tired of working Saturday's.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

katiecrna said:


> I converted to Judaism because I'm tired of working Saturday's.


There are Christians who do not work on Saturdays (Sabbath), too. 

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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

So, if she switches to hetero porn, will you switch over to Islam or Buddhism? 

Just become an athiest. Then you don't have to worry over which porn she chooses. 

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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

TX-SC said:


> So, if she switches to hetero porn, will you switch over to Islam or Buddhism?
> 
> Just become an athiest. Then you don't have to worry over which porn she chooses.
> 
> Sent from my LG-US996 using Tapatalk


Porn is damaging to a marriage no matter what.


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

Doesn't work:
My BIL converted to Orthodox Judaism in an attempt to stop his wife from being the royal b**ch that she is. Claimed that his observance would stop her from saying sh!t, and doing sh!t that had people turning their backs on both of them. She just ramped up. Started belittling him in front of friends and family. Mr. Wimpy took it, until she REALLY stepped over the line. Apparently, when she did, they were on the freeway, and he ripped the rearview mirror off the window, and beat her senseless with it. Afterward she screamed to anyone who would listen that she thought he would just take it, she never suspected that he would just lose it. She will never poke that bear again. (at least to the extent that she did)

The charge was assault. The prosecutor dropped the "with intent" part, but the courts mandated a separation. He has a record. They are still married, however, it cannot be called much of anything, except dysfunction city. Why are they still married? Got me. He has had a long standing AP, and he basically goes home to sleep, rest of the time he is at his office. 45 years of that would put me in a mental institution.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

Diana7 said:


> Porn is damaging to a marriage no matter what.


I disagree. Porn can enhance a couple's sex life. It can also fill gaps in a marriage when one spouse is LD and the other is HD. 

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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*The ultimate journey and the receiving of forgiveness from God, through Jesus Christ, or any other entity, must preeminently be travelled alone before ones heart fully opens up to Him!*


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

Diana7 said:


> Porn is damaging to a marriage no matter what.


I completely disagree. It can and does enhance some marriages. Just because you aren't cool with it doesn't mean it's wrong for everyone. I respect your stance on porn and i would hope you would respect mine, despite our difference of opinion.

I urge you to refrain from blanket statements like this.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

yichud said:


> I've recently decided to convert to Christianity so I can get my wife to stop watching lesbian porn.
> 
> however she refuses.
> 
> how do I get her to believe in the way of god?


lol What on earth?! 
That isn't how someone converts to Christianity. If you converted to get your wife to quit doing something, then you haven't actually converted at all.
As far as getting your wife to convert, a forced conversion isn't a conversion. Either she believes and converts or she doesn't. Either way it's not something you can make her do.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

yichud said:


> I've recently decided to convert to Christianity so I can get my wife to stop watching lesbian porn.
> 
> however she refuses.
> 
> how do I get her to believe in the way of god?


What did you convert to Christianity from?

Why should your conversion have any bearing on her religion? 

If my partner converted to Judaism, for example, that would have no bearing on MY religious beliefs...


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

katiecrna said:


> I converted to Judaism because I'm tired of working Saturday's.




You're joking of course.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

Even if you converted because you felt called to Christianity, and not because you want to use faith as a tool to manipulate your wife, it has to be her decision to come to faith. I came back to faith a little over a year ago, and everyone's path is different.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> Porn is damaging to a marriage no matter what.


I think it can be if it becomes preferred over being with one's partner or an addiction. But, everything starts somewhere.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

blueinbr said:


> You're joking of course.


Lol yes, she is. But it was to illustrate a point.

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## urf (Feb 18, 2017)

Diana7 said:


> Porn is damaging to a marriage no matter what.


My wife asks for me to pick out porn we can share together. It's a really interesting thing to be a part of. It's not an all the time thing just every once in the while. We have been married for 50 years. She is not afraid of her sexuality or mine.

We explore everything together. We share everything. It makes us closer. I know what she likes and what she doesn't.

We are 100% monogamous and we always have been. We are totally dependent on each other for our satisfactions and we always have been. If she were against something that I wanted to try, like porn, it might open a chasm between us and work to separate us. Sharing the most intimate details of what we like lead us to understand each other so much better.

It's only sex, as cheaters say, but there is no cheating.

Perhaps you might restate your objection to porn to be less "all inclusive" and define it as not possible with your own life.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

You are all being trolled folks.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

urf said:


> My wife asks for me to pick out porn we can share together. It's a really interesting thing to be a part of. It's not an all the time thing just every once in the while. We have been married for 50 years. She is not afraid of her sexuality or mine.
> 
> We explore everything together. We share everything. It makes us closer. I know what she likes and what she doesn't.
> 
> ...


Thank goodness I have a husband who also knows the damage that porn does. Yes it is cheating, its bring others into your marriage. Its taking the focus off each other and onto others. Its seeing naked men and women when you should only be seeing each other.Its putting those images into you mind that will always be there.

Porn use is cited in 60% of all divorces now.I know 2 marriages myself that ended because of porn. Its so damaging. Its a multi million pound industry that makes a of of money for many unscrupulous people and uses women who often have little self esteem, and many who were from abusive pasts. 

I also you one question, would you be ok if your daughter became a porn actress and was seen and leered after by countless men?

Believe me, not looking at porn isnt because we are 'afraid of our sexuality', but because we are faithful in body and mind and keep all of the intimacy between ourselves. Its very special when you have a partner who goes against the flow and doesn't do this, that enriches our marriage and sex life so much.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

*Deidre* said:


> I think it can be if it becomes preferred over being with one's partner or an addiction. But, everything starts somewhere.


Its unfaithfulness. Most porn users do get addicted eventually and many will get to the point of not wanting sex with a normal lady any more, and some are even unable to be aroused by anything but worse and worse types of porn. It destroys lives and marriages. I know many who this has happened to.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

*Deidre* said:


> Even if you converted because you felt called to Christianity, and not because you want to use faith as a tool to manipulate your wife, it has to be her decision to come to faith. I came back to faith a little over a year ago, and everyone's path is different.


I have friends who have non christian husbands, and they have learnt to mostly keep quiet about it, but pray and pray. One of their husbands had recently become a Christian aged 70!
Its hard though when one converts after marriage. This is why as Christians we should never marry a non Christian.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

EleGirl said:


> You are all being trolled folks.


Of course we are! But this one is sooooo much fun! 

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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

EleGirl said:


> You are all being trolled folks.




Are you speaking as a moderator? Otherwise you have to ban yourself. 

Just kidding E.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

blueinbr said:


> Are you speaking as a moderator? Otherwise you have to ban yourself.
> 
> Just kidding E.


>


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> Porn is damaging to a marriage no matter what.


Not true. Maybe in your life but you cannot speak for others.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

MrsHolland said:


> Not true. Maybe in your life but you cannot speak for others.


Statistics show the terrible damage that porn does. Porn is cited in 60% of all divorces. Porn addiction is rife.It damages both the one looking and his/her marriage.Its a horrible industry. 
It doesn't damage my life because we don't use it.


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> Statistics show the terrible damage that porn does. Porn is cited in 60% of all divorces. Porn addiction is rife.It damages both the one looking and his/her marriage.Its a horrible industry.
> It doesn't damage my life because we don't use it.


You said porn is damaging to a marriage *"no matter what"*. This is absolutely NOT TRUE.

In my home it would be far more damaging if he became religious, in fact it would be a deal breaker for me.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

MrsHolland said:


> You said porn is damaging to a marriage *"no matter what"*. This is absolutely NOT TRUE.
> 
> In my home it would be far more damaging if he became religious, in fact it would be a deal breaker for me.


I wouldn't date or marry a man who wasn't a Christian.I married a non christian the first time, that was a massive mistake.
Porn damages everyone who looks and takes part, its not always obvious for a while but its not something that is good for us or for those who take part.


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> I wouldn't date or marry a man who wasn't a Christian.I married a non christian the first time, that was a massive mistake.
> Porn damages everyone who looks and takes part, its not always obvious for a while but its not something that is good for us or for those who take part.


Talking in absolutes takes away credibility.

Drinking damages some who do it.
Drugs damage some who do it.
Porn damages some who watch it.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

Try Sharia Islam - now that will put the fear of God in her! I converted to Catholocism because I liked being the bad guy in Dan Brown movies (some of which are worse than porn)!


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

MrsHolland said:


> Talking in absolutes takes away credibility.
> 
> Drinking damages some who do it.
> Drugs damage some who do it.
> Porn damages some who watch it.


Alcohol isn't good for us, nor are illegal drugs, and speeding is also foolish regardless of whether anyone gets injured.


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> Alcohol isn't good for us, nor are illegal drugs, and speeding is also foolish regardless of whether anyone gets injured.


All true however the point was that people do all sorts of things that can harm and a portion of the population will be harmed. It is not credible to state outright that ALL people that engage in certain things will be harmed.

Plenty of people can self monitor and regulate their own lives. We do not have to live by religion or 100% abstinence to live full and engaging lives. 

IMHO people that can self regulate are far more balanced. Just have to look at the churches where child abuse is rife.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

Is it possible to threadjack a troll post? 

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