# What fuels your romance?



## pzsl3j (Jan 31, 2012)

I have three simple questions(I am a guy):

Question 1
Guys - what fuels your romantic feelings towards your wife?(makes you want to buy her flowers, get her jewelry, tell her you love her, kiss on her ect....)

Question 2
Gals - what do you think fuels your husbands romance towards you?

Question 3
Gals - do you think your husband should still be able to feel romantic toward you(and perform romantic gestures) regardless of what you do or how you behave towards him? In are feelings and actions of romance directly a result of actions of the other party?


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## Sussieq (Apr 6, 2013)

For me the answer to #3 is yes. But my husband and I act quickly if we think we've hurt the other one. It's his love for me. At this point in our marriage, it's the simple things that make us happy. Things like calling ahead to see if the other person wants something, is hungry, just anything. We enjoy taking care of each other.


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## pzsl3j (Jan 31, 2012)

Sussieq said:


> For me the answer to #3 is yes. But my husband and I act quickly if we think we've hurt the other one. It's his love for me. At this point in our marriage, it's the simple things that make us happy. Things like calling ahead to see if the other person wants something, is hungry, just anything. We enjoy taking care of each other.


Thanks for your response - let elaborate more on what I meant by question 3. Do you believe your husband should still be able to have romantic feelings toward yo, peform romantic gestures towards you even if you don't act loving towards him? Should his feelings of romance toward you be soley based on the fact that you breath, exist and occupy the same space with him? Or do you believe as a woman, as his wife, you have some part to play in fueling his romance towards you?


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

pzsl3j said:


> I have three simple questions(I am a guy):
> 
> Question 1
> Guys - what fuels your romantic feelings towards your wife?(makes you want to buy her flowers, get her jewelry, tell her you love her, kiss on her ect....)
> ...


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

pzsl3j said:


> Question 1
> Guys - what fuels your romantic feelings towards your wife?(makes you want to buy her flowers, get her jewelry, tell her you love her, kiss on her ect....)


All the stuff she does for her family. This girl knocks herself out for us.


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## pzsl3j (Jan 31, 2012)

Kathy,

You husband is a lucky man that you realize the principle that romance is not one a way street, and it must be fueled by each-other's actions.

For men - it would be if he is just pursing sex with her, without a kind word, gesture, or flowers, or dates, or doing things she likes then he is an idiot if he is wondering why she is not more responsive in the bedroom.

For women - if you are expecting romantic gestures from your husband like flowers, letters, dates or other things you like but you ignore his needs in the bedroom or elsewhere than you are an idiot as well.

The reason I write all this is because I spent the first 3 years of my marriage(in 4th year now), pouring romantic gestures into the marriage. Flowers, love letters, massages, I do the dishes, laundry(her love language is acts of service). But my wife actually believes I should do those things regardless of how she acts towards me.(she is critical, rarely touches me(touch is my love language, cuddling, kissing, love her to sit on my lap). She thinks if she gives me a quickie once a week she has done her duty.

Recently I stopped the flowers, letters, massages and other nice things I was doing and she quickly took notice. I told her I was just not feeling romantic towards her because of what I mentioned above...she cried and acted like none of that should matter - and accused me of acted liking our relationship revolved around sex. She thought I should be able to feel romantic towards her no matter what.

Ladies - what do you think?


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

"Ladies - what do you think?"

I think you are making the mistake of thinking that the problems in your marriage are way more typical than the problems of the opposite sort, namely, there are just as many women in marriages where she is doing all the loving, pursuing, patient, kind and caring gestures, while her husband assumes that since he brings home a paycheck, that is all he needs to do.

Both men and women make huge marital mistakes.

Please don't assume "most" women think like your wife does.

Having said that, if you aren't willing to leave your wife over these issues, there won't be much hope of her changing her mind about what marriage requires.


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## mrsmariemac (Apr 8, 2013)

I feel that the door swings both ways. You have to give and receive acts of love. You have to feel loved and show that you love to keep the marriage (or relationship as it would be) alive and well. If the attention is always shown on one person in the relationship I think after awhile the other person would start to feel unloved and uncared for. I do little things for my husband all the time (as he does for me) to show him that I love and care for him, in addition ofcourse to telling him. I will send him a text out of the blue that says "I love you", "thanks for ______", " you are my ___________", etc, I will leave a sticky note on the bathroom mirror that says something similar, I put love cards in his suitcase (after we have packed it together) under his clothes last thing before he locks it so when he gets to the motel and opens it he gets a nice card with my profession of love for him when he travels for business, when he works nights I make sure to get up with him when he gets home in the middle of the night and talk about how work went or anything that is troubling him. He fills my car with gas on the weekend so I don't have to do it, especially in the cold winter months, he leaves me sticky notes on the coffee maker (he is a tea drinker) telling me how much he loves me, he brings me flowers, he brings me coffee from my favorite coffee shop on the weekends or mornings he works overnights so I don't have to make it and wake up to a yummy surprise, he will help me sort and fold the basket of socks and underwear (not so much fun!), we make the bed together. But these are things we have grown accustomed to doing after 22+ years of marriage. When we fight we make sure we don't go to bed angry ( I know people always say this but we truly do this, and believe me there have been nights we are up all night till we work it out!), we have date night out, we make sure we have time for each other with our busy schedules. I work for our local government and so I attend many many meetings, especially evenings. He will stop and see me and bring me coffee, just to make sure we take 5 minutes to see each other, give each other a hug and kiss, before he goes home, and I may not be home till after he has gone to bed for the night (he gets up for work before 5:50am. I believe this has worked for us because we make sure we put each other first in our lives.... 

Just my opinion.


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## justonelife (Jul 29, 2010)

pzsl3j said:


> she cried and acted like none of that should matter - and accused me of acted liking our relationship revolved around sex.


She's acting like the relationship revolves around you buying her stuff and doing stuff for her. She wants romantic gestures, you want sex. There's no difference, just different needs for each of you.



> She thought I should be able to feel romantic towards her no matter what.


If your romantic/love feelings shouldn't depend on sex, hers shouldn't depend on these acts of service.


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## pzsl3j (Jan 31, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> "Ladies - what do you think?"
> 
> I think you are making the mistake of thinking that the problems in your marriage are way more typical than the problems of the opposite sort, namely, there are just as many women in marriages where she is doing all the loving, pursuing, patient, kind and caring gestures, while her husband assumes that since he brings home a paycheck, that is all he needs to do.
> 
> ...


Faithful Wife,

I am sorry if I gave that impression. I know of many marriages just as you stated, where the woman is putting all this effort into her marriage and her husband does nothing, but expects everything from his wife. I do not assume most women think like my wife, in fact my sister in law can't stand the way my wife takes and takes from me and gives nothing back. She has called her sister out on it many times to no avail.

The reason I stopped romantic gestures from my side was to shake things up, to hopefully shake her into action. I don't want another divorce(this is my second marriage - my first wife ran off with an exboyfriend).

I just had my jaw drop when she thought I should still be able to feel romantic towards her no matter what she did, she like romance was an unconditional feeling you are supposed to have toward your wife.


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## pzsl3j (Jan 31, 2012)

mrsmariemac - I agree often times its about doing little considerate things for each other - sounds like you and your husband understand that concept well. I do put gas in my wife's car all the time, whether warm or cold weather. If I miss it occasionally - she will say something like "my gas man has not been doing his job".

The problem is my wife does not see how selfish and self-centered she is, she won't hear it from her sister, she won't hear it from her own mother(her mother and sister both love me and have nothing but nice things to say about me).


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## pzsl3j (Jan 31, 2012)

waiwera said:


> This very subject is covered in the book 'His needs Her Needs'. My H and I read it in bed together, all cuddled up. I really suggest you read it...together. If needs are left unmet resentments and a lack of connection happen, as you now know first hand.
> 
> You needs are clearly not being met which is not OK. Great that you realize that and are standing up for your rights in the marriage.
> 
> ...


We actually tried reading that book together, along with the five love languages and some other relationship books. Each time the result was the same - we would get a little into the book and she would be done with it, she would say we don't need it and everything is fine.

She would then put me on a guilt trip like why was I not satifisfied with our marriage and she was happy, why could not just be happy like she was.

When we read the love languages book we clearly identified that my primary love language was touch(second was quality time) and hers was acts of service and words of affirmation. I made a special effort to do more, and do house work and also comment about how smart she was(she was attending college) how beautiful I thought she was.

I clearly told her my love language was acts of service and she said she would try harder, but that it was not easy or natural for her to touch - that her family never did that. Suffice to say she has not tried very hard. On a rare occasion she will touch me because she knows its been a long time, but there is absolutely no consistancy to it whatsoever.


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## Sussieq (Apr 6, 2013)

pzsl3j said:


> Thanks for your response - let elaborate more on what I meant by question 3. Do you believe your husband should still be able to have romantic feelings toward yo, peform romantic gestures towards you even if you don't act loving towards him? Should his feelings of romance toward you be soley based on the fact that you breath, exist and occupy the same space with him? Or do you believe as a woman, as his wife, you have some part to play in fueling his romance towards you?


No, I don't feel that he "should" have romantic feelings towards me if I don't act loving towards him. I absolutely believe that I play a role in "fueling his romance". 

"Should his feelings of romance toward you be soley based on the fact that you breath, exist and occupy the same space with him?" No, they should not.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

How long have you been married?

What are your ages?

What is your wife's relationship history?


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## Sussieq (Apr 6, 2013)

pzsl3j said:


> We actually tried reading that book together, along with the five love languages and some other relationship books. Each time the result was the same - we would get a little into the book and she would be done with it, she would say we don't need it and everything is fine.
> 
> She would then put me on a guilt trip like why was I not satifisfied with our marriage and she was happy, why could not just be happy like she was.
> 
> ...


For me, it's always been important that I was on the same page when it comes to showing affection. I came from an affectionate family, my husband didn't. After being around my family for a bit, he came to love affection. I feel it's important just to have a special touch between a couple; it makes you closer.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

> *pzsl3j said:*
> Question 1
> Guys - what fuels your romantic feelings towards your wife?(makes you want to buy her flowers, get her jewelry, tell her you love her, kiss on her ect....)


 I am answering this for my husband... he has no desire to buy me flowers -cause I told him a long time ago to not waste his $$, I'd rather him pick them in the back yard... yeah, I'm a little weird ... he doesn't buy me jewelry either -cause I'd rather pick it out myself ... though he did when we were dating.. and yeah, that was special. 

We are both *TIME* & *TOUCH* in the Love languages... I just asked him sitting here why --he just says "Just you baby" ... We are both pretty hands on & openly expressive ..I feel this keeps our dopamine levels flying towards each other... 



> Question 2
> Gals - what do you think fuels your husbands romance towards you?


 It is HOW I treat him, how I look at him, touch him, validate him, do things for him... my love shown towards him.. if I was cold, distant, rejecting, we would not have the dymanic we have ... 

Back in the day (in comparison)... I was a little too focused on our children.. it caused some "APATHY" to slip in our marriage...the romance was slipping...just too busy or unfocused to really notice.. those days are behind us now. So there is always hope for every relationship . 



> Question 3
> Gals - *do you think your husband should still be able to feel romantic toward you(and perform romantic gestures) regardless of what you do or how you behave towards him?* In are feelings and actions of romance directly a result of actions of the other party?


 No, I believe it takes 2 people to carry that torch... True, it could involve one trying harder, pushing themselves to REvive the passion in a marriage for a time... but after so much of this, we grow tired, feel unappreciated... there is no way to get around this... when we give love, we want to feel some signs of life & love in return... I don't believe in unconditional love - personally for a spouse. 



> *KathyBatesel said: *I'm a woman, but I feel romantic when my husband does nice things for me (acts of service.) Last weekend, he took my car to the car wash and cleaned and vacuumed it before I awoke. How can anyone NOT adore someone like that?


 this right here shows the difference in some women...what floats Kathy's Boat here... wouldn't do diddly for me... I wouldn't even give this a thought... this to me would be as exciting as him taking out the garbage... .. sure it's appreciated but it wouldn't cause any Romantic feelings at all...

Only his wanting to spend *time* with me -and his touching my body, playing with my hair, kissing me, cuddling - and his wanting sex... that keeps me on a high.



> *KathyBatesel said*: I believe John Gottman's findings are valid: that for every complaint/criticism, at least five positive interactions must take place for a relationship to stay on a good path.














> *pzsl3j said :*
> The reason I write all this is because I spent the first 3 years of my marriage(in 4th year now), pouring romantic gestures into the marriage. Flowers, love letters, massages, I do the dishes, laundry(her love language is acts of service). *But my wife actually believes I should do those things regardless of how she acts towards me.(she is critical, rarely touches me(touch is my love language, cuddling, kissing, love her to sit on my lap). She thinks if she gives me a quickie once a week she has done her duty.*
> 
> Recently I stopped the flowers, letters, massages and other nice things I was doing and she quickly took notice.* I told her I was just not feeling romantic towards her because of what I mentioned above...she cried and acted like none of that should matter - and accused me of acted liking our relationship revolved around sex. She thought I should be able to feel romantic towards her no matter what*.


 I feel your wife has NO understanding or concept - nor has she cared to understand how a man feels.. her own husband... and this is very very sad.. YOU did the right thing by taking these romantic gestures away from her.. she needed a wake up call... what you did was laid out here in this thread >> 

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/mens-clubhouse/21278-thermostat-ultimate-barometer-your-r.html

Your wife needs to get a wake up call about the emotional needs of men >>> 

 Sex is an Emotional NEED...Male sexuality is a central part of who he is as both a man and a husband


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Do you have either of these books...that could aid you both in understanding each's Love languages and emotional core needs.. that she has been blinded to... 

*1. *  The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts  








 Love Languages Personal Profile 

































*2.* His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage  ~ these are the Core Emotional Needs addressed in that book....



> 10 Emotional needs:
> 
> 
> 1. *Admiration*
> ...










 Emotional Needs Questionnaire









........


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## mrsmariemac (Apr 8, 2013)

pzsl3j- there were times in our marriage when I didn't have time for my husband- our kids were young and needed my attention, we were drained from working long hours to support our household, etc. It took it's toll on our marriage. But this is a second marriage for both of us and we knew that neglect was not going to make our marriage strong. Over the last few years our marriage hit some hard times and we had to dig really hard to find the strength to get back to each other. We are in a really good place right now, but in no point during these last few years did I ever feel that my husband didn't love me, nor do I think he felt that either. I feel badly that you are craving the love from your wife that you have been showing her and she is unwilling to fulfill your needs. I agree with other posters here who say you are right to protect your heart. Love is not a one way street! I adore my husband and love to hold and touch him, but just as much love when he reaches out and grabs my hand to hold in the car when we are driving, or runs his hands through my hair. Humans NEED touch and need to know they are loved and cared for. I think you need to start fulfilling your needs elsewhere... and I am not talking about an affair, but with friends and hobbies. Do things that make you feel good about yourself. Surround yourself with people that make you feel good. Making yourself feel good may have a positive effect on her as well. Maybe if she sees that you are happy and others see you so positively she will appreciate the man she HAS and will show you the appreciation she has failed to do. I hope things change for you, I never want to see a marriage fall apart, I always try and hope things will work out.


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## pzsl3j (Jan 31, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> How long have you been married?
> 
> What are your ages?
> 
> What is your wife's relationship history?


We had our 3rd anniversary in March. We dated for 1 year before we got married so I have been with her all together for about 4 years.

I am 37, she is 39.

She and I were both married and divorced before we met. She was married for 5 years, then divorced after her husband left her. She later found out he was cheating on her and actually had a child with one of the women he was cheating with her on.

She then remained single for about 10 years, dating different guys and looking for love but never finding the right guy. She was very insecure when I met her(she was a little overweight) and was very conscious about it. I came along, told her I loved her curves and lifted her up. She was very affectionate physically and we had a lot of sex up until about 3 months before the wedding. Then she started acting stressed and we were not as physical and I chalked it all up to wedding chitters.

The unfortunate thing is we were never again in all three years of marriage like we were in that first 6 months of dating. She is not physically affectionate, and basically thinks if she gives me a quickie once a week she considers who duty complete.

But from me she expects cards, flowers, love notes, dates, massages and all because I should just love her and do these things.

I was married for 14 years to a woman who pretty much took advantage of me and acted similar. She had two affairs with an exboyfriend and I forgave her, she finally asked for a divorce and I gave it to her. I have children from that marriage that I brought into this marriage.

I think that covers it.


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I am answering this for my husband... he has no desire to buy me flowers -cause I told him a long time ago to not waste his $$, I'd rather him pick them in the back yard...


Heh. My wife told me not to buy them too. Funny thing is that when you buy a dozen roses for valentines day she flits about like a bird.

We have an amazing array all summer long with different things blooming in the forest at different times. Those go over pretty well too and I can grab some of them without even getting off the four-wheeler. Things like iris you have to dig up but once transplanted they bloom every year. 

*pzsl3j* the problem is when you put up with poor treatment then you've trained them to treat you that way. You have to take ownership of being a doormat.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Romance? What is that?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

pzsl3j said:


> *Threads like this usually make me sad and angry. I should have avoided opening this but I didn't so now I'm gonna throw small pity party.*
> 
> Question 1
> Guys - what fuels your romantic feelings towards your wife?(makes you want to buy her flowers, get her jewelry, tell her you love her, kiss on her ect....)
> ...


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## pzsl3j (Jan 31, 2012)

mrsmariemac said:


> I think you need to start fulfilling your needs elsewhere... and I am not talking about an affair, but with friends and hobbies.


mrsmariemac,

Its funny you should mention hobbies - because I already did that before I pulled the romantic stuff, it was the only way I could take my mind off my needs not being met.

She actually is fine with me having hobbies and doing other things, as long as I make time for her and make sure I do the things for her she wants, then I am free to do my own thing. 

I have actually been doing the hobby route(computer games, doing stuff with my kids, xbox) for a couple years now and over time it just does not bury the hurt of not having that precious "human touch" as you describe it. Thats why I recently pulled the romantic rug out from under her and I have returned to my hobbies as well.


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## mrsmariemac (Apr 8, 2013)

pzsl3j said:


> mrsmariemac,
> 
> 
> She actually is fine with me having hobbies and doing other things, as long as I make time for her and make sure I do the things for her she wants, then I am free to do my own thing.
> ...


I mean doing what you need to make you happy. Not do things for her she wants! You need to make yourself happy! In our house we say " Happy wife, happy life" and I've heard "if mama ain't happy, no one is happy", but the idea is the same. You can't make anyone else happy if you aren't happy yourself. And why does she get to decide for you when and if you get to do for yourself and if and only after she is happy???? My husband plays cards with co workers, hunts, fishes, works in the yard. Sometimes I do some of those things with him, sometimes not (not the cards with co workers!). I sew, crochet, knit. We have our own things and then things together. Last fall when it was my turn to plan one of our date days I planned a hike day and it was something we had never done before, and it was a great day. Now, I wouldn't say it is something I would _like_ to do again but it was an experience we both tried together. My husband walks about 4 miles a day. Not something I am really into. No big deal. I tried it... it's his thing. Make yourself happy, do things that boost your self esteem. It may even make her see you in a new light and appreciate the good man she has. There aren't a lot of good men out there. She should realized that before she loses the one she has.


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## pzsl3j (Jan 31, 2012)

Wiserforit said:


> *pzsl3j* the problem is when you put up with poor treatment then you've trained them to treat you that way. You have to take ownership of being a doormat.


Wiserforit - you nailed it on the head!

And that is what I am doing different for the first time in 3 years of marriage. I am not doing the nice things I used to do and she is noticing, she is trying not to notice, but she is.

Like tonight we were watching this moving about being 40, and she said "Oh this is a big birthday this year for me - I will be 40" that means you have to get me something really big this year! Last year I got her a $1000 dollar pair of earings for her birthday, and yes they were onces she hinted about. I can promise you this year won't be anything big or extravegent.

I already started this on our anniversary back in March, I got her something small, nothing big and fancy and she was suprised - so was her mom, because I usually go all out. She is going to continue to notice and then go through the angry stage and kick and scream and say she is a good wife. Then I will ask her to name things she does for me as good wife.

Like when was the last time she did something really special for me on her own, just to show she understood me? When will she change her attitude, apologize for her selfish behavior and truly try to understand, not just mechanically meet my needs?


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## pzsl3j (Jan 31, 2012)

mrsmariemac,

what else interesting is - just on something very simple like what television shows we watch.

She likes reality shows, like pawn stars and survivor and trumps apprentice show. I am not a big reality show fan, but I sit and watch them with her(in seperate chairs because she likes her personal space) and she considers that us spending quality time together.

She will not watch any of my shows - except a cop show Hawaii 5 O because she likes that show. But I watch Arrow, and Person of Interest and Grimm and she says they are silly shows and has no desire to watch them.

If that little thing does not demonstrate selfishness...I don't know what else does.


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## Sussieq (Apr 6, 2013)

pzsl3j said:


> mrsmariemac,
> 
> what else interesting is - just on something very simple like what television shows we watch.
> 
> ...


Beyond selfishness, it appears that she just isn't interested in sharing her time with you. I don't mean to sound harsh, but I think you know what I mean.


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## Sussieq (Apr 6, 2013)

pzsl3j said:


> We had our 3rd anniversary in March. We dated for 1 year before we got married so I have been with her all together for about 4 years.
> 
> I am 37, she is 39.
> 
> ...


Not to sound harsh, but if she changed that drastically at the 6 month point, why did you marry her?


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## pzsl3j (Jan 31, 2012)

Sussieq said:


> Not to sound harsh, but if she changed that drastically at the 6 month point, why did you marry her?


Sussieq,

I think the reason I continued was because at that 6 month point I was already hooked, I had fallen in love with the person I imagined her to be from the first 6 months. I just convinced myself this new person she was - was just due to stress from our upcoming wedding(we had just recently got engaged and began planning our wedding).

I think you find many times once we are emotionally attached to someone, we tend to make excuses for there behavior, we want to believe they can be better, that we have seen them better and they will return to that former good behavior.


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## mrsmariemac (Apr 8, 2013)

pzsl3j said:


> Sussieq,
> 
> 
> 
> I think you find many times once we are emotionally attached to someone, we tend to make excuses for there behavior, we want to believe they can be better, that we have seen them better and they will return to that former good behavior.


That is denial... and I think you are making excuses for her now, but you posting here is proof that you know what she is doing and behavior is not right. You seem to know what you need and that she is not giving it to you, but you have been trying to fulfill her needs over time. Maybe you should continue with the tough love route and see where it gets you, even if that is where you don't want to acknowledge it may be. If you know that may be where you don't want to go, but that is where you think it will be, but somewhere you may be happier, then don't you owe it to yourself to be happy? I would rather be alone and happy, than married and miserable. My first marriage was one of physical abuse. Once my child was born I decided that I would NOT allow her to be in a home of abuse and got us out of it. We lived years of hard times, but were happy, because we were in a safe home. Better than the abusive home. You need to be happy and not be allowing her to treat you like a doormat.


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## pzsl3j (Jan 31, 2012)

mrsmariemac said:


> That is denial... and I think you are making excuses for her now, but you posting here is proof that you know what she is doing and behavior is not right. You seem to know what you need and that she is not giving it to you, but you have been trying to fulfill her needs over time. Maybe you should continue with the tough love route and see where it gets you, even if that is where you don't want to acknowledge it may be. If you know that may be where you don't want to go, but that is where you think it will be, but somewhere you may be happier, then don't you owe it to yourself to be happy? I would rather be alone and happy, than married and miserable. My first marriage was one of physical abuse. Once my child was born I decided that I would NOT allow her to be in a home of abuse and got us out of it. We lived years of hard times, but were happy, because we were in a safe home. Better than the abusive home. You need to be happy and not be allowing her to treat you like a doormat.


mrsmariemac,

I agree I was in denial, but not anymore. I recognize her behavior now and thus the "touch love" approach I am using now. You see I am a Christian and so I believe based on my faith that marriage is not easily broken(abuse or infidelity are the only reason I personally believe in). Some people would define "abuse" as the other spouse getting all their needs met and not meeting yours, but I have a hard time doing that.

So I have to work within the confines of making this marriage work, not looking for the exit. But I do realize it will take some tough love, and that may not even work, I sincerely hope it does though.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

pzsl3j said:


> I have three simple questions(I am a guy):
> 
> Question 1
> Guys - what fuels your romantic feelings towards your wife?(makes you want to buy her flowers, get her jewelry, tell her you love her, kiss on her ect....)


Having a good paying job makes me want to buy her jewelry and flowers. As for the other items in your list, when she is interested in things that interest me. When she is physically loving toward me, not just sex, but holding me, touching me, holding my hand, rubbing my shoulders, stroking my fevered brow, etc. When she expresses an interest in wanting to be sexual but not pursuing me like some sort of hungry cougar. I like to puruse. I like her to show her interest and then let me pursue her.

Oh and making me sandwiches.


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