# I miss being married



## SepticChange

Not so much with him since he was toxic but I miss the closeness, camraderie, intimacy...the minor squabbles and irritations and knowing that the person you love would still be there. I miss putting up with aggravating habits yet smiling because it's what made him him and that I loved him. Having someone to cuddle with at night and cry to when I have a stressful day. I miss getting onto someone about forgetting to pull the toilet seat down and being nagged about leaving all the kitchen cabinets open. The small things I miss. All it takes is someone to talk about marriage and I'm overcome with this bittersweet feeling of what I used to have. I absolutely loved being married. It's just a shame that it was to someone who wasn't ready like he thought he was. Any of you miss marriage itself and what it represented?


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## TheGoodGuy

Yes. I miss the idea of marriage. Of companionship. Of, I don't know, someone who WANTS to go through this life with you. I was in my own happy little world and her infidelity (and refusal to stop) was a nuke to our family. I no longer miss my now Ex. But with what I've learned about myself I know I will find my mate. I will not settle this time.


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## whitehawk

Unfortunately l have admitted to myself this last few wks , yep l really miss it.

life single to me just seems empty , pointless . l know maybe someone new sometime but it'll take another 18yrs to get where we were. Weird but in our last few yrs although there was lots of [email protected] going on , l was starting to feel really proud of that 17-18yrs .

l really miss our family, my ex's friendship and all the everyday stuff that just is being married and your life.
l find myself wondering too if it's starting to bite x this way lately too.


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## RandomDude

Meh, I try to look at what I have now instead of what I've lost, guess it's easier to cope when you have a romance in the making to distract you from such thoughts looking back


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## 3Xnocharm

I too loved being married, and yes, I miss it.


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## Jellybeans

I miss what was, not what it became.


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## TheGoodGuy

RandomDude said:


> guess it's easier to cope when you have a romance in the making to distract you from such thoughts looking back


I think that's a good point. Depending on where one is at in their romance/relationship, you are getting some of those things that came with marriage: companionship, a good friend, sex...


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## Clawed

I miss marriage, in a way. It's very circumstancial though. I didn't miss marriage at all when I was dating this other girl for a couple of months. It really helped bring back some of those feelings of closeness, feeling special and wanted etc. When we broke up yesterday, it kind of brought me down a few notches again and I started to think about my wife, and although she was no good in the end, she destroyed my gf in terms of competition. There was actually no comparison at all.

Plus, Christmas is coming up, and it really intensifies those feelings. So, stay really connected with friends and family and keep doing things that bring you to a happier place.

I just asked a girl out yesterday right after I split and she said 'yes' so it'll be nice to have a date this weekend before Christmas. Gotta stay busy and having fun


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## ne9907

we have to let the world believe that Santa exists! I believe!!!!!


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## RandomDude

TheGoodGuy said:


> I think that's a good point. Depending on where one is at in their romance/relationship, you are getting some of those things that came with marriage: companionship, a good friend, sex...


Haha until the new relationship rears its ugly head :smthumbup:
Then it's double trouble!


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## whitehawk

RandomDude said:


> Haha until the new relationship rears its ugly head :smthumbup:
> Then it's double trouble!




Did that one accidentally only a few mths after sep myself, double jeopardy you mean.
6 wks later when that fkd up l thought oh Jesus - wayyyyy to soon to be goin through this again.
Have opted out since , 1 fkd up sitch at a time right now's enough for this black duck .


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## Unique Username

I miss it...but not enough to settle.


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## stillhoping

I agree, its the ordinary things I miss. Someone else to take care of some of the chores, the occasional smile, hug, kiss. The everyday dialogue, what did you do today, who did you see, what do you want to do this weekend. The knowing someone is worried about your arrival, if you even come home, etc. After 30 years in a relationship, that still feels so strange. I could be anywhere in the world and no one knows where I am.


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## Hardtohandle

I miss it as well. 

Being a single parent doing it alone wears you thin, even with help. 

Even if the Ex was a cheating wh0re there was some team work when raising the kids.. It was her free time that caused us issues.

I am at the point in my relationship where I miss the G.F. when she goes home for the night and the same goes for her. We just want to be together and have a family and loving relationship.


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## Morgiana

Amen to this. It's been 18 months since separation, 2.5 years since we were civil; I miss the small things - the good mornings and good nights.


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## angelpixie

Unique Username said:


> I miss it...but not enough to settle.


^^^ This. So much this. I didn't get married to end up alone, that's for sure. I enjoyed having someone to do things with, to plan with, even just to watch TV or a movie with and laugh together, etc., etc... But I'm too much of a realist. I no longer romanticize my life to the point of forgetting all of the time I spent lonely in the same room with my husband, all the time I spent twisting myself into knots in order to 'keep' him. 

There is a freedom in being able to live on your own and being able to love yourself for who you are. Once you reach that point, I think it will be easier to find peace whether you're married or not. There is a lot of mythology connected to marriage. Many of the things we wanted in marriage can also be obtained in other relationships.


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## Pbartender

Unique Username said:


> I miss it...but not enough to settle.


And I'm lonely, but I ain't that lonely yet.


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## tulsy

I don't miss anything about my marriage or my ex-wife....not a damn thing. The longer we're apart, the more I hate having to deal with her at all (we only have contact for the kids). I can't believe I ever put up with her crap.

From time to time she tries to start some kind of contact with me outside of our relationship as parents, but I`ve been down that road with her too many times...no contact unless it`s about the kids, period. Otherwise, she just uses me for her benefit and I am always the person who gets hurt. It was never a mutual 50-50 situation...it only ever involved her taking, so I no longer give.

I have a caring, fun, beautiful and energetic woman in my life, and the last 3 years with her have felt longer and more enjoyable than the 16yrs I was with my ex. 

I actually live life these days. I travel multiple times a year, all over the world. I exercise 5/6 days a week and eat healthy foods. I cook often, and I`m getting great at it. I go out dancing with friends, having a blast. I have sex when I want to and it`s freekin fantastic. I have a great relationship with my kids and see them all the time. I set goals and reach them, and dream up new goals all the time. I`m a new man, and I love being alive.

In many ways, marriage was killing me and who I am. No, I don't miss that.


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## Stretch

I miss travelling to freezing New England for the holidays, NOT.

I miss the family tension at the holidays, NOT.

I miss the inconvenience of finding someone to take care of the dog while freezing in Massachusetts, NOT.

I miss feeling like second fiddle to my in-laws, NOT.

I miss having sex once a month instead of several times per week, NOT.

I miss taking the dog out in a cold rain, NOT.

Happy New Year Stretch, Happy New Life Stretch!

Looking forward,
Stretch


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## whitehawk

stillhoping said:


> I agree, its the ordinary things I miss. Someone else to take care of some of the chores, the occasional smile, hug, kiss. The everyday dialogue, what did you do today, who did you see, what do you want to do this weekend. The knowing someone is worried about your arrival, if you even come home, etc. After 30 years in a relationship, that still feels so strange. I could be anywhere in the world and no one knows where I am.



God yeah , l so miss all that stuff. lt's so strange now because l often have to drive across state for work. lt was always a crack up being bombarded with text all the way there and back and soooo good to get home to the girls.

l often think your exact words now , l could be anywhere and no one knows.
lsn't it a revolting feeling.
Although l have started telling my D when l'm going now and ringing her to and from. Being only 11 when we separated l didn't want to worry her earlier.
Funny thing is now she tells mum and they will both often text me if l'm away again now. Even ex always asks how it went and odds and ends but l'm always in touch with d now .
Hate getting home to an empty house though.


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## whitehawk

Stretch said:


> I miss travelling to freezing New England for the holidays, NOT.
> 
> I miss the family tension at the holidays, NOT.
> 
> I miss the inconvenience of finding someone to take care of the dog while freezing in Massachusetts, NOT.
> 
> I miss feeling like second fiddle to my in-laws, NOT.
> 
> I miss having sex once a month instead of several times per week, NOT.
> 
> I miss taking the dog out in a cold rain, NOT.
> 
> Happy New Year Stretch, Happy New Life Stretch!
> 
> Looking forward,
> Stretch



Did you divorce the dog too :rofl:


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