# Need a man's opinion.



## *everafter* (Nov 7, 2010)

My stbxh and I have been separated for about 2 months now but are still living in the same home.
He can't tell me why he wants a divorce other than he fell out of love with me. 
I'm almost certain he does not have an affair.
I haven't worked for a while due to our kids being so little and couldn't help out financially until now, so I guess this has been a huge contributor to him falling out of love.
I love this man to death and want to try everything to make him fall in love with me again.
But I'm a stuck on how to go about it.
Is it more appealing to men to cater to his every need or to make myself less available.
Do I go out and do things for myself like go to the movies, out with friends and to the gym or would that drive him further away from me thinking I'm fine with the pending divorce or will it spark his hunting senses? 
Or would it be smarter to just be the perfect housewife, cook and clean and be available?
I don't know what to do.
What do you think?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

*everafter* said:


> Or would it be smarter to just be the perfect housewife, cook and clean and be available?
> I don't know what to do.
> What do you think?


 I am not a man, but ....

Was you the pefect housewife, cook & house keeper BEFORE this? If he is someone who apprecaites a very clean house 
etc , and you lacked these skills, by all means, Do these things, show you are a changed woman, you desire to please him, but dont' stop there.... 

If he felt you were too naggy, too needy, then YES, go to the gym (especially if you are a little overweight?), take up with friends, be less available & show him how happy You are. These things are attractive. 

Men want a confident self assured woman who can handle the home, finances and provide them a happening sex life.


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## *everafter* (Nov 7, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I am not a man, but ....
> 
> Was you the pefect housewife, cook & house keeper BEFORE this? If he is someone who apprecaites a very clean house
> etc , and you lacked these skills, by all means, Do these things, show you are a changed woman, you desire to please him, but dont' stop there....
> ...


I want to think I was a good housewife before. I had to take care of our two little ones in addition to it so it wasn't perfect, but it was good.
I am overweight. I want to lose weight. It's hard to find time with the kids though since they're a little high maintenance . And so far he didn't have to take care of them often. 
I worry that if I try to be the perfect housewife and always available I'd be not interesting enough for him to fall in love with me again.
He's a very sexual oriented person. I think my so not sexy appearance is turning him off. Can't blame him, right?
On the other hand I'm worried that he will totally check out of this marriage if I start taking better care of myself, go out, work out and make myself not available so much anymore.


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## lbell629 (May 10, 2010)

and he might totally check out - but if what you're doing now isn't working then something needs to change. But you need to start taking care of yourself and getting yourself better for you and feeling better about yourself. Most gyms have childcare - can you put your kids in there while you work out, or get some stuff to do at home. Go out with your friends and have fun, start dressing a little nicer for you. Do the things that make you feel good. As you start to feel better and gain self confidence it might bring him around.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

lbell629 said:


> Most gyms have childcare - can you put your kids in there while you work out, or get some stuff to do at home.


 If you happen to have Comcast Cable and ON DEMAND, they have a variety of Exercise programs to do -all day & all night by the click of a button. It is hard to get into this habit & stick with it, but so worth it. And then you can be home for him too, not making yourself too unavailable.


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