# Confused - divorce inevitable?



## Flowers1 (Oct 4, 2014)

Hi,

New here...need somewhere to turn for advice from people who've been through similar situations.

Been married 7 years. Have a 2 year old child. Married my husband without having any "spark" or passion for him - I don't mean to sound rude, that's just the truth. He's a great man and wonderful partner...just doesn't light my fire. In the beginning, I justified it by "he's such a good person, he'll be a great father"...etc, etc. Throughout our marriage, my gut told me the lack of sexual interest in him meant it wasn't right between us. We had talked about divorce several, several, several times....he says he needs more affection from me, interest in sex, etc. He obv doesn't know how I truly feel because it will kill him. But now I feel like I'm at a point of no return. I've been out with friends and have hidden my ring.....there are other things that have happened that I'm not proud of, too. I never wanted to go through with divorce because I was very concerned with what my family would think (they love him)...and was also thinking "maybe this is just how it is?"

Now my concern is that we have a young child. My husband works and is gone for several days every week. If I could look into the future and know a divorce wouldn't negatively affect our child, I'd do it. I know there's no answer for that....but this is where I'm at right now. Is it possible that our child may not see much of a difference between us being divorced versus being together, given that my husband is gone 3-4 days every week for work?

I can't imagine living the rest of my life with someone I don't want to be intimate with. (It's not normal to wish you could be going out with other men) But it KILLS me to think I might change my sweet child in some way because of a selfish decision.


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## lancaster (Dec 2, 2013)

I do not know what to tell you. I can only speak of my experience. For me I would rather my son see his parents grow up happy and apart, rather then unhappy and together. 

I am sure the end of my marriage will have some repercussions on my child, but being raised in a loveless marriage is probably not healthy either.

I do not know what the right answer is, that is something you will have to figure out over time. All the best to you.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I think as soon as some strange guy sweet talks you... you are going to become someone you never wanted to be.

Your in a dangerous place in your marriage and thats how cheating starts. get out with honor and show your kid a healthy relationship.

You don't want your kid to grow up thinking that you and your old man are what a healthy marriage is..... I mean you want your kid to have healthy relationships with the oppisite sex...right?


Well don't give your kid an example of an unhealthy relationship by sticking this out. They will think it's normal to be cold and distant to someone they love.....and thats phucked up!


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

lancaster said:


> I do not know what to tell you. I can only speak of my experience. For me I would rather my son see his parents grow up happy and apart, rather then unhappy and together.
> 
> I am sure the end of my marriage will have some repercussions on my child, but being raised in a loveless marriage is probably not healthy either.
> 
> I do not know what the right answer is, that is something you will have to figure out over time. All the best to you.


I was raised in an unhealthy marriage and it didn't do me any favor with my own marriage.

Sure blameshift my own crap with my old lady on my parents......but like I said.....it didn't help either


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