# Why doesn't he get that it's over?



## Goodwoman (Dec 11, 2009)

So, the problems have existed for years, and several months ago I hit my bottom of no more chances to give for my H. There are several thinga, but the main one has been his lack of being around and I stead of "working," he was going to strip clubs to the point of getting their phone numbers and hanging out with them outside of the club, and when I finally looked at his phone, several numbers went back to escort services (which he swears he has never touched or slept with anyone else....no, I don't believe that one ). So, one in particular I found in Oct 14, and kicked him out. Then, in May, I found several texts of him thinking of her while he was in a meeting and to send him pics of various perfect parts of her and he wanted to see her, blah blah blah. That was it for me, and we separated. Since then, nothing is changed. He is still doing the same stuff, and still hanging out with this **** (I saw a selfie on her in stag ram she took in his brother's old house a week ago). But, I'm making a mistake in leaving him?! He will not leave me alone, and I have tried to explain to him that he has a problem and it isn't me not wanting to fight for our marriage....this isn't he 5th time at least of me finding stuff like this over the years, and despite being discovered and booted, he still continues the same behavior. I'm done giving chances, and don't think that is at all a mistake. 

So, how do I make him leave me alone and get it? To top it off, I'm expecting soon and so I cannot get a divorce until the child is born. I don't think a piece of paper is going to make him go away either. I'm just tired of the same conversation and him stressing me out with the excuse that "I've never wanted him, and just looked for an excuse." He said he's sorry, but I don't want to fight for us. My thing is, buddy you had 4 other chances before the 5th, I'm done fighting for us, because nothing changes. He has physically threatened me (not actually done anything), will blow up, and then the next day acts like nothing happened. We have other kids, so I do have to deal with him to that extent, but keep asking him to keep to that. I can't even forgive him, and he doesn't get that either. I think he's a narcissist.


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## DayOne (Sep 19, 2014)

Goodwoman said:


> To top it off, I'm expecting soon and so I cannot get a divorce until the child is born.


 Almost three years after this all happened. The strip club thing, escorts, nekkid selfies, and you're still together? And pregnant? 

Who's not getting that it's over, exactly?


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

No reason to prolong the relationship given the history. 

How much of your needs have been met over this time? Was the focus always on him? 

Likely so and that is NOT a true relationship.

I would go NO CONTACT with him. The more space you get, in your head, you can start to evaluate the relationship. 

I know, for me, the distance is a good thing. I want a partner not a manchild.


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