# Poll for Men choosing between porn or a partner.



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I thought it would be interesting to see what men would choose if they were up against the wall to choose between a partner and porn, hypothetically.

View Results by hitting the "View Results" button next to "Cast Vote" above.


----------



## moco82 (Jul 16, 2012)

Assuming the frequency of option #2 is within your acceptable range?


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

For #2 I assumed that if the partner is not into sex they become a new partner. In order to work on this I haven’t looked at porn now in 49 days and don’t plan to ever again.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Kudos, CCP, for working on it!


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

moco82 said:


> Assuming the frequency of option #2 is within your acceptable range?


No. Assuming you chose the partner for better or worse, which is how marriage usually goes over time. Things change in a normal partnership.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I left the option to change your vote if you need to.


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

I need a third option then which is no porn but also ability to replace a partner who becomes unwilling to participate over time. I think I can still stick with my #2 though if forced to the constraints of the poll as is.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

ccpowerslave said:


> For #2 I assumed that if the partner is not into sex they become a new partner. In order to work on this I haven’t looked at porn now in 49 days and don’t plan to ever again.


No. It's one partner, not a series of partners.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

ccpowerslave said:


> I need a third option then which is no porn but also ability to replace a partner who becomes unwilling to participate over time. I think I can still stick with my #2 though if forced to the constraints of the poll as is.


No third option, sorry. This is a real-life partner, and they don't always stay willing or able over time, as we've seen on this forum many times, despite the best intentions. It's just a hypothetical.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

ccpowerslave said:


> For #2 I assumed that if the partner is not into sex they become a new partner. In order to work on this I haven’t looked at porn now in 49 days and don’t plan to ever again.


yay well done.


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

How about an option for both? Few things in life are either/or. Given my wonderful current spouse, I'd choose them over porn. However, I'd also replace them as I don't believe marriage needs to be for life if needs aren't being met.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

No. This is about committing to a lifetime with a partner or a lifetime of porn. Not a lifetime of disposable partners to keep the porn alive.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Partner of course.

I do require my partner to always be willing even if unable.

As long as her heart desires I am satisfied.


----------



## The IT Guy (Oct 17, 2020)

Can't and won't do porn. Lifetime partner for me.


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

A spouse or partner like you'd normally attract. 
Look at this realistically, I'm 5'6" tall and 55 years old. There is no such thing as a partner I'd normally attract. So C The easter bunny and santa claus.


----------



## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

Mr. Nail said:


> A spouse or partner like you'd normally attract.
> Look at this realistically, I'm 5'6" tall and 55 years old. There is no such thing as a partner I'd normally attract. So C The easter bunny and santa claus.


Despite the comic relief at the end, I’m guessing you really believe this — that there is no such thing as a partner you’d normally attract.

I suspect you are wrong. There are billions and of women in the world. You’re view of yourself has been twisted by one.


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Prove it.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Or he might have unrealistic taste in women.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I do hope everyone realizes this is a real partner, one who will have days she won't be up for it, not a fantasy partner....


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I do hope everyone realizes this is a real partner, one who will have days she won't be up for it, not a fantasy partner....


No Cherry2000?!?!???!!!😋


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)




----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Is that your dream woman?


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I do hope everyone realizes this is a real partner, one who will have days she won't be up for it, not a fantasy partner....


apparently you refuse to realize


----------



## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

I can live without either, but I voted for the partner. After all, my memory and imagination is as good as porn.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Mr. Nail said:


> apparently you refuse to realize


Realize what?


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

PieceOfSky said:


> There are billions and of women in the world.


roughly 4 billion
it's a bit under that but by 2023 it should hit that mark.
now 4 billions looks like a lot but there are other factors.
I mentioned height and age let's throw those in.
about 50% of women in the world are 40 or younger. it is well known that practically every woman in the world regards any man 15 years older than them to be a creep.
we don't know what a creep is but we can ret assured that they are not attractive. we are down to 2 billions.
a random sampling of dating profiles will show you that roughly 85 % of women are only attracted to men who are well over average height which in this country is 5'11" now this is self reported data.
that leaves 300 million worldwide. Now that is still a huge number but is it a realistic number. Lets assume I know every person who lives in my state roughly 2 million people Which I don't but for arguments sake. Theoretically less than 4% of those people would be a woman who was attracted to me. So 75 thousand. Now you will come back and try to disallow the short man argument because you know one Australian BS Artist who claims tremendous success and a lot of other improbable things so I'll toss in another 1% and 1% for girls with daddy issues. 76,500
then all we have to work out is the removal of women who have different religious requirements, taste in music or movies, or food. and you will find that of every possible person that I am likely to meet there are about 10 that would be attracted to me. 
So when you insist that I choose between 10 candidates that are somehow a real partner and not a FANTASY, and an endless supply of pornography. Well it's a pointless choice if you get to choose between nothing, and pictures of something, that is a choice between nothing and nothing. 
So what was the point of this poll? I choose the nothing you offer.


----------



## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Mr. Nail said:


> roughly 4 billion
> it's a bit under that but by 2023 it should hit that mark.
> now 4 billions looks like a lot but there are other factors.
> I mentioned height and age let's throw those in.
> ...


I thought you were married?


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Yes livvie I am in a married relationship with no emotional needs met and no real commitment. And with zero prospects, I'm still here.


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Mr. Nail said:


> roughly 4 billion
> it's a bit under that but by 2023 it should hit that mark.
> now 4 billions looks like a lot but there are other factors.
> I mentioned height and age let's throw those in.
> ...


I think you are relying far too much on your intellect and not enough on your feelings and heart with this...you need to just GO and MAKE something happen for yourself! And I think you can do it, IF you want it enough...!!


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Mr. Nail said:


> Yes livvie I am in a married relationship with no emotional needs met and no real commitment. And with zero prospects, I'm still here.


CHANGE it...!!!


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

LisaDiane said:


> I think you are relying far too much on your intellect and not enough on your feelings and heart with this...you need to just GO and MAKE something happen for yourself! And I think you can do it, IF you want it enough...!!


Well I could except @DownByTheRiver said we could only use the fantasy spouse that she approved.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I said this poll wasn't using a fantasy spouse or a disposable one but a real-life realistic one you could GET.


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

DownByTheRiver said:


> real-life realistic one you could GET.


catastrophic existence failure ie. FANTASY


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Mr. Nail said:


> Yes livvie I am in a married relationship with no emotional needs met and no real commitment. And with zero prospects, I'm still here.


So you're married but you're looking for prospects? That's nice. And that's going to be why you don't get any because women aren't normally lined up to be with a guy who's married.


----------



## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

DownByTheRiver said:


> So you're married but you're looking for prospects? That's nice. And that's going to be why you don't get any because women aren't normally lined up to be with a guy who's married.


I think he is saying he stays in his marriage because he thinks he will have no other prospects if he gets divorced.

I'd rather be single than in a **** marriage but not everyone shares that opinion.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

ConanHub said:


> View attachment 72933


You'd have to have nerves of steel to go out with her!!


----------



## Imperfections (Nov 26, 2020)

DownByTheRiver said:


> women aren't normally lined up to be with a guy who's married.


I am not sure this is technically true..


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Well, you get into some pretty seedy women if they are willing to go out with fully married guys, but be my guest. Maybe that's how it's supposed to work.


----------



## Luminous (Jan 14, 2018)

DownByTheRiver said:


> You'd have to have nerves of steel to go out with her!!


At least she demonstrates good grip when it comes to rockets...


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Impressive! 😄


----------



## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

DownByTheRiver said:


> No. Assuming you chose the partner for better or worse, which is how marriage usually goes over time. Things change in a normal partnership.


To zero? Once a year? Zero hand holding, sitting next to each other on a couch, a kiss on the lips, a warm touch on the shoulder? And not interested in the least in changing anything, quitting MC because she doesn’t like having any accountability for anything?


DownByTheRiver said:


> So you're married but you're looking for prospects? That's nice. And that's going to be why you don't get any because women aren't normally lined up to be with a guy who's married.


Ridiculous. I was going to ask earlier why you created this poll and thread, and would find it “interesting”. But, I think I have a glimpse now.

This was your poll, responded to exclusively or almost exclusively by married men. Hypothetical, remember? Where you get to put inhumane “realistic” constraints.

I’ve never heard @Mr. Nail seriously suggest he is looking for someone in order to leave his wife. I’ve heard him suffering in a marriage where his needs are neglected, but he stays, at least in part, because he expects he won’t be able to do better. Low self esteem. Fear etc. Now he gets to receive your harsh judgement too.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

_Hey he's the one that came on here saying he couldn't get women because he's five six and 55 years old. It wasn't until I read a post directed at him that I found out he's actually married. 

It's a hypothetical poll. Get over it. Inhumane, God._


----------



## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

DownByTheRiver said:


> _Hey he's the one that came on here saying he couldn't get women because he's five six and 55 years old. It wasn't until I read a post directed at him that I found out he's actually married.
> 
> It's a hypothetical poll. Get over it. Inhumane, God._


You seem to be the one whose lost track this is hypothetical. Did I misunderstand, or do you think Mr. Nail is actually trying to line up sex partners?

Yes, I think it’s inhumane to expect people to stay with people who end up becoming non-active participants in a relationship. It’s a strange choice of alternatives to me, and I’m not sure what you are trying to learn from it.

I don’t see how “unlimited porn” is in any way a relevant alternative to basically a “partner that changes for the negative over time”.

Are you asking if people would have rather been single, than exist in a bad marriage for the rest of their lives, if they had pondered before hand that most people change?


----------



## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I do hope everyone realizes this is a real partner, one who will have days she won't be up for it, not a fantasy partner....


There are some here that have real partners who are not up for it ever again. Some of those partners even claim “It’s not you, it’s me.”

Real and fantasy both vary across individuals. They can also vary significantly for the same pair of individuals over time.


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I left the option to change your vote if you need to.


Life is always relative.
Some relatives are felt, so ugly, they are hidden in the closet when guests arrive.

My _Typist_ is one such relative!!

At least, to the rest of us who must endure his dalliances.
................................................................

Today's world is _pretty_ much, _ugly_, as in, anything goes.
Meaning, you can find a partner who agrees, or who is shocked by nothing, is numb, whereby debauchery is no longer a perversion.

This is what pornography has done to the masses.
Graphic pornography was once only the perview of girly magazines and in artworks.
You had to purposely seek out those types of magazine, images or videos, mostly found at those Sin Strip locales, those brick-and-mortar smut palaces.

Now, this world is easily found, with a few easy clicks from a young, or old persons fingertips.
A few clicks away, takes you into another meaning of sexuality.

It is, no holds barred, everything is bared and laid out.
Puns intended.

Drugs and drug addiction accelerated this many billion dollar industry.
Poverty in third world countries force many women into the prostitution life.

In Western countries, it is also the easy money, and quick profits, and a lack of 'old fashioned' morals.
Much of Eastern Europe has gone back to Bohemianism. 

A healthy relationship is the ideal, for me.


_Are Dee-

_


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Or he might have unrealistic taste in women.


What an understatement!


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Mr. Nail said:


> roughly 4 billion
> it's a bit under that but by 2023 it should hit that mark.
> now 4 billions looks like a lot but there are other factors.
> I mentioned height and age let's throw those in.
> ...


You worry too much.

Woman are very capable of compromising when it comes to a mates appearance.
Mature women look at the whole package, viz, looks, character, personality, stability, finances, etc.

As, are men.
I want a Ferrari, but will compromise on a Ford Explorer, or, a F150.

Most women will opt for a man at least as tall as them, or a little taller.
There are many short women out there.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

_sings Winter Wonderland_

My neighbors hump, and I'm listening
My ---- is hard, its head is glistening
A beautiful sight, I squeeze it real tight
I love to choke my chicken with my hand

My balls are blue, my ---- is smokin'
I grab my rod, and start a-strokin'
It's a sight to behold when I'm shootin' my load
I love to choke my chicken with my hand

People like to say that I'm a loner
It's been said that I am very sick
'Cause all I do is sit and stroke my boner
But I wouldn't if my tongue could reach my ----

With each yank, I perspire
I shoot my load ever higher
I won't even mind if I end up blind
I love to choke my chicken with my hand


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

No normal, healthy man is going to prefer pint over a flesh and blood human. 

And it has nothing to do with what kind of partner someone would attract. 

People don’t watch prom because the people are prettier than their partner. 

They do it because porn is available 24/7, doesn’t cost anything, you don’t have to talk to it or be nice to it. It’s never sick or not in the mood and never rejects you.

Anyone that would consciously pick porn over a flesh and blood partner is simply too lazy to put in the effort or too weak to leave someone that is no longer attracted to them and no longer wants to have sex with them. 

It is the weak and lazy man’s concubine.


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

And the only kind of woman that would give me the time of day and the only woman I would commit to would be sex-positive and open minded and would enjoy watching certain kinds of porn together. 

I would never be with a closed minded, sex-negative, anti porn, man-hater that had been ruined sexually by religious and feminist propaganda and religious anti sex programming.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Don't forget that you are able to change your votes if you need to once you understand that trading out partners isn't part of the lifetime partner choice. 

This isn't a topic about whether you would dump your wife if she didn't want sex every time you want it. I think that's been sufficiently covered elsewhere in the forum over and over again. A lifetime commitment inevitably means everything is not always going to be perfect. So if you can't make the lifetime partner choice in this poll without assuming it's a fantasy partner, I'd rather you changed your vote or removed it.


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

We have a taker for porn!


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

I would certainly hope that no one would “commit” to porn and choose that over flesh and blood people for life.

I fear for humanity if there are people that would consciously forgo human interaction for porn forever.


----------



## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

oldshirt said:


> I would certainly hope that no one would “commit” to porn and choose that over flesh and blood people for life.
> 
> I fear for humanity if there are people that would consciously forgo human interaction for porn forever.


Well, I'm confused. Time and time again on this forum I've heard men state that it's their right to use porn (paraphrasing) and _they won't give it up and they won't be with someone who doesn't want them using it_.

Also---I think there are men who will say they would choose the partner and never use porn but in reality I think they'd use porn, too.


----------



## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

oldshirt said:


> would certainly hope that no one would “commit” to porn and choose that over flesh and blood people for life.


For some, it's not really a choice. The responsibilities, work, sacrifices required by marriage are all they get. None of the reward of "flesh and blood people" has ever been available to them. They have relegated themselves to simply choosing a less costly alternative.


----------



## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

Unlimited porn use -effortless in many ways, so to me convenes a path of little growth in all we would wish to attain as we interact with a present life.


A spouse or partner like you'd normally attract. -while a promised challenge as dedicated partners can be without patience and understanding, this allows us to grown in learning healthy connections and brings to the surface the unhealthy ways we allow to interfere in the growth that porn would isolate.

I love physical contact, touch is one of my love languages... unlimited porn would be to deny who I truly am over lustful emotions that would grow an unhealthy distant relationship with myself.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

ccpowerslave said:


> We have a taker for porn!


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

oldshirt said:


> I would certainly hope that no one would “commit” to porn and choose that over flesh and blood people for life.
> 
> I fear for humanity if there are people that would consciously forgo human interaction for porn forever.


Honestly I'm impressed with the poll, like already there's numerous stories of people preferring mannequins and dolls to real life partners. And they have their reasons too.


----------



## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

Livvie said:


> Well, I'm confused. Time and time again on this forum I've heard men state that it's their right to use porn (paraphrasing) and _they won't give it up and they won't be with someone who doesn't want them using it_.
> 
> Also---I think there are men who will say they would choose the partner and never use porn but in reality I think they'd use porn, too.


I agree... but the question is in absolutes.

Easy choice for some, for others shades of grey help mask as desires become normal.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

RandomDude said:


> _sings Winter Wonderland_
> 
> My neighbors hump, and I'm listening
> My ---- is hard, its head is glistening
> ...


cough, cough


----------



## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

I guess I'd like to know....if your partner provides you with a happy, connected, mutual sex life at a reasonable frequency, would men be willing to give up porn?

Should I start a spin off thread for this question?


----------



## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

Mr. Nail said:


> roughly 4 billion
> it's a bit under that but by 2023 it should hit that mark.
> now 4 billions looks like a lot but there are other factors.
> I mentioned height and age let's throw those in.
> ...


but all you need is the one who will get attracted to you. just one.... There are women who do not care about height. I have a friend who is 5'3 and wants to be able to look her guy straight into his eyes, doesn't need anyone hoovering over her....


----------



## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

Livvie said:


> I guess I'd like to know....if your partner provides you with a happy, connected, mutual sex life at a reasonable frequency, would men be willing to give up porn?
> 
> Should I start a spin off thread for this question?


that would be much more realistic question... But on the other hand, why not watch porn together?..


----------



## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

WandaJ said:


> that would be much more realistic question... But on the other hand, why not watch porn together?..


Because a lot of guys don't want to watch it with their partner.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Is that your dream woman?


LoL! I thought Melanie was pretty sexy but not my dream girl.

I do have a thing for tough girls however....


That B rated sci fi adventure was about a guy who did have his dream woman but it turned out she was a robot. A model Cherry2000 like the title says.

The whole adventure takes place because his robo woman breaks and he can't find the part to replace to make her functional again without going into dangerous territory and so he hires super tough girl Melanie Griffith to be his guide/body guard into the danger zone to get the spare part.

During their adventure, Melanie falls for him and he starts getting the feels for her as well.

It is a cheesy movie that actually had a good lesson about the difference between the perfect woman and a real girl with flaws but a real heart as well.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Luminous said:


> At least she demonstrates good grip when it comes to rockets...


I do appreciate a good grip on a woman when it comes to handling guns and other weaponry....😉


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

ConanHub said:


> I do appreciate a good grip on a woman when it comes to handling guns and other weaponry....😉


Ja wohl!
Like das zweihander!


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

I used to work with a married couple, both in their late 40's. The wife found out she had cancer and her health deteriorated. When she was sick and bed ridden from cancer, her husband took the nicer of their 2 vehicles and bailed on her. She got married but basically died alone. 

In my experience, very few people are capable of staying with one partner "until death do we part." Most will stay as long as their so-called needs are met or until they find someone they think is better. This is why our relationship culture has become like that of revolving doors.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

That's just unconscionable. No one's needs justify that.


----------



## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

Livvie said:


> Because a lot of guys don't want to watch it with their partner.


Probably even more women...


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Enigma32 said:


> I used to work with a married couple, both in their late 40's. The wife found out she had cancer and her health deteriorated. When she was sick and bed ridden from cancer, her husband took the nicer of their 2 vehicles and bailed on her. She got married but basically died alone.
> 
> In my experience, very few people are capable of staying with one partner "until death do we part." Most will stay as long as their so-called needs are met or until they find someone they think is better. This is why our relationship culture has become like that of revolving doors.


I would love to locate that gentleman, have a nice long talk and walk in the woods, and return alone....


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

ConanHub said:


> I would love to locate that gentleman, have a nice long talk and walk in the woods, and return alone....


I'd love to watch it. I broke off with a 40-year woman friend for cheating on her husband who had been bed bound with spinal cancer for a few years. I told her why and everything. I mean I understand that after that many years she was going nuts because it was a heavy burden for her and her son. And she's an attention ho to begin with. Well I just didn't want to hear about her banging the handyman. And she was not just banging him but she was getting real wrapped up in the drama and jealous of a lady he had on a pedestal and obsessing about it. I just had to let her go.


----------



## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Mr. Nail said:


> Yes livvie I am in a married relationship with no emotional needs met and no real commitment. And with zero prospects, I'm still here.


The fact that you remain in such a relationship is entirely down to you choosing exactly that. If you want a different outcome, make different choices.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

oldshirt said:


> I would certainly hope that no one would “commit” to porn and choose that over flesh and blood people for life.
> 
> I fear for humanity if there are people that would consciously forgo human interaction for porn forever.


There are people who make this choice. Probably more than you realize.


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

EleGirl said:


> There are people who make this choice. Probably more than you realize.


It boggles my mind. 

I’m not anti porn and even think it can have value and have its place. 

But how anyone can choose it over a willing flesh and blood partner simply boggles my mind. 

I’ve said this here before, but I think the anti porn movements of the ‘80s was way off the mark.

Back in the 1980s there was a strong anti porn movement and their platform at the time was porn would create marauding bands of rapists and mashers. 

But what’s its actually created is basement dwellers that are spanking all the time and not even interacting with real people.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

A lot of the people who choose porn, it's because they are too either anxious or lazy to get out of their basement and get out in the real world. Before porn was so easily accessible, there was a lot more incentive for them to have some momentum and overcome anxiety. Of course the catch-22 is the internet is partly to blame for the anxiety to begin with.


----------



## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

DownByTheRiver said:


> A lot of the people who choose porn, it's because they are too either anxious or lazy to get out of their basement and get out in the real world. Before porn was so easily accessible, there was a lot more incentive for them to have some momentum and overcome anxiety. Of course the catch-22 is the internet is partly to blame for the anxiety to begin with.


For someone who created a poll looking for honest answers, you are sure very opinionated in your quest for truth.


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

DownByTheRiver said:


> A lot of the people who choose porn, it's because they are too either anxious or lazy to get out of their basement and get out in the real world. Before porn was so easily accessible, there was a lot more incentive for them to have some momentum and overcome anxiety. Of course the catch-22 is the internet is partly to blame for the anxiety to begin with.



Probably a lot of truth in all of that. 

In my youth there was no internet porn to keep me entertained in my mom’s basement. I had to actually go out and do things- which brought me in to contact with real women.

And since I didn’t have the internet telling me that no women would give me the time of day since I wasn’t 6’2” and didn’t have a six pack or make at least six figures, I actually went out on dates with real women.


----------



## Luminous (Jan 14, 2018)

oldshirt said:


> Probably a lot of truth in all of that.
> 
> In my youth there was no internet porn to keep me entertained in my mom’s basement. I had to actually go out and do things- which brought me in to contact with real women.
> 
> And since I didn’t have the internet telling me that no women would give me the time of day since I wasn’t 6’2” and didn’t have a six pack or make at least six figures, I actually went out on dates with real women.


And that opens a whole set of issues...

With the advent of the internet, and more recently social media/online dating, instead of people competing with others in their locality for dating, it is now global, and with that can come a sense of 'entitlement' that they 'deserve the best of the best' because, well, some internet schmuck told me so, without also telling them to raise their own 'bar' to be worthy of the best.

Getting back to the topic at hand, when standards are raised to the point that it seems almost impossible to meet, it would not surprise me that people (especially men) turn to porn. Exposure to the internet has indeed created an almost epidemic of anxiety in alot of people. 

I'm not saying it is an ideal situation, but when there is so much pressure on people (moreso young people) to be a certain standard that is not possible for most, I sympathise.

I can also see the other side of the coin with it effecting expectations of people's sex lives when in a relationship.

With everything, education is the key here, and something I think is severely lacking from many parents, and educational facilities.

As mentioned by others, it could be due to laziness, but I thought another perspective on the matter might expand on this topic, rather than settling for the 'broad brush' approach.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

EleGirl said:


> There are people who make this choice. Probably more than you realize.


OMG welcome back! Where have you been?

And you posted here of all places


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

DownByTheRiver said:


> A lot of the people who choose porn, it's because they are too either anxious or lazy to get out of their basement and get out in the real world. Before porn was so easily accessible, there was a lot more incentive for them to have some momentum and overcome anxiety. Of course the catch-22 is the internet is partly to blame for the anxiety to begin with.


During my teens the internet was just coming out and everything downloaded at like 1kb/s. But it didn't stop the flood of porn into our lives. In fact you type in one wrong letter and boom! Bewbies in your face lol. And being the perverted boys we were we all visited the most perverted ones of our group who downloaded collections of porn and burns them on the old CD drives for us lol.

But I guess the previous generation before us relied on what? Playboy magazines? lol


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

oldshirt said:


> Probably a lot of truth in all of that.
> 
> In my youth there was no internet porn to keep me entertained in my mom’s basement. I had to actually go out and do things- which brought me in to contact with real women.
> 
> And since I didn’t have the internet telling me that no women would give me the time of day since I wasn’t 6’2” and didn’t have a six pack or make at least six figures, I actually went out on dates with real women.


Yeah. Not much chance of building real confidence and self-esteem if you don't get out in the real world and accomplish things, even the small things like making friends and talking to women.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

RandomDude said:


> During my teens the internet was just coming out and everything downloaded at like 1kb/s. But it didn't stop the flood of porn into our lives. In fact you type in one wrong letter and boom! Bewbies in your face lol. And being the perverted boys we were we all visited the most perverted ones of our group who downloaded collections of porn and burns them on the old CD drives for us lol.
> 
> But I guess the previous generation before us relied on what? Playboy magazines? lol


I remember how hard it was to avoid porn on the early internet. If you opened up a real estate email it had porn inside. Before internet, there were also movies you could buy or pay-per-view.


----------



## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> During my teens the internet was just coming out and everything downloaded at like 1kb/s. But it didn't stop the flood of porn into our lives. In fact you type in one wrong letter and boom! Bewbies in your face lol. And being the perverted boys we were we all visited the most perverted ones of our group who downloaded collections of porn and burns them on the old CD drives for us lol.
> 
> But I guess the previous generation before us relied on what? Playboy magazines? lol


Going back in time … Before Playboy, there were other magazines although much less accessible. And there’s been porn on film since film was invented. Plus, live shows if you knew where to find them. Before movies and magazines there were engravings and paintings. Porn has always been around for a select few in a select place since the beginning of time. Now it’s available 24/7. When it was rare, many women weren’t aware it even existed because it wasn’t discussed and was much more hidden away. It was considered, if known about by women, as part of men’s nature and ignored along with lots of other stuff that men did and women disagreed with. But things are much different now. The disagreement about porn isn’t going away. And the next generation of porn will be even more of a battle.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I have to say I'm pretty sure women were well aware that it existed and didn't like it any better than than they do now especially in their home. Kids find everything.


----------



## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I have to say I'm pretty sure women were well aware that it existed and didn't like it any better than than they do now especially in their home. Kids find everything.


The thing is, it's SO accessible now, one can watch it on their phone, anytime, anywhere.


----------



## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

Enigma32 said:


> I used to work with a married couple, both in their late 40's. The wife found out she had cancer and her health deteriorated. When she was sick and bed ridden from cancer, her husband took the nicer of their 2 vehicles and bailed on her. She got married but basically died alone.
> 
> In my experience, very few people are capable of staying with one partner "until death do we part." Most will stay as long as their so-called needs are met or until they find someone they think is better. This is why our relationship culture has become like that of revolving doors.


but there are also many couple who stay by each other in situations like this. This is not really a norm.


----------



## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I have to say I'm pretty sure women were well aware that it existed and didn't like it any better than than they do now especially in their home. Kids find everything.


Some, possibly, may have known. I don’t think women in general knew. But I doubt they said anything if they knew. Blind eye to the “men will be men” stuff. Certainly true in my conservative part of the country in those days. And if kids found it they likely wouldn’t have told an adult. Sex was definitely a taboo subject then. It’s obviously a much different world now.


----------



## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

WandaJ said:


> but there are also many couple who stay by each other in situations like this. This is not really a norm.


In my observation, yes to staying and no to leaving.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Openminded said:


> Some, possibly, may have known. I don’t think women in general knew. But I doubt they said anything if they knew. Blind eye to the “men will be men” stuff. Certainly true in my conservative part of the country in those days. And if kids found it they likely wouldn’t have told an adult. Sex was definitely a taboo subject then. It’s obviously a much different world now.


I'm 68 and I knew we're all the porn was in our house and in the shed out behind the house. So that was the fifties and sixties. My mom definitely knew about it and didn't like it in the house because she knew the kids would find it. I mean it was magazines, and your dad is reading them so of course the kids know you have it. I knew where the rifle was too. There's no privacy when you have kids.


----------



## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I'm 68 and I knew we're all the porn was in our house and in the shed out behind the house. So that was the fifties and sixties. My mom definitely knew about it and didn't like it in the house because she knew the kids would find it. I mean it was magazines, and your dad is reading them so of course the kids know you have it. I knew where the rifle was too. There's no privacy when you have kids.


I’m older than you and my situation was different. I’m not aware of anyone who had porn in the 1950’s. It wasn’t that common yet. Shotguns were another story.


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

WandaJ said:


> but there are also many couple who stay by each other in situations like this. This is not really a norm.


From my experience, most people are cheating or always looking for the bigger, better deal. I have married women that have tried to hook up with me, and my female friends I know have an inbox full of unanswered DM's from married guys. Maybe someone will stick around while you're sick but how long before they are texting someone else and meeting up on the side?


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Enigma, that's what I think too. Of course in that situation they're not going to admit they're cheating because it would reflect so bad on them. but yeah it doesn't get any worse than to just get up and abandon them.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

And the 50s and 60s, porn was sold in newsstands. Every skyscraper had one. So for a time it wasn't visible in for example grocery stores but then it became available if you asked for it under the counter at various places like drug stores.


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

DownByTheRiver said:


> And the 50s and 60s, porn was sold in newsstands. Every skyscraper had one. So for a time it wasn't visible in for example grocery stores but then it became available if you asked for it under the counter at various places like drug stores.


Fast forward to 2020 and I have female friends on OnlyFans telling everyone about how great it is to not have a real job and trying to convince other ladies to just start out by posting pics of their feet.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

They have a way higher creep tolerance than I do.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> OMG welcome back! Where have you been?
> 
> And you posted here of all places


It's been a weird time. I've been helping one of my brothers who has had serious health problems. Then, TAM locked me out for some time. It kept sending login keys to my email, but the keys did not work. 

But even with those things, I've been here a lot, just not posting much.


----------



## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

Openminded said:


> In my observation, yes to staying and no to leaving.





Enigma32 said:


> Fast forward to 2020 and I have female friends on OnlyFans telling everyone about how great it is to not have a real job and trying to convince other ladies to just start out by posting pics of their feet.


well, and there are many that won’t even know what OnlyFans are. ... 
with your experiences that you use as an example of the norm, I would suggest change of friends /environment??


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

WandaJ said:


> well, and there are many that won’t even know what OnlyFans are. ...
> with your experiences that you use as an example of the norm, I would suggest change of friends /environment??


My thoughts as well. I've seen plenty of bad behavior in my friends group but there are some class acts as well.

Mrs. Conan and I are classy of course.😉🤠


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Just because you know of something doesn't mean those people are your friends. Certainly when you get to be my age you've seen it all, and you're not straining to look at the world through rose colored glasses like you are when you're young and dating.


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

WandaJ said:


> well, and there are many that won’t even know what OnlyFans are. ...
> with your experiences that you use as an example of the norm, I would suggest change of friends /environment??


Just because I choose to hide from something won't make it go away, I'll just be unaware of it.


----------



## moco82 (Jul 16, 2012)

DownByTheRiver said:


> No. Assuming you chose the partner for better or worse, which is how marriage usually goes over time. Things change in a normal partnership.


Life is indeed a gamble.


----------

