# Fatherhood and examples...



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Another thread actually reminded me of a little situation we have right now. My daughter is awesome, plain awesome, and the terrible twos turned out to be awesome twos. Don't know why, maybe the spirits are kind to me being a new daddy.

Regardless, I'm worried about some of my antics. I still remember once when I was playing with my daughter then the missus walked past and complained over some crap or some rather (I can't remember) and I... (please don't hate me...) got my daughter to put up the middle finger at her own mum while she walked off.

So far I've been lucky, she was very young at that time, and has not made it a habit. But darn... what was I thinking?!?! Regardless the missus is also worried that I'm going to spoil my kid as I've told her my plans for the future and she's pissed about me being "money-hungry" or some crap and ironically a lot of the reasons behind it is wanting a grand future for my daughter. I want her to be the queen of the world!

ARGH... do I need parenting classes? I'm new at all this!!! All I know is that I love her so much >.<


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Random Dude, you know what I love about your posts, you are so Freaking HONEST & OPEN-- about your faults too. You just gotta love that about a person, even if they screw up once in a while. 

My 4 yr old son is a royal handful. I can blame it on the video games he sees his older brothers play, but honesty me & his dad are a little at fault too. He seems to literaly PICK up bad words -like telepathy and wants run his mouth in speaking them. 

Once watching "the Paper Chase" on TV (not an rated R movie by any means), over an hour he is sitting there intently - quietly, not a peep, then all of a sudden the main character, a College student, says to his Professor ..."you are a son of a B____" , and you know he looked at us and said "You are a son of a B____" , we shouldn't have laughed at this -- but we did! Not exactly the right thing to do . He enjoyed using that phrase for a time. We were afraid to take him to Church. 

Once we was in a Barnes & Noble store , I was off looking at books, while husband & the kids were in the children's section , they were playing with wooden trains, an older son rammed his choo choo & he wants to scream & can't seem to find the right words so he settled on one that he shouldn't have ....."a bu da sh ......F**K! " I heard it clear in the other section & just thought to myself "There is my little boy!" - time to get outta here fast! Some lady gave my husband a dirty look, pretty embarrasing. 

What are you going to do. Did we think it was funny. Accually we did - even enjoy telling it to our friends, probably because he was only 3 and didn't know what he was saying of coarse. 

I dont really want fowl mouthed teens. And yeah, we shouldn't be laughing either I suppose. 

We make mistakes along the way. But parenting can be so much fun -even if our kids aren't the little angels we envision. I love my little devil, his antics are quite entertaining at times. But am I going to put my kids in the corner, relentless time outs for a few happenings like this. Naaahhh. As he grows & KNOWS what he is saying & doing, this will grow also. 

Just like you are thinking back about that time - you did it in the heat of an argument, it was a way to release steam, she was too young to comprehend anything, I seriously DOUBT you will be doing that again when she is 5 and beyond. 

I mean, we have to be careful what we say around them to some extent, but being REAL before them is very important too- at least this Mother feels so. Best to get ourselves under control so we are a good example. Always. Children also do not expect perfect parents -all the time. 

My advice about spoiling, don't go overboard, then she will "expect", even demand, remember who her MOM is!! Just poking you there! Ha ha Think another one of her growing up !! That ought to settle that. 


I never spoiled my kids with things or much of anything, they need to work & earn stuff, this has helped them be very responsible with $$ & how they handle themselves around others. 

MY step sis said her MOM never gave her anything (didn't raise her but raised me) , so when she had her son, she was determined to give him THE WORLD to make up for what she didn't have. I remember he would not eat her food & she would run him to McDonalds many times a week, buy salami to munch on -junk food, anything he wanted. I warned her she is going to RUIN him and he'll be putting a leash on her in future years. Fast forward 12 yrs, he is near a Juvenile delinquent, expects her to JUMP for him, gets in trouble at school, lies, she made a monster by giving him everything all his life, he came to expect it, then when she wanted to put some rules down, He hated her for it. 

Just a fine line.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

I'm with SA on spoiling. If you go overboard you create an entitled brat. All my in-laws have money and their kids are horrid. I can't stand to be around any of them. Everything is handed to them and they appreciate nothing. Ick.

I've got 3 kids and thankfully I don't have the money to spoil them but even if I did I wouldn't do it. They are very sweet and appreciate every little thing I do for them because well I've raised them well.


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