# New partner but separated...



## cw1970 (Jan 28, 2012)

Hi, this is a pretty complicated scenario and tbh it's driving me insane working out what to do!

A bit of background... I was with my ex 23 years. It was an odd relationship, we were never really suited but we had 3 kids and I think that held us together, I've no doubt we would have split otherwise. The last 10+ years were like 2 people living in the same house, we hardly spoke and there was no intamacy there at all and we've never had anything in common etc... Anyway, for some reason 5 years ago she suggested we get married and I said fine, I kinda felt she should have her day and I didn't imagine we would ever go our own ways.

A year ago, with all of my kids grown up, I realised what was ahead of me. I was tired of my life, the clock was ticking and I was going to reach 80 and realise how unhappy I had been all those years. Eventually I left in March after months of arguements.

A couple of months after I started seeing someone else. She is polar opposites to my ex (lets be clear I am not putting my ex down in anyway, she is who she is and I still care about her, just dont love her the same). I have been seeing this girl for nearly 8 months but my family have no idea. Unfortunately I didn't discuss divorce with my ex so I have not even started that process yet. To add to the complication, my new girl is also separated and going through divorce!

I have struggled with guilt, I have missed my kids even though they are grown up and I hardly saw them but nostalgia is a terrible thing! But I have made a decision about my life and I want to be with my new partner. The problem is we just want to get on with our life together now but it seems we can't because of the divorces. I want to move in with her and start building our home, she wants that to but is worried about the money and finances etc...

I'm getting tired of living in a state of limbo and just want to be happy.

What's more important, money or happiness? I'd rather be broke and happy than rich and unhappy!!

So has anyone else had serious relationships whilst separated? I love this girl, she loves me... should be easy right?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

So, what's the problem? Start the divorce proceedings, since it doesn't sound like you want to go back.

C


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