# Going on domestic strike



## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

She says she is going on domestic strike till her husband learns to:
put his dirty clothes in the washing basket
empty the kitchen bin without waiting to be asked
cut the lawn without prompt
take their dog for a walk 
Help their children with homework. 

What is domestic strike? 
no cleaning, no cooking, no washing of clothes, no ironing, no sex, no discussions, no participation in family life. just read news on line and watch youtube vids and ignore the family like he does. 

What if he does not notice you are on strike? Have you told him? 

He will notice when there is no dinner on the table and the children are hungry. 

This was the conversation between three girls in the canteen at work


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

The parry to "domestic" strike is Financial strike. Stop the money flow.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Rubix Cubed said:


> The parry to "domestic" strike is Financial strike. Stop the money flow.


Might work if the dude in question is the sole breadwinner.



MaiChi said:


> ...this was the conversation between three girls in the canteen *at work*


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## FalCod (Dec 6, 2017)

Better hope that he doesn't bring in a replacement worker


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

Sometimes a domestic strike is a good tool to show your spouse all that you do and get them to add some of the chores to their daily routine in fairness. Sometimes it just makes a spouse dig their heals in more. It all depends on the spouse. 

A one week strike can do wonders in opening the eyes of a partner to realize all that you do all week. But a strike used to manipulate and create a battle is just going to get both partners more angry at each other.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

This is what drives me mad. Women telling friends and coworkers about their and their husbands personal lives. 
Now we have a situation where this motormouth has broadcast loud enough for anyone in the canteen to hear that her husband won’t be having any sex until he does more around the house. 
If he ever meets her co-workers and one of them makes a smart ass comment he will realize he is the laughing stock of her workplace. 
She is one dumb *****!


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## EveningThoughts (Jul 12, 2018)

If he sits at home, zoning out by being online, whilst she keeps the plates spinning, then I'm not surprised that she has become resentful.

Doesn't sound like she is asking for that much from him: empty the bin, walk the dog, cut the grass, put your dirty clothes away, take an interest in your children's schooling, without being asked.

My own mother went on strike when we were early teens. In fact she never came back off it. She was doing the Lions share as well as working and she finally had enough. 
I don't blame her one bit.

Unfortunately the resentment and build up that brings people to this point isn't as easy to reverse.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

FalCod said:


> Better hope that he doesn't bring in a replacement worker


Why not? I mean who wouldn't want a live-in maid, chef, landscaper, tutor....one who does this all for free AND who brings home a paycheck. 

Think about all of that free time for @maichai friend. She just might be horny all of the time. Not so sure about the replacement though.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

While I agree with putting your foot down, talking about it with coworkers isn't a great idea.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

FalCod said:


> Better hope that he doesn't bring in a replacement worker


That sounds AWESOME.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

MaiChi said:


> She says she is going on domestic strike till her husband learns to:
> put his dirty clothes in the washing basket
> empty the kitchen bin without waiting to be asked
> cut the lawn without prompt
> ...


If I were part of this convo I think I would roll my eyes. Learn some EFFECTIVE limit setting skills ma dudes. And letting the children go hungry in protest? Please.


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## AandM (Jan 30, 2019)

MaiChi said:


> She says she is going on domestic strike till her husband learns to:
> put his dirty clothes in the washing basket
> empty the kitchen bin without waiting to be asked
> cut the lawn without prompt
> ...


Why are they married? Seriously? If this account is correct, then he can't adult, and she cannot communicate. Why do these people get married? For the wedding shower gifts? I mean, Lysistrata is a great play and all, but...


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

I allowed a cat hairball to sit on the stairs for a month, while my wife tried to prove a point. She eventually cleaned it. 

But seriously, as someone who previously did about 5% of the household and child duties whether my wife was working or not, a strike isn't going to work. At least not for me. It made me go from 5% contribution to 0%, but I was an a-hole.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

Andy1001 said:


> This is what drives me mad. Women telling friends and coworkers about their and their husbands personal lives.
> Now we have a situation where this motormouth has broadcast loud enough for anyone in the canteen to hear that her husband won’t be having any sex until he does more around the house.
> If he ever meets her co-workers and one of them makes a smart ass comment he will realize he is the laughing stock of her workplace.
> She is one dumb *****!


 I have 0 respect for people who use their spouses as punching bags and punch lines at the work water cooler.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

"If I were part of this convo I think I would roll my eyes. Learn some EFFECTIVE limit setting skills ma dudes. And letting the children go hungry in protest? Please."

This. Seriously. Whether her gripes are legitimate or not, all she has proven is that she has the coping skills of an 8 year old.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

we have a cleaning crew come in once a week. It costs $100, but they clean the whole house from top to bottom in an hour, and especially pick up and organize all the clutter. 

Maybe instead of the two of them arguing, they hire a cleaner, and she will have extra time for more important ****...than watching youtube


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Talker67 said:


> we have a cleaning crew come in once a week. It costs $100, but they clean the whole house from top to bottom in an hour, and especially pick up and organize all the clutter.
> 
> Maybe instead of the two of them arguing, they hire a cleaner, and she will have extra time for more important ****...than watching youtube


But that doesnt resolve the issue that the H keeps refusing to contribute.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

In many situations it just won't work. 

Barring the problem is a layabout H that doesn't work or pay the Bill's. If he's a layabout that's a more severe problem and domestic strike isn't enough. 

If H is a solid responsible person, good job, takes care of bills, but:

Just misses the hamper time to time, W may point out trash has to go out although he'll likely get to it but she likes to remind him; W just wants him to feel like he never does enough....well that's a different story.

Even DW reminds be trash has to go to the curb on x day, even though she knows I'll do it on the way out or earlier in the morning. I just say yep, I'll get it, or have done already.

I've never let that be a trouble spot. She likes to say it. I don't really care that she does. 

Other things she may ask me to do I'll flat say no. Others I'll say not now. But we have minimal things like this. Sometimes I say absolutely. But we've found our groove.

About a W going on a "domestic" strike, that never really works. It's a symptom a better communicated problem and solutions offered discussion is needed.

For any domestic issue, this can be what would happen:

"I'm not cooking you supper" H answers ok I'll be back shortly, goes out to eat. Every time. 

"Mow the lawn" H if not already, hire a a lawn service. (I already do, many do)

"I'm not washing your clothes, you don't organize them like I insist, and you miss the hamper" H says ok, and just drops his clothes of at the cleaners with his dry cleaning, machine washable come back neatly folded and tied in stacks. Even underwear is folded.

Don't clean the house? H gets a cleaning service.

There's nothing caring for H's domicile that he can't get done.

I had all these things when I was single. I'm not dependent on a W to have a good place to live. W took over at her desire.

We had a small issue on cooking. I don't cook at all, besides some very few times I'll make bacon/eggs.

I like to eat at regular scheduled time in evenings unless working. 

Our issue early on was I'd ask what's for supper, if she said I'm not cooking till later, or if any other reasons, I'd go out to eat right that minute. Everytime without fail.

Sometimes that lead to me staying out a bit, but only when very young. Now I eat and come home on the very rare times nowadays. And DW doesn't get mad that I do. She used to get hopping mad, because I wouldn't go into kitchen and make my own supper. 

But I don't feel I should have to make my own supper. 

I got in the habit when single, and traveling, of just sitting down to eat whenever I got hungry. Not cooking, which I just don't like to do. Coupled with being a little old fashioned, I admit I believe a man's wife should be primary cook. (Go ahead, shoot me now) as long as man is doing all the caretaking in his roles in the relationship. 

All this is said for:

Beware of domestic striking with a man who takes care of himself anyway.

If you don't do something, he won't crumble. Pffttt. 

It just frees up his time, until he has too much spare time, and may otherwise fulfill actions the W may also be striking on.

A man won't necessarily respond the way an SO may think.


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## sh987 (Oct 10, 2013)

My sister-in-law often goes on strike, but I'll be damned if I can tell the difference between those times and when she's "working" around the house. As far as I can tell, her domestic chores consist of yelling at my brother and swiping on her phone. Naturally, my brother thinks that if he does just a little bit more around the house, she'll be easier to deal with, but the opposite happens. The more he does, the worse she gets, like any spoiled child.


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## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

NobodySpecial said:


> FalCod said:
> 
> 
> > Better hope that he doesn't bring in a replacement worker
> ...


Might be a sex worker 🙂


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

Honestly, this whole "on strike" thing is just playground childishness. Same as when a man stops taking his wife to dinner or acknowledging her presence because they didn;t have sex last week.

It's passive aggressive whiny cowardice.

Grow up and communicate.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

MaiChi said:


> - snip -.
> 
> What is domestic strike?
> no cleaning, no cooking, no washing of clothes, no ironing, no sex, no discussions, no participation in family life. just read news on line and watch youtube vids and ignore the family like he does.
> ...


Holy domestic tranquility, Batman, My wife has been on strike for years!

And I didn't notice :yawn2:


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

GusPolinski said:


> Might work if the dude in question is the sole breadwinner.


 I was going more by this:



> What is domestic strike?
> no cleaning, no cooking, no washing of clothes, no ironing, no sex, no discussions, no participation in family life. *just read news on line and watch youtube vids *and ignore the family like he does.


 and the assumption (as all of this is) that her idea of ignoring the family is him working his tail off to support them. The tale you read here often.


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## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

Rubix Cubed said:


> The parry to "domestic" strike is Financial strike. Stop the money flow.


She was talking about it at work, which means she works, so the flow of money cannot be used as a control tool in this case. In UK life is too expensive to have women just stay at home without their own income. There are some, but they tend to be those who finished school early and started having sex early too.


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## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

personofinterest said:


> Honestly, this whole "on strike" thing is just playground childishness. Same as when a man stops taking his wife to dinner or acknowledging her presence because they didn;t have sex last week.
> 
> It's passive aggressive whiny cowardice.
> 
> Grow up and communicate.


Totally agree, but some men/women do not listen to their spouses at all and the spouse gets frustrated. What should she/he do? 

I would not ever think to strike. It sounds like a lose lose situation. But what would I do if my spouse chose to become a family cretin? I am not sure


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

MaiChi said:


> She *was talking about it at work*, which means she works, so the flow of money cannot be used as a control tool in this case. *In UK life is too expensive to have women just stay at home without their own income.* There are some, but they tend to be those who finished school early and started having sex early too.


 You just contradicted yourself. If she can't stay at home and not work then his money could be used as a control tool, unless she can completely support herself.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Andy1001 said:


> This is what drives me mad. Women telling friends and coworkers about their and their husbands personal lives.
> Now we have a situation where this motormouth has broadcast loud enough for anyone in the canteen to hear that her husband *won’t be having any sex until he does more around the house*.
> If he ever meets her co-workers and one of them makes a smart ass comment he will realize he is the laughing stock of her workplace.
> She is one dumb *****!


Um, in the OP, it did not say that the woman at work talked about withholding sex.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

MaiChi said:


> She says she is going on domestic strike till her husband learns to:
> put his dirty clothes in the washing basket
> empty the kitchen bin without waiting to be asked
> cut the lawn without prompt
> ...


Since you can talk to the woman, maybe you can ask her what it means to her and if she has talked to her husband about the issues. This might be an act of desperation on her part because he does not hear her when she does talk. Sometimes it takes action to get your point across.

I did a domestic strike of sorts once... well it lasted for a long time. My husband complained about my cooking, no matter what I made. If I made something with a sauce, he complained that sauce was a waste of calories, etc. If the food had no sauce, he complained that it was dry. He'd sit there eating and *****ing. And yes, I talked to him many times about this but it accomplished nothing. Then one night the tossed the food off his dish at me. I told him I'd never cook for him again. After that I only cooked for myself and our son... for 5 years. When I started cooking again, he did not complain. He would actually complement what I cooked. He got the point.

There are some things that a person can do to get through to a spouse who will not do a fair share of domestic chores. For example stop doing their laundry. Her husband is a grown man, he can wash his own stuff. She can stop cooking for him, just cook for herself and the kids. If he won't share with shopping, or trade to do something to help take the burden off her, she can only buy what she and the kids need. If he wants something, he can go to the store on his own. If he leaves messes around the house, a solution is to have a box or basket for his junk and just throw it in the box/basket. If he wants to put his stuff way he can. If the box fills up, toss it all out (after warning him) so you have a place to put anything else he leaves around.

Basically she can stop being his mommy.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> Um, in the OP, it did not say that the woman at work talked about withholding sex.


I believe it was covered in this paragraph:

"What is domestic strike?
no cleaning, no cooking, no washing of clothes, no ironing, *no sex*, no discussions, no participation in family life. just read news on line and watch youtube vids and ignore the family like he does."

And, it is posted in the SIM forum.:grin2:


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> In many situations it just won't work.
> 
> Barring the problem is a layabout H that doesn't work or pay the Bill's. If he's a layabout that's a more severe problem and domestic strike isn't enough.
> 
> ...


Your position is understandable except for the bolded. That smacks of entitled, spoiled princess. Good thing your wife doesn't mind being the designated kitchen wench.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

MaiChi said:


> Totally agree, but some men/women do not listen to their spouses at all and the spouse gets frustrated. What should she/he do?
> 
> I would not ever think to strike. It sounds like a lose lose situation. But what would I do if my spouse chose to become a family cretin? I am not sure


Well if she ever comes here, I have some thoughts for her depending on her situation. Much earlier in our marriage, I had what I think was quite a similar situation.


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## Lakesparrow (Mar 17, 2019)

Two years ago my h lost his job. I worked at a juvenile detention ctr. They had incentives and I immediately began working at least 80 hrs a week. Sometimes more. I tried to keep either 1 weekend day off or to only work 8 he shifts on wknds to have time for chores. I ate 3 meals a day at work. But came home to all the dishes from h and adult child. On my day off they would head out for fun and I would clean and do laundry. This went on for a year. during which I threw my shoulder out and had some injuries at work. Which I hid because I couldn't afford to not work. Finally I decided to finish my degree and take a better paying job. And now I work 40 hrs awk. and drive uber. I don't think the house will wmevent fully recover from my vacation from housework. He literally bought new socks instead of washing his.

As for *****ing to coworkers of course we do. they're our only friends beside the washing machine. I don't have time for friends and a life. I'm at work or at the damned oven or doing the lawn work or taking his mom to dinner.

I've already decided if I divorce my husband I don't want the big house. I want a small cheap place and a car w good gas mileage and interesting well spoken men to try on for size now and then whose socks I never have to wash. And I want a kayak. and enough savings to go see some sights and camp and maybe finally practice my french in actual France.

It took me 40 years and a BA to admit I'm smart, low maintenance hard working and hot...and honestly I don't know why women marry at all after reading the responses on this thread. My dog is more loyal and straightforward about his s%$t than most men I've ever met. And he's never made me cry.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Blondilocks said:


> Your position is understandable except for the bolded. That smacks of entitled, spoiled princess. Good thing your wife doesn't mind being the designated kitchen wench.


This is my new favorite expression “Kitchen Wench”
Before today is out I will use it. >


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Lakesparrow said:


> Two years ago my h lost his job. I worked at a juvenile detention ctr. They had incentives and I immediately began working at least 80 hrs a week. Sometimes more. I tried to keep either 1 weekend day off or to only work 8 he shifts on wknds to have time for chores. I ate 3 meals a day at work. But came home to all the dishes from h and adult child. On my day off they would head out for fun and I would clean and do laundry. This went on for a year. during which I threw my shoulder out and had some injuries at work. Which I hid because I couldn't afford to not work. Finally I decided to finish my degree and take a better paying job. And now I work 40 hrs awk. and drive uber. I don't think the house will wmevent fully recover from my vacation from housework. He literally bought new socks instead of washing his.
> 
> As for *****ing to coworkers of course we do. they're our only friends beside the washing machine. I don't have time for friends and a life. I'm at work or at the damned oven or doing the lawn work or taking his mom to dinner.
> 
> ...


Your family showed you zero respect and appreciation. Does your husband have a job now? If so, divorce his sorry ass and kick that kid out of the house. If not, have him get one - any kind of job and then divorce him. 

How does your husband account for his total lack of contribution to the house and family?


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Lakesparrow said:


> Two years ago my h lost his job. I worked at a juvenile detention ctr. They had incentives and I immediately began working at least 80 hrs a week. Sometimes more. I tried to keep either 1 weekend day off or to only work 8 he shifts on wknds to have time for chores. I ate 3 meals a day at work. But came home to all the dishes from h and adult child. On my day off they would head out for fun and I would clean and do laundry. This went on for a year. during which I threw my shoulder out and had some injuries at work. Which I hid because I couldn't afford to not work. Finally I decided to finish my degree and take a better paying job. And now I work 40 hrs awk. and drive uber. I don't think the house will wmevent fully recover from my vacation from housework. He literally bought new socks instead of washing his.
> 
> As for *****ing to coworkers of course we do. they're our only friends beside the washing machine. I don't have time for friends and a life. I'm at work or at the damned oven or doing the lawn work or taking his mom to dinner.
> 
> ...


I've got a Kayak if you don't have a Kindle.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Double post


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Originally Posted by Ragnar Ragnasson:

In many situations it just won't work. 

Barring the problem is a layabout H that doesn't work or pay the Bill's. If he's a layabout that's a more severe problem and domestic strike isn't enough. 

If H is a solid responsible person, good job, takes care of bills, but:

Just misses the hamper time to time, W may point out trash has to go out although he'll likely get to it but she likes to remind him; W just wants him to feel like he never does enough....well that's a different story.

Even DW reminds be trash has to go to the curb on x day, even though she knows I'll do it on the way out or earlier in the morning. I just say yep, I'll get it, or have done already.

I've never let that be a trouble spot. She likes to say it. I don't really care that she does. 

Other things she may ask me to do I'll flat say no. Others I'll say not now. But we have minimal things like this. Sometimes I say absolutely. But we've found our groove.

About a W going on a "domestic" strike, that never really works. It's a symptom a better communicated problem and solutions offered discussion is needed.

For any domestic issue, this can be what would happen:

"I'm not cooking you supper" H answers ok I'll be back shortly, goes out to eat. Every time. 

"Mow the lawn" H if not already, hire a a lawn service. (I already do, many do)

"I'm not washing your clothes, you don't organize them like I insist, and you miss the hamper" H says ok, and just drops his clothes of at the cleaners with his dry cleaning, machine washable come back neatly folded and tied in stacks. Even underwear is folded.

Don't clean the house? H gets a cleaning service.

There's nothing caring for H's domicile that he can't get done.

I had all these things when I was single. I'm not dependent on a W to have a good place to live. W took over at her desire.

We had a small issue on cooking. I don't cook at all, besides some very few times I'll make bacon/eggs.

I like to eat at regular scheduled time in evenings unless working. 

Our issue early on was I'd ask what's for supper, if she said I'm not cooking till later, or if any other reasons, I'd go out to eat right that minute. Everytime without fail.

Sometimes that lead to me staying out a bit, but only when very young. Now I eat and come home on the very rare times nowadays. And DW doesn't get mad that I do. She used to get hopping mad, because I wouldn't go into kitchen and make my own supper. 

* But I don't feel I should have to make my own supper. *

I got in the habit when single, and traveling, of just sitting down to eat whenever I got hungry. Not cooking, which I just don't like to do. Coupled with being a little old fashioned, I admit I believe a man's wife should be primary cook. (Go ahead, shoot me now) as long as man is doing all the caretaking in his roles in the relationship. 

All this is said for:

Beware of domestic striking with a man who takes care of himself anyway.

If you don't do something, he won't crumble. Pffttt. 

It just frees up his time, until he has too much spare time, and may otherwise fulfill actions the W may also be striking on.

A man won't necessarily respond the way an SO may think.




Blondilocks said:


> Your position is understandable except for the bolded. That smacks of entitled, spoiled princess. Good thing your wife doesn't mind being the designated kitchen wench.


 @Blondilocks

She gave in to this one thing. �� and I admitted it right away, this is a little old school. Not really the princess thing you may be alluding to.

The trade off if I was doing the trade off thing; she's never fixed a car in our marriage, or; mowed the lawn, built any additions, sheds, cut down trees, loaded/unloaded furniture, bought new cars, paid mortgage, electric, utilities, insurance, and so on and so forth.

Yet I've coached kids sports, been PTA president, changed diapers here and there, taken kids mothers day shopping every year, always made her family welcome, host get togethers, taken her dancing, out, always been her biggest fan, always shared she is fully capable of doing anything she sets her mind to, always suportive.

Always protected her health and well being, safety, etc.
And when any health issues; shop, do cook then, and make sure she has anything she needs.

And she's done the same for me.

It's all a team effort.

We each just have our normal niches.

So it may not quite be what you think. But I understand the reasoning you may go there. 

We have to all remember everything isn't as cut and dried as may appear.


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## FieryHairedLady (Mar 24, 2011)

"He will notice when there is no dinner on the table and the children are hungry."

She needs to leave the kids out of it. Take care of the kids no matter what!

Kids need to be fed and taken care of.


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## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

sh987 said:


> My sister-in-law often goes on strike, but I'll be damned if I can tell the difference between those times and when she's "working" around the house. As far as I can tell, her domestic chores consist of yelling at my brother and swiping on her phone. Naturally, my brother thinks that if he does just a little bit more around the house, she'll be easier to deal with, but the opposite happens. The more he does, the worse she gets, like any spoiled child.


He needs to record her yelling like that and send the recording to her with the caption: 
"i got shouted by a stranger today!" 
it might make her realise how ridiculous she sounds. I have never understood the value of shouting. If your spouse cannot hear you when you talk normally, he/she is not going to hear you when you shout. Its not the loudness that causes the reaction. It is the content of the conversation.


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## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

Lakesparrow said:


> Two years ago my h lost his job. I worked at a juvenile detention ctr. They had incentives and I immediately began working at least 80 hrs a week. Sometimes more. I tried to keep either 1 weekend day off or to only work 8 he shifts on wknds to have time for chores. I ate 3 meals a day at work. But came home to all the dishes from h and adult child. On my day off they would head out for fun and I would clean and do laundry. This went on for a year. during which I threw my shoulder out and had some injuries at work. Which I hid because I couldn't afford to not work. Finally I decided to finish my degree and take a better paying job. And now I work 40 hrs awk. and drive uber. I don't think the house will wmevent fully recover from my vacation from housework. He literally bought new socks instead of washing his.
> 
> As for *****ing to coworkers of course we do. they're our only friends beside the washing machine. I don't have time for friends and a life. I'm at work or at the damned oven or doing the lawn work or taking his mom to dinner.
> 
> ...


Too sad for words. Total disrespect.


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## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

Andy1001 said:


> This is my new favorite expression “Kitchen Wench”
> Before today is out I will use it. >


What do you suppose is the converse of Kitchen wench?

It is my contention that the world's best kitchen operatives are men. Every restaurant I have visited has always had a male cook and some of them are very good. So it makes sense to have the men cook at home. 

I like cooking but I have friends who really cannot cook at all. 
I also know some women whose house keeping skills are such that if they were left to look after the house, their families would die from dirt and filth. In cases like that the man should take over if they cannot afford a cleaner.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

MaiChi said:


> What do you suppose is the converse of Kitchen wench?


A really cut dude in a tool belt?


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

MaiChi said:


> What do you suppose is the converse of Kitchen wench?
> 
> It is my contention that the world's best kitchen operatives are men. Every restaurant I have visited has always had a male cook and some of them are very good. So it makes sense to have the men cook at home.
> 
> ...


My wife is fine with the cleaning but when it comes to cooking she could burn a salad. 
I’m not fussy about food and I eat very simply,as long as the meat isn’t underdone then I’m fine.
It’s just as well lol.


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## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

Rubix Cubed said:


> You just contradicted yourself. If she can't stay at home and not work then his money could be used as a control tool, unless she can completely support herself.


And so is her money. 

People only use money as a control tool if there is not enough of it. In UK money is not a very strong tool between genders. Single women with say 4 children earn a lot more money from the state than married women with the same number of children, or working women. There would be a point when it would be cheaper to throw the lazy man out, and women do.


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## AandM (Jan 30, 2019)

MaiChi said:


> What do you suppose is the converse of Kitchen wench?
> 
> It is my contention that the world's best kitchen operatives are men. Every restaurant I have visited has always had a male cook and some of them are very good. So it makes sense to have the men cook at home.
> 
> ...


Considering that I just finished cleaning the kitchen, after cooking dinner wearing our Audubon apron, I vote Food Dude.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Lakesparrow said:


> Two years ago my h lost his job. I worked at a juvenile detention ctr. They had incentives and I immediately began working at least 80 hrs a week. Sometimes more. I tried to keep either 1 weekend day off or to only work 8 he shifts on wknds to have time for chores. I ate 3 meals a day at work. But came home to all the dishes from h and adult child. On my day off they would head out for fun and I would clean and do laundry. This went on for a year. during which I threw my shoulder out and had some injuries at work. Which I hid because I couldn't afford to not work. Finally I decided to finish my degree and take a better paying job. And now I work 40 hrs awk. and drive uber. I don't think the house will wmevent fully recover from my vacation from housework. He literally bought new socks instead of washing his.
> 
> As for *****ing to coworkers of course we do. they're our only friends beside the washing machine. I don't have time for friends and a life. I'm at work or at the damned oven or doing the lawn work or taking his mom to dinner.
> 
> ...


Crap!

There was a 6 month period of time about 3 years ago where I couldn't work.

My wife got a 40 hour a week job and she never lifted a finger in our house.

She got foot massages, dinner and generally pampered every night.

Your husband is a loser and so is the adult kid.

I hope you stop slaving for them.


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## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

AandM said:


> Considering that I just finished cleaning the kitchen, after cooking dinner wearing our Audubon apron, I vote Food Dude.


Why not

"Kitchen Dude " or 
"Domestic Dude" or 
"Care Dude "

Food Dude sounds like someone who sits all day and eats. LOL


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## AandM (Jan 30, 2019)

MaiChi said:


> Why not
> 
> "Kitchen Dude " or
> "Domestic Dude" or
> ...


Nothing is perfect. At least it rhymes.


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## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

personofinterest said:


> "If I were part of this convo I think I would roll my eyes. Learn some EFFECTIVE limit setting skills ma dudes. And letting the children go hungry in protest? Please."
> 
> This. Seriously. Whether her gripes are legitimate or not, all she has proven is that she has the coping skills of an 8 year old.


I Agree on the last sentence, but I also know that there are people whose communication skills are very poor either as talkers or as listeners. If you are unfortunate enough to end up married to such a person, what really are your options? The reason some people end up thinking about these drastic methods is that the other or them do not know what else to do or say. 

I have seen a man who lets a baby cry with a wet nappy or worse all day till the mother comes home from work. Some even asks the neighbour to come and change the nappy. 

Then again I have heard about men who when the wife is at work clean up the house and as soon as she comes in she grabs the vacuum cleaner and vacuums not noticing he has already done it. I do not think he would do it again. All that is required is learning to talk to one another at the ratio of two ears and one mouth.


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