# Struggling to cope



## RedWolf468 (Jan 8, 2013)

Hi, I hope this is the right place to post this, I just feel like I need someone to talk to.

I've been married for a year and a half and I'm currently 7 months pregnant. My husband had been being a bit distant recently and I was finding it hard. I've been sleeping on the sofa because he's been rearranging our bedroom, its been taking him a while to do and things have been blocking the door so I haven't been in there. A few days ago it came up on my facebook feed that he'd liked a picture of our friends ex girlfriend in her bikini. This girl not only broke up with our close friend in a rather nasty way but has been trying to upset him by flaunting her new boyfriend in his face etc (she's a good friend of another of her friends so we still see her occassionally) she's also been talking down to me and trying to exclude me from my friends because I've been talking to her ex.

Anyway, I thought it was strange that he'd liked this picture as he'd been saying how he couldn't stand how she was treating our friend. The picture he liked was 4 years old and yet he was saying that his phone must have done it by accident in his pocket. I didn't believe him but I was mostly upset because I felt humiliated, there I am, waddling around because I'm having his baby and he's looking at pictures of someone who goes out of her way to make me and my friend feel bad. 

Two days later he came to me and admitted that he'd gone onto her pictures to make a nasty comment about how she looks etc so she'd know how it felt. But as he was telling me I knew he was lying and said as much. He broke down and admitted he'd been masturbating over her. Now I know why I've been sleeping on the sofa for 2 weeks and not been able to get to our bed. He says that he was doing it over her because it was a rush to do it over someone I don't like who was "dangerous" he was turned on by the fact he could get caught doing it and said he must have pressed like by accident. I still love him and I don't want to be without him, but this photo is far back in her albums so he must have looked through lots of her photo's. He says he doesn't have feelings for her and he did something stupid because he's feeling stressed about being a first time dad. But how do I get past it? I haven't shouted at him (we do argue sometimes but it normally helps us in the long run) I just cried. He's blocked her on facebook so he can't even re-add her and says he's going to make extra effort to look after me and be a good dad. Do I believe him? He's done a few things like this before but never this bad - a few months before our wedding he had a sex dream about my best friend and freaked out, but he told her about it and not me. Sorry for the long message, I just feel too embarrassed to talk about this to my friends.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

At the very least he was warped priorities and I suspect a sex addiction issue. His thought process and actions are wrong.

What he needs is counseling and an accountability program. My suggestion is simple- either he gets proper help and sets up some serious accountability or you have to either live with a betraying spouse or seek a divorce as it will only get worse.

The one plus is that, for now, he is willing to confess some of what he has been doing.


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

Get back in you own bed asap! You are 7 months pregnant & a bed is more comfortable than a couch. He can't stop you with his rearranging BS. 

It's totally ridiculous that he is blocking the bedroom door so you can't get in. What the f__k is wrong with some people?

On top of the above, he is trolling old pics of this girl in her bikini then masurbating over them & has done this in the past.

Yup, he has issues. I think he needs counseling & you need to set up some boundaries. Maybe after the baby is born. You are too far along to be all stressed out over his ridiculous behavior.


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## IsGirl3 (Nov 13, 2012)

He says he's going to make an extra effort to look after you. How is that going? He's going to have to really make the effort to prove to you that he really loves and cherishes you. He literally blocked a 7 months pregnant woman out of her own bedroom? He is very immature. Maybe you two are very young, but that sounds like something a 12 year old might do to a little brother. 

I am sorry you are going through this at such an emotional vulnerable time. If you think he does have a sex addiction, like the thatbpguy thinks, part of your husband's effort should be therapy.

Good luck.


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

Get back in bed with him.

Tell him, if he needs to masterbate over pics because you are prego.. then he needs to buy a girly magazine, or go look at unknown girls on a bikini site. He crossed the line when he did it to someone you know. He crossed the line by talking about the sex dream with that girl instead of you.

In his mind, does he think it's okay to cheat if his mind is involved with these women & he is "liking" them at the time??????


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