# Does a lie detector test work?



## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

Does a lie detector test actually work? Any thoughts welcome. Not only on the lie detector itself bit also, did the prospect of it cause the wayward to confess beforehand? Did they try to cheat it? Did the results come out as 'lying' but still they denied?...and what then? ...and any other questions you can think of.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/30485-lets-talk-about-polygraphs.html


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

NO

size=1]_Posted via Mobile Device_[/size]


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

They are not accurate.. failure rate is too high.

You can try bluffing up to the time to do one. But that's not good either.

Since I know the failure rate I would refuse to take one. Then many on here will tell my spouse that my refusal to take one is proof of guilt.. hardly... it's proof of being smart enough to know that a polygraph test can open a can of worms worse then the existing problem... because even after the test you will not know what the truth is.


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## brokenbloke (Feb 21, 2012)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

What purpose would this test serve? If you're at a point where you need to rely on a polygraph test, you already know this relationship is over.


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## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

norajane said:


> What purpose would this test serve? If you're at a point where you need to rely on a polygraph test, you already know this relationship is over.


haha indeed! I agree wholeheartedly. Never ever thought I would be so desperate to be wrong or for a relationship to work. He is an incredibly good liar. And also, any lie now spells the end of us.....keep watching it prob won't be long


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## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

Its the process that works, the time leading up to the test to the professional running the test, to the questions asked. Some fudge the beginning of the test purposefully to make out that a poly does not work. Done properly it does have a good success rate of revealing the truth.

It is one of a number of tools when bought into play at the correct time can deliver results.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Eli-Zor said:


> Its the process that works, the time leading up to the test to the professional running the test, to the questions asked. Some fudge the beginning of the test purposefully to make out that a poly does not work. Done properly it does have a good success rate of revealing the truth.
> 
> It is one of a number of tools when bought into play at the correct time can deliver results.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Sure, but if your partner won't tell you the truth without the test or the process, what hope is there for the relationship? What good could it possibly do to try to squeeze the truth out like that? If your partner doesn't want an honest relationship, threatening polygraphs or forcing polygraphs is not going to change that inherent level of dishonesty.

Time would be better spent getting out of such an unhealthy, suspicion-filled, distrustful and distant relationship. What could possibly be worth staying in such a depressing and distressing relationship?


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## brokenbloke (Feb 21, 2012)

Have done an immense amount of research on polygraphs lately, here's my take.

I think its absolutely innacurate to say "they dont work" or "they are unreliable". I also think it doesnt make much sense to say "if you feel you need to get the OS to take a polygraph then the relationship is to far gone." 

First of all, the quality of a polygraph is dependent on a variety of factors. There are VERY GOOD polygraphys and there are VERY BAD ones. The reliability of a good polygraph depends almost entirely on how good the polygrapher is. So in this vein, only do a polygraph if you've hired the very best. Find the most experienced polygraph you can possibly find. He should have extensive experience with a very impressive CV, worked for the military or police etc. Get the very best. Otherwise I wouldnt recommend them. But if you get the very best, he can run a very reliable test. He (or she, but I'm not going to write out "he or she" the entire post) should also be ready to give an inconclusive conclusion. A good, experienced polygrapher will only conclude "truth" or "lies" if there is lots of evidence during the test to indicate so. Sometimes there is not, and there is nothing wrong with just concluding, "inconclusive" and accepting the result. (Often the tester will try again though, with a different approach. If the tester can tell the subject is trying to confuse the results, he will also know, and try again. Or he will just tell you the subject it trying to confuse the results, which should indicate to you that your spouse is not being very honest.) Ok, so lesson here is...IF you hire the best polygraphers (top 10%), you're one good ground for a reliable reading, but if you just hire an average guy then I wouldnt trust the results very much. The good polygraphers are like geniuses in how they can read people. And the good ones also dont solely rely on the readings from the polygraph, but have a variety of tools to gauge the subject's level of honesty.

Some people say the test is easy to pass. Google "passing a polygraph" and you'll come across a 100 sites advising you of a whole bunch of techniques, especially ones to use during the control questions part (count down by 7 from a thousand; stare and focus on a specific part of the wall; flex your sphincter etc etc). These dont work. They dont make you "pass" the test, but instead just make the readings incomprehensible. They dont let you get away with getting a "truth" conclusion while lieing, but rather will just screw up the results so much that the polygrapher will say...the test is useless. Moreover, the tester will know when these techniques are being used. It doesnt make alot of sense to have the readings spike during the control questions, for instance, or do a whole bunch of unpredicable things. In these cases all it demonstrates is not that you are able to pass the test, but just that its clear that youre TRYING to cheat it, which itself is like an admission of guilt. To truly pass the test (get a good polygrapher to sincerely conclude the truth is genuinely being told while the subject is lieing their face off) is extremely difficult, and takes an incredible amount of training. It's extremely difficult to prevent your body from not sweating, or involuntarily reacting in various ways, while lieing. There is a reason secret agents spend years to train their bodies to do this. The best an average joe can hope for is just an incomprehensible result, which itself is kind of like an admission of guilt.

So in terms of reliability, its pretty damn good...IF you hire one of the best polygraphers. Do your research. 

Now as to the argument of "If you're at a point where you need to rely on a polygraph test, you already know this relationship is over" I reply....why? Presumably you're caught your S in some sort of A and want to find out if the WS's story is true (full disclosure) or if the WS has stopped contact etc. Its an A and trust has been broken. To rebuild it takes demonstrations from the WS of honesty. What is the difference between checking phone records and emails for the entire year after an A and getting a polygraph? Both are just things you need to do to rebuild trust, things you need to do to ensure your WS is being honest, and things a truly repentant WS would happily agree to. A WS spouse who has truly been remorseful and wants TR should have NO problem with a polygraph. In fact if I were a WS and was remorseful and wanting R I, me, the WS, would WANT to take the test so that I could prove to my LS that I've reformed and am committed to my spouse. If I were a WS I would also openly let my spouse check my texts and emails etc. That is the process of rebuilding trust.

And like others say, a polygraph is part of a process. Often just threatening one will get you desired results. Dont let a polygraph be the only tool you use, and dont put all your eggs in its basket, but let it be a useful gauge of truth among a variety others. But if you do go with a test, make SURE you've gotten the best f***ing polygrapher you could possibly find. There's ALOT of s*** ones so only get the best. Its helpful to ask the police department or the military for suggestions. Often they can point you to their once top polygrapher who is now retired and helps WS rebuild their trust for a pretty penny. If this is done, you are on solid ground.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Yes they work. The greatest variables are the skill of the administrator and the actual questions you pose. The correct way to frame a 'fail' is not that the person lied, it's that they were plausibly deceptive in their answers to specific questions. Fluttering someone is a measure of the stress the exhibit to the question not to the answer they give.


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## Locard (May 26, 2011)

As someone who actually knows, yes. Sometimes you will get an inconclusive, but if they say they passed or lied, take it to the bank. 

I have taken one and caused many to take one, and have observed piles of them. If the examiner has a certification it is good to go. The less questions you ask the better the test.


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## hisfac (Feb 10, 2012)

If you've gotta pin them down with a lie detector, if you've gotta watch their phone, and their emails and everything else they do because you just can't trust them and probably never will, then there's just too much water under the bridge.

Screw the polygraph and the VARs and the open email accounts and the password sharing and go find someone who you don't have to worry about deceiving you. 

Bite the bullet, rip off the bandaid and get it done. Nothing is worth the uncertainty that goes with deception with only a half assed attempt by the cheater to pacify the betrayed partner.


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

In spite of what proponents will say, passing a polygraph test will NOT clear you of suspicion for whatever it is that some think you may have done. At the same time, the questions, themselves can give a false positive or negative reaction that is left to be interpreted by the "expert" who is administering the test.


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## brokenbloke (Feb 21, 2012)

hisfac said:


> If you've gotta pin them down with a lie detector, if you've gotta watch their phone, and their emails and everything else they do because you just can't trust them and probably never will, then there's just too much water under the bridge.
> 
> Screw the polygraph and the VARs and the open email accounts and the password sharing and go find someone who you don't have to worry about deceiving you.
> 
> Bite the bullet, rip off the bandaid and get it done. Nothing is worth the uncertainty that goes with deception with only a half assed attempt by the cheater to pacify the betrayed partner.


Your opinion is false. 

If a couple are in R then there is every need for the WS to be transparent and willingly so. If the WS is serious about repairing the marriage s/he will need to prove their honesty. This can only be done through the LS have access to all aspects of communication etc. This isn't about simply trying to "pin them down," but about the WS demonstrating their seriousness re: R and the LS being able to see that honesty demonstrated.

Don't think of a polygraph necessarily as one spouse trying to pin down the other; think of it as one spouse demonstrating their faithfulness to the other.


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## brokenbloke (Feb 21, 2012)

For those who are saying a polygraph is too unreliable and useless, what are you basing this on? Lots of misunderstanding regarding polygraphs going on here...


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## hisfac (Feb 10, 2012)

brokenbloke said:


> Your opinion is false.
> 
> If a couple are in R then there is every need for the WS to be transparent and willingly so.


I can understand why many or even most on this forum would not agree with me, but that doesn't make me wrong or my opinion false. 

I get that if (figuratively speaking) you're trying to rebuild your house, you need as many tools as you can get your hands on and a polygraph is one of many, even if it's the equivalent of that cheap rachet set you got at the local discount store that's going to strip out the first time you use it on a frozen nut.

Me, I'd hang a "condemned" sign on the front door, sell it for whatever someone was willing to pay, and go find another one that was less maintenance. In fact I did, and I live in a condo now. I don't worry about anyone else but myself and I won't ever get sucked into a committed relationship where I'm worried about my partner being honest with me, it's going to be "no strings attached" for the rest of my natural life. No reason to cheat.. she wants out, or I want out, then it's over, good bye and good luck, no hard feelings.

Neat, clean, and no worries other than the pain of breakups and starting over again but so far that's working our rather well for me in my post divorce life that is now approaching it's 6th year and about that many relationships of duration.

For anyone who cares, there IS life after divorce and it can be rather exciting. To me it sure beats VARs and polygraphs and wondering why he or she is "running late at the office" again.


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

brokenbloke said:


> For those who are saying a polygraph is too unreliable and useless, what are you basing this on? Lots of misunderstanding regarding polygraphs going on here...


Since it was my contention, just let me say that I was accused of doing something that I hadn't committed and agreed to take such a test to prove it. I was told by the "expert" who insisted that "everybody is guilty of something" that I was deceptive in my answers and thus it was "his expert opinion" that I was guilty of the assertion.
Of course, that didn't change the FACT that I hadn't done the deed, and I'm aware that the same "expert" insisted that the man who actually did the deed was innocent of the act that actual physical evidence showed that he had done.


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## Knoxvillekelly (Mar 17, 2012)

It does not tell if your lying. It only measures your bodys responses. It is assumed that lying people are stressed and that come out in the test.


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## Lee12 (Oct 16, 2012)

Hi sorry to jump on this subject I'm new to the forum been with my wife 12 years now been like any other marriage up & downs. Going back 6 years I thing my wife had cheated on me with a ex old school mate as she went to a family party I was working that night so I couldn't go. We have always been really close do a lot together etc we both agreed not to talk to the opposite sex it's something we have done since we got to together that night she gave her number to this chat and was out side with him. It all came back to me 18months ago and thats when i found my wife to be lying about a few things like she told me 6 years ago she went to the toilet when she came out this chap had called her outside when that was a lie she allso told me she pushed him of her 6 years ago. but the last 18mths ive found out he took a step i just dont understand the lies. We have both had a hard time about it. I'm distance from my wife cause all I thing about is that night my wife told me in the last few months they kissed that's all but then she tells me northing didn't happen. but what I can't work out why wood she say it then take it away! and that's why I'm here i put my wife on a lie test she passed it but in her disclosure she told the test bloke they was outside talking she turned her head he kissed her once her brain clicked on she stopped it. I asked her why did she say that she said cause that's what she told me at the time. Really could do with some help the company I used was Forensic Vetting | Lie Detector Tests | Polygraph Tests Throughout UK and Europe can I be leave the results any comments thank you


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

Remains said:


> Does a lie detector test actually work? Any thoughts welcome. Not only on the lie detector itself bit also, did the prospect of it cause the wayward to confess beforehand? Did they try to cheat it? Did the results come out as 'lying' but still they denied?...and what then? ...and any other questions you can think of.


A poly is only as good as the poly reader and the shrink who has evaluated the person getting a poly. 

For example a psychopath can easily lie and pass a poly. 

On the other hand, if the poly reader is skilled, and asks only yes and no questions and questions that deal with fact rather than emotions, then they can be highly accurate. 

That is why the CIA, FBI and the police still use them 

Also, the person's reaction to taking the poly can provide some clues if the person taking it is not a psychopath. 

Some call this a parking lot confession. That is the person realizes the will fail the poly because they are still lying. So in the parking lot of the poly reader's office, they confess.


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

hisfac said:


> I can understand why many or even most on this forum would not agree with me, but that doesn't make me wrong or my opinion false.
> 
> I get that if (figuratively speaking) you're trying to rebuild your house, you need as many tools as you can get your hands on and a polygraph is one of many, even if it's the equivalent of that cheap rachet set you got at the local discount store that's going to strip out the first time you use it on a frozen nut.
> 
> ...


I do so agree. I wish my STBEH would stop holding up the divorce. 

It's getting old, and he refuses to to the heavy work. He wants me to do it. 

The problem is I have been letting him have his way waaay to much during our entire marriage.

He has always been a selfish spoiled by his parents person, and his affair just showed me that this suspicion about him being a selfish spoiled self absorbed person was always on target.


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

norajane said:


> Sure, but if your partner won't tell you the truth without the test or the process, what hope is there for the relationship? What good could it possibly do to try to squeeze the truth out like that? If your partner doesn't want an honest relationship, threatening polygraphs or forcing polygraphs is not going to change that inherent level of dishonesty.
> 
> Time would be better spent getting out of such an unhealthy, suspicion-filled, distrustful and distant relationship. What could possibly be worth staying in such a depressing and distressing relationship?


The poly gives the hurt spouse closure. It helps them trust their suspicions. 

If the spouse has been still lying all along, it helps them move on knowing they did all they could and they are married to a pathological liar.

Why so much objection to it?


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## Lee12 (Oct 16, 2012)

Sara8 said:


> A poly is only as good as the poly reader and the shrink who has evaluated the person getting a poly.
> 
> For example a psychopath can easily lie and pass a poly.
> 
> ...



Hi sara thanks for the reply shes not a psychopath lol. she told me he got the stuff set up camara in front of her etc he told her what is going to do he asked her qustions like what day it is, colour of the sky but she had to lie then he asked her qustions that she had to tell the truth on. but in totally he kept asking her about 10 qustions where she had to say yes or no to he done it about 4 times my wife said but in them qustions was has she kissed anyone has she had sex with anyone or touched anyone she had to look at the camara then do it with her eyes closed then sitting forward and a other one she said. so if i can beleave the test why cant i forget that night cheers for your comments


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

Lee12 said:


> Hi sara thanks for the reply shes not a psychopath lol. she told me he got the stuff set up camara in front of her etc he told her what is going to do he asked her qustions like what day it is, colour of the sky but she had to lie then he asked her qustions that she had to tell the truth on. but in totally he kept asking her about 10 qustions where she had to say yes or no to he done it about 4 times my wife said but in them qustions was has she kissed anyone has she had sex with anyone or touched anyone she had to look at the camara then do it with her eyes closed then sitting forward and a other one she said. *so if i can beleave the test why cant i forget that night*
> 
> cheers for your comments


You have been traumatized by her betrayal. 

She kissed someone else in a sexual way while with you. That's cheating because the intent was there.

Time is the only thing, IMO, that will help this memory fade. 

I don't think betrayed spouses ever forget, they simply adjust to their new reality. 

If your wife is doing the hard work, the reconciliation can work.


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## gemjo (Aug 24, 2012)

I booked a poly for my H after D he had cheated on me. I wanted, needed to know if there was anything else hidden away. I knew he would never admit to anything I had no proof of.

So I brought up the idea of him doing a poly. Initially I thought I would check his reaction to my suggestion. If he'd said " book it, I've nothing else to hide" I would have dropped it, maybe. But he acted guilty and he was not comfortable about it. Said he didn't want to do it and it would be embarrising. 

That in itself said a lot!

I said I would book it, a huge expense, but it would be worth it it, it would give me peace of mind. I'd found a local company who worked in our area, worked for a tv channel.....so they were the best.

He squealed he'd had two more ONS 

I didn't go ahead with poly as company said it was too soon and I should leave it another 3 months. I guess to let new D settle down as sh1t was still hitting the fan.

But I might re-book to be sure no more secrets.

It is definitely a way forward in my opionion.

I kind of wish I didn't know more.....but at the same time I know I needed to have more of the truth.

Hope this helps in some small way.


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## Lee12 (Oct 16, 2012)

when i brought up the idea my wife said yes but she said in time she will ate me for doing it as i should take her word on it, but that made me thing why didnt she just say yes without any questions. but when she passed the test i was like well shes passed the test so i need to drop it, but a few months after the test we saw her ex school mate and my wife when really white like something was up we started to have a argument i pulled over to have a chat with him my wife said b4 i had chance to speak to him tell my husband we have only ever been mates!!


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## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

It sounds like your wife is lying. Her reaction to the poly and also to him immediately when you pulled over to talk is very dubious. I would be wondering right now how she beat the poly. Can you get hold of internet history on phone/computer to see if she searched it? 

She could always be telling the truth, but all her behaviour seems to be that of a liar. If all she had done was kissed then when she 1st told you that story, why would she change it back to 'nothing' and then it has been 'nothing' all this time til the poly when it becomes a kiss again? Tell me if I have the details wrong, but if this is the case, and along with her immediate informing of 'friend' of what to say, it sounds like she is deceiving you.


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## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

Lee12 said:


> when i brought up the idea my wife said yes but she said in time she will hate me for doing it as i should take her word on it....


Oh, I forgot this bit. HUGE red flag. She is trying to stop you doing the poly.

My man suggested one before Christmas. He suggested it knowing he & I could not afford it, and to back up his 'honesty'. It hadn't even entered my mind to do one. It got to the point where I couldn't move on til he did one so I insisted he did.

At that stage, where I said he has to do one before I move on with him, he needs to book one ASAP, all of a sudden he started saying 'you want it, you pay for it'. I said no way. If he passes I will pay half. He said 'If I have to do one, I am happy to do it, but I will not stay with you after! If I have to do one I will leave you regardless of the results'. THERE! SAME AS YOUR WIFE! I will hate you if you make me do it. Trust me (because I am a liar).

BTW, he was a liar. He was covering up and avoiding his lies. They came out finally about a month ago. Over a year after DD and 6 months after I first posted this thread. 

I didn't do a poly. The truth came put because I had had enough and left him. Properly. And he knew I cared no more.


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## gemjo (Aug 24, 2012)

In my opinion the poly is good in being a theath, even if you don't go through with it, it psychs the other half out to a point where they at the very least TT.

It made my H come clean to two other 'events' that I didn't know about. Just a few days before poly was provisionaly booked for.

So it does make them take stock of the situation, especially if they know you will leave them if they fail poly.

It's a hard, but good way forward IMO


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Unless you're with a sociopath, yes they work. The downside of course is they work. I can't imagine ever being in a relationship where someone seriously demanded that or me ever agreeing to one in the context of a relationship. 

Why not drive her to the hospital and demand a rape kit to see if any semen not yours is in her?


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