# ex W took son out of class early because of her emotions



## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Argh... for those of you that know my story, separated/divorced from my disloyal ex W 2011, one son 7 years old, shared custody 1week/1week. Son is having issues in school due to behaviors/personality/possible disabilities.

She remarried, her her tubal reversed (her decision to tie them in the first place was completely unilateral after our son was born), anyways she had her baby last week so my son has a new (half) sister.

This week I have custody - I dropped son off at school this morning, watched him walk through from doors just as the first bell sounded. I guess he doddled (his boot rack is at the other end of the school from the main doors) and was late to class but never went by the front office to register late.

His mom gets the call that he is absent, she freaks out, sends the stepdad to go in person, then calls me to find out the situation (I have no idea and I've repeatedly asked the school to put me as a contact since I'm a primary guardian). So she finally gets a hold of the school, he was present. But then she decides to have the stepdad bring him home (missing classes for the afternoon).

I asked her why, and she said she was "emotional" - this isn't the first time she's kept him home on her whim, but the first time while he's under my custody - I told her she has to clear it with me next time she is thinking this. Bad enough our son is struggling, but then he gets removed on a somewhat frequent basis (a couple times a month). He is also late very often (mostly on her watch).

This past weekend I had my son but was very accommodating of letting him spend time with his new sister as she requested.

I guess I'm just venting... but is this normal at all??


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Man, I...Okay. This was why I did not go to many school functions. The school admins would not give me my children's schedule. I believe it is a way they keep track of kids and try to keep them safe. There is a proper way to get them to put you on their books as a primary. That is the issue, more than likely. If you aren't the primary, you won't get notice of anything. You will be left in the dark. Call your attorney and find out what to do. Call the school admin. You have to get this straightened out now. This will be used against you when they go back for support. If you don't get yourself put on the rosters, it will look like you don't care or do anything for your son. If you do not do it properly, it will look like you are trying to stalk or kidnap or some crazy thing like that. I'm telling you. I've been through it. Check on it ASAP and make some changes, even if it costs your extra cash now, it will cost you less than a new support order and custody change. Sometimes, they don't even tell you custody has been changed. Something gets lost in the mail and it's not their fault. It's your responsibility. Be as proactive as you can.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Called the school administration. I'm listed as a primary along with his mom, they just usually only call one parent and by default that is usually the mom. They aren't able to accommodate the custodial schedule, however they have included instructions that both parents will get calls. I recall having to reqest being included in the newsletter maillot earlier this year too.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Is your wife suffering from post partum depression?


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

I would be upset about not being contacted by the school. When seperated, school had both of our information, school sent home 2 copies of everything, all newsletters, permission forms etc. We are back together now but even now if our son is late and we forget to call it in, the school will call both of us at our respective numbers.

Taking your son out of school is not ideal. So long as it is not a regular occurrence (I very occasionally let my oldest play hookey and we go do something fun that we wouldn't otherwise be able to do because of school/work) is not that big of a deal but I think that because it was your week, ex-wife should have called and asked permission first.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

*Re: Re: ex W took son out of class early because of her emotions*



NextTimeAround said:


> Is your wife suffering from post partum depression?


Not sure, but from what I can tell her emotions are high right now, she is openly admitting to crying her eyes out for happiness about our son's upcoming Christmas concert today, and seems to be beaming with joy. In fact I don't think I've ever seen her so happy, and it seems genuine (though I have no idea what underlying turmoil is in her, don't know if the lows are as strong for her). She never really acted like this when she had post partum after our son was born -it was constant sadness and anger.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Lon, this is not normal. She needs to respect the custody schedule, hormones or no hormones.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

All it takes is for his ex to just say nothing or something like, just call me. Don't bother him. He is busy. He would have no idea and never think a thing about it. Neither would the school. That kind of stuff likely has nothing to do with her moods today. That was all set up a long time ago and it is fairly normal for schools to do, and many non-custodial parents have no clue this sometimes happens. 

I'm sure, Lon, you would have handled it well if you had been given the opportunity to do so. You ex did not call the school. They called her. That's the only issue here. I think you took care of it, but you will have to be vigilant to make certain or you could easily make yourself look bad, just by being uninformed.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

2ntnuf said:


> All it takes is for his ex to just say nothing or something like, just call me. Don't bother him. He is busy. He would have no idea and never think a thing about it. Neither would the school. That kind of stuff likely has nothing to do with her moods today. That was all set up a long time ago and it is fairly normal for schools to do, and many non-custodial parents have no clue this sometimes happens.
> 
> I'm sure, Lon, you would have handled it well if you had been given the opportunity to do so. You ex did not call the school. They called her. That's the only issue here. I think you took care of it, but you will have to be vigilant to make certain or you could easily make yourself look bad, just by being uninformed.


yes, 2ntuf - you have a knack at perceiving exactly where I'm at.

Yes there were two issues 1) I was not called by the school - this has hopefully been resolved, and not only will I get the calls when I need but now I will also receive calls when my son's mom gets him to school late or keeps him home. 2) my ex W cannot willynilly keep him home but even more specifically she can't pick him up on days which I'm the designated custodian.

As for number two, the school is unaware of which custodian is designated for any particular day, so if she goes and picks him up on my days they will not stop her, but I sent her a succinct text message stating that she requires specific permission from me before she ever does that again, to which she replied "ok". 

I also pointed out to her that my son's day at school was going well and was not in any way connected to her emotional state so taking him home was not for his sake at all.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

I truly wish I did not have that knack. I have been there and done just exactly that. I still got no notification. When I was taken back for adjustment of child support, the master at the hearing, who is now a judge, told me that my child support would be raised more significantly since I did not care about or for my children. 

A few years later, the percentage of unpaid medical expenses was increased to well over half. I paid for their insurance through work. It wasn't cheap. They used insurance they had from their step-father's work. I paid those premiums for them, for nothing, for 16 years. I never knew about the health insurance from their step-father's work until the 16th year of payments. 

I had no idea how to handle this stuff then. I had no idea this was the accepted practice at that time. I wish it were not still so. Apparently, it works well. I cried many nights because of things like this that made my life a living hell. Little things like this caused my children to believe I did not love them. I no longer have contact with them. They don't return my calls. Be very careful, please.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

2ntnuf said:


> I truly wish I did not have that knack. I have been there and done just exactly that. I still got no notification. When I was taken back for adjustment of child support, the master at the hearing, who is now a judge, told me that my child support would be raised more significantly since I did not care about or for my children.
> 
> A few years later, the percentage of unpaid medical expenses was increased to well over half. I paid for their insurance through work. It wasn't cheap. They used insurance they had from their step-father's work. I paid those premiums for them, for nothing, for 16 years. I never knew about the health insurance from their step-father's work until the 16th year of payments.
> 
> I had no idea how to handle this stuff then. I had no idea this was the accepted practice at that time. I wish it were not still so. Apparently, it works well. I cried many nights because of things like this that made my life a living hell. Little things like this caused my children to believe I did not love them. I no longer have contact with them. They don't return my calls. Be very careful, please.



I am very sorry to hear of how your relationship with your kids has been so damaged from all of that. I tread pretty cautiously, my biggest fear isn't getting dragged through the courts - I have pretty good ground to stand on - I'm more paranoid about her up and leaving the country (simply because it would be a disturbance to my son, and cause unnecessary drama/stress)

I am fortunate to live in a somewhat socialist country - my son has double health coverage for that which isn't covered under provincial health (eg hospitalizations) I pay a little extra for healthcare premiums for having him a dependent (ironically, my ex is still listed since there is no discount for me to have her removed) and he is covered under her new H's plan too so we've not been out of pocket at all. Courts are also very child-focussed so I am not too worried about custody battles after this many years of a fairly stable situation. Proving I am unfit to parent would be a very hard sell to the courts.

There is no spousal support, and my child support is minimal - if she ever sought more, then it would actually work against her since we've never renegotiated this since we first separated and at the time she was self employed earning only about $25k/yr. Her income is demonstrably higher than then, and mine is a little higher too, and if it comes down to a court order based on earnings I'll likely end up owing her $20 a month less than now, though I could argue to share extra expenses 50/50 instead of 66/34. It hasn't been worth my time to initiate this so far though.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

The courts will reassess every three years or so at request by either parent through a small fee and a filing of forms. I was never assessed as an unfit parent. I mean, I never was given any forms or had to go to any hearing for that kind of a determination. It is just that the prevailing wisdom was that the mother got the children. It certainly seemed that her getting remarried and her living with a man who had children was preferred to them living with me, although he did lose them in a court battle, never to see them again, or he signed his rights to them away, I can't remember which. 

The courts are absolutely tilted here. There is no doubt. Well, that was my impression, even at my last hearing in 2009. The number of men who felt as if they were not heard was much greater than women. Even attorneys told me they don't like to represent a man. They said they always lose. It's not good for their reputation. 

Funny story. The first or second time I went to a domestic relations hearing(that's what they call a hearing to determine child support), I took an attorney. He was a young attorney and he thought he would give me a chance. I arrived in the waiting area with plenty of time before the hearing. I went with someone from my family. I literally can't remember who. They were to be moral support. 

I walk in and sit down. I see my ex sitting there filling out paperwork, as was required. I don't remember if I filled mine out or not. I think I was told to go in and wait for him to get there. My attorney came in and walked right past me and sat down. He never saw my ex before. He took a seat across from her. I was sitting to his left at the end of the space between the two rows of chairs. I sat there watching him check her out as she filled out the paperwork. I said nothing to him, but whispered to the person with me that was my attorney over there. I was told to go introduce myslef and I said the he knows me and had seen me previously. I wanted to see what he was going to do. He sat there and literally flirted with my ex. She flirted back. They had a nice little conversation. I sat and watched. 

I really could not hear anything. Just a bit of laughing and pleasant expressions. When we were called for the hearing, I stood up and my attorney stood up. Then, my ex stood. You should have seen my attorney's face when she stood. He looked at me and all I did was give him the look. He about crapped his pants and fell all over himself apologizing. 

This was x1. Guess what happened at the hearing? Nothing. He had no influence. I paid him for nothing. I doubt he did that again.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

I think more courts are getting more progressive. Perhaps this is where the patriarchal society backfires a bit. Most judges are male but if they are even a little old fashioned they assume kids need their moms more.

Lon, if she is acting very differently it very well could just be pregnancy hormones. She may just be super glad she reversed her tubal and love being a Mom more now that she's older. Wanting to conceive again and going through everything she did to have another might just have her really appreciative of her 'babies'. I really dislike the step father even more now. Mr. Save the Day. He knew it wasn't their week. The school should have called both and if they called her on your week she should have called you to ask when he was dropped off and is everything OK. You handled it well, establishing expectations going forward.

As an aside, the older he gets the more important being timely will be. I do think you need to address absences and tardiness now. It sets an example that school is not important, nor is being on time. Later on he could miss important instructional time if a teacher launches right into new material. Maybe now while they are putting away coats and book bags those first 10 minutes or so it's not a big deal but when he's 11.12 and older, it could begin to be a problem. And when he starts working, being punctual will be to his benefit.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

This was a woman Master and now Judge. It had nothing to do with patriarchal society. It had more to do with vengeance and following the law to it's fullest possible use. 

Lon's ex-wife and her emotional well-being are not his problem. They are divorced and she is remarried. If she needs help, she has a husband for that. His only responsibility is to his son. 

Please keep that in mind Lon. I'm not trying to be mean. I'm just trying to keep you from falling into this bull that I fell for when I went through it. You do have options. They don't have anything to do with how your ex feels or her emotional issues. 

Sorry Ejoli. This was not meant to be rude to you.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

EnjoliWoman said:


> ...As an aside, the older he gets the more important being timely will be. I do think you need to address absences and tardiness now. It sets an example that school is not important, nor is being on time. Later on he could miss important instructional time if a teacher launches right into new material. Maybe now while they are putting away coats and book bags those first 10 minutes or so it's not a big deal but when he's 11.12 and older, it could begin to be a problem. And when he starts working, being punctual will be to his benefit.


Oh believe me, the importance of being on time for school is not being lost on me. He's had two tardy mornings with me, one was on me for getting him there late, and I physically signed him in, the instance which started this thread was the second late morning and it's all on him (he was in the school right after the first bell just like all the other kids - he just dilly dallied, other teachers reported he was spinning in the hallway and looking at all the student artwork posted in the halls). It is acknowledged that he zones out and goes to his own world, so honestly his tardiness is not the real challenge he is struggling with in school.

He has had 7 tardy's and 4 absences this year so far when he's with his mom (and she has the gall to lambast me because they think I let him stay awake too late, and try to dictate that I have him asleep by 7:30pm). Granted I usually drop him off at the after&before program, however she is capable of using that service too (and I even pay 2/3rds of the cost which isn't even all that much - like $2.25 per half hour)

2ntuf, you are not being mean, I have no problem being emotionally detached from her, it's the actual having to continually negotiate the co-parenting boundaries with her that is the stressful part for me, which requires trust and that is something that she deliberately sabotaged and really hasn't done much to earn back (yes, this part, that I'm expected to have to trust in her since she is my son's parent too, that I am still a little bit resentful of). For the most part it goes smoothly, because her and I have remained available to communicate about parenting issues (though the influence of her new H hasn't made it any easier).

I'm mostly very, very grateful that the family courts here have such a strong focus on the child's best interests and that they are not all that tilted towards the mother over the father. The laws here still have some catching up to do in terms of real equity of the entire parenting responsibilities (they are still written in ways that are focussed on one income, male breadwinner, situations), but those benefits and government programs are continuously being readjusted to suit truly equal co-parenting arrangements like mine.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

I always figured, and I could be wrong, in lieu of trust, strong rules/laws with real consequences need applied. Eventually, with consistency, those rules/laws will only be there to remind.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

She has just had a baby, she's going to be emotional.

One, you should try harder to make sure he gets to his classroom on time. Walk him to the door imo, since he struggles with this.

Two, if your XW would like you to put him to bed earlier, I think you should. You should both be working together to give him a stable routine. Being bloody minded about a bed time is not beneficial to your son. My children go to bed about that time. I think it's perfectly reasonable to request he have a stable bedtime.

In return, you could request that if you make sure he's in bed by 7:30pm when with you, that she make sure he's at school at least 5min before first bell (e.g. 8:25am), when he's with her.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

breeze said:


> She has just had a baby, she's going to be emotional.


Not my problem, and certainly no reason for her to remove my son from classes on days I have custody of him.



> One, you should try harder to make sure he gets to his classroom on time. Walk him to the door imo, since he struggles with this.


Most mornings I have him at school half hour before the bell and he goes to the before school program. For the past couple months it has been working really well to drop him at the front door of the school, it is nice that he has finally shown some sort of independence in this regard. The problem was we both dilly dallied at home too long that morning (me for waking him too late and him for starting another "sock" fight where he refuses to wear any socks due to his sensory issues - and letting him not wear socks has led to him escalating the issue at school), so we were later than usual getting to school - unfortunately there is nowhere to park anywhere close to the school at that time because all the parking is reserved for school buses and its a busy street. So it would have made him even later for me to park two blocks away and walk him to class.



> Two, if your XW would like you to put him to bed earlier, I think you should. You should both be working together to give him a stable routine. Being bloody minded about a bed time is not beneficial to your son. My children go to bed about that time. I think it's perfectly reasonable to request he have a stable bedtime.
> 
> In return, you could request that if you make sure he's in bed by 7:30pm when with you, that she make sure he's at school at least 5min before first bell (e.g. 8:25am), when he's with her.


We don't get home until just after 6pm, then by the time he does whatever homework he has, and we have supper, it's already after 7pm. Tuesday night he had a christmas concert and it didn't even start until 7pm.

I'm not trying to make excuses, just filling you in since you may have missed a prior thread I had about bedtimes. At my house, on days when there are no other evening activities, 8pm is bath, pajama and tooth brushing time, that usually takes 20 minutes to half an hour, then its in bed and we usually read for 5-10 minutes, then its lights out (usually around 8:35 and he's usually asleep within 10-15 minutes). I wake him up just after 7am, he gets just over 10 hours of sleep a night, which is as much as fits into our schedule. I agree it's important to have routines, but the fact of a two-home life is that there are two different routines - it's not fair but it's reality.


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## Malpheous (May 3, 2013)

Lon said:


> Argh... for those of you that know my story, separated/divorced from my disloyal ex W 2011, one son 7 years old, shared custody 1week/1week. Son is having issues in school due to behaviors/personality/possible disabilities.
> 
> She remarried, her her tubal reversed (her decision to tie them in the first place was completely unilateral after our son was born), anyways she had her baby last week so my son has a new (half) sister.
> 
> ...



I skimmed the other posts. Please excuse anything that's repeated.

1.) Take a copy of your Custody Order to the school office. Bring donuts and make friends. 

2.) Have the school update the contact information as appropriate. You as Primary. You ex as a secondary contact.

3.) Request the school to notify you each when kiddo is removed during the day. If it's a smaller school, they may do that for you.

4.) If you get a call that kiddo was removed by anyone other than you on your days you need a plan to leave whatever you are doing, gather him, with orders in hand, and return him to school.

Meanwhile, an R3 should probably be sent. Register Receipt Required. Plus a copy in 1st Class USPS.



> Dear ex,
> 
> You removed Little Johnny from school on xx/xx/xxx.
> 
> ...


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Malpheous said:


> I skimmed the other posts. Please excuse anything that's repeated.
> 
> 1.) Take a copy of your Custody Order to the school office. Bring donuts and make friends.
> 
> ...


I appreciate the time you've taken to write this Malph. The way it works is her and I are both primary on the school forms - at the beginning of year we filled out the form - she filled her info first then passed it for me to fill out my info. She had the stepdad listed as a primary too, and I informed the school he is not a custodial parent and they made the correction on the forms, I didn't communicate this with my ex.

The stepdad, as well as my ex's parents, are listed as both emergency contacts and approved to pick up my son from school.

I am ready to go pick him up any time I need, I have an understanding employer and 99% of the time it's not a problem. The big thing is that the school won't call either contact if he is picked up from school, so I won't know until its too late, and vice versa she will not get a call if I remove him from class.

There is an online, up-to-date, portal with attendance that I could check often, however it's a PITA because once again there can be only one primary contact, and they used her info first, and so far she has not replied to my requests for the login credentials - I am waiting for an appropriate time to follow this up with her (probably monday morning when I want to check if he is punctual).

If she takes him out of class again I will escalate it with the school and her, at which point registered documentation may follow.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Speak to your sons teacher and the achool's guidance counselor. Be careful in your word choice because you don't want to start alienating anyone and making them feel they are being asked to pick either you and your ex. 

You want to set up individual educational goals for your son and since you mentioned he is being evaluated for possible disabilities they will absolutely take into account what is happening in his home life. In a child centered system, they will assess needs based on the reality of his situation and not the ideal.

The goal is that your son be at school every day. The second goal is that he not be late to school more than twice per month. Obviously, a child absent or late isn't available to learn....right?

"Teacher,guidance counselor, I'm concerned that my son's absences are affecting him. His mother and I will be making much more effort to ensure he is here on time. But since she just had a baby, I know this will be hard for her. Will you please let me know if he is late or absent, perhaps I will be able to get it taken care of."

You want the front line people thinking of YOU first. So make yourself present as often as possible.

Also, too effing bad the school's portal can only do one primary, your son has two who do not live together and one just had a baby! Tell the school to make it happen. Be polite, be firm, be insistent. "I'm sorry this is difficult but it needs to happen. I'm sorry but it needs to happen. I don't know who designed this system but there must be many other children with split custody parents, so I really don't want to hear how difficult it is. I am his custodial parent and I must have access to his portal!"


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## Malpheous (May 3, 2013)

Lon said:


> There is an online, up-to-date, portal with attendance that I could check often, however it's a PITA because once again there can be only one primary contact, and they used her info first, and so far she has not replied to my requests for the login credentials - I am waiting for an appropriate time to follow this up with her (probably monday morning when I want to check if he is punctual).
> 
> If she takes him out of class again I will escalate it with the school and her, at which point registered documentation may follow.



You are the Primary on the Orders. From the court. Go to the administration office and request they fix the oversight and list you as the primary contact based on that. 

Next time you hear he's pulled out of school on your time you go and pick him up and return him to the school. Then send the following R3(Registered Receipt Requested) to her and her lawyer. Also send the same via USPS 1st class to her and her lawyer.



> Dear Ex,
> 
> On MONTH DD, YYYY, you removed kiddo from school on a day that falls into my parenting time.
> 
> ...


Each time. Pick him up. Return him to school. R3/USPS. Lather , rinse, repeat. After a few times, add with a couple other issues and discuss a motion for contempt with your lawyer and seek some form of correction. Be it more parenting time. The use of a co-parenting site. Etc.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Anon Pink, thanks for you suggestion. We've already had multiple meetings this year so far with the teacher, resource room teacher (basically the guidance counsellor) and the principal and have sort of come up with a plan. The ball continuously gets dropped at that end, and the gears of progress churn so slowly. The problem for me and my son's mom, always seems to be that we don't know the exact lingo codeword that they need to trigger an event that they need to act on. Every time we meet, my ex and I let them know what we have implemented from the last time, and what changes we've seen in him, and ask what else they need - they shrug their shoulders, suggest such and such, then we re-explain that such and such suggestions were made last time and we implemented them (everything they've asked of us - get doctors appointments, follow up with child dev centre, ask for referral to specialists, and on and on, we take care of) then we ask what plans they've implemented in class, and they explain what little things they've done that have had some effect - but there is no real plan, it seems like both us and the school is missing out on expertise to help formulate and implement a plan.

It was nearly a year ago that we met with the school speech pathologist and school counsellor and they all added their referral onto the existing application with the child development centre who makes the official diagnosis for the school board so that kids who need help (such as ASD like we suspect my son is) so that the school can actually get some funds for a dedicated EA for him in class, as well as occupational therapy. We knew about a year and a half ago that it was an 18 month waitlist - but I suspect the school's sluggishness in sending out forms has delayed it.

The school has FINALLY (as of last week) sent their request to my son's physician, and his doctor has put in referral to both a pediatrician and psychologist, so hopefully something comes of this. Also, my ex (on behalf of both of us) has found a private pediatric occupational therapy clinic and have submitted application (it's $90 per half hour which is going to be costly - both her new H and I have this covered under our employee health plans, but only a few hundred dollars worth). But if we can get any help actually coming up with a feasible education plan that will work for the school it will be worth almost any amount we can afford.

Malpheous, thanks again for the recommendation - both my son's mom and I are legally primary custodians, but the software the school uses only allows one record for home address. Either way, I requested the credentials from his mom and she provided them to me (she has never even logged into it before). Now I believe there is technical problems with my son's profile on there so I have contacted the administrator to request this be fixed. As for her taking him out of class, so far it's only been this one time on my custodial days. I am not prepared to go to the expense and adversity of making this a legal matter yet, if her and I can't work out a solution that is suitable for me, then I may escalate - and fortunately the school keeps accurate records of attendance so I will have whatever documentation I need to follow up at that time.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Are you in the US?

If so I can guide you through the process to get an IEP set up for your son. In the US this would take about 90 days and then accountability becomes a federal mandate.

If you're not in the US...ugh, sorry. Can't help.

Yeah, never mind Canada. I thought you were from "never knowingly appropriate" thought that place seemed rather cool!


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Don't know what province. This came up in a search. I bet you've looked into it. Just figured I'd take a long shot.

Special Programs - Individual Education Planning for Students with Special Needs


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

2ntnuf said:


> Don't know what province. This came up in a search. I bet you've looked into it. Just figured I'd take a long shot.
> 
> Special Programs - Individual Education Planning for Students with Special Needs


SK. From what I've been able to research, the lingo varies from province to province. There isn't a formalized "IEP" program like the one you published here, but there are many focussed topic white papers for personalized plans depending on the specific needs. For instance, there is a Personal Behaviour Plan for students on the autism spectrum, and Personal Programming Plans for students with other identified special needs.

When I suggested the personal behavior intervention plan to his teacher, she didn't have a clue what I was trying to refer to, it seems that is the specialty of the Educational Assistants and the resource teacher, and unfortunately they have been unable to allocate an EA for him until he has a formal diagnosis, which is what he is on the waitlist for.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

That sucks. Maybe you can find a few things that will help him in class and present them to his educators as something they might attempt? I'm thinking it will "kill two birds with one stone". You will show more interest(I know you have already), it will be an attempt to help the educators(a very nice thing to do), and it will let them get to know you and trust you. Just reaching for anything to help.


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