# The loneliness is excruciating



## justabovewater (Jun 26, 2011)

Not only is it heart wrenching to have to be going through a divorce, but to be doing it with absolutely no family around is the worst. All of my family lives out of state and all of H's family live on the same street as us. He's got some out of town relatives visiting and he called the kids to come down and visit and here I sit alone. This is absolutely the worst feeling in the world.


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## jeffsdesigns (Jul 19, 2011)

I know the feeling.
What is worst is. I have her kids living with me and they are just as upset, with their mother, as I am.
She thinks, she has been betrayed by me and the kids.
What she doesn't understand is...me and the kids have been hurt by her.
The kids are hers and they are my step kids.


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## everafter (Mar 10, 2011)

My family pushes reconciliation, and sends me messages that I am damaging my sons. They seem more supportive of my husband than of me. I haven't faced the loneliness much yet, but am making more of an effort to turn acquaintances into friends. I've always enjoyed some solitude, and hope to make the adjustment in the future when I have an empty nest. The dog is a good listener!

Jd,, you are a good man to stick by the kids.


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## justabovewater (Jun 26, 2011)

I would love a reconcilliation, but I don't see it in our future. I think he wants out and wants it to be over with as quickly as possible. I just hate not having any friends close by that I can go visit. They say that you need to go on about your life and get out and do things, only I have no one to do them with and I'm not good at going out alone.

I agree with Everafter, you're doing the right thing by keeping her kids and grandbaby close to you. I think you might find good support in them and them in you.

We will all make it through this....right?


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## waitwhat (Jun 12, 2011)

I agree!! The lonliness is HORRIBLE!! I didn't think it would be this bad! The separation was my idea. I don't want to get into specifics other than that I thought I had fallen out of love with my husband and in love with someone else. I've been in my own apartment for a couple of weeks now and I feel AWFUL!


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## ddindiana (May 24, 2010)

I read that next to losing a child, divorce is the hardest thing you'll go through in your live.


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## Kauaiguy (May 8, 2011)

ddindiana said:


> I read that next to losing a child, divorce is the hardest thing you'll go through in your live.


Death of a spouse is worse! If the marriage is going well and even if it's not going so well, death of a spouse is as bad as losing a child.

Even with divorce, until one of the couple gets re-married, there's still that sliver of hope of getting back together.

DEATH is PERMANENT the moment it happens..!


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## Suemolly (Jun 19, 2011)

I too am going through this whole process without a family member or even a child to brighten my lonely days. I don't have a job, so not even a colleague to distract me. Its just horrible! To top it, I live out in the far quiet suburbs and my small number of friends live in the city, 2 hours commute. My town is predominantly francophone, and I speak only basic French. I pretty much feel like Tom Hanks in that movie Outcast. I bought a monthly pass for the town buses 2 weeks ago and I try to force myself to go out everyday, even if its just for a cup of coffee. The good part is, there are strangers chatting to me now, even if I don't understand half the things they are saying. People seem to sense that I am lonely.


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