# Girls Opinion: Ex Likes my Photos



## forumman83 (Aug 12, 2012)

I was dating a girl about a year ago. A short but intense relationship that ended abruptly and without closure. Just kind of faded away as it was long distance and she was leaving soon for a 1 year job overseas. 

For the past year I've been doing my own thing, dating, and moving on with my life although she's always been in the back of my mind since I've never experienced a connection like that before. I was trying to forget her and just move on when kind of out of the blue she started liking some of my Facebook posts. 

She liked a couple of quotes I posted a couple months ago. Then I recently changed my profile picture and she liked it along with one of my comments on the photo. I'm trying not to read too much into it but she's got me thinking about her again. I've dated a lot since her and haven't found a connection like that so I'd still be interested in grabbing a coffee with her and seeing if the spark was still there but also don't want to go chasing wild geese.

Girls, would you like an ex boyfriend's FB photo sjust for the sake of liking it, or would you be trying to spark something? I know, personally, that I probably wouldn't bother liking an exes photo unless I was at least somewhat interested. I may be wrong, but tor some reason, I feel like she's trying to spark some conversation as I don't think she's the type to just text or call me out of the blue...I feel like I would have to initiate. 

Am I crazy for thinking this!?

Thanks all!


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## Kristisha (Apr 29, 2013)

No especially if you had a connection. I believe that she might want to start something so I would say go for it, you have nothing to lose!


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## JustTired (Jan 22, 2012)

There's only one way to find out...message her directly & ask her out.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

forumman83 said:


> She liked a couple of quotes I posted a couple months ago. Then I recently changed my profile picture and she liked it along with one of my comments on the photo. I'm trying not to read too much into it but she's got me thinking about her again. I've dated a lot since her and haven't found a connection like that so I'd still be interested in grabbing a coffee with her and seeing if the spark was still there but also don't want to go chasing wild geese.
> 
> Girls, would you like an ex boyfriend's FB photo sjust for the sake of liking it, or would you be trying to spark something? I know, personally, that I probably wouldn't bother liking an exes photo unless I was at least somewhat interested. I may be wrong, but tor some reason, I feel like she's trying to spark some conversation as I don't think she's the type to just text or call me out of the blue...I feel like I would have to initiate.
> 
> ...


I would be trying to spark something. (unless we had remained friends all along of course...) I think most women are like this, which is why we get so pissed when we see ex's or the same girl liking and commenting on all our mans' pics and posts.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

JustTired said:


> There's only one way to find out...message her directly & ask her out.



But don't give her too many chances either....... adn don't let her get in the way of anyone else you might want to date.

I figured out that my future husband was still seeing his special friend because everytime he went to see a concert he would mention it on FB and everytime he went without me she would like it. 

I'm sure if he had mention it to her, she would defended her right to like his posts because they were just friends. On one occasion he metnioned 4 concerts in one entry, one of which I went with him. she liked that post.

So, he did go to another concert with her after that post and didn't mention it on his wall. And when I discussed those "likes" with him, he blurted out the concert in December which was the one he neglected to add to his wall. So he outed himself.

Facebook can really show a pattern of behavior and you should be aware of it. Can you see her other activities? Is she liking a lot of other guys' stuff?


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

3Xnocharm said:


> I would be trying to spark something. (unless we had remained friends all along of course...) I think most women are like this, which is why we get so pissed when we see ex's or the same girl liking and commenting on all our mans' pics and posts.



:iagree: 100%

Message her, I bet she is hoping you contact her.


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## forumman83 (Aug 12, 2012)

Kristisha said:


> No especially if you had a connection. I believe that she might want to start something so I would say go for it, you have nothing to lose!


Thanks for the reply, Kristisha. So why do you think she would be trying to "start something" and not just randomly liking a picture? I ask this because most people I talk to tell me not to make anything of it!


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## forumman83 (Aug 12, 2012)

3Xnocharm said:


> I would be trying to spark something. (unless we had remained friends all along of course...) I think most women are like this, which is why we get so pissed when we see ex's or the same girl liking and commenting on all our mans' pics and posts.


Interesting, 3X. One thing I should mention is that even though there was no official "breakup" per se, I do feel as though she is the one that technically "ended" thing. So I don't know if that's a factor or not...what do you think!?


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## forumman83 (Aug 12, 2012)

kristin2349 said:


> :iagree: 100%
> 
> Message her, I bet she is hoping you contact her.


Ya that was my initial thought, but then I started doubting it thinking "well she knew how I felt about her so if she really wanted to talk to me she would message or comment or something"

Maybe I'm overthinking it (I tend to do that!)


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## forumman83 (Aug 12, 2012)

JustTired said:


> There's only one way to find out...message her directly & ask her out.


You make it sound so easy!


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## Kristisha (Apr 29, 2013)

forumman83 said:


> Thanks for the reply, Kristisha. So why do you think she would be trying to "start something" and not just randomly liking a picture? I ask this because most people I talk to tell me not to make anything of it!


The way I see things is take the jump because she made the first move. I mean as a woman I believe she just to grab your attention to see your reaction.

I personally don't keep in touch with any if my exes but if I would would because I can't let it go and maybe somehow , something would happen in the future.

Even more if I would like some of the photos or even comment on them. That's like saying " hey you I'm here, remember me? Would you invite me to a coffee cuz I would DEFINETLY say YES" but in a discreet way


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## Kristisha (Apr 29, 2013)

forumman83 said:


> You make it sound so easy!


 You over thinking it


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## forumman83 (Aug 12, 2012)

Kristisha said:


> The way I see things is take the jump because she made the first move. I mean as a woman I believe she just to grab your attention to see your reaction.
> 
> I personally don't keep in touch with any if my exes but if I would would because I can't let it go and maybe somehow , something would happen in the future.
> 
> Even more if I would like some of the photos or even comment on them. That's like saying " hey you I'm here, remember me? Would you invite me to a coffee cuz I would DEFINETLY say YES" but in a discreet way


Hahaha. Well that's what I was initially hoping she was saying but I can't seem to pull the trigger. Part of me doesn't feel right just messaging her on Facebook and I don't even know what I would say!?


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## Kristisha (Apr 29, 2013)

forumman83 said:


> Hahaha. Well that's what I was initially hoping she was saying but I can't seem to pull the trigger. Part of me doesn't feel right just messaging her on Facebook and I don't even know what I would say!?


Hi how's it going? It's been a long time since we've seen each other, fancy a cup of coffee to catch up? As friends obviously to see her reaction


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## Kristisha (Apr 29, 2013)

What do u have to lose? It's like inviting a friend to a pub for catching up


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## forumman83 (Aug 12, 2012)

Kristisha said:


> What do u have to lose? It's like inviting a friend to a pub for catching up


Ya..that's a great idea. She is not back from abroad for probably another month or two and even when she does return she lives in a city two hours away!!


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

So OP, have you messaged her yet?

What have you got to lose? Do it. She's reaching out. The worst she could say is no.


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

forumman83 said:


> A short but intense relationship that ended abruptly and without closure. Just kind of faded away


This statement confuses me. How do you have relationship "end abruptly" but just "fade away"? Those two clauses are in direct conflict with one another.



> I was trying to forget her and just move on when kind of out of the blue she started liking some of my Facebook posts.


This is another reason why I refuse to use something like StalkerBook, and when I do, only have close personal friends or family members with visible access to my data.

Remember: ex's are ex's for a reason. It is easy to focus on the "good" times together, the human brain does not want to focus on misery.


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## forumman83 (Aug 12, 2012)

FlowerChild said:


> Personally, I wouldn't like an exes posts or pictures unless I was trying to grab their attention.
> 
> But that's just me.
> 
> You could message her and say hey and ask her how she's been doing and see where it goes. You might strike up a pleasant conversation. You could ask her to grab a coffee or go out to lunch or whatever to catch up with an old friend.


Interesting take FlowerChild. That's what I was kind of thinking too. I probably wouldn't bother liking an ex's post if I wasn't interested unless maybe we were friends or something. One question though, I was thinking with her still being abroad maybe it is best to wait until she returns to even consider doing something?? That should be fairly soon.


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## forumman83 (Aug 12, 2012)

lucy999 said:


> So OP, have you messaged her yet?
> 
> What have you got to lose? Do it. She's reaching out. The worst she could say is no.


No I haven't! See my post above as to why...


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## forumman83 (Aug 12, 2012)

Constable Odo said:


> This statement confuses me. How do you have relationship "end abruptly" but just "fade away"? Those two clauses are in direct conflict with one another.


Yeah so by abruptly I meant kind of out of nowhere and when things seemed to be going well with us. It wasn't like we were not getting along and/or fighting for months or something and the writing was on the wall...So yeah just to clarify. 

Again, it was a distance relationship so we were both calling / texting less, etc then she was leaving for abroad so I wished her fairwell and that was kind of it. But no real closure...


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Are you sure SHE felt you had a connection? I have a very similar friendship with a man I met after my divorce. We are still friends on FB, and I know HE would say we had a great connection. And, I really did enjoy our talks and friendship, but was not interested in a relationship. He really wanted to date, I was very clear with him that I did not, and why, but he did try quite hard even after I told him that. Eventually I got back together with m ex, and he soon started dating someone, and he still is. I still like things on FB from time to time, comment, etc., but not because I'm interested in him. He does not know my relationship is ending again and I'll once again be single because he's not a close friend and I don't discuss stuff like that on FB. But, I guess, if/when he finds that out I will have to be careful about likes and comments because I would not want him to get the wrong idea. I do know from talking to him on FB soon after he started dating his GF he wasn't completely sure about it because of religious differences, so I do not think it is a rock solid relationship. I certainly would not want to give him the wrong idea and jeopardize his relationship. 

Just offering this perspective because perhaps she really does just want to be friends. Either way, you will not know unless you ask her.


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## forumman83 (Aug 12, 2012)

FlowerChild said:


> Oh yes, do wait until she returns. You can still strike up a few friendly conversations. That way, if you two have had communication before asking her to lunch or whatever, it won't seem so random and " out of nowhere "
> 
> Important note though: Do you know if she is single or in a relationship?


Ya it appears as if she is single. I think she is like me and very picky so I think its unlikely she meets somebody she really really likes any times soon. And judging by her pics and whatnot, it looks like she's single.

What is your opinion on simply "liking" one of her photos or something like that? As a way to open a door so-to-speak??


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## forumman83 (Aug 12, 2012)

SecondTime'Round said:


> Are you sure SHE felt you had a connection? .


Thanks for sharing...

Yeah, I am pretty sure. She told me as much although maybe she wasn't sure or was just saying it. 

She told me she liked me a lot...asked me if we were "exclusive", invited me to meet her dad and her sister and sister's husband. Plus, we had some really deep conversations very quickly. She told me she felt something for me "right away" and that was my experience as well


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## Jeffyboy (Apr 7, 2015)

She wouldn't be doing that if she wasn't interested. It's her way of dropping hints.


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## forumman83 (Aug 12, 2012)

Jeffyboy said:


> She wouldn't be doing that if she wasn't interested. It's her way of dropping hints.


Why do you think that, Jeff?


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## Kristisha (Apr 29, 2013)

FlowerChild said:


> My honest opinion is to go for it! Might as well since she's liking yours. Re-pay the favor and play her game.
> 
> EDIT: And hey, she might end up messaging you first!


And have fun along the way


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## forumman83 (Aug 12, 2012)

FlowerChild said:


> My honest opinion is to go for it! Might as well since she's liking yours. Re-pay the favor and play her game.
> 
> EDIT: And hey, she might end up messaging you first!


So you think it's a game she's playing? I'm wondering the same!


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

She wants you to be there when she gets back home. Of course she would grab a coffee!

Edit: if things were as good as you say they were, and she didn't have much choice to leave the country, I'm sure she thought about you just as much as you thought about her.


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## forumman83 (Aug 12, 2012)

gouge_away said:


> She wants you to be there when she gets back home. Of course she would grab a coffee!
> 
> Edit: if things were as good as you say they were, and she didn't have much choice to leave the country, I'm sure she thought about you just as much as you thought about her.


Thanks for your thoughts, Gouge. Appreciated.

My biggest reservation is because things ended kind of awkwardly. I went to see her when I was sick and we spent the weekend together. It just wasn't a great weekend and I kind of wasn't myself, not feeling good and having to meet her parents and whatnot. I explained to her I wasn't feeling well and she kind of understood but didn't know what to make of it. After this weekend we kept in touch but with her leaving soon for abroad, it just kind of faded away and we slowly stopped talking. It wasn't until recently that she liked a couple of my posts...


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

Kristisha said:


> No especially if you had a connection. I believe that she might want to start something so I would say go for it, you have nothing to lose!


Trust me, he stands to lose a lot.

Read his back story. 

That girl is poisonous.

Forumman, unfriend her on Facebook NOW, and move on with your life. You're dealing with a strong personality-disorder candidate. Don't get reeled back in.


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## forumman83 (Aug 12, 2012)

synthetic said:


> Trust me, he stands to lose a lot.
> 
> Read his back story.
> 
> ...


lol that's quite the diagnoses! this is not my ex wife. this was a new girl...


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## Kristisha (Apr 29, 2013)

synthetic said:


> Trust me, he stands to lose a lot.
> 
> Read his back story.
> 
> ...


 Why do you say she is poisonous....?:scratchhead:


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

forumman83 said:


> lol that's quite the diagnoses! this is not my ex wife. this was a new girl...


My apologies! I thought it was your ex-wife man! LOL!:smthumbup:


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

Kristisha said:


> Why do you say she is poisonous....?:scratchhead:


Cuz I thought he was talking about his ex-wife!


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## Kristisha (Apr 29, 2013)

synthetic said:


> Cuz I thought he was talking about his ex-wife!


No biggie:smthumbup:


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## forumman83 (Aug 12, 2012)

synthetic said:


> Cuz I thought he was talking about his ex-wife!


lol no worries...what's your take anyhow? can't seem to make up my mind on how to proceed or simply leave it alone?:scratchhead:


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

forumman83 said:


> lol no worries...what's your take anyhow? can't seem to make up my mind on how to proceed or simply leave it alone?:scratchhead:


Well, don't just leave it alone. If you do, you'll be posting here for the next few months about what to make of every single time she "likes" one of your pics! 

My advice: Next time she posts something on FB, COMMENT on it. See if she comments back.


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

forumman83 said:


> lol no worries...what's your take anyhow? can't seem to make up my mind on how to proceed or simply leave it alone?:scratchhead:


Dude, if I learned one thing from all the ordeals I went through, it's:
Once you've had a relationship with someone, "If she ain't losing sleep over you, don't go chasing her"

You're not in a position to make an "impression" anymore. This girl has seen you and knows all about you. If you meant "that much" to her, she would be chasing you. 

Liking a photo on Facebook is not 'enough' in my book. If she calls or messages you, that's a somewhat acceptable initiation, otherwise, no.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

If she faded on you, she was looking elsewhere or was bored. 

If she is communicating with you again, it means she lost her new plaything or is bored and is putting out feelers. 

A woman that really likes you and is happy with things doesn't fade just because things get boring. She works to help keep things alive. So whatever the reason, I doubt she's that into you.


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

I had met and briefly dated a man whom I had a pretty good connection with who too was leaving overseas for an extended tour. Difference is, he didn't have a facebook and cut it off (as in quit contacting me) a few days before he was set to leave. I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye. While I enjoyed his company (and got into it knowing it wasn't going to last) I was a bit put off by the fact that he didn't even leave me an e-mail address to keep in touch. If he tried to contact me now, I would say no thanks.

You guys have been facebook friends this whole time and not one message? Sure, she's probably looking for your attention by the "likes." But I'm not sure if shes all that into you. Just my opinion.


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## forumman83 (Aug 12, 2012)

yeah, fair enough. I can't totally argue with either of you. I debate myself whether or not the "communication" is any sign of interest. 

But I do wonder if I should try and "feel it out" and see if its more or not, just don't know what to do or just leave it?


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

Feel it out, by all means! Just be aware that she could only be looking for self validation through you, and not INTO you.


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## forumman83 (Aug 12, 2012)

Thanks GA. 

Yeah I'm fully aware of that. Or she also could have simply liked the photo and meant nothing more by it...

Feel it out how? FB message? text? like one of her photos!??

Any opinions?


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## forumman83 (Aug 12, 2012)

Anyone!?


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

Like one of her photos. One where she's showing boobs.

Don't do any more.


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

synthetic said:


> Like one of her photos. One where she's showing boobs.
> 
> Don't do any more.


Yeah the balls back in her court, she can either post more boobs or be gone.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

Exes are exes for a reason, even if you can't figure out that reason and exes don't belong on your social media profiles.


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## forumman83 (Aug 12, 2012)

synthetic said:


> Like one of her photos. One where she's showing boobs.
> 
> Don't do any more.


Hmm. Interesting. I was thinking of just liking a pic. Throwing it back in her court without investing myself too much. 



gouge_away said:


> Yeah the balls back in her court, she can either post more boobs or be gone.


lol

What "message" do you guys think liking one of her pics sends? I almost did it today with something on FB but decided not to for some reason!


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

> What "message" do you guys think liking one of her pics sends?


That you like her picture (or her boobs if she's showing some)


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## Morcoll (Apr 22, 2015)

is this still going on? ridiculous.


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