# I did a 180 on the 180 plan



## ReadyToChange (Nov 6, 2011)

I had been doing well with not contacting my wife, well I didn't have much of a choice since her lawyer said not to contact her directly or electronically. But since she had the balls to send me a Merry Christmas txt message the day after she served me with spousal support papers and during the hearing she lied about why she took a lower paying job, I had enough. 

So I wrote her an email where I told her that I was disappointed that she is lying and that she has gone back on her word on many of the things that we agreed to about our separation. We agreed not to involve our family in property division details yet she calls my sister and says that I'm acting crazy. We agreed to handle this as much as possible without involving lawyers to lessen the cost. She kept me in the dark while she retained a lawyer and filed for support and never once indicated that she was struggling financially. She proposed that we not see other people during our separation yet she begins seeing someone that she worked with for basically our entire marriage. She asks that I make sure she's taken care of through this process and wants me to understand how she feels but how can I when she won't even look at me (during the hearing) or talk to me. 

For over 2 months, I stopped the pleading, and the "i'm sorries'. I hoped that she would miss me but then I had this moment of weakness where I had to get things off my chest and tell her that her treatment of me and her behavior has made me feel. I'm hurt that she is completely against having any communication. I don't feel that I've done anything to warrant this treatment. 

I'm going to continue with the 180 plan if nothing else but for my own sanity and growth. My last hope is to ask the judge to order marriage counseling but it seems useless since it would just appear to her that I'm forcing her to do something. I don't know what else to do. I'm not satisfied with walking away from a marriage when we haven't done nearly enough to try and save this marriage. 

Anyone have luck with requesting marriage counseling from a judge?

Anyone have ideas on how to get my wife to communicate with me?


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