# How to ramp it up....



## Margaret (Mar 31, 2008)

Every day I think "should we have sex tonight". Every day this thought crosses my mind. Every time I calculate in my head how long it's been and decide if I have to bite the bullet and do it. 

Sex is boring. He grabs my boobs and expects me to be turned on... like they are an on off switch. I ask for more foreplay he does once or twice but then goes right back to reaching around and grabbing my boob.

He's not aggressive at all. I need him to be a bit more aggresive.. take control... but he's also shy. 

Ugh. So every night I'm like, naw maybe tomorrow.

Ok Monday we had sex. It hurt at first cause I can't seem to get turnen on. Then it was fun. 

We need sex more ... it really helps keep life in perspective. 

I just don't know what else to do.

Don't tell me dress sexy. It's cold in the house and I feel silly and we have a kid and cats. 

Toys. Been there, tried that. We still have some, but ... hmm..... we have a toy I can play with while pleasuring him but I tell him it's too big to find a smaller one. He hasn't.

Ugh.... it's boring.....


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

i recently asked a question to a mate about my H and i said why doesnt my h ask me to dress up. 
i stil do dress up but i dont get asked. 
but my answer was "its not you, its him. its the way he is programmed".
from that little sentence i actually felt reassurance. 
i decided to take those words on board. 
but the only thing i can do is carry on with what im doing and thats being me. 
so if i want spice , i take it. thats my programme.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

Teach him what you like even if you have to walk him through it. You feel silly at first but it is the best way to learn and pays off down the road when he doesn't have to guess at how much foreplay you need how and where to touch etc....

draconis


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

Margaret-

Although a positive (just do it) attitude would work wonders, until you have dealt with the resentment mentioned on your other threads, you will to a large extent be trying to ride roughshod over your own hurt. My wife read your other thread,and could not understand why you put up with the treatment you are getting.

On the other hand, if you husband treats you like crap because he pines for you to express more desire, then I suppose it could be chicken and egg.


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## Margaret (Mar 31, 2008)

MarkTwain said:


> Margaret-
> 
> Although a positive (just do it) attitude would work wonders, until you have dealt with the resentment mentioned on your other threads, you will to a large extent be trying to ride roughshod over your own hurt. My wife read your other thread,and could not understand why you put up with the treatment you are getting.
> 
> On the other hand, if you husband treats you like crap because he pines for you to express more desire, then I suppose it could be chicken and egg.


I think it might be a chicken/egg thing. We hung out tonight and giggled and chatted like the best friends we are. It was nice. He's been being more careful in the kitchen not to trash the place and we are working on it. I don't hold grudges and I don't hold resentment. 

Hmm... kid went to be early. Now must be my chance.


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## mrshutty (Feb 24, 2009)

I'd suggest making some personal videos for each other. Get frisky for one another on camera, have fun, look sexy, and get turned out while making it! Watch the videos together to spice up any moment and get things going for the both of you. 

If you don't already have a video camera, A good webcam works great! 

I highly recommend giving this a try.


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