# "You're Worthless" What a way to start my morning!



## lovinghimforever (Dec 14, 2009)

So my morning started out by getting told that I am worthless. I only started working 4 weeks ago and am trying to get off my feet. My boyfriend starts barking at me this morning about what I need to do with this week's paycheck (as he has with all previous paychecks). Mind you, he makes 4x more money than I do. I don't mind helping him out, afterall I want a life with him. But I don't make a lot of money and he expects me to basically use all of my paycheck to what he needs to pay. He tells me nothing is for free and has kept count of everything he has helped me with while I was not working. He says he kept a roof over my head, fed me and there was always gas in his truck so that I can go find employment. I've helped him in the past when I've come across some money and have never brought it up. But he sure keeps tabs of everything I owe him. 

Am I wrong to feel offended? Or is he right for wanting to get paid back for everything that he has helped me with?


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

If ANY man ever told me I was "worthless" (regardless if he was the so-called "love of my life", my "soulmate", or the flippin' King of England)... that would be the LAST time he would see my a$$.

Show some backbone, OP. Set him straight. In no uncertain terms.

Why do you "want a life" with a man who thinks you are worthless?


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

Is this the boyfriend who is waiting on his wife to divorce him? Guess the honeymoon is over and he is showing his true self. You knew what he was when you took him. He wants everything his way. And I guess he needs his money to care for his wife and kids. So he is expecting you to repay every penny he lent you.

You should be angry and get raid of his controlling ass.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
I'd never call someone worthless, most certainly not someone I loved.

If there is something specific he wants, its fair to talk about it nicely, but saying something globally negative is never good.


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## DayOne (Sep 19, 2014)

He helped you out, when you needed it. As a partner should.

BUT! He didn't 'buy' you. And he doesn't own you.

Dudes obviously got a lot of pent up resentment, anger going on. 

Maybe because he had a lot of covert contracts in his head, written while he was 'carrying' you. Or maybe he's just a d1ck. 


Either he extracts his head from up his own self righteous a££, or he can go b'bye. 

And you can move onto someone better. (which, IMO is the better route anyway. I don't get the sense he's going to change)


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## DayOne (Sep 19, 2014)

Wait? Are you still pregnant with his kid?


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

lovinghimforever said:


> So my morning started out by getting told that I am worthless.


This is all I needed to read for me to pose the question...Umm....Why the hell are you still with this loser?


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

DayOne said:


> Wait? Are you still pregnant with his kid?


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## DayOne (Sep 19, 2014)

happy as a clam said:


>



http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-through-divorce-separation/278681-my-bf-still-married.html



lovinghimforever said:


> My boyfriend and I have been together for two years and we are expecting our first child together. He is still legally married.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

Day One and Happy-As-A Clam you've got it! 

I was wondering if she is still pregnant? And what's happening to the divorce and wife. I guess he needs the money.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

I agree with what DayOne said, he didn't buy you, he doesn't own you, nobody should be keeping score. 

Reminds me of the day one of my employees came to work and had to walk around and tell everyone he was a moron, he was following his wife's "ORDERS". Another time he threw his little radio away because his wife wouldn't let him buy new batteries, she "ORDERED" him to throw it in the trash so he wouldn't keep asking for new batteries (this is absolutely true). Notice the word "order". OP think very carefully of how you want your relationship , your marriage and your life to be. Do you want a partnership or a dictatorship? Do you want a husband or a supervisor? Do you want to be happy and relaxed or spend your life walking on egg shells and being controlled?

For the record earlier mentioned employee is still married to the same woman, he's been miserable every single day. He recently needed to have some surgery, he told me he hoped to never wake up once they put him under. How sad is that?


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## lovinghimforever (Dec 14, 2009)

brooklynAnn said:


> Day One and Happy-As-A Clam you've got it!
> 
> I was wondering if she is still pregnant? And what's happening to the divorce and wife. I guess he needs the money.


Still pregnant. Divorce is still pending. He recently had child support court. And is trying to appeal the decision because the bastard doesn't want to send more than he feels he has to.


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

lovinghimforever said:


> Still pregnant. Divorce is still pending. He recently had child support court. And is trying to appeal the decision because the bastard doesn't want to send more than he feels he has to.


Sounds like his wife is fortunate that he is leaving. Sounds like this guy is a real winner.

You should break off your relationship with him and talk to a lawyer about how you secure child support for your child.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

Do you really expect more from this man? Look at the way he treats his children. Things are going to get worst, why do you keep waiting for him? You are going to help him because he helped you. That's the way he sees it. He wasn't being the caring, loving boyfriend. He was keeping a tally of what he spent. You might want to start earning more because you have child support to help with. You wanted him.

Stop the name calling. Because you can start name calling too. Really, put a stop it. You need to stop being so dependent on this man. That baby is going to need you.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

lovinghimforever said:


> Still pregnant. Divorce is still pending. He recently had child support court. And is trying to appeal the decision because the bastard doesn't want to send more than he feels he has to.


LOL. Sounds to me like you might want to start taking your cues from his maybe-one-day-if-you're-lucky-ex-wife.


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## Pablodiablo (Jun 12, 2015)

Maybe he says these things because he's taking a cue from you. How much self worth do you have OP?


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

lovinghimforever said:


> So my morning started out by getting told that I am worthless. I only started working 4 weeks ago and am trying to get off my feet. My boyfriend starts barking at me this morning about what I need to do with this week's paycheck (as he has with all previous paychecks). Mind you, he makes 4x more money than I do. I don't mind helping him out, *afterall I want a life with him*. But I don't make a lot of money and he expects me to basically use all of my paycheck to what he needs to pay. He tells me nothing is for free and has kept count of everything he has helped me with while I was not working. He says he kept a roof over my head, fed me and there was always gas in his truck so that I can go find employment. I've helped him in the past when I've come across some money and have never brought it up. But he sure keeps tabs of everything I owe him.
> 
> Am I wrong to feel offended? Or is he right for wanting to get paid back for everything that he has helped me with?


 Offended? I cannot imagine why you are with this guy.


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## coffee4me (Feb 6, 2013)

Was he supporting just you during your time of unemployment or your kids as well? Did your kids witness the arguement? How long were your unemployed?


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## skype (Sep 25, 2013)

When are you going to start loving yourself forever?


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## lovinghimforever (Dec 14, 2009)

coffee4me said:


> Was he supporting just you during your time of unemployment or your kids as well? Did your kids witness the arguement? How long were your unemployed?


He did not support my kids. My kids are currently living with their Dad as he is in a far better situation than I am. I was unemployed since April, so for about 3 months.

I explained to him this morning that I was trying to save up because I have kids and they will be starting school soon. His response, "**** your kids".


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## lovinghimforever (Dec 14, 2009)

Pablodiablo said:


> Maybe he says these things because he's taking a cue from you. How much self worth do you have OP?


I have this problem (in my previous marriage too) where I hold on and endure it and think that if I love them enough, am the perfect wife, maybe just maybe they'll open up their eyes, realize what they have in front of them and try to be better for me too.


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## ticktock33 (Jun 6, 2014)

Leave as quickly as possible! It will only get worse, you shouldn't keep tabs on someone that you love and want to marry.


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## Kerry (Jan 9, 2009)

lovinghimforever said:


> Am I wrong to feel offended? Or is he right for wanting to get paid back for everything that he has helped me with?


Sweetie, I think you need to ask better questions.



lovinghimforever said:


> I want a life with him.


You might start with "why" to the above statement.

Also, does this guy actually possess qualities found in a good husband? Is he kind, compassionate, caring? Is he available for you? 

Be honest with yourself about the qualities you'd like in a life-long partner and check against THAT list, not against what you "think" you see in him, but what he shows you in everyday situations.


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## DayOne (Sep 19, 2014)

lovinghimforever said:


> I explained to him this morning that I was trying to save up because I have kids and they will be starting school soon. His response, "**** your kids".



Aaaaannnnnd you're done. 

Or rather, he is. Fk him. A long term relationship, a future, with an ahole who is already saying "fk your kids", and is refusing to (or trying to) pay for his own?!?!?


Er, no.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

lovinghimforever said:


> Still pregnant. Divorce is still pending. He recently had child support court. And is trying to appeal the decision because the bastard doesn't want to send more than he feels he has to.


Ok. What is wrong with you???

Why do you want anything to do with a man who won't support HIS OWN SPAWN???


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

lovinghimforever said:


> I explained to him this morning that I was trying to save up because I have kids and they will be starting school soon. His response, "**** your kids".



DTMFA!!!!! What a pig.


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## lovecat (Jul 31, 2015)

He sounds dreadful! This fixer upper is beyond repair. I hope you drop him off at the tip where he belongs.

To say horrid things about you and your children and trying to shirk his responsibilities shows you the low life scum that he is!


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## Froggi (Sep 10, 2014)

You are still there with that piece of excrement? He said eff your kids and you are on here complaining about being told you are worthless?

You are not worthless. You should, however, have more consideration for your kids and pack your stuff and get out. Now. Go to a shelter if you have to. Go to a friend, or family member. 

Have no further communication with him. None. He can see the baby when he goes to court for visitation. Don't let him come to the birth. 

File for custody and child support when the baby is born.

If you wish to stay with this assclown, and be abused, please find a suitable home for your innocent children.


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

lucy999 said:


> DTMFA!!!!! What a pig.


Word...If ANYONE were to talk about my children in that manner, they'd suddenly be up against MR in "Wrath of God" mode.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

You sound like you have the same issues as the person who recently started the thread: Is this going NOWHERE?

It doesn't matter how much advice you get or how many people tell you to wake up and smell the roses, you will stay and hate it, but you'll stay anyway. What's the point in constantly complaining if you won't do anything about your situation?


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## Pam (Oct 7, 2010)

I'm sorry, you aren't "expecting our first child together". You are knocked up and living with a sorry no-good. Your life is going to continue to spiral downward if you don't do something very soon.


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## Haviette (Jun 20, 2015)

I'm sorry to say it, but you married a controlling tyrant who wants to keep you helpless and broke, and with no savings of your own, so you can't get away when the sh#t hits the fan. In his mind, you owe him big time, and someday he will start taking it out of your hide, or he will make you wish you were dead. You owe him, remember? Get out of there as fast as you can, because he has plans for you, and your life is in danger. Call a domestic violence hotline, and find a safehouse. They can keep you safe, and provide you with a lawyer. Don't let your employer know what is going on, because he won't want to deal with it, and he might fire you. Please get yourself out of this situation, because, with the Devil, there will be Hell to pay. I wish you the best of everything, because you are precious, and never anything less.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

lovinghimforever said:


> So my morning started out by getting told that I am worthless. I only started working 4 weeks ago and am trying to get off my feet. My boyfriend starts barking at me this morning about what I need to do with this week's paycheck (as he has with all previous paychecks). Mind you, he makes 4x more money than I do. I don't mind helping him out, afterall I want a life with him. But I don't make a lot of money and he expects me to basically use all of my paycheck to what he needs to pay. He tells me nothing is for free and has kept count of everything he has helped me with while I was not working. He says he kept a roof over my head, fed me and there was always gas in his truck so that I can go find employment. I've helped him in the past when I've come across some money and have never brought it up. But he sure keeps tabs of everything I owe him.
> 
> Am I wrong to feel offended? Or is he right for wanting to get paid back for everything that he has helped me with?


*Simply translated: He's far more interested in money than he is in a loving, caring relationship with you! You can definitely read between the lines here! And rest assured that it will only get worse the longer that you remain with him!

IMHO, either he fastly changes his tune and profusely apologizes to you, or you have every right to give him the air!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lyndy (Oct 2, 2015)

Sorry but get out!


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## Deguello (Apr 3, 2015)

It sounds to me like he has some "control issues",I really understand,my wife has control issues,but she is in recovery for that,we are both in recovery that being said,he has to want help,as do you.just my opinion

Deguello


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

Any update from the OP?


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

What he is asking is unreasonable and hurtful to the point of unproductive. If the OP is still in this situation I have some negotiation advice.


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