# I love my wife but I'm beginning to think I'm gay/bi. Need advice



## jlegend (Jan 6, 2016)

I'm 34 years old and I've been married 12 years. I met my wife in college and she stood by me while I got my bachelors and finished PA school. I've always been a heterosexual male, at least I thought I was. I recently met a friend through another friend and I found myself getting aroused by him. After meeting him a few times, I found out he was gay. It's my fault because I pursued him and told him I thought he was attractive. I also told him that although I'm not gay, I would sleep to him if I were. He was flattered and started to pursue me after that. A few weeks later, we had sex for the first time. It didn't turn out like I expected but I did enjoy it. Over the past few weeks, he's showed me so many things and has pleased me better than my wife ever has. I find myself wanting to be with him more than my own wife!

So here's the problem. I know I'm not gay even though I do enjoy sex with him. I also love my wife and although she isn't perfect, she pleases me in ways that he cannot. I've read that all men at some point go through a phase where they question their sexuality and sleep with other men. I realized that I'm at this point in my life but I'm confused because I find myself falling in love with him. What I need to know is at what point will I have to say that I'm gay or bi? As of now, I'm neither of those things but if things continue down this path, I may have to consider questioning my sexuality. I want to tell my wife so bad but I don't want to ruin our marriage if I'm not sure since this may just be a phase I'm going through. I'm hoping some other men have been in this situation and can shed some light on what I'm feeling.


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

This is a joke, right? If not, I guess I missed out on the "being and acting gay but saying I'm not" phase of my sexual growth. Bummer for my gay friends, I guess.


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## Lostme (Nov 14, 2014)

Wow you sound gay to me, and you should me telling your wife immediately so that she can get and STD test. It looks like you should have worried about your marriage before you screwed someone else. 

I think you are gay and are in denial, do your wife a favor and let her know.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Dude, guys don't go through a gay phase. You are gay. That's the ONLY way you could ever be attracted to a man. The serious thought of having sex with a man would make straight guys want to vomit. Whatever you've read was written by a gay guy. 

One thing, if this isn't a troll, it shatters my thinking that most people who are gay were born that way.
If it's a lifestyle of choice, as you seem to be making, that makes it particularly strange to me.

Tell your wife so she can at least avoid getting HIV or other horrible diseases. I beg you to.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jlegend (Jan 6, 2016)

TheTruthHurts said:


> This is a joke, right? If not, I guess I missed out on the "being and acting gay but saying I'm not" phase of my sexual growth. Bummer for my gay friends, I guess.


Maybe you did or didn't go through that phase. Maybe you aren't there yet. Maybe you already have and just don't want to admit it. Anyway, I understand and it's fine. The point is that I know who I am and I'm not gay. Maybe you could call it experimenting but I'm not to the point where I'm looking at random guys and wanting to have sex. This is an isolated incident for me and I just don't know what direction it will head in. That's why I need some like minded men to chime in.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

I think the point is the only men you're going to find-- ARE GAY..

Not judging you. It's your life. But please, you need to accept that you're gay. That's all there is to it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

jlegend said:


> So here's the problem. I know I'm not gay even though I do enjoy sex with him. I also love my wife and although she isn't perfect, she pleases me in ways that he cannot. *I've read that all men at some point go through a phase where they question their sexuality and sleep with other men. *I realized that I'm at this point in my life but I'm confused because I find myself falling in love with him. What I need to know is at what point will I have to say that I'm gay or bi? As of now, I'm neither of those things but if things continue down this path, I may have to consider questioning my sexuality. I want to tell my wife so bad but I don't want to ruin our marriage if I'm not sure since this may just be a phase I'm going through. I'm hoping some other men have been in this situation and can shed some light on what I'm feeling.



OP- I'm not sure where you read the bolded part, but whoever wrote that was full of sh!t. I'm male and never questioned my sexuality or experimented sexually with another man.

I'm not judging your sexuality. However, cheating on your wife and exposing her to STDs is cruel and you have no right to gamble with her health.

Please divorce her, you are a remorseless cheater and should not be married.

FWIW, you may not be able to admit that you are gay, but you are. That is a separate issue, in my mind, from the cheating part.


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

Maybe you're not gay but bi. Or maybe you've been gay all along and just haven't figured it out until this point. 

Either way makes no difference to me, I don't care if you like meat and potatoes or tuna tacos.

But, you are still cheating. That's the big problem. Your wife deserves to know, period. I've always said, I think I would be less hurt if my husband left me for a man rather than a woman because a man would be giving him something that I never could that he obviously had a pull towards that he couldn't control.

By all means, find out if this man is what you want, or if you're really gay or bi or whatever, that's fine. Just don't drag your wife along with you while you're waiting to discover it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

jlegend said:


> I'm 34 years old and I've been married 12 years. I met my wife in college and she stood by me while I got my bachelors and finished PA school. I've always been a heterosexual male, at least I thought I was. I recently met a friend through another friend and I found myself getting aroused by him. After meeting him a few times, I found out he was gay. It's my fault because I pursued him and told him I thought he was attractive. I also told him that although I'm not gay, I would sleep to him if I were. He was flattered and started to pursue me after that. A few weeks later, we had sex for the first time. It didn't turn out like I expected but I did enjoy it. Over the past few weeks, he's showed me so many things and has pleased me better than my wife ever has. I find myself wanting to be with him more than my own wife!
> 
> So here's the problem. I know I'm not gay even though I do enjoy sex with him. I also love my wife and although she isn't perfect, she pleases me in ways that he cannot. I've read that all men at some point go through a phase where they question their sexuality and sleep with other men. I realized that I'm at this point in my life but I'm confused because I find myself falling in love with him. What I need to know is at what point will I have to say that I'm gay or bi? As of now, I'm neither of those things but if things continue down this path, I may have to consider questioning my sexuality. I want to tell my wife so bad but I don't want to ruin our marriage if I'm not sure since this may just be a phase I'm going through. I'm hoping some other men have been in this situation and can shed some light on what I'm feeling.




You married your wife, holy bonds of matrimony. For better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness and in health, etc.

Then you decided to try having sex with a gay friend, now on a regular basis. You chose to cheat on your wife and ruin your marriage and vows. You purposely commit adultery.

Now you don't think you're gay? Really?!

You have sex with a gay man and love it. But you aren't gay?


I have sex with my wife, and I love it but that doesn't mean I'm straight?


If I did whatever I desired, I would of had sex with other woman already and maybe even a guy in my past. But I chose to be faithful to my wife, my marriage and vows. You chose to do the opposite and are trying to justify it away.


I have more sympathy for your soon to be devastated wife.


You could of told your wife what turns you on and she could of done that with you but instead you decided to start cheating with a gay man, but you aren't gay, and how he pleases you way better than your poor wife!!!


The phase you're going through is an excuse to try and justify away your cheating and lusts. Most people think about it but know better, while some just do not.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

CuddleBug said:


> You married your wife, holy bonds of matrimony. For better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness and in health, etc.
> 
> Then you decided to try having sex with a gay friend, now on a regular basis. You chose to cheat on your wife and ruin your marriage and vows. You purposely commit adultery.
> 
> ...


I stand corrected.... Maybe some guys do want to experiment. I had no idea... Really....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EnigmaGirl (Feb 7, 2015)

> I also love my wife


No, no you don't.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Your obviously bi and more obviously a cheater!

Why do you think it is ok to cheat?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Who cares if you're gay, bi, heterosexual or asexual?

The most important thing here is that you're a lousy cheater.


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## Abc123wife (Sep 18, 2013)

Have you cheated on your wife with females as well? However you want to label yourself, it is cheating. The way you tell it, it seems you have no remorse at all. 

Just curious, do you have children with your wife?


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*IMHO, you are definitely "bi," well on your way to being gay! And the biggest thing that you are is a deceptive cheater! That being said, do not even think of having straight sex with her, you do not deserve to and she does not deserve to possibly catch some STD from you and/or your lover!

Tell her immediately about your situation so she can make the informed choice to immediately move you out of the home and can initiate divorce proceedings against you ASAP!

Sorry to be as blunt I am, but I am not being nearly as condemnationable about your sexual preference or even who it is that you desire to sleep with as much as betraying a person that you had previously pledged your total fidelity to!

Glad that you are on the road to finally finding your true sexual identity, but your deceived W truly needs to know about it post haste! 

After all, she does have her own life to live and if that is in a truly loving and committed heterosexual lifestyle with a like-thinking man, then that ultimate choice should be hers!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

LosingHim said:


> Maybe you're not gay but bi.


Gates ain't the richest man on earth. He's just has more money than anyone else.​


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

If you don't tell your wife, you are truly a horrible person. You most likely have a disease now. People that don't cheat shouldn't have to fear a disease from their spouse. 

I wish I could convince you to tell her. How evil it would be to have sex with her after this guy!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Whether you are gay or bi does not matter. What matters is that you are cheating on your wife and exposing her to the possibility of STDs.

You have to tell your wife that you are cheating. Then she can decide if she wants to remain married to you. That's her choice. If you keep your affair secret and do not tell her, then you are being cruel and abusive to your wife.

So what are you going to do? Are you going to tell her?


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## always_hopefull (Aug 11, 2011)

Op I hate to break it to you but straight men do not have sexual relations with other men. You falsely read/believe that all men "at some point question their sexuality and sleep with other men". Now you have come here and asked for advice, I'm sorry it wasn't what you were expecting. However, if you feel the men here are wrong, or lying to you, I suggest hosting a big family dinner and asking all the men when they first had sex with another man. I'm sure you will find the replies interesting.

It's okay to be gay or bi, but it's not okay to cheat, eventually she will find out, hopefully it's not by testing positive to an STD.


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

In the unlikely event this thread is real, I will be explicit. Men who are heterosexual - which is most men - will never desire or act on any sexual thoughts about other men.

Men who are not 100% heterosexual - which is a minority - fall on a continuum - where you fit is unknown but not in the 80%+ 100% heterosexual camp. 

For the people on the continuum, I can understand you would look at a gay man and say "that's not me". That's fine. Most classify men who aren't gay but aren't heterosexual as bisexual which you clearly are acting like.

So first - no - most men don't have thoughts of sex with men. Second - cheating is cheating. It's bad - very incredibly hurtful.


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## Hopeful Cynic (Apr 27, 2014)

jlegend said:


> Maybe you did or didn't go through that phase. Maybe you aren't there yet. Maybe you already have and just don't want to admit it. Anyway, I understand and it's fine. The point is that I know who I am and I'm not gay. *Maybe you could call it experimenting but I'm not to the point where I'm looking at random guys and wanting to have sex.* This is an isolated incident for me and I just don't know what direction it will head in. That's why I need some like minded men to chime in.


Do you look at random women and want to have sex with them? No? Then you're not heterosexual either?


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

jlegend said:


> I'm 34 years old and I've been married 12 years. I met my wife in college and she stood by me while I got my bachelors and finished PA school. I've always been a heterosexual male, at least I thought I was. I recently met a friend through another friend and I found myself getting aroused by him. After meeting him a few times, I found out he was gay. It's my fault because I pursued him and told him I thought he was attractive. I also told him that although I'm not gay, I would sleep to him if I were. He was flattered and started to pursue me after that. A few weeks later, we had sex for the first time. It didn't turn out like I expected but I did enjoy it. Over the past few weeks, he's showed me so many things and has pleased me better than my wife ever has. I find myself wanting to be with him more than my own wife!
> 
> So here's the problem. I know I'm not gay even though I do enjoy sex with him. I also love my wife and although she isn't perfect, she pleases me in ways that he cannot. I've read that all men at some point go through a phase where they question their sexuality and sleep with other men. I realized that I'm at this point in my life but I'm confused because I find myself falling in love with him. What I need to know is at what point will I have to say that I'm gay or bi? As of now, I'm neither of those things but if things continue down this path, I may have to consider questioning my sexuality. I want to tell my wife so bad but I don't want to ruin our marriage if I'm not sure since this may just be a phase I'm going through. I'm hoping some other men have been in this situation and can shed some light on what I'm feeling.


Dear Penthouse forum......


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

I thought the kids would be back in school by now ...


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

jlegend said:


> I'm 34 years old and I've been married 12 years. I met my wife in college and she stood by me while I got my bachelors and finished PA school. I've always been a heterosexual male, at least I thought I was. I recently met a friend through another friend and I found myself getting aroused by him. After meeting him a few times, I found out he was gay. It's my fault because I pursued him and told him I thought he was attractive. I also told him that although I'm not gay, I would sleep to him if I were. He was flattered and started to pursue me after that. A few weeks later, we had sex for the first time. It didn't turn out like I expected but I did enjoy it. Over the past few weeks, he's showed me so many things and has pleased me better than my wife ever has. I find myself wanting to be with him more than my own wife!
> 
> So here's the problem. I know I'm not gay even though I do enjoy sex with him. I also love my wife and although she isn't perfect, she pleases me in ways that he cannot. I've read that all men at some point go through a phase where they question their sexuality and sleep with other men. I realized that I'm at this point in my life but I'm confused because I find myself falling in love with him. What I need to know is at what point will I have to say that I'm gay or bi? As of now, I'm neither of those things but if things continue down this path, I may have to consider questioning my sexuality. I want to tell my wife so bad but I don't want to ruin our marriage if I'm not sure since this may just be a phase I'm going through. I'm hoping some other men have been in this situation and can shed some light on what I'm feeling.


Stop lying to yourself (you ARE Bi or Homosexual) and your wife, she will probably be devastated and has a right to know.


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## jlegend (Jan 6, 2016)

You guys are missing the point. I'm neither gay or bi at this time. Yes I've been sleeping with a man but that's just it. A man. I have no sexual desire to be with any other men which is why this is a phase. Now at this point, it seems like almost nobody here is willing to help and for those that asked, yes we have 3 children and also, I won't tell her about this unless I'm sure of my sexuality.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

jlegend said:


> You guys are missing the point. I'm neither gay or bi at this time. Yes I've been sleeping with a man but that's just it. A man. I have no sexual desire to be with any other men which is why this is a phase. Now at this point, it seems like almost nobody here is willing to help and for those that asked, yes we have 3 children and also, I won't tell her about this unless I'm sure of my sexuality.


So, you're ok with being a cheater, then?


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

SecondTime'Round said:


> So, you're ok with being a cheater, then?


I don't think that part is even entering his thought process. 

Which is the saddest part. Gay or not gay...i doubt too many people will care...loyal or disloyal...that's kind of a big deal.


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## Sun Catcher (Dec 6, 2013)

jlegend said:


> You guys are missing the point. I'm neither gay or bi at this time. Yes I've been sleeping with a man but that's just it. A man. I have no sexual desire to be with any other men which is why this is a phase. Now at this point, it seems like almost nobody here is willing to help and for those that asked, yes we have 3 children and also, I won't tell her about this unless I'm sure of my sexuality.


You don't seem to understand OP. Nobody here could care less what you think your sexual orientation is. You CHEATED on your wife, you are dishonest and may have exposed her to an STD! 

Man up and confess to your wife so she can get herself tested and decide if she wants to stay with a liar and a cheater.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

jlegend said:


> You guys are missing the point. I'm neither gay or bi at this time. *Yes I've been sleeping with a man* but that's just it. A man. I have no sexual desire to be with any other men which is why this is a phase. Now at this point, it seems like almost nobody here is willing to help and for those that asked, yes we have 3 children and also, *I won't tell her about this unless I'm sure of my sexuality.*


If you're sleeping with a man, you are GAY. You have been sleeping with a man. You're gay. 

Not telling your wife is just really, really awful.

You say you're not gay. Now you say you're not sure of your sexuality. I'm sure. You're gay.

The problem is that you are cheating on your wife, don't love your wife, and don't even know for sure if you're gay or straight.

Any of the three above should be reason for you to choose to divorce your wife instead of keeping her around to give her diseases, use her for security, and break her heart.

I still don't understand why you've suddenly decided to be gay. That part makes me think this is some kid trying to have some fun.


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## BrokenLady (Jan 19, 2015)

The whole "Most men question their sexuality" is about wondering how you 'love' your best friend when you're 13 NOT having sex as an adult! 

The thing which REALLY annoys me is the bisexual 'Get out of jail free card' when it comes to infidelity. If you aren't satisfied in your relationship & can't keep your marriage vows DIVORCE. it's quite simple, if you're gay you won't ever be happy in a monogamous relationship with your wife. Divorce. If you're bi you've chosen your partner & made promises. 

I wouldn't have unprotected sex with someone that I don't trust completely. You are not a faithful husband. Tell the truth or avoid sex while you go through the STD testing. I have close friends who are gay....thankfully they are old, empathic, kind & responsible enough to NOT risk others lives. If your boyfriend has no respect for you or your wife's health.

You sound like an incredibly selfish man. You are damaging your wife for life. You have no empathy. It's all about what you GET. If your boyfriend is getting off on taking your cherry I don't care about him. If he thinks he's going to get a family you're being cruel to him too. Grow-up & stop messing with people's lives.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

After your wife finds out about your male lover, ask her if she thinks you're gay.

I bet she agrees with the rest of us.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

jlegend said:


> You guys are missing the point.


 No, you are in the infidelity section and you are a cheater. 



> I'm neither gay or bi at this time.


 Kind of funny how you are definitive in this, but can't believe some men NEVER want to experiment with same gender sex. 




> Yes I've been sleeping with a man but that's just it. A man. I have no sexual desire to be with any other men which is why this is a phase. .


 You are an adulterer who chose to PURSUE a man for infidelity. No, not a phase Sigmund.



> Now at this point, it seems like almost nobody here is willing to help and for those that asked, yes we have 3 children and also, I won't tell her about this unless I'm sure of my sexuality.


Help you with what? You have your mind already made up.


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## HarryDoyle (Jan 19, 2013)

If you walk like a duck, and quack like a duck, guess what?


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## HarryDoyle (Jan 19, 2013)

You're a duck!


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

So, where does it say that if you are straight gay or bi that you have the right to be a cheat?

Oh, yeah. .. it doesn't, does it?

If you want to have sex with people other than your spouse tell her and see what happens.

You seem to have a partially open marriage. 

Now open it all the way. Give your wife the same freedom of expression that you have apropriated for yourself.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

HarryDoyle said:


> If you walk like a duck, and quack like a duck, guess what?


Sadly I know someone who did exactly this in real life. He broke his wife so badly thst she ended up deciding to do what he did and she became a Lesbian living with a woman who was as butch as possible. She looked more manly than her ex husband as it happened.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

jlegend said:


> You guys are missing the point. I'm neither gay or bi at this time. Yes I've been sleeping with a man but that's just it. A man. I have no sexual desire to be with any other men which is why this is a phase. Now at this point, it seems like almost nobody here is willing to help and for those that asked, yes we have 3 children and also, I won't tell her about this unless I'm sure of my sexuality.



The point is... Don't cheat on your wife. I don't care if it's with you neighbor's pet. If you put you penis inside anyone other than your wife you've cheated on her. 

If you want to know if you'd be happier divorced and exploring another lifestyle, then file. Just don't lead a double life, that won't end well. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Kivlor (Oct 27, 2015)

jlegend said:


> You guys are missing the point. I'm neither gay or bi at this time. Yes I've been sleeping with a man but that's just it. A man. I have no sexual desire to be with any other men which is why this is a phase. Now at this point, it seems like almost nobody here is willing to help and for those that asked, yes we have 3 children and also, *I won't tell her about this unless I'm sure of my sexuality.*


Wait, I thought you were sure it is just a phase; that you're definitely not gay? Which is it?

JG, male homosexuals are much more prone to disease than heterosexuals in my country. To the tune of 70% of new AIDS cases being among homosexual men, while they only make up ~1.5% of the population (do the math on how disproportionate that is!). You are risking your wife's health. You need to tell her what you've done; what you're doing. It is unconscionable to not inform her of the risks you are taking and exposing *her* to.


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

I think YOU are missing the point.

No one here cares if you like franks and beans or kitty cats. 

The only thing people care about here on the INFIDELITY forum is that you are cheating on your wife! Whether you're getting your knob slobbed by a man or a woman really doesn't matter. What matters is that you're getting your knob slobbed by someone other than your WIFE.


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## jlegend (Jan 6, 2016)

Still, I don't think you understand where I'm coming from so let me break this down.

I understand and accept that I made vows to my wife. At that time, I was sure she was the woman for me and I was a heterosexual male. Based on that, it would be considered cheating if I went out and slept with another woman. That would mean that I'm telling myself that she isn't the woman for me. 

What I'm doing now is not cheating at all. It's about finding myself and finding who I am. This man gives me things that my wife can't possibly do so I'm not cheating on her since she did nothing to influence this behavior. This is all me. My issue is that I'm confused as to whether or not this is a phase or if this life is truly for me. It's like buying a new car. You go out, go on a test drive, then go home and sleep on it. Maybe for a few days. You don't just go out and buy a car without driving it and then ending up not liking it a few days later. That's what this is. If the time comes where I feel I'm truly gay and I prefer to be with him, then I will tell her and move on from there. If I finally realize that this is indeed a phase an that I really belong to her, then I will discontinue this relationship and move on with her.

I do need to apologize since I've been reading here and I see there are some truly hurt people here. I thought I could get good advice here but I realize that since there are so many hurt people, they will jump all over me and call me a cheater without looking at the facts. I refuse to just run off on the deep end and tell her what I've been doing unless I'm sure about this decision.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Why don't you let your wife decide if you are cheating on her? Why don't you let her decide if she wants to be married to a man who can make excusues for cheating and rationalize it.

I'm very sure that you are not going to tell her what you are doing. You are exposing her to STDs and not giving her the choice that is hers.

So.. I hope she finds out on her own very soon. That way she can decide, instead of you controlling her in this fashion.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

jlegend said:


> Still, I don't think you understand where I'm coming from so let me break this down.
> 
> I understand and accept that I made vows to my wife. At that time, I was sure she was the woman for me and I was a heterosexual male. Based on that, it would be considered cheating if I went out and slept with another woman. That would mean that I'm telling myself that she isn't the woman for me.
> 
> ...


You are 100% wrong. Regardless of what your "motivation" for having sex with someone other than your wife (i.e. "it's not you, it's me, honey!") it's still cheating! How in the world do you not see that? 

You are in SERIOUS denial, or delusional.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

So if she decided to just "test drive" the next door neighbour, because it's not you, it's her, you'd be totally okay with that, right?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

LosingHim said:


> I think YOU are missing the point.
> 
> No one here cares if you like franks and beans or kitty cats.
> 
> The only thing people care about here on the INFIDELITY forum is that you are cheating on your wife! Whether you're getting your knob slobbed by a man or a woman really doesn't matter. What matters is that you're getting your knob slobbed by someone other than your WIFE.


I misread that as kinky cats. Then realised that my parrot stole my glasses last night and that I need to get them adjusted, again. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

jlegend said:


> Still, I don't think you understand where I'm coming from so let me break this down.
> 
> I understand and accept that I made vows to my wife. At that time, I was sure she was the woman for me and I was a heterosexual male. Based on that, it would be considered cheating if I went out and slept with another woman. That would mean that I'm telling myself that she isn't the woman for me.
> 
> ...


Look. I will use all of my qualifications in counselling and mental health to break this down for you into four bite sized segments so that you will be able to better understand them:-

1 You
2 Are
3 A
4 Cheat 

If you have sexual intercourse or sexual relations of any kind with any person or any other living creature other than your spouse or your significant other, then you ARE a cheat.

When Mr Clinton said "I did not have sex with that woman" he was doing something you are doing. Clinton was lying to HIMSELF.

You are lying to yourself.

You are doing this to find yourself. 

You find yourself cheating on your wife.

And that is what you are now you have found yourself. You are a cheater.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

Please look down. Your pants are on fire.


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## Sun Catcher (Dec 6, 2013)

Hey JL, just wondering are you pitching or catching during these rendezvous with your male partner? Ya know it some circles it can make a difference on whether you be gay or not. :wink2:


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

Listen......I understand you're confused about your sexuality. That's fine. I'm sure many married people have stumbled across "oh ****, I'm married to a woman, but I'm thinking about what it's like to have sex with that man over there!" 

I would say that in itself isn't cheating. Those are just thoughts.

The difference is, you ACTED on it. When you let someone other than your spouse stimulate your penis to the point of ejaculation, that's cheating. Stimulating someone else's penis or clitoris to ejaculation is cheating. Touching another penis or vagina outside of your spouses is cheating. Kissing another persons mouth, outside of your spouses is cheating. I could go on here, but I won't. Were all adults, we know what sexual activity is. 

YOU don't get to say this isn't cheating just because you're confused. 

I'm a pretty open, forgiving person. If my husband came home and said he slept with a man, I would instantly forgive him. This is not to say it wouldn't hurt, because it would. But the kind of person that I am, I view sexuality as something you don't control. You don't choose who you're attracted to. So why would I forgive him instantly? Because a man is something I'm not and there was obviously something deep within my husband that I could never fulfill. This isn't just some other woman that has bigger boobs than me and has the same sex organs I have. 

BUT. Given all that, my instant forgiveness and heartbreak that he wanted a man and not me, ITS STILL CHEATING because he it wasn't MY ass he was putting his **** in! This is what you're failing to see.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

I guess if I started batting for the other team, i would be in denial as well. This guy is going to have to cross the Grand Canyon to get to acceptance.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

People here actually DO understand. What they understand is that YOU don't understand the socially accepted definition of cheating. It is having a sexual or emotional relationship with someone other than your spouse. 

This is a betrayal of your commitment to your wife. Gender doesn't matter. Saying it's all on you doesn't matter. You are having sexual relations with someone else and that is cheating. Period.

You can declare all you want that you say it isn't cheating, but that won't change what the rest of the civilized world believes.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

You're a cheater so deal with that first. Your sexual orientation is something you need to explore on your own. 

BTW How tall are you and whats your favorite source of animal flesh, goats or rabbits?


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