# Bipolar Wife Nightmare



## StillStanding01 (Sep 7, 2011)

I've been married for seven years to my bipolar wife. We have a 6 year old daughter together. She regularly takes meds and she see's her doctor regularly. It seems like over the last 3 years she has been in a constant manic state. The doctors adjusted her meds and admitted her into hospitals a number of times to try to help her get back in control of herself. About 2 years ago she called up one of her ex boyfriends and met him for an affair. After I found out instead of leaving her I tried to help her. She severed the relationship with him and we worked on us. Things went well for a while until she began emptying out our bank account on a regular basis and putting us in the negative and she wouldn't talk to me about it. About a month ago she told me I was controlling her by asking her to speak with me before making large purchases and so she left me and the kids. She said she just needed time to think, but immediately moved into an apartment. Soon after this I found out that she had been taking a pain killer called lorosets for about a year. She was taking as many as 20 a day and was spending around $200.00 a day on them. I was devastated. She drove with my children while on this. She had a whole secret life. Still I tried to help her. I tried to help her get into rehab, and we where going to go to counselling. Today as I was talking to her she admitted to getting into a relationship with a new man. I have tried. I have done everything thing that I can do. I feel broken, but I think that I have to give up on her. I don't want to, but my kids need me. I feel like I'm abandoning her, but I don't have a choice anymore.


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

Sorry you're going through this, I'm sure its really tough. 

Right now, you need to focus on your kids and yourself. Take care of them and you. You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. Its tough to see someone you love and care about destroy themselves. If you're not in counseling for yourself, I would suggest you doing that and it might be a good idea to get your kids in some counseling as well.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Wiw bpd cheating and a drug habit

Honestly you can't help you're wife because she is willing choosing to do these things 

You can help you Kids by keeping the mom away from them. Someone like her should never be allowed around them unsupervised 

Cut off her money cut her out of your lives. She will only hurt and ruin your children
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## grizabella (May 8, 2011)

There is no cure for BPD, but it can be managed if she chooses. Taking her meds is crutial. What happens with this disorder is between swings people feel better and stop their meds. Pretty soon they are either in a depressive state or a manic one. She probably is taking the pain pill instead of the ones for BPD.

Please heed that warning, no unsupervised visits with the kids. She probably won't mean to but she may put them in harms way.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

My thoughts are with you friend. I hope your hapiness comes soon. You've done everything you can.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

LORCET: Hillbilly heroin opiate addiction in conjunction with manic depression. Actually she's got a fairly high risk of liver failure snorting that much Acetaminophen Hydrocodone. Her 'new man' is probably a drug pipeline. Lord only knows what she does for him to secure that much of it.


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

Shaggy said:


> Wiw bpd cheating and a drug habit
> 
> Honestly you can't help you're wife because she is willing choosing to do these things
> 
> ...


:iagree: You really need to look out for your child right now. She does not sound stable and your child will be the one to pay if this continues.


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## ren (Aug 1, 2011)

I can't imagine how horrible you must feel right now, you keep trying and she keeps dragging your relationship down. I think you need to look up and let go. She isn't just sinking into the abyss, she is swimming and no one can stop her. She is taking you and your children to the bottom with her. The best thing you can do is tell her she can turn around as you wave goodbye. She either follows you and your children towards a better life or you build that better life without her in it.


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## Breath1Day (Sep 8, 2011)

Our situations have some similarity. I am the bipolar and my husband is the sane one. I have never took any types of medication for my disorder but I do my best to recognize and correct my behavior. I can understand your dilemma you want to help her control herself because you love her but there has to be a point where you put yourself first. When my husband and I began our relationship it was great; however, some years later I began losing my thick skin, and everything got to me, my emotions were on a roller coaster, and I wanted help. The best thing my husband did for me was to teach me to recognize why I was getting so emotional on matters of non-importance, and how to approach others to solve or understand the problem with the goal being acceptance. I am better because of his patience with me but I find myself in an unhappy state of mind. I explain this to you because I wanted the help to change. In your situation it seems as if your wife does not want your help and that is sad because she has children who love her and a husband who is willing to help. A person can only change when they want and recognize a reason for change. Unfortunately she has yet to come to this realization. However, YOU have come to the realization that no matter what you do for her she will not take your help. This realization should allow you to move forward with you life and your wonderful children who need you more than you will ever understand. For once put yourself first and decide what is most important the relationship with your wife or the relationship with your wonderful children (no matter their age). Be strong and overtime the strength will turn into determination.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Manics love being manic. Manic is ****ing awesome. It's like being God.


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

Runs like Dog said:


> Manics love being manic. Manic is ****ing awesome. It's like being God.


More importantly, manics love being manic more than they'll probably ever love you. Or their kids.

She's making a choice. 

Now you have to.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Oh I wouldn't say that. When I was buzzing around it was happy crazy time. I liked to bring everyone into the crazy tent and be all halo crazy together. Let's all buy stuff! Let's go to a diner and get in a fight! Let's smash things in the street together! Let's have sex for outside in the park! It'll be a party! 

In truth we buzzers don't NOT love others. We love everything. We don't differentiate. But it's a sickness. Once we get better we can be normal enough.


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

Very true, there is indeed a WHOLE lot of love to go around when you're manic. Crazy-happy-fun love, for sure! Magical-rosy-perfect-what-could-go-wrong-with-a-plan-like-this love....

But, I firmly believe that treatment for bipolar disorder should include an addictions component. I think that in a lot of cases, it's not until there's a "rock bottom" of some sort, that people will get treatment for something that feels as good as mania does. Why would they right? I mean, you can do everything, everybody loves you and you need no sleep. It's the American dream!  

I think it's about as common to see someone give up mania purely for the love of someone else as it is to see someone give up crack purely for that kind of love.


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## arack (Aug 23, 2011)

You are in a tough situation. I would work on keeping yourself and your kids together. Addiction and bipolar issues are very tough to defeat. Good luck and remember that you are the key to your own recovery from this difficult situation.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Just wait till they crash and dare the cops to shoot them. I've done that. Look here's the thing - if people aren't going to be helped there's a few things that will happen:

Divorce & homelessness
Arrest & jail
Institutionalization, 5150, 30 day, etc. 
Death usually by some kind of suicide or accidental OD. Non suicide deaths are by violence or traffic accidents

So....those are your options sans treatment for both mental illness and opiate addiction.


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