# My father died last night and our 2nd house



## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

Last week my father (87 years old) decided that he no longer wanted to live and refused all medical treatment. He made the right choice in my opinion. On Tuesday, Jan. 31st my WS and I visited him in the hospital and had a good visit with him. My WS always loved my father. My father talked about my tour in Iraq and how he was thankful that I made it back safely. We talked about other things and it was the last time my WS and I would ever have a conversation with my father. For over 20 years my WS and I went on vacation with my parents to Williamsburg, VA and we always had a great time. We could not go in 2008 as I was deployed. 2007 was the last year we went with my parents.

Friday we signed a contract for a second house. As I am giving R a try we need to buy another house near where I work so we can be together. Right now I live apart from my family during the week.

Saturday I triggered and went off on my WS. We managed to get things back on track and went to see my mother and two older brothers to discuss my mother's finances, home, etc. After this meeting we all went to see my dad. He was very weak but still with us. He could only look at us and could no longer speak.

Sunday my WS and I went again to my mother's home and all my brothers and my sister was there. We all discussed the funeral, finances, etc. We then went to dinner and then to see my father. My mother, two older brothers, older sister, my younger brother, myself and my WS were all in the room with my father. He was unresponsive. We watched the Superbowl. The nursing home was one where I had served as a chaplain years ago and it brought back so many memories of sitting with dying residents. During half-time I noticed a big change in my father and I told the family that he will not be with us much longer. Hell, I have been with over a hundred dying folks and knew. My WS went over and held his hand as my mother and sister held his other hand. My brothers and I gathered around the bed and my dad took his last breath as Madonna sang in the background. My dad hated Madonna and my brother jokingly stated that Madonna killed him. 

This morning I am grieving the loss of my father in addition to dealing with the pain of what my WS has done. Last night my WS held me as I fell asleep. I decided to go to work today so I was up at 4 A.M. and my WS got up, made me breakfast. I told her that I will be taking 3 days off at the end of the week. 

As I drove to work this morning I had to pass the hotels, the OM's house, etc and all I could do was say, F*** you (my wife's name), over and over again.

At least my father's suffering is over and he died peacefully with my mother and all his kids there. I was glad my WS was there as well.


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## calif_hope (Feb 25, 2011)

Tough day, take care of yourself, remember deep breaths help. Remember to eat and no booze / get sleep.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

My heart goes out to you and yours for the loss of your father. The way he passed on, surrounded by his loved ones, was a testament of who he was a man.


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## Lone Star (Feb 2, 2012)

I am so sorry your father passed away. Please try to take care of yourself.


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## NotLikeYou (Aug 30, 2011)

Thorburn- I'm very sorry for your loss.


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## mahike (Aug 16, 2011)

I am sorry for your loss and your pain. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers


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## Beowulf (Dec 7, 2011)

Sincere condolences Thorburn.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I am sorry for your loss, Thor. Kindest thoughts to you and your family.


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## frustrated3 (Jan 30, 2012)

i'm sorry your going threw this


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## spudster (Jan 11, 2012)

So sorry Thorburn for your loss. Good thoughts and luvin' vibes eminating from me to you now.

Take those three days off and head to the woods. You are spending way too much time around your wife. Go alone. Tell your wife you are going to the wilderness to talk to God and mourn your father. Get somewhere where the wind can clear your head. Fast for a couple days. That's Biblical you know, and it works to clear the muck out of your cranium. I do it often, and it is amazing the clarity of thought it brings you. 

Peace.


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## Why Not Be Happy? (Apr 16, 2010)

Sorry for your loss! Your wife sounds like she is trying-----I'm sure she is grieving too. Try to be at peace.


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## ashamed74 (Jan 30, 2012)

I'm very sorry for your unfortunate news. May god bless his soul.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

I'm so sorry for your loss. Is there anything we can do? Want to tell us about your father?


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