# To stay or not too???



## jenner78 (Jul 28, 2011)

I recently discovered my husband and friend of three yrs are texting and talking to each other all the time. They even say I love you as they sign off. We have been friends with this family for 3 yrs. Got along very well the four of us. Now she is going through a divorce and seems to be leaching onto my husband. I am so angry  because I have suspected this for awhile and both kept telling me they are just friends, like brother and sister, nothing would happen!! Lied to for months I am now trying to sort though it all. I lost my best female friend and I am trying to keep my husband from talking to her. He said its over he will not talk to her again. Should I be walking away or trying to rekindle our marriage. We have 4 beautiful children together also. :scratchhead:


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## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore (Apr 7, 2011)

I‘ve been in your shoes before. They both even swore nothing ever happened and how I was overreacting. Three years later upon discovery of my ex-husband’s second affair, was when I learned the truth of what really happened between he and that “really” good friend of mine.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

They are saying ILY? Yes, my dear, they are having an affair.

He's told you it's over? How do you know? Did he tell her in front of you ti's over? He needs to end ALL contact with her today. Block her #s, email, IMs, Facebook, everything.


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## Lily_B (Jul 28, 2011)

Its your decision and a difficult one to make. He needs to prove to you that he has ended ALL contact, then you need to re-evaluate your relationship and YOUR life, think of yourself first. This is not something we do easily (I am going through that tough decision as we speak). However, do what's right for you. Good luck.


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## lovegreen (Mar 3, 2011)

I would tell him to gtfo. That is some bogus stuff your husband and bf did to you...Really if he would sleep with bf he is a D.O.G. and she never was your friend if she fell in love w/ her bf husband. Yeah would never be able to trust him w/ any female. Is that the life you want, worrying when, not if it happens again. Hell have decency to have an affair with a stranger...not someone in your social circle...wow if my dh had emotional or sexual relationship w/ anyone I knew...ohhh...hmmm.


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## sammy3 (Jun 5, 2011)

I am the same situation as you are now,and the same steps as Lily_B, and you know what ? It is so very likely he is being less than honest with you. Funny... the warning sign are always there, we just don't see them !

~sammy


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## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

I don't think we know enough from your post to know if _you _even fully know what's going on here. Obviously at least an EA; was it a PA also? 

Only you know if re-kindling the marriage has any hope...but with four kids involved, I'd sure hope you give it a chance if he is really willing, remorseful, and of course if you want to even a little. Either way, time to take charge and draw very firm lines about how this is going to be moving forward.

Him saying he won't talk to her again vs. _showing and demonstrating_ to you are two different things. Time to take charge, he goes full NC, total transparency to his email, cell, computer, chat, facebook, etc., and (assuming you want to work at R) you both get into CM right away to figure out what he felt he was missing that made him get involved with this woman.

Did this woman's marriage end _because_ of her involvement with your H? Assuming you know the OW's H, maybe a chat with him about all of this is in order? He may have more info for you...


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> They are saying ILY? Yes, my dear, they are having an affair.
> 
> He's told you it's over? How do you know? Did he tell her in front of you ti's over? He needs to end ALL contact with her today. Block her #s, email, IMs, Facebook, everything.


:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:


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