# Very hateful MIL



## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Now I have known this woman for a few years and what I can't seem to understand is WHY she feels the need to GUILT trip everyone. She left some rather rude messages to my hubby just now stating that if he didn't call his grandmother (who is 85 btw) and tell her that she said thanks for letting her die.. she would never speak to him again. She and his brother called this morning crying as usual about something they needed money for. 

I understand my hubby didn't want to answer the phone but i really didn't want her calling repeatedly AGAIN. I simply don't answer because i tend to go off on her when she acts this way and conflict is the last thing i need right now. Well that sort of conflict anyway. What really irks me is she and his brother seem to think we have money coming out are rear ends so when he tells her he doesn't have any to give she lays a big ole guilt trip on him and accusing him of being greedy. I mean come on... we were living off JUST his unemployment for about a month now.. that was only 165 a week. Now part of that has to go for gas.. and part to the utilities and the rest to food.. that doesn't give us much to work with.. especially with a family of four and another on the way. I wish she and his brother would open up their eyes and realize just how self centered and cruel they are being. That and I wish my hubby would stop trying to avoid them and actually TELL them HOW their behavior makes him feel. I keep trying to get him to but he never does, it's like he chickens out every time. Like he would rather run from it but the thing is... running from it gets him nowhere because he has to deal with it anyway. 

If they aren't harassing him for money they are harassing his grandmother and I know damn well a message like that will give that poor woman a heart attack and will most likely end up killing her. She has it hard enough as it is too.. she barely makes 100 a week. I feel like calling them back and just giving them both a piece of my mind but I'm not sure if i should or not. I'm just fed up with this nonsense. I guess this is a bit of a rant and a bit of me asking if i should call back or just let my hubby call his mother back.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Oh, honey, what a mess!

First off, yeah, just let your husband deal with her. It's his issue, really.

Secondly, I think it's important to remember that some of these older women never had good models of how to interact in a healthy way -- so they lash out, they use guilt, they use all kinds of things that do not lead to healthy communication, but they never really learned better -- and are they likely to now? Probably not.

Hubby's problem. Stay out of it


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Thanks lamaga.. and turns out I didn't even have to mention it lol. They called back again and he completely flipped on them. Suprised me considering he is normally laid back but apparently they must have said something to push him that far. Or he probably just got fed up with it.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Hooray! I'm so glad


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