# Not sure if this is nothing or something??



## Baileym (Dec 9, 2009)

I need some serious help here. Whether or not my husband is having an affair I have no clue.. I need to find out the truth though and it seems the only way I would be able to do this is for him to admit it.

I have never TRULY worried about him cheating on me before. The main problems that we have had is his internet porn. It has always driven me nuts but after time I just learned to accept it and I even stopped checking the history which at this point wouldn't matter because a while back he figured out how to use "private browsing". Now I wish I knew how to remove that from firefox. Not even because of the porn but because I would like to see if he has any email accounts etc that I don't know about.

Here is why I think something is going on. This morning I was taking laundry out of the dryer and out comes an empty condom wrapper. I went upstairs to go grab another load of laundry and didn't say a word, I went to his nightstand and looked in the drawer and saw that there were only five condoms left out of a 12 pack. I know we have used a few but not that many. He was leaving for work soon so I almost decided to not say anything but I knew it would only drive me insane all day if I didn't. I picked up the wrapper off the table and asked him why this was in the laundry and his response was that he had no clue, I then asked him why there were only five out of twelve condoms left and he said sometimes he uses them when he takes care of business himself. Ok, fine.

He also had no explanation of that particular condom. He said maybe the wrapper was on the floor and it got stuck to something and ended up in the laundry. We haven't had sex in over a week and the last time we did we didn't use a condom.

He also added that those condoms were the ones that we liked and he couldn't see why he would use one of those ones for "himself". 

I stayed calm and quiet and he kept on insisting that I was accusing him of something he didn't do and that he didn't cheat on me.. Has never and would never, but this is just too weird to explain. It had to have come out of one of his pockets of his work shirts. There were also a ton of other papers that came out of the dryer (I didn't gr through any pockets or anything before I threw the clothes in the washer)so it seems to me that the wrapper would have been mixed in with all those papers.

He really only seems to be worried about me "picking a fight" with him when he gets home from work and just keeps insisting that he did nothing wrong and has no idea where the wrapper came from.

Now I don't know what to do? I obviously can't MAKE him tell me and I am afraid that if I push too hard for information it will just make him better at hiding things and the damage it would do if he were innocent.

I am trying to wrack my brain to think of any times he was not here and not at work... I handle the finances and his hours match up with his paycheck. Other than working is always home and the kids and I are always home too since we only have one car there is not much time that in unaccounted for..

Are there any techniques I can use to get him to be honest with me?


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## The 13th_Floor (Mar 7, 2011)

The first thing that came to mind before reading the entire story is he could have used the condom for himself. Things do sound a tad bit strange, but you haven't given enough background on your marriage to make an assumption worth checking into. How's your marriage, are both of you happy? Sex life good? Those are the things I would consider and THEN start gathering evidence more seriously.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Baileym (Dec 9, 2009)

Our marriage is good, I am happy, he appears to be happy as well. We have three kids so needless to say we are always busy though we always have alone time in the evenings.

I guess our sex life could be better, we have an infant so it isn't always easy, I feel like lately I am the one that makes more of an effort. Though for a couple of years now I feel like he doesn't make much of an effort. He says he feels like I rejected him a lot in the past. I don't feel like I did although I could be wrong, after all I have spent pretty much my entire 20's pregnant and one of our children passed away a few years ago and for a long time I wasn't myself and I know that.

The thing is that I can't see my husband cheating on me but how that wrapper would end up in the dryer with a bunch of other papers I can't even imagine. Also the fact that he said he doesn't remember using that certain one really gets me.


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## Babyheart (Feb 9, 2011)

Sounds a bit hinky, but nothing solid. Start checking pockets when you do the laundry. Don't ask him too much, just keep a quiet eye on things.

And start initiating a LOT of sex with him.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I cant remember ever using a condom by myself, except possibly from my first package, and I wanted to make sure I knew how to use them. But I dislike them in general, so I may be the odd one. Of course, I also can't understand why you'd put the wrapper in your pocket either...

You may want to look into a key logger for your computer. And a review of cell phone records wouldn't hurt (texts and calls). The key logger may be more "mistrusting" than a quick glance through the cell records.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Well to be fair he tried approximately less than zero to hide it from you.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I have to admit I didn't finish reading you post. Once I read the first sentence I knew what you needed.
So #1 you are here b/c your gut is telling somethings up, your gut is always right. It's protection that our bodies have that is natruel and it keeps us from getting us in unsafe places. So listen to it.

#2 He will never admit it and no one can see their spouses as cheaters, its that blind trust that gets us in trouple in the 1st place. No one walkes around telling them selves that he/she is a cheater and I love him/her. Generaly we believe people are good and especial the one's we marry.

Right now quitely gather your evidence and keep a writen journal. Check phone logs, place VAR in his car, and install keyloggers and GPS. If you have the dough save your self some work and hire a PI.

Remember, how many times has your gut prevented you from going down that dark path, or prevented your from talking to that stranger? It is important now then ever to listen to it and except the fact that your man is human and just like any one, can sir come to demptation.

Another thing to keep in mind , is it's the one we least expect!


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