# Thoughts on wife telling me to sell dream car



## Timgo (Feb 27, 2018)

Hi all, ive been married for 5 years, me and my wife had premarital plans for the future, hers was to have a kid and go back to school, both big financial responsibilitys. The only financial goal i discussed with her prior to marriage was that i wanted a very specific car that i have wanted all my life. Now she has her kid and her schooling is complete and i have my car. Ever since i got it, she has wanted me to sell it. It is no financial burden. What would any of you men do, and women, would you agree with my wife?


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## Keke24 (Sep 2, 2016)

What are her reasons for wanting you to sell the car?


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

Hola, in a word, no, I don't agree with your wife, especially given that you guys discussed and agreed to this before marriage. Are you guys financially stable and able to afford your child's expenses, her schooling and the car? Or, are you guys tapped? If it's the latter, then the car is the easiest expense to remove. I think it's worth sitting down and discussing with her. But, if you guys are in a good financial situation, and are able to afford the car and still put food on the table and a roof over your heads, then I wouldn't get rid of the car.


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## Rhubarb (Dec 1, 2017)

So what's the car?


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## Timgo (Feb 27, 2018)

Its a 2015 dodge viper, yes we are still financially sound with everything, she has come up with ideah of all our resources and time and energy need to go towards our son.


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## Timgo (Feb 27, 2018)

I NEVER ask for anything, this is all i want, nothing else. On the flip side she constantly talks about now how much she wants a $10k ring, she always talked about a $500 kitchen aid blender, i got her one, She is now saying she wants an expensive audi AFTER THE FACT THAT SHE IS BEGGING ME TO SELL MY completly affordable car


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Timgo said:


> Hi all, ive been married for 5 years, me and my wife had premarital plans for the future, hers was to have a kid and go back to school, both big financial responsibilitys. The only financial goal i discussed with her prior to marriage was that i wanted a very specific car that i have wanted all my life. Now she has her kid and her schooling is complete and i have my car. Ever since i got it, she has wanted me to sell it. It is no financial burden. What would any of you men do, and women, would you agree with my wife?


It is no financial burden? Does that mean it is paid off? 

If it truly is no financial burden, why would she want you to sell it? 

But most importantly, now that the deed is done, what do you stand to lose if you sell it? Car values plummet the minute you drive them off the lot, so I'm guessing if you were to sell it, even if you hadn't had it long and you have taken great care of it, that you would take a substantial loss. So it's unlikely that even if there is a financial concern here, that selling the car probably won't fix that. 

If you're still making payments and she wants to be free of that, show her that the horse is already out of the barn on this one, and that the amount of "relief" she may feel won't be as big as she's anticipating. Does she really want to reneg on a deal, a deal which isn't hurting anyone, just for what may turn out to be a fairly minor gain? 

You're new in your marriage. Still learning how to pick your battles. She needs to understand the full breadth of both monetary and good will in the relationship calculations here.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Timgo said:


> Its a 2015 dodge viper, yes we are still financially sound with everything, *she has come up with ideah of all our resources and time and energy need to go towards our son.*





Timgo said:


> I NEVER ask for anything, this is all i want, nothing else. On the flip side she constantly talks about now how much *she wants a $10k ring*, she always talked about a $500 kitchen aid blender, i got her one, She is now saying she wants an expensive audi AFTER THE FACT THAT SHE IS BEGGING ME TO SELL MY completly affordable car


Hmmm.... 
does not compute.


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## Keke24 (Sep 2, 2016)

Timgo said:


> I NEVER ask for anything, this is all i want, nothing else. On the flip side she constantly talks about now how much she wants a $10k ring, she always talked about a $500 kitchen aid blender, i got her one, She is now saying she wants an expensive audi AFTER THE FACT THAT SHE IS BEGGING ME TO SELL MY completly affordable car


OP I really do not mean any disrespect, I just want to tell you how this appears from an outside perspective. 

My immediate question after reading your posts was why do you sound like a child whose parent is threatening to take their favourite toy away? 

What happens if she asks you to get rid of the car and you simply say "No" and that you would appreciate if she did not bring it up again?

Do you typically acquiesce to your wife's wishes to avoid conflict?


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

Timgo said:


> Its a 2015 dodge viper, yes we are still financially sound with everything, she has come up with ideah of all our resources and time and energy need to go towards our son.


keep the car. unless your son is going without basic things he needs, like clothes and food and proper medical care, then your car is doing nothing but helping you be a better father by keeping you happy. 

my version of your car is my musical instruments. im not selling them for some dumb notion that my daughter needs to be spoiled and i need to go without. 

just dumb.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Keep the car, ditch the wife.


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## Timgo (Feb 27, 2018)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> Timgo said:
> 
> 
> > Its a 2015 dodge viper, yes we are still financially sound with everything, *she has come up with ideah of all our resources and time and energy need to go towards our son.*
> ...


 this is exactly what im dealing with


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## Txquail (Feb 21, 2018)

If the car is paid off, then Id agree, keep it.

If you have a payment on it, it could be impacting your finances in a harmful way and she would be correct in wanting you to sell it.

Id sell my possessions to make sure my wife and kids are safe and fed. A car can be destroyed tomorrow by another driver who hits you. Is a car really worth it?

Affordable is a car you paid cash for. If you have a home lan, unpaid credit card balances, other loans, then that car is not affordable. 

If you are living paycheck to paycheck, ghe car isnt affordable.

Theres a huge difference in a blender and a car.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

My vote is for keep the car, learn to establish that YOU COUNT in the marriage as well. It's not all about her wants and needs, and how she thinks things should go.

My opinion is when a woman is allowed to start dominating the relationship, the relationship usually goes south. Your feelings, your desires should count just as much as hers. 

The excuses for you selling the car that you provided pretty much sounded like her opinion is this: YOU are not valued. You are a paycheck and security blanket.

How are the other aspects of your relationship? Does she pick every restaurant you go to? Do you vacation where she wants exclusively? Do you live in a home and neighborhood that she picked out with little input from you? Do you basically have to sweat over every decision you make?

Sounds to me like your wife's jeans are far too big. Do you always let her wear the pants?

Curious.......
This stuff starts off small and snowballs.


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## Timgo (Feb 27, 2018)

Keke24 said:


> Timgo said:
> 
> 
> > I NEVER ask for anything, this is all i want, nothing else. On the flip side she constantly talks about now how much she wants a $10k ring, she always talked about a $500 kitchen aid blender, i got her one, She is now saying she wants an expensive audi AFTER THE FACT THAT SHE IS BEGGING ME TO SELL MY completly affordable car
> ...


 Everyone sounds like this when their mate isnt thinking logically


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## StarFires (Feb 27, 2018)

I don't know that anyone's dream car was ever a sedan or minivan or similar. My guess is your dream car, like most men's dream car, is a two-seater something or similar that gives the impression you are either single or in a midlife crisis. Since I doubt you are in a midlife crisis, my bet is that the car gives off the wrong signal for a married family man.

She wants her husband to herself, and she wants her husband to live up to and portray the commitment he made. She doesn't want her husband preferring to drive around in a prestigious chick magnet wishing he never had to grow up. She wants her husband to grow up.

Keep the car, or act like the life you are living instead of wanting to look like you live a different one.


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## Magnesium (Jun 19, 2017)

Tell her no and that you will not discuss it again. Then ignore her...as in, do not respond in any way, shape or form to her mentions of it again. Change the subject, walk out of the room, hang up the phone, etc. And do the same whenever she mentions her desire for a ring, a new car, or anything else. 

Based on what you have written, she sounds self-absorbed and controlling. Is that how you see her? Are there other examples of this?


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## Keke24 (Sep 2, 2016)

Timgo said:


> Everyone sounds like this when their mate isnt thinking logically


I wouldn't be so sure OP. I can get pretty illogical and borderline childish but by now I know my partner will not be amused and I will be met with stoicism. A **** test like this would get me nowhere.

Do you mind responding to the questions:


What happens if she asks you to get rid of the car and you simply say "No" and that you would appreciate if she did not bring it up again?

Do you typically acquiesce to your wife's wishes to avoid conflict?


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

How much is both your relative incomes? 50/50? 60/40 you? I assume you make at least some of the household income. You need to assert yourself. This seems like a big **** test to me. You’re about to set a precedent. You’re about to establish the tone for your entire marriage. Do your wants matter?


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

You had an agreement, and you honored your side. She wants to renege on her side. Say no, and stick to it.


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## sa58 (Feb 26, 2018)

My wife has everything she wanted plus some.

I got a Harley Davidson. (MY DREAM BIKE)

I will get her anything else she wants or needs.

She will have to pry the handle bars from my cold dead hands.

As a husband and father you have and will give your family/wife love and everything else they need.

There is nothing wrong with you having one thing of your own.

If it is not causing any burden on your family keep it!


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Timgo said:


> I NEVER ask for anything, this is all i want, nothing else. On the flip side she constantly talks about now how much she wants a $10k ring, she always talked about a $500 kitchen aid blender, i got her one, She is now saying she wants an expensive audi AFTER THE FACT THAT SHE IS BEGGING ME TO SELL MY completly affordable car


You are obviously quite upset and angry over your wife's request. We don't have much information to go on, other than she wants all financial resources to go towards your son. However, you claim she also wants an Audi. That information is contradictory. Maybe you feel she wants it all, while leaving you empty handed? I'm just spit balling here, but that's what I'm getting from what you are posting.

Why do you think she REALLY wants you to dump the car? I'm not buying the story that it's about your son. What do you think is going on here? And from what you are posting, it sounds like this is about far more than you just wanting a car. In fact, it sounds like it's a control thing.


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## Noble1 (Oct 25, 2013)

Sounds like there is a potential power struggle here.

If I read it correctly, you and your wife spoke about the 'big' things you wanted and she got hers (education - the child is both of yours) and you got yours.

Now, she wants you to get rid of yours in order to provide better for the "family", yet she still have larger wants (ring/kitchen stuff) too.

If what you say is correct and the car is not draining you financially or even putting stress on things....keep the car and make sure your wife knows how unfair she is being.

Easy to say and hard to do I know.

Good luck.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

StarFires said:


> I don't know that anyone's dream car was ever a sedan or minivan or similar. My guess is your dream car, like most men's dream car, is a two-seater something or similar that gives the impression you are either single or in a midlife crisis. Since I doubt you are in a midlife crisis, my bet is that the car gives off the wrong signal for a married family man.
> 
> She wants her husband to herself, and she wants her husband to live up to and portray the commitment he made. She doesn't want her husband preferring to drive around in a prestigious chick magnet wishing he never had to grow up. She wants her husband to grow up.
> 
> Keep the car, or act like the life you are living instead of wanting to look like you live a different one.


You are waaaaay overreaching here. Assuming far too much. Keep the commitment HE made? He hasn't broken any commitment from where I stand. He was upfront about the car from the get-go.What about the commitment SHE made about agreeing to the car? He needs to grow up? Lol if he can afford that type of car, he IS a grown up.

OP, keep the car!!!! I agree this is a **** test. And she sounds like an entitled princess.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

What’s really confusing is how a Dodge could be anyone’s dream car! #shotsfired 


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

OK there is something rotten in the state of Denmark. I just won't stand for bad math. The very affordable Dodge viper new in 2015, cost roughly 2x anything in the Audi 2018 lineup. The Dodge Viper review at Kelly says that it is loud and uncomfortable and somewhat risky to drive. Plenty of reasons she doesn't like his Dream Machine. And BTW it's not her son, it's your son. That is the plural your.

I'm not going to go into the power struggle dynamic. I'm not going to go into the princess of diamonds. If you say you can afford this trinket, I believe ya. Garage it and baby it all you want. Drive it sanely, or show it, whatever you want. What your son needs is not 24/7 engagement. What he needs is a good example of a good man. Better sharpen up your communications skills. Better be ready to answer every why and how question that little tyke is going to ask you. Let me tell you, in 10 ish years or so, when you buy him his first pocket knife, you are going to shake your head and wonder why you thought a car could be important.


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

Keke24 said:


> What happens if she asks you to get rid of the car and you simply say "No" and that you would appreciate if she did not bring it up again?
> 
> Do you typically acquiesce to your wife's wishes to avoid conflict?





As'laDain said:


> my version of your car is my musical instruments. im not selling them for some dumb notion that my daughter needs to be spoiled and i need to go without.
> 
> just dumb.



Timgo my man, take this to heart and never forget it. Puzzy whipped is puzzy shared, to puzzy gone. Its impossible for a woman to lose respect for you and still love you. And no way ensures they lose respect more than to pander to their every whim.


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## Timgo (Feb 27, 2018)

Keke24 said:


> Timgo said:
> 
> 
> > Everyone sounds like this when their mate isnt thinking logically
> ...


 i dont quite understand what youre asking


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## Magnesium (Jun 19, 2017)

Timgo said:


> i dont quite understand what youre asking


She's asking: What sort of response do you expect your wife to give you if you simply told her, the next time she asked/demanded that you give up your car, "No, and do not ever bring it up again."

And: Do you typically give in to your wife's demands? Do you typically give her her way, even if it's not couched as a demand?


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Timgo said:


> i dont quite understand what youre asking


Then familiarise yourself with the concept... http://talkaboutmarriage.com/mens-clubhouse/18347-fitness-tests.html


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

Learn to say "no" to your wife and mean it.


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## Townes (Jan 31, 2018)

I would do anything and everything to shut down the dynamic of your wife becoming your wife/mommy. That causes a lot of problems in relationships. She'll respect you more in the long run if you stand your ground. Otherwise she's going to think, hmm, if I can push him around other people can too. Not a very attractive trait in a man. If you allow yourself to be bullied on this you're gonna lose the battle and the war.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Timgo said:


> i dont quite understand what youre asking


One question you were asked, quite specifically, is what do you think would happen if you just said "NO!" to your wife's request to get rid of the car. Another question asked if you generally give into your wife's demands.

What the hell is so difficult to understand here?


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

My first observation is the child is for both of you. The fact you call your son a big item for her is troubling, to say the least.

You never answered the question about whether or not this dream car is paid in full or if you have a loan on it. Do you owe any money on this dream car?

Do you owe any money for your wife's education, such as student loads?

Do you own a family sedan besides this dream car? If so, what is it?

Personally I think the answers to these questions are important before people can offer valid answers.

Please answer some of the questions posed, rather than simply claim you don't understand the questions.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

First I'd say think about what matters to you. When you were married the car was very important. Is it still important, or is it just the memory that it was once important? If it IS still important then if there is no financial burden you should keep it.

If you can afford it, but there is significant costs, then you have to trade off those costs against what other things you could do with the money. 

One complicating issue is that a car is not really a trade for children. A child should be for both of you, and if not, then the car is far from the largest problem in your life. The car is just for you. (which may be OK)

My wife and I have always had a "fun budget" that each of us can spend on things we personally enjoy (like cars beyond a reliably commute car). That way we each get a chance to have the toys we want.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

OP says they are financially sound. It's just that SHE has unilaterally decided all financial resources should be for the child. Except for expensive kitchen items and a 10k ring and particular vehicle she wants, of course.

This is a big problem. Like many others have said, just tell her no. And have it be the end of the discussion.

She knew this was a financial goal of yours before she married you. This is not a surprise to her. 

I think it's extremely rude she wants you to sell it.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

The trouble here is that you have to ask in the first place. This is a no brainer. That she wants to put your child before everything is crazy. Children grow up fast and leave. You are your wife’s most important thing in life as she is to you.

Go to amazon and download the MARRIED MAN SEX
LIFE PRIMER. You seem well on the way to being neutered by your wife and turned into a nice guy if you aren’t already. The kind of guy that bends over backward for his wife and ends up losing her because he was to “nice!”


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

Well, one person's financially sound may not sound the same as another's sound may sound.

To me a debt means unsound, for instance. On either a student loan or a car. 

I do wonder if the wife is concerned about safety in the dream car, and they don't have another car, for instance. The lack of any mention about something like this seems odd to me.

When I had friends who had dream cars those cars were in addition to their normal family cars. So those cars were considered a luxury item on par with a vacation or, for instance, a diamond.

I must admit I find it hard to consider investing in the education of either spouse to be a luxury.


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## Rick Blaine (Mar 27, 2017)

Timgo,

Time to get your Brad Paisley on.


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

StarFires said:


> I don't know that anyone's dream car was ever a sedan or minivan or similar. My guess is your dream car, like most men's dream car, is a two-seater something or similar that gives the impression you are either single or in a midlife crisis. Since I doubt you are in a midlife crisis, my bet is that the car gives off the wrong signal for a married family man.
> 
> She wants her husband to herself, and she wants her husband to live up to and portray the commitment he made. She doesn't want her husband preferring to drive around in a prestigious chick magnet wishing he never had to grow up. She wants her husband to grow up.
> 
> Keep the car, or act like the life you are living instead of wanting to look like you live a different one.


projecting much?


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

1. Is the car paid for?

2. Would the ring be paid for with cash or with a loan?

3. If the car isn't paid for, do the payments stress your finances?

4. Can you afford the car and the ring? (paid for in full, not financed)


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

2018 Harley Davidson Fatboy 114 - not for sale

2006 Harley Davidson Heritage Softtail Classic - selling to youngest son and will always retain right of first refusal - not for sale.

2001 C5 Corvette in Torch Red- selling to middle son and will always retain right of first refusal - not for sale.

Next toy is a C7 Z06. 

My wife already knows, the toys are not for sale, not negotiable. Period! There again, she enjoys them as much as I do and has her own. 

Yes, a 2015 Viper is a dream car. They retain their value pretty well, considering how cars lose their value. It's not like it's a POS Honda accord. This is a world class supercar. 

You are on your way to becoming a doormat if you don't learn to say, NO! 

Do you let her walk all over you frequently?


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

StarFires said:


> I don't know that anyone's dream car was ever a sedan or minivan or similar. My guess is your dream car, like most men's dream car, is a two-seater something or similar that gives the impression you are either single or in a midlife crisis. Since I doubt you are in a midlife crisis, my bet is that the car gives off the wrong signal for a married family man.
> 
> She wants her husband to herself, and she wants her husband to live up to and portray the commitment he made. She doesn't want her husband preferring to drive around in a prestigious chick magnet wishing he never had to grow up. She wants her husband to grow up.
> 
> Keep the car, or act like the life you are living instead of wanting to look like you live a different one.


Project much?

Or conversely, he can sell the car and buy her the 10k ring and exspensive Audi (don't take much for an Audi to get exspensive) and become a doormat so she can lose respect for him.

She sounds like another entitled princess.
Barf!


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

Araucaria said:


> 1. Is the car paid for?
> 
> 2. Would the ring be paid for with cash or with a loan?
> 
> ...


Um, no ring. Sounds to me like she demands and he forks over. Good way to find himself as a doormat.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Livvie said:


> OP says *they are financially soun*d. It's just that SHE has unilaterally decided all financial resources should be for the child. Except for expensive kitchen items and a 10k ring and particular vehicle she wants, of course.
> 
> This is a big problem. Like many others have said, just tell her no. And have it be the end of the discussion.
> 
> ...


I looked at this the same way at first. Given that this was prenegotiated, I could see no reason not to back OP.

However....


1. What one person considers "financially sound" is not necessarily what another would consider financially sound. If you've got a $800/mo car payment on top of all the normal family expenses, other debt, mortgage, credit cards, etc. and you've got a kid who might want to go to college someday and you're not actually saving for junior or even building a significant nest egg for yourself while your making the banker rich with all the interest on everything else..... well, that isn't financially sound even if you're making it work at the time.

Now I'm only partially exaggerating here as this is how an amazing percentage of Americans live. We don't know exactly what this family's situation is, but the fact that the OP hasn't answered whether or not the car is paid for is concerning. 

2. This was prenegotiated, but to what level of detail? Was there a date set for getting the car? Was there a level of financial stability/savings that had to be achieved before making the purpose (it doesn't sound like there was, but there should have been). It may well be that the car was purchased prematurely based on whether or not it was advisable to do so yet. 

It's also kind of hard to compare the wife's education to the OP's car. One is an investment... the other is a drain pure and simple. A very fun drain, but a drain nonetheless. 

I have some very nice things. But I didn't early in our marriage or early in the lives of my children. I waited until everything was _truly _solid before splurging. That's what mature people do. Maybe OP makes $250k/year in which case nothing I've said matters. But if he's not well into six figures, most people, including many guys who love toys, would consider this an extravagance. 

So to everyone saying "don't be a doormat," you may well be right. I'm just pointing out that there are too many outstanding variables here to make an accurate assessment and advise accordingly. 

Bottom line, I would also see a $10K ring as a pointless extravagance. Speaking purely personally and according to my own values here, *it sounds like both parties are overly concerned with material goods at a time when they need to be focusing their desires and attention on each other and their child.*


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Timgo said:


> Now she has her kid ....


I think you'd better get busy dusting off your mantle because the Father of the Year Prize Patrol should be knocking at your door any minute with that shiny new award you've won.

Seriously - keep the Viper. Stop allowing this shrew to dictate every dollar you spend.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Deals made before marriage must be honored. Just another form of bate and switch. tell her no. If you don’t this won’t be the last time you are expected to fold


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

My wife would like to ask two questions.

She is wondering, do you allow your wife to drive your dream car?

And, are you the baby daddy?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Timgo said:


> Everyone sounds like this when their mate isnt thinking logically


Not true. Some people know how to set boundaries know how to tell a spouse that, no, I'm keeping the car.


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

My big question would be, what other cars are in the family. When we had kids, the sports car went away. Couldn't afford a sports car and a family car. Yes we drove a mini van for a few years when we had younger kids. 

The deal before marriage should have been you can get your dream car when the family is looked after (family car, food, clothes, house, etc.). If all those things are looked after and you can afford your Viper then tell her to pound sand.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

WilliamM said:


> My wife would like to ask two questions.
> *
> She is wondering, do you allow your wife to drive your dream car?
> *
> And, are you the baby daddy?


Now that it's been mentioned... 
Yeah, that would be a factor for me. If I didn't get to drive the shiny, I'd want it sold in the interest of fairness. But then I am from the Motor City and the love everything car is in our blood here.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Massive **** test.

I’d tell her no.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> Not true. Some people know how to set boundaries know how to tell a spouse that, no, I'm keeping the car.


100% correct.


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

Windwalker said:


> 2018 Harley Davidson Fatboy 114 - not for sale
> 
> 2006 Harley Davidson Heritage Softtail Classic - selling to youngest son and will always retain right of first refusal - not for sale.


Ugh.

I never understood the fascination with Harley Davidsons. All they are good for is setting off car alarms and making enough noise to scare humans and animals as they pass by. They sound like inefficient and ill-timed explosions … happening continuously inside a steel drum. And, don’t get me started on the “ride” experience they (don’t) provide. And yes, I’ve ridden Harley’s enough to know that “soft tail” is an oxymoron and “fat boy” means painful ride.

Give me a well-functioning motorcycle with a sweet ride any day … Ducati comes to mind. I can arrive at my destination on a Ducati and walk normally afterward. 

#blasphemy


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Red Sonja said:


> Ugh.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




I love my BMW for this very reason. 


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Seems like Timgo doesn’t want to answer the questions he’s been asked several times now. 

Timgo, what gives?


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> What’s really confusing is how a Dodge could be anyone’s dream car! #shotsfired
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Mopar or no car. Duh.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> Mopar or no car. Duh.




Lol you did not strike me as a Dodge kinda gal. 


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Faithful Wife said:
> 
> 
> > Mopar or no car. Duh.
> ...


That's because you haven't seen my Superbird 

And that's mopar not just dodge <a href="http://talkaboutmarriage.com/images/smilies/wink.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Wink" ></a>


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

Mary's dream car is a 1930 Ford Model A. Maybe someday I will take on that challenge. But I just bought her a Prius. She did not bring up the Ford.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> That's because you haven't seen my Superbird
> 
> And that's mopar not just dodge <a href="http://talkaboutmarriage.com/images/smilies/wink.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Wink" ></a>




Joe Dirt!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Next time just laugh and say your so funny baby thats why I love you. Come here and give me some loven!

Sell my car lol your are funny fuuny girl!

Think I'll go for a ride! 

Then go for an extra long ride.


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

Red Sonja said:


> Ugh.
> 
> I never understood the fascination with Harley Davidsons. All they are good for is setting off car alarms and making enough noise to scare humans and animals as they pass by. They sound like inefficient and ill-timed explosions … happening continuously inside a steel drum. And, don’t get me started on the “ride” experience they (don’t) provide. And yes, I’ve ridden Harley’s enough to know that “soft tail” is an oxymoron and “fat boy” means painful ride.
> 
> ...


Different strokes, different folks.

An awful lot of pre-emptive (I know all about them) going on there. Lol. I'm not going to argue about it because I don't care. I buy what I like.
:x

The Vette and the wife's CTS-V is a POS too. 
Lol
Enough thread jack


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Faithful Wife said:
> 
> 
> > That's because you haven't seen my Superbird
> ...


That was a dodge Daytona (not a Superbird) and the cars used in the movie were "dumbed down" to look like a POS but were sold later for $20k and up.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Maybe the OP's main problem is being challenged to communicate clearly with his wife. After all, he didn't appear to be able to answer a single question we posed and seemed rather confused by some of the ideas conveyed ...


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

Faithful Wife said:


> That was a dodge Daytona (not a Superbird) and the cars used in the movie were "dumbed down" to look like a POS but were sold later for $20k and up.


Didn't know you were a "car" gal.
You're even more awesome now!
:smthumbup:


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## Capt. Cootie (Feb 22, 2013)

Honey, I am not selling the car. Where would you like to go and eat this weekend. You will be surprised how much better your marriage would be if you acted like this. I have been married for over 23 years and was previously engaged twice. The trouble started when I learned to say no. I worked 12 shift work and I married the women who told I needed to get some sleep and not the other two who were more concerned about themselves. Best of luck.


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

Mr. Nail said:


> OK there is something rotten in the state of Denmark. I just won't stand for bad math. The very affordable *Dodge viper new in 2015, cost roughly 2x anything in the Audi 2018 lineup*. The Dodge Viper review at Kelly says that it is loud and uncomfortable and somewhat risky to drive. Plenty of reasons she doesn't like his Dream Machine. And BTW it's not her son, it's your son. That is the plural your.
> 
> I'm not going to go into the power struggle dynamic. I'm not going to go into the princess of diamonds. If you say you can afford this trinket, I believe ya. Garage it and baby it all you want. Drive it sanely, or show it, whatever you want. What your son needs is not 24/7 engagement. What he needs is a good example of a good man. Better sharpen up your communications skills. Better be ready to answer every why and how question that little tyke is going to ask you. Let me tell you, in 10 ish years or so, when you buy him his first pocket knife, you are going to shake your head and wonder why you thought a car could be important.


Are you sure about that? R8, S8 etc.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

Do not sell the car! I still regret selling my 65 mustang. 


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Sell the wife.....


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

"Honey, if you're that worried about money, I'll sell the car and cancel my order on your $10K ring."


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

manwithnoname said:


> Are you sure about that? R8, S8 etc.


No, he's not. The GTS version of the Viper had a MSRP of 107,000, which is a basically a full blown race car in street clothing. The base model Viper was about 90k. I can think of at least 4 or 5 Audi that are over 100k. 

R8, RS7, S8, A8-W12, and on and on. These are all over 125k. That's based on 2015 prices.


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## BigDigg (Jan 11, 2018)

Araucaria said:


> projecting much?


Here's the thing about a Dodge Viper. It's a very polarizing car. I can imagine to a certain woman it exudes all testosterone and is a celebration of all things manliness. They might like to see their husband driving one and maybe that's the kind of guy they are attracted to. But I can also see for a different type of woman that the Viper is the car equivalent to the Christmas Story Lamp. The car might not fit the wife's perception of who her husband is, or who she wants him to be, or projects the family values in a way she wants. 

BTW - not at all saying he should get rid of this, just saying that the root of the request might not be financial at all. Communication doesn't seem to be the strong suit for these two...


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

BigDigg said:


> Here's the thing about a Dodge Viper. It's a very polarizing car. I can imagine to a certain woman it exudes all testosterone and is a celebration of all things manliness. They might like to see their husband driving one and maybe that's the kind of guy they are attracted to. But I can also see for a different type of woman that the Viper is the car equivalent to the Christmas Story Lamp. The car might not fit the wife's perception of who her husband is, or who she wants him to be, or projects the family values in a way she wants.
> 
> BTW - not at all saying he should get rid of this, just saying that the root of the request might not be financial at all. Communication doesn't seem to be the strong suit for these two...


OP hasn't told us her reasons, just that she doesn't want him to have it anymore. He hasn't answered any of our requests for further information regarding his income level, whether it is paid for, etc.

Hey, OP. I'm out until you come back and answer our questions.


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## BigDigg (Jan 11, 2018)

Couple other thoughts from a fellow conflicted car enthusiast....



 If the wife is bringing in most of the money with her new career she may not like or agree with how it's being allocated. Of course it's shared money but it's natural for the big earner to want some say on how it's spent. 
 Affordability is relative to all other scarce resource requests and needs. If I chose to move my family to my parents basement I could afford to drive a Bugatti Veyron.
 I've known a lot of people with killer cars in really modest homes. Sounds like this family is just starting to settle in on careers and the money either in terms of debt or cash outlay could be preventing them from moving up in life
 Viper (any any super car really) isn't a daily driver type car. It's a lot of cash for something that won't be used much relatively speaking and won't benefit everyone in the family. And though it may eventually hold some value (there's a floor on depreciation) it is in no way an investment or something that will help them build their futures. As a guy I don't see the value in the ring either but it wouldn't depreciate the same way a car would.
 Dreams and visions of the future are fluid and need to be shared and discussed. This couple seems to have some real communication challenges that will manifest elsewhere if they don't get on the same page. 

I'm a car guy who drives a 15yr old vehicle. My problem is that I only put about 2k miles/yr on my current car, it's low miles and still in great shape and I just can't justify buying all the cars I lust after even though I could afford many of them. At the end of the day i'm just too practical however I can understand why the OP feels like he does and owning a dream car is a big deal for some guys. A car for a certain type of guy is the equivalent to a really nice purse or jewelry for a woman. It's aspirational and says something about who they are and who they want to be.


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

BigDigg said:


> Couple other thoughts from a fellow conflicted car enthusiast....
> 
> 
> 
> ...


"I'm a practical guy who only puts about 2k a year on my 15yr old car, but I sure wish I was a car guy"

There, I fixed it for you.


[*] I've known a lot of people with killer cars in really modest homes. Sounds like this family is just starting to settle in on careers and the money either in terms of debt or cash outlay could be preventing them from moving up in life

You don't value a car. That much has been established.

Everyone determines their own version of "moving up in life". Some folks want to retire early. Some folks want the "perfect" home, so on so forth.

I have never understood the whole house thing myself. I would much rather live in a modest house, or if the situation were right, rent and put the money into the market and smoke the ROI of a house.

There again, a 10,000 square foot shop with lifts and all the accessories attached to a 2 bed whateveris my ideal property. Lol. 

Different strokes , different folks.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

BigDigg said:


> A car for a certain type of guy is the equivalent to a really nice purse or jewelry for a woman. It's aspirational and says something about who they are and who they want to be.




I have jewelry and really nice purses. They are nice.

Do they give me as much pleasure or pride as my two excellent vehicles? Not even close.

Being a car person isn't a gender thing. You either are one or you're not, what's in your pants is irrelevant.


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## x598 (Nov 14, 2012)

op this has nothing to do with the car.

it could be a golf hobby. it could have been your fishing boat. whatever.

IMO what your wife is doing is being a controlling manipulative (insert favorite expletive here).

it takes some serious mental delusion to ask for a big fat diamond ring, expensive Audi etc while denying you the one pleasure you clearly asked for in the beginning and she agreed to.

the word selfish is too soft of an adjective to describe your wife's behavior.

i dont have a solution. I will say there is some serious instability coming in your world as your wife continues her quest to rule, control and manipulate your life to her pleasure and advantage.

you are in a horrible situation. best of wishes to you.


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

Windwalker said:


> "I'm a practical guy who only puts about 2k a year on my 15yr old car, but I sure wish I was a car guy"
> 
> There, I fixed it for you.
> 
> ...


now were talkin'! 

my next big purchase for my property is going to be a building for a laboratory. i used to have a lab, but gave it up when i joined the army. then i built another one when i lived in california, but had to give it up when i moved. 

i would want a shop for building tools and furniture and such that i would need in my lab. the way my hobbies have been going lately, however, i would need two labs. one for the biological stuff, one for electronics. 

my wife has seen me make thousands of dollars with my bio lab before. tissue culture for plants, hormone injection to spawn rare species of fish, isolating and culturing critters for hobby use, etc. i doubt she would have much of an issue with it. especially if it gets all my stuff out of the house...


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## BigDigg (Jan 11, 2018)

Windwalker said:


> "I'm a practical guy who only puts about 2k a year on my 15yr old car, but I sure wish I was a car guy"
> 
> There, I fixed it for you.





Windwalker said:


> You don't value a car. That much has been established.


I mean - OK. Thanks for setting me straight. <insert South Park Goth Kids pic> :wink2:




Windwalker said:


> Different strokes , different folks.


I actually really do commiserate with the OP (you'll just have to take my word on that). That car is his passion. It feels very unfair to ask him to sacrifice it if everything else is on then up-and-up. And there's a real probability this is all just a big **** test. Just saying that there's a clear misalignment here between the two and it's very possible the car isn't the cause.


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## BigDigg (Jan 11, 2018)

Faithful Wife said:


> Being a car person isn't a gender thing. You either are one or you're not, what's in your pants is irrelevant.


Apologize for being too loose with my language and didn't mean to minimize or insult, just falling back on the old cliches that seems to fit the OP and his wife to a T.


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

BigDigg said:


> I mean - OK. Thanks for setting me straight. <insert South Park Goth Kids pic> :wink2:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I try to take things that people say at face value unless their actions contradict their words.

I saw a contradiction between words and actual action I your post. Which is what I pointed out. 

As far as the OP, I would tend to agree with you. It's a massive **** test and about control on his wife's part. I would venture to guess that the OP is conflict avoidant based on his posts and lack of answers to questions.


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

Nice! 
:smthumbup:



As'laDain said:


> now were talkin'!
> 
> my next big purchase for my property is going to be a building for a laboratory. i used to have a lab, but gave it up when i joined the army. then i built another one when i lived in california, but had to give it up when i moved.
> 
> ...


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## BigDigg (Jan 11, 2018)

Windwalker said:


> I saw a contradiction between words and actual action I your post. Which is what I pointed out.


No worries. I guess this thread hits home for me because I've been on the fence for the last few years on buying a new ride but just haven't been able to get myself to pull the trigger. And it's all on me and my wife is fully supportive (tho she wants me to get an AT - blah...). Problem is I work from home when i'm not traveling. There just isn't a practical need for a nice second car outside of the occasional errand runner. My wife has a very nice SUV we use for everything else. At the end of the day having a dedicated sports car is an extravagance even if you are able to afford it. There's always a more rationale place to park that cash for investments or things the whole family would share or dreams of eventual early retirement to be funded. Maybe it's just time I stop wrestling with this and just go for it. Yes, i think it is time :grin2:

So the heart wants what the heart wants and I totally appreciate where the OP is coming from. He's got to find a way to make his wife understand what that means to him and why. And he probably needs to make sure it isn't a huge **** test, and assuming it isn't, where she's coming from too. If he gives in and sells without really mutually agreeing he's going to resent her for this. And if she has a legitimate reason and he doesn't sell she's going to resent him for it. Bad brew...


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Calling a $90K vehicle "completely affordable" doesn't fit with most people's budget.

If it does for you--great!


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## Timgo (Feb 27, 2018)

happy as a clam said:


> Seems like Timgo doesn’t want to answer the questions he’s been asked several times now.
> 
> Timgo, what gives?


 No the car isnt paid off and yes we have a family sedan already,


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Timgo said:


> Its a 2015 dodge viper, yes we are still financially sound with everything, she has come up with ideah of all our resources and time and energy need to go towards our son.


Wrong on all levels. Time and resources go to the marriage. Child will be fine. Selling your simple enjoyment of a car will not solve anything. It will bring resentment.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Timgo said:


> I NEVER ask for anything, this is all i want, nothing else. On the flip side she constantly talks about now how much she wants a $10k ring, she always talked about a $500 kitchen aid blender, i got her one, She is now saying she wants an expensive audi AFTER THE FACT THAT SHE IS BEGGING ME TO SELL MY completly affordable car


It appears to me the car is your hobby and escape from the daily grind. Say no. It is not up for discussion. 

I own two classic cars. These are my hobby and get away from the daily grind. My W would never ask me to sell one or both for other things.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

WorkingOnMe said:


> What’s really confusing is how a Dodge could be anyone’s dream car! #shotsfired
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Even a Chevrolet Chevette is a dream car for some. There is a club for them.


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## Magnesium (Jun 19, 2017)

Yeswecan said:


> Even a Chevrolet Chevette is a dream car for some. There is a club for them.


My first 2 cars were Chevettes and I LOVED them! Wish I still had one of them. Best little hoopdie you ever saw.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Timgo said:


> I NEVER ask for anything, this is all i want, nothing else. On the flip side she constantly talks about now how much she wants a $10k ring, she always talked about a $500 kitchen aid blender, i got her one, She is now saying she wants an expensive audi AFTER THE FACT THAT SHE IS BEGGING ME TO SELL MY completly affordable car


Here is the git. Your W says to sell your car so the resources can go to your kid. In the next breath your W wants a $10k ring and Audi. See something wrong in this picture? 

Tell your W to stuff it. May be a good time to look at were this marriage is going financially cause I tell ya...your W is not thinking clearly. At least not the overall picture. Your W is thinking about herself.


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## Timgo (Feb 27, 2018)

Araucaria said:


> BigDigg said:
> 
> 
> > Here's the thing about a Dodge Viper. It's a very polarizing car. I can imagine to a certain woman it exudes all testosterone and is a celebration of all things manliness. They might like to see their husband driving one and maybe that's the kind of guy they are attracted to. But I can also see for a different type of woman that the Viper is the car equivalent to the Christmas Story Lamp. The car might not fit the wife's perception of who her husband is, or who she wants him to be, or projects the family values in a way she wants.
> ...


 our household income is 140k with me making 80 percent of that. Theres no financial issue with it, and its not paid for. Everyone keeps asking the same question, if you go back, i already answered these


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## itsontherocks (Sep 7, 2015)

If it helps, my ex-wife, who loved my car, wanted me to sell it and get something less expensive even though I owned it outright. That didn't happen.


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## itsontherocks (Sep 7, 2015)

Timgo said:


> I NEVER ask for anything, this is all i want, nothing else. On the flip side she constantly talks about now how much she wants a $10k ring, she always talked about a $500 kitchen aid blender, i got her one, She is now saying she wants an expensive audi AFTER THE FACT THAT SHE IS BEGGING ME TO SELL MY completly affordable car


Sure you didn't marry a gold digger? She saw the 100k car and thought she'd live on easy street and you'd be flipping the bill.


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## DelicateFlower (Jan 10, 2018)

After 23 years of marriage the biggest lessons I've learned is marriage MUST be a give and take. I agree with others; in one breath her logic tells you to sell the car and focus all your resources on your son but in the next she wants a $10K ring - don't compute. The only thing this rings of is selfishness. 

I have spent my entire marriage sacrificing nearly EVERYTHING for the wants of my husband and I can absolutely promise you this, her logic has nothing to do with the car and everything to do with her. The car takes your focus off of her and her needs and wants and there's probably some underlying emotional issues this is rooted in. Her issue with the car is just the blanket covering the stains on the bed. 

Only you can decide what the right answer is for you both but I can promise, if she's asking you to give up this, you'll eventually find you've spent years giving up everything you want, hope or dream for just to fill whatever her needs are and you'll be left bitter and empty.


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

OP, keep the car. 

She's holding her purse open with the request, and if you sell the car you are figuratively depositing your balls in her purse.


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## itsontherocks (Sep 7, 2015)

DelicateFlower said:


> After 23 years of marriage the biggest lessons I've learned is marriage MUST be a give and take. I agree with others; in one breath her logic tells you to sell the car and focus all your resources on your son but in the next she wants a $10K ring - don't compute. The only thing this rings of is selfishness.
> 
> I have spent my entire marriage sacrificing nearly EVERYTHING for the wants of my husband and I can absolutely promise you this, her logic has nothing to do with the car and everything to do with her. The car takes your focus off of her and her needs and wants and there's probably some underlying emotional issues this is rooted in. Her issue with the car is just the blanket covering the stains on the bed.
> 
> Only you can decide what the right answer is for you both but I can promise, if she's asking you to give up this, you'll eventually find you've spent years giving up everything you want, hope or dream for just to fill whatever her needs are and you'll be left bitter and empty.


You know what happens when one just takes, takes, takes... Right? I think this sounds like just the tip of the iceberg. OP can try MC, but that's usually just a stop before divorce. This woman wants to be his boss, not his partner. Trust when I say I know what he's going through. It a tough situation to be in.


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## FrazzledSadHusband (Jul 3, 2014)

Red Sonja said:


> Ugh.
> 
> I never understood the fascination with Harley Davidsons. All they are good for is setting off car alarms and making enough noise to scare humans and animals as they pass by. They sound like inefficient and ill-timed explosions … happening continuously inside a steel drum. And, don’t get me started on the “ride” experience they (don’t) provide. And yes, I’ve ridden Harley’s enough to know that “soft tail” is an oxymoron and “fat boy” means painful ride.
> 
> ...


I always think they sound like a 2 Cylinder John Deere tractor with WET points.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

Wait, 140k annual income and on the low end a 90k car. I'm no financial expert or anything and I don't know your debt ratios and stuff. But just looking at those two numbers has me scratching my head a bit I have to be honest.

Also just to play devil's advocate here, there are a lot of things that I say I want. That doesn't mean I'm going to go spend the money on it. I'm pretty sure every person alive does this. So your wife is allowed to voice her desires. I want a nice 60k jeep. I can voice that all day long. Doesn't mean I'm going to go out and buy it.


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## [email protected] (Mar 1, 2018)

Timgo said:


> Hi all, ive been married for 5 years, me and my wife had premarital plans for the future, hers was to have a kid and go back to school, both big financial responsibilitys. The only financial goal i discussed with her prior to marriage was that i wanted a very specific car that i have wanted all my life. Now she has her kid and her schooling is complete and i have my car. Ever since i got it, she has wanted me to sell it. It is no financial burden. What would any of you men do, and women, would you agree with my wife?


I am always wary of glossing over details. 

Literally, it reads that YOU got it, which implies you did not agree together to walk into the showroom on the day you bought it. 

As I inspect the exact English rendering of the first two sentences, it also implies the child and her education were plans you made together, whereas the goal you discussed but did not PLAN was the Viper. 

So this situation could be either a fitness test - where it was both agreed upon, planned, and purchased jointly - or instead you may have failed to extract an agreement and plan from her, and then brought the car home one day without telling her beforehand.

Regardless, it is extremely unusual for couples to have a large amount of monthly income piling up in the bank with no discussion about what you are going to do with it. It makes no sense to say a large monthly payment is "no financial burden". Yes it is. At 10% down on 90K, a 60 month loan is about $1400 a month. That's just an example for readers, since you have evaded being specific, which is a problem when you are asking this kind of advice. We have no idea what your house payments are, your college debt payments, or whatever. 

I'd say at first glance, this was written in a way that makes your wife look bad - but an exact reading of the English and your glossing over of the finances makes me think there is more to the story. 

So be more forthright and precise.


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## Akfranklin2014 (May 9, 2017)

The OP finally mentioned that the car isn't paid for. Here's the problem with selling it: if you don't either trade in it for something else or get what you still owe out of it when you sell it, you're risking your credit being ruined, which could effect your ability to get a house, another car, that 10k ring she wants, and even your sons's college loans (if he needs them). Is it worth that to your wife? I'd say keep it, pay it off, then maybe it will be time for your wife to have her nice Audi or that 10k ring. Being that you got the car, she shouldn't get to have both. Who needs to wear 10k on their finger??? I'd rather have that 10k in the bank. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

We need more specific info:


1. $140K before or after taxes?
2. How much $ per month on car payments.
3. How much $ per month on house payments (hopefully you are not renting while buying such an expensive car)
4. $ outstanding on all credit cards
5. $ per month on life insurance (both of you) , car insurance (all autos), household insurance, and other bills

And don't buy her the $10K ring. She said she wanted you to sell your car was to increase $ for your child and household. Buying a $10K ring contradicts her reason.

Also, a person is allowed to mature and change their mind. $140K a year and a $90K unpaid for car do not compute for a mature person.


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

For those unaware, I do believe the poster has bigger problems than just being worried about having to sell his car. 


http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/415689-am-i-wrong-here.html


http://talkaboutmarriage.com/genera...s-calling-police-me-when-having-argument.html

Just saying.


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## Pam (Oct 7, 2010)

Totally OT, but this thread brings back a fond memory. A doctor friend had a Viper GTS and loved it; he called it his "go like hell car". My husband lusted after one, but for some reason decided not to get it; he was obese at the time, so he might have considered that an issue. He did later get the little two-seater Lexus.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Just grow a pair and tell her its not going to happen and then tell her your next looking to buy a harley to park next to it.

And if she don't quit busting your balls about it you will be trading her in also!


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