# Chances of affair lasting



## Qwilleran (Jun 11, 2011)

I am currently separated 19 months. I will be filing for D soon as I have had enough of the emotional rollercoaster. I was just wondering what the odds are of my WS and the OM actually working out long term relationship wise. I personally can't understand how a relationship started with deceit can last. I would be interested in hearing about other's opinions/experiences on this.

Take care all! 

Qwill


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

90 percent of affairs die in two years.

I have a friend that's going on three with OM, but I can start seeing signs of discontent. I give them another six months, tops.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

My SIL's husband cheated. They got divorced less than 2 years ago. He is still with the OW but he is miserable now. He regrets it and just recently came blubbering to EX wife how awful his life is now. She just said "sucks to be you" and walked away.

Karma's a *****.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

magnoliagal said:


> My SIL's husband cheated. They got divorced less than 2 years ago. He is still with the OW but he is miserable now. He regrets it and just recently came blubbering to EX wife how awful his life is now. She just said "sucks to be you" and walked away.
> 
> Karma's a *****.


Awesome!

It's said statistically that most affairs don't last but who knows. Some do (Camilla & Prince Charles, Brangelina) and some end (Meg Ryan/Russell Crowe, Tiger Woods and all thousand of his OWs).

One thing is true though--the honeymoon phase ends in every relationship and then the "real" relationship starts.

Try not to worry about your ex. Yes, their entire relationship started on a lie so they will prob have a lot of trust issues.


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Try not to worry about your ex. Yes, their entire relationship started on a lie *so they will prob have a lot of trust issues*.


Ironically enough my AP actually said this to me towards then end off our A. She said if we did run off together that she would always wonder when I was going to leave her. Affairs are so stupid.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

^ Yes they are.



pidge70 said:


> I met my SO while I was married. We've had a lot of problems, mostly my fault. We are still together and in Nov it will be 17yrs.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Did you cheat on your ex husband with your now SO? Was your SO in a relationship?


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

the statistics are overwelmingly against any possibility of a sustained/happy relationship. Literally almost impossible. Yes, they can last (again low pertentage) for years in some cases. BUt, they are far from happy and rife with negative undertones. Jealously, insecurity, more infidelity, emotional abuse on both sides, you name it. They are poisonous.

Because the odds are so stageringly against forming a lasting relationship as the result of infidelity and people know that (they have been told that through the process and still choose to persue it despite the wisdom.) The people that do have a "longer than average" or even marginal relationships with the AP are QUICK to point out to everyone, any success. They often jump at a chance to say "SEE" it can be done, or they paint the failing relationship as more fullfilling or happy than it really is... they want to prove people wrong and hold onto the part of the fantasy that is "romantic, soul mate, against all odds" crap......

It's more bullsh*t. I promise you. These relationhips are poisoned from the start. Wish you could see, feel and essentially witness what is really happening inside of these two people's heads/hearts/souls as it all happening. It is dark and disgusting much of the time. 

You only see a tiny percentage and mostly what they allow you see about the truth of this union of sin. These are well accomlished liars as you know, and they have become just as good at lying to themselves and decieving themselves as they have the people around them. 

From day 1, it's rotting from the inside out... and if you are able to get close to it... you can smell it.

read my signature, its a dead truth.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

But tell us how you really feel, Pit. :rofl:


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

Jellybeans said:


> But tell us how you really feel, Pit. :rofl:


huh ? whatcha mean?


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

From what I've seen, 5 years was the max (and the woman went off with another man-again )

Another case: My daughter has a friend whose mother ran off with another man, leaving the father devastated. This OM left his wife and kids. Now - 2 years later - those kids have grown a little and don't really want to see him. The OM was so upset that he has promised to spend much more time with the kids.
A lot of time with his kids.
And a lot of time with his ex wife.
And now?
The mother of my daughters friend is a tad worried. She feels as if he's hiding something (F***ING LOL!) She is scared that he still feels something for the ex wife and is scared that he will move back with her.
He has now announced that he wants to go on a small holiday with the ex wife and kids.
I wonder what will happen next.
3-6 months I give it. And I'm being optimistic 

I love a good comedy


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Qwilleran said:


> I am currently separated 19 months. I will be filing for D soon as I have had enough of the emotional rollercoaster. I was just wondering what the odds are of my WS and the OM actually working out long term relationship wise. I personally can't understand how a relationship started with deceit can last. I would be interested in hearing about other's opinions/experiences on this.
> 
> Take care all!
> 
> Qwill


Well if that is any solice or not who knows. I hope you are not holding out for the affair to end. Move on.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Numb-badger said:


> The mother of my daughters friend is a tad worried. She feels as if he's hiding something (F***ING LOL!) She is scared that he still feels something for the ex wife and is scared that he will move back with her.


No, not the evil ex-wife! :rofl:



Numb-badger said:


> I love a good comedy


:lol:


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## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

After 19 months, what are you waiting for, really? 
When does the empiotnal rollercoaster become a lengthy enough ride to deciee to get off, permanently?


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

I'm curious about this too, my wife has admitted that when she started with this OM she wasn't looking to make it LTR... but I can see she is investing more and more time and energy into it, a lot more than he is by the looks of it. She even refutes that it even was cheating because in her mind she had checked out and moved on already (barely, still living in the house and was with the guy who most definitely was a PA the weekend before). Anyways, she'll be heartbroken when it ends, probably more so than when she ended it with me


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

my exH's ow is playing both him and her exBF against each other. They are both fighting for her affection (dont ask me why. I aint got a clue) but they are. It's almost comical to sit back and watch this all happen. Seriously she aint all that. She sleeps with one, tells the other about it, then that one gets mad but then she sleeps with that one to make them feel better but then tells the other one what she did and it's enough to leave one wtf'ing all the live long day. It's almost like my exH and her exBF are having some sort of chest beating, I'm more manly than you contest and neither will back down because they are too f*cking egotistical.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

magnoliagal said:


> My SIL's husband cheated. They got divorced less than 2 years ago. He is still with the OW but he is miserable now. He regrets it and just recently came blubbering to EX wife how awful his life is now. She just said "sucks to be you" and walked away.
> 
> Karma's a *****.



I comes down to that person being miserable whomever they're attached to. Serial miserablism.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

I know the statistics are against it, supposedly a 3% chance at best of the relationship lasting. Of the marriages I've seen over the years that were destroyed by cheating, I've never seen the subsequent relationship last, so maybe its true. As for my ex, after I divorced her, I never kept in contact with her. I did find her again on facebook and apparently she didn't marry OM I guess. She ballooned up like a whale. I can only shake my head. Maybe the karma bus ran her over.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> No, not the evil ex-wife! :rofl:
> 
> 
> 
> :lol:


Ok young lady you've had enough, put that can away. 

BTW who gave you the Jesus juice? The basturd must have been turned on by you wearing them pencil skirts and t-straps .


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

^ Hehehe.



Runs like Dog said:


> I comes down to that person being miserable whomever they're attached to. Serial miserablism.


That's exactly what it is, RLD.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Just my $0.02 and a perspective for any cheaters reading;
My cheating wife always told the OM's she was married a small few bailed right of way, but the one that didin't care were automaticly labeled as "moraly challenged" by her and there for used as her own bandaids just to get through a troubled marraige.

My cheating wifes own quote " any one willing to sleep with a married women wasn't worth putting to much emotion it to"


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## krismimo (Jan 26, 2011)

To be honest I think it depends might be 3 months might be three years. I'ts interesting how some people on here give conflicting advice on one thread they say take the time you need to think about it, in others they say leave asap. Like a friend told me once "You know when you had enough."


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