# Not in love anymore



## phyxius (Jul 5, 2010)

My husband and I have been having problems in our marriage. We've only been married for 2 years this February, but have been together for 8 years and I just had our daughter about 3 months ago. Just a few days ago I tried to be intimate with him and he pushed me away. We talked and later he told me that he wasn't in love with me anymore. I love him with all my heart and I don't want to lose him. I've tried to be the supportive, loving wife to him, the good mother to his child and he says I'm doing wonderful but his feelings haven't changed. I know I can get those feelings back, he says he still loves me and he does a lot for me, but I want him to love me the way he once did. I don't think I've changed that much as a person since we've met. Does anyone have any advice on how to get that spark back?


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Think long, hard, openly and critically about what your relationship was like when you did have the spark - and what has changed since.

This can range from how you do, or do not relate to one another. Work schedules, stress, physical changes, stress, depression, etc.

What were the things you did individually that made your life rich? What were the things that you did together that made love exciting?

Somewhere along the line you fell into a routine, and that routine completely shifted the dynamic of your relationship.

People can throw suggestions at you from all over the map on ways to try to improve things - but if you don't know how they deteriorated in the first place, what your contribution is and what his contribution is ... trying to do the right thing, can often be the wrong thing that pushes your partner further away.

So? What changed?


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Let's use BBW's advice for men! 

Stop begging, stop annoying him, and stop making him feel you can't live without him. 

Focus on yourself, right now maybe you need to try hard to lose weight since you just gave birth to a child. Focus on making yourself more beautiful, take good care of your skin, dress nicely, make yourself a charming woman for other men. Make him jealous of you for the attention you get from other men! 

Be positive, be confident, be bold! 

If he sticks around, great; if he doesn't, fine, find another man! There are so many men in this world!


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## Michelle27 (Nov 8, 2010)

I agree with greenpearl...focus on yourself...do things you enjoy doing and let him see you experience joy without the need for his approval. Allow your self confidence to grow, and unless there are other underlying problems, he will hopefully come around.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

So his issue is losing his sexual passion for you.
Focus on resolving this issue. Stop requesting for love because there's something bugging him, if you don't know what, no matter how hard you tell him you want him to love you like before, it won't happen!Do you know what made him change? Communicate with him well and inspect the hidden problems in your marriage.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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