# Who left?



## Kitty84 (Nov 22, 2011)

Just be curious to know who left who in your relationship? x


----------



## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

Wife left me. I knew I should have showered more often.


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Kitty84 said:


> Just be curious to know who left who in your relationship? x


STBXW asked for the "trial separation" and then physically helped me move away. Little to no communication from her since that happened last May. Divorce petition drawn up by her attorney in November, but no legal service of the document. So please tell me: Who left whom? :scratchhead:


----------



## Kitty84 (Nov 22, 2011)

I left my H in November last year x


----------



## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

my exw left the marriage when she was having her affairs...
i just finalized it by walking out the door for good.


----------



## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I left my STBXW last February.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Corima (Jan 30, 2012)

Wanting her own life. My wife did. For the second and last time, she walked out on me and our children. I hope, in time, my children dont grow to resent her.


----------



## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

My H left.


----------



## melissa68 (Feb 10, 2012)

My H left. Nothing to say it was coming...we had just returned from a weekend away....bags just in the house still unpacked....whole drive home talking about future events. Been 5 weeks and he's been staying at 'mommys' yes I have deep resentment for that as this isnt the first time he's left...just the longest he's stayed gone. Hasen't seen the kids except one 2 hr visit a few weeks ago.


----------



## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

She did.

She said was unhappy, chose to cheat instead of work on the marriage, asked for divorce while keeping her affair hidden, I found evidence on EA/PA, got trickle-truthed, begged and pleaded for her to stay, she was miserable so I "let her go", she walked out taking only a few items, I found more truth (PA with OM#2), we somehow negotiated a parenting schedule, I hired a divorce lawyer to draft separation agreement, it went uncontested. Divorce decree is in the mail, I own the house and everything in it including all stuff less a few furnishings she wanted for her apartment, she got the retirement savings to settle up the equity.


----------



## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

My stbxw gave me the ilybnilwy speech in December, filed for divorce in January, court date will be in May. She apparently values other things such as going out drinking with her friends, other men's affection and attention, as opposed to her loving husband's affection, and having her two children have their daddy in their life all the time. Hope she gets treated like the tainted piece of meat she is acting like.


----------



## cabbage65 (Feb 14, 2012)

my h left over a year ago for a supposed "trial" separation, came back and now is leaving again (for good!) this week, day after our 20th annv.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I left, he filed.


----------



## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

H left to continue his cheatin' openly. According to his version, he "left" emotionally a few years before the physical abandonment. Just felt "disconnected" from our marriage and me but chose to keep that so called disconnect to himself. Must say that his performance as "loving husband" was Oscar worthy!


----------



## Traggy (Jan 26, 2012)

She did. She wanted to see the grass on the other side.


----------



## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

My stbxh was never in a marriage. From the get go he had another woman (at least one) he was involved with on the side. He put the house in his name (had a showcase reason for that) so I left him.
Why would I stay? Does it make me a bad person because I left my 'husband'? Sure, LEGALLY he was a husband, but really, I can call my cat a horse. He'll still meow and purr.


----------



## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

She walked out and then blamed me for "abandoning her".

I didn't think that was very nice.


----------



## hurtinme (Feb 16, 2012)

I asked ger to leave but as she wanted to be with her friends all the time she left me a year before although not physically. Green green grass of different . No one will lookk after her and love her as i did i can gaurentee that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

She did. 

At my request.


----------



## justwhy (Dec 7, 2011)

I changed the locks on him..


----------



## cantmove (Feb 20, 2012)

He did. He gave me the ilybinilwy speech when I found out about the 2nd lta (6ys this time). He did stick around for another year and half without her. Claimed he tried real hard but got it again "ilybinilwy". He told me 11 days agao and left today. He feels real good about himself because this wasn't about the affairs it was about his feelings. What bunch of bs!!


----------



## hilly2 (Jan 15, 2012)

Husband left on 12/31. Said that he was not happy, that I am holding him back from what he wants to do, and doesn't want to try working on the marriage anymore. 

I should have left him a long time ago. Found evidence of inappropriate online behavior, very flirtatious, needs continuous praise, and needs to seek attention from other females. Major self-esteem issues.


----------



## broken41 (Feb 21, 2012)

Hmmm... well I was forced to leave by court order, didn't want to, but judges don't like it when you ignore their instructions.
He served me 7 years ago too, I left for 2 days. Then reconciled.
I would like to reconcile again just so I can serve him this time and give him a taste of his own crap. Haha. Just kiddin. But not really.


----------



## KanDo (Jun 15, 2011)

Well, she left me by having affairs. I gave her the choice of me or him. She said she wanted him but stayed in the house for months until I finally got her out. Then she saw the grass was not greener when I cut off the money and she wanted to reconcile. NO DICE! So I'm not certain who an external observer would say letf, but I would say her. It's a pretty bizarre story.


----------



## bestplayer (Jan 23, 2010)

Kitty84 said:


> Just be curious to know who left who in your relationship? x


Sorry off-topic , but just curious , does your H know that you have been sleeping with other men after you dumped him?


----------



## sd212 (Feb 24, 2012)

My wife left. She left for the OM. 
She wanted to stay physically for a long time and for me to just deal with it so that she could have her family and her fun. I couldn't take it so I asked that she physically leave, she did.


----------



## Wildflower3 (Nov 20, 2011)

H left.

1. Doesn't love me. Never loved me (15 years together, 9 1/2 years married, 3 kids 4 and under). 
2. Doesn't want to work on the marriage. Doesn't see us having a loving relationship. Doesn't miss me, etc. Never used the "D" word. Think he wants me to be the bad guy to make the ultimate decision.
3. Thinks this whole life we built was just a logical progression. Built this fantasy life in the burbs, realized it's not what he wanted. I'm not what he wanted.


----------



## freckles18 (Sep 4, 2010)

H left 3 days after Christmas in 2009 in a very dramatic fashion. 

He says it's because I was being abusive to our children because I wanted to fight and argue with him all the time. He doesn't seem to recall the times we would be arguing in our bedroom with the door closed and then he would storm out of the house while calling me every name in the book as he ran past the kids in the living room.

He was the victim then and still is the victim now. 

Moved in with his parents and is still there, 2+ years later. 

I'm giving him what he wants now by moving out so the house can be sold so he can get his part of the equity; that's all he's ever wanted since he left.


----------



## phillybrokenheart (Mar 9, 2012)

He says I kicked him out. I say it was his choice - I asked him to make a decision, either he got my stepdaughter REAL help or I couldn't go on anymore. He refused.

???


----------



## justabovewater (Jun 26, 2011)

H left physically in July in 2011, one day before our 23rd anniversary, emotionally he checked out in October of 2010. This all happend after a months long EA with some skank in another country (which he will deny until they slam the casket door in his face). Real sad part is I still love him and keep hoping against hope that he'll come back. Oh yeah, he's in the midst of a full blown mid-life crisis...which he also denies.


----------



## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

Wildflower3 said:


> H left.
> 
> 1. Doesn't love me. Never loved me (15 years together, 9 1/2 years married, 3 kids 4 and under).
> 2. *Doesn't want to work on the marriage. Doesn't see us having a loving relationship. Doesn't miss me, etc. Never used the "D" word. Think he wants me to be the bad guy to make the ultimate decision.*
> 3. Thinks this whole life we built was just a logical progression. Built this fantasy life in the burbs, realized it's not what he wanted. I'm not what he wanted.


I have people and my therapist telling me this too.


----------



## Set me FREE (Sep 5, 2011)

He was abusive and carried on a long term affair and rubbed all of our faces in it by only coming home every other day..if that often and taking about the OW openly and endlessly...I asked for the divorce and then asked him to leave and he left with a promise to pay all of the household expenses til I could get on my feet after being a stay at home mom for 9+ years with no college degree. He paid half of the electric bill the following month and then cut us off completely...forcing the kids and I to move in with my mom and then he took my car away and totaled it 2 weeks later. The marital home now sits empty, though I am pretty sure the mortgage company has secured it by now...

I started the divorce process in September, his lawyer filed an hour before mine and we have mediation in mid April with a temporary support hearing in mid May(and this is with the state of FL suing him too because the kids and I were forced to go on assistance). He went from making 250k per year to riding the divorce out on his GF's couch while she pays the bills. He is liquidating the business assets before we get to court and shutting it down and 'looking for a regular job'.


----------



## MeetVirginia (Feb 17, 2012)

He left first, emotionally, by his actions, or lack of, for 8 years (married 16). I left, moved out, a month ago. Who is the "bad guy" here? We do go to joint counseling once a week......


----------



## smith9800 (Mar 7, 2012)

Depends on situation. If you are happy with your relationship and your spouse is not then he/she will be responsible and if they are happy and you are not then you are responsible.......


----------



## ontheup (Mar 4, 2012)

my H left end of june 2010 after a EA which was on and off since 2008, he moved in with the EA in the july 700 miles away leaving me and kids behind.


----------

