# Pissed off



## Jeffk (Nov 15, 2014)

My wife likes a group page on Facebook called, My Inner Child is a drunken *****. Its a closed group and she doesn't want me to join. I found out this morning that one of the threads on this page was a "game" called would you f*ck the person who comments above you. Her response was "Sure, why not" The guy liked her comment. The guy below her comment said he would "f*ck" her. She liked his comment. If I confront her about. This she will say its only a game and she ddoesnt know any of these people. That's not the point. I think she woud have sex with. Him given thde cncd.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

You need to let her know this is way out of bounds and if she continues to act this way there will be dire consequences.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Thound said:


> You need to let her know this is way out of bounds and if she continues to act this way there will be dire consequences.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I suspect they have much bigger issues in their relationship than this one particular instance... 

C


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## JustTired (Jan 22, 2012)

That's a very childish & inappropriate game for your wife to engage herself in. But how do you _really_ know that she would have sex with the dude if given a chance? Has she done other things that make you distrust her?

If this is your wife's first offense, I would talk to her about boundaries & what is a no-no to you. However, if she has engaged in other inappropriate things....your wife has a boundary issue & needs consequences to her actions.


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## Jeffk (Nov 15, 2014)

She has betrayed my trust. Plain and simple. I know she will say she doesn't know the guy, and it was just a "game". I guarantee you if she found out I did something like that there would be hell to pay. She violated our wedding vows in my opinion and by saying that and by liking what the other guy said, she would sleep with someone else if she had the chance.


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## Jeffk (Nov 15, 2014)

Yes, she has a history of cheating on her previous husband. I didn't find this out until after we were married. She swore she would never do it to me, after reading this I seriously doubt it.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

I've seen those kinds of stupid games on facebook, usually it's the teen crowd doing that kind of stuff. I really don't think it means anything about her actually sleeping with other guys, just that, IMO, it's immature and silly to be playing them on facebook when you are a married adult.


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## wise (Sep 1, 2013)

Two problems:

(1) Your wife is telling other men she would 'f*ck them.' It doesn't matter if she would actually sleep with him or not, the fact that your wife would communicate that to another man is insane and absolutely disrespectful. It is one thing to think to yourself or gossip it with your girlfriends, but to actually say it to the guy is just as bad as cheating in my book.

(2) Your wife has no respect for you. She dismissed your legitimate concern as it only being a game and to relax. In her mind, she did nothing wrong which make complete sense as to cheating on her previous husband. She justifies any 'outside marital boundaries' and takes no responsibility for any of it. Be very careful. 

Me and my girl would have a serious talk about this. If I ever saw anything remotely close to this incident ever again, I would leave, no questions asked. Unless there is some golden married rule I do not know about that gives spouses an exception to tell members of the opposite sex that they'd f*ck them, whether its in person or online, then she has completely stepped outside of the marriage.


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## BWBill (Jan 30, 2013)

How long have you been married?

Do you have children?


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

Jeffk said:


> "Sure, why not."


How about being MARRIED?!? That's "why not"....

Your wife has very little respect for you just like her previous husband and you know how that turned out. 

She needs consequences NOW. In other words, a swift proverbial kick in the a$$. Tell her to, "Get rid of the facebook or this marriage is over. Your choice." 

If she even hesitates let alone puts up a stink, you're already screwed. You should be the most important thing in her life period. The above statement will tell you everything you need to know.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Calmly tell her this is not acceptable.
Ask her if you were chatting up other women like this if she would accept it.
Of course not!
If she refuses well there is your answer then file don't tell her.
Maybe she will take you serious though given her history...


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

She enjoys risky behaviors with the opposite sex. This is a boundary issue for most married people. Is she impulsive? What other impulsive and risky behaviors is she involved in? 

Jeff, did you finish NMMNG?


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## JustTired (Jan 22, 2012)

Jeffk said:


> Yes, she has a history of cheating on her previous husband. I didn't find this out until after we were married. She swore she would never do it to me, after reading this I seriously doubt it.


I can certainly understand why it makes you very upset now. It's definitely time to have a serious talk & lay out the consequences of her behavior.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Jeffk said:


> Yes, she has a history of cheating on her previous husband. I didn't find this out until after we were married. She swore she would never do it to me, after reading this I seriously doubt it.


Jeff, I don't think this will end well. I'm sorry. The FB chit chat appears to be the tip of the iceberg. 

In any case, the entire FB exchange is immature. There is no reason for her to be on the page. Further, you are not allowed to join the page. Red flag.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

That's really immature. She needs to know that. You need to confront her. Even if she says it's just a game and she doesn't know the guy...you respond with - "It's immature, distasteful, and shows a severe lack of respect for me, YOUR HUSBAND. You don't go around telling random guys that you would f*ck them...especially given your past...."

Okay that might be a bit mean, but maybe she needs it.


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## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

staarz21 said:


> That's really immature. She needs to know that. You need to confront her. Even if she says it's just a game and she doesn't know the guy...you respond with - "It's immature, disrespectful, and shows a severe lack of respect for me, YOUR HUSBAND. You don't go around telling random guys that you would f*ck them...especially given your past...."
> 
> Okay that might be a bit mean, but maybe she needs it.


She needs it and she deserves it.


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## Jeffk (Nov 15, 2014)

What really bothers me is that she is going to be leaving for Ft Worth shortly and will be gone at least two months for her job. That really bothers me.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Jeffk said:


> What really bothers me is that she is going to be leaving for Ft Worth shortly and will be gone at least two months for her job. That really bothers me.


Oh sh!t
Don't tell me one or a few guys are from there in that stupid forum.
Dude you should be pissed and better have a talk with her or say nada, keep tabs on her via gps PEN VAR in her purse-hint,hint and if anything goes down serve her there.
Why gone that long?:scratchhead:
Eh surprise visit???


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I'm not going to tell you your old lady is going to cheat or if she is not going to cheat.

If I had the means I would hire a PI in the Ft Worth area and get the validation you need to let her go or keep her.

At the end of the day I would not *let* my old lady go...but thats just me and how me and my old lady work after her adultery.

I think this 2 month "seperation" is the end of this marriage. I think shyt will never be the same if or when she comes back. As painful as this sound maybe this "seperation is what you both need to let each other go. I have a feeling it's just a matter of time before you see the distance grow and the once a night phone calls turn into every other nigh phone calls and by the second month you guy will be "touching base" once a week.

They way I see it is you guys can see were the chips fall and deal with later or....deal with it now and call her out now ...save some time...and see how important her job is versus how important her marriage is. Either way you *must show her a confident guy that is good no matter what she decides...chicks dig confident guys.

Beside all this facebook crap that two month work crap is a deal breaker for me. My old lady has phucked enough guys (while married to me) for me to know that her going away for even a night is a deal breaker!!!!


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Jeffk said:


> My wife likes a group page on Facebook called, My Inner Child is a drunken *****. Its a closed group and she doesn't want me to join. I found out this morning that one of the threads on this page was a "game" called would you f*ck the person who comments above you. Her response was "Sure, why not" The guy liked her comment. The guy below her comment said he would "f*ck" her. She liked his comment. If I confront her about. This she will say its only a game and she ddoesnt know any of these people. That's not the point. I think she woud have sex with. Him given thde cncd.


That's the neat thing about boundaries and behaviors you state as showstoppers. She has every right to either continue to do what you don't like or to respect your boundary. You have every right to determine your own boundaries and decide with ones are important enough to throw your hands up and call it quits.

The fundamental truth though is that you can't make her stop being inappropriate but if I were in your shoes then I would let my wife know that's something I can not live with my wife doing. She could choose to see that as controlling if she wished and that would lead to us separating and me eventually looking for someone more compatible.


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## Jeffk (Nov 15, 2014)

I have confronted her about it before and she got really, really pissed. The reason she got pissed is that it was during Christmas and I got her a sexy nightie for Christmas. She proceeded to take the panties and put them on the tree and take a picture of them and post them on this page. I asked her not to do it because I thought it was inappropriate. Her response was, "I don't know any of those people what's the big deal." I said the "the big deal is I asked you not to do it but you did any way. " That's when the fight started and I told her to get her sh*t and get out because I wouldn't live with someone I didn't trust. We "made up", but now she does this.


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## Jeffk (Nov 15, 2014)

I just asked her in a calm way, to please stay off that page. She got very pissed.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Divorce looks like the clear answer to me.


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## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

jld said:


> Divorce looks like the clear answer to me.


I agree. Kick her ass to the curb and move on to a better woman. This one is not a keeper.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

She may not know any of the people on the page, BUT: People she knows are going to see what she's commenting. Now you have dudes that know your wife likes to talk about if a man other than her husband is F-able or not. Men who'd otherwise not try are going to be thinking about it now.

Point THAT out to her in regards to her argument that she used.


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## Jeffk (Nov 15, 2014)

I agree. She's not worth it. Like someone earlier said, she wouldnt like it if I was talking about other women. And, just like someone else said, when shes in Ft Worth the daily calls will stop. I KNOW she will be going out while she is there, she has friends who live there. Single friends.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Jeffk said:


> What really bothers me is that she is going to be leaving for Ft Worth shortly and will be gone at least two months for her job. That really bothers me.


Tell her to stay there.


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## Jeffk (Nov 15, 2014)

Thinking I'm going to hit her with the divorce thing thing this morning. After all we've been pretty much living like room mates since our son left for the Military.
I've approached her for sex many, many times and she has turned me down. I know that's a sign of infidelity. So, I quit trying. She NEVER tries to initiate sex, she use to, but not any more. I'm done with her. Physically, mentally, and emotionally.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

I'm sorry. It just sounds like she gets excited by having strangers comment on her - even though she's married. The two month separation should start with divorce papers in her hand on the way out the door. Tell her to stay in Ft. Worth. She doesn't care about your feelings.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Rather than confront her about this and tell her it's completely disrespectful,childish and inappropriate......I would start accepting/recognizing the person in front of me.

That is some "childish" teenage girl type of crap right there......sad, really sad.


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## AlisonBlaire (Feb 5, 2015)

Not only has she disrespected you and your marriage, but she has disrespected herself. I know that some people just don't require much of themselves, but a part of me still shakes my head to wonder why they would give themselves permission to devalue their dignity. 

I am sorry to hear of your troubles through this matter. I hope our support helps you in some way.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

sorry man she's on the highway to hell unless she can get her head out of her backside and take an exit


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## knightRider (Dec 31, 2014)

Makes my stomach turn hearing stuff like this. 

Work on yourself and move onto better things.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

She's placed you into the roll of Daddy. You're now the guy who's standing between her and her fun, rather than the guy she has fun with. Instead of being you and her against the world, it's her and the world against you.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

Jeffk said:


> What really bothers me is that she is going to be leaving for Ft Worth shortly and will be gone at least two months for her job. That really bothers me.


Based on the fact that she cheated on her last husband, and says "sure" to the question of "would you f**k" a particular person.....you better believe she is going to be trying to get some strange.

I wouldn't trust her as far as I could throw her. For all you know, she might have secretly messaged one of these guys that might be within driving distance of where she is going to be and will live up to her FB comments.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

Jeffk said:


> I have confronted her about it before and she got really, really pissed


Oh ya, you definitely have cause for concern. SHE engages in appropriate behavior, and SHE is the one that is pissed?

I wouldn't put up with being married to someone like this, as if being a known cheater wasn't bad enough.



> Thinking I'm going to hit her with the divorce thing thing this morning.



NO, DON'T!!! See an attorney, get the ball rolling, and then the day she leaves, right before she leave on this trip, have her served.

You'll have gotten a leg up, she will be hit with it and won't really be able to deal with it until she gets back. Give her something to think about when she is out of town.


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## MachoMcCoy (Oct 20, 2014)

Jeffk said:


> I KNOW she will be going out while she is there, she has friends who live there. Single friends.





Jeffk said:


> we've been pretty much living like room mates since our son left for the Military. I've approached her for sex many, many times and she has turned me down.


2 months, huh? Wow. I'd love to just post "PARTY TIME!!", but that would be flippant of me. There WILL be men, but you know that, right? 

I have no advice. Sorry.


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## MachoMcCoy (Oct 20, 2014)

If she'll act like that in front of you, imagine when the cat's not around.


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

Jeffk said:


> My wife likes a group page on Facebook called, My Inner Child is a drunken *****. Its a closed group and she doesn't want me to join. I found out this morning that one of the threads on this page was a "game" called would you f*ck the person who comments above you. Her response was "Sure, why not" The guy liked her comment. The guy below her comment said he would "f*ck" her. She liked his comment.





Jeffk said:


> My wife on the other hand is the type that when she sees something going on that isnt right, she will let that person know about it.


 Since you see "something going on that isnt right", time to be like your wife and let her "know about it".


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Jeffk said:


> Thinking I'm going to hit her with the divorce thing thing this morning. After all we've been pretty much living like room mates since our son left for the Military.
> I've approached her for sex many, many times and she has turned me down. I know that's a sign of infidelity. So, I quit trying. She NEVER tries to initiate sex, she use to, but not any more. I'm done with her. Physically, mentally, and emotionally.


The timeline sounds like she's been biding her time until your son was grown so once he left for the military she was done. Life is too short to be with someone who doesnt want to be with you Jeff. Let her go or if you have to kick her our.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Why are you with this person? She sounds less attractive than rotten goat cheese.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

I would tell her how you saw the comments, let her know your concern for the group and that was why you looked in the first place and ask her to remove herself from the group. This is inappropriate behavior for a married woman to be practicing online. Whether she knows these men or not is not the issue. I cannot tell you how many men have contacted me thru FaceBook that I do not know. Some men (and women) love this type of attention and seek internet hook-ups as they see them as safe but they are not.


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## Suspecting2014 (Jun 11, 2014)

Well as she is not willing to stop , btw she should do this by her own not bc you may D her, there is one thing u could do...get your self in a similar web as hers and do as she does!!! Let her know and dont hide it.

IMO she should experience first hand what she is putting you through, before it scalate


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Suspecting2014 said:


> Well as she is not willing to stop , btw she should do this by her own not bc you may D her, there is one thing u could do...get your self in a similar web as hers and do as she does!!! Let her know and dont hide it.
> 
> IMO she should experience first hand what she is putting you through, before it scalate


Acting like a fool to prove to a fool how foolish they are is foolish.


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## Suspecting2014 (Jun 11, 2014)

CynthiaDe said:


> Acting like a fool to prove to a fool how foolish they are is foolish.


Only if acting like a fool is to get revenge but not to show her how does it feels like.

IMO she feel entitled because is only on intenet and this far, at least for her, is not real. If she gets the chance to feel how real it is for dear H, then she may realize how wrong she is.

This is not for teaching a lesson but open her eyes.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Suspecting2014 said:


> Only if acting like a fool is to get revenge but not to show her how does it feels like.
> 
> IMO she feel entitled because is only on intenet and this far, at least for her, is not real. If she gets the chance to feel how real it is for dear H, then she may realize how wrong she is.
> 
> This is not for teaching a lesson but open her eyes.


If it's wrong for her, it's wrong for him.
I believe in justice, but I never practice revenge. Revenge puts a person on the same level as the offender.


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## Jeffk (Nov 15, 2014)

I asked her to leave the page, she said she would. In fact, she hasn't. Another lie. She posts things on FB about how much she loves me. I honestly believe she does this to keep me off track about what she is ACTUALLY doing. I feel guilty as hell for spying on her, but I don't trust her as far as I can throw her. 

She is on FB CONSTANTLY. From the time she gets up, until we go to bed. I have confronted her about this and she gets mad. I can't help but think she IS up to something, whether it be chatting with someone, I don't know. She keeps the volume turned down on her phone so I won't hear the notifications when they come in. How can I catch her without her knowing I'm spying ? She has a Kindle Fire, there's no way to put a key logger on them, and her phone is constantly by her side. But it is left out where I can see it when she is in bed. 

I asked her why she was constantly on her phone on FB and her Kindle. She said, "if I was doing anything I wouldn't leave it out for you to see."


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

I thought you were going to serve her with divorce papers?


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## Jeffk (Nov 15, 2014)

I am. Just trying to gather as much evidence as I can. But, I am definetly serving her.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Jeffk said:


> I am. Just trying to gather as much evidence as I can. But, I am definetly serving her.


Have you asked a lawyer if it matters if you catch her, or what kind of proof would be required if you did catch her? Or what the cost is of fighting a "for cause" divorce? 

My advice... Talk to a lawyer before you get too hung up on getting proof. You have what you need to know already. Closure is in your head, and you'll likely never know the whole truth. 

C


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

do you want to serve her before or during her Dallas trip?


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## jolyajones (Feb 25, 2015)

yes you all right. now a days over community build. Every people make a relation with girls,women just f *ck not other matter. So be careful for those peopleee.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

Alright. First let me tell you how you are being an overly sensitive idiot...and then let me tell you how you are NOT being an overly sensitive idiot.

A guy is in a bar with a couple of friends. One of the friends nudges him. "Would you tap that?" he asks, pointing to a nubile woman.

"Sure I would. And I'd tap that and that and that." he say, in the privacy of friendship and knowing he is talking out of his ass and he has no intention of approaching any of these women.

People do this. They talk out of their ass on occasion.

A lady friend of the wife hears this, and sends a quick text to the wife.

Wife tears his head off. HE has to stop going to bars and he needs to stop seeing those friends. What he did was humiliatig and disrespectful.

This is true. It WAS disrespectful...but isn't that what apologies are for? Does he allow his wife to set a dangerous precedent to be able to vet all his social contacts? HELL NO! The punishment is far outside the realm of the crime.


This is what happened to your wife.

You blatantly overreacted...and if that was all that was in play, I would stop there. 

But there is all that other stuff.

Sexless and she is constantly in a reality that does not include you at all? The stupid little game was not good.

That is deadly. 

So...since this is a pro marriage site, I'd suggest telling her that while she is gone, she thinks if she wants to go counseling or divorce because it's an either/or choice. No third option in your mind.

If you do not want to go that route, see a lawyer, secure your personal valuables and figure out your living logistics when she is gone.


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## MachoMcCoy (Oct 20, 2014)

With all due respect, JCD, it appears that this website exists for the sole purpose of having sexual conversations with strangers. Just look at the name of it. If he was going to bars with his pals purely to determine which women he'd "tap", then it is fully appropriate for his wife to stop it.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

MachoMcCoy said:


> With all due respect, JCD, it appears that this website exists for the sole purpose of having sexual conversations with strangers. Just look at the name of it. If he was going to bars with his pals purely to determine which women he'd "tap", then it is fully appropriate for his wife to stop it.


Facebook? I thought it was designed for the sole purpose of people sending me &^%*()%#@ Farmville and Candy Crush requests.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

JCD said:


> Facebook? I thought it was designed for the sole purpose of people sending me &^%*()%#@ Farmville and Candy Crush requests.


No. There are all sorts of groups on facebook. I'm sure anything you can imagine. I know someone who even started a group for parents of picky eaters. Seriously, I'm sure you could find anything you are interested in. In the case of the op's wife, she is in a group that sounds like it's some of kind cheaters group or general sex group.


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## MachoMcCoy (Oct 20, 2014)

JCD said:


> Facebook?


I was talking about the "My Inner Child is a drunken *****" I'm sure that first * is a w. She's on a chat room with that title and her husband isn't allowed on it. That's a little different than invitations to play Mafia Wars.


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## CincyBluesFan (Feb 27, 2015)

Jeffk said:


> My wife likes a group page on Facebook called, My Inner Child is a drunken *****. Its a closed group and she doesn't want me to join. I found out this morning that one of the threads on this page was a "game" called would you f*ck the person who comments above you. Her response was "Sure, why not" The guy liked her comment. The guy below her comment said he would "f*ck" her. She liked his comment. If I confront her about. This she will say its only a game and she ddoesnt know any of these people. That's not the point. I think she woud have sex with. Him given thde cncd.


Tell her how you feel honestly without turning it into a fight. If she respects you as her husband that'll be the end of her participating on that page. If she has no respect for you she will continue and you all will not last the long haul.

I've been married 29 years to my wonderful wife. Neither of us would ever do anything like what your wife has done. For us that is clearly out of bounds. We agree on that. For you it appears that it's also out of bounds. If your wife doesn't agree then you have some real thinking to do about the future of your relationship.


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## CincyBluesFan (Feb 27, 2015)

Jeffk said:


> *Yes, she has a history of cheating on her previous husband.* I didn't find this out until after we were married. She swore she would never do it to me, after reading this I seriously doubt it.


Wow, that kind of sucks. Personally I could never have a relationship with someone who had previously cheated. That would be too big a character flaw for me. I know everyone is different and some people could be ok with it but I couldn't. If someone is in a bad relationship then end the relationship, don't cheat.

As for you, you were lied to from the start. That might also be a deal breaker for me.


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