# hello



## dragonfly (Dec 26, 2007)

Hello everyone, I am new here. Am glad to find this forum to let me post my frustration. My marriage is on the rock now. I am so sad. sob sob. 

Thanks for listening.


----------



## berlinlife06 (Dec 26, 2007)

Hi, I´m new here too. What´s going on with you? Care to share? Maybe talking will help you confront the situation right now. At least I am a firm believer in talking things out to help me in getting better.


----------



## kajira (Oct 4, 2007)

Welcome to both of you!! The support here is great, I do not know what I would do without everyone!


----------



## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

Welcome both of you to the forums you can get some great help here and just vent if need be. There are many wonderful people on the board willing to help when and where they can.

draconis


----------



## dragonfly (Dec 26, 2007)

Hi, I am a chinese lady, age 42 from Singapore. I am very sad, my husband does not treat me bad but also not very good at all. He is a very egoistic person, he is too self centred of himself. He never care for my feelings and always always take me forgranted. I don't know why I must suffer all this ****s from him.

I feel like leaving him it is just a matter of time. But. now, i must care more for my children as they are still in their teens.


----------



## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

dragonfly said:


> Hi, I am a chinese lady, age 42 from Singapore. I am very sad, my husband does not treat me bad but also not very good at all. He is a very egoistic person, he is too self centred of himself. He never care for my feelings and always always take me forgranted. I don't know why I must suffer all this ****s from him.
> 
> I feel like leaving him it is just a matter of time. But. now, i must care more for my children as they are still in their teens.


I am from the US and do not know how Singapore law works but is there a way that if you leave him now that he would still be responcible for paying for the childrens care.

If that is not an option then look into things that will make yourself happy. Don't let his ego destroy your self worth.

I hope you stay on the forums any help we can give or advice, or even an ear to listen we are here.

draconis


----------



## dragonfly (Dec 26, 2007)

Thanks draconis for your prompt reply, oriental ladies may have different thinking from the westerners, we always believe family comes first. I love my children very much, I don't want them to grow up in a broken family. I am now in this forum as no one understands me at all in my circle of friends and relatives. 

Many of my friends said, since your husband is in such a way, as a wife you have to give and take, sometimes you have tocompromise and tolerate. Why, I always think how long can this go on? Why must I suffer? Again for the sake of my children future and healthy growing minds, I have swallow my pain and sorrow.


----------



## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

It is very true that our culture is very different from your. Your children may see what you are going through as well. But, it is unfair for me to judge you or your culture, so I will try to give advice within those bounds.

I think the one thing you should do is things you can take pride in for yourself. Writing, painting or whatever it is you have always wanted to do. Maybe it will help you get through dealing with him the best you can.

Please do not let him break your spirit. You come across as a strong women that has already endured much in life. Look at your self as a survivor who has overcome the hardships and find pride and comfort in things you might enjoy until the children are out of the house.

draconis


----------



## dragonfly (Dec 26, 2007)

Thank you, I agree with what you said, I am now looking into learning my roller blading and also ballroom dancing. I want myself to be happy. 

Thanks for listening.


----------



## 3plus3 (Nov 1, 2007)

I hope things get better for you dragonfly. I don't think anyone should stay in an unhealthy relationship just for the sake of the children, doesn't always work out very well in the long run.


----------



## dragonfly (Dec 26, 2007)

3plus3, yes you are right. I am feeling very uncomfortable now. I am thinking what should I do. Lately I felt so sick of seeing him already. Luckily he is always on business trips and I don't see him often.


----------



## dragonfly (Dec 26, 2007)

Sometimes I ponder, why my husband can be so heartless, he does not seems to have any feeling for me, when he sees me sad and crying he does not bother to console me, talk to me, or even at least understand that our marriage really need help.


----------



## kajira (Oct 4, 2007)

Sometimes we need to find the strength within ourseleves rather than depend on someone else. This can be a hard lesson to learn.


----------



## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

dragonfly said:


> Sometimes I ponder, why my husband can be so heartless, he does not seems to have any feeling for me, when he sees me sad and crying he does not bother to console me, talk to me, or even at least understand that our marriage really need help.


It might be a cultural thing more than anything else, but in the western countries some men still feel this is a sign of weakness which they are taught from an early age that they can not show.

draconis


----------

