# Is there a negative stigma attached to divorced people?



## legiox

I hope not. I will soon serve D papers on my stbxw early next year (thats what she wanted anyway, just walked out for no damn reason). I'm just afraid there will be a stigma attached to me when i begin dating again. I just don't want people say... "oh hes divorced" he must be bad or something.


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## PBear

Better than still being married when you start dating again... 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Holland

I haven't found it to be so. Might be my age group, mid 40's, lots of divorced people.

What does it matter anyway what other people say or think? I am happily divorced and this is how I present myself to the world, people can either deal with it or nick off.


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## arbitrator

I would think that in the 1950's and 1960's, there was definitely a stigma attached to it; from the 1970's to the present, not so much. Since that time, divorce itself has become so much more commonplace, despite it still being just as traumatic as it ever was!


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## ScarletBegonias

Depends on why you're divorced I suppose.I don't like telling people I was ever even married.It's really none of their business anyway unless you're dating the person.


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## Paradise

I think most of it is self-imposed. For example, I'm not necessarily embarrassed about being divorced but I am embarrassed about how it happened and I know a lot of people who I once worked with and who use to know me felt really bad for me. I'm not sure exactly what people think of my ex that use to be friends with us. I packed up and left that life behind to start over somewhere else. The entire divorce process and being left for another man was very hard on my ego.


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## Jellybeans

Paradise said:


> I think most of it is self-imposed.


:iagree:

Sadly, divorce is common now. The good thing re: the stigma is that it's not the "WTF"-thing of the past that it used to be. So I don't think it has the stigma I did before.

Personally, I was deeply ashamed at & embarassed by being divorced. I have residual effects to where it has traumatized me to the point where I feel and say I would never marry again.

Let's face it: no one gets married intending to divorce.

I don't think anyone enjoys the fact they got married w/ high hopes and it ended in divorce BUT, the fact is, half of all marriages end in divorce. Which means, there are a LOT of divorces. 

Sometimes (and I know this is bad), I will be sitting with a group of my friends (couples) and think "In the future, which half of you will be getting divorced?" It seems most of my friends at this age are getting married and starting families now whereas I am childless and already got married and divorced. It's very interesting to watch it all happening from my point of view. I think "Who's next?" sometimes but of course I want the couples to last! It's just the fact that divorce is definitely going to happen to some of them when it comes to the stats.


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## CandieGirl

No, not unless the person has multiple divorces under their belt...JMO, tho!


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## Paradise

Jellybeans said:


> :
> 
> Sometimes (and I know this is bad), I will be sitting with a group of my friends (couples) and think "In the future, which half of you will be getting divorced?"


Yep! Or another question I ask myself a lot...."which of these people have had or will have an affair?" "If they have an affair will their spouse know about it?" Even, "which of these couples that act like life is perfect go home and have a miserable marriage?" 

I ask these questions every time I meet couples. I know one couple who are older and are absolutely in love with each other. I always admired their marriage and wondered how they made it last as long as they did. I asked about it one time and they said that if they would have married in today's society that they would have most likely divorced years ago. They went through about 10 years early in their marriage where they really didn't like each other.


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## aston

legiox said:


> I hope not. I will soon serve D papers on my stbxw early next year (thats what she wanted anyway, just walked out for no damn reason). I'm just afraid there will be a stigma attached to me when i begin dating again. I just don't want people say... "oh hes divorced" he must be bad or something.


Yes there definitely is. Consider the events you stop getting invited to...parties and some social events.


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## Jellybeans

Aston, I get invited to a LOT of parties and social events. Sometimes too many. So it's not that. 

Legiox... if you are afraid someone will not wanna date you because you are divorced then good riddance. That is one less person you need to worry about. 7 billion people on this beautiful Planet Earth... 1 person doesn't mean jack.


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## BeachGuy

Once I started having marital problems and talking to people and reading online...I was blown away how many people are in unhappy marriages and considering or getting divorced.

With a 50% divorce rate, I don't see how it can carry a stigma anymore.


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## aston

Jellybeans said:


> Aston, I get invited to a LOT of parties and social events. Sometimes too many. So it's not that.
> 
> Legiox... if you are afraid someone will not wanna date you because you are divorced then good riddance. That is one less person you need to worry about. 7 billion people on this beautiful Planet Earth... 1 person doesn't mean jack.


You could get invited to ALOT of parties but I'm not talking about just any party. Family, maried, circle of "couple" parties etc.....for most divorcees those shrink a bit.


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## Jellybeans

I guess I've had the opposite experience of you. When freshly separted/divborced, I was invited to/attended more weddings than I have in my entire life. There was one time where there were literally 3 weddings in 3 weeks. I was CRAZY. It was kind of funnyl.


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## aston

Jellybeans said:


> I guess I've had the opposite experience of you. When freshly separted/divborced, I was invited to/attended more weddings than I have in my entire life. There was one time where there were literally 3 weddings in 3 weeks. I was CRAZY. It was kind of funnyl.


LOL no I just think you sought out more weddings being newly single  :rofl::smthumbup:


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## Jellybeans

Hehe no hell no. I was SO anti-marriage/dating/men (for me personally) at that point which made the entire thing even funnier.


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## aston

Jellybeans said:


> Hehe no hell no. I was SO anti-marriage/dating/men (for me personally) at that point which made the entire thing even funnier.


yea yea so you just went for the free drinks and dancing?:rofl::scratchhead:


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## Jellybeans

Shhh... tell no one

Kidding


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## AwwSnail

I think it really depends on the groups. Some are way open arms while others hold their distance. 

As far as dating, if someone doesn't want to date you because you are divorced then its good that they are open about it. I'd rather not date someone who holds that opinion anyway, it would be more hurtful to be dating that person then have them build resentment throughout because they were trying to give you the benefit of the doubt, but really they don't want a divorced person as a partner.... does that make sense? I hope I explained that well.


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