# Should I pull a 180? Not sure if my situation needs it.



## confused801 (Aug 8, 2014)

I'll have to post a short version since I'm at work. And not sure if I'm breaking the rules but this is my 2nd thread yet it is asking a more specific question on the same topic. Sorry in advance if so.

My wife is just not that into me. She has never really been intimate, thats just not her thing. Even with previous boyfriends it been the same.

She has recently said things to me like "we dont have that natural chemistry" She told my mother that famous saying "ILYBINILWU". All in all Im not happy and I've been letting this tear away at me slowly over the years. I told her I was going to leave if things did not change (We have two children 5 and 7) 

She has not repsonded the way I wanted her to with the threat of actuyally ending this. In fact its kind of back fired. She is not cheating. I have one last number to check but I'm telling you she hides nothing from me. She's just not that into sex and has always done it with me for me and not her. She does not orgasm nor try nor has ever tried. She is uncomfortable kissing and has been since. We are going to councsling Wednesday but in the meantime I have had a VERY hard time coming to grips with all this rejection. Hurts really bad. I read up on the 180 and wanted to ask the community if this is a good thing for me. We currently live together and sleep together. She is trying to ast as if everything is fine yet I cant shake the things she has told me ......like sex being uncomfortable witrh me. Anyways, This 180 read has been the best thing for my brain in a week.. Got back in the gym today, went ad bought some supliments to start really getting back into shape. ( Im in pretty good shape already) 
I will be happy to provide more details but must go now.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

My advice... Look into the "Married Man's Sex Life Primer", and "No More mr. Nice Guy"...

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Bobby5000 (Oct 19, 2011)

180 makes sense to me.


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## jerry123 (Apr 9, 2012)

It's not a quick fix. Since you say you're in pretty good shape, what's your rank on a scale of 1-10. What's her rank?
Be honest. 

One week at gym won't get her jumping your bones. It's a mixture of a fit body and attitude.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Happilymarried25 (Mar 19, 2014)

I'm not sure how ignoring her and living your own life is going to get her to be more attracted to you. It's more likely to make her want to be less intimate with you, lead to divorce and then you are seeing your children on the weekends.


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## jerry123 (Apr 9, 2012)

Just like it is for a woman or a man, attraction is looks and attitude. If you see a victoria secrets as with beautiful women in those outfits you are attracted. Women see brad Pitt and swoon over him. 

Become Brad Pitt, well that's not possible but become a version of him. 

MMSLP is a guide on becoming the husband who's wife gets attracted to. It's not a guarantee but in the end it makes you a better man the next woman you meet can't wait to have sex with you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BostonBruins32 (Nov 2, 2013)

180 yourself. MMSL is a good read with some good pointers. 

Basically you need to be the best man you can, and if she doesnt come around, then you have a decision to make: be the best man for her or be the best man with someone else.

i always encourage men to button up improvement on themselves before they really call it quits on a marriage. 
I'm sort of in the same boat, but already deeper into a 180. The good, she seems to be improving and more importantly I feel 150% better about myself, regardless of my wife. The bad, it can build resentment when you dont see her make attempts to improve or change while you are.


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## BostonBruins32 (Nov 2, 2013)

Lila,

I think the 180 can be a tool to help you prepare for life without your spouse. It's also used as a self improvement/independence tool, which in return can trigger something in your current spouse. 

Either way, self improvement is always the answer for issues. 

And to your point: those issues that the OP had with pills and booze and etc put this thread in a different light. Remember, the whole story helps, people!


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