# Changing wife



## Ribber (Aug 19, 2011)

Ok here is the back story. The same week we are moving in together she goes out with her friends. She blacks out and cheats on me. The lies she stated about the events of the night were so unbelievable it was sad to hear them. I asked her to her face did she cheat on me. She looked me in the eyes and said no. 
I took her word for it. Months later we get engaged then a short time later she becomes pregnant. About 3 months into her pregnancy i found out that she had cheated on me. She lied about it again saying she did nothing wrong and to stop bring it up. I then confronted her with prof that she had. She then said she did not remember what happened she was black out drunk. Then admitted to hanging out with her ex-boyfriend all night. I was crushed. I trusted her when my gut said not to. I had fate in who she was as a person. When talking about how to go about healing she was very combative. No transparency no building of trust. At that point I just had to look at the situation and ask my self is this the same girl that did these things all those months ago. She is now going to be a mother and my wife. I trusted in what that meant to her and just buried it. Now that we are married about 3 months and our child is now 1. She is no longer breast feeding. We went out to see a friend of hers out of town had my parents watch the little one. That night i saw some of the same things i saw in the old girl that cheated on me. A selfish desire to have fun without regard for her husband. I went out with her and was not feeling well. I stayed out to 3:45 we closed the bars and got food. On our way walking back to our hotel I asked if we could just go back and go to sleep. She said she was not ready to go to sleep yet. I was blow away... I went back to the room alone.. after about 10 min i felt bad for being a bummer on one of the few nights she has gotten to go out so i text her where was she so i could meet up with her ( i had the liqueur) My plan was to take a couple shoots and at the state of the group the party would be over. She took it as me trying to control her again. We ended the night about 5 min after that taking one more shot . The next day I asked her to talk about the past nights events, she refused. She said i did not cheat on you there is nothing to talk about. Also some of the same lines she used back when she did cheat on me. This only made me worry more. I tried a few more times to talk about it only to meet with pure anger from her. So i saw her phone upstairs and i decided to try to find out what was going on. I looked not at her text msg's but at her browser history. I found that she was on websites much like this trying to find out if it was friendship or love. At this point i was just destroyed. We are only married 2.5 months at this point and she thinks she may not love me. 

From this point my emotion took over. I blew up (very wrong) but I did it and i am not proud of it. I said mean things to her trying to get her to be as upset as i was. She told me i was a non-existent father and that there was no love in our relationship. and walked out with my daughter telling me she was going home to her parents for a couple days. 

At this point my mind was just not even there. I had no idea if my wife was coming back. I asked her if when she was coming back was she coming to get her stuff or to stay. She said she did not know. 

Super daddy protection mode kicked in. Then the couple days passed and she said she would be back at the end of the week. At this point i felt like i was lied to and i did not know if i could believe the fact she was returning with my child. I decided with the pushing of my parents to look into my rights so i went to see a lawyer. I am a very upfront honest person so i told my wife what i did. I was really struggling with what was happening. I was becoming irrational. I did not want to get a separation but that was the only way i could insures that i would be able to see my daughter if she had a change of heart.

We talked on the phone the next day. It did not go well. her saying she does not know if we could work it out. Acting like she did not give a care in the world if she ever saw me again. Then on Thursday after noon i had the meeting with the lawyer to file the paper work for separation. I called her before trying to get re assurance that she was coming home. She never gave it. I tried to come up with other solutions she just told me i was being crazy. I go to the lawyer and break down. I had a panic attack in the office as the lawyer filled out the paper work. I took a picture and sent it to my wife. To show her i was struggling. She took this as being mean and now i see that. I ended up just walking out on the lawyer i could not finish my paper work I love my wife and wanted it to work out. I would just have to trust she would return. 
Basically since then Has in some form went drinking with her friends One friend in particular a single male. Once in her drive way for a few ours with a baby monitor for the baby. The next weekend she had her mom watch her while she was away from home so she could go out to the club. Now its the 3rd weekend and she is wanting to go out in our town again. With that same friend. She told me the plan is to go out down town and crash at a house down town. I told her that this was not ok. Your a wife and mom crashing on couches is for single college girls not moms and wife's. 

Am i crazy?


----------

