# fight during sex



## joseermando (Jun 4, 2012)

me and my wife have been married for 4 years. We don't have sex frequently maybe once every 2-3 weeks. We tend to have some fights during sex (all in foreplay) which will result in aborting the mission.

My wife is the one who starts the fight, but she is always blaming me of making her angry by doing something she doesn't like, or by not doing anything interesting. 

Many times she ask me "why did you stop?" and I reply that I didn't stop, then she insists that I stopped reacting with her, and that will turn her off. which means I have to start everything from the beginning.

I don't know... is it normal to have a fight like that? any advice on how to fix this issue? thanks


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## River1977 (Oct 25, 2010)

I am really trying to understand, envision, and make sense of what you said. Did you stop or not? If you didn't, how can she say you stopped if you didn't stop? Please explain better because this doesn't make sense to me. I know I can be a very black & white person, but I am trying to understand how one person says things stopped, and the other person says things are still going. 

What is her complaint exactly?
What are you doing or not doing when she says you stopped?
If you are still doing whatever it is, how is it she thinks you stopped if you are still doing it?


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## The Renegade (May 16, 2012)

"Why did you stop?" 
"I have my reasons ... Ask me that again and I seriously have to punish you, baby." ... and keep doing what you're doing.

My take: Sex is not the right time for serious discussions. Ignore her words, put on a sly smile and play with that girl. (Soon it might become more frequent again as well).


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

joseermando said:


> My wife is the one who starts the fight, but she is always blaming me of making her angry by doing something she doesn't like, or by not doing anything interesting.


Now do you literally mean fights? Or... rough foreplay?


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

sounds like she is trying to get out of the monthly sex session


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

You will need to look elsewhere in your relationship for why she is avoiding sex with you.


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## seesah (Apr 26, 2012)

joseermando said:


> me and my wife have been married for 4 years. We don't have sex frequently maybe once every 2-3 weeks. We tend to have some fights during sex (all in foreplay) which will result in aborting the mission.
> 
> My wife is the one who starts the fight, but she is always blaming me of making her angry by doing something she doesn't like, or by not doing anything interesting.
> 
> ...


Do you think maybe she just doesn't feel heard otherwise so she brings it up when she thinks you'll be more likely to listen to her?


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## joseermando (Jun 4, 2012)

River1977 said:


> I am really trying to understand, envision, and make sense of what you said. Did you stop or not? If you didn't, how can she say you stopped if you didn't stop? Please explain better because this doesn't make sense to me. I know I can be a very black & white person, but I am trying to understand how one person says things stopped, and the other person says things are still going.
> 
> What is her complaint exactly?
> What are you doing or not doing when she says you stopped?
> If you are still doing whatever it is, how is it she thinks you stopped if you are still doing it?


Well I think we have something like different rhythm. I tend to approach her slowly, it is just my nature. Usually she is passive and we are enjoying until she is turned on, then she start to move & react quickly.

I guess I cannot follow and react at the same rhythm, that's why she thinks I stopped. That's my guessing of what is really happening. If I really have to stop, it will be for few seconds just to calm myself down (to prevent ejaculation). I do have to stop sometimes when my arousal is at peak.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

joseermando said:


> Well I think we have something like different rhythm. I tend to approach her slowly, it is just my nature. Usually she is passive and we are enjoying until she is turned on, then she start to move & react quickly.
> 
> I guess I cannot follow and react at the same rhythm, that's why she thinks I stopped. That's my guessing of what is really happening. If I really have to stop, it will be for few seconds just to calm myself down (to prevent ejaculation). I do have to stop sometimes when my arousal is at peak.


You need to tell her this. She needs to know exactly why you are stopping. If you did have sex more frequently, this wouldn't happen. I mean frequent, like 4-5 days of the week or so. She is probably does not like when you stop because what your doing in the moment is working her up to orgasm and killing the moment. It's difficult and frustrating when changing rhythms or positions too frequently. Let her take the lead. I know it's hard for you due to absence. Telling her why and being honest is key.

If you two were more emotionally connected to one another, you'd be having sex more frequently and the arguments during these precious times should stop.


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## geek down (May 10, 2012)

My wife used to 'stop' all the time during sex or foreplay.. I'd ask her why she stopped and she'd further stop to tell me she is not stopping..while she stops more. I ask her please dont stop, and guess what? she'd stop to yell at me telling me she didn't stop..

She'd start to give me a BJ and every single time she'd insist on stopping when i was about to climax. this would ruin the feeling and ruin the experience. what made it worse is she would yell and scream that she's not stopping..as she's stopping..


It's quite possible the reverse is happening here..


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Poster girl for High Maintenance.


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