# Bad Times



## Oj2008 (Dec 16, 2009)

My wife and I have been married for nine years. I am a 45 year old professional who is not working because of the economy. My wife does not work because it embarrasses her to have to work when she is married to a professional. We have one child, an 8 year old daughter. My wife tries to control every aspect of her life and when she rebels, then it becomes a screaming match between them with me caught in the middle. My wife has told our daughter that she is very bad, she tells me that I am very bad because I won't jump in and scream at our daughter for the smallest infraction (ex:wearing plaid pants with polka dot shirt). She has threatened to leave on several occasions. I'm not sure what to do about this.


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## artieb (Nov 11, 2009)

Your wife should read something like _How to Talk So Your Children Will Listen and Listen So Your Children Will Talk_.

As awful as it is, you might want to think about what moves you will need to make if your wife leaves you, about childcare and living arrangements and so on.


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## MerryMerry (Dec 6, 2009)

Our family counselor gave us some "rules of communication" we're trying to employ and on the top of the list was "No Yelling." It's been very hard to do, and I'm the only one not yelling, but at least I'm keeping my side of the street clean. I wouldn't reinforce your wife's bad behavior. If someone is yelling, and you join the situation by just calmly talking, they will start to slowly come down to your level if you stay with it. I've tried this. It takes two to argue...so don't let her control the way you communicate. Plus, you sound like me and my H..at home all day with each other (he works from home and I'm a homemaker) will drive anybody crazy!


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