# Possible sex addiction of my husband - resources needed



## rasana (Feb 6, 2013)

I am wondering if it is possible my husband is addicted to sex. He has a very high sex drive, and the past year has been almost impossible for me. 

Last year he had an affair, contacted and went to a happy massage place (or maybe a prostitute, I do not know), and was actively looking for more occasion - online and even asking his old students/friends. most of them turned him down and I think only one agreed. The recent episode happened after our child was born (just 1-2 weeks) and lasted around 2-4 months. 

He had another episode, just after we got married, but if anything happened, it was an escort, not an affair. He called her but I am not sure if he went there. At that time I believed him he did not. He only confessed to one time at a 'massage' place in early 2012.

Other than that I am not sure, but once a while I see him checking these websites with escorts, or online hookups, and it seems every time something major happens in his life, he turns to this route. He told me himself that when he is not stressed (especially in marriage), things are fine and he does not look there. I do not even know if to believe that but it does make sense to me! I was monitoring his emails and google history before and this checks out (I am not doing it recently - I promised).

I want to believe him. He is a religious man and we never had STDs or any other problems. I was his first lover, or so he said, he was mine. We have satisfying sex life, until last year when the affair hit me hard. However, I have always suspected that he has a problem with the sex addiction. 

What can I do? How to find out if he has it?

We do counseling for couples but it has not come up and he does not really want to talk about sex there at all. 

Please, help me with your advice!


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

My husband is a sex addict and he attends a 12 step group. There's several, you can have a look here

12 Step Programs | Sex Addiction Treatment Center | Porn Addiction Rehab | Sexual Recovery | Los Angeles CA

Patrick Carnes also writes great books about sex and porn addiction
Gentle Path Press/IITAP, LLC. :: Authors :: Patrick Carnes, Ph.D., C.A.S, CSAT

and his wife writes for the spouse
Mending a Shattered Heart: A Guide for Partners of Sex Addicts: Amazon.ca: Stefanie Carnes: Books

You can also find a certified sex addiction therapist (CSAT) here. *THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT.* Almost all regular therapists have NO clue what to do with a sex addict. My husband had one who just made it worse.
Sex Addiction Therapists, Certified Sex Addiction Therapists, Sex Addict Therapists

And this book for spouses is a must-read
Your Sexually Addicted Spouse


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

The NUMBER ONE thing you must do is find a CSAT and go, both of you. It will NOT be fun for either of you, but if you have any hope, it lies there.


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## rasana (Feb 6, 2013)

Hope1964 said:


> You can also find a certified sex addiction therapist (CSAT) here. *THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT.* Almost all regular therapists have NO clue what to do with a sex addict. My husband had one who just made it worse.


Unfortunately I see there are no therapists in my area at all 

Thank you so much for this!


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