# Idk,



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

Seriosuly, is it normal for men to close his eyes and completely exclude the woman during sex?

Im so sorry. I dont want to look like an attention wh0r€ and stuff but i dont have anyone to ask this kind of weird stuff. Trust me, if i had anyone to ask i would have!!! But whatever... 

Is it normal to feel excluded like im having sex with a wall who doesnt listen, doesnt touch, doesnt help AT ALL to reach an orgasm neither care about it and DOESNT LOOK AT ME?

I want to know about this "look" part. 

IS-IT-NORMAL?

Background: late bloomer started having sex days before my 23th birthday and only with one man until today (im 30).


----------



## hubbyintrubby (Jul 5, 2019)

Do you know for sure that he's doing that on purpose? Sometimes we close our eyes to focus on the sensations, feelings, etc.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

No.


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

Hubbyintrubby

No, i dont think its on purpose. Or i dont know. He doesnt hate me or stuff, is not that.

But ask for a bj with closed eyes, tell me to stay in that position, i have to put inside bc he doesnt like to touch my south areas, no kiss, no touch, nothing for me, thank you, its over after a long boring time, and then ask for a towell and a cup of water.

But the thing is IM NOT LOOKED AT.

By actions i dont even seem to be there. Could change me for a doll whatever. But no LOOK?

He is definitely NOT the most sensitive man haha

But is a normal guy.

When i ask stufd about it he tries to escape by all means. He is japanese descendent and i sometimes think he is not open because of this. Whatever it is, whatever... Who cares.

Sorry, i dont know. Just the "look me$ part, i feel so disconected. Even in the beginig when it was all new awesome stuff i still felt alone.


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

Is not a self esteem problem!!!


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

If he has traditional Japanese values, women are less than men and are to serve their men with no expectation of reciprocation.

He doesn't do oral on you?


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

ConanHub said:


> No.


Do you know anything i could do?

Or cant i?!

Can you imagine why a man would do this?

Need more background to answer?


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

ConanHub said:


> If he has traditional Japanese values, women are less than men and are to serve their men with no expectation of reciprocation.


NOT-AT-ALL! He doesnt even know this. I know way more about japanese culture than he does.



ConanHub said:


> He doesn't do oral on you?


Never. (I asked a lot, and he even admited to have done it before with an ex and that is not his stuff). But he doesnt "touch" me at all either. No hand, no nothing. As if i had to be in the mood just bc he is. He kinda got used to it bc in the beggining with the neewness i was in the mood just bc he was, but its been years that it doesnt happen.

We even have bad moments with him doing it dry and i sometimes give up. And i give up bc he wants his prefered position forever, wich is a position that doesnt do anything for me.

But not looking? 

NEVER LOOKING AT ME?

WHAT THE FVVVCK?!

Im getting resentfull.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I would too. It is unacceptable and beyond ridiculous that he doesn't touch you, look at you or do oral.

I wouldn't have put up with it for a week much less years.

I'm trying to control my ire because I am angry for you.


----------



## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

I'm guilty of not looking/having little to no eye contact during sex, but no, it's not normal. 

With everything else you mentioned here, he sounds incredibly selfish. 

Have you _calmly_ talked to him about this? Being angry during the conversation will just make him defensive. You want to avoid saying things like "You never..." or "You always..." that will make anyone defensive. It's a good time to work on your "I feel" statements... "I feel... when you... because...". 

Depending on the rest of your relationship, a sex therapist is also an option.


----------



## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Sounds like a horrible lover. Honestly I would let him know he needs to get his game together.


----------



## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

I’m sorry, that sounds horrible. I hope it’s not normal, and certainly it’s not that way for us.

What, if anything, do you get out of sex with him?


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

You are not having sex with a partner. You are servicing a street sign.


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

A lot of time my wife doesn't look at me when we have sex. Otherwise she's involved while we are engaged in coitus. Normally she does this because she's trying to concentrate. Your guy, OTOH, is a terrible lover. Having his eyes closed is the least of your concerns if he basically refuses to explore your nether regions with hands let alone by tongue. I hope PIV alone is enough for you to orgasm. Hell, he's missing out on a lot of very fun sex!


----------



## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

bobert said:


> I'm guilty of not looking/having little to no eye contact during sex, but no, it's not normal.
> 
> With everything else you mentioned here, he sounds incredibly selfish.
> 
> ...


@moon7 i'm going to double down on what Bobert said and add that you should do this in front of someone who can keep the tone down, so that the concerns are addressed, and not escalate.

That said, short of an open relationship where your needs get met as well, if he won't do better by you, it may be time to leave.


----------



## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

moon7 said:


> Seriosuly, is it normal for men to close his eyes and completely exclude the woman during sex?


It is possible that his sexuality was severely shamed growing up. An example might be that he discovered porn at an early age, got caught by his parents/siblings/peers and was harshly punished/humiliated. As a result he may not want to be seen enjoying things sexually or have difficulty allowing himself to enjoy things.

I could be wrong, but I remember growing up and high school boys were incredibly cruel about hazing peers and creating sexually humiliating gossip. Take an upstanding quarterback on the football team with good values that would say watching porn was a sin. A year later he would allegedly become a porn addict and everyone would make fun of him nonstop.


----------



## Deguello (Apr 3, 2015)

I love going down,the smell taste,she however does not return the favor,so as much as I like to go down,I've backed off. But I digress. Why would you not go down?


----------

