# I have never been so sad



## jules 46 (Jan 12, 2012)

Hi everyone.Im not happy to be on here at all that i can tell you...My story is this my husband left our home on the 29th and didn't return.He had been getting on really strange for about 6 weeks before christmas less money going in our acc,he is self employed.
Leaving for work early coming home later.Walking our dogs for longer periods of time,when usually he couldn't get around to it as he was tired.He also got a text in the middle of the night well12.00pm not that late really wen i asked who it was he said it wasn't intended for him,next morning when i said let me see that text he had deleted it,said he was cross and was afraid of ringing the person and giving them a telling of.
but anyway on boxing day he took of with the dogs for 3 hours and i was cross as we always have a drink that day as christmas day is so hectic we don't so boxing day is our day...
He walked the dogs again that evening in the rain for hour and half.To cut to it he has said he's not happy and didn't want to be here anymore we have been married for 12 years and together 14.We have no children together but he raised all my kids as if they where his own.They are 25,21,16.
9 years ago i found out he was seeing someone else and he left and got his own place and she sort off moved in with him.
I begged and begged him to come home and work things out as i blamed myself somewhat for him feeling unloved maybe.He is so so good to me i wanted for nothing neither did my kids before the last incident and this time.We had a wonderful christmas day i knew something was up but i didn't for one minute think things where so bad.
I feel i have taken him for granted and I'm so sad without him.
I have told him how i feel but he has said he's had to much.
He's says he knows I'm hurt and angry but that there is no easy or good way of doing this...
We have 9 dogs 5 chihuahuas a german shepard a staffordshire bull terrier and two engliish bull terriers,i keep them all for first week but he has now taken the 2 bull terriers and the german shepard.We got 3 of the chihuahuas in the last year,if he felt like this why did he get them together.Things weren't perfect in our marriage but i think they could have been fixed.

He done everything for me i didn't go out without him he brought shopping hm from work and generally spoiled me rotten.We did things together and laughed don't get me wrong but i depended on him so much,and thought we would grow old together.
He has given me our car as he said he bought it for me 4 years ago when i passed my driving test so i could have it.
Its been 2 weeks nearly and I'm getting no better i can't eat,sleep or function to be honest,my kids think i should be getting better as he has done wrong they don't really understand i think.
He said wen all the walks and texts ect that there was no one else but i know in the pit of my stomach there is.He hates being alone.
And its all so much like the time before.
Anyway thanks for listening i hope this post makes sense to you.Im in turmoil i have no friends as he was my only friend I'm lost and lonely.A couple of friends i do have though didn't see much off have been texting and been great but I'm sure they are fed up with my sadness.......


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Find the OW and expose her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## unsureoffuture (Jan 1, 2012)

Jules 46,
My wife of 29 yrs. wanted a separation so she could "date" other men. The best advice I was given was to "let her go".
I have, directed all my attention to myself, mentally & physically. Join the gym, take walks outdoors, read self-help books and mainly write a daily journal. Focus on YOURSELF!!
You are worth it, do not give him to satisfaction of you begging.
You are building up his ego and putting yourself down. STOP IT RIGHT NOW! No more self pity, pick yourself up and enjoy YOUR life not his.


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## CarolAnn (Jan 5, 2012)

It sounds as if you have let yourself become completely physically and emotionally dependent upon him for your own happiness. Why not start thinking of yourself instead of him and the other woman, and him walking out, and him, him, him! Now that you have a driver's license and a car, why not take control of your life and do things for yourself? I think you'd be happier making small accomplishments, rather than obsessing on everything HE has done.


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## coffee shop (Jun 6, 2011)

Stay busy and focus on your children, old and new friends and what you like. Take walks and be active. Keep you mind off of him and maybe even take on a new project or learn a new skill.


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## jules 46 (Jan 12, 2012)

Thankyou everyone.I really am worried as to how I'm so down.The doctor has given me anti depressants and beta blockers for anxciety i feel I'm going mad.I liked my life and i didn't want it to change,but now i have all these decisions to make alone.I have had a broken heart before but never like this....He treated me so well and i can't help but blame myself for taking him for granted.i feel iam going to be on my own for ever,and i so don't want that.


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## unsureoffuture (Jan 1, 2012)

jules 46, You have got to stop feeling sorry for yourself, which is not easy, but is do-able!! You have lost your self-esteem and self- confidence. You CAN get them back in a short period of time, I promise. This has not been easy for me either, I'm 50 yrs old and have never with another women in my life! I was devastated to say the least. GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE. Stop thinking and start doing... doing for yourself. I will continue supporting you and praying for you. Mainly, don't lose your faith and believe in yourself.


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