# Think i met my soul mate!!



## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

I met this girl on Eharmony about 2.5 weeks ago...We went on date and hit it off right away!! she is incredible..The relationship is moving really fast!!! She has already told me that she loves me, and i have said the same... She makes me feel like ive never felt before...i am soo happy with her...We are both so comfortable with each other, and she is very affectionate like i am.. I was married for 14 yrs, and never felt as good with my ex and i do with this girl... Most of my friends say, wow... that is moving way to fast, you just met her!!! Honestly i told give a **** what my friends think, i know how i feel. I guess i just wanted to see what everyone on here thought..is it really possible to date someone a short period of time, and be that much in love with each other in such a short period of time???? we are so happy together, and are inseparable!! At some point down the road im sure we will get married(we havent talked about that at all),but she is definetly my soul mate for sure....


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Your friends are correct. How long have you been single?


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

FishKing said:


> Most of my friends say, wow... that is moving way to fast, you just met her!!! Honestly i told give a **** what my friends think


Well, you might want to start giving a **** what they think. They just might be smarter than you at this particular moment.



FishKing said:


> .is it really possible to date someone a short period of time, and be that much in love with each other in such a short period of time????


Absolutely not.

When a relationship heats up so fast and emotions run so hot and heavy, it's out of balance. There's no gradual establishment of trust, and you really don't know the other person as well as you think you do.

As fast as it builds up, the quicker the whole thing can topple in one disasterous mess.

You want to give this thing the best chance to work? Then slow it down.

But you won't.


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## ne9907 (Jul 17, 2013)

I honestly hope you are not serious. 
Please detach yourself from the situation and read the post as if someone else had written it. 
If you are able to do that, you will probably see that it sounds borderline crazy.

It makes no sense. Please be careful!


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

Word of advice Fish King. Feelings are fickle. Could she be "The One"? Absolutely! Slow down and get to know her.


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## AlmostYoung (May 24, 2012)

Two and a half weeks and you haven't discussed marriage yet? What are you waiting for? LOL

Set your wedding date for 3 years or more from now and you'll be ok.


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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

I take you haven't argued yet. If it makes past the first doosey then you might have something. LOL 

Anyway, best of luck. I hope you are right.


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## NWCooper (Feb 19, 2013)

You might be right, she might be your soul mate. If she is, then slowing it don't won't make any difference, you will still end up together. If she (gasp) isn't, maybe slowing it down will stop your heartbreak from being as bad. So really by slowing it down, you won't be losing anything, and you will have all that time to make sure it is right.


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

I have to agree with both your friends and those here. What you are experiencing is now is euphoria brought on by a flood of feel good chemicals and everything about her seems perfect. Guess what ... she's not. She very well could be your perfect match but you barely know her at this point. Enjoy it but you need to spend a lot more time getting to know each other before you start drawing up plans in your head. When those chemicals subside, you need to like, trust and respect the person you are with. In the meantime, just enjoy the ride without getting too far ahead of yourself.


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## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)

Be careful.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

The faster you fall in love, the faster your heart gets broken, so slow down mate!

Don't screw it up now since you've finally found someone


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

I felt this way about my DH when we started dating. We did know each other for 2mths prior to dating though. We only left our engagement 6mths because we figured ppl would freak out if we got engaged after 3 weeks. We were married a year after we started dating. We basically lived together from day dot. My sister had a similar experience where she and her partner knew they were going to marry VERY early on.

A book called, "Getting the Love You Want" helped me understand how this was possible to fall in love so quickly, to be so incredibly sure of someone. It also helped me understand how and why things got really tough, and why we're still having low points now and then. I've been married 9 years. We still feel we are each others 'soulmates', but we are not naïve to think that it doesn't still take a lot of soul searching and personal growth to keep that feeling alive, because the very reason that we are so drawn to each other can potentially be the very reason we can cause each other a great deal of pain.


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## Forever Changed (Sep 18, 2012)

Slow down brother, as much as I want to say go for it. I can tell that you are really excited to meet this girl! And you sound so happy.

But bro, listen to what people are saying here. As much as I want it to work out for you, take it easy. Protect yourself and try, try to look at it from outside.

Good luck!


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

Not sure what people are so concerned about. We live, we love, we learn. Trying to stop someone from doing what their heart desires is futile, whether it's right or wrong, only time will tell.


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## WayUpNorth (Dec 14, 2013)

2.5 weeks you say?


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Ahh, the honeymoon stage, it's great isn't it? Enjoy it but keep your senses about you, you really don't know each other after just a few weeks. In the beginning it's all about discovery, it's emotional and physical lust, it's takes some time to settle the dust and then look at the important things, like day to day compatibility. 

Look at things like this, let's say one of your children approached you and introduced you to their "soul mate", someone they just met thru an internet site a few weeks ago, and they want your blessing to get married, what would you say?


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## Sanity (Mar 7, 2011)

Rule of thumb, It should always take longer to to pick your nose than to fall in love. 

2.5 weeks? You know nothing about this person.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sanity (Mar 7, 2011)

Have you at least done a background check on her?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sun Catcher (Dec 6, 2013)

I don't know how old you are FishKing, but I do think age has a good deal to do with weather you know or not the person is or is not "the one". Being older and having had more life experience helps a good deal.

I met my "the one" on the same dating site as you. I recommend said dating site as all matches I met were great and interesting people. It will only work if everyone has answered the questionnaire with total honesty about who they really are and what they are looking for, rather than who they think others will like and what they think they want in a partner. 

We met for coffee the first day and from the following day were inseparable. We started sleeping over at each other's houses at the end of the first week and we moved in together about 8 weeks later. Part of that was probably because we both had leases that were up and we both wanted to start fresh in a new place. That was just over 2 years ago and we will be getting married shortly. We were both mid 50's when we met.

We both knew the beginning was very fast and we kept repeating it to each other, but there was no way we could slow down. Initially I would go for month long visits to see my family, but last one was "the last one". I realized I just didn't want to be apart for that long. Well, now I am working again so don't have the luxury of one month vacations either. 

We have fought about a few things and worked through them. Remember we still needed to get to know one another, we had just met. Mostly just hard boundaries and misunderstandings. He was diagnosed with cancer not long after we moved in together and that was real hard and we went through hell until January 2013 when he was declared clean of all copies of cancer in his blood. This was after a stem cell transplant in the fall, but he still takes oral low dose chemo and probably will for the rest of his life. There is no cure for Multiple Myeloma, yet. 

I was told by family and friends that it was too fast, then to run away when he was diagnosed. Glad I didn't.

So, yes, I think it is possible she could be your soul mate, although from consensus here it is very rare. Still, it does happen.  Do a background check as suggested by Sanity, I always did those and listen carefully to what a person says, liars always trip up. If you think something may be wrong, even a silly little thing, then run. Never give a new acquaintance the benefit of doubt. 

Best of luck.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

FishKing said:


> I met this girl on Eharmony about 2.5 weeks ago...
> 
> Most of my friends say, wow... that is moving way to fast, you just met her!!!
> 
> *Honestly i told give a **** what my friends think, i know how i feel. I guess i just wanted to see what everyone on here thought*..is it really possible to date someone a short period of time, and be that much in love with each other in such a short period of time????


If you don't care what your friends, the people who know you think, why do you care what a bunch of internet strangers think? 

I am curious. 

Also, you say you are in love then you ask if it's possible to be in love. It sounds like you are confused.

Yes, you are moving at ludicrous speed. But it's your life. If you are happy and want to keep at it, then go go for it. If you want to slow down, then go for it. You posted a very similar thread a week ago, when you knew her for ten days.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/162849-been-dating.html


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

Like jellybeans said, it's your life. Even if you're just looking for advice, thoughts, or maybe validation, you'll do your own thing regardless. 

Personally, I think you're moving things along way too fast. This is all the ingredients of a potential love bomb, and believe me, they hurt with all the impact of a speeding train. I believe that real love can withstand the tests of patience and time, plus a gradual unveiling of a personality allows you to better digest the onion one layer at a time, rather than swallowing it whole.


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## Unique Username (Jul 6, 2013)

Take a long car-ride trip with her.

See how she acts around her parents and siblings.

How does she act around YOUR parents and siblings.

Either of you have kids? 

How do both of you relate to them?

Had a discussion about politics, religion, how your previous relationships ended? Finances? Life Goals? 

Love? Soul Mate?

This stage is called INFATUATION.

(how long have you been divorced? Have you figured out WHY your previous relationship ended and YOUR part in it? Have you done the self-discovery needed to make a healthy choice? Are you comparing her to your ex-spouse?)


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## Sanity (Mar 7, 2011)

Sun Catcher said:


> I was told by family and friends that it was too fast, then to run away when he was diagnosed. Glad I didn't.
> Best of luck.


That's awful. To leave person with cancer?


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## Sun Catcher (Dec 6, 2013)

Sanity said:


> That's awful. To leave person with cancer?


Don't worry, Sanity. It never occurred to me for a nano-second. We just hugged harder. Taking into account the family member who said this, I wasn't surprised. He has only ever been loyal to himself and it shows in his multiple marriages and relationships.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> If you don't care what your friends, the people who know you think, why do you care what a bunch of internet strangers think?.


Because he's hoping to get different answers.

He's probably reading this thread, and shaking his head, and thinking that nobody understands.


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## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

breeze said:


> Not sure what people are so concerned about. We live, we love, we learn. Trying to stop someone from doing what their heart desires is futile, whether it's right or wrong, only time will tell.


Nobody's telling him to dump her. They're saying that he doesn't know her well enough to know about being soulmates and to take some time. In other words "time will tell."


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Too fast, sorry....please slow down...I know it feels good but, just slow it down...


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## sh987 (Oct 10, 2013)

Was going to make a post about love chemicals, dopamine, etc, but have been beaten to the punch by others here. Stick a toe in the water, but don't dive in after 2.5 weeks.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

It may seem it's moving fast but, you feel what you feel. Plus, all you have done so far is say I love you. I would be more concerned if you were proposing to her or riding into the sunset. 

Enjoy it


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

if shes the one your soulmate ........

then she will still be around in 2.5weeks,2.5months,2.5years.


whats the rush? if she putting the rush on then most likley she a wolf in sheeps cloths.

I say take your time and put her through some $hit test.


love is blind!!!!!!! keep your eyes open


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

You feel how you feel, but only time will prove those feelings right - or wrong.

I was entirely sure about my wife after a few dates, but didn't rush into things. I had dated enough people and done enough introspection and relationship research to know who would be good for me, and she met all the criteria, and I *felt* she was ideal. Still it took at least 6 more months for that to be confirmed and for her to be equally sure. The relationship has easily passed the test of time, having recently passed the 14 year mark.

So, enjoy what you've found, but keep your brain in the loop.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

What exactly does 'slow down' entail? So many people seem to be advising him to do that, but what exactly do you mean? 

Is he supposed to spend less time with her? - how does that help him get to know her better?

Is he supposed to stop talking about her? - how does that help him process what's happening?

Is he supposed to pretend he isn't thinking things like 'soulmate' etc? - How does pretending the thought isn't there change the thought?

Is he supposed to back off, give her mixed signals - here's a guy who was so keen to spend time with her, now he's telling her he needs time to 'think' or starts saying 'we're going too fast' etc - really just sounds like a bit of a putz. If my DH had said that while we were dating, it's not respect I'd have been feeling for his seemingly 'sensible' approach... just being honest.


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## sh987 (Oct 10, 2013)

breeze said:


> What exactly does 'slow down' entail? So many people seem to be advising him to do that, but what exactly do you mean?
> 
> Is he supposed to spend less time with her? - how does that help him get to know her better?
> 
> ...


That's all VERY fair. I just wouldn't want to see him make a major decision (moving in together, propose, etc) this soon. By all means, there's nothing wrong with spending lots of time together, though.

That seems great to me.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

He is the one asking if it's too fast...in multiple threads so clearly he is questioning it
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## skype (Sep 25, 2013)

breeze:

Slowing down means not calling her his "soul mate" after 2 weeks.

It means getting to know her, to seeing what her character is, how she reacts to stress, how she handles conflict with him.

It means being aware that right now he is projecting what he thinks she is like, and allowing the time to discover her true personality.


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

Almost anybody can ACT perfect for 2.5 weeks.


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## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

Thound said:


> Your friends are correct. How long have you been single?


My divorce is almost finalized,been separated at the time from ex for 2 yrs, started dated about 9 months ago..


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## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

lenzi said:


> Well, you might want to start giving a **** what they think. They just might be smarter than you at this particular moment.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


i agree with you!! It has slowed down some, due to both our work schedules, i only see her right now on the weekends. So there is time apart..im not trying to rush into marriage or rush to move in together. im actually pretty smart, and wanna make sure things are right between us before we move any further


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## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

JustSomeGuyWho said:


> I have to agree with both your friends and those here. What you are experiencing is now is euphoria brought on by a flood of feel good chemicals and everything about her seems perfect. Guess what ... she's not. She very well could be your perfect match but you barely know her at this point. Enjoy it but you need to spend a lot more time getting to know each other before you start drawing up plans in your head. When those chemicals subside, you need to like, trust and respect the person you are with. In the meantime, just enjoy the ride without getting too far ahead of yourself.


i agree with ya, we are working on getting to know each other better..


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## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

Forever Changed said:


> Slow down brother, as much as I want to say go for it. I can tell that you are really excited to meet this girl! And you sound so happy.
> 
> But bro, listen to what people are saying here. As much as I want it to work out for you, take it easy. Protect yourself and try, try to look at it from outside.
> 
> Good luck!


i agree, i have got some great advice from people on this site, and yes i am very happy. For me im a little bit skeptical at times. For me it always seems with things that are going sooo good, they turn to ****, so i am being cautious...


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## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

Sanity said:


> Have you at least done a background check on her?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


a background check really??? shes not a serial killer..she has good values, and has her **** together,lol


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## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

Sun Catcher said:


> I don't know how old you are FishKing, but I do think age has a good deal to do with weather you know or not the person is or is not "the one". Being older and having had more life experience helps a good deal.
> 
> I met my "the one" on the same dating site as you. I recommend said dating site as all matches I met were great and interesting people. It will only work if everyone has answered the questionnaire with total honesty about who they really are and what they are looking for, rather than who they think others will like and what they think they want in a partner.
> 
> ...


i am 39 yrs old, and she is 36..i really never thought about a background check...i hear what everyone is saying on this site, i have dated other girls, and it didnt go great, but she is sooo different. its hard to describe how i feel!! Ive dated other girls and was all up side down and couldnt think and was all amp'd out on the girl.. This girl i feel really different, i mean im crazy about her, but im not freaking out i guess. I know she is not going anywhere, and were just taking it slow now..


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## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> If you don't care what your friends, the people who know you think, why do you care what a bunch of internet strangers think?
> 
> I am curious.
> 
> ...


my friends are very critical, and my family is too...just wanted other opinions.


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## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

mablenc said:


> It may seem it's moving fast but, you feel what you feel. Plus, all you have done so far is say I love you. I would be more concerned if you were proposing to her or riding into the sunset.
> 
> Enjoy it


im not going to propose to her,at least for now...im in no rush at all....maybe a good yr or so, well see


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## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

breeze said:


> What exactly does 'slow down' entail? So many people seem to be advising him to do that, but what exactly do you mean?
> 
> Is he supposed to spend less time with her? - how does that help him get to know her better?
> 
> ...


i agree with you.. i think people are saying dont jumped into anything crazy like marry her tomorrow, or move in together.....we are still getting to know each other, and things are great right now, so well see how it goes.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

FishKing said:


> i agree with you.. i think people are saying dont jumped into anything crazy like marry her tomorrow, or move in together.....we are still getting to know each other, and things are great right now, so well see how it goes.


There you go. Now your on track.


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## SadandAngry (Aug 24, 2012)

You never answered the most important questions. How did your marriage fall apart? Do you have a handle on what part you played in that? Did you really sort out who you are, on your own, what you like and want from life? Did you sort out your own issues, so you accept and love yourself? You shouldn't be looking for someone else to complete you, but just as someone to enjoy and share the things you like with.

The whole concept of a soulmate is just repellant to me at this point. That kind of language is often used by people who are in affairs. People who have their heads shoved so far up their asses, they don't realize they are destroying their families and throwing away years of commitment and sacrifice, often essentially for nothing. But they found their 'soul mate!', or so they really felt at the time. Brain chemicals are powerful influences on us, not always 'good' influences.

It's good to attempt to keep things in perspective, it's great that you're here asking the question. On some level you get the reality of the situation. On another level it feels so amazing when you make a connection with someone else. Just remember, a lot of it is your primitive biology at work, doing its best to propagate your genetics!


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## AlmostYoung (May 24, 2012)

SadandAngry said:


> You never answered the most important questions. How did your marriage fall apart? Do you have a handle on what part you played in that? Did you really sort out who you are, on your own, what you like and want from life? Did you sort out your own issues, so you accept and love yourself? You shouldn't be looking for someone else to complete you, but just as someone to enjoy and share the things you like with.
> 
> The whole concept of a soulmate is just repellant to me at this point. That kind of language is often used by people who are in affairs. People who have their heads shoved so far up their asses, they don't realize they are destroying their families and throwing away years of commitment and sacrifice, often essentially for nothing. But they found their 'soul mate!', or so they really felt at the time. Brain chemicals are powerful influences on us, not always 'good' influences.
> 
> It's good to attempt to keep things in perspective, it's great that you're here asking the question. On some level you get the reality of the situation. On another level it feels so amazing when you make a connection with someone else. Just remember, a lot of it is your primitive biology at work, doing its best to propagate your genetics!


Where's the hundred times like button when you need it?

I've seen first hand, many "soul mate" relationships go down in flames. And you are right... affair partners are almost always soul mates! Why? _Because that's what they're looking for._

Someone to "save them" from their loneliness, their bad marriage, their pain. I agree, we have to be whole people in love with ourselves _and_ our life, before we can enter into a successful long term relationship.

The heavens really didn't drop in your lap, the one and only person in the entire world you could be happy sharing your life with. 

It almost always works that way in the movies though! It seems we badly want to believe in soul mates, and other fairy tails like love at first sight.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

FishKing here's a thread for you to check out.

Boy meets girl, things move fast, they get married, have a kid and then guess what? His feelings rapidly fade, he isn't attracted to her and he wants a divorce.

It happens.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/consid...74-i-never-want-have-sex-my-wife-divorce.html

Yes, it says in his post that he was "never really smitten with her". But he's saying that AFTER the fact. Truth is, he probably felt just like you did in the early stages. Otherwise why get married and have a kid?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I'll surely agree with everyone on here who says this is WAY WAY WAY too fast to be throwing that word around... if you are still feeling this LOVE POTION as you are right now, still caught up in the whirlwind AFTER 18 months plus, in this the experts would say you have beaten the odds...but right now there is no way to tell if this is purely INFATUATION....or something that will be lasting and true.... Only TIME itself can reveal the depths of your feelings *and compatibility*...

So live it.. *be friends 1st and foremost*.. share everything.. be vulnerable with each other, discuss the past, the present, the future, your beliefs, your greatest dreams, share your deepest fears.... visit the good, the bad & the UGLY.... because believe me... .we all have SOME.. it is there... [email protected]#.. and learn how you both resolve conflict.. in this shows "the healthy" in your communication....










Though I want to say something... Before landing here on TAM, I never realized how many people felt such disdain for the term itself.... my husband has always called me his "soul mate" (it's not always about affair partners)... we've been together since I was 15 .....I love that he FEELS that way, it's not like I am going to correct him.. and when I read the meaning of the term, I can not deny I have always felt what it captures...even if I myself may argue against the concept of it (if that makes sense) --as I did in this thread *>>*

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/relati...out-being-soulmates-opinions-appreciated.html

*****In dating....

We all need *a lot of wisdom *...Take it slow .. a book like this.. could really open up the communication for learning our differences , what issues that might lie ahead....getting a good idea how we mesh...


> Intellectual Foreplay: A Book of Questions for Lovers and Lovers-to-Be: This solutions-oriented guide offers problem solving and behavior changing strategies for people working on their most intimate relationships. The book provides readers with:
> 
> Enhanced knowledge of their own and their partners' beliefs, values, habits, desires, goals, likes, and dislikes; ideas for opening communication and deepening a relationship; skills for making healthy decisions about lifestyles and boundaries; an in-depth understanding of the role of self-esteem in relationships; increased ability to let go of the past and embrace the present; and the knowledge that it is important not only to choose the right partner, but also to be the right partner.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

There is no better place for a people to see massive red flags when someone talks about being in love than on a forum full of divorced and unhappily married people.

Everything is filtered through your own perceptions before you even try to make sense of it. 

I imagine that someone who I've known who has been had for a great deal of money from a whirlwind romance would have a great deal to say about protecting yourself from someone who 'seems' to love you. For me, I just make the assumption that people won't do stuff like loaning a great deal of money to or buying property with someone they're not bound to by a great deal of time and experiences and/or a contract of marriage, because that's just common sense. So then when I see people scared of their own shadow when it comes to a new relationship, it seems it's all about being scared of the emotions.


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## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

SadandAngry said:


> You never answered the most important questions. How did your marriage fall apart? Do you have a handle on what part you played in that? Did you really sort out who you are, on your own, what you like and want from life? Did you sort out your own issues, so you accept and love yourself? You shouldn't be looking for someone else to complete you, but just as someone to enjoy and share the things you like with.
> 
> The whole concept of a soulmate is just repellant to me at this point. That kind of language is often used by people who are in affairs. People who have their heads shoved so far up their asses, they don't realize they are destroying their families and throwing away years of commitment and sacrifice, often essentially for nothing. But they found their 'soul mate!', or so they really felt at the time. Brain chemicals are powerful influences on us, not always 'good' influences.
> 
> ...


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

> *Fishking said*:
> My soon to be EX is 15 yrs older than me!!! At first was great than she changed,we just were not compatible any more.. We went through yrs of counseling,and in fact i still go for myself. im not looking for someone to complete me, i am very happy with who i am!! I dont know if you were burned in a past relationship or what, but you seem bitter!! I think it is possible to find a soulmate..im not desperate to grab onto someone,ive been alone before and can deal with it.. Dont know why u even mention affair, this doesnt apply to my case.. ive dated before this girl i met, so its not just about the connection with her...For me its very different with this girl, than any relationship ive ever been in in my 39 yrs on this earth. I do appreciate your feedback on this.


I think this is a balanced article - long as it may be.. it's written by the Author of "*Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus*"- taken from his website.. John Grey..

Soulmates: Myth or Reality? Most People Dream about Having a Soulmate...But Few Turn the Dream into a Reality

Some parts of the article.. 



> I figure this — that you don't just meet a "soulmate" and live happily ever after, like the myth that we all would prefer to believe says. Instead, I have observed that real world soulmates become that — by growing together in certain ways and working through challenges successfully — as contrasted with how many other couples get stuck in less fulfilling, impoverished relationships.
> 
> Putting this together, the following formula occurred to me:
> 
> ...


It talks about

*1. *Meeting Your Soulmate vs. Becoming Soulmates

*2*.The Honeymoon
Falling in Love is like a Spiritual Experience

*3.* Love is Not Enough

*4.* Finding a "Soulmate" is Not Enough

*5*. Deepening Love Beyond the Honeymoon - Lasting Soulmates are Not Passive

*6.* Soulmates Engage in Personal Growth

Love Brings Up Our Lesson Plan
*7*. Did We Learn to Do the Work of Relationship?

And ends with this..


> *8*. *How Do You Know if You Are True "Soulmates"?*
> 
> How Do You Know if You Are True "Soulmates"?
> 
> ...


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

I usually tell guys who think I'm their soulmate after one date to p*ss off. That usually solves the problem right there. They quickly realize that they must have been mistaken. Honestly, that is way too much pressure to put on a human being you just barely met. They have other things to do besides being a soulmate, like whatever they were doing right before it was discovered that they were your soul mate...

Just go on dates. See where it leads to. Don't be so focused on the outcome. And keep up with your normal, separate lives, whatever normal was for you...hopefully something stable and fulfilling in itself...


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## SadandAngry (Aug 24, 2012)

I'd think cynical would be the term when I'm in a bad mood, highly skeptical most of the time. Thinking you can just find a soulmate, the one person for you is, to be very blunt, stupid. It just is. I would go along with the ideas in the article Simply Amorous posted. Two people can work over time to build a deep, rich, meaningful relationship, but I'd say that could be any two people if they put in the effort. We are all replaceable, when it comes down to it. Anyone who says they couldn't go on if their S.O. was out of the picture doesn't have a healthy sense of self.

The reference to affair partners is just an example. I find it most typical that soulmate talk comes from people who have no business using the term. If you haven't got a long lasting, deep relationship, where the partners really know each other honestly and intimately (hopes, dreams, values, history, etc), then the hyperbole is just that. You know you're in trouble if you think "Oh no, not us, that bad stuff couldn't happen between us, we're special!"

Again, it's good that you ask the question. It's great that you have a healthy mindset. It's great that you met someone who is awesome. It isn't a bad thing though, to try keeping your feet on the ground. To resist getting swept up in the rush of emotions. You won't get burned if you take it easy, and you won't actually miss out on anything either. 

What is it that your friends and family say exactly? What are they concerned about?


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

hmmmm....


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

soul mate after 2.5 weeks? nah...
my wife and i married after three weeks, but it took several years before we could really say we were soul mates...

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/155073-love-marriage.html


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## helen84 (Jul 19, 2012)

Are you sure it's not some kinds of the passion? 
Do you understand what is soul mates?


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

FishKing said:


> I met this girl on Eharmony about 2.5 weeks ago...We went on date and hit it off right away!! she is incredible..The relationship is moving really fast!!! She has already told me that she loves me, and i have said the same... She makes me feel like ive never felt before...i am soo happy with her...We are both so comfortable with each other, and she is very affectionate like i am.. I was married for 14 yrs, and never felt as good with my ex and i do with this girl... Most of my friends say, wow... that is moving way to fast, you just met her!!! Honestly i told give a **** what my friends think, i know how i feel. I guess i just wanted to see what everyone on here thought..is it really possible to date someone a short period of time, and be that much in love with each other in such a short period of time???? we are so happy together, and are inseparable!! At some point down the road im sure we will get married(we havent talked about that at all),but she is definetly my soul mate for sure....


Everyone is very cynical here.

I hope it goes well. If she is your soul mate, she will still be your soul mate five years from now. You will want what is best for her, whether you are together or not. 

If you are excited, it is because you feel that there was something missing from you. Make sure you have that in place, so that if you are to be together, then you can give her a compete person. 

Enjoy the romance!


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

helen84 said:


> Are you sure it's not some kinds of the passion?
> Do you understand what is soul mates?


You ask that question like it was something that could have a definite answer, like, 'do you understand what 2+2 is?'. Tell me who here would have exactly the same understanding as the next person as to what a 'soul mate' was to them. Absolutely impossible. There can be no definite answer for what it is because each and every person will have a different idea of what love means to them because of each and every different experience they've ever had.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

A dude that tells a lady he loves her after 2.5 weeks is setting himself up to be a really really nice guy. In the bad way.

Good luck with the new relationship. Enjoy the infatuation stage. But remember that nothing that good lasts forever.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

sinnister said:


> A dude that tells a lady he loves her after 2.5 weeks is setting himself up to be a really really nice guy. In the bad way.


And on the other end of that, abusers are known to love-bomb early on. Proclaiming they are in love with someone very early in a relationship.


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