# The kids are really having a rough time of this....



## onemorethought (Oct 17, 2011)

Well we told the kids tonight that we are divorcing. We have no children together. He had 4 and I had two from previous relationships. 

We have been married 9 1/2 years and the kids are truly devastated. I don't know how to help them other than to comfort them and to assure them that we will all be okay. Hurting them is the hardest thing with all of this. I will miss my stepchildren very much. We have promised them that they can still see each other but it doesn't make it any easier for anyone.

Does anyone have any thoughts on how to help them cope?


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## lady1 (Jan 31, 2012)

They are going to be hurt by this, no matter what you do. I think the only thing you can really do is make sure they know that you both love them all, and that you really do intend to let all the kids see each other on a regular basis. After over 9 years, the children have no doubt all bonded with each other, and are as upset at loosing their sibling bonds and their step-parents. 

Also, try not to fight or say bad things about each other when in front of the kids. My parents got divorced, and what hurt the worst was hearing them talk bad about each other. And talk with them as open and honestly as appropriate for their ages. Not knowing what is going on, or what went wrong, is another thing children often have a hard time with during divorce. 

I hope it all works out.


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