# ugh... strippers...



## cory275 (Aug 11, 2011)

my hubs and i are on our anniversary trip in new orleans. i've been here once before in college but i think i was wayyyy too wasted to realize how many effin strip clubs are on bourbon street. 

i made the comment as we were walking, "damn.. there's a lot of strip clubs here"... and he literally commented 20 times about each joint. both on our side of the street and on the other side. "so that's a strip club?" "what if they dont have the posters... does that still mean its a strip club inside".. "let me go buy you a drink from that strip club"... my hubs is an immigrant and they dont really openly have such establishments in his country, but GEESUS. we've gone to vegas together and he wasnt this effing irritating. 

anyway.. i obviously snapped eventually... he asked me a question about one of the clubs and all i said was "i dunno".. so he walked way ahead of me until i said "ok, this is dumb..its not fun anymore.. lets just go back to the room.. i dont wanna talk about strippers all night on our anniversary trip" 

so night goes on.. today goes on.. and at dinner he said, "man, i thought you were going to take me to my frist strip club?"

yes.. there's some other things going on right now.. but the stripper obsession is ridiculous... right??? 

ps.. i'm not into the whole strip club thing (there's something about it that conflicts with my morals.. and getting stripper money at work makes me wanna PUKE... ugh the smell... ugh and the hair)... and my hubs said he wasnt into all that either when we first dated.. one of the things i really liked about him.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

It's probably 60/40 of the wives I know that aren't into this at all. There are a few neighbors, well 2 that go with hubbies to strip clubs, hooters, etc.

I think that's wierd, but whatever!! I hope it improves obviously he wants to go and has never been.


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## intrigid (May 21, 2012)

Frankly I think you both have some quirks. It's pretty dumb of him to go on and on about strip clubs. If he's never been to one then it would have been good if you went in to see what it was about. The fact that you have such negativity towards it demonstrates insecurity on your part, and that never helps in a relationship.


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## enoughisenough (Oct 30, 2011)

I don't see it as a quirk to not be ok with your husband going to a strip club - especially on an anniversary trip that should be about the two of you! I'm not ok with it either, he's never been to one, if he did he'd have a long dry spell ahead of him. I would expect him to be equally affronted if I went to a male strip show.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

intrigid said:


> Frankly I think you both have some quirks. It's pretty dumb of him to go on and on about strip clubs. If he's never been to one then it would have been good if you went in to see what it was about. The fact that you have such negativity towards it demonstrates insecurity on your part, and that never helps in a relationship.


Are you a male or a female?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Years ago, the closet place to hang out and have a drink was a place that had male waiters in g-strings. The waiters also did stripping/dancing.

One particular night a one of the guys took me out on a date and we ended up in this place. Well after our first drink he insisted that we leave. He was so disgusted with the almost naked waiters and the male dancers/strippers.

Now is a guy who had no problem with places with female strippers. None what-so-ever. His reaction had me laughing because one of his suggestions earlier in the date is that he take me to a strip club that had female strippers.

I would bet my bottom dollar that most men would not be willing to go to a place that had male strippers and dancers.


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

intrigid said:


> Frankly I think you both have some quirks. It's pretty dumb of him to go on and on about strip clubs. If he's never been to one then it would have been good if you went in to see what it was about. The fact that you have such negativity towards it demonstrates insecurity on your part, and that never helps in a relationship.


I disgaree.

There is nothing insecure about not liking strip clubs. To me that's very insulting. It says to women you have to be totally comfortable with your husband oggling other naked and semi naked women. Why?

To me it's perfectly natural for men and women to not want their spouse involved in something that treats sex and sexuality so casually and comes between husband and wife.

If either person feels uncomfortable about strip clubs then they should not be on the table.
It is childish and ridiculous and very un gentlemanly like of a man to speak like that and particularly on a trip for your anniversary.

I value sexual commitment and just because a man may pay to watch girls dancing naked, doesn't make it any less sleazy or wrong then in a one on one session, to me it represents the same thing.

And I'm confident enough to say so.


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## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

[I value sexual commitment ]-I also value it and by no means think that going to watch somebody taking off their clothes is cheating or talking about strip clubs should be a huge issues.

Why not just have fun with it instead of making it into some big over blown argument.Instead of getting an attitude when your husband said you could have taken him to see his first strippers,you could have went in the bathroom put on something sexy with some music playing and said something like, I wanted to make your first experience something special and wild which you would not have gotten there and you both would have remembered this with smiling faces for that anniversary.


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## enoughisenough (Oct 30, 2011)

dubbizle said:


> [I value sexual commitment ]-I also value it and by no means think that going to watch somebody taking off their clothes is cheating or talking about strip clubs should be a huge issues.
> 
> Why not just have fun with it instead of making it into some big over blown argument.Instead of getting an attitude when your husband said you could have taken him to see his first strippers,you could have went in the bathroom put on something sexy with some music playing and said something like, I wanted to make your first experience something special and wild which you would not have gotten there and you both would have remembered this with smiling faces for that anniversary.


I certainly wouldn't feel open to doing that if my husband had just been talking about his desire to go see other women taking off their clothes.


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## eowyn (Mar 22, 2012)

cory275 said:


> yes.. there's some other things going on right now.. but the stripper obsession is ridiculous... right???


Yes, It is ridiculous and understandably irritating on an anniversary weekend. Nothing insecure about feeling this way. Moreover since he initially told you he wasn't into all this and yet seemed so fascinated at the thought, and actually thought (rather hinted) that you take him to his first strip club. Really??? 

_My opinion in general about Strip Clubs:
_Strip club for Married Men = ****DISAPPROVE****
Strip clubs in general = Disapprove as well


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

dubbizle said:


> [I value sexual commitment ]-I also value it and by no means think that going to watch somebody taking off their clothes is cheating or talking about strip clubs should be a huge issues.
> 
> Why not just have fun with it instead of making it into some big over blown argument.Instead of getting an attitude when your husband said you could have taken him to see his first strippers,you could have went in the bathroom put on something sexy with some music playing and said something like, I wanted to make your first experience something special and wild which you would not have gotten there and you both would have remembered this with smiling faces for that anniversary.


I wonder if my boyfriend and I went on a romantic weekend away, if he would appreciate it if I kept talking about other men's penis's, hinted how I'd love him to take me to see some every five minutes and how comfortable he would feel if there was actually a male strip club on every corner. 

The OP's man sounds like a 14 year old boy.

Couples should focus on each other, they would probably have much more satisfying sex lives if they did. Imagine what would have happened if the OP's man flirted with her, focused on her and made her feel special and sexy. 

If it would be cheating to be in a room alone watching someone take off their clothes, it would be cheating even in a room full of others, paying for it just makes it worse IMO.


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## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

For me I might have just said to my wife if you are so curious about the male strip shows then get some tickets and lets go see what its all about [WHAT THE HELL]I happened to believe the more you try to demonize something the more curious the person is going to be.



The guys was obviously curious and maybe felt since he was in this wild spot he could drop his guard around his wife and she might want to play along since people sometimes lose their inhibitions away from home.What could have happened, they walk in, get a drink,her man sees its not all that after a drink and they walk out and share a good laugh.

I will agree when her saw her getting angry/upset then he should have just dropped it.

If this is cheating heaven help us.


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## Love Song (Jan 16, 2012)

I respect everyone's opinion here. 

I have gone out with my girls to a strip club. Why should I tell my husband no? It actually truly does not bother me if my husband were to go. We have had this discussion many times and he knows where I stand on it. If my husband wants to go to a strip club than that is fine by me. I trust my husband enough to know that he won't take things to far.


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## Love Song (Jan 16, 2012)

As for the OP I would be upset too if my husband brought up strip clubs in the way that he did on our anniversary. But I do think it says a lot that he wants to go with you.


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

Love Song said:


> I respect everyone's opinion here.
> 
> I have gone out with my girls to a strip club. Why should I tell my husband no? It actually truly does not bother me if my husband were to go. We have had this discussion many times and he knows where I stand on it. If my husband wants to go to a strip club than that is fine by me. I trust my husband enough to know that he won't take things to far.


I also trust my boyfriend, I trust him to act like a gentleman and to not do anything that may hurt my feelings or harm our relationship, regardless of if I am there or not.

I trust him not to oggle other women and treat them like sexual objects, to respect women and to keep the hot sexual stuff between the two of us.

Makes for an incredible sexual connection.


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## enoughisenough (Oct 30, 2011)

*LittleDeer* said:


> I also trust my boyfriend, I trust him to act like a gentleman and to not do anything that may hurt my feelings or harm our relationship, regardless of if I am there or not.
> 
> I trust him not to oggle other women and treat them like sexual objects, to respect women and to keep the hot sexual stuff between the two of us.
> 
> Makes for an incredible sexual connection.


:iagree:


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

> **LittleDeer* said*: I value sexual commitment and just because a man may pay to watch girls dancing naked, doesn't make it any less sleazy or wrong then in a one on one session, to me it represents the same thing.



I want to stick my head into this thread... and give MY / our experience....

Me & my husband greatly value sexual commitment .... We both count ourselves rather old fashioned compared to most on this forum.... me & my husband has only been with each other, and still.. when he was 45, after having never been to one (we were very conservative in our youth...and I was a bit repressed).... and after me going to see the Chippendales with some GF's ...when some friends invited us to a Gentleman's club...we went together..

My husband really enjoyed it....and I wanted to know the truth, I didn't want him to have to hide that from me... or sugar coat it ....he is a an exemplary husband in every way imaginable...I KNOW how he feels about me...been treating me like Gold since the day we met in our teens...... I never seen this as a threat to us in any way... Yes, it is entertainment wrapped around a little fantasy. Men like to look upon some variety.... if yours doesn't , he is a rare rare breed --or he is just hiding this fact from you. 

FOR US.... It didn't take anything away from our marraige, our commitment or how he feels about me. In fact, in our experience, it spiced it up a little! 

Just as you wouldn't want anyone judging you- for having an issue with this... I also would not want others judging MY marraige because we enjoyed it !! 

We went about 9 times over the span of 2 yrs....It was a WILD phase... and we have no regrets at all, we'd do it all again in a heartbeat ....it fizzled out as I knew it would.... even one of our good friends is now dating a Stripper from that club, he's been with her for over a year a half now. She no longer strips....and they may be getting married. 

We are not even the type who go to Bars, neither of us smoke, I have never drank, he only socially. BUt still it was some entertainment, I enjoyed watching them dance on those poles, seeing their outfits, they would come over & talk to us about thier lives. They especially enjoyed seing married couples come in. 

I used to judge those women in my youth, I was too religious minded... I am happy to say...I got to see another side to these women... they are real people, have real lives, most of them are making $$ for College and they have no interest in those men, I think most of them prefer dancing for the women accually. 

The Club we went too was more High class though, only air grinding and bouncers ready to take you out with even a touch from a man. I am sure some are very sleezy, I have not had that experience.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Mental Note: Do not go to Bourbon Street with H on our anniversary trip.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> *I used to judge those women in my youth, I was too religious minded... I am happy to say...I got to see another side to these women... they are real people, have real lives, most of them are making $$ for College and they have no interest in those men, I think most of them prefer dancing for the women accually.
> *


Sorry, SA, that sounds extremely naive and a touch too Pretty Woman!?! Maybe it's different in the US, but you'd be hard-pressed to find a stripper here up north that's actually finished high school, let alone putting herself through University. The reality is that many of them are drug users and borderline prostitutes; they have a high interest in 'those men' because it is those men who are paying them 10$ a song to get enough coke to numb themselves into thinking that what they're doing is a great way of life.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

CandieGirl said:


> Sorry, SA, that sounds extremely naive and a touch too Pretty Woman!?! Maybe it's different in the US, but you'd be hard-pressed to find a stripper here up north that's actually finished high school, let alone putting herself through University. The reality is that many of them are drug users and borderline prostitutes; they have a high interest in 'those men' because it is those men who are paying them 10$ a song to get enough coke to numb themselves into thinking that what they're doing is a great way of life.


It was a higher class place, it wasn't in the city either, like on a strip or anything...in fact a long stretch of country road, seemed very bizarre to be located there. The one our friend is dating was a Substitute school teacher in another town- saving to put her oldest son through college, she was 38 when they met there. 

One of my favorites was taking Psychology and my husbands favorite moved after she finished college. Maybe this is rare, you are probably right...I suppose they could be lying to us, but at least the lady our friend is seeing ....it was all true. We were just talking to him the other night at our house, she moved on & got a better job, he would never be with someone messed up like that! He is pretty respectable, he works for the Governement, not even a smoker. 

I don't for a minute think all Strip Clubs are created equal. We never cared to go to another one, this one had a reputation for being "couple friendly".... Rules had to be obeyed , or you was canned. IN fact they fired their Most saught after dancer on the spot for breaking one of the rules (she never touched the man, just herself I guess) ...a bouncer watches every move....we were a bit surprised being their biggest $$ maker, but impressed, because they hold tight to their rules. Which I feel is very necessary in an establishment like that. 

One of them was dancing to get money enough to pay for a divorce to get her & her 2 girls away from her abusive husband. I remember her quitting shortly after that.

I guess I don't feel you can judge every single girl as being addicted to something...maybe it's true in the bigger cities, I don't know, but it wasn't where we went. Seriosuly.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

I don't know, maybe I'm just biased, because my father was in the bar business for 30 years and I grew up seeing a lot of sh!t; I don't, judge these people, however. If that's the life they want, then fine. It's just not a pretty life (around here).


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

I think an anniversary is a special romantic occasion. Visiting a strip club isn't.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

CandieGirl said:


> I don't know, maybe I'm just biased, because my father was in the bar business for 30 years and I grew up seeing a lot of sh!t; I don't, judge these people, however. If that's the life they want, then fine. It's just not a pretty life (around here).


I think we are all biased due to something we grew up with...and I am sure you are so right in what you said even....the addictions, the sad lifestyle. No doubt.

The stripper who got fired, I heard about her story, she could have been a model, she danced beautifully, such confidence in every step...but that was on stage......it surprised me to learn how very low her self -esteem really was...a regular filled us in....he knew her better than anyone being her highest paying customer....she grew up without a father, just a hard hard upbringing, I can't remember it all now. 


I wouldn't want my daughter doing that lifestyle either (which likely makes me a hypocrite for enjoying such a thing)...but at the same time, do I want to judge women who choose to do it...if for paying off college or debts. Obviously drugs... this is so wrong, so messed up, so hopeless. 

Given how judgmental I used to be on things such as this... even thinking...well... if they get raped/stalked -they deserve it- by choosing a job like that.... Do you think I like to admit this....it's nasty! 

So for me...it was accually a GOOD thing to walk in there, get to sit side by side with some of these women, hear their stories, their hopes & dreams, we had some interesting conversations with some , we're talking 15 minutes at a time -at our table on some slower nights. 

It is one reason I have no regrets, I needed a little more understanding -instead of lumping a group of people into one box and storing it way....in judgement.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I think we are all biased due to something we grew up with...and I am sure you are so right in what you said even....the addictions, the sad lifestyle. No doubt.
> 
> *The stripper who got fired, I heard about her story, she could have been a model, she danced beautifully, such confidence in every step...but that was on stage......it surprised me to learn how very low her self -esteem really was...a regular filled us in....he knew her better than anyone being her highest paying customer....she grew up without a father, just a hard hard upbringing, I can't remember it all now. *
> 
> ...


I've got a friend who frequents the strip club near his home at least 2-3 times a week. He, too, pays these girls hundreds to just sit and talk and listen to their life stories, both real and made up. I'm sure they just love it when he walks in the door...READ: Sucker!

I've called him out on it many times, and every time, he insists that they're his friends, and he too knows them better than anyone...well, 2 summers ago, he held a big BBQ at his place and invited all his friends from the strip club, men and women alike. Not one showed up because there was no chance of being paid. I felt sorry for him.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

dubbizle said:


> [I value sexual commitment ]-I also value it and by no means think that going to watch somebody taking off their clothes is cheating or talking about strip clubs should be a huge issues.
> 
> Why not just have fun with it instead of making it into some big over blown argument.Instead of getting an attitude when your husband said you could have taken him to see his first strippers,you could have went in the bathroom put on something sexy with some music playing and said something like, I wanted to make your first experience something special and wild which you would not have gotten there and you both would have remembered this with smiling faces for that anniversary.


What a sad experience for a woman who does not herself want any part of this. I am afraid in this case the memories would be bad ones.

If she wanted to do this herself that is one thing. Otherwise it is degrading. He was a jerk for going on about it.


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## eowyn (Mar 22, 2012)

I am with littledeer on the general strip club topic... I agree that women (or men) should not be perceived as sexual objects. Sex or Sexual feelings should ideally come out of extreme feeling of love for your other half and should be something limited between a committed/married couple. But that is just my opinion and I wouldn't judge anyone who doesn't agree with this. Moreover I wouldn't judge the ladies who do this for a living. In most cases I would imagine they do it due to circumstances rather than choice, and it is actually sad for those who are compelled to select this line of profession. 

Irrespective of the general strip club topic, I sure do think that if OP encourages strip club activity to her H by actually taking him to a strip club, she would be opening a *big can of worms*! Looking at OP's post and her husband's immature comments and fascination about strip clubs I don't think it is a good idea for OP to encourage such things in their marriage. 

There would be very few couples such as SimplyAmorous & her H who might be able to take this in their stride, keep their feet on the ground and look objectively at such things. However that wouldn't normally be the case. I remember a post where a guy would go to the strip club, his gf was fine with that, and eventually he ended up having sex with one of the strippers. Who knows maybe his gf was the one to take him to a strip club for the first time.. at least she didn't object to this behavior. I think introducing (or tolerating) such things in a marriage is not only disrespectful but also like playing with fire. Most people already have enough issues in their marriage, and this would be a big one to add to the list.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

eowyn said:


> I am with littledeer on the general strip club topic... I agree that women (or men) should not be perceived as sexual objects. Sex or Sexual feelings should ideally come out of extreme feeling of love for your other half and should be something limited between a committed/married couple. But that is just my opinion and I wouldn't judge anyone who doesn't agree with this. Moreover I wouldn't judge the ladies who do this for a living. In most cases I would imagine they do it due to circumstances rather than choice, and it is actually sad for those who are compelled to select this line of profession.
> 
> Irrespective of the general strip club topic, I sure do think that if OP encourages strip club activity to her H by actually taking him to a strip club, she would be opening a *big can of worms*! Looking at OP's post and her husband's immature comments and fascination about strip clubs I don't think it is a good idea for OP to encourage such things in their marriage.
> 
> There would be very few couples such as SimplyAmorous & her H who might be able to take this in their stride, keep their feet on the ground and look objectively at such things. However that wouldn't normally be the case. I remember a post where a guy would go to the strip club, his gf was fine with that, and eventually he ended up having sex with one of the strippers. Who knows maybe his gf was the one to take him to a strip club for the first time.. at least she didn't object to this behavior. I think introducing (or tolerating) such things in a marriage is not only disrespectful but also like playing with fire. Most people already have enough issues in their marriage, and this would be a big one to add to the list.


:iagree:

Simply Amorous and Mr. Simply Amorous have a great relationship. They have a very solid marriage. They can go to a high class strip club. It doesn't adversely affect their already strong marriage. As a personal note, I wouldn't mind going to a high end strip club with my husband. I think we could withstand such a visit too but that's a separate topic. However, the OP and her husband have huge issues (mostly from her husband..not the OP) regarding honesty, Craigs List hookers, porn, immaturity. They've been married for nearly two years but he has still not told his overseas, conservative family that he's married to her. He doesn't strike me as the sort who could go to a strip club once and be done with it. I fear he'd get hooked on it especially given how he's behaved so far. It's like taking a kid to a candy store.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

My husband actually hates strip clubs. He thinks they are low class and would never step foot in one. Just not his thing.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

You are so right Coffee Amore. I admire SA's marriage and if a couple wants to visit a strip club together, only they can make the decision.

I once asked my husband if he wanted to go a strip club together. He said no because he has already seen too many strippers in his life and my husband doesn't understand the point of paying a wad of money to ogle naked women. "Why should I put money in some woman's g-string when I have a sexy wife at home? I'd rather spend money for the two of us to have fun!"

It looks like the OP's husband is not ready for marriage.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

CandieGirl said:


> I've got a friend who frequents the strip club near his home at least 2-3 times a week. He, too, pays these girls hundreds to just sit and talk and listen to their life stories, both real and made up. I'm sure they just love it when he walks in the door...READ: Sucker!
> 
> I've called him out on it many times, and every time, he insists that they're his friends, and he too knows them better than anyone...well, 2 summers ago, he held a big BBQ at his place and invited all his friends from the strip club, men and women alike. Not one showed up because there was no chance of being paid. I felt sorry for him.


I felt sorry for this man too, but I wouldn't call him a sucker cause he knew they were not his friends. He saw it *completely* *as a Business deal*... ... if there was anyone who had no illusions after hanging around strippers, it was THIS MAN... he enlightened us on many things that I would have otherwise had no inkling -what goes on, how things work, about these women...all of it. And even how different this club was from others....we didn't like the stories we heard from some others he knew about. He gave us a good education, he knew enough to start his own club if he had the $$. 

He said after a while, you don't get excited anymore, they all look the same. 

He was such a straight shooter, I respected that somehow. If not, I would have called him out on some things -feeling he was being duped. Cause I so agree with you...it is surely not about winning favors /or friendship with these women.... all about the almighty dallor....a man has to know this going in...no matter how sweet they speak to you. He would go on about the reality of that in a very RAW manner infact. 

He was in a sexless marraige...of course... why such a place became home away from home on the weekends....even if he had to buy some attention from some beautiful women...it was rather sad. He was older & his wife & him agreed-for him to have this outlet... neither wanted to divorce, he saw no point in ending up in a small apartment alone slicing everything he worked for in half - she didn't want to be alone either. I guess she went there a few times with him, but not her thing. They still do other things together, hey whatever works. It didn't matter what me or my husband thought...we just listened. 

All he ever wanted in life is what we had, that is what he told us....then he wouldn't have a craving for a place like that. Very true, the customers themselves -they generally come from a sad place also. 

I don't think, by any means, me & my husband were the normal type to walk through those doors.

It was very entertaining to see the Bachelor parties though, I laughed so hard the 1st time. They collar the guy, put him on a leash ride him around ,then he gets a chance at the pole. Those were a hoot to watch.

I don't know what the answer is to places like this... really I don't!! If I compared how the men act in a place like this, to how the women acted at the Chippendales show, to be honest, the women embrassed me way more. 

After a time, we felt we just didn't belong there anymore, the allure wore off, I was feeling uneasy about it, he didn't seem to care....but still it was enjoyable, we did it together, a wild ride...then it ran out of gas.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

> *Coffee Amore said*: However, the OP and her husband have huge issues (mostly from her husband..not the OP) regarding honesty, Craigs List hookers, porn, immaturity. They've been married for nearly two years but he has still not told his overseas, conservative family that he's married to her. He doesn't strike me as the sort who could go to a strip club once and be done with it. I fear he'd get hooked on it especially given how he's behaved so far. It's like taking a kid to a candy store.


 I have not kept up on all of the replies here, but IF all this is going on.... HIDING , LYING, Craigs List (YIKES!!!) .....Yeah... the man surely does NOT need to add some strip clubs to the list!! Sounds like a boundaryless addiction to women going on! I would be a furious ranting wife handing him some ultimatums & ready to leave him to the curb. 

He is lacking all respect , has no care for her feelings. 

We had a little scuffle about our 2nd time going....I felt he wasn't paying me "enough" attention, considering I was sitting right behind him most of the night, I wanted a little more talk, a hand on my knee, a touch here, a touch there, letting me know we're enjoying this together...with a smile......his reponse...he thought we'd never go back & he was just "taking it all in". Fair enough.... So we talked it all out under our Gazebo the next day... his feelings, my feelings.....all of it out on the table.....he was very willing to never go back, he cared deeply how I felt and wouldn't want to ever do anything to hurt me. 

But I knew he enjoyed it !

.....It was ME who insisted we go back.... and he agreed he'd show me a little more attention.. and he did -till the end. If I had any inkling these experiences could hurt US, It would have been severed right there...both of us agreeing together... as it should be. 

The marraige comes 1st, and each others feelings need to be acknowledged, understood, and cared about -deeply...for peace & harmony to reign.


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## eowyn (Mar 22, 2012)

I read some of OP's other posts in this context and I won't be surprised if OP's H is lying to her about not having visited any strip clubs so far. He has downloaded videos of naked ladies on his cell phone, emailed hookers with a secret account and seems to have a classic tendency of hiding/lying about things that can get controversial. 

He hasn't even told his family and friends that he is married to OP for two years now! He introduces his wife as a roommate to his friends! He got engaged to another woman when he was in relationship with OP, and hid that from OP as well. I won't be surprised if there are other things OP is not be aware of.

As for the strip clubs my best guess is that he has already visited enough strip clubs, either alone or with friends, just that he hid that from OP ... and this was just a lame attempt to officially make a trip to the candy store.


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## uzername (May 1, 2012)

I'd just like to say... there's nothing wrong with NOT being ok with strip clubs in general. why should this opinion make me prudish or uptight or insecure? is it totally inconceivable that i just have my own opinion about these places, without it having to do with me being worried about anything having to do me or my H?

OP, it sounds like your H was just giddy because he'd never experienced it before, and he acted like an ass because of it. Hopefully the rest of your vacation was more about you two.


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

intrigid said:


> The fact that you have such negativity towards it demonstrates insecurity on your part, and that never helps in a relationship.


 I call bull. I just love how some people try to falsely play the insecurity card in these discussions. Next you will be calling her jealous and controlling. 

Most people have moral values that are consistent with the OP on this topic. Rather than getting into a moral values debate, let us just make a deal on this. They should not try to act superior to others that do not share those moral values, and you should not try to act superior for not sharing those values.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

TRy said:


> I call bull. I just love how some people try to falsely play the insecurity card in these discussions. Next you will be calling her jealous and controlling.
> 
> Most people have moral values that are consistent with the OP on this topic. Rather than getting into a moral values debate, let us just make a deal on this. They should not try to act superior to others that do not share those moral values, and you should not try to act superior for not sharing those values.



:iagree::iagree: I like this deal.

Nothing insecure about wanting to feel like a spouse is focusing on you during an anniversary.


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## Kurosity (Dec 22, 2011)

cory275 said:


> my hubs and i are on our anniversary trip in new orleans. i've been here once before in college but i think i was wayyyy too wasted to realize how many effin strip clubs are on bourbon street.
> 
> i made the comment as we were walking, "damn.. there's a lot of strip clubs here"... and he literally commented 20 times about each joint. both on our side of the street and on the other side. "so that's a strip club?" "what if they dont have the posters... does that still mean its a strip club inside".. "let me go buy you a drink from that strip club"... my hubs is an immigrant and they dont really openly have such establishments in his country, but GEESUS. we've gone to vegas together and he wasnt this effing irritating.
> 
> ...


I would have just said that I would think about going with you to your first visit in a strip club but this occasion is not one you want to remember forever as being the anniversary that you took him into a strip club and ask him to switch gears and focus on the reason you are on this vacation.

I would like to add that I do not care why men of woman strip and what their education is and so on. It is a choice they made for themselves and if it is something they want to do then so be it. I know anyone can get a job at the local drive threw but it is not my job to judge them for flipping burgers or stripping their clothes off for others. It is their life regardless of what I think. It does not make them less human. 

I believe in this saying; "Do not judge a bottle by anything other then its contents." A dusty wine bottle can hold a great drink and so can a clean prefect appearing one or the contents can be nasty in either. It goes the same with people. Contents are much more important then appearances and a job is just a bottle and tells one very little of its contents. 
Think about it most serial killers looked like well rounded hard working people yet they tortured people, some barried their victims in the walls of their house. Yeah so respect the guy with and "honest moral job" because he could not be as harmful as a stripper. Strippers are bad


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