# I am a better person.



## BlueWoman (Jan 8, 2015)

Okay, I'm not going to claim I'm over it. I'm not. Sadly, I still think about it daily. Although, only for a short period of time, and the thoughts don't get in the way of enjoying life. 

One of my thoughts has been how much more I feel like I fit in my own skin as a single person. 
I am living life on my terms: 

So things I wanted to do while I was married but couldn't that I am now doing:

1) Getting my Ph.D.. I haven't gotten the official word but I just checked online and my registration status is no longer non-degree, but instead Ph.D. Program.

2) Become a vegetarian. I gave up meat right before Christmas. And I've been able to stick with it.

3) Lose weight. One of our biggest conflicts was food. He could eat crap and not gain weight, I could not. I've lost 40 pounds since we split. I seem to have plateaued which is frustrating, but it's in my hands with no one else sabotaging me. 

4) Becoming more environmentally responsible. It's tough to recycle when your spouse makes fun of your efforts. I bring my own bags to the grocery store, buy bulk, avoid over packaged goods and recycle everything I can. 

5) Foster Kittens. What can I say, I love baby animals. I wanted to foster pretty much our whole marriage and he fought me on it. I am now on my third litter. 

6) Yoga. This one I can't really blame my X for. He probably would have supported me in that. But between my depression, obesity, and fights about money...it became more work than I can handle. 

7) Have relationships with the children of my friends. I have become very close to several of the children of long time friends. Again, I can't really blame my ex for not having the relationships, but not being with him has certainly made it easier. 

The truth is, I'm happy. Although, I wonder if I will ever be in a place where I will want to share my life with someone else. Right now, I have no desire for compromise and relationships seem full of them.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Great post! 

Can you tell me more about the fostering of kittens? I was seriously considering this, but I've backed off bit due to having to keep them separated from my current pets (one cat, one dog), the huge mess they create with their poop, and where I'd keep them. Can you describe your household including pets, where you keep them, the logistics of it all?


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## BlueWoman (Jan 8, 2015)

SecondTime'Round said:


> Can you tell me more about the fostering of kittens? I was seriously considering this, but I've backed off bit due to having to keep them separated from my current pets (one cat, one dog), the huge mess they create with their poop, and where I'd keep them. Can you describe your household including pets, where you keep them, the logistics of it all?



Do it! You won't regret it. Okay, so I live in a one bedroom casita. I have two cats and a dog. 

Because of my space and pet situation, I find that I do better with the really young kittens. I got the current litter when they were less than a week old. their eyes and ears were still closed and they still had the umbilical cords attached. In terms of integrating with pets that is pretty easy at this age. I just used a hard plastic carrier and kept them in their. That protected them from my pets but allowed my pets to get used to them. My cats were wigged for about 2 days and then stopped being interested. My dog is pretty uninterested in cats in general and it was no different with the kittens.

Kittens that young do need a lot of care though, and I did not sleep much the first few weeks. But by the third week they could handle 8 hours between feeds. 

Around 3 weeks the got a lot more mobile. And I moved them from the cat carrier to a pet pen. 

I put a very small litter box in there, although it was another two weeks before they became consistent with it. 

I use old towels to line the bottom and just changed them out every day. 

At about the 5 week mark, I began letting my female cat in the pen with them supervised. She mostly wanted in there because of the canned food and the heating pads. But she taught the one of the kittens how to eat, and started grooming both kittens. That made my life much easier. The kittens are between 6 and 7 weeks now and she is allowed to hang with them unsupervised. My male cat has no interest in them and if they get too close he will hiss at them and then stomp off. But he usually likes the kittens when they get a little more sturdy. Then he can play with them. 

The pen is pretty big and I could leave them in there all day and they would be fine, but when I'm home and can pay attention to them, I let them out to wander. They are currently running around with my female cat. 

My biggest goal is to get them to the target weight so they can be fixed. Boy need to be 1.5 pounds and girls need to be 2 pounds. The boy is actually already at weight. He's the biggest kitten (for his age) I have ever had. But he won't go until he is using the litter box 100% of the time and is eating dry food. Another 2 weeks probably. The girl isn't a pound yet so it will be a bit longer. 

And it's kitten season right now. There are tons coming into the shelter. So if you have the time and energy I totally recommend doing it.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

BW, isn't it amazing, when you take the time to ponder how DIFFERENT and BETTER your life is, now that the dust has settled? I am thankful for that every day.

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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

And congrats on the PhD program!

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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Kittens and a PhD... What could possibly go wrong . Congratulations, it will be an interesting 3-4 years...


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## BlueWoman (Jan 8, 2015)

FeministInPink said:


> BW, isn't it amazing, when you take the time to ponder how DIFFERENT and BETTER your life is, now that the dust has settled? I am thankful for that every day.
> 
> Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk


Yes it is.


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## BlueWoman (Jan 8, 2015)

By the way, I got official word yesterday. I am officially admitted to the Ph.D. program.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

BlueWoman said:


> By the way, I got official word yesterday. I am officially admitted to the Ph.D. program.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Yay! Amazing positive life changes you've made! All centered around YOU.


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## BlueWoman (Jan 8, 2015)

Thanks, FIP and EW!

And yes, positive life changes reflecting my own values. Strange, but I feel like I lived such a small life when I was married. Now I feel like I am living a life of value.


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