# Can't Believe My Husband is Stalking Me to Get His Point Across



## Peachestx (Nov 9, 2010)

I started a post a few days ago - anonymously - to hear other folks "testimonies" that might be similar to a difficult situation I'm going through with my husband and his relationship with his male friend that seems suspect. Obviously, he's been snooping through my messages, something he claims to be against, but I don't really care because I have nothing to hide. It's just creepy that he would do that!

Anyway, he gets on here and accuses me of telling half truths. I told the truth about everything. But his message is full of exaggerations and embellishments to make himself look like a victim. He doesn't include that the reason I'm insecure with him is because he drinks excessively, watches porn, literally has a collection on his computer and various subscriptions to sites where his status says "he's dreaming of other women", he talks to several other women "friends", and even attempted to have an affair, and now he is hanging out at bars with his single friend, but he's such a good man and I have no reason to want out of this mess? 

Even after reading what I posted and everything I've said to him, he still doesn't get the point. He still cries foul. Right now, I'm still just in shock that he would get on here pretending to be someone else. Creeps me out.


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

Peachestx said:


> I started a post a few days ago - anonymously - to hear other folks "testimonies" that might be similar to a difficult situation I'm going through with my husband and his relationship with his male friend that seems suspect. Obviously, he's been snooping through my messages, something he claims to be against, but I don't really care because I have nothing to hide. It's just creepy that he would do that!
> 
> Anyway, he gets on here and accuses me of telling half truths. I told the truth about everything. But his message is full of exaggerations and embellishments to make himself look like a victim. He doesn't include that the reason I'm insecure with him is because he drinks excessively, watches porn, literally has a collection on his computer and various subscriptions to sites where his status says "he's dreaming of other women", he talks to several other women "friends", and even attempted to have an affair, and now he is hanging out at bars with his single friend, but he's such a good man and I have no reason to want out of this mess?
> 
> Even after reading what I posted and everything I've said to him, he still doesn't get the point. He still cries foul. Right now, I'm still just in shock that he would get on here pretending to be someone else. Creeps me out.


I messaged your husband my thoughts after the thread was locked. He seems obsessed with God, maybe I think this because I'm not so the references are lost on me. I will say that him getting on here is not so much stalking as it is showing he cares. I hope it is you he cares about and not being portrayed in a negative light. 

You've got to get your thoughts in a row, look at your feelings and thoughts and decide what you need and then figure out if your husband can possibly meet your requirements. He claims the other man is out of your life but then said he spoke with him today. Make it clear that you want that other man out of not only your life but his life, completely.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

I can see that it would be creepy that he finds you on here and posts. On the other hand, its nice that he cares enough to find you. I can also see that its not that he cares; he just wants to get his point across. But from my point of view, with a husband that could really care less what I have to say, at least your H is showing some interest in the relationship in some form. Ive been on this forum for a couple years now and I can guarantee my H has no idea what its even called or what my screen name is. 

Again, I can see how your H comes off as not caring and just wanting to get his point across. I read his posts and the guy has some issues. He reminds me very much of an alcoholic. Its very difficult to get an alcoholic to stop talking in generals and start talking about their actions and their life specifically. They live for theories but have very little concept of the here-and-now. Religion suits them as its all very vague and abstract, and everything is OK in the end. Im not saying he is an alcoholic, just that he sounds like one.

BUT, like I always say, an emotionally healthy individual does not attract an unhealthy individual. You attract your equal. You can focus on him, point out all his problems, and miss the point completely. You have as many problems, in the same magnitude, as does he. If you cannot find them, accept them, and stop pointing fingers, you will keep finding unhealthy relationships. That doesnt mean you have to stay with him. Maybe in your journey part of becoming emotionally healthy means moving on. If you can accept your part in the dysfunction, and cultivate compassion for his struggles, then you will be able to actually leave the problems.


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## scarletblue (May 20, 2009)

I must say that when my husband and I have had disagreements about issues, that when we sit down and discuss them, his version of the situation is sometimes so different than mine. He will point out things that I hadn't realized before, and visa versa. When you are both open minded to what the other has to say, some real progress can be made.

As for "putting this on the street". No one here knows who you are. We are all anonaymous strangers on here just giving points of view to scenarios put on here. Sometimes people need to vent or maybe find a different view to the situation they are in.

Children should NEVER be brought in to the parents' arguments. Parents should NEVER talk badly about each other to the children. This does damage to the children!

A lot of people who post on here care about other people and just want to try to help. The fact that the two of you are going to counseling shows hope for your marriage. I hope it works out for you.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

A wise man once asked "Do you want to be happy, or do you want to be right?"
My old man was "always right", and even though he has mellowed over the years and he's much easier to get along with now, I still can't help looking back and wishing things were different.

I really hope the counseling works. Good Luck


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