# Entering the dating scene as an older gentleman



## Scotsirish (Feb 14, 2014)

This thread pertains to relationships when one is re-entering the dating scene as an older gentleman. 

I'm seriously thinking of moving to the divorce option. I'm 55 years old. I'm nice looking. I have all of my hair, no belly, all of my teeth, no major health issues. I have a good job.

One of my fears is that if and when I start seeing women, I might have trouble finding someone who is attractive and who doesn't have a lot of baggage. Maybe I will have trouble attracting someone myself. 

For someone my age, what is it really like out there?


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I think that your prospects are pretty good. There are a lot of women out there who are good prospects themselves. You will do just fine.


----------



## Cubby (Mar 28, 2012)

At 55, as long as you're reasonably good-looking, dress well, have some money, and you're at the very least somewhat of a cool guy, I'm going to say you'll reel in the women, even some younger than you. My wife's single friends, around early 40's to mid 50's, always complain about a lack of quality men. There's no shortage of single guy creeps and dorks though! So as long as you distance yourself from those kind of guys, you'll do fine.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Alpha (Feb 18, 2013)

Sounds like you're the kind of guy that likes to be married because you speak of "baggage". If you have no intention of marrying then baggage shouldn't matter.

Don't put yourself at risk and marry someone lower than you financially. Before you know it, you're supporting her children and then she strips you for half your wealth. You're best off never marrying nor living in with anyone. Just focus on yourself and date. Have a girlfriend or several and enjoy your freedom.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Get divorced first before you start worrying about the jungle that is dating. At 50 you should know that almost everyone past 30 has some baggage. With that said you will meet some attractive women and some not so attractive. 7 billion people on this beautiful planet so it's pretty inevitable that you will meet all kinds of people.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Your prospects are excellent. However, file for divorce or at least irrevocably separate before testing the waters.


----------



## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Soooooo. How is the dating scene for a 55 year old that is very well educated, makes good money, is reasonably acceptable looking and improving :lol: and as cool as a cucumber?

Not very good where I live... But hey, as long as my Mini has gas, my Nikon is charged, and there's a bicycle trail nearby I'm happy.


----------



## Alpha (Feb 18, 2013)

john117 said:


> Soooooo. How is the dating scene for a 55 year old that is very well educated, makes good money, is reasonably acceptable looking and improving :lol: and as cool as a cucumber?
> 
> Not very good where I live... But hey, as long as my Mini has gas, my Nikon is charged, and there's a bicycle trail nearby I'm happy.


That's the spirit!!! I'd say the same thing but mine would be truck, the Sony Alpha, and a beach.


----------



## john117 (May 20, 2013)

The full frame Alpha hopefully if the divorce settlement was decent 

I have lost hope actually. I'm not a great physical specimen - probably 6/10 - but when all the single women I know are in high school GPA range you gotta wonder. 

Not that physical appearance matters much - my wife is easily an 8, but a disinterested 8 is still disinterested if you get my drift.


----------



## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

You'll be fine.
Try some internet flirting and dating to get your confidence back.
There are plenty of lovely ladies wanting a nice mature man. 
I've been dabbling in internet dating while seperatley from my husband. I'm 44 and dated a guy 53. He wasn't for me, but nothing to do with his age. His house was a mess and it put me off!! Ha ha


----------



## Alpha (Feb 18, 2013)

john117 said:


> The full frame Alpha hopefully if the divorce settlement was decent
> 
> I have lost hope actually. I'm not a great physical specimen - probably 6/10 - but when all the single women I know are in high school GPA range you gotta wonder.
> 
> Not that physical appearance matters much - my wife is easily an 8, but a disinterested 8 is still disinterested if you get my drift.


Yes full frame it is, the A99, hence my moniker here. 

Your wife could be disinterested because you're a six if you believe in the sexual ranking theory.

One thing I know about aging is that a man will generally age much better than a woman. If you see yourself as a six, you can get to a seven by dropping some pounds, lift a little, and groom better. Then take it a level higher with your personality--wit, humor, and giving her an ear.

She, on the other hand, will hit the wall, and it will be all downhill from there!


----------



## john117 (May 20, 2013)

You have a full frame Alpha? OMG I should date you  I read the reviews.... Nice. I'm glad Sony is making it interesting in the market. My main camera is a Nikon D7000 with a bunch of glass and a couple Canon P&S's. 

My wife's disinterest is not rank based. She could be sleeping naked with Harrison Ford and nothing would happen. Sex or emotions are for teenagers unless it's her daughters or close relatives 

I hope to be a 7 with 25 fewer lbs from now, not difficult with riding my bike but it's more of an issue when the available and interested and interesting ones I run into are high school GPA scale material... Add my immaturity (I call it eternal youth, lolz) and any self respected lady will likely be running for the hills.

As fate would have it I did meet someone interesting - mentally she was more than a match for me - but she looked 10+ years older than her age mid 40's) with weight & health issues, etc etc. I may not be Jack Lalane but I can do 20 miles on the trail or walk 8-9 miles...


----------



## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

Alpha said:


> One thing I know about aging is that a man will generally age much better than a woman.


Not in the case of _this _woman. :rofl:

OP you will do just fine.


----------



## Scotsirish (Feb 14, 2014)

Thanks all for the encouragement. Satisfies my curiosity and helps to settle my angst. I think I would do fairly well. I just need to concentrate on becoming "me" again. Not in a selfish way, but in a more self-actualizing way.


----------



## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Red Sonja said:


> Not in the case of _this _woman. :rofl:
> 
> 
> 
> OP you will do just fine.



Some of it is heritage too. The Asian women I know seem to do pretty well to 50 and then if they keep at it can go on forever. My wife is still size 6 but runs or walks an hour or two a day. Face could use some help with wrinkles. 

But it's mostly attitude. Not looks.


----------



## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Scotsirish said:


> Thanks all for the encouragement. Satisfies my curiosity and helps to settle my angst. I think I would do fairly well. I just need to concentrate on becoming "me" again. Not in a selfish way, but in a more self-actualizing way.



Careful with what you're asking for 

The real "me" is a guy that transcends age, culture, and socioeconomic norms. People my age think golf, retirement, 401k, and the like. I think knowledge, fun, creativity, thoughtful appreciation of the female body (aka checking out / ogling ), hobbies, no worries, and working forever as it keeps me young.

Self actualization is key here. Try to be gestalt, more than just the sum of your parts. Try to be unique, authentic, original. Don't worry too much about potential or value in an absolute way.

Think brand image. If you were a product what image would you project? Say a car? For two decades I drove Saabs. They exemplified who I am (for all the good it did them ). Then do the same for people you meet. See if you can work out wants vs needs. 

Above all be yourself. And know yourself.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Alpha said:


> One thing I know about aging is that a man will generally age much better than a woman. If you see yourself as a six, you can get to a seven by dropping some pounds, lift a little, and groom better. Then take it a level higher with your personality--wit, humor, and giving her an ear.
> 
> *She, on the other hand, will hit the wall, and it will be all downhill from there!*


God forbid women age! It's a horrible horrible thing! Her life is probably over.


----------



## Alpha (Feb 18, 2013)

Red Sonja said:


> Not in the case of _this _woman. :rofl:
> 
> OP you will do just fine.


Just your choice of moniker spices the imagination!


----------

