# When do you take off your wedding ring?



## cathyishurting (Nov 11, 2008)

*When did you take off your wedding ring?*

Just curious as to when the users here took off their wedding ring. When you seperated? When someone moved out? After the divorce? or somewhere in between?

Any regrets to taking it off or not taking it off?


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## Guest (Nov 12, 2008)

I told my wife, in a fit of rage over her behavior, that I'm done hurting and we were over. Sadly, its still on my finger hoping she will act like a normal human being and not a cheating lieing person she is right now.


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## stumped (May 16, 2008)

I took mine off when my husband finally admitted he was only wearing his so people wounldnt ask questions. I told him if that was the only reason he was wearing it to stop wearing it. I stopped wearing mine about two days later.

So I guess my answer is when you feel it appropriate to not wear it anymore.


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

I wore mine for a few weeks after separation. Then removed it and put it in my wallet. A year or two later, while cleaning my wallet, I put it in the dresser drawer.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

I have never owned one ever, than again I rarely wear any jewery anyways, and for years the types of jobs I had the clothes and or jewerly I wore could hurt or even kill me. But I am years away from those jobs and just never got into it. If my wife ever got one for me I'd wear it for her.

draconis


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## NikiVicious (Oct 2, 2008)

I took mine off when I decided to seperate/divorce my husband. *I just knew *after 8 years we were done based on certain events!

I initiated the seperation September 15th. Rings came off Around Sept 19th. My husband moved out October 14th. Still today, not wearing it. 

*If you are not sure *about where the direction of your relationship is going, *don't take it off*. Or at least keep it near you like dcrim did.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

I took my off about a year ago, or something. Chucked it out the car window. We weren't/aren't separated or divorced.

No regrets about it.


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## stumped (May 16, 2008)

ljtseng said:


> I took my off about a year ago, or something. Chucked it out the car window. We weren't/aren't separated or divorced.
> 
> No regrets about it.


WOW no way I am chucking mine out the window!!! To many diamonds LOL

It will make a nice something or another at some point =)


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

mine has been on and off more than i can think in the last 13 years.
but i have always kept it close at hand.
usually took it off when it felt right to or i was ready to let go.
this is an individual and personal feeling that affects ppl in different ways.


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## now_what (Sep 17, 2008)

My husband snuck out of the house after 30 years of marriage. When I found out he was living with another woman I took my rings off. These were not my actual wedding and engagement rings but "upgrades". After thinking about it awhile, I put the diamond solitaire back on just because I like it. I thought it was a shame to keep it in the drawer just because my husband is acting like an idiot.


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

now_what said:


> My husband snuck out of the house after 30 years of marriage. When I found out he was living with another woman I took my rings off. These were not my actual wedding and engagement rings but "upgrades". After thinking about it awhile, I put the diamond solitaire back on just because I like it. I thought it was a shame to keep it in the drawer just because my husband is acting like an idiot.


same finger, or did you move it?


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## skinman (Nov 5, 2008)

I wear mine around a chain on my neck... It hasn't fit on my finger in years... She doesn't know I still wear it but means to much for me to take if off even though my marriage is most likely over...


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## now_what (Sep 17, 2008)

voivod said:


> same finger, or did you move it?


Same finger, it was the only one the ring fit on.


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

now_what said:


> Same finger, it was the only one the ring fit on.


are you guys back together?


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## now_what (Sep 17, 2008)

No - we are not back together. After over two months he still does not have the nerve to actually speak to me or see me - will only email. I alternate the ring with some other ones I have - so now to me it is just a piece of jewerly. We got it in the Bahamas on vacation a couple of years ago - in happier times - and I just happen to really like it. I do not wear it with the diamond band I have like I used to though.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

stumped said:


> WOW no way I am chucking mine out the window!!! To many diamonds LOL
> 
> It will make a nice something or another at some point =)


to me the ring was symbolic of our commitment. when he violated that commitment the ring became worthless to me, monetarily and otherwise.


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## Jaxrockstar (Dec 1, 2008)

I am separated. Been so for a month. I have come to the agreement with myself that I will not take off my ring until I loose the Hope in trying to fix my marriage. Or if I end up getting mad one night and end up chucking it out the window.


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## raising5boyz (Nov 8, 2008)

Mine came off as soon as I KNEW there was no chance of reconciliation. The seperation process did not start out as my choice, but based on knowledge I have now, there is no chance of working out the marriage. No regrets on not wearing the ring. Gonna sell it. Need the money.


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## Lolac (Jul 7, 2012)

I took mine off a couple of weeks ago. To me, it represents broken promises and living a lie and I just don't want to do that any more. We are trying to save our marriage and we are in counseling but I am tired of pretending that we are a happy couple when we are not. I may or may not put it back on at some point. I've thought of buying myself a simple wedding band and wearing it to remind myself that I can take care of myself since my husband doesn't.


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## Orpheus (Jul 6, 2012)

I'm separated for about five weeks now from my wife. She took hers off when she left. I'm wearing mine and had planned on wearing it until i got divorced. Seeing online photos of her out clubbing this week has caused me to rethink my ring philosophy.


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## Emma1981 (Apr 29, 2010)

Mine is tattooed on - I guess I will be getting removal if the separation heads to divorce. I don't wear my engagement ring - I would, but it's not really comfortable.


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

I took mine off 1 week after he left me. during that week there was talk of perhaps working it out so I left it on
As soon as I realised it was the end it came off

He'd spent the last six months complaining that his was too tight and taking it off all the time

And now we know why


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## MainStreetExile (Jun 26, 2012)

You never really ever take it off.


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## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

I stopped wearing mine about a year before we separated. Then when we moved (I moved to one place, her to another) it got lost. I'm pretty sure it fell through a gap in the bottom of the box I'd put my stuff off my dresser in to.

As sick as I am of the marriage I really feel sad that I lost it. I don't have any idea why but it makes me feel terrible.

Not to mention at today's gold prices.....uh...never mind.


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## cabbage65 (Feb 14, 2012)

Took off the band and wear a ring I bought when my engagement ring got lost a few years ago (stbx thought I was crazy when I suggested I get a new one so I got a cheap one). I feel funny without any ring since I'm still married. 

The sad thing is he never felt funny about not wearing his even when we were still together :\


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## burgh_mom (Jul 9, 2012)

i still wear my wedding band. not the fancy engagement ring though, unless i'm dressed up. i believe in my marriage. still have hope. it's a symbol of my commitment to honor him even though we are separated. 

maybe it's easier to wear it than answer questions too. only my close friends know we moved. i can stop for a drink without being approached by lonely men too... lol

he hasn't worn his. ever. in fact, i have his in my dresser too. separated 4 mos. his choice.


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## our vision shattered (May 25, 2012)

im 3 months into separation, ive taken it off, put it back on so many times, i now wear it on my right hand ring finger, i have to give this time to work it self out, until i know for sure what the future is whether we R or divorce, if its divorce i'll be going to the coast & throw it out into the sea, the coast is our favorite place to go together


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## sadwithouthim (Dec 8, 2011)

burgh_mom said:


> i still wear my wedding band. not the fancy engagement ring though, unless i'm dressed up. i believe in my marriage. still have hope. it's a symbol of my commitment to honor him even though we are separated.
> 
> maybe it's easier to wear it than answer questions too. only my close friends know we moved. i can stop for a drink without being approached by lonely men too... lol
> 
> he hasn't worn his. ever. in fact, i have his in my dresser too. separated 4 mos. his choice.


Just wanted to say hello from a Burgh mom too. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ImperfectMomma (May 2, 2012)

I took mine off when I found out he was having an affair. How can I wear it when he broke every promise he's ever made to me?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mothra777 (Apr 10, 2012)

I sold mine to a gold trader the other day. Felt good knowing that it will be melted down and gone for good. Got a bit of cash for it too which I am putting towards a new tattoo (a Chinese dragon dedicated to my son who is adopted from China). I did this the day I found out she is with a new man.


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## UpnDown (May 4, 2012)

I placed mine in her jewelery box when I packed it up and gave it to her 3 or so months ago.

Last time I was at the in laws place, it was still in there.


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## cantmove (Feb 20, 2012)

I took mine off a week after he moved out. I thought we were just seperating and going to keep trying but I found out he actually left me for his ow of 13 yrs. I caught them and came home and took my rings off. I'm eventually going to have them turned into some other type of ring. I can't get rid of them my grandmothers diamonds are in my wedding band.


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## imjustlost (Dec 11, 2011)

I took off my ring when I made her choose between the other guy and me. She told me she would not stop talking to him. I gave her my ring and said, "I hope he is worth it."

He wasn't...

And now, I couldn't be happier with my decision!


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## molly00 (Jul 20, 2012)

Been separated for 3 months now, wanting things to work out and him come home. I took mine off a week after he took off his. I will put it back on when he puts his back on.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

My diamond wedding band was my father's and my STBXW's diamond encased wedding band was my mother's that I inherited upon my mothers death in 2001.

STBXW quit wearing hers around Thanksgiving of 2010, then asked for separation in March, 2011, which came about some 6 weeks later.

Although she quit wearing hers, I have kept mine on, not so much for my STBXW, but for the 54 years of devoted marriage that my parents had, and for the grand institution of marriage itself. I have vowed to take it off as soon as the ink is dried on the divorce decree.

I'm hoping to get my mother's wedding band as well as her engagement ring back as they were both my inherited property prior to my marriage to STBXW.


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## UpnDown (May 4, 2012)

Have to talk to her tomorrow after I go visit the kids.

Going to be asking if she still has mine in her jewelry case.

If she does, I'm asking for it back so I can pawn it.


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## one_strange_otter (Aug 26, 2008)

Asked for divorce in January. Kept it on for two months after until my 8 yr old looked at me one day and asked why I still have it. He doesn't say much but when he does it hits you. Not sure why I left it on that long. Just habit I guess. Felt weird not having it. For some stupid reason I thought when it came off it would be like losing some superpower that kept women away....naive I know.

Wife took hers off about the same time. My daughter asked her to keep an engagement ring on it because she doesn't want any men hitting on her. Naive, just like her old man.


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## MyselfAgain (Apr 21, 2012)

Otter, are women flocking to you now? 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## one_strange_otter (Aug 26, 2008)

MyselfAgain said:


> Otter, are women flocking to you now?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Ha! Not any of the ones I want to be.

When I'm out at a bar or something I started keeping my head up and making some eye contact. But so far not much interest. Then again, I don't put off much of a "i'm taking applications" vibe when I'm out. Just feel like anyone that hears those words "actually my divorce isn't final yet" is gonna go "oh, well nice meeting you". The only ones that wouldn't care are probably on plenty of fish and not caring about much of anything in the way of relationship statuses.


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## JustPlainLost (Nov 13, 2014)

I came to this site (and others) trying to make up my mind about when to take it off. It's been a little over a year since she first said "I don't love you anymore" and she started cheating over 10 months ago. I caught them in March but I think it’s back on between them.

The reconciliation has completely broken down now that she's started using the kids to get what she wants and I can finally give up any hope of ever being married to her because of that. It didn't seem to matter how much she hurt me and how long this has drawn out but overnight, once the kids were used, I just decided that I can never respect her again so now I can't get the separation and divorce fast enough.

I had originally thought to keep the ring on until the Divorce is final but for financial reasons that may take many years so currently my thinking is to take it off once the separation agreement has been submitted to court and at least that part is final.

Regardless of what has happened, I still feel like I would be cheating until a formal Divorce has been completed and with sex creating so many problems and so much pain I think I’ll just keep it in my pants for a while.


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## Lynnie1981 (Nov 9, 2014)

I took my ring off when my hsband took off his.


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## HeartbrokenW (Sep 26, 2012)

*Re: When did you take off your wedding ring?*

I took mine off when he asked for the divorce. He never wore his at all.. said "there was too much danger of it catching on something at work." He never wore it at all the entire 13 yrs we were married. We've been divorced a yr and a half now. He got remarried this past summer. He's a truck driver so he isn't home much.. the last time he was home and came over to pick up our daughter, I saw he had his ring on.. Jerk.


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## Faithful123 (Oct 29, 2014)

Took mine off today. Into 3 and bit months of seperation, she asked for divorce about 2 weeks ago. Feels like I'm still wearing it. Take it off when you're ready, you'll know when that is.


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## shellgames (Sep 2, 2014)

When she does


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## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

She stopped wearing hers when she moved out. I kept mine on until the day the divorce decree came in the mail.


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## Regretf (Oct 13, 2014)

For some reason we are both wearing ours, going into the two month mark separation. By the looks and words of her, M is headed towards D (what a shocker), she's done with it, can't see a future for both of us together, but "something might happen" and "until the D are not signed anything can happen", her words not mine.

Not holding on to much now, trying to work on me.

Whe i ask her why are you still wearing your rings she said" As long as we are married i will continue to do so..."

So there you go, hope is the last thing you lose. I need to be stronger and know that one day i will come out of all of this.


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