# quick financial question involving my seperation



## Lamailman (Nov 2, 2014)

Quick intro to my story, if u want the full thing http://talkaboutmarriage.com/#/forumsite/20516/topics/230130
Wife and I've been married 6 years, together 10 and have two beautiful daughters. Came to me about a month ago and said she wasn't happy and wanted to know what I was doing, moving out of our home or she was moving out with our kids. I couldn't bare the thought of putting my kids out so I left and moved in with my parents. 

Ok now onto the finances part. She's never really had a job, she can't keep one. Well I've been more than fair since moving out giving her more than enough money for the kids. Well that money is to support the kids but the home still produces bills(rent, electricity, water, cable, she has a car note and car insurance) I've been paying them so far but it's growing old that she keeps calling me and using me for money even though she made the choice to walk out of our marriage. What should I do with these bills? I'm ok with paying some but some of these like car insurance and car note because I don't want it report and hurt me but as for the rent, should I be stuck paying these and not living there? My kids could come live with me if they can't pay so it's not like I'd let them live on the streets.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Have you talked to a lawyer to understand your rights and responsibilities? That's a good starting point. 

C


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Lamailman said:


> Quick intro to my story, if u want the full thing Talk About Marriage - The Marriage Advice & Relationship Help Forums
> Wife and I've been married 6 years, together 10 and have two beautiful daughters. Came to me about a month ago and said she wasn't happy and wanted to know what I was doing, moving out of our home or she was moving out with our kids. I couldn't bare the thought of putting my kids out so I left and moved in with my parents.
> 
> Ok now onto the finances part. She's never really had a job, she can't keep one. Well I've been more than fair since moving out giving her more than enough money for the kids. Well that money is to support the kids but the home still produces bills(rent, electricity, water, cable, she has a car note and car insurance) I've been paying them so far but it's growing old that she keeps calling me and using me for money even though she made the choice to walk out of our marriage. What should I do with these bills? I'm ok with paying some but some of these like car insurance and car note because I don't want it report and hurt me but as for the rent, should I be stuck paying these and not living there? My kids could come live with me if they can't pay so it's not like I'd let them live on the streets.


As long as nothing is filed as far as legal separation or divorce you will be responsible for the bills. Since you have only been married 6 years she most likely wont get any alimony but may be able to get temp spousal support during a divorce process. 

You can figure what the child support would be pretty easily since that is usually just a straight percentage and you should probably take a look at how much that is so you know about how much you are going to be on the hook for.

If you file for divorce or legal separation the bills get assigned to each part. If she has a car and is keeping it, she would be responsible for the payment/exp of the car. Your car is your responsibility as example. This usually get spelled out in the temp order.


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## Lamailman (Nov 2, 2014)

Thanks, I've scheduled a consultation with a lawyer but it's not till later in the week. I was just looking to see what you guys thought, and for any advice now.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

What do I think? I think you should have stood your ground to begun with, and let her move out without the kids. Failing that, you should have figured out what you were legally responsible for immediately, and given her that much on a consistent schedule, and not a penny more. And let reality give her a smack upside the head. Being a nice guy isn't going to help you now. 

C


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## Lamailman (Nov 2, 2014)

Yea she needs a good taste of reality. She is cake eating.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

move back home. if she leaves with the kids call a lawyer and have emergency custody orders drawn up.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Yep... move back home. Then if she gets stupid and moves out, THEN you get custody of the kids, and THEN you give up the rented place for now and move back with mom and dad to help you with the kids.


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## Malpheous (May 3, 2013)

What Chilly said... With one addition.... Carry a voice recorder for your protection. Be very cautious of her trying to have you removed using a Restraining Order after a bogus DV charge. Voice recorder saved my bacon big time! Puts a pretty good end to he-said/she-said.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I agree. You need to move back home. Tell her that you cannot afford to pay for a place for you to live and a place for her to live.

If you are staying somewhere like a friends or relatives, tell her that they want you out.

Tell her that if she wants to move out, she can do so without the children.

See an attorney and make your moving back in plan. This way you can get a court order that prohibits her from removing the children from your home.


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