# Signs I have moved on...



## NoMoreTears4me (Oct 21, 2015)

Just wanted to post something positive. Counting my blessings kind of thing.

* My anniversary came and went and I didn't even notice. Actually forgot it had happened. Its on an easy day to remember.
* Its so much easier to do things with the kids. I don't have to worry about planning for her. She never helped plan vacations or getaways anyway.
* I am saving a fortune on groceries. If I told you how much money she wasted it would make you sick.
* No longer do I have to listen to the "victim" stories about how she was neglected and abused. Poor me... boo hoo
* Her selfishness and neglect has pushed my oldest right into my arms and home where he is enjoying life.
* I am a much better cook than she ever was. I enjoy cooking and forgot how much I love watching my kids eat something they love that I cooked. 
* I have my home. She would love for me to lose it but its not gonna happen. Its mine and I love it.
* The important things I still have and she cant take from me. My kids love me, they love their home, they love their school, and we have fun together.
* Sex. Ok I said it. Its worth mentioning. It was horrible with her. I had no clue what I was missing. So much better. So much more fun. I wasted so much time with her.
* The future and retirement. Its mine now! Don't care what she does. 

I dreaded divorce. Begged and pleaded for it not to happen. And it did. But now that I am here a year later I am so glad. Life is so much better now. I know I have my down days but they aren't about her. They are about family. That was always important to me.


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## Tatsuhiko (Jun 21, 2016)

Just read your story. What a blessing that you're away from that miserable wretch. I'm very happy for you.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Nice update, NMT4M.

You are well along the path of healing, brother.

This time last year, could you have envisioned the NMT4M of today?


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Sometimes it helps to write down the pros and cons. Then it's like WTH was I thinking?????


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

When you send that last alimony check. Put "money well spent" on it.


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## Betrayedone (Jan 1, 2014)

One of the nicest, well thought out posts I've read here in a long time..........Thank you for a great success story.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

NoMoreTears4me said:


> Just wanted to post something positive. Counting my blessings kind of thing.
> 
> * My anniversary came and went and I didn't even notice. Actually forgot it had happened. Its on an easy day to remember.
> * Its so much easier to do things with the kids. I don't have to worry about planning for her. She never helped plan vacations or getaways anyway.
> ...


99.9% of the time this is the standard for people who move on. It's only the people who stay where you get life is miserable.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

...


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

Great to hear! I am on the same path.


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## NoMoreTears4me (Oct 21, 2015)

farsidejunky said:


> Nice update, NMT4M.
> 
> You are well along the path of healing, brother.
> 
> This time last year, could you have envisioned the NMT4M of today?


Never! I still have a long way to go. I still regret the past from time to time and I hurt for my boys living in a broken home. But they are doing good and I am happier than I have been in a while.

Its a journey. I hope it makes me stronger.


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## Relationship Teacher (Jan 3, 2016)

Noone can take self-happiness from you. Live well, whether or not others wish you ill. Live well for your family's benefit. 

Keep it up!


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## bkyln309 (Feb 1, 2015)

Glad you are happy and moving forward.

I always tell people I am happily divorced. It was the best thing I ever did for myself. My only regret was waiting so long to do it (I almost divorced at the 5 year mark but hung in another 10 years. Big mistake!)

But it happened and I am satisfied with my life and glad to be free!!! 

Thanks for reminding us of the gift of divorce!


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## plomito (Apr 7, 2015)

I walked away from a similar hell, and all I can say is why I didn't do this sooner? This peace is amazing, the fact that I can enjoy time with my children without somebody always looking for the little things to start an argument make my time with them priceless. I am still in the process of getting my own place and my finances in order since for months I got hit hard with child support and arrears as they claim I owed to her, but I hope she enjoyed each of those checks, because this inner peace like I said.. Amazing. OP I'm happy for you and don't ever look back

Sent from my SM-N920T using Tapatalk


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## Hoosier (May 17, 2011)

5 years for me and I could write your entire post, except she is a far better cook than me, but I have been catching up, and having fun learning in the process! 

Great post, as I tell everyone time and distance is the answer. Best thing that happened to me? She moved far enough away so that I have not "seen" her since Feb of 2012.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

I have to say I am impressed. It took me at least 3 years to get to the healthy place you are. The fact you could do this in a year is something you should be proud of


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

This was you a year and two days ago...



NoMoreTears4me said:


> My emotions are all over the place. Today I miss her.
> 
> I want this all to go away. I hate being at work right now. Everything is a reminder that my wife is gone.
> 
> ...


Good job.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NoMoreTears4me (Oct 21, 2015)

GusPolinski said:


> This was you a year and two days ago...
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Yuck!

I don't even like reading that.

UHH


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## NoMoreTears4me (Oct 21, 2015)

Wolf1974 said:


> I have to say I am impressed. It took me at least 3 years to get to the healthy place you are. The fact you could do this in a year is something you should be proud of



Distance has made me realize I was not really happy. I was content. I was happy to be miserable for my children. They are my world and I would do anything for them. I was willing to be miserable for them. 

I did everything humanly possible to save my marriage. A lot of what I did was the wrong thing to do. But I tried. My family and my children witnessed that. I do not see that as wasted time because now I have a clean conscious that I did everything I could. I did not succeed but I did try. 

Now that I look back and just how ignorant and stupid she was and still is I am glad to be away from that. She would have destroyed me if I stayed. And she would have been happy to oblige.

I still have days where I wonder what my life is to be about now. But those days are getting farther apart.

I still read here and chime in when I can. There are so many broken hearts. Makes me wonder if marriage is even possible today.


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## Karma999 (Oct 10, 2016)

Good luck to you. NoMoreTears4Me You sound as though you have a good attitude, it's obvious you are better off without her.This separation thing is all new to me,only 1 month today since i separated from my H. due to his affair with a woman 30 years his junior, i only hope i can write a post like yours in 12 months time.you keep telling yourself i have to get over this, but it is very difficult to do.


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## Spotthedeaddog (Sep 27, 2015)

NoMoreTears4me said:


> I still read here and chime in when I can. There are so many broken hearts. Makes me wonder if marriage is even possible today.


It takes two people who are willing to work together and go in the same direction, and to make sure some happiness is shared between them.

Increasing number of people feel more at liberty to look after their own interests before anything else, and that eventually fails in a marriage partnership.


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## prunus (Oct 29, 2016)

bkyln309 said:


> Glad you are happy and moving forward.
> 
> I always tell people I am happily divorced. It was the best thing I ever did for myself. My only regret was waiting so long to do it (I almost divorced at the 5 year mark but hung in another 10 years. Big mistake!)
> 
> ...


Same here at the five year mark. I made the HUGE mistake of hanging in there 17 more years before I couldn't take another second of it and left with the kids. I cannot wait to file.


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## moth-into-flame (Oct 28, 2016)

NoMoreTears4me said:


> Just wanted to post something positive. Counting my blessings kind of thing.
> 
> * My anniversary came and went and I didn't even notice. Actually forgot it had happened. Its on an easy day to remember.
> * Its so much easier to do things with the kids. I don't have to worry about planning for her. She never helped plan vacations or getaways anyway.
> ...


Awesome - happy for you. Your list reads the same as mine basically. Although she was a decent cook.

Every year since the split (4 now) she texts me on our anniversary about regret and the biggest mistake of her life and that empty place always being in her heart - and I'm always like "uh, what's the significance of today??". OOHHHH right. Our anniversary. I wonder what's on TV?


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