# read husband's emails



## delores (Feb 7, 2012)

I have been reading my emails to confirm my suspicions that he is involved in an emotional affair. Should I tell him I have read the emails?


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Did they confirm your suspicions?


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## asylumspadez (Jan 17, 2012)

FYI - In future posts, You should be a bit more accurate. Not trying to be a prick, Just saying because its tough to understand posts when they are so vague.

Anyways, If they confirm your suspicions then confront him.


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## delores (Feb 7, 2012)

Yes, and we have talked about the affair. It is still going on, I just don't know if I should use the emails to show him how much I know.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

A bit more info would be good.

What email content supports your assertion he is in an affair?
What do they say in general?
Are they sexual, emotional?

It matters because if they are vague but suspicious he will just talk his way around them.

In that case then no, don`t reveal your sources or evidence yet because you need more before you confront him with it.

What does he say when you discuss your suspicions?


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## asylumspadez (Jan 17, 2012)

As I said before, If they confirm then you need to confront. There is no point in waiting to talk about it unless you want to know the exact state of his affair. Chances are if its an EA then there is a good possibility that its already become a PA as well (or its going that way).

Still, Its best to confront now. See if he is willing to change, If not then file for divorce and attempt to get on with your life. Im sure that would be a nice wake up call.


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## delores (Feb 7, 2012)

He says that they are just friends, and there is nothing more to it. I do not believe there is anything physical going on. But there is definitely flirting. I believe he has a huge crush on her, at least.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Do not confront unless those e-mails ABSOLUTELY beyond a shadow of a doubt confirm the affair.

If you confront with weak evidence he will spin you into a limbo of confusion that will drive you insane.
Then he`ll take the affair deeper underground so you can`t find any solid evidence.

What do the e-mails say?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Who is she? What did the emails say specifically? Is she married? Do you know her? 

What else has he told you about her??


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

make copies of everything and put them where he can not get at them.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

If the emails confirm that he is lying to you about ending an affair, then print them out and/or forward them to yourself to keep so he can't delete them, THEN confront him.


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## memyselfandi (Jan 10, 2012)

If you've already confronted him on the emails and he's denied it..you probably won't see anymore as he'll just create another account where he can talk to her more privately if there's something going on between them.

Do you have a joint cell phone account? Watch the account for either continuous phone calls to the same number and also text messages. You can find out who the calls are to by doing a reverse search on the net.

In addition, does he have a Yahoo Messenger account? He may also chat with her on that..or also on FB. Messenger has archives where you can read his chat sessions if you have his password..along with FB. If has FB downloaded on his phone..you can also check his FB chats on that.

From here on..I wouldn't confront him on anything as all these archives, emails, FB chats are easy enough to delete. Keep the records of them to yourself and if you can, print them off, do it. Before too long, you'll know if it's just a friendly flirtation, or if there's something additional going on.

Irregardless, it's wrong and it needs to stop. Either he act like he's married, or you need to file for some sort of separation until he decides to quit the game playing. It it continues..it's time to file for divorce...who wants to live with someone they can't trust??

Good luck to you sweetie..you deserve to be happy!!


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

tacoma said:


> Do not confront unless those e-mails ABSOLUTELY beyond a shadow of a doubt confirm the affair.
> 
> If you confront with weak evidence he will spin you into a limbo of confusion that will drive you insane.
> Then he`ll take the affair deeper underground so you can`t find any solid evidence.
> ...


From April 2010 till the end of May 2010 my WS was having a very sexual EA online. When they slipped up and used our regular email address to communicate the dude was breaking up with my WS and she was pleading with him not to because, "she loved him", "had feelings for him", etc. My WS also left her computer on by mistake. When I confronted her about it (before I knew all the details) she said things like, "oh, that is just flirting, we are just friends, you are reading it all wrong, etc." I sat her down and read each email (there were not many as they only used this for part of a day), and I read them line by line. She could not hide anything. 

I will warn you like the rest. If they do not contain anything specific your WS will explain them away and you will be left looking like a fool in his eyes. My WS's email contained everything I needed to show her that I knew the whole story. And in the next two weeks I was able to get the most of the story.

It sucks being where you are.


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