# Is he really going to do it?(Need to vent)



## somuchinlove (Oct 10, 2011)

So my H came home today and said he needed the credit card for tomorrow. I asked why all of the sudden I couldn't handle the bills and he informed me that this was something that I didn't want to handle. He said he is filing for a divorce. I said okay and didn't say anything else. He then proceeds to tell me how he is serious and not playing(he has told me this everyday for the past week). I asked him why he feels the need to tell me everyday and he said he wants to make sure I know he is not playing. He then told me that me and my daughter have 60 days to get out!! This guy is unbelievable:scratchhead:This of course through me for a loop and I stooped to his level. We ended up in an argument and feelings got hurt(his not mine). I was supposed to be cool, calm and collected but I lost it for a second. It is just really hard when I know H is being foolish. And if I try to express how I feel, he turns it into an argument, says I am blaming him for everything and pushing him farther away with my actions. I don't want to walk on eggshells around him! It's unfair!! He needs to take responsibility for his part in all of this just like I have accepted mine. We are grown ups and he is acting like a 13 year old boy! I still don't think he is serious about this whole thing--he has only been considering divorce for 1 week. Isn't that a little rash and impulsive? The few people I have told have said he needs to take a little more time to make a choice. His own father told him to slow his roll. H just refuses to listen to anyone....I guess I will find out Friday if he is as serious as he says he is..


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

I'm really not sure that I can offer any helpful advice, because its hard to pick out anything that you may not be doing to better understand his actions. Still, as a middle aged man, maybe it helps to have a little feedback from the other side. It sure helped me when I first found this site.

In reading through your posts, and the way that the two of you seem to relate, you come across as a very 'together' person. Seems like you understand yourself, and hold yourself accountable, yet treat him with consideration for his shortcomings. From this latest incident, it almost seems like he resents that. I'm picturing him as a teenager who wants to prove that he's serious. Do you think that he is wanting to see you become more vulnerable for some reason? Somehow, it wouldn't surprise me if this potential EA woman is needy. Its hard to see him as a person you can count on in the tough times, even if you do reconcile.

I really hope this situation gets better for you, and your daughter.


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## somuchinlove (Oct 10, 2011)

Halien said:


> In reading through your posts, and the way that the two of you seem to relate, you come across as a very 'together' person. Seems like you understand yourself, and hold yourself accountable, yet treat him with consideration for his shortcomings. From this latest incident, it almost seems like he resents that. I'm picturing him as a teenager who wants to prove that he's serious. Do you think that he is wanting to see you become more vulnerable for some reason? Somehow, it wouldn't surprise me if this potential EA woman is needy. Its hard to see him as a person you can count on in the tough times, even if you do reconcile.
> 
> I really hope this situation gets better for you, and your daughter.


Halien-I believe that H is regressing back to his teen years. I read some where about "Age 30 Transition" and H is 27 right now. We still are talk, laugh, joke and do all the normal things we used to do. We relate very well to each other. He seems to be trying to hang on to his teenage years. He told me that when the divorce is final, he is going to put our home on the market, get a condo and his best friend from childhood (who he just recently got in touch with again) is going to be his roommate! He needs counseling really bad. I am watching him spiral out of control and I can't stop him. I'm not sure how serious he is about the divorce as he failed to get the credit card from me:scratchhead:Only time will tell. Thanks for your insight Halien!


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