# Is "sexting" cheating?



## Melanie500 (Feb 2, 2011)

Hi Everyone,

My name is Melanie, I am a journalist from London currently writing an article about "sexting" - I checked the terms and conditions of this forum, and there was nothing about journalists not being allowed to post, so here I am 

I am writing it from a female perspective, and I personally see sexting as cheating, but would like to have a male point of view on the topic.

Do you think sexting is cheating? if yes, why? if not... why?

Thank you for your time!


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## gregj123 (Dec 29, 2010)

yes because it always leads to something else!


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## frustr8dhubby (Dec 23, 2010)

I'm not usually one to label everything as infidelity but yes, I would tend to say that sexting is cheating.


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## coops (Jan 24, 2011)

I'd give a big yes to that one as well. It would fall under emotional affair assuming it didn't shortly lead to a physical one. Most times, emotional affairs are just as damaging as physical ones since you are focusing your energy away from the marriage and onto another partner.


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

In my experience (texting and sexting almost ruined my marriage), I would have to say yes. I'm not an expert, but the generalization is that a woman will only sext after an emotional attachment is established with the other man. It is this emotional attachment that is actually what is destroying the relationship. The spouse/SO is giving all her "best" emotions away to the OM, and NOT giving them to you. What's left for the husband/boyfriend are the "crumbs" in the relationship, and usually they already fell on the ground and got dirty, so you don't really want them.

Not to mention, what "normal" male wants to intercept texts that his spouse/SO sent to the other man about how she so desperately wants to F*ck him and give him the best BJ in the world (especially when now she DOESN'T want to do that to you, or didn't for quite a long time). Nothing kills a mans ego more than reading that kind of trash coming from his wife and going to another man. For me, that was my "turning point", when I "forced" a separation with my wife.

Not to mention all the behaviors that accompany a cheating spouse, of which I could go on forever, but this site has great reading on that subject (the "FOG", etc.)


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## Orion (Jul 17, 2010)

I think that it's absolutely cheating. I feel that when you seek to get sexual and/or intimate emotional gratification from another person other than your spouse, it's cheating. Generally, if a person is doing something with another person (i.e. sexting and the like) that they would not want their spouse/significant other to know about, the action is inappropriate at best.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Yes - I think its cheating.


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

Yes, if you're in a relationship with someone and you're "sexting" someone else, then yes.


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

Melanie500 said:


> Hi Everyone,
> 
> My name is Melanie, I am a journalist from London currently writing an article about "sexting" - I checked the terms and conditions of this forum, and there was nothing about journalists not being allowed to post, so here I am
> 
> ...



I honestly cannot understand why you even need to ask the question.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

AFEH said:


> I honestly cannot understand why you even need to ask the question.


Some people can justify by saying there is no physical interaction. 

Of course some people can justify just about anything.


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## Draguna (Jan 13, 2011)

Yep. Cheating. It's an interaction between two people which can lead to an emotional or even physical affair. So basically, outside your current relation, defenitely cheating.


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

It depends, if both know is only a game between two people where they exchange fantasies but they know it is only a game and no emotional or physical attachments are to be involved, I think it could work. I mean is only a fantasies...and it could be healthy if it is something you cannot have with you spouse but help you at the time to make love to them. You think about it, and make you horny and the love making reflect that...


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Sending messages to the OM is half cheating because I felt damx nervous what if the OM replies my stupid sms when my husband is around and sees that message asking, "Who is this?" It made my heart beats up to 200 per mins but it's exciting.
But what if I only sms "Happy Birthday, or How are you?" is it cheating? Really? Sure it is! After married, we are not allowed to have close friends that are opposite sex.
So by principle, it's cheating but because nothing really happened, so it's half cheating.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

everybody has secrets...why this couldn't be one of them....I mean, why could it hurt you if you are a mature person with enough experience to see this exchange between two people that don't know each other and never will....why is different from watching porn?


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## Whatshisname (Jan 12, 2011)

I always ask myself this question; if my wife were here to hear what I said to another woman, would she be OK with it? If the answer is NO then it's either cheating or something close to it.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

Whatshisname said:


> I always ask myself this question; if my wife were here to hear what I said to another woman, would she be OK with it? If the answer is NO then it's either cheating or something close to it.


I would say I almost 100% agree with this. It is essentially what I was going to post. My only difference is that I think WHN put a little too much of an absolutist spin to it. I've had some conversations with my buds at work that I wouldn't want my wife to hear but that's not infidelity. You more have to think of WHY she's keeping it from him. My wife sending dirty emails to a boy she met on the internet and not telling me because she knows I'd freak? NO DOUBT. My wife sending dirty emails to a boy she met on the internet because I like to pleasure myself while she reads the responses to me out loud? Not so much.

DISCLAIMER: I've never done this with my wife.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

It's as close as you can get without being in the room with someone.

You are sharing your intermost sexual feelings and fantasies with another person other than the one you're committed to.

How is that not cheating?


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## Mstanton (Feb 8, 2011)

Yes, I would say that it is.

Unlike pornography, which I don't consider cheating, there is interaction between a real person, a person that doesn't live far --and you may want to meet.


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