# Push Presents



## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

I'm curious to hear what the people here thing about "Push Presents". For those that don't know what that is (mostly us men I'm guessing..) the idea is that after your wife gives birth the husband should give his wife a gift. Often the expectation seems to be expensive jewelry. So what do you think? Good or Bad?


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

Shrug. I think it's a kind gesture of appreciation to the woman who brought his child into the world. After all, it did take a heckuva lot more work on her part than his. 

I received flowers.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

I had no idea such a thing existed, now I feel like I totally missed out.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Well damn! I wish someone had told my H about that! I feel like Charlie Brown when it comes to spousal gifts! I never knew there was an actual term for it!

In that light, I think it's an incredibly romantic and loving gesture! Something with the birthstone of that child would be perfect! Doesn't have to be expensive, but should be a keepsake.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

On the birth of our second son DH gave me a gold necklace with a gold and diamond pendant, two hearts symbolizing our two boys.


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

I have 2 boys, 17 & 20. My H bought me beautiful Jewlery after both. Gifts were presented in the hospital! It is the least you guys can do after we push them out. And in my case I did it twice with no drugs!


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## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

This is the first I have heard of them.

I would have thought that other than some flowers most new mum's would sooner the money be spent on things for the baby. After all a new baby (especially a first baby) is an expensive time all ready.


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

Wiltshireman said:


> This is the first I have heard of them.
> 
> I would have thought that other than some flowers most new mum's would sooner the money be spent on things for the baby. After all a new baby (especially a first baby) is an expensive time all ready.


I chuckled as I read this. If men could truly understand what pregnancy is like this would never occur to them! 

I remember feeling fat and ugly and uncomfortable during the late stages of pregnancy. For two months or so, each and every day brings discomfort. The baby's foot getting up between your ribs, or the charlie-horse like cramps in the lower belly, or the fact that you have to go pee every five minutes. 

And that's all before you get to labor! 

Men Suffer Pregnancy Pains in Labor Simulation - ABC News

I'm pretty sure these men will be HAPPY to buy their wife a gift for going through pregnancy and delivery of their future children.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Go Get Em Kathy!


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## LdyVenus (Dec 1, 2012)

What about the baby being a beautiful gift for both parents. I don't think giving a gift to your wife for the birth of a child is bad, but the term "push present" cheapens it. And I feel sorry for any sucker out there who is married to a woman who demands one.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

My gift to my wife after my daughter was born was changing that first diaper.

DAMN that was a hell of an introduction to fatherhood
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

It could just be my naughty side but would a new mother still be entitled to a "push present" if the child was delivered by c section?


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## IrishGirlVA (Aug 27, 2012)

Man!! All this time I thought nothing good could ever come from me having a baby!! 

But in all likelihood, based on the men I have chosen over the years, I'd have wound up with a gift certificate for vaginal rejuvenation surgery.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

tacoma said:


> My gift to my wife after my daughter was born was changing that first diaper.
> 
> DAMN that was a hell of an introduction ti fatherhood
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


So so brave! You should get a poopy medal for bravery!


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Wiltshireman said:


> It could just be my naughty side but would a new mother still be entitled to a "push present" if the child was delivered by c section?


Having had 2 vag and last one C...I think the "push present" could be renamed to zipper gift! 
A C section is THE way to go!


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

I hadn't heard of this until recently, either. I didn't even get flowers but like Anon Pink, gifts from spouses were either non-existent or thoughtless last minute. He didn't even give me anything for Mother's Day which was four months after she was born saying "You aren't MY mother - when she's old enough to want to get you something, I'll take her."

But enough bitterness. 

My coworker has a pandora bracelet and gets charms/beads for holidays, birthdays, etc. and he got her a charm for the baby they lost to miscarriage and he's getting her one when this baby is born (she's 22 weeks - yay).


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

EnjoliWoman said:


> "You aren't MY mother -


H said this on my first Mother's Day too. I think I threw a shoe at him!


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

I'm from a different generation so it never would have occurred to me to expect a gift for bringing a child into the world. That's gift enough.

I have been aware of "push presents" for over 15 years now. And, yes, it applies whether it's a C-section or regular birth.

From what I've witnessed, those presents are usually pretty pricey jewelry. Presented immediately after delivery.


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## Rags (Aug 2, 2010)

Can't be that new a tradition - my Grandmother had them for her children, although that may have been a cultural thing...

... for her fourth, she chose a new fridge (which she _really_ wanted - and it lasted 50 years ...) instead of the jewellery which was expected.

My wife got .... baby stuff - a rocking chair, new cosy blanket, etc.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

Funny how closely TAM and IRL mirror each other at times, my wife just mentioned it yesterday. She said the ring she, err, I got her for V day was a popular push prize according to the amazon reviews. We'd both never heard of it but then again we don't have kids.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

I'm way too practical for this. The best gift I got was time. My husband doesn't like to miss work but he took off two weeks with each of our three kids.


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## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

Mavash. said:


> I'm way too practical for this. The best gift I got was time. My husband doesn't like to miss work but he took off two weeks with each of our three kids.


This.

I would have been aggravated if H spent a bunch of money on jewelry or some other non-essential item then.

The baby was my push present, both times.

The absolute best gift H gave me was taking the first week off, and letting me sleep as much as possible (meaning he took over 100% of household duties, fed us, and all I had to focus on was feeding the baby and my own recovery).
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

I agree with Mavash and kag, the best gift that my husband gave me was help with taking care of the baby, and a bit of time to myself to re-charge my batteries. What next, a push present gift registry for the new Mom?


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Never heard of such a thing. Had my babies when we were very young and very poor. I was glad we could even afford a car seat!


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## daffodilly (Oct 3, 2011)

kag123 said:


> The absolute best gift H gave me was taking the first week off, and letting me sleep as much as possible (meaning he took over 100% of household duties, fed us, and all I had to focus on was feeding the baby and my own recovery).
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


^^^ When the twins came home he took 2 weeks off work, helped with night feedings, cooked all our meals....and always helped out after work when he went back. For myself, choosing between that and a necklace, I'd take the former!  

But to those who got a gift AND a hubby who let you take it easy the first couple of weeks...all the power to you!


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

kag123 said:


> This.
> 
> I would have been aggravated if H spent a bunch of money on jewelry or some other non-essential item then.


Not to mention all the money spent on the birth itself, at least for us. All the stuff bought for the baby including the house mods. 

We had never heard of it. A friend called, pretty stressed out to ask us about it. My wife told him it sounded like the "push" was from the wife, demanding some article of vanity on top of what they were already spending.

Mine got more or less continuous appreciation and consideration while pregnant and thought the idea was vain.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

Isn't it enough that us guys are in the delivery room with you????


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

chris taylor said:


> isn't it enough that us guys are in the delivery room with you????


incoming!!!!!


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

Lol, I guess my push present with our last child was a smoothie from Jamba Juice. A smoothie never tasted so good.


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

Mavash. said:


> I'm way too practical for this. The best gift I got was time. My husband doesn't like to miss work but he took off two weeks with each of our three kids.


LOL... I got the flowers but NO help to speak of! I'd have opted for the help. If I were to do it over, though, I'd now expect the help AND that little something extra! It wouldn't have to be expensive, but a bit of thoughtfulness counts. After all, it's not just MY child, it's BOTH of ours.


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

Chris Taylor said:


> Isn't it enough that us guys are in the delivery room with you????


Those are fighting words Chris, are you sure you want to go down this path???


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

Chris Taylor said:


> Isn't it enough that us guys are in the delivery room with you????


Well seeing that my ex was about as useful as a lead balloon in the delivery room, I'm going with nope.

But in seriousness, never heard of it until after my kids had all been born and stuff. And I don't really care either.


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

Thanks for all the great responses!


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## northernlights (Sep 23, 2012)

Chris Taylor said:


> Isn't it enough that us guys are in the delivery room with you????


Dude, my H left the hospital for an hour and a half (knowing our baby was in intermittent distress) because he wanted pizza and the hospital cafeteria didn't have any. Birth was by crash c-section an hour later.

Regardless, I wouldn't have turned down a push present, but I didn't expect one either. I would have loved a Jamba juice though! By best friend brought me a burrito, but I couldn't eat it because I was still on a liquid diet. It was a huge disappointment.


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## Zing (Nov 15, 2012)

Chris Taylor said:


> Isn't it enough that us guys are in the delivery room with you????


:nono:


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

I've never heard of this either... but like others hubby gift was his time and energy and support. He took a month of work with the last two (too poor with the first) and has always been really hands on with the kids and housework. 

I appreciated that more than anything.


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## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

Yep, time, energy, support and love.

I don't like the idea of push presents. It commodifies something that is beyond commodifying. 

And I didn't have a baby as a favour to my husband. I had them because I wanted them desperately. The thought of being given a present cheapens that somehow for me.


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## yellowledbet (Sep 5, 2012)

Wiltshireman said:


> It could just be my naughty side but would a new mother still be entitled to a "push present" if the child was delivered by c section?


My wife gave birth via emergency c section and I would not wish that on any woman or her husband. First, it is terrifying. She was laying there shaking because of a mixture of fear and some weird side effect of the epidural/anesthesia. Second, the actual sight of the birth looked like one of those movies where they reach their hand into someones chest and rip their heart out. It was a mixture of the most terrifying, disgusting, and amazing experience of my life. She definitely deserved a present but maybe a different name would be appropriate. "holy sh*t, I am glad that is over present"... still working on the name.


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## MeditMike80 (Dec 29, 2012)

Shoto1984 said:


> I'm curious to hear what the people here thing about "Push Presents". For those that don't know what that is (mostly us men I'm guessing..) the idea is that after your wife gives birth the husband should give his wife a gift. Often the expectation seems to be expensive jewelry. So what do you think? Good or Bad?


I think it's ridiculous. Without me, she couldn't have the child. The gift she gets is me as an equal partner in raising our children and making sure that they don't turn into the type of entitled people who would expect a "push present."
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

I find the whole concept a bit off. Having babies was the most amazing experience of my life, no present needed to do something that in itself was a gift.

Sure it is hard work being pregnant and giving birth but it is part of life and I feel blessed to have gone through this experience.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

I never heard of this either but its just in time since I'm pregnant. I think I'll print this thread and give it to H

No wait -- that would probably be considered as "playing the pregnancy card" ...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shiksa (Mar 2, 2012)

As a jeweler, I love push presents:smthumbup:

Before I became a jeweler, when I had my kids, my H did give me presents for the birth of our 2 kids. I had very difficult pregnancies and they were more of a memento of their birth rather than a reward. My H felt bad that pregnancy was so difficult for me. When I wear the jewelry, it brings back a warm feeling. I hated being pregnant (it was a means to an end for me).

We were neither poor or young when we had kids, so we could afford it. I would have not been happy if my H had spent money we didn't have.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

LoriC said:


> Those are fighting words Chris, are you sure you want to go down this path???


To make my comment even funnier (?), all my kids were adopted. However I was in there when my daughter gave birth.


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## SpinDaddy (Nov 12, 2012)

Never heard of the term but flowers are always a given at the SpinHouse. 

For our second (and final) I got Ms. Spin a pendent with each of our children’s birthstones and a set of Craftsmen box-end wrenches. 

Nothing says I love you and appreciate you more than jewelry and tools.


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

No push present needed for me. My babies themselves were more than I could have ever gotten in a store-bought gift. It may sound sappy but it's true for me.


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