# Please help me find the strength...



## Stella2732 (Jul 15, 2011)

I am at a loss and hoping that I can gain perspective from some of you.

My H and I have been together for over 8 years, married for over two. During this time we have both hurt eachother- no infidelity, but he has been emotionally abusive, and I have done things ignoring his wishes. I have been in therapy for past issues (we met because I dated a HS friend of his that passed away and went to therapy on and off for that). We tried MC once and he didn't want to continue, and he has tried two different therapists and bailed on both.

The emotional abuse only got more manipulative after therapy- and he has been progressively isolating himself from friends... since he has been unsuccessful in isolating me from my friends.
He sleeps all the time and is always upset about one thing or another. I don't know how to convince him to get help.
This Friday, was no exception. The smallest little thing set him into a tail-spin and I found google searches for "divorce", etc. on our computer. He stated that he "just doesn't know if he can be with me anymore". 

He has abandonment issues, trust issues, and has been betrayed by people he trusted in the past. I don't want to be someone that leaves him, but I don't want to be served with divorce papers unprepared. I want to try MC again, but am concerned it will just turn into the same things it had before. What should I do? Is he just depressed? How do I deal with things? How do I find the strength to stick to my guns with him when I know he is overreacting and wrong?


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