# Just felling lost..again...



## DjF (Nov 24, 2010)

Thought things were going good between the wife and I, we have been talking, I've been sober...she told me last week she had noticed how hard I've been working on issues...

Now this week...she hasn't been to the 16 year old's basketball last 3 basketball games...hadn't talked to her in over a week...finally called late this evening and we had a nice talk...she ended it by saying she had to go, they were going out for my daughter's birthday...I know tomorrow was her birthday, we usually take her out together...and I wasn't even asked about it this year...

My daughter lives with my wife and is going to have our first grandchild in a little over a month...I feel shut out of her life and that I will be even more shut out of my wife's and daughter's lives when the baby is born...my daughter has her mom so wrapped around her finger...

Times like these I feel like no matter what I do, how hard I work to make changes, I'll never get either one of them back...


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## chefmaster (Oct 30, 2010)

DjF said:


> she told me last week she had noticed how hard I've been working on issues...


Gratitude during this time is awesome, take it for what it's worth and remember it's hard for her know how much to tell you about what's going on because you have to work on yourself.
So if it's something important to you, expect the worst, ask her the question, and accept the answer she gives.

Are you doing this alone, do you have a sponser?


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## DjF (Nov 24, 2010)

no official sponser but plenty of friends on call, bible by my side and a treadmill downstairs when things get really rough...surprisingly, leaving the drinking behind was the easiest thing to deal with...I just quit...when it became a choice between beer or family, it was an easy choice...

I know it won't be easy to stay away from the beer, and if I fall backwards, I'll hook up with AA, get a sponser and all that...

My mom told me that she had family memebers that could stop drnking just like that, half stayed sober, the rest always went back to drinking...

As for the rest of it, I know I've grown stronger, even a 50 year old can grow and mature...I just makes it tougher to show her, my daughter I'm trying when they don't spend any time with me...

I know they need time and space too...it just frustrating!


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## sad_dad (Dec 20, 2010)

Go to AA. It's not bad. You end up meeting a lot of people with very similar problems. Will get you some good advice, and the people contact will get you away from thinking about your wife.


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