# I need help. Long story.



## DarkDefender07 (May 20, 2014)

So first off let me tell you this will be very long in order to tell my story. It will be uncensored and the truth. Not only will this be about me and my wife but also about me so you can know the kind of person I am. Names will be changed and my wife even though we were boyfriend and girlfriend or fiancé she we be mentioned as my wife during the story.

My wife and I met at my job when I was working at Ruby Tuesday back in 2007 and this particular night I was hosting instead of serving. Three young very attractive girls came in and I greeted them a little extra special then the regular guests mainly cause they were all pretty. So I specifically sat them in my buddies section that way I can try to make a move, they ate their food and definitely flirted with them especially when it came to dessert cause I bought them one. When it came time to leave they invited me and him to a house party which we gladly accepted and met them later on. Now i went and actually made out and rubbed on another girl when I was at that party and got my wife's number later that night and she knew i made out with her friend. Now I know this may seem shallow but not really before we started to see each other I asked her questions to get to know her and to see if she fit my qualifications, which consisted of (does she give head and if she swallows, main reason is because I like oral sex more then regular sex sometimes) this will become important later on in this story. We started seeing each other and on the day I asked her to be my girlfriend we had sex. It was less then a month of talking and getting to know each other. Now at this point in time I was in a townhouse that I shared with a roommate that hated me. As we started dating things got intense and had to move out, she asked her parents if it was alright if I moved in with them. They said it was alright, so now we're dating and I'm living with her and this is all within months of our relationship. As we were dating I was talking to other girls (but let me specify I was talking to them just as friends and yes I could have handled it a little better when they were trying to talk to me more then a friend). Before I met my wife, I was a player. I used to have a different girl every week and sometimes more then one. I used to play the game and I played it hard. But I was 19 and still looking to have fun and was still a little immature. During our first year or so of our relationship we had sex like animals and she used to give me head all the time and in all these different places. As time went on we stopped having sex but she still gave me head, I kind of lost interest in sex cause she was a little bigger and it was hard to have sex with her due to her weight. She was very tight and whenever we tried to start she would clench her legs together and sort of prevent me from going in and it would kind of make me lose my stamina. During the months to come we would fight and argue and make up and go on vacations to the keys, Disney, and even got engaged in the Bahamas. But still constantly fought. At this point in time she also started to think I was cheating on her, I honestly and truly wasn't but she never believed me, even after I could show proof. I'm not going to lie I pissed off a lot of girls cause of how i used to be and that caused issues. Now even though none of the girls who claimed I cheated on my wife with them had any proof she still thought I was lying and cheating. I never cheated on her, the lying yes I may have lied a few times. Well more then a few times and most of the time she caught me in the lies cause I'm not to good at lying. Yes I used to chat or "flirt" with girls when we were having our issues. But when we were happy I would stop. It never upgraded to anything more then "flirting" though. Around the time I started to work at smokey bones and I met a few cool people there including a friend Chris and a girl named Kristy. Chris and I became really good friends, he was a cool guy. Kristy was very pretty but I had my wife and she was going out with a guy named Bobby. We talked and got to know each other and around this time I started to hang out with Chris a lot and would get drunk and stay on his couch. My wife and I started to fight a lot so I would stay at his apartment and we would hang out and go to bars sometimes and just chill, sometimes the bones crew would get together and we would all play drinking games. This is when I noticed Kristy starting to flirt with me and I flirted back but nothing more then that. One drunken night she did pop kiss me when I wasn't paying attention and I said I couldn't do that and she understood. Her boyfriend was deployed in the army or something like that. We became really good friends and we would talk and text a lot. My wife and I started to have more issues and I believe sexual frustration(well I did, I'm not to sure about her) played a part. We became distant and she became more concerned about me cheating on her and that I was lying. She kept threatening me that it was going to end and then one day we were fighting and she began to take off her engagement ring and promise ring and I said if you take them off they stay off and I will leave and not come back. She took them off and later that day I packed up my stuff and asked Chris if I could move in and he said ok. Now that I was a free man cause she didn't care. I started to tell Kristy what happened and she broke it off with Bobby and we started dating not to long after, we had a lot of fun and got along great. Eventually Chris wanted to move north and I was debating on going but decided to stay to be with Kristy. So I moved in with her, things were going great but I started to notice little things about her, little lies here and there and then started noticing her being secretive and trying to keep her phone close to her at night, it was cause she was talking to Bobby still and this continued for quite a few months and I finally was over it and she chose me. She stopped talking to him all together. We were happy and moved a few times and then it happened again and it turns out this time she was cheating on me with a guy from work. So at this point we were fighting a lot to and kind of stayed together cause of money issues and we needed each other to survive. I started talking to my wife again and then started to see her and then started to have a relationship with her, at this time me and Kristy broke it off and she moved in with her parents and I took over the apartment and my wife shortly after moved in with me. Things were better then ever and yeah we still bickered sometimes but that's about the extent of it, we got re-engaged after a week in Disney and a few days in the keys, I proposed to her on the 7 mile bridge. We were so happy no more accusations of cheating or lying it was like living on cloud 9. We were married December 2012 and it was the best day of my life. We did have sex around these months after but it slowly began to stop once again. My wife at this time was very heavy but I loved her just the way she was and then one day she said I need to lose weight I'm fat. She claimed it was for health reasons and maybe that was the reason why at the beginning but it doesn't seem like that anymore. She started at 260 and now ways just about 155. It's a great thing for her she looks amazing. But I love her either way. Now as she lost weight her attitude, demeanor, and personality has changed for the worst. She's no longer acting like the girl I married and fell in love with. She used to clean, cook, and spend time with me. She doesn't really do that anymore. I used to come home after work to a clean house but now it's normally dirty. As far as spending time with me, she used to say "I'm to tired to stay up cause I've worked all day" when she started to work out she promised that it would give her the energy to stay up later with me, that never happened. She still falls asleep early. She started going to the gym Mondays and Wednesdays and it effected her time with me. Then in February 2014 I started to notice little things, like she was turning her phone away from me or sit on the love seat instead of with me and going to sleep as soon as she was done with dinner. Then this one night she went to sleep really early and I was watching a movie with the lights off and I saw a flash under the door in the bedroom so I thought my car knocked down the tv so I go in there and she was taking a naked picture of herself. I asked what she was doing and said nothing. I asked to look at her phone and she said no. I grabbed the phone from her hand and asked for the lock code cause she changed it. It turned out to be a guy named Dean a guy that she works with at her job. She's been chatting with him for a few weeks, talking about meeting up and giving him head and having sex with him and sending naked pictures to him and vice versa. I do know of two times they went to "lunch" together but god only knows. Then she needs to take a break from me cause she doesn't know who she is anymore and doesn't know if she loves me or wants to be with me, even though she swears she never said that but she did. It was like this for about a week or two, then I find out more stuff. It turns out she was talking to another guy who she told me was "Chris" but it wasn't . She lied about that and I still to this day don't know who the other guy or guys are just Dean. But we started to fix things but now I'm starting to snoop cause I don't trust her anymore and I notice she added a new contact named Stephanie turns out she changed Deans name to Stephanie that way she could still **** with him. I called him and told him everything and he told me he was under the impression that we broke up and were getting a divorce I made her make a choice him or me. She said me. She never meant to do anything with him, it was supposed to be just for attention but it didn't end up that way. She knows that he only likes her now cause she's skinnier cause when she was bigger, he never gave her a second look, not many did except me. Now a month later March/April 2014 another guy messages her saying "what no goodbye kiss" and she got text message right in front of me and swears its just a prank, so I call him and he wouldn't tell me the story so I told him that if he contacted her again I would. Well let's just say after I finished talking to him he said sorry and he would never message or talk to her again. Do I trust him, no. Do I trust her, no not really. But I have to try at least. Now we started to fight all the time about petty stupid ****. But it's bad fights like bad. Now since that **** happened I been keeping tabs on her and tracking her with some stuff I've picked up in the past. I'm a very techie person. I came clean to her and she got extremely upset and that cause another fight that lasted two to three days. But can you blame me, she lied about stuff, cheated, went out on her lunch break with another man. Things have got a little worse cause now we try and talk to each other and I asked why don't you have sex with me and she's like I'm tired and I don't want to have sex all the time. Ok? I said. Why don't you give me head anymore, you used to give me head all the time. She told me she hated to give head, she only gave me head cause I liked it but she hates to do it. In my head I'm thinking you were telling this other guy "that she couldn't wait to have his **** in her mouth". I feel under appreciated all the time now and depressed. She puts me down and blames things on me, and she told me I was pushing her away again. I feel like she's only with me cause she feels like she needs to me. I feel like we have a friendship not a relationship. I can say that mainly cause she will still be there even if we were to end. Right now I'm going through some legal issues cause I was driving with a suspended license and she's helping me through it. But that makes me want to spend more time with her cause I could go to jail for almost a year if convicted. Let me go more in depth. I drove several times with a suspended license/habitual. But that's enough of that. I feel like we're drifting apart again and she's starting to act shady again and I just feel depressed all the time. I don’t know what to do.



I need help. Please if you took the time to actually read this please give me your input. 


Sent from my iPad


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