# I'm so mad/depressed, I need help.



## Randomized (Jan 30, 2011)

Hello all, I just joined the forum today trying to get any help I never speak or share my problems with anyone in this world even my wife.. I always deal with everything by my own but now I feel like I lost my control and I'm so depressed.

First of all, I have a weak English but I will try my best to explain my issue so please tell me if I am not clear with my explanation.

let me talk about my marriage in a few words.. I've been married since 2008, I have a 2 years old boy.. my wife loves me so much but she hates many things in me, we live a very simple life and we both try our best to live and have fun all the time.. like traveling, cooking, going out for shopping or movies..etc

We have some traditional things and we both got used to it, like she goes to her parents house every weekend and sleep there the whole weekend and I also take a break from marriage live and be with my friends and play games or whatever I do.. we both like this so we meet after the weekend so fresh... but sometimes she break this rule and call me just when I am in the middle of this like going out with my friends or when I invite my friends in the house.. she calls me and say: Come pick me up lets go out and I was like WAHT!! I have my friends you know.. I can't kick them out and say that I'm sorry my friends I have to go now m wife want to hangout with me.. 

Anyway.. each time she does it.. I ignore her until she get mad at me and start insulting me and say something that I hate so much.. like we are not a good husband or are you a man enough? .. I ****ing hate you and so sad that I met you !!!!!!!!!!!!

I know she just say this because she is so mad.. so I never take this for real.. but when she comes back from her parents house with my son.. she is like nothing happened and she didn't say anything !!! .. ok I still mad and hated those words.. sometimes I let it pass to avoid making problems.

this happened like 100 times or more like 2 times a month.

recently which is last night.. same script again.. she called me on the weekend and said come pick me up let go out.. when I told her that I am with my brothers and friends and you know that right? .. she got mad and started saying the same ****ing words like you are not a true husband and not a man.. I got mad and closed the phone on her face and switched it to silent..

She said something hurts me so bad.. she said that I wish I never get married from a guy like you!!

the next day.. she called me and told me that she is *pregnant * !!! I was so happy and everything... but I felt like very mad and happy at the same time... because she hurts me with her ugly words and the next day she brings that cool news.

So she came home and dressed up cool for me and she was trying to hug me but I couldn't accept her hug.. she said whats wrong? and I said why you act like nothing happened ? I am not a good husband right? you want another man who is better than me??? just go away!! I took my son and I was walking to the door to go out for fresh air.. she said: if you leave now from this door.. I will leave the house for ever !! and said do whatever you like and I ignored her and went out for 30 mins .. then when I went back to my house she took her bags "mini bags" and my son and left the house to her parents house.

now I don't feel like talking to her or anything.. 

I don't know what is the next action.. 

Edit: *Summary!!*
I ignored my wife for some reason, she insulted me, then I got some good news that she is pregnant .. I felt so happy but I couldn't show her my happiness on this.. so she got mad and left the house to her mother's house.


So please if anyone here can help or advice me I will be appreciated.

Thanks for reading. (sorry for the bad English)


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## Izabella (Dec 22, 2010)

Randomized said:


> Hello all, I just joined the forum today trying to get any help I never speak or share my problems with anyone in this world even my wife.. I always deal with everything by my own but now I feel like I lost my control and I'm so depressed.
> 
> First of all, I have a weak English but I will try my best to explain my issue so please tell me if I am not clear with my explanation.
> 
> ...


maybe you guys should spend every other weekend together instead of every weekend apart.maybe that would help.
her calling you names is wrong and she is acting like a child.
do not call her,once you do,she will use this power trick on you forever.she will call you and probly will use more harsh words,if she does clamly tell you you do not appreciate the way she treats you and talks to you and when she is ready to change that you will be more then ready to engage with her again and say good bye.
let her know that it is unfair of her to want you to drop your plans simply because she wants you to.you you will not tolorate her put downs and name calling because she cant get her way.
congrats on the pregnancy


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## Idontknownow (Sep 30, 2010)

Hi Randomized,

You sound very much like my husband used to be. Keeping it all to himself and not sharing the difficulties or struggles in life with me.

I used to get angry at him because I didn't feel like we were sharing a life. He neglected me in that way and I would lash out feeling the only genuine emotion I would see was anger or sex! It wasn't a good way to handle things but nothing else I said or did seemed to get his attention.

He went away on a deployment feeling like I didn't love him and didn't want him. In all honesty I had beens starving for him and he did not realize it. But because he thought I had given up he gave up and had an emotional affair for 2 weeks. It ended and threw self reflection he realized he had been keeping himself to himself and not sharing with me.

This situation has been very painful for me but he came back from his deployment a completely improved man. He has always been a good man but now he is different and open and I feel like we are coming together like we never have before.

I would encourage you to read His Needs Her needs: How to build an affair proof marriage. It so clearly conveys how men and women tick. 

I never wanted another man and I doubt your wife does. We want the man we have to be the one we need.....ignoring her just isn't the answer.


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