# Watching Live Sex Webcams



## WallaceBea (Apr 7, 2014)

Is it cheating, yes or no? 

My opinion to come.


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## livnlearn (Mar 5, 2012)

in my marriage...absolutely.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

If your partner knows and agrees with it, then that can't be cheating because you all agreed to it.

If they disapproves / doesn't know , and you do it ,then definitely it is cheating

In our marriage however, watching live sex webcams is not permitted.


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## WallaceBea (Apr 7, 2014)

What about internet porn? Masturbation?


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Ashalicious said:


> What about internet porn? Masturbation?


Well that's what I'm saying.

Each couple should develop their own set of boundaries that they fully agree to and stick within it.

Some couples are ok with porn or internet porn, some are not.

I prefer the real stuff and my wife and I still have great sex.

I think masturbating to online porn is really a waste of time , for me, given that things are still good in the bedroom.
But earlier on in our relationship, we did use porn. After a while it became boring.

I think these things can be easily discussed and should be.

My guess is that every couple would have specific boundaries that would work for them.

Cool.

The problem comes in when they either don't agree on the boundaries, or they agree and one person breaks the boundary.

That said, I don't think internet pics or movies are the same as live webcam shows. From what I remember , the live webcam shows are interactive, so you connect with a _real _person.

Internet porn pics and movies are not.

So I wouldn't consider it cheating in a sexual sense, but breaking a boundary if one spouse is opposed to it.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I'm inclined to say non-interactive media is ok, as long as your partner's needs are getting made. But interactive media (web cams, live chat, etc) are no appropriate without your partner's knowledge.

C


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## therosenberg (Apr 6, 2014)

Porn can be a lot of fun in every format. Streaming or video, it's not cheating as long as you're not doing it behind your partner's back. As long as there's communication and you tell each other everything, there will be no cheating.

Personally, I think porn is a lot of fun!


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Depends on the couple/boundaries defined.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I think you should ask your partner if he/she feels it's cheating and go from there.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

Personally I hate porn and think its demeaning to women. Even if a sex scene is tasteful it just gets me horny as he!l and ready to jump on my husband. So no, I really have no use for porn. 

As for sex cams being cheating, yes if your partner doesn't know or approve. If your partner is okay with it I guess its whatever turns you on. We would never do that just not our cup of tea. Besides its pretty close to inviting a 3rd person into your bedroom we are against as well.

When it comes to sex, it's all about the TWO of us.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

It's really important to remember that the only answer to this question that matters has to come from the people in the relationship. In the end, it does not matter what other peoples opinions are in relation to the couple.

When I see these types of threads, I am always afraid that the information is going to be used as justification or rationalization against someones partner, and that's just not right or fair.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

committed4ever said:


> Personally I hate porn and think its demeaning to women. Even if a sex scene is tasteful it just gets me horny as he!l and ready to jump on my husband. So no, I really have no use for porn.
> 
> As for sex cams being cheating, yes if your partner doesn't know or approve. If your partner is okay with it I guess its whatever turns you on. We would never do that just not our cup of tea. Besides its pretty close to inviting a 3rd person into your bedroom we are against as well.
> 
> When it comes to sex, it's all about the TWO of us.


The first few sentences do not make sense to me. You watch something and it makes you horny as hell and it makes you jump your husband. That does not sound too bad.


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## Disenchanted (Sep 12, 2012)

Personally I always view issues like this in this way:

Would I mind if my partner did this? If I would mind, then it is not okay.

But I gotta agree with the others who have said that as long as communication is open and everything in the relationship is transparent then you have nothing to worry about.

To each their own.

I look at nude photos when I need to rub one out. But only of my lover at the time when she isn't available.


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

I think it depends on the extent. I have looked at a website called something like 'myfreewebcams'. It is a bunch of ladies in their house/bedroom/bathroom on a web cam. Some are fully dressed and 'chatting' to people (mostly guys I presume) on the internet. Some are totally naked and masturbating with toys and getting off for the camera.

To me, watching this is no different than looking at naked pictures or watching a porn movie. Not cheating in my book.

It crosses the line when they interact with the woman on the web cam. As a guest, all you can do is watch.

But you can see guys chatting up the woman. This I would consider cheating. Also, 'members' can buy some kind of 'tokens' and give them to the girls on the cameras. The girls will offer things for 'tokens'. Like take off their shirt, etc. I consider purchasing these tokens and giving them to the girls cheating.

Looking at live web cams is not cheating, but actively participating with a girl on there is.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Ashalicious said:


> Is it cheating, yes or no?
> 
> My opinion to come.


There is no one answer. It is whatever the husband and wife decide together.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

It's up to the couple to decide boundaries. IMO, if it's not interactive it's not cheating - so broadcast live webcam (not interactive) isn't cheating (no different than looking at canned videos), but interactive could be if your spouse takes exception to it.

If it doesn't go beyond what I can create in my own imagination, it isn't cheating IMO. No one can read my thoughts, and no one - even a spouse - has a right to interfere with my private thoughts.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

richie33 said:


> The first few sentences do not make sense to me. You watch something and it makes you horny as hell and it makes you jump your husband. That does not sound too bad.


Yes I can see how that is confusing. I was just trying to say that I'm not really into looking at others in any format for sexual stimulation or arousal.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Married but Happy said:


> It's up to the couple to decide boundaries. IMO, if it's not interactive it's not cheating - so broadcast live webcam (not interactive) isn't cheating (no different than looking at canned videos), but interactive could be if your spouse takes exception to it.
> 
> If it doesn't go beyond what I can create in my own imagination, it isn't cheating IMO. No one can read my thoughts, and no one - even a spouse - has a right to interfere with my private thoughts.


I agree with this.

I would only add that the private thoughts we do have can become affirmations and program our real life behavior.

An example would be to fantasize about a co-worker continuosly. That will become a self perpetuating process that could easily impact your real life behavior with them whether one relaizes it or not. This is NOT what you are referring to here, but just wanted to say that our thoughts are our own but we do need to realize our thoughts do impact us long term.

But interaction is the key and point of this thread. If you are interacting with a person it is cheating for most of us. But if it is agreed upon by the spouses then by definition it is not cheating.

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Not on this post but in general, I am not a proponent of interacting with real people ... getting horny and then banging my wife. I think that is disengenuous. So guys going to a strip club to get horny for their wife is just ... sad to me. That goes a wife going to a strip club or going out clubbing and then coming home and banging hubby. More sadness because of the interaction aspect especially. I feel this is less of an issue if it is reading erotic fiction or looking at porn. YMMV.


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

In my marriage, anything involving someone else, whether interactive or not, is crossing major boundaries. Luckily, he only needs and wants me as stimulation for arousal, and I only need and want him, so we're very equally paired.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Created2Write said:


> In my marriage, anything involving someone else, whether interactive or not, is crossing major boundaries. Luckily, he only needs and wants me as stimulation for arousal, and I only need and want him, so we're very equally paired.


Does that include porn on the not interactive side?


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

Yes it does. This motivates me to keep myself in shape, to keep myself active and clean and healthy, and to keep myself creative and imaginative...to be more spontaneous with our sexual relationship, to be open to different positions and sexual activities(making our own porn, writing our own erotica, sending naughty texts and pictures, groping in public, having sex in risky places, etc). It's not easy to maintain a spicy sex life between just two people over an extended period of time, but we both consider it a priority and do what we can to keep the desire burning.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Created2Write said:


> Yes it does.


I was just wondering is all. My STBW and I have a somewhat strange take on this I suppose. We have talked about porn, neither has an issue with it being watched together, yet we never have because well, we get too involved in each other too quickly to even think about it. Interactive porn such as webcams is a total off limits for both of us.

She and I have different standards when it comes to strip clubs though. For me, I am not comfortable with her going to a male club, and she completely respects my feelings on that, yet she has no issues what so ever with me going to female ones with friends. I have never gone by myself or with friends because I am not personally comfortable with it, but we have gone together a few times, and it was enjoyable, though I am sure she had a better time than I did.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Created2Write said:


> Yes it does. This motivates me to keep myself in shape, to keep myself active and clean and healthy, and to keep myself creative and imaginative...to be more spontaneous with our sexual relationship, to be open to different positions and sexual activities(making our own porn, writing our own erotica, sending naughty texts and pictures, groping in public, having sex in risky places, etc). It's not easy to maintain a spicy sex life between just two people over an extended period of time, but we both consider it a priority and do what we can to keep the desire burning.


I think this better explains my porn example...we are both so focused on each other that there really isn't much thought to anything else. Making our own videos, sending pictures, sexting, public sex, all the things you describe are a part of our day to day lives...


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

My desire is one that is very, very rarely turned on by sexually explicit images of people other than DH and I. And even if a sexually explicit image(like in a movie) does cause sexual arousal, it's 98% of the time due to me thinking about sex with DH, and not the images in front of me. There are only a very few(and extremely odd) situations where the image itself is the stimulation.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Created2Write said:


> My desire is one that is very, very rarely turned on by sexually explicit images of people other than DH and I. And even if a sexually explicit image(like in a movie) does cause sexual arousal, it's 98% of the time due to me thinking about sex with DH, and not the images in front of me. There are only a very few(and extremely odd) situations where the image itself is the stimulation.


That's kind of how I am in the strip clubs. I tend to feed off the sexual energy rather than the actual visuals. We can be in there for a couple of hours, strippers tits rubbed on and asses shaken in my face and I'll be limp as a noodle, but my STBW and I lock eyes with her giving me that "I want to rip your clothes off right now" look, and wham...instant wood hard enough to drive nails.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

samyeagar said:


> I think this better explains my porn example...we are both so focused on each other that there really isn't much thought to anything else. Making our own videos, sending pictures, sexting, public sex, all the things you describe are a part of our day to day lives...


We don't sext because hubby has a company phone and I am too paranoid to make a video but I sure do want to! That would be just the ticket for when H is out of town. I'm just too afraid it will fall in the wrong hands but H says so what we are married.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

committed4ever said:


> We don't sext because hubby has a company phone and I am too paranoid to make a video but I sure do want to! That would be just the ticket for when H is out of town. I'm just too afraid it will fall in the wrong hands but H says so what we are married.


One of a plethora of reasons I have a personal phone too. Work phone in only used for work. Knock wood, but I have never once lost or even,misplaced my cell phone, and the only times it has ever been out of my sight is when my STBW has it....gotta love sitting in a meeting and getting a little treat from her 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

I love making videos! We film one, watch it, and DH is ready for round two.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Created2Write said:


> I love making videos! We film one, watch it, and DH is ready for round two.


Have you ever done a play by play while watching one? Absolutely hilarious and good fun 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

What's a play by play? *blush*


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Created2Write said:


> What's a play by play? *blush*


Like being announcers at a sporting event 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

Oh. rofl. Wow, I really did know that. I just had a brain fart. 

THAT does sound hilarious. I think I'd make DH have an asthma attack if I did that. lol.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Ashalicious said:


> Is it cheating, yes or no?
> 
> My opinion to come.



I have been married for 14+ years now and I don't watch live sex cams. Like porn, very addicting and fast. Unless you watch it with your other half together or he or she knows you do, then I personally wouldn't. Your wifee and hubbs should be sexy to you and viewing live sex shows via cam shouldn't be necessary. Do I consider it cheating? No. Because you aren't having sex with someone else, EA or PA. Do I think its healthy for a marriage? No, unless you both watch it together, to get your sex lives raging.


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## generous (Apr 13, 2014)

Created2Write said:


> My desire is one that is very, very rarely turned on by sexually explicit images of people other than DH and I. And even if a sexually explicit image(like in a movie) does cause sexual arousal, it's 98% of the time due to me thinking about sex with DH.


I'm the same way. I'm only sexually attracted to my husband & he's the only man I desire sexually. We have watched porn together occasionally because we like to try new things.


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## sparkyjim (Sep 22, 2012)

Ashalicious said:


> Is it cheating, yes or no?
> 
> My opinion to come.


I don't need it - neither does she. So it has never come up in conversation.

And your opinion is.....?


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

Ashalicious said:


> Is it cheating, yes or no?
> 
> My opinion to come.


OK OP, time for your opinion.


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## WallaceBea (Apr 7, 2014)

We love watching live sex webcams. Sometimes we watch together, sometimes we watch on our own time. I watch ladies with my husband, he watches ladies on his own sometimes, and sometimes I watch ladies on my own. We enjoy it, and are very open and honest with each other about it. 
I think it would be a problem if it was a secret, but it isn't in our marriage. 
I can definitely respect the other opinions here though. You just have to find what works for you, and what gets you both feeling frisky and sexy and close to each other.


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## Stevenj (Mar 26, 2014)

Ashalicious said:


> We love watching live sex webcams. Sometimes we watch together, sometimes we watch on our own time. I watch ladies with my husband, he watches ladies on his own sometimes, and sometimes I watch ladies on my own. We enjoy it, and are very open and honest with each other about it.
> I think it would be a problem if it was a secret, but it isn't in our marriage.
> I can definitely respect the other opinions here though. You just have to find what works for you, and what gets you both feeling frisky and sexy and close to each other.


Would your use of online sex webcams change if you knew that some of these women are involved in forced slavery and human trafficking?


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## WallaceBea (Apr 7, 2014)

Stevenj said:


> Would your use of online sex webcams change if you knew that some of these women are involved in forced slavery and human trafficking?


No. I've seen such women on webcam, and I always report to the site administrators. There would still be women who were being forced into slavery and human trafficking even if there was no such thing as a live sex webcam.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I don't think that there is any way of knowing which are forced and which are not.


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## WallaceBea (Apr 7, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> I don't think that there is any way of knowing which are forced and which are not.


I disagree. The women who are smiling and having fun and teasing the camera, I think, are probably not forced. 

The Filipino girls who are sitting in a scuzzy room looking miserable and who are naked are probably forced to be there. 

I could be wrong, but I suspect I am not. 

Regardless, it does make me very sad for the women who are being trafficked and forced to sell their bodies on cam.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Ashalicious said:


> I disagree. The women who are smiling and having fun and teasing the camera, I think, are probably not forced.
> 
> The Filipino girls who are sitting in a scuzzy room looking miserable and who are naked are probably forced to be there.
> 
> ...


I don't think that that's enough to tell the difference. A smart business person would know to make the environment look good as it will attract more customers. 

Women who are forced to do these things often learn to put on a good, happy face. Why? Because if they don't bring in enough money they are beaten, deprived of food, water, etc. 

People can adjust to the most horrible of situations and learn how to survive. The Stockholm syndrome applies to women forced into sex slavery.


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## WallaceBea (Apr 7, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> I don't think that that's enough to tell the difference. A smart business person would know to make the environment look good as it will attract more customers.
> 
> Women who are forced to do these things often learn to put on a good, happy face. Why? Because if they don't bring in enough money they are beaten, deprived of food, water, etc.
> 
> People can adjust to the most horrible of situations and learn how to survive. The Stockholm syndrome applies to women forced into sex slavery.


Do you watch live sex webcams?

I am aware that I most certainly may be incorrect in my assumption. I'll have to read up about The Stockholm syndrome before I comment further though.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Ashalicious said:


> Do you watch live sex webcams?
> 
> I am aware that I most certainly may be incorrect in my assumption. I'll have to read up about The Stockholm syndrome before I comment further though.


I have a couple of times. I don't find the idea of them appealing.

Since the last post I was googling for articles on the topic. So my 25 year old son walks into to give me a power cord I loaned him earlier. .. He saw the screen and I got the "MOM what are you looking at!!" LOL

So then we had a long discussion on the web cams sites, sex slavery, etc. 

His take on it is that the women on those web cams are mostly just not so bright girls who have not through through what they are doing. 


The one the thing that I did find were a few articles about under aged girls forced into it. Apparently those sites charge $56 or more a minute.

What's apparently really on the rise is what they are calling child porn video sites. Obviously very illegal.

But there does not seem to be any reliable stats on how what % of the non-child porn sites are tied to sex slavery.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> The one the thing that I did find were a few articles about under aged girls forced into it. Apparently those sites charge $56 or more a minute.
> .


Right.

So a good rule of thumb for those who watch adult webcams might be the higher the price per minute ,the higher the chances of it being illegal .

I just did a google search of the average cost per minute of adult webcams.

The average cost was $1.99 / min for professionals ( well known pornstars) , $0.99 / min for amateurs , and up to $10.00 / min for couples , threesomes , transvestites , gays etc.

If a site charges $56.00/ min , then logically it would be illegal stuff. 
Why would a person pay that amount of money for something that they could have at a less than 1% of that cost?
Simple.
Because it is illegal.


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## Lakee01 (Apr 27, 2014)

Ashalicious said:


> I disagree. The women who are smiling and having fun and teasing the camera, I think, are probably not forced.
> 
> The Filipino girls who are sitting in a scuzzy room looking miserable and who are naked are probably forced to be there.
> 
> ...


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## WallaceBea (Apr 7, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> I have a couple of times. I don't find the idea of them appealing.
> 
> Since the last post I was googling for articles on the topic. So my 25 year old son walks into to give me a power cord I loaned him earlier. .. He saw the screen and I got the "MOM what are you looking at!!" LOL
> 
> ...


The thought of a child porn sex cam website literally makes me feel queasy.


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## sparkyjim (Sep 22, 2012)

I agree with that. None of these cam sites hold any attraction for me. I certainly am not going to give someone else my money. 

You have to break the mental fascination to get over these sites.

Firstly, you are not having sex - just watching someone "have" sex. I put the have in quotations because really, under these kind of circumstances they are most likely faking it all - the enjoyment, the sounds, etc, etc.

And then if you factor in the possibility that someone you are watching is being forced into it - well that removes any other sense of attraction.

I understand how compelling voyeurism is. I don't condemn that, per se. I just am not that interested any more in wasting my time with this stuff. 

If these cam sites work for you I would just say don't go into them blindly. Be aware and be open and honest like you have been. Don't fool yourself. 

The most important thing is that your real sex life is satisfying.


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