# oh no - wife depressed now as well....



## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

Its only been a few days so I know they say the old two weeks thing before its classed as depression..

However, she seems to be showing some classic signs such as :-

Not sleeping
Not eating
Very tearful
No motivation to do anything

Its so not like here but it seems to have really hit her the last few days....

She seems very unhappy at work but I cant help thinking its something to do with me too (or could be me being paranoid).

She has a history of depression many years ago, but seemd to be OK after this. During this time, she did take medication - one of the tricyclics if I remember correctly.

OK, what can I do for her? I'm so used to being on the other side of the fence. I feel that after her putting up with me for years its time for me to help her now...


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## StrongEnough (Nov 25, 2008)

Listen
Avoid Being Judgemental or Making Negative Comments
Be Supportive
Offer to talk
Offer to take her to the doctor if she feels she needs helps
Be a sounding board


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## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

Good advice...


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## stepmomandwife08 (Nov 18, 2008)

Ive been where she is at..StrongEnough made some good points...Ive found that having a journal will help as well..Just be sure and let her know that you are there no matter what she needs to talk about and sometimes us woman just need to be held and let us cry on your shoulder..


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## GPR (Jan 3, 2009)

I know this can happen... 

My wife (which I have explained in other posts) has emotional problems, and they definitely rub off on a partner. 

Just think of things that have helped you along the way, and project that back to help your spouse.


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## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

Good news is she seems a bit better this week. I've given her space but tried to be considerate and helpful and she seems to appreciate....


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## java (Jan 15, 2009)

PC, how much time do you guys spend together? Is she sympathetic to your feelings and insecurities?


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## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

java said:


> PC, how much time do you guys spend together? Is she sympathetic to your feelings and insecurities?


We spend a fair bit of time together to be honest. Yes, she is fairly sympathetic but doesnt really understand what all the fuss is about.

Been depressed etc for probably 12 years or so, so sometimes it does wear on her a bit...


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## java (Jan 15, 2009)

What makes you insecure?


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## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

java said:


> What makes you insecure?


Difficult to tell.

Maybe:-
Wife looks nice - has lost weight.
She goes out more than she used to.
I'm overweight.
Seems lots of our friends are splitting up.
Been married ages - 'honeymoon' period is over.


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