# How can I have that mind blowing sex?



## IWantGreatMarriage (May 20, 2014)

Hello everyone. I have been lurking around and just summoned the courage to post. 
I have been married 18 months to an amazing guy. We have a wonderful relationship but am always looking for ways to make it better.
I have taken note of the books advised here: his and her needs & marriage busters and will be buying them soon. 
However, I need advice on how to step up the sex life, like have the kind of sex that Caroline writes about? Mind blowing, can't get enough of eachother kind of sex.
At the moment we try on every other day and nobody denies the other, but then am hardly the one to initiate. 
I guess I need advice on a book that addresses these issues. I tried porn but they look too dirty most times that I don't know what I can learn from there.

Thanks in advance


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

IWantGreatMarriage said:


> I need advice on how to step up the sex life, like have the kind of sex that Caroline writes about? Mind blowing, can't get enough of eachother kind of sex.


Personally I don't think you can fake that kind of passion. When you are truly into each other, you can't help but have it be that way.


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## IWantGreatMarriage (May 20, 2014)

Mmh...it was like that at the beginning. Just looking for ways to rekindle it and make it spicier.


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## Accipiter777 (Jul 22, 2011)

My wife and I tried having mind blowing sex... turned out to be the same result just a different path getting there. So we stopped, and just enjoyed what we had.


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

IWantGreatMarriage said:


> Mmh...it was like that at the beginning. Just looking for ways to rekindle it and make it spicier.


Married 18 months? Every other day? You *are* at the beginning, and nothing needs to be "rekindled." Take other people's accounts of their mind-blowing sex with a grain of salt and just be at ease with one another and what your natural rhythm is.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Can't fake that stuff. It comes from deep passion that just makes you hungry for the person.

I used to have it for my husband, but situation as it is, it's gone...maybe it will come back...dunno. But for at least the first 3 years it was mind blowing. 

I've had it with others. Good stuff.

But....it's not something you can "learn" or read about, imo. It's either there or it's not.

That's not to say that OTHER THINGS can bring you closer and spark more passion--- things like emotional intimacy, experiences together that build the relationship, etc.


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

Get creative and enjoy. Laugh. Try sexting (H) during the day. Get him thinking about you. Communicate. Make mistakes. Who cares. Try difference things, go back to what works. Be absolutely goofy sometimes.

Marriage is a journey not a destination.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

IWantGreatMarriage said:


> Hello everyone. I have been lurking around and just summoned the courage to post.
> I have been married 18 months to an amazing guy. We have a wonderful relationship but am always looking for ways to make it better.
> I have taken note of the books advised here: his and her needs & marriage busters and will be buying them soon.
> However, I need advice on how to step up the sex life, like have the kind of sex that Caroline writes about? Mind blowing, can't get enough of eachother kind of sex.
> ...


who is Caroline; Caroline Kennedy or Princess Caroline?


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

jorgegene said:


> who is Caroline; Caroline Kennedy or Princess Caroline?


I think she means ThreeTimesALady.


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

IWantGreatMarriage said:


> Hello everyone. I have been lurking around and just summoned the courage to post.
> I have been married 18 months to an amazing guy. We have a wonderful relationship but am always looking for ways to make it better.
> I have taken note of the books advised here: his and her needs & marriage busters and will be buying them soon.
> However, I need advice on how to step up the sex life, like have the kind of sex that Caroline writes about? Mind blowing, can't get enough of eachother kind of sex.
> ...


Free you mind young lady your body will follow

55


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## SeekingEcstasy (Jun 20, 2014)

People into BDSM and or Tantra claim they experience MBS but I can't personally say. Those are not mainstream.

The Loving Dominate
Urban Tantra


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## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

Carolines address used to be Mayberry Rfd. 

I take those posts with a grain of salt.


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## IWantGreatMarriage (May 20, 2014)

Thanks everyone. And yes, I meant ThreeTimesALady


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## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

The guy married to IWGM is one lucky guy..... 

IWGM - all credit to you for wanting up the ante......


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

askari said:


> The guy married to IWGM is one lucky guy.....
> 
> IWGM - all credit to you for wanting up the ante......


I agree that your husband is lucky, IWGM. I also think that if you are working this hard, it is because he has earned it by the way he treats you. 

May he keep inspiring this attitude in you, and earning your trust, all the days of your marriage.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

FLIRT. I cannot say that enough. You can never be too flirtatious with your spouse. Seriously that's the one thing that brings us back from the brink of being dull bc on occasion it can happen. 

The more naughty sexy flirtation you can squeeze in throughout the day the better. If you're shy,text that sh*t to your man. Once you initiate the flirting enough he'll catch on and start initiating it too when you don't. 

Playful sexy banter is what keeps our sex life mind blowing. 

But don't fall into that romantic comedy sex life trap. It isn't always going to be full throttle unbridled romance novel passionate. Sometimes it'll be slow and lazy sex that just makes your whole body melt and relax. That's really excellent too. It can't always be "swinging from the chandelier" sex.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Philat said:


> Married 18 months? Every other day? You *are* at the beginning, and nothing needs to be "rekindled." Take other people's accounts of their mind-blowing sex with a grain of salt and just be at ease with one another and what your natural rhythm is.


18 months of marriage makes the marriage new but not necessarily the relationship. They may have been living together and engaged for several years.


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## IWantGreatMarriage (May 20, 2014)

jld said:


> I agree that your husband is lucky, IWGM. I also think that if you are working this hard, it is because he has earned it by the way he treats you.
> 
> *May he keep inspiring this attitude in you, and earning your trust, all the days of your marriage*.


Amen to that, jld


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## IWantGreatMarriage (May 20, 2014)

ScarletBegonias said:


> 18 months of marriage makes the marriage new but not necessarily the relationship. They may have been living together and engaged for several years.


The relationship is as new as the marriage. Just a month of dating, after knowing eachother for sometime and deciding it's all or nothing 

I think my obsession has a lot to do with being surrounded by flirtless/romantless marriages growing up and I was scared to hell of being like that and was ok with being on my own till mr IWGM came along and convinced me otherwise.

But I don't want to take anything for granted...


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

IWantGreatMarriage said:


> The relationship is as new as the marriage. Just a month of dating, after knowing eachother for sometime and deciding it's all or nothing
> .


I stand corrected LOL 

Well then Philat's comment is one I agree with


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## bild-a-loco (Jan 22, 2014)

Never underestimate the power of really trampy lingerie - just saying. You walk into that bedroom wearing a garter belt and Cuban heel black stockings - or a lacy Victorian-style corset and stockings - and if he's human, you will have mind-blowing sex in pretty short order. 

Guys, especially younger guys, are VERY visually oriented, so when you put a lot of icing on the cake, it just makes them want to have that cake all the more. 

You sound like a great lady - enjoy. If every woman out there was thinking like you, the divorce rate in this country would plummet. 

Take care!


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

If it hasn't already been said, both of you keep yourselves in tip top shape. Healthy, fit bodies function better, and fit people feel better about themselves which is good for the bedroom. And fit people are more attractive to their partners.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## soulseer (Jul 26, 2013)

Expess your pleasure.

When you express your pleasure it heightens your partners pleasure which in turn heightens your pleasure.

Be experimental.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## allwillbewell (Dec 13, 2012)

Read Esther Peral 's Mating in Captivity...very informative on the loss of erotic desire in marriage. Also Read Cupid's Poisoned Arrow by Marina Robinson for the explanation of the physiological source of desire and how Tantric( non-orgasmic sex) can induce more fulfilling sex and bonding. Or just google the two authors for the Cliff Notes..very, very interesting theories


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## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

ScarletBegonias said:


> FLIRT. I cannot say that enough. You can never be too flirtatious with your spouse. Seriously that's the one thing that brings us back from the brink of being dull bc on occasion it can happen.
> 
> The more naughty sexy flirtation you can squeeze in throughout the day the better. If you're shy,text that sh*t to your man. Once you initiate the flirting enough he'll catch on and start initiating it too when you don't.
> 
> ...


'Sext' or flirtatious texts to your spouse can indeed be very 'erotic'. Sending and receiving them through the day gets you 'going' and looking forward to a sexual encounter later.

I have tried it with my wife in the past and basically been shot down. She thinks 'flirtatious texts' are disgusting.

in a 'previous life' I have sexted and even had phone sex...nothing like as good as teh real thing, but certainly a close second!


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

Ladies who say they don't initiate really don't know what they do to their guys. Wearing something sexy for him? You've initiated. The poor guy doesn't have a chance...

Avoid falling into a familiar rhythm, where he does one thing, you do the next in order as expected. Mix it up, try other positions. You can slowly seduce him all day long. Then string him along just a bit longer. Tease him into initiating. He's yours, make him yours.


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