# Afraid of any commitment now



## cntrychic1118 (Nov 19, 2011)

Ok, so I have been divorce for 1 month now, and I am having a hard time moving on. I was the one who sought out the divorce after I found out my x had lied to me about who he was and his childhood/early adult life. I also found out he lied to make himself appear better so that I would marry him. He was also a recovering alcholoic and as a result of a back injury he was also abusing his prescription medications. He lied to me about all of it and then tried to manipulate his way through rehab (as a last option for us to work on our marriage he agreed to go through rehab). He was diagnosed being bi-polar but I think he issues were/are much deeper than that. I believe he has borderline personality disorder. I tried to work things out with him, but he did not see anything wrong, in fact told me the reason why he lied to me was because he had no control over it because he was bipolar. But he would lie to me about everything from where he got money from to what he was doing when he went to the gas station for hours on end. After our separation he accused me of cheating on him and that was the reason why I sought the divorce. I never cheated on him or anything of the sort. Which makes me wonder if he is accusing me because he did it himself. we were married for just under 1 year. I filed papers 1 week before our 1 yr anniversary. we were together 1 1/2 years before we got married.

Now I am having a hard time making any type of commitment. I have been working for my brother in law because his company allowed me to work when I could. But now the hours are just not there. I work about 15-20 hours a week, and need something a little more consistent. Now I am afraid of getting a new job. I go to interviews and get offered jobs and can't make the commitment. I blame myself for not noticing the signs sooner. I have never made such a big mistake in my life and I don't know how to move on. Some help please???


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## always_hopefull (Aug 11, 2011)

> I go to interviews and get offered jobs and *can't make the commitment*. I blame myself for not noticing the signs sooner. I have *never made such a big mistake in my life and I don't know how to move on*. Some help please???


It appears to me that there are two issues at hand here, one being your hesitation in making a commitment to a job, and the second issue is how to deal with your failed marriage, please correct me if I'm wrong. I would strongly recommend getting some IC to help you with both these issues so that you can move forward and grow in a healthy manner. Another thing to remember is that if you accept a job offer, you do not have to stay committed for life, you can easily leave if it turns out to be different than you expected.

Good luck on moving forward, I hope this helps.


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