# Thank you for all your advice yesterday



## Surfermiquel (Apr 22, 2013)

Mavens,
Thank you very much for your insights and posts.
Yes met with my friend late PM to discuss this life changing issue and had your responses with me.
I used them to show the futility of what he wanted to do, and convinced him if so drastic take the action to the next step which as of 2 hrs ago he has agreed to. Yes, it might be easy to ignore the child let’s say up to 10 yrs old but what about 16 yrs and what is the outcome if it was successful. The plan with the wife is that really workable no it is not either.
He is going to move to Mexico (owns condo) and clear all funds out of bank accounts in USA (saving’s, investments, 401k etc). This will be done tomorrow and driving there by Sunday. There are no reciprocal laws both matrimonial ad support between Mexico and USA. The wife will immediately crash due to no funds or support whatsoever and is much more positive than original plans. The present house will be lost, but he has no negative feelings concerning this.
I cannot fathom the personal pain concerning this issue, but it has changed my friend not for the better. I do back this plan of action as a positive in this situation.
So again thank you for your insights which has been used to help another into the right direction.


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Hold it, time out. You said they have a 6 year old child together? And he is clearing out accounts and skipping the country to avoid support? So, he is leaving his wife AND HIS OWN CHILD, with no funds whatsoever? While I agree that divorce is best given what he had written down as far as the baby, I do NOT think it is right for him to skip out of his obligation to the child he DOES have. That's just as bad as ignoring the child that was not his. And you think this plan is ok... UFB. Supporting his plan to skip out on his own child, the one that is here, and he has acknowledged as his own... just... wow... How the hell do you explain to a 6 year old child that daddy left not just mommy but him as well, and took all the money with him? Sorry, your friend is wrong about THAT part. He needs to support HIS kid. He was adamant that he wouldn't support OM's kid, rightfully so. But skipping out on his own child makes him a deadbeat, a lowlife. Punish the WW, NOT your own kid.


----------



## Surfermiquel (Apr 22, 2013)

M,

I am thinking the alternatives are far worse.

I was there when her (wife) property was being run over on the street by cars after being thrown out of home. Why she has nothing today.

Yes while bad its the lesser of the evil, so sad.


----------



## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Does the wife have a support network ? What will happen to the kid?


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Surfermiquel said:


> Yes while bad its the lesser of the evil, so sad.


EXCUSE ME????

Oh HELL no! There is NEVER any excuse for ANY parent to skip out on their own kids. Fvck that sh!t! No, he needs to take care of his child. It doesn't even fvcking matter about the wife. HIS KID IS HIS RESPONSIBILITY! God I hate deadbeats! It is not the "lesser of two evils". It's a cop out. And in not providing for his own child, he is NO BETTER than his wife.


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

warlock07 said:


> Does the wife have a support network ? What will happen to the kid?


What difference does it make to the friend? He just wants to get away from the wife. Who cares about his kid? He sure as hell doesn't!


----------



## Surfermiquel (Apr 22, 2013)

People yesterday, all was thinking about the other child, and today is the matrimonal one. 

Knowing the man and the rage in conversations this is a good decision.

There is always worse for all children, wife and him.


----------



## Raven1983 (Aug 19, 2012)

First and foremost...you are and IDIOT for supporting your friend leaving the country to avoid child support! I do NOT care that she has a child that is not his...he needs to stop being an idiot and help take care of HIS kid! I am soooo sick and dang tired of dead beat dads! Selfish bastards! And YES I CAN SAY THAT! I really don't care if I get banned either!


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Surfermiquel said:


> People yesterday, all was thinking about the other child, and today is the matrimonal one.
> 
> Knowing the man and the rage in conversations this is a good decision.
> 
> There is always worse for all children, wife and him.


No. People were talking about *BOTH* children. So now, your friend's child is going to grow up knowing daddy didn't care enough about him to make sure he was cared for. Yea, your friend is a REAL winner there! No, he didn't deserve to be cheated on. But guess what? His kid doesn't deserve to be treated like some trash he can just cast away either. Your friend is a deadbeat, if he chooses to go through with this, and not provide for his own child. There is NO reason he can't set up an account specifically for his kid, for his care. NONE. He doesn't have to allow her access to it. By doing what he is planning, he is being selfish, pure and simple. One of the lowest forms of man is one who refuses to care for his own child.

You know, if I said what I *REALLY* think of your friend, I would be perma-banned. 

For the record, I was one who said that if he chose to reconcile with the wife, then I agreed with the fact that HE is not financially responsible for the OM's kid. But, the child he has with his wife? He IS responsible for. It doesn't matter what the wife has done, that they are divorcing due to her infidelity. NONE of that negates his responsibility to HIS child. NONE! And if he chooses NOT to provide for him, then he is NO BETTER than she is. PERIOD!


----------



## Surfermiquel (Apr 22, 2013)

People,

So then there was a 3nd option, which in my history he could have made.

As you have read she has nothing, I mean nothing in the road runned over by cars and trucks all wet from slush. This was all belonging's in front of neighbors etc. That was some sight to behold.

This 3nd option was discussed and I got his mindset out of it.

Simply throw her (soulfully) into the garbage.

No food, clothing, etc make her less than a human. Yes, again could be worse.

Matter of fact, wives that have cheated have suffered such live post discovery.

No again he made the right decision, after all now 2 children at home with a wife in rags and soulfully gone.

Worse yes rightly so.


----------



## Raven1983 (Aug 19, 2012)

You do know that because there is no food for the mother there is also NO FOOD FOR THE CHILDREN!!!! Yeah there's a good thing, take food out of children's mouths...sick bastards if you ask me! I have no use for people like that!


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

No. The best option was for him to make provisions for his own child. You divorce the spouse, NOT your child. Your friend is behaving like an idiot. Yea, I said it. He's punishing his son for his wife's actions. I really don't see how someone can live with himself, knowing that he turned his back on his own child. The kid is 6 years old. No way is he going to understand why his dad doesn't love him now. And yes, by not providing for his son in any way, he is sending the message, LOUD AND CLEAR, that he couldn't care less what happens to his son. Both parents are real pieces of work...The only ones I feel sorry for are the kids... unfortunately, neither of them is able to choose who their parents are. The kids deserve better than both of them.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Raven1983 (Aug 19, 2012)

Maricha, think about how my little one is dealing with her dad...

I know what this wife is going through...I know what the dad is going through as I was the one cheated on. My ex-husband isn't providing for our daughter...a child that he SAYS he love...how do you tell a 5 year old or a 6 year old that daddy doesn't love the anymore? And as Maricha said...by turning his back on his child and refusing to provide for the child that just shows that he doesn't love them. I CAN say that!


----------



## lisab0105 (Oct 26, 2011)

Surfermiquel said:


> People,
> 
> So then there was a 3nd option, which in my history he could have made.
> 
> ...


Rightly so?!?!?!?!?! Are you f*cking kidding me? Is his pride so fragile and weak that he would make his own flesh and blood pay for his mother's mistakes??? Just for that, I hope the cheating wife finds a loop hole somewhere and bleeds that m*therf*cker DDDDDRRRRYYYY!!!!!


----------



## Surfermiquel (Apr 22, 2013)

See the horrible story on the forum today.

So very very sad, and I could see this happening to them.

Again he chosen wisely.


----------



## lisab0105 (Oct 26, 2011)

Surfermiquel said:


> See the horrible story on the forum today.
> 
> So very very sad, and I could see this happening to them.
> 
> Again he chosen wisely.


Chose wisely? Abandoning your child is not choosing wisely. It is him being a do*chebag piece of chicken sh*t loser that deserves to get his balls cut off so as to never procreate again!!! And if you really call that choosing wisely, doesn't say much for you either. Make's me sick to stomach knowing there are men and women out there that can just abandon their children because their ego's were hurt. F*cking LOSER'S. :banghead::banghead::banghead:


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

He is a coward and a bad father if he chooses to abandon his own children. 

Exposing the married OM to his wife.
Divorcing his cheating wife and demanding nothing less than 50% custody and no alimony is the much better choice.
His children have not betrayed him like she did, they should not be abandoned by their father.


----------



## Surfermiquel (Apr 22, 2013)

So he should stay and become abusive or worse.

Wow people open your eyes, sometimes life is not fair and it is not in this case.

Some lose some win some in the middle.


----------



## Surfermiquel (Apr 22, 2013)

Shaggy,

Logical post but in USA it doesn't work that way.

Cheated on suffers and pays.

He simply chosen not to deal with it.


----------



## lisab0105 (Oct 26, 2011)

Surfermiquel said:


> So he should stay and become abusive or worse.
> 
> Wow people open your eyes, sometimes life is not fair and it is not in this case.
> 
> Some lose some win some in the middle.


If he is so unstable that to stay and take care of HIS KID would mean he is going to murder and or beat his family, he needs to be LOCKED UP!!! 

Your minimalist attitude towards this makes me sick to stomach.


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Wow, you and your friend are both pieces of garbage. It's clear you view men as superior and women and children as property, that's why you're ok with him abandoning his child. I hope your friend has a crappy life in Mexico and you should join him scumbag. Your friend is showing his true self here, that's probably why she cheated in the first place, because he's a scumbag.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

No, your friend is a f*cking coward. He's chosen to turn his back on his child. He is scum. He could have chosen to provide for his child. Instead, he selfishly chose his money over the child. @$$hole. That's all he is.


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Surfermiquel said:


> Shaggy,
> 
> Logical post but in USA it doesn't work that way.
> 
> ...


A man does not abandon his children.


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Surfermiquel said:


> *So he should stay and become abusive or worse.*
> 
> Wow people open your eyes, sometimes life is not fair and it is not in this case.
> 
> Some lose some win some in the middle.


No. Nobody fvcking said he has to stay and become abusive. Nobady said he shouldn't go to Mexico. What we are all saying is he needs to be a man and take care of HIS OWN CHILD. He is responsible for him. And by skipping out on the child, he is nothing but a worthless deadbeat piece of garbage. And you aren't any better for supporting him in this decision.


----------



## Surfermiquel (Apr 22, 2013)

People,

Wow how many men have done such in the USA, its some 55,000,000 over the past 50 yrs.

He chosen wisely.


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Surfermiquel said:


> People,
> 
> Wow how many men have done such in the USA, its some 55,000,000 over the past 50 yrs.
> 
> *He chosen wisely.*


No, he's a moron. How many have done the same thing? Too many. And I think just as lowly of them as I do of your friend.


----------



## Surfermiquel (Apr 22, 2013)

So lets see,

He should stay.

Pay alimony remember adultery has no bearing on this.

Pay the court paternity fight OC about 40k in NYC

Pay support to present child.

Gee sounds like a lose lose and lose to me.

He chose wisely.


----------



## LetDownNTX (Oct 4, 2012)

Surfermiquel said:


> People,
> 
> So then there was a 3nd option, which in my history he could have made.
> 
> ...


This is a really FVCKED up way of thinking!! Do you have kids?


----------



## LetDownNTX (Oct 4, 2012)

Surfermiquel said:


> So he should stay and become abusive or worse.
> 
> Wow people open your eyes, sometimes life is not fair and it is not in this case.
> 
> Some lose some win some in the middle.


If he gets abusive its because he CHOOSES to get abusive. Maybe he should grow up, divorce his cheating wife, and take care of his obligation!

If he does less then that he's a sorry low life in my opinion!


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I know it's against the rules to call someone a troll, so I will simply state this instead

this is a support forum for people seeking help or to provide support/advice. OP is no longer seeking help or giving productive advice and is simply being combative and obtuse and is likely trying to elicit the ire of other posters. Personally I think the report button is order instead of wasting any more time with this thread.


----------



## Surfermiquel (Apr 22, 2013)

Tx,

Obligation in NY to suffer lifelong for a cheating wife.

Via alimony.

He chose wisely.


----------



## Surfermiquel (Apr 22, 2013)

Recover,

Great thought, yes will help a friend.

There is no good answer, no bad answer.


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Surfermiquel said:


> So lets see,
> 
> He should stay.
> 
> ...


Will you stop repeating the "he has chosen wisely" sh1t? He has not. He's an ass who doesn't care about his own kid. I suggested something he could do. There's no reason he couldn't. No one said he needed to stay there. The only thing everyone is saying is that not providing for his child makes him scum. And, saying that he has made a wise decision to turn his back on the child makes you equal to him. He has chosen poorly. And in supporting that aspect of his decision, so have you.


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> I know it's against the rules to call someone a troll, so I will simply state this instead
> 
> this is a support forum for people seeking help or to provide support/advice. OP is no longer seeking help or giving productive advice and is simply being combative and obtuse and is likely trying to elicit the ire of other posters. Personally I think the report button is order instead of wasting any more time with this thread.


AR... the voice of reason. Done.


----------



## Raven1983 (Aug 19, 2012)

Surfermiquel said:


> So lets see,
> 
> He should stay.
> 
> ...



GET OVER IT! The CHILD is the one that ends up losing jackass! I don't care anymore if I get banned!! YOU are a F*CKING IDIOT!!!! Who the hell cares about what the mother gets? THE CHILD is the one that ends up losing! start thinking about the CHILD!!!!!


----------



## GROUNDPOUNDER (Mar 8, 2013)

Dear TAMers, I wouldn't waste anymore energy on this one. The OP's replies seem to always be written in a way to invoke your heated responses. Your feeding the fire. If the husband runs away to Mexico, he'll probably end up coming back here eventually. I mean, it's Mexico... If he comes back, he'll never be able to work "above the table", or his stbxw will be able to garnish his wages.

So he's stuck with either living in Mexico, or sneaking back here and trying to make a living, with out paying taxes. If this is all true and I have my doubts about that, the karma bus will find him.


----------



## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

I haven't seen the original thread. Although I do think that fathers should support their children. I would just like to ask a simple question.

Is it possible for a father to support his children without a court order to do so? I'm thinking that it might be possible.


----------



## Surfermiquel (Apr 22, 2013)

P,

Of course, and it happens every day.

When a man and woman are amicable and commendable.


----------



## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Can't believe I'm wasting my time here but, no real man abandons his children. Never, I know my culture and being Macho also means sucking it up and providing for his child not running away like a scared cat to somewhere were he can't be found. What a shame that you call yourselfs men, real men don't abandon their children ever!

Made the right choice my foot! He took the cowards way.


----------



## MovingAhead (Dec 27, 2012)

S...

Adultery actually does figure into alimony. You are at the mercy of the judge of the court but what you wrote was not true.

I pay my EXW both alimony and Child support. I am getting full custody of my children, but I will still pay her child support because if I didn't she would fight me on the custody and my children want to live with me as I nurture them, teach them things that men should do.

So when the going gets tough, you just pack it up and run away wanting mamasita to come coddle you. Who knows maybe she can change his diaper too.

To say he chose the lesser of two evils means he chose evil. There are other options. He chose poorly. I think because he is a poor excuse for what a man should be. You think he is doing the right thing. I guess that says something about who you are as well.

Sometimes the right choices are the hardest choices and don't bare much fruit, but they are the right choices none the less.


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

PHTlump said:


> I haven't seen the original thread. Although I do think that fathers should support their children. I would just like to ask a simple question.
> 
> Is it possible for a father to support his children without a court order to do so? I'm thinking that it might be possible.


Here is the original thread:
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/72129-helping-friend-need-ask-mavens-here.html

And yes, he could set up a fund, controlled by someone HE trusts, to be used SOLELY for the care of his child. Now, if that were actually his plan of action, once in Mexico, I'd say cool, do that. But the replies from OP, basically saying "oh well, such is life" is really ridiculous, to say the least. A man who turns his back on his own child, when that child NEEDS the love and support (including financial) of his parent... isn't a man. He is a coward, scum. And those who support this kind of action are scum as well.


----------



## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

Surfermiquel said:


> P,
> 
> Of course, and it happens every day.
> 
> When a man and woman are amicable and commendable.


That's what I thought. It seems like most of the people who are objecting to your friend's plan are assuming that, without a court order forcing him to support his child, he never would.

Is that his plan? Is he planning on moving to another country so that he can avoid ever sending a dime to his child? Or, is he moving to avoid being put through the ringer of the American family court system and threatened with jail unless he provides his exwife with alimony (perhaps for life) and support for his child (and perhaps the other man's child as well) that may be excessive?


----------



## lewmin (Nov 5, 2012)

Based on the insane responses by SurferM, I'm getting the feeling that we are all getting played.


----------



## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Surfermiquel said:


> Recover,
> 
> Great thought, yes will help a friend.
> 
> There is no good answer, no bad answer.


There are bad answers, yours.


----------



## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

I always giggle when people try to write in an accent.


----------



## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

Wise choice, but he should bring his child with him down to Mexico and let the wife deal with her mess, alone by herself.


----------



## Surfermiquel (Apr 22, 2013)

P,

Thank you for the logical post.

Or, is he moving to avoid being put through the ringer of the American family court system and threatened with jail unless he provides his exwife with alimony.

Bravo you hit it on the head.

Yes he will suffer all ways unless he does the plan.

Which by tomorrow will be completed, she doesn't even know Sunday AM its over.


----------



## domah (May 18, 2012)

Raven1983 said:


> First and foremost...you are and IDIOT for supporting your friend leaving the country to avoid child support! I do NOT care that she has a child that is not his...he needs to stop being an idiot and help take care of HIS kid! I am soooo sick and dang tired of dead beat dads! Selfish bastards! And YES I CAN SAY THAT! I really don't care if I get banned either!


:iagree:

Sorry bud, but I wouldn't support a friend who wants to skip out on his child. Being the man, its likely your friend will get screwed financially in the divorce. He will likely end up losing custody and paying child support & alimony. That sucks, but as a man, he needs to suck it up and do it for his child. If no child were involved, then sure, skip the country to avoid the ridiculousness of family court; however, once a child is involved he is just going to have to grunt and bear it. 

I would give up everything I have financially rather than leaving my children.


----------



## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

keko said:


> Wise choice, but he should bring his child with him down to Mexico and let the wife deal with her mess, alone by herself.


Yeah....I think there's like laws or something saying ya can't really do that...


----------



## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

SomedayDig said:


> Yeah....I think there's like laws or something saying ya can't really do that...


As long as both parents agree, what exactly can the laws limit?


----------



## domah (May 18, 2012)

Surfermiquel said:


> So lets see,
> 
> He should stay.
> 
> ...


Yes. He should stay. He should fight it. As a man, we all know the odds are stacked against him and he will likely end up paying life-long alimony.

Paying child support for his own child is a no-brainer. I can't believe that he is even considering not doing that. Either he never really loved his own child or he's not thinking straight right now.

As a man, I know how one-sided the system can be towards men. But as a man, he will need to suck it up for his child. There is no other reason, other than his child, that he needs to stay in this country and get reamed by the family court system. I think any father, who really loves his children, will accept getting screwed over by the family courts if it means he can maintain some form of relationship with his child(ren). 

Look, he made the mistake of getting married in the first place. Nobody forced him into signing a completely one-sided marriage contract. He needs to man up and to accept the consequences of his stupid decision (getting married in the first place).


----------



## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

MovingAhead said:


> Adultery actually does figure into alimony.


The OP said he was in NYC. The first link in Google said that adultery would only figure into alimony if the adultery significantly affected the economics of the marriage. For example, if the wife was sending her boyfriend $50k/year in gifts out of marital funds. Otherwise, it doesn't figure into the equation.



> I pay my EXW both alimony and Child support. I am getting full custody of my children, but I will still pay her child support because if I didn't she would fight me on the custody and my children want to live with me as I nurture them, teach them things that men should do.
> 
> So when the going gets tough, you just pack it up and run away wanting mamasita to come coddle you. Who knows maybe she can change his diaper too.


So, even though your children live with you, you are paying your ex-wife extortion money. If you don't pay her "child support" (even though she doesn't support the children) then she will take you to court and steal more of your money. Now, that's not really a system that I can support. I certainly don't think that anyone should teach his children to support that system. And I can't work up all that much condemnation for a man who refuses to put himself at the mercy of that kind of a system.

Would I submit to that system if I divorced? Probably. I'm a sucker for my kids. I need to see them as often as possible. So I would probably bend over and take it however the family court system wanted to give it out if was a choice between that and rarely, or never, seeing my kids. But I certainly wouldn't be so high minded and sure of my own righteousness, in the midst of my own victimization, that I refer to those less willing to be victims of a corrupt system, or their sympathizers, as evil.


----------



## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Yeah, but keko...if he was planning on running away to Mexico and leaving her high and dry with the kid - I'm not really thinking anyone is getting "permission" for anything. IF this is even a valid story.


----------



## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

SomedayDig said:


> Yeah, but keko...if he was planning on running away to Mexico and leaving her high and dry with the kid - I'm not really thinking anyone is getting "permission" for anything. IF this is even a valid story.


If she has an ounce of common sense left, she'd send the kid with the father so at least he'll be fed and looked after "properly" instead of staying with the mother without a penny.

But then again she got knocked up by the OM, so I doubt she has that much common sense left.


----------



## Surfermiquel (Apr 22, 2013)

Very valid and sad same time.

See known them entire marriage and him since childhood.

It was not the affair but the child from it.

Why the F could she could not merely abort it.


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

SomedayDig said:


> Yeah, but keko...if he was planning on running away to Mexico and leaving her high and dry with the kid - I'm not really thinking anyone is getting "permission" for anything. *IF this is even a valid story.*


Key words, right there. 
And I thank AR for "reeling me in" so to speak. I said plenty which were "bad"... but I could have said worse... much, much worse.


----------



## Surfermiquel (Apr 22, 2013)

K,

The OM has dumped her, and from what I know his wife has no idea.

No doubt he is sweating his end is coming shortly.

So we got a real mess.


----------



## Surfermiquel (Apr 22, 2013)

BTW,

Facebook peeps thanks you for friend acceptance.

Yes quite real here.


----------



## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Surfermiquel said:


> BTW,
> 
> Facebook peeps thanks you for friend acceptance.
> 
> Yes quite real here.


LMAO!!! Really!?


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Surfermiquel said:


> Very valid and sad same time.
> 
> See known them entire marriage and him since childhood.
> 
> ...


Because some people, even if they have no problem with having extramarital sex, are morally opposed to abortion. I could never abort a baby I was carrying, no matter how he or she was conceived... including rape. Some would abort their baby early on, just because they don't want to be a parent. Very sad, indeed.


----------



## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Seiously Sufermiquel...in other posts, your writing is good prose and then in others it is as if you're speaking broken English.

C'mon...


----------



## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

keko said:


> If she has an ounce of common sense left, she'd send the kid with the father so at least he'll be fed and looked after "properly" instead of staying with the mother without a penny.


The child is her leverage. As long as she is in NYC with that child, she will probably be the custodial parent, and entitled to significant compensation from the OP's friend. Sending the child to Mexico with her husband would be like giving up the goose that laid the golden eggs.


----------



## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

domah said:


> He will likely end up losing custody and paying child support & alimony. That sucks, but as a man, he needs to suck it up and do it for his child.


As Dalrock might put it, "Man up and support those slvts."


----------



## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

PHTlump said:


> The child is her leverage. As long as she is in NYC with that child, she will probably be the custodial parent, and entitled to significant compensation from the OP's friend. Sending the child to Mexico with her husband would be like giving up the goose that laid the golden eggs.


I don't know if/what treaties there are between US and Mex but I don't see the mother getting the needed cash anytime soon. Maybe years if it's even possible. 

Can she hold out years waiting for child support?


----------



## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Surfermiquel said:


> Very valid and sad same time.
> 
> See known them entire marriage and him since childhood.
> 
> ...


So he is more concerned about feeding and clothing the child that if she aborted the baby everything would be ok? So he's just a cheapo with no dignity?

I'm going to throw up now, tell your friend to leave his child will be better of without him.


----------



## daffodilly (Oct 3, 2011)

mablenc said:


> I'm going to throw up now, tell your friend to leave his child will be better of without him.


Please go with him, too! Don't look back!


----------



## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

keko said:


> I don't know if/what treaties there are between US and Mex but I don't see the mother getting the needed cash anytime soon. Maybe years if it's even possible.
> 
> Can she hold out years waiting for child support?


I don't know the legal specifics. But one thing is certain. If she gives up the child and allows him to leave with her husband, she will never see a dime. If she keeps him, there's a chance.

Maybe the husband will send payments from Mexico to benefit the child. Maybe, if he doesn't, he will eventually miss the child and be compelled to negotiate a settlement in order to gain access to the child.


----------



## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

She cant abort. The pregnancy is too far along.

He can move to Mexico. Take his child with him.

Can he get his divorce in Mexico? Is it fairer to him there?

If he does not clean up the legal mess in the US, he may have trouble getting back to the US in the future. For example, if he owes child support, the border agents will retain him.


----------



## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

He cant really hide in Mexico either. His wife knows he has a condo there.

The wife is now staying with the inlaws. Is there reason to suspect that the inlaws wont take care of her and her new child?

Your friend or his wife needs to tell the other man's wife now. Stop delaying that.


----------



## Surfermiquel (Apr 22, 2013)

Aug,

No hiding requred our countries do not share support ot matrimontial laws.

No they are caring for her and just might do it in the long run. They are good people.

He is gone this weekend, its going to be in her ballpark to do it.


----------



## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

lol, good english in one thread, broken english in another, you might need to see a psychologist about that little problem miquel..


----------



## Surfermiquel (Apr 22, 2013)

Bob,

Will do but as a senior its of no consequence.


----------



## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

It's you isn't it, there is no "friend" wow. Anyway please know that once you leave your child you will loose all rights. He will also hate you forever. Good luck in Mexico.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Surfermiquel said:


> Bob,
> 
> Will do but as a senior its of no consequence.


What, seniors don't need to be consistent or use good English?? :scratchhead:

I won't even touch what your friend is doing. Apparently if I get banned again it could be permanent.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Amp is a senior and he has consistent grammar


----------



## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Just for my own feeling of synergy what many of us suggested was for him to divorce her. 

I assumed when I suggested this that there was a reason a chold was not mentioned. I may have missed it but I figured this would come up. I did not address it because it would not have changed my mind on divorce.

So, what a man should do here IMO, is divorce her but support his child.


----------



## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

OP is banned.

I feel so used.


----------



## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

Surfermiquel said:


> So he should stay and become abusive or worse.
> 
> Wow people open your eyes, sometimes life is not fair and it is not in this case.
> 
> Some lose some win some in the middle.


So why not take his kid with him?


----------

