# Lonely and Embarrassed



## gabby101 (Mar 3, 2012)

I have been married for six years. Before we got married, my husband was affectionate and wanted to spend time with me. Once married, that changed. He began spending all of his time with his friends while I was left alone every Friday and Saturday night. He would not go out to eat with me, saying that we needed to save money and then I would see receipts showing that he and his friends (?) had gone to somewhere nice (bar or restaurant). We have since moved about five hundred miles from his friends and so he is not out all the time, but still has no interest in doing anything with me other than go out to eat. He will not go to the beach or explore the city/area with me. When his friends visited us, we did those things and he acted like he had fun. I know that many will say I should find friends and look for companionship outside of the marriage, but frankly that is easier said than done. I am 46 and most of my coworkers are younger than me. I am a little shy as well, so that doesn't help. On top of all of that, I am embarrassed for people to know that my husband doesn't want to spend time with me, to think that my husband finds me boring and probably doesn't love me. Is there something wrong with how I am thinking about this? I have never been in a relationship with someone who didn't like me. Is the only answer divorce? This is my second marriage and I swore I wouldn't give up on this on.


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## s.k (Feb 27, 2010)

Have you spoke to your husband about this. I dont think the answer is divorce I think you both need to talk to each other and you need to explain how his distance towards you is affecting you.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Well if your husband finds you boring then get un-boring. 

You are resisting doing exactly what will make you more interesting to him... you are resisting being an outgoing, happy, fun, interesting person.

Find things to do... join classes that teach things you like, join a group that explores things, or a hiking group. Even if you are shy, once in a group with shared interests it's a lot easier to talk to people. 

Start doing things. He will get curious about what you are doing and might even join you.

See if you can get him to take some kind of class with you.. .dancing, diving, whatever the two of you can agree upon.


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