# I'm married but going through a separation and she wants to stay married



## juce88 (Sep 6, 2012)

We've been fighting a lot and I'll make this a short thing...she decided that she's moving out I really don't want this because really Ive been trying really hard ti make it work and we were getting a long better but just 2 nights ago we had a talk and that's when she told me she was moving out..we're a young couple we have a 2 yr old boy and that's why I really don't want her to move out, I mean I do want to be with her but it's more about my son I can't imagine being without him...but she is still doing it she looked at apartments already.What I would like to do is to somehow make an arrangement about how long should we wait to go in another relationship because I don't want my son to see another guy as his dad or to get attached to anyone else. I promissed myself that I won't get anyone else and I mean I'm not saying it won't happen but not right now right now I'm gonna dedicate as much time as I can to my son, i was thinking we should at least wait til he is 5, he'll be able to understand a little better..what I'm saying is that I don't mind not seeing anyone but I don't know about her so that's why I would like to set an arrangement. Cause weve talked about this once a long time ago and she said that she wouldnt do that but even the strongest have weaknesses. HELP! how do I approach in a good and understandable way to make this happen? I think if we come to an agreement I would feel a little more ok with her moving out.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

You can't

The best you can do is to have a legal seperation (drawn up by a lawyer) and in it have it stated (for both of you) that they'll be no overnight guests of the opposite sex when the child is in the house.

Get to a lawyer and find out what your rights are


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## juce88 (Sep 6, 2012)

Hey Toffer thanks...she said that she is doing this cause it'll help our relationship, and I get what she is saying, sometimes we need a break but if we live together then how can we..so we're gonna try it out see what happens..but if it doesn't work then I will take your advise and use it...I heard that moms usually get custody of the kids cause they're the ones that spent more time with them so they know more about the kid than the dad but in our case it's been the same amount of time so...cause I worked all year last year and she was with our son all that time but now she's the one working and I've been with our son all this time...anyone know if that helps me a little??


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## MSC71 (Aug 1, 2012)

I doubt she is doing it to help your marriage as she says. Sounds like a B.S. excuse to make her feel better about doing it. Don't count on an arrangement that says she can't see anyone for the next 3 years. Not gonna happen. Probably better for the kid to go through this at 2 years old than it would be at 5 years old.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Moving out aint going to fix the relationship. If the idea is to fix the marriage, seems there ought to be some counseling agreement. If the relationship is ending, with or without a separation agreement, you and her both are going to end up seeing whomever you please. It's ugly and it won't be fun for your son, but that's divorce.


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## Troubled Spouse (Aug 13, 2013)

This post is several months old. Curious on how it turned out. Any updates?


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