# Angry Wife is she cheating?



## trendy44 (Jan 17, 2014)

Ok so a little background first. I have been with my wife 8 years, Married for 2 years. Overall our relationship has been good. I had a red flag from her when she first moved in. She was suppose to be in court for a ticket and I found out she was browsing the web looking at an ex's profile. That was in 2006. I dismissed it and we were very happy until 2008, when I messed up and left her for a month because I thought the grass was greener on the other side of the fence. We worked through that, I thought. Turned out she was resenting me for that for the next 2 years. So in November of 2010 I was feeling like something was off with her. I tried to talk to her but got nothing out of her. I woke up in the middle of the night with this gut feeling that something wasn't right. I put an app on my phone that is voice activated. I felt ashamed about it the whole day. I went to listen to it and the whole time I am thinking this is dumb. Well, I heard her having a Skype conversation with a male from her past. I was furious...and told her to leave. Unfortunately, I let her come back the next day and we talked about it. I figured eye for and eye, we have both messed up. Things were great after that and we decided to get married in 2011. I have had a hard time letting go of that Skype thing but I haven't been an a-hole about it. I have brought it up a few times, yes, I know I should have left that at the door before marriage. I have insecurities and trust issues which I am getting professional help for. Anyway, The last two years have been going well, we have been getting our money in better shape, we seem strong. She started a 3rd shift job as a 911 dispatcher a year ago. And we promised to make sure we spend time together. Well, this November I starting noticing less time together. Then December, more sleep, more Facebook,*Cell*Phone*out*of my reach, all kinds of things, the sex is non-existent. I asked her if everything was ok and she kept saying yes. Everyday for a month I was feeling that same feeling I had in 2010 when I caught her. Finally, I just got sick of her not talking and I flipped out and said a bunch of junk that I really didn't mean. After that we still were getting along, nice texts love notes, blah blah blah but still, a lot of things were weird, constant facebook messaging, sleeping 10 - 12 hours, losing weight, new clothes, makeup like crazy, and*perfume*to the moon. Her nothing wrongs quickly changed to things she doesn't like about me, stuff I did years ago, things she has never told me about. And within days it went to she doesn't have the answers. Finally, about a week ago...I had enough. I didn't yell, or say crappy things, I just told her she needs to tell me what is wrong. She finally says, I don't know, I don't know where we are going, I have so much anger with you right now, and starts telling all the things she is mad about. Everything was fine in Oct. and part of Nov. and suddenly all of these changes. I told her that if she is feeling this way and obviously can't talk to me then she needs to leave for awhile. She sometimes makes it sound like we are working things and other times it sounds like the end. But now for the last few days. She acts like we aren't together our minimal texts about the kids feel like a business transaction...and there is no end to this in sight. I am giving her space but feel like I am waiting for nothing, like her mind is made up. Still wears her*wedding*ring. The kids tell me she isn't eating or sleeping. I don't know what to think, is she just really this mad or is there someone else. I have more details but there is so much to write. This is a starting point I guess.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

The signs are certainly there as was discussed on your other thread. But I'm going to chime in on another note. You noticed her sleep time increasing when you were together. That is often a sign of depressing. She is in a job that is knows for high levels of stress and depression. 

She may have lost weight, started wearing perfume, etc. because there is someone she is interested in attracting because she is depressed. She could be subconsciously looking for the endorphins that make her feel better and now she is stressing out and not sleeping.

She may not be in an affair yet but I do think it's time to monitor her but also go for marriage counseling and ask if she is depressed and express concern. Tell her that you want to save your marriage but the only way to do that is with full transparency and MC and encourage her to see a doctor for a general physical and also depression.

If she is unwilling, then I foresee the end.


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## trendy44 (Jan 17, 2014)

Unfortunately, since i have told her to leave and think, because she wont talk to me, she does not want to do marriage counseling, she hasnt talked to me in 5days, any transactions with the kids is like a business transaction, texts are loveless. I became a stranger in her life since she left our home. She tells the kids that she is going to do her own counseling but, still has not attempted it. She gets mad at the kids when they talk about me or tell her they wish the would try harder like i am. She is a completely different person then the woman I married...like she has turned off all emotion. Things have been weird for a couple months but she is out of this marriage since leaving home.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## trendy44 (Jan 17, 2014)

Also, I have dealt with a lot of depression myself. I have since started therapy for it. Even when I was in my lowest lows, I always confided in my wife and she was always there to support. Never did I think about taking my problems to another woman. If this is how she deals with her depression, should I even continue with a marriage like this? I know, I need to ask myself this question. I am very true to my marriage and believe it is one of the most important commitments in life but, infidelity is a deal breaker for me...and I am not even sure I can work things out if she is only confiding her problems with another man. Marriage is treated so heartless, and godless these days...it just sucks.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Hi. I am the head of the CIA here. Until i get back to give you instructions.

DO NOT CONFRONT HER!!!!!!! Keep you mouth SHUT!!!

25 cheating wives and one cheating husband hate me. They just dont know it.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

At work atm. Ipads suck fortyping and my instruction set is now three pages long.

First estimate statistics:
Probability of:
Pre affair. 95%
EA. 70%
Full out fvck fest: 51%

Steel yourself. Its likely ugly.


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## distraughtfromtexas (Apr 25, 2013)

trendy44 said:


> Unfortunately, since i have told her to leave and think, because she wont talk to me, she does not want to do marriage counseling, she hasnt talked to me in 5days, any transactions with the kids is like a business transaction, texts are loveless. I became a stranger in her life since she left our home. She tells the kids that she is going to do her own counseling but, still has not attempted it. She gets mad at the kids when they talk about me or tell her they wish the would try harder like i am. She is a completely different person then the woman I married...like she has turned off all emotion. Things have been weird for a couple months but she is out of this marriage since leaving home.
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


How old are your kids? Seeing them so involved in your separation really worries me...
As for her, I think there is someone. Whether or not it's gotten physical is yet to be determined, but it sounds like there is someone to impress.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

So, she's being nasty to the kids, too? Might be a depressive illness? Be wary, and do follow Weightlifter's advice.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

It sounds like she's building a psychological case to justify an affair. She could already be in one or just seriously contemplating it. If you read threads here, you'll notice that women who cheat show a pattern of having the affair all set before they start to downgrade the husband.

I would do the snooping that weightlifter is going to help you with.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

OP here you go. Don't argue with this. Just get it done ASAP. Mouth SHUT eyes OPEN. Play dumb husband, hell apologize for being paranoid.

VARs and evidence

Your wife is acting funny. Her phone and email suddenly have passwords you don't know. She shuts down phone apps or changes windows on the computer whenever you enter the room. She is suddenly staying out until 2 to 5 in the morning. She has new single friends. She has lost weight and is dressing hotter to boot. Her ex contacted her 3 weeks ago and she wants “to meet to catch up at some public place” Any of this sound familiar? 

If you are reading this your gut is going crazy. “Relax”, in that there is a high liklihood that you are not crazy at least. “Your gut” is your basic instinct from the caveman period. There is something up with your mate. It is part of your mind built into you and in your DNA. You probably cant sleep. You are losing weight like crazy and are not hungry. Well if you are reading this and that is 90% of you reading this if its your first time... You are embarking on what is probably going to be the worst time of your life.

Chin up, yes I know it is damn near impossible to believe now, but I and the people at TAM here have taken dozens of men through this process. Some reconcile, most dont in the long run so be aware. Most of us hang around this grim grim place for a sense of “pay it forward” and “getting at the truth” Even in divorce, the long run the majority find love again... yes really. Often selecting a far far better future companion. Read poster BFF for a thread of disaster, divorce, recovery, and a new wonderful woman in his life. Younger and hotter, yes, but also one with better boundaries, often a far far better personality match. Oh and they get to go through that first time with her after the first I love you's have been exchanged. Just know, that for the majority, even if the marriage crashes, in six months, a year, maybe two you will wonder how you got so far so fast and how great your new life is. You will also be MUCH MUCH stronger as a person.

So. Here are your instructions. Do this now. I dont mean next week. I mean make something up within the next day and GET IT DONE! Not looking will only prolong your agony.
Rule 1 for this.
SHUT UP. Eyes open. YOUR mouth closed. confronting only makes them better at hiding. 
Rule 2 for this.
SHUT UP. Eyes open. YOUR mouth closed. confronting only makes them better at hiding. 
Rule 3 for this.
SHUT UP. Eyes open. YOUR mouth closed. confronting only makes them better at hiding. 

NO MORE CONFRONTS!! Play dumb husband for a bit. Dont drive her further underground! Soft confronts RARELY WORK AND ONLY MAKE GETTING AT THE TRUTH HARDER!!! THIS PROLONGS YOUR AGONY! NEVER give up you get your intel from the VAR. You tell her, you always got your info from a PI or someone saw them. Hard confronts with overwhelming evidence to crush all resistance are the name of the game.

Buy 2 sony ICDPX312 or ICDPX333 voice activated recorders. Best Buy sells them for like 50 bucks. DO NOT BUY THE cheapies. USE LITHIUM batteries. We have examples of 25 hour recordings using them on these sony recorders. My icon IS a Sony ICDPX312. No I do not have stock in nor work for Sony.

Setup instructions are on page 19. Also good stuff on page 31.
Use 44K bit rate for balancing file size vs quality DO NOT USE 8K!!!!! Simply put. The higher the quality the better the sound and 8K sucks. ALSO. The higher the quality the more you can manipulate the mp3 in Audacity.
Set VOR "on" see page 38
See page 40 for adding memory if necessary
Play with it yourself to get familiar. TEST IT OUT 
Turn off the beep feature. Its on one of the menus. You can even play prevent defense by going to a dollar store, buying uber-cheapie earbuds, cut off the buds but put in the jack which will actually disable the speaker for additional protection.

Go to Walmart and buy heavy duty velcro.
This is one item: Velcro Heavy-Duty Hook and Loop Fastener VEK90117: Office : Walmart.com
also
Purchase VELCRO Hook and Loop Fasteners, Sticky-Back, for less at Walmart.com. Save money. Live better.
The velcro is usually in the fabric section or less often in the aisle with the fasteners like screws. The velcro pack is mostly blue with a yellow top. Clear pack shows the vecro color which is black or white. 

Use the velcro to attach the var under her seat UP INSIDE. SECURE IT WELL!!!!!! So well even a big bump wont knock it off. attach one side HD velcro from Walmart to back. USE BIG PIECE
attach other side HD velcro again UP INSIDE car seat. 

ATTACH THE CRAP out of it. It needs to stay put going over big potholes or railroad tracks.
I recommend exporting the sound files to your comp. The recorder is very cumbersome for playback.

Put the second VAR in whatever room she uses to talk in when you are not around. If you are a typical man, use your size advantage to put it someplace she cant reach, even on a chair. Beware spring cleaning season if she does it.

Amazon has a pen VAR that can be placed in a purse or other small place to get remote conversations. Yes the pen works.

Usual warning. If you hear another man and perhaps a little kissing or... STOP Listening and have a trusted friend listen and tell you what went on. Knowing she is a cheat will kill you. Hearing her moan while another man is inside her will murder you to your very soul!!!!!! You are not strong enough to hear that. Dont try it. I know what I am talking about in this.

If you need clean up the recordings get Audacity. Its free from the internet. I have used it on var work for others here to remove things like engine noise. If needed, I have done var work for four men here. RDMU is the only one who has released some of the confidentiality. Read his second thread for my reliability and confidentiality. 

Lets be very clear about what the VAR is for and is not for. It will not be court admissible evidence. It is not for the confrontation. IT IS TO GET YOU AHEAD OF THE AFFAIR so you can gain other real evidence by knowing the who and when. NEVER MENTION YOUR VAR EVIDENCE. As far as the cheater is concerned, they were seen by a PI or something NOT your VAR!!

If your wife comes home from an alone time does she immediately change liners, change panties possibly even immediately laundering them?, shower? This can be an after the fact clean up. Amazon sells a semen detection kit called checkmate.

The ezoom GPS has been found to be easy to buy at Radio shack and useful. There is even a locator webpage you can track with.

Look for a burner phone. This is a second phone from a prepay service just used for cheating communications. That is often why wives let the husband "see their phone" The dont use their main phone for cheating purposes.

There is an app out there called teensafe. Its for both Iphone and Android. It monitors texts, GPS and facebook. Needs no jailbreak. Not perfect and delayed but no jailbreak required.

Look for apps on her phone like words with friends. It has a non traceable texting feature.
Here is a list 25 Apps to Help You Cheat On Your Girlfriend | Complex

If he uses chrome or firefox, there is probably a list of saved passwords you can look at. Even if his email isn't saved there, people usually only use a couple of different passwords, so one from the list might work. 

For firefox it's Tools -> Options -> Security -> Saved Passwords

For Chrome it's the little box with three bars in the top right -> Settings - Show advanced settings -> Managed saved passwords

If paternity is in doubt, (gredit graywolf2) SNP Microarray: Unlike amniocentesis, a non-invasive prenatal paternity test does not require a needle inserted into the mother’s womb. The SNP microarray procedure uses new technology that involves preserving and analyzing the baby’s DNA found naturally in the mother’s bloodstream. The test is accurate, 99.9%, using a tiny quantity of DNA — as little as found in a single cell. 

Credit john1068 01-09-2014
Is her internet browsers set up to use Google as the default search engine? And does she use a gmail account? If so, she can delete here browser history all she wants, that only deletes the history that is localbin the browser itself...

On ANY computer, navigate to https://google.com/history. Log in using her gmail credentials and you'll have all history right there. Cant be deleted unless your wife logs in this same way...she'd only be deleting Chrome, IE, or Firefox history, not the Google history when deleting within the browser itself. 

Credit rodphoto 01162014 
After researching the web for countless hours about software to find deleted messages on my wife's iphone I figured out this super easy method.

From the home screen swipe left to right until the spotlight page appears. Its a screen with the key board at bottom and a box at the top that says "search iphone" type your typical search words, anything sexual etc... All past messeges containing the search word will appear on a list, deleted or not. You'll only get the first line but that is usually enough. Just busted my wife again doing this a few days ago!

Rugs: swipe left on your first page of the main menu.

"spotlight search" under settings -> general -> spotlight search has to show "messages" as ticked. 

Right here, right now: Taking screenshots on iOS devices -> hold down home button and press sleep button. The screenshot will be placed under your photo album.

Also there is an app to "stitch" messages like a panoramic photo, but only for iPad. go to app store and search "stitch". Damn it's 4 am. i need to go to bed. 

Note that this applies only to Spotlight Search in IOS 6 and lower. For IOS 7 running on Iphone 4 and 5, put your finger in the middle of any of the home screens and swipe downward. 

Type in the search string you want (telephone number, contact name, keyword, etc) and it will search every instance in the iPhone where that appears. 

You may FIRST want to go into the Settings>General>Spotlight Search and then check or uncheck the areas that you want to search - make certain that "messages" and "mail" are CHECKED or else your search will not look into these areas. 

The same info is on the spot light on the ipad too ! If the settings isnt checked off, you can find all the same history!


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## trendy44 (Jan 17, 2014)

Thank you all for your support and information. I believe it is too late now. She has turned leaving the house for 5 days to think into, we are separated, getting her own place and paying rent, and own bank account. She tells me she has been unhappy for awhile and our last fight drove her over the edge. Says she will help with the bills and is going to do her own counseling. I asked her if we are headed for divorce and she won't answer that question. I would think that a woman who told me a hundred times last week that she love's me and wants things to be better would at least try couples counseling but, nope shot that down, I can already see that her mind is made up. I'm not sure if she is cheating at this point but, to me it appears she is trying to ween herself off of our marriage and is likely talking to someone...hence the constant FB messages on her phone. Our data plan for our phones has tripled in the last 2 months. She knows not to use computers and no texting or calling. She has played a game similar to this before we were married. I think I have my answers. I have grieved for a month before she left because my gut told me what was already to come. I will hurt more in the future undoubtedly. It's too bad our children will have to deal with this. Her kids are 12 & 14, mine is 9. But I have been with them so long, they are all mine to me. I will keep my eyes open for now in case she wants to come crawling back. If she is seeing someone, there will be no coming back. I talked to her tonight and she sounds like she is being truthful about not having something on the side but, who says "yes, I am messing around". No one. Right now I need to get my finances in order while she is still paying part of it...I know it wont last long. Keep going to therapy and focus on me. A person can drive themselves nuts trying to figure everything out and honestly, figuring it out usually brings more pain and doesn't fix anything. At this point I am position my mind on me, my children, my health, moving on, preparing for divorce, and if I never discover anything fishy, and she wants to try things again, I will cross that bridge when we get there. Just nuts, yesterday having xmas with the kids, today living in separate homes. If she is seeing someone then, good luck...a person who cheats and a person who pursues married women are losers and have no values. She will just be following in her mother's footsteps and before she knows it, she'll be married 4 times and stuck with an alcoholic husband wishing she didn't make such crappy decisions. For now I have to keep working on me, I have many things that fixing with me as well...I have a great therapist. Maybe I'll just find out she isn't good enough for me anyway. I am no angel, not even close, but hardly bad enough that my wife couldn't at least put an effort in. I hope she does go to counseling, she'll find out real quick what her problems are.


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## trendy44 (Jan 17, 2014)

Oh...yeah get this. I just had a Vasectomy Dec. 20th because she was on the shot and I was concerned about her health after being on it for so long. ...Sounds like love to me...How many husbands put their balls under the knife to protect their wives health. Geeez what an a-hole I must be.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

I'm so sorry.

They all sound truthful about having the OM/OW. They all seem to lie, too. It still is smart, in my opinion, to investigate and find out. It isn't over till it's over.


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## trendy44 (Jan 17, 2014)

alte Dame said:


> I'm so sorry.
> 
> They all sound truthful about having the OM/OW. They all seem to lie, too. It still is smart, in my opinion, to investigate and find out. It isn't over till it's over.





Oh...believe me I know. I dealt with this with my sons mother who was my fiance at the time before this relationship and marriage. I need space blah, blah, blah. You give them space and they suddenly begin to trash you...and everything is your fault. I am going to keep my eyes open but, I am not going to obsess about it because I'll just go nuts. I know there are husband/wives that leave because of honest unhappiness but, the unhappiness is usually noticeable for a long time and after all steps to repairing a marriage have been taken. The was seemingly overnight, at most a few weeks. When she did this to me before in 2010, she provoked a fight and blame everything on the fight. I found out later that she had actually called the guy she was planning an affair with a week before the fight. And like I said I noticed a lot of red flags prior to this fight with her. I am the type of person who gets away, jumps in the truck, heads downstairs, etc... to cool off. If I am followed and provoked, I tend to yell things that I don't really mean. I am not emotionally ready to see the truth even though my gut already tells me the truth. Either way I am finished with this marriage, I can't allow this woman to hurt me like this again and someday when I am fixed I will know what a good woman looks like, talks like, acts like, and someone who respects me.

I can't dig too deep because she is a 911 dispatcher and is likely having an affair with a cop. I'll end up getting in trouble and looking like the bad guy. 

I also talked to her last night about thinking what a divorce will do to children. I reminded her what divorce did to me as a child and how her mothers constant divorces affected her life. Suddenly she is fine with her mother and her mother's choices. Complete denial. She keeps telling me, the kids will be fine either way "I am putting all my time into their feelings and safety". She can tell herself this all she wants but, deep down she knows this isn't true. Furthermore, I won't have to dig too deep to find out if their is an OM because kids aren't stupid especially a 12yr old and a 14yr old. The 14yr old has a mind like an adult, very intelligent and very in tune with his mother's feelings. He is a momma's boy and he is very observant and I am the only dad he has ever had so he is not handling this well already. 

I have a great support system offline and I will definitely be utilizing this sight as well to cope with all of this.


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## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

She sounds messed up. 

Why would you end up looking like the bad guy and getting in trouble simply because he is a cop? If anything, he should fear the exposure. They both should.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

staystrong said:


> She sounds messed up.
> 
> Why would you end up looking like the bad guy and getting in trouble simply because he is a cop? If anything, he should fear the exposure. They both should.


Yes, there is a structured manner in which you can expose the OM. He's going to catch alot of heat because many of the departments do not want that type of attention. 

You have to be able to firmly prove the facts, and it helps if they used company property or assets to perform their sex acts or assist them in their cheatig. Also to show lack of responsibility during the performance of his job due to his proclivities.


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## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

Eh?

They make you fill out a form and submit documents? Are you somehow open to penalty if you make an accusation and can't prove anything? What are you able to show at this point.

It sounds like you did some research. Did you talk to someone at the department? Someone knows?


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## trendy44 (Jan 17, 2014)

staystrong said:


> She sounds messed up.
> 
> Why would you end up looking like the bad guy and getting in trouble simply because he is a cop? If anything, he should fear the exposure. They both should.


I am only assuming that she is cheating with a cop. She is a 911 dispatcher and PD, FD, and CNTY are her main sources of interaction on a nightly basis. I don't have solid proof there is an OM. Just a whole lot of red flags, and weirdness. I am leaning more towards PD because she made some unusual comments shortly before she decided to leave for "some space". You know, details that just don't make sense as to why she is telling me this. Such as:

"It was so funny tonight, officer blah put some funny notes in the system tonight...ah you just had to be there".

"I was thinking about going to the JPD Xmas party tomorrow night but, I don't really know many JPD officers".

Just irrelevant crap, like she is testing the waters, my reaction, or seeing if maybe I am on to her crap.

I don't know...all I know right now is that just before thanksgiving things to started slowly getting weird but I didn't feel it in my gut until December. After Xmas, things really took a dive, and by Sunday Jan 12th, suddenly I am the most terrible person she knows. She didn't hesitate to find a place to live once I said you should leave for a couple days until you are ready to talk. And that turned into this whatever this is...separated but no talk of divorce or couples counseling. I am just suppose to be in limbo until she figures out the plans for her new life. 

I did try investigating when she was living here but, she has gotten good at hiding stuff, she doesn't miss a beat. All the answers on her Facebook on her cell phone...But I had a better chance of stealing the Declaration of Independence then that phone. The phone was glued to her. I wouldn't be surprised if she showered with it.


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## distraughtfromtexas (Apr 25, 2013)

trendy44 said:


> I am only assuming that she is cheating with a cop. She is a 911 dispatcher and PD, FD, and CNTY are her main sources of interaction on a nightly basis. I don't have solid proof there is an OM. Just a whole lot of red flags, and weirdness. I am leaning more towards PD because she made some unusual comments shortly before she decided to leave for "some space". You know, details that just don't make sense as to why she is telling me this. Such as:
> 
> "It was so funny tonight, officer blah put some funny notes in the system tonight...ah you just had to be there".
> 
> ...


I interned at a PD in college. It was worse than a soap opera there. Seemed like all the cops were cheating, a lot of them with other cops or dispatchers. Just throwing it out there.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

She already had her exit planned. She either has an AP or advice from an experienced toxic friend.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> She already had her exit planned. She either has an AP or advice from an experienced toxic friend.


It's a friend who usually empowers her to climb over the hump to actual cheating.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Drive by her place at 11PM tonight and see what cars are parked there.

Sorry dude. With the latest thing. PA probability is now 80%. STEEL YOURSELF!


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

She is cheating. This is a tried and true script. She would be one in a trillion if she weren't given her behavior.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Btw do not be plan b. explain that being free means just that. Permanently.

Getting leftovers after a two month fvckfest is NOT an option.

I smell HTDs clone.


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## funfred (Feb 21, 2013)

She sounds like my wife. BI-POLAR. She can go from great to terrible at an instant if she's not medicated.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## trendy44 (Jan 17, 2014)

I know she is cheating...nobody does all this crap without having some kind of FkBuddy on the side to help them suppress all of there good memories, responsibilities, and loving feelings. 

I just can't believe this is the person I married and loved for 8yrs. Never thought she was this type of person. I am not a reconciliation type of person and I do not plan to start. I hurt for our children more than anything. It is just sick what kind of damage a person cause, just to get another mans D inside them.

Is it pretty common for people like this to come crawling back? I just want to be prepared for the lies. 

I am not sure where to go at this point. I assume go file for divorce first?

Should I try to get solid proof before filing? Infidelity doesn't mean crap when it come to divorce decisions in my state.


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## mtpromises (May 27, 2013)

You and your wife seem to hold grudges against each other which only creates a toxic environment. Why are the children so involved in all this? For their sake leave them out. You don't need solid proof of cheating to get divorced so go ahead and file when you're ready. IMO it sounds like you need to prove she's cheating so you can hold it over her head. Let it go and move on if that's what you truly want. You two are going to play this 'you hurt me worse by doing...' game for years to come if you don't get out now or go to some type of therapy and work on your issues. Good luck.


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## Blacksmith01 (Aug 12, 2013)

weightlifter said:


> Hi. I am the head of the CIA here. Until i get back to give you instructions.
> 
> DO NOT CONFRONT HER!!!!!!! Keep you mouth SHUT!!!
> 
> 25 cheating wives and one cheating husband hate me. They just dont know it.


Hey you can add my wife to that number and her posom too.


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## trendy44 (Jan 17, 2014)

mtpromises said:


> You and your wife seem to hold grudges against each other which only creates a toxic environment. Why are the children so involved in all this? For their sake leave them out. You don't need solid proof of cheating to get divorced so go ahead and file when you're ready. IMO it sounds like you need to prove she's cheating so you can hold it over her head. Let it go and move on if that's what you truly want. You two are going to play this 'you hurt me worse by doing...' game for years to come if you don't get out now or go to some type of therapy and work on your issues. Good luck.


Where are you coming up with this? The kids are always involved when there is a divorce/separation. And for your information, if I don't have solid proof that my wife is cheating...I would be willing to work things out when she wants to put in the effort. Please take your misinformation and negativity somewhere else...or maybe read the forum rules on treating people with respect. thank you, have a nice day.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

trendy44 said:


> Where are you coming up with this? The kids are always involved when there is a divorce/separation. And for your information, if I don't have solid proof that my wife is cheating...I would be willing to work things out when she wants to put in the effort. Please take your misinformation and negativity somewhere else...or maybe read the forum rules on treating people with respect. thank you, have a nice day.



Wow, you may have judged the advice disrespectful, but you are hardly neutral on this. It was a decent and respectful assessment of your first few posts. If you are looking for a pep squad, a public forum filled with betrayed spouses isn't going to give you the "give her the benefit of the doubt" cheer. 

Sorry you are in this situation, the advice you get that really stings or makes you snap a bit is the advice you usually need to pay attention to. Tell me to bug off as well. I can get you're stressed but that post was mild, and could in fact be worth looking at.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

OP what state?

Just making sure of infidelity rules.

Btw how old are you?


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## trendy44 (Jan 17, 2014)

weightlifter said:


> OP what state?
> 
> Just making sure of infidelity rules.
> 
> Btw how old are you?


Wisconsin. Age:34


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Filing for divorce.....at the very least will show her you will not tolorate her disrespect irregardless if you have proof of cheating.

I think having her served makes a statement that you are confident in letting her be her own person while you find someone that actually want to be with you and make you happy....and right now your kids diserve to have a happy father.

The way I see it the kids diserve to happy parent living apart rather then unhappy parent living together. So wish your wife the best and with a fake smil;e on your face just let her go.

See chicks like confident guys and often they want what they can't have so letting her go just might save this marriage.

With confidence and self respect your old lady just might find you attractive enought to start second guessing her choices.

And thats the thing getting her to think twice in what she is about to lose rather then having her think you ain't going anywere.

For your own emotional health...just let her go...it just might save this family.

lets face it she has already gotten a taste of the other side now its just a matter of time before she figures out that a relationship created out of deciet and lies is not a real relationship.

Again just let her go and the taste she has now for this new freedom will start to go sour...it always does! Thats why they call it the fog...once it clears the wayward has nothing left but regret.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

One more thing ....start raising your attraction level. Go out and meet people...that kind of sh1t drives waywards crazy.

Once they see they no longer have control over you then its no more fun for them...

Sure getting proof is great and having the card to expose it....but even with out proof you still have the card that we call self respect and lettting her go cuz she is no longer a spouse,a partner, a best friend, and a lover!!!!

Even with out proof of cheating she has in fact left the marriage with her emotional distance and secret behavior....you can tell her with a smile on your face that you diserve better and know there is someone out there that is more then happy to be a spouse to you, someone that is open and wants to be with you.

File
Show her you can let her go
Show her you can be a good father with out her.

It just might save this thing..if not then you are just that furtur ahead in moving on.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

The kids are always affected. How much information they are capable of handling and how you chose to handle it with them is another matter.

She's obviously not setting an example, you can. Shield them from as much as you can. 

Read up on the "cheater's script" you'll see she's already following the patterns that are all too familiar to so many of us. 

It's really common to lash out or get p!ssed at some advice. Then only after some distance and further reading. You realize that it is all so "common". 

Again sorry you are here. You have been given some solid advice.


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## trendy44 (Jan 17, 2014)

kristin2349 said:


> The kids are always affected. How much information they are capable of handling and how you chose to handle it with them is another matter.
> 
> She's obviously not setting an example, you can. Shield them from as much as you can.
> 
> ...


Thank you for the advice. I apologize to you and mtpromises for lashing out. No excuse. The pressure is paralyzing. The empty promises, broken dreams, scarred children, and financial setback is very overwhelming. I woke up this morning and told myself "This is not my fault" "Something better for me is on the horizon". I have week moments but I have begun the process of building my confidence and I refuse to be a doormat for her crap anymore. She called on the phone tonight to discuss when to bring the kids over. I was very confident and to the point. She kind of lingered on the phone for awhile, like she was expecting me to crumble. I did not fall victim to this manipulation today. It was hard but I felt good after the call.


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## trendy44 (Jan 17, 2014)

the guy said:


> One more thing ....start raising your attraction level. Go out and meet people...that kind of sh1t drives waywards crazy.
> 
> Once they see they no longer have control over you then its no more fun for them...
> 
> ...


You are exactly right. Thank you for the excellent advice. I have to stop ignoring the facts that are already in front of me. I need to gain control of me. I can't allow this person to have all this power over my life. I am going to go to the court house very soon and get this ball rolling. Thanks again.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

trendy44 said:


> Thank you for the advice. I apologize to you and mtpromises for lashing out. No excuse. The pressure is paralyzing. The empty promises, broken dreams, scarred children, and financial setback is very overwhelming. I woke up this morning and told myself "This is not my fault" "Something better for me is on the horizon". I have week moments but I have begun the process of building my confidence and I refuse to be a doormat for her crap anymore. She called on the phone tonight to discuss when to bring the kids over. I was very confident and to the point. She kind of lingered on the phone for awhile, like she was expecting me to crumble. I did not fall victim to this manipulation today. It was hard but I felt good after the call.



No need for an apology to me, but thank you. You are among "friends". It's going to be a long difficult road. We've been through it. Maybe not exactly. But we get it and we all deal as best we can. You are here, I think that's a good start. 

Take care of yourself (eat, sleep exercise boring and difficult but it helps). Have a good night , you have been given some good advice.


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## trendy44 (Jan 17, 2014)

kristin2349 said:


> No need for an apology to me, but thank you. You are among "friends". It's going to be a long difficult road. We've been through it. Maybe not exactly. But we get it and we all deal as best we can. You are here, I think that's a good start.
> 
> Take care of yourself (eat, sleep exercise boring and difficult but it helps). Have a good night , you have been given some good advice.


Yeah, I started exercising 2 weeks before she left because my gut knew it was coming. I eat when I am hungry because I am not hungry when I am suppose to eat...if that makes sense. Zquil does wonders for sleep. 

She dropped the kids off tonight and of course came in and lingered around for what seemed like an eternity. I stood tall, confident, and showed no weakness. I see her wedding ring has finally come off so, her and her OM must have moved to the next level. Papers will definitely be in order very soon. Not putting up with it anymore.

Hope the OM is there to pick her up off of her face when she lands in that dark place after realizing what she has done...because I won't be.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Serve her at work.


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## trendy44 (Jan 17, 2014)

tom67 said:


> Serve her at work.


Nice Tom, I like your style. :rofl:


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Ask your attorney about subpoenaing her cell, email records. You can find out if its someone at work. Bury him with his bosses and HR. Also, put him on chaterville.com. anytime his name is googled he will be exposed. Also, he may be married and jyst playing her.


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## Better Days (Oct 27, 2013)

Trendy, before I'd serve her papers I would try to get photos and whatever you can if she is involved with a cop. With her working as a dispatcher for the city no matter how big the city is you should be able to get him fired. Most places don't allow this when the spouse is married. I had a friend who went through this...he was a cop and another cop on the force went after his wife and he got dismissed. Really believe from what you've written she is cheating on you and you came to the right place coming in here for help. If you haven't seen Weightlifter's steps', you might want to check them out. His steps will really guide you. Wish you and the kids' the best of luck!!


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

Trendy

Act strong. And do not make her life so convenient.

Go make plans for yourself and leave the kids with her.

Go to the gym, go to the movies and when she asks just tell her you have plans with friends.

Definitely serve her at work.

And make her pay her fair share.

HM


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## jim123 (Sep 29, 2012)

tom67 said:


> Serve her at work.


If she is in law enforcement, it can be a big deal. If OM is as well, there will be issues.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

jim123 said:


> If she is in law enforcement, it can be a big deal. If OM is as well, there will be issues.


:iagree::iagree::iagree:
Exactly.
Having a sheriff's deputy going into a police station.
It does make a statement.:lol:


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## trendy44 (Jan 17, 2014)

Alright...good stuff...thanks everyone. I appreciate the good advice. I was not aware that this could be such a big deal within law enforcement. I will definitely check into it. I just have to figure out how to get her. Now that she is not living here it is a bit harder to track. 

Chaparral, can her Facebook records be subpoenaed? I believe this is where all of the interaction has been taking place.

How can I find out about the rules of conduct for law enforcement employees? Or should I leave that to a lawyer?


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

trendy44 said:


> Alright...good stuff...thanks everyone. I appreciate the good advice. I was not aware that this could be such a big deal within law enforcement. I will definitely check into it. I just have to figure out how to get her. Now that she is not living here it is a bit harder to track.
> 
> Chaparral, can her Facebook records be subpoenaed? I believe this is where all of the interaction has been taking place.
> 
> How can I find out about the rules of conduct for law enforcement employees? Or should I leave that to a lawyer?


Talk to a lawyer the first consult is usually free.
One day at a time bro.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

tom67 said:


> :iagree::iagree::iagree:
> Exactly.
> Having a sheriff's deputy going into a police station.
> It does make a statement.:lol:


It'll make an even bigger statement if you name the POSOM in the papers and also have him subpoenaed for testimony on your behalf.

They would pucker up so much you couldn't pull a straight pin out of either of their asses with a tractor.


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## jim123 (Sep 29, 2012)

An attorney will not pursue as it is out of the court system.

Your best tool is exposure. If one or both of them threaten you, you can file an order of protection which would mean termination.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

3putt said:


> It'll make an even bigger statement if you name the POSOM in the papers and also have him subpoenaed for testimony on your behalf.
> 
> They would pucker up so much you couldn't pull a straight pin out of either of their asses with a tractor.


:iagree:
Hire a PI if you have to jmo.


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## trendy44 (Jan 17, 2014)

tom67 said:


> :iagree:
> Hire a PI if you have to jmo.


Have any of you ever dealt with a PI? Do they stick you hard for cash?


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

trendy44 said:


> Have any of you ever dealt with a PI? Do they stick you hard for cash?


Explain your situation and shop around.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

OP do you have access to anything of her or even a prime suspect?


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## davecarter (Aug 15, 2013)

trendy44 said:


> I told her that if she is feeling this way and obviously can't talk to me then she needs to leave for awhile. She sometimes makes it sound like we are working things and other times it sounds like the end. But now for the last few days. She acts like we aren't together our minimal texts about the kids feel like a business transaction...and there is no end to this in sight. I am giving her space but feel like I am waiting for nothing, like her mind is made up. Still wears her*wedding*ring. The kids tell me she isn't eating or sleeping. I don't know what to think, is she just really this mad or is there someone else. I have more details but there is so much to write. This is a starting point I guess.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You're 'officially' separated since she moved out of your home?
This is exactly what happened to me back in November 2012.
She came home one day, _"I think we might be done. It's best if you move out for a bit and see where we are"_

6 weeks later, I find out she is in a 'relationship' with her OM.
The shocker?
I found out she was 'seeing' the OM just _6 days_ after I moved out of the marital home.
(as it was, she later confessed she was in a PA with him weeks before)

I don't want to scare you or make things worse for you, but please try and nip this in the bud, unless, you think your marriage might have run its course.

If so, your wife might be testing the waters for an 'Exit Affair'...


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## Better Days (Oct 27, 2013)

Talk with your attorney and see if he thinks a PI would help you if you follow through with a D. I know it would help you with going against the other man if he is a cop. People around them know she is married and no one is stopping it if it is going on. More than likely, he is married also. Shop around on the PIs' though. Most are very expensive but usually you get what you pay for. Their again, your attorney might be able to recommend one. Good luck - were all behind you!


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

PI's are spendy, so I think that since there is no chance to prove infidelity brfore the seperation your out of luck. However I do suggest you find who the OM is ...that might be worth the cost of the PI.

Talk to your lawyer and ask about "allienation of affection"
Also ask about a moral clause that will keep the OM ..or any "new" OM being around your kids when your old lady has them.

A PI might help you with Facebook and it might be cheaper then paying a lawyer to get them.


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## trendy44 (Jan 17, 2014)

This crap is so confusing...never thought I would be sitting here. I am trying to go dark and now she calls me like once per day to ask me some dumb question. I put on my "kind" & "confident voice" and get off the phone as quick as possible. She is paying for a place to live now, bought a bed, set-up the water bill, cable etc... I mean all in like 9 days of her leaving here. She keeps saying "stop telling people that I am cheating". I just say I really don't care what you are doing, I am moving on. I told her I tell people exactly how this whole thing came down and they can form their own opinions. 

She comes to the house when I am at work a grabs little things from it, fine its her stuff. She has abandoned all financial obligations in this home. And I have journals where I keep my thoughts and I noticed today that she has been reading them. I did text her today and told her that I am respecting her decision to leave, she needs to respect my decision to have privacy in my home since she does not live here anymore. 

When she does talk to me, and her actions, she seems done...over just like that. But why does she call me everyday now? Why does she snoop through my stuff? Why does she continue to keep driving me down financially and treat me like I am the problem? Why does she have to keep reassuring me that she isn't cheating, when I am not even asking her? 

Without her income, a PI is pretty much out of the question. I have to find other ways to figure it out. 

- I have so many confusing questions for myself. I love her! or at least who she was! I want her in my life. But, I also want to move on if we are done. I am not sure I can reconcile if that day comes and have solid proof of an affair. I can't reconcile without wondering about an affair if I never discover one. 

- I could serve papers, but that might make her think I don't give a crap and push her further into OM's arms.

Am I over thinking this?


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

trendy44 said:


> But why does she call me everyday now? Why does she snoop through my stuff? Why does she continue to keep driving me down financially and treat me like I am the problem? Why does she have to keep reassuring me that she isn't cheating, when I am not even asking her?
> 
> Without her income, a PI is pretty much out of the question. I have to find other ways to figure it out.


Be careful, you are dealing with a possible cheating cop. Not all cops are bad, but the cheaters are very underhanded. Search TAM and you'll realize he may be telling her to snoop to get something on you. If she makes more or is the primary bread winner, she may have to pay you spousal support and child support if you get custody. Best way to get what she wants is to make you the bad guy. Time to go buy a safe, one that can be bolted to the floor or secured in a wall, change all of your account numbers and protect yourself.




> - I could serve papers, but that might make her think I don't give a crap and push her further into OM's arms.
> 
> Am I over thinking this?


Push her further? Dude, she has her own a place, bills in her name and sneaks into your private books. Yes, she left, all things are now private and there is no expectation of openness. She is now spying and snooping. 

To put it simply, she is 9/10th of the way out, the OM is now 1/10th and really nothing. Not saying he isn't a big part of the mess, but everything she has done makes him minimal now. If everything above was the opposite, he'd be 9/10th of the problem.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

You need any logistical help let me know. People will vouch I am scary good at it.

PM at will.

Sorry bro.

Stealth stealth

figure it out and EXPOSE!


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## trendy44 (Jan 17, 2014)

You all have me thinking now...and honestly the more I talk about this, the more ugly and unidentifiable the woman become...still hard to choke down, yes...getting easier to let go of her, yes. 

The cell phones are in her name. I went and set-up my own plan and had my phone recycled. I changed all of my passwords to everything on internet. Changing my bank account tomorrow. Gonna work some weekends and prob talk to my lawyer soon. And...yes she does make more money then I do. Gonna change the locks this weekend. She has been trying to paint a picture of me for awhile now...didn't really see it at first but it is happening. 

She keeps saying that I am telling people she is cheating on me...not sure where the info is coming from. I have't told anyone that she talks to. I think she was getting into my FB. So I changed the password. Phone has been acting up too...so I dumped that thing...never know what these cops are doing.

She is getting real pissed that I am NOT getting pissed about all of this. 

Weightlifter...I might take you up on that offer.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

trendy, she might be trying to get you kicked out of the house with a false DV charge.
Watch it.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

She is already dictating how this will go:
You can't bad mouth.
You must keep everything private.
You can't say she cheated.

Yet:
She gets to come and go.
She gets to snoop.
She gets to tell people you are a bad guy.
She gets to rewrite the marital history.

As another poster in your situation found out, don't be second because you have hope. He was hoping, praying and defending his wife's actions right up until, he discovered she had a lawyer who was giving her advice. 
Another guy was doing the same thing, disappeared and came back to tell us he was served.

I am not saying lose hope, I am saying don't let it blind you into worrying about things you can't control like this:


> I could serve papers, but that might make her think I don't give a crap and push her further into OM's arms.


On a pretend scale of "don't give a crap" which is worse, leaving the marital home when your spouse wants to work things out or serving the person that left?


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

VAR. But she is not living at home and you cannot get to her car.


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## davecarter (Aug 15, 2013)

She's left. Moved out. And seems intent (and content) on staying like this.
What's the point of a VAR now? :scratchhead:


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

davecarter said:


> She's left. Moved out. And seems intent (and content) on staying like this.
> What's the point of a VAR now? :scratchhead:


Embarrass the OM. Exposure. Many avenues to take.


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## CASE_Sensitive (Jul 22, 2013)

Trendy, just want to confirm are all the kids staying with you right now? I'm a bit confused by your first post, did you say your kid is yours and her two are from a previous relationship? Did I get that right?


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## trendy44 (Jan 17, 2014)

tom67 said:


> trendy, she might be trying to get you kicked out of the house with a false DV charge.
> Watch it.


She can try all she wants...but she isn't gonna get me. Also the house is in my name & and sons mother's name. Thanks for the heads up though...could be trying to do if for other reasons as well.


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## trendy44 (Jan 17, 2014)

CASE_Sensitive said:


> Trendy, just want to confirm are all the kids staying with you right now? I'm a bit confused by your first post, did you say your kid is yours and her two are from a previous relationship? Did I get that right?


I have a 9yr old son from a previous relationship so my wife has been in his life all but 1yr. She has a 12yr old daughter and a 14yr old son. The 12yr old daughter sees her dad once per week. The 14yr old son's father abandoned him before I came along, so I am the only person he knows as a father. I see all of these kids through my eyes as my own.

Her kids stayed with me a few nights last week but, she said she will have them stay at her place this week so I can have some time to myself. Oh...so glad you are thinking of me, just what I need is time to myself. 

But...like she says "everything will be just fine for them".


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## trendy44 (Jan 17, 2014)

weightlifter said:


> Embarrass the OM. Exposure. Many avenues to take.


Yeah, it doesn't even matter if she comes back now...i am still a bit weak so I feel that I would cave to her crap...but then I think of the pure hell she has put me through. It is the principle of the matter. I want this wife charming POS located...so he can be exposed to everyone and she can finally shut her mouth about me "not-trusting", "always needed reassurance", and "irritability". Forever I thought it was just me...but I am seeing very clearly now.

Thing is, when she's not doing this crap, she is the nicest, giving, caring, loving, person in the world. Even my own brother thinks I am crazy. That is how good she is at covering this side of her. Everyone I tell says "I just can't see that happening". NO Sh--, but it is so open your eyes people. 

I have two people in my world that even believe me. Thank God for this site or I might think I was nuts.


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## trendy44 (Jan 17, 2014)

Oh, yeah and the latest...

I was on her phone contract so I went and bought a new phone last night. New Number, Contract, whole 9 yards. I text her today to give her my new number for child reasons. I just wanted to test her. She hasn't been using texts and calls to talk to her OM cause I have access to the account. She texts back "So, you have your own plan now, and you are off mine" I said "yes". It wasn't 3 minutes she had changed the password to her account. Wow...that's not fishy...cheaters can be so predictable.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

The next time she says you are telling people she is cheating, tell her you don't know who is spreading it around but you are hearing it too and its definitely coming from her work. Tell her you heard it's with a married cop. then go silent, refuse to answer any questions.

Its obvious she is or she would not be accusing you over and over. Tell her you could care less, you feel like she fell off the earth.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

trendy44 said:


> Her kids stayed with me a few nights last week but, she said she will have them stay at her place this week so I can have some time to myself. Oh...so glad you are thinking of me, just what I need is time to myself.


OH BUT SHE DID THINK OF YOU!

she just does not know it.
Wanna know who the OM is?
Have a good buddy?
Have him stake out her place those nights.

Get name, expose, GAME OVER.
Divorce
Get wife 2.0 who rocks your world in a few years.


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## trendy44 (Jan 17, 2014)

I am definitely not going to go crazy and stalk her...she'll get lazy and make a mis-step sooner or later. The damage is done to this marriage. 

Exposing really makes me smile though. :smthumbup:



weightlifter said:


> OH BUT SHE DID THINK OF YOU!
> 
> she just does not know it.
> Wanna know who the OM is?
> ...


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

trendy44 said:


> I am definitely not going to go crazy and stalk her...she'll get lazy and make a mis-step sooner or later. The damage is done to this marriage.
> 
> Exposing really makes me smile though. :smthumbup:


It involves a buddy driving by her place a few times next weekend and seeing what cars are there. Simple really. You KNOW when the next hookup is. The day she is trying to get rid of the kids.

Cheaters are remarkably consistent. We call it the script.


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

Trendy

When you look at how selfish your wife is acting why on earth would you want her back.

Let Her Go!

Stay dark and only communicate about the kids.

She is a fool.

Focus on you. Be strong. Be a great dad.

And show her every day for the rest of her life what she lost.

Change those locks. Take down those pictures of both of you.

She deserves no more thoughts from you.

Bury her in your own mind.

HM


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

trendy44 said:


> I am definitely not going to go crazy and stalk her...she'll get lazy and make a mis-step sooner or later. The damage is done to this marriage.
> 
> Exposing really makes me smile though. :smthumbup:


It's not stalking. It's called cutting through the crap and quickly. It's called taking control of your life. If some jerk hit your car and took off would you try to follow to get a license plate #? 

She's got herself covered and is looking out for herself, being much more creepy with you and she's the liar here. 

Change the locks (now) it's easy! If you are willing to pay extra, call a locksmith most have 24/7 service. I got electronic units put on all but my entry because the handles are hand wrought but I had the cylinder changed to the kind you can re key yourself. I also have a key locked lever set on my home office and MBR since I don't want pet sitters or cleaning lady getting curious. 

I figured it out and I'm just a girl


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## trendy44 (Jan 17, 2014)

Thank you all for the positive support and important information. I hope I never have to come on this forum again unless it is to help walk another hurt soul through this process. Something happened to me on Friday that is explainable but, I can clearly see my future...not sure what that destination is yet, but I know where the path is. 

I am a strong person and have been through a lot in my life and this is just another chapter in my life that has been written and no longer needs to be read. The last 3 days have been amazing for me and I really have to say...with all of the pain I have been through I have found happiness with who I am, peace, and a direction for me.

I knew this was all coming before it happened, so had chosen before hand to not fight it...and set-up all the support systems up I can and truly re-invent who I am for me. 

I am sure someday I will discover who this dirt bag is that contributed to this misery but, I know one thing for sure, my very soon to be ex-wife is the biggest dirt bag of the two of them. Karma is a B! My karma on the other hand is free...and it feels good. I am going to someday give a "better me" to someone who is "better to me".

I am going to get some boxes and start packing the rest of her crap in this house...my home isn't a storage unit. I am going to approach her very soon with getting a joint petition and handle this in an adult manner if she is willing. If not, then I will take divorce steps into my own hands. Thanks again everyone.

"Learn How to Love Yourself, and You Will Attract People Who Want to Love You!" Keep pushing on people...Life does continue and does improve but, you must have faith. Not only in marriage but in the world of life, just care about people...it makes you feel good...and you never know when you are going to need someone to help pick you up. Hold that door for the old woman that has her hands full, help that person who's car is broken down on the side of the road, and most of all give a sh_t...because we are all in this life together.


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