# size...I tried to laugh it off, but i'm so humiliated



## bobdc (Sep 15, 2011)

sorry for a "size" question....

however, i feel really bad and insecure about my size. 

my wife's friend, who is also one of my best friends, accidently blurted out somthing aobut my "small" size when we were out drinking! i asked her how she knew and she said b/c my wife told her! they looked at each other froze like deer in headlights and my wife said "sorry, bob, i tell her everything!" then they both laughed.

well, i tried to laugh it off, but i am so humiliated… 

what should i do? i am angry, embarrassed and humiliated that she told her friend and that they essentially lauged about it. 

please help! 

thanks!


----------



## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

Have you had a chance to talk to your wife about this? I would be mortified personally - as a woman, I guess it would be the equivalent of my H telling his buddy about how "loose" I was (I hope that's not what he does, because he hasn't told me if he thinks that). How long have you been married? Do you have a pleasing sex life with your wife? Has she ever mentioned it to you before? Or was this a total shock that she felt that way?


----------



## bobdc (Sep 15, 2011)

Cherry said:


> Have you had a chance to talk to your wife about this? I would be mortified personally - as a woman, I guess it would be the equivalent of my H telling his buddy about how "loose" I was (I hope that's not what he does, because he hasn't told me if he thinks that). How long have you been married? Do you have a pleasing sex life with your wife? Has she ever mentioned it to you before? Or was this a total shock that she felt that way?


We have not really talked about it. I am just too embarrassed to even bring it up! but at the same time, it's all I think about.

We've been married for 9 years together for 12. I thought we had a pleasing sex life, but now i don't know! Without giving too much detail, I think our sex life is good (frequent sex, she initiates often, she has orgasms - though usually from oral sex or toys or fingers and rarely from intercourse).

it was a shock! she has never said anything. I mean, I know that my size is not big, but I never thought it was an issue for her!


----------



## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

thats sad. sad that anyones spouse would joke at their expense. she should be mortified and completely embarassed at her actions. why on earth would she belittle you like that.

i am admittedly vindictive by nature, that is to say if someone cuts me they are getting cut back real hard. i would have brought up one of her shortcomings then walked away


----------



## jezza (Jan 12, 2011)

Bob...don't let your wife know what you feel about this....don't make a thing about it, But I WOULD go along with Cherry, to a degree. 
Talking about your sex life IN GENERAL with a good friend is fine, but the line must be drawn at the personal details. 
Don't ask your wife 'how would you feel if I told X you were loose?'...because she would start thinking 'am I?'..!!!!

Just tell her that your sex life is private. If she pushes you for more info give it...like maybe you think her telling her friend how often you do it is fine, whether you are circumcised or not is fine, what your favourite position is is fine.... but size of willy, how long you last, how tight you are etc is unacceptable.

Set the boundaries!


----------



## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

okeydokie said:


> i am admittedly vindictive by nature, that is to say if someone cuts me they are getting cut back real hard. i would have brought up one of her shortcomings then walked away


@ okey ~ You might want to explore what this type of attitude does to your wife and marriage. As a woman and wife, this would be very difficult for me to live with and I'd probably just shut down toward my husband if he was like that to me.

@OP ~ The best way it should have been countered would have been right at the time of mention - c*o*c*k*y smile and "Yah, but you should see what I can DO with it." Then you proceed to show her what you CAN do with it from that point on, so that she does not ever have the urge to say anything about the size, just that "WOW. HE is GOOD."

Since that time is passed, I think you just firmly tell her that commenting on something like your size is totally inappropriate and then give her the c*o*c*k*y smile and "I'll show you what I can do with it, so you don't have to complain about my size again" and then you just try and knock her socks off every time you have sex.

Don't let her get to you. Stand up and respect yourself and act like a proud man. It is NOT the size of the equipment that matters, but what you do with it. So do your best with it and have a proud attitude and you can't go wrong.


----------



## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

Enchantment said:


> @ okey ~ You might want to explore what this type of attitude does to your wife and marriage. As a woman and wife, this would be very difficult for me to live with and I'd probably just shut down toward my husband if he was like that to me.


so she gets to be a b---h without repercussions? read again, you draw serious first blood on me lookout. or should i let people run over me? not very manly


----------



## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

okeydokie said:


> so she gets to be a b---h without repercussions? read again, you draw serious first blood on me lookout. or should i let people run over me? not very manly


That's not what I was saying. 

A man can still stand up for himself and not be vindicative about it. Being manly to me means that you are compassionate, not vindictive. As a man you can be STRONG - you KNOW which things are silly things that are beneath your time and self-respect. As a man, you have STRENGTH of CHARACTER.

Look at the definitions:
_vin·dic·tive/vinˈdiktiv/Adjective: Having or showing a strong or unreasoning desire for revenge

com·pas·sion·ate/kəmˈpaSHənit/Adjective: Feeling or showing sympathy and concern for others_

Revenge is not a good foundation to have a marriage built upon. Dwell upon this quote:

“_An eye for an eye would make the whole world blind_.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi 

And then think about this one:

“_If there be any truer measure of a man than by what he does, it must be by what he gives_.” ~ Robert South 

Now go off and think about it.


----------



## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

The wife seriously messed up. Really. It would be bad if she mentioned this to him and him only. BUT she told her gf and this came out in a group of people. 

The answer was probably not for him to continue this discussion. I get the point about confidence but the gf and or wife could have just been backed into a corner where they felt the need to elaborate and joke further about this. Truth or not. So dragging the discussion out would be risky. I do agree if he could have pulled that off it would have been best. Then again this was not the time or place for this to be discussed. This blind sided him so I could see him just being ... WTF!?

Now the wife then added further insult by laughing about this. She could have done some damage control here, but chose to further humiliate her husband. If there were other people on the group then he will hear more about this down the road.

Confidence is very important. It is key. I only replied to emphasize that a wife doing such a thing is very demeaning to her husband. So given that the top two emotional needs of a man are 1) Sexual Fullfillment and 2) Respect / Admiration, she pretty much blew out the top two reasons forn them being married by this. Now add companionship to that list. Dang ... strike three.

All this said, what Enchantment is saying is very true and this is the road he needs to take.

Further more they need to sit down and duscuss boundaries. Because one was most certainly crossed.


----------



## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

Enchantment said:


> That's not what I was saying.
> 
> A man can still stand up for himself and not be vindicative about it. Being manly to me means that you are compassionate, not vindictive. As a man you can be STRONG - you KNOW which things are silly things that are beneath your time and self-respect. As a man, you have STRENGTH of CHARACTER.
> 
> ...


dont need to think about it. she needs her head taken off for that situation. quit trying to wussify men


----------



## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Enchantment said:


> @OP ~ The best way it should have been countered would have been right at the time of mention - c*o*c*k*y smile and "Yah, but you should see what I can DO with it." Then you proceed to show her what you CAN do with it from that point on, so that she does not ever have the urge to say anything about the size, just that "WOW. HE is GOOD."
> 
> Since that time is passed, I think you just firmly tell her that commenting on something like your size is totally inappropriate and then give her the c*o*c*k*y smile and "I'll show you what I can do with it, so you don't have to complain about my size again" and then you just try and knock her socks off every time you have sex.
> 
> Don't let her get to you. Stand up and respect yourself and act like a proud man. It is NOT the size of the equipment that matters, but what you do with it. So do your best with it and have a proud attitude and you can't go wrong.


:iagree::iagree::iagree:


First of all the average size of an erect penis is between 5 and 6 inches in length. So unless your erect penis is below that it really is not 'small'. 'Big' penises are statistically 'small' in numbers.

Check out this chart from a survey from Lifestyles condoms at Mr Average

You know what is far more attractive than a penis to most women? *Confidence*. You know what the truth is and that should be enough. 

*Your real enemy is not your wife and her friend's stupid and ignorant comment but your insecurities which you erroneously allow to define you worth as a man.*


----------



## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

so your spouse makes fun of you in front of you and her friend about what she sees as a physical shortcoming in the genital area, and he isnt handling it like a man? would it be different if he had another type of physical issue? would that be ok?


----------



## roymcavoy (Apr 15, 2011)

morituri said:


> You know what is far more attractive than a penis to most women? *Confidence*. You know what the truth is and that should be enough.


:iagree:

The fact is, she's still having orgasms, initiating sex, and likes it on a fairly frequent basis. Sounds to me like you're ahead of "the curve" on all three counts! I'd make a joke or two about it...and then, SHOW her how "small" you are by laying the wood to her. You could end-up being a big winner here!


----------



## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

Bob:

Like Enchantment said, it would have been great to have countered, "It's what I can do with it that counts." But I too would have been too stunned to come up with a snappy reply.

I would demand an apology from her. No one should ever be divulging details of their sex life to other people (except in anonymous Internet forums!). She screwed up big time, hurting you for no reason. She sounds rather immature and giggly. I hope she can feel true remorse, and I hope you can forgive her.


----------



## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

okeydokie said:


> so your spouse makes fun of you in front of you and her friend about what she sees as a physical shortcoming in the genital area, and he isnt handling it like a man? would it be different if he had another type of physical issue? would that be ok?


It's perfectly normal for any of us guys to be hurt by such thoughtless and hurtful behavior but to choose to wallow in it for longer than it is necessary is definitely not handling it like a man. Sticks and stones....


----------



## bobdc (Sep 15, 2011)

roymcavoy said:


> :iagree:
> 
> The fact is, she's still having orgasms, initiating sex, and likes it on a fairly frequent basis. Sounds to me like you're ahead of "the curve" on all three counts! I'd make a joke or two about it...and then, SHOW her how "small" you are by laying the wood to her. You could end-up being a big winner here!


Thanks! I think we are ahead on most fronts


----------



## bobdc (Sep 15, 2011)

morituri said:


> :iagree::iagree::iagree:
> 
> 
> First of all the average size of an erect penis is between 5 and 6 inches in length. So unless your erect penis is below that it really is not 'small'. 'Big' penises are statistically 'small' in numbers.
> ...



Thanks! I agree on confidence. I've always been very confident, but now, I have to admit I'm a bit shaken!


----------



## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

This type of communication with her friends should be unnacceptable, and I think you have every right to tell your wife that you can't let it rest until she understands.

There are certain things about my wife that she would be mortified if others knew, and things about my past that I would never want her to tell another person. I think we all have these. Would your own wife be okay if you told your friends her secrets? Maybe about how loose she was after childbirth? Of course not.

Isn't this what marriage is supposed to be about?

I do think, however, that she could use this as a very valuable lesson. The two of you can grow closer from this if you don't hold onto the resentment, and IF she sees that it was wrong. Maybe you let her know that if she doesn't understand, you will have to write her out of certain portions of your life. If her friends will learn of your secret aspirations for career, retirement, goals, etc, then you'll just begin to keep all of this apart. Carry it to the logical extreme with seperate accounts, etc. Don't be vindictive, but use it as a dead serious example of the logical extreme of her actions.


----------



## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

morituri said:


> It's perfectly normal for any of us guys to be hurt by such thoughtless and hurtful behavior but to choose to wallow in it for longer than it is necessary is definitely not handling it like a man. Sticks and stones....


there are dealbreakers, thats real close to one if not spot on it.

we joke alot in my house, its common. i can take just about anything when it comes to joking around, even when there is a hint of truth in it. my wife has sided with friends or siblings when they start to jokingly rag on me, and i dont really have a problem with it. but THAT is out of bounds bigtime


----------



## bobdc (Sep 15, 2011)

Halien said:


> This type of communication with her friends should be unnacceptable, and I think you have every right to tell your wife that you can't let it rest until she understands.
> 
> There are certain things about my wife that she would be mortified if others knew, and things about my past that I would never want her to tell another person. I think we all have these. Would your own wife be okay if you told your friends her secrets? Maybe about how loose she was after childbirth? Of course not.
> 
> ...


Thanks, Hailen! Great advice.
I feel so humiliated and embarrassed!


----------



## bobdc (Sep 15, 2011)

Enchantment said:


> @OP ~ The best way it should have been countered would have been right at the time of mention - c*o*c*k*y smile and "Yah, but you should see what I can DO with it." Then you proceed to show her what you CAN do with it from that point on, so that she does not ever have the urge to say anything about the size, just that "WOW. HE is GOOD."
> .


Great advice! I wish i thought of that! I was too stunned 
but yes, i think your approach is the best. I'll tell her, then I'll take her to limits and beyond


----------



## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

if your able to take her to the limits and beyond, why would she joke about it?


----------



## IanIronwood (Jan 7, 2011)

Enchantment said:


> That's not what I was saying.
> 
> A man can still stand up for himself and not be vindicative about it. Being manly to me means that you are compassionate, not vindictive. As a man you can be STRONG - you KNOW which things are silly things that are beneath your time and self-respect. As a man, you have STRENGTH of CHARACTER.
> 
> ...


You don't have to be vindictive to let her know that she PISSED YOU OFF pretty seriously. You can even make her feel bad about it -- heck, shouldn't she feel bad about it?

I mean, if he started discussing their intimate details with his friends, she would likely be (justifiably) livid. Yet one more example of the sexual double standard: women can say just about anything they want with "the girls", but guys can't do that without getting crucified.

And ladies? You don't diminish the penis. Ever. Never. Not once. Not even in your thoughts. Not if you have an ounce of respect for the male attached to it.

Ever.


----------



## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

I would get your wife and her friend together for a little chat and in a calm, quiet and respectful tone ask them how would they feel if you and a male friend did the same to them? and just sit back and stare back in stoney silence at them. If they have any remorse they will apologize to your profusely for their hurtful behavior. But if they try to laugh it off and tell you that you are making a big deal out of nothing, then tell them _"Fair enough. If you think it's no big deal, then I will tell my male friends about your personal body parts so that we can have a good laugh as well."_ and leave them alone to ponder your thoughts. *Remember, women tend to be much more insecure than men about their body image.*


----------



## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

morituri said:


> I would get your wife and her friend together for a little chat and in a calm, quiet and respectful tone ask them how would they feel if you and a male friend did the same to them? and just sit back and stare back in stoney silence at them. If they have any remorse they will apologize to your profusely for their hurtful behavior. But if they try to laugh it off and tell you that you are making a big deal out of nothing, then tell them _"Fair enough. If you think it's no big deal, then I will tell my male friends about your personal body parts so that we can have a good laugh as well."_ and leave them alone to ponder your thoughts. *Remember, women tend to be much more insecure than men about their body image.*


well, it sounds a little vindictive to me, and i like the idea


----------



## IanIronwood (Jan 7, 2011)

okeydokie said:


> well, it sounds a little vindictive to me, and i like the idea


If it's not about revenge, then it's not vindictive. This is an important point of respect. She hurt him deeply, and she needs to know that such things are off-limits, if she loves him. And if she tries to laugh it off again and diminish the importance of his feelings . . . well, then he's learned something very important about her and his relationship.


----------



## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

The trouble with getting the wife and friend together is they will form a defense team, and think that Bob is too sensitive and touchy. I favor making the wife understand how hurtful this was, and getting an apology from her.


----------



## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

I am wondering... not excusing what happened for sure... but just because she thinks it isn't the hugest tool ever doesn't mean she was criticizing or doesn't like it, right?? Without hearing the actual comments etc. it is hard to get how it was said and the like.


----------



## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

I would express severe displeasure with her actions not from a "i'm insecure because my unit is small" perspective, but from a the perspective that she is an inferior wife becuase she would betray her husband and her marriage in that way.


----------



## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

lovesherman said:


> The trouble with getting the wife and friend together is they will form a defense team, and think that Bob is too sensitive and touchy. I favor making the wife understand how hurtful this was, and getting an apology from her.


I agree, that probably is a better scenario.


----------



## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

I can`t believe how many of you guys are recommending he have even more sex and try to make it better with her as if he has something to prove.

**** that.

She`d be lucky if she ever got any from me after that ****.
It would take some serious ass kissing before she even got her hand held.

I honestly wouldn`t be with a woman who disrespected her husband and marriage in such a way.

When the giggling started I would have told her that I could`t understand why she had a problem with my size since so & so at the office is loving it every Tues & Thurs on our lunch hour.

I cut back, deeper, faster, and harder and don`t tell me this can only hurt the marriage because that kind of disrespect would have at least come close to destroying it for me anyway.


----------



## kelevra (May 19, 2011)

I'd have to hear her response to him in private before I initiated action, the power to exersise control over your emotions in such situations shows confidence. Even though many hurtful smart ass rebutles have come to mind, I still believe delaying any action until you have regained your cool calculating composure will prove most beneficial. IF you give her the CHANCE to apoligize and it is not acceptable to YOU that will be a whole new scenerio. That would be made clear ... crystal clear. Only then would she have to be shown HER place.


----------



## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

lisa3girls said:


> I am wondering... not excusing what happened for sure... but just because she thinks it isn't the hugest tool ever doesn't mean she was criticizing or doesn't like it, right?? Without hearing the actual comments etc. it is hard to get how it was said and the like.


I just can't see how sharing this detail with the gf is in anyway respectful to him or his marriage. To me, the laughter after they admitted sharing these secrets would be the clincher.


----------



## 30somethingmale (Aug 25, 2011)

i guess i'm "different", but i don't see what the big deal is about this. did she say anything about not being satisfied? or about his size being a "problem"? no.

and honestly, even if she did, i STILL personally don't see waht the big deal is. i would let it roll off my back, and never thought of it again. OR, if it was in joking/silly, like it sounds like it was, i would have said something back, equally as jokingly/silly. like, "no baby, it's not small, it's your cavernous vagina that makes it look that way, i heard it's playing the batcave in the new batman movie." and then high fived myself and taken a shot. not to be vindictave, but to be funny, and keep the convesation funny, and jokingly, and not so damn serious and hurtful. BUT then again, this is how i am, and how my wife and i are together. it's funny for us. silly. harmless. 

my wife has small breasts. guess what, i like small breasts. i can still, and i DO kid her about her small breasts. it's funny. we have that kind of relationship. i have told her friends about my penis and said, "well, it's not long, but at least it's skinny." and then my wife will say something equally stupid like "yeah, skinny like a fox!"

it's funny. who really cares about penis size? it cracks me up that it bothers anyone at all. is it big enough to fit inside of a vagina? is it big enough to carry semen thru the end of it, and get off? then it's big enough.


----------



## roymcavoy (Apr 15, 2011)

30somethingmale said:


> i guess i'm "different", but i don't see what the big deal is about this. did she say anything about not being satisfied? or about his size being a "problem"? no.


:iagree:

Don't make a mountain out of a molehill. Confidence!


----------



## bobdc (Sep 15, 2011)

lovesherman said:


> The trouble with getting the wife and friend together is they will form a defense team, and think that Bob is too sensitive and touchy. I favor making the wife understand how hurtful this was, and getting an apology from her.


Yes. I do not need or want another group discussion.
Besides, it has nothing to do with her friend. Just the 2 of us!


----------



## bobdc (Sep 15, 2011)

lisa3girls said:


> I am wondering... not excusing what happened for sure... but just because she thinks it isn't the hugest tool ever doesn't mean she was criticizing or doesn't like it, right?? Without hearing the actual comments etc. it is hard to get how it was said and the like.


i think you are right lisa3girls! i think my wife is "happy" with my penis even though it is not very big. we are married after all and have a (relatively) active sex life!


----------



## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

guy goes to a ***** house and picks the hottest girl to go upstairs with.

after undressing the girl says laughing who you going to please with that little thing? 

the guys says with a smile ................................ME.


this thread reminded me of this joke.




to the women that say whats the big deal.



if you in were in a bar and your husband and a friend were luaghing and you ask what they were laughing about and they said how big your rear end was.

would that make you feel loved and desirable?


she was wrong in sharing with her friend and then laughing in his face about it. this woman is just mean.


----------



## bobdc (Sep 15, 2011)

chillymorn said:


> guy goes to a ***** house and picks the hottest girl to go upstairs with.
> 
> after undressing the girl says laughing who you going to please with that little thing?
> 
> ...



thanks, chilly!
yes it was mean for sure. i am a little embarrassed about the size, but the main issue is that it just mad me feel bad and i thought it was mean.
thanks for getting it


----------



## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Dear in the headlights look? Hmmmm I wonder if those 2 are sharing a dark secret.


----------



## MarriedTex (Sep 24, 2010)

bobdc said:


> thanks, chilly!
> yes it was mean for sure. i am a little embarrassed about the size, but the main issue is that it just mad me feel bad and i thought it was mean.
> thanks for getting it


Your wife is so clearly in the wrong here, it is unfathomable how she didn't come to you at the first private moment you had to apologize. 

You need to confront her, let her know how much her comments hurt. She got a few laughs with the neighbors talking about your size. How droll. She may try to pass it off as no big deal, but - if she really thought it didn't matter to you - it's quite telling that she never brought up the subject with you. She knows it would hurt you and she brought it up with the neighbor anyway for a good girl chuckle. I wouldn't be embarrassed. I'd be enraged!

What else has she told the neighbors that she hasn't shared with you? Do you make enough money for her tastes? Are you a humorless twit? Is she upset that your hair is thinning? 

The things people say when they don't think others are listening are the most telling - of their character, not yours. Set a firm and undeniable boundary that you are no longer interested in being the butt of the jokes she makes with giggly girlfriends. Her first reaction tells you she knows that she's wrong, and you have to hammer home the point that her behavior is totally disrespectful to you and has no place in a loving marriage/partnership.


----------



## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

MarriedTex said:


> Your wife is so clearly in the wrong here, it is unfathomable how she didn't come to you at the first private moment you had to apologize.
> 
> You need to confront her, let her know how much her comments hurt. She got a few laughs with the neighbors talking about your size. How droll. She may try to pass it off as no big deal, but - if she really thought it didn't matter to you - it's quite telling that she never brought up the subject with you. She knows it would hurt you and she brought it up with the neighbor anyway for a good girl chuckle. I wouldn't be embarrassed. I'd be enraged!
> 
> ...


I disagree with having a huge confrontation with her.


all that would do is give her more stuff to talk to her girl friend about. I can hear it now ..oh my god he was so pissed off about the penise size thing the other night. bla bla bla.


I would sit her down and tell her you lost trust in her and were suprised that she would share such info with her friends. and then I would say I guess I can tell my friends stuff also and then drop it like a cold potato.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

“You boys measured your penis length. The truth is, it doesn’t really matter. What does matter is: length times diameter, plus weight over girth, divided by angle of of the tip squared.”

Randy Marsh on South Park


----------



## MarriedTex (Sep 24, 2010)

chillymorn said:


> I disagree with having a huge confrontation with her.
> 
> 
> all that would do is give her more stuff to talk to her girl friend about. I can hear it now ..oh my god he was so pissed off about the penise size thing the other night. bla bla bla.
> ...


Hey, ya feel what ya feel. BobC feels "humiliated" by this. It needs to be address No point in sweeping it under the rug. He's got to have a blow-out on this one or have it lurking in the back of his mind for the next decade. 

I vote for openness and communications. If you're hurt by this, ya gotta let her know.


----------



## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

okeydokie said:


> dont need to think about it. she needs her head taken off for that situation. quit trying to wussify men


La - I should have clarified this in my post. The post I did on vindictive/compassion was meant just for you, okey, in response to your comment about being vengeful in your marriage. Didn't mean it for the OP in response to this issue with his wife. My original advice to him still stands.

And I love the word you made - wussify. 

But no man can be wussified unless he allows it. So, as men, don't allow your wife to wussify you. Stand up for the respect you deserve (assuming you DO deserve it). And I would give this same advice to a wife whose husband berates or humiliates her.


----------



## bobdc (Sep 15, 2011)

Enchantment said:


> La - I should have clarified this in my post. The post I did on vindictive/compassion was meant just for you, okey, in response to your comment about being being vengeful in your marriage. Didn't mean it for the OP in response to this issue with his wife.
> 
> And I love the word you made - wussify.
> 
> But no man can be wussified unless he allows it. So, as men, don't allow your wife to wussify you. Stand up for the respect you deserve (assuming you DO deserve it). And I would give this same advice to a wife whose husband berates or humiliates her.


thanks, enchantment! i never felt "wussified" before, but i sort of do now UGH!!!! Its crazy how this has eroded my confidence a little bit. i was so confident before!!!


----------



## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

MarriedTex said:


> Hey, ya feel what ya feel. BobC feels "humiliated" by this. It needs to be address No point in sweeping it under the rug. He's got to have a blow-out on this one or have it lurking in the back of his mind for the next decade.
> 
> I vote for openness and communications. If you're hurt by this, ya gotta let her know.


everybody is different.

if you have to ask for an apology is it really an apololgy?

she knows it hurt him and if she don't then shame on her


----------



## bobdc (Sep 15, 2011)

WhiteRabbit said:


> :soapbox:
> 
> i have a friend who is constantly complaining to me about how crappy her husband is in bed,how he sticks his d*ck into like he's stirring soup or something...
> 
> ...


thank you! that is the rant i need to have


----------



## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

bobdc said:


> thanks, enchantment! i never felt "wussified" before, but i sort of do now UGH!!!! Its crazy how this has eroded my confidence a little bit. i was so confident before!!!


So, have it out with her. You should let her know in no uncertain terms that it's unacceptable for her to talk like that about you. Let her know what YOUR boundaries are in regards to discussing personal information with others. Then keep knocking it out of the ballpark with her.  Continue to act like the man that you want to be from now and going forward and your confidence will take flight.

There was another thread this week from a young, unmarried guy worried about the size of his equipment. I'll say here what I said there - the size of your equipment does not matter - it's what you do with it that matters and how you handle yourself that is important.

Be a man that she can't help but respect and look up to, and she will start to be the one feeling contrite about what she said.

Best wishes.


----------



## Voiceofreason (Mar 6, 2011)

There are several layers to be unpeeled here:

First, she was WAY out of line discussing the size of your package with her friend. She has very serious boundry issues. 

For the girlfriend to tease you about the size of your package, and your wife to laugh, is just breathtaking in its cruelty and out of bounds nature.

For your wife not to apologize afterwards is also a significant issue. It shows she is either completely oblivious that she stepped onto the hot rail of emasculating you, or that she is someone who won't own up to her mistakes and make them right. By its very nature, what was said to you was inherently damaging, and she should have tried to make it right.

By trying to laugh it off, or show her that you are a great lover by redoubling your efforts in the bedroom, you just validate what she did. 

I disagree about vengence, or a cutting hurtful action in response. That is just juvenile and makes things worse, possibly leading to a snipping war.

My suggestion. Pick a good time and tell her:
--You were stunned and deeply hurt that she would tell her girlfriend that you are small
--You were also appalled by her lack of any acknowledgement of what she did, how she hurt you and the lack of any apology or show of remorse
--You now have serious trust issues with her that she would violate your level of intimacy by sharing that most private and emasculating information with someone else
--Does she have any idea how emasculating that was?
--You can now only presume that anything between you and her will be shared with others and you need to act accordingly
--Demand to know exactly what she had said to girlfriend and the context and who else she has discussed your package or lovemaking with
--Tell her that if she so much as breathes another word of this issue with anyone else, including and especially her girlfriend, you will act accordingly in all your dealings with her and she won't like the consequences
--Ask her what SHE intends to do to fix it and tell her to take a day and think about it before she responds--tell her that she needs to own what she did, satisfy you that she wants you as a lover**, and satisfy you that this will never happen again/she will never discuss your personal issues with others....EVER 

Not suggesting that you act weak or insecure. Be stern and under control angry. You will not tolerate this and she needs to satisfy you that she gets it and will not repeat it. This includes any other personal info that is none of her friends' business. _She needs to own what she did._ You can and should feel just fine about your sexuality and ability to please a woman--the problem is with her lack of respect and boundries.

**this may result in HER going out of her way to make you feel attractive, which could be....fun!

Just my two cents...


----------



## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Try to be more "in the moment" in the future. 

The moment that conversation, mockery and laughter took place was your 'moment' to bring the thunder ... hard. Particularly on the 'friend' ... her willingness to make that statement directly to you speaks volumes about her character. Bad enough from your wife. For your wife's friend to think that is even REMOTELY acceptable to bring up is unbelievable.
And if you aren't comfortable with confrontation, then you need to find something equally effective that sends the message in no uncertain terms that her and her friend's behavior is utterly and without question unacceptable.

The 'moment' may be gone. I don't know what has transpired emotionally between the two of you since that occurrence. 

Best suggestion I can make? Simply make the boundary and limitation clear, calmly, and if you can pull it off, with extreme edge:
"The next time you want to have a joke at my expense with your friend? Don't."

Do not say another word beyond that. She will want to know what you are talking about ... she knows damn well what the reference is to. She will want to 'discuss it' or worse, minimize it. 

You have said all that needs to be said. It isn't open for discussion.

Don't claim that she hurt your feelings. Don't act wounded or like a kicked puppy. 

And should her friend think it is funny to bring up again? You lay into her like a friggin hurricane. If she thinks you are just going to 'take' that sort of thing, you need to make it unequivocally clear that you will not.

And I agree with the others, if you have not already done so, or have not had steamy, lovey, passionate sex since that event, I'd turn down the thermostat for a while. She owes you a very big, and very sincere apology.


----------



## Unsure in Seattle (Sep 6, 2011)

I know you're hurt (god, who wouldn't be) but I think Enchantment and Deejo both make some really valid points- particularly letting your wife know that it's not okay to make jokes at your expense. Don't flip out- don't rant and rave- just state it matter of factly.

Wow, what a rotten thing to do.


----------



## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

Smack her bum or dump her.


----------



## WhereAmI (Nov 3, 2010)

A conversation on boundaries is definitely in order. "I assumed that our sex lives were personal and not to be shared. I realize that we had very different views. While I might now consider talking to Dan about your shortcomings, I want you to know that I will not do so to make fun of you. I'm sure he'd keep the information to himself, but I suppose that's not a big deal either. Are we on the same page now?"

I highly doubt she'd agree to such a thing (might try to manipulate you with crying about her shortcomings, don't fall for it). Hopefully she'll arrive at the realization that she betrayed your trust on her own.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

WhereAmI said:


> A conversation on boundaries is definitely in order. "I assumed that our sex lives were personal and not to be shared. I realize that we had very different views. While I might now consider talking to Dan about your shortcomings, I want you to know that I will not do so to make fun of you. I'm sure he'd keep the information to himself, but I suppose that's not a big deal either. Are we on the same page now?"
> 
> I highly doubt she'd agree to such a thing (might try to manipulate you with crying about her shortcomings, don't fall for it). Hopefully she'll arrive at the realization that she betrayed your trust on her own.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It’s not about boundaries, it’s a matter of respect. She has no respect for him whatsoever. His life will be sh!te if she doesn’t respect him.


----------



## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

off with her head, no joke dude, i would have gone ballistic


----------



## Open4it (Sep 1, 2011)

Hicks said:


> I would express severe displeasure with her actions not from a "i'm insecure because my unit is small" perspective, but from a the perspective that she is an inferior wife because she would betray her husband and her marriage in that way.


:iagree:

That was all kinds of wrong.


----------



## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

bobdc said:


> my wife's friend, who is also one of my best friends, accidently blurted out somthing aobut my "small" size when we were out drinking! i asked her how she knew and she said b/c my wife told her! they looked at each other froze like deer in headlights and my wife said "sorry, bob, i tell her everything!" then they both laughed.
> 
> well, i tried to laugh it off, but i am so humiliated…
> 
> what should i do? i am angry, embarrassed and humiliated that she told her friend and that they essentially lauged about it.


They did not "essentially" laugh about it. They in fact laughed in your face about it. You have every right to be humiliated because your wife disrespected you in the worst way. Your "one of my best friends" is also no friend to you or your marriage. 

You are clearly the butt of your wife's and this friends jokes. Now that you know it, you need to act accordingly. Man up and take strong action now. Tell your wife that you no longer want anything to do with this so called friend because of this matter and that she is not welcome in your home when you are there. Tell her that there is nothing more to discuss about this as she has clearly poisoned the well for you with this so called friend. Show them both that there are consequences for disrespecting you and your marriage like this.

Be strong and do not back down on this. Their comments are an indication of more that you do not know. You must reverse this and regain your wife's respect. Maybe after a few months, if your wife and the friend shows true remorse, you can reconsider. But do not let them know this. Trust me you must no let them get away with this or you will regret it. Let them know that you have self respect.


----------



## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

I don’t think you can convert a person like that in that she is not redeemable by any means fair or foul. She can be history though and she needs to know it in no uncertain terms.


----------



## MarriedTex (Sep 24, 2010)

Voiceofreason said:


> There are several layers to be unpeeled here:
> 
> First, she was WAY out of line discussing the size of your package with her friend. She has very serious boundry issues.
> 
> ...


THIS is the template to use. Sooner the better.


----------



## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

It actually could have been worse :

1) If there were other men there at the time.

2) If the two women brought this up in front of other men with him not around. In fact this is almost certain to happen if not addressed. At some point they will be drinking again and the subject will come up and the GF will say "yeah, small like your husband ..." or some such thing, joking around. If the right guy hears this he will use that as an excuse to hit on the wife.


----------



## lht285 (Aug 25, 2011)

I would start to go down for oral on her, then say "My god, I just noticed what a big p#ssy you have!" 

Then I would continue on with what I was doing. 

I would "accidently" slip up and stick it in her other hole down there and when she screams I would say "Ah...so you thought I was small eh?" (This only would work if she does not like that)

I would also attempt to hook up with her best friend, and show her just how well you can use what you have.

In all seriousness, what she said was a huge put down. Not sure how I personally would handle it, but some of the suggestions I have up top might be an actual thing I would do.


----------



## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

lht285 said:


> I would start to go down for oral on her, then say *"My god, I just noticed what a big p#ssy you have!"
> *
> Then I would continue on with what I was doing.
> 
> ...


But with an echo.

... you have have have have


----------



## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

lht285 said:


> I would start to go down for oral on her, then say "My god, I just noticed what a big p#ssy you have!"
> 
> Then I would continue on with what I was doing.
> 
> ...


Honestly, if you want someone to respect you, then you have to take the high road and be a person who is worthy of that respect. I don't know that these suggestions would do that, imho.


----------



## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

Just taking public humilation from your wife will end any respect she has for you.

You need a very firm response to that.


----------



## Voiceofreason (Mar 6, 2011)

Atholk said:


> Just taking public humilation from your wife will end any respect she has for you.
> 
> You need a very firm response to that.


:iagree:

The person who you counted on the most in this universe to build you up, to support you, to have your back, and to be your advocate, instead chose to publicly humiliate you. She needs to own what she did and make it right. You need to demand this. Otherwise, you can expect a continued and worsening loss of respect and your dignity.

And speaking of dignity, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt 

May I suggest that you tell her you need to discuss something with her but to please let you finish what you have to say before responding, and then say something along the lines of my prior post. You need to draw a bright line in the sand for the sake of yourself and your marriage. There is something terribly wrong with the combination of betrayal, cruelty and lack of remorse she has displayed. Satisfy yourself that this is fixed or move on my friend.


----------



## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Call me paranoid but I sense something going on here other than a callous and humiliating comment. The 'deer in the headlights look' on both the wife and her friend's face could have been fear that you could have turned around to ask your wife *"Oh and how do you know that my penis is small? Is there another man's penis you been playing with behind my back?"*. And the laugh could have been a nervous and diversionary tactic to defuse an ugly situation where your suspicions would have been aroused. So did you see fear in both your wife and friend's face and was their laugh a nervous one?


----------



## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

morituri said:


> Call me paranoid but I sense something going on here other than a callous and humiliating comment. The 'deer in the headlights look' on both the wife and her friend's face could have been fear that you could have turned around to ask your wife *"Oh and how do you know that my penis is small? Is there another man's penis you been playing with behind my back?"*. And the laugh could have been a nervous and diversionary tactic to defuse an ugly situation where your suspicions would have been aroused. So did you see fear in both your wife and friend's face and was their laugh a nervous one?


Good point.


----------



## jezza (Jan 12, 2011)

...or you could get a 'penis enlarger vacuum pump' thingy... and make sure she catches you using it.

When she does she will no doubt be shocked - "well, darling, I'm clearly not big enough for you"...but say it with a bit of a sad/hurt look. 
She will feel absolutely terrible... You might well get that sincere apology and a fantastic Bj to boot! 
Then tell her that the nuts and bolts of your sex life is private.


----------



## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

I think most of you are giving his wife way too much credence. That you think she is some sort of normal person who doesn’t deliberately hurt and abuse her husband and that all he need do is “have a talk with her”.

If she was the sort of person where a “talk” would “cure” her then she’d be the sort of person who wouldn’t do that sort of thing in the first place so there’d be no need for the talk.

She is doing it to deliberately hurt and humiliate him. Once he comes to terms with and accepts that then he can make a decision on what to do.

If he has any wisdom and courage at all he’ll decide not to be with a woman who sets out to hurt and humiliate him and find a woman who sets out to love him for the man he is.


----------



## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

You all seem to be forgetting that bobdc said that his wife's comment came while *the three were out drinking*. Remember that alcohol tends to loosen tongues and betray a person keeping a secret from a close person such as a spouse. I've often beleived that if you wanted to find out the truth from someone, you just needed to get them drunk enough so that their tongue would start wagging like a dog's tail. It would seem that in bobdc's case, the alcohol that his wife consumed was enough to show the tip of what could possibly be a dark secret of infidelity on his wife's part.


----------



## bobdc (Sep 15, 2011)

Enchantment said:


> Honestly, if you want someone to respect you, then you have to take the high road and be a person who is worthy of that respect. I don't know that these suggestions would do that, imho.


Yes, Enchantment! 
Insulting her or goint tit for tat will not help this situation. Thanks for your great advice!


----------



## Powerbane (Nov 8, 2010)

I agree with not going for the revenge or return humiliation factor - but she should know in no uncertain terms that her behavior was uncalled for. You don't talk about her bedroom manner with your friends and she should not be doing that with her friends either.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

While I respect everyone's viewpoints, I think that it's best not to give motivations to Bob's wife because we don't know her and their situation. It sounds like it was potentially a one-off comment made while under the influence of alcohol and not repeated as opposed to a comment that is made repeatedly by a spouse whose sole purpose is to humiliate and demean.

Bob, only you know your wife and the circumstances. I have a sense that you know what direction you're going to take. 

God Bless.


----------



## bobdc (Sep 15, 2011)

Enchantment said:


> While I respect everyone's viewpoints, I think that it's best not to give motivations to Bob's wife because we don't know her and their situation. It sounds like it was potentially a one-off comment made while under the influence of alcohol and not repeated as opposed to a comment that is made repeatedly by a spouse whose sole purpose is to humiliate and demean.
> 
> Bob, only you know your wife and the circumstances. I have a sense that you know what direction you're going to take.
> 
> God Bless.


Thanks, Enchantment!

Yes, I think a lot of the commenters are off the mark I think, but I appreciate all comments.

UPDATE: I did talk to my wife last night....

The short summary is:

* she is very sorry that she shared that information and that it came out that way and how they (she) reacted.

* she is very satisfied with our sex life.

* the bad part....she said that I was her smallest partner, but that size was not a big issue for her. i am more than big enough to satisfy her, but she has just had bigger in the past. she said it is not a big deal to her and compared it to breast size.

* she said that she is very open with that friend and 2 other girlfriends and that they share everything with eachother. she was not apologetic about this. she said that is just the nature of their relationship, they all know the sizes, sexual habits, satisfaction, etc. and she said that I should be happy b/c she is probably the most sexually satisified in the group.

* she said she didn't realize that I was sensitive about my size b/c sex is so great with us. But she then realized that of course guys care about this stuff, like she does about her hips and breasts.

* she said she would not share those details with any other friends, but the cat is out of the bag with her 3 best friends.

So.... I think I can live with this. My wife is a very nice person. She is very caring. This was certainly a bad incident the way it played out.

So, the upside is that it's all out in the open and there are no sexual or communication issues. The downside is that 3 of her friends know my "size". But they also know that she is sexually satisfied. I should not care at all. but it bothers me a little bit still. But I think I'll get over it.


----------



## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

What is she planning on doing to make it right for you?

EDIT - And does she plan to share any other details with those three friends?


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

That's some serious disrespect...

Even as much of a jerk I am I would never embarrass the missus like that and have the nerve to laugh about her personal failings with my mates. Minor failings sure, but only with close mates, but nothing like that. 

I'm surprised you can forgive this sort of behavior, I wouldn't blame the missus for slapping me up side and down and behind if I was to make her feel insecure like that.


----------



## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

bobdc said:


> So, the upside is that it's all out in the open and there are no sexual or communication issues. The downside is that 3 of her friends know my "size". But they also know that she is sexually satisfied. I should not care at all. but it bothers me a little bit still. But I think I'll get over it.


Good for you for getting it out in the open.

If I was in the circumstances of being one of her friends who heard about this I would be thinking "Wow, Bob's wife sure is lucky as she's always really satisfied. He must be a GREAT lover."

So just keep it up (sorry for the pun).  Based upon some of your other posts that I've seen, it sounds like you two have a really good sex life.

God Bless.


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Next the she asks if she looks fat? Say yes. In fact say it in front of her three friends.

Seriously, it sounds like she talked sweet and you caved on all points. She disrespected you to her friends by sharing information that is very private. Is she
going to stop? What if you develop a liking for cheerleader outfits? Is she going to share that too?

I don't think you should start complaining and whiny , but you do need to draw some clear boundaries on her sharing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

And the friend who thought it was funny to bring up in the first place?

I'm not suggesting you throw your marriage into a tailspin, but ...

You cannot control what she does and doesn't discuss with her girlfriends, although you can make it clear that you DO NOT approve of her sharing intimate details with her friends, that they in turn feel it is OK to bring up with you.

YOU can make it clear that it's inappropriate and disrespectful to YOU.

At which point should she continue to share those details, and in turn one of her trio of friends brings up those details with you ... then she, and they aren't quite as 'caring' as you may think. They have earned a consequence for such a breach ... a second time. Up to you what that consequence should be.

My best friend is very familiar with intimate details of my marriage. He would never, ever, bring up that information. It would be utter disrespect for my then-spouse, and a breach of trust with me.

Do you feel like this is resolved?

If so, Godspeed.


----------



## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

I`m so glad my wife does`t have any close friends.


----------



## kelevra (May 19, 2011)

Have you ever heard of OTK (over the knee) or DD (domestic discipline) perhaps you should introduce your wife to some.
She doesn't seem remorseful enough.


----------



## MarriedTex (Sep 24, 2010)

bobdc said:


> Thanks, Enchantment!
> 
> Yes, I think a lot of the commenters are off the mark I think, but I appreciate all comments.
> 
> ...


If you're happy, that's all that matters. From your description, sounds like she's blowing sunshine up your skirt. 

So, how much other information will she share with these dear close friends in the future. Down the line, if you need to start taking Viagra, will the friends know? If you decide you want to pursue some type of marginal fetish, will her friends be in on the secret as well? 

What did she say about sharing secrets with the three close friends in the future? What embarrassing stories can she share about the drinking buddy's husband? 

I'm glad this issue isn't bothering you anymore. I'd be going crazy. You're a better man than I.


----------



## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

bobdc said:


> she said that she is very open with that friend and 2 other girlfriends and that they share everything with eachother. she was not apologetic about this.


In marriage your loyalty to each other should come first. Each of you must respect each others feelings and guard each others secrets. Your wife has just told you that this is a gray area with with her, and makes no apology for it.



bobdc said:


> The downside is that 3 of her friends know my "size". But they also know that she is sexually satisfied. I should not care at all. but it bothers me a little bit still. But I think I'll get over it.


The real downside is that your wife and 3 friends know that they can disrespect you and laugh in your face about your size, and that there will be no consequences because your are a confirmed Beta male. Guys like you always wake up later wondering what went wrong with their marriage; it does not go wrong all at once, it is a process.


----------



## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

Enchantment said:


> While I respect everyone's viewpoints, I think that it's best not to give motivations to Bob's wife because we don't know her and their situation. It sounds like it was potentially a one-off comment made while under the influence of alcohol and not repeated as opposed to a comment that is made repeatedly by a spouse whose sole purpose is to humiliate and demean.
> 
> Bob, only you know your wife and the circumstances. I have a sense that you know what direction you're going to take.
> 
> God Bless.


With respect, I disagree. What is the whole point of having a forum like this if issues of motivations can never be discussed, when they clearly come very close to bordering accepted social norms? And it does not surprise many of us that three of her friends knew, because it seemed obvious that this was a person who understood little of accepted boundaries.

It is often easy to miss the sensitivity of a male/female body issue if you are not of the same gender. One of the things we are often taught in management training is to try to relate to parallel issue with our own gender, and then see if our assumptions remain the same. I just could not fathom how it would be acceptable to tell my friends how my wife's labia looked if it was something that she was ashamed of. It is considered by most to be outside of social norms to do so. If I somehow felt that it was relevant, it would have to be under the strict expectation that it would never, ever be mentioned to another. Then, if my friend blurted out in front of her that she had an ugly labia, fighting would ensue. So we could be pretty comfortable with making a few assumptions about the nature of the OPs wife's comment to her friends.

Since many of the more vocal responses are actually from men, then its not surprising that men understand and respect this as a male body issue.

My wife learned this in a comical way that backfired. When we were first intimate, she was alarmed because I'm a tad larger than she had seen in her medical training, so she asked her sister, who told her mother, who told all the aunts and cousins. Next thing you know, we couldn't go out with mutual friends without asking really embarrasing questions.


----------



## Voiceofreason (Mar 6, 2011)

If she told three friends, then you can be pretty sure that they each told three friends and their boyfriends/husbands...

Her saying that's the way it is with full disclosure to her girlfriends and she is unapologetic about it is not owning what she did. She is blowing smoke up your a$$ to say she thought it was OK to tell them because she is satisfied with you. She knew it was embarrassing to you, but she did it anyway.

You made good progress with your conversation, but you should consider counseling to explore appropriate boundries...she shows no sign of understanding them.

Of course, it's all up to you what you will tolerate from her...


----------



## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Did you get a chance to ask her if it would have been ok for you to let your male friends know about her hips and breasts?


----------



## bobdc (Sep 15, 2011)

morituri said:


> Did you get a chance to ask her if it would have been ok for you to let your male friends know about her hips and breasts?


she is pretty open with her body, so i don't think she would care if anyone knew her sizes. for that matter she would not mind if the whole world saw her naked.


----------



## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

Voiceofreason said:


> Her saying that's the way it is with full disclosure to her girlfriends and she is unapologetic about it is not owning what she did. She is blowing smoke up your a$$ to say she thought it was OK to tell them because she is satisfied with you. She knew it was embarrassing to you, but she did it anyway.


I think my response would then have been "So if I don't want your three gf's to know something, I will just make sure that I don't tell you." Then I would walk away and let her think about it that as I actually followed that rule.


----------



## Whip Morgan (May 26, 2011)

bobdc said:


> she said that she is very open with that friend and 2 other girlfriends and that they share everything with eachother. she was not apologetic about this. .


Not apologetic? Come on. I understand that women talk - men do to. But if they all laughed at you, TO YOUR FACE, you damn well know they all laughed about you when your wife told them. The fact that she did not handle this appropriately when this came out and humiliated you tells me that she was giggling right along with them during their first "girl talk" about you.

Bob, re-read the title of your own thread. Humiliated. By the person who should put you above anyone else. Is it so wrong to think that not publically embarrasing you, or not coming to your side during this is part of that whole "husband above others" thing? Phrase it anyway you want.

You write that your wife is a nice person - I'm not saying she is bad. But she disprespected and ridiculed you behind your back, and now you know she did. And she has allowed her friends to do so, amongst others, without repurcussion. Sorry Bob, that level of disrespect is outrageous. It doesn't matter that she is "sorry" how it came out that night - because she already told you she is not apologetic that she told them to begin with.

You might consider what else that you considered private that she has told others. Its good that you brought it up, but I agree with the others, sounds like she blew some smoke up your a** and probably laughed with her girlfriends about it later. I truly hope I'm wrong and that we're all blowing this out of proportion, but I keep looking back at the title of your thread, and I don't think we are.


----------



## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

There is little doubt that she has not already talked further with her friends about you talking toher about this. You will eventually know with future inuendos and smirks about this if she did.


----------



## bobdc (Sep 15, 2011)

Entropy3000 said:


> There is little doubt that she has not already talked further with her friends about you talking toher about this. You will eventually know with future inuendos and smirks about this if she did.


you might be right, but i think i'm getting a different perspective on this. my body is what it is. i need to accept it and even embrace it. so what if my **** is smaller than some. it's like a woman with small breasts. so what? some guys care, some don't. but women can't "hide" their breast size, like guys do with their ****s.

so, am i embarassed? sure. do i wish my wife didn't think i was on the small side of the penis scale? sure.

but she did marry me. we have lots of sex and she seems very satisfied. she communicates easily what she wants sexually and she listens to what i want. so at the end of the day, there really isn't a problem, other than my own insecurity.


----------



## Whip Morgan (May 26, 2011)

bobdc said:


> so at the end of the day, there really isn't a problem, other than my own insecurity. .


Let me say it again - reread the title to your thread. Your wife humiliated and embarrased you, then allowed her friends to do so. How much do you think she giggled when she first told them? Or how much now, with them all talking about you bringing this up?

Its because a lack of respect exists. There IS a problem : her lack of respect for you! 

Bob, you mentioned just now all the good points about your sex life and the fact that she DID marry you - thats what you should have talked about with her, in addition to discussing how blatantly disrespectful and cruel she was to you.

Your latest post sounds like you're intent with sweeping this under the rug. Please don't. You posted here for a reason, so now that you're getting advice and responses that GO AGAINST rug sweeping, its making you uncomfortable to rock the boat. Don't be. You already know you satisfy your lady, so that sounds like to me you have (or had, before this? Its understandable) some sexual confidence. Take that confidence and bring it with you to address the real problem that underlies this: RESPECT!


----------



## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

bobdc said:


> but she did marry me. we have lots of sex and she seems very satisfied. she communicates easily what she wants sexually and she listens to what i want. so at the end of the day, there really isn't a problem, other than my own insecurity.


And her laughing at your insecurity.

Look, at the end of the day, you have to live with your wife. If you are fine with this, more power to you. But regardless of whether your insecurity is reasonable or not, it is my opinion that her actions were and continue to be disrespectful to you, her husband. I do hope you fix that.


----------



## omega (Aug 2, 2011)

I think Bob's last post sums it up. I've always been baffled by the penis size thing. I ended a basically great relationship because the guy was too large. My best friend and I have discussed on multiple occasions how much we prefer smaller guys - this was before I met my husband and I would never talk about my H's size one way or the other but I imagine my best friend assumes that he's got what I said I preferred for years. 

However, that said... I absolutely agree that the wife here is really good at talking her way out of situations. Many women are. I can spin just about anything to diffuse a situation, make someone else feel guilty, make myself look blameless, etc. It's just a talent many women have. It's also extremely manipulative and bad for a marriage. 

Bob, it would be a shame to be embarrassed about something that as you rightly point out is a just a question of taste. Some men prefer blondes, some prefer brunettes. Some women prefer bigger, some prefer smaller. How this ever ended up as an issue of ranking in our culture is beyond me and a real shame for the great guys out there who are small. 

Quite frankly I would be far more humiliated that my spouse thought discussing such personal matters was acceptable than that her friends knew the size of my body parts!


----------



## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

bobdc said:


> you might be right, but i think i'm getting a different perspective on this. my body is what it is. i need to accept it and even embrace it. so what if my **** is smaller than some. it's like a woman with small breasts. so what? some guys care, some don't. but women can't "hide" their breast size, like guys do with their ****s.
> 
> so, am i embarassed? sure. do i wish my wife didn't think i was on the small side of the penis scale? sure.
> 
> but she did marry me. we have lots of sex and she seems very satisfied. she communicates easily what she wants sexually and she listens to what i want. so at the end of the day, there really isn't a problem, other than my own insecurity.


I don't think the issue is really about your body at all. I think it is about disrespect and priorities. My point was that she should not be telling her girl friends all of this stuff. If your talk with her was valid, then she should not keep the discussion going with her friends. However, if she chooses to let them know and laugh further then you are not her highest priority. 

Now what can you do about it? IMHO, I think you should become a little more Alpha. She should not feel so free to disresepct you. She found a hot button and now she knows she can push it any time she wants.

This is not about penis size really. It is more about balls. For some reason she is getting off on belittling you. At least just a little bit. I don't know why.

Wether you are insecure or not really is not the issue. But for sake of argument, why would someone who supposedly loves you belittle yopu over something they know you are insecure about? It is like poking a wound. The answer is that they would not. We all have our flaws. The person who we love and trust the most in our lives should not be belittling us. We look to them for respect and admiration. These are top male emotional needs.

There is nothing you can do about penis size. But lets for the moment assume this was not about that but they were giggling about you not graduating high school or college or something like that. Would that be any better?


----------



## bobdc (Sep 15, 2011)

omega said:


> I think Bob's last post sums it up. I've always been baffled by the penis size thing. I ended a basically great relationship because the guy was too large. My best friend and I have discussed on multiple occasions how much we prefer smaller guys - this was before I met my husband and I would never talk about my H's size one way or the other but I imagine my best friend assumes that he's got what I said I preferred for years.
> 
> However, that said... I absolutely agree that the wife here is really good at talking her way out of situations. Many women are. I can spin just about anything to diffuse a situation, make someone else feel guilty, make myself look blameless, etc. It's just a talent many women have. It's also extremely manipulative and bad for a marriage.
> 
> ...


thanks, omega! excellent point.


----------



## Whip Morgan (May 26, 2011)

Entropy3000 said:


> This is not about penis size really. It is more about balls. For some reason she is getting off on belittling you. At least just a little bit. I don't know why. .


And he'll never understand why unless he confronts this head on. Everyone is right, this is so blatantly beyond penis size that Bob must understand it. Almost everyone here has been posting what are essentially flashing neon signs right infront of his face.

Don't let this continue Bob, got to address it. You can do it my man!


----------



## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

How much alcohol did your wife and her friend consumed before she made her disrespectful comment?


----------



## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

I'm with okey....I would be compelled to seek revenge.


----------



## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

so if you tell your friends that your wife has an oder down below she wouldn't mind?.


----------



## adv (Feb 26, 2011)

Personally, I'm really curious if he brought up the lack of respect issue, because to me, that was the main issue.


----------



## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

Bob,

Your wife used a nuclear sh!t test on you. And you failed big time.

You need to respond to her. At a minimum, she needs to apologize to you in a sincere manner and to commit to you and your happiness over girlfriend gossip.

It may not be too late to reclaim some dignity here.


----------



## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

What I find kinda odd in all of this is that this is acceptable behavior on the forefront with her relationship with her friends.

(kinda like "Mean Girls", only they are grown up)

Don't get me wrong - I have a friend I have approached when there is something to be discussed about sex but it's always taken from the angle of "I want to be better. . ." or "what can I do to please her more?" or "is this normal?" with regards to performance, frequency, whatever the issue is. Or even a complaint I wasn't getting it. Men have a lot of pressure to perform, to not have to worry about size when disrobing.

A lot of us have friends that we can talk to.

But if one of my male buddies started dissing his wife or significant other to me. . .I don't think I'd want to listen to it, and I think I would show my discomfort and start squirming and quickly exit the conversation. Certainly not laugh! Everyone of my friends have responded to any plight I have presented in a spirit of help, understanding, and concern.

I think internet forums are a separate matter - there is some level of anonymity and you can get a consensus (for instance, if you wife came on her complaining your size wasn't satisfying, and I have seen that complaint here from women time to time).

It's the public nature of this that is disturbing to us I think.

If you are going to follow the consensus here and "Man Up", I think it's time you narrow her social network. 

Inform her you don't want her hanging out with "Mean Girls" and it's a bad influence on your marriage, which is the cornerstone of your family (a marriage is). 

This would be appropriate in reverse, if you were drinking too much down at the local bar and getting into fights, and coming home drunk. Your wife would set a boundary there.

I don't see this next action as "controlling."

As the man, you are the leader of the family and it's appropriate to tell her friends to take a hike and they aren't needed/wanted/desired. They are a destablizing presence rather than a stabilizing one.


----------



## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

BTW, 

Directly and publically confront the women on this and tell them they are a destablizing presence on your family and watch her friends cower and put their tail between their legs.

It's like a male lion walking through a pride of female lions. I work with women and am in charge of women at times and I have learned, they'll respond to a male voice (no matter how big my p'er is or not). Of course, this kind of thing is NOT talked about in sexual harrassment meetings in corporate culture, but women talk to women differently and women talk to men differently (essentially, they can almost backflip their positions and demeanor depending on gender). It's learned from very young.

Only a raging feminist or lesbian would mount a challenge to you - calling them out in public for threatening the cornerstone of your family. If any of them are that, then be prepared for that. Confront them as you would another man.

Good luck on your public confrontation. 

You have your specific mission. 

Good luck.


----------



## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Lion Defends His Kill, Somalisa Camp, Hwange National Park, Zimbabwe - YouTube

Here's a short video of a male lion defending his kill from some adolescent female lions.

For your inspiration and meditation.

Or maybe more appropriately. . .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FoNmQX09rX0

That hyiena isn't laughing, is it?


----------



## piqued (Mar 25, 2010)

Bobdc,

I'm most unsettled by your wife being unapologetic. Two points on this.

First, your wife has to understand that she is free to tell her friends absolutely anthing about herself...if she likes golden showers, if she likes strap ons, whatever. She can divulge anything because it is about her. However, she does not have license to divulge things about you. It violates the trust of the marital bedroom. Does this mean that she feels free to discuss any kinks or fetishes you have too? That is YOUR private stuff that you agreed to share with her through marriage. You didn't sign up for sharing that with whomever she feels like telling and she should understand and respect that. If she can't respect that, then I'm afraid you have larger issues in your marriage than her loose lips.

Second, whhat this indicated, and you should share this with her, is that she values the relationship with her friends more than she values her relationship with you. Plain and simple, it was disrespectful and 99.999% of counselors,therapists, and objective observers out there would agree. If she doesn't comprehend this then, again, there are more issues with your marriage than you realize.

Sorry to sound harsh, but the 2nd ten years are the hardest so if you've been "going along to get along" up til now because she is "nice" then it's time to start setting some boundaries...

People who love each other respect each other and protect each other.


----------



## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

Entropy3000 said:


> I don't think the issue is really about your body at all. I think it is about disrespect and priorities. My point was that she should not be telling her girl friends all of this stuff. If your talk with her was valid, then she should not keep the discussion going with her friends. However, if she chooses to let them know and laugh further then you are not her highest priority.
> 
> Now what can you do about it? IMHO, I think you should become a little more Alpha. She should not feel so free to disresepct you. She found a hot button and now she knows she can push it any time she wants.
> 
> ...


Please listen to this post. Your wife has very little respect for you. Let's do this. I'll call you. You put me on speaker phone and I'll make mention of a time there was a spec of feces on your wifes anus as you were doing her doggy style and we'll have a good laugh. I'm just your good friend. You tell me everything. Don't say anything as she talks about feeling disrespected. Let her get it out. When she asks what you have to say look her dead in the eye and say " How'd you like them apples".


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I have a feeling this is some kind of game she is playing to dominate you, a small step in a progression of belittling remarks that will make you submit to her demands.

Do not stand for it, make your stand now and let her know that you will not go down this road.

If she thinks for one minute that these remarks will bring you down and future belittlement will empower her to dominate you furthure...well then she is wrong.

She should be literialy spanked for her behavior, a humilation that is well diserved, if you want to go down that "tit for tat" idea.

At the very least express your alpha by asking her to leave if she contiues. Do not begg for this marriage she of all people are not worth it. Show her a confident man that can move on with out her if she chooses to behave this way.


----------



## Whip Morgan (May 26, 2011)

From Bobs last post, I think he feels it has been resolved, and the rest is his own insecurity. He did not acknowledge the main point of all the posters: his wifes lack of respect for him. I think he may not return to this thread...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

bobdc said:


> Thanks, Hailen! Great advice.
> I feel so humiliated and embarrassed!


I didn't read the whole thread, I got to this comment and felt compelled to type. This might be easier said than done but you need to let it go. It's actually your wife who should feel humiliated and embarrassed - not you. 

In no way am I defending her but I feel when they laughed, they weren't laughing about you, they were laughing more about the fact that they talk about everything and you became aware of this. It sounds like a defensive "what can we do now but laugh?" moment between them. 

Not cool behavior, not at all. There's a line of respect with such matters. You have nothing to prove to her friends. This is between you and your wife to sort. Please try not to feel humiliated. Like I said, if anyone should feel that emotion, it should be her.


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

WhiteRabbit said:


> :soapbox:
> 
> i have a friend who is constantly complaining to me about how crappy her husband is in bed,how he sticks his d*ck into like he's stirring soup or something...
> 
> ...


(I got further in the thread) .........can I share that soapbox with you? 

A woman I know hooked up with one of my male friends. I don't think he was into her, it was a drunken night and SHE saw opportunity and went there. For a start I wouldn't even discuss sex with her on any level, we weren't close but she randomly told me and a couple of other female acquaintances that knew him, that he was 'lacking' in size. I was disgusted. My male friend was trying to be respectful towards her, because they hooked up. I told him she had said something disrespectful about him and he'd be wise not to go there. Apparently women in their mid-30's can still be juvenile and mean. I cut contact from her. I lost any respect I might have had. Not cool. And to the OP, I never viewed my male friend any differently. It was all about her _character_ that was lacking, nothing else.

As for your wife's conversations with her close friend: while crossing the line, would not be compared to this vindictive story but she needs to wake up and understand how hurtful and disrespectful this is to you. She's the one that ought to feel embarrassed. Definitely tell her this is unacceptable. I'm annoyed just thinking about it!


----------



## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

Whip Morgan said:


> From Bobs last post, I think he feels it has been resolved, and the rest is his own insecurity. He did not acknowledge the main point of all the posters: his wifes lack of respect for him. I think he may not return to this thread...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Next thread title will be: "Should a married woman go out all night?"


----------



## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Kobo said:


> Next thread title will be: "Should a married woman go out all night?"


... And am I being too insecure, jealous and controlling


----------



## Onedery (Sep 22, 2011)

I'm new here, but found this thread interesting.
First of all, I suspect that bobdc is likely blessed with something that falls in the range of average. Otherwise, he would have fielded these comments before since it's practicly impossible to never been exposed to others and still live into adulthood.
Since I have some experience with getting "giggles" once or twice in my life, I would have gone on the offensive immediately and gave these two gals something to "really" talk about when comparing notes.
My reply would have been "NEITHER of you have ever mentioned it before, so I assumed you both were more than satisfied".
Regarding her mentioning bobdc "having the smallest", I made the decision long ago that I wouldn't really b e interested in a woman nobody else didn't find attractive, so it wasn't likely that I would ever find a gal who hadn't experienced more physically than I have to offer her.
However, if I was married to a blabber mouth who was unable to keep merital confidences, she would soon be finding out how well she was "big enough" to provide for herself financially since I would no longer consider myself worthy of doing so.


----------



## Whip Morgan (May 26, 2011)

Kobo and Entropy, good points. After reading many threads on TAM, I have no doubts about what a disrespectful spouse is capable of. 

I think there are two problems the original poster:
His wife was blatantly and cruelly disrespectful and allowed him to be humiliated, which she participated in. 
Bob then states they talked about it, and now it's just his insecurity. Did not acknowledge any post that discussed his wife's cruel treatment of him. 

So it will be status quo in that relationship while the poster rugsweeps this problem. Dangerous combo.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## dahling (Sep 26, 2011)

OP based on the update it seems that you and your wife have different ideas about sexual details being strictly personal.

Also her comfort in her own skin made have meant she thought you weren't sensitive to a simple joke about being small. Was it a joke about just your size or was it a joke about your sexual performance?

Big difference between a guy commenting on his wife gaining a few pounds as rolls to commenting on his wife's weight gain and calling her an unattractive unappealing tub of fat.

One is taking note of the trait and just the trait while the other is connecting the trait to desirability.

As for size insecurity evident by you stating the bad part is that she said you were the smallest partner she had- some guys are small, some are average, some are big. What does it matter what importance your genitals play if she still gets a pleasing orgasm?

What you should be concerned about is if she was mocking your size to her friends or if her friend noted "he's smaller than most" or "he's smaller than I'd like" or "he's small" and took that as to mock you with.

Sometimes girls can talk about size without degrading their partners. Just like stating I didn't orgasm when we did it in the pool is not degrading their partners.



Enchantment said:


> @OP ~ The best way it should have been countered would have been right at the time of mention - c*o*c*k*y smile and "Yah, but you should see what I can DO with it." Then you proceed to show her what you CAN do with it from that point on, so that she does not ever have the urge to say anything about the size, just that "WOW. HE is GOOD."


Are we reading the same thing?



bobdc said:


> * she has orgasms - though usually from oral sex or toys or fingers and rarely from intercourse*).


Don't talk if you can be called on your bs or bluff.

Since she tells her friend everything most likely her friend would be able to call bs on "Yah, but you should see what I can DO with it" since his wife rarely orgasm from intercourse and most gets her satisfaction from the vibrator/dildo, his mouth/tongue, and his fingers.

Also all that does is promote more size insecurity by relying that his genitals are such an important/main/or only factor in her giving her pleasure.

Rather than yep I'm small and it doesn't affect her sexual pleasure that's more of compensating like yes I'm small but I had to find a way to work around hindrance and now I know how to work it.


----------



## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

If her 3 best friends know, then there are many, many more who know. Your W is NOT a "nice person". How DARE she laugh at you about that when her friend insulted you.

I know it's a sensitive topic, maybe TOO sensitive, but things would not be the same between my W and I if she ever did that. Personally, I would have walked out of that bar-and kept walking.


----------



## JTL (Dec 14, 2009)

While this has certainly been beaten to death, i'll add my 2 cents. This just is not that big of a deal. Her 3 friends know. So what! 10 friends know, SO WHAT! The key is your own confidence. It works for you, it works for her, that's all that matters. You can bring in all the phsycology and hidden meanings you want. It was probably just a joke. If it wasn't, she probably has other issues that are not penis related. I'm average or slightly below average. All our friends know this. Many have seen it. A couple have experience with it. I've heard just about every joke there is and i have never been shaken. Why? Because it does the job for both of us and that's all that matters. I never lash out with insults about others. It's a joke. All i say is: It might be small but i bet you will find it huge is your AS*!


----------



## coldshoulder (Sep 27, 2011)

Well bobdc, you are a bigger man than I...there would have been no recovery from that for me...I don't have the biggest or the smallest, and I hope I am in the "just right" column...but if my wife had talked to a few friends about it, then she obviously sees it as an inadequacy and I wouldn't be able to go back to the way things were...

It would be a deal breaker for me...I guess that makes me insecure in my manhood, but there are some things that are just taboo...and emasculating your husband is one of those...it would also spur the imagination into "what else is she not telling me..."

I'm glad to hear you were more mature about it than I would probably have been!!

Later.


----------



## Whip Morgan (May 26, 2011)

JTL said:


> The key is your own confidence


Confidence is good, but it cannot force his wife to respect him. What she did (first telling her girlfriends, do you honestly believe she didn't giggle about it) then not reprimanding her girlfriends after they humiliated him. Nope, she joined in the laughter. JTL, the whole point of the majority of the posters here are NOT about sex and penis size - its about the complete lack of respect - the original poster learned that from his wife the hard way.

Yeah, I certainly agree, that more than three people know and certainly what else do they know and not telling?


----------



## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

JTL said:


> While this has certainly been beaten to death, i'll add my 2 cents. This just is not that big of a deal. Her 3 friends know. So what! 10 friends know, SO WHAT! The key is your own confidence. It works for you, it works for her, that's all that matters. You can bring in all the phsycology and hidden meanings you want. It was probably just a joke. If it wasn't, she probably has other issues that are not penis related. I'm average or slightly below average. All our friends know this. Many have seen it. A couple have experience with it. I've heard just about every joke there is and i have never been shaken. Why? Because it does the job for both of us and that's all that matters. I never lash out with insults about others. It's a joke. All i say is: It might be small but i bet you will find it huge is your AS*!


R E S P E C T

Men's top emotional needs:

1) Sexuall fullfillment

2) Respect / Admiration

3) Companionship

She made a mockery of all three in what she did. Biut the direct attack was on RESPECT. I see this type of thing as not being faithful to a spouse. So how much trust did she lose?

It is a huge deal and has nothing to do with his confidence or penis size or anything else about him not being adequate. It is all about her showng no value in her husband or her marriage. A woman who enjoys humiliating her man is a certain type of woman.

I suppose if he had no boundaries, was insecure and / or a bit of a cuckold he would have been into this and accepted it as a joke.

---

We can only imagine where this all came from. IF their conversation ellluded to her really missing someone who had a bigger penis and saying that he was the smallest then that is belittling him and essentially saying that she would be tempted to look for satisfaction elsewhere. That leads to more of the you go girl activities. Oh isn't that great that she hooked up with that stud. You know her husband is very small and cannot satisfy her. So glad she was able to bang that guy. They tell some guys and a guy or two is emboldend to say inappropriate things to his wife. If she then giggles and continues to belittle her husband then it gets even worse. His wife becomes an easy target. Is this a stretch? Sure. But once this boundary is crossed it can get out of hand and go to some weird places.

So he is sitting in the group next time and some drunk guy starts making fun of him as a joke and says to his face that he could satisfy his wife and that everyone knows he is too small to take care of her. If a fight does not break out yet it could get even worse. So all of this has really nothing to do with his size. It has to do with a wife's lack of respect / admiration for her husband that bleeds over into sexual fullfillment and companionship. Why would he want to be with his wife in that group now? He sure is not the AMOG any more if he was. He becomes the runt of the litter. Sorry, but it is that disrespectful.

So reeling this in, what I am saying is that if a wife is willing to humiliate her husband to others she displays low value in herself for sure. She puts herself out there as not having a man she would be faithful to. She invites others to disrespect him. I mean most people would feel sorry for the guy. But in general he would have less respect from others. Not because of a physical attribute but that he does not command respect from his own wife and is not strong enough to do anything about it. Thus his value in the group is greatly diminished. Because 1) she did it in the first place and 2) He accepted her domination of him publicly.


----------



## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

If someone made mention of one of my wife's, er..."traits" (sorry-couldn't think of a better term), and laughed about it, I would tell him that I found his comment way out of line and that he apologize to my wife IMMEDIATELY! And I expect the same from my W.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Bob--you asked what you can do...

about your penis--nothing... you are who you are and your penis is what it is. 

About your wife: tell her NO sharing such personal details with people outside your relationship. She wouldn't like it very much if you were talkinga bout how her vagina fits/feels when you have sex with her guys and sitting at the bar discussing it openly. 

RESPECT


----------



## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

JTL said:


> While this has certainly been beaten to death, i'll add my 2 cents. This just is not that big of a deal. Her 3 friends know. So what! 10 friends know, SO WHAT! The key is your own confidence. It works for you, it works for her, that's all that matters. You can bring in all the phsycology and hidden meanings you want. It was probably just a joke. If it wasn't, she probably has other issues that are not penis related. I'm average or slightly below average. All our friends know this. Many have seen it. A couple have experience with it. I've heard just about every joke there is and i have never been shaken. Why? Because it does the job for both of us and that's all that matters. I never lash out with insults about others. It's a joke. All i say is: It might be small but i bet you will find it huge is your AS*!



You don't get it.


----------



## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

Folks,

Bob hasn't been here since 9/19. His last posts indicated that his wife was sorry that her friends humiliated him, but that she wasn't sorry for sharing humiliating information with them.

Bob accepted that and let it go. I think we should too.


----------



## coldshoulder (Sep 27, 2011)

This is just one of those topics that really gets under guys' skin...and I think at this point we are just venting our displeasure to what bobdc had to go through...the thread will die on it's own...

I still say good on him for being able to see past it and move on...

Later.


----------



## Onedery (Sep 22, 2011)

Well we may have heard the last from bobdc, but I doubt that his problems are over with his blabber mouth wife.
She wouldn't have been discussing his physical prowess with her equally mouthy friend if it was't an issue with her.
Were I in his shoes, I'd be looking around for somebody to replace her.


----------



## Jonesey (Jul 11, 2011)

:smthumbup::lol::lol::lol:


Entropy3000 said:


> But with an echo.
> That made my day
> ... you have have have have


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

If my husband laughed about something on my body or about my body...with his friends, no less, i would be heartbroken.

Although, with my husband, it's the opposite. I want to brag about his package LOL But I don't. My friends would be jealous


----------



## nice_cheryl (Oct 15, 2011)

Size doesn't matter.
Get over it.


----------



## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

nice_cheryl said:


> Size doesn't matter.
> Get over it.


would you tell that to the woman who posted about getting a boob job for her selfesteam.


and I'm sorry to burst your bubble but size dose matter at least for some women.


----------



## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

that_girl said:


> If my husband laughed about something on my body or about my body...with his friends, no less, i would be heartbroken.
> 
> Although, with my husband, it's the opposite. I want to brag about his package LOL But I don't. My friends would be jealous


I have a good friend who is very large. and he told me that when his girlfriends tell their girl friends about his size when she is not around they hit on him and ask if he is really that big some even sugest an affair.

so keep his package size to yourself.no reason to temp someone.

he says it happens ALOT.

I trust him because he is very self consious about his size even say he wishes it was average because some girls won't even go near it once they see it.


----------



## omega (Aug 2, 2011)

*chillymorn* I wouldn't take that poster (*nice_cheryl*)too seriously. It's a new poster who rapidly posted several very short posts. Probably trying to boost post count, not thinking that hard about making useful contributions.

Read her other posts, you'll see what I mean.


----------



## The Cro-Magnon (Sep 30, 2012)

okeydokie said:


> if your able to take her to the limits and beyond, why would she joke about it?


And that, folks, is the thread in a nutshell.


----------

