# Sex after cancer?



## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

After robotic prostate cancer removal last October I have been battling erectile dysfunction. I am a 54 year old male. I was a walking hard on before surgery married to a very attractive wife. I tried the pill things which were hit and miss. Be a while before I can get an penile implant, right now I am taking trimix injections which work well. But wifey does not seem interested in sex anymore. And in my case if you don't use it you lose it is probly true. You can lose length and girth. Any ideas on how I can talk to her about this? I have tried to explain the use it or lose it thing but no change. Any ideas appreciated. thanx


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

How long ago was surgery? How did she react to you getting cancer? Fear is a real libido squasher...if she was really fearful she may be still having security issues. What I am saying is sometimes when a real shock happens in ones life you realize how little control we have in this life. This makes a person fearful and insecure ....security is a big driver for some women....they think of their man as their rock that will always be there and take care of them. Not sure if this is what is happening, but have seen women react this way after bad accidents and cancer with their husbands.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

Surgery was October 2012, cancer free now, hopefully stay that way. Wife has never been an eager beaver in the bed, Its always me that has to beg. I guess I am getting tired of begging.


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## amanda23 (Jan 24, 2013)

Hi edbopc,

My husband also had a radical prostatectomy last Fall. We have been struggling to get our sex life back. He has ED and uses pills and trimix. It has been a long road. My husband shut down intimacy for a while after his surgery, but that is over and he has become very loving again. We have only had intercourse twice since his surgery. He has some issues with trimix as far as intercourse goes, but he uses it to treat his ED. However, we fool around regularly and keep intimacy alive. We are hoping for better times in the future, when his ED may resolve.

I don't have a lot of advice for you. Maybe you could try being affectionate when you don't want sex, so that when you do she will be more receptive. Maybe try telling her that with all that you have gone through you don't want to lose your connection with her and you want to express your love for her. It is so difficult to heal from an RP and from ED that I don't put any barriers up if my husband wants to get intimate. I figure that there are enough barriers with the ED. So I really do feel for your situation and wish you the best.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Its sad when a LD other half doesn't do anything about the sex even after the HD person tells them its an issue and they have to beg???

You should never have to beg for sex from your wife. That's degrading and insulting and she's not being a good wife to you.

Try taking test shots from the Dr. That should do the trick.

If you want sex often and she doesn't, come to a permanent compromise. 3x each week, maybe once every 2nd day, something like that. Sex should be enjoyable for both individuals and if she doesn't like or want sex, try a vibrator on her while giving her oral and see how she likes that. Then have sex with her after........


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

thanx for suggestions, will try. I can only use trimix every other day for erections and like amandas husband still have some issues with using it. I am off work today and we will see what happens.


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