# Update-figuring out where to go from here



## cagedrat (Jan 12, 2014)

Short history for those not following:
Long term communication issues in our marriage, porn addiction, suspicion of cheating (no proof, only circumstantial evidence), considering separation…

I had a talk with hubby. He was defensive. Denied cheating, said every guy uses porn, told me I had the problem, refused marriage counseling, blamed me for adding stress to his life and making mountains out of molehills. He smoothed things over after talk so that we could rugsweep and move on like nothing happened. I did the same to buy me time to figure out what to do next since I could tell he wasn't open to dealing with our real issues.

I have used the var-so far only confirmed a ridiculous amount of time on porn/masterbating when I am not home.

Find my iPhone showed him at a house he didn't belong at while supposed to be at work-he denies it and says iPhone was wrong.

He says he loves me, I'm his best friend, being super sweet and perfect hubby/dad at the moment. 

I am going to independent counseling to sort through all of this and figure out what to do next. I don't know what to think right now. Part of me wants to save marriage so my kids have a full intact family to grow up in-I can do that if I live the lie. I also have a hard time "hurting" him (yes, I know he is the one messing with my emotions) and walking out, even though I am torn up inside. The other part of me wants a simpler life with me, my kids and a more basic,simper lifestyle with which to be normal and mentally healthy in. Not staying or leaving for the money, just currently emotionally entangled and not knowing what to think from one minute to the next.


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