# Big changes (and some questions to go along with)



## Agast84 (Dec 26, 2011)

Though many of you are semi-familiar with my situation (though I unfortunately feel the need to not tell the whole story due to length and it would definitely give away who I was if she happens to find this site or if she is on)there is no real need.
I have been separated over a year and have had my share of understanding myself, a crush, the end of friendship(s) due to a stupid triangle situation(def needs its own thread), several back slides, utter confusion about my place in my situation( I tended to place all the blame on myself, because I was not made aware of any problems), and a total realization that I am in control and have a better head on me being away from what I was living in. 

I realize she will never fulfill me as she maintains a very low status quo in many regards and she will never be happy with me for whatever reason(s), real or created. She never shared with me so I could never remedy it if it was a problem.I would have done anything with-in reason to be with her the rest of our lives. She kinda did a hard 180 the week after we split last year, but eventually missed me and was so surprised I wanted to be her friend etc, I now see this as a bad thing, I still want to work on us and she wants me as a really good friend( perhaps if things had not been so strange over our entire relationship). I don't feel I have it in her and that is an unbalanced, unfulfilling friend that I must let go of as sad as it may be. I am not a backup or a pseudo-husband, nor do I enjoy seeing all the male attention a married women is getting( everything from roses to being hit on in front of me.) or any of the other strange "friendships" (the one's I was always wary of, but no I was jealous and untrusting )
Question:
WHat is the cheapest and safest way to end a legal marriage?
I recently told her I didn't want one again after threatening with one 6mnth ago, she agreed, but didn't and still doesn't want one. She has just about every bit of property(which I am still paying my cards off I have all the debt, yay! but she has the better health insurance on all of us so it is not entirely unbalanced) she claims to want no money, but appreciates the money I do give( she says never give more than I can, but technically all of it is more than I can considering my massive debt.( that feels like a potential trap though) In others words, I don't want her to spend money she lacks nor do I want to be screwed.


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## Agast84 (Dec 26, 2011)

And step one is a success.


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