# need advice!!



## Breeann (Jul 6, 2011)

Does any one know if you have joint custody now and wants to file for full custody, is it possible? How old does your child have to be to make that decission on his own?


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## Riverside MFT (Oct 5, 2009)

It really depends on the state laws where you live. I would suggest talking to an attorney about this issue, however in most cases it is possible. Please consider what is best for your child in this situation.


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## Breeann (Jul 6, 2011)

I have left a message with my attorney, so waiting to hear from him. You are so right about what's best for the child. It's actually my husbands son and has joint custody. The weeks his mother has him he is alone most of the time because mother likes to go out and party and when he tries to call her she doesn't pick up, so we have to drive to get him. He tells us he's tired a being alone and wants to stay with us full time and we around family. He has said something to his mother and she replies back by saying " I stayed home with you and your sister when you guys were little, now it's my time to have alittle fun and a life". He is a 14 yr old kid that needs to have his mother home with him at night. Anything could happen while she's hanging out at bars.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Yeah she is being a very bad parent. Make sure you document all of these occasions, and if he is 14 I would think most judges would heavily favor his desire to be with your H and you.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

First. . .just become educated on the difference. Most states:

Physical Custody and Legal Custody.

Legal custody means who, or both, whom make the decisions regarding schooling and medical issues. 

IMHO, despite his ex-wife being a knothead, it will be very difficult to hand over entire legal custody to your husband/the father. She could be a crack addict and a prostitute and she gave it both up yesterday and a court would have a hard time, especially with mothers. There is still some bias there. Courts generally believe most parents should have a say in these decisions.

The other issue is physical custody. Now, if you have documented instances where she's not showing up for parenting time, abandoning the child, yes, IMHO, I think you have a good chance of getting 95-100% physical custody. A court doesnt' want to take a chance that a child is endangered.

Finally, the other issue you talk about is "Age of Sentience" - when is a child have a say in his or her place of residence/custody?

Every state is different but in NJ, I beleive it starts at age 14. . .slowly, the judges will apply more weight in the opinion of a minor of where they want to stay. The judge may interview him in private and then apply a weighting to it. Judges hate to have to go there though, and probably need a compelling reason. You may just prevail on the documentation of inconsistent parenting on her part.

Age of Sentience does not mean the Age of Majority (I am not a lawyer and I am not sure if that's the term) - it's just a legal consenus of when a child has a valid opinion. 

For instance, if your stepson was a bad boy and he was 14 and wanted to go live at his moms so he could smoke pot, well. . .he doesnt' get to decide as he's still a minor. 

He's just become "sentient."

Fascinating stuff actually.

Every state is different so fork up $300 for an hour consult with an attorney - money well spent. Get one who knows family law, not one who does "Personal Injury, Workers Comp, Wills, Traffic Tickets, Divorce, and Ambulance Chasing."


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