# How did u get out of your depression and get in shape?



## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

Since the economy took a sh!t, I have lost my job (career really) and so has my husband. Went to school, got my degree (not that I needed it, I had more experience than the instructors) because that is what everyone was saying could ensure you a good job. That was until all graphics, desktop publishing, etc. jobs went overseas. My career no longer exists in this country. Finding a job with my skills is slim to none. Now I make money by selling all of my best things on Ebay. You want a designer purse for a low price? Come to ME. You want Juicy Couture velour jump suit, retail $300 for $85? Great, I will bill you. All my nice things are GONE, jewelry, everything. Sad 

Thankfully, H is smart and paid off the house and cars when we were doing very well. We have no bills and all is calm. TOO CALM. 2 years later, I wake up and I am 50 pounds overweight, I sleep all day, watch horror movies all night, don't want to clean the house, don't go out much, don't have any money. You know, textbook depression, I'll bet a lot of people are suffering from since a lot of jobs went overseas.

I look disgusting. I hate fat, I was always trim, doing yoga, I was gonna be a yoga teacher! Now I hide my fat body from the world because I am ashamed (I was raised to be ashamed of fat, another lovely part of my life).

If any of you were in a similar place, how did you get out of it? For those that have never been in my shoes, hearing "just get out of bed" or "just go to the gym" really pisses me off and makes me want to do murder. I want to hear this from people who actually DID IT.

Every night I say TOMORROW IS A NEW DAY. And then when tomorrow comes, I say, TOMORROW IS A NEW DAY. Argh! How did you get your butt up and get back in shape? Family members giving me lectures on my depression and "you gotta get out of the house" bullcrap only made me angry. I want to know how someone who has BEEN THERE and gotten out of it. 

I am my own enemy. I really need to come out of hiding. Any helpful advice, tricks, tips, I am ready to shake a tail feather.


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## smith9800 (Mar 7, 2012)

I did that but with gym and after get up from bed, which you don't like..
If you really want to lose your weight then you have to do that....and if you don't want then it's up to u...:smthumbup:


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## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

I want to get in shape, I want to fit into my clothes, I want to be lean and mean like before. I only wish I could do all that from bed! haha!


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## wayne81 (Mar 12, 2012)

I am seeing this particular issue from the other side. My wife has been struggling with major depression for years, and although she is on medication for it, it is having an increasingly detrimental impact on us. There are times when I can help drag her up enough to get into action (of any kind), but there are also times where any energy you expend gets sucked into the black hole that is depression.

I know it is not up to me to help her, and in fact I really cannot "fix" this, but on the other hand I can't ignore it, that's cruel. I sometimes have to stop and think if I am also falling in to depression because of the seeming hopelessness of the situation or if I am just so worn out.

englessgrief, I would so love to offer you any kind of advice, but as someone who is watching it devour the love of their life I am afraid I have not yet had any "ah ha" moments. Do you have any insight you can give me that would help me deal with what my wife is going through?

I am so afraid that I am going to get to that point where I simply just cannot put in any more, or where I just don't care any longer. There are kids in the mix as well and I would love nothing more than to make sure they have a solid, stable home where they can grow up secure and strong.


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## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

Wayne81, thank you for sharing your story. The ironic thing is that for years my husband has been in a deep depressive state and like you, I tried to be there for him, tried to get him to snap out of it, etc.

There is another thread I posted about depression being contagious. It's like after years of living with a depressed H, I just gave up and became despressed myself. 

After a while, I just gave up and actually "mirrored" his depression. So while I am in bed in a deep depression, my H is in the other room doing the same thing I am.

I joke and say, IF YOU CAN'T BEAT EM, JOIN EM. But once you go down that road, depression can capture you and by the time you realize what is going on, you are 50 pounds heavier and miserable. Since I have never been in this situation, I am reaching out to this community looking for answers.


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## wayne81 (Mar 12, 2012)

I wish I could be more helpful. Maybe then it would make me feel better to know I was doing someone some good. All I can tell you for sure is that something in my head snapped a while back and I have decided that I need to make "me" important, not just everyone else. I have since started working out and although it is a slow process, I feel like at least for my own self I am doing something worth while.

The best advice I can give you after just reading that back to myself: Try to find one thing that is positive that you can latch on to and use it to springboard you up instead of down. Try to look for the next "good thing" and then the next and the next. All you need is one, and it doesn't matter how big or small. Start thinking about paying attention to the good things rather than focusing on just the bad. (I could take that advice myself.)

I have noticed in the case of my exercising reguarly (only been about a month but I can start to feel it), my wife has suddenly developed an urge to exercise. Calibrating to the other spouse may be the key. Once at least one of you is in a better place you have some room to wiggle.

You are just trading a habit of doing nothing for a habit of doing something. (I know it's not quite that simple but essentially it's true.)


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## smith9800 (Mar 7, 2012)

endlessgrief said:


> I want to get in shape, I want to fit into my clothes, I want to be lean and mean like before. I only wish I could do all that from bed! haha!


 haha....it's impossible dear....


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## Unhappy2011 (Dec 28, 2011)

Fat is just a superficial layer on the human body. It's not who the person is on the inside. 

Losing weight is a science. Approaching it as such is the path to success. Negative emotions are the enemy to that success. 

Why not set your goal to get in shape to become a yoga instructor?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Unhappy2011 (Dec 28, 2011)

endlessgrief said:


> Family members giving me lectures on my depression and "you gotta get out of the house" bullcrap only made me angry.


what would you say to someone else if they said that?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

First off, chronic depression is biochemical. See a doctor. Then get outside of yourself and do something that involves both moving around and doing for other people. It doesn't matter what - volunteer work, soup kitchens, senior aid, halfway houses, animal shelter, etc. Stop dwelling on yourself.


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## Mr B (Feb 6, 2009)

People with moderate depression can often keep the symptoms at bay using medication and exercise. But they will always been far more susceptible to getting depressed than non depressed people. If they also suffer from anxiety it is often the case that heavy stress can lead to high anxiety which in turn sets off a depressive episode even if they are on meds. It is important that these people try to live quiet lives avoiding people and situations that can set off the illness.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Free Calorie Counter, Diet & Exercise Journal | MyFitnessPal.com

Start just by counting calories. Log your food. this will work.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

For years I struggled with depression. The only thing that stopped me from getting fat was a high metabolism but even that began to fail me in my 40's. The weight began to creep up as I continued to comfort myself with food.

How I fixed it was with therapy and lots of it. Once I fixed the depression my need to overeat just....went away. My energy came back, my willpower came back, all of it. I was then able to get out of bed, to start slowly working out and baby step my way out of the frumpy depressed housewife I'd morphed into.

I still reach for food when upset but 90% of the time I can talk myself out of it. Food will probably always be my drug of choice but I know now like any other drug it only makes matters worse. I now find other ways to comfort myself that won't make me feel bad about myself.

If you are a reader I suggest the book Depression Free Naturally. That book really motivated me to change my diet in order to change my mood.


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## desert-rose (Aug 16, 2011)

Depression sucks and I know it better than I'd like to from my own experiences. It keeps you from doing the things you want to do. And it contributes to inactivity which leads to obesity. 

I get fat when I'm depressed. When I snap out of it and realize what I've done to myself, I work like a maniac to lose it. It goes back and forth for me a lot.

I suggest that you talk to your doctor about antidepressants and see if you can motivate yourself to exercise. It may help you. Some antidepressants, however, cause weight gain -- which is avoidable if the meds are working well for you and you are energized enough to work out 3-5 times a week.

An alternative to that is a weight loss helper drug like phentermine (you need to talk to a doctor about this so they can monitor your liver function; no drinking, no mixing other meds with it, some risks involved). I used phentermine + exercise and lost like 35 pounds because I was really tired of my EH/WH yelling at me for not trying hard enough to lose weight (I was going to spin class 3x a week, but it wasn't enough); he was cheating and no matter what I did, it was crap and he didn't even notice that I'd dropped 6 dress sizes. Unfortunately, it messes with your mood (a lot) sometimes and it's easy to gain weight back after you stop taking it. I stopped for a while, kept up exercise for a bit, but then got depressed again in November and now I'm working to shed my depression weight again. 

You have to be consistent and work at it every day. Make a meal plan for the week. STICK TO IT. Make an exercise plan for the week (starting with 3 days and moving up to 5, increase in intensity at 2 week intervals). STICK TO IT. The trick is to stay accountable and not fall off the weight-loss wagon. Too easy to slip into bad habits. Your depression will lessen when you build your new routine. It takes 2-3 weeks to build a new routine, so if you can stick to it that long, you might be able to go farther.


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## lonesomegra (Dec 11, 2011)

Mr B said:


> People with moderate depression can often keep the symptoms at bay using medication and exercise. But they will always been far more susceptible to getting depressed than non depressed people. If they also suffer from anxiety it is often the case that heavy stress can lead to high anxiety which in turn sets off a depressive episode even if they are on meds. It is important that these people try to live quiet lives avoiding people and situations that can set off the illness.


Sounds like you are describing my situation! What I'd like to know is sleepiness a symptom of depression?


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

My friend has clinical depression. She was diagnosed at 12! She's 45.

She tried every med, every 'miracle'...everything. Clinical trial, went to a mental hospital, etc.

Her husband of 24 years just couldn't deal and left her. I don't blame him. I don't know how I'd hang with a severely depressed person.

Then she got cancer. And it cured her depression.

She beat cancer but still is without depression. She says she gets bouts of sadness and sometimes feels it creeping in but ever since going through that scare of cancer and chemo, and pain, etc, she has a different perspective.

She still takes a med...one that works for her...but her mindset is better.

So, I don't know. Like Runs said, go see your doctor, and then get outside yourself.


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## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

Wow, that would put everything into perspective wouldn't it? Thanks for sharing that story. I have been on the road to changing my life. Since it has been warm, I have been taking long rides in my convertible with the top down. I cut off all my long nails and I dyed my hair very blonde (it was dirty blonde). I am also doing a walking workout that someone on here recommended. So things are looking up.

I am so glad your friend survived and is now enjoying her life! Happy endings seem rare these days. Thank again!


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## Mr B (Feb 6, 2009)

lonesomegra said:


> Sounds like you are describing my situation! What I'd like to know is sleepiness a symptom of depression?


Yes both sleeping too much and severe insomnia are both major symptoms of depression.


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## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

Mr B said:


> Yes both sleeping too much and severe insomnia are both major symptoms of depression.


I have BOTH and it sucks! One day I cannot stay awake, the next I am up for 24 hours and I do not feel tired. Some of you may notice many of my posts on here are during the wee hours of the night and early morning. That is because I am still up and can't sleep.


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## savannah (Apr 4, 2008)

Have gained some weight too since H and I barely do anyhting together anymore, and all i get was constant comments on hw I looked.. etc. -- got me on HIS depression mode too.... but this month, I had it- hated the way I looked, and I actually got up, joined the gym and feeling good that I am doing this FOR ME... I can't say its easy, but try to do it FOR YOU.

You said you used to do yoga- I started doing yoga and it is an amazingly relaxing feeling.... it may actually even help you feel better overall...?

I think anything that keeps us focused, hobbies etc. can help center us better in life. for me deciding to loose the weight I gained and not get drawn into my H depression was what motivated me to get out and do something.. If not for anyone else, do it for YOU.

take it ONE day at a time , focus on today, what you want to do... get out there and do it, tomorrow is another day you can deal with it then!


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

Only thing I can think of would be to volunteer somewhere....
Gets you out of the house, sometimes it makes your life look better  and sometimes it opens new doors or avenues you didnt know about. 

But I do think getting OUT is a good start. Any people aversion?


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

endlessgrief said:


> hearing "just get out of bed" or "just go to the gym" really pisses me off and makes me want to do murder.


I used to hear this all the time. Really drove me crazy and made me feel more pathetic. 

I had a pretty severe bout of depression when I moved with my H to a new town. I had no job, no money, no friends, family, etc. I slept all day, watched tv all night, and of course put on weight. After about a year of that I started working on myself. One of the best things I did was adopt a one year old dog from the pound. Because of her I had to go outside at least once a day. My depression was so severe that some days it was a real struggle and all I could do was take her out, at night, for a few minutes. But it was something. She also had some severe behavioral issues and in helping her over come some of her fears I had to get out of my depression a little. She also needed A LOT of exercise. I ran with her, well, more like she dragged me for miles and I lost a ton of weight. I went biking with her, walks, and now we roller blade. If I do nothing else but sit all day I at least have to walk her for 45 minutes or she drives me crazy.


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