# Dealing with the insult



## ManOhMan2013 (Aug 1, 2013)

How does a man deal with the insult of being rejected TWICE for a job at a company that he is clearly qualified for. This job is literally right down the street from where he lives. I guess by insult I mean being rejected by the same guy who interviewed him twice several years in a row. I know, I know, get over it! But it's just hard sometimes after so much rejection! Oh well, onward and upward!!!


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

ManOhMan2013 said:


> How does a man deal with the insult of being rejected TWICE for a job at a company that he is clearly qualified for. This job is literally right down the street from where he lives. I guess by insult I mean being rejected by the same guy who interviewed him twice several years in a row. I know, I know, get over it! But it's just hard sometimes after so much rejection! Oh well, onward and upward!!!


Don't interview there again as long as that guy is there. Interviewing is a numbers game. Keep it moving and he will land a job.


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## youraverageguy (Sep 2, 2013)

qualifications are only a small part of getting hired,

personality and social skills are big determining factors


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## ManOhMan2013 (Aug 1, 2013)

youraverageguy said:


> qualifications are only a small part of getting hired,
> 
> personality and social skills are big determining factors


Well he has both. I guess he (me) doesn't mesh the the cold calculated corporate snobs.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

the guy just doesn't like you really nothing you can do about it . I know it hurts but you really want to work around a guy who already has negative opinion ?

Keep plugging away . if you can take some classes and show that you are still developing . and then just try to be positive . I know it's hard but think of it this way , you survive up until now and you'll continue to survive . you'll find what you need even if it isn't what you want . I don't know if you believe in God but God usually takes care of us if we do our part . the hardest thing to remember is that having faith in yourself and believing in a positive outcome are your part.

we are all pulling for you .
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

read up on how to interview well and practice.

I think this is your biggest hurtle. body language,how to dress, etc,etc,etc

good luck 


oh, and try to always have an open mind like this is the job I am going to score.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

ManOhMan2013 said:


> Well he has both. I guess he (me) doesn't mesh the the cold calculated corporate snobs.


No offense intended (I say that in a number of your threads). But after multiple years of unsuccessful job hunting, you need to figure out what's not working for you. Did you say you've worked with a job coach before?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

ManOhMan2013 said:


> Well he has both. I guess he (me) doesn't mesh the the cold calculated corporate snobs.





PBear said:


> No offense intended (I say that in a number of your threads). But after multiple years of unsuccessful job hunting, you need to figure out what's not working for you. Did you say you've worked with a job coach before?
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Honestly, OP, your personality comes across in your posts as somewhat histrionic. You seem high strung. I'm going to guess that it may come across that way in person as well. If that's the case, it can inhibit your getting hired, no matter how qualified you may be. As PBear said, if you've been job hunting for years without success, it may be time to consider the common denominator. So figure out what you're doing that isn't working and change it.


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## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

Who says you were rejected?

Maybe it's just that a better candidate was accepted.

That doesn't mean you were bad for the job, just that someone else came with a better set of credentials.


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## ManOhMan2013 (Aug 1, 2013)

LonelyinLove said:


> Who says you were rejected?
> 
> Maybe it's just that a better candidate was accepted.
> 
> That doesn't mean you were bad for the job, just that someone else came with a better set of credentials.


*Trust me I doubt they had someone with better credentials.*


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## ManOhMan2013 (Aug 1, 2013)

Rowan said:


> Honestly, OP, your personality comes across in your posts as somewhat histrionic. You seem high strung. I'm going to guess that it may come across that way in person as well. If that's the case, it can inhibit your getting hired, no matter how qualified you may be. As PBear said, if you've been job hunting for years without success, it may be time to consider the common denominator. So figure out what you're doing that isn't working and change it.


*I am going to look into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Seriously, I am. All my life people have said I was nervous. I never saw it.*





PBear said:


> No offense intended (I say that in a number of your threads). But after multiple years of unsuccessful job hunting, you need to figure out what's not working for you. Did you say you've worked with a job coach before?
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


*Right now, I can't pay for a job coach. I have spent thousands on therapy and even a sort of coach back in the 1990s.*


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## ManOhMan2013 (Aug 1, 2013)

*Okay I am so tempted! This LOCAL company has yet another job posted. They rejected me twice already. I am so tempted to send the interviewers who rejected me a "thanks but no thanks email." I would like to give him a piece of my mind. OF COURSE, I WILL NOT DO THAT!*


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

ManOhMan2013 said:


> *I am going to look into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Seriously, I am. All my life people have said I was nervous. I never saw it.*
> 
> 
> 
> ...


The 1990's was around 20 years ago. Do your employment issues go back that far?

And you need to consider the job coach as an investment. Find one, and find out how much it will cost. Then work on a budget to make it happen. Look into free services, as well. Government or community programs might be available.

C


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

This thread reminds me of when I had just graduated.
I went jobless for almost two years.
I was really frustrated and it was the lowest point in my life.
However it inspired me to want to start my own business.

Five years later I did just that and today, own a business.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

"Fair" is a place one visits to ride the Ferris Wheel and eat cotton candy. The job was never his, so he's lost nothing. If a door is locked, there's no value in continuing to knock on it or standing before it looking sad. Go try another.


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## Balzaar (Aug 29, 2013)

OP,
I was skimming your posts and wondered if you have recruiters or staffing managers working on your behalf? 

These folks do not cost anything but they will provide coaching for you and they may have contract work that requires no interviewing at all. This may be a great way for you to get your foot back in the door.


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

QTIP

Quit Taking It Personally


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## Sanity (Mar 7, 2011)

unbelievable said:


> "Fair" is a place one visits to ride the Ferris Wheel and eat cotton candy. The job was never his, so he's lost nothing. If a door is locked, there's no value in continuing to knock on it or standing before it looking sad. Go try another.


Brother you need to write a book and sell it. I will buy the first signed copy :smthumbup:


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## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

ManOhMan2013 said:


> *Trust me I doubt they had someone with better credentials.*


Really? How do you know this? 

You reviewed all the submitted resumes?

If this is the attitude you take into the interview, no wonder you are receiving rejection letters.


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## Sanity (Mar 7, 2011)

OP,

You have posted multiple threads on the issue and yet another one hoping we tell you something different. Clearly there are issues on how you approach the job hunt and in this economy you need to be even more competitive. Employers buy what's called labor to do a specific task over and over and give you more money based on performance and other job responsibilities. The problem in this economy is that the the supply of labor is high and the demand low hence depressed wages or higher qualifications which also means more skills + experience = You don't meet the needs of the employers.

You need to stop the narcissism and feelings of entitlement. The employer owes you nothing. You need to improve your qualifications and work on your weaknesses. We all have room for improvement otherwise we would all work for NASA launching satellites without calculators. 

Stop the whiny attitude and MAKE your future by selling your labor and skills to the employer and always strive to get top dollar for it.


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## ManOhMan2013 (Aug 1, 2013)

Sanity said:


> OP,
> 
> You have posted multiple threads on the issue and yet another one hoping we tell you something different. Clearly there are issues on how you approach the job hunt and in this economy you need to be even more competitive. Employers buy what's called labor to do a specific task over and over and give you more money based on performance and other job responsibilities. The problem in this economy is that the the supply of labor is high and the demand low hence depressed wages or higher qualifications which also means more skills + experience = You don't meet the needs of the employers.
> 
> ...


Sanity how dare you! You clearly lack Sanity. You're just a troll trying to demean and insult me. So I posted lots of threads. GET OVER IT!!! I deleted many of them. Go insult someone else. You do not know me. I am not what you accuse me of.


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## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

ManOhMan2013 said:


> Sanity how dare you! You clearly lack Sanity. You're just a troll trying to demean and insult me. So I posted lots of threads. GET OVER IT!!! I deleted many of them. Go insult someone else. You do not know me. I am not what you accuse me of.


How dare you? Really? That's your response? 

You came here looking for support and guidance and when you get it, you dismiss it because it's not what you want to hear.

Professionally, I'm a Management Analyst, and I participate in my companies hiring process. 

I can promise you that if you re taking the attitude you've shown here into your interviews, you are blowing it, big time.

Confidence is one thing...arrogance is another, especially when combined with poor communication skills.

Knock the chip off of your shoulder and employ some of the suggestions, ideas and comments provided to you free of charge by your fellow TAM members.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

So the "cold calculated corporate snobs" insulted you. Turnera insulted you in The Social Spot thread you posted. Now Sanity has insulted you.

This leaves me wondering why you keep posting if you feel you are being insulted. Maybe TAM isn't the best forum for you. Are there other sites where unemployed people give each other tips, insights, or can just vent? Perhaps a forum like that may be a better fit. 

I see people here who are giving advice. Why not just take what you like and leave the rest? After all, this is cyberspace. The people here are strangers. Why get ticked off at them?

JMO.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

As others have told you... You can't take this personally. These interviewers aren't bringing you in just to waste your time and then laughing about not hiring you after you leave. Nobody has that kind of time to waste. They're bringing you in because your resume indicates you are potentially the kind of person that might fit a position they have open. But they likely have other candidates as well, and for whatever reason, they felt another candidate was a better fit.

As far as Sanity... We can only respond to what you post in here. None of us know you. None of us have an agenda to hurt you or mock you. Most of us are trying to help. So if you want to be treated differently, act differently. Yes, this is a place to vent. But it's mostly a place to seek input and help. So people are trying to offer you that. Just because you don't like what people are trying to tell you doesn't mean that they're wrong, or that they're mean, or that you have to listen. But you might as well think rationally and calmly about the input, especially when it's like one voice, all saying the same thing. There might be a nugget of information in there that you can use to start making a change.

C


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## youraverageguy (Sep 2, 2013)

ManOhMan2013 said:


> *Trust me I doubt they had someone with better credentials.*


how do you know that for a fact?

as i said previously, credentials are only a small part of the interview/hiring process,

first impressions, personality, and social skills are all very important,

no need to dwell on it, just move on


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

One can't possibly know if they are best qualified for a job unless they know exactly what the employer wants. If I show up with a huge resume' but the hiring authority wants a non-threatening minion who has little ambition and no chance of ever unseating the hiring authority, I'm not what he's looking for. If the hiring authority has crooked crap going on and I show up talking about my values of honesty and integrity, I'm not what he wants. The person who doesn't hire the objectively best "qualified" person isn't someone I'd want to work for, anyway. They can't have the company's best interest at heart.


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