# EA...



## Mylife1234 (Oct 8, 2013)

Hi Everyone-

I have my own thread explaining my issues, however, I wanted to ask a gerneral question. I would like some opinions.

1. Are EA's (Emotional Affairrs) enough cause for a divorce?

2. Do you really beleive only an EA happened?


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

Can an EA result in divorce?

Yes.

only an EA and not a PA?

maybe.


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## marshmallow (Oct 15, 2013)

Yes, and yes, I think it's possible. I've never been cheated on, but I believe it's entirely possible for one to have an EA as opposed to a PA.


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

Mylife1234 said:


> Hi Everyone-
> 
> I have my own thread explaining my issues, however, I wanted to ask a gerneral question. I would like some opinions.
> 
> ...


I don't have any statistical data to back up my assertion. But I would lay odds that in a vast majority of situations where the WS has the opportunity; that they try to convince the BS it was "only" an EA, when it was a PA. There was a time when I wasn't up to speed on the cheater's script, of only admitting to what evidence has been presented.

This happened to me of course; and to be honest, thinking it was an EA, didn't phase me as much as it should have. I didn't realize then how EA's are more often just the beginning of the PA continuum; or how likely is was for the WS to lie about it.

Now, I feel totally different about EA's. I would never tolerate one in the future. But that's how infidelity can effect you.


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## Samus (Aug 28, 2012)

Yes it can and your husband is not having an EA. He is having sex with another man's wife who has 4 kids. Shame on your husband.


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## vi_bride04 (Mar 28, 2012)

I divorced my ex when I found him starting an EA.....

But he had a PA 5yrs prior. Wasn't going that rd again!!!


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## vi_bride04 (Mar 28, 2012)

Samus said:


> Yes it can and your husband is not having an EA. He is having sex with another man's wife who has 4 kids. Shame on your husband.




You have exposed, haven't you OP?

If not please do.


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## Mylife1234 (Oct 8, 2013)

Samus said:


> Yes it can and your husband is not having an EA. He is having sex with another man's wife who has 4 kids. Shame on your husband.


LOL. I wasnt making the post personal. I was just wondering.

Either way, my husbands a d***. There's no help for that man, he sure is gonna be pissed tomorrow its delivery day.


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## Lovemytruck (Jul 3, 2012)

Mylife1234 said:


> Hi Everyone-
> 
> I have my own thread explaining my issues, however, I wanted to ask a gerneral question. I would like some opinions.
> 
> ...


1. Yes. Maybe you need to break it down in your mind and decide that a D is a choice. People D for all kinds of reasons. What will bring you regret? What is the best long-term solution for you?

2. No. I am just basing it on what you have said in your thread. I think PA. Most men (me included) would not risk a wife/family for some feel good chat. If he was just flirting and getting his ego fix, he would back off in a heartbeat once you confronted him. Sex is a much stronger urge. He is conflicted (IMO) because he likes the sex.

Sounds like you want some concrete evidence, and you may not get it. Trust becomes the killer of your marriage.


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## x598 (Nov 14, 2012)

an EA is just the begining phase. if it didnt go PA, it just means you caught it early.


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## Lovemytruck (Jul 3, 2012)

x598 said:


> an EA is just the begining phase. if it didnt go PA, it just means you caught it early.


:iagree:

This is a good point. Does it matter where it was on the scale of being physical? Guarantee his INTENTION was sex.


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

EA (IMO) is cause for D.

My wife had very sexual EA's in 1999 and 2010. I got most of that information and there was no hook ups. In 1999 the one guy was in Canada and one was in England. As I had a keylogger on our computer I knew she never met them. She was seeing an OM at the time as well.

In 2010. My wife did not have an opportunity to meet the OM. He lieve too far away. I also talked to his wife. 

My IC and others warned me that my wife would continue and that if a guy was local it would go PA and it did. Dumb me.


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## onestepatatime (Oct 23, 2013)

I could definitely say an EA can result in a divorce. My hubby had a brief EA with his high school sweetheart. I have told him that if it happens again, then I am leaving. I cannot and will not go through all that again. A year on, it still hurts and I am still trying to move on. His ex was in a different country, but I do wonder if it would have been a PA if we were in the same country. She lives half an hour away from where we used to live, so it is a possibility. EA's are just as painful, if not more because there are feelings involved. That is how I see it anyway.


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## Harken Banks (Jun 12, 2012)

1. If you do not want to remain married to the person you are married to stop being married to them.

2. It's a question we all have. The intent and expressed desire were there for sure. 

Back to your first question. There may be lots and compelling reasons to leave this behind. That would have been easy before the wedding or while it could have been written off as a starter marriage. And that brings us to: There may be compelling reasons to try to salvage. There are frustratingly few bright or even visible lines. I have been around long enough that I should know where they are, but I don't, and I cross them daily.


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## lacey99 (Oct 18, 2013)

x598 said:


> an EA is just the begining phase. if it didnt go PA, it just means you caught it early.


that's my story...but still hurts, still a betrayal and still tough to R....

I think D is always gonna be a possiblity especially depending on the people involved but it doesn't always have to be a PA


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## lacey99 (Oct 18, 2013)

onestepatatime said:


> : I have told him that if it happens again, then I am leaving. I cannot and will not go through all that again. A year on, it still hurts and I am still trying to move on. His ex was in a different country, but I do wonder if it would have been a PA if we were in the same country. She lives half an hour away from where we used to live, so it is a possibility. EA's are just as painful, if not more because there are feelings involved. That is how I see it anyway.


:iagree:


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## Bamzor (Aug 15, 2012)

1. Yes, I am a firm believer that EA's take time to evolve. PA's can be a drunk one night stand. 2. Maybe, right now NO. She says no, but too many chances to hook up in 3 months.


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## esremp (Oct 25, 2013)

It depends. I need more info.


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## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

I get the sense people mean different things when they say "EA" -- in my opinion if you're openly doing anything sexual, like exchanging pictures or having sexual gchats or whatever, that's beyond an EA because it's openly sexual.

In my case, this is what EA meant: there was a woman who I became friends with, and I started to spend a lot of time around her. At first I really thought I wasn't attracted and it was just a friendship, but some point we knew we had feelings for each other, but I fought it and tried to convince myself I could just be friends. I stayed in denial like that for a while, lots of push and pull, telling myself it wasn't an affair but needing to see her a lot and not being fully honest with my wife about how much I was communicating with her - I think the OW was more set in her mind that she wanted it to become a full-blown affair (she was in a bad marriage) whereas I was not so sure about that (I had marital problems but I loved my wife and wanted to stay with her). This dragged on for a long time, until I did something really stupid, which was go to her house for dinner. I did nothing physical other than a very awkward and unsexual hug at the end of the night, but while I was there it suddenly slapped me in the face what we were doing and how wrong and stupid it was. After that I wound things down -- first limiting the contexts in which I saw her and then realizing I had to stop seeing her at all, at which point I also came clean to my wife. 

So yes, it's possible for an EA not to become a PA. And also, I think this is one difference between an EA and a PA -- in an EA, there's still a line that the spouse is choosing not to cross, and I think that at least means something. Yes it's true that in some case an EA is just a PA waiting to happen that gets caught, but in my case that wasn't true. I could have made it a PA if I wanted to and I didn't.


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## ne9907 (Jul 17, 2013)

Mylife1234 said:


> Hi Everyone-
> 
> I have my own thread explaining my issues, however, I wanted to ask a gerneral question. I would like some opinions.
> 
> ...


Yes, EA are enough cause for divorce. It is my experience that when an EA happens, it is because the marriage/relationship is lacking in other areas. When these other areas are not improved because the H/W does not acknowledge any problems then the EA will just cause more friction in a marriage.
The BS feels she/he has done everything within her powers to resolves the issues and nothing gets resolved.

Besides, why would a person stay with a WS after an EA if the WS is not remorseful??


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## ne9907 (Jul 17, 2013)

> Most men (me included) would not risk a wife/family for some feel good chat


:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:

My stbxh must be in denial. He had multiple EA ( I know for sure) and always said they were just friends. Even when I told me it upset me.
Or he didn't give a ****.


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