# How do you feel about girls who carry around condoms in their purses?



## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

The title says it all.

I must say girls who keep condoms make me feel a bit uneasy i want to see if its just me!

I don't like carrying around condoms and don't and twice have i met girls with which things escalated pretty quick and both of them sort of freaked me out, specially one who had condoms of both normal and big size in her drawer!


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## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)

*Re: how would you feel if a girl keeps condoms in her purse*

Where I come from there are plenty of women walking around with kids they didn't want or plan and more often than not their excuse is "Well the man didn't have a condom! That's his responsibility!" Those women as far as I'm concerned are idiots.

So I find it a positive when I know a woman who keeps condoms in her purse, in her car, in her apartment or whatever. There's nothing wrong with being responsible and protecting yourself. At the end of the day it's your body.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

*Re: how would you feel if a girl keeps condoms in her purse*

Means she 1. likes sex and 2. has it often to where she would need a condom.

She's being responsible for her body. When I would go on dates, I would put a condom in my purse. I wanted to be ready. I didn't always have condoms in my purse for random hookups. Yuck. But I would have a condom in my purse while on a date. I'm grown. Life happens. Although it never happened to where I needed the condom LOL!


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

I would be appreciative. Better in a purse than my wallet.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

I would think her parents/ school did a good job educating her about safe sex.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

What's wrong with carrying condoms? It means she is aware of how easily sexually transmitted diseases can be passed and she also wants to avoid an unplanned pregnancy. I don't see what the problem is. Better safe sex than unsafe sex.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

I've noticed a theme in your previous posts and this one. You don't seem to like it if a woman is sexually active and revels in her sexuality.


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

Well, I'm a girl, but I'll tell you a funny story. When I was getting ready to go into the Army, a counselor at the detox clinic where I volunteered called me into his office to say goodbye. As he did, he told me he had something for me, and pulled out this HUGE box of condoms - like an 8" x 8" box of them - and handed me a few long strips of condoms. He told me that whatever happened, I should keep myself safe.

When I got to basic training and they were doing the first of many shakedowns, they told us we had an amnesty period to get rid of any contraband. The drill sergeant was yelling at us all saying, "That means no dirty magazines... no cigarettes...no drugs! Turn them in now because if you get caught later, you will regret it!" 

I was paralyzed with fear. Did condoms count as contraband? I finally decided to be on the safe side and turn them in. As I pulled a couple DOZEN condoms from my purse, the DS looked at me and said (loudly and in front of about 90 recruits) "What exactly did you join the Army for, Private?"


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

Ok so then it was just a coincidence that most girls i knew who are going around with condoms in their purses go through boys like they were toilet paper!

Edit: lets make that THOSE two girls i knew because its not like i ask girls i don't have sex with if they have condoms with them!


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

Jack29 said:


> Ok so then it was just a coincidence that most girls i knew who are going around with condoms in their purses go through boys like they were toilet paper!


So what's your point? If that's what they want to do its got nothing to do with you!
Not all girls who carry condoms sleep around.
So what's your opinion of men who carry condoms?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

Coffee Amore said:


> I've noticed a theme in your previous posts and this one. You don't seem to like it if a woman is sexually active and revels in her sexuality.


Everything in moderation


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

If they are having safe sex more power them. Guys are not the only ones responsible. I tell my sons " no sex in tepee without a condom on your pee pee"


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

> Jack29:
> Ok so then it was just a coincidence that most girls i knew who are going around with condoms in their purses go through boys like they were toilet paper!


No, women who go around with condoms in their purses EXPECT to engage in sexual activity. Maybe not EVERY time they go out, maybe not with EVERY guy they go out with. But often enough that they want to be prepared for when they DO DECIDE they want to have sex. What's wrong with that?

If you find a woman with a very active past sexual history a turn-off (as some men do), that's fine! Avoid women with this type of reputation and behavior.

As for a woman having 2 sizes of condoms in her bedroom drawer, so what? Were you under the impression she was a VIRGIN? If so, then you could have walked away and said, 'Hey, you're not who I thought you were.' But I'll bet you went ahead and sex with her anyway, right? That's okay, no judgement here....but you don't get to NOW imply that she's "one of THOSE" women....because *that* would make YOU "one of THOSE" men.

What's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

My daughter is almost 19, and if she was carrying condoms around in her purse that wouldn't sit well with me unless she was in a steady relationship.

Personally, I think that you shouldn't need them unless you're with someone on a steady basis. Call me old fashioned, I just think women - and men - shouldn't be having sex unless they know the person fairly well, and they've thought about it and planned ahead. To keep a condom in your purse or wallet 'just in case' tells me the person is into casual sex, which I do not think people should be doing. but that's just me  I certainly don't go around spouting my opinion to everyone who will listen to me and condemning people who do have casual sex.


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

daisygirl 41 said:


> So what's your point? If that's what they want to do its got nothing to do with you!
> Not all girls who carry condoms sleep around.
> So what's your opinion of men who carry condoms?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I don't carry condoms. But girls who take me to bed and then pull out a condom sort of freak me out. I get this feeling that "i'm there to perform and I better otherwise they will boot my ass and not ask for my services anymore"! At least that is what i have read in their eyes, its not like they told it to me!


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

Jack29 said:


> I don't carry condoms. But girls who take me to bed and then pull out a condom sort of freak me out. I get this feeling that "i'm there to perform and I better otherwise they will boot my ass and not ask for my services anymore"! At least that is what i have read in their eyes, its not like they told it to me!


What are you doing in their bed if you don't want sex?


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

Jack29 said:


> I don't carry condoms. But girls who take me to bed and then pull out a condom sort of freak me out. I get this feeling that "i'm there to perform and I better otherwise they will boot my ass and not ask for my services anymore"! At least that is what i have read in their eyes, its not like they told it to me!


Pot, meet kettle.

You're going to criticize a female for being prepared for safe sex, while you're unprepared for it? Nice, Jack....


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Jack29 said:


> *Ok so then it was just a coincidence that most girls i knew who are going around with condoms in their purses go through boys like they were toilet paper!*
> 
> Edit: lets make that THOSE two girls i knew because its not like i ask girls i don't have sex with if they have condoms with them!


Yes, it is a coincidence. I had condoms in my purse, and even in the drawer of my bedside table. I didn't sleep around at all. And yet, I felt I should be prepared because not every man IS prepared... for example, you. You said yourself that you don't like carrying around condoms. And yet, you still hooked up with those two girls, who are, apparently, the dredges of society and need to burn in hell for their actions...well, from the way you speak anyway. 
God forbid a woman doesn't want to get pregnant by a man who is so irresponsible.



Jack29 said:


> The title says it all.
> 
> I must say girls who keep condoms make me feel a bit uneasy i want to see if its just me!
> 
> *I don't like carrying around condoms and don't *and twice have i met girls with which things escalated pretty quick and both of them sort of freaked me out, specially *one who had condoms* of both normal and big size *in her drawer!*


Having condoms in her drawer is NOT the same thing as "carrying around condoms in her purse". I would think a grown man would be able to recognize the difference.

And only "normal" and "big" sizes? Hmmm... no wonder you were put off.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

KathyBatesel said:


> Pot, meet kettle.
> 
> You're going to criticize a female for being prepared for safe sex, while you're unprepared for it? Nice, Jack....


Dang I missed this and it's true.

If you don't want a woman who is sexually active then why are you letting them take you to bed?


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

KathyBatesel said:


> Pot, meet kettle.
> 
> You're going to criticize a female for being prepared for safe sex, while you're unprepared for it? Nice, Jack....


I know that im not displaying the highest of morals myself but i wouldn't mind if we did not rush into things. And i don't think there is many guys who will pass out on a chance when a girls invites them in her room/bed although i know there are some who will


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

> Jack:
> *I don't carry condoms*. But *girls who take me to bed *and then pull out a condom sort of freak me out.


Are you for real? Is this a religious thing? What do YOU think of people who:

engage in premarital sex?
engage in premarital sex with strangers?
Because YOU apparently DO BOTH! You JUDGE these women as skeezy 'ho's because they are PREPARED to have sex. They acknowledge their sexuality and deal with it in a responsible (birth control-wise) manner.

YOU, on the other hand, REFUSE to carry a condom (why, so God won't think you're a 'sinner'?). YOU talk about how THEY take YOU to bed. Why? So you're not RESPONSIBLE for your behavior/sin...someone else led you to it? YOU act like having sex WITHOUT a condom somehow makes you both BETTER/HOLIER/MORE VIRTUOUS people....'oh, we were so overwhelmed it just happened'. Penis in vagina is penis in vagina...whether intended or not! Why you would risk disease and unplanned pregnancy YET condemn/judge those who try to mitigate those outcomes is TOTALLY BEYOND ME!


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Jack29 said:


> I don't carry condoms.* But girls who take me to bed and then pull out a condom sort of freak me out.* I get this feeling that "i'm there to perform and I better otherwise they will boot my ass and not ask for my services anymore"! At least that is what i have read in their eyes, its not like they told it to me!


So, you're saying you would rather f*ck them bareback? And risk STDs? Or even pregnancy? Really? Somehow, I don't think you are emotionally ready for that.


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> Are you for real? Is this a religious thing? What do YOU think of people who:
> 
> engage in premarital sex?
> engage in premarital sex with strangers?
> ...


You people are getting me all wrong. I don't "don't carry condoms on me" because i want unsafe sex, i wouln't "never ever" have unsafe sex with some i didn't knew. the reason i don't carry condoms with me is:

a) when im not dating i don't wake up in the morning thinking that i might happen that i will have sex with a random girl i haven't yet met! Its not how i like it!
b) When on early dates i find it reasonable that there has to be some time before you start having sexual relations that is why i was unprepared when it came to having a condom with me because it was like 2nd date with the girl and i it did not OCCOUR to me she would take me to bed! I went there though and that is where my fault lies!


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

If you find some woman who's a stranger, she takes you back to her place, you to hook-up and have sex WITHOUT condoms (cuz she's obviously NOT a skeezy 'ho), when she calls you two months later to say she's PREGNANT, what will you tell her?


OMG! I am so sorry! We really were irresponsible idiots!
...Susan WHO?
Yeah, right, b1tch, don't try to palm your [email protected] kid off on me, slvt!
No way! You can't prove that kid's mine, b1tch! You just want my $$$$.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Jack29 said:


> I know that* im not displaying the highest of morals*


No kidding 



Jack29 said:


> but i wouldn't mind if we did not rush into things.


Then don't. Don't rush into it.



Jack29 said:


> *And i don't think there is many guys who will pass out on a chance* when a girls invites them in her room/bed although i know there are some who will


Well, see, there's your problem. Instead of focusing on what OTHER guys would do, why not focus on yourself and maybe TRY to be a better man? I know, with all that temptation out there, it's GOT to be rough!  But an upstanding guy who actually doesn't behave so hypocritically would turn them down. You don't like women who behave like that? Well... don't f*ck them then. Problem solved.


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> If you find some woman who's a stranger, she takes you back to her place, you to hook-up and have sex WITHOUT condoms (cuz she's obviously NOT a skeezy 'ho), when she calls you two months later to say she's PREGNANT, what will you tell her?
> 
> 
> OMG! I am so sorry! We really were irresponsible idiots!
> ...


If i find a woman like that and if she does not have condom i simply don't f*ck her because i sure as hell do not carry random condoms and im affraid of STDs as much as everyone!


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Allowing yourself to get into a position where you wish you DID have a condom in your wallet, and to go ahead with sex anyway, isn't any better than carrying them around with you, whether the girl has one in her purse or not.

If you don't carry them in your wallet, don't go home with random girls from bars.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Everything in moderation?

:rofl:

I like sex. A LOT. No moderation. Screw that. Literally.


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

Hope1964 said:


> If you don't carry them in your wallet, don't go home with random girls from bars.


I haven't (most times). Sometimes its hard to resist...


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Dude, you're a hypocrite.

Either start carrying them in your wallet, or stop having casual sex.


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

> Jack:
> If i find a woman like that and if she does not have condom i simply don't f*ck her because i sure as hell do not carry random condoms and im affraid of STDs as much as everyone!



So if she DOESN'T have a condom, you don't fvck her. You think she's a good girl.

If she DOES have a condom, you fvck her but you think she's a slvt.
How do you picture YOURSELF in that last scenario? Man-wh0re, or not?

Honestly, Jack, I find your 'take' on sexual relations VERY skewed!


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

that_girl said:


> Everything in moderation?
> 
> :rofl:
> 
> I like sex. A LOT. No moderation. Screw that. Literally.


Thats the very thing I have found disturbing about the girls im talking about. They wanted it way more often than i wanted it. Never gave me a break. It did freak me out!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Yea. Men were freaked out by me too. Screw that. Honestly. I always felt they just couldn't hang. Not enough testosterone. 

My husband liked sex a lot so it was a good thing. 

I won't feel bad about my sexuality or how frequent I want to bang the crap out of my lover. Lucky them. If the person is freaked out, then it's not a good match.

Find a meek little woman who will just let you crawl under the covers and have your way once in a while


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Jack29 said:


> *You people are getting me all wrong.* I don't "don't carry condoms on me" because i want unsafe sex, i wouln't "never ever" have unsafe sex with some i didn't knew. the reason i don't carry condoms with me is:


No, I really don't think we have you all wrong. I think we have you figured out quite right, actually.



Jack29 said:


> a) when im not dating i don't wake up in the morning thinking that i might happen that i will have sex with a random girl i haven't yet met! Its not how i like it!


And what makes you think women who DO carry them in their purses, or have some in their bedside drawers are thinking that? Seriously. Some have them in there from *gasp* previous relationships. Imagine that. The condoms didn't expire, so they didn't toss them out immediately because... wait for it... they anticipated that one day they WOULD have sex again! Shocking, I know!



Jack29 said:


> b) When on early dates i find it reasonable that there has to be some time before you start having sexual relations that is why i was unprepared when it came to having a condom with me because it was like 2nd date with the girl and i it did not OCCOUR to me she would take me to bed! *I went there though and that is where my fault lies!*


Yes! That IS where your fault lies! OMG! Did I get enough exclamations there? Seriously, Jack. If you didn't want to have sex, you could have said no. The fact that she had condoms IN HER DRAWER means nothing about whether or not she "tosses men away like toilet paper". It means she knows that there are SOME men who are irresponsible. And, for the (it feels like) millionth time... don't hold people to standards you aren't willing to live up to, yourself. By having sex on that second date, it makes you no less of a "slvt" (your opinion of her, not mine) than the woman you had sex with... I'd say it makes you worse because you are a hypocrite about it!


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## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)

Okay this is coming from a guy who just does not mess around with women who sleep around or have a history of doing it, but your view on this topic seems hypocritical and kind of immature.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Jack, your wish washy, you are either OK with causal "no commitment" romping or you are not... It's the old "Double Standard" at play once again. You know this. 

Make up your mind and live your life accordingly... you seem to take delight in advertising your own *hypocrisy* in judging women who bring you to your bed - while you are unzipping your fly. 

By your actions, if you was looking at this correctly..with some form of honesty & integrity ... before you judged another in this... 10 fingers would be pointing back at yourself. 



> *Maricha75 said*: Instead of focusing on what OTHER guys would do, why not focus on yourself and maybe TRY to be a better man? I know, with all that temptation out there, it's GOT to be rough! *But an upstanding guy who actually doesn't behave so hypocritically would turn them down*. You don't like women who behave like that? Well... don't f*ck them then. Problem solved.


 I agree with this... 

Such men exist. Our oldest son is one of them.


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> So if she DOESN'T have a condom, you don't fvck her. You think she's a good girl.
> 
> If she DOES have a condom, you fvck her but you think she's a slvt.
> How do you picture YOURSELF in that last scenario? Man-wh0re, or not?
> ...


1) She doesn't have a condom, she likes me, she likes hanging out with me she likes it when we are talking together! She probably does not care if we will have sex together or not. She also does not like to have sex on early dates. We might get to know each other quite well and trust each other about STDs and other important sexual issues.
2) She carries a condom mere days after we met she wants to screw me, she doesn't think im interesting or fun to be around that is mere some steps she has to go through before she gets down to buissness! If she spends the day with me and at the end of the day she literally takes my clothes off and discovers i don't have condom and she dont have condom she considers the whole day a waste of time and is pissed....and Im all freaked out because i discover i have just been used!


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

Jack29 said:


> If i find a woman like that and if she does not have condom i simply don't f*ck her because i sure as hell do not carry random condoms and im affraid of STDs as much as everyone!


I call BS on this one. If this was true, you wouldn't have been in bed with her to discover that she had those condoms.

Grow up. Like it or not, women are allowed to enjoy sex these days. I've been with MANY men sexually. I like sex a lot more than I like relationships with men who are wrong for me, so I'm all good with FWB setups and short-term relationships, and if you had a problem with it, I'd be perfectly ok with you walking away as soon as you tossed that used condom in the trash. 

You're no catch with that hypocritical double standard! I'd see you as a ridiculously immature little boy who is lost in some fantasyland where HIS values of the moment govern his entire life and leave no room for mine. Thanks, but good riddance.

If you really want to wait to have sex, then act like it.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

This makes me laugh. It's 2013. Not 1940. Women can like sex and be proud about it. Deal.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Jack29 said:


> The title says it all.
> 
> I must say girls who keep condoms make me feel a bit uneasy i want to see if its just me!
> 
> I don't like carrying around condoms and don't and twice have i met girls with which things escalated pretty quick and both of them sort of freaked me out, specially one who had condoms of both normal and big size in her drawer!


You're funny! You needed a condom and didn't have one? But the girl did? And you're freaked out by it? Even if you have a condom, why shouldn't a girl have one? I'd be more freaked out by someone who didn't have one. Yuck!!!!!!!!


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

I think women who carry condoms are brilliant.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

KathyBatesel said:


> I call BS on this one. If this was true, you wouldn't have been in bed with her to discover that she had those condoms.


What do you want me to say if a girl (that i just had a great time with and i find her very pretty) invites me over to her house "im sorry but im affraid you'd want to screw if i come over and i don't want that?!" Besides i can pretty much trust myself to just stay in bed and cuddle! There have been times i have played it dumb but some girls are really to fascinating to resist!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Oh geez. Just want to cuddle? :rofl: Yea no.

I have been with under 10 people...in 36 years. I'm no slvt BUT to lay in bed and cuddle with a new lover wouldn't be my cup of tea and I'd look for someone who could rock my world.  Rawr.


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## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)

Jack29 said:


> What do you want me to say if a girl (that i just had a great time with and i find her very pretty) invites me over to her house "im sorry but im affraid you'd want to screw if i come over and i don't want that?!" Besides i can pretty much trust myself to just stay in bed and cuddle! There have been times i have played it dumb but some girls are really to fascinating to resist!


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

I don't understand what you're complaining about, Jack!?!



> She carries a condom mere days after we met she wants to screw me, she doesn't think im interesting or fun to be around that is mere some steps she has to go through before she gets down to buissness! If she spends the day with me and at the end of the day she literally takes my clothes off and discovers i don't have condom and she dont have condom she considers the whole day a waste of time and is pissed....and Im all freaked out because i discover i have just been used!


*You should be thanking god that you keep finding the 'prepared' young women who have condoms. That way, you can feel SATISFIED and 'used' instead of just plain 'used'*.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I always had a box of condoms in my house.

Better safe than sorry. I never expected a man to be responsible for my body or safe sex.

Well, 2 times I did. And I got two little souveniers out of it :rofl: Nice. They are cool kiddos though.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Jack29 said:


> What do you want me to say if a girl (that i just had a great time with and i find her very pretty) invites me over to her house "im sorry but im affraid you'd want to screw if i come over and i don't want that?!" Besides i can pretty much trust myself to just stay in bed and cuddle! There have been times i have played it dumb but some girls are really to fascinating to resist!


Oh please.
If some women are too fascinating to resist and they have a condom, don't shift the blame onto the condom, or the condom carrier. The fact is, you're an opportunist, you secretly love it when women have a condom, and you tend to rest on your moral laurels when they don't (when it has nothing to do with you, but rather a lack of safe opportunity.) Now, if you were able to say, wow, it's great you have a condom, but let's think this through, I think WE might lose respect for each other if WE go through with this, what do you think? And then the woman might say, you're right, let's go for a walk instead.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Jack29 said:


> What do you want me to say if a girl (that i just had a great time with and i find her very pretty) invites me over to her house "im sorry but im affraid you'd want to screw if i come over and i don't want that?!" Besides i can pretty much trust myself to just stay in bed and cuddle! There have been times i have played it dumb but *some girls are really to fascinating to resist!*


:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

Wow.... as to the first thing you said in the above quote: you tell her no, not tonight, maybe another time. You are under no obligation to go to her place. You make that choice yourself. You can't put the onus on her. You are just as "guilty".


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

If you're into sleeping with people you hardly know, it's best to protect yourself against STDs. If you're not fussy who you sleep with, why should it matter who provides the condoms?


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Maybe you just feel emasculated when women take responsibility for their sexuality? Do you feel it's only a man's place to want and desire the sex?

If so, I don't know what to tell you. Sexuality is mutually shared and enjoyed by men and women. Women no longer pretend to hate it or pretend they don't do it.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I remember a friend telling me this guy she dated took her back to his place and they cuddled and then he wanted to brush her hair :rofl:

She politely excused herself from that creeper.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

that_girl said:


> I remember a friend telling me this guy she dated took her back to his place and they cuddled and then he wanted to brush her hair :rofl:
> 
> She politely excused herself from that creeper.


I would have painted his nails for him 

...and then left. :rofl:


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Jack29 said:


> Ok so then it was just a coincidence that most girls i knew who are going around with condoms in their purses go through boys like they were toilet paper!
> 
> Edit: lets make that THOSE two girls i knew because its not like i ask girls i don't have sex with if they have condoms with them!


Well, then it's good that they had condoms with them. At least it reduced the possibility of children being brought into the situation.

How do you feel about men who have condoms in their wallet?


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Jack29 said:


> The title says it all.
> 
> I must say girls who keep condoms make me feel a bit uneasy i want to see if its just me!
> 
> I don't like carrying around condoms and don't and twice have i met girls with which things escalated pretty quick and both of them sort of freaked me out, specially one who had condoms of both normal and big size in her drawer!


What is a girl?

Being Sponge Worthy


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Jack29 said:


> Thats the very thing I have found disturbing about the girls im talking about. They wanted it way more often than i wanted it. Never gave me a break. It did freak me out!


Never gave you a break? What? All you had to do was to say no.

Why does it freak you out when a woman wants sex more than you do? Are women not allowed to want sex in your world?


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

But if you want to lump yourself in with the lineup of those girls, consider yourself a buttwipe by allmeans, since they did with you what they did with all the other toilet paper boys they've gone through. 

PLEASE try to obtain some schooling in logic.
It would be to your benefit.

I get it that you're confused about morality vs. condoms.
The thing is, condoms are condoms. They can be easily bought and put in one's purse or wallet. It is easy to prove their existence or not. Unless, say, a woman SAYS she does not have a condom, and she really DOES :-o I mean, how would you know, really? 

Anyhow, morality is a concept. It cannot be easily measured. Someone can say they are moral, and won't have sex with you. But do you really know they are moral, or is it just that they really don't want you to know that they do have a condom in their purse, but they're certainly not going to use it with you.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Jack29 said:


> 1) She doesn't have a condom, she likes me, she likes hanging out with me she likes it when we are talking together! She probably does not care if we will have sex together or not. She also does not like to have sex on early dates. We might get to know each other quite well and trust each other about STDs and other important sexual issues.
> 2) She carries a condom mere days after we met she wants to screw me, she doesn't think im interesting or fun to be around that is mere some steps she has to go through before she gets down to buissness! If she spends the day with me and at the end of the day she literally takes my clothes off and discovers i don't have condom and she dont have condom she considers the whole day a waste of time and is pissed....and Im all freaked out because i discover i have just been used!


In #2... why do you think her only goal is to have sex? Why do you think she is pissed that you don't have a condom?


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Never gave you a break? What? All you had to do was to say no.
> 
> Why does it freak you out when a woman wants sex more than you do? Are women not allowed to want sex in your world?


Oh, some girls can't get it when you say no. She would even try to make me watch porn to get me started and i don't watch it all that often, although some times I do!

The reason it freaks me out is that they only want sex. Like they want the penis but they don't care about the person who owns it. And most guys are going to say thats the best thing but they are just used suckers and they don't know it!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Jack29 said:


> What do you want me to say if a girl (that i just had a great time with and i find her very pretty) invites me over to her house "im sorry but im affraid you'd want to screw if i come over and i don't want that?!" Besides i can pretty much trust myself to just stay in bed and cuddle! There have been times i have played it dumb but some girls are really to fascinating to resist!


How about telling her that you want to take things slowly and really get to know her. Then ask her for another date so she knows you are not brushing her off?


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> In #2... why do you think her only goal is to have sex? Why do you think she is pissed that you don't have a condom?


Its my gut feeling the expression in the eyes when we were having sex. I was feeling like the whole date (or whatever) in her mind was building up to that! If not shed be happy with the nice time and not ask for sex like it was the crucial part of our meeting!


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Jack29 said:


> Oh, some girls can't get it when you say no. She would even try to make me watch porn to get me started and i don't watch it all that often, although some times I do!
> 
> The reason it freaks me out is that they only want sex. Like they want the penis but they don't care about the person who owns it. And most guys are going to say thats the best thing but they are just used suckers and they don't know it!


Does the porn make you totally forget where the door is?
Maybe you can practice at home...watch porn, find the door, repeat as needed.

Women have the same frustrations, being attracted to a guy, liking a guy, and then having to discard him because his horizonal to vertical relations ratio is way too high.

Life happens!


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Jack, Why did you create this thread. You had a motive or an agenda probably.

But be that as it may.

First off you use the term girl. I think of girls as still being in high school. Not sure how old you are but I had relationships with women prior to my marriage. I know I am splitting hairs ... Ooops.

Anyway, a woman who carries a condom is sexually active. If she always carries condoms then I would say she does not want to be without and does not want to remember to carry one. Then again she may be up for anything at anytime. Not judging. You can't know this but it would be a positive sign that she specifically had some condoms because she was open to having sex with you. YMMV.

So why are you dating? Many men date because they like women and are also looking for sex. So a woman who carries condoms is good choice as recreational sex is within your grasp. 

Now if you are looking for a life partner then I can understand your question ... to a point. You have every right to not want a very sexually active woman as your long term partner. That is your choice. It is also their choice to lead the lifestyle they want as well. You do not have to have sex with them if you do not want to. It is also your choice to play the field until you find the person to spend the rest of your life together. No ones business but yours.

But really there is no more to this.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Jack29 said:


> Oh, some girls can't get it when you say no. She would even try to make me watch porn to get me started and i don't watch it all that often, although some times I do!
> 
> The reason it freaks me out is that they only want sex. Like they want the penis but they don't care about the person who owns it. And most guys are going to say thats the best thing but they are just used suckers and they don't know it!


Um... if they are like that then why do you care what they think? Just tell them no and walk away. Don't date them again. It's like you feel like you have to have sex with them if it's offered. 

And please stop calling women 'girls'. A woman stops bing a 'girl' at age 18. Your problem with sex and women might be that you see them as 'girls' and therefore expect them to act like virginal teens.

HOw old are you?

Are you a boy? Would you like if we all called you a boy here?


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> How about telling her that you want to take things slowly and really get to know her. Then ask her for another date so she knows you are not brushing her off?


Im not going to ask her to take things slowly! Thats how she rolls, she won't tell me but she has been doing that thing with other guys too. beside after the invitation is made it doesnt matter if we take it slow or don't i realize that sex is what she is after and either shes gonna get it or dump me for someone who moves faster!


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Jack29 said:


> The title says it all.
> 
> I must say girls who keep condoms make me feel a bit uneasy i want to see if its just me!
> 
> I don't like carrying around condoms and don't and twice have i met girls with which things escalated pretty quick and both of them sort of freaked me out, specially one who had condoms of both normal and big size in her drawer!


What a lose/lose scenario. She's being responsible but it would still give me that oooooh feeling wondering just how often she has to replenish and if she buys the economy size box. I realize this is not fair but what's fair in life. No the girls who wouldn't mess around unless I had one were much more appealing.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

I agree with Entropy, again - anyone is free to have whatever requirements they have in a partner. 

But - you having an apparent lack of willpower to say no, feeling guilty about (whether because of religion, or some personal feeling) and then blaming the woman after the fact because she had condoms and thus "obviously only wanted sex" is kind of twisted.

If you don't want to put yourself into situations where you might end up having sex with someone too soon. *Stop going home with them.* A date can indeed end at their front door or in their driveway.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

Also:



> No the girls who wouldn't mess around unless I had one were much more appealing.


That would work if the OP was willing to be responsible himself, but - he doesn't want to be. He wants it to work both ways. He doesn't want to think about the condoms, because he either doesn't or doesn't want to imagine sex as a possible outcome of these dates. Because he's being tricked into having sex, or just can't say no. 

So trying to say - its more appealing when they wanted you to be responsible, doesn't work in a scenario when the OP has said up front - he has no intention of bringing the condoms.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Jack29 said:


> Its my gut feeling the expression in the eyes when we were having sex. I was feeling like the whole date (or whatever) in her mind was building up to that! If not shed be happy with the nice time and not ask for sex like it was the crucial part of our meeting!


So you are ascribing motives to her that she very well does not have.

Some women get the idea that all men care about on dates is the sex at the end of the evening and so some give the guy the sex.

Maybe she thinks that’s all you really want. And you think that’s all she wants. Maybe both of you have no clue what the other wants. But since you are not mature enough to tell her what you really want you end up confused and thinking all kinds of nonsense. This is your life. You are responsible for telling a date what you want.

Oh and by the way, yes there are guys who will not date a woman who will not put out for them. There are men on this forum who have said that their rule is that if a woman does not put out sex by the third date he will not ever take her out again. She’s a waste of his time. Women get mixed messages. How about you just give her the message that reflects where you are coming from.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

GIRLS ARE CHILDREN.

WOMEN are adults.

Please people...dang. It's not that difficult to change your way of thinking.

I don't date boys, I date men. Well...hahahahah not at the moment.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Jack29 said:


> Im not going to ask her to take things slowly! Thats how she rolls, she won't tell me but she has been doing that thing with other guys too. beside after the invitation is made it doesnt matter if we take it slow or don't i realize that sex is what she is after and either shes gonna get it or dump me for someone who moves faster!



Don't you think it's possible that she wanted it all... the date, time with charming you and the sex.. sort of like whipped cream on a sunday? Why would you think that sex is all she wanted? If all she wanted was sex, she did not have to waste her time on a date. Do you know how easy it would be for a woman to walk into a bar and offer nothing but sex? She'd have guys standing in line if she was halfway good looking.

But then you have sex with her. I assume that you never ask her out again.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Next guy I meet I don't like and don't want to date and he won't give up pestering me, I'll beg him to come over, lock the door behind him, throw his clothes out the window, force him to watch porn, brush his hair, and then say, oh, geez, I'm out of condoms, I'm going to the store to get some, back soon. (Then I'll go to the movies, flying his clothes on my antenna like a victory banner.)

Thanks, Jack!


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Jack29 said:


> Im not going to ask her to take things slowly! Thats how she rolls, she won't tell me but she has been doing that thing with other guys too. beside after the invitation is made it doesnt matter if we take it slow or don't i realize that sex is what she is after and either *shes gonna get it or dump me for someone who moves faster!*


And...you care.... why? Serious question. Why do you care if she's gonna dump you or not? You don't respect her anyway. So what difference does it make to you? Or is it you want to be the one doing the dumping? AHHHHH THAT'S it! YOU want to dump HER after she's put out for you! 

Yea... your type is the type I always avoided. Judgmental hypocrites, the lot of them.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

:rofl: omg.


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> So you are ascribing motives to her that she very well does not have.
> 
> Some women get the idea that all men care about on dates is the sex at the end of the evening and so some give the guy the sex.
> 
> ...


Oh i can tell when a girl is willing to put out when she is unsure and she wants to keep you and they weren't the type.

As to girl/woman we could just settle for a female than? Im talking ages 24-28


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Don't you think it's possible that she wanted it all... the date, time with charming you and the sex.. sort of like whipped cream on a sunday? Why would you think that sex is all she wanted? If all she wanted was sex, she did not have to waste her time on a date. Do you know how easy it would be for a woman to walk into a bar and offer nothing but sex? She'd have guys standing in line if she was halfway good looking.
> 
> But then you have sex with her. I assume that you never ask her out again.


Im torn myself, its not like i like the position Im in. Id ask them out again and think to myself she would be a great woman and person if she didn't carry around those damned condoms and f*cked guys like it was nothing! I judge no other women except for the ones i've been frankly i don't care about other people moralwise!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Jack29 said:


> Oh i can tell when a girl is willing to put out when she is unsure and she wants to keep you and they weren't the type.


Ok so you know women better than they know themselves. Got it!! :scratchhead:



Jack29 said:


> As to girl/woman we could just settle for a female than? Im talking ages 24-28


Do you have a issue with using the word 'woman'?


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Jack29 said:


> Oh i can tell when a girl is willing to put out when she is unsure and she wants to keep you and they weren't the type.
> 
> *As to girl/woman we could just settle for a female than? Im talking ages 24-28*


No, you don't "settle" on female. They are WOMEN. PERIOD. 

Again, you can say no. And these women... you really think you can "read" them that well? Somehow, I doubt that.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Jack29 said:


> Im torn myself, its not like i like the position Im in. Id ask them out again and think to myself she would be a great woman and person if she didn't carry around those damned condoms and f*cked guys like it was nothing! I judge no other women except for the ones i've been frankly i don't care about other people moralwise!


So you only judge those women you have been with as svlty? Really? But you f*cked women like it was nothing. So you must be the same as those women.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Ok so you know women better than they know themselves. Got it!! :scratchhead:
> 
> 
> *
> Do you have a issue with using the word 'woman'?*


I suspect he has an issue with women who have minds of their own... this has GOT to be torture on him... having WOMEN tell him he is, to put it nicely, SADLY mistaken.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Jack, all men are different.
A woman may move fast with a guy she feel connected with, and not move at all on a guy she's just not into, from the start.
The thing is, the more you feel connected to someone, and the more enthusiastic you feel about things possibly working out, the more apt you are to test the waters of sexual compatability. Especially if the guy shows all the signs of being similarly connected and also wanting to go there.

The way one guy is treated does not really mean that's what a woman does with all guys. I'm 48, and until very recently never had to reach for a condom. That guy had no problem with me, or the next three times we were together...in fact he had no problem until I questioned his commitment to me and our relationship. Then he had the guts to tell me that something was wrong with me, and my entire paradigm of wanting sex to mean something other than fun. Honestly. 

Have your cake, eat it too. Just beware of the frosting tube going into a place you never imagined it being shoved.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

He can't say woman because he doesn't see himself as a man. I went through that (opposite way though) until about age 25. Hard time calling men-- men. But i couldn't even say I was a woman.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Todays phrase is "sh!t test". Men complain about women giving us sh!t test yet we will hop in the sack with a woman on the first date if she's game only to judge her for it later. The thought is if she's that easy for me then she's been that easy for others. 

Single women should know this. It's something that I think is innate for the vast majority of men, especially young ones.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

I gave my daughter her first box of condoms when she was still a teenager.

So I guess I'm pro-condoms in the purse.


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Ok so you know women better than they know themselves. Got it!! :scratchhead:


I don't know women in general but i was/am pretty sure that the women im talking about they wanted sex and why they asked me out as well? Probably they did not like me to think of them they were slvts!

The funny thing is that people act like im crazy and i don't know what im talking about and yet they came back here and want to prove me wrong by insanity!

I am just venting its just that i run into women that i really like but i get uneasy when i sense they f*ck guys real easy and i feel like i could have been anybody it just happen that we hit it off together (on top of the fact that they wanted to have sex) so they want to keep me a while longer but i feel like its too late to try to make a relationship out of the f*ck buddy nature of relationship that was established by default. It almost happened again with a girl i met after new year and i was turning the matter of my rotten luck in my mind. Thanks to everybody for paying attention i should tune out, cant find solutions here i suppose!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Thundarr said:


> Todays phrase is "sh!t test". Men complain about women giving us sh!t test yet we will hop in the sack with a woman on the first date if she's game only to judge her for it later. The thought is if she's that easy for me then she's been that easy for others.
> 
> Single women should know this. It's something that I think is innate for the vast majority of men, especially young ones.


So on which date is it ok for a woman to have sex with a guy?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Jack29 said:


> I don't know women in general but i was/am pretty sure that the women im talking about they wanted sex and why they asked me out as well? Probably they did not like me to think of them they were slvts!


So these women asked you out and that's proof that they wanted sex? Really?



Jack29 said:


> The funny thing is that people act like im crazy and i don't know what im talking about and yet they came back here and want to prove me wrong by insanity!


This sentence makes no sense whatsoever.



Jack29 said:


> I am just venting its just that i run into women that i really like but i get uneasy when i sense they f*ck guys real easy and i feel like i could have been anybody it just happen that we hit it off together (on top of the fact that they wanted to have sex) so they want to keep me a while longer but i feel like its too late to try to make a relationship out of the f*ck buddy nature of relationship that was established by default. It almost happened again with a girl i met after new year and i was turning the matter of my rotten luck in my mind. Thanks to everybody for paying attention i should tune out, cant find solutions here i suppose!


How many dates do you think a woman should wait before having sex?


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## curious2 (Jan 13, 2013)

well, i dont carry condoms around in my purse and i am selective about who i sleep with but i will give you a scenario...was talking to then dating a guy for a few months...we are getting hot n heavy ...about to..... and I say do you have condoms, he says no and i looked kind of suprised and he said well how would it look if i did??? cant argue that either! given this, I still dont have condoms in purse or even at home in a drawer but maybe i should. even if i dont have them around all the time if i think i am with a guy where we might go there i shoild have them just in case.

Now, if you just meet a girl and you get there rather quickly as a guy I would question it.


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> So these women asked you out and that's proof that they wanted sex? Really?
> 
> 
> This sentence makes no sense whatsoever.
> ...



It does make sense because if you think someone is crazy or stupid you just dismiss him altogether rather than wasting your time and reading his posts


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> So these women asked you out and that's proof that they wanted sex? Really?
> 
> 
> This sentence makes no sense whatsoever.
> ...


Their asking me out was not proof of wanting sex, proof of it was that after we went out they wanted me to go and sleep in their room. We are talking not even a week had passed after we had known each other! It gave me the impression that it was planned all along. You can't just ask someone you barely know to just drop into your place so you ask him out first. And condoms were the proof of the fact that that is how they had planned it all along!

As to how many dates i don't know. I suppose as many as it takes for people to really know each other and believe and feel that they're on to something worth following together!


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## curious2 (Jan 13, 2013)

I dont think you are crazy jack. Some people take sex seriously others dont. Some are capable of casual sex (nothing wrong wrong with that) but some people cant. I think you are catching flack because you are a man and many men dont give a [email protected] and your just raisng the inequities of what is ok for a man but not amoung women and you are pushing those buttons.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Thundarr said:


> Todays phrase is "sh!t test". Men complain about women giving us sh!t test yet we will hop in the sack with a woman on the first date if she's game only to judge her for it later. The thought is if she's that easy for me then she's been that easy for others.
> 
> Single women should know this. It's something that I think is innate for the vast majority of men, especially young ones.


You are the closest one here to getting what's really going on. Jack is tempted by the easy women but judges them for it later. It's a total double standard but one that's been around for as long as I can remember and I'm 46.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

If I have sex with someone within the first week (happened a couple of times) then OMG I am soooo into them.

They should be flattered. These legs don't open for just anyone


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

curious2 said:


> I dont think you are crazy jack. Some people take sex seriously others dont. Some are capable of casual sex (nothing wrong wrong with that) but some people cant. I think you are catching flack because you are a man and many men dont give a [email protected] and your just raisng the inequities of what is ok for a man but not amoung women and you are pushing those buttons.


I just feel freaked and used when women just want to have sex with me. First off i might have been any guy (or most guys) and then i feel like i am their tool. There's guys who think that means you are a stud and you should pat yourself on the back for it but they just can't see past their stupidity and they are just some suckers that are being used and maybe made fun of behind their backs!


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Jack29 said:


> It does make sense because if you think someone is crazy or stupid you just dismiss him altogether rather than wasting your time and reading his posts


Or another option is you hope you can actually get through to him at some point... at the very least, you hope to point out to any lurkers that this is NOT normal behavior for a man (or even a woman), in case they are running into someone like this.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Jack makes waaaaayyyyyy too many unfounded assumptions.

Sad.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Jack,
So sorry your mom didn't teach you to take better care of yourself.
She ought to have had the condom discussion with you, and insisted you always, always, always have your own if you are going to say yes to sex. You see, as I told my son, there are some women (girls) who will deliberately poke holes in those condoms, yes, you will get roped not only into sex but into being a daddy. 
It's good you came here so you can learn these things.
Also, if you know up front you don't want a relationship with a girl who asks you out and then asks you to her room, just don't go there! Play hockey or lacrosse instead, or video games. By engaging in this stuff, you are just reframing your world to be even one you don't want to live in. Don't do it. And what's this about girls asking you out? Learn how to observe the girls and women in your life, and watch how they handle themselves with you and with others. Then find one you would like to get to know and go about the business of really getting to know her before YOU decided to ask her out. That way, you are in control of the situation. You can call the shots. You can start out more prepared and likely to end up with what it is you really want.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Jack29 said:


> Their asking me out was not proof of wanting sex, proof of it was that after we went out they wanted me to go and sleep in their room. We are talking not even a week had passed after we had known each other! It gave me the impression that it was planned all along. You can't just ask someone you barely know to just drop into your place so you ask him out first. And condoms were the proof of the fact that that is how they had planned it all along!


Men do this to women all the time. They invite women on dates and expect that the night will end with sex. Not only do they expect that it will but they get mean to the woman if she does not put out.

I'm sure that just about every women has had this experience.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> So on which date is it ok for a woman to have sex with a guy?


It's not something that can be given a number except for not on first date. The general rule of thumb is the concept of playing a little hard to get. Make us work for it a little. Make us think we're getting something that doesn't get shared very easily.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

As a young'in, I would wait because of respect, etc. Always seeking approval from men.

As a full grown woman, I stopped giving a shet. I respect and approve myself.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Jack I think you are the romantic type guy as well. You long for the emotional connection WITH sex. This makes you a prime target for aggressive women. It's your classic role reversal.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Thundarr said:


> It's not something that can be given a number except for not on first date. The general rule of thumb is the concept of playing a little hard to get. Make us work for it a little. Make us think we're getting something that doesn't get shared very easily.


Ever watch that show Millionaire Matchmaker? It's a hokey show but she gives them dating advice which I think is valid. She tells them do NOT put out until they're exclusive. She lectures all of them about the merits of playing a little hard to get.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Mavash. said:


> Ever watch that show Millionaire Matchmaker? It's a hokey show but she gives them dating advice which I think is valid. She tells them do NOT put out until they're exclusive. She lectures all of them about the merits of playing a little hard to get.


I've always been like this. It's not an act to play hard to get. I just know that a guy who just wants sex will not stay around long if he does not want it. So it's a way to get rid of that kind of guy and to find a guy who is really interested in me as a person.


Also, I've never bought or carried condoms. By the time we get to that we are in a relationship and such details have been discussed.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> I've always been like this. It's not an act to play hard to get. I just know that a guy who just wants sex will not stay around long if he does not want it. So it's a way to get rid of that kind of guy and to find a guy who is really interested in me as a person.
> 
> Also, I've never bought or carried condoms. By the time we get to that we are in a relationship and such details have been discussed.


Same here. It was no act it was how I felt and nope I didn't carry or buy condoms either.


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## curious2 (Jan 13, 2013)

Am I misunderstanding? So he should be bashed for not going for the kind of woman who has sex to keep the guy or maybe they dont want to keep him but just have a good time? He is wrong for not liking or wanting that? he is not talking about women he developed a connection with. He is talking about women who just hopped into bed with him. 

Granted , you might meet a guy who grabs you right off the bat. Does that mean you should just sleep with him because you are hightly attracted? Maybe so, If thats ok with you...great...but dont judge others for having a different perspective.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

curious2 said:


> Am I misunderstanding? So he should be bashed for not going for the kind of woman who has sex to keep the guy or maybe they dont want to keep him but just have a good time? He is wrong for not liking or wanting that? he is not talking about women he developed a connection with. He is talking about women who just hopped into bed with him.
> 
> Granted , you might meet a guy who grabs you right off the bat. Does that mean you should just sleep with him because you are hightly attracted? Maybe so, If thats ok with you...great...but dont judge others for having a different perspective.


I don't think Jack is being bashed for not going for that type of woman. He is getting bashed for being a hypocrite about the whole thing. He has no problem with getting between their legs, but bashes them afterward because they enticed him, etc... I mean, OBVIOUSLY he couldn't tell them "No" or "not now". That would be too easy.


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> I don't think Jack is being bashed for not going for that type of woman. He is getting bashed for being a hypocrite about the whole thing. He has no problem with getting between their legs, but bashes them afterward because they enticed him, etc... I mean, OBVIOUSLY he couldn't tell them "No" or "not now". That would be too easy.


I suppose even if i said "no" i still would have thought of them as slvts so i don't know how much that would have improved my standing here!


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

Mavash. said:


> Jack I think you are the romantic type guy as well. You long for the emotional connection WITH sex. This makes you a prime target for aggressive women. It's your classic role reversal.


Flattery aside that was a common denominator in the women i'm thinking of, i would think of them as ballcutters rather than "agressive" though. It made me think of a song i used to listen to when a teenage called "return to innocence" it began with the words "don't be afraid to be weak and don't be too proud to be strong". 

I believe initiating sex and making moves before I did was their way to be or feel in control. But thats another topic altogether!


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## curious2 (Jan 13, 2013)

There is such a thing as personal responsability, if you act like an a$$ dont be suprised when you are treated like one


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Jack29 said:


> I suppose even if i said "no" i still would have thought of them as slvts so i don't know how much that would have improved my standing here!


At least, if not partaking, you wouldn't be viewed as a hypocrite. In that case, you may have people disagreeing with you, but it would be because they disagree that the women are slvts, not because you are a hypocrite about it. In that light, it absolutely would improve your standing here...in my eyes anyway. I can handle different points of view. Hypocrisy, however, I can't stand.


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

curious2 said:


> There is such a thing as personal responsability, if you act like an a$$ dont be suprised when you are treated like one


Im thick skinned! You can even treat me like two a$$es for all i care!


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> At least, if not partaking, you wouldn't be viewed as a hypocrite. In that case, you may have people disagreeing with you, but it would be because they disagree that the women are slvts, not because you are a hypocrite about it. In that light, it absolutely would improve your standing here...in my eyes anyway. I can handle different points of view. Hypocrisy, however, I can't stand.


To my credit (not lying) i had to pull the plug on those women just because i was affraid to get in to deep with them. I could have stayed much longer for the ride if I so chose! Its not like "she slvtty" summed up my whole opinion of them, there really was a lot more to it!


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## curious2 (Jan 13, 2013)

Jack29 said:


> Im thick skinned! You can even treat me like two a$$es for all i care!


My comment wasnt directed at you....it was in your defense...


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

Jack29 said:


> Im torn myself, its not like i like the position Im in. Id ask them out again and think to myself she would be a great woman and person if she didn't carry around those damned condoms and f*cked guys like it was nothing! I judge no other women except for the ones i've been frankly i don't care about other people moralwise!


I can't decide if you're a troll in one, two, or three of the possible definitions of the word.

You said you can't say no. Seriously? What would you expect a "good" girl to say if you acted like you only went on the date to get in her jeans? Go practice saying it in front of a mirror so you can use those words next time you come face to face with your own hypocrisy.


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## curious2 (Jan 13, 2013)

KathyBatesel said:


> I can't decide if you're a troll in one, two, or three of the possible definitions of the word.
> 
> You said you can't say no. Seriously? What would you expect a "good" girl to say if you acted like you only went on the date to get in her jeans? Go practice saying it in front of a mirror so you can use those words next time you come face to face with your own hypocrisy.


you are getting angry at him for getting into a girls pants and then thinking poorly of them...i get that but i dont see anything anwhere where he is coercing or even trying...again unless i have missed something these women are the aggessors.

i am a woman..i love and respect women...some have casual sex and they are fine with it, its what they want...great for them they dont care what the men think of them. they are happy, others do it in the hopes of getting love...this is sad and not to be taken advantage of...i dont condone it.


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

KathyBatesel said:


> I can't decide if you're a troll in one, two, or three of the possible definitions of the word.
> 
> You said you can't say no. Seriously? What would you expect a "good" girl to say if you acted like you only went on the date to get in her jeans? Go practice saying it in front of a mirror so you can use those words next time you come face to face with your own hypocrisy.


troll 
/trōl/
Noun

A mythical, cave-dwelling being depicted in folklore as either a giant or a dwarf, typically having a very ugly appearance.

Lets hope im not that kind of troll.

I didn't say i can't say no. I said i can't say no if i really like the girl. You think im not confused myself? I get second thoughts at times and feel like calling them back, i have asked their forgiveness for making them feel like slyts. And there have been girls i've said no to. Id just play it stupid usually like i don't get it what she means when shes teasing me. Its not like im sure what i have done or even thought about the matter has always been right!


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## curious2 (Jan 13, 2013)

Jack29 said:


> troll
> /trōl/
> Noun
> 
> ...


given all i have said...you do need to grow up and decide what you want and stop being so judgmental ....never make a woman feel like a sl*t! if she sleeps with you right away it doesnt mean she is worthless or has no value she may be just more open than you or has other issues...who is without? if you really like her keep your eyes open and move forward.


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

curious2 said:


> you are getting angry at him for getting into a girls pants and then thinking poorly of them...i get that but i dont see anything anwhere where he is coercing or even trying...again unless i have missed something these women are the aggressors.


Actually, I'm not angry at all. What happens between him and anyone else has no effect on my life. I find it amusing and sad that people (myself included) can be so unaware of how they contribute to their own unhappiness. 

Maybe this will be clarified below: 



Jack29 said:


> troll
> /trōl/
> Noun
> 
> ...


Troll: 1. As above, in a figurative sense... an ugly attitude that repels others. 2. A person who posts on the Internet in ways that are designed to elicit strong responses from others without necessarily being true for the poster. 3. A person who is unattractive and repulsive (and therefore blaming the world for his woes.) I said I can't decide which you are, not that I am angry.

In any case, it sounds like you need to be up front with women and tell them you want to hold off on sex for a certain amount of time DURING your first date and BEFORE you go anywhere alone with them, since they're just like you. They will not want to hold off if they like you. Fortunately, it seems they don't think you're dog poo on a shoe if you give in to your attraction. 

Sexual compatibility is one of the five pillars of attraction, by the way. It's ok to get to know another person's sexuality as you're also getting the chance to evaluate their emotional, financial, and other compatibilities.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Jack29 said:


> Flattery aside that was a common denominator in the women i'm thinking of, i would think of them as ballcutters rather than "agressive" though. It made me think of a song i used to listen to when a teenage called "return to innocence" it began with the words "don't be afraid to be weak and don't be too proud to be strong".
> 
> I believe initiating sex and making moves before I did was their way to be or feel in control. But thats another topic altogether!


Ball busters, aggressive, controlling women they are all similar in characteristics. They are alpha females and when they want something or someone they go after it. All I was saying is you're a good target for some reason since you're a common denominator too. Looks? Money? A great catch? Something makes these women want to yes gain control and gain it quickly. 

Or maybe they just want to get laid like men do. It's hard to say without more information.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

Thank you ladies. I will admit that I would have a tendency to 'jump to conclusions' if I found a lady I was dating pulled a strip of condoms out of her purse. I would wonder if it's like carrying pepper spray or a spare subway token, something you might have to use regularly But you have opened my eyes.

The message I SHOULD take is: she's with me...on a date...and she's carrying condoms. JACKPOT! I have no idea if they are a regular part of her carryall arsenal but her intentions with me are pretty frigging clear.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

JCD said:


> Thank you ladies. I will admit that I would have a tendency to 'jump to conclusions' if I found a lady I was dating pulled a strip of condoms out of her purse. I would wonder if it's like carrying pepper spray or a spare subway token, something you might have to use regularly But you have opened my eyes.
> 
> The message I SHOULD take is: she's with me...on a date...and she's carrying condoms. JACKPOT! I have no idea if they are a regular part of her carryall arsenal but her intentions with me are pretty frigging clear.


THose condoms might have been in her purse for the last 10 years. So they might have nothing to do with you.


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> THose condoms might have been in her purse for the last 10 years. So they might have nothing to do with you.


That'd be way past their expiration date, so I hope not!


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

Imagine a woman who is sexual and wants to have sex, and who also has the forthought that she may even meet someone she likes enough to have sex with.

Shocking.


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> THose condoms might have been in her purse for the last 10 years. So they might have nothing to do with you.


for ten years? Yeah, sure, and the moon is made out of blue cheese!


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> THose condoms might have been in her purse for the last 10 years. So they might have nothing to do with you.


YOU are ruining the fantasy. Why are you messing with the fantasy? We know the reality.

I am assuming that a sensible and forsightful woman like that might have cleaned her purse out at least once a decade. Purse space is at a premium! So one hopes that she only carrys what she needs immediately and isn't imagining that her radiator bursts a hose while driving through the desert and some guy with muscles and an open shirt stops by to check her plumbing.

Because women have fantasies too I guess....sigh

And here I was looking for a reliable signal to know I was going to get busy. Thanks Ele....


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Jack29 said:


> for ten years? Yeah, sure, and the moon is made out of blue cheese!


It's just much easier to believe she's a slvt, eh?


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

Jack, I think you're reading too much into it. Maybe the woman who wants to sleep with you on the second date really has the hits for you and wants to have a relationship but you are denying yourself of that because of your preconceived ideas. How do you think that makes the woman feel, when they don't hear from you again once you've had sex with them,

I slept with my H on our second date. I had condoms with me. I'd only had 2 sexual partners before him. We have been married 20 years this year. If he thought like you did then our relationship would have been over before it started.

It sounds to me like you might have some self esteem issues. Most women don't just sleep with any mam. There has to be some sort of connection. I think you are looking at it the wrong way. You should feel flattered. Just try and go with the flow a bit more and don't over think it so much. If you like the woman and sleep with her early on then just try and stick with it and see where it goes, otherwise DON'T sleep with her!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mildlyperplexed (Feb 3, 2013)

I used to have condoms hidden in the back of my purse the same way I always have a fold up umbrella, a tampon and spare travel card with a £10 note tucked in the back. I wont need those things very often but when I do it saves a lot of hassle. Who knows how things would have turned out if I *didn't* have a strip of condoms the first time I met my husband? We still joke its a weekend fling that never ended.

On a more general note if you don't like women who have casual sex then don't have casual sex. I doubt they tied you up and forced you to do it.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Think back to highschool. The man wh0res didn't catch much flack. A promiscuous girl was labelled slvt *not only by guys but other girls*.

So we grow up and we care about the double standard hopefully. Well the innate feelings are still there. If it's easy for me then it's been easy for others. Maybe lots of others. If it's not meant to be anything serious then who cares but if the girl is interested in long term with this guy then she should know most men care about a wild past. Maybe she's so specacular that it doesn't matter but it's still noticed and still a worry for many men.


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## love=pain (Nov 26, 2012)

Like many things that are at first scorned or looked down upon by society, if you step back and take a neutral look it is just good common sense.
For example my oldest daughter was put on the pill when she started high school, why? well why do you think not because I gave her permission to have sex but because if she had a boyfriend and things got hot and they didn't use a condom I didn't want to be a grand pa. I always stressed condoms as the best and only option but they get forgotten so you never know. My youngest will be starting school soon and we will follow the same course.
Now I relayed that information for this when I was in high school not too many girls were on the pill and the few that anyone found out were on it sometimes got the sl** label. Heck I was totally against it with my oldest at first for that very reason but you know it is being proactive.
I carry a bottle opener and a pocket knife with me at all times but I am not a drunk nor do I go around stabbing people but when the need arises I am prepared.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

A lot of things happened in high school, that doesn't magically make it an appropriate reflection of adult behavior. When's the last time you beat up the guy in the cubicle next to you for his lunch money because he has glasses/is smaller than you? Drawn a penis on your bosses office door lately because you don't like him?

If men are thinking that a woman could be a potential LTR partner, and they know they don't like to take things too fast. They can - I don't know, not take things so far and so fast. That remains an option. People can indeed practice some modicum of self-control. 

The issue is wanting it both ways. The wh0re and the virgin. You want women to enjoy sex - otherwise, see all of the threads where husbands complain there wife just isn't that into it, is "LD" it's "duty sex" or however it gets labeled. As long as they didn't enjoy sex before you. Which - is yes, a bit hypocritical, but people are free to have that qualification. Just a consideration that might not go how you want it to go in the end.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

love=pain said:


> Like many things that are at first scorned or looked down upon by society, if you step back and take a neutral look it is just good common sense.
> For example my oldest daughter was put on the pill when she started high school, why? well why do you think not because I gave her permission to have sex but because if she had a boyfriend and things got hot and they didn't use a condom I didn't want to be a grand pa. I always stressed condoms as the best and only option but they get forgotten so you never know. My youngest will be starting school soon and we will follow the same course.
> Now I relayed that information for this when I was in high school not too many girls were on the pill and the few that anyone found out were on it sometimes got the sl** label. Heck I was totally against it with my oldest at first for that very reason but you know it is being proactive.
> I carry a bottle opener and a pocket knife with me at all times but I am not a drunk nor do I go around stabbing people but when the need arises I am prepared.


Sorry - you put your daughter on the pill when she started high school??  Wow. What about STD's?? Wouldn't you rather she used a condom? 

I bought a box of condoms and told my kids where they were and that they were for them to use, but I don't think I would go so far as to put my - what, 14 year old?? on the pill.


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## love=pain (Nov 26, 2012)

Hope1964 said:


> Sorry - you put your daughter on the pill when she started high school??  Wow. What about STD's?? Wouldn't you rather she used a condom?
> 
> I bought a box of condoms and told my kids where they were and that they were for them to use, but I don't think I would go so far as to put my - what, 14 year old?? on the pill.
> 
> *Of course* I preached condom always have but I am not stupid enough to think teenagers will use a condom every time hell adults (who should be more responsible) don't either so why would I trust a teenager. I buy condoms for my children as well but to me it is an extra layer of protection when my daughters are on the pill, as for my son well I tell him all the time to use condoms but unless I put it on for him how do I know. As far as the 14 year old thing do you see tv or read the paper when middle school kids are having sex and blow job parties? We limit our kids outside activities when there is no supervision but when HS starts that is a lot harder so I would rather play it safe and put my daughters on the pill, like I told my oldest *it is not* a license to have sex and I would prefer that you wait until you are married or in a committed relationship but a parent cannot always stop a bad decision.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

JCD said:


> YOU are ruining the fantasy. Why are you messing with the fantasy? We know the reality.
> 
> I am assuming that a sensible and forsightful woman like that might have cleaned her purse out at least once a decade. Purse space is at a premium! So one hopes that she only carrys what she needs immediately and isn't imagining that her radiator bursts a hose while driving through the desert and some guy with muscles and an open shirt stops by to check her plumbing.
> 
> ...


:rofl: Just doing my best to burst bubbles and be a pain


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Jack29 said:


> for ten years? Yeah, sure, and the moon is made out of blue cheese!


What you don't believe it? You mean when my husband told me that those condoms in his car where many years old from before we married... he was not telling me the truth? OH NO... I would not have ever guessed. :scratchhead:

(Well actually I knew he was lying. That's why I cut them up and put them back in his hidding place.  He was of course cheating.)


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

love=pain said:


> As far as the 14 year old thing do you see tv or read the paper when middle school kids are having sex and blow job parties? We limit our kids outside activities when there is no supervision but when HS starts that is a lot harder so I would rather play it safe and put my daughters on the pill


A blow job party?! Oh, yet another word of which I was so blissfully unaware for 29 years! I stopped praying since a long time ago but if i ever start again id pray everyday that my sex encyclopedia would not increase anymore!


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

love=pain said:


> Hope1964 said:
> 
> 
> > Sorry - you put your daughter on the pill when she started high school??  Wow. What about STD's?? Wouldn't you rather she used a condom?
> ...


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## love=pain (Nov 26, 2012)

Hope1964 said:


> love=pain said:
> 
> 
> > By giving her the pill, you are basically telling her it's ok to go have sex, no matter how many times you say it isn't. She isn't even legal when she's 14. Also, you're making it more likely she'll have unprotected (no condom) sex and get an STD.
> ...


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Hope1964 said:


> By giving her the pill, you are basically telling her it's ok to go have sex, no matter how many times you say it isn't. She isn't even legal when she's 14. Also, you're making it more likely she'll have unprotected (no condom) sex and get an STD.
> 
> I would never in a million years put my 14yo the pill, unless she came to me and asked me to. And then we'd be having many very serious talks about sex and why she was sexually active at that age.
> 
> Thankfully my daughter wasn't subjected to high school either


I'm with you, Hope. I remember what I was like at 14. No reason for me to be on the pill. And at 14, the ONLY reason I would even think of putting my daughter on it is if she has problems with her periods... i.e. endometriosis. I had a college roommate who had that and she told me that the ONLY thing that even remotely kept it at bay was birth control pills. I never got on the pill until I was 18 or 19, when I went to college. It was a decision I made WITH my mother. And I went to pubic schools all my life. There are many kids in high school, even now, who are not so easily swayed to have sex. But, I guess it's easier for some to believe otherwise.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

I think a better way to keep you daughter from getting pregnant at 13-16 or your son from getting a girl pregnant at that age is to talk about sex with them and let them know older people (mom and dad) have sex Nothing will make them think ewwww more than picturing their parents. JMO


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

When I was 14, I was home. haha. Home and not out with friends. 

I went to public school. Never even kissed a boy until almost 17.

Sex was early 20s.

It's not the school...it's the kid.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

that_girl said:


> When I was 14, I was home. haha. Home and not out with friends.
> 
> I went to public school. Never even kissed a boy until almost 17.
> 
> ...


Exactly! I got my first kiss at 15. And I was out with my cousin and her boyfriend as well as a bunch of other kids. But yes, it's not the school. It's the kid. I had friends in high school who got pregnant. It never rubbed off on me. Imagine that... parents instill boundaries int heir kids, and the kids pay attention. Huh. Guess we're anomalies, eh TG? Well, I wasn't early 20s the first time I had sex, but I definitely wasn't early teen either.


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

Hope1964 said:


> love=pain said:
> 
> 
> > By giving her the pill, you are basically telling her it's ok to go have sex, no matter how many times you say it isn't. She isn't even legal when she's 14. Also, you're making it more likely she'll have unprotected (no condom) sex and get an STD.
> ...


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## love=pain (Nov 26, 2012)

KathyBatesel said:


> Hope1964 said:
> 
> 
> > I have raised five teen girls, and all of them had an opportunity to get on the pill. I didn't force them, and two chose not to. I told them that they were responsible for making smart decisions, and that IF they found themselves in the throes of passion, it could be difficult to say no, but I also emphasized that they were breaking my rules by having sex and they could get in trouble for that. Having sex AND getting pregnant or an STD would be much BIGGER trouble.
> ...


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

love=pain said:


> Kathy I am glad to see someone else tries to prepare their kids for real life, for all those that say that is not how things were when you were in school I say things are very different today. I talk to my kids constantly about sex bullies the wrong friends you name it we talk about it but talking isn't enough and kids will find themselves in pressure situations and you hope they make the right decisions after all thats what you have been getting them ready for but what if they fail? I was sexually active at 14 and I was in church a private school and came from a Christian family but it happened and the first few times we did not use condoms stupid and lucky but no one talked about sex except to say don't do it. I won't repeat those mistakes with my kids and have them go through the turmoil of a unwanted pregnancy or the scare of one like I did.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm well aware of how things are now, compared to then. My nephew is a freshman in high school, age 15. My niece will be 12 this month. My oldest son will be 12 next month. My kids have all told me about the things the kids do around here, in our apartment community. Even the kids under age 10. So, yes, I know it goes on, even at younger ages. All of our kids are in public schools. My sisters and I are in agreement on this. It doesn't make us irresponsible because we won't put our girls on the pill "just in case". I'm also not providing them with condoms at that early age. Shocking... my kids aren't going anywhere without responsible adult supervision until they are 16. That's both the girl AND the boys. You may disagree with my choices, and that's your prerogative. However they are my kids, so it is my choice whether or not I give them license to have sex when they are children.

ETA: Believe it or not, I talk to my kids on a regular basis. I talk about bullying. And I do talk about sex, on their maturity level. It really is NOT that hard to talk to them and to stress waiting. It isn't difficult to talk about the tougher subjects.


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

Since the parenting theme came up, I remember that my parents way pretty severe with me about friends who smoked and did pot (and other drugs), they didn't talk to me about sex directly but is things that go together. I was denied going to quite a few parties when a teenager. and i was a bit resentful of my parents (not too much though). In due time when in university i tried everything that was denied to me (hard drugs as well) and came to the conclusion that my parents were right all along and it was better that i tried them later in life!

My point here is that parents should put their foot down and take a hard stand and if their kids are resentful so be it, its a hard choice to make but its better than chose the easy way that most anything goes.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Jack29 said:


> Since the parenting theme came up, I remember that my parents way pretty severe with me about friends who smoked and did pot (and other drugs), they didn't talk to me about sex directly but is things that go together. I was denied going to quite a few parties when a teenager. and i was a bit resentful of my parents (not too much though). In due time when in university i tried everything that was denied to me (hard drugs as well) and came to the conclusion that my parents were right all along and it was better that i tried them later in life!
> 
> My point here is that parents should put their foot down and take a hard stand and if their kids are resentful so be it, its a hard choice to make but its better than chose the easy way that most anything goes.


Interesting. my parents said "don't do this"...and I didn't. Now, I didn't wait until I was an adult to have sex, but I also didn't do it when I was preteen/early teen. And I never did ANY kind of drugs, nor alcohol. Never had a drink, not even a sip, of alcohol until I was 35. 

My parents weren't severe about their consequences for certain actions. But I knew how disappointed they'd be if I did things they didn't want me to do. As it was, I had sex two times before I met my husband. The first time was with a boyfriend I had been with for about 3 months. The second time was a boyfriend of about a month and a half. So, no, it isn't impossible to say "no". Even now, kids DO say "no", even if their friends would ridicule them.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Jack29... see my newest thread >>







.....I was thinking of all the endless misunderstandings & differences so many share on the pre-marital act...how this often plays out in dating/ our past... 

Have you figured out just where you stand in this- as yet? I have not read the last so many pages of this thread... 

Once you understand what you want out of







, it's meaning for you...stand strong in it... and look for a woman who shares similar views/ values as yourself....I am assuming you have more of a *Romantic view *personally but slip into the *"Plain sex" view*.... maybe some of these women- are wielding a subtle *POWER* view over you... See below... does it fit, as I get the idea from some of your posts you see them this way....(even though you have taken advantage of it- likely with a happy  on your face)...yet feeling helpless....caught in their sexual web, pulling that condom out of their purse & all. 



> *5*. *Power View* ~ Sexuality is a potent instrument for controlling others/ sex wields power". ... Sexual desire is the desire to possess another, while wanting to avoid being objectified by the other. One must be savvy to the potential for sexual exploitation, manipulation and violence (in it's rawest forms).
> 
> Sexuality is seen as "energy", as a force, Sexual interaction lays us bare & can strip us of control as we surrender to desire. Knowing oneself as a being who commands another’s sexual attention is invigorating / experiencing oneself as sexually attractive is enlivening. Yet this power is fragile & leaves you at the mercy of another's way of seeing - when I become a “sex object,” someone else decides whether I am valued, set aside, desired or dismissed.
> 
> ...


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> Interesting. my parents said "don't do this"...and I didn't. Now, I didn't wait until I was an adult to have sex, but I also didn't do it when I was preteen/early teen. And I never did ANY kind of drugs, nor alcohol. Never had a drink, not even a sip, of alcohol until I was 35.
> 
> My parents weren't severe about their consequences for certain actions. But I knew how disappointed they'd be if I did things they didn't want me to do. As it was, I had sex two times before I met my husband. The first time was with a boyfriend I had been with for about 3 months. The second time was a boyfriend of about a month and a half. So, no, it isn't impossible to say "no". Even now, kids DO say "no", even if their friends would ridicule them.


Well being affraid to disappoint them would not have worked with me so they resorted to more aggressive tactics 

I was very influenced by pals of mine in high school who would show me pictures of girls they had f*cked, back than you had to print the pictures not everyone was carrying laptops around and they were lying about it they had not really f*cked them all but i was buying their lies at the time. I lost my virginity in the very first month away from home when in university. Belive it or not i met a girl at a party and two days after that she shows up in my room (guess what, she came prepared with condoms, i didn't even know how to put them on)!!! We f*cked a couple of times and I never heard back from her, I still say to myself that she was into me but some major problem made her just vanish into thin air but at times even I have a hard time believing it! I wasn't traumatized at all by it was more like "what was that all about?!" 

Now if i tell the story to people they'd say women like that just want to have fun because that is how it sounds to non-involved persons but from where im standing shes not as innocent as all that!

After that i took a long break from sex for quite a few years, joining the running team and swimming team in uni and it was way more productive than go party and hook up


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## love=pain (Nov 26, 2012)

I did not want to call anyone a bad parent if that is how it came across, parenting is like being an artist we all have a different vision of how the picture should look. MY point is times are very different from 10 20 30 years ago and this is the course we have chosen . Not everyone will live up to what their parents have taught them every time they find themselves in a questionable situation.

The one comment about it not being the school but the kid is right kids make the ultimate decision that doesn't mean they are bad kids just the wrong choice was made. Kudos to all those who are of such high moral fiber to have never made that wrong choice or any choice for that matter.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

No need to get snarky with you last sentence there.

You do what you do. Don't feel bad about it either. 

As a teacher, I can say that some kids WOULD benefit greatly from birth control at 14. Omg. Yes.

My 13 year old daughter is far from needing it. When she wants it, she knows she can talk to me. She talks to me about most everything...and I'm not stupid enough to think sex isn't happening with teens. I AM grateful that I can say that I waited until I was in my early 20s EVEN THOUGH I was a party girl/punk/bad girl in HS. A bad girl without sex  Yep. I was too picky.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

The way we educate our children is ..... we do not shield them from ANYTHING.... I want them to have ALL views...on every given subject....We talk openly, we are very "approachable parents"... I feel this is of vital importance...

SEX is not taboo in our house..... we have graced endless issues....I allow my kids to DEBATE me, I even encourage it... this strengthens their minds and helps them KNOW *why *they feel the way they do ...which makes it easier to walk in....when these things are settled in their heart... it's a part of self awareness. . 

And in listening to them, they LISTEN to us... they've heard our story, we wouldn't leave out regrets either... they know deeply we just want the very *best* for them & their futures... 

I want them to weight carefully every decision- to assess the consequences to every action they set their hands to.... also their genitals. I will not belittle or shame them... Also how much freedom I give them at an earlier age will BE because they have shown responsiblity & majority. So far so good.


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

love=pain said:


> I did not want to call anyone a bad parent if that is how it came across, parenting is like being an artist we all have a different vision of how the picture should look. MY point is times are very different from 10 20 30 years ago and this is the course we have chosen . Not everyone will live up to what their parents have taught them every time they find themselves in a questionable situation.
> 
> The one comment about it not being the school but the kid is right kids make the ultimate decision that doesn't mean they are bad kids just the wrong choice was made. Kudos to all those who are of such high moral fiber to have never made that wrong choice or any choice for that matter.


Ok so what about this story:

I was the year before last year i met two guys at the gym and they invited me to smoke pot with them. I accepted and i got into their car and we were driving around (i wasn't the one doing the driving) and smoking. I was making small talk to them and im like
-what were you guys doing before this
-oh just chilling out in the woods, shooting
-than you went home to leave the gun and came here?
-no gun is in the trunk!

and im thinking to myself, the guys are so stupid. Being caught by the police when high and driving i can deal with but with a gun inside I freaked out and never ever went out with them again. Even when i'd meet them at the gym i'd take care not to go out together!

What my conclusion is: This could very well have happened 10 or 12 years earlier if my dad wasnt paranoid about me smoking and randomly smelling my breath when i got back home. And back than id be very impressed by the guys and try to hang out with them as often as I could!


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Jack29 said:


> Ok so what about this story:
> 
> I was the year before last year i met two guys at the gym and they invited me to smoke pot with them. I accepted and i got into their car and we were driving around (i wasn't the one doing the driving) and smoking. I was making small talk to them and im like
> -what were you guys doing before this
> ...


So you're okay getting busted with illegal pot but not guns?


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Jack29 said:


> The title says it all.
> 
> I must say girls who keep condoms make me feel a bit uneasy i want to see if its just me!
> 
> I don't like carrying around condoms and don't and twice have i met girls with which things escalated pretty quick and both of them sort of freaked me out, specially one who had condoms of both normal and big size in her drawer!


The term is "pump and dump." Have a good time. On the other hand, girls like this make great wives if you want to get into swinging or you have lots of extra cash you want to get rid of.


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> The term is "pump and dump." Have a good time. On the other hand, girls like this make great wives if you want to get into swinging or you have lots of extra cash you want to get rid of.


You just voiced my innermost fears when you mentioned swinging! Im not cool with that and that is why when i see condoms (and/or coupled with stories of ONS etc) i freak out!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

hahahahah calm down, Sparky.

Good girls carry condoms.

"Bad" girls carry condoms.

Women carry condoms because they know things can happen and they don't want babies or STDs.

I had condoms in my purse for a good 5 months.  shocking. 

I'm not a slvt or a swinger or anything of the sort. Furthermore, I wouldn't be dating a guy who thought being sexually responsible was something to freak out about. Yes, I talk about sex on the first date. NOT with the person, but in general. Sex is important to me. I won't live without it.


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

Mavash. said:


> So you're okay getting busted with illegal pot but not guns?


Well yeah because where i live you walk away with getting busted on pot but the gun might get you jail time!


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

that_girl said:


> Women carry condoms because they know things can happen and they don't want babies or STDs.


And you forgot to add two other reasons 1)they cant trust themselves to keep their legs shut until the morning when the stores are open 2)When having casual sex you arent going to see the guy again so why risk jumping someone you just met and than having to be dissapointed if he hasnt got condoms on him!


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

I'm getting laid tonight


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

CH said:


> I'm getting laid tonight


OH? Maybe posting it on a forum isn't enough, why don't you print a huge banner and hang it outside of your window so the whole neighborhood can pat you on the back? Or get in touch with CNN so that we can hear it on the NEWS after the Syrian War Crisis of course!


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Jack29 said:


> Well yeah because where i live you walk away with getting busted on pot but the gun might get you jail time!


Not here. Where I'm at you go to jail either way.

My husband is a cop.


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

Mavash. said:


> Not here. Where I'm at you go to jail either way.
> 
> My husband is a cop.


Where I live pot is a laughing matter to entertain the officer on the shift, the guns are taken way more seriously!


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

That's just it... no two kids are alike. Their personalities are different. What motivates them is different. They will face different circumstances and even though there will be similarities to others' circumstances, they'll believe that their own experiences are completely unique. 

While I do think we have some influence on our children, their own natures have a very strong influence, too. In the end, it will all come out in the wash. They'll become the adults they choose to be with the tools and experience they gained under our influence.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Jack29 said:


> Well yeah because where i live you walk away with getting busted on pot but the gun might get you jail time!


Just to let you know, the Iron Curtain went down a while back and you can move out of East Germany now.


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> Just to let you know, the Iron Curtain went down a while back and you can move out of East Germany now.


Wow! Are you serious? When did that happen?! How did I miss that?

If that was you making a guess as to where im from, you came close enough, Eastern Europe yes but youd have to go further down South than Germany! Maybe you should try to move out from where you are and you might like it here!


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Jack29 said:


> Wow! Are you serious? When did that happen?! How did I miss that?
> 
> If that was you making a guess as to where im from, you came close enough, Eastern Europe yes but youd have to go further down South than Germany! Maybe you should try to move out from where you are and you might like it here!


I used to have a have a client from the Slovak Republic. He said the women there were primo. What's your opinion?


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> I used to have a have a client from the Slovak Republic. He said the women there were primo. What's your opinion?


 Sure! As long as is not Slovenia you're thinking of!

On a last note, a man in your profession (from reading some of your advice posts i gather you should be a divorce attorney or smth similar) shouldn't take women from whatever nation for granted and let his guard down but always assume that women are....well... Machiavellian in their nature (I've been saying this to my friends for ages)!


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Jack29 said:


> Sure! As long as is not Slovenia you're thinking of!
> 
> On a last note, a man in your profession (from reading some of your advice posts i gather you should be a divorce attorney or smth similar) shouldn't take women from whatever nation for granted and let his guard down but always assume that women are....well... Machiavellian in their nature (I've been saying this to my friends for ages)!


Not Slovenia. You are correct about women. No matter the country, the language, or the time period, throughout history they are the same. Hypergamy is the basic instinct.

I wasn't thinking about Slovenia, I was crossing Slovakia with the Czech Republic. Hard to reset after all those years. We were talking Czech women.

I'm in the physique training business, so you can see how that ties in to our discussions here.


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