# Live In Fiance Moved Out, but Wants to Re-build Relationship



## Marilynfromtexas

Hi Everyone,

First of all, I want to say how glad I am that I found this website. I truely felt alone in my situation.

A little background about us: I'm 40, married once before for 12 years and have two teens - one boy 19 and a daughter 16 from that marriage. My fiance is 35, never been married/engaged and no children.

My fiance and I have been together 4 years and engaged for 3 years. He moved in to my house with my two teens after 1.5 years together. At first, I thought I had finally met my soulmate and would spend the rest of my life with him. There were a few bumps in the beginning with the kids, but everyone settled quickly. I even gave serious thought to writing a book or starting a website on how "blended families" can be happy, healthy and full of love using our family as an example. 

Several events took place after he moved in which were very stressful on him, myself and the children. These stressful events (fiance quit his job and was unemployed for almost a year, his alcoholic and mentally unstable brother got cancer, my childrens grandmother on their fathers side died, I hurt my back...etc) took a toll on everyone in the house. 

My daughter is very outspoken and is constantly testing her limits. She and my fiance have had problems communicating, but they apologized and moved forward. My fiance did occasionally tell me he thought he "came in last" and I always put the kids before him. I tried to express to him how much he meant to us all and that asking me who I loved more (him or the kids) wasn't a fair question.

We often fought about lack of intimacy and communication, but I thought it was the sum of all the stressful events in our lives which caused this loss and believed it would work itself out. In hindsight, I was in denial.

In late February of this year, my son and I had a huge fight. I had to call my father over to take my son to his house for the night so we could cool off. My daughter got involved in the drama and then my fiance. My daughter turned her anger towards my fiance and told him basically to leave and that nobody wanted him here anyway. Then he yelled at her about not having respect towards him and then my father told him to be quiet and act like an adult.

At this point, he said he was leaving. He had threatened to leave before, but I've always begged him to stay. He moved out on March 1st. He says he wants to re-build our relationship, but still holds resentment towards my children and especially my daughter. She did apologize via email about a week after he moved out, but he basically told me it wasn't good enough. 

I've seen him 3 times since he's left and talked to him a handful of times on the phone. He's ready to "move on" and "re-kindle our romance," but I can't get past the hurt and anger I feel towards him. One part of me wants to try to make it work and another tells me to run and don't look back. I can't get past the feeling of abandonment - when things got too tough for him, he left. He's said his reason for leaving was not feeling like it was his home and we supposedly argued more than we were "romantic."

Am I crazy for feeling so darned angry and hurt?


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