# Some Good Days, Some Great, and some still Rough



## Banff (Feb 8, 2010)

Just wanted to offer up some hope. A few who were around a few months ago may remember my story. Married 12 years, together 17, (4 school age kids) and found out my wife has had a couple affairs over the last year. D-Day was Oct, 2009. 

We have been through a lot of therapy. One together. Two separate ones for me. I spent some time with a Pastor learning about forgiveness, which has helped a lot. Also started taking some happy meds, which has also helped a lot. 

We are still together. We are looking forward. It has been by far the most difficult thing I have ever done, and it is still a work in progress. But I can tell folks just starting down this road that it will get easier. The horrible days will become just bad days. And then you will actually have some good days. You will even have great days again. Please hold on for a while. All hope is not lost.

A couple of days ago I had the first great day in several months. And all I could think about is how close I was to throwing in the towel. I never would have had these experiences, and these great days. 

So to those who let me vent on here....thanks. For those who shared their own stories.....thanks. And to affaircare...thanks. Who knows what might have happened if not for all the help I have gotten over the last several months.

Also would not have gotten through with out my Faith.

Thanks to all, and be strong for those in the beginnings.

_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## jessi (Feb 11, 2009)

Thanks for the update, great to hear you are doing better and things are looking more positive in the marriage......
I'm going through the process myself and I often wonder where we would be if I had just kicked him out when I found out about my husband's affair....But I didn't and we are working things out....I dont' know why I didn't but I cry now when I think how close we were to losing our marriage.
Looking for the day when the triggers aren't so strong and we can just laugh and totally relax again.....
Keep up the good work and just enjoy each other, I'm sure your marriage is a loving one now and that is all any of us want....


----------



## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

So glad to hear that things are moving forward for you!! Always nice to see a good update in here. Keep moving forward and I will keep sending positive vibes towards your family!!


----------



## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Banff said:


> A couple of days ago I had the first great day in several months. And all I could think about is how close I was to throwing in the towel. I never would have had these experiences, and these great days.


Great to hear Banff :smthumbup:

The recovery of my marriage proved to to be the most emotionally challenging thing I had ever tried to do. But it was worth all the pain, anxiety and tears for us both. As you move forward the days will continue to be a bit brighter every week. As that happens let the hurtful memories fade but not the lessons learned. Good luck and Bless.


----------



## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

BANFF!! :smthumbup: :smthumbup:

It is so good to see you again, and to hear that you two are together and working it out. I agree it is hard work and it's not like you can slack after things are "going better" but it is SOOOOOO worth it!. 

I can not tell you what it means to hear back from someone with a positive update. For those of us in the trenches, it is hope that it CAN work and it CAN be better...that marriages CAN survive an affair and love can be rebuilt. As you know, when you're in the thick of it, it's hard to envision. 

I know things are not perfect now and it's all changed, but I'm just so glad you stopped by to give us some hope that even the change can be a good one. Let me or Tanelornpete know how you're doing, okay?


----------

