# Girth



## Couple111

Hi ladies just a small question. 
How much larger would you say a penis girth has to be before you notice the difference. I.e- would u feel the difference in a 6” girth to a 6.5” girth? Or so on.


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## Faithful Wife

Yay, a penis thread!


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## personofinterest

The thickness of his penis would be eclipsed by the thickness of his sad, ego-driven head.....

In other words.....this is just sad


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## Mr. Nail

:::joke:::
So you like girth?
I can touch all the edge of a tuna can at once . . . 
Just not the bottom.
:::joke:::


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## SunCMars

This is not Friday.

Peen threads end the week.
Come from the weak.

In reality come from the youngest.

Not at heart, youngest.
Not at hard, youngest.

This seems the only way the young can touch women without getting slapped silly.

Pointless, though.

A silly thought, thoughts, given on a Tuesday.

A little early.

They say the early bird gets the worm.

Here, on here the little worm gets the ear.

The ear of lovely TAM women.

Aye!

Eye, they too gets opened on peen threads.
Lovely eyes, having applied mascara, having on masks, our anonymous ladies.

And this gives a heads-up, lets talk peens on young stand-up [ever large] guys.


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## Faithful Wife

SunCMars said:


> This is not Friday.
> 
> Peen threads end the week.
> Come from the weak.
> 
> In reality come from the youngest.
> 
> Not at heart, youngest.
> Not at hard, youngest.
> 
> This seems the only way the young can touch women without getting slapped silly.
> 
> Pointless, though.
> 
> A silly thought, thoughts, given on a Tuesday.
> 
> A little early.
> 
> They say the early bird gets the worm.
> 
> Here, on here the little worm gets the ear.
> 
> The ear of lovely TAM women.
> 
> Aye!
> 
> Eye, they too gets opened on peen threads.
> Lovely eyes, having applied mascara, having on masks, our anonymous ladies.
> 
> And this gives a heads-up, lets talk peens on young stand-up [ever large] guys.


I rarely know what you are talking about, this post being no exception. But as long as you’re talking about peens I’m reading. Whee!!


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## peacem

6" girth!! The half inch is not going to make much difference ouch!


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## I shouldnthave

Well, the size of the vagina would make a difference in this analysis.

Frequency of kegel exercises? Familiarity with ones own sexuality and physical responses?

I can tell you this much. I can feel the difference between the times my husband is hard, verses raging hard super turned on / teased up. 

And my own physiology plays a role. Where am I on my monthly cycle? How aroused am I? Have I orgasmed yet, or maybe several times? That will all make a difference in how he feels to me. 

Same penis, same vagina but yet the way the two interact can be quite different at times. 

Then of course, as they say the brain is the biggest sex organ. Insecurity about ones antomy is usually a turn off.


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## Openminded

Guess this is tied to your other threads?


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## Faithful Wife

The answer for me is yes, but only when going very slowly in the beginning. By the time our bodies are slamming against each other, no. 

I do like to prolong that slow entry and early gentle stroking for as long as possible before I want it harder. Because it’s a very wonderful feeling.


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## 269370

Couple111 said:


> Hi ladies just a small question.


Doesn’t seem very small to me.



Couple111 said:


> How much larger would you say a penis girth has to be before you notice the difference. I.e- would u feel the difference in a 6” girth to a 6.5” girth? Or so on.



Girth of a baby’s head? Your wife expecting?



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## Andy1001

Couple111 said:


> Hi ladies just a small question.
> How much larger would you say a penis girth has to be before you notice the difference. I.e- would u feel the difference in a 6” girth to a 6.5” girth? Or so on.


If you use an opisometer to measure the girth of your penis then you have to take some complicated calculations using even more complicated mathematical formulas up to and including Einstein’s SPECIAL theory of relativity,Andrew Wiles use of Fermats last theorem to prove parallex curves and Ken Ribets theory of epsilon conjecture.
Or you could just calm the **** down,whichever is easiest.


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## I shouldnthave

peacem said:


> 6" girth!! The half inch is not going to make much difference ouch!





inmyprime said:


> Girth of a baby’s head? Your wife expecting


Oh come on now. Not looking to give any one a complex, but I assumed we are talking circumference, not diameter 

6 - 6.5 inches in circumference is nice and girthy, but not a freak show. I think that's probably a bit less than a tube of cookie dough &#55357;&#56836;


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## ConanHub

Ok. I'm not tiny but your bragging indicates you are probably at least thicker than the majority including me.

I'm being an a hole but you are seriously being crazy about this.

I guarantee I could rock your woman if I was hung like a roll of nickels.

Penis threads are actually entertaining but you have bizarre and unhealthy hang-ups that have nothing to do with your marital issues.

Look beyond your penis, I know it is difficult because it is so damn big, for the causes of your marital strife.

I have blown women's minds that have had monstrous partners before me. These were women who offered marriage, to have my babies and everything in between just to land me and none of them denied me anything in bed.

Their exuberance had "little" to do the size of my steak and far more about how confident and skilled I was while cooking.

How old are you two? Are you both in good shape?

Get help dude...


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## SunCMars

Faithful Wife said:


> I rarely know what you are talking about, this post being no exception. But as long as you’re talking about peens I’m reading. Whee!!


Whoa!

If I ever wrote in plain English, I would lose friends.

I would gain lumps, from the many rocks thrown.

Tis' good to be misunderstood.

Then, I can please most people, each person coming to their own conclusion.

On, "What the hell that Old Fisherman is saying, after all, it's good".

.....................................................................

Life is short, never short of peen stories.

Young men like to titillate the ladies on popular websites.

Single, middle age men like to brag about their size.
I guess it works, it helps them get laid by size queens.

Whatever it takes, men will say it, do it, if it brings results.
Brings their peen closer to Heaven's Gate.
The one below the belly's 'Open the Gate button'.

Below the belt, up or down from the waist-ed Equator, near the Cumberland Gap, aft of the Cape of Good Hope.

Yeah, that one.


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## SunCMars

I will never start a peen thread.

My Tales concentrate on boobs.

For good reason.
All sizes are just fine.

Oh, boy..

I'm outta here.


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## Spicy

I haven’t experienced enough to have an expert opinion, but I didn’t want to be left out of this epically original thread.


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## 269370

I shouldnthave said:


> Oh come on now. Not looking to give any one a complex, but I assumed we are talking circumference, not diameter
> 
> 6 - 6.5 inches in circumference is nice and girthy, but not a freak show. I think that's probably a bit less than a tube of cookie dough



Aaaaaaah, ****umference! 
Now the measurements make (a bit) more sense. The problem is, my rulers won’t bend around. I tried and broke 7 and now have splinters in my balls...
It’s always the same: I try to solve one problem and create 7 others in the process...

OP: you can get (i heard ) one of those ripped penis sleeves for extra girth enhancement and rip the monster vajayjay apart. If you are worried, that is. Try not to be though.


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## Faithful Wife

SunCMars said:


> Single, middle age men like to brag about their size.
> I guess it works, it helps them get laid by size queens.


Oh I see what you are getting at now.

Speaking for myself as a TAM size queen (but not one in real life)...it takes a lot more than bragging about ones size to get me interested. And so far, none have been laid by me.

But if one was going to get laid by me, they would have much more to offer than just a big ****. Things like being 6’5” sometimes count for even more than **** size. Of course, thus far I’m in the dark on how many of my favorite preferences the only one I’ve considered has. It will remain to be peen. I mean, seen.


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## Faithful Wife

Spicy said:


> I haven’t experienced enough to have an expert opinion, but I didn’t want to be left out of this epically original thread.


To add some originality, any women care to discuss their thoughts on a peen with a bend in the shaft? Ever had one?


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## Faithful Wife

SunCMars said:


> I will never start a peen thread.
> 
> My Tales concentrate on boobs.
> 
> For good reason.
> All sizes are just fine.
> 
> Oh, boy..
> 
> I'm outta here.


As far as I recall, I’m the only one here at TAM who starts boob threads. :laugh:

Not enough interest so the threads all die too soon. A shame. Like the way more than a mouthful is a waste to some.


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## FieryHairedLady

Can we combine this with his other threads?


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## 269370

FieryHairedLady said:


> Can we combine this with his other threads?



Great idea  to make it even girthier!


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## skerzoid

Couple111 said:


> Hi ladies just a small question.
> How much larger would you say a penis girth has to be before you notice the difference. I.e- would u feel the difference in a 6” girth to a 6.5” girth? Or so on.


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## happyhusband0005

Bro, seriously you are in complete meltdown mode at this point. Your wife banged a dude who was slightly bigger than you like 20 years ago before you knew her. Yes she left out that she was with him and the details of his junk. I'm guessing she did this because she new you are a bit weird about size. The reality is you did something to piss her off and she knew she could slip you this info (true or not) and twist your brain into a mutant pretzel. 

She knows you well. You have to get a grip. 

Or you could suffer with knowledge like this was 20 years ago she was much younger and less experienced then. She has had sex thousands of times since then. The bigger guy way back then felt much larger to her than you do today. Is that what you want to hear? 

But I'll leave you with this, take @ConanHub advice focus on being the best she's ever had and stop obsessing with size.


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## I shouldnthave

Faithful Wife said:


> To add some originality, any women care to discuss their thoughts on a peen with a bend in the shaft? Ever had one?


Ha! Ieft, right, up, down?

Apparently my best friend's husband has a pretty good turn to the right - and needs some accommodation. 

I have had some good curves north that were nothing but fun.

No side winders though.


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## Faithful Wife

I shouldnthave said:


> No side winders though.


Not one single whistling kitty chaser?

https://youtu.be/WH2uifOWP-k


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## arbitrator

SunCMars said:


> I will never start a peen thread.
> 
> *My Tales concentrate on boobs.
> 
> For good reason.
> All sizes are just fine.*
> 
> Oh, boy..
> 
> I'm outta here.


*Let's just say that with due regard to "ta-tas," my friend, I was always educated in the theorem that "More than a mouthful is simply a waste!"*


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## SunCMars

arbitrator said:


> *Let's just say that with due regard to "ta-tas," my friend, I was always educated in the theorem that "More than a mouthful is simply a waste!"*


Well, maybe, maybe not.

But certainly if they reach the waist.

It is a balance thing. 
Too big, they throw her off balance.

Too big, 'they' become her, not her face.
Not good, that.


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## EllisRedding

Instead of Girth, let's talk about Garth:


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## Faithful Wife

@EllisRedding How dare you try to thread jack! 

I come here to relax and talk about peens. And you try to take it away from me. What happened to you to make you this way??? :laugh:


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## EllisRedding

Faithful Wife said:


> @EllisRedding How dare you try to thread jack!
> 
> I come here to relax and talk about peens. And you try to take it away from me. What happened to you to make you this way??? :laugh:


How bout we talk about Garth's Girth then, best of both worlds :grin2:


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## Faithful Wife

EllisRedding said:


> How bout we talk about Garth's Girth then, best of both worlds :grin2:


That would actually be an awesome porn name. :grin2:


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## badsanta

Sometimes measuring tapes can be cold and high atmospheric pressure and will give false readings. For the most accurate results use a large climate controlled canister and create a vacuum:


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## peacem

I shouldnthave said:


> Oh come on now. Not looking to give any one a complex, but I assumed we are talking circumference, not diameter
> 
> 6 - 6.5 inches in circumference is nice and girthy, but not a freak show. I think that's probably a bit less than a tube of cookie dough ��


Phew - you are right! Haha


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## PigglyWiggly

"If your face looks like a glazed donut after eating vajaja, your girth won't matter." Dolly llama dingdong


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## 269370

PigglyWiggly said:


> "If your face looks like a glazed donut after eating vajaja, your girth won't matter." Dolly llama dingdong



Had a similar line for a chocolate fudge brownie...but it’s still a little too early 


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## Lostinthought61

I have been told that the difference between "oh" and "ah" is 3 inches. LOL

Couple... no offense bro but this is bordering on just pathetic......this fixation you have pee size....has got to stop. The problem is you are not going to be happy with any answer you get from here because its not us that matters...its your wife and she is just messing with your head. Get help...please


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

Faithful Wife said:


> To add some originality, any women care to discuss their thoughts on a peen with a bend in the shaft? Ever had one?


I'm greatly amused, another peen thread! 😁😁

Re FW's comment. I do veer left a little!

And I've got to say, this is the one and only venue and "conversation" there's even been a whisper of a chance that would be an appropriate response. 

😎😎😎😊😊


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## TJW

Lostinthought61 said:


> you are not going to be happy with any answer you get from here because its not us that matters...its your wife


What your wife says is the only thing which will matter. Getting "help" is a fine idea, but, in reality, no "help" exists. Your wife's opinion is pivotal, and overrides any other opinions.


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## CatholicDad

Hey Couple and others, if you're insecure about your peen size maybe it's because you watch too much porn (where size insecurity is "born").

Most ladies are not concerned with size but rather who's wielding it, how, and the hardness (which can be boosted also by not viewing porn and spanking it all the time).

We all should strive to become better men... that's what women crave. If you're fixated on your peen, you're just wasting time.

Sorry to thread jack ladies... Continue your discussion! 😉


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## Mr. Nail

I'm afraid this thread is permajacked. My Chronic insecurity (extremely short or ugly as a bridge troll) was doing ok up until the 6'5" comment. I guess it's time to take my ball and go home.


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## Blondilocks

I shouldnthave said:


> Oh come on now. Not looking to give any one a complex, but I assumed we are talking circumference, not diameter
> 
> 6 - 6.5 inches in circumference is nice and girthy, but not a freak show. I think that's probably a bit *less than a tube of cookie dough ��*




Really, you just had to go there? It's holiday baking time and you expect us to bake up all those damn cookies while thinking about ****s? Have a little mercy!


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## 269370

Blondilocks said:


> [/B]
> 
> 
> 
> Really, you just had to go there? It's holiday baking time and you expect us to bake up all those damn cookies while thinking about ****s? Have a little mercy!



Don’t forget to add some nuts  , for extra crunch. 

Note to self: don’t be so freaking predictable prime!

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## 3Xnocharm

I knew before I even looked who started this thread. Insecure much???


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## Faithful Wife

Blondilocks said:


> I shouldnthave said:
> 
> 
> 
> Oh come on now. Not looking to give any one a complex, but I assumed we are talking circumference, not diameter <a href="http://talkaboutmarriage.com/images/smilies/wink.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Wink" ></a>
> 
> 6 - 6.5 inches in circumference is nice and girthy, but not a freak show. I think that's probably a bit *less than a tube of cookie dough ��*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Really, you just had to go there? It's holiday baking time and you expect us to bake up all those damn cookies while thinking about ****s? Have a little mercy!
Click to expand...

For some reason I think about ****s every time I grab a can of Pringles. 

Tubes of cookie dough, yeah, they are always thought provoking as well. Year round!

You can’t escape it. It’s everywhere. Rolling pins, bananas, cans of Red Bull. The world is like one big **** joke. 

So distracting!


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## arbitrator

Faithful Wife said:


> For some reason I think about ****s every time I grab a can of Pringles.
> 
> Tubes of cookie dough, yeah, they are always thought provoking as well. Year round!
> 
> You can’t escape it. It’s everywhere. Rolling pins, bananas, cans of Red Bull. The world is like one big **** joke.
> 
> So distracting!


* "Girth" is largely contingent upon the fact ... of how many digits are required!*


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## MaiChi

Sorry but 6 inches circumference is around 15-16 cm. That is too big might need to be tranquillised before I can have a 6.5 inch girth. 13-14 is pleasure. 15-17 is Nazi torture I am sure. Would be terrified of it. I have only had two children, not 8.


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## Faithful Wife

arbitrator said:


> * "Girth" is largely contingent upon the fact ... of how many digits are required!*


Oh yes, that’s the ok test. If you can close your finger and thumb around it, it’s not ok. :laugh:


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## Lila

MaiChi said:


> Sorry but 6 inches circumference is around 15-16 cm. That is too big might need to be tranquillised before I can have a 6.5 inch girth.


I agree. I cringed a little when I read 6 - 6.5 inch girth. **** people, that's huge! 

Don't believe me, here's a quick reference guide. 

https://m.imgur.com/gallery/JVIYj


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## 269370

Lila said:


> I agree. I cringed a little when I read 6 - 6.5 inch girth. **** people, that's huge!
> 
> Don't believe me, here's a quick reference guide.
> 
> https://m.imgur.com/gallery/JVIYj



Looks like a highly trained hand to me   


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

Thank goodness it was an analogous example!

I wanted to check it out curiosity got the best of me, but as I was opening I was thinking when this opens, and visually it hits me, I may go blind!

😎😎😎


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## I shouldnthave

Lila said:


> I agree. I cringed a little when I read 6 - 6.5 inch girth. **** people, that's huge!
> 
> Don't believe me, here's a quick reference guide.
> 
> https://m.imgur.com/gallery/JVIYj


I am skeptical of the large change this example showed between 6, and 6.5!

Now, I am not going to say 6” girth isn’t, hum, exceptional, it is. 

But I just measured from thumb to tip of index finger, and I have just over a 6.5” reach. I have known (yes in the biblical sense) two men that I really had to squeeze very tight if I wanted to close my fingers around them. 

Ps, for any men I just gave a complex to, my left breast is tiny, and my right is comically small


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## 269370

Lila said:


> I agree. I cringed a little when I read 6 - 6.5 inch girth. **** people, that's huge!
> 
> Don't believe me, here's a quick reference guide.
> 
> https://m.imgur.com/gallery/JVIYj




I tried this. I cannot close or bend my palm at all. What does it mean?  (Don’t tell me it’s arthritis).


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## I shouldnthave

Faithful Wife said:


> For some reason I think about ****s every time I grab a can of Pringles.
> 
> Tubes of cookie dough, yeah, they are always thought provoking as well. Year round!
> 
> You can’t escape it. It’s everywhere. Rolling pins, bananas, cans of Red Bull. The world is like one big **** joke.
> 
> So distracting!


I can’t take credit for the cookie dough reference. It was an old 90’s song “ then I heard on Tuesday Mable left me. I heard she is going out with Charlie. She saw his package and from what I know, she said

That looks like a tube of cookie dough”

Became quite the reference in college. 

I feel like the biggest creep every time I purchase cucumbers. After all - the fresh ones are nice and hard. Got to give them good squeezes to test their hardness. 

Of course, the one time my husband returned home from a business trip and found a cucumber under the bed did not help dispel this notion!

(Ha, what can I say, I was craving something girthier than the modest dildos we own - call it protecting male ego, but I always bought toys that are smaller than him)


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## Volunteer86

Well I am no where near that but my wife said slower sex you may be able to tell but being that big she would prob be numb at that point lol


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## Faithful Wife

I shouldnthave said:


> Lila said:
> 
> 
> 
> I agree. I cringed a little when I read 6 - 6.5 inch girth. **** people, that's huge!
> 
> Don't believe me, here's a quick reference guide.
> 
> https://m.imgur.com/gallery/JVIYj
> 
> 
> 
> I am skeptical of the large change this example showed between 6, and 6.5!
> 
> Now, I am not going to say 6” girth isn’t, hum, exceptional, it is.
> 
> But I just measured from thumb to tip of index finger, and I have just over a 6.5” reach. I have known (yes in the biblical sense) two men that I really had to squeeze very tight if I wanted to close my fingers around them.
> 
> Ps, for any men I just gave a complex to, my left breast is tiny, and my right is comically small <a href="http://talkaboutmarriage.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Big Grin" ></a>
Click to expand...

Do you use a condom on your cukes? They always have those little specks of whatever it is on the surface. Lolz 

My ex used to forbid me to go into the produce section while we were grocery shopping together because he knew I would start making cuke jokes and embarrass him.


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## I shouldnthave

Faithful Wife said:


> Do you use a condom on your cukes? They always have those little specks of whatever it is on the surface. Lolz
> 
> My ex used to forbid me to go into the produce section while we were grocery shopping together because he knew I would start making cuke jokes and embarrass him.


Well I don’t make a habit of it - but no condom (don’t keep any in the house anyway) - just a good soap and water wash.

Lucky for the Mr I take care of the grocery shopping.


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## Blondilocks

I think I'll mosey on down to the Social forum and wash out my eyeballs. lol


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## Faithful Wife

Blondilocks said:


> I think I'll mosey on down to the Social forum and wash out my eyeballs. lol


I was just about to post a bunch of those videos where cats are freaked out by cucumbers in Social. 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pXv44YL_Gio


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## Andy1001

inmyprime said:


> I tried this. I cannot close or bend my palm at all. What does it mean?  (Don’t tell me it’s arthritis).
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Take your hand out of your pocket and try again.👌


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## arbitrator

arbitrator said:


> * "Girth" is largely contingent upon the fact ... of how many digits are required!*


*... at least according to Dean Wormer's wife, Marian Wormer at Animal House' Faber College.

That is, of course, if you'd like to show her your cucumber! *


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## Lila

I shouldnthave said:


> I am skeptical of the large change this example showed between 6, and 6.5!
> 
> Now, I am not going to say 6” girth isn’t, hum, exceptional, it is.
> 
> But I just measured from thumb to tip of index finger, and I have just over a 6.5” reach. I have known (yes in the biblical sense) two men that I really had to squeeze very tight if I wanted to close my fingers around them.


You made me curious @I shouldnthave. I measured my reach and mine is just shy of 4". I must have small hands because I would need two to cover 6". I couldn't imagine anything that big without thinking ouch, ouch, ouch. 

However this just proves to OP that the right size is relative to the woman with whom he's with and not a universal standard.


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## 269370

I shouldnthave said:


> I can’t take credit for the cookie dough reference. It was an old 90’s song “ then I heard on Tuesday Mable left me. I heard she is going out with Charlie. She saw his package and from what I know, she said
> 
> That looks like a tube of cookie dough”
> 
> Became quite the reference in college.
> 
> I feel like the biggest creep every time I purchase cucumbers. After all - the fresh ones are nice and hard. Got to give them good squeezes to test their hardness.
> 
> Of course, the one time my husband returned home from a business trip and found a cucumber under the bed did not help dispel this notion!
> 
> (Ha, what can I say, I was craving something girthier than the modest dildos we own - call it protecting male ego, but I always bought toys that are smaller than him)



Well they do say one should have at least 5 vegs a day, to get enough antioxidants. They don’t specify whether the vegs should go in a vag but I’m sure it’s all the same.
Just don’t forget to wash them before.



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## Blondilocks

Faithful Wife said:


> I was just about to post a bunch of those videos where cats are freaked out by cucumbers in Social.
> 
> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pXv44YL_Gio


Those are so funny! Thanks for the laughs.


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## lucy999

Double post


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## lucy999

Faithful Wife said:


> To add some originality, any women care to discuss their thoughts on a peen with a bend in the shaft? Ever had one?


Yes! It was D.I.V.I.N.E. Hit The Spot. When I told my partner how wonderful it was, he got all butt hurt. Guess he was offended that he wasn't stick straight??!:scratchhead:


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## lucy999

inmyprime said:


> Well they do say one should have at least 5 vegs a day, to get enough antioxidants. They don’t specify whether the vegs should go in a vag but I’m sure it’s all the same.
> Just don’t forget to wash them before.
> 
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Is that last emoji a yam?


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## ConanHub

lucy999 said:


> Yes! It was D.I.V.I.N.E. Hit The Spot. When I told my partner how wonderful it was, he got all butt hurt. Guess he was offended that he wasn't stick straight??!:scratchhead:


So...
You like his penis and he gets upset?

For reals?


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## lucy999

ConanHub said:


> So...
> You like his penis and he gets upset?
> 
> For reals?


*sigh* yes. He's long gone. He ghosted me for an alcoholic stripper.


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## I shouldnthave

Lila said:


> You made me curious @I shouldnthave. I measured my reach and mine is just shy of 4". I must have small hands because I would need two to cover 6". I couldn't imagine anything that big without thinking ouch, ouch, ouch.
> 
> However this just proves to OP that the right size is relative to the woman with whom he's with and not a universal standard.


Wow! 4 inches? You must have exceptionally small hands. Mine are on the larger size, I am 5’6” and there is nothing particularly petite about me. 

I measured my span from thumb to second finger - like the example below - but to second finger, because well.... I don’t really grip thumb to pinky on peens!

https://goo.gl/images/Pu8mzr

(This example is showing an 8” span)

All this talk about hands for measuring makes me chuckle. A “hand” is a measurement still used for describing the height of a horse. One hand = 4 inches (distance across a palm). 

https://goo.gl/images/dzSqSh

I should start using the old kings measurement for peens. 

“It was huge! 2 hands tall and 1.5 hands around!” Or “average you know? 1.2 hands tall, a hand around”


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## 269370

I shouldnthave said:


> Wow! 4 inches? You must have exceptionally small hands. Mine are on the larger size, I am 5’6” and there is nothing particularly petite about me.



It’s not the size of the hands that counts, it’s how they make that dinner  (and how imaginative he recipes are!). 

And yes, with a bit of a bend in the right place, you kill that g spot  - thank you nature  



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## 269370

lucy999 said:


> Is that last emoji a yam?



I think it’s half of a sweet potato. What’s ‘yam’? Is that yammy? 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Rubix Cubed

I'll just post this in all of your threads. Maybe @Faithful Wife can have some fun with it.


Size Me Up - Penis Size Comparison


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## ConanHub

lucy999 said:


> *sigh* yes. He's long gone. He ghosted me for an alcoholic stripper.


Well I guess his penis wasn't the only thing that was bent!:wink2:


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## Faithful Wife

Rubix Cubed said:


> I'll just post this in all of your threads. Maybe @Faithful Wife can have some fun with it.
> 
> 
> Size Me Up - Penis Size Comparison


Damn, I thought I was going to be a judge on a panel or something.


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## lucy999

inmyprime said:


> I think it’s half of a sweet potato. What’s ‘yam’? Is that yammy?
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


I was going to say it's a relative of a sweet potato. But knowing that TAM is a stickler for being correct, I googled it. It is a type of potato and comes from lillies. 

That would hurt the bugina!!!


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

inmyprime said:


> Well they do say one should have at least 5 vegs a day, to get enough antioxidants. They don’t specify whether the vegs should go in a vag but I’m sure it’s all the same.
> Just don’t forget to wash them before.
> 
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Unrelated but it is a cucumber and veggie story I guess.

For a period of time in my long M, I would go to Publix and peruse the cucumbers and zucchinis, and purchase a couple items I thought were going to be "entertaining" for a Saturday back rub / front rub on W. I'd hide one or two under my pillow in advance. 

The first couple times I got the coveted look of surprise along with "oh really" and smile. 

I don't remember what got me started with including them, but for a window in time they were a staple.

A couple times I got the largest cucumber I could find to use, just to see how it would work, and great fun was had.

Sometimes a zucchini, just to see what would happen as well.

I made sure I didn't store them in the fridge, if accidentally put in, I microwaved them to warm them. &#55357;&#56841; see, I'm always thinking of others.

I'd always tell the cashier I was picking up salad items my wife forgot. 

To this day on the rare times I shop with W, there are always private cucumber jokes in the produce section.

Good fun.


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## 269370

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Unrelated but it is a cucumber and veggie story I guess.
> 
> For a period of time in my long M, I would go to Publix and peruse the cucumbers and zucchinis, and purchase a couple items I thought were going to be "entertaining" for a Saturday back rub / front rub on W. I'd hide one or two under my pillow in advance.
> 
> The first couple times I got the coveted look of surprise along with "oh really" and smile.
> 
> I don't remember what got me started with including them, but for a window in time they were a staple.
> 
> A couple times I got the largest cucumber I could find to use, just to see how it would work, and great fun was had.
> 
> Sometimes a zucchini, just to see what would happen as well.
> 
> I made sure I didn't store them in the fridge, if accidentally put in, I microwaved them to warm them. see, I'm always thinking of others.
> 
> I'd always tell the cashier I was picking up salad items my wife forgot.
> 
> To this day on the rare times I shop with W, there are always private cucumber jokes in the produce section.
> 
> Good fun.



The order is important for optimal stretching: start off with an asparagus or a carrot  then move onto to the cucumber, followed by sweet corn and zucchini, then some aubergine. Depending on length of time, you may want to finish with a watermelon or a pumpkin  (if it’s by midnight). But always make sure to attach a rope to the vegetable as sometimes those can be a b1tch to get out again. 
There has never been a better & more satisfying time for vegetarians!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## VladDracul

Would it make sense to combine the length and girth thing and just use cubic inches. Once cubic inches are determined, the other, and much more important measurements are the distance from the tip of pecker to the upward bend, if your lucky enough to have one, and the depth of the G-spot. Match these two while in the missionary position and you're in business.


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## Faithful Wife

VladDracul said:


> Would it make sense to combine the length and girth thing and just use cubic inches. Once cubic inches are determined, the other, and much more important measurements are the distance from the tip of pecker to the upward bend, if your lucky enough to have one, and the depth of the G-spot. Match these two while in the missionary position and you're in business.


Yes. The ultimate.


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## SunCMars

Girth Brooks..

Brooks a wide chasm.

Sings his way into Heaven.

Slides roughly past the bouncers at the furry pub door.
The pube door.


The Typist I-


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## ConanHub

SunCMars said:


> Girth Brooks..
> 
> Brooks a wide chasm.
> 
> Sings his way into Heaven.
> 
> Slides roughly past the bouncers at the furry pub door.
> The pube door.
> 
> 
> The Typist I-


Someone is going to steel Girth Brooks. It is too good!

Ellis needs to copyright it will FW!:grin2:


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## EllisRedding

ConanHub said:


> Someone is going to steel Girth Brooks. It is too good!
> 
> Ellis needs to copyright it will FW!:grin2:


Lol, he actually already exists according to IMDB:

His movies include:



> Dad Goes to College
> 2011 Highway 9
> 2011 Men Hard at Work 8
> 2011 Taxi Driver: A XXX Parody
> 2011 My Brother's Hot Friend Vol. 8
> 2010 Hairy Fu***s #2 (Video)
> 2010 Ass and Ladders (Video)
> 2010 Don't Ask, Just F**k (Video)
> 2007 Not Another Porn Movie (Video)
> 2016 Stepmom Swap (Video) (still photographer)
> 2016 Sex Machina: A XXX Parody (Video) (camera operator) / (still photographer)
> 2013 Big C**ked Str8 Studs (Video)
> 2012 Big D***s at Suite 703 (Video)


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## SunCMars

EllisRedding said:


> Lol, he actually already exists according to IMDB:
> 
> His movies include:




I had no idea. 
I must be psychic, though often thought psycho.

I am two little letters away from mad.

Sheeeeit, save me!


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## EllisRedding

SunCMars said:


> I had no idea.
> I must be psychic, though often thought psycho.
> 
> I am two little letters away from mad.
> 
> Sheeeeit, save me!


His best work was definitely in Ass & Ladders. I will fight anyone who would argue otherwise.


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## Faithful Wife

We should put a list of suggested user names in the introduce yourself section, maybe someone new will pick Girth Brooks or Garth Girth. Lolz


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## ConanHub

EllisRedding said:


> Lol, he actually already exists according to IMDB:
> 
> His movies include:


TMI!! LOL!:surprise:


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## lifeistooshort

EllisRedding said:


> Lol, he actually already exists according to IMDB:
> 
> His movies include:


This is the funniest thing I've seen all week :rofl:

Thank you for that laugh.....I really need it!


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## ReformedHubby

ConanHub said:


> TMI!! LOL!:surprise:


I will ever get his image out of my head....ughh...I guess thats supposed to be his sexy pose?:rofl:

Oh well...I guess based on his name he only needs his ummmm...equipment for that industry.


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## happyhusband0005

EllisRedding said:


> Lol, he actually already exists according to IMDB:
> 
> His movies include:


That could be just about any guy who works the counter at a pizza shop in or near times square.


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## EllisRedding

happyhusband0005 said:


> That could be just about any guy who works the counter at a pizza shop in or near times square.


I will be on the lookout next week when I am back in the city lol


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## peacem

VladDracul said:


> Would it make sense to combine the length and girth thing and just use cubic inches. Once cubic inches are determined, the other, and much more important measurements are the distance from the tip of pecker to the upward bend, if your lucky enough to have one, and the depth of the G-spot. Match these two while in the missionary position and you're in business.


I think this is a far more straightforward explanaition to the OPs dilema. 

I would like to see peens be measured by cubic inches, I think the world would be a better place because of it...


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## EllisRedding

peacem said:


> I think this is a far more straightforward explanaition to the OPs dilema.
> 
> I would like to see peens be measured by cubic inches, I think the world would be a better place because of it...


Everyone is doing it all wrong, my ween measures in at just under 2 gallons.


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## Rubix Cubed

peacem said:


> I think this is a far more straightforward explanaition to the OPs dilema.
> 
> I would like to see peens be measured by cubic inches, I think the world would be a better place because of it...


 Small block, Big block, Hemi, just try not to get a 4 cylinder short block.


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## arbitrator

EllisRedding said:


> *Everyone is doing it all wrong, my ween measures in at just under 2 gallons.*


*Sounds rather fluid!*


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## hairyhead

Couple111 said:


> Hi ladies just a small question.
> How much larger would you say a penis girth has to be before you notice the difference. I.e- would u feel the difference in a 6” girth to a 6.5” girth? Or so on.


Depends on how big your hands are.


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