# Home of Cheaters (mostly women)



## BadGrammar (Oct 29, 2017)

The following blog... 

Reuniting With Your First Love?on the Net « Shrink Talk

A couple hundred pages of people pining for and cheating with their "first loves." Offering each other encouragement and consolation. Yuck!


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

If I ran into my first love at Walmart, I would say hi. 

I would at least try to make a moment or two of awkward pleasantries then wish her well and then continue on to the produce section.


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## BadGrammar (Oct 29, 2017)

On that site the posters often assert that an affair with a first love isn't actually cheating, because the bond with a first love is somehow special. What a crock!


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

BadGrammar said:


> On that site the posters often assert that an affair with a first love isn't actually cheating, because the bond with a first love is somehow special. What a crock!


Hos gonna ho.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

There is a poster on SI (women) who did this, I bet this is where she posted her bull****.


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## Cromer (Nov 25, 2016)

GusPolinski said:


> Hos gonna ho.


Yep. Even when they married their supposed first love.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

When they shut down DocC00l the hos had to go ho somewhere else.


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## sa58 (Feb 26, 2018)

There is a big difference between first love
and true love. True love is the person who
you married, kids, and started a life with.
First loves are Ex love for a reason. This is
just an excuse for cheating, just like going 
to a HS reunion and cheating, or the oldie
IT JUST HAPPENED.


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## drifting on (Nov 22, 2013)

sa58 said:


> There is a big difference between first love
> and true love. True love is the person who
> you married, kids, and started a life with.
> First loves are Ex love for a reason. This is
> ...





My wife and I married for true love, married, kids, started a life with.......then her affair, just happened!!


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## sa58 (Feb 26, 2018)

Sorry to hear that.
My sons ex said the same thing when 
she cheated. He had one child. Married for love 
as well. She used the excuse it just happened.
After the divorce she stated the truth
IT WAS JUST FUN!! I think that is the only
reason they cheat. The fun and sneaking 
around seems to be thrilling some how. 
Now she is lonely and with out anyone.
He is now very happy. His child even wants 
to spend more time with him than her 
own mother. KARMA!!


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

BadGrammar said:


> The following blog...
> 
> Reuniting With Your First Love?on the Net « Shrink Talk
> 
> A couple hundred pages of people pining for and cheating with their "first loves." Offering each other encouragement and consolation. Yuck!


On the one hand you seem to disapprove, on the other you seem to be guiding people to them.

"The most disgusting thing you'll ever see!!! Right this way.."


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## BadGrammar (Oct 29, 2017)

SpinyNorman said:


> On the one hand you seem to disapprove, on the other you seem to be guiding people to them.
> 
> "The most disgusting thing you'll ever see!!! Right this way.."


The site is no longer taking new posts. So, my post guides no one to engage there as a participant. My purpose was to expose the absurd notion that cheating with a "first love" is somehow not a true form of infidelity. If my post potentially assists others in recognizing the red flag of a spouse's reconnection with a "first love" then I believe it is more than warranted. If you read though the entries there you will witness the gravity of this "first love" phenomena. Almost all of the tales begin with an innocent exchange, such as a friend request on Facebook. It is also a rare glimpse into the unfiltered musings of those contemplating and/or engaging in infidelity. It is true, that some may choose to read the posts there out of morbid curiosity... but I'm quite sure the same can be said of this site as well. However, that fact is incidental to my post. Not the purpose for it.


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## Rick Blaine (Mar 27, 2017)

BadGrammar said:


> The following blog...
> 
> Reuniting With Your First Love?on the Net « Shrink Talk
> 
> A couple hundred pages of people pining for and cheating with their "first loves." Offering each other encouragement and consolation. Yuck!


Ugly is as ugly does. These gals are horrible.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

Personally, I do not ‘get’ the mindset of EVER getting back with an EX....

In my view, an EX is an EX for a reason......

I love the old adage that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.

To me.....this situation really fits the saying.

For some reason, it did not work between my exes and myself.......and generally speaking, I am basically the same person I always was....and I assume, since I have no evidence to the contrary, my exes are generally the same women they were when we were together as well.....

So my basic instinct is that whatever didn’t work between us THEN is still going to be there NOW.....

So what would be the point?

I have two hard rules when it comes to relationships.....

I don’t date exes.....

And I refuse to date a woman who has cheated before......

So my EX LTgf gets a double whammy.


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## StarFires (Feb 27, 2018)

I only read a few pages and didn't see a bunch of women cheating. I saw several talking about their husband cheated on them. Some others said they would never cheat. And one said she cheated and was trying to discourage others from cheating on their husband with their FL. I guess you read a lot more pages than I did to call the site home of cheaters, but that's not what I saw.


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## Robbie1234 (Feb 8, 2017)

StarFires said:


> I only read a few pages and didn't see a bunch of women cheating. I saw several talking about their husband cheated on them. Some others said they would never cheat. And one said she cheated and was trying to discourage others from cheating on their husband with their FL. I guess you read a lot more pages than I did to call the site home of cheaters, but that's not what I saw.


JLD is that you?


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

drifting on said:


> *My wife and I married for true love, married, kids, started a life with .......then her affair, just happened!!*


*Which seriously begs the question ~ Is any woman really trustable?*


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## lostmyreligion (Oct 18, 2013)

arbitrator said:


> *Which seriously begs the question ~ Is any woman really trustable?*


Yes.
AnyONE is really trustable.
Until they're not. 
And then you have to act accordingly.
Or not.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

BadGrammar said:


> My purpose was to expose the absurd notion that cheating with a "first love" is somehow not a true form of infidelity. If my post potentially assists others in recognizing the red flag of a spouse's reconnection with a "first love" then I believe it is more than warranted. If you read though the entries there you will witness the gravity of this "first love" phenomena. Almost all of the tales begin with an innocent exchange, such as a friend request on Facebook.


Personally I think cheating with a first love is even more hurtful than with a new found lover. It sends the message that the spouse was always Plan B. When Plan A became a possibility again, bam!

Brad Paisley's song "Facebook Friends" is scary accurate how this works. It was written by someone with firsthand knowledge or who knows someone well who had this happen. https://youtu.be/yhnYGbaJQck


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

I love this one. So true.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

BadGrammar said:


> The following blog...
> 
> Reuniting With Your First Love?on the Net « Shrink Talk
> 
> A couple hundred pages of people pining for and cheating with their "first loves." Offering each other encouragement and consolation. Yuck!


This is a measured and logical response to their nonsense:-


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

You expect people to use discretion and good judgment when the log on to trashy sites like that. Any person who would join such a site is demonstrating that they lack good judgment and discretion to begin with. This alone is reason to divorce them.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

MJJEAN said:


> I love this one. So true.












Or like putting *their* dirty underwear on!


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## purplesunsets (Feb 26, 2018)

arbitrator said:


> *Which seriously begs the question ~ Is any woman really trustable?*


Ouch. Why do you say woman when really, many women say the same thing about men. In fact, it's more common for people to believe that men are more likely to cheat... 

I wouldn't want to have your perspective for the sole reason that I'd never truly and deeply love someone...because how can you if you don't trust them?


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

BadGrammar said:


> The site is no longer taking new posts. So, my post guides no one to engage there as a participant. My purpose was to expose the absurd notion that cheating with a "first love" is somehow not a true form of infidelity. If my post potentially assists others in recognizing the red flag of a spouse's reconnection with a "first love" then I believe it is more than warranted. If you read though the entries there you will witness the gravity of this "first love" phenomena. Almost all of the tales begin with an innocent exchange, such as a friend request on Facebook. It is also a rare glimpse into the unfiltered musings of those contemplating and/or engaging in infidelity. It is true, that some may choose to read the posts there out of morbid curiosity... but I'm quite sure the same can be said of this site as well. However, that fact is incidental to my post. Not the purpose for it.


I didn't realize they weren't taking new posts since I didn't go there, so it doesn't seem so odd. Thanks for explaining.


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

purplesunsets said:


> Ouch. Why do you say woman when really, many women say the same thing about men. In fact, it's more common for people to believe that men are more likely to cheat...
> 
> I wouldn't want to have your perspective for the sole reason that I'd never truly and deeply love someone...because how can you if you don't trust them?


One of the things I have always thought was a pointless topic is who cheats more, women or men. To me its a no brainer. For every person that cheats, they are doing it with a person of the opposite sex. I guess I never really understood the fear of home wreckers or players. If a married person sleeps with someone its because they want to. The home wrecker didn't steal a husband. The player didn't seduce the wife. They went along willingly with that person. IMO the odds are about the same regardless of gender.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

If I ran into my first love I'd be wet.....She's a WHALE now.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

purplesunsets said:


> Ouch. Why do you say woman when really, many women say the same thing about men. In fact, it's more common for people to believe that men are more likely to cheat...
> 
> I wouldn't want to have your perspective for the sole reason that I'd never truly and deeply love someone...because how can you if you don't trust them?


*Sorry for my jaded outlook on romance but when I'm batting .000 in two times at bat in the ballyard of marriage, you tend to develop a mindset that they're all out to cheat you!

And I'll be the very first to admit that men cheat just as much as women! *


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## purplesunsets (Feb 26, 2018)

arbitrator said:


> *Sorry for my jaded outlook on romance but when I'm batting .000 in two times at bat in the ballyard of marriage, you tend to develop a mindset that they're all out to cheat you!
> 
> And I'll be the very first to admit that men cheat just as much as women! *


My outlook on life is that the universe will give you a lesson...if you don't learn, you'll be given the lesson again and again and again until you learn. 

I also believe in self-fulfilling prophesies and the power of belief so I try not to accept beliefs and opinions that may end up hurting me! I've been cheated on. It hurts. I moved on. And the next one, I treat them like I always do, with love and respect and trust until they prove they don't deserve it.

To be honest, I was with a man once who always thought I was cheating on him...his paranoia really got to me. Eventually I thought to myself "f*ck this, if I'm going to be treated like a cheater, I may as well cheat". I didn't, but it made me realize how powerful it is when someone treats us like we don't deserve to be trusted without having been given a reason. Sometimes, we live up to the expectations others set for us.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

Thor said:


> Personally I think cheating with a first love is even more hurtful than with a new found lover. It sends the message that the spouse was always Plan B. When Plan A became a possibility again, bam!
> 
> *Brad Paisley's song "Facebook Friends" is scary accurate how this works.* It was written by someone with firsthand knowledge or who knows someone well who had this happen. https://youtu.be/yhnYGbaJQck


 WOW, That certainly does nail it. 
It's like 1/2 the stories here, set to music.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

MJJEAN said:


> I love this one. So true.





MattMatt said:


> This is a measured and logical response to their nonsense:-


:rofl:


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## dragonlady2314 (Feb 26, 2018)

Wowwwww.... the level of judgment on this thread is pretty incredible and then to hear these men degrading women and making it seem as though we are all cheaters is the most ridiculous thing. I am going to safely assume most of the people (men) posting on this thread are the cheatee's and not cheaters....hence their comments. 

I am actually familiar with this website and I agree that some of the comments are almost "encouraging" cheating and making it seem as though it doesn't really count since it is their FL. However, I think the website serves a greater purpose in being able to read through others experiences and feelings regarding their marriages and any infidelity in their marriage whether it was them or their spouse. Isn't that the point of these websites? Is to provide people with resources to others in similar situations? This is one of the 1st posts that I have seen on TAM that has this blatant level of judgment of other people's marriages, feelings, and inner struggles. 

No cheater or person struggling in their marriage is claiming to be perfect and any sane person is not excusing their cheating behavior but yet trying to find some understanding of their own feelings and what led them to their actions. None of this is easy...and it is devastating when any infidelity occurs in marriage and people are responsible for their own actions. But I resent this notion that "cheaters" are trashy/awful people....what they are, are lost people that compromised their values and morals for a short-term satisfaction of either their own ego. 

I'm not excusing for taking away from the devastation and havoc that comes from cheating but as we all know marriage is hard. Typically due to severe marital issues and more so inner personal issues...people tend to self-sabotage and are destructive to others and themselves. Of course there are the exceptions are down-right shady serial cheaters....that's a WHOLE other story but most of the time people have allowed themselves to get lost and misguided by their own insecurities, challenges, short-comings and dissatisfaction in their marriage.


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

dragonlady2314 said:


> Wowwwww.... the level of judgment on this thread is pretty incredible and then to hear these men degrading women and making it seem as though we are all cheaters is the most ridiculous thing. I am going to safely assume most of the people (men) posting on this thread are the cheatee's and not cheaters....hence their comments.
> 
> I am actually familiar with this website and I agree that some of the comments are almost "encouraging" cheating and making it seem as though it doesn't really count since it is their FL. However, I think the website serves a greater purpose in being able to read through others experiences and feelings regarding their marriages and any infidelity in their marriage whether it was them or their spouse. Isn't that the point of these websites? Is to provide people with resources to others in similar situations? This is one of the 1st posts that I have seen on TAM that has this blatant level of judgment of other people's marriages, feelings, and inner struggles.
> 
> ...


Thankfully, we are all allowed an opinion on here.
I don't know exactly what you would call a cheater other than a person with ****ty character.


"No cheater in their marriage is claiming to be perfect" cough, cough, BS, cough.

We have seen to many cheaters come here with holier than thou attitudes, expecting the members here to just welcome them in.

Ain't happening!

I don't remember who said it.
"Cheaters are the drunk drivers of the marriage world"

I couldn't agree more.


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## dragonlady2314 (Feb 26, 2018)

Windwalker said:


> Thankfully, we are all allowed an opinion on here.
> I don't know exactly what you would call a cheater other than a person with ****ty character.
> 
> 
> ...


Smh....I find it funny how all cheatee's take on this holier than thou attitude and get on their high horse and pass judgment on everyone else. The bottom-line is cheating is inexcusable under ANY circumstances however their are 2 people in a marriage and both have allowed it desinagrate. The devastation comes in when 1 person (cheater) takes the pile of rubble of the marriage and deal with it in the most unhealthy way possible. Like I said previously...none of my comments apply to serial cheaters...I'm speaking of the couples that have gotten off track, both deeply care for one another yet one decided to do the most selfish thing possible. 

It gets old to keep hearing over and over again how "****ty" these people are...some yes...most of them no. They made many bad decisions and acted in their own self interest regardless of the fallout. Im so tired of the cheatee's feel like they are above it all and wagging their fingers....smh. That's such a immature attitude towards infidelity....nothing is black and white, people make BAD decisions or a variety of reasons....usually because they don't want to "man-up" and have the hard conversations with their spouse and therefore destroy everyone in their path.


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

dragonlady2314 said:


> Smh....I find it funny how all cheatee's take on this holier than thou attitude and get on their high horse and pass judgment on everyone else. The bottom-line is cheating is inexcusable under ANY circumstances however their are 2 people in a marriage and both have allowed it desinagrate. The devastation comes in when 1 person (cheater) takes the pile of rubble of the marriage and deal with it in the most unhealthy way possible. Like I said previously...none of my comments apply to serial cheaters...I'm speaking of the couples that have gotten off track, both deeply care for one another yet one decided to do the most selfish thing possible.
> 
> It gets old to keep hearing over and over again how "****ty" these people are...some yes...most of them no. They made many bad decisions and acted in their own self interest regardless of the fallout. Im so tired of the cheatee's feel like they are above it all and wagging their fingers....smh. That's such a immature attitude towards infidelity....nothing is black and white, people make BAD decisions or a variety of reasons....usually because they don't want to "man-up" and have the hard conversations with their spouse and therefore destroy everyone in their path.


Like I said, thankfully we are allowed an opinion.
I'm just not buying what you are selling.

"Judge not lest ye be judged."

I really don't have a problem being judged. Fact is I'm judged everyday, just like most everyone is.

Here's what's going to blow your mind. I had an EA 15 years ago. I was judged by my wife and others. Hell, I judged myself everyday for better than 12 years and still do from time to time. Guess what? I'll be judged for it again.

This ain't love shack.

You don't care for a person if you're ****ing someone else behind your spouses back. You can't convince me otherwise.


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