# What am I suppose to do?



## larissa (Jan 7, 2012)

My husband and I have been together 11 years and married for 6. I just found out that he has been stealing money from my family. I had no idea we were having any money issues. I have no clue about any money. He works full time and I work part time.. I just hand him my check and he takes care of all the bills. The stealing from my family hurts me. I feel like I don't know him anymore at all. This hasn't been always little amounts of money either. The last straw for them (because I guess my whole family knew and didn't want to tell me) was four hundred dollars. He wrote a check out to himself from my grandmother's checks. This is a lady that would do anything for him. There's been other times he stole from her too I guess and from my other family. I feel hurt and very mad. Right now i'm lonely and so confused. I don't know what to do. I kicked him out of the house today.. but I have no idea how to pay bills or any of that. No way I could afford much without him. I guess I just need some support and advice on what to do.  Oh, and when I brought this all up he didn't admit it.. but then did a few hours later. He said he won't do it again.. but I guess my family had warned him before. So why didn't he learn then?! What makes this hard is that he is (was) a perfect husband and father to our kids.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

What is the grand total of what he has stolen from your family?

How does he get his hands on their check books?

Who handles the finances in your family? It sounds like he does. Do you have access to the checking/savings accounts and all your bill information?

Could your husband be buying drugs or gambling? Do you know what he did with the money he stole?

I just don't see how you can continue a marriage with him. He will certainly be banned from visiting your family.

And I wonder if he steals money from others.. not family members.. maybe people at work.. or his employer.


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## larissa (Jan 7, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> What is the grand total of what he has stolen from your family?
> 
> How does he get his hands on their check books?
> 
> ...


My aunt does the money for my grandmother. This is the first we know of with him writing a check but he has taken money (as in dollar bills) before. Last year my grandmother was missing $1800 that she was going to use for Christmas. Nobody thought it was him at the time.. but then things happened when he was around. From what I have heard today.. it was money here and there from my grandmother's purse, some change she had, and some money from my mom's house. Some of the stuff he has admitted to and the other stuff "he can't remember" .. so I don't really know a total. No gambling or drugs or anything. I think he was paying the bills with them.. and it's probably how I ended up with an ipad which makes me feel sick. I do have a debit card (we have no credit cards) that links to the account. I have no idea how how to access on the internet though.. i'm guessing I can go to the bank itself to check this out though.


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## larissa (Jan 7, 2012)

I guess they've known for a while but had no proof...


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I think that you need to get very active in your finances. If you go to your bank they will show you how to get on line and help you create an online id.

If you are considering leaving him, you might want to open up your own accounts as well so that you can start putting money aside for you and your children.

As you know, what your husband has done is terrible. He can never have a good relationship with your family again. I just don't know how you can trust him either.

If I were you I would go over all of your bills and bank accounts for the last year and see what was going on.


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## accept (Dec 1, 2011)

I dont think it will be so bad in the future. Your H has been caught and will have to stop. Its best if you discuss this with your family. If he agrees to pay back then I would forget and forgive. It seems he has spent it on you. Why must he need to steal to pay the bills if he is working. You must have some idea what he is spending his wages on.


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## Itsacommitment (Jan 30, 2012)

I'm wondering why you are asking what you should do? The guy has been stealing from your family.... Leave! He only says sorry because he got caught. This wasnt a one time momentary lack of judgement. This is indication of his character. Theft, betrayal. Leave him. You'll find a way to take care of yourself. Not having money is no reason to stay dependent to a liar and someone who is taking advantage of your family.


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