# 20 things to make your husband feel special ...



## HisSummerRose

01 - Don't interrupt or correct him when he is telling a story.

02 - Compliment him in front of the children, your parents, his parents & friends.

03 - Be a concerned about your looks as you were when you were dating.

04 - Let him hve sometime to relax when he arrives home from work.

05 - Develop a genuine intrest in his work & hobbies



06 - Admire him for his strength & significance.

07 - If he wants to take a lunch to work, pack it for him.

08 - Try to come home & off the phone when he gets home from work & up in the morning when he leaves.

09 - Help your kids be excited about Dad coming home.

10 - Buy him some new socks & underwear on ordinary days instead of given them as gifts on hoildays or birthdays.



11 - Keep your bedroom tastefully decorated & clutter free.

12 - Understand when he wants to spend time enjoying sports or hobbies with his friends.

13 - Keep his favorite snack on hand.

14 - Stick to your budget.

15 - Watch his favorite sports events with him.



16 - Try to go to bed at the same time he does, and understand if he falls asleep in the recliner after a hard day.

17 - Trade babysitting with friends so you have some nights at home alone.

18 - Keep lovemaking fresh & exciting & remember that he probably has more frequent desires than you have.

19 - Bake some homemade cookies for him to take to work.

20 - As yourself one question every day: " What's it like being married to me ?"


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## GAsoccerman

Sorry Karen, by my 20 things to make me happy by my wife is very different.....LOL


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## HisSummerRose

keep in mind this is not my made up list a friend sent this to me and I wanted to share it here with all members here !!


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## StrongEnough

I think it is a great list. I am however interested to hear what the men think on the board. How would your list differ guys?


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## GAsoccerman

you don't want to know....i'll put it this way has to do nothing with talking... 

:rofl:


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## humpty dumpty

lol this did make me laugh a little my huband will turn 4o in a few weeks and im planniong something big  but i guess socks and pants are of the list !!lol 

truthfully though i do take him for grated a little so guess ill have to make a little more effort ,


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## StrongEnough

GAsoccerman said:


> you don't want to know....i'll put it this way has to do nothing with talking...
> 
> :rofl:


:rofl: I am sure my husband would add regular BJs to the list


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## stepmomandwife08

StrongEnough said:


> :rofl: I am sure my husband would add regular BJs to the list


Heck yeah mine too!! Also on the clean room thing..lol yeah right they rather see thongs laying around and you naked on the bed :smthumbup:


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## HisSummerRose

Well I can see that my list of 20 things to make him feel special did not go over very well here on this board so I guess it was my mistake to share it here ... so good luck to all of you who do come in and read it and enjoy it ...


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## GAsoccerman

come on Karen, your list is very sweet and it is a plus for the boards,

we were just having some fun, that is all.

Your a very sweet lady and your hubby must adore you.


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## Blanca

I think a lot of marriages are in trouble b/c men are viewed as just sexual creatures (and women as just emotional). I've found out in my marriage that men are actually extremely sensitive, and dont even realize that the above list really matters to them.


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## GAsoccerman

:iagree: I agree with lj we can be very sensitive, we do have feelings and emotions. 

I was just having some fun


as I said Karen, your husband is a lucky man


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## stepmomandwife08

Sorry Karen I wasnt trying to make fun of your list of things..Just in my marriage this list really doesnt apply to us..i was just saying what my husband would like..all mean are different and in your list you say something about cooking some cookies for him to take to work and god knows I cant cook lol sorry if my other post sounded rude..i didnt mean to come off that way


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## dcrim

Karen, that list reminds me of something I'd seen from the '50s! It was a list/description of a wife's duty/responsibility to make her husband feel good. Your list is sweet, but it's also antiquated. And it works BOTH ways!


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## HisSummerRose

thank you all ... that makes me feel a weee bit better !!!! :smthumbup:


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## Amplexor

Yup, that thread went from the Cleavers to the Osbourne’s in about 3.5 seconds. 

Thanks Karen


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## Peridot

Amplexor said:


> Yup, that thread went from the Cleavers to the Osbourne’s in about 3.5 seconds.
> 
> Thanks Karen


Yep, sort of like this:

http://aparalleluniverse.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/femns_goodwife19551.jpg


Though for a while, I did make my husband's lunch for him. My mom always did a really good job for my dad's "bag lunch"... fresh fruit salad, etc. 

I tried doing sort of the same thing - only with things Alex would like. He complained constantly, "this takes too long to eat," "don't give me that again," "Peanut Butter sticks to the roof of my mouth" I tried adjusting with only different complaints... so I stopped doing it.


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## Amplexor

Peridot said:


> Yep, sort of like this:
> 
> http://aparalleluniverse.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/femns_goodwife19551.jpg


Peridont	

I’d seen this before, wow how much the rolls have changed since 1955. “A good wife knows her place” A statement like that today would get you into a pillory. 

M22, well put. I guess my philosophy has been if you

Love your spouse
Respect your spouse
Listen to your spouse
Support your spouse 
& desire your spouse

The rest should pretty much fall into place, no matter the circumstances.


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## HisSummerRose

thank you everyone for the notes and the replies so take care and I will be back soon ... maybe before the end of the month !!!!


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## sunflower

It the little things that you do that count!!!


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## GPR

Agree this sounds a little old school here, but a lot of the principles can be used today, and should be done both ways.

Here are my thoughts on them.




Lady Karen said:


> 01 - Don't interrupt or correct him when he is telling a story.
> 
> -I like this one...
> 
> 
> 02 - Compliment him in front of the children, your parents, his parents & friends.
> 
> -This would definitely be nice. It would make me feel good.
> 
> 
> 03 - Be a concerned about your looks as you were when you were dating.
> 
> -This honestly seems a little too "old school" to me. I love it when my wife is all dressed up, but I would never expect her to do it all the time. Honestly, it would be kind of weird to me.
> 
> 04 - Let him hve sometime to relax when he arrives home from work.
> 
> -I like this, and but it should go both ways. One of us is home before the other on different nights. On my early nights, I always try to give my wife some relaxation time when she gets home.
> 
> 05 - Develop a genuine intrest in his work & hobbies
> 
> -We both try to do this. I don't know if it really has to be a genuine interest (it's nicer if it is), but at least a tolerance (I guess that's the right word) for it. I love fantasy football, she hates it. Honestly, I don't expect her to like it. But she lets me do it, listens to my venting, celebrating, etc.
> 
> 
> 
> 06 - Admire him for his strength & significance.
> 
> -I think just Admire him in general would be nice, and again, goes both ways.
> 
> 
> 07 - If he wants to take a lunch to work, pack it for him.
> 
> -This could be a nice gesture once in a while to do this, but I wouldn't expect (and frankly, really wouldn't want) this to be done every day for me.
> 
> 
> 08 - Try to come home & off the phone when he gets home from work & up in the morning when he leaves.
> 
> -This isn't as big of a deal to me. It's nice, but not necessary. She has stuff going on to. I don't expect her to always be home when I get there, and I wouldn't expect her to stop a phone conversation just because I walk in the door. I come home from work every night, it's not that big of a deal. She will get off the phone and give me a hug and kiss eventually. I don't care if she finishes whatever she's doing first.
> 
> 
> 09 - Help your kids be excited about Dad coming home.
> 
> -I love this. Nothing makes you feel better than walking in the door and having the kids yell "Daddy" and running up to you. I do the same thing for her when she's the one that comes in after me.
> 
> 10 - Buy him some new socks & underwear on ordinary days instead of given them as gifts on hoildays or birthdays.
> 
> -Random gifts of any kind are nice.
> 
> 
> 11 - Keep your bedroom tastefully decorated & clutter free.
> 
> -In our house, the cleaning is a two party job. Although the bedroom is usually hers in our regular cleaning duties. But coming home to a clean house (especially when you have a 6 and 2 year old boys) is nice. We both will do that on our early days.
> 
> 
> 12 - Understand when he wants to spend time enjoying sports or hobbies with his friends.
> 
> -Again, very nice, but it goes both ways
> 
> 
> 13 - Keep his favorite snack on hand.
> 
> -We do most of the grocery shopping together. But I'll regularly stop and get her one of her snacks on my way home from work, and she likes that.
> 
> 
> 14 - Stick to your budget.
> 
> -A lot of our finances are done together, so we both need to.
> 
> 
> 15 - Watch his favorite sports events with him.
> 
> -Honestly, this is not that big of a deal with me. I don't want her to sit for hours upon hours on Sundays just to watch football with me.
> 
> 
> 16 - Try to go to bed at the same time he does, and understand if he falls asleep in the recliner after a hard day.
> 
> My wife and I will always try to go to bed together if we can. Unless we have work or homework that keeps one of us up late, but the vast majority of the time, we will go to bed together. That's when we have some of our best conversations, is lying in bed talking.
> 
> 17 - Trade babysitting with friends so you have some nights at home alone.
> 
> -Now for both of us, nights home alone are GREAT. Now, I like going out and having fun together. But we are both very busy and we have small kids. Just sitting at home and doing a movie night is great way of relaxing and spending time together.
> 
> 
> 18 - Keep lovemaking fresh & exciting & remember that he probably has more frequent desires than you have.
> 
> -The more frequent desires depends on the couple. While I do have more frequent desires than she does, her's aren't infrequent enough to be any kind of a problem.
> 
> 
> 19 - Bake some homemade cookies for him to take to work.
> 
> -Not really a big deal to me.
> 
> 
> 20 - As yourself one question every day: " What's it like being married to me ?"
> 
> -This needs to be done on both sides.


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## humpty dumpty

I think we all take our partners for grated , i know this list thing has made me think on how i can make my husband feel a little bit more appreciated for what he does for me x thanks Karen


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## Blanca

The last one on the list made me think the most "What is it like to be married to me?"


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## humpty dumpty

yes the last one does make you think !!! 
Im certainly gonna make a effort when he gets home tonight x


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## Blanca

humpty dumpty said:


> yes the last one does make you think !!!
> Im certainly gonna make a effort when he gets home tonight x


ya i think i need to make more of an effort, too.


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## HisSummerRose

:smthumbup::smthumbup: thank you one and all for your feedback on my list ... I am praying that each of you have a little something that you can improve on and to make your marriage better ... take it from me 30 years has been a long time and sometimes ... I wish I could turn the clock back and start all over again ... but I am in for the long run ... I LOVE HIM and HE LOVES ME ... so good luck to all of you !!

Hugs & Blessings,


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## java

ok, and what is he doing to make me happy?


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## ncreb24

I think the list is fantastic. My Wife is a stay at home Mom and we are are 6 months into a rebuilding period after she had an affair. This list is great because it shows that going out of your way for someone...putting their needs first is the true spirit of love. It may be antiquated for some....but I feel that to many of the "OLDER" values in marriage have been lost. Divorces come by the boat load nowadays and people to really say "Divorce is not an option" is sadly behind us in this day and age. I think this list is great because it can be used by both Husband and Wife....I plan on using some for my Wife as well. GREAT LIST!!!!!!!!!


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## HisSummerRose




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## snix11

Hmmmmm... If i only knew what made my husband feel good 

Well it sure ain't sex 

Maybe I'll go back to ironing his socks... He seems to like the whole 1950's thing. I'm waiting for our big King size bed to be replaced with two twin beds any day now. lol... Gosh, i hope not.. I love that bed!!!


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## humpty dumpty

how about a list to make your wife feel special ...
1. to put your washing in the wash bin not the floor lol!! or is it just my hubbie who does that !!! 
love him all the same mind you


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## snix11

That's it... I'm ironing his cookies tonight 

or is that baking his socks?... 

I'm a hopeless June Cleaver dropout... lol


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## humpty dumpty

ha ha ha !! i do love the list though 

and tonight ill have hus dinner ready for when he comes home !! and hopefully not burnt lol !!


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## humpty dumpty

sincere yes one of the best things my husband has done is to just hold me. To feel his arms around me just feels good


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## HisSummerRose

mommy22 said:


> Actually, a list for the men is a great idea. Why not? It needs to be sincere (as this one was). Lady Karen, would you like to compile a list of things your husband has done for you over the years that has given your marriage success and longevity?


I will see what I can do ... since I am swamped in work I will do my best to come up with something ... a few things 

01. He was there to witness the birth of all 3 of his chidren { all way of c - section }

02. He does take me away for our anniversary every year and he does pamper me while we are away too.

03. He does bring home dinner for us sometimes not always but when he does he brings home flowers with it !!


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## GPR

Things my wife loves that I do...

-random small gifts. Even if it's a candy bar, or some stupid little thing from Wal-Mart. It truly is the thought.

-Flowers at work. Random times are great, but even on regular occasions (Anniversary, Birthday). Valentines too, but it's more expected then. Women like the public nature of it. They like people asking "are those your flowers?" etc. etc. etc.... That's why it doesn't work as well on Valentines, because so many other people get them too. And if someone else has a lot better than the ones you sent, it could backfire!!!

-Randomly do her chores! Even if you normally help. My wife and I split up our chores around the house, and we each have regular duties (ME: Dishes, clean kitchen, etc. WIFE: Laundry, bedrooms, etc.) and nothing makes her happier than if on one of the days I get home early, I do some of her duties... Great example, my wife is in school. I got off early on Thursday from work. My wife would be home later, and I knew she had a test on Friday. So Thursday afternoon, I got to cleaning and did her chores first, and had enough time to do mine as well before she got home. She came home to a clean house so she could relax a little bit, and then get to studying without worrying about cleaning.

-Little notes. Around the house, emails, texts, etc... And be creative. One I did was we have one of those large 3 wick candles that sit in our kitchen my wife likes to burn. I just lightly carved *my name* + *her name* in the top (were it would melt when burned as to not ruin it), like a little school kid would on a notebook. She went to light the candle and saw it. She thought that was great!!!

-Massages!!! My wife LOVES getting a little rub down, even it it's for a few minutes in bed before falling asleep. Not just a "I want to have sex" rub, but a rub just to rub. Now if it just happens to lead to sex, all the better, but you need to do it just for her as well.

-Helping with the kids. One that my wife loves is if she has a day off, I will try (don't always succeed) to get up early enough in the morning to get our two boys to school and day care, and then turn off her alarm so she can sleep in and really enjoy her day off. I'll leave a note so she knows the boys weren't kidnapped or anything... but that really makes her day.


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## GPR

mommy22 said:


> GPR all I can say is "slam dunk"!!! You sooo get it. She's a lucky woman. Guys, take notes.


Now, it's not like I do these all day every day... but I try to do my best... 

At one point, I would try to buy her things and say things to her. While I always tell me wife I love her, doing little things for her like this helps a lot more. 

I'll be honest though, I lot of this was trial by fire. My wife has issues with self image and depression because of a rough past. She has times were she just doesn't think I love her... and she'll tell me to my face. Not because I did anything wrong, but because she can't understand how I could love HER. So I started to learn different ways to do nice things for her in order to show her how much I really do love her. And even then, they don't always work, and it can be a catch 22, that if I would slack off for a period of time, then it becomes I don't love her because I haven't done anything for her.... it's gets rough some times.

Anyways, sorry for the thread jack, got off on a rant there... if I can think of more, I'll post them up.


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## HisSummerRose

:smthumbup: GPR ... thank you for sharing with us and I knew that deep down inside someone ... a male might step forward and share his point of view and you were the one and so I am so happy to read what you do for your wife ...


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## MsLady

I liked the list. The last one just made me sad cuz I know I wouldn't want to be married to me. Not that I"m a bad person, but I'm not easy to get along with sometimes.

List for the men ....

1. Give her a back rub or foot massage sometimes.

2. Look at her and find something beautiful about her and tell her.

3. When you've unwinded after work, take the kids off her hands so she can go have some down time.

4. In the bedroom, don't forget: "Ladies First" *wink* *wink*

5. Listen to her, really listen, even when she's just rambling a bit. It'll mean a lot to her.

6. Fix something around the house. A handyman is sexy.


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## GPR

OK, I thought of a few more last night... obviously, all women want you to listen, want you to take care of them in bed, want date nights, etc. These are musts. The things I'm thinking of are mainly just small things to do at random times that don't take much work at all, that will help go that extra mile...


-When you introduce your wife to somebody (co-workers, friends, etc.) instead of saying, "This is my wife, [insert name]" say something like, "This is my beautiful wife, [insert name]" or "This is my lovely wife, [insert name]"... there is nothing like your wife seeing you show how you feel about your wife to other people.
(On a side note for both sides, try to introduce your significant other to your co-workers or other acquaintances from clubs, groups, etc. It will let them put faces with names when you talk about work, plus it shows you are proud of your spouse, and you aren't trying to hide them away at home or something. In many cases, you may spend just as much or more time with these people than you do your spouse, it's just a good idea that they at least have met eachother)

-Start her car in the morning. We live in the COLD, and when I go to work before my wife, I will start her car and brush it off for her so it's nice and warm when she goes to leave... (plus, it's better on the car to let it warm up, and she wouldn't do it otherwise... )

-Watch a movie or TV show that she likes. My wife LOVES some of those stupid Reality TV shows. I've always hated them. But I make a point to watch some of them with her so I can understand whats going on so I know what she's talking about when she's making comments. Even after being married a while, a conversation piece is always a good thing. Talking about kids and work gets old. Even something stupid like this helps a lot.

-Friends day/night. Get a hold of one or more of your wifes friends/family, and plan a random day or night out for you wife with them. Obviously, every wife wants to do things with her husband, but that doesn't mean they don't want to do things with other people as well. It could be anything at all, shopping, movie, lunch, out for drinks, etc. This is especially good if you have kids. Just pick a day when she doesn't have anything else going on, and have your friends show up to get her. Obviously, she might need time to get ready or something, so take that into account.

-Role reversal night. Now, this is really good for traditional or "old school" type relationships as I call them. You know, a relationship that have more of the traditional roles were the wife does more of the homemaking and the husband is the "bread-winner" so to speak...If you have a great wife that really takes care of you (like that stereo-type that seems like out of the 50's) that has dinner waiting when you get home from work, has the kids ready to go, has your spot in the recliner ready with your slippers and a drink kind of thing, pick a night and reverse the rolls. Pick her a spot in the recliner or the couch, turn her favorite show on, bring her a drink or coffee or something, bring her a magazine or knitting or something (my wife is young but loves to knit) and then you do what she would do. Cook, do the dishes, bathe the kids, get them to bed, and let her relax... just one night of this would go a LONG WAY!!!

-Just a few things here and there. Role reversal night is great, but you don't need to do it all of the time (we wouldn't want her to start expecting TOO much out of you now would we...:smthumbup: ) So every once in a while, just randomly do one or two of the regular chores... just up and do the dishes one night... when she's folding laundry, go stand with her and help for a while, run the vacuum one night The littlest things that won't take very long at all will mean the world to her.

-Show up and surprise her. Just at random times. Yesterday, the wife and kids were home for MLK day, but I had to work. So I took my lunch break a little early, placed a To-Go order at a restaurant, picked it up and took it home for them so my wife wouldn't have to cook. Or, on a day we both got off work early (me earlier than her), I drove to her work and waited for her in the parking lot and surprised her, and we went out to eat together. Nothing fancy, just at a Subway together, it was just the unexpected part of it. 

-Use the kids!!! It may sound kind of bad, but kids are a great tool  Especially the young ones. When you are playing with your kids, have them make "I love you cards" or "Mommy is the best" for your wife,... It might not be directed from you, but any time your wife is feeling loved, it's a plus. Another stupid thing is I get my six year old and tell him to go whisper "Daddy loves you" into my wifes ear. He gets a kick out of "telling secrets". Plus it never hurts to show some love and affection for each other in front of the kiddies. 




-------------------------------

Now, on the selfish side of this, if you do these things, she will hopefully start to do things for you in return. 
*BUT* (very huge "But"), never expect or request anything in return. There is no quicker way to undo a nice gesture than to turn around and say "I vacuumed for you, I get sex now, right?"... It's like taking 1 step forward and 100 steps back. The whole point is the unselfish gesture of showing you are thinking about her, you love her, or you want to do something for her.... if you make it out that you are doing it because you are expecting something in return out of it... you will be worse off than before.


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## swedish

Great post, GPR. Ideas are all great and I believe you are right with keeping things random so they don't become expected routine and without expectation on your part...icing on the cake!

What you do with the kids made me  You are getting the added benefit of teaching them what a loving marriage looks like.


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## humpty dumpty

Its the small things that make a marriage special ,things that dont cost much mean the world . Just to have a peacefull bath with out my children bellowing mum !!! ha ha  
But it works both ways !


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## GPR

52 small random things (1 every week) will get you farther than 1 big thing that's expected.


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## HisSummerRose

thank you all very much for keeping this post ALIVE & WELL and with all the notes that have been added and so thank you GPR you have a heart of gold and I thank for sharing with us ... and, I want to thank you !!!


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## humpty dumpty

my husband just read the list , he said its made him think to !!! wow !!  we are thinking of going away for the weekend .we have a hard time ahead of us ( we are addopting my brothers 2 children ) so thinking a last week end away before we give them all our energy to make them feel loved and wanted . thanks for the list karen x


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## Shell22

I love it! Men have emotions just like women! They love to be pampered just like women do....I mean they may like sexual things a bit more....you could always add that part to your personal list...but i love it!!!


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## HisSummerRose

humpty dumpty said:


> my husband just read the list , he said its made him think to !!! wow !!  we are thinking of going away for the weekend .we have a hard time ahead of us ( we are addopting my brothers 2 children ) so thinking a last week end away before we give them all our energy to make them feel loved and wanted . thanks for the list karen x


Your very much welcome ... I am glad that you ENJOYED IT and so do stay in touch ... and enjoy the weekend trip away as I am sure that you will ... :smthumbup:


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## humpty dumpty

had the best time  and now have two wonderful additions to our family


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