# Ever Had Your Kids Barge In On You While You Were Having Sex?



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Playing a card off of lone84's thread about what to do to keep your kids at bay while having relations, have any of you TAM'ers been unfortunate enough to have had your kids, or anybody for that matter, literally walk in on you and your better-half while you were engaged in "the act?"

As horrifyingly funny as it seems, exactly how did you handle it? This should be totally hilarious!*


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Nope. But it was because we had a large house with high ceilings and wood floors, so we could hear his little feet stomping up the stairs and down the hall to our room. 

However, my father once did. The house was very isolated and private. It also had large floor-ceiling windows all along the back wall of the main living spaces, to take advantage of the views. Daddy had a terrible habit of not calling ahead, and one morning just suddenly appeared on the back deck while my husband and I were.....busy....in the living room. I later sat him down and recommended that he henceforth call before coming over. I'm pretty sure he was far more traumatized than even I was. The poor man was red from tip to toe. He also never, ever, came over again without calling.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Well it's a real mood killer.

On the lighter side it is said that the only proper use of Vaseline as a sex aid is to apply it to the doorknob to keep the kids out.
MN


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

No but they knocked once and asked us to keep it down.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

That is hilarious arb! &#55357;&#56836;

It makes me sad that your marriage didn't work with wonderful memories like that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*When my oldest was nearly 4 years old, his mom and I were going after it during a horrendous, middle of the night thunderstorm, with flashing lightning and all of the ecoutrements, as an apparent cold front was blowing through!

Well as fate would have it, my wife or I didn't bother to lock the bedroom door prior to retiring for the evening. So while we we were busy at it, this huge flash of lightning lit up the entire boudoir, making my W scream when she saw a rather small silhouetted pajama-clad figure that was quietly sucking his thumb and fastly clutching to his teddy bear. 

Realizing that it was our oldest son who had been awakened and frightened by all of the storm activity, he ran to his mom's side of the big king bed and without asking, crawled under the covers with her. Well as he was adjusting and getting snuggled up to her, another grandiose flash of heavenly fireworks illuminated the room enough to the point that he could tell that his mom didn't have a stitch of clothes on, prompting him to say, "Mom! You don't have any any clothes on! Why not?"

I interceded with the logical explanation of, "Well, Mommy just got real hot after she went to bed! Thinking that my explanation had preemptively satisfied the young man's curiosity greatly to the point that he now lay somewhat quietly in the center of the bed between the two of us, all of a sudden, he snatched the covers up off of me, seeing yet another naked figure laying in his midst, prompting him to excitedly utter, "Daddy, you must have gotten hot, too!"

Wife and I totally lost it in uncontrollable laughter while this poor, curious, precocious little boy probably thought that we had lost our minds!*


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## batsociety (Jan 23, 2015)

Like I posted in lone84's thread: just one time, by our 11-year-old daughter (plus a handful of times by my brother when we were teenagers, and once by H's dad).

We did "get her back", I guess, last year when we managed to walk in on her and her girlfriend. I think we were more scarred by that than she was when she walked in on us.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

batsociety said:


> Like I posted in lone84's thread: just one time, by our 11-year-old daughter (plus a handful of times by my brother when we were teenagers, and once by H's dad).
> 
> We did "get her back", I guess, last year when we managed to walk in on her and her girlfriend. I think we were more scarred by that than she was when she walked in on us.


Yeah. I would probably be more scarred walking in on my kid than vice versa. LOL!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Unfortunately, our kids seem to not completely get the hint. There have been a handful of times when we have been barged in on. Last time was my 14 year old. She knocked twice and then strolled in. In every instance, there is enough of a slight delay that we can dive under the covers! Problem is that our door lock is busted. It works, but anyone can get in if they apply enough pressure to the doorknob. Funny thing is, she looked at us for a second or two and asked if she should come back later. By that time she came in and both my wife and I are naked under covers while I helped her with some math problems and then we got back to it after the daughter left. Sex 2 times in 1 day, baby!!!


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Yes. The big deal is what, exactly? Presumably kids are either too young to care or old enough to know that their parents have sex.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

We've got a great Early Warning System: the bedroom door sticks (and I'll never fix it for good reason), and and our bedroom is L-shaped, which gives us time to dive under the covers when we hear somebody working the door.

So far it's worked.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

ConanHub said:


> Yeah. I would probably be more scarred walking in on my kid than vice versa. LOL!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


*As a junior in college, I was having a rather heavy make-out session with my GF out in my car while parked in my folks driveway in the wee hours of the morning. We decided to take the activities into the house, so we quietly entered and went to the opposite end of the house from where the bedrooms were situated, settling on the nice plush carpeted floor of Mom's formal dining room. Well, let's just say that we were well on our way to hitting a home-run, with clothing, bras, and underwear being scattered so unceremoniously around us, when as fate would have it, the reflection of the kitchen light came on, and to put it as succinctly as possible, a college boys hardened appendage went from "+6 to female," all in a matter of sheer seconds!

We laid perfectly still on that floor, much like a hunted deer would do; knowing that the only occlusions to our nakedness was the dining room table itself. All of a sudden, the sliding dining room doors opened up, revealing this gargantuan figure of an older man, my Dad, who was still stumbling around as sleep had still not left the entire totality of him!~ He stared down, squinted, and after 30 seconds or so, quietly closed the door, returning to the kitchen where he closed the kitchen refrigerator door, and turned the kitchen light back off, obviously headed back to the bedroom! 

Again, back in the friendly confines of the darkness, the two of us scurried about getting dressed, leaving the house, and "getting the hell out of Dodge!" I got that girl back home posthaste well before her military Dad, a U.S. Army Colonol, woke up to find me getting her back home well beyond her cerfew!

And I preemptively found out the definition of what "blue-balls" were that night! But to this very day, I'll never ever know if Dad actually saw us there or not ~ if so, he never ever said word one about it to me for as long as he lived!*


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Dodged a bullet arb! I've never been caught but sure tempted fate once! Did the deed at my grandparents house on their living room couch while everyone was sleeping. Actually got caught by her sister who watched the whole thing and told me later.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

Oh lords and ladies...

I have two incidences that involve the youngest.

One was the time he strolled in half asleep while I was on top, yanked the covers back, climbed into bed and pulled the covers over his head and proceeded to snore.

The second time had nothing to do with actual sex taking place.

He had climbed into our bed and was laying there chattering with us before falling back asleep. All of a sudden we here this almost electric buzzing noise. I jump out of bed looking for the source, unplugging stuff thinking it's an arcing outlet (we had just dead boxed one in the living room because of it arcing). Start panicking because I can't find the source of the sound (I'm slightly phobic ...okay very phobic of house fires) and this little voice says as he points at the bedside table "mommy there in the drawer, its coming from there".

Turns out it was my vibrator. It wasn't turned off all the way (clicks off, guess I didn't turn it enough).

I have to admit it was a little ...blush worthy.


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## jacko jack (Feb 19, 2015)

Eldest Step-daughter (12 year old) came in one night will we where bonking away, she never knocked, wife was mortified, she just lay there. The step-daughter had a headache, I had to go to the medicine cabinet and get her some aspirin to relieve her headache. The only time that a headache has stopped me from having sex. This is true.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

ConanHub said:


> Dodged a bullet arb! I've never been caught but sure tempted fate once! Did the deed at my grandparents house on their living room couch while everyone was sleeping. Actually got caught by her sister who watched the whole thing and told me later.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


* Can you still look Ol' Sis straight in the eye? That's funny, Conan!*


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

All 3 of our kids have had the unfortunate experience. While those experiences were bad enough, I consoled myself with the knowledge that parents have sex is right and good and nothing to be ashamed about.

However, my 6 year old bringing me my dildo as I'm cooking dinner and asking what it is... That was tricky. Dog toy. Took it away because I realized he could bite off pieces and choke on them. Yup, I'm brilliant.

Then my 23 year old hearing me using my hitachi magic wand, as a back massage and perfectly above board, standing outside my door giggling and saying Mom...what's going on in there....

Then having my 14 year old BORROW my hitachi magic wand and asking her if she needed to clean the damn thing before she gave it back...then reminding her not to take my stuff without asking first!

Never a dull in my home...

ETA, I am one of the few women who only use the hitachi magic wand as a real massage aid and not as a masturbatory aid.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

That is pretty damn funny Anon! Mostly because it didn't happen to me. &#55357;&#56841;&#55357;&#56833;
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Omg I just remember another Toy Story...

Last week, painted the bedroom as I moved everything back in I took my locked toy bag and was shoving it behind the chair when the vibrator inside got turned on! I had to scurry to unlock the lock, remove it, open the bag and get my hands on the vibrator. Then my daughter walked in and she hears this buzzing noise. I am cracking up so hard I can't even see straight. 
She says, "Mom...what's that noise?"
I laugh hard and mumble "nothing nothing get out of my room!"
She says, "what's that noise!"
By now I have my hands on the vibrator and I can't get the damn thing to go off!
"Nothing nothing, get out I mean it!"
By now she is laughing too because she knows what I'm hiding so she comes around the bed trying to pick in the bag and I STILL can't get the damn thing to go off! Finally I pick up the whole bag and run to the bathroom to shut and lock the door so I can turn it off and she says through the door. "I didn't know vibrators were so loud."


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

My wife insist on closing and locking the door before we start in on any hot and heavy. Never by my youngest who is a heavy sleeper but my oldest autistic son is another story. 

Part way through, on a few occasions, he would knock on the door wanting to talk. I would respond, "go lay down and I will be there in a moment". The last few times, he just came to the door knocked once and said, "dad when you and mom are done having sex, come to my room I want to talk". It would be ok if he could monitor his voice but normally his voice is booming (loud), enough that I'm sure anyone walking by on the sidewalk below could hear him.  he is very much matter of fact.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

My retort would be "I didn't know daughters were, either."


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> Omg I just remember another Toy Story...
> 
> Last week, painted the bedroom as I moved everything back in I took my locked toy bag and was shoving it behind the chair when the vibrator inside got turned on! I had to scurry to unlock the lock, remove it, open the bag and get my hands on the vibrator. Then my daughter walked in and she hears this buzzing noise. I am cracking up so hard I can't even see straight.
> She says, "Mom...what's that noise?"
> ...


*Anon: You had better take those defective vibrators back to store and see if you can either get a refund or an even exchange!*


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Fozzy said:


> My retort would be "I didn't know daughters were, either."


As embarrassing as it is, I have to admit that I feel very good about my daughters knowing their Ma is a very sexual being. I feel good that my daughters will not be trying to UNlearn years of sexual repression in order to fully embrace their sexual selves. And I feel very good and confident that the attitude of sexual openness in my home has created young women who own their sexuality and will consequently make good choices about their sexuality because they can and do talk openly to both their parents about sex.

The night I yelled at my youngest for taking my magic wand we argued right in front of Dad who just sat there suppressing a smirk. My daughter didn't flinch at his presence.

That's the way I think it SHOULD be done.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Anon Pink said:


> However, my 6 year old bringing me my dildo as I'm cooking dinner and asking what it is... That was tricky. Dog toy. Took it away because I realized he could bite off pieces and choke on them. Yup, I'm brilliant.


When my 4 year old daughter came into the living room with my wifes double bullet vibrator asking her what it was my wife told her "foot massagers" one for each foot.

I nearly wet myself.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> As embarrassing as it is, I have to admit that I feel very good about my daughters knowing their Ma is a very sexual being. I feel good that my daughters will not be trying to UNlearn years of sexual repression in order to fully embrace their sexual selves. And I feel very good and confident that the attitude of sexual openness in my home has created young women who own their sexuality and will consequently make good choices about their sexuality because they can and do talk openly to both their parents about sex.
> 
> The night I yelled at my youngest for taking my magic wand we argued right in front of Dad who just sat there suppressing a smirk. My daughter didn't flinch at his presence.
> 
> That's the way I think it SHOULD be done.


*Totally, Anon! In regard to matters of sexuality, it greatly seems that you two have raised your daughters the way that we should all raise our very own!*


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> As embarrassing as it is, I have to admit that I feel very good about my daughters knowing their Ma is a very sexual being. I feel good that my daughters will not be trying to UNlearn years of sexual repression in order to fully embrace their sexual selves. And I feel very good and confident that the attitude of sexual openness in my home has created young women who own their sexuality and will consequently make good choices about their sexuality because they can and do talk openly to both their parents about sex.
> 
> The night I yelled at my youngest for taking my magic wand we argued right in front of Dad who just sat there suppressing a smirk. My daughter didn't flinch at his presence.
> 
> That's the way I think it SHOULD be done.


:smthumbup:

I've had several conversations with my wife about this. She really tries hard to foster an open environment with the kids so they are willing to come to us with questions, etc. Ironically though she's horrible at discussing anything sexual.

I'm letting her handle the questions about the mechanics of it all, since they're all girls, but I'm stepping in on the relationship part of it


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## I Don't Know (Oct 8, 2013)

Daytime sex. My wife and I are in the spooning position. Nice slow sneaky sex when the oldest, 15 at the time, knocks, walks in, and proceeds to crawl into bed next to her mom. I'm still insider my wife at this point, and every time my erection starts to fade, my wife would "stretch" or "adjust" her position. Finally the daughter says, "I'm leaving. You two are boring." and walks out none the wiser.

A few months later, the same daughter is making a big deal about us kissing in the kitchen and W says, "Geez, you'll lay in bed with us while we're having sex, but this is too much?"


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

arbitrator said:


> *As a junior in college, I was having a rather heavy make-out session with my GF out in the my car while parked in my folks driveway in the wee hours of the morning. We decided to take the activities into the house, so we quietly entered and went to the opposite end of the house from where the bedrooms were situated, settling on the nice plush carpeted floor of Mom's formal dining room. Well, let's just say that we were well on our way to hitting a home-run, with clothing, bras, and underwear being scattered so unceremoniously around us, when as fate would have it, the reflection of the kitchen light came on, and to put it as succinctly as possible, a college boys hardened appendage went from "+6 to female," all in a matter of sheer seconds!
> 
> We laid perfectly still on that floor, much like a hunted deer would do; knowing that the only occlusions to our nakedness was the dining room table itself. All of a sudden, the sliding dining room doors opened up, revealing this gargantuan figure of an older man, my Dad, who was still stumbling around as sleep had still not left the entire totality of him!~ He stared down, squinted, and after 30 seconds or so, quietly closed the door, returning to the kitchen where he closed the kitchen refrigerator door, and turned the kitchen light back off, obviously headed back to the bedroom!
> 
> ...


Been there!!! MrsMarriedDude is the daughter of my former Squadron Commander...1/1* Cav. Garry Ownen. HooAhh

Was almost caught in their backyard, middle of a rainstorm, Yongsan ROK. My Mrs...was being fairly vocal..We actually hid in the doghouse while he looked for the source of the noise...I almost couldn't restrain myself the day after, having dinner with them...he was describing the ways I needed to show respect to his daughter...to stay "out of the Doghouse". My Mrs...face turned so red her mom asked if she was ok....

Ahhh to be young and naked...under the stars...then in the dog house.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Lila said:


> My 9 year old son _steathily_ walked in on our "afternoon delight" a couple of years ago.
> 
> Mistake #1, the door was closed but not locked.
> 
> ...


*Lila, my dear: I only thought incidents like that occurred in Hollywood on the silver screen!

That's an absolute classic! That's totally priceless!*


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

Forgot to actually answer the Op's question...Got caught up in a stroll memory lane...

My boys have learned to always knock...always. They have each learned the value of knocking in what was, for them, a moment of horrible embarrassment. For each of them...the first time was always the last time..probably because it initiated "the Talk"...red faces all around. kinda funny now to look back at it. 

When I get home every evening..I go to the room to "De-Boot" with Mrs.. Our Boys know not to distrub us for 30 to 45 mins. We come out (refreshed) and make dinner. My wife and I go to bed for the evening at about 9pm every night. Our boys know...after 9pm...the only reasons to knock on that door better include Fire or Blood. They have no doubts about what goes on after 9. So, essentially, we prevented future unnecessary interruptions by establishing clear boundaries....Even more than boundaries it was instilling respect. They don't enter until they have knocked and been recognized..We give them the same courtesy.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

MarriedDude said:


> Forgot to actually answer the Op's question...Got caught up in a stroll memory lane...
> 
> My boys have learned to always knock...always. They have each learned the value of knocking in what was, for them, a moment of horrible embarrassment. For each of them...the first time was always the last time..probably because it initiated "the Talk"...red faces all around. kinda funny now to look back at it.
> 
> When I get home every evening..I go to the room to "De-Boot" with Mrs.. Our Boys know not to distrub us for 30 to 45 mins. We come out (refreshed) and make dinner. My wife and I go to bed for the evening at about 9pm every night. Our boys know...after 9pm...the only reasons to knock on that door better include Fire or Blood. They have no doubts about what goes on after 9. So, essentially, we prevented future unnecessary interruptions by establishing clear boundaries....Even more than boundaries it was instilling respect. They don't enter until they have knocked and been recognized..We give them the same courtesy.


*Military style, Dude! I love it! ~ A perpetually great teaching tool for young folks!*


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

MarriedDude said:


> Forgot to actually answer the Op's question...Got caught up in a stroll memory lane...
> 
> My boys have learned to always knock...always. They have each learned the value of knocking in what was, for them, a moment of horrible embarrassment. For each of them...the first time was always the last time..probably because it initiated "the Talk"...red faces all around. kinda funny now to look back at it.
> 
> When I get home every evening..I go to the room to "De-Boot" with Mrs.. Our Boys know not to distrub us for 30 to 45 mins. We come out (refreshed) and make dinner. My wife and I go to bed for the evening at about 9pm every night. Our boys know...after 9pm...the only reasons to knock on that door better include Fire or Blood. They have no doubts about what goes on after 9. So, essentially, we prevented future unnecessary interruptions by establishing clear boundaries....Even more than boundaries it was instilling respect. They don't enter until they have knocked and been recognized..We give them the same courtesy.


I like this. My wife likes to have more of an open-door policy, which unfortunately my kids feel includes bathrooms. Now the problem is getting them to understand that a closed door is closed for a reason. Having them walk in on you is undoubtedly a fantastic learning experience, but I'm not willing to arrange this to happen on purpose.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> Omg I just remember another Toy Story...
> 
> Last week, painted the bedroom as I moved everything back in I took my locked toy bag and was shoving it behind the chair when the vibrator inside got turned on! I had to scurry to unlock the lock, remove it, open the bag and get my hands on the vibrator. Then my daughter walked in and she hears this buzzing noise. I am cracking up so hard I can't even see straight.
> She says, "Mom...what's that noise?"
> ...


You're killing me!! Toy Story is going to be ruined for me now!! &#55357;&#56833;&#55357;&#56833;&#55357;&#56833;
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

arbitrator said:


> *Playing a card off of lone84's thread about what to do to keep your kids at bay while having relations, have any of you TAM'ers been unfortunate enough to have had your kids, or anybody for that matter, literally walk in on you and your better-half while you were engaged in "the act?"
> 
> As horrifyingly funny as it seems, exactly how did you handle it? This should be totally hilarious!*


We were very close to getting caught in the act. Our daughter just opened the door a nanosecond after completing the act. 

We told her to knock next time because what has been seen can not be unseen!


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## micawber (Oct 8, 2014)

I walked in on my parents a time or two only to see my Dad roll off of my Mom under the covers. Never knew what they were up to until later in life and then it clicked. They had the door locked, but my two brothers and I never let a cheap interior door lock stop us and we knew that a butter knife would unlock the door. So the first indication that there was an intruder in the room was the "pop" of the door lock and then the hall light filling the room. Quite shocking when one is in the throes of passion.

Soon, though, we noticed that Mom and Dad's door lock was immune to our soliciations and we gave up going in there. Years later my dad confessed that they were tired of the intrusions and my dad, being a Civil Engineer, drilled a small hole in the door jamb, through the bolt of the lock and into the back of the door frame. He kept a small nail on the molding above the door and when they wanted some "alone time" he would lock the door (why, I don't understand) and then slide the nail into the hole, thus securing the bolt to the door frame as well as their coitus un-interruptus.


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