# Our 15th year anniversary......



## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Our 15th year anniversary was on September, Friday 12.:smthumbup:

So I figured Mrs.CuddleBug thought I'd forget, so I went to the local jewelery store, bought a $1000 pair of blue gem earrings (her birth color December) seated in white gold, very romantic card and a custom made flower arrangement in a glass vase. I hid this in our storage area above the crawl space under the stairs. Mrs.CuddleBug still doesn't know were I hid it....heh heh. Anyway, I decided to surprise her even more, one day early and put the card, flowers and earrings on the dining room table, were she watches tv and does her hair in the mornings before work. She went downstairs and bam, she was surprised and happy. She told me, she thought I'd forgotten and that it was even earlier, nice surprise. 

Now she did not buy me anything. No card, no sex that day or night, nothing. The next day, our actual anniversary, I was getting down and depressed, so I read that 10 points on LD's posted on TAM and sad thing is, all 10 points describe my wifee to the letter.  So I printed them out and placed them on the coffee table because she sleeps on the couch after her last day of work for the week and I sleep alone. She read it......I got up at 5:30am, had a shower and suddenly the bathroom door opens....At first I thought it was the cat pushing his way in, nope. Then I thought it was air pressure opening the door, nope. It was Mrs.CuddleBug, completely naked, and I honestly thought she wanted to use the bathroom, so I told her, I can wait outside. She didn't want to use the bathroom, took me to the bedroom and we had great sex!!! So for the first time in 15 years, Mrs.CuddleBug and I were naked together in the bathroom and had sex before I went to work.

http://www.getendlesshoneymoon.org/low-libido-10-ways-to-tell-if-youre-with-a-low-libido-partner/


So two main things that started her thinking about her low sex drive and how it effects me and our marriage, 5 love languages quiz and the 10 points of someone who is LD posted on TAM.


Did I do good ladies??? Advice? :scratchhead:

Is it normal for the ladies not to buy anything for their man for their anniversaries, just the way it is, tradition?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

You did good! She did good!


Well maybe except that she did not give you any presents.

Do the two of you usually get each other presents on your anniversary?


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

I've read your other thread and it seems like you two are doing great. You seem to be on a consistent upward trajectory. I don't want to throw a wrench in it or anything and maybe I'm reading too much into it but i find it odd that she didn't reciprocate with some sort of a gift for you. She was so pleased and surprised by your early gift it just doesn't make sense that she had nothing for you. She even had the opportunity to get you something on time yet she had nothing/did nothing. It wasn't until she read the article you left after the fact that she came to you and offered sex. Maybe thats an awesome thing/gift in your mind due to your history. The lack of thought or care on her part even after you surprised her kind of concerns me.

In answer to your question- you did great. Your wife.... Not good.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Doesn't it seem like she only did it because you left the printout? Doesn't that make it feel kind of empty?


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## Voltaire2013 (Sep 22, 2013)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Doesn't it seem like she only did it because you left the printout? Doesn't that make it feel kind of empty?


Hmm, if you look for negatives you'll only see negatives, I like to think she realized there was an issue and acted upon it. To me that's a positive development. Good for OP. 

One a side note I just celebrated my 9th anniversary and bought her some very personalized gifts which she swiftly posted to Facebook to brag to all her girlfriends about. I got a card. 

She tells me I'm difficult to shop for. A year ago I would have been all butt hurt, drank heavily, and would have been really passive aggressive, but thanks to TAM I let it slide, she tells me she wants to take me shopping so I can pick out what I want instead. I'm happy with that. Much happier than I would have been with a sh1tty tie and more bad cologne. I'm looking for positives you see. ;-)

Cheers,
V(13)


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## Vivid (Aug 28, 2014)

If I didn't get my husband anything for our anniversary he certainly wouldn't have wanted to have sex with me. Pretty thoughtless.

But we plan our anniversaries together anyway, so it's not an issue.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Doesn't it seem like she only did it because you left the printout? Doesn't that make it feel kind of empty?


Although I am quite a cynic, I think sometimes it's worth giving others the benefit of the doubt. Thinking as you suggest will not benefit either of them. CuddleBug's wife is at least making an effort in this instance. I hope this continues even if it's two steps forward and one step back.

If Cuddlebug thinks it is empty it will feel that way, on the other hand if he thinks it isn't he will be in a better place.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Happy anniversary CoddleBug I hope you both had a terrific day.

Our 15th was on The 8th of May.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> You did good! She did good!
> 
> 
> Well maybe except that she did not give you any presents.
> ...



So maybe the man surprising his woman with gifts for special occasions and she doesn't back is still the norm?

She doesn't seem to do the gifts for special occasions, cards, all surprises like I do.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

inarut said:


> I've read your other thread and it seems like you two are doing great. You seem to be on a consistent upward trajectory. I don't want to throw a wrench in it or anything and maybe I'm reading too much into it but i find it odd that she didn't reciprocate with some sort of a gift for you. She was so pleased and surprised by your early gift it just doesn't make sense that she had nothing for you. She even had the opportunity to get you something on time yet she had nothing/did nothing. It wasn't until  she read the article you left after the fact that she came to you and offered sex. Maybe thats an awesome thing/gift in your mind due to your history. The lack of thought or care on her part even after you surprised her kind of concerns me.
> 
> In answer to your question- you did great. Your wife.... Not good.



I know my wifee was raised very frugle, so she isn't the type to spend $1000 on a surprise anniversary gift like I would for her. But, yah, I do the cards, flowers and surprise gifts way more than she does for me. What she does is, what do you want for dinner? Nothing really new. And then since she paid for it, she expects me to go out and pick it up......


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Doesn't it seem like she only did it because you left the printout? Doesn't that make it feel kind of empty?



I never expected sex and before I go to work and completely naked, surprising me in the shower for the first time. All were new for her and I didn't say, I want you to do this or that for me. It was all up to her and she did for the first time act on it and opened her boundaries and comfort zone more.

So that's all good, but if I wouldn't of put the 10 reasons for LD spouses on the coffee table, would she of done what she did? Probably no.

But the only way a clueless LD spouse will start getting it, communication, reading, and always pushing their comfort zone a bit. Do nothing, say nothing, get nothing and nothing changes.....see?


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Personal said:


> Happy anniversary CoddleBug I hope you both had a terrific day.
> 
> Our 15th was on The 8th of May.



thx and congrats for you as well.:smthumbup:


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Vivid said:


> If I didn't get my husband anything for our anniversary he certainly wouldn't have wanted to have sex with me. Pretty thoughtless.
> 
> But we plan our anniversaries together anyway, so it's not an issue.



That's partly what I am thinking too.

Maybe its because she was raised so frugal?


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## Thebes (Apr 10, 2013)

Happy you got the surprise you wanted.

I've bought things for my husband before but never get anything in return. I finally stopped.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Thebes said:


> Happy you got the surprise you wanted.
> 
> I've bought things for my husband before but never get anything in return. I finally stopped.



I never told her anything, or expected anything, especially sex before work, and naked in the bathroom together. This was something she has never done with me in our 15 years of marriage.

My wifee found out how much the earrings and flowers cost today and she was saying, you didn't have to spend all that money on me. I told her, its our 15th year anniversary and you are worth it. She is frugal and doesn't like it when I surprise her and spend a lot of money on her. Her parents are frugal and raised her that way.

I too don't like the fact she did nothing for our 15th year anniversary. A card, maybe a gift and surprise dinner would of been nice. But nothing.....not cool in my books.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

omg, you must have been stoked! keep on that path. there WILL be setbacks. Ignore them and push forward.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

murphy5 said:


> omg, you must have been stoked! keep on that path. there WILL be setbacks. Ignore them and push forward.



I will and thx.:smthumbup:


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