# Call my thinking conservative if you like.



## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore (Apr 7, 2011)

Bored and browsing through "new posts" on TAM this morning. Began to realize how maybe I am a little more closed minded to how different people can be. 

Why… OH …. why would couples want to sexually “share” or “swap” their partner with anyone else?! 

I must give kudos to members who can respond with a more level headed and non judgmental reply than the thoughts swirling through my brain of, “Huh??? Why would you even want to do that???!!!


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I think you're in the majority with your way of thinking. People who swap/share/swing are in the minority.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I don't even like other people driving my car. Get your own car.


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## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore (Apr 7, 2011)

runs like dog said:


> I don't even like other people driving my car. Get your own car.


 Bingo!!!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore said:


> Bored and browsing through "new posts" on TAM this morning. Began to realize how maybe I am a little more closed minded to how different people can be.
> 
> Why… OH …. why would couples want to sexually “share” or “swap” their partner with anyone else?!
> 
> I must give kudos to members who can respond with a more level headed and non judgmental reply than the thoughts swirling through my brain of, “Huh??? Why would you even want to do that???!!!


Believe me, most are conservative like you here. I noticed that too and these are rare threads & usually get many replies of how this can bite you in the kisser, the personal stories can be interesting to learn from -from those who have tried. 

I am happy that all types, even outside of the box types sexually, swingers , even open marraige types can still come here and share but the 90+ majority % is against all of that. 

I can direct you to a forum that is 100% against porn , having sex outside of marriage , even thinking about your fiance lustfully is wrong. It is a marriage Chrstian purely SEX forum, if you are THIS conservative. The judgement there can be severe. I found it very frustrating to constantly be rediculed and told I needed to repent for just being "myself".


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore said:


> Bored and browsing through "new posts" on TAM this morning. Began to realize how maybe I am a little more closed minded to how different people can be.
> 
> Why… OH …. why would couples want to sexually “share” or “swap” their partner with anyone else?!
> 
> I must give kudos to members who can respond with a more level headed and non judgmental reply than the thoughts swirling through my brain of, “Huh??? Why would you even want to do that???!!!


I could tell you. But I am guessing you don't really want to know. 

Cheers.


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## grizabella (May 8, 2011)

Some people's idea of marriage is not "traditional" and we could say then it is not really marriage. I remembrer in the 60's when all of this stuff came into the popular culture. Everyone thought "how liberating" how "freeing" and maybe it was for awhile. But today there are so many considerations, std's not being the least of which. Long term marriages are unusual enough today and the family is under seige from many of our "progressive" institutions. So swinging, cheating, open marriage are just more hills to fight and bleed on if you believe traditional marriage is still the best mode for parenting and sexual and emotional stability. This is a real battle folks and we need all the help we can get (like this forum) to keep the troops strong.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> I don't even like other people driving my car. Get your own car.


Yep. As far as what other people do I say whatever floats their boat. It just isn't for me.


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## Locard (May 26, 2011)

I kind of had the wild idea that the church and society deemed what marriage should be. Now, if somed people want to define it diffrently, it is America! I would also say that swingers are in the minority and if you read around it does not always end well. Not to say many "normal" marriages dont either!


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Mom6547 said:


> I could tell you. But I am guessing you don't really want to know.
> 
> Cheers.


Actually, I do.

If you want to tell me via PM, I'm good with that.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

Conrad said:


> Actually, I do.
> 
> If you want to tell me via PM, I'm good with that.


Who knows, some others may be interested. I will try without writing a book. Why we started and what extra unforeseen benefits are two different things.

Let's start with basic belief system. As you know, I am an atheist. So I don't have any religious dude in thy sky telling me what not to do. Our basic belief is that marriage is a sacrifice of our nature to the better interest of building a life together. That life together has many awesome factors; trust, love, good times, and excellent sex. Sex itself has many meanings for us from the deep connection to the darned right silly and playful.

But one thing both of us believe is that our animal nature was meant to sow seeds and receive seeds from different populations. AND that sex and love are not always as connected as religion and society would like to have us think. That men and women have the *desire* to have sex with more than one person in their lives. That desire is something we chose to ignore in favor of the other benefits of our marriage.

The FIRST thing that made us explore the idea of swinging was that I am bisexual. (That was a discovery and conversation of a decade right there.) There are many, many things that DH can be to me. Female is NOT one of them. I chose to forsake all others. So there is no need within me to learn about that side of me that is not trumped by being bisexual. But it was there as something to contemplate. 

(It is immediately obvious when you read a bit and start looking that the single woman to play with a married woman or a couple is called a golden unicorn for a reason. We contemplated my seeking lesbian women instead but I felt that I would not be able to offer them a relationship which is what most of them wanted. I did not feel right not also meeting the needs of the other partner in the relationship. AND the day to day life of a lesbian woman looks so different than ours, it was hard for us to get close in the conversations that took place.)

K here goes. DH and I are kinda kinky. (NO ANIMALS. He told one couple that I was into horses to get rid of them. Funny as heck, yes I am sure. But ... no that is disgusting ... and if your mind is going there, shame on you!  ) There are just some things you can't do with two. And sex is FUN. Fun is good. It was not from a lack of what we had for fun, but an augmenting of it. You don't have a bbq because the meal you had last night was inferior. You just want a different way to experience a meal with different people.

And odd benefit that we had read about that is going to strike many as purely laughable is really, really tight friendship. The closeness that we experience sexually with our partners is distilled to swinging partners in the form of very good friendship. If you looked around my father's funeral, you would see that many of my vanilla friends were busy. But the casseroles were there from my swinging friends, and they were there. When my heart hurts, when my slider door needs replacing, when I need someone to talk to, they are the ones I hail. Having shared a level of secrecy as well as intimacy, it is just different in a way that is difficult to describe.

What we could never have even begun to imagine is how the experience has made us closer and stronger. That which is challenged comes out the other side stronger when the challenge is met. Yes I have experienced jealousy. And he has proven to me ever single time that that he is MINE. When there are opportunities to trust are very challenging and we have acted in very trustworthy ways, then trust is built. When there have been minor misunderstandings resulting in hurt feelings, we have learned the very useful skill of forgiveness.

He does not chose me because he signed a paper all those years ago. He does not light up like a light when I enter a room because I own him or because no one else will have him. We both now know that on the open market, we would sell. But We Are Not For Sale. He chooses me for ME. I choose him and will every time for HIM. 

We have shared a thing that many never will. That is kind of a cool bond, like the fact that we have shared sky diving. Like the fact that we both love to experience good food. 

Does that help at all?


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

It helps a great deal.

And, it makes perfect sense if "trust" is present.

I think many make the mistake of seeking variety and spice when "trust" really isn't there. And, it's a huge mistake for them.

The fact that you trusted him enough to admit bisexuality is a tremendous compliment to him.

We've had conversations that bordered on the edge. But, I know we never would have the trust to engage in that sort of thing.

For instance, if I was out for the night, the interviews would start of "what I was doing"... "did he meet anyone"... Ugly stuff.

I only had eyes for her.

I wish she could have seen it.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

Oh for the record, OP who started this thread, I have no objection to your choosing to be conservative. You can have my money to manage any day! I actually don't even mind the judgement. There ARE some risks to swinging. There IS good reason to be cautious. And there are some whose belief system makes it just wrong. I just hate the judgement based on on ignorance.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Runs like Dog said:


> I don't even like other people driving my car. Get your own car.


That sums up my sentiments exactly! And now I'm having a divorce because I didn't like loaning out my car or taking on additional passengers.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

Conrad said:


> It helps a great deal.
> 
> And, it makes perfect sense if "trust" is present.
> 
> ...


He realized it first.

And trust wise, that was a journey not a destination.



> We've had conversations that bordered on the edge. But, I know we never would have the trust to engage in that sort of thing.
> 
> For instance, if I was out for the night, the interviews would start of "what I was doing"... "did he meet anyone"... Ugly stuff.
> 
> ...


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Mom6547 said:


> He realized it first.
> 
> And trust wise, that was a journey not a destination.


Make no mistake about it. She broke my heart.

But, I will heal.


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

I wanted try having a threesome with my husband. I didn't want to become a swinger or have an open marriage. I only wanted to try something new with my husband. Although I was sexually experienced before I met Mr.G, there were certain acts I only did with him. I wanted him to be the centre of my one and only threesome, just like he was the only man I tried anal with.

Mr.G is not open to that and I understand his concerns. Many of them echo the cautions against swinging I'm reading here.  I don't need a threesome to be happy, but I do need my marriage. :smthumbup: Marriage is truly meant for only two people anyway. After much thinking, I realize that a threesome opens a Pandora's Box of all that murders monogamy.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

I don't think it means you trust someone more because you swing, in fact the opposite, many swingers I have spoken with have said that people cheat and lie all the time, and they just want it out in the open, so really they don't trust, they are just cutting to the chase really.

I however trust my fiance not to cheat, and swinging to me would be cheating.


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

Syrum said:


> I don't think it means you trust someone more because you swing, in fact the opposite, many swingers I have spoken with have said that people cheat and lie all the time, and they just want it out in the open, so really they don't trust, they are just cutting to the chase really.
> 
> I however trust my fiance not to cheat, and swinging to me would be cheating.


I do agree. I think marriage is a union between a man and wife. You take the sole intimacy they share in the bedroom away by adding sexual intimacy with others and I don't see the point or the benefits but then again it's something I would not choose or have ever desired. In speaking with my husband it's not something he's ever desired either. I also don't have vanilla friends or need to have sexual intimacy with others to have close friendships. Those I hold close always rally together for one another in times of need, joy and in-between without having sex in any way involved.


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## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore (Apr 7, 2011)

Just got off the phone with a guy friend. I'm pet sitting for him this weekend and he called to see how things were going. He asked what else I was up to. Told him that I'd just flipped open my laptop, subject of TAM came up and I mentioned this thread topic to him. 

I sensed a little hesitation in him and then he stated, “You know..... a really long time ago a girlfriend I was head over heels for wanted me to sleep with both her and her female roommate.” 

Me, “And …. Did you?”

Him, “Na, I didn’t. It actually hurt my feelings a little she suggested it and wanted to share me with her roommate."

Me, "Ya?"

Him, "I cared about her a lot then. The last thing I would have ever thought to ask of her would be something like letting me share her with my guy roommate.”

Me, "Guessing things didn’t workout so well for you two then?" Was actually a redundant question on my part, because I don’t recall hearing much about this gal in the past. 

Him, "Nah. Probably should have taken that as a sign early on."

We both laughed and then a subject change.

Anyhow ........ I kind of always thought the majority of guys would jump at the chance to have a threesome if the opportunity presented itself. Maybe not, I guess.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore said:


> Just got off the phone with a guy friend. I'm pet sitting for him this weekend and he called to see how things were going. He asked what else I was up to. Told him that I'd just flipped open my laptop, subject of TAM came up and I mentioned this thread topic to him.
> 
> I sensed a little hesitation in him and then he stated, “You know..... a really long time ago a girlfriend I was head over heels for wanted me to sleep with both her and her female roommate.”
> 
> ...


Hell no!!! Not married. Before hand sure. But again not with anyone I was serious about. Or if I was in a serious relationship.


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore said:


> Just got off the phone with a guy friend. I'm pet sitting for him this weekend and he called to see how things were going. He asked what else I was up to. Told him that I'd just flipped open my laptop, subject of TAM came up and I mentioned this thread topic to him.
> 
> I sensed a little hesitation in him and then he stated, “You know..... a really long time ago a girlfriend I was head over heels for wanted me to sleep with both her and her female roommate.”
> 
> ...


Maybe in fantasy but I don't think the majority of men would jump at it in reality. Although I would think before marriage they might and if they weren't serious about their SO. Although in Mom's case it seems as if the two of them can do so without any negative (and even get positive) consequences so that confuses things and leads me to believe it is a choice that can work for others but not for me.

I did dabble in various scenarios before I got married. When I was in my late teens/early twenties I was a wee bit wild. When I first met my husband I would have been open to it and even suggested it several times (before marriage) but he said he had no interest and wanted me to put that idea completely out of my mind before giving me the..."I only have desire to be with you"...speech. I don't know, this really endeared him to me. If he had said..."Hell yeah!" I am thinking we never would have gotten married.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

Conrad said:


> For instance, if I was out for the night, the interviews would start of "what I was doing"... "did he meet anyone"... Ugly stuff.


We tried the separate thing. We did not like it so stopped doing it.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

Trenton said:


> I do agree. I think marriage is a union between a man and wife. You take the sole intimacy they share in the bedroom away by adding sexual intimacy with others and I don't see the point or the benefits but then again it's something I would not choose or have ever desired.


There is so much more to a good marriage than sexual ownership! The why bother being married thing has always struck me. Is that all marriage is?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

We have a male swinger friend, he is in a totally sexless marraige, his wife allows him this outlet without judgement. Yeah, it is a crazy situation and I have asked him why he stays married to her more than a few times. 

I guess they accually enjoy each others company, they go to the gym together, they run, eat out together, they have an older son who visits & stays with them sometimes, she does not want to leave her house, he does not want to end up in some small dank apartment alone & lonely - just because others feel he should get a divorce. 

I surely do not envy this man, but I also won't judge him. He loves sex, she hates it, so this is their compromise. They both enjoy living with someone and not being alone. 

Not everyone's life is picture perfect. He is well aware of all the judgement around him on his lifestyle, he learned to quit caring a long time ago. I just listen.


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## KJ5000 (May 29, 2011)

I could not agree more. Never understood the whole swinger thing.
Why bother getting married if that's how you feel about monogamy just live together.


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## Crftlot490 (May 13, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Believe me, most are conservative like you here. I noticed that too and these are rare threads & usually get many replies of how this can bite you in the kisser, the personal stories can be interesting to learn from -from those who have tried.
> 
> I am happy that all types, even outside of the box types sexually, swingers , even open marraige types can still come here and share but the 90+ majority % is against all of that.
> 
> I can direct you to a forum that is 100% against porn , having sex outside of marriage , even thinking about your fiance lustfully is wrong. It is a marriage Chrstian purely SEX forum, if you are THIS conservative. The judgement there can be severe. I found it very frustrating to constantly be rediculed and told I needed to repent for just being "myself".


I'm not Christian, but I think that's the way it's supposed to be--are morals so overrated these days that people really think they can just do whatever they want and simply chalk it up to having an "extroverted personality" or just "being themselves?" Some of us really do have innately deviant personalities that we have to work harder to control instead of trying to justify it by trying to make other accept it. People really have no couth anymore...


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

Syrum said:


> I don't think it means you trust someone more because you swing,


Absolutely not! It may offer an opportunity for the development of trust, but it definitely does not make trust. 

As I said, the swinging population looks a LOT like the vanilla population.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> We have a male swinger friend, he is in a totally sexless marraige, his wife allows him this outlet without judgement.


I don't know if you care, but in the lifestyle that would not be refereed to as swinging but an open marriage. Swinging is an activity usually engaged in together.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

KJ5000 said:


> I could not agree more. Never understood the whole swinger thing.
> Why bother getting married if that's how you feel about monogamy just live together.


What does marriage mean to you?


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## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore (Apr 7, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> We have a male swinger friend, he is in a totally sexless marraige, his wife allows him this outlet without judgement.


Does the wife (or even your friend) worry he may find someone whom he enjoys having as a sexual partner and then at some point, he might wind up in a relationship with that other person? He could find a woman where everything else clicked along with sex.

Not even totally certain why I'm asking this. LOL!!! Just one of those things that make you go, "Hmmm??? What if .....???"


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore said:


> Does the wife (or even your friend) worry he may find someone whom he enjoys having as a sexual partner and then at some point, he might wind up in a relationship with that other person? He could find a woman where everything else clicked along with sex.
> 
> Not even totally certain why I'm asking this. LOL!!! Just one of those things that make you go, "Hmmm??? What if .....???"


From the way he talked (we have not seen him in a long long time) I don't think she was worried or cared. He is mid 50's , they both work. He used to be a swinger, going to the clubs-so he said. Not anymore I guess. We just alwys felt bad for his situation. He had a good job, he could have just divorced.

If he did find someone, I do beleive he would leave her. I think he gave up on love & women a long time ago though. He would talk about how beautiful she was, I think this had some bearing on why he stayed with her and put up with what he did. I just listen, I let people tell me their stories.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

Crftlot490 said:


> I'm not Christian, but I think that's the way it's supposed to be--are morals so overrated these days that people really think they can just do whatever they want and simply chalk it up to having an "extroverted personality" or just "being themselves?" Some of us really do have innately deviant personalities that we have to work harder to control instead of trying to justify it by trying to make other accept it. People really have no couth anymore...


Deviant! Love it. As a matter of fact, I consider myself to be among the most morally thoughtful of people I know as do the people I know! I just don't happen to buy the puritanical anti-sexual balogna of our society. Sex is so terrible you only suffer it with the one you love! To hell with charitable works for the poor. You better make sure you aren't having any fun in bed!


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

Mom6547 said:


> There is so much more to a good marriage than sexual ownership! The why bother being married thing has always struck me. Is that all marriage is?


It's not ownership if both want to be there and give one another their sexuality. It's not all marriage is but it's the only thing I cannot get from anyone else within my life besides my husband by choice. So it's a big thing.


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## grizabella (May 8, 2011)

Mom6547 said:


> Deviant! Love it. As a matter of fact, I consider myself to be among the most morally thoughtful of people I know as do the people I know! I just don't happen to buy the puritanical anti-sexual balogna of our society. Sex is so terrible you only suffer it with the one you love! To hell with charitable works for the poor. You better make sure you aren't having any fun in bed!


Then you have a civil contract not marrriage.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

Trenton said:


> It's not ownership if both want to be there and give one another their sexuality. It's not all marriage is but it's the only thing I cannot get from anyone else within my life besides my husband by choice. So it's a big thing.


Ahhhh I hear you. There are so so many things that I only get from my husband by choice. And vice versa. But you are talking about sharing the exclusivity and that is nice. I can't see how it could HURT.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

grizabella said:


> Then you have a civil contract not marrriage.


Wait. Love, commitment, kids, trust, deep connection, copious time spent together, communication, occasional fights.. that sounds like a marriage to me.

Certainly no christian church would sanction us. But I am not christian!


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## WhereAmI (Nov 3, 2010)

grizabella said:


> Then you have a civil contract not marrriage.


:scratchhead:

Her marriage is different than yours. It doesn't make it any less of a marriage. They've made a decision that has brought them closer together. I'm failing to see the problem.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore said:


> Why… OH …. why would couples want to sexually “share” or “swap” their partner with anyone else?!


i think a three-some would be awesome- in fantasy land. In reality it would not work out. Sex is intimate and riddled with issues, but i also think it has its purely fun and erogenous side. I just cant separate the two. so while its fun to play out in fantasy, in reality it wouldn't work for me.


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

Mom6547 said:


> Wait. Love, commitment, kids, trust, deep connection, copious time spent together, communication, occasional fights.. that sounds like a marriage to me.
> 
> Certainly no christian church would sanction us. But I am not christian!


I am not a swinger and neither is hubby. But unless you or your H are propositioning me or my H, your choices have no affect on me - therefore I have no judgement on you. Just curious, what are some ground rules? Are you scared of STD's? Where do you meet people? How old are your kids? If younger, where are they while this happens? If older, do they know or would you tell them? Is it common knowledge amongst your families and other friends?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

golfergirl said:


> I am not a swinger and neither is hubby. But unless you or your H are propositioning me or my H, your choices have no affect on me - therefore I have no judgement on you. Just curious, what are some ground rules?


At the beginning, I know we did. I just cannot remember specifically what they were. The one that remained throughout was he and I come first, period. If one is out, both are out without question or negotiation. If there is risk, we run. 

This is the same rule/principle that the people we tended to hang out with had. We certainly knew of people where one or the other would try to get their partner to do something that they did not want or pressure them. But we did not enjoy that so we did not tend to hang with folks like that.




> Are you scared of STD's?


Definitely a risk. But no not scared TOO much. All protection that could be taken were. We never hung with people who would even consider/mention not using protection because if they thought of it with us, they thought of it with others. DH and I got tested annually on a six month stagger and checked everyone else's testing habits.

Obviously the risk is greater than monogamy. There is no doubt. We were comfortable with the very low rate of HIV in our state (something like 4 reported cases every) and our mitigation.





> Where do you meet people?


Online.



> How old are your kids? If younger, where are they while this happens?


They were little at the time. They were at their grand parents or with a sitter at home while we were elsewhere. 



> If older, do they know or would you tell them?


When they are old enough to ask, I will tell them as much as I feel they have a right to know. Our sex life is private. But teaching them about sexuality is part of our parental job. It is the same balance. Since I don't have any moral objection to RESPONSIBLE non-monogamy, I have no reason to hide that from my children.



> Is it common knowledge amongst your families and other friends?


Some friends, yes. Family, no.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

Blanca said:


> i think a three-some would be awesome- in fantasy land. In reality it would not work out. Sex is intimate and riddled with issues, but i also think it has its purely fun and erogenous side. I just cant separate the two. so while its fun to play out in fantasy, in reality it wouldn't work for me.


Knowing yourself is a very good thing!


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

We explored swinging for similar reasons that Mom6547 did when my husband came out as bi-sexual last year.

This was a way to explore those feelings, with me being involved, and give him a chance to explore what those feelings meant and what they would mean to him and I within the confines of our marriage.

And like Mom6547, we did develop a couple of actual friendships. The secrecy and intimacy creates a bond that is different and hard to explain. It's like you're part of an elite club that not everyone can be a member of.

Even with all the sexual problems between us - we were able to separate that and explore the swinging side with no jealousy or trust issues - in fact, being able to be a part of my husband's discovery of this "other side" brought me emotionally closer to him. 

We are not currently swinging as I believe there are other issues we need to work out first. But I intend to delve back into the lifestyle once things are settled in my marriage.

As others have said - different strokes...


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

MarriedWifeInLove said:


> We explored swinging for similar reasons that Mom6547 did when my husband came out as bi-sexual last year.
> 
> This was a way to explore those feelings, with me being involved, and give him a chance to explore what those feelings meant and what they would mean to him and I within the confines of our marriage.
> 
> And like Mom6547, we did develop a couple of actual friendships. The secrecy and intimacy creates a bond that is different and hard to explain. It's like you're part of an elite club that not everyone can be a member of.


Yup.



> Even with all the sexual problems between us - we were able to separate that and explore the swinging side with no jealousy or trust issues - in fact, being able to be a part of my husband's discovery of this "other side" brought me emotionally closer to him.


We DID experience jealousy. Coming to understand the reason for the feelings, working through the feelings, and assuring each other brought us closer. 




> We are not currently swinging as I believe there are other issues we need to work out first. But I intend to delve back into the lifestyle once things are settled in my marriage.


It strikes me as unlikely that we will ever go back. Been there, done that. Moving on.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

grizabella said:


> Then you have a civil contract not marrriage.


Disagree.

I have a marriage - have had one for 26+ years.

And I don't believe my sexuality (or his) is bound to just us in the marriage.

We were both on board for the swinging and enjoyed it.

Our issues have absolutely NOTHING to do with the swinging, they were there before we started and after we took a break.

It was exciting, forbidden, secret - lots of fun.

And we'll do it again.

The fact that it doesn't work for most is fine - but it does/did work for us - our marriage - our life - our choice.

Different strokes...


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

By all accounts all I have is a civil union. We were married by a Mayor that came to our ceremony for a small fee and read the vows and made it official. I am not religious and never have been so call it what you will. I never understood why religion believed it owned the word marriage and I do actually believe that anyone should have the same rights to that piece of paper that gives rights granted by the state to two people who love one another and want to share their life together.


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