# Is it tolerable that women get violent?



## The Renegade (May 16, 2012)

A bit of a sensitive subject, I know (I like that). 

Thing is: I was out jogging the other day and found a couple fighting on an empty side-road out there. Actually, she was really hard beating down on him, literally like a heavy weight champion, and he was ducked down, hands in front of his face, crying. She backed off a bit when I was passing by, but continued right after. They were both about 18 or so.
Came home, told this to my wife, she said: "Well, he must have done something really bad."
My question is: Like what? I mean, stolen her money? Sex with another woman?

I also saw a Youtube video the other day from some guy in the "manosphere" (sorry, not finding it anymore), where he made a compilation. Could see quite a number of iPhoned scenes with (usually younger) women, in public, punching a guy really hard in the face, even knocking him down. When he got up again and tried to get back at her, he was immediately knocked down again by the other five guys around him, since we all know that women need to be protected.

Question: Is there any point that could justify that a woman gets violent? Then: What could a guy do in such a situation? Any thoughts (experiences) on that?


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## Davi (Apr 20, 2012)

May be he has done things that hurts her..but is not necessary that he was mistaken..in this type of case cheating or keeping eye on partner can be reason..


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

no

next question!!


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## Love Song (Jan 16, 2012)

Violence is not acceptable in any situation except in defense. And if a woman ever feels the urge to beat or hit on a man that is surely a sign that the relationship should be over.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

No...never ok to hit anyone.


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## Love Song (Jan 16, 2012)

What I don't like is men who feel it is ok to fight women in the same way that they would fight with a man. I believe in equality but I also live in the real world and it isn't right for a woman to be treated like a man as if women are built the same because we aren't. I know of at least one man here on TAM (not saying all guys just this one) who has admitted that he will hit a woman just as he would a man because he believes in 'equality'. I call :bsflag:!!


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## JJG (Mar 9, 2011)

I believe that sometimes in this life people deserve a smack in the face.

I also believe that if a woman hits a man she had better be ready to be hit back. 

Dont give it if you cant take it.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

No, she should of gone to jail.

I use to be a runner before I broke my neck. I always carried a cell phone(put it in the key pocket of running shorts) and a can of pepper spray with tear gas in it to ward off dogs. I've been bitten and threatened several times by dogs!

I would of called 911 on the lady beating the man. It wrong and uncalled for!


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Noooo!


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Not acceptable at all! The ONLY exception I would make is self defense. That's it. If they were, indeed, a couple, then her ass should have been reported. I don't care WHAT his offense was. Beating someone down like that is unacceptable.


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

The only way I'd beat my man down is if he physically attacked me and I was defending myself. I don't believe anyone should hit anyone else, other than those defending them or their loved ones.

I stress to my kids, not just my sons, that it is NOT okay to hit anyone, my daughter likes to try to take the "boys don't hit girls" rule at my ex husband's house by hitting her brothers and when they hit back, she runs to daddy and tells and one of my sons get in trouble. My rules don't apply to just one sex, they apply to everyone, boy, girl it doesn't matter to me. You don't hit...period.


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

No, and you should have called the police.


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## The Renegade (May 16, 2012)

iheartlife said:


> No, and you should have called the police.


Sure that would have had no use, living in a country where there are different standards. 

Apart from that, would you think that would really have a great effect if I had done so in any Western setting. No offense, but I guess no-one would take a call like that really for serious.

Could have stepped up myself, but I believe it would not help him in mid-term or long run. Physically he did not have any disadvantage. So, he needs at some point to learn to stand up for himself.


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## LadyFrog (Feb 27, 2012)

There are cases of spousal abuse where men are physically abused by their women. It's not as uncommon as one might think. It's just not talked about.


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## The Renegade (May 16, 2012)

Love Song said:


> What I don't like is men who feel it is ok to fight women in the same way that they would fight with a man. I believe in equality but I also live in the real world and it isn't right for a woman to be treated like a man as if women are built the same because we aren't. I know of at least one man here on TAM (not saying all guys just this one) who has admitted that he will hit a woman just as he would a man because he believes in 'equality'. I call :bsflag:!!


Not sure what to make out of that. Does that mean women should definitely hit men back, but men shouldn't if they get hit by a woman? I know it's sensitive, but what would you have done in this or similar situation as a man?

I guess I would not have hit on her like I would have done on a man (to be clear: I never hit people. But then again: I'm never in such a situation). But I would probably grab her not so gently by the shoulders and push her into the grass, look her deep in the eyes and tell her: "You're done now!". Something like that. IMO that would not be inappropriate.


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## The Renegade (May 16, 2012)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> There are cases of spousal abuse where men are physically abused by their women. It's not as uncommon as one might think. It's just not talked about.


Have to agree on that.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

The Renegade said:


> Question: Is there any point that could justify that a woman gets violent? Then: What could a guy do in such a situation? Any thoughts (experiences) on that?


In the scene you saw and in the video you did not get to see what led up to the beat down.

Most of the time I would say that there is no excuse for violence in a marriage by either partner.

But... I can think of one that I actually did. My first husband became violent after we were married for a while. He had gone through brain surgery so I was cutting him some slack due to problems from the surgery. I was young and stupid in thinking that we’d weather it and I’d help him heal and the anger/violence would go away.

He hit me, punched me, etc.. once he gave me a black eye, smashed my head into a table.. you get the idea. Well one day he came at me and started hitting me. He was 6’ I am 5’3”. I became furious that he was going to once again physically attack me. I turned on him and gave him a pretty good beat down… no bruises or anything like that. But I’d had some Karate training so when I was young I had a pretty good punch. While I was going at him I was saying “So you like beating on me? Well how do you like getting beat on? Is this fun?” It was like a switch was flipped in me and I was not going to allow this anymore. I think he was more shocked then physically hurt.

He never again became violent. That ended the physical abuse.

Was it justified. I think so, it was self-defense and it worked.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

Tom Jones wife beat the sh!t out of him for one of several affairs. "I took it." I suppose he felt that it was deserved.

I can certainly understand a spouse getting violent after infidelity has been discovered. However, understanding is not the same as condoning.

If a man has assaulted a woman, he should be prepared to be hit in return. Assault can be physical, sexual or verbal and sometimes self defence is necessary. An ex boyfriend screamed in my face during arguments for years, despite my repeated requests for him to stop. The madness did not end until I thumped him one day. I have no regrets or shame for that action because he assaulted me first. Screaming in someone's face is considered assault and abuse up here, because of the intimidation factor.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

The Renegade said:


> Sure that would have had no use, living in a country where there are different standards.
> 
> Apart from that, would you think that would really have a great effect if I had done so in any Western setting. No offense, but I guess no-one would take a call like that really for serious.
> 
> Could have stepped up myself, but I believe it would not help him in mid-term or long run. Physically he did not have any disadvantage. So, he needs at some point to learn to stand up for himself.


Yes, in the USA a call to 911 about a woman beating a man would be taken seriously.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

The Renegade said:


> Not sure what to make out of that. Does that mean women should definitely hit men back, but men shouldn't if they get hit by a woman? I know it's sensitive, but what would you have done in this or similar situation as a man?
> 
> ....


I think it depend on whether or not the hit acutally hurt. I know a lot of women who could not hit/punch their pay out of a paper bag. 

If she hits him and it's a sissy punch/hit he should not hit her back. Instead he can walk away. He probably should end the relationhip at that point.

Is she hurts him and/or is constantly comming at him to fight physically he should still try to walk away. Generally men are a lot stronger than women and he could hurt her a lot more than he intends to. Thus he now gets set up for abuse. He's a lot better off walking away if he can. If he cannot walk way then he can take the needed action to stop the attack. But few people would believe that he was defending himself.. it's sad but this happens. he could end up in legal trouble for domestic violence.

I'd give women the same advice as above... try to walk away and end the relationship.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

EleGirl said:


> In the scene you saw and in the video you did not get to see what led up to the beat down.
> 
> Most of the time I would say that there is no excuse for violence in a marriage by either partner.
> 
> ...


Oh EleGirl... that's just terrible.
I'm so glad your here to tell that story.

Bullies are the pits.


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## Kurosity (Dec 22, 2011)

My father raised me to know that it does not matter if you are a female or male hitting is wrong. He would say, "Princess, if you kick a man in the nuts expect to be hit back like a man." or "Stand up for your self but never hit first." and so on.

Abuse is abuse no matter who is dealing it out. No one should hit another I care not what gender, age, relationship, or whatever it just is not alright.


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## The Renegade (May 16, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> He hit me, punched me, etc.. once he gave me a black eye, smashed my head into a table.. you get the idea. Well one day he came at me and started hitting me. He was 6’ I am 5’3”. I became furious that he was going to once again physically attack me. I turned on him and gave him a pretty good beat down… no bruises or anything like that. But I’d had some Karate training so when I was young I had a pretty good punch. While I was going at him I was saying “So you like beating on me? Well how do you like getting beat on? Is this fun?” It was like a switch was flipped in me and I was not going to allow this anymore. I think he was more shocked then physically hurt.
> 
> He never again became violent. That ended the physical abuse.
> 
> Was it justified. I think so, it was self-defense and it worked.


I think, totally justified and congratulations. Most guys would say you should have done so right with his first punch. But then again, we are always quick to give advice like that to a woman.

My wife was in a similar situation in her first marriage. She never hit back, but at some point found a way to walk out of him. This is rare in a country where domestic violence from men towards women is commonplace and where there are no laws against it. Usually when women start talking about abuse, the first reaction from just about everyone is: "What did you do wrong?"
It is commonly understood that men hit on women in a marriage for "educational purposes" or it is automatically assumed that she must have done something wrong. 
Women here have, IMO, a weird approach to that situation as well: They take it in a way like: "If I can only find a way to forgive him and show him more love then one day he will change." Needless to say, that never works.
We did in the beginning of our relationship talk a lot about it as I try to understand why a women would remain in such a situation.

But now, back to the threat. I am not here to talk the problem of domestic violence from men against women in any way down. It's a serious issue. But I sense it the other way around also on the rise.


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## The Renegade (May 16, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Yes, in the USA a call to 911 about a woman beating a man would be taken seriously.


My first thought on that is that there is always a certain difference between theory and practice. But if you say so, I do believe it.


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## The Renegade (May 16, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> In the scene you saw and in the video you did not get to see what led up to the beat down.


Not in this nor in that did I see what led up to the beating. I do acknowledge self-defense as a good enough reason, it was, however, certainly not led by a first hit from the men. No self-defense in either case. Therefore my point is: anything else would be irrelevant.


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## The Renegade (May 16, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Is she hurts him and/or is constantly comming at him to fight physically he should still try to walk away. Generally men are a lot stronger than women and he could hurt her a lot more than he intends to. Thus he now gets set up for abuse. He's a lot better off walking away if he can. If he cannot walk way then he can take the needed action to stop the attack. But few people would believe that he was defending himself.. it's sad but this happens. he could end up in legal trouble for domestic violence.


That's exactly the point and many guy keep that in their back-head. So, what's a man got to do?


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

The Renegade said:


> Sure that would have had no use, living in a country where there are different standards.
> 
> Apart from that, would you think that would really have a great effect if I had done so in any Western setting. No offense, but I guess no-one would take a call like that really for serious.


Nowadays in the US, there are plenty of women arrested for assault. I haven't seen any charts, but I'm sure it's skyrocketed. 

Have you ever seen the show Cops?

Here's an interesting article--this is 3 years old from The Guardian newspaper published in London, and it discusses British statistics. Apparently in the UK, at least, while women are not (according to studies) more likely to perpetrate domestic violence, but they are 3x more likely to be arrested. Part of it may be, when women do commit violence against their spouse, it's likely to include a weapon.

Women three times more likely to be arrested for domestic violence | Society | guardian.co.uk

Of course, then we get into the whole he was abusive for years, she fights back one time, and she gets arrested for it. There are many other issues surrounding domestic violence, including the difficulty of getting a restraining order to protect one's self, etc.

But theoretically, in an ideal world, one involves the police (where they are not corrupt).

Still, in the scenario you've described, hands down what one should do in the United States is call the police, and it would have resulted in a report being filed at the very least.


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## loobylou (May 19, 2012)

In the early days of our marriage, if we argued about something, he would not let it lie. It was never acceptable to him that we should just accept to differ. He used to pull the duvet off me and switch the light on to stop me going to sleep until I accepted what he said. If I tried to escape the bedroom to try to get some peace somewhere else, he would physically restrain me. This of course just made the situation and the argument worse. One day when he had my wrist painfully twisted up around behind my back in one of these "restraint" techniques to stop me leaving the room, I kicked him hard in the ankles. He was apalled that I should do this to him and accused me of violence. I'm not proud of it, but I can tell you that he never again tried to use his superior physical strength to restrain me (which is also a form of violence if it is painful)


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

The Renegade said:


> : Is there any point that could justify that a woman gets violent?


Yes, in self defense.



> Then: What could a guy do in such a situation? Any thoughts (experiences) on that?


This is an unpopular stance but I hold no gender bias.

If a woman is going to be foolish enough to become physically violent wIth me or mine she's going down just as hard and fast as a man would.
I always meet any violence towards me with even greater violence.
This philosophy has kept me our of the hospital on more than one occasion.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

As a survivor of domestic violence, I believe abuse of any kind (emotional or physical), no matter what the gender, is abuse. Sadly, it just isn't talked about or taken as seriously when it's a man who is the victim. Hopefully this will change.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Love Song said:


> What I don't like is men who feel it is ok to fight women in the same way that they would fight with a man. I believe in equality but I also live in the real world and it isn't right for a woman to be treated like a man as if women are built the same because we aren't. I know of at least one man here on TAM (not saying all guys just this one) who has admitted that he will hit a woman just as he would a man because he believes in 'equality'. I call :bsflag:!!


That was me.

It`s no BS.

Legally I`m well within my rights to defend myself in any reasonable manner I see fit.

Ethically I see no reason to not give what I get.
In fact I put myself and family in danger by not doing so.

You underestimate your own gender.

I was never much for the dogmatic status quo


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

The Renegade said:


> My first thought on that is that there is always a certain difference between theory and practice. But if you say so, I do believe it.


In practice many men who have called the police on their SO`s for physical abuse have ended up in jail themselves in this country.

I know of three personally one whose wife admitted to it.


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

tacoma said:


> That was me.
> 
> It`s no BS.
> 
> ...



I'm probably gonna hear it on this one but, I truly feel that if a woman puts herself in the place of a man, then she deserves to be treated as such.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

pidge70 said:


> I'm probably gonna hear it on this one but, I truly feel that if a woman puts herself in the place of a man, then she deserves to be treated as such.


I just don`t see the logic or rationale in not defending yourself from a woman because she`s a woman.
It has nothing to do with the fact that women are generally physically weaker than men regardless of what the defenders of the viewpoint say.

It has to do with the fact that she`s a woman and our culture has a deep dogma that men are to protect all women at all cost.

If a 140 lb woman physically assaulted me and I put her down I`d be disparaged by society for doing so.

However if a 140 man physically assaulted me and I put him down I`d be well within my rights.

Makes no sense to me.

The thing is that at a fit, 180 lbs, with the ability to fight well most 140 lb men wouldn`t dream of assaulting me.

Many women would..why?

Because they don`t think I`ll fight back.

They`re wrong and they`ll get hurt.


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## borninapril (Jun 6, 2011)

There are women out there that have bad tempers too. About ten years ago my Brother and his family were staying with me and one night his girlfriend (now his wife) and I got into an argument about her calling my then girlfriend (now my wife) some names to get a rise out of me. I asked her to stop and then to leave. She got into my face and basically backed me into a corner. It got to the point that She was yelling at me to hit her and I was yelling at her to leave, finally she got the point and left with her kids (two from a previous relationship before my brother and my brothers son). Later I talked to my brother about it and told him I was sorry I had to kick her out but I wasn't gonna take her talking like that about someone she barely knew or treat me like that in my own house. He started telling me about some of the abuse she dealt with growing up and from the father of her other two children. So I just came to the conclusion that she must have thought that it was ok for a man and woman to sit there and fight/ hit eachother because that's what she grew up around. And though I'm not proud to admit it, I considered hit her for a moment when she had me backed into the corner and was in my face yelling and screaming. She was/ is a big girl (5'10" and about two hundred pounds).


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

pidge70 said:


> I'm probably gonna hear it on this one but, I truly feel that if a woman puts herself in the place of a man, then she deserves to be treated as such.


Yes your gonna hear it from me . I don't see it as a woman putting herself in the place of a man if she has enough nerve to confront said man assertively. Just as i don't see it as a man putting himself in the place of a woman if he changes diapers, cleans the house, cooks, ect... All that is bs classification since both genders are fully capable of doing either or not just one. It doesn't take having a pair of testicles to be able to get physical nor does it take having a pair of tits in order to do a few chores. There are perfectly good reasons a woman can beat on a man and perfectly good reasons a man can beat on a woman... this gender stuff is completely idiotic imo. Sure there are females who are weaker then males when it comes to being physical but there are also males who are weaker then females in this as well. 


Now.. aside from that.. spousal abuse be it verbal, physical, or mental is wrong from both genders. 

However... in cases such as ele's and tacoma's.. I think it is perfectly justified to get physical in, as many already said, self defense. 


Some examples:

self preservation
Family being threatened
Offspring being threatened
Friend being threatened if you have a close enough bond to said friend to care.

These above examples can go for either gender imo... if a woman threatened any of a man's above... i feel he is perfectly entitled to retaliate physically if he needed to and same if the woman was threated by a man for any of the above. Now sure a man can try restraining said woman first but if that is impossible then hell he has a right to lay his hands on her and vice versa. 

Of course what the OP saw could have been spousal abuse OR it could have been a self defense issue. One can never really be to sure. Hell it could have been... the guy raped the womans sister for all he knew.. but still i do agree that the cops should have been called so they could sort out the situation and such.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

borninapril said:


> There are women out there that have bad tempers too. About ten years ago my Brother and his family were staying with me and one night his girlfriend (now his wife) and I got into an argument about her calling my then girlfriend (now my wife) some names to get a rise out of me. I asked her to stop and then to leave. She got into my face and basically backed me into a corner. It got to the point that She was yelling at me to hit her and I was yelling at her to leave, finally she got the point and left with her kids (two from a previous relationship before my brother and my brothers son). Later I talked to my brother about it and told him I was sorry I had to kick her out but I wasn't gonna take her talking like that about someone she barely knew or treat me like that in my own house. He started telling me about some of the abuse she dealt with growing up and from the father of her other two children. So I just came to the conclusion that she must have thought that it was ok for a man and woman to sit there and fight/ hit eachother because that's what she grew up around. And though I'm not proud to admit it, I considered hit her for a moment when she had me backed into the corner and was in my face yelling and screaming. She was/ is a big girl (5'10" and about two hundred pounds).


See this... imo.. you had every right to get up and yell back in her face and if she got physical then i believe you were entitled to ward off such attacks and even restrain if necessary. She was threatening you and i don't see how your wife didn't step in?


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

Gaia said:


> Yes your gonna hear it from me . I don't see it as a woman putting herself in the place of a man if she has enough nerve to confront said man assertively. Just as i don't see it as a man putting himself in the place of a woman if he changes diapers, cleans the house, cooks, ect... All that is bs classification since both genders are fully capable of doing either or not just one. It doesn't take having a pair of testicles to be able to get physical nor does it take having a pair of tits in order to do a few chores. There are perfectly good reasons a woman can beat on a man and perfectly good reasons a man can beat on a woman... this gender stuff is completely idiotic imo. Sure there are females who are weaker then males when it comes to being physical but there are also males who are weaker then females in this as well.
> 
> 
> Now.. aside from that.. spousal abuse be it verbal, physical, or mental is wrong from both genders.
> ...


We will just have to agree to disagree. I saw my mother wake my father up many a time by punching him and he just took it till one day he couldn't anymore.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

pidge70 said:


> We will just have to agree to disagree. I saw my mother wake my father up many a time by punching him and he just took it till one day he couldn't anymore.


You see that is what i disagree with.. the whole abuse thing. I can understand self defense, ect but to just abuse your loved one? That is when i think it's inappropriate for either gender..


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## Vanton68 (Feb 5, 2012)

The Renegade said:


> A bit of a sensitive subject, I know (I like that).
> 
> Thing is: I was out jogging the other day and found a couple fighting on an empty side-road out there. Actually, she was really hard beating down on him, literally like a heavy weight champion, and he was ducked down, hands in front of his face, crying. She backed off a bit when I was passing by, but continued right after. They were both about 18 or so.
> Came home, told this to my wife, she said: "Well, he must have done something really bad."
> ...


I think that in society it is more tolerable if a woman gets violent vs. a man beating a woman. There was an incident in my town where a woman was trying to stab her husband because he had cheated. After she stabbed him 3 times, he dropped her with one punch. Of course they were both arrested and are awaiting trial. But many of the girls I know, said he still shouldn't have hit her, instead he should have run away.


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

Gaia said:


> You see that is what i disagree with.. the whole abuse thing. I can understand self defense, ect but to just abuse your loved one? That is when i think it's inappropriate for either gender..


That's what I meant by a woman putting herself in the place of a man.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Vanton68 said:


> I think that in society it is more tolerable if a woman gets violent vs. a man beating a woman. There was an incident in my town where a woman was trying to stab her husband because he had cheated. After she stabbed him 3 times, he dropped her with one punch. Of course they were both arrested and are awaiting trial. But many of the girls I know, said he still shouldn't have hit her, instead he should have run away.


Well ffs i think he was perfectly entitled to knock her on her rear end! I mean cmon she was STABBING him... and if he ran.. it wouldn't have been for very long or far considering he was already injured! This is what i was pointing out in my first post. Things like this is when i believe it is perfectly fine to get physical.. self preservation..


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

pidge70 said:


> That's what I meant by a woman putting herself in the place of a man.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I only disagree with the putting herself in place of a man statement because i don't see physical abuse such as THAT as a gender thing.. more of a jackass thing. To me... she would have been putting herself in the place of a jackass .


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Things like this can be taken way out of context which result in one gender using it to control the other... this is why i disagree with it. Take away the saying.. this is a mans place.. or this is a womans place... and people can't use that excuse anymore to put their gender above another. That's just how i see it though and I know not everyone does.


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## domah (May 18, 2012)

I'm in my early 30's and during my younger years, I'm ashamed to say that I used to believe it was okay for women to hit men (but never the other way around). I can remember succinctly, I was once in my High School's psychologists office (due to my parents feeling there was something wrong because I had bad grades), and we had a discussion about violence. I remember clearly, she told me that it was okay for a woman to hit a man, but a man can never, under any circumstances hit a woman.

Over the years, I knew several men who would regularly get slapped, kicked, punched or scratched by their girlfriends and/or wives. I'd see or hear about this, and think nothing of it.. until one day, it happened to me. My EX wife and I got into a heated argument over car-insurance, and she by surprise slapped me upside the head so hard that it ruptured my right ear drum. It took every ounce of self control I had to not hit her back.

For almost a month I was deaf in my right ear. I lied when I went to see the doctor, and told him it was a vollyball accident. I lied to my work, and told them the same. Even to my friends, I was ashamed to tell them the truth, and said it was a sporting accident. I should have learned from this incident, but I stayed with my wife for several more years. In those years, she has bitten me, scratched me, broken my rib by throwing a dinner plate at me, and given me a black eye. Each and every time, I did not hit her back. I used to think I could convince her that violence, even toward men, is not a good thing; however, she saw nothing wrong with it, and would say things such as, "well, if you didn't make me angry, I wouldn't hit you." I tried to use logic with her as well, and asked her, "well, then is it okay if I hit you, if you make me angry?" Her response was that she'd call the police and have me thrown in jail. One time, she scratched me so hard, I was bleeding, fed up, and not knowing what else to do, I called the police. The second they arrived, she started crying, and telling them she was scared of me, and guess who spent the night in jail? It wasn't her...

This women eventually divorced me, and after a much heartache, I've learned a valuable life lesson. I now have a wonderful girlfriend, who has not once shown an iota of violence towards anyone.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

tacoma said:


> I just don`t see the logic or rationale in not defending yourself from a woman because she`s a woman.
> It has nothing to do with the fact that women are generally physically weaker than men regardless of what the defenders of the viewpoint say.
> 
> It has to do with the fact that she`s a woman and our culture has a deep dogma that men are to protect all women at all cost.
> ...


I think the issue is the level of the attack. If a 140 lb woman slapped you and did not do any harm... but you put her down, that could be excessive.

If on the other hand she came at you with a 2x4 or some other weapon then it makes a lot of sense to use whatever you can to stop her in her tracks.

If she has a punch that can knock you silly, break your nose, whatever you have every right to stop her physically. If she get hurt by your attempt at self defense.. that's her problem.


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## 67flh (Sep 26, 2011)

wife attacked me with a butcher knife, i knocked her lights out.


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## The Renegade (May 16, 2012)

domah said:


> I'm in my early 30's and during my younger years, ...


Thank you. I really appreciate your openness and you sharing this story. And congratulations on your new girlfriend.

Was a bit worried at first, but am really glad now to have brought up that thread. I'm learning a lot from many of the posts in here.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> I think the issue is the level of the attack. If a 140 lb woman slapped you and did not do any harm... but you put her down, that could be excessive.
> 
> If on the other hand she came at you with a 2x4 or some other weapon then it makes a lot of sense to use whatever you can to stop her in her tracks.
> 
> If she has a punch that can knock you silly, break your nose, whatever you have every right to stop her physically. If she get hurt by your attempt at self defense.. that's her problem.


There is some truth to this and is the reason why I wouldn't ever strike my wife regardless of what she did to Me (except perhaps her using a weapon)
However a woman I don't know is ... well unknown to me. 
I wouldn't know what she is capable of until she attempted it.
By then It may be too late for me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

67flh said:


> wife attacked me with a butcher knife, i knocked her lights out.


That's self defense.


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## Vanton68 (Feb 5, 2012)

I know of a guy who is a big 6'6", and hits his wife who is a really petite 5'7". (I already did the rescue thing for her, and she went back a couple of months later, so too bad for her). But I honestly don't know how he hasn't done more damage than breaking her jaw and ribs. So if she was to snap one day and start beating him (without provocation) I wouldn't think that the guy would have a right to defend himself.


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