# A short novel on my situation...



## wtfdmsdg (Jun 4, 2012)

Hey there. Long time lurker, first time poster...

Basically, I'm here because of some problems that I've been having in my marriage. I am 33 years old and my wife is 25. We have been married for about two years, having known each other for about five years, one of which we dated. This is my second marriage - my first was a joke and a mistake but it gave me two beautiful daughters and a whole lot of heartache. This is my wife's first (and hopefully only) marriage. 

In the beginning, we predictably had a lot of sex. I have always been a HD guy, but I've also always been very beta and non-initiative. Thankfully, I was blessed with a HD wife - she still is to this day. However, we have been plagued with money problems during most of our time together. When the money problems started... I started having ED problems, which made me want to initiate even less... Which made my wife feel like a undesirable **** when she would try to initiate and nothing would happen. As the ED started to happen more, my desires went away. I went to a doctor and found that I had low to normal testosterone levels of 410, which I now understand is likely too low for my age. I obtained some ED samples and while they helped the mechanics work, the damage must have been done by then. 

At this point, we have come out of the money problems and are better off than we have ever been. I am able to get hard and stay hard and function as I did in the earliest parts of our relationship. However, my sex drive is still basically nonexistent and that is continuing to take a toll on our relationship. While we're in better shape than we have been, I still can't afford to see an endocrinologist to see if I can get some sort of treatment. I have been making an effort to be a little more aggressive because my wife's self esteem, always low, has really been in the dumps lately. But it's hard - we've always valued being completely honest, and she can tell when I'm trying to be something that I am not. I feel if I had more desire, it could get the ball rolling.

So here's a related issue.... As a result of not having much sexual desire at all... My wife doesn't know what she can do for me. I'm basically an introvert who loves to be left alone, but my love languages have always been Touch-Time-Words-Service-Gifts, in that order... With touch and time being really high and service and gifts being really low. So, while I want to be left to myself most of the time, the main ways that I am shown love are... Touch and time. All this is leaving my life feeling useless, and as you know... There isn't much I can say to her to change her mind for more than a minute at a time. Sweet words get a smile out of her for a second.

I have recently read No More Mr. Nice Guy and some of the stuff fits me really well and could have really helped me growing up. Same with Married Man Sex Life, back when I had the desire.

I have spent a lot of time thinking about things like my needs and my boundaries because the fact of the matter is... I don't seem to have much in the way of needs or boundaries. In fact, I always kind of prided myself on it - I think NMMNG has a section on that. I expect very little and ask for even less and it has never really bothered me because I've been able to keep myself entertained very well to this point. That played into my first wife's schemes very well, but my current wife has been doing everything she can to make me open up about my needs and wants... But beyond time alone and Diet Mt. Dew and time with my daughters and music and my weights, they just aren't there. And so she feels greedy for wanting anything, which I don't want her to feel.

Any thoughts?


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## wtfdmsdg (Jun 4, 2012)

Thinking about it now, I guess I have probably posted this thread in the wrong section of the forum. It may have been better to put the thread in the Sex section of the forum or even the General Relationship section, but I thought it fit well here.


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## Santa (May 31, 2012)

Thinking about it... I would trade places with you in a heartbeat. Not a bad problem to have actually. A wife that wants to meet your needs if you can think of any...wow.. You should feel blessed.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Ever heard of PT-141? Google it. It is legal, for the moment, and it increases libido through the roof in those who are sensitive to it. There are youtube videos demonstrating how to use it.

On the not so legal side, anabolics will increase sex drive.


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