# Confused



## needprogress (Nov 9, 2012)

I am trying to decide whether to file for divorce. I have read many posts and my situation doesn't seem as clear as others. We do not often argue as my wife avoids all conflict. In the past year, I (key word here is "I", not "we") have tried many paths to address our relationship issues including trying to talk about it, seeking counseling, not talking about it, etc. She does nothing and states I should be happy with a "good enough" marriage. This means no sex, awkward times when it is just the 2 of us together, and no discussion of improving the relationship. I keep wondering if divorce is the answer here and I just don't have the balls to go through with it. I have read The Married Man Sex Life book and started running the MAP but nothing has changed, in fact it seems a little worse as she has seemed even more withdrawn. She has started sleeping in a different room now which she says is due to her insomnia and can't getting her sleeping temperature right and can't sleep hearing my breathing (not snoring). I know the book says it takes time, but just don't know if it is worth it when at this point I am getting nowhere and continued to be frustrated. I would note that for the better part of the past year I have been a downer about the relationship. She complained about that and I can understand that nobody wants to be with a downer. So I have turned that around and maintained a positive, upbeat attitude for the past two months (and have not brought up anything about the relationship). I don't think she is having an affair, but I don't trust her. I am finding myself slipping back into the downer state of mind. Any advice or suggestions? Am I kidding myself that things will/can get better? Would I be doing us both a favor by getting a divorce? We do have 2 children. She is a fine mother and I believe I am a good father.


----------



## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

I found MMSLP incomplete for a full relationship, though the MAP was helpful. I also followed "His Needs, Her Needs" and "The Five Love Languages". Together they were all very helpful. 

I wouldn't be able to live like that. Don't know how far apart you have drifted, how much resentment there is and if any of it can be repaired? 

Have you brought up divorce? 

Have you looked for evidence of another man?


----------

