# My Side



## Tellingmyside (Nov 29, 2017)

I recently found out that my husband has been paying the rent of another woman for the past couple months and has been buying her expensive gifts and that he went on a day trip to Chicago with this woman and he did this behind my back and yet he still thinks that he done nothing wrong and I'm just a crazy witch that needs to more appreciative of him and the things that he does for me. I can't believe that that actually thought that he learned something for his last experience with cheating and that I can't believe that I let him talk me into taking him back. I can't believe that I'm still with a man that thinks that giving me rock candy and a stress ball and giving my daughter a snow globe would actually make up for telling me about the trip last minute and lying about it. I just don't know why I should even stay with him anymore.


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## VermiciousKnid (Nov 14, 2017)

I read his whole story. He learned nothing from cheating on you the first time. What he's doing now with this other woman is also a form of cheating. If I were you I'd divorce him. Plain and simple. You, however, have to make that decision for yourself.


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## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

i am glad you found him posting here and it helped to open your eyes

now dump him



VermiciousKnid said:


> I read his whole story. He learned nothing from cheating on you the first time. What he's doing now with this other woman is also a form of cheating. If I were you I'd divorce him. Plain and simple. You, however, have to make that decision for yourself.


ain't no god damn way he ain't screwing her

and if the dude honestly never screwed her he's been buying **** to try to get in her pants.


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## Bonkers (Nov 26, 2017)

Tellingmyside said:


> I just don't know why I should even stay with him anymore.


I got nothing.


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

The sex must be off the charts!?!? Yeah? So, dig deep... tell us why do you keep him around? Someone would charge you over a $100/hour for this therapy!


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice... 

Probably past time to step away from this toxic loser once and for all.


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## Lukedog (Nov 18, 2015)

Seems to be spending more money on her than his own child. Depleting family finances. Emotional emptiness. 

Divorce and never Look back.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Tellingmyside said:


> I recently found out that my husband has been paying the rent of another woman for the past couple months and has been buying her expensive gifts and that he went on a day trip to Chicago with this woman and he did this behind my back and yet he still thinks that he done nothing wrong and I'm just a crazy witch that needs to more appreciative of him and the things that he does for me. I can't believe that that actually thought that he learned something for his last experience with cheating and that I can't believe that I let him talk me into taking him back. I can't believe that I'm still with a man that thinks that giving me rock candy and a stress ball and giving my daughter a snow globe would actually make up for telling me about the trip last minute and lying about it.* I just don't know why I should even stay with him anymore.*


Neither do we.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Tellingmyside said:


> I recently found out that my husband has been paying the rent of another woman for the past couple months and has been buying her expensive gifts and that he went on a day trip to Chicago with this woman and he did this behind my back and yet he still thinks that he done nothing wrong and I'm just a crazy witch that needs to more appreciative of him and the things that he does for me. I can't believe that that actually thought that he learned something for his last experience with cheating and that I can't believe that I let him talk me into taking him back. I can't believe that I'm still with a man that thinks that giving me rock candy and a stress ball and giving my daughter a snow globe would actually make up for telling me about the trip last minute and lying about it. *I just don't know why I should even stay with him anymore.*


I have nothing for you as the reasons to stay. You have given a gift to your H. It appears the gift not worthy enough.


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## 482 (Mar 14, 2017)

Tellingmyside said:


> I recently found out that my husband has been paying the rent of another woman for the past couple months and has been buying her expensive gifts and that he went on a day trip to Chicago with this woman and he did this behind my back and yet he still thinks that he done nothing wrong and I'm just a crazy witch that needs to more appreciative of him and the things that he does for me. I can't believe that that actually thought that he learned something for his last experience with cheating and that I can't believe that I let him talk me into taking him back. I can't believe that I'm still with a man that thinks that giving me rock candy and a stress ball and giving my daughter a snow globe would actually make up for telling me about the trip last minute and lying about it. I just don't know why I should even stay with him anymore.


I don't know why you should stay either. Are you ok with being cheated on over and over. I can tell you I would not be but this is your decision to make. Find your power. Know you deserve better.


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## VermiciousKnid (Nov 14, 2017)

toblerone said:


> i am glad you found him posting here and it helped to open your eyes
> 
> now dump him
> 
> ...


I agree 100% and told him so on his thread. If by some small miracle they're not screwing, no one on this earth will believe it anyway.


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

Tellingmyside said:


> I recently found out that my husband has been paying the rent of another woman for the past couple months and has been buying her expensive gifts and that he went on a day trip to Chicago with this woman and he did this behind my back and yet he still thinks that he done nothing wrong and I'm just a crazy witch that needs to more appreciative of him and the things that he does for me. I can't believe that that actually thought that he learned something for his last experience with cheating and that I can't believe that I let him talk me into taking him back. I can't believe that I'm still with a man that thinks that giving me rock candy and a stress ball and giving my daughter a snow globe would actually make up for telling me about the trip last minute and lying about it. I just don't know why I should even stay with him anymore.


You shouldn't. You deserve better. Now it's time to put that thought (you deserve better) into action. He's never going to change. How many chances to you think he needs?

Please take care of your child and divorce the other child!


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## pragmaticGoddess (Nov 29, 2017)

Let’s just remove whether or not he’s actually sleeping with her for a bit, what I can see that are symptoms of an unhealthy relationship is this: he is spending significant sums of money without your agreement, he is hiding this from you, he thinks it’s ok to hide this from you, he is doing this for a woman. 

He also thinks that spending a day with a woman is not crossing boundaries. From my point of view he does not respect you. He has to fix himself before he can be a decent husband to you.


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## Bonkers (Nov 26, 2017)

pragmaticGoddess said:


> Let’s just remove whether or not he’s actually sleeping with her for a bit


He already confessed to it.

The cheating is a far greater issue than the rest of it. 

I mean, they're all bad but you don't worry about an elephant stepping on your foot when there's a nuclear missile headed straight at your head.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*So his line of logic is that it’s perfectly OK to betray your spouse with another woman?

He needs to get a life!

You need to get a divorce!*


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## pragmaticGoddess (Nov 29, 2017)

Bonkers said:


> pragmaticGoddess said:
> 
> 
> > Let’s just remove whether or not he’s actually sleeping with her for a bit
> ...


I guess what I’m saying is that the elephant is a big enough warning sign, what more the missile. 
@Tellingmyside, you’re not actually giving up on this relationship, but your husband has run of chances. It was his choice to put your marriage at stake. It sounds like you need to take time to focus on working on yourself and you don’t need his mess distracting you from that.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Are you afraid to be on your own? Afraid to be a single parent? Worried about the financial part of being a single parent? 

Is this what is holding you there? You know he doesn't treasure you as his wife. He doesn't understand what being married is. He doesn't understand what being a husband is. He has no idea what integrity is. 

It's a long story, but I've "been there, done that". 23 years and 5 kids later....he walked out. He even said at that point "I never cheated on you." I told him that it didn't even matter at that point. It was a LOT easier to let him go than you'd think. Life got a whole lot easier. 

The thing that held me there so long, I just could not figure out how to house and feed these children on my own and I knew I could not trust him to help. So when he left, he did me a huge favor. He forced me to figure things out quick! I ended up with a roommate and her two kids...which wasn't optimal, but it made it doable. (Ex was self employed, easy to work for cash or not work if he didn't want to...so child support was a crap shoot.) 

My point is.... figure out what is holding you there. Not his awesome parenting. Not his character. So FIND A WAY to be on your own and make it work for you. Be strong, be a good role model for your child. Take charge of your life. Don't get sucked into his BS. Figure out a way to make things work for you .... without him.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Tellingmyside said:


> I recently found out that my husband has been paying the rent of another woman for the past couple months and has been buying her expensive gifts and that he went on a day trip to Chicago with this woman and he did this behind my back and yet he still thinks that he done nothing wrong and I'm just a crazy witch that needs to more appreciative of him and the things that he does for me. I can't believe that that actually thought that he learned something for his last experience with cheating and that I can't believe that I let him talk me into taking him back. I can't believe that I'm still with a man that thinks that giving me rock candy and a stress ball and giving my daughter a snow globe would actually make up for telling me about the trip last minute and lying about it. I just don't know why I should even stay with him anymore.


If you are married to the guy who posted on here the other day you may have read my response to him. I stand by it, the fact that he didn't know this would upset you says something is just now right there. I don't think he is capable of being married to anyone. 

Life will get better when you are not trying to make someone who is clearly not capable of being a good spouse into a good spouse. You have been working and impossible problem to fix. You can't make someone be faithful, you can't love them enough, or guard them enough. You just have to move on to find someone who has it in them.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Where is his post?


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## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/402977-big-deal-she-making.html


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Tellingmyside said:


> I recently found out that my husband has been paying the rent of another woman for the past couple months and has been buying her expensive gifts and that he went on a day trip to Chicago with this woman and he did this behind my back and yet he still thinks that he done nothing wrong and I'm just a crazy witch that needs to more appreciative of him and the things that he does for me. I can't believe that that actually thought that he learned something for his last experience with cheating and that I can't believe that I let him talk me into taking him back. I can't believe that I'm still with a man that thinks that giving me rock candy and a stress ball and giving my daughter a snow globe would actually make up for telling me about the trip last minute and lying about it. *I just don't know why I should even stay with him anymore.*


Yah. Me neither. Got support? Friends? Family? Counselor?


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## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

I hope this will be my last post on the subject:

I still can't get over the fact that the dude was so delusional that he tried to come here and attempt to use us as a way to help him explain away his infidelity.

OP, I'm glad you found this place. Please use the above paragraph as proof that he is beyond redemption and you should leave him if at all possible as soon as possible.


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## Tellingmyside (Nov 29, 2017)

NobodySpecial said:


> Yah. Me neither. Got support? Friends? Family? Counselor?


I have some friends and my family to support me through this and I'm going to schedule an appointment to get some counseling. I have already scheduled an appointment to see a lawyer because I have realized that my marriage is truly beyond saving.


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## Roselyn (Sep 19, 2010)

Tellingmyside said:


> I have some friends and my family to support me through this and I'm going to schedule an appointment to get some counseling. I have already scheduled an appointment to see a lawyer because I have realized that my marriage is truly beyond saving.


OP, I agree that your marriage is beyond saving. You are married for only two years. I have been married for 37 years (first marriage for the both of us). No one has cheated as neither of us will stay in that situation. Your husband has already cheated twice in your short marriage; first with your own sister and second with this ongoing affair with the so called friend. He is not marriage material and will continually cheat as he does not see that his affairs are wrong. He has no moral compass and has no respect for you nor has honor in his marriage vows. 

How old are you and how old is he? I know that you have a very young daughter together. So sorry that you are here.


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## Tellingmyside (Nov 29, 2017)

Roselyn said:


> How old are you and how old is he? I know that you have a very young daughter together. So sorry that you are here.


We are both 25 years old but he acts very childish. That is pretty much his deal is that he is the child that will never grow up.


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## Bonkers (Nov 26, 2017)

Tellingmyside said:


> We are both 25 years old but he acts very childish. That is pretty much his deal is that he is the child that will never grow up.


Your daughter has a brother not a father. 

I guess that's something.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Dump the chump.


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

Taurus94 said:


> she loves me and wants to make it for the sake of are daughter.





Tellingmyside said:


> he still wants to make are marriage work


 How people write, the choice of words, sentence structure, and writing errors, gives you insight into who wrote it. In this case Taurus94 (the husband), and Tellingmyside (the wife) write exactly the same (as if they were the same person) with both even making the same errors. For example in the examples above, Taurus94 incorrectly wrote “are daughter” instead of “our daughter “, and Tellingmyside incorrectly wrote “are marriage” instead of “our marriage”. In both cases “are” was incorrectly used instead of “our”. Just saying.


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## sandcastle (Sep 5, 2014)

Tellingmyside said:


> We are both 25 years old but he acts very childish. That is pretty much his deal is that he is the child that will never grow up.



Time for your 25 year old self and the mother of YOUR CHILD to DUMP BABY HUEY.


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## Bonkers (Nov 26, 2017)

TRy said:


> How people write, the choice of words, sentence structure, and writing errors, gives you insight into who wrote it. In this case Taurus94 (the husband), and Tellingmyside (the wife) write exactly the same (as if they were the same person) with both even making the same errors. For example in the examples above, Taurus94 incorrectly wrote “are daughter” instead of “our daughter “, and Tellingmyside incorrectly wrote “are marriage” instead of “our marriage”. In both cases “are” was incorrectly used instead of “our”. Just saying.


Don't jump to conclusions. 

They may have been raised in the same trailer park.


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## Rhubarb (Dec 1, 2017)

Tellingmyside said:


> I just don't know why I should even stay with him anymore.


Ok so take control and dump him. You can either continue to let him walk on you or you can do something about it. Maybe you're afraid of disrupting your life. That's natural. I was the same way, but the faster you get it started the faster it will be over-with and you can find someone better. 

I mean really he sounds like a nut job just based on HIS thread. Sometimes on forums you don't know if you are getting the full story because you are only getting one side of it. But in this case it's a slam dunk. You didn't even need to post "My Side" because his side is bad enough. It was so outrageous I was almost sure it was a troll.


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