# Please help me



## hlgrear (Jun 30, 2010)

Hi, I am a 34 year old mother of 2 girls, aged 3 and 4. My husband and I have been married for 5 years. I have a stepdaughter who is 14. My marriage is not working. A year ago, our marriage really started to break down. He annoyed me and I felt I was doing the bulk of the work with the kids. Financially, he was miserable to help out. Despite his attempts to show emotion or talk, I didn't want to. A month ago, I snooped and found dirty text messages on his blackberry between him and another woman. This was after we talked about our problems and agreed to work on them. I have asked him to leave but don't know if I really mean it. Does him leaving while we work on us just mean the end? He doesn't want to split and doesn't want to leave and is fighting it but I am so hurt and confused and angry.


----------



## 63Vino (Dec 23, 2009)

You cannot work on it while acting in anger at the same time.
Decide what you ultimately want and make sure that all you do is consistent with that. Doesnt mean you still cant decide to go in either direction... you just cant go in both at the same time.


----------



## hlgrear (Jun 30, 2010)

You are right. I can't act in anger. My initial reaction for him to leave has been building up for a while. I am so upset with everything but the hardest was the messages I read between him and someone else.


----------

