# Wife too close to my brother



## jjrr (Apr 13, 2017)

So my wife and I have been married for 5years now and we have in almost all respects a perfect marriage. A few months ago we moved in a few houses down to my brother (Married) and since then she has been growing extremely close to him. I usually don't get home until a couple of hours after my wife but my brother is so she normally goes over to his place now. They are now pretty much more than friends. They laugh, talk about everything. I get it they both have high powered jobs and similar pressures and interests but now they go out to movies together, have dinner and even when the whole family is together she is quite touchy. I know for sure there is no sexual activity but they do cuddle, hug and hold hands while alone together. They make no secret of how close they are at all. We had a party at my place where and when we all got into the hot tub, my wife got up close to him. My sister in law doesn't seem to care and has made no mention of anything to me. They are also both very happily married but she is away a lot. After the hot tub, my brother asked me if was uncomfortable and if he should stop being friends with my wife. I stupidly played it off cool but it does bother me, a lot. To mitigate this, I asked my wife if we could move to another town in the sense of new town new adventure, I also brought up the possibility of kids but this set her off saying I only care about myself and don't listen to her feelings.
I am feeling more and more pushed aside even though she hasn't changed towards me. I just don't know if I am being overzealous or should I be worried and should I bring it up if yes with which of them.


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## Imjustlearning (Feb 23, 2017)

You have quite a bit to worried about, that doesn't seem okay at all. 

Sent from my LG-H900 using Tapatalk


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Um say something.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Tell them BOTH to cut out the bull****.


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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

Stay confident in your own self worth.

Cuddle and hold hands while alone together?

Why would you be willing to share your spouse like that?


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Good!

I am the number one cannon blaster.

WTF! Change your tune............NOW!

Go over to your brothers and DEMAND that he no longer have ANY contact with your wife.

Your brother asked you if it was OK to be this close to your wife.

He KNOWS DAMN WELL that it is not. He is feeling a tinge of guilt....that is why he asked for your blessing.

He is also feeling a tinge of passionate shivers up and down his groin when he hugs your wife.



My take?

They have had sex....and HIS wife has joined in. A FMF threesome. 

UH, HUH..

You lost the race because you are asleep at the wheel.

Good luck trying to win any race with this co-driver wife of yours.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Double post.

The guy is so nervous he double posted his misery.

OR........


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## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

jjrr said:


> So my wife and I have been married for 5years now and we have in almost all respects a perfect marriage. A few months ago we moved in a few houses down to my brother (Married) and since then she has been growing extremely close to him. I usually don't get home until a couple of hours after my wife but my brother is so she normally goes over to his place now. They are now pretty much more than friends. They laugh, talk about everything. I get it they both have high powered jobs and similar pressures and interests but now they go out to movies together, have dinner and even when the whole family is together she is quite touchy. I know for sure there is no sexual activity but they do cuddle, hug and hold hands while alone together. They make no secret of how close they are at all. We had a party at my place where and when we all got into the hot tub, my wife got up close to him. My sister in law doesn't seem to care and has made no mention of anything to me. They are also both very happily married but she is away a lot.* After the hot tub, my brother asked me if was uncomfortable and if he should stop being friends with my wife. I stupidly played it off cool but it does bother me, a lot. To mitigate this, I asked my wife if we could move to another town in the sense of new town new adventure*, I also brought up the possibility of kids but this set her off saying I only care about myself and don't listen to her feelings.
> I am feeling more and more pushed aside even though she hasn't changed towards me. I just don't know if I am being over jealous or should I be worried and should I bring it up if yes with which of them.


Both of these were weak.

Should have been upfront with your brother. And your wife. A tad passive aggressive.

If it bothers you, and it should, say something. They are much too close. It will get ( more ) out of hand .


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Time for "Come to Jesus Meeting" with brother!

If that doesn't do any good, then you need to have a protracted meeting about this same subject matter with his old lady!

As is, you'd absolutely have a hell of a time convincing me that you brothers aren't already in the process of sharing!

One knowing ~ the other unknowing!*


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## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

jjrr said:


> So my wife and I have been married for 5years now and we have in almost all respects a perfect marriage. A few months ago we moved in a few houses down to my brother (Married) and since then she has been growing extremely close to him.* I usually don't get home until a couple of hours after my wife but my brother is so she normally goes over to his place now. *They are now pretty much more than friends. They laugh, talk about everything. I get it they both have high powered jobs and similar pressures and interests but now they *go out to movies together, have dinner *and even when the whole family is together she is quite touchy.* I know for sure there is no sexual activity but they do cuddle, hug and hold hands while alone together*. They make no secret of how close they are at all. We had a party at my place where and when we all got into the hot tub, my wife got up close to him. My sister in law doesn't seem to care and has made no mention of anything to me. They are also both very happily married but she is away a lot. After the hot tub, my brother asked me if was uncomfortable and if he should stop being friends with my wife. I stupidly played it off cool but it does bother me, a lot. To mitigate this, I asked my wife if we could move to another town in the sense of new town new adventure, I also brought up the possibility of kids but this set her off saying I only care about myself and don't listen to her feelings.
> I am feeling more and more pushed aside even though she hasn't changed towards me. I just don't know if I am being over jealous or should I be worried and should I bring it up if yes with which of them.


A second take:

They go on dates. Spend time alone. And , while alone, get physical.

And you say " we have in almost all respects a perfect marriage. " Maybe for her.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

* @MattMatt ~ please merge these two same threads into one! Thanks!*


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## Thomas Quinn (Jun 18, 2016)

Sigh...

Read this https://7chan.org/lit/src/Robert_Glover_-_No_More_Mr_Nice_Guy.pdf

And this https://www.amazon.com/Married-Man-Life-Primer-2011/dp/1460981731


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

I'm shocked at the ignorance on both sides of this...I'm sorry but cuddling and holding hands when alone??? Wtaf???

I wouldn't be trusting either of them ever again. 

Are there no limits to what some people do?? Carrying on like this with your brothers wife/husbands brother????


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## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

arbitrator said:


> *Time for "Come to Jesus Meeting" with brother!
> 
> If that doesn't do any good, then you need to have a protracted meeting about this same subject matter with his old lady!
> 
> ...


Arb, I think both know.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

So if your wife came over to my house every day and cuddled, I took her on dates, and she was all over me in the hot tub........
That would be ok with you?

Why do you say that you're positive they aren't having sex? Because if your story is legit, they are.
What, you have video cameras in every room of his house, or she wears a chastity belt? Why are you so sure? 

What's off limits to any other man should be off limits to your bro.
Nobody could be this weak.
I think......???


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## Thomas Quinn (Jun 18, 2016)

You have to set up multiple VARs in the house and one in her car... voice activated recorders that is Gus can give you info regarding cell phones but if you don't nut up and mate guard you are screwed.
Just sayin.:frown2:


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## Thomas Quinn (Jun 18, 2016)

Talk to your sister in law and have her set up cameras in their house and in yours something stinks here OR just tell her she is taking a polygraph and see her reaction and save some $$$.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

jjrr said:


> So my wife and I have been married for 5years now and we have in almost all respects a perfect marriage. A few months ago we moved in a few houses down to my brother (Married) and since then she has been growing extremely close to him. I usually don't get home until a couple of hours after my wife but my brother is so she normally goes over to his place now. They are now pretty much more than friends. They laugh, talk about everything. I get it they both have high powered jobs and similar pressures and interests but now they go out to movies together, have dinner and even when the whole family is together she is quite touchy. *I know for sure there is no sexual activity but they do cuddle, hug and hold hands while alone together. They make no secret of how close they are at all. We had a party at my place where and when we all got into the hot tub, my wife got up close to him. *My sister in law doesn't seem to care and has made no mention of anything to me. They are also both very happily married but she is away a lot. After the hot tub, my brother asked me if was uncomfortable and if he should stop being friends with my wife. I stupidly played it off cool but it does bother me, a lot. To mitigate this, I asked my wife if we could move to another town in the sense of new town new adventure, I also brought up the possibility of kids but this set her off saying I only care about myself and don't listen to her feelings.
> I am feeling more and more pushed aside even though she hasn't changed towards me. I just don't know if I am being over jealous or should I be worried and should I bring it up if yes with which of them.


Ignorance is bliss until it isn't. You don't know what the hell is going on if they are alone together. A pushover gets pushed over.

Your brother and your wife have no respect for you but what's worse is your lack of any common sense boundaries. 

You'd better wake the hell up and put your foot down.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Read it now !!!
https://7chan.org/lit/src/Robert_Glover_-_No_More_Mr_Nice_Guy.pdf


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## smi11ie (Apr 21, 2016)

It sounds like you are close with your brother. He even raised the issue with you when he asked you if you were uncomfortable. I would raise the issue with him. Ask him if they discuss your marraige? Ask him if they discuss your uncomfort with thier relationship. Tell your brother that this is upsetting you and ask him not to discuss it with your wife. If your wife comes to you after that then you know they discussed it.


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## Dan Moloney (Aug 9, 2016)

theres more going on than you know i think whats with the holding hand ,cinema and dinner thats called dating in my book you should of called it the first time they had any odd interaction with each other id be going out of my mind and certainly letting wife and brother know this is not only unacceptable its down right weird


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

jjrr said:


> So my wife and I have been married for 5years now and we have in almost all respects a perfect marriage. A few months ago we moved in a few houses down to my brother (Married) and since then she has been growing extremely close to him. I usually don't get home until a couple of hours after my wife but my brother is so she normally goes over to his place now. They are now pretty much more than friends. They laugh, talk about everything. I get it they both have high powered jobs and similar pressures and interests but now they go out to movies together, have dinner and even when the whole family is together she is quite touchy. I know for sure there is no sexual activity but they do cuddle, hug and hold hands while alone together. They make no secret of how close they are at all. We had a party at my place where and when we all got into the hot tub, my wife got up close to him. My sister in law doesn't seem to care and has made no mention of anything to me. They are also both very happily married but she is away a lot. After the hot tub, my brother asked me if was uncomfortable and if he should stop being friends with my wife. I stupidly played it off cool but it does bother me, a lot. To mitigate this, I asked my wife if we could move to another town in the sense of new town new adventure, I also brought up the possibility of kids but this set her off saying I only care about myself and don't listen to her feelings.
> I am feeling more and more pushed aside even though she hasn't changed towards me. I just don't know if I am being over jealous or should I be worried and should I bring it up if yes with which of them.


They are both behaving totally inappropriately. Talk to your brother and tell him to back off.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Well, whenever she gets "knocked-up," at least the kid will have some resemblance to your very own, at least per the DNA!

Reckoning that this would make the child, not only your stepchild, but your niece or nephew as well! 

So are they going to refer to you as "Daddy" or "Uncle?"

Ain't it simply blissful to keep it all in the family? And the kicker is that most of it's going on right before your very own eyes ~ and you're doing little to nothing about it!*


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Malaise said:


> Arb, I think both know.


* In total agreement, @Malaise ~ I was only trying to verbally "connect the dots," whereby he could make that gross and apparent realization for himself!*


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Dan Moloney said:


> theres more going on than you know i think whats with the holding hand ,cinema and dinner thats called dating in my book you should of called it the first time they had any odd interaction with each other id be going out of my mind and certainly letting wife and brother know this is not only unacceptable its down right weird


*And by helping the local economy out by using only local motel rooms!*


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

Like some of the others here I am trying to get a better understanding of your relationship with your brother.

Are the two of you close ? Is this your older or younger brother ? What is the age difference between the two of you ?


From what you have said there is a very high probability that they do much more than just holding hands when they are alone. This has almost certainly gone physical.


If you want to save your marriage this needs to be stopped and exposed! To your sister in law and to other members of the family. You need to man up and tell your brother to fvck off! And then be prepared to dump your "wife". This is not a marriage and you should thank your lucky stars that you don't have any kids with her yet. And move far far away from your brother - sounds like he is a [email protected] too!


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## jarhed (Nov 11, 2012)

Thomas Quinn said:


> You have to set up multiple VARs in the house and one in her car... voice activated recorders that is Gus can give you info regarding cell phones but if you don't nut up and mate guard you are screwed.
> Just sayin.:frown2:


YES - set up cams and VARs. See if In fact this is as innocent as you think. I would say it isn't - they are CUDDLING!? IN FRONT OF YOU!?


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

If they're openly affectionate in public and around family, you're being played for one, giant chump.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

jjrr said:


> I know for sure there is no sexual activity but they do cuddle, hug and hold hands while alone together.


Said EVERY betrayed spouse before they found out how *wrong *they were.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

My brother would be punched in the face............not like we haven't punched eachother before.

And my wife would be out the door!

Your brothers marriage is most likley in the crapper........and so is yours you just don't realise it yet.


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## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

Satya said:


> If they're openly affectionate in public and around family, you're being played for one, giant chump.


And when alone...?


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

chillymorn69 said:


> My brother would be punched in the face............not like we haven't punched eachother before.
> 
> And my wife would be out the door!
> 
> Your brothers marriage is most likley in the crapper........and so is yours you just don't realise it yet.


Actually, this is a good point OP. Have you ever punched or hit your brother before ? For what reason ? Is he a general [email protected] ?

And who do you think initiated or mainly drove this relationship at the beginning (not now) ? Your wife or your brother (pick one as the main driver at the start)?


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## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

OP 

Growing up did your brother intimidate you? Was he a bully? Or was he someone you looked up to? Was he popular and you weren't?

Did you defer to him ?

I ask because you said you ' stupidly played it off cool ' Were you trying to be cool like in high school? Trying to fit in?

You should think about that. You essentially, at that point, gave him your permission to continue.


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

Insist that it stop now, or your brother will be banging her before long. This wouldn't be the first time we heard this story here.


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## drifting on (Nov 22, 2013)

jjrr

After reading your post, a few things bother me that are obviously bothering you as well. I guess the obvious of time spent, cuddling and hugging is dangerous at best. The next problem is the emotional connection your wife has with your brother, but this still isn't the worst of your problems. The fact your brother came to you means he knows their relationship is wrong. The problem I see, is that you gave your brother the green light to continue inappropriate behavior even though your brother knows it is wrong. He will even tell your wife this and then your wife will see this as disrespect by you. I would say that you need to tell your wife that she have boundaries after two weeks of surveillance. But after the surveillance you'll be back here saying it's more then just cuddling.


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## TaDor (Dec 20, 2015)

Wouldn't be the first time a wife cheated on her husband with his brother. Sounds sexual already.


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## 23cm (Dec 3, 2016)

*Bible Story I Think*

I'm thinking Genesis 38:8

No kids?

Perhaps: "Then Judah said to Onan, "Sleep with your brother's wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to raise up offspring for your brother." :surprise:


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

chillymorn69 said:


> *My brother would be punched in the face.*...........not like we haven't punched eachother before.
> 
> And my wife would be out the door!
> 
> Your brothers marriage is most likley in the crapper........and so is yours you just don't realise it yet.


You Bet-Cha!

Brothers nose would be flattened.

From what? * A sucker punch.* You are the sucker here. Oh, and he will not press charges. At most you will have to pay for his medical bill.

Doing it in front of you? 

This is a poop test. Your wife wants:

You out of her life..

-or-

You to grow a set. 

Nah, she does not want you.... with or without a set of balls. She has washed her hands and her oyster of you!
She literally hates you, despises you for your weakness. There is no other explanation...other than she is [one sick witch].


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## ScottishGirl1998 (Dec 19, 2015)

There is no way that any of that behaviour is acceptable! You need to step up and tell her exactly how you feel and what you have observed, and that if the marriage is to continue she needs to back away from your brother. 

Obviously some contact is necessary but NOT to the point where he is basically a second husband. 

Moving to another town sounds like the easy solution, but at the end of the day if she does have a "thing" for him then she'll keep seeing him even if she has to drive miles. In fact, it could make them even closer.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Do things like this really happen?

Do men like you exist?

You have already lost.

I guess you could enjoy raising your brother's offspring with your wife??

What option does a man like you have???

You come off as a very weak wimp.

How did you possibly beat out other competitors to get her to date you in the first place?

I'm really flabbergasted you got her to marry you.

Do you have some mental/emotional instability concerning your brother?

My wife would not have started hanging out with my brother alone all the time, going on dates!??!!!! Seriously!!!!!!?????

You let her date your brother????

Cuddle time?

Sits next to him while you play with yourself and watch?

Hot tub fun while you watch???

Get real.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

jjrr.

Is this a hit and run? Bump our sensibilities and then sit back and cackle?

Please respond.


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## rockon (May 18, 2016)

ConanHub said:


> Get real.



At the risk of banning, it should read is this real.


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## ScottishGirl1998 (Dec 19, 2015)

ConanHub said:


> Do things like this really happen?
> 
> Do men like you exist?
> 
> ...


I gotta agree I'm afraid...


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

rockon said:


> At the risk of banning, it should read is this real.


I actually was not questioning the veracity of his post.

I was telling him to get real in his strange excuse for a life.

Unless he is a cuckold, and it sounds like he doesn't want to be, then he better grow a pair fast.


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

I think if I suddenly woke up in his shoes, I'd explode and probably do crazy things, beatdown(s) etc. 

But then again, it wouldn't get that far. How the **** does it get to that point before it almost becomes an issue, because let's face it, cuddling, hugging, holding hands, getting cozy in the hot tub......these are all WAY beyond too close. HOW!?!? 

The kicker for me is saying it doesn't bother him when his brother asked.


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## rockon (May 18, 2016)

ConanHub said:


> I actually was not questioning the veracity of his post.
> 
> I was telling him to get real in his strange excuse for a life.
> 
> Unless he is a cuckold, and it sounds like he doesn't want to be, then he better grow a pair fast.


Oh, I meant me getting the ban hammer for suggesting the validity of the thread.

I agree with everything you mentioned.


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## Mollymolz (Jan 12, 2017)

That's a very strange relationship between them 

Sent from my E6653 using Tapatalk


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

No, not if they are dating or in love.

Wrong when they are both in relathionships and he is the OPs brother, "strange" not at all.


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## Mollymolz (Jan 12, 2017)

phillybeffandswiss said:


> No, not if they are dating or in love.
> 
> Wrong when they are both in relathionships and he is the OPs brother, "strange" not at all.


You got me there 

Sent from my E6653 using Tapatalk


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## maritalloneliness (Mar 18, 2015)

If you are posting your concerns on an anonymous advice seeking site online, you're gut is already telling you something is wrong. Listen to your gut, if anything your wife is taking time away from you by sharing her time, feelings and hopes with your brother not you. Your brother already knows that this is inappropriate as he had to ask you if it was awkward that your wife cuddles up to him in the hot tub or your sister in law is checked out of her marriage that she doesn't care for your brother anymore. Listen to me as my husband cheated with my sister in law and I never thought that as a possibility so in hindsight I now know her wanting to spend time with me as a friend was her means of getting close to him. I was naive in my thinking that things like that doesn't happen in families. Boy, was I wrong. You need to talk to both of them but first to your brother. 

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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

jjrr said:


> So my wife and I have been married for 5years now and we have in almost all respects a perfect marriage. A few months ago we moved in a few houses down to my brother (Married) and since then she has been growing extremely close to him. I usually don't get home until a couple of hours after my wife but my brother is so she normally goes over to his place now. They are now pretty much more than friends. They laugh, talk about everything. I get it they both have high powered jobs and similar pressures and interests but now they go out to movies together, have dinner and even when the whole family is together she is quite touchy. I know for sure there is no sexual activity but they do cuddle, hug and hold hands while alone together. They make no secret of how close they are at all. We had a party at my place where and when we all got into the hot tub, my wife got up close to him. My sister in law doesn't seem to care and has made no mention of anything to me. They are also both very happily married but she is away a lot. After the hot tub, my brother asked me if was uncomfortable and if he should stop being friends with my wife. I stupidly played it off cool but it does bother me, a lot. To mitigate this, I asked my wife if we could move to another town in the sense of new town new adventure, I also brought up the possibility of kids but this set her off saying I only care about myself and don't listen to her feelings.
> I am feeling more and more pushed aside even though she hasn't changed towards me. I just don't know if I am being overzealous or should I be worried and should I bring it up if yes with which of them.


If you're a real person and not here trying to elicit WTF responses then you really need to find a marriage counselor and tell her/him what you told us in this opening comment. It's bizarre for a brother to act like this toward your wife and it's bizarre for her to act like this toward him and it's bizarre for you to need to ask if it's messed up or not.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

Well, assuming that this is real...

Ha, as if. 

Sent from my LG-US996 using Tapatalk


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

Fascinating


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

This happened to a friend of mine. Her husband and her SIL (husband's brother's wife) had an affair, divorced and married each other. It was devastating for her and the kids.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Malaise said:


> And when alone...?


*I think that you can bet your sweet a$$ that they're probably doing just a tad more than French kissing!*


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Oh for the love of ......


I'm not even going to waste my time.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Is this what's called brotherly love?


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## rockon (May 18, 2016)

soccermom2three said:


> This happened to a friend of mine. Her husband and her SIL (husband's brother's wife) had an affair, divorced and married each other. It was devastating for her and the kids.


Family get togethers must be, um........interesting.


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## ScottishGirl1998 (Dec 19, 2015)

rockon said:


> Family get togethers must be, um........interesting.


I think I know what you're thinking...

No response from the OP, so we can assume he is either too ashamed to reply or was never being genuine to begin with.


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