# Husband talking to other girls dont know how to confront him



## sos212 (Nov 5, 2015)

I have being married almost a year now and i recently found out my husbands password and went through his phone. He has been messaging alot of other girls in a none friend way. Sending pictures of himself, saying that he wants to meet up with them, good morning text messages, girls saying there going to drive 2 hours to meet up with him.He has been on dating websites and getting girls numbers,he tells them lies. He lies when i ask why he gets on the sites he says he just wants to have friends and that he likes talking to people and that he never gets out the house. When he was going out it was going out late at night drinking with girls he says are just friends. Hes always on his phone and tries to hide when hes texting. He tells me hes going on a walk and hes on the phone. I just feel very hurt and disrespected But i dont know how to confront him about me going through his phone because hes a bite of a hot head and at this point i dont know what i should do......


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

I think you need to document what you have found on the phone (screen shots sent to yourself) and just tell him what you saw and that you will not tolerate it any longer. You're just married and hopefully you don't have any children yet, this way could send him a strong message by leaving (or throwing him out) if you want to, and you can do so easily. This behavior is unacceptable for any time in a relationship, but you guys are newlyweds, it's just absurd. This does not bode well for your future. Draw the line in the sand now and end it. If he doesn't cooperate, be grateful it happened this early on and you can move on easily if he continues to behave like an ass.


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## sos212 (Nov 5, 2015)

We have a son and think thats why its so hard for me to leave


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I'm sorry that you are going through this. He's cheating. That's very clear.

How long did you date him before you married him?

How old are the two of you? 

Do you have children? 

If so how old are your children?

The first thing you need to do is to get evidence of what he is really doing. Get copies of the things that are on his phone, the text messages and photos. There are 2 ways that you can do this.

1) is to put his open up messages & photos and put his phone on a copies or scanner. That way tis' clear that they are on his phone.

2) or you can use your phone to take pictures of the stuff on his phone.

There is a 3rd way but it entails downloading messages and photos from his phone. If you want to do that I can point you to a thread that tell you how to do this depending on the phone he has.

Do not talk to him about this again until you have the evidence captured and you have a plan.

Are you considering leaving him?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

If he's out late drinking w/ these women then you can bet that he's doing a helluva lot more than just talking to them.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

He can't stay faithfully married even for a year? I wouldn't even bother trying to confront him or rehabilitate him. He'd be gone. What would be the point of confronting him? You already know he's being deceptive about his contact with other women. Hopefully there are no kids involved. Ditch him and try to figure out what went wrong in your selection process so you don't pick another uncommitted, disloyal man. Where there is no trust there can be no love. He's married but he goes to the trouble of getting a password and getting on a dating site. When caught, he says it's innocent. Here's the deal. If I'm the game warden and you're sitting on the bank with a pole in your hand, your line in the water, and bait on your hook, you're fishing. Don't give a damn what lame explanation you might give me for your behavior.


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

sos212 said:


> We have a son and think thats why its so hard for me to leave


That does complicate this for you but it still doesn't mean that you should except this behavior or that you shouldn't take a hard line on this behavior. If you let this go now, you are setting a bad precedent for the future; you run the risk of becoming a doormat.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

sos212 said:


> We have a son and think thats why its so hard for me to leave


How old is your son?

I have no doubt that having a son with him makes it much harder for you to leave him. And he knows that. So he thinks he has you and can do whatever he wants. 

Have you told anyone else what's going on?


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## dignityhonorpride (Jan 2, 2014)

I think unfortunately it's likely time for you to start making exit plans. *He* has the nerve to act like a hothead when he is obviously cheating? That's unacceptable. You don't want to model this as a normal marriage for your son. Nor should you have to put up with this type of treatment. You really need to turn the tables on him; he should be trying to make things right with you, he should be afraid you will leave. Right now that's all backwards. Stop chasing him. Do the 180-- do your own thing, have your own full happy life without involving him. Do not engage. Do you work? If not, can you at least get a part time job or go back to school (either college or trade school)? Time to take back your power.

I'm so sorry you're in this position.


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

sos212 said:


> But i dont know how to confront him about me going through his phone because hes a bite of a hot head and at this point i dont know what i should do......


Bit of a hothead, eh? Don't confront him, just serve him divorce papers. Like @unbelievable stated...He didn't even make it a year? Hell, my sordid past is laced with failed relationships/marriages and a helluva lot of partners, but even I would typically make it 6-7 years before I would stray.

I sought help for my issues and am active in my therapy...your husband on the other hand is obfuscating and deflecting...not a good sign. Serve him papers and see if he changes his tune. If he does, then it is your decision to either follow through with the divorce, or forgive him (only if he exhibits true remorse and a willingness to seek help) and reconcile.

My wife and I chose to remain together and reconcile, but I also *NEVER* protested any of the demands she placed on me regarding transparency...not *EVER*.

Good luck.


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## sos212 (Nov 5, 2015)

EleGirl said:


> sos212 said:
> 
> 
> > We have a son and think thats why its so hard for me to leave
> ...


Hes 10 months and ive talked to some friends about it


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

sos212 said:


> Hes 10 months and ive talked to some friends about it


What do they say about this?

Will they be much emotional support for you through this?

Do you have a job?


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## amber74747474 (Oct 24, 2015)

sos212 said:


> I have being married almost a year now and i recently found out my husbands password and went through his phone. He has been messaging alot of other girls in a none friend way. Sending pictures of himself, saying that he wants to meet up with them, good morning text messages, girls saying there going to drive 2 hours to meet up with him.He has been on dating websites and getting girls numbers,he tells them lies. He lies when i ask why he gets on the sites he says he just wants to have friends and that he likes talking to people and that he never gets out the house. When he was going out it was going out late at night drinking with girls he says are just friends. Hes always on his phone and tries to hide when hes texting. He tells me hes going on a walk and hes on the phone. I just feel very hurt and disrespected But i dont know how to confront him about me going through his phone because hes a bite of a hot head and at this point i dont know what i should do......


You are a good women you should set terms and rules in a relationship.A certain standard your man should have to meet. If he does not,then tell him about how you feel. If he gets angry and dosent want to deal with it, he is hidding something, and is Not the man you need in your life. Remember its your life you deserve the best and you have a choice in dealing with this man. Choose to be happy.


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## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)

Make sure you save all the evidence before confronting him.


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## amber74747474 (Oct 24, 2015)

If he felt bad for this he wouldn't do it or continue to do it


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

amber74747474 said:


> If he felt bad for this he wouldn't do it or continue to do it


Correct.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## amber74747474 (Oct 24, 2015)

Get out while your son's young .If you stay and your kid grows up around him he will be attached and it will hurt not just you but it will hurt your son when or if you finally do decide to leave.


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## jdawg2015 (Feb 12, 2015)

Decide how long you want to live always not able to trust him?

He'll burn you over and over. Not even a year?

Please do yourself and your son a favor and get out before you have years invested in this. As painful as it may be, in the end this guy is never going to be faithful too you. When you have a toddler, those are usually bonding years and raising a child makes you focus on each other and the family.

He's a married guy who wants to be single.


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