# Husband keeps threatening, never goes through....



## muchoconfuso (Sep 22, 2012)

So, throughout my 6 yrs of marriage my husband has threatened divorce so many times that I can't even count. He has never gone through with any threat. 
We separated once a few years ago, and ended up getting back together and things were much improved for awhile. 
Things began to fall back into the old patterns, and here I am again. 
He's threatened divorce this morning. He said, "We are getting divorced". Then he walked out the door.(He's blaming my wknd behavior for this(there's another thread on that). But I know that the events of the weekend are not what broke this marriage. I'm not sure he will go through with anything. But I'm not sure I can take anymore. 
He has some health problems, so, I keep telling myself that I took vows to stay in sickness and health. Problem is, I don't feel loved, honored or cherished. 
For some reason I don't feel like divorce is okay. I don't want to fail. But I also don't want to be miserable anymore. 

Should I stay or should I just go? Maybe I should just wait and see if he files? Or maybe I should just do this on my own? 
I am so confused. Any advice will help. 
Thanks, muchoconfuso


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## muchoconfuso (Sep 22, 2012)

And the more I think about this. I realize that this is not an emergency. It's just something I need to kinda be ready for. I think, at this point, I need to be ready to go on my own, and come to some amicable agreement with this man I've married. I have to quit labeling myself a failure for the my marriage ending.


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## Acorn (Dec 16, 2010)

Next time he says you guys should get divorced, tell him you agree and you'll contact an attorney.

He might try to call your bluff, but the first visit is usually free.

What you do with it from there is your call, but he's used to steamrolling you and this should get his attention a little bit. Threatening you like that all the time is abusive. You shouldn't have to put up with that in a marriage.


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## Bee2012 (Dec 8, 2012)

I agree! My h kept saying that too. Now we really are getting a d thanks to me!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ItsGonnabeAlright (Nov 19, 2012)

Go file for divorce yourself, stop putting up with his crap. Cherish yourself, and then find someone else you can stand, and can see yourself being with for the rest of your life.


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## outNabout (Mar 2, 2013)

"For some reason I don't feel like divorce is okay. I don't want to fail. But I also don't want to be miserable anymore. "

Maybe it has something to do with how we were raised. I was raised with the whole marriage is sacred thing. And you try to make it work. Feelings of 'good times' and 'bad times' can come and go, and I certainly don't want to just change partners like the weather. But I've been at this for years and had some good times too... but perhaps at some point you realize that you've had enough and you reach a point where you realize it's not worth it to watch your life pass you by while you sacrifice continually for someone who is continually using you? 

My wife keeps walking out and playing a similar game. And I wonder if these kinds of people really do want it to end, they just don't know how and it's easier for them to stay and continue old patterns.


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## gettingout (Jan 15, 2013)

My H has been playing similar games for years and I finally called his bluff. 
I say go for it. Time to be happy.


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## mel123 (Aug 4, 2012)

From another post, you said you were intoxicated and threatened him.
That doesn't help matters.

Get some IC & also MC then stay away from the alcohol. Alcohol just magnifies your problems.


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## JillsJourney (Feb 23, 2013)

Have you both tried MC? It's not uncommon for people to say they want a divorce when they are upset. It is almost like the childish saying of "we're not friends anymore" just on a larger scale. If you want to stay married to this man, I would advise MC. If you are wanting to get divorced, I would advise you retain a lawyer.


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