# Sulking husbands



## fee

Does anyone out there have any advice about how to deal with a sulking husband???!!!
My husband is the worst sulker I've ever known! He gets cross about something, and then doesn't speak to me for days at a time. Half the time I have no clue what it is I'm supposed to have done. Even if I realise, and admit I'm in the wrong and apologise, he sulks. Once he went for almost 2 weeks, barely speaking to me, unless absolutely necessary.
I've tried groveling and apologising repeatedly, even when I know I haven't done anything wrong. I've tried confronting him, making him tell me the problem so we can sort it out. I've tried ignoring him back. 
He eventually gets over it, but it's only a matter of time till it happens again.
We have just immigrated from our home country, and I am completely out of my depth. He works all day, I don't have a job yet, I don't know anyone, and he is in a fat sulk, about.... well I haven't a clue really....
I'm really starting to wander if it's worth hanging around...


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## artieb

You might like Dale Carnegie's _How To Win Friends And Influence People_.

One really important bit is to really listen to people; really listen to what your husband is saying before he starts sulking. Afterwards, see if you can figure out what went wrong with the exchange, and what you could have done differently.

Read the whole book, though. Really.

As to specifics: he's probably sulking because he doesn't feel like he has a complete identity. He's been uprooted, may not like his job much, and he probably doesn't know anyone either. He may have regrets about the move. He may sulk as an alternative to dumping his doubts and worries on you; doing that is a mistake, but it's not unheard of.


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## Blanca

i think you should tell him how his behavior is affecting you. Let him know he's pushing you away. 

After that, just try and ignore him when he's like that. he's unbelievably immature.


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## Atholk

Well honestly I turn sulky myself sometimes. Not as bad as it sounds like your husband is, but it's there nevertheless. The funny thing is that I am quite aware of the sulk, I know when I'm in the sulk that it's really not helping, but it's so hard to break it.

Honestly the best thing for breaking me out of a sulk is to just climb on top of me naked and start kissing me all over and have sex with me. It reconnects me very quickly. Not sure it works for all men, but does for me. I have a sulk episode maybe once a year.


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## Holding Pattern

Same thing you would do with a child... don't reward it. Don't notice it. Continue talking to him as if nothing had happened. Kill him with cheer & kindness.
It's a childish behavior and it has to be handled as such.
If he wins and makes DAYS miserable then he wins... don't let that happen.


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## dawnie

I'm with Star. Manipulation. Passive aggressiveness. 

Did your parents put up with your sulking, spoiled brat behavior when you were a young child? Not likely. Why is it any different because he's an (immature) adult?


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## okeydokie

has he had a check-up lately. blood sugar flucuation (as in type 2 diabetes) and many other undiagnosed ailments can also contribute to or even cause this behavior. he may just be a big baby too.


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## kallywana

My husband is a great sulker. l feel so terrible because he brought me to Europe and l do not have friends because l am a sit at home mum. At first, l cannot eat or be myself when he does that even he is at fault, l will beg and ask him to forgive me. l am used to it now.He has been on it now for 5days because we has an argument outside our home. He does not tell where he is going or talk apart from greetings if he desires, the first 2 days if l ask him if he l should dish out his food, he will say later and he get the food himself. I thank God for my wonderful daughter who loves me unconditional. lf he refuses to eat because he is sulking l make yummy food for myself and my daughter. As for my husband, he can sulk for ages, that is his problem.


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## lovemybabies

its textbook emotional blackmail. And he will continue to do it because it works for him. He does it because you cave and apologize etc and he gets what he wants.

Emotional Blackmail by Susan Forward is a great book


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## okeydokie

i originally posted on this thread almost two years ago. i have a different opinion today. i believe my wife would tell you that i am sulking right now, but i assure you there is alot more to it. i have realized that my wife has lost respect for me because she simply will not meet me halfway to repair the damage in this marriage. in turne i have built up alot of resentment and also now realize i have lost respect for her because of her issues she will not attend to. i see her as weak and helpless which is not something i can live with.

my reaction to all of this is a really dont like her enough to speak with her much anymore. i am not willing to listen to anything other than things involving the kids and that needs to be brief and to the point. i would not dismiss quiet as sulking, may be alot more to it.


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## AgentD

fee said:


> Does anyone out there have any advice about how to deal with a sulking husband???!!!
> My husband is the worst sulker I've ever known! He gets cross about something, and then doesn't speak to me for days at a time. Half the time I have no clue what it is I'm supposed to have done. Even if I realise, and admit I'm in the wrong and apologise, he sulks. Once he went for almost 2 weeks, barely speaking to me, unless absolutely necessary.
> I've tried groveling and apologising repeatedly, even when I know I haven't done anything wrong. I've tried confronting him, making him tell me the problem so we can sort it out. I've tried ignoring him back.
> He eventually gets over it, but it's only a matter of time till it happens again.
> We have just immigrated from our home country, and I am completely out of my depth. He works all day, I don't have a job yet, I don't know anyone, and he is in a fat sulk, about.... well I haven't a clue really....
> I'm really starting to wander if it's worth hanging around...


I used to feel the same way. He would sulk, and I was left with wondering why. He still sulks to this day, 17 years later. Its a learned behavior. Its a type of passive/aggressiveness. More than likely comes from poor coping and communication skills. Plus it can be an attention seeking type of behavior as well. He can unlearn that if he wants. However, if he keeps doing it, its more than likely because he is getting a pay off from it. 

Even though my husband still sulks, It used to bother me. Now I ignore it, and chalk it up to learned family dysfunction. He is grown and he can choose to continue on or not. I choose to not longer acknowledge it and go about my business.


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## Jamison

Its a form of control, and yes probably a learned behavior. Since you can't do much about how he chooses to act/react to things. You can do something about how you react when he gets like that. You could try, when he acts like that, tell him in a nice manner, "I'm sorry you're choosing to act like a child today. Maybe we can talk later when you feel better." Then just walk away. Or you could ignore it all together until it blows over. You should stop apologizing too. Thats pointless if you have done nothing wrong.


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## charlene

My kind of thread! So, my husband sulks for about 2-5 days every month or twice a month...it's a rule! So apparently i don't know how to deal with it. Actually He has to deal with it! You only have to learn a healthy way to react on it... and that it the way most of the people told you. Don't give him what he hasn't even asked for ... If you tolerate it it''ll get worse /""...He still sulks to this day, 17 years later...""/ 
Honestly i hope i find a way to break it when it happens. And i know sex helps ,but that shouldn't be the way!


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## CallaLily

Ha! There is no way I would give my husband (if I were married) or b/f some sex if he was being a sulky baby! To me thats like giving a kid candy as a reward for negative behavior. 

Here hun, go ahead and have some puss puss even though you're acting like an idiot.  That way next time you act like a sulky baby you will expect it again to help pull you out of your mood. Therefore they would never learn how to deal with life when it gets them down.


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## accept

All of you saying you dont know why he sulks. I am not sure thats exactly true. Most likely after such a long time and so many years you have a fair idea.
There is an arab saying beat your wife daily, even if you dont know why she will.


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## okeydokie

CallaLily said:


> Ha! There is no way I would give my husband (if I were married) or b/f some sex if he was being a sulky baby! To me thats like giving a kid candy as a reward for negative behavior.
> 
> Here hun, go ahead and have some puss puss even though you're acting like an idiot.  That way next time you act like a sulky baby you will expect it again to help pull you out of your mood. Therefore they would never learn how to deal with life when it gets them down.


wel lack of what you describe can also be a cause of husbands shut down. why is this different than the emotional attacks men come under fire with from their wives at any given time? its not. neither is healthy for the relationship. i dont "give in" to my wife when she acts like a putz either. it just adds to the continuing damage


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## CallaLily

okeydokie said:


> wel lack of what you describe can also be a cause of husbands shut down. why is this different than the emotional attacks men come under fire with from their wives at any given time? its not. neither is healthy for the relationship. i dont "give in" to my wife when she acts like a putz either. it just adds to the continuing damage


Yes, there may be some men who sulk due to lack of sex in the first place. I'm talking about based on men who sulk in general due to not knowing how to deal with life or who have no communication skills and therefore shut down because they don't know how to do anything else but pout to get their way. 

And yes, the same can be said for women who might sulk or do whatever they do. Bottom line, if a woman gives her man some sex to get him get out of his sulky baby mood, and it works for them then thats fine, people need to do what works best for them. I'm just saying I wouldn't.


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## charlene

accept said:


> All of you saying you dont know why he sulks. I am not sure thats exactly true. Most likely after such a long time and so many years you have a fair idea.
> There is an arab saying beat your wife daily, even if you dont know why she will.


How wise ?!?
No one is saying we don't know why ,We''re saying we don't know how to deal with ....Actually i Don't care why anymore. That''s what it makes me ,not to care why


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## accept

No one is saying we don't know why
from charlene

Half the time I have no clue what it is I'm supposed to have done.

From the original post!


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## Jellybeans

This thread is nearly two years old...

I was married to a champion sulker. Unless you have lived with one, you can't fathom how destructive this behavior is. It's used as a form of control/manipulation and when done habitually, it IS emotional blackmail. 

There is nothing else that my ex did that made me feel as bad as his sulking. He could go for WEEKS without saying a single word to me, despite me asking what as wrong, telling him I had a problem with the behavior, how it was effecting our marriage adversely. 

The day I left, he hadn't spoken a word to me in about a month and a half. I decided I did not want to live that way. There were days I did not even want to come home after work. Dead silence in my house. It makes you feel like a ghost, like you don't matter, like you aren't deserving of the human basic decency of WORDS/conversation/being spoken to by your significant other. 

Awful. Truly awful.


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## okeydokie

men aren't women. we arent necessarily going to run to you to chat out all the problems. fact is i actually tried that, laid out all my issues and nothing has changed for the past 3 years. its lack of respect from her that has me shut down. nobody can continue destructive behavior and expect the other not to react.

(not suggesting that the OP has contributed to the husband shutting down, dont know enough of the story)


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## CallaLily

Jellybeans said:


> This thread is nearly two years old...
> 
> I was married to a champion sulker. Unless you have lived with one, you can't fathom how destructive this behavior is. It's used as a form of control/manipulation and when done habitually, it IS emotional blackmail.
> 
> There is nothing else that my ex did that made me feel as bad as his sulking. He could go for WEEKS without saying a single word to me, despite me asking what as wrong, telling him I had a problem with the behavior, hwo it was effecting our marriage adversely.
> 
> The day I left, he hadn't spoken a worod to me in about a month and a half. I decided I did not want to live that way. There were days I did not even want to come home after work. Dead silence in my house. It makes you feel like a ghost, like you don't matter, like you aren't deserving of the human basic decency of WORDS/conversation by your significant other.
> 
> Awful. Truly awful.


I'm so sorry that happened to you, how terrible!  Glad you have since moved on though. 

Doh! once again I'm bad about not checking the date of threads, lol


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## Jellybeans

^ Yeah it sucked bad. But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger 

Hehe it wasn't you that necro'ed this thread, it was someone else. Love your monkey/coffee avatar!


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## cloudwithleggs

Jellybeans said:


> This thread is nearly two years old...
> 
> I was married to a champion sulker. Unless you have lived with one, you can't fathom how destructive this behavior is. It's used as a form of control/manipulation and when done habitually, it IS emotional blackmail.
> 
> There is nothing else that my ex did that made me feel as bad as his sulking. He could go for WEEKS without saying a single word to me, despite me asking what as wrong, telling him I had a problem with the behavior, how it was effecting our marriage adversely.
> 
> The day I left, he hadn't spoken a word to me in about a month and a half. I decided I did not want to live that way. There were days I did not even want to come home after work. Dead silence in my house. It makes you feel like a ghost, like you don't matter, like you aren't deserving of the human basic decency of WORDS/conversation/being spoken to by your significant other.
> 
> Awful. Truly awful.


yes it is my husband is one also , I just ignore him back.

he is sulking at present because I used porn can you belive that. :scratchhead:


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## EleGirl

accept said:


> All of you saying you dont know why he sulks. I am not sure thats exactly true. Most likely after such a long time and so many years you have a fair idea.
> There is an arab saying beat your wife daily, even if you dont know why she will.


:scratchhead: Why are you posting here? :scratchhead:

Do you really think that telling people it's ok for a man to lie to his wife as long as she does not not find out is good marriage advise? And now this 'joke'?


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## EleGirl

okeydokie said:


> i originally posted on this thread almost two years ago. i have a different opinion today. i believe my wife would tell you that i am sulking right now, but i assure you there is alot more to it. i have realized that my wife has lost respect for me because she simply will not meet me halfway to repair the damage in this marriage. in turne i have built up alot of resentment and also now realize i have lost respect for her because of her issues she will not attend to. i see her as weak and helpless which is not something i can live with.
> 
> my reaction to all of this is a really dont like her enough to speak with her much anymore. i am not willing to listen to anything other than things involving the kids and that needs to be brief and to the point. i would not dismiss quiet as sulking, may be alot more to it.


So what exactly does she do that deserves you speaking in such a harsh way about her? What issues does she not attend to. And why are you still with a woman who you dislike so intensly?


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## Heather858

Well honestly I turn sulky myself sometimes. Not as bad as it sounds like your husband is, but it's there nevertheless. The funny thing is that I am quite aware of the sulk, I know when I'm in the sulk that it's really not helping, but it's so hard to break it.

Honestly the best thing for breaking me out of a sulk is to just climb on top of me naked and start kissing me all over and have sex with me. It reconnects me very quickly. Not sure it works for all men, but does for me. I have a sulk episode maybe once a year.


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## accept

*Why are you posting here? 

Do you really think that telling people it's ok for a man to lie to his wife as long as she does not not find out is good marriage advise? And now this 'joke'?*
That was from another thread. We seem to be following each other. But you may be having the perfect marriage please realise that others including myself dont. One therefore instead of divorce the easy way out, have to make the most and the best job of it. I ought to be asking you (with the perfect marriage) why you are posting here. Its all very good advising everyone how the perfect marriage like yours should be and you are of course right in every detail but it just doesnt work out for everyone. One therefore has to make do with advice which at least will keep the marriage intact which is what I set out to do, and that is why I am posting here. I may add it usually improves with time as people get older. One has to loosen up a bit and appreciate a joke as well. 
Here is another arab saying beat your carpet, donkey and wife daily! No I am not an arab.


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## charlene

accept said:


> No one is saying we don't know why
> from charlene
> 
> Half the time I have no clue what it is I'm supposed to have done.
> 
> From the original post!


Whatever dude, you said the sexist joke!


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## Jellybeans

accept said:


> All of you saying you dont know why he sulks. I am not sure thats exactly true. Most likely after such a long time and so many years you have a fair idea.
> *There is an arab saying beat your wife daily, even if you dont know why she will*.


Yes, because *beating your wife * is the answer. 

What awful awful advice.


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## ryansdad

My wife and I have been married 12years, together for 15 and I 2 am guilty of sulking occasionally. We generally have sex.3-4x per week, and when that's going good, then I do not get quiet or "sulk". However, if 4 whatever reason we haven't had sex and its been 5 or 6 days, then I will get quiet and withdrawn. Its not bcause I want 2 intentionally act like a baby. I think it has more 2 do with I need that to feel "connected" both physically and emotionally 2 her. And after we do get time to be alone and intimate, I feel connected immediately and things r back 2 normal.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## charlene

hmmmm Now i see... i always knew it has somethings to do with that. But actually it's not the sex, it's you!/ non judjmental/


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## kallywana

ryansdad said:


> My wife and I have been married 12years, together for 15 and I 2 am guilty of sulking occasionally. We generally have sex.3-4x per week, and when that's going good, then I do not get quiet or "sulk". However, if 4 whatever reason we haven't had sex and its been 5 or 6 days, then I will get quiet and withdrawn. Its not bcause I want 2 intentionally act like a baby. I think it has more 2 do with I need that to feel "connected" both physically and emotionally 2 her. And after we do get time to be alone and intimate, I feel connected immediately and things r back 2 normal.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Ryansdad, why don't you tell your wife that you want more sex instead of sulking. You are lucky (lol) because if l happen to be your wife, you will sulk forever. Communication is the key to a successful marriage. Let her how you feel and how you want sex.


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## FirstYearDown

accept said:


> *Why are you posting here?
> 
> Do you really think that telling people it's ok for a man to lie to his wife as long as she does not not find out is good marriage advise? And now this 'joke'?*
> That was from another thread. We seem to be following each other. But you may be having the perfect marriage please realise that others including myself dont. One therefore instead of divorce the easy way out, have to make the most and the best job of it. I ought to be asking you (with the perfect marriage) why you are posting here. Its all very good advising everyone how the perfect marriage like yours should be and you are of course right in every detail but it just doesnt work out for everyone. One therefore has to make do with advice which at least will keep the marriage intact which is what I set out to do, and that is why I am posting here. I may add it usually improves with time as people get older. One has to loosen up a bit and appreciate a joke as well.
> Here is another arab saying beat your carpet, donkey and wife daily! No I am not an arab.


Divorce is never easy, my friend.


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## ryansdad

kallywana said:


> Ryansdad, why don't you tell your wife that you want more sex instead of sulking. You are lucky (lol) because if l happen to be your wife, you will sulk forever. Communication is the key to a successful marriage. Let her how you feel and how you want sex.


I guess I wasn't clear in my response. I do communicate with her and after making my needs clear, if we still havent gotten together, then i will start feeling like a lower priority and disconnected. And now that we have a 2year old, i cant just take her netime and initiate sex which is what i did in the past. I also injured my lower back and had a fusion last july which got a staph infection so they had to take everything out, wait until that healed, and re-do it. So i am on disability and am home with our son while she works. And because of 3 surgeries in 8 months, I have to sleep on a recliner right now not in our bed. So, I am happy overall with the amount of sex we generally have as 3-5x a week is all i can handle with my back right now. lol. That being said, if our sons been sick or shes been super busy at work and tired and its been a few days w/o any sex and then we have talked about it and still nothing after a couple days is when i'll feel disconnected and keep to myself and be quiet.


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## EleGirl

ryansdad said:


> I guess I wasn't clear in my response. I do communicate with her and after making my needs clear, if we still havent gotten together, then i will start feeling like a lower priority and disconnected. And now that we have a 2year old, i cant just take her netime and initiate sex which is what i did in the past. I also injured my lower back and had a fusion last july which got a staph infection so they had to take everything out, wait until that healed, and re-do it. So i am on disability and am home with our son while she works. And because of 3 surgeries in 8 months, I have to sleep on a recliner right now not in our bed.


Get a double recliner so she can at least snuggle with you.


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## ryansdad

EleGirl said:


> Get a double recliner so she can at least snuggle with you.


:lol: Yeah, her being affectionate isn't a problem at all. We have been together 15yrs now, and i still think she is beautiful and as sexy now if not sexier than b4. And she makes sure to hug and kiss me and grab my butt throughout the day everyday. Its when life gets too busy and we haven't been intimate in a few days is when i will feel disconnected and a lower priority. Also, since my surgeries and infection and being the primary caregiver for our son, my testosterone is low so i am a lot more sensitive than I ever was in the past. We joke about that all the time. I am trying to get my testosterone levels fixed now. I posted a thread about that in mens clubhouse.


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## EleGirl

ryansdad said:


> :lol: Yeah, her being affectionate isn't a problem at all. We have been together 15yrs now, and i still think she is beautiful and as sexy now if not sexier than b4. And she makes sure to hug and kiss me and grab my butt throughout the day everyday. Its when life gets too busy and we haven't been intimate in a few days is when i will feel disconnected and a lower priority. Also, since my surgeries and infection and being the primary caregiver for our son, my testosterone is low so i am a lot more sensitive than I ever was in the past. We joke about that all the time. I am trying to get my testosterone levels fixed now. I posted a thread about that in mens clubhouse.


Well I hear that lap dances get a guy’s testosterone to shoot up high. Not suggesting a club but there might be something you wife can do about that…. 

With all you have gone through its not a surprise that you are having some difficulties with feeling more vulnerable or sensitive. This does not mean that your testosterone is down necessarily. Is there a way to have test to check it? This might just all be about the fact that sever medical issues can cause a person to feel depressed, to feel like they have lost a large part of themselves.

What are you doing to get your testosterone up? 

Have you looked into drepression?


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## ryansdad

Yeah, i went to my pcp who argued with me for a month that he thinks it was depression because the symptoms are similar and he wanted me to try anti-depressants first. I told him my wife and I want to have another child, its my body, and it is not depression. I am happy with my life, my wife, and my son. He said o.k, i'll make a deal with you. I will test your testosterone and if its normal then you try anti-depressants. My testosterone is very low as i am 37, not 80, so he did an mri of my pituiatary gland which was normal. Then he sent me to an endocrinologist because he said i couldnt do testosterone replacement if we want to conceive because it will stop my sperm production. I saw the endo yesterday who said i need to see a urologist because thats more their specialty and they will likely try h.c.g treatments or chlomid to try and kick start my pituiatary gland into telling my body to produce more testosterone. I posted a thread in the family/parenting forum about a study that indicates if you are a stay at home dad, then it may be biology reducing your testosterone so you will be more nurturing and a better father. Its premise is once you have a mate/spouse it drops because you dont need as much to get a mate/spouse and then drop again once you have children to make you more nurturing. I am 37, and my testosterone level at its highest tested at 246 nanograms per deci-litre of blood, and any thing below 300 is low unless you are 80. On top of that, my testosterone was very high when it was tested 12 years ago, it was 1280 n.g/d.l and i have always been confident, aggressive, high energy, high sex drive, and a very hard worker. Now, it takes a monumental effort to do everything. I also posted a thread in the mens clubhouse asking them about fertility and testosterone if you are interested for more info or can supply any input on low-t and its relation to sperm count and male fertility. Thank you for any info or input you have.


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## FurryFluffy

fee said:


> Does anyone out there have any advice about how to deal with a sulking husband???!!!
> My husband is the worst sulker I've ever known! He gets cross about something, and then doesn't speak to me for days at a time. Half the time I have no clue what it is I'm supposed to have done. Even if I realise, and admit I'm in the wrong and apologise, he sulks. Once he went for almost 2 weeks, barely speaking to me, unless absolutely necessary.
> I've tried groveling and apologising repeatedly, even when I know I haven't done anything wrong. I've tried confronting him, making him tell me the problem so we can sort it out. I've tried ignoring him back.
> He eventually gets over it, but it's only a matter of time till it happens again.
> We have just immigrated from our home country, and I am completely out of my depth. He works all day, I don't have a job yet, I don't know anyone, and he is in a fat sulk, about.... well I haven't a clue really....
> I'm really starting to wander if it's worth hanging around...


I'm the sulker heree..
Woman, not a man, though. Well, in my case, I'd keep my mouth shut for a day, totally ignoring my husband and went to separate room to sleep at night. Having him apologizing and even TRYING to dig the 'what happened to you' are irritating, so I always blew him off, and we fought.

But it was on the first year. Then I finally told him that it wasn't sulking. When I got pissed or upset, it wasn't always about him [true, I got upset for a lot of things, not only him], and I was just keeping the safe distance. I knew that if I'm angry and some-sorry-soul just hit that red button, it'll be WW3 instantly. I just wanted to cool down for a day, so I dont have to angry at HIM.

Now we're doing okay. He's just leave me alone and having me hug him when I feel better, then he's got me talking voluntarily about 'what happened to you'.

maybe you should try?


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## Kjo

Men who sulk are very immature. I think it is their way of controlling someone (i.e their wife/ partner) in a silent but very cruel way. it proves that they were molly coddled by their Mum and they can't deal with the fact that they have to grow up and become a real man. If my husband sulked I would leave him and let him wollow in his own self pity. Either that or tell him to go live with his Mummy. It is a weak and spiterful emotion and shows that he is not an adult, certainly he is not a real man


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## endlessgrief

fee said:


> Does anyone out there have any advice about how to deal with a sulking husband???!!!
> My husband is the worst sulker I've ever known! He gets cross about something, and then doesn't speak to me for days at a time. Half the time I have no clue what it is I'm supposed to have done. Even if I realise, and admit I'm in the wrong and apologise, he sulks. Once he went for almost 2 weeks, barely speaking to me, unless absolutely necessary.
> I've tried groveling and apologising repeatedly, even when I know I haven't done anything wrong. I've tried confronting him, making him tell me the problem so we can sort it out. I've tried ignoring him back.
> He eventually gets over it, but it's only a matter of time till it happens again.
> We have just immigrated from our home country, and I am completely out of my depth. He works all day, I don't have a job yet, I don't know anyone, and he is in a fat sulk, about.... well I haven't a clue really....
> I'm really starting to wander if it's worth hanging around...


Did you check to see if his diaper was wet? Did he drop his binkie? Did the wheel fall off his wagon? Have you weened him from the breast yet? Get him that Tickle Me Elmo, all babies like that toy, it would keep him amused. Perhaps he has diaper rash.

Everyone sulks. If you are truly sad, it is not a sulk or a pout, it is just you are sad. Someone who sulks often seems passive aggressive to me. Does he sulk because he wants you to chase him around trying to get him to speak? Is that the kind of attention he is seeking? 

Seriously, next time he sulks, get him a bottle and a rattle. Don't say anything, just put them down in front of him and walk away. If he gets testy, he may have to go into time out. Or if you are old school, you could whack his azz over his diaper.


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## kallywana

l am 7months pregnant. My husband is a habitual sulker. My husband has been been sulking since 10days. He would not speak or have anything to do with me. His reason is that a lady called him 1.30am and l asked him who she was and he got angry that l asked. The next day l greeted him in the morning but he would not answer and hours later he told me that l would pay dearly. 

l apologized to him but nothing changed. The painful part of it is that l have been having stomach ache which leads to vomiting and l am all alone. Even if l am vomiting my intestines out, he would never ask what d problem is. lf l make food he will reject it. l have stopped making the food completely. l care about my unborn child, myself and my toddler. My problem is that l have had precious C-section and if l should have another CS it will be difficult for me because l do not have any family here.

He is now telling for a birthday invitation for his friend and l told him l am not interested.

He can sulk till eternity. l am used to his emotional abuse.


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## 381917

My husband likes to sulk too. I always know why he does, when he does it, though. And usually it is because I am beating a dead horse. When he does something that makes me mad, I tend to go on and on about it. It's probably one of my biggest faults. That makes him mad, but his reaction is the opposite of mine. He shuts down. It usually only lasts a few hours with him though. He does it because he knows it gets to me. It drives me crazy.


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## 381917

kallywana said:


> l am 7months pregnant. My husband is a habitual sulker. My husband has been been sulking since 10days. He would not speak or have anything to do with me. His reason is that a lady called him 1.30am and l asked him who she was and he got angry that l asked. The next day l greeted him in the morning but he would not answer and hours later he told me that l would pay dearly.
> 
> l apologized to him but nothing changed. The painful part of it is that l have been having stomach ache which leads to vomiting and l am all alone. Even if l am vomiting my intestines out, he would never ask what d problem is. lf l make food he will reject it. l have stopped making the food completely. l care about my unborn child, myself and my toddler. My problem is that l have had precious C-section and if l should have another CS it will be difficult for me because l do not have any family here.
> 
> He is now telling for a birthday invitation for his friend and l told him l am not interested.
> 
> He can sulk till eternity. l am used to his emotional abuse.


Oh my gosh...he got mad at you for asking who called in the middle of the night and won't tell you? To hell with him! Tell him to get the hell out so he can better keep his 1:30AM phone calls private! Forget the sulking, if I were you he wouldn't even be there.


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## WorkingOnMe

I've shut myself off, avoided interacting with my wife a few times. It's only happened when she rejected me sexually for 6 or 7 weeks. It's pretty hard to stay in a good mood after being sexless that long and eventually I just quit trying. I don't make it a secret though. Not sure if you would call it sulking or what.


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## that_girl

Wow. What a turn off (to the OP).

That's not a man, that's a child.


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## diwali123

I'm not sure what to tell you to do but I was married to a professional sulker and after a while I just decided that I wasn't going to pay attention to him when he got like that. 
I feel really bad for those of you who have to put up with sulkers. Just reading about it brings back bad memories. So glad I'm away from that.


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## Jellybeans

My exH was THE Master Sulker. For those of you who haven't been in a relationshwip with someone who ignores you for days/weeks on end--count your lucky stars. It's maddening.

Everytime I read one of these threads, I want to hug the OP.


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## scubaG

My Husband of 2 years is also a sulk, He is actually sulking for a day today.. and counting.. 

as always, it supposedly my fault. Of not paying attention to him when he wanted to show me a picture of an anti tobacco demo in the web ( he was at his laptop scrolling at FB or browsing the net since he woke up - i just was walking from where he is toward the room, i stop, walk back to him and he said its so hard for him to talk while chewing his breakfast). I didn't reacted sufficiently for him and he started pointed out that i should do what i think is important, like sharing pictures of cats that he doesn't care about, that he only do that to have the shared experience (i just show him a video of a dog - he love dogs- protecting a lobster, i was doing house chores ever since i woke up.. and probably he felt neglected.. but.. what should i do? he was in front of that laptop, everytime i ask if he wanted to do something, he would say yes, soon.

So ..
I said .. okay, i will not share cat pictures then, he then said, why not just not sharing anything. 

He said he doesn't like my body language, the look in my face that i think what he is doing is stupid.
well.. frankly.. i was puzzled of what i'm suppose to say when he showed me that anti tobacco demo, i think i was just mumbled,something like ..".. uh.. okay"..

maybe i should kneel down when i look at the pic you think ? He was sitting at his chair, the laptop is at his desk.. so i have to look down at it since i was standing.
He said some more nasty words ( i don't remember exactly what, i remember the hurt). 
went back to the room and let him sulk.

I turn on the TV, cause i was bored, and he yelled that he found it the most useless thing to watch TV during the day and it annoyed him alot, and that i should just go out and do something i want. Which i did. for a bout 1 hour, i got hungry and came back. I tought his sulk is surely over by now.. so i asked him if he would like to have lunch. he said he would, and he would not. he doesn't want to be with me.


I was so hungry after 12 pm, i was eating a snack in the bedroom, listening to a soothing music to calm down.
he went into the bedroom and started to say hurtful things, that makes me cry. so. I was crying while still eating.
He yelled at me to stop the crying.
That he said the most disgusting thing is someone who is crying while eating.
I said sorry that he feel that i'm disgusting, he turn around and said that I'm turning his word around. 

and some more hurtful words

and the silence

and the " you do what you want to do"

and the silence

and i still have no meal but a bar of chocolate, feel guilty of going out to get a meal while he doesn't

and now already 4 pm

maybe i should mix a mojito for myself. Turn on the TV.. its no longer a " day time" isn't it ?
sometime i just wish he would hit me, at least this way, the damage he done is visible


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## EleGirl

scubaG ,

This is a thread started in 2010. 

Please create your own thread and copy/paste your above post into that thread. That way you will get people responding to you directly.


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