# Anyone mind giving me some advice



## Coolguy69 (Feb 27, 2011)

Ok so heres the situation. I have this friend of my (she's a girl), we've known each other for well over a year now, she knows im in love with her and she seems to accept that. Recently she has been starting agruments for smallest things!! and gets mad at me when i do something wrong but the things is when one of her other friends does something wrong she looks happy seems totally fine with whatever the've done!! Does this mean anything? She also recently told her best friend that she might give me a chance if I mature more.We've gone through alot the past year but this is the only thing i can come up with. Please help..


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

Approach her and flat out tell her you want to be with her. Be strong and confident, don't do things to impress your friends, do things to impress her. act like a man and take charge of the situation.

Oh and what have you been doing wrong?:scratchhead: That could be telling as to why she believes you are immature.


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## Coolguy69 (Feb 27, 2011)

Ive asked out before like twice, the first time she said no the second time she she wasnt sure about it.

And honestly im not sure what im doing wrong, she keeps telling im thinking like a child.. She has a baby and is 15 soo shes pretty much asking me to be more like an adult im guessing but i dont know how to be more mature


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

Coolguy69 said:


> Ive asked out before like twice, the first time she said no the second time she she wasnt sure about it.
> 
> And honestly im not sure what im doing wrong, she keeps telling im thinking like a child.. She has a baby and is 15 soo shes pretty much asking me to be more like an adult im guessing but i dont know how to be more mature


how old are you? shes 15 and has a baby?


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## Coolguy69 (Feb 27, 2011)

im 16, yeah she has a 9 month old baby


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## Coolguy69 (Feb 27, 2011)

bump


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

She has had to grow up fast. In essence she has missed out on part of her own childhood. I have two 17 year old daughters and I can't even imagine. For you to have a relationship with this girl, you will have to grow up fast too. You may not be ready for the reality of this relationship.

While you are still young, read _The Five Love Languages_ by Gary Chapman. It will give you a strong understanding of how love really works. It will explain her current behavior towards you and what you need to do to change that.


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## Coolguy69 (Feb 27, 2011)

Wow thanks for help, yeah when I see her i feel like im looking at a woman, not a girl. I cant imagine how hard it would be to be in a relationship with her. Were really good friends an all but it can get really tough sometimes to get along, and were not even together :\


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## Coolguy69 (Feb 27, 2011)

bump


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

Frabking A.... closed the window while typing!!! ARG I hate that..

Anyway, to the gist of what I was saying when I had a slip of the pinky finger.... YOU ARE 16! No matter how OK you think you are with her an a KID, unless you are extraordinarily mature WAY beyond your age, you shouldn't be there! This is not some teenage romance between two kids, there is a third mind heart and soul that will be affected by the whole thing. Sorry, but it is not likely to last, no matter what your mind says (no offense meant here, but we were all idiots at 16, every generation, and that has certainly not changed with the new generation). This is not TV, this is NOT Secrets of the America Teen or whatever that stupid, UNREALISTIC show is. If you were as mature as you think you are, you would be thinking WAY beyond (I can handle her having a kid, I don't mind" and thinking "How will me presence affect her child, can I be a good adult figure in the child's life ect....) 

If there was no kid in the picture I wouldn't bother saying anything more than make sure you wear your raincoat and don't make kids, but the kid is already there so it's all a different ballgame. 

Just sayin here. She may look like a woman... but she's not. She is a kid with a kid, that's all. Let yourself grow up, take the heartache on the chin, and know as a parent, she needs something different now (yes she is gonna miss out on a lot of teenage heartbreak, and that's not a god thing, but she changed the game when she had the kid, now she has to play a new position) 16!!


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## Coolguy69 (Feb 27, 2011)

I see get you're saying, it's true. But isnt there anything postive you can tell me out of the situation? 

I can be immature when im having a good time sure but in this kind of situation of course i would take it alot more serious.


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## Coolguy69 (Feb 27, 2011)

Is there anything positive i can get from this situation? Or anything i can do? I dont just want to forget about her and her baby and move on with my life, i want to be with her.


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

Coolguy69 said:


> I see get you're saying, it's true. But isnt there anything postive you can tell me out of the situation?
> 
> I can be immature when im having a good time sure but in this kind of situation of course i would take it alot more serious.


Not really. In all honesty, there is not too much positive to be found in parenthood, or even stepping into anything resembling that position at 16. None that I can see. You are looking at maturity in a perfectly normal way for your age (comparing it to hanging with friends, having a good time) which you don't realize proves my point that you would be in WAY the hell over your head. It is fine to be a friend, she will need that BADLY, but probably REALLY bad for her AND her child for it to go further. Sucks just as much for her since she is not likely to find a person ready to actually be with her for a long long time (till her peer pool matches her situation). It is what it is. Kids change EVERYTHING no matter what your age or situation.... it's just an even more drastic change at that age.

I think it would be really irresponsible for me to pretend to offer you anything good or to give you anything that would encourage you to move forward. 

I am just being honest. I would tell any of the kids on my block that I talk to the same thing, and they would hate it as much as you do (and often do LOL) but that's OK cuz it's my place at my age to offer real advice and opinion and not give you what you want to hear cause I want to look cool (I tell them that too and in turn they have ended up coming to me for real advice after defriending me on FB for offering unsolicited advise HAHA) OK with me. Would rather steer you in the right direction.


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## Coolguy69 (Feb 27, 2011)

Well ok, thanks for atleast posting and giving your 2 cents on the subject.


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

I wan't going to, because honestly I know it's not what you want to here and I really do remember what to tell adults handing down wisdom to me to ****** off when I was 16, thinking "my god they don't understand at all!!!!" and I fully expect you to be thinking the same thing LOL (BTW if you're not then KUDOS to you, that means you have some personal insight to yourself)

I just looked at this a bunch of times and just realized that because I am adult, now aware of a situation, it is my responsibility to at the very least, SAY something. I take that whole "village raising the child" thing to heart and feel I am obliged to make effort where I think I can.

So don't think I am just saying to myself "what a dumb kid" I am just thinking this is a situation that at 16, there is no way to see the bigger picture. You haven't lived enough years yet to do that. You will, and you will look back on this moment in life with a perspective you can't yet imagine (I look back and OMG I WAS that really DUMB kid HAHA) I have just grown to hate a society where too many people assume nothing is their business, no one wants to give, and kids like you are left to figure it out on your own. It's not fair to you to deny you what was provided to me when I was young (even though i chose to ignore it most of the time, it did have an impact that I was not aware of till much later.)

Good luck with it all, sincerely. Either way, I hope it is a situation you can get through with some degree of grace and maturity beyond your years.


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## Coolguy69 (Feb 27, 2011)

Thank you :] I wouldnt mind hearing other people opinions or advice they would like to give me , keep posting


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## Coolguy69 (Feb 27, 2011)

bump


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