# What do you do when he won't talk?



## sue1168 (Feb 25, 2010)

My husband left me and our kids (2 girls, age 16, one boy, age 11) a little over 2 months ago. He won't talk to me or anyone else for that matter. In the only text conversation we've had he won't come out and say that he wants a divorce. He speaks out of both sides of his mouth. He says things about not being happy yet he was stupid and now he has to lie in the bed he made. I've texted him and asked point blank if he wanted out and he said we need to talk, but he never gets back with me on that. For some reason he won't come out and give me a definite answer and I don't know why. How long should I live in limbo?


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## boarderwayne (Feb 14, 2010)

How do you feel? Do you want him back or do you want him to quit?


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## sue1168 (Feb 25, 2010)

I want him back but I don't want things the way they were before. He's got to be willing to do some changing and make up his mind that our life together is what he wants. I can't go through his leaving again.


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## boarderwayne (Feb 14, 2010)

I don't mean to sound blunt but from reading some of your other posts, why do you want him back? In your other post you mention that you've gone through this with him once already, remarried him again a few years later and he's once again run away. If he were to come back tomorrow, what's stopping him from walking out again in a few more years? The way it looks to me is if he comes back now you're just delaying the inevitable. I'm sorry if I've come off sounding like an A-hole, just giving my view on it because to me it's nice to get an opinion that doesn't necessarily agree with me, helps to see things in another light. Wish you the best of luck with whatever his (or your) decision may be.


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## sue1168 (Feb 25, 2010)

Thanks boarderwayne. I don't know why I want him back...really I don't. I love him, but evidentally love isn't enough, at least not enough for him to stay, be committed and faithful. I know I could do better if I would put myself out there and try, but I never really have. I didn't date the whole 8 years we were divorced because I loved him that much. I have loved this man for more than half my life and I don't know if it's routine or familiarity or what but I just can never seem to shut that door, lock it, and throw away the key.

You're right, there's nothing to stop him from leaving again if he did come back and I know that I would be living and waiting for the other shoe to drop. I am rethinking my options here and I appreciate your honesty. Thanks!


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