# Been separated over a month, now what?



## manny315

As some of you might have seen ive been posting in the dealing with separation area.


I have been separated from my lovely, crazy wife over a month.
She is is the States while im in my country letting things cool off.
I fly back home in 6 days and I need advice on what to do now.

In a month we have only talked twice and that was like 3 weeks ago. I love her and would love to first fix the relationship instead of just calling it quits after out first separation.

I have been going to church and getting better, looking for help on things that caused problems and things that might ignite problems in the future.

I dont know where she is living now. I do know where she works. The times she has to message me she does it through her mother.

I am lost here, like I said I would love another chance and if not well we need to settle for a divorce but running away and hiding is not the answer.

pls help...


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## Stretch

Manny,

The best thing you can do is to put R out of your mind and focus on your personal healing.

Continue to work on yourself, but don't do it with the hope of R, do it as preparing for your future without your WAW.

The most effective thing you can do is to live your life in front of the WAW and let her consider the fact that you are moving on without her.

It took my WAW 14 months to realize she made a mistake and by that point I didn't want R.

You are holding all of the cards, play wisely,
Stretch


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## SamuraiJack

Yep. Best way to do it is to live your life and NOT buy into her BS. Just stay steady and retain your dignity and self respect above all else.


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## WatchmansMoon

I'm with you, Manny, in leaning towards reconciliation. Divorce is so painful, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. You sound like you're working on your own issues, and maybe that's all you need to worry about at this time. If you can get marriage counseling, I'd say to go for it. There are a lot of great books out there, and if your DW knows you're working you way though resources to bring healing, it may soften her heart. ("Healing the Hurt in Your Marriage" is a good one to start with.) You can't control her actions, but you can your own. In the very least, you may have less regrets later should your marriage end in divorce. Do your part while you can though. I wish you the best!

~ Seek the Light ~


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