# My story



## bummed77 (Apr 9, 2012)

In 2008 my wife admitted to having an emotional affair with co worker. She said they never kissed and that she ejoyed the conversations and they were just friends. I remeber watching her get ready for work and i knew their was more to it. The agreement was no contact and if he contacted her she was to tell me. My day came 3 years later when the OM now girlfriend came to my job and asked me what was going on with my wife and the OM. I told her i only knew them to be friends and thats it. She informed me that they indeed had sex and that my wife was interferrring in their relationship. Two days prior to this my wife told me that she had to go to talk to the OM to tell him to ask his girlfriend to back off. We argued because their was suppose to be no contact. His girlfriend also informed me that he gave my wife an alltimatium. When i made it home after hearing this news i was furious. I called my wife on the phone and told her what just happened. She said she would talk to me when i get home, so i left work and went stra8 home. When I walked through the door she had a very scared look on her face. I ask her did she did she have sex with him and all she could reply was "Are you going to hit me?" I never hit a woman in my life but she has seen me violent in other situations. We sat on the couch and I said talk and dont' lie. She said they slept together twice and that she went to his 4 times. She said that the sex was boring and only went back to see if it was better. I asked Her why she didnt come clean and she replied that our marriage was getting better and that she had put it behind us because we were doing so well. 
What i dont understand is why did a completer stranger come to my job and tell me that my wife did if fact cheat. The girlfriend said she wanted to expose my wife. 
my wife now has a new job and has no contact with the other man from what i know, but im always the last to know. I dont think she came all the way clean because the affair was 3yrs ago. In order for me to move on I want the truth and she says i know everything and that there isnt any more to talk about. Any advice!


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Lots!

Tell your wife that she has one more chance to come clean without any repercussions (you'll remain calm and not yell). If she tells you you know everything already, tell her you are scheduling a polygraph for her so you can be sure since she has deceived you for the past 3 years and you need to know all the details so you can put this to rest.

If she agrees to the poly, great! Schedule it and do it, regardless of what she says.

If she refuses the poly saying things like "don't you trust me?" then I think you have your answer


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

bummed77 said:


> In 2008 my wife admitted to having an emotional affair with co worker. She said they never kissed and that she ejoyed the conversations and they were just friends. I remeber watching her get ready for work and i knew their was more to it. The agreement was no contact and if he contacted her she was to tell me. My day came 3 years later when the OM now girlfriend came to my job and asked me what was going on with my wife and the OM. I told her i only knew them to be friends and thats it. She informed me that they indeed had sex and that my wife was interferrring in their relationship. Two days prior to this my wife told me that she had to go to talk to the OM to tell him to ask his girlfriend to back off. We argued because their was suppose to be no contact. His girlfriend also informed me that he gave my wife an alltimatium. When i made it home after hearing this news i was furious. I called my wife on the phone and told her what just happened. She said she would talk to me when i get home, so i left work and went stra8 home. When I walked through the door she had a very scared look on her face. I ask her did she did she have sex with him and all she could reply was "Are you going to hit me?" I never hit a woman in my life but she has seen me violent in other situations. We sat on the couch and I said talk and dont' lie. She said they slept together twice and that she went to his 4 times. She said that the sex was boring and only went back to see if it was better. I asked Her why she didnt come clean and she replied that our marriage was getting better and that she had put it behind us because we were doing so well.
> What i dont understand is why did a completer stranger come to my job and tell me that my wife did if fact cheat. The girlfriend said she wanted to expose my wife.
> my wife now has a new job and has no contact with the other man from what i know, but im always the last to know. I dont think she came all the way clean because the affair was 3yrs ago. In order for me to move on I want the truth and she says i know everything and that there isnt any more to talk about. Any advice!


You know enough. Dump her. Move on with your life. She cheats and lies.


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## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)

I don't know why but I sense the affair was on going hence his girlfriend's confrontation, I don't buy your wife's excuse that she met the OM because she wanted her "to back off". I think that was the ultimatum meeting where he essentially dumped your wife. Either the girlfriend must've uncovered something recent that made her come to you or she was tying up all the loose ends for reconciliation with her partner. I doubt it stopped three years ago. Look up "trickle truth".


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Where is the tip of the iceberg picture when you need it? Dude, you did not even get 5% of the truth.. I will bet my life savings on it. You are getting what is known as Trickle truth. Read the material and stories here. She had sex with him more than 2 times and it was going on all along. See if yoiu can get more information from the guy's gf. Tell her that she needs to get a polygraph(Watch her react to it). Insist of absolute honesty. What you will learn will absolutely destroy you. be prepared for that. 

Check her call records. Also her mails during this time(though she might have deleted them by now. Check the sentItems and trash folders immediately). You are no where near the truth. Inform the HR of both the OM and her affair.


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## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)




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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

"The sex was boring so I had to go do it again to see if it was any better". What is wrong with this picture? Your wife is so lying to you. If you believe this then I have a bridge to sell you. 

If you told your wife that you sex with a woman and it was boring, but you had to have sex with her again just to see if it could get better, what would you wife have said to you? She is playing you for a total fool.
1. Get tested for STD's
2. See an attorney to understand your options.
3. Expose the affair to her family.
4. She is clearly lying to you so you need to have her take a polygraph if you wish.
She clearly has no respect for you. If you do not respect yourself then who will?


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## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

Schedule a polygraph then tell her , they often reveal more before the test sometimes in the car park with minutes to go.

I suspect the affair was still going on and the GF found out.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

I don`t understand why the OMG is exposing now if the affair was three years ago?

Am I missing something?


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

I would venture to say that this affair has been going on for years. Sex 2 times? Try 200. 

She is lying. Get an attorney and file for divorce. Tell her the only way you might stop the procedings is if she comes clean on everything. Right now she thinks she has you over a barrel. Take the control back from her and show her that you are fully willing to D her and walk away. 

Also, do what Bryanp listed. Also, have her type up a No Contact letter to the OM and let you read it. If you are happy with it, have her send it and watch it when she does. 

Expose the affair to her family before she goes and makes up lies about how it is all your fault, which she will do. 

If she wants to reconcile, no more passwords on her e-mail, and her phone must be readily available for you to look at. Also, if you think she and the OM are taking the affair submarine, then buy a VAR (voice activated recorder) and tape it under the front seat of her car to catch her calls to him.


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## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

Read the newbie thread link below, there is good advice therein.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/32002-welcome-tam-cwi-newbies-please-read.html
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Antigen (Apr 9, 2012)

You can't pick and choose which lies to believe just because it's convenient and less painful.

She cheated --> very bad

She didn't come clean until you had proof --> even worse

She is STILL not giving you all the facts --> Probably not fixable.


Is she that great that you would put up with this?


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Complexity said:


> I don't know why but I sense the affair was on going hence his girlfriend's confrontation, I don't buy your wife's excuse that she met the OM because she wanted her "to back off". I think that was the ultimatum meeting where he essentially dumped your wife. Either the girlfriend must've uncovered something recent that made her come to you or she was tying up all the loose ends for reconciliation with her partner. I doubt it stopped three years ago. Look up "trickle truth".


I`d bet money Complexity is on the right track here.

It sounds to me like the OMG busted the OM in an affair with your wife and laid down the law.

Your wife probably got thrown under the bus or they are working on taking it underground.

The OMG is crafty though with the exposure to you the affair is pretty much a done deal.

You aren`t getting anything near the truth OP.

I myself wouldn`t waste another minute trying to get any more info now after the fact.
I`d just file for D and be done.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

She has slept multiple times and will continue to do so. Not much you can do about it, if she can't keep her skirt down she will do it again.

Protect yourself financially and divorce her asap. In the mean time as other's said get tested for STD's, not only is she lying to you and treating you like a doormat, she is also putting your health at a very high risk. Do you want herpes? Because if you dont have it now, very soon you might.


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## HalfGrin (Apr 8, 2012)

Are there Kids Involved?
No - (find someone you trust)
Yes - How old is the youngest? - >18 - (find someone you trust)
Yes - How old is the youngest? - <18 - (that sucks)


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## bummed77 (Apr 9, 2012)

they still worked together. be fore i knew they had said me and the OM bumped into each other in the hallway and i told him who i was. When i left the job later i found out that he said that B*tch told her husband on me. # yrs later he said that was the end of it and that my wife was being messy to his new girlfriend who worked on the same floor as my wife. I have been up seveeral times b e for d day and nobdy said anything. He even smiled at my a few times but i never paid it any mind until i found out some of the truth.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

There is alot to talk about here, and she's to ashamed to realize this. She's sorry she got caught, but doesn't have the remorse that lets you know the she is now an open book. 

Sure this is alot more, even alot more shame on her part, hence the reasoning behind not wanting to talk about it any more. 

Do not let her sweep this under the carpet, one of many consequences is to own her crap and face it head on without any regard for herself and the willingness to answer all questions, and the consequence of telling and talking to you when ever you feel the need.

Until she can face this shame and help you heal by excepting the consequence in addressing why she has this behavior, this lack of boundries, this disregard for the ones that love her, then it will repeat, maybe 5 years from now maybe 10 years, who knows, but the fact remains that until this issue she has with adultory behavior is addressed she will relaps.

This is the big picture to all of this, if she shuts down with regard to dealing with her crap then you will have a very hard and long road to recovery, and at the end it may not be with her.

She must face this head on, granted it will take time and there will be withdrawls, but she needs to face this as an idividual in order to heal her marriage and heal you.

Do not let her sweep this under the rug! Being told everything, have said sorry a million times won't cut it, there is a big change she needs to show, not say.

At the end of the day do you think she is even close to having this kind of mind set that I talk about?


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

tacoma said:


> I don`t understand why the OMG is exposing now if the affair was three years ago?
> 
> Am I missing something?


the affair never stopped.

Edit: So the wife was harassing the OM's gf and she told you?


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## TBT (Dec 20, 2011)

Kinda confused.3 years later,after supposed end of affair,your wife had to go see OM's GF? The OM gives your wife an ultimatum?This looks like it never stopped,and if not I would be hard pressed to accept only having sex twice.Lots more yet to come out I'm sure.


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## Antigen (Apr 9, 2012)

HalfGrin said:


> Are there Kids Involved?
> No - (find someone you trust)
> Yes - How old is the youngest? - >18 - (find someone you trust)
> Yes - How old is the youngest? - <18 - (that sucks)


I'm new I don't understand what the age of the kids have to do with finding someone you trust and why do you think that age 18 is so critical?


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## snap (Oct 3, 2011)

Antigen said:


> I'm new I don't understand what the age of the kids have to do with finding someone you trust and why do you think that age 18 is so critical?


Nothing really.


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## bummed77 (Apr 9, 2012)

kids are under 12. they know a lil bit but not the full situation.


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## bummed77 (Apr 9, 2012)

the girlfriend was also my wife friend before and during the affair. i sent my sife flowers to work for her birthday and bought her a necklace. that weekend i rented a venue and through her a b day party kids friendly. the pic were on facebook and everyone talked about the flowers. i didnt hold back on the money! the girlfriend came to my job that following week and informed me. she said something must be still their. The OM and my wife both said it was over in 2008 and there was no contact until my wife told him to get girlfriend because it was affecting her job. she didnt like taking orders from my wife. the move the girlfriend and the OM to aonther floor where the girlfriend eventually was fired for arguing with the OM. dont know why don;t care. A few months after that my job was visted by his hood and they were very pissed. I was clueless once again and comes to find out he got shot and they thought i had something to do with it but i was at work and didnt even know what he looked like at the time. i asked my wife did she know about it and she said yes she heard bout it work.


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## bummed77 (Apr 9, 2012)

she is so happy our relationship was before i found out that she didnt know how to tell me. I also had an affair and have prove that i can be trustworthy. my affair was over 4 years before this one started. She said she never dealted with it. i told her everthing she wanted to know plus some stuff she didnt like i almost had a baby outside of our marriage. That really didnt phase her that much. she is always stuck on the affair not the one night stand.


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## bummed77 (Apr 9, 2012)

thats the girlfriend;s story. My wife said she instruted her to do a few jobs at work and there was always attitude. the OM is backing his girlfriend. he lied about it a 1st until I told him my wife brought me to his house, gave me his cell info car and his work shedule. When confronted with this he said that they were just friends and it was over in 2008 when we talked the 1st time. He thinks my wife is holding their break up over his new girlfriends head. His girlfriend would come and fuss and she keep asking why does my wife treat her like that and that when he told her that he was inaffair with my wife and that my wife approached him. She only came to my job to tell my wife to back off. My you our relation was during 80% better when all of this came out. I have no proof if the affair was more or less. Everybody has a different story.


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## bummed77 (Apr 9, 2012)

i have to think bout that. THeir are lil kid involed


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

This is way over my head


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## cledus_snow (Feb 19, 2012)

> She said that the sex was boring and only *went back to see if it was better*.


how priceless is this.

how goes the saying _"if at first you don't succeed, try, try again."_

at least you know your wife is not a quitter.


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

warlock07 said:


> This is way over my head


Oooops!
Same here.
OP is trickle truthing as well!!


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## bummed77 (Apr 9, 2012)

she has agreed to a lie detecter.


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## bummed77 (Apr 9, 2012)

she has shown alot of remorse even before i found out it went physical. She doesn't like to go out without me. She doesn't drink as much. She has turned from a working woman into a better house wife and mother to out kids. She still shows guilt about her affair even if I don't bring it up. We have been together 12 years and married 11. We both want a piece of mind. We are both taking a lie detector test in about a week.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

bummed77 said:


> she has shown alot of remorse even before i found out it went physical. She doesn't like to go out without me. She doesn't drink as much. She has turned from a working woman into a better house wife and mother to out kids. She still shows guilt about her affair even if I don't bring it up. We have been together 12 years and married 11. We both want a piece of mind. We are both taking a lie detector test in about a week.


That's because you're giving her a stable marriage, why would she want to destroy that. She is faking it and in no time she will very likely start living the single life again.


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## Beowulf (Dec 7, 2011)

keko said:


> That's because you're giving her a stable marriage, why would she want to destroy that. She is faking it and in no time she will very likely start living the single life again.


Now, now. She might very well be trying to fix her issues. Its up to the OP to make sure he has the truth and continues to verify everything. As long as he is happy with how things are going and continues to make sure she is solidly in the relationship she can fake it for the next 50 years if she wants.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

If you had an affair I don't see where you can lay down any law with her. That's the problem when both spouses cheat: morality becomes fluid at that point. There is no more baseline by which to conduct your behaviors towards one another.

First, make sure she is actually broken up with the OM. If she is, then you and your wife need to go to some intensive counseling and you both also need to write up a contract of boundaries that you both agree on and live by it.


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## bummed77 (Apr 9, 2012)

we both tried counseling separate and together. it just put the problem aside but we both never really got closer. we would talk afterwards and that helped. both counselors had 2 different approachs to our reconciling. We both agree it helped in some ways but when it boils down to it. Its up to us. Im sure now that there is no contact with the OM. His girlfriend thinks they were having affair and i insured her from my stand point that i dont believe they were but i could be wrong. My wife is a terrible liar and she turns red when she hiding something. We confronted about the affair ended where it was suppose to shes very certain that it was over before she told me. During a 7month period she called his phone form her cell 7 times. Mostly towards the end. I dont believe that but thats what was said. The OM agree that it was over and that their was alot of rumors that was blowing the situation out of propotion. Not known to me but security was called every time i went to see her at work. We would sit and eat lunch and kiss out in the open view of her employers and his girlfriend. I found out later that another woman was calling sercutiy just in case i had found out. The sercutiy supervisor asked to speak to me and wanted to know what was the big deal. The OM had stated "she know and I know I F*ucked her". The employee that over heard that knew that someone who tell me he said it and it happened two days later. The OMG threatend to jump my wife after work after being caought in a lie at work. She was caught lieing about what the OM had acutally said. She was later fired due to an arguement in the publics view with the OM. My wife called me and informed of the info and it was backed up by the OM supervisor. He said that he would keep him away and that he was not to be on the floor unless he was waxing floors.
Another rumor was that i was suppose to come up there and break his jaw. Did i said that HELL YEAH i did. Was i going to? nope. Neither my wife or the OM, OMG worth me being locked up away from my small babies.
When I left her job on another occasion the OM was pissed at my wife for her telling me his name and where they met up at and also giving me his phone number. He called her a B*tch and stated some other off the wall stuff i cant remeber. My mom informed of his comments and called me and asked what started it all. After revealing to her what had happened she was upset and told me that everybody at the job knew and i only finding out years later. My wife insures me that she was never going to leave our family but she just wanted space to get her head back on track. She insured me that she never meant for the OM to believe that they had achance together. He was lead to believe they were and was upset with her when she told him she wanted to work it out with her husband. He repliied i knew this was going to happen and walked off. I told her to break it off in plan view of her employers to insure that no more rumors would come out of it. It worked until The OM new girlfriend came to my job 3 years later. It a messed up story.
Do i believe my wife told me the truth about the affaire? hell no
Since the affair have we been better? Yep we have been on the same page about alot of things and our kids were also doing better. The OM and I have had a few run ins but i never got physical even though i wanted to. He sat at the lunch table talking about his adventures with my wife and he nor I knew that one of the males at the table was my cousin. Thats how I found out alot bs was being said and it was coming out of his mouth even though he had a girlfriend. He now cant look me in the eye, and would move on the other side of the hallway when he would see coming or he would go another direction. Im tall and fit. He's short with a beer belly, he's a janitor at the job and i also know the illlegal activies he is involed in. All I want the OM to do is to keep my wife name out of his mouth. He know the Game, She came home and is back with me. some how i dont understand the costant bs talking about a woman who does work there anymore and why are they (OM, OMG) on my facebook page leaving message that really dont make any sense. Mutal friend informed me and my wife to move on and forget them. The OM and OMG both were caught cheating with separate parties and he dragged my wife into it. My wife has showed me phone records, email, and passwords. She is very open that it was over when she said it was and doesnt know why all this is going. Me either. I was at work when the affair started and was at work when I founed out. Help me figure this out!


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Get a polygraph done on your wife

Have her get a new job.

Explain that if she talks to or has any contact , ANY with OM you will leave her.

You gotta up grade the people around you, these people act and live like complete trash.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bummed77 (Apr 9, 2012)

She has agreed to a polygraph. She quit that job about 7 months ago. There is no contact with OM, or OMG. We have bascially cut off all ties to her old job. When when go out together and post our pic of FB some unknown woman of facebook will bring up something about the affair on my page. The info is exaggrated but my wife always say there is nothing else to say that i know the worst part. Im too the point where is just same ole Sh*t just a different day.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

bummed77 said:


> She has agreed to a polygraph. She quit that job about 7 months ago. There is no contact with OM, or OMG. We have bascially cut off all ties to her old job. When when go out together and post our pic of FB *some unknown woman of facebook will bring up something about the affair on my page.* The info is exaggrated but my wife always say there is nothing else to say that i know the worst part. Im too the point where is just same ole Sh*t just a different day.


Ummm, if that is happening then there is a whole lot more you don't know.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Something really doesn't add up here.

Any unexplained times she disappears?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bummed77 (Apr 9, 2012)

no unexplain times. she always avaiable and lets me know her whereabouts. We are an interracial couple and my family thinks it because shes white. I asked her to take a polygraph and she said she would. she cried at 1st because she wants this to alll go away. she confessed to being lonely and mad at me at the time of the A and that the OM was a good listener. she swears she it was emotional even though they were physcial 3 times in a 8 month period and there were only 7 calls and no text message. he bought her a card and flowers for valentine day and she said thats when it started. She admitted to alot of stuff i didnt have to ask her about. Now the OM is talking bad about her in all aspects. some ore rumor and some are true. The OM cant even look me in the eye or be in the same room with me if im at the job eating lunch. People who know what has happen told me that he is full of sh*t and that my wife got caught with the a very crafty clown. His own cousin said let it go cause the OM needs to mind his girl friend and quit starting fight between the 2. He was also shot by another man who he started rumors about cause he didnt get his way! What the f*ck was my wife thinking getting involed with a dope boy gangster, who i punked out several times at his job in the hallway. I did it all without physical violence. Trust me it wasnt easy but the OM, OMG, and my wife are not worth it. I just want them to let us be!!


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

Take out a blank sheet of paper and pen, tell your wife to write each activity(emotional and physical) she had with men other then you. Have her write the names and dates. Just before she start's tell her you are going to take her to polygraph to verify each of these, if she lies or excludes one detail you're out.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Has the polygraph happened yet? If not, when?

Do not cancel it!


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## OldWolf57 (Mar 20, 2012)

so this is his new GF, so now it's 3 times, so now even ur mom knows, so now she has a new job and don't work there anymore,so now you see him on the job. DUDE, lay it out straight, d//m it's hard to follow. what kind of job was this. a packing house ?


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

You should think about just cutting your wife free. She cheated and that's a huge deal breaker, the fact that she chose to did it with such a loser is even more reason to kick her to the curb. You just don't cheat in a man you love.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## cledus_snow (Feb 19, 2012)

> she confessed to being lonely and mad at me at the time of the A and that the OM was a good listener.


here we go again. what happens when she has these feelings again. i don't know about you, but i wouldn't be able to trust a person after something like this. there will ALWAYS be doubt.


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

Second time she went to him for looking whether the sex is good, 3rd time was it because sex got better? how many more time she went, do you know that? How can you live your life peacefully when OM is bragging about banging your wife.

What she tells you when OM brags about banging her to other people? When everyone including your mother know about the affair why you didnt know about that?

Take her for a poly, if she lied to you, dont waste your time R, issue her with D paper. She dont deserve you after this much time she got to come clean, After even she getting a second chance which is very rare. Dont become a laughing piece for others at your work and among friends, they may be laughing at your back now, so is the FB messages about your cheating wife stories. Definitely something is missing in her story, find it out using a poly.


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

If you can warn OM firmly, i think you can shut his mouth. take your wife also with you, let she give him a good kick on his balls.


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## bummed77 (Apr 9, 2012)

She used to work at a hospital with the OM. I used to go there for lunch time if im in the area. My mom also worked their but on other floor. The OM is a floor tech and he is all over the hospital. My mom didnt have a clue until another employee got upset with the OM and he talked to my mom. She called my wife and cussed her out for letting her self go. this was in 2008. I founded out it was physical in 2011. The A was from feb 08 to oct 08. phone records show 7 calls. 3 in the beginning and 4 at the end. She had to stay in the hospital for a few days due a huricane. The OM was there also along with my mom and auntie. they didnt find out until later what was going on. My wife and I had a talk in a public area and she conffesed that it was emotional. now that I know it was physical she said that she couldn't tell me the truth then because she was scared. Our marriaga from 2008 until 2011 d day was getting alot better. I was going to her job at the time without knowing that it was physcial and my wife and I were doing alot better. My kids were getting better mental because I left and we sat them down to tell them we seperating also in 2008. We both dont know what happened for the OMG to come to my job and tell me that it was physcial. She was accountable and very remorseful on her on. I basically was done with the marriage in 2008 and she change and we both started changing some old habits and got a new place together. what happend in 2011 for d day is stil in the air. the poly is this weekend and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.


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## bummed77 (Apr 9, 2012)

The OM is a coward. I have introduced myself to a couple of times without violence. I had a job where if I got arrested i could lose my job just cause of an arrest. He knew that and played on it. He is no threat to me what so ever. The OMG came on to me after she revealed the affair to me at my job. We exchanged numbers so we could talk and that was just the beginning. We we talked on the phone she wanted to get together as pay back, caught me off guard since she just told me the day before my wife and her now fiance had sex.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

I think there is much more here than your wife is telling you. I can't believe the OMG is still going after your wife for being with the OM only back in 2008. 

It doesn't make sense that the OMG is focusing on something so far in the past. I think you've been played and that there is more going on now than you've been told.

Expect her to try to get out of the polygraph, or get evasive about it - such as "If you really loved me you would just trust me"

No - there is much more here recently that you've been told.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

For the polygraph, are you only going to have question's asked about 2011 or 2008 as well? 

The more you post, the more it looks like your WW had multiple affair's...


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## bummed77 (Apr 9, 2012)

she backed out of poly feeling like its an insult, after we had another talk. Im getting my life back on track and starting to just be there for my kids. My wife is terrifed of me and I dont know why. All i ask is for her to come talk to me about anything and i had to threaten her with a poly for some more answers which in itself is not good. ill post later for updates.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

bummed77 said:


> she backed out of poly feeling like its an insult, after we had another talk. Im getting my life back on track and starting to just be there for my kids. My wife is terrifed of me and I dont know why. All i ask is for her to come talk to me about anything and i had to threaten her with a poly for some more answers which in itself is not good. ill post later for updates.


Exactly, there is much more she hasn't told you. 

Hate to say it but unless she immediately tells you everything/takes polygraph you need to proceed with a divorce.


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

You have been totally played. If you don't respect yourself then who will?


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## bummed77 (Apr 9, 2012)

Quick update. my wife and i are doing better. There isn't any outside influence. we have been communicating and looking towards the future with an open outlook. thanks for all the advice. the poly bluff worked to profection. I went as far as driving to the poly test and it all came out.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

What else did she confess ?


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## ArmyofJuan (Dec 29, 2010)

You haven't hit the anger stage yet, this isn't over my friend so don't get too comfortable. If you rug sweep this there's a good chance you'll be back here in a year or so with the same problem.


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## bummed77 (Apr 9, 2012)

from how it started, until the day to OMG came to my job.


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## bummed77 (Apr 9, 2012)

I just wait for the next bump in the road and turn the page.


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## bummed77 (Apr 9, 2012)

im fresh out of questions to ask. Its a day for day kind of thing for us now. We havent argued about the affair in months. Are kids are doing better in school and the house is less stressful. Any advice im all ears.


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## bummed77 (Apr 9, 2012)

We discussed a polygraph and at first she was offended. Several hours later we sat down and her demeaner was sad and low. She revealed more about the affair and admitted to some lies that she told. Do I feel I got the truth? Nope. Its been day for day ever since. I saved money and went with my gut to trust my instincts.


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