# Confused



## Kc79 (Feb 17, 2021)

So about a month ago I confronted my husband’s other woman. After he had not come home for the weekend and his car and hers was at a motel. She is a coworker of his. She to was married and has three kids. My husband and I have been together 21 years and two boys in high school.
He was so mad at me because I turned his phone off, took all the money in his account and text her husband. I have not stood up to him for a very long time. I also left for a week. Then he was trying to push my buttons to get me to fight with him. I have yet but he went to stay with her. Only took backpack with two pants and sweatshirts. He is also in the service and got and awarded and had to write bio and said he has been married for 20 years with two kids. He said he is not divorcing me and he still hasn’t packed his clothes and moved his stuff. He doesn’t want friends or family to know. Also he still wants to go camping and on weekend trip with my mom and friends. The other woman has been trying to get me to kick him. Her husband cousin dated my sister and has been telling them things so the would get back to me. For instance that my husband was taking her and her kids to Virginia when he goes for training. Well for one he doesn’t want any one to know and two his brother is stationed there. Then over the weekend I was telling my mom my friend has four wheeler for sale and he wants me and him to buy it. Oh and he asked me how I was this weekend I told him ok. He said just okay. I told him what do you want my to say. I asked him how his new relationship was going and he said not good. He has told my mom twice he wasn’t happy and she asked if he loved the other woman and he said no.I just don’t know what to do???


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Kc79 said:


> I just don’t know what to do???


Huh? You don’t know what to do? Really???


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Kc79 said:


> Her husband cousin dated my sister and has been telling them things so the would get back to me. For instance that my husband was taking her and her kids to Virginia when he goes for training. Well for one he doesn’t want any one to know and two his brother is stationed there. Then over the weekend I was telling my mom my friend has four wheeler for sale and he wants me and him to buy it. Oh and he asked me how I was this weekend I told him ok. He said just okay. I told him what do you want my to say. I asked him how his new relationship was going and he said not good. He has told my mom twice he wasn’t happy and she asked if he loved the other woman and he said no.I just don’t know what to do???


This man has left you and your kids and you are asking what to do?

1. go see a lawyer now and get your ducks in a row
2. pack up all his ****, put it in the garage and tell him to collect by a certain day. Change the locks (check with lawyer first)
3. Go find yourself a therapist to see why you would let your POS WH treat you like this
4. tell everyone and I mean everyone what he is doing, his family, your family, all your friends, etc shame him to hell and back
5. Tell the other spouse also
6. Do not buy any assets etc. with this man
7. why is your mum even talking to this POS?
8. Keep a record of all the evidence, dates, actions, etc. When you have things sorted out legally, let the service know what he has been up to. He will have no job, but that is something you need to strategize around. Blow up his world, where is your righteous anger?


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

YOU need to expose this affair to all -- you've already exposed to the POSOW's husband, so why NOT expose to your/his family and friends - especially your Mom since he seems to talk with her a lot.
I certainly WOULD NOT go camping with him and your family -- TELL them he is cheating (show them evidence if you need to), and call off the trip.
I would cease to talk about ANYTHING future related (buying a 4 wheeler).
@aine has it correct -- follow those steps!


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

aine said:


> This man has left you and your kids and you are asking what to do?
> 
> 1. go see a lawyer now and get your ducks in a row
> 2. pack up all his ****, put it in the garage and tell him to collect by a certain day. Change the locks (check with lawyer first)
> ...


This is bad advice. You can't put someone's personal possessions in the garage and change the locks of a residence he lives in. Bad form and asking for HUGE legal problems. Affair or not.


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## FlaviusMaximus (Jan 10, 2012)

Kc79 said:


> I asked him how his new relationship was going and he said not good.


So unless I read this wrong, as a wife, you're asking him about how his affair is going and he responds, not good?
I can't even decipher just how many ways and on how many levels that's wrong. I'd imagine he is playing you for a fool because you're acting like one. 
You are enabling a habitual cheater. I guess you'll have to have a talk with yourself and ask why you accept and enable it?

If you do go through with a divorce, you should get your head straight so you don't end up in the same place next time.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

I think you know what to do. Divorce him and be free of this lying cheating man.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Livvie said:


> This is bad advice. You can't put someone's personal possessions in the garage and change the locks of a residence he lives in. Bad form and asking for HUGE legal problems. Affair or not.


Read what I wrote properly i.e. "check with a lawyer first."


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