# Any Advice please?



## Too Tired-I Can't Even (Feb 11, 2021)

I married last January. I met my husband through a professional matchmaker. This is normal in Asian indian families.

We've never lived together as Covid happened before we could buy a house. We each still live with our families. I was a virgin until my marriage night and that's unusual as I'm 30+.

We keep arguing. Some of it is distance related. I also gained 2 stones in lockdown making me unhappy. Normally slim size 8/10.

Idk if our relationship is normal as I've never had a boyfriend before. We argue alot. Sometimes money. He can be emotionally cold. I might text and say I miss him. He will txt back saying I miss the good times we had.

My parents had an abusive marriage, domestic violence, thankfully ending in divorce.

My husband keeps saying we should discuss what we will do if the relationship breaks up. I find this really negative and maybe self-fulfilling prophecy. I tried to talk to him about it, but he called me names last time we spoke..like 'petty, ridiculous, hissy fit' etc.

I do stand up for myself. I'm not a doormat but it gets heated emotionally.

We have been talking recently if we should split up or stay married and move in together?

My sister says it doesn't bode well and cut my losses. I worry about leaving it too late to have a child. But I don't know if I could be a single mom as my mom has a mental illness and my father beat us alot. Any advice would be appreciated please. Sorry for the long post, idk if this is a normal relationship or hope for the marriage?

Thank you.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

It's been a year and you still do not live together? No it's not a normal relationship. How long did you date before getting married? Don't have a kid if you don't want to be a single mom, at this point the future is way to uncertain. If you really want to try and make it work you should move in with each other ASAP even if you move in with family. It's probably not a great idea to buy property together at this point either. Maybe just rent an apartment and see how it goes.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Too Tired-I Can't Even said:


> I married last January. I met my husband through a professional matchmaker. This is normal in Asian indian families.
> 
> We've never lived together as Covid happened before we could buy a house. We each still live with our families. I was a virgin until my marriage night and that's unusual as I'm 30+.
> 
> ...


I think you should not move in and just end this. He doesn't sound very nice. One reason you've let it kind of go by is because your parents were bad role models so it's hard for you to know where to draw the boundary. But you did rebel against that, and you should resolve that that will never happen to you. And this guy is already making you feel bad and being cold. Seriously, a random guy like this is not a good way to meet someone. You need to know them and see if they're nice or not. You only have this life in this body, so you don't want to waste it being miserable. If getting out is an option, by all means run! Then conduct your life as you see fit. But you make the calls. Not your messed up parents.


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