# I Don't Eff-n Believe it!!!



## WTSM (Aug 27, 2011)

We had our counseling session today with my W who went to her mother's house to heal. In just a week we have been dealing with the issue of whether or not we spend time as a family with the Kids and do dinner together. I told her if we are separated than we shouldn't do things as a family because it is confusing to me and to our kids. In counseling today she shared the fact that we were not technically separated, that she need to get out of the house - go to her mom's house - and heal. The counselor (who is not for separations) thought that she was just going to heal but was shocked to hear that the kids were being split 50/50. They both tried to convince me that my wife and I are not separated. What are we than. She doesn't know if and when she is coming back home. She doesn't know if she is in love with me. She needs time to heal so she can sort out her feelings. How is this not a separation. What is it than. Can anyone help me sort through this. I Don't Eff-n Believe it!!!


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## Sod (Aug 20, 2011)

If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck - its a duck!
How could what you are going through not be considered separated? Are you living together? - NO
Are you doings things as a family daily? - NO
Do you share things about your day? - NO
Are your kids exposed to a loving household with both parents? - NO


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

Perhaps you should see if your counselor has a partner in accounting who doesn't believe in taxes...at least you could make a little money off the BS being dished out...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

get a better counselor


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## sprinter (Jul 25, 2011)

In my state if you stop having sex, you're separated even if you are in the same bed. Legally, you're separated.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

none the less constructive abandonment is not grounds for divorce in any of the 50 no fault divorce states in the USA.


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## ArmyofJuan (Dec 29, 2010)

Whether she admits it or not you are separated.

In her current state, the more you try to work things out with her the more she will resist you. You need to give her space, lots of it, and don't reassure her you will be waiting on her. 

It's a push/pull dynamic, the more you want the M the less she does BUT it works both ways. The less you appear to want it the more she will want it back. 

She lost the passion for you in the M. To get it back you have to make her want you again and you do that by basically dumping her. Nothing stirs up feelings like being rejected.

I wished it didn't work this way but it's human nature. People's emotions make then do stupid and irrational things which is why doing the opposite of what you feel like you should do tends to work.

Also 90% of these cases there's an OM involved whether you believe she is capable of cheating or not. It's very rare for a woman to up and leave like that without a guy in the background for emotional support.


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## JustAGirl (Oct 1, 2010)

sprinter said:


> In my state if you stop having sex, you're separated even if you are in the same bed. Legally, you're separated.


DAYUM! I've been separated for-ever then! LOL


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## HurtinginTN (Feb 22, 2011)

sprinter said:


> In my state if you stop having sex, you're separated even if you are in the same bed. Legally, you're separated.





JustAGirl said:


> DAYUM! I've been separated for-ever then! LOL


My thoughts exactly!


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