# Wife wants to Leave & Seperated-Help



## confusedguy1909 (Jan 17, 2014)

I am desperate and exhausted. I have been married for 18 years with 3 kids: 18, 17 and 14. Last week, we have the final straw. My wife decided want to Leave because I am abusive and She hates me very much.
I have choked her once during the fight and hit her once as I snap on argument. To have sex, I have to almost like rape her and force her to have sex with me. I have asked forgiveness for all my mistakes; 
She is about 40 years old and like to party with her friend on ladies night out excuses to clubbing and bars. The last weekend, she came back at 7AM Sunday morning, which really piss me off. She said she is not happy in the marriage and looking for happiness with her friends.

I have asked for prrofessional counselling but she refused.
What to do? |
Confusedguy1909


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

have YOU gotten IC? it sounds as if it is much needed


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## AlmostYoung (May 24, 2012)

Ouch, Cguy, it sounds like you've made quite a mess of this M, and now W is DONE.

Advice: Don't pursue, don't beg, don't ask her to work on the M, don't offer words. *Actions* speak much louder than words.

D takes time, so use this time well to SHOW the new you. You still have a shot here.

I agree with Chuck... seek IC to fix YOU.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Confused what she was doing on gnos was wrong but you DO NOT choke anyone except in self defense man.
All you can do is go to anger mgmt. classes and ic.
That's all you can do for now.


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

with her running the roads, do you even want things to work

find ways to outlet your anger

nothing wrong with being a hothead

just channel it


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Chuck71 said:


> with her running the roads, do you even want things to work
> 
> find ways to outlet your anger
> 
> ...


Start working out hard at least 3 days a week free weights.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Sorry, but I will never help someone get a woman back whom he has choked or hit or 'practically' raped. Maybe you could, after your divorce, spend the rest of your life making up for what you did by getting therapy and volunteering at abuse shelters.


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## kitty2013 (Dec 6, 2013)

My ex gave me threats and treated me badly. I ran away from him even in my dreams. I hope you know that you have done some serious damages to your wife. 
You should leave your wife alone. Please......


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## yolo62 (Dec 19, 2013)

A fixed period of separation (say 6-12 months) is the best thing to do! After that, if she wants to compromise/reconcile, she will come back to you. If not, you should accept it and move on, for the sake of both of you.

In the meantime, you should also take time to reflect on your past behaviour and make no more "forceful" mistakes on women you may have relationship with in the future.

Hope my comment helps!


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