# I want to throw stuff!!!



## TheSecretGarden14 (Feb 7, 2014)

It's been a frustrating week. H and I had a wonderful week reconnecting. Then, today, BAM! Road block from hell. 
(Brief at synopsis: H left in Jan. Steadfastly denied any involvement with neighbor "friend". Admitted in march that they had one night of drunk sex in the month of march. We have been married almost 6.years together 8. Two children, 5 & 4 months.)
I was good by trying to be his friend. I genuinely want to be his friend again regardless of.what happens to us as a married couple. I forgive him for his actions and the aftermath. 
I was bad by attempting to appeal to his sexuality. It didn't get physical, but I honestly just wanted some angry action. The drawing closer part was a bonus. However, he now thinks I was trying to "trap" him. Which wasn't the case.
It was like seeing the finish line ahead only to trip over my own feet and face plant in dog poo. 

Am I just an idiot? Is there any hope that one day I won't want him so badly? I'm not desperate by no means. I'm an old soul (only 30) and feel that if you love someone, it ain't over until it's over. So, until both of us sign the divorce papers I will always feel I have a chance. Can someone please give me some tough love? A wake up call? Lie to me and whisper sweet nothings?


----------



## myfutureisgone (Mar 4, 2014)

You are not an idiot. I think many of us hope that there's a chance. I am trying to follow something called the 180, which is really helpful. People here have had great advice about moving on, because ultimately that is the only thing you have control of right now. I get not wanting to give up. Personally, I see that hope as toxic. Every day I think about how I promised till death do us part, and neither of us is dead so it's not over. But it is. At least for now, it is. As much as you want to be his friend, you have to be your friend first. Focus on yourself and the kids.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SteveK (Mar 15, 2014)

If you want to know the horrors of not letting go read my threads.

The real nitty gritty is in the members only but, you will,see what can happen if you fight to hard and don't just do the 180


----------

