# Saying goodbye to your loses



## d1221 (Mar 13, 2011)

Hi Everyone,

I just wanted to share this from the emails I get from Divorcecare. I will be honest, I am still working through a lot of this but reading the information below makes sense about how we may need to get things out to help us move forward. (I just wanted to share).

Saying Good-bye to Your Losses
Day 41

People in grief must learn to say good-bye to what they have lost. Saying good-bye is not a one-time experience, but there will come a day when final good-byes are said.

H. Norman Wright offers practical advice to help you say good-bye to your losses: "You have to work through your feelings—especially anger. Write a 'non-mailed' angry letter, and pour out your heart in it. Then sit with an empty chair placed in front of you, put the person's name there, and read the letter out loud. 

"Another idea is to write a letter of forgiveness. It might be, 'Dear So and So, I forgive you for the way you betrayed me.' Then write the first rebuttal that comes to mind. Keep doing this, whether it's ten or twenty times, until you come to the place where there are no more rebuttals and you can say, 'I forgive you for . . .'" 

Mr. Wright continues, "It's when the good-byes are said that you can turn the corner and move ahead." 

You may not want to say good-bye, but this is necessary at some point in your recovery process. Saying good-bye does not mean you are closing yourself off from the other person. You are saying good-bye to what you have lost, to the things of the past, and to a relationship that is over. You are experiencing closure to the grief, blame, anger, and emotions that are behind you. A new way of living is before you that may or may not include your former spouse. 

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" (2 Corinthians 5:17).

Lord, a new way of living is before me. My life will be filled with new joys and experiences. Teach me to say good-bye to the old. Amen.


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

d1221: Thank you for this post, it had insight.

Everything helps that helps.

We need to grow and that is what you wrote about. Again, thank you because that is what I want to do: Grow


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

Very good, info thanks for sharing.


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