# Needing advice and prayer.



## M.sab

Hello,

I've got a problem that's been keeping me up at night the past few months. Hopefully someone can offer advice.
I've always been a "play by the rules" kind of guy. Taking care of responsibilities as soon as they appear. Working towards goals non-stop until I fail, succeed, or the situation changes without an outcome. I value being respected and respectable to a fault. That's where my problem seems to come into play. 

My wife of two years (dated for 6) has been in college for nearly 10 years. She's failed the same class multiple times keeping her from her career goals. She's currently not got a job. She struggles with depression due to her failures but refuses to learn from them. I have dealt with depression at a much deeper level and worked my way through it alone. She's on medication for it and still just gives up when she feels down. She doesn't try to fight it at all. She constantly makes excuses, pretends to feel ill, and goes back to bed instead of to class. But as soon as our friends want to hang out, she's fine.

I have been supportive for so long but I'm getting to a point where I no longer care. I feel like I'm raising a teenager instead of living with a spouse my own age. I have lost all respect for her and am no longer attracted to her because of it. I told her to seek help, or move back in with her parents. She said she'd look for someone to talk to a week ago but has yet to put any effort into it. 

To make matters worse, she's asexual. Which I knew before we were married, but as someone with a low sex drive myself, it wasn't a concern. But at one point we didn't have sex for 6 months. We barely even touched.

I'm not miserable. But I'm unhappy. I know she is too but not with our marriage. She's unhappy with herself. I try to offer support and advice for dealing with her depression and anxiety and I get no response. Just more of the same. I offer her advice on succeeding but she just gets mad at me, tells me to leave her alone, and ignores me. She'll continue with the same bad habits until she fails again then tell me I was right but the next time around the cycle repeats in exactly the same way. 

If anyone has any insight or advice, I'd love to hear it. I don't want a divorce. I want to fix our marriage. Divorce, to me, is giving up. I clearly have issue with that. Please pray for us. My prayers seem to fall on deaf ears the past few years.


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## arbitrator

* @M.sab ~ please consider both yourself and your wife deeply placed in my prayers!

Unless cheating, spousal or child abuse, albeit it mental or physical, is involved, divorce and even infidelity itself, always seems to be the cowards way out of a committed marriage!

Have the two of you actually sought out a good Christian psychological counselor? I'd highly recommend it! *


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## Luvher4life

I would advise you to get her doctor to try another anti-depressant and see if she responds better to it. I would also try and seek out a good Christian psychological counselor or therapist for her, and even a marriage counselor for the both of you post haste.


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