# Stamina Issues



## amorous_1 (Nov 29, 2010)

Occasionally my wife wants me to thrust hard and fast but I can't seem to do it for long, continuously, without going over the edge. I have read suggestions about slowing down, pulling out and squeezing the tip. Both of these methods only help for 1 minute max before I am having problems again and they disrupt the pace my wife wants me to maintain. I have tried thinking about disgusting images, bank accounts, etc. but again the thrusting becomes to much. I hate condoms and the gels. Not digging either of those ideas much. I have read about trying other positions but every one we get into that she wants it hard and fast in seems to do the same thing to me. If I masturbate earlier in the evening it doesn't seem to help much and if I do it right before we have sex then it makes it hard to get excited for me.

I'm not a two pump chump but I feel kind of disappointed in myself here and am running out of ideas. I can only make it about 3-5 minutes MAX which to me seems pretty damn terrible.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Can you maintain your erection after ejaculation? If you can, then you can continue on for awhile longer until your wife reaches her O. If needed, I can continue on for another 3 or 4 minutes after I go.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

I agree with plan 9 above.

If your refractory period is short,[ 5 - 10 mins]
You can allow yourself to come, continue making out until you get hard again, and then continue.
But you should communicate this to your partner first so that she knows after the first climax you can still go another round, and she would not be disappointed.


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## IndyTMI (Oct 26, 2012)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Can you maintain your erection after ejaculation? If you can, then you can continue on for awhile longer until your wife reaches her O. If needed, I can continue on for another 3 or 4 minutes after I go.


This. ^^^^^
An old girlfriend from my past would do this to me...make me lose my load and just keep on thrusting until she was done (cowgirl). I was ready to just have my cigarette and fall asleep, but she wasn't about to stop until she had hers. I never knew it was possible to keep going after ejaculation, she proved otherwise.


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

may not be as satisfying to you but for hard and fast thrusts over a sustained period of time, might consider using a condom which can your sensitivity but prolong what she desires. A steady diet of condom use may not be the solution but use now and then might give her what she desires.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

IndyTM said:


> This. ^^^^^
> An old girlfriend from my past would do this to me...make me lose my load and just keep on thrusting until she was done (cowgirl). I was ready to just have my cigarette and fall asleep, but she wasn't about to stop until she had hers. I never knew it was possible to keep going after ejaculation, she proved otherwise.


My wife occasionally does that to me too. My wife can make it feel like my tallywacker is locked in a vice and that can make me go pretty fast sometimes. When I was younger I could ejaculate twice without uncoupling if I wanted to. I didn't do that very often because it does get a little sensitive after awhile.


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## amorous_1 (Nov 29, 2010)

For me it gets soft pretty quick afterwards. I can keep going but within a minute or so it's a semi.

F me. Maybe there isn't much I can do about this then. :/


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> My wife occasionally does that to me too. My wife can make it feel like my tallywacker is locked in a vice and that can make me go pretty fast sometimes. When I was younger I could ejaculate twice without uncoupling if I wanted to. I didn't do that very often because it does get a little sensitive after awhile.


My wife does the same.
Sometimes after ejaculation, [ if she's on top] she just relax for a few minuted , and then starts squeezing him back to life.
But yes, it takes much longer for a second climax, because it does become a bit too sensitive!


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Riptide said:


> For me it gets soft pretty quick afterwards. I can keep going but within a minute or so it's a semi.
> 
> F me. Maybe there isn't much I can do about this then. :/


No sir.

I think the people who answered so far are giving you excellent advice.
You have to work with your wife on this.
It does work.


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## east2west (Oct 19, 2012)

Start with a very slow steady rhythm that you can maintain for some time. You will start to get a tolerance to her stimulation after a little while. Then increase the pace a little bit but keep it steady. Increasing the pace will bring you closer to orgasm but not so much that you actually cum. Then as you continue the same steady pace you will eventually find your orgasm getting farther away again. When you are comfortable increase the pace again. The trick is to start slow enough and give yourself enough time to adapt at each pace, while never slowing down from a pace that you already established.

Eventually you will be pounding the hell out of her if that is what she wants. Just make sure you keep something in reserve for the very end or you might find yourself unable to finish. There is a reason why pornstars always have to finish themselves off at the end of a long scene.


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## controlledchaos (Oct 14, 2012)

As ridiculous as it sounds, I've actually started doing kegels for this  
I read it on another extensive thread on the same topic (these two should probably be merged I guess?). 

It was a bit of advice there and I read up on it and it seems to be solid advice. It's only been about a week so I don't expect any results yet, but supposedly strengthening the PE muscle [google it] can help with control. 

Other than that, one thing we do sometimes is get her off first with other forms of stimulation, and as she's not the multiple O's type of lady, I can then go wild inside her and finish when I please. 
It's not ideal, but at least she gets a bit of something out of it.


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

If it's occassionally she wants this, why not just use the gels or condoms occassionally when she wants it like that? If you can get a clue she wants something longer/harder, gear up ahead of time for her.


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## controlledchaos (Oct 14, 2012)

kingsfan said:


> If it's occassionally she wants this, why not just use the gels or condoms occassionally when she wants it like that? If you can get a clue she wants something longer/harder, gear up ahead of time for her.


She's not a fan of the condoms. Mood killer. I don't mind so much personally. 

Re. the creams, it's honestly not SUCH an issue that I would go to the lengths of rubbing something on me to desensitize my goods. 

Call me old fashioned but I'd be a little afraid of trying that, and she'd freak out if it things went on for toooooo long and I couldn't produce the money shot.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

controlledchaos said:


> As ridiculous as it sounds, I've actually started doing kegels for this
> I read it on another extensive thread on the same topic (these two should probably be merged I guess?).
> 
> It was a bit of advice there and I read up on it and it seems to be solid advice. It's only been about a week so I don't expect any results yet, but supposedly strengthening the PE muscle [google it] can help with control.
> ...




Not sure about others but what I have found with kegels is that they do not stop the orgasm but lock it away. I can then have a full orgasm later. However I do sometimes find that doing that can leave an uncomfortable 'sore' feeling in the 'pipes' the next day.
For that reason I do prefer to just hold back as best as I can.

But agree, Mrs Wysh also has this thing about maintaining a steady rhythm in the same position, especially for seconds or thirds but it is so damn difficult at times.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Caribbean Man said:


> My wife does the same.
> Sometimes after ejaculation, [ if she's on top] she just relax for a few minuted , and then starts squeezing him back to life.
> But yes, it takes much longer for a second climax, because it does become a bit too sensitive!


This Sat AM the wife and I had some hot sex. After I ejaculated, my wife wanted rubbed so I stood up next to the bed while she lied on her back so that I can rub her clit and play with her breasts. She started stroking me and I got very close to a full erection in about 1 - 2 min after I got off. Sorry for being so graphic, but I encourage the OP to give this a try. 

I'd try either having spooning sex, have her lay on her stomach and enter her or doggie style. After you're done, have her start stroking you again to get you hard and then go to town on her in missionary. Or...do whatever positions you want but at least try to let the missus get you back up there after the first time you ejaculate and go for round 2.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Riptide said:


> Occasionally my wife wants me to thrust hard and fast but I can't seem to do it for long, continuously, without going over the edge. I have read suggestions about slowing down, pulling out and squeezing the tip. Both of these methods only help for 1 minute max before I am having problems again and they disrupt the pace my wife wants me to maintain. I have tried thinking about disgusting images, bank accounts, etc. but again the thrusting becomes to much. I hate condoms and the gels. Not digging either of those ideas much. I have read about trying other positions but every one we get into that she wants it hard and fast in seems to do the same thing to me. If I masturbate earlier in the evening it doesn't seem to help much and if I do it right before we have sex then it makes it hard to get excited for me.
> 
> I'm not a two pump chump but I feel kind of disappointed in myself here and am running out of ideas. I can only make it about 3-5 minutes MAX which to me seems pretty damn terrible.


A good friend taught me about masturbation at age 6...I have been doing it ever since......I would cum so quickly I started changing tempo, pressure, etc to make it last longer....By the time I graduated to the real thing, I had really good control, and still do....If she cums in 5 minutes, great, if it takes a half hour or longer...even better.......

To last longer....Practice, practice, practice.....


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## IndyTMI (Oct 26, 2012)

Woodchuck said:


> A good friend taught me about masturbation at age 6...I have been doing it ever since......I would cum so quickly I started changing tempo, pressure, etc to make it last longer....By the time I graduated to the real thing, I had really good control, and still do....If she cums in 5 minutes, great, if it takes a half hour or longer...even better.......
> 
> To last longer....Practice, practice, practice.....


From what I remember, I masturbated from toddler age. My mother would yell in my room for me to stop wiggling. I humped my diaper on the bed. I masturbated by rubbing/dry humping the bed or pillows. I never touched my penis masturbating until I joined the navy at age 18. Talk about a change in sensation. Once I began using my hand, I can conjure one up on about a minute if I want. Usually, I try to make it last for 4 - 5 mins anyway.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

Just for the record not everyone has a refractory period of 1-4 minutes.........in fact medically speaking that's almost laughably short!! Most men (younger men) take 15-20 minutes and that usually decreases with age.

So, telling this guy to just keep going etc etc do you really think he hasn't tried that? It goes soft so he stops.......!!

OP-I suggest toys to the equation!!!!


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

OhGeesh said:


> Just for the record not everyone has a refractory period of 1-4 minutes.........in fact medically speaking that's almost laughably short!! Most men (younger men) take 15-20 minutes and that usually decreases with age.
> 
> So, telling this guy to just keep going etc etc do you really think he hasn't tried that? It goes soft so he stops.......!!
> 
> OP-I suggest toys to the equation!!!!



According to some studies, 18-year-old males have a refractory period of about 15 minutes, while those in their 70s take about 20 hours, with the average for all men being about a half-hour.[9] *Although rarer, some males exhibit no refractory period or a refractory period lasting less than 10 seconds.[10] A scientific study to successfully document natural, fully ejaculatory, multiple orgasms in an adult man was conducted at Rutgers University in 1995. During the study, six fully ejaculatory orgasms were experienced in 36 minutes, with no apparent refractory period.[1][11] Later, P. Haake et al. observed a single male individual producing multiple orgasms without elevated prolactin response*.[12]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Refractory_period_(sex)


*The refractory period*
Most men do not know of their changing “Refractory Period” as they age.
And women are not aware of this change in men either. The refractory
period refers to that period of time between one’s last ejaculation at
orgasm and the next.
In a young man in his late teens or early 20s, the refractory period can
be as short as two-five minutes. They can have an ejaculation now and in
five minutes time have yet another orgasm and ejaculation. Frequent bouts
of sexual intercourse culminating in orgasm/ejaculations are therefore
very common when one is young

http://www.antiguaobserver.com/?p=74896

_It all depends on your health , level of arousal and your mindset._

I have done it many times in my 20's & 30's, and still do it sometimes though not as often.


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## amorous_1 (Nov 29, 2010)

OhGeesh said:


> So, telling this guy to just keep going etc etc do you really think he hasn't tried that? It goes soft so he stops.......!!
> 
> OP-I suggest toys to the equation!!!!


Exactly I already explained I can't keep going for long after. It's a semi in a minute or so. And it takes a while, long enough to be an issue, before it is ready again. All of the ideas I've seen so far either don't work or are disruptive because they require stop/slow way down or pull it out completely.


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## Jack I (Nov 23, 2012)

Riptide said:


> I If I masturbate earlier in the evening it doesn't seem to help much and if I do it right before we have sex then it makes it hard to get excited for me.
> 
> I'm not a two pump chump but I feel kind of disappointed in myself here and am running out of ideas. I can only make it about 3-5 minutes MAX which to me seems pretty damn terrible.


I don't like the "masturbate before sex starts" method.Also everybody always says,"After 15 minutes go for round two,in round two you'll last longer".I hate that!In round two I'm not nearly as excited...Personally I like it to be a decent amount of time between the times I have sex..........You are lasting 5 minutes?Sounds alright to me...But I only last between 1-2 minutes...


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Riptide said:


> For me it gets soft pretty quick afterwards. I can keep going but within a minute or so it's a semi.
> 
> F me. Maybe there isn't much I can do about this then. :/


Have you tried doing it again in 1/2 or 1 hour? Then you're more likely to be able to get fully stiff, yet not be quick on the trigger.


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## coupdegrace (Oct 15, 2012)

No condoms, no lubricants... Ever try a c0ck ring? That might do the trick.

I find it odd that we can discuss things of a sexual nature, but can't use the verbiage.


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## IndyTMI (Oct 26, 2012)

I watched one of those late night programs on HBO and the porn star said to also have your mate tug on your balls before you are too far gone and that will definitely make you last longer.


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

What positions is that for Indy? I assume that would be pretty hard in missionary.


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## IndyTMI (Oct 26, 2012)

kingsfan said:


> What positions is that for Indy? I assume that would be pretty hard in missionary.


Actually not quite sure...

It was Katie Morgan's Sex Tips 2:


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## srvmatrix (Feb 1, 2013)

I would suggest to check out superman stamina in action instructional video:

Superman Stamina in action*|*free sex how to videos | sex educational guides | squirting orgasm mastery | advanced sex positions | secrets of superman stamina

Actually there is nothing new in the tips he said while doing the demonstration, but it's worth to remember and do practice yourself.

When you are "in action", try to recall the steps then follow. I find it works for myself. It will increase your duration as you do practicing.

Best positions are dominating ones (missionary or doggy) and you can skip the ridding if that's hard to control.


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## Jeradsjunk (Sep 15, 2012)

Biggest thing is to not allow your mind to get involved. If I start worrying about cumming to quick, that's exactly what happens. Don't get to close to your tipping point. Pound and then back off before you get close. Slow down for a few minutes and then repeat. I was able to build great stamina by doing this. It takes time though.


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## SmithWood (Mar 6, 2013)

A men who used lubrication in conjunction with condoms lasted longer in bed than men who didn't. simply keep in mind to use water-based or silicone-based lubrication once using condoms.


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## DontTakeTheGirl (Dec 5, 2012)

My refract time is like 15 minutes, grab a piss, and a smoke, maybe a drink and then come on back.. but i need heavy and I mean heavy concentrated stimulation in order to regain an erection. Oral sex, or atleast some sort of mental arousal, the physical arousal just wont do it. Then I tend to go for a long time, but I may lose my erection depending on the amount of stimulation. My wife never tends to want to go again - I think she doesnt want to deal with it. She's weird like that, but that's an entirely different thread.. therapist discussion.


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