# Wife won't come back. What do I do?



## mr.mike (Jan 25, 2013)

My wife left a month ago for an extended but planned family visit in another state, but now she won’t come back home, which she just told me a week before she was originally planning to return.

We moved from living near her family and friends where she is now to be closer to mine 7 months ago. She originally wanted to move here, and it made sense for us financially because the cost of living is much cheaper here. But, she has never felt accepted by my family and has been depressed since moving here. This goes back to before we were even married 3 years ago, when my mother and brother questioned her and our relationship. Now, at almost every family gathering, my wife will be set off and angered by comments that my family makes, which aren’t even intended to hurt her. She stopped going to most family gatherings, and I’ve been stuck in the middle between my family’s constant questions about her and her not wanting to do anything with them. I’ve just made excuses like she’s not feeling well. It’s also hard because I’m stressed financially and not the happiest person to be around lately, and she doesn’t work so she’s around me all the time. She was seeing a counselor for months before she left to deal with her depression, which she won’t discuss with me.

I’ve been insecure about my wife leaving for the long family visit, mainly because I know she’s been unhappy here and feared that she may not come back. Also, I knew she’d be going out with her single friend who likes to get drunk and hook up with random men almost every time I’ve been out with her. So, I’ve questioned my wife about where she’s been and it has led to her getting angry with me when I call her, thinking I have to know her every move. She has become more distant each time I talk to her, and said that she wants space to figure out what happened to her and the person she used to be. I also noticed that she deleted her fashion blog and videos that I helped her with that she’s been working on for the past year, which she said she didn’t have time for anymore. I asked her sister what was going on and told her about my wife’s anger towards me, and her sister told me that she’s really depressed and unhappy, but not to worry because she’s acting like that with everyone there and has good and bad moments. I tried to give her space by not contacting her for a few days.

Two days ago my wife told me that she was coming here to talk about a lot of things, but she’s not planning on staying. She said that she’s made decisions during the time and space I’ve given her, but she wouldn’t elaborate. I’m really worried about losing her, and that she may not love me anymore. I told her that I don’t want her to give up on us, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make things better, including marriage counseling. She makes impulsive decisions, like deleting the blog and her fb a few years ago. I just hope she doesn’t make one with our marriage and delete me.

Please give me any suggestions on how to handle our “talk” and our future together.

Thank you


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## zappy88200 (Dec 6, 2012)

What a world we live in brother, where women act so irrational and impulsive that is beyond question.

You had all the rights to ask what was she doing when she went out with her sloppy friend and she got angry by this, What the hell.

The more I read about these kind of women the more I loose my trust on woman.

Best thing for you is to get back in shape, do whatever you can do to make yourself more attaractive and let her go for now.

Don't contact her, don't beg or plead just set her free.

She will come back, I guarantee.

Zappy


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## MrsOldNews (Feb 22, 2012)

*Re: Re: Wife won't come back. What do I do?*



zappy88200 said:


> What a world we live in brother, where people act so irrational and impulsive that is beyond question.
> 
> You had all the rights to ask what was she doing when she went out with her sloppy friend and she got angry by this, What the hell.
> 
> ...


With a little editing that's good advice Zappy.I just took out the woman hating bs 
Also a bit sad to hear someone so jaded.

And to the op: Depression can cause a person to act irrationally. So I wouldn't give up on her just yet. Although her way of going about things was quite immature. Also I think most people wouldn't be to happy if their significant others parent or sibling questioned their relationship in that fashion. 

Still nothing your mother or brother did warrants your wife to runaway from you. If she won't go to marriage counseling, if she won't attempt anything in hopes of improving the relationship, then there's nothing left to improve. 

If that is the case then you need to cut your losses asap and start working on the healing process. 

My sympathies,
Mrs. Oldnews


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## zappy88200 (Dec 6, 2012)

MrsOldNews - One thing I have realized is that every woman has some inch of crazy in them.

no matter what, they have the capability to act so immaturely/irrationaly out of the blue.

I was with my wife for 4 years and still have no idea who she was?

Two things that can never be measured:-
(a) Depth of an Ocean
(b) Heart of a woman

Zappy


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## Po12345 (Apr 28, 2011)

zappy88200 said:


> MrsOldNews - One thing I have realized is that every woman has some inch of crazy in them.
> 
> no matter what, they have the capability to act so immaturely/irrationaly out of the blue.
> 
> ...


Zappy, I normally agree with what you post but you aren't right with this at all. 

This isn't about men or women this is about people who allow the weakness of their basic instincts to overcome the moral obligations of commitment that they have made to another person in their lives, for whatever the reason may be.

All you have to do is read the threads by the women in this section to see just how incredibly stupid men can be, as well as women. It isn't about gender at all, it is about someone being hurtful, cruel, immature, selfish, and deceitful, and willing to take everything that a well meaning good human being has to offer, then stabbing them in the heart, twisting the knife, and leaving them for dead (emotionally and spiritually). 

Don't make this a male or female thing, see it for what it is.


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## samjin (Feb 28, 2011)

zappy88200 said:


> MrsOldNews - One thing I have realized is that every woman has some inch of crazy in them.
> 
> no matter what, they have the capability to act so immaturely/irrationaly out of the blue.
> 
> ...


Zappy-When a woman loves she really loves. There is no limit and it is infinite depth. Be careful in breaking her heart next time . I agree this applies to both men and women and one cannot generalize...


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