# Should I accept this deal??



## amahoy1971 (Nov 12, 2012)

Please help me: husband is offering to pay the rest of the mortgage that is 340.000 (He will continue o pay monthly payments per 10 years). Instead of paying Child support and spousal support which will total 290.000)

I am buying him out 140000, which I don't have how to pay him. So I think he wants to pay the house so at the end of 10 years, when I sell the house for more price, I will be able to pay him 140.000 back. 
Because he is good in business and betrayed me I don't think there are good intentions. 
help me I don't want that on top he screw me more


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## Tomara (Jun 19, 2013)

I would take the deal but I would not pay him back and money once the house sells. That is your home, not his.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Okay so he pays the mortgage at 340 but you pay him back 140 net is 200. Child support is 290 so yes that is a win for him if my math is right.

Do you have an attorney?


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Tomara said:


> I would take the deal but I would not pay him back and money once the house sells. That is your home, not his.


What if the divorce papers say she has to?


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Is this "agreement" in writing? Is his name on the mortgage or your's? What is your current mortgage interest rate? Maybe he is planning to refinance and get a lower payment. How old are the kids? Will the house be paid off at the end of 10 years or will you be saddled with paying full support for minor kids and a house note with zero support? If he's business savy, the deal is probably in his favor. I'd suggest getting an attorney to firm this up. If it's just a verbal agreement, I wouldn't touch it. Even if he fully intends to do X,Y, and Z for you today, if his job changes or another woman and/or child comes into his life, his priorities will change. His obligations need to be legally enforceable.


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## BK23 (Apr 17, 2013)

I would not take this deal. Spousal support and child support can change as he makes more. Also, child support is not dischargeable, the way an agreement like this is.


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## amahoy1971 (Nov 12, 2012)

I will pay him back in ten year 140000, I will sell the house for 800000 plus.


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## amahoy1971 (Nov 12, 2012)

The separation agreement will be complete on Thursday and be seen by lawyer soon after that.


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

I wouldn't take it. What will do you do should your husband decide to file for bankruptcy the day after your divorce is final?


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## amahoy1971 (Nov 12, 2012)

after all is done, I plan refinance and pay less..maybe.
I have to find out the interest rate. kids are 12 and 14
At the end of 10 years the house will be pay off.
Yes this will be written soon by mediator and seen by lawyer.
he did a vasectomy 2 weeks ago...I don't think he plans to have more kids.
because the amount of child support and spousal support is equal to the house monthly payments, he said I will be able to pay the monthly payments of the house. However; my kids will be 18 (the older in 4 years and de youngest in 6) so I think the rest of the time I wont be able to pay the monthly payment, that is 4 years at least.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Most judges will not permit these types of agreements. Do not sign until a competent attorney reviews it.
What happens if he defaults on the mortgage? Sure you can take him to court for contempt, but in the meantime you and the kids lose the house.
What happens to your children if the mortgage is paid off and they are still in their minority? What about college? What about health insurance?
What are you going to do if the housing market crashes again and you can't get what you are currently expecting out of the property?


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## amahoy1971 (Nov 12, 2012)

What could be a good deal guys please help me.

If you have read my problem, he slept with 10 prostitutes and live with one for about 3 weeks.
He is very remorseful and doing therapy etc, etc.... but I couldn't get over it.
I decided legally separate. 
I don't want to have debts. 
Co-owning the house is not a good option for him.
buy me out... I don't want to move the kids from the house
is close to my job and their schools.
I don't want he screw me.
This is a man that even playing game boards is very mean and win- oriented.


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## amahoy1971 (Nov 12, 2012)

Pluto2 said:


> Most judges will not permit these types of agreements. Do not sign until a competent attorney reviews it.
> What happens if he defaults on the mortgage? Sure you can take him to court for contempt, but in the meantime you and the kids lose the house.
> What happens to your children if the mortgage is paid off and they are still in their minority? What about college? What about health insurance?
> What are you going to do if the housing market crashes again and you can't get what you are currently expecting out of the property?


good questions...I will think about it. Yes a lawyer will review.
I don't want that he fools me. I am not good at math.
We will continue to pay RESP's for university.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

It sounds like you have a lot of equity in the house. So in 10 years when you sell the house, you sell it for $800,000. Then you pay him $140,000, and you keep $660,000

Is he getting a lot of cash right now? Is that why he's going along with you keeping the lion's share of the home equity?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Do you have a current appraisal on the house?


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## amahoy1971 (Nov 12, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Do you have a current appraisal on the house?


the house now cost 720000. 
However, what I am seeing is that he is playing with the CS and SS, which he will stop to pay 50% for the oldest in 4 years and the youngest in 6. Which means I wont have 3400 to make the payments for the last years. 
on top of that he will back to me asking for 140000. or I can say I wont give you the 140000 because that is the equivalent of that rest of the time (10 years).
I wont make more money in 10 years, I work in social work. He is a business guy, he will do way better. Men do financially well after divorce at long term.


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## amahoy1971 (Nov 12, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> It sounds like you have a lot of equity in the house. So in 10 years when you sell the house, you sell it for $800,000. Then you pay him $140,000, and you keep $660,000
> 
> Is he getting a lot of cash right now? Is that why he's going along with you keeping the lion's share of the home equity?


I cannot buy him out, he will start to live with his salary from zero.
140000 what I have to give him after equalization.

I don't want to be unfair....but he lived with a prostitute...can you imagine how pulverized I am???
It is hard to be rational. I do not want he takes advantage of me, I want that he lose something.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Your own attorney needs to do the negotiating; not you. DO NOT use the same attorney.

What are the other assets and how are they being divided? IRA, 401K, liquid savings, money market accounts? Will he agree to pay for their college expenses? There is a lot more to dividing assets than just a house.

He is losing something. A family. However - my attorney gave me a wonderful, unpleasant bit of advice: If you BOTH aren't happy with the arrangement, it's probably fair.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

amahoy1971 said:


> I don't want to be unfair....but he lived with a prostitute...can you imagine how pulverized I am???
> It is hard to be rational. I do not want he takes advantage of me, I want that he lose something.


Oh be unfair. Hire a shark and go after him. Make your husband pay your legal fees too.

You've got more power than you think you do.

Use it.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

in 10 years the house is paid off with him making the payments.

How will you pay him the $140,000. Will you sell? Will you refinance to get the $140,000 and have low payments on the house?


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## amahoy1971 (Nov 12, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> in 10 years the house is paid off with him making the payments.
> 
> How will you pay him the $140,000. Will you sell? Will you refinance to get the $140,000 and have low payments on the house?


I will sell.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I assume that you will owe him $140,000 at the sale of the house whether or not he makes the payments. If that's the case then it's a good deal.

................................CS/SS only..........10 years of house payments

He pays you...............290,000.00..........340,000.00

You pay him at the 
sale of house
_{subtract here}_.............140,000.00..........140,000.00

So you really get.......150,000.00...........200,000.00

So if you take the deal he's offering, you end up with your house payments made for 10 years and, after you pay him his $140,000 at the sale (or refinance) of your home, you will have received $50,000 more than if he only pays CSS+SS

If you do not owe him the $140,000 with the CS/SS only option then him making the house payments is a rip-off to you because you lose $90,000.

I would not write it up though that he's making the house payment in lieu of child support.

Break the child support out as one item.
Break everything else written up separately as SS. 
And he gives you the $$ and you make the house payments. 

If you want help writing up how to break this out let me know. We can do it here on the open forum or you can PM me.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

I'm sorry the way the economy is going, how can you even be sure what your house will be worth in ten years. No way I woulda make a financial deal like that for the future value of a home in ten years.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

are you adjusting for inflation?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

what other marital property and debts are there? Retirements, investments?
I am not surprised he wanted to do mediation. No one calls you out in mediation.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

mablenc said:


> I'm sorry the way the economy is going, how can you even be sure what your house will be worth in ten years. No way I woulda make a financial deal like that for the future value of a home in ten years.


This is the scary thing... we don't know.

The house could lose a large part of it's value. Or it could sky rocket, or not.

The deal looks ok if things stay the same or get better. If he the house payments actually get paid and there is no foreclosure. If he does not become disabled or runs out of country.

I'd take as much cash and assets up front as possible to minimize the number of years that payments are made.


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## amahoy1971 (Nov 12, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> I assume that you will owe him $140,000 at the sale of the house whether or not he makes the payments. If that's the case then it's a good deal.
> 
> ................................CS/SS only..........10 years of house payments
> 
> ...


Elegirl, thank you....yes is an excellent breakdown.

I will look for an accountant ASAP.


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## amahoy1971 (Nov 12, 2012)

this is an area where people fight for the houses, til now looks very good in the market. the idea not matter what is that he pays the totality of the mortgage and he has to forget about His 140.000
My counsellor today told me this, and plus to ask for full custody and child support. I will see if this is possible.
Even she suggested if the "poor" guy don't have a decent place where to have my children so it will good idea for him to pay me rent.
Jajaja. 
well I guess that little ***** is gonna cost him a lot.
not mercy, he didn't have it for me and our family.

I told him today I want the total of the house paid by you....as you said 2 weeks ago....he opened his eyes....it's that what you want? I say oh yes....he took his shoes and left the house very defensive.
I didn't say anything about the 140 or the CS or custody....

later he called me in tears...and I told him show me remorse...surrend your guns. If you love me so much, so you will do whatever it takes to ensure I won't have to struggle.

I left everything for you...my country, my culture, my language, my profession, I don't have family here, no a lot of friends...and you did this to me????

I know , I know now I am enjoying it...but in my deep soul I am so scared and hurt.

...10 prostitutes , and living with the last one...???WTF.


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## amahoy1971 (Nov 12, 2012)

I meant tiger woods had 12 mistresses in 3.5 years, H had 11 in 8 months...does he have a hope for change...we will see but I won't be waiting...


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