# Traveling man: Wife out of sight, out of mind?



## cao428 (Jun 26, 2008)

I would like a traveling man's opinion...any of you that travel for work. I think when a man travels, his work is on his mind, but do you call your wife to check in or do you find that a chore to do? 

We've been married a long time (30 years), and I worry about a possible EA with a woman overseas still going on, not sure. But my husband works out of state for extended period...1-3 months. We can be comfortable at home and seem connected (it seems although not as much as I would like) and when he leaves he never calls me to ask how I am...been going on for a long time, although he calls me at my request. Still he says "what's up?" and then "well I gotta go" He still doesn't seem interested in me. I have a busy life and am pursuing a new career and losing weight...but maybe he hasn't been happy, even though I have been amicable and giving, and a good partner in bed....maybe he is board with me because I give too much. 

Do you feel you guys like the hunt, and are board with your wives at home? Do you cheat because of it? A good friend of mine said she asked her guy friend, and his comment was that traveling men cheat, it's just the way it is...then they go home to their wives. I certainly do not want this and am on the verge of leaving with feeling neglected for so long.

Any help and honesty out their from a man's point of view will be appreciated. I am thinking pursuing a new career and losing weight to change my person will help but I am not doing it for him, I am doing it for me.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

There are a litany of reasons why people cheat. Despite whatever the reason may be, very few people of either gender, believe those reasons are valid.

I have a friend that travels often. He truly believes that his marriage benefits from his absence. He does not call to check in regularly because there is no need to.

They are content with how their marriage functions. He has never confided any illicit activity to me during his business travel.

Your friend's friend, is full of beans. Traveling does NOT make men or women, choose to cheat. 

A dysfunctional or unsatisfactory relationship with one's spouse, is usually the point of origin for choosing infidelity. And as I said, that still doesn't make it either a legitimate, or wise choice.


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## frustr8dhubby (Dec 23, 2010)

Aye, travel in and of itself is not reason. I traveled quite a bit at my last job and wouldn't have considered it.

With the way things are right now, I might be a bit of an easier target unfortunately..  So to Deejo's point, it is the state of the marriage not the travel that matters..


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

Time apart can cause dissatisfaction. Affairs are rampant among the deployed military for example.


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

the ex and I hadn't spent a night apart in 10 years
he started a new job and started having to stay away two or three nights a week and was leaving at 6.30am and not getting back until 8.30pm
and I can date the start of the death of our marriage from then

because although I spoke to him every night I still didn't have a clue what he was actually up to

and I realised I was much happier when he wasn't there

so when he left (and after I'd cried for a bit about 13 years going down the drain and how much money I was going to have to pay him) it wasn't so bad after all

if there's something wrong in your marriage you can't fix it when you never see each other


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

For some reason I tend to get more horny when I'm travelling. However, I don't cheat, nor will I. I call my wife every day but that's just me. This last time we used Skype and video conferenced. You can guess how that went.


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## Lionelhutz (Feb 2, 2012)

I called daily when I travel. 

I haven't cheated while on the road despite having a sexless dicey marriage. But then again my business travel has always been very busy with little down time. I am usually working until I fall asleep


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

Since starting a new job about three years ago, I've been traveling more and more for work. Right now, I'm killing time before heading to the airport for my flight home on trip number seven since January. I don't so much call or text to "check in," but to let my wife and son know that I'm thinking of them. I'll text them a "good morning," maybe text some chit-chat with my wife through the day, call to say "goodnight" to our son, and usually talk to my wife a little later before she goes to bed. And, sometimes we'll have some...um...conversations via video, as well. ;-)

Sometimes our conversations through the day are more frequent than others. Just depends on how busy we are while I'm gone.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

i have travelled extensively for over 25 years, been married 22. i call every evening to check on things. travelling sucks IMHO, its not glamorous or exciting to me. i would never and have never even come close to thinking about cheating. i typically like to get into my room, watch tv and drink a few beers and go to sleep early. i travel to vegas, chicago, san diego and many other big cities so the night life is wide open, its just not for me


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## rider (Jun 22, 2009)

Don't cheat, but don't call home every day either, often we get back from dinner and drinks near midnight and I am out like a light. Wifey understands and is usually already asleep anyways.

Travelled since graduating college (sales), never strayed.


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## Hurra (Sep 13, 2009)

I don't understand how a married person can cheat. I understand the urge but the chance of getting a std is a possibility. Then you may take that back to your bed with your spouse. Condoms are not enough protection. Even a kiss could find you with HSV1, ie cold sores.


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

I travel overseas for work.
I usually call every day and I don't cheat.


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## joshbjoshb (Jul 11, 2011)

I think the question was not if you cheat or not while traveling, but do you still remember and care for your wife.

I don't travel often, but I go once a year or twice for few days out of town. I'd venture to say that it all depends what type of conversation my wife would like to have at the moment. You don't like to call home and hear just complaints, how everything is going wrong and the kids are misbehaving. I mean, of course tell me that, but if this is all the conversation is about than it really doesn't make me want to call. Then it becomes a chore - which I do anyways because THIS IS THE NORMAL THING TO DO - call your wife that was left home by herself. Also, sometimes I am in middle of an exciting program and really don't want to talk for too long, but my wife insists that she wants to talk then.

So I guess to summarize:

No, I don't forget about my wife, but I want to  when all our conversations are about her and showing zero interest in me.

And you have to remember that traveling is not that fun as you think. It can be pretty tiring and hard work, so never give him the feeling of "you are having fun while I suffer". Men hates that. At least me.


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## mommyofthree (Jan 7, 2012)

Dollystanford said:


> if there's something wrong in your marriage you can't fix it when you never see each other


SO True!!!!!!
My H works out of town weekdays and is home weekends.Its hard.We argue more since he took this job and since he is only home for 2 days I find I panic and want to fix any arguement before he leaves so we are not mad when he is away but I find I guess he likes time to think and im pushy due to time restraints and we end up arguing more and then hes gone again and we can't do anything till he comes back.

I beleive my H is faithful BUT BUT 2 of the other guys he is working with out of town are not and this also causes stress on our relationship since he has to be around the workers OW while out of town and it makes me angry!!!!!!

My H calls every night to say hi and see hoe the day went with the kids and I.We usually talk more on the phone than in person but its not the same.


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## mommyofthree (Jan 7, 2012)

joshbjoshb said:


> I think the question was not if you cheat or not while traveling, but do you still remember and care for your wife.
> 
> I don't travel often, but I go once a year or twice for few days out of town. I'd venture to say that it all depends what type of conversation my wife would like to have at the moment. You don't like to call home and hear just complaints, how everything is going wrong and the kids are misbehaving. I mean, of course tell me that, but if this is all the conversation is about than it really doesn't make me want to call. Then it becomes a chore - which I do anyways because THIS IS THE NORMAL THING TO DO - call your wife that was left home by herself. Also, sometimes I am in middle of an exciting program and really don't want to talk for too long, but my wife insists that she wants to talk then.
> 
> ...


My H says some of the things you have said.He feels like if im going to complain then he would rather not call and I agree but I kinda dissagree on the not talking about kids misbehaving part.My kids have started acting up with Dad out of town and I NEED my H to realize that its no bed of roses here with all I have to do and I need to talk about the good and the bad.I don't think its fair to say since im out of town you have to keep the unhappy bad stuff to yourself...are we not in it together for better or worse?

Only reason I mention this is my H brought this same thing up the other night.My son was in a play at school and was very very upset that his dad would not be there to see it.So while we were on the phone my H brought up asking what was happening this week and I mentioned it and he was mad that I would tell him this.I do not think im wrong in bringing it up....I was not mad just letting him know about his sons feelings so he could talk to him and make him feel a little better and again we are still a joint parental unit.Was I wrong?!

I always get the feeling that some think that you should try and be as happy as possible while they are out of town so they stay happy and do not stray while out of town.Poor excuse if thats the case and if thats the case then they were going to cheat anyway...it was just a matter of time.


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## joshbjoshb (Jul 11, 2011)

It's not about cheating. What I am saying has to do with why do I, or don't I, call when out of town.

I won't mind at all having my wife complains, as long as it comes with "I really hope you are having a good time. There are some few things I felt bad about and need a listening ear - can I share them? I love so much that I can share with you how I feel."

Voila, I know it's not about attacking me or making it sounds as if I am just traveling the world for my leisure. It's about her wanting me to listen. Great. I love being the supporting husband.

If all it is is a complaining session with a bit of a hint how it's some how my fault, then no thank you.


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