# I think I am done with waiting for him to figure it out



## Cnixon (Mar 13, 2013)

So it has been 6 weeks exactly since my husband of only 8 months decided that he wasnt sure whether or not he wanted to be married to me anymore, and packed his things and moved back in with his parents. As you can imagine my life has been in shambles of not knowing if this is the beginning of the end or not. His only explaination is that he cant see how it will work and that somethings(nothing major) that I have done in the past he cant get over (again nothing major). However, he was coming by everyday taking out the trash, watching "our" shows, doing the norm, but not sleeping there. 

Eventually I put a stop to being his doormat and started doing what was best for me and my children. I have painted the bedroom and removed his clothes from the closet. Overall I am doing ok, I've also been doing a lot of reading on separation and hoping for the best, preparing for the worst. 

Last Friday, he came over to visit and it was great. We both had a really fun time (as we always have) catching up on our favorite shows and just enjoying each others company. The boys (we both have a son each) also loved their time together, a picture perfect Friday. It got late and I let him and my stepson stay the night, and we all couldnt have been happier. 

A couple days later, after conversing over a couple txt msgs, I called him and asked would he give marriage counseling some more thought. He told me that he wasnt going to marriage counseling for a marriage he doesnt see working. Of course, I was hurt but also disappointed that he isnt even willing to consider saving our marriage. 

Right now I feel that there isnt anymore hope for us and why continue to fight. I cant make him want this nor do I want to make him. He claims that he loves me and in love with me but just doesnt see how its going to work (whatever that means). I am considering whether or not I want to meet with an attorney and get the ball rolling on a real legal separation or am I just emotional. 

I just dont know what to do now. I am sick of waiting for him to decide if I am a good enough person to stay married to. I am sick of waiting for the other shoe to drop. I love him but I dont think I want to continue to wait for him to figure it out. 

Someone please tell me if im making any sense or and I just being impatient?


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Cnixon said:


> His only explaination is that he cant see how it will work and that somethings(nothing major) that I have done in the past he cant get over (again nothing major). However, he was coming by everyday taking out the trash, watching "our" shows, doing the norm, but not sleeping there.


Exactly what is this "nothing major"?

A guy married 8 months separates from his wife and states he doesn't see the marriage working?

If that "nothing major" really was nothing major you don't have a husband, you have another little boy.

File for divorce and move on, I'm sure there's an actual man in your future but it ain't him.


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## Cnixon (Mar 13, 2013)

yup nothing major, no cheating, no domestic abuse, no alcohol or drug problems, just a " I dont see how this can work" and he is not willing to work on it.


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

It makes perfect sense. Stop waiting for him to decide if he wants you or not and stop letting him float in and out of you house and life when and if he pleases. He is clearly stating he doesn't he think it will work but still wants the security of knowing you are there waiting for him and wanting him. Take that away. He either wants you or he doesn't....he is in or out. Tell him you don't want to live like this, that you have decided to move on with your life without him and that you don't want him coming over anymore, not to even call you unless absolutely necessary (no kids together right?) I think he will be back singing a different tune once this sinks in and you prove you are serious. Just make sure he is reallly clear and firm in his wanting you and the marriage before letting him back in. If he doesn't come back saying how much he loves you and wants the marriage what have you lost?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Cnixon said:


> yup nothing major, no cheating, no domestic abuse, no alcohol or drug problems, just a " I dont see how this can work" and he is not willing to work on it.


What specifically are these "nothing majors" he's speaking of?

What does he say you did?


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## Cnixon (Mar 13, 2013)

I didnt forgive his ex wife's son age 16 (not his son) after one week before the wedding (after tux were fitted and all clothes were brought) he(the son) decided he couldnt make it to the wedding because he wanted to go to a party, Even though he was his BEST MAN. So condering that there was only 2 people in our bridal party excluding us, Yes I was pretty pissed. And he never apologized to either one of us for leaving us hanging. But when we were planning our spring vacation my husband asked could we take him and I said NO!! Or that I wasnt head over hills in love with his family. I respected them always but I didnt want to be with them EVERY holiday. So my husband decided that he would leave me on holidays because its important to be with them. Its things like this that he says that I am too mean because I wont adjust. Or that I after I spent a day cooking a FULL Sunday dinner for our family he then goes out and get his son Mcdonalds because he doesnt eat some of the things I cooked. And of course I hit the roof!!!


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