# Please, I need some help! Wife is checking out..



## Inturmoil (Sep 22, 2009)

I'll try to make along story short....a little over month ago my wife took a Saturday to go off and think about us. Needless to say she came home and told me she was leaving. We talked for a while and i convinced her to stay....told her that I loved her more than anything and I was willing to do anything to save our marriage. We have to little girls (6 and 18 months) and I don't want to break up our family. So she stays and I told her we should get some counseling. A few weeks go by...we are all together...I have tried everything to make her happy(this was her initial reason...she's not happy) She says she loves me but we have no physical relationship. We have never been great communicators and our sex life has been on and off. I've tried doing all the cooking, cleaning, kid stuff, took her out on a date(she seemed like she just "went along") She tells me she has checked out. She's tried for so long and now she has given up. She did send me an email shortly after this initial talk thanking me for trying so hard...she appreciated it but we need some serious work. 

Fast forward 10 days ago....she took the girls to see their grandmother for the day...I'm at home working on the yard....she comes home about dinner time and says we need to talk...says she and the girls are going to stay at grandmas house tonite. I need to find someplace to go etc.....Basically I told her that is not fair...I shouldn't have to leave and be away from my girls...this is her idea....I convince her to finally try counseling...she says she would do it for the girls(we have our first session today that she set up). Since that time I have been sleeping in the basement. She tries to avoid us being together at all....this all leads me to thinking maybe there's someone else? She became really obsessive about her cellphone about the same time this all first started...texting all the time, keeping it by the bed whereas before she could have cared less if it was ever charged. I also found a CD in her laptop bag that had a paper in it with love you typed repeatedly on it. The weird thing is a few weeks prior to all this we were having the best sex life, she seemed really happy and then all of the sudden BAM. I don't know if she's depressed or what? She doesn't really clean anymore and is fine with me doing all the stuff with the kids...I am sorry if I am rambling...we've been married for 13 yrs and together for 17. I want to save my marriage but I am sick about the whole thing. It seems like all I do is cry. I haven't confronted her about cheating...am waiting to see what the first counseling session brings out. Any advice would be helpful at this point. I don't know what to do and I want to spare my little girls any pain....


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## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

I never understand why men move out or even into another room when their wives tell them they need to go. If the woman wants out, there's the damned door.

The person who wants out should leave.


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## Harvard (Aug 11, 2009)

Actually, I have slept separately in the same house once with my spouse for about a month. Sometimes things can get so bad between two people that it is necessary to physically break off from each other. No, it doesn't feel very good...but did help.

I would say continue therapy sessions with your wife. See where that takes you and don't be her slave around the house, that is NOT what women want from their man! Just do your part help out with the responsibilities. You can always ask your spouse nicely if their is someone else but at the same time don't expect the truth so really what is the point. Good luck with this and as hard as it is don't kiss her ass just be the man you are expected to be.


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## outinthecold (Apr 30, 2009)

Dude, that's my ex-wife you are describing.

Almost.

Women leave for only a few reasons

#1 is conflict
#2 is -> abuse, jail, alcohol, jealously, gambling, addiction, porn (bad stuff) 
#3 mid-life crisis (I don't know what I want to do, be, live, boo-hoo, soul-mate)
#4 is an iffy, "I don't love you anymore" 50/50 chance of leaving, depends on whether you are quality person she is staying for or not and if you are real friends or not.

The others are just minor excuses.

If it is not one of the above, then it is a dude in waiting

If I were to guess, I think she has had, "That Conversation" with another man.

I'll bet she has developed an emotional bond with someone or is having a mid-life crisis.

Take your pick or ask her.

If she uses the word, "Conflicted" you are in trouble.

Fight with what you can, but if she has checked out, you have no nothing to fight with, it will run it's course.

People always think grass is greener on the other side, there are huge unexpected consequences she will face.

She will swap one problem with you, for two problems with the kids and if there is a dude, his kids, ex-wife, ex-family, she will become the other woman (problems X people = #?) of new real problems.

But after all, we are just human

The heart wants what it wants, no rules, no consequences, no one left in the wake.


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## outinthecold (Apr 30, 2009)

Protect yourself, your cash, your credit, your kids, your life.

Your life, DO NOT SACRIFICE anything for her.

Remember this

Eat well, 

Rest well,

Exercise,

Take care of you,

So you can take care of your kids

The kids = #1 priority for you


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Who is the primary breadwinner?

Why would she think it proper for her to ask you to move out of the house?



Inturmoil said:


> I'll try to make along story short....a little over month ago my wife took a Saturday to go off and think about us. Needless to say she came home and told me she was leaving. We talked for a while and i convinced her to stay....told her that I loved her more than anything and I was willing to do anything to save our marriage. We have to little girls (6 and 18 months) and I don't want to break up our family. So she stays and I told her we should get some counseling. A few weeks go by...we are all together...I have tried everything to make her happy(this was her initial reason...she's not happy) She says she loves me but we have no physical relationship. We have never been great communicators and our sex life has been on and off. I've tried doing all the cooking, cleaning, kid stuff, took her out on a date(she seemed like she just "went along") She tells me she has checked out. She's tried for so long and now she has given up. She did send me an email shortly after this initial talk thanking me for trying so hard...she appreciated it but we need some serious work.
> 
> Fast forward 10 days ago....she took the girls to see their grandmother for the day...I'm at home working on the yard....she comes home about dinner time and says we need to talk...says she and the girls are going to stay at grandmas house tonite. I need to find someplace to go etc.....Basically I told her that is not fair...I shouldn't have to leave and be away from my girls...this is her idea....I convince her to finally try counseling...she says she would do it for the girls(we have our first session today that she set up). Since that time I have been sleeping in the basement. She tries to avoid us being together at all....this all leads me to thinking maybe there's someone else? She became really obsessive about her cellphone about the same time this all first started...texting all the time, keeping it by the bed whereas before she could have cared less if it was ever charged. I also found a CD in her laptop bag that had a paper in it with love you typed repeatedly on it. The weird thing is a few weeks prior to all this we were having the best sex life, she seemed really happy and then all of the sudden BAM. I don't know if she's depressed or what? She doesn't really clean anymore and is fine with me doing all the stuff with the kids...I am sorry if I am rambling...we've been married for 13 yrs and together for 17. I want to save my marriage but I am sick about the whole thing. It seems like all I do is cry. I haven't confronted her about cheating...am waiting to see what the first counseling session brings out. Any advice would be helpful at this point. I don't know what to do and I want to spare my little girls any pain....


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## outinthecold (Apr 30, 2009)

Make her leave, I agree


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## Believe (Aug 27, 2009)

When you go to therapy with her make sure you ask the therapist if they are pro marriage or trust me they will just side with her and say well if your done, your done. They will then suggest helping the two of you get through the divorce. You need a therapist that is positive and one that actually tries to coach you guys into improving and not losing everything you have. Good luck and let us know how it goes.


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## Inturmoil (Sep 22, 2009)

Thank you for all the replies. Up to this point I have just been trying to not rock the boat. I know that I do not have to leave and won't for my kids sake. Kicking my wife out would be detrimental to my kids so I really don't want to go that route. I pretty much know there is someone else that she has an EA too.(hopefully that is as far as it's gone) and I haven't even brought that up yet. We have our first counseling session in an hour so I want to see what comes out there....personally I am scared but we need to do it. Does anyone know what kind of rights I would have in a divorce if she has in fact been cheating and she wants the divorce? We both make pretty decent money....I make not quite twice what she does....we are in major credit card debt but have been digging out. I appreciate the advice...keep it coming please. I have been a wreck all day thinking about the what ifs?


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## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

Seems I'm wondering a lot of things today but another is the reluctance to bring up the other person who is obviously having a negative influence on a marriage.

Anyway, in some states cheating means zip. It generaly only gets you a reason to divorce and doesn't enter into the negotiations for settlement, unless you happen to have a spouse who is particularly susceptible to guilt. Then you might guilt them into giving up something they wouldn't otherwise. But for the most part, cheating won't help you in the divorce.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Generally there are 2 kinds of divorce, fault, and no-fault. Adultery certainly falls under 'fault' - but, it requires substantial evidence. Far more than a strange phone number appearing hundreds of times on a wireless bill.

I'm not going to tell you what you should, or shouldn't do. What I am fairly confident about is that when you can take the perspective of "she chose to abandon the marriage and pursue a new relationship." you won't be nearly as concerned about rocking the boat.

Quite frankly, a sure-fire way to make her recognize the extent and damage of her choice is stop trying to 'fix' things while she is pursuing someone else - and start rocking the boat hard.

If she truly has 'checked out' you and your emotions will get absolutely steam-rolled if you do not take steps to protect, and take care of yourself.

I'm sorry your family has to go through this.


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## tryingtocope24 (Sep 27, 2009)

Sounds like me but i have been married 24 years, We try to understand what is wrong you think about it every wakeing momment. I am tried and confused. This site is helping me even if it does not give me the answer I am looking for. I now know I am not the only one awake at night thinking about it. Hang in there for your self and the kids becuase that is what is most important.


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## COFLgirl (Oct 9, 2008)

Personally, I wouldn't worry at this point about whether or not 'adultery' is grounds for divorce. Most states don't even recognize this anymore under no fault divorce laws. If divorce is the route you need to go then pursue your best options for your children and to protect yourself. It will be hard enough to get through the divorce process without having to worry about obtaining 'proof' about your wife's misdeeds. 

It makes me so angry when a spouse (and usually it is the wife) decides that she wants space and tries to make her husband move out. Don't do this...if she wants to leave-then she needs to be the one to go. Now if she leaves, that MIGHT make a difference in custody issues if it comes to that. Stay with your children in your house.

I'm so sorry for the pain you are going through, inturmoil. It hurts like nothing else, BTDT. I think an affair is very likely-all the signs are there. Even if it is emotional at this point-don't be fooled, an EA for a woman is just a PA waiting to happen. Don't underestimate the EA type of infidelity. I think it is more harmful to a marriage-particularly for women because most women need the emotional connection first (the EA part) before pursuing the affair further, which is certainly what your wife appears to be doing. She would like her space to pursue the possibilities.

Just remember, that it is your wife that is doing this, not you. Stay strong for your kids and take care of yourself.


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## knortoh (Sep 5, 2009)

dobo said:


> I never understand why men move out or even into another room when their wives tell them they need to go. If the woman wants out, there's the damned door.
> 
> The person who wants out should leave.


just don't slam it on the way out!!!!!!!!


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## optimistvik (Aug 4, 2009)

hi, as you have told in your post that you have done everything to your maximum to make her stay but still she wants to leave. then dont force her you cant get love and affection by forcing anyone. you have been together for almost 17 years, by this time she would have understood you fully, still she wants to leave means let her go.
there will be pain, i can understand how you will be feeling, but i dont think she is worth it (i am sorry if i am harsh). 
my prayers for you.


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## Kerry (Jan 9, 2009)

If you leave, isn't it really hard to get back possession of the house? Is the old "possession is 90% of the law" still valid?

I'd be careful about that one. Maybe she has a gameplan.

Oh, and I don't think she respects you. You're dancing all around her needs and she's walking all over you. Maybe you need to re-gain respect for yourself.

I hear that you are in pain. Sorry for your troubles.

Wishing you much strength.


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## Inturmoil (Sep 22, 2009)

Thanks for all the replies....I am in such a bad place with all this. My wife says it's been coming a long time and she has asked me to go to counseling before but I just dismissed it...which is true. I know that I haven't been "in tune" with her feelings but I guess i didn't think I was that bad. We had our first counseling session yesterday and it ended up basically being about what I had done to make her feel the way she does. I've always been non-confrontational so when we would argue I would make some snide comment or just say I was a jerk and leave it at that. I guess that really bothered her. Also discussed some money issues that I didn't share with her and what really bothered me was that she said I always acted like I didn't want to be home with she and the kids! I am like WTF? I know I am gone for work stuff but I always would rather be home! I told the counselor that I love her very much and will do anything to keep us together. When she asked my wife she said that she didn't think she was in love with me anymore and felt she was done.....but she waffled on that some. She was crying when I picked her up for the appt and cried during some because she said she can see that I am trying so hard. At first she didn't think she wanted to do another session but after a while she decided she would. The counselor made it a point to say that there is always hope. If someone is willing to change. I know I am not perfect and neither is my wife. Last night after the session things seemed as normal as they had for a long time...other than me still sleeping in the basement. I just want to make things work between us and am not ready to push her out even though she seems like she has left already most of the time.


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## knortoh (Sep 5, 2009)

Well this is not such bad news,
sounds like there is hope for you guys....
it's surviving this 'time' now

stay calm around her

give her (and yourself as much space as you can)

look after yourself 

good luck and let us know how you are going.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Remember: When you walk away from counseling feeling like crap? Means you are making progress.


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## Inturmoil (Sep 22, 2009)

I did feel like crap....still do. I am just upset that it turned into a session about everything I do or don't do......I was speechless. I know I have things to work on and I've told her repeatedly that I am going to fight with every fiber of my being to save our marriage. I just wish I would wake up tomorrow and everything would be back to normal.


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## knortoh (Sep 5, 2009)

Sounds like she has a whole lot of resentment that has been building and building -

let her get it out - that's healthy I think 

it will be a few sessions before you have any sense of whether counselling is working and whether she is genuine or just going along for 'your sake'

in the meantime stay calm and look after yourself as much as you can


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## Inturmoil (Sep 22, 2009)

I am not doing very well....can't eat or sleep....I still have this nagging feeling that she is cheating with someone....not necessarily physical but definitely emotional. She is constantly texting on her blackberry and is very secretive. She's going out with her friend tomorrow night to a late movie out of town...this friend isn't exactly a good role model (divorced and enabling) as I would call it. It's all very weird....she NEVER went out before even though I encouraged her to and now she goes places on a weekly basis....at least she somewhat asks if it's ok with me....if I have plans. Tonite she went to get a movie for our daughter and I mentioned she should get one for us....she brought one home and actually sat on the couch with me and watched it(fell asleep actually) but it was something. I am so confused. I don't know what to do....I am boiling inside.....angry one moment and a blubbering idiot the next.....I still love my wife more than anything but I am getting angry.....I think if it wasn't for my daughters I would let her have it but I will continue to walk on eggshells for a while longer I guess. I am getting sick of sleeping on the couch in the basement!


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## knortoh (Sep 5, 2009)

oh I feel for you -
no eating and sleeping is just the pits -
and on top of that you have some suspicions -
really awful for you -
when is your next appointment ?
do you feel it is doing any good?


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## tryingtocope24 (Sep 27, 2009)

My story sounds the same, I just hate to see what the next day brings. I don't sleep, don't eat. One day I'm sad the next I'm mad and she make conflicing statements, I have givien up trying to read her mood. We start counselling this week I asked back in April she said no now she says she will go to see what her problem is if any. we have a problem and we both need to work at it to fix it. Hang in there you are not the only one.


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## Inturmoil (Sep 22, 2009)

Believe me I'm trying. We are still living in the house with the kids so for them it seems fairly normal I hope. They're pretty young. There is no arguing but she is just different. We discuss everyday stuff about the kids etc...but nothing that applies to our relationship and it kills me....I don't know if I should just bite the bullet and corner her and try and talk or if that would push her away more. She said she was going to a movie with her friend tonite out of town and I was going to stay home with the kids....well I got called in to work my second job so I figured she'd just stay home but she got a babysitter and went....well I am home early and sent the babysitter home already....she is still not home...it just irritates me to no end! Seems irresponsible. I don't know how much more I can take....I love her more than anything and don't want to ruin my little girls lives but I am getting fed up. She's probably seeing someone and it makes me physically ill to even think about it! I have tried ignoring her but it's hard with the kids and all their stuff. I think I am going crazy and wasting away!!


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## knortoh (Sep 5, 2009)

sorry
You are obviously feeling this in a really physical way -
I stopped eating too
whatever you do don't corner her 
I know it is hard and may feel impossible but you do have a chance here -
please try and look after yourself and vent your anger etc here.
concentrate on the girls - they need you more than ever...


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## Inturmoil (Sep 22, 2009)

Well it goes from bad to worse.....I saw some email correspondence she had with her brother and she basically told him that she was waiting until I got done with my extra job in the next couple weeks and was going to file for divorce...wants to get it over as quickly as possible. She also said she was going to file for sole custody....I just about passed out right there! Those girls are my life and I devote as much of my time as I can to them...for her to think she can take them away from me and their grandparents it ridiculous! She even went so far as to say any judge in their right mind wouldn't fight doing it.....you have got to be kidding me.....she is the one who is quitting on the marriage....she will not talk to me and is adamant about being done trying. I will eventually get over the whole divorce issue someday but to not have my kids would kill me! Anyone have any advice on the sole custody issue? I have always been there, supportive, no cheating or abuse.....she just wants it to end. We did have a blowup....I again told her that I know there is someone else and she will not deny it outright but doesn't admit to it. Sometimes I don't think life is worth living.....


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## knortoh (Sep 5, 2009)

Why would she believe that she has any right to sole custody?
Is she prone to being unreasonable?
Don't give up.
You have to fight for your rights. 
For yourself and your daughter/s?
You can do this - because that is what has to be done.
Don't let her bully you.


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## Mavia (Sep 28, 2009)

Wow! She has all these plans and the only one you had was to save your marriage. It looks like you need to start covering your butt. It would be impossible for her to get sole custody unless she can PROVE that you are an unfit parent. Start getting your finances in a row and perhaps seek legal help at this stage of the game. I know that's the last thing you want, but you need to protect yourself and your parenting instead of being blind sided that she is going to just change her mind. She's through through this thoroughly and is even talking to family about it - what other signs do you need? 

Ask her to move out if she wants out so bad. To just assume she gets the house because of the children is outdated. Start putting all of your focus on your children now. They need a strong happy father that takes care of himself. I know this is very difficult - but do it for them.


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## dancininthestorm (Sep 30, 2009)

Your situation sounds very familiar. It sounds like an EA. It will probably be the hardest thing to do, but the best thing you can do is go along with her and treat it like a divorce is coming. My wife "reluctantly" went to counseling and said it was only for future relationships and was having an EA, but was waffling with her decision. Our counselor saw right through her and told her she should start looking into divorce. After a couple weeks, she decided she wanted to work on the marriage. Right now it seems your wife feels the grass will be greener, but that's not a reality. Maybe she needs to get a taste of reality. The point is, you have no control over what she does either way, but as it stands, she doesn't have to face the difficult decisions. An EA is only a symptom of a greater problem in your relationship. She may really feel unhappy and like she wants to leave, but if you are not a "bad" person, I would venture to say she is just confused right now. Hang in there.


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## Inturmoil (Sep 22, 2009)

Well I am sure she is having an EA.....in a previous post I mentioned a CD that I found in her laptop case with a note that had Love you typed out a bunch of times....last night I finally confronted her about it after we started arguing and she said so what, someone gave me a cd....yeah so what?! I know she says she has been unhappy for a long time and I apparently have met her emotional needs. She says she tried to tell me and maybe she did but I am just dumb and deaf.....I told her that we never ever just sat down and talked about stuff....we always hide away in our corner of the house and now a month and a half ago....BOOM....all of the sudden she comes to me and wanted me to leave....well I refused and I will not leave my girls....I've tried to do the giving space deal and avoid but it's hard when there are issues that come up with kids....in the last two weeks I have had to be the sole parent for the kids because my wife had out of town work meetings that she had to leave early for so I don't know what the hell she thinks it will be like if we're apart?! I know I need to get a lawyer and get my ducks in a row.....I told her she was nuts if she thinks that she will be able to stay in the house. I would love to stay as I've poured my soul into this place and it would be good for the girls.....I am on a downward spiral!


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

Make copies of the CD. Copy the emails. Keep the cell phone records if you can get them and get yourself a lawyer before you give her a hint of what you are doing. She is hallucinating (unless there is something you have not mentioned here) if she thinks she will get sole custody of the children. Joint custody at best. I hate to say it but if you serve her divorce papers first it'll be to your advantage. Grounds would be her "fault" for cheating on your marriage.

Wow, I can't believe I said that. It just makes me so angry when our spouses stick a knife in our backs. If she was unhappy with you, she should have had a serious discussion with you. At worst, she could have asked for a separation first to give you both a chance to change and improve yourselves. I have seen this before, the W sometimes has this dilusion that the H is a mind reader. So if you didn't pick up on her "hints" about how bad she was feeling then she can just go right ahead and cheat.

By the way, I agree with the other posts on her (dobo) the cheater needs to be the one to walk out the door. At least my wife had the decency to respectfully tell me that she would be the one leaving for a while. Had she asked me to leave myself, I would have told her "to not let the door hit you where the good Lord split you!".


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## Inturmoil (Sep 22, 2009)

I don't know what she is thinking....I am getting to the point that if it's over it's over I guess. I don't want to do this for my girls...I haven't given up yet but I don't know what else I can do. I did go talk with a friend last night for a couple hours and when I came home my youngest kept asking me where I went....I said to visit a friend...she kept asking who I went to see....said she and mommy wanted to know...so maybe my wife is testing me? Other than that she still won't talk to me. We have another counseling session which I am not prepared for...I never know what to say and hopefully don't end up on the defensive....not sure if I should push the love not issue today or not?! Still confused!


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## dancininthestorm (Sep 30, 2009)

Maybe I'm ever the optimist, but I can't help but feel that there is a great deal of hope in your situation. I've searched every relationship article and read the books, and the common theme is always to let her know it is not your desire to end the relationship because you feel things can be worked through. Then you relax and give her space. However, in the meanwhile, you concentrate on the things you can control. Work on your own behaviors, take care of yourself, enjoy yourself, and most importantly....be there for your daughters because I'm sure you know it will be hardest on them. My opinion is she wouldn't attend counseling and tell you about the needs you didn't meet for nothing. If you didn't listen before, be sure to listen now. Sounds as if she is still challenging you. Indifference is when all hope is lost and your situation sounds nothing like it. Prepare for the worse, but she's not gone and there is still time. Remain as positive as possible. This is coming from someone who has struggled mightly with that, but if you can, it will only help you through a difficult period. I pour all my energy into my work and my children and that helps tremendously. For most, your pride will be the most difficult part due to the EA. It stings, but it may be her way of filling a void without crossing any "boundaries". Don't let the negative cloud your thoughts...


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## Inturmoil (Sep 22, 2009)

Well thanks for the encouragement.....I am not sure how much hope there is.....she knows how I feel and would do anything to save our marriage.....all I can do now is give her space....maybe she'll come around.....I know the EA has contributed a lot the whole situation....I am a physical touch kind of guy so the EA doesn't bother me as much as if it was something physical...that would make me puke! I've talked with her parents and her mom says I have to accept it....I guess outwardly I must but inside I am hoping. Her dad is very upset that she would do this. I am not sure what my next step will be?


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## Inturmoil (Sep 22, 2009)

A little update on my situation......We are still living in the same house. I am still going to counseling..albeit on my own....not sure if the wife is still going. She had a session set up for us together so she could talk to me about why she is doing this some more....I don't know what good that would have done...we had to cancel due to sick kids and work conflicts....anyway.....still living like a family....in fact everything seems completely normal with the exception of no physical touch between us and I am still sleeping in the basement. We even went out of town shopping together as a family yesterday. She keeps talking about things in the future like we are together but then when I mention how it's going to be hard when things change she says everyone will adjust. I don't know what is going on with her? I know she continues to move toward divorce. We sat down and talked about splitting stuff up and finances a couple weeks ago....I gave her a hard time about her confessed EA and how wrong it is. I know she feels guilty and I haven't brought it up since. I've basically told her that I know she wants the divorce...she was trying to fast track everything but we did agree that we need to finish fixing up the remodel job and put the house on the market in the spring....so we will all be living here together for quite some time yet. I view this as a chance for me to get her back....not sure what she views it as. Our interaction with the kids is same as always. It just confuses me the rest of the time....we still sit down and eat as a family, go to church and yesterday the shopping trip(which was her idea). Anybody have any thoughts? Am I going nuts? I want desperately to save my marriage...I have backed off and don't talk relationship stuff with her. I know hope can be a terrible thing but it's all I have at this point.


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## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

Have you considered giving her a preliminary taste of what divorce feels like? Meaning, she eats alone and shops alone, etc.


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## Help239 (Oct 20, 2009)

Sounds similar to my situation although my wife filed weeks ago and has not agreed to counseling. You are in a far better place than I am my friend. Hang in there.


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## Inturmoil (Sep 22, 2009)

dobo said:


> Have you considered giving her a preliminary taste of what divorce feels like? Meaning, she eats alone and shops alone, etc.


I have thought about that and have told her that it isn't going to be fun or easy. I don't think she realizes what this is all going to entail financially or otherwise....the hard part about her doing all this stuff "alone" is we are in the same house with our 2 kids and I will not leave them so it's a tough thing to do. I know I need to let her have space and disconnect....I'm just not sure how I can do it to a further degree than I am already doing in the current situation?!?


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## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

Take the kids to do things alone. She's not invited.


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