# What was the hardest part of your unhappy marriage to get through



## Nickitta (May 12, 2011)

Hello!

I have read many threads on this forum about people who have suffered infidelity from their partners. Others have endured lack of respect and bad treatment. For me the hardest thing was to find myself after a few years of marriage stuck in a sexless and loveless marriage. Living with a stranger that used to be my husband was soul-destroying as I felt like an object. The absence of intimacy or even a cuddle made me very miserable and sad. I soon realised that life was passing me by.

What was the hardest part for you?


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

Being subjected to hateful angry rages of nuclear intensity


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Knowing it would never be the same again

Knowing we broke it

Knowing that he would never empathize with something that caused me Major Pain and continued to do the 1 thing I told him killed me


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## chattycathy (Aug 19, 2011)

sexless, loveless usually = infedelity


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Coming to the conclusion that it's better to never share a thought or opinion,feeling or believe. About anything. Basically living in complete opacity forever.


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## Michelle27 (Nov 8, 2010)

Ten_year_hubby said:


> Being subjected to hateful angry rages of nuclear intensity


Exactly. 

But, I think we're turning a corner. I hope so.


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

Listening to the endless speech to his friends and family about how I'm his 'dream woman' blah blah blah and having him cut me down worse than my worse enemy when he's in that mood.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## YupItsMe (Sep 29, 2011)

Knowledge that it was my fault for not understanding what my wife needed. I fixed it three years ago saving our 11 year marriage. I regret the time lost on all the sadness and frustration.


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## Nickitta (May 12, 2011)

chattycathy said:


> sexless, loveless usually = infedelity


...not in my case. Just pure and utter emptyness and lonelyness


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## Nickitta (May 12, 2011)

YupItsMe said:


> Knowledge that it was my fault for not understanding what my wife needed. I fixed it three years ago saving our 11 year marriage. I regret the time lost on all the sadness and frustration.


Congratulations on saving your marriage.


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## stayathomemomandwife (Jul 25, 2011)

Feeling alone even when we are in the same room together. Looking at my 2 girls and wishing I could show them a loving relationship with their daddy so they strive for that same type of partner. I am still going through this but so far, it's been the hardest part of our failing marriage. Just feeling so apart and disconnected.


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## Nickitta (May 12, 2011)

> Feeling alone even when we are in the same room together...


Once a man has checked out emotionally, he shuts down his feelings and emotions. Instead of physically leaving it is akin to an emotional abandonment, which can be sometimes worse.


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## Mrs. T (Aug 5, 2011)

For me, living with an alcoholic, it was the verbal and emotional abuse that tore my self esteem to shreds and the complete lack of intimacy and affection that left me feeling lonely and hopeless. I've had his hands around my throat and a shotgun pointed in my face and that was nothing compared to the emptiness inside. Now, he is the one who is alone...


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## Triumph (Oct 8, 2011)

Falling back into destructive behaviour after making so much distance on growing your marriage.

2 steps forward, 1 step back. That 1 step back kills motivation fast, and its hard to recover.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Allowing her utter failure as a wife to impact my life for so long.

Once I realized that repair cannot be just me blowing air into the balloon, if I stop, it deflates; then I was able see how pointless it was to continue.

The hard part is in trying to unmesh myself from her and not screw things up for my kids.

It's like living with a zombie.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

I, like Mrs. T, was married to an alcoholic, and being married to one is a roller coaster ride of insane proportions. Mood swings. Paranoia. Angry outbursts over seemingly nothing. Black outs. Spending the entire weekend in a house with someone passed out drunk who woke up just long enough to consume the amount of booze needed to pass out again.

When it got to the point that I jumped everytime he staggered into a room, and I couldn't bear to look at him wasting away any longer, I left. 

The hardest part was watching the nice man I married morph into a stranger I didn't recognize.


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## charlene (Jul 21, 2011)

Having to forgive for a behavior, which hasn''t changed for the past year. Otherwise i''ve been called ""rancorous" and "not wanting to safe the marriage"


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## Mrs. T (Aug 5, 2011)

Prodigal said:


> I, like Mrs. T, was married to an alcoholic, and being married to one is a roller coaster ride of insane proportions. Mood swings. Paranoia. Angry outbursts over seemingly nothing. Black outs. Spending the entire weekend in a house with someone passed out drunk who woke up just long enough to consume the amount of booze needed to pass out again.
> 
> When it got to the point that I jumped everytime he staggered into a room, and I couldn't bear to look at him wasting away any longer, I left.
> 
> The hardest part was watching the nice man I married morph into a stranger I didn't recognize.


  its very hard to live that way...I hope you are getting over your experience. I find the pain and scars can creep up on me at the most unexpected times.


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