# Pain still after 3 years



## FOH (Jun 29, 2013)

I am having a hard time getting over the man I loved. What did I do so wrong for my ex husband to shut me out and treat me like crap. Sometimes I just want to die... I am in real pain today. What does it take to get over someone who I completely gave my heart do? I must be a horrible person. I hate me for losing my husband.


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## ne9907 (Jul 17, 2013)

I suspect you did nothing wrong.
Did you leave the Navy?
How is your health? Did you take care of cervical cancer? Have you kept in touch with your family?
How are they doing?


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## FOH (Jun 29, 2013)

yes i left the navy. yes my cancer is in remission. yes i have . they are okay


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## FOH (Jun 29, 2013)

Just hurts he left me to marry her. i feel humiliated and victimized. I was not giving him enough sex he says is on of the reason he left. Is that a real reason


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## bravenewworld (Mar 24, 2013)

It's a real reason - however not a good one especially considering your illness. Sounds like he is grasping at straws to blame you for the relationship's demise. 

I also had an ex husband who hid/stole money from me. We are better off without these vultures and we will never understand their true motivation because they are mentally ill and I doubt they even understand why they do what they do. Healthy people don't hurt, drain, and victimize those they purport to "love." 

Like attracts like and that is the reason these people have moved on to another victim - excuse me, partner. My ex has no place in my life and I suspect yours doesn't either. 

Have you done any work to move on from your separation? Therapy, meditation, a support group, exercise, and cultivating new friendships/interests have been instrumental in my grieving and moving on positively process. 

"You must make a decision that you are going to move on. It wont happen automatically. You will have to rise up and say, ‘I don’t care how hard this is, I don’t care how disappointed I am, I’m not going to let this get the best of me. I’m moving on with my life.” 
-Joel Osteen


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## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

A good friend of mine said it took him 5 years to accept his divorce. Everyone heals at a different rate. 

Are you depressed? Has your doctor tested you for that? Excessive feelings of guilt and shame are signs of a deep depression. 

You had deeper feelings than he did, and unless you were having zero sex I can't see that as a reason. And even that is not grounds for divorce, it's grounds for working through the issue. 

40 or 50 percent of marriages fail, we have to realize that we are in a big group. A lot of spouses get the 'grass is greener' syndrome, it's about THEM, not us. 

Do you go to a therapist?


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## FOH (Jun 29, 2013)

It is hard to get over somone who victimizes you. In our divorce decree he was suppose to split the stock proceeds and pay the capital gains. Never did that one. So guess what he closed the account and kept the money and then I get a 1099 from the brokerage company stating the stock income we are to report. He never told me or sent anything to me. WTF. Then last tax season he claimed me as a dependent and it took 8 months to get a return and even then I could not file single because he filed married filing seperately which did not allow me to take all the deductions I was entitled to. He was suppose to cover all the medical bills because they should have been covered under his insurance. Guess what I am getting bills sent to collections because he never paid them and that too was apart of our decree. Two months later TRICARE calls me with my ex in their office lieing to them about covering the bills. In the decree he was to give me cash to pay them off but he did what he wanted to do. I also have has a hard time finding a job because his girlfriend got me arrested. The charges were dismissed but it is still on my record. How on earth this jackass (OW) see s all of this and flaunts this crap in my face that they are getting married. WTF. She really believes that he loves her after all he did to me. I feel like he is a coward and I HATE cowards. That alone of how he did even have a conscience when he did those things to me. There is NO such thing as justice system in my eyes.


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

FOH said:


> Just hurts he left me to marry her. i feel humiliated and victimized. I was not giving him enough sex he says is on of the reason he left. Is that a real reason



Sorry about your sitch FO.
But hell , sex or lack of is enough reason for millions of women taking of every day so l guess it is.
lt's quite the opposite for you though FO, you still hurt because your special , you know "real" love and real hurt from that, what it is and believe in it. That's a testimate to how special you are , not that somethings wrong with you. Do you know how rare it is for people these days to have real love .
lf l ever got married again your love is the only love l want , so there , stick that in your pipe and smoke it


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