# File jointly?



## TooNice (Nov 26, 2013)

My H and I are hoping to make our divorce as simple and inexpensive as we can. We do not own property, our youngest will be 18 next month, and we have few assets. It should be easy to keep lawyers out of it. We do have debt, and college to pay for, but I will be sure the documents lay out our plan for that.

My question is this-is there any reason to not file jointly? This is not my decision, and I may disagree, but I feel a tiny bit petty about saying I won't file jointly just because I want it all on him. 

The fact is, it's happening, and I just want it smooth and simple. But when he was looking at the forms the other night and said, "we are filing jointly, right?", it threw me a little. I just want to be sure I'm not missing something.

Any thoughts or advice appreciated!


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## Malpheous (May 3, 2013)

I can't speak for all states but typically you can't file "jointly". One party is suing the other for divorce. There is a plaintiff and a defendant. You can however file "uncontested" meaning you both agree to the terms submitted in the filing to the court.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Malpheous said:


> I can't speak for all states but typically you can't file "jointly". One party is suing the other for divorce. There is a plaintiff and a defendant. You can however file "uncontested" meaning you both agree to the terms submitted in the filing to the court.


*Yes, you can file jointly! Provided that you agree to file the joint return with him, and he agrees to file that very same return with you, then it is certainly permissible. The only possible drawback in this is that if there is any subsequent debt that is owed, then you are both jointly liable for it and the Fed/State can come and get it through either source.

And the language within your D paperwork would also have to largely reflect that!*


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

arbitrator said:


> *Yes, you can file jointly! Provided that you agree to file the joint return with him, and he agrees to file that very same return with you, then it is certainly permissible. The only possible drawback in this is that if there is any subsequent debt that is owed, then you are both jointly liable for it and the Fed/State can come and get it through either source.
> 
> And the language within your D paperwork would also have to largely reflect that!*


Are you talking about filing taxes, or filing for divorce?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

PBear said:


> Are you talking about filing taxes, or filing for divorce?
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


*PBear: If that's the situation, then I may well have misspoken!

And if that's indeed the case, it must be the "ol' Revenuer" in me coming out as I had my IRS tax law hat firmly on! Now, as far as filing for a divorce jointly? You had best see a good family law attorney for any possible preclusions!*


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## TooNice (Nov 26, 2013)

PBear said:


> Are you talking about filing taxes, or filing for divorce?
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm referring to the divorce papers. Our state allows us to either file jointly, or he would petition.


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## Arendt (Mar 25, 2013)

Might be best to do it jointly in the interest of making sure you are covered legally and that all the debt stuff is hammered out. 

One way you could still make it clear that this is not really what you want is to make him pay the fees all by himself. If he wants it, he should pay for it (the filing fee is nominal really). If you don't have lawyers involved this will be fairly simple and cheap. But make sure you are comfortable with the debt stuff. You are striking out on your own soon, with all your own bills. If he makes more money, he should pay more in my view.


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## TooNice (Nov 26, 2013)

I am leaning toward joint filing, I think. I just had that emotional piece rear its head when the question came up. In my mind, filing jointly means I'm agreeing to this. It silly and petty, but it is how I feel. 

Realistically, this is the right move for us, and if filing jointly is easy, then so be it. His income far exceeds mine, and he has expressed on numerous occasions that he does not plan to leave me high and dry. I trust him in that, but that will be in the paperwork. I need to make sure the court trusts him, too.  And look out for myself for when another woman enters the picture one day. 

Thanks for the input.


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## Arendt (Mar 25, 2013)

Have you looked into how you can increase your own earning potential? Continuing education might be a good investment, and a good place to meet people.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Have you spoken with a lawyer? Because you really should. TAM is no substitute for legal and financial advice.


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## TooNice (Nov 26, 2013)

Arendt said:


> Have you looked into how you can increase your own earning potential? Continuing education might be a good investment, and a good place to meet people.


A master's program is definitely in my future. I just need to fine tune what I want. I finished my undergrad less than five years ago, and have pretty significant debt from that. I'm happy as a lark in my job, but it wasn't really smart financially. 

I'm currently at a place that will provide tuition help, so I need to get on that! I have though that it would be good for me after I'm settled on my own.


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## TooNice (Nov 26, 2013)

norajane said:


> Have you spoken with a lawyer? Because you really should. TAM is no substitute for legal and financial advice.


We are really trying to avoid lawyers, if we can. H said we could pay for someone to do a once-over before we file, if it will give me peace of mind. It's out there if I feel it's necessary, but I agree, it's probably an expense we do not need.


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## Arendt (Mar 25, 2013)

That is good! In addition to financial potential it projects some confidence in yourself. Nothing but good things there.

If you are going into business, and want an MBA, then you will have to pay for that most likely. If you go into one of the humanities, there are ways to get outside funding in addition to your your job's tuition help (use that!). If you are going into the sciences, there are grant programs as well. Never hurts to apply for such things.

If you ever go on to a PhD, you will get paid to do it (and if you are not paid, or at least if it is not free as in full tuition wavers, then you should not do it).


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

I was able to find an attorney that for a pretty reasonable fee sent us questionnaires and forms to fill out, he drafted everything, emailed it to us, we got a notary and signed the paperwork, sent it back to him and he proofed it all and took care of the filing and response to the non-appearance affidavit. It was worth the money I spent 5 times over, just for the peace of mind and the lack of back and forth with the court. I forget the breakout of costs, but the whole divorce was less than $1,000. We had never co-mingled assets and our pre-nup pretty much took care of any other potential issues. I'm not a kid person, so custody/child support etc wasn't a concern. It was just nice to have someone oversee an unfamiliar process.


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