# I am thinking about leaving.



## ak41 (Sep 12, 2012)

My husband and I have been married almost two years. Together for three. We had a great relationship at the beginning, like most. We didn't see each other a lot at first. (Once a week). He basically works two full time jobs by choice. One is family owned. It was ok though we started seeing one another a few times a week it worked ok, it was about the quality of our time really. 

So I knew he was busy from the start, he was open and upfront about that. But as we got closer and got into a relationship, he also let me know clearly that I was so very important to him (the most important actually). And he made time for us and our relationship. If there was an event he was there, a family get together he was there even if a bit late. He wanted to be with me and have a life with me. We spoke of this many times.

Well fast forward another year and a half and after the wedding and he starts changing. He is later and later at work. Than after work he heads to the family job well he is later and later there. And it has just gotten worse. He always wanted me to talk him if his time became an issue. I tried two times. Last time I even wrote it out, cried and told him I was lonesome for him all the time and needed him. He just shrugged his shoulders.

He no longer comforts me like he used to, he doesn't care if I cry, he doesn't care if things are wrong with us he just leaves and I don't hear from him. He never treated me this way before I married him. He couldn't stand if I was upset. He would call and call. He had to fix it

He makes time for anything and everyone else but he has no time for me. We maybe see one another a hour a day. He works all weekend to. So the relationship is time starved and I know you will say well it was from the start but it was different because than it was different. The little time we had together was so important to both of us. Now if it means visiting or just being longer away he is. And I am not perfect by no means but I have given up. He shouldn't be avoiding home, I don't nag him to do anything here. I quit talking to him about my needs. I just go to work, keep the house clean, cook his suppers, and pack his lunches. And feel like his roommate versus his wife.

He has no time for me and our home. He makes me feel like he has no room in his life for me anymore and like after he married me I became a bother to him versus the woman he loved.

It just hurts me so bad because we spoke about what we wanted out of this marriage. And I was terrified being it was my second go round. I wanted it to be right this time. But all he said than and the way he was to me is gone. And it hurts me because that was my biggest fear in marrying him was that he would change on me. He begged me to give him a chance, let him prove it to me, he wasn't like my ex, he promised. And now this.
I'm sorry this got so long, I'm just devasted I have no one to talk to. My family doesn't care. Any advice please. Thanks!


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## Dolfna (Jun 21, 2013)

So I have have been married 22years and separated for 10 days, I would suggest counseling. My husband refuses counseling if yours is willing it might be worth a shot. Ask yourself do you love him and does he love you? I will tell you what I told my husband. I can't make you love me, all I can do is say I love you and I want you happy. Hopefully that is with me if not it will suck.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

I hate to say it, but his behavior sounds like he is most likely having an affair. Start digging...check his phone if you can, check your cell phone records, computer history, etc. 

Lets say you can rule out an affair. He is not paying any attention to you, so you need to do something to get his attention. Stop anything that you do for him...quit cleaning up after him, stop making his lunches and dinners, let him do for himself. Find things to do outside of the house so that you arent there when he gets home. You really need to shake him up.


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## uonlyliveonce (Jun 9, 2013)

I am in the same situation as you where my husband treats me badly and refuses to acknowledge my needs. Please keep up updated on how you go because I'm looking for ideas too.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

You know what? I have gone to your profile and skimmed your threads. You have been posting here for quite some time with your issues. You start a thread, you whine, people offer advice and you disappear, only to start another whiny thread. In reading what you have posted, it is obvious that you are VERY VERY insecure. That is probably driving your husband away, that is why he spends so much time at work. When he gets home, he doesnt want to have to deal with your insecurity, I am sure he would much rather be able to relax and enjoy time with you instead. I posted my first response before I read all the other things you posted. I am not trying to be mean, I'm really not, but YOU seem to be your own issue here. You are driving him away. So what are you going to do about it?


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