# Does my ex really want me back?



## HarrisraTx (Oct 29, 2011)

My ex fiance and I broke up thursday because I was being to possessive in the relationship. Which is true. I really love her and I never wanted her to hang out with her friends or text/call old guy friends. Well she moved out of the house and now we are back to dating. Went on a really good date last night and we watched a movie at the house. Well I cant convince my self that she is giving our relationship a chance and I need major advice. So let me tell you whats going on.

We talked and she tells me that she is willing to try and whatever happens happens. She says that we are not in a relationship anymore but if a guy ever asked her if she was seeing someone she would say yes that she was working things out with her ex. She tells me that if it doesn't work out that she wants me to remain her friend which I could not do but I dont tell her that. Im going to talk about what we talked about last night.

She said that she is still hurt about what was said during the break up because I blew up and told her basically to f*** off but I apologized. She said that she is not ready to hold my hand or let me touch her like I used to when we were together. However she kissed me on the lips twice last night and she held on to me tight before she went home last night. She said that its gonna take a bit until she opens up again because she is still hurt. But heres my problem...

I have a problem with not believing that she still wants to try and that she is just doing this to keep me as a friend. Main reason I do is because she tells me that we may or may not work out but she is willing to try. I keep asking her if she wants to try but everytime she gets frustrated and says if I didnt want to try I wouldnt be on a date with you right now. She has told all her friends and family that we are trying to work things out. And she still says she loves me on the phone or before she leaves or i leave. So I need major advice so that I dont keep worrying and I relax to know that she does want me back.


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## Mindful Coach (Sep 15, 2011)

It sounds as if she's willing to work things out with you, all the actions are there to support that. But she is not going to come back around with you acting so insecure. 

Your insecurity and jealously is what drove her away and if you can't get past that, you are going to lose her. Spending this time trying to get to the bottom of why you feel so insecure and become so possessive - and what you can do to fix that is the best thing you can do right now. That's not about her, her motives, or what she does or doesn't do, it's about you.


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## HarrisraTx (Oct 29, 2011)

Thanks Tracy. Im going through therapy right now on working on this. Can you give me some particular steps or advice for me to take to stop worrying about her. Im really young 23 and this is my first major relationship and first engagement. Advice my friends give me is to act like a I dont care if we hangout or not. They said sometimes if she calls and wants to hang out say im busy. But what would you do?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Why don't you wat her hanging out with friends? The guy friend thing I can undertand more but not all her friends. Why are you so possessive? Don't tell her to "fck off" as u di. That is plain rude. If u want this to work you're gonna have to give her time. It sounds like you really hurrt her feelings. Empathy andan apology go a long way.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mindful Coach (Sep 15, 2011)

You're welcome and I'm happy you're in therapy. It's hard not to worry about about your relationship when it is so important to you, but the worry is not going to help you. 

Worrying about it gives you something to do when you are not around her. What else can you do when you are not around her that will keep your mind occupied?

I don't suggest playing games with her. If you are free and she wants to see you, go for it. Just be careful not to push for more or to try to get commitments out of her, just enjoy your time with her until you see her again.

What I would've done at 23 is much different than what I would do today. My children are your age, so instead I'll tell you what I would tell them. I would tell them that the most important thing you can do for you and for her is to become a whole and complete person that loves yourself and is happy to be by yourself. Spending time with her would just be a bonus, not the thing that makes you happy. When you are happy and love yourself you have a great deal more to give to her, you are more self confident and there is nothing sexier than self confidence. 

Have fun, play, laugh, you don't get out of life alive. Remember, she tells you that she loves you and tells her friends and family too. That's really all you need to know, so find things to do that will keep yourself busy and happy. Yes, that's hard when you are worried, but do it anyway. When you don't feel so worried, you will feel more attractive and she'll become more attracted to you too.


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## kytro360 (Oct 29, 2011)

Hey. I used to be in your spot. My girlfriend left me for another man and I was alone and depressed. One day I was browsing the web and I found this site- tips2getyourexback.blogspot.com/. Thanks to the free tips that site provided me and my girl are back together and happier than ever. Hey, it worked for me, maybe it can work for you too. Good luck


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## YupItsMe (Sep 29, 2011)

1. Being needy for constant validation is exhausting, annoying and unattractive.

That is precisely what YOU DID to drive her away. Now you are doing it again. 

Whenever you feel the urge to ask for reassurances, STOP yourself from that relationship destroying behavior. Do something helpful instead like telling a joke, tell her about your day, friend, mom, childhood, dog, car, dreams or ask her about the same. 

She is unto you until you start up the whiny crap. 

2. Confident men dont worry about their woman having other healthy relationships. Instead they encourage them knowing they are a vital part of a balanced life for their loved ones. Make sure your relationship is one of them. 

3. Google Calle Zorro articles or read No Mr Nice Guy to understand why women are so turned off by your behavior. Its deeply helpful to learn how to stop sabataging your relationship by acting like a weanie.


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