# Wife started dressing much sexier while in public recently.



## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

Hello to everyone.

Recently, my 30 yo wife (I am 35), started wearing much sexier outfits sometimes when we go out just the two of us or with two particular (male) friends of ours.

I am talking about tight, opaque leggings, very short, tight dresses (she has a fit body), very high heels, and now in the summer, tiny thong bikinis, sometimes even going topless.

Talking to her about it in a nice way, she said that I exaggerate a little, and it is totally normal, that the fashion is changing and she wants to follow. However, I really do not know if wearing high heels and a dress that friends and strangers can clearly see your (transparent) underwear the whole time while we are sitting at the bar is part of the fashion. Or if the extremely ripped denim shorts and fishnet top (no bra) is some kind of trend. Or if the topless with a tiny thong bikini in front of guys we barely know is something normal.

I have to note that we have a good sex life, no cheating or messing around from any side and there is good communication. This is why I am so confused and I would like to hear some opinions, if I should worry or not.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

That's trashy, not trendy. Yuck.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

No matter what one's shape is, I despise it when women wear leggings as if they were pants.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

If she has never worn revealing clothing before, then something is up. Some women have never worn a top to the beach or anything else, really depends on where you live.

If she started wearing these new clothes around the two male friends, I would consider this a red flag.

Is she dressing like this when she is around others friends?

Does she dress like this when she goes out by herself?

Is she dressing like this when it is just the two of you?

She is dressing like a hot/**** wife for someone and it doesn’t sound like it is you. Her reason she gave is bullcrap. Fashion can be sexy and still not reveal her entire body.

How long have you know the two male friends?


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

I suspect something is up could be as small as a crush on a man she wants to impress.

Most likely it's secret communication with someone.

However you may see a progression over time so be alert. Possibly for now mouth shut eyes open, you don't want whatever might be going on to go further underground.

An increase or decrease or new activity in you sex life can also be a red flag.

What do you know about these two male friends are they yours or hers.


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## Married_in_michigan (Apr 9, 2014)

could it just be that she is either feeling really good about herself right now, or even just that she is trying to hold on to her youth? I know when my wife is feeling especially good about herself, she seems to start wearing more "sexy" outfits when we go out.

Are you sure it is related to these two other men, or could it just happen to be those guys have been around recently? Have you gone out recently with other people and she did not dress this way?


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Trust your guts. If they are telling you that something's wrong then most likely yes, something is wrong. It could be nothing and all very innocent, but trust your guts. For now mouth shut and eyes wide open. these days a good indication that something is going on is the phone.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

ABHale said:


> If she has never worn revealing clothing before, then something is up. Some women have never worn a top to the beach or anything else, really depends on where you live.
> 
> If she started wearing these new clothes around the two male friends, I would consider this a red flag.
> 
> ...


Freudian slip? 😎


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Maybe she has some exhibitionist fantasies, find a place where you can be nude without getting arrested and let it all hang. Get it out of her system.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

NextTimeAround said:


> Freudian slip? 😎


😂😂😂 My bad, fixed it.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

> ...a dress that friends and strangers can clearly see your (transparent) underwear... extremely ripped denim shorts and fishnet top (no bra)... topless with a tiny thong bikini in front of guys we barely know...


Seriously, how do you even let her leave the house? I'm not one to tell my wife what to wear but she sure as **** wouldn't be leaving the house wearing any of the above. That isn't trendy, it's trashy. Very, very trashy. 

Fashion trends that you put up with are the fugly mustard-colored sweaters in the fall, not letting it all hang out for everyone to see and dressing like a hooker.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

NextTimeAround said:


> No matter what one's shape is, I despise it when women wear leggings as if they were pants.


Well, for some time now, leggings are the only pants she wears. Usually with high heels.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Bob Moss said:


> Well, for some time now, leggings are the only pants she wears. Usually with high heels.


There is a whole thread here on people's opinions on wearing leggings as pants. I have nothing against women wearing leggings for pants but they sure as **** shouldn't be seethrough. Most women want leggings that are "squat proof" not "show off my thong" style.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

No, that's not acceptable clothes to be wearing out anywhere. Leggings, if you don't have something long over them covering your butt, show every crack and crevice from behind. Wearing a fishnet top over a bra or nothing is just trashy and exhibitionistic. I don't know what you can do about it except stop going out with her, honestly. I mean, if she were on the beach wearing a bikini and had a net top over it, that would be the only place it's not just trashy and exhibitionistic. I can't believe someone hasn't kicked her out.

I'm afraid my approach to it would be, Look, I can't tell you how to dress, but I can tell you as long as you're dressing like that, I'm not going anywhere with you.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

ABHale said:


> If she has never worn revealing clothing before, then something is up. Some women have never worn a top to the beach or anything else, really depends on where you live.
> 
> If she started wearing these new clothes around the two male friends, I would consider this a red flag.
> 
> ...


No her outfits were never so revealing and she was not going topless on the beach, let alone the crowded ones.

To be honest she avoids wearing these clothes when there are other women with us, and since these two friends (they are friends of both of us) are tho only single ones, it is what I have noticed. I can recall wearing clothes like these in front of other friends too, but when wives/gfs were not with us.

Also, yes, she dresses like this when we go out just the two of us, and sometimes when she goes alone. 

So, if it is not me but also not when someone else in particular is around, could it be for men in general?

We know these guys for about 2 years, but not having too close friendship.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

bobert said:


> There is a whole thread here on people's opinions on wearing leggings as pants. I have nothing against women wearing leggings for pants but they sure as **** shouldn't be seethrough. Most women want leggings that are "squat proof" not "show off my thong" style.


Some of hers are see-through, some are "wet-look", some latex... not many of the "squat proof ones".


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

TAMAT said:


> I suspect something is up could be as small as a crush on a man she wants to impress.
> 
> Most likely it's secret communication with someone.
> 
> ...


So you are pretty sure that there is someone else? Because we spend a lot of time together and we have good sex life and communication. For now there is no change in these two sectors but I will keep my eyes open and observe as you propose.

They are friends of both of us.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

aside from her attire or lack there of, how is her behavior, is it casual or overly flirtatious. 
also you interestedly note that she does not dress like that around other women which makes me thing that she does so to gain attention from men in general and your two friends. i would point that observation to her and ask her why she is willing to wear certain outfits when alone or in the company of men but not with other women.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

Married_in_michigan said:


> could it just be that she is either feeling really good about herself right now, or even just that she is trying to hold on to her youth? I know when my wife is feeling especially good about herself, she seems to start wearing more "sexy" outfits when we go out.
> 
> Are you sure it is related to these two other men, or could it just happen to be those guys have been around recently? Have you gone out recently with other people and she did not dress this way?


Of course this could be a possibility, but with these outfits it seems like she feels "really good" about herself. But hey, it is her right, if it is just that and nothing else.
To be honest, i noticed that she do not wear outfits like this when we are with other women, and since these two guys happen to be our only single friends, maybe thats why. I can recall sometimes when she was dressed like that in front of other friends too, but when wives/gfs were not around.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Your wife is clearly seeking attention and validation from men. Whether that's just glances, flirting, or more. Why? This isn't about being "trendy". Trends don't just disappear when other women are around.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

Rob_1 said:


> Trust your guts. If they are telling you that something's wrong then most likely yes, something is wrong. It could be nothing and all very innocent, but trust your guts. For now mouth shut and eyes wide open. these days a good indication that something is going on is the phone.


For now I am 50-50. Since nothing has changed in our sex life and communication, I think it may be just an "innocent" need for more sexuality.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Bob Moss said:


> For now I am 50-50. Since nothing has changed in our sex life and communication, I think it may be just an "innocent" need for more sexuality.


Running around naked or exposed, for men's attention, is innocent?


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

RandomDude said:


> Maybe she has some exhibitionist fantasies, find a place where you can be nude without getting arrested and let it all hang. Get it out of her system.


I am not into this. And we already tried, we went to a quiet beach with very few people, I did not went nude, but she did in no time. But even with this, nothing changed.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

bobert said:


> Seriously, how do you even let her leave the house? I'm not one to tell my wife what to wear but she sure as **** wouldn't be leaving the house wearing any of the above. That isn't trendy, it's trashy. Very, very trashy.
> 
> Fashion trends that you put up with are the fugly mustard-colored sweaters in the fall, not letting it all hang out for everyone to see and dressing like a hooker.


Well that's why I am in here, for opinions and ideas how to cope with that. However she is my wife, not my daughter, I cannot *order* her to do anything...


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Bob Moss said:


> Well that's why I am in here, for opinions and ideas how to cope with that. However she is my wife, not my daughter, I cannot *order* her to do anything...


Have you told her that you are uncomfortable with her crowd-specific style? And why and how it affects you? Any decent spouse would listen to that. It's not like you're being ridiculous here. You need to reconsider how good your communication really is.

Have you asked her WHY she only dresses like this for men? She says these are the trends, why do those trends vanish around other women?

If this started around the time she turned 30, is she trying to get back her youth?

And for the record, I'm the same age as you and I don't know a single person who dresses like that. Thank god.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Other women would tell her to put on some clothes. Other women would stop going out with her. Other women would ask her if she knew that you could see her whole butt through the leggings. I mean, they are knit and you can literally see flesh through them where they're stretched tight, like on the butt. We had a girl in our office who used to wear them and bend over and it was gross. They're to be worn only with tunics or something that covers the entire butt area down to the top of the thighs, even while bending, so like a short dress.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

DownByTheRiver said:


> No, that's not acceptable clothes to be wearing out anywhere. Leggings, if you don't have something long over them covering your butt, show every crack and crevice from behind. Wearing a fishnet top over a bra or nothing is just trashy and exhibitionistic. I don't know what you can do about it except stop going out with her, honestly. I mean, if she were on the beach wearing a bikini and had a net top over it, that would be the only place it's not just trashy and exhibitionistic. I can't believe someone hasn't kicked her out.
> 
> I'm afraid my approach to it would be, Look, I can't tell you how to dress, but I can tell you as long as you're dressing like that, I'm not going anywhere with you.


Well, to be honest, sometimes it is


DownByTheRiver said:


> No, that's not acceptable clothes to be wearing out anywhere. Leggings, if you don't have something long over them covering your butt, show every crack and crevice from behind. Wearing a fishnet top over a bra or nothing is just trashy and exhibitionistic. I don't know what you can do about it except stop going out with her, honestly. I mean, if she were on the beach wearing a bikini and had a net top over it, that would be the only place it's not just trashy and exhibitionistic. I can't believe someone hasn't kicked her out.
> 
> I'm afraid my approach to it would be, Look, I can't tell you how to dress, but I can tell you as long as you're dressing like that, I'm not going anywhere with you.


To be honest, some of the times I want to tell her the same, but i decided to deal carefully with the issue and see the reasons of this change.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

Lostinthought61 said:


> aside from her attire or lack there of, how is her behavior, is it casual or overly flirtatious.
> also you interestedly note that she does not dress like that around other women which makes me thing that she does so to gain attention from men in general and your two friends. i would point that observation to her and ask her why she is willing to wear certain outfits when alone or in the company of men but not with other women.


Her behaviour is casual and as usual. Nothing changed apart from the outfit. It is a possibility that she wants to show off to men, maybe I will make that question you propose in a second stage.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

bobert said:


> Running around naked or exposed, for men's attention, is innocent?


Well, I mean that it is just that and not an affair or something like that.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

bobert said:


> Your wife is clearly seeking attention and validation from men. Whether that's just glances, flirting, or more. Why? This isn't about being "trendy". Trends don't just disappear when other women are around.


Maybe you are right, maybe she started enjoying when men stare at her exposed parts.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Other women would tell her to put on some clothes. Other women would stop going out with her. Other women would ask her if she knew that you could see her whole butt through the leggings. I mean, they are knit and you can literally see flesh through them where they're stretched tight, like on the butt. We had a girl in our office who used to wear them and bend over and it was gross. They're to be worn only with tunics or something that covers the entire butt area down to the top of the thighs, even while bending, so like a short dress.


No dress or cover of any kind here. Extra tight leggings that does not even have to bend to become transparent.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Bob Moss said:


> Well, to be honest, sometimes it is
> 
> To be honest, some of the times I want to tell her the same, but i decided to deal carefully with the issue and see the reasons of this change.


Hey, you have a right to be embarrassed by this. Any reasonable person could understand your discomfort. I mean, at least say, Hon, I don't think we can go in this restaurant with you dressed like that. 

Has she ever been a stripper, by any chance?

I wonder if taking a photo of her from behind showing her butt crack would slow her down any, but I somehow doubt it if she's going topless.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

Although I'm not one to feel that a spouse should be too controlling, I do believe that a spouse or partner should be willing to discuss these issues with you, acknowledge your concern, and try to find a compromise. As an example, I have some Carhartt t-shirts that I wear. They are basically a huge walking billboard with CARHARTT written in huge letters across the back. My wife hates them. I really don't care. But, I promised to wear these for fieldwork only and not around town. Compromise! 

Your wife may be trying to capture some of her youth or may be trying to be trendy. However, the way she is dressing is really inviting issues into your marriage that could easily be avoided. If you dress "sexy" you will attract attention from the opposite sex. Just like with my Carhartt shirts, it's a walking billboard saying "look at me!"


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Bob Moss said:


> I am not into this. And we already tried, we went to a quiet beach with very few people, I did not went nude, but she did in no time. But even with this, nothing changed.


Considering she stripped off immediately looks more like she wishes to join the butt naked club.

Maybe that's not enough for her to just walk nude on the beach, take a naturalist vacation or join a naturalist club.

I agree with the others that you need to be firm with how it makes you uncomfortable but provide an outlet for her to express her nude self in a safe and non provocative way.


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## ah_sorandy (Jul 19, 2018)

I have always wanted my wife to dress sexy in public. When she was younger she had the body for it, and never used it to her advantage. Sure, I'd have been pleased to have her on my arm, making other men jealous!

I'm not the jealous type, so, when I took her on her 'turning 50 cruise', she got hit on 3 times while wearing her Bermuda shorts and tank tops. I stood back and let her handle these guys all on her own. I told her she could have got 'lucky'. She was not amused. LOL

On the other hand, there is a difference with dressing sexy and dressing slutty. I'm not sure where the difference lies. I guess, exposing too much of one's body is the difference.

I like it when a woman wears Yoga pants and low cut crop tops. Some would say that was sexy, others might say it was slutty. I'm on the sexy boat.!!!.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)




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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Bob Moss said:


> For now I am 50-50. Since nothing has changed in our sex life and communication, I think it may be just an "innocent" need for more sexuality.


Nothing has to change in your sex life for her to be cheating.

Where does she go alone when she dresses up like this? I am guessing it isn’t with the girlfriends and wives she knows.

There are to many threads where the wife cheated with close friend. 

If she is not dressing like this a round girlfriends and other wives this is a red flag.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

It's a red flag that she needs validation this bad. One thing you might do is ask her if she'd allow your future daughter to dress like that.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

DownByTheRiver said:


> It's a red flag that she needs validation this bad. One thing you might do is ask her if she'd allow your future daughter to dress like that.


I'm thinking the W would say yes to her daughter dressing like this. It only validates the OP W dressing like she is.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Well, if so, he'll know this shouldn't be the mother of his kids, I reckon.


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## ah_sorandy (Jul 19, 2018)

Yeswecan said:


>


What about unhappily married.???. LOL


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

ah_sorandy said:


> What about unhappily married.???. LOL


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

OP what exactly do you want? It must not bother you that much because most men I know would not let their wives be topless in public. 

It seems that you are unsure about what to think. 

If the way she dresses bothers you, tell her. If it doesn’t bother you, then who cares.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

I don’t think he would be here if it didn’t bother him. I think he’s having a problem with it and the excuses she is giving him for the way she’s dressing now.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Bob Moss said:


> Well, I mean that it is just that and not an affair or something like that.


Hopefully not yet but it is on its way.


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## hinterdir (Apr 17, 2018)

Bob Moss said:


> Hello to everyone.
> 
> Recently, my 30 yo wife (I am 35), started wearing much sexier outfits sometimes when we go out just the two of us or with two particular (male) friends of ours.
> 
> ...


You do not seem to have an issue with it so is this just curiosity from you?
If my wife went to a beach topless in a thong she would have crossed a line and things would go downhill. 

How big of a change is this for her? I mean, what kind of stuff did she used to wear?
I have no idea, other then just asking her point blank, "Honey, you used to wear A, B, C and now you wear X, Y, Z showing off a lot more of your nude body....why? Don't accept superficial answers like "following the new fashions", stay on it until you get the truth and a real answer.


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## hinterdir (Apr 17, 2018)

ABHale said:


> I don’t think he would be here if it didn’t bother him. I think he’s having a problem with it and the excuses she is giving him for the way she’s dressing now.


It doesn't seem to bother him much. 
I mean, if my wife bought this stuff and tried to wear it even one time I'd have a drop the world and get to the bottom of this conversation the moment she walked out of the bathroom wearing it. 
I mean, I couldn't even stay married to her if she decided to start dressing this way.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Hey, you have a right to be embarrassed by this. Any reasonable person could understand your discomfort. I mean, at least say, Hon, I don't think we can go in this restaurant with you dressed like that.
> 
> Has she ever been a stripper, by any chance?
> 
> I wonder if taking a photo of her from behind showing her butt crack would slow her down any, but I somehow doubt it if she's going topless.


No, of course she was never a stripper!
And yeah she has seen her butt crack, I have shown her photos and she says it is OK..


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

TX-SC said:


> Although I'm not one to feel that a spouse should be too controlling, I do believe that a spouse or partner should be willing to discuss these issues with you, acknowledge your concern, and try to find a compromise. As an example, I have some Carhartt t-shirts that I wear. They are basically a huge walking billboard with CARHARTT written in huge letters across the back. My wife hates them. I really don't care. But, I promised to wear these for fieldwork only and not around town. Compromise!
> 
> Your wife may be trying to capture some of her youth or may be trying to be trendy. However, the way she is dressing is really inviting issues into your marriage that could easily be avoided. If you dress "sexy" you will attract attention from the opposite sex. Just like with my Carhartt shirts, it's a walking billboard saying "look at me!"


I understand what you say, but i don't know if she is going to compromise, I have to talk about it with her more seriously, and see how it will go...


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

As I keep saying to OPs that can't seen to make up their mind or to get a pair: shut up and put up if you're not going to do anything; otherwise, give an ultimatum. 
Me: my wife coming out the room dressed up all slutty...wife your're not going alone or with me dressed up like that, if you go then you go not as my wife anymore. Take it or leave it. 
Follow through, because you don't give an ultimatum and then don't do it. She will never take seriously after you failing to follow through. 

Are you willing to give an ultimatum?
No? Then shut up and put up.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

RandomDude said:


> Considering she stripped off immediately looks more like she wishes to join the butt naked club.
> 
> Maybe that's not enough for her to just walk nude on the beach, take a naturalist vacation or join a naturalist club.
> 
> I agree with the others that you need to be firm with how it makes you uncomfortable but provide an outlet for her to express her nude self in a safe and non provocative way.


Yes, she took the bikini off really easy. Even when we left she did not put it back on, she put on just her shoes and backpack, totally naked and walked all the way back to the car like that.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

ah_sorandy said:


> I have always wanted my wife to dress sexy in public. When she was younger she had the body for it, and never used it to her advantage. Sure, I'd have been pleased to have her on my arm, making other men jealous!
> 
> I'm not the jealous type, so, when I took her on her 'turning 50 cruise', she got hit on 3 times while wearing her Bermuda shorts and tank tops. I stood back and let her handle these guys all on her own. I told her she could have got 'lucky'. She was not amused. LOL
> 
> ...


Up to a point, I am OK with it too, but the thing is that sometimes it is too extreme. I mean shorts and cut top is one thing, and exposing-buttcheeks denim ripped shorts, sheer top and very high heels is another.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

Where do you guys live, St. Tropez? Going around nude and topless etc seems very relaxed and permissive. Where you guys are, do other women also dress this way ?


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

Yeswecan said:


>


She is satisfied and all, I can tell you that.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Bob Moss said:


> Yes, she took the bikini off really easy. Even when we left she did not put it back on, she put on just her shoes and backpack, totally naked and walked all the way back to the car like that.


what you just described their sounds more like mental illness than anything.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

ABHale said:


> Nothing has to change in your sex life for her to be cheating.
> 
> Where does she go alone when she dresses up like this? I am guessing it isn’t with the girlfriends and wives she knows.
> 
> ...


She has been seen a few times out by friends that mentioned it to me and believe me, apart from being dressed like this, she was not flirting or reacted positive at any hit that she received.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

DownByTheRiver said:


> It's a red flag that she needs validation this bad. One thing you might do is ask her if she'd allow your future daughter to dress like that.


Will try that but i don't think that it will change anything..


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

Girl_power said:


> OP what exactly do you want? It must not bother you that much because most men I know would not let their wives be topless in public.
> 
> It seems that you are unsure about what to think.
> 
> If the way she dresses bothers you, tell her. If it doesn’t bother you, then who cares.


Just like you said it. Apart from a couple times that were really extreme, I am unsure about what to think since it is something recent and out of the blue.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

DownByTheRiver said:


> what you just described their sounds more like mental illness than anything.


Lol no, there were very few people there, even at the dirt road where we were parked, it was a remote and quite place.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

ABHale said:


> I don’t think he would be here if it didn’t bother him. I think he’s having a problem with it and the excuses she is giving him for the way she’s dressing now.


For a couple of times yes I am bothered, but in general I am trying to understand the situation and unsure how to look at all this.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Bob Moss said:


> No her outfits were never so revealing and she was not going topless on the beach, let alone the crowded ones.
> 
> To be honest she avoids wearing these clothes when there are other women with us, and since these two friends (they are friends of both of us) are tho only single ones, it is what I have noticed. I can recall wearing clothes like these in front of other friends too, but when wives/gfs were not with us.
> 
> ...


So she dresses like that with the men but not the women, what does that say? Its not acceptable for a women to dress like that for anyone but her husband, especially going topless. Cant believe you go along with it.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

hinterdir said:


> You do not seem to have an issue with it so is this just curiosity from you?
> If my wife went to a beach topless in a thong she would have crossed a line and things would go downhill.
> 
> How big of a change is this for her? I mean, what kind of stuff did she used to wear?
> I have no idea, other then just asking her point blank, "Honey, you used to wear A, B, C and now you wear X, Y, Z showing off a lot more of your nude body....why? Don't accept superficial answers like "following the new fashions", stay on it until you get the truth and a real answer.


It is curiosity and uncertainty because it is something new. 
It is a big change and the answers are the ones I said, plus that she feels comfortable with these "outfits". If she feels comfortable, do I have the right to tell her what to do or not?


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

bobert said:


>


Lol.something like this..


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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

I think it’s for validation as well. Especially if you say there’s two guy friends hanging around. It doesn’t mean she wants to get with them. She may just want to show off and have them think you’re lucky or something.

I always did this when I was feeling myself and wanted to show off. Shorts up my butt, little crop tops. I probably looked pretty stupid and I cringe at it now but live and learn ya know?

I don’t see why you couldn’t gently just say that she was embarrassing you. You’re half of the marriage. She probably wouldn’t like you going around in tight shorts with your dong busting out.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

Rob_1 said:


> As I keep saying to OPs that can't seen to make up their mind or to get a pair: shut up and put up if you're not going to do anything; otherwise, give an ultimatum.
> Me: my wife coming out the room dressed up all slutty...wife your're not going alone or with me dressed up like that, if you go then you go not as my wife anymore. Take it or leave it.
> Follow through, because you don't give an ultimatum and then don't do it. She will never take seriously after you failing to follow through.
> 
> ...


No, I cannot give an ultimatum, since i so not sure how to handle it. So your opinion in this case is that I should leave the things as they are and follow? Let her do whatever she wants? If we were talking about cheating, it would be an ultimatum for sure! But since there is not, I don't feel I should give one.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Bob Moss said:


> It is curiosity and uncertainty because it is something new.
> It is a big change and the answers are the ones I said, plus that she feels comfortable with these "outfits". If she feels comfortable, do I have the right to tell her what to do or not?


No you cant force her to wear what you would like her to wear, but you can say as some here have suggested several times that if she dresses like that you wont be going out with her. Its called setting boundaries. Then the choice is hers.


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## hinterdir (Apr 17, 2018)

Bob Moss said:


> No, I cannot give an ultimatum, since i so not sure how to handle it. So your opinion in this case is that I should leave the things as they are and follow? Let her do whatever she wants? If we were talking about cheating, it would be an ultimatum for sure! But since there is not, I don't feel I should give one.


I will be blunt. 
You sound scared. You sound like communication is poor. 
You should definitely tell your wife EXACTLY what you feel. Proud, update, jealous, turned on, disrespected, betrayed, angry, horny, worried......WHATEVER you feel, talk to your wife and tell her and ask her point blank why she is doing it. Why the change, why such nudity? If you do not like it then tell her. 
I do not understand why this hasn't already been a long conversation. 
She just takes her top off in public and you two have never talked about that before and apparently you still haven't had much of a talk about it. 
You act like you do not have a right to have a strong opinion and/or input on your own spouse going nude in public, being with other men like this?
How neutered are you?
Just speak up. If you do not like it, tell her. 
If she doesn't care if you like it or not then you know how much your spouse values your feelings or the intimacy of the marriage bond. 

Speak up man, quit being so scared to speak the truth in love.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

C.C. says ... said:


> I think it’s for validation as well. Especially if you say there’s two guy friends hanging around. It doesn’t mean she wants to get with them. She may just want to show off and have them think you’re lucky or something.
> 
> I always did this when I was feeling myself and wanted to show off. Shorts up my butt, little crop tops. I probably looked pretty stupid and I cringe at it now but live and learn ya know?
> 
> I don’t see why you couldn’t gently just say that she was embarrassing you. You’re half of the marriage. She probably wouldn’t like you going around in tight shorts with your dong busting out.


If there is no cheating, for which I am pretty sure there is not, it is not a "don't wear this or we break up" thing for me. It is just unknown area, something new and I am trying to figure out through opinions, how people see that and how should I react.
About the friends for example, I know that she doesn't want to get with them, so you think it is no big deal, that "phase" she is going through, being dressed like this in front of them. And anyway, they have seen most of her already, there's nothing I can do to change that now, not such a big deal to see her again.


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## hinterdir (Apr 17, 2018)

Bob Moss said:


> No, I cannot give an ultimatum, since i so not sure how to handle it. So your opinion in this case is that I should leave the things as they are and follow? Let her do whatever she wants? If we were talking about cheating, it would be an ultimatum for sure! But since there is not, I don't feel I should give one.


If your wife gives the sexual sight of her body freely to other men in public and then doesn't care at all how you feel about it then that tells you what kind of a marriage you have and how little she really values you.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Bob Moss said:


> No, I cannot give an ultimatum, since i so not sure how to handle it. So your opinion in this case is that I should leave the things as they are and follow? Let her do whatever she wants? If we were talking about cheating, it would be an ultimatum for sure! But since there is not, I don't feel I should give one.


Ultimatums are for when a person is sure what he/she is confidently sure of what a dealbreaker is. It is up to you what your dealbreakers are. If you don't care that she dresses slutty, then everything's fine. 
If you're not sure how to react then you must look within yourself and find the answer. 
If you don't like it but are not willing to tell her to stop dressing slutty, then shut up and put up.
If your uncertainty is due to you not knowing if the reason why she's doing it is to attract male's attention, then at least speak up about your displeasure about her dressing slutty, and ask the reason why all of the sudden she's dressing like that. After that mouth shut, eyes wide open, until you reach a conclusion as to what you want to do.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Why do these male friends not have dates when you and your wife go out with them?


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Honestly, how do YOU feel about it? Are you embarrassed? Excited? Proud? Ashamed? Excited but kind of scared? 

She may just be strutting her stuff....turning 30 messes with some people (male and female), like they are old and grown now....not young and sexy. 

IF you legitimately feel icky about it, then tell her that. Your wife shouldn't want you to be embarrassed by her or for her. I think you have to figure out how YOU feel, Not what strangers on the internet feel.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

hinterdir said:


> If your wife gives the sexual sight of her body freely to other men in public and then doesn't care at all how you feel about it then that tells you what kind of a marriage you have and how little she really values you.


But that's the thing. I am not even sure how I feel about it, since it was unexpected and have never thought about it before. I should give it a few time and some talking to clear it up, especially for me.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

Rob_1 said:


> Ultimatums are for when a person is sure what he/she is confidently sure of what a dealbreaker is. It is up to you what your dealbreakers are. If you don't care that she dresses slutty, then everything's fine.
> If you're not sure how to react then you must look within yourself and find the answer.
> If you don't like it but are not willing to tell her to stop dressing slutty, then shut up and put up.
> If your uncertainty is due to you not knowing if the reason why she's doing it is to attract male's attention, then at least speak up about your displeasure about her dressing slutty, and ask the reason why all of the sudden she's dressing like that. After that mouth shut, eyes wide open, until you reach a conclusion as to what you want to do.


I think I am going to go with giving it some time and reach a conclusion about how I feel, since if there is no cheating (for which I am pretty sure) I could just accept it if she feels comfortably with it.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Bob Moss said:


> She has been seen a few times out by friends that mentioned it to me and believe me, apart from being dressed like this, she was not flirting or reacted positive at any hit that she received.


Who were the friends?


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Some 'here' will say she is acting manic.

One thing is sure, she sure has a man-itch.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

ABHale said:


> Who were the friends?


Men and women friends of mine. Trusted opinions.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

SunCMars said:


> Some 'here' will say she is acting manic.
> 
> One thing is sure, she sure has a man-itch.


Nice one, lol.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

SunnyT said:


> Honestly, how do YOU feel about it? Are you embarrassed? Excited? Proud? Ashamed? Excited but kind of scared?
> 
> She may just be strutting her stuff....turning 30 messes with some people (male and female), like they are old and grown now....not young and sexy.
> 
> IF you legitimately feel icky about it, then tell her that. Your wife shouldn't want you to be embarrassed by her or for her. I think you have to figure out how YOU feel, Not what strangers on the internet feel.


As long as she is not cheating I am not so sure about how I feel. Going to have a serious talk and solve it.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

Again I will ask - is this sort of nudity normal for where you live ? Going topless on a beach is par for the course in much of Europe but perhaps not as common in the USA. And are you OK with your male friends seeing your wife nude or semi-nude while their other halves dress more moderately ?


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

manfromlamancha said:


> Again I will ask - is this sort of nudity normal for where you live ? Going topless on a beach is par for the course in much of Europe but perhaps not as common in the USA. And are you OK with your male friends seeing your wife nude or semi-nude while their other halves dress more moderately ?


No it is not that normal. For some beaches it is OK to go topless, but only a few ones, not all of them and especially not walking around like this. And of course not a married woman with a group of males, wearing only a tiny thong .
As if I am ok, the reason I am in here, is because I am not so sure about how I feel about it and how I will cope with it. Will have the big talk soon.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

Thank you all for your opinions, they were very helpful to make me think how I feel about it and how to work with the conversation about it. 
So I am going to have this big talk today and I will let you know how it went!


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

Bob Moss said:


> No it is not that normal. For some beaches it is OK to go topless, but only a few ones, not all of them and especially not walking around like this. And of course not a married woman with a group of males, wearing only a tiny thong .
> As if I am ok, the reason I am in here, is because I am not so sure about how I feel about it and how I will cope with it. Will have the big talk soon.


If that is the case, I am not sure I understand what you are needing to think about.
It's not normal to go topless apart from a few beaches (which means its not normal, period).
It certainly is not normal for a married (or any mature or taken) woman to walk around in only a skimpy tiny thong AND in the company of other males (do they not gawk at your wife ?)
You would not be here if you were OK with this (unless you are interested in the hot wife lifestyle).

So most men would not need to come to a forum like this for this behaviour. You can absolutely tell her that she needs to stop without any fear of coming across as controlling. In fact you might want to ask her what on earth was she thinking or what's going on with her for her to even do this in the first place (its that much over the line)!

I mean when you first saw the see through tights, net top with no bra, skimply clothes and finally, the nudity, did you not blow up? Was she not expecting you to blow up? If not, then why not? Why would she think this is OK?


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## Beach123 (Dec 6, 2017)

Bob Moss said:


> Well, I mean that it is just that and not an affair or something like that.


that you know of...

don’t assume it’s innocent. Something caused the change so ask her why the change... if it bothers you then tell her it’s bothering you.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

manfromlamancha said:


> If that is the case, I am not sure I understand what you are needing to think about.
> It's not normal to go topless apart from a few beaches (which means its not normal, period).
> It certainly is not normal for a married (or any mature or taken) woman to walk around in only a skimpy tiny thong AND in the company of other males (do they not gawk at your wife ?)
> You would not be here if you were OK with this (unless you are interested in the hot wife lifestyle).
> ...


As I said, I am here to take opinions and possible similar experiences in order to come to a conclusion in my mind. Because since there is *no cheating*, it may be a need for her to express her sensuality, her sexiness and i really do not want to be the strict, not understanding husband. Yes, they are gawking at her a lot, and she is like absolutely nothing happens, like some time ago, we were at a full bar, we were at a high bar table and she was sitting on a stool, wearing a really short and tight black dress and very high heels, her legs, all the way up were exposed, and so was her underwear, which was a totally see-through one. I haven't realised this at that moment, because I was sitting on the opposite side of the high table, but the three guys that came and sit to the low table next to us, on chairs, had her legs on the height of their faces, and the tables were really close. I know she has great legs and i did not care that they were gawking. Only before we leave, returning from the toilet, I clearly saw that the whole night, they were not staring just her legs, but everything, since as I said, the underwear was exposed and see-through, and she was not sitting very carefully. And the whole night, that she knew they were staring at her down there, she was talking like nothing happens.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

Again it seems to me that you are enjoying giving us titillating details and implying that you object but doing nothing with some statements that make no sense like "since there isn't cheating, who am I to tell my wife not to show off her undercarriage to single men when she just wants to be sensual" - I am amazed that you really cannot see how silly that sounds - unless....


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

manfromlamancha said:


> Again it seems to me that you are enjoying giving us titillating details and implying that you object but doing nothing with some statements that make no sense like "since there isn't cheating, who am I to tell my wife not to show off her undercarriage to single men when she just wants to be sensual" - I am amazed that you really cannot see how silly that sounds - unless....


I don't say I object. I say that I am not sure how to see it and what to do. To be more clear, i both feel awkward and a little bit ashamed, but sometimes I am "so what, not a really big deal".


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

manfromlamancha said:


> Again it seems to me that you are enjoying giving us titillating details and implying that you object but doing nothing with some statements that make no sense like "since there isn't cheating, who am I to tell my wife not to show off her undercarriage to single men when she just wants to be sensual" - I am amazed that you really cannot see how silly that sounds - unless....


Finally, someone said it.

Methinks_* someone's*_ getting off on his fantasy of his wife out showing the world what she's got. And in this fantasy, of course, she's got a perfect body, wears stiletto heels, wears leggings as a second skin, goes naked wherever she can without getting arrested, and all while the helpless OP watches. LOL. 

There have been other pervs here with the same storyline and I suspect this is more of the same....


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Finally, someone said it.
> 
> Methinks_* someone's*_ getting off on his fantasy of his wife out showing the world what she's got. And in this fantasy, of course, she's got a perfect body, wears stiletto heels, wears leggings as a second skin, goes naked wherever she can without getting arrested, and all while the helpless OP watches. LOL.
> 
> There have been other pervs here with the same storyline and I suspect this is more of the same....


I agree. I started thinking that quite a few posts ago that the OP is reliving a youthful time when he hoped, and maybe never did, have a woman that others would be envious of and he could enjoy that feeling.

With today's low standards of limits in sexy clothing there are virtually no limits to how see through, tight, and naked skin that can be exhibited by a woman in social environments. 

She knows that if anyone says a negative about it the "you're sexist" card can be immediately played.

Now, I'm for, and when a lot younger it was encouraged that my dates wore sexy clothes and showed plenty of skin.

But there was a line, and it was clear dates dressed for me. And if too much other attention I cut that off to the other partys quickly. 

Looking back I was young and foolish on this topic and don't recommend it now.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

My thought, which is sort of connected to this subject, is what may be lacking in a man who wants to have a partner who other men lust over, and so enjoy the fact that she dresses this way. I suspect that such a man may be a bit insecure and needs that feeling of having a woman who others apparently find attractive. Maybe it makes him feel more 'virile 'and 'manly'. A secure man wouldnt need or want her to dress like a prostitute. 
I suspect that many who stare at such women are more shocked at her appearance than attracted.
My husband is the most easy going laid back man ever, but even he would have a serious sit down talk with me if I ever started to dress in such a way. Mind you my husband finds modesty attractive in a woman.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Best of luck with this Bob.

I think you’re going about this the wrong way. If your wife is inclined to cheat and that is what this is about, she will be by the time you figure out how you feel about it. if you are OK with the chance that your wife might cheated on you, continue on the path you’re on now.

My suggestion is to just sit down with your wife and talk it out and actually ask her if she’s thinking of cheating on you. Don’t accuse her of cheating on you! Have a civil conversation about what is going on and why she’s changed her dress Habit. Ask her why she dresses like that around other men but not their wives and girlfriends. The only way you’re going to figure out how she feels about this is to actually talk with her.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

I would also suggest that you read the book, not just friends.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Every betrayed spouse has always said there is no cheating until they find out otherwise.


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## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

ABHale said:


> Every betrayed spouse has always said there is no cheating until they find out otherwise.


This is one of those where you want to "Like" it a thousand times... 

I think that this is almost the kiss of death when someone says that. 

Maybe this is the first one, but I have not seen a thread yet where someone said this and it actually turned out that she was not cheating... I am sure I has happen, I just have not seen it.


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## 40ish (Jul 27, 2020)

My thoughts on the situation - My wife is in her mid 40's and is in the best shape of her life, she looks fantastic! We regularly go to the gym, eat clean and live a healthy lifestyle. She dresses modestly around our kids and on a daily basis around town; no short shorts, modest tank tops, always wears a bra etc. When we go out to dance clubs (pre covid-19) though it's a different story lol. She will wear tight jeans, sexy crop tops or backless shirts with no bra. Not letting it all hang out mind you, mostly black tops, not see thru - she dresses sexy not slutty, I believe there is a difference although it may be a fine line. I would say most people at the dance club dress more sexy at the club than around town so my wife fits in with the crowd, and at the same time stands out. 

Every time we go out she gets compliments, every time. Young girls come up and say "I hope when I'm your age I look as good as you do". They will hug and take pictures together lol. Other girls will try to dance on her when I run to the restroom. Young guys are always staring and trying to pick her up. Older couples try to get us to swing. We have watched guys staring at my wife, get busted by their wife, cause a fight and they leave the club ha ha. Other times when I run to get us drinks I will say "You should get off the dance floor, you already know what will happen" Sure enough, when I come back she is surrounded by guys trying to move in, the wedding ring does not help. 

I admit it, I love to watch my wife walk into the dance club, see everyone staring, and she walks up to ME. I'm so proud, like the emoji with heart eyes lol.  She even got up on the bar at Cowgirls and danced with all the young girls lol. Maybe its a midlife crisis - we both know this can't last forever but we will keep riding the wave as long as we can. I like that my wife feels confident enough to dress like that on occasion. How does the song go " I want a lady in the streets but a freak in the bed"?

While she has never gone topless on a public beach, we have sunbathed in the nude randomly when no one was around. She would NEVER go topless if anyone could see. She has flashed me on occasion in public though, and in elevators. There may be video surveillance that captured the incident...😬 

My wife has always been a wild child, 25 years of marriage has not changed it, if anything she is getting more wild lol. She is proud of how she looks and so am I. She works out hard to stay in shape and on occasion she shows it off. I say dress sexy, not slutty. Be a little bit risky, but not too much. If you're not living on the edge, you are taking up too much space...


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

40ish that is awesome!!

Glad the two of you are enjoying the ride. Your wife sounds like a classy sexy lady.

This is the difference between your wife and Bob’s wife. Your wife is dressing up and doing this while she is out with you and this is how she dresses up for the dance club. It doesn’t matter who is there, this is what she wears. 

Bob’s wife dresses the way she does only if the other friends wives and girlfriends aren’t with them. She also does it when she goes out by herself.
She picks and chooses the company she shows her half naked body to. She isn’t doing it for Bob.


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

If your wife is not cheating with one of your “friends” already, then she is on the prowl for one of them. I think any woman flaunting her breast instinctively knows the sexual power she wields. 

You should be able to tell your wife / girlfriend to stop Without it being accused of being controlling. This is obviously bothering you or you would not have come on this forum but you have suppressed your concerns because you’re afraid of her Reaction.

Women despise weakness in men. Her recent change has been a huge sh.. test which you’re failing. So you can expect her to turn up the volume when it comes to flaunting herself until you put your foot down or she is able to monkey branch to a man she perceives as stronger or more worthy.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

We have all heard of _click bait_, this Thread might be one example
If real, OP's wife is _crick your neck bait_!


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Bob Moss said:


> As I said, I am here to take opinions and possible similar experiences in order to come to a conclusion in my mind. Because since there is *no cheating*, it may be a need for her to express her sensuality, her sexiness and i really do not want to be the strict, not understanding husband. Yes, they are gawking at her a lot, and she is like absolutely nothing happens, like some time ago, we were at a full bar, we were at a high bar table and she was sitting on a stool, wearing a really short and tight black dress and very high heels, her legs, all the way up were exposed, and so was her underwear, which was a totally see-through one. I haven't realised this at that moment, because I was sitting on the opposite side of the high table, but the three guys that came and sit to the low table next to us, on chairs, had her legs on the height of their faces, and the tables were really close. I know she has great legs and i did not care that they were gawking. Only before we leave, returning from the toilet, I clearly saw that the whole night, they were not staring just her legs, but everything, since as I said, the underwear was exposed and see-through, and she was not sitting very carefully. And the whole night, that she knew they were staring at her down there, she was talking like nothing happens.


And you just accepted that and didn't call her out? She KNEW they were looking at her crotch in see through panties, and did NOTHING to stop them? I think you have an issue here. Regular married women to NOT expose their parts to other men. Period. It's not a fashion statement, it's not trendy. It's slutty. Its actively LOOKING for other men to stare at her. You are ok with your friends seeing her topless? Wearing slutty clothes? What do you think is the message SHE is sending out to men wearing that? It's not "I'm happily married".


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Maybe she wanted to be a zlut when she was younger but now is trying to make up for lost time.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

jlg07 said:


> And you just accepted that and didn't call her out? She KNEW they were looking at her crotch in see through panties, and did NOTHING to stop them? I think you have an issue here. Regular married women to NOT expose their parts to other men. Period. It's not a fashion statement, it's not trendy. It's slutty. Its actively LOOKING for other men to stare at her. You are ok with your friends seeing her topless? Wearing slutty clothes? What do you think is the message SHE is sending out to men wearing that? It's not "I'm happily married".


But at the beginning I did not realise it, since, I was sitting on the opposite side of the table, and this was out of my view. Much later that I saw it, while I was coming back from the toilet, I took her and we left. What should I do, fight with them because they were looking at something SHE was showing them?


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

ABHale said:


> Best of luck with this Bob.
> 
> I think you’re going about this the wrong way. If your wife is inclined to cheat and that is what this is about, she will be by the time you figure out how you feel about it. if you are OK with the chance that your wife might cheated on you, continue on the path you’re on now.
> 
> My suggestion is to just sit down with your wife and talk it out and actually ask her if she’s thinking of cheating on you. Don’t accuse her of cheating on you! Have a civil conversation about what is going on and why she’s changed her dress Habit. Ask her why she dresses like that around other men but not their wives and girlfriends. The only way you’re going to figure out how she feels about this is to actually talk with her.


I have had the conversation as many of you proposed, with my wife last night. 
I asked her the reason she does that and, told her about my concerns that her over-exposing may lead to cheating on me. 
Her response was that some time ago, some incidents, like an accidental upskirt, or a bend over with leggings, caused the staring of strangers, and that instead of her usual feeling of shame, she felt excited, erotic, turned on. Just because some other guys were staring at her exposed particular parts. 
She said she has no desire for going with another man, she has no intention cheating on me. But she understands that her desire to show off makes me think that she will. So she said I can check her phone any time, that she can tell me her location anytime she goes out alone and if I want, we can only go out together, in general, anything I need to to to trust her. 
But regarding the showing off, she cannot stop it, since it is a big sexual stimulation for her. We agreed that she can do it, as long as we are not with ANY friends, males or females.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

40ish said:


> My thoughts on the situation - My wife is in her mid 40's and is in the best shape of her life, she looks fantastic! We regularly go to the gym, eat clean and live a healthy lifestyle. She dresses modestly around our kids and on a daily basis around town; no short shorts, modest tank tops, always wears a bra etc. When we go out to dance clubs (pre covid-19) though it's a different story lol. She will wear tight jeans, sexy crop tops or backless shirts with no bra. Not letting it all hang out mind you, mostly black tops, not see thru - she dresses sexy not slutty, I believe there is a difference although it may be a fine line. I would say most people at the dance club dress more sexy at the club than around town so my wife fits in with the crowd, and at the same time stands out.
> 
> Every time we go out she gets compliments, every time. Young girls come up and say "I hope when I'm your age I look as good as you do". They will hug and take pictures together lol. Other girls will try to dance on her when I run to the restroom. Young guys are always staring and trying to pick her up. Older couples try to get us to swing. We have watched guys staring at my wife, get busted by their wife, cause a fight and they leave the club ha ha. Other times when I run to get us drinks I will say "You should get off the dance floor, you already know what will happen" Sure enough, when I come back she is surrounded by guys trying to move in, the wedding ring does not help.
> 
> ...


It sounds great, you two having a good time! For me it happened to be very recent, and for the moment, more extreme. It is because for her it is not about the risk, it is to make sure she is seen.
I have made the talk with her and wrote about it in my answer to ABHale.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

BluesPower said:


> This is one of those where you want to "Like" it a thousand times...
> 
> I think that this is almost the kiss of death when someone says that.
> 
> Maybe this is the first one, but I have not seen a thread yet where someone said this and it actually turned out that she was not cheating... I am sure I has happen, I just have not seen it.


Posted an answer to ABHale about our conversation last night which includes the cheating issue.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

What she was/is doing is cheating. It is a sexual high she gets from other men seeing her. Once just a look doesn’t give that to her anymore it will lead to other measures for the high she gets from this.

It is no different then texting nudes to a stranger, she is just doing it in person. She is showing her body for the sexual rush she gets from it. This isn’t being a nudist.

So, how is she releasing the sexual tension that builds up? 

Is she coming home to you?

Does she take care of her self thinking of all the men that got a real good look?

The next step is the men taking care of her themselves.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

@Bob Moss your wife has her ass in the store window. For now. 
When someone who she finds really attractive hits on her the story will change. Her next move will probably be that she goes out on her own “just to see how many men hit on her” and you can turn up later and she leaves with you. Then you get the ego boost you do desperately want. 
And eventually she will want to go further and further. But hey, she may let you watch. 
@She’sStillGotIt has it right I think.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Check her phone! Go through everything on it.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Is she still going out alone showing other men her body? You know people can have sex in their car, they don’t even have to leave the parking lot.

Her: I am at the club and this guy is checking me out!!!!

You: Her phone shows she is at the club.

Her: Banging away in the guy’s car at the club.

How’s that for knowing where she is. Have a happy marriage Bob, if you can now.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Sounds your wife is an exhibitionist, someone who meets their sexual satisfaction via being exposed, it does not necessarily lead to cheating....but it can lead to unwanted advances by others. 
Given the right environment it can be titillating for the both of you but with out you there it can be misinterpreted by others in which she will either be hit on by aggressive men or **** shamed by women....both of you will need to gain a better understanding of appropriate boundaries.


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

You accepted that answer? 
Did you ever think to ask her what happens when the tinkles are not as intense from men just lusting after her? What will be the next step to keep the excitement going ? 

This woman is on the prowl. Do you know how quickly a woman can get Into a no strings attached sexual encounter? Having access to her phone won’t help with what she’s on the prowl for.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

ABHale said:


> Is she still going out alone showing other men her body? You know people can have sex in their car, they don’t even have to leave the parking lot.
> 
> Her: I am at the club and this guy is checking me out!!!!
> 
> ...


Well she gave me the choice to only let her go out with me. And I plan doing it.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

Lostinthought61 said:


> Sounds your wife is an exhibitionist, someone who meets their sexual satisfaction via being exposed, it does not necessarily lead to cheating....but it can lead to unwanted advances by others.
> Given the right environment it can be titillating for the both of you but with out you there it can be misinterpreted by others in which she will either be hit on by aggressive men or **** shamed by women....both of you will need to gain a better understanding of appropriate boundaries.


Yes, she mentioned that. Exhibitionism. What do you mean by unwanted advances?
No we agreed for me to always be around.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

jsmart said:


> You accepted that answer?
> Did you ever think to ask her what happens when the tinkles are not as intense from men just lusting after her? What will be the next step to keep the excitement going ?
> 
> This woman is on the prowl. Do you know how quickly a woman can get Into a no strings attached sexual encounter? Having access to her phone won’t help with what she’s on the prowl for.


Well she has almost zero time on her own, without me being around. So for now I am OK with that choice of her and have my eyes open. In case she even tries to cheat, she s out.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

I wonder how many photos are going around the Internet that your wife from the bar scene. You do know those guys were taking pics of your wife’s snatch right. Sending them to all of their friends. Heck your wife could be a Internet sensation and not even know it. Here you are completely oblivious to the fact that your wife is purposely showing herself to three men. What they must’ve thought of you. 😂😂


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

So it's suddenly not trendy, it gets her off. Imagine that  

What does your wife do for a living? Depending on what she does she could find herself being fired if pictures of her dressing like this start popping up. Don't be a fool, they already exist on people's phones.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Lostinthought61 said:


> Sounds your wife is an exhibitionist, someone who meets their sexual satisfaction via being exposed, it does not necessarily lead to cheating....but it can lead to unwanted advances by others.
> Given the right environment it can be titillating for the both of you but with out you there it can be misinterpreted by others in which she will either be hit on by aggressive men or **** shamed by women....both of you will need to gain a better understanding of appropriate boundaries.


Yes, we are not supposed to interpret the way someone dresses as "She's asking for it," but some men (women, maybe), will. I wouldn't go out with a femal friend dressed like this guy's wife, because I don't want that assumption laid on me. ie Birds of a feather ......


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

NextTimeAround said:


> Yes, we are not supposed to interpret the way someone dresses as "She's asking for it," but some men (women, maybe), will. I wouldn't go out with a femal friend dressed like this guy's wife, because I don't want that assumption laid on me. ie Birds of a feather ......


Sure, you are right, but thats the society, people interpret everything their own way. My wife enjoys being seen, not cheating with others.


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## Mylehigh (Jul 8, 2019)

Yeswecan said:


>


This looks like something you would see on the wall of Dana Carvey's Church Lady.

A happily married woman hides her body?!? 

A woman who is comfortable with her body and sexuality is shameful?!? Shameful to whom?


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Bob Moss said:


> Yes, she mentioned that. Exhibitionism. What do you mean by unwanted advances?
> No we agreed for me to always be around.


Believe it or not there are some men out there who will see a woman provocatively dressed and will assume that she is open to be hit on....that is what i mean by unwanted advances.


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

A happily married woman doesn’t send out signals of availability. Doesn’t mean she’ll dress like a prude but will not want to bring unnecessary attention from other men. 

A woman that’s putting her goods on display should be ashamed for her lack of self respect. I’m not saying a woman should look drab but the pendulum has swung so far that you have women that will come to the defense of a woman that’s dressed like a street walker


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Bob Moss said:


> Sure, you are right, but thats the society, people interpret everything their own way. My wife enjoys being seen, not cheating with others.


I should have added that some men can get very aggressive. I would rather avoid a problem than stand on principle and come what may.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

My brother used to be friends with this woman at college. One day she went on campus with a t-shirt that said in large letters: GIB. Underneath that in smaller letters, it said: Good in Bed.

She complained to my brother that all these guys were leering at her. My brother had no sympathy and said "With that t-shirt, what would you expect?"


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Bob Moss said:


> Well she has almost zero time on her own, without me being around. So for now I am OK with that choice of her and have my eyes open. In case she even tries to cheat, she s out.


What do you mean she has zero time alone. She goes out to the bars by her self at times. You have no clue what she does when she leaves the bar. neither do your friends unless they were following her to make sure she went straight home.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Bob Moss said:


> Sure, you are right, but thats the society, people interpret everything their own way. My wife enjoys being seen, not cheating with others.


Just to be honest with you Bob. You can’t say this as truth. Your wife has already lied to you about the reasons she was doing it. Why would she not lie if she was cheating on you.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

Lostinthought61 said:


> Believe it or not there are some men out there who will see a woman provocatively dressed and will assume that she is open to be hit on....that is what i mean by unwanted advances.


I see. Well if the woman is not alone out there, but with the husband, I guess they won't assume that.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

ABHale said:


> What do you mean she has zero time alone. She goes out to the bars by her self at times. You have no clue what she does when she leaves the bar. neither do your friends unless they were following her to make sure she went straight home.


I am talking about our latest discussion, that in order to ensure me that she is into just showing and not cheating, told me that she is willing to never go out alone, only with me.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

NextTimeAround said:


> My brother used to be friends with this woman at college. One day she went on campus with a t-shirt that said in large letters: GIB. Underneath that in smaller letters, it said: Good in Bed.
> 
> She complained to my brother that all these guys were leering at her. My brother had no sympathy and said "With that t-shirt, what would you expect?"


She is not complaining about being stared. This is what she wants.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

No, they still will.

Ask some of the men who were or are players. They will in a heartbeat and think nothing of it but a challenge that works out every now and then.

More than a few times a woman slipped me her phone number when I casted a lighthearted hook her way, and then went back to my group. As they left or her friends were paring dow, she or her gf would walk over, say thanks, and hand me a napkin with a ph number, on the down low.

I'd think nothing of buying what a lady is drinking at the bar with her male friend or group of friends, with directions to the barkeep to give it to her only after I was back with my group and when her drink was nearing half full.

That had a 40% success rate.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

You cannot be this naïve. I’m going with the others now, you’re getting off on this. I’m thinking you’re getting off on the fact that your wife might be doing someone else. That’s your choice hope it works out for you


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Bob Moss said:


> I see. Well if the woman is not alone out there, but with the husband, I guess they won't assume that.


Wrong, There are couples that go to the bar so their wives can pick up a stranger. They are just going to think you and your wife are the same.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Bob Moss said:


> I have had the conversation as many of you proposed, with my wife last night.
> I asked her the reason she does that and, told her about my concerns that her over-exposing may lead to cheating on me.
> Her response was that some time ago, some incidents, like an accidental upskirt, or a bend over with leggings, caused the staring of strangers, and that instead of her usual feeling of shame, she felt excited, erotic, turned on. Just because some other guys were staring at her exposed particular parts.
> She said she has no desire for going with another man, she has no intention cheating on me. But she understands that her desire to show off makes me think that she will. So she said I can check her phone any time, that she can tell me her location anytime she goes out alone and if I want, we can only go out together, in general, anything I need to to to trust her.
> But regarding the showing off, she cannot stop it, since it is a big sexual stimulation for her. We agreed that she can do it, as long as we are not with ANY friends, males or females.


You need to make her go to a psychologist. This is a destructive fetish she has.

And for God's sake, don't let her around your place of business. She will conceal it from you, but she WILL flash them and no one will have any respect for you there anymore. 

And also realize if she doesn't fix this, she's going to be still doing it when she's 60 and looks like pure hell and she's going to need to do it even worse then for the validation, which she's not going to get and eventually she will get in trouble with the law some way over this. She'll flash a teenager or something.

Your wife is a sick flasher, no different than the weinie wagger on the subway. DO something about it.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Although I disagree, @DownByTheRiver may be right.

I'm thinking it's not necessarily a trip to a psychologist needed but while it's not unexpected she wants to flaunt a bit of sexuality to reinforce her belief she's still hot even getting older, it's not productive if her acting out is causing problems in your relationship. 

Of course you getting off a bit with her exhibitionism is still a possibility which is why you don't want to hard stop to it. 

This can be enjoyed, if safe boundaries are established that seem to be missing here.

Or she'll grow past it on her own.

Or she's waiting on you to put limits on it to establish some dominance, which indeed may be a strong possibility. 

Hemming and hawing isn't helpful.

Decide. Do or do not. There is no try.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Bob Moss said:


> But at the beginning I did not realise it, since, I was sitting on the opposite side of the table, and this was out of my view. Much later that I saw it, while I was coming back from the toilet, I took her and we left. What should I do, fight with them because they were looking at something SHE was showing them?


No you should have talked to HER about it and how it was unacceptable. I DID say in my original post to "call HER OUT", not them. The guys are not the problem SHE IS THE PROBLEM.
This will lead to NO good. You are ok with your wife getting her jollies from other guys by showing off her privates? Good luck, I think you will need it.


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## Mylehigh (Jul 8, 2019)

DownByTheRiver said:


> ...And also realize if she doesn't fix this, she's going to be still doing it when she's 60 and looks like pure hell and she's going to need to do it even worse then for the validation, which she's not going to get and eventually she will get in trouble with the law some way over this. She'll flash a teenager or something.


Yikes! You think women that are attractive when they are young(er) look like "pure hell" when they are 60? What, are you 19?


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Bob Moss said:


> I see. Well if the woman is not alone out there, but with the husband, I guess they won't assume that.


we can test that theory quite easily...bring your wife to a bar where men out number women....go to the rest room and see what happens.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

I suppose....

Some women who works at Hooters could be said to be like this, to feel this way.

Carried further, some women who work at strip clubs could be said to be like this, to feel this way.

Some women who work in Las Vegas and strip down to 'almost' nothing could be said to be like your wife.

I sort of get it. We see it all the time. But, not quite as you have described it.
It's a big world, and full of variety.

Not all women who work at Hooters or strip clubs are married and if they are, not all cheat on their partners.
The odds are that they can, and do.....at times.

Women have been flaunting their bodies since the beginning of time. 
And, it works, if they want attention.

Attention from men is cheap.
Need I say more?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Bob Moss said:


> I have had the conversation as many of you proposed, with my wife last night.
> I asked her the reason she does that and, told her about my concerns that her over-exposing may lead to cheating on me.
> Her response was that some time ago, some incidents, like an accidental upskirt, or a bend over with leggings, caused the staring of strangers, and that instead of her usual feeling of shame, she felt excited, erotic, turned on. Just because some other guys were staring at her exposed particular parts.
> She said she has no desire for going with another man, she has no intention cheating on me. But she understands that her desire to show off makes me think that she will. So she said I can check her phone any time, that she can tell me her location anytime she goes out alone and if I want, we can only go out together, in general, anything I need to to to trust her.
> But regarding the showing off, she cannot stop it, since it is a big sexual stimulation for her. We agreed that she can do it, as long as we are not with ANY friends, males or females.


She's a clear exhibitionist. There are plenty of outlets for this as exhibitionism is very common. Google it.

However - your wife is not exposing herself AT a correct venue, a random pub - like really? Take it to a nude beach, naturalist club, swinger club, where it's legal and non provocative. Take nude photography, web cam while hiding your face, much better than exposing to a bunch of horny drunks.

Also this is threading on dangerous ground now - yes I've seen it work, but with anything 'consensual-extramarital' your marriage needs to be strong prior to undertaking any of it (yes, exhibitionism is part of it, your wife is exposing herself to others either than her husband). You two need more than just that sit down, and you need to be 100% honest and transparent, and give each other the stop button at any time. 
Google swinging, it'll give you an example of the type of boundaries and relationship you need to have before you venture into something like this.

Also, tell her not to do something like this ever again without talking it out with you first, these things need to be discussed beforehand, you don't just randomly drop your panties in public and expect your partner to go along with it.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Bob Moss said:


> I have had the conversation as many of you proposed, with my wife last night.
> I asked her the reason she does that and, told her about my concerns that her over-exposing may lead to cheating on me.
> Her response was that some time ago, some incidents, like an accidental upskirt, or a bend over with leggings, caused the staring of strangers, and that instead of her usual feeling of shame, she felt excited, erotic, turned on. Just because some other guys were staring at her exposed particular parts.
> She said she has no desire for going with another man, she has no intention cheating on me. But she understands that her desire to show off makes me think that she will. So she said I can check her phone any time, that she can tell me her location anytime she goes out alone and if I want, we can only go out together, in general, anything I need to to to trust her.
> But regarding the showing off, she cannot stop it, since it is a big sexual stimulation for her. We agreed that she can do it, as long as we are not with ANY friends, males or females.


Yes she can stop it, of course she can, and if it concerns you she should. Its pretty selfish actually, she isnt thinking of other people and the effect how she dresses has on them, or you.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Mylehigh said:


> This looks like something you would see on the wall of Dana Carvey's Church Lady.
> 
> A happily married woman hides her body?!?
> 
> A woman who is comfortable with her body and sexuality is shameful?!? Shameful to whom?


Many women are very comfortable with their body but dont see the need to show it off to everyone. It those who are very insecure who need/want to do that.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

jsmart said:


> A happily married woman doesn’t send out signals of availability. Doesn’t mean she’ll dress like a prude but will not want to bring unnecessary attention from other men.
> 
> A woman that’s putting her goods on display should be ashamed for her lack of self respect. I’m not saying a woman should look drab but the pendulum has swung so far that you have women that will come to the defense of a woman that’s dressed like a street walker


As a women myself I usually feel sad when I see a woman who feels the need to dress like that. I wish she felt more secure in herself and liked herself more.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

So once again, why exactly are you here ?


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## hinterdir (Apr 17, 2018)

Bob Moss said:


> I have had the conversation as many of you proposed, with my wife last night.
> I asked her the reason she does that and, told her about my concerns that her over-exposing may lead to cheating on me.
> Her response was that some time ago, some incidents, like an accidental upskirt, or a bend over with leggings, caused the staring of strangers, and that instead of her usual feeling of shame, she felt excited, erotic, turned on. Just because some other guys were staring at her exposed particular parts.
> She said she has no desire for going with another man, she has no intention cheating on me. But she understands that her desire to show off makes me think that she will. So she said I can check her phone any time, that she can tell me her location anytime she goes out alone and if I want, we can only go out together, in general, anything I need to to to trust her.
> But regarding the showing off, she cannot stop it, since it is a big sexual stimulation for her. We agreed that she can do it, as long as we are not with ANY friends, males or females.


lol,
ok.
Well you guys will probably be divorced soon.
I would still not accept it because.....I do not want any men seeing my wife exposed nude or semi nude. I do not want their eyes to have that sexual pleasure and knowledge of someone I consider special and intimate. Especially if she is actually getting off on other men seeing her.
You do not have any of those feelings? As long as no one actually touches her or sticks a **** in her you couldn't care less how many men see her naked and how many strangers get to share in the visual access to your wife?
I guess we are all cut differently.
I do not think I'd want a relationship with this porn show lady anymore.

ps - people do not have to feel "shame" but usually that is just something private and intimate. You do not have to feel shame about your body that doesn't mean you have to want to flash and reveal your intimate parts that your mate gets access to....to all men in view of her.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Dressing like that she makes her self a target. She likes all the guys and some girls lusting after her. One day she will catch the attention of the wrong male and you will not be around. I have supervised rapists and murderers for over 20 yrs. You would be very supeised how many sex offenders there are among you that you interact with daily and have no clue. And in that bar staring at your wife.

I do not even let my wife go to Walmart alone. People are walking around compleatly unaware of the wolves watching for opportunity to present. Your wife is playing Russian Roulette every time she goes out in public dressed that way.


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## hinterdir (Apr 17, 2018)

Mylehigh said:


> This looks like something you would see on the wall of Dana Carvey's Church Lady.
> 
> A happily married woman hides her body?!?
> 
> A woman who is comfortable with her body and sexuality is shameful?!? Shameful to whom?


Well, what you are passive aggressively digging at is that sexuality is normally and at its most healthy....shared just between the 2 people in the relationship.
You are kind of spinning the "hip" I am confident....hence let's flash my body for all the men out there and my husband now becomes just one of 100 or 1000s who get to enjoy my body.
She is getting her sexual high from other men and attention from men that is not her husband. 
Nice dig at faith though.


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

RandomDude said:


> She's a clear exhibitionist. There are plenty of outlets for this as exhibitionism is very common. Google it.
> 
> However - your wife is not exposing herself AT a correct venue, a random pub - like really? Take it to a nude beach, naturalist club, swinger club, where it's legal and non provocative. Take nude photography, web cam while hiding your face, much better than exposing to a bunch of horny drunks.
> 
> ...


This is a good idea, a naturalist or swingers club, and the webcam/photography. But I don't know if it is going to be enough to make her stop showing off at random guys.

And of course you are right about talking before doing anything like this again..


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

hinterdir said:


> lol,
> ok.
> Well you guys will probably be divorced soon.
> I would still not accept it because.....I do not want any men seeing my wife exposed nude or semi nude. I do not want their eyes to have that sexual pleasure and knowledge of someone I consider special and intimate. Especially if she is actually getting off on other men seeing her.
> ...


I understand what you mean, and it is the "normal" thing for the majority out there. But all people are different. Especially when it comes to exotic desires.
For me the MOST important is that no-one will stick a ** in her as you said. And it is not her desire. Exposing herself is also awkward for me, most of the times (but not at the level of cheating), and that's why we agreed to some limits, when it comes to friends, neighborhood, work environment etc. But if it is an erotic pleasure, I cannot totally block it, because it would explode. It is her desire that strangers see her exposed. It is weird for me , but i can accept it as an erotic desire (within some limits), the fact, as she said, she wants to feel exposed and be seen sexy dressed or uncovered buy other men, she wants to know that as many men as possible have seen her naked, or her naked parts, and she cannot hide anything from them. She has told me in our conversation, that she feels so hot when she sees again guys (friend or stranger, doesn't matter) who have seen her naked parts or fully naked before, knowing that these guys know very well how her p*_, a*_ and b**** look, that she cannot hide anything from them.


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## Mylehigh (Jul 8, 2019)

hinterdir said:


> Well, what you are passive aggressively digging at is that sexuality is normally and at its most healthy....shared just between the 2 people in the relationship.
> You are kind of spinning the "hip" I am confident....hence let's flash my body for all the men out there and my husband now becomes just one of 100 or 1000s who get to enjoy my body.
> She is getting her sexual high from other men and attention from men that is not her husband.
> Nice dig at faith though.


The 19th century called and asked for its vision of women back...


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## Mylehigh (Jul 8, 2019)

Diana7 said:


> Many women are very comfortable with their body but dont see the need to show it off to everyone. It those who are very insecure who need/want to do that.


Generalize much?


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## hinterdir (Apr 17, 2018)

Mylehigh said:


> The 19th century called and asked for its vision of women back...


I see you are pretty focused on claiming it is "empowering" to walk around naked.
I guess this poster is of the ilk that thinks strippers and prostitutes are some modern examples of some sort of women's empowerment utopia.
I am not even sure what you are arguing FOR.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

hinterdir said:


> I see you are pretty focused on claiming it is "empowering" to walk around naked.
> I guess this poster is of the ilk that thinks strippers and prostitutes are some modern examples of some sort of women's empowerment utopia.
> I am not even sure what you are arguing FOR.


It's kind of like Muslim women who claim that they are happy to cover their heads and sometimes their whole face because they are free underneath the headdress. I guess to be forced to wear headdress is a very empowering circumstance.


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## hinterdir (Apr 17, 2018)

wow, muslims in sheets.
what a dishonest, BS, strawman argument.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

hinterdir said:


> wow, muslims in sheets.
> what a dishonest, BS, strawman argument.


Who said that?


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

hinterdir said:


> I see you are pretty focused on claiming it is "empowering" to walk around naked.
> I guess this poster is of the ilk that thinks strippers and prostitutes are some modern examples of some sort of women's empowerment utopia.
> I am not even sure what you are arguing FOR.


This isn't even just walking around naked. If she wanted to be a naturist, that's one thing. She does not. She wants to sexualize herself to other men. Again, it sends off an AWFUL signal to others about their marriage, and I think it's VERY disrespectful to her husband, who basically is being forced into accepting this. HE is clearly uncomfortable from his initial posts, and after "talking" with her is desperately trying to rationalize allowing her to do this.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Bob Moss said:


> It is weird for me , but i can accept it as an erotic desire (within some limits), the fact, as she said, she wants to feel exposed and be seen sexy dressed or uncovered buy other men, she wants to know that as many men as possible have seen her naked, or her naked parts, and she cannot hide anything from them.


So she likes being uncovered by other men?!?!?!?!

Who undressed her and what did they do once they got her naked?

You have no clue if your wife has been groped or ****ed by someone else. You are taken the word of someone that has already lied to you. The way she has already humiliated you in public, she will continue to do so.

Hope you enjoy the humiliation, because a **** load is coming your way. I give her a month until she ask to for interaction with other guys or to cuckold you.

There is no doubt that she has already been having sex or mutual touching. Does she consider other guys groping her cheating? If not then I guess she hasn’t lied to you.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Mylehigh said:


> Generalize much?


Its my observations over many decades.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

hinterdir said:


> I see you are pretty focused on claiming it is "empowering" to walk around naked.
> I guess this poster is of the ilk that thinks strippers and prostitutes are some modern examples of some sort of women's empowerment utopia.
> I am not even sure what you are arguing FOR.


I always laugh when I hear women who like to show off their bodies to all and sundry saying that its 'empowering'.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Bob Moss said:


> I understand what you mean, and it is the "normal" thing for the majority out there. But all people are different. Especially when it comes to exotic desires.
> For me the MOST important is that no-one will stick a ** in her as you said. And it is not her desire. Exposing herself is also awkward for me, most of the times (but not at the level of cheating), and that's why we agreed to some limits, when it comes to friends, neighborhood, work environment etc. But if it is an erotic pleasure, I cannot totally block it, because it would explode. It is her desire that strangers see her exposed. It is weird for me , but i can accept it as an erotic desire (within some limits), the fact, as she said, she wants to feel exposed and be seen sexy dressed or uncovered buy other men, she wants to know that as many men as possible have seen her naked, or her naked parts, and she cannot hide anything from them. She has told me in our conversation, that she feels so hot when she sees again guys (friend or stranger, doesn't matter) who have seen her naked parts or fully naked before, knowing that these guys know very well how her p*_, a*_ and b**** look, that she cannot hide anything from them.


You seem to think that if she doesnt do this then something bad will happen, in your words 'it will explode'. She mas made you believe that she must do this, that its part of her., that she cant help it. Its a choice as to how we act and how we dress, and its totally disrespectful to a husband if a wife does this. She can stop whenever she wants so, she chooses not to.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Why don't you help your wife find some modeling opportunities?


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

NextTimeAround said:


> It's kind of like Muslim women who claim that they are happy to cover their heads and sometimes their whole face because they are free underneath the headdress. I guess to be forced to wear headdress is a very empowering circumstance.


Many Muslim women wear fancy clothes and jewelry under those cha'dors.

I suspect the young ones even wear thongs. Whose to know?


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> I always laugh when I hear women who like to show off their bodies to all and sundry saying that its 'empowering'.


To 'some' ladies, displaying their beauty is _irrepressible._
It certainly appears that way, and is equally an innate attribute, rather than one only learned.

IMO.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

RandomDude said:


> She's a clear exhibitionist. There are plenty of outlets for this as exhibitionism is very common. Google it.
> 
> However - your wife is not exposing herself AT a correct venue, a random pub - like really? Take it to a nude beach, naturalist club, swinger club, where it's legal and non provocative. Take nude photography, web cam while hiding your face, much better than exposing to a bunch of horny drunks.
> 
> ...


Hey, I believe everyone here called it. This was the most likely and recognizable reasoning.

If done for her and him, together, it's most likely to stay within boundaries that will be acceptable to them as a couple. 

If she insists on going to bars and clubs alone (or analogous, in these C19 times) things may happen way outside exhibitionism, being greater opportunities and alcohol in the mix.

OP, now setting boundaries is up to you. You have a window to discuss with your W, and the window will close. 

Get it all said now. 

Don't keep bringing it up every few days forever, that will turn her way off, and cause resentments from her.

If you constructively want to join her in this kink, staying active with how she meets her exhibitionist fix, do it. How you go from here will set the tone for a good while.

Food for thought.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Diana7 said:


> As a women myself I usually feel sad when I see a woman who feels the need to dress like that. I wish she felt more secure in herself and liked herself more.


I don't disagree with the concept @Diana7 is putting forth, it can be that way. 

But it certainly is not an absolute, and many women who are secure, confident, and like themselves dress hotly time to time, as desired.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Everyone should watch Yellowstone with Kevin Costner. His character has an adult daughter who is a bit of an exhibitionist. Good series overall.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

SunCMars said:


> To 'some' ladies, displaying their beauty is _irrepressible._
> It certainly appears that way, and is equally an innate attribute, rather than one only learned.
> 
> IMO.


I am not talking about beauty or femininity, that will shine out no matter what is worn. A woman dressing like a prostitute isnt beautiful .


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> I don't disagree with the concept @Diana7 is putting forth, it can be that way.
> 
> But it certainly is not an absolute, and many women who are secure, confident, and like themselves dress hotly time to time, as desired.


Its surely done to get attention. Usually of the wrong sort.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

You guys are all being taken for a ride. This dude has only a fantasy of this being true. All this talking about it is creating his “fantasy reality”. More than likely his wife is a 300lb monster.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Mr.Married said:


> You guys are all being taken for a ride. This dude has only a fantasy of this being true. All this talking about it is creating his “fantasy reality”. More than likely his wife is a 300lb monster.


...... and who spends her time in the basement trolling the internet.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Mr.Married said:


> You guys are all being taken for a ride. This dude has only a fantasy of this being true. All this talking about it is creating his “fantasy reality”. More than likely his wife is a 300lb monster.


Yeah, I had that thought too, and it's 50/50, as the details unfold. 

But I've made my last comment here anyway, unless things run wild either way.

Which brings me to a new idea about a thread though I probably won't start it.

Most likely in the Social or "other" forum;

Using your imagination post or start an admittedly fiction imaginative "problem" one is having, to get anticipated wildly creative problem solving advice from others playing along, just to see what wild and crazy concepts come along as the story develops. 

Rules are:
No holds barred.
All comments are fair and acceptable to make.
No banning from mods.
No moderation from mods as the expectations are it will get where free minds are running amok.
And all remember it's in great fun, peace and good will for all as each "situation" is closed by the one who started each fictional issue.

Last rule; the one who starts the imaginary issues thread or post can "moderate" breaking the glass wall if desired.

Just a concept!! 🙂🙂


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Yeah, I had that thought too, and it's 50/50, as the details unfold.
> 
> But I've made my last comment here anyway, unless things run wild either way.
> 
> ...


trying to start a creative writing class?


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

NextTimeAround said:


> trying to start a creative writing class?


🙂🙂 creativity and what ifs running wild, without risk of hurt feelings, banning, etc.
Amok, amok, amok.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

It would be so much better than a thread started on the sly just to generate conversations.

If that ever happens. To the mods, I'm not saying it ever does, but just to say if it ever happens as at OTHER forums.


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## Jackinthecrack (Aug 13, 2020)

Bob Moss said:


> Hello to everyone.
> 
> Recently, my 30 yo wife (I am 35), started wearing much sexier outfits sometimes when we go out just the two of us or with two particular (male) friends of ours.
> 
> ...


Are you sure she not sleeping with one of your male friends that tagsxalong with you.


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## Deguello (Apr 3, 2015)

Bob Moss said:


> As I said, I am here to take opinions and possible similar experiences in order to come to a conclusion in my mind. Because since there is *no cheating*, it may be a need for her to express her sensuality, her sexiness and i really do not want to be the strict, not understanding husband. Yes, they are gawking at her a lot, and she is like absolutely nothing happens, like some time ago, we were at a full bar, we were at a high bar table and she was sitting on a stool, wearing a really short and tight black dress and very high heels, her legs, all the way up were exposed, and so was her underwear, which was a totally see-through one. I haven't realised this at that moment, because I was sitting on the opposite side of the high table, but the three guys that came and sit to the low table next to us, on chairs, had her legs on the height of their faces, and the tables were really close. I know she has great legs and i did not care that they were gawking. Only before we leave, returning from the toilet, I clearly saw that the whole night, they were not staring just her legs, but everything, since as I said, the underwear was exposed and see-through, and she was not sitting very carefully. And the whole night, that she knew they were staring at her down there, she was talking like nothing happens.


You are her husband put your foot down, If you are not comfortable with the way she presents herself in public,say something. I asked my wife not to wear" Yoga pants" in public because I did not want other men oogling her. You are her husband,not her pimp


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## Bob Moss (Aug 5, 2020)

Excuse me for not responding to you all for a while, I was away on vacation. And a big thank you for your advises, all of you. 
While on vacation, we ended up in this middle solution, and we are both satisfied with it. We agreed that under no circumstances she will expose herself to any friends, people we know or in places that it is possible to run into any of them. Not in neighbourhood, and the wider area of our city. On the other hand, she can enjoy her desire to show herself in places away from home, like this period that we were on vacations. She was exposed to strangers, guys that will never see her again, and do not know her. Tight short, see-through dresses with or without underwear, high heels, at bars with guys staring, tiny thong bikini and topless at the beach, etc. 
She even changed her wet bikini while we were at the parking lot, before we leave the beach. She took off the bikini, next to the car, top and bottom, while she was wearing high platform shoes, and then started looking for her dress in her bag in the trunk. And all this while some guys were watching. She was taking her time, like nothing happens, looking for her dress while totally nude, and even when she found it, she took her time until she wears it, while she was facing towards the guys. But, I was ok with that, since we will never see them again. If they were guys we know, I would feel embarassed.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Bob Moss said:


> Excuse me for not responding to you all for a while, I was away on vacation. And a big thank you for your advises, all of you.
> While on vacation, we ended up in this middle solution, and we are both satisfied with it. We agreed that under no circumstances she will expose herself to any friends, people we know or in places that it is possible to run into any of them. Not in neighbourhood, and the wider area of our city. On the other hand, she can enjoy her desire to show herself in places away from home, like this period that we were on vacations. She was exposed to strangers, guys that will never see her again, and do not know her. Tight short, see-through dresses with or without underwear, high heels, at bars with guys staring, tiny thong bikini and topless at the beach, etc.
> She even changed her wet bikini while we were at the parking lot, before we leave the beach. She took off the bikini, next to the car, top and bottom, while she was wearing high platform shoes, and then started looking for her dress in her bag in the trunk. And all this while some guys were watching. She was taking her time, like nothing happens, looking for her dress while totally nude, and even when she found it, she took her time until she wears it, while she was facing towards the guys. But, I was ok with that, since we will never see them again. If they were guys we know, I would feel embarassed.


So neither of you care anything about other people basically. So very selfish. Its no different doing this in front of people you dont know than it is in front of people you do know. Its still incredibly disrespectful towards others and you. Still you are enabling it so thats your fault. Of course people will stare, and not because they find her attractive or approve of her very low levels of decency, but in the same way they may stare at a car accident, in shock. 
People should be able to walk about in public without having this going on, there are decency laws for this very reason, I hope she gets reported.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Bob Moss said:


> Excuse me for not responding to you all for a while, I was away on vacation. And a big thank you for your advises, all of you.
> While on vacation, we ended up in this middle solution, and we are both satisfied with it. We agreed that under no circumstances she will expose herself to any friends, people we know or in places that it is possible to run into any of them. Not in neighbourhood, and the wider area of our city. On the other hand, she can enjoy her desire to show herself in places away from home, like this period that we were on vacations. She was exposed to strangers, guys that will never see her again, and do not know her. Tight short, see-through dresses with or without underwear, high heels, at bars with guys staring, tiny thong bikini and topless at the beach, etc.
> She even changed her wet bikini while we were at the parking lot, before we leave the beach. She took off the bikini, next to the car, top and bottom, while she was wearing high platform shoes, and then started looking for her dress in her bag in the trunk. And all this while some guys were watching. She was taking her time, like nothing happens, looking for her dress while totally nude, and even when she found it, she took her time until she wears it, while she was facing towards the guys. But, I was ok with that, since we will never see them again. If they were guys we know, I would feel embarassed.


You should feel embarrassed anyway because all of those guys who saw her were thinking you were her pimp. Better come up with a menu and price points.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Liar liar pants on 🔥


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

You should consider a career in writing.

What a cuckold!!! So when does she get to start ducking other guys? You know it is coming your way.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

So, I think that maybe you should consider going to clothing optional resorts instead of doing this in parking lots. You could have been in real trouble if the police came by and saw that.
The problem is with clothing optional, it's really NOT that she wants to be nude outside or doing daily activities. She wants guys drooling over her. 

That is still overall disrespectful to the marriage. It sends a clear message to OTHERS that she is looking or available.


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## hinterdir (Apr 17, 2018)

Whatever floats your boat.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Bob Moss said:


> Excuse me for not responding to you all for a while, I was away on vacation. And a big thank you for your advises, all of you.
> While on vacation, we ended up in this middle solution, and we are both satisfied with it. We agreed that under no circumstances she will expose herself to any friends, people we know or in places that it is possible to run into any of them. Not in neighbourhood, and the wider area of our city. On the other hand, she can enjoy her desire to show herself in places away from home, like this period that we were on vacations. She was exposed to strangers, guys that will never see her again, and do not know her. Tight short, see-through dresses with or without underwear, high heels, at bars with guys staring, tiny thong bikini and topless at the beach, etc.
> She even changed her wet bikini while we were at the parking lot, before we leave the beach. She took off the bikini, next to the car, top and bottom, while she was wearing high platform shoes, and then started looking for her dress in her bag in the trunk. And all this while some guys were watching. She was taking her time, like nothing happens, looking for her dress while totally nude, and even when she found it, she took her time until she wears it, while she was facing towards the guys. But, I was ok with that, since we will never see them again. If they were guys we know, I would feel embarassed.


That's how it all starts. The chances of later you coming back here with a topic of either infidelity, cuckolding, or god only knows what type of other aberrations are greatly enhance. Good luck, you will eventually need it.
from a biological point of view if you were to care to study mating behaviors: enticing, presenting, exhibiting, etc., are normal behaviors that males/females use to attract a an individual of the opposite gender to MATE. In humans, as long as you are doing all of those, subconsciously, you are still searching for a mate (s). think about it. Psychologists (a group of people, normally in need of help themselves), would try to argue with my biological statement, and come with all kind of mumble jumble about needs of expressions, of childhood insecurities, and other baloney. But no, not from what I've learned about mating behaviors. It is from an ever continuous need to search for mates that certain individuals exhibit. if she were to have absolute freedom to do as she wishes, with no condemnations or consequences, you bet that she would be doing much, much, more.


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## Mylehigh (Jul 8, 2019)

Fake news


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Diana7 said:


> So neither of you care anything about other people basically. So very selfish. Its no different doing this in front of people you dont know than it is in front of people you do know. Its still incredibly disrespectful towards others and you. Still you are enabling it so thats your fault. Of course people will stare, and not because they find her attractive or approve of her very low levels of decency, but in the same way they may stare at a car accident, in shock.
> People should be able to walk about in public without having this going on, there are decency laws for this very reason, I hope she gets reported.



Bob don’t be surprised if pictures of your wife end up on the internet.


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