# Husband called me real bad names and I feel very down



## gsm (Jun 27, 2008)

Yesterday we went to my parents to work on something. My dad asked us if we wanted food when he got back he would stop. My husband said no (I knew he was hungry). When my dad left i told him to stop being rude to my dad he was being nice (they get along really well !) In the end my DH admitted he should have said yes, but kept going and going saying he just wasnt in a good mood and compared me to my sister.

(My sister isnt going through the right footsteps and anytime i do something like not seem interested, ignore, etc he always tells me im just like my sister. The day before this I told him if he wanted me to talk to him to stop comparing me to my sister. )

Well he kept going and going and i told him stop comparing me to my sister and he kept going. So I said I cant talk to you after I told you to stop comparing me with my sister and our talk last night. So i walked out. He screamed you f*cken b*tch. I was very hurt by all his actions. 

When my dad came with food, he refused to come out of the room to eat. My sister came also and at night i just got a ride with her. Before i went to the room gave my husband our car keys, he said where was I going, I said home. So i got a ride with my sister. I went home and my parents called me saying my DH was just going to sleep there and be back in the morning to hand me the car so I could go to work (he works across the street). We never have slept away from each other since we have been married. But i was fine with it and didnt call / text my DH and fell asleep then he calls me saying why I just left him there and I told him I was sleeping. A few minutes later he came home and watched tv and ate food he stopped to grab.
Then while I was alseep, he came to bed and cuddled me. ( i didnt notice till i woke up in the morning). 

He always leaves earlier than me in the morning yet when I left he was still in bed. I told him I was leaving so if he was going to go to work to get up because im leaving so cant wake him up again. He said ok. I left and havent talked to him since. I'm still very hurt by what he called me and he hasnt said anything either. I know he is at work because he is logged on but I feel so miserable and depressed from what he called me.


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## SadieBrown (Mar 16, 2011)

So let me get this straight. . . .

He was rude to your father,

He compared you to your sister which he knows you don't like and continued to do so even after you asked him to stop, 

Then he called you a bad name,

Then after you refused to take it anymore and left, he pitched a childish temper tantrum and was going to spend the night at your parents. 

Then when that didn't work he came home and got in bed with you and cuddled like nothing had happened? 

Does that cover everything? Has he done this before? Because I would have a hard time believing that this is an isolated incident that just came out of nowhere. Even if he had a bad day that wouldn't excuse calling you names and his inconsiderate behavior towards you. 

I think you need to google verbal and emotional abuse because your husband sounds like an abuser. And the trying to cuddle like nothing happened instead of actually apologizing is typical emotional abusers behavior.


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## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

That is unacceptable...If he doesn't say anything, you should. I don't think you should let him think he can just brush it under the rug...name calling is just not acceptable at all. I'm sorry, I'd be hurt too.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

Playing devil's advocate here....he said he was in a bad mood and yet you pick that time to keep going with the corrections? Bad timing maybe? 

I'm not advocating the name calling or the rudeness I'm just saying even I've been known to lash out when someone doesn't back off when I've specifically said I'm not in the mood. Lord knows I can bite someone's head off when I have PMS. I warn people around me to tread lightly. KWIM?


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

As someone who has been the object of plenty of name calling, the first thing you need to do is ask him nicely to apologize for what he has done. Apologizing for each incident is best along with admitting what he said and showing contrition. 

Sooner is better with this. Don't evaluate his response for sincerity, only for completeness and no hedging on his part or implying he was justified.

If you can actually get this you are way ahead of the game. If he can't do this for you, write back and we'll take it from there


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

GSM . Although you husband needled you and pushed you to react angrily, it takes men awhile to apologize so you may have to give him time. The cuddle was probably him seeking reassurance that you still loved him even though he acted badly and lost it. From what you said I don't think it is abuse more like starting a fight. He could not direct his anger at your father so you were there so, he directed it at you. Whatever the outcome don't act like a victim - he treats you the way you allow your self to be treated. 

You did the right thing walking away when you gave him fair warning. I would add when he is ready to apologies you are all ears. I would have a talk letting him know what you need him to do so that you will not have to walk away and not talk to him. Name calling is out and sister reference is out. Let him know that he has many faults that you are too kind to bring o his attention but if he wanted you could point his out as well.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SadieBrown (Mar 16, 2011)

magnoliagal said:


> Playing devil's advocate here....he said he was in a bad mood and yet you pick that time to keep going with the corrections? Bad timing maybe?
> 
> I'm not advocating the name calling or the rudeness I'm just saying even I've been known to lash out when someone doesn't back off when I've specifically said I'm not in the mood. Lord knows I can bite someone's head off when I have PMS. I warn people around me to tread lightly. KWIM?



I have PMS as bad as anybody, but I still would be self centered enough to expect people to walk on egg shells because I am in a bad mood. I know the world doesn't revolve around me. 

Maybe he should have just stayed home and stayed in his room if he were in a bad mood and not subject other people to it.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

gsm said:


> Well he kept going and going and i told him stop comparing me to my sister and he kept going. So I said I cant talk to you after I told you to stop comparing me with my sister and our talk last night. So i walked out. He screamed you f*cken b*tch. I was very hurt by all his actions.


Red flag.

My bet isn't this is the first time he's done this. Am I right?


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