# Living in the past



## living in the past (Aug 13, 2010)

He is really mad at me but i just don't care, i am sick of doing things for everyone.

I don't know what to do, i really miss him but he's going far by the day and he just doesn't wanna hear anything... life has changed way much and i guess he's just waiting for me to change too.

He doesn't wanna understand anything and i just don't wanna be closer to him its like i am begging him to love me the way he is used to and he just wanna tell me that he has changed and i have to deal with it.

I wanna go out but i just cant sometimes i think my daughter should not have been there but i love her too much to think that practically and please God never take her away from me.

Only if i didn't know what it was like to be loved, life would have been so simple. 

I wanna kill this thing inside me that just doesn't asking him to love me the way he used to.

I just feel like i had been wanting to marry and having kids with him so madly badly that i didn't see this coming, for everything to get so normal this soon, i just thought life would be how we both dreamed it.

And i feel he is so sick of loving me i just wanna stop asking him for anything, love, time, care everything.

but i love him too much for him not to be there................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... i cant think of living this life without him


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## Janie (Apr 10, 2010)

living in the past said:


> for everything to get so normal this soon, i just thought life would be how we both dreamed it.


Your post is confusing. The problem is that life is too normal?


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## christmaslady (Dec 21, 2009)

OMG: that is funny, because I do not see your post as confusing, in fact that is exactly how I feel. I feel like he is somehow sucking me of everything good inside me because he is not reciprocating like I want him to. Instead he is pulling further away from me and filling the space with other people, places and things. I am sick of sounding like a child just wanting some attention...I love him and I always have...I don't understand why we are where we are right now and I don't understand why he seemingly does not even want to understand my emotional conflict.

I try to block him from my phone but as soon as I hear his ring tone, I still answer...as soon as I want to say something to him to basically beg for attention, I unblock his text messages...I e-mail him, etc. it is just too much. I am too old and too much of a good person to be acting like this. I once knew who I was without him, now I don't know/feel anything without him. I gave myself to him completely and I just wanted to be loved...he said he loved me; why did his actions not show me that?

How do you make it stop...sorry, I don't know, I wish I did...I hope we get some help here soon. If I have an epiphany I will definitely come back and share it with you. Good luck. I still think it is ok to be in love...


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