# Painful Sex?



## MysticTeenager (Aug 13, 2013)

I have been married for just over five months and sex still hurts. We both saved ourselves for marriage, and the more we have sex, the more frustrated I am because it is supposed to get easier and hurt less. I have seen my obgyn and got other opinions and they all said that I am perfectly healthy and I just need to be patient until the pain goes away when the muscles open up. 
We have tried endless positions, lots of lube, and pillows to make this as comfortable as possible for me, but reading stories about women who say that sex doesnt really hurt them at first, I am so fed up and ready to just not have sex! Wondering about your experience losing your virginity and how long did it take to have good, painfree sex?


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## mitchell (May 19, 2014)

How large is your husband? Does it hurt just as he is starting or is it throughout sex? Often with a large penis it can be painful initially until your muscles relax and accommodate his size.

Have you tried sex with you on top? This would allow you to control the angle, depth and force of penetration.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Your first post here was Aug 13 and you refered to you fiancé.

If you have been having sex for 5 months and it remains a painful experience your GYN would not have said everything is normal.

Your story doesn't add up.


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## MysticTeenager (Aug 13, 2013)

Erm, yes? We got married on June 6th 2014. We got engaged in 2012. 

I went to my gyne multiple times in the first few months and she said to be patient until I get used to it. I went back around 10 days ago for an infection and she did an internal exam and said everything was normal. 
It does hurt at first but then the pain sometimes goes and it is just uncomfortable or the pain remains. He is average sized? Not really sure, lol. 
Me on top was a nightmare, tbh. Tried it maybe twice but never again.


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## MysticTeenager (Aug 13, 2013)

badsanta said:


> OK, I know you probably do not want a man's opinion on this, but your experience is almost an exact echo of my first girlfriend. We both lost our virginity together and for the entire year we dated, sex was always very painful for her.
> 
> This was an extraordinary traumatic experience for me and drastically shaped my personality. If your husband is going through similar emotions of what I went through, I can promise you that he shares your pain (emotionally) more so than you.
> 
> ...



I know it isnt very enjoyable for him when I am expressing my pain during intercourse. I try my best to suck it up and hope the pain lessens the more we have sex to make it more enjoyable for him. I do feel his emotional pain after and I can tell he feels sorry for me and maybe even guilty. We do talk about it and we do do things other than the traditional intercouse to keep things intimate as knowing we are going to have full intercourse just doesnt turn me on and I just make an effort for him. I know one of my aunts had painful sex until after her first son was born and I dont want that to be me. 

Thank you so much for your post.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Oh damn, apologies, I didn't notice the YEAR!

Your GYN sucks! Find a new one. When a woman complains that sex is painful the GYN should be asking a lot more question and offering a lot of advice. Your GYN clearly knows next to nothing about the sexual functioning of lady parts!

Google vaginismus. I'd post a link put I'm on IPad/safari with iOS 8.1 which absolutely BLOWS!

You and hubby need to do a lot more work in order to get your muscles relaxed. The vagina is a muscle group. It can spasm, which can be good (orgasm) or bad (vaginismus) this is kind of a self perpetuating problem.

A good GYN a would prescribe a set of graduatingly larger vaginal dilators that you would insert and squeeze/release. Once you can do a set of 20 squeeze release with one size, you move up to the next size and so on. This is why your GYN a sucks!

Can you tolerate a finger? Can you tolerate a tampon? Can you tolerate a pelvic exam? If you can tolerate all these things with no trouble, then it is the combination of sexual arousal and penetration that triggers your vagina to painfully spasm. Therefore you would use the dilators with your husband present. During this time, sexual intercourse is off the table because it will likely interfere with you learning to relax your vagina.

So find a new GYN who has better training in the sexual functioning of a woman's sexual organs and is not just looking for cervical cancer, yeast infections and pregnancy.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I have heard of painful sex before but it isn't something I've experienced.


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## MysticTeenager (Aug 13, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> Oh damn, apologies, I didn't notice the YEAR!
> 
> Your GYN sucks! Find a new one. When a woman complains that sex is painful the GYN should be asking a lot more question and offering a lot of advice. Your GYN clearly knows next to nothing about the sexual functioning of lady parts!
> 
> ...


Wow, thank you. I dont use tampons, but I can tolerate a pelvic exam and sometimes it feels like she has her whole hand up there, it doesnt hurt. She told me it was a tough muscle that takes a while to open up, and even touched it and it did hurt the same way it usually does during sex so I thought that was it. That was a few months ago, tho. A finger is slightly painful but nothing I cant tolerate or ignore. My doctor said that I was a bit of a wimp. Two doctors prescribing numbing cream and told me to be patient. The numbing cream does nothing and honestly I dont want to numb myself to be able to have sex.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

What!!! Numbing cream!!!! Oh Hell NO!

Google "GYN and sexual problems" with your city/town. Find a new doc!


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## MysticTeenager (Aug 13, 2013)

Ive booked an aptmnt with another supposedly brilliant gyne for the end of the month and see.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Just thought I'd add to the don't use numbing cream rhetoric. As to all else Anon Pink and badsanta have got you well covered. So all the best and congrats on your wedding.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
I completely agree with what everyone is posting - find a new OBY/GYN. Now. 

Sex is sometimes uncomfortable the first few times, but it usually gets better quickly. 

Next - tell your husband it is painful. Find other things you can do for each other (oral etc), until you get this fixed - I'm sure he doesn't want to hurt you and he deserves to know that is what is going on.

It may not be anything physical, but that anxiety about the pain keeps you from relaxing and makes it more painful. 

Does you husband know how to get you to orgasm? I'd suggest finding things to do that you enjoy that do not involved penetration. Then see if you can enjoy just a finger or small toy. Then try working your way up, but never doing anything uncomfortable.


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

Are you fully aroused before beginning intercourse? If you're not and tense to boot while lube may allow him to get it in you're still stretching muscles that are tense and not warmed up. Do that with any part of your body and it's going to hurt.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

MaritimeGuy said:


> Are you fully aroused before beginning intercourse? If you're not and tense to boot while lube may allow him to get it in you're still stretching muscles that are tense and not warmed up. Do that with any part of your body and it's going to hurt.


:iagree:

Have you tried waiting to attempt intercourse until after you've already had an orgasm? That may help the vaginal walls to be more relaxed.


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## MysticTeenager (Aug 13, 2013)

Rowan said:


> :iagree:
> 
> Have you tried waiting to attempt intercourse until after you've already had an orgasm? That may help the vaginal walls to be more relaxed.


We have tried penetration after I have an orgasm and just before I reach an orgasm. Doesnt really make a difference, unfortunately.

Thank you, everyone for your kind words and suggestions. I will try keegel excercises and hope this next obgyn is much better.


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## Melvynman (Mar 19, 2014)

Your body it talking to you! Pay attention to it. Get blood test to make sure if you decide to have kids your not going to have problems. Sounds to me that your body is rejecting his because your not a compatible DNA match. You might try birth control pills to change your hormones.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

I give you pat on the back for being patient and trying to work through it.


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## MysticTeenager (Aug 13, 2013)

Melvynman, really? Is that even a real possible thing? It sounds slightly far fetched to me. I dont mean to be rude, I appreciate your input, but it is kinda weird. 

Treyvlon, thank you. It is either avoiding it and stop having sex or dealing with it.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

MysticTeenager said:


> Melvynman, really? Is that even a real possible thing? It sounds slightly far fetched to me. I dont mean to be rude, I appreciate your input, but it is kinda weird.
> 
> .


No, it's not.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

To get a man to see how painful sex might be for a female if you are touching bits that are sensitive or hitting them too hard...

Imagine if you had a 1/4" tear of skin on the shaft of your penis, it "probably" would not open under the act of sexual intercourse, but the edges of it would be stressed and cause pain.

Would you want to be inside your wife poinding her like crazy perhaps about to tear a 1" gash on your shaft?

Or what about if she had a sharp spike inside of her around 6.5" deep and you had an 8" penis. What if she told you that medium penetration is OK, but deep penetration kills her desire for sex almost instantly. Because it is a blunt stabbing pain that is so bad it's the only thing she can focus on. Would you keep trying to poke 8" deep in her, when your going to take razor blade cuts on your glans?

Painful sex for a woman really hurts. When they say it hurts it probably does, and if it hurts, it probably hurts really bad because the body does a lot of pain masking during the sex acts.

Womens vaginas aren't infinate bottomless pits, they have all types of configurations, alignments and performance characteristics.

On the flip side, women who have vaginimus or mental hangups which cause tension and a lack of ability to lubricate and relax. There are a bunch of therepy and things that can be done that will restore your rightful access to sex that feels really good. Some of it takes time, for most anamolies there are solutions.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

badsanta said:


> OMG, I always wondered why my wife gets all wobbly when things speed up. I've got to get her alignment checked out ASAP. How come no one ever told me about this stuff? :rofl:
> 
> I'm really sorry, I could not stop myself. On a serious note, I had a friend that worked as a bellman at a hotel at which a major airline had an agreement for all the stewardesses to stay overnight. Word got out that he could help upgrade their rooms for free, and these women were very thankful about it. He told me that he experienced so many different women that he did :lol:make this discovery. According to him, YES every woman is "different" down there once inside.
> 
> Sorry to the OP for my head being in the gutter!


There are several dozen exterior labia configurations.

On the inside there are different textures.

There are different lube qualities and some is clear and others are visible.

There are different shapes on the inside.

Cervix is at different heights and angles internally.

Some after the entrance have an open space and others have a long narrow tube.

Some have a narrow tube for several inches and it balloons out after this to a large open region.

Some like cervix contact, most hate it.

Also vaginal response ( not just tightness ) can be retrained.

There are women who can deficate your c0ck out of their vagina. Even at rock hard, they have that much strength and control.

Others have response and reflexes to your touch, pressure and movement that is automatic.

In women with a lot of control their are rings at different distances like spincter valves, and women with a lot of control can alternate these like playing a trumpet.

I'd say there are hundreds of vaginal configurations, and even within a configuration the response, tightness and control can be trained to hop it up a bit!


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## MysticTeenager (Aug 13, 2013)

It is quite interesting to read your posts, trevylon, lol. 

I do have a long history of sexual abuse and was terrified of sex and couldnt even think of it until I fell in love with him. Even after that, making out was too much for me. It took a lot of time and thankfully by the time the wedding came, I felt ready and wasnt nervous at all. Now, I dread it and feel quite anxious knowing the awful pain I would go thru and hope that this time it would start getting better. So, maybe I do have vaginismus. I have started some excercises at home, and will see a different doctor. 

However, sex last night wasnt painful. Only painful when he first, slowly entered. I was incredibly turned on and kept trying to stop myself from being afraid and relaxing myself to the max. I also dont get too wet, not quite sure why. Even when I have an orgasm. So it might be just not too severe vaginismus.... Or it is all in my head.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

MysticTeenager said:


> It is quite interesting to read your posts, trevylon, lol.
> 
> I do have a long history of sexual abuse and was terrified of sex and couldnt even think of it until I fell in love with him. Even after that, making out was too much for me. It took a lot of time and thankfully by the time the wedding came, I felt ready and wasnt nervous at all. Now, I dread it and feel quite anxious knowing the awful pain I would go thru and hope that this time it would start getting better. So, maybe I do have vaginismus. I have started some excercises at home, and will see a different doctor.
> 
> However, sex last night wasnt painful. Only painful when he first, slowly entered. I was incredibly turned on and kept trying to stop myself from being afraid and relaxing myself to the max. I also dont get too wet, not quite sure why. Even when I have an orgasm. So it might be just not too severe vaginismus.... Or it is all in my head.


Oh sweetheart, you've got a lot going on. Make sure to tell your new GYN about the CSA. It might also be good to ask about a sex therapist, someone who can work with you, in a very safe environment that isn't threatening at all, to help you learn to stay in the moment and relearn your body's responses as something good and not something bad. 

The first order of business is to teach you relaxation techniques and have your practicing them daily. Second would be to teach you to grow comfortable with arousal. CSA causes women to also grow more alert as the become aroused. Alertness being the learned response to dangerous situations. Once you learn to relax and have learned to grow comfortable with arousal, you put the two together and arousal and relaxing into the moment go hand in hand. Sounds like you're doing great on your own but I still recommend therapy.

Regarding vaginal lubrication. Every woman is different and we go through periods of time where we might have a lot or a little and it's all normal. General hydration is also a factor, though a small one. Hormones are a factor. Some people sweat a lot and others don't. In that light, it's best to always use some coconut oil during for-play because this will ensure there is plenty of lubrication.


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## AlphaProvider (Jul 8, 2013)

MysticTeenager said:


> It is quite interesting to read your posts, trevylon, lol.
> 
> I do have a long history of sexual abuse and was terrified of sex and couldnt even think of it until I fell in love with him. Even after that, making out was too much for me. It took a lot of time and thankfully by the time the wedding came, I felt ready and wasnt nervous at all. Now, I dread it and feel quite anxious knowing the awful pain I would go thru and hope that this time it would start getting better. So, maybe I do have vaginismus. I have started some excercises at home, and will see a different doctor.
> 
> However, sex last night wasnt painful. Only painful when he first, slowly entered. I was incredibly turned on and kept trying to stop myself from being afraid and relaxing myself to the max. I also dont get too wet, not quite sure why. Even when I have an orgasm. So it might be just not too severe vaginismus.... Or it is all in my head.


You where incredibly turned on before the act? Or as he was starting to start the sex it turned you on to know he had penetrated you?

Just trying to get a feel for your condition and where and when someone in your shoes feels turned on or off.


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## AlphaProvider (Jul 8, 2013)

treyvion said:


> There are several dozen exterior labia configurations.
> 
> On the inside there are different textures.
> 
> ...


Treyvion. Good man. It sounds like you pay attention to all the details of the female anatomy. Many of us aren't that detailed or specific, so I don't know if it's a good or bad thing.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

MysticTeenager said:


> Wow, thank you. I dont use tampons, but I can tolerate a pelvic exam and sometimes it feels like she has her whole hand up there, it doesnt hurt. She told me it was a tough muscle that takes a while to open up, and even touched it and it did hurt the same way it usually does during sex so I thought that was it. That was a few months ago, tho. A finger is slightly painful but nothing I cant tolerate or ignore. My doctor said that I was a bit of a wimp. Two doctors prescribing numbing cream and told me to be patient. The numbing cream does nothing and honestly I dont want to numb myself to be able to have sex.


Do you live in the USA? Its hard to believe that an OB-GYN in the USA would tell a woman that it takes time for a muscle in the vagina to open up. That's nonsense. The vaginal and it's muscles do not get loose the more sex you have. Does your mouth get lose and bigger the more food you eat??? I don't think so.

I can think of two things.

One if that you are tensing your muscles down there so it hurts.

Or you are so dry that it hurts.. .that means that you are most likely not turned on. At your age you should not need lubs to just have sex.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

MysticTeenager said:


> It is quite interesting to read your posts, trevylon, lol.
> 
> I do have a long history of sexual abuse and was terrified of sex and couldnt even think of it until I fell in love with him. Even after that, making out was too much for me. It took a lot of time and thankfully by the time the wedding came, I felt ready and wasnt nervous at all. Now, I dread it and feel quite anxious knowing the awful pain I would go thru and hope that this time it would start getting better. So, maybe I do have vaginismus. I have started some excercises at home, and will see a different doctor.
> 
> However, sex last night wasnt painful. Only painful when he first, slowly entered. I was incredibly turned on and kept trying to stop myself from being afraid and relaxing myself to the max. I also dont get too wet, not quite sure why. Even when I have an orgasm. So it might be just not too severe vaginismus.... Or it is all in my head.


This explains a lot. Does your OB-GYN know about your CSA?

It sounds like you and your husband would benefit from seeing a sex therapist. And you probably should be seeing a therapist on your own.


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## MysticTeenager (Aug 13, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> Oh sweetheart, you've got a lot going on. Make sure to tell your new GYN about the CSA. It might also be good to ask about a sex therapist, someone who can work with you, in a very safe environment that isn't threatening at all, to help you learn to stay in the moment and relearn your body's responses as something good and not something bad.
> 
> The first order of business is to teach you relaxation techniques and have your practicing them daily. Second would be to teach you to grow comfortable with arousal. CSA causes women to also grow more alert as the become aroused. Alertness being the learned response to dangerous situations. Once you learn to relax and have learned to grow comfortable with arousal, you put the two together and arousal and relaxing into the moment go hand in hand. Sounds like you're doing great on your own but I still recommend therapy.
> 
> Regarding vaginal lubrication. Every woman is different and we go through periods of time where we might have a lot or a little and it's all normal. General hydration is also a factor, though a small one. Hormones are a factor. Some people sweat a lot and others don't. In that light, it's best to always use some coconut oil during for-play because this will ensure there is plenty of lubrication.


Thank you so much. You seem so sweet. 

I will speak to my doctor about all of what I mentioned and asks she refers us to a sex therapist. I live in Algeria where these things arent really talked about, but I am sure sex therapists exist here. If not, I will go back home to the uk and get some help there. 

We use lots of lube almost everytime. I noticed that the pill reduces lubrication. I am now off the pill and I do lubricate better but not enough for easy penetration.


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## MysticTeenager (Aug 13, 2013)

AlphaProvider said:


> You where incredibly turned on before the act? Or as he was starting to start the sex it turned you on to know he had penetrated you?
> 
> Just trying to get a feel for your condition and where and when someone in your shoes feels turned on or off.


Before the penetration. Sorry if this too tmi but he went down on me and fingered me for quite a while, longer than usual. And it was make up sex so that made it better, lol.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

MysticTeenager said:


> Thank you so much. You seem so sweet.
> 
> I will speak to my doctor about all of what I mentioned and asks she refers us to a sex therapist. I live in Algeria where these things arent really talked about, but I am sure sex therapists exist here. If not, I will go back home to the uk and get some help there.
> 
> We use lots of lube almost everytime. I noticed that the pill reduces lubrication. I am now off the pill and I do lubricate better but not enough for easy penetration.



Algeria! OMG no wonder! They still do child brides there! Get the hell out of that country for medical care!


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## MysticTeenager (Aug 13, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> Do you live in the USA? Its hard to believe that an OB-GYN in the USA would tell a woman that it takes time for a muscle in the vagina to open up. That's nonsense. The vaginal and it's muscles do not get loose the more sex you have. Does your mouth get lose and bigger the more food you eat??? I don't think so.
> 
> I can think of two things.
> 
> ...


I read that what she said was nonesense too, but I wanted to believe her because she knew exactly how it hurt and where it hurt and made me hurt during the internal exam. 

I am quite dry, but not completely dry. We do use lots of lube. I think I am tensing my muscles and not relaxing myself properly.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

MysticTeenager said:


> I read that what she said was nonesense too, but I wanted to believe her because she knew exactly how it hurt and where it hurt and made me hurt during the internal exam.
> 
> I am quite dry, but not completely dry. We do use lots of lube. I think I am tensing my muscles and not relaxing myself properly.


That's what I think you are doing as well. That's why the doctor knew where it hurt. She knows which muscles a woman tightens up (clinches) when they are nervous about having sex.


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## MysticTeenager (Aug 13, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> Algeria! OMG no wonder! They still do child brides there! Get the hell out of that country for medical care!


No, they dont. They might in those tiny villages up in the mountains far away from cities, but it doesnt really happen. It is illegal. It is actually harder to get married underage in Algeria than it is in the UK. Its medical care does have its flaws, though. And I will see some doctors in the uk when I go.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Really? My daughter had a friend in kindergarten who's mother was 22 and father was....70! I had met him many times and assumed him to be the grandfather but when he introduced me to his wife, he clearly saw my eyebrows disappear! He explained his first wife died and he hadn't had any sons so he went to his home country Algeria to find a new bride "because in my country having a son is very important."

Well, at least he hadn't ditched his wife to find a woman to bear his sons... I guess. 

Ew!


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> Really? My daughter had a friend in kindergarten who's mother was 22 and father was....70! I had met him many times and assumed him to be the grandfather but when he introduced me to his wife, he clearly saw my eyebrows disappear! He explained his first wife died and he hadn't had any sons so he went to his home country Algeria to find a new bride "because in my country having a son is very important."
> 
> Well, at least he hadn't ditched his wife to find a woman to bear his sons... I guess.
> 
> Ew!


My stomach feels bad now......


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## AlphaProvider (Jul 8, 2013)

MysticTeenager said:


> Before the penetration. Sorry if this too tmi but he went down on me and fingered me for quite a while, longer than usual. And it was make up sex so that made it better, lol.


This is beauty...


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## Adeline (Jan 24, 2014)

How frequently are you two having sex? I don't know, maybe I'm not the norm, but if we haven't had sex in a while the sex is a bit painful the first time after that long break. And then the time after that is no longer painful. So, the more often we have sex, the more comfortable it is. I know someone mentioned earlier that this was nonsense, but it really does seem that things tighten up if they haven't been "used" in a while, and then the muscles loosen up with frequency of sex. There are some positions I just cannot do if it had been a while since having sex. But then I know that I can the next time! The position of the legs seems to affect things as well... if you are on bottom on your back, putting your legs up in the air actually makes things tighter, at least for me. Lowering my legs helps for him to enter easier/less painful if it has been a while.


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## MysticTeenager (Aug 13, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> Really? My daughter had a friend in kindergarten who's mother was 22 and father was....70! I had met him many times and assumed him to be the grandfather but when he introduced me to his wife, he clearly saw my eyebrows disappear! He explained his first wife died and he hadn't had any sons so he went to his home country Algeria to find a new bride "because in my country having a son is very important."
> 
> Well, at least he hadn't ditched his wife to find a woman to bear his sons... I guess.
> 
> Ew!


OMG, EW!!! Trust me, Algerians would have had the same reaction. My friend who is french married a guy like twenty years older and all my algerian friends think that that is soooo weird. 
Maybe some families are like that, like really old fashioned. But it doesnt really happen. I married at 17 in Algeria and the whole court process was endless interviews, making sure this is what I wanted and I had to provide doctor certificates saying my body wasnt a nine year olds... etc. Whereas in the uk, all I had to do was get my parents to sign a piece of paper that they approved of my marriage.

I dont mind age gaps in a relationship but 22 and 70 is super weird and gross.


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## MysticTeenager (Aug 13, 2013)

Adeline said:


> How frequently are you two having sex? I don't know, maybe I'm not the norm, but if we haven't had sex in a while the sex is a bit painful the first time after that long break. And then the time after that is no longer painful. So, the more often we have sex, the more comfortable it is. I know someone mentioned earlier that this was nonsense, but it really does seem that things tighten up if they haven't been "used" in a while, and then the muscles loosen up with frequency of sex. There are some positions I just cannot do if it had been a while since having sex. But then I know that I can the next time! The position of the legs seems to affect things as well... if you are on bottom on your back, putting your legs up in the air actually makes things tighter, at least for me. Lowering my legs helps for him to enter easier/less painful if it has been a while.


We usually have sex every couple of days. Sometimes everyday. When we first married it was a few times a day.

I definately agree with you. A couple of weeks ago, I was ill, and we had no sex for like ten days. When we did, it was way more painful than usual and a complete nightmare. Same thing after my period which usually lasts 7 days.

Thanks for the leg tip, will try that x


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## AlphaProvider (Jul 8, 2013)

MysticTeenager said:


> We usually have sex every couple of days. Sometimes everyday. When we first married it was a few times a day.
> 
> I definately agree with you. A couple of weeks ago, I was ill, and we had no sex for like ten days. When we did, it was way more painful than usual and a complete nightmare. Same thing after my period which usually lasts 7 days.
> 
> Thanks for the leg tip, will try that x


Part of the first week after the period on many women it won't lube as much for some reason. 2nd and 3rd weeks after period are sweet spot, they tend to want it more then.


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## MysticTeenager (Aug 13, 2013)

independentgirl said:


> I think it is normal to have painful sex especially when you are a virgin. So don't worried about it OP, you will get used to it over time.
> My obgyn told me that since it was my first time; and I always wear pads (No tampons) so it naturally would be more painful for me during sex.
> My health checkup was fine.
> 
> ...


Are you sure you are relaxed when he penetrates you? Or do you anticipate the pain and tense up without realising?
That was what I was doing. Since my last post, we have had sex maybe four times and all have been painless, slightly uncomfortable, and also feels good. I also never used tampons. But I dont hink a vagina "stretches" because of tampons. A lot of women give birth and remain tight, some women even say their husbands said they feel tighter after childbirth.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

independentgirl said:


> I think it is normal to have painful sex especially when you are a virgin. So don't worried about it OP, you will get used to it over time.


Once a woman has had intercourse, she is no longer a virgin. So this idea that sex is painful because she's a virgin counts for only one time. That's it.



independentgirl said:


> My obgyn told me that since it was my first time; and I always wear pads (No tampons) so it naturally would be more painful for me during sex.
> 
> My health checkup was fine.
> 
> ...


There should be no pain with intercourse. 

The only time I've had pain is when the guy is trusting too hard and too deep. 

If you are having pain and you have no medical issues, either he's being to rough or you are too tense.


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## MysticTeenager (Aug 13, 2013)

badsanta said:


> The ghost of my younger self finally just got his wings and can be in peace as opposed to following me around and haunting me that your husband was going to go through what I went through when I was much younger.
> 
> Thanks for the good news!


Aww, that is the sweetest thing! Thank YOU. 

My husband is definitely relieved and keeps asking me; "are you sure it wasnt painful?" and if I do start to tense up, he reminds me that we can have painless sex and it didnt hurt last time, it shouldnt hurt this time. We are definitely gettig there! :smthumbup:


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