# my wife stop kissin and huggin me anymore



## 7roninz (Feb 2, 2012)

im married with a wife of more than 10 years now and slowly the fire between us had faded but we still respect each other , help each other and most important of all we don't have that insomnia night when trust is concern. i can sleep so well and so does she but we slept like pig till morning , wake up and left for work without saying Bye Bye , small kiss etc... 

our talks are now more serious now unlike the time we met where we jokes and all the sense of humour. the change is obvious when reality struck like job, financial, both side of parents etc... u c marriage is more than just married couple dream of. things may still look normal in other eye but there's a broken porcelain that can't fix back over the years of built up.

anyone of you think this is normal for 40 something couples married for more than 10 years now?


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## sirdano (Dec 30, 2011)

If anything I would recommend a book for you and your wife

Amazon.com: I choose us: a Christian perspective on building love connection in your marriage by breaking harmful cycles (9789810855970): John Philip Louis, Karen McDonald Louis, Sher Lee Wee: Books


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## Dr. Rockstar (Mar 23, 2011)

It sounds like all you need is a little bump in the romance department. Do something spontaneous for her. It can be small, like surprising her with flowers (although since Valentine's Day is coming up, this kind of thing may be expected). Go on a romantic weekend (romantic = anyplace that has cable TV and good mattresses).

Since it IS close to Valentine's Day, however, you should be able to find TONS of books at your local bookstore for romantic ideas, as well as "love coupons" for backrubs and sexual favors.

I think if you just commit yourself to focusing on improving your marriage, you'll be fine.


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

From my personal experience and POV it is a red flag. When you said 40's, that is the age where 2/3rds of divorces are filed by women. 

I noticed my wife was disengaged from our relationship about a year ago. She was 46, several months later I heard she wanted to divorce. I thought it was a bump in the road, but it was much more.

Once they detach it could likely be over. I would advise MC stat.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

7roninz said:


> anyone of you think this is normal for 40 something couples married for more than 10 years now?


Mid Life Crisis....time to re-ignite the Passion. You need some inspiration, but it still takes 2. 

I think this is a great book: 

http://www.amazon.com/Kosher-Adulte...=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1328289358&sr=1-1


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

No it's not the norm for everyone.

Have you had the BIG talk... the one where you ask her if she loves you and want to save/improve your hurting marriage.

Untill you know this you can't really move on...

One of the biggest redflags i saw in your post is that you said in the mornings you get up and go to work with out saying "bye"... that made my jaw drop a bit. Even roommates would be polite and say goodmorning or bye. Do you have children that you are both role modeling this to? 

This is not a healthy way to live!

Maybe start small... really small. Be the bigger person.
Say "goodmorning" and "bye and have a nice day".

It won't hurt...I promise.


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## lola_b (Aug 28, 2009)

I'm not in my 40's and my marriage only lasted a few months due to his cheating ways but my parents have been married almost 35 years and are in their 50's...so I'll use them as an example.

Everyday when my dad comes home from work, my mom greats him at the door and welcomes him home with a hug and kiss. She's up every morning with him to have coffee and kiss him goodbye. Of course there are times when it doesn't happen, but for the most part, that's their daily routine. They seem to have gotten even closer after my brother and I moved out.

I suggest doing the 5 Love Languages (Google it) and share the results with each other, maybe your wife is feeling like she's missing something? 

I wish you luck!


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## Emly (Feb 22, 2012)

sirdano said:


> If anything I would recommend a book for you and your wife
> 
> Amazon.com: I choose us: a Christian perspective on building love connection in your marriage by breaking harmful cycles (9789810855970): John Philip Louis, Karen McDonald Louis, Sher Lee Wee: Books


This is such a nice book.I will also recommend it to you.Read it!
I hope it will work!
Ask your wife that there should be at least a little part of Romance in the life specially hugs and kisses.


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## Jeff74 (Feb 11, 2012)

I've never seen a study done regarding this question so I have no idea whether it is "normal" or not. Maybe 50% of couples are like you and your wife or maybe only 20%? Who knows...

I think if it's bothering or upsetting you then you should try to change things and if it's not bothering you then just live life as you are doing!

What it comes down to is this...what's normal for one couple may not be normal for another couple so you have to decide what makes you happy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tiredwife&sahm (Jan 4, 2012)

It could be normal. At least in my marriage it is. In the very beginning of my husband and I relationship we kissed. Couple of months after that nada. That was 5 years ago. We have not kissed or held hands since then. We display no affection in public barely in private. His kind of affection is me clipping his toenails,lol. Sex is weird, kissing is weird. I was sooo not like that before we got together, sigh.


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## Trying2figureitout (Feb 3, 2011)

Same here... unfortunately I think its normal.

It sucks. No amount of talking does anything. Pretty much I put up with it and hope one day it'll change. I just control what i can control and not worry about the rest.

Its up to my wife if she ever wants better.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

It isn't normal and it is fixable. You need a combination of skill, commitment AND the willingness to rock the boat.
If you don't have that last bit the rest doesn't matter.


TE=Trying2figureitout;605404]Same here... unfortunately I think its normal.

It sucks. No amount of talking does anything. Pretty much I put up with it and hope one day it'll change. I just control what i can control and not worry about the rest.

Its up to my wife if she ever wants better.[/QUOTE]
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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