# Introverts vs Extroverts who's more likely to cheat



## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

Last night after a brief discussion on a thread I came across an article which discuss how introverts are more likely to cheat on their partners than extroverts the studies indicates that introverts are more susceptible to the advances of the third party due in part because of the rarity of such advances essentially saying that because they don't get hit on that much there more likely to jump on it the first chance to get.


As an fairly introverted person I have to admit I find these research findings a little bit dubious is this study reviewing truly introverted people or passive aggressive conflict avoiders which are two distinctively different things a PA/CA are more likely to seek out third party advances simply because they don't want to deal with any problems in their relationship and justify there actions with passive aggressive reasoning whereas introverts tend to be extremely more analytical in their reasoning.


So my question for everyone here is this do you believe introverts are more likely to cheat than extroverts or is it more of a passive aggressive conflict avoidance personality type that is more likely to cheat your opinion please


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

My wayward was an introvert.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

No! While I personally believe that introverts and extroverts are both highly likely to cheat, they each do it for far ranging differences in their rationale to suit themselves!


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## lovesmanis (Oct 9, 2014)

Meh. 

I would think it would be extroverts. They require more external stimulation, therefore when things go south in their relationships, they would be more likely to look outside the relationship for that stimulation.

Introverts are happy in their solitude, so I would think that they are less likely to stray because they are content with the peace and shy away from the drama that is associated with "cheating".


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

FYI, my rich skanky XW is a serious extrovert, while my first cheating XW is a serious introvert! Being one or the other certainly didn't forestall any infidelity on either of their parts!

They both were on the lookout for some "strange!"


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

lovesmanis said:


> Meh.
> 
> I would think it would be extroverts. They require more external stimulation, therefore when things go south in their relationships, they would be more likely to look outside the relationship for that stimulation.
> 
> Introverts are happy in their solitude, so I would think that they are less likely to stray because they are content with the peace and shy away from the drama that is associated with "cheating".




:iagree: 


That's exactly the same way I see I don't need outside stimulation or validation I only need it from the ones who opinions matter the most to me


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

xakulax said:


> :iagree:
> 
> 
> That's exactly the same way I see I don't need outside stimulation or validation I only need it from the ones who opinions matter the most to me


Yes, but what happens when someone that you never valued before now becomes important to you and someone you value. They start showing you "extra" attentions and the attraction develops. Would you not seek out their validations possibly in ways you never thought of before (i.e. physical or emotional ways) and before you know it be in an extramarital affair?? I can see it happening quite easy this way.

I agree that I think both are equally as suspect and the only differentiating factor would be the morals and character of the person, not they social interaction characteristics.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

It's more likely that extroverts seek it out and introverts say yes.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

A great theory there, michzz!


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## BradWesley (May 24, 2013)

Infidelity is an equal opportunity destroyer of relationships.


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

Squeakr said:


> Yes, but what happens when someone that you never valued before now becomes important to you and someone you value. They start showing you "extra" attentions and the attraction develops. Would you not seek out their validations possibly in ways you never thought of before (i.e. physical or emotional ways) and before you know it be in an extramarital affair?? I can see it happening quite easy this way.
> 
> I agree that I think both are equally as suspect and the only differentiating factor would be the morals and character of the person, not they social interaction characteristics.





To be honest with you I would be suspicious quite frankly I'm not above self-evaluating my feelings and finding out why I have them and discussing it with my partner to resolve the issue like I said before I'm a extremely analytical person which is a common trait for most introverts I think what it really boils down to is (again I'm only speaking from my personal point of view) how truly the individual person is committed to that relationship if there not fully committed then any attention special or otherwise will be enough to stray.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

xakulax said:


> To be honest with you I would be suspicious quite frankly I'm not above self-evaluating my feelings and finding out why I have them and discussing it with my partner to resolve the issue like I said before I'm a extremely analytical person which is a common trait for most introverts I think what it really boils down to is (again I'm only speaking from my personal point of view) *how truly the individual person is committed to that relationship if there not fully committed then any attention special or otherwise will be enough to stray*.


As much as I agree, the bolded part is the hinging factor. When only one of the partners is truly connected, after a while the relationship loses its luster when the other partner is so disconnected and that is when it happens that the committed person strays and starts to accept the attentions of others (whether knowingly seeking it or inadvertantly going too far). At least I can see this happening easily.


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## Rugs (Apr 12, 2013)

In my opinion, it's a cowardice type of who avoids conflict or confrontation. 

The above could apply to both. 

I am an extreme introvert and never cheated on anyone. 

I've seen it as mostly an avoidance issue and that it why there are so many rug-sweeps too.


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## Rugs (Apr 12, 2013)

One more thing:

Most people are attracted to mysterious, fun, spontaneous people. If you are a "regular" person, you are sometimes overlooked and considered boring. The fun and mysterious people take risks but sometimes those risks include infidelity.

I sewed my oats in my youth and was ready to settle down. 
I am a firm believer if you don't sew your oats and have some crazy times as a youngster, you are more apt to want to years down the road in a marriage.

Just my two cents.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

I think introverts are more vulnerable. Ugly duckings turned swan are high risk as well. Of course there are some cheaters of every flavor.


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## ellaenchanted (Sep 7, 2014)

I'm an introvert and I'm definitely not vulnerable generally. 
I just like being alone and I enjoy my own company. 
I don't care about people's opinions and I'm perfectly fine without having many friends. 
I think it's the complete opposite, not because I'm an introvert but I find the louder people need validation from people (ofcourse not all). 
Ofcourse both would cheat and the cheaters all cheat for all kinds of reasons but I don't think it's got much to do with personally.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

ellaenchanted said:


> I'm an introvert and I'm definitely not vulnerable generally.
> I just like being alone and I enjoy my own company.
> I don't care about people's opinions and I'm perfectly fine without having many friends.
> I think it's the complete opposite, not because I'm an introvert but I find the louder people need validation from people (ofcourse not all).
> Ofcourse both would cheat and the cheaters all cheat for all kinds of reasons but I don't think it's got much to do with personally.


I don't want to indict a specific personality type as being good or bad. You're correct that some people are extravert because they need attention so they are vulnerable. I think I'm right too that some introverts don't handle predator attention because they don't get it as often as introverts. So we can agree to disagree on the 50/50 mark as to which is more frequently vulnerable.


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## dkphap13 (Oct 21, 2014)

xakulax said:


> Last night after a brief discussion on a thread I came across an article which discuss how introverts are more likely to cheat on their partners than extroverts the studies indicates that introverts are more susceptible to the advances of the third party due in part because of the rarity of such advances essentially saying that because they don't get hit on that much there more likely to jump on it the first chance to get.
> 
> 
> As an fairly introverted person I have to admit I find these research findings a little bit dubious is this study reviewing truly introverted people or passive aggressive conflict avoiders which are two distinctively different things a PA/CA are more likely to seek out third party advances simply because they don't want to deal with any problems in their relationship and justify there actions with passive aggressive reasoning whereas introverts tend to be extremely more analytical in their reasoning.
> ...


These studies are dum and a wast of time. Any one can cheat and that's all there is to it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

I don't think one type has the inbred weakness to cheat or not more than the other.

It's like saying brunette women and blonde men are more likely to run a stop sign.

Just a false premise that needs to recognized as such.


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## Eleftherios (Aug 15, 2013)

My WW is an introvert I'm an extrovert.
She cheated I didn't.
In my opinion an introvert is more likely because of the attention they receive. 
An example is they feel like the ugly duckling and the fox comes and feeds on this plying there charm. 
The extrovert seeks the charm and feeds off of it. After getting it they are usually satisfied 

Just my two cents


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## ellaenchanted (Sep 7, 2014)

I think there is a difference between someone that is an introvert and someone that feels like the ugly duckling. 
Some people come across as an introvert but really they're the kind of people that want the attention that an extrovert gets but can't get it. 

Introverts don't want or need attention. 

For an example, if I go to a Xmas party with lots of people I do socialise because I feel like it's my duty to do it but really in my head I'm thinking "can't wait to get out of here" I love to just go home and relax all by myself. Preferably lay in bed with my lights switched off or work. 
It may sound like depression to some people but it's just my personality and that's when I'm at peace. 

I think some people get confused between the meaning of an introvert and someone that just can't get the attention.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

My ex-wife was an extrovert, she cheated, my current fWW is an introvert, and she cheated. Therefore, I don't see any correlation between being an extrovert or an introvert and cheating.

If the question is about whether a person who is a flirt is more likely to cheat, or more in danger of cheating, then there might be. But I've known people who just love to flirt but don't cheat.


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

Rugs said:


> In my opinion, it's a cowardice type of *who avoids conflict or confrontation.*


I agree, much easier to run away to Fantasy Land, than deal with real life.


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

This thread is coincidental to a reply post I just received on a different thread wherein I said that the OP needed to be more content with life and not look for outside sources of happiness to make her happy. I suggested instead that she look inside to find happiness and then reassess the need for more outside stimulus. The reply poster went on to tell me that by not having those outside influences that "make her who she is" that she would, in essence, lose her identity and become lost in motherhood as an all consuming role, no longer being the person she once was.

She then suggested that looking inside for happiness might work for an introverted personality but that more extroverted individuals, of which she claimed to be one, need that outside influence to be happy. I don't buy this but, based on her claim, extroverted individuals are in need of outside stimuli in order to be "happy" more so than introverts. Again, I don't believe this but, if there is truth to it, then it would seem that extroverts would have a higher propensity to need more outside stimuli in order to maintain happiness. Therefore, when the boredom of marriage settles in, they would be more susceptible to advances and attention from people outside the marriage.

And, according to this reply poster, they also need this outside stimulus to define who they are as a person, again implying their vulnerability to outside influences such as flirting and flattery.

I have always found that happiness is more a state of mind than a state of being. Our outside circumstances are in constant flux and if we are completely dependent on them for happiness then what a crazy up and down ride this would be going from the height of euphoria one day to the depths of depression the next. If we do not have at least some inner source of happiness then there would be no stabilizing influence on our mood. So, I am saying that I feel there is little to distinguish between cheating introverts or extroverts but that the deciding factor in a lot of cases is simply one's ability to be content, sometimes with more, sometimes with less as the ebb and flow of life progresses.


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## oneMOreguy (Aug 22, 2012)

NoChoice..........I agree with you, and distill it down further.....someone who needs outside influences to be happy or more content is someone who is low on self esteem and constantly need verification from others to feel good about themselves. This can apply to introverts or extraverts.

Over the last few years I have come to realize that I fit into this category somewhat........probably having a very volatile upbringing with a father who could unpredictably become angry and violent.........just like walking on eggshells my entire childhood. BTW...I am well into the introvert category.


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

oneMOreguy said:


> NoChoice..........I agree with you, and distill it down further.....someone who needs outside influences to be happy or more content is someone who is low on self esteem and constantly need verification from others to feel good about themselves. This can apply to introverts or extraverts.
> 
> Over the last few years I have come to realize that I fit into this category somewhat........probably having a very volatile upbringing with a father who could unpredictably become angry and violent.........just like walking on eggshells my entire childhood. BTW...I am well into the introvert category.


Excellent point. Would it be safe to also add that along with the outside validation these people also need new and exciting activities to sustain their "happiness". Almost like low level thrill seekers looking for their next "fix". It would explain some instances of infidelity, maybe the majority.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Like I had said earlier, one being either an introvert or an extrovert, is in no way, a reliable barometer of potential infidelity on their part.

Now as for those who choose to sow their wild oats earlier in their lives, while logically making one assume that by doing so, that it just gets it out of their system; the more logical inference is that it greatly perpetuates courage to do it again later in life because they have already become more acclimated to the cheaters game plan.

By comparison, the introvert will come to be flattered and comforted by all of the untofore attention that they come to receive, that it makes them feel so grateful that they want to sexually reward the person bringing that newfounded attention their way!


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## oneMOreguy (Aug 22, 2012)

arbitrator said:


> Like I had said earlier, one being either an introvert or an extrovert, is in no way, a reliable barometer of potential infidelity on their part.
> 
> Now as for those who choose to sow their wild oats earlier in their lives, while logically making one assume that by doing so, that it just gets it out of their system; the more logical inference is that it greatly perpetuates courage to do it again later in life because they have already become more acclimated to the cheaters game plan.
> 
> By comparison, the introvert will come to be flattered and comforted by all of the untofore attention that they come to receive, that it makes them feel so grateful that they want to sexually reward the person bringing that newfounded attention their way!


I think many times the distinction between introverts and extraverts is confusing. Maybe best defined by doing things with others (external stimulation) vs doing things in solitary fashion (contemplative). A true introvert with good self esteem will be simply amused by an extravert coming on to them in a ridiculous fashion. 

And as a young introvert, I had absolutely no problem with joining groups and activities, and hitting on the young ladies.......

affairs seem to happen between all types and for all sorts of reasons, and in all types of situations. That's why folks we would never suspect, wind up being in an affair. Sometimes including ourselves.


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Yes. Introverts. Definitely introverts.

And extroverts, too. Definitely extroverts.


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

ellaenchanted said:


> I think there is a difference between someone that is an introvert and someone that feels like the ugly duckling.
> Some people come across as an introvert but really they're the kind of people that want the attention that an extrovert gets but can't get it.
> 
> Introverts don't want or need attention.
> ...




:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:


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