# I just made my last Alimony Payment!



## WasDecimated

Well, I made my last alimony payment on Sunday. It’s going to be like getting a good raise every month from now on. Although It’s sad to think I have paid her over $150,000 in the last 5 years. I could have had some fun with that money. I don’t know how she is going to pay her bills now, but it’s not my problem.

It’s hard to believe that 5 years has went by so fast. I was reflecting on how much I have changed since the divorce. 
XWW’s cheating and the divorce almost never crosses my mind anymore. I have reached the point of indifference towards her. I honestly don’t care. Ironically, my Daughter just told me that XWW and her boyfriend just broke up. It didn’t affect me at all. 

I’m still single and probably will be for a long time, but by choice. I need to finish raising my teenagers before I get mixed up in any relationships. Besides, I’m enjoying doing whatever I want, when I want, and not having to ask permission. It really has been quite liberating. I am so much more optimistic about my future now. I went through some really dark times before, during and after the divorce. I’m thankful they are well behind me now and I am looking forward to the future again with a great sense of optimism.


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## lifeistooshort

Glad to hear it!

I remember when my hb stopped paying his ex child support, which he voluntarily gave her until the kid was 19 even though she went away to college.

The ex whined about how she didn't know how she was going to get by. 

The fact that she built her lifestyle around getting child support and didn't plan for it to end was her problem.

I think that kind of thing happens a lot..... the recipient of spouse's money gets used to having it and doesn't plan for when it will end.


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## Noble1

Congratulations.

I'm sure it was money well spent.


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## Chuck71

So glad you changed your moniker awhile back. You really told it all when you faced dating. Without your

thread, I would have never typed out the four types. I recall reading your old thread but it was old...

didn't know what to say. It's God awful sad you have your kids but still had to pay the leech vaginamony...

yes call it what it is in her case.... but you have your kids..... money can't buy everything. 

Your thread is one of, but by no means the only, reason why I will refuse to ever M again, unless a child(ren)

are in play. As in... already being here. If I already had kids, I would never M again.

A solid will can equal or trump a M, depends upon your state. 

Eating lasagna in the bedroom in my underwear.... watching a West Coast game at 1AM, sorting through a box

of baseball cards.... Priceless!!! I dreaded living alone.... childhood, college lived at home 

to keep from dorm rent, stayed after pop died a year, moved in with g/f aka future XW.... post-D g/f after 

D a handful months later..... then alone.... for I'd say 2.5 years. It takes getting used to.....

but I learned it shall not be given up "without a fight." If a gal gives me a great reason to... so be it.

"We'll see...."


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## SunCMars

On this, the EXWW's well running dry.

She just broke up with the BF?

Why? 
He does not pull enough money in. 
He has to go.
. 
Or, going forward, the EXWW's boyfriend sees his money getting thin, from this day forward.
His money going backward.

Backward into the Red Sea.

My former Homeland, a few thousand years ago.

..................................................................................................

The BF sees his worth shrinking. 
In her eyes, in his wallet, his glassy walleyes.

She likely moaned and groaned and fretted, putting pressure on him to deliver. 
His need to cough up more cash.
He looked at what his meager cash bought, it was slim pickins. 
It became a short lived romp.

Became a dime-a-dozen adventure. He likely was pressured, oft heard 'Woe is me'.

And the smart in him bailed. Leaving her high and dry. 
Leaving her a beached carp, carper. 

She and he lived well, when the well poured forth green water. 
Now, neither can carry water for two.

You say you care not. I find that hard to believe.
You having that satisfied smirk on your face.

A natural thought for you. This happy Karma.
An unnatural thought and unhappy place for her to end up in.

She may bounce back; if she can find another man to carry her water.

If she can fake it till she makes it long enough to set the hook.
Win a new gold ring.

A ring and a paycheck for her best offer. 

Some get lucky, many do not.
To get lucky you must learn from your mistakes, you must grow wisdom teeth.

And you must sustain yourself on humble pie, while still smiling. 

You must be willing to give more than you get. A hard concept to comprehend.

Or, you must be beautiful and sing a good song. Long enough, long enough.
So far her longings are not focused, long enough.

The Red Queen-


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## SunCMars

This is where the baggage factor plays hardball.

When the incoming flights baggage carousal stops. 

Any new man must pick hers and his up.
If his is very heavy, hers is passed over, never picked up.

A series of one-month stands ensues. 
One man, then another.

Or, so it seems. The meat market is very cruel. 
The pickens still slim.


TRQ-


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## Bananapeel

At over $30K/year of alimony I think you are long overdue to treat yourself to a brand new sports car!!!


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## arbitrator

*Congratulations on your newfound wealth, @WasDecimated ! I know that you will enjoy it immensely!

Oh, and if perchance, she asks you out on any dates, don't bother going!*


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## Evinrude58

Be prepared. She will likely find a way to test the waters by communicating with you soon.


Make sure they are arcticly chilled, lol.

Congrats on the “raise”..


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## Truthseeker1

Congratulations!!! Enjoy your wide open future!!!

Here's to hoping your ex gets everything she so richly deserves.


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## inging

I am the end of raising teenagers and I can tell you it is like getting another pay rise .

Can I suggest a little treat that I gave myself. A cleaner comes once a week and cleans the house. It is awesome!


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## Chuck71

Bananapeel said:


> At over $30K/year of alimony I think you are long overdue to treat yourself to a brand new sports car!!!


Or get one of these..... and travel back east. We can ride as twins.


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## sokillme

WasDecimated said:


> Well, I made my last alimony payment on Sunday. It’s going to be like getting a good raise every month from now on. Although It’s sad to think I have paid her over $150,000 in the last 5 years. I could have had some fun with that money. I don’t know how she is going to pay her bills now, but it’s not my problem.
> 
> It’s hard to believe that 5 years has went by so fast. I was reflecting on how much I have changed since the divorce.
> XWW’s cheating and the divorce almost never crosses my mind anymore. I have reached the point of indifference towards her. I honestly don’t care. Ironically, my Daughter just told me that XWW and her boyfriend just broke up. It didn’t affect me at all.
> 
> I’m still single and probably will be for a long time, but by choice. I need to finish raising my teenagers before I get mixed up in any relationships. Besides, I’m enjoying doing whatever I want, when I want, and not having to ask permission. It really has been quite liberating. I am so much more optimistic about my future now. I went through some really dark times before, during and after the divorce. I’m thankful they are well behind me now and I am looking forward to the future again with a great sense of optimism.


Congrats and Next time get a prenup.

Just saying. >


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## Wolfman1968

WasDecimated said:


> Well, I made my last alimony payment on Sunday. It’s going to be like getting a good raise every month from now on. Although It’s sad to think I have paid her over $150,000 in the last 5 years. I could have had some fun with that money. I don’t know how she is going to pay her bills now, but it’s not my problem.


May I offer a suggestion?

Although I am sure you will be tempted to spend this money on things you have been denying yourself, I'd like to offer a different perspective.

Out of necessity, you have adopted a lifestyle that was supported by your lower, alimony-reduced, income. I would suggest that instead of increasing your standard of living, you maintain your current standard and instead invest that $30,000/year you had formerly been sending to your ex. A secure future and comfortable retirement (or other long-term plans) would be a better option, I would think, than a short-term bump in conspicuous consumption.


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## Tron

Wolfman1968 said:


> May I offer a suggestion?
> 
> Although I am sure you will be tempted to spend this money on things you have been denying yourself, I'd like to offer a different perspective.
> 
> Out of necessity, you have adopted a lifestyle that was supported by your lower, alimony-reduced, income. I would suggest that instead of increasing your standard of living, you maintain your current standard and instead invest that $30,000/year you had formerly been sending to your ex. A secure future and comfortable retirement (or other long-term plans) would be a better option, I would think, than a short-term bump in conspicuous consumption.


I don't know about all that.

I think I prefer Chuck's idea. A '67 Corvette Stingray or '68 Mustang Shelby GT would be an investment too...right?

:grin2:


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## SunCMars

Wolfman1968 said:


> May I offer a suggestion?
> 
> Although I am sure you will be tempted to spend this money on things you have been denying yourself, I'd like to offer a different perspective.
> 
> Out of necessity, you have adopted a lifestyle that was supported by your lower, alimony-reduced, income. I would suggest that instead of increasing your standard of living, you maintain your current standard and instead invest that $30,000/year you had formerly been sending to your ex. A secure future and comfortable retirement (or other long-term plans) would be a better option, I would think, than a short-term bump in conspicuous consumption.


I double this suggestion. Put 30K into your 401K, or 403B. Have it taken out of your pay. You will never miss it because you never had it, until now.

Plus, max out your yearly Roth contribution. You will not regret this. Believe me.

Yes, you can take a few nice vacations with a nice lady, two or more years in a row. Invest the rest.

Retirement age comes quick. If you do not have a nice nest egg set aside, you will kick yourself.
I did this. It paid off. 
Having a retirement life without money worries. No working at Walmart as a greeter!!


TRQ-

per The Host-


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## WasDecimated

Thank you All. I appreciate all the congratulatory responses and advice. All of you here at TAM have been great at every step through the unbalanced time in my life. And thanks to you, I’ve made it through just fine.

It’s interesting that Corvettes and 401k’s have come up. I am excited to say that I have both covered.

I have always been a saver, I learned this from my parents. I started monthly contributions of 15% at age 23. Before the divorce, My portfolio was looking extremely good. By the time I married her, 1/3 of that was pre-marital so she couldn’t touch it in the divorce. I ended up losing about 1/3 in the divorce, which left me with 2/3. Post-divorce, I continued to increase my monthly contributions whenever I could. With last year’s Bull market, I had pretty much caught up to where I was pre-divorce, and now with alimony done, plan to increase contributions again, and hope for some market stabilization. 

I remember talking to my father about losing 1/3 third of my investments. His response was “It was a small price to pay to be rid of her”. He also make a great observation by reminding me that after I retire, I will only have to support one person…me. The money will go a lot farther.

As luck would have it, I also owned an old Vette from before I was married. It’s not a cool C1 like @Chuck71 posted, but a restomod C3. I was in the process of building/restoring it when I was interrupted by “D” Day. Thankfully, she couldn’t touch that either. Last year, I resumed the restoration process and am shooting for late summer completion.

Here is something interesting. My son doesn’t thing that XWW even knows that she has received her last alimony payment. The time passed by so fast that she may not realize. I almost didn’t realize it myself. I had to check the settlement agreement to make sure. My XWW was always a live for today person and never planned ahead anyway. I guess I wouldn’t be surprised. 

It’ll be interesting to see if I get a nasty text from her next month!


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## ButtPunch

WasDecimated said:


> It’ll be interesting to see if I get a nasty text from her next month!


You can bet on it


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## farsidejunky

...waiting in anticipation of her meltdown...


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## dubsey

I'm not sure it'll be a meltdown. Who is she going to meltdown at? 

I imagine, Like WD suspects, it'll be a nasty call or text "where's my f'n money" followed by a snarky reply of "alimony is over, baby. I'm done with that ****. good luck"

and that'll be the end of it.


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## Chuck71

WasDecimated said:


> It’ll be interesting to see if I get a nasty text from her next month!


Both my parents stressed saving money. -Don't be like all these other people who jump up and down and have to go spend it when they have two Gdamn nickles to rub together- 

If you notice two were in the car... I was the squirt in the passenger seat. Pop was driving. He bought it for $1200 when I was three months old. When I was of age, I bought it from him for $1201. But it was still more his, than mine. Just to be safe, I signed it over to mom a week before I was M. I've turned down $40k.... it is not mine to sell, but to pass down.

Your XW sounds like mine..... living day to day. Like a goose who wake up in a new world every morning. I'd send one more check... for $1.04. Sign if left corner, "your worth." But that's just me....


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