# First World Perspective



## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

I enjoy the issues we discuss.

Every once in a while I see something that pretty much puts the issues we discuss into stark perspective.

I have no idea how to influence an ingrained culture much, much older and deeper than anything we have in the west when it comes to changing a practice as barbaric as this. I find it more horrifying that it is usually perpetrated by family.

Made me angry. Makes discussion here about communication and respect, seem almost trivial.

Pakistan woman stoned to death by family for marrying man she loved



> Around 1,000 Pakistani women are killed every year by their families in honor killings, according to Pakistani rights group the Aurat Foundation.
> 
> The true figure is probably many times higher since the Aurat Foundation only compiles figures from newspaper reports. The government does not compile national statistics.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

For sure, things like this do elicit feelings of outrage. However, it is mostly academic in that when it comes down to actually solving the actual or perceived problems in ones own life, the solutions have to come from their immediate surroundings. I understand the idea of putting things in perspective, but sometimes that attempt turns into nothing more than a strawman when that perspective is drawn from situations so vastly different as to have no real bearing on the situation at hand.

We see this quite a lot when it comes to body image and attractiveness discussions. Often the discussion is started from an American point of view, and then other cultures are brought up to give perspective, but aside from going "gee whiz", what is considered attractive in Sub Saharan Africa has nothing to do with the current state of the United States.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Deejo said:


> I enjoy the issues we discuss.
> 
> Every once in a while I see something that pretty much puts the issues we discuss into stark perspective.
> 
> ...


I think a more succinct response along with what I posted above is that I don't think it makes some of what we discuss here seem trivial at all, just different.


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

THIS kind of thing is what feminism is supposed to be about. Not man-hating and misandry, not taking away from men, not pitting working moms against sahms or working wives against house wives but giving women the _same _rights and freedoms as men in all countries, everywhere.

It feels hopeless when reading stories like this to think about how women in those countries can fight for their freedoms. The freedom to go to school, the freedom to have a career, the freedom to love who they want instead of marrying their cousin. The safety to take a bus without worry of being gang-raped and impaled to death or like this woman - stoned to death legally in an honour killing.

Another problem is that we as a collective simply don't give a sh!t about people in other countries who we consider to be lesser-than us. Or if we don't care. Don't know where to start to help.

Then there is also the attitude of who the hell are we - to help them? That it's condescending, bigoted and presumptuous to assume that our way is the better way and so we should not go out in the world trying to change other people's customs... 



> "I think if people see this footage they'll say, "oh my God that's horrible," and then go on eating their dinners." - Hotel Rwanda


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

When I read things like this it makes me think of reading the #yesallwomen twitter posts.

They're standing up about feeling unsafe on a college campus,getting sexually harassed at their job,the possibility of being raped at a rave party...meanwhile there are women being STONED TO DEATH in other countries simply bc they married a man they love. 

It doesn't minimize the fears we have here of being raped,abused,etc but damn...it REALLY screws with your head on so many levels.


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

One man's pain and struggles don't take away from our own but these kind of things do provide for perspective. These kind of terrible stories remind me of the Indian proverb, _"I had no shoes and complained until I met a man who had no feet."_

As much as I wish there to be change in those countries I don't think we need to martyr ourselves or pause our development and pursuit for personal or economic or spiritual growth because we know there are others that are worse off than us. If anything, I think it's reason to want to do even better. 

No, not take pleasure that they are oppressed or suffering but to appreciate that we won the geography lottery when conceived and be grateful for being lucky enough to have the kind of problems we have. It should motivate us to be even better. Coming from such an advantageous (by comparison start) there is almost no reason not to be better today than we were yesterday.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

I probably could have chosen a better word than 'trivial' to highlight the kinds of issues we find ourselves discussing or focusing on, on TAM.

If it affects your life, it isn't trivial.

I look at my 8 year old daughter and I can imagine absolutely NO circumstance under which I would want to harm her, ever, let alone round up family members, and hand out bricks to help me do it.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Deejo said:


> I probably could have chosen a better word than 'trivial' to highlight the kinds of issues we find ourselves discussing or focusing on, on TAM.
> 
> If it affects your life, it isn't trivial.
> 
> I look at my 8 year old daughter and I can imagine absolutely NO circumstance under which I would want to harm her, ever, let alone round up family members, and hand out bricks to help me do it.


Oh no doubt, and for that I am thankful that I live in a society where I was not raised with things like that being the norm. The thing is, we would almost certainly feel very differently if we were raised with a different norm.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Appears they have upped the ante on the story. Apparently she was pregnant as well.


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

In England honor killing's, forced marriages and girls being taken to other Countries to get circumcised on school holiday's is a big issue (I'm not sure if it's the same in other western societies).


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## Garro (May 16, 2013)

TiggyBlue said:


> In England honor killing's, forced marriages and girls being taken to other Countries to get circumcised on school holiday's is a big issue (I'm not sure if it's the same in other western societies).


It's maddening how so many western countries let these third worlder cave people flood in to our civilized countries and expect them to act better, even though all they do is bring in their stone-age beliefs and customs and expect us to tolerate it when they need to stay in their lands where they belong. 

Sadly, with the current rate of demographics America and Europe are going to look like third world hell holes in 100 years; mark my words!


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

Third worlder cave people??? 

What a civilized thing to say.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Deejo said:


> Appears they have upped the ante on the story. Apparently she was pregnant as well.


Well that explains... now we understand.. /sarcasm

Most likely their upping the ante by releasing info that she was pregnant is that they actually think that makes the honor killing understandable.


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