# Lasting WAY longer?



## kl84 (Jan 26, 2012)

I would just like a male's perspective on this. Idk if my husband felt totally comfortable talking about it but I am very curious....

To put it in context.... we got into a spat last night. I shut down and stopped talking, he went to bed. After staying up doing laundry, I realized I was probably a little harsh. So I woke him up for some makeup sex. The thing is, he kept going and going. I literally couldn't go anymore, at which point I gave the signal to go. *Usually* he seems to be able to "go" on command. 3 minutes..... 5 minutes..... 10 minutes.....and so on. Last night, he couldn't. If there is ever an incident where he has to stop immediately, he instantly loses his erection. Not the case last night. He was still ready to go. So I gave him oral. And even AFTER he "finished", it wouldn't immediately go down.... 

I'm trying to think..... but in the six years we have been together I don't think this has ever happened. What could possibly cause this... out of nowhere? I'm not going to lie it was a little weird for me because it's seriously never happened. So I didn't know what to think?


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Is he taking any meds recently?

Maybe it was just that awesome of a surprise? 

Sorry - just saw you were asking the guys... LoL!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Accipiter777 (Jul 22, 2011)

It's happened to me here n there. dunno why.


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## kl84 (Jan 26, 2012)

YinPrincess said:


> Is he taking any meds recently?
> 
> Maybe it was just that awesome of a surprise?
> 
> ...


Nope, no meds? The only thing he said was, "I guess I was just really mad" LOL. But we've had makeup sex a ton of times and that never happened.... though I never really wake him out of his sleep for sex..... 

I just didn't know whether or not to be offended LOL. Usually he can go REALLY quickly and I guess by him lasting so much longer I felt I did something wrong.... but then again, usually if something goes wrong he totally loses his erection....


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

yep he was pi$$ed off


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## OhhShiney (Apr 8, 2011)

I am not surprised at all. 

I may be a bit slow on the get go when I first go to bed, but by the time it's 2am, my wife says I usually salute the flag in my sleep. We've found I'm ready to take on anything she sends my way, assuming she's in the mood and awake.

I DO seem to last quite a bit longer at that time of the day. 

_Last night at 4:30am, by way of an actual, real-life example, I went on well past the point where I might have given up_ (I have occasional delayed orgasm due to SSRI use in my past, which means I either can't O, or have some odd combination of disfunction, such as very ill-timed loss of hardness just before time of O, etc). Usually I(we) get frustrated and give up,_ last night I just paused, and kept going… and we both eventually finished. _

_I will encourage such late night activity if I can manage _… (my biggest fantasy would be for her to wake me up with a BJ in the middle of the night, but I digress. )

I've heard that when doctors treat erectile disfunction they ask if you have nocturnal erections -- which provides some evidence that the plumbing is working.


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## kl84 (Jan 26, 2012)

So was it a being woken up thing or being pissed off thing or both? I can understand the being woken up thing, he's always said it would turn him on but I never do it because he sleeps very peacefully (so peaceful I often fantasize of gently rolling him onto the floor when I can't sleep LOL). But being mad? I don't understand the relation.....


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## LaurenceSext (Aug 31, 2012)

my wife says I usually salute the flag in my sleep.


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## mrcow (Jan 27, 2010)

I'm not a marathonist myself, but I remember situations when I was able to last much longer (unusually long for me), and even after ejaculation erection was there for, like, extra 30 secs or so w/o anyu stimulation whatsoever (usually it goes soft much sooner after that).

can't really recall any specific events what could have caused that.. it just seemed to happen that way once in a while.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

What position/s did you use?

I find that if she does cowgirl I sometimes have to flip her over to get my jollies.

Sometimes as a man you are so intent on delaying your orgasm to please your wife that you sort of lose the edge on yours.

I O much easier if I am on top btw.


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## hurtnohio (Jul 17, 2011)

Probably related to him waking up. Men frequently get erections in their sleep, and not always from sexual dreams. That tells me it's an "organic" or "physical" erection that is not directly tied to his state of emotional arousal.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

chillymorn said:


> yep he was pi$$ed off


Lmao...








_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

Lasting long can become "too long" as a guy gets older. Now that I'm back to enjoying sexual intimacy, I have this problem from time to time and one of my ladies would have been more than happy for me finishing in less than fifteen minutes. If it's a problem for the lady, she should speak up because finishing for him isn't the point for most guys.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Happens all the time. Sometimes I'll take up to 20 minutes after finishing to go down.


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## Zatol Ugot? (Mar 5, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Happens all the time. Sometimes I'll take up to 20 minutes after finishing to go down.


Same here. And it has nothing to do with being woken up or being mad or taking meds. I, too, usually have pretty good control and can "go" on demand, so to speak. BUT, there are times where I last longer than intended because I just can't get there for whatever reason. And on occasion, we have had some awesome hot sex where I erupted like a volcano and then stayed hard for quite a while after. That doesn't mean I was ready to go again. Quite the opposite...I was pretty sensitive to the touch.


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## roger boschman (Aug 3, 2012)

Zatol Ugot? said:


> Same here. And it has nothing to do with being woken up or being mad or taking meds. I, too, usually have pretty good control and can "go" on demand, so to speak. BUT, there are times where I last longer than intended because I just can't get there for whatever reason. And on occasion, we have had some awesome hot sex where I erupted like a volcano and then stayed hard for quite a while after. That doesn't mean I was ready to go again. Quite the opposite...I was pretty sensitive to the touch.


 AN ERECTION IS A WONDERFUL THING. It is also temperamental. Eg., if you need 10 factors to be present and you have only 9, you will not have a 90% erection, you will have nothing. And,as we have seen here, we sometimes have terrific erection for no reason at all.

In her case, I guess it was a combination of his being upset, and then finding it was on after all.--Roger


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

The one time I woke my husband up for some, he was totally and completely ready for me. And even after the gigantic orgasm he got, he was still just as rock solid.


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## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

I always wonder if it's his level of arousal that keeps him hard after he finishes? Or does that have nothing to do with it?
But it happens to us too, randomly...it's so tempting to climb back on, hehe...
To the OP- maybe he was just thrilled that you took the initiative AFTER an argument? Maybe he thought all bets are off, but the combo of the reassurance & surprise attack really got him going?
That's what I like to believe anyway)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Spousal Unit (Aug 25, 2012)

Probably most men have a favorite position where they can reliably climax pretty quickly. For me its doggystyle.  I don't usually last long enough that my W gets tired of it, but if she does--typically around the 15-20 minute mark, she “assumes the position” and it never fails to finish me off. I’m sure your H has his special favorite too. If you don’t know what it is, ask him. I’m sure he will be thrilled.

BTW, isn’t makeup sex the bomb? My W and I almost never fight (neither of us is very good at it) but the few times we did the sex afterwards was amazing. I’ve heard many similar reports. Maybe someone should apply for a govt grant to study it……uhh, on second thought!!


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

I think it was the being woken up that was the issue. The mind is a powerful thing during sex. If you're woken up from sleep you haven't had time to get anxious stressed etc. His response at this point is probably a more natural one not influenced by a lot of competing thoughts going through the mind.


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## kl84 (Jan 26, 2012)

karma*girl said:


> I always wonder if it's his level of arousal that keeps him hard after he finishes? Or does that have nothing to do with it?
> But it happens to us too, randomly...it's so tempting to climb back on, hehe...
> To the OP- maybe he was just thrilled that you took the initiative AFTER an argument? Maybe he thought all bets are off, but the combo of the reassurance & surprise attack really got him going?
> That's what I like to believe anyway)
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


LOL. I'm thinking so. He actually held my arms down (never does that) and ummmm.....yeah. I was like holy **** LOL. I got worn out REALLY easy and he was just going....and going....and going....

Maybe we should argue more often :rofl:


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## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

Oooh, I love that..he must've been maaaad! Haha...
Yes, arguing has its up-sides! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

kl84 said:


> I would just like a male's perspective on this. Idk if my husband felt totally comfortable talking about it but I am very curious....
> 
> To put it in context.... we got into a spat last night. I shut down and stopped talking, he went to bed. After staying up doing laundry, I realized I was probably a little harsh. So I woke him up for some makeup sex. The thing is, he kept going and going. I literally couldn't go anymore, at which point I gave the signal to go. *Usually* he seems to be able to "go" on command. 3 minutes..... 5 minutes..... 10 minutes.....and so on. Last night, he couldn't. If there is ever an incident where he has to stop immediately, he instantly loses his erection. Not the case last night. He was still ready to go. So I gave him oral. And even AFTER he "finished", it wouldn't immediately go down....
> 
> I'm trying to think..... but in the six years we have been together I don't think this has ever happened. What could possibly cause this... out of nowhere? I'm not going to lie it was a little weird for me because it's seriously never happened. So I didn't know what to think?


So, it is kind of strange... biologically we (males and females) have neurological controls for sexual responses, however with the difference in anatomy you can imagine that there are some diverging factors involved... Let me break it down this way

The Autonomic control system(ANS) - in charge of the ANS is a part of the brain called the hypothalamus - stores our drive centers - without no sex drive. The ANS if further divided into Sympathetic (Fight or flight) and Parasympathetic (Rest and digest)

one of the functions of the parasympathetic would be to facilitate and erection of either the clitoris or in this case the penis(hormones play a role along with NO - a function of viagra to keep NO loaded up in the system for a long time and can cause erections even in the absence of a strong parasympathetic response).

sympathetic response does not play as much of a role in females when it comes to sex (multiple orgasms) as it does for male... for males it is this switching over from parasympathetic to sympathetic that leads to ejaculation... Switching back to a parasympathetic response from a sympathetic response known as a refractory period (for any biologist yes there are two meanings) takes time. Think about when you are mad or excited, how quickly can you get your heart rate to come down from all the physiological symptoms associated with the rage, etc... you can't.

Everything makes sense except that you insinuated that he was able to get an erection shortly after he ejaculated... read above something I wrote. This really can only be possible by using some form of pharmaceutical. This is just not physiologically possible unless the time between ejaculation and the next erection was much longer than you recall. If it is not the latter point, your H is not telling you something.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Forgot to ask, does he drink copious amounts of alcohol before going to sleep?


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## kl84 (Jan 26, 2012)

drerio said:


> So, it is kind of strange... biologically we (males and females) have neurological controls for sexual responses, however with the difference in anatomy you can imagine that there are some diverging factors involved... Let me break it down this way
> 
> The Autonomic control system(ANS) - in charge of the ANS is a part of the brain called the hypothalamus - stores our drive centers - without no sex drive. The ANS if further divided into Sympathetic (Fight or flight) and Parasympathetic (Rest and digest)
> 
> ...


No, he never got another erection. After he ejaculated, he didn't immediately lose his erection. It wasn't totally up but it definitely took several minutes to completely go down. I know beyond the shadow of a doubt he is not taking any sort of drugs. 

He doesn't drink often. He may have a beer here and there but not every day, for sure. Also, if he drinks too heavily he can't even really get an erection at all.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

kl84 said:


> No, he never got another erection. After he ejaculated, he didn't immediately lose his erection. It wasn't totally up but it definitely took several minutes to completely go down. I know beyond the shadow of a doubt he is not taking any sort of drugs.
> 
> He doesn't drink often. He may have a beer here and there but not every day, for sure. Also, if he drinks too heavily he can't even really get an erection at all.


So Ok, that sounds right. The time for an erection can vary, especially the description you presented leading up to having sex... I would not find it a real concern... There studies done that show men who have premature ejaculation can be helped by doing some biofeedback exercises, similar to yoga.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Meh. Seems normal to me. Happens to me off and on. Hell it happened to me today. I popped, got my wife off 4 or 5 times, never went down, and was still trying to get a second cum after she collapsed, totally exhausted.

The times where I'm like you describe in the OP, the sex was just_ really_ good.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

The other day I had a splitting headache, my neck glands were swollen, and I generally felt lousy. My wife and I had sex when I came home from work and I was the same way. Would not go soft and it ended up being a stellar session. Now that morning I had given her an orgasm with my hands before I went to work but didn't finish myself. Not sure if that had anything to do with it.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

sandc said:


> The other day I had a splitting headache, my neck glands were swollen, and I generally felt lousy. My wife and I had sex when I came home from work and I was the same way. Would not go soft and it ended up being a stellar session. Now that morning I had given her an orgasm with my hands before I went to work but didn't finish myself. Not sure if that had anything to do with it.


Both are probably have some similarities both neurologically and or hormonally. Do you get swelling around the neck often?


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

drerio said:


> Both are probably have some similarities both neurologically and or hormonally. Do you get swelling around the neck often?


Not often. Just when I'm fighting an infection or virus. My headaches are due to eye strain and when I start getting more frequent and more painful headaches, it's usually an indicator that my eyeglass prescription has changed. I've had some pretty ferocious TMJ in the past too. I have a stressful job.

You don't think it's libido cancer do you?


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

sandc said:


> Not often. Just when I'm fighting an infection or virus. My headaches are due to eye strain and when I start getting more frequent and more painful headaches, it's usually an indicator that my eyeglass prescription has changed. I've had some pretty ferocious TMJ in the past too. I have a stressful job.
> 
> You don't think it's libido cancer do you?


Will send you a PM


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## TallJeff (Nov 1, 2011)

Here's my guess:you got into a fight and he went to bed. He thought he wasn't getting any that night, so he masturbated before going to bed (always helps a man sleep better).

When you woke him up, he was able to last a long time, and less likely to finish on command, because he'd recently ejaculated.

Just a theory. But it might be a good one.

I wouldn't worry about it if it's a one time thing.

(though if it ever happened again in this scenario, you might be playful/dirty and ask if he was thinking of doing you really hard when he was **ing off.)


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## t4miky (Sep 2, 2012)

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