# Stepfather Advice



## jsa750k (Nov 27, 2011)

Been married to wife for a few years. Now her daughter wants to get married. 26,very immature to a guy 30,immature,HS dropout,dead end job, list goes on for both of them. Should I speak my mind to her and get it off my chest,or keep my mouth shut ?


----------



## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

jsa750k said:


> Been married to wife for a few years. Now her daughter wants to get married. 26,very immature to a guy 30,immature,HS dropout,dead end job, list goes on for both of them. Should I speak my mind to her and get it off my chest,or keep my mouth shut ?


Speak your mind to who?


----------



## chattycathy (Aug 19, 2011)

mouth shut


----------



## jsa750k (Nov 27, 2011)

Conrad, I meant speak my mind to stepdaughter. Chattycathy,do you agree that women run on emotion and men run on logic ? So,emotionally,shes looking for way to get out of the house and have what her mom has,but as a man,logically,shes marrying the wrong guy and setting herself up for failure.


----------



## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Mouth shut .
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

How is your relationship with your step-daughter? Is it a respectful one? If it is good, then you can try convey to her your concerns while at the same time acknowledging that you respect her and her decisions. If it isn't, then your message, no matter how respectful and well intentioned, will be taken as an attack on her and her stbh and in the case it would be wise to keep your mouth shut. So think first.


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Mouth shut.

They are adults.


----------



## jsa750k (Nov 27, 2011)

Yeah,they are adults,like when they spend all their time in her room,watching tv or playing xbox. Like how she sits on line ALL DAY and only leaves her room to smoke. Expects her mom to do her laundry,sneaks her bf's laundry into the pile,never cooks,cleans or says thanks. Meanwhile,He is Mormon and lives at a house with 3 others and a "mom". He is at her beck and call,does whatever she says,whenever she says it. A young woman has called and wanted to tell stepdaughter about their sexual realationship etc... Drama and reasons why I dont expect it to last.


----------



## Bo_Hunter (Dec 1, 2011)

Kids have to learn their own lessons, even adult ones.


----------



## StayGravity (Oct 23, 2011)

I agree Mouth Shut.


----------



## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

I think it depends on the type of relationship your wife helped to establish before you came into the picture, and then your relationship. My daughter, son and I discussed this some time ago. They respect my opinion, and one of them has backed away from a bad situation based only on that. It wasn't easy, and it often doesn't go well, but who is she going to come to for money and help if it sours? That's my point - I've let the kids know that their adult decisions are permanent, with permanent ramifications if I'm ignored. If they at least listen to my opinions, they get a free college education and possibly a new house with marriage - If not, nada.


----------



## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

My step daughter is 21. If she asks me what I think about a situation she gets exactly that. LOL If I'm not asked I usually bite my tongue. If I see she about screw up royally then she gets my opinion whether she wants it or not.


----------



## Laurae1967 (May 10, 2011)

Do you really think your stepdaughter will listen to your advice, especially if she's as misguided as you've described her to be? Heck no!

She has to learn her lessons. I'm curious why you allow your 26 year old stepdaughter to live with you. She's an adult! She should be on her own, with a job, running her own life, not mooching off of you.


----------

