# I was tricked into sex and it's ruining my life. Don't even know what to do



## horace (Jul 4, 2017)

I really hope I can get some help because I'm completely lost. I fell into a trap and now my life has been turned upside down. One of my close friends got caught cheating on his wife over a year ago. His wife was hurt but decided to stick it out with him. She's extrememly overweight (400+ pounds) and has always had self esteem issues. In the past, she joked about cheating on him to get even but it always came across as a joke. Over the past few months, she made some sexual advances towards me but I always ignored them. Not only am I married, her husband is also my good friend and I could never do that to him. Back in May, I spent the night over their house since I had drunk to much and didn't want to take the chance driving home. I crashed on the couch and went home in the morning. Later that day, his wife texted me some pictures and apparently, she came in the living room when I was sleeping and took some pictures of her lips close to my private area. Basically, the pictures made it look like we had sex. Of course this is a blackmail as I was sleep the whole time and did not willingly do any of this. I called her and she said that she will send the pictures out and tell everyone we slept together and the only thing I can do to stop her is to willingly sleep with her.

I didn't want to do it and I didn't think it through but at the time, it seemed to be the best way to get her off my back. I decided to sleep with her and in exchange, she said she would delete the pictures. Turns out that was a lie and now she has even more pictures. Since then, she has been blackmailing me into sex. She says that if I stop, she will expose to everyone. We've been meeting up for sex 3-4 times per week now. I'm not even attracted to her and was only doing this to save my own marriage and friendship. I'm tired of this and she's made me do some disgusting things that I don't even do with my wife! I know this sounds so far fetched but I promise that I'm in this situation and I've dug myself in a hole that I can't get out of. I've thought about telling her husband but of course he won't believe it and if my wife finds out, she will probably ask for a divorce. I'm lost and need some guidance to get this woman off my back.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

You are kidding right? When she tried to blackmail you show the evidence to your wife duh!

If this is for real, secretly tape her confessing to the blackmail or talking about it and then threaten to expose her for what she is, two can play that game


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## KevinZX (Jul 1, 2017)

You messed up with the farmyard wife, get round there and steal her phone, no more proof, you are too easily led my man, no way you should have fallen for this little scam, always tell your wife in the first instance when confronted by the walrus sex trap, you could have nipped it in the bud right off. The sex must have been interesting, please start a blog, every detail please, best thing about walrus sex trap women is they cannot run fast, you should be able to get free from this situation if you don't panic, play it cool and get that phone of her.
Love and peace
KevinZX


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## horace (Jul 4, 2017)

I've thought about recording her and no I'm not kidding. The issue is that recordings are illegal in my area. I don't want to end up in worse trouble unless a recording can for sure get me out of this.


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

Take the damn phone and delete everything. Tell your wife and friend so there is nothing that hold over you. Full truth and disclosure is the only way out of this mess.


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## drifting on (Nov 22, 2013)

OP, I hate to admit, but you must consider this, that this really doesn't sound real. That said it also could be true, and if it is, this would suck. What you should have done is record your friends wife when she showed you the very first picture and exposed. That has since passed and now you have had sex 3-4 times a week. Your wife and best friend are going to feel betrayed, no getting around that. Would you feel better if the situation reversed and you were your wife or friend? So now you say you're the better person because you were blackmailed, when in fact you continued. 

The best you can hope for now is that both marriages can recover or amicably split ways. Friendship is most likely over, infidelity is hard on marriage, but the double betrayal is most likely to much to get past. Expose and beg for mercy, get into counseling as to why you are behaving this way, find out why you couldn't talk to your wife or friend before you began having sex. Unfortunately you chose the wrong way to handle this.


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## pbj2016 (May 7, 2017)

This can't be real. No way someone would fall for this. OP you bored? If this is real you deserve what is coming to you. Grow some integrity. Confess to those you have betrayed and enjoy the beating that is coming your way.


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

horace said:


> I've thought about recording her and no I'm not kidding. The issue is that recordings are illegal in my area. I don't want to end up in worse trouble unless a recording can for sure get me out of this.


There's no way out for you man. Just keep doing her and hope for the best. Since your where you are, is there any chance of getting any money out of her for your service? Hey, it won't hurt to ask. If she willing to expose herself in the blackmail, your service is worth something.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

I am going to give you the benefit, record her and take the chance. What is she going to do have you prosecuted for recording her blackmailing her? Frankly it would be good for society if that happened as it would show what crap the recording laws are. Someone would take your case to set precedent. Anyway, you need to record her and then show your wife. Hope that you wife is adult enough to see this as what it is and what it isn't. Seriously fight back.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

horace said:


> I've thought about recording her and no I'm not kidding. The issue is that recordings are illegal in my area. I don't want to end up in worse trouble unless a recording can for sure get me out of this.


So a recording is illegal and your afraid of trouble even though nobody ever gets in trouble for doing it and this is exactly what she did to get you in this mess. :scratchhead:


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## twoofus (Jun 16, 2017)

What a depressingly stupid situation to get into. I cannot honestly believe that anyone could allow this to happen. Report the blackmail to the police or simply claim the photographs have been faked.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Blackmail and sexual assault. Contact the police. They can get access to her phone.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

horace said:


> I've thought about recording her and no I'm not kidding. The issue is that recordings are illegal in my area. I don't want to end up in worse trouble unless a recording can for sure get me out of this.


Here is a site that might help you to look up the laws about recording someone else.

For example in Illinois, their supreme court found that their all party consent law is unconstitutional. So it's basically a one party consent state. Look up your state.

*Illinois Recording Law | Digital Media Law Project*

Further, blackmail is illegal. Every state allows for one party recording if the purpose is to record someone committing a crime.

And even further, what do you think this woman would do if you used a VAR, voice activated recorder, to record a conversation you have with her in which you get her to talk about her black mailing you, her taking photos of you that you did not agree to, etc.?

Do you realize that if it is true that she blackmailed you to have to sex with you, that she is committing multiple crimes: blackmail AND rape. Yep she is raping you.

Do you think she is going to call the police and say that you illegally recorded her illegal activity?

Do you really think that she is going to run to all your family and friends and tell them that, OMG, you got a video recording of her admitting to blackmailing you and raping you?

If I were you, I would get a VAR, and hide it where she cannot see it. Then get her to talk about the blackmail. Then take that recording and upload it to a safe place on a cloud and put a copy of it on some storage device that she cannot get to. Maybe secure the device in a safe deposit box.

Then see her again and get her phone, erase everything over it and destroy it so that no one can retrieve deleted photos. She is probably not tech savvy enough to have copied them to a safe place.

Those initial photos of you that she used to blackmail you, did you have clothing on?


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## EllaSuaveterre (Oct 2, 2016)

uhtred said:


> Blackmail and sexual assault. Contact the police. They can get access to her phone.


Quoted for truth. I was once in a fairly similar situation and my only regret is not calling the police at the very fist sign of blackmail.


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## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

horace said:


> I really hope I can get some help because I'm completely lost. I fell into a trap and now my life has been turned upside down. One of my close friends got caught cheating on his wife over a year ago. His wife was hurt but decided to stick it out with him. She's extrememly overweight (400+ pounds) and has always had self esteem issues. In the past, she joked about cheating on him to get even but it always came across as a joke. Over the past few months, she made some sexual advances towards me but I always ignored them. Not only am I married, her husband is also my good friend and I could never do that to him. Back in May, I spent the night over their house since I had drunk to much and didn't want to take the chance driving home. I crashed on the couch and went home in the morning. Later that day, his wife texted me some pictures and apparently, she came in the living room when I was sleeping and took some pictures of her lips close to my private area. Basically, the pictures made it look like we had sex. Of course this is a blackmail as I was sleep the whole time and did not willingly do any of this. I called her and she said that she will send the pictures out and tell everyone we slept together and the only thing I can do to stop her is to willingly sleep with her.
> 
> I didn't want to do it and I didn't think it through but at the time, it seemed to be the best way to get her off my back. I decided to sleep with her and in exchange, she said she would delete the pictures. Turns out that was a lie and now she has even more pictures. Since then, she has been blackmailing me into sex. She says that if I stop, she will expose to everyone. We've been meeting up for sex 3-4 times per week now. I'm not even attracted to her and was only doing this to save my own marriage and friendship. I'm tired of this and she's made me do some disgusting things that I don't even do with my wife! I know this sounds so far fetched but I promise that I'm in this situation and I've dug myself in a hole that I can't get out of. I've thought about telling her husband but of course he won't believe it and if my wife finds out, she will probably ask for a divorce. I'm lost and need some guidance to get this woman off my back.


Really?

So what she stripped you naked then put her face near your privates? If you were asleep then clearly if your face is showing then it's obvious you're asleep....no?

Unless you've got very unique privates then how would anyone know it's you?

Besides the fact if she actually simulated sex while you were asleep the first reaction is outright anger, then even more anger that you're being blackmailed into sleeping with someone else's wife.

But good luck to you sir, quite a pickle you find yourself in.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

If she's a 400 pounder you may not have cheated. Hard to tell but youmay have just hit between two rolls and not achieved penetration.


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

In what universe is this being tricked into sex. You are the one who drank too much and the excuse of doing it to get her off your back is just that, an excuse. If you read about cheating you will find that one of the key elements to knowing if the cheater will cheat again is whether they accept full responsibility for their cheating. That means no drunk excuse or the devil made you do it. No doing it to stop being bugged to do it. Did she triple dog dare you to have sex with her? You screwed up and the best thing you can do is take responsibility for your actions. Talking about her weight and all that other nonsense is just trying to make it seem like a kindness and place the blame from where it belongs to somewhere else. 

When I cheated I made no excuses. Still married for 44+ years and got my wife to share me with her best friend for 30 years. That was a result of being honest about my sexual and emotional needs.


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## introvert (May 30, 2016)

Vinnydee said:


> I will have to remember your excuses, so if I cheat I will tell my wife that I did it to shut the woman up about asking me to do it all the time. There are so many fake posts online that I am having a hard time believing this one. If true it does not reflect you in a good light


if true, it reflects him in a totally stupid light!

This post is hard to believe.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

This is a weighty topic.

Too heavy. No foundation can it carry.

Penile extortion.

Expanded waist lines, vast waste lands, stretched expansive Savannah lore' and scary, obvious Lion country.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

I know my story is bizarre and a lot of people didn't believe it could be real for a while, but this is complete horsepoop to me.
No way some 400lber comes up to you while your sleeping and pulls the hammer out and you don't wake up.
If it's real he let it happen. He knew she took the pics. You'd have to smell her coming.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

horace said:


> She's extrememly overweight (400+ pounds)


Sex crazed morbidly obese woman is blackmailing you and forcing you to do nasty things?

Sounds reasonable.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*If what you're telling is the absolute truth, then incorporate your local law enforcement into it.

She should be doing some fast jail time!*


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

I'm like the fish in the hot summer. Not biting


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Thound said:


> I'm like the fish in the hot summer. Not biting


I know those fish. Not first hand...uh, uh...

I know them as blips on my fish finder.

I only wish a four hundred pounder would take my hook....

Me, having 200 lb. braided line. A monster hook....

Gawd, the sweat that would flow when I pull tight on that line. Jerking my Rod and my ponderous two-ball bearing reel upward. Upward, in a crazed hard arch toward the blue sky. 

And knowing I have hooked a beautiful four hundred pounder... Knowing that I am going to have the ride of my life.

Knowing that she will up-tilt my unsinkable Boston Whaler. 

And God Forbid if I land this smooth jawed fish, it will crush me. 

Yes, using my last breath, I would roar, "It is not a fish, it is Moby's Diks Mermaid that I have landed." And that sperm whale will have his revenge on me for being an ocean going POSOM. 

He would bellow, "How is it.... such a small worm as you and yours, attracts and catches such a colossal Red Cheeked Algal Bloom that is mine, and mine alone to carouse with".

Oveboard and down to Davey Jones locker I would go, until like Jonas, Moby makes me his supper. Forever in his belly, hearing him and feeling him.... bump and bang his way into the innards of this Wayward Mermaid. His has the proper and rightful bone for such a large Lady Fish.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

@SunCMars, you have managed to turn this ridiculous thread into the sublime, lol.


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

Enough with the fat shaming. Some people in this world are 400 lbs and are good people who deserve respect. Just because you may not find them attractive doesn't mean they aren't attractive to someone else. Being that overweight comes with a whole set of inherent problems, and they don't need to made the butt of jokes.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

wilson said:


> Enough with the fat shaming. Some people in this world are 400 lbs and are good people who deserve respect. Just because you may not find them attractive doesn't mean they aren't attractive to someone else. Being that overweight comes with a whole set of inherent problems, and they don't need to made the butt of jokes.


When we say "morbidly obese," that is a clinical term, not a pejorative one. 

400 lbs is horribly unhealthy. Unhealthy is inherently unattractive, at least to most normal people.

Except in cases of an untreatable, professionally diagnosed condition, carrying that kind of weight _is _shameful.


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> When we say "morbidly obese," that is a clinical term, not a pejorative one.
> 
> 400 lbs is horribly unhealthy. Unhealthy is inherently unattractive, at least to most normal people.
> 
> Except in cases of an untreatable, professionally diagnosed condition, carrying that kind of weight _is _shameful.


Regardless, implying that a 400 lbs person is a smelly whale is not going to help them. Based on the typical American diet, I would guess that most people on this site are overweight to some degree, with some being very or morbidly obese. There's no sense to throw in a lot of fat shaming in this thread when it has nothing to do with the OP.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

StillSearching said:


> I know my story is bizarre and a lot of people didn't believe it could be real for a while, but this is complete horsepoop to me.
> No way some 400lber comes up to you while your sleeping and pulls the hammer out and you don't wake up.
> If it's real he let it happen. He knew she took the pics. You'd have to smell her coming.


Really? So if a woman were 120 lbs and did this she could pull it off? But not if the woman is overweight? 

The OP says that he was very drunk. Maybe in that state anyone could have done anything to him. Maybe he will learn to control his drinking and not put himself in a situation where he is vulnerable.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

wilson said:


> Regardless, implying that a 400 lbs person is a smelly whale is not going to help them. Based on the typical American diet, I would guess that most people on this site are overweight to some degree, with some being very or morbidly obese. There's no sense to throw in a lot of fat shaming in this thread when it has nothing to do with the OP.


Of course, the woman's weight (assuming this is all legit; as many have noted, the whole thing smells fishy) is really an unnecessary sidebar to the actual topic under discussion. Therefore, any mention of her weight, be it shaming or not, is really beside the point. Unless it speaks to her motivation/method of achieving a sexual encounter here, which seems to be the case here. 

While "shaming" is generally not helpful, neither is implying that 400lbs is okay. Part of being "good people" is taking care of yourself. If this woman was "good people," she'd take better care of herself and try to have a satisfying sex life with her husband. "Good people" certainly don't commit sexual assault or blackmail, so it most certainly doesn't apply to the woman described in this post. 

No, I'm not justifying certain comments specifically intended to be mean-spirited, and which make no attempt to help the OP, but also realize that not every comment one may interpret as "shaming" actually is. Some are just the unvarnished truth.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

So she is 30 stones in weight? 

Oh, my. That's not healthy.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

The quote from SunC:



> "And knowing I have hooked a beautiful four hundred pounder... Knowing that I am going to have the ride of my life."


I put beautiful in front of four hundred pounds. And I called her a Mermaid of giant proportions. Mermaids are attractive.

No put down here, Mr @wilson.

God put women on this Earth to procreate and to have sex. All of them, little, medium, large and [oh, my goodness!]

In our present day and age women can enjoy their bodies as much as they like. And I hope they do, hope they can. At least they can in Western countries.

And yes, @EleGirl, a 120 pound women could pull it off l. She too has two hands, the same sly grin. She may be more agile and quicker, but nothing more up her silk sleeve than her larger counterpart.

Her counterpart has the same number of flesh parts. Many will be bigger, some not. Her heft may keep the haft of OP's sword from reaching the center of her universe. That is the only limiting motion in this very sPacific ocean. 

I felt the need to defend myself. I love all people, skinny, medium and plump.

Can I go home, now?

Just Sayin'


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

I think you should just tell your wife now. You cheated. 
Blackmail or not, you still made the decision to sleep with the woman. 
You had free will and could have called her bluff. Pictures say a thousand words, but your conscience and excuses say much more about your character. 


Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

If this story is real, the woman blackmailed the guy by taking faked photos. And she has been basically raping him (forced sex via blackmail) for months. And yet all most people here care to talk about is her weight.

This surely says something about what people care about... fat shaming vs blackmail and rape.... fat shaming wins.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

EleGirl said:


> If this story is real, the woman blackmailed the guy by taking faked photos. And she has been basically raping him (forced sex via blackmail) for months. And yet all most people here care to talk about is her weight.
> 
> This surely says something about what people care about... fat shaming vs blackmail and rape.... fat shaming wins.


It seems to me the weight is a relevant component of this discussion. Yes, there have been a few comments that are pure shaming, but many of the comments that mention weight seem to have relevance. 

Again, assuming this is all legit, it is obvious this woman has significant emotional and/or mental issues that are driving this behavior. Unless I'm really missing something, it seems her issues either stem from her weight or are, at a minimum, the same underlying issues that drive her weight also are driving this behavior. OP said she has self esteem issues. Did she start with low self esteem and that led to her weight, or is she just heavy and that led to poor self esteem? Either way, the weight is a central component in her current behavior. 

Now, it may be that the way the OP responds to sexual assault and blackmail should have nothing to do with his assailant's motivation. She should be reported and prosecuted no matter why she does it. But given the way the OP presented the case originally, it seemed a meaningful element to him. Him gaining some understanding of how her weight plays into this may help him process what happened, even if it doesn't directly impact how he responds.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> It seems to me the weight is a relevant component of this discussion. Yes, there have been a few comments that are pure shaming, but many of the comments that mention weight seem to have relevance.
> 
> Again, assuming this is all legit, it is obvious this woman has significant emotional and/or mental issues that are driving this behavior. Unless I'm really missing something, it seems her issues either stem from her weight or are, at a minimum, the same underlying issues that drive her weight also are driving this behavior. OP said she has self esteem issues. Did she start with low self esteem and that led to her weight, or is she just heavy and that led to poor self esteem? Either way, the weight is a central component in her current behavior.
> 
> Now, it may be that the way the OP responds to sexual assault and blackmail should have nothing to do with his assailant's motivation. She should be reported and prosecuted no matter why she does it. But given the way the OP presented the case originally, it seemed a meaningful element to him. Him gaining some understanding of how her weight plays into this may help him process what happened, even if it doesn't directly impact how he responds.


There have been plenty of overweight men who rape women, blackmail women into sex, etc. I have yet to see any discussion yet, in any case of a man who does this, about how the man's weight is the major issue to be concerned about.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

EleGirl said:


> There have been plenty of overweight men who rape women, blackmail women into sex, etc. I have yet to see any discussion yet, in any case of a man who does this, about how the man's weight is the major issue to be concerned about.


If it's relevant, it should be addressed, no matter who is perpetrator and who is victim.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> If it's relevant, it should be addressed, no matter who is perpetrator and who is victim.


Of course a person should take care of their own body. So if they are overweight, they should address it.

However, when discussing what seem to be crimes here, her weight has nothing to do with it. She has committed crimes. She should be accountable for her crimes.

A judge, or a jury, are not going to take her weight into consideration.

She is not on her posting about help she needs for her weight problem. There is nothing anyone on here can do to help her with her weight problem. Her weight problem is not the problem of this thread.

The problem of this thread is that, if the OP's story is true, he has allowed himself to be used by a rapist and blackmailer and he needs to deal with it.

Somehow, I don't think that the OP will be back.


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> If it's relevant, it should be addressed, no matter who is perpetrator and who is victim.


To me, the only comment about weight that was relevant to this discussion was in the OP when he mentioned it as a reason he wasn't attracted to her. All the other weight-related comments seemed more about making fun of her for being overweight (and by association, all overweight people).


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> If this story is real, the woman blackmailed the guy by taking faked photos. And she has been basically raping him (forced sex via blackmail) for months. And yet all most people here care to talk about is her weight.
> 
> This surely says something about what people care about... fat shaming vs blackmail and rape.... fat shaming wins.


OK....though [in my expansive mind] am not feeling guilty of fat shaming. 

Yes, making adipose jokes. Me? Cannot add any really troubling pose that she made; nothing of substance to reflect on. She did not impose or add doubts beyond what I call her insanely comical behavior. 

OP should not have had sex with her. That only added extra weight to her 'already' heavy claims. 

*The thing is, his hide would have been toast, regardless. His wife would never have believed his denials. Would you, Dear?*
And, this is mostly his fault: He passed out drunk, away from home...some women making accusations, having [his] **** pictures. 
Oh, and the big lady told him prior, that she wanted his sack in her bed. He knew she was predatory.

In all honesty, with the exception of the coercion and blackmail involved, the tale does not bother me. I stumble-chuckle it off. To some dark corner in my mind.

Maybe this is a typical cavalier male response. No maybes about it.

If your husband came home and told you what happened...all the pertinent details, what would you do, Ele?
And if the women showed you the pictures of your treasured man's private parts in her hands, exposed for all to see?

What size boot do you wear? I suspect your husband would need an equally large ceramic plate stuffed down his backside. 
Oh, and cotton earplugs.....


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

wilson said:


> To me, the only comment about weight that was relevant to this discussion was in the OP when he mentioned it as a reason he wasn't attracted to her. All the other weight-related comments seemed more about making fun of her for being overweight (and by association, all overweight people).


So pointing out that excessive weight is unhealthy is "making fun?" 
as is addressing the link between obesity and low self esteem?

Admittedly, those tangents may be irrelevant to how the OP should proceed, but they are in no way intended to "make fun" of the woman here or, by extension, all overweight people. 

And those tangents may actually be helpful. OP asked specifically "how to get her off his back." Certainly, her state of mind is part of that, and her state of mind is very likely linked to her weight. 

Most posters straight up went directly to fess up to the wife, call the cops, expose and prosecute. Only a few mentioned weight at all, and of those, only two that I saw were focused on making fun.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> If this story is real, the woman blackmailed the guy by taking faked photos. And she has been basically raping him (forced sex via blackmail) for months. And yet all most people here care to talk about is her weight.
> 
> This surely says something about what people care about... fat shaming vs blackmail and rape.... fat shaming wins.


Not at all. I was 21 stone in weight and dropped to 14 with a lot of exercise and dieting. So I know the health problems that morbid obesity can cause.

It's possible that her (probably) illegal acts might result from psychological problems.

The OP has given her power over his life. Which he should not have done.
@horace, Police. *Now.*


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> So pointing out that excessive weight is unhealthy is "making fun?"
> as is addressing the link between obesity and low self esteem?
> 
> Admittedly, those tangents may be irrelevant to how the OP should proceed, but they are in no way intended to "make fun" of the woman here or, by extension, all overweight people.
> ...


I can't really find many quotes from this thread which back up your point that people were just making links between health and weight. I did find many that seem to be making fun of fat people in general, such as:

- best thing about walrus sex trap women is they cannot run fast,
- Hard to tell but you may have just hit between two rolls and not achieved penetration.
- This is a weighty topic.
- Too heavy. No foundation can it carry.
- No way some 400lber comes up to you while your sleeping and pulls the hammer out and you don't wake up
- "It is not a fish, it is Moby's Diks Mermaid that I have landed."
- You'd have to smell her coming.

It could be that you don't see those statements as insulting or denigrating, but they are to someone who is very overweight. It doesn't motivate them to get healthier. Instead, it makes them feel more worthless and more depressed and less likely to change.

There is no reason to make statements like that at any time, much less in a thread like this where it has no bearing on a solution to the problem presented in the OP.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

wilson said:


> I can't really find many quotes from this thread which back up your point that people were just making links between health and weight. I did find many that seem to be making fun of fat people in general, such as:
> 
> - best thing about walrus sex trap women is they cannot run fast,
> - Hard to tell but you may have just hit between two rolls and not achieved penetration.
> ...


As already admitted, a few were straight up out of line

but
multiple quotes there are from the same post/single poster, so the egregious behavior is not so widespread as some have claimed. 
And something like "This is a weighty topic" is hardly worth getting bent about. As much as you think I may be overlooking insulting posts, you seem to be finding more than really exist. 

I won't even go into the stupidity of using criticism as justification for just getting worse about what you're receiving criticism for. I know that's how many people react, but it's still ridiculous. Whenever someone smacks me with a harsh dose of reality, I find it immensely motivating, which makes a hell of a lot more sense.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> If this story is real.....


I'm willing to bet that's a big 'no.'


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> I'm willing to bet that's a big 'no.'


Happy belated 4th of July, everyone!


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

wilson said:


> To me, the only comment about weight that was relevant to this discussion was in the OP when he mentioned it as a reason he wasn't attracted to her. All the other weight-related comments seemed more about making fun of her for being overweight (and by association, all overweight people).


My perception is if she weighed 125, 5'6"" sporting 38Cs, she wouldn't have to resort to blackmail. Personal I've always liked the voluptuous girls but 400 lbs is about 220 over the top. Like it or not, too much weight on a man or woman ain't that sexy.


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## horace (Jul 4, 2017)

I appreciate all the advice. Just so it's clear, I didn't mention her weight to bash her, I just brought it up because I'm not attracted to bigger women and plus, her weight was a source of her self esteem issues. Honestly, I've been confused about what to do but after reading here, I realize that one thing for sure is that my wife needs to hear this from me first. So I'm working on a way to tell my wife and I guess we can handle it from there. IT's going to be a lot worse if she finds out from her or someone else. I just don't know how I can tell her this but I Will do it.


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## horace (Jul 4, 2017)

EleGirl said:


> Here is a site that might help you to look up the laws about recording someone else.
> 
> For example in Illinois, their supreme court found that their all party consent law is unconstitutional. So it's basically a one party consent state. Look up your state.
> 
> ...


I had clothing on but none show my face so they come across like I'm having sex with her.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

horace said:


> I appreciate all the advice. Just so it's clear, I didn't mention her weight to bash her, I just brought it up because I'm not attracted to bigger women and plus, her weight was a source of her self esteem issues. Honestly, I've been confused about what to do but after reading here, I realize that one thing for sure is that my wife needs to hear this from me first. So I'm working on a way to tell my wife and I guess we can handle it from there. IT's going to be a lot worse if she finds out from her or someone else. I just don't know how I can tell her this but I Will do it.


Glad we haven't scared you off. 

But I must add that I'm not sure why you would be confused about what to do after reading here. Setting aside the tangents and weight discussion, the advice has been remarkably consistent. 

1. Tell your wife--it sounds like you're good to go with that one. Truthfully, there's no really good way to do this. You have to be straightforward and above all, completely honest and transparent. that's going to be difficult for you because you know you should have never allowed this to happen in the first place. But you have to do it, and sooner. Don't let agonizing over "the right way" to tell her give you an excuse to delay any longer. 

2. Report this to the authorities. I'm guessing this is the part you're still confused about. I can certainly understand the conflict you may be feeling here, but if anything, reading the posts on this thread should have made you less confused about this, not more. 

3. Expose to her husband. Same thoughts as #2 above.


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## horace (Jul 4, 2017)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> Glad we haven't scared you off.
> 
> But I must add that I'm not sure why you would be confused about what to do after reading here. Setting aside the tangents and weight discussion, the advice has been remarkably consistent.
> 
> ...


Well I was a little confused because I was thinking about trying to record her but knowing that she could get in trouble for recording me, I could probably get in trouble for it too. I know 2 wrongs don't make a right and I just want to get out of this without causing any more damage than I already have.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

horace said:


> Well I was a little confused because I was thinking about trying to record her but knowing that she could get in trouble for recording me, I could probably get in trouble for it too. I know 2 wrongs don't make a right and I just want to get out of this without causing any more damage than I already have.


I see.
The recording thing can be tricky. I think Elegirl shared a relevant link about recording laws in one state. I don't know if that's where you live. Have you researched the actual laws in your state? If not, you need to do so pronto. Get a lawyer if you can.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

horace said:


> I appreciate all the advice. Just so it's clear, I didn't mention her weight to bash her, I just brought it up because I'm not attracted to bigger women and plus, her weight was a source of her self esteem issues. Honestly, I've been confused about what to do but after reading here, I realize that one thing for sure is that my wife needs to hear this from me first. So I'm working on a way to tell my wife and I guess we can handle it from there. IT's going to be a lot worse if she finds out from her or someone else. I just don't know how I can tell her this but I Will do it.


I think that getting a recording of that woman admitting to the fake photos and blackmail would help when you tell your wife. She can listen to that women admitting what she did. YOu will still have to deal with your own part in it. But at least your wife will know that you did not make up the blackmail bit.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Get the recording. Hire an attorney and tell the attorney the entire thing. Ask the attorney if the recording can be used to prosecute the woman. 

Even if the recording cannot be used to prosecute the women, you can let your wife listen to it. It will most likely help you with your wife. And no one else needs to know that you have the recording.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Where do you and this woman go to have sex?


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

horace said:


> I had clothing on but none show my face so they come across like I'm having sex with her.


Let me get this straight. She is blackmailing you with pictures that don't show your face, you have clothing on, and therefore makes it appear you're having sex?


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## CaliRN13 (Jun 30, 2017)

horace said:


> I've thought about recording her and no I'm not kidding. The issue is that recordings are illegal in my area. I don't want to end up in worse trouble unless a recording can for sure get me out of this.


it is illegal for her to blackmail you. Actually having sex against your will is rape! Take her phone call the police. Have the sex-offender arrested!


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

SunCMars said:


> I know those fish. Not first hand...uh, uh...
> 
> I know them as blips on my fish finder.
> 
> ...


Wow! That was epic.


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## Sly Fox (Jun 6, 2017)

Sorry to say, but you messed up! You should never have had sex with her. What a nasty 400 pound beast she is.


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## Wolfman1968 (Jun 9, 2011)

horace said:


> I really hope I can get some help because I'm completely lost. I fell into a trap and now my life has been turned upside down. One of my close friends got caught cheating on his wife over a year ago. His wife was hurt but decided to stick it out with him. She's extrememly overweight (400+ pounds) and has always had self esteem issues. In the past, she joked about cheating on him to get even but it always came across as a joke. Over the past few months, she made some sexual advances towards me but I always ignored them. Not only am I married, her husband is also my good friend and I could never do that to him. Back in May, I spent the night over their house since I had drunk to much and didn't want to take the chance driving home. I crashed on the couch and went home in the morning. *Later that day, his wife texted me some pictures and apparently, she came in the living room when I was sleeping and took some pictures of her lips close to my private area. Basically, the pictures made it look like we had sex.* Of course this is a blackmail as I was sleep the whole time and did not willingly do any of this. I called her and she said that she will send the pictures out and tell everyone we slept together and the only thing I can do to stop her is to willingly sleep with her.
> 
> I didn't want to do it and I didn't think it through but at the time, it seemed to be the best way to get her off my back. I decided to sleep with her and in exchange, she said she would delete the pictures. Turns out that was a lie and now she has even more pictures. Since then, she has been blackmailing me into sex. She says that if I stop, she will expose to everyone. We've been meeting up for sex 3-4 times per week now. I'm not even attracted to her and was only doing this to save my own marriage and friendship. I'm tired of this and she's made me do some disgusting things that I don't even do with my wife! I know this sounds so far fetched but I promise that I'm in this situation and I've dug myself in a hole that I can't get out of. I've thought about telling her husband but of course he won't believe it and if my wife finds out, she will probably ask for a divorce. I'm lost and need some guidance to get this woman off my back.


OK, how can this be? I mean, if all she has is a picture of your willy near some lips, then how can she prove it was even you? Do you have your name tattooed on your manhood?
And if she included your face in the picture, shouldn't it obviously show that you're asleep?
So I don't get how this is a "blackmail-able" picture?

And by the way, didn't Cartman do something like this to Butters on South Park?


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## Sly Fox (Jun 6, 2017)

This woman is treacherously conniving. She makes Sharon Stone's character in Basic Instinct seem more manageable.


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

400 pounder, repeatedly blackmailing you for Sex... Quite the Whopper we got going here.

Nope, ain't buying this one.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

RWB said:


> *400 pounder, repeatedly blackmailing you for Sex... Quite the Whopper we got going here.
> 
> Nope, ain't buying this one.*


*Nah! I really don't think that Hollywood remotely makes storylines this damned good!*


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Wolfman1968 said:


> OK, how can this be? I mean, if all she has is a picture of your willy near some lips, then how can she prove it was even you? Do you have your name tattooed on your manhood?
> And if she included your face in the picture, shouldn't it obviously show that you're asleep?
> So I don't get how this is a "blackmail-able" picture?
> 
> And by the way, didn't Cartman do something like this to Butters on South Park?


He said later that he was fully clothed. So I don't think his willie was out.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

horace said:


> I really hope I can get some help because I'm completely lost. I fell into a trap and now my life has been turned upside down. One of my close friends got caught cheating on his wife over a year ago. His wife was hurt but decided to stick it out with him. She's extrememly overweight (400+ pounds) and has always had self esteem issues. In the past, she joked about cheating on him to get even but it always came across as a joke. Over the past few months, she made some sexual advances towards me but I always ignored them. Not only am I married, her husband is also my good friend and I could never do that to him. Back in May, I spent the night over their house since I had drunk to much and didn't want to take the chance driving home. I crashed on the couch and went home in the morning. Later that day, his wife texted me some pictures and apparently, she came in the living room when I was sleeping and took some pictures of her lips close to my private area. Basically, the pictures made it look like we had sex. Of course this is a blackmail as I was sleep the whole time and did not willingly do any of this. I called her and she said that she will send the pictures out and tell everyone we slept together and the only thing I can do to stop her is to willingly sleep with her.
> 
> I didn't want to do it and I didn't think it through but at the time, it seemed to be the best way to get her off my back. I decided to sleep with her and in exchange, she said she would delete the pictures. Turns out that was a lie and now she has even more pictures. Since then, she has been blackmailing me into sex. She says that if I stop, she will expose to everyone. We've been meeting up for sex 3-4 times per week now. I'm not even attracted to her and was only doing this to save my own marriage and friendship. I'm tired of this and she's made me do some disgusting things that I don't even do with my wife! I know this sounds so far fetched but I promise that I'm in this situation and I've dug myself in a hole that I can't get out of. I've thought about telling her husband but of course he won't believe it and if my wife finds out, she will probably ask for a divorce. I'm lost and need some guidance to get this woman off my back.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I'm closing this thread because of the types of replies it's getting.


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