# she flirted with a co-worker now it is her single friend!!!



## vader08 (Oct 4, 2010)

by may my wife and i had been dealing with some very stressful issues about my ex-wife and my daughter coming back into our lives. It caused nasty fights, and we are not two to fight with each other. I noticed the coldness, and distance from my wife. The attitude, never wanting to interact, barely interested in sex...We maybe had sex once or twice a month in 5 months. I started noticing her always on her cell phone...always texting. One day I got supspicious which isn't like me, and I got online, and hacked the password to our online cellphone billpay. I looked at her usage, and saw 81 texts to 1 number. My stomach dropped because I knew you don't text someone 81 times in two weeks for nothing. I looked at her contacts list, and was shocked. It was her immediate supervisor, and a guy I had spent time with socially...even went to a ballgame with. He is no comparison to me other then he makes a lot more money. I confronted her when she woke up and asked her point blank. She dropped her head, and said she has been flirting with him for months, and has developed feelings for him. She even told me she didn't know if she wanted to continue the marriage, I wasn't on the same level as her (professionally. They are both nurses), I didn't make enough money, I didn't bring anything to the table, she does everything, I don't clean, I don't cook, I don't shop, etc. I'll admit I don't clean everytime SHE wants something cleaned, and I am no gourmet in the kitchen but I love breakfast. I work, I go to school (also to become a nurse) I'm a father, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't go out partying, I don't socialize with women, I'm not a cheat or a wife beater, etc. The only thing I don't do much is clean, cook, and make a lot of money...yet. I supported her emotionally and partially financially while she went through college, and then started my education. Where was the loyalty? Where is the respect, love, and commitment? I demanded it stop, and I believe it has. Now the problem is a single 42 yr old female friend of hers who she works with who has been my wife's sounding board through all of this since my wife never told me how unhappy she was. This chick is single, 42, former druggie, and has been sleeping with a much younger guy for 6 yrs and always refers to this guy as, "my man!" even though he has said in over 100 ways he will never date her, will never leave his girlfriends for her, and just wants to f*ck her. This chick is the one influencing my wife. She has never wanted to be my friend because I'm everything her lover is not. I give my wife everything her lover will not. My wife has everything she will never have, and I think she is jealous and taking advantage of my wife's pain to lay seeds of doubt in my wife's head because she wants my wife out in the clubs with her as her wingman! She even told my wife I would one day tell her she needed to choose between her family and her friendship and she knew my wife would choose her family...wwwhhhhaaahhhh!!! Heaven forbid a mother and wife choose what really matters in life over a lonely drugged out, manipulative, emotional basketcase. I've liked EVERY friend and co-worker I have met over the last eight years except for her. I wonder why? My wife is really trying to work on the marriage and repair the mistrust but she will never fully reveal what goes on between them two because she doesn't want to validate my suspicions of this woman. She doesn't want me to justify my distaste for this woman any more then I already have because deep down my wife doesn't want to give up the friendship. My wife wants her own space. She wants her own freedom because she says she sometimes feels trapped with the pressures of being a wife and mother; she sometimes wants to run away from her responsibilities. I think she fantasizes about being single with no children again. At first it was this co-worker who she "developed" feelings for. She swears they never slept together or messed around, but She does admit to exchanging texts, flirting, and some pic messages which she says was never sexual (I don't buy that) I don't see how after a few months you wouldn't AT LEAST send something sexually graphic or suggestive. No kissing? No caressing? I actually believe her when she says there was no sex, but this friend of hers knew about it and never said anything to me, and now seems to hate my guts for no reason as I have never attacked her in any way. Now instead of the guy, I'm dealing with a clingy needy psychotic friend!!! Has anyone ever had experiences like this? Can anyone tell me how theirs worked out?


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## BigBadWolf (Nov 30, 2009)

I do not have an experience like this since marriage, but I will say this scenario is a powderkeg.

First, your woman needs to grow up. 

Whether to say in this modern age that it is her responsibility to grow up herself, or to say in my own belief that I would confront my woman to clamp down on this ridiculous behavior with this troublemaker girl friend, regardless, you need to put a stop to it and fast.

A woman running around on her husband, nothing good will come of this. 

She is merely playing the field until the right man that lights her fire comes into view, then it's all over for you.

For the solution, it needs to be very clear that you are the man that will not put up with behavior that is destructive to your marriage, and act on this.

Decide to stand for yourself, even to the point of deciding you would rather send your woman to the curb than to continue to be disrespected in such a way! 

Only when you are to take such a stand, will the possibility be to end these emotional affairs (or worse) and wake your woman up to repairing the marriage.

Now she is not respecting you or the marriage.

This single friend woman of hers, also she is not respecting you to the point of contempt for you for "holding back" her wing man or whatever. 

This single friend woman, she is poison but is merely the symptom. 

THe root is lack of respect from your woman!


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

100% agreement.

Now, for the difficult question.

Are you willing to call the question into view, or are you afraid of what might happen?


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