# The past is over



## Allofasudden I’m 50 (9 mo ago)

Hi ladies,
I thought I would get the most relevant information posting here and the best perspective also.
I just started online dating and am concerned about ultimately what happens when I meet someone and we eventually get romantic. I will get right to the point, I am not well endowed ( less than average at best ) and I do not last long at all. This really has affected me all my life except for my late teens into my early 20’s. This is embarrassing as hell, by my age I should have this figured out, but I have tried almost every trick under the sun to remedy this. I’m looking for real world answers on how you would deal with the situation if you were on the receiving end so to speak. I appreciate the input.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Allofasudden I’m 50 said:


> Hi ladies,
> I thought I would get the most relevant information posting here and the best perspective also.
> I just started online dating and am concerned about ultimately what happens when I meet someone and we eventually get romantic. I will get right to the point, I am not well endowed ( less than average at best ) and I do not last long at all. This really has affected me all my life except for my late teens into my early 20’s. This is embarrassing as hell, by my age I should have this figured out, but I have tried almost every trick under the sun to remedy this. I’m looking for real world answers on how you would deal with the situation if you were on the receiving end so to speak. I appreciate the input.


You have more tools than your penis. Learn to use them and make sure the woman always gets off first (unless she gets too sensitive and you will go back afterward). Also try different positions, angles, and toys - obviously that's easier when you spend more time together and can communicate. 

You should also probably avoid any women who are newly divorced/single and just looking to get laid. 

What have you done to try and remedy the PE? And did you give each a fair shot or just try it once or twice and decide it won't work for you? You really do need to get that figured out, or figure out your refractory period and use that to your advantage if possible. 

Certain anti-depressants are also prescribed off-label for PE issues. Celexa, Lexapro, Zoloft, to name a few. You would need to do some trial and error. Some may help, some may do nothing, and some may wipe out your desire or ability to function all together.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

If there was a lot of foreplay . . . starting with setting the mood, genuine romance, real conversation, paying attention etc. -- along with actual foreplay fingers & tongue -- as well cuddling & connection afterwards, it should be fine. There is more to lovemaking than the main event. 

Serious Qs:

Do you have a short refraction time? If you can go again pretty quickly that might help.

Do you have more staying power for round 2? If so let her know that. One of my EXs was quick on the trigger initially. I selfishly liked that because it made me more willing to pleasure him orally 1st. It was easier & then I got the better end of the deal for the main event. (Never tell him I said that)


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## Allofasudden I’m 50 (9 mo ago)

Thanks for the comments so far, I have tried a few of the anti depressants, one didnt work me and one left me where I was unable to perform at all. As far as my refractory period it is actually pretty short but the same thing happens. It seems that all my energy is focused down there no matter what. Do you think I should express my concerns/ issues to my potential mate prior to the action?


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

If it is really as bad as you fear, then spend some money on counseling with a board certified sex therapist. If it were me and it is as bad as you imply, I would also look at finding a sex therapist who does hypno-therapy.

Good luck. Fix yourself first, develop some confidence, then find someone to love.


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Hey Allofasudden,
Would you say you're higher drive or lower drive? (HD, or LD). 

Yes, there's more to sex than PIV, but that's all good if that's what the lady enjoys/prefers. Personally, I wouldn't want to deal with PE with a new partner, and certainly not in the long term if that's a regular thing. I know that sounds harsh, but my marriage was mostly sexless, so sex is a very high priority for me.

The only additional thing I can suggest is to look for someone who prefers non-PIV sex or is lower drive and doesn't mind your PE and be upfront if sex comes up in conversation. That way, you won't have to deal with someone's in-the-moment reaction. 

I suggest you take up bobert's advice and seek to remedy it, though, so your options won't be too limited.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

Allofasudden I’m 50 said:


> Do you think I should express my concerns/ issues to my potential mate prior to the action?


Heck no. It's always better to ask for forgiveness than permission. Do talk to somebody about your issues. Maybe you can learn to calm yourself. 

Also what may be too short to you may be long enough for her. Don't stir up issues before you know they exist.

Best wishes.


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## Jimmysgirl (9 mo ago)

Didn't read the responses but... what if you take care of business before you meet up? Will that help you last longer? 
I'm very much into the response I get from my guy, it drives me completely wild. His breathing, when he let's out a little moan, when he gets greedy and shows me how bad he wants me. These things are way more important to me than how big he is or how long he lasts. Just make sure you take care of me after your done, ya know?


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

Real world answer:
Practice, practice, practice. Practice delaying your orgasm. Masturbation first, then with your partner. Over some time, your responses will be trained to slow down.


Allofasudden I’m 50 said:


> Do you think I should express my concerns/ issues to my potential mate prior to the action?


Yes. If your potential mate is not willing to share her sexuality with yours and accept you for who you are, get the hell out of that relationship right now. Find a partner who realizes that she is not miss ***** perfect, either. Avoid prima donnas and divas who are selfish about sex.


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