# Oh boy. Another one...torn.



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

I was on Tinder just now, swiping away. I get to a photo of the wife of my good friend and guitar teacher from when I was 13-17 (I'm 39). We're still quite close even though we don't see each other much these days. I still play with him on stage now and again. They're married with 2 kids.

Tinder is explicitly a dating and often straight up hookup site. My sister said "maybe she doesn't know what it is". Nobody creates a Tinder account and is active on it and doesn't know what it's for (it says she's been active). 

Don't know what to do. Maybe they're swingers? That or she's looking to/already has cheat. Damn.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Healer said:


> I was on Tinder just now, swiping away. I get to a photo of the wife of my good friend and guitar teacher from when I was 13-17 (I'm 39). We're still quite close even though we don't see each other much these days. I still play with him on stage now and again. They're married with 2 kids.
> 
> Tinder is explicitly a dating and often straight up hookup site. My sister said "maybe she doesn't know what it is". Nobody creates a Tinder account and is active on it and doesn't know what it's for (it says she's been active).
> 
> Don't know what to do. Maybe they're swingers? That or she's looking to/already has cheat. Damn.


Can you open a free email and send him a link anonymously? I'm not familiar with the way tinder works. Can it be linked?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Dang, that sucks.

I have come across married people I know on there, too. 

They may be swingers... but they may not... 

Some people use it as a couple to find a third person for their bedroom play.

Hope that is the case here (as weird as that's a thing to hope for) because the alternative sucks... 

Are they separated?


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

I don't have his email, but I could open a dummy Facebook account and send him a screencap of her profile and a message explaining.

Tinder pulls photos from your Facebook account and uses your profile pic and first few pix by default. Her profile pic is a family photo of all of them. Now unless you go into your settings and view your profile, you don't know what pic it uses. 

They're not separated.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I am praying they are swingers...for the sake of him. LOL. 

Because if not, ick. That sucks, dude.

I had one guy that I matched with one there... and he told me he was looking for someone to bring into bedroom with his girlfriend. I was like, Nope, I'm good. Delete.

LOL


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

We have a mutual friend who is much closer to him than I am - plays in a band with him. I could discreetly ask him if he knows what's up and just say I was concerned but didn't want to cause trouble...he might be in a better position to make the call than me. Thoughts on that?


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

Print her profile and send it to him via regular mail. Less chance it will be tied to you.


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## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

Why the fear? Why the worry of it being "tied to" you? You're not her friend, but you are his... you send it to him, laughing it off like "Ha! Couldn't believe I accidentally stumbled upon your wife while looking for my next date! No, I didn't hit her up and I assume you're aware of Tinder... wouldn't feel right to just say nothing at all. Hope it all is good. Jam soon?" 

He can ignore, escalate, or respond.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Some just check it out to see what it is and due to the hype around it in the news. If she had family photo on it, it is very likely naive curiosity. I would send an anonymous email anyway just in case.


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

Cheating is bad but a cheater dumb enough to actually use their photos of them self on a dating site it's just downright stupid my advice would be to start email account and email your friend a link to her profile it's simple sweet and to the point and absolves you have any blowback


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

xakulax said:


> Cheating is bad but a cheater dumb enough to actually use their photos of them self on a dating site it's just downright stupid my advice would be to start email account and email your friend a link to her profile it's simple sweet and to the point and absolves you have any blowback


And there has never, ever been a case of someone putting fake accounts up on Tinder, etc?

You need to be very careful here. This might not be what it appears. Your friend and his lady might have a stalker, for example.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

MattMatt said:


> And there has never, ever been a case of someone putting fake accounts up on Tinder, etc?
> 
> You need to be very careful here. This might not be what it appears. Your friend and his lady might have a stalker, for example.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_




This is true and a possibility but it's *more likely she's just having an affair or seeking one* I don't think sitting on this information does anyone any favors quite frankly and I think the honorable and decent thing to do is to let your friend know what is going on in his marriage.


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

Healer if you know this to be a hook up site.....I'm confused here why are you on it ?

Please clarify!

55


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

just got it 55 said:


> Healer if you know this to be a hook up site.....I'm confused here why are you on it ?
> 
> Please clarify!
> 
> 55



He's looking for a hookup?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

just got it 55 said:


> Healer if you know this to be a hook up site.....I'm confused here why are you on it ?
> 
> Please clarify!
> 
> 55



Unless I'm mistaken healer is single and has every right to look for a hookup If he chooses so I really don't see how this has any bearing on the situation or on how it should be handled.


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

just got it 55 said:


> Healer if you know this to be a hook up site.....I'm confused here why are you on it ?
> 
> Please clarify!
> 
> 55


I'm divorced and horny.


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## Justus3 (Oct 18, 2014)

Healer said:


> I'm divorced and horny.


Lol :lol:


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## wmn1 (Aug 27, 2014)

If your friend was a swinger, you would probably know it by now. I am calling a 'cheater' on is one ad I would expose it softly to him. Constructively.


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

Healer said:


> I'm divorced and horny.


Understood I guess I was confused as to why you were concerned about your wife

otherwise have fun

55


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

just got it 55 said:


> Understood I guess I was confused as to why you were concerned about your wife
> 
> otherwise have fun
> 
> 55


I didn't see anything about his wife, or ex wife. It's about his friend's wife.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Tell your friend.


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## The Cro-Magnon (Sep 30, 2012)

For anyone tech savvy enough to have a facebook account with at least 50 friends, to claim they are ignorant as to what Tinder is is absolutely laughable.

It even ADVERTIZES itself as a hook up app.

It is spread by WORD OF MOUTH as an easy way to get sex.

"Oh, I was just visiting the brothel to make friends honey"

LOL

OP, why is this even a question, why have you not told your friend already? His wife is looking for other men with a hook up app. It is that simple. 

I imagine the Sistahood will descend in force soon to justify her being on tinder, and to tell OP to mind his own business and not tell his friend that his wife is a cheat.


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## imjustwatching (Jul 8, 2014)

tell your friend man ,


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

xakulax said:


> Unless I'm mistaken healer is single and has every right to look for a hookup If he chooses so I really don't see how this has any bearing on the situation or on how it should be handled.


Yup sorry I just re read the first post

as Rosanna Rosanadana would say

Never Mind

55


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