# I'm a doormat!!



## DameEdna (Aug 26, 2009)

Hia, my hubby works a lot of hours, he has a well paid job and gets quite stressed and very focused with work. He's pretty much said to me that he can't deal with stuff our (18 year old) daughter throws at us at the moment. 

Lovely kid, fun, sociable, lively, well liked. We love her to pieces and would lay our lives on the line for her......

But she's also scatterbrained, disorganised, never saves money, untidy and takes us WELL AND TRULY FOR GRANTED!!!

But it's our own fault. We nag her to pay for petrol when she uses my car (which she does A LOT) sometimes she might put a fiver in here and there! She's dented the car, broke the wing mirror a couple of times. She's lost our best camera which WE'VE had to replace (she did give us £50 towards it but that was only under protest) It's one thing after another.....

..... and we just follow along quietly putting things right, paying for more petrol, continuing to let her use the car even though she makes false promises, or even refuses point blank to fill it up because "she's not got any money!" 

Hubby and I will complain and moan to each other, if we say anything to her, she has all the "right" answers. She seems to go out a LOT to avoid us which is sad and I feel hurt and offended by this.

We have a holiday abroad coming up, the four of us (including her 16 yr old brother) Whilst I don't want to ruin our holiday (I'm honoured the kids still want to come with us... .tho we are paying) I feel we have some time, the 4 of us, to sort something out.....

..... How can we do that on neutral territory without falling out?

And How the hell can I stop being such a doormat:scratchhead:


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## Cogo123 (Jan 5, 2012)

I do believe its the age of your child and how much we let them get away with things. I have an 18 yr old son.
We go thru a lot of the same situations, or we did, until we stopped and told him you are an adult and we aren't going to be able to keep giving you things. Its tough to say that to them and watch them struggle through little things like no gas $ or no $ do the little things they are used to. We seen our son go through changes and struggles. He got a job at the local super store. He now knows what it means to earn a paycheck and what it takes to own your own car & pay insurance. If you don't push them a little she will forever be dependent on you and not know the meaning of earning her own money. 
The problem for us now is to stop his grandma from giving him $! Good luck with your daughter. It seems like your husband doesn't want to be bothered. You may have to be the bad guy in this siutation and confront her but she will come to respect you and what you are trying to do for her.
Just let your husband know your intentions and he should work with you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Just say no. No, you can't borrow the car. No, you can't use our things.

You are enabling her to treat you this way. Tell her no.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

If she's using your car, she should return it to you in perfect condition and with a full gas tank. It's only fair.


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

I'm going to present you a word that does wonders for teens. It's something of a professional trick, so it's really hardcore. Whenever they pass the marks you want them in you say:

NO

Try in once in a while. Specially when she asks for stuff and money. At that age she should not have those attitudes at all.


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