# Texting & Dating



## Jellybeans

Article was written for women but I find the descriptions could easily be be swapped with genders.

What do you guys think of this list and the assumptions?

_*Reading between the lines*

Texting has become one of the most popular forms of communication and can tell you a lot more about a guy's personality than you may realize. I've had several years of experience translating text messages from men. Here are a few things to look for.

*The one and done*
If a guy texts you, you text him back and then the conversation is over, he's not boyfriend material. He's using texting much like a fly fisherman uses a rod and a fly. He's casting out as many different things as possible to catch someone. He may also be bored, or worse, in constant need of attention. If this happens frequently, you are in a texting relationship with a player.

*The serial texter*
This guy is formulating his response before you even get done with yours. He's a rapid fire texter. This could mean a couple of things. It may just mean he's kind of lonely. It could mean he really likes you. But it could also mean he's annoying as hell. The way to tell is if he's considerate of your schedule before he launches into one of his texting dissertations. Does he start with, "Hey what are you doin'?" or "Is this a good time?" If he does that, it means he's polite and just really enjoys communicating with you. Just make sure he's not…

*The exclusive texter*
When you are dating (or considering dating) someone, texting can be a fun and safe way to "get to know someone." But there comes a point, relatively early in the relationship, where a guy has to be comfortable calling you or actually seeing you in person. These phone conversations don't have to be verbal strolls down the beach (although some women like that) — they can just be him checking in to say "hi" and to make plans for later in the week. Hearing his voice is nice and knowing he is capable of verbal communication is important. If you have an exclusive texter, he may have confidence issues or he may just be lazy.
*
The charmer*
We love us a charmer, don't we ladies? Show me a woman who doesn't love getting the, "Hey beautiful. Just thinking about you" text and I'll show you a woman with no pulse. If a guy does this randomly, at a respectable hour, he's probably a well-intended man who is interested in you. If it's your long-term boyfriend or husband who is texting you like that, you're a lucky woman. Note: If a guy texts you this at 3:00 a.m., it's a booty call.

*The reluctant texter*
Is there anything more aggravating than trying to have some texting fun with a hot guy you are digging and he won't play along? How infuriating, right? If you are texting a guy who only texts every third day or so, and then stops texting after a few exchanges, he's stringing you along. He likes to keep his options open. He doesn't want to ignore you entirely, but he's not that interested either. I hate to be this blunt, but this guy is a cheater. He wants you, but he wants someone else too. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

*The no-texter*
If you reach out to a guy more than once and he doesn't text you back, it doesn't reveal a personality trait so much as it tells you he's not feeling it.

If you text this guy more than once, be warned — you're "that girl." Yep, sorry. You're a Stage 5 cling-on that the guy is complaining to his friends about. Since we kind of beat up the boys a little bit, we should touch on how not to become "that girl."

Make sure that whoever is initiating the texting conversation is equal. In other words, if you are always starting the conversation, you're probably "that girl." End the conversation reasonably. Go back and forth seven to 10 times, max. Be the one who "has to go." Example: "It was so much fun hearing from you! I know you're busy and I have to get back to work. Let's catch up again soon." You are being polite, but you are the one ducking out. Guys hate it when women text relentlessly or have to have the last word._

Source: Text messages: Hidden clues about his personality


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## Married but Happy

I don't think I want to join the modern world if I have to think about interpreting texts! I only text to make or confirm plans when timing is more critical than using email. Or, I may actually call and _talk _to them! And if I want a 3am booty call, I'll roll over in bed and wake her up - nicely!


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## Jellybeans

Married, I get that, but that is why I posted this in TAM's "Life after divorce/Dating" section. It's relevant to us/the people in this section of the forum.

Lol.


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## Married but Happy

Ah! I seldom notice which section, as I usually just look at New Posts. But even when I was dating while separated, I avoided texting. If I'm ever in that position again (please god, no!), I hope my advanced age will be an excuse to avoid texting.


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## happy as a clam

I pretty much agree with the assessment on the list.

When my marriage was falling apart, I encountered a "Charmer Texter." He was a single, long-time friend of the family who saw an opportunity to move in for the kill. He had always been kind of flirty, but I never gave him the time of day.

The author of the article is spot-on with her descriptions. I got the "Hey Beautiful, thinking of you, hate that you're going through this" texts, as well as the "When this is over, I want to be first in line" text. Really? Are you effing kidding me?

I finally sent him a :wtf: text!!

His texts stopped.

:rofl::lol:


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## Fenix

I do think it is generation dependent.


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## Twistedheart

Hopefully I never date a woman I really like who puts that much thought into someone's texting style...seems really shallow.

Except for the obvious retarded texts like happy as a clam has shown, which I would never do.


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## COguy

I just send d*ck pics.....


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## Jellybeans

I told you to stop doing that!


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## Twistedheart

lmao


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## Pamvhv

Honestly, this was helpful to me in so many ways. I hate the texting thing.


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## COguy

Jellybeans said:


> I told you to stop doing that!


I guess I am just looking for the girl that can appreciate the depth and emotions of my manhood. It's got so much character and passion, and selflessness. I'm on this spiritual mission, I need to find the right lady. The woman who will receive my picture and boldly proclaim, "I GET IT! I understand you and your appendage! Let's meet up for coffee and talk about life!"

I thought that might be you....Does that make me wrong? If so, I don't want to be right.

I won't rest until I find my soulmate.


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## firebelly1

Here's what I've discovered about texting: it can be deceptively informal. You meet someone online. You move to emailing. Then you move to texting. Lots of witty banter / sexy talk and then when you finally meet in person there's ZERO chemistry. Awkward. Lesson learned: meet the person as soon as you can. Avoid the temptation of sexting until after you meet. Okay. Maybe this is just me.


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## COguy

firebelly1 said:


> Here's what I've discovered about texting: it can be deceptively informal. You meet someone online. You move to emailing. Then you move to texting. Lots of witty banter / sexy talk and then when you finally meet in person there's ZERO chemistry. Awkward. Lesson learned: meet the person as soon as you can. Avoid the temptation of sexting until after you meet. Okay. Maybe this is just me.


Wow I really enjoyed our intimate encounter over my touchscreen Android devi...........OH MY GOD you're ugly and boring.

We were just talking about this on the online dating thread. Assume someone is boring and ugly and socially inept until you can confirm in person. I always set up a really quick first date, with a solid plan right after that. If things aren't going well, I'm only involved for about an hour and have a solid excuse to leave. If things are going well, I'm leaving her wanting more.


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## firebelly1

BTW CO...a rugby player never has to send d*ck pics. I mean...you CAN and they will be appreciated. But your ass alone has hours of entertainment value.


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## ne9907

COguy said:


> Wow I really enjoyed our intimate encounter over my touchscreen Android devi...........OH MY GOD you're ugly and boring.
> 
> We were just talking about this on the online dating thread. Assume someone is boring and ugly and socially inept until you can confirm in person. I always set up a really quick first date, with a solid plan right after that. If things aren't going well, I'm only involved for about an hour and have a solid excuse to leave. If things are going well, I'm leaving her wanting more.


:rofl:
I am always better at texting, but I totally agree on that statement. I am actually upfront with everyone, I tell them I am boring, quiet, and reserve. 
I also tell them not to have any high expectations because they will be sorely dissapointed.

I have no game at all


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## COguy

ne9907 said:


> :rofl:
> I am always better at texting, but I totally agree on that statement. I am actually upfront with everyone, I tell them I am boring, quiet, and reserve.
> I also tell them not to have any high expectations because they will be sorely dissapointed.
> 
> I have no game at all


Yeah that's not a good idea...self-deprecation is ok as a joke, and a one off, but lack of confidence is a big turn off.


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## Pamvhv

I'm just like why the hell can't we just text what we feel. 

Here's my recent texting.

Me: Are you going to be at the bar tonight? (we all go to the same place)
Him: Maybe. 

Seven hours later.

Him: Are you there?
Me: We are.
Him: Cool. 
Me: Are you here?
Him: I'm outside.
Me: We see you (we were outside)
Him: Who is we?


He knew I was going with a friend. Also we met via this friend! Then it was great in the bar. He was attentive and he hinted a lot. Three separate hints on not having a gf and wanting one.

Now? Haven't heard from him since Tuesday.

So confusing.


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## COguy

Pamvhv said:


> I'm just like why the hell can't we just text what we feel.
> 
> Here's my recent texting.
> 
> Me: Are you going to be at the bar tonight? (we all go to the same place)
> Him: Maybe.
> 
> Seven hours later.
> 
> Him: Are you there?
> Me: We are.
> Him: Cool.
> Me: Are you here?
> Him: I'm outside.
> Me: We see you (we were outside)
> Him: Who is we?
> 
> 
> He knew I was going with a friend. Also we met via this friend! Then it was great in the bar. He was attentive and he hinted a lot. Three separate hints on not having a gf and wanting one.
> 
> Now? Haven't heard from him since Tuesday.
> 
> So confusing.


Sounds like he's not that into you.


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## Pamvhv

COguy said:


> Sounds like he's not that into you.


See that's what I would think. Which would be fine. I'm not sure I'm all that into him. Except he's all different in person.


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## Jellybeans

COguy said:


> I thought that might be you....Does that make me wrong? If so, I don't want to be right.


:rofl: 



firebelly1 said:


> Lesson learned: meet the person as soon as you can.


:iagree: 100%


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## Jellybeans

COguy said:


> Sounds like he's not that into you.


Agree. The "maybe" and 7 hours to respond and then all cryptic texting you at the bar. And no word from him since earlier this week. 

I say don't take him too seriously and flirt with him when you want some fun banter.


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## ne9907

Pamvhv said:


> See that's what I would think. Which would be fine. I'm not sure I'm all that into him. Except he's all different in person.


Maybe he is this:



Jellybeans said:


> *The reluctant texter*
> Is there anything more aggravating than trying to have some texting fun with a hot guy you are digging and he won't play along? How infuriating, right? If you are texting a guy who only texts every third day or so, and then stops texting after a few exchanges, he's stringing you along. He likes to keep his options open. He doesn't want to ignore you entirely, but he's not that interested either.


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## Jellybeans

Yep, Ne.


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## Pamvhv

Jellybeans said:


> Yep, Ne.


So helpful. I'll use him for banter.


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## vi_bride04

Jellybeans said:


> *The exclusive texter*
> When you are dating (or considering dating) someone, texting can be a fun and safe way to "get to know someone." But there comes a point, relatively early in the relationship, where a guy has to be comfortable calling you or actually seeing you in person. These phone conversations don't have to be verbal strolls down the beach (although some women like that) — they can just be him checking in to say "hi" and to make plans for later in the week. Hearing his voice is nice and knowing he is capable of verbal communication is important. If you have an exclusive texter, he may have confidence issues or he may just be lazy.


This was EXACTLY the last guy I tried to "date". Strictly text, no phone calls, and saw each other only once every 2-3 weeks.


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## Lordhavok

texting is killing romance


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## ne9907

Hmm
I am in a very casual thing atm, I am thinking these texting rules do not apply right?


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## Pamvhv

As someone that their livelihood comes from the internet and tech I hate tech so much right now.


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## Jellybeans

vi_bride04 said:


> This was EXACTLY the last guy I tried to "date". Strictly text, no phone calls, and saw each other only once every 2-3 weeks.


Ah, yes. The ones who go "ghost" between weeks/months.


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## Jellybeans

I have a friend who is the "serial texter." I send one text and she fires a flurry of them back...and keeps going and going. And when I try to respond, it freezes up my phone because of her incoming ones. Annoying!


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## firebelly1

Lordhavok said:


> texting is killing romance


In some respects I see that. But being able to text sweet nothings to your beloved is pretty cool. Building the sexual tension by texting each other naughty messages, also cool.


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## Morgiana

firebelly1 said:


> In some respects I see that. But being able to text sweet nothings to your beloved is pretty cool. Building the sexual tension by texting each other naughty messages, also cool.


Texting each other porn is also 100% great


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## Wolf1974

Ok I wouldn't put much stock in that personally. I never owned a smart phone or texted anyone until 3 years ago after I got divorced. Once dating again all these women I would meet wanted to text...this was an issue as my little flip phone wouldn't keep up lol.

Over thinking anything is not good. Some people text more than others. I don't txt often with my Gf but we see each other every night so no need. I have been known to jump on rants with friends through text. 


The only hard and fast rule I have found about texting is don't ever carry on an important conversation through text. Way to much can be misinterpreted.


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