# Moving on



## MoUnit (Jul 9, 2015)

I started posting here over a year ago. I thought my marriage was over then. I know my marriage is over now. Have been married a little over 20 years, i thought he was the love of my life. So much to tell and so much to remember. But, after 20 years and him leaving me 4 times, I finally realized that I couldn't beg and plead for him to come back.
One might think that I am a woman who can't take care of herself. Quite the opposite, I was the breadwinner in the family; retired from the military as a higher ranking officer. And now I am losing 40% of my retirement to a man who repeatedly lied to me and lived a pretty good life. I don't blame him completely, because I know I let it happen. It just so happened when he left me for the 3rd time, I found a younger man who found me attractive and I gave in to my needs. Not proud at all. Come to find out that my "husband" was on Match.com as divorced and hooking up with other women. Unfortunately, the younger man I was with gave me a "special" gift- chlamydia. I know, I am a nurse and I should know to be careful....but this isn't the 80's anymore. I was just dumb. 
so...my husband and i got back together again.... and then I learned that i may have been exposed, sure enough, I was. I don't know to this day if my husband was ever positive, but I did the huge walk of shame and got medication for him, just in case.
He ended up forgiving me, we got back together and things seemed good. All of sudden, he couldn't forgive me and I was a sLVt and a ***** and every bad name he could call me.
So, here I am, like many of you, looking for support and wondering how our lives ended up this way


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Life often makes no sense.

When he left you all those times, how long was he gone? 

Did he work all those years you were married to him?


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

I agree with you Mo.....

I feel I am in this surreal fog. Not quite believing how life is playing out. I was married fro 25 years and my husband decided he was no longer "in love" with me. I learned, later he was in an affair. He regrets walking away. 

Now, I am into a 3 years roller-coaster of a marriage and soon to be divorced again. He relapsed with drugs/escorts and anger towards me. 

Strong people remain strong through the storms. You seem like a strong person and it will be ok. 20 years is a long time....be proud of that number as many don't make it anymore. We all make mistakes. The point is to learn from them and not repeat!


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## DanielleBennett (Oct 9, 2015)

That's tough for sure hun. Separation, divorce, even fights with significant others can leave your head clouded and you wondering what went wrong. Especially after 20 years of marriage. Was he on Match.com while you two were together or no? From what I read, sounds like you were with the younger man when he left you for a while. You should forgive yourself for that. People make mistakes and we should all move on from then and learn to not do them again.


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