# Instagram models



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

Do you believe its disrespectful for a husband to keep ***following hot instagram "models" or wanna-bes with hot pictures?

How would you react?

I deleted and we had an argument long ago, but i had to go behind his back and delete again and aagain, but im just tired to have any talk about it.

(And dont come talking "his privacy bla bla". I dont care about hia privacy. If any husband wants privacy, then he can start by washing his own socks and underwear, do his dishes, cook his food and clean his bathroom. After that we can TALK about privacy 🙄)


----------



## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

I think it’s totally disrespectful. If you guys together enjoyed checking out those hot people then it’s cool but obviously that isn’t the case. I guess it would be on a per marriage basis how to handle that stuff. For some it’s “who cares” while for others it’s “ultimate sin”.


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

moon7 said:


> Dp you believe its disrespectful for a husband to keep adding hot instagram "models" or wanna-bes with hot pictures?


Yes.

I like looking at hot women in bikinis but I try and avoid looking at them unless it is my wife. She really needs to wear bikinis more.

On my Instagram I do have a couple of women who compete in bikini contests but I know them IRL from my gym and my wife has met them IRL and I don’t like or reply or DM them other than encouragement on their training.

Especially on any social media where the people or entities he follows is public information, for example if someone follows you back (like your boss) and they can see you follow a bunch of e-thots, not a good look.

I have unfollowed some women professional chess players because they posted oddly sexual content and I didn’t want it on my feed.


----------



## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

I wouldn’t like it at all. And why is it so important to him that he has to do it knowing it makes his wife mad?


----------



## OnTheRocks (Sep 26, 2011)

The vast majority of men love to look at beautiful women, and for most that's as far as it goes. You're kidding yourself if you think they're not looking. If just looking really bothers you that much, I suggest dating women. However, DMing, commenting, and other creeper behavior is a different matter and totally not okay. Just my very limited experience, but the women I've been with who had a huge issue with looking had low self esteem.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Looking and appreciating beauty? No. Filling your gallery with pictures of same? Very disrespectful


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

Girl_power said:


> I wouldn’t like it at all. And why is it so important to him that he has to do it knowing it makes his wife mad?



I have ZERO idea why.

He doesnt even talk to them or anything.

Ad he knows it makes me upset. I even excluded and unfollowed his instagram from mine because of it back then.

This week ive found he followed 2 of those again.

Im meh!!! Tired.


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

OnTheRocks said:


> The vast majority of men love to look at beautiful women, and for most that's as far as it goes. You're kidding yourself if you think they're not looking. If just looking really bothers you that much, I suggest dating women. However, DMing, commenting, and other creeper behavior is a different matter and totally not okay. Just my very limited experience, but the women I've been with who had a huge issue with looking had low self esteem.


Im not talking about looking (but it does bother me), im talking about following them. Especially after 2020 when i gained 20pounds from stress eating (two small kids, pandamics, low money and stuff, no seep bc one kid had night panic), i dont have self esteem for it not bother me.


----------



## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

Yes it's disrespectful.

What does he say?
Is he sneaking? or does he simply disagree with your assessment?


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Yes it's disrespectful.


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

So the one I maybe not so sneakily do is I buy lingerie for my wife frequently. They happen to email me ads, promotions, etc… and I see it in my email inbox and say no… no I will not open this and… then next thing I know I opened it and bought my wife some new pieces.

So I didn’t mean to look but they sent it to me, so I channeled that energy back into her and every once in a while she treats me by breaking something out and wearing it. Wow!

My wife is pretty confident about her body and such and isn’t intimidated by models and really doesn’t care what I do, but I do agree it is disrespectful and certainly I wouldn’t want to be having my follower list on any social media containing a bunch of bikini clad women. For that matter, I look at my Instagram often in public where I wouldn’t want bikini models to be popping up on the screen. It’s a bad look.


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

Anastasia6 said:


> Yes it's disrespectful.
> 
> What does he say?
> Is he sneaking? or does he simply disagree with your assessment?


Nothing, really haha

He was not into instagram, but when he did it he imediatelly started following got "models" (some more famous and some wanna be with sexual pictures who lived nearby), i complained here and there, until we had an argument with me asking if he did an instagram only to follow them and that it was disrespectful to me bla bla. It was long ago.

How can i manage it?

Im not cold blooded to know and do nothing.


----------



## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

moon7 said:


> Dp you believe its disrespectful for a husband to keep adding hot instagram "models" or wanna-bes with hot pictures?
> 
> How would you react?
> 
> ...


I think it’s kind of pathetic really. 

Not because it’s disrespectful to you (which I agree it kind of is), but more so because it’s just pathetic for a man to be following vapid THOTs (er I mean Instagram models) on the internet, who they will never meet, thirstily giving them free attention, and validation, and clicks, and sometimes money, and getting what in return? A bikini pic or maybe an occasional boob shot?

It just says loser to me.


----------



## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

what is a "Dp"?


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

moon7 said:


> I deleted and we had an argument long ago, but i had to go behind his back and delete again and aagain, but im just tired to have any talk about it.
> 
> (And dont come talking "his privacy bla bla". I dont care about hia privacy. If any husband wants privacy, then he can start by washing his own socks and underwear, do his dishes, cook his food and clean his bathroom. After that we can TALK about privacy 🙄)


Why are you deleting them?

Are you his mommy throwing away the Playboys stashed under his bed?

He’s a grown man and knows his wife doesn’t like him drooling over 19 year hussyies. 

Yet he’s doing it anyway. You tell me if that is respectful and you tell me if that is the behavior you want out of a husband and supposed grown man. 

So yeah, if he wants to spend his time and money on spank material, that’s his business and socks, underwear and bathroom can all be his business as well.


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

moon7 said:


> Dp you believe its disrespectful for a husband to keep adding hot instagram "models" or wanna-bes with hot pictures?
> 
> How would you react?
> 
> ...


I think it's both disrespectful and inconsiderate. He knows how you feel about it, yet doesn't care about your feelings enough to adjust his behavior.

I know you said you guys have financial issues, so it may not be possible to do anything he'll pay attention to without financial repercussions. He's behaving like a single thirsty male, not a grown man. He might be having a mid-life crisis or whatever, but he's behaving like a boy who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Do you want to keep having to look over your shoulder and discipline him? There's no nice way to address this.



OnTheRocks said:


> The vast majority of men love to look at beautiful women, and for most that's as far as it goes. You're kidding yourself if you think they're not looking. If just looking really bothers you that much, I suggest dating women. However, DMing, commenting, and other creeper behavior is a different matter and totally not okay. *Just my very limited experience, but the women I've been with who had a huge issue with looking had low self esteem.*


No one says you can't look, but if you want to pull this crap, best be single. Maybe OP should start following a bunch of muscled half-naked men on Instagram too and liking all their provocative pics, see how he likes dem apples.

Btw, you truly must have very limited experience with women, because most would punt you instead of dealing with immature shenanigans, or drool over men in front of you to give you a dose of your medicine. It's way easier for women to get sex than men, btw, so who do you think would win that stupid game?

I'm glad I haven't men "most men" like this, most men I've met are decent enough and fairly respectable to keep that **** on the down low.


----------



## ElOtro (Apr 4, 2021)

Anastasia6 said:


> Yes it's disrespectful.





Diana7 said:


> Yes it's disrespectful.


Yes it's disrespectful


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

moon7 said:


> Dp you believe its disrespectful for a husband to keep adding hot instagram "models" or wanna-bes with hot pictures?
> 
> How would you react?
> 
> ...


I would follow models at one point on Instagram for a very short time. I never hid it and as soon my wife said something about it, I thought WTF am I doing and deleted Instagram all together. 

It is disrespectful to keep doing it after you clearly told him that it crosses one of you boundaries and is unacceptable. Have you done that in a calm, but serious manner? Does he have any other issues, like porn maybe? Everything else in the marriage okay?


----------



## ElwoodPDowd (Aug 25, 2021)

moon7 said:


> Dp you believe its disrespectful for a husband to keep adding hot instagram "models" or wanna-bes with hot pictures?


Nope, I don't think it's important.
My wife is welcome to look at guys in bathing costumes if she wants, doesn't bother me.

When we're watching movies and TV shows, should we avert our eyes when the sex scenes pop up?
Should I look away when the dancers appear in pop videos?


----------



## ElwoodPDowd (Aug 25, 2021)

TXTrini said:


> No one says you can't look, but if you want to pull this crap, best be single. Maybe OP should start following a bunch of muscled half-naked men on Instagram too and liking all their provocative pics, see how he likes dem apples.


Wouldn't bother me one bit.


----------



## ElwoodPDowd (Aug 25, 2021)

moon7 said:


> Im not talking about looking (but it does bother me), im talking about following them. Especially after 2020 when i gained 20pounds from stress eating (two small kids, pandamics, low money and stuff, no seep bc one kid had night panic), i dont have self esteem for it not bother me.


Wouldn't it be better for you to work on yourself?
Isn't gaining 20lbs disrespectful to your partner?


----------



## uphillbattle (Aug 17, 2011)

ElwoodPDowd said:


> Wouldn't it be better for you to work on yourself?
> Isn't gaining 20lbs disrespectful to your partner?


You are such a treasure.


----------



## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

ElwoodPDowd said:


> Wouldn't it be better for you to work on yourself?
> Isn't gaining 20lbs disrespectful to your partner?


Your a complete loser. You have ended up in life exactly where you belong ..... bitter and cold.


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

ElwoodPDowd said:


> Wouldn't bother me one bit.


I imagine you're used to it, considering how you described your wife and yourself. Good for you!


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

ElwoodPDowd said:


> Wouldn't it be better for you to work on yourself?
> Isn't gaining 20lbs disrespectful to your partner?


If he stays with the kids so i can exercise once in awhile (i ALWAYS enjoyed sports) i would probably lose some of my 165 for my 5,4 and go back in shape. I dont complain about his weight, though.

Im over my old weight, but not THAT overweight.

I can better myself, but with a 1 and a 4 year old im pretty busy.

ANYWAYS, you went outside the question and i can feel your bitterness from here. I wqsnt talking to you or bitter toward you, no need for this.


----------



## moulinyx (May 30, 2019)

He needs to be a normal guy and look without following. Men do this but he can at least attempt to shield you from his creepy ogling of women he will never meet.


----------



## ElwoodPDowd (Aug 25, 2021)

moon7 said:


> If he stays with the kids so i can exercise once in awhile (i ALWAYS enjoyed sports) i would probably lose some of my 165 for my 5,4 and go back in shape. I dont complain about his weight, though.


I find it really hard to lose weight just through exercise.
Cycled 20Km this morning, using a little over an hour, only 600Kcals, that's 1/2 a Big Mac combo.
The only way I can lose my extra weight is by eating less, doesn't take any time, doesn't cost me any money.
It's not easy, but if you put in a little effort and a lot of determination, it's worthwhile for your self esteem.

You can't change your husband's behaviour, but you might be able to make him a little more secretive. You can only change you.

Sorry if my previous post seemed a little insensitive, I could have worded it better.


----------



## Ms. Hawaii (Mar 28, 2018)

QUOTE="moon7, post: 20382174, member: 58060"]Dp you believe its disrespectful for a husband to keep adding hot instagram "models" or wanna-bes with hot pictures?
)[/QUOTE]


Nope. 

QUOTE="moon7, post: 20382174, member: 58060"]

How would you react?

)[/QUOTE]

I would check them out with him. To be fair, I workout 6 days a week and I’m fit. I think it bothers you because you don’t like the way you look. I’m not trying to be mean. Just offering a different perspective. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Husband2016 (May 27, 2018)

In a general sense, no, it’s 100% not disrespectful. We all have people we are attracted to, even if it’s not our spouse. It’s unreasonable for one to assume the single person on God’s green earth we can be attracted to is our partner. That’s just jealousy. I speak to my spouse about our celebrity “passes” as a joke. I know they’re attracted to that person. But it’s harmless all being said. 

In a specific sense, it depends on reasonable circumstances. Does the other person KNOW this bothers you? If so, a talk should happen. There’s got to be some leeway. That’s just the reality. If they know and do it anyway, then yes, that’s disrespectful. If they do it behind your back and try to be sneaky/hide it, that’s disrespectful.


----------



## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

moon7 said:


> Dp you believe its disrespectful for a husband to keep adding hot instagram "models" or wanna-bes with hot pictures?


No



> How would you react?


I would be indifferent.



> I deleted and we had an argument long ago, but i had to go behind his back and delete again and aagain, but im just tired to have any talk about it.


If I were married to you, I would tell you "I like it, I am not going to stop doing what I like, and you should feel free to do as you like as well". How you would take that is entirely up to you of course, since people should be free to do as they like (as long as it's adult, consenting and legal). In the same way I don't tell my wife what she can or can't do, I don't humour my wife telling me what to do either. So my wife and I are married because we continue to choose to be. For us there is no compulsion in our marriage.

That said going back to the hypothetical, if I were your spouse and you deleted things without my permission. I would remove any access you have to all of my devices and usernames etc. And I would also literally tell you to "**** off, and leave my stuff alone" (as I would to anyone doing that). Since as far as I am concerned one forfeits access privileges, if they cannot be trusted to not delete or destroy things without explicit and specific consent.



> (And dont come talking "his privacy bla bla". I dont care about hia privacy. If any husband wants privacy, then he can start by washing his own socks and underwear, do his dishes, cook his food and clean his bathroom. After that we can TALK about privacy 🙄)


As to privacy, I'm all for sharing. And do so generously with my wife, because she continues to behave in a manner that affords both of us my trust.

On chores my wife and I both take turns sharing washing, dishes, cooking and cleaning. Since that is just something that needs doing that we both share responsibility for, with neither of us being each others servants.

If you don't want to wash your husbands underwear, then don't. On the other hand if you do want to wash his underwear, then do. It's that easy, so on and so on.



TXTrini said:


> I think it's both disrespectful and inconsiderate. He knows how you feel about it, yet doesn't care about your feelings enough to adjust his behavior.


That is an interesting perspective, since my wife and I share the opposite perspective. Where we both find it is disrespectful and inconsiderate to expect and or demand that sexual partners ought to change to conform to their partner/s wants.

My wife and I accept each other as we are, knowing it is poor form to expect the other to be someone they are not. While being cognisant that it is a fools errand, to think that one can make somebody be someone they are not.

Likewise using your logic the same could also be said that moon7 is disrespectful and inconsiderate of her husband, and doesn't care enough about his feelings to adjust her behaviour.

It is worth understanding that great marital relationships, aren't built upon wanting ones spouse to behave as if they were someone else.

At the end of the day if if someone wants their spouse to behave like someone else. Then they would do well to divorce them, so that they are better placed to find someone else who may be closer to who they actually desire as a partner.



> Do you want to keep having to look over your shoulder and discipline him? There's no nice way to address this.


Yes she would do well to get over herself, and address her own insecurities, rather than project them onto him. Or of course instead end her marriage, if she is unwilling to accept her husband as the man he actually is.



> No one says you can't look, but if you want to pull this crap, best be single. Maybe OP should start following a bunch of muscled half-naked men on Instagram too and liking all their provocative pics, see how he likes dem apples.


Who made you the arbiter of who ought to be married or not?

Since although I'm not @OnTheRocks, I'm 25 years and 3 months into a splendid ongoing sexual relationship with my wife, (who I've been happily married to for 21 years and almost 5 months.

As to looking at half naked (or even naked) men, I don't see how that ought to be an issue either. Some men are great to look at, so she should feel free as anyone else to enjoy such sights as she likes.

As an aside, I have a bookshelf full of books in the bedroom I share with my wife. That is filled with picture books featuring adult; pin ups, erotica, hardcore pornography and nudity. Also as someone who produces nude and erotic art amongst other illustrative and photographic work. I have clothed female models, nude male and female models, and women sex workers, pus two brothels (one many hours drive away and the other overseas), follow me on some social media and I follow some of them back as well. Especially the ones who I have paid to model for me or they have paid for me to depict them (as encouraged by my wonderful wife).



> Btw, you truly must have very limited experience with women, because most would punt you instead of dealing with immature shenanigans, or drool over men in front of you to give you a dose of your medicine. It's way easier for women to get sex than men, btw, so who do you think would win that stupid game?


I've had plenty of women as sexual partners including two marriages, one other longer term relationship, and several shorter ones. That said admittedly I have never been with any women from North America. Yet I have been with women from various countries in Britain, North Western Europe, Eastern Europe, South America, East Asia, South East Asia the Mediterranean, Southern Africa and Australia.

Of which none had an issue with my liking pornography, erotica and nudity. In my experience owning what I enjoy, not being shy about it, not hiding it and not being anything but true to myself, has seen the women I have been with be perfectly fine with it.

In my experience if a man acts like such things are shameful, his interest in such things will be treated as shameful by his sexual partners. On the other hand if a man chooses not to be apologetic about such things, they often find themselves with sexual partners who will accept and or embrace such things as well.

And the same also applies to women, be true to yourself and don't be ashamed of being who you are, however you are.



> I'm glad I haven't men "most men" like this, most men I've met are decent enough and fairly respectable to keep that **** on the down low.


It's probably very difficult for moon7's husband to keep it on the down low, with a wife who is looking for it so that she can have reasons to be upset about it. Perhaps she would do well to, stop looking for it. Or if that isn't satisfactory for her, then she should feel free to divorce him.


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

I am curious why you care so much about your husband just looking at pictures of attractive women. If he isn't interacting with them in any way, simping for them, or spending money on them, what's the big deal? I think the bigger issue here is you logging into his IG account and controlling what he can and cannot see by deleting people he follows online.


----------



## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

I don't understand nor care to understand this "following" ******** thing. I just ask why do people need to validate their **** by "following" someone? I think of myself as a leader rather than a "follower". 
I guess is true that the masses are lemmings "following" while the few lead. 
Imagine how stupid it is to virtually follow someone that you don't know nor never will.
Now on the topic of looking at pictures of hot women, if I want to watch I do, period. If my wife were to object (she doesn't), I would put a stop to her nagging immediately. I could care less if I'm deemed a male chauvinistic pig. Also if she were to want to look at pictures of naked men, she can go ahead. I'm not one of those insecure individuals that anything material or immaterial is a threat. Nor I'm one of those puritanical (which abound specially in the US) individuals for whom everything is a sin, while being nothing but hypocrites.


As for the OP: if you don't like it: GET OUT. Not one is stopping you. Whatever you say to the contrary you're coming across as an insecure, controlling nag.


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

Rob_1 said:


> I don't understand nor care to understand this "following" ** thing. I just ask why do people need to validate their ** by "following" someone? I think of myself as a leader rather than a "follower".
> I guess is true that the masses are lemmings "following" while the few lead.
> Imagine how stupid it is to virtually follow someone that you don't know nor never will.
> Now on the topic of looking at pictures of hot women, if I want to watch I do, period. If my wife were to object (she doesn't), I would put a stop to her nagging immediately. I could care less if I'm deemed a male chauvinistic pig. Also if she were to want to look at pictures of naked men, she can go ahead. I'm not one of those insecure individuals that anything material or immaterial is a threat. Nor I'm one of those puritanical (which abound specially in the US) individuals for whom everything is a sin, while being nothing but hypocrites.
> ...


Im not talking about watching, im talking about following/being instagram friends and people grom my family and his family seing he is following those "models" (i mean, its almost porn) at his instagram.

Everybody knows its for masterbation and stuff. I feel embarrassed. I feel its disrespectful toward me. It definitely humiliates me publicly. He has my mom, my aunts, brother, sister, even my SIL and cousins there. Not to mention he doesnt ever had me at his facebook (he hardly uses), but did a instagram and the FIRST people he followed were soft-porn models (women shaking asses with bikini and panties).

Sorry, NOT SORRY, i got upset and since then i look at his instagram once in awhile. Im not cold blooded, he always knew this, never lied.

If HE wanna get out he gets out, IM SATYING HERE!!! And he choses: happy wife=happy life or he choses not to be a very happy man. He can look at his own wife all he wants and be a happy man with a happy wife, or he can be instagram friends with women who will never care for him and have a nagging wife. His choice.

And i wont downgrade myself adding hot half naked men at my social media. Ew, what a loser move 🤢

Ps:
Im wasnt talking about if its morally wrong (even though it is! Doesnt matter how much you lie to yourself saying it isnt!).
Ps2:
I dont know why people read one thing and answer about OTHER.


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

You know what???

Thank you all people from your insights, the good and the bad.

It made me notice im acting like a loser.

Now im gonna NAG and complain for real.

Next time a see a ho there IM GONNA DELETE HIS INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT AND BREAK HIS PHONE😡😡

Hahahah

Im not kidding!!!

No nice girl here 😂😂😂


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

Solved.


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Please come back in a week and tell us how things worked out.


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

Married but Happy said:


> Please come back in a week and tell us how things worked out.


Nah, idk if or when he would or will add any of those models anymore, if ever. 

If he does and i happen see i'll comw to tell the gossip hahaha

I hope if it happens i dont see it near my period, though.


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Moon, I'm glad you found a solution, hopefully, it works for both of you. I don't think some posters understand the cultural implications of having their spouse follow some of these "models" publically in view of your family. Is that a cultural thing? People outside your culture may not be able to understand that.

I grew up in the Caribbean, in a very sexually open culture, we have a Carnival likes Brazil's. Sexy models are everywhere, there's even a local magazine sold alongside newspapers readily available. However, the men I grew up around (family and friends) were discrete, they didn't rub their wife's noses in it.



Personal said:


> That is an interesting perspective, since my wife and I share the opposite perspective. Where we both find it is disrespectful and inconsiderate to expect and or demand that sexual partners ought to change to conform to their partner/s wants.
> 
> My wife and I accept each other as we are, knowing it is poor form to expect the other to be someone they are not. While being cognisant that it is a fools errand, to think that one can make somebody be someone they are not.
> 
> ...


Wow, you have more to say to me than OP! Impressive. I get it, you're like CatholicDad's nemesis, and get sensitive to any negative comments about anything to do with porn. Like you, I'm a product of my culture, upbringing and experience, so my perspective is naturally different to yours.

I agree no one should ever expect anyone to change to conform to them! It's a pity more people don't show their true selves more when they're courting so you can make a more informed decision about a spouse. Unfortunately, many disagreeable habits show up when rings are on and complacency sets in.

Anyway, this is moon and her husband's marriage, not yours or mine, and she's not happy with what he's doing. She said nothing about telling him he shouldn't look at other women or porn, but don't follow these kinds of women on his very public social media for her family to see. I don't think you understand this, because you share details about your non-mainstream sex life on a public forum, many people don't. 

I don't know where you got that I'm an arbiter of marriage, I simply cannot understand why people bother getting married if they're going to focus their sexual energy on external parties. Watching porn is one thing, actively following "models" on social media is quite another. There's another thread where this lady's husband messages the models, where do you see this train headed next?


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

uphillbattle said:


> You are such a treasure.


I think I like you.👍


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Glad you got it resolved @moon7


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

I have broken someone’s phone before by smashing and destroying it and then handing them back the broken pieces.

It felt really good, I wish you good luck.


----------



## Savannah01 (Sep 8, 2021)

moon7 said:


> Do you believe its disrespectful for a husband to keep ***following hot instagram "models" or wanna-bes with hot pictures?
> 
> How would you react?
> 
> ...


Well this happens to me quite recently with my husband and yes I find is disrespectful and devaluing their partners while validating someone else — it’s just that plain and simple . 
if they were single of course it’s a different story . If you are in a committed relationship there is no justified excuse to actually follow and like another woman’s photos .. innocent or not ! 
it makes me angry this is so common now but it is what it is … men find it easy to do this online . But to clarify , yes it’s normal to look and that’s fine — truthfully no one can’t prevent someone from looking and moving on , however following and liking and in my case he even sent DMs is a gateway to cheating ! It’s only a matter of the right woman that will bite the bait . 
So for me , it is highly unacceptable, and if they go further as mine did with conversations, it’s in line with emotional infidelity .. sharing your time with someone not your spouse even without physical contact is infidelity and breach of trust . PERIOD


----------



## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

moon7 said:


> Solved.


How did you solve it?


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Savannah01 said:


> Well this happens to me quite recently with my husband and yes I find is disrespectful and devaluing their partners while validating someone else — it’s just that plain and simple .
> if they were single of course it’s a different story . If you are in a committed relationship there is no justified excuse to actually follow and like another woman’s photos .. innocent or not !
> it makes me angry this is so common now but it is what it is … men find it easy to do this online . But to clarify , yes it’s normal to look and that’s fine — truthfully no one can’t prevent someone from looking and moving on , however following and liking and in my case he even sent DMs is a gateway to cheating ! It’s only a matter of the right woman that will bite the bait .
> So for me , it is highly unacceptable, and if they go further as mine did with conversations, it’s in line with emotional infidelity .. sharing your time with someone not your spouse even without physical contact is infidelity and breach of trust . PERIOD


@moon7 This is the lady I mentioned, who's H is also following Instagram models. 

Hope you didn't mind, Savannah, thought you might have some insights for OP.


----------



## Savannah01 (Sep 8, 2021)

TXTrini said:


> @moon7 This is the lady I mentioned, who's H is also following Instagram models.
> 
> Hope you didn't mind, Savannah, thought you might have some insights for OP.


Not at all @TXTrini , yep unfortunately that is me … such a weird place to be but here I am having to deal with this too . I know I sound like a spiteful woman but social media platforms are so dangerous for people who do not know boundaries and the effect this has on their partners 
@moon7 I’m sorry you’re going through this because it’s not something I would wish on anyone else . I am currently dealing with trust and a whole bunch of other things that follows this type of betrayal . It is not fun


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

Men just aren't allowed to have any fun these days


----------



## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

How old is your husband? 

I sense this is the tip of an iceberg. There's a problem when social media rules your life.


----------



## bewilderness (Jun 11, 2013)

TXTrini said:


> I don't know where you got that I'm an arbiter of marriage, I simply cannot understand why people bother getting married if they're going to focus their sexual energy on external parties. Watching porn is one thing, actively following "models" on social media is quite another. There's another thread where this lady's husband messages the models, where do you see this train headed next?


This right here. Men wonder why women shut down sexually. Gosh. I wonder if it has anything to do with the completely UNEXAMINED idea that “all guys do it” — without any concern whatsoever for the consequences. Until a wife eventually recedes into herself and feels unattractive, undesirable and less sexy than the endless cornucopia of thirsty “models” on social media.

Most husbands insist on loyalty in a marriage. And some expect loyalty while making excuses for investing their sexual energy into literally everyone but their wives.

My response has always been the same. How would he feel if you started an OnlyFans account? What if you invested your sexual energy into _being_ the fantasy girl for other men? It’s not really that difficult. What’s good for the goose should be good for the gander — but female sexuality is judged by a wholly different set of standards. Because the standard is defined by male sexuality and what men desire, what men find acceptable (hence the virgin/***** complex, etc.).

Every marriage is different. If one partner has established boundaries around what is and is not acceptable, why would anyone get into a relationship with that person KNOWING they won’t respect those boundaries?


----------



## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Blondilocks said:


> How did you solve it?


I am wondering the same! 

At the same time I am getting new insight as to why some cellphone companies still sell flip phones with only very basic features (as in unable to install any apps except that game where the snake eats pixels and keeps getting longer)!


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

ElwoodPDowd said:


> Nope, I don't think it's important.
> My wife is welcome to look at guys in bathing costumes if she wants, doesn't bother me.
> 
> When we're watching movies and TV shows, should we avert our eyes when the sex scenes pop up?
> Should I look away when the dancers appear in pop videos?


You can easily avoid programmes with sex scenes in if you choose to.
Pop videos are often pornographic anyway so not hard to avoid.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

I think it's going to get harder and harder to find a guy who doesn't get involved in stuff like this. Including porn. 
Very sad.


----------



## Savannah01 (Sep 8, 2021)

bewilderness said:


> This right here. Men wonder why women shut down sexually. Gosh. I wonder if it has anything to do with the completely UNEXAMINED idea that “all guys do it” — without any concern whatsoever for the consequences. Until a wife eventually recedes into herself and feels unattractive, undesirable and less sexy than the endless cornucopia of thirsty “models” on social media.
> 
> Most husbands insist on loyalty in a marriage. And some expect loyalty while making excuses for investing their sexual energy into literally everyone but their wives.
> 
> ...


I’m the lady with the husband who idiotically DMs a random woman on Instagram — which to this day he has no viable answer why he did it , but he did 
It’s a difficult thing to accept because for me , I’m left wondering why do men feel this is okay when yes , they would certainly not accept this from their spouses 
That thought includes my husband who at some point in time was overly jealous of everything when he was younger and here he is now looking at women close to our daughters age ! 
Yet at the same time would be disgusted if he found men his age follow our daughter on social media !
What ???! 
All reasoning out the window because this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever encountered, how social media platforms certainly ruins relationships for those who has spouses or partners who do not understand boundaries
Sadly I don’t think it’s changing anytime soon … And so goes many ruined relationships because it’s no very easy to cheat on someone online


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Savannah01 said:


> I’m the lady with the husband who idiotically DMs a random woman on Instagram — which to this day he has no viable answer why he did it , but he did
> It’s a difficult thing to accept because for me , I’m left wondering why do men feel this is okay when yes , they would certainly not accept this from their spouses
> That thought includes my husband who at some point in time was overly jealous of everything when he was younger and here he is now looking at women close to our daughters age !
> Yet at the same time would be disgusted if he found men his age follow our daughter on social media !
> ...


Thankfully a lot of men don't think it's ok to do that. 
I agree about the double standards as well. It's the same with porn. I guess most men who look at young women on porn or whatever, would hate it if it was their daughter/wife/sister being oggled in that way.


----------



## Savannah01 (Sep 8, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> Thankfully a lot of men don't think it's ok to do that.
> I agree about the double standards as well. It's the same with porn. I guess most men who look at young women on porn or whatever, would hate it if it was their daughter/wife/sister being oggled in that way.


Ridiculous isn’t it ? I don’t know why they don’t think of that at the moment when they’re the ones doing it , it’s like all common sense goes out the window. They usually feel what they do is justified and normal I guess , or not a big deal 
Well karma isn’t a big deal either until it hits you right in the face … that’s all I can say


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

It's just not most women's dream to marry a guy who will then spend the rest of their relationship slobbering over other women on the internet. Women are funny like that.


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

ElwoodPDowd said:


> I find it really hard to lose weight just through exercise.
> Cycled 20Km this morning, using a little over an hour, only 600Kcals, that's 1/2 a Big Mac combo.
> The only way I can lose my extra weight is by eating less, doesn't take any time, doesn't cost me any money.
> It's not easy, but if you put in a little effort and a lot of determination, it's worthwhile for your self esteem.
> ...


My family just cut out most carbs and sugars. Im down 30+, son the same, wife dropped a pant size.


----------



## mariafelton (10 mo ago)

I totally feel you. This is so disrespectful, and they don't even consider our feelings.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

"What's this? A Zombie Thread? Oh, dear me, no! We can't have any of those on TAM!"
Well, _I think_ that's what Zombie Cat was saying but it was all just "Meow, meow, meow, meow! Hiss!" 

His assistant is also here, with his scary eyes!


----------

