# Considering divorce with 3 small kids and one on the way.



## ckeliff (Nov 22, 2010)

I met my husband 15 years ago. He was my boss at a restaurant. We dated off and on until eight years ago we got married. When I met him he was full of life and the center of attention. He was the center of all the parties. I guess I thought he would grow up. When we were eight monthes pregnant with our first child, he got arrested outside his restaurant for selling cocaine. He spent a week in jail. We moved out of that town to start over. I thought he was done with drugs. Even though he was not holding down a job. Two years later we had our second daughter. He was arrested when she was 8 monthes old for probation violation. He went to AA, rehab, etc. He stopped drinking etc, and started looking daily for jobs...we had our third. I dont trust him..I dont think I ever will. He may be sober but he still lives the addict lifestyle of betrayl and lieing. I planned on leaving him after he wrote fradulent checks at a casino from my account and cost us hundreds of dollars in overdraft fees but, I found out I was pregnant. I since then now am in a high risk pregnancy and cant work until this child is born. 
His kids love him and I am scared to try to pay for child care for 4 kids. I am worried of the life he will lead and expose my children to if we get divorced. On the other hand, I dont trust him, he has bad mood swings and screams and throws things in front of the kids. He has broke holes in the walls, stole money and just recently got his truck repossessed because of a title loan he didnt pay. He also denied that it was his when the bill came in the mail.
I know I need to leave him...just scared...And maybe need a little advice.


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## dukeman62 (Nov 12, 2010)

Do you have anyone--family or close friends--who you can lean on for support and advice, or are you trying to resolve this by yourself? It appears to me that drugs might still be in the background, and this has always represented a problem in situations like yours. Why don't you try to sit down with your husband in a full and frank discussion of the problems as you see them and ask him if he has any interest in re-committing himself to a more harmonious marriage situation, especially in light of the four children. All marriages at times run into hard times that seem impossible to resolve. I've been married for 38 years (an old fart, huh?) and understand the ups and downs. My experience is that it does indeed take a lot of effort to make a good marriage, like mine, work. You will eventually look back and see that the struggles that you went through have a very strengthening effect. Try everything you can to regain mutual trust with your hubby--that counts for 99% when you look back on things. Let me know if I can share more of my thinking with you, and my best to you both.


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