# So lost..



## Angelap (Jan 3, 2021)

For starters my boyfriend and I have been together almost 10 years, we have 4 girls and have built so much together. Home,family, career, etc. Our relationship 8years ago was fantastic and EVERYONE envied what we had. Great communication, laughs, no fights and love so unconditional. Well about 2 years things took a turn. Not sure if things became to stressful after our 4th daughter or what. But we had no laughs, arguments and depression. My bf came to me and said he noticed himself changing. My response was maybe you need to see a Dr (which he did but stoptaking meds). He said that was not the response he was looking for and After that was said things only got worse. He does nothing but yell at the kids, stays downstairs (if he is not sleeping), never wants anything to do with us, and our communication has turned into fights of anger. After 2 years of this I feel so lonely, my kids are hurting, and I'm fed up. Will we ever get back what we once had? Could it be we are stuck in a vicious cycle of anger? Should I leave or should I stick it out?
We did have a family meeting with the old 2 (8and14) 3 days ago and my kids cried to him, wanting him, needing him, and just scared we was going to separate. I'm so lost! I just want the love and good times back.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

I think you both need marriage counseling, and HE needs to get back on his meds from the Dr as well as individual counseling on his own.
VERY sorry you are going through this, but realize you can only control yourself -- you can't make him do anything.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

what meds did he stop taking? Obviously, he is not coping well without them and with 4 kids it's not easy at all.


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## Angelap (Jan 3, 2021)

In Absentia said:


> what meds did he stop taking? Obviously, he is not coping well without them and with 4 kids it's not easy at all.


He was given some depression meds. He takes it feels better then stops. He tells me he will continue but never does.
Trust me I agree having 4 kids is NOT easy at all and he doesn't make it any easier.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Angelap said:


> He was given some depression meds. He takes it feels better then stops. He tells me he will continue but never does.
> Trust me I agree having 4 kids is NOT easy at all and he doesn't make it any easier.


ok, that explains it... I think you need to keep hammering the same message... he needs to take them.


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## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

It takes time and effort by patient and Dr to find the right medications for depression and other mental afflictions.

Some will help but have side-effects that are too troubling. Some might take awhile (weeks) before making a difference. Some might not help a particular person at all.

Some might work well for months or years and then suddenly stop working.

Some might work better when taken with another, or even with a different sort of psychoactive drug.

What is needed is for him to commit to the process of working through all this. To commit to the goal of getting well and feeling better.

Meds combined with talk therapy work better than either alone.

And there may be medical interventions beyond typical drug therapy if no standard antidepressant works out (eg, ketamine).

Does he agree he is depressed? Does he talk about it with you or anyone? Are there specific things he complains about?


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## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

What meds has he tried, and for how long?


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

To stop taking many psychotropic drugs without guidance from a qualified prescriber can result in the actions and behaviors you have described.


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