# Where do I go from here



## CBR1206 (Dec 4, 2020)

I recently found out my husband had an emotional affair. Throughout our relationship he has always had an issue “reconnecting” with old “friends” inappropriately whether that’s on social media or via text. But this time was the worst ever. I am devastated because I thought we were doing well. I thought we were working on our marriage. We were in couples counseling for God’s sake! & to find out he was doing this behind my back just hurt like hell. I always told him if he broke our trust again, I was out. But now we have a kid...which honestly isn’t enough for me to stay. Just enough for me to think about things and not be rash. He has begged and pleaded for me to stay. He swears he’s changing and doing all the things I’ve always asked him to do. But everything just feels like BS now and too little too late. I don’t even know who he is now. And I really just don’t know where to go from here. I’m scared he’ll continue this cycle of behavior. I’m scared I’ll be pissed at myself if I don’t stick to my word and he turns around and betrays me again. Any advice from those who have been here before is greatly appreciated.


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## BlueWoman (Jan 8, 2015)

He might change, but he won’t change if you take him back. Get a lawyer and follow their advice. Then get a counselor to help you process the grief of the end of your marriage. That’s my advice.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

He may change. But he may not. My ex-husband also told his “just a good friend” that he loved her but told me he “didn’t mean it” and promised it would never happen again. But then one day it did — with the same “just a good friend”. Maybe your husband really means what he says but it’s always a risk to trust a cheater because they’ve shown you what they’re capable of. It’s a major wake-up call to discover that you don’t really know them as well as you thought.

It may never happen again but there’s no way of knowing that now. So you’ll have to decide whether you’re better with him or better without him. If you decide to stay, be prepared for several years of rebuilding. It won’t be easy but some do succeed although you never again trust 100% — or you shouldn’t. Some discover after years of trying that they just can’t forgive and then they move on. You need to do what you feel is right for you going forward.


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

He hasn't stuck to his word--more than once--that takes more moral fortitude than he has. It is evidence of his integrity or lack thereof. How much do you have? Trust is beyond broken. Tough decisions for you.


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