# Kind of embarrassing but causes arguments



## yellowstar (Jun 18, 2012)

My husband's car smells, I'm sure mine doesn't smell that great either but I also have the kids and sometimes dogs with me. He drives to work in the city (a smaller car) and it literally smells like a farm in there, I have no idea why. So I always say can you please clean your car out, a few times we've switched and I can't stand it and someone asked me for a ride once while I was driving his and I warned them, they thought I was joking but they were like, yep you were right :banghead:

But there's more, sometimes he smells. I'm the kind of person that I can shower once a day, sometimes even once in two days and not smell. Husband is NOT like that, he works in a lab at a hospital so when he comes home his hands definitely smell 'chemically' but because he wears a fleece in that damn car, he sometimes smells too. 

I try not to say too much because he gets SO offended EVERY time. No matter how I approach it...I mean how much more tact can I use, he still gets all pissy about it. Today one of our kids said something to him when he came home, inside I thought Oh my God see it's not just me, SEE! I've suggested don't go a day without showering, bring deodorant in your work bag and use it when you use the bathroom, use talcum powder after a shower and please use deodorant when you don't have to go to work. He ALWAYS claims those things will just 'mask' a smell and make it smell worse, NO THEY DON'T! He showers and uses deodorant but thinks he doesn't need to do more than that. 

Help, what can I do? It grosses me out and it's not something I can just get over. Yet when I bring it up, gently, with tact, etc he still gets annoyed. And yes he was kind of like this in college when we met but it was college. He also listened more then or used the cologne I gave him as a gift then, now the number of times he uses cologne--it's few and far between. HELP PLEASE!


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Farm smell? I guess I never notice the smell in my farm truck. I keep an air freshener in it. You might try that or put an opened box of baking soda under the seat.

As for your husband's body oder, perhaps buy him some nice cologne. Just tell him you think he is sexy when he wears it. Try positive reinforcement techniques.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

How frequently does he shower? Does he have to wear a fleece in the lab? That would get get pretty sweaty I would imagine. Is he overweight? That would cause more sweating too.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

You should charge those city folks extra for granting them the privilege of inhaling a little farm aroma. If your car smells like kids, dogs, and farm, that's the odor of heavenly bliss.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Btw, do you guys live on a farm?

C


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

827Aug said:


> Farm smell? I guess I never notice the smell in my farm truck. I keep an air freshener in it. You might try that or put an opened box of baking soda under the seat.
> 
> As for your husband's body oder, perhaps buy him some nice cologne. *Just tell him you think he is sexy when he wears it. Try positive reinforcement techniques*.


I don't think using the kid gloves work. I would say "Husband, you smell like ass. Go scrub yours right now."


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Oh dear... does he change his work clothes everyday? Does the car have seat covers that can be washed?

Is he very over weight?

Also maybe he needs a antiperspirant rather than a deodorant... they stop the sweating rather than just mask the smell..which is what deodorant does.

Really showering is the key....twice a day if necessary...seriously, if need be, I can shower, soaping up from head to toe in 2 mins (not washing hair). There is no excuse to have a smelly body in a first world country. He's a grown man...clearly intelligent going by his job, so he must understand this.


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## yellowstar (Jun 18, 2012)

To answer some question, nope he's not overweight, probably right at what his weight is supposed to be (I'm the one that needs to lose some weight).

Yes he does wear his fleece at work sometimes, he also wears scrubs.

And I mean farm smell like hay...like goats and hay :slap: We don't live on a farm, we live in the suburbs...he drives to the city. The farms are the totally opposite directions and further away from here. I have NO idea why the car smells like it. And he always says "I don't smell anything" :scratchhead:

Maybe if I can get him to agree to deodorant with him, baby powder after a shower, and a different cologne (more subtle and bath-fresh scent, not musky). His big thing is he won't wear cologne because he doesn't want to smell in the lab :banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead:

I've brought it up to him several times. Today when we talked (after our kid said something) he said to me "How do you even want to be married to me if I smell so bad, how can you want to be with me if I offend you so much". I tried explaining its separate, I love him, I feel for him, etc the smell is separate, it has to do with attractiveness and just overall cleanliness in my head. Smells matter to me, it could be turned into something really great because I LOVE when a guy smells good. I said the smell would make me a lot more attracted to him


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## northland (Apr 13, 2012)

The smell might be residue from smoking marijuana.


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

He probably has BO and it could be that his underarms produce a lot of bacteria. Sweat does not smell but the bacteria under the arms makes the sweat smell. 

Get him a really good nice smelling ant bacterial wash and get him to scrub under his arms with it every day rinse and rescrub. 

It will be worth him getting angry if it produces a result. Write him an email or something, tell him you love him but the smell is effecting your relationship. Ask that he showers every day and twice on really hot days and always after work. Ask him to twice scrub sweaty areas and hands and then use deodorant morning and after his shower at night. 

He should be more then happy to do it. Getting angry about something like that doesn't seem rational.


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## Leahdorus (Jul 28, 2008)

Does he eat any foods that might be making him smell? Sometimes when people sweat, odors from foods they've eaten come out their pores. Definitely keeping the car cleaned out of old cups and wrappers will help, as well washing his fleece regularly.

My pre-teen son comes home reeking of BO every day after school. It's very off-putting. I ask him to wear deodorant and sometimes he does but not always. It's like whole-body BO, not just armpit. Hormones, in my son's case, but I wonder if it's something similar with your H.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

827Aug said:


> Farm smell? I guess I never notice the smell in my farm truck.


Sounds like she's talking about a chemical smell.
Fertilizer, pesticides, probably some chemical he works with at the hospital.


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## yellowstar (Jun 18, 2012)

*LittleDeer* said:


> He probably has BO and it could be that his underarms produce a lot of bacteria. Sweat does not smell but the bacteria under the arms makes the sweat smell.
> 
> Get him a really good nice smelling ant bacterial wash and get him to scrub under his arms with it every day rinse and rescrub.
> 
> ...



Antibacterial scrub sounds good. He gets angry at first but when after a short time he talks to me and I know he listens but I think he feels like I'm offending him or picking on him (or maybe he's just embarrassed about it). I am going to come up with a better game plan to help him because I know he doesn't want to smell! He said "Oh great so I walk around smelling all day"


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## IndiaInk (Jun 13, 2012)

Does he take any medications/supplements?

Also, what does his diet look like?


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

He might be one of those people who sweat more than normal, but don't recognize it. Example: my husband has sweaty feet. I mean, SWEATY feet. His father had the same problem. It didn't help any that my husband spent 20 years in the Army wearing non-porous shoes and combat boots.

But ... he changes his socks three times a day. It keeps his feet from stinking.

Maybe your husband has over-active sweat glands. Before my husband went to an Army doc to address the problem with his feet, he did have a "funk" to him. 

Would suggesting your hubs see a doctor (probably dermatologist), who could probably prescribe a soap, deodorant, and/or shampoo, occur if you brought it up and said you would make the appointment?

If not, then how 'bout just jumping in the shower with him, lathering him up all over, and then ... well, let the games begin!


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

OP - buy him antiperspirant deodorant not just a deodorant...BIG difference!


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## firefly789 (Apr 9, 2013)

I had to deal with this with my dad. He's in assisted living but is independent. However, I would drive him someplace and he would stink. He like to sit outside and wheel himself around. He said he didn't sweat much. I had to tell him that he didn't smell good. Was he showering every day and using deodorant? Of course he didn't smell his own B.O. He did get better about hygiene. Now he doesn't have that problem. 

I just thought of it as stinky, old man syndrome. You're husband doesn't sound old. Has there ever been anyone you've know who has a stronger smell. Maybe you could compare him to that person as an eye opener. Also, is his fleece being washed consistently? 

I'd make sure the car went through a full cleaning and hand an air freshener in it. I really think the fleece might be part of the problem.


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## mrsmariemac (Apr 8, 2013)

Make a bunch of these (Freshen Up Your Home! Make Your Own Homemade Deodorizing Disks One Good Thing by Jillee | One Good Thing by Jillee) and place them under the seats of his car. They will help with the smell. As for his smell, I agree with some of the other posters, but I like the one that suggested you jump in the shower with him and make it a bit more fun for him, and let him know it is not about your love and attraction for him. Men can sometimes be so put off but our telling them what we tell them, not that it is meant to be hurtful but helpful. Sorry guys, it is true. I love my husband dearly but when I have to tell him to lay off the tea sometimes because it is causing his breath to stink, he sometimes gets offended. I just want to be able to get close and it is not meant to be mean!


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## yellowstar (Jun 18, 2012)

Well DH let me order him new antiperspirant/deodorant, a body wash, cologne and going to clean out his car tomorrow (he works all day today). This is a great start! He agreed that after a month if things don't improve he will go see a dermatologist...very happy about all of this!

He will also wash his fleeces more regularly and his car out more regularly.


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## Enginerd (May 24, 2011)

My son can't smell anything so he doesn't notice his BO or the BO on his clothes. We have to remind him that he has a smelling handicap. You mentioned wearing fleece which is polyester. Polyester holds BO more then cotton so you can only wear it once if you're sweating alot. Modern "technical " t-shirts are also polyester. The don't stain easily, but can stink to high heaven if not cleaned. Your husband also needs to clean his car upholstery if its not leather.


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

Dial gold bar soap seems to kill bacteria more effectively than the others. And I've noticed that fleece pullovers are extra hard to de-stink. They might smell okay when they come out of the wash, but body heat activates the smell again. 

I think bacteria and oil from your skin get in the material. Of course, your skin normally is covered with billions of harmless bacteria, and bacteria are like any other organism - they eat (body oil) and produce waste. If you let them build up and flourish in the clothing (they like warm and humid conditions) you'll get a smell.

I've found that soaking the offending garment in a bucket of water and baking soda before a wash is very effective.


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