# Girlfriends Retroactive Jealousy?



## Talk2Me (Mar 22, 2019)

Ok, so here's one for everyone. I'm sure you've read my other post a few weeks back. Things have been good with our relationship but very often my g/f's retroactive jealousy kicks in pretty hard.

Here is why:

I'm 17 years older than she is. I'm 43 she's 26
My previous relationship was 16 years married for 13
We've been together now for 2 years
I have a 10 year old son from my previous relationship
She's never been married
I started dating my ex-wife when she was only 9 years old
She struggles with the fact I still have to talk to my ex

She sometimes has a really hard time dealing with my previous relationship. If she gets upset she will refer to my ex wife as "your wife" and she'll say it with an attitude. She has made it very clear that it bothers her and she is concerned that our marriage won't mean as much as my first and when we have kids together our kids won't be as important as my current child. It doesn't come up often but enough that I know it bothers her. She doesn't try to hide it and I just assure her that I want to be with her.

Before anyone says the age thing is an issue it's honestly not. We were talking for a bit and even went out on a few dates before the age thing came up. I'm VERY fit and look like I'm in my early to mid 30's. I thought when we first met that she was in her late 20's which she was only 24. She got her masters degree at age 24 and is starting her PhD next year so she's clearly not a child. 

Anyways, any ideas on how to make her able to deal with my previous marriage easier for her?


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Couple's counseling to find out if the problem is a relationship issue that you can do something about or if it's her personal issue that she need individual therapy for. That would be likely be a quicker way to get to the bottom of it and do something about it.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Did she get this attitude at home?

If not, where?

Were her parents tough to deal with?

She has serious insecurities.

It sounds like she is going to try to control every bit of your life.

As I see it, she is too young to be thinking this way.Why?

I expect her to get worse.

High achievers in life are often extremely stressed out. 
They take out their stress out on the nearest person. 

Does she talk down to her father. or say disparaging things about men, in general?

She needs counseling.





[THM]- Lilith


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Second wife and stepmum here. Your girlfriends attitude is very strange. I mean, you have a child with your ex wife, you have to talk to her on occasion - it's unavoidable.

On the other hand, how often do you talk to your ex, and what do you talk about? If it's multiple times a day, and about things not related to your son, I can see why your gf would have an issue with that.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Last week you were telling us about your problems with your girlfriends sexual past and her previous partners.Now it seems that she also has a problem with your past relationships especially with your ex wife. 
Is this some sort of codependent relationship you are in, and if it is then I foresee problems ahead. Maybe couples counseling would help but whatever you do don’t get married until this is settled one way or another.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Based on your previous post and this one, your relationship obviously isn't as cut and dry as you might like. Virtually nobody's is ...

I'm going to second the request for more information on how, and how often you interact with your ex-wife?

My wife has a child from a previous marriage, and I have 2. Between our blended families we have great, positive working relationships all around. And we know we are lucky in that regard. 
In practice I interact with the ex once or twice a week at most, and we see each other only at pickup/drop off and kid related events.

What does your dynamic look like? Do you have firm boundaries in place?

Is your ex remarried, partnered?

My first loving relationship post-divorce tanked because my partner, by her own words stated, that she couldn't handle that my ex would always be a factor in our lives. She wasn't wrong, but 'factor' is subjective. I'm guessing it was a much more substantial factor to her, then it was to me.

Edited to add: 

Help me out here. You're 43, been with partner for two years. Were with ex preceding that for 16 years and started dating her when she was * only 9?*. Please indicate this is a typo or you live outside of the United States.


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## Talk2Me (Mar 22, 2019)

I started dating my current gf when she was 24 and I was 41. What I was trying to say is that when I started dating my ex wife my current gf was only 9 years old. When I married my ex wife my gf was only 12 years old


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## Talk2Me (Mar 22, 2019)

So, here’s the crazy part I almost never talk to my ex wife at all. I don’t know the last time we’ve had an actual conversation. We communicate via text and email only and I share all texts and emails with my gf sonthere is complete transparency


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

43 and 26 explains a lot, but I won't touch that.

You were married to your ex wife, and she is the mother of your children. Your girlfriend needs to accept that this woman will be a part of your life, and she needs to grow up about it period of course, a girl in her twenties is not going to act the same way as someone closer to your age would.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Your GF is already laying out her reasons to bail.

And no, it ain't hay she has on her mind. 

It is possible that she will get better once she graduates.

And, it is possible she will dump you, or force you to jump out of her moving life, whereby you hit the pavement.

In doing so, leaving half your bloody skin on that long road made suddenly short.

Uh, are you helping to pay for her education, or for her room and board at your place?

If so, you may end up being a place setting at her dressing table. Her dressing down...table.

You get sexual relief and you get to kiss her trembling lips.... trembling with unhappy anger.

The age difference is part of the problem. You look young, your mind looks, thinks its age.

Her mind is yet forming. It is yet rebelling at choices she feels are forced, due to circumstances she is barely 'managing'.

Let her go. Get one whose mind has reached majority,

One who is happy, the majority of the time.

That is a hard find in this ever stressful life.

Nobody is willing to bend...

Not over.

Bend toward you, your lips and minds meeting at some halfway spot.

Enough teaching, preaching and wallowing.

Um, ahem.

Prrrrt, excuse me while I blow and wipe my 'node'.





[THM]- Lilith


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Your gf may be lamenting never having the 'firsts' with you. Having the first wedding, being the first wife, having the first child with you, picking out the first house etc. These all make for special memories and you've already btdt.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

She’s immature. 43 v. 26. End of story.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Blondilocks said:


> Your gf may be lamenting never having the 'firsts' with you. Having the first wedding, being the first wife, having the first child with you, picking out the first house etc. These all make for special memories and you've already btdt.


I like this.

I do not like you.





[THM]- Lilith


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Talk2Me said:


> So, here’s the crazy part I almost never talk to my ex wife at all. I don’t know the last time we’ve had an actual conversation. We communicate via text and email only and I share all texts and emails with my gf sonthere is complete transparency


Appreciate the clarification, Talk2Me. 

So, we can certainly evaluate and comment on her behavior ...

Or just deal with what you should do, in addressing the behavior. I like to condense the nonsense, so lets get right to your behavior when she pulls the 'wife' card.

Here is what you do:

Nothing.

You don't correct her, you don't respond to it. You ignore it. You stop showing her any emails and texts, in order 'to keep her in the loop'. It's having the opposite effect of being transparent.

Sounds like she's big on communication, given that she's a psych/SW major. That's not a bad thing. But make no mistake, there is without a doubt such a thing as over-communicating, and it can be equally as corrosive as not communicating enough. I would refer to her complete transparency with you about her sexual history as my case in point.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

SunCMars said:


> I like this.
> 
> I do not like you.
> 
> ...


Yes, you do. Admit it, you old fart.:x


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## Talk2Me (Mar 22, 2019)

This is the most negative group of people I’ve ever talked with. Haha. People give advice based on their own personal experiences and it’s pretty obvious that everyone here lives a miserable life. We are happy and like all couples have issues we deal with but nobody here can ever be happy for anyone else because it’s all gloom and doom


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## MyRevelation (Apr 12, 2016)

Talk2Me said:


> This is the most negative group of people I’ve ever talked with. Haha. People give advice based on their own personal experiences and it’s pretty obvious that everyone here lives a miserable life. We are happy and like all couples have issues we deal with but nobody here can ever be happy for anyone else because it’s all gloom and doom


Bluntly ... if any of the above were true, you would have never come here.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

My advice was based on the information you have provided on TAM, and my knowledge of reality. 

The reality is, when she is 40, healthy and still fairly hot, she’s gonna be looking at her BF or H that is pushing 60 and has a mountain of health problems, and is slowing waaaay down. She will be sick of people referring to you as her dad. She will be at the height of her career, you picking your retirement date. Her jealousy will be over new kinds of things at that point. 

You will be writing in with a whole new set of concerns...but yeah it’s easier for you to think we are grumpy meanies.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Talk2Me said:


> This is the most negative group of people I’ve ever talked with. Haha. People give advice based on their own personal experiences and it’s pretty obvious that everyone here lives a miserable life. We are happy and like all couples have issues we deal with but nobody here can ever be happy for anyone else because it’s all gloom and doom


You were uncomfortable about your girlfriend having a sugar Daddy when she started college. 
She is still going to school and she still has a sugar Daddy who she lives with.
That would be the man in the mirror. That magic mirror that takes ten years off.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

I'm not miserable at all.

Nor do I have any experience dating youngin's because I absolutely *refused* to even consider dating them when I found myself single again in my late 40's. I've had them follow me around in grocery stores and some have continually called me, hoping to wear me down and say 'yes' to going to dinner with them. I wasn't interested.

So I'm not all impressed that you got yourself a youngin' but I think YOU'RE awfully impressed with yourself. Women with daddy issues or who have an Uncle Bad Touch in their pasts are a dime a dozen. Just sayin'.

But if you want to be with a youngin', then you're going to have to deal with their childish immaturity and their "me! me! me!" mentality. While she's got her **** together and is getting an excellent education, that doesn't put her on the same emotional/maturity level as a 45 year old woman. She's *still* a youngin' any way you slice it. As someone else brilliantly pointed out to you, SHE wants to be the first one to do everything with you - be the first wife, the first one to have your kid, the first one to buy a house with, etc. etc. Instead, she's just the 2nd one who gets to watch what you've already done in your life. Whoopie. 

I actually completely understand why she feels that way. It's because she's YOUNG and has all of these 'firsts' still ahead of her. And she should one day have them instead of wasting her time with a middle-aged man whose already been there and done that.

This relationship isn't going to last. I'm sure you love bragging to your buddies about the youngin' you're with, but it's not going to be sustainable in the long run. Go listen to the Eagle's "Lyin' Eyes." That's likely going to be you in the future. I'm not being snarky, I honestly believe that.


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## Aspydad (Oct 17, 2013)

I hope you are not supporting your much younger gf. One of my good friends moved in with a hot nursing student (he 46 and she 24) and she just loved him so during her time with him. SO he supported her - paid for her schooling and planned to marry her when she graduated. BUT, I guess she just kind of fell out of love with him - EXACTLY when she got her first job just after graduating - she dumped him and never looked back.


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## Tiggy! (Sep 9, 2016)

Blondilocks said:


> Your gf may be lamenting never having the 'firsts' with you. Having the first wedding, being the first wife, having the first child with you, picking out the first house etc. These all make for special memories and you've already btdt.


:iagree:
I wonder if the fact her 'firsts' will be with some who's already been there and done that makes her feel like these events in her life will feel less special to her?


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Well this is all very helpful, no?


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## Talk2Me (Mar 22, 2019)

Aspydad said:


> I hope you are not supporting your much younger gf. One of my good friends moved in with a hot nursing student (he 46 and she 24) and she just loved him so during her time with him. SO he supported her - paid for her schooling and planned to marry her when she graduated. BUT, I guess she just kind of fell out of love with him - EXACTLY when she got her first job just after graduating - she dumped him and never looked back.


HAHA Actually it's the EXACT opposite. When I got divorced I had to sell my business and go back to working for someone else. I just quit my job a few weeks ago because my 2 year no-compete is coming up so I can open another business. She has actually been paying all the bills etc for the past several months. This was her idea not mine. Now, we are focused on getting everything ready to start another business.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

T2Me, I often say that context is everything.

So in the scope of the guy who comes here after going home and discovering his wife banging the handyman, only to have her standing there naked claiming "It isn't what it looks like ..."; or the woman who fears for her life because her alcoholic husband threatens to kill her and himself ... we have a pretty wide spectrum of relationship dysfunction.

Lots of folks here have come out on the other side of some pretty harsh adversity.

You? You're definitely in the shallow end of the pool. And thats a good thing.

I'm a solutions oriented guy in general ... thus my input about not responding your GF's efforts to create strife surrounding your ex-wife. It's a negative dynamic, and you should be looking to squash those where and whenever you find them. 
As an alternative, every time you are in her presence and she says something like 'You're wife ...', don't say a word, just go put your arms around her, hold her and smile. It's called 'reframing'. Trust me.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Spicy said:


> My advice was based on the information you have provided on TAM, and my knowledge of reality.
> 
> The reality is, when she is 40, healthy and still fairly hot, she’s gonna be looking at her BF or H that is pushing 60 and has a mountain of health problems, and is slowing waaaay down. She will be sick of people referring to you as her dad. She will be at the height of her career, you picking your retirement date. Her jealousy will be over new kinds of things at that point.
> 
> You will be writing in with a whole new set of concerns...but yeah it’s easier for you to think we are grumpy meanies.


The age difference is actually the only detail that gives me pause.

I have seen many work it out however.

If OP keeps himself in top health and his girlfriend is mature and wise enough to know what she wants, it will work if they want it to.

There are absolutely issues to overcome. Mrs. C has me by 11 and I'm a fairly young 48. I adore her but her insecurities are speed bumps sometimes.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

I agree with the other posters, maybe she is just not mature enough for the type of relationship you want. Your life experiences are just different, and that may contribute to her reaction to you. If you were closer to her age there probably wouldn't be such a disparity in life experience which causes her such insecurity, or hopefully she would be more confident. Though that is not guarantee that's for sure. Just read some stories on here.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Talk2Me said:


> This is the most negative group of people I’ve ever talked with. Haha. People give advice based on their own personal experiences and it’s pretty obvious that everyone here lives a miserable life. We are happy and like all couples have issues we deal with but nobody here can ever be happy for anyone else because it’s all gloom and doom


We're miserable and yet you post on here for advice. Sure, it's not that you are sensitive or anything.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

Deejo said:


> Well this is all very helpful, no?


I read all of your posts in Ron Burgundy's voice.....


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

personofinterest said:


> I read all of your posts in Ron Burgundy's voice.....


Excellent! Working as intended!


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

If she wants to be with a man old enough to be her dad, then she has to accept that you have more baggage than her and were previously married and that you have a child with other woman. If she cant accept that or let it go, then this isn't going to last and maybe she needs to find a man who is more her age and hasn't married or had children so that she can be his first in everything. 
I would have thought after 2 years she would have accepted it and stopped being so paranoid. 

Must admit that in almost all of the relationships I have known with a much older man and younger woman, the woman had daddy issues. Either she didn't have one, or she had a poor relationship with him, so she is seeking that in her partner. 


Oh and BTW I am in a very happy 13 year second marriage for both of us, and we don't lead a miserable life. The fact that neither of us were each others 'first' makes no difference to us at all. We rarely think about that part of our lives.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Talk2Me said:


> This is the most negative group of people I’ve ever talked with. Haha. People give advice based on their own personal experiences and it’s pretty obvious that everyone here lives a miserable life. We are happy and like all couples have issues we deal with but nobody here can ever be happy for anyone else because it’s all gloom and doom


I don't get it. I really don't. People come on here asking for advice, don't like what they hear, then tell us we're all a bunch of losers.

I have a great life. I'm happy. I'm at peace. I had to dump two loser husbands to attain nirvana, but life is good in the desert southwest. Very good.

Oh, well, carry on ….


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Talk2Me said:


> HAHA Actually it's the EXACT opposite. When I got divorced I had to sell my business and go back to working for someone else. I just quit my job a few weeks ago because my 2 year no-compete is coming up so I can open another business. She has actually been paying all the bills etc for the past several months. This was her idea not mine. Now, we are focused on getting everything ready to start another business.


OK...

If I and others are correct in our dire assumptions and with our commentary, I personally will be unhappy.

If you are right and she works out well, you will be happy, I will be happy.

I do not have a dog in this fight.

He ran away with the 'Second in Command'.

Go figure.





[THM]- SCM


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

She is being unreasonable, and unfortunately you can't "make her able to deal w/ your past". She has to want to get over this. If she does want to, and you want to help then you're getting somewhere. 

You might try saying something like "I'm sorry this upsets you, can we talk about it? Should we talk w/ a counsellor?" If she says something angry, just tell her that isn't helping, you can't change the past and you don't appreciate anger when you're trying to help.

If she doesn't want to change then you know she thinks it's ok to kick your nuts for stuff you can't do anything about, and you don't want to hitch your wagon to that.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Talk2Me said:


> So, here’s the crazy part I almost never talk to my ex wife at all. I don’t know the last time we’ve had an actual conversation. We communicate via text and email only and I share all texts and emails with my gf sonthere is complete transparency


Ok then, that's odd. She needs to accept that there will be times when you have to talk to your ex wife, there's no getting around that. It's not only impossible not to, it's unreasonable. She needs to either accept that as a fact, or end the relationship. Some people just aren't cut out to be step parents.



Blondilocks said:


> Your gf may be lamenting never having the 'firsts' with you. Having the first wedding, being the first wife, having the first child with you, picking out the first house etc. These all make for special memories and you've already btdt.


There is absolute validity to this. Occasionally I think about that - all the things my husband has already done with another woman...pick the furniture, paint colours, baby furniture, had a child...and I won't lie, it STINGS. It kills me that I will never get to experience those things with him...but, it is what it is and nothing can change it, so....


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## Talk2Me (Mar 22, 2019)

ConanHub said:


> The age difference is actually the only detail that gives me pause.
> 
> I have seen many work it out however.
> 
> ...


I've been in Martial Arts and Bodybuilding for most of my life. At 43 (which I just turned a few days ago) I have a six pack, and solid and I workout 5-6 days per week. I'm in better shape than 95% of 25 years olds. I pride myself in taking care of myself and after 30+ years of working out I don't see that changing. Obviously, as I age it will be harder to keep the physique I want but I believe I look better now when I cut than I did when I was ripped in my 20's. Actually, this is a fact because I have 30lbs+ of more muscle than I did then.

It's not all about looks but compatibility. We have that and most of the times things couldn't be better. We have our issues like every other couple but we work on it as best we can.


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## Talk2Me (Mar 22, 2019)

frusdil said:


> There is absolute validity to this. Occasionally I think about that - all the things my husband has already done with another woman...pick the furniture, paint colours, baby furniture, had a child...and I won't lie, it STINGS. It kills me that I will never get to experience those things with him...but, it is what it is and nothing can change it, so....


I can respect this. We were looking at furniture a few weeks ago and I said something and she responded "You have have done these things a lot with your ex but I've never done it with anyone before." I did feel bad about it and realized how she prob. didn't feel special at the time. I can certainly understand this esp. as we start having kids. I'm hoping we have a girl as it will be a completely different experience but who knows?

When we first started talking and hanging out neither of us wanted a serious relationship. She even said that she would never be in a serious relationship with someone with a kid because she didn't think she could handle it. Everything was said at the beginning but things just developed and we couldn't help it. I didn't want a serious relationship with someone so much younger as the other women I was talking to were in their mid to late 30's. But, we had an insane connection and things just progressed and we couldn't help it.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I can't comprehend RJ but folks that experience it have my sympathy.

I cannot see living backwards when the present is in my face and the future is calling.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Talk2Me said:


> I've been in Martial Arts and Bodybuilding for most of my life. At 43 (which I just turned a few days ago) I have a six pack, and solid and I workout 5-6 days per week. I'm in better shape than 95% of 25 years olds. I pride myself in taking care of myself and after 30+ years of working out I don't see that changing. Obviously, as I age it will be harder to keep the physique I want but I believe I look better now when I cut than I did when I was ripped in my 20's. Actually, this is a fact because I have 30lbs+ of more muscle than I did then.
> 
> It's not all about looks but compatibility. We have that and most of the times things couldn't be better. We have our issues like every other couple but we work on it as best we can.


You do realise that most men think they look younger than they do? Looks aren't often about fitness but face, skin, genes etc.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Talk2Me said:


> ConanHub said:
> 
> 
> > The age difference is actually the only detail that gives me pause.
> ...


43 is one thing. 63 is another. As you age, a huge age difference becomes more noticeable and pronounced. Looks, energy, health, sexuality, stage of life.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Livvie said:


> 43 is one thing. 63 is another. As you age, a huge age difference becomes more noticeable and pronounced. Looks, energy, health, sexuality, stage of life.


Unless you're Chuck Norris....


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## Talk2Me (Mar 22, 2019)

Diana7 said:


> Talk2Me said:
> 
> 
> > You do realise that most men think they look younger than they do? Looks aren't often about fitness but face, skin, genes etc.
> ...


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Talk2Me said:


> Diana7 said:
> 
> 
> > When I tell people how old I am they don’t believe me. I don’t at all look my age. My skin is soft and I have all my hair. I’m not grey nor do I have bad skin or anything. I’ve always taken care of myself so this is a nonissue. Nobody looks at us funny when we are out. We don’t look like a mismatched couple in any way shape or form. I would love to post a pic here but I know it’s against the rules.
> ...


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

Talk2Me said:


> When I tell people how old I am they don’t believe me.


Like you're ever going to convince a bunch of women on the internet of that. 

You may be attractive enough for your gf, but where is that going to get you?

(This would be the sarcasm)


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

frusdil said:


> There is absolute validity to this. Occasionally I think about that - all the things my husband has already done with another woman...pick the furniture, paint colours, baby furniture, had a child...and I won't lie, it STINGS. It kills me that I will never get to experience those things with him...but, it is what it is and nothing can change it, so....


I believe this is valid to you, and I don't mean to dismiss how you feel, but some of us are kind of opposite. I and my wife each had our own house before we met and picked our own paint colors and all of that. Now if one of us winds up settling for a color we don't like it's like "Oh well, I got what I wanted the first time and it didn't make my food taste better." 

I'm not saying either attitude is right, just giving a different perspective.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Talk2Me said:


> It's not all about looks but compatibility. We have that and most of the times things couldn't be better. We have our issues like every other couple but we work on it as best we can.


Then why bother asking a bunch of negative losers like us for advice???

You seem to come back responding with how much you have it together. Both of you are smart, physically fit, have minor problems. Like Charlie Sheen said, "WINNING!"


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

SpinyNorman said:


> Talk2Me said:
> 
> 
> > Like you're ever going to convince a bunch of women on the internet of that.
> ...


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Blondilocks said:


> Talk2Me said:
> 
> 
> > Plenty of people have posted pics. Post away.
> ...


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Talk2Me said:


> Diana7 said:
> 
> 
> > When I tell people how old I am they don’t believe me. I don’t at all look my age. My skin is soft and I have all my hair. I’m not grey nor do I have bad skin or anything. I’ve always taken care of myself so this is a nonissue. Nobody looks at us funny when we are out. We don’t look like a mismatched couple in any way shape or form. I would love to post a pic here but I know it’s against the rules.
> ...


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

Diana7 said:


> Hey I didn't post that:surprise:


Didn't mean to say you did, apologies. There are some abnormal pieces of quote showing up in posts, you'll notice them in your posts on this page.

I just clicked the quote button on a post that wasn't by you and assumed it would quote the other person, but since you brought this to my attention I edited it.

Had to snip out a quote fragment from this post.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

SpinyNorman said:


> I and my wife each had our own house before we met and picked our own paint colors and all of that. Now if one of us winds up settling for a color we don't like it's like "Oh well, I got what I wanted the first time and* it didn't make my food taste better.*"


 @SpinyNorman Why are you painting your food? You might want to see someone about that. If it was lead paint that might explain a lot.:grin2:


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Diana7 said:


> Blondilocks said:
> 
> 
> > WHY does the ops post say that I posted them?
> ...


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

SpinyNorman said:


> Didn't mean to say you did, apologies. There are some abnormal pieces of quote showing up in posts, you'll notice them in your posts on this page.
> 
> I just clicked the quote button on a post that wasn't by you and assumed it would quote the other person, but since you brought this to my attention I edited it.
> 
> Had to snip out a quote fragment from this post.


No probs:smile2:


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Blondilocks said:


> Diana7 said:
> 
> 
> > It looks like the quote function was malfunctioning. I know you're not 43.:wink2:
> ...


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

SpinyNorman said:


> I believe this is valid to you, and I don't mean to dismiss how you feel, but some of us are kind of opposite. I and my wife each had our own house before we met and picked our own paint colors and all of that. Now if one of us winds up settling for a color we don't like it's like "Oh well, I got what I wanted the first time and it didn't make my food taste better."
> 
> I'm not saying either attitude is right, just giving a different perspective.


No I know what you mean, I don't feel you're dismissing what I said  I was talking about my husband and his first wife picking out colours for the baby room etc. etc. I too had my own house as did he before we met, and we both chose our own decor, but that's not what I meant in my post, I should've been clearer


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## Talk2Me (Mar 22, 2019)

I think what's funny about this topic is I was looking for ways to help my girlfriend and myself deal with this issue and everyone is jumping on here saying she is going to dump me blah blah blah. That's not what I'm asking. If that's going to happen then it happens. I'm not going to sabotage my relationship in the event that something "MAY" happen and that she "MAY" dump me in 15 years. If she does then I will deal with it then and enjoy the many years of great times we've had. I plan for the future but every relationship poses risks.

My question was basically if I could do anything to help her cope with my previous relationship not to tell me how immature she is blah blah blah


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Talk2Me said:


> I think what's funny about this topic is I was looking for ways to help my girlfriend and myself deal with this issue and *everyone* is jumping on here saying she is going to dump me blah blah blah.
> 
> My question was basically if I could do anything to help her cope with my previous relationship not to tell me how immature she is blah blah blah


I suggest you reread @Deejo's responses. He gave you constructive advice. There are other responses on here that were also constructive.

If you don't like the answers, don't ask the questions. Y'know, blah, blah, blah. Oh, and Happy Monday.

Signing out now. Blah.


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