# Poor Sport husband-I've had it!



## wifeiam (Apr 1, 2013)

I've had it with my poor sport over competitive husband. Had my parents over for our weekly card game last night and my husband pouted, whined and totally embarrassed me through the entire night because the women rather then the men were winning. It was so embarrassing and uncomfortable for everyone. He acts like this in every single thing of this nature. Went to the putt putt course the other day and he fussed if I didn't congratulate him (a man with a 30 year history of golfing) on every good putt "like I was doing for the kids". This poor sport behavior has wiped off on the kids and now my son is making excuses whenever he isn't winning (and is even cheating to get unfair advanatage) and I am afraid it is going to lose him friends. Hubby sees the bad in it for son but when I tell him we are losing this battle to teach our son better because of his bad example he turns a blind eye. Have talked about it and he denies then says he will do better but in no time he is back to sulking if he isn't on top of every little silly board game, card game, sporting event, video game, etc.., What do I do?


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## JustPuzzled (Dec 12, 2012)

I have not read your other posts. How is your marriage in general?

Your H's behaviour is unacceptable. I think that I had some "bad sport" tendencies in my late teens. I spent a year travelling and had the opportunity to spend time with families that were full-on "good sport" folks (my family was a good sport family for sure, but I was the youngest and a bit of a sh!t - never got the lesson). I came back with an immense appreciation for the ability to win and lose with grace.

Pouters where I come from are treated politely to their faces and are called rather rude names when the dinner clean up is being done. A second invitation is not likely unless the pouter's spouse offers EXCELLENT value in company (not often the case). Then we just let pouty-persons hang themselves socially and hope that their spouses deals with it.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

quit doing competitive things with him. when he asks why tell him because hes a big cry baby. tell him you just don't enjoy being with him when he acts like that.

be brutally honest. But kind at the same time. maybe even suggest counseling.


if he takes an attitude and ignores you. Then you will have to decide if you want to stay married to someone like that.


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## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

Does he act like this in other scenarios as well? (say, if you go to a restaurant or see a movie he didn't choose) or does this behavior only come out when playing competitive games?


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## wifeiam (Apr 1, 2013)

pink_lady said:


> Does he act like this in other scenarios as well? (say, if you go to a restaurant or see a movie he didn't choose) or does this behavior only come out when playing competitive games?


No, he actually is quite fine with letting me choose something like that and having a good attitude. It is just anything that could have a potential game win in it no matter how trivial or meaningless.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Just refuse to play any game with him at all. And tell him exactly why. "I will not play with you because I don't enjoy it when you get so competitive, and I have told you about this before and you don't stop, so I have chosen to stop playing any thing with you where there is a winner".

That's called drawing a boundary.


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

chillymorn said:


> quit doing competitive things with him. when he asks why tell him because hes a big cry baby. tell him you just don't enjoy being with him when he acts like that.
> 
> be brutally honest. But kind at the same time. maybe even suggest counseling.
> 
> ...


Seriously. Not that hard. Let him get his competitive juices out playing against his buddies


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Next time record it and play it back for him so he can hear how childish he sounds
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## IsGirl3 (Nov 13, 2012)

I like the others advice about not doing anything remotely competitive with him. It's sad. Your kid's behavior is the bigger problem. You just have to do the best you can, but make sure you call the kid on it every time with consequences for cheating, which shows the extent he or she will go to to get the praise. And consequences for acting out. Your kid will do this when you are not around so you have to do what you can when you are there.

Maybe you need to drag your H's @ss to counseling, if only for your kids sake.


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## wifeiam (Apr 1, 2013)

Faithful Wife said:


> Just refuse to play any game with him at all. And tell him exactly why. "I will not play with you because I don't enjoy it when you get so competitive, and I have told you about this before and you don't stop, so I have chosen to stop playing any thing with you where there is a winner".
> 
> That's called drawing a boundary.


I love that idea and I don't play stuff with him unless it is the kids wanting to play (go putt putt or bowling or do a sport or board gam with their parents kind of thing) or my parents want to play cards every weekend and they are getting up in age and I want that time with them. He is even crappy if he feels a kid has beat him. We were playing monopoly and I sold a property to one of our kids and then he whined when I wouldn't sell one to him at what he thought I should and said "why do you do it for the kids and not me". 

I did tell him he acted ridiculous the other night and I'm not going to play if he does it again. He doesn't see it but he sits there with that pouty face, other will joke and talk about their plays but it is with such a light fun spirit and for him he is stony faced and you can tell he is mad. I'm going to come down harder on him for this because I don't want to lose out on social opportunities or my kids to because he can't get this under control.


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