# Testing your partner



## Daviekins (Sep 4, 2011)

Well I am kind of stuck in a dilemma. I am in a situation where I can test my wifes fidelity by getting someone I know(but she doesn't) to try and flirt with her etc.

If she doesn't go for it then it would go a long way in helping the relationship and building my trust.

What are your thoughts on this? Is it wrong? If she did go for it there is the possibility that she would not have searched for it and therefore would not cheated had I not put her in the situation.


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## Lazarus (Jan 17, 2011)

Daviekins said:


> .
> 
> What are your thoughts on this? Is it wrong? If she did go for it there is the possibility that she would not have searched for it and therefore would not cheated had I not put her in the situation.


She was secretive and cheated on you. Now you are going to do the same. She might be hurt, shocked and feel that she can no longer trust you but, what you are doing is revenge treatment.

It could turn out that your friend that she doesn't know could go off with her, in which case, you lose her and your "friend"! 

It could work and give you the trust you need to move forward.

If you divorce, it could be considered "entrapment" if she got to know, or if your friend decided to spill the beans.

It's a difficult one but you could add more problems to an already problematic relationship.

Maybe read up on how to regain trust and find out the necessary tests in order to see if she passes with flying colours, or fails at the first hurdle.

Infidelity sucks. It destroys so much faith and trust in human nature.

Make yourself happy. If she wants to come along on the ride, it's got to be on your terms. She gave up any rights after lying and cheatin on ya


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## sam83 (Jul 23, 2011)

Not the best idea what if she just doesn't like him is this make her faithful ??

what if ur friend like her and go with her and tell u she is good girl 

after the affair do u get full transparency from ur wife do u know where she is all the time ???


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I would rather use this resource for investigation purposes. Having your friend follow her. The other side of the coin is she my not be attracted to the friend and give you a false reading.

I'm all for confirming your spouses commitment to the marriage, but there are variables to this senerio, the worse is them going off together. How close is this friend that your W doesn't know?


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Daviekins said:


> Well I am kind of stuck in a dilemma. I am in a situation where I can test my wifes fidelity by getting someone I know(but she doesn't) to try and flirt with her etc.
> 
> If she doesn't go for it then it would go a long way in helping the relationship and building my trust.
> 
> ...


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Just like there are people who are predisposed to alcohol abuse, there are people who are predisposed to infidelity. You're willingness to tempt your wife to cheat, is tantamount to putting a bottle of booze in front of an alcoholic in order to test her resolve. That is called cruelty in my book.

Instead get yourself and your wife into individual and marital counseling. I hope for both your sakes that you do it.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

This is a bad idea to me, it does nothing but break down whatever trust may be remaining by either spouse, and what exactly does it accomplish? nothing.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Daviekins said:


> Well I am kind of stuck in a dilemma. I am in a situation where I can test my wifes fidelity by getting someone I know(but she doesn't) to try and flirt with her etc.
> 
> If she doesn't go for it then it would go a long way in helping the relationship and building my trust.
> 
> What are your thoughts on this? Is it wrong? If she did go for it there is the possibility that she would not have searched for it and therefore would not cheated had I not put her in the situation.


What if they tell her and then she gets very mad and decides to prove a point by going all the way with them?

This just seems wrong to me.

In fact I cannot even imagine the conversation with the other guy. Hey, do me a favor. Seduce my wife. I want to see if she cheats on me. Flirting would not tell you much.


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## calif_hope (Feb 25, 2011)

First of all, this is not "Entrapment", entrapment relates to a crime, and the authorities would have to be the ones to set the bait. 

Second, "testing" is very common, many PIs offer the service. Heck, one of the cable channels had a reality show on this subject - hot mom PI with 3 very hot PI daughters. If you decide to do it use a PI, professional confadential relationship as opposed getting a friend of a friend to do it for you.

Call a PI and ask for the decoy service
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

If you have to go to such extremes to discover if your wife is going to be faithful to you then you might as well end the marriage and move on. Nothing good will come from it.


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## calif_hope (Feb 25, 2011)

As Ronald Reagan said, "Trust But Verify"!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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