# Default things from Single People



## Dadwithtwolittlegirls (Jul 23, 2012)

OK... I went on a dating site (not that I want to date..I like to read the desperate profiles)

95% of them say.. I like working out.

Bullshet... sure I did a bit of running for the first few months then that stopped, I was working out for the first few months and that stopped too and now I have something to hang my suit on.

Most people on here tell people in a break up to "work out"... sure we all think we are gonna do that.. but really.. do we actually stick with it? Are we magically gonna turn in Mr. GQ for men or Jennifer Aniston for the women? 

No... many of us are chunky, balding, greying and will never look again like we did in our 20's. I find when women try to look twenty while they are in there 40's they just look like cougars.... 

The default for single people need to be realistic. I'm not gonna go running 10 miles after working all day and then have to look after my kids alone.. I have supper, lunches, baths, homework and maybe a bit of time to clean the living room and do the dishes.

I know I won't have 6 pack abs, or arms like Hulk Hogan and anatomy like Ron Jeremy. I have to look at what else I can improve.

I can learn to speak clearer, learn to be attentive caring and loving. Understand other people's feeling better, become a better communicator. 

I will not ... spend 6 hours in the gym a week and look like a douche bag flexing in the mirror or not sit on the couch with a bag of chips feeling like crap once and a while, and not become and over night sensation.

Advice needs to be realistic.....and same with what you put out there to find your next date.


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## hank_rea (Mar 13, 2013)

Well, they tell you to work out because it will make you look better. And when you look better, you feel better. I definitely could stand to lose a few pounds (even after my depression weight loss) but I absolutely HATE exercising. So, yeah....doubt I'm going to be hitting the dumbbells any time soon, either.


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## mainsqueeze (Apr 10, 2013)

People also always say that they don't like drama, and then end up being the ones causing it. 


I work out 3-5x a week. Usually quick 20 minutes or less. I've been doing this fairly consistently for about nine months. I lost about 40 pounds over the last year or so mostly be eating better. I can't say I like working out though. I just like how I feel and look. 
My wife lost 70 pounds along beside me and I get repaid for supporting and encouraging her by her sleeping around yay!


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## Forever Changed (Sep 18, 2012)

Workout? Hahaha. My work out is taking my little dog for a walk every weekend. I tried to do pushups and a couple of sit ups every night before bed but it lasted about 2 nights 

Yes, drama. I have a new saying for this now - 'Drama begets Drama'. 

The biggest Red Flag for me is when I read something along the lines of the following (I think it must be an Australian thing):

"I will tell it like I see it, I will not mince words so if you don't like it then keep away"

Or something like that.


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## Forever Changed (Sep 18, 2012)

Sad, you've got the right idea there man.

I have taken a good point from this.

Learn to speak clearer, and learn to practice Active Listening. Also, what I have been doing is trying to walk with purpose, talk with purpose and slow my movements right down. 

Got the walk and talk right.

Just working on the slow movements.


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## SecretTears (Jul 18, 2010)

To each their own I guess. I work out, have been a runner for 10+ years and now I am eating properly and I look better than I did when I was in university. I wouldn't date someone who doesn't work out (no need to be obsessive about it but must understand the role that exercise plays in a healthy life). All this to say I don't agree with you - sorry!


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

The online stuffs just not the real world.
Just take a look at their photos and how long
they've been alone out in the real world .
l find the same thing.

But yeah on the working out , tell you one thing.
l do run a few times a week usually and it really
does clear your head and burn out some of
the cluster fk.
And l also just find it's so good for me physically.
The improvement since l started is unreal.
Before that l'd be lazy or puffing after hardly
anything and actually did think hmm, must
be getting old. Bounce about like a 10 year
old now though so.
lt is bloody hard to make myself keep at it
though , find the time at times too.
Sometimes l pull upto my tack in the car, get out
and think wtf , l can't be stuffed with this crap.
Have gotten back in the old car a few times
don't worry.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

I like to work out. 

Working out for me might mean treadmill and weights, or it might mean a day of xc skiing, bicycling, kayaking/canoeing, hiking or climbing or even an evening out dancing. I used to play tennis and I would probably take it up again if I had some beginners to play with as there is a free public court near my home.

I don't and never have seen it as some kind of chore.

I'm not a gym rat and I don't think I would be interested in dating someone who was a gym rat. Physical self is meant to be enjoyed. There are many ways to do that. And I think a lot of singles put on their profile that they enjoy working out because they are too shy to say that they enjoy keeping their bodies in shape and taking care of themselves because of the better sex connection. And who wants to get involved with someone who is going to drop dead?

I know I'm a lot more conscious of the health of the people I date after my former boyfriend nearly dropped dead of a brain hemorrhage (and I would have stuck with him if he'd recovered sufficiently, but he didn't.) I used to think that the drinking and steak eating and corned beef hash and eggs in the morning were all okay as long as someone looked average healthy. Boy was I mistaken.

I do pay attention to whether someone takes their health seriously, because I don't want to spend the last half of my life playing nursemaid, slave to my heart. 

3 months bedside in the neuro icu was quite enough.

One doesn't need to be a gym rat but I cleaned up my diet and took it even further by being near-vegan, and started paying more attention to my sleep and also to lowering stress, and more time to fun physical activities as well as to rest and enjoying my work and studies. I now need to work out less than I did before, and am in better health. (working out to burn calories and build muscle doesn't eliminate what too much meat and dairy and alcohol and sugar will do to your liver and brain and pancreas and bowels...etc.) 

The reality is that sure health issues happen but why stack the deck if you're single, or even if you're married/partnered, make sure you're not disrespecting the person you're asking to be with you, a total stranger, by saddling them with health issues you could have avoided? My adult son was ecstatic when I told him I went vegan, and my younger 2 seem happy as well. I am nearly 50 and my youngest is 9. They want me not just to be around but be able to do fun things with them. And the people I work with too, it would be wrong to leave them in a lurch while dealing with health issues. I do contract/project work. So people depend on me to do what I said I would. 

Bad health is just a drain on society. And also, when and if you go for surgery, a surgeon and medical caregivers are biased towards giving better care to those who show evidence of having made a good effort to take care of themselves. It's easier to find organs and to respect them when there is less fat in the way, and to sew arteries that are strong and have good blood flow. 

Everyone is going to die sooner or later. Demographics are stacked against people who are baby boomers. There are not going to be enough people in the workplace to provide good quality care at affordable prices. Even accessible housing is going to be in short supply, and transportation for those too incapacitated/disabled to drive. Food is going to be more expensive and in shorter supply. 

There are a lot of reasons for being fit. Most people who say that it's a priority for them are saying it to be more than vain.

Before I made all my health changes I was running and working out regularly. I thought that was sufficient, but even though I was 5-2 and 100 pounds and could run a 5k in 25 minutes at age 45, I still had high cholesterol and a lot of stress. So I went a bit further and really cleaned up my act and it hasn't taken any heroics.

I get to the gym when I can, but if I miss a month I am still okay with that. Life is an ebb and flow, whereas a singles profile is a snapshot of what people might consider their priorities.


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## Dadwithtwolittlegirls (Jul 23, 2012)

I do eat better.. but the fastest I run is when there is a fresh batch of Chicken on the buffet.


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