# Orgasm Logistics Problem



## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

I am having difficulty achieving orgasm unless I am on my back.
PIV with her on top or BJTC if I am on my back is no problem.
Perhaps it's a factor of my old age (53), but if I am on top or even on my side I have difficulty getting my O. 

The other issue is that if I am on my side my testicles tend to cinch up into my abdomen when I am close to orgasm. (hurts me)

In order for me to achieve orgasm when on top I would have to go very hard and very fast at the end of which my wife says it "hurts".
When she is on top, apparently that position does not hurt when "hard and fast."

Just last night I was PIV behind and to her side and she O'd. She was jello afterward and could hardly get up to get on top of me. She wondered why I could not cum in that position because she was so spent. 

I don't want to limit my O to only one position. It seems that's where I am headed. It was never an issue because it's my wifes favorite position (on top). However, she did mention it last night so I figure it IS a problem.

TAM to the rescue!


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Tantra chair? I understand it helps with exploring new positions.


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

Fozzy said:


> Tantra chair? I understand it helps with exploring new positions.


I don't think I can get this past the kids:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00LL1TL3Y?keywords=tantra chair&qid=1447779156&ref_=sr_1_1&sr=8-1

This one, maybe:http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B009Y04PAS?keywords=tantra chair&qid=1447779156&ref_=sr_1_6&sr=8-6


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

How old are your kids UMP? You could just say "Don't sit on that, that's where your mother and I have sex."

That should do the trick.


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

Fozzy said:


> How old are your kids UMP? You could just say "Don't sit on that, that's where your mother and I have sex."
> 
> That should do the trick.


They are older but my 16 year old daughter would just freak out.
My 18 year old son was pissed that I did not watch the game with him last night. He knew what was going on. This would just be over the top.
It's not like they don't know we have sex, but this thing is just way too obvious.

What do I do with it when my pastor comes to visit :surprise:

I know that we should not hide the fact that we have regular sex from our kids, but I don't have vibrators, lube and dildos lying around either. Know what I mean?


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

This might work out better.
All foam and I might be able to stuff it in a closet when not in use:
Amazon.com: Liberator Esse Sensual Lounge Chair, Espresso Velvish: Health & Personal Care


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

UMP said:


> They are older but my 16 year old daughter would just freak out.
> My 18 year old son was pissed that I did not watch the game with him last night. He knew what was going on. This would just be over the top.
> It's not like they don't know we have sex, but this thing is just way too obvious.
> 
> ...


My pastor would probably ask me how much I paid for it.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

I remember once having trouble masturbating to completion while standing up. I got upset about it and I was one day bound and determined to do it, so I went at it in the shower. I was enjoying myself, but I had to work too hard to make myself get there. I didn't give up and I pushed myself by clinching all my muscles in my upper body in this half hunched over position which I pounding away with my hand until I was almost out of breath, and then with a rather unfulfilling jolt it was over. Then as I stood up and relaxed the sound of the shower became drastically muffled as my hearing momentarily faded out and I felt light headed. 

Long story short that happened when I was young and I did not realize that I was forcing myself to orgasm when my body was not really ready. 

Now that I am much older, I kid you not, I once got myself so aroused that I got into the shower and put my penis and testicles into a ziplock bag of ice water. That would not slow me down as a few strokes later I exploded like a freight train and felt wonderful afterwards.

...so I would take the focus off of problems with finding the right position, and just try learning to enjoy sex while playing a game of "how long can I delay my orgasm" even if it lasts for a few days or a few times having sex. Then you'll find yourself being able to hang upside down off the edge of the bed and even being able to achieve an orgasm with the gentle thwack of your wife's underwear while she fusses at you to clean up your mess in the garage and finish your tax returns on time. 

Cheers, 
Badsanta


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Maybe a trip to the urologist may be in order here? I'd be interested in what you found out since I'm only about 11 to 12 years younger than you are. Or a gonadologist?


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

badsanta said:


> I remember once having trouble masturbating to completion while standing up. I got upset about it and I was one day bound and determined to do it, so I went at it in the shower. I was enjoying myself, but I had to work too hard to make myself get there. I didn't give up and I pushed myself by clinching all my muscles in my upper body in this half hunched over position which I pounding away with my hand until I was almost out of breath, and then with a rather unfulfilling jolt it was over. Then as I stood up and relaxed the sound of the shower became drastically muffled as my hearing momentarily faded out and I felt light headed.
> 
> Long story short that happened when I was young and I did not realize that I was forcing myself to orgasm when my body was not really ready.
> 
> ...


Not a bad idea. Problem is, it could actually take hours to orgasm.
I don't think my wife could take it for that long.
However, and amazingly, your premise makes sense.:grin2:


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

UMP said:


> Not a bad idea. Problem is, it could actually take hours to orgasm.
> I don't think my wife could take it for that long.
> However, and amazingly, your premise makes sense.:grin2:


Try for a few times to enjoy NOT HAVING AN ORGASM, and you would be amazed at how insanely enjoyable and intense the sex becomes and the continued desire and glow afterwards. 

Your wife will enjoy teasing you and seeing you respond, but you may want to set a general time limit of say an hour or so at which time you start to cool down and put yourself on pause until you two pick back up and resume later. 

At some point you'll experience a hair trigger on your orgasm, and then you can explore finding a comfortable in between that will allow you to orgasm completely relaxed in virtually any position you want. But the whole point is not the orgasm, it is savoring the erotic journey to delay getting there, and finding the courage to see what an orgasm is like when you remain completely relaxed!

It is a sensation somewhat like having a warm bucket of orgasmic water slowly poured over your entire body! And I promise if you are "patient" enough to let it build over a few short lovemaking sessions, that your wife can even bend you into a backwards pretzel into the cramped space in your kitchen pantry and instead of having trouble reaching an orgasm you will worry about where to put your secret sauce.

Badsanta


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

Babsanta, 
Well, all I can say is "OK, I will try."

That's kind of what we do now, but I feel like the wife can't take too much more.
However, last night it looked like she could have stayed lying there forever after her O.
I will give it my best shot.


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## Heatherknows (Aug 21, 2015)

badsanta said:


> It is a sensation somewhat like having a warm bucket of orgasmic water slowly poured over your entire body! And I promise if you are "patient" enough to let it build over a few short lovemaking sessions, that your wife can even bend you into a backwards pretzel into the cramped space in your kitchen pantry and instead of having trouble reaching an orgasm you will worry about where to put your secret sauce.
> 
> Badsanta


Christmas is coming Badsanta: I can only imagine what your wife will be getting you.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Heatherknows said:


> Christmas is coming Badsanta: I can only imagine what your wife will be getting you.


Last year she got me an RC Quad copter so I would go outside to play and give her some peace and quiet. 

OMG, I love my wife :smile2:

Badsanta


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Are you having sex because you want sex, or because it is time to have sex? A friend once asked me why he was having so much trouble getting off...I suggested he shouldn't have sex till he was horny, not just because it was Friday night, or whatever....
It worked...
I will be 70 next birthday, and have no problem in any position...


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

Woodchuck said:


> Are you having sex because you want sex, or because it is time to have sex? A friend once asked me why he was having so much trouble getting off...I suggested he shouldn't have sex till he was horny, not just because it was Friday night, or whatever....
> It worked...
> I will be 70 next birthday, and have no problem in any position...


No, horny.. Can't quite figure it out. 
I think that I think I am taking too long. It's a mental block I believe. If my heart held out and I tried, I think I could go for hours.
Although, like Badsanta said, I have never really tried to go as long as possible.

I also think we're both exceeding our physical capabilities. Me 53, not overweight but I need more aerobic activity to keep up. My wife is 50 and works out everyday, but still gets rubber legged and can't keep going.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Have you spoken to a doctor? Maybe it's a blood pressure or circulation issue.


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

MJJEAN said:


> Have you spoken to a doctor? Maybe it's a blood pressure or circulation issue.


I get physicals and tests frequently because of my heart disease.
Everything is better than fine. My boner is better than ever and can last rock hard as long as I want. Not a circulation issue.
The more I think on this, I think I need to work out more. More aerobic activity so I can pound and relax at the same time, and get over my mental block.
Back to the gym :|


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Given your heart condition I wouldn't ignore possible medical reasons. 

Laying on your back allows your testicles to rest on your perineum while other positions places them in the precarious swinging and banging state. Do you wear underwear that keeps them tucked up into your body or that allows them to hang below?

Also, you could postpone your wife's most intense orgasms until after you've completed yours, but that's probably a tall order for most men and she would probably have to be in agreement or she may spend a few moments mired in resentment that you chased yours without ensuring hers.


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## BBF (May 21, 2015)

Just so much beyond jealous. . .


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> Given your heart condition I wouldn't ignore possible medical reasons.
> 
> Laying on your back allows your testicles to rest on your perineum while other positions places them in the precarious swinging and banging state. Do you wear underwear that keeps them tucked up into your body or that allows them to hang below?
> 
> Also, you could postpone your wife's most intense orgasms until after you've completed yours, but that's probably a tall order for most men and she would probably have to be in agreement or she may spend a few moments mired in resentment that you chased yours without ensuring hers.


I have been wearing boxers for years. I have always had balls that stay tight against my body. I personally wish they would hang more. Wife does not like when I cum first. I think that's why I last forever because I am so concentrated on her pleasure.

Once she cums, I think I pressure myself into cumming as fast as possible. I get to a static state where I don't allow myself to go over a certain edge. If I stay in that state long enough while she works her way up, it becomes harder for me to orgasm, unless I am on my back and can completely relax my entire body.


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

BBF said:


> Just so much beyond jealous. . .


Jealous of what, exactly?


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## BBF (May 21, 2015)

UMP said:


> Jealous of what, exactly?


That despite what you see as problems, you have a partner who is actually and actively involved and who communicates with you about sex. Trade you.


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

BBF said:


> That despite what you see as problems, you have a partner who is actually and actively involved and who communicates with you about sex. Trade you.


It was not always like this. Our sex life started out vanilla and got worse as the years went by. 24 years later it's great.
If I can, I see no reason why you cannot either.
Some say I am in a very small minority. Probably so, however, I always tell people not to lose hope.
I will say that my wife does love me and I do love her. I think if the "love" is there, the sex can be fixed.


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## BBF (May 21, 2015)

UMP said:


> It was not always like this. Our sex life started out vanilla and got worse as the years went by. 24 years later it's great.
> If I can, I see no reason why you cannot either.
> Some say I am in a very small minority. Probably so, however, I always tell people not to lose hope.
> I will say that my wife does love me and I do love her. I think if the "love" is there, the sex can be fixed.


I'm working on it. Been to IC and and finally found a good Al-Anon meeting...the elephant in our living room comes with bright brass stanchions and red velvet rope--it's my wife's drinking. Passing out in the middle of the act is worse than rejection. 

So, be thankful for your problems.


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

BBF said:


> I'm working on it. Been to IC and and finally found a good Al-Anon meeting...the elephant in our living room comes with bright brass stanchions and red velvet rope--it's my wife's drinking. Passing out in the middle of the act is worse than rejection.
> 
> So, be thankful for your problems.


Yes, 
I understand. That is a terrible problem.
I will pray for you.


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## BBF (May 21, 2015)

UMP said:


> Yes,
> I understand. That is a terrible problem.
> I will pray for you.


And me for you. Didn't mean to thread jack.


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