# Needing some guidance..



## ChristineT (Aug 30, 2018)

Not sure what to do ... 

I have been married to my husband for almost 13 years; and for the past 4+ months I’ve been in a SEXLESS Marriage!! In my head telling myself I’m crazy because who fights over not having sex? Is this something to really be worried about?

Now let me explain our relationship.. 

The first couple of years of our marriage we experienced with the whole “Swingers Lifestyle” - I am a bisexual female (which I told him from the beginning of our relationship) but then I find out he is “bi-curious” - but oral only.. Ok, no big deal I can handle that.. 

The whole swinging thing is amazing! We have lots of fun and I even felt so much closer to my husband! We were open about everything - we were each other’s ride or die basically! 

Fast forward a bit - Present day, he has had 10 hernia repair surgeries due to complications from the mesh they used.. Also, I (Wife) feel like I’m in my “prime“ and I want to have sex ALL THE TIME!! I can’t help this, I can’t stop it - it’s just my sex drive is insane! (I had a partial hysterectomy at 22 - so present day it’s been 11 years with NO period and can’t get pregnant) 

Now, remember the past 4+ months there has been NO Sex, NO intimacy, NO nothing - he would much rather watch gay porn and masterbate in the shower than to have sex with his wife! Finally, I feel like I need to ask him - Are you gay? Well his response is below: 











After breaking down - I re-read this and honestly feel like this is a bull**** excuse and he isn’t really telling me the truth.. 

So of course after fighting back and forth and VERY hurtful words are said.. I finally tell him I’m DONE .. Of course - that doesn’t matter - he then tells me that he isn’t leaving, he doesn’t care that we aren’t having sex, and to sum it up - I’m a stuck *****.. 

So, during this conversation that he tells me I’m basically “stuck” because he’s gonna “try to work on it” He says he doesn’t “live in the moment” he lives 5, 10 years from now (so basically he’s stressing about bills and etc) Well then I tell him, OK.. I won’t MENTION sex, I won’t ASK for sex, or even TALK about anything sexual related! (P.S. I do not even change my clothes in front of him anymore)

I know **** doesn’t change overnight, I know I have to practice being more patient I know that I’m the dumb ass that decided to stay and do it “his way” - but I am dying inside.. every chance I get alone I cry my eyes out! I am so miserable and I can’t say a freaking thing!!!

Any advice or guidance would be appreciated?!?!?


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