# I'm back...



## Too Little Too Late? (Sep 2, 2012)

Hello all, long time no chat. I just wanted to drop a line saying how grateful I am for all of the support you gave me during my debacle.

I found a great woman and had been seeing her for awhile. She is 32 with no kids and feels like our lives are too different. How have you guys prevented going down the depression road with your after D relationship breakups. Im not going to chase her. She needs to figure it out for herself. We really have no issues other than she's just not ready to take on all that I have going. I can't help feeling sad, and don't want to go down the road of ruminating about it again.


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## hank_rea (Mar 13, 2013)

Sorry I can't offer any advice as I haven't even passed the denial stage of my divorce grieving. Just welcoming you back.


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## Too Little Too Late? (Sep 2, 2012)

hank all I can say is that it takes time. take to time to love yourself and focus on the way things are..or were not on the way you wish things could be. be honest with yourself and know that you will be better of without her. i still find myself wishing things could be different...for us..for my kids but then I remember that we all deserve better, and so do you. follow the advice that you get on the board. there are a lot of battle tested good people on here that want the best for you. look into CODA meetings in your area. A lot of the issues on this board are codep related. meetings and this board helped me a ton and I was as low as i have ever been.


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## unsure78 (Oct 17, 2011)

wish i could give you some good advise but all i can do is sympathize. My first post D relationship just ended as well, and for no real good reason other than he couldnt handle taking it to the next level. I guess you just move forward, and try not to get stuck.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Too Little Too Late? (Sep 2, 2012)

Frustrating..we don't have any issues other than the fact that I have 3 kids and am divorced. She is 32 no kids never married. Said that she feels like I have been there done that already and she hasn't. Is having a hard time feeling comfortable around my kids. Is very nice to them but you can tell it feels uncomfortable. i have them week on week off and she feels distant on the weeks I have them,and is reticent to hang out with us. Starts thinking about all that is wrong with the situation. If feel like she is just scared and won't open her heart and mind and realize that this could be something great. Maybe she is just too immature to get it. She knew I had kids when we met so not sure what she was hoping for. In my mind she is hoping to meet someone her age with no kids and live out the apple pie dream. Guys that haven't been married or kids at this point probably have issues, which she has already experienced. So the choice is..date a man who know how to do it and can see his mistakes or keep dating boys who don't want to let her be who she is?


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## unsure78 (Oct 17, 2011)

let her go.... there is nothing else you can do, I know its fustrating when you see it as working fine, but if they dont there is nothing you can do. As hard as it is for me, im having to let him go, its his own issues that he needs to deal with. Mine had fears of serious relationship. Unfortunately for me i have fallen on the post relationship depression train... 

who knows maybe she will come back around to you
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Too Little Too Late? (Sep 2, 2012)

unsure78 said:


> let her go.... there is nothing else you can do, I know its fustrating when you see it as working fine, but if they dont there is nothing you can do. As hard as it is for me, im having to let him go, its his own issues that he needs to deal with. Mine had fears of serious relationship. Unfortunately for me i have fallen on the post relationship depression train...
> 
> who knows maybe she will come back around to you
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


i am trying not to go there. Be strong and reach out to the people that love you. The loneliness is what gets me. I felt like I was doing so much better. Had something..someone to look forward to. The key is to be stable one way or the other. As far as letting her go..you are right. Nothing else to do, I can't control my situation or the way she feels about it. I had hoped that she would be able to handle it but for some who are still unsure about what they want in life it can be too much. I just wish she would have realized it before I had feelings for her. Dating with 3 kids feels overwhelming. Seems like dating people with no kids, these types of issues will continue to come up but the prospect of a mixed family working out feels like a fools game as well.


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## unsure78 (Oct 17, 2011)

Too Little Too Late? said:


> i am trying not to go there. Be strong and reach out to the people that love you. The loneliness is what gets me. I felt like I was doing so much better. Had something..someone to look forward to. The key is to be stable one way or the other. As far as letting her go..you are right. Nothing else to do, I can't control my situation or the way she feels about it. I had hoped that she would be able to handle it but for some who are still unsure about what they want in life it can be too much. I just wish she would have realized it before I had feelings for her. Dating with 3 kids feels overwhelming. Seems like dating people with no kids, these types of issues will continue to come up but the prospect of a mixed family working out feels like a fools game as well.


Yea i have been reaching out to others... been thru this road before so at least I know how it goes. Yes I too wish he had let me go before I had real feelings for him. For the reason you mention is why I prefer dating guys with kids, it a different lifestyle... mixed family does work sometimes it just takes work.

I feel your pain.......


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## ReturntoZero (Aug 31, 2015)

Too Little Too Late? said:


> Hello all, long time no chat. I just wanted to drop a line saying how grateful I am for all of the support you gave me during my debacle.
> 
> I found a great woman and had been seeing her for awhile. She is 32 with no kids and feels like our lives are too different. How have you guys prevented going down the depression road with your after D relationship breakups. Im not going to chase her. She needs to figure it out for herself. We really have no issues other than she's just not ready to take on all that I have going. I can't help feeling sad, and don't want to go down the road of ruminating about it again.


Proud to report TLTL and his woman overcame all of this and got married this past weekend.

Congrats brother.


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## rockon (May 18, 2016)

I love a happy ending!


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