# How to tell if its masterbation or infidelity on a mans soiled underwear



## Ildeko (1 mo ago)

Sorry in advance for the subject matter.
I've been noticing a few soft red flags from my guy lately. In the 2.5 years we've been together I have never seen soiled undies until yesterday. Any way to tell if it just self pleasure or a sexual encounter. Paturns? I'm distraught and don't know what to think.please be blunt


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## BootsAndJeans (4 mo ago)

Guys usually don't have soiled underwear from sex. If I am working outside and get sweaty, there can be sweat/salt on the front area.


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## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

Men don't blow it in thier underwear...


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

Ildeko said:


> Any way to tell if it just self pleasure or a sexual encounter.


No, no way to tell the difference, from the underwear. 

What are the "soft red flags"?


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

There isn’t any real way to tell. Could be either. Maybe your house cat wasn’t close enough that time.


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## ArthurGPym (Jun 28, 2021)

Not enough evidence to tell if he's cheating. Look for other signs. Is he spending inordinate amounts of time texting or on his phone? Is he acting secretively? Is he coming home later from work? Have you checked his call logs to see if he has been calling a certain number more than others? Start Sherlocking but keep it on the down-low.


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## BootsAndJeans (4 mo ago)




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## DamianDamian (Aug 14, 2019)

Soiled men's underwear is never from sex with another person


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## Ildeko (1 mo ago)

ArthurGPym said:


> Not enough evidence to tell if he's cheating. Look for other signs. Is he spending inordinate amounts of time texting or on his phone? Is he acting secretively? Is he coming h
> 
> 
> Laurentium said:
> ...


He's suddenly began deleting all content from his phone like texts and call logs- says it makes it run better. He also got up at 12:30 am to text someone, thinking I was asleep. He said it was to leave a message on a family divorce app about his child. Knowing it would not be seen until the next morning but he could not sleep so he sent the text. He left earlier than usual and when I walked him to his car (we had taken a short trip in the day before) and I siad I'm going to check the car to be sure I hadn't left anything behind. In his console was a blush brush, when I asked about it he got very angry, not that I looked because I'm not a snooper but because I even asked. He said I should trust him and he can't deal with a jealous partner.


Laurentium said:


> No, no way to tell the difference, from the underwear.
> 
> What are the "soft
> 
> ...


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## DallasCowboyFan (Nov 20, 2012)

Gonnorhea can cause a white sticky discharge


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Ildeko said:


> He's suddenly began deleting all content from his phone like texts and call logs- says it makes it run better. He also got up at 12:30 am to text someone, thinking I was asleep. He said it was to leave a message on a family divorce app about his child. Knowing it would not be seen until the next morning but he could not sleep so he sent the text. He left earlier than usual and when I walked him to his car (we had taken a short trip in the day before) and I siad I'm going to check the car to be sure I hadn't left anything behind. In his console was a blush brush, when I asked about it he got very angry, not that I looked because I'm not a snooper but because I even asked. He said I should trust him and he can't deal with a jealous partner.


Good grief. He's full of bologna and playing you.

A couple of scenarios could make the leavings you described.

Getting aroused enough to have something happen while clothed.

Almost getting caught masturbating (or having sex) and pulling his clothes on before or during ejaculation.

Having sex with a condom and not having time to fully clean up before covering back up.


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## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

Ildeko said:


> He's suddenly began deleting all content from his phone like texts and call logs- says it makes it run better. He also got up at 12:30 am to text someone, thinking I was asleep. He said it was to leave a message on a family divorce app about his child. Knowing it would not be seen until the next morning but he could not sleep so he sent the text. He left earlier than usual and when I walked him to his car (we had taken a short trip in the day before) and I siad I'm going to check the car to be sure I hadn't left anything behind. In his console was a blush brush, when I asked about it he got very angry, not that I looked because I'm not a snooper but because I even asked. He said I should trust him and he can't deal with a jealous partner.


Well if that's the case then you better start snooping. A blush brush in his car ? If it's not yours....
Put a VAR under his car seat. You will have your answers soon. Or hire a PI


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## Megaforce (Nov 12, 2021)

Key is to keep quiet and snoop/ observe. Never, never let on that you are suspicious. If you do, it becomes way harder to bust.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

I’d be more concerned about the blush brush. That’s definite evidence of someone else with him — unless you think he’s using it himself.


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## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

No grown man ought to soil their underwear. I think you are looking in the wrong area. Get a cheap Voice Activated recorder and stick it under his seat. Tape it down so it does not slide out. Then check it after a couple of weeks. Just wait til he is distracted with TV / Video games and drop it in there. There is some smoke now it's time to find the firew.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

The discharge in the underwear is not the issue. The other behaviors are also not "soft" red flags. They are red flags. Ignore then at your own peril. 

If the blush brush was nothing, he would have told you earlier that he drove some woman somewhere. When you found the makeup tool he would have said, "I guess [that same woman] dropped it. Would you [his wife] mind giving the brush back to her [the platonic friend passenger]?" 

That is exactly what happened the other day when I found a lipstick on the floor of the backseat of DH's car. I knew my friend had been in the back seat; DH & I had driven somewhere with her. The lipstick I found was her brand & her color. I picked up the lipstick, put it in my pocketbook & gave it back to her yesterday. Him cheating with her never crossed my mind. Her dumping her purse because she's a klutz, absolutely. 

Do you see the difference in those 2 scenarios? At minimum it was not a surprise to me that another woman was in my husband's car. I was there too.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

BootsAndJeans said:


> Guys usually don't have soiled underwear from sex.





Jimi007 said:


> Men don't blow it in thier underwear...





DamianDamian said:


> Soiled men's underwear is never from sex with another person





badbane said:


> No grown man ought to soil their underwear.


Have none of you guys had a woman pull your penis through the lil flap thingie and ride, give a handy, or a messy blow?

When DH and I were dating we'd frequently have spontaneous clothed sex in the car, against a tree, on the porch swing, and so on. He usually got a bit of us on his boxers.

Anyways, you could try smelling the underwear. If he was with someone having clothed or semi clothed sex her fluids would likely be present and the scent of woman is distinct.


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## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

MJJEAN said:


> Have none of you guys had a woman pull your penis through the lil flap thingie and ride, give a handy, or a messy blow?
> 
> When DH and I were dating we'd frequently have spontaneous clothed sex in the car, against a tree, on the porch swing, and so on. He usually got a bit of us on his boxers.
> 
> Anyways, you could try smelling the underwear. If he was with someone having clothed or semi clothed sex her fluids would likely be present and the scent of woman is distinct.


Been married a long time and my wife and i stopped wearing underwear altogether. Can't recommend it enough boys. Yes I thought about this, however in a normal context not it's definitely not normal for it to be soiled from masturbation. Could it be masturbation sure but regarding that nobody wants to deal with that being on them usually it's done in such a way that cleanup is a bit easier. Could it be a trist in the car sure. 

If they are soiled underwear that he wore the day he was with her alone. That's changes things a lot.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

A blush brush and a shaving brush look kind of similar except the shaving brushes usually shorter.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

There are several red flags and you have a very good reason for being suspicious. Up to you with how to proceed, it will be hard to get any hard proof of anything. I would straight up ask if he was cheating. His reaction should be telling.


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## ShatteredKat (Mar 23, 2016)

Get on the Internet and search for "Checkmate" - kit you can buy to check for semen. 
That will settle the question of what it is or isn't.

So if it IS - what are you going to do?
Phone use? Is that for "porn" sites? Webcam girls? and/or possible (EEE-YUCK) webcam guys?
Or is he having chats with a person who is helping him "release?"
Is he meeting someone somewhere? 
There is a story on one of these boards where Missy Wife was banging a doctor in a room set aside
for staff to rest. People (hospital staff) knew of the shenanigans and covered for the two to spend time in "the room."
Poor BS found out decades later. Point is - coitus takes 5 minutes or less between two willing people.

Look up Weightlifters standard evidence post and keep your trap shut until you know for certain whether or 
not you have a wandering or wayward infidel on your hands.

VAR is excellent idea - also - get a 2nd one and put where he chats on the phone out of your hearing range.

Timeline of his whereabouts? (where he says he is)
Mileage on car?
Bank account - where is how much $$ going?
Credit cards?
Keep in mind the "cash back" at checkouts in stores - easy enough to "spend" $100 bucks in PUBLIX and walk out with just a dozen eggs.

OTOH - you are the only one who needs to be convinced. If you choose, you can go your own way without saying a word to husband.


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## BootsAndJeans (4 mo ago)

MJJEAN said:


> Have none of you guys had a woman pull your penis through the lil flap thingie and ride, give a handy, or a messy blow?
> 
> When DH and I were dating we'd frequently have spontaneous clothed sex in the car, against a tree, on the porch swing, and so on. He usually got a bit of us on his boxers.
> 
> Anyways, you could try smelling the underwear. If he was with someone having clothed or semi clothed sex her fluids would likely be present and the scent of woman is distinct.


@MJJEAN ...

MJ


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## ArthurGPym (Jun 28, 2021)

Ildeko said:


> He's suddenly began deleting all content from his phone like texts and call logs- says it makes it run better. He also got up at 12:30 am to text someone, thinking I was asleep. He said it was to leave a message on a family divorce app about his child. Knowing it would not be seen until the next morning but he could not sleep so he sent the text. He left earlier than usual and when I walked him to his car (we had taken a short trip in the day before) and I siad I'm going to check the car to be sure I hadn't left anything behind. In his console was a blush brush, when I asked about it he got very angry, not that I looked because I'm not a snooper but because I even asked. He said I should trust him and he can't deal with a jealous partner.


All red flags. Plant a VAR in his truck under the seat. Get hold of your cell provider to send you a call log and see who he has been calling.


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## Megaforce (Nov 12, 2021)

ABHale said:


> There are several red flags and you have a very good reason for being suspicious. Up to you with how to proceed, it will be hard to get any hard proof of anything. I would straight up ask if he was cheating. His reaction should be telling.


Not if he is s decent, practiced liar. IMO., one should never ask.


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## Megaforce (Nov 12, 2021)

MJJEAN said:


> Have none of you guys had a woman pull your penis through the lil flap thingie and ride, give a handy, or a messy blow?
> 
> When DH and I were dating we'd frequently have spontaneous clothed sex in the car, against a tree, on the porch swing, and so on. He usually got a bit of us on his boxers.
> 
> Anyways, you could try smelling the underwear. If he was with someone having clothed or semi clothed sex her fluids would likely be present and the scent of woman is distinct.


Every other week.


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## Megaforce (Nov 12, 2021)

badbane said:


> Been married a long time and my wife and i stopped wearing underwear altogether. Can't recommend it enough boys. Yes I thought about this, however in a normal context not it's definitely not normal for it to be soiled from masturbation. Could it be masturbation sure but regarding that nobody wants to deal with that being on them usually it's done in such a way that cleanup is a bit easier. Could it be a trist in the car sure.
> 
> If they are soiled underwear that he wore the day he was with her alone. That's changes things a lot.


We smoke our underwear.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Jimi007 said:


> Men don't blow it in thier underwear...





DamianDamian said:


> Soiled men's underwear is never from sex with another person


It depends on if he goes to a strip club and ejaculates during a lap dance. It also depends if the "blush brush" in the car was used by a woman he is having sex with in his car afterwards when she tries to look more presentable after some hot and heavy in the car. In such a situation, yes, the men's underwear could have been used to clean things up after sex in the car.

I think that the other red flags are the ones that the OP should focus on.


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## BootsAndJeans (4 mo ago)

Young at Heart said:


> It depends on if he goes to a strip club and ejaculates during a lap dance. It also depends if the "blush brush" in the car was used by a woman he is having sex with in his car afterwards when she tries to look more presentable after some hot and heavy in the car. In such a situation, yes, the men's underwear could have been used to clean things up after sex in the car.
> 
> I think that the other red flags are the ones that the OP should focus on.


Well, I am obviously too tame and inexperienced....


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

MJJEAN said:


> Have none of you guys had a woman pull your penis through the lil flap thingie and ride, give a handy, or a messy blow?
> 
> When DH and I were dating we'd frequently have spontaneous clothed sex in the car, against a tree, on the porch swing, and so on. He usually got a bit of us on his boxers.
> 
> Anyways, you could try smelling the underwear. If he was with someone having clothed or semi clothed sex her fluids would likely be present and the scent of woman is distinct.


Yeah. I've led a somewhat adventurous life and made more than one mess in my shorts from adventurous romps.


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## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

Maybe it was a shart?


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## Wolf359 (Jun 10, 2010)

Ildeko said:


> Sorry in advance for the subject matter.
> I've been noticing a few soft red flags from my guy lately. In the 2.5 years we've been together I have never seen soiled undies until yesterday. Any way to tell if it just self pleasure or a sexual encounter. Paturns? I'm distraught and don't know what to think.please be blunt


Most males if they're going to go to a club,and be rubbed on by the female dancers. Most males prefer the camel toe slide. With lube thats a slight antiseptic. That way there's no chance of being infected by other diseases. Technically I guess it's not penetration. Just rubing.. so if he doesn't clean it off his underwear would look very messy. But that kind of lubricant doesn't dry very well.


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## Rooster Cogburn (10 mo ago)

Wolf359 said:


> .. the camel toe slide...


On a side note... I must admit. This is a new one on me. HAHA! And I have been around some heathens. 🤣


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## FakeNews001 (3 mo ago)

Ildeko said:


> Sorry in advance for the subject matter.
> I've been noticing a few soft red flags from my guy lately. In the 2.5 years we've been together I have never seen soiled undies until yesterday. Any way to tell if it just self pleasure or a sexual encounter. Paturns? I'm distraught and don't know what to think.please be blunt


99% probability no other person was involved (I looked it up).


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

If they are still stuck to the other woman’s forehead you can almost be certain it’s infidelity.


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## Jeffsmith35 (Apr 8, 2021)

I agree VAR is your next step. Read weightlifter's standard evidence post for the details of proper use to avoid detection. If he's cheating, it's likely they are doing it in his car. Have you noticed any strange hair on the passenger seat in the headrest area?


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## gameopoly5 (5 mo ago)

Ildeko said:


> Sorry in advance for the subject matter.
> I've been noticing a few soft red flags from my guy lately. In the 2.5 years we've been together I have never seen soiled undies until yesterday. Any way to tell if it just self pleasure or a sexual encounter. Paturns? I'm distraught and don't know what to think.please be blunt


I was told at a young age that too much masturbation will make me go blind and I used to believe it. But that`s getting off the subject.
It depends on how hygienic your boyfriend is.
If after he masturbates he puts on his underpants without cleaning himself or wipes the sperm off with his underpants than there will be sperm residue on them.
So yes, it is possible to have sperm stained underpants without having s*x with anyone else.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Jeffsmith35 said:


> I agree *VAR* is your next step.


We use it in football (as in soccer) in Europe...


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## Leeame (Apr 13, 2021)

Marriage counseling. Be honest with him about your concerns. Snooping makes you shady. 
If there is a trust issue it needs handled whether he's cheating or not. 
He should not dismiss your feelings. He should want to reassure you and help you guys become more stable and secure with each other. 
Don't lower yourself. Honest open communication is always the best route. If he doesn't care about how you feel than maybe the marriage should be reconsidered regardless.


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