# Trying to settle custody issue



## gettingout (Jan 15, 2013)

I may have asked this question last year (I am still not divorced). Do judges really not care if a parent cannot stay on top of schoolwork, medicine, constantly picks up child late (from school or gets child to school late), if child has gone to ER once because of parent's negligence, almost went a second time, etc etc? 

Ex is fighting me on parent of primary residence designation but I would have custody more than 50% (more like 60-40 but I would like it to be more like 70-30). Other parent barely does 40% now. Does not contribute or is interested in daily parenting details, is content to leave all medication/schoolwork/school accommodation plans & coordination (child has ADHD in addition to other things), extracurriculars, daily grunt work to me (same as before) ...is not active with school projects, sports, scouts, nothing. 

I think it's an ego thing. Stripped any reference to child's medical needs out of his side of the parenting plan. Ex only gets activated before a legal meeting and then slumps back down into non-active state.

Ex travels for work, sometimes with just a few days notice to clients, and will not be able to adhere to any sort of consistent schedule.

Last year I posted that he was drinking a lot; a mutual friend said he seems to have calmed down - at one point was out of control. His apartment is squalor, though. I imagine that if we go for a custody eval someone will help him clean it up.

Thank you for letting me vent. I ask this because some people tell me judges won't care because they deal with worse cases. Is he a "good enough" parent? That is the standard. This has been going on for 2 years. I am not trying to deny custody or even impose visitation, I just want to lessen risk. He doesn't really want him that much anyway - at most he has him 7 or 8 days a month. He has a busy and active social life.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Yes, judges really do care about consistent parenting efforts, clean homes, and meeting the needs of the child. All that is part of the "best interest of the child" standard upon which custody is determined.


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