# HELP!!! Sex with my wife is BOOORRRING!!



## LostDesperateConfused (Jan 3, 2015)

Ok, so this has been an ongoing issue for years and I really want to give you as much detail as possible to paint the picture so this maaaayy be a long post. So here I go.

I have been with my wife for a total of 13 years. We have been married for 7 of those years. Now, initially you may think we're this mid 30's couple maybe? Well we are only 25 years old(her) and 26 years old (me). Dated since we were 13, married fresh out of high school. We also have a 6 year old son. Right after high school I joined the Army and we moved from New York City to be stationed in NC. We grew up in a poor neighborhood of Brooklyn, so we loved life and got to see more of it because of my military success. Now sexually we were on track. We would have sex REGURALY. I would drive home on my lunch breaks and have sex with her, we would do it when i got home. She would wear lingerie, send me seductive texts during the day. Random pics/videos, she would dance seductively for me and occasionally we even tried new toys here and there. It was all fine and dandy. I considered myself to be like any other man, I wanted more wild stuff of course, but i was happy with my sex life and didn't complain. 

Fast forward a little, my military career was blowing up I progressed through the ranks but my wife really couldn't settle in to a real career she worked regular retail but she had a special craft and skill and wanted to follow her dreams. We had a nice house, nice cars, some money in the bank we damn sure were doing better than we ever dreamed coming from the hoods in brooklyn. The military gave me so many benefits I said F it you could have what you want, I could get out and take these skills into a civilian career. So i got out the Army, we moved back to NYC just so she could go to Cosmetology school, and I planned to use my GI Bill while working so the money was flowing for us! Immediately for me though things changed. I understood it though...maybe......or I just pretended to. The sex stopped! Constant turn downs, no more sex. She would complain she was tired from studying being on her feet all day. No problem! I get it, I've been worn out days in the army, and although I would STILL find the energy to have sex I knew her sex drive and mines were a lot different.

We constantly argued about not having sex. She kept saying give me time, ill do better, ill be better, its not me its the birth control and all other kind of bs excuses she could find. We would constantly split up because of this. She would get tired of me complaining about no sex and would go stay at her moms house. But I can't be quiet about my issues I'm ver vocal! Fast forward a little more, she graduated school and started working at one of the top hair salons in NYC on 5th ave and became this big thing. My wife is BEAUTIFUL if i haven't said so already, we both are well attractive very fashionable and stop the show and get eyes everywhere we go. She loved doing hair and her career blew up there, but we both hated NYC as a city and i missed the south. So we continued to argue about a lot of things...SEX...COMMUNICATIN....are my biggest gripes. Her answer "its NYC its so Expensive here we make all this money and still live in a OK apartment when we had a big house back down south for half the price"....."Id be the wife i used to be once we move back south, i built a name for myself in the hair world i can make it anywhere". Sounds like a plan to me, right?

We found the perfect southern city for us both to thrive, I applied for some jobs got hired and she did the same. So here we come were on our way. We come here get a NICE house buy NEW cars and start living the life, but still SEX IS JUST NOT HAPPENING. So again I talk to her about it... one night we got into a 2 hour conversation about what I want and what Im lacking. She says Ill do better, I say listen YOUVE BEEN SAYING YOULL BE BETTER FOR ALMOST 3 YEARS NOW, I'm tired of waiting. But because i love her i take her word.........months later.....still...... NOTHING. I want a sexual spontaneous talkative fun freaky seductive open minded wife. She USED TO BE those things. 

I've tried everything i thought.Maybe some more romance? I Had someone babysit our kid, we went out on the town had some drinks, then I say hey were gonna meet some of my friends at this hotel party, but really I had taken the entire day off work picked out this very sexy outfit with heels rented a nice hotel room. Rose pedals candles music scents EVERYTHING. I had it all set up, she walked into the room and started crying. She put on the things i brought, and she looked amazing. We smoked some MJ (sorry to all the non MJ people) joked around talked and began getting the sex on and MY GOD was it AMAZING. I felt every touch i got those chills back that i missed I felt her passion i felt everything we had some amazing sex. Im sure everyone on our floor could hear us. It was amazing. So i thought it would bring the sexual sparks back in our marriage because she really enjoyed the night. I was wrong.

Since that day it has still been down hill. Its like we had 1 good night and it ended the minute we stepped foot out of that hotel. Ive tried things like that at home and still the sex is BORING. My wife NEVER comes on to me, when we have sex I don't feel her PASSION just feels like she's going thru the motions because she knows ill complain tomorrow when i get turned down. When i come on to her and we start doing things once she start making moves she's lazy, shell just touch me very non passionately almost like a kid. IVE BROUGHT MY WIFE ABOUT 500 BUCKS WORTH OF VICTORIA SECRETS PANTIE AND BRA SETS because i love to see a woman with matching bra and panties....till this day SHE HAS NOT WORE ONE SET.....she wears the same panties/thongs every week... wash them and then wears them again next week and wears the same 2 bras black/white every day!! She doesn't do anything SPONTANEOUS. Nothing!!! Im so bored with her its driving me crazy because I've been trying to get it right for over 3 years and Idk if i should just leave or not! What drove me to write this long ass post is what happened last night.

We were watching tv and Ive just been horny and raging for days and waiting on her to come on to me. I couldn't take it no more i start kissing on her grabbing on her etc. So she grabs my junk and starts rubbing but no passion...i can't even explain....and then she pulls it out and starts rubbing....and it hurts....so i tell her losen up.....so she goes down....grabs a pillow lays on it and starts giving me oral....A PILLOW...REALLY!!!!?? How lazy!!! I literally just lay there quiet no moan not a move or anything i don't even feel her sucking its so bad. And she knows I'm a loud moaner and squirmer.....so wtf are you waiting on to turn up? She sucks for about 1 min and then wants to hop on top...Im like wait like wth you're moving too fast. Idk its too much to even keep going. Sex with my wife is boring. I just lay there and be quiet and think about what kind of fun i could be having with other woman if i found the balls to leave. She gives me good sex maybe 3 times a year and GREAT sex maybe twice. On a regular we have sex once a week. Boring non passionate non chill getting toe curling sex. She doesn't TRY to do anything i complain about.... and I HAVE A BIG SEXUAL APPETITE i love to try new things have fun experiment with my body as well as hers. I cry myself to sleep because of the lack of sex. What should i DO help!


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