# Fake Ring



## sarah2285 (May 9, 2012)

I accidently found out that my engagement ring is not a diamond but a cz. Doesn't sound like a big deal, but I had an arranged marriage...

Throughout my whole engagement period, this man and his family bragged and bragged about being so rich and having such a great job, house, car, investments etc. etc. 

Not only that, but when a friend of mine got married, my husband and his mother both commented and laughed at how small of a diamond that she got versus what I had.

After I got married, everything started to become more clear, that the house they lived in was rented, the car was a company car, the job he lost a few months after our marriage. (Actually, I'm not even sure if he had the job, he never took me to work even though I insisted that I wanted to just even see it from outside).

When I told my mom about things that bothered me, she told me to ignore them and that things don't matter as long as you have a good husband.

Well, I lived with his family and long story short-- they didnt want a daughter in law and didn't get along. They expected me to be a live-in maid which I could just not do. I convinced my husband to move somehow and came to live near my parents.

Then, my husband started mooching off my parents, they gave him part of their small business and he pretty much took over only giving them a couple hundred dollars in profit each month.

I have never been too happy in all of this, but I had a child in between and tried to just deal with it and my mom would assure me that everything would be okay.

And 3.5 years after marriage, I find out that the ring he and his mother bought me is a fake. It's not 12,000 but more like 500. 

Not only that, but his family bought me diamond earings when our child was born and those are fake too. 

I just don't know what to do or how to confront him or his mother or his family. I don't think I want a divorce as long as he accepts his lies and gives me what I deserve.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Well... I can see that the fake gems wouldn't be a big deal if he actually provided for you and your child.. however.. he sounds like he had a plot from the beginning and was only after you for your money.. or rather your parents. I can understand NOT wanting a divorce for the sake of the child.. but if i were you.. I wouldn't stay with a man who only married me for my money/ inheritance.


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## eowyn (Mar 22, 2012)

Ask him 1:1 and see what he says about the ring. Also, _make sure your husband doesn't swindle your parents since he doesn't seem worthy of being trusted (ask your parents not to sign any papers without reading them, and ask them to stay involved in the business that he is looking after, or you can involve yourself as well to keep a watch)_

Also see if you can find his employment records to validate if at all he was ever employed, validate his certificates if he told you he has some kind of a degree (BS, MS...) Validate anything and everything that you feel is speculative and then decide what needs to be done.


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## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

Why do women have to pay the price? Why do women have to be married off and sold like cattle? Why can't some women choose who to marry? I know culture is a big deal and I am a spoiled American girl, but I feel so angry that arranged marriages are still going on in the world. Even marriages that are not arranged go badly, imagine marrying someone you don't know or even like!

So you get a fake husband (someone you are not in love with), a fake ring, and fake presents from them. Is there any way to get out of this? Do you have to stick it out because of tradition?


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## River1977 (Oct 25, 2010)

Find someone to check the books if you are not well-educated in accounting. Your husband is swindler and a liar. He is bleeding the business dry. His parents are living well off of your parents' business.

Also, did he ever receive tax returns from that year he said he worked? I don't know if your country does tax returns every year but here in the US, if he worked only worked one week, he'd receive W2 forms and have to file for a return. An accountant, tax attorney, or a private investigator can find out if and where he ever worked.

Why would you want to stay married to a man like him? Confessing won't change who or how he is. He will still be the same and will still continue lying and swindling.


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## cory275 (Aug 11, 2011)

i dunno how important it is to you to prove previous employment.. seems like a waste to me. if you had an arranged marriage, i'm assuming you're indian/pakistani/bangali... and all i can say for you is... i feel for you. im white american and my hubs is pakistani. my husband is a comulsive liar... and its never about anything important. how much he paid for his car 3 years ago... the lavish life his parents had because they owned an advertising agency. well, i found the recepit for what he paid for his car.. and i saw his parents bedroom on skype. lavish my a$$. he lies about what time he left for work or whether or not he took a shower.. just stupid crap. but its all to make himself look better. i think impression is very important to everyone..but the difference is some people will go to almost any length to prove it. things like dignity are lost on people like my husband..and he's a hustler at heart. once he got the idea to sell male enhancement pills because they have a high profit margin.. until i convinced him that it'd be embarassing for me to have my hubs sell sex pills for a living. 

my ring to me is symbolic. when i'm unhappily married i dont wear my ring. its a reminder to me that being married is ALWAYS my personal decision. it reminds me to consider the life i would have without him. personally... i wouldnt wear a ring that wasnt real. like i said, the ring to me is symbolic of marriage and (to me) love. if you're wearing a fake symbol what does that say about what it represents? 

i would encourage your parents to take back their business. maybe you could work there for a while to make sure things are going well... maybe even save up some money for a rainy day. maybe remind your husbnd that yes it is a family business.. but he shouldnt be in charge of everything about it until it is inherited. maybe until then suggest he find something else. remind him that messing with your parent's finances are going to have an impact on him because he's going to be responsible for his in-laws when they're of a certain age. 

does he have any ultimate goals as far as a profession? maybe push him a little in that direction. 

best wishes!


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