# snooping for texts / sexts



## Prudence222 (Jun 25, 2014)

Does anyone know of a ligit program/software/website that would allow me to read the texts on my cheating husbands iphone if I don't know his password?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Do you know the user ID and password for his Apple iTunes account?

Does he back up his iPhone via iTunes on a Mac or PC and, if so, do you have access to it?

_Posted via *Topify* using iPhone/iPad_


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## ReidWright (May 15, 2014)

wondershare dr. fone for ios

just plug it in and scan it...takes a while, so you'll physical access to it for 30 minutes or more

it'll show the deleted texts too


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## roostr (Oct 20, 2012)

The software I now use is to pick it up and look at it, if she dont like it she dont like it, but thats how I handle things now. I've been through the stage about being cautious trying to gather information. But after waking up I realize the best approach is the direct approach. If there is nothing to hide, then he might whine a little but it shouldn't be any big deal. If he suddenly gets all defensive, that should tell you he is definitely hiding something, then you can simply to the the voice recorder in the car, aka, (secret phone booth). 

The thing is, after being betrayed, I've become a harder person. Kind of numb I guess you could call it. I believe that if you have questions and want answers, don't beat around the bush and play detective. Use a more direct approach and go after the answers. 

If I had taken this approach when my wife was screwing around either a. I would have found out a lot sooner, or b. might have even prevented it if I knew things were at that point. 

It just saves you a lot of suffering. Try to catch him in the right mood and grab his phone and look at it. If its pass worded ask why the hell it is and make him open it for you. I can tell you from experience that the phone is the single most useful tool to a cheater. My problem was, when she caught on that I was on to the phone thing, she went to a pre-pay. These people are experts at deception. Fight fire with fire.


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## Allen_A (Nov 18, 2013)

If you are confident he's cheating, then why do you need texts? Most courts won't care about them anyways.

If you know he's cheating, then address that. Marriage doesn't mean you turn into Sherlock Holmes.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Allen_A said:


> If you are confident he's cheating, then why do you need texts? Most courts won't care about them anyways.
> 
> If you know he's cheating, then address that. Marriage doesn't mean you turn into Sherlock Holmes.


You want to know the details for peace of mind. Most errant / cheating partners will insist that "it was only [whatever]." Minimization at its worst and no introspection. 

If you have any interest in reconciling, you will at least want to know what you are forgiving. 

I was glad to see the messages between them. Next time, I will know, he wasn't just having a bad day, for example, something was going on.


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## Allen_A (Nov 18, 2013)

Reading intimate texts your wife or husband sends to a third party trespasser does not leave you with peace of mind... it leaves you further traumatized.

If she's confident he's cheating, she needs to act on that, not play Columbo while things get worse.


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## OnTheRocks (Sep 26, 2011)

How can one be confident of anything without seeing proof?


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## Allen_A (Nov 18, 2013)

OnTheRocks said:


> How can one be confident of anything without seeing proof?


If you ask to see your spouse's cell phone, and they won't hand it over... they are keeping something from you that you would divorce them for.

There ARE warning signs of infidelity... LOTS of websites list them.

If you find all those signs are there, then you can act as if they are cheating. To my mind that's enough.

This is not an episode of Matlock. You do not need to catch them having sex before acting on the problem.

If they won't cooperate like an adult, you have to assume the worst and act on it.

Sorry, but innocent until proven guilty does not work in the private household.


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## OnTheRocks (Sep 26, 2011)

Do you have kids and/or direct experience with infidelity in your marriage to substantiate your opinion? 

Personally, I was not willing to break up my daughter's home based on a hunch and some circumstantial evidence. If your radar goes up, it's better to check into things quietly, IMO.


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## gmsisko1 (May 25, 2014)

Allen_A said:


> If you ask to see your spouse's cell phone, and they won't hand it over... they are keeping something from you that you would divorce them for.
> 
> There ARE warning signs of infidelity... LOTS of websites list them.
> 
> ...



I see your point, but with the proper tools, you can find out for sure usually within a week. 
(Live a voice activated recorder)
The other school of thought is, why risk damaging your marriage if they are innocent?


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Allen_A said:


> If you ask to see your spouse's cell phone, and they won't hand it over... they are keeping something from you that you would divorce them for.
> 
> There ARE warning signs of infidelity... LOTS of websites list them.
> 
> ...


yeah, yeah, yeah, obviously you like drama.


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