# sex...............



## new1 (Apr 21, 2011)

Hi I am embarrassed to ask this but I need to know. I have been married for 8+ years and I have never feel any pleasure when my husband penetrates me, is this normal?. I have orgasms with oral sex or when me/he masturbates me but never when he is inside me. Please anybody else feel this way or is just me???


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I think yours is a very common situation. You might start by redefining the term, "pleasure". Do you enjoy the closeness and intimacy with your husband? Does it give you satisfaction to know you are meeting his needs? Do you find the foreplay pleasurable? Seems like a small thing, but if you fixate primarily on what you feel in your vagina during intercourse, you might decide you aren't getting anything pleasurable from sex so it's a waste of your time. You know what makes your body tick and you obviously can have orgasms. If you talk to him and guide him and he makes a sincere effort to please you, I think y'all can work this out. The intimacy you share with your husband might not look like what you see in the movies or read about in romance novels, but if it works and strengthens the marriage, it's all good. I'm not a woman (obviously) but seems logical to me that experimentation is in order. Your plumbing works like it should, so if you don't orgasm during full intercourse, he's not doing it the way you need or maybe you're starting intercourse before you're physically, mentally, and emotionally ready, or he isn't stimulating the right place long enough. How about experimenting alone with a vibrator or a dildo? With no performance pressures, you could figure out what works and what doesn't and then use that knowledge to guide your husband.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

For what it's worth, there's actually quite a lot of quality information on tantric sex positions online, YouTube. One of things they address is sex positions which are intended to heighten sexual pleasure for women during vaginal intercourse. You gals have a bit a geometry you have to deal with in terms of the angle of attack we men plunge ourselves into you.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

When you say "pleasure", do you mean that you aren't able to orgasm during penetration? If so, that is a very common thing with women - most women need more than just penetration to get there. I don't orgasm at all with penetration only.


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## jenis (Feb 9, 2011)

I have a similar issue. However, i've got a lot of extra baggage in the form of a sexual dysfunction that i won't go into, but thankfully we're working through it.

From a mechanical perspective, certain positions I find more pleasurable than others, and using a vibrator has helped what I can only describe as 're-awakening' of some vaginal nerves. But I believe that the biggest help for me personally has been mental. I have a deeper and stronger relationship with my husband than I had prior to now, and it has made a huge impact on my desire to please him. Which, in turn has made it more of a turn on and pleasurable for me.

We're all wired up differently, but keep working on it, and hang in there!


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## new1 (Apr 21, 2011)

Hi and thank you for your replies. I have pleasure from oral sex, and touching me, but never from penetration. I feel nothing when he is "pumping me" sometimes it hurts specially the "doggie style" or when I am in top, I have never insert a vibrator because I don't feel anything inside. Is it normal to only have orgasms/pleasure outside of your vagina? in your clitoris?


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

More common than you think. If it really worries you go see a gynecologist and see what she can do to stimulate your genital blood flow, and/or improve your vaginal neuro muscular response.


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## mary35 (Jul 18, 2010)

From articles I have read, only 30% of women have orgasms from penetration only, the rest don't. So new1, you are one of the majority! As am I - don't worry, we are perfectly normal! Find a way to stimulate your clitoris (with hands - yours or his or vibrator) while he is penetrating you if you want to feel pleasure during intercourse. Otherwise, take turns giving each other pleasure. 

BTW, the pain during intercourse could be as simple as not enough lubrication. Try using some lube and see if that helps. If not, talk to your doctor.


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