# Is it better to write a letter or call to end it



## SOLONELY85 (Mar 1, 2012)

My husband and I have come to the assumption after almost 6 years of his family trying to sabotage our marriage (which was actually said from there mouth) and from there rude snyde remarks, trying to tell us how to raise our girls. We are fed up and want all of this to be over. Do we write a letter or call? Remember these people are not normal they think screaming and calling eachother horrible things is normal. Please help.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Letter.


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## s.k (Feb 27, 2010)

What do you mean call it an end??? do you mean cut all ties with them??? If you want to express your feelings towards them then I would suggest that you sit them down and talk about it. They may scream and shout but it would be better for you and your husband to know that you did things the right way.


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## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

that_girl said:


> Letter.


:iagree:

Writing a letter bars any interruption by the reciver, lets the writer be most succinct in what is being expressed.

I did one to MIL in which I precisely described why I felt disrespected even dishonored by an action she chose to do and what that action/choice was that made me feel that way. So far, no response from her other than "don't condone what is happening...". She knows now how I feel about that specific incident and why.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

how bout move and forget to inform any of them.


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

Face to Face talk would be better....
But, if that will only lead to arguments & them trying to manipulate your hubs,, then letter.


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## UCanTalk (Mar 17, 2009)

I wouldn't waste your energy with either. If they are trying to interfere with your relationship I suspect whatever mode you use to communicate they are incapable of listening. 

Remember you do have a choice, that is why i said if they are "trying to interfere". You choose to let them or not. If you choose to not let them interfere you need say anything to them.


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

Write a letter (for your own peace of mind if it will help you feel better) or just cease all communication. You have given them plenty of times to accept your marriage and your boundaries. If they have not come to terms by now, they need a sturn message now.. and that is to sever contact.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

A letter
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SOLONELY85 (Mar 1, 2012)

Thank You all for your help, I feel so good after 6 years of never being accepted and treated horrible that I finally have a back bone and wont let them ruin my family, his sister who I speak of never even came to our wedding, daughters baptisms, babyshower,etc, and then still has the nerve to say how to raise are children and say how I have taken her brother away, and cant wait untill he leaves me so he will come back to her. I'm still trying to decide a proper way to end it sort of amicably, but honestly I don't think anyway we do it will end well. Thank you all for your suggestions.


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## SOLONELY85 (Mar 1, 2012)

2nd_t!me iz_best said:


> how bout move and forget to inform any of them.


I like the way you think I wish it was that easy or we would have left like 5 years ago lol.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

However you do it - whether letter or call - be willing to continue to enforce the boundary that you have set if they continue to cross it. It is only by you and your H doing this consistently that will make any difference.


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## SOLONELY85 (Mar 1, 2012)

So tried calling her h couldnt really get a word in she said I broke up there family but with no explanation why, said she hopes I dont turn my back on my h because he will have no one. Then started screaming and when h said I was the one after an argument that they had brought them together she really didnt want to hear it, I was crazy to think she would take any blame for her actions, I had heard from someone before that she cant wait until her brother leaves me so he can come back to her which is kind of creepy to me. We are happy and this has only made us stronger I just think some people are so miserable and alone they dont want other people to be happy. We will pray for her and hope one day maybe things can be normal with the family.


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## SOLONELY85 (Mar 1, 2012)

We did write a letter after and sent it.


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

I would go no contact at this point, your H needs to stay on board with you. If they ever want to try again, your going to have to maintain some strict boundaries. Good luck.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

SOLONELY85 said:


> We did write a letter after and sent it.


Yay. Good. And it sounds like he helped with the letter, so in agreement with you. 
Then have a mini celebration (ie a dinner out) , to celebrate your lives going on without this hinderence.
j


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Drive your car through the front of their house in case they don't get subtlety.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> Drive your car through the front of their house in case they don't get subtlety.


that was going to be my second suggestion


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## SOLONELY85 (Mar 1, 2012)

Cherry said:


> I would go no contact at this point, your H needs to stay on board with you. If they ever want to try again, your going to have to maintain some strict boundaries. Good luck.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You are definitely right about that, and if they want a relationship I think we will need to all sit down and understand that my h and I stand together so they need to know their place. Thank you


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## memyselfandi (Jan 10, 2012)

Rather than put it in writing or a phone call..to me..silence is golden..let em wonder.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I know that you wrote/sent the letter already. But I vote for saying as little as possible. In the future if they contact you just don't respond with more than a few words. "I"m busy now, bye."

It is futal to explain to the type of people you describe. They will not have some great moment of understanding and get what you are saying. It will only be more evidence of how 'what ever' you are . After all look.. you did break up the family. Your husband will no longer talk to them. 

Silence from here on out. I have no doubt that they are plotting right now how they will come back at you and punish you and your husband for this letter you wrote.


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