# Husband wont keep a job..considering divorce!



## Amy6789 (9 mo ago)

Hello, LONG POST ALERT VENTING at the moment I am seriously considering divorce. I resent my husband each day I wake up and im just not happy anymore! I met him when I was in high school at the age of 15, I got pregnant at 16 by him. He was basically raised by his aunt because his parents always moved around from different places living with different people never keeping a job. When I got pregnant he was living with his aunt, when he mom got the news they came and moved him away. After we both graduated we got back together had another baby. Two kids in when we started having adult issues. He got into some trouble had to do some time, and when he got out I had got established with my own everything and was taking care of our two boys alone. 

When he got out he moved in with me I helped him find a job and get on his feet, ofcoarse he cheated me being naive I get pregnant again. All through my third pregnancy all he did was cheat, smoke weed, never kept a job. Blamed me for the problems we have, because I was diagnosed with bipolar depression after trying to commit suicide in high school after having our first son. I still struggle alot with my depression and anxiety. I regret marrying him in 2019 because he never proposed, I went out my way brought cheap rings planned a cheap wedding all because I wanted a husband. After getting married we got evicted from our home and lost our vehicle. Then we were living with family to family, hotel to hotel, doing what we can to get by. During that time of homeless I got pregnant with my only daughter so now that makes 4 kids we have. 

Year after year its something with him, not to mention he has two sisters and a mom who always think its okay to hold their hand out when none of them ask about my kids let alone try to make the effort to see them. I resent his mom and sisters I don't like them I feel tension everytime I'm around them. Each year he will work for a short amount of time and just quit the job because he don't like the job anymore and won't work for months and months at a time. I've always worked since graduating after having my son, even when I didn't work I ran a business bringing in some sort of income. While pregnant with our daughter I was living with my parents until we got on our feet and he was living with a friend. 

Once he started back working during my pregnancy and after us being homeless and the toll it had on me I thought he would change. We ended up getting a home a new vehicle, but then some in him just made him quit and its been a year now and he hasn't worked since. He got hired for a job on the spot days ago manager position making good money plus bonuses he went one day and didn't go back the next because he complained he didn't work with the kids schedule when I had everything situated so we can work around things so he could work that job. I even got him hired at my job working from home they hired him and he didn't start training. 

The place we live in right now is in his name. We have joint accounts but I have opened a second one to save for me and my kids. I've had to work double shifts to pick up the slack of him not working. Not to mention he doesn't bond with the children we made together. He is always fussing at them. We have amazing kids straight As and Bs no behavior issues. I have a great bond with them they come to me about anything, and he doesn't like that either. He says I'm to soft on our kids, but I don't think so. Boys need love and affection just as much as girls and I give my boys the same love I show my daughter no less because I don't want them to grow up being mean men or having to heal from their past. 

He need help he talks about me as a person and mom, when I am having an episode not feeling well depressed he says its nothing wrong with me its all in my head, I'm fake I'm crazy. If I try to leave the house while upset he will push me back and beat me upside my head. Moments where I just felt like hurting myself he would hit me instead of trying to calm me down and let me know things will be okay. 

I deleted his number from my phone he puts it back in there under husband. He is a real deal physciopath. I just want to get away so me and my kids can live our lives happily. He doesn't see an issue with his actions, I can't talk to him about how I feel without him getting offended. To make things worst his mom is the worst mom ever yes I said it, she don't do anything she been living on welfare holding her hand out all her life let alone don't even drive. She doesn't care about anything. When we was homeless she was asking him for money going to his job when we was homeless trying to get money from him. 

When he was in a car accident days later she asked him for money saying his sister helped her on rent she didn't want to ask her like woman get a job she don't do nun but sit at home expecting other people to give her stuff. The woman has gone as far as to block her son when he told her no he didn't have it. Whew its so much more I just want to be happy for a change.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

It's really hard for me to understand why you would ever want to be with a lazy irresponsible and violent man. 
Just leave and have a better life for you and the children.


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

He's a lazy POS. Get rid of him.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Amy6789 said:


> Hello, LONG POST ALERT VENTING at the moment I am seriously considering divorce. I resent my husband each day I wake up and im just not happy anymore! I met him when I was in high school at the age of 15, I got pregnant at 16 by him. He was basically raised by his aunt because his parents always moved around from different places living with different people never keeping a job. When I got pregnant he was living with his aunt, when he mom got the news they came and moved him away. After we both graduated we got back together had another baby. Two kids in when we started having adult issues. He got into some trouble had to do some time, and when he got out I had got established with my own everything and was taking care of our two boys alone. When he got out he moved in with me I helped him find a job and get on his feet, ofcoarse he cheated me being naive I get pregnant again. All through my third pregnancy all he did was cheat, smoke weed, never kept a job. Blamed me for the problems we have, because I was diagnosed with bipolar depression after trying to commit suicide in high school after having our first son. I still struggle alot with my depression and anxiety. I regret marrying him in 2019 because he never proposed, I went out my way brought cheap rings planned a cheap wedding all because I wanted a husband. After getting married we got evicted from our home and lost our vehicle. Then we were living with family to family, hotel to hotel, doing what we can to get by. During that time of homeless I got pregnant with my only daughter so now that makes 4 kids we have. Year after year its something with him, not to mention he has two sisters and a mom who always think its okay to hold their hand out when none of them ask about my kids let alone try to make the effort to see them. I resent his mom and sisters I don't like them I feel tension everytime I'm around them. Each year he will work for a short amount of time and just quit the job because he don't like the job anymore and won't work for months and months at a time. I've always worked since graduating after having my son, even when I didn't work I ran a business bringing in some sort of income. While pregnant with our daughter I was living with my parents until we got on our feet and he was living with a friend. Once he started back working during my pregnancy and after us being homeless and the toll it had on me I thought he would change. We ended up getting a home a new vehicle, but then some in him just made him quit and its been a year now and he hasn't worked since. He got hired for a job on the spot days ago manager position making good money plus bonuses he went one day and didn't go back the next because he complained he didn't work with the kids schedule when I had everything situated so we can work around things so he could work that job. I even got him hired at my job working from home they hired him and he didn't start training. The place we live in right now is in his name. We have joint accounts but I have opened a second one to save for me and my kids. I've had to work double shifts to pick up the slack of him not working. Not to mention he doesn't bond with the children we made together. He is always fussing at them. We have amazing kids straight As and Bs no behavior issues. I have a great bond with them they come to me about anything, and he doesn't like that either. He says I'm to soft on our kids, but I don't think so. Boys need love and affection just as much as girls and I give my boys the same love I show my daughter no less because I don't want them to grow up being mean men or having to heal from their past. He need help he talks about me as a person and mom, when I am having an episode not feeling well depressed he says its nothing wrong with me its all in my head, I'm fake I'm crazy. If I try to leave the house while upset he will push me back and beat me upside my head. Moments where I just felt like hurting myself he would hit me instead of trying to calm me down and let me know things will be okay. I deleted his number from my phone he puts it back in there under husband. He is a real deal physciopath. I just want to get away so me and my kids can live our lives happily. He doesn't see an issue with his actions, I can't talk to him about how I feel without him getting offended. To make things worst his mom is the worst mom ever yes I said it, she don't do anything she been living on welfare holding her hand out all her life let alone don't even drive. She doesn't care about anything. When we was homeless she was asking him for money going to his job when we was homeless trying to get money from him. When he was in a car accident days later she asked him for money saying his sister helped her on rent she didn't want to ask her like woman get a job she don't do nun but sit at home expecting other people to give her stuff. The woman has gone as far as to block her son when he told her no he didn't have it. Whew its so much more I just want to be happy for a change.


The apple didn't fall far from the tree with your husband and his mother. Chances are he will be that way for the rest of his life, just like she is. 

This man is lazy, a bad father, emotionally abusive, and physically abusive. You have already been supporting yourself and your children for years, so you know you can keep doing it. It also sounds like maybe you have support around you (like your mother?) that could help until you are back on your feet. 

I know it's easy to say "leave" but it really does sound like the best situation for you and the kids. 

It wouldn't be wise to just pack up and go, though. You really need to talk to a lawyer first. If you need a restraining order against him, you may need evidence to back up your claim (a parent obtaining a restraining order also sometimes protects the kids as well). You need to discuss custody before you just leave with the kids and he goes to court to file for emergency custody, which would put the kids in his care. You also have the issue that you have been financially supporting him for months/years, so you could be on the hook for alimony.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

bobert said:


> The apple didn't fall far from the tree with your husband and his mother. Chances are he will be that way for the rest of his life, just like she is.
> 
> This man is lazy, a bad father, emotionally abusive, and physically abusive. You have already been supporting yourself and your children for years, so you know you can keep doing it. It also sounds like maybe you have support around you (like your mother?) that could help until you are back on your feet.
> 
> ...


This is really, really, really good advice, OP. I would do exactly this.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

He’s never going to charge. He’s lazy and likes living that way.
Right now you are your biggest problem. Unless you fix that nothing changes.


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