# My father in law flipped



## Zija Reno (Apr 15, 2017)

Hey guys new to forum but im kinda lost im 25 years old and my fiancé have been together for 3 years we get married here in 5 months I thought I've always had a good relationship with her parents. They always offer to help us and always say they have out ourbest interest in mind. I thought me and her father were in a good relationship he cried when I asked him for his daughters hand in marriage. Tonight we go out for dinner and everything is going good my fiancé leaves to go to the bathro and all of a sudden he snaps out of no where telling me basically im a loser and that he is getting a prenup ( he is very wealthy) together and im going to sign it whether I like it or not and that I won't say anything to my fiancé! He was just going off on me etc. my fiancé walked up in the middle of his rant before I could get a word off and she heard the jist of it.
I had to go to the bathroom and we were done with dinner I got up and walked to the bathroom I came outside and they were arguing we went our seperate ways.
Im super pissed because I thought we had a "relationship" and all this happened I don't even know what to do but im so upset about this I honestly don't even think it's his business if we get a prenup or not. Has this happened to anyone or is it just me and what do I do?


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Zija Reno said:


> Hey guys new to forum but im kinda lost im 25 years old and my fiancé have been together for 3 years we get married here in 5 months I thought I've always had a good relationship with her parents. They always offer to help us and always say they have out ourbest interest in mind. I thought me and her father were in a good relationship he cried when I asked him for his daughters hand in marriage. Tonight we go out for dinner and everything is going good my fiancé leaves to go to the bathro and all of a sudden he snaps out of no where telling me basically im a loser and that he is getting a prenup ( he is very wealthy) together and im going to sign it whether I like it or not and that I won't say anything to my fiancé! He was just going off on me etc. my fiancé walked up in the middle of his rant before I could get a word off and she heard the jist of it.
> I had to go to the bathroom and we were done with dinner I got up and walked to the bathroom I came outside and they were arguing we went our seperate ways.
> Im super pissed because I thought we had a "relationship" and all this happened I don't even know what to do but im so upset about this I honestly don't even think it's his business if we get a prenup or not. Has this happened to anyone or is it just me and what do I do?


Well was he correct, are you a loser?Do you work or go to school,how do you support yourselves.You haven't given much information away so depending on your circumstances the advice given will be different.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Zija Reno said:


> Hey guys new to forum but im kinda lost im 25 years old and my fiancé have been together for 3 years we get married here in 5 months I thought I've always had a good relationship with her parents. They always offer to help us and always say they have out ourbest interest in mind. I thought me and her father were in a good relationship he cried when I asked him for his daughters hand in marriage. Tonight we go out for dinner and everything is going good my fiancé leaves to go to the bathro and all of a sudden he snaps out of no where telling me basically im a loser and that he is getting a prenup ( he is very wealthy) together and im going to sign it whether I like it or not and that I won't say anything to my fiancé! He was just going off on me etc. my fiancé walked up in the middle of his rant before I could get a word off and she heard the jist of it.
> I had to go to the bathroom and we were done with dinner I got up and walked to the bathroom I came outside and they were arguing we went our seperate ways.
> Im super pissed because I thought we had a "relationship" and all this happened I don't even know what to do but im so upset about this I honestly don't even think it's his business if we get a prenup or not. Has this happened to anyone or is it just me and what do I do?


*So please tell us more about yourself, your job, your ambitions, your home life, and whether either of you work outside the home! 

From a legal perspective, while your FIL may not be able to make you sign a pre or a post-nuptial, he certainly sounds as if he has more than just the tangible resources with which to make your life a "living hell," and would not think twice about doing just that!*


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

His approach and timing was less than appropriate but maybe his reasoning was sound. As others have asked what do you bring to the table or what potentials do you have? I'm also curious what your fiancee is bringing to the table right now and what her potentials are.

No doubt you have a big job in front of you, no father wants to see his children struggle (well except guys like me that think it builds resourcefulness). You are going to have to prove yourself and right then and there would have been a great time to hash some things out, certainly don't avoid this issue, call him today and go have a talk.


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## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

Zija Reno said:


> Hey guys new to forum but im kinda lost im 25 years old and my fiancé have been together for 3 years we get married here in 5 months I thought I've always had a good relationship with her parents. They always offer to help us and always say they have out ourbest interest in mind. I thought me and her father were in a good relationship he cried when I asked him for his daughters hand in marriage. Tonight we go out for dinner and everything is going good my fiancé leaves to go to the bathro and all of a sudden he snaps out of no where telling me basically im a loser and that he is getting a prenup ( he is very wealthy) together and im going to sign it whether I like it or not and that I won't say anything to my fiancé! He was just going off on me etc. my fiancé walked up in the middle of his rant before I could get a word off and she heard the jist of it.
> I had to go to the bathroom and we were done with dinner I got up and walked to the bathroom I came outside and they were arguing we went our seperate ways.
> Im super pissed because I thought we had a "relationship" and all this happened I don't even know what to do but im so upset about this I honestly don't even think it's his business if we get a prenup or not. Has this happened to anyone or is it just me and what do I do?


You're in a tough spot man. It will start with this, then every little issue he feels he needs to get involved in he will because he'll see you as weak.

He wouldn't have said this if you were wealthy yourself or from a wealthy family. The worst thing is having a domineering father undermining you at every turn. If they have a good relationship quite simply you're f*cked.

I'd be more concerned by a man who "cries" on one hand then flips around and tries to strong arm you.

You and him need to have a man to man talk and hash this out.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Sounds like "Meet the Fockers".


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## Jessica38 (Feb 28, 2017)

I agree, this is very inappropriate. You need to talk to to your fiancé about what happened and see how she reacts. Tell your future father in law in no uncertain terms that you and your fiancé do not keep secrets from each other.

You'll need firm boundaries with the in-laws to make this marriage work. Make sure your fiancé is on-board and capable of implementing them and putting your marriage first. As long as you continue to take financial support from your in-laws, they will have the ability to control you.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How does he intent to have you sign a prenup and your fiancé not know about it? A prenup is a contract between you and your fiancé, not you and her father.

Also, is your fiancé wealthy? Or is it just her father (or parents) who are wealthy?

What percentage of your fiancé and your joint income do you earn?


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Your prospective FIL was wrong to present the pre-nup. The would be considered "under duress" and may in some states annul the agreement. Do research that for yourself.

Is this like Thoroughly Modern Millie (with Mary Tyler Moore, great movie) or did you always know or at least have an idea that your fiance would come into some money fairly soon?

In any case, this is an issue that she should present to you AND own, not let her father do the talking. You're not marrying him. But he will be accessory to your marriage, so give it some thought.

I hate saying, but it will be worth it here: Talk to a lawyer. Is she really going to come into that much money? Plus, what's her financial position now? Student loans? Or did her parents pay for everything?

Has she finished at least an undergraduate degree or will you be hit for that cost?

One thing is certain, he started it. Now that he has, ask enough questions so that you can make an informed decision.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

This is a glimpse into your future. I'm engaged, and it's true what they say ...''you marry the family.'' Thankfully, both my fiance and I like each other's parents, but if his mom or dad were to blow up at me and call me names, I might have to wonder what I was getting myself into. What does your fiancee think?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

WOW! Sorry about that!

Not his place to act like that.

He would have just made an enemy of me.

I would tell my fiancé what happened and that I wanted nothing to do with him.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

Andy1001 said:


> Well was he correct, are you a loser?Do you work or go to school,how do you support yourselves.You haven't given much information away so depending on your circumstances the advice given will be different.




I agree we need more information. The part where you wrote that they always offer to help you. What does that mean? What kind of help? Monetary? Why do they need to help you?


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Whether he is a loser or not or whether the prenup is necessary seems to totally miss the point: who delivers it like this?

If I had this kind of crap thrown at me like that, I would excuse myself to go and have anal with the daughter. On the prenup.

(How do you sign a prenup with your father in law anyway? )


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

Why should you inherit his property? I am leaving my estate to my kids on their spouses. No prenuptial agreement and they get nothing. I am not working my butt off for someone else to walk away with half. 

Look at it from his point of view. Talk it over with her and see where she stands on this.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

brooklynAnn said:


> Why should you inherit his property? I am leaving my estate to my kids not their spouses. No prenuptial agreement and they get nothing. I am not working my butt off for someone else to walk away with half.
> 
> Look at it from his point of view. Talk it over with her and see where she stands on this.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Zija Reno said:


> Hey guys new to forum but im kinda lost im 25 years old and my fiancé have been together for 3 years we get married here in 5 months I thought I've always had a good relationship with her parents. They always offer to help us and always say they have out ourbest interest in mind. I thought me and her father were in a good relationship he cried when I asked him for his daughters hand in marriage. Tonight we go out for dinner and everything is going good my fiancé leaves to go to the bathro and all of a sudden he snaps out of no where telling me basically im a loser and that he is getting a prenup ( he is very wealthy) together and im going to sign it whether I like it or not and that I won't say anything to my fiancé! He was just going off on me etc. my fiancé walked up in the middle of his rant before I could get a word off and she heard the jist of it.
> I had to go to the bathroom and we were done with dinner I got up and walked to the bathroom I came outside and they were arguing we went our seperate ways.
> Im super pissed because I thought we had a "relationship" and all this happened I don't even know what to do but im so upset about this I honestly don't even think it's his business if we get a prenup or not. Has this happened to anyone or is it just me and what do I do?


It certainly wasn't "all of a sudden". It sounds like your fiancé has to pick her side and I'm about 99% positive the side of a prenup would send me packing. But you'll have to decide that one if it comes to it.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

A prenup with him? Crazy and meaningless. If you get married to her and she inherits or is gifted lots of money (or a house, car, diamond jewelry, etc), it is not yours if she keeps it in her name. No prenup needed. Anyone would be smart to keep an inheritance separate from joint property. If you go all stupid and cheat on her with a house full of hookers, you wouldn't get any of her inherited property when she decided to divorce you.

On the other hand, as things go well in the marriage, there is no reason she couldn't use some of that money to pay bills or buy you gifts (e.g. a car).

It is common practice to keep inherited or gifted wealth separate from joint property. No big deal, and I would not be insulted if I were engaged to a wealthy woman if she let me know this is how things were going to be.

Her father can easily set up a trust (and he should, and probably already has) which stipulates how his estate is managed and disbursed after his death.

The bigger question now is whether you want to get involved in this family, and what new things do you learn about your fiance in the next little while as a result of her father's actions.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

@Zija Reno

You might want to reply to people on your thread. People are asking you for some clarifications. It would really help to get them


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## Blokeymcblokeface (Mar 26, 2017)

Curious to read the OP reply


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Blokeymcblokeface said:


> Curious to read the OP reply


Unfortunately, a lot of people post once and then don't come back. And the a lot of people waste their time responding to the OP, wasting their time.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Maybe he was put off by the replies? It's difficult to come back and write "yes, I am actually a loser". Or defend himself to prove the contrary.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

inmyprime said:


> Maybe he was put off by the replies? It's difficult to come back and write "yes, I am actually a loser". Or defend himself to prove the contrary.


Na, never happened, TAM members never so hard on a poster that it would drive them away. /sarcasm

Actually, there is a high probability that in this case, this is what happened. Which is why I wish some people would put their 2x4's away and quite chasing posters off TAM.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Is his name Mr Pewterschmidt?


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