# The Fog!



## jtorna33 (Aug 23, 2011)

I was noticing that everyone here mentions the fog. The daze the other spouse is in when they are with their cheating partner. My husband is living with his mistress and I stopped giving him a ride to work. It made things difficult for them. Not only that yesterday I texted her stating that I didn't think it was fair for the hurt and pain she put me and my kids through and said she was sorry and was giving me excuses for it. I didn't like the fact that it was just excuses. So she started a texting war and I tried to laugh it off. Today I have been cleaning out my apartment because I either need to downsize or move across country to my parents house (don't really want to). I needed some help and the only person I can ask is my husband because I don't know anyone else. She then started texting saying he can't come with out her and I am nothing. So my husband asked about the text and I told him it was yesterday so I was surprised she didn't show him then. Of course he took her side so now she is controlling him after he said it wouldn't happen. She also started blaming me for their problems because I stopped giving him a ride. Everybody else notices she is fake and that she isn't as nice as she seems. Even my twelve year old says it. I know he is still in the fog stage, but how long does that usually last? It is making things hard for me to get things done or to be friends with him for the kids.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Omg she sounds like a lunatic. He can't go to his wife's house without her??? LOL! :rofl: What a joke.

My advice is to stop texting her and him. be done with them. They can now reap what they sow. She is obviously has trust issues with him.

Let her meet all his needs.

Block her # from your phone. Don't contact her again.

Re: him--file for separation/child support/divorce and be done with him. 

Re: The Fog--it really depends on the situation. The sooner you drop him like a hot potato and make it very clear you are done and not do any "wifely" thing for him anymore, the sooner he will realize youa ren' this back up anymore, his "safe bet." Once he realizes that you are really gone from his life, he *may* have a change of heart but that is always up in the air.

The affair fog is ilke any initial infatuation...they say that can last from a year to two years. Rest assured: it WILL wear off eventually. You may not care abouthim by the--no tenough to want to be with him.

STOP meeting his needs. DO NOT ask for his help to help you move. He has caused enough damage. Don't sweat it if you have to move back with your family--you will need all the support and love you can get right now. 

Don't feel ashamed or own more than your share. He is responsible for cheating and walking out on you and your kids.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

OH....and you should have forwarded your husband the texts where she was talking smack and also saying he's not "allowed" to go to your home "without" her.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Is this the same crazy OW my ex husband was involved with! Talk about being cut from the same mold, sheesh!
These ow are something else.


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

your husband lives with his mistress and your still giving him rides to work?

you communicate with this mistress and text her to 'guilt her' about this being unfair?

your 12 year old knows this mistress well enough to judge the authenticity of per personality?

you asked your husband whom your still transporting around to help you move out of your apartment but his mistress won't let him, and he can't blame her?

the mistress blames the problems in her relationship on her boyfriend's wife?

Fog is the least of your worries... all of this is so far shot out on so many levels I'm at a loss....

step one....

Remove yourself from this situation. Completely.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Typically the fog last for 18 months to two years. If, however, you happen to be married to a man with the Peter Pan Syndrome, some sort of fog last forever. Only then it's called Never Never Land. My guess is that your husband's infatuation stage won't even make it to 18 months. I doubt that woman can even keep him fooled that long. She sounds like a real piece of work. Do as JB suggests (no more contact with either of them). You may see their relationship come unraveled even sooner.


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## drsparkle (Aug 7, 2011)

Stop texting that bloody woman. And stop having anything to do with him 

They are treating you like ****
You are better than the both of them!!


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Omg she sounds like a lunatic. He can't go to his wife's house without her??? LOL! :rofl: What a joke.
> 
> My advice is to stop texting her and him. be done with them. They can now reap what they sow. She is obviously has trust issues with him.
> 
> ...


:iagree:


Withdraw your self from his life. 
Do not do ANYTHING for him

I suspect that you are central to THEIR relationship. They probably spend half their time talking about you. Remove yourself.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Gee, wonder why she's scared to leave her boyfriend alone with a woman? Maybe because she's dating a cheater? Lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Geoffrey Marsh (Aug 11, 2011)

Pit-of-my-stomach said:


> step one....
> 
> Remove yourself from this situation. Completely.



I couldn't agree more. The quicker you remove yourself from this situation the better. Back home to Mom and Dads could be a great place to find some peace.

GM


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## southernmagnolia (Apr 12, 2011)

This is spot on. 

Also, I don't believe there is such a thing as fog despite popular opinions. I think it's a way that people try to excuse certain behaviors or make sense of what doesn't make sense.





Pit-of-my-stomach said:


> your husband lives with his mistress and your still giving him rides to work?
> 
> you communicate with this mistress and text her to 'guilt her' about this being unfair?
> 
> ...


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## jtorna33 (Aug 23, 2011)

Hello Everyone,

Thank you so much for the great advice. I no longer give him a ride and I am trying hard not to contact him. I have post its saying do not call or text no matter what, so that helps. I am still not sure to move or not. I have no intentions of ever taking him back. My son who is twelve does not want to move. This will be the fifth time we have had to move because of this guy and living with my parents isn't a picnic but at least I won't end up in the streets. Plus I am afraid if I stay he will show up months from now when it blows up in his face or he will move to London with her so there would have been no point in staying. I did throw away all the poems he wrote me and his wedding ring he left here and I feel better. I am in the middle of taking a class right now to also keep me busy. I am just so grateful for your responses. They do deserve each other they are exactly alike.


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