# Would love to get a guys perspective on this



## blackbunny (Jun 19, 2011)

Hey guys,

Hoping you can possibly shed some light on something for me. I am recently single and am just starting out in the dating scene again, which in and of itself is damn scary, even more so when I haven't had to do anything like this for 9 years. I have gotten quite friendly with a guy I met on a dating site and after a while of chatting online we exchanged mobile numbers. Since doing so we have been texting each other constantly right up until yesterday when he just stopped. I didn't hear from him all yesterday or today. I know he is having trouble with work and money so I guess that could be why he hasn't spoken but I am a little concerned. If anyone has any pearls of wisdom on why this may have happened I would love it if you could share them with me. I don't want to pester him unduly but I would like him to know I am here if he wants to talk about anything. Just confused as to what to do I guess.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

If someone is having trouble with work and money and you didn't offer to help him out ('because he is a nice guy who is down on his luck' and you met him online, he has probably moved on to find someone more 'helpful'. He wants someone who will lend him money, not a shoulder to commiserate on.


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## blackbunny (Jun 19, 2011)

Ok, thanks, I think. Maybe that is the case.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

My advice from the dating trenches?

Don't ever ... ever ... put any kind of stock in anyone until you meet them face to face.

If a man you are corresponding with has not asked for a date within a few days of correspondence ... stop corresponding.

You need to treat online dating more like you are interviewing candidates for a job, rather than looking for your next soulmate. I am not saying that to be cynical. Online dating is FILLED with misinformation, miscommunication, misunderstanding. The better informed, and more realistic your expectations are, the much more likely it is that you will enjoy the experience.

I have a 'code' for online dating:

- If no full body pic is included, I never so much as say 'hello'
- When saying 'hello' indicate you read their profile. Something other than "I like your profile ..."
- Don't get caught in IM hell. I made this mistake once. Messaged with a woman for 2 weeks while I was traveling. We got along great through text, email, and phone. Met for our first date and it was a total bust. No chemistry whatsoever.
- Don't set up one date. Set up 3. It is actually important to date and meet numerous people. It better prepares you for the adversity that will inevitably follow in dating. Said another way, don't put your eggs in one basket.

You have likely stopped hearing from this gentleman for one of several possible reasons:

- He is actively pursuing others
- He's a schlub, meaning he doesn't have his act together
- He is busy. In which case you will hear from him within 72 hours. If he still doesn't ask you for a date? Tell him you are 'moving on' and wish him luck.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

If a man you are corresponding with has not asked for a date within a few days of correspondence ... stop corresponding.

Deejo is a smart man...listen to him.


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## blackbunny (Jun 19, 2011)

Thank you, that is really helpful actually  at least I know what to look out for now


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## BleepingFamily (Jul 30, 2011)

Deejo said:


> My advice from the dating trenches?
> 
> Don't ever ... ever ... put any kind of stock in anyone until you meet them face to face.


:smthumbup: Big applause! I met my wife online, and my rule online was that I will either way meet them within 2 weeks of starting talk to them or delete them from my agenda.
There is sooo many people on dating website that just wanna mess with others. Men looking for cyber-sex, women looking for attention.


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

And always be "suspicious" of a man having trouble with work or money, dating sites a filled with prospects. Find one with his sh$t together.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Or, by the time you get to be my age your emotional baggage better have wheels, 'cuz I'm sure as **** not carrying it.


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## blackbunny (Jun 19, 2011)

Hey Everyone, Thank you for all the advice, this guy is now gone, I have never met anyone as flaky as him in my life and I am including myself in that. I have however met someone since then, we have met up and have a second date in the pipeline and a third on the backburner  things are going well but we are both keeping our options open. So again thank you for the advice it pointed me in the right direction


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