# My husband hates my family and is convinced it will split us up!



## kittyunica (Dec 24, 2008)

He grew up in home filled with verbal and some physical abuse. I grew up with none of that. He was always put down and I was always encouraged. Now we have a 9 month old son my family is trying to take control. It is at the point that my husband doesn't want to even spend our son's first Christmas with me and my family for Christmas dinner. I tried to talk to my mother about it and she said she doesn't want to talk about it. My sister suggested councelling for the 4 of us and none but me want anything to do with it. My parents blame him and he blames my parents for their poor relationship. And everyone wants me to set each other straight. I work and my husband got laid off (automotive industry) so he picked up the rest of our parental benefits but I'm afraid he's getting depressed staying home. My parents think he needs to get a job but no one, including my husband, see raising our son as a job. One much more rewarding than anything else. And because of how he feels, I think he is missing out on what could be the best time of his life. He thinks if I don't set my parents straight, he gives us a maximum of 2 years left together and my parents don't want to talk to me at all about it. I just want to know if anyone has been in anything similar or have some advice? I look at my son and cry thinking he's either going to loose his grandparents or worse, his father. My husband doesn't realize how much I love him, I just don't know how to make him happy with his life.


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## HisSummerRose (Dec 10, 2008)




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## LucyInSC (Dec 23, 2008)

It must be so hard for you to feel that you are in the middle between your husband and your parents. Plus being the only one working must also be hard. You are right to view your husband staying home with your son as a rewarding experience few men get the chance to do. Tell him he is appreciated for the work he does at home. As far as the conflict between him and your parents, I think it is important for you to support your husband when at all possible.  In time maybe they can work out their differences and in the meantime you and your son can occasionally visit your parents without your husband. If your marriage is otherwise healthy, tell your husband that your loyalty is with him.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

My mom said something disrespectful to my H once. I let her know i wanted her in my life, but if she ever said anything disrespectful to him again, she wouldnt see me again until she apologized. that would go for anyone in my family. 

You dont have to fix the relationship between your family and your H. you dont have to make anyone like anyone. but you do have to let them know what is, and is not ok. You need to stand up for your H.


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