# Any other jealous wives out there?



## Sunshine1234 (Aug 20, 2012)

I'm just wondering if others would feel like me or am I overreacting?

A childhood friend is in town this weekend and my husband and I went out to dinner with this friend and her husband. We were having ****tails all night and as the night went on this friend was paying so much attention to my husband and getting loud and entertaining us all with her stories. I just felt like her and my husband's eyes were connected most of the night and my husband had a smile plastered on his face while watching her and her theatrics. I expected my friend and I to chat and catchup all night but that was not at all how the night went.

I was feeling jealous/mad/disrespected. How would you feel? What would you do?

eta: husband has never cheated and don't think he would but still...


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## Althea789 (Apr 12, 2013)

I don't think I would care, but I'm not the jealous type. I think if my friend and my husband hit it off like that I would be happy. Is there more to it you're not sharing? Sorry, I don't understand why you would get jealous based on what you described.


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## Sunshine1234 (Aug 20, 2012)

Thank you for the reply! You're right I was not very clear. Maybe I'm at a sensitive point in the month but I felt like there was a strong attraction between this friend and my husband and that monopolized the entire night. Her telling stories (some of which were very exaggerated for effect) and her just capturing all of my husband's attention all night was night how I expected the night to go. I haven't seen her in years. 

I am the jealous type but I wonder if my feelings are justified.


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## ChelseaBlue (Mar 5, 2012)

Sunshine1234 said:


> .... We were having ****tails all night .... and my husband had a smile plastered on his face while watching her and her theatrics.
> 
> eta: husband has never cheated and don't think he would but still...


Sounds like he was feeling good from the alcohol, and having a good time. Most likely nothing to worry about.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Sunshine1234 said:


> We were having ****tails all night and as the night went on this friend was paying so much attention to my husband and getting loud and entertaining us all with her stories.


Too much alcohol is a bad mix. I've never known of anything good to come from excessive drinking. Ever. I would chalk this up to everyone having too much to drink and lowering their inhibitions. Alcohol does that.


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## Althea789 (Apr 12, 2013)

I agree with Prodigal-too much alcohol is a bad mix. Chock it off as a one time thing.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

A little jealously is good now and then. I think the alcohol was "enhancing" the situation. Nothing to worry about. Just let him know how much you appreciate him in your own sexy way.


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

Hell yes I would be jealous, the whole eye contact and plastered smile would have really pissed me off! I would keep a sharp eye on any new developments or gut feelings.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

Now I'm not that jealous of my husband, but if you asked the 20 something me, I would have been. Occasionally now someone will give him a second look (once it was another man! ;-) or lots of compliments, but these days I'm not annoyed by it because he's mine and will go home with me. However, I agree a little jealousy now and then is good because it shows our partner we don't take them for granted.

I don't see anything to really watch out for in your example, but if you sensed a strong attraction from this out of town friend, just be sure your friend doesn't want to be his Facebook friend. Just be aware of whether she's emailing or texting or calling him. Sounds like she's your friend and not his, so no reason really for her to contact him without telling you. If she starts doing that then I'd be concerned. Also, I'd be careful of telling her anything about your marriage or him. Don't give her a window into your mariage.


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

I would have been jealous also. My bet is that there is some history similar to this with you and this particular friend. 

My aunt is about 6 years older than me. She has always flirted with my boyfriends when we were teens and twenties. She tried it with hubby and when he and I were alone, I told him I was jealous and why. No more flirting after that and the makeup sex was great!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

I Notice The Details said:


> A little jealously is good now and then. I think the alcohol was "enhancing" the situation. Nothing to worry about. Just let him know how much you appreciate him in your own sexy way.


I guess this, and other posts regarding jealousy explain the suggestion for husbands neglected in bed to show they are attractive to members of the opposite sex.

Strictly related to the OP's issue, I don't think this is any big deal. But, the OP's GF exaggerating her stories for the husband's benefit (if she is not prone to do that in other similar situations) is somewhat a red flag that I would keep an eye on.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I'd be angry at my friend for being so disrespectful. Yes,I consider blatant flirting with my partner to be disrespectful and sl*tty. 
If that's her behavior when she's drinking and interacting with my partner,I'd have to seriously reconsider the friendship.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

a married person is expressing concern about their marriage; they are never jealous. 

I've had this problem in the past with my first husband. I had hoped that it owuld work itself out; that my husband would realise responding positively to that kind of behavior would only encourage escalation and that it was obviously disrespectful to me...... boy was I wrong.

In your situation, OP, I would just make sure that the next time you see your friend, it's just you two. any suggestion of a double date will never be able to fit into your and your husband's schedule. Maybe one day she'll figure it out.

And I would squelch any effort on her part to contact your husband directly, including FB friending. I've decided that any woman inappropriately contacting my husband will know about it through hers.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I am curious to know how *HER husband *was reacting to all the attention she was showing to
*YOUR husband*?

So she gave your husband more EYE contact than she did YOU while telling her stories then? 

I could surely understand some emotions starting to rise within -- if it was obvious he was "hanging on every word" ... I would think in situations such as these, our spouses should pull us into the conversation...but if he was tipsy...well... there goes that idea. 

I know when I go out with my husband, we always give some feedback to each other over the night we just had, the stories shared, etc.... did you have any words with him about that night, what he thought etc ?


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## olwhatsisname (Dec 5, 2012)

I have many good memories where new blood livens up an evening, and a recieving audience for someones old jokes.


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## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

Always trust your gut


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## Sunshine1234 (Aug 20, 2012)

I Notice The Details said:


> A little jealously is good now and then. I think the alcohol was "enhancing" the situation. Nothing to worry about. Just let him know how much you appreciate him in your own sexy way.


I usually like your posts but say what? After paying all his attention to someone else I feel he should tell me how much he appreciates ME. He obviously knows I appreciate him since I spilled the beans that I was jealous. It just wasn't very sexy


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## Sunshine1234 (Aug 20, 2012)

TCSRedhead said:


> I would have been jealous also. My bet is that there is some history similar to this with you and this particular friend.
> 
> My aunt is about 6 years older than me. She has always flirted with my boyfriends when we were teens and twenties. She tried it with hubby and when he and I were alone, I told him I was jealous and why. No more flirting after that and the makeup sex was great!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yeah, obviously there is some competition there. I guess we're never too old ..... (sigh)


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## Sunshine1234 (Aug 20, 2012)

NextTimeAround said:


> a married person is expressing concern about their marriage; they are never jealous.
> 
> I've had this problem in the past with my first husband. I had hoped that it owuld work itself out; that my husband would realise responding positively to that kind of behavior would only encourage escalation and that it was obviously disrespectful to me...... boy was I wrong.
> 
> ...


True... I would have even been fine if he put his arm around me while he was doing it.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

Sunshine1234 said:


> I usually like your posts but say what? After paying all his attention to someone else I feel he should tell me how much he appreciates ME. He obviously knows I appreciate him since I spilled the beans that I was jealous. It just wasn't very sexy


How did your conversation go at the end of the night? Did HE tell you or reassure you? Do you think he did some of this on purpose to make you jealous or was he just not in touch with your feelings at all? I must have missed some details in your story when I first read it.


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## Sunshine1234 (Aug 20, 2012)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I am curious to know how *HER husband *was reacting to all the attention she was showing to
> *YOUR husband*?
> 
> So she gave your husband more EYE contact than she did YOU while telling her stories then?
> ...


Her husband was quiet and probably proud and liked that my husband was eyeing up his wife. Is that sick? Sorry maybe my head is getting carried away.

Agreed, he should have pulled me more into the convo or at least shown me some affection through it all but as you said, who thinks of these things when tipsy.

You are all right- the drinks and double dating was not a good mix. Live and Learn!


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## Sunshine1234 (Aug 20, 2012)

I Notice The Details said:


> How did your conversation go at the end of the night? Did HE tell you or reassure you? Do you think he did some of this on purpose to make you jealous or was he just not in touch with your feelings at all? I must have missed some details in your story when I first read it.


No problem  We just talked about it today and he played dumb. The conversation was short today but hopefully we'll talk again so we can avoid this happening again. I don't think he did it on purpose, I think this old friend is just a lot of personality (and new blood as pp said, Haha) and my husband was weak with drinks. It still hurts.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

As a one off it would not be an issue for me but then again I like it when SO flirts with other women. 

If he was flirting and also ignoring me then yes it would be a problem but otherwise it isn't an issue here. I am confident in my relationship and a bit of flirting is fine.


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## Sussieq (Apr 6, 2013)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I am curious to know how *HER husband *was reacting to all the attention she was showing to
> *YOUR husband*?
> 
> So she gave your husband more EYE contact than she did YOU while telling her stories then?
> ...


What difference would if make to know how her friend's husband reacted? The OP stated her concerns in her original post.


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

Sunshine1234 said:


> Her husband was quiet and probably proud and liked that my husband was eyeing up his wife. Is that sick? Sorry maybe my head is getting carried away.
> 
> Agreed, he should have pulled me more into the convo or at least shown me some affection through it all but as you said, who thinks of these things when tipsy.
> 
> You are all right- the drinks and double dating was not a good mix. Live and Learn!


So why did you not get involved more in the conversation? It is your friend, not his. I guess I am puzzled a bit why you were not more proactive in initiating conversation with your friend, and how your husband would have done it on his own.

Without knowing your husband, it is possible that he was relieved to find out that he could relate to your friend. I have had a couple of experiences where these sorts of meet ups end up as a walk down memory lane where I know none of the characters or back story. Not a lot of fun, but I do it because it is important. I can imagine being excited to meet someone who was entertaining to talk to. Does not excuse him ignoring you, but might explain a bit of why?


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## Rosemary's Granddaughter (Aug 25, 2012)

Sunshine1234 said:


> I'm just wondering if others would feel like me or am I overreacting?
> 
> A childhood friend is in town this weekend and my husband and I went out to dinner with this friend and her husband. We were having ****tails all night and as the night went on this friend was paying so much attention to my husband and getting loud and entertaining us all with her stories. I just felt like her and my husband's eyes were connected most of the night and my husband had a smile plastered on his face while watching her and her theatrics. I expected my friend and I to chat and catchup all night but that was not at all how the night went.
> 
> ...


I know a couple of girls like this, so I would be bothered. It sounds like she made herself the center of attention (which, yes, you could choose to compete, but maybe sitting back, observing, and seeing how far she's willing to go is the smarter option), and charmed him in the process. 

I'm curious about the amount of drinks--it wasn't enough for you to be oblivious to what was happening, so was it really enough to excuse her behavior?


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

A lot of good commentary here... but I would have inserted myself into the conversation and drawn her into discussion with ME since that's why you all got together, and while she was focused on your husband, put your hand on his thigh, or arm around his shoulder to play with his hair at the back of his neck or some other gesture of affection toward him - sort of staking your territory without excessive PDA. 

Next time make it a girls' night.  Or just not socialize again if you feel she's going to become aggressive in her pursuit.


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

I can say that as I've gotten older, I've culled these types of women out of my circle. If you need to compete with me, then you're really not my friend. 

It's also good that you keep the communication with your husband open on these types of issues. Mine has learned to watch my reactions. Usually, I'm amused but he can see when I've become uncomfortable and then turns the volume down or makes it a point to put his arm around me, rub my leg or show some other sign of reassuring affection.


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