# Threesome is officially in the cards, what to do?



## StuckInLove (Jun 6, 2017)

Wife expressed interest in having a threesome with a close friend (female) of ours, a friend who recently asked my wife if we were interested in "opening up our relationship".. Right off the bat, I'd be the first to say DON'T DO IT, however I've watched her play with another woman many years ago and I didn't get involved and it was HOT. I told her I'm into it, but that I wouldn't penetrate the other woman because I just don't want her having recurring thoughts of watching that. It would be 90% the two of them having fun, but my wife even said she would enjoy watching me go down on the other woman, or watching her give me oral, but even that's on the fence for me.

Bottom line, for those of you who have gone about this successfully, how do you approach it? Like, the three of you are alone, the vibe seems right but the conversation has not yet officially come up....where do you start? What do you say? Obviously just diving in is a bad idea...


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## Wolfman1968 (Jun 9, 2011)

Danger Will Robinson!


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Are you sure she stop with this woman as opposed to women and men?....once you let the genie out of the lamp it will be hard to put it back in.


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## Broken_in_Brooklyn (Feb 21, 2013)

StuckInLove said:


> Wife expressed interest in having a threesome with a close friend (female) of ours, a friend who recently asked my wife if we were interested in "opening up our relationship".. Right off the bat, I'd be the first to say DON'T DO IT, however I've watched her play with another woman many years ago and I didn't get involved and it was HOT. I told her I'm into it, but that I wouldn't penetrate the other woman because I just don't want her having recurring thoughts of watching that. It would be 90% the two of them having fun, but my wife even said she would enjoy watching me go down on the other woman, or watching her give me oral, but even that's on the fence for me.
> 
> Bottom line, for those of you who have gone about this successfully, how do you approach it? Like, the three of you are alone, the vibe seems right but the conversation has not yet officially come up....where do you start? What do you say? Obviously just diving in is a bad idea...


Are you sure they have not already had their sapphic fun behind your back and now want to cover their tracks by including you now?


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

I'm thinking Ross from Friends "Um...my part was over pretty quickly" LOL

In all seriousness though, I think this question might be better asked in a different kind of forum. Fetlife for example.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

I wouldn't be able to do this unless I didn't care about the outcome after. Also, I would be too suspicious of what Broken said, and fearful of what lostin said. Is she covering for already cheating? Whats next, she wants me to blow some other dude? 

I'll stick to jerking with these fantasies of big booty face sitting women and my wife having their way with me with perfect outcomes and no hurt feelings or disappointment with my performance.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

StuckInLove said:


> Wife expressed interest in having a threesome with a close friend (female) of ours, a friend who recently asked my wife if we were interested in "opening up our relationship".. Right off the bat, I'd be the first to say DON'T DO IT, however I've watched her play with another woman many years ago and I didn't get involved and it was HOT. I told her I'm into it, but that I wouldn't penetrate the other woman because I just don't want her having recurring thoughts of watching that. It would be 90% the two of them having fun, but my wife even said she would enjoy watching me go down on the other woman, or watching her give me oral, but even that's on the fence for me.
> 
> 
> 
> Bottom line, for those of you who have gone about this successfully, how do you approach it? Like, the three of you are alone, the vibe seems right but the conversation has not yet officially come up....where do you start? What do you say? Obviously just diving in is a bad idea...



I would buy myself a packed lunch ‘cos there will probably be a lot of *****-eating watching on your part and probably zero participating. Lesbians don’t like it when a guy interferes....
Still. Better than watching porn I suppose. High five!  


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

StuckInLove said:


> Bottom line, for those of you who have gone about this successfully, how do you approach it? Like, the three of you are alone, the vibe seems right but the conversation has not yet officially come up....where do you start? What do you say? Obviously just diving in is a bad idea...


I have NOT gone through this in marriage but have read a great deal about the dynamics of sexual psychology. Some sexual inhibitions are healthy and they prevent you from behaviors that would be too risky while other inhibitions are unhealthy as they shame behaviors that should benefit a long term relationship. 

One area where all these things align is that an idea of a fantasy should not be shamed itself, but the notion of how you act on it is where you have to be careful. For example if you wanted to role play and talk of hypothetical ways to act on this fantasy as foreplay, that is obviously a very safe thing to do. It also allows you as a couple to examine your feelings before and after being intimate. Many ideas fizzle out after you are both satisfied while perhaps others do not. If this ideas fizzles out after you are both satisfied, then that is an indication that fantasy may be better kept just as a fantasy. If not, then you can keep talking about it more.

I strongly suggest having real talks about these topics from a place of being fully satisfied and there being no residual sexual tension. That is a place where you can both be very open and honest about things without as much hormonal confrontation and escalation should the topic get uncomfortable.

Not sure if that helps. 

Regards, 
Badsanta


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

If a man is acid and a woman is base, adding in more base will dilute your acid. 
This making you less strong, her more base.
And giving your relationship more salt, in the form of tears.

Life is base enough.





[THM]- SunCMars


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

InMyPrime said:


> I would buy myself a packed lunch ‘cos there will probably be a lot of *****-eating watching on your part and probably zero participating. Lesbians don’t like it when a guy interferes....
> Still. Better than watching porn I suppose. High five!
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Nothing like a good laugh with the morning cup of coffee.

OP, there are a few people on this forum who may be able to answer your questions. It might take them awhile to get back to you.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

I've been on the forum for over a decade.

The results as far as those coming here wondering ... and then executing, or those who provide feedback that have experienced a 3some are about 90-10.

The 90 being that they ultimately regretted the act and issues arose after the fact. 

As for the 10 that either have no issue, or it somehow enhances their relationship? They generally keep it to themselves and move on. If youre on a site rife with uncoupling, betrayal, and sexual issues in the bedroom, fist pumping over bettering your marriage by adding more people to your sexual connection doesn't have many fans.


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## FieryHairedLady (Mar 24, 2011)

Don't do it.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Your wife initiated this (good). You've seen her with a woman before and not had negative feelings about it (good). I think there is a good chance this will be great. 

I think you should have a discussion with your wife first on a few things:

What activity limits ,so there are no surprises later.

She wants a FFM, but is she hoping for a MFM later and would you agree?

Can she have sexual contact with this other woman when you are not around? Can you when she is not around.



Honestly, while I think 3somes are often a bad idea, the situation here seems quite good - hope you all enjoy yourselves.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

If you all are in complete agreement, then it is likely you'll have a fantastic experience. Figure out any boundaries ahead of time, but be aware that in the heat of the moment they may be forgotten - if that would be a problem, then reconsider. I've experienced a number of threesomes, and they have all been amazing experiences that I would gladly repeat. The one rule that everyone must agree to is that NO ONE is left out or neglected (that will create problems, otherwise), so everyone gets to have fun subject to any hard boundaries agreed to in advance. You also need to agree that there will be no after-the-fact second guessing, regrets, or blaming is something doesn't go well - at most, you can decide to never do it again.


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## Talk2Me (Mar 22, 2019)

My g/f and I did this back in December with a random we sought out. We all agreed on boundaries etc and when things started boundaries were crossed. The other woman basically wanted my g/f to herself and we always said it was same room or nothing at all. The woman said she needed time to "warm up" to my g/f so we said 5 min. Then it was another 5 min and another 10. At this point it wasn't going to be a good idea. When it was time for me to get involved it just wasn't right. Ended up kicking the woman out and got into a major fight. Maybe it was because we chose the wrong woman or maybe it was because we never should have done it in the first place. We talk about doing it again but sometimes the fantasy is better than the reality.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I think this is the sort of thing that works best when all involved are easily entertained. By that I mean, there are some men who would be quite happy to watch their wives with another woman. They would be happier if they could join, but would still enjoy watching. 

Some people enjoy a very wide range of sexual activities, and this sort of thing will work better for them. 

I suspect one key is not expecting everything to on on "script". You may have an idea of what you would like to happen, but should only do this if you would be happy even if things go far away from that script. 




Talk2Me said:


> My g/f and I did this back in December with a random we sought out. We all agreed on boundaries etc and when things started boundaries were crossed. The other woman basically wanted my g/f to herself and we always said it was same room or nothing at all. The woman said she needed time to "warm up" to my g/f so we said 5 min. Then it was another 5 min and another 10. At this point it wasn't going to be a good idea. When it was time for me to get involved it just wasn't right. Ended up kicking the woman out and got into a major fight. Maybe it was because we chose the wrong woman or maybe it was because we never should have done it in the first place. We talk about doing it again but sometimes the fantasy is better than the reality.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Better reshuffle that deck.


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

How are you going to prevent your W from getting an STD from this OW, hands only?

Even kissing can transmit HPV.

Does this womans H or SO know about this, it's rare that someone doesn't have anyone.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

As others have already asked, how would you feel if she then wanted a threesome with another man? Is this OK with you ? And if not, you would be in a pretty weak position to say no having agreed to another woman (what's good for the goose is good for the gander too).


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

Since it can be fraught with problems, you should only do it if the enjoyment is worth the possible negative outcomes. Unpredictable emotions are involved. Maybe it will strengthen your relationship, maybe it will harm it. If you're doing it because you think it might be a bit of fun, you might want to think about it some more. But if it's a lifelong fantasy that you can't wait to try, then give it a go. But make sure it's something you will look back fondly on even if it ends up causing your marriage to break up.


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

Whoever you or your W cheats with becomes a permanent part of your marriage, you are giving up your exclusivity with your W.

Do you have any assurance this is not going on all the time?


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssKABOOM!

That is what is going to happen to your marriage. Don't say we didn't tell you so.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Threesomes are a form of "condoned adultery!"

What kind of loving relationship is that?

Run as far away as you can from it!*


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

StuckInLove said:


> .....I wouldn't penetrate the other woman....


Very noble!



StuckInLove said:


> ....because I just don't want her having recurring thoughts of watching that.


hmmmm....how do I say this without sounding sarcastic or snarky, but I'm pretty sure ''mind movies'' aren't gonna be a problem for her after this event.


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

TheDudeLebowski said:


> I wouldn't be able to do this unless I didn't care about the outcome after. Also, I would be too suspicious of what Broken said, and fearful of what lostin said. Is she covering for already cheating? Whats next, she wants me to blow some other dude?
> 
> I'll stick to jerking with these fantasies of big booty face sitting women and my wife having their way with me with perfect outcomes and no hurt feelings or disappointment with my performance.


I went out to dinner with an ex recently and he was telling me about how his girlfriend likes to continually push the boundaries and how for the most part he loves that but one place he won't go is a FFM threesome. I asked why and he said "I have enough to worry about satisfying one woman...I can't imagine the stress of trying to satisfy two!!!" :laugh:


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Had an opportunity once. It didn't go well. It started out with the two women paying attention to each other. I watched them kiss and pet. I thought, "When do I join in"? "I don't see an opening", I imagined. I wasn't ready. I did not continue and expressed my mistaken thinking. It all stopped before it got started. I felt bad for my part in it, which wasn't anything except talking about it and agreeing to something I had no business agreeing to when I knew nothing about it. 

I think it takes a lot of time to figure out how to do it and even if you can. Imagination is a strong influence. I had no clue how things would go. No one really does. One thing is for sure. You don't know anyone, not even your wife of years. And, she doesn't know you. In fact, most of us don't know ourselves very well. 

Our minds are private, so far, and no one can know what we think or how we see things go in our imagination or their's. 

In the end, I have to agree with Arb. 

It's dangerous and only for some folks. I think most would not do well during and after. 

It is also not my place to judge you. If you want to do that, it is your business. Right or wrong is up to you to decide. I know the answer for me. 

I'd want to have a long deep discussion over many days and do some checking before continuing. It might even be good to see a counselor who can help you figure out what chances there are that your marriage will be safe. Sounds crazy, but I would put a great deal of emphasis on the marriage. That's just me.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Life is full of risks. All parties may already know that they are STD free. 




TAMAT said:


> How are you going to prevent your W from getting an STD from this OW, hands only?
> 
> Even kissing can transmit HPV.
> 
> Does this womans H or SO know about this, it's rare that someone doesn't have anyone.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

As long as this is discussed in advance, it shouldn't be a problem. Nothing wrong with saying that you are OK with another woman but not another man, and its up to her if she still wants the former. 





manfromlamancha said:


> As others have already asked, how would you feel if she then wanted a threesome with another man? Is this OK with you ? And if not, you would be in a pretty weak position to say no having agreed to another woman (what's good for the goose is good for the gander too).


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

This also depends a lot on attitudes. 

If my wife wanted this, I'd be completely happy, as long as discussions showed that everyone was on the same page. 

For me (other people are free to have their own feelings / kinks), my wife with another woman is hot, with another man is gross. I would actually have no problem at all with her having an affair with another woman as long as it didn't interfere with our sex life.


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## StuckInLove (Jun 6, 2017)

Thank you all for your input.

I honestly have considered pretty much everything that has been said. 

> Has this been going on already and now I'm actually the one being invited in? 

Very unlikely but I'm realistic. Without typing paragraphs, I'll just summarize with....pretty damn sure it's not. But again, we've all been fooled at some point. Knowing my wife, she can't lie to me to save her life. She's tried (innocent stuff) and fails abominably. We're extremely honest with each other, no secrets and a strong understanding that absolutely ANYTHING can be communicated between us and the other will hear you out. It's one of our stronger suits. 

> Will this potentially cause problems>

Between my wife and I, unlikely. Our friendship with this person? Potentially.

> How do I know that after this, they won't have future experiences together without me?

This, I'm unsure. They do often have "girl time" with each other but there's always others there (which I can be damn confident they aren't getting it on with), they've never gone off together, alone....at least not a significant amount of time. Having said that, if the situation was right, and this other woman propositioned my wife without me being present, I don't think my wife would say no, but I also am confident she would be honest with me about it after the fact. 

> Sure, WMW is great, but what if she wants a MWM?

We actually talked about this, and while I remain open minded, I definitely arrived at a hard no, for many of the same reasons why I told her I would not penetrate the other woman, or maybe not even touch her at all (reminder: it was *her* idea to involve another woman). I don't want to have mental images of her being penetrated by another man, so it's only fair. 

> What about potential STD's?

Yep, definitely considered and discussed.

> Boundaries should be set, but in the moment, they're easily crossed

Also agree.


Bottom line, I don't think this will happen, but it is fun to think about. I agree with many sentiments here, that it's just not worth it. My wife made it a point to say something though, and I always will keep my mind open, so I had to ask about it.

Thanks all!


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

StuckInLove said:


> I wouldn't penetrate the other woman


Why bother participating in a threesome, if you don't want to play with the other woman?


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## StuckInLove (Jun 6, 2017)

Personal said:


> Why bother participating in a threesome, if you don't want to play with the other woman?


Maybe it's naivety, but I feel like it would be the only way we could come out of this threesome and not have jealousy/problems arise. Again, this is a close friend, so our first mistake is probably right there. Maybe with a random that we never speak to again, my wife might enjoy watching me plowing her, but someone that we will continue to see regularly....not so much IMO.

Little detail I forgot to mention, she works with/for this other woman, atop her being a friend.

This is a bad idea.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

I think you'd be opening Pandora's box. It's all super hot fun and games until you realize your wife is having a full blown affair with her "friend" and falling in love with her and losing interest in you. 



StuckInLove said:


> Wife expressed interest in having a threesome with a close friend (female) of ours, a friend who recently asked my wife if we were interested in "opening up our relationship"..


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## StuckInLove (Jun 6, 2017)

WorkingWife said:


> I think you'd be opening Pandora's box. It's all super hot fun and games until you realize your wife is having a full blown affair with her "friend" and falling in love with her and losing interest in you.


Yeah, the more and more I think about this, I would actually see the other woman falling in love with my wife, and my wife has a hard time with the word "no" so I can only assume any passes this woman would make in the future without me there would not be denied. I think she'd be honest with me about it, but yeah....can of worms.

Yep, not doing it.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

StuckInLove said:


> Yeah, the more and more I think about this, I would actually see the other woman falling in love with my wife, and my wife has a hard time with the word "no" so I can only assume any passes this woman would make in the future without me there would not be denied. I think she'd be honest with me about it, but yeah....can of worms.
> 
> Yep, not doing it.


Not for nothin' but you did mention your wife said it would be hot to see oral with another woman. I mean, you could always opt for the two girl blow job and call it quits from there. 

Of course, this is my selfish side speaking.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

StuckInLove said:


> Yeah, the more and more I think about this, I would actually see the other woman falling in love with my wife, and my wife has a hard time with the word "no" so I can only assume any passes this woman would make in the future without me there would not be denied. I think she'd be honest with me about it, but yeah....can of worms.
> 
> Yep, not doing it.


I think that's wise. Probably a little disappointing but you'll never know what ultimate misery you might have avoided.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

WorkingWife said:


> I think that's wise. Probably a little disappointing but you'll never know what ultimate misery you might have avoided.


Not to get all spiritual, but basically every teaching tells us that chasing down and basing your decisions on pure physical pleasure is a good way to **** up your life completely. As someone who has always dealt with addiction issues, I have to agree with this. 

But then again, there has to be a middle ground right? Two girl blow job.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

StuckInLove said:


> Thank you all for your input.
> 
> I honestly have considered pretty much everything that has been said.
> 
> ...


OK what if she says (in future) that the other woman's husband/boyfriend also wants to be in the room but will not penetrate or touch your wife ? You OK with that ?

Also what if it is your wife that falls in love with her ?

And now if you say no, how will your wife react to this ?


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Talk2Me said:


> My g/f and I did this back in December with a random we sought out. We all agreed on boundaries etc and when things started boundaries were crossed. The other woman basically wanted my g/f to herself and we always said it was same room or nothing at all. The woman said she needed time to "warm up" to my g/f so we said 5 min. Then it was another 5 min and another 10. At this point it wasn't going to be a good idea. When it was time for me to get involved it just wasn't right. Ended up kicking the woman out and got into a major fight. Maybe it was because we chose the wrong woman or maybe it was because we never should have done it in the first place. We talk about doing it again but sometimes the fantasy is better than the reality.


 The unicorn didn't want you, plain and simple. Most don't want the male partner in the equation because they can get that anywhere. Some only barely acknowledge a guys' existence in the room and *that's* only because they have to if they want to get any girlie action. LOL.

The poster who told you to pack a lunch and sit back and watch was pretty much right on target.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Its as if a billion teenage fantasies cried out in pain and were suddenly silenced.......


(Seriously, if you are at all worried, you made the right choice for you).




StuckInLove said:


> Yeah, the more and more I think about this, I would actually see the other woman falling in love with my wife, and my wife has a hard time with the word "no" so I can only assume any passes this woman would make in the future without me there would not be denied. I think she'd be honest with me about it, but yeah....can of worms.
> 
> Yep, not doing it.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

StuckInLove said:


> Maybe it's naivety, but I feel like it would be the only way we could come out of this threesome and not have jealousy/problems arise. Again, this is a close friend, so our first mistake is probably right there. Maybe with a random that we never speak to again, my wife might enjoy watching me plowing her, but someone that we will continue to see regularly....not so much IMO.
> 
> Little detail I forgot to mention, she works with/for this other woman, atop her being a friend.
> 
> This is a bad idea.


Now that you've added these details, yes, it IS a bad idea. Too many potential issues in the future given your wife is essentially her employee. Your wife should not pursue any kind of relationship with her either, much less a threesome - there is too much potential for drama and manipulation when they work together, even if their roles are equal. Walk away from this one!


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

OP,

You've gotten a lot of feedback and options, to do or not do.

I've had multiple FFM 3 ways, but was before marriage. 

One thing, if you commit to doing commit fully.

No silly self imposed restrictions those won't mean anything in the big picture. 

If you do it, do everything and anything you want, and that's wanted of you. 

Do it fully and heartily, that is the only way you'll get some respect from W and gf.

Don't do anything (kindly) "wussily" do it with gusto and enjoyment, and a long time.

Fingers, feet, tongue, elbows, Ps, get 'em all going!

Best,

RR.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

TheDudeLebowski said:


> But then again, there has to be a middle ground right? Two girl blow job.


Pardon my naiveté, but what is a TWO girl blow job? I'm having trouble imagining how two girls could do that at once...


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

WorkingWife said:


> Pardon my naiveté, but what is a TWO girl blow job? I'm having trouble imagining how two girls could do that at once...


Do you need me to send you some links?


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## cheapie (Aug 6, 2018)

WorkingWife said:


> Pardon my naiveté, but what is a TWO girl blow job? I'm having trouble imagining how two girls could do that at once...


LOL, you need to work on using your imagination. If you're still having trouble, google it and watch the videos...you'll get the idea(s) pretty quickly. :wink2:


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

SIL,

I would go a bit further, since she is your Ws boss you need to write her a no-contact letter and go to personnel.

This woman is no friend to either of you or your children.

Alternately you need to document the interactions between your W and this woman for when they are needed to protect your Ws job.

Also after all is gathered tell the OWs SO or H.

It's best if you get her fired so your W will not be growing more and more emotionally attached to this woman.


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

StuckInLove said:


> Wife expressed interest in having a threesome with a close friend (female) of ours, a friend who recently asked my wife if we were interested in "opening up our relationship".


The real question is not do you want to have a threesome, with this one particular woman, this one particular time, where you get to make all the rules. The real question is are you interested in an open marriage, where your current firm marriage vows are thrown out, to be replaced by an ever changing yet to be determined set of hard to enforce rules, where some of these rules may end up being not be to your liking?


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Lostinthought61 said:


> Are you sure she stop with this woman as opposed to women and men?....once you let the genie out of the lamp it will be hard to put it back in.


really discuss it all out fully. lay down some ground rules. 
You do not want her "falling in love" with someone else and leaving. So seeing the same third person, over and over, generally is a bad idea


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## StuckInLove (Jun 6, 2017)

Thanks all.

This is extremely unlikely to happen, it's simply the only time the topic ever come up for us and was actually considered. After careful consideration, I'm going to steer clear. I just simply wanted to talk about it with y'alls. I'll leave all the nitty-gritty details out, but this doesn't have a positive outcome written on it. It would either be not good, or awkward at best. With this particular person, I can't see it ending with a one-time-deal.

Now, if it was a (verified clean) random woman that we never spoke to again, then....maybe.... But we have a pretty good sex life as is, so....why try to fix what isn't broken?

Thanks again!


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## Broken_in_Brooklyn (Feb 21, 2013)

StuckInLove said:


> Thanks all.
> 
> This is extremely unlikely to happen, it's simply the only time the topic ever come up for us and was actually considered. After careful consideration, I'm going to steer clear. I just simply wanted to talk about it with y'alls. I'll leave all the nitty-gritty details out, but this doesn't have a positive outcome written on it. It would either be not good, or awkward at best. With this particular person, I can't see it ending with a one-time-deal.
> 
> ...


I'd say there is a non zero chance your wife and her boss have already been intimate. Your wife bringing it up was a ploy to feel you out, or head off a rumor you may about to hear. 

Quiet a few boundaries have to be crossed between 'friends - work colleagues - the boss at work' to out of the blue be asked if you are ok with the lady boss banging your wife while you watch. 

Not sure how you feel about the possibility of your wife opening the marriage behind your back. Since she brought this whole thing up you may want to ask about the nitty gritty details of why this women has conversations with your wife about having sex with her to the point of you being asked if you are ok with it ? - as a spectator. 

Just my 2 cents.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

StuckInLove said:


> Now, if it was a (verified clean) random woman that we never spoke to again, then....maybe....


LOL.

When you're able to *find* one of those magical unicorns - a random woman with a completely clean STD report fresh off the printer from the local STD clinic whose willing to meet up with two complete and utter strangers (you and your wife) at their home or in a hotel room, spend a few hours or perhaps all night having anonymous, NSA sex with BOTH of you, and then disappear into thin air like she never existed once you were all completely satisfied - I'll pay for the hotel room for your hot monkey sex threesome AND I'll even throw in dinner afterwards for all 3 of you.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> LOL.
> 
> When you're able to *find* one of those magical unicorns - a random woman with a completely clean STD report fresh off the printer from the local STD clinic whose willing to meet up with two complete and utter strangers (you and your wife) at their home or in a hotel room, spend a few hours or perhaps all night having anonymous, NSA sex with BOTH of you, and then disappear into thin air like she never existed once you were all completely satisfied - I'll pay for the hotel room for your hot monkey sex threesome AND I'll even throw in dinner afterwards for all 3 of you.



Alternatively...I will pay for everything and we could perhaps arrange a time and a place to meet up with my wife to have a hot & steamy session complaining how unlikely threesomes are and how life is not a porn movie   (Joking. My wife will pay )


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> LOL.
> 
> When you're able to *find* one of those magical unicorns - a random woman with a completely clean STD report fresh off the printer from the local STD clinic whose willing to meet up with two complete and utter strangers (you and your wife) at their home or in a hotel room, spend a few hours or perhaps all night having anonymous, NSA sex with BOTH of you, and then disappear into thin air like she never existed once you were all completely satisfied - I'll pay for the hotel room for your hot monkey sex threesome AND I'll even throw in dinner afterwards for all 3 of you.


Yeah, might as well throw in the fantasy of winning of the lottery so they can pay for their own dinner and a couple weeks on a yacht in the Bahamas.... and while we're dreaming big he might as well dream about being at a major league baseball game and make a diving catch of a foul ball that went into the stands and the manager of the home team was so impressed that he hires him to play outfield on the spot. 

But it's ok to dream. Those dreams and fantasies don't cost a thing (as long as you aren't spending your income on lottery tickets) because they are so outlandish that you know it ain't never gonna happen.


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## Steelman (Mar 5, 2018)

Its going to be exciting at first, but during and after, you are going to be weirded out. There's going to be penetration of some sort with the third party, or you might as well not do it.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

StuckInLove said:


> Wife expressed interest in having a threesome with a close friend (female) of ours, a friend who recently asked my wife if we were interested in "opening up our relationship".. Right off the bat, I'd be the first to say DON'T DO IT, however I've watched her play with another woman many years ago and I didn't get involved and it was HOT. I told her I'm into it, but that I wouldn't penetrate the other woman because I just don't want her having recurring thoughts of watching that. It would be 90% the two of them having fun, but my wife even said she would enjoy watching me go down on the other woman, or watching her give me oral, but even that's on the fence for me.
> 
> Bottom line, for those of you who have gone about this successfully, how do you approach it? Like, the three of you are alone, the vibe seems right but the conversation has not yet officially come up....where do you start? What do you say? Obviously just diving in is a bad idea...


Have you met her boyfriend yet?

Your wife’s boyfriend, I mean.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

GusPolinski said:


> StuckInLove said:
> 
> 
> > Wife expressed interest in having a threesome with a close friend (female) of ours, a friend who recently asked my wife if we were interested in "opening up our relationship".. Right off the bat, I'd be the first to say DON'T DO IT, however I've watched her play with another woman many years ago and I didn't get involved and it was HOT. I told her I'm into it, but that I wouldn't penetrate the other woman because I just don't want her having recurring thoughts of watching that. It would be 90% the two of them having fun, but my wife even said she would enjoy watching me go down on the other woman, or watching her give me oral, but even that's on the fence for me.
> ...


Considering the third party is a WOMAN, probably not.

Honestly, if you can't be bothered to READ, why comment??????


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

As someone who has had a number of FMFs, a couple MFMs and lots and lots of couple/couple and group sex over the years, I have some mixed feelings about this particular situation and I'll try to make this as objective and balanced as I can. 

For starters, I don't believe in making decisions based on fear and what if?s. 

Many of the people on this forum are here due to being cheated on or are having some other kind of serious relationship issue and the thought of another person(s) coming into the marital bedroom is enough to send them running for the hills. 

That is their reality and perspective and not necessarily the OP's. 

There are people here that if one were to mention their spouse saying good morning to another person, are going to be afraid of that spouse running off with the other person. 

And no discussion on anything but strict life-long monogamy can be complete without the old fall-back warning of STDs. 

Now are those things risks? Sure. They are. 

Do I know people who have run off with a playmate or have had marriages crumble after bringing in a 3rd? Yes I do. It does happen. 

But there are also millions of 3somes and 4somes and moresomes taking place out there each day where a good time is being had by all and no one is running off with a playmate and no one is coming down with horrible STDs and life goes on with a wicked smile and an added bounce in their step ;-)

I think some questions need to be asked in situations like these. 

- Are we skittish mice and Chicken Littles that believe the sky is falling and there is a big bad wolf behind every corner and an outbreak of herpes just waiting for us to lay a finger on someone else? Or are we sane, sober, consenting adults that can openly communicate with our partners and potential playmates and address concerns and ask important questions and discuss where we want things to go and what our boundaries and limits as a individual are? 

- Is our partner a fundamentally honest, respectful, compassionate and faithful person that would not knowingly scam or manipulate or deceive us to achieve their own selfish wants and pleasures? 

- Are we able to openly sit down and openly discuss wants and agendas and limits and boundaries with out potential playmates and determine if their agendas and wants and boundaries are in congruence with our own? 

- Are we adults enough to have these discussions and address these risks and concerns and take the proper precautions and address these openly and honestly with our partners and potential playmates? Or is this all some sneaky, dirty, adolescent fantasy where we try to sneak the last cookie out of the cookie jar without anyone catching on that it was us??

I spent ten years in the swinging lifestyle. For every hour that was spent naked having fun in the bedroom, there was many hours and in reality days and weeks getting to know people and having these discussions. 

For every person or couple that we played with, there were multiple people and couples that didn't make the cut or that didn't want us or were simply dead-ends that looked promising but didn't ever come to fruition. 

We can all either by 13 year old boys that giggle and snicker and talk the big talk and then in the end are afraid of getting caught and say they didn't actually want to in the first place. 

Or we can be responsible, consenting adults and actually sit down and openly discuss our desires, concerns, risks and benefits and come up with plans and precautions and boundaries to limit the risks and maximize the enjoyment.


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

The other issue, is that when a woman offers herself to a couple for FFM, the boyfriend or husband is also expecting your W to FFM with them. If the woman has a girlfriend then your wife may be expected to FFF.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

oldshirt said:


> - Are we able to openly sit down and openly discuss wants and agendas and limits and boundaries with out potential playmates and determine if their agendas and wants and boundaries are in congruence with our own?
> 
> - Are we adults enough to have these discussions and address these risks and concerns and take the proper precautions and address these openly and honestly with our partners and potential playmates? Or is this all some sneaky, dirty, adolescent fantasy where we try to sneak the last cookie out of the cookie jar without anyone catching on that it was us??


When I was in high school many moons ago the gal from Planned Parenthood (aka 'The Rubber Lady' LOL ) would come every year and lecture us on how much babies cost to raise and how herpes would make our junk rot off. 

And the end of her lecture she would always say that if we weren't mature and responsible enough to have an open and honest discussion on the risks vs benefits of sex and weren't mature and responsible to take the proper precautions to reduce the risks - then we weren't ready to be having sex. 

I see this as the same thing but on a marital scale. 

If you aren't ready to sit down and discuss the risks and benefits, objectives and boundaries and aren't ready to sit down with both women and discuss your concerns and establish safe-guards and precautions to protect your marriage and friendships etc with them - then you aren't ready to have sex with them. 

3somes, couple/couple, group sex etc is not for skittish mice, Chicken Littles or adolescent boys that snicker and giggle and talk big, but then aren't willing or able to step up to the plate to ask the hard questions or address the real-world risks to take the proper precautions to keep things from blowing up in their face.

If you wanna do the fun stuff, you have to be ready, willing and able to do the grown-up stuff first to make sure it is safe and responsible. 

If you can't/won't do that, then you have no business doing 3somes.


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## FieryHairedLady (Mar 24, 2011)

personofinterest said:


> Considering the third party is a WOMAN, probably not.
> 
> Honestly, if you can't be bothered to READ, why comment??????


I think he is saying there is a secret bf in place.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

FieryHairedLady said:


> I think he is saying there is a secret bf in place.


Yeah, I interpreted it as he was suggesting the wife has some secret lover and is softening up the OP by offering up a FMF to throw him off her tracks. 

That might make for a good Lifetime Network movie but quite frankly it's easier to just have a garden variety affair and not mess with all the smoke and mirrors. 

That being said, my spidey senses are telling me that there is currently a certain level of attraction and feelings between the wife and friend. 

Now whether that is currently just a curiosity and fascination or a full blown, donut-bumping lesbian affair, I do not know. 

Most FMF 3somes for a typical couple are going to come from the source of the female half of the couple having some kind of attraction and curiosity and warmies with the suggested woman. 

But using another woman as some kind of 'bait' to get the husband softened up and more accepting of bringing in another dude, is getting a little too far fetched. It's easier to just screw the other dude. 

It's always easier to cheat to than to have some kind of open marriage/swinging/polyamory. 

This may seem a little overly simplistic, but people who bring up open marriage/swinging, often want to have an open marriage or swing and are not really intending it to be a cover for cheating. 

Where the cheating comes in is if the spouse says 'no' and they continue seeing the other person or other nonauthorized people anyway. 

Open marriage/swinging takes a lot more work and is a lot more hassle and a lot more hoops and hurdles to jump through than cheating. People that bring up open marriage to their spouse, usually actually do want to have it be an open and consensual arrangement rather than simply getting some extra poon on the side. 

Where lines get blurry and gray is in how much contact and interaction has already taken place with this other woman??


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

FieryHairedLady said:


> I think he is saying there is a secret bf in place.


So....she's gonna use a female coworker threesome to throw hubby off the trail of a boyfriend?

I mean, I get that the woman is always boinking a strange man, but this stretches credulity even for4 the most jaded....


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

personofinterest said:


> So....she's gonna use a female coworker threesome to throw hubby off the trail of a boyfriend?
> 
> I mean, I get that the woman is always boinking a strange man, but this stretches credulity even for4 the most jaded....


Yeah, the simplest answer is usually the most accurate.

The simplest scenario here is the wife and the other gal have some feelings and curiosities for each other and have have had some kind of prior contact in recent weeks. 

Since the OP has been good with her getting down with other chicks in the past, she is likely offering this up so she can have both the lezbefriend and the husband, home and family with OP. 

That's all fine and dandy and there's nothing wrong with that if the 3 of them all come up with a mutually agreed upon arrangment and they all stick to their end if the bargain.

The OP's concern is that the OW will try to back-door the whole thing and his wife will going along with it and carry on with the OW behind his back.

If the 3 if them can't sit down and come to mutual agreements and boundaries and stick to them like consenting adults, then it's best that this be left in fantasyland.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

oldshirt said:


> Yeah, the simplest answer is usually the most accurate.
> 
> The simplest scenario here is the wife and the other gal have some feelings and curiosities for each other and have have had some kind of prior contact in recent weeks.
> 
> ...


Exactly, the SIMPLEST answer is that the wife has feelings for the WOMAN


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

personofinterest said:


> Exactly, the SIMPLEST answer is that the wife has feelings for the WOMAN


Yes.

If she didn't have feelings for or a curiosity about the other woman - she would not have suggested bringing her into their marital bed.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

To quote Captain Obvious -

" women do not suggest bringing people to bed that they are not attracted to and do not have feelings for."


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

There is a fundamental difference between inquiring about the possibility of having an open marriage or swinging as general concept vs asking about bringing a specific friend/coworker/dude at the gym into bed. 

If someone is suggesting a specific person, that means they have an established attraction and desire for that person.

I'm not saying that is necessarily wrong or bad, just that that is something they will have to discuss and establish guidelines and boundaries etc just like they would with any other encounter. It will just have a higher likelyhood of drama and bent feelings etc.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

oldshirt said:


> There is a fundamental difference between inquiring about the possibility of having an open marriage or swinging as general concept vs asking about bringing a specific friend/coworker/dude at the gym into bed.
> 
> If someone is suggesting a specific person, that means they have an established attraction and desire for that person.
> 
> I'm not saying that is necessarily wrong or bad, just that that is something they will have to discuss and establish guidelines and boundaries etc just like they would with any other encounter. It will just have a higher likelyhood of drama and bent feelings etc.


Having the third be the wife's boss doesn't seem to be a great idea.

Wouldn't someone without that position of power over either of them be safer?


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

ConanHub said:


> Having the third be the wife's boss doesn't seem to be a great idea.
> 
> Wouldn't someone without that position of power over either of them be safer?


Well, there could be a fat sexual harassment lawsuit in their future if anything goes wrong. I'm pretty sure the boss asking to have a 3-way with an employee and their spouse would have most employment lawyers begging to take the case. They probably don't even have to go through with it to have a case. Just the boss bringing it up in the first place would be considered sexual harassment.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

personofinterest said:


> Exactly, the SIMPLEST answer is that the wife has feelings for the WOMAN


Since this woman is the wife's boss, she has access to knowing what the husband looks like and exactly how he treats his wife. She could be envious of this and wants to use her employee to become a voyeur/participant in the bedroom as a way to get closer to the husband. 

Otherwise they would have just had an affair the two of them at work. Way simpler!


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

wilson said:


> Well, there could be a fat sexual harassment lawsuit in their future if anything goes wrong. I'm pretty sure the boss asking to have a 3-way with an employee and their spouse would have most employment lawyers begging to take the case. They probably don't even have to go through with it to have a case. Just the boss bringing it up in the first place would be considered sexual harassment.


The nature of the boss/employee relationship has only been somewhat gestured as a loose description. For all we really know these two women could just be volunteers together at church with one individual being in charge due to seniority.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

cheapie said:


> LOL, you need to work on using your imagination. If you're still having trouble, google it and watch the videos...you'll get the idea(s) pretty quickly. :wink2:


LOL, I just did. My computer feels violated. I hope it didn't get a virus! Apparently a two girl blow job is exactly what it sounds like.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

personofinterest said:


> Considering the third party is a WOMAN, probably not.
> 
> Honestly, if you can't be bothered to READ, why comment??????


LOL... it’s OK if you don’t understand.

Step #1 - Wife offers threesome with girlfriend.

Step #2 - Wife demands threesome with another guy — usually the guy she’s already banging.


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

GusPolinski said:


> LOL... it’s OK if you don’t understand.
> 
> Step #1 - Wife offers threesome with girlfriend.
> 
> Step #2 - Wife demands threesome with another guy — usually the guy she’s already banging.



God I live such a sheltered life.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

GusPolinski said:


> personofinterest said:
> 
> 
> > Considering the third party is a WOMAN, probably not.
> ...


You REALLY have one drum, don't ya?


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

personofinterest said:


> You REALLY have one drum, don't ya?


Not unlike you.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

sokillme said:


> personofinterest said:
> 
> 
> > You REALLY have one drum, don't ya?
> ...


Touche

It's so nice to have you as my biggest fan. Hugs and kisses


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

ConanHub said:


> Having the third be the wife's boss doesn't seem to be a great idea.
> 
> 
> 
> Wouldn't someone without that position of power over either of them be safer?



Yes, because not getting a raise  will be their biggest worry in this situation...


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

GusPolinski said:


> LOL... it’s OK if you don’t understand.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Oh I see...so to get to the boyfriend, the most straightforward way is to use some old fashioned lesbianism to make sure it doesn’t become suspicious...
I would also throw in some midgets, goats and perhaps even Kanye West to Make sure my spouse is not going to be onto me...


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

InMyPrime said:


> GusPolinski said:
> 
> 
> > LOL... it’s OK if you don’t understand.
> ...


 You are a guy so this rule doesn't apply to you silly lol


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

personofinterest said:


> You are a guy so this rule doesn't apply to you silly lol



What? You don’t think I’m entitled to get closer to my boyfriends too, if I felt like it? Homophones! 
Get me some midgets over here already...



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

InMyPrime said:


> personofinterest said:
> 
> 
> > You are a guy so this rule doesn't apply to you silly lol
> ...


 Well, I mean, you can do anything you want. Because maybe your wife is fat or she told you no that 1 time you wanted to have sex when she was in traction lol. You gotta keep them women in their place

N the original poster's case, I believe his wife already has a thing for and probably with this woman.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

personofinterest said:


> Well, I mean, you can do anything you want. Because maybe your wife is fat or she told you no that 1 time you wanted to have sex when she was in traction lol. You gotta keep them women in their place
> 
> N the original poster's case, I believe his wife already has a thing for and probably with this woman.



In which case maybe a threesome might not be such a bad idea? If it’s the last time he will see his wife in a...compromising position, he might as well go out with a (gang) bang...



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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

InMyPrime said:


> What? You don’t think I’m entitled to get closer to my boyfriends too, if I felt like it? Homophones!
> Get me some midgets over here already...
> 
> 
> ...




Homophones? Is that a real thing? I want one!!!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

InMyPrime said:


> What? You don’t think I’m entitled to get closer to my boyfriends too, if I felt like it? Homophones!
> Get me some midgets over here already...
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Umm.... they prefer to be called little people.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

Elizabeth001 said:


> Homophones? Is that a real thing? I want one!!!
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


It's a phone that has been homogonized.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Elizabeth001 said:


> Homophones? Is that a real thing? I want one!!!
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Yes, a real thing. Homophones are each of two or more words having the same pronunciation but different meaning.

Not sure what that has to do with gay threesomes though.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

ConanHub said:


> Having the third be the wife's boss doesn't seem to be a great idea.
> 
> Wouldn't someone without that position of power over either of them be safer?


Yeah, it probably would. 

But since when has sex being a little on the risky side ever stopped men (especially if it could lead to a 3way with two chicks) and since when has being the boss ever stopped chick? 

Chicks screw their boss all the time. Chicks dig bosses. Apparently even when the boss is another chick.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

GusPolinski said:


> Have you met her boyfriend yet?
> 
> Your wife’s boyfriend, I mean.


Man,

That was cold. I almost laughed out loud. But likely true, tragically.


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

Threesome threads always give me a chuckle.

I dont get why some are so keen on sharing their WIFE. A girlfriend? Bang away. WIFE?

Figure if you arent willing to double penetrate your wife with some other dude or go Chinese handcuffs, then maybe the FMF aint that great an idea either.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

This sounds great in theory. But I fear it might be like jumping from a 'plane at 50,000 feet without a parachute.

A great rush for several minutes but a hell of an abrupt end.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Boy, this thread has gone full circle 360 x 360.

A topic many weighed in on, pros, cons, directions, cautions, encouragements, discouragements.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

StuckInLove said:


> Maybe it's naivety, but I feel like it would be the only way we could come out of this threesome and not have jealousy/problems arise. Again, this is a close friend, so our first mistake is probably right there. Maybe with a random that we never speak to again, my wife might enjoy watching me plowing her, but someone that we will continue to see regularly....not so much IMO.
> 
> Little detail I forgot to mention, she works with/for this other woman, atop her being a friend.
> 
> This is a bad idea.


:slap::nono::nono::nono::nono:

Carnal congress or sexual shenanigans with the hired help or business partners is a car crash in waiting.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

John Candy got banned? That's against the law in Canada and the U.S. Man, I'm ticked.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

MattMatt said:


> :slap::nono::nono::nono::nono:
> 
> Carnal congress or sexual shenanigans with the hired help or business partners is a car crash in waiting.


This is and exceptional post even by your standards. 5 smiles and what has to be one of the best gifs ever! 

GOOD SHOW!


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

WorkingWife said:


> Umm.... they prefer to be called little people.



Little People sounds a bit degrading...What about leprechauns? It might be useful ‘cos you can have an orgy plus your shoes will be clean at the end of the session..




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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

InMyPrime said:


> Little People sounds a bit degrading...What about leprechauns? It might be useful ‘cos you can have an orgy plus your shoes will be clean at the end of the session..


All I know for sure is this:


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Boy, this thread has gone full circle 360 x 360.
> 
> A topic many weighed in on, pros, cons, directions, cautions, encouragements, discouragements.


I starting to think any form of consensual nonmonogamy is to the relationship community like gun control is to the political community - 

You have one group that thinks it is a neutral force that is neither good nor bad but depends on the intent and purpose of the participant. They also believe that it is a fundamental right to pursue and believes as long as people treat it responsibly and follow the standard guidelines, that no harm will come from it and a good time will be had by all.

And then you have another camp that believes that it is an innately harmful force and that the common person is incapable of being responsible enough and unable to follow common guidelines and will always have some nefarious reason for pursuing it and that harm shall always be the ultimate result in the end.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

oldshirt said:


> I starting to think any form of consensual nonmonogamy is to the relationship community like gun control is to the political community -
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Yes, both guns and threesomes are BAD! 
Doesn’t mean I won’t watch movies where they use guns. Or have threesomes. While using guns 


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

InMyPrime said:


> Yes, both guns and threesomes are BAD!
> Doesn’t mean I won’t watch movies where they use guns. Or have threesomes. While using guns
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk



So maybe there are those that the only place for guns and threesomes are in the movies and that there is no place in the real world for the common man and woman. 

And there are those that don't see why actors and movie stars/pirn stars shoud be the only ones that can have fun with guns and threesomes.

And like the gun control debate, there are those that think every responsible, law abiding citizen should have them and there are those that think no one should have them.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

InMyPrime said:


> Yes, both guns and threesomes are BAD!
> Doesn’t mean I won’t watch movies where they use guns. Or have threesomes. While using guns
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


It's always nice to have the gun handy in case someone else in the threesome crosses an unacceptable boundary :surprise:


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

oldshirt said:


> And like the gun control debate, there are those that think every responsible, law abiding citizen should have them and there are those that think no one should have them.


What I think is closer to the truth is those that don't understand them and fear them, don't want anyone else to have them either. 

And those that have taken the time and effort to become educated and responsible and haven't had any problems, don't see the harm provided people are responsible and use them appropriately.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> It's always nice to have the gun handy in case someone else in the threesome crosses an unacceptable boundary :surprise:


I was always taught to never show up to a party empty handed.


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## red oak (Oct 26, 2018)

oldshirt said:


> As someone who has had a number of FMFs, a couple MFMs and lots and lots of couple/couple and group sex over the years, I have some mixed feelings about this particular situation and I'll try to make this as objective and balanced as I can.
> 
> For starters, I don't believe in making decisions based on fear and what if?s.
> 
> ...


Very well stated.


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## hptessla (Jun 4, 2019)

StuckInLove said:


> Wife expressed interest in having a threesome with a close friend (female) of ours, a friend who recently asked my wife if we were interested in "opening up our relationship".. Right off the bat, I'd be the first to say DON'T DO IT, however I've watched her play with another woman many years ago and I didn't get involved and it was HOT. I told her I'm into it, but that I wouldn't penetrate the other woman because I just don't want her having recurring thoughts of watching that. It would be 90% the two of them having fun, but my wife even said she would enjoy watching me go down on the other woman, or watching her give me oral, but even that's on the fence for me.
> 
> Bottom line, for those of you who have gone about this successfully, how do you approach it? Like, the three of you are alone, the vibe seems right but the conversation has not yet officially come up....where do you start? What do you say? Obviously just diving in is a bad idea...



How does this differ from an affair when you stop and think about it?


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

oldshirt said:


> What I think is closer to the truth is those that don't understand them and fear them, don't want anyone else to have them either.
> 
> And those that have taken the time and effort to become educated and responsible and haven't had any problems, don't see the harm provided people are responsible and use them appropriately.


This!

For the brief second I'm being serious now in this thread.

Now I'm just waiting to get the popcorn and watch how it turns out.

On the very slim chance that it does and there are follow up questions. 

😉😉😉


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> It's always nice to have the gun handy in case someone else in the threesome crosses an unacceptable boundary :surprise:


On the other hand, it's pretty useful to have someone else in the room to throw under the bus when the one with the guy crosses a boundary.

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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

hptessla said:


> How does this differ from an affair when you stop and think about it?


(Stopping and thinking...). Raises hand ... 

Consent, perhaps?

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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Cletus said:


> (Stopping and thinking...). Raises hand ...
> 
> Consent, perhaps?
> 
> Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk


I'm not saying I'm for this whole thing, but for this question @Cletus is right quick to the answer.

Well done!!


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Cletus said:


> (Stopping and thinking...). Raises hand ...
> 
> Consent, perhaps?
> 
> Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk


Yeah, I always have to roll my eyes and chuckle to myself any time someone tries to claim a consensual 3some or swinging or consensual open marriage between consenting adults is an affair or adultery etc etc.

An affair/adultery/infidelity etc is sex outside of the marriage without the other person's knowledge and consent. It's extramarital sex.

Anything with all party's knowledge and consent (and especially with their own participation) is intramarital sex and is just part of the sexual and relationship dynamics of that particular marriage. 

It's not for everyone and most people choose to remain monogamous because they don't wNt the hassles and don't want to take the risks or simply have no desire to bring others into their marital bed. 

But for those that do choose to consensually participate in some form of nonmonogamy, it is nothing like an affair or infidelity.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> InMyPrime said:
> 
> 
> > Yes, both guns and threesomes are BAD!
> ...


https://youtu.be/zRaeKaL1Rhw


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

"Yeah, I always have to roll my eyes and chuckle to myself any time someone tries to claim a consensual 3some or swinging or consensual open marriage between consenting adults is an affair or adultery etc etc"

Roll your eyes and chuckle all you want; but, knowledge and consent do not invalidate the definitions of the words.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> It's always nice to have the gun handy in case someone else in the threesome crosses an unacceptable boundary :surprise:



You could accomplish the same with an enema or prostate massager. Why guns? Just whip it out of the box when the dude is getting too carried away with your wife and he will know where his place is! (And also have very clean bowels)


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

personofinterest said:


> https://youtu.be/zRaeKaL1Rhw




Oh that accent  who wouldn’t mind getting shot!











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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

Why is this thread still going on? OP said he backed out and hasn’t been posting.


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

Elizabeth001 said:


> Why is this thread still going on? OP said he backed out and hasn’t been posting.


Hi. You must be new here. Welcome to TAM!


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

wilson said:


> Hi. You must be new here. Welcome to TAM!




Touché 


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

wilson said:


> Elizabeth001 said:
> 
> 
> > Why is this thread still going on? OP said he backed out and hasn’t been posting.
> ...


Hahahahaha!


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Blondilocks said:


> "Yeah, I always have to roll my eyes and chuckle to myself any time someone tries to claim a consensual 3some or swinging or consensual open marriage between consenting adults is an affair or adultery etc etc"
> 
> 
> 
> Roll your eyes and chuckle all you want; but, knowledge and consent do not invalidate the definitions of the words.


Ok, sure, the pedant can take the position that it is technically both infidelity and adultery as the dictionary defines both. 

I think we all know that's not the actual root of the argument given what most of us understand those words to imply.

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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Does it make a difference if your wife is being sneaky behind your back or in front of your back? Or perhaps somewhere underneath or on top?


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

InMyPrime said:


> Does it make a difference if your wife is being sneaky behind your back or in front of your back? Or perhaps somewhere underneath or on top?
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


'Tain't nothing, really.

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## hptessla (Jun 4, 2019)

Cletus said:


> (Stopping and thinking...). Raises hand ...
> 
> Consent, perhaps?
> 
> Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk


Thank you for raising your hand :wink2:


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Blondilocks said:


> "Yeah, I always have to roll my eyes and chuckle to myself any time someone tries to claim a consensual 3some or swinging or consensual open marriage between consenting adults is an affair or adultery etc etc"
> 
> Roll your eyes and chuckle all you want; but, knowledge and consent do not invalidate the definitions of the words.


Words and their meaning do change and evolve over time.

Some people believe that a husband and wife can determine their own sexual dynamics and practices as a couple regardless of what a particular version of a dictionary says.

If a couple determines that a consensual sexual experience is not an affair or infidelity, then it isn't regardless of what Webster says.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

oldshirt said:


> Words and their meaning do change and evolve over time.
> 
> Some people believe that a husband and wife can determine their own sexual dynamics and practices as a couple regardless of what a particular version of a dictionary says.
> 
> If a couple determines that a consensual sexual experience is not an affair or infidelity, then it isn't regardless of what Webster says.


So, it boils down to the definition of the word 'is'. OK.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

oldshirt said:


> Words and their meaning do change and *evolve over time*.
> 
> Some people believe that a husband and wife can determine their own sexual dynamics and practices as a couple regardless of what a particular version of a dictionary says.
> 
> If a couple determines that a consensual sexual experience is not an affair or infidelity, then it isn't regardless of what Webster says.


Ones words and thoughts 'do', can evolve over time.

The words uttered, the marital ink, may both fade over time, but their original intent never changes.

For that to happen....

Another written and signed document must supersede the last, make the last obsolete.

A Divorce Decree shall do that. Does do that. Anything short of that is inadmissible, even so in logic.

The two signed a sacred pact between themselves....yes.

But they also signed a pact with witnesses signing and attesting and by the Marriage Minister/Presider being present.
And did so...before God, some this.

The two parties may dismiss their vows to each other, they never say so to the same other witnesses or Minister/Mayor presiding.

Those other parties are part of the original pact and pledge.

That is why words and evolution falls short of truth.

You do not always own your own words. Documents can claim them with higher legal, and moral veracity.





[THM]- SCM


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

SunCMars said:


> Ones words and thoughts 'do', can evolve over time.
> 
> The words uttered, the marital ink, may both fade over time, but their original intent never changes.
> 
> ...


Mine was more pithy.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Blondilocks said:


> Mine was more pithy.


I wish 'we' could learn pithy.

It seems not in us, not beneath us, just not presently, presenting.

We are wordy, oft worldly, sometimes just wack.





[THM]- The HeadMates and pals.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

On this 'threesome' thing.

We have those, and multiples higher, everyday.

And with a variety of odd characters, performers, and genders participating. 
Ours involve mental gymnastics and enjoy foot-in-face exercises in our sharing of our cramped living space.

Aside from dirty feet, everything else is cleanly copa-copa.





[TM]- The HeadMates and friends


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

oldshirt said:


> Words and their meaning do change and evolve over time.
> 
> Some people believe that a husband and wife can determine their own sexual dynamics and practices as a couple regardless of what a particular version of a dictionary says.
> 
> If a couple determines that a consensual sexual experience is not an affair or infidelity, then it isn't regardless of what Webster says.


Adultery is when a married person has sex with someone they are not married to. Its irrelevant whether they both consent or not.


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## dpoohclock (Apr 30, 2019)

oldshirt said:


> As someone who has had a number of FMFs, a couple MFMs and lots and lots of couple/couple and group sex over the years, I have some mixed feelings about this particular situation and I'll try to make this as objective and balanced as I can.
> 
> For starters, I don't believe in making decisions based on fear and what if?s.
> 
> ...



I have to say, nice post. 

People that have never been in that lifestyle don't grasp it like you do. 

It's not impossible to make work, and at the same time, it's not easy either. I know a few couples who have made that work over many years. And I know many couples who could not. 

It's good the OP decided against it, for probably several reasons, but the main thing I picked up was the working together issue. Workplaces can really become messy with this sort of thing going on.


Like someone else mentioned, FFM mixes either tend to be 2 females enjoying themselves with a guy just watching, or a very busy guy trying to please everyone. Which isn't the porn fantasy version in most cases..


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## leon2100 (May 13, 2015)

Seriously? I'm suppose to believe this post? Fantasies are not reality!!


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## Satisfied Mind (Jan 29, 2019)

StuckInLove said:


> This, I'm unsure. They do often have "girl time" with each other but there's always others there (which I can be damn confident they aren't getting it on with), they've never gone off together, alone....at least not a significant amount of time. Having said that, *if the situation was right, and this other woman propositioned my wife without me being present, I don't think my wife would say no*, but I also am confident she would be honest with me about it after the fact.





StuckInLove said:


> Yeah, the more and more I think about this, I would actually see the other woman falling in love with my wife, and *my wife has a hard time with the word "no" so I can only assume any passes this woman would make in the future without me there would not be denied.* I think she'd be honest with me about it, but yeah....can of worms.


Maybe I'm missing the forest for the giant red flag the OP is waving, but he essentially conceded that he could see his wife cheating on him, but no biggie because she'd be honest about it. Gus nailed it. There's a lot more to this story that the OP did not share, and if his wife hasn't cheated on him already, it's only a matter of time.


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