# Sexting gone wrong



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

We love ****s. We do not love **** pics!! Where is the mystery?? YMMV.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Funny convo with my niece recently about the origin of the word of testimony. Apparently it comes from men swearing on their testes as if that increases the value of the witness. She and I had a fun time talking about swearing on our labia, like wtf? It is just a body part. Why not swear on one's tongue that actually speaks? If we are going to be random, why not swear on one's leg?


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

Honestly, I would have laughed and promised my hubby I'd save him a trip to the chiropractor and take good care of him.

But I'm a little twisted lol


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Does she mean homosexual or ... yucky?


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

inmyprime said:


> And: if you could, would you? (as a straight man).


Not going to answer that, don't want to be pre-judged! lol

Anyway, I thought your text was funny, but I can understand your wife's reaction. The genders…..they be different!

I wonder if your wife had a vision flash through her head, ''…omg, IMP is going to go to yoga class, get all flexible and I'll be out of a job!"

Anyway, great story, don't sweat it.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

This - ladies - is an example of why men are hesitant to engage in dirty talk - or even rough sex play.

You start getting a little crazy - pushing boundaries - having fun - and then you suddenly cross some line that you didn't even know existed! All the momentum - GONE!


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

I think it is a bankable fact that anytime a man expresses a desire to suck a penis (regardless of its owner) it will be seen as a homosexual tendency by the vast majority of the western population. Accept it. 

What other things do you do that she views as "gay"?


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

Here ya go…..


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

zookeeper said:


> I think it is a bankable fact that anytime a man expresses a desire to suck a penis (regardless of its owner) it will be seen as a homosexual tendency by the vast majority of the western population. Accept it.
> 
> What other things do you do that she views as "gay"?


Which is weird since bisexuality in women is accepted. I think this is fear projection on the part of straight guys.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

inmyprime said:


> ...with the phrase 'it's so shiny and happy looking...


This is what I thought of when you said the quoted above….my demented humour.


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## VermiciousKnid (Nov 14, 2017)

If I could reach, I'd never leave the house.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

The truth is wether we will admit it or not if all men could suck their own penis, women would rule the world be default as no men would leave the house.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Double jointed back.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

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## I shouldnthave (Apr 11, 2018)

> "it's so shiny and happy looking, if you refuse to suck on it later, I will have to do it myself'.


Yeah.... You would have lost me there. I find it a pretty unsexy comment.

For ME, here is the recipe for dirty talk - let me know that you want me, that you lust for me, and that you are horny.

Declaring your penis looks really good, and that if I didn't want it, you would suck it yourself... Turn off.

My I am currently on the train - on the way home from work to see my husband. He has has a stressful day, and I know he needs a proper distraction 

First he texted about how he couldn't wait for me to get home, and how much he wanted me.

Then he sent a "**** pick" only I am in it too, it's from Monday night when I was going down on him (Monday night was a lot of fun).

Then he said how hot I looked in the pic, and he can't wait to see that same naughty look on my face.

Followed by another **** pick "I am throbbing for you, hurry home".

See the difference?

I wouldn't tell him "my ***** looks amazing, and if you don't want it, I am going to use a toy"

I tell him "I am aching for you, my ***** wants you so bad I can hardly concentrate"


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

inmyprime said:


> The whole glory hole/penis thread made me get the ruler out (had to find one that was long enough first ) while wife was texting me things she was going to do to me when we next see each other....Proud with the results, I sent her the picture (in the full glory of the most flattering angle...yeah I know, it's slow day at work...) with the phrase 'it's so shiny and happy looking, if you refuse to suck on it later, I will have to do it myself'.
> 
> Of course I get back a: :wtf:
> She started the whole thing about me acting all gay again and the mood kind of soured...
> ...


To me your wife's reaction was way over the top ... not to mention insulting.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

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## I shouldnthave (Apr 11, 2018)

inmyprime said:


> I know it's weird. And I sometimes wind her up like this which - if she is hormonal and it's _that_ week before her period which I think it is, if my calendar is correct - causes her to have an allergic reaction.


Funny, my husband defects the estrogen spike that preceeds menstruation and gets CRAZY HORNY. And him being horny gets me horny so it works.

For the longest time I couldn't figure out why he would get Soo horny - and then I would get my period - until I learned about the estrogen spike. 

But for some reason this isn't true for the spike I should get at ovulation - it's like even subconsciously / pheromone level we know we don't want to get pregnant.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

inmyprime said:


> I wonder if there's an evolutionary reason for this ridongulous behaviour.


It probably just me but I've always felt that fretting over "evolutionary reasons" is respect to sex is such a distraction. Back in the day I drove this chick's Aston Martin from the Atlanta Airport to her place about 90 miles north. Not once did I concern myself with the evolution of British sports cars.


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## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

I can accept most thing my husband does with his body parts but I am sure I do not like he idea of him oraling himself, whether I am there or not. It is a gay thing to do. I agree with your wife on that one. 

I never sext. I prefer verbal, in case I lose my phone.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

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## Married-Man (Dec 6, 2011)

NobodySpecial said:


> Funny convo with my niece recently about the origin of the word of testimony. Apparently it comes from men swearing on their testes as if that increases the value of the witness.





http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-swe1.htm


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

inmyprime said:


> But so must be giving oneself a handjob (also known as masturbating, by another name).
> It seems odd that women have such aversion to the image of men pleasuring themselves.
> 
> 
> ...


Most men masturbating are not motivated by how good their own penis looks. You keep commenting on how magnificent your penis looked and mentioned that it even overshadowed your wife's face. Do you not see the difference? If you want to blow yourself because you are turned on by your penis it is erroneous to draw a correlation with another man thinking about a woman while jacking off. 

In any case, you wife has made it quite clear that she doesn't like this stuff. Is making such jokes that important to you or do you think maybe you could listen to her and stop?


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Married-Man said:


> World Wide Words: Swearing on one?s testicles


Well there ya go. you learn something new every day.


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

I shouldnthave said:


> I wouldn't tell him "my ***** looks amazing, and if you don't want it, I am going to use a toy"
> 
> I tell him "I am aching for you, my ***** wants you so bad I can hardly concentrate"


While the second one is very nice, I gotta admit the first text above is not going to dissuade me and provoke a reaction like InmyPrime's wife's. 

I would probably just say "yes it does look amazing and I'll want it after I watch you pleasure yourself with the toy" :grin2:


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## PaulB (Jun 26, 2018)

inmyprime said:


> We need more structures shaped as vajayjays :iagree:, if you asked me (but nobody is).


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## MapMan (Dec 11, 2015)

NobodySpecial said:


> Funny convo with my niece recently about the origin of the word of testimony. Apparently it comes from men swearing on their testes as if that increases the value of the witness. She and I had a fun time talking about swearing on our labia, like wtf? It is just a body part. Why not swear on one's tongue that actually speaks? If we are going to be random, why not swear on one's leg?


The notion was that as a woman didn't have testes, her word couldn't be trusted.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

Your wife is sexting with you, tells you all the things she'll do to you later, and you reply with ''if you don't suck it, I'll do it myself?''

With a pic? 

Epic sexting fail. 

It sounds like that just wasn't what she was expecting when she was telling you that she'd do all these things later to you...she likely was hoping you'd say in return what you might do to her. Not what you'd do to yourself lol


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

IMHO, when you are sexting with someone in a long term relationship, they should take what you are posting in the best reasonable light. No one wants to be worrying whether something they post maybe offend / disturb the recipient. This is supposed to be fun with the person you love. 

Sometimes people flub texts - Fine. Just laugh it off and keep going.


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