# Just wondering



## Just Wondering (Dec 20, 2011)

As a man it becomes rather hard to have anyone to visit with concerning lack of sex in marriage. Maybe its different for females to sit and chat about private things like this.
Anyways I guess Am turning to your Guys for a little help today to get thur some rough times. Am HD married to a LD female or do I say No drive married 32 yrs. and this is how we roll. I own where am at with this whole thing. Maybe I created it ?? I am married to a women that has absolutely very little desire for and besides duty sex once every ten days. The women could care less for anything else.
Shes a wonderful person, Pretty, Good shape, Pleasant to be with. Will do anything for me, Go with the flow, Just no need for sex. She will drop her pants for you and say Well have a go.She will say to you hurry up. Setting here writing to you all, I wonder what is it I want to say. I don know ?? Looking for some comfort. It is what it is. Always been this way. And it gets lonely. Its a shame when you need affection,Touch, sexual companionship and you have everything else in life, But not that. I do know that you can not change a alpha LD female nor could she change me. Just wish I could find some balance or peace with it all. Its very painful to live this way. Its very sad and empty . But I need to man up and take it. Really how could someone careless about being affectionate and romantic and want to be held and made love to ?? And them to not be lonely. Why does she act so fulfilled in life ??


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Why does she act this way? Probably because you're continuing to meet her needs even as she isn't meeting yours. Or she feels that she is by giving you pity sex every 10 days. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## changedbeliefs (Jun 13, 2014)

You've been in a marriage for 32 years, not getting one of your mot basic needs, and one that many consider vital to a marriage, satisfied?!? I don't understand your wife's zero drive, but the problem now is clearly yours, for putting up with it for so long. She may be super nice, but there's lot of nice people in the world, and all of it combined isn't enough for me to put up with my wife simply shoving her rear at me 3x/month, sighing and going, "ok, just get it over with."


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## Giro flee (Mar 12, 2013)

I feel so bad for you. {{hugs}}. Is divorce completely off the table? What about an open marriage?

I'm a no drive wife who is making it work with her husband. If I hadn't found a way to satisfy my husband I would have wanted him to leave me, I love him and want him to be happy. 

Maybe you just needed to vent? I hear your pain and don't think people should be so deprived....sorry.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

She won't change. You can do nothing to change her. You can only do something about yourself. And it sounds like you won't do anything other than vent - which is a start.


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## Just Wondering (Dec 20, 2011)

Giro flee said:


> I feel so bad for you. {{hugs}}. Is divorce completely off the table? What about an open marriage?
> 
> I'm a no drive wife who is making it work with her husband. If I hadn't found a way to satisfy my husband I would have wanted him to leave me, I love him and want him to be happy.
> 
> Maybe you just needed to vent? I hear your pain and don't think people should be so deprived....sorry.


Thanks for caring , Am 59 yrs old Its way to late for Divorce and scary . I have grand children , Family, We have so much all together. I have said this before and people will climb all over me for it. But we have everything two people would ever want in life. But we do not have a psychical relationship. Yes we can cuddle , Kiss go bye,Good night, But this women can go forever with no sex, Affection , And when one does not need those things in life ,It become very painful for the other. I am not a newly married 20 yr. old . But I so need to have what I can't have in my Marriage. My wife does understand me and she does get that I have needs. She will come right out and say she does not require it.
When we do have sex , She will say OK lets get this done, Or Ok I am not interested so am doing this for you so hurry up. Or not again we just did this last week.


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## Just Wondering (Dec 20, 2011)

PBear said:


> Why does she act this way? Probably because you're continuing to meet her needs even as she isn't meeting yours. Or she feels that she is by giving you pity sex every 10 days.
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You know am not new to this as you are not ether. I have done the thing of pulling back, Stop meeting her needs. Stop being a good man to her. I have done it all my friend. Its a shame the way it is for me. I can't go thur life being someone different then who I am. Am a good man full of life, love and affection. She must be a-sexual


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## TheStranger (Jan 14, 2013)

Just Wondering said:


> Why does she act so fulfilled in life ??


This is easy. Some people are willing to spend hours preparing and eating a delightful meal while some people will stuff their mouth on the go just to get it over with as fast as possible. 

You two are different people sexually. It's unfortunate to be incompatible in something so important.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

If divorce isn't an option, you could ask for an open relationship. The downside is that if she says yes, you may no longer even get duty sex occasionally, since she'll expect you to get it elsewhere. You could end up worse off than you are now. Or much better.


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## Giro flee (Mar 12, 2013)

Just Wondering said:


> Thanks for caring , Am 59 yrs old Its way to late for Divorce and scary . I have grand children , Family, We have so much all together. I have said this before and people will climb all over me for it. But we have everything two people would ever want in life. But we do not have a psychical relationship. Yes we can cuddle , Kiss go bye,Good night, But this women can go forever with no sex, Affection , And when one does not need those things in life ,It become very painful for the other. I am not a newly married 20 yr. old . But I so need to have what I can't have in my Marriage. My wife does understand me and she does get that I have needs. She will come right out and say she does not require it.
> When we do have sex , She will say OK lets get this done, Or Ok I am not interested so am doing this for you so hurry up. Or not again we just did this last week.


My aunt just got married at 64. She and her new husband look pretty happy. It is never too late to find happiness and love. 

The scary thing I get, there's no guarantee that you would find a new love, and divorces can get really ugly. I really don't know what I would do at this point. I feel for you....


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