# What is soooo important about BJ's??



## beachbabe

Would love some input on why BJ's are so important to you guys?


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## the guy

beside feeling awsome, it a great way to show you care!


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## WorkingOnMe

To me it's very intimate. More so than sex since some women will have sex with you but not give a bj. So if my wife does it it makes me feel close to her. Some guys will say it about true acceptance and I agree with that, even if it does sound a little cliche. I also believe the opposite. That is, if you don't do it then there is a lack of acceptance (keeping in mind that love doesn't exist without acceptance). Of course these are just my own thoughts. Some men and many women will disagree.


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## NewHubs

This is going to be an interesting thread...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mineforever

I am a wife but I want to answer this one, hope you don't mind. Giving my big guy a bj is one of my favorite things to do to. It gives me more pleasure than just about anything. It is one of the most sensual things there is. Tasting his essence, feeling his skin on your lips, kissing and s**king him ... all the while keeping eye contact with him. It is one of the most intimate bonding things you can do with your husband. 

There is nothing a wife can do more intimate than this as for her husband. Just my opinion.


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## In_The_Wind

Its the male equivalent to getting Roses !!!!


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## arbitrator

*I feel that it's the equivalent of cunnilingus to you ladies! Truth be known, when I do that for my lady, even though I may send her to Cloud No. 9, the majority of the composite pleasure is mine ~ I just love to see, hear, and feel her physical responses to all of the oral pleasure that I'm providing her!

That being said, I truly feel that the same holds just as true for a woman lovingly giving her man a BJ.

At least for me as the recipient, it just absolutely makes time stand still!*


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## Married but Happy

Would you be happy to forego oral for yourself, OP?

BJs are far more intense than anything else, and I can just focus on the sensations without anything else going on to distract me. It's not a replacement for intercourse, but a great occasional alternative or supplement.


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## Runs like Dog

They've been around for a long time. Someone must think they're a good idea.


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## Omgitsjoe

There's nothing so empowering for us men than to sit back and watch a pretty woman going " to town " on one's ahem ahem !!!! 

Even more of a turnon is when she's obviously enjoying herself and luuvs what she's doing


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## NextTimeAround

WorkingOnMe said:


> T*o me it's very intimate. More so than sex since some women will have sex with you but not give a bj. *So if my wife does it it makes me feel close to her. Some guys will say it about true acceptance and I agree with that, even if it does sound a little cliche. I also believe the opposite. That is, if you don't do it then there is a lack of acceptance (keeping in mind that love doesn't exist without acceptance). Of course these are just my own thoughts. Some men and many women will disagree.


But I read on message boards where 20 something women are perfectly ok with giving a guy a blow job and not equating it with sex. More like a handshake. I'm still trying to figure out where this sentiment comes from.


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## WorkingOnMe

NextTimeAround said:


> But I read on message boards where 20 something women are perfectly ok with giving a guy a blow job and not equating it with sex. More like a handshake. I'm still trying to figure out where this sentiment comes from.


Well 20 year olds aren't really my frame of reference. At least not for a couple decades they haven't been. If I ever become single again I suppose I'll have to keep telling myself that just because she gives a bj doesn't mean she loves you. But I'll still always believe the opposite is true.


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## Caribbean Man

BJ's are awesome_ if _a woman knows her partner's apparatus, its most sensitive parts , what feels good , how much pressure to apply , how to tease , how to gauge his response and is confident in what she's doing.

Sadly, this is not always the case.

The same applies to handjobs.


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## Shoto1984

Great posts for the OP. I would also say that its part of wanting to please your partner. For me that is part of loving your partner. If I love her there is no "no" (as long was we're talking about just she and I). If she enjoys chocolate syrup then I'm going to have gallons at the ready. So its partly about the attitude you bring to the relationship. Another thing to think about is sexual skills. Giving great oral is a skill and something to aspire to (again because you know he/she enjoys it and you want to give them pleasure.....)


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## Holland

I can't answer from a mans POV being a woman and all. But just wanted to add that even though I cannot understand or feel what he feels I can say with certainty that it is an intense experience for him. After a mind blowing BJ he holds me so tight that I have to ask for air. 

Big difference between a love filled BJ and a BJ just for the sake of it. When it is done with love, desire and enthusiasm the result for the man is a very deep feeling of connectedness. Well it is for my partner anyway


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## Holland

I can't answer from a mans POV being a woman and all. But just wanted to add that even though I cannot understand or feel what he feels I can say with certainty that it is an intense experience for him. After a mind blowing BJ he holds me so tight that I have to ask for air. 

Big difference between a love filled BJ and a BJ just for the sake of it. When it is done with love, desire and enthusiasm the result for the man is a very deep feeling of connectedness. Well it is for my partner anyway


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## that_girl

I'm so over BJs at this point. They were once my favorite thing to do.

Probably because my husband isn't truthful, doesn't respect my need for the truth, and expected BJs and the such even though I was emotionally dying (and told him so).

Gross. NO. I'm sure they feel good, but if men want them, they better treat their woman right.


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## Deejo

We actually don't like them at all. 

We just don't want to hurt your feelings about it, so we pretend they are the best thing you could possibly do ... like ever.

Man, I feel better that's out there now.


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## beachbabe

That girl: I hear you....kinda. I associate BJ's with disrespect because I had a bad experience with a guy that I thought I could trust to get me home when I was very intoxicated. (I was 19...) I think that, that could be my hang up. My husband is NOTHING like that!

Deejo....Whew!!! Finally someone being truthful!! LOL LOL


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## beachbabe

working on me: I really like your answers! They are a great help to me...thanks


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## barbados

Don't know if I have anything new to add here, but getting a BJ is freakin' great ! I'm one of the lucky ones. Its been a regular part of my sexual life for over 26+ years, including this morning !


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## RandomDude

Errr, it gets us off

What either reason do you need?


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## ohno

beachbabe said:


> Would love some input on why BJ's are so important to you guys?


It is really a very very very nice visual and men are quite visual, it feels really really good and it is definitely a sign of appreciation. It is like roses, taking out the garbage, listening to a long story for the millionth time, holding your purse, and snuggling all rolled into one. 

A long, loving, attentive, and enthusiastic blowjob is something a man will remember for the rest of his life. I am completely serious. You want a man to be putty in your hands? Give good head and a lot of it, insist on it, as a reward for good behavior. Take it away as punishment for bad behavior. It is a very simple and effective method of conditioning. 

just my opinion


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## SimplyAmorous

mineforever said:


> I am a wife but I want to answer this one, hope you don't mind. Giving my big guy a bj is one of my favorite things to do to. It gives me more pleasure than just about anything. It is one of the most sensual things there is. Tasting his essence, feeling his skin on your lips, kissing and s**king him ... all the while keeping eye contact with him. It is one of the most intimate bonding things you can do with your husband.
> 
> There is nothing a wife can do more intimate than this as for her husband. Just my opinion.


Love this post..:smthumbup: 

I can tell you this, when I didn't care to give my husband them (I was repressed in some ways)...just associated this act with porn & things that should have never been....I was sexually uneducated and well.. MISSING IT badly...thankfully those days are blown to the wind...and I so much regret those lost years -where this should have been!

My husband didn't feel *AS LOVED* by me.. and ya know.. this is huge.. if you want to LOVE YOUR MAN... you need to "Make love" and show your adoration for his penis.. it's really as simple as that! 

This is always a man's 1st love..just heard this recently... if a man or woman is in a coma, when the woman wakes up..she 1st asks... are the kids alright -she asks about her loved ones as soon as she opens her eyes...what does a man do... the looks down to see if it is still there!

We as women have the sheer power...the gift to make him feel more loved than you could even begin to imagine by wanting to go there..by loving him in this way.... it is the one of the greatest gifts we can give to them as wives...


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## Blondilocks

"It is like roses, taking out the garbage, listening to a long story for the millionth time, holding your purse, and snuggling all rolled into one."

So, it's no big deal then? I don't know if I should laugh or cry over the above statement.


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## sparkyjim

arbitrator said:


> *I feel that it's the equivalent of cunnilingus to you ladies! Truth be known, when I do that for my lady, even though I may send her to Cloud No. 9, the majority of the composite pleasure is mine ~ I just love to see, hear, and feel her physical responses to all of the oral pleasure that I'm providing her!
> 
> That being said, I truly feel that the same holds just as true for a woman lovingly giving her man a BJ.
> 
> At least for me as the recipient, it just absolutely makes time stand still!*


This ^^^ I love pleasing my woman orally. She is in to it and I do a good job of really making her squirm. I am the director, I am in charge, I am the one pleasing her. I love to feel her quiver, I love to hear her moan, I make eye contact also - not a lot - but some. 

I actually have a harder time coming from oral than from V but I love the foreplay part of it. It is intimate, and it does make you feel good to know that your lover loves to make you feel good.


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## wranglerman

There is nothing "important" about them.

But by engaging in the act of su**ing your mans c0ck you are in essence giving yourself to him.

I understand a lot more about the younger generations equating BJs to hand shakes, where most of us think of making out to be kissing and closeness and maybe it's evolution to include a finger fumble, and for guys it's next natural progression is BJ's and far easier for a girl to go down on a guy than a guy a girl, especially in a dating situation(think movies, Mac D's parking lot  pool house etc,.) and in this day and age girls are having the "feel empowered" speeches rammed down their throats from a young age and therefore their feeling of empowerment is to lower their moral and sexual standing, I think :scratchhead:


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## Married but Happy

Deejo said:


> We actually don't like them at all.
> 
> We just don't want to hurt your feelings about it, so we pretend they are the best thing you could possibly do ... like ever.
> 
> Man, I feel better that's out there now.


Sarcasm - is that the intellectual equivalent of Orgasm?


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## OhGeesh

Don't care about BJ's almost at all!!


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## chillymorn

hmm, Important because as a lover you should want to please your partner.

isn't that what makes a good lover? comunicating what feels good and trying your best to be their best.


it seems some people of both genders are just too selfish or inhibited to really get that princable.

Its funny how some really like to recieve but have some adversion to giving.......sad really.


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## NewHubs

I sense a lot of hate on this topic.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chillymorn

NewHubs said:


> I sense a lot of hate on this topic.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


not hate but disapointment.


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## I Notice The Details

Why is a BJ important to me?....for the same reason giving my wife oral sex is important to her. When I have my warm, wet mouth and talented tongue on her clitoris....ONLY for the purpose of giving her pleasure...SHE loves it. I love it when she does the same to me. It is the same thing in my mind. Both acts are very sensual and give great pleasure.

I also find getting a BJ from my wife even more sexy because it rarely happens. When it does happen, it is fantastic, and I savor the moment. 

I will admit that I love....being totally surprised, and taken off guard by my wife, with her pulling my pants and underwear off without notice, and engulfing my stallion while it is still flaccid in her warm, wet mouth...Her taking total control of this now erotic situation that she created...allowing me to watch and feel this intimate act of pleasure, all ending in an extremely pleasurable orgasm for me. 

THIS is an INCREDIBLE act of love for any woman to give to a man! That is why it is soooo important.


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## Dad&Hubby

For me.

A BJ isn't just a release. But let me preface one thing. My wife has to WANT to give me one. I don't ask for BJs, because that defeats what I get out of them.

A BJ is an act of love my wife willingly gives to me. It's two fold, 1. it's her giving herself to me unselfishly that shows her love for me 2. It shows she's into me and wants to pleasure me. It shows me she values me in our relationship.

Making someone else orgasm through your actions that don't include YOUR gaining pleasure is the ultimate in intimacy. It shows you are completely and totally into that person. There are very few selfless sexual acts you can do. Almost everything sexual has pleasure for both parties.

This is also why I love to go down on my wife. I love her and want her to feel that love in her body.


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## Anon Pink

A woman I know has 4 sons. The youngest, at age 5, was being taught to leave the little man alone while in public but told in the home he could check the little man as often as he wished. She told many hilarious stories of teaching her youngest not to fondle himself and his love affair with his penis. But the best one was when he came out of his bedroom wearing just his shirt, hugged my friend and said, in a loving and soft voice, "Mommy, I love my penis so much, can we take a picture of it now?":rofl: how do you keep a straight face for that one?

Men LOVE their penises and they need a wife who will show their love for and acceptance of his penis and his love for his penis. It's really that simple.

Women don't automatically love their vulva's. Lots of mess, inconvenient and painful down there at times. It just doesn't translate love of cunillingus with love of fellatio for women. We need to understand a man's POV is vastly different from a woman's.

You had a bad experience and now you lump BJs into the category of giving love that is not returned. Well you are married now and while passion ebbs and flows, a man will always equate your love for him with your love for his penis.

A good wife takes good care of her husbands penis.


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## LonelyinLove

My husband loves BJs. I love him. I do it to please him. 

And it's funny, the older I get, the longer I'm with him, the more it turns me on to turn him on.

Maybe it's supposed to work like that.....


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## unbelievable

They weren't important at all to me until I met my wife. Holy Smoke! If someone knows what they're doing, it's pretty incredible.


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## sinnister

Dealbreaker without them.

Just an absolute non-starter.


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## MaritimeGuy

In my mind the difference is when you're having PIV sex you need to concentrate on your partner. When you're getting a BJ you can just lay back and enjoy. It's a totally different dynamic.


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## DesertRat1978

I am a strange guy on this topic. I could not care less if a woman ever gives me a BJ. I have some issues from growing up that have ruined my desire for these things. My guess is that men crave it for sake of variety. Something different from the usual intercourse.


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## annet

I don't like to give my husband BJs. That's all he ever wants. I get nothing. I guess that is why I'm so turned off by them.


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## norajane

Anon Pink said:


> A woman I know has 4 sons. The youngest, at age 5, was being taught to leave the little man alone while in public but told in the home he could check the little man as often as he wished. She told many hilarious stories of teaching her youngest not to fondle himself and his love affair with his penis. But the best one was when he came out of his bedroom wearing just his shirt, hugged my friend and said, in a loving and soft voice, "Mommy, I love my penis so much, can we take a picture of it now?":rofl: how do you keep a straight face for that one?
> 
> *Men LOVE their penises and they need a wife who will show their love for and acceptance of his penis and his love for his penis. It's really that simple.*
> 
> Women don't automatically love their vulva's. Lots of mess, inconvenient and painful down there at times. It just doesn't translate love of cunillingus with love of fellatio for women. We need to understand a man's POV is vastly different from a woman's.
> 
> You had a bad experience and now you lump BJs into the category of giving love that is not returned. Well you are married now and while passion ebbs and flows, a man will always equate your love for him with your love for his penis.
> 
> A good wife takes good care of her husbands penis.


:iagree:

This has been my experience, too. Every man ever in the history of the world LOVES his penis _SO MUCH_. I don't really understand it as I don't feel that way about my own parts, but it is very much true.


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## Caribbean Man

unbelievable said:


> They weren't important at all to me until I met my wife. Holy Smoke! If someone knows what they're doing, it's pretty incredible.


:iagree:
Same here.
I actually taught her exactly how I liked having it done , she used her creativity and added a few_ mind blowing_ variations to it.


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## okeydokie

Because I can't give them to myself


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## Omgitsjoe

*Re: Re: What is soooo important about BJ's??*



okeydokie said:


> Because I can't give them to myself


How perfect would life be unmmmm if only  ??


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## marko

me and my wife have been together for 25 years now and she has sucked it for me but never actually did a full bj until last month. she was doing a great job and it felt so good, I told her I was going to cum and basically begged her to not stop, she did not. When I came she did not swallow but basically slobbered it all over my stomach which I was fine with. 

I kissed her deep after and had really a new appreciation for her. we have done a few other things since that she equates with giving me pleasure that I am happy with. she does it out of love not out of some sense of duty, and that to me is a complete turn on.

not sure why she suddenly took it in her mouth but I am not going to complain. Maybe she read up on the topic on the site...hhmmmmm.


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## lfortender

I love it but she doesn't do it often, i have to ask, she never takes the initiative.


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## KFS

I love doing this for my hubby. It's "the worship of his c*ck" - a long session of pure bliss - and a beautiful way to give your man pleasure.


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## bunny23

NextTimeAround said:


> But I read on message boards where 20 something women are perfectly ok with giving a guy a blow job and not equating it with sex. More like a handshake. I'm still trying to figure out where this sentiment comes from.



Yeah.. it's usually girls who say anal is okay too... just not vaginal... because that is for marriage. Makes them virgins... 

**shudder**

Personally I could go without the oral for me (I have other tastes) , but if I really love a guy and feel 100% secure I enjoy the bj almost as much as he does.
There has only been 2 people that I felt that way about.

I soon realized that my stbx was not one of them because he never made me feel secure (he would make stupid comments during sex and viewed sexy undies as "trying too hard")

Plus a bj is more um.... versatile... you can do it anywhere to spice it up or totally blow his mind... (no pun)


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## bunny23

Don't you *men* think that a lot of pressure is on you during sex and foreplay? You probably constantly keep us in mind and what your next moves will be to make us totally forget EVERYTHING.

But when a woman stops and does something for you where you can just enjoy it and feel all that melt away?

I would imagine a lot of men have mental charts of what makes their woman go wild... and are constantly focused on that in the bedroom.


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## bunny23

lfortender said:


> I love it but she doesn't do it often, i have to ask, she never takes the initiative.


Figure out why..I will tell you that when I was with my real serious boyfriend I was intimidated... before him I did do it but never on the same level mentally.

He made me really comfortable and all that went away. Make sure you are giving her positive reinforcement not only when you want it.. but even when you don't.

Sometimes taking a shower together helps...

I would equate this to a woman not liking to be on top, it's intimidating... as per my other posts men are so much more "controlling' and in touch with our bodies.. I would even say less inhibited. We tend to overthink... and it can scare us from trying to enjoy something.

I was NEVER a fan of it... but when I was with this one guy I totally got why it's so erotic, and pleasurable for me.

Women are NOT taught how to read men in the bedroom, our first experiences are usually with men taking the lead.


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## DesertRat1978

Bunny23,

You are pretty spot on with me. I put a lot of pressure on myself because I want to make it amazing each and every time. She is amazing outside of the bedroom and treats me like a king so why not repay the favor. When the wife and i are intimate, I make it all about her. I store away those little things that make it better for her. I admit to getting somewhat formulaic at times. I make it about her because I like it anyway it comes. If I make it good for her, she will want more or so I would think.


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## unbelievable

okeydokie said:


> Because I can't give them to myself


I wouldn't want to. I know where it's been.


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## marko

bunny23 said:


> Don't you *men* think that a lot of pressure is on you during sex and foreplay? You probably constantly keep us in mind and what your next moves will be to make us totally forget EVERYTHING.
> 
> But when a woman stops and does something for you where you can just enjoy it and feel all that melt away?
> 
> I would imagine a lot of men have mental charts of what makes their woman go wild... and are constantly focused on that in the bedroom.


you are spot on. I am always worrying about making her orgasm, or am I rubbing to hard or pulling to much etc. when she goes down on me I can relax and let it happen, then make things go right for her. 

there are times when I know she just wants to pull out one of her toys and take care of business, no worries about wheat I am doing back there or if I want something different etc. I am fine with that, I am glad she can take care of herself.


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## chillymorn

okeydokie said:


> Because I can't give them to myself


:scratchhead:even if I could don't think I could.


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## bunny23

Yeah I figured the guys who are all about their lady put a lot of effort into it.

TRUST me.. we appreciate that.

It is kind of amazing with all the different things women like that you guys can figure US out, sometimes with direction other times just by being in tune and picking that stuff up. I really admire that in men.

I wish we as women were taught that more.. and had the confidence to try new things. 

I am all about whatever BUT only if I am 100% comfortable that this person is there for me on every level. 
I say whatever makes you and your partner happy is all that matters


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## bunny23

chillymorn said:


> :scratchhead:even if I could don't think I could.


More Yoga? 

Yeah IDK I have seen some crazy things...


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## BrokenVows

I wasn't going to post because OP was asking a man's point of view, but I'm going to defy the rules. I think BJ's are important if they are important to your partner. My husband loves them and I love giving them to him for the mere fact that I love experiencing his escalating pure enjoyment. That's the whole point isn't it, pleasing your partner? If not, then what's the sense? To each their own. For those who's efforts are not reciprocated, I grant you reprive. It can't be all take and no give.


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## that_girl

MaritimeGuy said:


> In my mind the difference is when you're having PIV sex you need to concentrate on your partner. When you're getting a BJ you can just lay back and enjoy. It's a totally different dynamic.


Hm. Maybe that was part of the problem in my marriage towards the end.

PIV was all about him. BJs were all about him. He never ever never went down on me.

Yea. No thanks.


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## treyvion

that_girl said:


> Hm. Maybe that was part of the problem in my marriage towards the end.
> 
> PIV was all about him. BJs were all about him. He never ever never went down on me.
> 
> Yea. No thanks.


You know better than to do that again.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## I Notice The Details

BrokenVows said:


> I wasn't going to post because OP was asking a man's point of view, but I'm going to defy the rules. I think BJ's are important if they are important to your partner. My husband loves them and I love giving them to him for the mere fact that I love experiencing his escalating pure enjoyment. That's the whole point isn't it, pleasing your partner? If not, then what's the sense? To each their own. For those who's efforts are not reciprocated, I grant you reprive. It can't be all take and no give.


Your husband is a lucky man BV!!!!!!!!!!!


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## chillymorn

whats so important about flowers,compliments, and conversation?


the importance is showing your lover that you care about pleasing him in the ways he likes to be pleased.


this goes for both genders.

if your lover comunicates its important then it should be important for you to try to meet their needs.

how come you never buy me flowers anymore = how come you never give me head any more.

I think flowers are kinda waste of money. there over priced and die in a week but if it make my wife feel good and loved then well worth it. I think the same could be said for head. she might not relish doing them but if it make your man feel special then you would be foolish to ignor it.


I'm not saying everything is tit of tat but everything is kinda that way. both partners should always have it in the back of their mind to be as recprical as possible some times the wife gets more attention and some times the husband gets more attention. it should even out in the long run.


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## MaritimeGuy

that_girl said:


> He never ever never went down on me.


Too bad...he really missed out on one of lifes great pleasures.


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## Kobo

It's always funny to see men try to describe in terms that are non offensive to women.


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## jman

what's so important? the rarity of them when you're married...


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## Holland

chillymorn said:


> ......
> 
> how come you never buy me flowers anymore = how come you never give me head any more.
> 
> *I think flowers are kinda waste of money. there over priced and die in a week but if it make my wife feel good and loved then well worth it.* I think the same could be said for head. she might not relish doing them but if it make your man feel special then you would be foolish to ignor it.
> 
> 
> I'm not saying everything is tit of tat but everything is kinda that way. both partners should always have it in the back of their mind to be as recprical as possible some times the wife gets more attention and some times the husband gets more attention. it should even out in the long run.


I love getting flowers, means he was thinking about me on the way home, they brighten the house and for the next week every time I look at them I smile and think of him. Might be a waste of money because they don't last long yes, but personally they hold a huge value from a non monetary POV.

Thing with Mr H is that the first time he gave me flowers he was very apprehensive because his ex wife once threw them at him when he brought some home. 

Flowers won't fix a crappy relationship but they certainly add colour to a good relationship, much like BJ's do


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## beachbabe

Kobo said:


> It's always funny to see men try to describe in terms that are non offensive to women.


Well 'funny' wouldn't be the word I'd use....'cute', 'charming' and 'sweet' maybe? I think this thread is important for men to tell us really what they think of BJ's...I for one, think everyone was honest and weren't crude...that would of wrecked it for me.


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## Deejo

sinnister said:


> Dealbreaker without them.
> 
> Just an absolute non-starter.


Seconded.


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## WadeWilson

For me, it is important, it's more than sex for me... Well, how do I explain it? It's receiving a mirrored expression that I put out returned to me. I can easily describe how I give to my wife. When it comes to oral for her... I'm hungry.. Hungry for her love, her essence, her flavor... She is unique, above all other women to me, I feel I'm in a trusted place with her and its a bond we share. When I feel I have that level of trust, I don't want to limit or hinder my exploration with her, tasting all she's willing/capable to give... Feeling her breathing move from long to shallow, and back again, knowing she's enjoying every bit of it. 

Soooo... With that, that's how I feel, and that's what I want in return, kind of a "You get what you put in." deal. If I'm willing to go that distance to give pleasure, I would hope that person would be too. Now, if they weren't, lets just say I would not be interested in a one sided relationship.


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## cowboy1

beachbabe said:


> Would love some input on why BJ's are so important to you guys?


I didn't realize until now wife posted to this website.


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## I Notice The Details

cowboy1 said:


> I didn't realize until now wife posted to this website.


Cowboy1

Be proud that your wife is interested in why men think like they do....especially when she is trying to understand the importance of oral sex! I think you are a lucky husband. 

I could only dream about my wife getting on TAM to get opinions and understand the importance of oral sex to men. She is too busy with other things to take the time to do this.


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## cowboy1

I Notice The Details said:


> Cowboy1
> 
> Be proud that your wife is interested in why men think like they do....especially when she is trying to understand the importance of oral sex! I think you are a lucky husband.
> 
> I could only dream about my wife getting on TAM to get opinions and understand the importance of oral sex to men. She is too busy with other things to take the time to do this.


It was a joke, alluding to not getting blowjobs. Sorry I had to spell it out for you.


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## Balzaar

Well my wife was not really good at this early on but that did not bother me. Within the past 5 years she has decided she likes this and while she is still not great at it she absolutely loves doing it. I think she comes close to orgasm when she does it and yes that is very hot.


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## marko

Balzaar said:


> Well my wife was not really good at this early on but that did not bother me. Within the past 5 years she has decided she likes this and while she is still not great at it she absolutely loves doing it. I think she comes close to orgasm when she does it and yes that is very hot.


a book called "deep throat" by Linda Lovelace. it was about a woman who had her g-spot in her throat, she would orgasm when giving head. it was in my dad's books, I read it when I was about 13. blew my mind with all the dirty talk.

ETA, sorry it was her clitoris not her g-spot.


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## bbird1

beachbabe said:


> Would love some input on why BJ's are so important to you guys?


For most men it is intimate, feels better than normal sex, demonstrates love in some way, and is a fantasy most men have.

But honestly if the partner is only doing it out of a feeling they need to and you can tell they aren't enjoying giving you pleasure it ain't worth it.

Be sure if you give you also receive. If he is not man enough to go down on the muffin then I wouldn't be buffing his helmet if i were you.


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## Runs like Dog

I can still watch TV and you're not talking for a change. 

JK


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## MambaZee

Runs like Dog said:


> I can still watch TV and you're not talking for a change.
> 
> JK


Don't forget the sandwich. You can eat your sandwich at the same time. 

_Really_ glad you put the "JK" there.


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## samyeagar

Runs like Dog said:


> I can still watch TV and you're not talking for a change.
> 
> JK


When my STBW goes at it...TV...what TV?


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## Blacksmith01

I always liked them. the last one that I got turned out to be the best and worse thing for me. I came home one night from my pipe club meeting at 11pm. As I came in the house the wife walked out of the bedroom wearing nothing with an empty wine glass. She pushed me down into a chair at the table and did what she wanted to do. 

A two months later I was compiling the text logs from her affair by day for my lawyer. Turns out she had just got done texting the other man right when I pulled in the drive. That made me feel so special.NOT!


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## Omgitsjoe

Blacksmith01 said:


> I always liked them. the last one that I got turned out to be the best and worse thing for me. I came home one night from my pipe club meeting at 11pm. As I came in the house the wife walked out of the bedroom wearing nothing with an empty wine glass. She pushed me down into a chair at the table and did what she wanted to do.
> 
> A two months later I was compiling the text logs from her affair by day for my lawyer. Turns out she had just got done texting the other man right when I pulled in the drive. That made me feel so special.NOT!


Sorry to hear this blacksmith  Im sure at the time it felt very good but in retrospect it suucks so to speak  !!??


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## solvency7

what a loaded question, and a daft one
because its lush, and im sure somewhere in the mix,theres a level of dominance playing part,
id have one every day,sadly its only on rare occasions which is dissapointing but then when it comes along,its extra special so whatever lol
but i can view it from another angle,if i was a woman i wouldnt be doing it lol


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## that_girl

Yea. It takes a lot for me now to want to do it (when he and I were together.) I felt used and it wasn't mutual so...screw that.


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## hawx20

Women can control their mouth and hands better than their vagina. Plus, looking down and seeing a woman totally concentrating on your penis is the best thing ever


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## treyvion

hawx20 said:


> Women can control their mouth and hands better than their vagina. Plus, looking down and seeing a woman totally concentrating on your penis is the best thing ever



Some women can control the muscular rings in their vagina, even independently.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## samyeagar

treyvion said:


> Some women can control the muscular rings in their vagina, even independently.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm marrying one that can do this


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## MaritimeGuy

I have a hard time with guys who talk about it making them feel more loved by their partner. Sorry but it sounds like someone blowing a bit of smoke to me. It seems to me an attempt to put things in a language women will appreciate and hopefully make them want to do it.

The reality is it feels f'n awesome. 

I wouldn't even consider being with a woman who doesn't do it. To me it would tell me either she was too selfish or too uptight.


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## doubletrouble

It feels great, it's a wonderful expression of selfless love, and it's something I want to return the favor over and over again. It would be nice to get more than a handful a year, however.


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## treyvion

samyeagar said:


> I'm marrying one that can do this


It's like the fingers on a trumpet. Decisive and independant. Nice option, especially if it has a great texture and response.


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## chillymorn

treyvion said:


> Some women can control the muscular rings in their vagina, even independently.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


still not the same a laying back and being sucked dry!!!!!!!!


I'm sure women with that control are great but she still has to suck c*ck or shes out the door.


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## treyvion

chillymorn said:


> still not the same a laying back and being sucked dry!!!!!!!!
> 
> 
> I'm sure women with that control are great but she still has to suck c*ck or shes out the door.


Different options... That's all it is. I can't expect all of them to have this level of control. But their are ones who like you said, suck you dry and it's almost better than sex sometimes better.


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## NewHubs

As others have mentioned on here...ENTHUSIASM!

If she's not into it then don't bother.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## committed_guy

beachbabe said:


> Would love some input on why BJ's are so important to you guys?


because it feels freakin' awesome! No words can describe when a woman is using her mouth on her guy. All the right motions in all the right places. Yes please!


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## Pepper123

For me there is a definite love for the feeling of both power and love; the ability to completely focus on him. When I am giving one, in my mind I like to think about it like I am making love to his c*ck with my mouth... My plump lips wrapped around him, my eyes looking up at him. They run their fingers through your hair, stroke your face. To me it is a connection and feeling like you are taking care of them. That is really important to me. I personally love them, and that is probably why I've had more than one guy tell me I'm the best BJ giver they have ever had.


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## Caribbean Man

treyvion said:


> Some women can control the muscular rings in their vagina, even independently.


Nothing,absolutely nothing could beat the feeling of those muscles working on your member.
That's the " holy grail" of sex , best executed with the woman on top , moving slowly..
Simply amazing.
That move has the ability to " raise the dead" back to life.


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## I Notice The Details

Caribbean Man said:


> Nothing,absolutely nothing could beat the feeling of those muscles working on your member.
> That's the " holy grail" of sex , best executed with the woman on top , moving slowly..
> Simply amazing.
> That move has the ability to " raise the dead" back to life.


Very good description CB....I know that those muscles can milk the "night juice" right out of a man.. 

It is heavenly for sure....get ridden and get milked at the same time. Wow!


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## Holland

Mr H was the happy recipient of an extremely mind blowing BJ last night. The response to it, the loving and kissing I got afterwards was pure bliss for me. Can't put my finger on it but there is a different level of intensity for him from a BJ compared to other forms of sex, especially when it is just a BJ for him (period time) no other sex, it is all about him, his pleasure. Is that the same for other men?


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## I Notice The Details

Holland said:


> Mr H was the happy recipient of an extremely mind blowing BJ last night. The response to it, the loving and kissing I got afterwards was pure bliss for me. Can't put my finger on it but there is a different level of intensity for him from a BJ compared to other forms of sex, especially when it is just a BJ for him (period time) no other sex, it is all about him, his pleasure. Is that the same for other men?


Your husband is a very lucky man!!!!!:smthumbup:


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## WorkingOnMe

I Notice The Details said:


> Your husband is a very lucky man!!!!!:smthumbup:


Agreed. I call period time the week of neglect. Although when it happened when we were in Fiji I did get 1 bj.


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## chillymorn

the gag factor!!!!!


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## NewHubs

WorkingOnMe said:


> Agreed. I call period time the week of neglect. Although when it happened when we were in Fiji I did get 1 bj.


Fiji blowjobs are the best...just sayin'
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Tomara

It's just freakin fun. All the lovey dovey stuff is great but to be honest I like the control factor.


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## cmc

We are at a point where we don't want children so doing oral on each other is a great way to be intimate and not risk getting pregnant. We still do regular sex but I would consider each of us to have high sex drives so normal intercourse sometimes isn't always feasible. Plus he seems so much more cuddly once he orgasms from a BJ.


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## Chumpless

Nothing, and I mean noting, shows a man a woman's desire for him more than an enthusiastic BJ, ideally until completion.

Well, for me anyway.


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## treyvion

I Notice The Details said:


> Very good description CB....I know that those muscles can milk the "night juice" right out of a man..
> 
> It is heavenly for sure....get ridden and get milked at the same time. Wow!


His masculine nectars.


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## Dad&Hubby

So my wife said three awesome things during a bj last night.

At the start as she's tender and lovey. "This is for all you do for us and to show you how much I love and appreciate you."......very nice to hear, not exactly bedroom talk but I'll take it.

In the middle as she's being much more aggressive "God I love your body".......needless to say...huge turn on.

Near the end...."The taste of your pre come is making me horny. My clit is throbbing".......Needless to say this went instantly into me taking care of her.

And yes, she can speak because she mixes up her techniques using only hand sometimes.


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## MarriedTex

These threads make me soooooo jealous. I've gotten a grand total of two since the beginning of 2012. To read about others getting frequent, enthusiastic treatment makes me wonder what I'm doing wrong. 

Not a matter of no reciprocation on my part. I try to go down south weekly. "Too sensitive" for her most of the time. So nada on the oral front, giving or receiving. Overall, money is good, workload light. I'm no Adonis but within 15 lbs. of wedding weight and now have a better BMI than she does. So, it's not a sex-rank/attraction issue either. 

Only myself to blame. We didn't do much oral while dating. No bait and switch here. She just doesn't like it. I didn't think it was all that important back then. PIV sex was good. What else do I need, I thought? Turns out, after doing all I can to fulfill her needs and desires (in bed and out) on a consistent basis for two decades, I'd like to see some tangible proof once in awhile that making me happy is one of her priorities. Few better ways to communicate that than with a good enthusiastic hummer.

So, OP, there's your answer on why these things are SOOOOO important. Ignore at your own peril.


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## Chumpless

tyler1978 said:


> ...I will not go into it but when *I am the receiver...*


I thought that's what the thread was about...okay...:scratchhead:


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## DesertRat1978

Chumpless said:


> I thought that's what the thread was about...okay...:scratchhead:


I will go ahead and delete the post. It is a bit confusing. In short, I have issues that preclude my enjoying a bj.


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## Chumpless

Nothing says I love you more...than a good ol' honk on Bobo?


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## badbane

mineforever said:


> I am a wife but I want to answer this one, hope you don't mind. Giving my big guy a bj is one of my favorite things to do to. It gives me more pleasure than just about anything. It is one of the most sensual things there is. Tasting his essence, feeling his skin on your lips, kissing and s**king him ... all the while keeping eye contact with him. It is one of the most intimate bonding things you can do with your husband.
> 
> There is nothing a wife can do more intimate than this as for her husband. Just my opinion.


.........Okay this is word pornography........


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## Chumpless

Dad&Hubby said:


> So my wife said three awesome things during a bj last night.


F_k me. I married a dud.


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## frusdil

I adore my husband and would f him every day if I could...every day.

I love sucking, licking, rubbing, tugging him...I love his smell, the feel of him...the taste of him...mmmmm....

The only thing I cannot do is have him come in my mouth...it's like catching a mouthful of snot. Sorry boys, but it is.

I take him to completion but he tells me when he's about to come and my hands finish off for me. I just can't take it in the mouth. I wish I could, but I can't.


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## I Notice The Details

frusdil said:


> I adore my husband and would f him every day if I could...every day.
> 
> I love sucking, licking, rubbing, tugging him...I love his smell, the feel of him...the taste of him...mmmmm....


Wow...that is AWESOME to hear from a woman!!!!!!! Reading that makes me very jealous!. Let your husband know how lucky he is to have married you!


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## lovelifeandwanttoenjoyit

frusdil said:


> I adore my husband and would f him every day if I could...every day.
> 
> I love sucking, licking, rubbing, tugging him...I love his smell, the feel of him...the taste of him...mmmmm....
> 
> The only thing I cannot do is have him come in my mouth...it's like catching a mouthful of snot. Sorry boys, but it is.
> 
> I take him to completion but he tells me when he's about to come and my hands finish off for me. I just can't take it in the mouth. I wish I could, but I can't.


WOW this is so nice to hear!!, hello everyone, news member to forum. This is so refreshing, I wish my wife would have said this to me at least once.....I being good to her and our three kids, I volunteer on all sport related activities, help picking the kids up from school, laundry, provide compliments all the time as I really love her and from time to time she seems OK, but in reality most of the time she is complaining about something, playing candy crash or some other game, etc.......any how this post is not about my issues, but I truly wanted to say that your MAN is very lucky.....thank you for your post....


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## here2learn

that_girl said:


> Yea. It takes a lot for me now to want to do it (when he and I were together.) I felt used and it wasn't mutual so...screw that.


Sorry to hear, that_girl. I recall you used to be quite an afficianado of BJs...guess it certainly matters who the recipient is -- if he's not grateful and considerate, can't blame you for not wanting to continue.

I love getting blown by my wife when she's enthusiastic about sucking ****. Which is usually after I've gotten her off and freshly showered. It also helps if I don't hold out more than 10 minutes before cumming. She doesn't like to swallow, but is more than willing to receive my cum in her mouth and continue sucking as I orgasm. Best feeling ever.


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## missthelove2013

lmao
Why is going down on her so important to a woman??

By the way, most men love to do this...


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## beachbabe

I haven't given a response to this thread for awhile, but I have to say this is the most help I've received in any posting. 
I love that you guys stressed that it is a loving act, as apposed to dirty and demeaning! I was very surprised actually. 
I had prepared myself for a night with my husband and I was VERY surprised how turned on I got by giving him h**d. WOW huge surprise there! Too see him soooo turned on, really turned me on too. I felt oddly satisfied after too. 
Anyways, I want to thank you for taking this post seriously, as it was a very big deal for me you get honest advice. 
Oh, and my H thanks you very, very much!!! Our upcoming SEXCATION will be what it should be...


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## Vanguard

Holland said:


> I can't answer from a mans POV being a woman and all. But just wanted to add that even though I cannot understand or feel what he feels I can say with certainty that it is an intense experience for him. After a mind blowing BJ he holds me so tight that I have to ask for air.
> 
> Big difference between a love filled BJ and a BJ just for the sake of it. When it is done with love, desire and enthusiasm the result for the man is a very deep feeling of connectedness. Well it is for my partner anyway


This is a smart woman. 

Girls who ask "Lul y he want suck?" Are going to have a long string of very, very short relationships.


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## anotherguy

beachbabe said:


> Would love some input on why BJ's are so important to you guys?


They aren't. Its just one thing on a fairly expansive menu.

I'd argue that for vast majority of people - thats the way it is. 

If you get the feelling that there is some heightened perception of importance placed on it based on reading these forums... keep in mind there is a pretty high percentage of damaged and disfunctional relationships of all kinds here. Thats just what it is.

Most everyone loves getting (and giving) a little oral - ladies and men both and in a healthy relationship there isnt going to be an undue fixation on this. 'Sooooo important'? Shrug. Just as important as all the rest?

No I'm no going to rank my top 50 favorite things...in order...


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## beachbabe

anotherguy said:


> If you get the feelling that there is some heightened perception of importance placed on it based on reading these forums... keep in mind there is a pretty high percentage of damaged and disfunctional relationships of all kinds here.


Yes I guess you are right~ I am surprised, even with all the mixes of couples (happy, sad, weird, dysfunctional, normal...) the general consensus, it that men interpret a "BJ" mostly with love and affection. This is a HUGE and pleasant surprise to me. I always, thought of it as a controlling, dominate and somewhat of a degrading MALE "thing". (Did have an experience once that would probably dictate that feeling for me)
I should add that my H always treated me well during, but I still, in my head, thought he was controlling ME, when actually, I was controlling HIM...huge twist!

Does it mean that I will be giving my hubby more?? If he doesn't ever cheapen it for me, YES.


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## anotherguy

You are not alone.

My wife had a bad experience early in college. OK... we are all anonymous here so I will call it as I see it... oral rape pretty much. One of those things that just got swept under the rug in her life a year or so before she met me.

Took her years to get over it - and I dont mean 2-3 years. In retrospect.. though oral sex was something we both give and receive gladly - always have... I dont feel like she ever felt really free of that experience for 10 years or so. She had some odd things that were important to her to (I feel) like making sure she felt like she was in control. She needed to be on top. She did not like me putting my hands on her head for example... anywhere else... no problem.

She got past it eventually - but I am very sensitive to her feelings so I can see that it was something that was no trivial matter - and rightfully so. 

Now she actually likes me to pull her hair which is funny to both of us. When she gets really going - she is an absolute joy to watch and she drives me crazy. 

That sort of abuse - and some of the violent, derogatory and abusive 'fantasies' one might see in some porn.. is something that makes physically... very angry at the cowards and pigs that get off on that sort of thing in real life.


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