# husband obsessed with huge breasts



## betrayed32

I posted this topic in another forum but thought i would post it here as well because I would really like a man's point of view on this...The other day my husband accidentally left his phone at home when he went to work. He has done this before and i have never looked through his phone or had the urge to, but for some reason on that particular day something told me to go through his internet history. I honestly didn't really think i would find anything, but in his history i found tens of dozens (if not hundreds) of times he had logged on to various pornography sites and all of them were of women with HUGE breasts. when i say huge, i don't mean like a D cup - i mean these women literally all had breasts the size of my head. And some of the sites were just of women with huge breasts taking off their tops and touching or shaking their breasts,etc. Not even having sex which I could understand if my husband likes to watch random porn of people engaging in sexual activity every once in a while. Who doesn't? But these were mostly a lot of sites of just naked women with enormous breasts, so he was obviously just watching to fantasize about their bodies. I confronted him about it when he got home and after being embarassed and not being able to speak for a while, he said he was so sorry and he didn't know why he did it and he would never do it again. i asked him how long this had been going on and he said since he got his new phone that has internet (which i think has been about a year.) i feel so hurt and like he is not attracted to me, although he says he is happy with my body. I am a 34D, but i feel so insecure now that i have seen what kind of breasts actaully turn him on. I am trying really hard to move on, but i think about this all the time and i don't know how to get over it. I like watching porn too sometimes, but never ever have i done it because i wanted to lust over some other guys body. I just like to see what they do (sex, oral sex, etc) But this was obviously more than that, he was watching to fantasize about huge breasts. I feel traumatized. I would like to hear from men out there who can tell me if this is normal guy behavior, or if i should be worried that he is not attracted to me or wishes i had bigger breasts? I asked him if he wanted me to get breast implants and he said no, but i don't know what to believe..


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## Drover

Why do people, both men & women, get it in their head that their spouse wants them to be like their fantasies the porn they look at?


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## Mistys dad

Ok, this man's view.

You violated his privacy for no good reason. You say that it is the first time, but that is unlikely.

You dressed him down like his mother because you found porn. Although you look at porn, he has to be shamed because his is different than what you watch. You treated him like an insolent child for doing exactly what you do.

You then hide behind words like hurt, insecure, traumatized and betrayed for him doing the same thing you do.

You embarrassed an apology and promise out of him that he will most likely not keep, because coercion doesn't work.

Instead of respecting him in the first place, you chose to find something and make an issue out of it. You went looking to get your feelings hurt and did.

The issue isn't boobs on his cell phone.


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## MrHappy

Three things...

1) Why do I like them big. Because they jiggle. Yum. I like more watching my wife squirm underneath me. If the porn is an addiction and causing a problem in the marriage you might have a leg to stand on. If not BFD!!!

2) To bad he caved to your sh*t test. A lot of men on this board wouldn't have. I would be more worried about his NG tendencies for later in the marriage.

3) What Mistys dad said.


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## Vanton68

Usually those extremely, enormous breasts are attached to enormous women. So if you don't match that description, do you think he wants you to gain weight also? 

Listen you said you are a 34D, plenty big enough for 99% of men. He looked at porn that didn't exactly fit who you are, but that (99% chance) means nothing. If it was gay porn, you might have a reason to question something. 

Also why are you worried about him fantasizing if you don't care if he watches porn in the 1st place?


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## betrayed32

ok, well i asked for brutal honesty and that is what i got. It was a little painful to read some of the posts, but i do thank you all so far for your honesty. to reply to Misty's dad, i was actually on his phone because he had a video on there of my ultrasound (i am 2 1/2 months pregnant with our first) and i was trying to find the video to send it to my mom. i dont know why but i just had that gut feeling to check the history - and honestly, he has left his phone lying around many times and i never have looked through it before. if i had, i would have found out about this a long time ago since he said it's been going on for about a year now. i am not an overly jealous person and we do watch porn together sometimes, but i thought we were both watching it to get excited by what other people were doing, not what they look like. I don't know why that seems more hurtful. it may seem unrational - that's just how i feel. also, to reply to what mr happy said, could you please let me know what NG tendencies means? i'm not very up to date on computer abbreviations. again, i do appreciate the feedback so far, but haven't really gotten an answer to my question - does what he looks at on the internet mean he is lacking attraction for me or wishing i had bigger breasts?


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## MrHappy

You feel like that but men don't. We are very visual and can usually detach a picture from reality. Put a 1970 Mustang Cobra or porn in front of me and tell me to only choose one and I would have to think about it. Add my wife to the mix fully clothed and I would choose my wife without hesitation. Now a marriage with problems might not go that way and you might have to dig for the cause.

NG = nice guy (not dominate). A guy who caves to his wife just to please her and doesn't stand up for himself. NOT a jerk who only cares about himself but someone who is comfortable with who he is. Being a NG causes resentment and WILL destroy a marriage. This doesn't mean not to voice an opinion. I always listen a re-evaluate my values if need be but will not be yelled at a brought into an argument.


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## Trenton

What we look at on the internet and what we actually want in our lives are two very different things. I've stared at the weirdest things on the internet and would never want them to be in my life. Give your husband more boob play and do it with pride...34D is nothing to sneeze at!


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## betrayed32

mr happy, up until i found this out, i was in a "bubble" of thinking we had a near perfect marriage. we dated for 3 years and have now been married for 3 years. we laugh together, have a lot of the same interests, are always loving and respectful of each other, never name call, etc ,etc. i have never turned him down for sex and i dont believe we have ever ever gone longer than a week without sex, but usually we have sex more like every day or at least every other day. I'm slender and haven't gained any weight since we got married and i still try to look nice for him. I always tell him how handsome he is and that i love his body and his "male member". i thought i was doing everything right to make him happy and not want for anything. i want desperately to please him and be his "dream girl" both the person i am on the inside and how he feels about my body. i guess what everyone has said so far is that what he looks at online has nothing to do with what he wants in reality, but if i was online a lot specifically looking up huge penises, then i think my husband would think that is what i wanted. and if the ones i always looked at were much bigger than his, i think he would feel inadequate.


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## *LittleDeer*

You have every right to feel upset, what your husband is looking at is unrealistic for most women and especially for you. I do think porn is harmful to marraiges, and that couples should focus on each other and fantasize about each other. It is doable. 
Moreover I don't think there should be secrets in a marraige.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## captainstormy

As long as it isn't causing any problems in your sex life or anything Id let it go.

I guess some women are different. But many, if not most women I know read those smutty romance novels. My other half does, her friends do, her mom and aunts do, my mother and aunt do also.

Its the same thing, just a fantasy. For guys its visual, for women its mental. Dosent mean anything.

Also, I can honestly say that I'll look at just about any kind of porn. I wouldn't want to actually do most of it. Nor would I want to be with those women.


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## cloudwithleggs

captainstormy said:


> Its the same thing, just a fantasy. For guys its visual, for women its mental. Dosent mean anything.


why does this myth that women are not visual still exist, is it born of unattractive men to make them selves feel better.

i would say it is mental and visual for both sexes.


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## visitor2

cloudwithleggs said:


> why does this myth that women are not visual still exist, is it born of unattractive men to make them selves feel better.
> 
> i would say it is mental and visual for both sexes.


Not sure that men are very mental. I find it very hard to fantasize or use stories. It's overwhelming visual.


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## geek down

I am a boob guy.. I love them.. I love them big too.. 34D is probably just the exact size that i would go nuts over. That to 42DD...You are so lucky to have those and most girls I know would do anything for a real chest like that. If he is cheating or addicted to porn thats one thing.. But if he is a boob guy and you have those, then you shouldn't be worried. 

You did violate his trust and privacy, but I'm sure an apology would fix that. If he is a big boob man and you are graced with what you have, then flaunt it. Instead of him looking at porn and on a site with just jigglin boobies, why not send him a video of your jugs a-jiggling? I'm not sure if your comfortable with that, but if it was me, and I got a text with that.. OH BOY!! you'd be in for some fun when I get home!!

if you are ok with sending pics of yourself or video to him, then do it. Tease him with a low cut shot. don't have to be topless or showing anything.. then when he comes home meet him at the door topless...ask him if he would like to say hello to the girls..

I speak for myself of course, but men LOVE these games when it involved the woman in their life. Again, not sure if your comfortable with sending that kinda stuff, but tease him..ask him if he's heard what happened in the rocky mountains today.. when he texts you back that he did.. send him a pick of your chest and tell him they have relocated to his living room..

I'm sure I'll get some flak from a few ladies here, but I'm just being an honest boob addicted guy. 

34d...honestly..he's a lucky man and you are a lucky girl.


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## MarriedWifeInLove

betrayed32 said:


> mr happy, up until i found this out, i was in a "bubble" of thinking we had a near perfect marriage. we dated for 3 years and have now been married for 3 years. we laugh together, have a lot of the same interests, are always loving and respectful of each other, never name call, etc ,etc. i have never turned him down for sex and i dont believe we have ever ever gone longer than a week without sex, but usually we have sex more like every day or at least every other day. I'm slender and haven't gained any weight since we got married and i still try to look nice for him. I always tell him how handsome he is and that i love his body and his "male member". i thought i was doing everything right to make him happy and not want for anything. i want desperately to please him and be his "dream girl" both the person i am on the inside and how he feels about my body. i guess what everyone has said so far is that what he looks at online has nothing to do with what he wants in reality, but if i was online a lot specifically looking up huge penises, then i think my husband would think that is what i wanted. and if the ones i always looked at were much bigger than his, i think he would feel inadequate.


I'm going to put my two cents in, for whatever they are worth.

You mention that you wanted to be his "dream girl." Do you really think that when you got married, that he would never look at another woman, fantasize about another woman and have eyes for YOU only for the rest of his life.

That's a tad bit naive. He married you, not because of your breasts, but because you attracted him in many ways, I'm sure. Your personality, he had fun with you, you made him laugh, you excited him, he enjoyed having sex with you--could be all of those or a number of different things. But just because he likes huge breasts doesn't mean he doesn't like yours or you.

I'll give you an example--my husband is like yours--a huge breast man. Huge--loves them, always has--says he's loved them since he was a teenager. Now, his first wife--flat as a board. Said he didn't marry her for her breasts, he loved her even if she didn't have any. But--he still looked at huge breasted women and still bought big breast magazines (before the internet of course).

Now me, I have huge breasts--but guess what--he still looks at huge breasts on the internet, even though there's a large pair that lay in bed next to him every night. 

So I think you're making more of it than it is/was. If you both weren't having sex and you weren't intimate--then, I would say you need to worry. But give the guy a break--take it from me, once he thinks you are snooping on him, he will start not to trust you and will move it underground--this comes from personal experience.

From my own perspective, I made a bigger deal about porn than it needed to be, simply because I felt insecure. Don't get caught in the same trap--it will drive you crazy.

Good luck.


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## MindOverMatter

I stopped reading when you said "I am 34D"...... 

I'm not into huge boobs like your husband apparently is, but 34D is damn near perfection for me. My wife is 36C -- a fairly solid C, but definitely not a D. So, congrats on your physical attributes.

Now, as far as your husband is concerned -- I'd be more concerned if he had pictures of naked men on his phone. Sure, these women apparently were better endowed than you, but I think that means virtually nothing. If these were porn stars instead of amateurs, they were likely fake breasts anyway. 

Have confidence in your physical gifts......and just move on. There is a time and a place for dwelling, but this seems like neither.


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## JenniferMarried36

I hear what you are saying. 

I am a 36C, not big by any means but not flat either.

My husband oggles any large breasts that he sees, on tv, when we go out, and even at church.

I even caught him looking down my mothers top once.

He's offered to get breast implants as a gift for me but I declined since if I was to get them, it's for me not him!!

Men, can't live with them or without them.


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## quietnight112

OK. here's my 2cents (man).

First of all, like your H, i'm also a big boob man, in that I prefer big over small. However, I'm not into huge boobs on "healthy" ladies. But, I'm married to a very small boob lady, I think A. But that doesn't mean I love other women over my wife. I love her and we have great sex. I don't desire other women because of big boobs, but I do fantasize about them. But I will ALWAYS choose my wife over any woman. Does that make me a bad person? 

I also believe that there should be 100% transparency in marriage. However, the way you went about it was wrong. Just apologize and offer to open up all your stuff to him for his perusal as well. And share with him that you feel you have the right to see 100% of his stuff (email, fb, phone, etc.). However, if there's no proof of lies, ask him first. If you think he's cheating or something suspicious then go ahead and do it without asking him. But usually you'll want to ask him before looking. But I agree that you have 100% right to ask him to see whatever. You cannot expect privacy from your spouses, or you should be single. You are one, so as they say.

Regarding your behavior, you are being childish. Dont be passive aggressive. Share with him that you were hurt, but that you don't judge him and it's ok with him to have fantasies. Just that you expect his fantasies to stay fantasy. Acknowledge his uniqueness and embrace him. Share some of your fantasies. DO NOT LECTURE HIM. He's a grown man. Treat him as such. And maybe ask for forgiveness on ways you might've handled this situation wrong. While at it, share some of the things he can improve on so that you'll feel more sexy.

We men, are not brought up to understand women. We are all learning along the way. But some of us will grow up later than others. Encourage him to over come his childish behaviors too through education and self discovery. Not through condemnation and stern correction.


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## visitor2

To the OP, research shows that 98% of men and 80% of women fantasize about other people. For women its mental and in romance and erotica books. For men, its entirely visual. So its totally normal behavior. 

So, Who Are You Thinking Of Right Now? | News Archive | Seattle News, Weather, Sports, Breaking News | KOMO News

You are getting upset because you are imagining something that is not happening. He isn't more attracted to these women than you and isn't comparing them to you. Men simply like to look at variety. It doesn't imply "better" just different. Maybe women think differently than men on this, and compare. I don;t know. But men don't compare. They like chocolate, they like vanilla, they like strawberry. They like them all. My guess is your husband has ZERO problem with your body.

Secondly porn is a little like cartoons. It's grossly exaggerated. The men's members are enormous and so are the women's breasts. In real life, it would all be too large. People actually like fairly normal people. And 34D is huge in real life, whatever the porn world says. Average breast size is somewhere in the Bs. You are quite large and your husband knows it. Obviously he has a breast fetish, so probably a very happy man.


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## __anon__

To the OP - I specifically joined the message board to reply to your situation and will probably never post here again. I can speak directly to your situation, because I think I'm like your husband in some ways.

I'm 32, happily married and with 4 kids. My wife is beautiful and I love her. Her breasts were probably 36B before the kids and are 36D now. I love large breasts, and I'm happy that my wife's grew because of pregnancy and breast-feeding, but if they never grew, or if they shrank back down after she weans (which they probably will) I will still love her and sex will still be great.

But here's the thing - I'm addicted to pornography as well, and I think I'm in the same niche as your husband. I'm not interested in watching people having sex, but if I watch porn it is ALWAYS for the large, huge, or unbelievably sized breasts. Porn, or cartoons, or Japanese Anime that specializes in massive breasts is a real turn on for me. I recognize that I'm abnormal, although there is more material on this out there than you might realize. I also don't have any idea why disproportionately large breasts fascinate me so much. There are equal parts attraction, repulsion, and morbid curiosity. I've tried to understand it myself for more than 10 years.

The important thing to remember is that the use of pornography, especially this type, is usually not connected to reality. I don't want to make any blanket statements (especially since I don't think porn use of any kind is healthy) but when I watch and "use" this huge-breasted porn it in no way competes with or replaces my wife. Given the choice between the supposed perfection of these uniquely shaped women and my wife, with her normal sized and very real breasts, I will take my wife every time. I'm attracted to her, but another part of me is also attracted to the impossibility of these women.

Other people have mentioned open communication and transparency, and I agree with that. It's hard, and it will hurt (both of you, believe it or not) to talk about this. Don't just confront him, but tell him how it makes you feel and try to be open minded about it. He's going to clam up if you are aggressive or angry, and you'll be left wondering about it. After you've discussed it you can figure out what you'll do - will he stop? Do you want him to? Are you okay with his bizarre niche now that you know he still loves you and finds you sexy?

If you both decide he'll give it up, know that it will take a long time to fight the addiction, and he will backslide often. Be patient.

Also don't bother him about it, unless you both agree that that's part of the plan. My wife knows exactly what I struggle with, knows that it's an ongoing battle for me, and knows that I probably still view this weird type of porn. She helps me where she can and she doesn't pressure me.

You know you shouldn't have "snooped" on the phone. That's a violation of privacy, but you know that. Don't beat yourself up about it. Resolve not to do it again and apologize to him if you haven't already. But further to that, ask what kind of poking around he's okay with. If you're going for transparency in the marriage, maybe he should let you browse his history, as you agree before hand and he knows what to expect.


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## northernlights

Ok, I'm a woman but I have to respond because I've been to some of those websites before too. 
They're just so crazy big, it's hard not to look! I mean, I had NO IDEA boobs could get that big. And, I dunno, it's just fun to look. I'm totally straight so it's absolutely not a sexual thing for me.

Maybe it's similar for your husband? Also, if he is turned on by them, just tell him you'll breastfeed your baby. That turned my 32 As to 34 Ds. Yours are going to get _enormous_. Maybe it'll end up being really fun for you both!


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## dubbizle

In most cases it just because the person is curious for awhile but after you get your fill it become less intresting.
I have dated women with all sizes of breast and one had large breast which was something at first, but after awhile that just curiosity wore off and it became about the person,which I would think is the same for a woman and her partner with a large penis.


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## bfree

betrayed32 said:


> mr happy, up until i found this out, i was in a "bubble" of thinking we had a near perfect marriage. we dated for 3 years and have now been married for 3 years. we laugh together, have a lot of the same interests, are always loving and respectful of each other, never name call, etc ,etc. i have never turned him down for sex and i dont believe we have ever ever gone longer than a week without sex, but usually we have sex more like every day or at least every other day. I'm slender and haven't gained any weight since we got married and i still try to look nice for him. I always tell him how handsome he is and that i love his body and his "male member". i thought i was doing everything right to make him happy and not want for anything. i want desperately to please him and be his "dream girl" both the person i am on the inside and how he feels about my body. i guess what everyone has said so far is that what he looks at online has nothing to do with what he wants in reality, but if i was online a lot specifically looking up huge penises, then i think my husband would think that is what i wanted. and if the ones i always looked at were much bigger than his, i think he would feel inadequate.


So then why are you upset? Obviously he is very much into you. You _had_ (notice I said had because this situation WILL have repercussions) a great relationship. But you chose to dress him down rather than just simply ask him about it. If I watch a vampire movie does that mean I want my wife to be one? I just don't understand why you needed to go nuclear on him. Maybe he isn't obsessed with huge breasts. Maybe he found them oddly fascinating and instinctively knew you would react the exact way you did. So he looked at it on his phone.


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## Jeapordy

betrayed32 said:


> mr happy, up until i found this out, i was in a "bubble" of thinking we had a near perfect marriage. i want desperately to please him and be his "dream girl" both the person i am on the inside and how he feels about my body.


You probably tell him and your friends how great your marriage is. You probably compare your marriage to the marriages of people around you and tell your husband how lucky the two of you are. You want to be his "dream girl", but that is a standard he can never meet. I'm sure he loves you and he wants to be with you forever. But if you put your marriage and your husband on such a high pedestal, then he sees nowhere to go but down. He can't live up to your standards so he can't be honest with you. So his "nice guy" tendency will tell him that it is better to let you live in your bubble than to be honest with you. 
He likes pictures of big boobs. So what? I bet you think about things that you don't tell him about. Is there a hot movie star that gets you excited? Men are visual, so thinking about Angelina Jolie doesn't do it for me. I'd rather see pictures of naked women (no matter who they are). 
I can't tell my wife that because then I'm not living up to her standards, which are also impossibly high.
So get out of your bubble and accept that your man as the same biological urges as most other men. Give him a little lattitude and understanding, and maybe he can be honest with you on things he likes. 
What if you took the initiative to find porn that involved large breasted women and you watched it together. He would probably love that, since you are taking an interest in his fantasies without judgement and you are telling him that he is not weird.


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## Relic

Hopefully all the guys' advice here has helped you realize this is not a big deal. If anything the porn he chooses to search for conforms to the type of woman you are. I think you're lucky. 

Please tell your husband you have thought about it, and it's no big deal to you anymore.

You're 2 1/2 months pregnant. Your boobs are about to start looking like the ones in those porn videos. 

Make a joke and tell him his gigantic boob fantasies are about to come true in the coming months and he'll have to compete with Junior when we wants to play with them.

Seriously though, this isn't really a big deal. Even if he was looking at porn that you didn't reflect who you are (ie asian porn, anal porn, gangbangs, etc.), I still wouldn't freak out about it.

You've got a good guy from the sounds of it.


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## unbelievable

We like boobs because we're guys. Dogs walk around in circles before laying down because they're dogs. Don't ask why. We didn't create the world. We just ride on it.


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## Jake56

His fetish as it seems to be does by no means mean that he does not find you attractive. He married you after all right? Joking aside it might be just something that he likes to look at, but that doesn't make it the only thing that attracts him. Basically what I am trying to say is boobs are not the most important thing, so dont view it as that.


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## Shoshannah

I don't think ultra, supersized breasts were "in" until recently. Since Celebrities and the media have influenced girls to have bigger and bigger breasts, people just naturally follow right along and begin to think that's what they like, too. I have known several very large busted women who had breast reductions (and were of normal weight) because they were tired of backaches and huge bras. On the oher hand, women are getting larger and larger boob jobs to just follow right along with what everyone seems to want, unhealthy or not. If thats what some men think they like, natural or not, there's not much you can do about it. I am a 5'8 and a 36C . My husband would be absolutely furious if traded in my pair for a couple of fake ones.


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## livnlearn

cloudwithleggs said:


> why does this myth that women are not visual still exist, is it born of unattractive men to make them selves feel better.


YESSS...I believe it is. It also allows them to believe that their SO isn't bothered by their large bellies and sagging nipples. 

as for the topic at hand..I am sort of on the fence. In one way it seems sort of harmless, however it makes his wife insecure so it really ISN'T harmless. I also agree with the poster who said many guys would feel insecure if their wife was constantly looking at pics. of enormous penis'.


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## Acoa

Big, small or just right, I like all breasts. My wife has large ones. When I surf porn, I like to see smaller boobies. Just a preference in porn. I would not want my wife to have smaller ones. 

Fantasy is all about what you don't have, and porn should be about exploring fantasy.


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## Goldmember357

well i could understand your pain 

IF

you did not look at porn but you do so does it not make you a little hypocritical? 

how far does his obsession really go if it is even that?


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## hookares

It means nothing unless your husband is acting out his obsession by seeing larger endowed women on the side.
My ex wife liked "larger " guys and acted on it at every opportunity while I was at work.
That's why she's now on her own.


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## TiggyBlue

I only really watch porn that has hot guys with huge members (average size in porn does NOTHING for me), it's mostly a fantasy and part fascination but reality I know I wouldn't want to have sex with that huge of a member because it would hurt.
I find with porn where im not getting the smells/touches ect the porn I watch seems to be somewhat exaggerated.
Unless he ogles at other women alot when your out with him or comment's negatively to your body I would really just put it down to a visual fantasy to get of quickly to not something your being compared with.


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## Therealbrighteyes

livnlearn said:


> YESSS...I believe it is. It also allows them to believe that their SO isn't bothered by their large bellies and sagging nipples.
> 
> as for the topic at hand..I am sort of on the fence. In one way it seems sort of harmless, however it makes his wife insecure so it really ISN'T harmless. I also agree with the poster who said many guys would feel insecure if their wife was constantly looking at pics. of enormous penis'.


 It isn't harmless if it hurts the partner. Saying all guys do it/are visual just is patronizing as all get out. I've never met a woman who isn't visual but we manage to respect our spouse enough to not have naked photos of better looking guys laying around. It is disrespectful, hurtful and rude.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Vaya Con Dios

JenniferMarried36 said:


> I hear what you are saying.
> 
> I am a 36C, not big by any means but not flat either.
> 
> My husband oggles any large breasts that he sees, on tv, when we go out, and even at church.
> 
> I even caught him looking down my mothers top once.
> 
> He's offered to get breast implants as a gift for me but I declined since if I was to get them, it's for me not him!!
> 
> Men, can't live with them or without them.


Just had to laugh out load at your comment about your hubby n your mom......
:rofl:


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## Caribbean Man

Oh well,
I once had that big boobs fetish.
All the other women I dated before my wife had big ,full breasts.

But my wife " cured" my fetish. Her breast are medium sized,firm, perky and very sensitive.
I can't seem to keep my hands off of them,
I am now addicted to them.


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## DeeDee911

Coming to the conversation late, as I just found this forum. I am 50+ and married for 12 years. I had breast augmentation just before we got married, and I'm sorry I did it. I was a 34C prior and now a 36DD.

My husband is more than obsessed with boobs. The bigger the better to the point of grotesque. He has an extensive library on his computer of lesbian porn sights, as well as file folders with pictures of boobs and women. Apparently, he has been doing this since before we got married. His previous wife also had breast augmentation. He paid for hers and mine.

His obsession is ruining our marriage. All he talks about are "his buddies". When I cook dinner, I have to wear tight, low cut tops. He buys used clothes for me on Ebay - all trashy, and expects me to wear them around the house and sometimes in public.

I'm tired of being groped all the time. Never just a hug. He will come up behind me and "hump" me even in public. He never calls me honey or babe, and there are times when he's down-right nasty to me. Telling me I don't know "sh_t".

I've gotten to the point that I hate my breasts.

He's admitted to be obsessed with them and that he has a problem. He's been to therapy - apparently it didn't help. I'm beyond unhappy.


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## 6301

34D. That isn't small. I do have a question though. 

Would you feel the same if he was looking at nude photos of women with small boobs?


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## Faithful Wife

That's sad DeeDee. My H is obsessed with biggun's too, including mine...and he also is quite sexual...but it isn't "all he talks about" and he doesn't have anything that seems like a problem, to me. He is just extremely sexual (and loves the rest of me, too, not just the girls).

You probably won't get much help here with your one post, I would say you need more help than what is here.


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## treyvion

Many people in this country have problems, your husband included. I don't think you will convince him he has a problem. I would tie his problem to "porn" and "extremely large breasted images". He's objectified you enough, are you even a human to him?

It sounds like a really bad situation, that you need outside help for. He won't think he needs help and that until is suffering and and in pain, your going to have to shut him off sexually and visually and possibly leave him for him to get the point.

And still yet, he may not change. It's not fair to yourself to put up with it any longer.


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## john1068

betrayed32 said:


> I would like to hear from men out there who can tell me if this is normal guy behavior, or if i should be worried that he is not attracted to me or wishes i had bigger breasts? I asked him if he wanted me to get breast implants and he said no, but i don't know what to believe..


The sites exist for a reason...there's a market for it...a big market. It's one of many genres of porn. It's not my thing, though, I've got other "things" that get me going. Yeh, it's quite normal guy behavior. Our fixation with breasts start at birth and never, ever, ever goes away. RE the implants, while I like breasts in general, gravitating toward the handful or larger, fake breasts are a turn OFF for me. I like all natural everything. So he may be telling the truth about that.


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## JCD

Therealbrighteyes said:


> It isn't harmless if it hurts the partner. Saying all guys do it/are visual just is patronizing as all get out. I've never met a woman who isn't visual but we manage to respect our spouse enough to not have naked photos of better looking guys laying around. It is disrespectful, hurtful and rude.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


What an interesting description. "Lying around". You mean...on a personal phone, in a web browser...in the history. Yup, OPENLY displayed for everyone. Like glossies all over the kitchen table. 

This is a mischaracterization. Instead, it was as if she went to his desk, and sifted through his files and found in the 'Landscaping' File, a copy of 'Big-Uns.'

'Disrespectful, hurtful and rude'. I like that one too. It would be as you say if he openly displayed these things...but he didn't. It would be so if he compared his wife to these women. He didn't do that. It would be the case if he forced his wife to watch her personal porn collection. He didn't do THAT.

ALONE, QUIETLY, and PRIVATELY, he looked at a few dirty pictures without his wife's knowledge.

So the 'disrespectful, hurt and rude' is a matter of him looking at ANY porn and HER reaction to this. 'There is no offense if none is taken'.

This relates very closely to a perennial topic on TAM: Men are supposed to 'get over' a woman's past. She could have been doing trapeze acts of sex with multiple men...and it's her own darned business! Unless the OP was a virgin, she's had men whom her husband 'has to compete with' in the bedroom. He might even have had to suck up meeting them socially.

Additionally, a man is supposed to 'accept' a woman has to socially and alone interact with other men, on Girls Nights Out, for example. He needs to 'be a man' and not be insecure or untrusting.

According to the majority of women on TAM, he is supposed to just 'get over it'. She is with him, that's all he needs to know.

Well, turnabout is fair play, ladies. He isn't even MEETING these women. These women are NO competition for the wife. They are pixels!

And yet she is allowed to be hurt and take her husband to task for having a fantasy, but the man is not allowed to ask about her reality or be hurt at anything that REALLY HAPPENED TO HER.

So...be hurt, madam. But every thing you would say to your husband about your past's privacy and how YOU CHOSE HIM, and nothing else matters equally applies to his porn viewing.

You have a good marriage. He is acting like he is attracted to you. He has sex with you more frequently than average for married couples.

And this is a problem? Well...you are making one.


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## Placeboni

Caribbean Man said:


> Oh well,
> I once had that big boobs fetish.
> All the other women I dated before my wife had big ,full breasts.
> 
> But my wife " cured" my fetish. Her breast are medium sized,firm, perky and very sensitive.
> I can't seem to keep my hands off of them,
> I am now addicted to them.



Hmm, I wish I'd cured my partner of his fetish. He seems to be obsessed with my small and perkies, but it certainly hasn't stopped him oggling huge G+ sized women :scratchhead:


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## WhiteRaven

betrayed32 said:


> I am a 34D


34D is boob enough.....
.
.
At least for me.


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## Shoto1984

OP I haven't read anything that tells me you don't have a great marriage. Don't let your insecurities change that. So now you know your man like large breasts. Great. He's told you he likes yours just the way they are. Great. Lighten up and maybe tell him you over reacted. Maybe use the new found knowledge to spice things up a bit in some future private time. Love your man.


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## Caribbean Man

Placeboni said:


> Hmm, I wish I'd cured my partner of his fetish. He seems to be obsessed with my small and perkies, but it certainly hasn't stopped him oggling huge G+ sized women :scratchhead:


And my guess is that him ogling " G+ sized women " makes you feel insecure?

Why not tell him?


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## GusPolinski

Placeboni said:


> Hmm, I wish I'd cured my partner of his fetish. He seems to be obsessed with my small and perkies, but it certainly hasn't stopped him oggling huge G+ sized women :scratchhead:


It could be that he's like pretty much every other heterosexual male that ever lived and is just obsessed with breasts, period.


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## EleGirl

captainstormy said:


> As long as it isn't causing any problems in your sex life or anything Id let it go.
> 
> I guess some women are different. But many, if not most women I know read those smutty romance novels. My other half does, her friends do, her mom and aunts do, my mother and aunt do also.
> 
> Its the same thing, just a fantasy. For guys its visual, for women its mental. Dosent mean anything.
> 
> Also, I can honestly say that I'll look at just about any kind of porn. I wouldn't want to actually do most of it. Nor would I want to be with those women.


According to the publishing industry statistics... only 25% of women read smutty romance novels. I don't, don't know many women who do.

Most men... about 99% watch/use porn.

Cannot compare the usage rates.. nope


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## CuddleBug

betrayed32 said:


> I posted this topic in another forum but thought i would post it here as well because I would really like a man's point of view on this...The other day my husband accidentally left his phone at home when he went to work. He has done this before and i have never looked through his phone or had the urge to, but for some reason on that particular day something told me to go through his internet history. I honestly didn't really think i would find anything, but in his history i found tens of dozens (if not hundreds) of times he had logged on to various pornography sites and all of them were of women with HUGE breasts. when i say huge, i don't mean like a D cup - i mean these women literally all had breasts the size of my head. And some of the sites were just of women with huge breasts taking off their tops and touching or shaking their breasts,etc. Not even having sex which I could understand if my husband likes to watch random porn of people engaging in sexual activity every once in a while. Who doesn't? But these were mostly a lot of sites of just naked women with enormous breasts, so he was obviously just watching to fantasize about their bodies. I confronted him about it when he got home and after being embarassed and not being able to speak for a while, he said he was so sorry and he didn't know why he did it and he would never do it again. i asked him how long this had been going on and he said since he got his new phone that has internet (which i think has been about a year.) i feel so hurt and like he is not attracted to me, although he says he is happy with my body. I am a 34D, but i feel so insecure now that i have seen what kind of breasts actaully turn him on. I am trying really hard to move on, but i think about this all the time and i don't know how to get over it. I like watching porn too sometimes, but never ever have i done it because i wanted to lust over some other guys body. I just like to see what they do (sex, oral sex, etc) But this was obviously more than that, he was watching to fantasize about huge breasts. I feel traumatized. I would like to hear from men out there who can tell me if this is normal guy behavior, or if i should be worried that he is not attracted to me or wishes i had bigger breasts? I asked him if he wanted me to get breast implants and he said no, but i don't know what to believe..



I wouldn't of gone through his cell's history.

I have never gone through my wife's cell's history in 15 years of being together.

Most guys have much higher sex drives compared to the ladies. We are visually stimulated. The hotter the woman, the more we look and fantasize. Many guys do view porn, not to hurt the ladies we are with, but because we aren't getting our needs met. No adventurous, fantasy sex. No enough sex. No dirty talking, no cosplay, not too much, just vanilla for the most part.

Instead of getting upset he is looking at porn, why not find out why he is looking at porn? Do you have a great sex life? Enough sex? He never wants more? Vanilla or adventurous sex?

Myself, I like the entire body of a woman. I think women are the greatest thing ever. I like her face, eyes, lashes, smile, hairstyles, mid section, breasts, bum, legs, thighs, calves, feet, hands, etc. Sexy is sexy.

You shouldn't be upset at all. This is his fantasy. If you had a fantasy about guys with 10+ inch long members, your history is full of this and one day, hubbs finds out you love huge c*cks and he is only average, maybe 6 inches, would he feel horrible, inadequate and upset?

I'm just saying, we all have fantasies. It's healthy and normal. Don't worry about it.

Give him surprise insane oiled breast jobs and see if he likes....:smthumbup:


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## EnjoliWoman

ZOMBIE THREAD, y'all.


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## DoF

"Some people can't live without a problem, if there isn't one, they create it"


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