# Moving back into the family home.....



## Dedicated2Her (Nov 13, 2010)

I just moved back into the family home (my home) after being gone for 1.5 years. I thought it would be a strange situation full of old memories and past wounds. 

However, it wasn't. I found that standing in my living room a certain peace. There wasn't any strife, no expectations from someone else, no judgements, and just an all around feeling of "it's good to be home." 

I have wondered lately if I was completely healed from the long, drawn out debacle that was being married to someone who couldn't carry their side of a relationship. I believe I have. I unpacked my kitchen among other things, and the place has a feeling of just like my apartment. True, there is lots of work to be done (my ex didn't exactly take care of the place), but it represents something greater. I have come full circle. It is almost three years ago that I got hit with the "I'm detached" speech. I couldn't be more thankful for that speech. The journey for me was full of crazy times, but I always kept pushing forward working on myself and learning. 

My gf walked into the house, smiled, grabbed a few things and said, "Let me help you." I don't think I heard those words for years in that home. Here is to new beginnings. D2H---upgraded, happy, and full of life.

And to the person who said I couldn't do what I am doing--(lose 50 lbs, get promoted at work, learn how to salsa dance, pick up a guitar, become an awesome dad)---how do you like me now?


----------



## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Dedicated2Her said:


> I just moved back into the family home (my home) after being gone for 1.5 years. I thought it would be a strange situation full of old memories and past wounds.
> 
> However, it wasn't. I found that standing in my living room a certain peace. There wasn't any strife, no expectations from someone else, no judgements, and just an all around feeling of "it's good to be home."
> 
> ...


Congrats brother.


----------



## Mrlonelyhearts (Apr 12, 2012)

Very nice. Thanks for sharing how your life has changed for the better.


----------



## Dedicated2Her (Nov 13, 2010)

Conrad said:


> Congrats brother.


Thanks, Conrad. I definitely came out with much more hope and excitement for the future than if I would have stayed married. I found myself. The edge, the competitiveness, the high energy athlete is back. Mind, body, and soul have never been this healthy....ever.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Congrats I think I remember bits and pieces of your story.

You have for sure come a long way since you were "dedicated to her".


----------



## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

Dude your post has me beaming. Congrats to you and I love your new lease on life. Losing weight, learning new things, being an awesome dad, those are all major achievements. Way to turn a negative into a positive.

It also comes at a good time for me, I'll be returning to my old marital home soon and was anxious about the experience.


----------



## Dedicated2Her (Nov 13, 2010)

> Congrats I think I remember bits and pieces of your story.
> 
> You have for sure come a long way since you were "dedicated to her".


Ha! Thanks. I remember Conrad saying, "Time to change your moniker." But, I think it is a testament to truly showing how much progression that you are capable of as a person. Life is so much more fun now than it ever was in 13 years with her. I outgrew her emotionally a long time ago. This process was a testament to that.


----------



## Dedicated2Her (Nov 13, 2010)

> It also comes at a good time for me, I'll be returning to my old marital home soon and was anxious about the experience.


I will say this. I was very tired yesterday. It has been an emotional experience even though it wasn't so "in my face" evident. BUT, it is awesome to start making the house like YOU want it. It is no longer her input that is most important, but mine. 

Truth is, I was an enabler, codependent, really "nice guy". I shudder at who I was. lol


----------



## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

Dedicated2Her said:


> I will say this. I was very tired yesterday. It has been an emotional experience even though it wasn't so "in my face" evident. BUT, it is awesome to start making the house like YOU want it. It is no longer her input that is most important, but mine.
> 
> Truth is, I was an enabler, codependent, really "nice guy". I shudder at who I was. lol


Not too many 'alpha males' on a board for marriage advice. I think most of us here have or had nice guy tendencies.

I was a total toolbox until I started coming here regularly and reading about "manning up"


----------



## Stretch (Dec 12, 2012)

Hell yah!

Spurts of happiness and joy are better than a B12 shot!

Enjoy every sweet minute of it D2Her.


----------



## Dedicated2Her (Nov 13, 2010)

Stretch said:


> Hell yah!
> 
> Spurts of happiness and joy are better than a B12 shot!
> 
> Enjoy every sweet minute of it D2Her.


Heck yeah. I got personal records on all my one rep maxes this week on the weights. Feeling very good!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------

