# BIL just hit me up for naked pics :(



## RideofmyLife (Dec 18, 2015)

So, this guy is married and is the brother of my sister-in-law. I got a text asking what time it was here in Idaho last night, 
which I thought was bizarre, but I answered and left it alone and then I see a text from him this morning 
saying that I was up late. I'm like Yeah, so?

Then he says he's contacted me for his own perverse reasons and I say "Okaay?"
He says, "Just delete this so you're safe on your end and please don't say anything
to "****" and "Jane" (Brother and sis-in-law) and I'll leave you alone. 

I say I haven't done anything wrong so no need to delete anything. 

He says, "Yet"

He says, "I heard something that intrigued me and I have seen your tits a long time ago. I was 
wondering what they look like now and your little ***** as well. You may still back away"

I say, "I don't know where you would have seen them. But I'm definitely not interested. You're
starting down a dangerous road. You should talk to your wife and let her know you're unhappy
and try to work on your marriage instead of starting something with someone else. 

He says, "LOL, when you and (ex-boyfriend) were dating you took your top off in the pool. 
Anyhow, no worries, my wife knows who I am very well."

I say, "If you have an open marriage, then that's all well and good but I'm still not interested. 

He says that "****" and "Jane" don't know about the open marriage. I tell him I heard 
about it from them. (I should have shut it down here or much earlier.)

He says, "Just heard you like to "insert sexual thing" and wondered how open you were. And that you
never had an issue with playing. Point is taken ma'am. So I'll shh and back away."

I said, pretty much every woman on the planet likes to "insert sexual thing", doesn't make me
special. Bye Sherlock.

And then I said "Obviously you have some information I'm not comfortable with you having. 
No hard feelings. And then I blocked him on face book. 

My plan is to let my husband know tonight and then to call his wife in a few days to make sure
their marriage is still open. I had heard from my sister-in-law that it was closed, but this
was a few years ago. Maybe it never actually closed. Who knows? 

He obviously doesn't want my sister-in-law to know that her brother is hitting up her former
best friend. I'm not sure if I should tell her or not. They were aware that he and his wife 
were open at one point. And I shut him down and don't plan to ever see or speak to him again. The
last time I saw him must have been when I was a teenager. As I said, his sister and I were 
best friends. I can't imagine I actually took my top off when he was around. I could see me
maybe having done it on a dare back then, but with him around? I did used to have a crush on
the guy, but now "EWW!!"

So, thoughts? I even thought briefly of not telling my husband. I mean, I shut him down and
was pretty proud of how I handled it. But after coming from this: 

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/genera...icking-up-pieces-after-om-suicide-threat.html

I feel it's important that my husband and I are open and honest, even about stuff like this that may pop up once in awhile.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

He was clearly way out of line. 

Was it clear it was him - not a hack? Did he know things only he would have known? (probably yes, just checking).

Assuming it was him, he is a complete creep. Its up to you who you tell. Just think about what results you are hoping for from telling.


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## xxxSHxYZxxx (Apr 1, 2013)

I'd tell him. It'll make him feel good that you told him even though he's not going to be happy that some dude hit on his wife. 

Definitely tell that jack offs wife. If they're open then oh well if not then he made his own bed

Sent from my SM-G928T using Tapatalk


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

What a CREEP. It makes me want to have a shower after reading that. Icky icky icky.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Creep. Tell everyone. That will ensure that he leaves you alone. And it might make him think about it more before hitting up other unsuspecting women. (Or maybe not.. creeps often do not get it.)


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Tell everyone, IMO.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Why would you want to hide this from peopl that should matter to you?


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

Disgusting and next time do not feed the beast. This alone should have been the end of the conversation:


> "I heard something that intrigued me and I have seen your tits a long time ago. I was
> wondering what they look like now and your little ***** as well.


Nope, doesn't matter if it is family or not. This is enough to tell your husband and have a discussion on what to do.


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

Do whatever you feel you should, but that conversation went on way too long. You should have blocked him after his third message. Maybe after the first. No good can come from engaging a scumbag.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> *Tell everyone, IMO.*


* @RideofmyLife ~ More especially "out him" to both your husband, as well as to the pervert's wife! They have every right to know exactly what's going on!

There is absolutely no excuse for abhorant behavior like that, more especially amongst family members!*


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## Dannip (Jun 13, 2017)

Expose him to all. Block him. Don't enable him any further. He's a pig.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

There is no way that you should have had this conversation, and as soon as you got that first inappropriate message you should have shown your husband and blocked him. Cut off all contact for good and stay away from their marriage and lives. It's really not your concern if their marriage is open or not. 

Are you sure that you REALLY can't remember taking your top off, especially as he clearly was there? Not a good idea to do that with other people around.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

I have only known one couple in an open marriage and one thing I noticed is they had no sense of boundaries, it's liked they figured everyone was open game for their advances, married or single made no difference. 

Sounds like your BIL is using his lifestyle as an excuse to hit on you, it really doesn't matter if his marriage is open or not he crossed the line by contacting you. I vote with the others about outing him.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

If this guy knows of your non-monogamous history he's not a **** for asking, he's just a guy looking to start something with a woman who has been amenable to such things in the past.


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## RideofmyLife (Dec 18, 2015)

MJJEAN said:


> If this guy knows of your non-monogamous history he's not a **** for asking, he's just a guy looking to start something with a woman who has been amenable to such things in the past.


Thanks everyone! I told my husband last night and he said he was glad I told him. We did discuss the above quoted, but even so, he went about it in a pretty tactless and vulgar way. We're leaving to go camping this weekend and I plan to hit up his wife afterward and verify they're open. 

I believe Diana said something about not telling his wife? Sorry, but if he's trying to cheat, she should know. If not, no harm no foul. And as far as the length of the conversation, I'm rather glad I gave him enough rope to hang himself with if it turns out he was trying to cheat.


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## Haiku (Apr 9, 2014)

I would have been tempted to copy/paste the conversation into a group text adding in his wife and your husband along with the your comments of his being on a dangerous road and not comfortable with him having information about you. However it would be a crappy way for his wife to learn about it. 

I like the way you handled the text and the plan to follow up. 

Good job.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

RideofmyLife said:


> Thanks everyone! I told my husband last night and he said he was glad I told him. We did discuss the above quoted, but even so, he went about it in a pretty tactless and vulgar way. We're leaving to go camping this weekend and I plan to hit up his wife afterward and verify they're open.
> 
> I believe Diana said something about not telling his wife? Sorry, but if he's trying to cheat, she should know. If not, no harm no foul. And as far as the length of the conversation, I'm rather glad I gave him enough rope to hang himself with if it turns out he was trying to cheat.


Oh, yeah, he went about it with some serious lack of tact. Asking you not to mention the conversation says he's probably trying to operate outside of whatever rules he and his wife agreed to, so I'd tell her, too. 

I was just pointing out that his attempt to engage isn't so outrageous considering you were non-monogamous, too.


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## Dannip (Jun 13, 2017)

Send a photo of your husband holding a shotgun. Don't text anything just send the pic.

Years ago, my wife received an email from senior exec. Said he thought she was beautiful and asked her for lunch. 

She forwarded the email to me. 

I responded to him "My wife says NO". 

The idiot replied to me he's not that kind of guy (lies). I never responded. Wife never saw him
again anywhere. If she did, I'd have forwarded the email to HR and the CEO.

Please Tell his wife. Show her his texts. Tell her to control him and leave you alone. You may just save some underage girl a horrible experience.

Always always always communicate with your H. Never even consider not to about anything.


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## RideofmyLife (Dec 18, 2015)

Hi all, 

I sent her a text tonight telling her everything. We had gotten back from camping and I honestly had spaced the whole thing, so I 
got on that tonight. I'll let you know what she comes back with.


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## Maka (Jun 21, 2014)

Wow, I feel sorry for his wife. :/


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

Have I missed something. Are you both not in open marriages ?


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## RideofmyLife (Dec 18, 2015)

manfromlamancha said:


> Have I missed something. Are you both not in open marriages ?


We are no longer open, and there's a question as to whether they are, so I'm verifying with her.


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## RideofmyLife (Dec 18, 2015)

Well, looks like she's seen my message, but is not replying. *sigh* I feel really bad for her 
if he was getting up to no good.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

RideofmyLife said:


> Thanks everyone! I told my husband last night and he said he was glad I told him. We did discuss the above quoted, but even so, he went about it in a pretty tactless and vulgar way. We're leaving to go camping this weekend and I plan to hit up his wife afterward and verify they're open.
> 
> I believe Diana said something about not telling his wife? Sorry, but if he's trying to cheat, she should know. If not, no harm no foul. And as far as the length of the conversation, I'm rather glad I gave him enough rope to hang himself with if it turns out he was trying to cheat.


What I said was, that whether they have an open marriage or not isn't really your business. Yours is to protect your own marriage and make sure you have no contact with such a man.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

RideofmyLife said:


> We are no longer open, and there's a question as to whether they are, so I'm verifying with her.


Ah, so you did have an 'open marriage', and thats probably why he contacted you. That puts a new spin on things.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

I agree with everyone, tell your H, he ought to know and it will ensure that this creep wont bother you again.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

She told her husband. Post #15.

Family get-togethers should be interesting from now on.


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## RideofmyLife (Dec 18, 2015)

Blondilocks said:


> She told her husband. Post #15.
> 
> Family get-togethers should be interesting from now on.


The good thing is we never see him. I think I mentioned the last time I saw him was when I was a teenager. I'm thankful for that, at least!


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Diana7 said:


> Ah, so you did have an 'open marriage', and thats probably why he contacted you. That puts a new spin on things.


*Just one major question: Exactly how is it possible to protect a spouse within the confines of an "open marriage?"*


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Even if she was still in an open marriage; the fact is the yokel hit on family - that just isn't done. Plus, he did it in a crude and vulgar manner.


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