# Tips on Making your Spouse fall more in Love with you



## Loveissweet29 (Oct 1, 2009)

Just wondering how to get my husband to fall more in love with me. Im so in love with him and I just want to make sure he stays with me...


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## Crypsys (Apr 22, 2010)

Depends on what ways he views expressions of love. Does he need kind words, touch, gifts, talk, etc? Each person is different in how they would prefer love to be expressed to them. For me I like it when my wife does those little extra things for me (Runs an errand, puts the boys to bed, etc). The Mrs. likes it when we sit and watch TV and she lays her head on my lap and I brush her hair. It's the little things that we do for each other that really seal the love IMO.


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## Susan2010 (Apr 19, 2010)

I know you posted this request with the intention of following people's advice, but I hope you will not do that. You are likely to receive some ridiculous suggestions such as.....never get angry with him??? Oh sheeze!

Please don't take offense, but that you posted this request makes me think you're kind of desperate. Maybe you're being pro-active, which is a good idea. But please don't be desperate. That is a definite turn off. People respect those who respect themselves. A person cannot love another who has no confidence in him/herself. Desperation destroys confidence. Be self-assured and stand up to him when you feel he is wrong, rather than kowtow to his whims. If the two of you are that way for each other, then that's one thing. But it can't be one-sided because that indicates desperation, which is intolerable. He will grow to despise you.

He married you didn't he? Surely that meant he loves you. So, just keep doing what you did that made him love you and marry you. If you try to change, you can't know if you are changing for the better or worse. Why would he want you to suddenly become someone other than the person he fell in love with and married?

Keep communication open. If there are things he does that irks you or that hurt your feelings, calmly tell him so. Don't criticize him, demean his intentions, or angrily scream expletives. Just let him know what he did and why it bothered you. Don't be afraid to let him know, or you will easily become his doormat. He won't respect that either. 

By the same token, ask him what he wants, what he likes. We here on the internet do not know your husband, so we can't necessarily answer you. He is the best person to answer that question. And you'd be surprised how powerful that question is. He will appreciate that you love him enough to be concerned for his happiness.

Other than that, this movie is a greaaaaat big help. Rent it. Watch it. Follow the principles.


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## Loveissweet29 (Oct 1, 2009)

Thanks so much for your responses. i really appreciate it!


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Go to marriagebuilders.com and read all the material about how to feed a marriage. Then, print out the Love Buster questionnaire. Two copies. You both fill it out, and share your answers with each other. Take it again every few years, as things change. It will will show you what NOT to do, so as to avoid resentment. 

Then, print out the Emotional Needs questionnaire and both of you fill it out, and share. It will tell you what your spouse's top 5 Emotional Needs are. YOU should be meeting ALL of those needs.

Think of it like a bucket - a love bucket. An LB pokes holes in that bucket - it makes your spouse unhappy with you. Could be not putting down the toilet seat; could be blowing $5000 without telling you - it makes him/her unhappy. Resentment grows. But the person typically won't say anything; they'll just let the resentment grow - and dig holes in the bucket.

So, you decide to meet his ENs, and you go go-karting with him (EN = recreation), or you compliment him (EN = admiration). You think you're doing a great job, meeting his ENs. But in the meantime, despite the great day you just had go-karting, he can't forget about the mess you left in the bathroom - yet again. He's aggravated! And couldn't care less that you went go-karting with him. Because he's still too steamed that you leave a messy bathroom again and again. 

So you have to stop the LBs before you worry about doing things to make him happy. Hope that makes sense.

As long as you are not LBing him, and you ARE meeting his ENs, you should stay in love.


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## lola_b (Aug 28, 2009)

Also pick up the book The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Be the same person he fell in love with and married. In other words, just be you.


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