# Is this a $#!+ test?



## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

Odo here, back after another "mandatory" 10-day forum vacation.

Today's dilemma...

This weekend, my SO of 8 months moved into my house.

She was going to "bring a few things"

This morning, I get up and go to work at the usual time. She gives me a nice kiss on the lips, says "I love you", and off I go.

8 Hours later, I return. As I walk into the bedroom to change into my sweats for the evening, I turn on the light, and encounter this:









Question: 

Is this a $#!+ test?

If so, how to respond?


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

I'd start looking for a bed to sleep in.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

Wait, how old is she? 

I don't know if it is a s##t test but that is a lot of it on your bed! The only way to respond is with a match!

Wonder what other "decor" she'll add to the place. I'm betting Hello Kitty.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Ummm

I agree with Kristin how old is she....

She isn't the same woman from the other post afraid to stay home alone also is she?


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## ReidWright (May 15, 2014)

"Um, honey...that's not what I meant when I said I wanted to use toys in bed with you!"


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## Giro flee (Mar 12, 2013)

Um the crap on the bed wouldn't bug me, I'd shove it to the other side. However a bed for two up against the wall is a deal breaker for me. Absolutely no climbing in and out of bed for me, nor do I want somebody climbing over me when I'm sleeping.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

The Star Trek doll is yours isn't it?


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

I would institute a no stuffed animal rule. 

Immediately. Those things have always creep-ed me out. 

Always watching with their wee beady eyes.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

How old is she OP? I'm sorry but that's just weird.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Constable Odo said:


> Odo here, back after another "mandatory" 10-day forum vacation.
> 
> Today's dilemma...
> 
> ...


Cool Data figures.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

I think she's fooling ya.

It's a joke.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I'm hoping it's a joke. I think that "LOVE" pillow says it.

Just in case it's not a joke. Is there another bed in the house where she can keep her fake fur friends?


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> I'm hoping it's a joke. I think that "LOVE" pillow says it.
> 
> Just in case it's not a joke. Is there another bed in the house where she can keep her fake fur friends?


Or a shelf for that matter.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Unless she's extremely young - as in, "I think that's a felony" young - there's no way she's serious with that. At least I _sincerely_ hope not......


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

I'm cracking up! I hope it is a joke because, if so, she's one funny lady!  

And if not a joke.....well, it's still funny, but in a sad, sad way!


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## 2&out (Apr 16, 2015)

I vote yes - its a test. Is it your place or did it just become hers ? I think you better act quick or expect full invasion - your closet might be next.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Get a golden retriever. Problem solved.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> Get a golden retriever. Problem solved.


My last one definitely kept fewer toys and stuffed animals in his bed.......


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> Get a golden retriever. Problem solved.


Are you saying this because he should leave women behind and have a dog as a companion or because Goldens are notorious chewers that will chew apart those stuffed toys lol


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Wolf1974 said:


> Are you saying this because he should leave women behind and have a dog as a companion or because Goldens are notorious chewers that will chew apart those stuffed toys lol


No, actually a man with a golden retriever is a chick magnet. 

Golden retrievers are not destructive chewers, but they are stuffie lovers who will, at the very least, leave all those stuffed toys so wet with slobber she will never want them on her bed.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Rowan said:


> My last one definitely kept fewer toys and stuffed animals in his bed.......


Last man or last golden?


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> Last man or last golden?


Yes.


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> No, actually a man with a golden retriever is a chick magnet.
> 
> *Golden retrievers are not destructive chewers*, but they are stuffie lovers who will, at the very least, leave all those stuffed toys so wet with slobber she will never want them on her bed.


We've had several Goldens.....

I call them Scissor Lips.


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

kristin2349 said:


> The Star Trek doll is yours isn't it?


Nope, it's hers. She's a huge Trek fan; used to watch DS9 when she was in high school.



GusPolinski said:


> Cool Data figures.


Check out the really cute stuffed Enterprise (she refers to it as "plushy-prise") to the left of the "Love" pillow. Her's too.




Anon Pink said:


> Get a golden retriever. Problem solved.


I already have three Belgian Sheepdogs. Two Groenendaels and one Tervuren, all imported from Eastern Europe:

Andora
Denali
Drama


Last night I had to build a shelf. For some strange reason, every time I woke up at night, I would end up with a Data doll between my thighs. It was just too creepy for me. So, now all the stuffed animals have been relegated to a 12"x10' shelf above the bed:









This weekend she's supposed to move her 6 cats in. I have to take Friday off to rent a u-Haul to move all the cat trees/slings. Fortunately I have a spare bedroom I wasn't using.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

Wow, that MUST be love, 6 cats? I was kind of right about Hello Kitty being next...6 of them, yikes.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

Oh no she's here on TAM? I hope she has a good sense of humor.

Sorry for my snarky jokes, kind of...


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

ReidWright said:


> "Um, honey...that's not what I meant when I said I wanted to use toys in bed with you!"





kristin2349 said:


> The Star Trek doll is yours isn't it?





Constable Odo said:


> This weekend she's supposed to move her 6 cats in.


:rofl:


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## Giro flee (Mar 12, 2013)

I loooove those dogs❤ Are they going to get along with the cats? I'm not a huge cat fan......

Nice shelf, already working on compromises and problem solving


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I can't see this turning out anything but a blood bath. Belgian sheepdog with 6 cats? Have your dogs been raised around cats?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

MarriedDude said:


> We've had several Goldens.....
> 
> I call them Scissor Lips.


Goldens are good hunting dogs because it's easy to teach them "soft mouth" with ducks, birds and such...which translates to soft mouth with kids and stuffed toys and such.

You gotta teach it before you can get it.


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

Lila said:


> If your girlfriend is who I think she is (not IRL...just on TAM), then WOW! She's got a wickedly mischievous side a mile long. Smart and humorous...she's a keeper. :smthumbup:


She is smart. And humorous. And I adore her.

I think she keeps banning me from the forums so I can't post :scratchhead:

TAM is her forum, not mine. I usually hang out in manly forums, like TractorByNet and TundraTalk. I forget why I even started posting here.




Anon Pink said:


> I can't see this turning out anything but a blood bath. Belgian sheepdog with 6 cats? Have your dogs been raised around cats?


My dogs herd sheep (yes, really), so they love to chase small furry things. They've been getting a little fat lately, so 8 cats will do them some good, it will give them something to chase around the house and get some exercise. All the cats look the same so if one or two go "missing" she won't really notice.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Well I'm not a cat person but they don't usually go missing. Instead you find bits of fur here, a leg there.... Makes an awful mess.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> I can't see this turning out anything but a blood bath. Belgian sheepdog with 6 cats? Have your dogs been raised around cats?


I was just thinking the same thing.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

I see doilies in your future.

ETA: Great walls, btw. Really like the look.


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

GTdad said:


> I see doilies in your future.
> 
> ETA: Great walls, btw. Really like the look.


My house was built in 1738. 99% original oak post-and-beam construction, exposed beams with cathedral ceilings in several of the "newer" rooms. My roof has 18" oak planking as decking boards. The entire interior is wood, from the floors to the ceiling.

Home Sweet Home


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Two words. Yard Sale.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> No, actually a man with a golden retriever is a chick magnet.
> 
> Golden retrievers are not destructive chewers, but they are stuffie lovers who will, at the very least, leave all those stuffed toys so wet with slobber she will never want them on her bed.


Tell that to my last one who ate my couch


I'll stick with labs lol


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

As one who is fairly sensitive to such tests, I think it is cute. :smthumbup:


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

I just got back from relocating her cats from her apartment to my house. There were a lot more than I had anticipated. I guess she lost count somewhere along the way.

I had to rent a U-Haul to carry all the cat trees.

Fortunately, I was able to move everything by myself. Lots of Androgel slathered on my testicles provided me with the Schwarzenegger-like strength necessary to move some of these things.

Unfortunately, there were too many cats to put them in the original spare bedroom I had intended. So, I ended up sticking them in a room down in the basement. They seem pretty happy...


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

Six cats? It must be love.


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## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

Constable Odo said:


> I just got back from relocating her cats from her apartment to my house. There were a lot more than I had anticipated. I guess she lost count somewhere along the way.
> 
> I had to rent a U-Haul to carry all the cat trees.
> 
> ...


You should have used some Ben-Gay too, that would have given you speed to go with your strength. :smthumbup:


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

No no no no no no... only BioFreeze for me!


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Constable Odo said:


> I just got back from relocating her cats from her apartment to my house. There were a lot more than I had anticipated. I guess she lost count somewhere along the way.
> 
> I had to rent a U-Haul to carry all the cat trees.
> 
> ...


*Deep inhale*....I can almost smell it!


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

well, it happened again...

went out this morning to go grab some coffee at dunkies, and what do i find hanging from my rear-view mirror:










WTF!


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Constable Odo said:


> well, it happened again...
> 
> went out this morning to go grab some coffee at dunkies, and what do i find hanging from my rear-view mirror:
> 
> ...


Guess it could be worse. Like a cut off head of the horse, in bed with you, Godfather style


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Constable Odo said:


> well, it happened again...
> 
> went out this morning to go grab some coffee at dunkies, and what do i find hanging from my rear-view mirror:
> 
> ...


You're being colonized, sir.

<Insert assorted colon jokes here.>


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

Today, I came home from a long hard day at work, and went into the bedroom to take a nap.

What did I see mounted on the ceiling above my bed?










Any man not secure in his masculinity would improperly conclude that the reason his woman would mount this on the ceiling would be for her to look at and fantasize about when he's on top of her...


Clearly this is a $#!+ test... 

now to figure out which poster to mount on the ceiling above my side on the bed in response....


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## DayOne (Sep 19, 2014)

Zombie thread....


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

You should stick with The Walking Dead, are you a Maggie (my pick) Carol, or Michonne kind of guy? There is always Deanna and the babes of the Alexandria Safe Zone...

Weren't you the one suggesting a Darryl Dixon tattoo on a man's bicept in another thread? Maybe the poster is for both of you to enjoy.


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## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

Put this up. She'll love it. Really.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

:rofl::rofl::rofl:
My head is hurting from laughing. I'll bet your gf is a real sweetie, her comedic timing is priceless. Oh and stop leaving the house.


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

ok this is getting a bit out of control...

Today, my SO had one of these delivered from Amazon.com... She says no more nookie unless I wear it during my ahem "performance"...

is this a $#!+ test?

What is the proper Red Pill response?


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## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

Constable Odo said:


> ok this is getting a bit out of control...
> 
> Today, my SO had one of these delivered from Amazon.com... She says no more nookie unless I wear it during my ahem "performance"...
> 
> ...


Wear it on your penis if you can stretch it out enough.


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## TiredHubby2791 (Aug 26, 2015)

Maybe a little blue pill is the response she's looking for Odo. ?


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