# Cant do any thing right



## worried123 (Mar 7, 2012)

It seems the last few weeks I can't do any thing right. I feel like im 
Walking on egg shells all the time. Just this weekend alone
I was told I don't organize the fridge properly, I was helping him
And took him a pail of water and he was mad I took so long and that I brought
Hot water not cold. Today I asked him how much money he had in his wallet.and he flipped his
Lid. I didn't even have time to explain I was going to
The bank and just wanted to see if he needed money.

He said I need to learn how to ask questions properly.
And I lost it I just started to cry and have been in my room
Crying for two hours. 

I don't ever mean to be rude I
Just trying to help but it seems whatever I do is wrong.
I'm scared to say any thing or do any thing. Because he seems 
So mad at me all the time.

It's just little things but it's all the time. If I bring it
Up he is mad if I don't say anything then I'm sad 

Need advice on how to deal with it
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

The problem is not YOU. His reaction to the things you are doing is the problem.

What has changed with your husband in the last few weeks? Is he having problems at work? What do you think is going on? Have you asked him?

Is he your husband or boyfriend?
How long have you been together?
How old are both of you?
Do you have children?


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

did a BIG problem happen near the beginning of these few weeks?
has he been acting strange all around since this time?


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## worried123 (Mar 7, 2012)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## worried123 (Mar 7, 2012)

I am 33 he is 40 we don't have children we have been married 
Almost two years. The only thing I can think of is that
Recently was offered a wOnderful job I have great 
Benefits great pay it has tons of opportunity for advancement.
I make more money then him 
But I can see that being an issue it goes into one account that we
Share. I have bee able to help pay off some debt.
That is the only thing I can think of.
I can't Serbia that would upset him
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MrsKy (May 5, 2012)

Looks like your husband feels inadequate because you make more than him, so he's trying to pull you down by being critical. Jealous people do that to make themselves feel better. I have known many unhappy single moms who enjoyed taking shots at my husband and I.

Have you tried to confront your husband about the critical behavior? I was once very critical of my hubby until he told me to knock it off. Now when I have a problem with my husband, I try to express my concerns with his behavior rather than make it about him. He responds better to that.


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## worried123 (Mar 7, 2012)

I never thought of it like that, i did ask him once to
Day if I had done something to offend him. Hesaid
No. I explained every thing I do is to help him
If I bring hot water instead if cold it's not to piss
Him off I'm just trying to help. 

I told him I don't deserve to be treated this way
He said that's right I'm just a jerk .
Honestly I spent the day making meals for next week
And he played video games we have hardly spoke.

I don't know if I should just let it go and ignore
It or try to get it figured out
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## River1977 (Oct 25, 2010)

You probably heard the old saying "Women marry their father." If you did, you likely didn't know what it means. Some people think it means women marry men who looklike their father or men who act like their father, but it doesn't mean either of those. It means women get with a man (boyfriend/husband) and act like his child. Women allow men to tell them what to do, and she obeys. She lives her life by his permission and approval. Women allow men to govern, rule, yell, control, criticize, and so on, while she runs to her room to cry.

Any of that sound familiar?

You can keep on living as if he is your father. Or, you can refuse to put up with this kind of treatment and demand respect. 

The only way to demand respect is not to tolerate disrespect. That means you have to have enough self esteem and sense of worth to leave a man who mistreats you. Ordinarily, leaving will wake him up, and he will be more willing to talk and change his ways. Most often, the change doesn't last very long, maybe a couple weeks or a couple months. But, it's usually not permanent because even though he begs you to come back, professes his undying love, and makes a million empty promises to get you to come back home, he still has no idea how to respect you or that you are serious in your demand. Therefore, you make sure that one of those promises is to attend marriage counseling with you, and then make him keep that promise. Usually, the best idea is not going back until he begins attending and shows real sincere effort to change. Alas, most women are not able to hold out that long and go back just because he begged and made the promises. They go back too quickly because they, themselves, really are not serious in the demand that he make sincere effort. Whether you go back too soon or stay away until he truly gets the message is up to you, but you do have to leave. Since he controls you with his anger and you are unable to talk with him, then you have no other options. Either leave or stay and continue putting up with his abuse.

You probably came here with some expectation of there being a magic potion or words that possess supernatural effect of influence over him, but there is no such thing. The solution to your problem depends entirely on you. As you can see, you are not alone and this is very common among couples, and marriage counseling with a good counselor can produce satisfactory results. A good counselor is not one who will take either side. A good counselor will not criticize him and tell him how wrong he is to treat you this way. That will only alienate him and make him stop going to the sessions. What a good counselor does is pinpoint the problem, and then give you both goal-oriented methods exercises to learn the skills and tools for effective communication and mutual respect. So, dry your tears and decide to be a grown woman who is his wife and not his child. Then, decide to put a stop to him mistreating you.


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## worried123 (Mar 7, 2012)

Im not looking for a magic potion if it were that easy we would all be in a perfect marriage. We had some issues with one of his female friends about three months ago she started becoming very clingy to the point were I became angry. However we talked about it and things have been really good he has stepped back from her maybe talks to her once a month instead of three times a day. 

I was thinking maybe he is angry about that situation and that is why he is lashing out. When i confronted him about the hot water instead of cold water. He does not see my point what so ever, He said i wanted cold water and i wanted it quickly and you can never just stick to the plan.

He has never treated me this way before, That is the confusing part. I am not a women who gets pushed around. But honestly arguing with him over how he is treating me latley is like talking to a wall. 

Does any one have an idea of how i can get him to see it from my point with out causing world war three or being childish??


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## Peachy Cat (Apr 15, 2012)

You wrote: We had some issues with one of his female friends about three months ago she started becoming very clingy to the point were I became angry. However we talked about it and things have been really good he has stepped back from her maybe talks to her once a month instead of three times a day. 

Is this about the time the change in him started? Did he become "down" on you when he was confronted about backing off with this woman?

I'd see his behavior as a red flag is your answer is yes.


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## worried123 (Mar 7, 2012)

No That was about three months ago, this has just started in the last two three weeks


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