# Blokes Weekend - long



## AzzaAus (Sep 18, 2014)

Sorry in advance for the length of this, just trying to give the full picture.

I have two circles of friends, my really good mates from high school and then college, and some mates that I made through a work colleague. 

The latter group have a blokes weekend coming up (Friday to Monday) I've been for the last few years, we go camping, do some fishing, have a few drinks and catch up, a few guys hang around for the whole week but I can't stay that long. The trip has been going for many years and I've been going for the last 7yrs (missed 1), in that time there have been a few firsts for how/where we go and now it's part of every trip, and I really like being a part of this group. 

I don't catch up with these guys very often maybe once a year outside the trip, no reason other than we're all really busy, but I have a really good time. It's good to have some time hanging out with the guys. And it's not just a boozy weekend some of the guys, myself included will use it to discuss certain things going on in our lives (health, relationship, career) and get a different perspective.

My wife hasn't said I can't go this year, but I know she doesn't want me to go. Money and Family Time being the main issues. We had a brief discussion about it, and she said "I thought you said you weren't going cause it wasn't worth the money for such a short trip" but this was for a trip to the same place earlier in the year, with a different group of friends that I didn't go on. She has said I need to decide what I'm going to do, but I know she won't be happy if I decide to go. 

The issue is the Monday is a holiday so we would usually go away as a family on a long weekend, so that is why I'm having difficulty making a decision. If it was on a normal weekend, like it was two years ago, I'd take the leave and go.

Also we bought a small caravan a little while ago and this would be a good opportunity to use it, justifying the cost of it.

but, we will also be going away with some of her friends on two occasions soon (one camping, and one in a holiday house) after the blokes weekend. I enjoy the weekends away but it's usually with her friends and while I get along with their husbands and have a good time, they're not my good mates.

We went away earlier in the year and there were meant to be a few families coming but for various reasons, some of the families didn't come and one bloke was working so. So it was me my wife and daughter, and two other women and their kids (all girls) for the weekend, we laughed about the situation, my harem, and it was no ones fault that the others couldn't come, but there was no interaction with other blokes again.

I see it that we don't do much with my mates (the college group is useless and it's hard getting them organised, some are on the other side of the world so we can't catch up), and I don't do much on my own (and I don't care about that), and this is the one trip a year where I can go fishing, have a few drinks, talk about cars, and I don't need to organise it, I just show up and have a good time.

She catches up with her mates that live locally all the time, and when we go overseas (to visit her family) we always catch up with all of her friends, and I'm fine with that, I know her friends are important to her and she needs to catch up with them, and if this situation was reversed and she wanted to go on a girls weekend, I'd say yeah go, have fun, we'll have a daddy daughter weekend.

I know she see's it as I don't want to spend time with her, but that's not the case, it's that I want to have some time for me, and have that interaction with the guys, and I struggle to explain myself when we discuss things, so I know it won't come out right.


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## Kylie84 (May 4, 2012)

I don't know if you have any other posts around this forum so I will go off what info I read in this thread alone.
If I were in your shoes, I would go. You are presuming she does not want you to go and hasn't asked you directly not to go. As you have said, she sees her friends locally often, where you do not seem to get that fair time with your friends. Once a year IMO is not an issue as long as there are no other reasons you shouldn't go- ie. trust issues due to past infidelities, you and your male friends visiting strip joints when she is against it etc etc.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Does she get any trips away without the kids and without you? A spa weekend with the girls? Has she ever done that? Maybe that's what her issue is about. Vacations with the kids, trips to see the family with the kids, those are all times when she is "working" as a mom. It's not quite time _away _for her, like you get. Has she ever brought that up?


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

I don't see the issue here.

It's an important trip for you that you've done 6 out of the last 7 years.

Your wife gets TWO trips per year with her friends and catches up all the time with her local mates. 

Go on the trip. Have a good time. Don't ask for permission. Your post reeks of "how can I get my parents to let me go on a trip with my friends?". Based off the info given you've done nothing wrong, have no reason to be groveling, or asking permission from your wife, for a once a year bloke's weekend. Tell her you're going and you'll see her when you get back.


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## AzzaAus (Sep 18, 2014)

so in response to a couple of reply's,

1 No trust issues.

2 She doesn't take "girls trips" she more goes out to dinner, or a movie with the girls when they do something. I have suggested one in the past when they were trying to organise something.

Valid point about visiting the family, it's still work, but it is on the other side of the world, and I was more making the point that its something that is important.

3 Reading it again it does sound a bit grovelly and I suppose it is, the difficult part is she has a point about family time, and I'd love to take her where I'm going, but that isn't the purpose of the trip.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

AzzaAus said:


> 3 Reading it again it does sound a bit grovelly and I suppose it is, the difficult part is she has a point about family time, and I'd love to take her where I'm going, but that isn't the purpose of the trip.


I'm failing to see her point about family.

How can one weekend in a year cut into your family time? Don't you spend 99% of the remainder of your time with your wife and kids? Why would she, or anyone, begrudge you one weekend?

And more power to you that you'd love to take her with you. I adore my wife, but a boys trip is a boys trip. I definitely wouldn't "love" to take my wife on a male bonding trip even if she asked. Time away with friends is healthy and enriching. Everything can't be, at least in my life, about my wife. Neither of us would even want that.


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## Kylie84 (May 4, 2012)

jaquen said:


> I'm failing to see her point about family.
> 
> How can one weekend in a year cut into your family time? Don't you spend 99% of the remainder of your time with your wife and kids? Why would she, or anyone, begrudge you one weekend?
> 
> And more power to you that you'd love to take her with you. I adore my wife, but a boys trip is a boys trip. I definitely wouldn't "love" to take my wife on a male bonding trip even if she asked. Time away with friends is healthy and enriching. Everything can't be, at least in my life, about my wife. Neither of us would even want that.


THIS.
While it is important that you prioritize your family time, as long as you are doing that all throughout the year then I'd say go.
It is equally important mentally and for the relationship to keep your sense of individualism, and it is healthy and NORMAL to spend time with friends occasionally :smthumbup:


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

It sounds like your wife is upset because it's on the long weekend. Is it possible to organise a family trip on a normal weekend and each take the Mon/Fri off work to make it a long weekend?

I think if you explained your POV as you have above, told her you felt you accommodated her spending time with her friends, that you'd appreciate if she could do the same for you. Family time doesn't have to be that weekend. Maybe cancel one of the trips with her friends and ask for that to be a family weekend instead.


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## BetrayedAgain7 (Apr 27, 2013)

AzzaAus said:


> She has said I need to decide what I'm going to do, but I know she won't be happy if I decide to go.


Can you not see how manipulative this is?

She doesn't want to be the bad guy and directly tell you that you can't go, so she makes it known in subtle ways that you better not have your weekend away because she's not going to be happy if you do.

That's just PA behaviour through and through.

It's only for 2 DAYS out of a WHOLE year.

Be nice, but be adamant and firm. You deserve a weekend away and barring emergencies you are going, no matter if she is happy about it or not.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

She might have a problem with the label ""blokes weekend". Label itself already presets wrong expectation.

It's no different than if your wife would be going out for "girls night out".

WIfe/Family is your priority, you should go.

And if you can make few days with your blokes, do it as well.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

DoF said:


> It's no different than if your wife would be going out for "girls night out".


The majority of the sane world has no problem, or strong negative aversion, to the phrase "girls night out".


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

BetrayedAgain7 said:


> Can you not see how manipulative this is?
> 
> She doesn't want to be the bad guy and directly tell you that you can't go, so she makes it known in subtle ways that you better not have your weekend away because she's not going to be happy if you do.
> 
> ...



This goes both ways. He wants to go, knows she'll be unhappy, but hasn't bothered to sit her down and say "honey, I know we'd usually do a family weekend but I don't get to do this much so would it be that big of a deal if I go?" Communication goes both ways, and his current approach is quite passive aggressive.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

like i just posted in the "going for a cruise, or not" thread:
couples who do not vacation together are cruising for a divorce. 

If you have limited time and $, you need to spend them both on the wife first, friends 2nd. She is right to be pissed.

IF you choose to go, you had damned well better have a very romantic getaway planned for her to make up for it.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

murphy5 said:


> like i just posted in the "going for a cruise, or not" thread:
> couples who do not vacation together are cruising for a divorce.
> 
> If you have limited time and $, you need to spend them both on the wife first, friends 2nd. She is right to be pissed.
> ...


Agree. In addition, I can't believe how many think he should basically inform his wife of what he's doing with tacit implication that if she doesn't like it she can f!ck off. Terrible advice....let's see how that works for his marriage, or anyone's marriage for that matter.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BetrayedAgain7 (Apr 27, 2013)

lifeistooshort said:


> Communication goes both ways, and his current approach is quite passive aggressive.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Passive aggressive doesn't come to mind on his part as far as I am concerned, but the communication part is spot on and why I advised him to be nice, but adamant and firm. 

She needs and deserves to know exactly where he stands.

Just like a man needs and deserves to spend 2 days out of 365 enjoying himself with his mates.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

murphy5 said:


> couples who do not vacation together are cruising for a divorce.


Please tell me this is a joke and I'm just missing the punchline?

:scratchhead:


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

lifeistooshort said:


> Agree. In addition, I can't believe how many think he should basically inform his wife of what he's doing with tacit implication that if she doesn't like it she can f!ck off. Terrible advice....let's see how that works for his marriage, or anyone's marriage for that matter.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It's not telling your wife to f!ck off.

It's being a grown up and realizing you don't need to ask your wife for permission as if she was your mother.

I don't ask mommy, I mean my wife, if I can go out and play with my friends. I tell her I'm going out and I'll see her when I get home. She has the exact same freedom as, likewise, is a grown up.

Same with this annual trip. This is nothing new. He's been doing this for the better part of a decade. She's well aware of the ritual. This shouldn't even be a discussion or an issue whatsoever. A couple days out of the 365 in a year to connect with your friends and have a good time shouldn't be worth all this drama.

The more I read TAM the more I'm so grateful for my marriage. I guess I'm just allergic to parent-child relationships masquerading as marriage.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

jaquen said:


> The majority of the sane world has no problem, or strong negative aversion, to the phrase "girls night out".


Does NOT compute.

majority of the world is NOT sane. Do you live under a rock? Go ahead and take a CLOSE look at the people around you.

Majority of the world is stupid.

Your point?



jaquen said:


> Please tell me this is a joke and I'm just missing the punchline?
> 
> :scratchhead:


So tell us, how is your marriage doing?

Why in the world would I want to go on vacation without my loved ones? That doesn't sound like fun at all.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

DoF said:


> Majority of the world is stupid.
> 
> Your point?


Thankfully I don't hold such a low opinion of humanity as you do. I have a life full of people I love and cherish, and I tend to love humanity, warts and all. So no, don't agree.




DoF said:


> So tell us, how is your marriage doing?


Extremely well, thanks for asking.



DoF said:


> Why in the world would I want to go on vacation without my loved ones? That doesn't sound like fun at all.


If you have other loved ones, you know like great friends or family members who you enjoy, why wouldn't you? My entire world doesn't revolve around my spouse, damn near perfect as the woman is, so perhaps that's the difference.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

jaquen said:


> Thankfully I don't hold such a low opinion of humanity as you do. I have a life full of people I love and cherish, and I tend to love humanity, warts and all. So no, don't agree.


I do to and like to be optimistic and positive about people, unfortunately around where I live........when I look around......it's hard to maintain that opinion and optimism.



jaquen said:


> If you have other loved ones, you know like great friends or family members who you enjoy, why wouldn't you? My entire world doesn't revolve around my spouse, damn near perfect as the woman is, so perhaps that's the difference.


Whatever works for you, sounds good.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

AzzaAus said:


> 2 She doesn't take "girls trips" she more goes out to dinner, or a movie with the girls when they do something. I have suggested one in the past when they were trying to organise something.
> 
> Valid point about visiting the family, it's still work, but it is on the other side of the world, and I was more making the point that its something that is important.


If she's never gone away without you and your daughter, and that's because she doesn't want to, then she has no frame of reference for your fishing trip. She doesn't know what you get out of it, or worse, she believes you want to get away from her, specifically, rather than just wanting time away with your buddies.

You two aren't talking about the same thing.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

jaquen said:


> It's not telling your wife to f!ck off.
> 
> It's being a grown up and realizing you don't need to ask your wife for permission as if she was your mother.
> 
> ...


It's lovely that you view it as permission instead of discussing with your life partner. If your wife is good with you making your own plans with no regard for what she thinks more power to you, but generally where there's a couple people consider each other and communicate/negotiate. People that want to do what they want to do without consulting a partner, or what you call "asking permission", should stay single. I would never simply inform my hb of my plans to leave for a long weekend without getting his input, and he would not appreciate it if I did.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

BetrayedAgain7 said:


> Passive aggressive doesn't come to mind on his part as far as I am concerned, but the communication part is spot on and why I advised him to be nice, but adamant and firm.
> 
> She needs and deserves to know exactly where he stands.
> 
> Just like a man needs and deserves to spend 2 days out of 365 enjoying himself with his mates.




Fair enough, but I don't think simply informing her of his plans is a good idea. That's not what married people do. Married people negotiate, which means talking to her, laying out his position, listening to and addressing hers, and working something out. It's very possible that she doesn't feel like she really can offer her opinion, and that is a problem. I've been there.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

lifeistooshort said:


> It's lovely that you view it as permission instead of discussing with your life partner. If your wife is good with you making your own plans with no regard for what she thinks more power to you, but generally where there's a couple people consider each other and communicate/negotiate. People that want to do what they want to do without consulting a partner, or what you call "asking permission", should stay single. I would never simply inform my hb of my plans to leave for a long weekend without getting his input, and he would not appreciate it if I did.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



I am an adult. So is my wife. We got married, not enrolled in a lifetime nursery school program.

Major trips would obviously require discussion. One of us is not going to just pick up and go to France for a week and not discuss that.

An annual trip, taken six out of the last seven years, for one weekend out of the entire year? Yes, for both of us, that's a "The weekend of the 14th I'll be on XYZ trip, as usual". IF, on the rare chance there is a conflict, THEN we'll discuss it. That's, however, unlikely.

Yes it's nice that you insinuate that we don't care about each other's feelings just because we don't hold a committee meeting over every single thing, but rest assured my wife and I are doing beautifully. And all without having to veto or pass every single little thing that comes along. We don't feel the need to "negotiate" petty stuff like this.



lifeistooshort said:


> That's not what married people do.


No, that's not what you do in your marriage. You don't get to define what "married people do". What works for you sure wouldn't work in my marriage, and vice versa.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

jaquen said:


> I am an adult. So is my wife. We got married, not enrolled in a lifetime nursery school program.
> 
> Major trips would obviously require discussion. One of us is not going to just pick up and go to France for a week and not discuss that.
> 
> ...



Interesting, so each marriage should negotiate its own terms? I agree, yet you insinuate OP's marriage should function like yours and he should get to do what he wants. Yet based on his posts it would seem that this won't work in his marriage.

And if you have this understanding with your wife i'm guessing you've discussed it at some point. He hasn't, and to suggest he do what he wants without making sure he and his wife are on the same page because he's an adult is not going to help.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

lifeistooshort said:


> I agree, yet you insinuate OP's marriage should function like yours and he should get to do what he wants.


So you suggest what? The wife in question knows that he takes this trip almost every year, knows it's important to him, and hitherto seemed fine with him taking it.

The question isn't discussion. He never said he had a problem discussing things with his wife in general. The question is whether or not he should still go IF she disapproves, which he anticipates. All this from a wife who, according to the OP, gets to freely have trips to see her friends and family, and hangs out with her (not his) local social set regularly.

Their relationship is set up to allow her to see her friends and family, yet he's groveling for ONE weekend, a weekend trip that she's hitherto "approved".

So what else should the man do? If you don't think him standing up for himself and this ONE weekend trip is conducive for marriage, what is your suggestion in the face of her obvious unfairness?


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## U.E. McGill (Nov 27, 2013)

I empathize with you. My wife's family and social circle is our focus. I'm mostly an introvert. I have a few good friends all over, my brother one of my best is on the other coast. 

I go away for a week every year. I don't ask. I just told her "going to Alaska for a WEEK". 

If your wife is upset let her deal with her feelings. It's alright to acknowledge her feelings, but you don't have to fix them. Go on your trip.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

jaquen said:


> So you suggest what? The wife in question knows that he takes this trip almost every year, knows it's important to him, and hitherto seemed fine with him taking it.
> 
> The question isn't discussion. He never said he had a problem discussing things with his wife in general. The question is whether or not he should still go IF she disapproves, which he anticipates. All this from a wife who, according to the OP, gets to freely have trips to see her friends and family, and hangs out with her (not his) local social set regularly.
> 
> ...



I'd suggest he be a man and address it directly. He's ducking and dodging as much as her. Sit her down and say "wife, I realize you are not happy about this and I understand we'd usually take a family vacation. But you get to see your friends all the time and I don't have this opportunity; can you understand this? What are your thoughts?" By even acknowledging what she thinks and giving her an open opportunity to say whatever she has to say she might back off, but even if not she'll at least have been able to speak. 

What you view as getting permission from mommy I view as spousal communication, and just because one has something they've been doing for years doesn't mean it will always be a good idea. My hb has been a season ticket holder for a prominent college football team for 25 years, but it involves him disappearing for long periods of time for every home game as it's a drive, then he must tailgate, so each excursion is a 15 hour deal. Frankly it's a lot now that he's married again and he knows it; there are other issues with it that I won't get into here but he has voluntarily cut back because he knows it's a lot. But by your logic he's been doing it for 25 years and i'm not his mommy so it really doesn't matter what I think. 

Fortunately my hb gets that it really does matter what I think and he's learning that these things are more pleasant for him when he talks to me about what I think.

One of his points was that he gets to hang out with his buddy that he doesn't see a lot, and I understood that. I have other issues with it, which he at least acknowledged. End result? He's gone to 2 so far this season and will probably go to a few more, but will not do all of them. That's what happens when you talk to your spouse.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Yet do you not see the stark difference between the sound advice you give here:



lifeistooshort said:


> I'd suggest he be a man and address it directly. He's ducking and dodging as much as her. Sit her down and say "wife, I realize you are not happy about this and I understand we'd usually take a family vacation. But you get to see your friends all the time and I don't have this opportunity; can you understand this? What are your thoughts?" By even acknowledging what she thinks and giving her an open opportunity to say whatever she has to say she might back off, but even if not she'll at least have been able to speak.


Which features a man standing his ground, calling his wife out on her inconsistencies, while acknowledging her feelings, vs this:




lifeistooshort said:


> This goes both ways. He wants to go, knows she'll be unhappy, but hasn't bothered to sit her down and say "honey, I know we'd usually do a family weekend but I don't get to do this much so would it be that big of a deal if I go?"


Which is a bunch of groveling, sniveling mess and is the very definition of asking "mommy" for permission?

You don't seem to get that I, or likely anybody here, is suggesting that you not discuss things with your spouse. I'm sure we all discuss plenty of choices with our spouse; I've been with my baby for a total of 14 years, and we have a VERY successful, joyful relationship. We got that way partly from being excellent communicators. 

But communicating your thoughts and wants, and standing up for yourself if things are unfair, as they are in this situation, is again a far, far cry from this:

* "honey, I know we'd usually do a family weekend but I don't get to do this much so would it be that big of a deal if I go?" 
*

The above is the antithesis of "being a man". Is that how your husband approaches you?


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Disagree. in my view you're now arguing semantics.....asking her if it's that big of a deal is not groveling. "please, please, please can I go????? I'll do anything you want" is groveling, which I never suggested. You seem not to be able to separate discussing, acknowledging what she thinks and getting her input is notasking permission. 

Where the games are concerned, my hb looked at me and said "there is a home game coming up, how do you feel about it?". Is that groveling because, he didn't simply inform me he was going?

I'm glad your marriage is successful, we have been together almost 10 years and are also doing well so I must know something.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

lifeistooshort said:


> Where the games are concerned, my hb looked at me and said "there is a home game coming up, how do you feel about it?". Is that groveling because, he didn't simply inform me he was going?
> 
> I'm glad your marriage is successful, we have been together almost 10 years and are also doing well so I must know something.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That's nice. More power to you and your husband if he feels the need to ask if he can go to a home game. Why would my wife even having "feelings" about the home game that I'd need to enquire about? That's akin to me saying "babe, can I go to the movies/restuarant/my boy's house to play cards", etc. 

I don't see the need. My wife doesn't either. The very idea that we would even need to ask the question as to whether one of us "could" participate in mundane activities like that literally makes no sense to us. If the activities don't cut in on anything already planned, then there is no reason to ask.

It does take all kinds indeed.


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## BetrayedAgain7 (Apr 27, 2013)

lifeistooshort said:


> It's very possible that she doesn't feel like she really can offer her opinion, and that is a problem. I've been there.


She has already revealed her feelings on the matter and has stated passively aggressively that he should decide for himself if he wants to go, while on the other hand, not really being happy about him going.

If she feels like she can't state her opinion (for whatever reason:scratchhead and offer him anymore honesty than that, then he can take it as a given that it IS up to him. 

She is the one lacking in communication, not him.

Why people have to dance around important issues such as this, when poor communication skills are up there as being one of the prime causes of relationship breakdown is beyond belief. 

If she really doesn't want him to go she sould just SAY she doesn't and WHY she doesn't. 

What's so hard or difficult about that?


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## ThirtyYearsIn (Sep 20, 2014)

Correct me if I am wrong. I believe I already read the other side of this story. Her side of the story included the fact that you were involved in some minor infidelity at this same function years ago early in your relationship (just making out?). Is that true? Have you witnessed infidelity or attempted infidelity by others in previous years? Excessive drinking? Is this a guy's only fishing trip or will the be single women present? 

Please forgive if this is not the same situation:



> My now husband has been going on an annual end of season camping trip since before we got together. I started going with him after our first year of dating and have gone every year up until this one since we now have an infant.
> My problem is that this weekend involves drinking to excess and there are girls that camp in the area that have no boundaries (for lack of a better term). I have seen them climb into tents with my drunk guy friends that are in relationships.
> We have gotten in fights about these girls almost every year I am there. I have been 15 feet away from them and they have tried to drag him into their tent. My husband told me that one of the girls told him how she always had a thing for him and it was too bad he was taken (at the time I was again about 15 feet away). He told her she was dumb basically and told me about it as soon as we were alone together. He still talks to them when we go, which kind of bothers me because if the situation was reversed he would be completely pissed if I had any contact with guys that interacted with me this way.
> Early on in our relationship my husband went on this camping trip without me and made out with a girl there. He lied about it at the time but later told me the truth about it a few years into our relationship. He has never done anything since and has always been honest about anything I ask (that particular girl has never been back).
> For all of these reasons I think that a weekend of booze mixed with incessant come ons by drunk girls is just a bad idea.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

jaquen said:


> That's nice. More power to you and your husband if he feels the need to ask if he can go to a home game. Why would my wife even having "feelings" about the home game that I'd need to enquire about? That's akin to me saying "babe, can I go to the movies/restuarant/my boy's house to play cards", etc.
> 
> I don't see the need. My wife doesn't either. The very idea that we would even need to ask the question as to whether one of us "could" participate in mundane activities like that literally makes no sense to us. If the activities don't cut in on anything already planned, then there is no reason to ask.
> 
> It does take all kinds indeed.


Please be careful when you decide to condescend to people. There's lots about my situation you don't know.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

lifeistooshort said:


> Please be careful when you decide to condescend to people. There's lots about my situation you don't know.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Oh, you mean kind of like how told everyone in this thread that if they didn't ask their spouse for permission it was akin to telling them to "f!ck off", wouldn't work for "anyone's marriage", and straight up accused me personally of having "no regard" for my wife's feelings, without knowing anything whatsoever about my marriage?

Yes, you are well acquainted with condescension and assumption Mrs. Pot.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

ThirtyYearsIn said:


> Correct me if I am wrong. I believe I already read the other side of this story. Her side of the story included the fact that you were involved in some minor infidelity at this same function years ago early in your relationship (just making out?). Is that true? Have you witnessed infidelity or attempted infidelity by others in previous years? Excessive drinking? Is this a guy's only fishing trip or will the be single women present?
> 
> Please forgive if this is not the same situation:


Hi person poster who obviously registered this account just to start some crap:

The story you just posted isn't even from this board, it's from Reddit, and the details don't even remotely line up with the OP's tale. Fan your flames elsewhere.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

lifeistooshort said:


> Agree. In addition, I can't believe how many think he should basically inform his wife of what he's doing with tacit implication that if she doesn't like it she can f!ck off. Terrible advice....let's see how that works for his marriage, or anyone's marriage for that matter.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


well, it shows a lack of love/desire to be with/do things with her. What the heck type of marriage is that?


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

murphy5 said:


> well, it shows a lack of love/desire to be with/do things with her. What the heck type of marriage is that?


What type of marriage can't handle the weight of a weekend apart?

What kind of spouse assumes that wanting to spend a weekend with friends means you lack love/desire to be with/do things with them? What kind of sane, emotionally healthy person leaps to that conclusion? And why would you want to be married to a person who would leap to said conclusion?


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