# guys one on one time.... With themselves



## cory275 (Aug 11, 2011)

is it impossible for a guy to stop spaking the monkey?
I've been married less than 2 years and he spanks.. Not a lot.. But enough for be to be bothered. We decided that his spaking and my bean flicking was just not good for our relationship, so we both promised to stop. I threw out my toys, but he's still spankin. Should I just throw in my towel? Sex after the spank suuuucks. 

should I just re buy my toys and call it even?


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## The_Swan (Nov 20, 2011)

My husband and I both masturbate pretty often. 
The erections my husband has during masturbation are usually not strong enough to have intercourse with and I'm betting your husband is the same way but he probably doesn't know how to tell you that.

Rubbing out the "easy" ones has benefits. 
If we masturbate and have sex in the same day, then during sex: 

1) He gets a huge hard on 
2) He lasts longer 
3) His orgasm is more intense 

1) My body is more sensitive to his touches and kisses
2) I last longer 
3) I orgasm very hard 

Don't get upset because he spanks it. All guys do it. Don't shame him for doing so. You can't force him to just have sex with you and not have his "fantasy time." 
He will actually be less interested in you if you keep badgering him about it.

I suggest you:

1) Talk to him openly about his masturbation 
2) Find out when he can last longer - in the mornings\evenings\8 hours after spanking it 
3) Go ahead and re-buy your toys. Nothing wrong with having them. 
4) Women get attracted to other people and have fantasies about them, too. There is nothing wrong with this.
5) Be open-minded & don't shame him.

Males have a natural instinct to roam and be attracted to other women. It's what he does with those feelings that count. 
Be happy that he's making Rosie Palm and her 5 Sisters the "other women" and not the cute girls he sees at the bar\work\neighbor etc. 

Also, it doesn't mean he's not attracted to you. He's sharing his bed and his life with you. 
The women he looks at may be nice scenery, but you are the leading lady and the star of his world. 

You can be part of his fun, too, you know! 
Take some sexy shots of yourself\get photos professionally done and put them on his computer or have prints made. 

Being more open with each other about this will forge a deeper bond between you two and can lead to more sex. Don't make him feel bad over something natural.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I don't know about a long term relationship, but... I used to be a "daily spanker". Wasn't getting any in my marriage, so why not?

Now, I've been seeing someone for the last 9 months or so, and I truly can't remember the last time I was DIY, unless she asked me to put on a show for her. The difference is the amount of intimacy in our relationship, the amount of sex (5 to 7 times a week, instead of < 1 per week), and having a partner who really really likes having sex with me. Even if we go for a week without due to schedules or whatever, I'd rather wait and have sex with her than take care of myself.

Having said that, I don't mind that she's knocked out a couple on her own in the same period. Usually because that means she's "stupid fvcking horny" (as my incoming text says), and at best, it's merely taken the edge off her, so I'll still get lucky that night. She recovers much quicker than I do. 

Don't know if this helps or not, but if a 44 year old daily spanker can turn things around without even being asked, then yes, I think it's possible.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Is he spanking it while indulging in porn? Chronic masturbation, especially if it's fueled by porn, can sometimes cause sexual dysfunctions like delayed ejaculation, inability to get turned on by a partner, and slower, more flaccid erections.

Does he know that spanking it makes the sex worse afterward? Have you told him that?

When you say it sucks, does that mean he's got some dysfunction during sex - not hard enough, can't orgasm?

There is such a thing as too much of a good thing. 

Best wishes.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

I don't understand why so many people in this place have sub a problem with masturbation?

WTF??
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

tacoma said:


> I don't understand why so many people in this place have sub a problem with masturbation?
> 
> WTF??
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


She said that "sex after the spank suuuuucks", so I take that to mean he is spending more time in masturbation than in sex with her or that his masturbation habits are affecting his ability to have enjoyable, mutual sex with her. THAT is when there is a problem with it, I think. It shouldn't be done to such an extent that it is supplanting or diminishing the quality of the sexual relationship with your spouse.


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## Soccerfan73 (Jul 30, 2011)

The_Swan said:


> My husband and I both masturbate pretty often.
> The erections my husband has during masturbation are usually not strong enough to have intercourse with and I'm betting your husband is the same way but he probably doesn't know how to tell you that.
> 
> Rubbing out the "easy" ones has benefits.
> ...


:iagree:


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

cory275 said:


> is it impossible for a guy to stop spaking the monkey?
> I've been married less than 2 years and he spanks.. Not a lot.. But enough for be to be bothered. We decided that his spaking and my bean flicking was just not good for our relationship, so we both promised to stop. I threw out my toys, but he's still spankin. Should I just throw in my towel? Sex after the spank suuuucks.
> 
> should I just re buy my toys and call it even?


I think a lot of guys continue this to some extent after marriage. For me, the frequency just kind of comes and goes. 
If you think it's hurting your sex life though, then it's a problem regardless of how common it is.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CalifGuy (Nov 2, 2011)

I, for one, will only rub one out when I think there is a better chance than not, of NOT having sex later that day/night.

But, unless my wife is having sex with me daily, then I think it is unreasonable for her to expect me to NEVER masturbate. I am high drive and feel the need to climax most every day.


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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

I would if I had the time and privacy.


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## square1 (Oct 31, 2011)

I say it is possible to stop only based on my husband though. After he realized he had a problem with porn and masturbating he decided to stop both. It has been hard for him but he has gone from masturbating 4x day to once a month or every other month. His erections since stopping/cutting waaaaay back are so much harder and he lasts alot longer. Sex is back to being amazing. I say as long as he has you welling to provide sexual release when he gets the urge that should cut it way down. But he does have to be willing to stop and come to you to fulfill the needs he is used to fulfilling on his own.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Your husband's xmas theme song? : 
Matt Rogers - I Love to Choke My Chicken With My Hand - YouTube

Anyways sometimes people are just not in the mood for intimacy as it's rather time consuming. Like for example, oh sh-t I have I work to do, but no, I have a boner. So I choke the chicken with my hands, and go back into work, it's very convenient.

The missus also has a problem with it though, I really don't see the problem, she masturbates too, and a lot more then me.


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

cory275 said:


> is it impossible for a guy to stop spaking the monkey?
> I've been married less than 2 years and he spanks.. Not a lot.. But enough for be to be bothered. We decided that his spaking and my bean flicking was just not good for our relationship, so we both promised to stop. I threw out my toys, but he's still spankin. Should I just throw in my towel? Sex after the spank suuuucks.
> 
> should I just re buy my toys and call it even?



What sucks about sex after masturbation?


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

I'm doing it right now!!!


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

Kobo said:


> What sucks about sex after masturbation?


In my experience:

Sex = good
sex after release = great
sex after release after release = Mind blowing or horrible (depending on my current fitness level)
sex after release after release after release = humiliating

release = sex or masturbation.

If I rubbed one out 3-4 times a day I wouldn't want to have sex either. I've done it before my wife came home if we haven't had sex in a few days just to last longer, but if I did it more than once I would not be as hard and I wouldn't have the same level of desire.

For example, the last few nights I have had like the most intense urge to go down on my wife and then pound her hard right after she was finished. If I had pleasured myself before that, I probably wouldn't have been as into it, and I certainly wouldn't have kept my erection the whole time I was pleasing her.


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## nader (May 4, 2011)

It is a tricky balance, and every guy is different. I used to DIY every day or every other day. A few months into our marriage we figured out that it is connected with times I have trouble finishing during intercourse. 

I've scaled it back to 1-2 times/week, trying to save it for days when I KNOW we won't be having the sex, and now I am starting to face the other problem and finishing in 2 minutes like an over-eager teenager! this is not as bad as it sounds because my wife works on her feet and rarely has energy for extended freaky donkey kong sex marathons.

I'm hoping to find the right balance, where I can go as long as I want and finish exactly when I want to.. right now it's either one way or the other.. but there is most definitely a correlation with my DIY habits.


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