# Buried and desparate



## Rico (Jul 28, 2010)

I'm separating from my wife of 10 years and two children. Let's just say that her behavior was the catalyst into it and my behavior was what put the nail in the coffin. 

In any case, we own a home and have a mountain of debt. I am doing everything to try and figure out how to get out of debt so that I can move out of the house and just get out of her face. We agreed that she could have the house and sign a right of occupancy contract which states that the home still belongs to us and when she decides she wants to sell I get my half of whatever it sells for. We cant sell now as the market stinks and our home lost value. the bills are in excess of 30k and there is no way of trying to pay that and me get out to start life on my own. Has anyone been in the same situation and if there are any possible solutions.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Can one or both of you share with family or friends, and then be in the house with the kids when it is your days? It's cheaper than 2 separate places and allows the kids to stay in one home. As for bills, make a plan for cutting the debt as quickly as possible. Living on a shoestring is tolerable if you know it won't last for ever. If she doesn't work, she should start, esp. if the debt is joint. Then her income could go to debt reduction if you could keep the family afloat (team work still). Maybe you could cut the debt faster if you both got extra jobs and all the exta income went to debt reduction. It isn't easy, but if you are committed and can find enough work, then it won't take as long to get out of the hole. What are your skills? Hers?


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

There's no doubt that separation and divorce are expensive. Are you sure there is no way to salvage your marriage? Is the debt part of the marital problem? Unfortunately once you are separated, there probably won't be much team work in reducing the debt. From my experience that aspect will probably get worse.

Our debts were awful before our separation. My husband (aka Sugar Daddy) had a terrible spending habit and had no concept of managing money. However, once he moved out I found out things were much worse than I thought. He had so many debts I knew nothing about--a secret lifestyle.

If you are behind on payments and are constantly harassed by bill collectors, you and your wife may want to make an appointment with a bankruptcy attorney. Most offer a free consultation appointment.


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## Rico (Jul 28, 2010)

Well she makes more than me. We've decided that maybe trying to put the house up for sale even though we will take a loss on it because of the housing crash. She works and I work. She's in the medical field and does well and I am in sales and do ok.


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