# Can't finish



## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

I am 38 years old, married and I have two kids. My wife and I have had a decent, if not very exciting, sex life up until a few months ago. 

I suddenly find myself losing interest. It is not that I don't want to have sex, but once I start it seems too much effort and I just stop or I have to try really hard to ejaculate.

My wife thinks it is because she has a very loose vagina after having kids, but our youngest is now 9 so there has been no recent change on that front. It does feel loose, but I am not sure that is it.

I have had a fairly thorough health check recently so I don't think it is a physical problem.

Any similar experiences, suggestions?


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

You sound like me!
I, too, am late 30's and have a problem blowing my load during intercourse. It usually ends up in Mutual Masturbation, and we're OK with it. (We have recently recommitted to intimacy after a long dry spell).
Perhaps it is the same problem I'm having. Has your work schedule changed? Are you sleeping okay? I didn't know it was fatigue until a someone on this site floated the idea, and I'm convinced that it is the main contributing factor. I notice that when I'm fatigued the day we are supposed to play, my performance is lacking, because I am tired, stressed and I get "worn out" during the act much quicker.But if I feel rested, more at ease and confident, it's easier.
Look into this, and good luck!


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## jamesa (Oct 22, 2010)

That could well be it. If you both work hard or are having emotional problems?


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## Hopeful1 (Aug 31, 2010)

You mentioned having had a "tough year." If any of that has to due with marital issues, that may contribute to your lack of interest or delayed/lack of orgasm. My husband and I have been going through some marital issues and he is very tied emotionally to sex. Intimacy is something he associates strongly with love and passion, and as we've been having challenges in our marriage, he's been having trouble connecting fully in the bedroom. It's getting better as we are in counseling and we're now just starting to rekindle. But, certainly, if you're having a rough year in your marriage -- or even with other emotional strains and stresses -- that can affect your interest in sex and your ability to orgasm.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

johnnycomelately said:


> I am 38 years old, married and I have two kids. My wife and I have had a decent, if not very exciting, sex life up until a few months ago.
> 
> I suddenly find myself losing interest. It is not that I don't want to have sex, but once I start it seems too much effort and I just stop or I have to try really hard to ejaculate.
> 
> ...


You might need a detail men health check for your problem.

Did you also do your testosterone blood test? Men need a good level of testosterone to feel horny with urges for ejaculation.


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