# venting because i have no one to talk to



## wow15 (Mar 15, 2012)

I can’t believe how much of a wh0re you can be, Just knowing that you are the one that is going to raise our daughter makes me sick to my stomach. Thus far you are the worst person I have ever met. I feel so horrible for your dad and mother because of the person you have grown up to become. I’ve never met a bigger liar than you, not only are you a compulsive liar but you are the fakest human being on this planet. You make yourself seem like such a sweet and kind person but in reality you are a back stabbing, double crossing and cold hearted b!tch. 
I think it’s hilarious how you think that I’ve made a fool out of myself. Who did I make a fool of myself to? To you, To your boyfriends? If those are the people you think I made myself look dumb too then what does that even matter. I don’t give a rat’s ass about their opinion of me because they are not relevant to the people that are close to me. The person that needs to be worried about looking like a fool is you, why? Because you have broken up your family, cheated on your husband five times in the four years you were with him, had sex with a random guy two days after you left me and he ended using you only for sex, and you are also talking to three other guys. Once everybody finds out the truth and everything comes out to fruition the person that is going to be the fool will be you.
You can threaten me all you want I don’t care. You say that you’re going to make sure I don’t see our daughter ever again then be my guest. Once she gets older she is going to ask about me and where I am. Our daughter is going to want to meet me and wonder why I’m not around. Knowing you, you will make up a lie about how I didn’t want to be around and left but all of you bull sh!t lies always change and she will catch on. Once she knows the truth she will come looking for me. Then what? Our daughter will know the truth about you. She will have her opinions and from there I don’t know what will happen. Maybe she won’t care, or maybe she will hate you for what you’ve done to our family.
I hate you so damn much you fuxing b!tch. I’ve never cried for anyone like I’ve cried for you. I gave you my whole heart and you destroyed that sh!t. Every single time that you said “I love you babe” was a damn lie. When I started getting emotional the other day and told you how hard I’m taking this whole situation you just started to fuxing smile. How can you be so damn evil to find amusement from my misery? I hope that you fall in love with one of those guys that you are fuxing. I wish that when you do fall in love with them they take your heart and stomp on that b!tch. I want you to cry all night long. I want you to go looking for them at 2-3 a clock in the morning just to find out they are fuxing someone else. I hope someday you feel exactly the same way I felt when you left me. 
I’m going to rise above this and someday I will find the real love of my life. I’m only 22 and I’ve gone through a lot. Marriage, child, and divorce but things happen for a reason and I can only get better from here on. I will take this time to find myself, to find my soul mate, and I will find my pursuit of happiness. I don’t think I will ever forgive you for what you have put me through. As a matter of fact I know I won’t forgive you ever. So ***k you!


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## phaber6 (Mar 15, 2012)

...wow, good luck man, sounds like you've had a real hard time.
What was your marriage like in the beginning?.....can you get custody of your daughter, is it a given that she has to go with the mother. Sounds like she might be better with you. 

There's a lot of pain in this....all the best.


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## wow15 (Mar 15, 2012)

In the beginning it was good you know, we were in love and about to have a baby. But she tells me she doesn’t know when she felt "out of love" with me. I don’t think I can get custody of her because I’m unemployed, moved back with my mother and she left me with no money or car. She was my everything; I gave her all my time and affection. I was so in love I rejected all my friends and now I have no one.


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## phaber6 (Mar 15, 2012)

Its the pattern....the friend network is all hers, when she goes it goes with her. This is where I am, very few social contacts, a small, fractured family, leading a very solitary life and trying to cope with everything that has happened. She's out there having a very busy social time, I'm trying to decide whether to contact any of the people we used to see as a couple....that they don't contact me is discouraging. And the ex wouldn't like it. Getting something started socailly is a real hard one for the guys.....

How far into the marriage dis it start to go bad?


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## wow15 (Mar 15, 2012)

I really don’t know, I always thought things were okay, she never really complained. Then two weeks ago we are having dinner and she starts talking about how she has lost herself and that she is not happy and doesn’t love me. It just happened so fast.


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## phaber6 (Mar 15, 2012)

....yeah this is the trouble. Someone once said to me that the woman can leave emotionally a long time before the bags get packed. By the time you get to know about it its being going on for a long time. My breakup came out of the blue sort of, one minute we're doing family christmas, the next its over. But looking back I can see a longer pattern, you know, the friend that used to come over and chat with us both changing into the friend that she's going out for long drives with, new interests - going to a psychic, alternative therapies, all stuff that she used to knock. And the sex changes of course. You kind of sense it....what I bitterly regret is that I didn't jump on it and respond when I still had the chance......


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## wow15 (Mar 15, 2012)

Yeah I know what you mean, but now that I see how she is really like I feel happy that things are over. Of course I still love her but in a way I’m starting to hate her guts. I’ve told her that too. She’s been acting like such a $lut I just can’t believe I actually married her.


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## phaber6 (Mar 15, 2012)

yeah, she's destroyed the respect you used to have for her.


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## wow15 (Mar 15, 2012)

I don’t respect her one bit. I used to think she was so pure and now She seems so worthless to me.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Ok need some info here.

How long were you married? 

How old is the baby? 

Is the divorce final? Or has it just started?

Did you and your wife only have one car? 



wow15 said:


> In the beginning it was good you know, we were in love and about to have a baby. But she tells me she doesn’t know when she felt "out of love" with me. I don’t think I can get custody of her because I’m unemployed, moved back with my mother and she left me with no money or car. She was my everything; I gave her all my time and affection. I was so in love I rejected all my friends and now I have no one.


How long have you been unemployed? Are you getting unemployment income?

You should be able to get 50% custody of your child. Most states would rather have 50/50 custody as they recognize the importance of the both parents in the child’s life.

There are two kinds of custody… legal custody and physical custody. Legal custody means that the persons with legal custody make the decisions about the child such as which schools she attends, which doctor, gives consent to medical procedures, etc. Physical custody means who the child lives with. 

You need to get 50/50 both legal and physical custody. With 50/50 physical custody you can have your daughter with you half of the time.

The fact that you live with your mother makes it more likely that you would get 50% custody because you have someone to help you with your child. Grandmothers are great for that. 

Your wife has no more authority over your daughter than you do . She cannot keep your daughter away from you. With her being 

such a cheater, you might want to do a DNA test on your daughter to make sure she is your biological daughter. Even if she is not your bio daughter, by law she is your daughter because she was born when you were married to her mother.

If your wife makes more than you do, she might have to pay you child support. 

Now that you vented and got all this anger and hurt out here… allow yourself to wallow in it for a day. Then start fighting for your daughter. Find out the laws in your state. Find a legal aid place that will help you out since you are low income. And fight 50% custody. It’s highly unlikely you can get 100% custody just as your wife most likely cannot get 100% custody. But with 50% you can have a great influence in her life.

If the divorce is in progress you might also be able to get interim spousal support from your wife depending on if you get unemployment and how much she makes.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

phaber6 said:


> Its the pattern....the friend network is all hers, when she goes it goes with her. This is where I am, very few social contacts, a small, fractured family, leading a very solitary life and trying to cope with everything that has happened. She's out there having a very busy social time, I'm trying to decide whether to contact any of the people we used to see as a couple....that they don't contact me is discouraging. And the ex wouldn't like it. Getting something started socailly is a real hard one for the guys.....
> 
> How far into the marriage dis it start to go bad?


Do you have children? If you do look for an organization called "Parents Without Partners" in your area. That's where my ex met his new wife.

Do you enjoy sports? If so join a sports team. There are ways to make friends. Find things you like to do and join groups that do that.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

wow15 said:


> I really don’t know, I always thought things were okay, she never really complained. Then two weeks ago we are having dinner and she starts talking about how she has lost herself and that she is not happy and doesn’t love me. It just happened so fast.


Wait, she was cheating like crazy and you thought every thing was ok?


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## wow15 (Mar 15, 2012)

We’ve been married for about 3 years and 7 months. My daughter is three and will be 4 in November. We haven’t filed for a divorce yet. This has all happened in the span of 2 weeks. And yes we only have one car but it’s under her name. I’ve been unemployed for a little over a month now and I’m not receiving unemployment. I don’t know how I’m going to do all of this when I have no money.


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## wow15 (Mar 15, 2012)

It was emotionally cheating not physical but I was so in love that I looked past it just to try and make it work. after we split she started sleeping around.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

wow15 said:


> We’ve been married for about 3 years and 7 months. My daughter is three and will be 4 in November. We haven’t filed for a divorce yet. This has all happened in the span of 2 weeks. And yes we only have one car but it’s under her name. I’ve been unemployed for a little over a month now and I’m not receiving unemployment. I don’t know how I’m going to do all of this when I have no money.


Don't you qualify for unemployment?

You could go to school. Since you have no income and a dependent child you will get a lot of financial aid. What would you like to do? One type of financial aid is federal work study. They give you a job on campus while you go to school. This decreases the amount of student loans you will need. You will also get grants... there is a $4500 a year Pell Grant, your school should have other grants and scholarships for people in your situation.

What do you do?

1) Apply for some kind of training or school that will get you financal aid so you have some income and increase your ability to get work.

2) Job hunt like it's a full time job either until you get a new job or you start school/training.

3) Contact a legal aid program to get legal aid. You file for divorce ASAP so that you can start to see your daughter.

4) Do research on the divorce and custody laws in your state. You can even represent yourself. Most courts have self help web sites and even sometimes staff who can help you with the paper work.

You get busy, that's what you do.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

wow15 said:


> It was emotionally cheating not physical but I was so in love that I looked past it just to try and make it work. after we split she started sleeping around.


You learned something very important for your next relationship. EA's are not acceptable and you have to put down hard boundaries for what you will and will not accept.


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## wow15 (Mar 15, 2012)

in the time i that i was married i tried going to school twice and had to drop out because i needed to work more so i owe money already and dont know if i can get any more loans or grants. thanx for all the help.


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## wow15 (Mar 15, 2012)

:/


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