# Overtly effiminate husband



## angiewatson17 (Jan 7, 2012)

I married my then slightly effiminate husband 20 yrs ago it was my second marriage. About 5 yrs into our marriage he became seriously ill with chrons disease resulting in him becoming a stay at home househusband. I didn’t mind as I was earning enough to keep us both. He quickly become proficient at all the domestic chores but slowly became overtly effiminate. He eventually moved out of our bedroom as he was up and down a lot in the night, that coupled with the medication has resulted in no sex between us for over 10 yrs.

About 7 yrs ago I had an affair with a colleague that lasted over a year. It ended when he was promoted and moved away. Subsequently I have had a couple of flings with Alpha male types and am currently engaged in another one. My concern is my husband must know, there’s no way he can’t not know in fact he almost encourages my extra marital activities.

If I’m going out he fusses around like a mother hen even if I’m just going out with girl friends. He seems to love it he’ll ask me what I’m going to wear, offer alternatives iron it if it’s required lay my clothes,underware out on the bed even paint my finger toe nails even offering to help me dress! He loves it!. Should I be honest with him?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Why haven't you left him?


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## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

Why aren't you having sex with him ? Meds issues ? 

Did he move out of the bedroom during the time of your first affair ?

Look its obvious you don't love him.. I would tell him, but just make sure he won't snap and kill you.. Because it almost sounds like he would.. 

Because if he knows then he is willingly living in denial because you didn't actually tell him.. If he doesn't hear it from you it's not happening.. But when he hears the truth of reality ringing in his ears from you ?

But you need to say something.. Maybe he is okay with it and is one of those guys that is just happy he isn't living in a SRO and you didn't cut him loose sooner.. Maybe he came to peace with it and realized you have needs and because of his illness, he cannot provide for those needs, let alone financially.. 

But you have to be ready that he really might be blind to it all and you might ultimately crush him.. 

I wish there was a way to "test the waters" without really asking him.. 

I mean don't get me wrong I feel for you in some small way.. But your post sucks balls because your masking your affair behind an insult to your husband.. It does sound like your trying to justify the affair(s) and as you will come to learn quickly here.. 

There is no excuse for an affair..


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## BioFury (Jul 9, 2015)

Thats messed up.


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## angiewatson17 (Jan 7, 2012)

Just re-read my post and it didn’t really come across as I wished it to.

Chrons is a terrible debilitating disease, he has been really I’ll with it and hospitalised twice. I will always be there for him.

My concern is he seems happy being my friend and housekeeper and his overtly effiminate ways make me feel he’s not telling me something and thus not happy in himself. Last Christmas we spent together alone it was OK but if I’m honest I was bored. My lover invited me to spend New Years Eve with him at a nice hotel. I made an excuse of staying with friends and he was great about it even buying me a sexy nightie in there sales saying That he knew I had nothing to wear night time wise.

I have no complaints I have the lifestyle many women might love, I can come and go as I please, my home is kept beautifully, anything I take off is washed ironed and ready for me to wear almost immediately I don’t have to lift a finger at home my concern is him and his happiness is he being who he wishes to be?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Is there a chance that he might be having a relationship on the side? Since you are gone a lot, it would give him plenty of time. That might be way he is so pleased and helpful when you are going out.

Have you looked into this possibility?


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Angie,
He's probably gay. And he almost certainly knows you are outsourcing sex. And he certainly seems happy for you that you are having fun sexually.

It sounds like you two are compatible other then sexually. And that's ok. 

In a way, this is a much more constructive approach to the situation than we normally see. 

Typically the person in your situation is climbing the walls in frustration and resentment and their parents lies and denies about why the marriage is sexless. 

The truth is that if he's healthy enough to cook, clean and so forth he is also healthy enough to have sex. 





angiewatson17 said:


> Just re-read my post and it didn’t really come across as I wished it to.
> 
> Chrons is a terrible debilitating disease, he has been really I’ll with it and hospitalised twice. I will always be there for him.
> 
> ...


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Yikes. This is bad. Really bad.

You need counseling, pronto. So does he.

And you need a good mediator who will help you divorce amicably.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

MFC1583 said:


> Please tell me you don't have kids! There's a special place in he!l for people like you..



_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

MFC1583 said:


> Please tell me you don't have kids! There's a special place in he!l for people like you..


Wow that's ridiculous.

OP if you are happy and he is happy, maybe there is no problem. 

It's only if you both have a deep yearning for a permanent sexual loving full time relationship that it might be a problem. 

I think maybe you should send him an email and ask him if he's happy. Let him know you won't judge him etc. that's if you really want to know. 

Normally I'd say that it wasn't healthy etc however life's not simple- no black and white situations.


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## The Cro-Magnon (Sep 30, 2012)

> I have no complaints I have the lifestyle many women might love


Yeah, I bet you don't



> I can come and go as I please, my home is kept beautifully, anything I take off is washed ironed and ready for me to wear almost immediately I don’t have to lift a finger at home my concern is him and his happiness is he being who he wishes to be?


lol yeah your concern is veritably palpable. I'm sure you lay in bed with your latest Alpha, post coitus, and talk with him about how worried you are about your husband's happiness with the Alpha's semen still dripping out of you.

I am glad this is just a traffic generating "creature under the bridge" thread otherwise my jimmies might truly be ruffled. Thanks for the laugh regardless


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## The Cro-Magnon (Sep 30, 2012)

Bugged said:


> Yes, honesty is always the best choice.
> As for leaving him, why would you? I mean if he's ok with it and you have a sahH/butler/best buddy at home, who I'm sure you love in a way...well that sounds good to me..maybe not traditional but still...>>


Oh look, it's Bugged again. Who'da thunk it. Noice post. Choice. 3 thumbs up. Awsuhm. Great human. Love the grinning smilies to cap it off. It's all a laugh, right? Gives me hope for mankind, and fortifies my trust in females.

LOL this should be posted in the "cuckold" sub forum. Oh, that's right, there isn't one yet. Perhaps the Sistahood should get onto that


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

MEM11363 said:


> Angie,
> He's probably gay.


Aye I'm surprised it took a few posts for someone to mention it!

It's so obvious!

OP, your husband is your gay best friend! Or your male 'girlfriend'!


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

If this post is real, what are you afraid of it you are completely honest? He sounds quite content with the arrangement.

Are you having affairs with married men?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Cuckholding house husband...dime a dozen kind of erotic story. I don't get the appeal but different strokes and all. 

You haven't had sex with your husband for 10 years? Really 10 years? Have you ever talked to him about the lack of sex?

Looks like a duck, quacks like a duck... I think he's gay too. Even if he is gay, he doesn't even want gay sex?

There is no way he doesn't know what you're doing. Not a snowballs chance in hell he doesn't know. If he doesn't bring it up, I see no reason why you should. Perhaps, since he clearly doesn't mind you going out and even buys you lingerie to wear for other people, he likes things just as they are.


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## nirvana (Jul 2, 2012)

angiewatson17 said:


> Just re-read my post and it didn’t really come across as I wished it to.
> 
> Chrons is a terrible debilitating disease, he has been really I’ll with it and hospitalised twice. I will always be there for him.
> 
> ...


Was he effeminate before you married him? If so, Were you okay with that behavior?

What exactly does he do that is effeminate, fuss over you like mother hen, talk about clothes all the time, that kind of thing?

I know someone whose 6 year old son is that way. He wants to play ONLY with girls (my daughter is a year older) and at home he plays dress up by himself with his mother's clothes and when he comes over, he begins to look for my daughter's dolls. He does not want to play anything else, even sometimes my daughter does not want to play dolls but he does. Sorry for OT, but maybe this is something that cannot be changed.

As MEM says, he might be gay and happy that you are not pestering him for sex. He just wants to have someone around him as "family" but is okay if she is sleeping around elsewhere. I don't think this is healthy you have to tell him and break it off.


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## Sure that could work (Jun 9, 2015)

angiewatson17 said:


> Just re-read my post and it didn’t really come across as I wished it to.
> 
> Chrons is a terrible debilitating disease, he has been really I’ll with it and hospitalised twice. I will always be there for him.
> 
> ...


What exactly does your husband do when you go out? Does he just stay at home? Does he also go out? Does he have a group of friends? He cannot just be your maid and then what.....watches soap operas and eats bon-bons while you are out? Are you his only social outlet?

Do you think he knows what you really do when you go out? How much would it hurt a critically ill man to know his wife was cheating on him? Only you know those answers. Yes honesty is always the best answer but in this case maybe not so much. If telling him the truth even if he actually does know the truth in his heart would turn his world upside down to where he felt he had to do something I would leave it alone. He probably considers his situation with you better then without you. If he is faced with the truth in words even if he knows the truth in his heart would it break his heart?

Hopefully you can get what I am trying to say out of that mess......


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

I'm agreeing that something smells a little fishy here.... 
But.. just incase this is a real situation, and you are truly asking.. I'd say you need to have a sit-down talk with the man.

Tell him what a 'friend' you've been to him,... and what a 'friend' you've been to other males at your work.

You've got to come clean.. if you are wanting to "keep up" this lifestyle. Let him know what's been going on, how you feel, etc.

Let *him* decide if he's happy being your house-b ithch. Oh.. sorry, your un-paid housekeeper.


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## nirvana (Jul 2, 2012)

Women DO NOT respect house husbands. Plain and simple. I hear the comments that women in my circle make about such husbands. In open fora, many say they are okay with it, but deep down, very few want their husbands do be house husbands. Maybe 0.1%. 

Men, don't be fooled. Go out and bring home the bacon.


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