# I haven't had sex in 2 weeks. Frustrated Woman



## bestwife (May 10, 2014)

Hi everyone, My hubby has been stressed a lot because of work lately. I try to be there for him and comfort him in every way I can when he gets home. He knows that and appreciates it. We haven't had sex in over 15 days because he is stressed so much all the time. He just doesn't get in the mood anymore. While I worry about him a lot because of this, I really feel this need to have sex as I haven't had it in the past 2 weeks now. What do you people suggest I should do? Any ideas?

I know that for someone is this little problem but when you are having sex atleast 1 time per 2 days, this looks like a big problem for me.

I found this kinds of resolution:
1. Told him to quit that job or take long vacation.
2. Kill his boss :rofl:


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

How is your sex life in general? How old are you two? Is there an end to the stress in sight? And do you have any sex toys?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

It's all relative... and yes stress does this sometimes. Work together at getting his stress levels back down. And if this is becoming a common thing plan some lifestyle changes together.


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## Noble1 (Oct 25, 2013)

Not sure if I can add anything useful for now, but I find that sex helps me get rid of stress.


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## fightforher (Dec 4, 2013)

bestwife said:


> Hi everyone, My hubby has been stressed a lot because of work lately. I try to be there for him and comfort him in every way I can when he gets home. He knows that and appreciates it. We haven't had sex in over 15 days because he is stressed so much all the time. He just doesn't get in the mood anymore. While I worry about him a lot because of this, I really feel this need to have sex as I haven't had it in the past 2 weeks now. What do you people suggest I should do? Any ideas?
> 
> I know that for someone is this little problem but when you are having sex atleast 1 time per 2 days, this looks like a big problem for me.
> 
> ...


How long do you / him think that this stress at his job is going to last? Is it a temporary thing (like when a project ends the stress will be off)? Or is this a new job. Is the stress a result of being promoted. I just want to get a base if this is temporary or now a part of life for you two.


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## ReidWright (May 15, 2014)

are you initiating and he's declining? or are you waiting for him to make a move?

is he bring work home (working on laptop, conf calls, etc), or just late hours?


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Depression sounds likely to me. Stress does that to you. Totally tense 24/7. Not a good idea. I would have a decent health and depression screening.


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## bestwife (May 10, 2014)

PBear: Thank you for trying to help me. Our sex life in general was great, we tried almost everything. We are both around 30 years old.

Lon: What do you mean by :getting his stress levels back down. You mean something like Yoga ? 

fightforher: This stress session is most long ever. He came home frustrated, maybe something doesn t go well in his job. He is working there for a long time around 5 years.

john117: Should I ask him to go to the doctor? or what do you think?


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

I mean find out what in life is causing the unusually high stress level and remove it.


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## I Don't Know (Oct 8, 2013)

Have you tried coming on to him? Try giving him a nice back rub and go down on him. An hour of you taking care of him could lead to him returning the favor. A nice sex session and feeling extremely loved by you could help him relax and de-stress a little bit.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

We bought a great massage table on Amazon(around $85). When either my wife or I are really stressed, we ask the other for a "special massage"...and we unfold the table and put the sheets on it. It really helps to relieve stress, gets us in touch with each other, and ALWAYS leads to some very sexy activities. It works in our house. Just my opinion.


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## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

Any chance he can get a long weekend? 

What does he say when you tell him you are in the mood?


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

What is he doing to handle and manage the stress? Exercise, meditation, massage, a nice walk are all things that can help. What steps is he taking now?


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

the obvious thing is to take matter into your own hands (ahem!) while he's preoccupied with this stress cycle, but I bet you've tried to do that already.

Can you do yourself and relieve the stress? My wife can't do herself so maybe you're in that category.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Which brings up another idea. That is; ok he's totally stressed out and not into sex and probably can't even get the darn thing up.
I understand and sympathize.

But can he maybe just try some non-piv intimacy and try to do some hand sex with you?

Can you ask him? Maybe the best thing under the circumstances.

BTW, if this continues on for too long, then he needs to look for another job. This can affect his health.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

I dont care if Im on my deathbed, if my wife wants a good thumping, Im in!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

Stress makes me difficult to approach to be honest (I'm male btw), sometimes my wife would just be unrelenting in her attempts to sooth me, usually started with a head massage which I just loved but soon that led to me breaking down and going with it, usually that led to making love.

Keep at it


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

For many of us stress is a libido killer. When you're mind is going 100mph trying to resolve issues at work, family issues, financial issues etc. thoughts of sex can get squeezed out. Those who are better at compartmentalizing can put those thoughts out of their mind long enough to enjoy sex however not everyone can.

If it's short term I would look at touch, as in back massages, caresses, hugs, kisses etc. to stear his mind to sex. If it's longer term he may need to seek out strategies to deal with it or alter his circumstances to get away from it.


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## fightforher (Dec 4, 2013)

bestwife said:


> PBear: Thank you for trying to help me. Our sex life in general was great, we tried almost everything. We are both around 30 years old.
> 
> Lon: What do you mean by :getting his stress levels back down. You mean something like Yoga ?
> 
> ...


Hum, can you find out more about what is causing his stress level? Is he "under fire" at work. Did something change in the organization? Did somebody increase his work load?

Has this happened before? If it did, how long did the stress last?

Ask him more about what is going on at work. I suggest this for two reasons. 1) By trying to understand more about his work situation you two will connect more. and 2) By giving him a "sounding board" it will help him to see what is really stressing him out. And perhaps he can put the stressful items in perspective. Be careful to not offer suggestions, just listen and paraphrase what he tells you back to him. I doubt he wants "solutions." But he may be receptive to somebody that listens to him and sounds like she understands.

How forceful are you about initiating sex? How aggressive are you when it comes to letting him know you want sex? You have got a lot of suggestions about giving him a massage and such, have you tried these?


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## bestwife (May 10, 2014)

I Don't Know: I tried almost everything. You know when you have few years same standart (i mean in frequency) in your sexually life and now is nothing in that field, I am little bit nervous.

I Notice The Details: Sent me please link to PM, I want look in to it! 

indiecat: He came home and he immediatly go to the bed (sleep), I don t have any time to tell him about my mood.

okeydokie: You look like my husband 

fightforher: I will ask him today where exact is the problem and I will let you know. I will tell him that I need him and I am curious what he tell. Fingers crossed !


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

You might be surprised, if he agrees to a little non-piv fun with pressure off to perform, he might find it relaxing and take his mind off the crazy job situation.

tell him no sex, just a bit of relaxing fun. 

remember to be supportive, reassure him, compliment him if anything feels nice.


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## fightforher (Dec 4, 2013)

bestwife said:


> I Don't Know: I tried almost everything. You know when you have few years same standart (i mean in frequency) in your sexually life and now is nothing in that field, I am little bit nervous.
> 
> I Notice The Details: Sent me please link to PM, I want look in to it!
> 
> ...


Is he coming home late from work? And is he leaving around the usual time for work?

I get the impression your guys communication is going down too far. It sounds like you don't talk much, he does not spend time with you to find out about your day. If this is the case, the all these "snuggling up to him and being non sexual but give him a massage" type stuff is going to be rather difficult. If he just comes home and goes to bed, wakes up and goes to work. Work is then consuming him. Are weekends consumed by work too? This has been going on for 16 days now, that means two weekends have gone by. Was he working on the weekends?

If you guys can't get time to talk about it, then it is going to difficult for you to get the point across that this is very important.

Have you thought about writing a note to describe how you feel, how important it is for you to connect, and that you miss sex with him?


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

MaritimeGuy said:


> For many of us stress is a libido killer.


I just do not understand that at all. When I am super stressed out, I just think "wow, when I get home Im gonna bone my babe". The stress in some ways accentuates the sex. (and I DO have a super stressful job, have to be "creative on demand").

I think some people need to take a chill pill...what is so stressful? Is some guy gonna shoot you on the way home? Or is the boss just gonna be pissed off? He/she will get over it! LOL


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Not so easy for some people. If the boss pays a ton of money they buy your soul period...

I have sacrificed serious income opportunities to avoid 80 hour weeks (or 40 hour weeks :lol


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

dfhsjhu said:


> How is your sex life in general? [ I m g ]http://fashionold.com/hu5l.jpg[ / I m g ]


If you quote this guy's post, there is an image imbedded in it that does how show up .. I had to put spaces in the img tags to show them.

There are been several posters of late posting this sort of things. What is the side effect of this kind of image?


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

murphy5 said:


> I just do not understand that at all. When I am super stressed out, I just think "wow, when I get home Im gonna bone my babe". The stress in some ways accentuates the sex. (and I DO have a super stressful job, have to be "creative on demand").
> 
> I think some people need to take a chill pill...what is so stressful? Is some guy gonna shoot you on the way home? Or is the boss just gonna be pissed off? He/she will get over it! LOL


We all respond to things differently. I wish I could be more relaxed and not worry about things so much. Intellectually I realize I've got things pretty good. I don't choose to have my gut in knots because the boss wasn't happy with how I performed on a particular project or how am I going to pay for that needed home repair...it just happens. I envy people who can just let it go and not worry about it.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

murphy5 said:


> I just do not understand that at all. When I am super stressed out, I just think "wow, when I get home Im gonna bone my babe". The stress in some ways accentuates the sex. (and I DO have a super stressful job, have to be "creative on demand").
> 
> I think some people need to take a chill pill...what is so stressful? Is some guy gonna shoot you on the way home? Or is the boss just gonna be pissed off? He/she will get over it! LOL


you and your babe have a nice little system going on. Riding that stress for immaculate sex. I know how it feels. Make her feel appreciated, but don't over do it, being aware of some of the MMSL stuff.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

bestwife said:


> Hi everyone, My hubby has been stressed a lot because of work lately. I try to be there for him and comfort him in every way I can when he gets home. He knows that and appreciates it. We haven't had sex in over 15 days because he is stressed so much all the time. He just doesn't get in the mood anymore. While I worry about him a lot because of this, I really feel this need to have sex as I haven't had it in the past 2 weeks now. What do you people suggest I should do? Any ideas?
> 
> I know that for someone is this little problem but when you are having sex atleast 1 time per 2 days, this looks like a big problem for me.
> 
> ...



Wow, 15 days of no sex? Yikes. I had sex only 1x month for 15 years.....

When I get stressed from work, I either go on the computer, do some landscaping, weight train or want sex. Sex is the best option for me because it totally relaxes me and I feel great for the next day.

He could be a lower sex drive guy, LD. Where as you are a higher sex drive lady, HD. He could have sex 1 - 2x month. You could have sex 3 - 4x week, yes?

Take the 5 love languages quiz and compare results. Your main love languages might be something you never expected.

Home | The 5 Love Languages®

Find out what your hubbs fantasies are and totally surprise him. If he views porn, find out what he likes. Wait for him in the shower as a sex surprise before he goes to work. Dress up. Tie him down, blind fold, feathers, oils, and toys. Think of something different to try every week.

Thing is, a LD spouse will never have the sex drive of a HD spouse and vise versa. My wifee was LD for 15 or so years, lost weight and now has an average sex drive, up to 3x week, but she is still not HD like me. You may just have to deal with him being LD and there isn't much you can really do and just buy some toys for yourself.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

some of the best stress relievers I have found:
Join a boxing gym and work a heavy bag
go hiking up a mountain
go to the shooting range and blast away with a big handgun
go fishing along a river/stream
lift some heavy weights at the gym
Do a kettlebell workout outside


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

Anti-Stress Exercise:

1. Picture yourself near a stream.

2. Birds are chirping in the crisp, cool mountain air.

3. Nothing can bother you here. No one knows this secret place.

4. You are in total seclusion from that place called "the world."
The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a
cascade of serenity.

5. The water is clear.

6. You can easily make out the face of the person whose head
you're holding under water.

7. There now......feeling better?


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## bestwife (May 10, 2014)

Guys, I really appreciate your help. Thank you for your all tips. Thank you for that url too: Home | The 5 Love Languages® Its looks good.
But I will tell you what happened. I talked with my husband when he came home yesterday and I told him about how I m frustrated, he told me that he want sex too but he must focus on work now:scratchhead: ( He can t find 10min for sex?), and told me they have deadline 5.6 in work so I must wait.

He could be serious about that? Or he punishing me for something?


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## fightforher (Dec 4, 2013)

bestwife said:


> Guys, I really appreciate your help. Thank you for your all tips. Thank you for that url too: Home | The 5 Love Languages® Its looks good.
> But I will tell you what happened. I talked with my husband when he came home yesterday and I told him about how I m frustrated, he told me that he want sex too but he must focus on work now:scratchhead: ( He can t find 10min for sex?), and told me they have deadline 5.6 in work so I must wait.
> 
> He could be serious about that? Or he punishing me for something?


What!! So you are going to have to wait 5.6 weeks for sex? No way should this be that scheduled. Something is not right here.

It does not make sense that having sex for even an hour should mess up a 5.6 week schedule to miss the deadline. Surely you can afford to skip a meal and chow down a energy bar.

On top of that, after the 5.6 week deadline will the next project have a 8 week deadline? Are you going to scheduled to having sex between projects?

I would have to question this a lot. I understand work takes a lot of time, and when things are in a time crunch it is hard to think about other things. But everybody takes a break within the next 5.6 weeks.

I hate to be blunt, but I really think that he does not want sex all that much. As humans, we find ways to do what we want.

I feel sorry for you. I wish you well in confronting him again and pushing him for answers and pushing him into the mood.


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## seahorse (Apr 10, 2010)

fightforher is correct

Good luck
-seahorse




fightforher said:


> What!! So you are going to have to wait 5.6 weeks for sex? No way should this be that scheduled. Something is not right here.
> 
> It does not make sense that having sex for even an hour should mess up a 5.6 week schedule to miss the deadline. Surely you can afford to skip a meal and chow down a energy bar.
> 
> ...


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

Is he so busy that he wouldn't have time for a stress reducing massage from you?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I Notice The Details said:


> Is he so busy that he wouldn't have time for a stress reducing massage from you?


How about some details on that massage bed. I have been dealing with a lot of stress lately and, shamefully, have not been molesting Mrs. Conan nearly as much as her sexy little body calls for.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

We bought a table like this from Amazon and love it. The quality is excellent. We bought the blue one. We then ordered fitted sheets from Massage Warehouse online. 

Amazon.com: BestMassage Two Fold Burgundy Portable Massage Table: Health & Personal Care


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I Notice The Details said:


> We bought a table like this from Amazon and love it. The quality is excellent. We bought the blue one. We then ordered fitted sheets from Massage Warehouse online.
> 
> Amazon.com: BestMassage Two Fold Burgundy Portable Massage Table: Health & Personal Care


Thanks for the info. If it isn't TMI, do you two have sex on it while it is running? Or does it just warm you up into the mood easier?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Whoops!!! Just realized the table wasn't mechanized !!! LOL!!!!


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

It's entirely possible he feel's that for the duration of the project he will not be able to give you adequate attention in the bedroom. I think for both your sakes he should find a way to take his mind off work and be intimate with you. It doesn't have to be 4 hour swinging from the chandeliers type sessions but at least something gentle and loving. It will be good for both of you.

Then once the project is completed take a long weekend just for yourselves...and make sure those chandeliers are firmly anchored.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Having hard time, no pun, wrapping my head around this since the number one stress reliever for most men is sex. That said are you initiating and seducing? Lingerie, newly bought, candles, maybe steak dinner ahead, followed by massage and then a bj to get him in the mood?

If you are wanting him to initiate sex it's basically giving him another thing to do. So try taking control of the whole situation and see how that plays out


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## fightforher (Dec 4, 2013)

bestwife,

Any luck? Any breaks in the schedule? Are you still scheduled to have sex on July 9th at 9:37 pm?


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## johny1989 (May 21, 2014)

Well I heard that if you want stressful mind and life then you should have to do sex regularly so I think you should have to tell him to have a sex so may be after having sex he feel better and feel refreshing so first of all convince him to have a sex and if its not work then you think about to quite the job and kill his boss etc...


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