# Ironic story with a bit of a poll



## jelly_bean (Sep 23, 2014)

Okay this story will take some real reading to get the whole Jerry Springer moment.

So my cheating husband tells me a story last night about a female friend of his OW who is having an affair with another woman. We will call her Julie for ease of this story. Julie is now leaving her husband for this other woman. To make it more confusing the other woman is actually Julie' sister wife of 12 years. WORST PART is the husband doesn't know yet.

Ironic part is my husband is telling his OW that she needs to tell the spouse what is going on. Ironic cause he doesn't feel the same need to tell her husband about their affair. Loser!

Poll part now....would it be worse to be left for the other sex?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

jelly_bean said:


> Okay this story will take some real reading to get the whole Jerry Springer moment.
> 
> So my cheating husband tells me a story last night about a female friend of his OW who is having an affair with another woman. We will call her Julie for ease of this story. Julie is now leaving her husband for this other woman. To make it more confusing the other woman is actually Julie' sister wife of 12 years. WORST PART is the husband doesn't know yet.
> 
> ...


Sister wife?? Say what??? Really a sister wife? Oh.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

MattMatt said:


> Sister wife?? Say what??? Really a sister wife? Oh.


I sort of stumbled on that as well, but I think she may have meant to say "sister's wife"...?


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## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

jelly_bean said:


> Okay this story will take some real reading to get the whole Jerry Springer moment.
> 
> So my cheating husband tells me a story last night about a female friend of his OW who is having an affair with another woman. We will call her Julie for ease of this story. Julie is now leaving her husband for this other woman. To make it more confusing* the other woman is actually Julie' sister wife of 12 years.* WORST PART is the husband doesn't know yet.
> 
> ...


Do you mean the two women who are cheating with each other are also both married to the same man? Or did you leave an s off sister and the woman Julie is cheating with is in a same sex marriage with Julies sister? Or something I'm missing?

I have my own poll question: If two women are married to the same guy, and they're sleeping together, is that cheating? :scratchhead:


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> I sort of stumbled on that as well, but I think she may have meant to say "sister's wife"...?


Unless they are polygs?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BjornFree (Aug 16, 2012)

Only if they didn't invite me over for a little threeway before leaving.


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## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

http://youtu.be/4sJRkj9DP9Y


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## jelly_bean (Sep 23, 2014)

wow now I know the importance of proper punctuation.

Sister's wife...like gay marriage my bad LOL


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## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

jelly_bean said:


> wow now I know the importance of proper punctuation.
> 
> Sister's wife...like gay marriage my bad LOL


That's a little less outré. It's more fun to imagine it the other way. 

To answer your poll question, in my opinion no, it's not worse to be left for a same sex partner. Being abandoned is being abandoned, the knife is in your back one way or the other.


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## drifting on (Nov 22, 2013)

You lost me after "okay".


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## Retribution (Apr 30, 2012)

My answer. No. It's not worse either way. I've seen infidelity happen with same and opposite sex partners. It's a world of hurt either way.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Just because a spouse or significant other leaves for a member of the same sex that they are does not lessen the impact of infidelity and in absolutely no way serves to offer absolution to it!


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## convert (Oct 4, 2013)

I agree it makes little to know difference if they leave for a same sex person.

although sometimes I think it is a little worse when it is a same sex person because how can you compete with that. But then I remind myself that you should never compete period


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Your H still talks with OW?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

ConanHub said:


> Your H still talks with OW?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That was one of the other things that stuck out to me?????:scratchhead:

I don't think it would be any worse or better. Betrayal is betrayal.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

Why the F is your husband talking to you about ANYTHING with regards to the OW's life other than answering your specific affair related questions?

If I were to have stayed with my x-wife and she started talking about OM or his friends, etc, I'd have to stop her: "Stop right there, why the F would you think I'm interested in any stories about your OM, his friends, or his life? Why do you think I'd be interested in any of that?"


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## jelly_bean (Sep 23, 2014)

vellocet said:


> Why the F is your husband talking to you about ANYTHING with regards to the OW's life other than answering your specific affair related questions?
> 
> If I were to have stayed with my x-wife and she started talking about OM or his friends, etc, I'd have to stop her: "Stop right there, why the F would you think I'm interested in any stories about your OM, his friends, or his life? Why do you think I'd be interested in any of that?"


I am in the processes of separation, moved out a few weeks ago after 6 months of indecision. He is the OW boss so they work together and talk every day. He wasn't willing to let her go so I finally said enough and left. He says now it is purely professional but I don't believe him and finally found the strength to say enough is enough. My kids are devastated but time and counseling will help them.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

jelly, you ROCK!!!!

:allhail:


:gun: the bastard


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Inform the OWH.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Devastated an lost (Oct 29, 2014)

ConanHub said:


> Your H still talks with OW?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


ConanHub, I was thinking the same thing. That's the main thing I got out of this whole discussion.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

Devastated an lost said:


> ConanHub, I was thinking the same thing. That's the main thing I got out of this whole discussion.


You missed the part later on that she mentioned they were separated and working on D and moving on. At least she has moved on as he is unwilling to give up the OW, so it really doesn't matter at this point if he is till in contact, as it is known and in the open and she is moving on. What should she care if he is still talking to the OW, they are done?? I agree that it shouldn't matter (although it would have been nice to have this info in the OP to stop the amazement.


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## jelly_bean (Sep 23, 2014)

Squeakr said:


> You missed the part later on that she mentioned they were separated and working on D and moving on. At least she has moved on as he is unwilling to give up the OW, so it really doesn't matter at this point if he is till in contact, as it is known and in the open and she is moving on. What should she care if he is still talking to the OW, they are done?? I agree that it shouldn't matter (although it would have been nice to have this info in the OP to stop the amazement.


Yes I am moving on, now how do I get him to move on. Everyday he calls and texts me how he wants me back and our family back together. Meanwhile he texts her in the background how he misses her (they ended their affair cause she is married) and is asking her out. They are best friends which in case anybody is wondering it hurts a ton for your husband to turn his OW to his best friend. While we trying R he kept saying we are just friends, which is true but still wrong on so many levels. I just can't get him to understand. So I gave up and decided it is not my job to get him to understand, I was fighting a losing battle. Just sad the kids are collateral damage to all this.


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## Gonna Make It (Dec 3, 2012)

Back to the original poll, I would have rather she had cheated with a guy. Basically I feel like I suck so bad in bed that she switched sides.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

On a less serious note, I like women, I could see why she would like them. On the other hand basketball players, I hate them . . . .


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## lostmyreligion (Oct 18, 2013)

My wife tried on a relationship with her best friend for a while when they were both in college (long before I knew her). She'd had many boyfriends before that and many more between then and me. It was a one-off.

We talked about it at length. She said that she sometimes found women physically attractive, but that the sex was fundamentally different and that ultimately she preferred doing it with men. 

As a result, I mistakenly came to the conclusion that if she left me for a woman that it wouldn't be as bad as if she left me for a guy. Afterall, it's apples and oranges - how could I compete? She wouldn't just be rejecting me, she'd be rejecting all men.

Fast forward a couple of years. One of my closest friends tells me he's getting a vasectomy, even though he'd been married once wanting children and it had fallen apart before that could happen. Under closer questioning he told me that in fact his girlfriend of 3 1/2 yr hated having to use condoms and that she didn't want children. He was thinking of proposing so he'd convinced himself, at that point that neither did he. Both my wife and I advised him not to do it but he went ahead anyway.

3 months later she left him for her female lover that she'd been seeing, unknown to him, for the previous year. He'd had no idea she was bi.

I got bombed with him and he said he felt incredibly immasculated.

Actually he said "What the feck!?!? Am I such a shytey lover that she gave up on men altogether?" And he was stuck having to try to reverse the procedure if his next partner wanted kids.

I've since come to understand that it's not a competition. Betrayal is betrayal, cheating (EA or PA) is cheating. It's all incredibly destructive and loathsome behavior.

But still...


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

Nucking Futs said:


> Do you mean the two women who are cheating with each other are also both married to the same man? Or did you leave an s off sister and the woman Julie is cheating with is in a same sex marriage with Julies sister? Or something I'm missing?
> 
> I have my own poll question: If two women are married to the same guy, and they're sleeping together, is that cheating? :scratchhead:


If all parties know and agree to what is going on, it is NOT cheating.


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## jelly_bean (Sep 23, 2014)

So the overall vote is cheating is cheating and gender aside it sucks the same.

I feel for the poor husband in my story who just today found out his newlywed bride is leaving him for another person...gender aside.

His hell is just starting...


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

jelly_bean said:


> So the overall vote is cheating is cheating and gender aside it sucks the same.
> 
> I feel for the poor husband in my story who just today found out his newlywed bride is leaving him for another person...gender aside.
> 
> His hell is just starting...


Yep, but at least he has the bonus of getting out early before children, houses, and things that life bring are involved. They can both walk away relatively easy to rebuild without all the baggage to deal with. Wish I had been given that opportunity then, instead of the 16 years she waited to deal that blow to me.


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## jelly_bean (Sep 23, 2014)

Squeakr said:


> Yep, but at least he has the bonus of getting out early before children, houses, and things that life bring are involved. They can both walk away relatively easy to rebuild without all the baggage to deal with. Wish I had been given that opportunity then, instead of the 16 years she waited to deal that blow to me.


Not so lucky, just bought a house last month and they have a child. They were high school sweethearts that made it through teenage pregnancy to end up like this. 7 years together...damn itch gets you every time!


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

jelly_bean said:


> Not so lucky, just bought a house last month and they have a child. They were high school sweethearts that made it through teenage pregnancy to end up like this. 7 years together...damn itch gets you every time!


That sucks. Why does all of your pertinent information come out late. LOL I guess I am in the wrong as I was assuming that newlywed meant just that, instead of newly married. They have been together for some time and already have lives established together, just recently legally tied that up I guess. ow I feel sorry for the guy. I think I would be DNAing the kid(s) as it seems she hasn't really been faithful as was presumed.


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## jelly_bean (Sep 23, 2014)

Squeakr said:


> That sucks. Why does all of your pertinent information come out late. LOL I guess I am in the wrong as I was assuming that newlywed meant just that, instead of newly married. They have been together for some time and already have lives established together, just recently legally tied that up I guess. ow I feel sorry for the guy. I think I would be DNAing the kid(s) as it seems she hasn't really been faithful as was presumed.


You know until you said that it never occurred to me about the DNA test but that actually might be a good idea.

If I see him I will suggest it. God that would be the second kick in the nuts if she wasn't his. Thanks


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## Gonna Make It (Dec 3, 2012)

Pretty sure she is not the daughter of the girlfriend/ sisterinlaw. 

How is her sister taking the news her wife is cheating on her with her sister?


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## jelly_bean (Sep 23, 2014)

Gonna Make It said:


> Pretty sure she is not the daughter of the girlfriend/ sisterinlaw.
> 
> How is her sister taking the news her wife is cheating on her with her sister?


Not pretty from what I understand. Whole family is pretty pissed. Her husband is a sweet man and just dropped all his savings on her dream wedding just 9 months ago. Messed up!

I knew she was messed up already but Squeaker will get mad at me for not giving him all the scoop LOL Just kidding!


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Oh. Trigger time. My first LTR girlfriend left me for a woman.

It broke my heart so badly I never even bothered to date for several years. A married couple set me up on a blind date with a friend of theirs as they were so worried about me.

Their friend was very pretty had long legs, and dressed in fishnet stockings (with proper garter belts and suspenders!) but she was a bit nutty!

Still, my brief relationship with her got me back into dating.


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## Vanille (Dec 13, 2014)

Wow that's a wild story haha! Sounds like the people here, honestly. Girls sleeping with their female cousins while married to a man. The world is a crazy place.


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## lostmyreligion (Oct 18, 2013)

I was talking to my sister today after reading this thread and asked her what she thought. She reminded me that she had dated three guys in a row in her twenties, each of whom came out of the closet after about 6 months. 

She said it gave her a huge complex and didn`t date for a bit until she thought to re-assess what she believed she was attracted to. She`s been happily married for the 25 yrs since.


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## calmwinds (Dec 10, 2012)

Cheating is cheating, regardless of the gender of the AP. HOWEVER, I do believe a same-sex AP might make future relationships more difficult for the BS. It would already be difficult to trust a new relationship partner around the opposite sex, but this situation would bring anxiety to everyday situations involving same-sex friends!


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