# cheating husband...did i make the right choice by taking him back?



## Hbear (Aug 26, 2009)

I found out a few months ago that my husband has cheated on me 3 times (maybe more, who knows?!) in our 9 year relationship.

He'd given me two STDS and had known that he'd given me them weeks before i accidentally found out.

After a few weeks I let him move back in as we had a two week holiday coming up with our kids and I didnt want to let them down.

We've been getting on but there isn't a day that goes by when I dont think about how he's betrayed me and when I'm not with him i feel very insecure and I question whether Ive made the right decision.

I also dislike going out with him as he blatantly looks at other women even though he knows it makes me insecure.

I just feel very inadequate at the moment and my self esteem has hit rock bottom.

I also dont think he's making much of an effort, he used to send me little txs during the day to ask me how my day is etc but thats stopped and he never initiates sex.

He's adamant he wont cheat again and that he loves me, but I'm not so sure.

His parents are going through a nasty split and I cant help thinking that his reasons for wanting to move back with me and the kids was because he hated the thought of having to live with his warring parents.

I dont know whether I should kick him out again for good this time (even though we get on and still have a laugh) which will affect my young children yet again or do I stick with it and hope things get better.

Im 27 and hes all ive really known and Im scared that if I kick him out Ill never meet anyone else. 

Hes also very goor around the house, he cooks, cleans etc and hes very laid back when it comes to me going out. How many men are like him??


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

here is the short version:

no... you should not take him back.


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## Blonddeee (Dec 17, 2008)

:iagree:
Don't take him back out of the fear of being alone... even if you found someone half as good as him... it would be an improvement. He's cheated on you numerous times and not even used protection- he's putting his family in danger- what if you guys both got something there isn't a cure for?? He's a selfish jerk and you deserve better... there's a lot of men out there that cook and clean and let you have a life AND DON'T CHEAT... you need to find one of those guys. It's not like he came clean to you because he felt guilty... he got caught because of the stds...who knows if he would have ever tried to change if you hadn't caught him. You deserve better... it sounds harsh writitng this and I know it will be tough, but there are better men out there...


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

Well that's the list of all his bad points, can we get the list of his good ones so we can make a decision?

Or is there basically only this one list...


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## NothingMan (Jul 16, 2009)

Atholk said:


> Well that's the list of all his bad points, can we get the list of his good ones so we can make a decision?
> 
> Or is there basically only this one list...



He could be the pope with a bad list like that. I dont think there is a good list in the world that could redeem him. The only thing worse is if he came back pregnant too. That may be difficult.




John


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## shelleyv (Aug 13, 2009)

I think the obvious thing is he has cheated, more than once, and most probably will do it again. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Even if he promises to never do it again, you will always be suspicous and that is no way to live. Every time he comes home late, you will be wondering where he was etc etc. You deserve better and so do your kids. So you get along ok, and you have a laugh. Whose going to be laughing when you get AIDS one day, God forbid? He has betrayed your trust, he has selfishly put YOUR health at risk. I'm sorry, but if you love someone, you dont do that. You dont want to be with someone who doesnt care about you and your health. Stand up for yourself and show him the door. He will never change. Do it for yourself and the kids. He can still be a father to them, if he chooses to be, but you cant stay married to him. His thinking will be, "Oh well, so took me back - she will take me back again". Dont give him the luxury.


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