# An interesting visit with OMs' wife



## maincourse99 (Aug 15, 2012)

I decided to pay a visit to the wife of my wifes' AP. The possibility exists that my daughter will be spending time with him in the future, so I wanted to talk to her about her safety around him. Didn't expect her to tell me if he was a molester, but sometimes you can get a clue from someones' reaction to a direct question. Also, I was curious to get some background information on him and to see how his actions impacted his family and friends. Let me start by saying that my wife is 43, 5' 115lbs, asian, very attractive, and very physically active. I have met him pre-affair and he's a balding 57 yo guy about 5'6" and 40lbs overweight. Very non-descript. But what his wife told me blew me away. First, 4 years ago he had a stroke that left him with no nerve sensation in his right side, so he's constantly burning himself. He's deaf in one ear, has circulation issues in his legs and needs Cialis to perfom, been impotent for years. He's an alcoholic, generally ends his night with 2 bottles of fine Italian wine. He also has sleep apnea which requires the machine and mask every night to breath. My wife is going to love that, she's light a very light sleeper and stuffs 2 ear plugs in each ear even when there's silence. Financially, he signed the house over to his wife, he has no health insurance and is still paying the hospital for his stroke. He has a $200.00 credit card bill on a card he had to negotiate a settlement on. He has to pay $800.00 month for child support. His wife said that there have been times where he was unemployed for years while she worked 7 days a week to pay the mortgage. She told me he makes $50,000yr, my wife makes $8000.00. Adding up their rent (had to have an expensive loft, 3 beds, granite and high end appliances, he's driving a mercedes, must be trying to trick us all into thinking he's a 6 figure guy), and estimating all the other expenses, my guess is that they're at least a couple of hundred a month short. On top if that, my wife (not him) had to get a $2800.00 cash advance on her card to pay the up front expenses for the apartment, and they signed a 1 year lease and are on the hook for $15,000 with that. My wife is in extreme panic mode since even a financial moron like her can see they can't afford it, but she also can't afford to stay in her 1 room apartment alone either. Hence the call I get a few nights ago that she wants to come back. I really thought it would take 6-8 months for this to implode, but she surprised me and cut that in half. Kudos. As far as the wreckage on his side, none of his children speak to him, in fact his oldest son changed the locks on the house. His wife is in therapy and on 2 meds. It's only begun and i can't wait to watch the drama unfold. The night my wife called to ask to return home, one question made me chuckle. She asked, "You talked to his wife, do you think she would take him back?":rofl:


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## MrQuatto (Jul 7, 2010)

Just make sure she is coming back to work this out and not simply because her paycheck cant cover her bill.

That was my 1st impression and sounds like the road to an underground affair.

Q~


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## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

maincourse99 said:


> I decided to pay a visit to the wife of my wifes' AP. The possibility exists that my daughter will be spending time with him in the future, so I wanted to talk to her about her safety around him. Didn't her to tell me if he was a molester, but sometimes you can get a clue from someones' reaction to a direct question. Also, I was curious to get some background information on him and to see how his actions impacted his family and friends. Let me start by saying that my wife is 43, 5' 115lbs, asian, very attractive, and very physically active. I have met him pre-affair and he's a balding 57 yo guy about 5'6" and 40lbs overweight. Very non-descript. But what his wife told me blew me away. First, 4 years ago he had a stroke that left him with no nerve sensation in his right side, so he's constantly burning himself. He's deaf in one ear, has circulation issues in his legs and needs Cialis to perfom, been impotent for years. He's an alcoholic, generally ends his night with 2 bottles of fine Italian wine. He also has sleep apnea which requires the machine and mask every night to breath. My wife is going to love that, she's light a very light sleeper and stuffs 2 ear plugs in each ear even when there's silence. Financially, he signed the house over to his wife, he has no health insurance and is still paying the hospital for his stroke. He has a $200.00 credit card bill on a card he had to negotiate a settlement on. He has to pay $800.00 month for child support. His wife said that there have been times where he was unemployed for years while she worked 7 days a week to pay the mortgage. She told me he makes $50,000yr, my wife makes $8000.00. Adding up their rent (had to have an expensive loft, 3 beds, granite and high end appliances, he's driving a mercedes, must be trying to trick us all into thinking he's a 6 figure guy), and estimating all the other expenses, my guess is that they're at least a couple of hundred a month short. On top if that, my wife (not him) had to get a $2800.00 cash advance on her card to pay the up front expenses for the apartment, and they signed a 1 year lease and are on the hook for $15,000 with that. My wife is in extreme panic mode since even a financial moron like her can see they can't afford it, but she also can't afford to stay in her 1 room apartment alone either. Hence the call I get a few nights ago that she wants to come back. I really thought it would take 6-8 months for this to implode, but she surprised me and cut that in half. Kudos. As far as the wreckage on his side, none of his children speak to him, in fact his oldest son changed the locks on the house. His wife is in therapy and on 2 meds. It's only begun and i can't wait to watch the drama unfold. The night my wife called to ask to return home, one question made me chuckle. She asked, "You talked to his wife, do you think she would take him back?":rofl:


Effing hilarious! :rofl:


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Why the hell would you reconcile?

What's in it for you?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

affairs are fantasies, it's why most affairs when brought into the open don't last, reality sets in hard and fast. In this case it was painfully obvious that reality looked pretty bleak


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

tacoma said:


> Why the hell would you reconcile?
> 
> What's in it for you?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


has he said he was taking her back?


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## Feeling_bad (Aug 18, 2012)

Sounds to me like she wants back due to her financial situation. What was her reaction when you found out she was cheating. Did she just up and leave, or was she remorseful to you at all?


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

IF she does come back

1. No contact ever with OM
2. Total transparency
3. She will pay off her debt she incurred with OM - you won't pay a dime or sacrifice anything for it.
4. She goes to therapy to understand what she saw in such a wreck and looser.

Also if this guy drinks that much - has she started too?


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

No but he said she wants to and didn't give an answer

I wasn't admonishing him for assuming he wants to R I was just seeing if he's actually given rational thought to the pros and cons.

This stuff is waaaay emotional and many often find it difficult to be rational about it
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

Yes they normally affair down as the saying goes


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## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> IF she does come back
> 
> 1. No contact ever with OM
> 2. Total transparency
> ...


This


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

tacoma said:


> No but he said she wants to and didn't give an answer
> 
> I wasn't asmonishing him for assuming he wants to R I was just seeing if he's actually given rational thought to the pros and cons.
> 
> ...


for sure, the feeling of being plan B during R would be worse than most


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

You can now upgrade your previous 43 yo asian model to a 30 yo. Go visit the Far East. There are millions of them around.

Show her you can trade up.


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## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

What a prize she has there. No doubt she'll promise to move the world soon in order to get a 2nd chance with you.

Does the OMW want him back?


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

She needs therapy to help her figure out why she'd go for this guy.I feel like a therapist might tell her it's bc he's a loser and the underdog...she needed to feel needed maybe.she needed to be with someone who needed her more than she needed him?

that's how i see it if I had to make a guess.
Hopefully she has seen her way through the fog and is ready to make some serious changes.
Is there a way the two of you can live apart and work on things?Living apart while working on the marriage would prove that she wants you back bc she realizes she made a huge mistake and wants to fix it for the right reasons.If she wants you back because of financial backing or anything like that,she'll reject the idea of living separate while working on the marriage.


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## maincourse99 (Aug 15, 2012)

Exactly.


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## maincourse99 (Aug 15, 2012)

She had some remorse and guilt, not enough to prevent her from leaving.


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## maincourse99 (Aug 15, 2012)

She can't really drink much, but definitely does her best to keep up with him.


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## maincourse99 (Aug 15, 2012)

I'm saving for my trip to asia lol


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> IF she does come back
> 
> 1. No contact ever with OM
> 2. Total transparency
> ...


Thats a good start....








_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## maincourse99 (Aug 15, 2012)

Her APs' wife would probably take him back. Sad.


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## maincourse99 (Aug 15, 2012)

Scarlet Begonias, I honestly can't see a way she can live on her own. Your idea is a good one, but don't see how we could do it. I think it's time for me to move on.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

maincourse99 said:


> Scarlet Begonias, I honestly can't see a way she can live on her own. Your idea is a good one, but don't see how we could do it. I think it's time for me to move on.


 it's good to know your limits and know when to say enough is enough.I hope everything works out for you


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## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

maincourse99 said:


> Scarlet Begonias, I honestly can't see a way she can live on her own. Your idea is a good one, but don't see how we could do it. I think it's time for me to move on.


Maybe slowly continue with the divorce process, while watching her actions? If she busts her azz to make this right, would you give her another shot?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

In your 1st thread you mentioned your chick no longer has the hots for you.....again whats in it for you if you do take her back.

She left her kid, that has to say alot about her emotional state, if it was me your chic would need a year of theropy before I would consider it.

I think you should give it alot more time, I have a feeling it won't be long before she find another sugar daddy.....well scratch "another" .......


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## Kasler (Jul 20, 2012)

Come on people. She justs wants financial security because shes sees her inevitable homelessness. 

Don't reconcile with her under any circumstances. 

if OM had a home and cash she'd still be on his di*k.


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

maincourse99 said:


> Scarlet Begonias, I honestly can't see a way she can live on her own. Your idea is a good one, but don't see how we could do it. I think it's time for me to move on.


 Moving on is the smart decision. Maincourse99, as her husband you had a right to expect to be treated as the main-course in her life and not just a meal ticket.


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

She came back for the wrong reasons and you took her back just because she came back. Option #1 didn't work for her this time and I feel she's gonna be looking for option #2 in the not too distant future.

But some people need to be kicked in the gonads a couple of times before they learn from their mistakes.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

The description of OM would be funny if it weren't so painful. Re your WW, do you really want a woman who would prefer a homunculus like the OM? (This is something like the old Groucho Marx question.)


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## 67flh (Sep 26, 2011)

evn if you let her come back,she's going to have to get a second job. if she pays back the money she owes from the other rented house that's taking money from you. second job is for her to pay that money back.


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## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

alte Dame said:


> *The description of OM would be funny if it weren't so painful*. Re your WW, do you really want a woman who would prefer a homunculus like the OM? (This is something like the old Groucho Marx question.)


Dare I say it? Eff him. I suppose it's not nice to say but sometimes I'm not so nice.

Other times I'm a real peach


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## maincourse99 (Aug 15, 2012)

Thunderstruck, If she made a complete turnaround and took full resposibility and cut AP off completely, it's possible. Maybe a few weeks of MC. I have to feel safe letting her back into my home. She did have a momentary emotional episode 2 days ago asking to come back, but is now back to being "confused" and no doubt scared.


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## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

ScarletBegonias said:


> She needs therapy to help her figure out why she'd go for this guy.I feel like a therapist might tell her it's bc he's a loser and the underdog...she needed to feel needed maybe.she needed to be with someone who needed her more than she needed him?
> 
> that's how i see it if I had to make a guess.
> Hopefully she has seen her way through the fog and is ready to make some serious changes.
> Is there a way the two of you can live apart and work on things?Living apart while working on the marriage would prove that she wants you back bc she realizes she made a huge mistake and wants to fix it for the right reasons.If she wants you back because of financial backing or anything like that,she'll reject the idea of living separate while working on the marriage.


It's probably cause this guy pursued her. impersonated the perfect man. Told her exactly what she wanted to hear rather than needed to hear. He probably never told her no. IMO AP are like strip clubs they are great in the dark but once you turn the lights on, you just wanna come home.


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## maincourse99 (Aug 15, 2012)

The guy, lately she's been telling me she loves me after all. Not sure if I believe that at all. Therapy is key, and yes her AP is no sugar daddy!


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## maincourse99 (Aug 15, 2012)

So true, alte Dame. I almost think I'm in a dream. She was always attracted to tall handsome men who were quite a bit younger. I'm not young, 51 but look mid forties. 6'1" 180 athletic, all my hair, good teeth and absolutely no health problems. That she could be with him revolts me. He's smooth though, a real gourmand, wine consultant, and of course showers her with praise and compliments, which feeds her massive need for male validation. Guess I just didn't match that, but once he gets to know her level of self-absorbtion and the fact that she's completely disinclined to pull her weight financially, there could be some wild fights.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

maincourse99 said:


> Scarlet Begonias, I honestly can't see a way she can live on her own. Your idea is a good one, but don't see how we could do it. I think it's time for me to move on.


Could you send her here?


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

maincourse99 said:


> So true, alte Dame. I almost think I'm in a dream. She was always attracted to tall handsome men who were quite a bit younger. I'm not young, 51 but look mid forties. 6'1" 180 athletic, all my hair, good teeth and absolutely no health problems. That she could be with him revolts me. He's smooth though, a real gourmand, wine consultant, and of course showers her with praise and compliments, which feeds her massive need for male validation.


Puh-leeze.....I admired my grad school advisor, who was older, brilliant, elegant & worldly. He was also 5 and 1/2 feet tall & built like a fireplug. There was never any doubt that I wanted my 6-foot, well-built, handsome husband. It sounds like your wife's fog is worse than the standard dysfunctional delusion.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

Keep detaching, keep the divorce process going on, don't offer her R, short answers on the phone, hear her but don't offer validation or input. "I'm sorry you feel this way".
Remove yourself, quickly, as a back up plan. She needs to "feel" you are moving on without her. She has to needs to way more you needs/wants her.
If she ask for R, tell her to get help online to find out what it entails and ask herself if she can afford it. Tell her you don't believe you want her back.

What a hangover is waiting!

The 180 degree rules
Just Let Them Go


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

maincourse99 said:


> The guy, lately she's been telling me she loves me after all. Not sure if I believe that at all. Therapy is key, and yes her AP is no sugar daddy!


What she loves is the way you acted as her personal ATM for so many years!


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## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

*"...my wife is 43, 5' 115lbs, asian, very attractive, and very physically active*."

*"I have met him pre-affair and he's a balding 57 yo guy about 5'6" and 40lbs overweight. ...had a stroke that left him with no nerve sensation in his right side...deaf in one ear, has circulation issues in his legs and needs Cialis to perfom, been impotent for years. He's an alcoholic, ...has sleep apnea..."*

Kind of sounds like Florence Nightingale Syndrome.:banghead:

No, she's not his actual caregiver, but is she the "rescue" type?


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## Simon Phoenix (Aug 9, 2010)

As I wrote in a book I'm about to publish, you never take back someone who left you for someone else, especially if she only wants in because the real world is not matching up with the thrill and fantasies of their affair. It's not your fault that they are short on funds and their credit is shot. You simply don't bring garbage back into the house after taking it to the curb.

Now that their fun time has apparently come to a painful end, she thinks that she can just say 'I'm sorry' and reclaim the life she had with you, right? What better time to drop the hammer than right now? As one would trade in their beaten-up Ford for a brand new Mercedes, it's time to trade in the 43 yo for a newer, fresher model that's just sitting in the showroom, dying for you to give her a ride. That's the perfect way to let her know that she isn't the only one capable of getting somebody...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## maincourse99 (Aug 15, 2012)

Never know her to be the rescue type. I think he feeds her ego, worships and adores her.


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## maincourse99 (Aug 15, 2012)

Very good points, Simon


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

mc99, she has golddigger writen all over her. If she ain't no rescuer, then shes a user. Its all lip service brother and Simon has it nailed.
When you turn her down she will immediately find another host to latch on to. 

It would suprise me to see her struggle for a year as a single women going to 52 IC sessions and focus on getting you back

Do you see her excepting this kind of consequence?


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## Count of Monte Cristo (Mar 21, 2012)

Up until my ex-wife actually moved out of our house and left me and the kids, I deeply wanted to reconcile with her. Once she moved out it was game over. There was no coming back -- even if she begged me. The affair(s) weren't deal breakers (at the time) but abandoning her kids definitely was. 

I would not take this woman back because she has some serious issues that you can't fix. Let her find out what life is like now that the free ride is over with.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Simon Phoenix said:


> As I wrote in a book I'm about to publish, you never take back someone who left you for someone else, especially if she only wants in because the real world is not matching up with the thrill and fantasies of their affair. It's not your fault that they are short on funds and their credit is shot. You simply don't bring garbage back into the house after taking it to the curb.
> 
> Now that their fun time has apparently come to a painful end, she thinks that she can just say 'I'm sorry' and reclaim the life she had with you, right? What better time to drop the hammer than right now? As one would trade in their beaten-up Ford for a brand new Mercedes, it's time to trade in the 43 yo for a newer, fresher model that's just sitting in the showroom, dying for you to give her a ride. That's the perfect way to let her know that she isn't the only one capable of getting somebody...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_





> As I wrote in a book I'm about to publish, you never take back someone who left you for someone else,


Some do, some don't. There are no absolute rules in these things, lots of variables.


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## Simon Phoenix (Aug 9, 2010)

MattMatt said:


> Some do, some don't. There are no absolute rules in these things, lots of variables.


Not really, especially when the one who cheated and left only wants back in because things aren't going happily ever after. This was put on a tee for him to swing for the fences; I hope he doesn't miss...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

maincourse99 said:


> Never know her to be the rescue type. I think he feeds her ego, worships and adores her.


Not being snarky here but you loved her also, right? 

Is it just the fog or does she not realize that?


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## rushzappafan (Aug 15, 2012)

My wife right now is likely banging a 50 year old maintence guy she used to supervise till she lost her job. I am planning to divorce the cheating b?! as soon as I get my oldest of to university and syphon off enough money in cash from our joint account (all my money by the way) to comfortably pay a lawyer and 6 months rent. The best revenge is living well. make your child the centre of your life and all will work out well. Get the best lawyer that you can afford. Check references. Two $400/ hour lawyers will give you totally different outcomes. Get joint custody, respect your wife in front of the child and enjoy life- I plan to do so (and believe me, I have several nightmares that I am going through right now).


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## Wazza (Jul 23, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> Some do, some don't. There are no absolute rules in these things, lots of variables.


MattMatt, I think Simon was saying "You would be ill advised to take back..." not 'You never take back...."

You Brits really need to learn to speak real English (that is, American English).


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## missmolly (Jun 10, 2012)

Wazza, Simon wrote 
'As I wrote in a book I'm about to publish, you never take back someone who left you for someone else, especially if she only wants in because the real world is not matching up with the thrill and fantasies of their affair.' 
How can that be interpreted as 'You would be ill advised to take back . . . ' 
Or is my Aussie English wonky also?
Crikey, I thought I spoke proppa.


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## Wazza (Jul 23, 2012)

missmolly said:


> Wazza, Simon wrote
> 'As I wrote in a book I'm about to publish, you never take back someone who left you for someone else, especially if she only wants in because the real world is not matching up with the thrill and fantasies of their affair.'
> How can that be interpreted as 'You would be ill advised to take back . . . '
> Or is my Aussie English wonky also?
> Crikey, I thought I spoke proppa.


First the Brits and now the Aussies. Oh dear. Cup of tea and a Fosters?

MattMatt's point seemed to be that some people do take the spouse back in this situation, and that point is self-evident. Therefore I assumed that is not what Simon meant. I may be wrong. 

The way I expressed it was intended as a joke, not a serious point about misreading words.

Do you really say Crikey? I thought Steve Irwin was making that up.


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## Simon Phoenix (Aug 9, 2010)

Okay okay, let me interpret. When I said that one should never take someone back in a situation like the one described here, I didn't say that it's never been done before. But I still stand by what I said by never taking them back after he/she leaves for the AP...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Izzie (Aug 17, 2012)

Interesting conversation Ladies and Gents... 

I would just like to add, from a woman's perspective, that most of us are not visual. Men are always talking about being taller or better looking... Women are emotional. We are -- and there will always be an exception to the rule -- attracted to humor, alpha personalities, confidence, providers, protectors, and so forth. A short bald older man can score a hot chick if he is confident, rich, or can make her laugh. We see it in Hollywood ALL THE TIME. Men are the visual ones. Men will marry a *****, a bad mother, a bimbo, a broke uneducated woman if she is young, trim, and beautiful. That is the mistake you guys make!! We as women get sucked into the the gift of the gab. We enjoy being showered with attention, made to feel like we're his world, listened to... He is still 6 inches taller than her. So if he painted himself to be this classy guy riding around in a Benz and promised her a nice loft, I could see how she would be attracted to him if she was unhappy with you. Not trying to make you feel worse but looks are not deal-breakers for most women. How many times do you see a 22-year-old supermodel with a short fat bald 55-year-old man? All the time! Hardly ever the other way around.

I did not have a chance to read your initial post but it looks as though she also left your child? I think that is the part of the story that sucks the most. There is NOTHING and NO ONE -- no man could ever keep me away from my children. I think that is sad and says a lot when other women do not feel that way.

We can't tell you what to do but you sound well-off and attractive. I would at least date a little first before you decide to take her back. Right now your ego is bruised so you feel vindicated and you may consider taking her back. In a few years when you get your confidence back this situation is going to eat at you and you will never look at her the same. 

Good luck


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## maincourse99 (Aug 15, 2012)

Those are great insights Izzie. Even before you mentioned it, I realized that a less attractive man with the proper charisma can attract beautiful younger women with their personalities. I acknowledged this to my wife many times and said if you think that's the real him and that's what you want, go for it. He's a fun guy and showers her with attention. Of course, they haven't lived together and he's been on his game at all times. I always tried to be attentive to her and make sure we got away together every week alone for dancing, dinner, drinks- just let loose and have fun regularly, but EVERY interaction they have revolves around some sort of fun, no mundane household stuff , bills and money issues, children, sickness etc. No marriage can compete with that. His ex-wife, who's comments I take with a grain of salt, but who nonetheless still loves him and would take him back I think, simply describes him as a "handfull", not in a good way. She seemed like a reasonable person and didn't completely trash him in front of me, which was telling. Just matter of factly talked about his prickly personality, not so great work ethic, major health issues and the fact that he has absolutely no money and is actually in debt, (some of this my wife may not be aware of), but affectionately referred to him as "my Rick". He also has pulled away from his adult children, which really gives me insight into what kind of person he is. He also hasn't experienced my wife on a day to day basis. Yes, my wife left our 11yo daughter but refuses to admit she "left" her. It was just between her and me she says. Fact is, though, she left us both. That really bothers me, her refusal to admit that. Shows that she doesn't appreciate the seriousness of what she's done. You choose to be a part time mother and that's okay? Oh well, as I see them getting closer to moving in together (this Friday) I can tell her anxiety level is rising. The divorce is in process and that too is on her mind, that she's pushed it to this point.


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## Kasler (Jul 20, 2012)

Tell the OMW's children to keep their eyes out. She may let him back in, but her sons who got walked out on by their father for sex certainly won't allow it.


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## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

maincourse99 said:


> ...but EVERY interaction they have revolves around some sort of fun, no mundane household stuff , bills and money issues, children, sickness etc. No marriage can compete with that.


No. No marriage can compete with that. With the OM it's all fun and games. No clogged toilets. No vomiting kids. No bills to pay. 

But...from what you describe, your W is in for a rude FN awakening if she moves in with this broken down old drunk. Let her downgrade if that's what she wants. You'll upgrade.


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## river rat (Jan 20, 2012)

rushzappafan said:


> My wife right now is likely banging a 50 year old maintence guy she used to supervise till she lost her job. I am planning to divorce the cheating b?! as soon as I get my oldest of to university and syphon off enough money in cash from our joint account (all my money by the way) to comfortably pay a lawyer and 6 months rent. The best revenge is living well. make your child the centre of your life and all will work out well. Get the best lawyer that you can afford. Check references. Two $400/ hour lawyers will give you totally different outcomes. Get joint custody, respect your wife in front of the child and enjoy life- I plan to do so (and believe me, I have several nightmares that I am going through right now).


Sounds like you have a plan, and a good one. You're in for a rough ride for the near term, you' may find peace down the road a bit. Prayers w/ you.


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## hotdogs (Aug 9, 2012)

The karma bus hits EVERYONE in due time. It's honestly the only thing that keeps me remotely (and I do stress remote) sane.

If you take her back, I'm going to hunt you down and slap you upside your head!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mr Blunt (Jul 18, 2012)

If I got this right your wife left you and your daughter for an overweight, poor health, poor provider that even his own children do not have a good relationship with. If that is true then your wife has no common sense or loyalty. *I can better understand a teenager or even someone in their 20s being bought so cheap as a few laughs and a few compliments; but a woman in her 40s is inexcusable.*

If that is all the better your wife can handle life then you had better take this chance to divorce her and not let yourself get sucked in by emotions. The most important thing for you to do is to *get as much control of your daughter as possible*. The overweight alcoholic that has such poor health and relationships with his children is not to be given any chance with your daughter. The OM has almost nothing going for him and he *will try to satisfy his shortcomings with anyone he can and that includes your daughter.*

Your daughter will have a better chance at life with you than her mother that can be bought for a few cheap laughs and some compliments. Your wife has chosen a complete loser (OM) over her own daughter. She is not a woman that would sacrifice for her child instead she feeds her desires that will do harm to her child.

Divorce her and become the best dad that you can possible be. Your daughter is innocent in this tragedy and you are the best one that can build her up and give her a good chance at a good life. Do not run your wife down to your daughter ever. A child is almost always connected to their mother no matter what. 

Rather than try to show everyone that your wife has done you wrong; get busy and make your life even better. That will help you and your daughter. *Don’t spend too much energy licking your wounds get busy becoming a winner by concentrating on you and your daughter and NOT YOUR WIFE*


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## maincourse99 (Aug 15, 2012)

You are rigtht on Mr. Blunt.


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## Count of Monte Cristo (Mar 21, 2012)

maincourse99 said:


> You are rigtht on Mr. Blunt.


:iagree:

(But that green font was really hard to read -- took me twice as long.)


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## MrQuatto (Jul 7, 2010)

Count of Monte Cristo said:


> :iagree:
> 
> (But that green font was really hard to read -- took me twice as long.)


:lol:

Indeed, was a tad difficult


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