# The cost of infidelity $$$



## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

How much has infidelity cost you financially in terms of legal fees, monitoring equipment, marriage counseling, individual counseling or hiring private investigators how much would you say its cost you.


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## HarryDoyle (Jan 19, 2013)

Maybe twenty bucks. All on books. Although most of the books I got I downloaded for free or real cheap off the internet's.

No, you can't put a price on what I went through.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

This very topic is being discussed under the title "Karen Straughman....why men aren't marrying"....it's more about cheating wives taking CS and spending it as they see it. Don't know if that is relevant, just more of an FYI.

I am sure you will get a lot of responses!!


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

I caught my wife cheating... day 1 she went remorseful, please forgive me, I will do anything, got a Jesus Counselor from our preacher, dah... dah... dah.

Cost? 

This 60+ old counselor, calls me and says the her ABOVE Co-Pay would be $30.00 per hour out of pocket to see my wife. I called BCBS and asked how much they were that going to pay for "Behavior Counseling". Since MC was licensed and State approved BCBS was paying $70.00/hour 2 visit per month, for 2+ years without review. 

WTF?

I called her office and said that personally I could care less about anything, but I'm not spending a penny out of pocket on a lying, cheating, wh--re, of a wife. If they didn't want C&R from Insurance just fine. I'm not paying. 

I guess time are tough in the MC business just like everything else. Her Sec calls me at work and says that she they will except Ins Payment alone for a limited time. 

Yep... just like everything else... bust your ass for 30 years... build house, send kids college, pay f'in bills on time, save every penny for retirement, basically bust your ass for everyone else... wife has freak time with old Boy Friend... make that Boy Friends (years of cheating)... you by the way pay for it... then she oh so sorry... I'm crazy... pressures of life to much... need counseling... 

Counseling for why she spread her legs to some POS that could of cared less about her, never spent a dime on her, was so cheap he would even buy a rubber? 

Now some PHD in a stale office park wants $100.00 / hour to tell my cheating wife that she has problems with her childhood that caused her to cheat?

Cheating is a freaking Gold Mine.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

RWB said:


> I caught my wife cheating... day 1 she went remorseful, please forgive me, I will do anything, got a Jesus Counselor from our preacher, dah... dah... dah.
> 
> Cost?
> 
> ...


Oh my! That is horrid. I am so sorry you had to endure that! What an idiot counselor. Did you divorce or reconcile?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

Over20,

R, 4+ years down the road,

You know what I learned about MC... this is BIG... The reason you have to pay so much? No One, No One, family, friends, co-workers, anyone, wants to her about your cheating wife and marriage issues. In truth... the freaking MC could care less. That's the reason you have to pay someone to listen to all your tired, boring, boo-hoo, my wife is screwing my best friend crap in counseling. 

Go do battle with the Wind-mill... it's cheaper and just as effective.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

Has your wife changed?


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## RNS (Apr 6, 2013)

to OP.

I suppose you could say I got out of it rather cheep. 2 VAR's, 1 GPS tracker, 2 months of service on said tracker and about $3,000 in divorce proceedings and about 20,000 in equity in the house I just sold. 

Though if you really add things together at the point when she claims she started stepping out, (10+ years ago) You would have to add in the 30,000 (I was curious , and did a little research, and that is about right) per year of stuff she bought only for herself. Oh and about another 28 k for the upgrades to the last home that she flushed and the 20 k of 401k money used to purchase our current home. 

So I would say somewhere about 400 k when all is said and done. I should send her the invoice  Early on I told her I would one day.


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

My high price attorney didn't charge me a thing after my wife repented and came clean. So $0.00 for the attorney.

A little over $100.00 for two VARs.

My wife spent more then $1,000.00 on her burner phone from Sept. till Nov. 2011. She used three credit cards to try to hide her spending on this, so I know what she spent on this phone. I don't know what she spent on the other one from December 2011 till April 2013.

Alcohol for her and the XOM. Not sure, I know of at least $100.00. 
Gas. There were times she drove over 90 miles each way to hook up, so I would estimate over $500.00.

Stupid spending on clothes etc. for the XOM, I have no clue.

False counseling for her lousy IC, $25.00 co-pay per session and I think she went 9 times. I went to a good counseler about 12 times.

All said I would say around $3,000.00.


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## Allen_A (Nov 18, 2013)

You guys forgot the $$$ wasted by the spouse during the affair : 

a. "business" trips
b. gas for automobile
c. hotel rooms
d. restaurants
e. GIFTS
f. clothing
g. private phone services

That crap adds up too...


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## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

Cost for the choices my cheating, lying XH has made?

$210,000 Child support and alimony to me for the next 9 yrs
$4,000 Legal fees
$40,000 Asset split
$280,000 Child support to one of the OW he got pregnant
$200,000 My share of retirement funds
$10,000 Therapy and medical bills for himself and our child

Close to $750k because he's a messed up idiot. $700k to find "happiness". He told me the other day he can't pay his bills. 

Then you can start to count in the non$$ losses. Friends. Family. Respect. Our son is messed up.

I didn't want any of this, but I won't stay with a serial cheater and habitual liar.


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## Rottdad42 (Nov 26, 2012)

In order to be done with it fast she said this is what I need and I will be gone, hurt like hell to hear that. She didn't think I could pull this off, but you got to love family. My 80 year old wealthy great aunt, gave me money. No loan, no nothing. Her words, you are a great nephew, good person and a good husband, she doesn't deserve you.

Her demands:
1: new car
2: pay for her move
3: pay one year of apt cost
4: take on all debt
I do financially well in my field, she made a list of demands which she didn't think I could pull off. She was wrong. In addition she said she would sign off on not taking a percentage of my pension, dodged that bullet. In the end I managed to put together about 40g, to flush this marriage down the toilet. BTW, I love my aunt for what she did. I didn't have to worry about an attorney, MC fees and so on. There is no fixing destroyed. Her reaction to me getting this done in four months: PRICELESS! What was even better was her finding out I went out on a date two months after we signed. What does she care, well I let slip that after a few choice word from her to get me going, I have never been loved up like this for 15 years. She always prided herself on being miss thing in the sack. She was wronnnnnnng. Sorry for my tangent, it does add up the costs but, now I'm free and don't have to make payments, ever oh yeah!


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## RNS (Apr 6, 2013)

To all.....I think that though the monetary value seems to fluctuates, the real cost of an affair is pain, suffer, extreme mental damage and the one thing each of us can least afford....a piece of our lives that can never be regained.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

Interesting question. 

Spent probably $700-$800 on counseling.
Bought MMSL and HNHN = maybe $35 total

But this really should be a Mastercard commercial....


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Your once in a lifetime beautiful wedding ....$20K
Buying your first home together......$250K
Raising 2 kids to adult hood...........$500K
Catching your cheating spouse with another person....Priceless


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## Ceegee (Sep 9, 2012)

Cost me just about everything and worth every penny.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Let's see. Around $100 in books and workbooks. $200 in various spyware and tech gadgets. $500 in out of pocket costs for the first MC. $1200 in out of pocket costs for the second MC. $50 copay for my STD testing. $2750 for the divorce and filing fees. $3000 or so in moving costs and new furniture. $100,000 down payment on a new house, plus the remaining mortgage and interest over the course of the 15 year note. Oh, and the 4000 square foot, custom, waterfront home on 3 acres of family land that we designed and built together, containing tens of thousands of dollars worth of custom, bench made, staircases and millwork done by my father as a gift to us.

I ended up with around $103K in cash for half the equity on the house and half of his meager retirement savings, $1000 for the brand new treadmill he didn't feel like moving downstairs, and all of my family furnishings and housewares and my personal effects. He is, of course, also paying child support for our son for the next 5 years. 

Basically, I broke even. I would have taken less just to be rid of him.


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## kalimata (Jan 29, 2014)

For me the total is well over $20K


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

Xenote said:


> Your once in a lifetime beautiful wedding ....$20K
> Buying your first home together......$250K
> Raising 2 kids to adult hood...........$500K
> Catching your cheating spouse with another person....Priceless


Oh my! I am so sorry.....


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## RNS (Apr 6, 2013)

Man you guys thought of all sort of expenses I just plain forgot


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I once calculated that it cost him $10,000 by the time I agreed to R. He had spent $1400 trying to hook up with a 'model', another $3000 or so he sent to another sex scammer, a couple hundred in porn/chat site membership fees, and then he had to furnish an apartment when I kicked his sorry ass out, and pay rent there for 5 months. Oh and he had to pay for a new computer for me, $2600. So maybe more than $10,000

Since we've gotten back together, we've spent maybe a couple hundred on books. MC doesn't cost anything as we have good health plans. He also had to get rid of the couch he got the BJ on - loss of $1000.00. He had to pay for me to go with him on a business trip, so a couple thousand there.

Monetarily it hasn't really cost me a lot. Just him.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

$0 
Anything I got to read, I downloaded for free, or read online. No money spent on AP either. Only thing lost was time.


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## Allen_A (Nov 18, 2013)

Ceegee said:


> Cost me just about everything and worth every penny.


:scratchhead:


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

Ceegee said:


> Cost me just about everything and worth every penny.


Ain't it the truth Ceegee. Kind of bitter sweet.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

Ceegee said:


> Cost me just about everything and worth every penny.


So the money you spent was well worth the results?


So sorry......


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

I guess I see my case differently. For me, I try to view the "cost" as an investment. I invested in myself by getting rid of an unremorseful wayward spouse and it was also an investment in truth by getting out of the lie I was living. 

It has been worth every cent, I did get a decent deal with at least the divorce as my XWW couldn't wait to get rid of me. I think that helps.


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

This has me thinking about ROI.

For as much as my XWW spent or consumed and since she contributed basically nothing financially speaking to our marriage- I'm sure I'll be better off in the long run without her. I already have more disposable income than I did when we were married. I haven't replaced everything in the bank yet, but it is growing.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Well so far I have spent just over 10k on a lawyer, she has spent over 15k on lawyer. After a year we are in the exact position as the day the filing took place. Nowhere! I estimate I will have another 8k in lawyer, she will have another 10k. These are conservative and if we don’t actually go to trial….wishful thinking on my part. 

Alimony wise I will have to pay her in the neighborhood of 75k if it all goes well. I will also loose half my work pension, half equity in house, the usual stuff on top of that. 

So most likely 18k attorney fee for me
75k for alimony. Her severance pay for services rendered. Not a bad reward to having an affair. 

Funny part to me is the 25k she will spend to get her piece of “the empire” yet I would have paid more to be done on day one and Im not even sure what we are even fighting about. Ours is such a simple straightforward divorce so shes spent 15k for sure to get a worse deal than what I offered in the beginning. I guess her having an affair wasn’t the only bad decision she has made……

I had an old boss who always said “it costs money to learn something” why is he still right after all these years.


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## X-B (Jul 25, 2013)

I am not sure of the cost yet, but I would give what that person who won the Powerball last won to have the life I thought I had a year and a half ago. Right now money means nothing to me. But I reserve the right to change my mind in the future if I find a lady twenty years younger than me who likes guy's with money


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

I used to work for HP. One of the CEO's while I was there was Mark Hurd. 

We was using his corporate expense account to hide his affair expenses from his wife. He gets busted, and fired from a $150M per year job because of it. I'm not sure if that beats Tiger Woods or not, but has got to be close.


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