# Getting tired of being a "tea bag"



## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

I read somewhere that a woman is like a tea bag...the longer she's in hot water, the stronger she gets. In the span of 24 hours...my car broke down (it's in the repair shop), my central heat went out (it's kaput..need a new one now), and the kicker...my beautiful, intelligent 24yo daughter who suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder just attempted suicide for the 2nd time in 2 months by driving her car into a river. 

Somebody take the kettle off the stove, please.........................


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

Wow...well, there is some truth to the "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" theory. Not that it makes your situation any better, but...

I'm sorry for the h*ll you're going through, and I sincerely hope things improve for you very soon.


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

If I were going to be bitter, it woulda happened a long time ago. And after a lifetime of "issues" (mother died at 12, father sank to the bottom of a beer bottle, had my own apt at 15 that I paid for by working two part time jobs and going to school..I could go on,and on, and on..but that's where it all started), I'm getting tired now. 

You think you have this reserve of strength to pull on that will last you the rest of your life. I always thought of myself as a strong person. I'm still here, so I guess I am. But truly? I'm getting weaker every day now. This thing with my kid has taken me out at the knees.
Thanks y'all for responding...


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Sorry things aren't going well. Hang in there! I sooooooo know the feeling though. I've had so many things go wrong over the past five years that I can't even remember what they all are. Family and friends keep encouraging me to write a book. Who knows what the category would be--Inspirational, adventure, mystery, or horror. The really sad part is that some o the life events are so unbelievable people would think the book was fiction! Like you I'm ready for a break!

How is your daughter doing?


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

That's funny..my sister for years has told me to write a book. I've always told her it would have to be under fiction, b/c it's too crazy to be believed. Some things were admittedly my own stupidity..others..not so much. Stuff just happens. 

I don't know how my daughter is doing. A police officer once told me that when they're in a mental hospital, it's like they cease to exist. I find that to be a true statement. The hospital won't even acknowledge her existence, and no one answers the patient line. She'll contact one of us eventually (her sister or myself)..but most likely only when she's been discharged. She just took her already bad situation (she was homeless and living in that car, but she had JUST MOVED INTO an apartment the day she drove her car into the river) and made it exponentially worse. If I were a drinking person, I'd be a raging drunk by now.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

That's so sad about your daughter. I'll be sure to say a prayer for her......and you.


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

Thank you, they're sure needed and appreciated.


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

Try to get your daughter therapy tailored to those with BPD. She will need a thorough psychiatric assessment, where the doctors ask about her life and her symptoms. This will result in a firm diagnosis; some physicians slap the BPD label on patients they don't like. BPD sufferers are often refused treatment.
I can say all of this because I have been through it myself. I went through a horrible depression which included suicide attempts and cutting. This stemmed from being abused in every way most of my life, as well as people I loved suddenly dying. The dark days brightened as soon as I moved away from my parents. I am certainly not suggesting that your daughter has been abused. I was simply reaching out with my story.
The saying is:"A woman is like a tea bag. You never know how strong she is, until she's in hot water." Be extra nice to yourself and your daughter. Gently steer her towards therapy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

MrsG., my D is a diagnosed borderline. And I have to admit that she does meet the criteria. She's under medication, and was advised to seek DBT. She doesn't take her meds, and refuses to go for treatment. I'm slowly learning how to handle the borderline. It isn't easy, let me tell ya. Don't get me wrong, I never expected easy. This is just a very complicated illness, and sometimes I think the family hurts as much as the person suffering. My D likely inherited this illness (there are very tell-tale signs in some of my ex's family), as well as having an emotionally absent parent (her father). Abuse? None physical that I know of. 

I like that saying (about the tea bag and women). But...having lived 52 very hard, complicated years...I'm getting tired, you know? Just getting very, very tired. I guess I'm just left wondering now if we have an UNLIMITED reserve of strength, or if it just simply...runs. out. Things will level out, and it seems as though our reserves (of strength) fill back up. But I don't think they ever fill up all the way. I really believe I'm getting to where I'm running out. Is that possible?????


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## tobio (Nov 30, 2010)

I joke now about whoever invented the saying "things can't get any worse" was lying:scratchhead:

Honestly? I think if you have managed through what you have for all this time, you will continue to cope. I think that if we were to look forward into such a time in our lives where things were unstable, sad things were happening to those close to us, maybe one after another, and maybe bad things happening to ourselves as well, we would feel convinced we could not cope with such circumstances.

But when we find ourselves plunged into that, a lot of the time without warning or prediction, we do cope because we have to. We develop our own coping mechanisms, sometimes without realising, and we muddle through. We often wonder how, looking back, we managed it.

You seem able to take a step back from your life and look at it and I think that is a good thing, to be able to have that perspective.

Wishing you and your daughter well.


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

Ah, but see..that's what I question. The ability to continue to cope. To continue to "muddle through". I guess the alternative would be to just give up, and that doesn't sound like a good one (alternative, that is). I guess there are those that do lose the ability to continue to cope, to continue to muddle through. I'm just wondering if there is an unlimited reserve of strength to not just cope, but to persevere. To continue to come out on the other side, lessons learned...stronger than before.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

The concept of the book really isn't a bad idea. Not from the point of view of actually publishing anything - although you could.

Journaling is powerful. It gives weight and substance to the myriad of trials and joys that we face every single day. It can also remove some of the weight that tries to pull you down. 

It makes an excellent reference of perspective during both good and bad times.

It is apparent that you are a survivor. I sincerely hope that you choke the joys in your life for everything they are worth.

I think your strength goes beyond tea and into the realm of paint thinner.


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

major_misfit, sorry for what you're going through. I hope I can offer a little hope. I was diagnosed BPD as a teen and I put my parents through hell. I never attempted suicide but I certainly thought about it a lot privately. I actually thought that was normal...I did suffer abuse as a child so that worked against me.

The hope I have for you is that in my early 20's I found ways to cope and move on from the diagnosis, the misery and the constant need to destroy any point of goodness in my life for fear that it wasn't real. There was a time when I felt that misery and pain is what I deserved and even a glimpse at happiness was a sick joke. 

Therapy never worked for me and drugs worked against me. I had to do a lot of growing up and learn to take responsibility for myself and my actions. You can't be responsible for your daughter or her recovery even if I know you must feel so absolutely emotionally connected to it. I know how strong the love for our children is. I now have three beautiful kids and have been married for 14 years to a man that I love tremendously. It's been such a journey.

Please don't give up on your daughter, I know you might feel that way now but just in being able to write all the hardships in your life down, you are still in the fight. The car will get fixed, your heat will get fixed and your daughter is also a survivor. I hope she learns to love the beauty of the complexity that she is dealing with so that she can accept herself. 

If things only get worse, keep writing about it and move through it. You deserve happiness and joy in your life. Please don't ever forget that or feel guilty for thinking it. If you need to talk, don't hesitate pm'ing me.


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## chefmaster (Oct 30, 2010)

major misfit said:


> I like that saying (about the tea bag and women). But...having lived 52 very hard, complicated years...I'm getting tired, you know? Just getting very, very tired. I guess I'm just left wondering now if we have an UNLIMITED reserve of strength, or if it just simply...runs. out. Things will level out, and it seems as though our reserves (of strength) fill back up. But I don't think they ever fill up all the way. I really believe I'm getting to where I'm running out. Is that possible?????


Yea I frequently feel like I'm Running on Empty as well. If it's any help I do believe there are things that come along once in a while to help replenish the reserves a little bit.

There should be group meetings...



MM, can I ask you a personal question for my own benefit? When was the last time you had any type of meaningful dream about anything(daydream or night)?


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

Thank you all for your support. Trenton, I don't feel at liberty to post up publicly what my daughter does in the throes of this illness. It's not out of shame, b/c it is what it is...I just never thought I'd see my beautiful, intelligent (IQ bordering 150) suffering so. This is not something she's likely going to grow out of. This illness didn't really manifest itself until her early 20's. The last 3 years have been a literal hell.

Chefmaster...I'm not sure what you mean about "meaningful" regarding dreams. Your meaningful and mine might differ. I'm going to need a little more to go on here. At this point, I'm not even remembering any dreams. The last I had that I remember were nightmares. Usually when I have a nightmare they're related to their father. I'm always trying to "resuce" someone (usually myself and my kids) and he's thwarting those attempts. At least that's the last that I remember.


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## chefmaster (Oct 30, 2010)

major misfit said:


> I'm not even remembering any dreams. The last I had that I remember were nightmares.


Somehow I knew that, don't ask me why.. I'm the same way.

How about daydreams/long and short term goals for yourself that don't involve helping anyone but yourself?


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Write your novel, MM. You have no idea what your amazing life, strength, courage and shear survival instincts could mean to someone else. 
I wish you the VERY best in life. I would buy your book in a New York minute.


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

I agree with everyone here. Write it down. If you are able to talk about it, your experience can touch the lives of others and that is a really good thing. You do sound like an amazing person.


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

Thank you all. Chefmaster, you said not to ask..but I still want to know what hunch you went on thinking that I remembered mostly nightmares.  I feel for anyone who remembers only the awful stuff. There's got to be good in there somewhere, right? 

Panda...you have the ability to look on the bright side of things. Have a feeling you're a "glass half full" kinda person. I admire that in anyone, I don't care WHO you are. 

Brennan, if I ever do write that book...save your money. I'll send you an autographed copy! Pay close attention to the chapter where I was bitten by a Copperhead...it will be funny! 

Trenton, thank you for the compliment. I think the world is full of amazing people. Thankfully so. This forum sure is. I read the stories and the replies of those who genuinely want to help from their perspective in life...and am thankful there are still those out there who just want to help. So many forums have people who just want to "show off" (for lack of a better word) their imagined (or maybe real) superior intelligence. I don't have a lot of time for that. 

I DO have a good support system, though small. It's my sweetie and my sister. I don't even attempt long term goals anymore, b/c my health problems have worsened exponentially this last year alone. I had a goal today to get out the 40 xmas cards I need to get out..didn't make that goal. It's on the list for tomorrow. As far as doing something for myself? I honestly feel that so much of my life is wrapped up in doing for myself (I really have to be careful what I DO to myself). I don't know..it's hard to explain. I'm not thinking clearly, and having trouble organizing thoughts. 

But I do appreciate those of you who took the time and effort to respond to this post. Truly.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

MM, I cannot imagine how hard it is to have a child who is suicidal. I've had some very tough times with one of mine, but not that--at least not yet. I'm so glad you have your sweetie and sister for support, because that's what you need and it's what I was going to suggest before i read your last post. Lean on those near you b/c they wouldn't want it any other way. 

The hardest thing for a parent to accept is that they cannot make their child's choices for them. It sounds like you have done what you can. Her illness limits what you can do for her, as does any illness. For yourself, focus on today, each day. It has truly amazed me, how the future takes care of itself. Not in ways I'd choose, maybe, but since I cannot control the future or change the past, I try to focus on what is in front of me b/c that is usally something I can do SOMETHING about, even if only very, very little. 

I'll have you and your family in my prayers. God bless.


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## chefmaster (Oct 30, 2010)

MM, 

I could just feel it, if that makes any sense. 

I hope there is something positive to look forward to from them otherwise the joke's on folks like us.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Major misfit,

I really admire your positive attitude about life. 

Strong people thrive even though their life is difficult. 

I see it from you. 

I have read some of your posts, I see a fighter, I don't see a complainer. I see a sweet lady, I don't see a woman full of misery even though she has experienced a lot in her life. I see gratitude, I don't see whining. You have shown me the beautiful side of the women. 

You are blessed, kind people are always blessed. You have a loving husband, you have a loving heart. I can feel that you are surrounded by love even though you are in a difficult situation. 

I had been through hardships in my life. I loved my mother so much that I would never try to end my life to solve my problems. I didn't want to cause my mother pain. If we think more about others, then we won't do selfish things like causing other people pain. But I don't know if you daughter can understand this. 

I wish you the best!


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

Chefmaster...you must be blessed with "gifts" that I'm unaware of. I have a sneaky suspicion what they might be. If there's a joke being played on me, I sure don't want to know what it is. 

greenpearl, you are a very sweet woman. I have a feeling there's a little temper underneath that somewhere though, lol!

My daughter's illness has brought this family to our knees. We're learning to walk the very fine line between helping and enabling. Tough one to figure out sometimes. This is her 3rd suicide attempt in the last year. The last 2 were very close together though. She is scaring me to death. Parents of borderlines are supposed to do things to take care of themselves...and I have done that. I have set my boundaries, and I haven't moved them. THAT has been the hardest part. This has all caused me to question just how much strength a woman has. What causes others to break, and others to keep hanging on? I guess you just never know. I know if I should have to bury one of my kids (PLEASE GOD NO) that will break me. I know me well enough to know this. My sister told me that, as impossible as it is, to try to prepare myself for this possibility. Already I'm digging around in the bottom of the "strength barrel", and finding not much there. At least not right now. I'm having to scrape it up from the bottom. Surely it doesn't just "run out"?


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

It used to be a lot, a lot. For the past two years, I have overcome a lot of my personality weaknesses. Anger was the first on the list. Wisdom from Proverbs helped me overcome this problem, I still have some.  Much better now! 

I can understand your stress. My mother is a very loving mother, when I was young, I caused her a lot of grief. 

So now I do my best not to let my mother worry about me. I have read something, it is our responsibility not to let our parents worry about us. If we love our parents, we should be responsible for our lives, have stable jobs, have an organized life, don't get into troubles, always remember to tell our parents that we are safe and fine. 

I don't know anything about BPD. Will good religion help?


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

I can tell you I definitely know how you feel.

In the space of a year my husband had a brain injury, my two dogs died within 6 weeks of each other, my mother's house burned down to the ground, I can't see my grandson because of the custody battle between my son and the mother, and my daughter, also only 24 and an alcoholic, just attempted suicide for the 3rd time this month and is now locked up in a padded room up north.

I've lost weight, been in counseling and on medication - the only reason I'm still here. I wanted to pack it up myself a few months ago but didn't have the nerve.

Hang in there - while it may seem like your life is falling apart around you, someone always has it worse (that may not help you, but it does help me - try to count the blessings you do have and I know you may not feel like you have any right now). 

I've also been told "God doesn't give you more than you can handle," but I personally think I've had enough. I don't think God is at work here, I think the Devil is trying to get his hooks into me and I'm not biting!


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

Greenpearl, No..religion won't help. At least not on her end. I can't say what all my praying will do for the situation, if anything. She needs serious long term therapy, and she needs to stay on her meds. She does neither. This is a real mental illness (that admittedly some doctors are diagnosing without the patient meeting the full criteria..but that's not the case here) that needs to be treated. I can't force her into treatment, and the way the acute care facilities handle things is inadequate in my very humble opinion. 

I don't know where you read that it's a grown child's responsibility to not worry their parents, but I like it.


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

Marriedwifeinlove...I guess we were posting at the same time. And good grief!!! you've been put through the wringer lately. I'm not so sure that God doesn't give us more than we can handle..I've seen other people just give up and throw in the towel. I think they got more than they could handle. Or maybe they didn't recognize some tools to cope? Don't know. 

I struggle with guilt over counting my blessings sometimes. I don't feel I have the right to whine over what I deal with, when others have it WAY WORSE than I do. My own daughter has it worse than I do. I don't have a mental illness causing me to trash my life. But..my sister told me it's my pain, they're my issues, they matter to me, and it's all relative. She's right to a point. But when I see a child who has a disease that causes his skin to separate at the slightest of touches, Yep..my life seems pretty good after all. 

Sometimes I wonder how any of us get through any of this mess.


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## mentallydrained (Oct 7, 2010)

major misfit said:


> If I were going to be bitter, it woulda happened a long time ago. And after a lifetime of "issues" (mother died at 12, father sank to the bottom of a beer bottle, had my own apt at 15 that I paid for by working two part time jobs and going to school..I could go on,and on, and on..but that's where it all started), I'm getting tired now.
> 
> You think you have this reserve of strength to pull on that will last you the rest of your life. I always thought of myself as a strong person. I'm still here, so I guess I am. But truly? I'm getting weaker every day now. This thing with my kid has taken me out at the knees.
> Thanks y'all for responding...



I'm sadden to hear of your daugther (and the other things but daugther first!) I lost a daughter 2 days before she was to be delivered. I got to hold her lifeless shell. Worst thing ever! I cannot even fathum, how people cope having to do that after watching them grow through years of life no matter how many. 

I too, pray you and your daughter will get through this. I do believe what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger as well. Although the saying doesn't feel like it now, and I'm sure not for you at this time by any means...these incidents have happened for a reason. What ever that is...it has to make you and her stronger. There is a plan for you both. Prayers to you.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

major misfit said:


> Greenpearl, No..religion won't help. At least not on her end. I can't say what all my praying will do for the situation, if anything. She needs serious long term therapy, and she needs to stay on her meds. She does neither. This is a real mental illness (that admittedly some doctors are diagnosing without the patient meeting the full criteria..but that's not the case here) that needs to be treated. I can't force her into treatment, and the way the acute care facilities handle things is inadequate in my very humble opinion.
> 
> I don't know where you read that it's a grown child's responsibility to not worry their parents, but I like it.


I read a lot of books about wisdom, I go to other forums, I only search for threads about wisdom. In Taiwan, there are a lot of places where I can read things like this. All the reading has really improved my attitude about life.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

Yes, it's all relative to each person. When I look at mine, I realize there are a lot of people better off and worse off. So I try to remember that when things are falling down around me - but it's not easy - it's real easy to just throw in the towel and don't think I haven't thought about it a few times this year - but, I guess I'm stronger than I thought and I bet you are too.

Sometimes our true character and strength come out when we are truly tested.


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

I don't know about anyone else, but I'm getting sick and tired of being tested. I wish I could just give myself permission to just let.it.go. Just for ONE stinkin' day. To not think about it. To not have to deal with something. It's getting to the point where I'm going to start looking for the other shoe to fall, when things are going good. I do NOT want to be that person. I don't want waiting for that shoe to fall to be a knee-jerk reaction to good times. 

Sometimes I think if I get ONE MORE TEST, I'm going to fail. Failure's never been an option for me. Quitting's not an option. Maybe that's my biggest fear..that I'm going to fail. Ah, now see...you have got me to thinking here....


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## chefmaster (Oct 30, 2010)

MM,

No, no joke hon.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

major misfit said:


> I don't know about anyone else, but I'm getting sick and tired of being tested. I wish I could just give myself permission to just let.it.go. Just for ONE stinkin' day. To not think about it. To not have to deal with something. It's getting to the point where I'm going to start looking for the other shoe to fall, when things are going good. I do NOT want to be that person. I don't want waiting for that shoe to fall to be a knee-jerk reaction to good times.
> 
> Sometimes I think if I get ONE MORE TEST, I'm going to fail. Failure's never been an option for me. Quitting's not an option. Maybe that's my biggest fear..that I'm going to fail. Ah, now see...you have got me to thinking here....


Boy I know how you feel. I started waiting for the other shoe to fall which gave me a negative attitude about everything - I figured if I was ready for the disaster to happen then it wouldn't be a surprise and I would be able to handle it better. While that did work, I started waiting for the other shoe to fall about everything - my husband of all people told me one day that I was so negative about everything.

So, I've really started trying to be positive even when I don't feel like I am or want to. When someone used to ask how my weekend was to the old me I would respond "what's your definition of a good weekend, no fires, deaths or floods?" Now when they ask, regardless of how it was I will say "it was good, how was yours?" This has made a difference with people approaching me and not expecting something negative and it does make me feel better - I tell myself that the weekend was good, because there were no fires, deaths or floods! 

It really hit home to me how negative I was becoming when someone at work said "if you want to feel better, don't talk to ***." 

Believe me - boy do I know how you feel - I am in your shoes right now! If you want to talk more, you can PM me anytime.


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

chefmaster said:


> MM,
> 
> No, no joke hon.


It certainly isn't. No joke at all.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

> I wish I could just give myself permission to just let.it.go. Just for ONE stinkin' day. To not think about it. To not have to deal with something. It's getting to the point where I'm going to start looking for the other shoe to fall, when things are going good.


"Being prepared" does not mean anticipating--waiting for the worst. It means having a support system around you, knowing your own strengths and weaknesses, being aware of resources, those kinds of things. You have done that. Let go of the waiting, the anticipating. How? Refuse to give in to those thoughts, the "what ifs." This is so very hard to do; I know, I had to learn to do it and my situation was not literally life and death, as yours is. But in this case, letting go means refusing to entertain thoughts of the worst--no amount of worrying or anticipating in that mentally-torturous way will make any difference, will help, at all. (There may be some part of you that believes your worry is a talisman, somehow keeping the event from happening, but of course it is not). 

"Refusing to entertain those thoughts" means that you practice strategies to divert/redirect your thoughts when the negative ones emerge. I have found that for me (and this really is just what works for me; I don't know if it will work for you) is to acknowledge the thought and then "pass it on." It looks like this: terribly scary thought, then I say to myself "Yep, that could happen, but worrying about it won't help and in fact is just a way to torture myself. So instead I'm going to _____________." I have a list of things to fill in that blank--"Finish this paragraph I'm reading." "Balance my check book." "Call a friend." "Play with the pet." I take an anti-depressant, too, to help me stop dwelling/obsessing, and combined, the two stategies really help.

At first, redirection takes more energy and will be necessary a lot. But over time, it does get easier, and I spent less and less time worrying about what I could not control. Every now and then I catch myself in a negative reverie. Somehow, acknowledging the thought and the possibility give the thoughts less power. 

I have no idea if this will help you at all. Again, I've never been in your shoes. But if this helps you put aside the worrying some, to ease the burden over something you can control, great. That is what it sounds like you need to do right now. You do not know what the future holds, so suffering now for something that might happen does not help; it only hurts you. And the future could hold much more promise than you anticipate; you just do not know. 

I'm so sorry you are in such pain and your daughter too. God bless.


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

sisters...I totally get what you're telling me. I don't know if those techniques would work for me. I will TRY to divert myself, just to find the thoughts creeping back in. It can take me an hour to read one page, and I'm a voracious reader. But I do see what you're saying. 

I'm waiting on a book "I Don't Have To Make Everything All Better". I just wish it would hurry up and get here. 

And MWIL..that pm works both ways. Thank you!


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

Thanks - will do!


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

MM, the art of letting those scary thoughts just pass is so difficult to learn. Took me years. Medication helped--anti-depressant for anxiety and some OCD tendencies. Sometimes my worries were "catastrophizing" (what if the worst possible thing happens?) Other times they were grounded more in reality, but were still things beyond my control. Be sure to acknowledge the scary part before diverting--the trick is to stop following it, not fight it. Again, I haven't been in your shoes, so I'm just suggesting what worked for me. My son was really depressed at one point, but that was the worst it got (bad enough, but not as difficult as the situations you have had to face). 

Some ideas for living in the moment: really focus on sensations when you are doing self-care. Pick really good foods, especially colorful fruits and veggies. Breathe in their fragrance as you prepare them, and let the taste linger in your mouth to enjoy it. Get, or give yourself, a manicure in a color you love to look at. Watch how it goes on sooooo smoothly. I like running my fingers over my smooth nails once the polish has dried, and I continue to do it all the time while the nails are nice. Massage is really nice especially if you make sure to use a lotion/oil with a fragrance you enjoy. Warm room, soft lights and music. Again, really listen/smell/feel. I will try to pick out individual instruments in a piece I'm enjoying, for example. These little things are pleasurable but take a lot of focus. They are small moments of relief. The more you can build that kind of "here and now"focus into all you do, the less time you will have to worry. Won't take it away, but will give you respite. And try writing down your anxious thoughts for a fixed amount of time each day--10-15 minutes. Let yourself dwell for that time, but then have a plan for moving through the day with real engagement in all you do. Just some ideas, and I hope one or more work for you in some small way.


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

Thank you. I really do need to try to implement some of those "feel good" techniques. I'm just so damned scared right now, I can hardly think straight. I'm going to have to find something. There's got to be something that will allow me a respite. 

On a positive, my 10yo son had his xmas program at school last night. He sang a solo. The only one, and his was the last act of the night. He got a standing ovation. I knew the little boy could sing, but I didn't realize that he would belt it out on stage like that (he's on the shy side). I had tears in my eyes, I was so happy for him. His oldest sister (my 27yo..has my grandson) came down as well, my SO got off of work early just for the occasion, and his mother came as well. I have tears in my eyes just typing this. I'm going to carry this with me and milk it for those feel good feelings for as long as I can wring them out.
Thank you so much for your suggestions. I'm going to have to MAKE myself do those things. They can't hurt, and it they help even if for a little bit then I'll take what I can get. When I can get it.


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

major misfit said:


> Thank you. I really do need to try to implement some of those "feel good" techniques. I'm just so damned scared right now, I can hardly think straight. I'm going to have to find something. There's got to be something that will allow me a respite.
> 
> On a positive, my 10yo son had his xmas program at school last night. He sang a solo. The only one, and his was the last act of the night. He got a standing ovation. I knew the little boy could sing, but I didn't realize that he would belt it out on stage like that (he's on the shy side). I had tears in my eyes, I was so happy for him. His oldest sister (my 27yo..has my grandson) came down as well, my SO got off of work early just for the occasion, and his mother came as well. I have tears in my eyes just typing this. I'm going to carry this with me and milk it for those feel good feelings for as long as I can wring them out.
> Thank you so much for your suggestions. I'm going to have to MAKE myself do those things. They can't hurt, and it they help even if for a little bit then I'll take what I can get. When I can get it.


Loved reading this :smthumbup:


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## NOT SURE (Dec 19, 2010)

How do I start a new post?? Sorry I'm new and lost!


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

Not sure...there's a button on the upper left that says "new thread". Just click that and you should be off and running.


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