# reconciling but still divorce?



## ScottH454 (Jun 3, 2012)

My wife an I have been seperated five months now. First month an half was headed towards reconiling then one day back to just file. Well now for the past month we have back on track to try again, but yesterday got the divorce papers in the mail. This was totally unexpected an this morning I find out why. She said she is still in love with me but wants me to file so she can get health care from the state. She has been in abdomina pain for the last few years an it's worse now. She thinks she knows what it is, just can't afford to get help. They say I make to much, but my debt to income leaves me with maybe $50 extra a month. I'm in Wa state is there anything else we can do without having to do divorce? Thanks
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## 36Separated (Aug 5, 2012)

U ok?


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## ScottH454 (Jun 3, 2012)

Physically? I'm good. Emotionally this month has been getting much harder. Missing her an wanting her back, but she was trying to stay there to get health insurance. Last weekend was real bad stir crazy.
She said she'll try an call so we can talk about it. I hope she will consider coming home for treatment. I just feel better if I knew she was serious about us staying together. She mentioned we'd remarry, but I don't want to wait another few months till after she gets treatment to see her again.
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## MSC71 (Aug 1, 2012)

I remember your other thread. I think she is using you for the insurance. Did that thought ever cross your mind? Just curious your thought process


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## ScottH454 (Jun 3, 2012)

Yeah I do know she needs the divorce for the insurance. Doesn't need me for anything other than to file. I thought she may have been nicey nicey to get me to finish the divorce, otherwise I'd drag it out to hang on to hope. Seemed like a lot of work, when all she had to do is stay firm on the divorce. But she kept acting like she didn't really want it, in fact even now she didn't get the papers all signed.
She didn't call yesterday an today emailing her about things still weren't signed an my paranoid fear she did play me. She called on my lunch an we talked things out. I pretty confident we are still headed towards getting back together, that divorce is just the fastest way to get her treatment. They said they could start now, but need the finalized papers to finish payments. They told her it can take 6 months for treatment, which is where we are at now. She had planned to stay in CO an visit me over Xmas an return to CO for the last few months. Now I don't understand if she doesn't need her job for the insurance why she couldn't come back home with me an go through treatment hear. Hope with more contact with her I can stay sane to pass the time. I see others going for longer time apart an some saving their marriage, Don't know how the military can handle leaving their families for so long.

She did finally answer my big question "why is she giving us another chance". She broke down an said because after all she had done to push me away with the lying, dishonesty about smoking, that I've continued to love an fight for her during this separation as well as before. So it seems even with the 180 they still need to know your still there an love them enough to hang on an fight. At least it looks to be in my case.


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## MSC71 (Aug 1, 2012)

I would not trust anything she says. Sounds like she is using this as an excuse to get the divorce papers signed. Her surgery is her way of justifying it.


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