# lost n confused



## summer79 (Jun 15, 2010)

I really don't know whether what I'm doing is right or wrong. I just want to hear some opinion or advice, since I can't possibly discuss this issue with anybody, without hurting my husband's feeling. 

First of all I'm married woman and I've been married for almost 2 years. During this time, the frequency of our sex life is only once or twice a month. Is this consider normal? 

Furthermore, my hubby doesn't like to display his affection towards me in public, except for holding hands. Even when we took a photo together, he will just stand nearer beside me. I've to tell him to put his hand around my shoulder. 

When we go for holiday, I thought we finally going to get some romatic moment. But guess what? He's bringing his mom along with us. This has always happen so many times, until I get tired of it.

So is it something wrong with our marriage life? I don't feel good n secure about this whole thing. I don't know how to keep this marriage going.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## HappyHer (Nov 12, 2009)

Find a time to talk to him about this, how much you would like more intimacy and to feel as if you are both pursuing passion with one another. Let him know what that looks like to you and how you would feel if he would negotiate ways with you that will help you both meet your intimacy needs.


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## GoDucks (May 19, 2010)

I wish I knew what to say... Our intimacy was similar at your stage in marriage, however, my H was really good about establishing that I was ranked higher than his mom.

I think I would have a talk with him about him finding a way to establish that you are the woman in his life now. Give him some flexibility to best sort it out for himself, but he cannot answer to two women.

For my H, I asked this of him before we were ever married (my MIL is a *strong* personality), and he did a great job of drawing boundaries - small at first, but eventually it was scheduled visits, calls before coming over, and then invite only. Now, we have Sunday dinners as a family, and invite them to kid-events, and it's great. 

Best of luck on the other stuff... I have no idea.


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## Susan2010 (Apr 19, 2010)

This is one of the many, many, many stories that makes me wonder why on earth you married him. Wasn't he the same way while you were dating? Didn't you have sex only once or twice a month before you married him? Didn't he refrain from showing affection before you got married?

Unless this was an arranged marriage or otherwise lacking a dating period, there was no reason to expect the marriage to be any better than it is.


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