# Marriage and Curfew!!!



## blessed18 (Jun 4, 2018)

Ladies and Gentlemen,
What is considered a reasonable time for your husband/wife to come home after a night out?? Night out meaning, having a girls/guys night out! Thank you for all positive responses.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Sorry, but it's impossible to give a response without more info.

What type of outing are we talking about? With whom? For what purpose? Is there a scheduled event or is it just unstructured hanging out? 

Was anything discussed/boundaries set beforehand?

What is the state of your relationship? Is there past pattern of behavior that would give cause for concern?


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## Edo Edo (Feb 21, 2017)

blessed18 said:


> Ladies and Gentlemen,
> What is considered a reasonable time for your husband/wife to come home after a night out?? Thank you for all positive responses.



I get the feeling that this is being asked due to a recent disagreement between spouses, but without any more detail or perspective added to this question, the only real answer I could give is, "whenever he or she wants to come home..."


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

you know the old saying "nothing good happen after midnight" i would push that to 1am. 

one night it must have been around 2-3ish and it came from one of the house behind us, and i heard the wife outside the house asking her husband to let her in and he told her no...this went on and on so we called the cops, by the time the cops came he let her in and when he stopped over to talk to them they said it wasn't them...two months later the house was sold and they were gone...not sure if they were together.


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## BarbedFenceRider (Mar 30, 2018)

Ok, I'll bite....

With my wife, She would usually be heading out the door to dinner with the girls about 8-ish in the evening. Usually chicken talk with drinking usually taking place. Afterwards, a coffee then to come home around 12-12:30. 1am at the latest. We both have young kids, and mornings would be hell. She is turning 40 this year and a night of drinking and partying does NOT do well with the aged body. Trust me, I KNOW! lol


Which reminds me....I haven't gone out with the boys in a LOOOONG time. Usually we go shooting in the afternoon. And then a sports game with wings and beer. But, life just seems to get in the way.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

I come home close to the time I said I would, or I'll call before that and talk about a change in plans. If I don't have a good idea in advance (which is unusual), I'll just say that I'll be home whenever, and that's good enough. The same for her.


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## blessed18 (Jun 4, 2018)

I'm saying this because last week, my husband got off work late and was to get me something to eat. He informed me he had to go get it about an hr or more after he got off. Instead of telling me he was going out, he just went, never coming home. He informed me after 1am that he was with friends. He informed me then after 3am that he would tell me what happened, leading me to believe that something unfortunate happened that caused him to not come home then! He came home after 6am and didn't say a word to me. he then tried to act like everything thing was fine, but I ignored him all that day and didn't sleep in our bed. I finally asked him, so what did you have to tell me about your night out? He had the nerve to say, we were club hopping! Your a married man with kids and you were club hopping and didn't tell me that you were doing so and you think it's ok? I'm the type of person that gives people too many chances, and especially since we're married, I felt that I have to put up with more than I wanted to because of such. But how much can a person take? It's like a roller coaster! I am always home with our children, I don't want to go out by myself because I am married and feel that by me doing so, it attracts the wrong crowd. I feel that going to clubs are a single person thing, that's my belief! Iv'e been happy to find groups like this to vent to and get advice to level myself just in case i'm overthinking it. But I have had enough! If you want to act like your single, then be single. I have my kids to worry about and to worry and stress about him and what he's doing and not doing is going to make me crazy. I deserve more than this!


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## blessed18 (Jun 4, 2018)

BarbedFenceRider said:


> Ok, I'll bite....
> 
> With my wife, She would usually be heading out the door to dinner with the girls about 8-ish in the evening. Usually chicken talk with drinking usually taking place. Afterwards, a coffee then to come home around 12-12:30. 1am at the latest. We both have young kids, and mornings would be hell. She is turning 40 this year and a night of drinking and partying does NOT do well with the aged body. Trust me, I KNOW! lol
> 
> ...



That's reasonable to me! Thank you. I'll be 40 in a few years.


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

Depends how old you are and what you are doing.

Once went to a 24 Hour Relay Race. We stayed out all night.

If we go to a house party, we typically leave when other couples start to leave. Usually between midnight and 2 am.

If we go to a wedding, we leave near the end of the dance. Usually around 1am.


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## blessed18 (Jun 4, 2018)

Married but Happy said:


> I come home close to the time I said I would, or I'll call before that and talk about a change in plans. If I don't have a good idea in advance (which is unusual), I'll just say that I'll be home whenever, and that's good enough. The same for her.


Thank you for your post! That's how it should be, I feel. Awesome


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## blessed18 (Jun 4, 2018)

SadSamIAm said:


> Depends how old you are and what you are doing.
> 
> Once went to a 24 Hour Relay Race. We stayed out all night.
> 
> ...



Now you said we....are you 2 together at the events or with other people? Thank you


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

My W will usually be home NLT 11:00-11:30. She has never been later then that.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Forget the "time" What your H did was flat out disrespectful, and his response what REALLY crap.
What if YOU had done this? Left him home and stayed out all night without telling him anything? He would be furious and any answer he makes to the contrary would be BS.

"Your a married man with kids and you were club hopping and didn't tell me that you were doing so and you think it's ok? "

THIS right here YOUR thinking is 100% correct on this. He is 100% wrong on this.

"just in case i'm overthinking it. But I have had enough! If you want to act like your single, then be single. I have my kids to worry about and to worry and stress about him and what he's doing and not doing is going to make me crazy. I deserve more than this!"

You are NOT overthinking, he ISN'T SINGLE and has a family to worry about. THAT should be his first priority. If he told you in advance that he was going out for a bit, he STILL needs to have some common sense to not stay out all night.

I'd check his phone...


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## BarbedFenceRider (Mar 30, 2018)

blessed18 said:


> I'm saying this because last week, my husband got off work late and was to get me something to eat. He informed me he had to go get it about an hr or more after he got off. Instead of telling me he was going out, he just went, never coming home. He informed me after 1am that he was with friends. He informed me then after 3am that he would tell me what happened, leading me to believe that something unfortunate happened that caused him to not come home then! He came home after 6am and didn't say a word to me. he then tried to act like everything thing was fine, but I ignored him all that day and didn't sleep in our bed. I finally asked him, so what did you have to tell me about your night out? He had the nerve to say, we were club hopping! Your a married man with kids and you were club hopping and didn't tell me that you were doing so and you think it's ok? I'm the type of person that gives people too many chances, and especially since we're married, I felt that I have to put up with more than I wanted to because of such. But how much can a person take? It's like a roller coaster! I am always home with our children, I don't want to go out by myself because I am married and feel that by me doing so, it attracts the wrong crowd. I feel that going to clubs are a single person thing, that's my belief! Iv'e been happy to find groups like this to vent to and get advice to level myself just in case i'm overthinking it. But I have had enough! If you want to act like your single, then be single. I have my kids to worry about and to worry and stress about him and what he's doing and not doing is going to make me crazy. I deserve more than this!


Now, just for context....My wife doesn't go "clubbing" with the girls. Besides, latina clubbing is waaay to forward and hot to be going single when you are married...Just sayin'

But the girls do have dinner quietly and usually sit at a huge table and talk. And then coffee at a starbucks or whatever... But clubbing? No way. That is 21 and single life. Not 40yo married with kids type.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

blessed18 said:


> I'm saying this because last week, my husband got off work late and was to get me something to eat. He informed me he had to go get it about an hr or more after he got off. Instead of telling me he was going out, he just went, never coming home. He informed me after 1am that he was with friends. He informed me then after 3am that he would tell me what happened, leading me to believe that something unfortunate happened that caused him to not come home then! He came home after 6am and didn't say a word to me. he then tried to act like everything thing was fine, but I ignored him all that day and didn't sleep in our bed. I finally asked him, so what did you have to tell me about your night out? He had the nerve to say, we were club hopping! Your a married man with kids and you were club hopping and didn't tell me that you were doing so and you think it's ok? I'm the type of person that gives people too many chances, and especially since we're married, I felt that I have to put up with more than I wanted to because of such. But how much can a person take? It's like a roller coaster! I am always home with our children, I don't want to go out by myself because I am married and feel that by me doing so, it attracts the wrong crowd. I feel that going to clubs are a single person thing, that's my belief! Iv'e been happy to find groups like this to vent to and get advice to level myself just in case i'm overthinking it. But I have had enough! If you want to act like your single, then be single. I have my kids to worry about and to worry and stress about him and what he's doing and not doing is going to make me crazy. I deserve more than this!


"Clubbing" was over the day my W and I married. Once in a blue moon we may go to a bar. In fact, I can think of 3 times in the past 24 years we went to a "bar" or "club". 

Staying out all night has never happened for any reason.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

""Clubbing" was over the day my W and I married. Once in a blue moon we may go to a bar. In fact, I can think of 3 times in the past 24 years we went to a "bar" or "club". "

you say that WE go to a bar --- THIS is what should have happened (BOTH of the spouses wanted to hit some clubs as long as they keep their boundaries while there). If you BOTH want to hit a club, no big deal as BOTH are there and aware of what is going on. This was completely one sided and not discussed at all -- just BS.


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## blessed18 (Jun 4, 2018)

jlg07 said:


> Forget the "time" What your H did was flat out disrespectful, and his response what REALLY crap.
> What if YOU had done this? Left him home and stayed out all night without telling him anything? He would be furious and any answer he makes to the contrary would be BS.
> 
> "Your a married man with kids and you were club hopping and didn't tell me that you were doing so and you think it's ok? "
> ...


Thank you so much for your feedback. Your 100% absolutely correct.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

Your husband has ZERO respect for you. 

It is not about the club. (however let me give some perspective. Last time I went clubbing was 7 years ago maybe, maybe 6. It was my good friends bachelorette party, and we club hopped all over Seattle) Bride even peed in a bush next to the seattle library. Classy. That was the ONLY time I went clubbing as both a mother and a wife. Stayed the night at a hotel, (this part was planned) 

I was hit on, I was on the dance floor and guys came to grind, I found it repulsive that environment. 100% of the men were hunting for strange. I got a few invites to go back to their place... even though I moved from them and did not encourage... 

A club is where you go when you want to get laid.... And I get laid by my husband...Not strangers in the club. 

Your husband is cheating on you. For this level of disrespect he has STEPPED outside of your marriage. 

I would be 100% done because what he did to you....STEPPED OVER MAJOR MARITAL SPOUSAL lines. 

He is lying if he says NOTHING HAPPENED, he was just dancing... You dont go there for the dancing. You go to hunt...


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## SarcasticRed (Feb 21, 2018)

For either of us, when we will be out later than usual (if we will be home after 6 pm usually) we let the other know we will be late and an estimate. Even just if we get caught up with something at work we let the other person know. Then update every few hours as needed. So I might get a text about 5 saying "I'll be home late because reason" and then again about 8 letting me know if he will still be out a while. We've never had an actual discussion about this, it has just evolved. We try to give estimates, even if they change later. Neither of us stay out that late with friends without the other person there. Typing it out, it sounds controlling on both ends but it is more of a curtsey thing rather than a "you must tell me at all times where you are". Going out with a friend/friends usually means 1) dinner somewhere 2) a brewery or 3) at the other person's house. Unlike some of our friends, we don't track the other person's phone so we do check in more than other people might. 

Club hopping until 3am or 6am without any notice would not be okay. Going out and staying out without telling me until 1am would have resulted in many texts, multiple phone calls from me and possibly calling his friends if I wasn't hearing from him. Even if he wasn't doing anything "wrong" while out, he showed a major lack of respect for you and a big lapse in judgment by not telling you. Did he not think you'd be worried about him? Or that he was leaving you with the kids by yourself for the night? Not okay.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

jlg07 said:


> ""Clubbing" was over the day my W and I married. Once in a blue moon we may go to a bar. In fact, I can think of 3 times in the past 24 years we went to a "bar" or "club". "
> 
> you say that WE go to a bar --- THIS is what should have happened (BOTH of the spouses wanted to hit some clubs as long as they keep their boundaries while there). If you BOTH want to hit a club, no big deal as BOTH are there and aware of what is going on. This was completely one sided and not discussed at all -- just BS.


Yes, neither my W or I have a desire to go to a bar together, girls NO and guys NO. When we did go the bars together we never stayed long. It was a Halloween bar event. Another time we went the bar was newly renovated by a friend. He wanted us to see it. In fact, we lived in a neighborhood with 5 beach bars. Only went to one in the 11 years there. Bar hopping is, IMO, something no longer done once married. 

My W girls night out consists of happy hour at a restaurant with a dinner that usually if not always is celebrating a friends birthday. My W is usually home by 11:00 or sooner. Then the real party starts. :grin2:


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## I shouldnthave (Apr 11, 2018)

Yeah this isn't about a curfew, but rather communication and respect. 

There are no curfews at my house, we are grown adults, we don't set curfews - on occasion my husband will come home quite later after a night out with the guys. I am fine with this. 

For one, he tells me before hand (and I am usually invited), two, he checks in often throughout the evening - I am not left wondering where he is, if he has been hit by a buss etc. He lets me know when he is heading home, how he is getting there etc. Often I will be asleep - but at least he texts so I do not wake up and worry. 

Oh, and he doesn't go "clubbing".


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

blessed18 said:


> I'm saying this because last week, my husband got off work late and was to get me something to eat. He informed me he had to go get it about an hr or more after he got off. Instead of telling me he was going out, he just went, never coming home. He informed me after 1am that he was with friends. He informed me then after 3am that he would tell me what happened, leading me to believe that something unfortunate happened that caused him to not come home then! He came home after 6am and didn't say a word to me. he then tried to act like everything thing was fine, but I ignored him all that day and didn't sleep in our bed. I finally asked him, so what did you have to tell me about your night out? He had the nerve to say, we were club hopping! Your a married man with kids and you were club hopping and didn't tell me that you were doing so and you think it's ok? I'm the type of person that gives people too many chances, and especially since we're married, I felt that I have to put up with more than I wanted to because of such. But how much can a person take? It's like a roller coaster! I am always home with our children, I don't want to go out by myself because I am married and feel that by me doing so, it attracts the wrong crowd. I feel that going to clubs are a single person thing, that's my belief! Iv'e been happy to find groups like this to vent to and get advice to level myself just in case i'm overthinking it. But I have had enough! If you want to act like your single, then be single. I have my kids to worry about and to worry and stress about him and what he's doing and not doing is going to make me crazy. I deserve more than this!


The difference between you is that you are acing like a mature sensible wife and mother, and he is acting like a 20 year old single guy. As for not telling you he was going out and not getting home till 6am, completely unacceptable. :|


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

blessed18 said:


> But how much can a person take?


I dunno ... how much can YOU take? This site is littered with stories of sad souls who stay with partners who pull outrageous crap. I don't get it, but for reasons of their own they hang on.. 



blessed18 said:


> It's like a roller coaster!


Sounds like it's time to get off the ride. The ball is TOTALLY in your court.



blessed18 said:


> I feel that going to clubs are a single person thing, that's my belief! Iv'e been happy to find groups like this to vent to and get advice to level myself just in case i'm overthinking it.


Apparently your husband thinks he is single. At the very least, he has a different outlook on socializing, doesn't he? How long have you been venting to online groups? I'm curious as to why you believe you are overthinking this. If his clubbing is unacceptable to you, then it's unacceptable. 

It's all about setting boundaries. You either enforce them or you keep venting and riding the roller coaster.



blessed18 said:


> But I have had enough! If you want to act like your single, then be single. I have my kids to worry about and to worry and stress about him and what he's doing and not doing is going to make me crazy. I deserve more than this!


If you truly believe you deserve better, then see an attorney to get your ducks in a row. Yeah, you can make yourself crazy if you stress about someone other than yourself. Your life. Your choice.


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## PaulB (Jun 26, 2018)

threelittlestars said:


> He is lying if he says NOTHING HAPPENED, he was just dancing... You dont go there for the dancing. You go to hunt...


You are being totally out of touch by this statement, stars. You see men in clubs all the time who are ignoring women and just dancing together in a group of guy friends... :grin2:


Yeah, this issue is way beyond a simple curfew debate. Drinks with guys at a sports bar for 2-3 hours is completely different from club hopping all freaking night. My wife has the occasional girls night out. Actually not as often as I suggest. But they don't go clubbing. Clubs are for married people to go to together or for married people to go to alone so they can pretend they aren't married. That's my take. (At least for more than a pit stop.)


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## bkyln309 (Feb 1, 2015)

I have been out as late as 2 am on a girls night (dancing to the 80s, listening to a band). While not married, I text my bf throughout the night, if I think its going to be after midnight. I even text him when I am leaving the club to make sure I am on my way home safely. I would definitely say 6 am is totally out of the question. I would say no contact by him to you is concerning.


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

Has there been a history of prior indiscretions? He is likely going to trickle truth or lie.

(Did I understand that he was supposed to be bringing you home dinner?)

Could this be his exit strategy from the marriage? I'd need a polygraph and lots of suck up.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

3 or 4 nights a week my wife leaves at 5 pm and returns around 6:30 the next morning. Sometimes I call her.

I don't know what to advise you. I got in trouble in the second year of marriage for being out after midnight. Around that same time she took a 2 week vacation without me. Either a person has sufficient personal boundaries that you can trust them, or they don't.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

blessed18 said:


> Ladies and Gentlemen,
> What is considered a reasonable time for your husband/wife to come home after a night out?? Night out meaning, having a girls/guys night out! Thank you for all positive responses.


*Why does one need a guys/girls night out? But then again, I gave up bar hopping in my intercollegiate days!

I know that if I'm off playing golf with the guys, that sundown, well before supper, is more than appropriate! 

I'd have to say that the same should apply to her!*


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Basic respect and consideration require that you keep your partner informed and comfortable, and that you show caring for them. Without that, you don't have a relationship that's worth maintaining.


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## kennethk (Feb 18, 2014)

i go to a men;s workout class 2x a week and home by 9:30 unless we take the teacher out to dinner, then it's no later than 11:30 and she always knows where I am, what I'm doing and who I'm with.

She rarely goes out at night. If so it's with a girlfriend or two from her meetup group, to a nice restaurant and home by 10 the latest. I always know where she is and who she is with... TAM member here so I know the know ;-)


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Blessed18, you are perfectly correct to be pissed off with your H. His story sounds incredibly shady and I suspect there was a lot more hopping on than in clubs if you get my drift. You have to take swift action now otherwise rug sweeping this will have you living years of misery while he walks all over your boundaries and disrespects you.
Has he done this before? Has he cheated on you? Does he drink too much (alcoholics pull this kind of ****!)
You ought to

1. Go through his phone and start snooping, computer, etc. Do not let him know, act normal but not overly friendly
2. Do the 180 on him and withdraw
3. Plan a girls night out, but go to a nice hotel, get a spa massage, pamper yourself, make him take care of the kids and do not come home at all, tell him you will be home at X hour though (what is good for the gander is good for the goose, teach him what it feels like)
4. tell him if he ever pulls that **** again, he can move out.
5. Don't do anything for him, no food, laundry anything. Tell him he can go stay with his buddies that went club hopping, they can take care of his ****

No married man has any reason to be out till the early hours of the morning unless he is up to no good.


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## Cromer (Nov 25, 2016)

When I was married (30 yrs), there were exactly two times that I went out with little notice and stayed out late. The first time, a friend got promoted, we went out for drinks, and stupidly I ended up doing shots. I passed out in my friend's apartment. Before it all started, I called XWW and told her that we were going out, but she expected that I would come home. No kids then, but she wasn't happy. No texts or cell phones in those days. She picked me up the next morning and I was apologizing for days.

The second time was a similar situation. I had finished a half-marathon with a group of running buddies and we celebrated, but with no drinking. I fell asleep on his couch and didn't wake up for 14 hours. XWW was pissed, but I'd told her that I was going to be gone all day. It turned into late to be a night too, and again I was in the dog haus for a few days.

I don't want to give the impression that I did this a lot, just a couple of times over 30 years. But it did happen. Of course, had I known then what I know now, I would've just stayed gone. Sometimes when it happens it's shady, but sometimes not. My incidents were completely innocent.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

arbitrator said:


> *Why does one need a guys/girls night out? But then again, I gave up bar hopping in my intercollegiate days!
> 
> I know that if I'm off playing golf with the guys, that sundown, well before supper, is more than appropriate!
> 
> I'd have to say that the same should apply to her!*


Like you I gave all that up many years ago. For me it was in my late teens. I have no idea why married people need to go out drinking/clubbing/to bars without their spouse.


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

blessed18 said:


> Instead of telling me he was going out, he just went, never coming home. He informed me after 1am that he was with friends. He informed me then after 3am that he would tell me what happened, leading me to believe that something unfortunate happened that caused him to not come home then! He came home after 6am and didn't say a word to me.


@OP: Your husband met someone, went for drinks with them,and eventual he ended up in bed with them. It is just that simple.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

^^^ TRy is absolutely correct.

Your husband is a complete and utter POS who has *ZERO* respect for you, *ZERO* respect for his kids, and *ZERO* respect for his marriage.

I don't know where you live, but most of the clubs in my neck of the woods close around 2:00 am, so unless you live in some magic city (Vegas?) where the nightclubs never close, then this sleaze ball wasn't out 'clubbing' til 6:00 am.

I don't even believe he met up with his friends at ALL. Nope. I don't.

He had an all night date with a bimbo and none of his friends were included in it. I think that's what you're going to likely eventually find out with more digging. It won't be because this snake confesses anything to you, it will be because you had to dig and dig and find it yourself. 

Either way, he's a weapons-grade douche bag.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

My wife and I tell each other when we will be late so that the other doesn't worry that we have been hurt. Its nothing to do with tracking - sometimes one or the other of us has to work late, or even goes out with friends, but about letting your partner know that you are OK.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

blessed18 said:


> Ladies and Gentlemen,
> What is considered a reasonable time for your husband/wife to come home after a night out?? Night out meaning, having a girls/guys night out! Thank you for all positive responses.


When they are done what they are doing, seems to me. They are grown ups.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

blessed18 said:


> Iv'e been happy to find groups like this to vent to and get advice to level myself just in case i'm overthinking it.


Sadly, this has me guessing that OP may not return. As I say over and over, I don't understand what good it does to vent but take no concrete action.

I hope even if OP doesn't return, that she'll learn that this relationship isn't a good one and pull the plug.


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

There's a big difference from telling the wife, "Hey, I'm going to XYZ bar to watch the game/fight with the guys." This should be said AHEAD of time. He should also give you a courtesy call if he's going to be out longer than usual. But going clubbing, where music, alcohol, and the whole vibe is about hooking up, is totally unacceptable.

I agree with @TRy 's assessment. He was very likely out with a woman that turned into a sure thing. 
When you spend as much time as we do on this and similar boards as many of us do, you can spot this stuff right away.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

Depends. If there are byob strip clubs in your area, close to 5am as they close at 4am. If everything closes at 2am then 3am is acceptable. 

Probably more depends on your spouse than just a random question like this one. 

If my wife hears me stumbling in the door at 2:30am, she knows I was just out drinking. If I stumble home at 4:30am, she knows I was at XTC. Which is like 2 times a year. Otherwise, a 2am night out may be 5 times a year at most. 

She knows when I'm going out with the guys, so its not random. She just doesn't know if ill be back at 2am or 4am. Neither do I honestly. Sometimes I'm home at 11:30pm. And she is wondering why I'm home so early. 

Really depends on your relationship I suppose.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

Lostinthought61 said:


> you know the old saying "nothing good happen after midnight" i would push that to 1am.


Meh, I have been out later than that and my pants stayed on just fine.

Many prostitutes are busy during weekday lunch hours.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

blessed18 said:


> I'm saying this because last week, my husband got off work late and was to get me something to eat. He informed me he had to go get it about an hr or more after he got off. Instead of telling me he was going out, he just went, never coming home. He informed me after 1am that he was with friends. He informed me then after 3am that he would tell me what happened, leading me to believe that something unfortunate happened that caused him to not come home then! He came home after 6am and didn't say a word to me. he then tried to act like everything thing was fine, but I ignored him all that day and didn't sleep in our bed. I finally asked him, so what did you have to tell me about your night out? He had the nerve to say, we were club hopping! Your a married man with kids and you were club hopping and didn't tell me that you were doing so and you think it's ok?


NOTHING about what your husband did is ok. It's completely inappropriate. No married person has any business behaving like that. Staying out until 6am?? How old is he? 18?? Gawd.




I shouldnthave said:


> Yeah this isn't about a curfew, but rather communication and respect.
> 
> There are no curfews at my house, we are grown adults, we don't set curfews - on occasion my husband will come home quite later after a night out with the guys. I am fine with this.
> 
> ...


^^This. My hubby is actually out tonight with some old friends. I actually dropped them off lol. We caught up with a couple of them this afternoon for a couple of hours, and then they and my hubby were heading off to a reunion. I was invited and more than welcome to go, but honestly I didn't want to. I don't know anyone apart from two of them, and I dont want my husband to have to worry about me, so I'd rather come home. I get the tv and Netflix all to myself tonight hehehehe.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

We don't have curfew because we are not kids. However, the H's behavior was unacceptable. He said he would bring her dinner which he never did. Then, he went bad hopping and came home in the morning hours. 

I would be pissed if I was promised food and then I get nothing. A hungry me gets really angry.

Grown man with small kids at home should be responsible enough to know to call or text wife what he is doing.

We no longer have young kids and I look forward to having the tv to my self at night when hubby is away. I can watch any show I want...


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