# I am living with a financially irresponsible inept 47 yo man. Can he change?



## missfroggie68 (Jun 18, 2013)

Hello my new friends. I am new here so I hope I'm doing this right. I am reaching out because I am starting to think that my 3 year old relationship is over. Another one bites the dust. Here is a little information on me and mine.
I am a 45 year old mother of 2 with 2 divorces and 2 long relationships. I AM AN ENABLER and I think I am also a codependent. I know, not a good combination. I am not as bad as being an enabler as I used to be, but I still have my days. I am working on it. The relationship I am in now started 3 years ago. Now that I think back on it I realize this relationship started due to a 2 year relationship that was at its end. So yes, I went from one relationship right to another. There was only a 2 month difference of kicking one man out (a gambler and drunk) to moving one man in. The man I have now (47yo) said when I first met him that he was a working electrician and staying with his parents to help take care of his dad (he had been sick). I told him what I was looking for in a life partner ahead of time. He had all of the requirements I was looking for in a good man. So I thought...
It was a month after we dated and his job ran out of work. At that time I didn't know that his trade was usually only at work 6 to 8 months a year. I had him move in with me 3 months after we met because he was staying with me most of the time any way and his parents didn't really need his help any more. He is a very respectful man and seemed to have had an extreme amount of bad luck with bad women. (4 marriages). At this point I had already fallen in love with him. 
Now to finish up this story. I found out he is extremely irresponsible with money! I have had 3 differently conversations with him over the last 2 years. The last one being 2 weeks ago. He owes me money, the IRS, 3 hospitals, my accountant, my dentist, a bank, the YMCA, a storage place, and who knows who else before our relationship. He is the perfect gentleman in everything like opening car doors and dropping me off at the door at stores. He buys me flowers sometimes "just because". I know he loves me by the little things he does for me and because he always says he loves and cares about me. But....I am starting to resent him. Even little things that I used to ignore are starting to eat at me. I keep thinking there is no way that in the future WE as couple will never buy any thing together. I will always have to buy everything. And what happens when I am ready to retire in 10 to 20 years? He won't be able to. I bring this up to him and he says that if I move south to retire that he will just sign up with the union electricians of that city and get jobs there. I told him I want him to be able to retire with me so we can do things together. He told me 2 weeks ago that he would either go to the CCC or start paying me extra a month so I could pay his bills for him....he has not done either. I am so mad, frustrated, and sad all the time!!! Please is there any one out there with advice?


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