# Got a situation. What are the chances of it escalating?



## Threeblessings (Sep 23, 2015)

Last night an incident occurred involving my exH. My youngest son called me in tears. All the children are in his care for the week as we have a week about arrangement. My exH still lives in our home that we jointly own but besides that he banned me from going anywhere past the gate. 

Because the little one was in tears I asked if I could drive over and try put him to bed? and would it be okay if I entered his bedroom to do so? He agreed so I drove there and did exactly that. We were all in the bedroom my two sons share and I made a comment about his bed. I said "gosh I think ___ is going to need a bigger bed soon." While holding my son he screamed at me to get out to which I replied "do not speak to me like this infront of our boys." He left the room and my other son started crying, so I opened the door and said come inside and see what you caused...he is so upset, crying his eyes out. While I was sitting on the bed, my son had his head on my chest my exH leaned forward, touched my arm and screamed at me to get the hell out! He raised his had near my face...almost like he was going to hit me so I loudly said "don't you dare touch me because I will not hesitate to report you." To which he replied do it! We were all crying and I took the boys as we made our way outside. Then at my car while they were putting their things in it he slammed my boot so hard I thought it was going to fall off!

I feel intimidated and last night we drove home in tears. I felt sick and couldn't it. I believe that if my son was not on my lap he would have hit me. I've made an appointment to find out about a domestic violence order but this isn't for another 2 weeks and I also don't know if I have done the right thing.

Some time later I received a message saying "Sorry I shouldn't have spoken to you like that, I have been stressed for weeks." I think he is concerned about what I am going to do. Someone also pointed out that he can't stand to see me happy and coping without him. I feel terrible because my children saw and heard everything he said. I need to work today and I can't stop crying about it .


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## Kylie84 (May 4, 2012)

I dont have any advice for you i am afraid, I have never been in this situation. I just wanted to send you ((HUGS))! 
IMO I believe you have done the right thing in making the appointment as he cannot be allowed to treat you and the kids in this way, and him making lame apologies isn't going to help you all. He needs to know you will NOT allow it and he needs to grow up.
Very sorry about the night you all had, I hope you and your boys get some rest.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

You won't like my answer, but it was his week for the kid's, and he and the kids were at the house you joint owned. You should just stay away when it is not your week. The kids will have to learn to deal with it without you having to drive over. 

What I am saying is to reduce the number of situations in which this can escalate. He cannot hurt you if you are not there.


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## Threeblessings (Sep 23, 2015)

blueinbr said:


> You won't like my answer, but it was his week for the kid's, and he and the kids were at the house you joint owned. You should just stay away when it is not your week. The kids will have to learn to deal with it without you having to drive over.
> 
> What I am saying is to reduce the number of situations in which this can escalate. He cannot hurt you if you are not there.


That's why I asked first.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Threeblessings said:


> That's why I asked first.


I know you asked but if you are worried about your safety, then you need to not be around him unless you are handing off the kids. Even if you ask first...

No physical contact (I mean close proximity) unless you absolutely have to.


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## Threeblessings (Sep 23, 2015)

blueinbr said:


> I know you asked but if you are worried about your safety, then you need to not be around him unless you are handing off the kids. Even if you ask first...
> 
> No physical contact (I mean close proximity) unless you absolutely have to.


Honestly, before yesterday I wasn't worried about my safety. I saw a side that I'd never seen before. He hates me so much.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

I know it's going to cost money, but talking to a lawyer is well worth it. You're going to want to get this documented. If possible, get the kids interviewed about what happened. It has to have been terrifying for them.

I also get your point above about how you never saw this coming - so you weren't scared before to enter the house. That's changed now; I think you get that. Simply never be alone with him EVER again.



Threeblessings said:


> Honestly, before yesterday I wasn't worried about my safety. I saw a side that I'd never seen before. *He hates me so much.*


The dumbass did that all to himself. What did he expect? (Rhetorical question, no answer needed.) 

If you had doubts if he's a narcissist, this should put those doubts to rest. He doesn't like that he's being held accountable for his own bad choices.


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## citygirl4344 (Mar 4, 2016)

Perhaps you shouldn't have gone over but that doesn't mean his reaction was right.
I'd contact your lawyer about this. Stress or no stress not an excuse to go ape sh$t on you. 
Document everything, dates times etc.
The fact that he showed aggression like that towards you in front of your kids is worrisome.




Sent from my iPhone


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