# Bad Kisser a deal breaker?



## aston (Oct 24, 2011)

Ok so I went on a date with this tall cute woman and everything seemed well, we seemed to get along ok. Coming off a bad date experience just a week ago I had some reservations.
Anyway, we ended up sitting in her car talking and after what felt like an hour we made out. Ummm...she literally mauled (yes MAULED) my face.....aking to a miley cyrus tongue all over my mouth etc. I couldn't reconcile the cals cute girl with this bad kisser. 
Now I'm a warm slow lips kinds guy, not literally mauling and tongue lashing my date. I'm a bit turned off and I'm starting to place her in the friends zone.

I do have another date lined up next monday so I decided I won't put myself in a position to entertain her "kissing ways" again.
Does a bad kisser become a deal breaker? I honestly don't think I can get past that....just me.


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

If everything else is good, they may be teachable. My last girlfriend's kissing was a cross between an anaconda and a roto-rooter, but she was teachable.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

She was mauling you and you took that for an hour?

You crazy, sir! 

I agree with Married--just tell her/teach her how you like to kiss. Or in the words of the great Sebastian, then you pucker your lips...
like DIS:


----------



## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

I suppose it might depend on why my date was a "bad" kisser. Astonishingly enough, I have personally only kissed 4 guys in my entire life. Three of those encounters occurred prior to my 16th birthday - which was quite a number of years ago. In other words, I kiss the way my ex-husband taught me he liked to be kissed over the 22 years we were together. It might or might not do it for another guy. If it didn't, I would be the bad kisser. I'm amenable to being coached, and would therefore be willing to work on coaching my date a bit. 

If you liked her, and would have pursued a relationship with her if she were a better kisser, then you might perhaps talk to her about it. On the other hand, if you were really only interested in a casual thing, then why bother. She doesn't do it for you, so politely move on.


----------



## aston (Oct 24, 2011)

Married but Happy said:


> If everything else is good, they may be teachable. My last girlfriend's kissing was a cross between an anaconda and a roto-rooter, but she was teachable.


and you lived to tell the tale? :scratchhead:


----------



## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

aston said:


> Does a bad kisser become a deal breaker?


Yes.


----------



## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

Heh. I've had that a few times with buzzed/drunk dates. Was she?

Agree with the others - you can teach her.


----------



## aston (Oct 24, 2011)

thunderstruck said:


> Heh. I've had that a few times with buzzed/drunk dates. Was she?
> 
> Agree with the others - you can teach her.


she was definitely not drunk. just dinner and sangria. On the teaching subject I wouldnt want to teach a grown woman how to kiss, just as a woman wont want to teach a grown man how to be romantic I guess...:scratchhead:


----------



## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

aston said:


> she was definitely not drunk. just dinner and sangria. On the teaching subject I wouldnt want to teach a grown woman how to kiss, just as a woman wont want to teach a grown man how to be romantic I guess...:scratchhead:


How important is her kissing to you? Because if it's anything above a 5 on the scale from 1-10, you probably need to keep it moving.


----------



## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Bad kisser = deal breaker for me.

And no I'm not teaching anyone how to kiss.


----------



## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

aston said:


> she was definitely not drunk. just dinner and sangria. On the teaching subject *I wouldnt want to teach a grown woman how to kiss*, just as a woman wont want to teach a grown man how to be romantic I guess...:scratchhead:


I agree with you.

I love to kiss, and kissing gets me super worked up, so it's like major foreplay.

I tried to teach the last man I was involved with because he was very vulnerable and said he just didn't know how to kiss - and there was some improvement, but it just wasn't satisfying.


----------



## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

aston said:


> she was definitely not drunk. just dinner and sangria. On the teaching subject I wouldnt want to teach a grown woman how to kiss, just as a woman wont want to teach a grown man how to be romantic I guess...:scratchhead:


Umm, two glasses of wine and I'm barely coherent.  She may, in fact, have been drunker than you suspected. Just saying.

But, if you don't want to teach a lover how to kiss, then this one isn't for you. Move along.


----------



## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I have the exact opposite issue LOL

My DH is NOT a deep kisser AT ALL.Open mouthed empty pecks for this gal mostly. Unless he has REALLY missed me.

Kissing is important but like others said,it's also a teachable thing.My favorite move for overzealous kissers was always pulling them back gently and whispering against their lips "let ME kiss YOU baby"...they always found it hot and it worked wonders.They would ease back into the kiss and it would end up being really great.

Good luck!! Don't give up yet


----------



## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

Jellybeans said:


> This thread is reminding me of my first kiss.
> 
> It was somewhere far away, on an island, in this beautiful night-time surrounding. We were alone in this field with nothing but our mo-pad and eachother. There was a beautiful house, way off in the distance, with some lights on, far away, and you could hear the music lingering from that house.
> 
> ...


And that's what happens when we tell kids that the dog is "kissing" them when they're licking them all over their face. You get teenagers who think that making out involves a tongue bath! I can't imagine what even sounds appealing about licking the makeup off someone's face....can't be a sensory pleasure, I'm sure.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I was a young teenage girl and it traumatized me. For a long time.

Luckily, kissing got better as I got older. 

Sooooo much better. Sigh.


----------



## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

Bad kisser would have to be a dealbreaker for me. I suppose it is teachable to a point but at my age if they don't know how to kiss yet ... 

I don't know what is worse though ... the roto-rooter slobberer ... or the hard lips, partially closed mouth kisser. 

A lot can be expressed through a kiss. Simple affection, real emotion, passion and desire.

My wife once said she knew that I loved her before I even said it by the way I kissed her ... she was right.


----------



## aston (Oct 24, 2011)

A Bit Much said:


> How important is her kissing to you? Because if it's anything above a 5 on the scale from 1-10, you probably need to keep it moving.


I'm thinking I will have to keep moving. Kissing is a 9 on the 10 scale to me. It's that initial expression of affection, like the calling card to intimacy ya know. Shouldn't feel like an ice cream tasting event.:lol:



Mavash. said:


> Bad kisser = deal breaker for me.
> 
> And no I'm not teaching anyone how to kiss.


I concur with this 100%:iagree:



minimalME said:


> I agree with you.
> 
> I love to kiss, and kissing gets me super worked up, so it's like major foreplay.
> 
> I tried to teach the last man I was involved with because he was very vulnerable and said he just didn't know how to kiss - and there was some improvement, but it just wasn't satisfying.


Exactly! Improvement and being a naturally good kisser are two different things.



Jellybeans said:


> This thread is reminding me of my first kiss.
> 
> It was somewhere far away, on an island, in this beautiful night-time surrounding. We were alone in this field with nothing but our mo-pad and eachother. There was a beautiful house, way off in the distance, with some lights on, far away, and you could hear the music lingering from that house.
> 
> ...


This just sounds traumatic! Like a Will Farrell movie LOL:rofl:


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

JustSomeGuyWho said:


> My wife once said she knew that I loved her before I even said it by the way I kissed her ... she was right.


You can tell a lot in that kiss.

It's like that Cher song ... "If you wanna know if he loves you so... it's in his kiss..."


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

ScarletBegonias said:


> DH has a first kiss trauma story:
> 
> *I was his first almost kiss* when we were little kids.I went in for it and he turned his face at the last second bc he got nervous so I ended up licking his face.
> 
> ...


That is so cute how you guys got married all those years later... Did you guys go to school together/grow up together? What brought you back into eachothers' lives?

Aw. An "almost kiss."


----------



## aston (Oct 24, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> You can tell a lot in that kiss.
> 
> It's like that Cher song ... "If you wanna know if he loves you so... it's in his kiss..."


HA! Does that mean a mauling expresses an intent to beast-*uck your brains out?:lol:


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

aston said:


> This just sounds traumatic! Like a Will Farrell movie LOL:rofl:


Glad I could humor you through my trauma!


----------



## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> You can tell a lot in that kiss.
> 
> It's like that Cher song ... "If you wanna know if he loves you so... it's in his kiss..."


Well, I'm not going to start quoting Cher songs, lol ... but yeah, I guess she's right


----------



## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> That is so cute how you guys got married all those years later... Did you guys go to school together/grow up together? What brought you back into eachothers' lives?
> 
> Aw. An "almost kiss."


LOL thanks
we were friends through school casually then lost touch for a while.After my divorce I started reconnecting with my old social circle and heard he was single so we connected on FB of all things. he messaged me in a rather flirty way and it took off from there


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Woo hoo! Did you guys flirt when you were kids/teens/was there always a spark? Or was this a new dynamic?


----------



## aston (Oct 24, 2011)

ScarletBegonias said:


> LOL thanks
> we were friends through school casually then lost touch for a while.After my divorce I started reconnecting with my old social circle and heard he was single so we connected on FB of all things. he messaged me in a rather flirty way and it took off from there


One landing results in another take off :smthumbup:


----------



## badcompany (Aug 4, 2010)

Married but Happy said:


> If everything else is good, they may be teachable. My last girlfriend's kissing was a cross between an anaconda and a roto-rooter, but she was teachable.


:rofl:


----------



## vi_bride04 (Mar 28, 2012)

My ex was a horrible kisser yet thought he was the greatest.....wouldn't listen to anything I mentioned about what I liked and didn't' like about his kissing...

A bad kisser would be a deal breaker for me - my experience is a bad kisser is also bad in other areas in the bedroom.


----------



## aston (Oct 24, 2011)

vi_bride04 said:


> My ex was a horrible kisser yet thought he was the greatest.....wouldn't listen to anything I mentioned about what I liked and didn't' like about his kissing...
> 
> A bad kisser would be a deal breaker for me - my experience is a bad kisser is also bad in other areas in the bedroom.


THAAAAANK YOU!:lol:


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

aston said:


> and you lived to tell the tale? :scratchhead:


Fortunately, yes. She not only learned kissing techniques that suited me, she quickly became one of the best lovers I've experienced.


----------



## Random_Girl (Nov 17, 2013)

My husband was incredibly nervous the first time we kissed and it was similar as you described (though I stopped it after about a minute of that). I'm glad I gave him another chance. It was much better the next time. 

I'm not sure, though... an entire hour of that? Hmmm.


----------



## aston (Oct 24, 2011)

Married but Happy said:


> Fortunately, yes. She not only learned kissing techniques that suited me, she quickly became one of the best lovers I've experienced.


Thats not common, you got lucky. A bad kisser for the most part remains a bad kisser IMHO:lol:


----------



## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

vi_bride04 said:


> My ex was a horrible kisser yet thought he was the greatest.....wouldn't listen to anything I mentioned about what I liked and didn't' like about his kissing...
> 
> A bad kisser would be a deal breaker for me - my experience is a bad kisser is also bad in other areas in the bedroom.


Not always the case. My gf before my wife was a terrible kisser and a complete freak in the bedroom ... and the 50 other places she wanted to have sex (that cost me ... we broke a table, dented the hood of my car and put a hole in a wall ... and it was worth it). My wife ... complete opposite ... very good kisser and pretty bad in the bedroom.


----------



## aston (Oct 24, 2011)

JustSomeGuyWho said:


> Not always the case. My gf before my wife was a terrible kisser and a complete freak in the bedroom ... and the 50 other places she wanted to have sex (that cost me ... we broke a table, dented the hood of my car and put a hole in a wall ... and it was worth it). My wife ... complete opposite ... very good kisser and pretty bad in the bedroom.


So you nailed one to the wall and the other has you remeniscing? lol:lol:


----------



## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Kissing is important , at least to me.
I've experienced bad kissers a couple of times in the past and I couldn't get past it.
I remember one girl had razor sharp teeth an bit my lips , hard.
That was our first and last kiss.

One of the things that stunned me early in the game with my wife was how passionately she kissed.
And she liked the way I kissed too.
She still loves to kiss, even today.

So yes, for me kissing is important, and if I was single , I would hardly want to go back after a bad , first kiss.


----------



## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Bad kissing...I've been there and it's just not fun at all. STBW on the other hand...our first kiss set the world on fire. It was as if we were made for each other. Techniques perfectly suited to the other...no learning each other needed. It waws as if we'd been doing it our whole lives and had it down to perfection.


----------



## Hortensia (Feb 1, 2013)

Deal breaker for me. My last long term boyfriend not only was he not good at it, but did not like to do it and refused french kissing. Kind of took a lot from the sexual attraction. Luckily for him, he loved to hug, and that's a biggie for me, so it compensated somehow. H kisses great .


----------



## Bellavista (May 29, 2012)

My first kiss with a boy I had a crush on for years was AWFUL. We were both about 15 and he slobbered all over me, it was a really wet and drippy tongue kiss that seemed to go on forever. Turned me off kissing for a long time, it still makes me shudder to think of it.

H said he had to teach me to kiss 3 years later as I was very stiff and unyielding, but I just wanted to avoid the slobber that I thought was inevitable.


----------



## Unique Username (Jul 6, 2013)

aston said:


> Ok so I went on a date with this tall cute woman and everything seemed well, we seemed to get along ok. Coming off a bad date experience just a week ago I had some reservations.
> Anyway, we ended up sitting in her car talking and after what felt like an hour we made out. Ummm...she literally mauled (yes MAULED) my face.....aking to a miley cyrus tongue all over my mouth etc. I couldn't reconcile the cals cute girl with this bad kisser.
> Now I'm a warm slow lips kinds guy, not literally mauling and tongue lashing my date. I'm a bit turned off and I'm starting to place her in the friends zone.
> 
> ...


You already decided....nothing anyone else says in response to your query should minimalize your gut feeling.

To me it would certainly be a deal breaker and cause for no second date. On to the next one.

I've always been told I'm an awesome kisser - I think the key is being able to respond to the one who is kissing you. Slow and sensual beats hungry Saint Bernard any day lol

Good luck, you'll figure it out.


----------



## Another Planet (Aug 8, 2012)

Not real sure but that would be a huge turn off. 
My last GF told me after the first time we had sex that it was hard to learn what someone else wanted after YEARS of being with someone else and I have to agree she was all over the place and it made no sense to me. Almost a complete turnoff, but me being a guy I kept it going...
Settle the hell down lets do a position for more then 30 seconds!


----------



## Another Planet (Aug 8, 2012)

Unique Username said:


> You already decided....nothing anyone else says in response to your query should minimalize your gut feeling.
> 
> To me it would certainly be a deal breaker and cause for no second date. On to the next one.
> 
> ...


Thats lol eww. Couldn't imagine a girl being that sloppy


----------



## Another Planet (Aug 8, 2012)

Unique Username said:


> You already decided....nothing anyone else says in response to your query should minimalize your gut feeling.
> 
> To me it would certainly be a deal breaker and cause for no second date. On to the next one.
> 
> ...


Thats lol eww. Couldn't imagine a girl being that sloppy


----------



## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

My kissing history (or history of a late bloomer)

The first girl I kissed was my best friends sister. We were friends and everyone was always trying to get us together. There just was not "that" kind of chemistry. We made out one time and it was like kissing a brick. I knew I could do better than that.

I did not date much but in my Senior year my best friends ex asked me out on a date. I said yes but I knew she would break my heart and she did but not before she stuck her tongue down my throat and attacked me after our first date. I fell madly in like and she moved on leaving me devastated.

When I moved away from home I was working with a girl that was adorable. She was a couple of years older and I found myself asking her out one day. We had a real affectionate and fun relationship. I remember several times dropping her off after work round midnight and kissing her goodnight. More than once she would walk away and then stop and ask me to come back and kiss her again. I am grinning ear to ear right now just thinking about it.

My wife says I am a great kisser and she is as well when she wants to be but generally is on her terms. I would love to make out with her but she looks at me funny whenever I have mentioned it so I do not even bring it up any longer.


----------



## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

aston said:


> JustSomeGuyWho said:
> 
> 
> > Not always the case. My gf before my wife was a terrible kisser and a complete freak in the bedroom ... and the 50 other places she wanted to have sex (that cost me ... we broke a table, dented the hood of my car and put a hole in a wall ... and it was worth it). My wife ... complete opposite ... very good kisser and pretty bad in the bedroom.
> ...


Not to be mean ... but yeah, she won't see it so wth ... I've deadlifted 500lbs before but I would need a forklift to nail my wife to the wall; all I have are memories.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


----------



## yours4ever (Mar 14, 2013)

My husband is just so so when kissing.. He was a bad kisser when we first kissed. We don't find much pleasure fom kissing but he is a great guy, we love each other. 

I wouldn't throw him away just because he was a bad kisser. 



You need to evaluate back your criteria for a partner.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

yours4ever said:


> My husband is just so so when kissing.. He was a bad kisser when we first kissed. *We don't find much pleasure fom kissing but he is a great guy, we love each other. *
> 
> I wouldn't throw him away just because he was a bad kisser.
> 
> ...


I already had a roommate. 

I was in a sexless marriage for 20 years to someone I enjoyed being around, but didn't have a physical relationship with.

I don't want to paint with too broad a brush, but one of the first indications that we were sexually incompatible was that our kissing was off.

So, now my criteria for a partner is someone I physically enjoy - starting with kissing. Otherwise, I'd just assume rent out the rooms.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

First kiss means EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRYTHING to most women


----------



## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

vi_bride04 said:


> My ex was a horrible kisser yet thought he was the greatest.....wouldn't listen to anything I mentioned about what I liked and didn't' like about his kissing...
> 
> A bad kisser would be a deal breaker for me - my experience is a bad kisser is also bad in other areas in the bedroom.


:iagree:

Unfortunately, same story here. Operative word "EX". 

Never again.


----------



## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Definitely . Can't stand the way some
girls kiss. Especially if it's too full
on or straight down
your throat.
Real shame, my x was the best kisser ever.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> First kiss means EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRYTHING to most women


Yep! 

I still remember my first kiss with Mr. Ex Jelly. It was on the lips and it lasted too long and it made my head split and divide in a thousand pieces. I knew we were going to be A Big Deal. 

Some of my favorite/most memorable kisses have been the ones that were chaste, on the lips, warm and smooth.

In fact, now that I think of it, all of my "best"/favorite kisses didn't actually involve The Tongue. 

Is that odd?


----------



## tryingtobebetter (Aug 6, 2012)

I would just tell her how you like to be kissed. She might be cool with that.


----------



## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

aston said:


> she was definitely not drunk. just dinner and sangria. On the teaching subject I wouldnt want to teach a grown woman how to kiss, just as a woman wont want to teach a grown man how to be romantic I guess...:scratchhead:


Heh. Sangria, and her being nervous may be to blame. Giver her another shot. 

Back in the day, I asked a coworker out. Her BFF told me she was a virg, and asked me to take it extra slow with her, so I did. After beer #2, the formerly meek virg was shoving her tongue down my throat, slobbering all over my face and grabbing my junk in the bar. On date #2, before she got buzzed, I showed her how to tone it down a bit. She learned quickly.


----------



## Vega (Jan 8, 2013)

aston said:


> she was definitely not drunk. just dinner and sangria. On the teaching subject *I wouldnt want to teach a grown woman how to kiss*, just as a woman wont want to teach a grown man how to be romantic I guess...:scratchhead:


There is no such thing as a "right" way to kiss someone. So, I think the first thing you might do is to stop looking 'down' on her, as if there's something "wrong" with her. 

Different people like to be kissed different ways. There might be men out there who would have NO PROBLEM with the way she kisses. And there's nothing "wrong" with the men who may like it. 

My ex once told me, "I need to teach you how to kiss", to which I replied, "No, you don't need to teach me how to kiss; you need to teach me how to kiss YOU." My exh and a few ex-boyfriends had NO PROBLEMS with the way I kiss. 

It's a personal preference, and everyone is different. 

Vega


----------



## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

Convince her that your mouth isn't on your face and you're golden!


----------



## aston (Oct 24, 2011)

Well she came over last night, mauled my face again and when I tried talking to her it was an issue (I don't know why some people take constructive conversations as rejection). Yea I don't think I'll be seeing her again, I can't get beyond bad kissing.


----------



## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

aston said:


> Well she came over last night, mauled my face again and when I tried talking to her it was an issue (I don't know why some people take constructive conversations as rejection). Yea I don't think I'll be seeing her again, I can't get beyond bad kissing.


Well there it is.

We like what we like.


----------



## Vega (Jan 8, 2013)

aston said:


> (I don't know why some people take constructive conversations as rejection).


Maybe because some of these so-called "constructive" conversations aren't presented...constructively!


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

thunderstruck said:


> Heh. Sangria, and her being nervous may be to blame. Giver her another shot.
> 
> After beer #2, the formerly meek virg was shoving her tongue down my throat, slobbering all over my face and grabbing my junk in the bar. O


Alcohol has a tendency to do that. 

Sangria rules. 



aston said:


> Well she came over last night, mauled my face again and when I tried talking to her it was an issue (I don't know why some people take constructive conversations as rejection). Yea I don't think I'll be seeing her again, I can't get beyond bad kissing.


Perhaps it's HOW you said it? Like, were you offensive? 

I don't think it's so much as "teaching" it's about letting a person know how YOU enjoy it. Like "Hey, baby. I really like when you XYZ... or when you kiss me like THIS..." and then show them.

Practice/making out makes PERFECT. 

Aston, if you came across as harsh then she may not want to see you again but I'm not sure you're going to be too hearbroken about it.


----------



## yours4ever (Mar 14, 2013)

minimalME said:


> I already had a roommate.
> 
> I was in a sexless marriage for 20 years to someone I enjoyed being around, but didn't have a physical relationship with.
> 
> ...



it is just the kissing part. Other than that, sex was normal: good-great-meh depending on situation and context.
He cant keep his hands off me and to Me, he is hot.


Sexless marriage is symptom of a more deeper problem. 
Sex skills can be learn. 
My bj skill wouldnt improve if i didnt read and learn more about it. Same with kissing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

yours4ever said:


> it is just the kissing part. Other than that, sex was normal: good-great-meh depending on situation and context.
> He cant keep his hands off me and to Me, he is hot.
> 
> 
> ...


I understand.

Different people have different preferences.

You said that kissing wasn't that important to you or your partner? It's very important to me.

And am I willing to gently, respectfully guide? To a point. But as you've said above, there has to be a willingness to improve and work on skills. 

I can only do so much to enhance someone else's abilities. They have to do their part.

And in terms of a sexless marriage, I agree that it goes deeper than kissing, but, maybe it's just me - good kissing has consistently meant good sex, whereas bad kissing ignored/overlooked has proven to be a precursor to bad sex.


----------



## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> Like "Hey, baby. I really like when you XYZ... or when you kiss me like THIS..." and then show them.


 

Thanks a lot. I was trying to get some work done today, but that's out now.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)




----------



## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

My first girlfriend taught me how to kiss. There are a couple of girls who would remember me more as a bad kisser than anything else, if they remember me at all. But I guess this girl decided I was worth keeping. And if she was going to keep me, she was going to want to kiss me.

Now I hope there are a few girls out there that remember me more as a good kisser than anything else (if they remember me at all). I think there may be.

Sorry. I didn't answer your question:

Yes, deal breaker.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Idk. I mean one guy I kissed was not that good of a kisser... at first. And then we had some of the best kissing ever together. So... time, circumstance? It went from like a 2 to a 20.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

MrK said:


> Now I hope there are a few girls out there that remember me more as a good kisser than anything else (if they remember me at all). I think there may be.


I hope I am someone's "best kiss," too.


----------



## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

To OP.....What I don't get is why don't people like her know that's terrible kissing??? I mean really, who would enjoy that type of a kiss?

Idk if it's a deal breaker but it'd certainly need to improve before I considered an LTR.


----------



## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

Or maybe it would be fun to try to teach her first (I'll let the ladies recommend an approach for THAT one).


----------



## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

BeachGuy said:


> To OP.....What I don't get is why don't people like her know that's terrible kissing??? I mean really, who would enjoy that type of a kiss?
> 
> Idk if it's a deal breaker but it'd certainly need to improve before I considered an LTR.


Nobody ever told them. They probably got their skills from some tv show and figured it was what they should do. Also, practice DOES make perfect. It could be a lack of kissing that makes you a bad kisser.


----------



## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> Alcohol has a tendency to do that.
> 
> Sangria rules.
> 
> ...


Awesome statement.

There's a BIG difference between telling someone "This is how I like to be kissed" and "I'm not feeling your kisses, your doing xyz wrong."

I'm on the fence on this. I've never had a complaint about my kissing. I try to be very observant without losing passion in whatever I do physically so I pay attention to how the woman is reacting to my kissing. I always start soft, slow and dry and gradually work my way from there. Play the tongue dance (as in dont wrestle the womans tongue, if she wants to "enter" let her, and then when she pulls back, you enter etc.). Most people like to be kissed in one of two ways. 

There are Same Kissers or Yin&Yan kissers. The trick is figuring out what they are DURING the first kiss. Same kissers are people who like to be kissed in the same way they kiss. Yin&Yan kissers will actually want the opposite of how they kiss (less common but they exist). As in if they don't use their tongue much its because they're keeping themselves open for you to go spelunking down their tonsiles.


----------



## aston (Oct 24, 2011)

Vega said:


> Maybe because some of these so-called "constructive" conversations aren't presented...constructively!


Actually, it was constructive. I was married to a psychologist for almost 9 years believe me I *know* how to have constructive conversations.



Jellybeans said:


> Alcohol has a tendency to do that.
> 
> Sangria rules.
> 
> ...


Yes Sangria rules :iagree: and I did not come across as being harsh at all. Some people just can't handle criticism no matter how constructive or diplomatic.:lol:


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

How did you say it?


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

aston said:


> Actually, it was constructive. I was married to a psychologist for almost 9 years believe me I *know* how to have constructive conversations.


:rofl:


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

I was a terrible kisser at first. Glad my wife stuck it out long enough for me to improve.

God, at least I HOPE I've improved.


----------



## aston (Oct 24, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> How did you say it?


You're kidding me right? You do know no matter how I say it people on here will have differing opinions with the potential to take the thread in a different direction. If you want to know well here goes:

In the middle of making out I gently pulled back and asked her to let me kiss her instead (in the hopes of letting her observe my kissing "style). Well she reverted back to the wild tonguing and at this point her tongue carried saliva that slobbered all over me.
I calmly pulled back and though she had a puzzled look on her face I calmly said "I prefer a gentler approach to kissing". Again, in the hopes that saying that, coupled with my earlier request to let me kiss her instead would get the message across. I can also be a bit of a tease with kissing so I pulled back a bit.
Well she took that as me pulling away and not liking her kissing me! Which took things in a different direction. Needless to say we still screwed with alot less kissing :lol:

Does that help?


----------



## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

Bad kissing isn't necessarily a deal breaker. It all depends if the person is "teachable". The first kiss with my SO sucked, and I was really wondering what the rest was going to be like. I never said anything to him, I really think it's something you need to be subtle about, it can come across as hurtful. So, I basically helped him learn to be a better kisser, he picked it up fairly quick, and I love his kisses now, they're the sensual erotic type that I love.

I really hate the tongue down my throat, my SO wasn't like that, he was more a tight lipped kisser, and needed some help with using his lips more.

It all depends how good a student someone is willing to be.

My first kiss, and the one that taught me everything about kissing was from a French guy...enough said.


----------



## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

aston said:


> You're kidding me right? You do know no matter how I say it people on here will have differing opinions with the potential to take the thread in a different direction. If you want to know well here goes:
> 
> In the middle of making out I gently pulled back and asked her to let me kiss her instead (in the hopes of letting her observe my kissing "style). Well she reverted back to the wild tonguing and at this point her tongue carried saliva that slobbered all over me.
> I calmly pulled back and though she had a puzzled look on her face I calmly said "I prefer a gentler approach to kissing". Again, in the hopes that saying that, coupled with my earlier request to let me kiss her instead would get the message across. I can also be a bit of a tease with kissing so I pulled back a bit.
> ...


So the bad kissing wasn't really a dealbreaker for you then???


----------



## aston (Oct 24, 2011)

working_together said:


> Bad kissing isn't necessarily a deal breaker. It all depends if the person is "teachable". The first kiss with my SO sucked, and I was really wondering what the rest was going to be like. I never said anything to him, I really think it's something you need to be subtle about, it can come across as hurtful. So, I basically helped him learn to be a better kisser, he picked it up fairly quick, and I love his kisses now, they're the sensual erotic type that I love.
> 
> I really hate the tongue down my throat, my SO wasn't like that, he was more a tight lipped kisser, and needed some help with using his lips more.
> 
> ...


Amen! I almost married a French girl from Lyon...she taught me a thing or two about kissing....the days of yonder lol.


----------



## aston (Oct 24, 2011)

working_together said:


> So the bad kissing wasn't really a dealbreaker for you then???


It's still a deal breaker....we were both turned on and ready to go...sans kissing:smthumbup:...what can I say lol.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

aston said:


> You're kidding me right?


No, I wasn't kidding. I sincerely wanted to know what you said. 



aston said:


> I calmly pulled back and though she had a puzzled look on her face I calmly said "I prefer a gentler approach to kissing".


Could have said, "I like when we kiss like this..." and showed her through your kisses.

Nonetheless, it could not have been that bad. I mean you say her kissing sucked and she was offended yet:



aston said:


> Needless to say we still screwed with alot less kissing :lol:


I don't understand people. Haha.


----------



## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

aston said:


> It's still a deal breaker....we were both turned on and ready to go...sans kissing:smthumbup:...what can I say lol.


Maybe she can take all that slobber and tongue and put it somewhere else then!!! lol


----------



## aston (Oct 24, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> No, I wasn't kidding. I sincerely wanted to know what you said.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Yes you do


----------



## aston (Oct 24, 2011)

working_together said:


> Maybe she can take all that slobber and tongue and put it somewhere else then!!! lol


haha that would be like a female Gene Simmons sans costume:lol:


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Gene Simmons scares me.

Nice tongue, though.


----------



## aston (Oct 24, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Gene Simmons scares me.
> 
> Nice tongue, though.


Perhaps thats why his now wife put up with him that long lol:rofl:


----------



## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

RandomDude said:


> First kiss means EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRYTHING to most women



Then big oops  my first kiss was a disaster , VERY embarrassing .
l basically squashed her face with my mouth .
Thought about it all night, gonna do it gonna do it and she'll think l'm so cool, got this sex stuff all stitched up, not :rofl:
l basically panicked and l'm thinking, it's now or never , gotta put this puppy to bed - *** , wasn't pretty :scratchhead:


----------



## Unique Username (Jul 6, 2013)

Did I already say YES this is a Deal Breaker?!


----------

