# Am i doing something wrong?



## The Confused One (Dec 28, 2014)

Hello,

I have been married now for 18 years and been together for 22 years. Everything is going well except the part that I can no longer make my wife orgasm. It is annoying me greatly. Now my wife has decided that she would like to see a woman in a bi sexual relationship as when they play the girl gives her the orgasm that she so deeply needs. I feel like a loser and crap for not being able to pleasure my wife. I have looked up sites on how to find the g spot but nothing works.
Please help me?

Cheers


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

What are your thoughts on her being with women? I mean if you still rocked her O world, is that something you'd be okay with?

Ah I see your other thread. There again it seems like you're worried about not being able to satisfy her more than anything else. So in your mind is she cheating or are you just insecure that she's going to leave you for the woman?


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## The Confused One (Dec 28, 2014)

I am worried that I can not satisfy her and also that 1 day she may leave me for this women. She is not cheating because she told me. I was just shell shocked. My thoughts on her with another women well firstly im worried they will spread something between them both and then I get it. Secondly in a way I think its a bit kinky if I could watch of course. I really need to meet this women to put my mind at rest.


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## anja (Mar 12, 2013)

The Confused One said:


> She is not cheating because she told me.


:scratchhead:

Urban dictionary: 
*Cheating*
When one person has a significant other and performs any type of intimate acts with another person.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

The Confused One said:


> I am worried that I can not satisfy her and also that 1 day she may leave me for this women. She is not cheating because she told me. I was just shell shocked. My thoughts on her with another women well firstly im worried they will spread something between them both and then I get it. Secondly in a way I think its a bit kinky if I could watch of course. I really need to meet this women to put my mind at rest.


I kind of thought that but wasn't sure. Okay personal boundaries still apply. Maybe sex with her isn't the boundary but it sounds like your wife is doing whatever she wants to and not asking you about it beforehand. That sounds like betrayal (ie:cheating) to me. I think you're rug sweeping this into lesser of a problem.


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## chaos (Mar 9, 2012)

You know it easy to say "If I was in your shoes, I would..." but I can probably say with a certain amount of certainty, that my sexual desire for my wife would drop to absolute zero if she dropped the bomb that she was/or was going to engage in a sexual affair with another woman. I would also file for divorce since I refuse to be part of a sexual triad. But that's just me, maybe you are different and can eventually accept to live with it.


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

I suspect it's an issue of her no longer being that in to you. And there she goes to find another sexual partner to prove it. 

You can read all you want but if she isn't aroused by you it's not going to happen. Since its something that bothers you she may also be harboring resentment and not wanting to give you that satisfaction. Passive aggressive behavior.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

If she already has permission to have a lover..... what's to stop her from finding a male lover next? THEN would it be cheating? THEN would it be ok? 

I think, unless you can agree to have a completely open marriage where you both discuss everything and come up with a set of "rules" or boundries..... Then this one sided deal is going to flop and you are going to get burned.


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## Melvynman (Mar 19, 2014)

You might want to take a sit! I am going to give some information that is going be troubling for most. Journal of America Medical Association published a study that 43% percent of America women are sexually dysfunctional with is no medical cure! 

You have been brained washed into believing that one day you will find true love and live happily ever after. She married believing like you she would one day fall in love and live happily ever after. Our society does not allow her to be the sexual promiscuous animal evolution designed. If she stays monogamous she will most likely get what is called hypoactive sexual desire disorder. Not being able to have orgasms with you is the early stages. NO CURE if she stays monogamous. We live in a society that teaches human sexuality by hearsay. 

When she tells you its not you its her, she is telling the truth. Good luck!


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## The Confused One (Dec 28, 2014)

nyzpaozhi said:


> I was just shell shocked. My thoughts on her with another women well firstly im worried they will spread something between them both and then I get it.


Are u in the same situation as me with your wife going with another female? Well they are either upfront about it or they do it behind your back. We can say "No" but in the end we are powerless to stop them. I think if they are upfront then you can discuss safe sex, tests for std's etc.


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

OP,
I responded to your other post and then I saw this. What in the name of all things good are you confused about? Your wife is moving on. I know that is hard to hear but it is a fact. When you no longer "did it for her" she decided to find someone who does. 

She is unclear on what a monogamous relationship is or she doesn't care. However, she is in one (supposed to be) so that is problematic. Either way, unless you have changed drastically then she should be able to have her Os like before unless she has changed as in moving on. I regret saying this but I think you know it's true. And if her heart is not in it then you are fighting a losing battle. If she has lost enough concern for your feelings so as to have this A then she is checking/checked out. Sorry.


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## DestinyinTexas (Dec 29, 2014)

Going outside of a marriage in any way isn't the answer and letting her do that isn't going to fix anything and she will probably leave you for this other woman. 

I would ask her to let you two work on each other in the bedroom or it's over. If she comes back you know the truth, if she doesn't it might be time to move on and save yourself a lot of trouble in the future of not knowing. Good luck


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Your wife is having an affair. She is emotionally and sexually shut down to you.


She will need ot end the affair and all contact with her affair partner because you two can reestablish our emotional/sexual connection.


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## The Confused One (Dec 28, 2014)

My wife is still intimate with me alot.
The other woman is married to a man and wants female on female fun/affection like my wife wants.
My wife reassures me she will never leave to be with another woman.


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## JWTBL (May 28, 2014)

No wonder you're confused!


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Are you using the techniques she tells you the other woman is using? 

Ask her if you're to forceful?

How did you used to make her orgasm that doesn't work now?

Did you satisfy her through oral sex?


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

So you have effectively agreed to an open marriage. Are you sure she is seeing another woman?

What proof have you had. She could very well be screwing another man and told you otherwise.

Either way this does not sit well for you. Your wife is disrespecting you and your marriage and you have shown great weakness that you are prepared to stand by and accept this.

I bet this has raised your attraction stocks towards her to no end.

Sorry to be a bit harsh but you need to gain back your self respect.

You are right when you say you cant stop her behavour but you sure as hell can choose on whether or not you will tolerate it.


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## The Confused One (Dec 28, 2014)

I have told her if she is having sex with another woman I want nothing of it. She tells me she has called it off and of course blamed me for it. Its very quiet around the house now with her not talking to me.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

You might want to remind her that a marriage consist of two people not three, otherwise it gets crowded.


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## ToothFairy (May 19, 2013)

Forget about the Gspot -- it's all about the clit.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

The Confused One said:


> My wife is still intimate with me alot.
> The other woman is married to a man and wants female on female fun/affection like my wife wants.
> My wife reassures me she will never leave to be with another woman.


It's still an affair .. an affair with another woman. Your wife is sulking now... because there is an emotional attachment to the other woman.


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## Melvynman (Mar 19, 2014)

Try banging your chest and roaring loud while massaging the G-spot. If that doesn't produce orgasm for her your situation is hopeless.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

I'm going to guess that she was more leaning towards being a lesbian for a long time. When she began acting on those feelings (with your blessing), she found less of a need for you when it came to sex. She's probably just going through the motions with you because in the end she was connecting better (and getting what she needed) with her female lover.


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