# Still struggling….



## Ldziesinski (Nov 18, 2021)

My divorce has been final since April. I’m in therapy but I am still having some trouble. My ex was so cold. I caught him in the very least an emotional affair with his coworker. It only went down hill from there. He told me he never loved me from our very first date he knew I was not the one for him. And only stayed because he had no where else to go. Not true. He was not handcuffed in a basement. Again only down hill from there. He has been so cruel, his friends made fake social media accounts to come after me for “being mean to him”. I just don’t understand how after all of those years , you could be so cruel. I’ve been called every name in the book. He has made getting my belongings a nightmare ect. He ran me over and broke my foot. And not one ounce of remorse.


----------



## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

This sounds so terrible, no one deserves to live like this. I'm sorry you went through all that, but know that with patience, time and effort, you will heal. You won't need to know why he did this or that, you'll just be moved on. But, it takes time, and finding yourself again. When you have empathy for others, it's very confusing to see it missing in others.


----------



## Ldziesinski (Nov 18, 2021)

*Deidre* said:


> This sounds so terrible, no one deserves to live like this. I'm sorry you went through all that, but know that with patience, time and effort, you will heal. You won't need to know why he did this or that, you'll just be moved on. But, it takes time, and finding yourself again. When you have empathy for others, it's very confusing to see it missing in others.


It’s just the oddest thing because it’s like he hates me. And I’m over here like wtf I was focused on you and building our life together and being a good wife I’m not sure why I’m hated.


----------



## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

Ldziesinski said:


> It’s just the oddest thing because it’s like he hates me. And I’m over here like wtf I was focused on you and building our life together and being a good wife I’m not sure why I’m hated.


It's not you. He probably never learned how to love someone. He never learned empathy. I think that no matter who he is with, the result will be the same. He sounds abusive, and while it hurts now, you'll see someday that leaving him was the right thing to do. Part of your healing too will be in forgiving yourself for staying longer than you probably should have. You probably had hope that he'd change, but these types of people really don't change. I don't know if they know how to change. Stay strong, and maybe find a new counselor if you're feeling stuck with this one.


----------



## 342693 (Mar 2, 2020)

You will never understand a cheater, so stop trying. They lie constantly. Of course he loved you, but in his sick twisted mind, he’s trying to justify his affair by blaming you. 

You are divorced and didn’t mention kids. So cut off ALL contact with him. Block his number if you have to. He’s in your past, leave him there. 

Focus on you. Buy some new clothes, start exercising and take up some new hobbies. You are free from your garage of an ex. Don’t look back. Know your worth and eventually you will find a real man that will treat you the way you deserve. Perhaps look into counseling. That worked wonders for me.


----------

