# please respond 15 yrs may be over 2-day so sorry it long



## ineedhelp (Jan 18, 2009)

im very lost and not sure what to do ill try to explain and cover everything while keeping it as short as possible.

i was 17 years old going to my girlfriends high school senior promfrom the start her parents hated me , ( i had smoked weed at the time and that was it enuff for some but i was not a bad kid - her mother accused me of being a dealer and an abuser and that i would screw up her daughters life and worse.) so when i picked her up for the prom her parents would not even take a picture with us together i had to stand aside while they took pictures of the rest of the prom party! we went to the prom and had a great time , i was a perfect gentleman and had her home safe on time drug free and alchol free . when i dropped her off we kissed goodnight and i watched her walk away ( truley love at first site for me ). as she entered the house her parents started to scream at her telling her to choose me or them i stayed outside and out of site , she choose me and soon was walkinf from her house into my arms .
i wa s17 i didnt know what 2 do i hadnt graduated hs or anything so we went 2 a hotel mind u nothing happened because i did not let it ( truth ) i did not want our first time to be under those circumstances - iwas raised better / i have values. for weeks we lived in hotels untill we realized this may be 4 ever so we moved in with friends ( oh boy ) long story short she left me on my birthday because her friends boyfriend who smoked weed but his geirl did not know said the lanlord smelled weed on me coming in to the house ( not true it was him i was not even there). time goes by she calls wants me back - i take her arms wide open! months go by and again she leaves blaming not having her family to difficult. ok i understand now not then ask her not togo but she does , weeks later she asks to come back. i yeargoes by no contact with family they have disowned her - we get pregnant - we were talked into an abortion ( awww) by friends and family and of course our fears !
3 months later same thing pregnant again we were not going to be talked out this time my son was born -best day of my life>
oops forgot 4 months intothe pregnancy her mother convinced me to let her daughter come home and take a break from eachother ! i say convince because she assured me it was not to break us up but to ease the stress on the pregnancy which there was alot because she did not have her family( not from me i supported her well at 18 years old took care off her the best i could . i of course agreed to letting her go home because i knew how much she missed her family and that it might be good for the pregnacy! come to find out her moms intentions were to get her to forget me , forcing her to go out with other men in which she slept with unprotected 4 months pregnant! ( aww) 2 months go by she calls - after she came and moved all her stuff out and i almost gave up on life - and wants to be back - itell her theres nothing in the world i want more ! as time goes by i def have trust issues and insecurities iwas pretty miserable inside and probably on the outside to those who knew me i worked threw it -worked my ass off to provide everything 95 hours per week and yes when iwas home iwas helping with my son who i loved dearly ( very little sleep during that time ).
my parents divorced when i was 6 and i def have trust and loyalty issues then throw atop what transpired with us - i probably was at best difficult. time moves foward 1st year bday no parents ( also not at hospital during delivery) no xmas cards , 2nd bday no parents , 3rd bday no parents . other then the no parents thing life could not be better or happier relationship is great minus , my wandering mind ( dam-it ). we move forward parents want daughter and granson back in there life -still not me want them 2 go over on xmas day i say go not really but i didnt say not to - she said no on her own but im sure she knew how i felt ( i was hurt ) as was she ! time goes by and they agree to accept me - slow process at first but i tried my hardest to accept them ( truth ) - no apology from them no we were wrong about you nothing . it never happened!
during the next few years she has her family back and for her things r great i have my convictions but honestly happy for her!
she complained of a coworker harassing her sexually once next thing i know shes out at a club with her friends and the sister of my best friend - she invited this guy and his friend to set up with her friend next thing you know she is dirty dancing with him on the dance floor - told to me and confirmed by her from thy siters friend ( ouch ). and so we move on everyday shes with this guy at work ( aww) . oh well love will conqeur! again im at best difficult with feelings of betrayal, insecurities and so on ! ( i am no angel nor am i innocent ) though to date have never strayed even under the microscope so to speak not even alittle - and not cause i cant but becuase iwas raised to do on to others what you want done on to you ! ( truth) 
time goes on she gets drunk for the first time and asks my bets friend to sleep with her -he say no - he tells me - hurt and emotional we move on ! my love is very pretty and well built she must get hit on alot ( thats hard for my insecurties ) but not her fault . as far as i know she has not ever been unfaithful
because technicaly while she was pregnat we werent together!
ive probably acuused her 3 times a year with one of those times starting with her accussing me . ( like i said im not innocent ) for the last 3 years no accussing has gone on maybe more then 3 years ! lots a crap with her family all the stupid little thing that dont really matter, or a re crossed out because of my familys stupid things ( you know ). forgot to mention 5 years ago we bought family land together ( my family ) and built a beautiful home a nice colonial 3 acers of land i built a basketball court int he yard for my now 13 year old son whom i love with all my heart! we have 2 dogs that we love ! im sorry bout how long this is if anyone has gotten this far! to the point enuff history i think - 3 months ago iwas depressed bad fera of lossin my job going to school and moving my nephew and sister into my home for safety reasons ( oh man whole nother story ) trust me that one is better left disclosed any way im at my breaking point - i couldnt get lower without danger ( im certain iwas an ass at best) i didnt even like me i cant see why any one else would ! am i over it for the past month ive been on cruise control not depressed openly and not anybodies hero !
but to myself iwas considerably in a better place !which brings me to 2 days ago as i was going threw our cell phone bill ( i noticed alot of text messages to the same number at night when my love was suposedly sleeping , and of course after work during work before work whenever she could even the bathroom. ( awwe ) . for 2 days i mulled what to do i did not want 2 ( and i did want 2 ) call her on it for fear of ending what i feel is my life with her! at the time i call her on it she discloses that she was already goint to leave me she was no longer happy- one reason being that i have a dfficult time enjoying her familys company. ( mind you they do everyting for her threes isters and husbands but zero for us and i do mean zero). the consensus is im just there because they cant have her without me ! ( thaat a sucky feeling ). the other reasons being the norm no affection , no love , too much history period !

i love her ( i think ) , i love my son , i love the dogs ( cant 4 get them there a big part of each of our lives ) 

by the way i forgot to mention that she says nothing happened with this guy shes texting - though he wants to be with her physically .

i believe her probably because i told her i could read her deleted text incoming and outgoing if i wanted to and i could , but i have not done so- she says i should before i decide to say i want to be here! 

thats my problem i do and i dont ! 

do - for love for son for the life ive known 15 yaers
dont - trust ,convictions , insecurities , her family , 
(the past hurts)- because she has to go to work with this man every day ( shes there now ) im ok right now with it but prob cause im consumed with the thought of destroying this family!

please what do you think about the (situaution) ultimately the final to do or not do will be on me ( maybe ) maybe not she may give me no choice !


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

ineedhelp, Your wife is a serial cheater. That means that she will do it over and over and over again. You have been married for 15 years. She will not change. She has short periods of fidelity only to screw the next guy. You have shown her time and again, that she can treat you anyway she wants and you will take it. So obviously trying to love her out of her cheating ways has not worked. She cheated when she was pregnant with your son. You have cheated on her or whatever "I'm not innocent" means. She needs to go. Don't worry though. She will be back after she gets her fill of this guy. If I were you and you wanted any chance of getting her back. Take your son and move away. She may not even fight you over this. Her family has encouraged her to become a **** in hopes she will find someone other then you. These are the facts. Tell her to choose and if she chooses him. Tell her to go back and live with her parents. They will gladly take her in. Do not sugarcoat this with your son. He will follow your example. Tell him why your wife left you. and that she will say she wasn't happy. But the fact is she wants to sleep with other people. Get your BFF to confirm this. He needs to know that you are not the one breaking up the family. This is something you haven't experienced with her. It called truth. You have followed her around like a whipped puppy and lost any self respect you had.
Man up and kick her to the curb.

That's one way. The other way is to let her go and screw these other guys until she gets bored and may come back to you till the next guy or best friend comes along. I guess it all depends on what you are willing to put up with from her. Dump her and find someone who will be true. I would rather have someone I can trust and like then someone who cheats and I love.


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## ineedhelp (Jan 18, 2009)

Initfortheduration said:


> ineedhelp, Your wife is a serial cheater. That means that she will do it over and over and over again. You have been married for 15 years. She will not change. She has short periods of fidelity only to screw the next guy. You have shown her time and again, that she can treat you anyway she wants and you will take it. So obviously trying to love her out of her cheating ways has not worked. She cheated when she was pregnant with your son. You have cheated on her or whatever "I'm not innocent" means. She needs to go. Don't worry though. She will be back after she gets her fill of this guy. If I were you and you wanted any chance of getting her back. Take your son and move away. She may not even fight you over this. Her family has encouraged her to become a **** in hopes she will find someone other then you. These are the facts. Tell her to choose and if she chooses him. Tell her to go back and live with her parents. They will gladly take her in. Do not sugarcoat this with your son. He will follow your example. Tell him why your wife left you. and that she will say she wasn't happy. But the fact is she wants to sleep with other people. Get your BFF to confirm this. He needs to know that you are not the one breaking up the family. This is something you haven't experienced with her. It called truth. You have followed her around like a whipped puppy and lost any self respect you had.
> Man up and kick her to the curb.
> 
> That's one way. The other way is to let her go and screw these other guys until she gets bored and may come back to you till the next guy or best friend comes along. I guess it all depends on what you are willing to put up with from her. Dump her and find someone who will be true. I would rather have someone I can trust and like then someone who cheats and I love.


thank you for your reply i appreciate it


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

I just hate seeing someone that loves so much being crapped on by someone who loves so little.


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## ineedhelp (Jan 18, 2009)

Initfortheduration said:


> I just hate seeing someone that loves so much being crapped on by someone who loves so little.


thank you for reading pretty good sentence there sums up the feeling i have .................................................................


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## T.O.girl (Dec 18, 2008)

like Initfortheduration mentioned, ur wife is a serial cheater. even tho u were eparated when she cheated, you weren't divorced so that's still cheating. no one is perfect, and i'm sure u are not, so she can always find a reason to temporarily separate from so she can go ahead and cheat and once she's done, come back to u. if you can handle all this, then u should stay in the relation but i don't think this relationship is healthy for you as u have a very sensitive, fragile heart...take ur son and find somoene else who will appreciate u


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