# I love him but not the gambling



## looking4support (Sep 12, 2011)

So I am not sure what to do anymore. My husband gambles when he gets depressed and it seems like its a never ending cycle anymore. I tried being mad, sad, angry, depressed and completely uncaring. Nothing works and it seems that he is going to do what he is going to do no matter how much it hurts me or our family. 
He used to try to hide it, but now he doesn't even try. I can log onto our bank account while he's out and see what he's doing, call him and he acts like its no big deal. Almost like he was ordering fried chicken and nothing more. It is driving me crazy! I tried to leave him two days ago and he talked me out of it. Last night he blew another $100.
I don't see any other posts on here about gambling. Has anyone else had success with a gambler getting better? or is it pretty much a hopless cause?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Have you done any reading up on gambling addiction? It's real and it destroys people and families.

That's where I would start.. .education yourself on the people, the support groups, if there is any medical intervention like medication for OCD.

For your finances, open a seperate checking/savings account that your husband cannot access. Put as much money in the account to support you and your children. 

There are probably support groups for spouses of addicted gamblers. They will have other ideas for you.

Do you work outside the home? If so do not put your income into a joint account. If not then start working towards something so that you can support yourself and your children.


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## RandomReward (Mar 23, 2012)

I know it sounds strange, but gambling is an addiction like any other. So you have to treat it like one. An addiction to drugs is often much more acccepted than an addiction to gambling. If I told you I use heroin or cocaine all the time you would probably call me a drug addict. If I told you I gamble all the time you would probably call me an idiot. People are hard on gamblers because they don't understand why they don't just stop. 

Both drugs obviously affect the brain because you are shoving chemicals in your body that wouldn't normally be there. Gambling works more on natural body chemistry. When a gambling addict first gambles they feel excitment and maybe even an addreneline rush. The thought of winning money at any second is very rewarding to them. This releases chemicals in their brain that makes them happy. The next time a potential gambling addict is feeling down or sad they decided to go to the casino because they had fun the last time. Sure enough, this triggers those chemical responses and they feel good again. Most gambling addicts have some sort of depression before their gaming addiction. Gambling starts off as a coping mechanism and slowly turns into a need. 

The best thing you can do is not cause a fight. If he goes there when he's sad, depressed or stressed this will just push him closer to the casino doors. The first thing he has to do is admit he needs help. This is why gambling addiction is so dangerous. It can be hard for people to addmit that. I'm not sure where you are from, but there should be information or gambling hot lines to assist. Some Casinos even have on site responsible gaming counselors. Look up the signs of gaming addiction and become familiar with them. Chasing loses, lieing about gambling, spending more than he can afford ect. I know here some casinos you can "sign yourself out". This means you are not allowed to enter the facility because you have a problem. 

Trust me, he needs your support, not your anger.


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