# Attempted WS Story/Recovery



## MAJDEATH

Last night I went out with an old friend. He is divorced and looking, I was acting as a wing-man. He meets a lady and starts talking to her, I tried to help by talking him up to her girlfriend standing close-by. Turns out the girlfriend is actually a younger sister, and she is a military spouse with a husband who is deployed. 

She tries to open our conversation by flirting with me, but being the old married guy (20 yrs), I quickly notice her ring and ask how long she has been married: to show her I have no interest in trying to pick her up. She is obviously drunk and looking to have fun with whatever guy wants to, while continuing to pound drinks.

So I engage in conversation and let her know I am an old married guy, and that I too was in the military and I know how hard it is for the wives to deal with the deployments. She shows me pictures of her husband and their 2 kids and I thank her for the sacrifice and that it will get better with time. They have been married 7 yrs. Apparently they also are having some marriage difficulties with finance and parenting. I show her some internet support sites to help with that. 

Her older sister has never been married, no kids, and doesn't understand the difficulties of being married into the military. She just wanted them to go out and have fun. 

Our discussion eventually gets back around to what she is doing out at a bar/nightclub. I get her to stop the alcoholic drinks, start drinking some water to hydrate, and think about her husband and family until her sister is ready to go. It's alright to have fun but maintain the big perspective. I told her she should tell her husband that she met a really nice married former military officer and he gave her some positive and uplifting advice, and kept her from making a mistake with some Jody. 

She started happy crying and big sister tried to give me some grief about that, but I tried to explain that based on what I've learned on my life's journey, I was trying to help her sister. It did remind me of my own story and the difficulties of how my wife dealt with my own deployment absences. I think in the end it made her feel better to know that she wasn't alone and that others were understanding and supportive. I also told her quit telling strange guys you meet that your husband is gone! She agreed. We talked for about 2 hours total, and at the end she started asking me personal questions about where I work, my family, etc. I was careful not to reveal too much because I wasn't sure of her motivations because I was only trying to help and didn't want her drunk mind to get the wrong idea. 

My friend did get a phone number from the sister so I guess the night was successful for him, and for me. Let's hope she pays-it-forward to the next military couple in 20 years.


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## MarriedDude

MAJDEATH said:


> Last night I went out with an old friend. He is divorced and looking, I was acting as a wing-man. He meets a lady and starts talking to her, I tried to help by talking him up to her girlfriend standing close-by. Turns out the girlfriend is actually a younger sister, and she is a military spouse with a husband who is deployed.
> 
> She tries to open our conversation by flirting with me, but being the old married guy (20 yrs), I quickly notice her ring and ask how long she has been married: to show her I have no interest in trying to pick her up. *She is obviously drunk and looking to have fun with whatever guy wants to, while continuing to pound drinks.*
> 
> So I engage in conversation and let her know I am an old married guy, and that I too was in the military and I know how hard it is for the wives to deal with the deployments. She shows me pictures of her husband and their 2 kids and I thank her for the sacrifice and that it will get better with time. They have been married 7 yrs. Apparently they also are having some marriage difficulties with finance and parenting. I show her some internet support sites to help with that.
> 
> Her older sister has never been married, no kids, and doesn't understand the difficulties of being married into the military. She just wanted them to go out and have fun.
> 
> Our discussion eventually gets back around to what she is doing out at a bar/nightclub. I get her to stop the alcoholic drinks, start drinking some water to hydrate, and think about her husband and family until her sister is ready to go. It's alright to have fun but maintain the big perspective. I told her she should tell her husband that she met a really nice married former military officer and he gave her some positive and uplifting advice, and kept her from making a mistake with some Jody.
> 
> She started happy crying and big sister tried to give me some grief about that, but I tried to explain that based on what I've learned on my life's journey, I was trying to help her sister. It did remind me of my own story and the difficulties of how my wife dealt with my own deployment absences. I think in the end it made her feel better to know that she wasn't alone and that others were understanding and supportive. I also told her quit telling strange guys you meet that your husband is gone! She agreed. We talked for about 2 hours total, and at the end she started asking me personal questions about where I work, my family, etc. I was careful not to reveal too much because I wasn't sure of her motivations because I was only trying to help and didn't want her drunk mind to get the wrong idea.
> 
> My friend did get a phone number from the sister so I guess the night was successful for him, and for me. Let's hope she pays-it-forward to the next military couple in 20 years.


Whatever your intentions were....it was a waste of time given the circumstances. She probably won't remember....OR if she does and describes this to her husband...it's not gonna turn out good.


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## MAJDEATH

Well I did my part to try and help, but who knows what the results will be. She'll probably be back out there this weekend, doing the same thing.


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## sokillme

MAJDEATH said:


> Last night I went out with an old friend. He is divorced and looking, I was acting as a wing-man. He meets a lady and starts talking to her, I tried to help by talking him up to her girlfriend standing close-by. Turns out the girlfriend is actually a younger sister, and she is a military spouse with a husband who is deployed.
> 
> She tries to open our conversation by flirting with me, but being the old married guy (20 yrs), I quickly notice her ring and ask how long she has been married: to show her I have no interest in trying to pick her up. She is obviously drunk and looking to have fun with whatever guy wants to, while continuing to pound drinks.
> 
> So I engage in conversation and let her know I am an old married guy, and that I too was in the military and I know how hard it is for the wives to deal with the deployments. She shows me pictures of her husband and their 2 kids and I thank her for the sacrifice and that it will get better with time. They have been married 7 yrs. Apparently they also are having some marriage difficulties with finance and parenting. I show her some internet support sites to help with that.
> 
> Her older sister has never been married, no kids, and doesn't understand the difficulties of being married into the military. She just wanted them to go out and have fun.
> 
> Our discussion eventually gets back around to what she is doing out at a bar/nightclub. I get her to stop the alcoholic drinks, start drinking some water to hydrate, and think about her husband and family until her sister is ready to go. It's alright to have fun but maintain the big perspective. I told her she should tell her husband that she met a really nice married former military officer and he gave her some positive and uplifting advice, and kept her from making a mistake with some Jody.
> 
> She started happy crying and big sister tried to give me some grief about that, but I tried to explain that based on what I've learned on my life's journey, I was trying to help her sister. It did remind me of my own story and the difficulties of how my wife dealt with my own deployment absences. I think in the end it made her feel better to know that she wasn't alone and that others were understanding and supportive. I also told her quit telling strange guys you meet that your husband is gone! She agreed. We talked for about 2 hours total, and at the end she started asking me personal questions about where I work, my family, etc. I was careful not to reveal too much because I wasn't sure of her motivations because I was only trying to help and didn't want her drunk mind to get the wrong idea.
> 
> My friend did get a phone number from the sister so I guess the night was successful for him, and for me. Let's hope she pays-it-forward to the next military couple in 20 years.


Tell your friend birds of a feather.


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## MattMatt

You did what you could. No shame in that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MAJDEATH

sokillme said:


> MAJDEATH said:
> 
> 
> 
> Last night I went out with an old friend. He is divorced and looking, I was acting as a wing-man. He meets a lady and starts talking to her, I tried to help by talking him up to her girlfriend standing close-by. Turns out the girlfriend is actually a younger sister, and she is a military spouse with a husband who is deployed.
> 
> She tries to open our conversation by flirting with me, but being the old married guy (20 yrs), I quickly notice her ring and ask how long she has been married: to show her I have no interest in trying to pick her up. She is obviously drunk and looking to have fun with whatever guy wants to, while continuing to pound drinks.
> 
> So I engage in conversation and let her know I am an old married guy, and that I too was in the military and I know how hard it is for the wives to deal with the deployments. She shows me pictures of her husband and their 2 kids and I thank her for the sacrifice and that it will get better with time. They have been married 7 yrs. Apparently they also are having some marriage difficulties with finance and parenting. I show her some internet support sites to help with that.
> 
> Her older sister has never been married, no kids, and doesn't understand the difficulties of being married into the military. She just wanted them to go out and have fun.
> 
> Our discussion eventually gets back around to what she is doing out at a bar/nightclub. I get her to stop the alcoholic drinks, start drinking some water to hydrate, and think about her husband and family until her sister is ready to go. It's alright to have fun but maintain the big perspective. I told her she should tell her husband that she met a really nice married former military officer and he gave her some positive and uplifting advice, and kept her from making a mistake with some Jody.
> 
> She started happy crying and big sister tried to give me some grief about that, but I tried to explain that based on what I've learned on my life's journey, I was trying to help her sister. It did remind me of my own story and the difficulties of how my wife dealt with my own deployment absences. I think in the end it made her feel better to know that she wasn't alone and that others were understanding and supportive. I also told her quit telling strange guys you meet that your husband is gone! She agreed. We talked for about 2 hours total, and at the end she started asking me personal questions about where I work, my family, etc. I was careful not to reveal too much because I wasn't sure of her motivations because I was only trying to help and didn't want her drunk mind to get the wrong idea.
> 
> My friend did get a phone number from the sister so I guess the night was successful for him, and for me. Let's hope she pays-it-forward to the next military couple in 20 years.
> 
> 
> 
> Tell your friend birds of a feather.
Click to expand...

???


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## Emerging Buddhist

At that moment, you were the right guy at the right time.

Whether she takes the lesson to heart the next time will not be known, but that night the difference was made.

Sometimes that's all it takes...


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## MattMatt

MAJDEATH said:


> ???


Apparently sisters aren't supposed to socialise.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Whirlpool

This poll is sort of after the fact and you'll never get an unanimous answer so what do you possibly hope to gain other than escape from boredom.


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## MAJDEATH

I don't know which is a worse feeling: wishing that someone would have encouraged my fWW to straighten up when she had a deployed hubby and was cheating so many years ago, or knowing that a few friends did ask her to straighten up and she either ignored them or tried to sleep with them too.


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## Whirlpool

You're still with this woman who tried to sleep with all your friends?


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## MAJDEATH

Whirlpool said:


> You're still with this woman who tried to sleep with all your friends?


I am still with her, and they were her friends and co-workers.


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## sokillme

MAJDEATH said:


> ???


Here sister is probably a lot like here married sister. You know birds of a feather flock together. In fact her sister is actively encouraging her married sister to go out and meet guys. Not a good choice, actually a very bad choice. He should run away from her as fast as he can.


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## Maricha75

sokillme said:


> Here sister is probably a lot like here married sister. You know birds of a feather flock together. In fact her sister is actively encouraging her married sister to go out and meet guys. Not a good choice, actually a very bad choice. He should run away from her as fast as he can.


Not necessarily. I have friends who do a lot of things I don't... like drinking, smoking (both tobacco and marijuana)... and some of my friends liked to party. I, however, never did any of that. The only time I ever had alcohol, other than a couple sips around the age of my first communion, was as an adult... and even then, it was still sips, and I was in my 30s. And my sisters... one drank and smoked for years. The sister could have brought her sister along just for companionship, or to get her out of the house. You may be right about the sisters, but it is equally likely you are wrong.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk


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## MattMatt

Maricha75 said:


> Not necessarily. I have friends who do a lot of things I don't... like drinking, smoking (both tobacco and marijuana)... and some of my friends liked to party. I, however, never did any of that. The only time I ever had alcohol, other than a couple sips around the age of my first communion, was as an adult... and even then, it was still sips, and I was in my 30s. And my sisters... one drank and smoked for years. The sister could have brought her sister along just for companionship, or to get her out of the house. You may be right about the sisters, but it is equally likely you are wrong.
> 
> Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk


Banned, huh? Sooo.... What's the likelihood of him being wrong, I wonder? 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 225985

Are you going back to the bar the following week?


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## MAJDEATH

blueinbr said:


> Are you going back to the bar the following week?


No, I don't go out drinking very often. It was a one time thing.


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## MAJDEATH

My buddy told me he did get a follow-up date with the sister.


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## TX-SC

Well, you tried. That's better than many would do.


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## rileyawes

MattMatt said:


> Banned, huh? Sooo.... What's the likelihood of him being wrong, I wonder?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I see sokillme's point. The way I read it was that the unmarried sister was giving you grief about lecturing her sister, meaning that she was encouraging her to cheat, or at least not discouraging her from it. It could be, though, that she was just there for support, so she wasn't alone at a bar. If she is the type of person to encourage someone else to cheat, it's likely that she will be less than faithful with your friend.


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