# How important to you are your wedding rings?



## babydollnewly (May 19, 2011)

I have a question to see if I am maybe over reacting, I have been married for 5 months now and my husband always wears his ring, well today I look and he doesn't have it on, so I asked "where is your ring?" He says he took it off cause he was cleaning, which I don't buy cause he is always cleaning and never took it off before, so I say ok now that your done why are you not wearing your ring? And he gave me this crazy look and says " what is wrong with you?", like I am saying something crazy, I just stormed off, i look outside and he is outside talking to his friends with no ring on, I haven't said anything to him for a while now and I haven't looked to see if he put his ring back on, my question is, is it normal to take your ring off once and a while or is it a start to something worse, like he will be taking it off all the time now, I don't know if I am over reacting or not but I never take my ring off and to see it missing from his hand brought me to tears because eveytime I see him I see his ring, my ring means everything to me, just need to hear other voices of reason
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## KanDo (Jun 15, 2011)

Wow,

I routinely remove my wedding ring for safety whenever I am working on any machinery and when using cleaning products. Occasionally I leave it off for a day because of a little irritation. In my opinion you are way overreacting!


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## babydollnewly (May 19, 2011)

He wears his wedding ring to work also, that's why it's making me feel some type of way he has it off, I also don't like his response, it made me feel worse about it, thanks for your honesty
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## FloridaITguy (Nov 4, 2010)

Working around machinery-take it off... Some people have sensitive skin and I could see taking it off when cleaning in case chemicals get trapped in between the ring and the skin. 

Been married 10 years, might be an hour total the ring has been off my finger. I'm too scared I'd lose it!
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## babydollnewly (May 19, 2011)

he is a cook, no need to take it off and he was off today, like i said he is always cleaning, thats what made me a little upset, or a lot upset, maybe if he would have said my finger was irritated so i took it off for a while, ok, but cleaning and then the comment like i am getting on his nerves asking why he doesnt have his wedding ring on, you are done cleaning, why is it still off, he wears it in the shower, to work, everything


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## Rosco (Sep 16, 2011)

I spent a year in Iraq as a contractor and didn't take my ring off the entire time.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Me & my husband have been marrried 22 yrs, we are as close as close could possibly be. For us, taking our wedding rings off is an every day occurance. I would not think a thing about it. If he LOST it, that would upset me, but HOW he treats me every day FAR surpasses what is on his finger. I do not look at it like yourself at all, never have, since the day we marrried. 

He does have a job where he can't wear it . BUt back in the day, that was not an issue, and like your husband, he ALWAYS took it off to clean things, and I think he didn't sleep with it on either. 

I doubt I have ever slept with mine on, every peice of jewelry on my body comes off before I lay down to sleep, while it sits in my bathroom cabinet. To be honest, I only put mine on when we go out somewhere. Him too at this point, I will hand him his when we are getting ready. 

For SOME people (myself included), it really is NO BIG DEAL- at all. He has never been offended, I have never been offended. 

These things have absolutely NOTHING to do with my love for my husband, or my vows to him, that is written on my heart, it wouldn't matter if I had a tin foil ring, or no ring at all. 

*Besides HIS reaction to your getting upset, how does he treat you day to day? This is where your answer lies*. Trust me, people are very different. It could be how you were raised (never seeing your parents remove their rings so this is normal to you), what was taught as acceptable, not acceptable, our temperments, a ton of things, but in no way does this little issue spell disaster or he is being unfaithful, or falling out of love..... at least not to people like ME and my husband. 

So take a sigh of relief. Calmly ask him the why's without accusation and jumping to these conclusions where he felt the need to "defend" himself. That appears to be what happened here, in reading your post. Maybe more is going on under the surface, I don't know, but it is NOT true in all cases of taking a ring off-why I had to respond to this. 

Is it possible when you married, you made comments to NEVER take it off, so he knows how strongly you feel , and has tried to honor that...but maybe deep down, he is kinda like my husband and myself, just didn't find it a big deal -maybe even wanting to PROTECT it, while cleaning. Maybe he would even prefer to not wear it at night -while he sleeps -like us. BUt has kept it on -just cause of how strongly YOU feel. We tend to want to please in all ways when newly married but our true ways of living slowly, ever so slowly start creeping in as the months & years roll by. If my husband felt THAT strongly about rings never being removed, he would have wanted to strangle me, which would have been terribly silly in the scheme of things. 

Just another perspective is all.


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## charlene (Jul 21, 2011)

When we were choosing the rings ,we choose the more expensive ones/ the more beautifull ones/ because we wanted to wear them.
But everytimne we had a fight/which is a 3-4 days long fight/ He takes it off. When i ask about that afterwards, he says something like " i was doing this or that" and i know he''s lying . But that''s just my husband. Oh,and the response you''ve mensioned...mine use it too.


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## uhaul4mybaggage (Jul 20, 2010)

Tell him how you feel about it, without accusing. If you don't talk about it, it will fester.


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## TKBettis0418 (Oct 5, 2011)

i no how u feel a wedding ring is very important to my when my fiance and i got ingadged we both got rings and i would notice when i would go visit him at work that he would most of the time have it off and i asked y and he said so he didnt get it scratched.... he works at walmart come on now and there are tons of females that work there and flirt with him iv found msgs on his fb and how they would act when i was around and i made him block them from his fb and i would check it often needless to say we are no longer together cuz all he did was accuse me of cheating (maybe cuz his guilt) witch i never have and never gave him a reason to think that and he just left one day while i was at the park with our 2 daughters and i was left alone in our rented home with a 2 year old and a newbourn and i had no job. so i had to take care of my kids and move in with my mother now i have a job and hopefully i can save enough money to get my own place.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

I am always taking my ring off. I try to wear it when I leave the house, but not always then either. I hate wearing rings. My action now are a bad example. My wife and I are in a bad place. But I was the same when she was the love of my life. 

My wife doesn't wear her ring now either. It broke or got too small or something. She could buy a cheap replacement if she wanted to (I'm on my 4th, I think). But I think her not wearing it now says a little more, but that's a long story. And if I don't care any more, neither will any of you...


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

W and I hardly ever wear ours. We will wear them for special occasions, holidays, going out, etc., but to us, it's just bling!


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Babydollnewly, I posted a similar thread recently, and I just re-activated it, look in there-I got many responses.


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## likegum (Oct 2, 2011)

We never take ours off. They are simple bands, both the same that we had made due to their odd size. Sometimes just looking at it gives me resolve to get through the tough times.


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## babydollnewly (May 19, 2011)

Thanks for everyone's response, simplyamorous, you have made me feel a little better about the situation, maybe it's because we are newly married or the fact that he never takes it off ( he even sleeps with it on) that threw me, but we have a wonderful marriage so far and a beautiful sex life, I am a creature of habit and I don't like change, it scares me, ( when it comes to certain things), but I not want our rings to become " no big deal" we said vows with these rings, a wedding ring means something, other wise what would be the purpose of them? Not knocking anyone else, or saying your marriages are less important, just for me, I want his ring on his finger, and maybe I am petty or childish but I am bothered by this, I will look and she if he put it back on today
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## babydollnewly (May 19, 2011)

I took a look at your thread f-102 and it was very insightful, I still don't want him not wearing a ring, he even wanted a fancy one with diamonds all around but because his finger was too big ( a 12) I got him one with about 5 rows of diamonds covering the entire top of his ring, thats also a problem, we are not rich and if I took the time and money to buy you a beautiful wedding band and then she you without it? I don't get it nor do I like it, call me insecure but I tend to pay attention to everything whiter it is a sign of a problem is where I get foggy
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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

I would be a little upset if my husband reacted the way yours did, however, if it was an isolated incident I would let it slide. As for my husband and I, we were so broke when we got married we LITERALLY had two gumball machine rings to exchange with our vows. The day of our wedding, my mom surprised us with some nicer Walmart rings, which we used for the ceremony. Afterwards my husband regularly removed his ring as he was uncomfortable with it. I wore mine until the stones fell out! (It now has a place on my keyring . After a few months I took my husband to a jewelry exchange to pick out a new band for him. He was so excited! He got the one he wanted and had it sized and I don't think he has removed it since! Not long after that, he completely surprised me at a family get together with his great-grandmother's ancient heirloom wedding ring.. It has the biggest diamond I've ever seen! I was completely floored but to tell you the truth I am scared to death of losing it, so I rarely wear it. :/
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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

I take mine off every night. Sometimes I forget to put it on in the morning. I haven't noticed myself ending up in bed with another women or the love for my wife diminish when I forget it so I think you're good.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

babydollnewly said:


> Thanks for everyone's response, simplyamorous, you have made me feel a little better about the situation, maybe it's because we are newly married or the fact that he never takes it off ( he even sleeps with it on) that threw me, but we have a wonderful marriage so far and a beautiful sex life, I am a creature of habit and I don't like change, it scares me, ( when it comes to certain things), but I not want our rings to become " no big deal" we said vows with these rings, a wedding ring means something, other wise what would be the purpose of them? Not knocking anyone else, or saying your marriages are less important, just for me, I want his ring on his finger, and maybe I am petty or childish but I am bothered by this, I will look and she if he put it back on today


I think the best thing you can do is .....just talk to him about how deeply you feel.... FOR YOU, his ring ON HIS FINGER represents your entire marraige, HIS love to you , your union, HIS commitment,, and it hurts you inside, makes you question, when he it removes it- for whatever reason. 

Being aware that he may not share "where his ring is at at any given time" as hurtful as you ... should still give you some measrue of peace and to fully get past this incident. Not many here would find your husband an unloving man for this or trying to give you pain intentionally. 

....Once you share your heart ....likely he won't ever remove it again -- knowing how it tares you up inside, he won't want to do this intentionally. 

I think we all have little things that bother us, things that , to others, they may not get our reasoning, but to us, it is HUGE. 

So long as our spouses "get it" -"respect it" and can live with it, all should be good. 

I could likely list some things that would irritate ME that others would think I am being "silly" for. One is secrets. If my husband EVER refused to answer a question I had- even if about his past, an old girlfriend, whatever, if he pushed me away, like I didn't need to know-it's in the past.... I would be hurt by that ....and mad. I wouldn't like it at all. His "willingness" to share IS love, without that, I would see it as "rejection" somehow. 

To others, I would be seen as being "rediculous" as we all have our "personal secrets" but for me ....I am the type who wants total transparency, my husband knows I am "like this" -he accepts me, it works for us. 

Only example I could think of at the top of my head! 

I take it his ring is back on his finger ?


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## Triumph (Oct 8, 2011)

Been married 2.5 years, stopped wearing my ring after the first 2 weeks. I realize this doesnt provide helpful insight into your issues, but it does showcase that some guys dont wear rings, and just because he isnt wearing a ring doesnt mean hes cheating/ flirting with other girls.


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## chattycathy (Aug 19, 2011)

You shouldn't fly off the handle and get upset when he doesn't wear it.
You should tell him "Please wear it. It means so much to me that you do."


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## SadieBrown (Mar 16, 2011)

chattycathy said:


> You shouldn't fly off the handle and get upset when he doesn't wear it.
> You should tell him "Please wear it. It means so much to me that you do."



:iagree::iagree:

Talk to him and tell him how it makes you feel when he doesn't wear the ring. Maybe he just doesn't know what it means to you when he doesn't. 

If he continues to not wear it after you have _calmly_ told him how you feel about it then perhaps you have a problem, but right now I don't think you do.


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## timbre (Oct 3, 2011)

Married 10 years Both of us have days where we don't have our rings on.

I've come close to destroying mine a few times. I've welded the wire of my wire feed welder to my ring, I've crushed it where it had to be cut off my hand to get fixed... I've dented it, dinged it... had it catch on a machine and almost take my finger off... but it stays there. I just have to be more careful of what I'm doing.

that said... yea I take it off from time to time. Does it mean I'm out messin around... Nope. just leting my finger breathe or working on some project. but it does go back on as soon as I am finished with whatever I am doing.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Not important at all


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## babydollnewly (May 19, 2011)

Yes, simplyamorous, his ring is back on his finger! Where it belongs. I talked to him about it, I told him the only reason I am making a big deal out of this is because I don't want this to become a habit, you start taking it off and I let it slide, the next thing you know it's coming off more often and then, either it's lost or it's " no big deal" as others have put it. He said he cleaned it and while he was cleaning up he kept it off till he showered to put it back on, so after that I was fine, and you are right everyone has something that bothers them, to some it maybe small but to ME, this is not small. When I see his ring, I see me, I see our wedding day when I said my vows and I put that ring on his finger, when people see it, they see a married man, just like my ring shows I am a married women, that's a SYMBOL of my love and commitment on his finger and that's where it should be. Now maybe in 10-20 years of marriage I won't feel as strong ( but I doubt it), but now it's important to me and he knows it now, he thought I was just trying to pick a fight not knowing it really bothered me. Thanks for everyone's feedback, wether you agree with me or not I appreciate different views on this subject
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## babydollnewly (May 19, 2011)

Chattycathy your right, I need to learn how to communicate my feelings better, it just hurt me to see it off, and because he has to wear it everyday, I bought him a beautiful ring with 5 rows of diamonds so he would have something beautiful to look at, so it took me aback, but I will do better and not jump out the window with every little thing, and this forum is the first step to helping with that. Timbre I love that as soon as you are done whatever, it goes right back on, you damn near lost a finger but it's still there, that's how important my rings are to me, does it mean my marriage is doomed or he hates me if we didn't wear them? No, and I don't think he is cheating on me, but I want his ring to be important to him and to have his ring on feels like he has a piece of me with him, just like one of those necklaces with the two halfs of a heart and one person wears one and the other wears the other half, and the necklace together makes a whole heart, and lastly I want to feel like he wants the world to know he is married and he is proud to wear his ring 
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