# Is there such a thing as a faithful man?



## mishu143 (Jun 20, 2011)

I am of hispanic origin and it seems that it is an accepted fact that men will cheat. I do not agree with this at all but it seems like the explanation is always the same... 

"its a way to get out of the routine"

"as long as he comes home to you who cares"

"all men will do it"

"all men cheat, just some of them get caught, while others never do"

is this true? Is there no faithful men out there? really?


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## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)

You can see from this board that most of the cheated on are men, so yes there are alot of good faithful men out there.

But there's something with the ladies and their bad boys I guess.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Neither I nor any of my 4 brothers have ever cheated, nor do any of my local buddies. But what did I and 2 of my brothers and 3 of my friends get for being faithful? Cheating wives. In fact this my 2nd marriage and my first wife cheated on me too. Times have changed. GNOs to clubs, workplace affairs, etc, so my question is there any faithful women out there?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Meatpuppet (Jan 2, 2012)

Is there any such thing as a faithful *spouse*?

I think given current statistics, this question would be more appropriate. 

*One in five married women has had a fling -- the highest numbers ever recorded, according to one group of researchers. In fact, the numbers of cheating wives now equals the statistics on cheating husbands, according to a study by Tom W. Smith with the National Opinion Research Center.*

From Cheating Wives: Women and Infidelity


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

I have always been faithful...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## snap (Oct 3, 2011)

It has nothing to do with race or gender really, it is what kind of people you talk to. In some circles infidelity is a part of machismo, in others it is really frowned upon.


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## FourtyPlus (Dec 18, 2011)

My father cheated, my Mom re-married and cheated, then divorced the second time and she's now the "other woman". My grandpa cheated and had an entire "secret family" on the side, my uncle cheated, my cousin cheated, pretty much everyone at hubby's work cheated, the vast majority of my friends cheated.

Then after I cheated on him, my husband tells me this story how some 10 years earlier he found himself in a bar with his buddies. Everyone was "getting some" that night, disappearing with girls that hung out at that bar. My husband says he didn't, but that he just sat there talking with some girl all night long. Do I believe it? I don't know. My husband has maintained all his married life that he is not a cheater, that he would never do that.

I thought the same about myself and look at me now!


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

I am also of hispanic descent and I have never cheated on the women I loved. Sadly, my second wife (first wife deceased R.I.P.) cheated on me.

Sadly, women have caught up to men in the unfaithful spouse department.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

I am of Latino descent/mixed race, very high needs and enjoy people in general. Come from a quite horrible even nightmarish background, was in some bad relationships and yet, it never occurred to me to cheat. I always tried to solve issues with my spouse/partner, to the point of it being, literally, insane. :rofl:

In the end I am faithful to myself. 
Which is a good thing.
I like to wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and no matter how crappy and old I'm looking, I see a face I can trust, even though sometimes she does let things go a little too far in the way of trust in others and misplaced loyalty.

Until I have a divorce in hand, I am still married, and will honor marriage vows at least for my own feelings about the sacredness of that state of being.

I also know a lot of Hispanic men who are kind and faithful, and one who sings when he dances. I don't think this is about race, I think it's about morals. The same is said often about black men but in my experience it's not true. In fact, sometimes I think I did myself wrong by marrying a white guy (the one I'm divorcing)...I could ask the same question, are there any faithful White guys? But as a statistician I realize n of 3 out of the pool of the caucasian population is a very huge sampling error! I think rather it is my choice that is flawed. 

For instance, my stbxh is in the military and doesn't like Puerto Ricans? Why? He says they are insular. That so doesn't make sense...he doesn't like people because he's never got to know them?! In my opinion he doesn't like the culture, which is to be supportive of each other. I think he's jealous but the fact of the matter is, if he wasn't so prejudiced (his father is racist, and not knowing I was mixed race, said disparaging things about non-whites...I kept my mouth shut and later dropped a hint...) he would be able to make a few more friends instead of hanging out with the old white guys in his unit. He does like Phillipinos but when he was in Phillipines he had a prostitute for a long while (months, really) so I think that's why. :-| 

Trust me, white, black, Hispanic, Chinese, people are people. Either they keep the faith in terms of a relationship, or they don't.

I take full responsibility for having made bad choices. I had dug deeper into that at one time and the result was giving my husband another chance...he had portrayed himself as a nice guy, followed the rules...but my gut when I was 30 told me otherwise and I broke up with him twice. 14 years later I second-guessed my initial gut instinct and gave him another opportunity, I did not dig deep enough into what he had been doing those 14 years but took his word for his past relationships and what he told me turned out not to be true at all. He played by Mr. Nice Guy rules and I got taken in like a frog in a pot of water being heated up. When I reflected back on this I had been in a period of time dealing with a child with a disability who hadn't yet been diagnosed and finding someone who believed in me and supported me and was willing to be helpful was pretty much all it took to cloud my judgement. I thought my son had a tethered spinal cord and he did but it took many years to have it diagnosed, meanwhile he was incontinent and I was judged harshly by many others for having a preschooler, then a Kindergartener and then a child who was of the age for 1st grade who had endless poop and pee accidents all day long. Pretty much I was a sitting duck. I can see how that situation made me needy so that I overlooked red flags. I assumed that his issues were due to the challenges of dealing with my disabled child (who is now more or less fixed surgically).

Anyway, take a long hard look at your relationship choices and see what the common denominator or circumstances might have been during the time the relationship was formed. What made you overlook red flags? What made you stay long enough to be cheated on and/or abused (in my case)? What took away your (good, natural, given) power over self in failed relationships (with cheaters or abusers). 

And what can you do about it? This time, I went to therapy for an entire year, and it was good. I have already had to deal with a guy approaching me and treating me badly from the get-go and he is history, he won't even dare show his face any more in my volunteer office. It's actually a little funny, in that I don't hold any bad feelings towards him for his disrespect and trying to finagle me, I had my say and since I won't be dealing with him on anything other than a superficial level, I can enjoy his personality and quirkiness and watch him in action trying to pull off similar maneuvering with others because I won't allow it to hurt me.

Once you know what to look for and get in touch with vulnerabilies on a day to day basis, you are more protected from cheaters and abusers, and not just in intimate relationships. Overall.

There is some U-Tube video out there "The Power of Vulnerability" which is well worth watching.

Sorry about your experience but I don't think it's a race issue at all. If anything, when I hear about this race or that race having a problem with men who are not family-oriented, I cringe, because I think the research on the comparison group (caucasian) is just flawed. When people have more wealth, in general, it is easier to hide deceit, or it doesn't have the same economic effect on women and children and so it is highly discounted as a real 'problem', even though in my opinion it is the SAME problem, regardless of how it plays out in the lives of the affected families.


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

I've been faithful my entire marriage, 33 years now. My wife cheated on me for years with different men. 

In counseling, our Shrink looked at me and said, "given the right/wrong circumstance anyone can get caught up and be unfaithful". In retrospect, I think that is a line taught in Shrink School.

I looked at her and replied... "Have you ever been personally cheated on? You know about the pain, but have you ever personally lived it? I would never put another through this hell, regardless of circumstance."


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## FrankKissel (Nov 14, 2011)

Meatpuppet said:


> Is there any such thing as a faithful *spouse*?
> 
> I think given current statistics, this question would be more appropriate.
> 
> ...


That study shows that the large majority (4 out of 5) of spouses remain faithful. I'm sure that provides no comfort to those who have been cheated upon, but it certainlt dispels the notion that "everybody's doing it."
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ishe? (Apr 1, 2011)

I've been faithful for ten years... And he repays that by cheating on me. But I will never change, I am proud that I am honest and trustworthy and faithful. My next partner an appreciate me because he didn't!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

Meatpuppet said:


> Is there any such thing as a faithful *spouse*?
> 
> I think given current statistics, this question would be more appropriate.
> 
> ...


Those statistics are absurd. They are no where near accurate. 

The numbers are so much higher than that. 1 in 5 ? That's laughable.


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## Dexter Morgan (Dec 8, 2011)

mishu143 said:


> I am of hispanic origin and it seems that it is an accepted fact that men will cheat. I do not agree with this at all but it seems like the explanation is always the same...
> 
> "its a way to get out of the routine"
> 
> ...


Yes there are. Im one of them. Never cheated on a woman in my life, and never will. If things get bad, I'll leave the relationship, not cheat.

Having said that, and I know its hard to do, but people need to make better choices, both men and women, in who they date. 

I know you can't really pick the non-cheaters out of a crowd, but I think you will increase your chances by, for example, not trying to date someone that seems really full of themselves. Attraction is important, but if someone looks like they are conceited, sorry, the chances of them thinking they should be able to share themselves with other people are high.

Not saying you can't have an attractive person that doesn't cheat. Like if I see women who like to look at themselves in the mirror, and are really seem pleased with themselves, I don't bother.

Just like women who are attracted to the "bad boys", but then are dumbfounded when they end up cheating.:slap:


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## FrankKissel (Nov 14, 2011)

Pit-of-my-stomach said:


> Those statistics are absurd. They are no where near accurate.
> 
> The numbers are so much higher than that. 1 in 5 ? That's laughable.


And you know this how?
With all due respect, I'll side with a 40-year study conducted by the U. Of Chicago (one of the top schools in the country).
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mahike (Aug 16, 2011)

I have never cheated on my wife of 30 years. I wish I could say the same about her. I was making plans for a re run of our our honeymoon and renewed vows when I found out what my wife cheated


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

well..remember you are on a website that might have a skewed sampling of people.. many have problems here.

Having said that, yes - plenty of men are faithful. We've been together close to 25 years and being faithful hasnt been much of a challenge either.

Good friends of ours have been married for close to 35 years... all good. I'd bet my boots they have been completely faithful.

Both of our parents have been married a very long time and all faithful. (as far as anyone knows) But if there was infidlity - trust me, it would be a big deal.

I dont know. Take a hard look at yourself and your sources of 'common wisdom' before accepting too pessemistic a picture.

Its not all roses and honey of course - marriage in general is more fragile than it used to be since social pressure to stay in it have been largely removed when something goes badly - but I still think the potential benefit of a happy marriage still far FAR outweighs any fear people should have about it not working - including infidelity from either partner.


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## Unsure in Seattle (Sep 6, 2011)

What a ridiculous, and borderline insulting question. Are there faithful women? Is ANYONE faithful?

I just LOVE posters who make it a gender issue.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

Pit-of-my-stomach said:


> Those statistics are absurd. They are no where near accurate.
> 
> The numbers are so much higher than that. 1 in 5 ? That's laughable.


No not really. Kinsey also did a study that bears those numbers out (2011). Kinsey came up with about 22% were unfaithful. Not only that - they found that frequency of sex had nothing to do, statistically with the rate of infidelity, which may surprise some - and not much difference between men and women either.

http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/publications/PDF/Infidelity in hetero couples.pdf


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

My husband is Hispanic...raised in a traditional home. 

Abusive, but traditional.

He doesn't agree with cheating, nor is he a cheater.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Of course there are faithful men and women alike. 



lordmayhem said:


> Neither I nor any of my 4 brothers have ever cheated, nor do any of my local buddies. But what did I and 2 of my brothers and 3 of my friends get for being faithful? Cheating wives.


You didn't "get cheating wives" "for being faithful." You got cheating wives because those wives chose to cheat. 



lordmayhem said:


> Times have changed.


Eh. Times may be more modern but infidelity has been around since the begining of time. It's the oldest story ever.


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

FrankKissel said:


> And you know this how?
> With all due respect, I'll side with a 40-year study conducted by the U. Of Chicago (one of the top schools in the country).
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


There are so many contridictory studies, one could choose to believe whatever they really wanted to... If your looking for it, there are stats to back anything you wanted to believe...Seriously, this is just a matter of common sense. It's not that I want to believe anything in particular. 

These are people. Do you have any idea how many women "take it to the grave" ? or men for that matter. Just people in general... The associated shame, guilt and percived risk of admitting to infidelity assures a large pertentage of people would not be forthright. 

This does nothing to address denial, or what one person catagorizes as "fling"... How many people engage in what would be considered by a spouse as an EA yet after the fact the perpetrator dismissed it harmless, just friends. or something else?.. What is the onus for honesty in these studies? If you were to tell me that the participants were assured anonimity and polygraphed, perhaps I internalize the statistics as valid... (if these questions were addressed in this study, my apologee for not having the time to read the entire article.) 

I guess it really doesn't matter if these statistics are accurate... It's all academic and I guess mental mastrabation to even argue about it... No one's point could be validated, and we could go round and round. (disclaimer: I didn't read the entire article) I just find the 1 in 5 statistic absurd. 1 in 4, I would have a healthy sceptism but could buy. 1 in 3, would be closer to what I would think accurate... But, that's just me. To each their own. I understand my bias clearly, and realize I can never know the exact truth. I do feel like I know the psychology of people quite well, but they are people in my circles... _my truth_ is that those numbers are not valid.

Respectfully of course, I understand I dont _know._
~Pit~


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

Pit-of-my-stomach said:


> There are so many contridictory studies, one could choose to believe whatever they really wanted to... If your looking for it, there are stats to back anything you wanted to believe...Seriously, this is just a matter of common sense.....


Again - No, not really. Go look at the peer reviewed studies - and they pretty much agree. Thats why they are done, so that our views are not too skewed by what we may think we see in a local environment, or by what someone says on TV, or by what your friends say, or a collection of posts on a website. Rigorous studies put the test to 'common sense' and you cant simply brush them aside. (I mean, you can if you like, but then your are simply engaging in speculation) These studies involve hundreds of couples over decades.

Shrug.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Yes, there is.

My husband is 100% faithful to me. He doesn't even look at porn or other women(at least when I'm with him). I've looked through his computer history. Zero porn. 

I don't mind at all that my husband only has eyes for me. He finds me very attractive and it shows. I truly have a wonderful man and I appreciate all he does for me. My husband has always put my needs before his as well. I let him know how much I appreciate him and how lucky I am to be his wife.

There are really good men out there.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

I can never really know how accurate that is. I don't know if they can either?. I respect the methods & resources invested in gathering these statistics are likely the best available. I'm not disparaging the institution. I do understand I drive a red car, so I tend to see red cars everywhere.... 1 in 5 seems very low.

Respectfully.


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## martyc47 (Oct 20, 2011)

There are faithful men, but they are not respected by women- unless they make it clear that they COULD be unfaithful or keep them guessing.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

martyc47 said:


> There are faithful men, but they are not respected by women- unless they make it clear that they COULD be unfaithful or keep them guessing.


Yes. All women want the kind of man you describe above. :;sarcasm::

Hooray for the cynics and stereotypers!


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## Blindasabat (Nov 29, 2011)

I have never cheated on girlfriends or wives, its just not in me doing so would alter who I have been my whole life
(hope the question has been answered)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## martyc47 (Oct 20, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Yes. All women want the kind of man you describe above. :;sarcasm::
> 
> Hooray for the cynics and stereotypers!


Most women don't want doormats or a man she considers below herself in sexual value. I'll stick to my opinion based on a lifetime of experience and observation.

A lot of women you come across asking where all the good men are or why men aren't faithful are the ones who repeatedly choose the 'bad boys" and reject nice faithful men.

Almost all the men on sites like this, who come for advice with cheating wives, follow similar patterns.

If this doesn't apply to you, congratulations.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

If my husband kept me in a state of "is he cheating?" nonsense, I'd leave him.

What garbage. lolllll

Just because a man doesn't cheat DOESN'T make him a doormat. 

My husband is every bit of a man...he's the head of our home. He's aggressive in bed (yumm) and we dig our relationship.


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## martyc47 (Oct 20, 2011)

that_girl said:


> If my husband kept me in a state of "is he cheating?" nonsense, I'd leave him.
> 
> What garbage. lolllll
> 
> ...


Are you a cheater or were you cheated on? If your husband is as you describe, I'm sure he COULD cheat easily. maybe he doesn't want to because you are good.

Obviously you aren't describing a doormat.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

martyc47 said:


> Are you a cheater or were you cheated on? If your husband is as you describe, I'm sure he COULD cheat easily. maybe he doesn't want to because you are good.


I am not a cheater. I don't know if I've been cheated on. lol.

Everyone COULD cheat easily. lol It's not hard to cheat. But we have these things in our skulls called BRAINS that help us make choices...hopefully good ones.

A man who makes his woman fear his cheating, is a mind-effer and not someone I'd want to spend my time on.

I know my husband is a good catch. Sexy, smart, fun...etc...so I don't take him for granted


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

martyc47 said:


> Most women don't want doormats or a man she considers below herself in sexual value.


Your statement was:

_*There are faithful men, but they are not respected by women- unless they make it clear that they COULD be unfaithful or keep them guessing. *_

What?? Being a doormat and being faithful are not the same and it's sad to see someone generalize all women, or anyone, really. 



that_girl said:


> Just because a man doesn't cheat DOESN'T make him a doormat.


You think it'd be common knowledge... 

TGIF, TG!


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## mishu143 (Jun 20, 2011)

Im sorry i didnt mean it as a race question. I meant it more in general. 

I was speaking to the husband of my husbands "mistress" and he says he cheated all the time. but that he loved his wife. it had nothing to do with love just change of pace. My husbands grandma always told me that as long as the man came home it shouldnt be a problem and the list goes on. 

I know all races cheat and all genders cheat. but man will i ever trust again?

And how will i let that guard down. I never in a million years would have thought my husband to cheat on me. 

I am so faithful and like Homemaker I too feel that as long as i am married whether seperated or together i am married. and until i get that divorce i will honor that marriage. 

I would never cheat. I couldnt. I would feel dirty. Just the thought of me with someone else sickens me. And that why i pose the question... 

Is it possible i will ever find a man who feel the same? A good man who would rather just say i dont love you then to cheat? urrrgh its so irritating


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## mishu143 (Jun 20, 2011)

And by the way for all of your negative idiots... no i did not fall for the bad boy. 

He was nice, romantic, sweet, and made me feel sexy all the time. he wanted me all the time. we didnt have intimacy issues. 

we had problems like every marriage in the world does. so no i didnt pick a di**head and marry him. i married him because he was what i once thought "a good honest hard working man".


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

morituri said:


> I am also of hispanic descent and I have never cheated on the women I loved. Sadly, my second wife (first wife deceased R.I.P.) cheated on me.
> 
> Sadly, women have caught up to men in the unfaithful spouse department.


I don't think women have caught up, it was all just hushed up because back in the days a man cheating was a high five at the local bar with the guys.

A woman cheating was a black mark on the man so I believe it was just never leaked out and paraded out for everyone to see since women literally could not leave a marriage back then. So the affair was hushed up so that nobody would know about it.

Now with equality and women having the advantage in divorces, everyone just thinks, Oh women are cheating more now a days.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

martyc47 said:


> There are faithful men, but they are not respected by women- unless they make it clear that they COULD be unfaithful or keep them guessing.


Sorry, your wrong. I fully respect my husband. We have a beautiful marriage.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

IDK........I've been faithful for 16 years now!! Of course the thought has crossed my mind a million times...I don't ever act.

I always wonder if one day I will......so far so good


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

cheatinghubby said:


> I don't think women have caught up, it was all just hushed up because back in the days a man cheating was a high five at the local bar with the guys.
> 
> A woman cheating was a black mark on the man so I believe it was just never leaked out and paraded out for everyone to see since women literally could not leave a marriage back then. So the affair was hushed up so that nobody would know about it.
> 
> Now with equality and women having the advantage in divorces, everyone just thinks, Oh women are cheating more now a days.


What you say is true to some extent but there are more women cheating than in the past because there isn't the greater degree of socioeconomic punishment they would have experienced in decades past, and their economic independence from men. Also the media - television, movies, books, magazines, etc. - as well as many feminists, have glorified female infidelity as 'female empowerment'. Like with their male counterparts, the cheating wives of today feel the same sense of entitlement.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

There's nothing empowering or glamourous about cheating.

It's base behavior.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

that_girl said:


> There's nothing empowering or glamourous about cheating.
> 
> It's base behavior.


:iagree:

You'll get no argument from me. Then again you, as well as the rest of us here, are not entitlement minded people, are we?


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

The fact that cheating among women is reaching parity with men shows that cheating is not a gender associated characteristic. The men who have cheating wives may ask is there such a thing as faithful women. I would feel affronted by the implied assuptiom by the questioner that my character is tainted and I am naturally deceptive and a bottom feeder by virtue of my gender.

I understand that having a cheating spouse shakes you faith in the goodness of men. It is a temporary state. With time and effort you will learn to trust again and chose carefully next time. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

I agree Catherine, as I would also feel affronted by the assumption because of my racial origin I'm more susceptible to being a cheater.


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## lascarx (Dec 24, 2011)

Catherine602 said:


> The men who have cheating wives may ask is there such a thing as faithful women.


I must admit to being rather skeptical of their existence of late. But I assume that the Grimms' fairytales had some factual basis at some point in time.


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## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

lascarx has such a way with word - hate posting behind him.

But as for me, 39 years married, first marriage for both. I never cheated, I traveled for my job for the last 20 years- temptation all around and I would just think of my wife and kids.


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## tennisstar (Dec 19, 2011)

There are plenty of faithful men, just as there are plenty of faithful women. Of course, I've seen and known cheaters, but I know plenty of people who have never cheated.

I was single for many years and traveled a lot in my job. With all I hear about temptation all around, I rarely found it. Of course, I was single and could do what I wished, but I was never approached my married men and hardly approached by single men in my travels. 

Now, when I went on single vacations, that was a different matter.... lol.

Now that I'm married, I have never had a man approach me or tell me about their sad love lives, bad marriage, etc. I don't know if I'm unattractive or just give off bad vibes, but the men I know are strictly on a platonic basis and have never given me any reason to think they were talking to me for anything other than being friendly or because we worked together.


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

mishu143 said:


> I am of hispanic origin and it seems that it is an accepted fact that men will cheat. I do not agree with this at all but it seems like the explanation is always the same...
> 
> "its a way to get out of the routine"
> 
> ...


I was faithful for twenty years and five months.
Now I no longer qualify since I am single and have no intentions of becoming somebody's dummy, again.


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

mishu143 said:


> I am of hispanic origin and it seems that it is an accepted fact that men will cheat. I do not agree with this at all but it seems like the explanation is always the same...
> 
> "its a way to get out of the routine"
> 
> ...


I was a virgin when I married. Never touched any other woman other than my wife. Staying away for 3 years.


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

In addition, never touched alcohol, cigarettes.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

AngryandUsed said:


> In addition, never touched alcohol, cigarettes.


Wow. What do you do for fun?

lolll I'm kidding.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

As a woman of Caribbean origin, I can say that the majority men who come from the islands are unapologetic players. The more "babymothers" a guy has, the more of a man he is. 

None of the husbands in my whole family (extended and immediate) have ever been faithful. 

This is the reason my husband comes from conservative WASP family. Cheating is tantamount to murdering one's spouse where he is from.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

FirstYearDown said:


> As a woman of Caribbean origin, I can say that the majority men who come from the islands are unapologetic players. The more "babymothers" a guy has, the more of a man he is.
> 
> None of the husbands in my whole family (extended and immediate) have ever been faithful.
> 
> This is the reason my husband comes from conservative WASP family. Cheating is tantamount to murdering one's spouse where he is from.


I am 2nd generation Caribbean. My father and both grandfathers had mistresses. In the old country, it was apparently accepted and it carried over to this country.

However, there has been a shift in this dynamic in my generation. My male cousins and brother have not been unfaithful as far as I know. But one of their wives cheated. Of course I cannot be sure. 

Unlike my mother and grandmothers who were all SAHM's, their wives have careers and just as much opportunity as they have to cheat. In former generations, men felt assured that they could cheat but their wives would never cheat. 

With the new dynamic, they are just as likely to experience the pain of infidelity as their wives. They are more likely to control themselves and expect the same of their wives. 

At the time I got married, I could not have married a man from the Caribbean if my life depended on it. Too many triggers to deal with, given my background.


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## spudster (Jan 11, 2012)

I'm on marriage #3. First wife passed away, second wife threw her legs up for any man that she fancied, and my present wife is a jewel.

Three marriages for a total of sixteen years, I have never cheated and never will.


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## spudster (Jan 11, 2012)

> lascarx has such a way with word - hate posting behind him.


Yeah. He's like a Yoda of prose.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

spudster said:


> I'm on marriage #3. First wife passed away, second wife threw her legs up for any man that she fancied, and my present wife is a jewel.
> 
> Three marriages for a total of sixteen years, I have never cheated and never will.


Almost the same identical story here. Are we twins separated at birth?


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