# help, my wife left with our 3 week newborn



## benfikaman (May 31, 2010)

Here we go... My wife and I are 27 and 25 years old and we we got married last may after 5 years together and now have a 3 week newborn. My parents and my wife have never really gotten along and my wife actually hates them for what i feel no reason at all. I knew that before getting married but I kept my parents away from my personal business as well. Did it hurt yes. Her parents on the other hand we would go visit at least once a week. So 7 days after the baby was born, i spot my wife crying in the shower. I ask her why and she says "You hate my mom" I was like no i don't but since we got home from the hospital she has been here everyday and she would trump some of the things i would say. Example: doctor said wash baby 3-4 times a week, her mom said doctors dont know and proceeded to wash her everyday. We bought a rocker and it said do not use if child is below 5.5 pounds and i said i prefer not to use for now because she was close at 5.9. Her mom went and sat her there. Her mom even commented several times to the baby in portuguese "oh ur parents are dumb, they don't know how to take care of you." the other biggest bomb shell was when her mom said i am going to take care of you when my daughter goes back to work and I said" Thank you so much for your generosity but we have decided that she is not going back to work in the meantime so that she can raise our daughter." that really struck a nerve with her! In the meantime, she was always there and my parents had only seen the baby once! That same day that i found her in the shower i received a phone call from none other than her mom saying that it was extremely important that she talk to me. She began the conversation by saying that she fealt unwanted in our house and I said responded " I haven't said anything but you are here everyday and the thing that bothers me the most is that it is mine and my wife's baby and we should raise her how we want but you don't take that into consideration and do what u want. She then DROPPED A BOMBSHELL, SHE SAID" Well, I think you treat my daughter bad.... i said what! I have given your daughter everything. She couldn't even substantiate what she was saying and I just hung up the phone. From that point on my wife and I fought because my wife all of sudden took her side and said that I wanted her and her mother to separate from each other. I couldn't understand, i was the victim here. Sure enough, 5 days later my mom was coming to visit my daughter and who shows up.. her parents. My wife had told them to come at the same time. My wife then gave my mom a bad attitude and I just exploded! I told her she was rude and she had no class and she walked out with the baby.. I didn't know what to do so i called the police and her parents started yelling outside and we called each other names and what not. Cops came and they said nothing could be done and she left with my daughter to her parents house. Couple of days later, we agreed to leave our parents out of our marriage(which I already was doing) and as much time as my daughter spent at her mom's house she would spend at mine. So she came back but with bad intentions. Every minute of the day for 3 days she blackmailed me saying " I'll leave if you don't do this... or I'll leave i don't care.. Couple of days later her mom calls and tells her she needs her help to babysit another child that she was taking care of illegally by the way... So she refused to leave my daughter with me and took her and I warned her that when she got back i would take her to my parents as well. well sure enough, she came back and didn't allow me to and she left again. I later found out that she was emailing her mom every hour and texting her and calling her and she really hadn't separated her from our marriage at all. In fact she talked about getting a divorce but how she would use me to pay her school in the meantime. What do I do. She hasn't let me see my daughter the last two days claiming it was to late. I come to find out they built a nursery for my daughter at her moms house. What should I do... She took a vow and oh I forgot to mention we are a couple of days away from closing on our new home! How will that impact an eventual divorce even though the mortgage and title are only in my name.


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## benfikaman (May 31, 2010)

I know its very long but some much needed advice is needed. tried to explain everything thats why so long.


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## lilah (May 6, 2010)

it's really hard when grandparents undermine the parents. I think your wife may be having some problems with postpartum depression or just having a hard time adjusting, so she can't lay the boundaries that need to be there. She needs her mom but your baby needs both parents and the only way that's going to happen is if your wife stops taking your right to be the dad away.


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