# Life From the Other Side! Woot!



## Fenix

Hello TAMers! It's been awhile but thought I would check in and say hey. I have met several of you IRL and many of the personalities here walked with me in the early days of my separation and subsequent divorce. It was the classic Expat story with serial cheating discovered in a 25 year marriage thanks to the wonders of modern tech. Anyway, finally was able to finalize the divorce after 3.5 years of negotiation. It was always something. Finally, was able to seal the deal by giving up spousal support rights in exchange for tuition for the kids. 

That period of life was so incredibly painful, but has spawned the best time ever. Funny to think back and say "Wow, am I ever thankful that he was SUCH a cheater" :laugh::laugh: I was able to restart my career, tripled my salary in 3 years, bought a house, and am in the strongest, most equal, most loving partnership I have ever experienced. My guy and I are in it for the long haul. Life is really amazing.

Anyway, for you all still in the throes if it all - take heart. Life can be everything you want it to be. Just be healthy in how you approach it, do your work (emotional, mental and physical) and trust yourself. You too can rise again!


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## MovingForward

Fenix said:


> Hello TAMers! It's been awhile but thought I would check in and say hey. I have met several of you IRL and many of the personalities here walked with me in the early days of my separation and subsequent divorce. It was the classic Expat story with serial cheating discovered in a 25 year marriage thanks to the wonders of modern tech. Anyway, finally was able to finalize the divorce after 3.5 years of negotiation. It was always something. Finally, was able to seal the deal by giving up spousal support rights in exchange for tuition for the kids.
> 
> That period of life was so incredibly painful, but has spawned the best time ever. Funny to think back and say "Wow, am I ever thankful that he was SUCH a cheater" :laugh::laugh: I was able to restart my career, tripled my salary in 3 years, bought a house, and am in the strongest, most equal, most loving partnership I have ever experienced. My guy and I are in it for the long haul. Life is really amazing.
> 
> Anyway, for you all still in the throes if it all - take heart. Life can be everything you want it to be. Just be healthy in how you approach it, do your work (emotional, mental and physical) and trust yourself. You too can rise again!


Love seeing things like this. For me felt like the worst time of my life and it was all hopeless. My current relationship is amazing and makes me look back and wonder how i stayed married to my XW.


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## Ynot

Yep these are the kind of threads we need more of. I keep saying we need to have a special subforum for post divorce recovery stories. Too often these threads just get buried in the avalanche of woe is me stories that happen right after a divorce.
Too many of us, and I was one, felt that my life was over when I got a divorce. I was such a loser! No one would want me! I had nothing to offer the world! It was all so untrue. But many don't see that.
I am on my way, still a work in progress, but much better now than I was before and immediately after my divorce.


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## Fenix

Ynot said:


> Yep these are the kind of threads we need more of. I keep saying we need to have a special subforum for post divorce recovery stories. Too often these threads just get buried in the avalanche of woe is me stories that happen right after a divorce.
> Too many of us, and I was one, felt that my life was over when I got a divorce. I was such a loser! No one would want me! I had nothing to offer the world! It was all so untrue. But many don't see that.
> I am on my way, still a work in progress, but much better now than I was before and immediately after my divorce.


Good for you Ynot! I remember your story and the sadness of it all. Happy to hear that you are progressing.


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## Chuck71

Fenix said:


> Hello TAMers! It's been awhile but thought I would check in and say hey. I have met several of you IRL and many of the personalities here walked with me in the early days of my separation and subsequent divorce. It was the classic Expat story with serial cheating discovered in a 25 year marriage thanks to the wonders of modern tech. Anyway, finally was able to finalize the divorce after 3.5 years of negotiation. It was always something. Finally, was able to seal the deal by giving up spousal support rights in exchange for tuition for the kids.
> 
> That period of life was so incredibly painful, but has spawned the best time ever. Funny to think back and say "Wow, am I ever thankful that he was SUCH a cheater" :laugh::laugh: I was able to restart my career, tripled my salary in 3 years, bought a house, and am in the strongest, most equal, most loving partnership I have ever experienced. My guy and I are in it for the long haul. Life is really amazing.
> 
> Anyway, for you all still in the throes if it all - take heart. Life can be everything you want it to be. Just be healthy in how you approach it, do your work (emotional, mental and physical) and trust yourself. You too can rise again!


LTNS.......... Have to ask..... how is @AFPhoenix


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## arbitrator

Fenix said:


> Hello TAMers! It's been awhile but thought I would check in and say hey. I have met several of you IRL and many of the personalities here walked with me in the early days of my separation and subsequent divorce. It was the classic Expat story with serial cheating discovered in a 25 year marriage thanks to the wonders of modern tech. Anyway, finally was able to finalize the divorce after 3.5 years of negotiation. It was always something. Finally, was able to seal the deal by giving up spousal support rights in exchange for tuition for the kids.
> 
> That period of life was so incredibly painful, but has spawned the best time ever. Funny to think back and say "Wow, am I ever thankful that he was SUCH a cheater" :laugh::laugh: I was able to restart my career, tripled my salary in 3 years, bought a house, and am in the strongest, most equal, most loving partnership I have ever experienced. My guy and I are in it for the long haul. Life is really amazing.
> 
> Anyway, for you all still in the throes if it all - take heart. Life can be everything you want it to be. Just be healthy in how you approach it, do your work (emotional, mental and physical) and trust yourself. You too can rise again!


*Congratulations, @Fenix ~ you're an inspiration to us all! *


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## Fenix

Chuck71 said:


> LTNS.......... Have to ask..... how is @AFPhoenix


I have no idea. Hopefully, good.


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## Openminded

Great update!!

Very happy for you!!


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