# My Christmas News



## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

It all started 3 weeks ago. My daughter rang me saying that her mum has been acting shady with her phone.

Laughing at messages received tilting the phone away when texting or reading a message. My daughter confronted her there was an argument at the shopping mall between them and I receive the phone calls at work first by my daughter informing me of this behaviour then by my wife calling my daughter a liar and trouble maker.

I play it cool and try not to show too much suspicion when I arrive home from work but intent on keeping a quiet eye on this behaviour.

3 days later we are out celebrating Christmas Carols where I notice my wife on her phone then she quickly tilts the phone away and clicks out of an app. I ask who she is texting she says no one just browsing Facebook. That wasn’t the Facebook app I saw and memorise what the app looked like.

It did not take me long to work out the app she was on was Viber. I had never heard of this before so downloaded to my phone and sure enough she pops up as a contact and active user.

The next day we visit the doctors and I notice that she had received Viber message on her home screen. Long story short the message is in hidden format so requires a pin code to enable use. Of course I don’t know the code wife denies message from Viber with claims of I don’t know why I’m receiving blank Viber messages it must be a generic thing I don’t know I don’t use it. She explains awayshe originally downloaded the app for her study group communications but they decided to use WhatsApp instead.(I know biggest gas light right?)

A few days pass and I can’t see Viber messages popping up on the home screen but my app is showing her as a contact and actively logging on every hour or so.

Two days ago she drops off the girls and a friend to an amusement park then proceeds to go shopping.

I ring her a few hours later on my lunch break no answer. I probably rang 4 times over an hour period and left a message. She eventually calls back and she’s automatically on the defence what’s my problem why call 4 times she did not hear the phone etc.

On top of this when I innocently ask her where she went shopping she randomly accuses me of spying on her and questions me if I have shown up suddenly to spy on her. ( Weid behaviour right) I call out this behaviour as nonsense and I end the phone call.

Wife arrives home there is nothing bought at the shops or no sign of any purchases reflected on our bank account. Not even lunch!

I arrive home from work to a lecture of how I’m controlling, emotionally abusive, and she should be reporting me to the cops. Of course I’m gobsmacked and distraught at this behaviour and completely false statements from her.

I respond with that she is acting shady and that she is still on Viber which she denies. I pull out my phone send her a Viber message to which she replies I won’t receive the message I’ve disabled notifications. (Of course I am fuming as I’m obviously being gaslighted that she is not on Viber yet goes to all the trouble of disabling the notifications for Viber only.

I stupidly proceed to point out that app is showing that she was on Viber 17 minutes ago. She-says I’m stupid I don’t know how to use the app I’m spying on her etc etc.She runs upstairs takes her phone and proceeds to delete me as a contact on Viber. (Obviously she does not want me knowing when she’s on Viber despite her claims of not being on it)

My daughter informs me that she had noticed she had changed my name in her phone. ( Wife had me under bub but had now put me in under my normal name. Daughter says she noticed it the other day when I messaged her.

Yesterday I was celebrating Christmas Lunch with some close work mates daughter again rings me to say she walked in on her mum in our bedroom on the phone reading a message. When wife saw my daughter enter the room she hurriedly flipped the phone face down then ran to the bathroom and locked the door.

That was enough for me. I excused myself from my mates lunch for a few minutes walked outside and rang a private investigator. I’m not playing this game with her. I am not naive nor will I bury my head in the sand and pretend everything is ok. There is obviously something going on my wife is not going to be truthful and tell me so I’ll have the Investigator uncover the truth for me then proceed to dump physical evidence on the table as concrete and undeniable truth of infedelity. My daughters are teenagers and old enough to know the truth. At least this way she can’t lie gas light friends and family that I’m a paranoid jealous madman.

This whole situation sucks. I’m empty inside and cannot begin to explain how lonely I feel through it all. I now have to sit here during the Christmas period pretending to play happy families all the while whilst dying inside.

Why can’t cheaters just be honest and tell their partner I no longer want to be faithful to you I want to play around so we will go on our separate ways. Instead they choose to selfishly lie, project blame, falsely accuse, and make life unbearingly miserable for their tortured partners whilst accepting all the luxuries their cheated partner provides.

Thank you for reading this. Just typing this out has helped me unload it off my chest.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Sports Fan said:


> It all started 3 weeks ago. My daughter rang me saying that her mum has been acting shady with her phone.
> 
> Laughing at messages received tilting the phone away when texting or reading a message. My daughter confronted her there was an argument at the shopping mall between them and I receive the phone calls at work first by my daughter informing me of this behaviour then by my wife calling my daughter a liar and trouble maker.
> 
> ...


Correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t this the fifth thread since 2014 that you’ve posted about your wife cheating?
You keep issuing meaningless ultimatums which your wife ignores. And she’s right to ignore them because you aren’t going anywhere or doing anything. 
Like I told you in March last year you’re really showing your daughters how a marriage works. Not!


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## SadOne1974 (Nov 10, 2020)

I personally would get more concrete proof just to satisfy your need to find out what has happened. Once you have that leave. But get actual proof. It’s there if she is cheating.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

She doesn’t want a divorce — not yet, at least, and maybe not ever so she doesn’t see a reason to be honest.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

On your last thread almost two years ago, you told her you weren’t reconciling? So what’s been going on since you disappeared?


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I'm sorry you're going through this. I guess we shouldn't be surprised when people who cheat will also lie with their dying breath, though. The gaslighting is inexcusable, so mean. You'll have to find all your strength to pretend it's business as usual until your PI gets some proof, I guess. You do realize this will not help with the divorce, though? Most places don't take into account cheating. It's just not required if people want a divorce. But hopefully it will give you the courage to do whatever you need to do if you have some objective proof. Not sure I'd put too much stock in your daughter's involvement. That's a little weird, to be honest.


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## Ms. Hawaii (Mar 28, 2018)

What’s the point of getting a PI? She’s been cheating on you for YEARS. She won’t stop since you’ve shown through actions that you’re okay with being cheated on. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

She is displaying common behaviors of a cheating spouse. She is at the very least engaging in a text/emotional affair and very likely a physical affair. Usually women cheat when they are looking to leave so keep in mind that she is probably trying to get out of the marriage. 

Personally, I would demand that she show me what she's doing on her phone. I would say she's been behaving suspiciously and if she is not hiding anything, she should have no problems showing me what she is doing. Ask her to hand her phone to you and then ask her for her code to unlock it. Don't let her do it herself or she will just quickly delete/uninstall anything incriminating. That only takes a few moments to do.

You also need to contact a divorce lawyer ASAP and follow their instructions. Your wife cannot be trusted.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

5x? Your wife is a sociopath. Nothing is going to get better as long as you stay with her.

5x!??!! You should stop wasting everyone's time. You are right where you want to be.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Why don't you give your wife a nice big Christmas present -- divorce papers. WHY are you putting up with this? It's so bad even your DAUGHTER sees it? This isn't giving THEM a good example of marriage.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Hope you find the answers fast.

Everything your cheating wife has said and accused you of is straight from the cheaters handbook.


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## moulinyx (May 30, 2019)

This post is shocking. I get the purpose of this post was to get some release to power through Christmas, but you’ve got to open your eyes here. This is very blatant and your teenage daughter has even called her to the carpet.

I hope you seek legal counsel so you can start preparing for a fresh start. Everything described here is textbook cheating signs.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

moulinyx said:


> This post is shocking. I get the purpose of this post was to get some release to power through Christmas, but you’ve got to open your eyes here. This is very blatant and your teenage daughter has even called her to the carpet.
> 
> I hope you seek legal counsel so you can start preparing for a fresh start. Everything described here is textbook cheating signs.


This isn’t the first time she has done this. I thought Sports Fan should of left the last time she cheated.


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## moulinyx (May 30, 2019)

ABHale said:


> This isn’t the first time she has done this. I thought Sports Fan should of left the last time she cheated.


She sounds ruthless. And to be bold enough to have it on full display around the kids is dehumanizing. I don’t blame him for having a hell of a time working through this.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

I would directly ask for the phone unlocked and for her to write down all of her social media and chat apps passwords. She has to hand it to you then. If she doesn’t, your marriage isn’t worth it to her. I would go file for D. 

Also, have you pulled your phone bills. They might provide you with more intel also. Tracker on her car and some tiny recorders where she sits and talks.

I wouldn’t let this go. All of the above will give you lots of answers.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Sorry you are going through this, @Sports Fan. Incidentally, I think STD tests might be a sensible precaution. Also use a Voice Activated Recorder (depending on your laws) to ensure that no false accusations are made against you by her.

And it might be a good idea to see a lawyer with your daughter (to check on how you can protect her) and to look at arranging counselling for you and your daughter.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Looking back at some of your threads this has been a problem since 2014/15?

It stops when you say it does. This isn’t a court of law. You don’t need concrete evidence. All you need is enough to convince you. Man, your own daughter knows the score.

A lot dont want to make a decision so they delay or do everything possible not to. Why?


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## colingrant (Nov 6, 2017)

You own your future. Until you say it and act upon it, your wife owns it.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

moulinyx said:


> She sounds ruthless. And to be bold enough to have it on full display around the kids is dehumanizing. I don’t blame him for having a hell of a time working through this.


I think the last time it was going on at his daughters soccer practice.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

colingrant said:


> You own your future. Until you say it and act upon it, your wife owns it.


THIS...EXACTLY...


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Sportfan how are things going?


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