# would you ever go to a sex club with your wife...



## honeysuckle rose

...so you could watch other people & they could watch you? No swapping. Just watching & engaging w/ your wife.

Would u want to watch her w/ another woman?

How do you think this could it would enhance your marriage?

MH is showing interest in this...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Unsure in Seattle

Not my scene, but if it's yours, go for it.


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## HopelesslyJaded

It always starts out so simple but once that gets checked off the list the ante almost always gets raised. I liked the watching and being watched until he crossed the line and moved to the woman next to us.

That image you can't erase.


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## theroad

Leads to ruined marriages.


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## Wazza

"...forsaking all others till death do us part". I meant it.


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## PBear

My GF and I did this. There was no pressure to "share", so if you just want to watch and be watched, that's not a problem.

C


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## Hopefull363

Is this really something he's shown interest in or is it something he just watched on porn? Real interest and fantasy are two different things.


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## PBear

Oh, and based on your other posts, I would strongly suggest staying away from sex clubs and anything related until your marriage is healthy. These kind of things will not fix a troubled relationship; in fact, they'll likely magnify any issues. And you've been posting about sex/intimacy/"I don't love him" type issues for the last 7 months, from your history.

C


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## bkaydezz

I had no clue there was a such thing as a sex club!


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## Entropy3000

honeysuckle rose said:


> ...so you could watch other people & they could watch you? No swapping. Just watching & engaging w/ your wife.
> 
> Would u want to watch her w/ another woman?
> 
> How do you think this could it would enhance your marriage?
> 
> MH is showing interest in this...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'll pass.

I might have been ok with this when I was single and with a GF I did not intend to marry. Just for kicks. Oh wait. Not a sex club but the same thing. Been there done that. Forgot about that. I am no where near the same person as I was back then. 

Would never consider anything like this with my wife. She is too special to me.


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## Shiksa

nope, never, eww. Don't want to share, even visually. For me what makes it special is that our intimacy is JUST between us.


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## AFEH

honeysuckle rose said:


> ...so you could watch other people & they could watch you? No swapping. Just watching & engaging w/ your wife.
> 
> Would u want to watch her w/ another woman?
> 
> How do you think this could it would enhance your marriage?
> 
> MH is showing interest in this...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


A real big NO from me.

But how has it made you feel?

And what do you think about it?

Has it changed how you see your MH?

Has it changed your understanding of the “type” of man your MH is?


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## HuggyBear

If my wife asked me to go or take her there, I would, but it's not any kind of an interest of mine. The whole idea of "doing it" in front of others seems kind of kinky, though... if there were no cameras, and it was going to excite someone to see her "getting it" from me, I could be convinced... but not in a "club."


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## Cosmos

Going on your posts in other threads, OP, I don't think this would be a good idea for your right now. You H might do well to concentrate on establishing intimacy in your relationship rather than indulging his own fantasies...


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## Zatol Ugot?

I have to join most of the others here and say bad idea, especially in a struggling marriage. I think the risk is way too high that something will happen to negatively affect the marriage. I'm not going to lie. The idea of what you are talking about is intriguing and exciting to me - but strictly on a sexual level. But in thinking about bringing it to reality with me and my wife, I actually get turned off. I can't see having our intimate marriage experience shared so openly. If, however, all this advice is ignored and you decide to indulge the fantasy, consider using web cams to view other couples and have other couples view you. No chance of a physical encounter. Still a bad idea though, but perhaps a little better.


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## ScarletBegonias

I think you have to have a rock solid relationship and iron clad connection to your spouse before trying any sort of sex club.In order for those types of experiments to work you have to be stellar with your communication skills and honesty. i get the draw and excitement of being watched and watching others but I think it takes a certain kind of couple to be able to do this with no negative outcome.Don't take this poorly but I don't think you and your partner are at that place yet.


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## SimplyAmorous

Me & my husband would never do this...that would be going way too far - jumping a "sacred" fence one might say...even inviting temptation one may not realize will spring. 

The Wildest thing we've ever done in our marriage...which I don't regret at all ...was us going together to a higher class Strip Club- with friends... I didn't mind his enjoying the sites, I enjoyed watching the them dance too. 

He never had this experience in his youth, and I thought it would be entertaining. Didn't hurt our marraige at all. But that is our Limit. Some things are sacred....like when we're alone together.


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## 40isthenew20

Def not with my wife. If I were still single and was with someone else, sure. As much as seeing two women together turns me on, even thinking about my wife taking another penis makes me insanely jealous. 

Others may disagree, but that's me.


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## anonim

honeysuckle rose said:


> ...so you could watch other people & they could watch you? No swapping. Just watching & engaging w/ your wife.
> 
> Would u want to watch her w/ another woman?
> 
> How do you think this could it would enhance your marriage?
> 
> MH is showing interest in this...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yes.

Maybe.

Maybe.


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## anonim

HopelesslyJaded said:


> It always starts out so simple but once that gets checked off the list the ante almost always gets raised. I liked the watching and being watched until he crossed the line and moved to the woman next to us.
> 
> That image you can't erase.


what do you mean 'moved to the other woman?'


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## HopelesslyJaded

Not hard to figure out. He got off of me and decided he wanted to bang the girl next to us.


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## donny64

ScarletBegonias said:


> I think you have to have a rock solid relationship and iron clad connection to your spouse before trying any sort of sex club.In order for those types of experiments to work you have to be stellar with your communication skills and honesty. i get the draw and excitement of being watched and watching others but I think it takes a certain kind of couple to be able to do this with no negative outcome.Don't take this poorly but I don't think you and your partner are at that place yet.


Very good comments. W and I have discussed this, as well as WMW threesome (came very close to doing that). I think you're right, it would take exceptional communication, trust, and an "iron clad connection" for this to happen without negative effects on the marriage.

My thoughts...going to a "sex club" and watching other people? Okay, not a huge thing. Doing it in front of other people? Much bigger thing, but still not a tremendously hard thing if...IF...you're otherwise solid in all aspects of your relationship. Bringing a third (threesome) or fourth (couple swapping) into it? Uhm...tread lightly and extremely cautiously. If you're not in the top tier of rock solid relationships, don't even consider letting another man or woman touch your wife (or visa versa let a woman touch you) unless you're prepared to destroy a marriage. I know my W would be okay with this (a WMW threesome), and would actually enjoy it, but, I fear the fallout were it to happen without solid boundaries set. We have set ground rules should the opportunity ever arise again, and they're mostly mine. I WILL NOT ever have intercourse with another woman. Period. Even though she says she might like to see it (female cuckold fantasy?), I will NEVER do it. I'll not risk it. To see her with another woman, and the two of us pleasing my W? I'll go there, if the situation happens. We won't go looking for it, we don't talk about it much, but if it happens, I could do that. But, I'll never be more focused on another woman than I am my W. That's MY boundary. And I (we) will NEVER cross it. Playing with fire. And I don't like to get burned.

Oh, and another man will NEVER touch my woman. That one WILL be left to strictly fantasy. Just as I believe, another woman will NEVER touch me. Sorry, off freakin' limits, on both accounts. We're solid enough to explore an awful lot together, but I will never allow for that kind of potentially catastrophic interaction to potentially create any kind of conflict in a perfectly outstanding marriage.


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## 2ntnuf

Entropy3000 said:


> I'll pass.
> 
> I might have been ok with this when I was single and with a GF I did not intend to marry. Just for kicks. Oh wait. Not a sex club but the same thing. Been there done that. Forgot about that. I am no where near the same person as I was back then.
> 
> *Would never consider anything like this with my wife. She is too special to me.*


Kinda tells the story right there in bold doesn't it?


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## heartsdelight

I agree with other posters. This isn't going to save your marriage or restart your arousal to your husband. Regardless of whose idea it is, it's a bad one. It sounds like a hail mary. I can understand wanting to try anything, but in this case I think the "anything" has maybe a 1 in 100000000 chance of helping.


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## costa200

honeysuckle rose said:


> ...so you could watch other people & they could watch you? No swapping. Just watching & engaging w/ your wife.
> 
> Would u want to watch her w/ another woman?
> 
> How do you think this could it would enhance your marriage?
> 
> MH is showing interest in this...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


NO... That usually is just the door for crappy situations and marriage endings.


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## suzziegirl

My husband has asked me to go to one of these. Gee Its a big decision. I have been saying no but I am so tempted to try one.
It can change things which is scary....


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## anonim

HopelesslyJaded said:


> Not hard to figure out. He got off of me and decided he wanted to bang the girl next to us.


i like clarification. but O.O

did you guys have rules set before you went?


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## HopelesslyJaded

anonim said:


> i like clarification. but O.O
> 
> did you guys have rules set before you went?


Yes we did and he broke them.


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## anonim

HopelesslyJaded said:


> Yes we did and he broke them.


Then I think that its not so much the sex club, but more about your H not keeping to his word, being disrespectful and having weak impulse control. The sex club provided the opportunity earlier.

You have my sympathy regardless

I cant imagine that someone would do that >.<


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## x2startermom

At first I would be shy but I would love to attend one. I'm the wife and would be happy to do this for my husband.


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## anchorwatch

honeysuckle rose said:


> ...so you could watch other people & they could watch you? No swapping. Just watching & engaging w/ your wife.
> 
> *NO!*
> 
> Would u want to watch her w/ another woman?
> 
> *Absolutely Not!*
> 
> How do you think this could it would enhance your marriage?
> 
> *I can't imagine!*
> 
> MH is showing interest in this...
> 
> *Shut it down, it will cause you more issues than you already have.*
> 
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Complexity

What's the point?


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## hookares

40isthenew20 said:


> Def not with my wife. If I were still single and was with someone else, sure. As much as seeing two women together turns me on, even thinking about my wife taking another penis makes me insanely jealous.
> 
> Others may disagree, but that's me.


 I'm single now, and
I would never consider it. If I am dating a woman, I insist on paying the freight. If she is interested in this sort of recreation, then she needs to find others to enjoy it with her.
Some things are meant to be just between the two of you.


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## Machiavelli

honeysuckle rose said:


> ...so you could watch other people & they could watch you? No swapping. Just watching & engaging w/ your wife.
> 
> Would u want to watch her w/ another woman?
> 
> How do you think this could it would enhance your marriage?
> 
> MH is showing interest in this...


From your other thread...



honeysuckle rose said:


> I know a lot of ladies on the forums don't have sex because they're either angry or they just don't like having sex anymore. Have any of you felt turned off by the act, meaning the smells, the sound, the fluids?
> 
> I am so emotionally detached that sex now seems terribly awkward & slightly repulsive to me. has anyone else ever had these feelings and how did you change them?


Sounds to me like he's willing to do anything to get you fired up and is willing to settle for any additional fallout sex he can get from you. If it works, that's fine while it works. Some people can fire things up that way for decades, but eventually something always seems to go wrong. It may be well worth the risk. I thought about trying this many years ago, but I'm glad I didn't bring it up. YMMV.


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## tacoma

It's on the bucket list


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## Gorky75

honeysuckle rose said:


> ...so you could watch other people & they could watch you? No swapping. Just watching & engaging w/ your wife.
> 
> Would u want to watch her w/ another woman?
> 
> How do you think this could it would enhance your marriage?
> 
> MH is showing interest in this...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yes, under the circumstances you explained. Not sure if it enhances marriage per se, but it is fun.


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## Racer

Oddly enough, my office assistant just went to one with her boyfriend. What she described was ‘weird’ to me, but not at all what I would have envisioned. I sort of envisioned something gross with dim lights, perverts and sticky floors. She went because a friend did a ‘fire show’ (he does the fire eating stuff). There were performers around, dance floors, real bars, and various themed areas. And beds everywhere with people doing it publically, others that were somewhat screened, and private rooms... People wore costumes, fancy dress, bondage apparel and nothing at all. Also broke my thought that it’d be ‘unattractive’ people; She said most were in shape 30-40 year olds who obviously took care of themselves. And she wasn’t ‘hit on’ by the various ‘perverts’ which is also odd since she’s rather attractive and young. Closest was another young couple who approached them, but shied away (she thought they wanted to ‘swap’). Basically, they were left alone to wander around and observe; No one made them feel uncomfortable or unwelcome. She estimated there were 40 couples at least and the bartender told her it was a slow night. It strikes me as sort of surreal place... But I have to admit, it peeked my curiosity. 

Still though... outside my comfort zone since I can’t even watch soft porn with my wife. I was sort of freaked out to find out its only a couple miles from my house... I had no idea such clubs existed until last week.


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## DrunkenH

I probably would. Then again I'm a veteran of a failed marriage and have always been kind of reckless to my detriment, so take my opinion for what it's worth.


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## HopelesslyJaded

Racer said:


> Oddly enough, my office assistant just went to one with her boyfriend. What she described was ‘weird’ to me, but not at all what I would have envisioned. I sort of envisioned something gross with dim lights, perverts and sticky floors. She went because a friend did a ‘fire show’ (he does the fire eating stuff). There were performers around, dance floors, real bars, and various themed areas. And beds everywhere with people doing it publically, others that were somewhat screened, and private rooms... People wore costumes, fancy dress, bondage apparel and nothing at all. Also broke my thought that it’d be ‘unattractive’ people; She said most were in shape 30-40 year olds who obviously took care of themselves. And she wasn’t ‘hit on’ by the various ‘perverts’ which is also odd since she’s rather attractive and young. Closest was another young couple who approached them, but shied away (she thought they wanted to ‘swap’). Basically, they were left alone to wander around and observe; No one made them feel uncomfortable or unwelcome. She estimated there were 40 couples at least and the bartender told her it was a slow night. It strikes me as sort of surreal place... But I have to admit, it peeked my curiosity.
> 
> Still though... outside my comfort zone since I can’t even watch soft porn with my wife. I was sort of freaked out to find out its only a couple miles from my house... I had no idea such clubs existed until last week.


That sounds typical of a swinger's club but one's perception of "attractive couples" and someone else's may not be the same. But it may be the area you are in. People may take better care of themselves. I happen to live in the second "fattest" state in the US, so that may be why all the clubs around here are full of 40 plus obese couples.


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## chiben

My wife and I fantasize about this but its a fantasy right now. I dont know if we will ever make it real, but we like the idea of watching and hearing others.


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## bears

i would love to goto one i always wanted to see my wife having sex with another guy and a woman but sh es not really into it


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## Ulen864

I wouldn't be able to do it. She is having a male stripper for her friends bachelorette party and I'm losing it cuz home strippers are worse than club strippers.


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## Dad&Hubby

If you're not sharing, then as a whole there's no harm no foul in my opinion. 

For me personally, it's one of those take it or leave it. I could go, I'd probably get turned on somewhat but really have no desire to go.

I think my wife would find watching others very sexy, not sure if she'd want to "show off" though. But I don't see this as being something that we would set out to do. If somehow the opportunity presented itself...possibly and I'd go for her without a doubt, but that's the only way it'd happen for us.


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## Thor

Yes, it sounds interesting. But a big NO to any sharing of any kind. It is a bucket list item for me. I admit to being one of the weird men who sees a porn scene and fantasize my wife is doing that with me, not that I am doing it with the actress. So I see the club thing as something with my wife, not a gateway to doing it with other people. The wife right now I am sure would say no, though I believe she did something like this at least once before we met.


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## bribrius

honeysuckle rose said:


> ...so you could watch other people & they could watch you? No swapping. Just watching & engaging w/ your wife.
> 
> Would u want to watch her w/ another woman?
> 
> How do you think this could it would enhance your marriage?
> 
> MH is showing interest in this...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


never.
i have too much respect for my wife and marriage for that crap. I wouldnt lead it or her that way. It be like parking your lexus in the ghetto and crossing your fingers it comes back out a lexus in the same condition.


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## dubbizle

We have been to sex clubs all around the world for a great many years and we don't exchange partners but we have had a great time and have met some nice people. IF YOU ARE HAVING MARRAIGE PROBLEMS DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT GOING,that is the first thing they tell you.


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## tonyarz

I probably would. Wife has taken me to the strip club before. She actually used to work there when she was younger. Yes, she was a dancer


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## Pault

@ Ulen for goodness sake look at the web for hen night movies. My W was asked to gon on an all female night, comedian and I found out a stripper ot two. I thought lets look at what happens here as it was in a local club - Hell fire I flipped. I opened a Hen party film (bachelorette party) that was on a well known porn site and thought OH YEA thats going to happen...............NOT!


Would I go to a sex party - NOPE. If things did happen and My W start off with someone its a bit difficult to flip after the event that you agreed to go to and try blaming her - aint going to happen. Then await fallout................. If you dont like flash backs dont even deliberately put yourself in a position that it could happen.


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## [email protected]

Entropy3000 said:


> I'll pass.
> 
> I might have been ok with this when I was single and with a GF I did not intend to marry. Just for kicks. Oh wait. Not a sex club but the same thing. Been there done that. Forgot about that. I am no where near the same person as I was back then.
> 
> Would never consider anything like this with my wife. She is too special to me.


I absolutely agree, a girlfriend is one thing but a wife something different. I don't believe a man can uphold boundaries with a woman once he has seen her in this light. Once you ok something like this don't be surprised at where it goes from there and remember once you start saying ok to outside lovers you can never pull it back.


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## srcampbell1975

my husband and I have been swingers for many years...if anything it helped us in the past, then because of my low self esteem, I started to feel uncomfortable with doing it. It takes a lot of trust between partners as well as others. There MUST be boundries if you do swap. it can be a lot of fun and totally taboo...its not for everyone though. If your partner is thinking of this lifestyle, sit and talk about everything, your boundries, your wants and dont wants. check your personal self as in, can you deal with having someone watch your wife, or handle her being with someone else (if you decide you want that part of the lifestyle).


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