# Should you say no?



## Rascal (Mar 29, 2013)

Guys, do you turn your wife down for sex? I have finally decided that it just isn't worth the drama. It is easier just to put out and keep the peace. The only problem with this is getting it up sometimes when you are truly not interested.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Or when your balls are already throbbing in pain, so yes - I should have said NO all those times with my wife/STBXW.

It was me saying yes all the time which just made the problems worse.

So the next time I find myself with a nympho and I'm not into it, its a solid NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
And if she pushes it... its GET THE **** OUT 

Think 4 years has done its number on me


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Yes, when I don't feel like doing it, I try and give some reason why I don't want to.


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## romantic_guy (Nov 8, 2011)

Maybe only a few times in 41 years.


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## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

On the rare occasions that my wife did initiate I always said yes, even when I had put my back out but I did have to ask her to "be gentle with me".


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

NO!


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

Never say no when your wife initiates.


Ever.


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## NoWhere (Oct 2, 2012)

I've read in many books to never say no. Saying no is the quickest path to being left and getting no sex at all even when you want it.


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

I keep trying to put my tongue to the roof of my mouth to say no but it keeps coming out as yes. 

I once said No don't No don't... stop No don't stop, Does that count?:smthumbup:


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## Leasel (Mar 30, 2013)

My husband only turns me down if he's literally so exhausted he can't keep himself awake.


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## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

Happyquest said:


> I keep trying to put my tongue to the roof of my mouth to say no but it keeps coming out as yes.
> 
> I once said *No don't No don't... stop No don't stop,* Does that count?:smthumbup:


You stole that line from an episode of Popeye... I'm telling!!!


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Sure I've said no.

I don't do it often, only when she's pissed me off
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

The word "Raincheck" is better than a straight "No" - no matter which spouse is saying it.


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## Playing Catch-Up (Apr 8, 2013)

I say no when she's given me endless days of drama and I'm just too irritated to deal with her that way. Also, after her A there was a long stretch where I wanted nothing to do with her, though this has become less frequent over time. I shouldn't say no for the sake of the marriage but sometimes I just can't even think of doing what she wants.


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## Rascal (Mar 29, 2013)

My wife hardly ever initiates and, when she does, it always seems that my mind is nowhere near the subject. She has a knack of catching me completely cold. It's all I can do to avoid stammering and giving her the "deer in the headlights" stare. I have to do mental summersaults to get myself into gear.


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## 01coltcolt (Apr 2, 2013)

I see a Post Reply, Quote, Multi an Quick button. Where is the slap button??


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## nothingtodeclare (Apr 13, 2013)

I've said no twice in 20 years. I can't imagine declining at this point.


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

A couple of times in five years. If I have been really, really wiped out or sick.

But it really did hurt her ego.


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## anonim (Apr 24, 2012)

why is it that women get upset if you decline them?


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## KanDo (Jun 15, 2011)

Men and women both get upset when they are rejected...


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## Leasel (Mar 30, 2013)

anonim said:


> why is it that women get upset if you decline them?


Everyone wants to feel wanted by their SO, and getting rejected like that, even if it's just a one-time thing because you were really tired or something, can make a person question themselves.

The few times my husband rejects me due to exhaustion from work, he always tries to make it up to me the next day, to remind me that he DOES find me attractive, and that I am in no way the reason he said no.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

I have never rejected my wife in 20 years.

:scratchhead:

That can't be right. something sounds fi....

Oh yeah. She's never made an ADVANCE in 20 years.

I knew it was something like that.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I am very thankful I am married to someone who gets his emotional High from sexual pleasure.......

For a time I struggled with questioning his desire -when I learned his TEST levels were low normal.... plus causing him some Performance Pressure due to my sudden High Drive... he was a bit overwhelmed... he kept swearing he loved sex & wanted to be with me... but the questioning would still slip in....I even made him angry a few times -not because I wanted sex, but because I was questioning his desire...... 

I could not stand the idea of being a "burden" to him... that would cause me great pain...one place we don't want to be rejected is sexually...it's too "life giving" of an experience, too emotional/ consuming (how I have always looked at it anyway)

Eventually I finally got it through my thick skull he DID want to be with me each & every time.. I can only think of 1 time where he rejected my advances ....he was worried about our son driving home on icy roads... once he hit the door...we went at it.

I don't push it...I am considerate of his needing sleep or if he is sick... If he is too tired, he'll always tell me to wake him up in a few hours.... he always rises to the occasion....I've always felt he wants to be there. 

I have found, I am very sensitive to this "Desire" thing...through that high drive spell of mine ....so much emotion wrapped up on this...but ya know I am happy this happened to me...because I never gave it a thought the 1st 19 yrs of our marriage or understood how HE FELT... *I NEEDED that revelation*..

...And because he has BEEN there, lived that.. feeling I didn't want him (wasn't even true, but he worked it up in his mind -just like I was [email protected]#$%)... so yeah... we are 2 overly sensitive sex hounds I guess... and it's pretty damn sweet ! 

Then there's







...he's told me before so long as he can get it up, he'd do it 3 times a day, never tires of it... I so appreciate his attitude.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

SO has turned me down a few times.He has never said no but he has said 'not right now bc xyz...' and his reasons are perfectly valid in my mind.Still stings though
I never turn him down unless I'm very sick.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

As far as "should you say no" is concerned,I think you should only say no if your reason is true and not being done out of passive aggression.


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