# any moms and wives out there having my problems? help!



## fastcablecar (Sep 8, 2011)

My marriage will turn 2 this 15th... i dont feel like celebrating anything at all after all we've been through this year or lets say after all ive been through this year.... Just today, my husband said he "NEVER" "EVER" wanted a kid... i always feel a knife going through my head everytime he says it, our daughter will turn 18 months on the 16th... i feel like a single parent living with 2 kids... we only have 1 child and i guess only this one, i dont feel like having another 1 or two or any kid with him even if i love kids and i wanted more. I went through hell just taking care of our baby although i never complained, i love my daughter more than my life, shes very pretty and i want to have more babies but i decided no more, it will only kill me. Our daughter doesnt bind us at all, i tried working it out but all i hear from him are complains and how much of a hassle she is and how much money we have to spend from present to future(college blah blah) in his own way of saying it just drives me nuts out of my chair just makes me feel like jumping off the tallest building i could find. I gave up a career life for a family but this is no family seriously. He always say shes a hassle especially if I will take her with us to eat out or just Sunday strolls or mall time or family time, i have to ask his permission if she can come which is so annoying because shes our daughter i dont need anyone elses permission if i can take her with us or not and ireally hate leaving her with my parents coz my baby girl now is more dependent on them than me. it was the best choice to have her but worse for him as he always have to remind me he never wanted kids, he hates kids and he told me this after we got married and after I got pregnant... he never helped me with anything like carrying her if she cries what he does is whine and be mad and keeps complaining with the noise... i had to sleep on the floor next to the crib coz he doesnt want her in our room, he asked for a divorced and i agreed but he changed his mind... oh great! right now i have a migraine which hurts like hell after this big fight.. 

all i really wanted was for him to be more of a father to her, money or material things cant level up to that... he keeps saying he didnt feel anything special after she was born and he is still waiting for something special to happen, and i can feel my daughter now at almost 18months is very careful doing anything around him coz whatever she does or not do he will raise his voice even if shes just singing in her own gibberish words, he doesnt like her making noises... oh jeeeez i can go on and on of how much i hate him doing this to me and her but everytime i say or talk to him about it he will then react like "oh im the bad guy" "its my fault" then he even sold me to his mom which by the way managed to message me on facebook and told me that if i love my husband i should be taking care of him more than giving more attention to our kid, " i was like WHAT? you dont even know anything thats going on in this house and already you took one side!!! " well i never replied to her messages, i have and will keep isolating myself from anyone more now, just like today my daughter just wont stop crying because she just dont want to, i tried everything and here comes my mother and my grandmother meddling with my life which actually makes me feel like a bad mother since they always have to ask "what did you do with the kid?" i mean please, i am not mean like how you were with me that you pinch me when i start to cry when i was a kid or ground me for your own reasons which sucked, seriously i will die in this house. I didnt do anything with her, she throws a fit everytime she has a bad dream and wakes up to it so what i do since you cant touch her or calm her down or feed her or anything at all, I WAIT FOR HER TO STOP, which she always do, after a minute or two but my mother or grandma(moms ma) dont want her crying coz its bad for her heart, her lungs, her blah blah blah seriously im 28 i can handle a kid, especially mine!! i worked with kids and i love kids, i am losing my head. 

HELP! what should i really do?


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## accept (Dec 1, 2011)

I suppose he is sure it is his child. sorry. 
I think the problem is that you dont share the child with him. You make all the decisions about her. You leave him out so he feels no connection.


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## rogergrant (Dec 7, 2011)

He sounds very jealous of the kid. It also sounds like "just doing the math" you were married after you were pregnant. It's hard on a marriage to start with a child in the picture.


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