# Intimacy trouble on both sides



## Drawman62 (Sep 7, 2013)

First of all, I am 51 and have a condition called hyperprolactinemia which affect the amount of testosterone in direct relation to the levels of prolactin (breast milk fuel). My wife is 43 and going through menopause and wants to be serviced every night. 

The problem being, at my age, if I don't have a nap, I'm exhausted. She also stays up too late for me, then gets angry. Also she feels no responsibility to be romantic or make a definite verbal or non-verbal statement about her intentions or wishes.

Do I even have a chance? what should I do to repair this? I want to remain married.


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## MambaZee (Aug 6, 2013)

Can you compromise with her? A lot of people couldn't keep up with every night, but would she be able to live with (I didn't say thrilled with, just live with) 2-4x per week? 

Also, it seems 51 is kind of young to need a nap most of the time. Does your condition tie into that? Or just a demanding job? Are you exercising and eating well and taking vitamins to improve your energy levels?

It sounds repairable to me but it'll require communication and compromise from both of you.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

And what about testosterone levels? Makes a difference. 

I'm 50, H is 55....and every night is perfect for us. But I get that everyone is different. 

Is she open to conversation about it? Like a time limit??? We know that we both have to work in the a.m..... so we discuss kinda, what time to go to bed. 

It's ALL about communication....even the frequency, or especially the frequency.


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

How are things otherwise in the relationship? Is this a new problem that just appeared or something that has been developing for a long time? Is there no medical option or lifestyle change to address your lack of energy?


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## DaveWalters (Aug 26, 2013)

Man on man, I would *love* to be in your situation. Having a wife who wants to be "serviced" every night.

Yeah, you've gotten some other good advice. Definitely talk to your doctor, and see if some bloodwork tests could help pinpoint a hormonal imbalance. Maybe get your body chemistry back in balance so that 2x/3x is doable. Diet and exercise, as had been mentioned. 

Also, you can please her with oral, toys, hands... gives your body another few days to recover for a stronger PIV performance.

Communication is paramount. Disappointment is the mathematical difference between expectations and reality. Negotiate expectations that are reasonable.


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## DaveWalters (Aug 26, 2013)

DaveWalters said:


> Man on man, I would *love* to be in your situation. Having a wife who wants to be "serviced" every night.


Lol... Meant "Man oh man".

And secondly, it's not just women who like to be treated nicely, flirted with, respected, and romanced.

If she's being too demanding, maybe it's time to remind her that if she expects to get "serviced", she's going to need to do a little work to earn it, also. Kind words, appreciation, and some genuine affection would go a long way toward helping you to meet her intimacy needs.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

Please tell us more about your condition?

Are there treatments? What are the side-effects of them?

Are you sure your wife is going through menopause? It seems to me she is pre-perimenopausal - in other words, hitting her stride.

Prior to your condition becoming a factor, how was your relationship? 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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