# He doesn't love me?



## omg.jen (Jun 3, 2011)

I have been with my bf for 2 years, but he never said he loved me. Despite that we have a great relationship and we really care for each other.

Recently he told me he has been questioning himself why couldn't he say the three words to me although it's been 2 years already.
He started to think that he didn't truly love me and asked if he should let me go. He thought it was unfair to me if he'd never be able to give me what I deserve. He said he really liked me, but there is some kind of feeling missing that he couldn't say he loved me. Plus he didn't want to waste couple more valuable years of mine to realize that he still feels the same way (not wanting to marry me). He also kept saying how he wanted us to be friends forever, and he will always be there when I need him.

After he opened it all up to me and I chose to keep the relationship because I could not let go while we are so happy with each other. He agreed to keep working things out as he couldn't stand seeing me so upset.

Now I am confused --- what does it mean by "i like you very, very much, but something is missing so I don't love?" And why would he keep calling me more often than before the confrontation to just talk to me, even when we are both at work.. while he is so unsure of his feeling towards me?


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## mikey11 (May 31, 2011)

it sounds to me like you are his "plan b" or "fallback girl"

he wants to keep you there and keep you around in case he cant find anything better....if he cant he will settle for you....

sorry to be so harsh just my honest opinion....


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

The "something that is missing" should be "you".


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## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

unbelievable said:


> The "something that is missing" should be "you".


:iagree:^*THIS*^:iagree:

Like i've told countless upon countless of women on here. When a man wants you, when a man pursues you, when a man LOVES you... you know it. He doesn't even have to say it. All this playing games with you heart, you need to drop this guy yesterday. Unless you have a 3rd leg growing out of your back, dump this guy, there is another waiting out that will cherish you.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Basically, this clown is telling you that you're not good enough to love but you're not horrible enough to leave. He's content to leave you chained in the yard to a tree and to toss out a cold biscuit if he happens to think about it. The world is a big place filled with lonely people. If you don't blow his skirt up, so be it. You are 100% perfect for many other men who long daily for someone exactly like you. You don't need to be someone's "almost good enough."


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

yep.


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## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

Look honestly inward and figure out for yourself why you would be willing to stick around and tolerate a man who has said openly to you, despite all his nice 'friend' qualities, that he does not love you... and as you figure that out and work on addressing it, get out of this relationship so you can offer that 'improved omg.jen' to another man who actually *does* want you for real.

Give him credit for being honest and get out now while you can remain friendly before future real heartbreak occurs. Move on!

P.S. I bet he comes running full-tilt when you deciee to move on... don't fall for it.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

The "thing" that's missing is called passion and life sucks hard (for both parties) without it. Who knows what trips his trigger? Every heart wants what it wants. Doesn't mean you're not "good enough", just means you may not be his cup of tea. Better to find out now than after marriage, a few kids, and a dozen wasted years.


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## TemperToo (Apr 23, 2011)

unbelievable said:


> The "thing" that's missing is called passion and life sucks hard (for both parties) without it. Who knows what trips his trigger? Every heart wants what it wants. Doesn't mean you're not "good enough", just means you may not be his cup of tea. Better to find out now than after marriage, a few kids, and a dozen wasted years.


:iagree: VERY much so. Because I am living the "finding out after marriage, a few kids, and a dozen wasted years." It sucks. Cut your losses and move on.


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## FL. MACHINIST (Jun 5, 2011)

what part of tn you from? i am originally from chattanooga.


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## BigToe (Jun 2, 2011)

I agree with the others...if he loved you he'd say it. Since he is not willing to marry you the question becomes what do you want out of the relationship. I don't think saying "I love you" is a requirement if you are satisfied just dating this guy, but if you are hoping it proceeds to marriage then I think you need to end it and move on to someone who does love you and WILL say it without you asking.


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## jimrich (Sep 26, 2010)

omg.jen said:


> I have been with my bf for 2 years, but he never said he loved me.
> >> Did you ever ask him to say it or ask him about that? Good communications is a basic relationship skill but often needs to be learned to do it well.
> 
> Now I am confused --- what does it mean by "i like you very, very much, but something is missing so I don't love?"
> ...


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Just because you date someone, and just because YOU feel you're in love, doesn't mean the other person WILL - or has any OBLIGATION to - love you back.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

omg.jen said:


> Now I am confused --- what does it mean by "i like you very, very much, but something is missing so I don't love?"


It means exactly what he says: he's not that into you. 

After two years where he didn't say ILY, you shoulda known what the score was. 

Cut your losses & move on.


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