# Married at 21 and seperated by 23



## Neshia143z (Dec 13, 2012)

Hello everyone, Well to start off I got married at the tender age of 21 to my husband that was 21 as well. We dated since the age of 19 but as soon as we got MARRIED things begin to get tragic QUICKLY. Im not going to say I was the perfect wife, but when your husband NEVER has any complaints or suggestions its hard to know what may be a problem. We soon started to seperate then get back together, than the cycle repeated itself several times up until todays date. Well now Im to the point where I want out because a lack of affection&ATTENTION. My husband will go 24hrs without callin me, texting me, an as a female I want to feel TLC. I can be having car problems while having to drive the kids places and myself while my husbands car is functioning fine, he will never offer to switch cars since he works literally up the street from our house, and his car will be parked for hours at a time. My husband feels his only responsibilty is to go to work and not cheat, when I feel those two things dont deserve praise, those things come standard when your a husband with a wife and kids.

He gets offeneded by everything that comes out my mouth. Soon as we have an argument he leaves and acts as if he's single. He will stay out for over 24hours, and say Im childish for wanting to be divorced. Arguments turn into comment "hitting below the belt" by sayin things that any person who loves someone just WOULD NOT SAY. I tell him constantly how i feel and he's quick to say that everything isnt about me. Im not materialistic at all. I only want to feel loved and cared for. He can chat with a girl that he considers his "bestfriend" throughout the day but can't call or text me at all. He makes me feel as if he's doing me a favor by being with me! He has told me to my face that "women probably look at me, than look at him, and wonder why is he with her"<<< than he took the comment back, but the damage was already done. I even started seeking counciling to see if im wrong or if im the problem. I JUST DON'T KNOW ANYMORE!!!!


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## LiamN (Nov 5, 2012)

You and your husband are very young and things can change fast. He obviously is not attracted to you any more. There is nothing wrong with you, that is just how it is.
You really have two choices. Stay and try to get the attraction back or leave and seek your happiness elsewhere. There is no right or wrong with either - the only mistake you can ever make is in not following what your heart tells you.


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## Lilies12 (Dec 8, 2012)

It sounds like he is being verbally abusive, you don't say things like that to the person you love. He shouldn't be taking off for hours and days at a time, he has a family at home. Both of you are young, I know the feeling because I got married 2 months before I turned 21. But that still isnt an excuse to go out and act like your single. If you want to try and work it out, write a list of things you want to change, and tell him about it. Tell him that these things need to change or else it isnt going to work, if you havent tried marriage couseling, ask him if he is interested. If not and he isnt willing to make an effort then you are better off walking away. It isnt you, you are obviously trying to make it work and want him home. PLease dont think there is something wrong with you, just sounds like he is being a d***! Best of Luck to you!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Your husband has a female friend who is his "best friend"? And he disappears for hours at a time.. long hours? He's probably having an affair. The way he treats you speaks of the possibility of an affair.

How old are your children? Do you work outside the home?

Working to support his wife and children and not cheating do indeed deserve praise. Just like you doing a good job to raise your children deserves praise. If the two of you cannot show appreciation to each other.. someone else will.. like the 'best friend'.

The divorce rates for women married under 25 and men under 30 is very high. People's brains do not even finish developing until age 26. Marriage so young in this society, that does not really value marriage, is not wise. I'm telling you this to let you know that you are fighting a very common battle.


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## Janz121 (Dec 11, 2012)

Have you tried marriage counciling yet? if not i would suggest that, if that doesnt change his ways then you should leave him because you should not be treated like that!


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