# STBW unable to O anymore...taking hydrocodone for pain



## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

My STBW had surgeryon her ear nearly a week ago now. Her drive is still there and then some  We have done some very restrained fooling around, even some very gentle PIV. It's been great for me. For her, it's been well, frustrating. She hasn't been able to O no matter what we try. I'm usualy able to get her off with barely more than a look, and my fingers and mouth are doing nothing, PIV did nothing, she can't do it herself, and even her vib isn't doing it. It is extremely frustrating for her as you can imagine. She describes the sensation as saying 'It's like my spot is completely gone'

Could this be a side affect of taking a fairly high dosage of hydrocodone for several days? Anyone have any experience with hydro and it affecting orgasm?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Yes it is a side effect of the pain killers. Once she can switch to ibuprofen, it may take 24 hours before her brain chemistry goes back to normal. Orgasm difficulty while on pain killers is the only thing that keeps me from taking them more often, cause my gosh it is great to not feel any pain anywhere!


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Well an update on this issue...she's off the pain killers, and the O's are back with avengence


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

CharlieParker said:


> How is she doing otherwise? O's will of course help.


Thanks for asking! She is going prety well. Still gets tired a bit easier, and the healing process has taken hold meaning bizarre quick pains as the nerves realign, itching, crackling and popping down in the ear...so yeah, a decnt level of discomfort still. We won't really know how successful things really were for another week and a half at her first follow up visit, so we are anxiously looking forward to that.

For now, she is ignoring the cosmetic issues until all the swelling and healing is done. I have tried my hardest to reassure her that I still think she is the most beautiful woman in the world to me, and it has been pretty successful


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

samyeagar said:


> For now, she is ignoring the cosmetic issues until all the swelling and healing is done. I have tried my hardest to reassure her that I still think she is the most beautiful woman in the world to me, and it has been pretty successful



That right there is orgasm worthy!

Hang in there, only a few weeks more and things will go back to normal in the brain chemistry department.

How has her lack of orgasmic ability affected your sex life? 

Like Ive written in another thread, when we are having sex and it becomes obvious my orgasm isn't going to happen, I can still feel an emotional high by his desire for me. Even though he would prefer to avoid sex if my orgasm is likely off the table....which translates to me as a lack of desire for me....just saying...


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> That right there is orgasm worthy!
> 
> Hang in there, only a few weeks more and things will go back to normal in the brain chemistry department.
> 
> ...


Her lack during the last week and a half was awful! We are used to her getting off almost effortlessly. It hit my esteem really badly, and built her frustration for simple release. The thing that helped was that we had a very likely explanation in the pain killers, and they were only temporary, but it is hard to remind yourself of that in the moment.

The whole thing was very much as you described. She even said that the emotional closeness even without the O was worth it for her, and my hesitation knowing her O was unlikely translated as a lack of desire for her. It took a lot for me to go ahead with having sex even though she was the one who was very obviously initiating. Attraction and desire for her had nothing to do with it. I'm just as attracted to her as I ever have been, and my desire for this woman is off the charts.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

"It took a lot for me to go ahead with having sex even though she was the one who was very obviously initiating."


Can you explain this more? I don't get it.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> "It took a lot for me to go ahead with having sex even though she was the one who was very obviously initiating."
> 
> 
> Can you explain this more? I don't get it.


Sure. She had her surgery on a Thursday. Had her ear removed and glued back on with lots of internal things worked on as well. Saturday afternoon, she wanted to have sex and put the moves on me even though she was still in a lot of pain. I am there looking at my woman, very obviously in great discomfort, so I felt really awful about that, and then thoughts of literally ripping her ear off if I do things wrong. So that is basically why I was hesitant. I wa afraid of hurting her, and I did ask her probably too many times if se was sure, and actually tried to talk her out of doing it so soon.

She ended up giving me a HJ, and that is when we discovered she wasn't orgasming. Nothing I tried worked. Things that I know for a fact have gotten her from 0 to done in less than three minutes...nothing. We ended up having sex that night. Again Sunday, she wanted sex. We ended up tying six or so times to get her off between Saturday and Monday and it just didn't work. She still wanted PIV even knowing the O wasn't going to happen. We really only took two days off even though I was thinking more like a week would have been good, but she's the one who unitiated. Now that she is off the hydro, things are back to normal as far as her response, we are back to both iniating, I just still need to be careful not to shake her around too much


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Gotcha, yeah, that would be tough!


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> Gotcha, yeah, that would be tough!


Ha! I just posted on your duty sex topic...this is kind of along the same lines...but very different reasons...it was kind of a bizarre duty sex that I had with her I guess...


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Not even the same though! Not even.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Seriously though, do you have any idea how hard it is to get an erection when you are worried about literally ripping the side of your womans face off? 

I manned up and did her anyway...and I did her in a way that let her stay in one piece


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

I can only imagine! If my H had a similar surgery and still wanted me....OMG....it would be terrifying!


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> I can only imagine! If my H had a similar surgery and still wanted me....OMG....it would be terrifying!


The thing is, we talked about sex and what would happen before the surgery, and I suggested we should plan on waiting at least a couple of weeks, and she said she didn't want to put arbitrary times out there and we'd take it as it comes. I took that to mean we'd probably wait longer, and I was fine with that. I just want her to get better. Well...NOOOOO...it meant she could only wait a couple of days! Lucky, lucky man I am


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Yes you still get to count yourself as lucky...BUT...yes that was still a very scary situation! I don't know if I could have done it at all. The thought of something going wrong would have shut my body down completely, I think.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

It was kind of scary. Lots of are you sures, and we don't have to do this from me. Part of why I was torn about it, and didn't flat out say no was because I knew she wanted it from a physical stand point, but also from an emotional standpoint. She was very concerned about how I would feel about her cosmetically after the surgery, would I still be attracted, and I think that was part of what she was wanting...reassurance that I indeed did. I have a feeling that rejection at that point, even with a very good, loving reason, no matter how I explained it to her, would have hurt worse than any physical pain.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

samyeagar said:


> It was kind of scary. Lots of are you sures, and we don't have to do this from me. Part of why I was torn about it, and didn't flat out say no was because I knew she wanted it from a physical stand point, but also from an emotional standpoint. She was very concerned about how I would feel about her cosmetically after the surgery, would I still be attracted, and I think that was part of what she was wanting...reassurance that I indeed did. *I have a feeling that rejection at that point, even with a very good, loving reason, no matter how I explained it to her, would have hurt worse than any physical pain*.


:smthumbup:


How'd you get to be so damn smart!


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

I can't O on hydrocodone either, I last until the abrasion is to much


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

okeydokie said:


> I can't O on hydrocodone either, I last until the abrasion is to much


This is when lube is really important. Reading Sam's words in this thread, as well as other threads women should take home the lesson that being emotionally connected means satisfying and pain free sex. How easy it is for both men and women to feel rejected, even when there is so obvious a culprit as pain killers, when sex isn't wonderfully satisfying.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> This is when lube is really important. Reading Sam's words in this thread, as well as other threads women should take home the lesson that being emotionally connected means satisfying and pain free sex. How easy it is for both men and women to feel rejected, even when there is so obvious a culprit as pain killers, when sex isn't wonderfully satisfying.


Are you thinking maybe I should not have gone through with having sex with her? I guess I'm not completely clear with what you are saying here. Sorry


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