# No trust, no us



## h0n3y (Jul 10, 2012)

I have been married 2 years, second anniversary June 4th. My husband is in the military and was based away from home. He dated all through high school and while i was in College. Got married and it took me 6 months to move in with him because we were waiting on our apartment to be available and he was staying on base so i couldnt move until than. When i first came out i seen where my husband was being very flirtatious with another girl in the military. He also went to movies with her. When i asked him about it he said that it was nothing and basically tried to down play the situation. I wanted to ask her what went on between them but she knew about me, so if she was willing to flirt with him and go on dates when she knows he is married why would she be a woman and tell me the truth. I also seen where he was texting his guy friend about having sex with s girl. He was bragging about how he was able to give her an orgasm and what her private parts liked like and everything. When i first asked him about that he lied and said it was his friend using his phone to tell another friend because his girlfriend was in town and didnt want her to see it. When i brought to his attention how much sense that didnt make and how if it was his friend there would of been a text stating that it was indeed him and that wasnt the case. I also told him that if he other friend needed to tell him that so bad he could of just used his own phone and delete the messages, simple. After he seen that story wouldnt stick he than said he know it would sound stupid but he told his friend a lie because he was messing with him about being married and not being able to do what he wants so he made up a lie so his friend would think he was being a dog basically. Which i still dont believe because he had his friend send a fake text saying he was sorry for using his phone he didnt want to cause any trouble in our marriage. I forgave him about that and moved on. So now a year later i find out a week about he has been texting another military girl every night he was been at work for a whole month now. I noticed they started talking the day we had a heated argument over a fight we got into, third time, where he was trashed my things called me out of my name and mushed me in my face and slings me around the room. She sent him pictures in her bathing suit trying to get him to come to her room, she lives on base, and his reply was "damn your killing me right now, send more" she sent him another one and asked him if he liked what he seen and he said "of course but you already knew that." The reason i checked was because he was being overly secretive and really guarded about his phone he would change his lock code every time he knew i knew it. Which two married people shouldnt even have a lock on their phones unless they both know the codes. After i seen it i played like i didnt. He had this "trust" rule when i wanted to look through his phone he wanted me to ask so we can look through it together. So i asked and he gave me this whole why do i want to look? Do i not trust him? and when he did unlock it he scrolled through his phone call log lol, i swear he thinks im the dumbest girl in the world, and than shuts his phone back into lock mode when i told him i wanted to see the text records he played like he was sick and had to use the restroom. I went out to walk my dog and came back in he was laying down, when i looked at his phone again he deleted the messages. It was too late i seen it and i forwarded myself the messages because i knew he would do that exact thing. I played like i didnt know for a couple of days but it was eating me up inside. So when he noticed i knew something he started to say how he wish he could just talk to me about things but i make it hard, but he doesnt try either. His confession was his friend Burt was deployed and she is suppose to be his girlfriend so he gave her his info to give to a Burt so they could talk over deployment. This girl also works at night like he does and they could easily be seeing each other there. My question was why he went through her im sure his other friends had his info as well. He said he thought he was cutting out the middle man and that the relationship started out friendly talking about Burt and work and than she started sending him pictures and wanting him to come over and thats when he stopped writing her back. Now this same friend that he bragged about having sex with a girl a year ago texted him a saturday evening volunteering to drop him off over to her room because my husband was texting how i was getting on his nerves and he wanted to get out the house. This being the same night he left me when we were suppose to go to a party together because he said i was acting mean. So i asked him what was that all about and did he go over there and lied and said no. So being that i had the number i texted the girl and told her who i was and that i wasnt trying to start any drama with her or anything of that matter i just wanted the truth for my sake. She told me she didnt even know he was married he made it seem like he was a young party boy and he said he just got out of a five year relationship and she wondered why she was never invited over and he told her because "the girl" stuff was still at the house. She said that they never did have sex but i dont know if i want to believe that because if it got out both of them can get punished for it especially him. She also confirmed he did go to her room and they watched a movie. I asked him why did he lie about her being the girlfriend of his friend Burt and he says he didnt want me to know he gave her his number. I asked why he lied about going over there because he did go to watch a "movie" he than said he went over there for about 10 mins and left because it was too awkward. Its like lies built on top of lies and he will actually lie to my face even when i find out about something until i myself get the truth than he is like ok yeah this did happen. I dont like that at all when i first find out and ask he should tell me everything than but he would rather make up another lie instead of confessing. I think about divorcing him everyday but i dont want to make a big mistake. Even though all the signs are there that he clearly wasnt ready for this marriage i still think about what it could be. We are both still very young 22 years old to be exact and he has cheated on my 2 maybe 3 times since a two year marriage. We have no kids or assets together so i figure i should get out before we have other lives to put in consideration. Also when i told him he made it seem like i was so pathetic for going through his phone and told he he wasnt cheating, in his mind if he didnt have sex with her he wasnt cheating. When i did tell him he was he threw my phone across the room and called me a ***** and a hoe. When i told him that he has lost all respect for me calling me a ***** he replied its just a word chanting "*****, *****, *****" in my face. Im going back home soon to have alone time and think things through. I haven yet decided that yes i want a divorce and he doesnt know because he wont let me leave in peace. If someone can please shed some light on if im moving in the right direction with this or am i just being young and dumb.


----------



## MrsOldNews (Feb 22, 2012)

If you have any self respect left for yourself you'll leave this man before he completely destroys you emotionally.


----------

