# He Cheated and Got Someone Pregnant



## love_lost (Feb 21, 2018)

The situation is the following.

My husband has been having an affair with a woman that he meet on TINDER! I was aware of the female because I caught then in our car at a movie parking lot and she was about to perform a sexual act on him. I was under the impression that the relationship was over after that. However, the day before thanksgiving, I found that she was talking to him on snapchat. I messaged her and asked why was she still talking to my husband if she knew he was married. She never responded.

A few weeks later, I saw something else from this girl and I messaged her again. This time to get a response of being cursed out. I simply told her that SZA has all yall side pieces empowered but you can spend the weekend elsewhere and not with my husband. No response came from that. 

Now fast foward to present day. I figured all communication was ceased I hadn't seen anything or noticed anything different in my husband's behavior. Then one day my house phone rings and it is her, she is screaming and yelling and cursing me out and tells me that her and my husband are expecting! TWINS! Im devestated! 

My husband was aware that she is saying that she is pregnant and was happy. He told her he was going to leave me for her and the kids. Now he has changed his mind and is trying to work it out with me. We have went to counseling and are having weekly sessions. However, now the other woman has become vicious. She has lied on me stating that I have been calling her and threathening her from several numbers, that I have been forcing her to get an abortion, etc. I have not once messaged her since the two text messages mention before. 

She has threathen my husbands career, his finances, and his marriage. He now sees that the grass is not greener on the other side. He has asked her to get an abortion and she will only agree if he leaves me. She has not proven that she is pregnant at all. SHe is claiming it is twins at 8 weeks. She has stated she has been to the doctors 3 times for appointments. She wont provide him proof because she does not want me to see it. She also has an abusive ex-boyfriend that is asking her to move in with him all at the same time. 

She has messaged me several times and called me and try to make my reconciliation with husband hard. She has told him that if she has to use this pregnancy as a way to get him out of the abusive relationship he is in then so be it. I do not know what to do. I want to press charges on her but can i? 

If she is pregnant,it could be the other mans baby. She is not concerned about the future of the child its all about having my husband and him leaving me. She already told him that the children can not be around me or come to our home. What can we do? Can he make her get an abortion legally since she is trying to have a baby out of maliace? 

She hates me and keeps trying to put my husband against me. She tells him lies all the time. What should i do? Can I do anything legally? How do we make her prove she is pregnant?


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## OnTheRocks (Sep 26, 2011)

RUN


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Do you have children with the lying cheating scum bag?

If so my advice would be the same as not.

Kick this bum to the curb!

Please you know that this serial cheater will cheat on you time and time again.

To the ****ing curb with this asshat!


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## love_lost (Feb 21, 2018)

No kids with him... i was pregnant when i found out but the stress from the situation made me miscarry.


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## drifting on (Nov 22, 2013)

Love lost

Tomorrow, and I mean tomorrow, you go and get a restraining order. You have more then enough evidence to prove she is unfit, harassing, and threatening. You do not need to wait until a physical act has been done, read that again. You do not have to wait until a physical act has been done. If she makes contact after the restraining has been served to her she gets arrested for any contact. Do this tomorrow, do not wait to act.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

Well, i have been pregnant three times. In the recent past. Gave birth in the united states. 

By 8 weeks you don't have 3 DOCTOR appointments, You have a single appointment to verify the pregnancy, and at 8 weeks an ultrasound (to date the pregnancy) and then by 11-13 weeks your first OBGYN apt to hear heartbeat etc.... 

I think by the sheer number of times she is claiming to have gone to the dr. I call bull****. 

Also, i would sue her...the mental strain led you to miscarry.... Nail the ***** to the wall.


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## lisamaree (Nov 2, 2014)

I agree with those who said run... but, your husband needs to demand proof. He needs to tell her not to contact again until she provides proof that she is pregnant. Also ASAP Once it’s possible he needs to do a paternity test. But I really think you should just get out. You will have to deal with her and your cheating husband for 18 years if you stay and chances are he will cheat with her again or some other woman.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

My God lady get the hell away from this loser.


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## pragmaticGoddess (Nov 29, 2017)

I don’t advise divorce lightly but your H does not deserve you. Please leave him and the mess that he has created. It sounds like you see the OW as the enemy, but for all the hoohah she is creating your H is quietly sitting back hoping you don’t ask him for a D. You might have forgotten that he betrayed you as well. 

I’m sorry but the truth is your H is terrible husband material. Remember that this man wanted to leave you for this OW. Remember that he is part of the reason for the stress you endured that les to your miscarriage.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Sounds doubtful that she’s pregnant. Either way, it’s your husband’s mess to untangle.

Kick him to the curb, lest you relive this Hell every few months/years, and probably with more than this one slore.


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## Rhubarb (Dec 1, 2017)

love_lost said:


> No kids with him... i was pregnant when i found out but the stress from the situation made me miscarry.


Sorry about your miscarriage but it seems now your best option is to just dump him. If she is pregnant and you stay with him, you are going to be shelling out your hard earned cash for this this woman's kids. If she's not, the choice is not so black and white. I would still say since you don't have kids, your best option is to leave. Do you really want to be with someone capable of backstabbing you like this? It could only be a matter of time until you are in the same boat again.


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

OnTheRocks said:


> RUN


Run real Fast!


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

love_lost said:


> No kids with him... i was pregnant when i found out but the stress from the situation made me miscarry.


No kids with him? This is a no brainer! RUN. Leave him, divorce him, let her have him. He deserves her, not you. Your too good for him.


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## tropicalbeachiwish (Jun 1, 2016)

Get a restraining order on her. Both of you need to stop all contact with her immediately. Block her on all social media. 

If she ends up having a baby, he’ll know by her suing him for child support. At that time, get a paternity test done. 

Until then, get yourself a divorce attorney and start the process. BTW, your husband is not a victim here. He repeatedly had sex with this woman. Most likely, it’s not the first affair and most likely, it won’t be the last.


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## NickyT (Aug 14, 2017)

For your safety and sanity, get away from this situation. There is no working it out with your husband. He has lied TOO MUCH and he has brought a crazy woman into your life.

STOP engaging this woman today. Block her. You can not control her and the more you try to the more desperate she will become. STOP engaging your husband. He lies. He lies. He lies. He does not respect you and I don't care how much he tells you sweet things. Kick him the heck out. Now.

If he wants you back because the grass is not greener, then he is going to have to earn you back and you DO NOT do that from inside the home. If he wants you back, then you have to get tough. You have to tell him to: 1. get out for now, 2. resolve this issue of the other woman 3. let him know you will not have contact with him for 3 months, and at that time he can sensibly tell you the situation with batsh*t crazy girl. If she is really pregnant, and I do not believe she is, then divorce your husband immediately and move on. Being married to a man who has twins with an unstable woman is going to result in a life of drama and worse.

YOU, dear OP, are also at fault here. Stop getting involved in your husband's drama and lies. You are trying to make sense of and trying to control two people who lie, cheat and don't give a rat's @ss what they do to you so long as they can have what they want - in her case it is your husband and in his case it is her p*ssy. Wake up. Remove yourself from this nonsense.


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## Steve2.0 (Dec 11, 2017)

What you should do is get AWAY from this man. He may have decided to end that relationship (because maybe he realized she is crazy and will try to ruin his life) 

BUT that doesnt mean he wont just wait a few weeks/months/years before he tries to find a new girl that isnt so crazy.

GET AWAY NOW... And do not have children with him


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

My opinion will sound very similar to others you have read here. You need to leave this man. He is a poor excuse of a husband, and you don't deserve all this drama in your life.

If she IS pregnant, and IF he IS the father... that means Miss Crazy will be a part of your life until she dies. You will be dealing with her BS and ridiculous demands at least until the child is 18, but likely longer. Additionally, a good portion of your household $$$ will be going to this woman for child support for the next 18 yrs. This will seriously impact your financial security and future. This woman and her child will be taking away from your children. And assuming that your husband gets split custody, you will have to act as loving stepmother to a walking reminder of your husband's infidelity.

Are you willing to do all that for a man who has been unfaithful to you?

Even if she isn't pregnant, he's still a cheater. If he's done this once, he'll do it again, more than likely. Even if he doesn't, it will always be in the back of your mind as a possibility. Is THAT something you're willing to live with? To commit to continue to spend the rest of your life with a man who has so little respect for you and your wedding vows that he would cheat on you and put you through all this?

You could be the "bigger" person and stay with him through all this, but sometimes being the "bigger" person just means that you're a glutton for punishment. Don't do that to yourself. You deserve better.

Go see a lawyer and begin the separation/divorce process.


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## Magnesium (Jun 19, 2017)

This sounds like an episode of Maury. I'm disgusted.

I hope you leave and get some dignity and self-respect before dating again.


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## Primrose (Mar 4, 2015)

There is not a single redeeming quality about this man. You need to leave or I promise you that you will find yourself back in this situation again in the future. 

The OW may or may not be pregnant. That is none of your concern any longer because you need to free yourself of the worthless excuse of a husband you find yourself with. You are villainizing the OW instead of pointing the blame where it really belongs- at your man. 

Besides, you are in for a lifetime of pure misery if she is indeed pregnant. I'm not sure what state you are in, but you will be forking over approximately once check a month to this woman along with making sure the children are insured.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

love_lost said:


> Im devestated!


I imagine that you are devastated. I’m truly not sure why you want to continue your marriage to a man who has lied to you to this extent and now refuses to pro


love_lost said:


> My husband was aware that she is saying that she is pregnant and was happy. He told her he was going to leave me for her and the kids. Now he has changed his mind and is trying to work it out with me. We have went to counseling and are having weekly sessions. However, now the other woman has become vicious. She has lied on me stating that I have been calling her and threathening her from several numbers, that I have been forcing her to get an abortion, etc. I have not once messaged her since the two text messages mention before.


How do you know that she is telling people that you are threatening her? Who is telling you this.
The bit about you forcing her to get an abortion is ridiculous. No one can force another person to get an abortion.


love_lost said:


> She has threathen my husbands career, his finances, and his marriage. He now sees that the grass is not greener on the other side. He has asked her to get an abortion and she will only agree if he leaves me. She has not proven that she is pregnant at all. SHe is claiming it is twins at 8 weeks. She has stated she has been to the doctors 3 times for appointments. She wont provide him proof because she does not want me to see it. She also has an abusive ex-boyfriend that is asking her to move in with him all at the same time.


There is a reality that you need to accept. It’s your husband who threatened his own marriage, career and finances. 
Very often the betrayed spouse (you) gets all upset at the affair partner, when the affair partners is not the one who lied to them or cheated on them. It’s your husband, not that woman, who betrayed you and cheated on you. HE and HE alone decided to trash every aspect of his own life. You need to focus your anger on the HIM not her.
Keep in mind that what often happens in that the cheater tries to put all the focus of anger on their affair partner to make themselves look not so bad. My kids used to do something like this when they were young. I’d catch them doing something that they were not supposed to do. And then it would start… “But Emily started it, it’s all her fault. Blah blah blah” I did not buy that for a moment. They were all doing it, they all guilty. Except that you need to treat the OW (other woman) like she does not exist. Your problem is not with her, it’s with your husband.


love_lost said:


> She has messaged me several times and called me and try to make my reconciliation with husband hard. She has told him that if she has to use this pregnancy as a way to get him out of the abusive relationship he is in then so be it. I do not know what to do. I want to press charges on her but can i?


She can only ‘try to make your reconciliation with your husband hard” if you allow it. When she calls just state “DO NOT CALL ME” and hang up. If she texts you, reply back “DO NOT CALL OR TEXT ME”. Do not say anything else to her. If you send her this message a few times and she continues, talk to an attorney about filing a restraining order against her. Just keep in mind that a restraining order goes both ways. You also cannot ever again talk to her or be within so many feet of her.



love_lost said:


> If she is pregnant,it could be the other mans baby. She is not concerned about the future of the child its all about having my husband and him leaving me. She already told him that the children can not be around me or come to our home. What can we do? Can he make her get an abortion legally since she is trying to have a baby out of maliace?


Your husband needs to get an attorney on this NOW. He can ask for a paternity test.
First, she has to prove that she is pregnant. Then she will have to provide a paternity test to prove that he’s the father. A paternity test can now be done from about the 8th week of pregnancy using just the mother’s blood. Apparently, the child’s DNA is present in a pregnant woman’s blood. So she can do the test now. And until she proves that she is pregnant, and your husband is the father, your husband should not give her a dime in child support or even talk to her about this pregnancy and these children
If your husband is the father of the twins (if they even exist), she has zero control over whether they come to your house or you are around them. If he is their father, he has as much right to shared custody as she does… he can go for 50/50 custody and have them half the time. So they will be in your house half the time and around you if the two of you stay married. But that does not mean it will be easy because from the sounds of it she’s going to play a lot of mean games that hurt the children.
Seem to me that there is a very high probability that either she is not pregnant or the other guy is the father of the children. Or it could be yet some other guy.


love_lost said:


> She hates me and keeps trying to put my husband against me. She tells him lies all the time. What should i do? Can I do anything legally? How do we make her prove she is pregnant?


Why is your husband even talking to her to her any lies she has to tell? You need to demand that he go no-contact ASAP. He needs to write her a no-contact letter and let her know that until she can prove via a paternity test that she is pregnant and that he’s the father, he wants no contact with her and that she cannot contact him.

Now if he wants to continue to have contact with her, then you need to throw him out on his cheating behind. Since he is still in contact with her, he is still cheating on you. 

You are what is called a legal stranger in this mess. That means that YOU cannot force her to prove that she is pregnant or that he’s the father. There is no court that pay attention to your request for this.

But your husband has legal standing. He cannot force her to get an abortion, at least not legally. But he can go to a lawyer and have the lawyer sue her to do a paternity test. 

He can wait until the pregnancy is showing (that’s how she proves that she’s pregnant) and sue her for paternity and a pre-natal pregnancy test. 

Or he waits until the baby is born, and she sues him for child support and then he replies with a demand for a paternity test and for 50% custody.
It would be wise for him to see an attorney once it’s clear that she is pregnant to make sure that he plans ahead for all this.

If she keeps harassing you, you can talk to the police and/or an attorney to file a restraining order for her to stay away from you and end all contact. 

How long have the two of you been married?
How old are the two of you?


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

The thing that I can't wrap my head around is how the OP had all these discussions with the OW and didn't set some lines in the sand with her husband about in appropriate behavior. It is like he wasn't in the conversation at all. How can that be?

From my limited knowledge, it really doesn't matter who is the biological father in many places, it is who the State child protective services has reported as the mother that will come after the "assigned baby daddy" and his paycheck. Oh and the 'Deadbeat dad" laws in the US are pretty harsh, they can deny driver's licenses, professional licenses, garnishee wages, force payment for child insurance, etc.

Yes, this guy needs solid legal advice and maybe getting a vasectomy as well.

The advice of run is well founded. He is not marriage material no matter how many babies he fathers.


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