# The time has come



## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

The long painful backstory is here... http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/62404-need-help-coping.html 

Should have the money together for the lawyer's retainer next week. Will file and hand deliver to STBXW and hope she agrees to mediation. I wish I could get it rolling faster. But, I need to prepare the finances first. 

I'm going to fight for custody and to remain in the marital home. She is currently staying with her grandmother, which helps my case. But she could come back at any time, so I need to be ready.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Acoa... just read your whole thread... Wow! Might I suggest you just add a post to your original thread telling people you started a new one in the "Going Through Divorce" section... 

You probably have a lot of "followers" on your original thread who might miss this...

I'm sorry for all that you are going through.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

She is trying to figure out how to convince you to reconcile. 

It will be impossible for her to afford a home large enough to accomodate your sons, unless you set her up. If she signs a lease, she'll be financially committed and less likely to move home.

Of course if she goes after community property and alimony, you'll be in big trouble financially, unless you have deep pockets. She needs to get excited about starting her life over as a single woman with a reputation as a cheater who got dumped. Hard.

Although your WW thoroughly deserves this, I think the tragedy for her is that she loved you in her selfish, disrespectful, cake-eating way. Teenagers get forgiven for treating their parents outrageously. Your wife is too old for such consideration.

If OMW kicks OM out, do you think there is some chance he and your wife will try to salvage their lives on the flotsam of their marriages?


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

LongWalk said:


> She is trying to figure out how to convince you to reconcile.
> 
> It will be impossible for her to afford a home large enough to accomodate your sons, unless you set her up. If she signs a lease, she'll be financially committed and less likely to move home.
> 
> ...



I agree she loved me. But she likes to play with fire and do risky things. In one of her journals she had written about the cyber affairs that it was like lighting a match and seeing how long you could let it burn before you let go. Well, she let the PAs burn too long and now she is going to hurt. 

I also agree that her mind is still set on reconcile. She doesn't say it, but her actions show that she did not believe me two years ago that if more came to light we would be over. She missed that opportunity, I went through 2 years of false R. It was empty and hollow and almost destroyed me. With all I found out on Dday 2, I've been wounded to the core and I wouldn't survive another attempt to R. 

When she finally realizes, I'm not sure what to expect. I doubt she will hook up with OM. It's more likely she will try to salvage relationships with her family, then she will have to make a choice, theater or church. She grew up in the church we now go to. They connect her time at the theater with her downfall. So, if she stayed involved at the theater many at our church would be disappointed. 

The theater would accept her back. It would be uncomfortable for her in a few cliques, but there are stranger stories than hers there. I think eventually she will get back involved there. Her love for theater predates the affairs, that wasn't only a cover for her bad behavior. The question is how long does she stay away. For our kids sake, I hope at least a year. 

If she does get involved again soon, it hurts her in a lot of ways. She loses support from church and some family. Plus it will help me in getting custody. Theater hours are exactly opposite from school. How does she intend to interact with the kids if she is never home when they are?


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Interesting choice for your wife church and redemption or theater and redemption. Guess she has to choose which crowd she wants to run with. Theater, of course it was not a just a cover for fornication, is more exciting, plus there will be more fun there. If she is single it will fill her evenings.

Your kids are are going to be miffed. Right now she is thinking about herself. It's a dark cloudy night and she trying to see the fork in the road. Her shoes are already full of Dday 2 ditch water. You should be by her side leading her the right way. She has been trying to figure out what to say to you. But what is there to say? Does she need a third strike?

For the sake of her mental health she needs to rationalize that this is not the disaster that she knows it is. Some how she has to pull herself together. As you suggest mediation and amicable resolution are in her interests, even if she loses her home. Funny how a divorce in which the family home must sold to create liquidity is horrible for both WS and BS. The children need stability if it can be maintained. Your sons will see her moving out as an admission of guilt. She probably not finding words for them either.

Oh, well, she had her run.


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

LongWalk said:


> Interesting choice for your wife church and redemption or theater and redemption.


One correction, neither choice implies redemption. She could choose either crowd and either be redeemed or not. It's really just a matter of having to choose her circle of friends. She will come out of this with a lot fewer friends, which is going to eat at her. She is a collector of people and has a hard time letting go. 

Which of course could make this D get progressively more difficult.


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## 2asdf2 (Jun 5, 2012)

Acoa said:


> One correction, neither choice implies redemption. She could choose either crowd and either be redeemed or not. *It's really just a matter of having to choose her circle of friends.* She will come out of this with a lot fewer friends, which is going to eat at her. She is a collector of people and has a hard time letting go.
> 
> Which of course could make this D get progressively more difficult.


She'll choose both.

My WW did.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Woo hoo! Congrats


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

Sat down with STBXW and her social worker today. Made it clear to her we were divorcing. She begged and pleaded a bit, but the social worker got it and said they will be working with her on accepting that and making sure she is designing her future plans on what that will look like and not some long shot dream for R. 

She is still okay with mediation and knows I will be filing and dropping off papers as soon as I have the money to put down the retainer. Hopefully that's late next week. Could be the week after depending on how long the banks take to clear the checks.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

She had a social worker because of her hospitalization?

Is she still in out patient treatment?

What did she say in her pleading? A third chance? Never loved anyone but you. It was only sex?

Did she show remorse? Perhaps she was just concentrating selfishly on her own pain?

Did she have any idea how long it would take for her to function normally again?

Was there any discussion of self harm or suicide?

It must be very hard to feel that you have to do the work to clean up the mess. She is incapacitated as a parent. Did she talk about getting her shxt together? She had so much energy for the theater. It's all gone now.


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

She has a social worker as part of her outpatient therapy. As part of her discharge she had to agree to go to a day program. She is there 9 till 3 every business day.

She didn't say much. Just whimpered and said she didn't want us to be over. That she wants to grow old with me.

So, yeah, less than convincing argument on her part. I made it clear we were divorcing. The social worker understood and said they would work with her on building a post divorce life.


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

One step closer. The stock options are executed and the money is in a money market account. I'm having a check drawn today for my lawyer's retainer. Should have it by Friday so I can drop it off. With any luck the petition will be filed next week. 

Next on the list is to schedule the court mandated class on helping the children cope with the divorce.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

Acoa,

Sad situation for you and your family...but especially for her.

I think she will be regretting destroying her M and family til the day she dies.

Too bad there isn't a way to box up and distribute her thoughts and feelings right now to be delivered to other cake-eating WS's so they can see the end result of the path they are walking.

So f***ing stupid...what a waste of a potentially great life.

I hope you are able to guide your family through this very difficult time successfully.

Best of luck.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

She is one WW who feels sorry. Perhaps for herself but also for her children and Acoa, too. She may express deeper remorse with time. It will be important for her healing. Too late to save her marriage.


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

Got the check in hand for the lawyer. I'll sign the retainer agreement and drop it off today. 

I need to get those papers to her so she stops thinking there is a chance. She called me today to check if it was "okay" for her to go see the play out son is in (at the theater where the infidelity occurred). 

I made it quite clear I had no business in helping her make that decision. 

She is still plotting for a path to R. I hope she doesn't fight the D, but it's looking more and more like she might.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Continue to be focused and disciplined brother. You are doing great.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

"She is still plotting for a path to R. I hope she doesn't fight the D, but it's looking more and more like she might."

I am always dumbstruck by the WSs in some threads who beg, plead, and say they don't want a D when the BS finally sets a determined path towards ending the M.

You don't want to D?

Then what the f*ck were you thinking sleeping around with POSs?

It's truly amazing (but not in a good way).


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Dyokemm said:


> It's truly amazing (but not in a good way).


This is what I'd refer to as DUH-mazing.

_Posted via *Topify* using iPhone/iPad_


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Fornicating on the sly was a delicious game to her. Now that the game is over, she wants to resume real life. But there Acoa is no longer sitting around waiting for her. She must absorb this reality.

If she wants to fight it means she is unremorseful, in which case, Acoa need not show her any generosity.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

She enjoyed the fornicating on the sly. But the game is over and reality is unpleasant. Acoa is not waiting for her. She is still absorbing this reality.

If she fights the divorce, then she is showing no remorse. In which case Acoa should show not generosity or friendliness.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

LongWalk said:


> Fornicating on the sly was a delicious game to her. Now that the game is over, she wants to resume real life. But there Acoa is no longer sitting around waiting for her. She must absorb this reality.
> 
> If she wants to fight it means she is unremorseful, in which case, Acoa need not show her any generosity.


:iagree:
All you can do is prepare for the worst.
Just be all business with her you don't have to be nice but not an @sshat either.
Acoa has his sh!t together imo.


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

Just dropped off the signed contract. Reviewing finances over the weekend and having a quick call with the lawyers again on Monday. Should have the petition filed by Tuesday and I will hand it to her with the mediator's instructions. 

If she ignores it we will have her served in 2 weeks and see her in court.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

tom67 said:


> :iagree:
> All you can do is prepare for the worst.
> Just be all business with her you don't have to be nice but not an @sshat either.
> Acoa has his sh!t together imo.


Agreed. It's actually quite impressive.


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## Sammy64 (Oct 28, 2013)

There ya go.. Control it.. thats what i had to do with mine...


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

LongWalk said:


> Fornicating on the sly was a delicious game to her. Now that the game is over, she wants to resume real life. But there Acoa is no longer sitting around waiting for her. She must absorb this reality.
> 
> If she wants to fight it means she is unremorseful, in which case, Acoa need not show her any generosity.





LongWalk said:


> She enjoyed the fornicating on the sly. But the game is over and reality is unpleasant. Acoa is not waiting for her. She is still absorbing this reality.
> 
> If she fights the divorce, then she is showing no remorse. In which case Acoa should show not generosity or friendliness.


LOL... Padding your post count there, LW?


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

There are actually two of me


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

LongWalk said:


> There are actually two of me


Boy, they both think remarkably alike.

:rofl:


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## Ripper (Apr 1, 2014)

Hope the agreement isn't too painful for you and that she just goes along with it. That is the least she could do at this point.


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

I think ACOA has enough leverage against his wife to convince her not to fight the divorce.

I also think ACOA can make her realize that he deserves piece of mind after the 2 year fake reconciliation.

She needs to work on herself.

And he needs to find some solace for himself as well as some piece for the kids.


HM


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

Papers are filed and I hand delivered to STBXW this morning. If she doesn't respond in 2 weeks we will have her served.


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

Did you speak with her?

Was she surprised or relieved?


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

happyman64 said:


> Did you speak with her?
> 
> Was she surprised or relieved?


Stunned I guess. Didn't really talk to her. Told her the night before I had something to drop off on my way to work. I rang the bell, handed it to her through the door turned around and left.


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

I think I just felt a ripple in the force. Felt like an "OMG WHAT DID I DO!" wave.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Acoa,

How do you feel now about her driving on the flat and shredding the tire now? She was cheating at that time. Is it any wonder she did not think straight or take responsibility back then? Moreover, she tried to placate your anger with sex. The tire must have seemed trivial, knowing that she was giving it up for other men under your nose.

She destroyed your marriage over a long period of time. Even if you take some responsibility for not being completely engaged, after Dday 1 the seriousness of your situation should have been completely clear. 

To her credit, after Dday 2, the refusal to hand over her phone, she finally confessed. I would thank her for this because it put an end to the nonsense. One suspects, however, that there could have been others besides the two she revealed. She may have squeezed in some other ONS.

Right now she is reeling from the pain and confusion. It will be very interesting to see if she ever stops for a moment to consider your suffering. Can she imagine what sort of hell she has put you through? There is such a big difference between a cheap "I'm sorry" and deep empathy and sorrow.

The correct conclusion for her to reach is that she does not deserve to be forgiven. She should now be bending over backwards to smooth a divorce favorable to you. The process should be as quick as possible to help put this behind you. She can behave decently now but not if she only thinks about herself. It is no wonder she is on Facebook. She fell off at high speed and looking at the road rash is unbearable.

Your wife is a person of some abilities. If she started working at MacDonald's, for example, she could probably rise up to a managerial postion after a couple years. Assuming she does not allow herself to slide into depression and search for some man to rescue her from her predicament, she can start to take responsibility. Do you think she is going to pull herself together or end up a weak and broken person? Of course, her fate is no longer your responsibility.

Unfortunately, it may take a couple of years before your wife recovers. This very hard on your children. I feel for them. This is not coming at a good time in their lives.


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

STBX filed her response to the petition today. No point by point reply, but at least an acknowledgment that she has received the petition and intends to represent herself.


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## verpin zal (Feb 23, 2013)

Execute Order Sixty-Six.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

verpin zal said:


> Execute Order Sixty-Six.


Ha ha!


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

verpin zal said:


> Execute Order Sixty-Six.



Tempting, but not my style. I'll play nice and not destroy her. 

In other news, I went to a church social last night. Apparently our church doesn't have a very effective rumor mill. Was asked 3 or 4 times by different people where my "other half" was. Once was "better half". I just said it was a long story and left it at that.

The Better Half comment really pissed me off. Totally innocent on that persons part so I bit my tongue. But wow what a trigger. Better my a$$.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Her decision to represent herself is in line with her self image. She loved you, although she was putting out to other men. It was for the best because she had rich emotional needs. She never thought of herself as a lascivious flighty woman. And now she does not think of herself as greedy and money hungry. She is consistent.

However, instead of congratulating herself for her fine character, she ought to ask herself how you felt upon learning about her sneaking around to lift her skirts and pull down her underwear? She has not yet reached that stage.


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

Joint custody agreement is signed and will be submitted to the courts in week. Soon to be official that I'll have joint legal custody and be the residential parent. Every point the courts want to see covered is covered.

Next step, financial settlement. here we come.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Awesome! Just a few more turns to navigate and then home free.


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

She has had the marital seperation agreement now for a couple of weeks. It's based on everything we had negotiated back in June during our coffee shop conversation. She has read it, but is intimidated by some of the leaglesase, so she hasn't signed it yet.

She is going to have a lawyer review it on 9/15. She says she isn't going to ask for more money, so hopefully the lawyer advises her to sign it. If she asks for more, then we will duke it out in court.

Our status hearing is scheduled for 10/3, I was hopeful that it would be our one and only day in court together. That only works out if she signs it. If not, we both present our cases to the judge and he may decide on the spot, or more likely will ask us for more info, prehaps even order mediation. Either way, it's more money to the lawyers. Feeling quite a lot of anxiety over it.


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

I understand why you are felling anxious.

You have done everything you should've, could've & would've done.

Your wife has done practically nothing.

Hopefully her attorney will be smart and honest. Tell her to sign it.

Just the fact she wanted her own attorney should show you she has not completely lost her mind.

I hope you get completion to her drama soon.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

She'll probably offer you free tickets to the theater one of these days.


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

LongWalk said:


> She'll probably offer you free tickets to the theater one of these days.



Lol, probably. She is on stage for the upcoming production. It's her first time acting. Well, first time on stage.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Well, your kids will understand that fidelity is meaningful.


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## 2asdf2 (Jun 5, 2012)

Acoa said:


> Lol, probably. She is on stage for the upcoming production. It's her first time acting. *Well, first time on stage.*


:lol:


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

Ugh, 2 days before court and she drops the bomb. Point by point to my proposed separation agreement. Accepting each generous point and asking for more on everything else. Apparently she wants me to pay her to not work, take the house, half of everything else and give me all the debt. 

Uh, no. How does no sound. Okay, her funding is cut off and now going to my lawyer. See you in court dear.

What a selfish brat.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Can you retract your original offer and go for the minimum standard, according to state law?

Your kids are not going to like leaving the house but maybe she is going to force you to liquidate common property.

All you can do is fight her. Don't talk to her about anything but your children. Make it clear to her that you are not going to be friends. To do that shouldn't say anything, just go NC 100%.

Did she do this through a lawyer or in face to face discussion?


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

Yes, the offer is just that, an offer. Already retracted.

Now we go for something neither of us will like. 

It was made through her lawyer. She is too cowardly to tell me herself.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Suggest mediation. If she refuses, you've no alternative but to go to court.

She probably is no longer apologizing to your children for having cheated, but they will know that her brinksmanship is demanding additional sacrifice from everyone but her. She is damaging her relationship with them, so that she can cruise through life without working.

You'll recall that I mentioned a couple of times that getting a job was the most important thing she could do to express remorse. If she had been earning more money, she would had gotten more self respect. Without holding herself in regard, it's too easy to push you into the role of scapegoat. If the divorce settlement is a bitter legal fight, then of course everyone can understand that your marriage was impossible. Given your cruelty and greed, what choice did she have put to seek comfort from other men?

When do you feel you'll have to tell your children?

Do they know she is a serial cheater?

She will perhaps avoid running into you now.


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

I don't see mediation in our future. We worked out an agreement and at the 11th hour she changed it. 

What would make a mediated agreement any different? 

No, I plan to ask exactly for statutory asset separation, alimony and child support. It will take 6 years for her to break even with the deal I offered her. 

I'll bank on the fact she can't stay single that long.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Acoa said:


> I don't see mediation in our future. We worked out an agreement and at the 11th hour she changed it.
> 
> What would make a mediated agreement any different?
> 
> ...


Acoa... I feel your pain. My ex-husband would agree and then retract everything. Over and over.

Believe it or not, with the trial looming and him standing to lose MUCH more than the generous terms I agreed to -- for instance, I proposed only 5 years of spousal support rather than LIFETIME (which in my state, I was almost 100% guaranteed to get. At the very least I would have gotten 10 years support) -- we finally ended up in mediation. Got it all hammered out in one sitting. I think his lawyer advised him he better make a deal or he was going to get annihilated in court.

I hope your STBXW sees the light...


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

Had a face to face with her yesterday. She claimed that the lawyer didn't review what she sent with her before she sent it. That she doesn't want all those changes. Funny that she said that after I told her that the offer was off the table and I'd be going for the house and child support from her. But, whatever. She was open for a discussion.

I asked her what she wanted. She gave me 3 things, which we were able to come to agreement on after some back and forth. It may cost me 1 additional yr of alimony, but could be shorter depending on her job status. Overall, not a bad deal to get this done with.

I had the agreement revised and it's in her hands now. She emailed me and said she would sign it this afternoon. So, hopefully I can get home from work in time to sign it and drop it off at my Lawyers. Then we can finalize the divorce in court tomorrow. 

My fingers are crossed.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

She is a little intimidated by the idea of total war.


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

Done, done and done. 

She signed the revised agreement. Her lawyer decided not to represent her because of that (called her an hour before court and dropped her). 

She appeared "Pro Se" and followed my lead for our prove up. The judge accepted everything and granted the divorce.

Waited in court about 30m for our 5m of fame in front of the judge.

I'm officially single and the ambiguity over money is done.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

AWESOME!!!

How do you feel brother?


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Well done


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

Feels good to be free from the drama. 

One thing that is surprising. Having control of my financial choices is much more satisfying than I thought. 

Time to reconnect with myself and have some fun.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

*Re: Re: The time has come*



Acoa said:


> Feels good to be free from the drama.
> 
> One thing that is surprising. Having control of my financial choices is much more satisfying than I thought.
> 
> Time to reconnect with myself and have some fun.


It's hard to like this post more, brother.


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

*Re: Re: The time has come*



farsidejunky said:


> AWESOME!!!
> 
> How do you feel brother?


Curious about how she felt. Any tears?


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

bfree said:


> Curious about how she felt. Any tears?



A few as we walked out of the courthouse, but she choked em back pretty quickly.


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

*Re: Re: The time has come*



Acoa said:


> A few as we walked out of the courthouse, but she choked em back pretty quickly.


Proud to the end huh? I recall us talking about her resistance to reasonable suggestions when you thought you were trying to work it out. Pride and stubbornness was the theme then too. Yeah, there was no way you could have R even if you wanted to. At least you can move on now knowing you did everything you could and in the end you had no alternatives.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

pretty sure she did an about turn in front of a pissed of Acoa if the lawyer was pissed off and dropped her.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Great. 

Imagine if you had attempted R, you'd be constantly looking over your shoulder for OM sneaking out of closets. Now you can live again.

Glad you have the house, representing stability and loyalty.

It is too early to forgive your ex. Have you thought of writing some sort of note to create closure?

It would be nice to have some sort of message to steer her away from idleness and misbehavior, but that is no longer your responsibility. You'd feel more charitable towards her if she got a job and cut your burden, stuck to one boyfriend whom your kids can respect, but how likely is that?

Hope she doesn't take to drinking.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

Sorry you were hurt, but glad you came out okay.


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

LongWalk said:


> Great.
> 
> Imagine if you had attempted R, you'd be constantly looking over your shoulder for OM sneaking out of closets. Now you can live again.
> 
> ...



Funny you mention the drinking. I think its prescription drugs for now. But I wonder where that leads. She has been under psychiatric care for months and on various pharmaceuticals. With her personality and current social circle the risks are high. 

She may stay clean for our kids sake. But as they get older and that bond grows weaker, I wonder if that will be enough.

With everything final now, I don't have to worry about how that could impact me, but l'll always be connected with her through our kids. Hopefully she pulls her stuff together and keeps that relationship strong.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Although your children are not responsible for their mother, the eldest must be concerned. You might assure them that you wish their mother well and that you simply couldn't remain married. They know the reason, so you don't have to discuss it. But you can say that they should encourage her to keep up her role as mother. She may feel shame and not feel comfortable with them. Sad. Her fault, but you don't want to see her go down the tubes for your children's sake.

Children don't like the cheating that destroys their family. I have seen this. Two uncles. Two cheaters. Angry children (my cousins).


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## HobbesTheTiger (Apr 7, 2014)

I strongly recommend counselling for the kids. Google "Toxic parents PDF" by Susan Forward and take a look at the book - this will be your kids' future, and they need professional help as soon as possible to come out of all this as well as possible.

Best wishes!


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Yes, you should definitely get help for your children.

Since your now divorced you might even ask your kids to all sit down and discuss the situation.

Can you stand to sit and talk with your ex one on one?


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

The kids are doing fairly well. 

D16 has been in and out of counselling off and on as she wants over the past couple of years. When she seems bothered by something but unable or unwilling to talk about it, I ask her if she would rather to talk to Katie (her counselor). She normally does and we go for a few weeks then she lets me know when she wants to stop going. 

D20 and S18 two are a little less connected to the divorce process. They are 'emancipated' for the purposes of custody and free to engage their mother as often or as little as they choose. They tend to see her on the visitation schedule we have set for D16 unless they have work conflicts. 

Overall they seem to be doing well. Engaged at school and with friends, not skulking about or acting out. Well, not anymore than teens normally do. 

The younger 2 in particular are mad at mom. But getting past it.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Children hate to think of their parents as sexual beings. Bad enough that mom and dad have sex. OM is gross. Of course as they get older they can intellectually accept that their parents are fellow humans, but it takes maturity. Every individual copes to their own level.

I feel for your youngest. As long as she knows you're there for her, that's what matters.


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