# Help !!!



## CavScout7071 (4 mo ago)

A very complicated prostate removal with minimal nerve sparring has left me with ED. I've tried Viagra, Cialis, penis pump and penis injections. Nothing has worked. What turns me on and gives me more sexual joy than anything else is giving my wife oral. We have talked multiple times about my desires. My wife has such intense orgasms it literally drives her crazy and she doesn't like that. We can do all the foreplay things and I can bring her to orgasm with my fingers and she's completely satisfied. Any attempt by me to give her oral is turned down. I understand why but am I selfish in wanting some sexual joy myself ? I'm thinking about finding someone that enjoys receiving oral as much as I like giving it. I haven't acted on that yet and really don't even know how I would go about it.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

CavScout7071 said:


> A very complicated prostate removal with minimal nerve sparring has left me with ED. I've tried Viagra, Cialis, penis pump and penis injections. Nothing has worked. What turns me on and gives me more sexual joy than anything else is giving my wife oral. We have talked multiple times about my desires. My wife has such intense orgasms it literally drives her crazy and she doesn't like that. We can do all the foreplay things and I can bring her to orgasm with my fingers and she's completely satisfied. Any attempt by me to give her oral is turned down. I understand why but am I selfish in wanting some sexual joy myself ? I'm thinking about finding someone that enjoys receiving oral as much as I like giving it. I haven't acted on that yet and really don't even know how I would go about it.


Finding someone new who wants to be with a guy with erectile dysfunction is a pretty tall order.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

CavScout7071 said:


> I haven't acted on that yet and really don't even know how I would go about it.


Divorce would be a great start.

That said what makes you think, you're gonna find that without paying for, it when your penis don't work properly?


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Are you hoping that giving oral will magically make your penis work again? I am really sorry that you had prostate problems and now erectile dysfunction. But I think you're grasping at straws here. Unless you have some reason to think that the only way you can get excited even before you had erectile dysfunction was giving oral then there is no reason to think that that's going to be the miracle cure here now.


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

Well, this is a first. A married guy with ED trying to become a playa for the ladies.


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## Julie's Husband (Jan 3, 2022)

CavScout7071 said:


> A very complicated prostate removal with minimal nerve sparring has left me with ED. I've tried Viagra, Cialis, penis pump and penis injections. Nothing has worked. What turns me on and gives me more sexual joy than anything else is giving my wife oral. We have talked multiple times about my desires. My wife has such intense orgasms it literally drives her crazy and she doesn't like that. We can do all the foreplay things and I can bring her to orgasm with my fingers and she's completely satisfied. Any attempt by me to give her oral is turned down. I understand why but am I selfish in wanting some sexual joy myself ? I'm thinking about finding someone that enjoys receiving oral as much as I like giving it. I haven't acted on that yet and really don't even know how I would go about it.



Rough situation.

Apparently others here don't realize that most men with ED can still have orgasm and enjoy intimacy. Unless there is other serious damage from the prostatectomy.

I would hope you two could talk about what would and would not work for you in being intimate.

My wife and I had this discussion when I knew I was going to be castrate and have no libido as part of treatment for prostate cancer (radiation plus 6 months ADT) while at the same time she was recovering from a stroke and has physical issues that make intercourse impossible. I planned to have at least one good erection a day to stave of penile atrophy and we just went in being open to experimenting, learned a lot and became closer.


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## Northern.Guy (10 mo ago)

CavScout7071 said:


> I understand why but am I selfish in wanting some sexual joy myself ? I'm thinking about finding someone that enjoys receiving oral as much as I like giving it.


This reveals a lot and possibly explains why she refuses to receive oral from you. You aren’t all that connected to your wife emotionally. If you were, she would be the only woman in the world. When I get a no from my wife, it’s off the table, at least at that time unless she changes her mind. In a marriage there isn’t another woman alive as far as sexual intimacy goes. You have some work to do.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

CavScout7071 said:


> I understand why but am I selfish in wanting some sexual joy myself ? I'm thinking about finding someone that enjoys receiving oral as much as I like giving it.


Yes you are IMO being selfish. You have gone through major surgery and recovery with your wife sticking by you, and because she can't handle a specific act you seek, you are considering finding someone else. Do you think these times have been a picnic for her? She is at least as traumatized as you are.

Good luck with finding a woman interested in a guy with maybe permanent ED, just cuz he wants to eat the Y. Stop and think about that for a bit. A woman looking can easily find a man with all his equipment fully operational, his mouth included. And if you act on this, your wife will be easily able to find the same. You will be recovering by yourself, wondering what happened.

Your other previous thread sounded more like you were trying to provide satisfaction for your wife, evidently that wasn't the case.


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## 342693 (Mar 2, 2020)

Work on your ED and your marriage.


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