# Online flirting / relationships = emotional affair. When I'd enough enough?



## ScarlettAlexandra (Jun 4, 2015)

My husband has been flirting with a co-worker online and it makes me very uncomfortable. He has only known her for around a month but talks to her daily when he's at home and supposed to be with the kids and I. He claims that she initiates all the contacts and that they are just friends but he initiates the contact too only he deletes the message so I can't tell but reading the email trail it's obvious that there were other messages that would have started the conversation. 

I know he's not sleeping with her ..... Yet! but I really believe it's only a matter of time. I was honest with him and told him that I'm not comfortable but he just doesn't seem to care, instead he gives me a look of disappointment when I bring it up and makes he feel paranoid. He has always been a flirt and always has dozens of female friends and I have never stopped him. He has been out for meals and to the movies with these girls before but I am just not jealous by nature and this is kinda why we work.

But this girl is different. I see her as a real problem. They talk about sex (in general, not with each other - not sure if this makes it better though) and how he is her type of guy (she likes black guys) and about keeping their conversations a secret from people at work - so they don't get the 'wrong impression' apparently. 

He has had three online 'relationships' in the past six months where he definitely overstepped the mark and was receiving inappropriate pictures from a woman and they talked about sex a lot. 

I thought we'd gotten through that and maybe on some level its that that has made feel this way about his co-worker but I can't shake the feeling that something will happen unless I intervene. I have asked him not to talk to her at night while I am asleep (as he started to do this often especially after he would claim he was too tired to spend quality time with me), not to talk about anything inappropriate and not to delete messages from their online conversations as after I confronted him about her, he would still speak to her and then delete the messages. He promised he would do this but within two days he broke his promise - twice!

I would never ask him to stop speaking to her as that's just not me but I think it's only fair that whilst we are having these trust issues that he takes a break from her as we should be working on our marriage not speaking to co-workers every evening.

Am I asking too much?


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