# Scent drives mother's off?



## lostmyreligion (Oct 18, 2013)

My wife was lying in bed with me the other morning with her head on my shoulder. We were basking in the immediate afterglow, and her nose was pretty close to my armpit. She commented on how pungent I was, and told me how she found my scent, no matter how strong, to be an incredible turn on saying “you’re an addiction”. 

We’re both Darwinists and very interested in anthropology, so this has been the topic of more than a few conversations in the past. What made this one different is that she went on to mention that she found our oldest daughter’s (my SD) smell to be sharp and, if strong, downright unpleasant - but that the two younger, biologically mine children are, and always have, smelled like ambrosia to her.

She had mentioned in the past that her ex husband had never smelled “right” to her. I reminded her of this and she said “yeah, I’ve always thought I was just reacting to her genetic heritage”. 

(Note that this was just an observation she was making in the context of our conversation. My wife’s love for *all* of her children is equal in all respects and from the moment I first met her, my oldest (S)D was the reason I wanted more children.)

I remember reading (or hearing) somewhere that immediately after a sow grizzly mates (and conceives), whatever pheromones originally made the male smell like heaven, turned sour and made him smell like the enemy. So much so that the sow would drive the male off. The reason for this was very simple – male grizzlies are known to attack and kill the cubs. 

It made me wonder if maybe some of these women who stop having sex with their men after conception are being pushed away at least in part and subconsciously, by a similar lizard-brain chemical wedge. 

That maybe this new aversion to the husband’s scent could be the same reason they seem to so easily walk away from their own children, dependent to what degree the kids have inherited their husband’s spoor.

I don’t think for a moment that it’s an original thought, but I’m having a hard time finding what if anything’s out there on this.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

I haven't seen any research directly on this point. However, I have seen research indicating that women react positively to men who have a different major histocompatibility complex from them, so it's not too hard to believe this.


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## EnigmaGirl (Feb 7, 2015)

I remember reading an article about how important scent is to sexual attraction because people that smell good to you generally have complimentary immune systems.

In addition, women use scent to pick out genetic traits which will be useful to their offspring.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

I don't know. If I get in bed with a woman and she has a odor coming from her, someones getting a trip to the shower PDQ.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

EnigmaGirl said:


> In addition, women use scent to pick out genetic traits which will be useful to their offspring.


I was always perplexed but this seems explains it. Some of my clients back then had said they disliked the smell of their husbands. I had one that said she could no longer sleep in the same bed with him because of the way he smelled. Turns out he was gay. Luckily she never have kids with him and for both me and her, never got HIV.


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## lostmyreligion (Oct 18, 2013)

6301 said:


> I don't know. If I get in bed with a woman and she has a odor coming from her, someones getting a trip to the shower PDQ.


This time of year, when we're both working outside in 35 to 38 degree C and the kids are outta school, any opportunity for marital relations is jumped on quickly and often there's not enough time for a shower until after the fact.:grin2:


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## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

I can tell you my ExGF used to smell me a lot and used to comment on how much she loved my smell.. I started reading some stuff about it after my therapist mentioned some stuff behind smell between a man and a woman..


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Hardtohandle said:


> I can tell you my ExGF used to smell me a lot and used to comment on how much she loved my smell.. I started reading some stuff about it after my therapist mentioned some stuff behind smell between a man and a woman..



And???


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## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

SecondTime'Round said:


> And???


LOL.. 

Basically what was discussed and read that scent is big and very important in a relationship.. That it could make the difference in a long lasting relationship.. 

But in my case it wasn't.. hehe..


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

Something else. When a woman in their child bearing years are fertile, the ones who are not really attracted to their husbands have more "headaches", if you know what I mean, than those women who find their husbands attractive.
Moreover, the ones no longer attracted to their husbands tend to be drawn to men that they find attractive during this period of high fertility. Could explain the disappointing DNA results betrayed husbands sometimes get.


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## Cleigh (Dec 5, 2013)

I LOVE the smell of my man. He always wants to have a shower before sex but I try to stop him because I get so turned on by the smell of him. He could be working up a sweat at work and I just melt when I smell him. If I didn't like the smell of someone I couldn't be with them. It's a huge deal for me haha


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## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

Cleigh said:


> I LOVE the smell of my man. He always wants to have a shower before sex but I try to stop him because I get so turned on by the smell of him. He could be working up a sweat at work and I just melt when I smell him. If I didn't like the smell of someone I couldn't be with them. It's a huge deal for me haha


Wow, the ExGF used to say the same thing.. She didn't want me to shower before sex..


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## lostmyreligion (Oct 18, 2013)

I worked in an assay lab for a while when I was younger and managed to get more than the occasional nose full of acid vapor (usually nitric) over that period. Between that and a couple of decades of smoking I don't think my sense of smell's been the same since.

I've never been able to smell any of the kids other than that universal godawful stench that eventually saturates every teenager's room, boy or girl.

My wife, on the other hand, can smell a humming bird fart from a mile off.

I tend to take her word for it when the topic comes up, though I do remember a couple of past partners that didn't smell or taste right during intimacy.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

Ex wife was obsessed with scent. Even with her OMs.

Current gf is like a bloodhound. Constantly sniffs me.

Pretty certain it's some left over evolutional girl thing.


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

I got in line a while back to pay for some items at the store. The person ahead of me in line had a noticeable stench... I mean scent. It was so bad that I switched lines.

This isn't the same thing, but it does involve the power of smell.


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

Interesting...Explain why my wife likes the smell of me after a sweaty day. She typically wants sex -and/or the daily BJ -before I shower


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## NotEasy (Apr 19, 2015)

My W dislikes my sweaty smell, but thankfully loves my smell after a shower. I tend to be more 'eager' after exercise, but she always insists I shower first.

I like all her smells, especially sweaty. And sadly she normally insists on her own shower first.

Also there are very few perfumes that I think improve her smell. The only one I really liked I associate with first meeting her. I never understand why so much is spent on perfume.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Hardtohandle said:


> Wow, the ExGF used to say the same thing.. She didn't want me to shower before sex..


A friend of mine used to laugh about his girlfriend wanting to have sex after she showered. He would tell her to walk around the block first.

There is also a time factor in some cheating. Studies have shown there really is a seven year itch for women. The theory is that after a period of time, women are driven to conceive with a different mate to take advantage of genetic variety.

A British study showed that married women on girls nights out, displayed more skin and danced more provocatively than single women.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

I have read that men are programmed to distinguish between female scents throughout the cycle. For instance, they use smell to identify ovulation times.


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## lostmyreligion (Oct 18, 2013)

Chaparral said:


> A friend of mine used to laugh about his girlfriend wanting to have sex after she showered. He would tell her to walk around the block first.
> 
> *There is also a time factor in some cheating. Studies have shown there really is a seven year itch for women. The theory is that after a period of time, women are driven to conceive with a different mate to take advantage of genetic variety.*
> 
> A British study showed that married women on girls nights out, displayed more skin and danced more provocatively than single women.


Yeah, I've always thought that when you factor out the emotional-nightmare-that-is-infidelity, it makes sense from an evolutionary standpoint. I don't believe Darwin talked about emotion in "The Origin", though I've never attempted to slog my way through the work. Just the Reader's Digest version.

Maybe the question to ask first should be 'How many mothers with children by different fathers could differentiate between them by sense of smell alone?"

I know that my wife can't distinguish between the two younger kids but she says that they smell completely different from our oldest.


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