# OM babysitting my daughter - not happy!



## Indy Nial (Sep 26, 2010)

OK so my wife moved out mid Feb and I'm applying to finalise the divorce this week.

Lately I keep hearing from my 7yr old daughter how the OM has been around my wife's place. OM did this, OM did that, he even babysat her while my wife was out.

This really bothers me, in the past I've told her I don't want him around my daughter until the divorce is done and dusted. She has honoured this up to now. I have now told her to either tell our daughter that this is her BF or get him to stay away.

I'm now being told I'm controlling and she will tell our daughter when she wants to. I told her that if she didn't fess up then I would tell our daughter myself. Now I'm a bully apparently!

I don't want to do this but I also think its deceptive passing the OM off as just some friend. I don't plan on saying anything other than the OM=BF and that's why mummy and daddy are divorcing.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Indy Nial said:


> I don't want to do this but I also think its deceptive passing the OM off as just some friend. I don't plan on saying anything other than the OM=BF and that's why mummy and daddy are divorcing.


I don`t see a problem with that.

She obviously knows somethings up and that info might lessen her confusion.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Talk to you lawyer about a moral clause.

There may be some legal action you can take to prevent this from happening.
Here in the state it has been effective in keeping the OM away from stepping into your shoes.

Please spend some money and look up his criminal history. I would hate to see this POS hurt your kid. Go online, do some of your investigation but find out as much as you can about the OM. Your child is depending on you.

I don't know how old your daughter is but educate her on inapropreaite behavior from "strangers".


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## oceansaway (May 16, 2011)

I refused visits until I went to court over same issue. The judge was less than pleased with my ex! We ordered no contact with ow and our child! Courts are very firm on this issue. You need to protect your child and teach her morals that your ex does not have!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LostJB (Aug 3, 2011)

Is it really possible to take legal action to keep the OW/OM away from your kids? My STBXH already moved the OW into our marital home. My 3 yr old son has seen her everytime hes been at visitations. I've only talked about it with my counselor, who says that I can't control my STBXH actions, so I just need to make sure I communicate with my son about it when he questions it. 

We even went to the parenting (court ordered) class yesterday. They stress not to introduce kids to new significant others until at least the divorce is final, but didn't mention any legal actions. My STBXH really doesn't see how this is hurting his son.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Have you negotiated anything like "right of first refusal" with regards to childcare? It would mean that before she is allowed to leave your child unattended with a third party for an agreed upon length of time that you have the option to take your child first...


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## LonelyNLost (Dec 11, 2010)

I had my papers drawn up to specify who was allowed to be alone with the children. In addition to "right of first refusal" after 4 hours away from the parent whose timesharing it is, the children have to be offered to the other parent. I specified the caregivers other than him or I that could watch the kids while not in his presence for more than an hour and then I said that any other caregivers have to be agreed upon in writing. So, OW has watched my kids while STBX ran to the store, which I don't like at this point. But the kids seem to like her, and just because she's a filthy human being, it doesn't mean she's going to harm my children. I have to accept that eventually if their relationship works out, that could be their stepmother. And right now STBX and her live together, along with her 11 year old son. THe whole situation is F'd up, but it's out of my control.


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

LonelyNLost said:


> I had my papers drawn up to specify who was allowed to be alone with the children. In addition to "right of first refusal" after 4 hours away from the parent whose timesharing it is, the children have to be offered to the other parent. I specified the caregivers other than him or I that could watch the kids while not in his presence for more than an hour and then I said that any other caregivers have to be agreed upon in writing. So, OW has watched my kids while STBX ran to the store, which I don't like at this point. But the kids seem to like her, and just because she's a filthy human being, it doesn't mean she's going to harm my children. I have to accept that eventually if their relationship works out, that could be their stepmother. And right now STBX and her live together, along with her 11 year old son. THe whole situation is F'd up, but it's out of my control.


Not that it's the norm and not to freak you out but from first marriage my 12 year-old stepson attempted to molest my then 4 year old daughter. Educated your little girl.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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