# Do happy couples really respect each other?



## Muse (Aug 10, 2010)

So, here's the thing.....I am in a marriage where I have little to no respect for my husband. To be completely honest, he has never done anything that I admired him for. I realize that sounds so harsh and mean to say, but it's the truth. He's the most laid back and lazy man I know about everything in his life....from himself, his job.... all the way to me and the kids. 

I watch a lot of romantic movies and reality TV shows and I have noticed that when they portray a truely connected and happy couple, they seem to respect each other. They will often speak highly of their spouse, or brag about how good they are at something. They will say things like, "my wife is the best cook!" ...or.."My husband is my rock. When I need him , he's always there to lift me up and make me happy again." They really seem to admire one another. In a nutshell, they just seem to really respect their spouses. I realize it's just TV/Movies....I know it's not all real. But, I have seen this in some of my friends relationships as well so I know it exists in real life. 

Do happy couples really respect each other or is this a rare thing to find in a relationship??


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## Susan2010 (Apr 19, 2010)

"_Do happy couples really respect each other_"

Kind of redundant because a couple can't be happy if they don't respect each other. A flippant example of the oxymoron might be a person being disrespected is happy about it, which isn't likely and hopefully is not possible. The examples you gave were not instances of respect but more so of admiration. They find those things to admire in their partner. Because they are admirable qualities, a person feels inclined to brag to others or openly compliment their spouse about cooking abilities, reliability, etc. However, respect is personal and involves the feeling of respect toward the other person or treating them respectfully, rather than in disrespectful ways. An example of the difference between the two is a person might call their spouse names, yell at them, ignore/neglect them, embarrass them in front of other people, etc., which are all very disrespectful, but that doesn't mean they never compliment the cooking or compliment the housekeeping. I'm sure the spouse who gets yelled at, neglected, or embarrassed regularly is very unhappy but is a good cook nonetheless.


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## JustAnotherGuy1 (Sep 4, 2010)

Susan2010 said:


> "_Do happy couples really respect each other_"
> 
> Kind of redundant because a couple can't be happy if they don't respect each other. A flippant example of the oxymoron might be a person being disrespected is happy about it, which isn't likely and hopefully is not possible.


Oh, it's possible. Healthy, probably not, but there are some people are seem to really gain some kind of something from that sort of verbal and emotional mistreatment. Don't ask me to explain it, though, 'cause I can't.


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## 4sure (Aug 8, 2010)

I could not love a man I didn't respect. To me love/respect for a man kinda are the same. Maybe if you look at his good traits, and not so much on the bad you would feel different.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

Even when i really hated my H, i still respected him. outside of our relationship problems i admired his work ethic, his social status, and how well he got along with others. Ive always been proud of him and proud to be with him. I think if you dont respect your spouse as an individual outside of the relationship, then the minute you have trouble you will want to bolt.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I just don't think love can exist without respect.


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