# Heat of the moment



## Pomlover (May 15, 2013)

For those of u who already knew my story great, if not, I'm not re-posting bc H didn't want our story on this site.

I just have a general question...
If and when u run into ur BH post-A, is it wrong to engage in sexual acts? What if ur the offender and u know he is weak to u physically?

Again, just trying to do the RIGHT thing..


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

Pomlover said:


> For those of u who already knew my story great, if not, I'm not re-posting bc H didn't want our story on this site.
> 
> I just have a general question...
> If and when u run into ur ex post-A, is it wrong to engage in sexual acts? What if ur the offender and u know he is weak to u physically?
> ...


LOL 
you're a trip n' a half. 
Whatever works.


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## SoulStorm (Jul 17, 2012)

Pomlover said:


> For those of u who already knew my story great, if not, I'm not re-posting bc H didn't want our story on this site.
> 
> I just have a general question...
> If and when u run into ur ex post-A, is it wrong to engage in sexual acts? What if ur the offender and u know he is weak to u physically?
> ...


OK..you can't be serious. If you have to ask this question you are either just trying to get a reaction or you really need some serious help.


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## Pomlover (May 15, 2013)

What if I felt like I owed it to him? It wasn't in my favor BELIEVE me, straight servicing but I don't mind. JW if others have done this.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Pomlover said:


> For those of u who already knew my story great, if not, I'm not re-posting bc H didn't want our story on this site.
> 
> I just have a general question...
> If and when u run into ur ex post-A, is it wrong to engage in sexual acts? What if ur the offender and u know he is weak to u physically?
> ...


Not at all wrong! In fact helping your betrayed ex indulge with you in some of the most moving and exciting acts of carnal congress ever in the history of human sexuality may be just what the doctor ordered. But then again, I am no doctor. 

Always remember, safety first, though...


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## Mrs_Mathias (Nov 19, 2012)

Ex affair partner? Or ex-husband? Who are we talking about here? 
I'm assuming AP, because of the way this is worded, so...


If you ran into him and engaged in sexual acts, THE AFFAIR ISN'T OVER. Get a grip on yourself and be done already.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Pomlover (May 15, 2013)

Mrs_Mathias said:


> Ex affair partner? Or ex-husband? Who are we talking about here?
> I'm assuming AP, because of the way this is worded, so...
> 
> 
> ...


Sorry for not clarifying, I mean doing it with my HUSBAND


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Mrs_Mathias said:


> Ex affair partner? Or ex-husband? Who are we talking about here?
> I'm assuming AP, because of the way this is worded, so...
> 
> 
> ...


I was taking it as husband. Otherwise I may have to put my cross face on...


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## Pomlover (May 15, 2013)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Isn't it a little too dangerous to worry about sex right now considering a Mexican drug cartel is after the both of you or something?


Lol the cartel isn't after us! But we aren't sleeping in our home until Sunday as a precaution. Stopped by there today to get some mail and he was picking up clothes soooo...


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

My ex-wife who cheated on me used to do that on occasion. I obliged HER cuz...well, sometimes the need to get jiggy overcame me 

Just don't do it for ulterior motives like trying to win him back or take advantage of him like she did with me. He'll see right through that and resent you pretty badly. I don't look at those last bang sessions with fondness at this stage of my life.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Isn't it a little too dangerous to worry about sex right now considering a Mexican drug cartel is after the both of you or something?


Good Lord. I just missed a couple of days here!


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Acabado said:


> Good Lord. I just missed a couple of days here!


LMAO!!!! :rofl::rofl:


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## Pomlover (May 15, 2013)

SomedayDig said:


> My ex-wife who cheated on me used to do that on occasion. I obliged HER cuz...well, sometimes the need to get jiggy overcame me
> 
> Just don't do it for ulterior motives like trying to win him back or take advantage of him like she did with me. He'll see right through that and resent you pretty badly. I don't look at those last bang sessions with fondness at this stage of my life.


Thanks for the feedback. I know it's no strings attached


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Pomlover said:


> Thanks for the feedback. I know it's no strings attached


Then if it's truly consenting adults...no harm, no foul.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Isn't it a little too dangerous to worry about sex right now considering a Mexican drug cartel is after the both of you or something?



He probably isn't really anything to do with the drug cartel.

The nearest he got to illegal drugs was when he borrowed a pain killers from his grandmother.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Pomlover said:


> For those of u who already knew my story great, if not, I'm not re-posting bc H didn't want our story on this site.
> 
> I just have a general question...
> If and when u run into ur BH post-A, is it wrong to engage in sexual acts? What if ur the offender and u know he is weak to u physically?
> ...


From having read your original thread, this sounds like manipulation and taking advantage of him to me. You know his state of mind, he is broken from your betrayal, and I still think you dont even love him, you just dont want to lose.


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## Pomlover (May 15, 2013)

3Xnocharm said:


> From having read your original thread, this sounds like manipulation and taking advantage of him to me. You know his state of mind, he is broken from your betrayal, and I still think you dont even love him, you just dont want to lose.


I disagree, we parted ways this evening with him saying he'd like to file early next week and telling each other to have a good weekend. Soooo this is purely physical, after all we're still married right?


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## FourtyPlus (Dec 18, 2011)

Pomlover said:


> I disagree, we parted ways this evening with him saying he'd like to file early next week and telling each other to have a good weekend. Soooo this is purely physical, after all we're still married right?


From "love" to "just sex" in one week, WOW!


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## GROUNDPOUNDER (Mar 8, 2013)

Is this women for real?...


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Sweet mother of God!

Will you just leave this poor guy alone!


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

GROUNDPOUNDER said:


> Is this women for real?...


In all probability, yes.


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## GROUNDPOUNDER (Mar 8, 2013)

Pomlover said:


> For those of u who already knew my story great, if not, I'm not re-posting bc H didn't want our story on this site.
> 
> I just have a general question...
> If and when u run into ur BH post-A, is it wrong to engage in *sexual acts*? What if ur the offender and u know he is weak to u physically?
> ...


"sexual acts"...

This says it all. If you ever loved your stbxh(And I really have to wonder if you did), you should leave him alone after you're divorced - Or do you derive some kind of pleasure when ever you can cause him more pain?/...

"just trying to do the RIGHT thing"

The right thing would be to stay away from him, but why start now.

You need help.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Mrs_Mathias said:


> Ex affair partner? Or ex-husband? Who are we talking about here?
> I'm assuming AP, because of the way this is worded, so...
> 
> 
> If you ran into him and engaged in sexual acts, THE AFFAIR ISN'T OVER. Get a grip on yourself and be done already.


BH = betrayed husband

She's asking if it's ok to have sex with her husband who she betrayed. He's kicked her out of the house and says he's divorcing her. That's why she is asking. As apparently she felt sort of used by the sex she had with him.. that's what I'm getting anyway.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Well folks, I would think that her BS is a big boy and can decide when he wants to have sex and with whom. So why come out with she is using him?


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## LostViking (Mar 26, 2013)

What a joke.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Davelli0331 (Apr 29, 2011)

I'm only subscribing to this thread bc I want to know what twists and turns it's going to take next.

And Pom, I believe that you're for real. I've moved past the "troll" and into the "you can't make this sh!t up" territory.


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## FourtyPlus (Dec 18, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> Well folks, I would think that her BS is a big boy and can decide when he wants to have sex and with whom. So why come out with she is using him?


I think it might be because she had "mindless" sex with the OM while then longing for her husband etc. and now she wants mindless sex with her husband. That doesn't make sense to me.

There is either a motive other than her just looking for good time or she never loved her husband to begin with.

But you are right, he's obviously a big boy and can decide for himself.


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## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Well folks, I would think that her BS is a big boy and can decide when he wants to have sex and with whom. So why come out with she is using him?


She betrayed him. 

He is hurt. 

He still loves her (it takes a while to stop as we all know) 

Those who have affairs thrive on being 'wanted'.

She is having her 'needs' met because she still 'has' him! (Once he no longer wants her she will then feel hurt) 

Cheating women often do it purely to see if they still 'have it' and only for that. She is having sex with him only for that. 

He is hurt and betrayed, she is not. He loves her, she does not. 

Sure she is using him!


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## GROUNDPOUNDER (Mar 8, 2013)

She should just move on to the next guy. I would think it would be a bigger thrill for her if she was cheating on someone new vs. just having sex with the last guy you cheated on.


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## Pomlover (May 15, 2013)

Hadn't logged on in awhile but it looks like some think its ok some not. Since I first posted, we've had sex 5 times. It's some of the best since we met in college and its all now being initiated by H. Maybe we are using each other. Either way, it's not just physical at all for me, and I'm starting to get a false sense of hope and intimacy from this, however destructive it might be. 

I also don't want to reject him when he calls me over for sex as I feel I've hurt him enough. Do I just continue on with this until reality sinks in for him and he starts hating me?


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## Rags (Aug 2, 2010)

If you really love him (which, let's face it, from the evidence is seriously questionable) then you will do whatever he needs to help him heal and move on (in whatever direction he needs) without any attempt at manipulationor entrapment.

If he feels having sex with you will help, then there's nothing wrong with you being there for him - and even enjoying it - so long as you're not trying to use it to manipulate him.

It's also ok for you to have hope. But again, don't attempt to manipulate him because of that.

It's also ok for you to love him, and him to love you. And if he decides to try again with you, fine - so long as that's his decision.

Yes, having sex with you might affect his choices. But so long as you're not doing it for you, but for him, because it's what's best for him, and what he wants - then OK.

But you must be doing everying for him. He didn't deserve what you've done to him and whatever he needs, you shoud be providing. For him.

It just turns out that being selfless can also give you benefits - but you don't do it for that reason.


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## Nujabes (May 16, 2013)

Let this thread die... Please.... Just let it die.


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## FlyingThePhoenix (Apr 11, 2013)

Hi Pom,

Gald you came back...



Pomlover said:


> Hadn't logged on in awhile but it looks like some think its ok some not. Since I first posted, we've had sex 5 times. It's some of the best since we met in college and its all now being initiated by H. Maybe we are using each other. Either way, *it's not just physical at all for me*, and *I'm starting to get a false sense of hope and intimacy from this, however destructive it might be*.
> 
> I also don't want to reject him when he calls me over for sex as I feel I've hurt him enough. Do I just continue on with this *until reality sinks in for him *and he starts hating me?
> 
> *He will start to hate you once reality sinks in; question is when reality going to hit him, weeks, months, or years. To save him, let him go Pom!*


Remember the post I said your husband will see the images/movies in his head of you and your ex-boyfriend having sex together. Well now it’s your husband’s turn! It’s not intimacy for him; he’s not reconnecting with you at all. It’s pure sex for him, and he’s trying to show you that he still has that ability to match up to your ex-boyfriend in the bedroom department.

He’s going to continue this until he has satisfied himself or starts hating you, whichever way, you are heading a brick wall and you know it. Your feelings for him maybe genuine, but he’s not returning them, is he?

Regards, FTP  


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

Hey nujubes-----grow up---pomlover came here for advice---she is entitled to advice from those who wanna give it to her, FOR AS LONG AS THEY WANNA GIVE IT TO HER

If you don't like the thread---THEN IGNORE IT----but stop with your snotty comments


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

jnj express said:


> Hey nujubes-----grow up---pomlover came here for advice---she is entitled to advice from those who wanna give it to her, FOR AS LONG AS THEY WANNA GIVE IT TO HER
> 
> If you don't like the thread---THEN IGNORE IT----but stop with your snotty comments


Oops. I thought it was funny.


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## FlyingThePhoenix (Apr 11, 2013)

Nujabes said:


> Let this thread die... Please.... Just let it die.


Pom came here for help, advice, guidance etc. and if you cannot provide any of these and more, do not respond to her thread or posts. Pom's story is *VERY CLOSE TO MINE!* So *LEAVE HER ALONE*!

FTP!!!!!!!


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

I thought it was funny. 

But aside from that, sounds like Pom and her BS are engaging in the long, slow goodbye. A little hot sex to smooth out the speedbumps along the way can't hurt.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Davelli0331 said:


> I'm only subscribing to this thread bc I want to know what twists and turns it's going to take next.
> 
> And Pom, I believe that you're for real. I've moved past the "troll" and into the "you can't make this sh!t up" territory.


She is so disconnected from her emotions that it is unreal


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Pomlover said:


> Hadn't logged on in awhile but it looks like some think its ok some not. Since I first posted, we've had sex 5 times. It's some of the best since we met in college and its all now being initiated by H. Maybe we are using each other. Either way, it's not just physical at all for me, and I'm starting to get a false sense of hope and intimacy from this, however destructive it might be.
> 
> I also don't want to reject him when he calls me over for sex as I feel I've hurt him enough. Do I just continue on with this until reality sinks in for him and he starts hating me?


When your thread disappeared I thought you must have a troll who was shut down. Forgive me for thinking that. The reason that I did was because you responded to nearly every post and understood the poster's position, without displaying much ego defense.

You don't seem to feel emotional pain the same as most people. You don't mind having sex with your H if he wants to. You are enjoying it, although it seems to promise future distress.

I have buddy who I think has Aspberger's or something because he cannot think normally when it comes to relationships with women. He reads self help books and follows them like an instruction manual. He is low level manager in a big multinational IT operation. They make all sorts of rules and he is doing ok at work, probably because he follows the rules in dealing with people.
Everything is measured. There is feedback.

You seem a bit like this, too. You are trying to get some conceptual grasp of emotional life.

Your old thread was something about losing the "best husband", but I don't think you are the sort of person who believes there is a best husband. There are billions of husbands on the planet. Why should one be the best.

Since you are having sex, why don't you get pregnant? Would that make you feel more in touch with your emotions?

Also, what does pomlover mean? Are you an anglophile? Why are you sleeping with Latin men?


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