# Was the EA a PA?



## highandlow (Apr 13, 2013)

About 10 months ago my wife had an EA with her boss. They would talk in the office alone from time to time about his issues at home..which led to her talking about her issues at home as well. Soon they where texting and calling back and forth outside of business hours. This all started when my wife hugged him after a meeting one night, he hugged her back and she told him "she liked his hug more than she expected" That's when it started - along with the texting and conversations she told me they hugged from time to time and that she kissed him on the cheek. She told him she loved him. She told me the kisses on the cheek and the "I love you's" where not reciprocated by him. I saw a text where she told him about the new lace panties she bought. He told her that he pictured her spread on his chair at his house. She admitted to me that there where sexual innuendos at times but most of the conversations where about each others "troubled" home life....mostly his. This apparently went on for a month until I caught her whilst on the phone with him. Since then things have been fairly good between us...Whats the chance that this EA was a PA beyond the hugs and her kisses on the cheek?


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## brokenhearted118 (Jan 31, 2013)

BIG! Have you asked yourself why she would she share that she bought new lace panties. Unless he has seen the goods already, why would he care what kind of new lace panties she bought? She has already done the deed. Sorry!


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## highandlow (Apr 13, 2013)

More Info : She quit the job after I demanded she do so.


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## highandlow (Apr 13, 2013)

brokenhearted118 said:


> BIG! Have you asked yourself why she would she share that she bought new lace panties. Unless he has seen the goods already, why would he care what kind of new lace panties she bought? She has already done the deed. Sorry!


She did admit to innuendos during their conversations. She told me they talked about it - but would never happen cause they could never hurt their spouses like that. "but no harm in talking."


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

Still, the chances are very high. Read threads here. You'll note the statistical probability, esp. with the sexual nature of some of the conversation.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

You also have to remember the probability that a cheater is lying: 100%.

Saying that they talked about sex but pulled back because of concern for the spouses is classic. Sad but true.


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## PastOM (Apr 12, 2013)

H&L: Sorry that you are here.

IMHO - *100% They have had sex already*, probably at his office, if not at his home.

Sorry - gut wrenching I know.

I would look for advice on how to deal with this as a full on PA right now. There will be some fantastic advice coming your way here. Listen to what they say. Really listen and act on it. If you don't, you will get messed up.

Best of luck to you. Again, hate that you are in this.


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## highandlow (Apr 13, 2013)

I have asked her a few times if anything else happened. It was trickle truth at first as she lied about the whole thing..finally after about a week I got out of her what I posted here. ...she has not budged any further since. If they did more, why would she not admit to the OM reciprocating at least a kiss on the cheek?


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## PastOM (Apr 12, 2013)

highandlow said:


> I have asked her a few times if anything else happened. It was trickle truth at first as she lied about the whole thing..finally after about a week I got out of her what I posted here. ...she has not budged any further since. If they did more, why would she not admit to the OM reciprocating at least a kiss on the cheek?


Either gaslighting, or plausible deniability. She had to tell you something, so she told you as much as would make sense. Not even close to the truth though!!!

You will need to investigate yourself, gather evidence. Others will tell you about VARs (Voice Activated Recorders) that you can use to record conversations in her car.

Wait for the more experienced posters to guide you - these guys and gals are ninjas of the extramarital world. There is a script that you will follow, and ultimately, sadly that she will follow too.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

highandlow said:


> I have asked her a few times if anything else happened. It was trickle truth at first as she lied about the whole thing..finally after about a week I got out of her what I posted here. ...she has not budged any further since. If they did more, why would she not admit to the OM reciprocating at least a kiss on the cheek?


Gees, what are we still in high school here? These two adults are not a bunch inexperienced kid. Sex is sex, and doing it in the office is a fetish (office sex) and there is a good chance that it went down that road.

Tell your old lady that you can't move on and need a polygraph test to help you heal. There few hundred buck and you will make an appointment and let her know when. 

She will be pissed but this is not about her ...its about you healing from her deciet... tell her "so sorry about not trusting you but cheater lie" !!!

The lie detector test is just another tool in dealing with this crap.......it will be interesting to see how she reacts to the initial request?

I hope for your sake she excepts this consequence with open arms.

In some cases I have heard were a betrayed husband had his wife do a DNA test on the kids........again just another consequences!


With out consequences' bad behavior continues so I congratulate her for excepting the consequences in quiting her job. That my frien is a big time show of remorse...which is a good thing.


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## whatslovegottodowithit? (Jan 6, 2013)

STD test for yourself. STD test for her and she shares the results with you.


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## highandlow (Apr 13, 2013)

She was really good at deleting her texts back then. The only evidence I have from back then was a SIM card from the phone she was using. Would I be able to retrieve deleted texts messages from the SIM card? I heard you could by a SIM card reader from EBAY - anyone had any experience with how effective this might be? She stopped using that particular phone soon after I confronted her.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

highandlow said:


> She was really good at deleting her texts back then. The only evidence I have from back then was a SIM card from the phone she was using. Would I be able to retrieve deleted texts messages from the SIM card? I heard you could by a SIM card reader from EBAY - anyone had any experience with how effective this might be? She stopped using that particular phone soon after I confronted her.


Read this thread and post your question and any other similar questions you have:

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping...one-interested-evidence-gathering-thread.html

Always remember that whatever you think you know about your W's honesty is now wrong. The one constant in all of these experiences is that the cheaters lie. Always. Try to wrap your mind around that & get to work to uncover the truth.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

You might have got lucky and stopped it before it went to a PA.


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## highandlow (Apr 13, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> You might have got lucky and stopped it before it went to a PA.


That is what I was thinking. I know for sure it would have gone to a PA if I did not catch it when I did. The question remains...was I too late? Part of me says I caught it in time, but another says maybe something more happened. 

More info: He tried to reach her for "business reasons" about 4 or 5 times within a week after it ended even tho she sent him an email that she quit her job and not to contact her again. I got on the phone and told him not to contact her again. I put a VAR in her car and caught her calling him 2 weeks later. I confronted her and she lied at first then admitted. I did pick up a little bit of the conversation with the VAR - just that she missed him, wanted to make him a strawberry shortcake for his B-day etc and she denied writing the NC email previous to ...that she was put up to writing it and not her words etc.
Eventually the call was ended with her telling him to take his wife out for dinner...wtf? :scratchhead:
Anyhow she sent another NC letter and I am positive their has been NC since as I have been monitoring everything.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

highandlow said:


> She was really good at deleting her texts back then. The only evidence I have from back then was a SIM card from the phone she was using. Would I be able to retrieve deleted texts messages from the SIM card? I heard you could by a SIM card reader from EBAY - anyone had any experience with how effective this might be? She stopped using that particular phone soon after I confronted her.


Yes you can recover everything back, Walmart or bestbuy should have the readers they are not expensive. Then go online they have lots of free downloads you can use. Depending in how much informatin is in there it might take hours. Then you can view everything it's by folders. Make sure you have time. I have done this in a phone because some pictures were deleted and the person wanted them back. It took about 14 hours not sure of the computer was slow or if it takes that long. 

Good luck.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Also, I'm sorry but if she contacted him and said the NC letter was forced she is either seeing him again or trying. You need to put your foot down, she broke the nc. Make sure thier are no new email accounts, Facebook, look at any new software such as messengers or new text applications. Cheaters lie and are very sneeky.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

highandlow said:


> She did admit to innuendos during their conversations. She told me they talked about it - but would never happen cause they could never hurt their spouses like that. "but no harm in talking."


If there was no harm in talking, then why did she delete all her texts? Of course there was harm in talking (the way they talked), and their talking alone would hurt their spouses - so the line about not being physical "cause they could never hurt their spouses like that" is just untrue. She wasn't thinking about you at all.

When she called him two weeks later and you picked it up on the VAR, did she mention you at all (except to say that you MADE her write the no contact letter)? Did she say how concerned she was about hurting you, or was she just worried about the other man?

Let's get real here - there is a good chance they had sex. You have no proof they didn't other than her word - she deleted any text that might prove otherwise, so draw your own conclusions about that. She lied about everything else. Why wouldn't she lie about this, too (until you show her some type of evidence)? 

That's the problem here, isn't it - she has cheated on you, which is the ultimate form of deceit, and then she lied to you every step of you finding out about the affair, and now she says she is finally telling the truth. Well, she has said she was telling the truth before, and it turned out to be lies. Odds are, sooner or later, she has to tell the truth. But unless you have verifiable proof, how will you ever know?

You can try a polygraph, people will argue about their accuracy, but some have said they got a confession from the cheater right before the polygraph was about to take place.


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## TBT (Dec 20, 2011)

highandlow said:


> I have been monitoring everything.


Sorry that you find yourself in such a bad place.If she knows about the VAR and you monitoring her,she may have a burner phone.Her actions after the first NC sent implies she has no problem taking it further underground.


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## highandlow (Apr 13, 2013)

Will_Kane said:


> If there was no harm in talking, then why did she delete all her texts? Of course there was harm in talking (the way they talked), and their talking alone would hurt their spouses - so the line about not being physical "cause they could never hurt their spouses like that" is just untrue. She wasn't thinking about you at all.
> 
> When she called him two weeks later and you picked it up on the VAR, did she mention you at all (except to say that you MADE her write the no contact letter)? Did she say how concerned she was about hurting you, or was she just worried about the other man?
> 
> ...


Good point: Nope - she never mentioned how much she was hurting me in the call.


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## highandlow (Apr 13, 2013)

TBT said:


> Sorry that you find yourself in such a bad place.If she knows about the VAR and you monitoring her,she may have a burner phone.Her actions after the first NC sent implies she has no problem taking it further underground.


I am positive she is not seeing or talking with him now....My concern is learning the truth of back then so that I know where I am at. Looks like my only 2 chances of this are a polygraph or perhaps gathering info from the SIM card of the phone she was using back then.


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## highandlow (Apr 13, 2013)

Does it make sense to ask her again point blank after all this time?


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

Given the lying that goes on, there really is no point. Do some more digging yourself to try to get the truth and/or demand a polygraph.


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

So far all you seem to have done, is allegedly forced her to cutoff contact, and you had a fight on your hands in re:that---and she quit her job

What other accountability has there been, what boundaries have been placed on her, what consequences have you stated will happen---by consequences---I mean ACTIONS, and not words

You need to call your local police station---ask them for a list of good poly operators in your area, and set up an appt---then tell your wife an appt has been set up---and SHE WILL BE AT THAT APPT------do this face to face, and with ICY CALM, and watch her reactions very closely----also make sure she understands you are to the point where she takes the poly---or D. goes on the table IMMEDIATELY

Your wife has been screwing around, and she continues to lie, and try to protect her A----enuff is enuff---her BS, needs to stop as of now.

If you have to be hard about this---then so be it---you are fighting for your mge, and family---but you can only fight so much----what really MUST happen, is she needs to put in ALL the HEAVY LIFTING from now on---and as of right now---SHE HAS PUT IN NO HEAVY LIFTING!!!!!!!


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Have you not talked to the other mans wife?


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## PastOM (Apr 12, 2013)

highandlow said:


> I am positive she is not seeing or talking with him now....My concern is learning the truth of back then so that I know where I am at. Looks like my only 2 chances of this are a polygraph or perhaps gathering info from the SIM card of the phone she was using back then.


H&L:

My guess is that this is much deeper than you thought. In your original post you point to an EA and some concerns. You follow through with a VAR (well done) and find that she is lying to you. After that confrontation, you are now sure. It does not add up!

To me, it sounds like she is learning quickly how to push this more underground, and because of your, seemingly, accepting nature, she knows that she can get away with it.

This should not be cat and mouse. You should turn the tables and control the situation. File for divorce. Adopt the 180 rules. Make it very clear that you are done. Remember, the affair fog is ruling her world. My feeling is that this was a sworded PA in the office. Very sexually charged, having the effect of cementing these fog behaviors. Your only chance is to snap her from that with a reality check.

Seriously, listen to the wisdom on this site and take some time to read as many stories as you can stomach. You will discover, as I did, that your unique circumstances, special situation is actually EXACTLY the same as every other poor guy here. There is a well worn script to all of this nonsense. Learn it and equip yourself with the tools that will help you recover yourself, not her - but you.

Good Luck!


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

What kind of phone was it ? What kind of does she have now? Have you put a gps on her car?


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

Based on what you say, the chances are slim that it was not a sexual affiar. It was already a PA in that there was hugging and kissing involved. Women don't talk about their panties to men they don't want to have sex with. A man alone with a woman who wants to have sex with him will have sex with her. 

You are right to have a lie decector test. This will give you the information you will need to move on with your life and marriage. 

Did you expose to the other man's wife?

When your wife broke NC and told him she missed him and was forced to write the NC letter... What was the consequence? It's very hard to be successful if you didn't file right then.. beucase the consequence of "write another letter" just means she knows she can contact him whenver she wants and all she'll have to do is "write another letter".


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## highandlow (Apr 13, 2013)

Hicks said:


> Based on what you say, the chances are slim that it was not a sexual affiar. It was already a PA in that there was hugging and kissing involved. Women don't talk about their panties to men they don't want to have sex with. A man alone with a woman who wants to have sex with him will have sex with her.
> 
> You are right to have a lie decector test. This will give you the information you will need to move on with your life and marriage.
> 
> ...



I told her after the 2nd call if she contacted him again i would file.

Did not expose to the other mans wife. I actually asked my wife to do that and she did not get around to it back then. I know who she is and can contact her through LinkedIn. Would it make sense to do that 10 months later when I don't know if this was actually a PA or not?


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

highandlow said:


> I told her after the 2nd call if she contacted him again i would file.
> 
> Did not expose to the other mans wife. I actually asked my wife to do that and she did not get around to it back then. I know who she is and can contact her through LinkedIn. Would it make sense to do that 10 months later when I don't know if this was actually a PA or not?


I think the ow has a right to know and it's another set of eyes on the both of them.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

This was a PA. The lace panties, and his response confirm it. 

She bought them because she knew he would be seeing them. His response wasn't innuendo, or that of someone flirting. It was him directly informing her of his very real plan for her.

If it was just flirting, he would have been far far less direct about his plan, and far less focused on taking her in them. Instead he would have cautiously danced around the subject, worried about where the line between flirting and to sexual was.

He didn't dance, he went directly to the having her. That's what you do when the sex boundary has been breached.

Simply, they have had sex, a more than once since she was having to introduce sexy underwear to work him up and attract him. First time sex doesn't have props like that. Sorry, it just doesn't, what she did was bring sexy panties in to spice up an existing relationship.

Sorry, but they've had sex.

You need to have her take a polygraph to "prove" they didn't have sex.

You also need to expose to the OMW. She has a moral right to know.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

highandlow said:


> I told her after the 2nd call if she contacted him again i would file.


And what she heard was that she needed to find a better , more secret way to maintain contact.

What proof do you have that it really is over?


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## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

highandlow said:


> She was really good at deleting her texts back then. The only evidence I have from back then was a SIM card from the phone she was using. Would I be able to retrieve deleted texts messages from the SIM card? I heard you could by a SIM card reader from EBAY - anyone had any experience with how effective this might be? She stopped using that particular phone soon after I confronted her.


You won't find much on a sim card. They are nothing more that the access information that your carrier needs to sync you phone to your service plan also they only have tiny memory so you can only fit about a hundred contacts on one. There was an android phone that let me put texts into the sim but it was one at a time and who is gonna go through all of that?


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## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

highandlow said:


> I told her after the 2nd call if she contacted him again i would file.
> 
> Did not expose to the other mans wife. *I actually asked my wife to do that and she did not get around to it back then*. I know who she is and can contact her through LinkedIn. Would it make sense to do that 10 months later when I don't know if this was actually a PA or not?


:scratchhead: eh?

Why would you ask her to do that? You're joking right?


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## Chris989 (Jul 3, 2012)

Hi,

I am truly sorry you are here.

Read my story - link below - my ex wife denied on everything that was holy including the children's lives for 2 months that nothing physical had happened after she admitted to an EA. Whilst she was swearing on the kid's lives she was still having regular sex with him - although had promised they no longer talked. I wouldn't ever have thought my wife would do any of the things she did - but no one ever does do they?

There are some major red flags here and I simply cannot believe they haven't had (or maybe are still having) a PA.

Tell the OM's wife. Expect everyone to deny but it might raise your chances of stopping the PA that has almost certainly happened.


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## Cubby (Mar 28, 2012)

To go from talking and texting a lot to hugging and kissing is a big barrier to break through. When I think of women I interact with in my personal life and what it would take to get to be in a situation where we're hugging and kissing and she's telling me about her sexy panties, well, that's one huge, gigantic step to take.

Now once your wife hug and kiss, then going to that next level, full blown sex, isn't such a big barrier to cross. It's really very easy to take that next step. And it's very likely they did.


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## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> This was a PA. The lace panties, and his response confirm it.
> 
> She bought them because she knew he would be seeing them. His response wasn't innuendo, or that of someone flirting. It was him directly informing her of his very real plan for her.
> 
> ...


I don't like polygraphs as they are easily skewed and it depends on the interviewer. But the threat of an lie detector can be as effective as the test itself.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

highandlow said:


> That is what I was thinking. I know for sure it would have gone to a PA if I did not catch it when I did. The question remains...was I too late? Part of me says I caught it in time, but another says maybe something more happened.
> 
> More info: He tried to reach her for "business reasons" about 4 or 5 times within a week after it ended even tho she sent him an email that she quit her job and not to contact her again. I got on the phone and told him not to contact her again. I put a VAR in her car and caught her calling him 2 weeks later. I confronted her and she lied at first then admitted. I did pick up a little bit of the conversation with the VAR - just that she missed him, wanted to make him a strawberry shortcake for his B-day etc and she denied writing the NC email previous to ...that she was put up to writing it and not her words etc.
> Eventually the call was ended with her telling him to take his wife out for dinner...wtf? :scratchhead:
> Anyhow she sent another NC letter and I am positive their has been NC since as I have been monitoring everything.


OMG. This is not good!

She will attempt to re-establish the affair and take it to PA level.

I am so sorry. You need to out her to everyone, including his wife.


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## youkiddingme (Jul 30, 2012)

She is lying. Women do not tell their good friends about their new lace panties and male friends do not talk about seeing them in a chair at their house. Dude....it's a physical affair. line up a polygraph. Just doing it may lead her to come clean. But she is lying. And SHARE EVERYTHING YOU KNOW WITH THE BOSSES WIFE. Come on, she deserves to know what her husband is up to.


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## CleanJerkSnatch (Jul 18, 2012)

highandlow said:


> That is what I was thinking. I know for sure it would have gone to a PA if I did not catch it when I did. The question remains...was I too late? Part of me says I caught it in time, but another says maybe something more happened.
> 
> More info: He tried to reach her for "business reasons" about 4 or 5 times within a week after it ended even tho she sent him an email that she quit her job and not to contact her again. I got on the phone and told him not to contact her again. I put a VAR in her car and caught her calling him 2 weeks later. I confronted her and she lied at first then admitted. I did pick up a little bit of the conversation with the VAR - just that she missed him, wanted to make him a strawberry shortcake for his B-day etc and she denied writing the NC email previous to ...that she was put up to writing it and not her words etc.
> Eventually the call was ended with her telling him to take his wife out for dinner...wtf? :scratchhead:
> Anyhow she sent another NC letter and I am positive their has been NC since as I have been monitoring everything.


Those aren't actions of a remorseful WS.

Lots of blame shifting and trying to save her possible "lover" from having his feelings hurt. What were your consequences of her breaking NC? Did you set any?


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## highandlow (Apr 13, 2013)

CleanJerkSnatch said:


> Those aren't actions of a remorseful WS.
> 
> Lots of blame shifting and trying to save her possible "lover" from having his feelings hurt. What were your consequences of her breaking NC? Did you set any?


Nothing set initially - I did not expect her to contact him again. Everything happened so fast from the time she was caught, telling me he was just a friend, a week later she trickling info to me into what I know now - To a week after that of her calling him again. I have laid out consequences since and told her we are done if she contacts him again. I don't think she has. I wanna know if she banged him or not back then...keeps eating at me.


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## PastOM (Apr 12, 2013)

You must set boundaries, that if crossed have HUGE consequences. Believe me, she (WS) thinks she's in love, he (OM) thinks he's in love. You my friend are the nuisance in the way.

This is classic affair fog.

As I stated before, I am 100% that this has already been a EA + PA. You must follow the 180, gather evidence and out her. Set boundaries, or else this is going underground fast.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Its already went under ground....the last time she contacted OM she already knew the risk but had to take it to set up another way to stay incontact.

Or she had to say good by...either way my point is the force is strong here and her addiction will bring withdrawls.


So when you guys sent the NC letter you assumed it was al over..............YOU DID SEND A NC LETTER???????

You know, the one she writes up and you review and send it together...the letter that denouces the OM and how wrong the affair was....the NC letter that explain to the OM why her husband is way better then OM in every way (with details)....you know that NC letter?????


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

I am sorry but I think you are in denial. What she said to him in the second call shows that it went underground. Please pay the $500 and get a polygraph. If you really believe that all there was is the hugs and kisses on the cheek then I have a bridge to sell you.

If the roles were reversed your wife would not believe such a ridiculous story from you so why do you believe her? She has constantly lied and betrayed you to your face. She knows you will divorce her if she admitted the truth so why would you think she would admit to having sex with him? Get a polygraph and I am willing to bet that she will probably confess before you do it and simply refuse to have it done. If her response to asking her to do a polygraph is positive then my guess is that she told you the truth. My guess her response to your request will not be positive which will tell you a great deal. Good luck.

P.S. Absolutely expose this to the OM's wife. How could you have not already done this? Tell the OW's wife that it would be a good idea for her to polygraph her husband as well.


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

OP, based on the information you provided, I have an exceptionally difficult time believing there was no sex between the two of them. I concur with the polygraph suggestion, you may be stunned at what you are told in the parking lot. 

Your wife has lied to you more than once, you now think he'll be honest... because why?


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Of course, she's playing you for a fool! This has PA written all over it! And what the big difference between an EA and a PA other than the OM has messed around with your wife all with her blessings!

She's trickle-truthing you telling you that it ain't all that bad. If she says it was a touch or a kiss, trust me, it was one of those "mid-section pelvic kisses!" 

And even if she didn't let him pull those nice panties of hers down, she violated the basic tenant of any good marriage and that is sharing things about your private lives that only the two marriage partners should be sharing with each other. 

Advice: Do "the 180" on her, get with an attorney to protect your property and your rights, and get to your MD to get a thorough checkup for STD's.

Then as an addend, notify the scumbags wife, and possibly the HR Dept. at their company. Most companies don't condone even the slightest bit of activity such as this within its midst. It's simply bad PR for them!

And let their company foot the bill for any lie detector test. Companies usually do things like that in the rare event of a theft or of some scurilous activity on the part of its employees, more often than not, in just trying to keep their own jobs!

The question is not so much "if a PA has taken place with her" ~ the question here is greatly "when that PA first took place."

Focus your energy there!


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

Any update H&L?


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## Chris989 (Jul 3, 2012)

*Re: Re: Was the EA a PA?*



highandlow said:


> Nothing set initially - I did not expect her to contact him again. Everything happened so fast from the time she was caught, telling me he was just a friend, a week later she trickling info to me into what I know now - To a week after that of her calling him again. I have laid out consequences since and told her we are done if she contacts him again. I don't think she has. I wanna know if she banged him or not back then...keeps eating at me.


She did.

What now?


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## ironman (Feb 6, 2013)

highandlow said:


> I wanna know if she banged him or not back then...keeps eating at me.


Agree with the consensus ... there is a super high probability that this was a full-blown sexual affair. The fact that she seems unwilling to let him go and is defying you at every turn suggests a very strong bond between them ... and that usually comes with sex.

Although polygraphs provide sketchy results, do your best to not let on to this little factoid. In fact, when you demand one, make it seem like there's no way she'll be able to hide the truth ... it's your best shot at getting a full confession.


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## lewmin (Nov 5, 2012)

I read where you asked your wife to expose to the OW and she never got around to it. Why would she? Even if she told you she did, she did not! It's all about protective their turf and keeping the affair going.

I've been there. So, now please contact and show the PROOF to the OW. The OM, will likely beg and cry to save his own marriage and will throw your wife immediately under a bus, and then real NC will happen. Then your wife will hate this guy even more being for being tossed in the trash. This guy, along with your wife, ruined your marriage. Don't be so nice. More importantly, the OM's wife's antannae will be up, and she will be watching every little step the OM does...so you now have a built-in watchdog!

Good luck to you!!!


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