# Just began month 3 of Separation



## StandbyMe (Aug 5, 2011)

I hope each of you are dealing with separation a little better these days as I have been through what most of you have gone through. The first month was almost deadly for me. The second month I expressed to my wife all of the things she meant to me and and my mistakes of which I have corrected. Also in month two I asked her "Can we sit down and talk about our marriage" Her reply was "I don't want to see you or be around you" So I have not asked the question again since. In month three I asked my wife "Do you want to end the marraige?" "What would you like for me to do move on?" She does not want to talk about it. She tells me "I can't answer your questions" Over and Over again she tells me "I can't answer your question's. She tells me I don't know if I will feel this way 3 weeks or 3 months from now but I can't answer you question's. 

Over the past 3 months I have sent her many many e-mails expressing my love with no response. As of last week I have decided to end all e-mails to give her time to decide what path she wants to take. I don't know what else to do at this point. I am seeing a Marriage Counselor to help me deal with all of this. To improve myself in case she does not come back to me. You can see my earlier threads on why she left me. I was selfish, jealous and had verbal anger when drinking. I quit drinking 3 months ago when she walked out me. I have reached a point where I can't interfere with endless e-mails or voice mails as it is not working. Will the silent mode work? What else can I do ?


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

StandbyMe said:


> I hope each of you are dealing with separation a little better these days as I have been through what most of you have gone through. The first month was almost deadly for me. The second month I expressed to my wife all of the things she meant to me and and my mistakes of which I have corrected. Also in month two I asked her "Can we sit down and talk about our marriage" Her reply was "I don't want to see you or be around you" So I have not asked the question again since. In month three I asked my wife "Do you want to end the marraige?" "What would you like for me to do move on?" She does not want to talk about it. She tells me "I can't answer your questions" Over and Over again she tells me "I can't answer your question's. She tells me I don't know if I will feel this way 3 weeks or 3 months from now but I can't answer you question's.
> 
> Over the past 3 months I have sent her many many e-mails expressing my love with no response. As of last week I have decided to end all e-mails to give her time to decide what path she wants to take. I don't know what else to do at this point. I am seeing a Marriage Counselor to help me deal with all of this. To improve myself in case she does not come back to me. You can see my earlier threads on why she left me. I was selfish, jealous and had verbal anger when drinking. I quit drinking 3 months ago when she walked out me. I have reached a point where I can't interfere with endless e-mails or voice mails as it is not working. *Will the silent mode work? What else can I do ?*


Yep, the 180. By her words and actions she is telling you she really doesn't care, you have to believe her, and expect that it won't go anywhere because you can't make a marriage/relationship work unless you are both in it. So do what you need to do... the nice thing about where you are is you have the freedom to do whatever you want. There are still consequences of course, but you don't have to answer to anyone for your choices - if you don't want to get divorce going that is ok, or if you want to move on that is fine too. The 180 is to enable you to let go, because you are gripping so tightly onto nothing - it is hard to relax your grip and open your hand when you think there is something precious in there you don't want to lose, but it isn't there so save your strength for something tangible.


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