# What happens if you're ordered to pay for her attorney, but can't?



## BeachGuy

For the sake of argument, let's assume I'll be expected to pay her attorney fees since I'm the one that wants the divorce. What happens if I don't have the money? Will she have to figure out how to pay it and then I pay her back or something? Not sure how that would play out. She doesn't work but could get money from her parents.

We still share a joint account and my paycheck, but I barely have enough saved up to hire my lawyer.

I suppose it could be a bargaining point with the house and assets and all? Anybody been through it this way?

Thanks.


----------



## 827Aug

Divorce is expensive. Be prepared to give up a lot. Typically, most attorneys will require a person to pay a retainer first. In your wife's case, perhaps her family will pay that. Anyway, once the case gets rolling, her attorney will then file a motion with the court for attorney fees to be paid by you. If the judge awards her attorney fees, then it will be up to you to decide where to find the money.


----------



## C3156

BeachGuy said:


> For the sake of argument, let's assume I'll be expected to pay her attorney fees since I'm the one that wants the divorce. What happens if I don't have the money? Will she have to figure out how to pay it and then I pay her back or something? Not sure how that would play out. She doesn't work but could get money from her parents.
> 
> We still share a joint account and my paycheck, but I barely have enough saved up to hire my lawyer.
> 
> I suppose it could be a bargaining point with the house and assets and all? Anybody been through it this way?
> 
> Thanks.


First of all, assume nothing. That will just get you into trouble. 

In most cases, the individuals involved are expected to pay their respective attorney. They may request that you pay her attorney fees when they file their motion, but that does not mean the court will order you to pay. 

As I mentioned to you in another post, develop your strategy now. Don't let the cat out of the bag before you are ready to file. Take the time to build your case for court and protect yourself and your children. You will be up against a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) which is an uphill battle to begin with. You need to have your ducks all in a row for the best outcome.

I found this link THE LIST (Print It) - Divorce Forum and Child Custody Forum to have a lot of good advice to get you started down the right track.

It is long and detailed but there are nuggets of information that were learned the hard way by other men in your situation. Believe what it says about this being a war, do not let down your guard if you proceed down this path.

Determine your strategy, develop your plan, and execute your plan. Remember the P's: Prior planning prevents piss poor performance.


----------



## Married in VA

Beach,
If she gets a motion through the court for you to pay her attorney's fees then you will have to pay up. It becomes a binding court order, like child and spousal support. Failure to pay will result in you being in contempt of court which may result in pay garnishment, seizure of property, and jail time. Since the people you are ordered to pay are attorneys, then expect enforcement to be swift and rigid. Let's hope fees are not awarded. Your best bet is that she can't afford the retainer and will have to represent herself pro se.


----------



## brokenbythis

If she's a stay at home mom and has no income, petitions the court for you to pay her attorney's fees, it will probably be awared to her.

You will have to pay up, unfortunately. Along with spousal support and child support. You will be dead broke for a very, very long time.

You may want to work on your marriage...


----------



## Married in VA

brokenbythis is exactly right. The laws requiring one spouse to pay the other spouse's attorney fees were introduced that one spouse couldn't "starve" the other one out a good settlement. A way to keep things fair during the litigation process. Your best bet will be to settle out of court, or as brokenbythis says, work on your marriage. Attorney fees only become an issue in contested divorce cases. 

Current divorce laws in most states are terrible and are generally written to favor a lower earning spouse (women mostly). They don't take fault into consideration (adultery, cruelty, etc.). They were put on the books by feminists for the sole purpose of facilitating wealth transfer from men to women. Make sure as you go through the divorce process that you inform your state officials that the laws need changing to reflect 21st century norms.

Now if you truly can't afford her attorney's fees then you will have to file a petition with the court detailing why you can't afford them. You will have to prove that to the judge. Like with spousal support, only certain deductions are allowed. Your VISA payment and car payments are of no concern to the court and every trip to the courtroom equals a HUGE payday for BOTH lawyers, at your expense.


----------



## Couleur

Beachguy -- didn't you say in another thread that you had moved back into the house and were trying to save up to furnish an apartment? I"d be wary that a court might look at that money and tell you to put it towards her legal fees. Of course, if you were buying the microwave and the second set of furniture, etc, then it is less likely you'd be asked to sell those to get the $$ to pay for it....

I also can't remember if your wife knows that you are getting close to filing? If so, is there any way to try to start setting aside some money into a "divorce" fund each month that you will both use to finance your split?


----------



## BeachGuy

MarriedinVA answered my question. I don't doubt that I may be ordered to pay her atty fees, but my question was what if I just flat out didn't have the funds? At what point would I be expected to pay? I'd have to pay her retainer right up front? I can't imagine that happening since she'd have to pay a retainer before a lawyer could ever petition to make me pay. So would I have to reimburse her for that retainer? Then pay her legal fees going forward? Or not until after the divorce, then I pay her lawyer?

A couple of folks have said they suggest I work on my marriage. You have no idea how much I've already worked on my marriage. It's a one-way street though.


----------



## BeachGuy

Couleur said:


> Beachguy -- didn't you say in another thread that you had moved back into the house and were trying to save up to furnish an apartment? I"d be wary that a court might look at that money and tell you to put it towards her legal fees. Of course, if you were buying the microwave and the second set of furniture, etc, then it is less likely you'd be asked to sell those to get the $$ to pay for it....
> 
> I also can't remember if your wife knows that you are getting close to filing? If so, is there any way to try to start setting aside some money into a "divorce" fund each month that you will both use to finance your split?


I was saving money up to pay my lawyer only. No other cash. I currently have enough to pay my lawyers retainer but that's it. I've decided to sit tight until January and will be able to save another good chunk by then that I planned on using to rent something after the divorce. Of course I understand if that money is sitting in my account, the court will likely award half of it to her.


----------



## EnjoliWoman

BeachGuy said:


> I was saving money up to pay my lawyer only. No other cash. I currently have enough to pay my lawyers retainer but that's it. I've decided to sit tight until January and will be able to save another good chunk by then that I planned on using to rent something after the divorce. Of course I understand if that money is sitting in my account, the court will likely award half of it to her.


Maybe before you file, you could put a deposit down on an apartment (or house - whatever) with a move-in date way down the road. That way you have already spent it and it's not in your account. Or buy visa/amex/mc gift card or pre-paid debit cards?


----------

