# Unable to handle my wife sexually after she lost 210 pounds



## Jack I (Nov 23, 2012)

My wife recently lost 210 pounds from gastric bypass surgery.In a sense,it's like having sex with a new woman,which creates a lot of excitement.Also since now that she is in better shape,she is doing kegel exercises which has tightened her vagina.Anyway I can't go for longer than two minutes during intercourse.One night we were having sex missionary style and them she got on top and I ejaculated in about 13 or so seconds.I was really embarrassed and I guess she could tell from my facial expressions. I wasn't suffering from Premature ejaculation before.Also my wife claims that she doesn't care,which I'm having a bit of a tough time believing.


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

Are you satisfied?

If so, don't worry about it. You have to trust your wife to tell you the truth, so if she says it doesn't matter than it doesn't matter. Be sure to be as open with her as you can and let her be free to express to you that if she's not happy, to let you know. But if she says she is happy, believe her.


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

A good problem to have. So just extend the foreplay and give her a few orgasms from oral, fingers or toys before intercourse. She probably feels so good about herself already with the weight loss and your quick loads are merely reaffirming that for her.


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## sharkeey (Apr 27, 2012)

Jack I said:


> .Also my wife claims that she doesn't care,which I'm having a bit of a tough time believing.


She cares!

She did all that work to improve herself and now she's got 13 seconds worth of sex from you.

Make up for it with cunnilinguis

And a lot of flowers.


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

sharkeey said:


> She cares!
> 
> She did all that work to improve herself and now she's got 13 seconds worth of sex from you.
> 
> ...


So his wife is a liar?

I'm sure she improved herself for a variety of reasons, and there's no guarantee sex even factored into that decision. The OP certainly didn't imply or say that sexual function was a reason behind the weight loss. Additionally, he did say his wife has told him she doesn't care. So why are you so certain that she does care and he's failing her?


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## sharkeey (Apr 27, 2012)

kingsfan said:


> So his wife is a liar?


There's a difference between lying and being tactful so you don't hurt someone's feelings.

Just like he probably didn't tell her she was fat, that's not a lie either.

I find it hard to believe that she doesn't care that sex takes _13 seconds_,unless she doesn't care for sex at all in which case there are bigger issues here.

Op,

Use a condom to decrease sensitivity, jerk off more, think about scenes of horribly mutilated accident victims during sex, or picture yourself screwing another dude, that sort of thing will probably slow you down.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Jack I said:


> My wife recently lost 210 pounds from gastric bypass surgery.In a sense,it's like having sex with a new woman,which creates a lot of excitement.Also since now that she is in better shape,she is doing kegel exercises which has tightened her vagina.Anyway I can't go for longer than two minutes during intercourse.One night we were having sex missionary style and them she got on top and I ejaculated in about 13 or so seconds.I was really embarrassed and I guess she could tell from my facial expressions. I wasn't suffering from Premature ejaculation before.Also my wife claims that she doesn't care,which I'm having a bit of a tough time believing.


Maybe it makes her feel good that she is now so hot that you cannot control yourself with her. That might be quite a head trip for her. 

you will probably get more control of this with time. So as others have said.. more foreplay and get her off first.

Work with it, not against.


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

sharkeey said:


> There's a difference between lying and being tactful so you don't hurt someone's feelings.
> 
> Just like he probably didn't tell her she was fat, that's not a lie either.
> 
> ...


First, it would be a lie if she asked him if she was fat and he said no or even insinuated she wasn't. Likewise, if he asked her if she was satisfied and she says, as he said in his OP "she claims that she doesn't care" then that would be a lie if she did actually care.

Secondly, we both may be operating under the false understanding that sex actually only lasts 13 seconds. As he said in his OP "One night we were having sex missionary style and them she got on top and I ejaculated in about 13 or so seconds." This would indicate they were having sex missionary style first, and he only went in 13 seconds AFTER they switched positions. As well, I do hope the Op is offering, or doing, additional things for his wife to help her out if she wants/needs them. I'll leave it to him to elaborate on if that is happening becuase if it isn't, I agree Sharkeey it should at least be offered.


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## aribabe (Aug 9, 2012)

Yes, she's a liar... if you must call her something. I'd say she's just being a kind wfe. Not too many loving, caring wives would tell their husband that he sucks in bed since he can only last between 13 seconds and two minutes. Its easier to say "of it's fine hunny" and then go masturbate. I'm sure she's doing the kegel excercises to enhance their sex life, thirteen seconds isn't enhanced... apparently it's a decrease since he wasn't having the PE before.

OP: I can imagine that having a hot new wife makes you feel excited and quick triger, as time goes by and you become more accustomed to the new her, it'll probably decrease. In the interim, just use other modes to satisfy her, oral, fingering, vibrator/dildo... make it fun and try new things. I'm sure she'd love al the extra sexual attention from you.



kingsfan said:


> So his wife is a liar?
> 
> I'm sure she improved herself for a variety of reasons, and there's no guarantee sex even factored into that decision. The OP certainly didn't imply or say that sexual function was a reason behind the weight loss. Additionally, he did say his wife has told him she doesn't care. So why are you so certain that she does care and he's failing her?


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

kingsfan said:


> So his wife is a liar?
> 
> I'm sure she improved herself for a variety of reasons, and there's no guarantee sex even factored into that decision. The OP certainly didn't imply or say that sexual function was a reason behind the weight loss. Additionally, he did say his wife has told him she doesn't care. So why are you so certain that she does care and he's failing her?


maybe I'm wrong but if a chick gets on top she is looking for a ride not a quick place to sit a rest her feet.

You might have to start rubbing one out before you guys hook up.


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## sharkeey (Apr 27, 2012)

kingsfan said:


> First, it would be a lie if she asked him if she was fat and he said no or even insinuated she wasn't. Likewise, if he asked her if she was satisfied and she says, as he said in his OP "she claims that she doesn't care" then that would be a lie if she did actually care.


Ok, fine. You win the "what constitutes a lie" debate, but I'll stand by my assertion that it does most likely bother her that he's not lasting all that long, and he's gotta go through the usual steps to rectify his problem or she's going to probably go look for it elsewhere. Especially if it's well under a minute.

Think about it from her point of view. She's thin, she's hot, she's exploring new sexual boundaries, and here's her lover who can't even remotely keep up with her.

This problem has to be fixed. ASAP.


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

aribabe said:


> Yes, she's a liar... if you must call her something. I'd say she's just being a kind wfe. Not too many loving, caring wives would tell their husband that he sucks in bed since he can only last between 13 seconds and two minutes. Its easier to say "of it's fine hunny" and then go masturbate. I'm sure she's doing the kegel excercises to enhance their sex life, thirteen seconds isn't enhanced... apparently it's a decrease since he wasn't having the PE before.
> 
> OP: I can imagine that having a hot new wife makes you feel excited and quick triger, as time goes by and you become more accustomed to the new her, it'll probably decrease. In the interim, just use other modes to satisfy her, oral, fingering, vibrator/dildo... make it fun and try new things. I'm sure she'd love al the extra sexual attention from you.
> 
> ...


I just love this board sometimes.

Almost all the time we hear it preached that couples need to communicate, communicate, communicate. Now here is a man that is wanting to be sure he's actually satisfying his wife and instead of being told he should accept what his wife is communicating to him, he rather should view her as a liar, or as a 'kind wife' and actually go against what she is saying and insist that she is actually not sexually fulfilled and keep pushing for a solution to a problem that, based on what his wife is communicating, doesn't actually exist.

Additionally, there is ways to be a kind wife and still not say your husband 'sucks' in bed. How about something like "If you want sex to last longer, let's try different positions until we find something that works," or "How about we go for round two later tonight" or something where you can clearly indicate you're up for a longer session while being supportive?

If your spouse can't be honest with you, about everything, including sex (especially when the other spouse is someone like the OP who clearly wants to discuss the issue and wants to fix it), then you have bigger issues than sex.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Why does sex have to end just because he orgasms? I love when I can make my husband cum quickly! Then he takes care of me.

And if I just lost 210 pounds, I'd be stoked that you think I'm so hot that you cum like a 15 year old boy.!


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

sharkeey said:


> Ok, fine. You win the "what constitutes a lie" debate, but I'll stand by my assertion that it does most likely bother her that he's not lasting all that long, and he's gotta go through the usual steps to rectify his problem or she's going to probably go look for it elsewhere. Especially if it's well under a minute.
> 
> Think about it from her point of view. She's thin, she's hot, she's exploring new sexual boundaries, and here's her lover who can't even remotely keep up with her.
> 
> This problem has to be fixed. ASAP.


So she can sit there and say "there's no problem" to her husband, but then inside get frustrated, turn to another man and get laid like tile, and all of that is his fault for not mindreading and figuring out what it is she wants/needs in bed? Why not demand he throw a bullseye in the dark too?


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I'm sure in time it will correct itself.

Just be fun with sex. It's not all about PIV.


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## Jack I (Nov 23, 2012)

kingsfan said:


> First, it would be a lie if she asked him if she was fat and he said no or even insinuated she wasn't. Likewise, if he asked her if she was satisfied and she says, as he said in his OP "she claims that she doesn't care" then that would be a lie if she did actually care.
> 
> Secondly, we both may be operating under the false understanding that sex actually only lasts 13 seconds. As he said in his OP "One night we were having sex missionary style and them she got on top and I ejaculated in about 13 or so seconds." This would indicate they were having sex missionary style first, and he only went in 13 seconds AFTER they switched positions. As well, I do hope the Op is offering, or doing, additional things for his wife to help her out if she wants/needs them. I'll leave it to him to elaborate on if that is happening becuase if it isn't, I agree Sharkeey it should at least be offered.


Thanks for replying.Yes,I do do things to please her other than intercourse.Oral Sex,clitoral stimulation,etc.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

sharkeey said:


> Ok, fine. You win the "what constitutes a lie" debate, but I'll stand by my assertion that it does most likely bother her that he's not lasting all that long, and he's gotta go through the usual steps to rectify his problem or she's going to probably go look for it elsewhere. Especially if it's well under a minute.
> 
> Think about it from her point of view. She's thin, she's hot, she's exploring new sexual boundaries, and here's her lover who can't even remotely keep up with her.
> 
> This problem has to be fixed. ASAP.


Some of us just hang out at the CWI section of this forum, don't we.

Whats even scarier is sharkeey is more right then wrong with regards to the infidelity aspect to all of this.


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## sharkeey (Apr 27, 2012)

that_girl said:


> Why does sex have to end just because he orgasms? I love when I can make my husband cum quickly! Then he takes care of me.


Because we get very tired after we cum, going down on her is the last thing we want to do. It's nearly impossible to fight the urge to roll over and close our eyes. Then again maybe he isn't all that tired if it's only been a minute or thereabouts.



kingsfan said:


> So she can sit there and say "there's no problem" to her husband, but then inside get frustrated, turn to another man and get laid like tile, and all of that is his fault for not mindreading and figuring out what it is she wants/needs in bed? Why not demand he throw a bullseye in the dark too?


Because people often have trouble being honest. Yes, ideally she would tell him the truth, not that it would help, but regardless that's probably what will happen. She'll remain quiet, and eventually out of sheer frustration she will stray. 




the guy said:


> Some of us just hang out at the CWI section of this forum, don't we.
> 
> Whats even scarier is sharkeey is more right then wrong with regards to the infidelity aspect to all of this.


Why is it scary that I am more right than wrong?

Why is it scary that some people hang out in the CWI section?


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## aribabe (Aug 9, 2012)

Yes, he should view her as a liar if she's clearly working to enhance their sex life by doing the kegels yet she is "saying" that she's fine with 13 second sex.
Much like a man who's wife has gained excessive weight saying he's "fine" with her body while he stops having sex with her so he can watch porn.

Non verbal communication is the main way we communicate. And her non verbal communication... kegels, weight loss, new found sexual desires, is saying she wants good sex.

Good sex lasts more than two minutes, it just does



kingsfan said:


> I just love this board sometimes.
> 
> Almost all the time we hear it preached that couples need to communicate, communicate, communicate. Now here is a man that is wanting to be sure he's actually satisfying his wife and instead of being told he should accept what his wife is communicating to him, he rather should view her as a liar, or as a 'kind wife' and actually go against what she is saying and insist that she is actually not sexually fulfilled and keep pushing for a solution to a problem that, based on what his wife is communicating, doesn't actually exist.
> 
> ...


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

sharkeey said:


> Because we get very tired after we cum, going down on her is the last thing we want to do. It's nearly impossible to fight the urge to roll over and close our eyes. Then again maybe he isn't all that tired if it's only been a minute or thereabouts.


I don't know who this 'we' is, but don't count me in it. I'm quite happy (and wide awake) enough to keep going (PIV or in other ways) until my fiancee has had hers if she so desires. Sex should be about both of you, not a race to go first.



sharkeey said:


> Because people often have trouble being honest. Yes, ideally she would tell him the truth, not that it would help, but regardless that's probably what will happen. She'll remain quiet, and eventually out of sheer frustration she will stray.


And again, that's on her. Even if he does guess that she really is lying and really does want something else, what's to say this won't be repeated behaviour down the road and in fact she expects him to solve her riddles in other situations, sexual or not? If that is the truth, then this relationship will eventually blow up anyways because no one is a mindreader and eventually he won't figure out what she's missing and she'll get it elsewhere. You have to be expected to at least tell your partner what it is you want, and there is other ways to get it than being blunt and saying "you suck in bed, last longer or I'm going elsewhere."


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Wow. My husband takes care of me after he cums too soon. "Being tired" is an excuse? dang. I thought that was a reason to "alpha up" when women say it. Mah bad.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

OP, how long has this been happening? I'm pretty sure it will correct itself. I can only imagine how it feels to have sex with your wife after this dramatic change. Things will balance out.


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

aribabe said:


> Yes, he should view her as a liar if she's clearly working to enhance their sex life by doing the kegels yet she is "saying" that she's fine with 13 second sex.
> Much like a man who's wife has gained excessive weight saying he's "fine" with her body while he stops having sex with her so he can watch porn.
> 
> Non verbal communication is the main way we communicate. And her non verbal communication... kegels, weight loss, new found sexual desires, is saying she wants good sex.
> ...


Non-verbal is the main way we communicate in general. I'd expect my fiancee to communicate with me in a different and more clear and direct way than she communicates with the check-in attendant at a hotel though.

Additionally, I think there's a significant difference between your examples, since one person is refusing sex and another isn't. 

It just amazes me how this board preaches communication, then demands a guy read his wife's mind in a situation like this.

OP, be as clear as possible that you are open to hearing all forms of constructive critisism and that you want her to 100% enjoy her sex life with you and that you'll do whatever you can to make that work. As long as she knows this, the onus is on her to tell you what she wants/needs/likes and if she'd rather bottle that up and be a 'nice wife' by instead turning around and banging the local gas boy rather than ask you for what she really wants, then she likely wasn't much of a wife anyways.

What's a good marriage without honesty, openness, trust and communication?


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## aribabe (Aug 9, 2012)

She's not refusing sex.... yet
Will she probably start refusing sex if the sex doesn't increase in quality.... yeah, probably
People don't like things that aren't pleasant to them, especially when those things revolve around the most intimate part of a person, their sexuality.
So sure, he can be a bit foolish and "believe" that his wife honestly is as satisfied with 2 minute sex as she claims, he can quote the mantra that "communication is key" to himself all day long. But none of that will change his wife's genuine feelings.
So, wouldn't it be better for him to just do something about it, before his wife decides to tell him that he's bad in bed?
I certainly think so.



kingsfan said:


> Non-verbal is the main way we communicate in general. I'd expect my fiancee to communicate with me in a different and more clear and direct way than she communicates with the check-in attendant at a hotel though.
> 
> Additionally, I think there's a significant difference between your examples, since one person is refusing sex and another isn't.
> 
> ...


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

aribabe said:


> She's not refusing sex.... yet
> Will she probably start refusing sex if the sex doesn't increase in quality.... yeah, probably
> People don't like things that aren't pleasant to them, especially when those things revolve around the most intimate part of a person, their sexuality.
> So sure, he can be a bit foolish and "believe" that his wife honestly is as satisfied with 2 minute sex as she claims, he can quote the mantra that "communication is key" to himself all day long. But none of that will change his wife's genuine feelings.
> ...


I think a good lover will always try to do something, even if there is no problem. A good lover will continue to try and make the sex life better and better because it's part of a marriage and that's the way a marriage should be in all aspect. Treated as something that can just get better and better.

That said, it's hard to make things better if you don't know what better is. Yeah, maybe longer PIV sex is good. That said, maybe she is bored of PIV sex and that's why she's fine with a short stint and maybe she'd rather get what the OP said he was also willing to do, such as oral, clitoral stimulation, etc. and as such, a longer PIV session is actually not what she's wanting. 

My point is that this all false back to her. If he's making it quite clear that he's willing to work on making the sex better, won't get angry at any criticism (as long as its expressed nicely) and geniuenely wants to hear from her what she wants/needs, that should be more than enough to get her talking. The more he encourages her to bottle up what she actually thinking, the more likely it will repeat and the more likely he will eventually miss what she actually wants. Then it could really be an issue since the form of non-verbal communication you are encouraging would be broken, and she'd be at a loss for why he's not getting what she's (not) telling him.


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## aribabe (Aug 9, 2012)

Ok, I'll tell you what better is... piv that lasts more than two minutes
Women don't get married to men so they can solely enjoy the "lesbian experience" of oral and fingering. They could've married a woman if that's what they wanted for the extent of their sex life. Married women marry men so they can also enjoy the d*ck.And its hard to enjoy the d*ck when you can only get it for a couple of minutes, that's just a really bad tease. If she was bored with piv she wouldn't be doing kegels, clearly. I doubt she's trying to tighten her vaginal muscles for his fingers and tongue.

He's not making it clear that he's receptive to criticism, his non verbal communication, the face that he made after cuming quickly said to her, I feel bad about that and I hope I haven't displeased you. I'm sorry but most loving women are not going to say, yes, you came wayyy to quickly, that was absolutely unsatisfying. No, she's going to say "it was fine baby, don't worry about it". That's easier and it's "nicer". Most women try to keep up an appearance of "niceness", its more feminine.

Waiting for his wife to complain that he's bad in bed before he does something about the issue is an ok idea, doing something about it before she complains is even better



kingsfan said:


> I think a good lover will always try to do something, even if there is no problem. A good lover will continue to try and make the sex life better and better because it's part of a marriage and that's the way a marriage should be in all aspect. Treated as something that can just get better and better.
> 
> That said, it's hard to make things better if you don't know what better is. Yeah, maybe longer PIV sex is good. That said, maybe she is bored of PIV sex and that's why she's fine with a short stint and maybe she'd rather get what the OP said he was also willing to do, such as oral, clitoral stimulation, etc. and as such, a longer PIV session is actually not what she's wanting.
> 
> My point is that this all false back to her. If he's making it quite clear that he's willing to work on making the sex better, won't get angry at any criticism (as long as its expressed nicely) and geniuenely wants to hear from her what she wants/needs, that should be more than enough to get her talking. The more he encourages her to bottle up what she actually thinking, the more likely it will repeat and the more likely he will eventually miss what she actually wants. Then it could really be an issue since the form of non-verbal communication you are encouraging would be broken, and she'd be at a loss for why he's not getting what she's (not) telling him.


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

If I lost 210 pounds, I would be somewhat understanding.

I love d1ck, but this is something they can talk about and work though. Good grief. 

And no, I wouldn't have married a woman. I don't like the idea of touching other vaginas, which I'd have to do if I married a woman. I like men.


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## aribabe (Aug 9, 2012)

I agree, they can definitely work it out.
But him believing that 2 minutes of intercourse is fine because she hasn't complained...yet, is just a bad idea. 



that_girl said:


> If I lost 210 pounds, I would be somewhat understanding.
> 
> I love d1ck, but this is something they can talk about and work though. Good grief.
> 
> And no, I wouldn't have married a woman. I don't like the idea of touching other vaginas, which I'd have to do if I married a woman. I like men.


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

aribabe said:


> Ok, I'll tell you what better is... piv that lasts more than two minutes
> Women don't get married to men so they can solely enjoy the "lesbian experience" of oral and fingering. They could've married a woman if that's what they wanted for the extent of their sex life. Married women marry men so they can also enjoy the d*ck.And its hard to enjoy the d*ck when you can only get it for a couple of minutes, that's just a really bad tease. If she was bored with piv she wouldn't be doing kegels, clearly. I doubt she's trying to tighten her vaginal muscles for his fingers and tongue.
> 
> He's not making it clear that he's receptive to criticism, his non verbal communication, the face that he made after cuming quickly said to her, I feel bad about that and I hope I haven't displeased you. I'm sorry but most loving women are not going to say, yes, you came wayyy to quickly, that was absolutely unsatisfying. No, she's going to say "it was fine baby, don't worry about it". That's easier and it's "nicer". Most women try to keep up an appearance of "niceness", its more feminine.
> ...


Why does doing something have to mean that he has to guess what she wants?

Why is asking what she wants not considered doing something?

We aren't talking about some basic pump and dump guy that only cares if he's getting his rocks off and couldn't give a flying **** what his partner wants. If that were the case, he wouldn't have posted here. He's been more than clear he wants to give her what she wants and has communicated on the issue. If he hadn't, he wouldn't have been told she's ok with what she's getting.

To you more than 2 minutes is better. Are you every woman? I know plenty of guys who would take a blow job over PiV sex almost every time. They don't even really want pu$$y. Are they every guy? No? I know I'd take PiV sex the vast majority of the time as that's what I enjoy but I don't profess to speak for every man either. Everyone has their own desires, so if his wife is saying she's fine with what he's bringing (including oral, etc.) than why are you pretending to try and get into her mind and assume that she isn't?

Btw, not to reopen the debate from another thread about certain sexual acts equating to be of a homosexual basis, but why is oral and fingering a 'lesbian expereience'? I think there's a lot of men who provide oral sex to women very well and vice versa. It is not a lesbian thing.


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## aribabe (Aug 9, 2012)

I'm sorry, but she's not doing kegels so she can enjoy have two minutes of sex. 
Women aren't snowflakes kingsfan. Are there some women that just love a good two minute piv experience?Possibly. Would the majority of women like piv to last longer than that? Yes, definitely. He'd be smarter to assume that his wife is similair to the majority, than to assume that she is a mystical outlier who just can't contain herslef at the thought of two minute intercourse. 

I didn't say that oral and fingering is a lesbian experience, I said "solely oral and fingering" is a lesbian experience If my husband only wanted to eat and finger me but didn't f*ck me (or f*cked me for only a couple of minutes at best and at worst only 13 seconds), i'd feel that I was getting the lesbian experience. And that wouldn't be satisfying. I've been with women and I must say, sex is sooo much better when there is (satisfying) d*ck involved. 

I don't think its much of a guess to assume that she wants piv that lasts longer than two minutes. When she's crying does he have to guess that she might want to be consoled? Some things are just kinda common sense. This is one of those things.



kingsfan said:


> Why does doing something have to mean that he has to guess what she wants?
> 
> Why is asking what she wants not considered doing something?
> 
> ...


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## east2west (Oct 19, 2012)

kingsfan said:


> Why does doing something have to mean that he has to guess what she wants?
> 
> Why is asking what she wants not considered doing something?
> 
> ...


Aribabe is right. I think the debate over how his wife communicates is not so productive. Although she might be thrilled at the idea of being so desirable as to get him off quickly, its pretty obvious that 13 seconds of PIV sex is not what she is going to be happy with in the long run.

She has improved her sexual performance and so the OP will have to catch up in order to keep her satisfied. That's just how it is. 

OP do you do Kegels yourself? You should.
Also work on your physical fitness.

Also practice screwing your new wife until you get better at it. If the problem is she's squeezing your d!ck too hard maybe she can ease up a little. Also when she is on top maybe ask her to slow it down a little and communicate to with her to help you last longer. I imagine that after losing 210 pounds she can move faster and with a lot more force. But if she can temper that a little bit she can help you gradually build up the amount of stimulation you can take without cumming.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

There's a huge difference in her 'caring' and her being mad or angry or frustrated.

OPs post stated they were having sex in missionary and they changed position and he only lasted 13 seconds.... so they were already HAVING sex and anyway doesn't sex involve all the foreplay as well, the oral, the massage, the sex toys. 

Maybe...just maybe she had enjoyed that.

PIV is just one aspect of sex... not the 'be all and end all'.

Ask any lesbian! 

OP- please keep the lines of communication open with your wife...discuss this... it will be good for both of you and your marriage!

Practice coming to the verge of O...then stop and doing something else, then repeat. 

Get to know her new body...keep it fun!


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## Michie (Aug 26, 2012)

I'm a biggish woman and can make my H cum in under two minutes, it's highly satisfying to have this ability.

However if you are interested in last longer for your wife or yourself then run one off in your after dinner/work shower and poof 13 seconds shall extend.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Open up now let it all go (Sep 20, 2012)

210 pounds? Whats left of her?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Michie (Aug 26, 2012)

I'm a biggish woman and can make my H cum in under two minutes, it's highly satisfying to have this ability.

However if you are interested in last longer for your wife or yourself then run one off in your after dinner/work shower and poof 13 seconds shall extend.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Jack I said:


> My wife recently lost 210 pounds from gastric bypass surgery.In a sense,it's like having sex with a new woman,which creates a lot of excitement.Also since now that she is in better shape,she is doing kegel exercises which has tightened her vagina.Anyway I can't go for longer than two minutes during intercourse.One night we were having sex missionary style and them she got on top and I ejaculated in about 13 or so seconds.I was really embarrassed and I guess she could tell from my facial expressions. I wasn't suffering from Premature ejaculation before.Also my wife claims that she doesn't care,which I'm having a bit of a tough time believing.


The best cure for this I have found is having sex more often. Also her on top is better for this as well.

Good luck. Enjoy. 

Actually many women love to have sex and are not all about having an O each and everytime. Just enjoy. Try going down on her and then having intercourse.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> Maybe it makes her feel good that she is now so hot that you cannot control yourself with her. That might be quite a head trip for her.
> 
> you will probably get more control of this with time. So as others have said.. more foreplay and get her off first.
> 
> Work with it, not against.


Great advice.


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## Jack I (Nov 23, 2012)

aribabe said:


> Ok, I'll tell you what better is... piv that lasts more than two minutes
> Women don't get married to men so they can solely enjoy the "lesbian experience" of oral and fingering. They could've married a woman if that's what they wanted for the extent of their sex life. Married women marry men so they can also enjoy the d*ck.And its hard to enjoy the d*ck when you can only get it for a couple of minutes, that's just a really bad tease. If she was bored with piv she wouldn't be doing kegels, clearly. I doubt she's trying to tighten her vaginal muscles for his fingers and tongue.
> 
> He's not making it clear that he's receptive to criticism, his non verbal communication, the face that he made after cuming quickly said to her, I feel bad about that and I hope I haven't displeased you. I'm sorry but most loving women are not going to say, yes, you came wayyy to quickly, that was absolutely unsatisfying. No, she's going to say "it was fine baby, don't worry about it". That's easier and it's "nicer". Most women try to keep up an appearance of "niceness", its more feminine.
> ...


My wife isn't gay,so she is not getting a lesbian experience.When she receives oral,she is receiving it from a man,therefore making it a heterosexual experience.She would not have married a woman,because she likes men.It seems the only reason you brought that up is because you have been with women.


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## Jack I (Nov 23, 2012)

Open up now let it all go said:


> 210 pounds? Whats left of her?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


She went from 400 pounds to 190 pounds.Stop making jokes.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

That's SUCH a change. Good for her. My friend did the same about 11 years ago and she still looks amazing. She went from 350 to 150 and WOW! Who knew she was so "tiny". I'd known her since toddler age and was just amazed at the process as she changed. Such benefits for her health.

Kudos to your wife  It's a rough road. You guys will be fine. Talk to her. Have a heart to heart. Tell her she's so damn fine, you have a hard time containing yourself. She'll love it. She loves you, so it will be ok.


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## WadeWilson (Jul 4, 2010)

Give it some time...
Don't focus in if she being forthcoming or not... Work on it for you... Because even if it's good for you at two minutes, it'll be that much better for both of you...

Just keep up foreplay, start slower to give yourself some build up, in your off time try looking up male kegel exercises, if you go early then dedicate yourself to continue pace after you're done...

She has made her improvements, make your own if not for anything, for yourself...


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## Jack I (Nov 23, 2012)

Michie said:


> I'm a biggish woman and can make my H cum in under two minutes, it's highly satisfying to have this ability.
> 
> However if you are interested in last longer for your wife or yourself then run one off in your after dinner/work shower and poof 13 seconds shall extend.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


]
What makes you so much different?Why do you have certain women saying"I love the d*** and things of that nature,but then you have others who get an "ego boost"from being able to make their husband ejaculate quickly?And are perfectly satisfied with orgasming from oral sex?Most women can't orgasm just from intercourse anyway.


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## oldgeezer (Sep 8, 2012)

Jack I said:


> My wife recently lost 210 pounds from gastric bypass surgery.In a sense,it's like having sex with a new woman,which creates a lot of excitement.Also since now that she is in better shape,she is doing kegel exercises which has tightened her vagina.Anyway I can't go for longer than two minutes during intercourse.One night we were having sex missionary style and them she got on top and I ejaculated in about 13 or so seconds.I was really embarrassed and I guess she could tell from my facial expressions. I wasn't suffering from Premature ejaculation before.Also my wife claims that she doesn't care,which I'm having a bit of a tough time believing.


Believe her. But get a handle on it. She might think it quite the head trip she can make you blow in short order because she's so hot now, but that'll get old pretty fast. 

I have to say that every now and then my wife would suddenly get the itch to do that, and more than once I was like "hey... nooooooo" and she'd just giggle and clamp down harder, and there'd be nothing I could do, she's push me over the top. 

It's not always about how long, but how fun it is. And exploring how stimulated she can make you will be fun.


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## Open up now let it all go (Sep 20, 2012)

Jack I said:


> She went from 400 pounds to 190 pounds.Stop making jokes.


Who said I'm joking? Sounds like a pretty hefty change. Kudos to your wife for going through with it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

that_girl said:


> Why does sex have to end just because he orgasms? I love when I can make my husband cum quickly! Then he takes care of me.
> 
> And if I just lost 210 pounds, I'd be stoked that you think I'm so hot that you cum like a 15 year old boy.!


Hey..I cum like that!!!! LOL


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

For those who were saying she lost 200 pounds, doing the kegels, blah blah blah.... you are so full of it, it's pathetic. Speaking from experience as one who lost that much weight the same way, she didn't do it so her sex life would be better. She did it so she would LIVE. My God, I was so ready to chew a few people out when I read the posts. And, well, I know ARI will say I'm lying.  But it's true that SHE DOES NOT CARE that you came so fast when you switched positions. You, Jack, are doing other things that are keeping her sexually satisfied. Personally, I LOVE when my husband cums that fast. I LOVE that he can't control himself. I LOVE that I have that effect on him. I do agree with Entropy that you should have more sex... practice makes perfect, you know. But, no, contrary to what SOME believe, we don't get that surgery to have a better sex life. We do it to LIVE. Kegels are not JUST for sex, Ari. I would think you would know that...

So, no, I don't believe his wife is lying. And, she is not just being "kind"... not all wives lie to their spouses about sex. Some of us always tell the truth.


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## oldgeezer (Sep 8, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> For those who were saying she lost 200 pounds, doing the kegels, blah blah blah.... you are so full of it, it's pathetic. Speaking from experience as one who lost that much weight the same way, she didn't do it so her sex life would be better. She did it so she would LIVE.


I only have 150 (55 of it down to date) to lose. But I'm doing it to LIVE as well.


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> For those who were saying she lost 200 pounds, doing the kegels, blah blah blah.... you are so full of it, it's pathetic. Speaking from experience as one who lost that much weight the same way, she didn't do it so her sex life would be better. She did it so she would LIVE. My God, I was so ready to chew a few people out when I read the posts. And, well, I know ARI will say I'm lying.  But it's true that SHE DOES NOT CARE that you came so fast when you switched positions. You, Jack, are doing other things that are keeping her sexually satisfied. Personally, I LOVE when my husband cums that fast. I LOVE that he can't control himself. I LOVE that I have that effect on him. I do agree with Entropy that you should have more sex... practice makes perfect, you know. But, no, contrary to what SOME believe, we don't get that surgery to have a better sex life. We do it to LIVE. Kegels are not JUST for sex, Ari. I would think you would know that...
> 
> So, no, I don't believe his wife is lying. And, she is not just being "kind"... not all wives lie to their spouses about sex. Some of us always tell the truth.


Exactly. But I guess it's smart practice in a marriage to assume your spouse is lying to you to save your feelings only to eventually lead to something worse such as an affair...as if that wouldn't hurt a lot more.

As long as you make it very clear to your spouse that you will be receptive of criticism and will work on any issues she has with the sex life then that should be all that matters at this point. It's much more likely to cause harm if you imply to your wife that you don't believe what she's saying and start pushing or demanding to solve an issue in your sex life that may not even exist at all. I know I'd be upset if my spouse started implying I was lying about what I'm telling her on all issues, sex included.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

kingsfan said:


> Exactly. But I guess it's smart practice in a marriage to assume your spouse is lying to you to save your feelings only to eventually lead to something worse such as an affair...as if that wouldn't hurt a lot more.
> 
> As long as you make it very clear to your spouse that you will be receptive of criticism and will work on any issues she has with the sex life then that should be all that matters at this point. It's much more likely to cause harm if you imply to your wife that you don't believe what she's saying and start pushing or demanding to solve an issue in your sex life that may not even exist at all. I know I'd be upset if my spouse started implying I was lying about what I'm telling her on all issues, sex included.


I actually should clarify that I don't lie to my husband, period. There was only one point in our marriage (roughly a two year time frame) where I ever lied to him. I learned from that. I never lied to him before that, and not since.


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## Michael A. Brown (Oct 16, 2012)

If you are satisfied on it, I think I don't see any problem on it.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

sharkeey said:


> There's a difference between lying and being tactful so you don't hurt someone's feelings.
> 
> Just like he probably didn't tell her she was fat, that's not a lie either.
> 
> ...


 She may not care right now that he only lasts 13 seconds, but over time It will cause bigger issues. This is what sex is like with my husband! 13 seconds if that.. What am I supposed to do with that.. I am not saying this to be mean, but she will care at sometime or another.


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

ladybird said:


> She may not care right now that he only lasts 13 seconds, but over time It will cause bigger issues. This is what sex is like with my husband! 13 seconds if that.. What am I supposed to do with that.. I am not saying this to be mean, but she will care at sometime or another.


What have you tried to get around this? What has your husband tried?


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