# 8 yo draining my h...what do i do???



## lost1234 (Aug 24, 2009)

:scratchhead:we have been somewhat separated for 3 months, meaning my h does all he should be doing for our family in every way except sleeping here at night. he goes to his parents. there were some issues with our marriage, that we have both ( me a bit more)been working on. to make a long story as short as possible...I was very possesive and controling with my h. my h after treatment for depression for 7 months, found out after several different tests that his testosterone levels are basically depleted. he is being treated and doing well however this will take time...his dr told us he is basically in the middle of andropause,( male menopause, mid life crisis and the such) i am working hard at simply being supportive, listening and really trying to let him have his space so we can all get through this.
our 8 yo daughter is adhd ( 3 yrs of dr, psych, and neurologist), she is literally driving my h up the wall. he is having a VERY difficult time dealing with it, and in turn is adding sooooo much stress to everything else.he believes the dr, psych and counselors are full of it and says they have the knowledge but dont deal with the problems on a daily basis. i feel stuck. i can not do everything myself...we need to be on the same page. its as if he expects her to be fixed overnight. he doesnt have the coping skills and clear mind and patience right now to be able to do what needs to be done to help her. it is killing me bcause the love he has for all of us can be overwhelming and he wants to be the perfect dad.he has always been a wonderful husband and a hands on father...i know it is eating away at him and that he feels like he is failing what in the world can i do???? please help me here!!!!!


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## hoping (Sep 28, 2009)

i am sorry to read about your troubles. have you talked to your child pysch? they may have some advice to help parents of ADHD children. i know my middle child (8 yo in dec.) is a little monster and my wife and i have suspected ADHD but never thought it was a real problem, but then again, we have eachother for support there... if nowhere else  but in my case i am also the house wife, and bread winner and man of the house, all rolled into one adorably pudgy package  lol just kidding about the adorably pudgy part sorry.


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

My 6 yo son is ADHD and autistic, ocd and has seperation anxiety and the only thing that ever seems to calm him down is.......duh duh duhhhh pause for effect......... swimming lol. We go to the local pool ( which is free) and he swims and splashes. After about 2 hours he is calm enough and hungry enough to get out and actually settle down for a while. I do this after school and then on the weekends in the late afternoon. Helps some!!


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