# I Want My wife to Take control



## Tino28 (Sep 25, 2015)

is this a good idea I have always been in control, buy lately i am so turned by a being told what to do she has before. strap on play etc. do women like to be in charge. once we get going i love making love to here


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Tino28 said:


> is this a good idea I have always been in control, buy lately *i am so turned by a being told what to do* she has before. strap on play etc. do women like to be in charge. once we get going i love making love to here


You want for her to want to be in charge... Ultimately this only works if it is something inherently that she wants to do. 

Otherwise you are *topping from the bottom*, which essentially means you are still in charge if you demand that she take charge for your pleasure. 

Cheers, 
Badsanta


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Tino28 said:


> is this a good idea I have always been in control, buy lately i am so turned by a being told what to do she has before. strap on play etc. do women like to be in charge. once we get going i love making love to here


So what aspect of control do you want her to pick up? What aspect of control do you want to loose? Have you talked over control enough with her to understand her desires? Is is just sex initiation or sexual role exchange?

For example do you want her to tell you when you can and can't go to the bathroom? What you get to eat. What clothes to wear, if any. What you can spend money on. When you can speak. When you can orgasm. Do you want her to humiliate you? Force you to do things you find disgusting. Do you want to do all the household chores for her and be her servant. Or is it you want her to assume a more masculine role of initiating sex and penetrating you, while you assume a more feminine role? What are the limits of the control? 

Getting her to exercise control over you is a huge topic area to spring on a spouse unless you really know what you want and/or you approach it in a playful non threatening way. 

You might want to start out slow, if yo uare looking at temporary power exchanges. I would assume that your strap on play is sort of like role playing, but maybe you can kick the roles up a knotch, if that is your thing. Role playing games like teacher/student, employer/employee, police officer/arrested criminal, etc. also provide a way to get into testing the waters on control for the two of you. The advantage of starting out with role playing is that it is limited in time, it is negotiated by both of you and it is about something that both of your are exploring together not one doing to the other.

Good luck.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

badsanta said:


> You want for her to want to be in charge... Ultimately this only works if it is something inherently that she wants to do.
> 
> Otherwise you are *topping from the bottom*, which essentially means you are still in charge if you demand that she take charge for your pleasure.
> 
> ...


Some people need to be topped from the bottom. Especially beginners. A beginner might be quite willing and excited about being Dominant, but have no real idea of how to go about it. That's when having a partner willing to top from the bottom for a while comes in handy. Usually, it's temporary until the neophyte gains confidence and truly understands what to do.


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

in answer to your question, do women like to take control - the answer is some do, some don't, some will, some won't. only you and she can work out the answer to that one for the two of you. it doesn't matter what the rest of the world does.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Maneo said:


> in answer to your question, do women like to take control - the answer is *some do, some don't, some will, some won't.* only you and she can work out the answer to that one for the two of you. it doesn't matter what the rest of the world does.


I'll add one more to the list, there are some that will be very dominant because they want to tease you until the point you loose control and become somewhat of an *incredible sexual hulk* and then ravage them. 

In this case I would still say that the woman is dominant, because she knows exactly what it takes for her man to loose control so she can get what she wants!

So I'll add to the list *some are clever!*

Cheers, 
Badsanta


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

Order one of those 50 shades kits they have on A&Eve. They have all the soft nice, satiny stuff, that should be ok for you wife to use. Then, ask her to try them on you.

Research some light S&M books to read together. Have fun. Don't put too much pressure on her to comply, just seduce and lead her to it. >

You never know, you might have a dormant Dom, living inside her.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Tino28 said:


> is this a good idea I have always been in control, buy lately i am so turned by a being told what to do she has before. strap on play etc. do women like to be in charge. once we get going i love making love to here



All depends on the woman.

My wife Mrs.CuddleBug is passive and if I don't initiate, sex won't happen.

She likes it when I initiate because I am the aggressor type, lead, take charge and get things done.

Only one time in our 16 years of marriage did she really initiate and was amazing. I had bought her a small vibrator, she used it for the first time while I was at work, I came home and she was waiting for me naked in her housecoat. She took charge and we had sex everywhere, many positions and she even used the vibrator again and on me too. Best sex ever.

To get Mrs.CuddleBug in that type of a sexual mood is extremely difficult. It's not who she is.

If I go down on her, she always pulls me up and I force her arms to her sides and go down on her. She likes it, gets it into and will orgasm but this is what she does if I start to go down there......she wants it, but fights it.


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