# Wife has no need for sex after newly married



## xRadar (Jun 2, 2012)

Hello everyone,


Well I've finally had to dig deep and explain this to someone and hopefully you all have some advice for me. Here's the story:

-My wife and I have been together for almost 20 months and married for two months. Life has been very good other than the sex.

Currently for the past 4-5 months she has been coming off the birth control shot after it just messing with her period and constant bleeding. So, now she is off all birth control and is very happy about it (attitude is: "I get pregnant, I get pregnant", and that isn't a issue with me.) 

Now with those 5 months that has passed we have maybe had 'sex' 10 times but not actually made love and had a full connection, sometimes it felt empty and just 'get it over with'. I sat back and understood about the shot and the hormone issues, along with constant bleeding. I have given it more than enough grace time and tried to bring it up on many occasions to try to work things out and this is the response, "I just don't need sex, I have no interest in it. We have intimacy all the time." and that intimacy is when I sometimes get asked to come in the shower while she is shaving her legs or to cuddle in bed once a week.

It wasn't always like this, we used to have a very very healthy sexual relationship (4-5 times a week and multiple in a day or evening). I just don't understand if she got all messed up with the shot or if she is just bored and tired of me. Also, she hasn't put on a piece of lingerie in months. She mentions that she feels pressured to have sex with me and she just has no interest in sex but she doesn't want to be with anyone else. I'm at wits end on this. Oh, and she says when I talk about us having sex that I should just masturbate and satisfy myself...which I can't stand doing, i'm in a relationship with someone I love and I don't feel like fiddling with my junk.

Personally I work my tail off taking care of her (getting anything she needs or ask me to help with. Ex: get her water while in bed or other small task or get food, and if I said I am tired or no she gets all grumpy and mad. I work a full time job 40+ hrs a week from home and try to cook and clean and do laundry while working and managing our money. 


Summary: Wife and I haven't had sex regularly for almost 5 months and she states that she has no NEED for sex at all, yet she wants children (Pretty sure sex is needed for a child). Then, she just doesn't want me to be as loving and caring but if I pull away, it just keeps getting further and further away (She constantly ask for just her time and that I am around too much).

What do I do about my wife having no NEED for sex or desire? It's not like I am not trying to please her and care for her, I do the dinners and everything for her and pay the bills but it isn't ever enough. She just ask that I not talk about sex and she gets her wish but then it just goes for weeks and nothing changes. She states that if I would just stop talking about sex, it would happen more often. Yet, i've tried this for weeks on end and nothing happens till i'm just so frustrated I would just rather cry and beg. It's sick to feel like this when you love someone so much that you would do anything with your own blood, sweat and tears.

Sorry for the long rant and getting sidetracked, I hope some advice can come out of all of this. I desperately need some help on this or I just don't know if I can take it, I love her so dearly and I know she loves me too.


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## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

xRadar said:


> Hello everyone,
> 
> Summary: Wife and I haven't had sex regularly for almost 5 months and she states that she has no NEED for sex at all, yet she wants children (Pretty sure sex is needed for a child). Then, she just doesn't want me to be as loving and caring but if I pull away, it just keeps getting further and further away (She constantly ask for just her time and that I am around too much).
> 
> What do I do about my wife having no NEED for sex or desire? It's not like I am not trying to please her and care for her, I do the dinners and everything for her and pay the bills but it isn't ever enough. She just ask that I not talk about sex and she gets her wish but then it just goes for weeks and nothing changes.


She is well within her rights not to need sex, but then she can't expect to stay married. A healthy sex life is a basic need and is your right within marriage.

You need to make it clear to her that she is obliged to sort this out.


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## xRadar (Jun 2, 2012)

johnnycomelately said:


> She is well within her rights not to need sex, but then she can't stay married. A healthy sex life is a basic need and is your right within marriage.
> 
> You need to make it clear to her that she is obliged to sort this out.


But the question is...where did it go? It was a very healthy sexual relationship but it just disappeared. 

Well, she gets very angry when I bring up sex period even if it isn't to do with her but about me medically and she thinks it is always sexually related. 

How do I bring this up gently to her that she can't explode? I mean I literally get yelled at..."It's always about sex...why won't you just shut the *@&# up about it? I don't want to talk about it with you or a therapist or friends or anyone."

I want this marriage to work but there is problems if we are going to have a sexless or a 'do me' sexual relationship


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## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

xRadar said:


> But the question is...where did it go? It was a very healthy sexual relationship but it just disappeared.
> 
> Well, she gets very angry when I bring up sex period even if it isn't to do with her but about me medically and she thinks it is always sexually related.
> 
> ...


Of course you always talk about sex, you aren't getting any. If you hadn't slept in a week you would be obessesed with sleep.

I don't know where it went, but it has to be one of three things: emotional; psychological or physical.

She needs to talk to you if it is the first, talk to someone else if it is the second or talk to a doctor if it is the third.

She is not being fair on you, make that clear. Often low drive partners make out that sex is a luxury, it isn't it is vital for the well-being of your marriage. 

If you aren't having sex you are just roomates.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Get this book for you both to read. "His Needs, Her Needs". She is being controlling, just like a child won't eat veggies. She doesn't the understand what's she is doing to hurt marriage, and by your questions neither do you. It's on amazon...download it. See what a good marriage looks like. It's not rocket science. Best wishes to both of you


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

What does it matter where it went? It's gone, she has no interest in fixing it and now you need to decide if you're okay with it or not.

And the fact that she's yelling at you about it is really bad.


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## xRadar (Jun 2, 2012)

johnnycomelately said:


> Of course you always talk about sex, you aren't getting any. If you hadn't slept in a week you would be obessesed with sleep.
> 
> I don't know where it went, but it has to be one of three things: emotional; psychological or physical.
> 
> ...


I agree and she honestly jokes around and 'flirts'/touch (punch or tickle) our roommate which is like her brother, rather than me and it pisses me off and our roommate knows it and hates it as well. He just needs to stay because of finances and I can't kick him out.



anchorwatch said:


> Get this book for you both to read. "His Needs, Her Needs". She is being controlling, just like a child won't eat veggies. She doesn't the understand what's she is doing to hurt marriage, and by your questions neither do you. It's on amazon...download it. See what a good marriage looks like. It's not rocket science. Best wishes to both of you



Any other book recommendations? She loves to read and maybe if I read it she might get interested in what I am reading and ask but kinda believe she will get pissy when she sees what I am reading about. I know she loves and cares for me but she just doesn't realize that WE as a unit were not like that before and if things have changed on her end, we must re-evaluate things because she knew forever that sex in an important balance and if you want children but no interest in sex for procreation or pleasure or romance with your partner...something is wrong. 


But am I the cause of it or what?


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## xRadar (Jun 2, 2012)

Mavash. said:


> What does it matter where it went? It's gone, she has no interest in fixing it and now you need to decide if you're okay with it or not.
> 
> And the fact that she's yelling at you about it is really bad.


Well here is my thing that worries me...She always complains of being sick or something but I recommend she goes to the doctor but absolutely refuses and hates it. So do I give her the benefit of the doubt, which that is more my style and caring nature.

She just says she is sick of hearing about it. We talk about everything else under the sun and get it resolved quickly and no issues at all. We communicate very well other than the sex talk. I have never had any real knowledge of any abuse in her past or something...she has had some reoccurring dreams lately but no idea what about...I hate to make excuses but something doesn't piece together.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

What were you like when you were having sex frequently? I bet you didn't fetch and carry. Not that being nice to your spouse is a bad thing but too much service can decrease the sexual tension. 

I think you should try not to give more than you get from her. Cool things down a bit. Cut out the extras. It is not tit for tat that would be bad. It's giving her space to come to you to feel the need for you. Think of it like a rubber band between you. If you are always perusing her and never allowing any tension on the band, she loses attraction. 

If you give her the right kind of distance then that may break the cycle. What may have happened is that when she had the bleeding problem and sex was infrequent, you lost you premarital mojo and perhaps got anxious and needy. You stopped being the masterful confident guy she married. 

Does that sound plausible? If so, you need to break the cycle. You have to dispel the myth that sex is not important. The books in my signature may help, if she is willing to read and is emotionally healthy. 

If she does not agree with your correct view of sex and marriage, you may not be compatible after all. It may be kinder to let her go to find a man who feels as she does and will not bother her for sex. You can find a woman who has compatible values. 

You are at a critcle and difficult crossroads. It will be one of the most difficult decisions you will make. You love her and want her in your life but you may be miserable if this is a fixed notion for her. 

Don't decide without the help of a MC and with her participation so that she understands. I think if you take your time, pull out all the stops to make it work and keep her in the loop, the right thing to do will become obvious. Best of luck to you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

xRadar said:


> I agree and she honestly jokes around and 'flirts'/touch (punch or tickle) our roommate which is like her brother, rather than me and it pisses me off and our roommate knows it and hates it as well. He just needs to stay because of finances and I can't kick him out.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Not the cause, but not helping your cause yet.

Yes "The Five Love Languages", both books are easy reads and simple ideas. You will be surprised how easy. 

I also emphatically suggest you alone read *"Married Man's Sex Life"*, it's not a sex guide. It may help you with having a male room mate, she may be comparing you too. Be the man she wants.


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## xRadar (Jun 2, 2012)

Catherine602 said:


> What were you like when you were having sex frequently?
> *I worked 90hr + weeks and she had all the time she could want alone while I was working overnight but I was still around a lot.*I bet you didn't fetch and carry. Not that being nice to your spouse is a bad thing but too much service can decrease the sexual tension.
> 
> I think you should try not give more than you get. Cool things down a bit. Cut out the extras. It is not tit for tat that would be bad. It's giving her space to come to you to feel the need for you. Think of it like a rubber band between you. If you are always perusing her and never allowing any tension on the band, she loses attraction.
> ...




*Thank you. Great words. 

Above I have answered your questions in a different color.

Your signature didn't come through since you are posting from a mobile phone, can you please give me the names?*


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

xRadar said:


> I agree and she honestly jokes around and 'flirts'/touch (punch or tickle) our roommate which is like her brother, rather than me and it pisses me off and our roommate knows it and hates it as well. He just needs to stay because of finances and I can't kick him out.



Your roommate needs to tell her in no uncertain terms to keep her hands off of him.

Is she working and contributing financially to the household?

How old are the two of you?




xRadar said:


> Any other book recommendations? She loves to read and maybe if I read it she might get interested in what I am reading and ask but kinda believe she will get pissy when she sees what I am reading about. I know she loves and cares for me but she just doesn't realize that WE as a unit were not like that before and if things have changed on her end, we must re-evaluate things because she knew forever that sex in an important balance and if you want children but no interest in sex for procreation or pleasure or romance with your partner...something is wrong.
> 
> 
> But am I the cause of it or what?


Look at the links in my signature block below about building a passionate marriage (it's not just about sex, passion is about your entire marriage.)

Her lack of sexual desire is a symptom of either a physcial condition or an attitude. If she refuses to deal with this your marriage is doomed. You need to tell her that. Give her 3 months to go to a doctor, sex therapist is no medical condition is found, to read the books and change. If it's not significantly better in 3 months you might want to seriously consider ending your marriage. 

You need to read the books as well as they have things that both of you need to do. It works best if you read the books chapter by chapter, discuss them and do the work. Some couples lake turns reading a chapter aloud to the other.

What she is doing is serious emotional abuse.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Here's another book for you xRadar. It's not for your wife, but for you.

No More Mr Nice Guy

No More Mr. Nice Guy

It's not about being an ass, it's about not being a push over.


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## xRadar (Jun 2, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Your roommate needs to tell her in no uncertain terms to keep her hands off of him.
> 
> Is she working and contributing financially to the household?
> 
> ...


Well I am going to read the books myself, do you have a recommendations on where to purchase or obtain a copy of the epub files for Kindle?

I know it is abuse but there is love and care and I just feel in my gut that sometime deep down is not right either with her medically or a past emotional abuse, her long term relationship before me was all about sex and she's said that we have so much more than that relationship and she doesn't need sex because of that. I have always come back and said that it is a balance, yet sex isn't the base but it is something important in a healthy marriage.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

I agree with Catherine602, you can't beg. She sees that as weakness. She is definitively controlling you because you go along with it, and neither of you realize it. 

Here's the link to Athol Kay's site...this may explain some things too you.

Married Man Sex Life | How to have the marriage you thought you were going to have. By which I mean doing it like rabbits.[

Good luck, you have some work to do. You'll be better for it.


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

xRadar said:


> *Personally I work my tail off taking care of her* (getting anything she needs or ask me to help with. Ex: get her water while in bed or other small task or get food, and if I said I am tired or no she gets all grumpy and mad. I work a full time job 40+ hrs a week from home and try to cook and clean and do laundry while working and managing our money.


What? Here's all the counseling you need.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

xRadar said:


> Well I am going to read the books myself, do you have a recommendations on where to purchase or obtain a copy of the epub files for Kindle?
> 
> I know it is abuse but there is love and care and I just feel in my gut that sometime deep down is not right either with her medically or a past emotional abuse, her long term relationship before me was all about sex and she's said that we have so much more than that relationship and she doesn't need sex because of that. I have always come back and said that it is a balance, yet sex isn't the base but it is something important in a healthy marriage.


What she needs to understand is that sex very important to men as it is one of the main ways they express and receive love.

Whatever she is going through she needs to realize that she has to work with you on this. If she won't, are you willing to so a lifetime with little to no sex? That's the bottom line.


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## Mmommy1 (Jun 1, 2012)

I was on the shot for a year and I definitely lost my sex drive...though I still slept wits my husband whenever he wanted. I have been off the shot for 7 months and have just finally gotten my menstrual cycle back...my sex drive is improving but it is no where near what it was before the shot.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mishy (Mar 28, 2012)

xRadar said:


> Hello everyone,
> 
> 
> Well I've finally had to dig deep and explain this to someone and hopefully you all have some advice for me. Here's the story:
> ...


Hi,

I have been/I am in a similar situation except we are 10 years older than you guys.

My wife used to get all mad every time I was trying to talk to her about the lack of sex in our marriage. 
YOU need to stop that. Stand up for yourself. Same as the other things she "makes" you do for her. But most importantly stop doing things expecting something back.. Stop paying or doing more. Everything should be shared and balanced in the marriage.

I suggest you to read "no more mr. nice guy!" By Dr. Robert Glover.

The book helped me a lot.

It sounds to me that your wife is making up a lot of excuses to avoid sex and/or even talking about it.
Don't talk to her about sex anymore. Start working on yourself (exercize,get a haircut,buy stuff for yourself) instead.
It's going to be hard but you're young and strong .


Hope this helps!


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Ditto on "No More Mr. Nice Guy". Also the forums at No More Mr. Nice Guy Online Support Group - Powered by vBulletin 

Other book recommendations "5 Love Languages", "Getting the Love You Want", "Passionate Marriage".

Is she religious? Check out www.themarriagebed.com

Does she have any kind of sexual abuse or sexual assault history? Other abuse in her upbringing? Alcoholic parent? Parent with psychiatric problems (borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder, narcissistic personality disorder)?


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

Hi X

Kick out the room mate. You don't " NEED" him. He maybe helping out with money, but soon he will be helping out with your wife. 

Move to a cheaper place, cut back in bills like cable, switch to a cheaper phone company. Stop the shopping sprees. 

Get the other man out of your place. It dosent matter if he "appears" to be annoyed by her antics, it's just a front. If he hated the things she does and says, he would have cussed her out, stormed out while tossing you the key, or punched her lights out, while throwing the key in your general direction. 

When your competition is gone (yes he is, you just didn't know you were in one) your lives will resume back to normal. 

I will say it again: NO YOU DON'T NEED THE ROOM MATE. You have another man taking care of you and your wife. He is the alpha dog. He has to go. 

I could be off base here, but it's just my thoughts. It's the way I would think in this situation.


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

You cannot fix this situation with the roomate in your home. She is getting her sexual kicks from him rather than you.

Rather than diagnose her, the only thing you can really do is tell her you want a divorce. She was sexual with you when she thought it was required for marriage... Now she has marriage so she sees no need to be sexual... Therefore you need to make her understand that being sexual with you is a condtion for marriage.

And, please use condoms... Giving her a child will make your situation far far worse.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Whatever you do, DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN till this is sorted out, it will only get worse.

A compatible sex life is absolutely HUGE....never never underestimate it ...it may only be 10% of a marriage, but it will always & forever feel like 90% when there is a HD sufferer matched with LD who doesn't understand the need. ANd she talks to you like this >> "It's always about sex...why won't you just shut the *@&# up about it? I don't want to talk about it with you or a therapist or friends or anyone." This is despicable, demeaning & damning -she has put up an angry unpenetrable WALL. It needs taken down. 

She clearly needs to learn what she stands to loose!!


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Choosing celibacy, except as a means for procreation, is a choice. However, in a relationship it has to be a mutual choice, otherwise it can be extremely damaging.

I would hold off on having children, if I were you, and I'd get your wife to consider counselling with you.


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## Posse (Jan 30, 2012)

...


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## Posse (Jan 30, 2012)

aug said:


> What? Here's all the counseling you need.


OMG was that video funny!! It applies here too.

OP, you need to radically change the dynamics of your situation. 

What possible reason would she have to have sex with you if you let her flirt with your roomate and wait on her hand and foot? You are her husband, not her manservant. 

Why are you willing to accept such behavior from her? You need to establish boundaries for your life and relationship yesterday. Perhaps some IC could assist you in that.

I think she pulled a bait and switch on you. She got the ring and now thinks she can coast. So far, it seems to be working for her. That would be because you are allowing it.

You need to cowboy up and stop accepting such atrocious behavior.


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

xRadar said:


> But the question is...where did it go? It was a very healthy sexual relationship but it just disappeared.
> 
> Well, she gets very angry when I bring up sex period even if it isn't to do with her but about me medically and she thinks it is always sexually related.
> 
> ...



My $0.02,

The drive was never about you. It was either:

1) She wanted you to marry her and you would not without sex; she knew this and did what she had to do.

2) She herself was horny (maybe she had not had it in a while before you, or the thrill of a new partner was at play) but now she's over it.

This is not just about sex. She's sending a clear signal that she expects things to go her way; that she refuses to even see a therapist is a HUGE red flag. How will you ever compromise on other big issues like where to live or how to raise a family?

Another huge red flag is the hormonal BC issue. Before, when she was on it and having irregular bleeding, she was all over you. Now, being OFF the bc, is when she is not having sex? That's opposite to everything I've heard; I'd be suspicious.

If I were you, I would tell her that you expect sex at the same quantity and quality as before (or whatever it would take to meet your need). Then, you insist she (or you as a couple) get the professional help needed to overcome this issues. Finally, you make it clear that there will be no children at all until she is willing to make your needs and sensibilities a priority on par with her own (not just sexual, but all around).

She will then have to choose to play ball with you or move on to someone willing to coddle her. Either way, you are better off IMHO.


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## inmygut (Apr 2, 2011)

Pandakiss said:


> Hi X
> 
> Kick out the room mate. You don't " NEED" him. He maybe helping out with money, but soon he will be helping out with your wife.
> 
> ...


^^^This^^^^

She is attracted to the male roommate. Just a matter of time before he makes a move. How would she like a cute female roomier living with the two of you? I b
et she would hate that idea .
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

xRadar said:


> I agree and she honestly jokes around and 'flirts'/touch (punch or tickle) our roommate which is like her brother, rather than me and it pisses me off and our roommate knows it and hates it as well. He just needs to stay because of finances and I can't kick him out.
> 
> 
> But am I the cause of it or what?


OMG. Seriously? Dude, this is total fail.

How long has this guy been the 3rd man in your relationship?

He is not your wife's brother. He needs to go. Now. He is the dominant male in the home. He has your wife's interest and you cater to her which shows even lower value. 

You seriously spend long hours working and leaving her home alone with the roommate? I suspect they may already be having a PA. FWBs at the least. But if not yet this will happy pretty soon. She has unbonded with you and bonding with him.

She is attracted to him and may be sexually active with him.

I love Athol's 3 day rule for guests. Look it up on MMSL. It makes a valid point. Essentially you are showing low value by allowing this proximity. The fact she allows it is not good. In her case she is loving it.

Only with him out of the picture can you assess your relationship.

When did he enter the picture? Whose idea was it for him to live with you guys?


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## Aristotle (Apr 4, 2012)

Next time she asks you to get her a glass of water in bed, let her know you have no need to get water, ever. 

Next time she asks you to do anything that you do not want to do, let her know. 

Stand up for yourself because if she has a baby in THIS relationship, say goodbye to sex until she wants kid 2. 

Her telling you to masturbate is a huge slap in the face, and equivalent to you telling her to do everything she needs by herself. Don't be her doormat, the relationship is still young, fix it now. If she refuses to change, you married the wrong women. The classic bait and switch. Sex him good so he marries you, then show him who you really are after you are stuck. SHOW HER YOU ARE NOT STUCK AND WILL NEVER BE STUCK IN ANY RELATIONSHIP WHERE THE OTHER SPOUSE IGNORES YOUR PRIMAL NEEDS.


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## xRadar (Jun 2, 2012)

Everything thanks for all the advice. Honestly i've been VERY opposed of the roommate ordeal. She has been living with him for 3ish years when she moved in with him and his girlfriend at the time. 

Finally I am hearing the voice of reason to get rid of him and get that as a first start of this. 

I have always questioned her cheating on me with him and been scared of it from day one and never been okay with it. Thankfully I do know what all is going on in my home since I have all my work computers that monitor whom is around them and yes they are connected to literally every room to make sure no one touches sensitive work data (Reason I say this because I can hear EVERYTHING that is said in this home).

Now here is the funniest thing...I finally sat down and got angry and explained my needs after "No more Mr. Nice" and she was receptive to it and it almost seemed like she snapped and realized what she was doing to hurt me and that she never did actions back to me...now is this just a temp thing or perm realization, we won't know yet. We fought and finally had some clarity on it all and that she does need medical help with her lady bits and things and she wants to resolve it.

Her actions today: Gave me money to go do something for me today while she was working, wrote down a small list of things she is doing wrong and wants to change, also realizing that she has been hurting me and I just haven't had the 'balls' to call her out on it.

I truly believe for the moment she has seen the light but we will see in the coming months.

I really like the books, if anyone has them in epub and would share or lend, please let me know. PM me please


Thanks everyone again. I am not playing mr nice anymore, I have needs and as well does she. We are needing a healthy and balanced relationship.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

"Her actions today: Gave me money to go do something for me today while she was working, wrote down a small list of things she is doing wrong and wants to change, also realizing that she has been hurting me and I just haven't had the 'balls' to call her out on it." 

Seriously? The problem isn't that she's been a self-centered, uncaring, cruel bat but that you just weren't man enough to point out to another adult human being that she's supposed to treat the person she married with a smidge of human dignity and respect? So, your suffering was really just your fault.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Ok so she has been living with this guy longer than you have been living with her.

When did his GF leave? Was there ever a time that she lived with him only? 

Sounds like you ended up moving in with her and her roomate. 

Consider that your sex life may have started to go down hill when she and her roomtate started to get intimate. Probably a FWB situation. Hard to understand the timeline with information given. But for sure that have binded and have sexual tension at the least. Not good. Until he is gone you will have difficulty making meaning changes.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

xRadar said:


> But the question is...where did it go? It was a very healthy sexual relationship but it just disappeared.
> 
> Well, she gets very angry when I bring up sex period even if it isn't to do with her but about me medically and she thinks it is always sexually related.
> 
> ...


From a guy who is a few years down the line from where you are...the sex drive was never there. It was a rouse to keep you. Now that the ring is on the finger the perception is that you're no longer worth pleasing because there's no risk of you leaving.

Don't get her pregnant or you'll join the long list of the condemned....like me.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

I would bet $1,000 she's doing the roommate everytime you walk out the door. He's clearly the alpha male of the house. I'm half surprised he's not rubbing your nose in it yet from the way you sound.


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## MrsOldNews (Feb 22, 2012)

Hicks said:


> You cannot fix this situation with the roomate in your home. She is getting her sexual kicks from him rather than you.
> 
> Rather than diagnose her, the only thing you can really do is tell her you want a divorce. She was sexual with you when she thought it was required for marriage... Now she has marriage so she sees no need to be sexual... Therefore you need to make her understand that being sexual with you is a condtion for marriage.
> 
> And, please use condoms... Giving her a child will make your situation far far worse.


This exactly!! Also you better be the one putting on the condoms, this chick seems crazy enough to poke a hole in one to rope you in further if you threaten leaving.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Sorry but if she won't explore her issues to try and resolve them, do not have unprotected sex with her or you'll be starddled with child support for the next 21 years. Bringing a child into this will only make your issue worse.

I have one word for you Anullment


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