# How to introduce toys during sex



## Huzzah (Sep 11, 2013)

My wife and I have never used any sort of sex toys however I think I would like to open that door. Do I just have something waiting in the drawer next to the bed and whip it out in the heat of the moment or should we talk about it? And if I do purchase such a device, what should I get? 
I have a female friend who said that when her dude is pleasing her orally that they will also use a butt plug and he will slowly move it while he is doing his thing and that it drives her absolutely crazy. This of course made me curious. 
Any advice, especially advice based on experience, would be greatly appreciated. Any lovely ladies who would like to point me in the right direction based on their own experience would also be valued greatly.


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## kjm (Jan 8, 2011)

My wife swore she'd never use one. I got one anyway. As I recall I bought it online and it was one of those butterfly thingies. We discussed it and she let me use it on her. It took all of about half a second for her to change her mind. A few tips- get a variable speed. Faster isn't always better. Mine likes a lower frequency. Every woman is different. The Hitatchi comes with different heads and a variable speed drive (sounds like I am talking about industrial motors). It is expensive but batteries are a pain in the ass and they will die when you need them the most. I suspect my wife has worn batteries down on her own and then acted surprised when it died during sex. I recommend the butterfly thing. I don't remember what it is called but it is soft latex and has a butterfly shelf thingy that works directly on her outer parts with a bulbus thing that goes inside. Amazon has them. They're not more than $27. Once she has accepted that, then it will be easy for her to go to the store with you and get whatever you want or she might want to try.


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## kjm (Jan 8, 2011)

Oh, and another helpful hint. Use some lube on it. We prefer astroglide. There are others out there. It will go a long way to not rubbing blisters on parts you'd rather her not get blistered.


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## Huzzah (Sep 11, 2013)

kjm said:


> My wife swore she'd never use one. I got one anyway. As I recall I bought it online and it was one of those butterfly thingies. We discussed it and she let me use it on her. It took all of about half a second for her to change her mind. A few tips- get a variable speed. Faster isn't always better. Mine likes a lower frequency. Every woman is different. The Hitatchi comes with different heads and a variable speed drive (sounds like I am talking about industrial motors). It is expensive but batteries are a pain in the ass and they will die when you need them the most. I suspect my wife has worn batteries down on her own and then acted surprised when it died during sex. I recommend the butterfly thing. I don't remember what it is called but it is soft latex and has a butterfly shelf thingy that works directly on her outer parts with a bulbus thing that goes inside. Amazon has them. They're not more than $27. Once she has accepted that, then it will be easy for her to go to the store with you and get whatever you want or she might want to try.


It seems to me that said item would be something she would use in my absence. Am I mistaken? Is this something she would normally use on her own?


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

Not trying to steal the op thread but does anyone know if the rabbit vibes that thrust are any good?


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## bbdad (Feb 11, 2013)

My wife prefers the ones that the end twists...says it hits all of the right spots a lot better.


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

hum.......


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

kjm said:


> The Hitatchi comes with different heads and a variable speed drive (sounds like I am talking about industrial motors).


With the Hitachi, you ARE talking about an industrial motor. The only way it could get more industrial would be if it sported a kick starter.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

I bought a We Vibe in the last year to solve some necessary changes in our sexual mechanics. It's the only one the wife likes, and it does the trick and then some. 

It's not for everyone, though. You're competing for limited space in a tight spot. It's designed to accommodate that, but there are times when it interferes with my pleasure a bit. No complaints from the Mrs. since it lets her enjoy her simple tastes well into the future.


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## LadyDee (Oct 1, 2013)

Cletus said:


> I bought a We Vibe in the last year to solve some necessary changes in our sexual mechanics. It's the only one the wife likes, and it does the trick and then some.
> 
> It's not for everyone, though. You're competing for limited space in a tight spot. It's designed to accommodate that, but there are times when it interferes with my pleasure a bit. No complaints from the Mrs. since it lets her enjoy her simple tastes well into the future.


Cletus, Lelo just came out with something called the *IDA* which is something like the WeVibe and we were thinking about it, but now reading your comments about it interfering with your pleasure, I am not sure. Wonder if anyone else has any comments on this.

We have a rabbit, hitachi and a Lelo INA 2. I would say just buy something for her for Christmas, surprise her and HAVE FUN!!

Some of these toys you cannot use the Silicone lubes on them. Try Sliquid Organics/Silk, very nice lubes to go with these toys and the organics are Glycerin and Paraben-Free, orderless and tasteless. They have thinner or thicker formulas, you can check the toys and Sliquid out at

Adult Sex Toys by The Pleasure Chest - Vibrators, Dildos and Sex Toys


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Another tip: don't buy one at a garage sale.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

We started with a bullet vibe and a dildo. I was very squeamish at first and took H several tries before I was ready for the dildo. Then became a convert. We now have quite an assortment of toys that we keep packed in a small suitcase that is locked...this after my youngest, at age 5, handed me my dildo and wanted to know what it was. "A dog toy honey. But I had to take it away cause feel how soft it is, the dogs will chew right through it. Here, let me put that away so they don't get to it..."


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## H30 (Nov 23, 2013)

I say start with a simple vibe, like the egg vibes. I personally don't care for the rabbit ones, but I recently found a great dildo that feels more real than anything else I've tried.


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

H30 said:


> I say start with a simple vibe, like the egg vibes. I personally don't care for the rabbit ones, but I recently found a great dildo that feels more real than anything else I've tried.


Do tell


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

Amazon.com: California Exotics *NEW* Butterfly Kiss, Pink: Health & Personal Care

might want to check the reviews on this by the lady experts. You cant beat the price and it seems it does the job just fine.

I bought one for the Mrs and it has cut our quicky time in half. LOL


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## whathappenedtome (Nov 4, 2013)

If you aren't sure how to start, you may want to break the ice with some c*** rings. They are designed to be used together, and allow you to more easily have the "what else" conversation afterwards.


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## soulseer (Jul 26, 2013)

I've thought and fantasized of introducing a toy..

..the 'you will regret it comments' always make me pause to think how sh!tty it would be if dearest wife developed an enthusiastic toy fetish to my detriment.

I can only imagine trying to initiate a conversation with my wife about the 'new toy' ,her enthusiasm for it and our sudden lack of sex.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## where_are_we (May 24, 2013)

Surprise her!

Also, I have only ONE toy that vibrates and I do not use it a lot and only with him as he likes to feel my body vibrating. LOL.

I find that too much vibration can be numbing and then it doesn't happen or makes the regular stuff later not feel as good. No human body part can compete with that. But each to their own, everyone is different.

As someone else said, I also found a dildo that feels real. I can use that as much as I want and it doesn't impede my feeling when I have the real thing.


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

Don't just buy one and whip it out. Talk about it, look at many, and be prepared to buy some things that maybe you'll never use but the one time. These things are quite personal, in that I mean individual, because everyone's parts respond differently. 

I wouldn't worry one iota if she were to "get into it" more than you. That's just not possible. If she's HD and you're LD, maybe she'll use it to take some of the pressure off both of you. 

W and I talk about which ones to buy, what size, shape, features and whether it will work for both of us. It's not all about rattling the clit; there are so many other things you can do with one. Or two. Or three. You may want a drawer full next to your bed. 

I suggest water based lubes as well.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

How to introduce toys during sex:

"Toy, this is vagina. Vagina, toy. Now that you two know each other, go play and have a good time".


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## Huzzah (Sep 11, 2013)

Happyquest said:


> Amazon.com: California Exotics *NEW* Butterfly Kiss, Pink: Health & Personal Care
> 
> might want to check the reviews on this by the lady experts. You cant beat the price and it seems it does the job just fine.
> 
> I bought one for the Mrs and it has cut our quicky time in half. LOL


Thanks I am taking a look at the link now.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Has anyone tried a vibrating c0ckring?


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

I did years ago, did nothing much for me or wife, not strong enough vibration


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## whathappenedtome (Nov 4, 2013)

We have used vibrating c rings. My wife and I both LOVED it.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Thound said:


> Has anyone tried a vibrating c0ckring?


Yes. They're not as good as the We Vibe for effect, but better than nothing. We have one with a remote and several modes.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

Even though we not into toys, I can understand why women would use them if their H/partner is not available and they just got to have an orgasm.

But Men, why do you like your women to use toys if front of you? What do you get out of it? 

women, why do you like using toys with your H/partner right there if you can get fantastic O from your H/partner?

Do you consider toys making love/having sex?

Just curious.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

committed4ever said:


> Even though we not into toys, I can understand why women would use them if their H/partner is not available and they just got to have an orgasm.
> 
> But Men, why do you like your women to use toys if front of you? What do you get out of it?
> 
> ...


It is a major turn on for both of us when I give him a show, me and my toy. If you have to ask what all the fuss is about then I would guess it just isn't for you.
He is super visual and the look he gets on his face while he watches me is without comparison.

Yes using toys for us is just another part of our sex lives, we consider using toys is having sex just as masturbation is a part of our sex life and included in our love making.

OP my suggestion is to not surprise her unless you know her well enough and have a good sex life already. A LD woman would possibly not react well with no prior discussion.

Mr H and I go to the sex shop together to look at and buy toys. It is a fun day out and always leads to sex when we get home.


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