# Warming Massage Oil...owowowowoww



## Crypsys (Apr 22, 2010)

Last night the Mrs. called me on the way home to pick up more massage oil because we were out. I stopped by the store and they were out of our normal vanilla personal safe massage oil. I grabbed a bottle that looked okay (KY Warming personal safe massage oil).

So later that night I start using it and she's liking the warming effect it gives. After the massage starts winding down, I start massaging other parts of her body. She starts squirming and I think to myself (Wow, your doing a good job tonite Don Juan!!). She says it's kind of burning her and it doesn't feel all that great. So, I go from fingers to using my mouth. About 30 seconds into it i'm thinking (Holy crap, did she just shove a frickin Habanero pepper in there) because my mouth was BURNING. 

I try and give it that 'ol college try but after a time it just hurts too bad. I pull up and my wife looks at me and says "Holy crap baby, are you okay!?" and she's looking at me with a concerned look. I tell her I'm hurting pretty badly and we go into the bathroom. I look into the mirror and my lips and tongue were swollen to about twice their normal size. After downing a bunch of Benadryl a few hours later the swelling finally went down.

So a warning to you Don Juan's out there. Test that crap out before using it!!! We are laughing about it now, but I sure as heck don't want to go through that again.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)




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## PeasNCarrots (Apr 5, 2010)

OMG!!!!! Im about to wet my pants sitting here reading this one!!!! Wow my imagination went wild there...... I was seeing the flames coming off your lips! TY I needed a good laugh tonight..... BTW TY also for the advice... I have a bottle on my headboard....


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Heard the same story about spermicides - couples jumping in the shower screaming, "ooo. . .ahhh. . .ahhh. . .ouch!"


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## bumpgrind1 (Mar 29, 2010)

Ahh, years ago the wife and I were enjoying some leftover pizza in bed while we watched tv. The pizza was cold and I'd dashed a bit of Tobasco sauce on it to liven it up. A bit later I decided to have some "dessert" and as I buried my face into some fresh hot "Pie" she screamed all the way into the bathtub. 
That was almost as bad as when she was going to let me pull out the stitches after the first baby...Ya' gotta" snip the knots off before you do the quick yank thing.


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## Crypsys (Apr 22, 2010)

No problem PeasNCarrots!

lol, ouch bumpgrind1!! I've gone to the restroom once after eating way too many hotwings and I forgot to wash my hands first. Lets just say atomic hot wing sauce on your manhood does not make one happy...


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