# Old flame or old friend???



## anguila (Nov 1, 2010)

Well I don’t know we should I start; I know my marriage has a lot of problems, but it have always think that we can solve them, and that they are a result of my husband being reassign in his job to another city (3 years ago)..
What I’m writing you it´s because I can’t take out of my head a friend from college (12 years ago) we are going to call him Edy… when I was in college I had a boyfriend and I always knew form third persons that he was interested in me, and he never told me anything until one night that we had a pregraduation party , I had drank a little bit, and I allow him to hugged me because it was really cold and we hold hands, I felt I little overwhelmed because he was so intense, we didn´t kissed, even I wanted, because I felt that wouldn’t be right for my boyfriend, at that time, even if the relationship wasn´t working, we broke up about 1 month from there…
The point is we graduated, I went to another city to make my postgraduate studies, and we I can´t back I found out that he had gotten pregnant his girlfriend and had to marry her, and never saw him, and even think of him … He lived in the city I went for college buy I live in another that is like 3 hours away…
I got into one relationship and then met my husband and move more than 1200 miles away for work… about 3 or 4 months ago the ex that I just to have in college contacted me, and that may me wonder what happened to Edy.. I googled him and found out a little information about him, but didn’t contact him….

But my surprised was the following, in the city that I live right know (1200 miles away from where we met and he is) I went to a restaurant and spotted in a table another guy from college that I knew lived here and stop to say hi, and one of the guys who he was sitting turn out to be Edy, he looked very handsome I guess more than I remember, and had move here with his family one month before, we exchange our contact information.
Even do, that just seeing him, made bring up a lot of memories and wonder what could have happened… we have sent each other very few friendly emails or msm, and I invited him and his family (which is beautiful) to my baby b-party, and they went, I didn’t have the opportunity to speak more than hello, thanks for coming, you need something to them. 
Last weekend he send me another text to my cel, what it was weird it that he sent it on a weekend that his family was away, and didn’t ask anything directly, or dint I respond, he only said some drinks could relax me, cause I was a little stress and that he could help me with a bottle , and that he was going to a restaurant with another friend that a I was welcome to go; even do I wanted I didn’t have anyone to watch my kind, so I told him that I couldn’t.

The point is that I can’t stop thinking of him, I keep seeing the emails we have exchange trying to find hidden words… and don’t know if he just being friendly or else…I keep thinking of ways of contacting him, as if it is casual… but I’m afraid to take another step…
I don’t know why I have to find Edy at restaurant in one of the biggest and most populated cities of the world, from which neither of us are…
There´s one more thing , I really will like them to be our friends, because living in a city that far away from your family, friends become one…
I just need it to share it with someone and take it out of my chest, and I feel better already. Thanks


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

He's married and has a family. Get over him. I know it isn't that simple but it's what you have to do.


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## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

I agree with Chris here, you may be thinking too deep into what's going on. He's married... you are married. Look we've all be there, some person from your past pops up out of nowhere showing you attention is a shot in the arm to your ego. But at what costs do you go any further? What do you want from this guy in both of your present conditions??? Quick affair? Sure, we know that will end well - heavy sarcasm -

I say tread carefully, him inviting you out to drinks... to me if i was your husband, i'd have issue with that. With the way you feel about him, you could of easily found yourself underneath him that night. And then you'd be taking a cue from the Jamie Foxx song, "Blame it on the Alchohol.." U gotta trying to ascertain his motives as well. I've been married for 11 years and have never invited another woman single or married out to drink with me. 

Be careful.


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## lobokies (Sep 7, 2010)

be careful lady ... 

once you slips, you will know it


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## anguila (Nov 1, 2010)

Thanks for your replies, and I know ego has a lot to do with it as Rob said. I´m aware of the situation, precisely that was the reason why I decided to post it because I know it´s not proper to be thinking about him… and I just needed to take it out of my chest and share with someone else… 

I don’t know if he´s only looking for a friend and I’m misinterpreting him…. Because when you just come to these city what everyone does is to hold down to anyone you know before, even if they were you closest friend, this city is around 600 square miles and live more of 21 million people, and I can believe we saw each other and that we both live and work in a radar of about only 7 miles, our works are walking distance, I can see his office from where I work.


One more thing I have always believe that when you´re in a relationship and allow yourself to think about other persons, that means that there are issues you´re relationship… and I know that this is what it could be happening.


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## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

anguila said:


> Thanks for your replies, and I know ego has a lot to do with it as Rob said. I´m aware of the situation, precisely that was the reason why I decided to post it because I know it´s not proper to be thinking about him… and I just needed to take it out of my chest and share with someone else…
> 
> I don’t know if he´s only looking for a friend and I’m misinterpreting him…. Because when you just come to these city what everyone does is to hold down to anyone you know before, even if they were you closest friend, this city is around 600 square miles and live more of 21 million people, and I can believe we saw each other and that we both live and work in a radar of about only 7 miles, our works are walking distance, I can see his office from where I work.
> 
> ...


There's thinking about other people and then there's fantasizing about other people. The former is commen, the latter is when you may have issues. Sounds like to me you are convincing yourself how easy this can all be.:scratchhead:

Once again, be careful....


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