# i am depress after 10 years



## jatherinesa (Jul 14, 2010)

We met each other in the Uni. We were date for 4 years before get married. i married him because i believe that he is a tuff guy. he love his family member so much. thus he will definately be a very good husband. 

However, i was dissapointed after i married him for 3 weeks. I request that he accompany me back my my hometown, but he refused because he had agreed to fetch someone to a gethering. I was so angry. in the end he apologised and bought me a bucket of flower. that was the last time he bought flower for me.

8 years ago he resigned from his prefessional job and became an insurance agent. i did not agree but he go ahead with his big dream. Then he started to came back last every night and even make appionment during weekend. When i was pregnant with my first baby, most of the time a was alone. i even drove back to my hometown when i was pregnant for 7 months.


Our relationship becamce worst when he request his mother to take care of our baby and stay with us. 

However, i try to buit up good relationship with his mother and him. I have give in a lot. Whenever i quarrel with him, i will alywas be the one who make the frrst move to maintain the relationship. 

then we bought a bigger house last year. He always show his tempered to me during renovation period. I do not know his reason. i paid for the downpayment and renovation costs. Because he told me that he is very stress as he has no money for the renovation. i told him that i will bear 100% of the costs. 

However, i do not expect him to ask for a cheque which the amount is not more than RM1000. Then he scolded me and said that i gave him empty promises. That night we went out for dinner with his family member, he fight with his family member and he insist that he oay the bill. I was very upset.

when i ask him to buy a bed for our daughter, he just keep quite. i know he refuse to buy. then i bought it. 


when we went shopping, he always expect me to pay the bill.
he will stand very far away when choose my cloth. i think he worry that i ask him to pay the bill.

I am a working mother, he did not like to so housework. I have to take care of 2 kids after works as he will always come back around 10 pm. i was very tired. then i hired a maid. However, his mother refuse to train the maid. i got to train the maid. i know of i dont hire a mid , i will become the maid and i wont have time to teach my children.

After we move in to the new house, things become worst when the sister come to my house almist everyday. she even bring guest to my house without informing me durng weekend. 

thus i send a sms to his sister informing her that i need privacy, she show it to him and cry. then he also cry and scolded me. 

I never cry and ignore me when i cry. i can feel the different and how importnat is his sister to him. 

we made a room as his office, he hang his family photo right in the most obvious place. he hang our photo at a corner. thus i realise that after 10 years, i am nothing in his heart. His family, his mother and his sister more important than me.


My relation ship with his mother turn bad when i was pregnant with my 2nd baby. she refuse to help me when i was pregnant and not feeling well. it is ok. when i am sick and tired, i dont take MC because she will just sleep and i have to take care my my kids when im am on MC.


I am stress. when i did not pay the house installment i have to 
pay. he will just tell me that, he has no money. but in fornt of his friends and family member, he pretend that he is so financially sound.


I am depress now. am hand is shaking and i do not know what to do with this relationship and I know that he wont take initiative to talk to me. i want to divorce. our relationship is totally not importnat to him. but i am worry about the kids. they need a complete family to grow up.
i feel like running away from him. i am more depress when i see his "long face".

What shall i do???????!!!!!


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## Susan2010 (Apr 19, 2010)

Ask him to leave.


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## stumblealong (Jun 30, 2010)

Susan2010 said:


> Ask him to leave.


:iagree:

I understand wanting to stay for the kids, that is what is hindering my own decision to 'stay or go'. But,he sounds like he is just using you, and that is NOT right. I'm sure your children would want you to be happy and this situation does not sound like it is going to get better, he is all about himself. YOU deserve to be happy and have someone that will truly love you.

I know you are hurting, and as far as i can tell from your post, it doesn't sound as if he is going to change. Also, sounds like you can stand on your own 2 feet financially, take your children and your money and make a happy life for yourself. I know easier said than done, but i think it would be worth it in the long run.

Best wishes to you
-stumble


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