# Why would he delete my facebook messages?



## Rugs (Apr 12, 2013)

Ok guys, I'm irritated and need your opinion. 

This guy and I dated 26 years ago. 

HE friended ME on facebook. NEITHER of us are married so their shouldn't be any secrecy. 

We don't want to date and we live across the country. 

Messages are friendly, upbeat, non-sexual, and maybe once every three months. 

I can tell by my IPAD that he deletes my message after a few days and it bugs me. 

I don't care if this sounds childish, I just want to know why someone would delete messages after a few days. 

HE writes me. I'm not a stalker. 

Why?


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## wise (Sep 1, 2013)

He is either (a) seeing someone else and not telling you or (b) talking to so many different people, he deletes messages after a couple days. 

Who cares?


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## Rugs (Apr 12, 2013)

wise said:


> He is either (a) seeing someone else and not telling you or (b) talking to so many different people, he deletes messages after a couple days.
> 
> Who cares?


I do.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Well you're getting worked up for nothing but just my two cents


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening Rugs
It may just be his way to manage lots of conversations. Unless there is something else going on, this doesn't seem strange to me.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

My husband doesn't trust any digital media and is very circumspect about what he writes even on Facebook. I think you're making a mountain out of a molehill here.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

It could be that he's just finds it easier to not have a lot messages to manage. Or maybe he's OCD.

Some people do not keep everything forever.


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## Kylie84 (May 4, 2012)

Facebook messages just keep rolling on- you never run out of room like you do an inbox on your mobile phone.
My thoughts is that he is actually seeing someone whom he does not want finding out he is talking to an ex. Or he is just weirdly super anal and likes his FB messages 'cleaned up' which again would be very strange.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

When I was using that vile form of social media I deleted all my messages after a day or 2. Everything.

I don't see a huge issue here especially if you don't want to date him and the nature of your conversation are mundane and non sexual.


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## dormant (Apr 3, 2012)

I am one that likes to keep things neat. I no longer do Facebook, but when I did, I kept my older messages cleaned out. Just the way I am. He may be the same.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)




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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Ask him. Only he knows why.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I wrote the explanation but deleted it


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Wolf1974 said:


> View attachment 29074





Almostrecovered said:


> I wrote the explanation but deleted it


:rofl:

You guys crack me up! lol


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Yet another problem/worry/concern caused by giving Facebook far too much power and importance over our lives.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

samyeagar said:


> Yet another problem/worry/concern caused by giving Facebook far too much power and importance over our lives.


this could happen simply with e-mail.

Every new step in communications technology comes with its own set of behavioral expectations. I still remember all the weird behavior associated with answering machines (the precursor to voicemail)

For example,
1. there were some who would never leave a message, but then still be pissed off that they couldn't reach that person.
2. there would be people who would accuse you of screening the incoming messages..... even if they were one of the chosen few.
3. there were some who would purposely call when they knew you would not be home (like during the hours of 9 to 5 when they know that you have a normal full time office job) so that you have to pay for returning the call. (that was a big deal on the east coast where 20 miles away could be a long distance phone call).

There might be more that I can think of........

Facebook is not unique in helping people to create non problems.....


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

Reason #1. He's got someone there who he does not want to know what he's doing. 

Reason #2. He likes an uncluttered mailbox/msgs. FB, Smartphone, email, everywhere. Digital trash is distracting.

Reason #3. He has a photographic memory. 


IMO, #1 would be most likely.


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## dormant (Apr 3, 2012)

Like another poster suggested, asking him is your best bet.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

How do you know he deleted them? Meaning you commented/posted on his public page, and then he deleted the message? Or you sent him a Facebook IM and he deleted it?

Anyway before I ended up here for my own issues, I used to delete everything. Emails, IMs, texts. I have read the message. I am done with the message. I delete the message. Nice and clean inbox now.

I agree with others - he probably doesn't want someone else seeing it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Umm, how can an iPad give you magical powers to see if another person deleted private messages in a Facebook convo?


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## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

I delete all my text messages and my facebook messages all the time, including the ones from my husband.

I have a bit OCD and don't want hundreds piling up. And also I'd hate for someone to hack my phone or facebook and be able to read all my personal details. 

Or what about when niece plays with my phone. I surely don't want her reading all about my sexual life.

You're way over thinking this.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

i think everyone has different preferences. If it is an email, and not spam, i almost never delete it. If it is some sort of text stuff, i delete them all the time, just so it is easy to scan the recent mesages without tons of them in there. I like the feeling that "i read that, and it was dealt with" -- not needing to be reminded of whatever the message was.


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## Abc123wife (Sep 18, 2013)

jaquen said:


> Umm, how can an iPad give you magical powers to see if another person deleted private messages in a Facebook convo?


I was wondering this too. I use an ipad and I am curious how I can see who has deleted messages. I did not know that was possible.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

Abc123wife said:


> I was wondering this too. I use an ipad and I am curious how I can see who has deleted messages. I did not know that was possible.


I'm glad someone else brought it up too. I'm fairly tech savvy but only recently just purchased my iPad. I don't want other people knowing what I do with my messages.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

sinnister said:


> I'm glad someone else brought it up too. I'm fairly tech savvy but only recently just purchased my iPad. I don't want other people knowing what I do with my messages.


this also akin to those who believe that they can see their ex "cyberstalking" them on Facebook. 

Every time I see a post like that, I always ask, could you tell me how to see who has looked at my Facebook profile. I am still waiting for an answer.

Granted, there are some social media sites that will tell you who is viewing your profile, LinkedIn is one of them, but as far as I have read, Facebook is not.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Q tip said:


> Reason #1. He's got someone there who he does not want to know what he's doing.
> 
> *Reason #2. He likes an uncluttered mailbox/msgs. FB, Smartphone, email, everywhere. Digital trash is distracting.*
> 
> ...



I vote for reason #2.

My ipad is used by multiple people in the house, including teens.

Privacy for even routine communications is where I'm going with this.


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## changedbeliefs (Jun 13, 2014)

Another vote for Q tip's #2: I don't keep emails, texts, FB msgs, whatever....once they've been addressed. If it doesn't contain an address I need, or date reminder, or whatever, I don't keep it. I don't care if my Gmail box can hold 20GB, or the Cloud is big enough....I just don't like having all that clutter. I think it encourages a scattered mind, to just "archive" stuff and have it linger around forever, like you can just go search if you need it, and end up buried in gigs of data.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

i guess it depends on what type of a person/mind you have. Apparently some cheaters DO leave months/years of text messages on various online sites. Maybe they get a sexual thrill reading them over and over? Maybe just a little thrill from the possibility of them getting caught? 

But a many people do not want to rehash old messages! read them and move on with life.


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