# I can't trust him; he can't trust me



## k.m (May 18, 2009)

Just here to vent...

I won't go into details but, over the 24 years that we've been together, my husband's done MUCH to destroy my trust in him (or ability to trust him in the future).

Sadly, it appears that I've broken a trust with him, too. I've become an "overreactor" - since so many things he's told me (or more likely, I have found out and confronted him on) have been stupid, or bad, or dangerous, or scary -- I tend to overreact to EVERYTHING he tells me. 

Today, he started to tell me a story about something a friend of his did that ticked him off. He stopped, mid-sentence, said "Never mind" and walked away.

It was rude.

But I know it was because he WANTED to tell me (to share with me), but he knew I'd get mad, or side with the friend, or act like I thought he was being dumb -- because that's the reaction that so many of his stories (justifiably) elicit from me.

But it made me sad to realize that he feels he can't share with me. One more wedge between us, and this one's my fault.


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## foolz1 (Sep 5, 2009)

Once trust is destroyed in a relationship, it is very hard to gain it back. Maybe both of you could agree to try your best to be more kind, respectful and compassionate with each other, instead of being disrespectful, hateful and rude. If your marriage isn't in complete ruins, it couldn't hurt to try, that is, if you really want to salvage it. Good luck!


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## mae (Aug 17, 2009)

I've found that once trust is broken it does take a while to get it back, but as long as you don't continue doing the things that broke the trust, you should actually be able to get it back (though it may take a while depending on how badly the trust was broken). If you don't keep doing those things but you still can't get the trust back, there's something else wrong with the relationship.


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## optimistvik (Aug 4, 2009)

Trust is very important in a relationship but if its broken once it will be very difficult to bring it back. here both of you has done something to break it. it will take time for that trust to be built again till that time it will be like this only.


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