# What skills do you think children need to be taught



## StarTrekFan (Aug 15, 2012)

I have two kids 8 & 4 and I have been thinking a lot lately about what skills they need to have before they leave my house. I am curious to know what other parents think are important skills kids should have before they leave their house?

I have made a small biased list, which are either the skills I have or the skills I wish I had. The following are what I can think of right now

*Swimming*...Pretty obvious why this is important, it could end up saving one's own life or someone else's life. It's also one I don't have

*Music*...Either singing if the child is talented or basic competency with one musical instrument. 

*Martial Arts*...Good for both mind and body and also provides a structured practice to set goals and pursue them.

*Investing*... Investing in stocks & bonds. This is something I feel very strongly about that children should learn before they turn 18. I am not talking about day trading of stocks, but specifically retirement investing. Retirement investing is not that hard to learn. I did not learn this until I was in my mid 30's and regret it.

*Programming*...Again it's one of my biases because I am one myself. 

So I am curious to know what are the skills you guys teach your kids or wish they knew.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Self-discipline, time management, money management, conflict resolution, basic housekeeping and home management, basic vehicle maintenance, basic education, citizenship, sound work ethic, basic first aid, firearm safety, fire safety, map reading, manners.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

unbelievable said:


> Self-discipline, time management, money management, conflict resolution, basic housekeeping and home management, basic vehicle maintenance, basic education, citizenship, sound work ethic, basic first aid, firearm safety, fire safety, map reading, manners.


:iagree:

To it, let me add some of my own:

a basic waltz
correct use of all the tableware at a formal place-setting
public speaking
teamwork

And all this goes for children of both genders.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

In addition to practical life skills like many of those unbelievable listed, success and happiness depend greatly on curiosity, independent thinking, persistence, problem solving skills, and negotiating skills. I also like your list, OP, for specific skills that can foster some of the others.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Rowan said:


> :iagree:
> 
> To it, let me add some of my own:
> 
> ...


The table manners... so important and so over looked! My daughter's BF holds his hand covering his mouth so he can talk with food in his mouth. Ugh, just shut up until you swallow dude!


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## Boottothehead (Sep 3, 2013)

I'll add to the list how to entertain themselves without a TV/phone/gaming device. I'm worried that our daughter is going to become a little zombie, so we've limited all screen activity to two hours a day on weekends. We want her to spend time with real people, doing things outside, or using her imagination. She spent one afternoon building a fort for the dog out of an appliance box and then spent the next day decorating it. It was pretty entertaining for her and for us to watch!


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

No matter what extracurricular activity I let my sons be involved in or what demands are placed on them at school, there are three things (in order but all three important) that I emphasize:

1. *Show up on time*

2. *Be teachable as well as ability to perform the "ritualistic" tasks without being told.*

3. *Understand how to get along with others in the group - team player*

And having said that, it makes the job all that much harder with my oldest son who is ASD, Ugh. 

Probably not as much skills as they are life lessons since we all seem to be gifted in different ways.


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## Akinaura (Dec 6, 2011)

unbelievable said:


> Self-discipline, time management, money management, conflict resolution, basic housekeeping and home management, basic vehicle maintenance, basic education, citizenship, sound work ethic, basic first aid, firearm safety, fire safety, map reading, manners.


:iagree:

I'd add in the ability to think for oneself. Not to "follow the herd" on whatever's trendy for the moment. Respect for elders is another key one. Using "Mr/Mrs/Ms" isn't being formal, it's basic respect that another person has lived longer than you and has wisdom to share.


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## girl friday (Jan 14, 2012)

I'd add the word respect. For yourself and everyone around you. Something I find very lacking out there today.


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## Sanity (Mar 7, 2011)

On top of all the great suggestions above I think its very important to teach your kids to really have a giving heart but to be careful and recognized that some people are just scum of the earth and deserve nothing and will take everything.

So basically my son I hope will learn by the time he is 18 all the above plus:

1. Mental illness symptoms and how to avoid picking a partner with these issues.

2. Have enough self respect to walk away from a toxic friendship/marriage.

3. Strive to NEVER be in front of a judge.


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## Gomerpyle (Dec 27, 2013)

Ours are pretty young and one of the things we are trying to teach them is about bad people. They have a really hard time understanding why there are bad people, but the top priority is kid-snatchers, pedophiles and the like both in positions of trust or predators prowling the streets. The older one has been trained to scream for help, to bite, but to always be in a position where he can see a protective trusted adult. 

A lesser threat is bullies, and it includes not just the playground bully but socially sanctioned bullying.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

This is a great topic.

I feel it's not skills but character traits.

Empathy
Sympathy
selflessness
generosity
forgiveness
humor
contentment


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

- Reading and writing - you can't believe how easier school becomes if you don't have to fight the alphabet.

- Art, not necessarily creating, but understanding what it's all about.

- Music 

- Photography (older)

- Time Management

- Picking friends (thereoughta be a class)


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

unbelievable said:


> Self-discipline, time management, money management, conflict resolution, basic housekeeping and home management, basic vehicle maintenance, basic education, citizenship, sound work ethic, basic first aid, firearm safety, fire safety, map reading, manners.


You are very wise and get it:iagree::iagree:


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Cooking!


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## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

Critical thinking and cultural literacy.


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## Pault (Aug 15, 2012)

In my opinion youve looked at light weight skills. i.e.programming??

In any childs life they need (as some have said already) self discipline but they need
Communication skills - many young people and more that have moved in to the adult world cannot string a reasonable conversation together unless its via an xbox interface.
They need to be able to not just talk but use reasonable written skills as well. Thats not just being able to spell but use correct language (not text speak) so tha they can read and pass on information

They need to be able to take numbers and use these in eveyday situations. You would be shocked to see how many I come across that cannot work out simple number problems without their phone. 

Yes they need good across the range IT skills - that is almost a given these days

Problem solving. The amount of people who have simple problems in everyday life and cannot sort out simple issues. Unless its part of a computer game they are dead in the water. Thats also very true about simple relationship issues like treating people with basic respect.

Team work - One of the most important. Many moons ago children played outside, they were involved in al sorts of games and banter. Now most will only have a team work situation when they are on line.

Self development - So many young people fall in to the trap of thinking the world owes them. Wrong, loke most they have to learn and develop both in domestic and employement roles. they need to know how to learn, how to identify whats needed and what support/education is out there waiting for them beside Google
Simply listing what is required of them and tehn what they know about how to achieve a task for many is like something out of science fiction.

Basic home economics - how to care for themselves - cook, clean and manage money i.e. what are loans what is credit what is a mortgage.


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## Microwavelove (Sep 11, 2013)

Cleaning and organizing

Sewing, cooking, shop-- all of the basic home ec types of things. I really wish that they were still teaching all of that when I was in school because I didn't know how to do any of it when I first got out on my own. You save so much more in life just knowing how to do those practical things yourself.

Along with investing, just basic budgeting and saving and financial management. 

Car care-- how to change a tire, how often to get oil changed, etc.

Sexual responsibility-- not just birth control vs. abstinence, but more broadly how to be sexually responsible and value him/herself in relationships. 

Self care-- Making taking care of yourself physically, spiritually, emotionally a priority and when to seek help.


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## skype (Sep 25, 2013)

Resilience:

The power or ability to return to the original form, position, etc., after being bent, compressed, or stretched; elasticity. 

The ability to recover readily from illness, depression, adversity, or the like; buoyancy.


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## married tech (Jan 18, 2014)

Just look around you at all the people you deal with in a year, Family, Friends, Coworkers, social interactions and take account of every 'F' up you meet. 
Then from that figure that whatever skill set they lack that makes them an 'F' up is something you need to teach your kids have reasonable proficiency in.


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## MSP (Feb 9, 2012)

Here is an excerpt from a letter I wrote to my daughter when I believed I was about to die. 

By the way, I'm gonna take another break from TAM for a while. I've had a bit of a crisis of faith recently and it's come to a head; I need to go away and work through it. See you, guys. 



Live without hesitation. There is a time for caution, but when you need to act, act. Never act as though you are rehearsing. Live to the fullest and be yourself at all times.

Seek peace through being peaceful. You will never achieve peace by striving for it.

Enjoy adventure. Always wonder what is around the corner and then go and find out.

Love everyone. There is never a true reason not to. Love is not deserved; that is friendship. Love is an unjustified choice to make someone else's life better.

Learn from everyone. You will never know so much that you can stop learning from others. Even when you know a million things about your topic and you meet a person who knows just one thing, that one thing might be the one thing you have not yet learned. 

Life is not about you. Even your own life is not about you, because you were created for God's pleasure. If you live your life for God you will achieve a fulfilment that you will never find by living for yourself.

Love nature. There is no substitute for the recharge you get when in nature.

To motivate yourself to do anything, incorporate whatever you like in life into that thing. For instance, if you want to jog regularly and you like to be social, jog with a friend. If you want to jog and you like music, listen while you jog. And so on.

There are many things that people want in life, but most of them can be boiled down to these things: people want to feel special for who they are and what they have done, people want to feel connected to others, people want benevolent leadership.

Men are meant to lead; women are meant to support their men. This is a truth that has been lost in modern society, but is a secret to successful relationships.

Write down your goals, both for long and short term. Do not strive to achieve them, though. Allow life to carry you to them.

Be bold. Boldness is action in the face of fear. Fear is the opposite of faith and peace. Boldness actually leads to peace and joy.

Submit to God. It works.

Eat food that is as fresh as possible. Avoid processed foods. Eat a wide variety of vegetables. Eat some meat, if it is free of artificial additives and contaminants.

The chief goal for businesses is to make money, not to supply you with a better life. This is true of government, education, and healthcare as well, because they are all just businesses. Avoid paranoia, but always consider what they stand to gain when people accept what they say. They only ever do anything for their own financial benefit.

Enjoy physical activity. That way you will be fit without really trying.

Patience is a winning strategy.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Power tool and hand tool skills. Nothing like dropping my teenager daughter to college with about 100 lb of power and hand tools and no instructions or skills how to use them.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

How to keep oneself safe.

How to determine if someone is mentally unstable. 

Road safety (whether they'll be driving, riding bike, walking, passenger.)

First Aid and CPR

Laundry/Clothing Maintenance
Cooking
Hygiene of Self and Home
Health Care (Preventive/Maintenance/Illness/Injury)

Travel, passports, visas, issues Americans have abroad

Finances/Math

Foreign Languages (a couple at least besides English)

Sex 
Relationships
Self Esteem

Job Skills: Customer Relations, Privacy Rules and Regulations, Taxes and Benefits, Workplace Safety and Other Rules (sexual harassment, amount of breaks required, etc.) along with Computer Skills (Excel, Word, PowerPoint, Database...) Maybe data analytical programming (basics of) and statistics.

Writing and Communication
Critical Reading

History and Politics
Electoral System

Declaration of Human Rights

Self Defense

Laws and Justice System (Bail, Mirandas, etc.)

Drugs and Alcohol
Other forms of addiction

Renting and where to find legal resources

Death (Hospice, Hospitals, Morgues, Wakes and Funerals vs. other types of burial/cremation arrangements, related costs.)

Geography, terrain, survival skills and navigation

Food: GMO, gardening, organics, nutrition


Elder Care!

The duty of self fulfillment and some guidelines to get started.

Friendship and bonding.

I probably forgot something in there but have one successfully out the door a few years ago and the other two are coming along nicely.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Stubborn ruthlessness.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> Stubborn ruthlessness.


I like this. 
But, then they would turn out like me...
Would not wish that on them.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

unbelievable said:


> Self-discipline, time management, money management, conflict resolution, basic housekeeping and home management, basic vehicle maintenance, basic education, citizenship, sound work ethic, basic first aid, firearm safety, fire safety, map reading, manners.


:iagree:

Also would add to teach them to:

- Follow their gut feeling. If something doesn't feel "right", it probably isn't. I had a high school teacher who was very inappropriate toward me and I should have spoke up sooner about it instead of keeping it to myself. 

- Respect themselves and others. Not to do things that are unhealthy for themselves and to be kind to others. Don't ever judge or make fun of another person. 

- Be resilient. If people try to tear you down, know in yourself that you are a good person and can/will do just fine in life. 

- Be a good friend. In order to have friends, you have to be one. Listen well, choose wisely, be loyal, and have fun.


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## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

Common sense.

And, don't be a douche to people.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Critical thinking.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

All great suggestions so far. Also - speaking clearly, properly and using correct grammar.

I have gotten so much farther than others with my limited higher education because I have a good vocabulary and a good command of the language. I speak well and clearly. Kids who mumble or use incorrect grammar (a la "Where's she at?" or "I don't have none.") seem to fare much worse in life because they don't SOUND intelligent. They could be very bright but if they don't sound like it they never get a chance to prove it. I am a stickler with my child. She knows better than to use "ain't" or to end a sentence with a preposition. That Black Eyed Peas song "Ima be" burns my butt. I hear kids say "Ima be at the game tonight". How about "I'm going to attend the game tonight." Same intent; entirely different effect.

[grammar rant over]


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Boottothehead said:


> I'll add to the list how to entertain themselves without a TV/phone/gaming device. I'm worried that our daughter is going to become a little zombie, so we've limited all screen activity to two hours a day on weekends. We want her to spend time with real people, doing things outside, or using her imagination.


I did this, too. DD23 was allowed 1 hour a day on weekdays of tv, computer, or games, her choice (within reason), and 2 hours a day (4 on weekends), in junior high. Then it was 1 hour a day unless she came up with a chore to do (cleaning out my jewelry box, matching socks, etc.) and, for each decent-sized chore, she could negotiate another half hour.

The one thing I thought was cool, but was a bust, was I said if you read to me from a book, I'll do your chore (dishwashing etc). Thought the love of books would transcend everything. It did, she's working on a PhD now, but it turned her into a slob. She just runs from homecare responsibilities now.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Stand up straight!


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

DD23 says she wishes they (school) would have taught them how to interview, balance a checkbook, figure out debt/credit cards, speak to adults, and plan out college better. All things we could probably do ourselves...


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## AmyPruett (Jan 16, 2014)

Never be afraid of failure and keep on trying until you get what you want... You do not have to be "in" always, you have to do what is right.


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