# Am I Really Being Unreasonable?



## Baseballmom6 (Aug 15, 2012)

After 27 years I was divorced from my cheating husband in October. Before the divorce my husband gave my son a small fishing boat, motor, trailer, etc. Shortly thereafter, my son moved into an apartment. I asked my son what he was going to do with the boat and he said he didn't really want it and had nowhere to store it anyway. So he gave the boat to me wherein I told him he could use it anytime he wanted to. Boat was awarded to me in the divorce decree.

My ex had another boat (which he just had to have while we were married) and which has been in a boat repair shop for over years. Many, many times during those past 4 year I begged my ex to get it out and put it in a reputable shop so that it would get repaired and we could go fishing). The shop he currently had it in was owned by a lazy drunk who only worked on it when he wanted to. Well, wouldn't you know it when his POS OW moved in with him around Thanksgiving, he immediately got the first boat out of that shop and put it in another shop to be repaired.

So I go out of town for Christmas, returning yesterday to find my boat missing out of my yard. When I called my 22 year old son to ask about it he tells me "Well, I loaned it to Dad." Boy did that send my blood boiling. I told my ex that (1st) it was not his boat as it was awarded to me in the decree and to return it immediatley and (2nd) he knows he is not to step foot onto my property without my permission and especially when I am out of town. 

Now, my son is furious at me for telling my ex to bring me back the boat. However, I know my husband he figured if he ask my son to borrow it he would get the boat and keep it indifinitely. My son doesn't understand why I am so pissed and says I am just trying to make trouble. My son also tells me I am just need to get over the hurt and pain of the crap his Dad put me through. He said since I wasn't using the boat right now why shouldn't his Dad be able to use it. 

Am I really just being unreasonable?


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

I dunno, having a boat seems like a big responsibility. Do you use it? If not let it go. Especially if it costs to maintain, insure and tax/registration plus the trailer to haul it...

The new wife knows your ex took it. Let it reflect badly on him and nicely on you. I would be loathe to make a fuss over the boat, but I would insist it was returned as soon as they are finished with it. If it is not returned send request in writing, then feel free to report it stolen (and let them know you will do this.)


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

I see both sides of this. You divided property fair and square. If the son doesn't use it, maybe offer to sell it to him for a fair price? Depends on the kind of boat, too. Ex and I had one, I wanted him to keep it. PITA it was. And I had no way to tow it.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

On principal I'd be angry.But then I'd have to stop and realize,I don't use the darn thing and my son wanted to let his dad use it and since it was my son's originally,I really have no right to get upset about who is using the boat.

I WOULD be angry no one told me though.That's just rude in my opinion.


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## MrsOldNews (Feb 22, 2012)

First off it's your boat and you have every right to decide who uses it or not. It doesn't matter if you use it weekly or once a year it's your boat to do with what you wish.

I would be quite pissed off if I were you. I own a small fishing boat myself that I purchased from my mom(a little 12ft v bottom with a trolling motor and a little 5.5hp motor.)
I love that boat so much and I would never lend it to someone I disliked. If my mother (the original owner of my boat lent it out to say my stbxh I would be fuming.) Especially since he can't back up a boat for $hit and he's soooo messy lol.

Your sun is acting very childish about this whole issue. You need to tell him its your boat yo do with what you wish and although he can borrow it any time, it should be understood that he can't lend it out without your permission. I mean how would he feel if you lent out his video game system or something to that effect without asking him.

I suggest you put a lock on your boat trailer. Unlock it when your son needs to hitch it up and go fishing but don't give him a key for himself.


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## Baseballmom6 (Aug 15, 2012)

Thanks for all the replies. I agree that it is my property and whether I used it once or never my ex-husband had no right to ask my son to borrow it. Had my ex wanted to borrow it he should have asked me. At least one of them should have warned me that the boat was gone because I actually thought it had been stolen. 

Of course, another issue is that my ex-husband has no problem saying No when I ask him for help with something but also no problem figuring out a way to get what he wants.

For example, our 25 year old daughter who lived with me and has 2 degrees (on a full scholarship I might add) had no job, no job prospects and no money. She finally landed a wonderful job in another country (she left on Dec 18th this year). Of course, two days before her move her laptop broke. She put it in the shop and the shop owner called to say that he needed to order parts and that the laptop would not be ready before she left the country. In order to be able to communicate with her I purchased her a laptop the night before she left. The next day I sent an email to my ex with a copy of the receipt asking him if he would be willing to split the cost with me since we would both get the benefit of communicating with her. I even told him that he could make payments if it would be easier on him. (It's not like I have a lot of money either). Well, he flat out told me No! But guess who is emailing her and talking with her on Skype almost every day. You got it... HIM! If I hadn't purchased the laptop he couldn't even communicate with her.

So yeah, maybe it's not just the boat it's just I am tired of him being unreasonable to me yet expecting to get what he wants when he wants it and without asking.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

YOUR BOAT. They took it without your permission. THEFT, IMO.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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