# Separation is about to start



## plasmaguy (Dec 28, 2011)

Hello All,

I am new to this site. I am getting ready for what seems like one of the most difficult times of my life.

A little about me: first time married 47 y/o. Wife is 35 y/o twice married. Her first marriage lasted 3 years.

I have been married for 5 plus years to a great lady. We have two little girls, 4 & 2. We have had a tough time with our relationship for the past 3.5-4 years. We are both self-employed and the economy has not helped at all.
My wife has asked me to seek help for my depression and I refused. I finally gave and have seen a dramatic improvement since on Celexa. We saw a MC 4 years ago and sadly like the stats prove we were not much better off after a year of seeing this lady. We didn't put her advice to work. 

Our courtship was quick.... in 6 months we were married.
We built the house of our dreams, had 2 kids and fell out of love.

I so want our marriage to work but she in her words has a lot of hate built up inside of her that she is having a difficult time releasing. Her therapist said that the separation will allow her time to figure out what she wants to do.

I can't tell you how many times I have had her ask for help or want to do something and I just ignored her.

Two months ago she threw her hands up and said it was over. I have begged, cried and pleaded with her to reconsider our future.

We moved her into her office/apartment today. The lawyer will have the sep/papers complete tomorrow for me to review and next week the separation begins. We have it set up so the girls will remain at our house and they will not have to shuffle back and forth. I pains me know that they'll have to see mom & dad heading off for mom or dads night out... My wife wants to see how the first three months go and will review and see how she feels

I grew up in a wonderful household. My parents were loving to each other and my sibs... My wife is a child of divorce, was sexually abused, and her parents have divorced 2x on her dads side and 3x on her moms so we come from a varied background.

Today, as we were finishing the packing I told my wife that the steps we were taking seemed so final if she wanted to call it quits I would respect her wishes. She said she was not ready to call it quits but needed to be away from me to clear her head. She said she knew the day she left her first husband she was making the right decision. Hopefully reconciliation is possible.

We watched _Fireproof_, it was a great movie. My wife said it should be mandatory viewing for any newlywed couple.

I wish I had been better skilled at marriage. The few sessions we had before our wedding just didn't scratch the surface.

Thank you all for listening to my situation. I am not a word-smith so please forgive my rambling.

Peace be with you,

PG


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## ku1980rose (Sep 7, 2010)

I hope things work out for you and your wife! Good luck!


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## turquoise sparkle (Dec 30, 2011)

Good luck with everything. I hope it works out as you wish. 
Have no wisdom as am currently in the midst of a confusing situation myself, but just wanted to wish you well.


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## plasmaguy (Dec 28, 2011)

Thank you both for the words of courage.

This is first night apart. I have the kids here now and they are expecting mom home shortly. Such a weird feeling. We are supposed to bath them together and read them their bed-time stories.

My wife and I moved her into her office as we are calling it for our kids sake. We have a bunk bed that the girls love. 

My wife says this time apart will allow her to decompress. And get happy again. 

I have ordered Gary Chapman's_ 5 Languages of Apologies_. My hurtful actions over the last 4 years have deeply scared my wife and I can only pray to God that I can regain the respect, trust and love from my bride.

I wish that all couples that are having issues with their marriages could step back and see that potential horrors that can happen from taking marriage for granted. I am living a textbook example of how not to treat a woman!!! This lady has given me two beautiful girls and so much to be proud of in this life.


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## insomnia255 (Dec 4, 2011)

plasmaguy take a look at these articles i found them very helpful.

Divorce Busting® - Relationship Advice - Marriage Problems Solutions


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