# Need advice, married guy, possible affair



## teletubbies (Jun 27, 2014)

I am 32 and is married for just over 1 year, no children yet.
I am pretty outgoing, smart and full of sense of humor but my wife is pretty dumb and cant understand most of the things I said. My attitude before was just let it be. We got no common interest and not much common frd. Most people know we are from different world, i.e. I classify myself with mid-high IQ and very good EQ, but my wife is with low IQ and very low EQ. But well we are together.

We went for a trip for the past few days and I met a girl whom is very out-going. I never meet a girl like this before and just got very interested in her somehow, which I never have a feeling to any girls like this for the past 5 years since I dated my wife. She turned out to be my wife's friend's girlfriend as well. And for a bit more information her boyfrd has proposed to her beforehand, and she rejected because she thought they were not very matched since her boyfrd was very "home-base", and they got separated, but were together again now. 

Now we are back for a day and I got a lot of distraction from this, was thinking about her a lot and wechated and facebooked her as well. My gut feel was to try to know her more and get close to her as much as possible, I think we will be very happy together since I think we match very well, but on the other hand I know it will be extremely tough to get rid of my marriage, and all the obstacles. 

Throughout this I start to feel a marriage crisis start to emerge, even though I can pass this test, but there will be future problem lies ahead. I am a guy full of passion but lack of desire before, recently I have just pick up the desire in my career and I start to change me lay back attitude, which also affects my view towards my wife, which was just let it be beforehand. 

So I am stuck in a limbo now. To be honest what I am thinking now is given time, since most likely nothing will yield, and the feeling to her will lay down. But now it is big problem.


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## Visexual (Nov 8, 2008)

Try to remember when you were dating, before you met your wife five years ago, and how you'd get the hots for some new gal. Most of the time you'd find that, after sex, there isn't much there, right?

You're simply infatuated and being unatainable only makes it more intense.

You'll get over her. And, don't feel guilty about having fantasies about her either. It's not a crime!  Hey, even old Jimmy Carter lusted in his mind!


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## Revamped (Jun 19, 2014)

I really can't believe that you'd come to a marriage forum and say...

-Your wife is stupid
-You want to start an affair
-You think this other lady will want you enough to start an affair

Start the Dissolution process. Give her EVERYTHiNG. Just walk away. Allow your wife some semblance of a life that will include the chance to find a man who loves her for who she is.

In all seriousness, the filing fee is about $200 and since nothing will be disputed, you could be out of your marriage by Labour Day. That frees you up to seek out this other woman, who's a lot of fun but in a relationship herself. Godd luck with that...


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## ReidWright (May 15, 2014)

your wife deserves someone who can love, honor, cherish, and respect her. That ain't you if after 1 year of marriage you just think of her as a dumb, boring person.

Pull the plug before you have kids


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

Can't believe anyone would take this seriously.


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## IndyTMI (Oct 26, 2012)

For having a mid-high IQ, your grammar isn't very telling.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

What's a BOYFRD? 

Maybe lower IQ people like your wife just don't understand.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

smart people can be dumb too ya know


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

You're not in limbo, you just don't have the cajones to leave your wife.

I wonder if all the women you know will not take it seriously though...with this new gf.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

You are not as smart as you think, clearly, WAY too selfish and full of yourself and simply don't deserve to be in a relationship.....forget about marriage.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Yep divorce your wife. Or even better see if you can get an annulment.

She deserves someone who will not call her stupid and put her down.

By the way, she is not a 'girl' she is a woman. A girl is someone under the age of 18.

You clearly do not have as high an IQ as you brag about. It shows in your writing. Your EQ is pretty low as well because anyone with a high EQ would not call their spouse stupid and would not be thinking of getting into an affair.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Almostrecovered said:


> smart people can be dumb too ya know


Hey! I resemble that!


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

teletubbies said:


> I am 32 and is married for just over 1 year, no children yet.
> I am pretty outgoing, smart and full of sense of humor but my wife is pretty dumb and cant understand most of the things I said. My attitude before was just let it be. We got no common interest and not much common frd. Most people know we are from different world, i.e. I classify myself with mid-high IQ and very good EQ, but my wife is with low IQ and very low EQ. But well we are together.
> 
> We went for a trip for the past few days and I met a girl whom is very out-going. I never meet a girl like this before and just got very interested in her somehow, which I never have a feeling to any girls like this for the past 5 years since I dated my wife. She turned out to be my wife's friend's girlfriend as well. And for a bit more information her boyfrd has proposed to her beforehand, and she rejected because she thought they were not very matched since her boyfrd was very "home-base", and they got separated, but were together again now.
> ...


Uhhh... Yeah. I'm reeeaaaaally picking up on the "high IQ" here, lemme tell ya.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

Don't have any kids until you figure this out.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

LIMBO? what limbo? You have only been married for a year. And you knew exactly who you were marrying. Grow the heck up, zip up your pants, and be a good husband for your new wife. Jeez


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

teletubbies said:


> but my wife is pretty dumb and cant understand most of the things I said.


No disrespect, but I can't understand most of the things you are trying to say either & I am not "dumb."

However if you think she is so "dumb", why did you marry her?


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## No one (Jun 29, 2014)

Did you ever truly love your wife? 

If not than end the marriage now and give this woman back her life which you stole, you seem to have it all figured out, who is at fault so show her what you posted, chances are she has no idea, this will make the process easy, once she sees this she won't make it hard for you to go, she'll probably help you pack your bags.

The only obstacles you will have to overcome will be the ones in your head... 

I am concerned for your wife & wish I could give her a hug and reassure her that she is worthy of great love..May she be divinely protected from this day forth .. Good luck with your choices


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

TAMers: Rereading teletubbies' post I get the impression English is not his first language, so his grammar errors are not necessarily an intellectual deficiency.

OP: You are having an affair. You need to end it now, and put your energy into your marriage. If you believe you made a mistake marrying someone less intelligent than you are, definitely DON'T tell your wife that!!!! Does your wife have good qualities that attracted you to her and were the basis of your deciding to marry her? FOCUS on those qualities.

If you can't fall back in love with your wife, then you need to divorce her....THEN start dating other people, IN THAT ORDER!!

Intelligence with no heart is worse than being average or below average intellligence with a big heart.


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## Kim C (Jun 9, 2014)

Ummm, if what your saying about your wife's IQ is accurate, than you are pretty well matched! Do yourself a favor and start treating your wife with a little more respect and you'll be happier in the end.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

When I read the part where he said he had a high EQ , and his wife's EQ was low , I began to laugh.

That the typical usual ,entitled bs you here from some people here and in real life.

Why would a person with a " high EQ" marry a person with a 
" low EQ " ?
All human beings were born with an infinite capacity to love and be loved.


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## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

teletubbies said:


> I am 32 and is married for just over 1 year, no children yet.
> I am pretty outgoing, smart and full of sense of humor but my wife is pretty dumb and cant understand most of the things I said. My attitude before was just let it be. We got no common interest and not much common frd. Most people know we are from different world, i.e. I classify myself with mid-high IQ and very good EQ, but my wife is with low IQ and very low EQ. But well we are together.
> 
> We went for a trip for the past few days and I met a girl whom is very out-going. I never meet a girl like this before and just got very interested in her somehow, which I never have a feeling to any girls like this for the past 5 years since I dated my wife. She turned out to be my wife's friend's girlfriend as well. And for a bit more information her boyfrd has proposed to her beforehand, and she rejected because she thought they were not very matched since her boyfrd was very "home-base", and they got separated, but were together again now.
> ...


You would think with such a high IQ you could write a grammatically correct sentence.


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## teletubbies (Jun 27, 2014)

thx all for the reply. English is not my first language indeed.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

If this is real, then coming to a marriage forum and calling your wife stupid while you are oohing and ahhing over another woman is not the best thing to do.

You have been married almost a year and you're already starting to stray. 

Since you're so unhappy, the advice is simple. Divorce your wife and let her go find someone who is going to love her. That will probably be the best thing you can do for her.


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## devotion (Oct 8, 2012)

I don't think making fun on the OP is warranted, but I will agree that an affair is just ultimate disrespect. Not just to your wife, but to yourself and to the institution of marriage. 

If you married the wrong woman, or shouldn't be married at all, end it and move on. Don't try to have your cake and eat it too. You have an obligation to your wife, and if you can't hold up your end of the obligation, then you have to have the decency to let her go so she can find something new, too.


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## newwife07 (Jan 11, 2011)

If I were your wife I would want nothing more than for you to free me from what sounds like a terrible marriage, and to find a much better companion than what you sound like. Especially if you think you're that much better than her, she'll get over it--trust me. Stop telling yourself you're doing her a favor by staying with her, and get that divorce.


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## lessthennone (Jun 19, 2014)

Does your wife know YOU are having issues with your marriage?

If you really want a divorce, then get one. Don't string your wife along and don't cheat on her. 

I think the fact that you lack respect for her is dangerous. But, if you cheat, don't expect others to take your side. It's easy to rationalize to yourself. Others, not so much.


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## inquizitivemind (Jul 16, 2013)

The things you said about your spouse are really mean. Who marries someone that they think is stupid? 

Clearly, you have already decided that you don't love your wife. Now, please don't be a jacka$$ and gently tell your wife that you made a mistake. Don't make it worse on her because I know for a fact she deserves better.


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