# I have no idea what I should do, or do I?



## JoyfulHeart

As most have done on here, I have been reading and looking at other topics. But now I feel I need to ask for advice, or something.

A little background. I have been with my partner since October 2007. We are not married, living common-law. I have two children from a previous marriage. And we both have a third child together plus another on the way.

About 3-4 weeks ago, I couldn't handle the emotional roller coaster I was on. He had wanted to leave 4 times but had always come back. This last time I decided that I didn't want to go through this again. We own our home so this past weekend he moved to the basement.

I feel like I am sitting on this fence. He says he doesn't know what he wants. I ask if he loves me and his answer is yes and no. He doesn't know if he wants to stay in a relationship with me or move on. I told him that he needs to figure it out soon because I need to either work on a relationship or move on with my life.

Yesterday he went to counseling for the first time in his life. Later in the evening he began the conversation with me about how 3 years ago or so he would "like" articles about his beliefs (he is atheist) and at some point I told him that it was hurtful to me. I know I can't remember saying that, but I don't deny it either. I did tell him that a time I know I was hurt was his friend was making fun of my beliefs right in front of me. That I told him was hurtful.

I knew at one point of his life he was a Christian but had turned away. I never knew why for he would give me random answers. So I figure it was time for bed for we really weren't talking. As soon as I lay down, he is outside of my room asking me if I went to bed. I got up, opened the door and told him that I had thought that was the plan.

He told me that he figured he owed me some answers. He told me that when he became a Christian that his life was bad, he was depressed, hated himself, but most of all vulnerable to believe. He then got to a point where he felt that he no longer needed a delusion and walked away from being a Christian (I highly doubt he ever was one to be honest). Because I believe in a God (I am a Seventh-day Adventist) he finds me to believe a delusion and doesn't like that I am teaching the children a delusion. He tells me that for certain and he knows as truth there is no God. I ask him what "facts" tell him for certain, with no question, that there is no God. He won't tell me. I go on to tell him that in the legal system, not only do parents have a responsibility of providing for their children for physical, emotional, and mental needs, but also spiritual. And since he had no spiritual beliefs, that I need to teach the children mine. If my kids one day decide God isn't for them, fine, that will be their freewill choice. But until then, I have a duty to teach them.

So we are at a point now. I have no idea what he wants to do, actually, he has no idea what he wants to do. He didn't want the relationship to end but at the same time he wants to be with someone who is also an atheist. I understand that and if I move on, I have finally learned that I need to find someone who believes as I do. The problem is he is stringing me and won't know when he will finally decide what he wants to do.

Me finding out I was pregnant happened about 2 weeks after we "separated". We have to live in the same house for at least 2 years, financially, we need to. And I am sure as heck not going to be on this fence for that entire time. I have already resolved to do this pregnancy on my own, two of my best female friends have already said they would be there and support me in the delivery room.

I know he has a potential woman in mind. And right now, it doesn't bother me as it could have a month ago. I just need to figure out what I am supposed to do. I am not a woman who will act out of spite. I admit, I wear my heart on my sleeve and tend to sometimes act on emotion, but considering I have done so 2-3 times since this all started weeks ago, I think I am doing okay. If this woman is someone he figures he could be happy being an atheist with, then so be it. But I don't like the fact I am on this fence that he can't make up his mind.

Bible says to not be unequally yoked, and I am getting to the point where this is being unequally yoked and I honestly don't know if I want to be with him. Don't get me wrong, I do love him, I have not fallen out of love. I love unconditionally and as 1 Corinthians teaches. I have never wanted to change his beliefs or his likes/dislikes. If anything, and I have told him, I simply wished he'd make better choices about his health and the way he treats me and his family (me and the kids).

So idk. Do I honestly wait? Or should I do the famous 180 I read about (someone is going to have to post the link as to actually what it details as I tried searching and could not find) Any advice, encouragement, constructive criticism, anything will be welcomed.


Signed a Joyful Heart that is completely confused.


----------



## Gaia

Joyful.... I feel for you. Your story makes me sad and you seem so sweet. It does sound as if he is taking advantage of your kindness and using this religious difference as an excuse to seek out others. I'm not christian but I am with an agnostic and I am wiccan. He respects my beliefs and we do make jokes but he has never belittled me for what I believed in. Well except once.... he did say something hurtful during an arguement but he quickly made up for it. 


I believe that if someone truly loves you... they will accept you for who you are no matter what you believe in. I think you should find someone who can give you that respect.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Bafuna

Wait on the Lord, pray to him to guide you, dont do anything irrational, things will eventually unfold.........


----------

