# what is worse?



## jessi (Feb 11, 2009)

Tonight I had a girlfriend call me and tell me her husband had been having a EA with someone he works with......
She is devastated and kept saying that it isn't the same as my husband's PA but that she was hurt beyond belief.....
I told her that I think the EA part of all affairs are what is the hurtful part, I think all of us could get over the affairs quicker if it was just sex, but because EA,PA both have the emotional part going on, once that happens the fog and fantasy has already in tact and destroying the marriage.......
Do you guys think one is worse than the other, is recovery easier for the EA apposed to the PA........does it depend how long the EA connection has been happening?
I have directed her to this site and I know she is reading, learning and educating herself......
Opinions or viewpoints welcome......


----------



## geo (Oct 29, 2010)

Me personally the physical is a relationship breaker, don't believe I could forgive/ get past it. but that is my opinion..


----------



## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

i think men who have pa are feeling sorry for them selvs oh woe is me my w dosent talk have sex cook take care of me/her self but a ea to me means he is out the door trollin for sex one thing in love with someone else absoulety different
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

I think that they are both equally devastating.


----------



## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

With one exception: STD exposure.

And many PAs are combined with EA elements.

Pretty lousy.

In an EA there are no horrible visualizing what transpired.

PA is worse in my mind.


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I agree with RWB, the "moment" is emotional. I do have my opinion and I would rather have my wife in the "moment" of a PA then have her emotionaly involved with one particular guy. Sex is sex, but if my wife replaced her connection with me with another guy then... well then I've been replaced.

For me, my wife always wanted me, I just wasn't around. So know I have excepted the fact that my wife cheated and know that I'm around I can prevent it from happening again. I understand it was just something I wasn't providing be it emotional and physical we still had some connection that kept us together. So since she could never connect with the OM's, I say an EA is worse then a PA.


----------



## WadeWilson (Jul 4, 2010)

An E.A is to me an absence of romance where in some part both H/W contributes... Its harder cause you're auditioning for your spot... A P.A is just selfishly getting your jollies... Someone else is getting some pleasure and its not me so i would be upset by that... When you combine the two its plain old goodbye.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## mommy2 (Oct 27, 2009)

the guy said:


> I agree with RWB, the "moment" is emotional. I do have my opinion and I would rather have my wife in the "moment" of a PA then have her emotionaly involved with one particular guy. Sex is sex, but if my wife replaced her connection with me with another guy then... well then I've been replaced.
> 
> For me, my wife always wanted me, I just wasn't around. So know I have excepted the fact that my wife cheated and know that I'm around I can prevent it from happening again. I understand it was just something I wasn't providing be it emotional and physical we still had some connection that kept us together. So since she could never connect with the OM's, I say an EA is worse then a PA.


Same here - I agree/relate with the guy. My hubby always wanted me too - I just wasn't there for him - emotionally/intimately. So, while discussing our issues with OM, they connnected and had PA. I agree that PA always has EA component.


----------



## moeman (Aug 12, 2010)

mommy2 said:


> I agree that PA always has EA component.


...EA also has some kind of physical touch involved, perhaps not the bedroom kind but things like holding hands, etc. What's your opinion?


----------



## disbelief (Oct 31, 2010)

With my current experience i think it is the emotional connection that can destroy the previous emotional connection. Where sex can possibly be a heat of the moment disconnected act where as emotional turned physical is IMHO the whole deal. And a big mess.


----------



## How2BelieveAndMoveOn (Sep 10, 2010)

Unfortunately for me, my WW had one of each...and they both hurt. The PA hurts from the mental images/movies that go with it...the thoughts of "how could she think so little of me or herself"...and "how could she come home and be intimate with me afterwards and how did I not know." The EA (which I believe was PA too) hurts from a very simple standpoint...you were not the person that her life was based around for this period of time. Here's an example, my WW would wake up and based on her phone/text records, her first thought would be about the OM. Or I found out thru phone records, there were plenty of times where I might call from work to chat with her in which I interrupted a call with the OM, we'd chat for 5-10 minutes, and then she would get right back on the phone with him for an hour. It hurts alot to think that you're no longer the most important person in your spouse's life.


----------

