# How can I make him not like me?



## lostgirl22 (Jun 21, 2011)

So there's this guy that really likes me. He's been hurt pretty badly in the past. He was also really sick as a kid and pretty much almost died and still have health problems from it. 

But he's a great guy and all, but I just don't know if I want to be in a relationship with him. I kind of gotten in way too deep. I told him I wouldn't hurt him and that I like him and all of that. We're going on a date on the 5th.

I really do like him, but I'm still in love with my ex. My ex and I have a 6 month old son together. My ex has pretty bad depression but is now getting help and really trying to get his life on track. My ex and I hang out a lot and we both still have very strong feelings and he's getting help for his depression. He wants to to be there for our son and I. 

But this guy I have a date with wants a real relationship. I don't want to tell him I don't like him like that because I know it'll hurt him so bad and I just can't do that.

What are some ways or things I can do to make him just think that being in a relationship with me isn't a good idea?

It sounds cruel but idk what else to do to not hurt him.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I think you should make it MORE about your feelings for your EX, how you can not get over him... it would not be fair to continue on with him, this is, after ALL ...HONEST and TRUE. 

LOVE HURTS - putting yourself out there , risking your feelings for another -- this is what it is always about, everyone suffers here, some more than others. It is a part of life & living. 

For you to allow him to continue on, with a little more bonding each & every encounter is only prolonging the inevitable, and causing the hurt to climb a little higher, it is infact cruel. 

So long as he is not suicidal over you, you need to let him go. Give him freedom to put his sights on another. There are 2 people who go to my church that are both BLIND, I have seen some amazing matches, and yes, some have some sad health issues even and these people are truly blessed to have one another. He needs to be freed to find his one & only.


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## ARF (Jan 26, 2011)

Rejection is never fun, but don't play games with it. Be honest. You obviously aren't ready for a relationship until things get resolved between you and your ex. The other guy will probably be disappointed, but will or should understand where you are coming from. If you truly feel this way, don't let it get to the date you have planned. Let him know asap.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

If it was me I’d very much want to know the truth. Us men do have gut feelings and intuition. Whatever you tell him if it’s lies they wont match up with your body language and behaviour over time. And then his gut feelings and instinct will kick in and he’ll sense something’s wrong. So find a kind and gentle to let the guy down. You not wanting to hurt him is really quite selfish of you. If you go on deceiving him and then he discovers the truth he’ll be even more hurt and then how would you feel?

Perhaps tell him your heart is with your ex. He should be able to understand and accept that.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

If I were a young lady with a small child I believe my first priority regarding mate selection would be to find a decent, stable guy who would make a great father and husband and not necessarily whichever guy blew my skirt up the highest. Finding a "hunk" is ok when you're looking for a prom date. Setting up permanent housekeeping and raising kids requires substantially more from a guy.


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## Mrs. T (Aug 5, 2011)

Honesty is the only way NOT to hurt him. Just let him know that it has nothing to do with him, he's a great guy. You have a lot of history and a child with this other man and I think anyone would understand you still have feelings for him. Be kind...let him down BEFORE the date and be honest about why you are cancelling. He'll be disappointed but he'll get over it much sooner if he realises your heart lies elsewhere and you had the decency to let him know it before it got too serious for him. From your description it sounds like he would fall for you very easily if you go through with this date.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Chatting up two guys at once is a pretty good way to make a guy not like you.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Just tell him it's not working out for you.

Yea, he'll be stung but then he'll go get laid by some new girl and things will be ok.

This is what dating is about. ...finding the one you want and not wasting time with the ones you don't.


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## YupItsMe (Sep 29, 2011)

You dont have to make him not like you and shouldnt. 

I would recommend you tell him you do like him but are not emotionally available right now because you still have feelings for someone else and it is important for you to fully explore that relationship before you will be ready to pursue a relationship with someone else. 

This is called the truth. Thats what well adjusted adults offer toother adults when presented with a situation like yours. 

Its not likely to hurt either since you do like him as you stated. 

He will likely be frustrated for your being unavailable but in time perhaps you will be. 

If you are still convinced you need to have him end up not liking you, which I think is strange and unfortnate for anyone to think that, then just lead him on with a bunch of B.S. like you have so far by agreeing to go out with him even though you are not available. When he finds out he has been lead on, he wont like you any more.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I'm confused... Have you been going out with him, or not? If not, cancel the date and don't accept another one. You don't have an obligation to him, if you're not dating seriously. If he lets himself get that emotionally attached to you before you're dating, imagine how needy he would be later. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lostgirl22 (Jun 21, 2011)

I honestly did like him at first. Then now he's being weird, I guess you can say. He'll text me freaking out if I don't text him a minute or 2 after he texts me, he told me he wants to love me, like be in love with me. He keeps freaking out saying if this doesn't work that he's giving up on everything. Idk if that's threat or what but still. It's to the point where it's scary. He's nice and all and has good intentions but he seems like he might be a bit controlling. 





YupItsMe said:


> You dont have to make him not like you and shouldnt.
> 
> I would recommend you tell him you do like him but are not emotionally available right now because you still have feelings for someone else and it is important for you to fully explore that relationship before you will be ready to pursue a relationship with someone else.
> 
> ...


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## lostgirl22 (Jun 21, 2011)

Umm, when did I say I'm only looking for a good looking guy? And no, I don't want a guy to be there to take care of my son and I. I'm the one that will provide for my son. I'll never let another man play daddy when my son has a dad that loves him and cares about him. I love my ex but there's things about him that he needs mental help with and he's getting it. This new guy is a good guy, he's just been scaring me lately. 




unbelievable said:


> If I were a young lady with a small child I believe my first priority regarding mate selection would be to find a decent, stable guy who would make a great father and husband and not necessarily whichever guy blew my skirt up the highest. Finding a "hunk" is ok when you're looking for a prom date. Setting up permanent housekeeping and raising kids requires substantially more from a guy.


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## lostgirl22 (Jun 21, 2011)

Well, not it doesn't matter. He got mad at me for thinking it's ok to hang out with exes because he thinks if you hang out with an ex, you'll have sex with them. I'm not into being controlled. I let my guy hang out with who he pleases as long as he doesn't have sex with them or cheats. But I trust them until the point they do cheat. He thinks it's better to restrict your lover rather than trust.


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## adv (Feb 26, 2011)

If you feel he is being this controlling or needy before you two are even having a serious relationship, how do you think he will be six months down the line?

I agree with the others, be honest with him and tell him how you feel instead of letting him think you feel something more for him.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

lostgirl22 said:


> Well, not it doesn't matter. He got mad at me for thinking it's ok to hang out with exes because he thinks if you hang out with an ex, you'll have sex with them. I'm not into being controlled. I let my guy hang out with who he pleases as long as he doesn't have sex with them or cheats. But I trust them until the point they do cheat. He thinks it's better to restrict your lover rather than trust.


I dont find that controlling at all. It's perfectly reasonable for a guy to NOT want a new love interest to be hanging out with her ex. And his controlling behavior could be more about him sensing you're not fully engaged.

Just put him out of his misery before he gets in too deep.


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## lostgirl22 (Jun 21, 2011)

It's controlling because he told me if I was out with my friends and me and this guy are in a relationship, that if anyone my exes show up and I don't leave, he'll get really mad at me.



sinnister said:


> I dont find that controlling at all. It's perfectly reasonable for a guy to NOT want a new love interest to be hanging out with her ex. And his controlling behavior could be more about him sensing you're not fully engaged.
> 
> Just put him out of his misery before he gets in too deep.


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

"How can I make him not like me?"

What is wrong with this question?


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## lostgirl22 (Jun 21, 2011)

Nothings wrong with it because he told me he can't mentally handle another girl rejecting him. I'm scared for his own safety to tell him I don't like him.



This is me said:


> "How can I make him not like me?"
> 
> What is wrong with this question?


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