# Unsure....



## COMountainman (Jul 23, 2007)

About a month or so ago my wife received an e-mail from her ex-boyfriend wanting information about an old mutual friend of theirs. No big deal. She asked if it was Ok with me to contact him back. I didn't mind. (Mind you that this is the guy she left days before we started dating) 
That night she asked if it would be Ok to call him and asked if her contacting him just this once would bother me. I told her that I'm not childish and that it was Ok, but I didn't really think it was a great idea to be contacting him on a regular basis. I felt it could cause problems. He lives in the same town as we do and from what she has said is somewhat of a needy person. 
Small background note: We have been happily married for just under two years. 
I thought that was the end of it all. She told me what they talked about and it was pretty much a mute point. Or so I thought. 
I start noticing her text messaging alot and finally asked her who she was contacting so often. She was very hesitant to say anything but finally confessed that she has been in contact with him everyday at least ten times a day via text messages. I was shocked. I didn't know what to say. I let it go for awhile until it became an obsession with her. She was becoming defensive about the whole thing and is starting to lie about contacting him. I asked her to quit and she said she would but she is still doing it to this day. I've been a bad boy once and I do mean only once, and read the messages. He's playing on her sympathy and is whining about not having her around anymore blah blah blah... 
I'm not sure what course to take now. She gets angry if I mention it and blows her stack which in turn makes me angry and want to give her an ultimatum. 
She says it's all about trusting her and I do. I don't however trust him. 

Anybody got any fresh ideas on how to make this stop?


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## ImaginativeResource (Aug 4, 2007)

Hey there,

Just wondering how your situation is going over there? Did it resolve itself??? I think that your wife is playing with "fire" by communication with this guy from the past. 

It makes me wonder, what is she getting from him that she's not getting from you??? Do you and her talk or hang out together a lot??? 

Just make sure you're still a couple and not just married if you catch my drift...


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## greg (Jun 5, 2007)

Hi I am in the same situation as you. My wife and I are separated (1st week) after 14 years of marriage due to a texting emotional friend. This friend of hers does work at the same place though.... But let me back up, my wife did have an affair with an ex boyfriend, who lives out of state just before out 10th anniversary. My advise to you is to take a mental inventory. Write down things and ask. If she cannot be honest, or if she is defensive put a stop to it immediately, do not allow that trust to turn into ice!


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