# Problems with bf's family...been 8 years now...



## tracy47 (Aug 25, 2011)

Hi everyone! Here's my story, hoping for some inputs/suggestions from those who are in similar situations in the past, or current parents who may offer some insights.

My bf and I have been together for 8 years, I'm 29 and he's 31. We've always been in a long distance relationship for those 8 years, mainly because both of us were away for college, then graduate school. Now he just finished school, and I have two more years. His family wants him to move back home to they can be close by, and I want him to be close to me, i'm tired of being away from each other, and just want a normal relationship. 2 more years of LD is out of the question for me.

For the past three months, we have been arguing a lot, he, wanting to please his parents, wants to move back to Texas (where his family is). And I finally got fed up, and could never see my life happy being close to his family, broke up with him. After about 2 weeks after our break-up, he contacted me and basically promised to find a job close to me so that we can finally be together. However, he is still feeling so nervous and scared about telling his family this. He's not even telling them that he's looking for jobs elsewhere other than Texas. 

There will be a lot of drama, because his family thinks I am stealing him away from them. They're not only possessive, but very controlling of my bf. In these 8 years, i've seen them a handful of times. I've been to TX twice (for his sisters' weddings), and left both time in tears and broken hearted. They were unwelcoming, expected me to do all these wedding preparations without expressing any kind of appreciation. They treated me so poorly, and my bf did not speak up or say anything because he didn't want to be disrespectful to his family. I would say I've been through a lot of craziness with this family, and the reason I am still with him is because I love him, and that I only have to deal with them once in a while. He always defended his family, spends most of his vacation weeks with them, and not me citing that his parents will not be there forever, and that he has a lifetime to spend together with me. There were so many red lights throughout the 8 years, but i put up with it and let it go. But moving to Texas was really the last straw. I could see forever with him, but not if he's going to be in texas. 

So basically, we are right now at a stage where he decided that he wants to be close to me, and will have to tell his family this. With 5 older sisters, and him being the only and youngest boy, I know there will be so much drama, his family will pull all stops: you love your gf more than us, parents will die soon, you only have 1 mom and you can have 5 wives...etc. 

My bf is now incredibly nervous, and i don't know if he can be strong enough to put his feet down this time around and stand up for what he wants. I, in turn, am really worried that my heart will be broken once again. A part of me is hopeful that he will strong enough to go through with it, but a part of me thinks he will eventually backdown once again to his family. 

Should I just accept this and conclude that maybe we're not meant to be? Or should I be hopeful that he will go through with it. Do I give a time-frame as to when he should tell his family? How do I deal with this?


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Let him go through with his plan to move to you. 
Give it a deadline so he can't string you along.

If it works, great!
If not you're no worse off than you were.

Either way you'll learn a lot about this man in the process.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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