# Found these emails...



## pickme550r (Nov 20, 2012)

Hi everyone, now heres the story , my wife has a good friend which is a women who she has known for years who is a divorcee and by the looks of her she looks very ruff in the sense of dressing more like a guy. and i just got that vibe she is at least bi ,..because our 2 kids are the same age ...she is always on the phone with her she used to go to her house every wed and have dinner because the kids sech had scouts so it would be easier

When i ask her not to talk to her on the phone sometimes she get very defensive about her..now here are a couple of emails i found between my wife and he let me know what you think..

her friend
now this is an older email the other 2 are current.....same day 

was just wondering if you got my e-mail. You have not responded. You know my computer works when it wants to so I don't know if you received it.
Well what do you think.............. make up sex (only kidding) miss talking to you.
later


wife email a couple months later recent


Hey,
I'm lying here in bed awake because me was called into work and I'm just guessing if your sleeping or doing laundry. Lol
I hope you are able to get some rest.
Well I was just thinking about you ...... ; )
Have a good night- sweet dreams
P.s. Hey if yourre on your computer ....write back 

2nd same night

Well I guess your asleep or watching tv... Good night honey

what do you think,....


----------



## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

I think your wife is ****ing her best friend.

You`re going to need harder evidence if you want to R though.


----------



## pickme550r (Nov 20, 2012)

I know it sounds like it right, i work a rotating shift (police officer) so i came along these emails the other day...it sounds a little to friendly , i get the idea from her female friend that shes kinda anti male just by her appearance..I dont want to draw conclusions...


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Hm. I dunno.

My girlfriends and I talk dirty to each other as jokes, but that exchange of emails sounds rather intimate.


You'd need more proof of an affair though.


----------



## LookingForTheSun (Dec 28, 2011)

More than friends - sorry :-(


----------



## pickme550r (Nov 20, 2012)

that_girl said:


> Hm. I dunno.
> 
> My girlfriends and I talk dirty to each other as jokes, but that exchange of emails sounds rather intimate.
> 
> ...



yes i dont want to accuse her, BUT i get weird vibes, shes very secretive on the phone with her, and is also waaaay to accommodating to her when she needs her kids watched when she is working..and other things..


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Trust your spidy senses and plant a VAR and install a keylogger.


----------



## pickme550r (Nov 20, 2012)

its does sound intimate to, a little to friendly, my wife looking for her and in the same night oo good night honey really..


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Yea, it sounds weird. Trust your vibes.


----------



## Bottled Up (Nov 12, 2011)

pickme550r said:


> i get the idea from her female friend that shes kinda anti male just by her appearance


She's anti-you, b/c she's competing with you over your wife.


----------



## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

You need to pout yourself into PI mode:
Keylog the PC.
Spyware at the phone
VAR at the right spots to tape her (car?).
GPS at phone, car?
Check the phone bill to find out the habits, hours, etc.

Sorry man, sounds she's cheating.


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Granted your a cop so you see the worst in poeple everyday, but when it comes to protecting your marriage trust your gut and do the investigation that will either confirm or deny any danger for the marriage.

If there is danger to the marriage you will then be in your right as her husband to stop being decieved or she lets you go. 

Get the VAR and plant in the car, its one of the best tools besides the keylogger in protecting your self from any deciet/betrayal.


----------



## pickme550r (Nov 20, 2012)

Bottled Up said:


> She's anti-you, b/c she's competing with you over your wife.


yes , but she keeps here distant when i am around, i had a couple of arguments with my wife over her and again shes gets very defensive


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Sure the text in them selves are ify, but the cell phone behavior and defence behavior(big red flags) solidifies the action you need to take to quitely investigate this.


----------



## pickme550r (Nov 20, 2012)

yea thanks I going to pick up a key logger tonight for starters..


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Nice avitar pick


----------



## pickme550r (Nov 20, 2012)

YES enough is enough with her BS about it ,many times of ssaid in a roundabout manner her friend it too friendly now i find these emails just great...


----------



## pickme550r (Nov 20, 2012)

thanks thats my patrol car.


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Hm. it's just so sketchy. 

Try bringing her friend up more. Have a 'get together' and invite the friend...she how they react.

Maybe act like you're cool with the friendship and then maybe she won't try to hide it as much?

I dunno...I'm so bad at these things. I can't snoop. I just blurt.


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

pickme550r said:


> yea thanks I going to pick up a key logger tonight for starters..


If there is a problem make sure to check back in and get a good game plan together...this infidelity crap has a script and you will have a more effective confrontation when you know what your wifes say before she says it.

we all have been there and no mater if its a ssap (same sex affair partener) or not you will get the gaselighting and blameshifting that comes with a confrontation.


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

pickme550r said:


> thanks thats my patrol car.


Sweet....you need a scoop on the hood. LOL


----------



## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

We're willing to give good advice on the condition that you agree to give non of us speeding tickets 

If you can get spyware on her phone and computer and a VAR in her car you should have good info within a week. Just don't reveal the source.


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

How does she behave towards you when you are home?

How is your intimacy with her?

How often do you two hang out as a couple?


----------



## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

that_girl said:


> Hm. it's just so sketchy.
> 
> Try bringing her friend up more. Have a 'get together' and invite the friend...she how they react.
> 
> ...


After some PI work on your own if you don't have conclusive evidence you can try something on this line to make them believe you "suspect" something but you are too clueless to be spying. It will elicit no doubt the damage control exchanges you can monitor.


----------



## pickme550r (Nov 20, 2012)

the guy said:


> Sweet....you need a scoop on the hood. LOL


haha thanks county issue car thanks..


----------



## pickme550r (Nov 20, 2012)

that_girl said:


> Hm. it's just so sketchy.
> 
> Try bringing her friend up more. Have a 'get together' and invite the friend...she how they react.
> 
> ...


yea we have alot of soccer games with her daughters are on t he same team my wife goes out of the way to be by here if she needs anything, normally i wouldnot think anything of it but its kinda like hmm....


----------



## pickme550r (Nov 20, 2012)

haha you funny.... hint :::just dont speed at the end of the month


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Your wife could be feeling close to her, as women can, but her friend could be pushing for more. It could all be innocent on everyone's part, I don't know.

But then you say your wife gets defensive...so that's weird.


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

pickme550r said:


> haha you funny.... hint :::just dont speed at the end of the month


I KNEW IT!!


----------



## pickme550r (Nov 20, 2012)

that_girl said:


> How does she behave towards you when you are home?
> 
> How is your intimacy with her?
> 
> How often do you two hang out as a couple?


she behaves fine with me at home always seems to be on the phone though, we usually have sex 2 times a week...hang out as a couple thats hard because of the kids..


----------



## LetDownNTX (Oct 4, 2012)

pickme550r said:


> yes i dont want to accuse her, BUT i get weird vibes, shes very secretive on the phone with her, and is also waaaay to accommodating to her when she needs her kids watched when she is working..and other things..


Do you think the friend has come on to your wife and your wife doesnt want you disliking her anymore then you already do so she didnt tell you?

The emails are a little strange but I can see playing around with my friends like that too and I have no interest in women! LOL


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Have you looked at any list that show the red flags of a cheating spouse? Google it.

You have the cell phone behavior, but there are a bunch of others.


----------



## pickme550r (Nov 20, 2012)

that_girl said:


> Your wife could be feeling close to her, as women can, but her friend could be pushing for more. It could all be innocent on everyone's part, I don't know.
> 
> But then you say your wife gets defensive...so that's weird.


yes thats how i felt whats going on but when i saw those emails im like hmm maybe theres more now..


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Yea. Those emails were intimate, BUT i would say that the friend sounds MORE intimate. More infatuated.


----------



## pickme550r (Nov 20, 2012)

LetDownNTX said:


> Do you think the friend has come on to your wife and your wife doesnt want you disliking her anymore then you already do so she didnt tell you?
> 
> The emails are a little strange but I can see playing around with my friends like that too and I have no interest in women! LOL


yes you could be right to, you chat with your friend like that to?when i saw that ooo we can have makeup sex (just kidding )that sent up a red flag in my mind...

I will definitely keep all of you updated. my friend at work got me o\n this site


----------



## pickme550r (Nov 20, 2012)

that_girl said:


> Yea. Those emails were intimate, BUT i would say that the friend sounds MORE intimate. More infatuated.


your right about that or is it my wife just being friendly but it does not sound like that to me.


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Make 'couple time' a priority. Put the kids to bed, and just share some wine and cheese or whatever. See how wife reacts.


----------



## pickme550r (Nov 20, 2012)

that_girl said:


> Make 'couple time' a priority. Put the kids to bed, and just share some wine and cheese or whatever. See how wife reacts.


ill have to try that just hard with my shift changes but i will try that...


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I'm not saying bend over backwards for her. I'm just saying to switch things up a bit. I dunno. Are you gone often? Your wife could be in an EA but not realize it because it's with another woman...she justifies it as friendship...


----------



## WhereAmI (Nov 3, 2010)

Aside from the "makeup sex" I talk the same way with my best friend who lives in another state. I hope it's nothing, but it's great that you're willing to protect your marriage. Always follow your gut.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## LetDownNTX (Oct 4, 2012)

pickme550r said:


> yes you could be right to, you chat with your friend like that to?when i saw that ooo we can have makeup sex (just kidding )that sent up a red flag in my mind...
> 
> I will definitely keep all of you updated. my friend at work got me o\n this site


I dont talk to my friends like that on a normal basis..NO! But I can see myself saying something silly like that to my BFF. She and I talk about everything, when you are really close with someone you can say anything and your friend doesnt care or think anything of it.


----------



## pickme550r (Nov 20, 2012)

that_girl said:


> I'm not saying bend over backwards for her. I'm just saying to switch things up a bit. I dunno. Are you gone often? Your wife could be in an EA but not realize it because it's with another woman...she justifies it as friendship...


true true ,i work alot of shifts that rotate but i do have time.. u might be right our wife could be in an EA but not realize it because it's with another woman...she justifies it as friendship..


----------



## pickme550r (Nov 20, 2012)

LetDownNTX said:


> I dont talk to my friends like that on a normal basis..NO! But I can see myself saying something silly like that to my BFF. She and I talk about everything, when you are really close with someone you can say anything and your friend doesnt care or think anything of it.



even saying makeup sex and good night honey?


----------



## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

The real issue here, but no one wants to say it... Normally the solution after an A is to limit or eliminate all contact with the opposite sex... If there is an A the only solution will be for her to find friends of an unknown third gender.


----------



## LetDownNTX (Oct 4, 2012)

pickme550r said:


> even saying makeup sex and good night honey?


Sometimes she will message me and say "whats up sexy", to me that's not much different. I have a friend that calls perfect strangers "honey" and "babe".....everyone is different but you know your wife. You should know if its out of character for her!?


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I do talk to my girlfriends dirty. It's mutual and it's not serious.

I don't call them "honey" unless they are upset. Even then, I call them "mama". 

I don't like the "where are you and what are you doing" feeling to these emails. Sounds like my college bf.


----------



## pickme550r (Nov 20, 2012)

that_girl said:


> I do talk to my girlfriends dirty. It's mutual and it's not serious.
> 
> I don't call them "honey" unless they are upset. Even then, I call them "mama".
> 
> I don't like the "where are you and what are you doing" feeling to these emails. Sounds like my college bf.


yea i just ordered the keylogger software wish me luck I will keep you updated.


----------



## Tony55 (Jun 8, 2012)

This email, from the friend, obviously indicates that they had some sort of falling out, it could be written off as nothing but "girl-talk" type joking, but... it's when she mentions "only kidding" in parentheses that it begins to sound like a school boy after a girl. Straight friends wouldn't need to add "only kidding" to an *obvious* joke, but maybe the joke wasn't so obvious.

_"Was just wondering if you got my e-mail. You have not responded. You know my computer works when it wants to so I don't know if you received it.

Well what do you think.............. make up sex (only kidding) miss talking to you.

later"_​

Here the bold text isn't normal. "thinking about you" with a wink, not good.
_Hey, *I'm lying here in bed awake* because (husband) was called into work and I'm just guessing if your sleeping or doing laundry. Lol

*I hope you are able to get some rest.*

Well I was just *thinking about you ...... ; )*
Have a good night- *sweet dreams*
*P.s. Hey if yourre on your computer ....write back *​_
Here she sounds infatuated.
_Well I guess your asleep or watching tv... *Good night honey*​_
You have a problem my friend, maybe not as big as a full blown physical affair... yet, but it's definitely something you need to monitor and prepare yourself for.

Based on the first email it sounds like the OW is the pursuer and the rest tell me that you're wife fell for the play.

T


----------



## pickme550r (Nov 20, 2012)

Tony55 said:


> This email, from the friend, obviously indicates that they had some sort of falling out, it could be written off as nothing but "girl-talk" type joking, but... it's when she mentions "only kidding" in parentheses that it begins to sound like a school boy after a girl. Straight friends wouldn't need to add "only kidding" to an *obvious* joke, but maybe the joke wasn't so obvious.
> 
> _"Was just wondering if you got my e-mail. You have not responded. You know my computer works when it wants to so I don't know if you received it.
> 
> ...


yes, good observation and thank you...the falling out they had came from both of our daughters having an disagreement with each other,thus them having an argument over it.the OW IS deffanlty the pursuer i think i think she was screwed over by her husband somehow in the past and she seems very ruff...yes i just dont understand that email to the OW id does not sound normal to me its sounds more than that...


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

My friend's cousin was married for 4 years before divorcing and becoming full lesbian (looks like a man now and has a nice girlfriend). It can happen so don't think it hasn't happened in this case. Your wife's friend, imo, sounds like she's pursuing your wife and your wife may or may not like the advances. Sometimes it's hard to draw that line with a Same sex friend...you want to keep it friendly because you like them, but they continue to pursue, in which case you have to cut it off.


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Did you get that keylogger installed?


----------



## pickme550r (Nov 20, 2012)

the guy said:


> Did you get that keylogger installed?


not yet it ordered it online...


----------



## pickme550r (Nov 20, 2012)

that_girl said:


> My friend's cousin was married for 4 years before divorcing and becoming full lesbian (looks like a man now and has a nice girlfriend). It can happen so don't think it hasn't happened in this case. Your wife's friend, imo, sounds like she's pursuing your wife and your wife may or may not like the advances. Sometimes it's hard to draw that line with a Same sex friend...you want to keep it friendly because you like them, but they continue to pursue, in which case you have to cut it off.


Yea its does sound like she is pursuing her, hard to tell if my wife like or dislikes the advances ,but the tone of my wifes email doeissint sound like she minds whats going on if anything..


----------



## LookingForTheSun (Dec 28, 2011)

It sounds like she likes the pursuit. She emailed her twice hoping to get to talk to her and kind of bummed because she didn't.

To me, it looks like your wife was pursued (still totally 100% her fault for crossing any line she may have so far), talk of sex and heavy flirting has been going on (the make - up sex comment - which I really think the OW is hoping for), and your wife now waiting by the computer hoping to get a response. I think it is just a matter of a very short time that the sexual line is crossed if something is not done soon. 

That is my take on it.


----------



## pickme550r (Nov 20, 2012)

LookingForTheSun said:


> It sounds like she likes the pursuit. She emailed her twice hoping to get to talk to her and kind of bummed because she didn't.
> 
> To me, it looks like your wife was pursued (still totally 100% her fault for crossing any line she may have so far), talk of sex and heavy flirting has been going on (the make - up sex comment - which I really think the OW is hoping for), and your wife now waiting by the computer hoping to get a response. I think it is just a matter of a very short time that the sexual line is crossed if something is not done soon.
> 
> That is my take on it.


yes I agree, that why i ordered that key logger to get my proof either way...


----------



## Tony55 (Jun 8, 2012)

So, Pickme, have you thought about how you'll respond if it turns out she's having an affair with that woman? Would you be able to forgive her and move forward? In your mind, would an affair with a woman be as bad as one with a man? Where exactly is your line; at what point do you consider it a deal breaker for the marriage?

T


----------



## pickme550r (Nov 20, 2012)

I dont think I would be able to forgive her, it would NOT matter to me if it was a man or women its still cheating..I think it would be over......


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

What has happened?


----------



## pickme550r (Nov 20, 2012)

that_girl said:


> What has happened?


Hi, nothing as of yet i just installed the key logger last night so we shall see...


----------



## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

pickme550r said:


> Hi, nothing as of yet i just installed the key logger last night so we shall see...


Here's hoping the only busting you do is on the job


----------



## mahike (Aug 16, 2011)

Well I hope you are wrong. Did you look at the computer and look at recent photos. Have you looked at your wifes cell phone and phone bills. How many times a day and how long do they talk? How about twxts messages? More then a couple a day is a big red flag.

This also could just be starting and your wife may not know she is being worked. This happened with my SIL.

I would also hide a VAR in your bedroom and the computer area. 

Have you checked to see what web sites your wife is going to? How about her facebook account do you have the password?

I hope you are wrong


----------



## pickme550r (Nov 20, 2012)

mahike said:


> Well I hope you are wrong. Did you look at the computer and look at recent photos. Have you looked at your wifes cell phone and phone bills. How many times a day and how long do they talk? How about twxts messages? More then a couple a day is a big red flag.
> 
> This also could just be starting and your wife may not know she is being worked. This happened with my SIL.
> 
> ...



hey I checked the website and nothing out of the ordinary
they talk probably about 3 times a day, usually alts anywhere from 5 mins to an hour..


----------



## Tony55 (Jun 8, 2012)

pickme550r said:


> hey I checked the website and nothing out of the ordinary
> they talk probably about 3 times a day, usually alts anywhere from 5 mins to an hour..


I wouldn't want my wife talking that often, or that long, with anyone who she calls "honey" and jokes with about "makeup sex".

T


----------



## pickme550r (Nov 20, 2012)

yes i hear that i have the keyloggger installed, have not checked it yet...


----------

