# I married an idiot, but have a baby with him.



## thatgirl12 (Mar 18, 2013)

I got married at 18, and he was 21. We fought constantly, and he deployed 3 months after we got married. Upon visiting him before he deployed, it got violent and he choked me. I got pregnant unknowingly and he deployed. I had 2 abortions with him and 1 miscarriage of twins. He hates me for all of it, but we were broke. I was living a life of hell when he was gone, somehow even from across the earth he isolated me from all my friends and losing them, made me do sex shows on the internet for him, and when he got home he told me that he wanted a divorce after a few weeks prior he said that he wanted to work it out...I went out and bought him a truck, got all dressed up, and got my hair done. He was an absolute ******* and tried to keep his present that I surprised him with. Numerous times in our relationship he has held a gun to my head and when he arrived back suffered from severe PTSD but I still stayed. I actually tried to pack my bags and leave, but he told me that he would kill me if I tried to leave. Most days he was insanely drunk and I am not even sure if he knew what he was. Prior to this during our dating he was totally different, clean, hard working, and wanted to become something. Since he returned in 2010, he has changed quite a bit. We bought a house, and he tried a new role of being "submissive" and "letting" me go to school when I actually signed myself up and said tough **** I'm going. I actually started being the emotionally abusive one, I'd never have sex with him or anything and I was NEVER home and constantly working or with my parents, who I am very close to. 2011 We decided to take a trip to try to save our marriage and I ended up getting pregnant, but at this time didn't know it. I hated living in our house and he had promised for almost a year that he would make the renovations needed, but he always had some excuse or was lying around depressed. We both would take turns going through the depressed phase because we never were content with the other one. So, upon returning from vacation and unknowingly pregnant, I took out a loan and began jack hammering the floor and hiring people to lay tile and do the entire house. My husband has been unable to find secure employment for YEARS because he gets involved with these crazy ponsi schemes like helping his buddies start a restaurant 300 miles away and leaving for 8 months, or something crazy. Well, he was an ******* (imagine that) when I was pregnant and showed no care or concern for what I was going through. He NEVER touched my stomach or tried to connect with our son. 3 1/2 weeks before I was supposed to give birth he got upset at me because I told him I hated his ****ing friend and he should drop dead and I went into the bathroom to cool off. He broke the door down pointed a gun at me and told me I was a stupid ***** and how could I not see how his friend got him a job so he could see his son be born. Then began telling me that he should cut that child out of my stomach so he would never have to have me for a mother. Anyways, we have continuously fought for YEARS. I'm fed up, he is coming back from his second deployment which he voluntarily took and my son is almost a year old in a few days. I have literally done everything including drive every other weekend to see him so that they could spend time together to being a single parent basically while going to school caring for a house a child and two dogs while continuing to renovate a ****ty house. I'm burnt out. My husband says he loves me and has tried to make strides over the years including buying me flowers, jewelry, and other little trinkets...I just don't know if I can even begin to forgive him. I hate him many days and when his best friend comes over, he and I click, even having fantasies about my husband killing himself so we can run away together. We actually talk about my husband and his arrogant family. I'm tired and burnt out. 

In a way I do love him because he gave me our son, but in so many ways, as I said, I hate him. I have made so many strides to improve our life and our son's life, and it feels like all he does is try to take the easy way out by deploying, leaving and doing crazy things to try and make money, instead of going to school like I am, and taking the high road. He has talked about going to school upon his return, but he has done this before. My husband tried online school for a month and quit. It was "too much" and he was taking a sillly history class and also how to take college online 101. In the past I have worked full time gone to school full time 15+ hours, and now I do not work, but I take care of our son, live off of my scholarships, and go to school 15 hours a week. I just feel like I married a loser who will never amount to anything, and I don't know how much longer I'll wait. His family is literally crazy and I can't stand any of them except for his mom. They all think that girls should spread their legs and that's how they elevate themselves by marrying some guy. His sister is a lazy slob with 2 kids and sleeps in all day while her husband works at home while taking care of 2 kids that should be in school but they are fake homeschooled. She makes cakes for a living and then *****es at me why she isn't making my son's cake. I need help...I think I've turned into a crazy bitter woman, and honestly the only reason I stay is for my son. Before my husband left and when I was driving to see him every other weekend with a car full of baby gear and a little small 3 month old infant by myself, we never did anything except fight. I didn't want to have sex with him, and I did twice, one of the times I got pregnant and THANK GOD miscarried. I stopped taking my birth control a few months after my son was born because we had zero sex and I didn't care. Even looking at his private made me want to throw up in my mouth.

Signed, 

Lost mom.


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## thatgirl12 (Mar 18, 2013)

I guess I should have calmed down more when I wrote that. I'm just kind of fed up. He comes home in six days and someone stole my computer at school and he told me tough **** he isn't buying me another one, even though I just helped him buy himself another truck while he was gone, have been feverishly cleaning the house for days, making him a present from my son, and making sure that the dogs are bathed and groomed and the house is perfect when he comes home. No thank you and no appreciation. Its my JOB he tells me and I need to respect him. I just want to know if there is any hope for a sassy mouthed woman raised by an educated family to get along with this type of person? I only have a few more years left of school and if everyone says I can't, well then I'll stick it out and stick the bill to him then leave. After all, he deserves every cent.


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## SaltInWound (Jan 2, 2013)

You say he has severe PTSD, consumes alcohol, and has pointed a gun at you (and while pregnant).

Has he been to counseling?


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## northernlights (Sep 23, 2012)

I'm so sorry.

Your life, and the life of your son, is in danger living with this man. You need to call a domestic violence hot line or meet with someone at a women's shelter who can help you plan to leave this man.


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## d2snow (Mar 17, 2013)

northernlights said:


> I'm so sorry.
> 
> Your life, and the life of your son, is in danger living with this man. You need to call a domestic violence hot line or meet with someone at a women's shelter who can help you plan to leave this man.


Absolutely! You should not accept this kind of behavior from him.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

You need to get yourself out and NOW! Go to the police to file a restraining order and have them direct you to a woman's shelter in another city. They will help you get back on your feet. You will make new friends. It's your job to protect your son and you need to protect him from this monster. You must protect yourself from your very dangerous husband.


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