# Should I be worried?



## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Since I got my iphone 6, I've been texting my wifee daily, telling her she is my sexy lady, soft, and flirting with her. At first she didn't like this but now it seems she does.

I have told her to come out of her shell and let me know her fantasies and fetishes if she has any.

I tell her to let go and whatever pops in her mind, lets do together and that I won't creep out.

So last night, Saturday, we are watching UFC together and I'm keeping the cat busy while she is wrapping Christmas gifts.

Somehow it came up, she asks me, would you like it if we had another woman????

I told her sure......she then smiles, grins and says I only said that to see your reaction.

Moments later, I tell her, you want another woman? She again says I just wanted to see the reaction on your face, she is smiling and grinning.

Now Mrs.CuddleBug has told me, she doesn't know if she has any fantasies or fetishes. She is the one more to creep out and has the much lower sex drive.

If she was only joking, why would she even bring it up? Considering I haven't.

Should I be worried about her bringing up another woman?:scratchhead:


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

hi cuddle ,

Is she BI ?

How long have u been married ?

who is LD and whi is HD?


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

Maybe all this talk about fantasies and fetishes has her wondering if it's really you who wants to start trying your fantasies, so she might be poking to see if you have any. Maybe she picked another woman because it's a common fantasy for guys to have, apparently, and depending how enthusiastic you were in your response would tell her how close she was to the mark of this being one of your fantasies. It doesn't mean she would be willing to try it, or that she has any sexual feelings towards women. I don't think you have anything to be concerned about, but you may have to share some of your own fantasies with her. Make it a two way street, but you may need to start the ball rolling yourself.


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

You said Fantasy. This does not mean acting on it. Don't get all serious. She's just responding to you.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Zouz said:


> hi cuddle ,
> 
> Is she BI ?
> 
> ...



Hi Zouz,


Mrs.CuddleBug has never dated or had sex with a woman or she has never told me, but I don't think she ever has.

I've been married over 15 years now. Most of those 15 years, she was very overweight, insecure and low sex drive. Having sex once a month was the norm for us. Now she has lost alot of weight 50+ lbs, new hair styles, clothes, braces, new glasses, going to the gym 4x week and her sex drive is more 2x week now.

She has always been LD and I always have been HD. We both know this about each other.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

breeze said:


> Maybe all this talk about fantasies and fetishes has her wondering if it's really you who wants to start trying your fantasies, so she might be poking to see if you have any. Maybe she picked another woman because it's a common fantasy for guys to have, apparently, and depending how enthusiastic you were in your response would tell her how close she was to the mark of this being one of your fantasies. It doesn't mean she would be willing to try it, or that she has any sexual feelings towards women. I don't think you have anything to be concerned about, but you may have to share some of your own fantasies with her. Make it a two way street, but you may need to start the ball rolling yourself.



I've told Mrs.CuddleBug I think she is sexy, soft and would like to have breast and foot jobs. Love her oral and cuddling, and I even asked for anal but that is a no no, so I leave that one alone. I have never said to her, I want another woman for us......never. She tells me she likes doggie style and hammers me back hard......she likes it.

So when she brought up another woman jokingly, on her own, I was surprised. Maybe this is a fantasy of hers? Maybe she just figures most guys would love a woman 3 some?


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Q tip said:


> You said Fantasy. This does not mean acting on it. Don't get all serious. She's just responding to you.



The reason I'm ify about this, is because she brought it up on her own, out of the blue. I never mentioned it before, only that she finds fantasies she wants to try to get out of her sexual shell, so our sex life improves. She's been LD vanilla her entire life until this year 2014 was her transformation year for everything and its still going strong.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

If she is interested in this, what do you think? Fantasy only, or perhaps someday reality? At least the fantasy can be fun and exciting all on its own, and lead to sexual banter and play just between the two of you. See where that goes.

Threesomes - fantasy and/or real - can be great, but making it real takes a lot more discussion and preparation, because it's two orders of magnitude more intense and complex than mere fantasy. Tread carefully.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Married but Happy said:


> If she is interested in this, what do you think? Fantasy only, or perhaps someday reality? At least the fantasy can be fun and exciting all on its own, and lead to sexual banter and play just between the two of you. See where that goes.
> 
> Threesomes - fantasy and/or real - can be great, but making it real takes a lot more discussion and preparation, because it's two orders of magnitude more intense and complex than mere fantasy. Tread carefully.



I won't deny that another woman having sex with Mrs.CuddleBug while I have sex with this other woman, all at the same time, would be fantastic, but it is just a fantasy and I've never told her this.

Could be just sexual banter, very true. But for Mrs.CuddleBug, to even say something like that, that is a big step for her. She never talks dirty or sexy to me.

Deep down fantasy of hers? Maybe. Possible reality in a year or so? Maybe. 

If she keeps on transforming and her confidence goes up and up, wants sex more than we are having now, basically everything improves more, then maybe......honestly I don't know at this point.:scratchhead:

And she is the type of woman not to talk about sex.

It's like me out of the blue, suddenly saying to Mrs.CuddleBug, would you like a 3 some with another man? Only reason I would say something like that, is because I'd want to do it. But I'm a HD adventurous guy......so for Mrs.CuddleBug to say that and with another woman, is not the norm for her.

I will continue to tell Mrs.CuddleBug she is sexy, soft, her transformation is amazing, love her straight teeth, new clothes, how they fit her sexy body, give her long kisses holding her check gently, and that she needs to find fantasies that she wants to try with me......and we'll see were this all goes.


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

Not sure why you don't believe her explanation that she just wanted to see your reaction :scratchhead:

More likely that she's telling you the truth than secretly harboring fantasies of bringing another woman into your bed, IMHO


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

always_alone said:


> Not sure why you don't believe her explanation that she just wanted to see your reaction :scratchhead:
> 
> More likely that she's telling you the truth than secretly harboring fantasies of bringing another woman into your bed, IMHO



Because it makes no sense and Mrs.CuddleBug never talks dirty or about sex with me. She's been that way our entire marriage.

Could be a deep down fantasy of hers? Maybe.

She could be more worried how I'd react.....but since I didn't freak out at all.....she was smiling and grinning when she suggested it and I asked her again, woman 3 some and she was grinning, smiling and said I wanted to see your reaction and on your face.

I could text her, saying I'm cool with that if it is a fantasy of hers.....but Mrs.CuddleBug doesn't like to talk about sex or even talk dirty, she never does.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Any chance it's a sh!t test?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

lifeistooshort said:


> Any chance it's a sh!t test?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



I never talk about other women with Mrs.CuddleBug unless its a coworker, someone at her work.

When we go out, I don't "look" at them either.

Is it a sh$t test? I doubt it.

I've been texting Mrs.CuddleBug all day, she's at work, and I added that a fantasy of mine is another woman with us and that I'm not bringing that up again. Then we're just chatting about her day, work, etc. 

Now when I asked her could we do anal sex, she immediately freaked and said NO!!! Texting or in person.

When I texted her about another woman for us, there was no freaking out or saying no, or anything for that matter.

That tells me she isn't against it like she is with anal sex.

I'm not going to read too much into this and I'll just figure its sexual banter as her transformation continues.


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## that.girl (Aug 27, 2014)

Sounds like she's testing the waters with what she's comfortable talking about.

I'd recommend assuming it's just a fantasy, and encouraging the talking. Maybe when she's already feeling a little frisky, playfully asking something like, "So if there was another woman, what would you want to do with her?"

This may help you figure out what's going on in her head, and also lead the two of you to a little fun.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

that.girl said:


> Sounds like she's testing the waters with what she's comfortable talking about.
> 
> I'd recommend assuming it's just a fantasy, and encouraging the talking. Maybe when she's already feeling a little frisky, playfully asking something like, "So if there was another woman, what would you want to do with her?"
> 
> This may help you figure out what's going on in her head, and also lead the two of you to a little fun.



I agree and I think you nailed it.:iagree:

I am putting the woman 3 some out of my mind and its only sexual banter as her transformation continues.

If Mrs.CuddleBug asks me, what would I do with this other woman? I would say, this other woman would be for you. She would give Mrs.CuddleBug oral to orgasm missionary and 69 while I doggie style this other woman watching Mrs.CuddleBugs facial reactions......but again, just a fantasy and nothing more.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Ok, just had to ask.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that.girl (Aug 27, 2014)

Take it easy on talking about you having sex with the other woman for a while - start at the novice level and work your way there. If this is awkward for her, putting that mental image in her head might backfire.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

lifeistooshort said:


> Ok, just had to ask.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



No prob. Being honest.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

that.girl said:


> Take it easy on talking about you having sex with the other woman for a while - start at the novice level and work your way there. If this is awkward for her, putting that mental image in her head might backfire.



I'm not mentioning it again to Mrs.CuddleBug. I let her know my fantasy about another woman for us and that I'm not bringing it up again.

She didn't freak out and say NO, like when I asked about anal sex.

If she's really against something, she tells me.

If Mrs.CuddleBug asks me again, then I will tell her, otherwise I'm not saying anything about the subject with her.


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## that.girl (Aug 27, 2014)

What i mean to say is, often when women fantasize about a threesome, their husband does not actually have sex with the other woman. If you do get her talking dirty, perhaps describe a scene where only SHE gets that particular privilege.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

that.girl said:


> What i mean to say is, often when women fantasize about a threesome, their husband does not actually have sex with the other woman. If you do get her talking dirty, perhaps describe a scene where only SHE gets that particular privilege.



Yeah, that's a good point. Another man almost always means he's doing your wife but another woman could be for her while you watch.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

that.girl said:


> What i mean to say is, often when women fantasize about a threesome, their husband does not actually have sex with the other woman. If you do get her talking dirty, perhaps describe a scene where only SHE gets that particular privilege.



I hear yah but it would be for all three of us at the same time or nada. No one would be left out.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

lifeistooshort said:


> Yeah, that's a good point. Another man almost always means he's doing your wife but another woman could be for her while you watch.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



It would be for all or no one. Being fair and all.


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

I'm confused, are you talking about her fantasies or planning on a threesome?


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

TiggyBlue said:


> I'm confused, are you talking about her fantasies or planning on a threesome?



This is what Mrs.CuddleBug told me yesterday while we were watching UFC and wrapping Christmas gifts......would you want another woman for us? I told her sure......she grinned, smiled and said I was waiting to see how you'd react and look. I asked her again, another woman then? She said she wanted to see how I'd react and the look on my face......

You must realize she said this on her own. I have never mentioned to her I would like another woman as one of my fantasies. Mrs.CuddleBug said this on her own, and out of the blue.

This is not like her because she never talks dirty or about sex.

My guess and advice from everyone is that she is getting out of her shell a bit and starting to grow, with the weight loss and transformation that is on going.

I let her know I'm game for another woman and that I'm not mentioning it again. She never got mad or freaked or said NO, like she did when I asked for anal sex.

I'm not reading too much into this at this point.

It's jut nice to see Mrs.CuddleBug start to really grow in 2014 instead of the 15 years prior of nothing.


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

I think that she is just testing the water ; it could be that she has such a fantasy is true but I don't believe that she will go for applying it just like that .

may be she is checking if this is one of your fantasies ; as an expression that she wants to please you.


I beleieve you don't have a prob have a thresome ; but she might or might not be ready for it ....

My advise to you is to forget about it ; and see if she asks for it again. 

If you are happy the ay it is now , just forget about it ; it might be a mine ...


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Perhaps your wife is somewhat reserved when talking about sex because anything she brings up leads you to days of rampant, even slightly manic, speculation? 

Dude. Your wife asked you a question, told you why she did, and instead of accepting her reasons you've spent hours and hours overthinking the whole situation. Are you normally this hyperactive?


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening cudddlebug
She is starting to tell you her fantasies - and that's fantastic. Encourage her, and tell her some of yours. Life is much better if you can openly discuss these things.

If it turns out that she really wants another woman, then you can have a much more lengthy discussion at that point.

(and yes, most guys would jump at the opportunity - but that doesn't mean that you have to).


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

CuddleBug said:


> Because it makes no sense and Mrs.CuddleBug never talks dirty or about sex with me. She's been that way our entire marriage.
> 
> Could be a deep down fantasy of hers? Maybe.
> 
> She could be more worried how I'd react.....but since I didn't freak out at all.....she was smiling and grinning when she suggested it and I asked her again, woman 3 some and she was grinning, smiling and said I wanted to see your reaction and on your face.


What doesn't make sense? It seems simple enough to me. She's not talking dirty or making an offer -- she's just testing your reaction. Like she said.

And clearly this is a big-time fantasy for you, as you can't seem to let it go. But I wouldn't count on it being a big-time one for her. Only if she has bi-sexual proclivities.

Otherwise, she might be wondering how you'll react to the idea of an MMF. That may be the next question.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

I'm going to put this out of my mind and forget about it. Probably a good thing.

I think what everyone here says is correct. She is testing the waters, seeing how I'd react, coming out of her shell a bit, and maybe a fantasy of hers.

You know how many times Mrs.CuddleBug has talked dirty to me or about her fantasies in our 15+ years of marriage......once, now its twice.

If she was like the ladies on TAM, HD, adventurous, then this would be sexual banter in my books but she is LD vanilla.

Anyway, its nice to see Mrs.CuddleBug starting to shed all the insecurities and issues she's had her entire life. This is great.

And for the record....one last time.....I have never brought up a 3 some with Mrs.CuddleBug before. This was on her own accord and out of the blue.

I do have fantasies, yes, true, but I don't tell them to my wifee because she is shy, insecure, LD, doesn't talk dirty or about sex. She was like this from day one we started dating.


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

Again, she's responding to you. She feels comfortable. It's just fantasy.

Read up on Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011. Will give you insights you really never realized.


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## jmsclayton (Sep 5, 2010)

Hi Cuddlebug

responses below yours. 

And for the record....one last time.....I have never brought up a 3 some with Mrs.CuddleBug before. This was on her own accord and out of the blue

Judith: YOu need to find out what she is thinking with this and ask her if she could handle sharing you with another. I have seen even on here when the spouse tried it it destroyed the marriage. Children will inform you that they dont want their parents to share each other with another. Just ask children who saw their parents have an affair and how the children struggle to stop it etc. 
I know my parents had emotional affairs. I told my mother to put a stop to it. 
It bothered me and pained me that my parents were not connected to each other. 
She also probably watching your reaction to see how you will respond to it and if you have thought it as well. YOu need to inform her of the pros and cons of what will happen with the two of you. Finish below. 

I think what everyone here says is correct. She is testing the waters, seeing how I'd react, coming out of her shell a bit, and maybe a fantasy of hers.

Judith: Agree but I have seen on here in TAM those that have done it that it has destroyed the relationship and the children suffered as a result. 

You know how many times Mrs.CuddleBug has talked dirty to me or about her fantasies in our 15+ years of marriage......once, now its twice.

If she was like the ladies on TAM, HD, adventurous, then this would be sexual banter in my books but she is LD vanilla.

Juidth: Give her time cuddlebug. Dont rush it. YOu both are in your 30s so. You have plenty of time

Anyway, its nice to see Mrs.CuddleBug starting to shed all the insecurities and issues she's had her entire life. This is great.

Judith: that is good

And for the record....one last time.....I have never brought up a 3 some with Mrs.CuddleBug before. This was on her own accord and out of the blue.

Judith; I understand and agree but the thing is she probably was also seeing if you have ever thought of it at all ever. 

I do have fantasies, yes, true, but I don't tell them to my wifee because she is shy, insecure, LD, doesn't talk dirty or about sex. She was like this from day one we started dating.

Judith; But you do need to talk about sex outside of the bedroom like money. it is recommended by others like professionals


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Q tip said:


> Again, she's responding to you. She feels comfortable. It's just fantasy.
> 
> Read up on Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011. Will give you insights you really never realized.



Your logic makes no sense.:scratchhead:

If I never told Mrs.CuddleBug about that FFM 3 some fantasy of mine before, she wouldn't of known about it.

Since she never knew about it, yet brought it up on her own and out of the blue, this is a fantasy of hers that she wanted to see how I'd react about.

If I would of told Mrs.CuddleBug before, then you are correct, but I never did.

Is my wifee telepathic now?!


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

jmsclayton said:


> Hi Cuddlebug
> 
> responses below yours.
> 
> ...




I'm not going to bring up that fantasy of mine again. Its done and buried.

I honestly think she is coming out of her shell bit by bit and spoke her mind at that moment and to see how I'd react to her speaking her mind. Maybe she thought I'd over react and get mad? Yet I have told Mrs.CuddleBug countless times I don'tr creep out and would welcome her fantasies.

I have asked her countless times, what are your fantasies? She tells me, I don't know..........

If I talk to her about sex and flirty, dirty talk, she doesn't like that.

I will continue to talk with her, flirty, sexy, compliments on her changes, she looks great, text her at work, etc. But she does get almost annoyed and doesn't want me to do these things......so I stop.

I have given her from the time we were dating, getting married for over 15+ years to present day. I would say, that's more than enough time and its ridiculous at this point. I would almost say being LD is a mental disorder and from past abuses, be it physical or verbal.

If Mrs.CuddleBug's already low sex drive gets even worse when menopause hits, I can 99% guarantee you we will be divorced. 15+ years of LD vanilla was enough, but not another 15+ years.....that's a lifetime wasted with a LD woman.

Money and jobs come and go. But that physical and sexual, intimate connection is what hubby and wifee share and keeps us bonded though the good and bad times. More than room mates and friends.

I have learned when you get married, your body is not your own anymore. Your body is your wife's and your wife's body is yours. We are to take care of each others needs as our own and not what we only want........


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

CuddleBug said:


> Your logic makes no sense.:scratchhead:
> 
> If I never told Mrs.CuddleBug about that FFM 3 some fantasy of mine before, she wouldn't of known about it.
> 
> ...


Wow.

Please reread your first post. You clearly stated that you asked her for her fantasies.  She merely responded to you. That's what women do.

Read the book MMSLP. You'll enjoy it


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Q tip said:


> Wow.
> 
> Please reread your first post. You clearly stated that you asked her for her fantasies. She merely responded to you. That's what women do.
> 
> Read the book MMSLP. You'll enjoy it



Nope, never ever told Mrs.CuddleBug about my fantasy FFM.

Yes, I asked her for her fantasies, very true. Notice I asked her for her fantasies....not mine. I didn't say these are my fantasies and then asked her what hers are, see?

She brought it up out of the blue......only then did I say, okay. 

If she never would of brought it up, neither would I and she would never of known about it.

There is no way she could be merely responding to me, since she never knew in the first place.

You see what I am saying? She doesn't read minds, she isn't a mind reader. If I say nothing, she won't know. If I do talk to her, then she knows....see? And that goes for her to me as well. I don't read her mind, so if bring up that I love to nibble breasts, and she then says, okay......I know its something she would like and she actually does.

I will check out the MMSLP, thx.


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## chaos (Mar 9, 2012)

that.girl said:


> Sounds like she's testing the waters with what she's comfortable talking about.
> 
> I'd recommend assuming it's just a fantasy, and encouraging the talking. Maybe when she's already feeling a little frisky, playfully asking something like, "So if there was another woman, what would you want to do with her?"
> 
> This may help you figure out what's going on in her head, and also lead the two of you to a little fun.


:iagree:


Have you expressed to your wife that you only want to create an emotionally safe environment where the two of you can share your deepest thoughts and feelings without fear of being judged or punished?


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## that.girl (Aug 27, 2014)

CuddleBug said:


> Nope, never ever told Mrs.CuddleBug about my fantasy FFM.


You don't have to tell her, she knows. You're a guy, she assumes you'd like the idea. 

Don't overthink it. Her bringing it up doesn't necessarily mean she's been thinking about it a lot. Just chill out and let her move forward at her own pace.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

I respect my wifee and will never push her into one of my fantasies. Just a no no in my books.

She doesn't want to try anal sex. I never brought it up again.

She never freaked out or said NO about a FFM but I still never brought it up again.

If she has any fantasies, I am open to them, she knows this, to get her out of her shell. Maybe she does and maybe she doesn't.

Heh, Im a guy yup.

Horn dawg HD adventurous.

Will do. If she brings it up again, okay but if not, no problem.

I have never freaked on my wifee about her talking to me dirty, her fantasies or anything like that. She knows I am HD adventurous and don't creep out. Mrs.CuddleBug is the LD vanilla one that does creep out easily and is still insecure. So I usually don't talk dirty to her, about sex or my fantasies at all.

I hope one day she gets a sex drive boost to normal levels, like all the lovely ladies here and on TAM.


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