# How To Encourage More Communication...



## Celtic (Apr 7, 2017)

...but without sounding too desperate or needy? I'm asking for a ladies perspective on this as a vast majority of online advice seems to focus on the man not communicating.

I've been seeing a really nice woman for the past couple of weeks and when we're together the spark is definitely there so to speak. We've told each other how much we like each other and I'm pretty sure we're exclusive but due to work commitments we don't always get to see each other for more than two or three times a week. Hence a lot of our communication is done via text or mail but getting anything more than the bare basics out of her is like getting blood from a stone.

She doesn't ask questions to encourage a conversation (though she will respond to mine) nor does she initiate unless I write to her first. I keep things light, humorous and brief during working hours and a little sentimental in the evenings but even then her responses are hardly engaging. I get that some people aren't good at written communication. Personally I love it but perhaps I'm the one who needs to be more interesting so ladies of TAM: what do you suggest some actions I take?


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Celtic said:


> ...but without sounding too desperate or needy? I'm asking for a ladies perspective on this as a vast majority of online advice seems to focus on the man not communicating.
> 
> I've been seeing a really nice woman for the past couple of weeks and when we're together the spark is definitely there so to speak. We've told each other how much we like each other and I'm pretty sure we're exclusive but due to work commitments we don't always get to see each other for more than two or three times a week. Hence a lot of our communication is done via text or mail but getting anything more than the bare basics out of her is like getting blood from a stone.
> 
> She doesn't ask questions to encourage a conversation (though she will respond to mine) nor does she initiate unless I write to her first. I keep things light, humorous and brief during working hours and a little sentimental in the evenings but even then her responses are hardly engaging. I get that some people aren't good at written communication. Personally I love it but perhaps I'm the one who needs to be more interesting so ladies of TAM: what do you suggest some actions I take?


Ok I'm not a lady but can I make one suggestion.
RING HER!
Why does everyone think a text is a way of communication suitable for romancing a would be partner.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Celtic said:


> ...but without sounding too desperate or needy? I'm asking for a ladies perspective on this as a vast majority of online advice seems to focus on the man not communicating.
> 
> I've been seeing a really nice woman for the past couple of weeks and when we're together the spark is definitely there so to speak. We've told each other how much we like each other and I'm pretty sure we're exclusive but due to work commitments we don't always get to see each other for more than two or three times a week. Hence a lot of our communication is done via text or mail but getting anything more than the bare basics out of her is like getting blood from a stone.
> 
> She doesn't ask questions to encourage a conversation (though she will respond to mine) nor does she initiate unless I write to her first. I keep things light, humorous and brief during working hours and a little sentimental in the evenings but even then her responses are hardly engaging. I get that some people aren't good at written communication. Personally I love it but perhaps I'm the one who needs to be more interesting so ladies of TAM: what do you suggest some actions I take?


Some people aren't texters. Some would prefer a phone call.

Seeing each other 2 or 3 times a week should be plenty for a new relationship, even maybe too much. 

It is impossible to gauge if she is as into you as you are into her from what you've shared. 

In my experience, a man needs to pursue me pretty hard to get closer to me. Texting me wouldn't necessarily count as pursuit in my book. 

I'm not saying you should pursue more necessarily, I'm just saying that's what it would take for me to become more and more interested. At the same time, if there's too much pursuit or seeing each other too much in the very beginning I may end up pulling back a little. Things need to be paced nicely.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

Celtic said:


> I'm pretty sure we're exclusive[...]


Youre pretty sure? You don't know? Have you made it clear to each other that you're exclusive? Because if you haven't, then you're not. 



Celtic said:


> [...] getting anything more than the bare basics out of her is like getting blood from a stone.
> 
> She doesn't ask questions to encourage a conversation (though she will respond to mine) nor does she initiate unless I write to her first.


Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but IMO she's just not that into you. When I dated men that I was just getting to know, if they were too busy and I could only communicate through text, I just couldn't build a good rapport. I knew it wasn't going to work. If I could see them often enough, then I'd have no problem striking up a text conversation or calling them and they'd do the same. 

When someone doesn't ask as many questions as you ask, it means they aren't all that interested in learning about you. 

Communicating when dating is a two-way street. Not all your job. If she sucks at communicating, think about the future, knock on effects that may have.

Sorry if this seems all negative, it's JMO.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Satya said:


> Youre pretty sure? You don't know? Have you made it clear to each other that you're exclusive? Because if you haven't, then you're not.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


This!


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Celtic said:


> ...but without sounding *too desperate or needy*?
> 
> I've been seeing a really nice woman for the *past couple of weeks* and when we're together the spark is definitely there so to speak. We've told each other how much we like each other and *I'm pretty sure we're exclusive* but due to work commitments we don't always get to see each other for *more than two or three times a week*.


Ok, I stopped here. You've only been dating for TWO weeks, you already want to be EXCLUSIVE, and you're already seeing each other two or three times a WEEK? And you don't want to sound needy?


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