# Lost & Confused



## bobman70 (May 13, 2010)

I see from reading several posts that I am not necessarily alone with my problem. My wife has battled depression as long as I have known her- going on 24 years, we've been together 12, married 5 next month. She was also abused by a stepparent as a child. But this latest episode really has me bewildered. She has insisted on contacting her old Freshman year of high school boyfriend. This came about because of finding him on facebook. She wants to know why he broke up with her, does he still care for her, and does she still hold a special spot in his heart. She talks in circles. She messenged him about something else and he said hi then she messenged him about these questions and he has continued to ignore her. She says she is obssesed in knowing the answers. I tell her he has given his answer and what if she doesn't get the answers she expects? Which would be he still loves her and would like to get back together. She says that no that would never happen. So Why does she need to know so badly? I know her x and he talks about his current girlfriend and that he is the happiest he has been ever. Our relationship upto this point had hit a new high. Things were better than they had been our entire time together. The one downer was that she was laid off in Jan. But I was more than able to pick up extra work at my job so she actually could be a stay at home Mom. We have two kids 12 & 4. Our intimacy has been the best yet she has these thoughts. She is loving one minute then totally cold the next. I told her tonight that if we were going to make us stronger we needed to work through this together and that just as much as she needs to know things are stable and secure I need to know she still cares for me. The response I got was I can't do or promise anything as something may come to light at my therapist appt tomorrow and that may make anything I do before I get this worked out as fake and I don't want that. She made this appointments after a recent breakdown, before she had not been in months and was doing fine. She had meds but is at the maximum doseage already.... Is things like this a normal depression or OCD symptom? Or am I being played for a sucker? Not an hour before this she was very sympathetic that she is causing me this pain and was loving. Anyone that can help me understand I would greatly appreciate the info.


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