# Afraid to tell



## brokenflowers08 (Sep 11, 2014)

So I've been seeing this guy for about a month and things are going well. We really like each other. He said I was the first person he's liked in awhile. We have a similar background in that our last relationship was 5 years and then we've both been single the last year. The only difference is that I was divorced after a short lived marriage. He lived with a girl. Both of us were cheated on. I'm afraid to share that I've been married because I don't want to scare him away but I know I'll have to tell him eventually. I want to be honest but it seems like some guys see it as a scarlet letter. Should I bring it up soon or wait until the right moment? Any advice?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

I'd mention it as soon as possible. If it runs him off then oh well... at least you won't have to waste any more of your time w/ him.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Don't sell yourself short brokenflowers08. Being married before doesn't make you a lessor person does it? Don't let personal insecurities sabotage this being an honest relationship. If he's a guy worth being with then he's a guy worth letting know you. You need to realize that he has skeletons too. Different skeletons but they are there none the less.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

He lived with someone... for how long? So why are you concerned about having been married? He was not shy to tell you that he lived with someone.

Just tell him. You will find out a lot about him when you do. Hopefully it will be good.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Gee I would have thought as soon as he asked if you were single you would have said yes, I'm divorced. Now after a month you still haven't mentioned it, if I was the guy I would think that very odd, probably raise a red flag and make me start asking lots of questions.

You need to tell him asap, don't be surprised if he's a little put off at this point. You need to be honest or you're building on a shaky foundation.


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## Jane139 (Jan 6, 2015)

You can tell,him and say you did not mention it sooner because it is a painful topic for you, which it seems to be in one way or another. If you like this guy, tell him you feel disappointed with yourself that you ended up being married and divorced...it is not an unusual emotion. People intend to stay married forever, that is the basic agreement. Not sharing it right away is not a "crime". If he sees it that way, he is probably going to be unyielding in other ways that would make him a bad partner.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

I agree with others, you should be confident in telling him immediately, before you go any further. 

Why are you afraid of sharing the fact that you have/had a life with another. It's a fundamental part of who you are. Why do you need to feel sorry or guilty about it? 

Don't hang all your hopes on one man and let fear guide your decision-making. IF he left you over your past, so be it. Just means he was not the one for you.


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## Morcoll (Apr 22, 2015)

The longer you wait to tell him, the more he will question your truthfulness when you do.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Are you really young and is that the source of embarrassment? Does he have strong feelings about marriage and it being a one and done thing? Or important to him that it be a mutual first time shared experience? 

Guess I'm trying to understand why you're embarrassed and why you think he may overreact.


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