# I dont want my marriage to end but I screwed up



## want2behappy (Dec 6, 2010)

Hello,
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About a year and a half ago my husband and I split for a brief time and I got myself in a mess with someone. I am not a sexual personal at all but somehow when we separated my hormones were raging and I went to Florida and visited his cousin and her husband. Her husband (John) started coming on to me and I dont know what the hell got into me but I ended up sending him explicit sexual texts. About a day after I realized the nonsense I was doing and told him I don't want to go there with him and it was a mistake and I dont know what I was thinking. We never touched, kissed or was intimate at all, all we had were sexual conversations and about two texts which took place over about a week.

John got mad when I told him I dont want to be involved with him and said he wasnt deleting the texts and its his to do whatever he wants. Well I have been paranoid ever since because I thought he would tell his wife or my husband but then I was thinking he wouldnt want to ruin his marriage for me esp since he never had sex with me.I was wrong - he sent the texts to my husband and phone records to back it up and all this time my husband has been holding it in waiting for me to come clean.

He finally confronted me with it this weekend and of course I didnt want to admit to it in the beginning so that made me look like a liar. He told my husband that I had sex with him and my husband believes him because he said that no one would be so obsessed or go to such lengths without having sex with me - I dont blame him because I would think the same. Now he says he doesnt love me anymore and checked out of the marriage about 2 years ago. I begged him to give us until our anniversary in Feb but he never really answered me and wants to breakup. I dont want my marriage to end but I dont think that 2 months is enough.

I dont want to end my marriage but I dont think 2 months is enough to work it out and my husband just wants to call it quits. Do you think I should hang in for the 2 months to see what happens? 

Thanks so much for reading my post.


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

It might still be possible to save your marriage, but it won't be totally repaired in 2 months. If you want to try, go to counseling or pick up books about surviving affair and strengthening your marriage. 

He says he checked out 2 years ago and you split for a short time, so there is probably a lot to try to figure out and fix. You would probably have to do most of the work relationship wise until he is able to reconnect. 

Best of Luck.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Demand that "John" take a polygraph. Personally, I think he is a scumbag.


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## cdbaker (Nov 5, 2010)

For the record, John isn't the issue here. The issue is trust, among other issues that led to your separation in the beginning. John is really, truly irrelevant here.

Look up "Winning your Husband back before its too late" by Gary Smalley. I read the version for men seeking to win their wives back and it was truly an amazing book. If you really want to save your marriage, then believe me it can be done alone. It's worth the $10, and I don't think you'll regret it.


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

At this point you need to expose the lie to the entire family and demand a polygraph of John and you.

Without exposure your husband is lost to you. You've been effectively framed by John.


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