# Mojo



## ilovechocolate (Jan 16, 2012)

My H ow was a downgrade - plain, frumpy, and flat (god I sound *****y) but it s true - however I ve lost all my self confidence now . So was wondering for people well on their way to R - how do you do it? How do you pick yourself up and dust yourself down ? 
How do you get your mojo back ?


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

Same here my Hs EA partner was a real trout but my confidence and self esteem have taken a real blow. I've never really had a lot of self confidence.
But I keep reminding myself that this was NOT my fault. He chose to have an AE and she chose to be a marriage wrecker ( mine and her own) this thought alone sometimes 
Makes me feel better about myself as I know I have nothing to feel ashamed about.
Otherwise, I've lost 14lb, had a haircut and started wearing trendy clothes again (and he's noticed big time). I Excersise and talk to friends, I keep my house clean and tidy and I have become a better parent, investing all the love and affection I used to give to him and piling it on my kids and that makes me feel great.
I also tell myself everyday that despite being 41 with 3 kids I am worthy of love and if he is stupid enough to throw that away then that is his loss. I will find someone else one day and the only regrets will be his.
Xx
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Just try to remember, it wasn't about you. OW is cheap and easy and willing to spread her legs. It's all about outside validation.


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## river rat (Jan 20, 2012)

You decide the direction you want to take and then put one foot in front of the other. Do the things that take care of you. Pursue your interests. Get healthy. It's a long journey, so start now.


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

You get it back when after you poop you tell your WS, "hey I just made another you and it is the seventh one this week".


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## mahike (Aug 16, 2011)

It hits guys as well. It was shaken for awhile. When i compare myself to the POSM now I just shake my head and go huh.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

And if he had been married to another woman, he would have cheated on her as well. As lordmayhem said, it isn't about you, it's about his fragile ego that needed outside validation to make himself feel better about himself as a man.


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## cpacan (Jan 2, 2012)

mahike said:


> It hits guys as well. It was shaken for awhile. When i compare myself to the POSM now I just shake my head and go huh.


Of course it hits guys - our manhood gets questionned. I am there my self - trying to make my self more attractive, exercise, loose weight and try to strengthen my alpha traits. Awareness is key I think.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Self improvement is key because you are taking your own happiness in your own hands- where it belongs.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Oh gosh, don't look at it as a downgrade.
He only chose her because she was 'manageable' that is he was probably the only person giving her any compliments, etc. so easy to hook. It's not looks and hotness that attracts some men, it's being able to be in control and stay in the driver's seat and keep their W from being suspicious. A woman always tends to be suspicious of other hot women, who would be suspicious of someone your H can say is unattractive and be believable?


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## ishe? (Apr 1, 2011)

Yep... This is my wh and his ow to a T
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ilovechocolate (Jan 16, 2012)

Well I ve signed up for a half marathon (oct). Kill or cure I reakon - can t run further that end of the street at the moment so needed to chuck myself in to some thing head first ! Booked in for cut and colour and am now looking for yoga classes - screw him, let him see what he WILL lose if he puts one foot out of line again. 
Thanks for replies especially morituri - think you re right, he might have cheated no matter what.


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