# Fear of flying



## amillionpieces85 (Jul 23, 2011)

Hello all,
This is completely off topic, but I would love some advice. My husband and I have been apart for three months now and I should be flying next week to California to see him. Problem is, I have a crippling fear of flying. It's already eating at me, I can't sleep, eat or think. And the moment I see or hear an airplane I start to hyperventilate. I really am trying to avoid bringing this up with him but unfortunately that seems inevitable. I have been looking online for a train ride (never done this) from FL to Cali (far I know) but I was only available to find Amtrak. Any advice or suggestions anyone. Also, I looked into road tripping but I am new in the states so I don't think that would be a good idea for me. I've tried sleeping meds on plane rides before but to no avail. The last time I was in a plane was three months ago, it was a 30 minute flight and I felt as though it was eternity, unfortunately my case gets worst with time  please help.


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## chiben (Jun 26, 2012)

How did you two end up in two opposite sides of the country to start with? Can he come and see you? Why are you apart?


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

I am an airline pilot and I fly about 1,000 flights per year. I know the data doesn't help you, but by far the most dangerous thing you will do when you fly on an airplane is drive to the airport in a car!

You said you tried sleeping pills, but have you tried an anti-anxiety med? Your doc can prescribe something like Valium which will take away the emotional part of the fear. Twice they've given me some before a surgery, and I remember how all of the anxiety or fear completely went away.

For the future, you can try seeing a psychologist who specializes in phobias. Your kind of fear has gotten to the point where it interferes with your needs. A good way to get over your fear is to learn about how airplanes work. The fear of flying is usually a fear of crashing, or a fear of loss of control. As passenger you don't have control over the airplane, and you don't understand how it flies. Taking flying lessons is truly a good way to get over your phobia. Do the ground school and then start the flight lessons. You don't even have to get off the ground until you are ready for it. Work with a psychologist and find an experienced professional flight instructor.

True story: Way back 25 years ago I started to get a bit of anxiety over flying. This was before I had my pilot license. I had a desk job which required taking an airline trip every couple of weeks. It got to the point of being uncomfortable. So I decided to attack the anxiety by taking flying lessons. Three years later I owned a little airplane, and then a couple years later I switched careers to aviation. I am now a Captain with a national airline.

You can beat the phobia! In the short term see your doc about some meds.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

Have you tried Advil PM specifically? That stuff is awesome and makes me sleep very well.


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## amillionpieces85 (Jul 23, 2011)

Chiben - We are in different states because we are moving to California, we've been apart for 3 months, I was supposed to go numerous times but kept postponing because of my fear ... :/ 

Thor - thank you so much, that really did help somewhat. I've actually read online alot about flying, have looked into courses to help relieve my anxiety and fears. I have taken medications before (sleeping meds) in order to relax, but unfortunately those havent worked. I would love something that would knock me out completely for the entire 5 1/2 hrs from FL to CA. 
I was never like this, but what got my fear started is "Air Crash Investigation" show. Ugh, I wish I never watched it. It just irritated me that some major airlines crashed over some simple things ...  AND then to top it all off was the AirFrance 447 crash (major airline obviously) - another "simple" accident because of some malfunctions in the pivot tubes ... 
Some people say I should learn some more about flying so I can relax, but it's frustrating to actually know so much about what goes on up there, now when I travel I feel as though Im almost in the cabin, and it kinda urks me. Not knowing was better .. 
But thanks again, I will definetely look into what you suggested and I do hope I dont bail out again on my flight next week ... 

Gabriel - I have not. I used to take NyQuil, it works wonders, but then after a while I just cannot sleep on a plane anymore. I will definetely try the Advil though. Maybe I'll purchase it this week and try it before I fly, see how effective it is.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

If anything know this- the chances of you dying in a car crash on the way to the airport are much much higher than an airplane crash. Same with drowning in your own tub or some other common accident. If you had to submit your car to the same safeguards that planes get you'd probably pay an extra $30k a year and wait around a lot as someone inspects your car before each trip.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

What do you mean only find AMTRAK? Of course.


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## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

My sister has been scared of heights since we were kids, and she's horrified of flying. She started taking some drug from a doc a few years ago, and now she's okay with it. I don't recall what she takes, but maybe you could ask a doc?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> What do you mean only find AMTRAK? Of course.


Hobo Joe disagrees


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I'm not afraid of flying, but i can NOT sleep on a plane unless I take Flexeril. It's a prescription muscle relaxant.


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## Count of Monte Cristo (Mar 21, 2012)

Sounds more like you have a fear of dying. No one gets out alive -- when your number is up it's up.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Count of Monte Cristo said:


> Sounds more like you have a fear of dying. No one gets out alive -- when your number is up it's up.


As a pilot I used to joke with my copilots all the time by saying - well, maybe our number isn't up, but what if passenger #3's IS?!!?!!


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## Count of Monte Cristo (Mar 21, 2012)

I used to get really nervous about flying, especially when the plane would become jerky. I got over my fears by taking my cues from the flight crew. If the plane was bobbing up and down and they were carrying on like it was no big deal then I felt perfectly safe. After all, they've been through this hundreds of times so everything must be fine.

(Of course, if they started grabbing their parachutes then I knew we were in serious trouble. :lol


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Yes, I would always tell our passengers that when they see me tighten my seatbelt really tight...they should do the same! And if I look scared then it's probably pretty bad! LOL


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## carpenoctem (Jul 4, 2012)

_Posted via Mobile Device_

The engines stopping mid-air - and having to *jump to my conclusion *- a fear of mine too.


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## carpenoctem (Jul 4, 2012)

_Posted via Mobile Device_

I am told if you fly Business Class, if your parachute does not open, *they'd give you another one.*


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