# Crazy dilemma with 4 month pregnant girlfriend



## dannyb77 (Jun 11, 2013)

I'm in a relationship with a woman who is my age ( late 30's) 
She is pregnant with 4 months pregnant with my child. I really want to be there for her, my unborn child, and her child from a previous marriage.n

The issue is, she has had numerous people ( all friends of hers) try to break up our relationship. 

First there was a friend who would constantly try to ruin our dates. A friend who felt she had control over my girl. It was almost like this woman had an obsession with my girl. I still think that friend may have been a lesbian.

Then her former husband has tried to get her with him again. 

Her sister's former husband has even tried to get my girl to spend a lot of time with him. Even asked her to go with him to his lake house 3.5 hours away for the city she lives in. Not to mention he wanted my girl to spend the night with him at the lake house. 

Now the main issue is with her best fried who dates men who aren't spectacular at all. This friend has constantly tried to get my girl to forget about me when me and my girl has argued in the past. 

My girl has a personality I can deal with, but after speaking to her friend at times, my girl becomes someone else. 

I'm a college graduate working a job that isn't too great. I believe her friend uses that against me. I earn and honest living. 

My girlfriends friend is a drug abuser who prefers my girl dates someone that either does drugs or isn't too fond of living a clean life. 

I'm a lame in my girls friends mind. There are things me and my girl agreed we will do when we got into a relationship. Her friend has done all to see me and my girls agreements as irrational. 

Me and my girl share some of the same rules concerning dating. Her friend's views are different. I believe her friend uses my girls vulnerability at times to influence her. 

Me and my girl broke up a few months ago ( before she was pregnant) for a few days. Her friend didn't hesitate to try to hook my girl with a drug dealer,criminal and drug user who is now in jail or prison for drug, possessing a firearm while being a convicted felon, and possessing a firearm while in the act of doing a crime. 

My girls friend only dates men who are on meth. My girlfriends friend also uses a rich senior citizen as a sugar daddy. 

Now I'm having a kid with my girl. I've had a fail relationship before. I rarely see my kid from the failed relationship. I don't want this to happen again. 

My girlfriend had stopped talking to her friend for reason that doesn't have to do with me. But recently her friend has been trying to make amends with her...

My girlfriend said after her fallout ( around February) she'd never talks to her friend again, but her fried is trying hard to make amends with her. 
I told my girl how I felt. I told her I don't want her friend at any house I'm paying bills at. Am I wrong ? 
I don't want her friend to ruin my family I'm about to start with my girlfriend 

Her friend has tried to persuade my girl she needs to take to her ex husband who wants her....she's even told my girl she should FaceTime with him. 

My girl doesn't even want me talking to my coworkers despite I'm a manager at my job. 

I don't understand how her friend could make my girl believe my girl can have leisure conversation with her ex husband on the telephone and FaceTime 

My girl makes it hard for me To do my Managerial job at times,because I have to converse with women ( subordinate co workers) at work. 

Please help me see what I should do... I can't deal with the advice my girls fried gave my girl that caused our relationship to be a roller coaster like in times past. Even more now because we will have a child together... What should I do ? My girlfriend has know her friend since middle school ....


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Are you sure that is your unborn child? With everything you posted, I would have doubts. 

From my experience, I have learned that the old adage, "Birds of a feather flock together", has merit. Look around your girlfriend. Is she really that different from her friends?


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## dannyb77 (Jun 11, 2013)

I really do think the unborn child is mine. However, I don't understand how she could get upset at me,because I don't want someone who is more then likely try to ruin my relationship,because she prefers my girlfriend be with a druggy, so she can get my girl on drugs. 

Because I don't do drugs, I'm boring to her friend....

In months past her friend has caused me girl to take the little disagreements as big fallouts. 

She's even gotten mad with my girl for spending January 1st with me. Because my girl spent the New Year with me, her friend didnt speak to my girl for weeks. 

I just know whatever argument me and my girlfriend have either small or big, her friend is going to place negative seeds in her mind. Then what ? I don't see my kid or live with him ?


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

You have some difficult choices to ma make. Unfortunately your GF have chosen to associate herself with a dangerous lifestyle. This puts you and your unborn child life in danger. Do you want a lifestyle surrounded by criminal and shady behavior? If not then you need to find a way to influence your GF to cut loose her peer group. They seem to have way too much influence on her. 

If you can't get her to get rid of those friends then you and your child have a rough road ahead. Then there's the XH issue. Are they divorced? If not then that also an obstacle. 

Is relocation a possibility?


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## dannyb77 (Jun 11, 2013)

committed4ever said:


> You have some difficult choices to ma make. Unfortunately your GF have chosen to associate herself with a dangerous lifestyle. This puts you and your unborn child life in danger. Do you want a lifestyle surrounded by criminal and shady behavior? If not then you need to find a way to influence your GF to cut loose her peer group. They seem to have way too much influence on her.
> 
> If you can't get her to get rid of those friends then you and your child have a rough road ahead. Then there's the XH issue. Are they divorced? If not then that also an obstacle.
> 
> Is relocation a possibility?


Well relocation isn't possible


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

I am surprised at how easily influenced by others your girlfriend appears to be, being that she is in her late 30's. Does she seem to have any interest in the shady characters her friend keeps trying to push her into dating? If she would easily run to a drug dealer, etc. every time you have a disagreement, I would consider this a big, red flag that she is not ready for a serious commitment to you. If she agrees that her friend is toxic to your relationship, she may just need some guidance on how to back away from this friendship in the long-term. I would hold off on any thoughts of marriage, etc. until you feel certain things are stable between you both and your girlfriend is 100% on board with putting the kids first and removing toxic people from your lives.


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## danielb77 (Oct 13, 2012)

swedish said:


> I am surprised at how easily influenced by others your girlfriend appears to be, being that she is in her late 30's. Does she seem to have any interest in the shady characters her friend keeps trying to push her into dating? If she would easily run to a drug dealer, etc. every time you have a disagreement, I would consider this a big, red flag that she is not ready for a serious commitment to you. If she agrees that her friend is toxic to your relationship, she may just need some guidance on how to back away from this friendship in the long-term. I would hold off on any thoughts of marriage, etc. until you feel certain things are stable between you both and your girlfriend is 100% on board with putting the kids first and removing toxic people from your lives.


I have some terrible news. In the state of Georgia I won't be considered my biological kid's dad.

She's legally married. 
Let me tell you how I met her. I'm at work minding my own business then the new girl keeps talking to me. 

So to be polite I talk 🔙. Then we get into this conversation about Facebook.Then she request I add her. Once I did she sends me these messages on Facebook on how she thinks I'm sexy and handsome. Then at work she keeps telling me she wants to be my one and only. Then starts getting irate with me over me being friendly with other co workers. 

She tells me to drop all the women I knew, so I did once we began dating. When I asked her to drop a guy who she knew. She responded " I knew him since Middle School". 

She wanted to look in my phone and get all my passwords for my social networking sites, so I gave it to her.

I asked her what happened with her and her husband. She told me he was a drunk for five years,and how he was bad husband. 

She told me she wanted a legal separation. I told her I couldn't get involved with her because of that. Soon she said she wanted a divorce from him. 

I help per pay for her divorce in October 2012, then she received papers for more information in December. Its now June, and she recently sent those papers in. 

I told her yesterday. About the issue of the child's name,and she called me a" *****" for being upset my son will have someone else's name. 

I've never hit her,and I don't want to but she's done some messed up stuff like ruin my bday, then call me soft because I said " I wanted to enjoy my bday" .. Now I'm a ***** because I'm upset my so will have someone else's name ? It is wise for me to leave a pregnant woman ?


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## mel10w (Jun 17, 2013)

Yes, You should definitely leave her.

Wow! You seem to have neglected to mention that you cheated on this girl when you were first dating. Also failed to mention your habit of looking up all your exes on google and fb...trying to apologize for your mistakes....load of crap. Also chatting it up with numerous females at the drop of a hat. And the big one...YOU ARE MARRIED!!!! 

Yeah, this lowly female you speak of doesn't do ANYTHING. She has only one friend now and she's 64 yrs old. The only person she hangs out with is her mother. What a bad person she must be. All the things she's done wrong to you. I bet you've never wronged her at all. Calling her gay and having a whole forum dog her out for no reason whatsoever. Trying to bring down her self esteem so you can rule her life. Nice


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## mel10w (Jun 17, 2013)

All this stuff you're writing has been twisted to make you look like the poor victim. This woman has only been with one person for twelve yrs....until you. Now look what she gets.


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## mel10w (Jun 17, 2013)

The whole marriage thing won't be happening.


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## mel10w (Jun 17, 2013)

You know her "friend" since junior high school is no longer her friend. As people grow older they change. Sometimes they turn into someone completely different with different goals. Such is life.


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## mel10w (Jun 17, 2013)

the whole pw thing was because you asked for hers first! Also, don't you have a couple new fb alias accts she doesn't have pw's too. You have google voice as well as several email addresses she has no access to.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mel10w (Jun 17, 2013)

Yes, leave her. Without a doubt...you would both be better off. Probably her more so.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mel10w (Jun 17, 2013)

What a load of crap
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

You've been busted sir.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## danielb77 (Oct 13, 2012)

mel10w said:


> Yes, You should definitely leave her.
> 
> Wow! You seem to have neglected to mention that you cheated on this girl when you were first dating. Also failed to mention your habit of looking up all your exes on google and fb...trying to apologize for your mistakes....load of crap. Also chatting it up with numerous females at the drop of a hat. And the big one...YOU ARE MARRIED!!!!
> 
> Yeah, this lowly female you speak of doesn't do ANYTHING. She has only one friend now and she's 64 yrs old. The only person she hangs out with is her mother. What a bad person she must be. All the things she's done wrong to you. I bet you've never wronged her at all. Calling her gay and having a whole forum dog her out for no reason whatsoever. Trying to bring down her self esteem so you can rule her life. Nice


I'm married and so is my gf.
The difference is me and my wife have no contact.unlike her who feels she can talk to her husband when she wants. I played the rule of starting to date when over an ex. No drag someone into a relationship when I'm not quite sure if I should leave my ex....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## danielb77 (Oct 13, 2012)

richie33 said:


> You've been busted sir.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Well sir ! I don't know who you are. For one thing I've never cheated. 
Looking at a porno isn't cheating, when someone else does it too.
Me saying hello or greeting a strictly platonic friend via the web isn't cheating
Looking at an exes Linkd isn't cheating either. 
I've never tried to make contact with an ex while I was in a relationship. 
When broken up I may of had. Someone thinks its okay for her to look up exes or send pictures to other men while we are broken up, but if I look up an ex while we are broken up equals cheating


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## danielb77 (Oct 13, 2012)

So it's cheating for me to look up an ex if we are broken up, but not cheating if she sends a guy pictures and talks to her estranged husband ? 
Not cheating for her to join a dating website and talk to other men ?


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## danielb77 (Oct 13, 2012)

Twisted ? Everything I wrote is true. Everyone around ( minus 64 year old and family) are confused.

Thinking about going to a lake house with ex brother in law on Saturday is kool ? ESP when your pregnant.

Requesting your bf's phone and Facebook and email account passwords is okay for a woman to do..... But once the man ask for our passwords, he's automatically a bad person?

Is this meth logic from a friend ....


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

I think your busted meant was that other poster sounds like its your 4 month pregnant gf.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## danielb77 (Oct 13, 2012)

richie33 said:


> You've been busted sir.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Perhaps your her buddy she met from that dating website singleparentmeet.com.... I guess that isn't cheating too for a woman to meet men online and carry online (email or chat ) conversations with them.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

Stop spiralling out guy. Read those post again it sounds like she found you posted on here.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mel10w (Jun 17, 2013)

richie33 said:


> Stop spiralling out guy. Read those post again it sounds like she found you posted on here.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


See what the pregnant girl has to deal with? Wow!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## danielb77 (Oct 13, 2012)

mel10w said:


> The whole marriage thing won't be happening.


Yes ! 
1) Because someone wants to be in control and do what they want. Someone calls me a cheater for looking to see what an ex is doing in life with no contact vs. someone talking to them on the phone wondering if they should go back. 

2) when we break up its wrong for me to do anything that includes women, but totally okay for her to do it, I'm called a cheater, while she isn't 

3) I never had a relationship with a woman while I'm with her 


4) it's okay to tell someone you want to get pregnant, then change your mind, then change it and say you do,but when it occurs you say you may want an abortion... That's really a constructive thing to do for your boyfriends sanity ? 

5) friends do grow up and change. Some for the better, and others for the worst. However, is it wise to take someones advice when they're strung out on drugs and have the need to jump between men in weeks. Is that the best person to get relationship advice from ? 

6) should a boyfriend be okay with a woman going to her sisters estranged husbands house for an entire day. Especially when her sisters estranged husband is sending text that are evidently hitting on her. A few weeks before her sisters estranged husband was requesting she move to his house in another state. I guess there's nothing wrong with that 

My girlfriend should learn to stick to her guns, and stop doing stuff that she wouldn't like done to her...l
Stop using her child as an excuse to hold secretive conversations Witt her estranged husbands. I didn't come into this relationship wanting to cling, or keep my ex around just in case.. Could she say the same 

I was upset because I gave my girlfriend some extra money's for her divorce in November after I had some extra money. 
The judge sent a paper back stating all he needed was one paper ( that has no cost to file or buy) but she waited 6 months to send it, while having unprotective sex with me. Now she's pregnant and my child may have another man's surname. 

Now she's telling me my child won't have my name or me in bc. Well I'm so glad there's a court system and dna. 

Plus why **** around with people's minds ? 

Plus I'm now divorced. I'm no longer married. The only reason I didnt pay for my divorce is because I knew my then estranged wife would get one....why should two of us pay to file ?


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## danielb77 (Oct 13, 2012)

mel10w said:


> All this stuff you're writing has been twisted to make you look like the poor victim. This woman has only been with one person for twelve yrs....until you. Now look what she gets.


Sure an alcoholic man who is middle aged and was on meth while they were married. Not to mentioned choked her almost to death
Sounds like a great 12 years


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## danielb77 (Oct 13, 2012)

mel10w said:


> See what the pregnant girl has to deal with? Wow!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Well pregnant women should be focused on their baby's, and not men who haven't gotten them pregnant


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## mel10w (Jun 17, 2013)

danielb77 said:


> Sure an alcoholic man who is middle aged and was on meth while they were married. Not to mentioned choked her almost to death
> Sounds like a great 12 years


And this, ladies, is why you should never confide in a man when you first meet. If you've had a nightmare of a past...keep it between you and your friends. No matter how understanding and caring he may seem....find out about his character before spilling your guts. This will ensure that everything you've ever told him won't be thrown back in your face.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## danielb77 (Oct 13, 2012)

richie33 said:


> Stop spiralling out guy. Read those post again it sounds like she found you posted on here.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yes sure ! I know of NY, pilots,and England and pictures via emails.
How ironic you two are posting back to back. One or two minutes in between each time either of you post lol.... Nice one !


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## danielb77 (Oct 13, 2012)

mel10w said:


> And this, ladies, is why you should never confide in a man when you first meet. If you've had a nightmare of a past...keep it between you and your friends. No matter how understanding and caring he may seem....find out about his character before spilling your guts. This will ensure that everything you've ever told him won't be thrown back in your face.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Well when you tell a man your life story. You tell him how bad your husband was. How neglectful and lazy, etc he was, then later you try to promote that same man. Your almost asking for **** to be thrown &#55357;&#56601; in your face. All I ever wanted was a peaceful dating situation. 

Don't tell me bad stuff about your ex when you met me, then later promote him as if he's Gods gift.... Please consistent ! 

Don't expect that man is going to say, " didn't you say this or that about him." 

All I want is my kid to have my name ... What's wrong with that ? You got to feel the need to promote him here and your 12 years with him ? 

Could my kid simply have my name and me listed as his dad ?


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## mel10w (Jun 17, 2013)

danielb77 said:


> Well when you tell a man your life story, then later try to promote the man who you dogged out for 12 or 5 years
> 
> Don't expect that man is going to say, " didn't you say this or that about him."
> 
> ...


Again a bunch of crap. It's just a repetitive waste of time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

danielb77 said:


> Yes sure ! I know of NY, pilots,and England and pictures via emails.
> How ironic you two are posting back to back. One or two minutes in between each time either of you post lol.... Nice one !


You need help. That or your a troll.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## danielb77 (Oct 13, 2012)

mel10w said:


> Again a bunch of crap. It's just a repetitive waste of time.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Richie ?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## danielb77 (Oct 13, 2012)

richie33 said:


> You need help. That or your a troll.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Do you and I a favour, please exit my thread.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## danielb77 (Oct 13, 2012)

mel10w said:


> Again a bunch of crap. It's just a repetitive waste of time.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It's a load of crap for a man to want his child to have his surname. Thanks, I've got it !
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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