# Out of the mouths of our babies



## melissa68 (Feb 10, 2012)

Last night as we were going to sleep, my four year old said mommy you know I still have baby teeth. I said I know sweetie...you're supposed to. And then he says "and Kyle *his older brother* has grown up teeth. " I said yep he's almost all grown up.
That led him to say "so mommy when Kyles all grown up he can be the daddy, you be the mommy and I'll be the brother"
I laughed and said well that can't be because even if Kyles big he's still my son just like you are"
Dylan said "well mommy then I don't have a daddy"
Just that simple little statement made me start crying.
Then Dylan says "so mommy heres the deal...tmw when we get up and you call daddy and you tell him to come home, if he says no you tell him 'bummer'. I asked him why bummer? he said because when I dont want to do something and I still have to you say bummer...we have to. So tell him bummer and then he'll say ok.

I couldnt sleep at all last night after that. My poor little baby who just wants his daddy home. I wish it were so easy....bummer....


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## unsure78 (Oct 17, 2011)

oh melissa that breaks my heart
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

Some men just don't get it!

About a month ago my 8 yo son told me to tell daddy to come home because mommy is the boss and he has to listen. 

My 4yo says he'll be daddy and will never leave me.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

The worst part of my separation was looking at my daughter (who was 2 at the time) and hearing her talk about daddy and that daddy was at work, or she wanted to snuggle Daddy. UGH! Broke my heart. 

Broke his too. 

It's so hard for the parent left with the kids. Not only do we have to deal with our own emotions, we have to deal with our kids' emotions as well.

It is so draining 

I unloaded on Hubs about this and he realized it when our older daughter said some horrible things and our baby started stuttering...  He started coming around more after that.


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## OldGirl (Feb 20, 2012)

melissa68 said:


> Last night as we were going to sleep, my four year old said mommy you know I still have baby teeth. I said I know sweetie...you're supposed to. And then he says "and Kyle *his older brother* has grown up teeth. " I said yep he's almost all grown up.
> That led him to say "so mommy when Kyles all grown up he can be the daddy, you be the mommy and I'll be the brother"
> I laughed and said well that can't be because even if Kyles big he's still my son just like you are"
> Dylan said "well mommy then I don't have a daddy"
> ...


That's just heartbreaking. I'm so sorry


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## workitout (Jan 24, 2012)

Mamatomany said:


> Some men just don't get it!
> 
> About a month ago my 8 yo son told me to tell daddy to come home because mommy is the boss and he has to listen.
> 
> My 4yo says he'll be daddy and will never leave me.


Divorce has such a negative stigma for men.

Honestly, this is my biggest worry for my daughter. I know that down the road, she's going to want mommy and I'll have to tell her mommy isn't here.

Really, I know you said some men, but I'm feeling pretty heated right now. I'm going to quit my career, my succesful career, return to school and move to another state to ensure that I can remain a huge part of my daughter's life. Yeah, some guys don't get it, but some women don't get it either.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

It is heart breaking.

If your child's father is still involved with the child, you need to tell the child that they still have a father and that he loves them.


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## OldGirl (Feb 20, 2012)

workitout said:


> Divorce has such a negative stigma for men.
> 
> Honestly, this is my biggest worry for my daughter. I know that down the road, she's going to want mommy and I'll have to tell her mommy isn't here.
> 
> Really, I know you said some men, but I'm feeling pretty heated right now. I'm going to quit my career, my succesful career, return to school and move to another state to ensure that I can remain a huge part of my daughter's life. Yeah, some guys don't get it, but some women don't get it either.


This is true. There are a lot of stories on here by men who love their children, and wanted to be with them full time, but had that option taken away from them by wives who cheated and/or walked away.  There's plenty of blame to go around for both sexes.


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## Wildflower3 (Nov 20, 2011)

Heartbreaking! I feel your pain. 

My STBX spends a lot of time with the kids. He's a great father. It hurts that whenever they hear my neighbor's motorcycle that they run to the door or the window and yell "Daddy's home!!" Or after he puts them down for bed, they ask if he's staying. It's absolutely gut wrenching.


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## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

The OP story does break my heart. The impact on kids is nearly intolerable.

Just to chime in on the man vs. woman part - yes many men AND many women do not get it. Equally difficult, in my case, is trying to stop resenting my WS for what she has done to my son, due to her infidelty and then semi-blame-shifting to me for wanting to then split up -- AND recognizing that what is best for HIM moving forward is for me to continue working like a dog, and supporting them (yes including her) to take care of our son... leaving me much more absent from his life than I want to be, and knowing that in many people's eyes I will be one who "doesn't get it", who doesn't spend enough time with him... Just absolutely infuriating.

(Sorry for the vent!)


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## unsure78 (Oct 17, 2011)

Hey Melissa Im going to bring up some of the issues that my little guy has been having ( which sound very similar to yours  )with my therapist on wed- would you like me to let you know if she comes up with any good suggestions for the age group?


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## melissa68 (Feb 10, 2012)

unsure78 said:


> Hey Melissa Im going to bring up some of the issues that my little guy has been having ( which sound very similar to yours  )with my therapist on wed- would you like me to let you know if she comes up with any good suggestions for the age group?



I'd really appreciate that yes....thank you so much. 
You know what really stinks is that my first instinct is to call my stbxh and tell him what Dylan said and that he needs to see him....but I know his reaction would be that I was trying to guilt him and to 'stop using Dylan to get to him' No thought whatsoever about his son in any way. It makes me so angry...I keep thinking...I bet he has no problem finding time for his g/f and the money to see her/do things with her....but not his 4 yr old son who adores him. Nice....


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