# Sex during Pregenecy



## unexited (May 14, 2012)

I would like to know from everyone here how a womans sex drive is affected by pregnancy, and how long does it take to come back to normal.

Here is a little bagroungd. Been married for 4 years. im 30 now. wife is one year younger. Before she got prg, we would have sex 5-6 times a month. I would definitely have liked to have more but, thats another topic all together.

Since she got preg, our frequency nose dived. she is now 8.5 months , and in this time we had sex like 6 -7 times. I brought the topic up casually about 2 months ago, but i quickly realised that she was blaming the pregnency for it followed by crying. I dint want her to be stressed or resent the fact that she was pregnant. So i dint bring it up again.

I just want to know if this is normal ? do all women experience low sex drive throught thier pregnancy ? Also how long does it take them to get back to normal ?

As of now i have stopped asking/initiating sex. I dont want to put pressure on her.

Apart from vitamins she is not on any sort of medication. 

Any insight/experience on this matter will be highly appriciated


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## flnative (Jul 16, 2011)

I wouldn't say it is normal, but I suppose everyone is different. We have 3 kids. The only way I could tell she was pregnant (personality wise) was that we actually had more sex. Her emotions, personality, etc pretty much stayed the same no. No griping. She's a good woman.


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## marriedglad (Dec 5, 2011)

It's different for different woman. Some women are highly turned on during the first trimester, some during the 2nd and some during the 3rd. It varies. There is no concrete rule. Some women are horny throughout their pregnancy, and some women are just sick of even the thought of having sex in all the 9 months. So you can't really blame your wife. Each case is different. Just support her, and try not to upset her. And as you said, she's 8.5 months pregnant which means it is just a matter of another 2 months, and you can have all the sex you want.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

As marriedglad said...each woman is different. Some want no sex at all during pregnancy. Some want it the entire time. Some want it during specific trimesters. After giving birth...again, that's different for each woman as well. Some want sex a couple weeks after birth. Some can't stand even the thought for months...Some even a year. Each woman is different. Of course, the one year point is a bit extreme, I think. But with a new baby, it isn't uncommon for mom to have no interest for awhile, until she gets SLEEP. JUst support her, don't push/pressure.


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## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

Well to give you some perspective - 

With my first pregnancy, during the "good months" (middle of the PG) my sex drive increased dramatically...I could have sex 2-3 times a day and still not be satisfied. During the beginning of the PG, my head was in the toilet pretty much 24/7 and I had no desire to be touched at all. During the end of my PG, I felt huge, had lots of body pains, couldn't sleep, my vag actually HURT all the time from the weight/pressure, my feet and legs swelled up like tree trunks, and all of that made sex the last thing on my mind.

With my second pregnancy, I had no desire whatsoever. I think the hormones were just different then. Nothing felt good to me when we did try and I couldn't O no matter how hard I tried.

After each birth, there is a recovery period. First of all she's going to be bleeding and possibly have stitches to take care of for the first 2-6 weeks after birth. Then there's the fact that you're going to be up all night taking care of a newborn, and if she's planning to breastfeed that baby is going to be attached to her pretty much 24/7 for the first couple of months. If you are going to be helping with the nighttime stuff and with the care of the baby, you may find that your sex drive diminishes during that time too - that is what happened to my husband, and it took the pressure off for a couple of months. I had a hard time feeling sexy and even WANTING to have sex in between all of the sleeplessness and the fact that the baby was attached to my boob all day long, I just longed for a few minutes alone without another human being touching me, and privacy to take a shower or to pee by myself. 

Probably not the picture you wanted to hear about - but I would say about 2-3 months after having each baby I felt more back to normal. And that is when it actually hit me that I'd gone so long without satisfying sex so my interest increased for awhile and I really wanted it.

Being patient right now is probably your best bet.


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## Mrs.K (Apr 12, 2012)

I have been pregnant four times so not only is every woman different but every pregnancy is different too. Through a couple of my pregnancies I couldn't get enough and the other two I had zero drive at all.

I felt really bad for my husband during my last pregnancy because the last two months we had no sex and then of course the 6 weeks following the birth. 

BUT 6 months later my drive was very very high and it has stayed that way even 20 months later


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## nader (May 4, 2011)

We did everything all backwards. Halfway though the pregnancy we made a decision in marital counseling to abstain until the wedding... which very much increased *my *sex drive!

I think we 'cheated' once or twice. Otherwise the abstaining was a good reset button and I think it helped both of us. The wedding was in late november and our son was born in February. We had pretty good sex up until mid-feb, but nothing like those wonderful stories I was hearing from luckier husbands.

My wife had a miserable pregnancy.. no complications, but it took so much from her immune system, some of her respiratory issues got really bad... and probably some other stuff I've blocked from my memory.

But everyone is different, and the same women will have different experiences each pregnancy. No classes, books, internet forums, advice from friends, will ever prepare you for the oncoming roller coaster.

It's good that you aren't bugging her. You can start bugging her after awhile, pending advice from her dr, but it will still suck for awhile. Hopefully you will be so wrapped up in being a new dad that you won't worry about sex too much... for the first few months. Good luck.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Pregnancy increased my drive all 3 times. But yes I'm guessing each woman is different and each pregnancy is different.


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## unexited (May 14, 2012)

First off thanks to ALL for thier insight into the matter.

Obviously, my wife is pregnent for the first time and i have no idea what to expect.

I do understand now that each woman and each pregnency is different and there is no formula.

My wife never had much of a drive since a couple of months after we got married. Initially i thought it was the stress of the job, and hadling home at the same time, so did not discuss this with her. Right around the time she got prg, it got really bad and i really wantd to disscuss this, but alas i founout that she was 3 months prg. 

So for now i will hold off all disscussions on the topic for say at least 3-4 months. Ill be as suportive as possible.

I have read quiet a lot of posts here and as some one has said as long as you get it, sex is really nota issue, but when you dont get it, it really occupies your mind all the time.


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## nader (May 4, 2011)

> I have read quiet a lot of posts here and as some one has said as long as you get it, sex is really nota issue, but when you dont get it, it really occupies your mind all the time.


Yes. Once you are both adjusted to a new routine, *don't *let this slide, or it will get worse. much, much worse.

For lots of women, the lack of desire is worst during the first trimester.. if that's really the only reason she was losing her mojo, you should be fine. Also keep in mind that if she breast feeds... that's known to decrease libido as well. Although I wouldn't point this out or you might get b!tchslapped!


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## unexited (May 14, 2012)

nader said:


> Yes. Once you are both adjusted to a new routine, *don't *let this slide, or it will get worse. much, much worse.
> 
> For lots of women, the lack of desire is worst during the first trimester.. if that's really the only reason she was losing her mojo, you should be fine. Also keep in mind that if she breast feeds... that's known to decrease libido as well. Although I wouldn't point this out or you might get b!tchslapped!


haha ... yes i wont let this slide for sure. Thanks for the advice Nader. Yes i guess she will breast feed so i need to be prepared. If her drive is so low for all through her pregnency, im sure that once she breastfeeds, she wont even let me touch her, not even with a bamboo pole 

Its just that i never realised that lack of sex can have such a powerful effect on your mind. I have caught myself on occasion staring at womens breasts/ass walking down the street and such. I have also been having some nasty thoughts lately which i wont even dare discribe here  thoughts of cheating, being with other women keep crossing my mind(not that i plan to do any of this) and this is very wierd cos this has never happened before. has this happened to anyone else or im i just a perverted nut case ? i dint know my sexuality was so dark. Gotta admit its a tiny bit scary.

Sorry about the rant in the paragraph above, there is no one i could tell this to so i just feel better writing it out.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Mavash. said:


> Pregnancy increased my drive all 3 times. But yes I'm guessing each woman is different and each pregnancy is different.



Ditto for my wife. All three times she was very horny.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

nader said:


> Yes. Once you are both adjusted to a new routine, *don't *let this slide, or it will get worse. much, much worse.
> 
> For lots of women, the lack of desire is worst during the first trimester.. if that's really the only reason she was losing her mojo, you should be fine. *Also keep in mind that if she breast feeds... that's known to decrease libido as well. * Although I wouldn't point this out or you might get b!tchslapped!


I must be weird....I breastfed all three of mine until they were 1 1/2-2 years old... and I wanted sex (had c-sections with each. doesn't mean we HAD sex... just that I WANTED it) two weeks after each was born. And my libido didn't drop at any point lol.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Mine was in overdrive with both pregnancies. Couldn't get enough sex. I am already high drive.

My sister is low drive and with both of her pregnancies, her libido disappeared. It is finally coming back a bit and her son is almost 4.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Well... I went from HD.... (doing it about 1 or 2 times daily.. sometimes 3).. to ND.. No drive... during pregnancy.. So my hubby went from needing a break.. to having to long of a break during all three pregnancies lol. For me... three months after the babies born.. thats when i go from ND to HD again. I'd be careful though if you were doing it under three months after babies born.. apparently my docs had said that between giving birth and 6 months.. is when a woman is most fertile.. and there will be like 110% chance of pregnancy again if no protection or BC was used.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Gaia said:


> Well... I went from HD.... (doing it about 1 or 2 times daily.. sometimes 3).. to ND.. No drive... during pregnancy.. So my hubby went from needing a break.. to having to long of a break during all three pregnancies lol. For me... three months after the babies born.. thats when i go from ND to HD again. I'd be careful though if you were doing it under three months after babies born.. apparently my docs had said that between giving birth and 6 months.. is when a woman is most fertile.. *and there will be like 110% chance of pregnancy again if no protection or BC was used.*


HAHA the only time we DIDN'T use protection after babies were born was when we had the last one. They had me open and I said "fix me!" LOL Baby factory is CLOSED! Oh, and if anyone ever tries to say "you can't get pregnant while breastfeeding"... uhhh bullsh!t! I was pregnant with my last one, before my middle one was weaned. We weren't trying, but we weren't preventing either lol.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

LOL... I plan on getting THE SHOT... told hubby i was tired of it!! NO MORE!! hell having to be put on bedrest for THIS pregnancy!! My body couldn't handle another one lol. But of course he wants to have one later on.. which is why i am choosing to get the shot.. lol


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Of course he can wait another ten years before we have another... tis what i told him.. lol


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

I just had my first baby. 

Throughout my pregnancy I remained high-drive, with the only exception being the first months; (it's hard to feel like making love and throwing up at the same time) lol!

My husband is generally lower drive than me, but found sex without the "fear" to be very liberating and we enjoyed it for most of my pregnancy.

We couldn't wait to be alone together after baby was born, and first made love 10 days after. Now that the "fear" is back it has slowed down again. He also lost a lot of interest during the last month, which made me feel awful and unattractive. (So even if she doesn't feel like sex and you don't want to feel like you're pressuring her... Even a few kind words to reassure her during this time may be helpful for you in the long run). 

I have to admit... Even during labor I wanted it - BADLY. Crazy hormones!

P.S. I'm also breast-feeding my 7 week old and still enjoying and looking forward to making love. 

I also wanted to mention "results may vary".

Pregnancy takes A LOT out of you. There is just no way to describe all the physical and emotional fatigue that accompanies pregnancy, so continue to be patient and loving. Put your darks thoughts aside, (even though I don't think they're all that abnormal), and focus on your wife... She'll be able to look back on a difficult and exciting time and remember her super-awesome, supportive and sweet husband! 

Congrats to the both of you!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

Gaia said:


> Well... I went from HD.... (doing it about 1 or 2 times daily.. sometimes 3).. to ND.. No drive... during pregnancy.. So my hubby went from needing a break.. to having to long of a break during all three pregnancies lol. For me... three months after the babies born.. thats when i go from ND to HD again. I'd be careful though if you were doing it under three months after babies born.. apparently my docs had said that between giving birth and 6 months.. is when a woman is most fertile.. and there will be like 110% chance of pregnancy again if no protection or BC was used.


YES!!! Cannot agree with this enough.

Says me, the proud owner of a set of Irish Twins (11 months apart).

I was on BC both times I conceived, too! 

Now, back to your regularly scheduled program!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nader (May 4, 2011)

The reason it's said you can't get pregnant while breastfeeding is because the low libido is her body's way of trying not to get preggers again.

Except for some of the crazy HD women who post here  Funny we rarely hear from their husbands.. who must be too busy getting busy to drop in.

My wife was on some medication that kept her from producing the milk, so we've been using formula all the way. It was a disappointment for her but not for me.. she is LD enough as it is.


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## unexited (May 14, 2012)

YinPrincess said:


> (So even if she doesn't feel like sex and you don't want to feel like you're pressuring her... Even a few kind words to reassure her during this time may be helpful for you in the long run).
> 
> I have to admit... Even during labor I wanted it - BADLY. Crazy hormones!
> 
> ...




Wow, i wish my wife had a drive like yours !! Wish she wants it when breastfeeding, but i doubt it. Will definitely use protection ofcos !



> Put your darks thoughts aside, (even though I don't think they're all that abnormal), and focus on your wife... She'll be able to look back on a difficult and exciting time and remember her super-awesome, supportive and sweet husband!


thanks i feel just a tiny bit less guilty about the nasty thoughts i keep having. maybe im not so nuts after all, just uber horny 

hope her drive comes back with vengence, and she appriciates my support and patience.

for now, just some a little porn and some fantasy sex with blondes with big breasts will get me by this time 

as they say in our sciptures "do whats right, dont worry about the result/outcome " for now ill just follow that.


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

Every woman is different but for me, with both my kids, the increase in hormones in my body our sex life was on steroids and it was all me... I wanted it all the time, up until the end, and even then it was like come on because it will help get this baby out!!! I would actually wake my husband up in the middle of the night for sex... I am sure he misses those days, lol. It was insane. 
Now once I started breast feeding it took a nose dive! (I had to ask the doc about it and found out the hormone released during milk let down is the same hormone released during orgasm for a female so it sort of tries to help regulate the womans drive to want to "procreate" by keeping her satisfied)... now that and post partum depression can be a mess.....
But I have had friends who said the hormones did the exact opposite... the felt horrible about their bodies, unattractive due to the weight, uncomfortable, and more.... 
but the fact that your wife is crying each time you bring this up, would be concerning, are you addressing her in an angry manner about it???? Have you asked her why she has no want for sex? Is it body image, is it comfort, is it something else? Is she depressed???... If she is not normally a crier, or that to me is a bit odd. Even when my husband and I later went thru some issues of me having some low libido, I never cried about it straight away to him.


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

nader said:


> The reason it's said you can't get pregnant while breastfeeding is because the low libido is her body's way of trying not to get preggers again.


yea and that is BS... they need to stop telling people that... my son is proof that is not true!!!


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## unexited (May 14, 2012)

Thanks for you input. i wish she had someof those raging hormones 




livelaughlovenow said:


> But I have had friends who said the hormones did the exact opposite... the felt horrible about their bodies, unattractive due to the weight, uncomfortable, and more....
> but the fact that your wife is crying each time you bring this up, would be concerning, are you addressing her in an angry manner about it???? Have you asked her why she has no want for sex? Is it body image, is it comfort, is it something else? Is she depressed???... If she is not normally a crier, or that to me is a bit odd. Even when my husband and I later went thru some issues of me having some low libido, I never cried about it straight away to him.



No, i NEVER approach her with anger.I almost never get angry, and when i am, i usually try not to speak untill i cool down. I am very carefull what words i use and specially as its a sensitive matter, plus the fact that she is pregnant.

I am pretty sure that its because penetration is painfull for her. I know this bcause she had a vaginal examination a month back and she said it was very painfull for her.

It could be a body image thing. IDK. Dont really think she is depressed. 

yes she is a crier, noramlly whenever there is a serious/sensitive disscussion, some crying does eventually happen. She has a problem keeping emotions a and facts seperate. I think that true for most women. No offence to women.

Honestly im a litle scared of bringing it up ugain, at least not untill she has delivered and back to normal routine.


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## effess (Nov 20, 2009)

unexited said:


> I would like to know from everyone here how a womans sex drive is affected by pregnancy, and how long does it take to come back to normal.
> 
> Here is a little bagroungd. Been married for 4 years. im 30 now. wife is one year younger. Before she got prg, we would have sex 5-6 times a month. I would definitely have liked to have more but, thats another topic all together.
> 
> ...


During my wife's two pregnancies we had sex once each time.
I've heard stories of women who are horny out of their minds during pregnancy, and women whose libido is normal. I don't think there's any 'normal' when it comes to this subject.


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## unexited (May 14, 2012)

effess said:


> During my wife's two pregnancies we had sex once each time.
> I've heard stories of women who are horny out of their minds during pregnancy, and women whose libido is normal. I don't think there's any 'normal' when it comes to this subject.


Thanks for sharing. I aggree , all women are different, so are all pregnancies.

i was curious, how long did it take her to come back to normal frequency ? is you wife normally LD or it was the pregnancy that made her so ? 

2x in 2 pregnencies, wow , i was thinking i was the one making the world record !! 

did you also have thoughts of sex with other women/weird fantasies or it dint bother you so much ?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Yep, we are ALL different here.... we have 6 kids, I don't think my husband cared how many we had, because I was more darn horny during that time -the WHOLE 9 MONTHS -so long as I wasn't throwing up -than any other time, so much I remember going off and masterbating alone thinking I am going to bother him.. .little did I know he would have loved to have been woken up & bothered more. 

We had 5 boys, must have been all that TEST I was carrying around...but I recall it being the same with the girl. 

And after each birth I remember wanting to have sex REALLY bad, we never waited the time the Doc said, nearly cutting it in half. Why 2 of our sons were born 11 months apart.


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## nader (May 4, 2011)

livelaughlovenow said:


> yea and that is BS... they need to stop telling people that... my son is proof that is not true!!!


Fair enough. :lol:

In my case I think my wife was just so happy to (mostly) have her body back and be able to sleep comfortably again, it did more for her libido than any hormonal changes. Again, that's with no breastfeeding.


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

Any time I was pregnant, my libido (which has always been on the high side) skyrocketed. I would masturbate several times daily. I never had morning sickness, and only the first couple of months was I a hormonal mess (I was kind of mean sometimes). But I was having sex right up to the night before I went into labor with all of my kids (I did have issues with my last pregnancy and was put on pelvic rest until I was almost 5 months pregnant). 

I also got pregnant with my daughter while on the pill and nursing my twins. They were 5 1/2 - 6 months old at the time.


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## Aristotle (Apr 4, 2012)

Pregnancy sex is a whole other world. Amazing.


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## unexited (May 14, 2012)

After reading most of the posts i am starting to think there is something wrong with my wife. She has a low drive before pregnancy, but one she got pregnant it just disappeared. (No action in the last 2 monts almost)

I have to talk to her once the she has delivered. We should see a doctor i think.


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

unexited said:


> After reading most of the posts i am starting to think there is something wrong with my wife. She has a low drive before pregnancy, but one she got pregnant it just disappeared. (No action in the last 2 monts almost)
> 
> I have to talk to her once the she has delivered. We should see a doctor i think.


Well, too be fair, I do know a lot of women who's drives went down while they where pregnant. Everyone is different, no one experiences pregnancy the same way.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Yep, we are ALL different here.... we have 6 kids, I don't think my husband cared how many we had, because I was more darn horny during that time -the WHOLE 9 MONTHS -so long as I wasn't throwing up -than any other time, so much I remember going off and masterbating alone thinking I am going to bother him.. .little did I know he would have loved to have been woken up & bothered more.
> 
> We had 5 boys, must have been all that TEST I was carrying around...but I recall it being the same with the girl.
> 
> And after each birth I remember wanting to have sex REALLY bad, we never waited the time the Doc said, nearly cutting it in half. Why 2 of our sons were born 11 months apart.


this is why im glad my drive went down during pregnancy lol... don't think i could physically take carrying another baby after this one.. :/


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

unexited said:


> After reading most of the posts i am starting to think there is something wrong with my wife. She has a low drive before pregnancy, but one she got pregnant it just disappeared. (No action in the last 2 monts almost)
> 
> I have to talk to her once the she has delivered. We should see a doctor i think.


There are natural ways to increase her sex drive as well... if all the issue is.. is LD.... Some foods will do it as well as some plants, smells, ect.


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## effess (Nov 20, 2009)

My wife is LD to begin with. it took her a good 4-6 months to get back to something resembling normal. 
I never considered cheating or weird fantasies but i did get heavier into porn and was in the early stages of an EA.
It was hard but i knew that the sex would dry up - i was mentally prepared.


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## cub!chy (May 7, 2012)

Sex during pregnancy should be like sex during any other time in life. You and your partner communicate and deal with the issues that rise. Pregnancy isn’t just about the woman, although her body does most of the changing, we need to be accommodating, but I don’t think we should have to give up on sex altogether. I have 3 kids and all 3 have been different. The first she did not initiate, but wouldn’t say no. We are usually 5-7 times a week; it went to 3 times a week. Then as she started to get bigger, went to 2 times a week, that’s my absolute lowest, then around 8 months, her hormones changed and it felt different. I just didn’t want intercourse, went fully oral, manual and we found creative ways for I to get off, as she didn’t want any of it. With our second, she was better, but pretty much went the same way, then around 8 months, the same change, and we got creative again. With our 3rd, it was a different game, she became very HD and we would go sometimes 4 times a day, and at least 7 times a week. She also wanted anal during the pregnancy, which was weird, but we did it, at around 8 months, it just felt weird and I didn’t want intercourse anymore, her drive tapered off and we got creative again. If she insisted I would do it, but it felt weir, chemically, it didn’t feel like her. My point to you, is just because she is pregnant, your needs don’t stop, you need to communicate that. I learned a-lot from the first and before we started on our second, I had a long chat with her about my needs during pregnancy and that helped a-lot. I have buddies that will get happy endings, because they don’t get any during pregnancy, these are tie wearing business guys, FYI to women out there. Good luck and hopefully you can turn this around, also, make sure when she delivers, and show up with flowers and a box of cinnamon rolls, from cinabun.


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## unexited (May 14, 2012)

Update: After a little hinting that i was a little desperate (very desperate actually) got her to try intercourse. But the moment i penetrated , she said it was too painful. 

So i guess i need to relax for a couple of months and keep my mind off sex. If i cant, then maybe just a lil bit of porn 

Im also going to try suggesting oral, but i know she doesn't enjoy it much.


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