# Moving on?



## sirch (Jan 8, 2009)

Hello everyone, thought I would give an update and maybe get some views. It's almost the three month mark for me and I am starting to feel different, sortof indifferent really. I'm not considering filing for divorce but I am feeling myself moving forward, going out, becoming flirtier, etc. Also limiting my contact with my wife and not feeling bad emotionally when she doesn't call to say goodnight in the evenings. I used to tell her my plans for the week or weekend but now I'm not (unless she asks). Starting to wonder what it will be like to be single again and thinking of the positives of that situation. Another concern I have is that I get the feeling I am the only one working on this marriage. I go to the counselor two to three times a month and she has only been once. I asked the counselor about this and she said my wife and her have an agreement and she was going to "work on me first". Now I do not belive this is productive at all. My wife still says she doesn't know what she wants, or how she feels. Although whenever she greets me I get a big hug and a kiss. We still are having sex and going on dates and getting along real well but hell I would like to hear something from her. Just "it's going to be alright" would sure make me feel better, at least then I wouldn't think all I'm doing is for nothing. But I am getting tired of this situation, being in "limbo" has done nothing but cause hurt for me and my son and I am starting to resent her for doing this. Maybe there is a light at the end of the tunnel but right now I sure as heck don't see it and that frustrates me. I gues what I'm saying is, I am moving on and if she wants to go with me that would be great but I am no longer going to sit around and wait for her. Any thoughts from the marriage gurus here would be appreciated.


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

i think you are no different to me.
i had sex with H and we split. its safe, something you know.
obviously if neither of you stil had the chemistry, i guarantee you wouldnt be having sex.
i understand your hurt. 
but i think your doing really well. 
your stil moving on.
it could take several months b 4 you decide what you really both want.
id take the opportunites your having - feeling the person you once were. once your back together the circle will start all over again.
the little niggly things you dont remember now, you wil when you get back.
if your both kinda fine as you as. it sounds like shes having and wanting a space time out.
take the opportunities of having fun with eachother again, sounds like those aspects are good.
life does go on, your doing really well.


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## sirch (Jan 8, 2009)

Thank you justean. I am trying, just a day by day progression.


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## imjustagirl (Mar 18, 2009)

Hey, your situation sounds similair to mine, but my sepration has only been about a week, and we have only been married since May. My husband thinks I am the one with the problem. I am also talking to a counselor, or will be. The first few times with be just myself, my parents who have been really supportative through this whole thing say its just to get me in the right direction, last Friday my Dad took me to talk to someone at the hospital he works at and she said it sounds like my husband is abusing me emotionaly. The other day I made a comment about going to talk to someone and my Mom reminded me that I am doing it for myself. I would give it time before they bring in your wife. I know exactly how you feel. Hang in there.


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