# Nothing after a small trip from husband



## Bianca Stella (Sep 26, 2017)

Hello all! Need to know if I?m overreacting... my H and I have had a great month. Lost of sex, talks, sexiness, drinks, etc... so I leave for work to another city fir 2 days and he packs a flower and a card to surprise me in my suitcase. When i get to the hotel and see it, I take a pic of myself holding the rose and told him how beautiful it was. I was in meetings for work and he was texting here and there to ask how I was etc... the day I get back his boss called in sick and he had more work than usual, our son gets sick and was with his grandparents. My h was gonna get me at the airport but he ran late because I told him to get the kids first instead of me. I waited an hour and was fuming... then we get home and there?s no food, no flowers, nothing! All he kept saying was that he was dying to be with me and have sex and fun, etc... i lost my mind and literally slapped him when we got home. Thoughts?


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

You slapped him.
You slapped yourself silly.

People live busy lives, even your' husband.

One hand doeth the stroking.
Your' other the back hand.

Your' husband will remember the red mark that you laid upon him.
And forget the good women who left home.....and it seems, never returned.

You have issues...
And now he does, too.


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## Yag-Kosha (Sep 8, 2016)

Bianca Stella said:


> Thoughts?


No flowers?! How will life go on....


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

A bit self-centered are we?
Lucky, you're not in a holding cell, but hey at least you'd have food.


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

The only thing worse than a self-centered, entitled princess is a violent one. Congrats on raising the bar.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

zookeeper said:


> The only thing worse than a self-centered, entitled princess is a violent one. Congrats on raising the bar.


Yes times a thousand.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

OP, I'm sorry but you are wrong in this one. Apologize, tell him what a great husband he is for the romantic gesture on your trip. Then do whatever you can to make it up to him.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

I’m sure you really showed him the errors of his ways, well done. Next time you go away for two whole days he’ll have roses and Chateaubriand waiting for you, because he will want to do that for his wife who loves him so much and never hits him. Oh, wait, never mind.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Bianca Stella said:


> Hello all! Need to know if I?m overreacting... my H and I have had a great month. Lost of sex, talks, sexiness, drinks, etc... so I leave for work to another city fir 2 days and he packs a flower and a card to surprise me in my suitcase. When i get to the hotel and see it, I take a pic of myself holding the rose and told him how beautiful it was. I was in meetings for work and he was texting here and there to ask how I was etc... the day I get back his boss called in sick and he had more work than usual, our son gets sick and was with his grandparents. My h was gonna get me at the airport but he ran late because I told him to get the kids first instead of me. I waited an hour and was fuming... then we get home and there?s no food, no flowers, nothing! All he kept saying was that he was dying to be with me and have sex and fun, etc... i lost my mind and literally slapped him when we got home. Thoughts?


I want to be far more direct than others have been so far.

Your reaction to your husband not having flowers for you is profoundly wrong. And you hit him? You physically, violently abused him because he did not jump through hoops for some ridiculous expectation that you have. Really? He's supposed to have flowers and gifts for you when you return from a 2 day trip?

How about you think about your husband sometimes? He had a long, hard day at his job. He was dealing with a sick kid. He had to pick kids up after school. And you expect him to pick you up at the airport, have flowers and dinner for you? Good grief.

At the airport, when you knew that he was over loaded you probably should have just taken a taxi/uber home. That would have helped reduce some of his stress on a very trying day. 

No dinner? You could have called for pizza to be delivered.

You want your husband to put flowers in your suitcase, call you all day long, and pick you up at the airport with flowers and all kinds of welcome home fanfare.... after a 2 day trip. LOL

How about you give him flowers sometimes? How about you coming home from a trip and letting him know that he is special to you? 

You are lucky that he did not call the police and have you arrested for assaulting him.

Your husband does not owe you flowers and gifts when you return from a trip. He was sweet and put a flower and a card in your suitcase. Do you realize that most men never, ever, think of doing something like this? He went out of his way to do something sweet for you. And now you have destroyed it. 

If I were your husband, I would never again do anything like put a flower in your suit case. I would never again pick you up at the airport... take a taxi. 

Shoot, I'd probably be filing for divorce in Monday. Yes what you did is worthy of him divorcing you.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

My second thought is that you probably have a personality disorder and if you want to save your marriage (how did he react to your SLAP?) should consider counseling to explore your perceptions and behavior.


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## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

Bianca Stella said:


> provide an example of his behavior. I?ve been told by my husband I have the same issue (BPD) but... aren?t we all a little crazy? Even yourself?


Not enough to slap someone...


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## Masodipstick (Aug 6, 2017)

Um, I think the OP is yanking our chain to get a reaction. This didn't really happen did it?


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Maybe slapping was part of foreplay? Husband said he couldn’t wait to have sex and she immediately gave him what he needed 🤨🤫 (if he’s into slapping that is)


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## 482 (Mar 14, 2017)

If I did stuff like this and got back what you are giving out I would most likely never do it again. I love doing things like this for my GF to make her feel special and loved. If she did not show me she appreciated it I would stop doing it. Or if she acted like it was expected I would stop doing it. Everyone else already said you're a bit nuts and kind of a princess. I agree. Get a grip your lucky he puts up with your ****. Then you hit him. I would never.....


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

@Bianca Stella

You owe your husband a HUGE apology. Go out and get him a huge bouquet of red roses. Add a card with a very heartfelt apology.


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## FrazzledSadHusband (Jul 3, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> I want to be far more direct than others have been so far.
> 
> If I were your husband, I would never again do anything like put a flower in your suit case. I would never again pick you up at the airport... take a taxi.


Reminds me of a time I scrimped, saved, and skipped lunches to buy my wife a gold necklace with a gold pendant as a surprise. I had looked in her jewelry box to see what style she liked.

She made it *clear* that she didn't like it. Told me to return it. There was enough money for me to get a matched set of his/her watches.

I've never bought another piece of jewelry.

Some might say I'm being vindictive. I look at it as protecting myself.


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## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

lol this is the same chick that was obsessed with whether or not her husband was masturbating and always checking his underwear for cum stains.



> 1- he fantasizes a lot abt other ppl, he once told me that he needed to think of a specific woman to masturbate, could be a woman he saw at the store or anyone attractive
> 2- porn addict (he claims he doesn?t have time anymore) bs
> 3- a few blocked calls he made for a total of 8 min
> 4- gets quiet and weird sometimes and makes me want to puke when I picture things
> ...


sounds like you still got some stuff to work out, bianca


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

FrazzledSadHusband said:


> Reminds me of a time I scrimped, saved, and skipped lunches to buy my wife a gold necklace with a gold pendant as a surprise. I had looked in her jewelry box to see what style she liked.
> 
> She made it *clear* that she didn't like it. Told me to return it. There was enough money for me to get a matched set of his/her watches.
> 
> ...


It's not vindictive at all. Most people would have the same reaction.

(There is a forum rule against calling other posters trolls. I edited your post.)


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## FrazzledSadHusband (Jul 3, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> (There is a forum rule against calling other posters trolls. I edited your post.)


:surprise: Sorry, I better go refresh my memory!


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

This isn't for real surely.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Bianca Stella said:


> Hello all! Need to know if I?m overreacting... my H and I have had a great month. Lost of sex, talks, sexiness, drinks, etc... so I leave for work to another city fir 2 days and he packs a flower and a card to surprise me in my suitcase. When i get to the hotel and see it, I take a pic of myself holding the rose and told him how beautiful it was. I was in meetings for work and he was texting here and there to ask how I was etc... the day I get back his boss called in sick and he had more work than usual, our son gets sick and was with his grandparents. My h was gonna get me at the airport but he ran late because I told him to get the kids first instead of me. I waited an hour and was fuming... then we get home and there?s no food, no flowers, nothing! All he kept saying was that he was dying to be with me and have sex and fun, etc... i lost my mind and literally slapped him when we got home. Thoughts?


He is a man and does not think like you. Giving you the flower and note in your case in his mind probably earned him brownie points for the next week, you were only away for two days. A woman received 12 red roses from her husband, it is 1 credit to the love bank, to the husband there is 12 credits added to her bank account :grin2:

1.Be thankful he thought of you off on your trip.
2. Maybe having to manage kids, additional work at the office, etc has him overwhelmed, cut him a little slack.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

It does seem like the same person. This combined with the other ones: OP, seriously get yourself into therapy. I'm not trying to be mean, but your behavior is far outside of the norm and seriously abusive. 




toblerone said:


> lol this is the same chick that was obsessed with whether or not her husband was masturbating and always checking his underwear for cum stains.
> 
> 
> 
> sounds like you still got some stuff to work out, bianca


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Years ago when my wife's parents were both living, one Christmas eve my mother in law was in a terrible mood. She was upset and angry at her husband. He couldn't figure out why, and she wouldn't tell him, just acted like he should have known. She was always the controlling one in the relationship.

We eventually discovered that he had bought her a diamond ring for Christmas. Turns out she want to wear it for Christmas eve dinner and was upset that he haddn't given it to her a day early so that she could show it off.

Really. Not making this one up.


There are some fantastically self-centered, unreasonable people out there.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

uhtred said:


> Years ago when my wife's parents were both living, one Christmas eve my mother in law was in a terrible mood. She was upset and angry at her husband. He couldn't figure out why, and she wouldn't tell him, just acted like he should have known. She was always the controlling one in the relationship.
> 
> We eventually discovered that he had bought her a diamond ring for Christmas. Turns out she want to wear it for Christmas eve dinner and was upset that he haddn't given it to her a day early so that she could show it off.
> 
> ...


WOW! That's horrific.


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## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

I'd hate to see what OP would do if her H actually did something wrong.


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## Bianca Stella (Sep 26, 2017)

Malaise said:


> I'd hate to see what OP would do if her H actually did something wrong.


 I simply would leave him. If he was frank and confessed, I think I would applaud him for being brave and not a lying POS.


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## Bianca Stella (Sep 26, 2017)

uhtred said:


> It does seem like the same person. This combined with the other ones: OP, seriously get yourself into therapy. I'm not trying to be mean, but your behavior is far outside of the norm and seriously abusive.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 Yes I do, therefore I am a member of TAM. This is much better than paying $400 an hour.... I just cant believe the amount of hate, misogyny and anger from some people though. I know I can be harsh and spoiled but wowza. Last night I made it up to my H. I apologized and showed him a lot of love, tenderness and passion. Somehow the responses Ive gotten on this thread kept popping in my head... I am a terrible woman. I am just lucky he loves me because I apparently dont deserve it. Im the chick that checks for cum stains...


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

Bianca Stella said:


> Yes I do, therefore I am a member of TAM. This is much better than paying $400 an hour.... I just cant believe the amount of hate, misogyny and anger from some people though. I know I can be harsh and spoiled but wowza. Last night I made it up to my H. I apologized and showed him a lot of love, tenderness and passion. Somehow the responses Ive gotten on this thread kept popping in my head... I am a terrible woman. I am just lucky he loves me because I apparently dont deserve it. Im the chick that checks for cum stains...


TAM is not better than paying for real therapy which would be a good option for you. I will play along bc we are not allowed to say so when we don't buy posts that are unbelievable so for the hell of it...

get some real therapy, STAT. 

Hitting another person is never OK, never. I would have called the police and I hope your husband or another person does.

Expecting flowers bc you were away for 2 days is a tad unbalanced, slapping him because he didn't get you any is insane.

Oh and if your husband leaves you then be an adult and take responsibility for what you have done (my guess is that you will blame him).


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

Bianca Stella said:


> Yes I do, therefore I am a member of TAM. This is much better than paying $400 an hour.... I just cant believe the amount of hate, misogyny and anger from some people though. I know I can be harsh and spoiled but wowza. Last night I made it up to my H. I apologized and showed him a lot of love, tenderness and passion. Somehow the responses Ive gotten on this thread kept popping in my head... I am a terrible woman. I am just lucky he loves me because I apparently dont deserve it. Im the chick that checks for cum stains...


 @Bianca Stella, what response were you hoping to get from your original post? I really doubt anyone here would condone what you said and did to your husband after coming home.

You get mad at him for picking you up late even though you knew he was getting the kids first. Did you think to exercise patience, browse around the terminal for the extra hour? An hour goes by pretty fast with a book. 

You expect flowers and dinner when you come home like it should be the default (?). You've been away working. He's been at home working, too. Is the fact you were traveling somehow more worthy of a big welcome when you come back? Did you thank him for taking care of things at home while you were away?

I think most here are put off by your entitled attitude. A person who thinks their actions are perfectly acceptable are not going to listen to conventional, sugar-coated advice. Your post indicates you are one such person, so the responses you've received are more blunt and to the point.

Your behavior toward your husband is verging on abuse and if you really did slap him, IS abuse. There's no way we could sanely give you sugar-coated advice for that. No one should have to tolerate this from their spouse. And you should look inward at your anger and why you allow your anger to control you.

If you are diagnosed BPD (which I couldn't tell from your post, so if I misunderstood I'm sorry) then are you facing this issue? Are you seeing a doctor?

Your apology to your husband will only go so far until you go back to your old ways, so my advice to you would be to do everything in your power to understand your anger/resentment (and whether it's really warranted) and tackle it, before it costs you your marriage.


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## syhoybenden (Feb 21, 2013)

Jeeeezz. Poor guy. You sound, through all of your threads, to be so abusive.

Lady, lord knows that I generally hold in disregard all third-party 'professional' counselors but in your case I finally think I would make an exception.

Seek help.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Bianca Stella said:


> Hello all! Need to know if I?m overreacting... my H and I have had a great month. Lost of sex, talks, sexiness, drinks, etc... so I leave for work to another city fir 2 days and he packs a flower and a card to surprise me in my suitcase. When i get to the hotel and see it, I take a pic of myself holding the rose and told him how beautiful it was. I was in meetings for work and he was texting here and there to ask how I was etc... the day I get back his boss called in sick and he had more work than usual, our son gets sick and was with his grandparents. My h was gonna get me at the airport but he ran late because I told him to get the kids first instead of me. I waited an hour and was fuming... then we get home and there?s no food, no flowers, nothing! All he kept saying was that he was dying to be with me and have sex and fun, etc... i lost my mind and literally slapped him when we got home. Thoughts?


Lol, folks this cannot be a real post. No way.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Thoughts?

You should be in jail for physical assault. Who slaps someone because there's no dinner and flowers waiting? He should have called the cops and had your ass arrested.



frusdil said:


> Lol, folks this cannot be a real post. No way.


Agree.


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

Bianca Stella said:


> I simply would leave him. If he was frank and confessed, I think I would applaud him for being brave and not a lying POS.


OP, at this point it would seem best for all concerned if you did, at least until you are able to grow up and behave in an adult manner.



Bianca Stella said:


> Yes I do, therefore I am a member of TAM. This is much better than paying $400 an hour....Therapy nor TAM will be of any benefit to you until you accept the reality of the situation and own up to your self absorbed narcissism. I just cant believe the amount of hate, misogyny and anger from some people though.Hate , misogyny and anger? You feel this way because we all did not exonerate your behavior and applaud you for being unreasonable?How do you believe your H felt after leaving you the rose and note, working extra hours, tending to a sick child and arriving late to pick you up at the airport BECAUSE YOU told him to get the kids first? And it is we that have anger hatred and misogyny? We have only expressed verbal distaste for your behavior you actually struck the man. How would you have responded if he struck you back? An eye for an eye as it were? And, as a matter of fact, I am in no way angry nor do I have any ill feelings towards women, save those that behave as you are. I know I can be harsh and spoiled but wowza.Apparently the reality is you do not realize this unless you are admitting to sadism towards your H and whomever else crosses your path. Someone who truly acknowledges this type of behavior would strive, in earnest, to correct it. It appears that you feel it should be accepted and overlooked, demonstrating even more self-importance. Last night I made it up to my H. I apologized and showed him a lot of love, tenderness and passion.This does not "make it alright" but rather exemplifies to your H how meaningless your apologies are when this happens over and over. True remorse, and the ensuing apology, automatically implies sufficient regret to make the person not want to repeat the offensive behavior, thereby negating the need for future apologies. Somehow the responses Ive gotten on this thread kept popping in my head...This could be beneficial if it promotes change in your attitude and actions. I am a terrible woman. I am just lucky he loves me because I apparently dont deserve it. Im the chick that checks for cum stains...


The reality is that it is you that seems to display misandristic tendencies and anger. One of the intrinsic character traits of a narcissist is the almost complete lack of empathy, which you seem to exhibit in abundance. You automatically assume misogyny and hatred from people offering you an objective opinion that differs from your own? Granted, some conveyed their thoughts with more exuberance but even at that, no one struck you. So who really 'hates' more? You are certainly free to do with the advice in this thread as you wish but it was intended as help nevertheless. Good fortune to you.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

I think that form on TAM could be better: it is ok to address actions and point out where the OP may have done something wrong but I don’t feel it is ok to attack the personality of the poster based on their posts no matter what ridiculous things they write. Different people have different writing styles and some can come across a certain way due to their inability to express themselves well or simply due to the way they phrase things. 
Having said that, slapping someone for not getting flowers is an odd thing to do for an ordinary couple 🧐 
Having unrealistic expectations from a relationship doesn’t bode well. But we know nothing about their relationship dynamic otherwise - they maybe into some crazy slapping/cum stains spying games.... 
I thought this thread was hilarious (as was the cum stains thread). 
Does nobody here have a sense of humour? (As long as nobody is getting hurt...though slapping someone is probably not a good idea  


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Bianca Stella said:


> the day I get back his boss called in sick and he had more work than usual, our son gets sick and was with his grandparents. My h was gonna get me at the airport but he ran late because I told him to get the kids first instead of me. I waited an hour and was fuming... then we get home and there?s no food, no flowers, nothing! All he kept saying was that he was dying to be with me and have sex and fun, etc... i lost my mind and literally slapped him when we got home. Thoughts?



A ‘narcissistic, self entitled princess’ would most certainly have omitted all the details that explained the very legitimate reasons why the husband was prevented to get flowers and prepare the food 
Good story though!




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## Lostme (Nov 14, 2014)

I would have been happy just getting the rose and card in my suit case.

I'm sorry but you really sound unappreciative, I feel bad for for husband. 

Do you abuse him often? I think you need to seek professional counseling.


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## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

Bianca Stella said:


> I simply would leave him. If he was frank and confessed, I think I would applaud him for being brave and not a lying POS.


"Yes dear, I used the wire hangers"


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

I think the loser husband that was late to get his wife from the airport and had her no flowers or supper prepared, got just what he deserved.

And, he tells her he wants sex and fun?
Oh heck yes, slap him!

Seriously, though, we should call the cops for a SLAP? I think that's about as crazy as the OP who clearly thinks the entire universe revolves around her.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Physical abuse tends to escalate if it isn't stopped. Slaps turn into punches, thrown shoes, or pots and pans. The "comic" view of the angry wife hitting her husband with a rolling pin isn't funny - its a club and can break bones. 

Same as the upset husband who grabs his wife's wrists hard enough to bruise. Who gets angry and punches her. Eventually beats her bloody.

I really believe in zero tolerance for physical assault. 






Evinrude58 said:


> snip
> 
> Seriously, though, we should call the cops for a SLAP? I think that's about as crazy as the OP who clearly thinks the entire universe revolves around her.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

OP - You are not recognizing the seriousness of your situation. At best when he recognizes your behavior he will leave you. At worst you will end up in prison for assault. 

Again, your behavior is NOT normal. Maybe you saw this type of behavior in your parents, but it isn't the way couples behave. 





Bianca Stella said:


> Yes I do, therefore I am a member of TAM. This is much better than paying $400 an hour.... I just cant believe the amount of hate, misogyny and anger from some people though. I know I can be harsh and spoiled but wowza. Last night I made it up to my H. I apologized and showed him a lot of love, tenderness and passion. Somehow the responses Ive gotten on this thread kept popping in my head... I am a terrible woman. I am just lucky he loves me because I apparently dont deserve it. Im the chick that checks for cum stains...


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Bianca Stella said:


> I simply would leave him. If he was frank and confessed, I think I would applaud him for being brave and not a lying POS.


If your husband is "a lying POS" then he has done something wrong and consistently does wrong. So why have you not left him?


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Bianca Stella said:


> Hello all! Need to know if I?m overreacting... my H and I have had a great month. Lost of sex, talks, sexiness, drinks, etc... so I leave for work to another city fir 2 days and he packs a flower and a card to surprise me in my suitcase. When i get to the hotel and see it, I take a pic of myself holding the rose and told him how beautiful it was. I was in meetings for work and he was texting here and there to ask how I was etc... the day I get back his boss called in sick and he had more work than usual, our son gets sick and was with his grandparents. My h was gonna get me at the airport but he ran late because I told him to get the kids first instead of me. I waited an hour and was fuming... then we get home and there?s no food, no flowers, nothing! All he kept saying was that he was dying to be with me and have sex and fun, etc... i lost my mind and literally slapped him when we got home. Thoughts?


Sent you on with a flower and card. Texted you frequently. He then gets more busy for others being sick. He was late to the airport for you at your request. Nothing in hand or at home for you. What a pig your H is. Divorce him.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Evinrude58 said:


> Seriously, though, we should call the cops for a SLAP? I think that's about as crazy as the OP who clearly thinks the entire universe revolves around her.


Multiple reasons starting and ending with documenting behavior to use later when asking a judge for a restraining order, a divorce and asset division ruling, custody order, etc.


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## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

One thread says you should report to authorities. Another says you shouldn't because it will only hurt you in court or some ****. But that was focused more on impending divorces/separations.


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## JayDee7 (Sep 12, 2017)

I feel sorry for your husband. You slapped him? He should reconsider being married to an abusive woman.


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

Malaise said:


> "Yes dear, I used the wire hangers"


Wire hangers are a crime against humanity, there is no room for them in this house. I could never be with a dry cleaner knowing they are handling wire hangers all day.


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## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)




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