# Where Do I Go From Here...



## Brenlou69 (Oct 12, 2010)

On Sunday, I told my husband I was no longer in love with him and wanted our marriage to be over. I absolutely love him but I am not in love with him anymore. We have been seperated tried to revive the relationship only to have me not being able to give what he needed. 

He is completely devastated. I am a basket case. Two days ago everything seemed so clear and now my emotions and fears are clouding the way and allowing doubt and second-guessing to take over my world. Where do I go...what do I do?


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## wherenext (Sep 14, 2010)

i dont have a lot of really good advice for you, as Im pretty much in the same boat (just posted my thread). I can tell you that you can't let those doubts and fears get in the way...i mean you have to really examine each and every one of them and determine if they are real reasons or just fear?

why were you guys separated?


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## Brenlou69 (Oct 12, 2010)

He has been in a lifelong battle with drugs and alcohol. We've been through using, dealing, jail time, loss of jobs and licenses, alienation, humiliation, betrayal, anger...you name it.

He got out of jail four years ago, after being diagnosed as bipolar and things were so much better - we finally married (note we've been together total of 21 years, would be married 4 on Saturday).

Things changed, I wanted more, I needed someone without secrets, drugs, demons and it took a toll on our marriage and our sex life. That eventually turned into him slipping up with drugs earlier this year and I asked him to leave. 

Every corner of our life is filled with a memory of his sneaky behavior, or remnants of things he's done to upset us. He recently lost his job, and moved back home....and then this weekend a series of unfortunate events that resulted in him not doing something he promised to do while I was out of town was the final straw. I just snapped and had finally had enough.

He has a great heart, and has really bent over backwards to try to do whatever it is I want but its just not there, I cannot reciprocate the love he has and I am just so sorry that I cannot get passed it all - but after months of living apart and therapy we are no closer than we ever were.


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