# Why does the "one that filed" have to pay both lawyers?



## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

Yesterday a bill from my wife's lawyer came in the mail. I didn't open it since it wasn't addressed to me but clearly said in the envelope window "Invoice for stbx". It made me pretty mad because the lawyer sucks and is slow as Christmas and I don't think she's earned the $1,500 retainer I paid her in March. In fact we've been waiting over 2 months now for her to respond to my last counter-offer for settlement.

My wife has said a couple of times to me "you want the divorce, you <insert task here>". Like "you tell the kids" or "you pay the lawyers", etc.

So how is it that this woman (my stbx), who hasn't fulfilled 25% of her wedding vows in our marriage, won't get a job, doesn't clean much, doesn't cook meals, hasn't been physical with me since our kids were born.....how is it the assumption is made that I have to pay her lawyers fees because I'm the one who filed?

So unfair. Just thinking out loud.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

That's odd. I paid for my own lawyer when I got divorced and exH paid for his (he filed).


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Send it back to her lawyer and tell her to send it to her client. They are trying to screw you.


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## littlejaz (Oct 17, 2013)

I agree with Amplexor. I don't think you have to pay for her attorney - at least not in my state.

I filed and am going to try to get the judge to make him pay at least part of my attorney fees - because he has defied court orders which have increased them.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Usually, you don't pay an opponent's attorney fees unless and until there's a court order. Sometimes in divorce the court can say the fees incurred in the divorce are part of support, but even then there's an order of the court.
Send it back


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

She doesn't work? Does she have separate income?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I think it's as the others have said... Most likely it's because you have the only income (in which case you've joined the "Bend Over" club), not because you filed first.

C


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Amplexor said:


> Send it back to her lawyer and tell her to send it to her client. They are trying to screw you.


*If it's mandated by the court, you have no choice! If it is not mandated, then send it back to the lawyer. And if it shows up yet again, just send it your local Bar Association with a letter of explanation. Also send a copy of the letter to the presiding judge in your case. They just love dealing with crap like that! Especially against some smartass overbearing lawyer that they might have developed a dislike for!*


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

You said the invoice was addressed to your wife. So SHE is being billed for her lawyer.



> My wife has said a couple of times to me "you want the divorce, you <insert task here>". Like "you tell the kids" or "you pay the lawyers", etc.


I see. Ok, then, you have to pay both because you are accepting your wife's rules. 

If she's unemployed, I guess she has no money of her own so it's out of your joint funds anyway.


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Then tell her lawyer she's not working for your wife, she's working for you.


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## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

Amplexor said:


> Send it back to her lawyer and tell her to send it to her client. They are trying to screw you.


It wasn't addressed to me. I just saw the envelope in our mail.

My lawyer said it was pretty much a given in FL that if I filed, I'd be paying her lawyer fees. And no, she doesn't work so if I want the divorce to happen, I have to let her use "our money" to pay her lawyer.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Do not pay until order to by the court, until that time she's only hoping that you have to pay, but if you work and she doesn't, sounds like you will pay the bill. Sucks doesn't it.


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