# Any success stories from couples that have made it from poverty??



## Disposition (Aug 2, 2011)

it would be nice, and even a little reassuring, if there are any successful marriages that have fought through very hard financial times and could maybe post how you overcame it?
we've been hurting financially for soooo long, it's just hard to see the light sometimes. any help or advice would be greatly appreciated!!
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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

Pandakiss said:


> no we didnt make it out of it ...yet. soon the kids will be 18 and we will be alright.
> 
> but, whats more important love or money..?? i didnt marry to be financial well off. money is nice, but my husband would have to work 2 jobs and i would have to work one.
> 
> ...


Where I live, you can take a waxing course for $500 wax included and make $25-$50 an hour. Look for something like that to do where you can 'earn' extra money. Where I live if you're unemployed you can get sponsored for such a course.
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## Disposition (Aug 2, 2011)

lol, not to sound like that panda, but a lot of what you described would be like winning the lotto for me. i'm 30 and have been beyond broke for the last 50 years, lol. i know just about every trick in the book to make my dollar stretch. sure love is way more important, but i'd be fooling myself if i said money wasn't important. whom ever said money can't buy happiness hasn't been poor, lol.
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## Disposition (Aug 2, 2011)

things like tax time are nonexsistant for me. i'm disabled and bc of that my wife don't work to tend to me. on top of that we take care of my 15 yo niece. cell phones, cars? nope. no saving for that. our biggest thing we "save" for is once a month i cook a "fancy" dinner, lol, yay me. i've tried so many things, but none panned out.
now, i'm just at a loss.
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## Disposition (Aug 2, 2011)

(sorry for mult. posts)
i just wanted to point out also, aside from money, my marriage is pretty good. like you panda, we've developed this bond i suppose to cope with everything else. we make the most with what we have. and i hate not working, it drives me ****ing insane. i've always worked, now i'm forced on the sidelines remembering the days when i could provide for my family. sorry for venting, but it just gets hard, you know? good things should happen to good people!
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## Disposition (Aug 2, 2011)

thanks for the advice panda. i totally know what you mean in regards to store deals and coupons. the store near me does double coupons twice weekly. i'm usually able to drop an $80 order down to about $20 usually. winning the lottery would be nice, even a small one, hell, i'm not greedy, lol. as for cell, can't afford the extra expense, i get free minutes from a gov. program, so that's kinda neat. as i said, we really try to make due. we try to make extra income as much as we can.
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## Disposition (Aug 2, 2011)

thanks for the link trad3mark!! it's much appreciated!
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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

When my daughter was born, I was just out of the Army with no real skills or education, and i was working at Home Depot for a pittance, and later started working for the airlines, which wasn't much better money-wise. For awhile, I was even working two jobs-one in sales.
We were living in a one bedroom apartment with more than half the residents being illegal immigrants (they would all hang out in the parking lot, until a squad car came thru on the usual rounds, then they'd all disappear quickly), and things weren't looking too good.
Then I got the job with the railroad (I guess you can say I was lucky-right place at the right time), and some years later, we have a nice house in a nice neighborhood, two cars, we have extra money and don't fret about bills, and always have enough to take a nice vacation every couple of years.
No, we aren't rich by most peoples definition of the term, but I have a job I love, the most wonderful wife who stayed even thru the lean years, a mega-intelligent, well-behaved and beautiful daughter, and most of all, I have peace of mind.

I feel that I'm richer than most.


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## Disposition (Aug 2, 2011)

thank you so much for the wonderful story, and especially for your service! 
i sometimes feel that way. for as broke as we are, we do get our moments where things are ok. my wife has stuck by me through so much, it's just literally painful at times not being able to provide for her as i want...as i should be able to. it's just hard seeing how things can change without being able to work. but do what i can, for her...
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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

When we were young and 1st got together we didn't have 2 nickels to rub together. We lived in a gov housing project and drove whatever we could buy for $500 or so. I told her give me 4 yrs and we will own a house I promise. I got a new job that I thought would be temp but moved up quickly and have now been there 16 yrs. We saved and dreamed and bought that house. My kids think we are lying when we tell them that things like trips to Florida and flat screen tvs were unthinkable at one time for us. Having the extra money for a pizza and a VCR rental were high living for us back then.


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## strawberry (Jun 21, 2010)

Pandakiss said:


> no we didnt make it out of it ...yet. soon the kids will be 18 and we will be alright.
> 
> but, whats more important love or money..?? i didnt marry to be financial well off. money is nice, but my husband would have to work 2 jobs and i would have to work one.
> 
> ...


hi,

i would like to hear more of your stories. i am going tru similair problems in life and it can be worst. i am so scare sometimes that my whole body turn cold.


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

Pandakiss said:


> no we didnt make it out of it ...yet. soon the kids will be 18 and we will be alright.
> 
> but, whats more important love or money..?? i didnt marry to be financial well off. money is nice, but my husband would have to work 2 jobs and i would have to work one.
> 
> ...


That's great that you do all those things but, what struck me the most is where you stated you would have to work one job. In this day and age, two income families are generally a must.
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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Disposition said:


> it would be nice, and even a little reassuring, if there are any successful marriages that have fought through very hard financial times and could maybe post how you overcame it?
> we've been hurting financially for soooo long, it's just hard to see the light sometimes. any help or advice would be greatly appreciated!!


Me & my husband met in our teens, both shared the same dreams --SAVE SAVE SAVE like mad- we wanted an old farmhouse, land, privacy - kids & me to stay at home. But his job sucked, we married anyway .

I worked full time till we had our 1st son. The most my husband ever made at this job was $8.25/hr -he stayed there being a faithful employee for 18 long yrs because the health benefits were killer excellent. , this paid for my pregnancies & infertility testing. He went to Computer school -but never got anythng from it. We had 3 kids on his 1 income , we never had trouble paying bills or buying what we needed. (Our rent was cheap, landlord his aunt) Luxeries were pretty much forbidden unless it was major important to us . We always had too much $$ saved to get food stamps -but were low income "enough". I did have small side jobs here & there to bring in an extra $2,000 a year generally. 

I just want to say... Me & My husband are both very very *THRIFTY*, we were able to put down $15,000 on our 1st house 4 yrs after we married -not our dream abode by any means but it was half of the price of the house, had an acre & we saw potential for Profit with some fixing, we installed a wood furnce, built a chimney, laid cement, new roof, worked on that for 2 yrs, turned around & sold it for $13,000 more than we paid for it. 

Then bought our Country Farm house we wanted w/acrerage.
We was able to put down $40,000 this time. 2 yrs later he got his current job- MUCH better pay-but not rich, just decent blue collar wages - Starting out at $14/hr ....We went on to have 3 more kids. He is still at this same job (approx $50,000 a year), we cut our 15 year house loan in half , by the time I gave birth to our last child at 40, we were completely DEBT FREE. 


We are admittably cheap- or the nicer term is "frugal". I used to own a book called the "Tightwad Gazette" Amazon.com: The Complete Tightwad Gazette (9780375752254): Amy Dacyczyn: Books Yeah, much of those things were a way of life for us, especially when he had his 1st job. I used cloth diapers on my 1st 3 kids & I hung them on the clothes line too! (in the country, no neighbors). We have always had a nice stash for emergencies. Never had a fight about $$. We refuse to pay interest on anything. 

How we live. Could look at this as advice

1. I don't buy my kids expensive cell phones or designer clothes
2. I have a tracfone (averages $7 a month if you buy cards on Ebay, only use mine for emegencies- my older phone has FREE incoming text so I keep it -no bells & whistles at all. 
3. I Use Google Voice for free long distance calling.
4. My kids use their ipods for Free texting 
5. I clip coupons & do Buy ONe Get ONE free deals
6. I only buy on sale
7. I use ebay for their games & many items 
8. Buy my books used online
9. I search anything & everything for competitive pricing from contacts to tires online, call stores
10. I go to Flea markers
11. I buy clothes at Consignment shops
12. I do rebates, 
13. We have a rule -only water when eating out
14. We try to do our own home projects
15. Paint & repair our own cars
16. we take the family to the $1 theater on the day is only 75 cents a movie, we skip the popcorn, (of coarse with friends I will let them pay $6 a movie- we just don't do that as a family-too costly). 
17. I cook mostly from scratch as boxed & prepared items cost too much
18. We have X amount come directly out of his paycheck every week in savings- helps you save if not slipping through your hands 
19. I use Big Crumb.com to earn $$ on some stores online-it adds up !
20. We only buy older cars -have never gotten a car loan in our lives
21. I use CHASE credit cards , always pay in full, they give you perks to earn 2- 5% on every dollar spent , I generally make $300 a year free - just by using my CC on everything from food to gas to bills. (they do not like customers like me) http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/the-best-cash-back-credit-cards/
22. If I see a killer credit card offer, like a free DISNEY Visa giving away $200 in free disney dallors after your 1st purchase -I jump on that - I plan to use this to deduct $200 from our tickets when we go later this year.
23. I cut all my boy's hair with the buzzer , and my husbands. 


I used to enjoy watching Suze Orman internationally acclaimed personal finance expert : The Suze Orman Show : Will & Trust Kit : FICO Kit : Insurance Kit : Women & Money 

We are NOT rich by others standars of INCOME -but we feel we are doing pretty darn good.


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

I wasn't attacking you. My H and I both work FT and we still have every evening together and our weekends are ours. 

Neither one of us finished 
college. 
We have 4 children. Our oldest has moved out. We have 3 at home ages 18, 11 and 2. I am home by 2pm everyday. I generally have dinner ready for him when he gets home. House is clean and laundry is done. 

We own our home and have nice things due to both of us working. I grew up VERY poor. Always hiding from the landlord, having the electricity turned off, no phone, no car and always wondering if there would be anything to eat. I swore my kids would NEVER go through that. 

It's great you want to spend time together. I'm just saying it is possible to still have quality time as a couple and family when both parents work.
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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

Without writing a book went from losing a home and filing bk in 1998 and moving into a apartment......very humbling lots of overspending and mistakes. 

Barely paying rent, me working two jobs 80hrs week, I don't remember my oldest daughters 5-6th grade years at school. Now I have a bachelors and I've worked my way up at one of those two jobs making 6 figures now. My wife got her bsn and is currently in a MSN program while working full time bringing in 80k. 

We bought a new home 6 years ago, max out our 401k, and life is good now. We'll never forget driving a beat up ole 1978 station wagon and cramming 5 people on a 700sq/ft apt though. 

Good luck op it takes tons of hard work.
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## Disposition (Aug 2, 2011)

thanks geesh, and panda, and everyone else. it's nice to see that i'm doing some things right with what i have to work with. i suppose the only barrier that may seperate our experiances is my disability. believe me, it's not the hard work that keeps me from success. i yearn for hard work. i'm just physically unable to do it.so now i'm stuck wondering now how do i achieve success?
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## maccheese (Jul 25, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Me & my husband met in our teens, both shared the same dreams --SAVE SAVE SAVE like mad- we wanted an old farmhouse, land, privacy - kids & me to stay at home. But his job sucked, we married anyway .
> 
> I worked full time till we had our 1st son. The most my husband ever made at this job was $8.25/hr -he stayed there being a faithful employee for 18 long yrs because the health benefits were killer excellent. , this paid for my pregnancies & infertility testing. He went to Computer school -but never got anythng from it. We had 3 kids on his 1 income , we never had trouble paying bills or buying what we needed. (Our rent was cheap, landlord his aunt) Luxeries were pretty much forbidden unless it was major important to us . We always had too much $$ saved to get food stamps -but were low income "enough". I did have small side jobs here & there to bring in an extra $2,000 a year generally.
> 
> ...


You definately have to work together and decide to live below your means. Especially these days, things are so uncertain, you can't really take any dollar for granted. I agree with a lot of the things on the above post. I love that I have discovered couponing and the 40% I save on our groceries is great! Would really like to save any more, but don't want to make it a stressor. Staying debt free is always a priority. As long as you continue to owe other people and pay them interest, you will NEVER get anywhere. I also get a lot of free codes for the Blockbuster movies kiosk in our area so I never pay even a $1 for those movies. We also have a very strict gas budget. Gas is too high to just be riding all over town. I also love thrift stores and consignment shops and for my little baby, I'm not buying expensive clothes for her to grown out of in three months. I really do hope that in light of your disability, that you are able to find something or work with someone to help you generate some income. Also, the situation is not necessarily poverty, especially if you're able to have cable and buy groceries. Poverty stricken families don't even come close to being able to do this.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

maccheese said:


> You definately have to work together and decide to live below your means. Especially these days, things are so uncertain, you can't really take any dollar for granted. I agree with a lot of the things on the above post.


Strange as it may sound, me & my husband has NEVER sat down & did a Budget- ever. One thing we always did was - have X amount come directly OUT OF HIS PAY and straight into our Credit Union, what you don't see, you learn not to miss & that keeps building & building . Then when you get your statement, it is like "Wow, that really added up fast!" And many times we take that out & put it in CD's, those rates are terrible these days though. 



> I love that I have discovered couponing and the 40% I save on our groceries is great! Would really like to save any more, but don't want to make it a stressor. Staying debt free is always a priority.


 When I go to Giant Eagle to shop, I feel like I didnt do a good job if I didn't "save as much as I spent" (between their BOGOs, savings & my coupons doubled), that is my barometer for being a good grocery shopper. It IS time consuming to do all this couponing, but I always smile when I see the results on that receipt. Or I think - I didn't save enough that time around. 

If I don't take the time to coupon, I go to lower priced stores with generics. I met a lady once who had like 10 kids, she showed me what she does....gets the Grocery Ads the day they come out- studys them for BOGO's - buy matching coupons for 5 cents or so ONLINE (many times from different states), gets them in the mail 2 days later, goes to the store & literally cuts her food bill probably more than 75% - gets many items totally for FREE. She only shops where they double the coupons. I did this for a time but it was VERY TIME CONSUMING, I got tired of the hassle & always feared my mail would be late, I would miss the deals and sometimes the store didn't have as many of the items that I bought coupons for! 

On a couple occassions I had the cashier owing me change, those were really funny moments -to see the look on thier face. 

People give me coupons, so that is what I do, but I don't buy the newspapers to get them. I have a plastic case , with all my coupons separated in there , labeled in sections, I get that out every week, sit down with the ad, an envelope, pen & see what I can save on. 



> We also have a very strict gas budget. Gas is too high to just be riding all over town.


 For our family size & where we live, we MUST have a 4x4 Suburban or we wouldn't even get out of the driveway in the winter. To even that out, we purposely bought a 4 cylinder car that seats 6 (almost impossible to find) & use this for most of our trips -his work- but if the whole family has to go, it HAS to be the Burb, we can even throw in another kid or 2. Costs near $100 to fill that thing up!

One lady in my Mops group says she uses SwagBucks for her search Engine online and makes $$ off of that, taking surveys, just surfing I guess earns "points". I tried it but missed my Google! 

The reviews about it are pretty darn good though: 

Swagbucks Reviews - Viewpoints


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## SepticChange (Aug 21, 2011)

Wow. Just wow. I'm loving these stories. Definitely inspiring and shows that if the two of you stick together you can work through anything no matter how stressful it may be. My husband is in the army now but he's being medboarded out in a couple of months. He has no real job skill because he was infantry. He wants to use the post 9/11 to go to school but doesn't know what for.

Months ago I had to drop out of college due to stupid choices which resulted in my lack of financial aid and my father abandoning me in every financial way possible. I was stuck. I still wanted to go to school. So he suggested I joined the military...to get a little start on life while being able to go to school for free. Now all I have to do is not get hurt in basic training otherwise we're screwed.

I plan on doing just 4 years then finishing up my degree but he encourages me to see the army for what it is and if I decide I like it then to make it a career, get my degree and go officer. It's not likely but ok I'll see how it goes. The job I was given I was told is tranferable into the civilian world, which I hope in this economy I can get something once I get out. It will be a pain for both of us to work and go to school at the same time. That's what I'm worried about the most. Rough times may be ahead of us. It will suck because we both have debts and I know I could handle it but can WE handle it is the question. 

Financial problems does indeed put stress on a marriage but I would gladly be living off of food stamps or in a homeless shelter WITH him and not run away because of it.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

Disposition said:


> it would be nice, and even a little reassuring, if there are any successful marriages that have fought through very hard financial times and could maybe post how you overcame it?
> we've been hurting financially for soooo long, it's just hard to see the light sometimes. any help or advice would be greatly appreciated!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


*hug* Just hold on tight to each other and remember your vows...for richer or poorer.

We were hit HARD by the recession. Right after we were engaged, my husband lost his job because the company went bankrupt. Consequently, he did not receive any severance after nearly six years of slaving. For a year, my husband looked for work with no success. Just as his unemployment was going to run out, he found work in his field. :smthumbup:

I have been having a difficult time finding work at reputable places, without racism or lies about the job description. Just today, I had an interview at a place that boasted decent pay in the ad, yet only paid minimum bloody wage once I got in the door!!!  If they call me, I will tell them where to shove their lies.

So we had a wedding that really was not what we wanted, but it was what we could afford.  

We are still poor in my opinion; we will not be able to buy a home for at least five years. However, we have been able to buy new bedroom furniture and a brand new car recently, instead of the old clunker that was eating all our money with repairs. We can finally afford to go visit my in laws as well. 

Things are looking up and they will for you too, love. Just keep working hard and working with each other....you will be fine. :smthumbup: Your day will come.


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## Disposition (Aug 2, 2011)

ty FYD. thankfully we are there for eachother. it is nice seeing everyone making the most, as do we. most luxuries we do have were free or something similar. we've discovered and use just about every trick in the book to get by. thankfully finances are not really an issue for US, just me really. i want to do MORE for my family who's so supportive. i'm just at a loss, and now our only car's broken....oh well.....
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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Of course, having a W who works with a budget the way Dave Gilmour works a Fender Strat doesn't hurt!


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Not all that long ago, basically everyone was poor. They didn't call it "poverty". They just called it "life". Sit down with a really old couple and they'll tell you all about it. My grandparents have been married over 70 years. They positively adore each other and they were so poor, ****roaches and mice wouldn't have wasted their time with them. 
Back during WWI, my great grandfather developed an illness and had to move south for his health. He packed his whole family up in a model T and drove to Florida with no money and no idea how they'd get by. Their family of four camped beside the road for a year, eating swamp cabbage and leftovers from the fields. Both are dead now but their marriage lasted over 60 years and they were the sweetest couple you could ever imagine. Their kids grew up and both had very long, satisfying marriages, through poverty and prosperity. I think couples who endure hardships together often have stronger and richer relationships than those who haven't.


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## moonangel (Jan 19, 2011)

I've lived poor and broke separately.

Poor - My parents were poor...we were a big family of 9. In those days Dad only made $6 an hour and he worked for the city. We lived in a government home full of roaches. Relatives laughed at us and would say, "Did you bring the roaches with you?" when we'd visit them. Friends told me my house looked like a shack and one asked, "Why do you guys live in an alley?" I was always afraid to bring friends over because all the ones I brought over, never returned or talked to me again. I made my way through high school and college and while in college moved away from that house (but it was hard because my parents already determined that I was stupid and shouldn't waste time going to school...and that I should get married to an old man and pop out babies).

Broke and then success - I was doing well financially during college since I worked full-time too. I paid rent for a nice apartment, had my own car, and worked one full time job and part-time jobs on the side (receptionist, waiter, etc. on the weekends). I went to school in the evening. I saved up.

During my last year in college, I met the man who became my husband. I was also laid off from my FT job so I worked at a PT job so that I could go to college FT and finish up. After I graduated, the industry I majored in crashed. Husband was also in the same major so we both struggled to find good jobs. We both worked PT while we looked for FT jobs. I got pregnant so I stopped looking for awhile. We were living in my parent's home at the time. After living with them for 3 months, they kicked us out for no reason (actually, one of my sister who was living there said either we go or she goes and my parent's said we should go...even though I was 5 months pregnant and extremely sick from it--that sister also moved out 3 months later so I don't understand why she wanted us out so bad). 

We moved out unprepared for anything. There were days when we only had $20 in our checking account. No savings of any kind. I mentioned it to my family who pretty much just said, "That's too bad." They talked about the fund things they did and we were left to just...I don't know...realize our bad luck? It was hard to be around them with them knowing how broke we were. They would say things like, "You should try this or that..." and I would say, "I can't afford it." And they would say, "Oh...well, you should try it when you have the money 'cause it's a lot of fun."

Husband's parents helped us pay some bills because there were a few months in which we had no money. I wanted husband to sell his truck (he bought it for work but he no longer did that kind of work). I had a car too but I paid if off during college. 

One of my sister's did lend us some money for our wedding. She was the one that said, "Either you go or I'll go" when we were living with parents. I think she regretted what she did and wanted to help us. We had a small wedding...$7K and no honeymoon.

We had another baby. There's 5 years between the first and second. We would have wanted them closer in age but financially there was no way. At this time, I was working FT so husband could go to school FT. He worked PT (16hrs a week or less). Our kids were in daycare and it was not the best daycare so I worried a lot (my older child...who is now 9 went through so much). My family and husband's family were not willing to help with mon-fri sitting and only his parents were willing to watch twice a year and only for important things, like if I had an early work meeting or husband and my anniversary (which would be dinner so only couple of hours otherwise they'd get really upset and refuse to watch again).

Husband graduated 2 years ago and now makes 6 digits. Since he graduated, I quit my job to be home with our 2 kids. It is a blessing and a pleasure to be home and watch our kids grow and take them to school and all their extracurricular activities. But, the journey is what I remember. It still hurts sometimes when I see how my parents watch my brother's 3 kids all day 24-hrs on end and how my siblings get all excited and happy when they tell me how much fun it was to take my brother's kids out to a movie or babysit them. They never did that with my 2 kids. They never asked or offered and when I did ask when my kids were the same age as my brother's, they said they were too busy and couldn't do it.

...but I'm happy because I have 2 kids that love me and my husband is the most wonderful-est person I know. He works hard and loves hard.


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## gohereall (Dec 2, 2011)

whom ever said money can't buy happiness hasn't been poor, lol.


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## FurryFluffy (Dec 2, 2011)

I live in 3rd world country, so I bet most people still consider that I live in poverty lol.

But here's my story anyway 
I came for average family, I'm the first of three. He too came from average family, the youngest of two.
By the time we got married, we were starting from scratch. Lucky for us that we didn't have to pay some mortgage; he had the house already. It's not big or fancy, but it's enough for 4 of us (2 humans, 2 dogs, hahahaha)

In the 4th months of marriage, by some saving he had, he ran a recording project just to be burnt for approx.3,5K USD [I'll use the conversion here]. It was a HUGE amount of money for newlywed. Plus a friend burnt us too regarding to the project. This problem resolved later, though. At the mean time, he ran another project, again, we burnt.
I wasn't mad at him, because I knew he was only trying his best. Those dirtbags are the guilty one, not my husband.

By that time I was working as an editor for a magazine. Not much of the salary, but a lot for the extras that I rarely used (freebies from high end boutiques, spas, etc; which I wasn't interest into).
First two years was hard. We had his parents helped us with some financial issues. Not that we were spent much, the money we had just covered basic needs and we were busting our as* to save some money. Money was tight, he had some projects here and there to manage our needs. He's not the type of an employee, and truthfully, neither of us. 

Lucky enough we both never planned for a child,so there's no extra expenditure.

By the time we hit 3rd year of marriage, he started his own business, different from the first ones. With some leftover in the saving, he bought some PCs, camera and those gadget-things. Things are getting better. I then quit my job to help him. But then I got my own clients, so I started my own business.

So now we manage to save most of our income, and we don't spend a lot; sometimes he'd let me buy designer bags or some girls' stuff if our balance is good.We join a gym together and membership in a spa&resort nearby.

We still ride that ugly scooter if it's not raining; car is only for long distance traveling, live in the same house, have another dog, and buy things we need for work. We have no debts, have no maxed card (never use it anyway), so we're quite happy with our financial. If we want something costs rather expensive, we'd save for couple of months before finally have the money to buy it.

But nothing is free, I guess. We both work from home, each day is ++12hrs of work. We're beat hahahaha. So the sex department started to have issues. We're still working the kinks, so wish us luck


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