# Husband wants me to sleep with a stranger. Please help!



## gg27030 (Oct 13, 2011)

After 4 years of a happy marriage my husband recently confessed that his ultimate desire is for me to have sex with another person. He wants this person to be a stranger that I hit on at the grocery store or meet randomly or online. I have always prided myself on being a good and faithful wife and am disgusted at this thought. It is all he wants. He has become obsessed with it and it is basically all we talk about. I have told him that I don't want this and suggested therapy but he just keeps obsessing on this fantasy.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Don't do it, but do ask him to go get therapy. his fantasy will kill your self respect and the marriage.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Draw a huge line in the sand. Tell him NO and if he cannot stop talking about it, show him the door.

He wants to twist your marriage into something else.

Likely has latent homosexual urges.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

Maybe I can put some light on this from his view. I think that my wife is so beautiful when we are making love that I have expressed my desire to see it from the "outside". Of course, she said "Absolutely NOT!", and I really don't want to see her have sex with another man, but it is kind of a fantasy of mine. However, I think that I prefer to keep it a fantasy.
Do you think that if maybe you guys filmed yourselves it would satisfy his urge?


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

gg27030 said:


> After 4 years of a happy marriage my husband recently confessed that his ultimate desire is for me to have sex with another person. He wants this person to be a stranger that I hit on at the grocery store or meet randomly or online. I have always prided myself on being a good and faithful wife and am disgusted at this thought. It is all he wants. He has become obsessed with it and it is basically all we talk about. I have told him that I don't want this and suggested therapy but he just keeps obsessing on this fantasy.


Don't do it. If he keeps on, you should move on to a husband who will not treat you like trash.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Don't go against your morals or wants.

Did he say why??


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## gg27030 (Oct 13, 2011)

He won't talk about it in person, won't say why other than he thinks it is hot. He only wants to send text messages about is. It's like he is a complete stranger to me. I am at my wit's end.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I wouldn't be ok with this and would probably lose my cool.

What he's asking you to do it not cool especially knowing you don't want to do it.

UNLESS he just wants the fantasy--- by sending texts, it seems as such.


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

that_girl said:


> UNLESS he just wants the fantasy--- by sending texts, it seems as such.


Maybe that girl is on to something.

Text him back that you are doing it, see what he does.

If it was me, I would be leading the entire police department on a high speed chase to my home!


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

If he wants texts, then give him texts.

I'm scared.
I'm scared but excited.
I can't believe I'm going to do this.
Holy crap I'm doing this.
It's amazing, I came so hard.
I came again.
O.M.G.
Don't wait up.
I never knew it could be like this.
We need to talk.
Well there doesn't seem to be any point dragging this out, I just don't have any hope of experiencing this with you, so don't want to waste anymore of my life with you.
Please pack my things up in boxes or something. He wants me again lol. I'll stop by in a few days and get them.


Then see how he reacts.


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

Atholk said:


> If he wants texts, then give him texts.
> 
> I'm scared.
> I'm scared but excited.
> ...


I love it!:lol:


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## Benevolent (Oct 7, 2011)

Pretty funny Atholk 

gg27030 - some guys find this a turn on, but I don't think that it matters. As long as it is something against your morals and outside your commitments to each other as a husband and wife, you simply shouldn't do it if you don't want to. It will change you and your relationship with your husband.

It's strange that he doesn't understand that there is a good chance that living out one fantasy he is obsessed with, will quite possibly ruin his marriage.

Explain to him "this was not what I married you for, my answer is no and will always be no...please stop asking as it makes me feel very uncomfortable". Perhaps you can offer to reenact a scene with him instead where he will be the stranger. See how he reacts and then you can decide what your next step should be.


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## randomtxguy (Sep 24, 2011)

First off, my vote is don't do it.

That said, I've thought about the idea with my wife. Not just watching, but me and another guy satisfying her. I will never ask her to do this and would never be able to live with myself if we took part in something like this, but it's still come into my head. 

The comedic text exchange above would be hilarious, if I were you, I'd do it. Odds are, he'll loose the nerve.

Good luck!


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

Tell him absolutely not. Sometimes a fantasy should be just that.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I've tried unsuccessfully to get my wife involved in MMF or MFF threesomes - and I still believe she's bi-in-denial. But she has indulged my fantasies indirectly, in the past we were a bit exhibitionist, and it was hot seeing her pose on camera during our nude photo shoots (it's kinda embarrassing because I had to run to help myself fast since I was so darn turned on by her - and hell I wanted to do her right there and then in front of the cameraman!)

But since settling down she has instead just told me stories of her adventurous past with other guys during her youth before I met her. Which also turns me on like crazy. She dislikes this however, as she does wish to forget what she did, but for me she compromises.


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## nice_cheryl (Oct 15, 2011)

This is a common obsession with men.
However, once it happens, it can freak them out.
Do not give in to his obsessions. Try to better communicate with him.


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## Danielson (Nov 28, 2010)

Heed the overall advise from this forum... Don't do it, it will ruin your relationship. Figure out why he's so obsessed over the idea, because his obsession, if not dealt with, could also ruin your relationship. Any dude that wants to share his wife has serious issues... just sayin...


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## Mike188 (Dec 29, 2009)

gg,

Ask him if he wants to swap wives. I would love to have a wife like you who takes pride in herself and is faithful. He would like my stbxw a lot. He wouldn't even have to coerce her.

If not I have a type of Pavlovian therapy that might work. Every time he asks you to sleep with another man just kick him right in the balls. Eventually he will start to associate asking you to sleep with a stranger with getting kicked in the balls. Ultimately he will get to the point that when he even thinks about you with another man he will drop down and grab his groin and quit thinking about it. If he learns that trick you can teach him to salivate when you ring a bell.


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## HelloooNurse (Apr 12, 2010)

Tell him his idea is disgusting and to keep his opinion to himself. I had an ex that told me something along those lines - I was horrified. It really made me lose respect for him big time. I couldn't look at him without remembering his gruesome proposition. I never could look at him the same after he brought up his idea. Gross. 

I didn't really say much to him except "no way in the fiery pits of hell will this happen". I can understand that everyone has different "tastes" etc. I can put up with some gross things coming up now and then But he kept bringing it up every time we were in the sack. Total mood killer every time. One day in bed he brought it up one time too many (if you know what I mean) and I flat out told him "That is a disgusting, vile thing to talk about. Keep it to yourself, go jerk off over it until your heart's content. But I NEVER want to hear about it again in my house". And he never brought it up again. Thank the lord! We were together for a few years after that (during which time he never uttered a word about it, thank god) until I had to get rid of him for other reasons. But yeah I never could look at him the same after he told me about that BS fantasy of his. It's like the moment he opened his mouth and those words came out, was the moment that all my respect for him instantly evaporated.

So yeah. Just something to think about next time you want to tell your partner a gruesome thing. The only advice I would give here is choose your words extremely carefully. Select words that sort of soften the impact...so instead of wanting to projectile vomit in your face, she might only experience a moderate nausea.


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## KDFREE (Apr 7, 2011)

Ok, well here goes... From the responses so far I will probably get quite the unpopular reaction. About 6 years ago my husband shared a similar fantasy with me. After processing it and prodding him to make sure he was serious and that he would not be jealous I decided to act on it. I had been a virgin on our wedding night and had been faithful to him for 14 years. I was curious. We tried it and we have again on a number of occasions. I understand why people caution against it. It is not for everyone, or even most. But for us it brought us closer together. He gave me freedom to enjoy out of love and I was humbled by it. I have learned much about myself and him through the process. It has been fun but most importantlly we have experienced much more intimacy by being able totally open an honest with each other. I told him he could do the same with another woman but he has chosen not to as he had a few experiences before we were married. And no he is not bi-sexual he has no interest in guys. For us it was simply about him giving me something and allowing me to enjoy and be free. Like I said, I'm sure many will disagree but I thought you might want to hear from someone who has had a positive experience.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## couple (Nov 6, 2010)

I agree that this is a very common fantasy and doesn't mean there is anything wrong with him IF he respects your limits (which he is pushing in his insistence).

Don't do what you are uncomfortable with doing. However, if you are open to it you can introduce these themes into your sex. For example, during sex you can suck on a toy or while giving him oral you can toy yourself and act like it's another guy. You can also tell him about times you had sex with other guys while having sex with him or about some fantasies that you have with others. I don't know the nature of your relationship today but you can also try some playful flirting with other guys in front of your husband. As long as you both enjoy then I don't see the harm.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I'm a guy. I can't imagine anything that would hurt me more than to see my wife with another guy.


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## Mike188 (Dec 29, 2009)

It's called "cuckolding". The wife sleeps with other men right in front of the husband. Sometimes they even engage in degrading and humiliating the husband.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

unbelievable said:


> I'm a guy. I can't imagine anything that would hurt me more than to see my wife with another guy.


100% agree
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## rebelm (Oct 8, 2010)

Don't do it. Only people who both have interest in that can pull that off provided they have a rock solid relationship. I have been married 16 years. A lot of things during the marriage were great for a number of years. Sex frequency was not one of them. My drive was so high and I was so frustrated I talked about fantasies a lot. Never realizing she felt I was pushing her to really do it. I didn't know how she felt till after she organized a particular one. Then she held it against me for the rest of our marriage. It became her excuse for all of her behavior and things in the marriage I disliked. That happened about 8 years ago.

It didn't kill our marriage but played a part in it. I carried her divorce papers last friday. I finally found her secret email she communicated with her boyfriend on. She has had an affair for the last year or more. I would try to work it out but she will not stop seeing him. She is the love of my life and I will always love her. But I will never ever share my fantasies with another person as long as I live. For me talking about the fantasy with her was good enough. She thought different. Maybe you should have him read my post. Even though she acted like she wanted to do it the whole time it turns out she just wanted to make me happy. It didn't take doing it to make me happy. But sharing my darkest secrets with the love of my life does. Hope this helps.


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## dbc (Jul 10, 2011)

unbelievable said:


> I'm a guy. I can't imagine anything that would hurt me more than to see my wife with another guy.


:iagree: i will have to agree 100 % , it would kill me for my wife to be with another man. i would be ready for the nut house or worse. it kills me she had other guys before we married , to be with another guy now would push me over the edge.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Smells like a zombie and about as appealing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DayOne (Sep 19, 2014)

ConanHub said:


> Smells like a zombie and about as appealing.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:iagree:


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