# Please help! I don't know what to do..



## truth hurts truth frees (Nov 14, 2013)

Today I took a cousin of mine for shopping. She is a cute 19 yr old kid. 1 thing I found weird about her behaviour was she kept pulling or adjusting her sleeves whenever I looked at her. I thought she got a tattoo like me and trying to hide it. So I grabbed her wrist and pulled up her sleeve. There were a lot of cuts on her arm, a lot of them healed but quite a few fresh. I asked wtf was wrong with her, did a guy betray her, is she pregnant? Answer was a shocker- her mom has been having an affair for last 6 years, her dad is not being able to stop it, and whenever she protests, she gets beaten up by either her mom, her dad or the OM. She doesn't want to go back to her house. So she would be staying with me as long as she wants. Revealing the affair is not an option as if the story gets out in the locality she would be singled out for bullying in her college. I am at a loss on how to handle the situation. Any advice?


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Truthfully, I would go to the police. It sounds like all three of them have committed felonies. Sorry you are in this predicament.

Are you comfortable with her staying with you?

Another thought is child protective services. I guess she is to old for that.

God bless you, I hope you figure out the right thing to do.


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## Janky (Nov 26, 2013)

So when she protests, they cut her arm each time?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Police. 911 or 999. Now.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Graywolf2 (Nov 10, 2013)

Is she cutting herself because of the stress? Doses she have any injuries from beaten up by others? Bruises etc.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

I just noticed you are posting from India, is adultery accepted there? I thought this was very rare there.


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

Graywolf2 has his finger on the pulse (me thinks) I would look at your cousin's arms. There are people who cut themself as a way aof dealing with emotional pain. Do you believe her story? If all these people are beating her there should not be cuts on her arms perse, but bruising, etc. Ask her, "are you cutting yourself?" Don't be afraid to ask her. Also ask her, "Are you thinking of killing yourself?"


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## truth hurts truth frees (Nov 14, 2013)

This is the update- I informed other family members. Also, we have filed a case with the police against the OM and her mom for physical and emotional torture and both have been taken into custody. We had a meeting with the OM's wife and we decided not to post bail for either one. Let them cool off their romance in a nice cozy cell. We have forced the cousin's dad to file for divorce- a really spineless human. The OM's wife is seething and has already filed on grounds of adultery. My cousin would be staying with my parents now. 
My cousin has been slashing her arms for past 6 months as a way of coping. She has bruises from beatings which the medical examiner has checked out. She would start seeing psychiatrist from monday. 

Chaparral, we Indians are good at pretending things like adultery doesn't happen in India. Hence your perception that it is a rare theme here.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Thanks for the update.
You did quite well for a sh!tty situation like this.


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## truth hurts truth frees (Nov 14, 2013)

Actually, all I did was inform other family members. It was the elders who came forth with the advice.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

truth hurts said:


> Actually, all I did was inform other family members.


It took courage for you to do that. Well done.


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## truth hurts truth frees (Nov 14, 2013)

Thanks Hope1964. Now that i think about it, the 1st call I made was- "Mommy, this has happened. I don't know what to do". Moral of the story- When in doubt, call your mom.


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## TheFlood117 (Mar 24, 2013)

Call the police. I am shocked. I have no words, really I guess call the police and maybe take her from that environment. Jesus, some people do awful sh!t to their kids.


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

truth you did more than enough, you voiced it out loud, I feel such anger when I hear about this kind of cases where everybody knew for years but nobody said anything until finally a real tragedy happens.

good for you, I hope you remain with this aptitude


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## truth hurts truth frees (Nov 14, 2013)

I realized something important in this ordeal. If you try to answer the "why" in these cases, you would eventually go nutty. Better answer the "now what to do".


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## missthelove2013 (Sep 23, 2013)

How horrible for her!! I would not wish that on my worst enemy...hopefully Now she can heal and move forward...

well done op, imo you handled that brilliantly and you might have saved her life!!


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## DavidWYoung (Feb 3, 2012)

Good work.


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## truth hurts truth frees (Nov 14, 2013)

I just learned something today which I don't know who is going to tell my cousin coz I don't think I'll be able to. Her dad is not her biological dad. He was infertile and got her mom pregnant through his younger brother. Now I understand why his brother settled down in Singapore and have never returned home even once.
Her dad didn't protest about the affair as he was afraid her mom would tell others.
It feels like... I don't know what I feel. Its good to have TAM to vent, to speak to someone. All family members who were calling each other frantically for past few days over this upheaval have gone dark. I guess everyone is in grieving mode. I am desperately trying not to ask myself the dreaded question-"why?" I don't have a child, well my parents say I am still a child. But I did change her diapers, feed her, sing her lullabies- spent quite a lot of time with her as her parents were always fighting, everyone lent a hand in taking care of her. She feels like some part of me. I am afraid to call her now that what she might ask and what I would be able to answer. 
I lurked through TheFlood, Thorburn, DevastatedDad and countless others posts trying to understand what was so painful about the situation. Yes, even I had been betrayed, that's what brought me to TAM. But I never a child to think about. I sincerely feel for you guys. Innocent questions like "where is mommy/daddy", "why doesn't mommy/daddy stay with us" can bring you to a standstill as you don't know what is the appropriate answer. There isn't one, is there?
Sorry for rambling, a little alcohol does that to me.


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## truth hurts truth frees (Nov 14, 2013)

I just realized I have always appreciated my parents for being my parents but never appreciated them for being loving, faithful husband-wife for the last 35 years.


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## illwill (Feb 21, 2013)

Op you are no child.


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