# Time heals all wounds ... my story



## itsOK (Jan 14, 2012)

A little while back, I was a lurker here. I do feel a lot better now and feel I own it to all of you to post my story. We were married for 6+ years, together for 9+ years and have 2 wonderful kids together. Both educated and made a good living, had our own condo, yet life was not happy and satisfying, we had a lot of fights and said a lot of things that weren't nice.
So, it has been a year since he filed for divorce. I have to say I've gone through so many stages of emotions: initial sense of freedom, anger, resentment, loss, grief, screw you, I am alright, moving to a new city, then second stage of grief and sadness, desperation, loneliness, helpless. It took a while to realize that it takes 2 to tango. In the same way, it took 2 to fail a marriage. At first I was just blaming all my reactions to his behavior. I read a lot of self-help books and came to a realization that I too contribute equally to all our fights. It's all a matter of perspective and our interpretation of everything. There are 2 ways to look at everything. You can choose to look at the glass being half full or half empty. I found that just get out and breath in some air, just keep walking, one foot in front of the other. Sometimes when we feel so bad, we need to take one day at the time, or even one hour at the time. Sometimes I was so lonely, I watched one movie after another to pass time. I thought it was time for bed, and it's only 7 or 8 pm. Time went by slowly. The worse thing I probably did to myself was hoping to patch things up, to have a single home for the kids while my ex did not feel the same way. I wrote probably a dozen heart-felt messages to my ex, no replies. He said you need to take care of yourself first. I hated that I couldn't get through to him. Everyday I am praying for strength, courage and ability to just live life as it is, to accept things as they are instead of resisting them. I guess it takes time, but I am now able to accept that life goes on, people move on. The best thing we can do for ourselves is to accept that. Because resisting it is exhausting and being consumed by something that is not within our control is detrimental to our health. It's like a prison you made for yourself. Once you are able to accept things as they are, you free yourself. I am not thrilled about what happened, but I am accepting it. And that's it. Just by accepting it and not resisting it, I feel a lot better. I guess it doesn't come to us right away, but time does heals all wounds. Focus all what we have instead of what we don't have and can't have. I just want to share that. There is hope at the end of that dark tunnel. I found this free radio podcast really helpful. Help it helps someone else.
Divorce Recovery - Divorce Source Radio | Free Audio Programs Related to Divorce :: Divorce Source Radio | Free Audio Programs Related to Divorce
Ather book that might be useful:
What Happy Women Know
Take care ladies.


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