# Why won't my husband have sex with me?



## BKLounge (Apr 29, 2010)

We had a baby 6 months ago, and have only had sex4 or 5 times since Sept of 09. I let him know that I am interested and he seems to ignore it. I've done everything... worn lingerie, gotten a Brazilian, left loving notes and nothing. 

But I know he still looks at porn. 

He swears up and down that it's not the "baby weight" and doesn't understand why sex is so important to me.

He is 27 years old and SHOULD be in his sexual prime... right?? So what am I doing wrong???

HELP.


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## Millania007 (Nov 16, 2009)

he should get his testosterone levels tested STAT!
He is 27, he should easily become sexually aroused without problems if your walking around looking all sexy!
Unfortunatley porn can get in the way if they are masturbating to it a lot..perhaps he is masturbating too much ? Have you tried talking to him about the porn/masturbation? 
if he says he is not masturbating that much I would seek a doctors assistance. They can test their Testosterone levels(thanks SimplyA for this) I never knew they had these types of test but they can certainly provide hormone therapy for him if necessary which will in turn, increase his libido
Do not blame yourself it is not you! it could be his testrn levels , or it could be that he feels inadequate to please you, and turns to porn for an easy way out, this is unfair to you! I hope that something can be resolved, you do not deserve to have "no intimacy" with your husband. Intimacy is highly important, and it should be for him too


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## Mommybean (Jan 22, 2009)

Sometimes men just have a hard time when the women they lusted after before becomes a "mom". Maybe he is having a hard time seperating the two roles you now play in the household.


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## DNewsom77 (Apr 26, 2010)

In my opinion, the porn thing is a bigger problem than he realizes. Not only because he is focusing his attention on women other than you, but also because he is training himself to think about sex in the wrong way. He should desire sex with you as a physical expression of the love and connection he has with you, not purely for physical pleasure. That said, his problem is common, so don't treat him like there is something wrong with him. Try talking to him about it without judging him. Tell him that you think he is missing out on the real thing by engaging himself in his fantasy world. Approach the conversation from the angle of trying to help him live the best life that he can live. Make him feel comfortable to tell you what is really going on. He is probably avoiding talking about it because he fears you will punish him for the way he feels. When you both feel completely safe with each other, you will have the best sex of your life!


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