# Need guidance



## Cadreyn (Jul 8, 2013)

Ok so first off it is day three since my wife said she wanted a divorce. We have settled for separation with me sleeping on the couch due to kids, finances and I having had nowhere to go but back to my mom's wich is 6-8 hours away which effectively meant I would loose my kids.

Now as to how we got here. Years of fighting, emotional abuse, and immaturity has reached a boiling point. We are polyamorus and she does have a boyfriend while I am alone. 

While I start marriage counseling on Saturday she has no inclination of joining right now. Which my counselor said was preferred at the moment. 

She says that she loves me but is not in love with me. I am still her best friend and she does care. But she needs to be herself for sometime. Which is hard for me but I am determined not to loose my family. 

Is there hope if I am the only trying?


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

For starters, why would you move out of the house? She wants the divorce, she can leave - not force you to move 6-8 hours away.


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## Cadreyn (Jul 8, 2013)

We live with her parents in a duplex. While they have been nothing but supportive to me and assure me that I would not be put out on the street.

Last night we did sleep in the same bed. It was a little bit ackwerd but overall not a bad experince.


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## Cadreyn (Jul 8, 2013)

She did say that IF we re on next then we will be starting with a new relationship not the old one that lead us to this point.


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## Tron (Jan 31, 2013)

Does that mean with her boyfriend in tow?


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## Cadreyn (Jul 8, 2013)

Yes but poly is not the problem since I have the ability to have my own girlfriend


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

Ha. People really live like this? With parents? Had boyfriend/girlfriends on the side? Great role models for your children!

Divorce her and change your life, for the better.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

You aren't divorced yet, so there is still some hope.

I can't imagine being poly would be a good thing in this situation. 

What kind of emotional abuse?


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Cadreyn said:


> Yes but poly is not the problem since I have the ability to have my own girlfriend


This is really way outside my ability to help but I will try. Would the GF be for sex only or would she also meet your emotional needs?

Same with W's BF.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Cadreyn said:


> Ok so first off it is day three since my wife said she wanted a divorce. We have settled for separation with me sleeping on the couch due to kids, finances and I having had nowhere to go but back to my mom's wich is 6-8 hours away which effectively meant I would loose my kids.
> 
> Now as to how we got here. Years of fighting, emotional abuse, and immaturity has reached a boiling point. We are polyamorus and she does have a boyfriend while I am alone.
> 
> ...


You are NOT her best friend. You are her meal ticket. 

You shared your wife and now she has "other men" to intimately compare you with. You come up short.

She is in no hurry to make up her mind with respect to the future. She has the cake, the icing and you are her credit card. 

I believe you are screwed minus the flesh.


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