# Can you love again?



## LJAO (Feb 9, 2012)

My husband has put us through a lot in the last few years. He has hurt me more than words can describe, I have grown not to love him anymore. I am heart broken as I feel like I am letting my kids down by not loving their Father anymore. Is it possible to fall back in love with him after being so hurt so much??
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

What things has he done/said to hurt you so badly? I'm so sorry you are going through this. 

What made you fall in love with him in the first place? Did he change after you got married? How long have you been married?

He would have to do alot of changing to fall in love with him again. If he's still being abusive, I don't see how you can fall in love under those circumstances.


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

LJAO said:


> My husband has put us through a lot in the last few years. He has hurt me more than words can describe, I have grown not to love him anymore. I am heart broken as I feel like I am letting my kids down by not loving their Father anymore. Is it possible to fall back in love with him after being so hurt so much??
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Only IF he acknowledges your hurt, coming towards you in making this up to you, showing he cares about you, the marriage and working hard to restore what has been lost....it takes 2 for healing, or you will just continue to STUFF, those emotions need healing....your heart needs that.... you are flooded with resentment over his treatment and this does not just go away... it has to be delt with....for any relationship to be restored. 

I did a thread on *resentment* ... also forgiveness has to go forth at some point.... http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-ma...l-etc-how-robs-us-intimacy-we-crave-most.html


----------



## growtogether (Feb 27, 2012)

Can you love him again.... What happen when you ask yourself this question? What kind of emotions, feelings and words come through your mind? What would you like to from your relationship? What are you looking forward to achieve to get what you want?
I think you need to take the time to sit down with yourself and take time to figure out exactly what you would like to happen. I think you do know all the answers; all the advices come from you. You head may say something, and your heart may say something else. If you listen to both, what is the common message?
Love is an important subject, and we can see that it's an important value of yours if you write in this forum. When you figure out your agenda for your relationship, what would be your first step towards what you want? Baby steps are always easier, but a step a day will bring you faster to what will make you happy.
I have confidence in you, just trust the process.


----------



## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

I agree with SA he'd have to make a serious serious effort to win you back and heal what's been broken. Without that the answer is no.


----------



## abandonedcompletely (Dec 21, 2011)

Mavash. said:


> I agree with SA he'd have to make a serious serious effort to win you back and heal what's been broken. Without that the answer is no.


:iagree: And sometimes, if the hurts and the damage are too much, it's not always fixable.

Like others have said, you'll have to figure out what you need from your husband to heal and move forward, and hopefully have a willing husband who will do whatever it takes


----------



## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

LJAO said:


> My husband has put us through a lot in the last few years. He has hurt me more than words can describe, I have grown not to love him anymore. I am heart broken as I feel like I am letting my kids down by not loving their Father anymore. Is it possible to fall back in love with him after being so hurt so much??
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Absolutely. Where your mind goes, your heart will soon follow. Thinking about all your hurt and your husband's bad deeds has put you straight out of love. Forgiveness and seeking to put things right will send you back (to loving)


----------



## LJAO (Feb 9, 2012)

Thank you for all the replies and advice. He says he is willing to do anything, but his actions don't say that. I feel like I a waiting for a bus that will never come.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## growtogether (Feb 27, 2012)

It sounds like there is procrastination in him. Or a lake of commitment and motivation from him. •	What can you do to make your task more creative? What would inspire to get up in the morning? What is his life purpose? Maybe he does know it yet, never really ask himself that question. It's very hard to get up in the morning when there is noting out there calling my name. No ambition, no interest in life. If you ask him What would you like to be in life, what would he say? If you had 60 days to lives, what would you do? I think there is a need to move his fire coals inside of him.


----------



## the gifted (Aug 31, 2011)

If you were divorced with children, you could not ask anything and you were happy then ask yourself what could you want?


----------



## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

LJAO said:


> Thank you for all the replies and advice. He says he is willing to do anything, but his actions don't say that. I feel like I a waiting for a bus that will never come.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yes you can love, you just have to learn to let go of your resentment a little at a time and be willing to fall back in love with the man as he is today.

It's not enough for him to say the words, he has to demonstrate his love daily (well maybe a skipped day once in a blue moon, but you know what I mean).

I'm not talking flowers and expensive dinners every night, though that's always nice. I mean all the little things to demonstrate his love and appreciation of you. He needs to listen to you better as well, because frankly if he did listen better and he empathized with you deeply you wouldn't be in this position.

Still this won't change quickly or without some setbacks, be patient as long as he's clearly trying to make the right steps.


----------

