# I feel so stupid!!



## finallyseewhy (May 1, 2010)

This is mainly a vent but I was sitting her thinking about all the times the last few months that H was late from work or went out to eat before he got home and it sort of clicked.....he was with his 'friend'/OW 

Go ****ing figure.....


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## lostinlove1 (May 10, 2010)

Finallyseewhy, I am putting myself out there making this comment but here goes. Through all that I have been through the last couple of months, my anger, heartbreak, confusion, insult, bitterness, sadness, hurt and anguish. I realized yesterday my H made a decission that seemed right at the time, he made it on what had been going on, and tell the truth the mood I showed no matter how questionably real it was, made that decision easier for him as I came across as being very unhappy. I confused his decision when I let my guard down and showed how hurt and how much I loved him - maybe as he said made him feel selfish and guilty. I have realized for the first time really it takes two. I mean I have said that frequently but to actually admit to myself that I was contributing to his decission by trying to make him feel guilty for hurting me would not have came across as anything shy of pure evil. I do love my H with all my heart, I realize my own thoughts about him and what he was doing were what shut it down. I guess what I am trying to say it jumping to conclusions can only destroy not only the relationship but the trust we have for each other. I have no proof my H had another lady friend, but it did not stop me accusing him off it. We all seek happiness, love, honesty, and forgiveness. I should have been true to my own advice and that was live life like there is no tomorrow and love, forgive and trust those you love. Did it ever cross your mind he was looking for female companion, someone to vent his upset and concern to. I know I have to many male friends, co-workers and in saying that NEVER considered sleeping with them or taking the relationship to another level other then friendship. Like I have said before each relationship is different and we all have skeletons in our cupboards some of us admit to them others just keep them hidden and find it easier to blame the other party, I am not saying for a second your H is not fooling around all I am saying is unless you have proof of it you may be driving him further into anger for the accuse of it and with that further away maybe into her arms.


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## finallyseewhy (May 1, 2010)

No, I agree I didn't always make this a happy place to come home too...I admit that. He was not actually 'fooling around' with this women he was just having an emotional affair with her. He has been friends with her for a few years and it has blossomed....I think he was hoping it would turn out to be more. His actions have been exteremly out of line with this women sneaking around, texting(deleting/some sexual) not allowing me or his kids to go places and inviting her instead. 

I made it very easy I am definitely seeing that now


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## lostinlove1 (May 10, 2010)

Okay thats a fair call on your part - honestly I was not saying you were wrong - mainly stating what I have discovered about myself finallyseewhy. Don't take offence to what I said not at all. We all have different situations and I have realized only "we" know our own spouses. You keep your chin up tomorrow is another day to find strength in getting through what we are going through. Take care and stay true to yourself.


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## finallyseewhy (May 1, 2010)

Oh I didn't take offense at all I hope I didn't come off like that  

Today was a really rough day we went to look at a daycare and I have been a SAHM and my youngest is still a young toddler. I felt as if someone ripped out my heart and stomped on it....honestly it was worse then the day he left.


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## PreludeCkN (Jan 21, 2010)

finallyseewhy, I am sorry you are going thru all of this. And I hope you get real evidence so that you can finally confront him about it and perhaps move one. I also think about the possibility that what if my husband finds comfort in another woman, that will break my heart, will I take him back? I dont know if I am willing to do take him back.


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