# Momma's Boy



## tinybuddha58 (Mar 29, 2014)

My husband is such a Mommas boy and it used to drive me insane! I'm "sort of" used to it by now and I try to not let it annoy me. Just because I'm not that close to my family doesn't mean I should get annoyed by him being so close to his.. Well his mom that is...

He talks to her on the phone several times every single day. Even on our honeymoon he couldn't resist not calling her.. otherwise she would "worry". Anytime he is sick or planning on going to the doctor, she knows about it. And she always knows what we are doing. 

Do any other women have this problem? Does it bother you and how have you dealt with it?
I still roll my eyes when she calls and sometimes I make not so nice comments... but at least I don't get angry about it anymore.

We have been together for 7 years..married 4 of that


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

He seems to be somewhat "over the top".

I doubt there's going to be much if anything you can do about it.

I took a look at your other threads since you said not to.

There are problems here.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

No one will love a boy like his mamma. She will accept him no matter what. That being said at some point a man needs to be a man.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Having read a few of your other threads ,this one sheds a little more light on why he is the way he is.

I think it might very well be one of the inputs into the feedback loop that's affecting your marriage negatively, so it lacks direction.

I think he needs some serious individual counseling , but I doubt there's any cure for that.

I must ask , why did marry him , given that you dated him for three years before marriage?

One of the worst species a female could _ever_ encounter , is a mammas boy.
They tend to be indecisive , passive aggressive and delude themselves into thinking that they are more desirable to women because they are, gasp , 
* _more sensitive._*


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## Omego (Apr 17, 2013)

I had a problem with my MIL trying to get her son to be a Momma's boy, if you will. She used to call all of the time, in the evening, while we were having dinner. At night, after dinner. She would call on his cell while we were out. She would constantly send messages to him and to me on chat, and the story goes on and on. She wants to be the center of attention, always. 

I had to put my foot down hard and H backed me up. We had to set boundaries. She got the message. I so understand where you are coming from. Invasive, overbearing MILs. Yes, alas, been there done that.

Okay so now that my rant is over, may I suggest that you simply ask him to call her (if he must) on his own time and not while to two of you are together sharing private time? If he wants to call her several times a day while he's at work, whatever. He's probably being manipulated or guilted into it, you never know....

I haven't read your other threads so maybe I'm missing something.


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## Unique Username (Jul 6, 2013)

Just remember
that she won't live forever.
No reason for you to be jealous - you are his wife not his Mother.

And - it does kinda seem that you are a bit annoyed BECAUSE you aren't close to your own family. Since you aren't close to your own family - could you try to make HER YOUR family.
Maybe that will make you cherish her more and fill that void created by your family's short-comings.

Count all the other blessings you have in him...I bet they out-weigh this minor annoyance.

Both of my parents are now deceased - I sure do miss them.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Caribbean Man said:


> One of the worst species a female could _ever_ encounter , is a mammas boy.
> They tend to be indecisive , passive aggressive and delude themselves into thinking that they are more desirable to women because they are, gasp ,
> * _more sensitive._*


Worst species/Mamas boy? I'm sorry, I can't agree with that. Worst is a guy that will lie to you, steal from you, abuse you, cheat on you.....amongst 100 other things, LONG before "mama boy".

What's wrong with being sensitive? If anything, that's a bonus IMO. I think more man should be more open/sensitive/affectionate.

In general, how a man treats his mother is a good indicator how they will treat their wife.

I think OP's husband is a bit on an extreme end of "mama boy"(especially few calls a day)......but in general, not that big of a deal.

Being close to family is a good thing IMO


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Being close to family can be a very good thing. But, like anything else, it stops being a good thing when taken to extremes. A guy who loves and honors his mother is a great thing. A guy who has never, and refuses to now, cut the apron strings with his mamma is usually not a great thing. It's a recipe for relationship dysfunction.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Rowan said:


> Being close to family can be a very good thing. But, like anything else, it stops being a good thing when taken to extremes. A guy who loves and honors his mother is a great thing. A guy who has never, and refuses to now, cut the apron strings with his mamma is usually not a great thing. It's a recipe for relationship dysfunction.


I agree, but compare to so many major issues we see on this forum........even without a cut strings, it seems like a petty issue.

:scratchhead:


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## tinybuddha58 (Mar 29, 2014)

Caribbean Man said:


> They tend to be indecisive , passive aggressive and delude themselves into thinking that they are more desirable to women because they are, gasp ,
> * _more sensitive._*


You hit the nail on the had with "indecisive". And can you say spoiled? I told my MIL that I blame her that he doesn't know how to do ANYTHING and takes no initiative to figure things out. She takes the blame. I've been training him though and he has improved a lot! But still have a ways to go! 

As far as worst species. I have to agree with DoF that their is much worse out there.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

DoF said:


> I agree, but compare to so many major issues we see on this forum........even without a cut strings, it seems like a petty issue.
> 
> :scratchhead:


Well, how petty it is probably depends on how severe it is and disruptive it is to the relationship. Whether it's alcohol, gambling, hobbies, an affair partner, work, or his mother, if your spouse's top priorities are something other than you and the marriage, it's destructive to the relationship.

Sure there are worse problems to have, but this problem can still be very harmful to a marriage.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Rowan said:


> Well, how petty it is probably depends on how severe it is and disruptive it is to the relationship. Whether it's alcohol, gambling, hobbies, an affair partner, work, or his mother, if your spouse's top priorities are something other than you and the marriage, it's destructive to the relationship.
> 
> Sure there are worse problems to have, but this problem can still be very harmful to a marriage.


It could be, but I never heard of it breaking a marriage or cause severe issues. In most cases, women won't marry a man tha'ts "extreme mama's boy".

In OP's case, she has MUCH deeper issues right now. 

Her husband being mama's boy probably shouldn't be on her radar (but I could be wrong).


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## tinybuddha58 (Mar 29, 2014)

DoF said:


> In OP's case, she has MUCH deeper issues right now.
> 
> Her husband being mama's boy probably shouldn't be on her radar (but I could be wrong).


Its not! Just thought it's an interesting topic.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

This thread along with your other threads indicates to me you are very unhappy in this marriage. 

I don't advocate divorce, but unless your hubby starts showing some forwards movement, how can you justify staying with him?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

> *Caribbean man said: **One of the worst species a female could ever encounter , is a mammas boy.
> They tend to be indecisive , passive aggressive and delude themselves into thinking that they are more desirable to women because they are, gasp , * more sensitive.**


My Grandmother used to tell me to watch out how a Man treats his Mother, this will be a good sign.. ya know I did listen to Her.. I wanted a "sensitive family type" man.. though my H has always treated his Mother beautifully - he would never be considered a " Momma's Boy".. .. he could go weeks without talking to her, I have even picked up the phone & told him .."you need to call your Mom"... it's always been about me & the kids 1st ...even when I lived with his family before we married.. she was never the type to interfere...or interject herself.. 

I am wondering if he is an only child or only son?.... this dysfunction -her boundaries with him -set him on a bad course for life, women, marriage ....No mother should be this attached....I have 5 sons.. I know when they get a GF... and marry.. basically my influence is finished.. it is about THEM now... their dreams, their decisions to be made together, they can call for support, weighing some pros & cons, but it's not necessary...they need to work it out ... we have so many years to raise & mentor them to be responsible men... 

Many articles you can google for some helpful ideas, boundaries..

Mama’s Boys: What To Do If You’re Married to a Mama’s Boy


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

tinybuddha58 said:


> Its not! Just thought it's an interesting topic.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Glad to hear that it isn't!

Which reaffirms my earlier statement that being "mama's boy" is not that big of deal.

Even taken to complete extreme (which seems to be the case in this thread) is no big deal either (but probably should be dealt with at some point).

Small potatoes IMO.

IMO, Mama's boy is still 10x better than a man that doesn't respect his parents, doesn't talk to them/ignore them or simply treats them like crap! 

That goes for women as well. If one can mistreat their closest family, chances are, they will mistreat you as well (somewhere along the line). 

Direct Family relationship = good indicator of things to come/how great the person is hehe


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

Rowan said:


> Being close to family can be a very good thing. But, like anything else, it stops being a good thing when taken to extremes. A guy who loves and honors his mother is a great thing. A guy who has never, and refuses to now, cut the apron strings with his mamma is usually not a great thing. It's a recipe for relationship dysfunction.


:iagree:

I don't think I would call my husband a "momma's boy", but my MIL babies him and his brother(mostly) big time. Before we got married, I told him very straight forward that I am not his mom and will not act like her. He is expected to act like an adult and do what he needs to(helping to do laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc.). Luckily, he stepped right up and although he wasn't all that happy about it to begin with(realizing just how much work it all is), he is better now. 

I can't say the same for my BIL though, who is the worst momma's boy around. He wants to be waited on hand and foot, to have someone cook for him, clean for him, and so on. When my MIL visits him, she gives him a foot massage! And cleans his place. Ughh!! I really hate how she raised her boys like that. She did great with teaching them to be respectful and many other things, but lacked in teaching them how to be completely self-sufficient. I was the one who pushed my husband to do many things on his own. 

I know for my own son, he is going to be taught how to become a self-sufficient respectful adult. Sure, I'd like for us to stay close, but I wouldn't expect to have the same relationship with him after he is married as I would when he lived at home. I have a close relationship with my family, as does my husband, but neither of us call our parents multiple times a day. Usually a couple times a week is good.


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## tinybuddha58 (Mar 29, 2014)

Anonymous07 said:


> :iagree:
> 
> 
> When my MIL visits him, she gives him a foot massage! And cleans his place.



WOW. I guess it could always be worse!! I couldnt imagine what I would do if my MIL started cleaning my house!


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## tinybuddha58 (Mar 29, 2014)

SimplyAmorous said:


> My Grandmother used to tell me to watch out how a Man treats his Mother, this will be a good sign.. ya know I did listen to Her.. I wanted a "sensitive family type" man.. though my H has always treated his Mother beautifully - he would never be considered a " Momma's Boy".. .. he could go weeks without talking to her, I have even picked up the phone & told him .."you need to call your Mom"... it's always been about me & the kids 1st ...even when I lived with his family before we married.. she was never the type to interfere...or interject herself..
> 
> I am wondering if he is an only child or only son?.... this dysfunction -her boundaries with him -set him on a bad course for life, women, marriage ....No mother should be this attached....I have 5 sons.. I know when they get a GF... and marry.. basically my influence is finished.. it is about THEM now... their dreams, their decisions to be made together, they can call for support, weighing some pros & cons, but it's not necessary...they need to work it out ... we have so many years to raise & mentor them to be responsible men...
> 
> ...


thanks for the articles! And yes, there is a big difference between treating your mother well to being a mommas boy. 

He is the only son but has a sister and the sister acts the same way. Sometimes my MIL will text me by mistake instead of my SIL and the way they talk to each other makes me sick. like the way you would talk to a baby.

My MIL is single and very needy of her kids attention. I do feel bad for her though that she may be lonely so I let it slide.


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## Unique Username (Jul 6, 2013)

Hmmmmm

try fixing her up then - with a very nice man who could use some spoiling...like a widower


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

tinybuddha58 said:


> thanks for the articles! And yes, there is a big difference between treating your mother well to being a mommas boy.
> 
> He is the only son but has a sister and the sister acts the same way. Sometimes my MIL will text me by mistake instead of my SIL and the way they talk to each other makes me sick. like the way you would talk to a baby.
> 
> *My MIL is single and very needy of her kids attention. I do feel bad for her though that she may be lonely so I let it slide.*


This is pretty much what I figured, she has made her children HER LIFE...and it has encroached on their relationships, even stunted their growth some ...

Doesn't she have any friends, church, activities she is involved in? 


> *Unique Username said: **try fixing her up then - with a very nice man who could use some spoiling...like a widower*


 I've always loved playing Match maker.. I could see me trying to do this...if I was in the OP's shoes !!


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## tinybuddha58 (Mar 29, 2014)

SimplyAmorous said:


> This is pretty much what I figured, she has made her children HER LIFE...and it has encroached on their relationships, even stunted their growth some ...
> 
> Doesn't she have any friends, church, activities she is involved in?
> I've always loved playing Match maker.. I could see me trying to do this...if I was in the OP's shoes !!


I always talked about setting her up with someone! But I dont think she wants to be with someone. Her dogs are her kids and I don't think she wants someone telling her how she should act differently with them. No man could deal with how she is with these dogs!! 

She goes to church but the only thing she does outside of that is hang out with her own mother. She acts the same way to her mother as her kids act with her! Its a viscous cycle!!


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## hazelli (Apr 6, 2014)

Hi, I hv bn married to a mama's boy for 12 years. Although he doesn't call his mum that often, his mum had been making sure that I cook the dishes right for her son. I admit I can't cook to save my life. Anyway I stopped trying to please his taste buds. What I hate is when she interfers with how we get things done like she expects me to pack her son's stuff so that he doesn't return to a messy home after a bad day at work. Keeping the home neat is fine but not when the mess is created by a bad tempered person who can keep his things in order and raises a ruckus when he can't find them. No one would lift a finger to help someone like this as they would be blamed. She has never packef for her son yet she expects her daughter-in-law to clean up after him, when evem her daughter make it their husbands' duties to clean up after themselves. And it is not true that a mama's boy would treat his wife well. My husband decided that he would stop providing for the family (me) after his mum commented how "generous her son was when he passed me his wallet so that I could get food for all of us on a day out. That incident must have beem followed by a conversation between two of them and my husband decides that since I am contributing to our home by doing the housework and not monetarily, he would follow suit and keep his money to himself. That's mama's boy for me. Selfish, stubborn, disorganised, hot tempered snd blame shifter. Someone else is always wrong and he can never do wrong. Hope your husband loves you better.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## the2ofus (Jan 28, 2014)

DoF said:


> It could be, but I never heard of it breaking a marriage or cause severe issues. In most cases, women won't marry a man tha'ts "extreme mama's boy".
> 
> In OP's case, she has MUCH deeper issues right now.
> 
> Her husband being mama's boy probably shouldn't be on her radar (but I could be wrong).


I think its all part of the same bigger picture!


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## tinybuddha58 (Mar 29, 2014)

hazelli said:


> Hi, I hv bn married to a mama's boy for 12 years. Although he doesn't call his mum that often, his mum had been making sure that I cook the dishes right for her son. I admit I can't cook to save my life. Anyway I stopped trying to please his taste buds. What I hate is when she interfers with how we get things done like she expects me to pack her son's stuff so that he doesn't return to a messy home after a bad day at work. Keeping the home neat is fine but not when the mess is created by a bad tempered person who can keep his things in order and raises a ruckus when he can't find them. No one would lift a finger to help someone like this as they would be blamed. She has never packef for her son yet she expects her daughter-in-law to clean up after him, when evem her daughter make it their husbands' duties to clean up after themselves. And it is not true that a mama's boy would treat his wife well. My husband decided that he would stop providing for the family (me) after his mum commented how "generous her son was when he passed me his wallet so that I could get food for all of us on a day out. That incident must have beem followed by a conversation between two of them and my husband decides that since I am contributing to our home by doing the housework and not monetarily, he would follow suit and keep his money to himself. That's mama's boy for me. Selfish, stubborn, disorganised, hot tempered snd blame shifter. Someone else is always wrong and he can never do wrong. Hope your husband loves you better.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Wow. After reading an article and these posts I realize I have a different kind of momma's boy. My MIL just wants attention. She doesn't try to control. Thank goodness! I don't know how y'all deal with that. Collaborating with your mom against your spouse is horrible! I'm sorry you have to deal with that!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

tinybuddha58 said:


> WOW. I guess it could always be worse!! I couldnt imagine what I would do if my MIL started cleaning my house!


Yup. My BIL is single, but I feel so bad for his future wife(if he ever gets married). The guy will never grow up with the way my MIL babies him. Even his sister enables him because they are roommates renting a place, and she cooks and cleans up after him. Ugh. Makes me sick.


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## hazelli (Apr 6, 2014)

Anonymous07 said:


> Yup. My BIL is single, but I feel so bad for his future wife(if he ever gets married). The guy will never grow up with the way my MIL babies him. Even his sister enables him because they are roommates renting a place, and she cooks and cleans up after him. Ugh. Makes me sick.


Yeah this is the kind of man to avoid, as well as those who say they can do housework but have set ways and have no respect for boundaries. My case is as such and on top of that, calculativeness. I thought he would change for the better after being out of his parents' home and all... biggest mistake is to assume or hope men will change. My biggest mistake is also being forgiving and respecting his learning curve, not thinking that some people take longer to get there or worse not at all.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

hazelli said:


> Hi, I hv bn married to a mama's boy for 12 years. Although he doesn't call his mum that often, his mum had been making sure that I cook the dishes right for her son. I admit I can't cook to save my life. Anyway I stopped trying to please his taste buds. What I hate is when she interfers with how we get things done like she expects me to pack her son's stuff so that he doesn't return to a messy home after a bad day at work. Keeping the home neat is fine but not when the mess is created by a bad tempered person who can keep his things in order and raises a ruckus when he can't find them. No one would lift a finger to help someone like this as they would be blamed. She has never packef for her son yet she expects her daughter-in-law to clean up after him, when evem her daughter make it their husbands' duties to clean up after themselves. And it is not true that a mama's boy would treat his wife well. My husband decided that he would stop providing for the family (me) after his mum commented how "generous her son was when he passed me his wallet so that I could get food for all of us on a day out. That incident must have beem followed by a conversation between two of them and my husband decides that since I am contributing to our home by doing the housework and not monetarily, he would follow suit and keep his money to himself. That's mama's boy for me. Selfish, stubborn, disorganised, hot tempered snd blame shifter. Someone else is always wrong and he can never do wrong. Hope your husband loves you better.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


This ^^^right there is the stereotype I' know to be a " mamas boy."

My wife's best friend , our neighbor is married to one.

And he's not the only one I know.

The irony is that I was the matchmaker in their wedding , because before I started dating my wife , I dated his sister and knew the family.
Pretty decent guy , very respectable ,great career makes lots of money and people love him.
Back then , I didn't know better.
He saw a friend of mine, begged me to fix them up , which I did , and they got married. 
On the outside he's a real gentleman etc.
But at home , he's a spoilt kid , who spends all his free time in his " man cave " playing interactive computer games online , on a huge flat screen TV.
His wife does everything in the home , when he's in his cave , and she's in a different part of the house , he usually texts her if he wants to get a snack , drink or whatever.
Whenever they have guests over, she's like a house servant. 
He became resentful when she furthered her degree , got a promotion that put her in a higher salary range than him, and started accusing her of having affairs . She's a corporate secretary for a global corporation, so part of her job includes travel.
He has never been physically abusive to her , but he gives her the silent treatment sometimes for days.
One time she even had a nervous breakdown .
They've been married for a long time, and she's living in a silent hell. They have a 17 yr old daughter , and she's just like her dad.
So the wife has two adult kids to take care of.

The irony in all of this is that women seem to love this guy , because he's friendly and lots of them confide in him. He listens to them ,but his poor wife comes across to our home and cries her heart out to my wife.

Worse part is , after all these years , his mother still controls him and attempts to exert control over his home.

When the last kid got married, his father divorced his mother , left the her with the house ,and got remarried.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Caribbean Man said:


> She's a corporate secretary for a global corporation,


hehe

I'm willing to bet I know her/heard of her.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

Caribbean Man said:


> They have a 17 yr old daughter , and she's just like her dad.
> So the wife has two adult kids to take care of.


I get not being able to "change" the husband, but why does she allow her daughter to act like a child? 

I would never put up with that. Don't care what the momma boy husband says, she would be helping out around the house and learning how to be an independent adult. I wouldn't be doing anything for her. If her clothes are dirty, she'll have to learn to wash them or go out looking horribly in dirty clothes. 

I never understand why people baby their adult children. They're not helping them in any way. I don't get it.


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## tinybuddha58 (Mar 29, 2014)

Anonymous07 said:


> I get not being able to "change" the husband, but why does she allow her daughter to act like a child?
> 
> I would never put up with that. Don't care what the momma boy husband says, she would be helping out around the house and learning how to be an independent adult. I wouldn't be doing anything for her. If her clothes are dirty, she'll have to learn to wash them or go out looking horribly in dirty clothes.
> 
> I never understand why people baby their adult children. They're not helping them in any way. I don't get it.


I agree! I've never understood how a child can choose to be lazy and get away with it. My MIL has actually called my husband to ask him to do something because my SIL wouldn't do it. My SIL was living with her mother and my husband was 20 minutes away. Ridiculous!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hazelli (Apr 6, 2014)

Caribbean Man said:


> This ^^^right there is the stereotype I' know to be a " mamas boy."
> 
> My wife's best friend , our neighbor is married to one.
> 
> ...


Caribbean Man you put down everything so well... I can identify with all that you have mentioned here.... It's a good thing the wife upgraded herself and did well in her career. In my case, i decided to let him do better and here I am degraded and looked down upon by him and his mum. Yes, like the dad who left his wife eventually, I had the same thought of just throwing it all in. If it had not been that my dad slipped into depression when my bro divorced his wife, I would have done so loooong time ago.... All my female friends encouraged me to walk out. Silent treatment? yeah... all so familiar! In face he just got out of his month (or was it two month long silence) and volatile mood a couple of days ago.... life is like walking on a thin line the past years.... Heck! I just can't be bothered now.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

tinybuddha58 said:


> I agree! I've never understood how a child can choose to be lazy and get away with it. My MIL has actually called my husband to ask him to do something because my SIL wouldn't do it. My SIL was living with her mother and my husband was 20 minutes away. Ridiculous!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


In the example I gave earlier, the daughter realized from an early age that if she sided with her dad , she wouldn't have to do any chores.
Because of the dynamic that developed in the marriage, they never agreed on anything , not even concerning their daughter ,so the daughter would manipulate them.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

hazelli said:


> Caribbean Man you put down everything so well... I can identify with all that you have mentioned here.... It's a good thing the wife upgraded herself and did well in her career. In my case, i decided to let him do better and here I am degraded and looked down upon by him and his mum. Yes, like the dad who left his wife eventually, I had the same thought of just throwing it all in. If it had not been that my dad slipped into depression when my bro divorced his wife, I would have done so loooong time ago.... All my female friends encouraged me to walk out. Silent treatment? yeah... all so familiar! In face he just got out of his month (or was it two month long silence) and volatile mood a couple of days ago.... life is like walking on a thin line the past years.... Heck! I just can't be bothered now.


Sorry to hear that you are living in that type of marriage. I have seen it quite a few times.
I think women tend to tolerate those type of men in marriages a little more because they aren't physically abusive .
But it's still an abusive relationship anyway , and most times , in the initial stages, the wife thinks that she is the one with the problem.
She starts off blaming herself because it's two against her. him and his mother.

However, based on what I see in this thread, there might be different types of " Mama's boy."

One , ok , and the other one definitely not ok.


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## howdidthishappentome? (Mar 25, 2014)

There are a lot of different issues going on in this thread!

1. The "momma" as the problem - a woman excessively intrusive in the marriage with needs or concerns that are inappropriately centered on her son. (Needs attention, needs to 'take care of him' or 'show her how it's done' or compete with the wife.)

2. The son as the problem - a man who is excessively entitled and expects his wife to be his personal servant, just like momma was. Momma could be disliked or even dead, it wouldn't change the expectations toward The Woman by the son.

3. The relationship as the problem - mom and son are both perfectly happy to have this intertwined codependence and wife is the third wheel who never behaves to the satisfaction of either. The only thing mom and son don't do is sleep together. ... we hope.

Clearly there could be more than one of these things going on, but in the end it comes down to which is most prevalent: a needy mom, a greedy son, or a bond so tight it doesn't include stretching his arms out to anyone else.

As a wife, needy mom can perhaps be dealt with if son is willing to set boundaries, perhaps with wife's help. tight bonds can be loosened if son is willing to acknowledge what a marriage is supposed to be - a primary bond. If the work of an adult life has just never been addressed, showing someone how much work caring for multiple lives is may help - the learning curve. My personal suspicion is that most greedy sons know or suspect how much work it is, and how boring and repetitive and undesirable it is, which is why they've set up an entitlement wall to avoid doing it.


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## Tess112 (Mar 9, 2014)

tinybuddha58 said:


> Do any other women have this problem? Does it bother you and how have you dealt with it?


Fortunately no. He does call them once a week on Sunday morning to check in, but it's only for 10-15 minutes. One time his mom tried butting into our relationship and he put his foot down right away. Haven't had any problems with the in-laws since. 

I'm of the mindset that you raise your children, they grow up, and you let them go live their own lives - independently of you.


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