# Finding mom friends VENT



## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

Trying to find mom friends is like dating and I hate it. I had a number of good mom friends before we moved and we've now lived here for almost 2 years and I only have 1 mom friend I like.  I've been stood up a few times and met some 'extreme', judgy moms who I did not get along with very well. It's hard, as someone who is more quiet and reserved, to put myself out there to meet other moms for playdates, etc. I just wish there was an easier way to find someone I click with who has a child around my son's age. We met a new mom and little boy today and she seemed nice, but I don't know how she feels about me. I feel like so many already have their cliques and don't want anyone else in their group. It's just frustrating.


----------



## citygirl4344 (Mar 4, 2016)

I found when I was on maternity leave, that there are a lot of community areas that have organized mom and tot activities. Libraries and the Y. Places like those. Makes it easy to meet people with kids the same age. 
It's hard but you eventually will find a group that is worth it. 


Sent from my iPhone


----------



## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Have you tried a Meetup group? I've made several new mom friends from my single moms Meetup group.


----------



## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

SecondTime'Round said:


> Have you tried a Meetup group? I've made several new mom friends from my single moms Meetup group.


The problem is that everything costs money. There are fees for the mom groups on Meetup, the MOMS club group, MOPS, etc. We don't have extra money in our budget for me to meet friends. I've met a few people through mommy and me class and facebook, but it's still hard. I don't know. I think I maybe come off bad since I'm more quiet and reserved(just don't talk a lot). I miss my mom friends from where we used to live.


----------



## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

All I can say is I feel you. That was me when my kids were small.


----------



## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

I think you should consider going back to work. These times are not made for single income families. I think that you will find you are doing your family much more harm then good staying home and not bring home a pay check. The longer you are out of work the more damage to the long term financial stability of your family is being done. Your prospects for getting back to work will more difficult the longer you remain without a job.


----------



## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Go to the community-sponsored events such as story time, kid sports (where the adults play as well, or assist), swim lessons (where you participate and where there is the benefit of kid learning to swim for money spent), and the park (where you will find other budget-minded mothers). Don't try to make friends right off the bat, but do suggest that you're going to the park 'for a few minutes' or just 'going to grab a coffee at that place that has a train table set up for the kids...(i.e. is child friendly). Don't make it seem like a huge commitment. 

You can also start your own meet-up group. Maybe you could make it something such as a focus on learning sign language with children, art exposure/nature walks with children, learning a foreign language with children...something that would have a draw. 

Stay in control of the group. Look for organizations that will provide free or near-free services that are of interest to the age group. For instance, visits to the Post Office, visits to the local school (for exposure), visits to a water treatment plant, visits to fire department, visit from a police officer, Fish and Game Department, etc. Or just cool stuff, like if you know someone who works with rockets, or animals (vet). Also visits to local farms, orchards, etc. aren't very pricy. Many places will give discounts if you ask. Lots of people like kids, it's usually not a problem. And there are PLENTY of people who support the idea of frugality in order to provide a full or part time at-home parent who is active in the community and wants to familiarize their children with the world. 

You should start doing these things with your child, and not wait for others to join in. Then you'll know the lay of the land when others join in and be that much more effective as a leader. 

There are also movie theaters that have special showings, particularly during the summer, for people with kids. Some showings are free.


----------

