# STBX -- How would you handle this?



## Dreald (Aug 30, 2012)

Well at least my STBX wife and I are on the same page when it comes to getting a divorce. We're 1 month away from being able to file and the issue of who is going to pay for the divorce is raised by her.

Background: She took $5,000 of my money I transferred in from pre-marital assets from our joint checking acct. Legally I SHOULD receive half back but she won't agree to it.

She stated that she would pay for 1/2 the taxes that she's liable for, but refuses to now.

She said she would pay for 1/2 the credit card bill for our last month together which she later refused to do.

All in all it's about $5,800 that I could legally get back, but would probably run between $3,000-$3,500 in attorney fees. So for the difference, I'm not interested in pursuing and just want the divorce over with.

Now she's stating that I should be the one to pay for the divorce costs itself (about $300-$400). As a principle thing, I feel that I've already let her have a lot of which I could legally get back but in the interest of my own sanity and moving forward in life, I'm choosing not to do. So this is just another control aspect that she's wanting to do by having me do all the paperwork and expense to get it finalized.

How would you phrase things to her that reiterates my position on what she's already getting out of the marriage (we were only married 14 months and she has a $16,500 wedding ring -- plus I spent about another $60k on us during our time together), but knowing how angry and controlling she gets, I'd rather just get her out of my life. I'm interested in language on what you think would be appropriate.

I've considered simply responding back with "I'n not okay with that" and leave it at that. Any suggestions?


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

My suggestion is that you change your perspective.

It has nothing to do with what's fair, and what she did that was unfair, and that she's got certain things of value that you don't and she took money that is rightfully yours..

Think of it as "damage control" and "minimization of asset loss".

You want to get out of this thing as quickly and inexpensively as possible. With attorneys fees at 300 an hour and up, the amounts you're talking about are trivial.

Forget about the small items even though it's "just not fair!" and get rid of this person so you can start your life over again.

It's just not worth it


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