# My wife of almost 2 years in considering.



## Lost but Strong (Jun 21, 2010)

Hello to all,
My wife of almost 2 years with whom I'm currently separated from is about to ask for a divorce. I have been completely caught off guard by this unexpected news. We have a 3 year old son who is about to turn 4 that makes this even more difficult. Growing up without a father myself, I've always held the belief that there is nothing that I would do to ever have my son experience that same thing. I believe in family to the end. 
I have always been a very closed off person, and never cared to experience love until my wife and I first met. She has completely changed my life, the way that I think, and who I am as a person. She was taught me to communicate and express everything in a relationship, and nothing should be left unsaid. I completely agree with her feeling that in order to make a relationship or marriage last it will require open communication and work. This is something that I have been learning/doing for the past 4 years of our relationship, and I hold my wife to be my soulmate because of how we have helped each other grow.
Well over the past 2 weeks, there has been no communication, and a 2 week trial (no communication) separation was agreed upon. 

She came to me 2 Sunday's ago and told me that she is feeling this feeling of wanting to be alone. She did not really know how to explain her feelings, but said that personal adolescent issues (wont discuss here) are bringing about thoughts of no self-worth, and the thought that she hates herself and feels like a terrible person. 
My wife was recently also diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis 3 months ago at the age of 27. She cited this as another reasoning why she is having the feeling the feelings that she is having.
There has always been an issue with insecurity on both of our parts throughout the duration of the relationship, but we have always talked them out, and used that conversation as a source for our healing.
The following night we both discussed the same conversation again and was once again not very forthcoming but said to me that she feels like she is leaning more towards being alone.
I left the house that very night and from that point on we have been separated. The only communication that we have had over this 2 week period is to decide on a schedule when each of us will be taking turns staying at the house, and telling our son goodnight via phone call every evening. 
I have been at the house for the past 4 nights, and I have no idea where she has been. She was offered a place to stay with various friends of her mother (which I am doing when I am not staying at home), but she has not taken advantage of that.
I was floored when I had a conversation with my son about last week when he told me that while I was out of town on travel, he and my wife had dinner with another man. My son was able to name the person, and it is a person that my wife works with that I have discussed with my wife what their relationship was in the recent past (due to text messages from wife's phone). My wife reassured me that she would never cheat, and has no feelings for this person other than a work relationship.

I have also been speaking with one of her friends that is the only other person that knows my wife as well as I do. She has brought to my attention that my wife has progressed 10X in her feelings from when this first started. She says that my wife has already made up her mind, and she is at the point where there is no turning back. She has notified me that there is another person that is being used by my wife as a transitional person, and that she is not sleeping with him, but have kissed. 
I feel that their relationship is much further along than my wife likes to let on, and has been deceiving me for the past month or 2. 
I have scheduled counselor session for next week to which my wife agreed to attend, but was also notified by her friend that she was planning on using that time to drop the bombshell that she wants a divorce. I have been notified that she has thought out plans for selling/keeping the new house and car and money.

My wife and I are scheduled to speak at home after work tomorrow night, I have already made up my mind that I will ask her for the truth and ask her what has been going on with her. I also like to state my responses to her, and discuss a temporary house schedule for our son. My last goal for the meeting is that I want to let my wife know that I love her, and that if she is willing to be honest with me, I will be willing to forgive, and that she needs more time to think about a decision that will impact the lives of all 3 of us. This family is the most important thing in my life, and I will do anything to keep it together and just TRY, which is something that we haven't been doing since this began. 

I guess I feel like I just wanted to write the situation and feelings down for my own purposes, but I'm also interested in hearing what some of you have to think.

Thank you,


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## jason_tara_00 (Jun 27, 2010)

I hope that your wife realizes the mistake she is making before its too late. I think she will deeply regret it if she follows thru with this.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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