# I want to date but not fall in love... How?



## JH2 (Aug 26, 2011)

Hello,
Ever since I was 16 years old & Im only 23 now, but anyway everytime I would date someone I would find something about them that I absolutely loved. Which would then in return crush me when things wouldn't work out even if I wasn't "in love" with them. I know how annoying this is because when the tables are turned and I meet a guy that has this same problem I drop them & block them because they are annoying & I know when I do this its annoying aswell. I have been suffering from this forever and I do not understand how to date but not fall in love with anything. I just want to have fun and unless its right I dont want to get anywhere near semi serious with anyone. 


So my question is, how to date & not fall in love... 
Yes I want to be happy but I know that falling for anyone right now is a wrong choice.

Thanks for the help in advance!


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

good question. Myself, I'm the kind of guy that only knows how to do long term relationships. From what I can tell by watching my stbxw, she just went out with the first guy that looked at her, then it just kinda branched out from there and now she has a seemingly limitless supply of guys who want to just date (well, I'm sure that's not what they really want). Don't think thats the kind of life for me, but is there no middle ground in all of this?? Why is it always fold vs all-in?


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

I think this article has some good advice that you may want to follow, and I feel like it's pertinent even if it's not just the first date: How to Not Get Attached on a First Date | eHow.com

Here were the recommendations:

1 Remind yourself that you can't fully know a person after one date. Although daydreaming can be tempting, try not to plan the future.

2 Focus on enjoying the date, not on wondering whether this person is the right person for you. Try to stay in the moment.

3 Consider dating more than one person. You're less likely to become infatuated with one person if you have other dates to look forward to and other people to think about.

4 Ask him directly what type of commitment he's interested in.

5 Wait to become physically intimate, until you know them better. Take your time, even if you're very attracted to someone.

6 Don't get discouraged if the relationship doesn't work out, and don't blame yourself. Remind yourself that there are plenty of other people to date.

Best of luck.


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