# My husband had his last chance, what to do now?



## qeenie (Oct 29, 2009)

My husband, I have come to learn, is a lire. He lies about many things. Of course I understand why people lie, we all do don't we? But he will lie about weather he had a shave that morning or what he had for lunch. Lies that he just has no reason to be making yet he just can't seem to control himself.

He has done so many hurtful things to me over our 7 years together. Each time I forgive him because I love him. It is a printed A4 page full of strippers, lies, cheating, chatting up girls, talking to x girlfriends, perving and talking about x's like I should be sorry they broke up. 

Why do I know it's an A4 page? Because I printed it out to show him after he was court looking at porn on the computer. Which he point blank lied and said he was not doing (computer history said otherwise). He was on his very last chance. I told him just once more and I was out the door with both our very young children. Yet here I still am, unhappy but still here.

I don't know what to do. Unless I'm directly telling him I'm hurting and upset he is happy to believe that it has all gone away and all is well.

He dose say sorry, even cries and tells me he is and idiot for doing these things. Yet they just keep happening. 

I can't move past all the hurt. I think about it for hours at night (thanks to being up with a baby). I think about it in the day time. It hunts my life. 
I have no trust in him, my love is just anger and resentment now.

I don't want to leave him and be a single mother. I don't want to put the two babies in care so I can get a job (I am a stay at home mum whilst the kids are so young) 
I just wish that this has not happened and I can go back to having the loving happy marriage that I thought we had at the beginning 

This is so pathetic, but I'm just sort of here in a marriage. Making it look nice when we have visitors, in front of family. My charade is slipping though. I can't seem to be civil to him when we are out, becoming openly nasty in shops . We aren't like that. We used to talk and laugh and touch each other lots.
Now nothing. 

His mother has a lying problem as well I'v noticed. She also thinks that my husband is the best person on the face of the planet. He can do no wrong. She openly tells me that I am out of here if I ever hurt him and that if needed they will pay for another marriage for him. What the hell! Yet in every other way she is friendly to me. I don't trust her either. . .

Please help me come to some sort of resolution what to do. I know if I was someone else reading this I would tell this poor woman to ditch him so fast his bum falls on the floor because the removalist have already taken the couch! 

HELP!


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## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

You follow through that this is his last chance.

If you don't, your word means nothing. And he'll just continue to walk all over you.

Your choice.


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## melvis (Oct 29, 2009)

Bravo Dobo!
He isn't worthy of you or your children right now. And why would you be a single mom? He should still take 50% responsibility in raising your children. Don't let him off the hook like that! 
Stand up, demand respect! You will get all the backing you need from the courts for support. Tell him he's expected to have the children at least every other weekend, and share holidays. You will need the breaks, trust me!
Being a single parent isn't that bad. I left my husband when my daughter was two years old because of emotional and physical abuse. It was the hardest thing I ever did, but I am so happy now that I did it. But I didn't make him be a part of her life, which was wrong. He was quite happy moving on to someone else, marrying her {she was 16, he was 27} and having three other kids. He did pay support, but because he was forced by the courts. 
Dont make that mistake! Unless he's been abusive to the children, make him be a parent and share not only finances but responsibility!


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