# Just found out my wife is pregnant!!!



## ozwang

so as the title reads, im going to be a daddy for the first time.

Wife and I are both over the moon. Im 80% excited, 20% crapping my pants!

What I'm after is some tips from the blokes on here who have been through (with success) what Im heading into over the next 9 months...

I'd love some advice on how I can be the best support to my wife as much as possible, as I have read and heard this can be a trying time on both of us...

Thanks guys


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## alphaomega

Just love her, bud. Fluff her pillow. Make her tea. Hug her. Rub her fat belly. Put your lips to her stomach and talk to that little blastomere growing in there. Make her laugh. Make her comfortable. Go with her to every doctors appointment. Buy that overpriced sonogram. Look through those baby magazines with her. Paint the kids room. Kick her out while you are doing it (paint fumes). But let her pick the colors and patterns, of course. Make those 2 am road trips to seven eleven to get her slurpees and bacon flavored chips. Or, a bacon flavored slurpee.

You? When she gets bitc(y for no reason....just smile and nod. Hormones are going berserk in her. Don't take it personally.

As a guy, that parental instinct will really kick in about month eight. Then you can put foam on all this coffee table corners for her. Buy safety plug covers for the receptacles. Go out to wall mart and pick out one of every sized diaper just in case.

DONT EVER EVER take a picture of your wife holding the baby five minutes after birth and email it to all your friends! Let her get her hair brush and makeup kit first!

It will all be worth it the first time you hold your baby, and that little gaffer looks up at you and makes this cute little O with his or her mouth. Thinking....Hi Dad!

After? Get up in the middle of the night to feed that kid. Let your wife sleep. Download Nora Jones on your iPod so you can play it to your spawn at 10 pm. And 1 am. And 3 am. 

Well, I could go on forever here. The fact that you even posted this question here is a good guarantee that you will be an awesome father and give great support to your wife, regardless.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## alphaomega

And congratulations!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## anonymiss

Congrats. And it was really sweet to ask.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CH

Gratz, and get LOTS, AND LOTS, AND LOTS OF SLEEP RIGHT NOW. Cuz most likely you're not gonna much sleep during that 1st month lol.

And the 1st poop change, that's and eye opening experience, baby poop is sticky, gooey and very, very hard to wipe off.

Aside from those 2 things it wasn't that bad.

If the baby cries it's usually one of 2 things, hungry or dirty diaper.


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## ozwang

Thanks for the replies all, really appreciate it!

I'll do those above things and more :smthumbup:

One thing I'm going to miss is the frequency of sex whilst in the baby making stage


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## Halien

Regarding the 20% scared out of your mind, it changes after you begin to see the baby, and hold him/her. In an instant, all doubts evaporate. The fear turns into a low key nervousness about being a great dad. 

During the pregnancy, it really hits home when you see the baby move. You start hoping that he/she has your best features, but not that goofy smile you tend to get when nobody's watching (just kidding - but you worry a little about the genetics).

Take a lesson learned - if your wife starts to really like blazing hot foods late in the pregnancy, proceed with caution. I really think that's why ours were all born bald.

Congratulations!


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## BigBadWolf

Congratulations!

Good advice already, but I will add this.

Take good care of her, share your excitement openly. 

Very much like we often discuss "fitness tests" in the men's forum, the same with pregnancy, treat any emotional up/down swings with calm, relaxed, humorous confidence. Be strong for her.

She may become insecure about her appearance, so don't be afraid to really turn up your expressions of attraction, and not just the lovey-dovey mushy stuff, I'm talking sexual. 

My own wife often shares with me, years after her pregnancies, how much she appreciated that i was still very much high drive for her even though at the time she acted like I was often a nusance! It really helped her esteem and to cope with changes to her body, so don't be timid to hold back your desires, all of them, even if you have to be "creative" concerning positions or techniques, particularly in the late term. 

So you say you going to miss frequency of sex in baby making stage. Again I'm here to tell you to do your darndest to avoid that, it is important for BOTH of you for this to continue, for after the child is born THEN is the test of tests, that will often strain the sex frequency!

So no sense in starting the bad habits of turning off sex unneccesarily! 

I wish you well during this happy time!


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## Catherine602

******** Mazel tov ********* 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Enchantment

Congratulations!! :smthumbup:

Pregnancy can be an exciting and trying time for both the new mom-to-be and new dad-to-be. I know that when I was pregnant I probably was a bit wrapped up in myself because I didn't always feel the best and it was such a novel experience, so if your wife is like that, don't take it too much to heart. Just let her know how excited you are, how much you love her, and how much you desire her. 

Sex with our first was no problem - the hormones really seemed to help increase my drive, but we did have to try different positions (usually entry from the back) as I got bigger and bigger. Sex with our second was non-existent - I had a high-risk pregnancy because of my age and some other medical conditions, but we resumed it as soon as we could afterward. I hope that your wife can have that nice surge in drive that most often comes with the second trimester. 

Here's another message board you might be interested in just for new dads: Dad's Corner - What to Expect.com

And here's a good book just for you: Amazon.com: She's Having a Baby - and I'm Having a Breakdown (0038332181777): James Douglas Barron: Books

God Bless.


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## ozwang

Thank you so much for all the awesome advice everyone, very appreciate dad-to-be here.

She's only 6 weeks in and already self concious about how her body is going to change. I just reassure her that she's beautiful no matter what. The boobs getting bigger are just an added bonus :smthumbup:

I guess cos I'm taking a bit of a side seat on this process, I want to be the best co-pilot I can!


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## wemogirl

Congratulations!


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## F-102

Congrats, bud! And remember: Being a father is spending one year getting the little one to walk and talk, then spending the next eighteen years getting them to sit down and shut up!


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## dojo

This is AWESOME news. So happy to read it. We have so many people here who have gone through hardships in their lives, that reading this really makes me smile. Congratulations.

Just enjoy the ride, take care of the mother and prepare to be the best parent ever


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## heartsbeating

aww congratulations!


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## ozwang

dojo said:


> This is AWESOME news. So happy to read it. We have so many people here who have gone through hardships in their lives, that reading this really makes me smile. Congratulations.


Thank you, happy to be able to give you a smile. It's an exciting time for us as we'd been trying to conceive for a good little while now, had a female factor fertility issue (so we were on some fertility meds) and THEN we were just about to head down the IUI/IVF path...we ended up conceiving naturally!!!! :smthumbup:

Never been happier in my life than I am right now, can't wait to look into the babies eyes, and think to myself....you're part of me and I made you


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## alphaomega

Lol! Friend, your going to be an awesome dad!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## RandomDude

Congratulations! Trust me, I wouldn't trade my kid for anything else in this world, she's the pride and joy of my life. In 9 months time, you're going to feel it! 

As for your missus, just be sensitive and empathic to her, be a jerk later. She's fragile at the moment, and when she wants something remember, even if she chucks a fit, remember to do it anyway and say to yourself "This is for my kid"


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## YinPrincess

I just wanted to say... I love this thread! So good to see some happiness around here!!! Congrats! If you're already this gung-ho about helping your wife, you'll be an EXCELLENT daddy!!!! 



RandomDude said:


> As for your missus, just be sensitive and empathic to her, be a jerk later. She's fragile at the moment


Would you mind counseling MY husband?? LOL JK


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## ozwang

Thanks for all the positive comments everyone, things are going great and I couldn't be happier.

Due to bad morning sickness (not sure why they call it morning as she can sometimes feel ill all day!) the sex life is copping it a bit, but I'm obviously understanding of the situation and all I care about is her and bub.

In my private time i might just have to re-acquaint myself with my hand :rofl:


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## Married&Confused

next 9 months???? good luck with the next 19 years!

congrats.


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## Riverside MFT

Congrats.
There has been lots of great advice already. I would like to add just a few things:
1) Go with her to the doctor's appointments. You should epecially be at the first couple of appointments with her when you will get to hear the heartbeat and see baby's first ultrasound.
2) Starting reading baby's books to the baby. A baby's sense of hearing is one of the few senses that is fully developed before baby even leaves the womb. Baby's are able to recognize their mother's voice, because they always hear it. Read to your baby before he/she is born and he/she will recognize your voice as well when they are born.
3) After delivering the baby (and everything has somewhat settled down), run down to the hospital gift shop and get her some flowers. Let her know how much she means to you as the mother of your child.


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## morituri

I hope that I'm not throwing a monkey wrench with this post but be very vigilant of your wife after the birth of your child. We men have no idea of the physical and emotional upheaval that our women experience during and after pregnancy. Some experience the horrendous post-partum depression. If you see her behavior turn for the worse after giving birth, drag her a*s kicking and screaming to her gynecologist to give her the medical attention she needs. She may say that she hate you for doing so but believe me, she will thank you later.


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## ozwang

Thank you once again for more advice. Really appreciate it.

I've been to all the appointments so far, and not long went to the scan to see the heartbeat :yay: was the best thing ive ever seen


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## ozwang

just went to the 3 month scan....

MOST AMAZING THING IVE SEEN IN MY LIFE!! :smthumbup:


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## that_girl

Aww that's so special 

We still have our 3 year old's ultrasound photos framed in her room <3 

Congrats! Parenthood is cool. I dig it.


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## chaohooy

Congratulations!


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## ozwang

Time has flown and we just had the 20week scan. Everything going great, morning sickness has passed, and wifey actually still wants some action fairly regularly :smthumbup:

Got some extra great news also...its a little boy


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## Enchantment

ozwang said:


> Time has flown and we just had the 20week scan. Everything going great, morning sickness has passed, and wifey actually still wants some action fairly regularly :smthumbup:
> 
> Got some extra great news also...its a little boy


Awesome!

Boys are the bestest! I've got two of my own.


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## ozwang

Thought Id put some closure to my thread by saying on the 2nd April my wife and I became the proud parents to a healthy baby boy. 7lb2, 50cm and cute as hell :smthumbup:

Now begins fatherhood, something I am so very excited about


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## Browncoat

Awesome!  My best bit of advice, get as much sleep as you can, when you can. The first few weeks are the hardest imo.


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## zaliblue

Congrats!

These next 9 months are going to be a little crazy, but in a good way. Just try to understand that it's her hormones lol....if you're lucky, her sex drive will be crazy....my hubby joked when i was preggo that i was a "minute-woman" lol


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## heartsbeating

ozwang said:


> Thought Id put some closure to my thread by saying on the 2nd April my wife and I became the proud parents to a healthy baby boy. 7lb2, 50cm and cute as hell :smthumbup:
> 
> Now begins fatherhood, something I am so very excited about


:smthumbup::smthumbup:


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## ECau_Z

Congratulations:smthumbup:...It is just beautiful that you care enough to ask, it sounds to me like if you keep on being the man that you are your family will make it a very long way, I hope to God that your wife knows how lucky she is. I wish you all the very BEST!!!


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## Jeff/BC

I'll toss in something here. You're life does not end when the baby is born. Your love life does not end when the baby is born. Wild sex does not end when the baby is born.... unless you both allow them to.

Work with her closely and don't allow that to happen. It's tempting. A baby, for obvious reasons, is a BIG focus. But in the end, the baby needs a healthy, happy family to thrive in. Don't let the baby come first. That was, in part, the downfall of my first marriage. I quickly became useless baggage when she attached to our son. 

I also very much like being highly involved in the entire process... doctor appointments, birthing classes, the actual delivery, post-delivery care, etc.


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## dandelion

Congrats! So exciting=] . 

1. She doesn't have control over her body ( at least for me that's how I felt when I was pregnant) so be patent with the hormons haha.
2. Going to the doctors appointments with her is always good.my husband most of the time couldn't make it cause of school and work and the days he couldn't go I wish he were there to share the excitement. 
3. Help her with sitting up! Omg that was hard to do so havin help was always nice.cause of the big belly in the way 
4.give massages often! A lot of sore and swollen areas! It's not easy carrying a baby so you giving her massages will feel good for her but also maybe have her see that it's not easy being pregnant,if that makes any sense. 

And again congrats!!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## J.R.Jefferis

Congratulations! Having a child is a wonderful step in a relationship/marriage.


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## meowmers

ozwang said:


> I'd love some advice on how I can be the best support to my wife as much as possible
> 
> Thanks guys


This tells me that you are going to be just fine.


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## This is me

Great news!! Congrats.


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## bkaydezz

Happy baby!!!

Search you you and your partners love languages and put them in effect during this time too. that will help!!!

I notice that for the man the most emotional and biggest concern is always financial as far as taking care of a child..

I want to add that no matter how prepared you are, there is not right time to have a child. anythign can happen at any moment.

This is a go with the flow process as it is going to be a rollercoster ride for you both. but a blessing in the outcome!!!

Happy for you both!!!


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