# Filing for Legal Separation



## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

So its been decided. We've agreed to file for legal separation instead of divorce.

My reason is I desperately need his health insurance benefits to continue. His reason is "the door is still open".

The door has pretty much closed for me. He would have to make massive changes and sincere apologies, all of which he has not done to date in any way, shape or form. He has never acknowkedged or owned up to all the terrible things he did during our marriage, all the EA's, lies, betrayals, terrorizing me, etc. He thinks he is faultless and a "wonderful person" who has done no wrong. The demise of our marriage is all my fault, apparently. I'm so tired of it....

I am relieved. I see this step as moving forward and beginning a new life for myself and my son. I don't expect anything to change with him. I hold no hopes for reconciliation. I just expect this to be the end.

I've asked him to move out as soon as I get a full time job. He told me he's broke and does not have enough money to pay for deposit and rent up front so he will have to rent a room off a single friend. Geezz.... We've been splitting his paycheck for about 4 months now and I've managed to save $4000 in my savings account, even while paying all the bills and living expenses 50/50 with him. 

I guess that's what you get when you party with your female "friends" every weekend. I've always been good at saving and managing money, and yet, he blames me 100% for all and any financial issues we've had during our 12 yr marriage.

If I ever meet someone else and want to get married again, I'll simply petition the court to change the legal separation to a divorce. Easily done in CA. I won't even being to think about dating for a few years. One has to properly deal and heal from a divorce, or else the next one will be a disaster too.


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## Aries35 (Jun 22, 2012)

kinda sounds like my situation. i can use some advice. we seperated, but not legally. he says he dont want a divorce cause isurance purposes. thats its my choice he says. but i think he is keeping the door open. iam at the point where i want to let him go but icant seem to.


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## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

Aries: one day you will wake up and think "okay its time". Time to file, time to move on , time to get back your own life without him messing with your head and emotions. 

It will just be TIME. Who knows when that will be, for me it just happened and now there's no looking back. 

UPDATE: He owes me over $300 for groceries and stuff for our son I've bought over the past month or so. I kept receipts and gave them to him and he got ANGRY AT ME... and informed me he is broke and can't pay me a cent. He said he doesn't even have enough money left over to pay for gas to get to work. He earns over $115000 a year!! He gives me half of his after-tax paycheck. He has managed his money so poorly and blown it on booze and parties and now he's crying broke. And he has the nerve to be angry at me for his financial mess????

Is he serious? HE wanted the divorce. HE refuses to give up the bimbos. HE refuses to go to counselling. HE refuses to work on our marriage.

What a freakin nerve. Pissed at me for him being broke.


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