# Some need lube.....others don't.



## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

Right now if and when my wife and I have sex there HAS to be oils or lubricants involved or I'm not allowed in, but with my ex and also a past girlfriend all it took was making out and fondling their breasts for about 5-10 minutes and they were......_wet and ready_(without lube).

So in a perfect world all women would be able to do this and just curious why it's not more common?


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

All women are built differently.....accept that. 









_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hopefull363 (Feb 13, 2012)

Some women's breasts are more sensitive than others. Try different types of foreplay with your wife. Maybe oral. My husband and I never use lubs. There are some times in the month when I'm dryer than usual do to hormones. If I get dry husband goes back down. If husband loses hardness I go back down. It's a give and take.


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## MrsOldNews (Feb 22, 2012)

Ive never needed lubes. However most of my past sexual partners understood good foreplay leads to good sex . I dont get turned on AT ALL having my breasts fondled. They've never had much feeling anyway unless it's thst time of the month, then they're to sore and sensitive to touch.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Women are different.

Pleasure or level of excitement is not always an indicator. 

Although usually, there is a threshold, which once you get there leads to more moisture production.

But, in my marriage and a few relationships since, lube is required.

Do your research. There are water based and silicone based.

With my ex, we had our best success with silicone based.


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## Ano (Jun 7, 2012)

I only use lube for anal.

Its so greasy and oily and makes it soo wet that it takes some of the sensation away for me.

Most of the time we use a little spit to get it in and that does the trick without flooding me like lube does.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Cee Paul said:


> Right now if and when my wife and I have sex there HAS to be oils or lubricants involved or I'm not allowed in, but with my ex and also a past girlfriend all it took was making out and fondling their breasts for about 5-10 minutes and they were......_wet and ready_(without lube).
> 
> So in a perfect world all women would be able to do this and just curious why it's not more common?


Now you've got me wondering -- for most women, is it more common to need to use the lube OR is it more common to have that natural wetness?


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## Numb in Ohio (Oct 31, 2011)

At the beginning I am usually the "wet n ready".. but about half way through I dry up... not sure if this is more physical or mental... I don't like it to drag on for an hour or more... I get bored.


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## Dr. Rockstar (Mar 23, 2011)

Not to brag, but my wife and I have always used lube. We have to because if we don't, penetration becomes physically painful. I have never thought of need for lube as any kind of rejection or insult.

To put it another way... just the fact that she wants lube means that she wants sex. And that's the most important thing, right?


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

For me it seems to depend on the time of the month, the alignment of the planets... and my mood.


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## Eco (Mar 9, 2012)

Some women I've been with were pretty much wet all the time - even before foreplay, while others need lots of help getting and/or staying wet. Some have thicker natural lube, others have more watery lube (cervical mucus is different at different phases of her cycle too) They taste different, they feel different, they are just pretty different!


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## GinnyTonia (Jul 31, 2012)

OP, is your wife on birth control pills? 
I normally spend at least half of my day in some degree of arousal, complete with wetness. But when taking birth control, I need LOTS of foreplay to get wet.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I've hardly ever needed it...the only time I even recall having any K-Y in our house -was when we 1st married & he couldn't get it in....we needed ALL the help we could get! 

But after that...hadn't touched the stuff -or even thought about it - till like 3 yrs ago when I decided to spice the sex life up & got some "flavored" lubes for oral - then after my drive calmed ... still wanted to keep the frequency going....so I found I need it now & then, but still pretty rare. I wasn't ready to go go go anymore - a little frustrating, but when he IS ready- some of those mornings... I'm not missing that opportunity ! 

I've never taken hormonal birth control so maybe this is why. We only used condoms & the rhythm method -for 19yrs -then got the non-hormonal IUD.


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## KremerOtha (Aug 7, 2012)

Some women's breasts are more sensitive than others


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

My wife doesn't need any lube .
What I have noticed about her though,is that sometimes she is wetter than other times ,which I equate with her level of arousal. 

And even though I agree that all women are different , I am tempted to think that sometimes it all depends on her level of attraction and arousal.
Its a mental thing IMO.

I say this because of my past and present experience.
Women talk and they do compare.


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## Bellavista (May 29, 2012)

Age plays a big factor as well. As a woman gets older, she may produce less natural lubrication, especially after menopause.
I think you just have to adapt to the person you are with & the changing stages of life, after all, lube is made for a reason!


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## Kathrynthegreat (Apr 23, 2012)

Depends on her state of arousal. Depends on the time of the month. Depends on what meds she's taking. Depends on the size of the man, relative to the woman.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

If there is kissing and touching, I don't need lube. 

If it's just a quickie, I may need it. 

What's the biggie? I dated men who had tons of pre-cum, my husband hardly ever gets it. big woop.


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## lifeisnotsogood (Jun 11, 2012)

Cee Paul said:


> Right now if and when my wife and I have sex there HAS to be oils or lubricants involved or I'm not allowed in, but with my ex and also a past girlfriend all it took was making out and fondling their breasts for about 5-10 minutes and they were......_wet and ready_(without lube).
> 
> So in a perfect world all women would be able to do this and just curious why it's not more common?


There are other ways to get her wet that she may appreciate...go down on her.


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## Adex (Aug 1, 2012)

We always use a vibrator and spermicidal lubricant. The spermicide and pulling out is our form of contraception. No need for birth control pills.


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## Kasler (Jul 20, 2012)

Never needed lube, and one my time with my current gf she wanted me to go in dry after vaginal sex. 

mindblowing, but on the point you may just need to learn how to stimulate her first, and perhaps you can just go down on her and lube her up that way.


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

I guess what I was trying to say is that I wish that my wife was more like my ex wife and ex girlfriend, because they did not need lube everytime and a whole grand production and 20 minutes of foreplay to be all wet and READY to go. Once I began making out with my ex-wife and fondling her breasts and backside it wouldn't take very long at all before she says loudly - "I am soooo wet and wanna f*ck right now", and so what man wouldn't want his woman to handle her business like that.


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## MrsOldNews (Feb 22, 2012)

Cee Paul said:


> I guess what I was trying to say is that I wish that my wife was more like my ex wife and ex girlfriend, because they did not need lube everytime and a whole grand production and 20 minutes of foreplay to be all wet and READY to go. Once I began making out with my ex-wife and fondling her breasts and backside it wouldn't take very long at all before she says loudly - "I am soooo wet and wanna f*ck right now", and so what man wouldn't want his woman to handle her business like that.


Don't tell me you just wanna sick it in with little to no foreplay involved that's just sad, especially for your wife. And I'm guessing it takes a little more than breast fondling to get most women warmed up. You should be happy you know what your wife needs to warm up and how to do it. Stop pondering the past girlfriend bs and worry about the here and now.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

All women are different, just like others have said.

Me, I get too wet and actually have to wipe off as it's too "slippery."

And my breasts are extremely sensitive, I always joke to my husband that they are connected to my "tw&&". You play with my breasts and I'm ready to go immediately.

Reason why I haven't gotten a boob job, too afraid of losing the sensation.

Bottom line - she's just different, that's all.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

Cee Paul said:


> I guess what I was trying to say is that I wish that my wife was more like my ex wife and ex girlfriend, because they did not need lube everytime and a whole grand production and 20 minutes of foreplay to be all wet and READY to go. Once I began making out with my ex-wife and fondling her breasts and backside it wouldn't take very long at all before she says loudly - "I am soooo wet and wanna f*ck right now", and so what man wouldn't want his woman to handle her business like that.


Yeah but she's your ex-wife--must be a reason for that--her "I am sooo wet and wanna f*ck right now" apparently did nothing to keep the marriage together.

Quit comparing your current wife with others - that's a bad move from any angle. If the "others" were so great, why aren't you still with them?


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## tjohnson (Mar 10, 2010)

All women are different and even then can change with age or children. 

Also some women don't get aroused with breast fondling. 

Perhaps you can find out if there are any other pre-game activities that may get more of her juices flowing. Try to do so in a way that won't make her feel bad about not being able to become naturally lubed. 

Try perhaps to embrace the use of lube. I once lubed my wifes whole crotch with lube and rubbed her viggorously. She had not tried this herself and she practically saw stars she came so many times and intensly. 

There may be a time (hopefully not) that you may need a little help getting hard. Think how this would feel and tread lightly on the topic. 

On the plus side lube can also allow you to sometimes last longer. This can be really fun too.


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## Inside_Looking_Out (Apr 8, 2012)

For women that can't secrete very much, I imagine it can feel akin to ED in men. It can make you feel very inadequate, for both partners. The more you worry about it, the worse it can get because you have a hard time thinking about anything other than the issue at hand.

Please don't let on to your partner that you find this lacking unless if you have a really really good line of communication going on.

I never had a big problem with my level of wetness until I had a hysterectomy. From then on, lube is required at some point. There are times, like when I give my husband a BJ, or when the foreplay is especially good, that I will be quite wet. But other times, even if I am over-the-moon excited, that I will be pretty much dry. 

I have no control over it, and although my husband has always been sweet and has never complained, I can tell that he is disappointed a little when he reaches down during foreplay and discovers I still need lube. He is so nice about it, but it does give me a twinge and makes me feel 'broken'.


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

MrsOldNews said:


> Don't tell me you just wanna sick it in with little to no foreplay involved that's just sad, especially for your wife. And I'm guessing it takes a little more than breast fondling to get most women warmed up. You should be happy you know what your wife needs to warm up and how to do it. Stop pondering the past girlfriend bs and worry about the here and now.


Well the here and now sex wise has been pretty crappy and non-existent for quite awhile now, and I'm allowed to miss certain elements that I really enjoyed from ex-wives and ex-girlfriends because it's normal and I'm only human. And before everyone starts in about "well if you did this - and if you did that", for the record I have already TRIED doing many and multiple things to please my wife in bed, but she flat out admitted that she's never really enjoyed sex as much as she should probably. And when you have been with women in the past who did LOVE sex as much as you do and now you're married to someone who really doesn't, it becomes a problem eventually(and no amount of lube or foreplay is gonna change all that).


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

I don't need lube at all. I get wet just thinking about sex. My mom told me to enjoy that, because when I get to her age I will apparently dry up. :rofl:


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

Cee Paul said:


> Well the here and now sex wise has been pretty crappy and non-existent for quite awhile now, and I'm allowed to miss certain elements that I really enjoyed from ex-wives and ex-girlfriends because it's normal and I'm only human. And before everyone starts in about "well if you did this - and if you did that", for the record I have already TRIED doing many and multiple things to please my wife in bed, but she flat out admitted that she's never really enjoyed sex as much as she should probably. And when you have been with women in the past who did LOVE sex as much as you do and now you're married to someone who really doesn't, it becomes a problem eventually(and no amount of lube or foreplay is gonna change all that).


Did she make that admission BEFORE you got married?

If not, then shame on her. Was she hot and ready to go before you got married and it slowed down afterwards?

I don't mean to be harsh, but if she didn't discuss any of this with you BEFORE you got married, then it sounds like a bait and switch to me. 

Maybe she's never really had great sex (no disrespect to you intended), and doesn't know what she's been missing. I know I didn't enjoy sex until I married my second husband--he was the one who worked to light my fire. Perhaps that's the issue...


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

I would like to add to what the above poster said, has she ever had a full orgasm? I believe that women who don't enjoy sex, say that because they have never had a full orgasm. I would also say, age plays into how much foreplay one may need.... don't know how old your wife is, but if she is going through any hormonal changes, that could definitely cause vaginal dryness, or if she has had any surgery (ovaries removed, etc).... If it takes some more time, be patient. But I too would like to know has she always been like this... 
There are times with my hubs I am ready to go with just one touch, and then other times (usually coincide with my cycle where i need the whole production to get naturally wet-sometimes I just reach for the lube) and other times I know i am wet farther up, I can feel it, I am turned on, but for whatever reason it just hasn't come down the pipe yet to make entry easy.... and in those cases I use some bj work to make it slip in easier.... is your wife helping the situation?


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

I have never needed any!! That may change as I get older, but i doubt it. The more aroused i get the wetter i am. Even not being aroused i still wouldn't need any.

I think i depends on the woman.


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

MarriedWifeInLove said:


> Did she make that admission BEFORE you got married?
> 
> If not, then shame on her. Was she hot and ready to go before you got married and it slowed down afterwards?
> 
> ...


She admitted this to me about 3 years AFTER we were married after seeing me get sexually frustrated when things slowed way down. As far as the sex goes; not to toot my own horn but I know my way around the bedroom and are willing to get pretty darn kinky or intense with whomever I'm with, and one thing a few of my exe's have said afterwards was that the sex was always great but the relationships themselves sucked.


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## Browneyedgurl020610 (Apr 18, 2012)

Sometimes I need it and sometimes I don't. Oral usually does the trick for me in that department.


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## romantic_guy (Nov 8, 2011)

I have only had sex with one woman so I can't compare. All I know is that she needs lubricant of some kind. Saliva works best most of the time and I really enjoy applying it!!


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

romantic_guy said:


> I have only had sex with one woman so I can't compare. All I know is that she needs lubricant of some kind. Saliva works best most of the time and I really enjoy applying it!!


I've only been with _four_ women in my life over the past 27 years of having sex(and married 2 of them), so I'm not too much of a man wh*re I guess - lol


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## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

GinnyTonia said:


> OP, is your wife on birth control pills?
> I normally spend at least half of my day in some degree of arousal, complete with wetness. But when taking birth control, I need LOTS of foreplay to get wet.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Ditt-oooooooo


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

Cee Paul said:


> She admitted this to me about 3 years AFTER we were married after seeing me get sexually frustrated when things slowed way down. As far as the sex goes; not to toot my own horn but I know my way around the bedroom and are willing to get pretty darn kinky or intense with whomever I'm with, and one thing a few of my exe's have said afterwards was that the sex was always great but the relationships themselves sucked.


So then she's admitting it was a bait and switch.

Shame on her.

Ball in your court now, sounds like she has admitted she doesn't really like sex. I doubt then that there's anything you could do to change her mind. If she's willing to go to counseling or to a sex therapist, maybe.

So now you're going to have to decide what to do about it. 

Live the rest of your life in a marriage that you consider sexless based on frequency, etc.

Or, leave...


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

MarriedWifeInLove said:


> So then she's admitting it was a bait and switch.
> 
> Shame on her.
> 
> ...


I guess it's either accept it and feel lucky to get any action once in a blue moon, watch porn and take care of things myself in the mean time, or eventually leave her for that and several other reasons. But one thing I will not do is cheat, because that's not a position I wanna be in looking over my shoulders and constantly covering up my tracks everywhere.


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

drinking water does help with the hydration of the fluids you are putting out down there.


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

bkaydezz said:


> drinking water does help with the hydration of the fluids you are putting out down there.


Maybe she needs to drink a whole swimming pool amount then - per day(lol). :rofl:


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

oh Lord.
hahaha!!!

maybe you can just fill her like a swimming pool!!!

PROBLEM SOLVED! 

your welcome


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