# I do not have feelings anymore. What now?



## LOVEASIANCHERRY (Nov 8, 2009)

Married 12.5 years. My wife had a 1 year secret online relationship with an old friend from her country in 2004-2005. I put in a superhuman effort to become the best husband ever after this.(Why? I wasn't the cheater) 

Anyway, we had a few good years after all my work to fix it, up until last year. The past year had been a disaster, probably the 2nd worst year in our marriage. I just have slowly gotten sick of her not appreciating me and I do not feel respected by her. I no longer want to be around her, she just always annoys me.

After all these years of saying how beautiful she is, NOW she has to start using make up for the first time? Obviously my words don't do it for her. I do not really trust her. I did during the good years, of course she was pregnant or at home with our son. I am absolutely not happy and to be quite honest, she does not make me happy at all. I AM SO AGAINST DIVORCE. I am against it like a muslim is against dressing indecently, yet what to do now? 

I think like Dr Laura said in her book, after a period of time, lack or respect and appreciation for any husband can wear him down. I dont see my feelings ever coming back. Just sick of her crap. Maybe its karma and time for her to feel the pain she caused me 5 years ago. 

Before I forget, I gave way too much to her family, and do not feel she appreciates it. Also, SHE refused marriage counseling back in 2000-2002 when my job covered it. 

Lastly, I came from a horrible home and a bad mother. I am seriously affected because I never knew a mothers love, or any other woman's (except my wife) for that matter and now I have to deal with this crap. I feel I deserve better. Most people from families like mine are in jail or sociopaths or addicts. I wish I could talk to a counselor now, even if it was just myself. Of course, I know my issues, it would just be nice to talk to someone.


----------



## preso (May 1, 2009)

Marriage is based on trust and commitment ( not feelings), sounds like your marriage has none so why are you so against divorce? When there isn't the basics of marriage, there is no marriage.

If you want to know about love, check out a bible and give the love you find to yourself, that way, you'll be sure to not only know what love is, but later be able to give it to someone else.


----------

