# Heartbroken



## Lb1 (Aug 10, 2020)

Hi I’m Lauren. My relationship just ended I’m beyond heartbroken. He was with someone else I caught him lying. What do I do now? How do I reconcile not only does he not love me and want to be with me but he’s already moved on and left me behind


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## Avocadorable (Aug 10, 2020)

Hey Lauren. Sorry to hear about your heartbreak, everyday get easier. Surounding yourself by friends and loved ones is a good start. Picking up a new hobby is also helpful. Mostly you just have to focus on the positive everyday, take deep breaths, and know.....
It Gets Easier


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

I'm sorry for your loss and for your pain.



Lb1 said:


> He was with someone else I caught him lying


Is that someone you really want to be with ?


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## tommy88 (Aug 10, 2020)

Sorry you are in a bad place. It´s probably overwhelming and it sounds like you are trying to understand the next steps so already you are progressing. I was in a samilar place. What I discovered about my partner was a shock. Now I get angry because I wasn´t aware that this was always a possibility considering her optimism about marriage was different due to experiences of life with her parents etc. Buff, I tried but it was never the same again after a really bad patch. I suppose it could of got better as well but the odds were against that happening. I would get away from it if you can and see what happens, see the reaction and how the emotions change. Good luck


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## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

Hey, sorry for your situation. I would suggest not getting back with him at all; I know it's tempting b/c you no longer "have him", so this other girl is a competition catalyst for you...but he's not worth it. If you're having problems now and you're only dating, imagine the problems you would have if you married him. You should be with someone who loves and respects you. For now I'd say focus on you; distract yourself any way you can (positive distractions). Hang out with friends, go for brunches or dinners, try to do a little shopping if possible, don't know if spas are open yet, but go get a massage. Forget this fool.


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## BigbadBootyDaddy (Jun 18, 2018)

Someone I once loved gave me a box of darkness, It took me months to realize that this was also a gift.


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## StarFires (Feb 27, 2018)

We always attach our worth to the actions of the men we love. When they want to be with someone else, we wonder "why not me." When they move on to another relationship too quickly, we question "why didn't I matter more."

We know of millions of people who contract and suffer from various ailments and diseases, but when a person discovers they, themselves, have a bad illness or disease, they start cursing God and asking "Why me? Why did this have to happen to me?"

Do you see our patterns? Do you see how our sense of self plays tricks on us?

We never think about the human conditions that befall other people can also happen to us, and heartbreak from a love that moved on is also a human condition. A very common one.

All it means is you have to move on also. I know it's hard because you don't presently have another love interest to help you through like he has. What might make a little bit easier to move on is knowing that since he cheated on you, he wasn't worth being with in the first place. He's just a guy who hops between relationships during relationships. You don't want that kind of man in your life. You should safeguard your heart by guarding your feelings before letting yourself fall in love with a guy until you have a good idea of what he's like. A man who is no good will reveal himself soon enough. The first time you make that discovery, then you should be the one to quickly move on, rather than feeling sorry for yourself and thinking you lost something worth having because you didn't.

I hope you feel better soon. What I found very helpful after a sad breakup was to read a good book because it kept my mind occupied so I didn't have any opportunity to pine and sulk over him. When I finished the book a couple days later, all those intense and desperate feelings were gone, and he seemed like a distant memory. Do yourself that very big favor so you can feel better quickly and find a book at the library or online to read. *Hoopla* is free if you have a library card, or you can easily get one from the library if you don't.


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## StarFires (Feb 27, 2018)

BigbadBootyDaddy said:


> Someone I once loved gave me a box of darkness, It took me months to realize that this was also a gift.


That deserved repeating.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

@Lb1 sorry you had to look for us, but glad you found us.

There are many people here on TAM who have been where you are. We are here for you.


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