# What will u do?



## lilysandra (Jul 16, 2009)

Pls what will u do if u catch your woman on ur bed together with another man. Pls i need your opinion. 

thanks


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## tuzal (Dec 25, 2009)

Considering the STIs and HIV&AIDS, I would walk away. Before I do so, I will have to confront the situation so that I move on with my life (closure). I will also assess the situation to check if I am not at fault (e.g not paying enough attention to her). I If you still love her, I would suggest counselling and see where that take you. Trusting her again will be a problem for me.


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## mike1 (Jun 15, 2009)

If I caught them in the act I might actually go crazy for a minute. I'm not a violent person but I don't know if I could control myself and might grab the baseball bat beside my bed and take a few whacks at him and throw him out of my house. Hopefully just bruised up or scared Sh*tless before he was running out of my house and on the street naked. I hope I wouldn't go too crazy and kill the basterd.

That all aside I don't know what I would do in my relationship with my wife in the aftermath. We have kids and a lot of what we did would depend on her attitude. It would take a while but I could see staying with her if she was genuinely remourceful and if she would agree to a number of stipulations about her activities after that. Of course if she didn't give a crap then we would be done.


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## mike1 (Jun 15, 2009)

Tuzal makes a good point about doing some self-evaluation and see if you share any of the blame. 

I worry about getting myself into trouble because I am so unsatisfied at home sexually. Me wanting sex so much more then her is one of the biggest problems between us and I do worry from time to time especially when we don't have sex for weeks at a time that I could be capable of cheating if the opportunity came up. I mention this because I KNOW there would be no self-evaluation on her part if the situation were reversed. It would be 100% my fault and she would be unwilling to take any of the responsibility. 

So it is important IMO to look at what you did to contribute to the problem whether you're a man or a woman.


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## Mal74 (Dec 24, 2009)

mike1 said:


> Tuzal makes a good point about doing some self-evaluation and see if you share any of the blame.
> 
> I worry about getting myself into trouble because I am so unsatisfied at home sexually. Me wanting sex so much more then her is one of the biggest problems between us and I do worry from time to time especially when we don't have sex for weeks at a time that I could be capable of cheating if the opportunity came up. I mention this because I KNOW there would be no self-evaluation on her part if the situation were reversed. It would be 100% my fault and she would be unwilling to take any of the responsibility.
> 
> So it is important IMO to look at what you did to contribute to the problem whether you're a man or a woman.


I think that's right. There are always two people in the marriage and I've rarely seen issues where one partner is blameless. 

It'd be awfully hard to be that introspective and self-aware in the heat of the moment of discovering an affair though. 

Mike, I'm sorry you're not in a happier place with your marriage. Perhaps she will come around to some degree and see how she gains by meeting more of your needs and desires.


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