# Talk About Erections



## Faithful Wife

Spawned from another thread. Lots of things to discuss about erections. I’ll be reading a long. Please don’t make this hard on me guys, just speak up. Choose your own adventure type thread, nothing is a threadjack as long as it’s about, you know.

Also! Obviously we can’t be pervs here so keep it classy. 

And.....go!


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## EllisRedding

A woman can never fully understand the challenge of peeing with an erection, especially when in a small bathroom where you only have a few feet between the toilet and the wall...


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## Edo Edo

Faithful Wife said:


> Spawned from another thread. Lots of things to discuss about erections. I’ll be reading a long. Please don’t make this hard on me guys, just speak up. Choose your own adventure type thread, nothing is a threadjack as long as it’s about, you know.
> 
> Also! Obviously we can’t be pervs here so keep it classy.
> 
> And.....go!



For even more fun:

Take a drink for every pun you see! "Wood" anyone be interested...? 

And...... Go!


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## Faithful Wife

Edo Edo said:


> Faithful Wife said:
> 
> 
> 
> Spawned from another thread. Lots of things to discuss about erections. I’ll be reading a long. Please don’t make this hard on me guys, just speak up. Choose your own adventure type thread, nothing is a threadjack as long as it’s about, you know.
> 
> Also! Obviously we can’t be pervs here so keep it classy.
> 
> And.....go!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> For even more fun:
> 
> Take a drink for every pun you see! "Wood" anyone be interested...? <a href="http://talkaboutmarriage.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Big Grin" ></a>
> 
> And...... Go!
Click to expand...

Damn, I’m at work. I’ll check the thread later tonight and see how long it’s gotten.


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## EllisRedding

Also, and not erection related per se (although an erection was certainly involved leading up to), one of the most dangerous times for a guy to pee is after sex. Maybe you have one stream, maybe you have five lol.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti

*Talk About Erections*



Faithful Wife said:


> ....Please don’t *make this hard* on me guys,





Faithful Wife said:


> ....see how *long *it’s gotten.


Yeah, it's going to be _difficult _to stay on topic with this one.


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## PigglyWiggly

My erections look fantastic in the new bloomers Santa brought me....azz too. I am the definition of average when it comes to penis size but the recent catcalling by the wife has made me obnoxiously arrogant around her when I am wearing these new bloomers. She has named me her KockyKowboy! Being objectified by my wife at age 50 is a thrill


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## TheDudeLebowski

Would you like to see it? I prefer to show flacid pics as im a grower. So it keeps that element of surprise still on my side. That way its like "awe, look at the little fella" then they get the full show and its like "Oh, ok! Not as bad as I thought"


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## Faithful Wife

TheDudeLebowski said:


> Would you like to see it? I prefer to show flacid pics as im a grower. So it keeps that element of surprise still on my side. That way its like "awe, look at the little fella" then they get the full show and its like "Oh, ok! Not as bad as I thought"


Dude, please don’t get yourself banned or get my thread shut down. That would be a total boner killer.

Oh wait, you were talking to @EllisRedding

That makes so much more sense now.


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## 269370

EllisRedding said:


> Also, and not erection related per se (although an erection was certainly involved leading up to), one of the most dangerous times for a guy to pee is after sex. Maybe you have one stream, maybe you have five lol.



Yeah, what the hell is THAT all about? Whoever designed it, didn’t follow the Lego instructions properly.
Last night I woke up, I thought I had 5 ducks, given the 5 streams all over the place.
Good thing I was sitting down...

Edit: ****s


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## Andy1001

Faithful Wife said:


> Damn, I’m at work. I’ll check the thread later tonight and see how long it’s gotten.


Did looking at your phone at work prick your conscience?


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## arbitrator

EllisRedding said:


> A woman can never fully understand the challenge of peeing with an erection, especially when in a small bathroom where you only have a few feet between the toilet and the wall...


*Even Johnson says that doing the same thing out in the woods is a literal pain in the a$$!*


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## TheDudeLebowski

Faithful Wife said:


> Dude, please don’t get yourself banned or get my thread shut down. That would be a total boner killer.
> 
> Oh wait, you were talking to @EllisRedding
> 
> That makes so much more sense now.


Exactly. Its like an ego boost to the other men. They think "well at least I'm not as small as TheDude" 

The ladies know better. For them it's "well, I guess there's more there than meets the eye." Its kinda like wearing a sports bra. You know there's more there than meets the eye, so you don't mind the judgement.


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## 269370

TheDudeLebowski said:


> Would you like to see it? I prefer to show flacid pics as im a grower. So it keeps that element of surprise still on my side. That way its like "awe, look at the little fella" then they get the full show and its like "Oh, ok! Not as bad as I thought"




Here you go. Picture of my midterm erection.











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## happiness27

Faithful Wife said:


> Spawned from another thread. Lots of things to discuss about erections. I’ll be reading a long. Please don’t make this hard on me guys, just speak up. Choose your own adventure type thread, nothing is a threadjack as long as it’s about, you know.
> 
> Also! Obviously we can’t be pervs here so keep it classy.
> 
> And.....go!


Is the discussion about men's erections or women's erections?


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti

My college roommate took a course in human sexuality. He relayed the following to me after the first day of class.

To get the young folk more comfortable talking about this sticky subject, the professor had the class compile a list of all the proper and slang terms they could think of for male and female genitalia as well as sexual acts. It was a sort of icebreaking exercise as well as an opportunity for all the randy young folk to get it out of their system so they could settle down and speak intelligently.

While amassing the list of names for the fella's equipment, one young fella shouted out "Throbbing Python of Love!" to which some of the class snickered.

The young lady next to him said in her best sassy girl voice "Honey, I _know _you ain't _that _good!" to which the class erupted in hearty laughter.

Word is that fella didn't score many class participation points thereafter.


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## Faithful Wife

happiness27 said:


> Faithful Wife said:
> 
> 
> 
> Spawned from another thread. Lots of things to discuss about erections. I’ll be reading a long. Please don’t make this hard on me guys, just speak up. Choose your own adventure type thread, nothing is a threadjack as long as it’s about, you know.
> 
> Also! Obviously we can’t be pervs here so keep it classy.
> 
> And.....go!
> 
> 
> 
> Is the discussion about men's erections or women's erections?
Click to expand...

Feel free to discuss lady boners and chick wood all you want! Equality and all.


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## uhtred

Why aren't they voluntary? It seems a really serious design flaw for them not to be completely under control.


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## TheDudeLebowski

We should discuss how many women have been the dirty Sanchez


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## 269370

uhtred said:


> Why aren't they voluntary? It seems a really serious design flaw for them not to be completely under control.



They are. Under the wife’s control: the ultimate puppet master!



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## TheDudeLebowski

uhtred said:


> Why aren't they voluntary? It seems a really serious design flaw for them not to be completely under control.


That's just your body telling you to rub one out before you mess up your sheets later while sleeping.


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## Faithful Wife

TheDudeLebowski said:


> We should discuss how many women have been the dirty Sanchez


See that’s the thing, men have secret **** fantasies allllll the time and they try so hard and long to get us to do their dirty work. But it’s really only men who get turned on by **** on their faces. 

However, that means it’s win win for you and Ellis!


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## CharlieParker

inmyprime said:


> They are. Under the wife’s control: the ultimate puppet master!


At least my wife likes to think so. My blood pressure med give me ED. I usually take a Levitra, I'll only come to attention as the action starts heating up, and that's fine. 

Once I tried Viagra, within 15 minutes I got a monstrous hardon, before we got to the bedroom or even touched in any way. She was not happy about that.


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## Faithful Wife

CharlieParker said:


> inmyprime said:
> 
> 
> 
> They are. Under the wife’s control: the ultimate puppet master!
> 
> 
> 
> At least my wife likes to think so. My blood pressure med give me ED. I usually take a Levitra, I'll only come to attention as the action starts heating up, and that's fine.
> 
> Once I tried Viagra, within 15 minutes I got a monstrous hardon, before we got to the bedroom or even touched in any way. She was not happy about that.
Click to expand...

What the hell is wrong with women?

Oops....sorry I don’t mean to insult other women, I just don’t get it. It’s hard to understand. I’m coming up short over here.


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## Yeswecan

Faithful Wife said:


> Spawned from another thread. Lots of things to discuss about erections. I’ll be reading a long. Please don’t make this hard on me guys, just speak up. Choose your own adventure type thread, nothing is a threadjack as long as it’s about, you know.
> 
> Also! Obviously we can’t be pervs here so keep it classy.
> 
> And.....go!


This is a hard subject.


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## Faithful Wife

Andy1001 said:


> Faithful Wife said:
> 
> 
> 
> Damn, I’m at work. I’ll check the thread later tonight and see how long it’s gotten.
> 
> 
> 
> Did looking at your phone at work prick your conscience?
Click to expand...

No, I handle pricks all day, just used to it at this point.


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## Yeswecan

When I was a kid I had an erection set. It came with metal pieces that could be put together with nuts and bolts. There was normally a small electric motor that would operate whatever was built. Things like ferris wheels or a small car. I loved playing with my erection set.


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## Lila

Nature is cruel. Erections have an inverse relationship to life experience. Generally speaking, E.D. hits most men at an age when they have learned the art of pleasing a woman. So damn unfair to all involved. Thank goodness for modern medicine.


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## TheDudeLebowski

Faithful Wife said:


> See that’s the thing, men have secret **** fantasies allllll the time and they try so hard and long to get us to do their dirty work. But it’s really only men who get turned on by **** on their faces.
> 
> However, that means it’s win win for you and Ellis!


Idk. The two girls one cup women seemed pretty turned on. But that could have been by the paycheck. That's the thing, women have secret fantasies about the paycheck they can earn off of men's fantasies.


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## Faithful Wife

TheDudeLebowski said:


> Faithful Wife said:
> 
> 
> 
> See that’s the thing, men have secret **** fantasies allllll the time and they try so hard and long to get us to do their dirty work. But it’s really only men who get turned on by **** on their faces.
> 
> However, that means it’s win win for you and Ellis!
> 
> 
> 
> Idk. The two girls one cup women seemed pretty turned on. But that could have been by the paycheck. That's the thing, women have secret fantasies about the paycheck they can earn off of men's fantasies.
Click to expand...

No, not really. But go ahead and believe that, the industry is counting on you believing it. And have fun getting **** faced!


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## Andy1001

CharlieParker said:


> At least my wife likes to think so. My blood pressure med give me ED. I usually take a Levitra, I'll only come to attention as the action starts heating up, and that's fine.
> 
> Once I tried Viagra, within 15 minutes I got a monstrous hardon, before we got to the bedroom or even touched in any way. She was not happy about that.


Near where I live there is an old folks home.One of the staff was fired last year for putting viagra in the nighttime cocoa.
She said it stopped the old men rolling out of bed during the night.


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## Faithful Wife

Andy1001 said:


> CharlieParker said:
> 
> 
> 
> At least my wife likes to think so. My blood pressure med give me ED. I usually take a Levitra, I'll only come to attention as the action starts heating up, and that's fine.
> 
> Once I tried Viagra, within 15 minutes I got a monstrous hardon, before we got to the bedroom or even touched in any way. She was not happy about that.
> 
> 
> 
> Near where I live there is an old folks home.One of the staff was fired last year for putting viagra in the nighttime cocoa.
> She said it stopped the old men rolling out of bed during the night.
Click to expand...

Ah yes, the kickstand method.


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## TheDudeLebowski

Faithful Wife said:


> No, not really. But go ahead and believe that, the industry is counting on you believing it. And have fun getting **** faced!


I don't get **** faced, the woman does. Perhaps you need to look at what a dirty Sanchez is again. 

There's no industry behind women in their 20s dating 70 year old billionaires. Unless Gold digging is an industry. 

Besides, the erections are barely possible at that point for men in their 70s. I'm sure no playboy "model" was banging Hef because he had an amazing erection. I guess we are talking about erecting their credit scores.


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## Faithful Wife

TheDudeLebowski said:


> I don't get **** faced, the woman does. Perhaps you need to look at what a dirty Sanchez is again.
> 
> There's no industry behind women in their 20s dating 70 year old billionaires. Unless Gold digging is an industry.
> 
> Besides, the erections are barely possible at that point for men in their 70s. I'm sure no playboy "model" was banging Hef because he had an amazing erection. I guess we are talking about erecting their credit scores.


I’m insulted you think I don’t know what a dirty sanchez is. Come on, Dude.

Don’t you know that gay men also play the dirty sanchez, it’s not just for heterosexual fun.

Oh, wait.....you and Ellis already know that and are just playing coy. I get it, it’s hard to admit that you love ****. It’s ok, we are t here to judge.


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## CharlieParker

Andy1001 said:


> Near where I live there is an old folks home.One of the staff was fired last year for putting viagra in the nighttime cocoa.
> She said it stopped the old men rolling out of bed during the night.


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## 269370

TheDudeLebowski said:


> Idk. The two girls one cup women seemed pretty turned on. But that could have been by the paycheck. That's the thing, women have secret fantasies about the paycheck they can earn off of men's fantasies.



I think they were turned on by all the ice cream..


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## personofinterest

All I can do is laugh lout loud that this thread is already at 3 pages lololololol


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## Faithful Wife

personofinterest said:


> All I can do is laugh lout loud that this thread is already at 3 pages lololololol


It isn’t very nice to laugh at the most private and sensitive parts of men’s lives! :grin2:


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## personofinterest

Faithful Wife said:


> It isn’t very nice to laugh at the most private and sensitive parts of men’s lives! :grin2:


No, the topic is fine. But really...3 pages in 2 hours?

I can't talk about the topic specifically because I won't get to see my husband for 6 more hours, and that's just elf-torture


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## Faithful Wife

personofinterest said:


> No, the topic is fine. But really...3 pages in 2 hours?
> 
> I can't talk about the topic specifically because I won't get to see my husband for 6 more hours, and that's just elf-torture


Have empathy for ME! No one is going to erect anything for me in 6 hours. :crying:


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## personofinterest

Faithful Wife said:


> Have empathy for ME! No one is going to erect anything for me in 6 hours. :crying:


I've been there....boy have I


BUt can I just say that Mr. POI is worth every single moment of....nonerection that came before.

Yes, that is cheesy, and I don't care.


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## TheDudeLebowski

Faithful Wife said:


> I’m insulted you think I don’t know what a dirty sanchez is. Come on, Dude.
> 
> Don’t you know that gay men also play the dirty sanchez, it’s not just for heterosexual fun.
> 
> Oh, wait.....you and Ellis already know that and are just playing coy. I get it, it’s hard to admit that you love ****. It’s ok, we are t here to judge.


Gay "men" ... Oxymoron of the day. 

In a way, I do love the ol' ****-n-balls. **** jokes are a staple in TheDude's joke library. I actually feel bad for women. I mean, you can make a career out of **** jokes. You actually have to be cleaver and funny as a women comedian. Talking about your vgay all day only lasts a year before your career takes a nose dive unless you come up with actual good material. There's guys on tour been doing **** jokes for 30 years. Still going on strong. Unlike their tools.


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## 269370

personofinterest said:


> and that's just elf-torture



Yay, and I thought I was the only one who is into weird **** 












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## Faithful Wife

TheDudeLebowski said:


> Gay "men" ... Oxymoron of the day.
> 
> In a way, I do love the ol' ****-n-balls. **** jokes are a staple in TheDude's joke library. I actually feel bad for women. I mean, you can make a career out of **** jokes. You actually have to be cleaver and funny as a women comedian. Talking about your vgay all day only lasts a year before your career takes a nose dive unless you come up with actual good material. There's guys on tour been doing **** jokes for 30 years. Still going on strong. Unlike their tools.


I think there a gaping hole in the female comedian market, just waiting to be filled.


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## personofinterest

inmyprime said:


> Yay, and I thought I was the only one who is into weird ****
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk



OMYGOSH....SELf torture

hahahahahahahahahaha


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## Andy1001

personofinterest said:


> All I can do is laugh lout loud that this thread is already at 3 pages lololololol


It’s getting longer and longer.


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## 269370

Andy1001 said:


> It’s getting longer and longer.



As my life coach used to say: you need to first work on your own personal girth before you can ejaculate others.



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## Rocky Mountain Yeti

Faithful Wife said:


> Have empathy for ME! No one is going to erect anything for me in 6 hours. :crying:


Even as a kid, I could erect all manner of things in just a few hours....


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## Rubix Cubed

personofinterest said:


> No, the topic is fine. But really...3 pages in 2 hours?
> 
> I can't talk about the topic specifically because I won't get to see my husband for 6 more hours, and that's just* elf-torture*


Elf torture? I'm glad Christmas is over.


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## Rubix Cubed

TheDudeLebowski said:


> Gay "men" ... Oxymoron of the day.
> 
> In a way, I do love the ol' ****-n-balls. **** jokes are a staple in TheDude's joke library. I actually feel bad for women. I mean, you can make a career out of **** jokes. You actually have to be *cleaver* and funny as a women comedian. Unlike their tools.


 Lets keep cleavers out of the erection thread? Ok.


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## Rubix Cubed

Faithful Wife said:


> I think there a gaping hole in the female comedian market, just waiting to be filled.


 I'm pretty sure Kathy Griffin has that covered.


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## 269370

Rubix Cubed said:


> Lets keep cleavers out of the erection thread? Ok.



How else will she handle your meat, without a cleaver from her beaver?


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti

Rubix Cubed said:


> Lets keep cleavers out of the erection thread? Ok.


Of course. I promise

Signed,
-- Lorena Bobbitt

:surprise:


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## personofinterest

Rubix Cubed said:


> I'm pretty sure Kathy Griffin has that covered.



AAaaaand now all the erections are gone


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## Yeswecan

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> Even as a kid, I could erect all manner of things in just a few hours....


You had an erection set as well!!!


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## Yeswecan




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## Rocky Mountain Yeti

Yeswecan said:


> You had an erection set as well!!!


Right between my Lincoln _Logs _and Tinker Toys!


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## Yeswecan

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> Right between my Lincoln _Logs _and Tinker Toys!


And tiddlywinks! But I gave that all up when I found a new toy at the age of 13. Oh my....


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## Faithful Wife

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> Yeswecan said:
> 
> 
> 
> You had an erection set as well!!!
> 
> 
> 
> Right between my Lincoln _Logs _and Tinker Toys!
Click to expand...

I really love wood.


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## Rubix Cubed

personofinterest said:


> AAaaaand now all the erections are gone


 I think it was on the celebrity crush thread I stated how celebs were all makeup and camera tricks. she is the perfect example. And yes on the boner killer richter scale she rates down there with Hillary Clinton.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti

Yeswecan said:


> And tiddlywinks! But I gave that all up when I found a new toy at the age of 13. Oh my....


Yeah,
Who says 13 is an unlucky number!


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## Rubix Cubed

Faithful Wife said:


> I really love wood.


 You strike me as an Old growth Hardwoods type vs. the fast growth pines.


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## PigglyWiggly

Faithful Wife said:


> I really love wood.


Woody Woodpecker


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## TheDudeLebowski

Faithful Wife said:


> Have empathy for ME! No one is going to erect anything for me in 6 hours. :crying:


You can't tell me what I can and can't erect for you tyvm.


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## Faithful Wife

Rubix Cubed said:


> Faithful Wife said:
> 
> 
> 
> I really love wood.
> 
> 
> 
> You strike me as an Old growth Hardwoods type vs. the fast growth pines.
Click to expand...

Yes those skinny shafts don’t do as much for me as the thicker, harder woods.


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## Faithful Wife

TheDudeLebowski said:


> Faithful Wife said:
> 
> 
> 
> Have empathy for ME! No one is going to erect anything for me in 6 hours. <a href="http://talkaboutmarriage.com/images/TAMarriage_2015/smilies/tango_face_crying.png" border="0" alt="" title="Crying" ></a>
> 
> 
> 
> You can't tell me what I can and can't erect for you tyvm.
Click to expand...

Oh yeah? Even after I change my pictures to ones of Kathy Griffith? Well I can’t win either way so, I still need empathy DAMMIT.


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## Ynot

Emily Litella: What’s all this fuss I’ve been hearing about the 1976 presidential erection? Now, I know they erected a monument for Mr. Lincoln and President Washington, but that’s because they’re DEAD! Hopefully, the 1976 President won’t be DEAD! So he won’t NEED an erection! If Americans are going to spend money to erect anything, why don’t we tear down those nasty slums and erect luxury high rises for poor people and senior citizens! Not for presidents who can afford to pay for their OWN erections!


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## Faithful Wife

PigglyWiggly said:


> Faithful Wife said:
> 
> 
> 
> I really love wood.
> 
> 
> 
> Woody Woodpecker
Click to expand...

As a kid I always wondered why I wasn’t getting in trouble for watching that pecker, I always felt it was wrong somehow. But my mom told me not to worry, all girls love the Woody and to just go ahead and enjoy myself, no shame.


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## PigglyWiggly

Faithful Wife said:


> Yes those skinny shafts don’t do as much for me as the thicker, harder woods.


anyone ever called you a Sweetgum?


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## CharlieParker

M-o 
M-o-r 
M-o-r-n-i-n-g
M-o-r-n-i-n-g-w-o-o-d

Too bad they broke up.


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## TheDudeLebowski

Rubix Cubed said:


> You strike me as an Old growth Hardwoods type vs. the fast growth pines.


Yeah, she's not into conifer. Doesn't like the softwoods. She likes the hardwoods which burn long and hot.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti

CharlieParker said:


> M-o
> M-o-r
> M-o-r-n-i-n-g
> M-o-r-n-i-n-g-w-o-o-d
> 
> Too bad they broke up.
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-ORHKxaXmA


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## TheDudeLebowski

Faithful Wife said:


> Oh yeah? Even after I change my pictures to ones of Kathy Griffith? Well I can’t win either way so, I still need empathy DAMMIT.


Kathy Griffith has an ugly soul though. Its not just about looks. Besides, I picture you in front of a classic car and something starts throbbing... and I'm not talking about my heart either...


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti

TheDudeLebowski said:


> Kathy Griffith has an ugly soul though. Its not just about looks. Besides, I picture you in front of a classic car and *something starts throbbing*... and I'm not talking about my heart either...


That would be your "throbbing python of love"


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## PigglyWiggly

TheDudeLebowski said:


> Kathy Griffith has an ugly soul though. Its not just about looks. Besides, I picture you in front of a classic car and something starts throbbing... and I'm not talking about my heart either...


you are gonna end up with a head ache


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## happiness27

Yeswecan said:


> When I was a kid I had an erection set. It came with metal pieces that could be put together with nuts and bolts. There was normally a small electric motor that would operate whatever was built. Things like ferris wheels or a small car. I loved playing with my erection set.


I can totally see a kid messing up and saying erection set instead of erector set.


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## Faithful Wife

PigglyWiggly said:


> Faithful Wife said:
> 
> 
> 
> Yes those skinny shafts don’t do as much for me as the thicker, harder woods.
> 
> 
> 
> anyone ever called you a Sweetgum?
Click to expand...

Not that I can recall. Usually they say “wood nymph” but I’m not sure what they mean.


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## Faithful Wife

One of my new favorite artists.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-09_JNbLdI4


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## NobodySpecial

EllisRedding said:


> A woman can never fully understand the challenge of peeing with an erection, especially when in a small bathroom where you only have a few feet between the toilet and the wall...


I've seen it. We laughed so hard.


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## NobodySpecial

CharlieParker said:


> At least my wife likes to think so. My blood pressure med give me ED. I usually take a Levitra, I'll only come to attention as the action starts heating up, and that's fine.
> 
> Once I tried Viagra, within 15 minutes I got a monstrous hardon, before we got to the bedroom or even touched in any way. She was not happy about that.


What wasn't she happy about??


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## PigglyWiggly

NobodySpecial said:


> I've seen it. We laughed so hard.


One of you laughed while hard. 

You can only bend it so far before you crimp the hose and then no flow.


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## NobodySpecial

Faithful Wife said:


> Have empathy for ME! No one is going to erect anything for me in 6 hours. :crying:


Sympathy! You are looking for SYMPATHY!


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## PigglyWiggly

Faithful Wife said:


> One of my new favorite artists.
> 
> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-09_JNbLdI4


girl you aint right


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti

PigglyWiggly said:


> One of you laughed while hard.
> 
> You can only bend it so far before you crimp the hose and then no flow.


Do your kegels... you'll be able to force it through!


----------



## EllisRedding

OK, real talk here, not sure how to describe it. FOr those who know when they get a good pump at the gym, you just want to keep flexing your muscles, it feels good for whatever reason. Same happens when you get a solid boner (talking stronger than any metal on earth). When you get a good boner, you want to put your all into it lol. I will just lay that and keep poking my W, not that I am trying to start anything, but the pump!!!


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## Faithful Wife

PigglyWiggly said:


> Faithful Wife said:
> 
> 
> 
> One of my new favorite artists.
> 
> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-09_JNbLdI4
> 
> 
> 
> girl you aint right
Click to expand...

You must be new here.


----------



## PigglyWiggly

Faithful Wife said:


> You must be new here.


I'm as fresh as morning wood.


----------



## Faithful Wife

NobodySpecial said:


> Faithful Wife said:
> 
> 
> 
> Have empathy for ME! No one is going to erect anything for me in 6 hours. <a href="http://talkaboutmarriage.com/images/TAMarriage_2015/smilies/tango_face_crying.png" border="0" alt="" title="Crying" ></a>
> 
> 
> 
> Sympathy! You are looking for SYMPATHY!
Click to expand...

As long as it comes with a side of ****, yes please serve it up!


----------



## Faithful Wife

PigglyWiggly said:


> Faithful Wife said:
> 
> 
> 
> You must be new here.
> 
> 
> 
> I'm as fresh as morning wood.
Click to expand...

As a welcome gift, this is my actual favorite song by the same artist. You’re welcome! 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UewwWaNfYIU


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## PigglyWiggly

Faithful Wife said:


> As a welcome gift, this is my actual favorite song by the same artist. You’re welcome!
> 
> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UewwWaNfYIU


lol. This is what a Vitamin *D* deficiency does to you women.


----------



## CharlieParker

NobodySpecial said:


> What wasn't she happy about??


She wants to get me hard not the drug. The Levitra generally only kicks in with female stimulation, the Viagra not so much.


----------



## 269370

CharlieParker said:


> She wants to get me hard not the drug. The Levitra generally only kicks in with female stimulation, the Viagra not so much.



What? Viagra needs male stimulation?
Bit sexist, those drugs.
Just take the drug and don’t tell her!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## happiness27

TheDudeLebowski said:


> Idk. The two girls one cup women seemed pretty turned on. But that could have been by the paycheck. That's the thing, women have secret fantasies about the paycheck they can earn off of men's fantasies.


Women don't have to have secret fantasies about the paycheck they can earn off of men's fantasies - because women actually DO make money off of this - the strippers, the porn workers, the escorts, the hookers...they pull money out of the men who frequent them 24/7.


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## TheDudeLebowski

happiness27 said:


> Women don't have to have secret fantasies about the paycheck they can earn off of men's fantasies - because women actually DO make money off of this - the strippers, the porn workers, the escorts, the hookers...they pull money out of the men who frequent them 24/7.


Must be the patriarchy


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## Faithful Wife

Ynot said:


> Emily Litella: What’s all this fuss I’ve been hearing about the 1976 presidential erection? Now, I know they erected a monument for Mr. Lincoln and President Washington, but that’s because they’re DEAD! Hopefully, the 1976 President won’t be DEAD! So he won’t NEED an erection! If Americans are going to spend money to erect anything, why don’t we tear down those nasty slums and erect luxury high rises for poor people and senior citizens! Not for presidents who can afford to pay for their OWN erections!


He had an erection in his heart.


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## Max.HeadRoom

I have a coworker who’s last name is wood; she told me she heard all the jokes b4; 

So I Said “It’s the wood that makes it good”. 

She’d not heard that one.


----------



## TheDudeLebowski

Max.HeadRoom said:


> I have a coworker who’s last name is wood; she told me she heard all the jokes b4;
> 
> So I Said “It’s the wood that makes it good”.
> 
> She’d not heard that one.


What sort of jokes do you suppose we should make about Max Head Room? Sounds like a meundies commercial.


----------



## Faithful Wife

TheDudeLebowski said:


> Max.HeadRoom said:
> 
> 
> 
> I have a coworker who’s last name is wood; she told me she heard all the jokes b4;
> 
> So I Said “It’s the wood that makes it good”.
> 
> She’d not heard that one.
> 
> 
> 
> What sort of jokes do you suppose we should make about Max Head Room? Sounds like a meundies commercial.
Click to expand...

Oh **** Shiela, I think this one’s gonna need Max Head Room. Girrllllllll....


----------



## TheDudeLebowski

"Men, are you tired of adjusting your shaft and balls? Does your underwear lack the combination of support while offering ample room for your taint to breath freely? Tired of your ballbag sticking to your legs? The constant leg shaking, pocket pulling, high stepping, and other attempts to inconspicuously adjust your manhood?

Introducing MeUndies v2 , now with MAX HEAD SPACE! Our same moisture wicking, three times softer than cotton, micro modal fabric. Hugs your body in all the right places keeping your skin dry and the support where you need it, and not where you don't want it. Now your ballbag finally has room to really breath, your shaft to swing freely, your taint to remain sweat free! Pick up your MeUndies v2 with MAX HEAD SPACE today. Visit meundies.com/happyham-bone


----------



## Faithful Wife

TheDudeLebowski said:


> "Men, are you tired of adjusting your shaft and balls? Does your underwear lack the combination of support while offering ample room for your taint to breath freely? Tired of your ballbag sticking to your legs? The constant leg shaking, pocket pulling, high stepping, and other attempts to inconspicuously adjust your manhood?
> 
> Introducing MeUndies v2 , now with MAX HEAD SPACE! Our same moisture wicking, three times softer than cotton, micro modal fabric. Hugs your body in all the right places keeping your skin dry and the support where you need it, and not where you don't want it. Now your ballbag finally has room to really breath, your shaft to swing freely, your taint to remain sweat free! Pick up your MeUndies v2 with MAX HEAD SPACE today. Visit meundies.com/happyham-bone


These things better also be sexy and not the equivalent of granny panties.

Or else, va-clang!


----------



## ConanHub

personofinterest said:


> No, the topic is fine. But really...3 pages in 2 hours?
> 
> I can't talk about the topic specifically because I won't get to see my husband for 6 more hours, and that's just elf-torture


I suspected you had pointy ears!:wink2:


----------



## EllisRedding

ConanHub said:


> I suspected you had pointy ears!:wink2:


I am sitting here trying to imagine exactly what elf torture looks like...


----------



## Andy1001

Everybody posting on this thread needs serious psychological evaluation.
Except me.I’m fine.


----------



## 269370

.


----------



## 2&out

Lol !


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson

Seven pages in two day! 

It really touches me!

Wait, that's me 🙄🙄

A great topic!


----------



## CharlieParker

Best opening song lyric ever: "Note to self, be erect by half-past ten"


----------



## personofinterest

You know, I could go back and correct my original post, but I want to see how many terrible things can be done to Elf of a Shelf.....


----------



## Yeswecan

Faithful Wife said:


> I really love wood.


Teak. Stays hard for decades.


----------



## Yeswecan

Andy1001 said:


> Everybody posting on this thread needs serious psychological evaluation.
> Except me.I’m fine.


Don't be a hard head. No wait....


----------



## PigglyWiggly

personofinterest said:


> You know, I could go back and correct my original post, but I want to see how many terrible things can be done to Elf of a Shelf.....


If you keep torturing your elf and bust a seam, stuffing is going to cum out and go everywhere. Are you prepared to clean up that mess? >


----------



## personofinterest

PigglyWiggly said:


> If you keep torturing your elf and bust a seam, stuffing is going to cum out and go everywhere. Are you prepared to clean up that mess? >


I'm not touching this comment with a 10 inch pole.....


----------



## 269370

.


----------



## personofinterest

Wait....did you use your kids' toys and elves to make those???

I am both impressed and disturbed lololol


----------



## PigglyWiggly

inmyprime said:


> you know, i was planning to have a productive day today and instead....
> 
> 
> 
> I need to make sure i remember to put this away before wife & kids come back...
> 
> 
> Sent from my iphone using tapatalk


awesome lmfao!!!!!!


----------



## 269370

personofinterest said:


> Wait....did you use your kids' toys and elves to make those???
> 
> 
> 
> I am both impressed and disturbed lololol



Don’t worry, some are wife’s toys 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Yeswecan

DOH!


----------



## Rocky Mountain Yeti

inmyprime said:


> You know, I was planning to have a productive day today and instead....


Uhhh....
I'm definitely more comfortable with your outdoor photography... :surprise:


----------



## PigglyWiggly

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> Uhhh....
> I'm definitely more comfortable with your outdoor photography... :surprise:


don't encourage him...what if his neighbors see?????!!!! >


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson

That's hilarious!!


----------



## Young at Heart

I guess in the spirit of all the other discussion in the thread "Talk About Erections,"
please let me offer a few observations.

(1) it "beats" the alternative of not having one.

(2) They feel great up to a "point" and if they are or last "too long" can be painful for both partners.

(3) They are nice to share with your spouse who may find them full filling.

(4) They are the reward for exercise, eating right, a healthy lifestyle. etc.


----------



## Andy1001

inmyprime said:


> You know, I was planning to have a productive day today and instead....
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I need to make sure I remember to put this away before wife & kids come back...
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Is that “Divorced Barbi” She comes with Kens car,his money and by the looks of things his horse.


----------



## Faithful Wife

Andy1001 said:


> Is that “Divorced Barbi” She comes with Kens car,his money and by the looks of things his horse.


Oh come now, Barbie has ten times as much money as Ken does. She has all the fame, all the movies, all the jobs, that ***** has everything. They have a wedding every year which she pays for, obviously. He is basically Kevin Federline.

She’ll be paying him support forever. Thank god they didn’t have any kids.


----------



## Andy1001

Faithful Wife said:


> Oh come now, Barbie has ten times as much money as Ken does. She has all the fame, all the movies, all the jobs, that ***** has everything. They have a wedding every year which she pays for, obviously. He is basically Kevin Federline.
> 
> She’ll be paying him support forever. Thank god they didn’t have any kids.


My daughter won’t be two until March but one of her aunts thought it would be a good idea to buy her a Barbie at Christmas.She didn’t seem too impressed but later that week she suddenly started having great fun with Barbie.
She was throwing her for the dog to “fetch”.
We now call it “Bag lady” Barbie.


----------



## 269370

Andy1001 said:


> My daughter won’t be two until March but one of her aunts thought it would be a good idea to buy her a Barbie at Christmas.She didn’t seem too impressed but later that week she suddenly started having great fun with Barbie.
> 
> She was throwing her for the dog to “fetch”.
> 
> We now call it “Bag lady” Barbie.



Early lessons about feminism. Good parenting 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Randy2

125 responses in less than 2 days to a woman asking men to comment playfully about penises. Definitely got a rise from the boys.


----------



## PigglyWiggly

Randy2 said:


> 125 responses in less than 2 days to a woman asking men to comment playfully about penises. Definitely got a rise from the boys.


When we find a woman who wants to talk about erections and likes them, we swarm!!! :grin2: I'm waiting for the ladyboners discussion.


----------



## Andy1001

PigglyWiggly said:


> When we find a woman who wants to talk about erections and likes them, we swarm!!! :grin2: I'm waiting for the ladyboners discussion.


The problem is some women consider this oral sex.
Talking about it.


----------



## PigglyWiggly

Andy1001 said:


> The problem is some women consider this oral sex.
> Talking about it.


As long as they like it, I'm down.


----------



## Yeswecan

Randy2 said:


> 125 responses in less than 2 days to a woman asking men to comment playfully about penises. Definitely got a rise from the boys.


It is getting overinflated.


----------



## Yeswecan

Wait a darn minute. The erections are in 2020, right?


----------



## PigglyWiggly

Yeswecan said:


> Wait a darn minute. The erections are in 2020, right?


when it's laying on her nose, she doesn't need 20/20 vision to see it >


----------



## uhtred

If surgery was safe, cheap and effective, would many men get enlarged - possibly starting a penis arms race? 

Men: if you could enlarge your penis to any size you wanted by magic (don't get to change your mind later) what size would you pick?

Women: what size would you want for your partner if you had the same magic to use

Assuming we aren't penetrating too deeply into this topic.


----------



## Randy2

"Honey, as usual you're really making this harder than it needs to be. Really"


----------



## arbitrator

*Let's just say that this, for both men and women, can be an extremely hard, provocative subject to deal with! 

One that is often highly explosive! *


----------



## Faithful Wife

Andy1001 said:


> The problem is some women consider this oral sex.
> Talking about it.


Hey, be nice! Can’t help it if it’s all we have at the moment. :x


----------



## Faithful Wife

uhtred said:


> If surgery was safe, cheap and effective, would many men get enlarged - possibly starting a penis arms race?
> 
> Men: if you could enlarge your penis to any size you wanted by magic (don't get to change your mind later) what size would you pick?
> 
> Women: what size would you want for your partner if you had the same magic to use
> 
> Assuming we aren't penetrating too deeply into this topic.


I made a thread like this a couple of years ago. It was a fun one. >


----------



## aine

Talking **** all day on this thread will leave the men here drained or blue.


----------



## Pac-Man

CharlieParker said:


> She wants to get me hard not the drug.


She doesn't want you high on a hard drug?


----------



## Bibi1031

Andy1001 said:


> The problem is some women consider this oral sex.
> Talking about it.


Those are a bunch of drag queens!


----------



## CharlieParker

Bibi1031 said:


> Those are a bunch of drag queens!


Female transvestites wear “soft packs”, #showerthought are “hard packs” a thing?


----------



## Faithful Wife

CharlieParker said:


> Female transvestites wear “soft packs”, #showerthought are “hard packs” a thing?


Do you mean trans men or ...? Some lesbians also wear them

Anyway yes hard packs are a thing, they are called strap ons.


----------



## CharlieParker

Faithful Wife said:


> Do you mean trans men or ...? Some lesbians also wear them
> 
> Anyway yes hard packs are a thing, they are called strap ons.


I meant trans women. 

I am pro pegging, my wife not so much, it’s all good.


----------



## ConanHub

Trivia, I have a hard time getting an erection from a BJ.

They feel fantastic but only get me partially ready for kitty plundering.


----------

