# please help!



## nicole8125 (Nov 17, 2011)

this is my first time posting on here. question 4 the men, y do some of u not care or act like u dont care about a females feelings and some men think. a woman will alwys b there 4 them no matter what. my question is how doo u get a man to start caring n stop being selfish? and can someone please exlain the 180 degrese method? and i have been 100 percent faithful, but he keeps saying im sleeping with other men o should i say he keeps thinking i am. he doesntwant me to talk to other men which i dnt mind cuz a man who approaches u is trying 2 get something from u. when i ask him where he was he says i dont have 2 explin anything i am grown. but when he asks me a ? i answer him. if i tell him i wont do something he says u will do whatever i want u 2 do. idk what 2 do i love him so much but he is selfish and it is frustrating me! for some back ground he is 15 yrs older than me. sorry 4 the long post i hope it makes since!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Trying2figureitout (Feb 3, 2011)

nicole8125 said:


> this is my first time posting on here. question 4 the men, y do some of u not care or act like u dont care about a females feelings and some men think. a woman will alwys b there 4 them no matter what. my question is how doo u get a man to start caring n stop being selfish? and can someone please exlain the 180 degrese method? and i have been 100 percent faithful, but he keeps saying im sleeping with other men o should i say he keeps thinking i am. he doesntwant me to talk to other men which i dnt mind cuz a man who approaches u is trying 2 get something from u. when i ask him where he was he says i dont have 2 explin anything i am grown. but when he asks me a ? i answer him. if i tell him i wont do something he says u will do whatever i want u 2 do. idk what 2 do i love him so much but he is selfish and it is frustrating me! for some back ground he is 15 yrs older than me. sorry 4 the long post i hope it makes since!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


The age difference is a prime factor.. he's afraid of losing you to a younger man. He probably needs a reality check from you to change.

180 means turning the heat way down in the relationship... it is usually best suited for cases of infidelity. Not sure you want to go full bore if that is not the case.

I think you need to straight up lay it all on the line with him.... tell him your are unhappy with him and give him a list of what you need in the relationship if it is to continue on. Men like to fix things... make it clear what needs to be fixed. Stand up to him.

Reality checks work wonders in a marriage.... I had one and my wife had one... we are better because of them.

Don't be afraid to go bold on your spouse to affect change.


To answer why men act that way in the first place.... Honestly it's because we got comfortable in the marriage and did not see the damage we caused. In my case I meant no harm at all but was damaging my relationship with my wife. It takes making us uncomfortable for us to desire to change. I thank her for standing up to me as i improved myself because of it. I returned the favor two years later... now we are even


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## nicole8125 (Nov 17, 2011)

we r not married even though he has asked me. i tell him what i need he says it is his way or no way. i dont want to walk away afraid of him not coming back and scared of him finding someone else. so what would u recamend me doing?


Trying2figureitout said:


> The age difference is a prime factor.. he's afraid of losing you to a younger man. He probably needs a reality check from you to change.
> 
> 180 means turning the heat way down in the relationship... it is usually best suited for cases of infidelity. Not sure you want to go full bore if that is not the case.
> 
> ...


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

Not all men think the way you described in your OP.

If your in a relationship where he is the boss, its his way or the highway... I suggest you start the car.


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