# Tattoo



## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

Got a text today from the wife that made me stop and think God please no! ..... She has a female coworker who she has been friends with outside of work for a couple of years. They usually go walking in the afternoon few times a week, occasional girls night out, and trips to the beach during the summer.

She texted me today that they are going out Friday for a girls night out. Her friend got her excited about getting a tattoo for beach season coming up..... Now I have no tattoos and don't care to get one. She has no tattoos either and the subject has never been brought up. I also admire her natural body with no ink anywhere. But she seems excited and sent me a picture of what she picked out.... I am not really looking forward to saying please don't and ruining her excitement. If it were a body piercing, that is fine. But so many people have tattoos now, it's more exciting to see someone who has none. I also prefer to see her without any.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

I agree with you. I hate to see women especially with tattoos. Especially the ones that cover large areas. You can only ask her not to get one, but you can't force her not to.


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

girls night out = excuse to cheat

Also, agreed on tattoos.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

"Puts on long sleeve shirt and long pants"

I'm leaving this thread. 🤣🤣🤣🤣


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

I used to be against tattoos. After my boys, as adults got one, I decided to get one as well. A wooden cross.

But as for your Ws other actions, you know best.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Damn white trash !!!!!!!


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Look up and read the thread by @MiddleAgedFool whose wife started doing the married tattoo "artist". As I recall, she went totally with the guy until the AP's wife yanked his leash.

What would your wife say if you told her you will be taking her to the parlor yourself.

All of these GNO stories don't seem very marriage friendly IMO.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

I have lots of tattoos but I understand people that don't prefer them. With tattoos or without, doesn't bother me. Only thing that bothers me is the ones that look cheap


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

(slinking out the side door)

Lady here, and Beloved Buddhist and I have tats, but mostly so you can identify the body. 

I have one that is a wolf--to guard my heart after the divorce-- and the other is Tibetan letters in the shape of a heart that says "True Love". 

Beloved Buddhist has tats too: a tiger, a unicorn, and a matching "True Love" tattoo. 

We're almost 60yo...but we also do ride motorcycle so maybe we're just bad to the bone.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Rus47 said:


> Look up and read the thread by @MiddleAgedFool whose wife started doing the married tattoo "artist". As I recall, she went totally with the guy until the AP's wife yanked his leash.
> 
> What would your wife say if you told her you will be taking her to the parlor yourself.
> 
> All of these GNO stories don't seem very marriage friendly IMO.


Yeah, GNO didn't work out well for me either.


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> I also admire her natural body with no ink anywhere.


Tattoos on women is like putting a bumper sticker on a Ferrari.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> Her friend got her excited about* getting a tattoo for beach season* coming up..... Now I have no tattoos and don't care to get one. She has no tattoos either and the subject has never been brought up.


For what purpose? To attract who at the beach? Evidently it as unattractive to you. Your wife has no business adorning herself for anyone but you. She needs to drop this "friend" with the ideas more appropriate to a single female. And IMO, Girls Night Out is for single women, not married ones, unless the night out is at your house to conduct the book of the month club.

I notice she didn't ask you, but TOLD you what she was going to do. If my wife had ever pulled that stunt the answer would have been absolutely NO. Full stop.

BTW, please tell me that she isn't going to the beach in the summer without you! If she is going to the beach with this "Friend" from work without you, WHY?


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Make sure the tattoo artist can spell.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Affaircare said:


> (slinking out the side door)
> 
> Lady here, and Beloved Buddhist and I have tats, but mostly so you can identify the body.
> 
> ...


So you can identify your body????


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## theloveofmylife (Jan 5, 2021)

I would just tell her how you feel, that you already think she's beautiful/hot/sexy or w/e enough without one and you'd rather she didn't. Maybe she'll have second thoughts. 

If my husband didn't want me to get one, I wouldn't. As long as he finds me sexy, he's the only one that matters.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Is the friend single? Married?


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

the usual advice is: NO tattoos on a body part that the judge will see in court!
if you can cover it up with a shirt/suit...go for it


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> Got a text today from the wife that made me stop and think God please no! ..... She has a female coworker who she has been friends with outside of work for a couple of years. They usually go walking in the afternoon few times a week, occasional girls night out, and trips to the beach during the summer.
> 
> She texted me today that they are going out Friday for a girls night out. Her friend got her excited about getting a tattoo for beach season coming up..... Now I have no tattoos and don't care to get one. She has no tattoos either and the subject has never been brought up. I also admire her natural body with no ink anywhere. But she seems excited and sent me a picture of what she picked out.... I am not really looking forward to saying please don't and ruining her excitement. If it were a body piercing, that is fine. But so many people have tattoos now, it's more exciting to see someone who has none. I also prefer to see her without any.


Sounds like a terrible reason to get a tattoo and regret waiting to happen. 

I have nothing against tattoos... when done well. If you can walk in and get a tattoo, or even get it without waiting months or years, it's going to suck.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

i have seen some sexy tattoos on younger women. but come to think of it, i do not remember any sexy tattoos on OLDER women. I do not think the tattoo ages well.


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

I can say that with 100% certainty, she is not cheating. There are no subtle signs, no coming home plastered at 3am, no hiding phone, no dishonesty, no acting suspicious, or passworded accounts, mysterious charges to accounts/separate accounts or any mysterious phone calls. They go to a karaoke bar once every now and then and often invite me to come which I rarely do. Walks are at our local park where there is also a dog park when they bring the dogs..... She is absolutely not cheating 😃


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

Rus47 said:


> And IMO, Girls Night Out is for single women, not married ones, unless the night out is


Exactly.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

I don't have any tattoos and will never get one. It's not for me but to each their own.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> Got a text today from the wife that made me stop and think God please no! ..... She has a female coworker who she has been friends with outside of work for a couple of years. They usually go walking in the afternoon few times a week, occasional girls night out, and trips to the beach during the summer.
> 
> She texted me today that they are going out Friday for a girls night out. Her friend got her excited about getting a tattoo for beach season coming up..... Now I have no tattoos and don't care to get one. She has no tattoos either and the subject has never been brought up. I also admire her natural body with no ink anywhere. But she seems excited and sent me a picture of what she picked out.... I am not really looking forward to saying please don't and ruining her excitement. If it were a body piercing, that is fine. But so many people have tattoos now, it's more exciting to see someone who has none. I also prefer to see her without any.


I agree with you too, and you should definitely tell your wife that you do not find them at all attractive and in fact find them to be trashy looking or whatever. Just let her know because sometimes people get started and don't stop on that stuff and it cost a lot of money and it's permanent. 

To me whatever part of the body is tattooed when I was dating is the unsexy part of the body.


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## hairyhead (Oct 30, 2015)

thunderchad said:


> girls night out = excuse to cheat
> 
> .


Paranoia to the extreme FFS!


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

I don’t mind… but I can see it could be a matter of preference…


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

hairyhead said:


> Paranoia to the extreme FFS!


No kidding lol. We are married but still have friends, hobbies, and give each other space


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## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

I don't have any tattoos. I wanted one in my twenties, but I changed my mind.... And that's my issue, what if I change my mind and years later I don't like the tattoo anymore? I prefer plastic surgery, lol! 

My husband has one and I don't mind it. It depends on the tattoo. I don't like a whole sleeve on a woman's arm. I think that's too much ink. 

What kind of tattoo is she getting?


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

pastasauce79 said:


> I don't have any tattoos. I wanted one in my twenties, but I changed my mind.... And that's my issue, what if I change my mind and years later I don't like the tattoo anymore? I prefer plastic surgery, lol!
> 
> My husband has one and I don't mind it. It depends on the tattoo. I don't like a whole sleeve on a woman's arm. I think that's too much ink.
> 
> What kind of tattoo is she getting?


It's a rose in-between the milk cannons that branches out underneath each milk cannon..... She said she thinks it would decorate the newish cannons 🤣

What kind of plastic surgery did you get?


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I used to watch those bridal shows where women went to get fitted for bridal gowns, and I'm telling you, nothing looks worse than tattoos with a white bridal gown. 

The only tattoo I ever kind of liked was my old flame had fair skin and he tattooed a white bat on his wrist. It was barely noticeable.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> Got a text today from the wife that made me stop and think God please no! ..... She has a female coworker who she has been friends with outside of work for a couple of years. They usually go walking in the afternoon few times a week, occasional girls night out, and trips to the beach during the summer.
> 
> She texted me today that they are going out Friday for a girls night out. Her friend got her excited about getting a tattoo for beach season coming up..... Now I have no tattoos and don't care to get one. She has no tattoos either and the subject has never been brought up. I also admire her natural body with no ink anywhere. But she seems excited and sent me a picture of what she picked out.... I am not really looking forward to saying please don't and ruining her excitement. If it were a body piercing, that is fine. But so many people have tattoos now, it's more exciting to see someone who has none. I also prefer to see her without any.


If she gets one make sure she doesn't cheap out and she goes to a good artist. Really well done tattoos can be cool, really bad ones are horrible. And also tell her to get something unique and not cliche.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> It's a rose in-between the milk cannons that branches out underneath each milk cannon.


mmm… I like my milk cannons untouched… apart from me…😀


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Not a fan of ink personally, but I can appreciate the skill and artistry involved in some of the more complex tattoos that I’ve seen.

Occasionally Mrs. Gus will talk about a couple of different designs she’d like to have done, but she’s yet to pull the trigger. Not sure if it’s because she thinks I’d just hate it or if she’s just hesitant to do it. Honestly, as long as it was done well and didn’t turn into some kind of whole-body monstrosity, I probably wouldn’t mind.


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> newish cannons


Did you get her some upgrades? How do they look? Lift, implants, both?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

I think that tattoos are one of those things that have become common and people get them because their friends get them and so on. I admire people who go against the flow in life and dont get them even if their friends do.


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

thunderchad said:


> Did you get her some upgrades? *Hoe do they look? *Lift, implants, both?


I’m gonna assume that was a typo, but, damn is that funny!


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## cp3o (Jun 2, 2018)

Is it still possible to get temporary tattoos - hopefully a better version of the sort of thing that was around when I was pre-teen 60+ years ago.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Tattoos are a permanent reminder of a temporary feeling. It’s like drawing graffiti on the Sistine Chapel.
The person who invents a system of completely erasing them without scarring will make Jeff Bezos look like a pauper.


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

In Absentia said:


> mmm… I like my milk cannons untouched… apart from me…😀


🤜🤛


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> can say that with 100% certainty, she is not cheating.


Yet. Read the thread I referenced. Your choice your life


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> It's a rose in-between the milk cannons that branches out underneath each milk cannon..... She said she thinks it would decorate the newish cannons 🤣
> 
> What kind of plastic surgery did you get?


Going show off cannons with tattoo at the beach. The beach boys will be impressed.


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

Rus47 said:


> Yet. Read the thread I referenced. Your choice your life


Yup, there have been several “I’m 100% sure” posters, who by page three are “OMG, I can’t believe it’s true!!”

And by several, I mean lotsa.


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

thunderchad said:


> Did you get her some upgrades? How do they look? Lift, implants, both?


She had been talking about getting implants since we were dating 15 years ago. Said she has never been happy with her chest 

The doc said a lift wouldn't do much and the scars wouldn't be worth the results. I thought implants would look completely fake, but they look very natural. They also only slightly feel more firm. But she is extremely happy with them and even says she can't really feel the extra weight or implants themselves.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

So your wife is going to further enhance her "boobage" by tatting them up. And she's going to be happy showing off her tats (and tata's) at the beach. We're not talking about a rose on her ankle here. I dunno ... I wouldn't be keen on it. As far as tattoos go, I think they're fine if that's what one desires. But it sounds like your wife wants to strut her stuff for the general public's consumption.


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## seasalt (Jul 5, 2012)

Over fifty years ago I spent four years in the USNavy. Most of those years overseas and a good portion of my off duty time under the influence of something or other. If I had gotten a tattoo it would have been a fouled anchor on my right bicep. Fifty years ago they (my biceps) were 17 inches around. Now they have creepy skin and look more like pipe cleaners, if anyone still uses or remembers pipe cleaners.

My point is tattoos can be works of art and dazzling in the moment but live long enough they all get faded and distorted.

Just sayin,

Seasalt


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

I am of the mind that my body is not entirely my own, and my wife has a voice. I wouldn’t change it without her agreement, and I hope she wouldn’t either. Not because she somehow has control over me or me her, but because we have mutual respect for the other.

Like if my wife asks “Should I dye my hair red?” or if I ask “What would you think if I shave my beard?”

Mutual respect.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

This thread got me thinking about how much should a spouse take into consideration their spouse's opinion when it comes to appearance. Maybe I will create a post about it to ask...and settle somewhat of a debate between me and my husband (about something I want to change about my appearance).


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

I dunno...

I have a bunch of tattoos, I study designs and work with a guy that is a true artist, not like a lot of these newer types that are only tracers working with crap that has already been done.....Most of the crap I see is horrible, when its nicely done, its the complete opposite...It also,. sorry to say, depends on the canvas....A woman with a great body will be enhanced by some quality art, and I love inked women...

But I do wonder about the adolescent way she is approaching it...I don't even think my 19 year old daughter would do some type of "tattoos for GNO" crap...That is really kinda bush league, in my opinion, and pretty childish...Also, it then begs the question that is the intention truly for the artistic aspect, or is she doing it for some other dumb reason...Tattoos aren't something you can easily change your mind over...

One other thing....

I never engage with the rest of the insecure guys that think that any woman that decided to do something for herself is looking for some new dyck....That's nonsense....But if you are telling me she got some mid life makeover and is now doing a "tats for GNO" stuff.....eh....she could be in that type of mindset...Just saying...I dunno....


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

so_sweet said:


> This thread got me thinking about how much should a spouse take into consideration their spouse's opinion when it comes to appearance. Maybe I will create a post about it to ask...and settle somewhat of a debate between me and my husband (about something I want to change about my appearance).


I personally believe it's always a good idea to run something by your spouse. But even though you are married, that doesn't mean you own each other. If you want to do something for your looks, then do it.

I am going to express my dislike for her idea of a tattoo. But if she is determined to get it, I am nobody to say no.


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

Prodigal said:


> So your wife is going to further enhance her "boobage" by tatting them up. And she's going to be happy showing off her tats (and tata's) at the beach. We're not talking about a rose on her ankle here. I dunno ... I wouldn't be keen on it. As far as tattoos go, I think they're fine if that's what one desires. But it sounds like your wife wants to strut her stuff for the general public's consumption.


Well of course she has shown off the new twins in a bikini top on the beach, cleavage showing shirt or dress when going out..... You don't get implants to just cover them up 😂.

I am just hoping I can talk her out of a tattoo as I think it would take away from her beauty.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

I have several, some 30 years olds, some only a couple. My forearms are all in honor of my family and wife in various ways. My wife has a few small ones too.

So, obviously I'm okay with tattoos, but i would let her know that you don't really find them attractive. At the same time I would say it is her choice in the end.


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

Wait, do I have this right. She’s got a boob job and now wants a tattoo on chest to bring attention to her boobs? And she goes on GNO and beach outings with her friend? Maybe she hasn’t cheated but it sure looks like she’s doing her best to draw attention to herself. 

It is insane the number of stories that I have read of women who commit adultery shortly after getting these boob job tummy tuck combos. I have close family friend who did just that. They ended up divorcing. She’s now remarried but she went through a lot of men before marrying a guy whose way below her ex and that her kids hate. 

I say all this to let you know that you shouldn’t put your guard down. I also warned her husband too but he was so obsessed with her body that he was overlooking her ever more provocative clothing and her divorced friends that were inviting her to GNOs. Also, yes this in-law also got some tattoos shortly after the surgeries.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

I really couldn't give a crap what my wife would say to me about getting a tattoo (not that she would). She gets a tattoo, I leave her period. Her choice.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Rob_1 said:


> I really couldn't give a crap what my wife would say to me about getting a tattoo (not that she would). She gets a tattoo, I leave her period. Her choice.


A man of few words right there


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

I’m not a fan of tattoos, for me, don’t have any and no plans to get one. If I did want one I would consider my husbands opinion of course, but at the end of the day he’s not my dad and it’s my body 🤷‍♀️


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

BeyondRepair007 said:


> A man of few words right there


I grew in a era where only convicts, ruffians, prostitutes, sailors and aborigines would tattoo. 
Socially, regardless of what today's classless, crass societies think about it. I am my own man. I think for myself. One of the reasons I married my wife was because she was, and still is a classic lady. We agreed, no tattoos. My oldest is 25 neither of them have piercings or tattoos. Not allowed as long as they live in my house. If one of them were to come home tomorrow pierced/tattooed, they clearly, unequivocally understand that that's the last day living in my house.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

I am not a fan of tattoos myself. I don't really have anything against people getting them and I can appreciate the artistry of the ones that are done well, but it's just not for me. I also don't understand why someone puts bumper stickers on their car, so there are just some things I don't get. I had a belly button ring until I got pregnant, and I didn't get pregnant until 36, so I'm also not in that "expiration date" crowd either. 

I think you can for sure tell her you'd rather her think long and hard before getting a tattoo like that. It's permanent, and as others have said, you don't stay young forever. Some things age well (even some tattoos) but some don't. You're correct, you can discourage it, but it's her body and her life. I bet though that if you told her you'd rather she didn't, and told her it would mean a lot to you, she'd pass on it. I'm not advocating for manipulating her, but being honest and kind will go pretty far.

I think you have to remember this is a forum for people with marriage problems, so you're going to get a lot of "she's obviously looking to cheat" posts. It's understandable considering that many have been betrayed, but seriously, women do actually exist outside the sexual realm and not everything every woman does is about getting attention from men. Good for her for doing things for herself and feeling good about herself.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Rob_1 said:


> I grew in a era where only convicts, ruffians, prostitutes, sailors and aborigines would tattoo.
> Socially, regardless of what today's classless, crass societies think about it. I am my own man. I think for myself. One of the reasons I married my wife was because she was, and still is a classic lady. We agreed, no tattoos. My oldest is 25 neither of them have piercings or tattoos. Not allowed as long as they live in my house. If one of them were to come home tomorrow pierced/tattooed, they clearly, unequivocally understand that that's the last day living in my house.


At the heart of things, I’m much more aligned with you on this question, at least until my mid 40’s. But I softened my stance a bit when I saw the world changing and didn’t want this by itself to be a relationship-breaker if it ever came up with the kids. Fortunately, I‘ve been vocal enough to never have been challenged on it, and I married a wife who feels the same way.


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

hamadryad said:


> I dunno...
> 
> I have a bunch of tattoos, I study designs and work with a guy that is a true artist, not like a lot of these newer types that are only tracers working with crap that has already been done.....Most of the crap I see is horrible, when its nicely done, its the complete opposite...It also,. sorry to say, depends on the canvas....A woman with a great body will be enhanced by some quality art, and I love inked women...
> 
> ...


I enjoyed your post and enjoyed your open minded and realistic attitude. But I agree with you that some of the people here seem extremely insecure. I don't feel like they understand that people do change over time and that change includes clothing and looks. Change doesn't mean your spouse is cheating or leaving you. But being in denial about change along with being deeply suspicious after change can ruin your relationship. You post something simple like my wife purchased a dress and she has never worn a dress in ten years. Some immediately reply Omg omg! She is seeing someone new, you need to spy on her, get into her accounts, change the locks, and call an attorney now 😂. I also cringe at the ones who think that a wife wanting to have a night out with friends automatically means she is looking to get lucky.

I have been with my wife for 16 years now. She has always been open minded to trying new looks with clothing, makeup, and hair. She has had long brown hair, medium length blonde hair, short hair colored ruby red, and right now she has short to medium hair colored fireball red. She might wear a polkadot 50s style dress with her blue glasses on date night and singing her heart out during karaoke to a song by Alanis Morissette or jean shorts and a tank top if she wants to be super casual 🤣. She says I am who I am and I have no shame with that.

We did talk when she got home. She said she actually had been thinking about a tattoo like this for the past year on and off and it's not just something she quickly picked out. It was going to be this Friday only because her friend is finally getting a tattoo in memory of her mom and my wife didn't want to do it alone She also said I wanted it to be a surprise, but I wasn't 100% sure of your reaction and that is why I texted you rather than saying it in person. I wanted to text it and give you time to process this thought..... I told her don't get me wrong, I love your changing styles and how bold you are and I would never change that. But while this sounds contradicting, I have nothing against people getting tattooed, I would preferably like to continue seeing you without ink. She responded and said if you prefer I didn't, I won't go through with it and it's not something I am going to hold against you. She is however considering getting her upper ears pierced instead and I am completely fine with that.... I love that woman! 😂


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> She is however considering getting her upper ears pierced instead


After, please let me know how much it hurt when she did it. That is on my list of new things to try.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> I enjoyed your post and enjoyed your open minded and realistic attitude. But I agree with you that some of the people here seem extremely insecure. I don't feel like they understand that people do change over time and that change includes clothing and looks. Change doesn't mean your spouse is cheating or leaving you. But being in denial about change along with being deeply suspicious after change can ruin your relationship. You post something simple like my wife purchased a dress and she has never worn a dress in ten years. Some immediately reply Omg omg! She is seeing someone new, you need to spy on her, get into her accounts, change the locks, and call an attorney now 😂. I also cringe at the ones who think that a wife wanting to have a night out with friends automatically means she is looking to get lucky.
> 
> I have been with my wife for 16 years now. She has always been open minded to trying new looks with clothing, makeup, and hair. She has had long brown hair, medium length blonde hair, short hair colored ruby red, and right now she has short to medium hair colored fireball red. She might wear a polkadot 50s style dress with her blue glasses on date night and singing her heart out during karaoke to a song by Alanis Morissette or jean shorts and a tank top if she wants to be super casual 🤣. She says I am who I am and I have no shame with that.
> 
> We did talk when she got home. She said she actually had been thinking about a tattoo like this for the past year on and off and it's not just something she quickly picked out. It was going to be this Friday only because her friend is finally getting a tattoo in memory of her mom and my wife didn't want to do it alone She also said I wanted it to be a surprise, but I wasn't 100% sure of your reaction and that is why I texted you rather than saying it in person. I wanted to text it and give you time to process this thought..... I told her don't get me wrong, I love your changing styles and how bold you are and I would never change that. But while this sounds contradicting, I have nothing against people getting tattooed, I would preferably like to continue seeing you without ink. She responded and said if you prefer I didn't, I won't go through with it and it's not something I am going to hold against you. She is however considering getting her upper ears pierced instead and I am completely fine with that.... I love that woman! 😂


This sounds like a healthy marriage. That's great you both discussed it, and she wouldn't do it if you preferred she didn't. I think it's all about consulting one another, but if she really wanted one for years, you wouldn't stop her. 

Glad it seems to be working out.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

.


ThatDarnGuy! said:


> I enjoyed your post and enjoyed your open minded and realistic attitude. But I agree with you that some of the people here seem extremely insecure. I don't feel like they understand that people do change over time and that change includes clothing and looks. Change doesn't mean your spouse is cheating or leaving you. But being in denial about change along with being deeply suspicious after change can ruin your relationship. You post something simple like my wife purchased a dress and she has never worn a dress in ten years. Some immediately reply Omg omg! She is seeing someone new, you need to spy on her, get into her accounts, change the locks, and call an attorney now 😂. I also cringe at the ones who think that a wife wanting to have a night out with friends automatically means she is looking to get lucky.
> 
> I have been with my wife for 16 years now. She has always been open minded to trying new looks with clothing, makeup, and hair. She has had long brown hair, medium length blonde hair, short hair colored ruby red, and right now she has short to medium hair colored fireball red. She might wear a polkadot 50s style dress with her blue glasses on date night and singing her heart out during karaoke to a song by Alanis Morissette or jean shorts and a tank top if she wants to be super casual 🤣. She says I am who I am and I have no shame with that.
> 
> We did talk when she got home. She said she actually had been thinking about a tattoo like this for the past year on and off and it's not just something she quickly picked out. It was going to be this Friday only because her friend is finally getting a tattoo in memory of her mom and my wife didn't want to do it alone She also said I wanted it to be a surprise, but I wasn't 100% sure of your reaction and that is why I texted you rather than saying it in person. I wanted to text it and give you time to process this thought..... I told her don't get me wrong, I love your changing styles and how bold you are and I would never change that. But while this sounds contradicting, I have nothing against people getting tattooed, I would preferably like to continue seeing you without ink. She responded and said if you prefer I didn't, I won't go through with it and it's not something I am going to hold against you. She is however considering getting her upper ears pierced instead and I am completely fine with that.... I love that woman! 😂


Your wife sounds like a great woman and I'm happy for you that the tattoo thing worked out well for both of you! Yay!!


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> I enjoyed your post and enjoyed your open minded and realistic attitude. But I agree with you that some of the people here seem extremely insecure. I don't feel like they understand that people do change over time and that change includes clothing and looks. Change doesn't mean your spouse is cheating or leaving you. But being in denial about change along with being deeply suspicious after change can ruin your relationship. You post something simple like my wife purchased a dress and she has never worn a dress in ten years. Some immediately reply Omg omg! She is seeing someone new, you need to spy on her, get into her accounts, change the locks, and call an attorney now 😂. I also cringe at the ones who think that a wife wanting to have a night out with friends automatically means she is looking to get lucky.
> 
> I have been with my wife for 16 years now. She has always been open minded to trying new looks with clothing, makeup, and hair. She has had long brown hair, medium length blonde hair, short hair colored ruby red, and right now she has short to medium hair colored fireball red. She might wear a polkadot 50s style dress with her blue glasses on date night and singing her heart out during karaoke to a song by Alanis Morissette or jean shorts and a tank top if she wants to be super casual 🤣. She says I am who I am and I have no shame with that.
> 
> We did talk when she got home. She said she actually had been thinking about a tattoo like this for the past year on and off and it's not just something she quickly picked out. It was going to be this Friday only because her friend is finally getting a tattoo in memory of her mom and my wife didn't want to do it alone She also said I wanted it to be a surprise, but I wasn't 100% sure of your reaction and that is why I texted you rather than saying it in person. I wanted to text it and give you time to process this thought..... I told her don't get me wrong, I love your changing styles and how bold you are and I would never change that. But while this sounds contradicting, I have nothing against people getting tattooed, I would preferably like to continue seeing you without ink. She responded and said if you prefer I didn't, I won't go through with it and it's not something I am going to hold against you. She is however considering getting her upper ears pierced instead and I am completely fine with that.... I love that woman! 😂


That’s really a great outcome.

But you should really pick up a couple VARs anyway just in case  

Really, glad that worked out. Mutual respect.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

cp3o said:


> Is it still possible to get temporary tattoos - hopefully a better version of the sort of thing that was around when I was pre-teen 60+ years ago.


i read somewhere that they have a magnetic ink, that later on if you regret the tattoo, they can apply a magnetic field and the tattoo erases itself.


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## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> It's a rose in-between the milk cannons that branches out underneath each milk cannon..... She said she thinks it would decorate the newish cannons 🤣
> 
> What kind of plastic surgery did you get?


I haven't gotten any plastic surgery yet. I'm having a consultation soon for my eyelids. I won't do anything under general anesthesia, though. I'm terrified of it! 

I think your wife is fun. I wish I could change my hair style as much as your wife does. I'm kinda plain and boring in the beauty department. 

I have two extra ear piercings done by my cousin when we were teenagers. I remember I felt my ear was on fire!!!! I can't do something like that again! Lol!


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> I enjoyed your post and enjoyed your open minded and realistic attitude. But I agree with you that some of the people here seem extremely insecure. I don't feel like they understand that people do change over time and that change includes clothing and looks. Change doesn't mean your spouse is cheating or leaving you. But being in denial about change along with being deeply suspicious after change can ruin your relationship. You post something simple like my wife purchased a dress and she has never worn a dress in ten years. Some immediately reply Omg omg! She is seeing someone new, you need to spy on her, get into her accounts, change the locks, and call an attorney now 😂. I also cringe at the ones who think that a wife wanting to have a night out with friends automatically means she is looking to get lucky.
> 
> I have been with my wife for 16 years now. She has always been open minded to trying new looks with clothing, makeup, and hair. She has had long brown hair, medium length blonde hair, short hair colored ruby red, and right now she has short to medium hair colored fireball red. She might wear a polkadot 50s style dress with her blue glasses on date night and singing her heart out during karaoke to a song by Alanis Morissette or jean shorts and a tank top if she wants to be super casual 🤣. She says I am who I am and I have no shame with that.
> 
> We did talk when she got home. She said she actually had been thinking about a tattoo like this for the past year on and off and it's not just something she quickly picked out. It was going to be this Friday only because her friend is finally getting a tattoo in memory of her mom and my wife didn't want to do it alone She also said I wanted it to be a surprise, but I wasn't 100% sure of your reaction and that is why I texted you rather than saying it in person. I wanted to text it and give you time to process this thought..... I told her don't get me wrong, I love your changing styles and how bold you are and I would never change that. But while this sounds contradicting, I have nothing against people getting tattooed, I would preferably like to continue seeing you without ink. She responded and said if you prefer I didn't, I won't go through with it and it's not something I am going to hold against you. She is however considering getting her upper ears pierced instead and I am completely fine with that.... I love that woman! 😂


Honestly, It sounds to me like what you love about your wife and her personality is the same part wanting to get a tattoo. So you don't like tattoos but you like the fact your wife is the type to get a tattoo. So theres a bright side in either case.


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## AttaBoy (Sep 30, 2018)

Tattoos are a way for people to express themselves. To draw attention, make a statement, or commemorate something. If your wife hasn't given a real reason then she wants one for one of the above reasons that you would need to figure out if you are so inclined. I am guessing her self image isn't very good and she thinks ink will give it a boost. I also think you will think less of her for going through with it and that she won't care what you think about it.
If my wife wanted another tattoo I would want to figure out her real motivation.


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## Dillinger (12 mo ago)

Thanks for this enjoyable read. 
Tattoos are great. Good ones, bad ones, they all mean something. 
To go from no tattoos to a decent sized chest tattoo would be a big jump regardless of any other considerations. 
I'm the opposite of most people when it comes to reasons for getting a tattoo. I want to be reminded of how much I was into something once. They're great life road-maps.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

*Deidre* said:


> This sounds like a healthy marriage. That's great you both discussed it, and she wouldn't do it if you preferred she didn't. I think it's all about consulting one another, but if she really wanted one for years, you wouldn't stop her.
> 
> Glad it seems to be working out.


Wow! long time no see! Welcome back!


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> It's a rose in-between the milk cannons that branches out underneath each milk cannon..... She said she thinks it would decorate the newish cannons 🤣
> 
> What kind of plastic surgery did you get?


Your joking????

Sorry but that would be a huge red flag.

Hey hun, I want to call attention to my girls when I go to the beach without you.

WTF


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> Well of course she has shown off the new twins in a bikini top on the beach, cleavage showing shirt or dress when going out..... You don't get implants to just cover them up 😂.
> 
> I am just hoping I can talk her out of a tattoo as I think it would take away from her beauty.


I agree with what you said completely.

Edit for context. New info after reading through.


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## Rooster Cogburn (9 mo ago)

jsmart said:


> Wait, do I have this right. She’s got a boob job and now wants a tattoo on chest to bring attention to her boobs? And she goes on GNO and beach outings with her friend? Maybe she hasn’t cheated but it sure looks like she’s doing her best to draw attention to herself.
> 
> It is insane the number of stories that I have read of women who commit adultery shortly after getting these boob job tummy tuck combos. I have close family friend who did just that. They ended up divorcing. She’s now remarried but she went through a lot of men before marrying a guy whose way below her ex and that her kids hate.
> 
> I say all this to let you know that you shouldn’t put your guard down. I also warned her husband too but he was so obsessed with her body that he was overlooking her ever more provocative clothing and her divorced friends that were inviting her to GNOs. Also, yes this in-law also got some tattoos shortly after the surgeries.



Let the OP walk this path to the end... he will be back here in 12 months or less. Book it, Danno. 

Tattoos may be cool... but if I was going to have one on the shaft of my johnson... not sure the wife would be cool with that much less showing some chick other than her (which would have to happen by the very nature of getting a tattoo)

Might just be me though? Anyway... hard no for my wife if I were in the OP's shoes.


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## Julie's Husband (Jan 3, 2022)

If I am with a woman I want to see the sensual beauty of her skin, not graffiti. My wife has a small butterfly but I usually forget about it. 

I was not happy when the CT techs gave me three pinpoint tattoos without telling me ahead of time. They are used as locating points for laser markers for cancer treatment.


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## hairyhead (Oct 30, 2015)

A tattoo is much less dramatic than elective plastic surgery. IMHO.

Let her get on with what she wants.


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## Defhero (Jan 5, 2022)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> Got a text today from the wife that made me stop and think God please no! ..... She has a female coworker who she has been friends with outside of work for a couple of years. They usually go walking in the afternoon few times a week, occasional girls night out, and trips to the beach during the summer.
> 
> She texted me today that they are going out Friday for a girls night out. Her friend got her excited about getting a tattoo for beach season coming up..... Now I have no tattoos and don't care to get one. She has no tattoos either and the subject has never been brought up. I also admire her natural body with no ink anywhere. But she seems excited and sent me a picture of what she picked out.... I am not really looking forward to saying please don't and ruining her excitement. If it were a body piercing, that is fine. But so many people have tattoos now, it's more exciting to see someone who has none. I also prefer to see her without any.


I was told, you only put a stamp on a tramp! But, I know some beautiful women who have a lot of them....
Tattoos are not my thing, but I don't frown on the one's who strategically place them, that won't change public opinion of the person. How many people do you know who make over $100G that are tattooed down their neck and arms?


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Dear ThatDarnGuy;

Where to start. You wife is a bit of an exhibitionist. What she does with her hair, how she dresses and her tattoo all scream that she likes being the center of male attention. She is also afraid of just comfortably growing into an old lady. She may be challenging herself out of fear. If you enjoy who she is and can live with it, that is just fine.

Now let's get to the serious issues. I really suggest that you read the book by Dr. David Schnarch, the Crucible. He views marriage as the most difficult thing that two people can do, IF THEY DO MARRIAGE CORRECTLY.

Marriage, by its very nature is about managing change between two people. It is about constant emotional growth and about constant negotiations. 

At the beginning it is about two people living together as one. What toothpaste to buy and share. What foods you will eat for breakfast and dinner. When you will go to bed. What you will do with free time. How often to have sex. How you will divide the household chores. 

Later it becomes how many children you will have. How will you divide the parenting roles. How will you parent the child. What time for yourself or with your spouse will you give up to provide to your child(ren). 

These are all negotiated things, even it you don't actually negotiate them. Marriage is about change and the differences in each of your emotional development. Sometimes your spouse will develop faster than you and they will pull you forward (kicking and screaming) in your emotional development. It will hurt and be traumatic until you reach a point that you accept the new you that you have to be in your marriage. Other times you will develop faster than your spouse and will drag them kicking and screaming to a new "negotiated" (or accepted) point in their emotional development.

It sounds like your wife's friend is helping her with some of her "emotional development." There should come a point in time when that role should fall to you and not her friend.

This emotional give and take tin growth is something that will happen throughout your marriage and life. You will age and no longer be as physically strong as you once were. You will need help from others to perform certain physical things. At some point if you have children they will be grown and you will each have to change and become empty nesters. If you are lucky you will have to change your relationship to your children and become grandparents. At some point one of you will have to become a caregiver to the other and watch and support your partner die. All of these changes will put huge emotional pressure on you and your marriage. But they are part of life. You need to get use to change, as it is what life is all about.

My suggestion is to focus on the love you and your wife have for each other. Recognise she is a bit of an exhibitionist and learn to live with it and accept it. Recognize that she may be a bit immature and trying to find herself. Do things together that make each of you feel loved by the other. Talk about your future together and what the two of you want to do that will bond you even closer together. Even if you feel your marriage is just fine, you might want to schedule some time with a marriage counselor so that you can talk about your future together in marriage and the various roles you will play as your marriage developes along with her struggles to find who she views herself as.

Good luck.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

BeyondRepair007 said:


> I am of the mind that my body is not entirely my own, and my wife has a voice. I wouldn’t change it without her agreement, and I hope she wouldn’t either. Not because she somehow has control over me or me her, but because we have mutual respect for the other.
> 
> Like if my wife asks “Should I dye my hair red?” or if I ask “What would you think if I shave my beard?”
> 
> Mutual respect.


Agreed. I know Mr D wouldn't want me to have a tattoo so I never would. Thankfully I don't want one anyway.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> I enjoyed your post and enjoyed your open minded and realistic attitude. But I agree with you that some of the people here seem extremely insecure. I don't feel like they understand that people do change over time and that change includes clothing and looks. Change doesn't mean your spouse is cheating or leaving you. But being in denial about change along with being deeply suspicious after change can ruin your relationship. You post something simple like my wife purchased a dress and she has never worn a dress in ten years. Some immediately reply Omg omg! She is seeing someone new, you need to spy on her, get into her accounts, change the locks, and call an attorney now 😂. I also cringe at the ones who think that a wife wanting to have a night out with friends automatically means she is looking to get lucky.
> 
> I have been with my wife for 16 years now. She has always been open minded to trying new looks with clothing, makeup, and hair. She has had long brown hair, medium length blonde hair, short hair colored ruby red, and right now she has short to medium hair colored fireball red. She might wear a polkadot 50s style dress with her blue glasses on date night and singing her heart out during karaoke to a song by Alanis Morissette or jean shorts and a tank top if she wants to be super casual 🤣. She says I am who I am and I have no shame with that.
> 
> We did talk when she got home. She said she actually had been thinking about a tattoo like this for the past year on and off and it's not just something she quickly picked out. It was going to be this Friday only because her friend is finally getting a tattoo in memory of her mom and my wife didn't want to do it alone She also said I wanted it to be a surprise, but I wasn't 100% sure of your reaction and that is why I texted you rather than saying it in person. I wanted to text it and give you time to process this thought..... I told her don't get me wrong, I love your changing styles and how bold you are and I would never change that. But while this sounds contradicting, I have nothing against people getting tattooed, I would preferably like to continue seeing you without ink. She responded and said if you prefer I didn't, I won't go through with it and it's not something I am going to hold against you. She is however considering getting her upper ears pierced instead and I am completely fine with that.... I love that woman! 😂


Nice, that sounds like a the kind of conversation that happens in a healthy relationship.


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

Kinda surprised at all the judgment on this topic...Bear in mind, a LOT of people use tattooing to hide disfiguring skin conditions, blotching and scars, etc, and for a lot of people, its a game changer in better coping with such issues...But anyway, we don't(I hope, anyway) go into relationships and marriages to then lose our identity...The thought that you would have to have "permission" from a spouse to do something like this seems a bit off... I mean,. everyone is entitled to an opinion, but it shouldn't be something someone has control over in a relationship...


The OP seems to have a good dynamic there and if that's the way his spouse operates, then its completely in character and there would be no reason to raise any flags....I do admit that if someone at middle aged who seemed conservative then all of a sudden started to flip, it may be worth a bit more of a raised eye, but even then, people do change and its not really anything I believe that needs to be policed or forbidden....02


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## Amanhasnoname (Apr 1, 2021)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> *I am just hoping I can talk her out of a tattoo as I think it would take away from her beauty.*


I totaly agree. 
Personally I think nothing looks worse on a woman, especially around the boobage area. Leave these wonderful creations as they are...they need no improvement. 🤩


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## aaarghdub (Jul 15, 2017)

My wife got one on her shoulder before we met (gecko with sunglasses). It’s really faded and looks like a green blob. Having been in the military I’ve seen my share of good and bad tattoos. Some awesome sleeve work and a DIY tattoo of a dolphin on a guy’s waist line with an erect penis because he lost a bet. 

Personally, I don’t see the point of a tattoo you can’t see on yourself without a mirror. And I don’t see why I need my kids’ names tattooed on me unless I forgot their names. To each their own. Some is art others is because everyone else is. Are some conversation starters… sure.

My wife also went on a girls night out with her 40+ girlfriends. To cheer one friend up they went out to the tattoo place after drinks. One started getting some and they the all had to do it. She came home with a black beaded line around her ankle for $100 that was to eventually turn into a charm bracelet. 

Now I’m a leg guy and that ruined it for me and she knew my tattoo philosophy. Probably why she hasn’t finished it. I think it looks ridiculous and trashy on her and on top of that she rarely if ever socializes with that friend much anymore.


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

[


pastasauce79 said:


> I haven't gotten any plastic surgery yet. I'm having a consultation soon for my eyelids. I won't do anything under general anesthesia, though. I'm terrified of it!
> 
> I think your wife is fun. I wish I could change my hair style as much as your wife does. I'm kinda plain and boring in the beauty department.
> 
> I have two extra ear piercings done by my cousin when we were teenagers. I remember I felt my ear was on fire!!!! I can't do something like that again! Lol!


She said she wasn't always so open. She was a bit conservative in her early 20s. But she tried some new minor changes here and there and liked it. By the time we met, she was into hair color changes, different styles of clothing, etc. I have attached a picture of her before date night.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> [
> 
> 
> She said she wasn't always so open. She was a bit conservative in her early 20s. But she tried some new minor changes here and there and liked it. By the time we met, she was into hair color changes, different styles of clothing, etc. I have attached a picture of her before date night.
> ...


Your wife is gorgeous!! I love her style and that dress is amazing and I want those shoes! You're a lucky man!


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## Mybabysgotit (Jul 1, 2019)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> Got a text today from the wife that made me stop and think God please no! ..... She has a female coworker who she has been friends with outside of work for a couple of years. They usually go walking in the afternoon few times a week, occasional girls night out, and trips to the beach during the summer.
> 
> She texted me today that they are going out Friday for a girls night out. Her friend got her excited about getting a tattoo for beach season coming up..... Now I have no tattoos and don't care to get one. She has no tattoos either and the subject has never been brought up. I also admire her natural body with no ink anywhere. But she seems excited and sent me a picture of what she picked out.... I am not really looking forward to saying please don't and ruining her excitement. If it were a body piercing, that is fine. But so many people have tattoos now, it's more exciting to see someone who has none. I also prefer to see her without any.


My wife never had a tattoo. I kind of encouraged her to get one and she did eventually. It is sexy as all get out. It's right by her you know what so it's hidden but I sure do love it. Let her get it, they feel liberated when they do and another side comes out...the bad ass side and it's kind of cute.


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## Mybabysgotit (Jul 1, 2019)

Andy1001 said:


> Tattoos are a permanent reminder of a temporary feeling. It’s like drawing graffiti on the Sistine Chapel.
> The person who invents a system of completely erasing them without scarring will make Jeff Bezos look like a pauper.


hmmm, I never once regretted my tattoo's. I love them and they remind me of who I am. I seriously doubt that'll change when I'm older if it hasn't already. However, mine aren't random, they are deeply personal.


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> Got a text today from the wife that made me stop and think God please no! ..... She has a female coworker who she has been friends with outside of work for a couple of years. They usually go walking in the afternoon few times a week, occasional girls night out, and trips to the beach during the summer.
> 
> She texted me today that they are going out Friday for a girls night out. Her friend got her excited about getting a tattoo for beach season coming up..... Now I have no tattoos and don't care to get one. She has no tattoos either and the subject has never been brought up. I also admire her natural body with no ink anywhere. But she seems excited and sent me a picture of what she picked out.... I am not really looking forward to saying please don't and ruining her excitement. If it were a body piercing, that is fine. But so many people have tattoos now, it's more exciting to see someone who has none. I also prefer to see her without any.


Out of curiosity, what does she want to tattoo onto her body? Is it big/small? Because you guys haven't ever talked about tattoos, I take it that neither of you is aware of how the other feels about them? If that's the case, then she might really like them and have always thought about getting one, and you have no idea she feels this way. She also doesn't know that you hate them.

Are you allowed to express your opinion? You sure are. Is she still allowed to get one? Yeah, if she really wants to. Not all tattoos are hideous; in fact, some are really pretty. You and she could always sit down and look at the design and size together, and you could help her choose where to get it so that it stays hidden most of the time, and she can reveal it when she wants to. I have 2 tattoos: the one on my left inner forearm is black/grey and is about 4x2 inches; the one on my other wrist area is about 1.5x1.5 inches and has a little colour. I've worked with a couple coworkers for about a year now, and recently had my sleeves pulled up; neither of them knew I had tattoos even though they're on fairly visible body parts. Neither are very big, both are super tasteful and dainty and TBH, they're more for me than anyone else.


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> It's a rose in-between the milk cannons that branches out underneath each milk cannon..... She said she thinks it would decorate the newish cannons 🤣
> 
> What kind of plastic surgery did you get?


Sorry, she wants a rose branching out between her breasts? It would definitely accentuate them, that's for sure. For a first tattoo, she night want to go with something a little smaller in a spot that would be much less painful to get tattooed!


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## hinterdir (Apr 17, 2018)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> Got a text today from the wife that made me stop and think God please no! ..... She has a female coworker who she has been friends with outside of work for a couple of years. They usually go walking in the afternoon few times a week, occasional girls night out, and trips to the beach during the summer.
> 
> She texted me today that they are going out Friday for a girls night out. Her friend got her excited about getting a tattoo for beach season coming up..... Now I have no tattoos and don't care to get one. She has no tattoos either and the subject has never been brought up. I also admire her natural body with no ink anywhere. But she seems excited and sent me a picture of what she picked out.... I am not really looking forward to saying please don't and ruining her excitement. If it were a body piercing, that is fine. But so many people have tattoos now, it's more exciting to see someone who has none. I also prefer to see her without any.


Be a man. 

Have a blunt, dead serious, no BS talk with her. 
You are a married couple.....you don't just run off and permanently alter your appearance/body for life on a whim with some random buddy. (ps- girls nights are bad news.....if you quietly let your wife go out drinking and clubbing I'd say you are a fool and deserve whatever misery comes your way). 

Talk to her bluntly. If you don't like them or want her to get one state it plainly without any apologies and wussiness acting as if you have no right to an opinion on this. "MY BODY"......that is for single people. She isn't single. This should be talked about by both of you. 

Be 100% honest. Tell her how you REALLY feel about it. If you don't like them tell her bluntly. If you'll find her less attractive.....think less of her.....whatever......tell her NOW.....not AFTER. 

You are entitled to your feelings and thoughts on this. Do not let anyone shame you into shutting up and acting like you have no say. If you are against it.....don't ***** foot around, tell her. 

ps- any friend influencing your wife to go out "girls night" and get tattoos.......I PROMISE YOU is not someone you want your wife hanging around with. Some friends are good friends. Some are trouble. This sounds like trouble.


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

Mybabysgotit said:


> hmmm, I never once regretted my tattoo's. I love them and they remind me of who I am. I seriously doubt that'll change when I'm older if it hasn't already. However, mine aren't random, they are deeply personal.


Same here, both of mine have special meaning to me.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Mybabysgotit said:


> hmmm, I never once regretted my tattoo's. I love them and they remind me of who I am. I seriously doubt that'll change when I'm older if it hasn't already. However, mine aren't random, they are deeply personal.


Same here. Each one has special meaning


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

Deleted


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## hinterdir (Apr 17, 2018)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> [
> 
> 
> She said she wasn't always so open. She was a bit conservative in her early 20s. But she tried some new minor changes here and there and liked it. By the time we met, she was into hair color changes, different styles of clothing, etc. I have attached a picture of her before date night.
> ...


Nice. 

Hairstyles and color.....that can be fun. Hair always grows back and to its natural color. 

Tattoos are forever. They'll never look the same ever again and it isn't natural like aging or a scar. It is man made......ink produced in a factory inside her flesh for life. Ink inside a human's flesh is NOT natural.
Hey....temporary tattoos? Knock yourself out. Lifetime tattoos? That's something different.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

I just wrote a long paragraph about my thoughts on tattoos. Then I deleted it lol.
Very therapeutic.


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

hinterdir said:


> Be a man.
> 
> Have a blunt, dead serious, no BS talk with her.
> You are a married couple.....you don't just run off and permanently alter your appearance/body for life on a whim with some random buddy. (ps- girls nights are bad news.....if you quietly let your wife go out drinking and clubbing I'd say you are a fool and deserve whatever misery comes your way).
> ...


I am not going to talk to my wife like she is a dog 🤣


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> I am not going to talk to my wife like she is a dog 🤣


Right? It's like she's either his pet or his child. Either way, gross.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> [
> 
> 
> She said she wasn't always so open. She was a bit conservative in her early 20s. But she tried some new minor changes here and there and liked it. By the time we met, she was into hair color changes, different styles of clothing, etc. I have attached a picture of her before date night.
> ...


A lot of pictures being posted. Kind of rare occurence here.


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

It has bothered me since yesterday that I feel like I just shot her idea down without really understanding why she wanted to do this. At first, I thought this was just a stupid because everyone else is doing it moment. But she is not that kind of lady to just blindly do what everyone else is doing. So today I texted her and asked,do you want this tattoo? She replied and said I didn't realize your strong dislike for tattoos, so I won't do it. I said baby, do you yourself want it and if so, is there a meaning to it? She replied with a message below ...... But after thinking about it and knowing how much I love her personality, uniqueness, and style, I changed my mind and said do it. I now feel like it's all for the right reasons and not just some meaningless garbage midlife decision.

Below is the reply.....


I have pondered this idea off and on for give or take a year. What I wanted was a rose with two long wavy stems that featured both thorns, leaves, and a full bloomed purple flower on top. The long wavy stems represents the roads in my interesting journey of life. I wanted two stems to show that I could have taken different paths and turns throughout my life . The thorns are a representation of my struggles in life. Every woman is like a rose and every rose has it thorns. Our miscarriage, our rocky beginning in marriage, my struggles with anger and depression in my teens, and my self esteem issues in my teens are some of the struggles in my life that are a metaphorical thorn. The leaves are a symbol of my greatest accomplishments in life including my wonderful marriage, our daughter, the life we have built together, and all of my supporting friends and family that have been there for me through the best of times and the worst of times. The full blossomed purple flower symbolizes the woman I have blossomed and matured into and is a direct reflection of how happy, and secure I feel in knowing I traveled the correct path to get where I am. I chose purple because purple is the rarest of rose colors and reflects my mysterious style, my attitude, my quirky ness, and my sass. The location I chose is not a symbol of sexuality or some need for attention. It was chosen because that is where my heart is and I hold every symbolic leaf and thorn close to my heart because it has shaped me to the woman I am today.


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## hinterdir (Apr 17, 2018)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> It has bothered me since yesterday that I feel like I just shot her idea down without really understanding why she wanted to do this. At first, I thought this was just a stupid because everyone else is doing it moment. But she is not that kind of lady to just blindly do what everyone else is doing. So today I texted her and asked,do you want this tattoo? She replied and said I didn't realize your strong dislike for tattoos, so I won't do it. I said baby, do you yourself want it and if so, is there a meaning to it? She replied with a message below ...... But after thinking about it and knowing how much I love her personality, uniqueness, and style, I changed my mind and said do it. I now feel like it's all for the right reasons and not just some meaningless garbage midlife decision.
> 
> Below is the reply.....
> 
> ...


Oh...."meaning"?

It is only special if it is in her flesh.
Eye roll.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> The location I chose is not a symbol of sexuality or some need for attention.


Uh huh. Sure. Let's remember what she's getting and what she said about it... 


ThatDarnGuy! said:


> It's a rose in-between the milk cannons that branches out underneath each milk cannon..... She said she thinks it would decorate the newish cannons


The "meaning" she came up with doesn't hold up. She is purposely trying to draw attention to her breasts, with a poorly done tattoo. You already said she likes to show off the fake boobs, this is another way to do that and draw attention to them.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> It has bothered me since yesterday that I feel like I just shot her idea down without really understanding why she wanted to do this. At first, I thought this was just a stupid because everyone else is doing it moment. But she is not that kind of lady to just blindly do what everyone else is doing. So today I texted her and asked,do you want this tattoo? She replied and said I didn't realize your strong dislike for tattoos, so I won't do it. I said baby, do you yourself want it and if so, is there a meaning to it? She replied with a message below ...... But after thinking about it and knowing how much I love her personality, uniqueness, and style, I changed my mind and said do it. I now feel like it's all for the right reasons and not just some meaningless garbage midlife decision.
> 
> Below is the reply.....
> 
> ...


Love the idea for the tattoo and it's meaning, not crazy about the location. I really wouldn't care for drawing more eyes to my wife's breasts than already naturally occurs.

BTW, one of my tattoos is a red rose and the stem is the latitude and longitude of the exact location I met my wife. But it isn't in my cleavage, lol.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> A lot of pictures being posted. Kind of rare occurence here.


I was pleasantly surprised to jump in and see a photo of OP’s wife, expressing the rock-abilly type style.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

pastasauce79 said:


> I don't have any tattoos. I wanted one in my twenties, but I changed my mind.... And that's my issue, what if I change my mind and years later I don't like the tattoo anymore?


I feel similarly. No tattoos here. Was tempted when Batman got his but he had a definite vision and meaningful design in mind for himself, whereas I wasn’t so committed to my passing idea and had commitment phobia about it.

Heck, I couldn’t even commit to getting a second ear-piercing when a guy I was dating suggested we get one together; intended as a romantic thing, and I backed out. Some friends have more than one ear piercing and/or tattoos; each to their own but I’m glad I stuck with just the standard one pair of ear piercings and no tattoos. Oh wot a bore 😛


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

happyhusband0005 said:


> If she gets one make sure she doesn't cheap out and she goes to a good artist. Really well done tattoos can be cool, really bad ones are horrible. And also tell her to get something unique and not cliche.


The tattoo artist my husband went to was quality. Whereas I have a friend with a bad, as in seriously bad, tattoo that she regrets. And so, I agree with you.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Really each to their own with this kind of thing. One passing idea of ‘meaning’ that I considered, and unwilling to commit to, and hence no tattoos …plus ya know pain and all that… although Batman found it relaxing getting his done, yet he’s also relaxed in a dental chair so whatever… anyway, instead I periodically look for artwork to hang on the wall in our home instead, that would represent that same meaning to me in a visual way that’s not in a form of a tattoo. I haven’t found that specific piece yet, but know that I will.

OP keep us updated.


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## David60525 (Oct 5, 2021)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> Got a text today from the wife that made me stop and think God please no! ..... She has a female coworker who she has been friends with outside of work for a couple of years. They usually go walking in the afternoon few times a week, occasional girls night out, and trips to the beach during the summer.
> 
> She texted me today that they are going out Friday for a girls night out. Her friend got her excited about getting a tattoo for beach season coming up..... Now I have no tattoos and don't care to get one. She has no tattoos either and the subject has never been brought up. I also admire her natural body with no ink anywhere. But she seems excited and sent me a picture of what she picked out.... I am not really looking forward to saying please don't and ruining her excitement. If it were a body piercing, that is fine. But so many people have tattoos now, it's more exciting to see someone who has none. I also prefer to see her without any.


Deal breaker no tattoos, no infidelity.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

David60525 said:


> Deal breaker no tattoos, no infidelity.


Lol, I know we can all have our own boundaries/deal breakers, but I find it funny that tattoos and infidelity are given parity here. What about an emotional tattoo vs a physical tattoo


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Had to remove. Wasn't sensitive or on topic.


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

TexasMom1216 said:


> If you write on your arm with a Sharpie, is that like a one night stand?


I about choked on the Skittles I was eating 🤣🤣🤣🤣. You about killed me woman! 🤣


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

TexasMom1216 said:


> If you write on your arm with a Sharpie, is that like a one night stand?


Yes


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Lol, I know we can all have our own boundaries/deal breakers, but I find it funny that tattoos and infidelity are given parity here. What about an emotional tattoo vs a physical tattoo


Emotional tattoos are just like emotional affairs, they're not really tattoos at all. 😉


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

She went with her friend last night and decided not to do it. She watched her friend get a tattoo on the ankle and said her friend was almost in tears.

She told the lady what she had in mind and was told it would take a while and it would be a bit painful. My wife said it would be nice but she doesn't want to go through pain like that 😂.


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## Dillinger (12 mo ago)

I usually get tattoos for the pain. When life gets stressful, getting a tattoo is a great way to shift focus. She probably made the right choice, as a first tattoo, that would be painful.


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

Dillinger said:


> I usually get tattoos for the pain. When life gets stressful, getting a tattoo is a great way to shift focus. She probably made the right choice, as a first tattoo, that would be painful.


I hear ya! Don't get me wrong, I know I sounded like I was completely against tattoos. But I am not. I just falsely assumed she wanted one as some kind of midlife crisis or to fit in with a friend. But not only was I wrong, I was dead wrong! Her reasoning for one was beautiful in my mind..... I love her so much!


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## seasalt (Jul 5, 2012)

I sincerely hope you asked for her permission to post her image for strangers to see.

Just sayin,

Seasalt


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

seasalt said:


> I sincerely hope you asked for her permission to post her image for strangers to see.
> 
> Just sayin,
> 
> Seasalt


She rolled up a newspaper and whacked me over the head yelling bad husband! 😂

She is often on this forum with me and she picked the picture to post.


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## Julie's Husband (Jan 3, 2022)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> She rolled up a newspaper and whacked me over the head yelling bad husband! 😂
> 
> She is often on this forum with me and she picked the picture to post.


Yeah. I don't get to pick the photos of my wife that will be posted, either.


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## Ricks (Apr 14, 2021)

I Love women with tattoos! I find a lot of them sexier. Some not so much... It all depends on what and where I guess. 

Here's my newest one,


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## Ladyrare (Aug 30, 2021)

TexasMom1216 said:


> If you write on your arm with a Sharpie, is that like a one night stand?


You got me!


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Ladyrare said:


> You got me!


It's not funny, it was offensive. Sorry.


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## Ladyrare (Aug 30, 2021)

TexasMom1216 said:


> It's not funny, it was offensive. Sorry.


Sorry about that. My bad!


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Ladyrare said:


> Sorry about that. My bad!


Not your fault at all.


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## JaimeDaugherty (1 mo ago)

It sounds like you are in a bit of a difficult situation. While it is understandable that you don't want her to get a tattoo, it seems as though she is really excited about it. I think it's important to respect her wishes and let her make her own decision - after all, it's her body. Understandably, you would prefer her to stay tattoo-free, but it's important to remember that it is ultimately her choice. You could suggest minimalistic Iranian Tattoos as an alternative to full-body tattoos, and I think it's a great idea! Not only are they smaller and more subtle, but they also come with a lot of cultural and historical significance.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

Meow


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Deleted


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Zombie tattoo


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

AttaBoy said:


> Tattoos are a way for people to express themselves. To draw attention, make a statement, or commemorate something. If your wife hasn't given a real reason then she wants one for one of the above reasons that you would need to figure out if you are so inclined. I am guessing her self image isn't very good and she thinks ink will give it a boost. I also think you will think less of her for going through with it and that she won't care what you think about it.
> If my wife wanted another tattoo I would want to figure out her real motivation.


My sister got a tattoo to of a rose bush/vine thing. Runs from knee up to above the hip, covering the outside of her thigh/buttocks. No telling how many hours and the cost. She cared less what her hubby wanted, hell it commemorated her screwing around on him for 2.5 yrs and then ODing on meds after her F Buddy left because she would not leave her hubby. Way to go sis! 

She said she could not leave because my kids love their uncle so much. Really! We would remain in contact with him, I consider him a brother, sister though, she can go to hell.


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

Its astounding how people think its right to dictate what an adult person decides to do with their body...It really doesn't matter what it is, at the end of the day, people should be more tolerant, and less judgmental when it comes to this kind of stuff...No one wants to be in a relationship to be controlled by someone else..

Its obviously fair to have an opinion, negative or otherwise, but to disown someone over this? crazy if you ask me...Its also fair to question a motive, if its felt that it wasn't something someone was doing because they actually thought it out thoroughly and decided to do it, then one should counsel the other about it and voice their concerns.....

Tattoos aren't anything new, even though it feels that way...Even that guy they found frozen in the Alps who was determined to be over 5000 years old, had tattoos...

People use tattoos successfully to deal with disfiguring scars, skin disorders like vitiligo, and a whole host of other things that generally bother people..Or sometimes its done to just express someone's originality... This line of thinking where it always has to come from a place of negativity is wrong...People can do just about anything in life and have negative reasons for doing it, so I don't know why this should be any different... It doesn't matter if one person says they think not having any is ok, it matters to the person on the receiving end...


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

hamadryad said:


> ItsPeople use tattoos successfully to deal with disfiguring scars, skin disorders like vitiligo, and a whole host of other things that generally bother people..


A good friend of my wife had breast cancer that end in a complete mastectomy. During that time we looked up a couple of the tats ladies had done as cover ups. Some of the work was incredible and a lot of stories of the artists telling the ladies it was on the house.

Yes … I know I’m contributing to a zombie thread 😇


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## gameopoly5 (5 mo ago)

True story:
My maternal grandfather was a British soldier in the first world war, he was 18 years old at the time.
He had a girlfriend and was in love with a girl named Sue.
While stationed in Belgium he was under peer pressure to get a tattoo that was done by one of the other soldiers.
So he had a heart shape tattooed on his right forearm with the word, Sue, inside the heart.
When the war was over and granddad returned home his girlfriend Sue had met another guy and was no longer my grandad`s girlfriend.
Later in 1923 he met a girl who was to become my grandmother and her name was, Rose.
I used to joke with him and say, is it possible Nan could change her name to, Sue.
I can remember my granddad hated that tattoo for the rest of his life and why he always wore long sleeved shirts.


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## ArthurGPym (Jun 28, 2021)

Find out how much the tat will cost and tell her to have at it. Then go buy yourself a really cool man-gift for the same amount.


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

ArthurGPym said:


> Find out how much the tat will cost and tell her to have at it. Then go buy yourself a really cool man-gift for the same amount.


Yeah,,,go visit a strip club and have a party.....When she questions it, just tell her you were doing a "tit for tat"... 😂


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## ArthurGPym (Jun 28, 2021)

hamadryad said:


> Yeah,,,go visit a strip club and have a party.....When she questions it, just tell her you were doing a "tit for tat"... 😂


Or a big-ass new TV.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

hamadryad said:


> Its astounding how people think its right to dictate what an adult person decides to do with their body...It really doesn't matter what it is, at the end of the day, people should be more tolerant, and less judgmental when it comes to this kind of stuff...No one wants to be in a relationship to be controlled by someone else..


Know of one girl that was asking for help on a situation. She had I think a small tat on her ankle. In secrete got a fairly large tat on her upper chest of something her hubby might like and was gonna surprise him. She came home and if I remember right, she kept her top on.

They were getting frisky with her straddle him and she took off her shirt. He stopped cold turkey very upset and shut down. He could not touch her. He remained very emotionally upset and could not be around her, finally divorced.

She found out he was a foster child that had been sexually abused for years by a couple with a lot of tats and he could not deal with her new tat covering her chest.

That is just it, with any kind of body modifications, one has to be prepared for the consequences that come with it, whether from SO, family or public.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Divinely Favored said:


> Know of one girl that was asking for help on a situation. She had I think a small tat on her ankle. In secrete got a fairly large tat on her upper chest of something her hubby might like and was gonna surprise him. She came home and if I remember right, she kept her top on.
> 
> They were getting frisky with her straddle him and she took off her shirt. He stopped cold turkey very upset and shut down. He could not touch her. He remained very emotionally upset and could not be around her, finally divorced.
> 
> She found out he was a foster child that had been sexually abused for years by a couple with a lot of tats and he could not deal with her new tat covering her chest.


That was an idiot move. I agree with @hamadryad that you shouldn't be controlling, but in a committed relationship you better be discussing something as major as body modifications before you do them.

Neither my wife or I have a problem with tattoos, we both have some, but we would never surprise the other with a new tattoo.


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## Corgi Mum (10 mo ago)

Talker67 said:


> the usual advice is: NO tattoos on a body part that the judge will see in court!
> if you can cover it up with a shirt/suit...go for it


Decent advice. I spend a lot of time in court for work and all of mine can be covered easily.


Talker67 said:


> i have seen some sexy tattoos on younger women. but come to think of it, i do not remember any sexy tattoos on OLDER women. I do not think the tattoo ages well.


I wasn't sexy as a younger woman (no tattoos til age 40) so it makes absolutely no difference that I have them now as an older woman. My original artist said to keep them out of movement areas like joints which is advice that I've followed for all of them.

So clearly I'm in favour of the OP's wife getting one


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> So you can identify your body????


Only in the daytime!


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