# Examples of the cheater's Script in this thread A resource.



## MattMatt

Since starting my time at TAM I have learned a great deal about the Cheater's Script.

It seems that almost everyone who has an affair be they a doctor, a lawyer, a mechanic or a secretary, follows, by-and-large, the Cheater's Script.

This morning on the way to work, I had an idea for a thread which would collect all the Cheater's Script nonsense that cheaters seem to follow.

I'll start of with a few, please add your own. Hopefully this thread will become a useful resource.

I love you, but I'm no longer in love with you.

Claims that the marriage has been "bad" for x number of months/years, though said nothing about this alleged problem beforehand.

And now it's your turn to add some examples culled from the Cheater's Script!


----------



## Vega

"(S)He's just a friend"

"It just happened"


Vega


----------



## Cubby

Mentioning the Other Man (or Other Woman) quite often (before the affair is in full swing) then suddenly no mention at all. (Once they're actually 'in' the affair)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## verpin zal

This is, by far, my favorite. Just search it, and I'm quite certain you'll find plenty..

Upon confrontation: "...and she said "I don't love him. In fact I never did and I hate him now"."

The word "NOW" there sums up the WS' stupidness pretty accurately.

(those who'll yell "sexist" may change "him" with "her".)


----------



## verpin zal

"We just kissed."

Pressure + : "Ok, there may have been some handplay."

Pressure ++: "He fingered me." / "She grabbed my yangdoodle. But stopped immediately, we both realized it was getting real." 

First cracks on the wall: "There was oral."

"IT only happened once."

"Well not maybe once, but I don't remember, and I don't want to."


----------



## verpin zal

"I had severe childhood problems. So instead of seeking help or communicating with you or anybody else, I decided that it was OK to fvck your life up as well."


----------



## Racer

Certain patterns when caught:

Immediate denial, blameshifting, and claims of innocence even with overwhelming proof as long as you didn’t walk in on the act... even then.. They are often also accusatory toward you with maybe you are having an affair, or are controlling or paranoid and jealous. Privacy suddenly becomes a really big deal to them. They will put on YOU the defensive. This is called deflection.

There is almost an immediate purge of anything they think might incriminate starting with emails and text messages. They also quickly password everything if they haven’t already. 

There is also usually a contact made with the OP within hours of the confrontation to warn them. Watch for that.

Basically, have your ducks in a row and monitoring in place BEFORE you confront. Once they know they are watched, it becomes much, much harder to catch them or install anything and records disappear.


----------



## Philat

"It has nothing to do with you."


----------



## verpin zal

I've been wanting to mention this to my fellow TAM folks, but I always felt like I was gonna threadjack or whatever - Matt's thread seems like a suitable place:

"I was raped way back when."

Not only on here and from several people around me, I had heard this right after I learned that my girlfriend of 2 years was cheating on me with numerous guys (and women).

Now, the way I see it, one who got raped either goes into shock and shows tendency to hate menfolk altogether, or seeks help and tries to recover eventually. The way I see it, one who claims of rape doesn't turn into a promiscuous harlot, unless it's a very new level of lame excuse, made up with the shock of getting suddenly busted while cheating.

Now, my point is, does this "rape" phenomena have some scientific and physocologic basis? I haven't been able to find any reliable articles on this one, if anyone can point me to a "this is the one you should read" place, it'd be really appreciated.


----------



## hookares

I heard: "You're stupid to think I would be willing just to settle for you."
She was right.


----------



## treyvion

hookares said:


> I heard: "You're stupid to think I would be willing just to settle for you."
> She was right.


How early did you hear this until you where willing to release?


----------



## MattMatt

verpin zal said:


> I've been wanting to mention this to my fellow TAM folks, but I always felt like I was gonna threadjack or whatever - Matt's thread seems like a suitable place:
> 
> "I was raped way back when."
> 
> Not only on here and from several people around me, I had heard this right after I learned that my girlfriend of 2 years was cheating on me with numerous guys (and women).
> 
> Now, the way I see it, one who got raped either goes into shock and shows tendency to hate menfolk altogether, or seeks help and tries to recover eventually. The way I see it, one who claims of rape doesn't turn into a promiscuous harlot, unless it's a very new level of lame excuse, made up with the shock of getting suddenly busted while cheating.
> 
> Now, my point is, does this "rape" phenomena have some scientific and physocologic basis? I haven't been able to find any reliable articles on this one, if anyone can point me to a "this is the one you should read" place, it'd be really appreciated.


Morituri who is a member has mentioned his ex-wife's rape as a very young girl as a playing a cause in her infidelity.

Here is a link to this subject
https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/is-this-ptsd-sexual-infidelities-raped-and-sexually-molested.544/


----------



## verpin zal

"They have some marital problems and I'm helping them out."
"He just got a divorce and he needs help."
"His wife has been cheating on him for x years. Can you believe that?"


"Why can't I have [plural opposite sex] as *friends*? I fail to see anything wrong with that."

"I was being selfish and stupid."

"Don't worry, it's over now." (my good sir with caught text on the kitchen, with that tattooed car repair guys' friend and the wife crying curled up on the floor on confrontation day. Too drunk to remember your username but even I have triggers by that "Don't worry, it's over *NOW*" speech. Can only speculate about what you've gone through.)

(As a sidenote - those who possess incredible photographic memory like me, are bound to experience their triggers as blasts and double blasts. Even after so many years.)


----------



## F-102

I always liked the re-writing of marital history.

The spouse whom the WS promised to "love, honor and cherish" is suddenly not worth the effort.

All of those endearing qualities that made the WS fall in love with the BS are now immature, annoying and repulsive.

The WS suddenly realizes, after so many years together, that they never really loved the BS. It only took you so many years to realize that?

When the BS may have said no, disagreed or had their own opinion, they are now "selfish, controlling and abusive".

If the BS may have spent money on something for themselves or frivolous in the past, they are now "financially immature and irresponsible".

If a BS didn't agree with one of the WS's family members in the past, or never really warmed up to one of the WS's friends, and told the WS about it, then they were trying to "isolate" the WS. 

If the BS was content in their job and not really actively pursuing a promotion or raise, then they "lacked ambition" and was therefore a "loser".

If the BS liked to have a drink or a beer every now and then, suddenly they were a "raging alcoholic".

If the BS was lenient with raising the children, let the kids play outside alone or they happened to scrape their knees when the WS was not home, then they are "horrible, neglectful parents".

If the WS had a dream or was considering a career change in the past, and the BS talked them out of it for a good, legitimate reason, then they were "standing in their way" and "holding them back".


There are many more, but I can't think of any now.


----------



## SaltInWound

It was just a joke.
I swear on the lives of my children/mom/dad
How dare you invade my privacy
You are twisting my words


----------



## hookares

treyvion said:


> How early did you hear this until you where willing to release?


I heard it for the first time when she handed me the divorce papers and had me locked out of the home by the cops.


----------



## verpin zal

"One thing led to another." (is there an emoticon for vomiting?)


----------



## MattMatt

verpin zal said:


> "One thing led to another." (is there an emoticon for vomiting?)


It's funny you should mention that!


----------



## Shoto1984

Amazing how many of these I've heard first hand.... 

In the blame shifting category... "if you had been a better husband it wouldn't have happened" ie its your fault

" I needed someone to talk to.." ie You don't listen to me, I can't talk to you etc thus its still your fault

"I don't have a life!" ie You should have been providing for my daily entertainment while you were away at work etc thus its still your fault

"I'm so unhappy!" ie it was your job to make me happy and you didn't etc thus its still your fault


----------



## calvin

hookares said:


> I heard: "You're stupid to think I would be willing just to settle for you."
> She was right.


Ouch!!!.
Incredible.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SaltInWound

I have a business meeting
I had to pull cash to pay for something work related and will be reimbursed.
I didn't hear the phone ring
The battery died
The reception was bad
All the women at work are old, ugly, and married
I had to work late
The guys from work want to go out to dinner and discuss work


Beware of excuses that repeat or the same person used as an alibi.
Beware constant mention of a specific person's name, then suddenly no more mention of it.


----------



## calvin

I got the ILYBNLWY thing,let's be friends,you can come over work around the house
and see the kids for a little while,we have a father daughter relationship,(that one hurt bad )
You love the person you want me to be,let's date other people.
Finding hm was like finding a brother I have'nt seen in years,your being controlling,let's date
other people,you need to sleep in the spare room (I did for two months)
You're paranoid,you're delusional.
When I cried I was told I wasn't manly,don't touch me (I didn't for four months)
I didn't want to believe at all she was in a affar,even when I saw the soft eveidence on her phone.
At MC she stood firm on me leaving the house ( I would not do it )
I don't know who inhabited my wifes body then but after 20 months of R
We are doing really good,we barely...I barely made it....no we.
We did make it though and I'm pretty happy
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## arbitrator

verpin zal said:


> "We just kissed."
> 
> Pressure + : "Ok, there may have been some handplay."
> 
> Pressure ++: "He fingered me." / "She grabbed my yangdoodle. But stopped immediately, we both realized it was getting real."
> 
> First cracks on the wall: "There was oral."
> 
> "IT only happened once."
> 
> "Well not maybe once, but I don't remember, and I don't want to."


*The truthful epilogue to each of the six cheaters excuses listed above:

WE ONLY SCREWED EACH OTHERS BRAINS OUT!*


----------



## verpin zal

"You, you, you, you, you."
"Me, me, me, me. Me too."

"Us" becomes the abbreviation of a country.


----------



## SaltInWound

Beware continual comments about a friend/coworker's marital problems and what that person has said they would like to do as far as separation and divorce. My stbxh worked with a man and he and his wife were mutual friends of ours. Their marriage not the best and they did not keep it a secret. I suppose he was telling my husband things he wished he could do, such as throw her out or once the youngest child reached adulthood, divorce her. She would tell me their marriage was not good and also spoke of possible divorce. 10 years later they are still at it. My stbxh spoke of his friend's desire often. I felt it wasn't right to discuss other people's marital problems. Considering we had never spoken of separation or divorce, imagine my shock when our son reached adulthood and my husband left me homeless and holds our stuff hostage and went dark on me. I guess all those years he was projecting.


----------



## Oldrandwisr

He did it for us! 

Here's what he said when confronted with evidence: "I wanted to see if it would improve our sex life (and it didn't work). OK, we've talked about it. No need to ever bring it up again."


----------



## arbitrator

SaltInWound said:


> Beware continual comments about a friend/coworker's marital problems and what that person has said they would like to do as far as separation and divorce. My stbxh worked with a man and he and his wife were mutual friends of ours. Their marriage not the best and they did not keep it a secret. I suppose he was telling my husband things he wished he could do, such as throw her out or once the youngest child reached adulthood, divorce her. She would tell me their marriage was not good and also spoke of possible divorce. 10 years later they are still at it. My stbxh spoke of his friend's desire often. I felt it wasn't right to discuss other people's marital problems. Considering we had never spoken of separation or divorce, imagine my shock when our son reached adulthood and my husband left me homeless and holds our stuff hostage and went dark on me. I guess all those years he was projecting.


* I know all about abandonment, Salt! I'm so very sorry to hear about your plight!*


----------



## verpin zal

"The GNO and alcohol got out of hand and since I wasn't allowed to drive, I slept at his place. Big deal!"

*G*NO and *his* place. Of course.


----------



## confusedFather

Don't forget about the trickle truth. 

If you're new here you need to understand the upon confrontation only part of the truth will come out. As you keep up the pressure and ask questions a little more comes out. Maintaining a lie is very hard for a normal person to do. Most likely they will omit telling you everything you ask. 

This will destroy your ability to trust anything you hear. You need to make sure WS knows they must come clean if there is to be any chance of reconciliation.


----------



## SaltInWound

arbitrator said:


> * I know all about abandonment, Salt! I'm so very sorry to hear about your plight!*


Thanks.  Plight is an understatement. It is a nightmare. I will have to read your story.


----------



## stuck on hold

There's nothing you could have done better. Your beautiful inside and out. You couldn't have done anything different because it's me.... I am the one with the problem ....( in other words, it's not you it's me)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Headspin

"Don't be ridiculous - he's not even my type"!

(this was a proven guarantee that she was attracted to whoever it was directed at) 

"I never had my wild 20's!"

Alarms went off correctly and proven every single time she said 
"Actually I think he could be gay"

"It was just a kiss"


----------



## AngryandUsed

We (meaning you and me) have grown apart.
We (meaning you and me) have lack of intimacy.
He/She was there for me.


----------



## verpin zal

Oh, how did I forget this -

Confronted suddenly, out of the blue, while speaking this and that..

"Where did you hear that? Who told you?!"

Right.


----------



## Thorburn

I am at Walmart.

We only kissed.

"We had Sex!!!!" and the rest of times we met we sat on a wall and talked about how bad we felt.

You were depressed.

You looked at porn.

You weren't there when my mother died.

I am not seeing anyone. 

You are crazy, do I need to take you to a hospital and have you committed.

The bed in the back of the SUV is for the dog.

I am out buying white christmas lights. She said this four times. and we bought white christmas lights earlier in the year.

I need space.

You are controlling.

I am out with my GF's (she had none locally).

I love you.

At least I am a heterosexual.


----------



## verpin zal

Thorburn said:


> At least I am a heterosexual.


That's.. well. That's. (I couldn't find a word.)


----------



## convert

I got from my wife "it was just sex. It didn't mean anything".....


----------



## arbitrator

*"Time to go back out of town on business for a few days."

"Don't call me. I'll be in meetings. Let me call you!"

"Sorry, something came up(likely her BF's appendage). I've got to stay over an extra night. Just take care of the ranch chores for me!"

Then upon returning home one morning, two hours later, left to go back, saying, "Sorry honey, but they're needing me back down there! Will see you tomorrow afternoon and I'll make it up to you then. Thanks for being so sweet!"*


----------



## russell28

"I thought you didn't love me anymore..."
(imagine what I thought, since I was the one not getting any affection or attention, and the one always saying I love you, never saying I love you too... I was wearing my wedding ring..)

"You were controlling"
(so controlling I had no idea you were cheating for half a decade)

"You never took me anywhere"
(dinner twice a week, movies, disney twice, universal studios twice, cape cod, boston, maine, too many trips to list... always get rooms on the ocean, rooms with jacuzzi's if no kids... used to drive by motels and say 'want to get a room for the afternoon' and would hear 'we can't afford it'... I guess she meant I never took her to her boyfriends apartment and dropped her off)

"He was a friend"
(do all your friends help you lie and cheat to destroy your family and abuse your husband? Nice friend.. glad I don't have any friends like that)


----------



## russell28

convert said:


> I got from my wife "it was just sex. It didn't mean anything".....


Love that one.. basically, says "I'll spread my legs for anyone.. all these years with you, it was nothing special..." I guess if you had time to come up with a response.. the good one for this would be:

"You really should have told me that sex didn't mean anything to you before I married you.. all these years I stupidly thought it was something special, not meaningless... thanks for pointing out to me how it's not really all that important, and I suppose now that I think about it.. you're not exactly a porn star in the bedroom, perhaps you should care more about it..."


----------



## verpin zal

"I thought you had cheated on me back when and while and then and there and and and"


----------



## Foghorn

"Don't call the hotel phone, it's too expensive. I'll call you on the phone when I get breaks, very busy meeting."


----------



## mamabear131617

"It was just a joke. It was only harmless smack talking. We were just bored. There were no actual intentions to do anything. I put that on the kids."
"I told you I like it when you talk to me while I'm at work. I get bored."

My Wh's explanations for sexting a co-worker.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## mamabear131617

SaltInWound said:


> It was just a joke.
> I swear on the lives of my children/mom/dad
> How dare you invade my privacy
> You are twisting my words


My Wh has said 3 out of 4. He actually offers his privacy but I often wonder if that's only to shut me up or distract me from something else.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## 86857

_DRUM ROLL. . . And the three winners in our cheater's script are:_
IDK. . . I don't know.
ICR. . . I can't remember. 
INS. . . I'm not sure.

(_For the newbies and if I may say so, a prize-winning example of Trickle Truth. . ._)
No, she was NOT at our apartment.
(_Weeks later_) She _might_ have been at our apt.
(_Months later_) I think she was at our apartment. I'm really not sure.
(_More months later. . . Wait for it. . . _) 
I remember now - she was at our apartment because the cat hissed at her. :rofl::rofl::rofl: 
(_Sheesh! Wish I was as smart as the cat.:scratchhead:_)

(_And in no particular order. . . _)
You know everything now. 
We just kissed. 
She wasn't even a friend.
We just talked. 
There is nothing more to tell. 
Of course she didn't flirt with me. 
She was talking about how she wanted to get back with her ex and she was asking me for advice. :rofl: (_OW, you came to the right place. Snigger!_)
She texted me every day. I just _answered_ her texts. :lol:
We kissed cos when I dropped her home she said "Aren't you going to kiss me goodnight". :slap: 
(_Heck, WS didn't stand a chance now did he! That was one bossy OW.:ezpi_wink1:_)

Great thread MattMatt. I've got a truckload of these - I'll 'trickle' them


----------



## Racer

verpin zal said:


> "I was raped way back when."
> ...
> Now, the way I see it, one who got raped either goes into shock and shows tendency to hate menfolk altogether, or seeks help and tries to recover eventually. The way I see it, one who claims of rape doesn't turn into a promiscuous harlot, unless it's a very new level of lame excuse, made up with the shock of getting suddenly busted while cheating..


It's not that simple. Typically, they head for 'control'. All sorts of weird ramifications. Like my wife. She would ‘test herself’. So, if she was out with friends and her ride wanted to leave but she didn’t, she might accept a ride from a ‘friend of a friend’ (that’s how she got raped in the first place). She knew there were risk, but sort of tested herself that she could overcome that fear and ‘be strong’. She did stuff like that all the time. The movie Rum Diaries is very triggery for me, because that would be my wife. 

That includes testing me by withholding sex as a test to see if I was “safe” or would try something. Unfortunately, I failed that test since she said ‘no’ so much, I’d just keep trying. And she’d cave in sometimes for duty sex... Then hate herself for ‘being so weak’ and hate me for ‘only valuing her for sex’.

Added to that, there’s sort a new ‘value’ assigned toward sex. It isn’t an emotional bonding thing to her. She recognizes that it has ‘value’ for men. And she uses it like a commodity. I don’t think she does it as a conscience thing she actually thinks about. Sort of like if you know people think you are funny, you tend to say funny stuff for a laugh; just who you are without really thinking it’s a manipulation to get people to like you. It’s also a fear; That her only value to others is sex. Made her an easy target to pickup artist because they tend to tell you great things about you like your whit, intelligence, and so forth. So she didn’t feel they were after sex, they wanted to be with her and valued her words. I used that to tear her apart later because it always ended in sex. She traded it for kind words and sold herself rather cheaply.

Then there’s the deeper trauma’s. She was violently raped and beaten. So, when physically threatened, she just sort of shuts down hoping it will end quickly. That was one of her OP’s. She went into a panic when she found herself alone with him and he was getting angry at being told no.

There are a lot of underlying emotions and fury about what happened. In my story, those unresolved feelings were triggered when our son was molested. Her entire demeanor changed. Think of it like a BS on DD and the following weeks and how they change; That was similiar. It was like a major trigger. I didn’t understand and got between her an our son when she was going entirely too far. She misplaced her fury’s source and painted the target on me. She also started drinking very heavily when those feelings of 'victim' flared up... Drinking to escape.


----------



## russell28

I just thought of a good one..

"We didn't do it in their bed, we did it on the floor because that would have been disrespectful.."

A week later I found out they did it in my bed at least once, and yea, I'm sure many many times in his bed, floor, tub, counter tops... hallway, closets..... don't care to know...


----------



## Shoto1984

Similar to some already posted...

"we only hugged....as friends..."

after pressure applied turns into..

"we only kissed....as friends..."

after more pressure applied..

" I didn't tell you about our meetings in the park while you were at work because I didn't want you to be mad.....you wouldn't understand.."

after evidence presented...

"we just sat in the car....we didn't have sex.."


----------



## Racer

Another in the script is the reaction and attempt to acquire your soul when you offer R. 

It basically goes like: “If you _(insert massive list of things they want from you to change about yourself no matter how nonsensical or impossible they are) _, I will end this friendship.” 

Basically they are offering to stop doing something they know they shouldn’t be doing anyway if you serve up your soul on a platter. And if you fail at any of it (keep in mind some of those request will counter each other) that is ‘implied permission’ to continue their outside friendship. Also keep in mind that what they envision will be some fantasy and probably not at all like you think will meet those requirements. “Show me more respect” could very well mean “never disagree with me”... but you won’t know and they can change it to whatever it is you weren’t doing as proof of a failure.


----------



## Lovemytruck

A little off topic, but wouldn't it be GREAT to go into a D with the same ILYBNILWY speech you heard from your WS?

Kinda wish I would have thought of it at the end of my "limbo" phase.


----------



## F-102

Actually heard by my uncle in a D case: "All the men in my past were either cheaters or abusive, so it was time that I got my revenge on all men everywhere."


----------



## Thor

1) Refusing marriage counseling and wants to "focus on the future" rather than "dwell on the past". This is a red flag she fears her affair being discovered by the therapist who might be able to read her mind or who has enough experience to see the warning signs which the BS is missing.

2) Attending MC and doing just the minimum to keep the BS thinking she wants to save the marriage. In reality she is not making a genuine effort.

3) WS accusing the BS of cheating out of the blue with no reason.

4) Responding to questions about suspicious events with anger, counter accusations, and calling the BS paranoid or having "trust issues".


----------



## OhGeesh

There are too many different types of affairs to put them in a script! I know back in the day when I was caught I had no excuse I liked variety and you caught me. Of course I felt guilty and rarely was the sex ever better than my girlfriend now wife, but it was different and new and that's why I did it.

Finally I figured out I was just trying to fill a void and have been faithful for 19 years.


----------



## Vega

OhGeesh said:


> Finally I figured out I was just trying to fill a *void* and have been faithful for 19 years.


I don't want to derail this thread, but I AM curious as to what the "void" was that you were trying to fill...

...IF you ever "filled" it...
and HOW you filled it...

Vega


----------



## arbitrator

OhGeesh said:


> There are too many different types of affairs to put them in a script! I know back in the day when I was caught I had no excuse I liked variety and you caught me. Of course I felt guilty and rarely was the sex ever better than my girlfriend now wife, but it was different and new and that's why I did it.
> 
> Finally I figured out I was just trying to fill a void and have been faithful for 19 years.


*In my experience from over the years, the physical equipment of a new partner just doesn't feel any different than normal. 

But the psychological aspect of doing it with a different partner can vary considerably!*


----------



## highwood

I am not sure what I want

She is just a friend

It has nothing to do with you

She is in an abusive relationship and I was just trying to help


----------



## highwood

Just remembered another one...

I never meant to hurt you


----------



## MattMatt

highwood said:


> Just remembered another one...
> 
> I never meant to hurt you


Ah. That one I did get. 

In general, my wife baffles this whole thread, as she didn't really follow the cheater's script all that closely.

But, "I never meant to hurt you" I did get.


----------



## Racer

Lovemytruck said:


> A little off topic, but wouldn't it be GREAT to go into a D with the same ILYBNILWY speech you heard from your WS?


lol... I did do that. I gave her the version that I finally really knew what that meant because it's how I felt about her; Love of a family member like her love for her sister (alcoholic who never got straight and couldn't be trusted) versus love in a romantic sense; Someone you could trust and adored. 

It was sort of when she knew it was over. She did start changing and we are still together though.


----------



## Racer

"I never meant to hurt you." Got that one too. I simply responded; "But you knew it would and did it anyway.".....


----------



## Philat

********** said:


> _DRUM ROLL. . . And the three winners in our cheater's script are:_
> IDK. . . I don't know.
> ICR. . . I can't remember.
> INS. . . I'm not sure.
> 
> (_For the newbies and if I may say so, a prize-winning example of Trickle Truth. . ._)
> No, she was NOT at our apartment.
> (_Weeks later_) She _might_ have been at our apt.
> (_Months later_) I think she was at our apartment. I'm really not sure.
> (_More months later. . . Wait for it. . . _)
> I remember now - she was at our apartment because the cat hissed at her. :rofl::rofl::rofl:
> (_Sheesh! Wish I was as smart as the cat.:scratchhead:_)
> 
> (_And in no particular order. . . _)
> You know everything now.
> We just kissed.
> She wasn't even a friend.
> We just talked.
> There is nothing more to tell.
> Of course she didn't flirt with me.
> She was talking about how she wanted to get back with her ex and she was asking me for advice. :rofl: (_OW, you came to the right place. Snigger!_)
> She texted me every day. I just _answered_ her texts. :lol:
> We kissed cos when I dropped her home she said "Aren't you going to kiss me goodnight". :slap:
> (_Heck, WS didn't stand a chance now did he! That was one bossy OW.:ezpi_wink1:_)
> 
> Great thread MattMatt. I've got a truckload of these - I'll 'trickle' them


I got IDK, ICR and INS all in the same sentence.


----------



## Lovemytruck

I think I got all of the classics. Lol! Thanks for sharing everyone. It is almost funny how it runs so similar in so many cases.

Too bad it hurts so much when you first hear it, and still want to avoid the reality.

I hope we have helped a few lurkers that have been reading these comments, and are saying to themselves, "that is what my spouse is telling me."

Lurkers, read and learn.


----------



## Remains

verpin zal said:


> I've been wanting to mention this to my fellow TAM folks, but I always felt like I was gonna threadjack or whatever - Matt's thread seems like a suitable place:
> 
> "I was raped way back when."
> 
> Not only on here and from several people around me, I had heard this right after I learned that my girlfriend of 2 years was cheating on me with numerous guys (and women).
> 
> Now, the way I see it, one who got raped either goes into shock and shows tendency to hate menfolk altogether, or seeks help and tries to recover eventually. The way I see it, one who claims of rape doesn't turn into a promiscuous harlot, unless it's a very new level of lame excuse, made up with the shock of getting suddenly busted while cheating.
> 
> Now, my point is, does this "rape" phenomena have some scientific and physocologic basis? I haven't been able to find any reliable articles on this one, if anyone can point me to a "this is the
> 3 you should read" place, it'd be really appreciated.


Sexual abuse of girls more likely than not creates a promiscuous adult (some it is just teenage years/young adulthood, others continue). 

As Racer said, sex is cheapened. It also becomes a commodity. 

I would bet my bottom dollar that 98% of women porn 'stars' were abused as children (I don't know about males).


----------



## Lovemytruck

Racer said:


> lol... I did do that. I gave her the version that I finally really knew what that meant because it's how I felt about her; Love of a family member like her love for her sister (alcoholic who never got straight and couldn't be trusted) versus love in a romantic sense; Someone you could trust and adored.
> 
> It was sort of when she knew it was over. She did start changing and we are still together though.


Good on YOU! LOL!

I did tell my exWW that I loved her like a sister. That happened when she refused to be sexual with me, and was in her PA. I didn't find out until almost a year later. It makes me laugh now that I think about it.


----------



## mahike

When they see them again and you catch them It was about closure. They just talked, she wanted apologize to him for the problems she caused him


----------



## TheFlood117

Oh, I want to play this game too- 

Straight from her mouth on D-day. 

"I don't know why I did it"- Oh yeah, this one. Lies. Truth: "I did it cause it felt good and it was a rush to deceive you. I really kinda hated you during the affair. That's why I'd sucked another man off and took his D! k up my a$$ and then come home, have sex with you and tell you "I luv you". I did it for the power, sex and deception of you. And I loved every second of it."

"It's not you, it's me"- Well, kinda. But it is really me, you had zero respect for me and gave yourself to POSOM. Cause you valued his sperm more than mine- the father of your child. Yep. 

"I'm in love with you. Don't leave me. I love you"- 

Or the truth and translated from 'cheater speak'- "I love the security of having you. I love parading a hubby around who was a model and now a firefighter. I like telling all my friends I got you. And at the same time, using your love and emotions against you. All the while doormating and attempting to beta you, and having you under my thumb.. Yes, honey. I love you so much" 

I'm sure there's more. But that's just some of the Sh!t I think about.


----------



## MattMatt

Lovemytruck said:


> I think I got all of the classics. Lol! Thanks for sharing everyone. It is almost funny how it runs so similar in so many cases.
> 
> Too bad it hurts so much when you first hear it, and still want to avoid the reality.
> 
> I hope we have helped a few lurkers that have been reading these comments, and are saying to themselves, "that is what my spouse is telling me."
> 
> Lurkers, read and learn.


Thank you. Yes, pretty much, that was what I am hoping for this thread.

Thank you, everyone, for sharing some memories that can be pretty traumatic.


----------



## verpin zal

We've built up some nice Codex Infidelis. Let's keep 'em coming.


----------



## Foghorn

"We just stayed up all night talking."

"It was just a friendly kiss, like I'd kiss my sister."

"Why are you so paranoid?"


----------



## russell28

Foghorn said:


> "We just stayed up all night talking."
> 
> "It was just a friendly kiss, like I'd kiss my sister."
> 
> "Why are you so paranoid?"


"You stick your tongue down your sisters throat when you kiss her?.. that's hot.... I would want to see that"

(then i'd get slapped in the face probably)


----------



## Racer

Foghorn said:


> "We just stayed up all night talking."


That's one that still haunts me... Years before the discovery I got that line when she was in a co-workers hotel room next to our room thinking I'd passed out instead of waiting up for her to come to the room.


----------



## Blacksmith01

I can't wait to use some of her lines against her as the D goes on.

One's that I got were.

"I'm sorry that I have so many guy friends"

"I love you but I'm not in love with you"

" I don't know why I did anything with him; You are so much more."

She had many many more.


----------



## Lovemytruck

Here's one more that I heard from my exWW a couple of months after I had moved out, she beat me to filing for a D, and I had started dating again....

She said, "you are a cheater and adulter" to me. Lol! 

This was from a woman that had been in a year+ PA/EA with a co-worker, and at least a concurrent EA with my former best friend.

I all could muster, *with a big grin*, was, "sure as Hell takes one to know one."


----------



## remorseful strayer

Lovemytruck said:


> Here's one more that I heard from my exWW a couple of months after I had moved out, she beat me to filing for a D, and I had started dating again....
> 
> She said, "you are a cheater and adulter" to me. Lol!
> 
> This was from a woman that had been in a year+ PA/EA with a co-worker, and at least a concurrent EA with my former best friend.
> 
> I all could muster, *with a big grin*, was, "sure as Hell takes one to know one."


At least you are honest. I guess you did it because you live in a no fault state and no longer cared. In a no fault state, cheating has little consequence in the division of marital assets. 

But the caveat for others is that in some states, dating during a legal separation *is cheating* and will hurt the spouse is a state where filing for fault is common.


----------



## MattMatt

Thanks, folks! Now here's a thing, does cheating lower the cheater's IQ score? :scratchhead:


----------



## calvin

MattMatt said:


> Thanks, folks! Now here's a thing, does cheating lower the cheater's IQ score? :scratchhead:


 I don't think so,it was a stupid thing to do,as long as they truely learn from what they
did it, does'nt make them stupid.
Now I'm scratching my head.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## MattMatt

calvin said:


> I don't think so,it was a stupid thing to do,as long as they truely learn from what they
> did it, does'nt make them stupid.
> Now I'm scratching my head.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I think it lowers the score for a while. Then they think: "Oh, no! What did I do?!" Sort of like the fog effect.

Oh. Yeah. My revenge affair. My IQ was way, way down, for a while.


----------



## calvin

MattMatt said:


> I think it lowers the score for a while. Then they think: "Oh, no! What did I so?!" Sort of like the fog effect.
> 
> Oh. Yeah. My revenge affair. My IQ was way, way down, for a while.


Temporary stupidity?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## MattMatt

calvin said:


> Temporary stupidity?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I think I was like this for a while


----------



## 86857

MattMatt said:


> Thanks, folks! Now here's a thing, does cheating lower the cheater's IQ score? :scratchhead:


OK MattMatt, my take on it.
The GOOD: Their IQ gets a reworking and polishing up because they have to go into sleuth mode, 007 and all that. 
The BAD: When we fall for someone a hormone called PEA is released, aptly named - think pea-brained - hence the fog. 
The UGLY: How soon they get caught is an indication of polish vs PEA. :lol:


----------



## Healer

MattMatt said:


> Thanks, folks! Now here's a thing, does cheating lower the cheater's IQ score? :scratchhead:


Not possible.


----------



## MattMatt

Healer said:


> Not possible.


I know that really, but I was so stupid during my revenge affair that I did wonder.


----------



## awake1

I remember FWWs friend asking her when I went out the weekend of DDay "Do you think he's cheating on you?" 

FWW said "I don't know." 

Also: "I'm hurt you can move on so fast." 

"The sex wasn't that good." (on why she kept going back) "I don't know." 

"I cried in the car on the way home, and I was shaking." (on why she went back then, and moved onto more EAs during her PA) "I don't know, validation i guess." 

Dday #1: "I told you everything" Dday #2 "I told you everything." 



Before DDay: "I feel like we're room mates"


----------



## verpin zal

"I know what I did was wrong."

= "I knew what I did was wrong but kept on with the bangin' anyway. Now that I'm busted, maybe you will believe in something that which even I find ridiculous to even think about."


----------



## Headspin

"I hate myself"


..........but....."


----------



## Horizon

"Oh, now you care!"

(6 months later to BGF's - "I couldn't believe how devastated he was")

"I didn't feel alive, I didn't feel like I mattered. He made me feel special and good about myself" (I'm paraphrasing here, it was all this type of BS and more)

"You shut me out; that is an act of infidelity" (I was actually cheating on her)


----------



## MattMatt

There was something someone said, it was almost as if the WS was blaming the affair on the BS.

"If you had paid me more attention..." that kind of stuff.


----------



## calvin

MattMatt said:


> There was something someone said, it was almost as if the WS was blaming the affair on the BS.
> 
> "If you had paid me more attention..." that kind of stuff.


Yeah.
"The passion was gone"...I was still hot to trot.
" I fell out of love"...ugh
"You loved the person you wanted me too be,not the real me".....sigh.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## verpin zal

*"ilybinilwy"*​


----------



## Mzflower

"She came on to me, she did and I let myself down"

2nd time same skank....

"Again, truth, she came on to me and I regrettably participated"


----------



## F-102

I love the ones on Jerry Springer (I know, lousy/fake show-but so damn funny sometimes!) who start out with "Baby, you know that I love you with all of my heart and more than life itself, and you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, but I have something to tell you...I had sex with your best friend!"

When the BS asks why, then it's:

"WELL, YOU'RE SUCH A JERK! YOU NEVER MAKE ME FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF AND YOU'RE SO SELFISH! YOU'RE LAZY AND WOULD RATHER HANG OUT WITH YOUR DUMBASS FRIENDS AND I CAN'T STAND BEING WITH YOUR SORRY, LAZY, GOOD-FOR-NOTHING ASS ANYMORE!!!..."

Then he says "Look, sis-I tried..."


----------



## MattMatt

F-102 said:


> I love the ones on Jerry Springer (I know, lousy/fake show-but so damn funny sometimes!) who start out with "Baby, you know that I love you with all of my heart and more than life itself, and you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, but I have something to tell you...I had sex with your best friend!"
> 
> When the BS asks why, then it's:
> 
> "WELL, YOU'RE SUCH A JERK! YOU NEVER MAKE ME FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF AND YOU'RE SO SELFISH! YOU'RE LAZY AND WOULD RATHER HANG OUT WITH YOUR DUMBASS FRIENDS AND I CAN'T STAND BEING WITH YOUR SORRY, LAZY, GOOD-FOR-NOTHING ASS ANYMORE!!!..."
> 
> Then he says "Look, sis-I tried..."


Or when finding out that someone had impregnated the wife of a "best friend" (yeah, right... best friend, huh?)

Jeremy Kyle said something to the effect of... "The infidelity was bad enough... But why didn't you put something on the bloody end of it?!"


----------



## remorseful strayer

MattMatt said:


> Or when finding out that someone had impregnated the wife of a "best friend" (yeah, right... best friend, huh?)
> 
> Jeremy Kyle said something to the effect of... "The infidelity was bad enough... But why didn't you put something on the bloody end of it?!"


Yes, really. In this day and age, no one gets pregnant by accident. 

One or the other in the affair wanted the pregnancy to happen.


----------



## F-102

Here's one: "He was going through a rough time, he was lonely: He needed me".


----------



## Philat

I don't think I've seen this classic up here yet:

"One thing just led to another."


----------



## verpin zal

Philat: look for Matt's vomiting cute penguin in the thread.


----------



## Philat

verpin zal said:


> Philat: look for Matt's vomiting cute penguin in the thread.


Oops, sorry verpin. Guess it can't be said too many times, though.:smthumbup:


----------



## Horizon

You lied to me again. Why didn't you have the STD check as agreed?

"You didn't give me the opportunity to say no"


----------



## RWB

F-102 said:


> *"He was going through a rough time, he was lonely: He needed me".*


_The old care-giver defense..._

When I asked my wife, didn't you really know that you were just this big time Doc's f--k mistress. "I guess so." (her standard answer). 

Followed up with... *"He had been sick (stroke) and I guess I felt sorry for him."*

I guess a get well card wasn't personal enough?


----------



## arbitrator

RWB said:


> _The old care-giver defense..._
> 
> When I asked my wife, didn't you really know that you were just this big time Doc's f--k mistress. "I guess so." (her standard answer).
> 
> Followed up with... *"He had been sick (stroke) and I guess I felt sorry for him."*
> 
> *I guess a get well card wasn't personal enough?*


*Yeah, RWB! I'm taking it that Ol' Doc just greatly preferred for his "get-well cards" to be of the "moist and steamy" variety!*


----------



## F-102

"Hey, I'm sorry, alright!?!? But she was coming on to ME, and when I tried to tell her I was married, she and her male friends said that I must be gay or something, and I had to defend my honor!"


----------



## toonaive

"You dont love me, you only think you love me" Its another version of ILUBINILWU.


----------



## arbitrator

F-102 said:


> "Hey, I'm sorry, alright!?!? But she was coming on to ME, and when I tried to tell her I was married, she and her male friends said that I must be gay or something, and I had to defend my honor!"


*Now, that is lame! 

Now, if I were the cheater, I'd greatly think that I'd have to give due consideration in telling the absolute truth, before adopting that sorry-assed excuse!*


----------



## missthelove2013

"It was a mistake"

lmmfao...oh...did you trip and stumble onto his penis/into her vagina??

there are NO mistakes in infidelity...it was an "on-purpose"...MAKE NO MISTAKE!!!


----------



## Headspin

F-102 said:


> "Hey, I'm sorry, alright!?!? But she was coming on to ME, and when I tried to tell her I was married, she and her male friends said that I must be gay or something, and I had to defend my honor!"


Hahah 

Two things there "when I tried to tell her I was married"
I love that I "tried" - seems that the words simply took on a life of their own and refused to come out of my mouth - brilliant :rofl:

"and I had to defend my honor!" Well of course what is a man meant to do in such circumstances
:lol:


----------



## Philat

For EAs especially:

" I didn't think I was hurting anybody."


----------



## Racer

"Him, really? Gross... He's not my type!"


----------



## verpin zal

"I'm in a void." (I won't get out. And that void needs filling.. preferably with someone else's body parts. So until such time it gets filled enough, leave me alone.)


----------



## verpin zal

"I need space." (This house's cubic volume in the empty Euclidean should suffice. How nice of you to move out!)


----------



## Headspin

Racer said:


> "Him, really? Gross... He's not my type!"


Yep I had that 
"Don't be ridiculous, he's not even my type"


----------



## mablenc

I have a friend who has caught her husband more than 5 times different AP, he even brought one home with her spouse. :crazy: well he said it's because his brother was always the "cute" one so be had to prove it to himself that he can attract a woman (5 women to be exact).

I think she's even crazier than him to put up with so much.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## badcompany

Triggers....like 1/2 of this thread.....and she still doesn't confess.
****!


----------



## Bodhitree

"He was just a friend"- yep

"I just needed a couple of days alone, by myself"

"I was in so much pain regarding the condition of our relationship, I just couldn't take it any more."

"I'm spending the nights with the girls at work"

"I bought those lacy bras for you"

"We aren't (at the time says she) good for each other"

"I've lost 17 pounds"

"Don't know the name of the lake I'm staying at tonight"

"His wife left him last year for another man- poor guy"

"The 75.00 bourbon I bought him, well, uh, it was a group of us at work that did that- not just me."


----------



## bartendersfriend

"I honestly thought you did not love me any more and now I know that you did." (That one just feels like I am to blame for her cheating)

"He was just nice to me, there for me all the time, and wrote all the right things." (as the OM would send her emails from work all day and I actually have to work all day)

"I built this fantasy version of him that I now see wasn't real." (long story, but the OM is not at all what she thought)

"I honestly do not know what I was thinking and I just never thought about that [getting caught]." (response to the question of why she thought I would never find out)


----------



## bartendersfriend

Oh, and the ever popular:

"We kissed... That's ALL that happened!"

then the trickle truth...

"Ok, I just want to be honest, ______ happened... but only once!"


----------



## F-102

This kinda goes with my last post, but I do believe that the WW was on this site!

She got roped into a threesome with her friend and her H, despite her repeated protests, because they called her "chicken", and so she had to prove that she wasn't...

...and got pregnant with the OM's kid!


----------



## verpin zal

F-102 said:


> This kinda goes with my last post, but I do believe that the WW was on this site!
> 
> She got roped into a threesome with her friend and her H, despite her repeated protests, because they called her "chicken", and so she had to prove that she wasn't...
> 
> ...and got pregnant with the OM's kid!


Was the WW from McFly lineage?


----------



## hereinthemidwest

They called and asked for my help. If someone needs your help you be right there. 

I think I would tell my partner the person called and asked for help. WHO hides helping someone? WTF

a shoulder you cry on often becomes the d1ck you ride on!


----------



## hereinthemidwest

Here's a good one: 

My cell didn't ring. You never called me, then they show you their cell AFTER they erased any calls from you.


----------



## Want2babettrme

F-102 said:


> This kinda goes with my last post, but I do believe that the WW was on this site!
> 
> She got roped into a threesome with her friend and her H, despite her repeated protests, because they called her "chicken", and so she had to prove that she wasn't...
> 
> ...and got pregnant with the OM's kid!




That's just brutal.


----------



## Horizon

The truth is much simpler but no where near as entertaining.


----------



## LaQueso

"she listens to me."
"We were never a cute couple." 
"We never liked/loved each other." (about 17 years too late for that one!)
"We are just roommates."
"She's so smart."
"The kids will be ok." "You are causing the problem."
"You never dress nice."
"You aren't that smart." " she's really got it going on."
"you didn't buy me what I wanted for Christmas 2 years ago!"
"I need to live life for myself!"
While I was trying to beg, after he had left, referring to my texts.-
"I'm in love with this girl, but you aren't it."
"She might be the love of my life!"
"You weren't happy when I came home."
"Your Facebook posts are all depressing."
"You didn't have dinner ready whenever I chose to show up."
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## F-102

One WW had this excuse: She saw that all of the wives on TV or in the movies were either in affairs of some sort or were always mad at their husbands or disgusted with them in one way or another. She began to think that because she seemed to be the only one in the world that had a happy marriage, that there was either something "wrong" with her, or that there was something that she wasn't paying close enough attention to.

So, she decided to create some drama by starting a purely FWB relationship with a guy at work. When outed, she simply said that she thought that all "normal" wives did it!


----------



## Philat

F-102 said:


> One WW had this excuse: She saw that all of the wives on TV or in the movies were either in affairs of some sort or were always mad at their husbands or disgusted with them in one way or another. She began to think that because she seemed to be the only one in the world that had a happy marriage, that there was either something "wrong" with her, or that there was something that she wasn't paying close enough attention to.
> 
> So, she decided to create some drama by starting a purely FWB relationship with a guy at work. When outed, she simply said that she thought that all "normal" wives did it!


This one might be the most depressing of all.


----------



## Merton Densher

I was bored!!!


----------



## treyvion

F-102 said:


> One WW had this excuse: She saw that all of the wives on TV or in the movies were either in affairs of some sort or were always mad at their husbands or disgusted with them in one way or another. She began to think that because she seemed to be the only one in the world that had a happy marriage, that there was either something "wrong" with her, or that there was something that she wasn't paying close enough attention to.
> 
> So, she decided to create some drama by starting a purely FWB relationship with a guy at work. When outed, she simply said that she thought that all "normal" wives did it!


Some of the are "herd" creatures. They share emotions and viewpoints on life. But then again, men are the same way. It's funny that she had a happy life, happy marriage and thought something must be wrong with her because all the others were complaining.


----------



## MattMatt

F-102 said:


> This kinda goes with my last post, but I do believe that the WW was on this site!
> 
> She got roped into a threesome with her friend and her H, despite her repeated protests, because they called her "chicken", and so she had to prove that she wasn't...
> 
> ...and got pregnant with the OM's kid!


Oh. That kind of made my head explode!


----------



## Horizon

"Once again you blunder in and try to fix everything. I should have been given the opportunity to deal with him in my own way!" 

I bet you would have!


----------



## F-102

Horizon said:


> "Once again you blunder in and try to fix everything. I should have been given the opportunity to deal with him in my own way!"
> 
> I bet you would have!


I hope that he dealt with her in HIS own way!


----------



## arbitrator

*Another one from my rich skank XW in an email to me: 
*

*"We've grown apart. I want the 'old you' back, the attentive, flirty one."*

*All while she was off in Hawaii making and receiving numerous cell phone calls from him back here in Texas that exceeded 3 to 3-1/2 hours each.

The longest call that I had with her? 2 at 4 minutes each. When she landed back on the mainland, who does she notify? You guessed it ~ Lil' Lord Lardass!*


----------



## Alyosha

I got every single one of these (and more):

*"ILYBINILWY"

"His wife left him and I felt bad that he was a single dad."

"He's just a good friend that I can say anything to."

"He listened to me and I liked the attention."

"Nothing physical ever happened."

"Jeezus! I might as well have slept with him the way you are acting."

"You are twisting my words."

"You have trust issues."

"You are paranoid."

"You are bi-polar."

"You are crazy."

"You are sick."

"I feel sorry for you."

"Stop ****ing spying on me. I can't live without trust."

"We only hugged."

"We only kissed."

"What we did is none of your business and doesn't matter now anyway."

"It's not like I planned it, it just happened."

"I never meant to hurt you."

"[I set up a secret meeting with him (during R)] to tell him I never wanted to see him again." 

"You are untrustworthy." (because I told my family about her affair).

"You never loved me."

"I guess I just stopped needing you for anything."

"This marriage has had deep problems for years."

"I checked out of the marriage."

"I never loved you."

"You are not social."

"I always thought you would leave me."

"You and I have different interests and goals."

"He has muscles (and millions of dollars)."

"The heart wants what the heart wants."

"My heart is completely with him now."

"I don't know why you even married me." (that makes two of us, *****.) 
*


Such a horrible, horrible time in my life. Glad it's over.


----------



## paralysedwhilewalking

"I was lonely"

"It meant nothing"

"There's a difference between meaningless sex and you, guys know this, this was meaningless."

"It has nothing to do with you, I loooooove you, I have always been devoted to you, you're the only one I want to be with"

"she's just a meaningless *****"

My spouse has e.d., and claimed, "its like the last hoorah before my drive is gone altogether"

"mid-life crisis"

"I can't remember", "I don't know", 'you're right'

"This is all my fault, I'm just a scumbag, you can leave if you want to."

"I'm not going to watch porn or go to strip bars anymore"

Oh, and on first weekend of discovery, in the throes of grappling with whole revelation, we were intimate and right in the middle of climaxing, he says, "let me fk her'....can you say double ptsd shock anxiety attack? right then and in the most intimate moment....top that, if you can.


----------



## calvin

paralysedwhilewalking said:


> "I was lonely"
> 
> "It meant nothing"
> 
> "There's a difference between meaningless sex and you, guys know this, this was meaningless."
> 
> "It has nothing to do with you, I loooooove you, I have always been devoted to you, you're the only one I want to be with"
> 
> "she's just a meaningless *****"
> 
> My spouse has e.d., and claimed, "its like the last hoorah before my drive is gone altogether"
> 
> "mid-life crisis"
> 
> "I can't remember", "I don't know", 'you're right'
> 
> "This is all my fault, I'm just a scumbag, you can leave if you want to."
> 
> "I'm not going to watch porn or go to strip bars anymore"
> 
> Oh, and on first weekend of discovery, in the throes of grappling with whole revelation, we were intimate and right in the middle of climaxing, he says, "let me fk her'....can you say double ptsd shock anxiety attack? right then and in the most intimate moment....top that, if you can.


Wow.....good God.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## staarz21

I always get "I don't know" or "I don't remember". Every single time.


----------



## Vega

paralysedwhilewalking said:


> "
> Oh, and on first weekend of discovery, in the throes of grappling with whole revelation, we were intimate and right in the middle of climaxing, *he says, "let me fk her'*....can you say double ptsd shock anxiety attack? right then and in the most intimate moment....top that, if you can.


 issed: :wtf: :FIREdevil: :BoomSmilie_anim:

Wow. Just. Wow.....

What did you *do* after he said that, paralysedwhilewalking?


----------



## arbitrator

staarz21 said:


> I always get "I don't know" or "I don't remember". Every single time.


*The sad, sad fact of the matter is that they do remember, and always will! Every illicit act that they have committed is indelibly etched into their minds.

They're lying, not only to their betrayed, but moreso to themselves! Every single time!*


----------



## MattMatt

paralysedwhilewalking said:


> "I was lonely"
> 
> "It meant nothing"
> 
> "There's a difference between meaningless sex and you, guys know this, this was meaningless."
> 
> "It has nothing to do with you, I loooooove you, I have always been devoted to you, you're the only one I want to be with"
> 
> "she's just a meaningless *****"
> 
> My spouse has e.d., and claimed, "its like the last hoorah before my drive is gone altogether"
> 
> "mid-life crisis"
> 
> "I can't remember", "I don't know", 'you're right'
> 
> "This is all my fault, I'm just a scumbag, you can leave if you want to."
> 
> "I'm not going to watch porn or go to strip bars anymore"
> 
> Oh, and on first weekend of discovery, in the throes of grappling with whole revelation, we were intimate and right in the middle of climaxing, he says, "let me fk her'....can you say double ptsd shock anxiety attack? right then and in the most intimate moment....top that, if you can.


:wtf: 

A rare moment for people to treasure. For I am rendered speechless.


----------



## MattMatt

arbitrator said:


> *The sad, sad fact of the matter is that they do remember, and always will! Every illicit act that they have committed is indelibly etched into their minds.
> 
> They're lying, not only to their betrayed, but moreso to themselves! Every single time!*


Sadly, yes. I can confirm this. If I ever think about it, guilt consumes me. If it had gone further? I don't know if I could have coped.


----------



## Racer

paralysedwhilewalking said:


> Oh, and on first weekend of discovery, in the throes of grappling with whole revelation, we were intimate and right in the middle of climaxing, he says, "let me fk her'....can you say double ptsd shock anxiety attack? right then and in the most intimate moment....top that, if you can.


As horrible as yours sounds...Ugh... You dared...
"I wanted to see if he was bigger and he was exotic so it was intense for me." (for 'why' her particular ethnic fetish that extended out to Nigerian immigrants of a certain skin color, and why most her affairs were 'ethnically diverse').


----------



## FrustratedFL

His lines -

"We are just friends"

"I send her jokes in those emails"

"You are obsessed with my phone" (ended up throwing it in the pool the night I kicked him out  )

"Accidents Happen"

"Thought you would be relieved since you lost all interest in me"

"You turned frigid" 

"She showed interest in my diabetes. You did not care" = (funny I worked and covered his medical ins, went to dr appts, went to diabetes cooking class, bought him nutrition bars to keep in his truck to balance sugar. Meanwhile he would pick up pills from CVS and come home with a big bag of gummi bears).

"I lost ALL respect for you and can't look you in the eye"

"I never said I wanted a divorce, I just need to take a break from you"


----------



## RWB

staarz21 said:


> I always get "I don't know" or "I don't remember".


I got/get... "I don't have a good memory like you."

When confronted with the facts (sex)... I too got... "It didn't mean anything."


----------



## ne9907

f-102 said:


> i always liked the re-writing of marital history.
> 
> The spouse whom the ws promised to "love, honor and cherish" is suddenly not worth the effort.
> 
> All of those endearing qualities that made the ws fall in love with the bs are now immature, annoying and repulsive.
> 
> The ws suddenly realizes, after so many years together, that they never really loved the bs. It only took you so many years to realize that?
> 
> When the bs may have said no, disagreed or had their own opinion, they are now "selfish, controlling and abusive".
> 
> If the bs may have spent money on something for themselves or frivolous in the past, they are now "financially immature and irresponsible".
> 
> If a bs didn't agree with one of the ws's family members in the past, or never really warmed up to one of the ws's friends, and told the ws about it, then they were trying to "isolate" the ws.
> 
> If the bs was content in their job and not really actively pursuing a promotion or raise, then they "lacked ambition" and was therefore a "loser".
> 
> If the bs liked to have a drink or a beer every now and then, suddenly they were a "raging alcoholic".
> 
> If the bs was lenient with raising the children, let the kids play outside alone or they happened to scrape their knees when the ws was not home, then they are "horrible, neglectful parents".
> 
> If the ws had a dream or was considering a career change in the past, and the bs talked them out of it for a good, legitimate reason, then they were "standing in their way" and "holding them back".
> 
> 
> There are many more, but i can't think of any now.:d


omg yes!


----------



## Horizon

arbitrator said:


> *The sad, sad fact of the matter is that they do remember, and always will! Every illicit act that they have committed is indelibly etched into their minds.
> 
> They're lying, not only to their betrayed, but moreso to themselves! Every single time!*


So true and because it remains unresolved for us BS's we are reduced to randomly chipping away at the that impenetrable block of stone. This manifests in all sorts of ways - driven by the triggers that lay in wait everywhere. And the lies and digressions and diversions just keep coming. Even though I have effectively now been told that no further talk about her affair will be tolerated I still chip away. I will say this, if we are still kicking this ball around in a few years and she tries to TT me on something, anything, I am going to enjoy telling her to f**k right off!


----------



## Horizon

arbitrator said:


> *The sad, sad fact of the matter is that they do remember, and always will! Every illicit act that they have committed is indelibly etched into their minds.
> 
> They're lying, not only to their betrayed, but moreso to themselves! Every single time!*


So true and because it remains unresolved for us BS's we are reduced to randomly chipping away at the that impenetrable block of stone. This manifests in all sorts of ways - driven by the triggers that lay in wait everywhere. And the lies and digressions and diversions just keep coming. Even though I have effectively now been told that no further talk about her affair will be tolerated I still chip away - I am forced to. I will say this, if we are still kicking this ball around in a few years and she tries to TT me on something, anything, I am going to enjoy telling her to f**k right off!


----------



## russell28

Horizon said:


> So true and because it remains unresolved for us BS's we are reduced to randomly chipping away at the that impenetrable block of stone. This manifests in all sorts of ways - driven by the triggers that lay in wait everywhere. And the lies and digressions and diversions just keep coming. Even though I have effectively now been told that no further talk about her affair will be tolerated I still chip away. I will say this, if we are still kicking this ball around in a few years and she tries to TT me on something, anything, I am going to enjoy telling her to f**k right off!


Who told you no further talk will be tolerated? That sounds like a threat.. and a way to not let you heal at your own pace. The only way you'll be able to not talk about it, will be when you feel you know most of the story (not to be confused with every tiny detail)..


----------



## calvin

Horizon said:


> So true and because it remains unresolved for us BS's we are reduced to randomly chipping away at the that impenetrable block of stone. This manifests in all sorts of ways - driven by the triggers that lay in wait everywhere. And the lies and digressions and diversions just keep coming. Even though I have effectively now been told that no further talk about her affair will be tolerated I still chip away - I am forced to. I will say this, if we are still kicking this ball around in a few years and she tries to TT me on something, anything, I am going to enjoy telling her to f**k right off!


 Oh hell no!
That would'nt work with me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## 86857

Horizon said:


> So true and because it remains unresolved for us BS's we are reduced to randomly chipping away at the that impenetrable block of stone. This manifests in all sorts of ways - driven by the triggers that lay in wait everywhere. And the lies and digressions and diversions just keep coming. Even though I have effectively now been told that no further talk about her affair will be tolerated I still chip away - I am forced to. I will say this, if we are still kicking this ball around in a few years and she tries to TT me on something, anything, I am going to enjoy telling her to f**k right off!


Why not tell her now.

OK, if you have to stay for now. . . let's see. . . I'm hoping she has her own car. If so:
Let the air down in her tires. Make sure you leave earlier, go to the store so you're not there to help her. 
Hide a raw prawn in her car. Unscrew the door panel and put it in there. Maybe one in each door. After a few days. . . OMG. Best thing about this trick is that the the source of the smell can never be found. 
Leave the toilet seat up ALL the time. Anytime you're passing by the loo just pop it up. :lol:
Make SURE to stay totally calm & nonchalant when she reacts to all this.  
Minor inconveniences. It will drive her nuts.  
You get my drift. I'm sure you can think of some more.


----------



## Betrayedred

"It was like quicksand. I wanted to get out, but I couldn't" 

"I'm not going to live like this, with this cloud hanging over me."

"Do you have to bring this up EVERY DAY?"

"You drove me to the arms of another woman because you hurt me in the past."


----------



## Horizon

********** said:


> Why not tell her now.
> 
> OK, if you have to stay for now. . . let's see. . . I'm hoping she has her own car. If so:
> Let the air down in her tires. Make sure you leave earlier, go to the store so you're not there to help her.
> Hide a raw prawn in her car. Unscrew the door panel and put it in there. Maybe one in each door. After a few days. . . OMG. Best thing about this trick is that the the source of the smell can never be found.
> Leave the toilet seat up ALL the time. Anytime you're passing by the loo just pop it up. :lol:
> Make SURE to stay totally calm & nonchalant when she reacts to all this.
> Minor inconveniences. It will drive her nuts.
> You get my drift. I'm sure you can think of some more.


hmmm....interesting suggestions. I don't operate this way but thanks for sharing **********


----------



## Horizon

russell28 said:


> Who told you no further talk will be tolerated? That sounds like a threat.. and a way to not let you heal at your own pace. The only way you'll be able to not talk about it, will be when you feel you know most of the story (not to be confused with every tiny detail)..


Right, that's what she has been effectively saying to me. She got to a point and it was clear that the "are we still talking about this...." attitude was in full swing. You can't draw blood from a stone. I can only work on me and, as with my post, there are days of anger and frustration where I just let it fly - on TAM mostly. I'm really trying to move beyond it because she is a lost cause when it comes to remorse.


----------



## MattMatt

"We need to have a talk. There's something I need to tell you. I know this will upset you, but please listen to me before you say anything."

Ouch. That was the first intimation I had that something was "wrong" in our relationship.


----------



## browneyes74

F-102 said:


> This kinda goes with my last post, but I do believe that the WW was on this site!
> 
> She got roped into a threesome with her friend and her H, despite her repeated protests, because they called her "chicken", and so she had to prove that she wasn't...
> 
> ...and got pregnant with the OM's kid!


Wow.. Okay, you win.. THAT is BULLSH*T.. 

ouch..


----------



## browneyes74

"I'm a bad guy.. You'll be better off without me."

"I swear I never did anything.. IT all just looks bad, I know.. But I'd never do that to you." 

"You're crazy.. You're listening to people you talk to online again, aren't you?" Love that one.. Way before TAM, but funny still.. Learned a lot on this site, and just how stupid I was.. (sigh)


----------



## verpin zal

oh I forgot this -

"I can't believe that b!tch told you everything. I should have known, she was always on the hunt to bed you. How convenient for her to come up with my mistakes!" (that b!tch = her best friend)

Tell me who your friends are. I'll tell you who you are.

(By the way, after this speech, the askance look on her face, both brows lifted, inquiring as to whether she bedded me.. Even at that moment. People never cease to amaze.)


----------



## Peony55555

"It's time for us to be at peace."


----------



## Horizon

"He wanted to cum inside me but I wouldn't let him"

An example of the cheaters high standards. - LOL!

"I know my cycles. It's virtually impossible to get pregnant after 45"

This was her cheater logic when I wanted to know how she could have been so stupid as to expose herself to the risk of pregnancy by having unprotected sex on one occasion. 

I then did some research and discovered that, to the contrary, there are plenty of surprised older women with accidental pregnancies. 

And further, there are women deliberately putting off conception until "later on" - my WS's age and older. Just more BS and again demonstrated how stupid she thought I was.


----------



## mamabear131617

Headspin said:


> Yep I had that
> "Don't be ridiculous, he's not even my type"


I did too, only it was "Her? She's old!"


----------



## mamabear131617

browneyes74 said:


> "I'm a bad guy.. You'll be better off without me."
> 
> "I swear I never did anything.. IT all just looks bad, I know.. But I'd never do that to you."
> 
> "You're crazy.. You're listening to people you talk to online again, aren't you?" Love that one.. Way before TAM, but funny still.. Learned a lot on this site, and just how stupid I was.. (sigh)


Omg I got that too!!! All three of them. 

But it was "I don't think I'm good for you." "I know how it looks but it's not like that, I put that on the kids babe." "You want to believe things that your mind is telling you but that's not how it is." This was all after I found only two days worth of inappropriate conversations but kept asking if there was more.


----------



## Horizon

Not to mention the fact that to this day she refuses to have the STD test that she agreed to have and told me she had taken. All lies. I discovered the truth about that and confronted her. Want to hear the cheaters line on why she wouldn't?

"You demanded" - "You never gave me a chance to say no"

I kid you not.

When I pinned her down on the fact that her BS about not getting pregnant was refuted by my research she clammed up. There's the ultimate get out of jail card - refuse to speak any further on the matter. But it speaks mountains. Sad to watch.


----------



## Philat

Apologies if this one has been posted before, but haven't gone through the thread in a while:

"I didn't lie, I just didn't tell the whole truth."


----------



## F-102

"Yes, I admit that I cheated on you with him/her, but I thought about YOU the entire time!"


----------



## Horizon

I did it because I felt I owed it to him

It was only sex

I wanted it to be you

I didn't enjoy it

2....er....3 times

I almost gagged

I never came

I can't remember what part of his car we had sex in

He made me feel good

I've told you, it was about me feeling as if I existed.


----------



## arbitrator

Horizon said:


> *
> 
> I did it because I felt I owed it to him
> 
> It was only sex
> 
> I wanted it to be you
> 
> I didn't enjoy it
> 
> 2....er....3 times
> 
> I almost gagged
> 
> I never came
> 
> I can't remember what part of his car we had sex in
> 
> 
> He made me feel good
> 
> I've told you, it was about me feeling as if I existed.*


*By the rich usage of self-justifying lines like these, just how stupid does the WS think that their BS counterparts really are? Saying absolutely nothing would be so much better by comparison!*


----------



## Philat

_I did it because I felt I owed it to him_

Wow...


----------



## Headspin

Philat said:


> Apologies if this one has been posted before, but haven't gone through the thread in a while:
> 
> "I didn't lie, I just didn't tell the whole truth."


Haha love it - the beautiful logic of it


----------



## Headspin

"That kiss was closure for me"

:sleeping:


----------



## arbitrator

Headspin said:


> *"That kiss was closure for me"*
> 
> :sleeping:


*By nature, I'm just not a volatile or an excitable guy. But the usage of that particular line on me might just give me the rapid perspective to change!*


----------



## Racer

Philat said:


> Apologies if this one has been posted before, but haven't gone through the thread in a while:
> 
> "I didn't lie, I just didn't tell the whole truth."


lol... My WW's version is playing in the technicalities of the English language.

"I haven't called him!" (just emailed, IM'd, and texted with him)


----------



## arbitrator

Racer said:


> lol... My WW's version is playing in the technicalities of the English language.
> 
> *"I haven't called him!" (just emailed, IM'd, and texted with him)*


*Just another fine and classic example of "trickle-truthing," I'm afraid!*


----------



## lacey99

My WH said "I wasn't even looking"...really and I am or I should be greatful cuz he was, look out


----------



## Insanity

"I had to follow my heart."


----------



## verpin zal

This just in from InTheMirror's thread, they keep coming.. aren't cheaters creative?

"We played board games"


----------



## arbitrator

verpin zal said:


> *"We played board games"*


*Board games, you say? Would that mean that y'all were doing it on diving boards, ironing boards, Quija boards or any other boards of that nature?*


----------



## verpin zal

MissFroggie said:


> OMG I had forgotten that one - he actually said that to me!


Well if more than one individual has said this, then it is scratched off from under the "made up on the spot lame excuse" category.. nice to know.


----------



## F-102

verpin zal said:


> This just in from InTheMirror's thread, they keep coming.. aren't cheaters creative?
> 
> "We played board games"


It wouldn't be at that house where the owner found a huge Monopoly board painted on the floor under the carpet, would it?


----------



## Philat

Insanity said:


> "I had to follow my heart."


Barf!


----------



## Horizon

and further....

"Sex, apparently that's what men need"

"You weren't there"

"as you know, e-mails can be so misleading. They don't necessarily mean what you think they do"

"It was a bit of fun, in the e-mails we were just trying to top each other" (the 'it din't mean anything' BS line again)

"I was trying to let him down slowly" (such cliched BS I actually felt embarrassed for her)

"His c**k was not bigger than yours"

"It never felt as good as that with him" (after sex)

"I was neither encouraging nor discouraging" (classic!)

"I was tossing up whether to tell you. I wasn't sure what he would do; whether he would tell you. I didn't know what he was capable of". (This is massive BS. In all the correspondence I read there was never a hint or an iota of any threat direct or implied. No sign of strain or argument. Never a harsh word, only the struggles they had letting each other go. Cheaters - the BS masters)

"I chose you. Why aren't I with him now? I never loved him. I have always loved you since the beginning"

and after DDay....

"I will do anything to make this better"

"I promise, no, I guarantee this will never happen again"

"I want us to have that intimacy we used to have"

tick tick tick tick ....


----------



## Philat

"How can something that feels so right be wrong?"


----------



## RWB

MattMatt said:


> Since starting my time at TAM I have learned a great deal about the Cheater's Script.


After caught, my wife TT for a few days... weeks. She was in full defense mode, trying to downplay her affairs as in they really meant nothing. I got this line one day...

*"I just want you to know, I never had an orgasm when I had sex with them."
*

Hoo Boy! that really took the edge off the pain. What cheaters are thinking when caught is really beyond rational understanding.


----------



## verpin zal

Let's not forget "I / he couldn't get it up."


----------



## RWB

verpin zal said:


> Let's not forget "I / he couldn't get it up."


Yep, got that line too. I ask if he could of... would you of. 

Sigh... "Yes."


----------



## verpin zal

Horizon said:


> "I was trying to let him down slowly" (such cliched BS I actually felt embarrassed for her)
> 
> "His c**k was not bigger than yours"
> 
> "It never felt as good as that with him" (after sex)
> 
> "I was neither encouraging nor discouraging" (classic!)


Horizon, did you ask her "Then why was it multiple times?"

Her answers could have contributed further to our resource here.


----------



## verpin zal

RWB said:


> Yep, got that line too. I ask if he could of... would you of.
> 
> Sigh... "Yes."


Interesting isn't it, when a man can't get it up on occassion all hell breaks loose, from "are you gay" to "have you watched porn again" to "why don't you find me sexy" to "you need medical help" to "there must be someone else"

But with AP it's just a white lie to settle things down with BS. Yeah, as if.


----------



## brokenbythis

"She's just a friend"

"You're trying to control my life"


----------



## Horizon

verpin zal said:


> Horizon, did you ask her "Then why was it multiple times?"
> 
> Her answers could have contributed further to our resource here.


I would have asked this question at some point I'm sure. The answer? Can't remember, but it would have been more post affair BS, twisted logic.

Don't forget, my WS sticks to her line that I am very much responsible as well because I shut her out, I checked out. This is true and I do not resile from it. Over time we had got to a very bad place. I didn't want anything to do with her - i was not outright hostile but there were times when i was. But we both got to that place - we both in our own way contributed to the space we were in. However she chose to eat cake - to introduce a third party. 

So she would have repeated her stock phrases and not directly answered the question at all.

"You shut me out"

"You didn't want to know me"

"I felt like a stranger in my own home"

'Now you care"

"It made me feel good'

"He cared"

The truth is she did it multiple times because she could. Cheaters lie to themselves don't forget. If she was having her brains f**ked out she would not admit that to me. They lie in that they seek to minimise, reduce and in my case forget. Over time they lose sight of whatever the truth was.

At this distance of 6 months or so I am firmly of the belief that she was typically more taken by the EA side of it - par for the course for Fems apparently. The physical attraction is very clear having read the correspondence (a lot of flattery from her) but she needed to be admired and wanted - desired.

One VAR session with her GF's revealed this line "He used to call me and ask - How's your day" Then she kind of sighed. That was significant for her, that he cared. And to think we religiously spoke twice day through all this and the years before. not the sort of "care" she needed.


----------



## BetrayedDad

"You're a nice guy.... On paper."


----------



## troysdad1

Mine has had a priceless one the last few weeks after getting in touch with OM.

" He has a girlfriend, I am happy for him at least he is happy"
Fine the first time but i have lost count how many times its been said


----------



## Horizon

RWB said:


> After caught, my wife TT for a few days... weeks. She was in full defense mode, trying to downplay her affairs as in they really meant nothing. I got this line one day...
> 
> *"I just want you to know, I never had an orgasm when I had sex with them."
> *
> 
> Hoo Boy! that really took the edge off the pain. What cheaters are thinking when caught is really beyond rational understanding.


I got that one as well - sure you didn't


----------



## arbitrator

*All of this "rational thinking" in making up the excuses for committing adultery outside of marriage is just so damn stupidly skewed and self-serving.

It greatly reminds me of when my XW's trashy little daughter(18 at the time) went to a tattoo emporium, got herself "a tramp stamp" as well as her upper arms both heavily tatted. XW raised holy hell because she monitored her credit card given to this daughter and saw charges on there for nearly 1K. XW asked daughter, "Why did you spend my money for trash like that?"

Daughter's cool reply was, "Well, Mom! Don't sweat it! You've got plenty. Besides, I got it on a 'buy one, get one free' coupon. Now you can't say that I'm not being economical with your money."

Long story short ~ the XW bought it.

Moral of story ~ a lot of BS's are buying the same stupid reasons for cheating that the WS's are throwing at them! 

My God! What a bunch of lemmings!*


----------



## Daisy10

This thread is so good, but I can't finish it! (so long) 
One question though, what does this mean?...



verpin zal said:


> *"ilybinilwy"*​


----------



## verpin zal

i love you but i'm not in love with you.

The classic of the classics.


----------



## Daisy10

verpin zal said:


> i love you but i'm not in love with you.
> 
> The classic of the classics.


Ahh. If someone said this to me, I would take that as a sign that our relationship is over and it's time to end it.


----------



## arbitrator

daisy10 said:


> ahh. If someone said this to me, i would take that as a sign that our relationship is over and it's time to end it.


*Ka-ching!*


----------



## MattMatt

Daisy10 said:


> Ahh. If someone said this to me, I would take that as a sign that our relationship is over and it's time to end it.


Or a sign your spouse is suffering from a major depression or a mid life crisis, but with no cheating.

Sometimes things are more complicated than we think.


----------



## browneyes74

My STBX and I got into again this weekend about him cheating.. Still denying it.. 

When the housemaid from South America came up, and how his "buddy" that he was confiding in, told everyone at his family's company that it wasn't just a fling, they had a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship and went on dates, etc.. 

His first response.. "I told you, she didn't speak English all that well, that wouldn't have been possible." To which I replied, "and yet, she grasped enough English to send you 'sorry baby, I just need to see you tonight.'" 

And then he comes back with, "why are you listening to people that you never talked to before or had anything to do with? You never listened to these people before!" 

Oh, okay then.. That proves your innocence..


----------



## MattMatt

browneyes74 said:


> My STBX and I got into again this weekend about him cheating.. Still denying it..
> 
> When the housemaid from South America came up, and how his "buddy" that he was confiding in, told everyone at his family's company that it wasn't just a fling, they had a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship and went on dates, etc..
> 
> His first response.. "I told you, she didn't speak English all that well, that wouldn't have been possible." To which I replied, "and yet, she grasped enough English to send you 'sorry baby, I just need to see you tonight.'"
> 
> And then he comes back with, "why are you listening to people that you never talked to before or had anything to do with? You never listened to these people before!"
> 
> Oh, okay then.. That proves your innocence..


His buddy, why would he spread it around about your husband's affair? Seems a bit weird. For a buddy.

Is there anyone who can verify the buddy's version?


----------



## Horizon

Daisy10 said:


> This thread is so good, but I can't finish it! (so long)
> One question though, what does this mean?...


Dear Daisy10 - the response to that cheaters classic could be....

IHMDBNIKYAAM

"I had my doubts but now I know you are a moron"

Other well aimed retorts most welcome....


----------



## BetrayedDad

verpin zal said:


> i love you but i'm not in love with you.
> 
> The classic of the classics.


Translation: There is nothing wrong with you. I'm just a selfish immature person who is too weak to be in a monogomous relationship. I let my lustful needs and desires dictate who I should be with at any given moment and I have no concept of what real love is.


----------



## Daisy10

MattMatt said:


> Or a sign your spouse is suffering from a major depression or a mid life crisis, but with no cheating.
> 
> Sometimes things are more complicated than we think.


I just don't think that can be recovered from. When someone falls out of love they don't fall back in again 



Horizon said:


> Dear Daisy10 - the response to that cheaters classic could be....
> 
> IHMDBNIKYAAM
> 
> "I had my doubts but now I know you are a moron"
> 
> Other well aimed retorts most welcome....


Lol!

I'd probably say "The feeling is mutual. What a relief that you said it first!"


----------



## MattMatt

Unless they are so depressed that they are numb and only think they are not in love?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## browneyes74

MattMatt said:


> His buddy, why would he spread it around about your husband's affair? Seems a bit weird. For a buddy.
> 
> Is there anyone who can verify the buddy's version?


This "buddy" of his, and yeah, I use the term loosely, works at his family's company.. STBXH admitted to me that he was confiding in said buddy about our marriage.. This guy was apparently gossiping about it at work.. which happens to be owned by members of husband's family.. so.. it got back to his family.. apparently, there was even a discussion about it on facebook, which got back to STBX's dad, who confronted STBX.. I wouldn't have known ANY of this, except that STBX assumed it was ME and read me the riot act, accusing my family of telling his dad, etc.. My family ran into his dad, and his dad told my brother in law that it was all over the company and had been for months.. Nice... 

So, STBX's own FATHER verified that buddy was telling this story all over the company... And yes, that is my life.. :scratchhead:


----------



## Horizon

"I didn't plan it"


----------



## Vega

Horizon said:


> "I didn't plan it"


Yeah. A variation of "It just happened". 

They didn't "plan" on typing the letters on the keyboard.
They didn't "plan" on creating words with those letters.
They didn't "plan" on stringing words together to create sentences.
They didn't "plan" on hitting the 'send' button.
They didn't "plan" on hiding their 'relationship' from us. 
They didn't "plan" on staying up all hours of the night and texting, sexting or just 'chatting' with the AP. 
They didn't "plan on meeting the AP, or having sex in his/her car. 
They didn't "plan" on unzipping their pants or removing their shirt. 
They didn't "plan" on telling the AP how "wonderful, terrific, spectacular, awesome, great, outstanding, special, stupendous, 'honest' (ha!), hardworking, a 'great dad' or a 'great mother'" they are. 
They didn't "plan" on deceiving us about the extent of their 'relationship' with the AP. 

Yet they ALL made the same decision to engage in behavior that they KNEW would be hurtful to us if we were standing next to them while they were doing it. 

They all made the same decision to CONTINUE to engage in hurtful behavior after the FIRST time they crossed that line of "impropriety". 

Once they got their first taste of ego-kibbles, they wanted MORE. 

They.

Didn't.

Plan.

It.

My.

Azz.


Vega


----------



## now_awake

"All her friends abandoned her. I felt bad for her."

"I saw sex with a prostitute as a business transaction."

"I didn't want anyone instead of you." (meaning, he wanted me first, along with lots of others. Classic cake eater.)


----------



## Racer

Actually, what’s sad is I now know what the ILYBNILWY really means. I feel that way. She’s a family member and loved like that. But no longer a “crush” or do I have a “draw” toward her.

Another standard; “Please don’t call his wife. I don’t want to wreck his marriage too!” Oh... ok, he was fine wrecking mine though and you are ok with that and protecting his?


----------



## Horizon

and this after the low-life POSOM sent my WS a text saying that I was stalking his family and that he would call the Police.

"What are you doing?....you are stalking him"

and weeks later "You are stalking his wife now"

I interpreted this as her protecting the POSOM. It wasn't a plea for me to cease making revelations it was put to me as condemnation for my actions. I said "What, you're f**king defending him now?"

Silence.

She was.


----------



## F-102

"I didn't mean to...it just happened!"

Well then, when the WS gets handed the D papers, the BS can say:

"I didn't mean to file for D, but I was walking by a lawyer's office, and it just happened."


----------



## Philat

"Hey, I'm a victim here too, you know."

Casting the OM/OW in the role of aggressor.


----------



## now_awake

MissFroggie said:


> OMG!!!! Try putting that through your tax return :wtf:


Seriously! The mind boggles at this stuff. He still maintains that he only set up a meeting but didn't go. Who knows, but at least I don't have mind movies about these 'business' meetings. He does admit to how insane it all sounds.


----------



## now_awake

verpin zal said:


> Upon confrontation: "...and she said "I don't love him. In fact I never did and I hate him now"."


I got this one too. It still confuses me. Really, after a 5 year long 'friendship', you can just turn off your emotions just like that? Even with all he did, I haven't been able to completely stop caring for him. I wish I could be that talented.


----------



## F-102

Philat said:


> "Hey, I'm a victim here too, you know."
> 
> Casting the OM/OW in the role of aggressor.


Then:

"No one put a gun to your head to cheat. You had a choice: you could have said 'No'- and walked away. Now you're begging me to forgive you and act like nothing happened. Well now, I have a choice: and I'm going to say 'No'...

...and walk away."


----------



## TryingToRecover

"You just didn't make time for me."

Yes, it was difficult to find time between our 19yo son being deployed to Afghanistan, taking my dear father off life support and then throwing together a funeral and managing his estate matters over the next year. Throw in teaching our then 16yo how to drive, dealing with grief and depression over my dad. All while I continued to work FT. Then you obliterating the rest of our world by having an affair with your twit coworker. Perhaps if you had lifted a finger around here and stuffed your selfishness where the sun certainly doesn't shine, I might have had more time to worry about you. Instead I just assumed you were an adult and could manage. Guess I was wrong. 

"You weren't getting any help for your depression."

Therapy and AD's don't take away worrying about our son being in Afghanistan, doesn't undo the memories of watching my dad die, nor un-know what I learned about your affair. Sorry for not getting with the program!

There were a few other gold nuggets but those two took the cake for me at the time. Absolutely reeks of his selfishness and entitlement. Ugh.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## BetrayedDad

TryingToRecover said:


> Yes, it was difficult to find time between our 19yo son being deployed to Afghanistan, taking my dear father off life support and then throwing together a funeral and managing his estate matters over the next year. Throw in teaching our then 16yo how to drive, dealing with grief and depression over my dad.


I found out about my wife's affair 5 weeks after my dad died. She was well into the mist of it when we attended the funeral. All of my family noticed how cold she was. I literally had to force her to pay her respects. I guess people dying can be a downer when your in fantasyland.


----------



## DoveEnigma13

verpin zal said:


> "I had severe childhood problems. So instead of seeking help or communicating with you or anybody else, I decided that it was OK to fvck your life up as well."


This one stands out as the biggest in my situation.

The blameshifting was the other one. That something I did caused it.

"I'm sorry you were hurt so bad." Not taking ownership after being caught. During counceling she got irate that I was emotional. She followed the script to the letter.

I haven't seen it on here, but she said my penis was too big and didn't enjoy sex with me. That one was pretty laughable.


----------



## BetrayedDad

DoveEnigma13 said:


> I haven't seen it on here, but she said my penis was too big and didn't enjoy sex with me. That one was pretty laughable.


I heard that one too... I guess she enjoyed his small pr!ck more.

I also got, "I never orgasmed with him."

"A few times he couldn't get it up." (Come to find out he has ED)

"He didn't seem that experienced." blah, blah


So what made you keep sleeping with him I asked?

It was good because it was, "hot and heavy."

Apparently she likes to be bitten, brusied and scratched.

Thanks for letting me know... 


Basically it was good cause it was someone else besides me.


----------



## tristeza

Denial first: "She's just a friend." "I can't let you see the email because she told me about something that happened to her and I promised never to tell anyone."
"Her family is very demonstrative. They all say "I love you" to everyone all the time.
"I tried to stop the affair many times."
"It's over. I will never contact her again. I love only you."


----------



## Vulcanized

She's just a friend

I can't trust you anymore (b/c I read the disgusting texts)

It's ALL your fault

I never meant for it to happen

You have destroyed everything :scratchhead::scratchhead::scratchhead:

I've wanted a divorce for the last 3 years (although 1 month prior 
HE was planning our vow renewal. ABROAD)

She makes me feel good about myself :rofl::rofl::rofl: (encouraging XH to lie, cheat & after DD, torture me)


----------



## russell28

Vulcanized said:


> She's just a friend
> 
> I can't trust you anymore (b/c I read the disgusting texts)
> 
> It's ALL your fault
> 
> I never meant for it to happen
> 
> You have destroyed everything :scratchhead::scratchhead::scratchhead:
> 
> I've wanted a divorce for the last 3 years (although 1 month prior
> *HE was planning our vow renewal*. ABROAD)
> 
> She makes me feel good about myself :rofl::rofl::rofl: (encouraging XH to lie, cheat & after DD, torture me)


A few times during my wife's A I wanted to renew vows.. of course I was told that's stupid and a waste of money etc.. I think wanting to renew was me trying to do something to try to get closer to my wife. I can see now why she wouldn't want to do it.. I can't even begin to imagine how he could plan it, wow.. talk about compartmentalization. It boggles the mind how people can continue to function like that.


----------



## F-102

"Men/women have been screwing me over my whole life, so I thought that it was time to get even."


----------



## Horizon

TryingToRecover said:


> "You just didn't make time for me."
> 
> Yes, it was difficult to find time between our 19yo son being deployed to Afghanistan, taking my dear father off life support and then throwing together a funeral and managing his estate matters over the next year. Throw in teaching our then 16yo how to drive, dealing with grief and depression over my dad. All while I continued to work FT. Then you obliterating the rest of our world by having an affair with your twit coworker. Perhaps if you had lifted a finger around here and stuffed your selfishness where the sun certainly doesn't shine, I might have had more time to worry about you. Instead I just assumed you were an adult and could manage. Guess I was wrong.
> 
> "You weren't getting any help for your depression."
> 
> Therapy and AD's don't take away worrying about our son being in Afghanistan, doesn't undo the memories of watching my dad die, nor un-know what I learned about your affair. Sorry for not getting with the program!
> 
> There were a few other gold nuggets but those two took the cake for me at the time. Absolutely reeks of his selfishness and entitlement. Ugh.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Wow, I can relate to this. It might surprise you but it was only recently (7 months since DDay) that I realised that I had spent a good part of the last few years dealing with my fractured family, my Father's crimes against his gran daughters and later his death. Somehow I had lost focus on this fact amid all the fallout of her affair and the blame shifting to me. 

When it finally dawned on me how my increasing depression was exacerbated very much from these incidents as much as my abusive upbringing I was even more angered. I had overlooked the obvious. Tellingly when I mentioned it recently, during a heated argument, my WS dismissed it as of limited consequence.

Says a lot about her - she went through all of it with me!


----------



## Daisy10

What about the cheater talking down about their new "friend" to their wife/husband in an attempt to thwart any suspicious the wife/husband may develop?


----------



## MattMatt

Daisy10 said:


> What about the cheater talking down about their new "friend" to their wife/husband in an attempt to thwart any suspicious the wife/husband may develop?


Or saying: "I'd like to introduce xxxx to you. I really think you'll like him!"

Oh, wait, that doesn't often happen, does it?:rofl:

I can smile about that, now...


----------



## FormerSelf

Me: I know what you have been up to...I talked to the OM on the phone.
Her: What did you tell him?
ME: I told him that I knew...that he needs to back off and attend to his own family.
Her: What did he say?
Me: That you guys were just friends.
Her: He WHAT?!

ME: Okay, this needs to end. I'm calling his wife.
HER: Don't do that! It will ruin him!!


----------



## Aaronsmid

verpin zal said:


> "I had severe childhood problems. So instead of seeking help or communicating with you or anybody else, I decided that it was OK to fvck your life up as well."


This so captures my life. If I really believed in Karma etc I'd think I must have done something real bad in a past life to have walked into this.


----------



## darklilly23

"You wanted me to do something that was impossible, you wanted me to not want to talk to the OW"

"I was never interested in the OW until your insecurity made me get interested in her"

" You destroyed my life all over a phone call that was only going to help a old friend in pain"


_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Horizon

I never wanted to be with him, I wanted to be with you

I wanted it to be you (still cracks me up)

It wasn't planned

If I was in love with him why am i with you?

I could have cheated over the Xmas holidays if I wanted to and you wouldn't have known - but I didn't.

By shutting me out you cheated on me


----------



## RWB

Horizon said:


> *It wasn't planned*


My wife took my teenage daughter and some of her friends to FL for a short spring vacation. Drove 350 miles to the beach. Found out she met OM there for a weekend of sex in his hotel. 

He just "happened" to be in same city, same time. I asked her how long had you schemed that one up?

*"It wasn't planned... it just happened".*

She really thought I would believe this


----------



## verpin zal

This has been reported to have been uttered by waywards, or directly from the waywards themselves so many times here on TAM now it's eligible to be put on a pedestal on our hall of shame -

"..*I just wish I could turn back time*" (plus some additional crap from the oral cavity)

equals "I just wish I could turn back time to prevent you/him/her from finding out, to be more secretive about it and/or to be a little more careful."


----------



## Horizon

"What's the point of talking about it, you don't believe a word I say"

Correct!


----------



## bigtone128

I have plenty.....
Mine said to our youngest son..
"It is so nice to have someone who is not insecure like your father."
hhmm last time I checked - which was well over a year and a half ago - he posted on her fb...."trying to domesticate her - it isn't easy but I'll get it done."
karma....


----------



## confusedFather

They don't understand how long it takes the BS to get over it.

Trying to ask some questions the other day I got the "I wish you would get over it; I have" line.

I'm so glad you got over what you did.


----------



## MaBi123

I'm sure someone already said this one but...

"You weren't fulfilling my needs"


----------



## Horizon

confusedFather said:


> They don't understand how long it takes the BS to get over it.
> 
> Trying to ask some questions the other day I got the "I wish you would get over it; I have" line.
> 
> I'm so glad you got over what you did.


Damn aholes (apologies to your WS - sort of). This is a pet bugbear of mine because it happened to me - more than once this year.

"You need to get over it"

"Get over it! - I have" 

"I got over that before you found out, I was over it (him) way before you knew"

My comeback was late but profound. The last time she said that - always said with a certain vindictiveness during an argument - I sized her up and asked: "Exactly what is it that you have got over?"

Silence

Let me fill you in darling. You've got over feelings of guilt and other sh!t that was going around in your head. In fact you got over it so quick that ironically the man you so purport to want to rebuild your life with is a shining beacon like reminder of the very sh!t you got over!

Infidelity as a a symbol (there's my new CWI thread) A snake swallowing it's own tail.


----------



## russell28

confusedFather said:


> They don't understand how long it takes the BS to get over it.
> 
> Trying to ask some questions the other day I got the "I wish you would get over it; I have" line.
> 
> I'm so glad you got over what you did.


That would piss me off.. I'd have a list of "do you know what I wish?" after that one...


----------



## arbitrator




----------



## Adelais

WH: "There is no one else."
Me: "Are you asking for a D?"
WH: "Yes. I haven't L you in 5 years."

There was someone else. Now he says he was in the A fog, and he did L me, but he was rewriting his M history so he wouldn't feel bad about what he was doing.


----------



## russell28

MissFroggie said:


> One guy who was cheating on me said to me, *"It's only text messages, so you're cheating on me too!"* I had no clue what he was talking about because I wasn't doing anything at all. His phone was top secret but he'd monitor mine too so any texts I'd sent or received he could see anyway. So (obviously) I said I didn't know what he was talking about.
> 
> He said, *"How often do I come into a room and you put down your phone in the middle of texting and then when I check your phone you've deleted all the texts?"*
> 
> That'll be because I wasn't texting - *I was PLAYING POKER!*
> I was playing poker because he wanted me to join the league he was part of.
> He wanted me to join the league so he could keep an eye on me while he played - because I didn't play I would sit outside with the girls and have a beer there while he was inside playing cards.
> He didn't like me having friends (even girls) because he wanted me isolated and didn't want me to be able to tell anyone how abusive he was.
> Of course I put the phone down immediately when he entered the room because otherwise I'd have got all hell break loose for not giving him my undivided attention!
> 
> Everything I was doing was to accommodate his need for complete control and even that was then thrown at me as his justification for cheating! Once he knew I was only playing poker on my phone that was the issue of HIS CHEATING dealt with apparently! I tried to bring it up but he said, *"We've been over this before. You know I did it because I thought you were cheating!"* Oh, that's okay then??? Looking back I don't understand the way I would actually enable him to be increasingly abusive...then I remember the fear and the feeling of having no escape and it all makes sense again. I'll never put up with abuse again!


The "thought you were cheating" is because people that are cheating, soon realize that they can't trust themselves, so they probably can't trust others.. they become paranoid. If I'm doing this sleazy stuff, others must all be doing it too.. it must be totally normal to sneak around and lie and cheat, I bet my partner is doing it too... Meanwhile in many cases, the partner is turning down offers and making it clear they are married and off limits... 

I know it's wrong, and I should feel good about doing the right thing.. but part of me wishes I banged every one of them into oblivion, the single ones.. do it at my house, could have let them wear my wifes clothes. I wish I had known the rules we were playing by back then, all those missed opportunities...


----------



## MattMatt

russell28 said:


> The "thought you were cheating" is because people that are cheating, soon realize that they can't trust themselves, so they probably can't trust others.. they become paranoid. If I'm doing this sleazy stuff, others must all be doing it too.. it must be totally normal to sneak around and lie and cheat, I bet my partner is doing it too... Meanwhile in many cases, the partner is turning down offers and making it clear they are married and off limits...
> 
> I know it's wrong, and I should feel good about doing the right thing.. but part of me wishes I banged every one of them into oblivion, the single ones.. do it at my house, could have let them wear my wifes clothes. I wish I had known the rules we were playing by back then, all those missed opportunities...


They would not have liked wearing your wife's clothes. Then they'd have had the stink of the cheater on them, too.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## MattMatt

An update:

From reading a recent post it seems that the Cheater's Script is read and used by both gay and straight cheaters.


----------



## nikoled

I'm pretty new to this at just 4 weeks post D-day, but so far the script seems pretty familiar here. Started with ILYBINILWY. The first thing he said to me once I found the first text message to the OW was, "I only love you". This was followed by lots of denial until I had enough proof that he couldn't deny. Then he was into, "It has nothing to do with you. It is all my fault. I had detached from you because I was avoiding my issues". Now he says that he always loved me and never loved her. He said he didn't love me because he thought I didn't love him. That he thought he loved her, but really just loved the attention she gave him. 

It's all so confusing.


----------



## Horizon

nikoled said:


> I'm pretty new to this at just 4 weeks post D-day, but so far the script seems pretty familiar here. Started with ILYBINILWY. The first thing he said to me once I found the first text message to the OW was, "I only love you". This was followed by lots of denial until I had enough proof that he couldn't deny. Then he was into, "It has nothing to do with you. It is all my fault. I had detached from you because I was avoiding my issues". Now he says that he always loved me and never loved her. He said he didn't love me because he thought I didn't love him. That he thought he loved her, but really just loved the attention she gave him.
> 
> It's all so confusing.


And yet the fact remains - they never mention a damn iota about the "issues", nuthin'. They never feel compelled to deal with the "issues" with the most important person - the one who is on the other side of the "issues". 

Here's a tip - don't believe a single word about "issues' or whatever is said for that fact. They are master bullshi**ers. What person in their right mind thinks that another person would accept the line "I don't love you because I thought you didn't love me"?....he "thought"??!!!!

So the answer to this blancmange of "issues" is to have an affair. You have to love the logic - there are all these "issues" so my answer is to create one hell of an "issue" to fix it.

You deserve better - much better.


----------



## WhiteRaven

nikoled said:


> I'm pretty new to this at just 4 weeks post D-day, but so far the script seems pretty familiar here. Started with ILYBINILWY. The first thing he said to me once I found the first text message to the OW was, "I only love you". This was followed by lots of denial until I had enough proof that he couldn't deny. Then he was into, "It has nothing to do with you. It is all my fault. I had detached from you because I was avoiding my issues". Now he says that he always loved me and never loved her. He said he didn't love me because he thought I didn't love him. That he thought he loved her, but really just loved the attention she gave him.
> 
> It's all so confusing.


He did it b/c he thought he could get away with it. You weren't supposed to know.

It's confusing b/c you are still trying to understand his behavior to justify his actions. You are still thinking he can't be so bad, he still loves me. Don't do this to yourself.


----------



## russell28

WhiteRaven said:


> He did it b/c he thought he could get away with it. You weren't supposed to know.
> 
> It's confusing b/c you are still trying to understand his behavior to justify his actions. You are still thinking he can't be so bad, he still loves me. Don't do this to yourself.



"This was so unexpected
I never thought I'd get caught "

-Garbage


----------



## WhiteRaven

russell28 said:


> "This was so unexpected
> I never thought I'd get caught "
> 
> -Garbage


Cheaters are always shocked when caught as they think they are so f*cking smart, no one can catch them.


----------



## movealong

Just wanted to get most of these in one place for easy access.:

I love you, but I'm no longer in love with you.
I swear on the lives of my children/mom/dad
I need some privacy
You are twisting my words
Claims that the marriage has been "bad" for x number of months/years, though never tried to help the problem beforehand.
Immediate denial, blameshifting, and claims of innocence. They are often also accusatory toward you with maybe you are having an affair, or are controlling or paranoid and jealous. Privacy suddenly becomes a really big deal to them. They will put on YOU the defensive. This is called deflection.
There is almost an immediate purge of anything they think might incriminate starting with emails and text messages. They also quickly password everything if they haven’t already. 
"They have some family problems and I'm helping them out."
"She just got a family matter and needs to talk."
"She's going through a hard time and just needs a friend"
The spouse whom the walk away spouse promised to "love, honor and cherish" is suddenly not worth the effort.
All of those endearing qualities that made the walk away spouse fall in love with the you are now immature, annoying and repulsive.
When ‘you’ may have said no, disagreed or had their own opinion, they are now "selfish, controlling and abusive".
If the BS liked to have a drink or a beer every now and then, suddenly they were a "raging alcoholic".
"You're paranoid" 
"It's all in your head" 
Lots of anger and shifting blame or attention to you instead of having a normal conversation.
"I don't have a life!"
"I'm so unhappy!" or I need to find my happiness
Answering with a question - How can you think that of me? What sort of person do you think I am?
We (meaning you and me) have grown apart.
We (meaning you and me) have lack of intimacy.
I need space.
You are controlling.
You never took me anywhere
Refusing marriage counseling and wants to "focus on the future" rather than "dwell on the past". This is a red flag she fears her affair being discovered by the therapist who might be able to read her mind or who has enough experience to see the warning signs which the BS is missing.
Attending MC and doing just the minimum to keep the BS thinking she wants to save the marriage. In reality she is not making a genuine effort.
Responding to questions about suspicious events with anger, counter accusations, and calling the BS paranoid or having "trust issues".
I never meant to hurt you
"You're crazy.. You're listening to people you talk to online again, aren't you?" 
'Now you care"
"How often do I come into a room and you put down or shield your phone in the middle of texting and then when I ask about it you've deleted all the texts?"

I have heard quite a few of these. But, since I really am an alcoholic, I attributed a lot to my drinking. I have no proof, and it is moot now, but eventually the truth will come out.


----------



## Horizon

and the 4 big lies....

*Are you seeing someone? - "Oh yeah, when would I get time for that?" (They've got plenty of time)

*What is this Hotmail account all about? - "What is Hotmail? I don't know what it is. What are you talking about?" (This from a long term savvy PC user)

*This is your work computer, you operate it don't you? - "It's an old laptop they gave me. Someone else used this before me. This is their stuff" (Yes, really. Lying writ large. The unknown side of your LTR partner emerging)

*Did you f**k this bloke? - "No, he's an old work colleague from -----. We met up for coffee. I just pecked him on the cheek" (She actually tried that one on me as I looked in her eyes at close range. But her eyes gave it all away. She was busted cold)

All of this was said to me in the first 10 minutes of DDay.


----------



## SamuraiJack

"I think you arent really in love with me...just the idea of being in love with me."

W.T.H...?


----------



## Forest

SamuraiJack said:


> "I think you arent really in love with me...just the idea of being in love with me."
> 
> W.T.H...?


That IS a good one. Not only nonsensical, but with a little dash of self-aggrandizement.


----------



## stunned

movealong said:


> Just wanted to get most of these in one place for easy access.:
> 
> I love you, but I'm no longer in love with you.
> I swear on the lives of my children/mom/dad
> I need some privacy
> You are twisting my words
> Claims that the marriage has been "bad" for x number of months/years, though never tried to help the problem beforehand.
> Immediate denial, blameshifting, and claims of innocence. They are often also accusatory toward you with maybe you are having an affair, or are controlling or paranoid and jealous. Privacy suddenly becomes a really big deal to them. They will put on YOU the defensive. This is called deflection.
> There is almost an immediate purge of anything they think might incriminate starting with emails and text messages. They also quickly password everything if they haven’t already.
> "They have some family problems and I'm helping them out."
> "She just got a family matter and needs to talk."
> "She's going through a hard time and just needs a friend"
> The spouse whom the walk away spouse promised to "love, honor and cherish" is suddenly not worth the effort.
> All of those endearing qualities that made the walk away spouse fall in love with the you are now immature, annoying and repulsive.
> When ‘you’ may have said no, disagreed or had their own opinion, they are now "selfish, controlling and abusive".
> If the BS liked to have a drink or a beer every now and then, suddenly they were a "raging alcoholic".
> "You're paranoid"
> "It's all in your head"
> Lots of anger and shifting blame or attention to you instead of having a normal conversation.
> "I don't have a life!"
> "I'm so unhappy!" or I need to find my happiness
> Answering with a question - How can you think that of me? What sort of person do you think I am?
> We (meaning you and me) have grown apart.
> We (meaning you and me) have lack of intimacy.
> I need space.
> You are controlling.
> You never took me anywhere
> Refusing marriage counseling and wants to "focus on the future" rather than "dwell on the past". This is a red flag she fears her affair being discovered by the therapist who might be able to read her mind or who has enough experience to see the warning signs which the BS is missing.
> Attending MC and doing just the minimum to keep the BS thinking she wants to save the marriage. In reality she is not making a genuine effort.
> Responding to questions about suspicious events with anger, counter accusations, and calling the BS paranoid or having "trust issues".
> I never meant to hurt you
> "You're crazy.. You're listening to people you talk to online again, aren't you?"
> 'Now you care"
> "How often do I come into a room and you put down or shield your phone in the middle of texting and then when I ask about it you've deleted all the texts?"
> 
> I have heard quite a few of these. But, since I really am an alcoholic, I attributed a lot to my drinking. I have no proof, and it is moot now, but eventually the truth will come out.


Good lord, my wife said so many of these... Does the WS really think we will buy these excuses? She threw the "I need my privacy" (after 27 years of NOT needing any privacy), and the "just a friend who I like to talk to" crap at me and I called bullsh!t on it before she was finished with the sentence.


----------



## stunned

SamuraiJack said:


> "I think you arent really in love with me...just the idea of being in love with me."
> 
> W.T.H...?


Haha yeah, she threw this one at me too on one her "foggier" days. I just calmly asked her if she was insane.


----------



## Nostromo

SamuraiJack said:


> "I think you arent really in love with me...just the idea of being in love with me."


Sleepless In Seattle. 

Wait.....This is the movie quotes thread right? 




PS- For anybody who doesn't 'get' humor, I was merely insinuating that whoever said that particular quote to him must have consumed a lot of mindless entertainment directed towards women i.e. 'chick flicks' to try and pass such vapid nonsense off as 'deep' and insightful.


----------



## Rugs

My husband said, "I didn't think you loved me". And I then said, "I don't"

And that was the only thing that was ever said. I didn't care to hear anymore lies. One lie = one zillion. All respect on my part went out the window and never returned.


----------



## D.H Mosquito

I was lonely (i worked 3 jobs as she wanted time with the children and baby)
Dont be silly he's gay
He made me feel special


----------



## Thinkitthrough

My wife was driving up to a cottage with friend to spend the weekend. I was home with the dog and doing a system restore on the computer she had given to me when she got a new one. Three folders appeared that I did not recognize, one was a date, one a name and one misc. photos.
I opened the named one and I found a typescript of emails between my wife's email address and a man I did not know. The type script was graphic in detail about sex, the language full of cxnt, cxck puxxy. and I don't recall her ever saying stuff like that to me. Once, early in the marriage I tried to and she shut me down big time.
I phoned her, she had no idea what I found.
Her: Hi, things going good?
Me: WTF is this file "______" (Later she admitted that she knew exactly what I was talking about.
Her: I don't know, its not my file???
Me: Its your email address, and some guy "_______"
Her: Oh that, its research I did for the romance novel I am writing.
Don't read it, you'll get upset
Me: too late, I read it. Research, I don't think so. WTF
Her: you were always accusing me of having affairs, so I had one.
(We were having a hard time and she started going with her work mates to a bar where she got talking to one of the musicians. She started working late and working out at a gym. She lost weight and as a reward bought herself sexy underwear and would sneak out on weekends to see him at various bars. She wouldn't have sex with me and was paying a lot more attention to her looks. On that information I pushed to find out if she was having an affair. At one point she said she was going to take our son and move in with him, but he told her he didn't like kids and didn't want a live in because it would keep him from having sex with other women.)
We argued, I hung up.
Then I opened the next file and under a cover of flower pictures I found 24 pictures of my wife having sex with a man I didn't know, so, back on the phone.
me: hey, what about the stuff in this file "_____"
her: don't look at it and get off the computer.
me: too late
her: that's not me
me:???????
her: I was doing research for my novel
me: don't think so
her: The Doctors said you were dying, and all I did was take you to appointments and put you together so you could go to work, and take care of the house. I needed some fun in my life, a little sunshine in my depression. It didn't mean anything, it was just sex and he's dead.
me: and this makes me feel better about this. (what really sucked was the pictures were really well done, lighting, use of shadows and contrast. he really made her look good. And there was a cream pie shot)
she; I never meant to hurt you, I just needed something and you would never find out about it because you were going to die. And I never loved you, I knew two weeks before we married that I didn't want to be married to you and its been horrible. You know, I'm a very orgasmic girl most of the guys I had sex with when we were separated could make me cum, but you never could. All our sex problems were your fault.
me: click, dial tone.
I found more pictures and videos of him masturbating under the title of "a little dribble for you" 
I called her back with each new discovery and it involved a lot of yelling and fighting and blame shifting
Her: you've got to stop calling every time you find something, you're going to ruin my weekend and "_____" (her friend) is upset by our fighting.
me: Ruined your weekend, what do you think you've ruined.....
Her: I never meant to hurt you, I didn't love him, it was just sex, maybe an hour of sex every week or so (10 months, sex at least 12 times) He was good and made me feel better and you were never meant to find out. You were lousy in bed.
me; click dial tone.
I continued to find bits and pieces and she had turned off her phone, "because I don't want it to run out of energy and not be able to call you." 
The last file was empty, but the title was the date of the first time they got together and had sex. She told me that she would drive over to his place, have sex and go home. A couple of times she mentioned restaurants she wanted to go to in the type script but he just stonewalled and they never dated. And he was dead..


----------



## IIJokerII

After I just caught recently caught my Wife sexting another guy, something she swore she'd never do with me, she went on the passive offensive. " I though we were over when we talked about separation so I did it" while still living together. 

Mine also lamented how she has since resented me after I told her to that I was going to force her out and keep the kids after she told me she wanted out. A fair point I suppose. 

However what she failed to acknowledge was the month that went by when I was desperate to repair the marriage kill the affair and move on with life. And, ya know, the other stuff like neglecting the children, no showers, dirty clothes everywhere, house all messed up..... I am the A-hole for wanting them taken care of.


----------



## Calibre1212

"If you never divorced me this wouldn't have happened" (Uh-huh, OW caused the first divorce I just didn't know she was in the marriage 5 years prior to the divorce)..."It was because you divorced me, why I slept with OOW" (the other other woman, without a condom), "I didn't know she was going to answer the door the first time I went to her place, wearing a French maid lingerie." ...:sleeping:


----------



## wmn1

Thinkitthrough said:


> My wife was driving up to a cottage with friend to spend the weekend. I was home with the dog and doing a system restore on the computer she had given to me when she got a new one. Three folders appeared that I did not recognize, one was a date, one a name and one misc. photos.
> I opened the named one and I found a typescript of emails between my wife's email address and a man I did not know. The type script was graphic in detail about sex, the language full of cxnt, cxck puxxy. and I don't recall her ever saying stuff like that to me. Once, early in the marriage I tried to and she shut me down big time.
> I phoned her, she had no idea what I found.
> Her: Hi, things going good?
> Me: WTF is this file "______" (Later she admitted that she knew exactly what I was talking about.
> Her: I don't know, its not my file???
> Me: Its your email address, and some guy "_______"
> Her: Oh that, its research I did for the romance novel I am writing.
> Don't read it, you'll get upset
> Me: too late, I read it. Research, I don't think so. WTF
> Her: you were always accusing me of having affairs, so I had one.
> (We were having a hard time and she started going with her work mates to a bar where she got talking to one of the musicians. She started working late and working out at a gym. She lost weight and as a reward bought herself sexy underwear and would sneak out on weekends to see him at various bars. She wouldn't have sex with me and was paying a lot more attention to her looks. On that information I pushed to find out if she was having an affair. At one point she said she was going to take our son and move in with him, but he told her he didn't like kids and didn't want a live in because it would keep him from having sex with other women.)
> We argued, I hung up.
> Then I opened the next file and under a cover of flower pictures I found 24 pictures of my wife having sex with a man I didn't know, so, back on the phone.
> me: hey, what about the stuff in this file "_____"
> her: don't look at it and get off the computer.
> me: too late
> her: that's not me
> me:???????
> her: I was doing research for my novel
> me: don't think so
> her: The Doctors said you were dying, and all I did was take you to appointments and put you together so you could go to work, and take care of the house. I needed some fun in my life, a little sunshine in my depression. It didn't mean anything, it was just sex and he's dead.
> me: and this makes me feel better about this. (what really sucked was the pictures were really well done, lighting, use of shadows and contrast. he really made her look good. And there was a cream pie shot)
> she; I never meant to hurt you, I just needed something and you would never find out about it because you were going to die. And I never loved you, I knew two weeks before we married that I didn't want to be married to you and its been horrible. You know, I'm a very orgasmic girl most of the guys I had sex with when we were separated could make me cum, but you never could. All our sex problems were your fault.
> me: click, dial tone.
> I found more pictures and videos of him masturbating under the title of "a little dribble for you"
> I called her back with each new discovery and it involved a lot of yelling and fighting and blame shifting
> Her: you've got to stop calling every time you find something, you're going to ruin my weekend and "_____" (her friend) is upset by our fighting.
> me: Ruined your weekend, what do you think you've ruined.....
> Her: I never meant to hurt you, I didn't love him, it was just sex, maybe an hour of sex every week or so (10 months, sex at least 12 times) He was good and made me feel better and you were never meant to find out. You were lousy in bed.
> me; click dial tone.
> I continued to find bits and pieces and she had turned off her phone, "because I don't want it to run out of energy and not be able to call you."
> The last file was empty, but the title was the date of the first time they got together and had sex. She told me that she would drive over to his place, have sex and go home. A couple of times she mentioned restaurants she wanted to go to in the type script but he just stonewalled and they never dated. And he was dead..


This story I read before and I still shake my head over the evil she showed to you. I wonder what she was going to the cabin for ?


----------



## IIJokerII

The three that resonate with me are;

1)
Her; You neglected me by being at work all the time.
Me; Yes I was at work, but I asked you if we needed the money and you said yes, we did, so overtime was needed. I had to go anyway since you always spent more money than I earned on 40 hours so I, We, needed the extra money to cover our needed bills. If you feel neglected why did you put me in a position to have to work more hours and just stop spending money?
Her; That was my way of getting back at you for being at work all the time.....

2) Me; If you are no longer talking to him why is he still a friend of yours on Facebook?
Her; Well, I'm keeping him there to piss you off since I was mad at you and if this blew up I'd have a friend to talk to who understood me.

(Editors note* - Yes, keeping around the AP to agitate me in as well as holding on to him to talk to when sh1t got stressful, by her account, is what we call a self defeating paradox people.)

3) Her, on various occasions; I need to learn how or if I can trust you...............................................................

I cannot write out the inner feelings of this in fear of being banned for life......


----------



## dkphap13

This is the worst one that was said to me 

There was nothing wroung with our relationship I just found some one batter

I have never felt like this about any one in my life 

This is the first time I accualy love them back 

I think off you like my brother :lol::rofl::scratchhead::scratchhead::scratchhead::scratchhead:
So for the past 6 years was doing her brother ??

You are my best friend but I don't think off you that way

I love to smill his hands 

All he has to do is look at me and I get turned on down there no one has ever mad me feel that way 

I did not mean for it to happen it just happened ( they both said that to me )

I wonder if any off you have heard any off this


----------



## RV9

dkphap13 said:


> I think off you like my brother
> 
> So for the past 6 years was doing her brother ??


Hope you aren't with her. She's really perverted.


----------



## dkphap13

Rohitvikash said:


> Hope you aren't with her. She's really perverted.


Nop I am still with her 

Yess I know I am an idiot


----------



## treyvion

dkphap13 said:


> Nop I am still with her
> 
> Yess I know I am an idiot


Are you having sex. It may be an acceptable middle ground. Of course it's not the ideal situation, but if your having sex and you generally get along, it's no need to race out.


----------



## dkphap13

treyvion said:


> Are you having sex. It may be an acceptable middle ground. Of course it's not the ideal situation, but if your having sex and you generally get along, it's no need to race out.


Yes we have sex but she is not that much in to it yet
My story is realy messed up if you realy need to understand me and my wife here it is. 

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/227858-cheaters-cheated.html


----------



## IIJokerII

Damn, I forgot this one, more likely cause I still can't believe I heard it aloud, or at all.

After hearing about how the STBXW dismissed the kids immediately into their rooms or elsewhere in the house so mommy could have alone time, especially one night when she sent them to bed at 5:30 pm for the evening, and just years of checked out mentality, only amplified by her EA, and the mess that accumulated when I was gone, and on and on, more, too much too add right now, I dared say, challenge and label her neglectful and mistreating the kids. 

Apparently I am too, and when I asked how so she said;

Cause you were at work all the time.....Not partying, blowing coke, sleeping around, you get the drift, yes sports fans, apparently going to work to support ones family is a for of neglect. I will burn in hell for this, I just know it.


----------



## SomethingsUp

BS - (Found viagra in his pocket of his suitcase) Asked: Why do you have viagra and empty slots of the pills? 

WS - I used it with us! 

BS - When was that because we don't have sex anymore.

WS - I took it for nothing, I know.


----------



## DayOne

SomethingsUp said:


> BS - (Found viagra in his pocket of his suitcase) Asked: Why do you have viagra and empty slots of the pills?
> 
> WS - I used it with us!
> 
> BS - When was that because we don't have sex anymore.
> 
> WS - I took it for nothing, I know.


Maybe its just me, but your user name, mentioning viagra, made me chuckle...


----------



## SomethingsUp

DayOne said:


> Maybe its just me, but your user name, mentioning viagra, made me chuckle...


LOL thanks! First time I laughed in 2 weeks.


----------



## DayOne

SomethingsUp said:


> LOL thanks! First time I laughed in 2 weeks.



And it's nice have a woman laugh WITH me me, instead of AT me!


----------



## SomethingsUp

DayOne said:


> And it's nice have a woman laugh WITH me me, instead of AT me!


Anytime!


----------



## Marduk

The worst I got with my ex wife was _no_ script.

No red flags except for no sex.

I have no idea how she screwed around on me. I'd drive her to work, meet her for lunch, pick her up from work. Evenings and weekends together. 

Then, one day, buh-bye, we're separating. No, I won't give you a reason. We're just separating.

THAT plays head games with a dude's mind.


----------



## treyvion

marduk said:


> The worst I got with my ex wife was _no_ script.
> 
> No red flags except for no sex.
> 
> I have no idea how she screwed around on me. I'd drive her to work, meet her for lunch, pick her up from work. Evenings and weekends together.
> 
> Then, one day, buh-bye, we're separating. No, I won't give you a reason. We're just separating.
> 
> THAT plays head games with a dude's mind.


Now we as men can accept that "no sex" is a huge red flag, I don't care if your legs are broken.


----------



## murphy5

treyvion said:


> Now we as men can accept that "no sex" is a huge red flag, I don't care if your legs are broken.


your legs can be broken, but so long as a hand or mouth still works....


----------



## marriedman321

F-102 said:


> I always liked the re-writing of marital history.
> 
> The spouse whom the WS promised to "love, honor and cherish" is suddenly not worth the effort.
> 
> All of those endearing qualities that made the WS fall in love with the BS are now immature, annoying and repulsive.
> 
> The WS suddenly realizes, after so many years together, that they never really loved the BS. It only took you so many years to realize that?
> 
> When the BS may have said no, disagreed or had their own opinion, they are now "selfish, controlling and abusive".
> 
> If the BS may have spent money on something for themselves or frivolous in the past, they are now "financially immature and irresponsible".
> 
> If a BS didn't agree with one of the WS's family members in the past, or never really warmed up to one of the WS's friends, and told the WS about it, then they were trying to "isolate" the WS.
> 
> If the BS was content in their job and not really actively pursuing a promotion or raise, then they "lacked ambition" and was therefore a "loser".
> 
> If the BS liked to have a drink or a beer every now and then, suddenly they were a "raging alcoholic".
> 
> If the BS was lenient with raising the children, let the kids play outside alone or they happened to scrape their knees when the WS was not home, then they are "horrible, neglectful parents".
> 
> If the WS had a dream or was considering a career change in the past, and the BS talked them out of it for a good, legitimate reason, then they were "standing in their way" and "holding them back".
> 
> 
> There are many more, but I can't think of any now.


WS tells BS they changed from the man they met. 

WS tells BS they would not let them work. Wanted to "control "them. Even when WW never wanted to and you actually suggested they should. 

Brings up things you did not do for them. Nothing was enough. 

I never loved you. 

You weren't supportive enough in my time of need. No matter how supportive you were. 

"I am not your property"

"You are so arrogant. You think I need another man to leave you?"

No sex 

_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Tomara

If this one has been said, sorry.
"I didn't think I would get caught" and we would go on this way forever. Honest to Pete those were exact words!


----------



## nursejackie

Just thought this deserved to be up front for anyone who hasn't read it


----------



## MAJDEATH

Here's some of the gas-lighting/TT cheater's story I heard:

1 hugs, because that's what good friends do
2 rub his face (did this in front of me), he doesn't mind
3 touched mid-section while slow dancing, noticed some wood coming thru, must have been the song 
4 he saw my bra when I was changing, but no big deal, he's like my brother
5 tired, so took a nap together, spooned with him
6 napped again, only this time I was naked because it was so hot, but he was in his undershorts, so it was OK
7 showed him my naked body after showering at his place, which I do all the time, asked for his opinion on areas of my body I can improve on, but it's OK nothing physical happened
8 BJ or 2, but I kept my eyes closed and it was mostly hand
9 intercourse in car, we used condoms so it's OK
10 intercourse in my house, but it's OK because kid was at grandma's
11 start a new affair and jump to sex first night to try to get rid of the previous one because he got "too obsessed and controlling" with me

There was more, but you get the idea. Everything will be OK as long as I get to keep my cake (security of marriage) and eat it too (OM on the side).


----------



## MattMatt

MAJDEATH said:


> Here's some of the gas-lighting/TT cheater's story I heard:
> 
> 1 hugs, because that's what good friends do
> 2 rub his face (did this in front of me), he doesn't mind
> 3 touched mid-section while slow dancing, noticed some wood coming thru, must have been the song
> 4 he saw my bra when I was changing, but no big deal, he's like my brother
> 5 tired, so took a nap together, spooned with him
> 6 napped again, only this time I was naked because it was so hot, but he was in his undershorts, so it was OK
> 7 showed him my naked body after showering at his place, which I do all the time, asked for his opinion on areas of my body I can improve on, but it's OK nothing physical happened
> 8 BJ or 2, but I kept my eyes closed and it was mostly hand
> 9 intercourse in car, we used condoms so it's OK
> 10 intercourse in my house, but it's OK because kid was at grandma's
> 11 start a new affair and jump to sex first night to try to get rid of the previous one because he got "too obsessed and controlling" with me
> 
> There was more, but you get the idea. Everything will be OK as long as I get to keep my cake (security of marriage) and eat it too (OM on the side).


Dear Lord! That thinking seems to be the sign of a mental disorder! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## MachoMcCoy

"I think he's gay. Everyone else does too."


----------



## MAJDEATH

"All I really wanted was you, but since I couldn't have you, he was a substitute, he even looks like you" - So he was doing me a favor, should I thank him?

"I was always in pain and unhappy (when she was cheating)" - You were in so much pain you kept it going for 3 yrs!

"He started playing head games with me" - The little head!

"He was just a walking dildo" - Buy a vibrator.

"I finally decided to end it by calling his wife, because it wasn't right" - No, you ended it because 1 you caught the cheater cheating on you (also a cheater) with another woman and you were mad/jealous, and 2 your H filed for D, and you thought your cake eating was about to end.


----------



## MAJDEATH

"He agreed to pay all the expenses for me to go sightseeing with him in NYC for a week. I insisted on 5 star hotels, room service, and first class flight because I'm a high priced hooker" (she actually said this, as if I should be happy that he paid premium prices). So you're really a high priced call girl that delivers?


----------



## MattMatt

MAJDEATH said:


> "He agreed to pay all the expenses for me to go sightseeing with him in NYC for a week. I insisted on 5 star hotels, room service, and first class flight because I'm a high priced hooker" (she actually said this, as if I should be happy that he paid premium prices). So you're really a high priced call girl that delivers?


Dear God.


----------



## Deguello

The one I really like is"I know you think I'm having an affair,my wife of 42 years has actually said that to me at least 3 times in your he last year, in the middle of a complete different conversation.
Gee,should I be a little suspicious, 
Deguello


----------



## MattMatt

Deguello said:


> The one I really like is"I know you think I'm having an affair,my wife of 42 years has actually said that to me at least 3 times in your he last year, in the middle of a complete different conversation.
> Gee,should I be a little suspicious,
> Deguello










[/url]via Imgflip Meme Maker[/IMG]


----------



## Sports Fan

His just a friend

Why cant i have friends of the opposite sex?

Your so controlling?

We have the same interests.

He likes all the shows i like all the femanine civilised stuff, not the violence and rubbish you force me to watch

I'm pretty sure his gay and besides even if his not he aint my time.

His just a sweet gentle soul unlike you and you need to stop threatning to bash him. Nothing is going on his just a friend.


----------



## wmn1

"I'm so confused"

"The problem is not you, it's me"

"I did it because I thought you had cheated on me"

""You stopped paying attention to me"


----------



## GusPolinski

Sports Fan said:


> His just a friend
> 
> 
> 
> Why cant i have friends of the opposite sex?
> 
> 
> 
> Your so controlling?
> 
> 
> 
> We have the same interests.
> 
> 
> 
> He likes all the shows i like all the femanine civilised stuff, not the violence and rubbish you force me to watch
> 
> 
> 
> I'm pretty sure his gay and besides even if his not he aint my time.
> 
> 
> 
> His just a sweet gentle soul unlike you and you need to stop threatning to bash him. Nothing is going on his just a friend.



Update your thread recently, @SF?


----------



## WasDecimated

I was bored 
I'm not happy 
You didn't take me to that BBQ...4 years ago :wtf:
I didn't like your new haircut 
We never went anywhere or did anything :bsflag:
I gave up my sense of adventure when I married you and we had children 
I feel like life is passing me by :scratchhead:
He's just a friend 
You didn't have enough friends :wtf:
You didn't go out with your friends enough :wtf:
What's wrong with me having a guy friend? :nono:
We only kissed once :bsflag:
We are incompatible…a mismatch :scratchhead:
It's all your fault :moon:
He was easy to talk to :scratchhead:
I just saw something I liked 
We only talked when we went to the hotels :bsflag:
It didn't happen that often :bsflag:
I don't know what I want 
I will not end up like your mother and father (Happily Married for 54 years) :wtf:
He always treated me nice :scratchhead:
Why are you being judgmental :banghead:
I'm a stubborn b1tch :iagree:


This is all I could come up with in 30 seconds! :rant:


----------



## convert

Decimated said:


> *I will not end up like your mother and father (Happily Married for 54 years)* :wtf:
> Why are you being judgmental :banghead:
> 
> 
> This is all I could come up with in 30 seconds! :rant:


Well I guess she is doing her best not to end up your mother and father:gun:



are you still with her?

and don't be so judgmental next time:ezpi_wink1:


----------



## WasDecimated

convert said:


> Well I guess she is doing her best not to end up your mother and father:gun:
> 
> 
> 
> are you still with her?
> 
> and don't be so judgmental next time:ezpi_wink1:


Nope...divorced for 2 1/2 years.


----------



## bandit.45

"I asked you to dress up as a circus clown when we had sex and you wouldn't! Bwahhhhhhhhhh!"


----------



## MAJDEATH

"You acted like you were doing me a favor by marrying me" - When we met she was homeless, living in her car. Now she lives in a high-end house, get whatever she wants, and doesn't have to work

"You always though you were superior to me" - Depends on which category, but generally yes.

"He appreciates the real me" - If you mean banging a drunk, unemployed artist in her husbands house, then yes, I guess so.

"You two are so alike, you would like him as a good friend. - I guess we were alike in that we were both attracted to the same woman


----------



## MountainRunner

Hmm...My response was more like "There is something seriously wrong with my head and I need to find out what it is."


----------



## 3putt

bandit.45 said:


> "I asked you to dress up as a circus clown when we had sex and you wouldn't! Bwahhhhhhhhhh!"


Somehow it always comes back around to the clowns.


----------



## bandit.45

3putt said:


> Somehow it always comes back around to the clowns.


And midgets....


----------



## MattMatt

bandit.45 said:


> "I asked you to dress up as a circus clown when we had sex and you wouldn't! Bwahhhhhhhhhh!"


Whatever you do Bandit, *do not* search Bing for 'Clown Porn'!  :wtf: :rofl:


----------



## Goodwoman

"Other people have done worse and the BS stayed."

"I didn't actual sleep with any of them."

After finding a text where he was thinking about her in a meeting and wanted her to send a pic..."That didn't mean anything. You are the only one I want. I didn't sleep with her."

"You never wanted me." Really?! I put up with this bull for years.

Oh, and now that it is over, "It takes two. You have to open up." Or, "I'm done trying." Sorry, no more chances. You didn't try the other 5 times, so why do I owe you anything now.


----------



## Threeblessings

What if you weren't told why? The H told the girl he cheated with that he was leaving me or wasn't married. That's the problem. Couples have issues and instead of sorting it out together it becomes too much for one and they seek solace somewhere else. I would rather he left me first and then screwed around with the slag (can't even call her a lady)!.

Edited to add - when confronted about sleeping with her he said they did not. They did everything else but this! 2 years later I found out they slept together. Apparently he was protecting me from hurting more???? I always said the truth always comes out! It blew the whole thing out of the water again. I was concerned about STD's and went for a check up. I didn't catch anything BUT the part that broke me was 'we used condoms'!!!!


----------



## honcho

bandit.45 said:


> And midgets....


We had an event once at work and had midget wrestlers. I never saw the owners wife so happy spending time with them......hmmmm


----------



## Granny7

Forgive me if these are on here. I just found this great site and wanted to add some.

"I never stopped loving you while I was with her."

"I never thought that I was being dis-respectful to you by having an affair with her."

"When I took her to the same hotel, I didn't think about us going there for our anniversary."

"I never put my tongue in her mouth, that was to personal."

"I only touched the very top of her breast since we were not going to have sex and I didn't want to look like less of a man by not doing anything to her."

"He always bought her a birthday card and lunch for her birthday for 3 yrs., yet she never did anything for his, where was his pride?"

"He can't remember who suggested the weekends, her or him?

That's all I can remember for right now.

Granny7


----------



## bandit.45

honcho said:


> We had an event once at work and had midget wrestlers. I never saw the owners wife so happy spending time with them......hmmmm


Never underestimate the sex appeal of a little person...


----------



## MAJDEATH

"The whole time we were apart, I was always sad and depressed and just hoping you would come back and make things right. " - of course the sadness and depression did not affect her choice to have multiple relationships, some lasting years!


----------

