# Cheating Wife, what to do?



## Skyinthemoon (Nov 7, 2014)

*Cheating Wife, help needed.*

Since 2012 I had suspected that my with of 7 years(back then) was having an affair. I had followed all the tell tail signs of picking up SMS's between friends, her locking her phone, her coming home late etc, a classic scenario that we all hear of. She was guilty of it all. For 2 years I was besides myself with worry as I never knew if my accusations were accurate as they were always answered with ranting and swearing etc. Slowly but surely I dug a hole and started to bury myself in my situation, thought of nothing else all day and worried what she was up to when I never knew where she was. 

She had a friend that visited the her mother in our country every 3 months or so. Every time this friend visited, my wife would change. I would pick it up in her attitude and the way that she spoke to the kids and I. Coincidentally, every time this friend visited, I could not stand being around my wife as the suspicion and incidences of her activities intensified and she carried on like she was not married at all. 

In March this year, I got my wife drunk on beer. When she drinks beer, at a certain stage, no matter what you ask her, the true will come spilling out of her. I sprung the question on her about a text that I had read in her phone. Well she just broke down and told me about two men that she had had sex with and one had made her pregnant and she had aborted. 

After 2 years of not knowing whether or what she was up to to finally hearing exactly what I wanted to hear was like someone ripping your soul out and jumping on it. I don't know if it was worth finding out the truth as since then, I can't touch my wife, I can't trust her and most of all, I can't even speak a nice kind word to her. 

I know that she has probably told me only enough to satisfy my mental state and I am sure that there is a lot more than she let's on to but I don't know how to deal with what I know. I certainly don't want anymore news or reports as I would not be able to deal with that. 

I just don't know what to do or think anymore. I am so confused. Our company is suffering as we can't work together. Someone out there that has experienced this please guide me. I am lost.

Skyinthemoon.


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

Sky

Like chap said you need a plan.

Are you in the uS or Europe?

Does your wife have a job?

How many kids and how old are they?

How old are you and your wife?

And the excuse she uses about you not paying attention to her is BS.

The fact that she cheated with two men and had unprotected sex multiples that resulted in a pregnancy/abortion speaks volumes about her mental state, lack of boundaries and absolutely no respect for you or the marriage is really, really bad.

For both of you.

Keep all your posts in one thread. The advice will be more consistent.

Sorry you are here by the way.

HM


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## IIJokerII (Apr 7, 2014)

Whoa, dude, this is rough to take in. The first question you need to figure out is what is it that you want to do? No need to provide more details as of yet until you ask yourself this question, which only you can answer. And make sure you have accepted what happened, accept it as her fault, not yours, but it did happen. Start from there.


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## Skyinthemoon (Nov 7, 2014)

Thanks for that.

I am a white South African that lives in Ghana. She is a Russian/Ghanaian. I am 51 she is 40. Will live with her daughter(18) that I have "adopted" and we have an 8 year old between us.

I am at a loss what to do as I am past the anger now want to work on the future. We run our family business together. 

How do I thread a post?


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

Marriage takes two to work.

If she has not changed her cheating behavior, remorseful, no contact with the OMs, working hard on the marriage, it is time to send her back to her Mom.


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## syhoybenden (Feb 21, 2013)

It's time to show her the door my friend and explain how to use it.

You're still young enough to move on.

Don't drag it out till you're not.


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## IIJokerII (Apr 7, 2014)

Skyinthemoon said:


> Thanks for that.
> 
> I am a white South African that lives in Ghana. She is a Russian/Ghanaian. I am 51 she is 40. Will live with her daughter(18) that I have "adopted" and we have an 8 year old between us.
> 
> ...


 Alright, lets try this again. What do you want to do. Not what you think, what other's think, or feel or what your Wife thinks or feels, or you marriage counselor, or Therapist, the Garbage, the neighbor, the Dog, Oprah....... What do you want to do, shoot from the hip, I ask" Sky, what do you want to do?" You say.......????????????????????


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## Skyinthemoon (Nov 7, 2014)

I am currently waiting to hear about a job offer in another town. If I secure that, I want to move there and have some out time alone to think. She can continue with the family business here. I feel that deep down inside me, I will not come back.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

See my response in your other nightmare thread. Slightly different wife in that one. But sentiments are the same!


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

Sky

Have you communicated with your wife about moving out? Taking a new job?

And about the possibility that you might not come back?

Have you spoken to an attorney to discuss the possible separation/divorce and how that affects your daughter/home/business that you share with your wife?

I think the separation might be good for you to think but I wonder how your wife will react.....

HM


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## Skyinthemoon (Nov 7, 2014)

happyman64,

I never dreamed that posting my story on here would receive the response that it has received. All the replies are in my head and I think that it is a case of knowing what to do but just wanting to hear from someone else, to hear some other suggestions. I have not told her anything about my moves in the future as I know how she will react. Another reason that she said that she had the affair was because I never included her in the business, well now, she can have the entire business. I am no longer interested. All I want out of life now is happiness. I am sure that I deserve that. 

My other posting about the Gym Instructor has had many hits and comments and they are all the same.

Thanks for your time.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Divorce or reconciliation. Either is possible if she is honest.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

Knocked up by your best ole buddy pal and later doing the gym instructor? You know this woman does not respect you, or give a rats azz about you? Why do you want to spend any more time with a woman who's constantly seeking and finding another man to please her better than you? Is her presents and maybe a mercy f--- once and awhile worth the sacrifice you're making.


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