# Could this be the end?



## Boog8302 (May 15, 2013)

Hello everyone, 

To start off, I have been looking at forums for a long time about my situation and I found that there are a lot of people out there with similar issues. My wife and I have been married for almost 5 years and we have a 2 yr old son. I love my wife and son with all my heart, but last Oct she stated that she did not love me like a wife should lover her husband. I was crushed.

This isn't the first time we have gone through this. We were living in GA after I got out of the ARMY. We came back to Ohio to visit family over the 4th of July in 2011. I had to come back for work, but my wife and son were going to stay there because she had other family coming up from out of state. I was ok with this. She sent me a message a day before our anniversary and said she was not coming back down and needed time and space. I flipped out. The next day I told my boss and I left for 5 days to talk to her. 

To be fair there are a lot of reasons she would leave. When we were in GA I was not the best husband. I have been dealing with an addiction to porn for 16 years. Not that I ever looked at it when she was around, but she knew that I did. I was also mean. I never hit her, but I was emotionally damaging. I would yell at her when we fought or hit myself. I did grab her by the arm one day. That was the only time I got physical and I regret it. I hate myself for it. 

I quit my job (after I had found a new one) and moved back to Ohio. Lost our house in GA, but I didn't care. I was living with my mom at the time and my wife spent a lot of time with me there. We started fixing up my moms rental house and we moved back in together in 2012. 

I thought everything was going great. I felt so much love from my wife. I loved having her and my son back with me. I worked late nights and was going to school, so I tried to value all of the time I had with them. Then things changed. 

In Oct we went on vacation to Tennessee to see her sister. I thought we had fun. When we got back my wife sat me down on the couch after our son was in bed. She broke down and told me she didn't love me the way a wife should. She also told me she didn't know if she ever loved me. 

We coexisted, talking, but there was no affection. She would not kiss me, hug me, or even touch me in bed. She still said she loves me, and she still does to this day. 

In Feb 13 she moved out. She didn't take everything. She took essentials, but nothing major. She is living with her mom, step-father, sister, and more importantly our son. I pick my son up ever Sunday so he can see my family. I tell my wife I love her every time I see her, and she says it back. 

I started a new job that is 8-5 Mon-Fri. My other job was all over the place. I am hoping the normal schedule will help. Both of us go to school full time and she does not work. 

I have asked her before if she wants out of the marriage and she says I don't know. I never get a straight answer. I keep telling myself to give her time and space. I love my wife very much and want her back, but I find myself beginning to tire of not knowing.

I guess this is long enough so here is my question. Should I keep waiting? I tell her that I will wait as long as it takes, but I don't know if I can. We have so many memories together and yes there are some bad ones. What can I do? Should I move on or wait? Does she not know what she wants?

To be fair she hasn't had the best male figures in her life. Her dad left when she was 6, and he turned out to be gay. Her mom found another guy (not her current step-father) and he treated them all like garbage. I feel that there could be some deep seeded feelings there towards men. Just a feeling. 

Sorry this is long, and thank you for any advice.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Stop allowing her to drag you around this way.

Tell her she needs to make up her mind or you're filing for divorce.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

I think she needs to make up her mind as Tacoma notes or at the LEAST agree to go to marriage counseling

Do you know if she's dating while living with her folks? You may want to ask


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## Boog8302 (May 15, 2013)

Thank you for the replies. I have asked her a few times if she is cheating on me. She says she isn't and she isn't even interested in seeing a guy or starting a new relationship. She actually told me back in the beginning that if we ever divorced she would probably never remarry or date again because she just has no interest in starting over.


Update: I decided to look at our phone bill, no big deal. I found a number on there that I didn't recognize. I Googled it of course and the number was for a lawyer. Now the call was only for a minute so I don't know if she is actually talking to a lawyer or it was a wrong number. Another possibility is that she saw the number, hung up and called from a family members phone. Guess I need to go see a lawyer.


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