# Can I sell ex's stuff?



## Hopelessus (Oct 29, 2014)

Since 50% of household is mine, can I sell my 50% of his stuff? I will desperately need money.


----------



## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

If you aren't yet divorced, I wouldn't think so but that's probably a question for your attorney.


----------



## SpinDaddy (Nov 12, 2012)

*Is a question for your attorney.*


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Oh the things I have seen.

Daughter (who filed last week No Fault) Sold his stuff when he was absent to pay rent and bills on their home. He disappeared no contact for about 6-8 months. Reappeared told her he had been living with his girlfriend. Got arrested a few weeks later Transporting paraphernalia in NV. He wasn't inclined to complain about the missing stuff.

A friend of hers, Sold and gave away her ex's stuff. He walked out with the clothes on his back. Couldn't stay clean long enough to go get his stuff. 

My theory is when it's an addict it's easy to sell their stuff. 

The house I live in was Sold as a result of the divorce. He didn't want to make a profit because he would have to share it. He was the cheater. He needed to get out of town to avoid the jealous husband.

This was strictly legal because he had to liquidate the marital assets to pay the marital debts. 

Hopeless in your situation your need is not justification to take his stuff. There are situations where you would get away with it. Your claim to own half of his stuff would imply that he owns half of yours. Do you want to go down that road?


----------



## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Hopelessus said:


> Since 50% of household is mine, can I sell my 50% of his stuff? I will desperately need money.


If he left you stranded financially, I wouldn't worry about it too much. You're entitled to half the assets of the marriage, which may or may not be half the household. Keep track of what you sell and how much you sell it for. 

And best to talk to a lawyer before getting too carried away. 

C


----------



## Hopelessus (Oct 29, 2014)

Furniture and kids stuff is pretty much my 50%. All other items are his. Cars, mortgage (even though my name is on the deed, his collectable crap or just stuff he buys with our money to sell on ebay or just keep).

What are each of us entitled to regarding household items? Is there a law that states this or do we just pick and choose what we want?


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Have you filed for divorce?

How long has he been gone? When was the last time you heard from him?

If you sell stuff, keep a record of what you sold... photos taken with your phone and a ledger/paper showing how much. Then show what bills you used the money for.

And yes, it's wise to ask your attorney if you have one. But if you have bills you need to get the money from somewhere.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Hopelessus said:


> Furniture and kids stuff is pretty much my 50%. All other items are his. Cars, mortgage (even though my name is on the deed, his collectable crap or just stuff he buys with our money to sell on ebay or just keep).
> 
> What are each of us entitled to regarding household items? Is there a law that states this or do we just pick and choose what we want?


I'm confused about the mortgage and the house. The mortgage is in his name, but your name is on the deed? So the house is 50% yours. Will he agree to putting the house up for sale? Do you want the house? Could you get a mortgage on it?

There is what is called personal property. That's that you and/or he brought into the marriage. For example. when I got married I had all the furniture already. So when we divorced I got all the furniture.. he could not put a claim on any of it.

Jewelry is usually personal property. Anything either of you were given as gifts (even from each other ) are personal property.

When it comes to community property, cash assets, house equity, investments, etc is usually split 50/50 by law. The rest is split as the two of you agree.

If he left you high and dry with bills to pay for yourself and your kids... then you can use community assets.. like the stuff you listed to sell to pay the bills. No court will prevent you from getting money to support your kids.

Do you have a job?

Do you have an attorney?


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Hopelessus said:


> Furniture and kids stuff is pretty much my 50%. All other items are his. Cars, mortgage (even though my name is on the deed, his collectable crap or just stuff he buys with our money to sell on ebay or just keep).
> 
> What are each of us entitled to regarding household items? Is there a law that states this or do we just pick and choose what we want?


By the way, kids stuff is not in your 50%. The kids stuff belongs to your kids. When you look at what's your 50%, taken an inventory of everything and value each item. Use either replacement cost or garage sale value for each item (use the same valuation method for everything). Then divide 50/50 by value.

However, if you are left with no money to support your kids, you can sell everything to do that. Just keep good records.

And don't do things like sell a car for $1 to get at him. Yes this has been done. That would show malice and he could ask the court to get the value of the car out of you.

But sell things for a reasonable market value and use to money to support HIS children.


----------



## Lost40 (Dec 27, 2014)

I assume every state, and/or even county is different. I am NOT allowed to sell anything - not even MY stuff until divorce is final, or until he comes and takes what he has said he wants - which he won't do in my case.


----------



## I dunno (Nov 14, 2012)

Give all his stuff to the homeless shelter, giving, there's nothing like it. xxx


----------



## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I dunno said:


> Give all his stuff to the homeless shelter, giving, there's nothing like it. xxx


Great idea. Except the value of all that stuff she gives away would be counted on HER side of the asset distribution. 

Revenge might be sweet, but it might not be cheap... 

C


----------



## Hopelessus (Oct 29, 2014)

I haven't hired the attorney. I met with one for a session. Great guy and former judge. Yes I have a job. He makes more than double my salary. Both of our names are on the deed, but he holds the mortgage so he is paying for the house. I do need the money. I have none to pay for lawyer since he left me with all the bills. Last month I was only able to put $100 away into my savings account. I already took it out bc I was overdrawn at the bank and charged a fee which also made it worse. Yesterday he told me he is dating. I have felt that in my gut for years and I was right. Even through being intimate with me and such he was with other girls. He is pissy about helping me financially. The kids medical bills are high, my car needs new tires, they are bald, my daughter has bronchitis and as of yesterday my son and I are sick. I don't know where all the money is going to come. Oh and the crack in the foundation has water leaking into the house along with the broken spout. I don't know what to do. He is serving papers soon. I think that May be the best thing for me and my kids right now. I can't sell the house bc it lost value and I will wind up paying fees just to get rid of it.
Any advice?


----------



## I dunno (Nov 14, 2012)

PBear

In times like these rationality doesn't come into the equation, ya write the stuff as you go along. What a glorious morning, a drive in the countryside, I think xxx


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Hopeless, the sad truth is that you are going to HAVE to find a way to get a lawyer. There's no other way to do this. Borrow money, get a new credit card and pay the card off, whatever it takes. The lawyer will FORCE him to pay the bills for his family.

If there's one thing at home you can sell that would pay the retainer fee for the lawyer, I would sell it, keep the receipt, and let the lawyer deal with including the value of that item when you're dividing up your assets.


----------



## I dunno (Nov 14, 2012)

Change all the locks, needn't be expensive, easy enough to do. If he wants his things back, tell him to go through the courts. Stay away from solicitors for now, use them as a last resort. More importantly, Keep Calm xxx


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

That won't get her the money she needs to survive.


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*He has the unfettered right to possess his own personal property, just as you have the right to all of your personal belongings. That is paramount! And if it is community property, then it must be legally inventoried and split up in a legal hearing before a judge or magistrate!

Unless he dies, or signs a waiver over to you authorizing the sale of that personal property of his, or has virtually fallen off of the face of the earth with no expectation and evidence that he will not return, well, I wouldn't recommend it. Doing so would cause you to wade off into some very deep legal manure!

Need to raise money? Sell only your own unneeded belongings! But never his! That's exactly what your lawyer is going to convey to you!*


----------



## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

As tempting as it sounds if you sell his stuff you will be liable to reimburse him for the loss if he chooses to pursue it.

You CAN, however, use a passive agreement with him. Tell him he has 6 months to collect his stuff. if not make it very clear that you will sell it off.

I use the six months because thats how long a landlord is required to store left behind property before they sell it. In my state anyway.


----------



## I dunno (Nov 14, 2012)

All depends, I'd want to sort my nick, nacks out first. If he doesn't come back for his stuff within a certain time slot, then? I think the thought of seeing someone who is less fortunate than yourself, walking down the high street in one of your suits could prove quite an interesting scenario. Be good xxx


----------



## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I dunno said:


> All depends, I'd want to sort my nick, nacks out first. If he doesn't come back for his stuff within a certain time slot then? I think the thought of seeing someone who is less fortunate then yourself, walking down the high street in one of your suits could proof quite an interesting scenario. Be good xxx


She's looking for money now. Not revenge. That can come later  

C


----------



## Lost40 (Dec 27, 2014)

So let me ask this... if you don't mind hopelessus. It might help your situation too, since I am in very similar place.

Before the divorce was "legally" filed, I guess you'd say - he went out and sold his car (which really wasn't JUST his, it was OURS *a family car*- though in his name) and he sold that for quite a bit of money as it was just about paid off. He split with that money, never saw a dime of it. 

From what I'm reading here... he is going to be liable to reimburse me for 1/2 of that - correct?


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Yes, as long as you have records of ownership.


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Lost40 said:


> So let me ask this... if you don't mind hopelessus. It might help your situation too, since I am in very similar place.
> 
> Before the divorce was "legally" filed, I guess you'd say - he went out and sold his car (which really wasn't JUST his, it was OURS *a family car*- though in his name) and he sold that for quite a bit of money as it was just about paid off. He split with that money, never saw a dime of it.
> 
> From what I'm reading here... he is going to be liable to reimburse me for 1/2 of that - correct?


*As long as the car title itself as well as the state registration papers, and/or the loan papers is in both of your names, absolutely! The Court will readily enforce it!*


----------



## Lost40 (Dec 27, 2014)

No, the car was in his name... but, we were married, and that is just how we did it. Our state is a 50/50 state, if you're married - everything is 50/50. No matter whose name it was in.


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Lost40 said:


> No, the car was in his name... but, we were married, and that is just how we did it. Our state is a 50/50 state, if you're married - everything is 50/50. No matter whose name it was in.


*If you are in a true community property state, then the same thing applies ~ the Court will see to it that you will receive half of the sale price of that vehicle!*


----------



## I dunno (Nov 14, 2012)

Always get the revenge out of the way first. Then you can get down to the mundane appointments and form filling, could prove a little difficult if you've overdone it with sledge hammer on his car, good muscle ache though. Be good xxx


----------



## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

I dunno said:


> Change all the locks, needn't be expensive, easy enough to do. If he wants his things back, tell him to go through the courts. Stay away from solicitors for now, use them as a last resort. More importantly, Keep Calm xxx


She can't do that, he owns the house too.

The divorce proceedings would go badly for her if she were to lock him out of his own house.


----------



## 'CuseGal (Feb 5, 2015)

Have you filed for child support? Depending on what state you live in, the family court system will handle the legal paperwork for you to force him to pay you child support BEFORE the divorce proceedings. Should not be any cost to you and if there are any costs involved, they will charge the parent with the higher income. At least that's how it works here in New York.


----------



## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I dunno said:


> Always get the revenge out of the way first. Then you can get down to the mundane appointments and form filling, could prove a little difficult if you've overdone it with sledge hammer on his car, good muscle ache though. Be good xxx


Right. Because getting revenge is more important than paying the mortgage or eating. 

C


----------



## Jane139 (Jan 6, 2015)

Maybe let him know that since he sold the car, you will be needing to sell some of things he left behind, as you are short on money? Unless of course he wants to send you half of what he got for the car. He had no right to sell that and keep the profits. 

I am in a CP state too and hope my husband understands how much more beneficial it will be for him if will agree to work out our division on our own. If we let the judge do it, he will have to split his 401K with me and may have to sell his very nice car, or give me half the value. I don't want much at all...just half of any house profit once he sells it (he asked me to move out and I did) and maybe a small onetime settlement (I am on disability) of a few thousand. If we so the judge route, I would get much more automatically.

Sorry to go off on a tangent...but if your spouse sold the car, you may have the right to sell a few things of his. But check with a lawyer.


----------



## Hopelessus (Oct 29, 2014)

The majority of items in the house were purchased by him after marriage. He is a toy collector, I think hoarder bc he just wants to keep them. C'mon how many boxes of legos does the person need. He doesnt even share them with his kids bc some he wants to sell..which he rarely does. 
I need money desperatley. Am I entitled to those items since he bought them when we were married? Can I ask for past bills to prove that he purchased them while we were married? Can I sell them?
I need the money bc he is not paying anything until proceedings are over.


----------



## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

Go. Find. A. Lawyer.

Any advice you get here is no good in terms of legality.
There are many good lawyers out there who will work with you for payment after the divorce.
You usually get the intial consultation free with many lawyers.


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Do whatever it takes to get a lawyer. Even if you just go in for a free 30-minute evaluation, which most lawyers will provide, to get you to choose them. Ask THAT QUESTION as soon as you get in.


----------



## Hopelessus (Oct 29, 2014)

"CuseGal I do live in NY. The lawyer told me something along those lines but this was a month ago. He is hiring a lawyer as well. It will cost me $300 for every visit for separation and $400 for divorce. I don't even have money to put on the side right now. He threw $700+ of bills on me when he left. If I sell household things or my jewlery is he legally entitled to half of it?


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Anything that's accumulated DURING the marriage is split 50/50 - earnings, purchases, savings. If you keep accurate records of what you sell, the judge will divide all income evenly. So yes, your jewelry - but ALSO the car he sold. It will all break down 50/50 in the end. So sell what you need now to get out from under this.


----------



## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

YOU NEED A LAWYER, ASAP.

Once you have filed, your lawyer can quickly arrange a court hearing for "temporary spousal support" and child support. You will be awarded this amount monthly throughout the duration of the divorce proceedings. Husband cannot just chuck all responsibilities for supporting the family during the divorce proceedings.

Personally, I would sell the d*mn Legos. Unless he has kept meticulous receipts for everything he ever purchased (junk trinkets, his "toys") he can't prove they ever even existed. "Legos? What Legos?"


----------



## Hopelessus (Oct 29, 2014)

He collects legos but never opens or uses them. He claims he is waiting for prices to go up to sell. They rarely do. And he rarely sells things.So my house is full of these boxes. They take up the hall closet, garage, attic and office. As of last year he started putting stuff in the screened porch. So he claims its my fault bc he has no time to sell his stuff. Excuse me and the kids for living there and trying to be a family. He said there is no reason for him to go to every family event (which he doesn't). He was filming with his friends, but of course since I'm here he doesn't anymore. The only time I got mad at that was when he was being real sneaky about talking to some girls he had met at a movie shoot online. 

So the girl he is with is a long time friend of both of us. She is also married with a daughter. That'.s just one of the girls. He has had an emotional relationship with 2 of them for years. 

All I need is the money no matter what has happened. It's not a revenge thing.


----------



## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

happy as a clam said:


> YOU NEED A LAWYER, ASAP.
> 
> Once you have filed, *your lawyer can quickly arrange a court hearing for "temporary spousal support" and child support.* You will be awarded this amount monthly throughout the duration of the divorce proceedings. Husband cannot just chuck all responsibilities for supporting the family during the divorce proceedings.


Ok, but you didn't respond to this part of my post.

Why are settling for selling Legos, when you can GO TO COURT and the court will ORDER him to continue paying the bills, or some portion of them??

You are ENTITLED to temporary spousal support and child support during the divorce because your incomes are lopsided.

He cannot just "stop paying the bills"!!!


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Anything either of you owned prior to getting married remains individual property, although some things can be mingled and lose protected status. For example, my IRA existed before I got married, and any additions since were equivalently put into her IRA, so my spouse has no claim on mine, and I have no claim on hers.


----------



## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Btw, if the Legos (and all his other cr*p) was purchased with MARITAL income AFTER you were married, you OWN half of it. *They are not HIS Legos.*

So sell half of the d*mn things and tell him you were simply "spring cleaning" to get rid of the fire hazard he created by clogging up the front hall closet, garage, attic, and now the screened porch. And you thought they were empty boxes -- you never "saw" any Legos.

Just don't put them on ebay or Craig's List or anywhere he can track it. Take them to a flea market and pocket the cash. Seriously.

Box up the other half, put them in the garage, and tell him if he doesn't pick them up within 60 days you are donating it all to charity. Then sell it at a flea market too. My guess is, if he actually comes for the stuff he won't even REMEMBER which Lego sets are "missing", and I will bet dollars to doughnuts that he will never pick up the "other half" of them anyway.

Divorce is ugly. Time to put your boxing gloves on.

One more thing... the court will not look kindly upon him just "disappearing", abandoning his financial responsibilities, to shack up with his new girlfriend. If you hire a COMPETENT attorney who schedules a temporary spousal support hearing, the court will ORDER him to pay BACKPAY for the months he has been gone. This is not magic -- it's all done according to a "formula" -- believe me, the court doesn't give a rat's a$$ about anything but rubber-stamping the paperwork as quickly as possible.

You are squandering an opportunity to make this divorce work for YOU.

Hopelessus, DON'T be a victim and wait around for your husband to quit jerking off. Hire a bulldog attorney (pay his fee with the sale of the Legos) and blindside your husband and his pathetic little attempt at further controlling you by HIS stalling of filing.

My ex-husband was very manipulative and one thing I learned through my whole divorce -- Judges HATE being manipulated and "outfoxed." If they think one spouse in the divorce-party is trying to dupe them, the wrath of the court will come down on that spouse. It takes a lot of gumption to make it to judgeship... the last thing a judge will do is hand over THEIR power to a squirrel-y, manipulative, man who abandons his family and his responsibility. My Ex actually received a substantial court fine for deliberately misleading the court, wasting their time with spurious rabbit-trails, and trying to manipulate the outcome.

Hopelessus, you need to *find your anger*.


----------



## Hopelessus (Oct 29, 2014)

Like my lawyer said if I file and serve him first it will be in his favor. They have sympathy for the one being served. Every night I can't sleep bc I tell myself all I want to do is throw out everything but then I try to think sensibly and wonder if I can make any money out of it all. Like I said its not about revenge. He did spend our money on some of it. How can I prove it. Can I subpoena him for credit purchases to prove he bought items while married? In the past he used to tell me he used money from a separate card that he put money into after he sold something. Years ago it was only about $1000. He has def. bought more than that over the years.


----------



## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Hopelessus said:


> *Like my lawyer said if I file and serve him first it will be in his favor. They have sympathy for the one being served.* Every night I can't sleep bc I tell myself all I want to do is throw out everything but then I try to think sensibly and wonder if I can make any money out of it all.


OMG... your lawyer must be smoking something.

The courts don't have any "sympathy." Your case is just a number on their docket.

There are formulas in place, for your EXACT problem. The fact that your husband has bailed... the court will ORDER payments from him.

Why are you NOT taking advantage of getting a COURT ORDER for temporary spousal support and fight for what is YOURS? *Why will you not address this in your posts?* You are playing the victim role superbly, but unnecessarily.


----------



## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Hopelessus said:


> Can I subpoena him for credit purchases to prove he bought items while married?


Yes, if you want to pay HUNDREDS, if not THOUSANDS of dollars in legal fees *to your attorney* to process the subpoenas.

All of that for some Legos.

You SERIOUSLY need to find a new attorney. Yours is not serving you well at all.


----------



## Hopelessus (Oct 29, 2014)

It has been horrible the last few days. My daughter told me they went out a few times with his new gf and her daughter. She is also married. She was also a mutual friend. So I don't know if its legal to keep my kids away from that situation. I found a facebook picture of them hugging and her kissing him on facebook this morning. I took a picture with my cell phone. Good thing I did bc they took it down right after I confronted him about it. I have a meeting with my lawyer next week but I called and left a message saying I need to see him right away. I just don't want my kids around him. He is immoral, lacks responsibility and has dumped all the bills on me. They love their dad so I am so confused.


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Hopelessus said:


> It has been horrible the last few days. My daughter told me they went out a few times with his new gf and her daughter. She is also married. She was also a mutual friend. So I don't know if its legal to keep my kids away from that situation.


It would be if you had something LEGAL in writing. What are you doing about it?


----------



## Hopelessus (Oct 29, 2014)

I have decided to serve him for child support next week. After all he was the one that wanted to rush through things. Now I find it difficult to support the family.


----------



## Hopelessus (Oct 29, 2014)

Ha...my engagement ring may pay for it


----------



## Hopelessus (Oct 29, 2014)

For now I have put somethings of his in the back porch. It's still technically in the house though


----------

