# Is it me or her? What is she doing wrong? What am I doing wrong?



## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

Still trying to figure out what it is between my GF and I in the bedroom. Seem to get plenty aroused but not over the top, can't contain myself type of feeling. She is very attractive and a rock solid body but smaller boobs and I seem to really like them bigger. Just not sure and I am trying to pin it down. It is something we need to talk more about because I know she would help with anything I need. 

I think it might have something to do with the way she moves or acts during sex. I am used to a woman being more "sensual"?? She is sort of aggressive sometimes and also changes things up right when I am liking it. 

I also like some dirty talk and play. She sort of just wants to get it going. 

I was rubbing her back the other day and it sort of snowballed into me disrobing her and sex followed but I lost my erection!! Did not help to have kids in the next room but I seem to be reaching for excuses these days!!

It seems ridiculous IMO to hurt an otherwise perfect relationship over some issues in the bed but I just cannot figure it out. I love receiving oral and she does that for me but I don't want that to end up being the only way I can get it done. 

So....... I guess what I am wondering is if there is something that I can ask her to do, day, or change that would improve the sex appeal? I might be weird but I might just like some softer features on a woman!!! Like a rock solid ass might look really great and get all exciting but once that ass is in the bed, it almost seems like I desire something softer??? lol. I am really hoping this is something that can be corrected. 

I know many will say, "it is all in your head, fix it" but has proven to be harder done than just said.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

You're just not that into her and you're trying to force it.

Didn't you recently leave your SO? Do you think maybe you're rushing things a little bit?

I don't have experience outside of marriage, at least nothing worth writing about, but it seems to me that a symbiotic sex life doesn't just happen organically. That it takes time to learn your partner and they to learn you.

And yes, you are doing some inappropriate blaming. Bottom line is that you don't fully have your head in the game. Back off a bit and slow down.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

What she said. Youve never said anything about your GF that would hint at her doing anything "wrong". You need to get your head straightened out. You could try some ED meds for now, but they can slow down ejaculation even more, which may not help. 

I think you rushed into a new situation too soon as well. Or else you just didn't pick a partner who meets your particular appeal. Nothing wrong with the latter... Just may mean she's not your cup of tea. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

good evening bobsmith
blame isn't important. If this is a short term relationship and you find that you aren't good together in bed, it is perfectly fine to end it politely. If you aren't having a great time, she probably isn't either.

There is far more to sex than good and bad. People like different things and some are just not compatible with each other. 

If the rest of your relationship is great, maybe its worth you both putting some effort into improving your sex life.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

Bob I'm afraid all you're going to do is really hurt her to the core by hanging your sexual issues on fher. maybe if you stop thinking about yourself and start thinking more about her and her pleasure things will go differently. 

and if that doesn't work then perhaps you're just going to have to accept either a lesser sexual relationship or that you aren't into her efficiently and move on. But don't be shellfish and hurt her because of your issues. if she's an awesome person like you say then this is on you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> You're just not that into her and you're trying to force it.
> 
> Didn't you recently leave your SO? Do you think maybe you're rushing things a little bit?
> 
> ...


He is still hung up on his ex.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

It's not her. 

You have admitted in other threads that you are still attracted to your ex. Despite advice to the contrary, you rushed into this relationship and got too serious too soon. Now it seems you aren't really attracted to her body type and how she acts during sex. 

Yes, she can change how she acts if she so chooses but unless she agrees to get bigger boobs and stops working out, you may not be really happy with her. And she deserves someone who is.


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## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

I have not once told her that I think she is doing something wrong. The only way I have approached it when she asks is that I am under a lot of stress and still new to this dating thing. It will take time. Last night I was very aroused, I did not finish but got her taken care of and got claws dug into my back....lol Actually, it really takes away from my fun when I am in pain like that...

Yes, I have admitted that I find my ex sexually attractive but I have no desire to fix that relationship and I am not sure I could ever really just honestly say "nah, don't find her attractive anymore". I find all my ex's attractive or I would never have been with them. Not sure how to get past this...


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

What you should do is what's been suggested on your other threads and that's take time off from serious dating for awhile. Casual dating would be fine. As I recall, less than a month after starting to date her, you were already thinking of something permanent. 

You really need to slow down. And relax.


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