# I have to come clean I have made a mistake!



## hillbilly_loser (Jan 1, 2013)

I have posted on here about leaving my stuff at my ex girlfriends house for a year and that i have a new girlfriend. The reason I left mys tuff htere was because while we were broke up I was seeing this new girl but my heart has always been with y ex girlfriend. the girl Ihave been dating realized this 2 weeks ago and took a break from me. The reason my ex girlfriend showed up at my apt and the blow up ensued was because i was there with my current girlfriend whom I was breaking up with when my ex showed up. My ex girlfriend got mad and this incident hurt my ex girlfriend that i was i the process of reconciling with. I went to the girlfriends house last night that is taking the break from me. While at her house I realized in a huge way that i love my ex gorlfriend and I was trying to make my current girlfriend be my ex since I lost her. I realized that she will never be the woman my ex was and that i love my ex beyond beleif. I have made a terrible mistake. I never cheated on my ex and we were broke up for the past year but i always kept contact with my ex and i love my ex.

When i left my girlfriends (who is taking a break) last night i realized that i have made a huge mistake and that my ex is who i love, want, need, and where my heart is . I an't help where my heart is. I went to see my ex this morning and she talked to me for an hour. She wouln't let me in her house but she stood in her door with her screen door open and i stood outside for an hour in 27 degree weather letting me taslk to her through her screen door. She kept talkig about the apt incident and how ive let her down etc. I really didn't ask my current girlfriend who wasn't really my currrent girlfriend cause we had broke up. I have hurt my ex beyound belief. I can't describe her in words how bad I feel and how i can't beleive i hurt my ex like this. I really can't beleive my ex even talked to me today. She then called me after i left and we talked and i ask her if she was seeing anyone and she said that she had met a nice guy and he seemed nice and was friendly like her. I sstarted crying and told her how much i love her and she said i just met him and tehn she said did u think no one else wouln't want me? I told her she is perfect and yes she is the best and that guys would be crazy not to want her. She said there is nothig i can say or do but then when we talk she says why didn't i do this when that girl showed up at apt that night. I ask that girld to leave and she wouldn't and then my ex showed upa nd then this whole blow up happened. Before this blow up happened i was ficing things with my ex and was on the way to getting my relationship back with her. she let me keep my stuff there for a year cause she loved me and i left it there cause i wanted my ex back. 

I want my ex back and I love her with all my heart and then some. I have to come clean because I can't live this anymore. I screwed up and before the incident where she showed up at my apt we were on our way to fixing this. i wasn't not seeing that other girl for the past two months because I made my mnd up that i wanted my ex back and after the apt incident and my ex quit me I gravitated back to the other girl and she could tell my heart aint with her and that is why she said we needed to take a break. I need my ex back and I need to know how to fix this.

I want and need your suggestions aand please don't be to negative because I can't take much more.


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## Stella Moon (Nov 22, 2012)

How about you leave these women alone...and just be alone and do some growing up? You have played these women for a year...I don't know how I can say anything positive here? 

dude...you need to grow up...give everyone involved a dam break from the drama.


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## seriouslysad (Feb 16, 2013)

Honestly, if you want your ex you HAVE to end things with your current girlfriend. My husband has been telling me for weeks he was going to break with his girlfriend, and he never did. I told him reconciliation is not even an OPTION while he a girlfriend. He would rather be with her than alone, even though he claims to not like her... You know that if youre still in love with your ex a year, that you should end you current relationship and try to resolve what you had with your ex. Now if she doesnt take you back, then you should move and work on yourself. Its not very fair to play with peoples emotions like that. Its extremely hurtful and I think it would best for you to be honest. I always hated finding out things weeks, months, yrs later.


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## hillbilly_loser (Jan 1, 2013)

I understand that I am a pile of crap. ANd I understand I get what I deserve. I am a good person that has made some mistakes. A lot of mistakes. It wsn't that i had the cake and eat it to syndrome. That is far from it! THere is no one that can feel as bad as I do for hurting my ex-girlfriend. I despise myself and I hate that I have done this. I love her and I have probably lost her so I will have to pay for it. It was stupid, dumb, and very insensitive.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

Are you taking a break from the current girl or did you break up? 

When writing about her you say she's just taking a break. 
When writing about ex-girlfriend, you say you broke up with the new one.

This is plan A vs plan B. Absolutely. You are keeping one foot in each door.


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## Stella Moon (Nov 22, 2012)

hillbilly_loser said:


> I understand that I am a pile of crap. ANd I understand I get what I deserve. I am a good person that has made some mistakes. A lot of mistakes. It wsn't that i had the cake and eat it to syndrome. That is far from it! THere is no one that can feel as bad as I do for hurting my ex-girlfriend. I despise myself and I hate that I have done this. I love her and I have probably lost her so I will have to pay for it. It was stupid, dumb, and very insensitive.


I remember you being 'oh so in love' with your (taking a break girlfriend) and how you sooo love her and wronged her for keeping your stuff at the exe's for a year and how you wanted to prove to her how much you loved her by going to get your stuff (from the exes)...yadda yadda yadda...and now you got your stuff and want to make it work and how sorry you were...and you love her sooo much ... 

and now this post? 

You bounced between these two for a year...were there others as well yes? 

I'm 'not' trying to be rude to you...but it's really hard to take you seriously... 

_How the he!! do you even know who your in love with dude??? _

You have professed your undying love for two different women in five minutes. 

I'm not saying your a piece of crap either (those were your words)...but again...you are a player...and I have no respect for players... none...zip. 

I cannot advise you here...save for..._'grow up'... _


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## hillbilly_loser (Jan 1, 2013)

I am not seeing any of these women now. I do love my ex girlfriend and I do love the current one that was taking a break. I love them for different reasons. However, when I look at all the stuff I have shared with my ex and how good our relationship was and how compatible we were I feel I my heart that I have made a mistake. The girlfriend who was taking a break means a lot to me too! it s like when I weigh everything I feel like im more compatible with my ex. I have loved the one that I am taking a break from every since I have laid eyes on her 18 years ago. I also stand by the statement that I feel like the one that I was taking a break from is the only girl that I have ever made love to! I still feel that way and that will never change. But when I weigh the whole thing my heart longs for my ex. I am not a player and I am not trying to be a player that is not what I am and if I have been a player its not my intention. Somehow somewhere I guess I have lost my weigh and my judgement has gotten couded. It like me and my ex is more compatible even though we lacked quite a bit in the sexual compartment. The one I am taking a break from I guess gave me what I needed in the sexual dept and after she pulled away and took this break it seems like I have reevaluated things and this is the conclusion I have come to. I do feel like I have lost my ex and it hurts. I know I have hurt her and that hurts me even more because she was a good woman. She didn't deserve anything that I have done to her. I mean nothing! Sometimes I wonder if I was trying to make the one I am taking a break from be like my ex in ways or if I was trying to make her be ex totally. I don't know! I know sometimes I feel confused and other times I don't.


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## Stella Moon (Nov 22, 2012)

luuv triangles suck. And you put yourself in one...had break up girl not pulled away do you think you would even be feeling this way about your ex? It's almost if you 'must be' with one of the two...

now neither wants to be around you right? Just cool it for a bit..just take some time from them both...dont talk to or chase either...do some 'me' stuff here...get back into working out...or stuff you would like to do for you...rediscover who you are as a man...put yourself back together better so when you do proceed your not so dam wish washy in your next relationship. Because seriously you cant be doing this stuff...your going to wake up one day and one of these girls are going to lop your dxiky do right off in spite. You need to be a one girl guy and stick to it..not decide after a year that 'um your not it honey'.

You don't 'need' one of these women right now...or anyone...seriously try to just maintain yourself...even give yourself a three month celibacy kick or something...start fresh...reclaim being a man of integrity and honesty and faithfulness...

I mean...honestly this is what I think you should do...you sound really sincere in your pain here and you just got yourself in a pickle...i got that...so leave them alone...and improve your manhood man stuff... lol... (i sometimes cant word things...first cup of coffee after night shift)... heh...


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## hillbilly_loser (Jan 1, 2013)

I am not seeing any of these women now. I was actually in the process of working thinks out with the ex and had spent xmas with her and two days later she stopped at my apt and the other woman had stopped in and wasn't there for 5 minutes and now my ex thinks I was doing something and I wasn't. My dad has been diagnosed with terminal cancer and the other woman had stopped there on the way to a friends house to talk to me about it for a second. 

I am not flip flopping anymore. I told you that I am still in love with my ex girlfriend and she is who I want and we were getting along good and I wasn't seeing this other girl when the apt incident happened. I love my ex and I want her back. I have loved her the whole time and I tried to make myself love this other woman but I can't because my heart isn't in it. I love my ex and I am willing to do anything to get her back and I mean anything. I know I can't fix this overnight and I am willing to be in this for the long haul. 

Any suggestions from you experienced people on here that I can follow to get my ex back?


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