# Separated at the house, Wife wants Big D!



## tam8145 (Apr 6, 2011)

Since confronting my wife on April 1 (12 days ago) about a suspected affair, I have spent alot of time on TAM. I made my first post last week. I appreciate all the posts and believe I can get some relief by continuing to read and post. During the confrontation, my wife says she no longer loves me and wants to separate. On Sunday, April 10 (3 days ago) my wife says she wants me to move out of our house and start the divorce. Today she is seeing a lawyer to get advice for using mediation to an uncontested divorce (TX.) I spent 1 hour with a lawyer on Monday (2 days ago) and also got advice for the mediation. 

My wife refuses to stop the long-distance EA or offer me any chance of reconciliation. She refuses to leave the house. I am still in the house because I don't want to lose my right to live here when we separate or divorce (my brother lives next door.) We have 2 kids ages 9 & 4.

Someone must leave the house for all the obvious reasons. It's way too tense in here. I'm planning to initiate a conversation with her in the next 2 days about the house. If she refuses to leave, I want to negotiate for other advantages or property. For example, I could suggest lower child support or more custody? I'm afraid we will reach an impasse and have to go to mediation anyway and maybe even divorce court.

In no order, here are my thoughts right now: 
- I still love my wife and want her to stop this.
- I have initiated the 180 and have stuck to it well for last 5 days.
- I might ask her to slow things down... Separate for now and consider divorce later.
- Should we try negotiate kids/property on our own, or just go straight to mediation? 
- This has been by-far the worst 12 days of my life.
- My wife continues to use my shortcomings as justification for the EA
- Should I expose the EA to more of our mutual friends? or just keep quiet? 
- Someone needs to leave the house ASAP and could be a very tough time here until mediation/divorce.
- We have not officially told the kids yet, but they see signals.
- Should I just move out and give us some time before mediation?
- I know she is planning to see the OM within the next few weeks and change this over to a PA. 

Again, any input, suggestions or ideas are appreciated.


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## harley (Apr 14, 2011)

I am in a similar situation. Me and my wife have agreed to joint custody if we divorce. She is moving out and we are going to do joint custody now. I would suggest this arangment to your wife. Just try to work out a set weekly schedule so it is better for the children. I told my wife I would keep the kids two set days between monday and thursday. She will take the other two days, and we will rotate every other weekend. I do not know what to tell you about the house situation. I hope this is helpful.


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## DelinquentGurl (Mar 25, 2011)

I would not involve your friends in your situation. If you tell them your wife is having an EA and then you end up reconciling, it will leave a bad taste in their mouths regarding her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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