# Just caught him cheating this morning!!!



## Sunsh1n3 (Mar 8, 2011)

Well, my gut feeling was right. I posted a thread yesterday saying that i was having a hard time trusting my partner. Then last nite when we were in bed his fone went. I knew striaght away something was up as he was acting very weird. i asked him to his face who it was and he looked at me and lied. he told me it was his sister that rung. 

well this morning i checked...... it wasnt his sister but his ex. now i know everything. hes a cheat and a liar! 

im so devastated! i cant stop crying!!! 

any advice to get past a cheat?


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## madimoff (Feb 17, 2010)

Yes he lied but it might not mean he's cheating and even if it is it might not mean he's cheating with his ex. 
Not excusing any of whatever has been making you fear the worst, but jumping to conclusions won't help.
Getting past a cheat? Can't help but I know people say once a cheat always a cheat - I vaguely feel that's not necessarily always true but to hold on to that thought isn't where you need to be right now: which I suppose is talking to him about your fears, that phone call and that lie.


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## browneyes_7987 (Mar 9, 2011)

I think the best thing to do is just to confront him. Don't let him lie his way out of it. His ex has no reason to be calling his phone unless they have children. If he lied about that he'll lie again. Sorry you're going through this.


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## surfergirl (Jan 27, 2011)

Okay so the man has cheated in the past so you know he is more than capable of doing it again (I think leopards can change their spots but it's rare they do).....but like madinoff said - you don't know for sure that he is cheating right now. 

You DO know for sure that he's a liar though.

If it was me, I'd calm myself down and call his ex and talk to her before confronting him with anything. She was honest with you once before about seeing him, there is a good chance she may be honest with you again.

There could be all sorts of reasons why she called - some even quite innocent, seeing as though she called at a time when she knew you and he would probably be together. It was either innocent or she is the "other" woman wanting to push the boundaries....either way, you should know more once you've spoken with her.

The last thing you want is to create a bigger scene than is necessary. You definitely need to speak with your man..... whether it's about cheating or lying is something you'll have to try and find out. And at this point in time....she is your best bet for finding out information I think.


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## Sunsh1n3 (Mar 8, 2011)

Hi, 

thanks for your thoughts.... very much appreciated. I have spoke with the ex and found out that nothing did happen and that he needed to get something from her house (where he used to live). However he did still lie to me. I stayed in my mums last nite and took the time to think things over. Im really upset because now that i know he didnt cheat this time, he still ruined everything. If he would just man up and ring me and say sorry then maybe we could talk but he hasnt rung. I just got a message from him this morning asking how i was..... no apology. 

My head is so wrecked!! i dont want to be with any1 else but i do deserve to be treated better than this! if hes capable of lying to my face then wat else is he capable of? 

hes suppose to be meeting his ex on friday..... i have been told this is still happening.


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## Starling (Feb 28, 2011)

Fool me once, shame on you...

Of course he's a cheat and a liar. He is showing no desire to change. You honestly expect him to be sensitive and apologetic? Lower your standards considerably if you want to keep giving this loser a chance.


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## ladyybyrd (Jan 4, 2011)

He lied telling you it was his sister that called and it was not. Sounds very fishy to me.

NEVER confront unless you have proof he will just deny it.


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## lovenaffection (Mar 14, 2011)

Id say he lied because he probably figured it would just start an argument. If he was just trying to get something from her house, & figured as most men do whats the point of causing a huge blow out.....

I know that when you find out it was a lie its hurtful because you think if he just told the truth it would have been OK. BUT thats rarely the case with us women. We like to think we can deal with it & in reality we usually cant.

SO he was probably simply trying to keep the peace, & that in mind why would he feel the need to apologize. He is probably just as hurt for the fact the you accused him of cheating. & left to stay at your Moms house.

I think this is a 50/50 where you can be the one to say sorry & allow him to see you were just hurt. Men don't think the way we do, but I know they usually wont say sorry if they feel wrongly accused.

Hope that helps, be positive & show him you do love him & you may get your verbal apology. Personally actions speak louder than words & maybe he doesnt know what to say.


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