# Question about Vasectomies



## kittykat09 (Mar 26, 2012)

Hey men-folk-

My fiance and I have been talking about permanent BC for about 6 months now. Neither of us wants to have children, and honestly it would be incredibly irresponsible of us from a genetic standpoint to reproduce (we both have Celiac, we both have meh eyesight, I have bipolar, women with Celiac have a higher chance of having autistic children, an aunt was just diagnosed with MS, high incidences of diabetes and other issues, etc- seriously, it would be a perfect child or people would doubt it was human).

ANYWAY, since the options are either I get a tubal ligation or he gets a vasectomy he has decided it makes more sense for him to get snipped since he does not want me to undergo an invasive procedure if it can be avoided. I know it was a somewhat hard decision for him to make because about 6 years ago when we talked about options he told me point-blank that he would never get a vasectomy... so I know this is a big deal for him and that he is doing this because he loves me very much (and I greatly appreciate it).

He is going through what I think is a typical response to the decision- worrying about pain, long-term problems, a botched vasectomy, etc and I was wondering what advice you guys would have for him. No appointment has been scheduled, no doctor has been picked, nothing (we're not in any especial hurry and neither of us wants to rush and potentially have problems as a result)- so any advice about any aspect of it would be appreciated.


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## Acorn (Dec 16, 2010)

I had it in my head that it would be a horrible experience but it really was nothing all that bad.

Make the appt. on a Friday, go with him, the procedure is not too long, so help him home. The first day, he'll be relying on you a bit at times - stock up the freezer with bags of peas. The next day or two he will start to feel better, and work shouldn't be an issue on Monday.


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## strugglinghusband (Nov 9, 2011)

Yes, no big deal at all, more mind games you play on yourself than anything, if he is nervous about talk with the doc, he will give him something the day of, some type of sedative, heck I had to take 2 valium's before hand...couple of days of slight discomfort,swelling and then your fine...

The possiblilty of a botched one these days is very rare


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## kittykat09 (Mar 26, 2012)

The other day he said he talked to some high school buds about how theirs went and he claims they hurt for a month.  Does it happen or are they trying to psych him out? (Or is he exaggerating for sympathy? XD)


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

one of the best things I ever did

mild pain/discomfort for a week to 2 weeks


and then bareback the rest of your life

a no duh for me


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## kittykat09 (Mar 26, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> one of the best things I ever did
> 
> mild pain/discomfort for a week to 2 weeks
> 
> ...


Seriously! I am looking forward to that, too. :smthumbup:


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

My husband had one 3 years ago. Never had any complications. Was down for 3 days then back to work.
It was 50 bucks with insurance. Thankfully. It was done in the office and he had some frozen peas to 'ice' them afterwards, plus pain meds. He had discomfort for about 2 weeks afterwards, but we were having sex on day 4.

He still orgasms, still have high sex drive.  

I just had an ovary and tube removed for something, and I am down for 4 weeks. Which is somewhat how a tubal is for a woman, and it's more expensive...at least on our insurance.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

kittykat09 said:


> The other day he said he talked to some high school buds about how theirs went and he claims they hurt for a month.  Does it happen or are they trying to psych him out? (Or is he exaggerating for sympathy? XD)


You'd hurt for a long time too if you had a tubal.

So...what's his beef? lol. Hubs said it was so simple. 30 minutes in the office. Your surgery is in the hospital, more involved and more things could go wrong because they go through your belly button, etc.


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## strugglinghusband (Nov 9, 2011)

kittykat09 said:


> The other day he said he talked to some high school buds about how theirs went and he claims they hurt for a month.  Does it happen or are they trying to psych him out? (Or is he exaggerating for sympathy? XD)


how long ago was thiers? mine 8 yrs, pain was mild, not severve at all, swelling and bruising, black,blue,yellow,purple, it was colorful alright..lol..get it done on friday back to work on monday..Really not a big deal, either they are messin with him or they are wimps, or they didnt do it right...

The frozen peas are not a joke, he wont want to walk around for a day or so, so plan on being his little maid, biggest pain I had was the damn stiches catching on my briefs..


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

if you want the clincher-


the doc had both me and my wife at the pre-surgery appoint and went over everything

he said that post surgery (about a week), that there will be some lingering sperm in my semen and that I must be "emptied" at least 3 times (and then get tested) and that my wife must perform BJ's to do this


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## kittykat09 (Mar 26, 2012)

that_girl said:


> You'd hurt for a long time too if you had a tubal.
> 
> So...what's his beef? lol. Hubs said it was so simple. 30 minutes in the office. Your surgery is in the hospital, more involved and more things could go wrong because they go through your belly button, etc.


His father's was botched. >.> He grew up being told that if he got a vasectomy he ran the risk of hurting for the rest of his life so he shouldn't ever do it (and any woman who wanted him to didn't care about him). 

So yeah, he is being veeeery cautious about the whole thing, but at least he has changed from his original stance of "no way in hell!" because he does recognize that the tubal ligation is much riskier. I recognize he is doing this because he loves me, so I am trying to do whatever I can to lessen his anxiety about it.


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## strugglinghusband (Nov 9, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> if you want the clincher-
> 
> 
> the doc had both me and my wife at the pre-surgery appoint and went over everything
> ...


Damn why didnt I go to this guy!!!!! A/R you always luck out in the BJ dept....

S/H take his toys and leaves the sand box


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> if you want the clincher-
> 
> 
> the doc had both me and my wife at the pre-surgery appoint and went over everything
> ...


HAHAHA Hubs' doc just said to clear the pipes. No prescription blow jobs.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

kittykat09 said:


> His father's was botched. >.> He grew up being told that if he got a vasectomy he ran the risk of hurting for the rest of his life so he shouldn't ever do it (and any woman who wanted him to didn't care about him).
> 
> So yeah, he is being veeeery cautious about the whole thing, but at least he has changed from his original stance of "no way in hell!" because he does recognize that the tubal ligation is much riskier. I recognize he is doing this because he loves me, so I am trying to do whatever I can to lessen his anxiety about it.


Well, technology has come a LOOONG way since his dad had it done.


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## strugglinghusband (Nov 9, 2011)

Well it would been cool when they took the sample in to get tested and Mrs. A/R would have spit it out "here ya go" 


sorry couldnt resist...lol


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## kittykat09 (Mar 26, 2012)

strugglinghusband said:


> how long ago was thiers? mine 8 yrs, pain was mild, not severve at all, swelling and bruising, black,blue,yellow,purple, it was colorful alright..lol..get it done on friday back to work on monday..Really not a big deal, either they are messin with him or they are wimps, or they didnt do it right...
> 
> The frozen peas are not a joke, he wont want to walk around for a day or so, so plan on being his little maid, biggest pain I had was the damn stiches catching on my briefs..


He said "recently," whatever that means (probably in the last few years). 

I plan on spoiling the guy rotten during his downtime. XD We're long-distance at the moment until I move back in with him in about 3 weeks and I told him he isn't allowed to get it done without me. Doubt he would but... 

Good to know about the stitches. >.>


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## kittykat09 (Mar 26, 2012)

strugglinghusband said:


> Well it would been cool when they took the sample in to get tested and Mrs. A/R would have spit it out "here ya go"
> 
> 
> sorry couldnt resist...lol


lmao

When my dad had his done and went in for the testing after... He filled the tube with eggwhite to freak them out. XD The doctor contacted my mom to let her know that the office had the "" response first about the volume, and that everyone thought it was the funniest prank ever.


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## kittykat09 (Mar 26, 2012)

that_girl said:


> Well, technology has come a LOOONG way since his dad had it done.


Definitely.  I doubt anything bad will happen, I just wish he wasn't nervous about it because I would hate for him to freak himself out and feel psychosomatic pain because he *expects* to. 

He is usually a very steady guy who sticks to the facts so I figure the more advice/facts/stories that aren't intended to freak him out the better.


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

that_girl said:


> My husband had one 3 years ago. Never had any complications. Was down for 3 days then back to work.
> It was 50 bucks with insurance. Thankfully. It was done in the office and he had some frozen peas to 'ice' them afterwards, plus pain meds. He had discomfort for about 2 weeks afterwards, but we were having sex on day 4.
> 
> He still orgasms, still have high sex drive.
> ...


Pretty much the same here, though I had to wait five days before sex (oh the horror).

Had a little bruising, as well as a small bit of tenderness at the suture spot for a month or so after (and only if it was pressed in a certain way). The procedure was three months ago and no issues at all.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

I had a vasectomy and was also worried about pain. I hate needles too. 

I told the doctor my concerns and he suggested something called Emla Cream (spelling?). The Emla is basically a topical anesthetic and will deaden the nerve endings where the local anesthetic will be injected. Once the local is administered he won't feel a thing.

I really enjoyed how big my balls got... when they weren't sore. 
And they didn't get as sore as I was expecting. The bottom line is that my wife and I love the big V.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

This went easier for me than I had imagined.

That said I have mixed feelings about how early in my marriage I did this looking back now.


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## cabin fever (Feb 9, 2012)

I'll let ya know first hand next Friday. I ain't scared! 

told the wife she had to help clean the pipes.

(I embelished a little and said DR said at least 20 times!, and she had to swallow to dispose of it properly )


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## kittykat09 (Mar 26, 2012)

Thanks for the responses, and best of luck next Friday, cabin_fever.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

strugglinghusband said:


> Damn why didnt I go to this guy!!!!! A/R you always luck out in the BJ dept....
> 
> S/H take his toys and leaves the sand box


to be honest, at the time of my vasectomy BJ's were pretty rare for me so I was pretty psyched the doc said that


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

My husbands V went so well we broke the rules and had sex 3 days later.

He took 1 Tylenol 3 and 4 hours later 2 ibuprofen and that was it. The next day he was up and about walking fine. The third day zero pain, not even an ache.

We still haven't sent in a sample, which we need to, but I'm sure all is good. We're both dying to go condom free. lol!

We will use protection until we know for certain the procedure took. There's no way I'm physically able to care for a baby and toddler with 2 neck herniations and being disabled.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Apprehensive going into it, I had it done on a Friday morning, lounged around in bed over the course of the weekend, and the Doc declared that I was good to go by Monday. In fact I refereed a high school boys basketball game that same Tuesday. Other than some minor soreness for about 5 days, I never really had a problem!


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## buffalo689 (Feb 11, 2012)

It was a piece of cake..best 400 we ever spent !!!!


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

kittykat09 said:


> The other day he said he talked to some high school buds about how theirs went and he claims they hurt for a month.  Does it happen or are they trying to psych him out? (Or is he exaggerating for sympathy? XD)


It surely does happen; in fact it happened to me. I had an infection which needed about 6 weeks of antibiotics to beat. On top of that, I had congestive epididymitis, which is a known consequence of a traditional vasectomy. There simply is not much you can do prevent these problems from happening.

A vasectomy stops sperm from entering the semen but does not stop their production. Ypu are relying on your body's ability to respond to the blockage by absorbing the sperm. If that does not happen sufficiently, you get pressure and pain. According to my urologist I saw can take up to 2 years to resolve.

I do not regret doing it, even though I took almost a year to be pain free. Had I to do it over, I would insist on a urologist, not a general surgeon (what I had) or some other doctor. The issue is not surgical competence but treating complications. My surgeon took about three weeks to notice something was wrong, and then I had be referred to a urologist for treatment. So, it took about a month to get any substantial treatment for my issues.


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## kittykat09 (Mar 26, 2012)

DTO said:


> It surely does happen; in fact it happened to me. I had an infection which needed about 6 weeks of antibiotics to beat. On top of that, I had congestive epididymitis, which is a known consequence of a traditional vasectomy. There simply is not much you can do prevent these problems from happening.
> 
> A vasectomy stops sperm from entering the semen but does not stop their production. Ypu are relying on your body's ability to respond to the blockage by absorbing the sperm. If that does not happen sufficiently, you get pressure and pain. According to my urologist I saw can take up to 2 years to resolve.
> 
> I do not regret doing it, even though I took almost a year to be pain free. Had I to do it over, I would insist on a urologist, not a general surgeon (what I had) or some other doctor. The issue is not surgical competence but treating complications. My surgeon took about three weeks to notice something was wrong, and then I had be referred to a urologist for treatment. So, it took about a month to get any substantial treatment for my issues.


Good to know... That sucks though, I'm sorry. >.>


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## bubbly girl (Oct 11, 2011)

My husband didn't have any problems at all. We also had sex before we were supposed to because my husband felt fine and wanted some action. LOL

A little rest and some bags of frozen peas and he was fine in no time. It's the best thing we could have done. It's so nice to not have to worry about any type of birth control.


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## kittykat09 (Mar 26, 2012)

Ha, so he apparently has 9 days to decide if he wants his company's health insurance or if he wants to keep the private one he is on. He has known since he became full time like a month and a half ago and decided to procrastinate until now to try to figure it out... I'm frustrated but it isn't worth getting upset about.

So I asked him if the new one (which is muuuuuuch cheaper, almost scarily so- like they wouldn't cover *anything*) would cover a vasectomy and he didn't know. He talked to HR about some of the health insurance details, called me, and I asked what they said about the vasectomy.

"She didn't know and told me to read some online pamphlet that supposedly outlines all the details." 

Since this is my fiance we are talking about and he sometimes likes to say someone "doesn't know" if he didn't want to ask the question, I asked "Did you actually ask specifically about if a vasectomy was covered or were you embarrassed?" 

"Why would I be embarrassed? It means I am getting some!" 

Too cute.


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

kittykat09 said:


> "She didn't know and told me to read some online pamphlet that supposedly outlines all the details."


Two options:

Get the member service number for the insurance company from HR. Ask one of the insurance staff if it is covered under the plan for his employer.

-OR-

Look in the benefits guide at the section for outpatient surgery. The fee for vasectomy should be this co-pay, and any limitiations or conditions may be noted here (for instance, it might say that procedures requiring anesthesia have a different co-pay).


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## cabin fever (Feb 9, 2012)

Done and Done. 
No big deal. Procedure took about 40 min from start to finish. 
(I was given the choice to be put under, or be awake, I chose to be under) I remember going in about 1:45, it was 2:30 when I was back out in the waiting room. Woke up with an ice pack on my junk, and thats it. 

First 2 days I had a little pain, but not enought that I couldn't move. On the 3rd day I was back to working on my house. I took only ibuprofin the entrie time. My nuts swelled up like cantalopes, and were colorful. Today I am pretty much pain free. Took nothing at all yesterday or today.


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## cone (Aug 6, 2008)

No big deal, not as bad as so many say it is. I hurt the first day, nothing too bad.... had fun getting those "20 ejaculations" out of the way! 
Volume of semen remained the same....


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Been happily 'fixed' for 20 years this year 

No swelling of "the family jewels" just minor irritation that lasted two days. Though I must say that the next day that I went to have my dressing changed, the urologist told me to hold onto something because he was going to apply an antiseptic/anesthetic and I might feel woozy. Holly sh!t  he wasn't kidding, the effect was almost instantaneous after he applied it. But overall, not a bad experience at all. I sure wish I could say the same when I've gone to see the dentist Yikes!


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

My urologist was a very experienced physician/surgeon who had many interesting stories. He told me one about a vasectomy he performed on a close friend. He said that he told his friend NOT TO have unprotected sex until AFTER the results of his sperm cell count came back. Unfortunately, this warning went in one ear and out the other because his friend did was he was warned not to do. Not surprisingly his wife became pregnant and he lashed out at the poor woman accusing her of sleeping with another man. When the urologist received a frantic call from his friend's wife, he immediately contacted him and had him and his wife show up at his office. Once the two were there, the conversation went like this.

Doctor: "Do you remember I told you NOT TO have unprotected sex with your wife before the results of your sperm count came back?"

Friend (sheepishly answered): "Yes"

Doctor: "Well, did you?"

Friend (visibly nervous): "Well no but I meant to.."

Doctor: "YOU IDIOT! that 'other man' you are accusing your wife of having slept with is YOU. Now be man enough and apologize to her NOW."

Friend to his wife (looking like a dog with his tail between his legs): "I'm truly sorry for accusing you of being unfaithful to me. It was very wrong of me to do so since you have always been a very loving wife to me. Please forgive me."

The Wife: "I forgive you but you are going to have to be good to me for the next 9 months and pamper me like never before if you expect any sex from me. Deal?"

The friend: "Deal."

The moral of the story is 'Get your test results from your sperm count exam FIRST before you start having unprotected sex' :smthumbup:


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## kittykat09 (Mar 26, 2012)

Morituri: Ha, no kidding. XD We are good at winning the bad lottos, no need to help it along. That poor wife!

Cabin_fever: I don't blame you for preferring to be under. It seems kind of freaky to be awake for it, like nightmare material for life. XD Glad your recovery is going well.


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## t_hopper_2012 (Apr 17, 2012)

I had one and it was no biggie. Be sure your husband follows the doctor's post surgery advice. (Mine involved laying around on the couch for a couple of days with cold packs on the "affected area". I was worried that I'd get bored - but then I remembered that with two kids, I never have an iron-clad excuse to lay around for a weekend).


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## t_hopper_2012 (Apr 17, 2012)

Oh, yeah. Be sure to use protection until he gets his sperm count results (and be sure that he actually gets them).


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