# Bad habits



## jimloveslips (Sep 26, 2017)

Hey all, how's it hanging...
So, a few months ago I got laid-off, been working there ten years, whole department closed down, bit of a shock.
I'm having a real problem getting motivated to find another job.
I'm applying for jobs to satisfy UC conditions, but most I'm either not qualified for (not my industry), or I'm way over-qualified for and they won't pay what I'm asking... but frankly I don't care.
I'm spending a lot of time online and jerking off. I said to myself this morning at 8, just stop at 9 and just go for a walk - three hours later I'm still looking at porn nifoc **** in my hand.
I'm 58, happily married (although never enough sex!!), my wife is a rock and very supportive - but obviously oblivious of my daily habits.
My wife was very ill a few years ago and ever since we don't make out as often. Weird thing is I don't miss the sex so much as eating her *****.
I started chatting on free date sites, and got talking to this woman and was really up front with her and told her everything. She was extraordinarily beautiful, and even wanted to talk after she saw my photo - it was a huge ego boost. But she wouldn't meet me because I was married, and even though I knew where she lived I respected her decision not to meet. We had an intense online relationship for a month, sexting, even phone "sex" and Kik "sex" - but eventually, we both agreed this was way too stupid and stopped.
I went to see a therapist about a month ago, but ran out when they called my name, I just couldn't do it, it seemed so humiliating that I'd have to tell someone what a f-k-up I'd become.
Now I've started chatting to another woman. I know it's ridiculous and stupid. It's like chewing at the corner of your nail, you know it's going to hurt when you yank it out and half you skin comes with it, but you do it anyway.
I posted a similar message in another forum - I'm wasn't looking for sympathy, nor advice really, but I have to say everyone was f-king mean!!!
I know I need professional help, and I did send out emails to three local therapists, but it's been several weeks and not a single reply, it's almost like my problem isn't worth their time.
Anyway, just needed a moan. I would appreciate any constructive comments - just try not to call me an ******* to my face, I already know that bit.


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## Spitfire (Jun 6, 2015)

I'll agree with you on one thing. You are fu**ed up. Go back to therapy and this time don't run when they call your name lol.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Get back in therapy fastly, my friend! And without equivocation!

As is, you're literally flirting with a hydrogen bomb!*


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

OK you are screwing up your life and you know it If you can't fix this yourself, then go to therapy and stay there until you can fix it. 

You are on a path to total destruction. End of your marriage. No job prospects. I can't imagine alcohol or drug addiction are far behind, but even without them, you are looking at a miserable waste of a life if you continue. Life is not going to give you another chance on this one. 

This isn't a a case of right / wrong, but of self-destruction.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

Sounds like you are bored and depressed...best way to get out of that is to do things. Write a to do list every day and stick with it, go out looking for a job, go work out, start a hobby, etc. Sitting on line looking at porn all day is a waste of time. To me you are in a vicious circle, instead of playing the victim get out and do things. Better life comes from action. I always feel good at the end of the day when I have had a productive day, lots of exercise, did stuff around the house, etc.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

...and don't waste any more time chatting with these losers online. A bunch of bored people sending fake pics to each other...no thanks!


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Wow.....a guy without a job who lets his wife support him while he looks for *****s online. 

Classy.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

Plus he says the first person he met online was extraordinarily beautiful, chances are that was a fake pic...it amazes me that he would think some beautiful lady would want to meet a middle aged married guy. I call bull **** on that one...and if you believe that OP I have some swamp land to sell you. She was fake and was probably going to start asking for money. I hate too when people say it boosted my ego...please maybe instead start working out way better than some fake stranger telling you bull**** compliments online. Get counselling!


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

lifeistooshort said:


> Wow.....a guy without a job who lets his wife support him while he looks for *****s online.
> 
> Classy.


Yeah,he sounds like a real prize.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

lifeistooshort said:


> Wow.....a guy without a job who lets his wife support him while he looks for *****s online.
> 
> Classy.


And even classier, one whose screen name talks about how he loves 'lips' and loves to 'eat his wife's *****."

I'm picturing a very unattractive, overweight slob in a food stained t-shirt typing away with *one *hand all day long while a pile of dirty dishes stacks up around his computer as he waits for his meal ticket wife to come home and clean up after him.

Can you imagine what lover boy night accomplish if he actually used TWO hands on his keyboard looking for a JOB on Careerbuilder.com?


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

jimloveslips said:


> Hey all, how's it hanging...
> So, a few months ago I got laid-off, been working there ten years, whole department closed down, bit of a shock.
> I'm having a real problem getting motivated to find another job.
> I'm applying for jobs to satisfy UC conditions, but most I'm either not qualified for (not my industry), or I'm way over-qualified for and they won't pay what I'm asking... but frankly I don't care.
> ...




I also worked for 10 years at my last job and when the oil industry crashed, I too got layed off. I went on EI, went to Work BC, helps with resumes, interviewing and job searching, had many job interviews and finally settled on a job. The shock of being layed off after 10 years was tough for me and it took quite a while to get a job I liked and stuck with it. Now I've been at my current job for over 1 year now. Oil is starting to pick up a little and I could apply in my field again, maybe Spring 2018.


During this transition time I did all the chores, so my wife had nothing to do when she got home from work. This backfired because she didn't like that even though she did like it.


She would rip into me about jobs every day to the point I was just going to back it up and leave. She wasn't very understanding and she was brutal. Looking back through this, most of it was unnecessary and made my layoff much worse than it really was, much much worse. I could handle my layoff better than she could.


Get help, therapy, go to an EI job help company to get your resumes and cover letters up to speed and get out there. Gets your confidence up and you'll get a job much faster.


My final advice is either divorce your wife and go for this other woman, or ditch this other woman and be faithful to your wife. Doing both will ruin you. And find another way to deal with the stress insead of going to porn.


You've got to man up and deal with it like I did.


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## jimloveslips (Sep 26, 2017)

Awesome, thanks very much, I just learned that there are sad fuçks worse off then me - they hang out at "Talk About Marriage" - I feel SO much better already.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

jimloveslips said:


> Awesome, thanks very much, I just learned that there are sad fuçks worse off then me - they hang out at "Talk About Marriage" - I feel SO much better already.


A lot of people don't realize (or maybe care?) when, no matter how "right" they may be, that these kinds of responses are not helpful. But you did get some non-angry ones that are spot on. Your behavior and attitudes are very, very risky and not healthy to you or your marriage and wife. Therapy is the way to go. Humiliation that you are somewhere is less important than being able to accept that that is where you are.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

... Bear in mind that it is not the slightest bit unusual for people to come on here and say... this is my reality. The plug their fingers in their virtual ears and be completely unwilling to listen. Is that you?


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

jimloveslips said:


> Awesome, thanks very much, I just learned that there are sad fuçks worse off then me - they hang out at "Talk About Marriage" - I feel SO much better already.


Please wash your hands before you flip us off. Oh, I banned your other account too.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

jimloveslips said:


> Awesome, thanks very much, I just learned that there are sad fuçks worse off then me - they hang out at "Talk About Marriage" - I feel SO much better already.


Man I bet the hot women in your city are crazy for you.What a specimen of manhood!
Unemployed,illiterate.can only get it up for porn "actresses",actively cheating on his wife with other weirdos online who are probably of the same ilk as yourself, perfect examples of the male species.
Again what a man!!!
And how generous of you to share your successful life story with us poor losers here on tam.
We all thank you from the bottom of our hearts.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

jimloveslips said:


> Awesome, thanks very much, I just learned that there are sad fuçks worse off then me - they hang out at "Talk About Marriage" - I feel SO much better already.


Get over yourself and face up to reality mate. You need professional help so instead of being a whiny ***** on here when people call you out, be a man for once in your life, face up to your demons and stay when they call your name out. Become the man worthy of your wife, you still have time to turn things around. You may also need some medical help for depression.


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