# How long does the pain last?



## Yolo2019 (10 mo ago)

Amicable divorce between my wife of many years and myself. Helped her move into her new home recently. The emotional pain is some of the most intense I have ever felt. It surprises me considering the split was mutual and we still talk and help each other out.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Usually it doesn't help seeing the person. A clean break and cutting contact will help you heal. It's as if the wound can't heal if you carry on contact.
Plus for you it's early days. It takes time.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

Depends on why you divorced too. Why did you divorce?


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Yolo2019 said:


> Amicable divorce between my wife of many years and myself. Helped her move into her new home recently. The emotional pain is some of the most intense I have ever felt. It surprises me considering the split was mutual and we still talk and help each other out.


Nobody can really answer that question for you, sorry to say.

But the more important question for you right now is “how can I move on even with the pain”

This is a grieving process. Grief over the death of your marriage.
People deal with it in various ways and durations.

The best thing you can do is to get re-centered and take care of you. Start a new normal. Don’t shut out the pain, but don’t dwell in it either. Surround yourself with a good support system and let yourself heal.

But remember to push yourself just a little each day.
After a while, the sharp edges will be less.

As @Diana7 said, you absolutely MUST cut all contact with her. Each time you break that, everything starts all over again and you’re right back where you were.

Best of luck OP. Most of us have been where you are, and can tell you that there is hope. You’ll be just fine.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

There’s no guideline, unfortunately. It takes a lot of time for some and not so much for others. The one thing I learned well when dealing with my situation is that you can’t rush it. One day it will be fine but no one knows when that day is. In the meantime, enjoy doing what you want to do.


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

Openminded said:


> enjoy doing what you want to do.


Yes. The sooner your start, the sooner things will get better for you. Others are right, no one can say when.


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## Mr Jim (10 mo ago)

I'm going through what you're going through and its not easy but one thing for certain, I will not help my wife move or do anything. I'll answer a question about something but I have no intention of being " friends".
What I have noticed that makes it more difficult is that women often rally around other women going through a divorce. They treat them like superheroes. You go girl or stay strong when they don't know thing one about the circumstances whereas guys just go about their business as usual.


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