# I Think My Pregnant Wife Is Cheating and I’m Powerless to Stop It



## bluestripes (Jun 28, 2014)

I’m in my mid 40s and my wife is 10 years younger. We’ve been married for 9 years and have 2 kids with another one on the way. Our relationship was great until i started an affair with a coworker (mostly PA) about 8 months ago, it lasted for 3 months. It ended when my wife told me that she was 7 weeks pregnant with baby #3, i realized how horrible and selfish my action was and ended it with AP but she went bat**** crazy and sent my wife all of our email history and hotel receipt. As expected she got very angry and hysterical, after dday i stayed at our home for 3 days before she decided that i should left. 

She went to divorce lawyer but later he told her that divorce process while pregnant will be much more difficult compare to normal divorce and ask her to consider to continue after the baby is born. I begged, pleaded and stalked so she could just hear my explanation but she wanted none of it. She wouldn’t even tell me her routine check-up schedule, she also asked her sister to drive the kids to my apartment during weekend because she didn’t want to see me. 

At 15 weeks mark her sister called, wife was taken to ER because she passed out. Her doctor told us that her depression and anxiety took a toll on her physical condition and the baby’s. She was at risk for preterm labor and miscarriage. My wife admitted that she was also exhausted because she had to managed 2 small kids by herself. I felt like **** and knew that i caused it. I offered to stay at the guest bed and helped her with daily chore so she can relax a bit, she accepted. So i went back, and took a lot of her chores. She takes pregnant yoga class, goes to meditation class and it helps her a lot. I suggested MC but she said it’d cause added stress so i didn’t push it 

She joined a book club few years ago and still goes there weekly. Problem is there’s a man who’s also a member (a divorcee about my age, wealthy) whom i suspected to have a crush on her ever since she joined the club. Usually she’d brushed him off easy, but situation is very different now. Our marriage is in ruin and emotionally+physically she’s very vulnerable. I snooped her phone and saw a lot of text from him supporting her and telling her jokes but these texts escalated to 50 texts daily and few after 9 pm. He even offered to accompany her for baby stuff shopping and told her that he already bought a push present for her, WTF ?? 2 weeks ago when i picked her up from the club meeting i saw him standing too close from her and put both of his hands on her belly, they were talking but i saw that kind of look from him. I was very uncomfortable and interrupted them. I asked her what’s up with him and she said that he was just being nice. I said to her that it looks beyond friendly and she said that i was being paranoid and just because i cheated that doesn’t mean everyone (meant her) is capable of that. I didn’t say anything after

I think it’s an EA, maybe i’m being overly paranoid here but there’s possibility that it’s headed to PA. She’s a very attractive woman and the pregnancy just makes her even hotter. My wife is usually very very horny during pregnancy but she won’t even touch me, hell even if i want to touch her belly i have to ask for permission. Yes my affair is the cause of it but it made me thinks, if it’s not from me where will she get it ? Dildo? sure maybe, but the closest guy (except me) to her is that man and if he sets the mood right i’m afraid she might break

I don’t buy that this guy is just being friendly, he knows that her guard is down and took the opportunity to be close to her. Problem is i feel like i shouldn’t say anything about him to her because it looks like he makes her happier and at this period she needs to be relaxed and happy. If it wasn’t for my affair we wouldn’t be here so i just have to shut up and endure. Can you give me advice, what should i do ?


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

She's not cheating on you. She kicked you out. She ended the relationship. You are back to help with the kids. Not to reconcile with her. You are her roommate now.

If your exwife hadn't gotten pregnant, you would still be with other woman. All three of you know that. That's why other woman went bat--- crazy. She was expecting a long term relationship with you. Did you tell her you were leaving your wife? When was the last time you spoke to her?

Hope everything works out for all the kids. Be a good dad to them.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

PhillyGuy13 said:


> She's not cheating on you. She kicked you out. She ended the relationship. You are back to help with the kids. Not to reconcile with her. You are her roommate now.
> 
> If your exwife hadn't gotten pregnant, you would still be with other woman. All three of you know that. That's why other woman went bat--- crazy. She was expecting a long term relationship with you. Did you tell her you were leaving your wife? When was the last time you spoke to her?
> 
> ...


:iagree:

She's definitely not cheating on you. She left you/kicked you out because you were having sex and a relationship with another woman. And at the same time as sleeping with your wife too? Eesh. I hope she's been tested. If your wife got pregnant while you were sleeping with your OW, then that's just....ew.


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## bluestripes (Jun 28, 2014)

Would is still be with OW ? Maybe, maybe not. We never talk about the future,expectation and my wife and family. It was a complete escape from daily world, i'd like to blame it on midlife crisis but i realized that i was just an *******, a very selfish egoist idiotic one. It's true what those books says, it's not because she's special but because she's the nearest willing one

After i broke it up with her i never contacted her, blacklisted her number and emails. She emailed me her nude photos few weeks ago, deleted it right away


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

yet again.... sigh....


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

"Escape from daily world"? Yea. Now your wife escaped all of that.

What do you want from your wife? She's done and I don't blame her.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

Like I said, try to be a good dad to those kids. 

And yes you and your wife should be tested for STDs. Not sure if this is done standard during pregnancy anyway.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Philat said:


> yet again.... sigh....


I'm sitting in my truck, waiting for my coffee in the Starbucks drive-thru, and laughing my @$$ off.

_Posted via *Topify* using iPhone/iPad_


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## HarryDoyle (Jan 19, 2013)

OK, I'm not a woman but I married one in real life, and there's two times you don't want to screw around with them (or on them), pregancy and menopause. Hormones are a powerful thing and you have basically told your wife that she is unattractive and worthless. She's carrying your child and you're carrying on with another woman. This is not going to get any better, ever heard of post partum blues? You volunteered to come home, she didn't ask. Keep playing the good dad, you might get a good custody agreement.


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## bluestripes (Jun 28, 2014)

I'm not defending myself in anyway here, it's 100% on me and i know that

The situation was like this, i lost a lifetime opportunity job and instead of admitting that it's my fault alone i projected my self-hate to my wife, i was so upset and instead of talking to my wife i talked to her. Also usually wife initiated sex but during this period she rarely did, that adds another justification in my head. She later said that she didn't initiate sex because i looked withdraw and moody so she didn't want to put another burden on me. I was moody because of the false projection to her. It was all on me all along


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## bluestripes (Jun 28, 2014)

HarryDoyle said:


> OK, I'm not a woman but I married one in real life, and there's two times you don't want to screw around with them (or on them), pregancy and menopause. Hormones are a powerful thing and you have basically told your wife that she is unattractive and worthless. She's carrying your child and you're carrying on with another woman. This is not going to get any better, ever heard of post partum blues? You volunteered to come home, she didn't ask. Keep playing the good dad, you might get a good custody agreement.


Affair started before she got pregnant, i stopped after she told me we're expecting #3


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

Even by some miracle she continues with the marriage she will never forgive you. Like others stated just be a great dad.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

If I've learned ANYTHING from the women I know, cheating while your wife is pregnant is worse than sleeping with her sister, Bff or mother. You crossed a line period, but you tied some bricks to your feet when you jumped in the deep end.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

*Re: Re: I Think My Pregnant Wife Is Cheating and I’m Powerless to Stop It*



bluestripes said:


> Affair started before she got pregnant, i stopped after she told me we're expecting #3


Doesn't matter. Your wife found out while she was pregnant. That increased the betrayal exponentially for her.

Sometimes things get so broken they can't be fixed. The lesson here is don't cheat. Doesn't feel very good does it?


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

Funny how it is when the tables are turned...

From this end anyway.

I'm sure it hurts OP but I'm a big fan of the karma bus. You drive it over yourself. One of those freak accidents that happens when you are doing something stupid whole under the influence.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Did you tell her that she can see other people ? What were your terms(or hers) when you moved back in ?


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

Does it matter? He didn't ask her permission.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

PhillyGuy13 said:


> She's not cheating on you. She kicked you out. She ended the relationship. You are back to help with the kids. Not to reconcile with her. You are her roommate now.
> 
> If your exwife hadn't gotten pregnant, you would still be with other woman. All three of you know that. That's why other woman went bat--- crazy. She was expecting a long term relationship with you. Did you tell her you were leaving your wife? When was the last time you spoke to her?
> 
> ...


:iagree:

I couldn't have said it better.


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## Rugs (Apr 12, 2013)

HarryDoyle said:


> OK, I'm not a woman but I married one in real life, and there's two times you don't want to screw around with them (or on them), pregancy and menopause. Hormones are a powerful thing and you have basically told your wife that she is unattractive and worthless. She's carrying your child and you're carrying on with another woman. This is not going to get any better, ever heard of post partum blues? You volunteered to come home, she didn't ask. Keep playing the good dad, you might get a good custody agreement.



I don't think it's hormones but the ultimate slap in the face. It's supposed to be the happiest time in life. Building a family and making it stronger.....and then you realize you're married to a douchbag and COMPLETLY alone and humiliated. 

It's an awful thing. I could never forgive this. Let you're wife go find a good man and until then, support her and help her. Then just be the best dad you can.


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

You might talk to your wife's friend/lover---whatever he is---and ask him to step back, at least until the child is born, and also to step back for the well being of your children

Yes you cheated---but what is best for your kids, is as normal a situation as is possible, and your wife messing with another man thru this situation is not helping

Ask your wife also to stay away from her friend/lover for the same reasons----once the child has been born, and hopefully healthy---then you can go from there-----that is all you can really do----if you push anything else, you may cause your wife and her unborn child problems


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## JustHer (Mar 12, 2013)

jnj express said:


> You might talk to your wife's friend/lover---whatever he is---and ask him to step back, at least until the child is born, and also to step back for the well being of your children
> 
> Yes you cheated---but what is best for your kids, is as normal a situation as is possible, and your wife messing with another man thru this situation is not helping
> 
> Ask your wife also to stay away from her friend/lover for the same reasons----once the child has been born, and hopefully healthy---then you can go from there-----that is all you can really do----if you push anything else, you may cause your wife and her unborn child problems


:iagree:

I feel for you dude, but I feel more for your wife. I know you are hurting but your hurt doesn't even come close to what your wife is going through and will go through for probably years to come.

You admit to what you have done and take all the blame, but that is not going to stop the consequences from coming. You choose the action - you choose the consequence. She has to live with the fact that you cheated on her and threw away your marriage and you get to live with the fact that you cheated on her and threw away your marriage.

Be a man and make this as easy on her as possible - without any self serving agenda.


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## dgtal (Jun 11, 2010)

Can't believe. He (Blue) may not be qualified to received help from this site until he completely disconnect from the POSOW who still shows up as an option for him. But somebody said: “He who is without sin among you, let him throw the first stone… ..."

You may or may not have another chance. That depends on your wife. and YES YOUR WIFE, you are not divorced yet.

Make sure her and the OM stop interacting. Divorce process hasn't even started, therefore, a revenge affair is not an option IMO. I don't think people in this site will support a revenge affair. If that is what people in CWI wants then:
1.- Let her have an affair with a married man and joint another family to the club of misery. Or
2.- Wait until she get infected with a very bad STD and pass it over the whole family until the divorce process is finished. Or
3.- Let her get pregnant by the POSOM and the mess will be quadruplicated.

Be vigilant and stop begging for forgiveness. It may be over in...in about... 5 TO 7 YEARS!!!

(Do not follow her, follow him if you want to play James Bond)


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## Turin74 (Apr 11, 2014)

He (OP) is 'qualified' and is getting help - perhaps he is just getting not what he wanted to hear, but help nevertheless. 

Also I do not belive he has any moral right to try to stop or demand his wife to stop seeing another man. OP has forfeited this right when cheated on his wife, mother of his children. 

I also disagree the fact that divorce process hasn't been initiated puts some extra moral obligation on his wife, the BW. She clearly kicked the OP out, it took her to pass out until she agreed to take his help with just chores. 

Finally, they're many stories here, when BH who starts dating before the divorce - seriously or just to heal his wounds gets a lot of 'atta boy' types of messages. Don't see why women should get different treatment. I'm glad people here are not hypocrites, and a BS gets the same support irrespective from his/her sex.




dgtal said:


> Can't believe. He (Blue) may not be qualified to received help from this site until he completely disconnect from the POSOW who still shows up as an option for him. But somebody said: “He who is without sin among you, let him throw the first stone… ..."
> 
> You may or may not have another chance. That depends on your wife. and YES YOUR WIFE, you are not divorced yet.
> 
> ...


 _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## Wolfman1968 (Jun 9, 2011)

PhillyGuy13 said:


> She's not cheating on you. She kicked you out. She ended the relationship. You are back to help with the kids. Not to reconcile with her. You are her roommate now.
> 
> If your exwife hadn't gotten pregnant, you would still be with other woman. All three of you know that. That's why other woman went bat--- crazy. She was expecting a long term relationship with you. Did you tell her you were leaving your wife? When was the last time you spoke to her?
> 
> ...


This says it all.

No more thread is needed. This response, it's..........perfection.......


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

You know how it is. As soon as you get rid something that you think you no longer need, you find that you really did have a use for it after all.

You threw your wife and your kids away. That other man rescued them.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## dgtal (Jun 11, 2010)

In accordance with Bluestripes' she started seen the OM WAaaaY before he started the PA with the crazy nympho lady who couldn't keep her mouth shot. It will be difficult for him to find out what happened during that time. She did not cheat? lol. If I were you I would do a paternity test to the baby ASAP


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

dgtal said:


> In accordance with Bluestripes' she started seen the OM WAaaaY before he started the PA with the crazy nympho lady who couldn't keep her mouth shot. It will be difficult for him to find out what happened during that time. She did not cheat? lol. If I were you I would do a paternity test to the baby ASAP


OP did not say that his wife started anything with the guy in the book club way before he started his affair. The fact that the guy was in the book club does not mean there was an affair going on.

"nympho" lady who couldn't keep her mouth shot? Really.. if only she had not told on the OP everything would be good. Really?


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## dgtal (Jun 11, 2010)

EleGirl said:


> OP did not say that his wife started anything with the guy in the book club way before he started his affair. The fact that the guy was in the book club does not mean there was an affair going on.


As far as OP stated, this is the sequence of events:
1.	“We’ve been married for 9 years”
2.	“She joined a book club few years ago… there’s a man who’s also a member (a divorcee about my age, wealthy) whom i suspected to have a crush on her…”
3.	“…i started an affair with a coworker (mostly PA) about 8 months ago, it lasted for 3 months”
4.	“…ended when my wife told me that she was 7 weeks pregnant...she went bat**** crazy and sent my wife all of our email history and hotel receipt…”
5.	“…i stayed at our home for 3 days before she decided that i should leave…” 
6.	“…At 15 weeks mark….wife was taken to ER…”
7.	“…I snooped her phone and saw a lot of text from him supporting her and telling her jokes but these texts escalated to 50 texts daily…”
8.	“….2 weeks ago when i picked her up from the club meeting i saw him standing too close from her…”

Understanding the timing facts makes some difference on the approach. Of course, nobody here knows, no even the OP what really happened between his wife and the Knight in the White Horse who came to " rescue" her...


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## roostr (Oct 20, 2012)

What a mess, and totally avoidable. I don't know why some people get married.


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## dgtal (Jun 11, 2010)

Remove the "crazy nympho" and the "knight on the white horse" out of the script and the dynamic of this mess will take another direction. Maybe toward R.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

dgtal said:


> As far as OP stated, this is the sequence of events:
> 1.	“We’ve been married for 9 years”
> 2.	“She joined a book club few years ago… there’s a man who’s also a member (a divorcee about my age, wealthy) whom i suspected to have a crush on her…”
> 3.	“…i started an affair with a coworker (mostly PA) about 8 months ago, it lasted for 3 months”
> ...


Nice list. Honestly, I don't care. I'm not going to feed his ego. He needs to work on himself before trying to accuse her of having an affair. Sure, though, he should drive his wife further away by dictating who she can talk to, after he just got finished screwing a woman while his wife is pregnant. 

All because the OP recognizes the signs he followed into his affair in this new guy.


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## Turin74 (Apr 11, 2014)

These are the facts. OP had an affair. Wife kicked him out. Wife clearly prefers any other company than her BH, including a friend from the club. 

The rest are either your interpretation (Knight on the white horse) or your interpretation over the OP interpretation (he had a crush on.her).

OP is getting a bitter pill... Because that's what he needs as any other cheater. 




dgtal said:


> EleGirl said:
> 
> 
> > OP did not say that his wife started anything with the guy in the book club way before he started his affair. The fact that the guy was in the book club does not mean there was an affair going on.
> ...


 _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

dgtal said:


> In accordance with Bluestripes' she started seen the OM WAaaaY before he started the PA with the crazy nympho lady who couldn't keep her mouth shot. It will be difficult for him to find out what happened during that time. She did not cheat? lol. If I were you I would do a paternity test to the baby ASAP


False.


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## dgtal (Jun 11, 2010)

PhillyGuy13 said:


> False.


Honestly, I don't care
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

You don't care about?


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

dgtal said:


> Honestly, I don't care
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


LOL. You wouldn't have tried to call the wife a cheater if you didn't.


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## Turin74 (Apr 11, 2014)

Let's not let the facts to stay in a way of somebody's agenda, shell we? 



dgtal said:


> PhillyGuy13 said:
> 
> 
> > False.
> ...


 _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## waylan (Apr 23, 2014)

KARMA. She is a ***** isn't she....


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## dgtal (Jun 11, 2010)

We all respect, doesn't make sense to continue the discussion without the OP around. Maybe a troll?

Greetings


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

dgtal said:


> As far as OP stated, this is the sequence of events:
> 1.	“We’ve been married for 9 years”
> 2.	“She joined a book club few years ago… there’s a man who’s also a member (a divorcee about my age, wealthy) whom i suspected to have a crush on her…”
> 3.	“…i started an affair with a coworker (mostly PA) about 8 months ago, it lasted for 3 months”
> ...


His affair was 8 months ago. It ended at about the time his wife was 7 weeks pregnant. His wife threw him out.

8 weeks after that she went into the hospital and he checked her cell phone. She could have easily started text him a lot after she kicked her husband out.


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## BetrayedAgain7 (Apr 27, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> She could have easily started text him a lot after she kicked her husband out.


Yes, strange how quickly that happened and how he was so readily available. It's also strange to me how he had both hands on her belly and had "that look in his eyes". (Just like a father-to-be would do.) 

It's also quite a leap for me to believe that she got pregnant (by the OP) considering she and the OP had sex "rarely". Although not impossible of course.

But it's all supposition and inconsequential really now that the OP has apparently abandoned this thread.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

> (Just like a father-to-be would do.)


 LOL. I did it to a friend before I had my kids. I know a few unmarried guys who did the same to my wife. They started with one and went to two hands with shock. They were amazed that the baby was so active. He could have pulled up and mistook shock for "OMG he wants my wife."

Almost all cheaters, on TAM, seem to become hyper vigilant once they cheat.


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## BetrayedAgain7 (Apr 27, 2013)

phillybeffandswiss said:


> They started with one and went to two hands with shock.


Strange how we can attribute different meanings to someone's statement. 

I didn't interpret "the look" as a "shocked" look. I read it as a father-to-be look of love and tenderness for the mother of his child and the baby she was carrying. 

I've seen that look scores of times over the years so I guess it's not surprising. 

Unless the OP comes back we'll never know what he meant.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

BetrayedAgain7 said:


> Strange how we can attribute different meanings to someone's statement.
> 
> I didn't interpret "the look" as a "shocked" look. I read it as a father-to-be look of love and tenderness for the mother of his child and the baby she was carrying.
> I've seen that look scores of times over the years so I guess it's not surprising.


I read it as a freaked out cheater looking for an in to fix his marriage. I've seen the look you are talking about as well, over many years. I've also seen many people misinterpret things and make false accusations when they are cheating and projecting. Suddenly, the friend, acquaintance or coworker is a player and the significant other is or was cheating as well.

Yep, we will never know, but nothing wrong with discussing the issue.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

BetrayedAgain7 said:


> Strange how we can attribute different meanings to someone's statement.
> 
> I didn't interpret "the look" as a "shocked" look. I read it as a father-to-be look of love and tenderness for the mother of his child and the baby she was carrying.
> 
> ...


You interpreted it to fit what you want to believe. There is no way that you or I know what was or was not going on.


Before I start accusing someone of cheating, there needs to be solid evidence.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

BetrayedAgain7 said:


> Yes, strange how quickly that happened and how he was so readily available.


It still does not mean that there was anything going on between them before the OP's wife kicked her husband out.



BetrayedAgain7 said:


> It's also strange to me how he had both hands on her belly and had "that look in his eyes". (Just like a father-to-be would do.)


Words of a cheater trying cover his bad actions.



BetrayedAgain7 said:


> It's also quite a leap for me to believe that she got pregnant (by the OP) considering she and the OP had sex "rarely". Although not impossible of course.


Oh gee, a pregnancy can result from any one sexual encounter. This is trying so hard to turn his wife into a cheater. Why are you wanting to make her a cheater so badly?



BetrayedAgain7 said:


> But it's all supposition and inconsequential really now that the OP has apparently abandoned this thread.


yep


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## Jambri (Mar 19, 2013)

I hope you're not here looking for sympathy after cheating on your wife. That's pretty damn low. And she has every right to go after any man she sees fit to at this pont, and you have no right to object.

My 0.02


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

bluestripes said:


> I’m in my mid 40s and my wife is 10 years younger. We’ve been married for 9 years and have 2 kids with another one on the way. Our relationship was great until i started an affair with a coworker (mostly PA) about 8 months ago, it lasted for 3 months. It ended when my wife told me that she was 7 weeks pregnant with baby #3, i realized how horrible and selfish my action was and ended it with AP but she went bat**** crazy and sent my wife all of our email history and hotel receipt. As expected she got very angry and hysterical, after dday i stayed at our home for 3 days before she decided that i should left.
> 
> She went to divorce lawyer but later he told her that divorce process while pregnant will be much more difficult compare to normal divorce and ask her to consider to continue after the baby is born. I begged, pleaded and stalked so she could just hear my explanation but she wanted none of it. She wouldn’t even tell me her routine check-up schedule, she also asked her sister to drive the kids to my apartment during weekend because she didn’t want to see me.
> 
> ...



This sounds very similar for the former friends we had way back.

This guy and girl meet (our friends at the time). They date, get serious, move in together, she had a kid, they got married and his parents gave them one of their small houses to live in, pay off and own. This guy was HD and she was from what I could gather LD or almost to Average Drive AD. He would masturbate to porn and she caught him a few times. Instead of talking and meeting each others needs more, she didn't and he continued, which lead to him having oral sex with a few of her girlfriends during his lunch breaks. He even met another woman, who had a man, and she would come over and have sex with him and in the bedroom. Her man didn't mind for some reason. Then he got so guilty, he called it all off and this OW went crazy. Calling, texting, emailing his wife what they did, how often and described the inside of his house!!! Lets just say, DIVORCE sums it all up.

You cheated on your woman with a co worker (mainly sex PA) and would of probably continued to do so, but for the fact your wife got pregnant. Correct? Now you've stopped it all and are worried your pregnant wifee might be cheating on you? If she is, "let her" because you deserve it and then both of you, start fresh with each other and no more cheating. Cool? Then you will know how she felt and feels being cheated on by her loving husband, right? If your wifee is even hotter during the pregnancy and hornier too, but won't have sex with you? Oh yah, expect her to be seeing someone else or relieving herself manually and with toys. You broke her trust and hurt her. Now she is mad and doesn't completely trust you the same way, which is understandable.

I wish you the best brother and everything works out between the two of you.


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## bluestripes2.0 (Jul 2, 2014)

Hi, this is OP and i'm still here with new id. My computer went bsod and i lost all of my password so i couldn't log in for days



dgtal said:


> In accordance with Bluestripes' she started seen the OM WAaaaY before he started the PA with the crazy nympho lady who couldn't keep her mouth shot. It will be difficult for him to find out what happened during that time. She did not cheat? lol. If I were you I would do a paternity test to the baby ASAP


She met him in a book club way before i cheated but i don't think she cheated, when we were fine she was always nice to him but knew the boundaries. There were no signs of her cheating and she always turned off her phone after 7.30pm, now it's always on


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

bluestripes2.0 said:


> She met him in a book club way before i cheated but i don't think she cheated, when we were fine she was always nice to him but knew the boundaries. There were no signs of her cheating and she always turned off her phone after 7.30pm, now it's always on


You broke your marriage. 
Have you sat down and talked?
Has she told you the marriage is still on? 
Has she said, "look you are here until the baby is born?"
Has she said she still loves you?

I mean you two have to talk and see where your relationship is really at.


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## bluestripes2.0 (Jul 2, 2014)

BetrayedAgain7 said:


> Yes, strange how quickly that happened and how he was so readily available. It's also strange to me how he had both hands on her belly and had "that look in his eyes". (Just like a father-to-be would do.)
> 
> It's also quite a leap for me to believe that she got pregnant (by the OP) considering she and the OP had sex "rarely". Although not impossible of course.
> 
> But it's all supposition and inconsequential really now that the OP has apparently abandoned this thread.


He always has a crush on her and i believe once the huge opportunity rolled in he took it. About that moment, she said that she was having her down moment and told him about her fear for our unborn child, he supported her told her all the nice words and that she won't be alone, with his hand on her belly. She defined that as being friendly 

We didn't use protection and she said herself that sometimes she forgot to take her pill so yeah that's possible


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

bluestripes2.0 said:


> Hi, this is OP and i'm still here with new id. My computer went bsod and i lost all of my password so i couldn't log in for days
> 
> 
> 
> She met him in a book club way before i cheated but i don't think she cheated, when we were fine she was always nice to him but knew the boundaries. There were no signs of her cheating and she always turned off her phone after 7.30pm, now it's always on


They have this new thing, it's called 'password reset', everyone is using it. You should try it.


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

..also, glad it only took you a few days to figure out how to create a new account. Excellent work on that front.


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## bluestripes2.0 (Jul 2, 2014)

russell28 said:


> They have this new thing, it's called 'password reset', everyone is using it. You should try it.


Tried it, it'll send to my second email that i used only for TAM. It's new and i forgot the password too, hence the new id



russell28 said:


> ..also, glad it only took you a few days to figure out how to create a new account. Excellent work on that front.


cause i waited for my computer to be fixed, well it's fixed but it erased everything


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

bluestripes2.0 said:


> Tried it, it'll send to my second email that i used only for TAM. It's new and i forgot the password too, hence the new id


Should have used the password reset feature of that second email... I know, the blue screen wiped out all the temporary passwords you set up for your temporary accounts you use to post on sites like TAM... So what caused the blue screen of death, I'm curious.. was it your RAM chips not seated properly? Your video drivers? Odd that it wiped out your saved passwords.. how do you think that happend? Tell me how they 'fixed' it.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

russell28 said:


> Should have used the password reset feature of that second email... I know, the blue screen wiped out all the temporary passwords you set up for your temporary accounts you use to post on sites like TAM... So what caused the blue screen of death, I'm curious.. was it your RAM chips not seated properly? Your video drivers? Odd that it wiped out your saved passwords.. how do you think that happend? Tell me how they 'fixed' it.


Sounds like they reinstalled the os.


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

tom67 said:


> Sounds like they reinstalled the os.


Oh yea, when you reinstall the OS you can't have a websi*t*e *r*esend you your passw*o*rd... the password for the emai*l* you used to create the account you set up for the TAM... I forgot about that, thanks for c*l*earing it up.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

Ha! This thread is one of those that has the word we're not supposed to use but it starts with T and ends with two L's and has the letters R and O in it too.

Hi Walter! How is Carrie?

Signed,
SandC ver 1.0


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

russell28 said:


> Oh yea, when you reinstall the OS you can't have a websi*t*e *r*esend you your passw*o*rd... the password for the emai*l* you used to create the account you set up for the TAM... I forgot about that, thanks for c*l*earing it up.



Not a problem
Now go get some coffee please.


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

Ignore the bolded letters in my post, they were caused by my computer having a blue screen of death, (people that know how to reset email passwords usually call it bsod, people that are clueless about the computers, call it 'my puter broked'). It crashed right as I posted and seemed to bold some letters at random.


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

I need to point out something to you.



bluestripes said:


> I'm not defending myself in anyway here, it's 100% on me and i know that


Followed immediately by your defense and justification.....:smthumbup:



> The situation was like this, i lost a lifetime opportunity job and instead of admitting that it's my fault alone i projected my self-hate to my wife, i was so upset and instead of talking to my wife i talked to her. Also usually wife initiated sex but during this period she rarely did, that adds another justification in my head.


You cheated because you chose to cheat. You had/have internal issues which allowed you to stick you 11th finger in another woman. You can explain all the scenarios in your life you want....



> She later said that she didn't initiate sex because i looked withdraw and moody so she didn't want to put another burden on me. I was moody because of the false projection to her. It was all on me all along


Your wife knows you. Go figure. You were doing bad things and didn't want to tell her but she could still read it and it affected her......Wow, amazing how that works.

What you should do is be the best father you can be. And be there for your wife ONLY as much as she wants. Help with the kids and the house and give her the space she needs. All of your focus right now should be getting your third child into the world in as healthy of a way as can be done given this situation.


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## bluestripes2.0 (Jul 2, 2014)

russell28 said:


> Should have used the password reset feature of that second email... I know, the blue screen wiped out all the temporary passwords you set up for your temporary accounts you use to post on sites like TAM... So what caused the blue screen of death, I'm curious.. was it your RAM chips not seated properly? Your video drivers? Odd that it wiped out your saved passwords.. how do you think that happend? Tell me how they 'fixed' it.


5 sarcastic replies and nothing to do with the real topic, such a kind concern

I'm not much of computer guy, when i buy a computer i just look at the price tag and if it works or not. Why did my computer go bsod (what the techie guy told me) and how they fixed it ? No idea, he said some stuff that i didn't understand and i just asked him to fix it. All of the password and recovery q&a's were in it and it's gone. New id seems easier


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

sandc said:


> Ha! This thread is one of those that has the word we're not supposed to use but it starts with T and ends with two L's and has the letters R and O in it too.
> 
> Hi Walter! How is Carrie?
> 
> ...


You mean "tortoiseshell" of course, right sandc? In that case you are undoubtedly correct.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

bluestripes2.0 said:


> 5 sarcastic replies and nothing to do with the real topic, such a kind concern


I asked you "real topic" questions that remained unanswered.


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## bluestripes2.0 (Jul 2, 2014)

Dad&Hubby said:


> What you should do is be the best father you can be. And be there for your wife ONLY as much as she wants. Help with the kids and the house and give her the space she needs. All of your focus right now should be getting your third child into the world in as healthy of a way as can be done given this situation.


Thanks, yes i stupidly chose to cheat and failed to be a good husband, it's something that can't be undone. The damages are there and permanent because for my selfish actions. If she forgives me i'll be the happest man alive and if she won't i completely understand her. You're right that the best thing i can do for her right now is to support her in everyway and be the best dad for them


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

bluestripes2.0 said:


> 5 sarcastic replies and nothing to do with the real topic, such a kind concern
> 
> I'm not much of computer guy, when i buy a computer i just look at the price tag and if it works or not. Why did my computer go bsod (what the techie guy told me) and how they fixed it ? No idea, he said some stuff that i didn't understand and i just asked him to fix it. All of the password and recovery q&a's were in it and it's gone. New id seems easier


I'll give you advice, you should read some books that will help you. Here are my suggestions.

Internet for dummies.

Computers for dummies.

Web Forums for dummies.

They can be found here:

How-To Help and Videos - For Dummies

You should stop paying for stuff you don't understand... Next time ask 'techie guy' to explain what he did in a way you understand before you hand him a handful of crumpled up dollar bills. I'm sure you work hard for those. You'll need them to support your baby momma's.


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## bluestripes2.0 (Jul 2, 2014)

phillybeffandswiss said:


> You broke your marriage.
> Have you sat down and talked?
> Has she told you the marriage is still on?
> Has she said, "look you are here until the baby is born?"
> ...


. I tried but she doesn't want any added stress, i suggested MC but she refused because it can be emotionally demanding. She said that any permanent decision should be made later (for the good of the baby) and i don't want to push her
. She never talked to me about it, again i don't want to push. I don't want to make her cry or having another breakdown again
. We haven't set the limitation yet
. No, one time she said that she doesn't want anything bad happen to me because she still cares, but not the L word

Yes we have to talk but not now, timing isn't right especially now when she's in final trimester. We'll have it in the future


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## mahike (Aug 16, 2011)

Start MC without her. Make the appointment and just start going. Let her know what you are doing and why. Bring back a business card so she knows you are really doing this. Tell her when she is ready to join you and you hope she does it will be when she is ready.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

The BSOD could be a simple registry issue...Is that windows XP?

Wait..what are we discussing here ?


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

warlock07 said:


> The BSOD could be a simple registry issue...Is that windows XP?
> 
> Wait..what are we discussing here ?


We don't know, stuff we don't understand.. only techie guy has all the answers. 

I'm going to create a new profile and log in from that one to see if it clears things up. I'll be russell28_v01a (the a is for alpha)


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

mahike said:


> Start MC without her. Make the appointment and just start going. Let her know what you are doing and why. Bring back a business card so she knows you are really doing this. Tell her when she is ready to join you and you hope she does it will be when she is ready.


He needs to know if there is a marriage first. Why waste money if the decision has already been made? There are many ended marriages where one former spouse says " I don't want anything bad to happen to you," but it doesn't mean they want to stay married to the person. Timing isn't right, but you are complaining the other guy is trying to replace you and she is having an affair? That's what you keep implying, so you either discuss this without being a jerk or you come back and tell us they moved in together.

Oh and no, I do not think she is having or had an affair. I do think she is talking to someone she trusts because it isn't you. Also, she threw you out and she may have moved on.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

Counseling for himself seems like a really good idea. He cheated because of him and he will be with himself in his next relationship so...


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## dgtal (Jun 11, 2010)

Bluestripe, do you really know what is actually going on (as of today) with your preg. beautiful wife and the OM? if yes, how do you know it?


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## bluestripes2.0 (Jul 2, 2014)

phillybeffandswiss said:


> Timing isn't right, but you are complaining the other guy is trying to replace you and she is having an affair? That's what you keep implying, so you either discuss this without being a jerk or you come back and tell us they moved in together.


It was a one time conversation with her, more like asking.When i implied that it looked beyond friendly and she snapped i stopped. What made me think that she's possibly having one is because of the texts. 



phillybeffandswiss said:


> Oh and no, I do not think she is having or had an affair. I do think she is talking to someone she trusts because it isn't you. Also, she threw you out and she may have moved on.


Agree i don't think she had one too. She may have moved on but we don't talk about it so i'm still hoping


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## bluestripes2.0 (Jul 2, 2014)

dgtal said:


> Bluestripe, do you really know what is actually going on (as of today) with your preg. beautiful wife and the OM? if yes, how do you know it?


Possible OM, i'm not sure yet. Their interactions are mainly from texts. The last time i checked none of the texts are sexually suggestive. Mostly compliments (from both), supports, how their day went, jokes. That's what i know
Still on her phone a lot but rarely go out because she's now in her last trimester


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## Turin74 (Apr 11, 2014)

russell28 said:


> I'm going to create a new profile and log in from that one to see if it clears things up. I'll be russell28_v01a (the a is for alpha)



The provider of my home wifi solution can not make their firmware to progress away from beta release. 

I'm now going to call them to tell then to man up and read MMSLP.

Sorry couldn't resist.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## Turin74 (Apr 11, 2014)

She's moving on. Good. 



bluestripes2.0 said:


> dgtal said:
> 
> 
> > Bluestripe, do you really know what is actually going on (as of today) with your preg. beautiful wife and the OM? if yes, how do you know it?
> ...


 _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## BetrayedAgain7 (Apr 27, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> Words of a cheater trying cover his bad actions.


Maybe. Maybe not. You didn't/ don't know that anymore than I did/do. He's a cheater for sure, that we do know. Anymore than that I'm not so sure about.

He hasn't said enough about what really went on IMO to know one way or the other. Yet. 




> Oh gee, a pregnancy can result from any one sexual encounter. This is trying so hard to turn his wife into a cheater. Why are you wanting to make her a cheater so badly?


Oh gee, just playing devil's advocate EleGirl. No need to get so sarky and split my posts up to make your point. 



> yep


Well yeah. That's what I said all right.


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