# Suggestions to last for 10 to 15 minutes during PIV?



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Do most people agree this is the ideal duration for PIV? If anyone has experience with going longer than 20 minutes, how did you reduce your stamina?

Our sex life is good and frequent 3 to 5 times per week, but in more cases than not I go longer than my wife likes.


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## 4x4 (Apr 15, 2014)

For me, duration depends a lot on overall frequency. When going at it 2-3 times a day, 20 mins plus sessions every time would make me raw after a couple of days. If frequency is once a day or less, longer sessions are okay. If she's going to O, it's almost always with 15 seconds to 5 mins so a long PIV isn't required.

To me, stamina is all about whether I'm focusing more on her pleasure or mine. So if I wanted to finish faster, I'd just focus on my own good feelings more.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

I think you are asking a guy-stamina related question, so I'm not sure if my answer will address it. We can go for a very long time, very enjoyably...and we typically choose to go for about 30-40 mins of just PIV, ie: this doesn't include other types of sex or play we might do...so most sessions last in total over an hour. We switch positions several times usually. We also switch momentum and pace and intensity around between sweet and sexy and raunchy and naughty and sensual and etc etc. So we might hit several excellent moments of very sweet loving face touching type stuff, and also several moments of wild screeching and hair tossing, all in the same session.

I don't know for sure, but I think this mix up is how he keeps up his stamina. Because I know he could go off within a few minutes, but doesn't (except in the rare quickie). He likes it to last and he savors it very well. Switching up the pace and flavor of the encounter seems to be how he makes it last so long.


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## imtamnew (May 13, 2013)

Do you mean you last 15-20 mins of thrusting and your wife would like it to take less time?

Do you use a condom or consume alcohol before having sex?


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

No condom use and I don't drink much during the week or even in a month. Almost never drink alcohol prior to sex and neither does my wife. 

I do use porn and masturbate, so perhaps this affects me more than I realize. I know excess masturbation has had an effect on me before - like if I masturbated 3 times during the day and then had sex at night it would be of long duration. But I've also had circumstances where I've used no porn nor masturbated for 10 - 14 days and upon return still took 20 min or longer via PIV sex.

Yes, changing positions is a way to increase stamina (penetration to ejaculation), but we aren't always changing things up during a love making session. 

I think that's all the background I can think of at the moment.


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## IndyTMI (Oct 26, 2012)

My wife seems to like for it to take longer.

I've gotten to the point where I can mostly control when I top off.

To shorten the span, I found if I masturbate in the morning or during the day, but don't go to completion, that gets me built up and makes it easier to hit when my wife is having hers.

I also found that if she touches/rubs my balls and perineum, that usually sets me off pretty quickly.


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Do most people agree this is the ideal duration for PIV? If anyone has experience with going longer than 20 minutes, how did you reduce your stamina?
> 
> Our sex life is good and frequent 3 to 5 times per week, but in more cases than not I go longer than my wife likes.


I'm 52 years old and can last as long as I want to. Sometimes my wife gets friction burns even with lots O lube. What I try to do is take a shower first and edge while she is in the shower. That reduces my overall time to liftoff.


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

What about instead of decreasing your own stamina, you focus on increasing her pleasure? Then she won't want you to stop.

I've definitely noticed that the more porn my SO watches, the crappier and the more boring sex is with him. Porn seems to teach that women's pleasure is meaningless -- or rather easily achieved just by a guy having an erection.


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

always_alone said:


> What about instead of decreasing your own stamina, you focus on increasing her pleasure? Then she won't want you to stop.
> 
> I've definitely noticed that the more porn my SO watches, the crappier and the more boring sex is with him. Porn seems to teach that women's pleasure is meaningless -- or rather easily achieved just by a guy having an erection.


That's ALWAYS a great idea. However, sometimes the planets just don't line up and you need to get it done. It's like eating a meal at a nice restaurant. Sometimes you order XYZ, your favorite meal, and it tastes just OK. Other times, that same food becomes the best meal you've ever had in your life.


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

badsanta said:


> I once read this story in a fetish forum where this guy stayed up all night edging, so that when his girlfriend got home from work for a session that he would only last for a few seconds.
> 
> The point of that poster was that he wanted to leave her frustrated and wanting more, but I will warn you that it did not work out to well for him.


What exactly happened? Curious minds want to know!


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

always_alone said:


> What about instead of decreasing your own stamina, you focus on increasing her pleasure? Then she won't want you to stop.
> 
> I've definitely noticed that the more porn my SO watches, the crappier and the more boring sex is with him. Porn seems to teach that women's pleasure is meaningless -- or rather easily achieved just by a guy having an erection.


I try to be as attentive of a lover as possible. I would be the less boring of the two if I had to answer that, but we are both normally passionate when we make love.

The primary issue is the fear of drying out. CO has greatly helped with that, but it's always in the back of her head. Sex can feel great for her for longer than 10 minutes easy, but she's happiest when she gets a HJ after I ejaculate or rubbing her while we are having sex. She rarely orgasms via PIV alone, and we've tried all kinds of positions and techniques. She enjoys PIV a lot, but she needs clitoral stimulation or breast play concurrently while doing PIV or me rubbing her to orgasm after I'm done. Oral on her does not feel good to her anymore except on rare occasions.

Sunday morning we made love. We started at 6:40 am and when we were done it was 7:30 am. Foreplay lasted only about 3 minutes and she wanted me to enter her right away. I think the reduced foreplay was the primary factor here. She didn't get antsy because on our 3rd or 4th position she ended up on her stomach with one leg pulled up while the other leg was straight and she was spreading. I was able to position myself to support myself with one arm while I reached around and rubbed her with my left hand. It was hot. If we would have done that earlier, I think I could have gone quicker, so maybe some of it is mental for me.


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

UMP said:


> However, sometimes the planets just don't line up and you need to get it done.


Oh, yes, I know. My SO also has some ED issues which require q great deal of creativity on my part. 

But OP is talking 10 to 15 minutes, which isn't very long in the grand scheme of things ---IF the pleasure is there, that is.


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## I Don't Know (Oct 8, 2013)

When you masturbate do you go for a quick release or do you string it out?

Just a thought, but if you can gain stamina by masturbating but holding off on finishing, could masturbation with the goal of cuming quickly shorten stamina? 

I do think porn can get you desensitized or cause you to "need" more and more visual stimulation. At least I believe that happened to me. Took about a year of very little porn to make it POSSIBLE to get off in under 10 minutes. I could be totally wrong about what caused it, but that's what I think happened.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

always_alone said:


> Oh, yes, I know. My SO also has some ED issues which require q great deal of creativity on my part.
> 
> But OP is talking 10 to 15 minutes, which isn't very long in the grand scheme of things ---IF the pleasure is there, that is.


15 minutes would probably be ideal to my wife. 20 minutes is probably fine. It's when I get into 30 minutes of straight PIV or more that she starts to get anxious.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

I usually have to go 2-3 times with her because she is so ready and dripping wet. She is ready to go before I am. We are reversed from normal. I want to extend foreplay, but she's begging me to put in, so I do before I really want to and shes so wet, I have to stop after maybe 4-6 minutes. Take a short break and go again for another 3-5 min. Maybe have to do it a third time. She always says "sorry for being so wet" and I tell her (sincerely) "honey it's fine, I don't mind going 2-3 times at all!"

So to the question: yes, I'd say 15 minutes overall is near normal, but usually less. She almost always climaxes same time as me. As far as reducing time, I'd say doing it less often shortens the duration.


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> 15 minutes would probably be ideal to my wife. 20 minutes is probably fine. It's when I get into 30 minutes of straight PIV or more that she starts to get anxious.


Oh, okay. Sorry, I misunderstood your OP.

I'm like your wife in that straight PIV is not likely to bring me to orgasm. Very rare, in fact. I have gotten bored/antsy with sessions that go on for too long, and I'm not lost in the moment or feel like I'm chafing.

PIV with added stimulation, however, can bring me to a point where I wish it would never, ever end. I realize some positions make that challenging, and so it's helpful if she takes some of those matters into her own hands.

But I also get the sense that you're a bit bored too. So that might play a role as well.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

jorgegene said:


> I usually have to go 2-3 times with her because she is so ready and dripping wet. She is ready to go before I am. We are reversed from normal. I want to extend foreplay, but she's begging me to put in, so I do before I really want to and shes so wet, I have to stop after maybe 4-6 minutes. Take a short break and go again for another 3-5 min. Maybe have to do it a third time. She always says "sorry for being so wet" and I tell her (sincerely) "honey it's fine, I don't mind going 2-3 times at all!"
> 
> So to the question: yes, I'd say 15 minutes overall is near normal, but usually less. She almost always climaxes same time as me. As far as reducing time, I'd say doing it less often shortens the duration.


Just to understand, are you talking 2 - 3 separate encounters where you are ejaculating each time, or are you saying you have to pull out and let your wife come down for awhile because she orgasms too quickly? I assume the latter but want to make sure I get what you're saying.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Just to understand, are you talking 2 - 3 separate encounters where you are ejaculating each time, or are you saying you have to pull out and let your wife come down for awhile because she orgasms too quickly? I assume the latter but want to make sure I get what you're saying.


I'm saying the same session. I'm almost always on top and it's like doing push-ups. So, I gotta stop after a few minutes (I never actually time myself, could be longer or shorter, my wife says; 'you just did a thousand push-ups!', but of course probably only like 50-60). So, I go until I start getting a bit winded, or she's just so wet that I can't get enough stimulus, so I feel myself getting soft. I should add, I'm not a jackhammer, my style is slow and hard, not fast and jerky. The good thing is, when we take a short break, when I put it in again, she always feels much better and tighter. Like i said previously, our sexual match is perfect, because she can feel me just before I come off and she climaxes precisely when I do.


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## bigfoot (Jan 22, 2014)

Stop with the porn and masturbation, and no, the short time off that you've had with porn is not enough. you need to go at least one month without porn or masturbation.

No woman can compete with porn and your hand. Period. That is a scientific fact. Look it up. More cells firing, more dopamine released, different tightness of hand vs. vagina, etc., seriously, the tightest naturally occurring vagina attached to the hottest woman with the dirtiest mouth, and she is not gonna be able to stimulate you like porn and your hand.

That, my good sir, is all that it takes. If is also the hardest thing that you will ever do in your life. 30 days no fap, no porn, just your wife. Don't even fantasize to porn images while having sex. 

Before you know it, some intense foreplay, and about 10 minutes of PIV sex and you are gonna erupt.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Today I got it done in 10 - 15 minutes. Wasn't PIV sex though. But it was good that I was able to reduce my time. Since she's getting close to menstruation but still wants to be close to me, she told me to just concentrate on myself. So I did and I think it helped me to go off quicker. 

Maybe I tend to delay ejaculation without thinking about it because I'm trying to ensure she gets her share of pleasure.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

I am feeling a bit dim today, do you want to finish sooner?

If so then over here I tend to be the one to subtly get the job done. Mr H has amazing control over himself, he can finish in under 5 mins with a morning quickie or he can go for a very long time by controlling his breathing and rhythm. 
Sometimes I am done and would be happy for him to finish, I would never tell him to hurry up or anything that would take from his pleasure so I use my little bag of tricks because I know how to make him lose control.
Suck his nipples
or grab his arse if in missionary
or dirty talk.

Any or all of these and he is done in a minute.

Does your wife know which buttons to push to get you to O faster? Do you?


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Holland said:


> I am feeling a bit dim today, do you want to finish sooner?
> 
> If so then over here I tend to be the one to subtly get the job done. Mr H has amazing control over himself, he can finish in under 5 mins with a morning quickie or he can go for a very long time by controlling his breathing and rhythm.
> Sometimes I am done and would be happy for him to finish, I would never tell him to hurry up or anything that would take from his pleasure so I use my little bag of tricks because I know how to make him lose control.
> ...


My wife is an active participant when we have sex normally. But if I was really honest about it, I don't know what trick would set me off quickly. It wasn't that long ago - I think 3 weeks ago perhaps - where we had very passionate sex and I went in less than 10 minutes. I'll have to think back more on that and see if I can remember what did the trick. 

Right now, I'm thinking the porn and masturbation is my primary bane at the moment, and I'm going to concentrate on reducing the use of both. Damn this HD libido sometimes!!!


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Yes well it is easy with Mr H because he has some defined things that make him lose it so I can get him finished quite easily if I chose too. It is like a little game for us, him telling me I am being unfair, all the while loving what is happening. 
It may be worth seeing if you can find an action, words or whatever that can make you lose control.

Oh and never curse a high libido, it is pure bliss if able to be used to its full advantage. Mr H is mid 50's and his drive and stamina are increasing if anything. It is amazing to be a part of from my POV, it gives me a thrill that he is so sexual. He could easily have sex 3 times a day and more on the holidays.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Holland said:


> Yes well it is easy with Mr H because he has some defined things that make him lose it so I can get him finished quite easily if I chose too. It is like a little game for us, him telling me I am being unfair, all the while loving what is happening.
> It may be worth seeing if you can find an action, words or whatever that can make you lose control.
> 
> Oh and never curse a high libido, it is pure bliss if able to be used to its full advantage. Mr H is mid 50's and his drive and stamina are increasing if anything. It is amazing to be a part of from my POV, it gives me a thrill that he is so sexual. He could easily have sex 3 times a day and more on the holidays.


I get it about libido being a blessing. My only issue that my wife and I are at her technical absolute. Pretty much 4 times a week is going to be it for us. Maybe 5 times in a week once in awhile. At least 4 times/week has been consistent, but that's all I'll ever be able to get in a week.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

badsanta said:


> You gave her the picture album that I suggested that shows what happens in the future after she finally gives you a BJ?
> 
> Awesome!


It wasn't oral. It was PIA.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

badsanta said:


> *Well then if there is any chance your wife is a germaphobe the same way mine is (She refuses to use our hot tub that came with the house), you may want to refrain from PIA for a while before you ask for a BJ. *
> 
> It is like a documentary I watched on drinking water where conservation efforts are struggling to maintain the environment. Even though filtered water from the sewer is scientifically cleaner than water from a natural spring, no one wants to put something in their mouth that has been in the toilet.
> 
> ...


Funny how you tend to want what you cannot have.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Last night I think I lasted about 25 - 30 minutes with PIV. I didn't check clocks before and after, but that's what it felt like. Since I "time" myself fairly frequently anymore, it's probably close to accurate.

Making a point to not masturbate anymore. I haven't at all going on 3 days. So I'll keep at it and see if it results in better quality sex for us in the end.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

* Several sexual studies like Masters and Johnson has indicated that the "average" release time for the male, from PIV, is somewhere between 5 to 5-1/2 minutes.

Given that 15-20 minutes is much better than average, then anything going beyond that is simply like climbing Mount Everest! 

I'll greatly take two 5-minute orgasms, interspersed in the midst with orally bringing my lady off a second time ~ anyday, compared to working on a "solo" 20 minute one!*


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

arbitrator said:


> * Several sexual studies like Masters and Johnson has indicated that the "average" release time for the male, from PIV, is somewhere between 5 to 5-1/2 minutes.
> 
> Given that 15-20 minutes is much better than average, then anything going beyond that is simply like climbing Mount Everest!
> 
> I'll greatly take two 5-minute orgasms, interspersed in the midst with orally bringing my lady off a second time ~ anyday, compared to working on a "solo" 20 minute one!*


I agree wrt > 20 min of PIV sex. Then maybe if I can get consistently quicker (but not too fast!), then maybe 3/4 times a week will increase to 5/6 times a week. Primarily though it's for my wife because once I hit 20 min, it gets tedious for her (and me tbh) if it goes beyond that.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

arbitrator said:


> * Several sexual studies like Masters and Johnson has indicated that the "average" release time for the male, from PIV, is somewhere between 5 to 5-1/2 minutes.
> 
> Given that 15-20 minutes is much better than average, then anything going beyond that is simply like climbing Mount Everest!
> 
> I'll greatly take two 5-minute orgasms, interspersed in the midst with orally bringing my lady off a second time ~ anyday, compared to working on a "solo" 20 minute one!*


what is meant by 'average release time'? Is that the length of actual P.I.V.? I think a lot of us think we do it longer than we actually do. With me and my wife, our encounters usually last average of 1/2 hour to 45 min., We have actually timed that but I'm not sure about the 'release' time. It's hard to actually time myself because then I become self conscious and less able to concentrate on the task at hand.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Another good day of sex from a PIV only duration time. We had a lunchtime fling. I hit between 10 - 15 minutes. We have a projection clock that is easy to look at since it projects onto the ceiling. So I have a good handle on how long I normally lest from the time of first entry until ejaculation when doing PIV. I asked my wife her thoughts on whether she was happy with how long I went, and she was.

So far, I stopped masturbating and it appears to be doing the trick. I don't have any issues from a fullness/hardness standpoint, but since I stopped masturbation completely I felt even stronger and stiffer - even feeling more pulsing than normal.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Anything more than 15 minutes would start to feel long to me, IMO. Maybe.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> Anything more than 15 minutes would start to feel long to me, IMO. Maybe.


Hence this thread. My wife would agree with you, but maybe 20 min would be her max.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

badsanta said:


> OK Plan,
> 
> Take you wife to one of those crafting stores and buy a darning needle, and we can do some research to help out Keeper63
> 
> ...


Nah, I'll pass. Maybe vanilla is better than I thought!


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

I hit 15 min again for timed PIV with the wife this morning. No masturbation since last Monday (I think that was the day). I need to conduct more experiments to confirm my hypothesis...


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## FatherofTwo (Dec 6, 2014)

We'd often switch positions with a short minute break in between for passionate kissing and lots of groping !! 

When she's really into it she has this way of moaning and groaning that kills me so I try my best to tune her our and think about bills , taxes and whatnot just to not orgasm too soon ................. often to no avail  !!??

If and when this happens I'd usually finish her off with oral which she never complains about anyways WHEEWWW !!!


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

About 20 min PIV tonight. A little long but I'm getting there. I had a little relapse and did some self service a few times, which probably affected my duration. Pretty hot tonight, but not wild. That helps too.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Still think you could explore some hot trigger buttons to see if there are things that can make you O quicker. 

We will sometimes have 2 sessions in the evening, for some reason he can be ready and willing to go again within 10 mins but he is the initiator, not me. I know exactly what to say to make him cum in under 5 for the second round, otherwise he may well be at it for much longer and that is not so much fun for me.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Holland said:


> *Still think you could explore some hot trigger buttons to see if there are things that can make you O quicker. *
> 
> We will sometimes have 2 sessions in the evening, for some reason he can be ready and willing to go again within 10 mins but he is the initiator, not me. I know exactly what to say to make him cum in under 5 for the second round, otherwise he may well be at it for much longer and that is not so much fun for me.


Actually, I've taken your suggestions to heart and I've been trying to think about this plus observe what will tip me over the edge.

I may have stumbled upon one. In missionary position tonight, my wife grabbed my left arm and was squeezing me. When she did that, I wanted to flex a little for her. I think it helped me to finish quicker. Need to figure out more.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Not going to speak for anyone else but over here it greatly turns me on that I have a little list of things that I know will take him over the line faster. Is a power trip which I very much enjoy.

Maybe your wife might like to be a bit in charge of this? Maybe figure it out together.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

I confess that this entire thread is baffling. I like getting the floor mopped faster. The grocery shopping done faster. Laundry, hell yes, faster. Things I enjoy, like hiking, dancing, sex. Less so. I cannot understand why that is the goal. Unless she doesn't enjoy it.


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