# Thought I was doing so well ... :-(



## KNIFE IN THE HEART (Oct 20, 2011)

Have had many good days in a row. Then I called my mom's friend to let her know I was going through my mom's stuff to see if she wanted anything. (Mom passed away May 2010, husband left November 2010) She asked how I was doing. I asked if she heard I was separated and she said "Yes, I had to sit down for that one. You two went through a lot." Now it's all coming back and I am almost in tears. I was never close to my mom but there are days when I just want to call my mommy and cry.

I'd like to hear what you do when you get a bolt out of the blue like that. I am going to try to go to my happy place but sometimes that takes a huge amount of energy. Would be nice to hear some other techniques. Please help!!!


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## YupItsMe (Sep 29, 2011)

1. Dont tell yourself how hard it is. Rather, this too shall pass or something like that
2. Take one day, hour at a time and do something uplifting with as many of them as you can. 
3. Doing ANYTHING for yourself will make you feel better than doing nothing at all. 
4. Quiet walk, joke book, go watch a puppy at the pet shop tear up a napkin, buy a four year old playdoe, see a thought provoking movie.


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## Separated79 (May 28, 2011)

Look after yourself.....

Pray for the Strength if you are a believer of God
Eat and Sleep Well
Exercise 
Keep Busy 
Do things that will keep your mind of him
Also do try not to think of him and will only make u sad and down
So do the best you can not to think of him
Do what you always want to do...
Mingle with friends...
Do fun stuff...
Read Self Help Books 
Get Out and Travel
Try to compare your situation to the one whos got worse than you are..
Do a makeover of yourself...
Put things away that remind of him...
Talk everything out and cry it out...
Go therapy
Run/Walk/Jog
Be Positive

And always remember this no good things last forever and so is the suffering....

You will get through this....I promise you....


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## KNIFE IN THE HEART (Oct 20, 2011)

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

All great ideas - I'm actually going to play with Legos now. I loved doing this as a kid and it is a great way to be distracted.

I have bookmarked these responses because they are a great reminder when I have a down day.


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

Knife, you are where I WAS months ago. It is hard. Losing your spouse under any circumstance is painful. It took me quite a while to come to grips with my wayward wife and the changes she has gone through. It has taken a while for the hurt to subside. It has taken a while for the pain to ease. 

But guess what? The pain is gone. The hurt has been replaced with a feeling of optimism. The love is still there, but I've accepted that I have only the option of loving from a distance. 

Please know that many, including myself, have walked in your shoes. We've been there and done that. And it just gets easier with each passing day. Somewhere along the line, your life was intertwined with your husbands and now you are forced to stand all by yourself. Its not that you can't, because you know you can. Its just that you don't want to and neither did I. I must admit that I still don't want to but I know I have to. Right now, it would seem that you do, too.

You can do it. One day at a time...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Bess_hope (Oct 11, 2011)

KNIFE IN THE HEART said:


> Have had many good days in a row. Then I called my mom's friend to let her know I was going through my mom's stuff to see if she wanted anything. (Mom passed away May 2010, husband left November 2010) She asked how I was doing. I asked if she heard I was separated and she said "Yes, I had to sit down for that one. You two went through a lot." Now it's all coming back and I am almost in tears. I was never close to my mom but there are days when I just want to call my mommy and cry.
> 
> I'd like to hear what you do when you get a bolt out of the blue like that. I am going to try to go to my happy place but sometimes that takes a huge amount of energy. Would be nice to hear some other techniques. Please help!!!


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## Bess_hope (Oct 11, 2011)

Sorry Knife, I am still new to this forum. I posted some uplifting messages for you, but I don't think it went through. I agree with taking care of ourselves first by eating right, getting enough rest/sleep (sometimes that is hard), exercising and socializing with friends and family. Surround yourself with positive people. Hang in there...lets continue to support each other. Take care

Bess


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## Separated79 (May 28, 2011)

KNIFE IN THE HEART said:


> Thank you, thank you, thank you!
> 
> All great ideas - I'm actually going to play with Legos now. I loved doing this as a kid and it is a great way to be distracted.
> 
> I have bookmarked these responses because they are a great reminder when I have a down day.


And also...Don't focus your life in to one person who doesn't even want your love....
Open your eyes wide and see the beauty of life beyond you...
New experience,new friends,
Spread your love to the people you want to ..
and connect with the people you always wanted to do so...
Do not limit yourself in loving one person
Get a pet...
Plant a flower...
Volunteer...
Bake a cake...
Take a challenge...
Laugh a Lot...
And most of All
Love Yourself...


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## KNIFE IN THE HEART (Oct 20, 2011)

All great ideas and I have been making use of them. 

Does anyone know if we can print posts? I would like to print these and put them on my fridge as a daily reminder.

Thanks!!


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