# Are you hapy with the male role models on today's TV?



## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

My husband and I have gotten hooked on the James Gaffigan Show.

HE plays himself as a stand up comic; married and father of 5, living in a 2 Bd room apt in Manhattan. My husband which follows the message boards about TV says that's his real life as well.

Gaffigan tries to show that he's a good father. Puts up with his wife's ever present gay ex boyfriend and finds himself at time in cahoots with the local priest. All while his wife is usually right about everything.

My husband does not seem to be fussed about this but then he's not a father and has only married for one year (to me).

Do you men like the way men are portrayed in TV sitcoms and dramas?


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

IDK, when I watch TV/movies I just take it as a fantasy world and don't really read too much into how guys (or females) are portrayed.


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## thread the needle (May 4, 2015)

Sitcom dads aren't role models for one thing. 

Secondly, one of the most common comedy approaches is taking shots at authority figures. That is why so much comedy film puts cops, teaches and dads as a bumbling, pathetic idiots. 

Having dads as role models on TV is long since gone. 

Aside from comedy, the lifetime channel every single movie on there is about how an evil man victimized a woman.

None are role models so your question is a false start to begin with


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## imperfectworld (Jan 18, 2015)

In Hollywood, men are idiots, women are smart, and children are geniuses who run circles around both.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

I don't look to television for role models and I don't empathize much with those who lament their absence. 

TV and movies are escapism, not reality. Who wants to watch me at the desk of my 9-5 job? What a magnificently boring show that would be. It might be good role modeling, but it's piss poor entertainment.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

The only couple show we watch is Modern Family.

I'm basically a younger Jay and my wife is almost exactly Gloria.

I dunno if that makes them role models or not, but we find it a funny way to laugh at each other.


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## Joey2k (Oct 3, 2014)

Cletus said:


> I don't look to television for role models and I don't empathize much with those who lament their absence.
> 
> TV and movies are escapism, not reality. Who wants to watch me at the desk of my 9-5 job? What a magnificently boring show that would be. It might be good role modeling, but it's piss poor entertainment.


Yeah, but like it or not, when millions of people see the same paradigm (b!tchy, nagging wife and inept doofus husband, for example), many can't help but think it reflects reality, or the way things are "supposed' to be, so they may try to emulate that model (consciously or not), and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

I'm always baffled that people consider television to be a reflection of reality, or what "should" be reality. I don't watch sitcoms other than Big Bang Theory. Most of the programs I watch seem to be lacking in the bumbling-dad/harpy-mom, dynamic that so many people seem so fretful about. If that dynamic is common in sitcoms, and people find it disturbing or distasteful, why not just stop watching those programs? There's plenty of other stuff on tv. I would think if enough people objected to the portrayals and stopped watching, those programs would eventually disappear in favor of other material.


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## Nynaeve (Jun 19, 2013)

I notice whenever this complaint comes up the complainant only ever mentions sit coms. 

Are we assuming no one watches drama? The last time I checked most cop, lawyer, doctor, private detective and super hero dramas on TV have plenty of non-bumbling, smart, kick-butt male leads.

Sit com characters are intended to be caricatures. Neither the men or the women in them are supposed to be representative of actual people. For every bumbling husband there's a nagging wife. These characters are made to be laughed at, not emulated.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

My favorite show is Ru Paul's Drag Race so....


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Based on the shows I watch, it is only a matter of time before my super powers reveal themselves! For now i wait patiently ...


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

The role models that matter are the parents. What are your kids learning from you and your behavior?

Watching sitcoms and seeing characters as role models is silly. Watching dramas for role models is also silly. Ditto sports heroes. 

If your kids are taking their cues from television, it's time to turn the tv off or to TALK to your kids while they're watching tv and remind them it's entertainment not life lessons. Then introduce them to your neighbor who volunteers at a soup kitchen, fosters a child and goes grocery shopping for the old lady across the street who isn't able to get around very well.


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

I agree with what someone above said about comedy - the characters have to be over the top at times or there is no comedy. That said, if the character is unbelievably stupid, I can't watch. A good example of that would be Doug in "King of Queens". Developmentally he seems to be twelve years old. He makes me cringe. 

Phil in "Modern Family" gets on my nerves, though not as much as Doug.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

I've been able to appreciate (and associate with) characters from British dramas a lot more.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

This guy seems like a good role model.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Joey2k said:


> Yeah, but like it or not, when millions of people see the same paradigm (b!tchy, nagging wife and inept doofus husband, for example), many can't help but think it reflects reality, or the way things are "supposed' to be, so they may try to emulate that model (consciously or not), and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.


Sick to damned death of this supposed argument. Grown ups are grown ups. And need to act like them. Like applying judgement to the **** that they watch on the box. Pooor me, I am getting "messages" from the ether. Puh.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

marduk said:


> This guy seems like a good role model.


Ouch.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I thought they did away with male role models a while ago.

I really like the out of shape, unsexy idiot married to the ultra hot, super smart and accomplished wonder woman.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

NextTimeAround said:


> My husband and I have gotten hooked on the James Gaffigan Show.
> 
> HE plays himself as a stand up comic; married and father of 5, living in a 2 Bd room apt in Manhattan. My husband which follows the message boards about TV says that's his real life as well.
> 
> ...


I personally love it because it makes me look like superman!:grin2:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

This guy?










His wives/secretaries/clients/random women seemed pretty happy.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

No no no...

This guy.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Walt Longmire.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

Male role models on TV?

Hugh Beaumont, Jack Webb, and Robert Young are long gone. 

Now, even Martin Milner (Pete Malloy-Adam12) is gone. Unless Kent McCord (Jim Reed-Adam12) is re-appears, all hope is lost.


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## JukeboxHero (Mar 3, 2015)

marduk said:


> The only couple show we watch is Modern Family.
> 
> I'm basically a younger Jay and my wife is almost exactly Gloria.
> 
> I dunno if that makes them role models or not, but we find it a funny way to laugh at each other.


So, you're wife is a sexy, Hispanic woman with a lovely accent?


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

JukeboxHero said:


> So, you're wife is a sexy, Hispanic woman with a lovely accent?


Yes.

But not hispanic.

And her accent only comes out when she is very angry.


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## naiveonedave (Jan 9, 2014)

NobodySpecial said:


> Sick to damned death of this supposed argument. Grown ups are grown ups. And need to act like them. Like applying judgement to the **** that they watch on the box. Pooor me, I am getting "messages" from the ether. Puh.


Do you think violence on TV is a bad thing for young people? Or drug use? Those are common things that young people are supposed to 'learn' from TV as well. I don't know that I agree or disagree with the learned behavior thing, but if kids really learn from this for drugs/violence, then they are also learning that men are a bunch of pansies.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

naiveonedave said:


> Do you think violence on TV is a bad thing for young people? Or drug use? Those are common things that young people are supposed to 'learn' from TV as well. I don't know that I agree or disagree with the learned behavior thing, but if kids really learn from this for drugs/violence, then they are also learning that men are a bunch of pansies.


I am their parent. Not the tv. The "messages" that they get from tv come through me. Or are not seen at my discretion. "The media" is a bunch of companies that want to make money. As such they sell what people buy. If we stopped buying ****, they would stop trying to sell it.

We actually don't have tv. My kids don't see ads which I think are way more insidious than violence.


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## naiveonedave (Jan 9, 2014)

NobodySpecial said:


> I am their parent. Not the tv. The "messages" that they get from tv come through me. Or are not seen at my discretion. "The media" is a bunch of companies that want to make money. As such they sell what people buy. If we stopped buying ****, they would stop trying to sell it.
> 
> We actually don't have tv. My kids don't see ads which I think are way more insidious than violence.


good for you, but you totally dodged the question.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

naiveonedave said:


> good for you, but you totally dodged the question.


Not sure how. I answered that I don't think violence is "damaging". What else are you trying to learn?


Ooops no I didn't, really. My bad. So no I don't think violence is damaging.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

This really becomes a problem only if you are letting your kids education on culture come form tv. I see tv mostly as fantasy. Even reality tv is scripted and edited to make you see what the producers want you to see. Now do sitcoms paint a flattering picture of dads these days? No, not really but they also have bimbos and airheads as wives in other shows. I don't think that any of it represents the common American household.

How you are raised and what you see in your own house I think greatly determines how you will want your own household to run.


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## naiveonedave (Jan 9, 2014)

Wolf1974 said:


> This really becomes a problem only if you are letting your kids education on culture come form tv. I see tv mostly as fantasy. Even reality tv is scripted and edited to make you see what the producers want you to see. Now do sitcoms paint a flattering picture of dads these days? No, not really but they also have bimbos and airheads as wives in other shows. I don't think that any of it represents the common American household.
> 
> How you are raised and what you see in your own house I think greatly determines how you will want your own household to run.


Herein lies the problem, at least a potential problem. I don't think kids and teenagers really can separate TV as being fantasy. I think if this is bad (jury is still out to me), then you really need to have a healthy household to overcome the bs...


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

naiveonedave said:


> Herein lies the problem, at least a potential problem. I don't think kids and teenagers really can separate TV as being fantasy. I think if this is bad (jury is still out to me), then you really need to have a healthy household to overcome the bs...


If this was true, I'd be beaming up from Tau Ceti VI right now.


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

I always cringe when I watch those movies with witty/*****y wife and slightly idiotic husband. Luckily for me I do not watch those shows anymore. And when you go for good dramas, the characters are much better developed and non one-dimensional. 

But if you look at this from sociological point of view, it is easy to explain. When there is a scene of small wife yelling at her big husband, is the irony what makes it funny. He could kill her with one hand, instead he is all scared. That's funny, right? It's like a video of cat chasing a dog, and outsmarting a dog. 

When there is a scene of big guy yelling at his much smaller wife - it does not feel funny anymore. Why? For the same reason. he could kill her with one hand, and he just looks like he could do it anytime.

the same with women being shown smarter. It is funny, because it goes against thousands of years of telling women the opposite. if you show men smarter with more stupid wife, it feels like reinforcement of those old ideas. 

White males are in charge of the world, still. That's why we, as society, like to make fun of them. Because making fun of any other group bring back old and new injustices. 

It kind of suck for you guys. But, overall, you still have it pretty good.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

Rick from the Walking Dead kicks ass!!!!


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Part of the issue is all the reality crap on tv, which for as much as they try to claim it is "real life" it is pretty obvious it is scripted or certain aspects are enhanced for TV viewing.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

richie33 said:


> Rick from the Walking Dead kicks ass!!!!


No. Darryl. Despite the bad hair.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

NobodySpecial said:


> No. Darryl. Despite the bad hair.


I would say Rick cause as a father you would hope if someone had your child pinned down ready to do some medieval crap to him you would flip a switch and bite another mans throat apart. He has had to do a lot of things to protect his family.


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## ocotillo (Oct 17, 2011)

WandaJ said:


> But if you look at this from sociological point of view, it is easy to explain. When there is a scene of small wife yelling at her big husband, is the irony what makes it funny. He could kill her with one hand, instead he is all scared. That's funny, right? It's like a video of cat chasing a dog, and outsmarting a dog.


Love of the underdog is definitely a persistent theme in entertainment that goes back a long, long, ways. It doesn't matter if it's Jerry the mouse getting the best of Tom the cat or George McFly getting the best of Biff Tannen. 

Typically, the moral scales are balanced by portraying the physically stronger character as a bully. 

--Not so sure we're talking about the same thing when the physically weaker character steps into that role.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

The only Sit-Com I watch is Big Bang Theory....I identify with Dr. Sheldon Cooper, but get laid a lot more.....

My favorite shows are Gold Rush, Bearing Sea Gold, Naked and Afraid, Dual Survival, Live Free or Die, Alaska the Last Frontier, Doc Martin from BBC, many of the BBC mini-series, Amazing Dr. Poe, lots of things on Nature, MMA, Fast and Loud, anything historical about WW1 and WW2....I guess, even with Ronda Rowsy in MMA there are pretty strong male role models on the programming I watch...I admit, Al Bundy was a lout, but he got it over on Peg with some regularity...


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

My wife watches "The Middle" I like the dad in that show. His character is a no nonsense and a resolute guy.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

naiveonedave said:


> Do you think violence on TV is a bad thing for young people? Or drug use? Those are common things that young people are supposed to 'learn' from TV as well. I don't know that I agree or disagree with the learned behavior thing, but if kids really learn from this for drugs/violence, then they are also learning that men are a bunch of pansies.


I grew up on T.V. westerns...Someone got shot 6 times per episode...I have never shot anyone....My first learning about pot was on a very early (black and white) Dragnet episode, where they treated weed like it was heroin....I eventually smoked a LOT of weed....My folks were essentially tea totalers...


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

I think Ray Donovan makes an excellent male role model.


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

Yesterday we were watching some television and a Johnsonville commercial came on. The commercial opens with an older couple at the breakfast table having breakfast when their "adult" son comes walking downstairs in pajamas asking to be fed. He then bounds upstairs proudly declaring that he will take his meal in his room (I guess a message to his mother as to where she can serve her son his meal).

After I picked my jaw off the ground, I turned to my wife and I simply said "Did I see what I just saw?"...To which she simply nodded.

SMH


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