# My wife hates me and is very mean.



## wifehatesme (Aug 28, 2015)

We have been married one week. From morning to night, she calls me horrible names (loser, Satan, evil, deserving of hell, etc.), she emotionally and psychologically abuses me, and she hits me (causing wounds and scars). She hates everything I do, and tells me constantly that she hates me. If I do one little thing wrong, like clean a dish by wiping in the wrong direction, she goes ballistic. I am considering suicide.


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## meson (May 19, 2011)

Get the marriage annulled and see a counselor as soon as you can.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Why'd you marry her last week?


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

Why should you have to commit suicide? Get away from her immediately!


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Why do you think suicide is your only way out? It is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Can you think of other options to not be abused that don't involve your death or her death"


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Leave now go to a friends or family members house.
Do not feel ashamed this is not normal.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Grow up, put on your big boy pants and leave her, do not look back...she is not dying over.


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## Luxey (Jun 5, 2015)

Please get out of this marriage ASAP and into therapy! Suicide isn't the answer, she isn't worth it. Get out, get help, and find a woman who isn't a monster.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Call this number, 1 (800) 273-8255 now!!! Click this Lifeline

Call your family!!!


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

meson said:


> Get the marriage annulled and see a counselor as soon as you can.


Agreed.


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## wifehatesme (Aug 28, 2015)

Thank you all. The thing, though, is that I love her. She was not always this bad. And the thought of being alone, and so sad and grieving, is too much to bear. Also, I am 41 years old. I am too old to ever meet anyone again.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

So let me understand this...your unhappy, your miserable, once upon a time she was nice (so was lizzie borden) and you think your too old to meet someone else....for a 41 year man your very immature, so you would rather be treated like crap than to spend the rest of your life alone....i would take being alone any day to that.


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## meson (May 19, 2011)

wifehatesme said:


> Thank you all. The thing, though, is that I love her. She was not always this bad. And the thought of being alone, and so sad and grieving, is too much to bear. Also, I am 41 years old. I am too old to ever meet anyone again.


If she is like this now it will likely become only worse. The pain will go away with time and you will meet others. There are lots of other women who are much better than her. Don't cling to the past face the future and get help from a counselor.


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

Did you do something to cause it ?


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## wifehatesme (Aug 28, 2015)

It is so hard though. My life has been marked with loss after loss of people I loved. Having to go through the grieving process for all of them, has almost destroyed me as a human. I feel like one more loss would just kill me. I have seen therapists, and that helps, but the fear of having to grieve all over again terrifies me like nothing in the world.


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## wifehatesme (Aug 28, 2015)

tripad said:


> Did you do something to cause it ?


According to her, it is because I do not clean well enough, and I spend too much money. I do clean every day, although I am sort of messy (like many men). Also, she keeps all the money, and allows me a daily stipend of $5.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
41 is not old. Really. 
You may need to learn how to meet people, but you can. There is no reason to be married to someone who doesn't like you - that isn't doing anyone any good. 

Then tell us about yourself and we can try to suggest how to meet women who will actually care about you.


You have all of eternity to be dead. Make use of the life you have while you have it.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

wifehatesme said:


> It is so hard though. My life has been marked with loss after loss of people I loved. Having to go through the grieving process for all of them, has almost destroyed me as a human. I feel like one more loss would just kill me. I have seen therapists, and that helps, but the fear of having to grieve all over again terrifies me like nothing in the world.


More than spending the rest of what will be a miserable life as your wife's punching bag?

Okey doke, sounds like you've made your choice. I wouldn't expect much support here for that choice, though.

41? Do you realize there's a fair chance that most of us are older than you? It's NEVER too late for a fresh start in life.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

There is one thing I know for a fact.....it will get worse....being a former wife beater I can tell you the name calling and throwing shyt is just the beginning. Now she is leaving scars on you, it is just a matter of time she puts you in the hospital.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

If I was you I would go out and get a VAR (voice activated recorder) you may want to keep it on you and record this abuse.

You may need the information it gathers in the future.


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

wifehatesme said:


> tripad said:
> 
> 
> > Did you do something to cause it ?
> ...



I mean did you cheat in whatever forms n she is trying to reconcile n in anger phrase . 

That's what my ex did n said about me .


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

The thing about this loss is, you ARENT losing your marriage. You are losing what you thought she was. It never truly existed. You will mourn, yes, but what you will gain in the long run is well worth it. 41 is not old at all. I had to start over with 4 kids in tow at near that age and I'm doing ok. You will be fine.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

If you love her you can help her, but it will take the tough love she needs and with that tough love will come consequences like calling the police, leaving her until she gets help, and showing other that care and love her the abuse you gather from the VAR.

If you love her you will expose this abuse...... bad behavior will continue with out consequences!


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## wifehatesme (Aug 28, 2015)

tripad said:


> I mean did you cheat in whatever forms n she is trying to reconcile n in anger phrase .
> 
> That's what my ex did n said about me .



No, I have never cheated.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

wifehatesme said:


> According to her, it is because I do not clean well enough, and I spend too much money. I do clean every day, although I am sort of messy (like many men). Also, she keeps all the money, and allows me a daily stipend of $5.


 Your fault. You let someone treat you in that manner and keep coming back for more...................your fault. 

She gives you 5 bucks a day. What does she do, pin it to your sleeve so you don't lose it?................your fault. 

You let her treat you like you have no self worth, no feelings, no dignity?....................your fault.

Piece of advice. Grow up and act like a man. Take your life back. Regain control of your life and your own finances before you have none. Your the only one that can do anything about it so check your pants and see if you still have your balls, stop acting like a child and get on with your life...........without her.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Do you spend a lot of time together, or does she go out with her girl friends and spend the night? Does she come home for work late?
Does this abuse happen everytime you guy are together?


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## wifehatesme (Aug 28, 2015)

the guy said:


> Do you spend a lot of time together, or does she go out with her girl friends and spend the night? Does she come home for work late?
> Does this abuse happen everytime you guy are together?


We spend most free time together. She does not do those things. And the abuse happens, I would say, 70% of the time.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

What do you love about her?

41 is not too old to start over. I'm 42 and starting over and it doesn't worry me at all.


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## wifehatesme (Aug 28, 2015)

I think that, when we have good times, they are really good. That is what I love.


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## I Don't Know (Oct 8, 2013)

wifehatesme said:


> I think that, when we have good times, they are really good. That is what I love.


They always are. And that's what you're addicted to. That rush of feelings that come every time she says she's sorry. The abuse makes the "good times" seem better than they really are. If you could step away you'd probably see that your "good" times are about the same as the "average" times in a really good marriage.


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

Very true

Maybe even lesser than an ave marriage 

Intelligence of hind sight . N wasted years


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## Finding (Jul 8, 2015)

If you do not leave now, eventually, maybe in a few years, you will realize that you didn't even know what misery was. Yet, you will find it even harder to leave, due to the further entangling of your lives.

You say one more "grieving" will kill you? Good. The current "you" needs to be killed (not a physical sense). Only then can you be reborn.

Leave now, and life begins anew.

Good luck.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

Do you have any other people in your life who care about you? Anyone you can go talk to, other than your wife?


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## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

Get out now before it's too late! Even if you have to _live under a bridge_!


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

What on earth is there to love about a spouse (or anyone) who calls you those awful names? That is NOT normal!! 

You get a $5 "stipend"? Wtf? Are you serious?

1. Get out of that house
2. Get an annulment

The end.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

You are like Artax in the Swamp of Sadness (The NeverEnding Story). No matter how much everyone tries to pull you out, you are the only one who can actually do it.


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

Go outside, take a walk, breathe a little. Talk to yourself, calm yourself down and clear your mind.

You don't have to stand there while she reams on you, just walk away.

If it gets worse, don't come home for a night. Don't contact her, don't tell her when or IF you are coming back.

Maybe someday, you will decide, "its not worth going back home."


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

You know 

My ex abuses me financially n physically 

When i finally retaliated , he went around telling everyone i abused him financially n physically instead . 

He even trapped me with an "offer" to let me hit him back for all the years he hit me AND HE VIDEOD ME . Thank god my lawyer threatened to call on children n church counsellors as witness . 

So i would take this with a pinch of salt here . 

In mean time , he doesnt feed kids and his debts are mounting as i am not paying his debts anymore . 

So i am doubtful here . Sorry . Just me .


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

wifehatesme said:


> According to her, it is because I do not clean well enough, and I spend too much money. I do clean every day, although I am sort of messy (like many men). Also, she keeps all the money, and allows me a daily stipend of $5.


Is your wife @doobie?


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Just coming back from a wedding I attended for a friend and coworker. He's late fifties if not 60. Both he and his bride looked very happy. Starting over can be done. I just witnessed it last night.


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## doobie (Apr 15, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> Is your wife @doobie?


:grin2: - that made me laugh - I am about the least mean person you could ever hope to meet. Even now with my H giving me a hard time over leaving him, I still won't stoop to saying anything to him that would hurt his feelings - he's hurting badly enough already.

OP - 41 is a spring chicken. I got married nearly 3 years ago at the age of 55. It's been a nightmare of a marriage so I'm walking out the door. We've moved overseas, so I'm starting a new life (without my H) in a foreign land and I have every confidence that I will succeed. Far from being scared that I'm too old to find love again, I'm looking forward to a much happier future. After the move, I will have very little money to spare, I have no savings, we have no assets to divide. Most of the stuff I shipped abroad was mine before I met my H but I'm going through everything and packing at the moment and I'm making sure that I'm leaving him enough household items that he won't be going without in any way. All of the kitchen equipment, bedding and towels are mine (that I brought into the marriage) but I'm dividing them fairly so that he doesn't have to go out and buy new stuff. I'm even leaving some stuff that I struggled to afford when I first bought it and really don't have much chance of being able to afford again. Get out now before you get even older.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Xenote said:


> So let me understand this...your unhappy, your miserable, once upon a time she was nice (so was lizzie borden) and you think your too old to meet someone else....for a 41 year man your very immature, so you would rather be treated like crap than to spend the rest of your life alone....i would take being alone any day to that.



The dating pool is not quite as good in the afterlife 

Seriously, that's not an answer. The answer is to show her in plain sight that you're sticking up for número uno, ie you.


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## IDsrvBetr (Jul 29, 2015)

Did he say ONE week? Seems odd. WifeHatesMe can you give a little more history here? I just don't see how someone can pack that much drama and distress into 7 whole days.

I'm in the "grow a set and get the hell out" camp too.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Move on. My mother wishes she aborted me and tells me this. Move on.


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## JukeboxHero (Mar 3, 2015)

There is definitely something weird going on here. I mean, she calls him "Satan" ?? Who does that?

This really seems strange after one week. What was she like before? How long did you date her? 

Regardless, I agree with everyone else. If what you're saying is true, if she really calls you these things and she's hateful and abusive like you say, the answer is pretty clear cut.

GTFO NOW! File for divorce or annulment

or

Live the rest of your life being miserable.

Honestly, I think you would be better off alone than with someone who treats like that.


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

JukeboxHero said:


> There is definitely something weird going on here. I mean, she calls him "Satan" ?? Who does that?
> 
> This really seems strange after one week. .


That's what i said in earlier post .

Seems strange . Having been through my ex , i can pick up on this better now . 

My ex makes me sound like i am totally off just like this case , to many people and even in divorce court papers .

During my desperate attempt to save marriage , finally , i confided in my ex's buddy asking for help and that's when the buddy realized he had been fed untruth about me and when confronted and exposed , my ex admitted he financially and physically abused me plus grope a woman plus ....... many other things ......and thus my anger and my fighting back towards the end .

Even then it was never to the extent my ex claimed to be and many details were false .


On this end he abused me . On another end he claims i am insane and abused him and kids . Another end he told counsellor to save my pathetic soul from hell and i was wrong and didnt support him financially to be a missionary ! 

Thank god my counsellor sense right and told me if what i said is true my ex has PD , possibly multi PD at the worst .


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