# Fantasy sports addiction



## LovingHearts

I know this isn't as serious as alcohol, drugs, gambling, or pornography. But my husband's addiction to fantasy sports is ridiculous. It started with fantasy football and has progressed to all other major sports. It takes up no less than 3 hours per day on the computer during the day, when he is watching the kids (he stays home right now). Then at night, he watches games he wouldn't ordinarily watch and is constantly checking his teams/lineups, etc. It seriously takes up 1/3 of his day.

There are two major hot button points:

1) It takes time away from our kids and
2) He does some of it during dinner time, depending on how much he's gotten done during the day and when the rosters are posted. I don't like the lesson this is teaching our daughter at all. It's like saying, "It's okay to play on the computer during dinner and not be thankful for the food we have."

He states he does not know how many teams he has, but "it's in the teens." I asked if he thinks about it all the time and he said, "Yes, what else do I have to look forward to?"

Our marriage is a mess for many reasons. But this just makes it harder to solve anything. And it makes me very angry. I'm working hard and he's doing this. He could be giving the kids a bath, but he's doing this. He could be reading books to improve our marriage, but he's doing this. He could be learning to cook, but he's doing this. For what?

I know people have hobbies, but I feel like this is way past a hobby. He's obsessed. But I can't get him to see this. Not sure how to make him see that it's hurting our family.


----------



## Jamison

LovingHearts said:


> I
> 
> 
> 
> Our marriage is a mess for many reasons.


Maybe its time for a ultimatum? Of course only if you are willing to follow through with what you say you're gonna do if he doesn't hold up his end of the deal. 

My suggestion is, tell him you feel the marriage has enough issues that you all need MC. If he refuses or scoffs at your request, pack your bag or his, and separate. Life is to short for someone to try to communicate their needs and wants to their spouse, and it just falls on deaf ears. I think to many people have their priorities out of order these days.


----------



## CallaLily

Time for a choice. He needs to pick and choose. He if chooses you and the marriage, he will need to really prove he is on board with helping to save it. Either way, his actions will show which is would rather have. Right now it seems he is choosing his sports etc. Give him a choice, or tell him you will choose for him.


----------



## darkrat

He has replaced you with fantasy sports. The issue is not fantasy sports, there is something deeper that needs to be fixed.

"Yes, what else do I have to look forward to?" is a huge indicator to you that there is a lot more wrong. You said your marriage was a mess, and yes, you are correct. Correct the marriage, and the fantasy issues will go away.


----------



## Cee Paul

I play in a fantasy football league every single year for the past 10 years, and ours is $120 to play and a cash payout of $1,200 to the winner in the end. It is one of my only guilty pleasures because I do not follow baseball or basketball and watch a medium amount of hockey, so my wife doesn't really care and especially if I win(which I did 3 years ago).


----------



## LovingHearts

darkrat said:


> He has replaced you with fantasy sports. The issue is not fantasy sports, there is something deeper that needs to be fixed.
> 
> "Yes, what else do I have to look forward to?" is a huge indicator to you that there is a lot more wrong. You said your marriage was a mess, and yes, you are correct. Correct the marriage, and the fantasy issues will go away.


Yes, I agree with you actually.

However, there are many issues other than fantasy sports. But if he's serious about his family. he needs to decrease that. I just cannot be intimate with him. I feel like he's hurt me so much and I'm sure he feels like I've hurt him (by not being intimate). He takes no responsibility for his life. There is so much more to the story. And the truth is, I'm truly exhausted by it. I just cannot trust a man and respect a man who loses his job and doesn't support his family and blames it on his wife/kid. Then when he needs to get a job, refuses to. Talking to him just angers me because he laughs at me and tells me I'm crazy. It's his avoidance tactic. I swear, sometimes I'm just livid and have to deep breathe so I don't blow up. I feel relief when it's just me and the kids...I don't have constant criticism going on from him.


----------



## tmbirdy

LovingHearts said:


> Yes, I agree with you actually.
> 
> However, there are many issues other than fantasy sports. But if he's serious about his family. he needs to decrease that. I just cannot be intimate with him. I feel like he's hurt me so much and I'm sure he feels like I've hurt him (by not being intimate). He takes no responsibility for his life. There is so much more to the story. And the truth is, I'm truly exhausted by it. I just cannot trust a man and respect a man who loses his job and doesn't support his family and blames it on his wife/kid. Then when he needs to get a job, refuses to. Talking to him just angers me because he laughs at me and tells me I'm crazy. It's his avoidance tactic. I swear, sometimes I'm just livid and have to deep breathe so I don't blow up. I feel relief when it's just me and the kids...I don't have constant criticism going on from him.


Wow, you are in a tough spot. I totally feel for you as my husband has issues with the internet or some kind of electronic media device i.e. his phone playing Angry Birds. If we watch a movie, he usually has his phone right there playing a game. However, he does work and is very solid that way. He's a good husband, but it annoys me when he spends so much of the day on the computer. He is in three different fantasy football leagues and is constantly on ebay looking at muscle cars and buying stuff for his beat up muscle cars. I do think it is an addiction for sure.


----------

