# Anything else to do at this point?



## Set me FREE (Sep 5, 2011)

My mother thinks I should be knocking at stbxh's door and demanding cash or wiping out his business account by forging his name....all of which are not worth the end result. She thinks I am proving to the court that I don't want support from him by not acting like a stark raving mad lunatic on an hourly basis.

I have a lawyer through legal aid, she is currently reviewing my documents before filing for temporary support orders. I have applied for food stamps, medicaid and been approved for those, I keep getting denied for temporary cash assistance cause I can't spend everyday in an unemployment office looking for work). I am in therapy to deal with the abuse(emotional, mental, sexual and financial) that took place in our marriage, at this point no formal charges have been filed.(For the record my mother also thinks going to therapy is going to hurt me in court...and is a major sign of weakness.)

He forced myself and the kids out of the marital home in mid October by withholding support(I've been a SAHM mom for 9 years..cannot find a job, been looking for a year applying for everything and anything even before the split), he took my vehicle (titled in his name)and the car seat for the youngest away after I moved in with my mom in a rural area with no public transportation options, he claims he wants more than 50% physical custody of the kids yet makes no attempts to call them or see them more than 1-2 days per week. I feel that all of these actions will reflect badly upon him when we finally do go to court and I continue to let him dig his hole deeper while I wait ..cause honestly if I ask for anything I am ignored anyway....I needed a ride to a doctor's appt. and he didn't even acknowledge it, when I ask for money all I get are excuses or if I am lucky... maybe $25 if he has cash in his pocket...he hasn't given me anything since mid-October($100). He is letting his business fail(no advertising, crummy customer service, blowing off booked work) so he went from making 10-20k a month just enough to make bike and insurance payments...he has gone from making 250k a year(2008,2009, 2010) to sitting around doing nothing..and encouraging me to look into public housing for myself and the kids...and saying wonderful gems like.."I don't understand why they make it so hard to get help when you need it." This is obviously him continuing the abuse and I feel the best thing to do is let he court do it's job because if I make a scene or beg for money ..he gets the kind of control that he craves and it will encourage other types of abuse..I am enjoying the peace and distance right now.


Please tell me that my mom is wrong....I shouldn't have to tell him that the kids need to be supported beyond food stamps and my mother's willingness to let us stay here until I get on my feet. He has a lawyer in an attempt to get ahead of the state's case against him..yet still hasn't made an attempt to set up support....you would think his lawyer would be up his butt unless he's lying to his lawyer..ughhh.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Have you talked to any other attorneys? Most will do a free consult. Just wondering if someone more aggressive would be willing to help you out - knowing that he would likely have to pay their fees as part of the settlement.

Have you asked him for money? You don't need to make a "scene" or beg - but maybe you could send him a business-like e-mail detailing the expenses you need help with. Then - if he doesn't help - you've got something tangible showing that you asked for help and he refused - even though it was for the benefit of his children.

Have you asked your attorney if there's anything he/she would recommend?

Sounds like quite a mess - but it sounds like you're doing the right things the right way to me.


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