# fiance not interested in sex...



## hisgrl4ever (Jan 5, 2010)

well.. i have known my love for 16 years now.. we have been on and off for a long time. He was my high school sweetheart. This is the 5th time we have begun a relationship. I have been the one for all the problems in the past. But this time I have been as good as I possibly can. Now... usually it has been me in the past that has had issues with sex. He actually has helped me to get over a lot of my issues. For 16 years though the problem has never been him not wanting sex. But now it seems he's not even interested in looking at me. He bought me a vibrator at Christmas and has not seemed interested in me. I have asked him if he still was in love with me and he said yes. But I go to kiss him and the 'passion' that has been in his lips for 16 years is not even there.. 

I am confused and saddened. He is the love of my life and I know he loves me and he is not cheating on me, but how does a man go from a sexual animal to almost no passion??? Is there some insight anyone has? Is there something I can do???:scratchhead: 

Please help...


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

He is either depressed, fed up with you, or his hormones are doing a nose dive.


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## hisgrl4ever (Jan 5, 2010)

depressed maybe.. he started on Chantix just a few weeks ago.. would that have any effect? "Fed Up".. there is always the possibility of course.. but he has usually told me when he's to that point.. and his sex drive has been still there... hormones... ummm... isnt it usually the female that has those problems????


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## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

He's trying to quit smoking? Are you giving him lots of praise and support for his endeavor?

My husband took Chantrix and he was upset that I didn't basically suck his d!ck every night because it was so hard. He literally said that.

His sex drive didn't decrease, but he wanted more appreciation during that time.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

Some people report loss of libido with Chantix. It's easy to stop smoking without drugs. I posted a thread about it: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/relationships-addiction/10337-giving-up-dope.html#post116630


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## LuckyCharmH (Jan 4, 2010)

hisgrl4ever said:


> depressed maybe.. he started on Chantix just a few weeks ago.. would that have any effect? "Fed Up".. there is always the possibility of course.. but he has usually told me when he's to that point.. and his sex drive has been still there... hormones... ummm... isnt it usually the female that has those problems????


No wonder
I'm on that situation. SSRI or Antidepression med will reduce sex drive by huge amount sometimes make it Zero. 
and the side affects will be feeling sometimes like zombie. 

plus depression could cause that as well without any medication. normally it take more than a month for medication to work.


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## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

themrs said:


> He's trying to quit smoking? Are you giving him lots of praise and support for his endeavor?
> 
> My husband took Chantrix and he was upset that I didn't basically suck his d!ck every night because it was so hard. He literally said that.
> 
> His sex drive didn't decrease, but he wanted more appreciation during that time.


Ha Ha, I meant quitting smoking was so hard! LOL!


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## hisgrl4ever (Jan 5, 2010)

Thanks you guys for all your input.. I think I have figured there are just too many underlying issues.  Apparently I think the "fed up" response is probably the closest and I am just lost on what to do anymore. :slap:

thanks


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## artieb (Nov 11, 2009)

Whatever you do, don't marry him until you get this worked out.


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## hisgrl4ever (Jan 5, 2010)

If I can get me fixed .. this will all be okay... i go see a psychologist tomorrow. As far as marrying him, I should have married him 16 years ago and this would all be fine. 
He is the ONLY man I have ever truly been in love with and will ever be in love with


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## 63Vino (Dec 23, 2009)

themrs said:


> Ha Ha, I meant quitting smoking was so hard! LOL!


Thanks for clearing that up! I was halfway to the store to get some chantrix!!


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