# I feel my husband chooses weed over me



## nicole23

my husband and i have been married for 5 years and we've been together for 10 years. And I feel he doesnt emotionally fulfill me the way he should. To get to the point im upset because every since he got his medical marijuana card his friends have been calling the house for him to go buy medical marijauna for them. And everytime thgey call their he goes running out the whether im cooking and need his help, even if the gas is on empty he will go for them they call over 5 times a day and it's getting really annoying to me he is such a weed head he goes just so he could smoke what hurts me the most is that he doesnt seem to care how upset i get about it because everytime the call thier he goes out the door in my car. what should I do?


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## SteppingStones

Smoke a bowl and chill?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## trey69

Yes, he probably does choose his weed over you. I know that hurts to hear, however the reason for that would be is, he highly likely has a problem. "Medical weed" or not, his priorities are with his weed and his friends not his marriage.


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## Taylor

Have you sat down and talked with him about how that makes you feel it in between those phone calls?


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## RandomDude

Pot is actually very easy to quit. But he has to cut out his mates, they will keep him doing it.


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## Mrs.G

I have been a pothead for five years. I am painfully aware of how much money I wasted, how much time weed took from my engagement and new marriage and how selfish I was. I put myself in potentially dangerous situations by hanging out with drug dealers. 
I have used weed to hide from my painful past and literally burn away my trauma. I have also used it as a way to subconsciously rebel against true partnership; I was so scared of losing my identity to my husband. It was the last remnant of my crazy single days.
In the space of a year, 3 of my dealers have been arrested. I've grown weary of being around lowlifes and throwing away money. Most of all, I regret choosing pot over my husband. It is a CHOICE, not an involuntary, uncontrollable action. The downside is that your hubs can only quit when he is ready. It has taken me three years, but I don't even like smoking anymore. I'm ready to grow up and face my trauma, instead of hiding in addiction.
I have even gotten rid of all my weed stuff; no more astrays, papers or grinders. I'm done and your husband will have to smoke his last joint when he CHOOSES to. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mstanton

nicole23 said:


> my husband and i have been married for 5 years and we've been together for 10 years. And I feel he doesnt emotionally fulfill me the way he should. To get to the point im upset because every since he got his medical marijuana card his friends have been calling the house for him to go buy medical marijauna for them. And everytime thgey call their he goes running out the whether im cooking and need his help, even if the gas is on empty he will go for them they call over 5 times a day and it's getting really annoying to me he is such a weed head he goes just so he could smoke what hurts me the most is that he doesnt seem to care how upset i get about it because everytime the call thier he goes out the door in my car. what should I do?


'He runs out [to get some] medical marijuana' 

Lol, if he leave the house that easy he shouldn't be prescribed medical marijuana.


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## CarpeDiem

Hi, I agree with Mrs. G. I know it is hard to hear but people who choose drugs over their relationships will only quit when THEY are ready to quit. There isn't any amount of fussing, talking, crying, etc that will get him to stop. Talking about the problem usually escalades into an argument in which case he will probably just run out to get his fix with his friends, making you feel worse. I went through a similar situation where my fiancee continually chose weed and his friends over me, and it almost ruined our relationship. It definitely stressed our relationship and killed the trust. I tried to talk to him about it and each time it was a denial or that it didn't really matter and I was just being dumb. Eventually he did quit. He finally realized that it wasn't helping anything to go out with his friends.

The main thing that will help you is to realize that it isn't YOUR fault. I blamed myself, thinking well I guess I'm not making him happy enough so he has to go out and get his fix with his friends. But it wasn't my fault. The more I fussed about it the more he went out and did it just to spite me. It's up to you to say when enough is enough. If he doesn't listen to you or care how you feel then maybe you need to show him that you can make yourself happy. Show him that you don't need him (which is how he treats you when he leaves the house and goes out to get high with his friends). If he still doesn't respond and doesn't care how you feel about it then it may be time to leave. I hope this helps and I wish I could tell you how to get him to listen and to stop, but he just won't until he is ready to.


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## Maria9938

Well, I'm in the exact situation except its weed+alcohol. I certainly feel like his drugs are more important than me. 

This thread was really helpful. Thank you.


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## VeryShyGirl

Seems like his smoking isn't what's bothering you the most, its the fact that going out to get it has recently consumed his life?

I'm trying to understand why he is SO into going there at the drop of a dime so many times a day. Does he just feel great that he can help his buddies out now? Is he making a little extra cash doing it (say slightly overcharging)? Is he going just so they'll smoke with him (and if so is it a social thing or is he lacking weed himself all the time?)

Can't he just take orders and go ONCE a day or every other day? Seems reasonable.

HOWEVER, you do know that what he is doing is still illegal? If busted he'd be treated just as any other black market dope dealer would be. As owner of a Medical Marijuana dispensary I know that the law says that the marijuana purchased by patients cannot be resold or transferred in any way. He could get in trouble. He should make his friends get their own cards.

One thing I can tell you is that lots of people go buck wild with dispensary shopping after they get their card... BUT the novelty does wear off for most people I can assure you.


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## sickofcryin

i feel the same way.


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## Runs like Dog

FWIW I've never met a stoner who did not blaze up as much as possible as often as possible.


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## :(housewife

nicole23 said:


> my husband and i have been married for 5 years and we've been together for 10 years. And I feel he doesnt emotionally fulfill me the way he should. To get to the point im upset because every since he got his medical marijuana card his friends have been calling the house for him to go buy medical marijauna for them. And everytime thgey call their he goes running out the whether im cooking and need his help, even if the gas is on empty he will go for them they call over 5 times a day and it's getting really annoying to me he is such a weed head he goes just so he could smoke what hurts me the most is that he doesnt seem to care how upset i get about it because everytime the call thier he goes out the door in my car. what should I do?






your hubby will pick weed over you i have been married now for 3 years have 3 kids and he tells me all the time its the weed over me, it really hurts me but i tell myself its the weeding talking and not him, but then i ask myself , have i ever had him talking to me or has it always just been the weed talking, i dont get what need off him cause he always stoned, but i do love him i know where you are coming from and it does hurt


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## Cherry

VeryShyGirl said:


> HOWEVER, you do know that what he is doing is still illegal? If busted he'd be treated just as any other black market dope dealer would be. As owner of a Medical Marijuana dispensary I know that the law says that the marijuana purchased by patients cannot be resold or transferred in any way. He could get in trouble. He should make his friends get their own cards.


I'd threaten to turn his a$$ in, because ^^^ she is right, and he apparently doesn't care enough about his family to be doing something this illegal. No dif than selling someone's prescription pills on the streets. That should put a stop to him selling dope.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby

I do not agree with pot smoking. My ex h was a huge pot smoker. He once dropped me off at the mall, so I could pick up a quick present for someone. I didn't want to disturb my baby in the back seat, so I allowed her to sit back there while he went to park the car. My daughter did not deserve the second hand smoke. 

When I was done and entered the car, I could clearly see he enjoyed a smoke with our daughter in the backseat. I've never been so pissed in my life. I ended up leaving my ex and made him have supervised visits for many years.

He no longer has anything to do with his daughter, he actually hates her. My daughter is a very good girl and never deserved to be treated in that manner.

I'd never allow illegal drug use or pot smoking. I don't judge others who do it, it's their life. I do not want it around my children and I do my best to educate and keep them away from it.

Heavy pot smokers I know are angry at the world. They drive while under the influence and their driving reaction is altered. Just like any other substance, it's toxic to the body.


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## Goldmember357

1) he is choosing a drug over you- End it!
2) he is not a good role model and clearly irresponsbile
3) Marijuana is not physically addicting
4) His dependency is because of other factor's and how his brain is functioning and his prefference to it
5) Marijuana is very easy to get quit except in rare cases of people who have other issues that affects their mental state and thus a non physically addicting drug such as marijuana is rather hard for them to quit
6) Marijuana has medical uses and can be used responsibly but the vast vast majority of people who regularly use it abuse it and do not actually need the drug.
7) Marijuana is a toxin to the body essentially 
8) Marijuana alters the body and chemical's in the brain (obviously) its a drug and thus a mind altering substance
9) The vast majority of people who try marijuana or use it a little bit will never heavily get into it and will not ever become heavy users. Keep this in mind when talking to pot head's as they chose to and differ from the vast majority of users's. Say unlike a drug like heroin or other Opiates a person can try marijuana use a little bit than never use again people on those other drug's try a little bit or even once and than are hooked.

His brain is the problem not the Marijuana its just a substance that he uses for god know's how many reasons.


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## trey69

This post is from 2011 and the OP has yet to return, maybe one day!


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## Gratitude

RandomDude said:


> Pot is actually very easy to quit.


Not always. I get tired of all the generalising. I don't want to go into yet another pot debate, but if it was easy for you, or for someone you know, that's terrific. 

Pot isn't really physically addictive like heroin. It leaves your system a lot faster like cigarettes. It can become more of a mental/emotional addiction and a coping mechanism. Like cigarettes. When the nicotine leaves your body with smokes, you can still give in and start again three months later. And it's not because of a physical urge. Pot can be like that. If you live your days, which turns into years, in a smoke fuelled haze of pot, chances are you're not going to want to return to reality. You find you've relied on it for so long to get by. If some heavy smokers run out of pot, cue anxiety or aggression. Panic. It can become such a part of their lives, like cigarettes.

Some people quit easily. Either because they have strong will, a real desire or aren't really regular smokers. Others find it harder. Much harder. Anyone who wants to quit, will. Same with cigarettes. It's about making the decision in your mind first. It's not the physical you have to fight, it's the mental.


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## Humble Pie

You husband has always been smoking, so this is not the issue, the issue is he "drops everything on a dime" to go out with friends to get some. How long has this been going on? Like someone said, it could be the novelty of having the card, its new and his friends want to experience it, as they are smokers too like your hubby.

Another question, is it loyalty to his friends, or is it he doesnt have money for it himself. That is a big factor cause if he was high already, chances are he wouldnt want to keep running around, he would want to sit your sofa!

Its your car, so you can easily tell him "not in my car" but you choose not too, why?


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