# Anxiety/Being Nervous



## ShameLessLover (Nov 5, 2013)

Here is my original story: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/consid...-my-wifes-split-personality-vs-my-family.html

In the nights, I get really nervous about life. heartbeat goes up. Feel suffocated. nightmares. start thinking about things my DD/spouse go through if I divorce. 
I get really nervous. like a leaf in a storm.

I have been very active for over a year. 1 hour a day - 5 days a week. Involves at least once a week yoga. Core exercises. I often do breathing exercises.

How can I control my nerves?


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## veganmermaid (Jun 17, 2016)

Despite what you may have gleaned from pop culture and people’s offhand comments, exercise / diet / lifestyle changes are not a sufficient stand-in for therapy or possibly even medication for true anxiety disorders. Please make an appointment with your doctor and get a referral for therapy. You don’t have to live this way.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*When you start having uncontrollable nerve problems, it's best to go see your MD or neurologist to effectively recommend a course of action and exercise to overcome these problems of yours!

It would definitely be money well spent!*


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## ShameLessLover (Nov 5, 2013)

veganmermaid said:


> Despite what you may have gleaned from pop culture and people’s offhand comments, exercise/ diet/lifestyle changes are not a sufficient stand-in for therapy or possibly even medication for true anxiety disorders. Please make an appointment with your doctor and get a referral for therapy. You don’t have to live this way.





arbitrator said:


> *When you start having uncontrollable nerve problems, it's best to go see your MD or neurologist to effectively recommend a course of action and exercise to overcome these problems of yours!
> 
> It would definitely be money well spent!*



Thank You, I have restarted my therapy.
I have my doctor's appointment in 2 weeks, I am going to ask the doctor for some anti-depressant. 

2.5 years back, I discussed this with my doctor. I was looking for something that let me do my normal work and do not affect my ability to drive around. 
He prescribed me propranolol - i took once- this is not an anti-depressant. I hear that antidepressant may mess with the mood - i cannot drive and i may get addicted. That scares me.

Does anyone here have any suggestion for the medics?


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## veganmermaid (Jun 17, 2016)

ShameLessLover said:


> Thank You, I have restarted my therapy.
> 
> I have my doctor's appointment in 2 weeks, I am going to ask the doctor for some anti-depressant.
> 
> ...




Every medication is different, and everyone has different reactions to different medications. It’s a matter of working with your doctor and trying different things. Tell him what you need from a medication and express your concerns; try what he suggests, and follow up a few weeks later, either by phone or in a visit.


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## cc48kel (Apr 5, 2017)

I know it's been awhile and hope things are OK... But you spoke about driving on medication. My spouse was prescribed zoloft and it helped a lot when he took it!! But he would take it at dinner time so it wouldn't affect him during the day.


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## I shouldnthave (Apr 11, 2018)

I am sorry you are struggling with this!

Taking medication that affects brain chemistry, I think, is a very personal decision.

Especially if the person does not have a brain chemistry disorder, but is instead dealing with a great deal of stress (haven't read your back story, but from the title it sounds stressful!).

Just about every medication includes often harmful side affects or other complications. So for me? When life gets crazy, I try to find alternatives to pills.

YES to counseling, they can help you sort through your thoughts during this troubling time, and give you some tools to affectively tackle them.

Now for other things to do, things that have helped me.

Yep, diet and exercise. Sure not a cure all, but both are absolutely scientifically proven to affect our body's chemistry and hormones, which are the very things that affect our moods. New research is now beginning to understand the role our guy flora play in brain chemistry. So be sure you are feeding your body well, and addressing intestinal health. When stressed it tends to suffer greatly.

Okay you have the yoga and exercing down. Where do you do it? A gym? A secluded 500 acre meadow?

Nature - do you get much time out in nature? Just you, the rustling leaves, the call of a hawk and a sparkling sun? If not, can you? Again studies are finding that time disconnected from technology and spent in tune with nature to be an effective stress reducer (there are some wonderful studies I can link to when not on a phone).

Sleep - YOU NEED SLEEP. If you are short on sleep, being mentally healthy will be very difficult. If you aren't sleeping well, start taking steps to rectify that (that could be a whole other thread). I don't like reaching for drugs, but I do find antihistamine (Benadryl) helpful at times (non habit forming).


Another thing that works for me - I learned it from a sports psychology coach - postive visualization. When you mind starts to go over those worst case scenarios, when you start to dwell on negative - through sports psyc I have learned how to shut down, or turn away from those destructive thought patterns. Instead of playing out the bad - rather visualize things going right. Visualize meeting a challenge and having the ability to pull out of it favorably. Ways to not indulge those negitive thoughts and rather turn to something positive.

Do you have a passion that delights you? Music, sports, arts, woodworking? If so, be sure to indulge in it.

So in short, my recipe for dealing with the stress of my rat race life?

I try to feed my body well, get exercise, I spend oh... Probably 8 hours a week, lost way out in nature, by myself, I find it incredibly restoring. I have a horse, and time out at the stable is my refuge. I sleep well (although probably not enough), and I practice various self talk etc techniques when I find myself wanting to spiral into anxious thoughts.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

This might be a slightly extreme suggestion. But does your state have legal medical marijuana. I saw a documentary that seemed to show people having great success with it for anxiety. Not so good for the times your driving around but at bed time, might work.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

ShameLessLover said:


> Thank You, I have restarted my therapy.
> I have my doctor's appointment in 2 weeks, I am going to ask the doctor for some anti-depressant.
> 
> 2.5 years back, I discussed this with my doctor. I was looking for something that let me do my normal work and do not affect my ability to drive around.
> ...


I developed PTSD after health issues with my daughter and I am on the generic form of Zoloft. It helps a lot for me. Medication is really trial and error though to find out what works best.


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## Vespil (May 21, 2018)

Avoid caffeine.


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## metaldad (May 23, 2018)

It took me 20 years to find a doctor who could correctly diagnose me. All the anxiety/insomnia/depression I've suffered over the years is actually bipolar disorder (mixed state). It was really rough trying to get the right combo of meds (the first few actually put me in a manic state), there are lots of different meds out there, and if one thing doesn't help, something else will. Finally, by adding a mood stabilizer to my ADs, I have a decent grip on my illness.

As for MJ - I can vouch for its anti-anxiety effect. Stick with indicas, though - sativas and hybrids will probably make you more anxious.


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## ButWeAreStrange (Feb 2, 2018)

Everyone is different and will react differently based on their individual needs (chemically, emotionally, psychologically, etc), so it's important to have a doctor who will listen to your concerns and work with you. I had a very hard time dealing with my primary for a while because, despite her not having any background in psychological disorders, she was regularly trying to push medications on me that were not specifically meant for my condition. So make sure you have someone you know you can trust and who will walk you through the process of finding the right match for you either through therapy and/or medication. 

I have C-PTSD and while I've never been on an anti-depressant, for a while last year my anxiety became unbearable. The only medication that worked in my case was lorazepam (Ativan). It was given to me the couple of times I ended up in the ER when I was dealing with health issues and it immediately brought on relief. But again, not everything will work for everyone and unfortunately a lot of it is trial and error. 

Caffeine usage will also up anxiety and depression so I agree with the above poster who recommended limiting that.

You said that you do yoga and breathing exercises. Does this include meditation practice and do you do these practices on your own or in a studio setting? While breathing exercises can definitely help with the mind-body connection, certain ones are actually designed to increase energy and hyper-awareness whereas others are more designed for a calming and mindful settled state. It might be good to develop a sort of bookend to your days that are designated "peaceful" times that you can allow yourself to retreat to. Even if for five minutes, sometimes that's all it takes to help train the mind to have a go-to place of ease.


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

I have a coworker who is suffering from extreme anxiety and it's been getting worse and I've been reading and trying to find helpful advice and I found this thread.

Hello you need to realize that untreated anxiety feeds on itself and rarely if ever gets better on it's own.

A few things you can do at home including over the counter herbal based remedies. EXERCISE to get the healthy endorphins flowing and to help burn out some of that energy produced by the anxiety. 

Talk it out with a trained professional. There's always a source. Whether it's something recent that's triggering it or something in your childhood you need to work through it in order to get past it.

Good luck!


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## ShameLessLover (Nov 5, 2013)

cc48kel said:


> I know it's been awhile and hope things are OK... But you spoke about driving on medication. My spouse was prescribed zoloft and it helped a lot when he took it!! But he would take it at dinner time so it wouldn't affect him during the day.


Thank you. what made your spouse anxious?


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## ShameLessLover (Nov 5, 2013)

happyhusband0005 said:


> This might be a slightly extreme suggestion. But does your state have legal medical marijuana. I saw a documentary that seemed to show people having great success with it for anxiety. Not so good for the times your driving around but at bed time, might work.


yes, I would pass this for now though :smile2:. I am by myself here (I am from another country, so when it comes to close friends/family - I am alone- no one to count on if things go wrong.


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## ShameLessLover (Nov 5, 2013)

metaldad said:


> As for MJ - I can vouch for its anti-anxiety effect. Stick with indicas, though - sativas and hybrids will probably make you more anxious.


What is MJ. Sorry, I did not follow you.


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## Steve2.0 (Dec 11, 2017)

In addition to the comments above... i wont rehash.. i can only recommend you change your training routine.

Yoga is great, but studies show that lifting heavy weights (strength training) has greatest anti-depression properties.

So reschedule your 5 'training' days into 5 'strength training' days (compound lifts) and see if you start to feel better


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## ShameLessLover (Nov 5, 2013)

I shouldnthave said:


> Okay you have the yoga and exercing down. Where do you do it? A gym? A secluded 500 acre meadow?


I work for a company which have all different classes during most part of the day. I go to 1-2 yoga classes per week in a studio setting. I try to do different things 5 days a week (includes core strength classes or Karate)



I shouldnthave said:


> Nature - do you get much time out in nature? Just you, the rustling leaves, the call of a hawk and a sparkling sun? If not, can you? Again studies are finding that time disconnected from technology and spent in tune with nature to be an effective stress reducer (there are some wonderful studies I can link to when not on a phone).


The most I do to take my DD to the park most evenings.



I shouldnthave said:


> Sleep - YOU NEED SLEEP. If you are short on sleep, being mentally healthy will be very difficult. If you aren't sleeping well, start taking steps to rectify that (that could be a whole other thread). I don't like reaching for drugs, but I do find antihistamine (Benadryl) helpful at times (non habit forming).


Most nights, I sleep well. Other nights, if I start thinking - I can go back into anxiety-like state.



I shouldnthave said:


> Another thing that works for me - I learned it from a sports psychology coach - postive visualization. When you mind starts to go over those worst case scenarios, when you start to dwell on negative - through sports psyc I have learned how to shut down, or turn away from those destructive thought patterns. Instead of playing out the bad - rather visualize things going right. Visualize meeting a challenge and having the ability to pull out of it favorably. Ways to not indulge those negitive thoughts and rather turn to something positive.


Thank You. I will work on it.



I shouldnthave said:


> Do you have a passion that delights you? Music, sports, arts, woodworking? If so, be sure to indulge in it.


Yes, I did/do. I do some when I have time (from work/doing chores). 



I shouldnthave said:


> So in short, my recipe for dealing with the stress of my rat race life? I try to feed my body well, get exercise, I spend oh... Probably 8 hours a week, lost way out in nature, by myself, I find it incredibly restoring. I have a horse, and time out at the stable is my refuge. I sleep well (although probably not enough), and I practice various self talk etc techniques when I find myself wanting to spiral into anxious thoughts.


Honestly, that’s great advice. I am on the path of doing better. Thank You.


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## ShameLessLover (Nov 5, 2013)

ButWeAreStrange said:


> You said that you do yoga and breathing exercises. Does this include meditation practice and do you do these practices on your own or in a studio setting? While breathing exercises can definitely help with the mind-body connection, certain ones are actually designed to increase energy and hyper-awareness whereas others are more designed for a calming and mindful settled state. It might be good to develop a sort of bookend to your days that are designated "peaceful" times that you can allow yourself to retreat to. Even if for five minutes, sometimes that's all it takes to help train the mind to have a go-to place of ease.


This is mostly power yoga with little focus on meditation (say 5-10 min meditation) done in Yoga setting.
Thank you for the advice regarding the peaceful times. I will practice.


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## PigglyWiggly (May 1, 2018)

metaldad said:


> It took me 20 years to find a doctor who could correctly diagnose me. All the anxiety/insomnia/depression I've suffered over the years is actually bipolar disorder (mixed state). It was really rough trying to get the right combo of meds (the first few actually put me in a manic state), there are lots of different meds out there, and if one thing doesn't help, something else will. Finally, by adding a mood stabilizer to my ADs, I have a decent grip on my illness.
> 
> As for MJ - I can vouch for its anti-anxiety effect. Stick with indicas, though - sativas and hybrids will probably make you more anxious.


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