# dating after divorce, so confused



## dadari83

hi, i am 34 yrs old, my divorce became final 2.5 years ago. I was in a loveless sex marriage for 6 years, had one child and after I decided to divorce i just grieved, and processed what had happened. I never dated after the divorce, i just focused on my career and on my son. Three weeks ago it all changed, I was invited to a dinner with some friends and they introduced me to this man..we got along at the dinner, then via texting, eventually we went on a date and on our second date he told me he wasnt looking for a girlfriend and nothing serious, just sex. Well...for me that was like hitting the jackpot! I dont want a relationship either, I know I have moved on from my divorce, but I am still not ready to handle a real relationship..so I agreed... we have had amazing intimacy, I dont have to pretend with him and he seems to be really upfront and honest. I dont know how this sexual relationship work..cause I didnt expect to receive a text from him everyday, nor to have real deep conversations, neither to cuddle after sex and he seems to do all those things... has he changed his mind? I never initiate a conversation, but if he calls me or txt me, i answer, I dont think Its nice to be ignored. 
can a relationship based only in sex, or that started off a sex, can change into something else? from the guy point of view? 
thx 

ps: this is the first sexual relationship after my husband, and before him I only had another serious relationship


----------



## Spicy

Yes, I think it can. Sometimes people just hit it off really well, and the more time they spend together, their hearts get involved and love begins to grow. 

That being said, in a clearly defined FWB situation, I would be very cautious with your own heart...cuddling after sex and texting is probably nothing more than how he operates. 

Just be careful. You are very inexperienced (as was I after my divorce, painfully so!) and can easily get hurt. Other than that, enjoy your path to future happiness for you and your son sweetheart!


----------



## SlowlyGoingCrazy

I met some of these guys while dating. They are so confusing but no, they won't become an actual relationship. They want the perks of one without having to commit. A lot of times it's that they aren't into you enough for anything long term (aka will still be looking for something else but you'll do for now) 

It's not something I can do as I always get feelings involved and always felt that "you'll do for now but I'll be keeping my options open in case something better comes along" 

These guys typically run when you confess any type of feelings. He'll act like your boyfriend but if you, after months of mixed signals, ask the big "what are we" questions you are moving too fast and it's too much pressure on the poor guy. 

They also often flirt, chase and even sleep with other women and if you don't like it, it's a "we aren't a couple, you're not allowed to be jealous"

Truly it ends up walking on eggshells to avoid scaring him and his fear of commitment while acting like a girlfriend and trying not to develop the normal feelings that come with it. 

Fwb can work for some people but I've never experienced it working.


----------



## Ynot

dadari83 said:


> hi, i am 34 yrs old, my divorce became final 2.5 years ago. I was in a loveless sex marriage for 6 years, had one child and after I decided to divorce i just grieved, and processed what had happened. I never dated after the divorce, i just focused on my career and on my son. Three weeks ago it all changed, I was invited to a dinner with some friends and they introduced me to this man..we got along at the dinner, then via texting, eventually we went on a date and on our second date he told me he wasnt looking for a girlfriend and nothing serious, just sex. Well...for me that was like hitting the jackpot! I dont want a relationship either, I know I have moved on from my divorce, but I am still not ready to handle a real relationship..so I agreed... we have had amazing intimacy, I dont have to pretend with him and he seems to be really upfront and honest. I dont know how this sexual relationship work..cause I didnt expect to receive a text from him everyday, nor to have real deep conversations, neither to cuddle after sex and he seems to do all those things... has he changed his mind? I never initiate a conversation, but if he calls me or txt me, i answer, I dont think Its nice to be ignored.
> can a relationship based only in sex, or that started off a sex, can change into something else? from the guy point of view?
> thx
> 
> ps: this is the first sexual relationship after my husband, and before him I only had another serious relationship


As a man, one thing you should recognize is that even if you and he are not looking for anything serious and it is just about sex, the fact is that there is still a relationship, even if it is only a sexual relationship. Sending you a text everyday is not that big of a deal. It is one way to keep lines of communications open in order to allow an encounter to take place. I send friends texts all the time, it isn't a big deal. Having deep conversations is another aspect that you should engage in. This is an opportunity to explore your self as you ponder topics. You get to be 100% truthful without hedging so as not to hurt the other person. Afterall, this is a sexual relationship. There is nothing wrong with talking about stuff you think about. You may discover things about your self you never knew before because you hid them under the veil of societal expectations.
Cuddling after sex is not uncommon either. You and he have just enjoyed an intense experience together, Relaxing in the after glow is perfectly normal.
If I were you, I would roll with it. If he gets to clingy or attached you can always cut it off.


----------



## chillymorn69

dadari83 said:


> hi, i am 34 yrs old, my divorce became final 2.5 years ago. I was in a loveless sex marriage for 6 years, had one child and after I decided to divorce i just grieved, and processed what had happened. I never dated after the divorce, i just focused on my career and on my son. Three weeks ago it all changed, I was invited to a dinner with some friends and they introduced me to this man..we got along at the dinner, then via texting, eventually we went on a date and on our second date he told me he wasnt looking for a girlfriend and nothing serious, just sex. Well...for me that was like hitting the jackpot! I dont want a relationship either, I know I have moved on from my divorce, but I am still not ready to handle a real relationship..so I agreed... we have had amazing intimacy, I dont have to pretend with him and he seems to be really upfront and honest. I dont know how this sexual relationship work..cause I didnt expect to receive a text from him everyday, nor to have real deep conversations, neither to cuddle after sex and he seems to do all those things... has he changed his mind? I never initiate a conversation, but if he calls me or txt me, i answer, I dont think Its nice to be ignored.
> can a relationship based only in sex, or that started off a sex, can change into something else? from the guy point of view?
> thx
> 
> ps: this is the first sexual relationship after my husband, and before him I only had another serious relationship


so you would rather have him show up pull it out stick it in then wipe off and leave.

maybe a conversation about it with him instead of a bunch of jaded asshats like myself giving you advice about someone we don't even know .

do you have feeling for this dude? if so be honest and say where is this going I think I'm starting to have feelings. if he just wants sex you will never hear from him again ....well in 3 months he will call for a booty call.


----------



## KevinZX

Relax, enjoy and learn from this experience, it will maybe be one of many if you want sex and don't want a relationship, maybe one day you will meet someone who you can love again, even if it based on a no strings sexual relationship, many relationships have been based on less, sexual compatibility is a key ingredient, something to build on, just be wary, your heart might make decisions for you, that might not be a bad thing. Best of luck.

Love and Peace always

KevinZX


----------



## MAJDEATH

Hope he's not married. But don't be surprised if he has other lady friends too.


----------



## Bananapeel

dadari83 said:


> can a relationship based only in sex, or that started off a sex, can change into something else? from the guy point of view?
> thx



Short answer is yes. I know people that it has happened to.


----------



## C3156

dadari83 said:


> can a relationship based only in sex, or that started off a sex, can change into something else? from the guy point of view?
> thx


Missed this line the first time I read your post. 

Yes, it can happen. That is how I met my current wife, through a FWB type situation. It was a long road to get where we are now, but it all started with sex (Really good sex). But it will only change and evolve if _both_ parties want to go that direction. If that is something you want, you need to have a conversation and be up front.



dadari83 said:


> ps: this is the first sexual relationship after my husband, and before him I only had another serious relationship


Be careful not to confuse the intensity of sex for an emotional connection. As mentioned previously, he may be treating you nice as long as he is enjoying the physical sex that you are giving. Once things start to get stale, you may be a forgone conclusion. 

I say that because I have a friend who rotates ladies like tires on a car (yes, he is a player). He always has multiple women on the line and just moves from one to another so long as the sex is good. Once the sex gets boring or you start talking relationship, he rotates them out and rotates in a new girl. I've seen it to many times to count.


----------



## doobie

SlowlyGoingCrazy said:


> I met some of these guys while dating. They are so confusing but no, they won't become an actual relationship. They want the perks of one without having to commit. A lot of times it's that they aren't into you enough for anything long term (aka will still be looking for something else but you'll do for now).


I had one of these relationships - my first relationship after leaving my H and I found it very confusing - loads of mixed messages. He told me he was into monogamy, needed to have a really strong emotional connection to have sex with a woman. He spent about 18 months "wooing" me which was exciting and pleasurable. I eventually slept with him and the very first thing he said afterwards was "Let's keep this a secret between us" - that's when alarm bells started ringing and I wished I'd never let it get physical. We carried on for a while - he was very caring, a considerate lover, really close friend (the whole relationship seemed to be based on a very strong, emotional friendship, which I thought meant that it really was "real"). However, after about 6 months of sleeping together (and I means sleeping, as well as sex, he wanted the company, to feel a woman next to him in bed, the emotional connection, etc.) he arrived at my house one day (I was seeing him about 5 times a week by this time, cooking together, going out to bars, etc.) to tell me he'd started an affair with a woman who was already cheating on her husband with another man. Weirdly, it was the other man that got angry about this, along with his wife who had known about the affair for several years, but went along with it "because that's what men do" and because she was given use of her H's girlfriend's car! 

Back to the guy I was seeing, as soon as he told me about the affair, he reassured me that I was the best friend he'd ever had, the most important person in his life and I haven't seen him since! That was six months ago and I'm not holding my breath here, I've moved on. However, it does make it really difficult to trust men now. Ironically I had a first date with a man last night - he seemed really nice, we met at a local restaurant, shared some food, got on really well and then he took me home. He'd been so nice, I did allow him to come in, at which point, all he wanted to to was "snog". I explained that I don't sleep with men on first dates and he said he wasn't expecting me to. I explained that I would prefer to get to know somebody a lot better and develop a friendship before getting physical and he agreed with me on that, but kept pulling me closer, kissing me, etc. He kept trying to feel my breasts and I kept pushing his hand away. Result - about 20 minutes of intense snogging which left me feeling very uncomfortable as I would have preferred to talk and get to know each other better. Also, at my age, it's difficult to fancy a man straight away, it takes time to develop that. In the end, I told him to leave which he did immediately. It's just so confusing dating when you're older. There don't seem to be any rules and me just seem to want to get into your pants, despite professing otherwise. I'd welcome some male points of view on this - why do you all seem to say that you're cool with taking things slowly and getting to know each other as friends first when what you really want is an instant shag?


----------



## Diana7

For women especially, it's very hard to have a sexual relationship without any emotional connection being formed. That's what sex does, strengthens the emotional ties in what would normally be a committed relationship. In what you have, a sex only thing, someone will almost always end up getting hurt.It's a fools game.


----------



## Ynot

Diana7 said:


> For women especially, it's very hard to have a sexual relationship without any emotional connection being formed. That's what sex does, strengthens the emotional ties in what would normally be a committed relationship. In what you have, a sex only thing, someone will almost always end up getting hurt.It's a fools game.


Please stop posting absolutes. I know many women who simply want to enjoy sex and they prefer it with no strings attached. Because they have better things going on in their lives than sitting around pining about emotional relationships. But they still need the physical release of sex. It is only a "fool's game" when one of you have deluded yourself into thinking the sex is something it is not


----------



## Diana7

Ynot said:


> Please stop posting absolutes. I know many women who simply want to enjoy sex and they prefer it with no strings attached. Because they have better things going on in their lives than sitting around pining about emotional relationships. But they still need the physical release of sex. It is only a "fool's game" when one of you have deluded yourself into thinking the sex is something it is not


That's why people get themselves into such a mess in their lives, because they delude themselves into thinking that having casual sex won't affect them in a negative way. I see it all the time.


----------



## Bananapeel

doobie said:


> I had one of these relationships - my first relationship after leaving my H and I found it very confusing - loads of mixed messages. He told me he was into monogamy, needed to have a really strong emotional connection to have sex with a woman. He spent about 18 months "wooing" me which was exciting and pleasurable. I eventually slept with him and the very first thing he said afterwards was "Let's keep this a secret between us" - that's when alarm bells started ringing and I wished I'd never let it get physical. We carried on for a while - he was very caring, a considerate lover, really close friend (the whole relationship seemed to be based on a very strong, emotional friendship, which I thought meant that it really was "real"). However, after about 6 months of sleeping together (and I means sleeping, as well as sex, he wanted the company, to feel a woman next to him in bed, the emotional connection, etc.) he arrived at my house one day (I was seeing him about 5 times a week by this time, cooking together, going out to bars, etc.) to tell me he'd started an affair with a woman who was already cheating on her husband with another man. Weirdly, it was the other man that got angry about this, along with his wife who had known about the affair for several years, but went along with it "because that's what men do" and because she was given use of her H's girlfriend's car!
> 
> Back to the guy I was seeing, as soon as he told me about the affair, he reassured me that I was the best friend he'd ever had, the most important person in his life and I haven't seen him since! That was six months ago and I'm not holding my breath here, I've moved on. However, it does make it really difficult to trust men now. Ironically I had a first date with a man last night - he seemed really nice, we met at a local restaurant, shared some food, got on really well and then he took me home. He'd been so nice, I did allow him to come in, at which point, all he wanted to to was "snog". I explained that I don't sleep with men on first dates and he said he wasn't expecting me to. I explained that I would prefer to get to know somebody a lot better and develop a friendship before getting physical and he agreed with me on that, but kept pulling me closer, kissing me, etc. He kept trying to feel my breasts and I kept pushing his hand away. Result - about 20 minutes of intense snogging which left me feeling very uncomfortable as I would have preferred to talk and get to know each other better. Also, at my age, it's difficult to fancy a man straight away, it takes time to develop that. In the end, I told him to leave which he did immediately. It's just so confusing dating when you're older. There don't seem to be any rules and me just seem to want to get into your pants, despite professing otherwise. I'd welcome some male points of view on this - *why do you all seem to say that you're cool with taking things slowly and getting to know each other as friends first when what you really want is an instant shag*?


It's not all guys that behave that way. Some guys are just not comfortable with being direct with what they want. That tactic is actually counterproductive and more typical of insecure guys. If you find a very secure man he'll be very direct and won't play those games. 



Diana7 said:


> For women especially, it's very hard to have a sexual relationship without any emotional connection being formed. That's what sex does, strengthens the emotional ties in what would normally be a committed relationship. In what you have, a sex only thing, someone will almost always end up getting hurt.It's a fools game.


B.S.


----------



## SunCMars

Ynot said:


> *Please stop posting absolutes.* I know many women who simply want to enjoy sex and they prefer it with no strings attached. Because they have better things going on in their lives than sitting around pining about emotional relationships. But they still need the physical release of sex. It is only a "fool's game" when one of you have deluded yourself into thinking the sex is something it is not


I too, am guilty of THIS.

*When one's feelings and emotions are strong...
They come out of one's mind and mouth in a flood....

And they bowl over the weaker utterings of others'*

Mea Culpa!


----------



## SunCMars

Yes, there are women who enjoy 'just sex' and nothing more.

And these women 'hold' no value to me.

"I want their body.
I need their mind."

Justly Sayin'

SCM


----------



## SunCMars

I do not want to be some women's Penis.
I want to be her lover.


----------



## Diana7

Bananapeel said:


> It's not all guys that behave that way. Some guys are just not comfortable with being direct with what they want. That tactic is actually counterproductive and more typical of insecure guys. If you find a very secure man he'll be very direct and won't play those games.
> 
> 
> 
> B.S.


Not at all,I have seen it again and again.


----------



## FeministInPink

@dadari83 It is possible that he has changed his mind, but I find that unlikely at this early stage. It sounds to me like he wants the benefits of a relationship (sex, cuddling, feeling like you're emotionally intimate with someone) without actually being emotionally intimate and without the responsibilities of a relationship.

I think the reason that you feel that you can BE so honest with one another is because there is no pressure and there are no expectations. That makes it easier, in a way. And I'm going to venture a guess that he's a decent guy and he's treating you well because that's just what he does. A decent guy isn't going to treat you like a piece of meat, he's going to treat you with respect and kindness, even if it is just sex for him and not a relationship.

If a man wants a relationship, he will make it clear that he wants a relationship. He has already made it clear that he doesn't want a relationship. Take him at his word, and don't try to analyze and read too much into his behavior, etc. Take him at his word. If he changes his mind and decides he wants a relationship, he will let you know, in no uncertain terms. Until he does this, it is still just FWB and nothing more.

It is easy to get the feels and get attached when sex is involved, because sex releases bonding hormones. You will need to remind yourself, when/if you start getting the feels, that you need to stay unattached. Easier said than done, I know. But if you can approach this with a logical, rational mind, you can enjoy this and still maintain your emotional distance; if you can do that, you may discover that there are things about him that make him unsuitable as a relationship partner, and that will help you to keep from getting attached or expecting more. The first of those things is the fact that he has told you HE DOESN'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP. That alone makes him a poor choice of relationship partner. But a good choice for FWB.

As other posters have said, a FWB arrangement can eventually become a relationship, but only if both people want it, and this is usually the exception, not the rule. When you get to the point that you DO want a relationship, you will in all likelihood have to end things with him and look elsewhere.


----------



## Bananapeel

Diana7 said:


> Not at all,I have seen it again and again.


A lot of your experiences are not what would be considered typical and tend to differ from what most other people seem to experience on here. Must be due to your environment and social circle.


----------



## Volunteer86

So how many times have you guys had sex? Has it been brought up about you and or him seeing other people. I think it can work it seems from what was mentioned that he is just a nice guy wanting sex that is why the cuddling, texts, etc. I think it depends on when you ask him seeing others. If he acts like its an issue I would be hesitant but in the mean time I would enjoy the fun. 



dadari83 said:


> hi, i am 34 yrs old, my divorce became final 2.5 years ago. I was in a loveless sex marriage for 6 years, had one child and after I decided to divorce i just grieved, and processed what had happened. I never dated after the divorce, i just focused on my career and on my son. Three weeks ago it all changed, I was invited to a dinner with some friends and they introduced me to this man..we got along at the dinner, then via texting, eventually we went on a date and on our second date he told me he wasnt looking for a girlfriend and nothing serious, just sex. Well...for me that was like hitting the jackpot! I dont want a relationship either, I know I have moved on from my divorce, but I am still not ready to handle a real relationship..so I agreed... we have had amazing intimacy, I dont have to pretend with him and he seems to be really upfront and honest. I dont know how this sexual relationship work..cause I didnt expect to receive a text from him everyday, nor to have real deep conversations, neither to cuddle after sex and he seems to do all those things... has he changed his mind? I never initiate a conversation, but if he calls me or txt me, i answer, I dont think Its nice to be ignored.
> can a relationship based only in sex, or that started off a sex, can change into something else? from the guy point of view?
> thx
> 
> ps: this is the first sexual relationship after my husband, and before him I only had another serious relationship


----------



## SunCMars

FeministInPink said:


> @dadari83 It is possible that he has changed his mind, but I find that unlikely at this early stage. It sounds to me like he wants the benefits of a relationship (sex, cuddling, feeling like you're emotionally intimate with someone) without actually being emotionally intimate and without the responsibilities of a relationship.
> 
> I think the reason that you feel that you can BE so honest with one another is because there is no pressure and there are no expectations. That makes it easier, in a way. And I'm going to venture a guess that he's a decent guy and he's treating you well because that's just what he does. A decent guy isn't going to treat you like a piece of meat, he's going to treat you with respect and kindness, even if it is just sex for him and not a relationship.
> 
> If a man wants a relationship, he will make it clear that he wants a relationship. He has already made it clear that he doesn't want a relationship. Take him at his word, and don't try to analyze and read too much into his behavior, etc. Take him at his word. If he changes his mind and decides he wants a relationship, he will let you know, in no uncertain terms. Until he does this, it is still just FWB and nothing more.
> 
> It is easy to get the feels and get attached when sex is involved, because sex releases bonding hormones. You will need to remind yourself, when/if you start getting the feels, that you need to stay unattached. Easier said than done, I know. But if you can approach this with a logical, rational mind, you can enjoy this and still maintain your emotional distance; if you can do that, you may discover that there are things about him that make him unsuitable as a relationship partner, and that will help you to keep from getting attached or expecting more. The first of those things is the fact that he has told you HE DOESN'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP. That alone makes him a poor choice of relationship partner. But a good choice for FWB.
> 
> As other posters have said, a FWB arrangement can eventually become a relationship, but only if both people want it, and this is usually the exception, not the rule. When you get to the point that you DO want a relationship, you will in all likelihood have to end things with him and look elsewhere.


FIP

I read every word you wrote. You came close, but did not cross over to the Dark Side.

Had you done so, I would suit up and go over the wall. Dragging you back to where I find you comforting.
BTW...you are on the edge.

Watch yourself. Hah!

Perceotion is reality.....or so it seems.


----------



## FeministInPink

SunCMars said:


> FIP
> 
> I read every word you wrote. You came close, but did not cross over to the Dark Side.
> 
> Had you done so, I would suit up and go over the wall. Dragging you back to where I find you comforting.
> BTW...you are on the edge.
> 
> Watch yourself. Hah!
> 
> Perceotion is reality.....or so it seems.


I am a romantic, and I want to see the best in people... But I am also logical, and a realist.

We frequently see what we want to see, rather than the reality of a situation. Human nature, I suppose.

But that perception, seeing what she wants to see, may hurt the OP in the end, if she gets too attached and invested and he ends it because he made it clear that he doesn't want a relationship and she is making it feel like one and is pushing him for one. 

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk


----------



## Diana7

Bananapeel said:


> A lot of your experiences are not what would be considered typical and tend to differ from what most other people seem to experience on here. Must be due to your environment and social circle.


I have mixed with people from a very wide social circle and my environment is just a normal one.


----------



## FeministInPink

Diana7 said:


> I have mixed with people from a very wide social circle and my environment is just a normal one.


It's normal to you. It may not be "normal" to other people.

To put in another context... a child who grows up in an abusive home, that is his "normal." But most people would say that is far from normal.

What you consider to be normal may not be as normal as you believe it to be.

Just food for thought


----------



## Diana7

FeministInPink said:


> It's normal to you. It may not be "normal" to other people.
> 
> To put in another context... a child who grows up in an abusive home, that is his "normal." But most people would say that is far from normal.
> 
> What you consider to be normal may not be as normal as you believe it to be.
> 
> Just food for thought


Its a wide range of people of all ages, social class, religion or none, different political views etc etc.


----------



## Ynot

Diana7 said:


> That's why people get themselves into such a mess in their lives, because they delude themselves into thinking that having casual sex won't affect them in a negative way. I see it all the time.


Casual sex only affects you in a negative way if you believe that sex is a spiritual or emotional act. If you "see it all the time" that is only because you only hang around with people who cling to the idea that sex come with emotional attachments (ie strings attached) but as I have said there are many men and a lot of women who understand that sex is in the end just a physical act. It is why there are hook-ups, prostitution, masturbation, sex toys, and pornography, none of which involve emotion.


----------



## Diana7

Ynot said:


> Casual sex only affects you in a negative way if you believe that sex is a spiritual or emotional act. If you "see it all the time" that is only because you only hang around with people who cling to the idea that sex come with emotional attachments (ie strings attached) but as I have said there are many men and a lot of women who understand that sex is in the end just a physical act. It is why there are hook-ups, prostitution, masturbation, sex toys, and pornography, none of which involve emotion.


I hang around with all sorts of people, who think all sort of things, but most of them know that sex is more than a merely physical act.


----------



## Ynot

Diana7 said:


> I hang around with all sorts of people, who think all sort of things, but most of them know that sex is more than a merely physical act.


Like I said "She also has a virtually unlimited number of people that she knows and uses as references for her ill formed opinion. Just ask her to source her information and it almost always consists of "I know many people who are (insert whatever subject you are talking about) and they all (insert whatever opinion she has). As I told her before she needs to get out more and see the world."


----------



## bkyln309

Ynot said:


> Casual sex only affects you in a negative way if you believe that sex is a spiritual or emotional act. If you "see it all the time" that is only because you only hang around with people who cling to the idea that sex come with emotional attachments (ie strings attached) but as I have said there are many men and a lot of women who understand that sex is in the end just a physical act. It is why there are hook-ups, prostitution, masturbation, sex toys, and pornography, none of which involve emotion.


Not true. Prostitutes are definitely affected in a negative way though the sex is a business exchange. Cant say their lives are something to aspire to. Promiscuity many times has its orgins in abuse or a skewing of what sex is and is not. The negative implications of the behavior are at best STDS. I think the act of sex in accordance with the hormones it produces spurs on the emotional side of it. Biology drives the emotion. You cannot separate the two unless you are psychopathic.


----------



## Ynot

bkyln309 said:


> Not true. Prostitutes are definitely affected in a negative way though the sex is a business exchange. Cant say their lives are something to aspire to. Promiscuity many times has its orgins in abuse or a skewing of what sex is and is not. The negative implications of the behavior are at best STDS. I think the act of sex in accordance with the hormones it produces spurs on the emotional side of it. Biology drives the emotion. You cannot separate the two unless you are psychopathic.


You are putting the cart before the horse here. No one said prostitution promotes physical sex or that SOME women who engage in it are not negatively affected. The fact remains that it wouldn't be the world's oldest profession if there was not a need for the physical release that comes with sex. Yes, some women are exploited in order to meet this need, but there are quite a few who exploit the need for personal gain and profit. Not all prostitutes are back alley drug addicted waste cases. There are quite a few women who profit greatly from it (some would even say marriage is just a legalized form of it).
And no one ever said there might not be negative implications from casual sex either. But the reality is you stand a better chance of being in a car accident than you do catching an STD. Yet I don't see anyone whining about not driving to avoid car crashes.
And again, while hormones exchanged when engaging in sexual activity sometimes do lead to emotional attachment. There are quite a few people who recognize it and therefore limit such activity in order to prevent said emotions from taking over. Every one who has a ONS does not end up before the altar.
Your last statement is absurd on the face of it.


----------



## FeministInPink

Diana7 said:


> Its a wide range of people of all ages, social class, religion or none, different political views etc etc.


OK, so that's your normal, right? But that's not EVERYBODY'S normal.

For example, where I grew up... very homogenous. Very white, very Christian, very Republican, very middle class. No diversity to speak of. And that's what everyone considered "normal." 

So their normal isn't the same as your normal.



OK, I'll stop now.


----------



## Elizabeth001

FeministInPink said:


> OK, so that's your normal, right? But that's not EVERYBODY'S normal.
> 
> 
> 
> For example, where I grew up... very homogenous. Very white, very Christian, very Republican, very middle class. No diversity to speak of. And that's what everyone considered "normal."
> 
> 
> 
> So their normal isn't the same as your normal.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> OK, I'll stop now.




Yes because that brick wall will give you a headache 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Ynot

FeministInPink said:


> OK, so that's your normal, right? But that's not EVERYBODY'S normal.
> 
> For example, where I grew up... very homogenous. Very white, very Christian, very Republican, very middle class. No diversity to speak of. And that's what everyone considered "normal."
> 
> So their normal isn't the same as your normal.
> 
> 
> 
> OK, I'll stop now.


Actually their "normal" is probably much more in alignment with her normal than with most other people.


----------



## Louise McCann

RUN! don't catch feelings. I have dated and slept with too many men. Most follow a pattern. If a man wants you, he will chase you like a dog. He will pamper you, take you out to places, or just really want to spend time with you. He's even told you he isn't looking for anything serious - believe him. A guy who is truly interested wouldn't try to sabotage his game and essentially tell you he doesn't want you as his girlfriend. 

Of course, a guy could change his mind. Is he however taking action and making an effort to woo you? Don't wait for that to happen. I suggest seeing other men and just stop having sex with him altogether. If he isn't treating you like a queen, drop him. That's my motto. Do not ever settle... guard your heart!! Trust nobody.


----------

