# My wife says she will leave me if I keep watching porn



## Quake

Why she thinks watching porn is bad? This has nothing to do with her. This is what I like to do and I do it privately.


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## caruso

Why are you asking us if we think it's bad?

We aren't the ones leaving you.


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## BetrayedDad

Interesting you choose the addiction subtopic to post this in if you think nothing is wrong with it.


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## caruso

BetrayedDad said:


> Interesting you choose the addiction subtopic to post this in if you think nothing is wrong with it.


Also he doesn't give much information at all, just 3 sentences, one of which is to point out that he "likes it" and does it "privately". This should be obvious. Isn't that what people usually do? I mean if you do it on the subway you're going to get arrested or at least kicked off the train.


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## Hope1964

Obviously your wife doesn't think the same way you do about it.

Either stop watching the porn or get a wife who doesn't mind it. Your choice.


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## caruso

Hope1964 said:


> Obviously your wife doesn't think the same way you do about it.
> 
> Either stop watching the porn or get a wife who doesn't mind it. Your choice.


There's a third option.

It allows him to watch the porn and keep the wife.


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## tropicalbeachiwish

Is this a new hobby that you've picked up or is she just now figuring it out? And, I don't really want to ask, but how much are you talking about? I guess it doesn't matter how often. If she says none or she leaves, then those are your choices. 
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## MarriedDude

Well....what kind of quantity are you talking about? I mean, i have a rita ora instagram feed that is pretty nice....

How many hours a day?
What kind of porn? Specifically...
Does she read chick porn?
Is your porn viewing detracting, in any way, from your relationship?


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## Blondilocks

Make sure you only watch male on male porn and she won't have a problem (with the porn, at least).


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## Blondilocks

MarriedDude said:


> Well....what kind of quantity are you talking about? I mean, i have a rita ora instagram feed that is pretty nice....
> 
> How many hours a day?
> What kind of porn? Specifically...
> Does she read chick porn?
> *Is your porn viewing detracting, in any way, from your relationship?*


She's threatening to leave, so, I'd say it is definitely detracting from the relationship.


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## EunuchMonk

Maybe she wants to replace the porn. Let her, OP, let her.


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## Blondilocks

caruso said:


> There's a third option.
> 
> It allows him to watch the porn and keep the wife.


Well, are you going to share?


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## caruso

Blondilocks said:


> Well, are you going to share?


Let me check with my GF first.

Oh, you mean about the topic of the thread..

He hides it from her.


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## uhtred

I think porn is OK if it doesn't interfere with a couples sex life. If you sometimes turn her down for sex and watch porn instead, or have watched recently, then there is a problem. If you are unhappy that she won't do things that are done in porn movies, then you have a problem. If porn has caused you to treat her with disrespect, then you have a problem. It time spend watching porn is keeping you from spending time with her, or doing chores / work, then you have a problem. 

Otherwise, I don't see a problem with porn use. 

That said, she does. She can leave you for any reason she wishes. 

In general is your sex life with her good? Do you turn to porn due to a lack of sex from her?


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## peacem

Why doesn't she like porn? Does it interfere with your sex life? Do you neglect her for it?

Be 100% open and honest with her about it. It is OK to be discrete and delete your history etc, but it isn't OK to deny or lie about doing it. Tell her you do it, that you will probably always do it and the more sex you have the less likely you are to turn to it. Don't promise her you will stop.

You then both have choices - you both work on having lots more sex or she finds a new husband who is not interested in porn (good luck with that). If your porn use interferes with your sex life then you will always be alone or in an unhappy relationship. That is your choice.


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## Evinrude58

Pretty simple,

Quit the porn or she leaves you. So which is it going to be? She's being pretty plain. Women usually aren't, so you should take this as a sign that she's dead serious. Most likely you don't realize that, which is why you're asking, and why you're likely to be divorced very soon.

When a woman says something like that----- you'd better believe they aren't bs'ing you.


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## NothingsOriginal

This is simply my personal experience, so take it or leave it as you wish.

I found upon reflection that I was expecting my wife do do the things and behave the way the women in porn do. When she failed to meet those expectations I started watching more porn and paid less attention to her. She was having some of her own issues at the time so it was easy. Porn is uncomplicated, doesn't have any needs that need to be met, and is ready when you are, and done when you are...

Some women realize they can't meet the expectation so are jealous of porn, especially if there is even a hint that you prefer that to intimacy with them. I believe that feeling is justified.


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## WorkingOnMe

If you're getting sex every day and still watching porn, she's right. If you're getting sex once a month, you're right....and let her leave. You'll be better off.


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## BetrayedDad

Hope1964 said:


> Either stop watching the porn or get a wife who doesn't mind it.


THIS. 

It really doesn't matter what YOU think of porn OP. For the sake of argument, it doesn't even have to be porn. It could be any activity.

If you have a spouse that has a problem with something or an activity you like AND this something is VERY important to you then.... 

DON'T MARRY them. Find someone who will "accept" your activity. Frankly, I'd never marry a woman who wouldn't let me watch porn LOL.


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## caruso




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## MrsAldi

Quake said:


> Why she thinks watching porn is bad? This has nothing to do with her. This is what I like to do and I do it privately.


Watching porn is bad if you're using it as a form of intimacy with yourself everyday rather than being intimate with your wife. 

I would consider watching everyday a problem, but once a week or more weeks then I reckon it's her problem. Insecurity on her end perhaps. Comparing one's sex life to porn is hard for some ladies, which is sad because if you can become truly intimate sexually in a marriage, porn is just a boring tool to men, real life sex is more exciting. 

But without more information from OP who knows who's in the wrong here. 



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## BetrayedDad

WorkingOnMe said:


> If you're getting sex every day and still watching porn, she's right. If you're getting sex once a month, you're right....and let her leave. You'll be better off.


This is one of the most fair and balanced comments I have read on this website as of late. Kudos to you sir.


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## caruso

WorkingOnMe said:


> If you're getting sex every day and still watching porn, she's right. If you're getting sex once a month, you're right....and let her leave. You'll be better off.
> 
> 
> BetrayedDad said:
> 
> 
> 
> This is one of the most fair and balanced comments I have read on this website as of late. Kudos to you sir.
Click to expand...

I don't agree with it. If he (and of course SHE) are having sex every day, and he still has an urge to watch porn, so what?

It's not like she's being neglected.

Some of us have a higher drive than our partner.


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## BetrayedDad

caruso said:


> I don't agree with it. If he (and of course SHE) are having sex every day, and he still has an urge to watch porn, so what?
> 
> It's not like she's being neglected. Some of us have a higher drive than our partner.


Porn is a tool (like vibrators for women) to get off with. In a HD / LD mismatch I see nothing wrong with it.

If you need porn and you are getting laid everyday, or as much as you need to, then there is an issue with attraction.

So hypothetically, if you need to have sex 7 times a day and she obliges then what do you need the porn for?


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## caruso

BetrayedDad said:


> Porn is a tool (like vibrators for women) to get off with. In a HD / LD mismatch I see nothing wrong with it.
> 
> If you need porn and you are getting laid everyday, or as much as you need to, then there is an issue with attraction.
> 
> So hypothetically, if you need to have sex 7 times a day and she obliges then what do you need the porn for?


I'm just not getting your point. If they're having sex every day then I'm not seeing attraction being a problem.

What I AM seeing is that the sex isn't satisfying his high drive, so despite the fact that the sex is good, he needs even more so he satisfies himself again.

I've read where some guys jack off multiple times a day to satisfy their craving. Who are we to judge?:


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## peacem

I think because he posted in addiction board I assumed that his use is very high and that is often associated with neglect of marital sex.

We have sex everyday - I couldn't care less about porn - it is non threatening. When he rejected me for six months and still used porn then I was jealous as ****. I hated it. 

I am assuming the OP's wife hates the porn to a point of leaving because he is not having regular sex with her or sex is lame because of it. Not the other way round.

But that is a lot of assumptions, it would be helpful if OP came back to fill in the gaps so we can help him save or not save his marriage.


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## tropicalbeachiwish

It looks like it was a hit & run poster.


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## jimrich

Quake said:


> Why she thinks watching porn is bad? This has nothing to do with her. This is what I like to do and I do it privately.


Your wife has two problems there = your infidelity and/or negligence and her own insecurities and jealousy. 
Of the two, her insecurity problem is the easiest one to fix right away with a little self esteem and self respect work. 
The hardest problem to fix will be your bad behavior. 
So long as you believe that what you are doing has little or no _negative _effects on her, there isn't much she can do other than to ask for what she wants from you or LEAVE YOU. 
He request for some loving respect is perfectly normal so you can either giver he what she deserves or go on cheating on her with porn in which case she is right to LEAVE a Cheater like you and go find someone with some HONOR and RESPECT!


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## fall222

This has everything to do with your woman. Porn can ruin relationships. If u truly love your woman you will save all of your sexual energy for her. There is no need for u to be looking at it. You are disrespecting your woman. She should leave u.


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## Saibasu

Make a decision, porn or your wife? You can't have both, so which one can you live without?


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## Hellomynameis

Maybe it has nothing to do with their sex life. Maybe she thinks porn is degrading to women and finds him disgusting for using it. Many women have a serious problem with men who think it's ok to support an industry that treats women as little more than sex slaves. Yes, there are women who produce porn willingly. There are far too many more who do it because they feel they have no choice.


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## lifeistooshort

Speaking as a moderator:

OP posted once and hasn't been back for over 2 months.

This thread is now closed.

Should he wish to come back and have a discussion he can PM a mod and the thread can be re-opened.


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