# How long do exit affairs usually last?



## Honeystly (Mar 1, 2012)

Hi everyone,
My husband left me for another woman 8 weeks ago.. I use that term loosely she's (almost)18. I'm 32 and left with a 12 week old girl, and 23 month old boy. He won't talk to me and pretends I don't exist. He still didn't admit to it, tells me they just 'chill and play music'. From what I gather this has been going on for about 10 months. My question is: how long do exit affairs last? I don't want him back as this whole thing is beyond repulsing, but I just want to know how long he will act like a complete ******* for. He obviously thinks he's in love with her, and judging by my fb, msp, twitter research she's been after him in a very dedicated manner for quite some time. She claims that her new love (doesn't name him) is 'identical to her in every way and they will be inseparable'. What is a typical lifespan of an exit affair. Will he ever apologize? Any thoughts?


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## Beowulf (Dec 7, 2011)

If you expose it will last until she gets tired of all the drama surrounding a man old enough to be her father. In other words, if you expose you can shorten the affair's life span significantly.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

don't expect him to come to his senses or apologize or give you closure, some people are just flat out asshats and will never give you this

you can however take steps to destroy his affair

have you told her parents yet, she is still a minor


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

also, if I had a 17 year old daughter I would most certainly want to know if a 30+ year old man was preying on her


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## Honeystly (Mar 1, 2012)

I tried, but the only contact I have is FB and she obviously has access to her mom's acct. and erased my msg. The legal age of consent in OZ is 16, so I have no grounds on that.... although he was her music teacher, but I don't want my kids' dad in jail. I don't know what the best thing to do is. I wish I was back in US so he could just get reamed for cheating, but no such luck. It's the age on no fault divorce here. I miss home.


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## Honeystly (Mar 1, 2012)

He's 29... gross


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Can you say "statutory rape?" That's a minimum of 3-5 in most jurisdictions, longer in some others! If you can't get him for that, then you can certainly threaten him with it in Family Court. Don't know too many Family Court judges that are going to be uber-sympathetic to his plight. Oh, well!


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

surely you can find their phone number and call them


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## Honeystly (Mar 1, 2012)

I'm in a financial blackmail situation at the moment. As I assumed I would take a year off work, I didn't renew my teaching contract... I am therefore at his mercy. I want to buy him out of the house, etc. plus I can't actually prove anything with pics of them..... She'll be 18 next month, eh. I just want to know how long this joke is going to last, that's all


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## strugglinghusband (Nov 9, 2011)

Take his ass to the cleaners for child support, bet his 18 yr GF will love being with some guy that has to shell out big bucks for support, make him as broke as possible...

He's 29 and hanging out with high schoolers, I can see the big L tattooed on his forehead from here...and yes it's a joke allright except he's the punch line...

Like A/R said let her parents know, geez if this was your daughter wouldnt you want to know...


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Can you give a reason for divorce and name the mistress as you can or could in the UK. I really enjoyed knowing that her name was an official document. If I hadn't been so cheap, I could have upped the ante and have her served at work. Could you have this, err, woman-child served in a sensitive place like at church?


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## Honeystly (Mar 1, 2012)

no fault divorce in Australia, unfortunately. And I have to be separated for a year before filing. This is so humiliating.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

First off, if you don't want him back, what difference does it make how long his relationship lasts? Start the required legal proceedings now. As an added benefit, the reality b1tch slap of support payments and legal bills might wake him up. 

Second, start exposing the affair if you want to end it. If you have her FB info, start working harder to get her parents info. How many people with her last name are there in your area?

Stop being a victim. Start getting mad, and take control of your life.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Please don't take him back. He dumps his 12 week old girl, and 23 month old boy to hang out with an underage girl? Atleast he should be there for the kids if it isn't working between you two. Expose to friends and family. Sue his ass for child support. Inform the school if he is still working there


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## strugglinghusband (Nov 9, 2011)

check this link out, will help you get the ball rolling

<em>The Parent’s Guide to Child Support</em> | Child Support Agency


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## Honeystly (Mar 1, 2012)

PBear, the reason why I want to know how long these things last, is because this hurts me so much. To see him so happy while his son wakes up crying screaming for me is simply tearing me apart. I don't want him back, but I want him to feel some remorse, and as long as his with her his just blind to any emotions besides his happiness built on his family's misery.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Honeystly said:


> PBear, the reason why I want to know how long these things last, is because this hurts me so much. To see him so happy while his son wakes up crying screaming for me is simply tearing me apart. I don't want him back, but I want him to feel some remorse, and as long as his with her his just blind to any emotions besides his happiness built on his family's misery.


I wouldn't hold your breath, and would recommend you start moving on your own healing path. His unhappiness isn't going to make you or your children feel any better. 

And honestly, if you want him to be miserable, you've got the tools in your hands to make that happen already, and you've chosen not to use them. Outing him to his family and the school board would be a fine start, but you've made a decision on that, I believe. Tracking down her parents would be another start, but you haven't done that either. 

The Karma Bus most likely will hit them. It could be next week, it could be 5 years from now. There's no way to tell, and no "average lifespan", especially when dealing with the dynamics you have going on. If I had to guess though, I'd say it will be shorter rather than longer, although that might very well change if she gets knocked up. Then they might tough it out for longer before one of them cheats on the other.

Your best bet, in any case, is to move on with your life as best you can, and ignore them. Although personally, I think one of the other very effective ways to drive a wedge between them would be a 50/50 childcare split... The two of them having to deal with kids should put a damper on a lot of their fun. But that means using the kids, which isn't fair to them.

C


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