# Explaining the "Nice Guy" concept perfectly



## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

I had in the past some discomfort with the way "Nice Guy" is sometimes portrayed here--as if it's a naughty word. Being nice isn't a bad thing--in fact we are often taught as children that being nice to someone is a "good thing--and yet I also knew what was being said was true. What bugged me was that it seemed like the one concept was not congruent with the other! How could they both be true and yet not butt heads like that? 

Well here's how. I think until I heard this song I was thinking of it like "the guy should wear the pants in the relationship" but then that seems to butt up against woman being her own person. Also although I think most/many women want a man who is his own person strongly enough to be able to lead...some women take wearing the pants as too close to being abused and likewise some men take it over the edge and become abusive. 

But it's not "who wears the pants" in the family. Women can wear pants...men can wear pants...and they can even have little power wars about it. But the real issue is this: "WHO WEARS THE SKIRT"? If you're the man and you are wearing the skirt in your relationship that will turn your woman off faster than raw liver!! More and more respect is lost the more you wear the skirt. And if you're thinking "We'll have sex if I wear the skirt" ahh...no. A man in a skirt is not something that's attractive. 


Brad Paisley - The Pants - YouTube

_36, 32, boot cut with a skoal ring
Grease stains, bleach spots and a hole in the knee
You say the man inside those Levi's don't take orders
And she'll just have to realize you'll do as you damn well please

You wear the pants, buddy good for you
I'm so impressed, yeah whoopty-doo
You need to know that ain't how it works
It's not who wears the pants, it's who wears the skirt

In the top drawer of her dresser there's some panties
Go try on that purple pair with the lacy frill
With your big old thighs I bet you can't get in 'em
And with that attitude of yours, hell I bet you never will

You wear the pants, buddy good for you
I'm so impressed, yeah whoopty-doo
You need to know that ain't how it works
It's not who wears the pants, it's who wears the skirt

A big old boy like you can probably bench 350
A little thing like her can barely lift the bar
But just wait until that woman has a headache
And she sits there with her legs crossed we'll see how strong you are

You wear the pants, buddy good for you
We're so impressed, whoopty-doo
You'll soon find out that ain't how it works
It's not who wears the pants, it's who wears the skirt
You wear the pants, she'll wear the skirt_


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## cantthinkstraight (May 6, 2012)

Whoever has the vagina, wins. It's really that simple.

I honestly think women want BOTH the bad and nice guy.

The crux is knowing when to be which for her.
It's enough to drive a normal man crazy.

Rather than going with "you should just know when"... I would argue
that the more constructive point should be for the woman
to be able to communicate to her man "this is when".

If mamma bear isn't happy, then NOBODY is happy.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

I was a doormat in my first marriage, I worshipped the very ground she walked on, let her do anything she wanted, gave her anything she wanted...but she still cheated on me.

In my second marriage, I started out strong, then evolved into a doormat over many years...but she still cheated on me.

Now I've seen the light. I'm now a former Mr Nice Guy.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

You folks are familiar with the term NDE (near death experience) right? Well just like those folks who have undergone it and no longer fear death, after surviving the devastation of my ex-wife's affair, I no longer fear being cheated on. I'm not saying that I wouldn't be hurt if it happened in my present relationship, but I wouldn't feel nearly as devastated as the first time I experienced it. Life would go on and I would continue striving to be happy man.


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