# is this a sign that it is over



## mja123 (May 3, 2011)

so I was talking to my husband last night, and was asking him why has been so distant, etc....... and basically what I got from him is that he is tired fo dealing with everything and basically everything is my fault.. I understand that I might not be the most easy person to deal with, and maybe sometimes I might react without knowing the whole situation. But I am a damn good wife, companion mother etc...... he basically said that he can't keep doing this etc.. everything he said about me was negative.... not so positive...... the funny thing is on sunday for mothers day he gave me such a nice card and wrote so many nice things, and than on tuesday he told me all this negative stuff,,,,,,, so its like what do you really feel............
when he was done, I told him if you are so unhappy, maybe we should not be together. and then he said, that he did not say he did not want to be with me that I only focus on the negative,,, but if 99 percent of what he said was negative what am i suppose to think............
he always rejects me.......... I do not know what to do. at this point. Sometimes, I feel like he wants me to end it..... should I? Or should I let him end it if he is this unhappy........
I am not sure if at this point, things could get better,,,,,,,,,, it is sad because we have a one year old son............. so sometimes, I think he stays because of him......... we are barely intimate,,,,,,,,, have not been since April and prior to that it was months........

what should I do......


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

Have you all tried MC? If not it might be a good place to start.


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## mja123 (May 3, 2011)

No we have not,, maybe that is something that we should do. Should I suggest to him or should I just make an appointment for it? if so how would I go about it?


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

mja123 said:


> No we have not,, maybe that is something that we should do. Should I suggest to him or should I just make an appointment for it? if so how would I go about it?


You could mention it to him. He might be reluctant to go, and if he chooses not to, then you could still go and at least get some kind feedback from a professional.


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## mja123 (May 3, 2011)

thank you, I'll mention it to him tonight, lets see how it goes.


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## Ser Pounce-A-Lot (Apr 7, 2011)

mja123 said:


> so I was talking to my husband last night, and was asking him why has been so distant, etc....... and basically what I got from him is that he is tired fo dealing with everything and basically everything is my fault.. I understand that I might not be the most easy person to deal with, and maybe sometimes I might react without knowing the whole situation. But I am a damn good wife, companion mother etc...... he basically said that he can't keep doing this etc.. everything he said about me was negative.... not so positive...... the funny thing is on sunday for mothers day he gave me such a nice card and wrote so many nice things, and than on tuesday he told me all this negative stuff,,,,,,, so its like what do you really feel............
> when he was done, I told him if you are so unhappy, maybe we should not be together. and then he said, that he did not say he did not want to be with me that I only focus on the negative,,, but if 99 percent of what he said was negative what am i suppose to think............
> he always rejects me.......... I do not know what to do. at this point. Sometimes, I feel like he wants me to end it..... should I? Or should I let him end it if he is this unhappy........
> I am not sure if at this point, things could get better,,,,,,,,,, it is sad because we have a one year old son............. so sometimes, I think he stays because of him......... we are barely intimate,,,,,,,,, have not been since April and prior to that it was months........
> ...


Hi Mja,

You are obviously in a combative situation at the moment. Whatever you say, he will say the opposite just out of spite, so words will be of no use in reconnecting with your spouse, in my opinion.

But that doesn't mean there is nothing you can do. You need help and I would recommend signing up for Mort Fertel's free e-mail series (Stop Divorce). It really helped my marriage and hopefully it can help yours too.

If you have any questions please let me know.


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## mja123 (May 3, 2011)

I will sign up for mort feterls, Ill let you know how it goes


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## Locard (May 26, 2011)

Be strong, don't demand to have the last word. Having a baby sure throws a wrench is things but it can get better. 

When you say he rejects you, do you mean sexually?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Start doing 180s. Suggest counselling to him.


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## AvaTara539 (Apr 10, 2011)

mja123 said:


> so I was talking to my husband last night, and was asking him why has been so distant, etc....... and basically what I got from him is that he is tired fo dealing with everything and basically everything is my fault.. I understand that I might not be the most easy person to deal with, and maybe sometimes I might react without knowing the whole situation. But I am a damn good wife, companion mother etc...... he basically said that he can't keep doing this etc.. everything he said about me was negative.... not so positive...... the funny thing is on sunday for mothers day he gave me such a nice card and wrote so many nice things, and than on tuesday he told me all this negative stuff,,,,,,, so its like what do you really feel............
> when he was done, I told him if you are so unhappy, maybe we should not be together. and then he said, that he did not say he did not want to be with me that I only focus on the negative,,, but if 99 percent of what he said was negative what am i suppose to think............
> he always rejects me.......... I do not know what to do. at this point. Sometimes, I feel like he wants me to end it..... should I? Or should I let him end it if he is this unhappy........
> I am not sure if at this point, things could get better,,,,,,,,,, it is sad because we have a one year old son............. so sometimes, I think he stays because of him......... we are barely intimate,,,,,,,,, have not been since April and prior to that it was months........
> ...


All of that is very vague and non specific. You need a marriage counselor.


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## mja123 (May 3, 2011)

yes I mean sexually


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