# he flinches when I touch him



## starving (Sep 9, 2010)

I've been with my husband since I was 17. 5 yrs ago I cheated on him, we were having problems. I turned to a friend of his to talk he took advantage of that. It only happened once. I didn't tell me husband until last Nov. he stayed with me for 5 months then left saying it was over. He lived w/a girlfriend of mine for 2 months then. left her telling me he wanted to try to work things out.Once I had finally decided he wasn't coming back. After 6 weeks he said he was done it wasn't working we were finished. After about a week I went out didn't get home til 4am when I did he had called 9 times. come to find out he had a date that night. He said it just didn't feel right. The 6 weeks I thought he was trying he really hadn't been. He moved back into the house 2 days later. He has been home ever since. It's been 9 weeks. He says he's really trying this time but he doesn't love me any more and there is no passion. We do have sex but it's just sex. He hasn't kissed me He has only given me 2 real hugs. And if I touch him he flinches. I'm scared that he will always feel this way. he doesn't trust me. All I want to do is show him how much I love him. But I can't do that if I can't touch him.


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## 4sure (Aug 8, 2010)

If he doesn't love you, and doesn't trust you then why is he there. What is he working on. Making himself love you. He either loves you or he doesn't. 
If this is going to work then the two of you have to truly forgive each other, until he is ready to do that then it won't work. Counseling would be a good start.


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## starving (Sep 9, 2010)

I have always wanted to go to counseling up until a couple of days ago he wouldn't consider it. Now he is willing to go but,we simply don't have the money, we barley have the money for him to get back & forth to work everyday. I'm hoping that I can get him to at least read some of these and that they will help. Neither one of us want to start over. But I'am the only one in love any more.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Doesn't trust you? What was he doing at your girlfriends' house for two months? Couldn't find a hotel room or a male friend to stay with? It doesn't sound like he's occupying any moral high ground. If you're good enough to have sex with, you're good enough to be treated decently, regardless of what you did or didn't do five years ago. If you aren't his lover and partner, what are you? An easy lay and a ride to work?


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