# Histrionic personality disorder & cheaters



## QuietSoul (Feb 11, 2012)

Hi all.

It's likely most of you have not heard of this disorder but I was doing some reading on it recently and thought some of the infoo may be useful here. We read about all kinds of situations in here and all kinds of cheater behaviour, and sometimes try to analyze and make sense of people.

Here are the criteria...

1. Is uncomfortable in situations in which he or she is not the center of attention
Interaction with others is often characterized by inappropriate sexually seductive or provocative behavior

2. Displays rapidly shifting and shallow expression of emotions

3. Consistently uses physical appearance to draw attentionto themself

4. Has a style of speech that is excessively impressionistic and lacking in detail

5. Shows self-dramatization, theatricality, and exaggerated expression of emotion
Is highly suggestible, i.e., easily influenced by others or circumstances

7. Considers relationships to be more intimate than they actually are

And some more info...

http://psychcentral.com/disorders/histrionic-personality-disorder-symptoms/


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## Maxo (Mar 8, 2016)

The cluster b diorders are rampant in the cheating populace.


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## Nomorebeans (Mar 31, 2015)

Sounds an awful lot like my ex's OW. And a number of OM/OW I've had the misfortune to know. The one that really resonates is number 7. One online friend who turned out to be the OW in two different cases would lament to me how she felt "so close" to the husbands she cheated with, and all about their "deep conversations." Even before my ex cheated, I'd think, "Please." I once finally had to ask her why she was so apparently drawn to married men. Without missing a beat, she said, "Because they're under-loved and under-appreciated. And that's where I come in."

Gag.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

IMO most cheaters are just ordinary people. I know many. Too many actually, including myself. No disorders, defects, etc, just ordinary people. 

While people with certain disorders might be more prone to cheat, IMO most cheaters do not have disorders. 

To me, any mention of personality disorder takes away some responsibility from the cheater. If they have a disorder, then they cannot help themselves.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

blueinbr said:


> IMO most cheaters are just ordinary people. I know many. Too many actually, including myself. No disorders, defects, etc, just ordinary people.
> 
> While people with certain disorders might be more prone to cheater, IMO most cheaters do not have disorders.
> 
> To me, any mention of personality disorder takes away some responsibility from the cheater. If they have a disorder, then they cannot help themselves.


Agreeded


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## Maxo (Mar 8, 2016)

chillymorn said:


> Agreeded


Most of the cheaters I know are selfish in the extreme and lack empathy and integrity. These are the characteristics one finds in NPDs.They can help it,but choose not to.


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## citygirl4344 (Mar 4, 2016)

blueinbr said:


> IMO most cheaters are just ordinary people. I know many. Too many actually, including myself. No disorders, defects, etc, just ordinary people.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




I agree. However having said that I do feel like some people are pre disposed to the traits of cheating...which were mentioned byOP.

Whether you act on it depends on your morals and integrity.

Consider this...they say there is a fine line between someone being labeled a genius and someone being labeled a psychopath. They have the same genetic makeup, same traits. It's the actual persons character that puts down the path to greatness or a more scarier path.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

blueinbr said:


> IMO most cheaters are just ordinary people. I know many. Too many actually, including myself. No disorders, defects, etc, just ordinary people.


I think cheaters probably have diverse personalities including the one listed about but all are disloyal and selfish and that is bad enough...the more I read cheaters posts here and elsewhere the more I feel they won't get it unless cheated on themselves..then I'd like to sit back and see how well they handle it...


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

There are different kinds of cheating and therefore, different kinds of cheaters.

Someone engaging in an exit affair is very different from a serial cheater.

And as we know from the examples of certain celebrities, it is not always true that once a cheater always a cheater.

That said, whether it's an inapproriate relationship, an EA or a PA, there is a certain amount of selfishness and attention seeking that's involved.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

blueinbr said:


> IMO most cheaters are just ordinary people. I know many. Too many actually, including myself. No disorders, defects, etc, just ordinary people.


Ordinary people who utterly lack any decent type moral conviction.

Today's fvcked up "do w/e makes you happy at all costs" society is pumping out these dysfunctional personalities in droves.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

BetrayedDad said:


> Ordinary people who utterly lack any decent type moral conviction.


For at least a period of time, yes.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Maxo said:


> The cluster b diorders are rampant in the cheating populace.


I once mentioned it to my MC when I was in IC.

And she said that anybody under stress can exhibit BPD tendancies while under stress or high cognitive dissonance loads and that didn't make them BPD.

It just made them human.


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## drifter777 (Nov 25, 2013)

A histrionic would not be capable of staying in a committed relationship without cheating. It they did that would prove they aren't histrionics. People with histrionic tendencies are everywhere which is why we talk about boundaries here so much. I have no histrionic tendencies so I am capable of opposite sex friendships and a little flirting without danger of cheating. My boundaries are built-in and are a big part of my moral compass. My wife is not capable of fraternizing with other men without having to consciously remind herself of her boundaries. She loves the attention and desire other men show her and if she didn't know I'd divorce her and take the family and security with me she'd happily trade sex for that attention. She has histrionic tendencies that she can control. If she had histrionic personality disorder she would trade her life, if necessary, for the desire and attention from other men. Nothing would stop her. True histrionics are not capable of a healthy LTR.


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## Maxo (Mar 8, 2016)

marduk said:


> I once mentioned it to my MC when I was in IC.
> 
> And she said that anybody under stress can exhibit BPD tendancies while under stress or high cognitive dissonance loads and that didn't make them BPD.
> 
> It just made them human.


Sounds right to me. Hence we talk about normal folks " picking up fleas" when in a relationship with a Cluster B. The constant stress of being with a Cluster B can make a non-disordered person act in ways similar to a Cluster B.
This seems to cause one of the main doubts the non.has when getting out:was it me that had the disorder?


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## Zanne (Dec 7, 2012)

.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

drifter777 said:


> A histrionic would not be capable of staying in a committed relationship without cheating. It they did that would prove they aren't histrionics. People with histrionic tendencies are everywhere which is why we talk about boundaries here so much. I have no histrionic tendencies so I am capable of opposite sex friendships and a little flirting without danger of cheating. My boundaries are built-in and are a big part of my moral compass. My wife is not capable of fraternizing with other men without having to consciously remind herself of her boundaries. She loves the attention and desire other men show her and if she didn't know I'd divorce her and take the family and security with me she'd happily trade sex for that attention. She has histrionic tendencies that she can control.* If she had histrionic personality disorder she would trade her life, if necessary, for the desire and attention from other men. Nothing would stop her.* True histrionics are not capable of a healthy LTR.


Classic case of lak of impulse control?

I heard someone defending the benefits of yoga prison as yoga is supposed to encourage impulse control.


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## Maxo (Mar 8, 2016)

Zanne said:


> Or perhaps the stress of being in a bad marriage can cause the same behaviors.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I agree. This is why I think it is fairly critical in trying to assess if a cheater is disordered , that one look at the cheater's history. If you have access to that, it can be enlightening.


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