# get me off this teeter totter!!! I need help.



## iNeedguidance (May 23, 2012)

Let me start with, I'm not the best speller or writer.... So try not to pick on me to much I'm here to get help because I've noticed I have a problem.

The short and main story is that I've only been married for two years working on three. I keep teetering back and forth about divorcing my husband. Its A mix of selfish and legitimate Maridel problems.

I am going to start off on a good note. Why I stay with my husband. I love him, VERY much, I always have. snice I meet him when we where kids I have loved him. He's always been one of my best friends. He takes very good care of me. He still married me knowing that I could end up in a weal chair some day because of my phoratic arthritic. we have a pretty good understanding for one other. He always trys to give me everything I want or need. A big reason why i stay is because i said in sickness and in heath ya know we made vow. 

I miss working and all, but it is really nice to be a house wife. Its very rare in this day in age and economy. not to Manichean we don't have any children. I wanted kids sooooo badly and first when we started talking so did he. then someone at his work changed his mind ( and I'm not going to force him in to something like that). we stoped trying for kids. every now and then think i feel like he teasing me because he will chance his mine and say he really wants to have a baby but it passes with in a day or two. I just tell him that when he can want kids for a year straight we will try again.

Sorry I got really off topic haha. sooo why I want to divorce him. there is not one passionate or romantic bone in his body. Even when we have sex or go on a date. It feels like I'm just on a date with a friend ( that i guess you have sex with?) and its not like we don't have good sex, but that's the problem its just sex.... 

he use to have his own ideas, dreams and out look on life... now he just kinda a zombie, hes what his job made him to be. hes VERY immature very very he has hissy fits. to tell you the truth.... I love him and care for him so much, but im not in love with him..... and yes I do have a good life, but I'm not happy. and I'm aware that's selfish...

I have brought up divorce before. it depends on his mood. sometimes he freaks out and others hes totally chill. once it almost happen i was going to move back in with my mom. we talked for hours about what we where going to do. then he asked me, " so this is it? we are just done?" and i couldn't come to my senses to say yes. he just kept asking over and over and i said "I dont know what else to do". and the fight ended. woke up the next morning he acted like nothing happen.



more in to it

bad bad stuff, before we where married he cheated. I didn't fine out till after we where married and i had to dig a lot to get this info. I would of never started digging if i didn't fine out he was talking to other girls. I moved from where i was going to school at the time to be with him before we started dating and i also found out the night before i got in from the move home, he slept with a girl. he knows i was coming back to be with him. I feel like he has done other bad things I'm just sick of digging i don't want to know anymore.



now I'm not no angle in this ether. I cheated wile we where married and talk to guys too, even worse I'm talking to guys i like not just flings( but that's it talking).... I know its wrong.... I told him about it already. he forgave me too a little to easy i gotta say. he just brushed it of like " what.... why? ok dont do it again." I still think thats very odd. 

I just wanna be happy... sometimes i think there is something wrong with me, why i cant be happy. what I don't understand is how my husband doesn't have any guilt..... I live with my guilt everyday. most the time i cant even sleep because of it. I just feel like he deserves better.



Please help any feed back is better then nothing.


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## BigdadG (May 6, 2012)

Sorry about your mess. have you tried marriage counseling ?


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## iNeedguidance (May 23, 2012)

my husband wont go.


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## alwaysoverwhelmed (Apr 24, 2012)

Do you want to work out your marriage? You said that you're not in love with him, but you do love him very much. Have you sought individual counseling to address how you're feeling?


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## iNeedguidance (May 23, 2012)

I do want to work it out. but I dont want him to be something hes not. Ive tryed individual counseling.... it was a waste of time. the guy was a quack. my mom made me go for anger plroblems. i went in he asked me about school and my life a little then asked why im angry. i was like uh idk isnt that why im here to see you? he didnt really say anything else. at the end he said that theres really no need to see him. so i never went back haha.


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## iNeedguidance (May 23, 2012)

It really turned me off of counseling all together.


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