# internet dating pictures and activities



## Tillaan

Ok so I know this is a little premature for where I am in the process. But, I've looked back through my photos and I'm not in hardly any of them. dad=family photographer lol. Anyway, I don't tend to do much of anything that isn't centered around my children, all the activities I enjoy are all kid friendly, well at least the ones I can afford are, and so I know it's going to take a lot of time to get a decent stock of photos of me to use when I jump back into dating. I have a few questions for those of you who have probably seen a bunch of mens profile photos. As I understand it from doing a decent bit of reading my goal is to get ok shots of myself doing stuff I enjoy so I can show I have hobbies, a life, am somewhat interesting, and can have fun ect.

Lets start with what I do in my spare time. hiking, volunteer through cub scouts as a den leader, random crap around the house or car, video games, play with the kids, drink beer and bbq. Also about to get back into four wheeling and I recently purchased a canoe. Lots of outdoors stuff, and of course video games are a solid cost effective hobby. pretty basic.

My problem is that obviously most every opportunity to get pictures of myself out doing anything involves kids, mine and sometimes a lot of other peoples, and for the scouting activities I'm in uniform or a tshirt that says our pack info on it.

thoughts on the possibility of kids (mine or other peoples) far enough the background to not be identifiable as who they are? I could potentially get some decent pics from people at scouting events, but no matter which direction you face theres kids in the background. And I am usually in a uniform shirt or at minimum a tshirt that has our pack info on it. Or a lot of time when I see pictures of adults at the scouting events the kids have their backs to the camera, as they are interacting with or listening to the adult leader.

thoughts on using photos of me with my kids and just cropping the image close on one side to sorta cut them out. I don't have any viable ones for this approach yet (yay for always holding a 2 year old.. thanks S2)

I don't have an account at a single dating site or app yet, and am not even looking to make one just yet, maybe soon though. I'm just thinking ahead after looking through my photos and realizing my last shot of me kid free and smiling was 10 years ago on my honeymoon. Unless you count an image here or there of me and the ex and those wont work lol.

I take terrible pictures, am horrible at smiling on command and when I do the smile isn' good. My for real smiles are ok, but my say cheese smile is garbage. I've never had that skill, and my overbite doesn't help me at all. So I am more or less just looking to start taking these pictures now so that when I want them I have a decent pool of pictures to work from.

Another concern I have is that if I use any pictures that have me doing scouting activities or show kids in the background I'll end up meeting women who have kids and are just looking for an active father figure and will enter into a relationship with that goal and not really looking someone for them to spend time with. That may have a bit to do with how me and the ex got together. She was lonely, I didn't hit it and quit it when I found out she had a kid, the kiddo loved me, and I loved the kid. I think she just shrugged and said ok I'll play along since he is willing to stay and no one else is. I'm not looking for that disaster again. If I meet someone and there's interest I want it to be their interest in me, not their interest in me with their kid.


----------



## EleGirl

Don't use any photos with children in them. It's just a bad idea.

If you are going to start dating, you probably would benefit from cultivating some friends and activities that do not involve children. One way to meet new people and find other things to get involved in is to check out the site meetup.com You just enter your zip code and it will come up with meetups in your area. It's not a dating site. People create meetups and post them. then other people join. For example in my area there are hundreds of them. Some that I think are really cool are rough water kayaking, hiking, and off road stuff, and a lot more. You could join some of these activities. And ask people at them to just get photos of you. P


----------



## Satya

What @EleGirl said. 

I'd add don't add ridiculous extreme sport pictures or travel photos if they are one - off occurrences for you. Do add pictures of things you can do regularly with ease and enjoy. Like a picture from a hiking trail rather than your sky diving picture. But that's just me. I got really sick of most men's profile pictures being from the extreme sports /experience that was post their last breakup. 

Oh, and fishing. Don't put fishing pics up unless you want a woman who can either fish with you or is happy to gut it and cook it.


----------



## Ynot

I agree with the Meet Up suggestion, but I would add to stay away from the groups that cater to just singles. Get involved in groups that do the things you enjoy, there will be lots of singles in their activities as well anyhow. If you meet someone from such a group you will at least share one common interest to start with. If nothing else you will get to do something you enjoy. The singles groups tend to attract some truly desperate people (as do OLD sites). That isn't to say you can't meet someone there, just that you will probably have to wade thru the pack to find one. There is a lot of pressure and neediness, so even just something simple like saying hello could lead someone to imagine you are interested.
Now that being said, concerning pics for OLD, actually you don't need a stack of them. Perhaps only one recent photo, maybe up to five in all. In fact too many could be counter productive. Definitely avoid pics with kids in them and if you have animals in your pics make sure you are in the pic as well.


----------



## Rowan

Go out with adult friends and have a good time doing something you enjoy. While you're at it, hand your phone to someone and ask them to take your picture. Do this a few times and you should start to have a decent collection of usable profile pictures. These occasions don't have to be anything elaborate, extreme, or particularly special. Most of my profile pictures were taken at various charity/civic events, a wine night at home with my best friend, and at another friend's birthday party. Your pictures just need to be decent, recent, show you off to good advantage, and represent your real life. 

I wouldn't post pictures of your own children, but it's fine to use one or two pictures that incidentally have children in the background. If necessary, you can always blur out their faces, as well as any other identifying information (such as on your uniform or shirt), prior to posting the pictures. But don't _just_ use pictures of you doing kid-related activities. You want to portray yourself as a balanced individual who has both family interests and adult interests, so mix it up a bit.


----------



## OnTheRocks

You just need a few decent pics of you doing stuff you do on a regular basis. If you own a boat, work that in somehow.  Definitely do not post pics of yourself playing video games. LOL


----------



## 225985

OnTheRocks said:


> You just need a few decent pics of you doing stuff you do on a regular basis. If you own a boat, work that in somehow.  Definitely do not post pics of yourself playing video games. LOL




And don't post pics of yourself masturbating, even if you do that on a regular basis.


----------



## OnTheRocks

^^Solid advice. LOL


----------



## bkyln309

Meetups are fun! I have a really fun singles group who go out a lot. I wouldn't date any of them but it's not my goal anyway. My other groups are hiking volleyball and food related ones. All great places to meet new friends. Again I haven't met anyone to date but I'm not looking.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Elizabeth001

I passed over all the shirtless guys. Made me feel like they were probably self absorbed and just looking to screw around. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## neverwantedthis

Elizabeth001 said:


> I passed over all the shirtless guys. Made me feel like they were probably self absorbed and just looking to screw around.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Hey, my H (separated, not D) has a shirtless photo on POF. And I still love him? :frown2::slap:


----------



## Betrayedone

Meetup groups were absolutely instrumental in helping me out of my funk........Highly recommend! One was a dance group at a wine bar. I was often the only man among a group of 13 women. I was never refused a dance and lost some weight 'cause I was a dancing fool......


----------



## OnTheRocks

I am pretty sure I look good without a shirt on. It's tempting, but shirtless pics come off as douchey / desperate / shallow. I feel the same way about duckface bikini pics... Pass.


----------



## 225985

OnTheRocks said:


> I am pretty sure I look good without a shirt on. It's tempting, but shirtless pics come off as douchey / desperate / shallow. I feel the same way about duckface bikini pics... Pass.




Post pics of yourself in FITTED shirts that don't have excess material.


----------



## Elizabeth001

blueinbr said:


> Post pics of yourself in FITTED shirts that don't have excess material.




Meh...or not. Just be confident about who you are inside because that's what is going to matter in the end 

ETA: And someone who's awesome will have a very nice gift to open some day 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## bkyln309

No shirtless pics, no dead animals, cowboy hats or boots and no kids. Other than that, you should just put normal pics up.


----------



## Rowan

bkyln309 said:


> No shirtless pics, no dead animals, cowboy hats or boots and no kids. Other than that, you should just put normal pics up.


Honestly, I would much rather a man be honest about who he is in his dating profile. If you're a big hunter or fisherman, then show me that. If you regularly wear cowboy hats or boots, post pictures that include them. If you're seriously into fitness, show me that. It's much worse, in my opinion, to showcase yourself as someone you're not by only having generic staged photos. The goal should be to have your photos represent your real life. No one likes to be surprised by the reality of someone after getting an entirely different impression from their online dating profile. Best to keep things flattering and fun, but realistic as well. 

Online dating is salesmanship, yes. But you're not going to be successful selling a Ford F-150 if you're showing prospective buyers pictures of an Audi A5, and vice versa. You might get lots of initial interest from people who want the Audi but they're going to quickly look elsewhere once they realize there's been false advertising. And meanwhile, you're missing out on all the people who might actually really want that Ford.


----------



## moco82

Betrayedone said:


> Meetup groups were absolutely instrumental in helping me out of my funk........Highly recommend! One was a dance group at a wine bar. I was often the only man among a group of 13 women. I was never refused a dance and lost some weight 'cause I was a dancing fool......


Well, if you can actually dance (or play guitar), that's like fishing with dynamite. Back in the day, I had a roommate who was an excellent guitar player and singer, and I pointed this out to him. He, apparently, had not thought about this as a leg up since he's been into music since early childhood. "Oh yeah, you're right", he said, after a few seconds of collecting memories, "A few songs and the clothes come off."


----------



## joannacroc

moco82 said:


> Well, *if you can actually dance (or play guitar), that's like fishing with dynamite*. Back in the day, I had a roommate who was an excellent guitar player and singer, and I pointed this out to him. He, apparently, had not thought about this as a leg up since he's been into music since early childhood. "Oh yeah, you're right", he said, after a few seconds of collecting memories, "A few songs and the clothes come off."


I would add, if you are a guy who can cook. Or woman for that matter. I'm objectively average-ish looking for my age, clumsy, not super smooth or flirty or seductive. However, I read a lot, am somewhat smart (on occasion), and can cook pretty well, and that always seems to go over nicely :grin2: 

There is some truth to the saying that the way to a man's (or woman's) heart is through his stomach. Take a cooking class!  You only need to learn a couple of simple dishes to get started. Nothing fancy. Just the basics, done really well, with good ingredients.


----------



## RandomDude

Hell go back to school and there's TEMPTATIONS galore!

>.<


----------



## _anonymous_

Rowan said:


> Honestly, I would much rather a man be honest about who he is in his dating profile.


On second thought, put up that shirtless pic of yourself wearing the cowboy hat and playing video games with all of your the kids! :grin2:


----------



## Evinrude58

neverwantedthis said:


> Hey, my H (separated, not D) has a shirtless photo on POF. And I still love him? :frown2::slap:


Loved it when Match paired me with my cheating ex wife. Hell, I wasn't even close to her "income range" she had on there. 

I suggest you're putting far too much thought in the pictures, OP. Get a few in nice clothes and let it ride. It's your messages and how attractive you are that get the ladies' attn. They don't care about all your hobbies and sports.
Get as good of a picture of yourself as possible. That's all you are on OLD.


----------



## Satya

I remember when Match tried to hook me up with the founder of the company where I was working at the time.
And my mom kept hounding on me to date him as well, since she knew he was single. He was an upstanding gentleman, but a little to "extreme sports" for me. Every week he'd come in with a story about how he nearly got killed doing something or other, and I saw the injuries and casts to prove it. Hopefully he found a daredevil woman.


----------



## moco82

joannacroc said:


> I would add, if you are a guy who can cook.


At least I got that going for me.


----------



## Mrs.Sav

Coming from a female POV (as I've seen many profiles since I've been back on the dating market) so I'll list my biggest pet peeves: 

1) proper spelling and usage of grammar
2) don't be too lengthy or too short in your description
3) do not post shirtless selfies. In fact, just avoid self portraits altogether. 2-4 pictures should suffice (not grainy and rather recent - absolutely no photos of you with 3 women wrapped around your arms or with another woman, unless she's your aunt or grandma)
4) when emailing a woman, do not say "hi", "hello", "hey sexy....dear, hon, pretty, baby". It is the equivalent of cat-calling and it is better not to make any reference to her appearance. The ideal message is to send a 2-3 sentence message which indicates you've read her profile. She will know you did not copy and paste and it's not a generic canned opening message you could have sent to any woman.

Whatever you do, do not post photos of you in a gym. I know fitness is portrayed as a good thing, however, any photos of anyone in a gym immediately turns me off. I prefer a man who is more outdoorsy active (biking, hiking, golfing, playing soccer or a sport), not pumping weights. It gives off a shallow meat-head vibe especially those that state they go at least 4-5 times/week. Also, as already stated by Evinrude, no one cares about hobbies (at least they shouldn't put so much weight on it). IF you can play a musical instrument, that's fine to list, but it's not a requirement. I am not a fan of the extreme sports type either (bungee jumping, sky diving, marathons, triathlons etc). It gives off the vibe where you can't sit still and are always on the go seeking the next adrenaline rush. 

If you do all this, you would probably be in the minority (which would make you stand out in the crowd).

Hope that helps.


----------



## wilson

Here's some picture ideas you could take solo with a tripod that would be sure winners.

Pic #1: You standing in front of the open hood of your car, wrench in hand, wearing a wifebeater with a sooty smudge or two on it.

Pic #2: You kneeling down in front of your dog as you wrap a bandage around his paw.

Pic #3: You in front of a stove with a big pot of spaghetti sauce, wearing a chef's hat, and tasting the sauce with a wooden spoon.


----------



## Elizabeth001

Mrs.Sav said:


> Coming from a female POV (as I've seen many profiles since I've been back on the dating market) so I'll list my biggest pet peeves:
> 
> 
> 
> 1) proper spelling and usage of grammar
> 
> 2) don't be too lengthy or too short in your description
> 
> 3) do not post shirtless selfies. In fact, just avoid self portraits altogether. 2-4 pictures should suffice (not grainy and rather recent - absolutely no photos of you with 3 women wrapped around your arms or with another woman, unless she's your aunt or grandma)
> 
> 4) when emailing a woman, do not say "hi", "hello", "hey sexy....dear, hon, pretty, baby". It is the equivalent of cat-calling and it is better not to make any reference to her appearance. The ideal message is to send a 2-3 sentence message which indicates you've read her profile. She will know you did not copy and paste and it's not a generic canned opening message you could have sent to any woman.
> 
> 
> 
> Whatever you do, do not post photos of you in a gym. I know fitness is portrayed as a good thing, however, any photos of anyone in a gym immediately turns me off. I prefer a man who is more outdoorsy active (biking, hiking, golfing, playing soccer or a sport), not pumping weights. It gives off a shallow meat-head vibe especially those that state they go at least 4-5 times/week. Also, as already stated by Evinrude, no one cares about hobbies (at least they shouldn't put so much weight on it). IF you can play a musical instrument, that's fine to list, but it's not a requirement. I am not a fan of the extreme sports type either (bungee jumping, sky diving, marathons, triathlons etc). It gives off the vibe where you can't sit still and are always on the go seeking the next adrenaline rush.
> 
> 
> 
> If you do all this, you would probably be in the minority (which would make you stand out in the crowd).
> 
> 
> 
> Hope that helps.




Well said. Agree 100%!!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Elizabeth001

wilson said:


> Here's some picture ideas you could take solo with a tripod that would be sure winners.
> 
> 
> 
> Pic #1: You standing in front of the open hood of your car, wrench in hand, wearing a wifebeater with a sooty smudge or two on it.
> 
> 
> 
> Pic #2: You kneeling down in front of your dog as you wrap a bandage around his paw.
> 
> 
> 
> Pic #3: You in front of a stove with a big pot of spaghetti sauce, wearing a chef's hat, and tasting the sauce with a wooden spoon.




Hahahaa! I'd hit that :-D


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## JukeboxHero

I love this thread, and I'm honestly thinking about trying to get some good photos of myself for dating profiles. I rarely get into the photographs, so I'm going to actually try to get people to take pics with me in them (or selfies). 

After that, I'm thinking of posting my pics here for critiques. 

Is there any reason why this would be a bad idea?


----------



## southbound

I've browsed some dating sites. Men and women's likes and dislikes may be different, but as a guy, I just prefer pictures of women in their everyday environment. I don't care for pictures:

-with pets. It says to me that they care a little more about pets than I do. 

- that try to impress with vacation pictures or activities like skydiving

- with men without explanation. One can assume it's her brother, but if it doesn't say, one never knows. If it's their guy friend and they felt he was important enough to include, it's a little much for me.


----------



## Bananapeel

Sit on a cannon wearing a speedo. Works every time.


----------



## Rowan

I saw a rather disheartening number of men's dating profile photos that included obvious wedding pictures - with the bride not-quite-completely cropped out. One couldn't help but think that they were likely _his_ wedding photos and that the bride he'd attempted to eliminate must be either his former wife, or worse, his _current _one. 

Fellas, if you have a picture of you at a wedding on your dating profile, please at least be able to honestly explain in the caption that the woman you're standing next to - whose hair, white gown, and hand tucked into the crook of your elbow, are not entirely Photoshopped out - is your mother, sister, niece, cousin, daughter, something besides your wife!


----------



## OnTheRocks

southbound said:


> I've browsed some dating sites. Men and women's likes and dislikes may be different, but as a guy, I just prefer pictures of women in their everyday environment. I don't care for pictures:
> 
> -with pets. It says to me that they care a little more about pets than I do.
> 
> - that try to impress with vacation pictures or activities like skydiving
> 
> - with men without explanation. One can assume it's her brother, but if it doesn't say, one never knows. If it's their guy friend and they felt he was important enough to include, it's a little much for me.


So many women post pics with their pets. No thanks, especially if it's a horse.


----------



## southbound

OnTheRocks said:


> southbound said:
> 
> 
> 
> I've browsed some dating sites. Men and women's likes and dislikes may be different, but as a guy, I just prefer pictures of women in their everyday environment. I don't care for pictures:
> 
> -with pets. It says to me that they care a little more about pets than I do.
> 
> - that try to impress with vacation pictures or activities like skydiving
> 
> - with men without explanation. One can assume it's her brother, but if it doesn't say, one never knows. If it's their guy friend and they felt he was important enough to include, it's a little much for me.
> 
> 
> 
> So many women post pics with their pets. No thanks, especially if it's a horse.
Click to expand...

I think I could handle a horse better than a cat or dog posing on the sofa with them. I'm sure it shares the bed, and I'm just not up for that.


----------



## OnTheRocks

Horsies = entitled princess in 99% of cases.


----------



## MrsHolland

Just get a couple of decent, simple photos taken by a friend. OLD is just a process and personally the first step was to check out their face first, if not my type then I was on to the next profile. Not so many men are good looking as they get older so the good looking ones stood out straight away. Then I would read the profile which had to be written with at least half a brain. 

I never bothered with the overly wordy profiles and much preferred bullet point lists with some humor thrown in.

Oh and shirtless pics are just stupid.


----------



## Ynot

I try to cover all the bases. So I have a shirtless pic of myself sitting on my motorcycle, with my guitar strapped to my back and my cat sitting comfortably in the attached car seat, Manly, masculine, sensitive pet lover! LOL!


----------

