# a fish out of water



## dignityinshambles (Apr 27, 2012)

Pretty new here to TAM - second post - searching for help.

Quick background....marriage has been slowly disintegrating for many years. I have been emotionally abusive acting out from a fear of abandonment and being way too emotionally dependent on her. She has built a wall of resentment as large and now as old as the China wall!

Been going to MC for about a month now. Was making a slight bit of progress, then, I took a step back and acted out big time. This really made me realize - time to clean up my side of the street. I need to back off from her, give her space, not sulk when she rejects me, try my best not to ask for her intimacy and opportunity to connect.

To do so, I am getting out of the house at night. Making my own plans and dating myself (have no other close friends - do not even remember how to make them).

This new approach is soooooo hard for me.

Any suggestions?


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## grenville (Sep 21, 2011)

dignityinshambles said:


> have no other close friends - do not even remember how to make them)


Fix that first. Depending on where you live (urban or rural), there's different approaches. For urban, I'd suggest meetup.com - it's a great way of meeting people with similar interests in a non-threatening social setting. For rural, you need to look to established clubs and societies etc: amateur dramatics is always a good one as there's something for everyone (e.g. back stage stuff if you're not into performing).


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

But stay out of the bars and the club scenes!


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