# Am I Paranoid?



## Ingalls (Mar 7, 2012)

Well I can answer YES...
but with the specific event I would appreciate an outsider's opinion on whether or not I'm reading more into this AND/OR if I should ask him straight up about it?

Quick rundown: my H EA was started at a product expo show in Vegas. Of the MANY reasons and excuses as to why in the beginning was never convinced anything was wrong was bc OW was in a similar industry, blah blah blah. Over the years we have worked to no FB, email, Text, etc. Recently he agrees "maybe" it was an EA but still not 100% convinced will willing to stop due to my emotions and other PA since then. 

He is in sales and over the last few months he has been focusing on introducing a new industry to his company (I will call it cleaning-ha) and it's been going good etc. I JUST googled this girl (I've been refraining from reading her emails and looking her up bc it causes me to trigger-I'm VERY jealous of her). She has switched jobs in January to the "cleaning" industry. 

Aghhh....am I being dumb? Searching for something that isn't there and this could all be a coincidence?


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## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH, Ingalls. How has HE been acting in the meantime? I guess the question is are the two industries related? Is there a natural progression? I mean is it like for example
landscaping and lawnmowing OR
Banking and pharmacueiticals?


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## Ingalls (Mar 7, 2012)

canttrustu said:


> AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH, Ingalls. How has HE been acting in the meantime? I guess the question is are the two industries related? Is there a natural progression? I mean is it like for example
> landscaping and lawnmowing OR
> Banking and pharmacueiticals?


He can sell to any industry really...but they have honed in on a few specific ones over the last 15 years. Now he added this one. Urgh, she does live like 5 states away. I went through his sales records and none have her company name on them. 

I mentioned he stopped her OLD company newsletter/emails to him 2 months ago, but never told me and when I asked why I'm not seeing those company emails anymore he says "Oh I deleted my email from receiving those anymore because it bothers you each time you see it." [that's true-it bothered me]


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## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

SOOO, it COULD be coincidence? right? In fact he may not even know she's changed jobs. Keep your eyes open,Ing.


But in answer to your question- Are you paranoid??? I think paranoia is when you have no real reason to be concerned. I think he has given you reason in the past to remain vigilant.


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## Kurosity (Dec 22, 2011)

canttrustu said:


> SOOO, it COULD be coincidence? right? In fact he may not even know she's changed jobs. Keep your eyes open,Ing.


I agree fully with canttrustu. I think that after a A of any kind the bs always becomes more paranoid when things look like a coincidence because we have learned that sometimes they are not. I would just keep an eye open but do not make your self crazy with it.


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## Ingalls (Mar 7, 2012)

Thanks CTT and Kurosity:
I should have NEVER looked the OW up. It set me spinning and I thought I was strong enough. Now I'm jealous all over again. She is perfect (not like what I've read on OW). 8 years younger, yoga master, hiking, white water rafting, single, travels, positive (her tweets could encourage even me), runner, etc....oh she lives in the ONE PLACE my H would say he wishes he could live since we dated in high school. Crap.


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## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

Ingalls said:


> Thanks CTT and Kurosity:
> I should have NEVER looked the OW up. It set me spinning and I thought I was strong enough. Now I'm jealous all over again. She is perfect (not like what I've read on OW). 8 years younger, yoga master, hiking, white water rafting, single, travels, positive (her tweets could encourage even me), runner, etc....oh she lives in the ONE PLACE my H would say he wishes he could live since we dated in high school. Crap.


BUT.....he's married and chooses to stay with YOU.


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## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

*Recently he agrees "maybe" it was an EA but still not 100% convinced will willing to stop due to my emotions and other PA since then.*

PA? Yours or his?


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## Ingalls (Mar 7, 2012)

He kissed a girl- his pa. Not related to his EA. It was a drunk night girl was 21 he 38
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ingalls (Mar 7, 2012)

Paranoid again! When is it gonna end? So far gut instincts have all be correct. SO....
last week I started this post and he WAS hiding porn from from me. Now he isn't replying to emails or texts for 3 hours??? I just want to NOT be like this but can't control it???


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## tokn (Sep 9, 2011)

I've always heard women have very strong intuition or "sixth" sense, i think there some element of truth to it.

Listen to your gut, keep your eyes peel for changes in behavior and start digging for answers, email accounts, text, phone records.


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## Kurosity (Dec 22, 2011)

Yeah keep your eyes open.

I know what you mean about it making you crazy but the fact is you are not. It seems to be the reaction people have to such things. (the steps of the grief process does this to us)

At one point I litterally thought I was loosing my mind and that these weird things I saw in my H was just my self making things up. But a friend of mine reminded me that I knew him better then anyone could and once habits in behavior change on a dime that something is up because there has to be lot for one to break habits so quickly. I think it is like 40 days to break a habit for good. But all my crazy thoughts were confirmed and I was shocked that I "saw" so much more then others did but I learned to trust my self.
I would take the time to check on him but also take a breather and do things that make you feel less crazy, little distractions are healthy once in a while esp. if you are feeling nuts stop and breath. 
She may seem perfect but that is just her showing people what she wants them to see. Rarely do people share their flaws openly. I bet you are just as perfect in your own way and you should stop compairing your self to her because your self esteem is not going to get better for it. Really I bet ten to one that she has enough flaws to sink a ship in their weight.


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## Ingalls (Mar 7, 2012)

Thanks token and kurosity
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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