# Hi from South Carolina



## Sammytharpe (May 5, 2020)

My name is Samantha. I'm married to a man who I love very much but who sometimes drains me emotionally. He has some significant others deficiencies in communication skills.

Our relationship is a fairly unique one, with both of us bearing scars from our past relationships and childhood and we are only navigating the best we know how.

He shows some traits of narcissism but doesn't seem "fully" narcissistic.

And he hates me getting outside advice because he despises admitting he's wrong. Wish me luck guys.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Welcome -- lots of good folks here who can help!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Sammytharpe said:


> My name is Samantha. I'm married to a man who I love very much but who sometimes drains me emotionally. He has some significant others deficiencies in communication skills.
> 
> Our relationship is a fairly unique one, with both of us bearing scars from our past relationships and childhood and we are only navigating the best we know how.
> 
> ...


 Well.. good luck! 

If you are using your real name as your user name here. It's best to be anonymous on this site because we talk about a lot of very private things. If it's your real name, let me know what you would like your name changed to and I'll take care of it.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Sammytharpe,

So what's going on?


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## Sammytharpe (May 5, 2020)

EleGirl said:


> Sammytharpe,
> 
> So what's going on?


Just dealing with a man I love who seems to be taking me for granted but I can't unlove him


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Sammytharpe said:


> Just dealing with a man I love who seems to be taking me for granted but I can't unlove him


How long have you two been married?

Could you give some examples of him doing things that are taking you for ganted?


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## Sammytharpe (May 5, 2020)

Telling me to pack my bags and leave every time I bring up something he does that I don't like. For example I've caught him looking at hookup and chat sites and I'm not allowed to bring it up or he flips because I'm "calling him a liar".


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Sammytharpe said:


> Telling me to pack my bags and leave every time I bring up something he does that I don't like. For example I've caught him looking at hookup and chat sites and I'm not allowed to bring it up or he flips because I'm "calling him a liar".


OK, that's not good.

When you say you catch him, what do you mean? Do you walk into a room where he's at an see him on one of the sites? Or have you searched his phone and computer and found evidence of this? Do you have solid evidence and know how far this goes?

How long have the two of you been married?


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## Sammytharpe (May 5, 2020)

All of the above are true. But we have only been officially married for about 3 months.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Sammytharpe said:


> All of the above are true. But we have only been officially married for about 3 months.


Did you live together before you two married? 

I'm no sure what you mean by "All the above is true."

Do you mean that you have walked in on him and you have search his devices and have solid evidence of what he's doing?

How old are the two of you?

Was he doing this while you were together, before you married?

I'm assuming you have evidence. What evidence do you have?


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## Sammytharpe (May 5, 2020)

The evidence is all over his history and his defensiveness. And I've actually caught him. We were together a couple years before we git married and this has pretty much been going on since we met


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Sammytharpe said:


> The evidence is all over his history and his defensiveness. And I've actually caught him. We were together a couple years before we git married and this has pretty much been going on since we met


He's clearly going to deny what he's doing and go after you verbally if you if you bring it up. This is who he is.

The reason I asked about evidence is that if you are going to turn on you if you bring it up. If you feel that you have to confront him and ask him to stop going to hookup and chat sites, you are going to need hard evidence. That's things like printed out copies of his history and this evidence that you have found. 

If he's goin to those types of sites, he's probably been meeting up with other women. He's probably been cheating. Do you have any evidence of him sexting online and/or meeting women in person?

What he's doing is a form of cheating. Since he's been doing it all along and you have been aware of it all this time, why are you still with him?


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