# Online Affair AGAIN!



## momofthree (Mar 10, 2010)

Hi, I'm new here. A few years ago my husband was talking online with someone that we had a history with and he knew I wouldn't approve and hid it from me. I found out and it ended. Well less than a year ago I found emails on his computer to/from this girl last year along with some other ones, including being signed up on some single sites. We separated briefly we went to some counselling (3 free sessions through his work program but couldn't afford to continue and things were going really well). I asked now and again if there was stuff I should be worried about he .. he always said no. Well this past weekend I found a bunch of emails from someone he works with (who lives in the states - we are in Canada) and they were extremely sexual. I confronted him with them - which he couldn't deny. He said he was sorry it only started up a few weeks ago. I guess they were introduced at a work thing when they were in Austin and started emailing after that. I told him last year when this happened that I wouldn't take it anymore. When I found out Saturday I was adament that my marriage was over. I'm still struggling with this as I still love him. Apart from this we have a really good marriage - but I can't deal with this. I think he is going to move in with his sister's boyfriend for now so that he can get some help. He seems to need the attention from other women. we have been married almost 18 years and have 3 kids - and he said it has gotten boring. I told him that is no reason to go on and do this - but to come to me instead. Why do I keep going back and forth in my head. Do I work on things with him when it has already happened a few times? He swears up and down that he has never meet anyone except a girl for coffee.


----------



## Lyn (Mar 10, 2010)

He's BORED? What is he, 8? Sorry to react so, but my husband had an affair with someone he was once involved with after he friended her on Facebook.

I say that if he is serious about getting and staying honest with you and accountable for his behavior, work on it. If not, you are in for a lot more pain.

Best,

Lyn


----------



## stillINshock (Apr 9, 2009)

He's very selfish - but he's saying something honest. And to hurt you. He resents you. Personally, I would have a really hard time taking him back - been in your shoes. My H had 2 - that he confessed to. I still believe there is more in his past I don't know about. 
But that you guys already went through a separation because of this and that didn't give him a clear enough picture of what the stakes were are very concerning.

He resents you and probably says hurtful things to you intentionally. 
There is something he is not 'getting' from your marriage. 
The question is, are you really interested in finding out what it is - and trust him enough to give it? 
If you are, I keep recommending reading that helped me. (Your case is very similar to mine.) "HIS NEEDS HER NEEDS"
But honestly, for YOU to be the one doing all this work while he's been so hurtful - its very very very difficult. 

I don't know.


----------

