# Marry boyfriend with DUI?



## phmnow

*What are the legal consequences (real and potential) of marrying someone with a DUI?*

My boyfriend (35) has a 3 year old DUI conviction. BF and I (age 38, divorced from previous marriage) have been dating for 1 year and he is pressuring me to get married. I'm afraid of marrying him due to any legal issues that may pop up due to his permanent DUI conviction. We are both professionals, with Master's degrees. I do not drink. I've asked BF to limit himself to 2, and he seems to stick to this. Also I 've employment concerns for BF (us if married) I've heard that many employers do not hire people with DUI convictions - could this potentially impact his future employment (if he changes job). What potential legal impact could the DUI have on any potential children we have together?

Please also recommend any legal site.


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## brighteyes72

i don't know what state you live in. the laws are different everywhere. in illinois, for example:

Illinois DWI Worst Case Scenario

frankly, a first offense dui is often pled down to wreckless driving or the equivalent. i'm not excusing drunk driving, it's just how the legal system deals with the glut of cases they face.


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## phmnow

Thanks for the reply.

Driving consequences are:
He lost Driver's License for 1 year, and now can drive again.
He took bus/train to work for that year (which was 2 years ago)
He can't rent a car in the USA

Other consequence:
He has to get a visa to go to Canada (and Americans in general don't). Not a biggie - paperwork and some money.

I want to be with him - married or not. I need to know what other legal consequences are there of his DUI before I commit to be in a legal married partnership with him. 

So, what else is legally an issue/consequence of DUI?

- Can it affect his "employ-ability"?
- If we have children, can it affect the family legally?
- ...?

We are currently in Georgia. But is there an issue if we move to another state?


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## voivod

phmnow said:


> Driving consequences are:
> He lost Driver's License for 1 year, and now can drive again.
> He took bus/train to work for that year (which was 2 years ago)
> He can't rent a car in the USA


pretty standard





phmnow said:


> Other consequence:
> He has to get a visa to go to Canada (and Americans in general don't). Not a biggie - paperwork and some money.


canada is probably a little too cautious with their visas and travel permits, but, hey, it's their country. if you have any kind of record they want to know about it, and they expect you to volunteer the info.




phmnow said:


> I want to be with him - married or not. I need to know what other legal consequences are there of his DUI before I commit to be in a legal married partnership with him.


the thing should have been adjudicated in georgia already. his lawyer would be privvy to any extenuating circumstances regarding the punishment phase. there are probably no loose ends to this thing.



phmnow said:


> So, what else is legally an issue/consequence of DUI?
> 
> - Can it affect his "employ-ability"?
> - If we have children, can it affect the family legally?
> - ...?
> 
> We are currently in Georgia. But is there an issue if we move to another state?


employability? if you are in an at-will employment state, the point is moot. if they don't like the knot in his tie they can fire him.

affect the family? many employers do backgriound checks. it will show up on a background check. how much weight is put on a dui, anybodies guess.


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## StrongEnough

I am not sure of the laws in Georgia, but in my state the DUI stays on the drivers record for 7 years. If they do not have any other criminal charges driving related, the slate is wiped clean after the 7 years have passed. How long ago was this?


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## GAsoccerman

PHMnow

I think most employers will see this on his record and he would ahve to explain himself, if it was amistake driving home one night from a dinner and had to much and that was it, they may over look it. If he did something far worse, then probably not.

He is currently enployed correct? The company he currently works for seems to like him. He does have a masters, and we all make mistakes, seemed he has learned his lesson and has been a good boy. I drink 2 when out to dinner and stop, drink plenty at home. Also I do not drink a drop if I have my kids around and my wife is not there and I ahve to drive somewhere, I will wait until I am home and done driving for the night, but if the wife and I are out for dinner, I will drink 2 beers and stop switch to sweat tea or water.

I work with 2 Alcholohics, who have multiple DUI's and they have not been fired yet, so it is a tricky thing.

I did a little fact checking, It will be on his recod for ever..Unless you try to get it expunged.

which is tough to do.

BUT reading deeper, if he has kept his nose clean, and he has been a good boy with ZERO mistakes after that DUI conviction 3 years ago he can ask for a Pardon after 5 years.. ..see this, do some research on Google. I wouldn't worry to much, sounds like he cleaned up his issue and doesn't want the same mistake to happen again, he has learned a tough lesson.

If you are denied expungement, inside thirty days you can file an appeal with the superior court of the county where you were detained. 

Another alternative is requesting to have your civil liberties restored if your crimes cannot be expunged from your criminal record. You can apply for this if you have served your condemnation and you live in Georgia. 

A third choice is applying for a pardon if your conviction was in a Georgia court. For this, you must finish serving your sentence and wait five years to apply. During that five years, you cannot have committed any crimes. You cannot have any unpaid fines or have other charges awaiting against you. You can get the application from the Parole Board. There is no charge to apply.


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## Chris Taylor

Bottom line is yes, it can affect his ability to get a job, especially in a tight economy. However the longer he stays clean, the better chance he will have.

If he is employed now, that is a step in the right direction as it builds a reference for the future... someone who can say he never had issues on the job.

As for family legality, you may have issues with life and car insurance, paying more than others or being denied and this affects how the family is run. However I trust that American capitalism will always find a way to take your money for insurance.


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## Stuie

phmnow said:


> he is pressuring me to get married.


Why? Seriously - if you are feeling "pressured" than maybe you should wait, or re-evaluate what you want out of the relationship.

As for the DUI, I would worry more about the potential for future problems with alcohol. When he drinks, does he really limit himself to 2 drinks? Does he have a problem limiting himself? Also, be on guard for 2 turning into 3 and then 4 and then getting out of hand.


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## greeneyeddolphin

It *can* affect his ability to find employment, depending on the job and its duties. For example, my boyfriend is a truck driver. A DUI for him can actually happen on only a .04 instead of a .08 like the rest of us, and it would automatically mean he's done as a truck driver. He would never again work as a truck driver. Luckily, he's not a drinker.  My mother made a mistake one night of driving after she'd had a couple of drinks, and she got a DUI. She will not find a job that requires any driving at all, simply because no employer will take the chance where we are. It's been long enough (10 years this month...wow, time flies), that somewhere else, an employer might chance it, since she's never had another, and has gotten no other traffic things at all (no tickets, accidents, etc.) as well as no other convictions. 

It will (or did) increase his insurance rates, which means if you guys combine an insurance policy, you will pay a higher rate. And if you keep separate policies, many insurance companies will add your spouse to your policy anyway, because the theory is that your spouse has access to your vehicle and therefore could drive it, so they'd rather be safe than sorry. 

As for effects on your children, unless he drives drunk with them in the car, they really won't be affected. It's not like he's a convicted sex offender or in prison, where people might pick on the kids or you'd have to wonder if he might hurt them. It's something that, honestly, unless you tell people, no one will ever really know about unless they go hunting for the info, and most people aren't going to do that without good reason. Their ability to get life/health/dental insurance is not affected by him, nor is their ability to get a driver's license. They may pay the higher insurance rate while on your policy, but as adults getting their own policy, it will reflect only their own driving mistakes. 

That answers, I think, most of the questions you had. But...I have to say, if he's pressuring you, I don't think I'd do it. I wouldn't want to get married because he pressured me, or vice versa. I'd want to get married because we love each other and we both want to do it, and it feels right.


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