# Fiancé addicted to dating sites.



## Islandmom (Oct 31, 2015)

I have two children one is 10 the other is one. My oldest, who is not my fiance's son wanted to watch a movie on the iPad so when I went to get the link I found links to dating websites and fetish websites as well as craigslist. He said he hasn't cheated physically, that he was using the sites like porn. One account had no pictures and false info but on his profile he was claiming he was single and the whole profiledescription he was offering to knock up women...he said he made it that way so no one would contact him. He said he was on Craigslist just once but when I dug further I found out he lied .... I also found out he was on a fetish website ( you can meet locals) for our whole three years...even the day of our babies first birthday. 

Financially I can't ask him to leave, I'm not entirely sure what to do... I'm so torn and know I deserve better. Has anyone been through this? What would you do and do you think he could change? He wants to see a counsellor.


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

Islandmom said:


> I have two children one is 10 the other is one. My oldest, who is not my fiance's son wanted to watch a movie on the iPad so when I went to get the link I found links to dating websites and fetish websites as well as craigslist. He said he hasn't cheated physically, that he was using the sites like porn. One account had no pictures and false info but on his profile he was claiming he was single and the whole profiledescription he was offering to knock up women...he said he made it that way so no one would contact him. He said he was on Craigslist just once but when I dug further I found out he lied .... I also found out he was on a fetish website ( you can meet locals) for our whole three years...even the day of our babies first birthday.
> 
> Financially I can't ask him to leave, I'm not entirely sure what to do... I'm so torn and know I deserve better. Has anyone been through this? What would you do and do you think he could change? He wants to see a counsellor.


Talk to a lawyer NOW. It is very likely that he can get a court order forcing your husband to pay what he is paying now to support your home, provide food, etc. Details will vary from state to state so you MUST talk to a lawyer.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

sidney2718 said:


> Talk to a lawyer NOW. It is very likely that he can get a court order forcing your husband to pay what he is paying now to support your home, provide food, etc. Details will vary from state to state so you MUST talk to a lawyer.


They are not married, so would that make a difference?

Islandmom, get tested for STDs. He may not be cheating physically, but why take the risk?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Your fiancé is a serial cheater. It's highly unlikely that he has not been meeting women on Craigslist. After all, why post there if he's not meeting anyone? Cheaters always lie to cover up. If they has a 10 year physical affair, they will tell you that the person was just a friend and they only kissed one time.

Meeting people on places like Craigslist is high risk behavior. He's most likely had sex with a fair number of women. You need to get tested for STD's.

Do you have a job? Do either or both of you own the home you live in?

I agree that you need to see a lawyer. Talk to the lawyer about him paying you child support. Depending on the state, some sort of 'spousal' support might be possible as well.


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## Be smart (Feb 22, 2015)

Your fiance is lying to you. He is serial cheater. Sorry for you and your kids.

Go and see a lawyer for child suport or any suport then RUN my lady.


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> They are not married, so would that make a difference?
> 
> Islandmom, get tested for STDs. He may not be cheating physically, but why take the risk?


Sorry, I missed that.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Islandmom said:


> I have two children one is 10 the other is one. My oldest, who is not my fiance's son wanted to watch a movie on the iPad so when I went to get the link I found links to dating websites and fetish websites as well as craigslist. He said he hasn't cheated physically, that he was using the sites like porn. One account had no pictures and false info but on his profile he was claiming he was single and the whole profiledescription he was offering to knock up women...he said he made it that way so no one would contact him. He said he was on Craigslist just once but when I dug further I found out he lied .... I also found out he was on a fetish website ( you can meet locals) for our whole three years...even the day of our babies first birthday.
> 
> Financially I can't ask him to leave, I'm not entirely sure what to do... I'm so torn and know I deserve better. Has anyone been through this? What would you do and do you think he could change? He wants to see a counsellor.


A person who tries to cheat but fails is not a catch. Possibly less of a catch than the person who succeeds.


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## Islandmom (Oct 31, 2015)

I work from home running a childcare business and I recently had all of my kids start kindergarten. It's taking a while to find more. i own the house we live in.neverythung is in my name, I started dating him 6 years after I bought my house.


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## efitzgerald22015 (Nov 2, 2015)

They can change if they want to trust me been threw it but they gotta want to


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## carmen ohio (Sep 24, 2012)

Islandmom said:


> I have two children one is 10 the other is one. My oldest, who is not my fiance's son wanted to watch a movie on the iPad so when I went to get the link I found links to dating websites and fetish websites as well as craigslist. He said he hasn't cheated physically, that he was using the sites like porn. One account had no pictures and false info but on his profile he was claiming he was single and the whole profiledescription he was offering to knock up women...he said he made it that way so no one would contact him. He said he was on Craigslist just once but when I dug further I found out he lied .... I also found out he was on a fetish website ( you can meet locals) for our whole three years...even the day of our babies first birthday.
> 
> Financially I can't ask him to leave, I'm not entirely sure what to do... I'm so torn and know I deserve better. Has anyone been through this? What would you do and do you think he could change? He wants to see a counsellor.


Dear Islandmom,

IMO, you would be foolish to plan on having a long term relationship with your fiancé, given his sexual predilections. However, if you are currently dependent on him, I see no reason why you should not continue to rely on him financially for a reasonable period of time, while you rebuild your business clientele and otherwise become self-supporting.

Of course, if you decide to go this route, you will have to decide whether and to what extent you are prepared to deceive him about your motives and plans.

Since the two of you have a child together, when you do decide to separate from him, you should speak to an attorney about securing child support.

Wishing you the best.


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## BrokenLady (Jan 19, 2015)

There are a couple of threads running at the moment where older children have used their fathers phones/computers etc & discovered this kind of thing. The poor kids are DEVASTATED!! They've lost all respect for their fathers, been crippled with guilt for their mothers. Get your boyfriend to read them!! Show him what the future holds for him & the kids. :crying:

I'm so sorry you're here.


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## ihatethis (Oct 17, 2013)

Go talk to a lawyer, it's free to just meet with them. They will tell you if there is anything you can do. Whatever you decide to do, you cannot continue a relationship with this man. That is for certain.


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## Bloseman (Mar 26, 2020)

It's very good, that there is such good service.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

7 year old thread... zombie thread. Closed.


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