# Rewarding the hubby with something special...need advice



## strugglingtostaysane (Jan 5, 2015)

I feel rather silly asking for this kind of advice, but here goes. Recently my husband and I went through a rough patch. We are both dedicated to making changes to improve things though, and I'm starting to see differences already. I have been delighted by his efforts and wanted to "reward" him a bit. This is where I need some advice. We typically have sex once a week (sometimes twice if we're lucky!) and he gets oral about once every week or two. Sometimes the oral is just a prelude to the sex, but sometimes I finish and swallow for him as well. We don't use toys or do anal- neither of us are really into that. Anyhow, I am looking for something new and different than our usual- not that our usual isn't satisfying; I'd just like to do something special to show him that I really do appreciate the work he's been putting into our relationship. Any ideas? What is something you would like as a 'thank you' if it were your significant other asking this question? Specific clothes before sex or certain positions or anything you can think of. Thanks!


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## Methuselah (Nov 24, 2014)

Blow job.


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## MyTurn (Oct 27, 2013)

well,
I was reading in the living room and wife came in wearing a very sexy babydoll and highheels ,
just waves to me to follow her in the bedroom without saying a word. so i do.once there she says: I'm a bad girl and feel very naughty!
you can gess the rest.


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## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

Ummm...I'm not entirely sure that a 'thank-you' is entirely appropriate here. I might be wrong.
I just feel that its a bit like buying your wife a bouquet of flowers because she ironed a shirt for you...isnt that what marriage is supposed to be all about? Helping each other, looking after each other, doing things for each other?

That aside, I would say, give him a BJ and swallow - every mans dream!!! - but you do that anyway so I would suggest just a very simple 'Darling, I've noticed that you are making a real effort, I appreciate it. Thank-you'...look him straight in the eye when you say it......


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Round two with sex? Round two can be a blow job.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

A bj somewhere interesting. In the car, my office, movie theater, bathroom with company over, anywhere new and different and risky.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening strugglingtostaysane
A sexual gift is the best thing, because it is something only you can do for him.

The trick is to figure out what he wants. Has he hinted at any fantasies? There is just so much variation. He might want you to greet him wearing just leather collar and tell him that you are his sex slave for the night - but its just as likely that he would love to be YOUR sex slave for a night.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)




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## Depth.Inside (Jul 5, 2012)

Tons of things... watch youtube and learn to strip for him. Buy something out of the norm and wear it (nurse outfit, black and ****ty, etc). There are also toys that you BOTH enjoy.

There is a vibe that is very low clearance that hugs your pelvic bone. A small part is inserted and you have sex with it in. GOOOOD stuff. You both get to enjoy the vibration. 

My wife did rent a cabin for us once and surprise me. She called my boss and scheduled a day of vacation on a Friday for me and we took a 3-day weekend. I didnt know it was coming. It was supposed to be a sexfest but she is damaged so it didnt work out. That story has SOO much potential. 

If he is into it, you can also video some sex act between the two of you with his phone so when he is alone he can watch it. Ive done that with my wife and enjoy those times off and on during the day when I can pull it up and watch it.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

MyTurn said:


> well,
> I was reading in the living room and wife came in wearing a very sexy babydoll and highheels ,
> just waves to me to follow her in the bedroom without saying a word. so i do.once there she says: I'm a bad girl and feel very naughty!
> you can gess the rest.


You sent her to bed without her dinner?


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## Methuselah (Nov 24, 2014)

Depth.Inside said:


> If he is into it, you can also video some sex act between the two of you with his phone so when he is alone he can watch it.


This has future YouTube posting written all over it...


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## ShutOutbyWife (Jan 22, 2015)

BJ & swallow? What's that. First, let me say there's been many, many times I've done oral sex on my wife (with great pleasure) and she had no problem with me getting all her juices on my face & in my mouth. I enjoyed it. But!!!! She's never, ever let me release in her mouth, or on her face. Ewwwwww, she says! Gee, a bit one-sided there. Plus, I thought if my wife really loved me and desired for me to be completely satisfied, she'd take it all in the mouth. Alas, that's never going to happen. Where are all the good, loving women without tons of emotional baggage?


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

ShutOutbyWife said:


> BJ & swallow? What's that. First, let me say there's been many, many times I've done oral sex on my wife (with great pleasure) and she had no problem with me getting all her juices on my face & in my mouth. I enjoyed it. But!!!! She's never, ever let me release in her mouth, or on her face. Ewwwwww, she says! Gee, a bit one-sided there. Plus, I thought if my wife really loved me and desired for me to be completely satisfied, she'd take it all in the mouth. Alas, that's never going to happen. Where are all the good, loving women without tons of emotional baggage?


LOL why do you think she has emotional baggage just b/c she won't "take it all in the mouth?"

The only time I've ever done that was in the shower when I could immediately rinse my mouth out with a strong stream of water.

Anyhoo, my first thought was one of those sexy photo shoots. They are pricey, though. Would he like that, if you presented with a portfolio of pics of you?


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

ShutOutbyWife said:


> Where are all the good, loving women without tons of emotional baggage?



They're everywhere. But dump your wife first. Then start dating and don't settle for frigid.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

strugglingtostaysane said:


> ...I have been delighted by his efforts and wanted to "reward" him a bit. This is where I need some advice.
> 
> ...I'd just like to do something special to show him that I really do appreciate the work he's been putting into our relationship. Any ideas? What is something you would like as a 'thank you' if it were your significant other asking this question? Specific clothes before sex or certain positions or anything you can think of. Thanks!



May I suggest that you find an alternate sex inventory list. The following is for young people, so also have the two of you take one developed for alternate sexual practices (think 50 Shades...). There is a good one in the book More-gasms.

Yes, No, Maybe So: A Sexual Inventory Stocklist | Scarleteen

The point is this is a perfect time to find out if he has any hidden fantasies and to fulfill them. Tell you H that you love and appreciate him and you want to reward him by doing something that will make him feel really loved and really cherished. You might be surprised to find out that what he really wants is a steak dinner with all the fixings to go with that BJ. 

Personally, if my wife purchased thigh high nylons and a garter belt and pranced around the bedroom like a stripper, then jumped my bones, I would be in heaven, but I am a pretty visual kind of guy.


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## tangled123 (Jan 18, 2015)

strugglingtostaysane said:


> I feel rather silly asking for this kind of advice, but here goes. Recently my husband and I went through a rough patch. We are both dedicated to making changes to improve things though, and I'm starting to see differences already. I have been delighted by his efforts and wanted to "reward" him a bit. This is where I need some advice. We typically have sex once a week (sometimes twice if we're lucky!) and he gets oral about once every week or two. Sometimes the oral is just a prelude to the sex, but sometimes I finish and swallow for him as well. We don't use toys or do anal- neither of us are really into that. Anyhow, I am looking for something new and different than our usual- not that our usual isn't satisfying; I'd just like to do something special to show him that I really do appreciate the work he's been putting into our relationship. Any ideas? What is something you would like as a 'thank you' if it were your significant other asking this question? Specific clothes before sex or certain positions or anything you can think of. Thanks!


Here are some of the things I have done for my H 

Sex:
*BJ*-vary the when, where and how you will do it

You can silently sneak into his shower and give him one and walk out like nothing happened 
Do it while he is watching TV in the living room 
If you have no kids you have lots of possibilities (get creative)

*sensual/sexual massage* and complete it with a Handjob (I will usually make it like he is getting it in a parlour with masseuse and I'll talk like one) use some essential oil candles for the mood if you can

*His sexual fantasies* (if you are comfortable or tolerate it)

There is a lot more we can do but typing them here will be too graphic so I'll stop here

non sexual

Indulging him in his hobby/buying a gift voucher from his favourite shopping place
Cooking his favourite food for a surprise dinner
Giving him off from family and parenting routines to go with his buddies on short trips (if you have kids)
Telling your family what a great H he is during gatherings 


Hmmm...typing these makes me realize I have stopped doing the non-sexual things for a couple of years now as I didn't get half of it back. Its time to resume


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## scrodz (Jan 21, 2015)

This may seem a bit tame, but try putting a blindfold on him.


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

Methuselah said:


> Blow job.


Frequently


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