# heating things up



## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

how would you stir things up in the bedroom department 
Maybe you only do it on certain days of the week, in certain positions and in certain places.

In addition, you think because you know each other so well you know exactly what they like and dislike, but that’s not necessarily the case.

Well, mixing things up can lend a whole new lease of life or so we are told 
to what goes on between the sheets. 
so my question is 

what would you suggest to try and add a spark or two


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

that is a very individual question. depends on the two of you, and what works for others may not be your cup of tea.

but sex toys, lingerie, role play, watching couples porn, sex in unusual places, new sexual positions, slow sensual sex (like tantric orgasms), BDSM. the idea is to mix things up so it seems very new.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Talker67 said:


> that is a very individual question. depends on the two of you, and what works for others may not be your cup of tea.
> 
> but sex toys, lingerie, role play, watching couples porn, sex in unusual places, new sexual positions, slow sensual sex (like tantric orgasms), BDSM. the idea is to mix things up so it seems very new.


I would agree.

I think the challenge is for both partners to be on the same page about it as what one may be interested in (even if just tame) may not be what the other will do. i.e. I would love to have sex on a wide open beach somewhere even if someone saw us and watched but my wife wouldn't do it for fear of getting caught...and possibly arressted (at least here in FL as there aren't many private secluded beaches left). Which is probably good for both of us!


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## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

Small changes. Different times outside your usual routine, good start. Might lead to other things. Don’t get too cray too fast 😂


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

Talker67 said:


> like tantric orgasms


Tantric sex that is a *method of sexual intercourse based on yoga.

the idea sounds nice anyone here into this *


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> I would agree.
> 
> I think the challenge is for both partners to be on the same page about it as what one may be interested in (even if just tame) may not be what the other will do. i.e. I would love to have sex on a wide open beach somewhere even if someone saw us and watched but my wife wouldn't do it for fear of getting caught...and possibly arressted (at least here in FL as there aren't many private secluded beaches left). Which is probably good for both of us!





frenchpaddy said:


> Tantric sex that is a *method of sexual intercourse based on yoga.
> 
> the idea sounds nice anyone here into this *


i was not advocating going all Swami on us.

Just slow it down! Play some new age music softly in the background, light some scented candles, heat up some massage oil, and rub her entire body sensually for about 20 minutes while avoiding the sexual parts, and THEN start having sex!


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

frenchpaddy said:


> how would you stir things up in the bedroom department
> Maybe you only do it on certain days of the week, in certain positions and in certain places.
> 
> In addition, you think because you know each other so well you know exactly what they like and dislike, but that’s not necessarily the case.
> ...


Find an activity check list, and both of you fill it out independently. Then compare forms and try what matches. Go take a class if need be (there are plenty of classes on various types of play that do not necessarily involve nudity).


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Talker67 said:


> that is a very individual question. depends on the two of you, and what works for others may not be your cup of tea.
> 
> but sex toys, lingerie, role play, watching couples porn, sex in unusual places, new sexual positions, slow sensual sex (like tantric orgasms), *BDSM*. the idea is to mix things up so it seems very new.


As a point of information, BDSM has become a catch phrase for pretty much all kink, even if it does not match the original B/D, D/s, and S/M. Age play for example and sexual furry.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

frenchpaddy said:


> what would you suggest to try and add a spark or two


it comes down to know your audience, so for some people it might be quite exciting to share sex with the lights on. Whereas for others the before mentioned suggestion, may be extremely pedestrian.

That said if you’re looking for ideas, perhaps the following may work for you.

When last night while sharing sex with my wife, I asked her to try working on being able to fit all of her fingers in her anus at once, or even her whole hand while we’re in lockdown Since I think that would be hot to see, and would make for some good pictures as well.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Personal said:


> it comes down to know your audience, so for some people it might be quite exciting to share sex with the lights on. Whereas for others the before mentioned suggestion, may be extremely pedestrian.
> 
> That said if you’re looking for ideas, perhaps the following may work for you.
> 
> When last night while sharing sex with my wife, I asked her to try working on being able to fit all of her fingers in her anus at once, or even her whole hand while we’re in lockdown Since I think that would be hot to see, and would make for some good pictures as well.


Yet another great benefit of the pandemic I suppose?!

As I live in Florida where lockdowns won't occur, I am guessing such adventures won't be happening in my bedroom???


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## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

Personal said:


> it comes down to know your audience, so for some people it might be quite exciting to share sex with the lights on. Whereas for others the before mentioned suggestion, may be extremely pedestrian.
> 
> That said if you’re looking for ideas, perhaps the following may work for you.
> 
> When last night while sharing sex with my wife, I asked her to try working on being able to fit all of her fingers in her anus at once, or even her whole hand while we’re in lockdown Since I think that would be hot to see, and would make for some good pictures as well.


Interesting what people have been doing with their time during lockdown. 🤷🏼‍♀️😳


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

maquiscat said:


> As a point of information, BDSM has become a catch phrase for pretty much all kink, even if it does not match the original B/D, D/s, and S/M. Age play for example and sexual furry.


when i say BDSM, i mean one of perhaps 500 different types of sex acts


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## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

Talker67 said:


> when i say BDSM, i mean one of perhaps 500 different types of sex acts


There are 500 different types of sex acts?


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

Talker67 said:


> when i say BDSM, i mean one of perhaps 500 different types of sex acts


that would keep us going for about 15 years there alone


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

Torninhalf said:


> There are 500 different types of sex acts?


 lol
looks like you just got a new interest ,


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## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

frenchpaddy said:


> lol
> looks like you just got a new interest ,


Nope…too old, too tired and am happy with what is in my wheel house.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

frenchpaddy said:


> that would keep us going for about 15 years there alone


Exactly.

now the odds of you BOTH actually LIKING a specific kink are small.
but the list is sooooo long, odds are you two WILL find a couple that really turn you on


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

here is a list of only 50









BDSM Play Ideas: 50 Types of BDSM Activities | Kink Lovers


List of BDSM Activities and all types of BDSM play. Get BDSM ideas for sex and kinky role-play. Learn the different kinds of BDSM games and bondage kinks.




kinklovers.com





and please, on 22) gun play, 
Do NOT use a real gun.
remember, there is no such thing as an "unloaded gun".
get an airsoft


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Talker67 said:


> when i say BDSM, i mean one of perhaps 500 different types of sex acts


Well not all of BDSM is sex acts. Flogging, suspension, electroplay, hot wax play....the list can go on. Sure sex, can be included, or these could be lead ups to sex, but it's not required. I have done plenty of plays with others, and never had sex with them.

The point I was making, however, is that the things currently considered as part of BDSM are no longer limited to Bondage and Discipline (B/D), Dominance and submission (D/s), or Sadism and Masochism (S/M). I gave age play as an example. It has nothing to do with any of those three, in and of itself. Age Players are still considered part of the BDSM community though.

Again, this is all intended as purely informational, as there are many outside the community who do not realize these things.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Talker67 said:


> here is a list of only 50
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Actually a really good a varied list. I like that they noted that different types of play can be part of, or done in conjunction with, other plays. And highly agree with the gun play point.


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

To heat things up in the sack, try this....










To light things on fire (literally) for an experience you've never had before, try this....










(actually, don't)


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

the funny thing is some of the listed kinks we have done or do but never looked on them as kinks ,


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Been with my wife 24 yrs and always went with what you hear about be loving, sensual and gentle. Made some changes in that department and went more dominant in bed. 

I tell her how i want her, if i decide to stand up and she is laying on the bed, i grab her by the ankles and pull her to me on the edge. She likes for me to get a hold of her. Like "i want you now, i will have you now and you have no other choice but to submit to me" " as in i can not control my primal male with her" .

She would not go for bondage, but she likes her arms to be "physically restrained" like i hold her arms above her head. I guess it is about feeling more vulnerable to me and knowing i will not hurt her. She has told me she will do anything i want as she trusts me to not hurt her.

Also how you talk, dirty talk, pet names, ex. Daddy/Baby Girl. 

Started the above things w/in the last year and it sets my wife on 🔥. After 24 yrs this ole dog is always looking for new tricks.


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