# Ever feel boxed in?



## faithfullymarried (Dec 4, 2008)

I've been married almost 6 years, with her for 8....lately I have felt so boxed in...I struggle with depression and I feel the stress of everyday life is really pulling our relationship down. I recently told her I wasn't sure about how much I loved her, it's something I struggled with for over a year and finally decided to tell her to make an effort to solve whatever issue I may have. A week later she told me she was pregnant with our 2nd child....needless to say that wasn't what I wanted to hear! I just feel so entrapped...I feel guilty if I go out with friends to do whatever...and I feel as if i have to explain everything I do and justify my reason for doing so. I have never gone outside our marriage for anything, I've always been faithful.......Is it normal to have these low's in a marriage? Is it just a ruff patch of road in life that is bringing me down and in turn I'm pushing my frustration off on my marriage? I plan to seek marriage counseling because I won't give up "just because". Anyone ever been through this and found a way to be happy again?


----------



## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

Sounds like you need marriage counciling to set boundries.

draconis


----------



## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Marriages do go through rough patches. You are doing the right thing by telling her your feelings, she has the right to know. Also seeking counsel is a great step. Your marriage can improve. Be joyous in the blessing of another child and support your wife through her pregnancy. Pregnancies can bring additional stresses to a marriage as you’ve probably already experienced but it is also a very special time for the expectant mother and father. Plan for the baby with your wife in decorating a room as a way to grow closer. Continue to communicate and take time as a couple. Good luck


----------



## justean (May 28, 2008)

everything needs a balance and guess what you dont have the balance for you.
you have a right to feel trapped but your also doing this to yourself.
your own inner guilt, justifying yourself.
you need to try and re-establish your connection with yourself or you could end up very hateful and live an unhappy life, when you dont need to.
you can improve your life and your marriage.

this is how i look at my life to try and balance it out.

draw a circle and split it into 1/3'ds ( this is your relationship - with whomever)
in one put honesty, the other trust and the other communication.

how i use my circle is -
if one segments is out of balance they affect the other and so on, so you have to re-establish the segment back to its original shape, if something goes wrong in the relationship.

my circles come down to psychology. so i trained my brain ( yep i do have one)

ok then the second circle (this is family life)
put this into quarter sections
1. you go in this one (on your own )
2. time with wife (just you and your wife or whomever)
3. time as a family
4. this section is for one parent and the time with the children.
i.e for me this would be Justean or H spending time with the children without the other spouse. 

i find with you , your very tired with it all and your on a downward slope.
you dont have balance with most of these sections, because you dont know how to regain balance.
but one thing for sure is, your not enjoying your life and thats important to and yes you can do it with a wife and children.
but you need to go out with friends and socialise again and you need to get involved in your interests again.
spend time with your wife on a different day and talk again.
your forgettin how to.
then on a family day , go to the park and hold your wifes hand.
small things really can make a difference.


----------

