# Adult stepdaughter moving back in...



## lamaga

but just for a month!

Then she's apparently moving out for good on July 1, which means I get my extra room and extra closet back.

Why, yes, I know what you are asking yourself. Lamaga, what are you going to do when she doesn't actually move out on July 1?

Shut up .

Yeah, I have thought about that. Beyond crying bitter, salty tears, I don't really know. But sufficient unto the day is the evil therein. I'll deal with June first


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## donewithit

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

sorry lamaga. had to laugh. or i would cry. just kidding.

adult stepson moved back in last april "for a month or two" ...he just got home from work and asked me what I was making for dinner.. 

welcome to my life
Lynn


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## donewithit

and masil.. yes...our son deserves our support he is a great young man. I just wish we could have our naked movie nights again..sigh LMAO


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## lamaga

Masil, you're completely right, and it will be fine. We all have to go home sometimes. Although she's not very respectful to me, but that's something her dad will have to deal with.

Done, OH YES.


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## donewithit

lamaga..just a bit of personal advice..sit down with hubby..tell him how you are wanting to support and be there for the daughter..but you feel disrespected..tell him you NEED him to stand up for you if she is disrepecting you.. 

I know my husband..he would rather bury his head in the sand..but me being upfront with him has made a huge difference..

it is not an easy road. but when we married someone with kids..well you know..it is a group package. 

hopefully yours won't settle in like mine has :rofl:

Lynn


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## OhGeesh

Yall, are all much more loving then me.......lol. NOT A FREAKING OPTION NO WAY NO HOW!!

My oldest is college aged no way she is moving home. I pay her insurance, cell phone, gave her a car, she has no bills but gas no reason why she can't stay in a apartment.

NO moving back period go spread your wings and fly, best of luck, love you tons.

In reality we are really close, but she knew for years at 18 it's time to go either military or college!! The rest will be the exact same way.

In fact when the youngest hits 18 I'm selling the house and getting a small 2 bedroom condo downtown purposely small so no on can move back!!


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## tacoma

This is my greatest nightmare come to pass.



> In fact when the youngest hits 18 I'm selling the house and getting a small 2 bedroom condo downtown purposely small so no on can move back!!


When my 22 year old SS finally moved out after the near destruction of my marriage last October I set to work "remodeling" his room.
Tore the toilet out, drywall and sink gone, carpet ripped out.
It`s a construction zone.

I left it like that for the past year and haven`t touched it a bit.


I know I know, waaayy too passive aggressive but dammit I`m stacking the deck.


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## lamaga

Thanks for all the support, guys! I did have a serious talk with H last night about what I expect and how I want him to support me, and he seemed completely onboard...we'll see. He means well, but it's hard for him to see that she's not completely perfect -- and hey, that's great, he's her dad. But I'm not going to overlook bad behavior,and he'll have to deal with it. Hee.


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## GhostRydr

One of the major things that broke up my first marriage was her 18 yr old son losing yet another job and being kicked out of his apartment for excessive noise complaints from neighbors, etc

Ever see King of Queen? How Doug lost his downstairs "mancave" to Arthur? That was my setup. Just after I bought my first 46in RPTV (the big square deals) and had my sweet setup and bar area rockin'...this loser screws up my life cuz he screwed his up with drinking and partying.

I was hardcore and demanded she employ tough love and he enter a program..she refused cuz he didnt want to and her reasoning was if she kicked him out like I wanted, he'd be on the street.

Well..flash forward 10 yrs and her way produced a meth addicted lost his voice box medical COPD son that she is now stuck with.

Glad I left.


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## lamaga

Ghost, that sounds awful. I'm not facing anything like that -- she's 23, has a steady job, and is getting her own apt on July 1. No, she doesn't lift a finger to wash a dish and she knows everything (hey, just ask her!) but she is basically a good kid.


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## joe kidd

My 19 yr old step daughter moved out 2 mos ago...at her mothers request. That was her second time back home after moving out when she was 18. She was an "adult" so our rules of the house didn't apply to her she thought. 
She begged to come back and swore things would change. Needless to say, they didn't. I really didn't mind her except he refused to clean up after herself and it seemed every morning we would wake up to a sink full of dishes while she slept all day. That and the girl would argue with a stop sign.....good luck lamaga.


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## GhostRydr

lamaga said:


> Ghost, that sounds awful. I'm not facing anything like that -- she's 23, has a steady job, and is getting her own apt on July 1. No, she doesn't lift a finger to wash a dish and she knows everything (hey, just ask her!) but she is basically a good kid.


Im glad she is a good kid. BUT...

1. Unless you have a big enough space where YOU can go and escape for YOUR sanity

2. And make her pay bills

3. *See number 1

4. *See number 1 AGAIN

...then stick to your guns about that leave date.


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## FirstYearDown

OhGeesh said:


> Yall, are all much more loving then me.......lol. NOT A FREAKING OPTION NO WAY NO HOW!!
> 
> My oldest is college aged no way she is moving home. I pay her insurance, cell phone, gave her a car, she has no bills but gas no reason why she can't stay in a apartment.
> 
> NO moving back period go spread your wings and fly, best of luck, love you tons.
> 
> In reality we are really close, but she knew for years at 18 it's time to go either military or college!! The rest will be the exact same way.
> 
> In fact when the youngest hits 18 I'm selling the house and getting a small 2 bedroom condo downtown purposely small so no on can move back!!


I moved back home for a year when I was 24. My arm was broken in two places and I could barely dress myself, let alone work. After a year, I moved out again. I refused to pay my parents rent because they insisted on treating me like a child-constant screaming when I came home late and demanding to meet every man I dated. They also demanded that I pay to fix up my old bedroom when my uncle was the one who destroyed it. 

My parents believe that adult children should stay home until marriage or until they can afford a home. :rofl: Only the youngest is spoiled like that. He is 26 and has a child, yet he lives with my parents who provide free childcare.


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## SunnyT

My poor H.... he's been awesome. When I moved here, I brought my 16 year old PITA with me. Well there were some rough times with that kid, his dad is useless, and H was my rock. Kid straightened up eventually. 

But... My two older sons wanted to move here too, so we said they could stay for a few months. At the same time, my daughter and granddaughter came up for a visit...excited to see her brothers. Her bf told her don't come back. So she stayed. 

The boys moved out (almost a year later), the youngest went to Job Corps when we told him he could not lay around on the couch...and then went into the army. 

My daughter and granddaughter stayed. She REALLY needed some growing up (teen mom) time and guidance. She worked full time and went to nursing school...and I did ALOT of babysitting. In reality, I love love love my grama and I have to think this time was good for the grandbaby too! And H is a positive role model for these girls, just as he is for my boys. Even tho they all think they are so grown, these past 5 years they've been able to see that a real man takes care of his family (even the step family), pays his bills, goes to work, lays down the law with logic, etc... all the things they did not get from their dad. 

In the meantime, H's daughter moved in also. Full time student and works... we don't ask for money for household bills, just car insurance and phones. We just want them to get thru school!!!! She has one more year. 

My daughter and granddaughter moved out a few months ago... got a place with 2 other girls. THIS is what I wanted for her. I want her to have that single time... even if it includes being a single mom. I wanted her to have this independence....and I am happy that she worked hard and got it together. 

Soooooooooooooo..... One more grown kid in the house. And the youngest (21) asked if he can move in for a few months when he gets out of the army next year and we said ya... .come on, get your sh*t together. 

We still have nakey nites.... every chance we get. We have date nite which has been considered sacred since I got here. We have sex every night. Not being able to baby sit is never an issue, because daughter understands that I am doing her a favor... (lol, and I'm only down to Thurs. Sat. & Sun now!....which is still better than almost daily!) 

And we have an awesome blended family. My 5 and his twins are like best friends. Sundays are open-house day.... too many schedules to get the family together, so I cook something in the crock pot and they show up all day. Very laid back, bonding with new(ish) gf's and bf's, plus another grandbaby. 

H and I both told each other... I will help your kid how I can, because I love you.


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