# Oral Sex on Wife-Ever Hear of This One?



## MarriedFor20Years (Sep 28, 2012)

So I posted back in October about how my Wife has no real desire for Sex. Also, The things she has said to me about our love life have been so hurtful that my heart is broken. I am sure many of you know how intimate feelings of love can be crushed with just a few words. So here is what just happened. My wife and I somehow managed to get in bed despite her low libido. Our foreplay is often minimal, and She dislikes my touching her privates with my hand or fingers as she says it's too ticklish. As its so rare that I have a chance to go down on her, which I love to do for her and really enjoy because She tastes so great, I asked for permission. Here's what she said:

"I don't want you to go down on me anymore because your Tongue is so rough and scratchy that it hurts me"

After 20 years of marriage, this came as a shock. My tongue has never been an issue. Now, no tongue, no fingers, just sex in the missionary stle and its over in a few minutes. Now, for the rest of our lives, no more oral. WTF! For sure one of life's pleasures ripped away again without any compassion. Heartbroken again!


----------



## MaybeItsMe? (Oct 26, 2011)

MarriedFor20Years said:


> So I posted back in October about how my Wife has no real desire for Sex. Also, The things she has said to me about our love life have been so hurtful that my heart is broken. I am sure many of you know how intimate feelings of love can be crushed with jusot a few words. So here is what just happened. My wife and I somehow managed to get in bed despite her low libido. Our foreplay is often minimal, and She dislikes my touching her privates with my hand or fingers as she says it's too ticklish. As its so rare that I have a chance to go down on her, which I love to do for her and really enjoy because She tastes so great, I asked for permission. Here's what she said:
> 
> "I don't want you to go down on me anymore because your Tongue is so rough and scratchy that it hurts me"
> 
> After 20 years of marriage, this came as a shock. My tongue has never been an issue. Now, no tongue, no fingers, just sex in the missionary stle and its over in a few minutes. Now, for the rest of our lives, no more oral. WTF! For sure one of life's pleasures ripped away again without any compassion. Heartbroken again!


Are you clean shaven?

I think some woman find more pleasure in power than love and sex and the only thing you can do is remove their power over you. It appears some woman then respect their man and want sex and others just fight extra hard to get the power back until they destroy everything.

Some woman seem to struggle to actually be woman, this is part to do with society pushing that woman should strong and not submissive. I think this then seeps into sex as they find this is them being dominated by a man, this in part is true I suppose. Sex can be a submissive thing, hence the trust needed to have sex with someone.

_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

MaybeItsMe? said:


> Are you clean shaven


Clean shaven? His tongue? Ummmm.... huh? :scratchhead:

OP, no, I'm sorry, that's just completely foreign to me. Only one position, for the rest of your life? Good grief! I couldn't do that! I need more variety than that!


----------



## MaybeItsMe? (Oct 26, 2011)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## MaybeItsMe? (Oct 26, 2011)

I can't believe I'm explaining this....

I am wondering if maybe it's a bristley face that's the issue.

Hey maybe he has the tongue of a cat?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

"Honey, your tongue is just too rough...." Total BS my friend. The I'm too ticklish to be touched is an issue too. Too ticklish is in her head. ie, she got issues with her sexuality or the marriage or something.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

There are big issues in your marriage that she is not talking about. They are coming out in her refusal to engage in your sex life.

Unless you take a strong stance that the two of you work on the marriage this will end up with you not having a sex life at all.


----------



## Michael A. Brown (Oct 16, 2012)

As her husband, you must help him on this matter.


----------



## roostr (Oct 20, 2012)

Im going through the same thing with my wife, it is destroying our marraige as she has no concept on how important these issues are to me. I think her taking an antidepressant has done a lot of damage on her drive. I rulled out other things at least in my mind. Its a shame because other than that we have a good marraige but the things you mentioned are becoming deal breakers for me as I dont want to live the rest of my life deprived either. gl


----------



## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

I will just be blunt,your wife wants it over as quickly as possible,so oral is just adding to her laying there.

Your wife is throwing you crumbs to keep you away for awhile so you will either keep taking that for the rest of your life or you will make a change.


----------



## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

Wives who go non sexual do all sorts of these things. They come up with unsolvable problems... It's totally normal.

You have to go on a journey for the next 6 months.... What you need to do;

-- Figure out what your wife's emotional needs are outside of the bedroom and provide them to her (start here).
-- Teach her what sex means to you as a man in terms of emotional bonding, connecting (currently she thinks you are masturbating in her)
-- Teach her about the concept of marriage involving both parties "giving" and both parties "taking" when it comes to having emotional needs met
-- Offer her a choice as to what kind of wife she wants to be.


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Just a shot in the dark, but is there any chance that your wife is masturbating without your knowledge? Maybe that would explain why she's so sensitive down there.


----------



## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

I think it's BS, but here's a few suggestions...

First, do most of your foreplay with her while she is wearing panties or pajamas. Touch her through clothes before and actual touching of genitals. Even make touching genitals through clothes a lot further down the line in foreplay.

Move from "through the clothes" to touching her bare skin, but only with your hand, while still engaging in kissing and other touching.

You can move to oral, but don't dive in from the high board. Start with her thighs, stomach, butt.

The point is to get her aroused enough that her natural lubrication will smooth out any roughness of your tongue.

But... I still think she's BS'ing you.


----------



## MarriedFor20Years (Sep 28, 2012)

It all makes sense now. I just discovered she had a torrid affair from 2003-2005. What a schmuck I am!


----------



## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

MarriedFor20Years said:


> It all makes sense now. I just discovered she had a torrid affair from 2003-2005. What a schmuck I am!


wow.........ok so what are you going to do about it?


----------



## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

What?????
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

MarriedFor20Years said:


> So I posted back in October about how my Wife has no real desire for Sex. Also, The things she has said to me about our love life have been so hurtful that my heart is broken. I am sure many of you know how intimate feelings of love can be crushed with just a few words. So here is what just happened. My wife and I somehow managed to get in bed despite her low libido. Our foreplay is often minimal, and She dislikes my touching her privates with my hand or fingers as she says it's too ticklish. As its so rare that I have a chance to go down on her, which I love to do for her and really enjoy because She tastes so great, I asked for permission. Here's what she said:
> 
> "I don't want you to go down on me anymore because your Tongue is so rough and scratchy that it hurts me"
> 
> After 20 years of marriage, this came as a shock. My tongue has never been an issue. Now, no tongue, no fingers, just sex in the missionary stle and its over in a few minutes. Now, for the rest of our lives, no more oral. WTF! For sure one of life's pleasures ripped away again without any compassion. Heartbroken again!


She doesn't want to have sex with you. It has nothing to do with your tongue.

I'd begin checking to see if she's worn out from another lover, unfortunately.


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

jaquen said:


> She doesn't want to have sex with you. It has nothing to do with your tongue.
> 
> I'd begin checking to see if she's worn out from another lover, unfortunately.


Welllll..... Jaquen, he did learn of an affair 9 years ago.... so it really isn't much of a stretch to think it could be going on now, as well.


----------



## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> Welllll..... Jaquen, he did learn of an affair 9 years ago.... so it really isn't much of a stretch to think it could be going on now, as well.


Yeah, just finished the thread and saw that he discovered an affair.

Pathetic. Absolutely ****ing pathetic.


----------



## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

And I guess after 9 years she felt the need to dump this on him now after all this rejection???

I hope he changes his New Year resolution!


----------



## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Wow, nice she makes you miserable after deceiving you. What character. You are not a schmuck you are a good man with a lying wife.


----------



## ThinkTooMuch (Aug 6, 2010)

Catherine602 said:


> Wow, nice she makes you miserable after deceiving you. What character. You are not a smuck you are a good man with a lying wife.



Have to agree with Catherine on her view of your spouse.

As Dan Savage says DTMFA - Dump the mother F*** A*** -she has no interest in loving or being loved by you. 

Sex is a big part of relationships, and if she is not interested in you, it is time to move on - there is life after marriage and if she does not want to participate in a large part of your life, either get a divorce or get her explicit permission for you to have an affair. Just remember to practice safe sex until you and your partner(s) are both certain you don't have STDs.

There is a possibility she is bored, has been hiding her kinks (why is 50 shades of gray so popular?) and wants to try something new. If you think this is a possibility, you have little to risk by asking.

I left my wife of 20+ years two years ago after a decade of very sub par sex and sharing. Since then I've had no trouble finding women and learning that several of them really, really enjoy my company. I will withhold details because you would find it hard to believe how much fun and how frequently this 64 yo man is having loving and being loved by the woman I met 20 months ago. If you think only young women enjoy being loved you should know she is four months younger than me. 

Good luck!


----------



## Woddy (Jan 3, 2013)

MarriedFor20Years said:


> It all makes sense now. I just discovered she had a torrid affair from 2003-2005. What a schmuck I am!


I don't mean to sound insensitive..but, did that not cross your mind at all?? No clues whatsoever? 
I read that in your initial post but I'm a woman..and a woman that knows a lot about women that cheat (not I) on friends I know. Refusal of sex of any kind or a certain kind is causing the distance she needs to maintain her emotional tie to the new guy.


----------



## sharkeey (Apr 27, 2012)

MarriedFor20Years said:


> It all makes sense now. I just discovered she had a torrid affair from 2003-2005. What a schmuck I am!


At least she had the consideration to not have you go down on her after she had sex with the other man. That sort of thing happens. 

It's considered by some to be the height of deception.


----------



## Tango (Sep 30, 2012)

I kind of chuckled when I first read this because it brought back some pretty hot memories of me my H when we first got together. He could probably shave every day but he doesn't, and that's fine with me. When we were first getting to know each other like everyone else there's lots of passionate kissing. He hadn't shaved one night and my chin was red the next morning from the "scratchiness". I chuckled because I couldn't imagine him using his chin on my lady parts knowing he could use a shave. To me it would be like using teeth! I hardly think it would tickle. Unless you've got the tongue of a cat......something doesn't right.


----------



## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

I was just going to say she was shutting down, and that these were excuses to get sex over with to avoid your finding out she no longer loves you until she figures out what she's going to do.

I'm sorry.


----------



## MarriedFor20Years (Sep 28, 2012)

thanks for all your advice and thoughts!


----------



## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

MarriedFor20Years said:


> thanks for all your advice and thoughts!


Why don't you react in the other thread? The problem is something very different!


----------

