# I Need Help With the First Minutes Hours Days



## audacia (Apr 27, 2013)

Maybe it's too soon for me to be here. My husband of 32 years just packed and left today. I'm in a horrible emotional mess. I have never felt anything like this in my life. 

I asked him to leave. He has been unfaithful. Many times. I have not been a saint so I can't hang the death of our marriage entirely on him. I can deal with the rational side of things, and will deal more as the days and weeks go by I'm sure. 

But today feels like the scariest most horrible debilitating thing that has ever happened to me. I'm so gripped with fear. I need to know how long this feeling will last so I know I can survive it.


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## mainsqueeze (Apr 10, 2013)

I'm so sorry about your situation. My only advice would be to distract yourself, vent to friends, cry and try to stay strong. I don't know about everyone else, but tearing our marriage apart is the single most painful thing if ever experienced. Try to avoid making sense of things that defy logic. 
Good luck hope it gets better soon.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

It just takes time. As to how much time, only you know that. 

This isn't easy, it's full of ups and downs, but it *can *be done. 

I recently filed to end my 45 year marriage. The divorce will be final this summer. This is certainly not where I thought I would be at this point in my life. I doubt any of us thought we would be here. But here we are.

Right now you need to focus on yourself --- not him. It takes some work but don't give up. 

You can do it.


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## K.C. (Dec 1, 2012)

It isnt too soon to be here. It's never too early.

Unfaithful many times says you're doing the right thing. Sure you have your own issues, they may even be comparable to his.

But what really matters right now is that what you are feeling is perfectly natural. Don't fight it, but dont let it control you either.


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## Dadwithtwolittlegirls (Jul 23, 2012)

I suggest a counsellor to talk to. Mine has helped so much. You need your friends but you also need someone that will help steer you emotions and gives you ways to deal with the stress.

When you go in they normally ask if you have a preference. Tell them you want the oldest most experienced one that they have as they will have a lifetime of skill to help in your case.

DON'T DO THIS ALONE...

Also talk a ton on here.. there is always someone that understands and not judge you.


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## audacia (Apr 27, 2013)

I have been reading and reading here on this site. So many words of wisdom from people who have walked thru the fire. It is amazingly helpful. Often so blunt. But blunt is helpful to me. I'm encouraged by your words. Thank you.


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## Stella Moon (Nov 22, 2012)

audacia said:


> I have been reading and reading here on this site. So many words of wisdom from people who have walked thru the fire. It is amazingly helpful. Often so blunt. But blunt is helpful to me. I'm encouraged by your words. Thank you.


This place will help you get through..keep coming...keep posting...keep expressing. I'm sorry your here...

Gather your closest friends and relatives...a counselor is a must...groups...etc....books...lots of reading...as people here get to know you and your situation you will get recommendations....read read read...

(((Hugs))))

And buy a bat  .....sort of a funny inside joke


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## thisSux (Jan 8, 2013)

Stella put the bat down.....
For me the fact that the mc helped me realise that the reasons I felt I should leave we're valid was the start of moving on. If you know you are on the right road then the dark tunnel ahead is not as scary as it was


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## Regga (Jan 22, 2013)

You are making steps with whatever you do. This feeling you are experiencing changes often. It's moment to moment or day to day. You may decide tomorrow you made a mistake and then be frustrated with the thoughts of reconciliation. I limboed like crazy and was/still am a mess! 
If the fear consumes you, know that the next day will come.
Find quotes that will help you gain confidence. Try to remember the purpose for kicking him out/him leaving: love. If you can't be loved right, you have to love yourself enough to know you deserve happiness and not heartache. One day, you will reflect and understand why you are where you are right now.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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