# Girlfriend wants me to meet her son



## rumple9 (Jan 13, 2012)

I have been dating a nice lady for the last 6 months, We are both 46 and she has a son of 15 and I have a daughter of 16. We were both in long term relationships, both of 21 years although mine ended 5 years ago and hers ended recently in divorce in the last year. I am her first male friend since her divorce, so in some respects I feel she may be on the rebound.

She has told me she loves me and seems desperate for me to meet her son. She wants to meet my daughter also. I don't really want to though as I feel I am getting sucked in. I really enjoy her company - we see each other once per week and go out every time and have a really nice time and this is enough for me.

I'm not really a kid person, I worry her son may not like me, and I have already done all the family thing (which is what I think is what she wants). I realise I am being selfish but I think she sees me as a good role model for her son compared to his dad. Also I have no desire for her to meet my daughter.

Since my split 5 years ago I have dated 2 women with children who have instigated keeping children separate from our dating lives which has been fine by me.


Am I wrong? I don't know what to do. You might say that this is not the right woman for me or what about the future but I'm the sort of person who takes things as they come. I don't feel love towards her yet but that is most likely because I was so hurt/devastated from my long term relationship so my heart is very much guarded now


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## TBT (Dec 20, 2011)

I don't think it's wrong for you if this is the way you feel,but that doesn't necessarily make it right for her as she also has choices to make. Maybe sit down with her and put all your cards on the table honestly.


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

rumple9 said:


> I have been dating a *nice lady* for the last 6 months, We are both 46 and she has a son of 15 and I have a daughter of 16. We were both in long term relationships, both of 21 years although mine ended 5 years ago and hers ended recently in divorce in the last year. *I am her first male friend* since her divorce, so in some respects *I feel she may be on the rebound.
> *
> She has told me she loves me and *seems desperate* for me to meet her son. She wants to meet my daughter also. *I don't really want to though as I feel I am getting sucked in.* I really enjoy her company - *we see each other once per week* and go out every time and have a really nice time and *this is enough for me.
> *
> ...


You need to consider what is bolded in your post. Tell her some of it, but you don't have to tell her that you think she is desperate. If she can't just keep going the same way you have been going and insists on more, perhaps you are not compatible at this time in your lives.


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## cons (Aug 13, 2013)

Sounds like you and she may no longer be a good fit (you both wanting a different type of relationship). It happens. Just deal with it with integrity. Be honest and tell her what you want this relationship to look like. If she wants something different, then you can go your separate ways.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

It's been six months. So you like her enough to sleep with her but not meet her son? You want a friend with benefits. Tell her that so she can move on if she wants more.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

blueinbr said:


> It's been six months. So you like her enough to sleep with her but not meet her son? You want a friend with benefits. Tell her that so she can move on if she wants more.


On point.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

This is just another fork in the road you will come to as you travel away from your divorce. The choice is yours. 
I understand where you are coming from and what you are dealing with. I can't offer you any other advice other than to be true to your self and honest with her.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

OP has not been back since posting.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

I think 6 months is the EARLIEST I would introduce my kid to a partner. For me to do that, I have to feel as if this relationship is going somewhere long term. OP isn't sure about that. No need to get the kids involved. She's more invested than he is and pushing to move forward faster than he's ready (or maybe never). I would tell her that you don't want to introduce kids until you feel there is marriage potential and you aren't there yet; it's simply too soon for you. If she doesn't understand or she wants more/faster, then she can decide.


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## rumple9 (Jan 13, 2012)

Thank you all for your comments especially EnjoliWoman which makes a lot of sense. By the way I find the "friends with benefits" suggestion insulting.


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