# Compatibility in our life cycles



## cocopalm1 (Apr 21, 2013)

Hi I'm new to the forum and I was hoping to get some insight from those more experienced than me. I've been dating my boyfriend for four years--we lived together for one and we are talking about getting married this year. I really love him, he's a really sweet guy, and I care a lot about him, but sometimes I wake up feeling depressed and part of it is our daily cycles. I wake up early on the weekdays and weekends and he gets cranky/mean when he wakes up or refuses to get up. The weekends are really important to me because my work takes up a lot of time during the weekday. We've never had breakfast in the years that we've been dating and I'm sick of trying to wake him up and our day doesn't start until the afternoon and by then I feel like the whole day is gone. I know this sounds really petty...but I don't know what to do. Do I try to work this out? I've tried to talk to him so many times and I don't know what to do anymore...I think this will be an issue if we get married and I don't know if I can take this anymore. Aside from this, he's great, but I just don't know what to do.


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## keepsmiling (Nov 20, 2012)

I lived with my ex for 2 years, and even though we were in our 20s, life still got into a pattern of working, getting up late, not seeing each other, seeing each other too much, me being the only one who would tidy up, cook, and manage the bills. So I guess I know where you're coming from. We broke up for other reasons but the fact he didn't help out with chores was definately one of them. What I suggest to you is to shake things up - you know you're with a good guy or you wouldn't want to marry him! If both of you try doing different things separately and together, you'll enjoy life a bit more. Keeping things fresh like this is what people have to do to keep their marriages thriving. Think of hobbies you used to like but maybe haven't done in a while, and if there are things you want to do that he's not interested in, just go by yourself for some you time or with a friend. Best wishes


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## relationshipsguide_gal (Apr 6, 2013)

Dearest, it does sound 'petty'. if you really love the guy you will accept him even if he's not such a morning person  My advice is for you to not to try to change him at all. Don't set your expectations high because the more you expect from him, the more you will just get hurt. Just let it go dear and focus on his good side. Nobody's perfect anyways. I'm sure you'll find a way to adjust. Don't forget to tell him honestly how you feel (in a non-threatening way). Seek compromise. Warm wishes, mae


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## gardengirl (Apr 18, 2013)

*Re: Re: Compatibility in our life cycles*



relationshipsguide_gal said:


> Dearest, it does sound 'petty'. if you really love the guy you will accept him even if he's not such a morning person  My advice is for you to not to try to change him at all. Don't set your expectations high because the more you expect from him, the more you will just get hurt. Just let it go dear and focus on his good side. Nobody's perfect anyways. I'm sure you'll find a way to adjust. Don't forget to tell him honestly how you feel (in a non-threatening way). Seek compromise. Warm wishes, mae


This is fantastic... 

For about the first 6 months of the relationship.

Once you get to the point of thinking of marriage, think LONG AND HARD on how compatible your lives are, and any irritants you have in your relationship. Minor things now can really balloon years down the road, and they often are minor things that grew into resentments.

The biggest aspects, I believe, of a successful relationship are communication, and willingness to work on self. If your guy has these too, you guys can work through this. If one of you does not, you would be foolish to marry.


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## cocopalm1 (Apr 21, 2013)

Thank you so much for all your words of advice!!! I was expecting it to be the end of the world...but I found this really encouraging and helpful...communication, compromise, and willingness to do things independently and on self...Thank you for sharing with me~


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## firefly789 (Apr 9, 2013)

My H was the morning person in our relationship, I was not. Still, to this day, a good weekend is me sleeping in. But, now me sleeping in on the weekend is about till 9:00. I now work out in the mornings. I work out at 6:00 a.m. I have to wake up to get to the gym at 5:20 a.m. The first time I did this I didn't even tell my H. I just kissed him goodbye and told him I was going to they gym. Otherwise, I knew he's just laugh.

You are young (I assume). People change over time. I was such a night owl. Now, as a woman, I have to work out in the a.m. or I am just too tired after full-time work. How is he about everything else? Is he responsible? Helpful around the house? Caring?


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