# Ladies, Do You Use Sex To Manipulate Your Husband?



## Still Learning (Aug 12, 2011)

I'm a man in my forties and I had a conversation with a female friend who is my age a couple of days ago. I asked - innocently - "When men talk about having fun, it usually involves sex. When women talk about having fun, it rarely involves sex. Why?" My friend answered that women have to withhold sex and use it to control and manipulate their men; if they "gave it away" all the time, their man wouldn't appreciate them as much. So women withhold sex to simply control their man.

Ladies, I'm really curious: How many of you use sex to manipulate your man?


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I never withhold sex unless 1) I'm sick or 2) I'm in pain (female issues). Other than that, I'm good to go. If we're irritated with each other, then it's passionate, angry sex.  

I swore I'd never withhold sex from my husband, and he swore that to me as well. We don't use sex as a bargaining chip. I do it all....BJs, every position, etc and he pleases me how I need him to.

Our sex life has always been great.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

My wife uses sex to manipulate me into getting an erection all the time.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

When I talk about fun it involves sex. No withholding here.


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## dojo (Jul 4, 2011)

I never did this either. We're getting along wonderfully most of the time and even if we argue, it's done in 2 minutes and we don't keep a grudge. As for sex, am always in the mood, except for those days in the month. But we're getting enough action so that it doesn't matter that for 5 days I'm not in the 'mood'.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

My wife has never said no. been married for 34 years. Then again neither have I. Its been agreement with us since before we got married. She is the end all be all of wives! What a woman!!!!!


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

No I use food. He not down with using sex for anything other than an intimate connection or for just fun.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Amp i think you are being used for sex ;o}
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

No of course not. In fact when she has sex it's one of those freakish instances she forgets her role is to be an angry withholding harpy.


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## SepticChange (Aug 21, 2011)

Still Learning said:


> I'm a man in my forties and I had a conversation with a female friend who is my age a couple of days ago. I asked - innocently - "When men talk about having fun, it usually involves sex. When women talk about having fun, it rarely involves sex. Why?" My friend answered that women have to withhold sex and use it to control and manipulate their men; if they "gave it away" all the time, their man wouldn't appreciate them as much. So women withhold sex to simply control their man.
> 
> Ladies, I'm really curious: How many of you use sex to manipulate your man?


No. He may think that but if I don't want to have sex because of something he did then it's because I'm not in the mood. I can't just have sex at any time...I can't when I'm upset. So for me if he did something and I refuse to get close he might think I'm trying to punish him but I'm not. I only have sex when I'm happy. Keep me happy and I'll get naked!


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

Nope, no man or woman should do that.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

No, but I am pretty sure my husband used it in many different ways to manipulate me. :-( Nobody should use a legitimate human need or function to control another person. It is wrong. If you can't get what you need by asking your partner for it or just having it given to you, manipulation of any kind is going to put you either up the creek or backed up against a wall.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Still Learning said:


> I'm a man in my forties and I had a conversation with a female friend who is my age a couple of days ago. I asked - innocently - "When men talk about having fun, it usually involves sex. When women talk about having fun, it rarely involves sex. Why?" My friend answered that women have to withhold sex and use it to control and manipulate their men; if they "gave it away" all the time, their man wouldn't appreciate them as much. So women withhold sex to simply control their man.
> 
> Ladies, I'm really curious: How many of you use sex to manipulate your man?


Nope, never have used sex or will in the way that you have stated. That is totally repugnant to me.

If I use sex in any way at all, it is to try and build a better and deeper connection with my husband - by trying to meet his sexual needs in our marriage.

So, I guess I am the opposite - I am not going to withhold at all - I will gladly "give it away" to him as much as possible. It makes our life and marriage so much better, and he appreciates me all the more for it. 

Too bad your female friend (and it sounds like maybe a great many other women) haven't figured it out yet.


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

This type of woman values power over love. It is sad that she would stomp on her husband's heart by recognizing where he is most vulnerable.


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## MissLayla1986 (Aug 27, 2010)

I don't think I could do that even if I wanted to. I want sex every bit as much as he does ;-)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sameold (Aug 11, 2011)

Yeah, sometimes--if I want him off the computer now! Amazing how fast that computer can shut off if I'm sitting on his lap.

Er, you meant withholding sex? Nah.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Yes everyone does. And everyone lies about it.


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## MissLayla1986 (Aug 27, 2010)

Runs like Dog said:


> Yes everyone does. And everyone lies about it.


I guess it depends on age. My husband and I are in our 20's and both of us are up for sex anytime, day or night. But when couples have kids and hit middle age, the dynamics change, and that affect the ways in which they view sex. Husbands begin to view sex as more of a stress reliever, whereas wives begin to view sex as one more thing they have to worry about. Hence the tendency to use it as a bargaining chip.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

MissLayla1986 said:


> Husbands begin to view sex as more of a stress reliever.


with all due respect, thats quite a generalization. i am a husband, 50 years old, i just want to be intimate with the woman i love and committed to 21 years ago. not another woman. its not just a stress relief


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

It was funny...I was at a garage sale last week, looking at some lingerie this lady had on her table, she comes over & says "these come in pretty handy when you need something, if you know what I mean, like a little cash" -- I just looked at her , laughed and said " If put something like that on, money is not what I have on my mind " Ha ha, I could have had a really interesting conversation with her but I let it go at that. So there was a manipulator.

I don't do this but true, back in the day, maybe a handful of times to get my way on something I REALLY wanted but he was hesitant , I would throw in a "if you do this for me, I will give you a BJ later" - I always kept my word, never finished him off , but it always led into having sex so I don't think he really minded too awful much. 

MY manipulation these days would only be to get HIM in bed- with me.  Nothing I want more than that. He enjoys my manipulation.


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