# When does life get better????



## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

So, I'm in one of my crazy venting moods, and I just feel like spilling all my crap out here, get it off my chest.

I'm having one of the moments where I'm like "when does my life get freakin' better, and how much worse can it get". Looks like I'll have to take my son out of daycare at the end of the month and keep him home with me until he starts kindergarten in the Fall. In theory, it's ok. But how the hell am I supposed to get a job now? ugh, it's like it never ends, I was in tears this morning when the daycare owner basically said that she gave me two months leaway, and cannot any longer. I understand her position. I pay 400.00, it's expensive.

So, I have two weeks to find a job, nothing like more stress to add to my life.

I think I've been paid back for the sh*t I've caused in my relationship, but maybe I need more hardship thrown my way just to add some icing to the cake.

fun times

thanks for listening lol


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## justwhy (Dec 7, 2011)

what about child support?


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

> I think I've been paid back for the sh*t I've caused in my relationship, but maybe I need more hardship thrown my way just to add some icing to the cake.


This is the definitely a wrong way to look at the things.. I am not sure what to tell you and wish I could give you a better advice but what you are feeling is definitely not right.


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

justwhy said:


> what about child support?


I don't get any, and he has no money to give me. He was a genius and rented an expensive apartement.

I guess I could get a couple of hundred out of him, but what a fight it would be.


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

warlock07 said:


> This is the definitely a wrong way to look at the things.. I am not sure what to tell you and wish I could give you a better advice but what you are feeling is definitely not right.


Don't they talk about the karma bus hitting WS's, yep, I guess it does happen.


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## justwhy (Dec 7, 2011)

working_together said:


> I don't get any, and he has no money to give me. He was a genius and rented an expensive apartement.
> 
> I guess I could get a couple of hundred out of him, but what a fight it would be.


Let the courts handle that, they don't care about his living expensive it's basic on his income not what he spend it on


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

working_together said:


> I don't get any, and he has no money to give me. He was a genius and rented an expensive apartement.
> 
> I guess I could get a couple of hundred out of him, but what a fight it would be.



It's not about what you've done, this is about what's best for your child. Getting a job and being to get day care while you work is what's best long term for your child.

Get your lawyer to draw up a child support petition or agreement ASAP


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

Yeah, I guess I'll have to go to legal aid this week, not looking forward to the lashing I'm going to get, he's going to hate me even more than he already does.

Maybe I'll work the streets.....kidding


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## justwhy (Dec 7, 2011)

let him hate you & you feed your kid...good luck


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Discuss it with him. maybe he will understand. You are not spending stuff for your own luxuries. The kids come first. Discuss the issue of daycare first. You can sacrifice all you want out of guilt but understand the scenario here. They are his kids too. You will not be able to support them with out a job. So until you find a convenient job, you might have to trouble him but it can't be helped.


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

warlock07 said:


> Discuss it with him. maybe he will understand. You are not spending stuff for your own luxuries. The kids come first. Discuss the issue of daycare first. You can sacrifice all you want out of guilt but understand the scenario here. They are his kids too. You will not be able to support them with out a job. So until you find a convenient job, you might have to trouble him but it can't be helped.


I spoke to him today, he called (as usual) asking how our little guy was, he was crying this morning and didn't want to go to daycare, something that's happened since ahole had an argument with the daycare lady. I calmed him down while the idiot stood on like a nimrod. yeah, I'm in a harsh mood today. So he asks how I'm doing..."not very well", then told him the news. He didn't care, and said "oh well, you save $400.00 a month now), I then said "yeah, how the hell do I find a job then"...no response except "I just called to see how son is doing", in other words "I don't give a rats ass". So now when I get called in to do a replacement shift, what happens, I doubt he'll leave work early to watch him for the day. I also do some work at lunch time at my daughter's school, guess that's out the window now too. He's like "you're still $100.00 a head", he doesn't get it.....because I make $300.00/mo at the school.

So, I guess I will be setting up some damn strong boundaries from now on, and he will not get anything out of me except in regards to the kids, no chit chat any longer. And if he harrasses me, I'll get a restraining order.

Phew.... back to sending resumes


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Working today












or this


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

But more seriously, I think he is acting like a single guy with minimal family responsibility. And with taking care of the kids most of the time and a full time job, you won't even have time for dating


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

warlock07 said:


> Working today
> 
> 
> 
> ...



awwww, even when they're mad and hissing they're still so cute. I love kittens, I have this cute pic of one of mine when he was a kitten on my back, so cute.

ps. you know what I like about cats....they don't talk. lol


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

File for child support on this ass.

Child support is the least he can do. Calling to see how the boy is doing is stupid. that's his way of not feeling guilty ..."Well, at least I called."

Screw him. It's about the kid, not punishing you.


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

warlock07 said:


> But more seriously, I think he is acting like a single guy with minimal family responsibility. And with taking care of the kids most of the time and a full time job, you won't even have time for dating


Ya think?

I applied for an out of Province job, actually only an hour from my place. The money is about 50,000, I was postponing that because of the distance, but not much of a choice, and I guess I could afford to hire someone to pick up kids from school and daycare depending on when I would get home. Ex applied for the job years ago, didn't get it. He actually applied for my old job twice and was refused, was he furious. Boo hoo

I'm not going to mediation right now, he wants me to agree to things I'm not ready to.

-not leaving the province with the kids (doubt I would anyway)
-agreeing to no support, just activities
-agreeing to 50/50 custody....no freaking way (lol) I laughed so hard, how the hell would he manage that? his way of avoiding paying support.


My sister and her b/f advised me not to sign anything. They seriously question why I would consider allowing him even 60/40. They've heard him yell at the kids (I was not home), and they cringed. 

I read up on the laws in my province, it looks favorable for me to get full custody. The longer that they are with me alone, the more they won't disturb the situation...hence I'm waiting it out.

Working is not getting sh*t on any longer...

As for dating....:rofl: I don't care really, tried it, guy was an idiot, I don't care if he had 2 BMW's, a sports car, and oodles of money....It didn't impress me much. I've lost faith in the male species.


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## justwhy (Dec 7, 2011)

what do he help you with?
child support is a must even if you share 50/50...


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

justwhy said:


> what do he help you with?
> child support is a must even if you share 50/50...


He doesn't help with much. He's given me a little bit of money here and there, and wants a receipt for it. In total maybe 150.00 in 7 weeks.

He's going to be surprised next year when he doesn't claim the kids as dependents. He claimed them this year, and we're going half on the return.


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## justwhy (Dec 7, 2011)

you have to be kidding.. I would tell him, you have pay the daycare bill or see you in court. 

My son daycare is the same $ and I make him pay it to the school directly!!


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

> I'm not going to mediation right now, he wants me to agree to things I'm not ready to.
> 
> -not leaving the province with the kids (doubt I would anyway)
> -agreeing to no support, just activities
> -agreeing to 50/50 custody....no freaking way (lol) I laughed so hard, how the hell would he manage that? his way of avoiding paying support.


Without going back to read your threads or get a better idea of what your H is doing I will base my comment on the surface:

If he is asking for 50/50 unless you have a documented expert history on why he is a bad father the court will grant 50/50 because it generally is in the best interest for kids to have both their parents... if you show he is bad the court may require him to take the parenting course. Also note that it is considered shared custody even up to 60/40.

And of course it only makes sense that he wouldn't want you to move out of the province and take his kids with you, courts would probably grant that if its a shared custody arrangement.

Courts will also order child support no matter what you agree to, based entirely on income levels... activities and extras (including daycare fees and such) will be based on the proportion of incomes... if he makes 50% more than you he will pay 20% more than you for those activities (ie he will pay 60% you pay 40%).


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

warlock07 said:


> But more seriously, I think he is acting like a single guy with minimal family responsibility. And with taking care of the kids most of the time and a full time job, you won't even have time for dating


This sounds like how my friends refer to my husband and my situation. 

Go to legal aid. Demand what you deserve for child support let hims get a second job to afford his expensive apt!


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

Mamatomany said:


> This sounds like how my friends refer to my husband and my situation.
> 
> Go to legal aid. Demand what you deserve for child support let hims get a second job to afford his expensive apt!


Yeah, I know, I have to do it.

Looks like he got all proactive on me and called a mediator. He wanted to know if I was available on Friday morning...lol. Of course I'm available, where else am I going to be?? So I told him what I decided to not agree with. I guess girlie was there because he was very calm, didn't say much. I basically told him that I'm not giving 50/50 if I pay the daycare, pay for all their clothes, school feels etc. When he feeds them and that's it. He was silent about that and then all of sudden said he would pay half the daycare. Cool, I'm down with that, then he wavers again, and says whatever the mediator figures out according to a scale. I told him that I would prefer a monthly amount rather than paying for activities, at least until I have a job. He can't guarantee he will have the money for all their activities (1200.00 yr), not that much really. I added that I have to have a guarntee that money will be available for them. He weirdly enough agreed, that makes me worried, he never agrees, he's got something up his sleeve.

So, Friday will be the first meeting, it's not going to go well, I can feel it. But I'm optimistic that in the end my kids will get what they need.

How ya doing??


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## justwhy (Dec 7, 2011)

You are a sweet heart.. because you are willing to negotiate. I would go with my gut, he seems out of touch about the kids financial. I would not negotiate until i knew all i'm entitled too because your kids are still young and down the road it will be something else.


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