# Any other men like their women just the right amount of ****ty?



## marriageontherocks2 (Oct 4, 2017)

I wouldn't want a woman who had 100 partners, but I also wouldn't want a virgin or woman skittish of sex and only a few partners. I like women with just the right amount of ****ty, maybe had a **** buddy in the past, drunken 3-some in college, some one night stands.

I see a lot of men pining for virgins or very chaste women before marriage, but I'm the opposite, I love hearing about my wife's past sexual escapades (and she does vice versa), and while sex right now is routine, that's due to the rough patch we're in, when it was good, it was great, and I think that's due to her learning to enjoy sex in her youth.

Am the only one like this? Do men who say they want a woman with no past partners or only a few lovers mean it? Or is it just their ego and frustration with past experiences with women? or maybe they feel inadequate if she's been with a bunch of other men and insecurity sets in? Or maybe they're repressing the fact that they really like the idea of her being a little ****ty, doesn't fit the mold and makes them uncomfortable?


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I want a woman who enthusiastically enjoys sex and is willing and eager to experiment. Doesn't matter how many partners she has had, but I think a woman who enjoys sex is statistically more likely to have had multiple partners than one who doesn't.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Well I am female and married to a man who has only had sex with me and his ex wife, and I love that. I would have no interest in a man who thought that sex was more of a casual activity, or who had any interest in sex with anyone outside the marriage, nor would he with a woman.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

uhtred said:


> I want a woman who enthusiastically enjoys sex and is willing and eager to experiment. Doesn't matter how many partners she has had, but I think a woman who enjoys sex is statistically more likely to have had multiple partners than one who doesn't.


I think you are very wrong. Having many partners doesnt mean you like sex more. It just means that you see it as more of a casual activity than something for a committed long term relationship. There is no better sex than with someone you love and are committed to.


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

I don't care how many guys a woman has been with and I don't ask. I also don't care what she's done in the past since it has no impact on what we'll do together. At my age finding a virgin would be about as likely as finding a unicorn, so I don't even think about it or value it.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I'd think a woman who doesn't enjoy sex isn't going to have a lot of partners - no motivation for her (or at least no sexual motiviation). A woman who enjoys sex at least might have a motivation to have lots of sex. 


I'm talking averages, not every case.




Diana7 said:


> I think you are very wrong. Having many partners doesnt mean you like sex more. It just means that you see it as more of a casual activity than something for a committed long term relationship. There is no better sex than with someone you love and are committed to.


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

uhtred said:


> I'd think a woman who doesn't enjoy sex isn't going to have a lot of partners - no motivation for her (or at least no sexual motiviation). A woman who enjoys sex at least might have a motivation to have lots of sex.
> 
> 
> *I'm talking averages, not every case*.


Sorry @Diana7 only deals in absolutes or so it seems.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

If we had it to do over again, Mrs. C and I would have met as well educated virgins.

I am pretty hard-core and could easily have a good relationship with an ex prostitute or porn star as long as her values had changed and she was devoted to me.

However, I wish I would have waited and My wife does as well.

We both had a lot of experience, me more so, but it got in the way more than anything and we had to learn each other as we were both different than anyone else we had been with.

I'm not in the least worried or insecure about a woman with experience nor am I biased against her. Just wish we had made different decisions.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Red Sonja said:


> Sorry @Diana7 only deals in absolutes or so it seems.


Not at all. 
Not having lots of sex with lots of people means nothing. I know many women who have only had sex with their committed partners who have great relationships/sex. My husband loves sex, he still waited till he married at 25.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

I refuse to believe anybody on these boards digs sex more than I.

I waited for my wife (married at 22).

Of course, that also comes with its own set of problems.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> I refuse to believe anybody on these boards digs sex more than I.
> 
> I waited for my wife (married at 22).
> 
> Of course, that also comes with its own set of problems.


Can't stand the stuff myself. >


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## JayDee7 (Sep 12, 2017)

No, many sex partners and wild experiences usually means self issues lurks my beneath. I like her to be ****ty for me, not for everyone else if that makes sense.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*For as long as she loves me exclusively, and I her; and as long as she enjoys and relishes her sexuality in my presence, never fearing anything that it has to offer!

That's what loving sex is all about and what I absolutely yearn for!!*


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## thefam (Sep 9, 2014)

Diana7 said:


> Not at all.
> Not having lots of sex with lots of people means nothing. I know many women who have only had sex with their committed partners who have great relationships/sex. My husband loves sex, he still waited till he married at 25.


I would agree with this. Although I only had sex with my husband I wish I had waited until marriage. I allowed him to pressure me into sex before marriage and I admit I rug-swept my resentment about that (we did deal with it later) but me having no sexual experience besides the totally vanilla sex before marriage has not dampened our sex life at all. In fact the older I get the kinkier I get and it really keeps things interesting


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

The original post is rubbish.

Doesnt matter how many partners one has had in determining ones enjoyment, desire, and how adventurous one is when it comes to sex.

My wife is my only and I am FAR more adventurous and have a much higher drive than her. She had multiple partners and if Im being honest she was a bit of a bore early on in our relationship and marriage when it came to sex.

That all being said it partners just need to be on the same page when it comes to sex. Some like Diana7 feel strongly about waiting for marriage. Others not so much.


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## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

****ty, but just for me.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> I know many women who have only had sex with their committed partners who have great relationships/sex.


Just being honest, but they have nothing else to compare it to. What they THINK is 'great' sex may only be mediocre sex, at best. 

It's kind of like only eating vanilla cake for 30 years and thinking it's the best - til you taste carrot cake. :grin2:


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Just being honest, but they have nothing else to compare it to. What they THINK is 'great' sex may only be mediocre sex, at best.
> 
> It's kind of like only eating vanilla cake for 30 years and thinking it's the best - til you taste carrot cake. :grin2:


Sex with the one you love and are committed to is the best.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

I think when it comes to sexual past / experience, you just shouldn't be a hypocrite. For example, stating you only want someone who has slept with very few people or has had very limited sexual experiences, meanwhile you have slept with an entire football team (or cheerleading squad). 

I personally would not have a lot of interest in someone who approached sex very casually and racked up a large number, but that has more to do with the fact that they wouldn't necessarily line up with my views. I don't hold it against anyone or think they are a bad person, Just like any other area of a relationship, you typically try to find someone who shares similar values.


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## thefam (Sep 9, 2014)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Just being honest, but they have nothing else to compare it to. What they THINK is 'great' sex may only be mediocre sex, at best.
> 
> It's kind of like only eating vanilla cake for 30 years and thinking it's the best - til you taste carrot cake. :grin2:


LOL! But naw. It ain't hard to know when the sex is good.

Your example is like comparing carrots to cucumbers.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

thefam said:


> LOL! But naw. It ain't hard to know when the sex is good.
> 
> Your example is like *comparing carrots to cucumbers*.


It always comes back to size...


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

uhtred said:


> but I think a woman who enjoys sex is statistically more likely to have had multiple partners than one who doesn't.


I guess it depends. I knew quite a few women who had a lot of partners, and it wasn't necessarily b/c they liked sex more than other women as it was they felt like they needed to have sex to get or keep the guy interested.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

EllisRedding said:


> I guess it depends. I knew quite a few women who had a lot of partners, and it wasn't necessarily b/c they liked sex more than other women as it was they felt like they needed to have sex to get or keep the guy interested.


I dunno. I mean--I eat a lot of burgers, and frequent many different burger establishments. I could say it's because they're convenient and affordable, but the truth is--I just really like burgers.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Fozzy said:


> I dunno. I mean--I eat a lot of burgers, and frequent many different burger establishments. I could say it's because they're convenient and affordable, but the truth is--I just really like burgers.


Hopefully you aren't talking about veggie burgers ... :loser:


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

thefam said:


> LOL! But naw. It ain't hard to know when the sex is good.
> 
> Your example is like comparing carrots to cucumbers.





EllisRedding said:


> I guess it depends. I knew quite a few women who had a lot of partners, and it wasn't necessarily b/c they liked sex more than other women as it was they felt like they needed to have sex to get or keep the guy interested.


The driving factors behind why a person wants sex is pretty important. My wife is more as you describe here. While she does enjoy sex for sex's sake, her high partner count is largely due to pressure or feelings of expectations.


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

samyeagar said:


> It always comes back to size...


Didnt grow any carrots this year. But some of the cucumbers? :surprise: No way if I was a woman. :wink2:


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

EllisRedding said:


> Hopefully you aren't talking about veggie burgers ... :loser:


I don't even acknowledge their existence.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Red Sonja said:


> Sorry @Diana7 only deals in absolutes or so it seems.


And as such, she is an anomaly on TAM. Not the absolute part...many posters see out of [only] one of their bifocals.
Many here are set in their ways, as is she.
She is a traditional and a conservative. Works for me, most of the time.

Now, that being said....*she does not agree with me very often. Who does?*
I know one who does, she is my Secret Valentine.
I cannot mention her name, the Red Queen will have her head.
Ah, such a nice head it is. So smart and so wise and so........

That said, I like the opinions of younger women like Diana7. :grin2::grin2:

Sorry @MattMatt....wrong gender.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Fozzy said:


> I don't even acknowledge their existence.


Yeah. "Veggie burgers" is an oxymoron.


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## Handy (Jul 23, 2017)

I don't know if "more experience" is a good thing in all or most cases. I do think some women feel they have to have sex to keep a guy. I know from some group therapy, certain religious practices influenced several women and a few men to internally feel sexual but they suppressed those feelings for a very long time and were just beginning to feel they were shamed into not being sexual and it still is a problem. 

OTH, feeling guilty because of partner count can have its negative consequences. Lots of partners can also have A HIGHER HPV risk factor.

Edit
I also think men and women like being liked and if you (generic) like them too, THEN the SEX HAPPENS. 

I was told way too often, buys want to get the girl naked and have sex. What I have learned is the girls also want to be wanted and biological drives influence the girls to want sex and to be wanted.

Just count all of the posts from mostly men, but women too, saying they want sex but more importantly they want to be wanted.

So, in many cases more sex might equal more variety of sex, it also sometimes has a cost. 

Sometimes someone that is "good at sex" has children and the "good at sex" disappears.


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

Fozzy said:


> I don't even acknowledge their existence.


That's cos you are a Muppet :x


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Diana7 said:


> Sex with the one you love and are committed to is the best.




You don’t know that if you haven’t tried the alternative. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

thefam said:


> LOL! But naw. It ain't hard to know when the sex is good.
> 
> 
> 
> Your example is like comparing carrots to cucumbers.




That’s true when you consider that “good” is relative to your expectations. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

MrsHolland said:


> That's cos you are a Muppet :x


I love veggies. Just not when they're pretending to be something they aren't. :wink2:


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

She can love sex frequently and in various forms, initiate and be creative, and not have a high partner count. Enough to have learned the range of what she likes and wants, and what different men like. When my wife and I met after long first marriages, we'd each only had a handful or so of past partners - enough to know great sex from good (or bad) sex, and have a foundation of skills and knowledge to build on.

I think it's possible to have only one partner, and still have great sex, but it requires dedication to experimentation and researching the range of possibilities, to see what may be appealing and worth trying. But, that mindset may be rare, IMO. I've had sex with women who've only had one or two previous partners, and they were seriously lacking in skill and range. To be fair, some more experienced women were also lacking in skill, but had a greater range of activities they enjoyed.


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

Diana7 said:


> Sex with the one you love and are committed to is the best.


You're right AND you're wrong!

If you've only ever been with one person, sexually, you have no way of knowing if it's, truly, good sex or not.

I get where you're coming from, totally. It took me 33 years to experience _actual_ good sex. I thought I was having, or had, good sex before. I didn't know better, honestly. I loved my ex wife and was committed to her - which made the sex good and had me coming back for more.

I also love and am committed to my current wife. But. The sex is night and day - and it has nothing to do with loving her more, or that she's "the one".

At the time, I thought my ex wife and I were pretty good in bed. It was better than any previous experiences I had. And I loved her. If you asked me then, I would have said our sex life was great, fabulous, couldn't be better.

All of that was true - from a certain point of view. I was happy, and probably still would have been happy if we stayed together. So that's where you're right.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

WorkingOnMe said:


> You don’t know that if you haven’t tried the alternative.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Both of us were in long first marriages, so yes we do. A true and deep love is vital for me in sex. otherwise its pointless.


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

Diana7 said:


> Both of us were in long first marriages, so yes we do. A true and deep love is vital *for me* in sex. otherwise its pointless.


I suspect your posts would not generate half as much negative response if you acknowledged the two bolded words more frequently.


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

The activity level is much less important to me than the motivation for it. A woman who had many sex partners in the past because she was adventurous and enjoyed sex would be seen in a positive light. If she had a lot of partners because she was insecure, needy and used sex as a way to validate herself...that would be a problem for me. 

All things being equal, "I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints, the sinners are much more fun."


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

zookeeper said:


> I suspect your posts would not generate half as much negative response if you acknowledged the two bolded words more frequently.


She's like a child who insists she hates a vegetable she's never tasted.


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

WorkingOnMe said:


> She's like a child who insists she hates a vegetable she's never tasted.




Oooooh. Good one. *thumbs up*


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> zookeeper said:
> 
> 
> > I suspect your posts would not generate half as much negative response if you acknowledged the two bolded words more frequently.
> ...


That's not an apt analogy at all. She doesn't need to "try" anything. She's speaking for herself and has great sex with her husband and knows that's the only kind of sex she would enjoy. There are some things we know about ourselves without needing to experience it.

I know I wouldn't enjoy group sex. I do not need to experience it to know this. My body just doesn't work that way. Diana knows her body wouldn't work for anyone she wasn't in love with and committed to. 

There are posts of hers which seem to sound like her way should be the way for all and I don't agree with that either. But that's actually a different thing than whether she should try something other than what she knows is her only way to achieve intimacy.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Quantity and quality are not the same thing


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> I know I wouldn't enjoy group sex.


Or Brussels sprouts!!!


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Faithful Wife said:
> 
> 
> > I know I wouldn't enjoy group sex.
> ...


Actually I love them when they are prepared right. Yum! When they aren't ugh, help me god.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> Actually I love them when they are prepared right. Yum! When they aren't ugh, help me god.


Bacon and just a tiny bit of maple syrup. Well, not since I've gone keto...now it's just avocado oil, salt and pepper. But still good.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Faithful Wife said:
> 
> 
> > Actually I love them when they are prepared right. Yum! When they aren't ugh, help me god.
> ...


As long as you don't overcook them, the keto version sounds amazing.

And absolutely never ever any frozen ones.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

marriageontherocks2 said:


> I wouldn't want a woman who had 100 partners, but I also wouldn't want a virgin or woman skittish of sex and only a few partners. I like women with just the right amount of ****ty, maybe had a **** buddy in the past, drunken 3-some in college, some one night stands.
> 
> I see a lot of men pining for virgins or very chaste women before marriage, but I'm the opposite, I love hearing about my wife's past sexual escapades (and she does vice versa), and while sex right now is routine, that's due to the rough patch we're in, when it was good, it was great, and I think that's due to her learning to enjoy sex in her youth.
> 
> Am the only one like this? Do men who say they want a woman with no past partners or only a few lovers mean it? Or is it just their ego and frustration with past experiences with women? or maybe they feel inadequate if she's been with a bunch of other men and insecurity sets in? Or maybe they're repressing the fact that they really like the idea of her being a little ****ty, doesn't fit the mold and makes them uncomfortable?




I also wouldn't go for a woman who's had many partners. Been around the block way too many times in my book. Not cool.


But a virgin, as ideal as that might sound, isn't that great either because of the no sex experiences and may not want sex much because of that and isn't good at sex either.


I only had sex with the ladies I was seriously involved with and not one night stands and casual dating.


So, if a lady has had sex with a few guys but not many, no problem in my books and I apply this to myself as well.


A little ****ty is just fine.


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## 482 (Mar 14, 2017)

My gf has had 3 other partners I would be the 4th. I have had many so I guess I'm kind of a hypocrite in saying I place a high value on that for some reason. Our sex life is amazing so I don't think the number of partners she has had contributes to her ability and desire for great sex. I would not want a long term relationship with a girl who slept with half the town.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

WorkingOnMe said:


> She's like a child who insists she hates a vegetable she's never tasted.


That shows you know nothing about me.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

482 said:


> My gf has had 3 other partners I would be the 4th. I have had many so I guess I'm kind of a hypocrite in saying I place a high value on that for some reason. Our sex life is amazing so I don't think the number of partners she has had contributes to her ability and desire for great sex. I would not want a long term relationship with a girl who slept with half the town.


Yes that is being a hypocrite.


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