# Unexpected end of sexless marriage after three years- hope?



## wifey82 (Aug 4, 2011)

Maybe this could give some hope for others in a sexless marriage. I had thought it was all over. I really did not know why we were in this situation or how to fix it. I could not get him to talk about it at all. I had no choice but to accept the situation. For me sexless marriage was no (or very little) hugs, kisses never mind sex!

Around three years since our last time, there has been a massive change. Last week he suddenly announced he thought his sex drive was back and then we are having sex again. No warning just from zero to full on just like that. I found it rather confusing to say the least. I found it emotionally shattering. It is weird when something you had hoped would happen for so long suddenly happens like that. I wrote it off as a one off from previous experience but a few days later it happened again and then again last night. Dare I hope things have turned a corner?? I just feel so self concious during sex now - trying to make the experience good for him so he would want to do it again. Plus three years of a platonic relationship with someone is weird to suddenly change!

My husband has never been a talker. The issue for him was dealing with a chronic illness (had been keeping it underwraps just how ill it was making him), an addition to codeine (again kept secret). He is now under the hospital for his chronic illness and it on medication and his GP is helping him withdraw from the codeine. The turning point was him telling me all of this. He was distressed at keeping secrets and so he was pulling away. Plus he was under the effects of the drugs which did not help. 

Anyway just wanted to say that sometimes things can get better - just it is very difficult especially if you are married to a non-talker!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I hope that this is a permanent turning point in your marriage. Maybe now he will be able to be more open with you.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Well what you said makes sense these things could absolutely contribute to his lack of drive.


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

Any opiate based pain medication will kill your sex drive.
Stopping codeine in and of itself should give him a boost.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

OP--while i'm glad your sexless marriage is apparently over (for now), I'd encourage you to get into some counseling. 3 years of sexlessness along with no communication and deception about an addiction can't just be swept under the rug like it never happened. You're most likely going to have some resentment issues to work through.


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## twoofus (Jun 16, 2017)

Great to learn someone is getting over what appeared to be a hopeless situation.


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