# Eyes Now Open



## Anthony Wellers (Jul 29, 2017)

I wasn't quite sure where to post this, so I'll keep it here for now.

Many of you have been quite helpful concerning a certain matter brought up in my first post (and you will know which one if you viewed the post and/or commented on it), and a couple of you have PMed me asking how things are going.

First off, I have received a LOT of useful advice, including recommended reading material, that has proved quite helpful. Thanks all for your recommendations.

Anyway, here's the story (continuing on from first post).

The matter was brought up once again (not intentionally, but an unrelated argument led back to this). I gave her the bottom line. She didn't like it.

In a nutshell;

- she still hasn't apologised, nor does she admit or acknowledge (even to herself) any wrongdoing on her part.

- she is convinced that I have the issue ("jealousy"), not her.

- she refuses to go to ANY kind of counselling, and will not even confide in her own close friends and family (and is now terrified of MY mother (though she has no reason to be) who knows the whole story).

- counselling is a joke (as someone else pointed out, is biased towards the man conforming to the woman's needs) though I may have just had a bad counsellor in IC (only one session so far).

- I refused to back down. I told her that her behaviour was out of order, and explained the difference between jealousy and betrayal.

- It turns out that the offending young lad "has learning difficulties" and doesn't know any better. Irrelevant, she does, and I pointed this out too. I also pointed out that when (or if) I see him next I will be having a POLITE word with him about where he puts his hands (and his manners).

- She stormed out at one point. In the past I would have tried to stop her. This time (and thanks to the advice from you guys) I let her go. I expected (maybe even hoped) that she would be gone for some time, maybe even overnight. She came back an hour or so later, still upset and complaining that she "can't cope any more". (With what exactly?)

- After (almost) calming down, she agreed that she would not allow such behaviour again (whether I am there or not), as long as I didn't "get upset about it". As long as she keeps her part, I've nothing to get upset about!

Incidentally, her stories about the three 'incidents' have changed a few times.

The first one - "He's practically family, it's just the way he is, and I think nothing of it", "I didn't know who it was. I thought it was you" (I was sitting on her left!), "I mean't to say "Do you mind not doing that", I don't know why I said "Oooh! That's nice"".

The second one - There was never any hand holding. His hand just brushed against hers...apparently. (But still the inappropriate comment!)

The third one - It wasn't him. It was actually one of the other girls on the trip that scratched her back.


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## Anthony Wellers (Jul 29, 2017)

MOVING ON

As to her reluctance to go to MC, her response is that her way of dealing with things (or in her words "to not hold grudges") is that she takes her feelings on the matter out of her head, screws them up into a little ball, and throws them out of the window.

Personally, I think the reason that she doesn't want to go to MC, or ANY kind of counselling, even family, is because she doesn't want somebody else to point out to her her faults. That it will always be my opinion against hers! Not healthy imo.

Anyway, we have moved past "What happened in...." She wants to forgive and forget. I told her that I'll forgive...but I'll never forget. She didn't like that either.

The good news.

We had our own family holiday, me, the wife and the two kids, and we had a great time. During and following this, aside for the odd trivial argument (about totally different matters), things have been a lot better between us. She has been more friendly (and at times even reasonable) and lovable.

She has also been horny as f**k as well with me lately. (Despite her, shall we say "indiscretions", my own "snooping" (I know I shouldn't...but peace of mind and all that) has revealed that, although her stories are inconsistent, they are as close to the truth as she is going to get, and nothing happened (at least that I don't already know about)). Given the green light (as far as what didn't happen) I took full enjoyment of this.

Nevertheless, what she is (at least potentially) capable of has been revealed to me. Trust has been abused, and it will be difficult for her to win this back if she feels that she didn't even do anything wrong. It has made me more watchful, and this in itself has revealed a few things that I will reveal in the post below.


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## Anthony Wellers (Jul 29, 2017)

A TRAIL OF LIES AND DECEPTIONS

I have read in other posts that trusting couples should be open and honest with each other, and this includes mobile phone texts, computer passwords to social sites and so on.

Certain things that gave me warning signs like the fact that her mobile phone hardly ever leaves her side (though she is careless and sometimes forgets where she puts it, and isn't password locked).

A couple of times I have moved over to where she is sitting and leant over while she was "playing" on her ipad. Both times she flinched, pulling the screen out of my view (or so she thought) and quickly shutting down the app she was on. One time I caught her on bingo, but she was typing in the chatroom. Why the secrecy? Her explanation was that it was "an automatic reaction", and she closed the app down by accident because her thumb was already over the 'close' button.

Another instance was when I needed to access her email account (in her presence) to look at an email relating to our holiday. As soon as I was into her account, she hurriedly told me to go to the 'Holiday' folder because its not in the main Inbox. I'd already scrolled down and seen a few things that she might not have wanted me to see. The reason for this became evident when I quizzed her on her spending habits on online bingo and apps. She said she spent mere pennies on them. Not according to the email I saw that contained a receipt (and confirmed on her bank statement).

Now her gambling habit is a bone of contention, and she has promised (though not for the first time) to be more careful and drastically curb her spending on gambling.

Perhaps the most disturbing of all was when I had to have a look at her ipad. Our daughter had been watching videos on it (she's only 5), mostly cartoons, but then I found her watching material inappropriate for a child of her age ("Man Gives Birth!") and things like that. I looked through the history, horrified at what else she might have been watching. This is how I found her porn records.

The times that these were accessed were in the early hours of the morning, so it was the wife watching them, not our daughter finding them by accident, thankfully.

Now, she has always maintained that she intensely dislikes porn and doesn't even watch it (unless it's on the odd occasion with me). Since finding the records in her history (and they go back a few months at least - previous history has probably auto-deleted) I brought up the subject in playful conversation (talking about fantasies and such like), and she still maintains that she doesn't watch porn. Oh, and it's mostly Lesbian porn (something I'm not a big fan of, unlike a lot of other hot-blooded males). She knows how I feel about such things. I would find it kinky and a bit of a turn on if she told me she watched lesbian porn. I wouldn't have a problem about it at all. Again, why the secrecy? Why hide it? (Unless she's embarrassed, but as far as I'm concerned, there's no need to be!)

There are other lies that I won't go into here. Some of them are so trivial I don't even know why she lies about them.

Like the title says, my eyes are now open (and ever watchful).


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

If you keep letting her talk eventually you might get the truth.Problem is she lies so much you won't know it's the truth.
And I would be having more than a polite word with her "friend" and his learning difficulties wouldn't prevent him from understanding where I was coming from.Who knows,maybe my hand would "accidentally" brush against his solar plexus,or my knee against his testicles.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Anthony Wellers said:


> MOVING ON
> 
> As to her reluctance to go to MC, her response is that her way of dealing with things (or in her words "to not hold grudges") is that she takes her feelings on the matter out of her head, screws them up into a little ball, and throws them out of the window.
> 
> ...



Tell her, her actions shows she is not invested in the marriage because

1. she has been inappropriate with this young guy
2. She has lied and changed her story one too many times
3. She refuses to go to MC or be held accountable in any way
4. She is afraid of your mother cause she knows the truth

Tell her (do not suggest) she goes to MC or you will assume that she has a lot more to hide and you will be slowly detaching from the marriage and eventually leaving her. Play hardball with her, she thinks she is the one in control. Take back your control and follow through, no threats, nice and gentle but follow through. Slowly detach, she is not to be trusted.


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## Anthony Wellers (Jul 29, 2017)

Andy1001 said:


> If you keep letting her talk eventually you might get the truth.Problem is she lies so much you won't know it's the truth.
> And I would be having more than a polite word with her "friend" and his learning difficulties wouldn't prevent him from understanding where I was coming from.Who knows,maybe my hand would "accidentally" brush against his solar plexus,or my knee against his testicles.


:laugh: "Accidents" do sometimes happen, don't they!


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## Anthony Wellers (Jul 29, 2017)

aine said:


> Tell her, her actions shows she is not invested in the marriage because
> 
> 1. she has been inappropriate with this young guy
> 2. She has lied and changed her story one too many times
> ...


To be honest, I think I'd rather plan my exit strategy and get the hell out. Gonna take some time though.

I strongly suspect that she's waiting for my uncle to pop it so she can get her hands on the inheritance. Ain't gonna happen.


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

Anthony Wellers said:


> To be honest, I think I'd rather plan my exit strategy and get the hell out. Gonna take some time though.
> 
> I strongly suspect that she's waiting for my uncle to pop it so she can get her hands on the inheritance. Ain't gonna happen.


Her changing the stories is to find the ideal ones that you will accept with no issues, you're on to that though.

Plan wisely. She probably thinks you'll take whatever **** she puts you through. Once she realizes that you won't, she will change. Be prepared.


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## a_mister (Aug 23, 2017)

Anthony Wellers said:


> "I mean't to say "Do you mind not doing that", I don't know why I said "Oooh! That's nice"".


I haven't read the original post, but this gave me a chuckle. Not at your situation, but with you at the ridiculousness of it. I agree about her reasons for avoiding MC and about the significance of the gambling receipts and her dishonesty about it.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Anthony Wellers said:


> She has also been horny as f**k as well with me lately. (Despite her, shall we say "indiscretions", my own "snooping" (I know I shouldn't...but peace of mind and all that) has revealed that, although her stories are inconsistent, they are as close to the truth as she is going to get, and nothing happened (at least that I don't already know about)). Given the green light (as far as what didn't happen) I took full enjoyment of this.


Enjoy it while it lasts but also keep in mind her motives right now are probably more geared towards distracting you from the issues in the marriage than being horny. Guys getting lots of sex tend to overlook a great many problems or questionable behavior from spouses.


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## Anthony Wellers (Jul 29, 2017)

honcho said:


> Enjoy it while it lasts but also keep in mind her motives right now are probably more geared towards distracting you from the issues in the marriage than being horny. Guys getting lots of sex tend to overlook a great many problems or questionable behavior from spouses.


Thanks. Yes, I am well aware of this. I am also aware that cheating spouses can get hornier with their partner while they are cheating on them. Not saying this is the case here, but she is being somewhat tight-lipped, almost glib, about it.


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## Anthony Wellers (Jul 29, 2017)

aine said:


> Tell her (do not suggest) she goes to MC or you will assume that she has a lot more to hide and you will be slowly detaching from the marriage and eventually leaving her.


This almost sounds like a counter to what she said (although in her case it was more of an angry response) way back before in previous arguments. It's threatening, issuing an ultimatum. But point taken.

What I did do (we had an argument last night - more details later) was tell her to her face that her reasons for not wanting to go to counselling are BS (not in those words though). I told her she is the one with the problem, not me (again, it's actually BOTH of our problem), and that the real reason she doesn't want to go to counselling is because she is too scared to.


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## Anthony Wellers (Jul 29, 2017)

LAST NIGHT'S ARGUMENT

This one just blew up out of nowhere.

Earlier in the day she was giving me the come on. I was lying on the sofa, she had taken her trousers off (she was a bit hot having just got back from work). She then came over to me, straddled me, flashing her cleavage, kissing etc. I asked her why she was so horny lately, and we had a bit of small talk, and she told me that she wanted me warmed up for later when the kids are in bed.

Day went on, housework, cooking, eating, chilling, watching TV etc. She makes sure that our daughter goes to bed early (son just stays in his room permanently jacked in to his computer). Instead of getting kinky like she did earlier, she just plays on her ipad for a bit then gets into bed. No kiss or cuddle or anything, just completely blanked me.

Long story short, I asked her what gives, given the way she was earlier. She says that she did all that because I complain if she doesn't want sex (partially true, a bad trait of mine that I got rid of many years ago). Still didn't make sense to me. Why lead me on like that (and to be honest I wasn't really in the mood anyway). She said she came over because I asked her to. I don't remember asking her to come over to me, and if I did, it was to talk to her or something, not for a kinky smooch.

This escalated. Basically, I told her that what she did was lie to me (about wanting it later). After this things just got heated and a bit out of control. It ended up with her storming out (and me letting her) saying that she was going to sleep in the car.

I could have handled it better and been a bit calmer, but I was just fed up of her lies and getting defensive when confronted even in the slightest. To be honest though, I'm GLAD I put her in her place (and let off a bit of steam in the process). 

It ended up with us BOTH apologising to each other (me for losing it, her for lying...but, hey! At least I got an apology this time). I repeated what I said earlier, about the reason why she didn't want to go to counselling, that SHE has a problem (whether she realises it or not) and I'm not the only person that thinks so, and that the lying, deception and devious has to stop, period!

She agreed to most of what I said (but not about going to MC), though I tend to think she is just saying what I want to hear. I really don't care any more what's going through that head of hers.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

This is just going to go around and around in one giant circle until you jump cleanly off this ferris wheel.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Satya said:


> This is just going to go around and around in one giant circle until you jump cleanly off this ferris wheel.


*She would be so much damned fun to cross-examine up on the witness stand!

It could well take me several days to finish up with the cross-examination alone!*


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Anthony Wellers said:


> LAST NIGHT'S ARGUMENT
> 
> This one just blew up out of nowhere.
> 
> ...


Buddy.How long are you going to put up with this lying,manipulating,conniving,CHEATING excuse for a wife.Stop with the bs and file tomorrow because you need to get away from this toxic individual immediately.


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## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

Satya said:


> This is just going to go around and around in one giant circle until you jump cleanly off this ferris wheel.


I thought it was a turd merry go round.


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## Anthony Wellers (Jul 29, 2017)

a_mister said:


> I haven't read the original post, but this gave me a chuckle. Not at your situation, but with you at the ridiculousness of it. I agree about her reasons for avoiding MC and about the significance of the gambling receipts and her dishonesty about it.


Sometimes I wish you guys could listen in to the crap she comes out with. That would give you a real chuckle. I have actually said to her on occasion that if anyone else could hear what she was saying that they would find it ridiculous.

In fact, sometimes I wish I could dissociate from being in the centre of the situation and have a chuckle myself.


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## TaDor (Dec 20, 2015)

You need to start 180.

When she lies to you about something, such as "I didn't kiss you, you asked me to" type stuff... go "oh... okay, I remembered it wrong". 
Just log it mentally and maybe on a electronic log... she how often she is doing this, gaslighting. That is confusing. 

I think it'll make you doubt yourself more (she is doing this on purpose or she is nuts). Hence, the VAR can be handy to backtrack her lies.

Work on yourself, work on your exist plans.
No more trying to prove her wrong. Interact "normal" with some confusion. I wonder if she is laying down the groundwork so that when she has to lie about cheating, you will already be doubting your memory and thoughts.


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## Anthony Wellers (Jul 29, 2017)

TaDor said:


> You need to start 180.
> 
> Just log it mentally and *maybe on a electronic log...* she how often she is doing this, gaslighting.
> 
> Hence, the VAR can be handy to backtrack her lies.


On it already. Keeping track of everything. The VAR has already caught her out. She said something but insisted that she said something different and I heard it wrong. Checked back on the VAR and I heard it right. (Incidentally, this was a test run for the VAR).

Another 'gas-lighting' attempt. She says I have I hearing problem (I say she mumbles and her voice trails off, also she needs to look at me and/or make sure she has my attention before speaking).

I go for a hearing check. My hearing is just fine. I told the doctor why I had come for a hearing test so she gave me a leaflet to give to my wife about Communication Tactics (i.e. making sure you are heard). It has things on it like facing the person when you are speaking to them, making sure you have their attention before speaking, and so on.

I gave the leaflet to my wife. She said "Is this a p**s-take?"

(What is more amusing was that she followed this up a few minutes later with the fact that she has leaflets like that in her line of work. My response was that she should put them into practise herself - literally "practise what you preach").


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Anthony, I think you have come to the same conclusion as most of us. Simply put, your wife is selfishly immature. 

Boundaries, sir. Boundaries.


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## TaDor (Dec 20, 2015)

Glad to see you are already making use of the VAR. Very helpful.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Regarding the inheritance: if your uncle dies and you receive an inheritance *before* you are divorced, keep the inheritance in a separate account in your name only, DO NOT mingle it with marital assets, do not spend any of it on any martial asset or debt, and consult an attorney right away!!!


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Anthony Wellers said:


> To be honest, I think I'd rather plan my exit strategy and get the hell out. Gonna take some time though.
> 
> *I strongly suspect that she's waiting for my uncle to pop it so she can get her hands on the inheritance. Ain't gonna happen.*


What a morose thought.

If you can think it, so can she.

Not saying she will divorce you after the inheritance "pops", [your words] but who knows?

The sex, the hysterical sex could come from her guilt lined cellar [after selling her soul to some POSOM], or more likely from fear.
Fear, that you will dump her.

Just Sayin'


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

When married people look at porn, secretly or out in the open, it reveals a fact.

One on one sex with their partner is no longer "sufficient" to put it mildly.

Worrisome?

Always. 

OK, it may not progress to anything more serious, I get that. People are different, HD,LD or mid-pack.

It is, or should be worrisome to the other partner.

No one wants to lose the attention and love of their partner. Yes, I am the very jealous sort.


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## Anthony Wellers (Jul 29, 2017)

SunCMars said:


> When married people look at porn, secretly or out in the open, it reveals a fact.
> 
> One on one sex with their partner is no longer "sufficient" to put it mildly.
> 
> ...


Different attitudes I guess.

Porn doesn't bother me. I personally think it's quite healthy. (I read somewhere that people who watch porn are LESS likely to cheat).

Like fantasising over screen idols - it's remote, fantasy, nothing more (imo at least).

Watching porn in secret and hiding it on the other hand, somewhat more worrisome.



> *Yes, I am the very jealous sort.*


I'm not.

Being able to shut it off (or ignore it) can be useful when trying to rationalise. Though it does provide you with those 'gut feelings'.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Anthony Wellers said:


> Different attitudes I guess.
> 
> Porn doesn't bother me. I personally think it's quite healthy. (I read somewhere that people who watch porn are LESS likely to cheat).
> 
> ...


There is a big difference between being jealous and burying your head in the sand.The person you are married to is supposed to be the one person in the world you can trust,the person who looks out for you and has your back and would never do anything to hurt you.That's my opinion on marriage anyway.
Not in your case.
Your wife has at best being mean,manipulative,extremely naive and guilty of emotional abuse.
At worst she has been sleeping around on you,denigrating you,flirting with all and sundry and her family not only know but condone her behaviour.
The cliche shutting the barn door after the horses have bolted springs to mind.
You KNOW in your gut she is only hanging around to get her grubby hands on your inheritance.
You know what you have to do but can you do it is the question.


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## Anthony Wellers (Jul 29, 2017)

Andy1001 said:


> There is a big difference between being jealous and burying your head in the sand.


Precisely!


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

If you were smart you'd give up the babysitting, homemaker gig and get back into the workforce.

The only way this is going to workout is if you go deep into doormat status but that won't last forever as she'll trade your ass in at some point.

Better wake up man!!!


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## Tobyboy (Jun 13, 2013)

Marc878 said:


> If you were smart you'd give up the babysitting, homemaker gig and get back into the workforce.
> 
> The only way this is going to workout is if you go deep into doormat status but that won't last forever as *she'll trade your ass in at some point*.
> 
> Better wake up man!!!


Not before she test drives others first!


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## Anthony Wellers (Jul 29, 2017)

FINALLY - AN APOLOGY

After a period of things being 'sort of okay', the issue came up again. I told her in no uncertain terms that she had been a flirt and if she expects me to put up with that kind of behaviour, she is dead wrong.

She finally apologised for her part in the events that happened back in July. She had thought them to be innocent (and she told me that certain acquaintances of hers thought so too, though whether she made this up or these people really do exist and are of dubious moral standards is uncertain). Nevertheless, she has apologised for not responding more appropriately and swore that she will never let this kind of thing happen again.

I'll take it. But like i said, ever watchful, and if she EVER crosses the line again, it will be the divorce lawyers that will be letting her know what 'Inappropriate Associations with Another Person' means and its consequences.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Now, I know you want to fill us in on your communications with her. And you are giving us a rundown of daily events and talks.
But, from what you have written it sounds like you are a nervous wreck. You have skin way too thin for a successful man about town.

Please lighten up.
Do not take yourself so seriously.

You sound like you are badgering your bird. If you nag her like this ad-nauseum, she will just give up.
Pick your battles. Do not try to win every one of them.

Give her some breathing room.

Nagging is a bad thing.

I know, she is far from perfect.


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## Anthony Wellers (Jul 29, 2017)

SunCMars said:


> Now, I know you want to fill us in on your communications with her. And you are giving us a rundown of daily events and talks.
> But, from what you have written it sounds like you are a nervous wreck. You have skin way too thin for a successful man about town.
> 
> Please lighten up.
> ...


To be honest, a lot of this (though not quite all of it) makes perfect sense. Actually, the last line really.

As for wanting to keep you all up to date about daily events and talks; two things, firstly, its been some time that I posted on this site regarding this particular little matter, and 'nagging her' is hardly accurate, it just came up. Secondly, I thought that was partly the purpose of this site, to vent, to let off steam, to get it out of your system whatever.

Anyway, I feel that now the air is cleared somewhat. What happened was a mistake (she doesn't even like the guy (or that part of her family, but explaining the reasons here would mean a whole new post, let's just say some delayed transferred Stockholm Syndrome from a childhood trauma of hers may be involved). But, yes, stupid, thoughtless and unintended mistake. I know that, she knows that, time to move on.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Good, moveon.org

No, not that lefty group.

By the way, I wrote this because I want things to work out for you.
Yes, she is a handful. But. you sound like you want it to work out.

For that to happen you need to be a "live with", livable person.
Someone, if not normally pleasant, at least neutral, most of the time.
Make it worth her while and hope she returns the favor.

Good Luck!


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

Anthony, you've lined it up where she works and you're a SAHD with no pressure to bring home the bacon. You've indicated you've got a substantial inheritance coming your way when your uncle kicks the bucket. She's got a dose of controlling her own agenda meaning she's not likely to go back to her old life and will likely never be the former wife of yesteryear. Have you thought about just keeping her around for booty call while letting her furnish all the resources. In the meantime, let her do her flirtatious things while you putter around the house and maybe get to know some of the neighborhood ladies. It ain't a bad gig. You could even advance your education while she picks up the tab.


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## Anthony Wellers (Jul 29, 2017)

VladDracul said:


> Anthony, you've lined it up where she works and you're a SAHD with no pressure to bring home the bacon. You've indicated you've got a substantial inheritance coming your way when your uncle kicks the bucket. She's got a dose of controlling her own agenda meaning she's not likely to go back to her old life and will likely never be the former wife of yesteryear. Have you thought about just keeping her around for booty call while letting her furnish all the resources. In the meantime, let her do her flirtatious things while you putter around the house and maybe get to know some of the neighborhood ladies. It ain't a bad gig.


I'll take this on board. (In fact some of it ain't a million miles from my current mindset).>



> You could even advance your education while she picks up the tab.


Already on it. Currently brushing up on Machiavelli.


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## jeneth (Nov 9, 2017)

confront your cheating spouse with evidence,i was able to spy on my cheating ex phone without finding out.....it really helped me during my divorce ...you can contact ([email protected]) text 617-402-2260 for spying and hacking social networks, school servers, icloud and much more,viber chats hack, Facebook messages and yahoo messenger,calls log and spy call recording, monitoring SMS text messages remotely,cell phone GPS location tracking, spy on Whats app Messages,his services are cheap.. and please tell him i referred you to him he is a man with a heart of GOLD.


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## Anthony Wellers (Jul 29, 2017)

jeneth said:


> confront your cheating spouse with evidence,i was able to spy on my cheating ex phone without finding out.....it really helped me during my divorce ...you can contact ([email protected]) text 617-402-2260 for spying and hacking social networks, school servers, icloud and much more,viber chats hack, Facebook messages and yahoo messenger,calls log and spy call recording, monitoring SMS text messages remotely,cell phone GPS location tracking, spy on Whats app Messages,his services are cheap.. and please tell him i referred you to him he is a man with a heart of GOLD.


I think updates on events have been kind of splattered around in other posts, especially http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/209754-standard-evidence-post.html

"Cheating spouse" is a bit strong. VARs have yielded NOTHING! She got a bit flirty. I had words. Told her to kerb it. She agreed.

The bottom line with the guy in question...I saw him again, put him in his place and he was all "I didn't mean anything by it. I was just mucking about and she told me off. Sorry". When she said he has 'learning difficulties' she wasn't joking. He's got the mental age of a 12 year old. He just comes across as being a bit 'bolshy' (a trait he no doubt inherited from his odious parents (details if requested)). I felt like I'd kicked a puppy.

I've found out now where she gets her moral advice from (she told me)......facebook! (Yeah...wtf!)

Apparently, there is this group or some post where they were discussing that it is okay (exactly what - flirting? touching? having affairs? harassment?) as long as 'no emotion is involved'. She can't remember the details, and she can't find the post either so that she can show it to me, which is unfortunate, because then I could perhaps show her what these kind of people on this post are like and show her the other side of the coin. I must point out that she can be somewhat naive when it comes to things like this (i.e. taking what is posted on facebook as gospel).


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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

That post above your's might be a marketing ploy... forum spam.


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## David Darling (Oct 22, 2016)

Emerging Buddhist said:


> That post above your's might be a marketing ploy... forum spam.



You're right. The whole post is a copy and paste.


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## Anthony Wellers (Jul 29, 2017)

Emerging Buddhist said:


> That post above your's might be a marketing ploy... forum spam.


Explains why it seemed like he/she hadn't even followed the thread. Yes, seen plenty of these hire-a-hacker posts, and not just here. I should have guessed.

Also, only 2 posts? I should have looked at the profile, but no harm done.


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