# NEED a womans advice



## Moutanman (Aug 29, 2009)

My wife is deployed to Iraq and I am at home with our son. I have been deployed twice but not while we were together. While she is there i take care of our son and work and am getting ready to start school. I tell her I love her and miss her everyday and send her care packages constantly and try to let her always know what she means to me. She has recently told me that she doesnt think about sex with me or even miss me. The next day she will say she loves me, and back and forth and back and forth. I feel like Im getting the crap kicked out of me. Is there anyway to go about this that im not doing? It seems like no matter what I do she wants to fight with me about something. She is supposed to be on medication that started with post pardom now she doesnt feel she needs them anymore and I have turned into a punching bag. Any words of advice would be greatly appreciated. while she has been in iraq she has been posting pic of her hanging out with a bunch of other guys. later i found out that she had been going to watch movies with them and going out to the weeee hours of the morning with them all the while keeping it from me............if you need anymore info to help me let me know thanks for the time


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

First off thank you for serving our Country!!!

Gosh, the strain of stress of everyday life must get to not only you but your wife. 

It's so difficult to know what is REALLY happening from so far away. I guess you e-mail back and forth. 

How was your marriage before deployment? How old is your son?


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## Moutanman (Aug 29, 2009)

Our marriage was rocky before the deployement due to the post pardom not to mention that I have PTSD. She gets made at me because of the symptoms of my ptsd and yells at me about it. For somereason just because we disagree she thinks it has to be an all out fight. Our son is 20 months old


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

Are you getting some help for you PTSD? I hope counseling is included, if not, I hope you pursue that for yourself. It's very imporatant during any rough time to get help and gain support. I am glad you came here.

She may have mixed feelings. It's hard to do anything while she is gone marriage wise. I would try to steer away from the heavy relationship talk. 

Do you suspect that she may be having an affair? I know it can be fairly common among the military deployed.

Take care of yourself the best that you can. When she comes home. She needs to come home to a happy better person. It is attractive. You are doing this for her and your child but most imporatantly for YOU!!


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## Sandy55 (Jun 3, 2009)

Deployments are SO not natural to married life, or life, period. Boundaries are not going to be the same. You've been deployed, have you discussed issues that are going to come up, such as fidelity?

Being in a war situation is so different that "real world" I've been deployed and you group up and hang with a new set of people you grow close to just to survive the stress of it all.

I would not worry about it, what happens deployed stayed deployed. That was our motto in the reserves. It just had to be.

You need to let it go and just be supportive.


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