# Out of curiosity, how many betrayed men



## StarFires (Feb 27, 2018)

Another thread - actually several others that say pretty much the same things - got me wondering about something. 

I'm only asking the betrayed guys . . .

Out of curiosity, raise your hand and say "me" if your wayward wife or girlfriend said these words to you or something similar:

I don't like sex
I've never had an orgasm
I can take it or leave it
Everything is okay (in the sex department when you ask her)
Whatever you do is fine

Out of curiosity, raise your hand and say "me" if you thought (not that she said it but you thought it) anything like the following of your wayward wife or girlfriend:

She is frigid
She doesn't like sex
She is Asexual

Out of curiosity, raise your hand and say "me" if your wayward wife or girlfriend did any of the following or similar:

Avoided sex 
Never seemed to get into it
Never told you what she likes
Never talked about sex 

You can tell us your story if you would like, but say "me" first, please.


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## GoldenR (Jan 6, 2019)

Mine said some in each category. 

The part that she left out was "with you" after each.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Mine seemed to like it as she initiated it quite freely and was very giving. She was shy about certain areas of her body though. I do think I could have been better though, I was also young and didn't understand some of the things I do now about the nature of women's attraction. I don't think I was as creative as I might have been if I were more confident, but I was young. I also was too nice and and WAY TOO attached to her. Still I don't think that was the problem. 

Now that I am older I can see the warning signs that I didn't see when I was young. Her Mother left her when she was young. She wanted and needed constant attention. At the time I thought that was because she was so into me. Now I can see that was a part of her very low self esteem. She would not be someone I would consider dating if I was of the mindset and had the wisdom I have now back then. You live and learn.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

One can have a splendid, very carnal and wanton sex life. Yet still have their sexual partner cheat on them.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

StarFires said:


> Another thread - actually several others that say pretty much the same things - got me wondering about something.
> 
> I'm only asking the betrayed guys . . .


Pardon me for invading your thread without being betrayed (in the physical affair way, I was plenty betrayed in the withholding , teasing, abandonment ways) You are wondering about some unspecified thing and are seeking evidence to back up a theory. Kind of dishonest research in my opinion but whatever .. . . . 

My Low Drive wife, who achieves orgasm most times, (though there was a period when she didn't . . . long ago) has expressed or evidenced or led me to believe the following from your lists:



StarFires said:


> I can take it or leave it
> Everything is okay (in the sex department when you ask her)
> Whatever you do is fine
> *
> ...





Personal said:


> - snip -
> So one can have a splendid, very carnal and wanton sex life. Yet still have their sexual partner cheat on them.


And one can have a low drive and low interest in sex and maintain sexual faithfulness. (as far as I can tell)


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

Personal said:


> One can have a splendid, very carnal and wanton sex life. Yet still have their sexual partner cheat on them.


*raises hand*
ME!.... In the end.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

StarFires said:


> Another thread - actually several others that say pretty much the same things - got me wondering about something.
> 
> I'm only asking the betrayed guys . . .
> 
> ...


I'd never expect a WW to be honest about anything.
Why would any BS?


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## niceguy47460 (Dec 23, 2018)

Me


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

Lets make it 1000!


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

StarFires said:


> Another thread - actually several others that say pretty much the same things - got me wondering about something.
> 
> I'm only asking the betrayed guys . . .
> 
> ...


*Only with my first wife! With her, that "phraseology" was all too familiar!

However she seemed to have found more than ample time to "rattle the bones" of corporate VP's to get her into corporate positions she was no more qualified for than the man in the moon!*


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## Ozymandius (Nov 22, 2018)

After fourteen years of marrige... My ex started avoiding sex, to the point of not being in the room when I would get out of the shower... Which was different... A sexless year later I was told about her lover...


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Mr. Nail said:


> Pardon me for invading your thread without being betrayed (in the physical affair way, I was plenty betrayed in the withholding , teasing, abandonment ways) You are wondering about some unspecified thing and are seeking evidence to back up a theory. Kind of dishonest research in my opinion but whatever .. . . .
> 
> My Low Drive wife, who achieves orgasm most times, (though there was a period when she didn't . . . long ago) has expressed or evidenced or led me to believe the following from your lists:
> 
> And one can have a low drive and low interest in sex and maintain sexual faithfulness. (as far as I can tell)


I was in exactly the same boat at the height of my sex starved marriage. I heard all those statements from her, but I honestly believe she never cheated on my although I once wondered.

It took changing myself, working with a marriage counselor and sex therapist, and telling her and the therapist that I was going to be in a loving sexual relationship with a woman by a certain birthday and that while I wanted it to be with my wife, if she couldn't do that, I would divorce her and find someone who could give me what I emotionally needed.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

Young at Heart said:


> I was in exactly the same boat at the height of my sex starved marriage. I heard all those statements from her, but I honestly believe she never cheated on my although I once wondered.
> 
> It took changing myself, working with a marriage counselor and sex therapist, and telling her and the therapist that I was going to be in a loving sexual relationship with a woman by a certain birthday and that while I wanted it to be with my wife, if she couldn't do that, I would divorce her and find someone who could give me what I emotionally needed.


Well, what did she say to that? Don't keep us in suspense!


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

tech-novelist said:


> Well, what did she say to that? Don't keep us in suspense!


The sex therapist (a she) said that my response was reasonable and that it gave my wife enough time to figure out what she wanted. She urged my wife to consider carefully what she wanted, as many women would want me and give me what I needed. The Sex Therapist, in front of my wife over several sessions, helped me define what I considered a loving sexual relationship that would allow me to be happy and remain married. Then later the Sex Therapist told my wife she had a choice and she could either choose to give me what I needed or she could choose divorce. The choice was hers and she had to live with the consequences of her choice.

My wife choose to create a loving sexual relationship between us, even though she is much lower desire than I am.

I am quite happy. Your mileage may vary.


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