# Divorce and pyschics



## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

My girlfriends took me out to lunch on Saturday then dragged me along to a psychic. OMG I was "whatever". So we get there, and this woman sits me down and starts straight away:

You're changing jobs really soon (yes) and described my current job going away (yes)

You're ending a relationship right now (yes). She went into detail about why and described my ex to a T. One amazing thing she said was "he didn't think you'd ever file and leave him". "He was shocked". "He really didn't think you'd do it".

She described his cheating and said it was because he feels he doesn't deserve to be loved (true). Described his family and the addictions and mental illness thereof (yes). She said what he did he didn't do it to make you leave but he's been testing your love. She said men like this, because they feel unworthy of love they test the ones the love them. She said nobody has ever loved my ex the way I did and nobody ever will. She said he is angry inside at his life. He hates himself.

She said he will try to suck me back in but resist, and keep going with the divorce. He will never change. She said he can't change, he was made this way by his family upbringing (yes).

She said the third person (pregnant OW) - he will bounce back and forth with but it won't last. It will be short-lived.

She described my family, and said my mom was around me now and will be with me throughout this hard time (she died 7 yrs ago). She said my mom will come to me in my dreams. She said my mom loved me very much and is very proud of the person I am and the way I have lived my life.

Then she said 2 new men will come into my life later this year, I will get to know both but end up with the one who is an academic or consultant of some kind. We both love the mountains and lakes (I do).

She talked about my son and his disabilities and gifts. Said he is a wise old soul (yes he is).

Anyway... I don't hold beliefs either way about this stuff but I did get emotional through some of her statements. I didn't volunteer info all she asked was my first name and birthdate. Its sort of weird she knew this stuff. Bizarre.


----------



## hank_rea (Mar 13, 2013)

I'm just going to play devil's advocate here, but is it possible that your friends supplied this psychic with that information beforehand?


----------



## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

No, there's no way. They suggested it at lunch "lets go see a pyschic".

I googled and yelped on my cellphone and picked one. The girls paid for it when we got there.

The fact I picked it and made the appointment makes it freaky. None of us knew this woman.


----------



## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

On another note. He came over Friday night to see our son. He started talking about how the OW "tricked him" into getting pregnant. He was talking about her so I asked this:

Did she ever ask why you hadn't filed for divorce? He said "she did a few times" I asked what did you tell her - he said "I told her I was in no hurry".

What does "IN NO HURRY" mean anyway?

Wouldn't most people take this as a big red flag?

I asked this because I personally would not go near a separated man who was still married and made no steps to legally end the marriage.


----------



## Voltaire (Feb 5, 2013)

brokenbythis said:


> You're changing jobs really soon (yes)
> 
> 
> described my current job going away (yes)
> ...


This is just cold reading technique. They throw out a lot of statements at the start that could apply to just about anyone (just changed jobs, just moved, started/ended a relationship) and see which ones that you bite one - they observe you very closely and then go with the ones that clearly resonate with you.

After that they throw out all kinds of things that are generally true. Look at the statements above that I have separated out of your post. Most if not all of them are either true of most people in your situation or are the sort of generalisations that get thrown around in any conversation about relationships. 

Once she had zeroed in on the fact that you were getting divorced it wasn't exactly a stretch to suggest that he had cheated. Or that he was "shocked" and "didn't think that you would do it" (show me a WS who DOESN'T think like this).

"He'll never change" - you wouldn't be divorcing him if you didn't think this was true

"No-one ever loved him like you" - isn't this just exactly what you want to hear?

"He's angry and hates himself", "he feels unworthy of love", "he will try to suck you back in" - could be said of just about anyone who had cheated and who is currently being divorces.

The only slightly surprising thing is about the mental illness - but I'm willing to bet that she described what he did as something "like a madness" and only focused on the mental health angle after you prompted her - or else she phrased it in such a way that it could apply either to genuine mental health issues or to erratic "mad" behaviour. 

It's all nonsense.


----------



## mrtickle (Jan 29, 2013)

Voltaire said:


> It's all nonsense.


Ditto this. Some of the cold reading techniques these people deploy are very sophisticated.

Psychics tend to tell people what they want to hear, and whilst it can be argued that this is fair enough, there are situations where the spouting of these charlatans can upset or prevent healing (when someone has died for example).

For many years, James Randi has been running a $1m challenge to ANYONE claiming psychic or paranormal ability, where all they have to do is prove that they have the claimed ability (in a controlled, independent environment) and they will win a million dollars. So far, there have been many applicants and NOT ONE has passed even the preliminary tests.

It really IS nonsense


----------



## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

Voltaire said:


> This is just cold reading technique. They throw out a lot of statements at the start that could apply to just about anyone (just changed jobs, just moved, started/ended a relationship) and see which ones that you bite one - they observe you very closely and then go with the ones that clearly resonate with you.
> 
> After that they throw out all kinds of things that are generally true. Look at the statements above that I have separated out of your post. Most if not all of them are either true of most people in your situation or are the sort of generalisations that get thrown around in any conversation about relationships.
> 
> ...


I did not prompt her, agree with her, affirm anything she said. I just listened. I went in there trying to throw her off the scent so to speak, skeptic that I am. I also wore my wedding rings.

The mental illness bit - she wasn't talking about my ex she was talking about a specific person in his family. She also said this specific person refuses to get help and is not taking medication. That is all accurate.


----------



## mrtickle (Jan 29, 2013)

brokenbythis said:


> I did not prompt her, agree with her, affirm anything she said. I just listened. I went in there trying to throw her off the scent so to speak, skeptic that I am. I also wore my wedding rings.
> 
> The mental illness bit - she wasn't talking about my ex she was talking about a specific person in his family. She also said this specific person refuses to get help and is not taking medication. That is all accurate.


Well if you didn't give any hints that she was going along the right track, she must have had some insider information. None of this psychic stuff is real.

Another thing that most people don't remember after a psychic reading, are all the things said that don't make sense. It is human nature to purely remember the 'hits' and forget the 'misses'. Did she say a lot of stuff that didn't really resonate too? Or was it pretty much bam-bam-bam in terms of 'hits'? If it was the latter, then it is almost certain that she would have had some info fed to her beforehand.


----------



## Odaat (Nov 21, 2012)

> I did not prompt her, agree with her, affirm anything she said. I just listened. I went in there trying to throw her off the scent so to speak, skeptic that I am.


Think of it like poker. Even without verbal affirmation, subconsciously our body language gives off indicators. A good cold reader processes not only your verbal cues, but also your instinctive physical clues (which we have far less control over).

That, or inside info.


----------



## northernlights (Sep 23, 2012)

I do think most psychics are fake, but I don't think it's impossible. You'll think I'm crazy, but one year at christmas my SIL was giving my bro a hard time about the gift he'd gotten her (without saying what it was). I heard my brother's voice in my head say "laundry basket," then actually saw, in my head, a stainless steel hamper. And totally serious, he had gotten her the exact same hamper I saw in my head, and corrected me to laundry basket when I blurted out, "You got her a _hamper_?"

I know, silly and somewhat irrelevant, but how the heck do you explain that?? I'm still stumped! And no, I don't typically hear other people's voices in my head. This is the only time that's happened.


----------



## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

Odaat said:


> Think of it like poker. Even without verbal affirmation, subconsciously our body language gives off indicators. A good cold reader processes not only your verbal cues, but also your instinctive physical clues (which we have far less control over).
> 
> That, or inside info.


:iagree:








_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

brokenbythis said:


> No, there's no way. They suggested it at lunch "lets go see a pyschic".
> 
> I googled and yelped on my cellphone and picked one. The girls paid for it when we got there.
> 
> The fact I picked it and made the appointment makes it freaky. None of us knew this woman.


There are things that cannot be explained. Some people just have a gift I think. For one thing they can pick up on the slightest body language.. it's 70% of human communication.

The day my father died, I startled awake from a nap... and the first thought in my mind was that he had just died. This happened at the exact time he died in a hospital about 400 miles away. Some things cannot be explained with science.


----------



## mrtickle (Jan 29, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> There are things that cannot be explained. Some people just have a gift I think. For one thing they can pick up on the slightest body language.. it's 70% of human communication.
> 
> The day my father died, I startled awake from a nap... and the first thought in my mind was that he had just died. This happened at the exact time he died in a hospital about 400 miles away. Some things cannot be explained with science.


The methods and techniques used by 'psychics' are well documented, and there is nothing paranormal going on.

Specific events, coincidences or anything else don't change that.

I don't want to really get into the specifics relating to your father and I do agree that science still can't answer everything (although science can still test if things are real or not), however even anecdotes such as this do not relate to 'professional' psychics who reel off a bunch of things they are supposed to know about you due to some 'spirit guide' or other such make believe. There is a big leap from experiencing an odd and highly co-incidental thing which you cannot easily explain, to sitting there with a crystal ball and a master card-swipe machine.


----------



## Dadwithtwolittlegirls (Jul 23, 2012)

My stbxw said she her tarot cards told her it was time to leave and through meditation she was able to build up the strength. 

I give her "negative energy" and she is forced to "Block my negative energy from effecting her" .. and that I am "attacking her with my thoughts.. so she had to block me"

I have been to a reading my stbxw has done for people and have heard all the same things that this person told you. It is scripted I think as she has told many of the same people the same thing..time and time again. Then they pay her $30...

Don't take any of it to heart.. unless you believe in it.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

mrtickle said:


> The methods and techniques used by 'psychics' are well documented, and there is nothing paranormal going on.
> 
> Specific events, coincidences or anything else don't change that.
> 
> I don't want to really get into the specifics relating to your father and I do agree that science still can't answer everything (although science can still test if things are real or not), however even anecdotes such as this do not relate to 'professional' psychics who reel off a bunch of things they are supposed to know about you due to some 'spirit guide' or other such make believe. There is a big leap from experiencing an odd and highly co-incidental thing which you cannot easily explain, to sitting there with a crystal ball and a master card-swipe machine.


When I was a kid, my dad's office use to use a woman once in a while who read tea leaves to solve cases and find missing people. They used her when nothing else worked. There were a few times when she did her tea reading in our kitchen. She strangely was able to pin point where the missing person was. And no.. she was not the one who drove the missing person to the place they were found.


----------



## mrtickle (Jan 29, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> When I was a kid, my dad's office use to use a woman once in a while who read tea leaves to solve cases and find missing people. They used her when nothing else worked. There were a few times when she did her tea reading in our kitchen. She strangely was able to pin point where the missing person was. And no.. she was not the one who drove the missing person to the place they were found.


I tried reading tea leaves once, but all it told me was that I needed my cup re-filled


----------



## Dadwithtwolittlegirls (Jul 23, 2012)

ba dum ptt..


----------



## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

Ok ye skeptics 

I interviewed yesterday for the job I wanted and it was offered to me yesterday afternoon.

Like the pyschic said.


----------



## Pbartender (Dec 6, 2012)

brokenbythis said:


> I googled and yelped on my cellphone and picked one. The girls paid for it when we got there.
> 
> The fact *I picked it and made the appointment* makes it freaky. None of us knew this woman.


Okay, presuming this means you called the psychic up beforehand and made an appointment for a specific time...

Now she's got your name and phone number, and all sorts of time to do internet searches for information about you, your friends, your relations and what's been going on in your life.

Easy peasy.


----------



## Dadwithtwolittlegirls (Jul 23, 2012)

I'm not gonna trample on the Psychics as I have seen my ex's predictions come true also..


----------



## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

I hate psychics. 

My wife has a couple of friends that saw psychics who 'predicted' things about their future. These things the psychic predicted ended up coming true. Things like, "You will have a second marriage within the next 5 years."

I believe putting these thoughts in the person's head was what caused the predictions to become true. Someone tells you that you will have a new relationship and you subconsciously start looking for one.

I don't doubt that the OP got the job offer partially because of confidence he gained through the psychic.


----------



## mrtickle (Jan 29, 2013)

Pbartender said:


> Okay, presuming this means you called the psychic up beforehand and made an appointment for a specific time...
> 
> Now she's got your name and phone number, and all sorts of time to do internet searches for information about you, your friends, your relations and what's been going on in your life.
> 
> Easy peasy.


Yep. Also, the OP didn't state, but if her and friends saw the psychic alone, and she was not the first one in, then she could have gleaned information this way also.

One of the 'famous' psychics had some TV crew recording at one of their readings, and they found the audience were given some forms to fill in, which would contain vital 'hook' info for use during the reading, and they also had the lobby bugged and video recorded so the assistants could pick up on info that could be fed to the performer during the reading, if needed. The logic here, was that a group of people visiting such a show will often chat about who they would like to contact etc before they go in to the auditorium. Really, really advanced stuff. 



SadSamIAm said:


> I hate psychics.
> 
> My wife has a couple of friends that saw psychics who 'predicted' things about their future. These things the psychic predicted ended up coming true. Things like, "You will have a second marriage within the next 5 years."
> 
> ...


Good point and quite true, although I don't think statements like 'You will have a second marriage within 5 years' is really being too risky with your predictions in the current day and age. And if someone doesn't re-marry in 5 years? They will forget the psychic said it. If they split but are not remarried in 5 years? They will say the psychic was right, and they could have remarried but chose not to. If they do remarry? The psychic got it right! Personally, I'd be much more impressed if the psychic could say something like 'You will remarry in approx 48 months time, to a woman with dark hair who lives in North London and has 3 cats'. They never do though....too much chance of being wrong.

These people thrive on getting a few 'hits' and letting people overlook the myriad of 'misses', which they ALWAYS do


----------

