# Partner too much for me to handle, its making me ill!



## Crystal2675 (Apr 17, 2009)

Hello, 

Its been a while since I have ever posted on a forum before and I feel I am in desperate need of answers as I cant seem to get anywhere on my own with this.

I have been with my fiancé a while now and just lately since moving into our new house, I have been feeling very stressed as I hate the house itself and feel its not me, nor the area too. We have encountered so many issues as its a new build that 3 months down the line we are now feeling its time to move out and sell up as its caused us, more so me, so much stress and illness. The thought of moving house is actually making things easier for me, so all the snags are getting done and now thinking ok where do we move to. The area just isn't us or me. The prospect of moving is good, but the thought of staying with my partner now I am not sure about.

Lately however, I have not been wanting as much sex with my partner, he has a huge sex drive and I struggle with keeping up with his demands, or more like feel I am not enough, even though he tells me I am. He is always wanting me, which is nice, but when we first, he admitted he was too full on, too much and too overbearing as well, this actually put me off where we split up over this a few times.

It wasn't so much his overbearing sexual attraction towards me, but more it would take him ages to climax and it took us 6 months to understand that he needed time to recover and not masturbate anymore and I'm sure its porn related when he was single that he was like this,but it did throw me and made me feel that sex with him was becoming more of a chore because he wanted it to last ages, he admitted he loved how it made him feel, so loved the different sensations sex gave him, but during this process it was making me clam up, get bored and start to feel it was a chore, if that makes sense. His high sex drive would mean he literally was masturbating so many times per day when he was single before me that he admitted he is pretty much addicted to it.

When we do have sex its been good, he does know how to please me, but I feel, strangely that sex for me, feels like I am his release not so much a mutual feeling which is strange, or more like I am his sex release, because when we have been flirty together, at one time we mentioned ok lets go upstairs tonight and have fun but when it came to the evening, I found it was me who was shattered and didnt want him anywhere near me. So he got nasty with me, said he should have w*nked instead of lying in this bed, only for me to get upset, but this is how it feels at times for me, he isn't making sex relaxing anymore for me. 

We are now sleeping separately, arguing all the time and he has become nasty, telling me to do certain chores around the house to disconnecting certain sites on the internet so I cant get into them, he admitted it was because he was upset with me!

I feel low, and lost as we use to get on so well together and have fun, we use to spend all our time together, but one thing I have noticed is that since moving and the jobs have been done, I am now doing things with my friends, starting new hobbies and feel I cant handle his demands, emotions and also seeing him change too where he isn't coming across exciting or happy to be around, just wanting to be with me, doing things with me and then watching TV which as I am 10 years younger, I see him as not as exciting to be around, he has also admitted he is slowing down more. I am not sure if he is controlling but since being on my own lately he has disconnected the internet and pulled out some wires so I cant gain access and also blocked many sites as well, so I cant gain access, I work from home so my business is my life. I couldn't believe he did this and admitted to doing it as well just to be spiteful.

So its a combination of little things which I am feeling very distant about with him, I also feel he isn't my rock so much anymore as I organise things, sort out the house and also feel just being with him isn't enough as I am missing my social life, but its more living together as well which is difficult as I feel he wants me with him on the couch where I want to read, and do other things. sometimes I want to be with him other times I am out three times a week doing other social things which I love. I am actually becoming angry around him. My PMT is getting worse and he blames me for torturing him during that time as well, so its my fault. Now I dread that time as its getting worse the more I am around him yet around others I feel ok and calmer. 

So I feel he isn't enough for me, it may be he never will be unless he changes which I know isn't fair or unless I stay at home with him at night and just stay with him 24/7. I still cant over the internet and him pulling out the wire and blocking sites, my parents are mentioning its so vindictive which is also very spiteful, if he doesnt get his own way he does that. More so they are saying if he does that again to leave him.

I am actually beginning to hate him because of how immature he is, he isn't young either, in his late forties! 

thank you, sorry to go on, I have never felt this way about anyone before x


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Yikes. It sounds like you two aren't compatible, have major disconnects around sex and so many other things, and you are miserable with him. 

And this:



> I am not sure if he is controlling but since being on my own lately he has disconnected the internet and pulled out some wires so I cant gain access and also blocked many sites as well, so I cant gain access, I work from home so my business is my life. I couldn't believe he did this and admitted to doing it as well just to be spiteful.


YES, this is controlling, and unconscionable. since this is how you earn a living! And as he said, it is SPITEFUL since he has no reason for this. And a man who is spiteful and acts spitefully? He is actively working against you, not as a team. This is not loving behavior and is likely the tip of the iceberg of what he will put you through if you stay.

Personally, I would run far and fast away from him. You aren't married, and you have discovered that you are not compatible. Staying isn't going to make things any better, just worse.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Honestly, he sounds dreadful. Dont marry him, dont even stay with him. Get your house sold and move on.


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