# Ladies, a question...Does good sex make you hornier?



## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

My W and I have had an outstanding sexual relationship. Not only that, but a fantastic relationship all the way around. But the sex is phenominal.

Now, this is with a woman who says she had not had sex but a few times in the last couple years of her previous marriage. She had lost all interest in it and never had a great deal of interest in it from the beginning. It was "all about him", it was boring, and the relationship itself had deteriorated so badly she just could not bring herself to have sex with him.

Now, that's fairly normal I think in a relationship that starts to turn sour where bad feeling snowball and one or both partners are being taken for granted. No real mystery there. But she also said that she rarely felt the desire to even masturbate.

Now, to us. We've been together for a while. We're very open with each other. Nothing outrageous, but open masturbation (one in front of the other or mutual), a blindfold from time to time, toys every now and then, porn occassionally, sex in car, parking lots, etc). I definately like to "keep her on her toes" and keep things new and exciting, while still staying within our comfort zones. I don't do boring and predictable. 

She likes to tell me if she masturbates alsone when I'm gone, because it turns us both on to know when each other do that at as well. We love the openness and transparency of our sexual desires and sex lives, and things we do. 

I'd recently thought and began to believe that really good sex (the rest of the relationship being really good as well) made a woman crave it even more. I think a couple things recently has confirmed that for me. About a year ago, she had some health issues that prohibited sex for a coupe months. I never, ever pressured or said a thing. But when the issues cleared, it seemed like it was very hard to get things back to the way they were. She had almost seemed to lose interest. I thought "well, here we go, this is when it starts". However, I was frustrated, but tried to voice it in a way that was not harsh. Just a concern. Gave her some room, but tried extra hard to please her in bed. In a short amount of time, she became more receptive, and the great sex led to more great sex yet again. Haven't been frustrated since.

But, I am a little surprised by last weekend. We'd not seen each other for over a week. We made love 4 times over the course of the first 12 hours. She had multiples each time, which is typical for her. And the absence ignited some extreme passion and a couple new things for us in bed. It was really some epic lovemaking. I was drained, and she was drained and sore. Yet, when I walked in the room the afternoon following, I unexpectedly caught her masturbating! Just maybe 6 hours after we had last done it. 

She always says that when we do something new or have really great sex, that she "can't stop thinking about it" and it keeps her horniness at a level where she can't stand it. I love that she is so sexual and though we have a vey good sex life, she still desires masturbation when I'm not there.

Is this "typical"? I believe I understand it, but in my younger days and inexperience, I did not experience it. And oh my god, how much I love it! When i caught her (not that she was hiding it), I thought about it later, and it made me so damn happy to have someone who is so into me and what we do together that even after an incredible night and morning of sex, she wants MORE.

Have you ladies experienced this feeling and hyper desire? Has good, consistent sex "turned you around" or surprised you with the resulting desire? Or is it something else? I'd recently read, and I'm not sure I believe it, that with frequent lovemaking, a woman's vagina can absorb certain hormones from semen through the vaginal walls which can impact her desire. Haven't read up on it to determine if that's a myth or not. 

Is it a result of something purely physical (hormones), or is it entirely mental?


----------



## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Yup. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Quaintrelle (May 13, 2012)

Short answer: Yes.

Long answer: Yeeeeeeeesssss. Ohhhhhhhh gooooooood yeeeeessss. YEEEEEESSSSS.

Seriously though. Is it hormonal or mental? Probably both. But I think it's definitely a case of 'if you don't use it, you lose it'. And using it is the best way to keep it firing up.


----------



## Marvel212 (May 7, 2012)

Suppressed said:


> Short answer: Yes.
> 
> Long answer: Yeeeeeeeesssss. Ohhhhhhhh gooooooood yeeeeessss. YEEEEEESSSSS.
> 
> Seriously though. Is it hormonal or mental? Probably both. But I think it's definitely a case of 'if you don't use it, you lose it'. And using it is the best way to keep it firing up.


I think it is both as well! Being with someone who can satitsfy you both sexually and non sexually is attractive, at least it is to me. When you take the time to truly please your partner and they are truly out to please you. You cant help but want more and more of it.


----------



## Cherie (May 9, 2012)

Absolutely, without a doubt!!

Good sex leads to more sex, leads to more drive, leads to more sex...I believe it's cyclical. 
AND, it's been proven that more endorphrines create arousal so more touching leads to more horniness, which leads to sex, leads to ....yep, more sex 

:smthumbup:

I think about is ALL DAY after a great session with hubby, and when that happens we are more likely to repeat it sooner rather than later.


----------



## Aristotle (Apr 4, 2012)

If sex is so good I cannot stop thinking about it, I will go masturbate to the thought of how good sex just was. 

Crazy.


----------



## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Yes definitely!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

This doesn't seem to hold true in my marriage. Maybe the sex isn't as good as she makes me think it is.

I think our issue though is deeper than just good sex. She grew up with an alcoholic father that made her feel bad about her body. Made her feel that sex was dirty. She has issues with intimacy. Our barrier to more sex isn't about the quality of it, it is about her getting past her issues and allowing us to get close.


----------



## Hunger (Mar 26, 2012)

Aristotle said:


> If sex is so good I cannot stop thinking about it, I will go masturbate to the thought of how good sex just was.
> 
> Crazy.


:iagree::iagree::iagree:


----------



## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Great sex makes me want more. Lack of sex also makes me want more. I just like sex. I always want more.


----------



## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

I have to admit threads like this always make me a bit sad. My wife is equally uninterested in sex, masturbation, etc. after great sex or bad sex.


----------



## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

Good sex makes me want it more as well.

Bad sex though, not so much.


----------



## Sawney Beane (May 1, 2011)

Browncoat said:


> I have to admit threads like this always make me a bit sad. My wife is equally uninterested in sex, masturbation, etc. after great sex or bad sex.


If you read something like Deci and Ryan you can pinpoint this on the motivational scale. A totally external "locus of causality", with no personal sense of value from the act.

If you were a golfer, and it was golf we were talking about, it wouldn't be a big deal if your wife only played once or twice a year to shut you up. You'd get out and thrash a ball on your own. If it's sex, it's more of a problem.


----------



## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

Thanks for the replies. I'm just really wondering if this is the "key" to keeping the great sex and desire alive in a long term relationship? Keeping things fresh, exciting, and not falling into patterns of behavior or "ruts". Obviously along with an even healthier dose of appreciation for the relationship as a whole and keeping that fresh and exciting as well.

I just wonder how many women fell into that low drive rut with someone previously, but snapped out of it long term with someone else. My W says she often thought something was "wrong with her" in her previous marriage. Now she seems to realize it was nothing wrong with her at all, but rather the marriage itself, and the damage done in it that just continued to snowball and was never repaired. But she still has a hard time comprehending the difference between her then and now. From my point of view, I'm loving this, and would never want to go back to another relationship where it wasn't like this.


----------



## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

Sawney Beane said:


> If you read something like Deci and Ryan you can pinpoint this on the motivational scale. A totally external "locus of causality", with no personal sense of value from the act.
> 
> If you were a golfer, and it was golf we were talking about, it wouldn't be a big deal if your wife only played once or twice a year to shut you up. You'd get out and thrash a ball on your own. If it's sex, it's more of a problem.


That is correct, no personal sense of value from the act at all. If we stopped all sex altogether, other than it bothering me... I doubt it would bother her.

That is her motivation for sex is driven purely by my need for it, and her knowledge of my need.

She has had amazing orgasms... makes no difference to her, it's not worth the effort in and of itself.


----------



## Sawney Beane (May 1, 2011)

Browncoat said:


> That is correct, no personal sense of value from the act at all. If we stopped all sex altogether, other than it bothering me... I doubt it would bother her.
> 
> That is her motivation for sex is driven purely by my need for it, and her knowledge of my need.
> 
> She has had amazing orgasms... makes no difference to her, it's not worth the effort in and of itself.


I wish I could offer a more positive view. The theory has it that as you gain competence, autonomy and relatedness through participation, you should become increasingly internally (intrinsically) motivated, to do something just because you like it.


----------



## Aristotle (Apr 4, 2012)

donny64 said:


> Or is it something else? I'd recently read, and I'm not sure I believe it, that with frequent lovemaking, a woman's vagina can absorb certain hormones from semen through the vaginal walls which can impact her desire. Haven't read up on it to determine if that's a myth or not.
> 
> Is it a result of something purely physical (hormones), or is it entirely mental?


I got too excited and replied too quickly without reading your original post completely. Yes, there are hormones in semen that make a woman feel better and can even affect their sex drive (testosterone). What's funnier is, the colon absorbs things much better than the vagina (oral -- not so much, because of stomach acids) so anal sex can create a huge boost in energy and sex drive. But most people would say that a woman who enjoys anal already has a huge sex drive. They'd probably be right.

Gay people are happy and love sex.

The colon is made to absorb, not so sure about the vaginal walls, although studies have shown that women who have sex without condoms tend to find boyfriends quicker after they breakup (addicted to semen). If semen was yucky, gross, nasty, and the world hated it, we would never have babies. The same as the vagina drives us wild and we love to feel it, there are things about men that women want, without ever knowing it. Semen is one of those things. I am not sure why that so many women deny this, maybe because it makes them feel less powerful, but our semen is made with addictive qualities (makes women feel good, makes them want more sex, and gives them an energy boost) to ensure we reproduce and have babies. 

I've learned that posting this around some women really pisses them off though. They want to believe that they love semen because they love their man, otherwise it's gross. As a kid I thought a vagina was disgusting looking, like someone spit up chewed up bologne. However, as an adult, it's the most gorgeous thing I have ever laid my eyes on. There is a reason for that....


----------



## Quaintrelle (May 13, 2012)

donny64 said:


> I just wonder how many women fell into that low drive rut with someone previously, but snapped out of it long term with someone else.


*Puts hand up*

My previous husband was very LD compared to me. We were together for 15 years, and the last 8 years of the marriage were totally sex free. "Sex isn't everything" he would say, which is true. However, he treated sex - and my concerns about our non-existant sex life - as nothing. Which isn't the same thing. With the lack of sex, that part of me just got switched off for many years.

Then I started working out at the gym, getting stronger, which led to me getting more confident, AND led me back to living more in my body. All those years I may as well have been a head in a jar, and then I rediscovered my body. Which meant that when I met my current partner I was raring to go. We're both fairly HD. And the sex was so, so good. Which led to more great sex.

And then I got sick, lost most of my left breast and put on some weight and his attraction to me all went to hell. But up to that point, great stuff.


----------



## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

Hell yeah! Great sex makes me think "When can we do it again?" In fact 9 times out of 10 after great sex, we talk about when we can do it again. 

I really haven't had "bad" sex with hubby. A few times here and there over the years one or both of us were disconnected from the act for whatever reason, but the vast majority of the time he knows what to do, how to do it and when to do it so it's all good.


----------



## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Absolutely. The more sex I have the more i want and the more often I masturbate.
The only time I was LD was when our kids were babies.. I wasn't even masturbating during that time. I quess my LD was hormonal.


----------



## Havesomethingtosay (Nov 1, 2011)

Yep OP depressed me too..... Regardless of how good the sex is, it does not result in a palpable change in her desire (and yes I can push the right buttons and we are happy and have an okay sex life). 

Sure maybe we do it again (blue moon) or the next day, but nothing sustained.


----------



## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

its not a question of "good sex", but more sex i have, the more i want it.

if i get it 4/5 times a week, than i will want to give husband bjs, 3/4 maybe even 5 times.

it dosent take much to get it off track, more job hours, sick kids, maybe he just bought a new video game...

we arent sexless. its usually every other day...like monday, wed, maybe we skip friday, and make it up on sat.

but it can go to everyday, and a lot of times, oral in the morning [for him], than sex at nite. after 3 days like that, i will want it ALL the time..like to actually have sex twice a day...

never happens, with work ,and elementary school age kids..

but all this sex we are having has lead us to talk about getting a room somewhere, or other alternatives.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

You make an impression on a woman of course she's going to keep coming back for more


----------



## 7737 (Feb 10, 2011)

I'm with Browncoat on this.... 

For those of us in sexless marriages or married to women who cannot or won't see the importance of sex in a marriage, reading posts such as this, where couples are having good, fulfilling and regular sex....well it makes 'us' feel more despondent, jealous and...well, a bit sad to be honest.


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

7737 said:


> I'm with Browncoat on this....
> 
> For those of us in sexless marriages or married to women who cannot or won't see the importance of sex in a marriage, reading posts such as this, where couples are having good, fulfilling and regular sex....well it makes 'us' feel more despondent, jealous and...well, a bit sad to be honest.


Let it inspire you to build that with your wife. 

Be happy for the OP.

And recognize there can be ebbs and flows throughout relationships, in various areas, so I think many of us are in continual 'learning' mode. Whether we want to admit that or not.

As for me, when I have dark chocolate that just melts in my mouth in the most exquisite way, then I will crave it again later. Or the thought of it can make my mouth water. Same goes for sex. And the more I indulge, the more I will crave. 

I'm a slave to my senses!


----------



## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

7737 said:


> I'm with Browncoat on this....
> 
> For those of us in sexless marriages or married to women who cannot or won't see the importance of sex in a marriage, reading posts such as this, where couples are having good, fulfilling and regular sex....well it makes 'us' feel more despondent, jealous and...well, a bit sad to be honest.


To you and Browncoat I would say this; I've been there. I decided I'd never live my life that way again. I made a commitment, from the start of this relationship to not allow it, or perhaps more importantly, FACILITATE it. I did / have done / am doing many things to make sure I'm doing my best to prevent this from happening. I laid the "ground rules" early on..."I won't live that kind of life again" type of thing. Not a threat, just a "mattter of fact" statement. I learned about sex, really learned, and how to please a woman. I always thought I was at least "decent" in bed. While that may have been true, the "decent lover" in my years past could not hold a candle to who I am now. Completely unselfish and entirely focused on her satisfaction. (There's a long story about ED about why that is so with me, but that's how I was / am). In return, I have complete reciprocity. She does not feel a need for there to be something in it for her to please me.

I change things up constantly and keep it "fresh" and exciting. And I know, KNOW, how to touch her and show her things she never experienced before. Because I made myself a "student" (if you will) of what feels good for a woman, even if a particular woman does not realize it herself or even believe she's "capable" of such things. Continue to show a woman she is in fact capable of things she "knows" she is not "capable of", and you'll quickly be branded as the "best lover of her life". You don't have to "hit" every time. In fact, one out of every 4 times is great! Show her something about her own capabilites she did not believe was possible, and nobody has done before, and you'll quickly hit "star status".

Understanding. Openness. Appreciation. A sincere desire to put her sexual desires, satisfaction, wants, and needs before my own. And so much more. 

Again, I'm not sure how I'd deal with this in an already bad situation. But I don't suspect I'd treat it too greatly differently, knowing what I do now. 

Guys, I have an incredible sex life with my W. I found this place not out of trying to figure out what was wrong and how to fix it, but rather out of trying to continue to educate myself on how to please her (and us), and avoid the pitfalls we've all experienced at some point in a relationship. I want to be "ahead" of this game. I "work" daily at trying to figure out ways to keep her happy. And not out of a sense of desperation, but rather knowing she deserves my very best, continued efforts to do so, because she seems to do so for me. It's the "snowball effect". You can have the bad snowball, where you try to lay blame and come up with reasons to justify being angry, of you can have the good snowball, where something is good and you want to continue that and try to build on it.

I do honestly believe guys, that had I not been the way I was with her, I'd be here singing your guys' tune. I've been there before and have done so. I desperately wanted to learn from my mistakes and not let it happen again. Will it or could it? Yes. Difference being is NOW I know I've done all I could. If that's not enough, I will quickly detach and walk away if she's not open to working out the issues, and will find someone who appreciates such efforts. And her knowledge that this is how I truly feel, I believe, does not hurt matters either. It's not a "threat", and I don't use it as such. It is just who I believe (and she believes) I am. Life is too freakin' short to be continually frustrated by / with the person you share your life with daily. I honestly can't, and won't, do it again. But you can bet your last dollar I WILL do my part. Most of the time that "part" is being an unselfish lover. Sometimes, however, it's being a guy who won't tolerate lack of effort or apperciation on her part. I know what I try to do and be. if she doesn't appreciate that, then her and I both can move on, and I will find someone who will.


----------



## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

3leafclover said:


> Yes, good sex makes me want more sex. Good sex also leads to increased frequency of masturbation for me. Increased frequency of masturbation leads to more sex (again, for me. I can't speak for others). It's like a positive feedback system. I think prolonged lack of sex for whatever reason can interrupt this system and cause potential problems getting it going again.


You can speak for me, because this is exactly how I am. I've got a high drive, but if I go without, it enables me to go without longer.

If I start the cycle, it begets more and more sexual activity until I've reached "enough"; more sex, more masturbation. How much is enough varies.

With my wife likewise great sex makes her crave more sex.


----------



## 7737 (Feb 10, 2011)

Wifeofhusband - indeed...it affects both men and women. But I was speaking as a man....!


----------



## Havesomethingtosay (Nov 1, 2011)

My wife says it is like sugar..... Once you get past that craving you have for it, you can easily go without......I look at her incredulously and unfortunately am scared she is serious.....


----------



## CLucas976 (Jun 27, 2010)

good sex makes me want more, within 5 minutes, again and again. 

the weird part of that, is that usually I end up wearing myself out to where my body and mind reject sex for a few days to recoup after a day or two sexfest. And I mean as many times as possible within a day.

unfortunately, that added to huge issues in my marriage because on the days my drive shuts off, it caused immediate resentment and insult from both parties. me being "god, just leave me alone" and him being " you don't love me"

fun stuff, really.


----------



## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

Nope .........my wife can hGwy a orgasm in 5 min. She says long drawn out love making is good from time to time, but almost seems like work. She is fine with 15-30 min. Sessions 95% of the time and feels like we are trying to make a porno if its much. Soreness is also a issue even with lube if 30 min. Is exceeded much of the time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

donny64 said:


> Now, to us. We've been together for a while. We're very open with each other. Nothing outrageous, but open masturbation (one in front of the other or mutual), a blindfold from time to time, toys every now and then, porn occassionally, sex in car, parking lots, etc). I definately like to "keep her on her toes" and keep things new and exciting, while still staying within our comfort zones. I don't do boring and predictable.





> Have you ladies experienced this feeling and hyper desire? Has good, consistent sex "turned you around" or surprised you with the resulting desire? Or is it something else? I'd recently read, and I'm not sure I believe it, that with frequent lovemaking, a woman's vagina can absorb certain hormones from semen through the vaginal walls which can impact her desire. Haven't read up on it to determine if that's a myth or not.
> 
> *Is it a result of something purely physical (hormones), or is it entirely mental*?



I'd have to say Both... My story is one where HORMONES kick started with fury...... then because of my experience....my whole mindset changed (from good girl to ertotic seductress)... Greatest thing that has ever happened to me ....and what a blessing to our marraige, even though I was wearing him out for a time...I just wish this would have happened 20 yrs earlier ! DAMN!

I am surely one who feels alot of good sex begats more sex...I wish my husband was a little more Creative sometimes though ... I hate to call him "predictable"-but compared to me....let's just say....I bring the adventure on.... But to his credit....he has always & forever been a Pleaser, it's always been ABOUT ME......he is Mr. Sensual, and he thrives on the "*emotional connection*"...Sex is not Sex to him, it is "making love". He has little interest in toys, or masterbating, he just needs to be with me, he would be happy & satisfied with vanilla till he dies, he has told me this.....but he'll come along for any ride I want to take him on, love him for that! So I can't complain....He is a highly affectionate Physcal Toucher also...and I love this dearly. 

In our past though... His being so predictable, with out really outright Flirting, shaking things up & confidently showing me he WANTS ME *NOW*, taking the arousing by the horns... type thing....surely didn't do him any favors. He is a more quiet lover who, when I was too much into our kids..or reading books ... he took this personally and didn't push me, but put himself down.  

We never opened the SEX dialog until 3 yrs ago at my leading....after 6 kids & being married for 19 yrs. Our story is rediculous how we missed each other ...he was thinking my drive was low, and I was thinking he wouldn't want woke up in the middle of the night -if /when I got horny (half the time I would masterbate- the other half wake him up)... when I told him this, his response was pretty :rofl:... he said ..."That would be like telling me the house was on fire -that's important!!!"... and I was like..."well damn, why didn't you let me know THEN you wanted me to wake you up all the time". If only we talked more openly about how we FELT , what turns us on, something....We were missing each other really bad. 

At one point he looked up online how to get a wife "more in the mood"....He sure read the WRONG darn article to deal with me.... said to do my dishes, vacumm my floor. Nope, I'm not an "Acts of service " woman! He should have outright showed me his DESIRE, verbally expressed what he wanted to do to me... wrestled me to the ground, something exciting, something unpredictable & FUN...this was his answer... Instead he silently put himself down, not all the time but way more than he should have... He loved when I came on to him and I did after so many days. Always LOVED pleasure....but he never really put a FIRE under me about it. 

When we did it, at least once a week, I was SO HOT for it, once he slipped it in, a few pumps & it was all over....way too fast... No feeling on earth could compare - I should have been addicted to orgasms back then when I think about it. But in my stupidity ....I remember thinking....."well, I'm good for another week!" 

Then I had a sex drive increase (a culmination of things seemed to happen around the same time & WOW... I felt like my mind was HI-jacked ....this was me >>







...my husband became my addiction.... I also started to love PORN....All my inhibitions blown completely to the wind, it is crazy what some Testosterone can do to your psyche - (My story HERE.)

That was the end of our ho-hum predictable once a week sex life. I suddenly couldn't get enough....wanted it 3 times a day, didn't need a touch of forplay.... I am nothing like my husband, when I want something, I go after it with fervor &







. I turned our sex life on it's head ...through all of this , we learned he is turned on by Aggressive women (I played that pretty well once the cougar was let out of the cage).... I read books on how to please a man, I seduced, aroused, flirted, teased, dressed up, we played sex games, new positions, I kept him on his toes...he couldn't do 3 times a day though (we learned his test was on the lower side of normal)...so I learned some patience (it was hard) and settled for once a day. 

That ride lasted 8 months...my hormones slowly C A L M E D in intensity and urge.......I accually needed forplay again.... our sex life has remained as 'happening" as then... but we are now driven for the "emotional fullfillment" it brings more so...still loving those orgasms ! 




> She always says that when we do something new or have really great sex, that she "can't stop thinking about it" and it keeps her horniness at a level where she can't stand it. I love that she is so sexual and though we have a vey good sex life, she still desires masturbation when I'm not there.


 WHen I was in that hyper horny state, I did masterbate a little (bought my 1st toys) cause he couldn't handle me....though he told me he wanted me to use him every time....I tried to wait for him, I even gave him performance pressure and we worked through that too - by doing "senstate focus" exercises & me flirting in such a way to get his mind off his member ...oh we have come through some things....and learned so much about each other...I would say my skyrocketed drive was one of the greatest blessings ever to our union...I learned how my husband felt less loved by my not showing him enough desirous affection in our past. Regrets that just didn't have to be. 

If they could make a pill to give the experience I had, women would be changed FOREVER!


----------



## MrsOldNews (Feb 22, 2012)

wifeofhusband said:


> Well, yeah, if it's good then there is motivation and it's wanted more. Same goes in reverse though.


Exactly!


----------

