# Help! I'm almost never horny, husband almost always is



## fitchick1961 (May 5, 2015)

I'm 54, in the middle of menopause. My husband and I are reconciling after a 3 yr separation, neither of us was with anyone else. Sex was a big issue during our marriage. It was mainly with me never initiating, never really being that interested if we had sex or not. We were together 13 yrs before the separation. In the first few years of our marriage I could get aroused with kissing, touching, even thinking about sex. There were alot of issues during our marriage which contributed to my lack of interest or caring if we had sex. Now however we are trying to make things work, so this is something I need to fix. First off I found out after the 3 yr dry spell I had, that I now have major issues with dryness and pain, due to menopause I'm guessing. Also a big issue is it can take awhile for me to orgasm, almost never with intercourse, a vibrator usually works fairly well. However, things are also not as sensitive down there either. The thing is my husband gets frustrated sometimes I think with how long it takes me etc. I need some suggestions as to how I can be more sexually motivated, etc. I love my husband and this is very important to him, and the rebuilding of our marriage.


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## Melvynman (Mar 19, 2014)

Your problem is very common. 43% of America women are sexually dysfunctional! 54% of women in relationships have affairs, it is safe to say they are not sexually dysfunctional! You were brought up to believe one man for one women for life and its called marriage. Mother nature design you to mother 3 to 5 children all by different fathers. Staying monogamous for life most likely will lead to sexual dysfunction. A few thousand years of males controlling the reproductive rights women does change millions of years of evolution. You have been brain-washed and screwed for control your reproductive organs.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Why yes! Having sex with at least 5 other men will fix everything! 


Or not.

Get to your doctor. You could probably use some hormone therapy and you may have developed a condition that causes painful intercourse in women.

Also, you and your H need to work together on this to make it fun.

Do you use lubricant? Coconut oil is pretty fantastic.

Anon Pink is far more of an expert on vaginal issues than I, she has one, so hopefully she will pop in and give you some advice.

Don't give up. You have a lot more time to explore and experiment than when you were younger.

Best wishes.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Perhaps you and your husband should seriously consider going to a sex therapist.


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## Spitfire (Jun 6, 2015)

He needs to know you're being proactive about things and not self diagnosing. Definitely go see your doctor. To me there's nothing better than using a vibe on my wife while having sex. Get creative!


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

My wife went through menopause a few years ago and her libido went from 110mph to a standing stop....almost overnight. Not only did her libido drop to nil, but when we did have sex, it was often painful for her and dryness would often be an issue. A few months ago, we decided to check into HRT for her and the results are miraculous. Just some food for thought.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

fitchick1961 said:


> ...Sex was a big issue during our marriage.....never really being that interested if we had sex or not.
> 
> ...I could get aroused with kissing, touching, even thinking about sex. ......now.. it can take awhile for me to orgasm, almost never with intercourse, a vibrator usually works fairly well. However, things are also not as sensitive down there either.
> 
> ..The thing is my husband gets frustrated sometimes I think with how long it takes me etc. I need some suggestions as to how I can be more sexually motivated, etc. I love my husband and this is very important to him, and the rebuilding of our marriage.


First of all congratulations on reuniting with you H and deciding to change. Good for you. That required extreme courage. Remember it will take time to correct past habits you and your H took to build. Don't expect instant results.

Yes, both you and your H are probably less sensitive down there on both your bodies than when you were first married. 

Try to figure out how to enjoy foreplay. Foreplay and After Care can provide a bonding experience that will both excite you and release hormones in the two of you. Foreplay will connect the two of you as bonding behaviors really do work. Sensate Focus exercises are a good way to rediscover the magic of touch.

If you feel you need to speed things up, then learn how to best use a vibrator on yourself. May I suggest that you and your H experiment with doggy style while you use a vibrator on yourself. As the two of you are going at it, keep asking if to tell you how arroused he is. When he gets close, put the vibrator into overdrive, so you climax. Often times that will trigger a simultaneous orgasm where one of your contractions will trigger his climax. Then praise him for giving you a simultaneous orgasm. 

Part of what you want to do is to break past conditioned responses to sex or lack of sex and masturbation. You are going to need to both condition your body and his body as well has his emotional response to the new sexual you. That will take time. Litterally you will be training him and he will be training you. Figure out how to break certain things down into small tasks and practice them together, then after you have mastered them, combine them. That is how most athletes develop skills. 

Don't be hard on yourself for past deeds not done. Focus on your future. Speaking of athletes, may I suggest that you use one of the strongest athletic training skills......visualization. After intercourse cuddle and talk about what each of you wants. Talk about what each of you visualizes that an ideal marriage will entail. Talk about the three best sexual experiences of your life.
Then spend time visualizing those happy thoughts. Try to carefully relive some of the best sexual experiences and make them real again.

Good luck to you. It will take time, but you seem determined.


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## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

Melvynman said:


> Your problem is very common. 43% of America women are sexually dysfunctional! 54% of women in relationships have affairs, it is safe to say they are not sexually dysfunctional! You were brought up to believe one man for one women for life and its called marriage. Mother nature design you to mother 3 to 5 children all by different fathers. Staying monogamous for life most likely will lead to sexual dysfunction. A few thousand years of males controlling the reproductive rights women does change millions of years of evolution. You have been brain-washed and screwed for control your reproductive organs.


OMG....:rofl::rofl:


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

If his major frustration is your lack of initiating and you honestly do love the guy and want the marriage to succeed, I'd suggest you start regularly initiating sex, regardless of how you happen to feel. Y'all can go to marriage counseling, sex therapy, try various lubes, toys, or what-not, but if he's going weeks or months without you acting sexually interested in him, he's going to remain frustrated. 

When you say you love this guy, what does that actually mean to you? It's apparently not linked to feelings of sexual desire. Is he like a buddy? Someone you appreciate? Someone you depend upon? I don't know what a loving adult relationship between a man and woman feels like without sexual attraction and romantic passion. Maybe you can help me understand.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

What on earth possessed you two to get back together? I mean really. You were already sexually incompatible. Enough that you separated for three years. Then after menopause you get back together as though the problem will go away? It sure looks like it's only going to be worse. Are you initiating sex several times a week? That is, aside from talking, are you actually doing anything differently? Is he? Do his behaviors contribute to your lack of desire?


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Could you elaborate on the other issues in your marriage that led to your disinterest?

How would you describe your husband in bed? Is he giving?


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## anonmd (Oct 23, 2014)

Pretty baffled by the reconciliation after 3 years as well. Good for you for seeking out a solution but if this was a major problem before...


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

*As you get older, you just have to up your "game" a little. For example:*


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## LisaKane (Jun 26, 2015)

After going to doctor to check out HRT and getting help with your menopause, how about getting some erotica? Well written erotica can be very stimulating...try Anais Nin or Ann Rices Sleeping Beauty series.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Maybe I'm just hopelessly jaded, but I suspect that when most men hear a woman say "I love you", they assume that also means the woman is sexually attracted to them. Obviously, those words are often said to men by women who have zero interest in having sex with them. Maybe it would be helpful if we just omitted that word from our vocabulary and used other terms to specifically describe our level of interest and motivation regarding a relationship. Maybe something along the lines of, "Gee, I notice you have a job and you're handy around the house. I'd sure appreciate it if you let me occupy the position of wife for a few decades. By the way, I am not the least bit attracted to you, sexually." Sexless guys might say, "Hey, um, I need a place to crash and someone to cook for me and pick up after me. How about being my wife? By the way, I think you're overweight and I don't find you even remotely attractive, sexually. Matter-of-fact, I'm really into gay porn but not ready to come out. What do you say?" 
I guess I sort of understand that sexual desire can wane after a time due to any number of issues. What I can't wrap my head around is people deliberately pursuing (or restarting) a relationship with someone of the opposite sex when they have no sexual desire at all or no sexual desire for their intended target.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

You cannot initiate something you don't want. Your husband needs to stop expecting/demanding it.

Do you expect him to look into your closet and initiate a shoe shopping trip for this years fashions? Of course not, it's not on his radar at all. But if you bring it up and ask him nicely, he might go with you to shop. I said might....

Get to the GYN and get a script for estrogen cream. You apply it to your vulva and vagina a few times a week and it will increase blood flow and vascular functioning so that the vaginal tissue isn't so think and dry, and your lady parts plump up as they did when you used to ovulate. There is also HRT that might have a positive impact on libido.

Regardless, you still have responsive desire. You do not, on your own, think about or desire sex. You and your husband need to become better acquainted with that term and how it works in marriages. The rule of thumb is, first comes arousal, second comes the desire to have sex. So he has to get you aroused so that you will want sex. If this is too much for him, he shouldn't be having sex with women because most women do have responsive desire while most men have sponatious desire.

But what you can do is to always be open to become aroused. Just because you're not feeling it right the doesn't mean you won't become aroused at all if he makes the right moves.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

People with responsive desire are responsive. She's just not that into him.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I initiate all kinds of things I don't necessarily want because they are important to someone else. I think most people do. We don't only perform the tasks we enjoy when we are at work. If people want to behave according to their own wishes, they are free to remain single. If they take on a spouse, that is an agreement to compromise. In an ideal world, both partners would consider their mate's needs and desires more important than their own.


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## fitchick1961 (May 5, 2015)

Ok, first off, I am sexually attracted to my husband, I enjoy sex when we used to have it. It's painful right now, so we are doing other things. My husband is very considerate in regards to sex. I come from a background of childhood sexual abuse, so was never able to be too verbal about sex, what I wanted or didn't want. I have dealt with that in therapy. My husband is actively working on the issues that caused us to separate as am I, I can't say why we decided to reconcile now, but we weren't talking much during separation, but we both still love each other, so we're working on it. I enjoy All aspects of sex, I don't mind doing a lot of different things, I have just always had a hard time taking lead, or verbalizing much about it, from my background I guess. I can orgasm pretty quickly with vibrator, takes longer if hubby doing oral on me. I don't know why people assume we were always sexually incompatible, we had sex frequently before we were married and for first 6 yrs. My husband had a stroke about 7 years ago, and a lot of our issues both sexual and non- sexual have stemmed from that. I Tried estrogen cream, I think I had a reaction to it, a lot of burning etc, so I'm going to go back to my doctor to see what else I can use. 
And oh yeah, sure sleeping with a bunch of men will cure my problems, lol, not, how ridiculous


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## fitchick1961 (May 5, 2015)

Our marriage lost a lot of intimacy and connection I think because my husband had really bad sleep issues, so he slept in living room,I slept upstairs,we didn't sleep in same bed for almost 10 yrs. we are doing things to reconnect, we kiss, hold hands, he likes to do things to arouse me, and it works unless, I'm really tired. I just asked for suggestions to help a situation I want to work on, because I do love my husband. I don't need opinions on why I'm not into him or whatever.


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

fitchick1961 said:


> I Tried estrogen cream, I think I had a reaction to it, a lot of burning etc, so I'm going to go back to my doctor to see what else I can use.


May I ask what brand? I have investigated the types of topical applications and I have seen some that incorporate DMSO for better absorption rate(s). DMSO can be irritating to some folks.

Also, just estrogen may not help. A blood panel will give you the information you need. In my wife's case, we found out that her body was producing absolutely no hormones....no progesterone, estrogen, and testosterone.

Now that she is using all 3, she is back to her old self and she is feeling terrific. HTH.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
Just addressing the sex part. 

Do you use lubricant if you are dry? There are vibrators you can used while having intercourse that may help. 

My wife is in her 50s and has some of these issues, but I spend a long time on foreplay, and often use a vibrator before intercourse to get her aroused. 

You can also skip intercourse and do other sexual things together that are not uncomfortable for you.


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## fitchick1961 (May 5, 2015)

I used Premarin, and since I was noticing I was feeling sore there for no reason, I figured had to be Premarin, only new thing. I read it can cause vaginitis or yeast infection.
my doctor didn't mention anything about bloodwork, I will bring it up. Yes I got 2 different lubricants, I tr to stay away from ones with menthol, don't like the sensation. But have been trying to find one that helps with sensation,I just went to drugstore. Anywhere else to buy them?


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

Try coconut oil.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

fitchick1961 said:


> I used Premarin, and since I was noticing I was feeling sore there for no reason, I figured had to be Premarin, only new thing. I read it can cause vaginitis or yeast infection.
> my doctor didn't mention anything about bloodwork, I will bring it up. Yes I got 2 different lubricants, I tr to stay away from ones with menthol, don't like the sensation. But have been trying to find one that helps with sensation,I just went to drugstore. Anywhere else to buy them?


Yes you should get blood work done because you want to have the right hormones being replaces at the right amount. If your body isn't producing testosterone, you'd want to replace that, but if you are producing it, you don't want to add more! Blood work to test for hormones is basic care in menopause GYN care! 

Lubrication: use pure, unrefined coconut oil. It comes in a jar and is actually a solid, like crisco. It has a very low melting point, 77deg. It is very very mild on your skin and is also a moisturizer. I've used MANY different lubricants and coconut oil is the only lubricant that doesn't irritate my vag. You can buy it in the grocery store.

However, if your vag lining is thinning out you really need to find an estrogen cream that works for you. There are a few different brands and there is also a plastic estrogen infused ring that stays inside your vag for 3 months that topically replaces the estrogen and increases natural lubrication, though not much, and plumps up your vag lining.

So it sounds like the physical distance of not sleeping together really did a number on your marriage. So now you both know just how vital physical touch is to bonding two people together! 

I know how hard it is to talk about sex what you like, what works for you, what you want, but you have to do this with your H if you want to save this marriage. He needs to physically be with you to bond with you but if you're not enjoying it or feeling rushed or whatever, you have to be honest so you two can work through it..together!

Initiating sex may not be tops on your list, but there may be other ways. You could light a candle letting him know you would like sex. You could send him dirty text messages or pics of your boobies with an invitation to play. These are all ways you let your man know sex is on the menu for the night, though it leaves it up to him to physically get it started. Maybe something like this will work for you?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

That 40%-43% for women who have experience some kind of sexual dysfunction at some time... not that they experience it all the time.

About 40 percent of women and 30 percent of men experience sexual dysfunction, a rate much higher than previously believed, according to a new study by researchers at the University and the Robert Wood Johnson Medical School.

Researchers publish new study on sexual dysfunction

Many Women Suffer Sex Problems: Study - ABC News 

Young Men Also Experience Sexual Dysfunction - ABC News


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

fitchick1961 said:


> And oh yeah, sure sleeping with a bunch of men will cure my problems, lol, not, how ridiculous


Yea that will fix things. I love pseudo science... :rofl:


Other than that, you are getting some good input on things to do like seeing your doctor, etc. to handle any physical issues. 

Also you might want to consider sex therapy for both of you. 

Somewhere, in a box in my garage (just moved), I have this wonderful book. I think it would help you. Our bodies work differently after 50: 
Sex Over 50


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## LisaKane (Jun 26, 2015)

Ladies, this from a lady...sex is a part of marriage..if you don't like that...don't get married. I would think this is a deal breaker. Good luck.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

LisaKane said:


> Ladies, this from a lady...sex is a part of marriage..if you don't like that...don't get married. I would think this is a deal breaker. Good luck.


Who are the "Ladies" that you are talking to?


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> Do you expect him to look into your closet and initiate a shoe shopping trip for this years fashions? Of course not, it's not on his radar at all. But if you bring it up and ask him nicely, he might go with you to shop. I said might....



*So wait a minute...* I'm not good at hints, but if I want to unlock happiness for my wife and get the keys to her heart.... you are telling me that this little chrome thingy on her keychain is a shoe???? A Shoe!!!! Seriously.... I thought it was a bottle opener. 










OK Anon Pink, I am going to test this!!!! I am going to wake up in the morning and tell her lets go to the outlets, take her shoe shopping AND for ice-cream afterwards. 


Sorry fitchick1961 for stealing your thread, but I think Anon Pink just dropped the keys to the kingdom of what it really takes for us guys to make our wives crazy for us again. 

Seriously! Women... what do you want.. "I don't know, what do you want?" and all this time it was SHOES!!!!

Holy Sh** Batman!! So this is what a woman in a serious shoe closet looks like?










(sound of badsanta's car peeling out of the driveway to go buy shoes in the morning....)


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## LisaKane (Jun 26, 2015)

EleGirl said:


> Who are the "Ladies" that you are talking to?


If there are marriages which are compromised to not include sex that is different, but most of us expect sex and plenty of it. Sorry if that upsets you but marriage without sex is friendship,to most of us.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

LisaKane said:


> If there are marriages which are compromised to not include sex that is different, but most of us expect sex and plenty of it. Sorry if that upsets you but marriage without sex is friendship,to most of us.


You're preaching to the choir here.

However having sex is a lot different than cooking dinner.


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## LisaKane (Jun 26, 2015)

Anon Pink said:


> You're preaching to the choir here.
> 
> However having sex is a lot different than cooking dinner.


To me sex is easier and more fulfilling than cooking dinner. Maybe I'm odd or an idiot?


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> However having sex is a lot different than cooking dinner.


Pfft...Speak for yourself, but when I cook dinner...It's an experience, k?  *grin*


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

LisaKane said:


> If there are marriages which are compromised to not include sex that is different, but most of us expect sex and plenty of it. Sorry if that upsets you but marriage without sex is friendship,to most of us.


Why on earth would it upset me that most marriages generally include sex. It's one of the things that I like about marriage.


I was just wondering why you thought it necessary to address 'ladies' as though the 'ladies' on this thread do not get that and needed to be schooled.

We don't as a rule.

Did you know that men choose to make marriages sexless at about the same rate as women do? That's right, about 20% of marriages are sexless, and half of those are because the husband does not want sex with is wife.

We get a lot of women here with this problem in their marriages. A lot of us deal with this problem just as a lot of men do.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

LisaKane said:


> Ladies, this from a lady...sex is a part of marriage..if you don't like that...don't get married. I would think this is a deal breaker. Good luck.


Huh? Most of the Ladies here are into sex. What are you on about?


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## LisaKane (Jun 26, 2015)

Sorry I hurt feelings. I just was doing my view. Sex is good. Not sure what the outrage is about. All is well. My apologies for having my opinion. Wow. Ok off I go...don't have to worry about me anymore.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

LisaKane said:


> Sorry I hurt feelings. I just was doing my view. Sex is good. Not sure what the outrage is about. All is well. My apologies for having my opinion. Wow. Ok off I go...don't have to worry about me anymore.


Outrage is a tad hysterical. People are annoyed because you seem to think that us Ladies don't know how important sex is. So here is something for you, we do know how important it is, many of us love it and enjoy very healthy sex lives. Many of us would like to have better sex lives but sadly the men in our lives are not that into sex. 

If you are going to preach to us then maybe you could tell everyone, men and women how important a good, healthy, balanced, respectful sex life is. The onus is on both genders not just us Ladies.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

View attachment 35714


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> Who are the "Ladies" that you are talking to?


"That's no lady, that's my wife!" - old vaudeville routine.


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## fitchick1961 (May 5, 2015)

Yeah, I have never said I dont like sex, I do a lot, it's just I'm having difficulty with it at present. I Didn't go into my marriage not liking or wanting to have sex, a lot of things happened. I know sex is an important part of a marriage. I don't think anything I've posted or any of the replies inferred that it wasn't. We had sex last night. Hubby gave me an awesome backrub, I used a lubricant I have which is pretty good. I Was ok with his fingers, but when we started to have sex, it was painful, I wasn't dry, so wasn't that. This is completely new, I have never had these type of issues before. It's very frustrating, guess I just figured we'd pick up where we left off, guess not :frown2:. Also my gyne never even suggested bloodwork so when I go back I'll mention it.


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## Todd (Jun 13, 2015)

Anon Pink said:


> Lubrication: use pure, unrefined coconut oil. It comes in a jar and is actually a solid, like crisco. It has a very low melting point, 77deg. It is very very mild on your skin and is also a moisturizer. I've used MANY different lubricants and coconut oil is the only lubricant that doesn't irritate my vag. You can buy it in the grocery store.


Something called Ayr nasal gel can be used as a vaginal lubricant. It's meant for the nose but also works well.

http://bfascher.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/ag.png

It comes in a small tube so it travels easily too.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

badsanta said:


> *So wait a minute...* I'm not good at hints, but if I want to unlock happiness for my wife and get the keys to her heart.... you are telling me that this little chrome thingy on her keychain is a shoe???? A Shoe!!!! Seriously.... I thought it was a bottle opener.
> 
> 
> 
> ...





So.................how did it go..........? Any puncture wounds on your ass?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

fitchick1961 said:


> Yeah, I have never said I dont like sex, I do a lot, it's just I'm having difficulty with it at present. I Didn't go into my marriage not liking or wanting to have sex, a lot of things happened. I know sex is an important part of a marriage. I don't think anything I've posted or any of the replies inferred that it wasn't. We had sex last night. Hubby gave me an awesome backrub, I used a lubricant I have which is pretty good. I Was ok with his fingers, but when we started to have sex, it was painful, I wasn't dry, so wasn't that. This is completely new, I have never had these type of issues before. It's very frustrating, guess I just figured we'd pick up where we left off, guess not :frown2:. Also my gyne never even suggested bloodwork so when I go back I'll mention it.




Be sure to tell you GYN about painful penetration even with lubrication. It's either very thin vaginal lining or pelvic floor problems that will require physical therapy. Do not let this go. If penetration is painful frequently, this will only get worse without treatment. It won't go away on its own.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Melvynman said:


> Your problem is very common. 43% of America women are sexually dysfunctional! 54% of women in relationships have affairs, it is safe to say they are not sexually dysfunctional! You were brought up to believe one man for one women for life and its called marriage. Mother nature design you to mother 3 to 5 children all by different fathers. Staying monogamous for life most likely will lead to sexual dysfunction. A few thousand years of males controlling the reproductive rights women does change millions of years of evolution. You have been brain-washed and screwed for control your reproductive organs.


Yah, we are still really apes who want to swing from tree to tree and 'swing' from partner to partner............:bsflag:


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

Good evening,

I am wondering what (if any) therapy you've had for your sexual abuse history. If you've had trouble talking about or initiating sex, then it seems to have some work to do in this area.

I would suggest that if you really want this to work then you need to bring your healthiest self to the table. You've gotten good advice here on improving yourself physically and behaviorally. What are you doing to improve your emotional readiness to meet your husband's needs?


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## fitchick1961 (May 5, 2015)

I'm pretty sure I posted in an above reply, I was in IC for the sexual abuse issues. It was for about 5 years, I did a lot of work, and I'm comfortable that in that area I'm healthy.hubby knows all about it. I'm much better now about verbalizing my sexual wants and needs to my husband. Iniating, I could still use some work, but it's getting better. I was just giving some background on why I had a lot of issues in beginning of our relationship.


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## truegirl (Jul 9, 2015)

Why do ya'll HD folks insist that us LD folks are just out for power or to hurt you in some way. I kick myself daily because I can't seem to be what my HD H wants, sexually. I can't seem to figure it out. I want to please him. He's the only man I want (on the rare occasions that I want sex). Sex is just extremely difficult for me. Not painful. In addition, H is NEVER satisfied. It's hard to make yourself do something over and over, enjoy it some, get no other affirmation that you are good (or they are happy) for it, and then be asked to do it again. I'm so tired of feeling like I've let him down.


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## anonmd (Oct 23, 2014)

truegirl said:


> Why do ya'll HD folks insist that us LD folks are just out for power or to hurt you in some way. I kick myself daily because I can't seem to be what my HD H wants, sexually. I can't seem to figure it out. I want to please him. He's the only man I want (on the rare occasions that I want sex). Sex is just extremely difficult for me. Not painful. In addition, H is NEVER satisfied. It's hard to make yourself do something over and over, enjoy it some, get no other affirmation that you are good (or they are happy) for it, and then be asked to do it again. I'm so tired of feeling like I've let him down.


Have you always had little interest in sex? Or was your interest much higher earlier on?


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## truegirl (Jul 9, 2015)

I was a very curious child. But taught that sex was bad. I have worked on this and justified sex in marriage. But I've never had much of a sex drive.


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## anonmd (Oct 23, 2014)

Ok, not much to work with there and zero info in your profile.


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## Holdingontoit (Mar 7, 2012)

Do both of you a favor and free your H to find someone more compatible. You can go find a guy who isn't into sex. Maybe someone who is totally into his job / business. Or into working out. Win-win for both of you.


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