# Now he wants to sleep in our bed?? Really?



## ku1980rose (Sep 7, 2010)

So, married 15 months. No sex for a year. Almost a year with him choosing to sleep on the couch every night. And now he wants to come to sleep in our bed?? Now?? I thought we were going through a separation and a divorce?? And now he wants to come sleep in our bed after almost a year?? We have spent more time sleeping in separate rooms than sleeping together during our marriage. I don't even know how to sleep with him anymore. It makes me feel weird.


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## gearhead65 (Aug 25, 2011)

I thought that was what you wanted? Weren't you complaining about that in the beginning? If you want him around have him around if not you know where it leads.

GearHead


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## ku1980rose (Sep 7, 2010)

That's what I wanted before we began the process of divorce. And, part of me still wants us to have a relationship. However, it's normal for me to feel very weird about the whole thing. He's avoided me for so long. I don't even know how to be that close to him anymore.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Cue the sexy Marvin Gaye music and the champagne. So did u get it on? Kidding 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sadsoul101 (Oct 18, 2011)

I understand you feelings of confusion. It would be challenging to go from not sleeping together for a long period of time to jumping back into the world of intimacy.

Perhaps he realized that, deep down, he did not want to divorce and missed you.

Could this lead towards the road to recovery? Maybe you could figure out a way to build intimacy w/o jumping right into sleeping together again, if you are uncomfortable with it. An example might be to cuddle for a few hours at night or watch movies in bed together, to adjust to the change.

Good luck and I wish you all the best.


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## ku1980rose (Sep 7, 2010)

Thanks! It was ok last night. Weird sleeping in the same bed, but I slept ok. We'll see if he sticks with it.


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## ku1980rose (Sep 7, 2010)

So, it lasted about 10 days and last night he slept in front of the tv again. I haven't said anything to him because I know he'll just say he "accidentally fell asleep", which could be true, but that's the same thing he said a year ago when he started sleeping on the couch. And then "accidentally fell asleep" turned into an every night thing. I am pretty sure he slept out there on purpose because he had been moody and ignoring me all day. We went out of town Friday because neither of us had to work. We went to a nearby town and shopped and went to a movie. Stayed overnight so we could go out and have drinks and not have to drive home. We returned to the hotel from one place and we were going to go somewhere else, but then he got moody and said he didn't want to go anywhere else. I changed into my pj's and when I came back out he was gone. I looked for him and he was playing video games and pool in the hotel recreation area. What????? I just don't get him. The next day he was cranky and moody and wouldn't talk to me. I brought it up on the way home and he said he was upset because I was last night. I told him I wasn't. And then he said it doesn't matter anyway because there's nothing I can do about it. ?????? I just don't get him. When we went to counseling, the counselor talked about him sharing his feelings with me, even if he thought it was nothing, but he still never does. Because he was back in our bed, I was trying to give it a chance, but then he pulls this same stupid crap. A day later, and he's still acting like that. I hate feeling trapped inside my own home. I hate feeling like I have to stay in my bedroom all day just because he is upset. He does nothing but watch football and stomp around the house. I was cleaning earlier and he got upset because I was cleaning some of his stuff up out of the guest room. 

I don't get it. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I guess just bide my time until I can leave in January. Ignore him like he ignores me.


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