# New, first post and confused



## Confused68 (Aug 11, 2014)

Don't even know if I'm in the right place or even right forum so if not please feel free to point me in the right direction or show me to the door.

Married 13 years to an amazing woman (we're in our late 40's). We have a great marriage, active and full sex life. That said something happened that I just can't get out of my mind and it's troubling me.

I'll save a lot of the detail here, however, if you need me to fill in any blanks let me know. Short and sweet version, my wife and I were out a couple weekends ago, drinks, nice dinner and then to a "club". Outside of my view, wife ran into someone and I guess he flirted with her, maybe she flirted with him who knows. I'm in the restroom and I hear these two young guys (25ish) talking about an "older" woman one of them had briefly met, he was obviously taken by her from a milf perspective.

Later that evening I go to get drinks, come back to the area we're seated at and see the guy from the bathroom talking to my wife. She introduces us, he leaves, I ask who he was and she said, "just some kid I ran into earlier." The "milf" he was talking about in the bathroom was my wife!

Anyway, I've had some very strange thoughts rattling around in my head ever since e.g. was she really flirting with this guy and worse, much worse. Things like picturing them together sexually; when we were making love the other night imagining him in my position and other things of this nature. I've never had thoughts like this before and I just can't seem to get them out of my head.

I don't want to mention this to my wife, I just want to understand why I'm having these thoughts and how do I make them go away.

Anyone else ever been in a similar situation?


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Are these angry thoughts, or arousing thoughts?


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## confused801 (Aug 8, 2014)

Yes, but only because my wife is not that into me (hence me being on this site) If you guys are that active and in what sounds to be a very good and healthy marriage, you need to chalk this up to "young buck made your wife feel good about herself" The fact that she introduced you probably just means that she would not think you to get jealous. Jeolousy is crazy thing when you let it creep in. Unless you have some real reasons to beleive she is capable of acting on this. dont worry about it, really! This could lead to much bigger problems.


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## Confused68 (Aug 11, 2014)

Hope1964 said:


> Are these angry thoughts, or arousing thoughts?


Good question and sorry I left that out. These are "arousing" thoughts and feelings. That's what's so confusing about the whole thing.


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## Confused68 (Aug 11, 2014)

confused801 said:


> Yes, but only because my wife is not that into me (hence me being on this site) If you guys are that active and in what sounds to be a very good and healthy marriage, you need to chalk this up to "young buck made your wife feel good about herself" The fact that she introduced you probably just means that she would not think you to get jealous. Jeolousy is crazy thing when you let it creep in. Unless you have some real reasons to beleive she is capable of acting on this. dont worry about it, really! This could lead to much bigger problems.


Generally I'm not a jealous person. We have a strong marriage, my wife is attractive and has been hit on before (far more blatant than this) and I've never had any concerns or jealous feeling, or these feelings for that matter. That's what's throwing me here.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Confused68 said:


> Good question and sorry I left that out. These are "arousing" thoughts and feelings. That's what's so confusing about the whole thing.


I think that what you're describing is actually pretty common. It's called a cuckold fantasy IIRC. Our brains go to some really weird places sometimes with respect to sex, and just because we have a fantasy about something does NOT mean we actually want it to happen or that it ever WILL happen.

I wouldn't worry too much about it.


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## ladymisato (Aug 5, 2014)

Confused68 said:


> Generally I'm not a jealous person. We have a strong marriage, my wife is attractive and has been hit on before (far more blatant than this) and I've never had any concerns or jealous feeling, or these feelings for that matter. That's what's throwing me here.


My guess: your wife enjoyed the attention from the young man. She might even have enjoyed making you a little jealous. It meant nothing more to her than that.

There is a sexual fantasy among some men: cuckolding. It's a horrible idea for all the obvious reasons and then some, but there it is.


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## Confused68 (Aug 11, 2014)

Hope1964 said:


> I think that what you're describing is actually pretty common. It's called a cuckold fantasy IIRC. Our brains go to some really weird places sometimes with respect to sex, and just because we have a fantasy about something does NOT mean we actually want it to happen or that it ever WILL happen.
> 
> I wouldn't worry too much about it.


Looked this up and while I see they're in the same vein, not quite what I'm thinking. Whoa!! 



ladymisato said:


> My guess: your wife enjoyed the attention from the young man. She might even have enjoyed making you a little jealous. It meant nothing more to her than that.
> 
> There is a sexual fantasy among some men: cuckolding. It's a horrible idea for all the obvious reasons and then some, but there it is.


See above, and yes I agree, horrible idea!


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## Hacker (Jul 14, 2014)

Dont worry about it, because you get to take her home.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

you know, I would be pretty proud if some 25 y.o. stud was hitting on my wife. And would not be surprised if she was talking to him back. It is a powerful re-inforcement to have men thinking you are attractive/sexy. So long as they do not get on the dance floor for some slow dancing, or duck out to the parking lot...I would give her some slack.

Did it have a positive effect in your bedroom after you two made it home? I would think she would be hot and ready for some daddy-love after that!


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## calamityjim (Jul 18, 2014)

murphy5 said:


> you know, I would be pretty proud if some 25 y.o. stud was hitting on my wife. And would not be surprised if she was talking to him back. It is a powerful re-inforcement to have men thinking you are attractive/sexy. So long as they do not get on the dance floor for some slow dancing, or duck out to the parking lot...I would give her some slack.


:iagree:


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## I Don't Know (Oct 8, 2013)

murphy5 said:


> you know, I would be pretty proud if some 25 y.o. stud was hitting on my wife. And would not be surprised if she was talking to him back. It is a powerful re-inforcement to have men thinking you are attractive/sexy. So long as they do not get on the dance floor for some slow dancing, or duck out to the parking lot...I would give her some slack.
> 
> Did it have a positive effect in your bedroom after you two made it home? I would think she would be hot and ready for some daddy-love after that!


Yep. I think this is it. You saw your wife as hotter because a younger guy was hitting on her. Doesn't have to mean anything other than that.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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