# Need some advice....



## Simple Man (Apr 8, 2009)

I will keep this simple....
I have been married for twenty two years now.....The marriage has always seemed a bit one sided as far as my wife would not drive or work and I asked her several times to do both as it would help our family. Then two years ago she had an affair with a old friend from High school she found online they talked alot on line and he drove into town a few times and one of those times she had him in our home and had sex with him...I found all this out and asked her to stop after a month or so it did.... I tried to move on and forgive but found it hard to do so. My father then feel ill again from his cancer and I would spend the days at work and the nights with him in the hospital taking care of him and alerting nurses if he needed anything. I came home one night and found here asleep with the computer on and email open she was at it again with a new guy...I told here it was over...she seemed sorry and wanted to make it better....but that's it it never has seemed to get better I have trouble forgetting what happen and I still ask her to work and drive and she does neither. I told her I was leaving I wanted a separation...she says we have to be together to work this out...but I feel time apart may be best I would like any input on this what so ever...I am at my wits end...I think she is a mental terrorist. There arew a few more details but I wanted to keep it simple... Thanks all


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## findingpeace (Mar 14, 2009)

Sorry to hear about the affair my wifes affair crippled me without trust it is very difficult to have a relationship your wife as well as my wife dont see that point and arent doing what it takes to rebuild the trust its like they want both worlds but that cant and never will work all i can say is you will never be able to put any logic to it an affair is really just a fantacy people who cheat need to have a wake up call after my wife moved out her life became very difficult and she realized she made a huge mistake now she cant get past the guilt and shame she feels emarassed and cant face my friends and family in your case a seperation might be ok but i will warn you it could force your wife into another mans arms and then you will have a bigger mess then you have now you both have to decide waht you want and what is it that is going to get you there well good luck and God bless


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

FP,
You will never find peace with a woman who acts like your wife. As for separation "forcing her" into the arms of another man. How about since she keeps doing that anyway that maybe let the other man pay for her/drive her around since he is already sleeping with her.




findingpeace said:


> Sorry to hear about the affair my wifes affair crippled me without trust it is very difficult to have a relationship your wife as well as my wife dont see that point and arent doing what it takes to rebuild the trust its like they want both worlds but that cant and never will work all i can say is you will never be able to put any logic to it an affair is really just a fantacy people who cheat need to have a wake up call after my wife moved out her life became very difficult and she realized she made a huge mistake now she cant get past the guilt and shame she feels emarassed and cant face my friends and family in your case a seperation might be ok but i will warn you it could force your wife into another mans arms and then you will have a bigger mess then you have now you both have to decide waht you want and what is it that is going to get you there well good luck and God bless


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## AlexNY (Dec 10, 2009)

She is beneath contempt.

Kick her out of the house, and never deal with her again. She is dirt.


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## Simple Man (Apr 8, 2009)

I have been made to feel by her and family that I owe her because of the length of time we where together...I say did she not owe me the same...


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