# just found out



## jgloo34 (May 29, 2010)

Just learned my wife cheated on me with her long time friend... i found naked pics on her phone she had sent to him the other day.. she admitted she was not feeling loved by me (and I admit that) so she strayed with her friend.. I also told her that I received oral sex from a woman a few months ago.... so we have both done wrong.... i think hers is more serious because she had "feelings" for him.. she tells me she still wants to be friends with this guy..but just friends and nothing more... she said she regrets what she did.... I know both of us were missing something form the marriage and we werent putting work into the marriage.. I for example was putting way more time into my job... Should we break up now our see a marriage counselar.....I really want to save the marriage, she says she wants too...but I am not sure.... Should I end it now or see a qualified marriage counselar? Looking for help, never thought I would be in this position.


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## iamnottheonlyone (May 9, 2010)

Noone does think it will happen to them. Get help now. Do you have health insurance? Contact your insurer now. There may be no marriage counselors reasonably priced in your area or not covered on your policy. Is your marriage worth a $30 co-pay? Is it worth $150 per hour? Just get a therapist if marriage counselling isn't covered by your policy. 
The friend must go!!! Get a copy of His Needs, Her Needs by Harley. Hard copy is $20. You can download it also. Is your marriage worth $20? Read it now. I read it after may wife left. Boy are we men stupid. If you love her and want her to stay with you. Read it now!!
I am sure you will get some other really good advise from this forum. These people have been really good to me. DON'T DROP THE BALL.


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## notreadytoquit (Jan 11, 2010)

Welcome to the Club!

At least the two of you admitted to each other what you did and why. Get into therapy now and make sure you find a PRO Marriage counsellor. Change him/her if you have to.


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## Blue Moon (Sep 7, 2009)

Do you guys have kids? I would probably cut my losses and break it off. You both were wrong for cheating on each other and it seems like you're just going to keep hurting and mistrusting each other, especially since she wants to remain friends with a guy she cheated with and still has feelings for. 

Will you be able to sleep at night envisioning her cheating? At this point it doesn't matter who wronged who first or who is more wrong, you guys broke this thing unfortunately and should get to keep your sanity.


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