# Confused and Used???



## Temp402 (Dec 13, 2013)

I've found myself in a very odd situation and I'm not really knowing what to do, I don't know if this will help me find the answer that I'm seeking or will just help me vent but here goes...

In 2010 I had a really awesome relationship with a young man that lasted about 6 mons, things were getting serious and we were beginning to discuss marriage. He was very troubled and didn't have a very good past but was great with my kids and treated me like a queen. He was having a lot of emotional issues due to his mother dying shortly before I met him and as a result decided to take his life.

This threw me into a downward spiral of drinking and drug use my children had to go live with my aunt for awhile (which of course I was not proud of) and in the midst of all of my pain and confusion I meet a drifter, through a friend of mine that I soon become involved with regardless of warning from my family, I continued a relationship with this man for 8 mons and then finally married him a little over a year ago.

He is very lazy. He refuses to work, he's okay with my children but they have no respect for him and I really feel as if I'm being used by him, its embarrassing as many people in my family and my friends tell me he is using me as well. He's good to me and has been supportive emotionally but he flat put refuses to get a job and I work really hard to support him and my children. I have considered divorce many times, but this is where things become even weirder...I have an awesome job that I would never have been able to get on my own and his mother is my boss...she seems to be content and even encourages me to "take care of" her son. I feel that if I divorced her son she would fire me or get me fired somehow from my job because she's just that type of person. I've tried talking to him about it many times...we have had the same "get a job" conversations a million times over...when I tell him to leave and go stay somewhere else he calls his mother and I have to explain myself to her. I've gotten myself in a huge mess and I don't know what to do.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Find another job. 
Ditch the loser
Figure out why you keep getting into relationships with "broken men"

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ne9907 (Jul 17, 2013)

PBear said:


> Find another job.
> Ditch the loser
> Figure out why you keep getting into relationships with "broken men"
> 
> ...


:iagree:


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Talk to an attorney. Secure both your job and your divorce. You could frame it as you made a mistake, and then support him for a certain amount of time with palimony, and thus be 'nice' to him while looking around for another job. It's not like his mother is going to have any problems figuring out what's going on. With your history, I think maybe you're right, you will have trouble finding another job quickly, you need more time to establish a good record and build character references. Divorce could get ugly if you try to keep all the $ for yourself. Mommy might help him out...

But you did okay, you got a job and that's going to give you a leg up, and now that you know what it feels like to be relied upon in a big way, you're less likely to inflict that burden on anyone else needlessly. Your kids' trust is #1.


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