# Hello guys Im new to this site, I’m 27 years old & I’m interested in your thoughts!



## Socialbuttafly (Feb 3, 2020)

*Hello guys Im new to this site, I’m 27 years old & I’m interested in your thoughts!*

My husband don’t keep himself up like he use to when we first met, I’m 27 he is 37 and I’m not sexually attracted to him anymore I try to tell him to get a haircut or to do things to keep hygiene in tact, But he ignores me & i feel it’s only fair because I keep myself up at all times, im not shallow at all it’s just sometimes I want to want him and he is not making that easy, am I wrong for not wanting sex with him at all? I can’t make my body want him when I don’t want him. He is a great husband it’s just this sucks I feel like I’m suffering I really do and I don’t believe in cheating but stuff like this makes you weak.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

*Re: Hello guys Im new to this site, I’m 27 years old & I’m interested in your thought*

Sexual attraction isn't something you can't force... you can't make yourself be attracted to your husband, especially if he is letting hygiene fall by the wayside. Appearance (and smell!) plays a huge part in attraction, and if your partner doesn't take care of himself, it stands to reason that your attraction would wane. I don't believe that attraction fades over time, though there are people who would tell you otherwise... I know lots of older people who still find their partners attractive, despite decades of familiarity, wrinkles, thinning hair, and other physical trappings of age.

I also believe that we owe it to ourselves, out of self-respect, and to our partners, out of live and respect for them, to continue to take care of ourselves physically. After all, what you present to the world is a reflection of how you view yourself (self-respect), and your partner isn't going to enjoy spending time with someone who smells bad, or has bad breath, or is sloppy/wearing dirty or ill-fitting clothes. 

That being said, I have a couple questions. How long has this been going on? You mentioned that he doesn't cut his hair, but what else is he [not] doing? Was it sudden, or gradual? Is there anything else going on with him and/or your relationship that might be of concern?

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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

*Re: Hello guys Im new to this site, I’m 27 years old & I’m interested in your thought*

PS I'm sorry to hear you're dealing with this. I had a similar problem with my XH, and I understand how frustrating this can be.

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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

*Re: Hello guys Im new to this site, I’m 27 years old & I’m interested in your thought*



Socialbuttafly said:


> My husband don’t keep himself up like he use to when we first met, I’m 27 he is 37 and I’m not sexually attracted to him anymore I try to tell him to get a haircut or to do things to keep hygiene in tact, But he ignores me & i feel it’s only fair because I keep myself up at all times, *im not shallow* at all it’s just sometimes I want to want him and he is not making that easy, am I wrong for not wanting sex with him at all? I can’t make my body want him when I don’t want him. He is a great husband it’s just this sucks I feel like *I’m suffering* I really do and I don’t believe in cheating but stuff like this makes you weak.


Is this what you'll tell your friends and family once you eventually do cheat, get caught and are going through a divorce?

''Seems'' like you're already re-writing history to justify future actions.

^^^I used scare quotes because I really have no idea....not enough info to base an opinion on.

With additional details, I may amend my post.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

*Re: Hello guys Im new to this site, I’m 27 years old & I’m interested in your thought*



OnTheFly said:


> Is this what you'll tell your friends and family once you eventually do cheat, get caught and are going through a divorce?
> 
> ''Seems'' like you're already re-writing history to justify future actions.
> 
> ...


So she's rewriting history to claim he has poor hygiene when he really has great hygiene?

I'm curious as to how you've come to this conclusion. Poor hygiene is pretty universally understood.


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

*Re: Hello guys Im new to this site, I’m 27 years old & I’m interested in your thought*



lifeistooshort said:


> So she's rewriting history to claim he has poor hygiene when he really has great hygiene?
> 
> *I'm curious as to how you've come to this conclusion.* Poor hygiene is pretty universally understood.


By the lack of details.

The post was so vague, it's impossible to make an assessment, dontcha think?

Maybe the dude wears Russel Crow in Gladiator length hair, but she prefers Stathem length?

Maybe he looks like a caveman with cheeto dust in his beard? 

Maybe he works in an office and has vicious coffee breath at the end of the day?

Maybe he works a physical job and has working man odour?

So, any opinion I have is as valid as any opinion anyone else has. With more details comes better answers.

You misunderstood what I meant about the re-writing history part.


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## Arkansas (Jan 30, 2020)

*Re: Hello guys Im new to this site, I’m 27 years old & I’m interested in your thought*

were you EVER attracted to him ? sex good? was it ever good ?


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

*Re: Hello guys Im new to this site, I’m 27 years old & I’m interested in your thought*

@Socialbuttafly, did you ever tell him FLAT OUT that him being unhygenic/etc. is a HUGE turn off for you and that you don't even want to have sex with him? I know you said you've talked about haircuts, but have told him directly?
If so, what did he say?


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

*Re: Hello guys Im new to this site, I’m 27 years old & I’m interested in your thought*

I'm wondering if the OP has left the building. 

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## Tilted 1 (Jul 23, 2019)

*Re: Hello guys Im new to this site, I’m 27 years old & I’m interested in your thought*



OnTheFly said:


> By the lack of details.
> 
> The post was so vague, it's impossible to make an assessment, dontcha think?
> 
> ...


Could be never really know what validation someone is looking for. Just saying''


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