# Routine



## ArkansasFloors33 (Apr 11, 2021)

*Hey guys not sure where to start honestly as I am lost. My wife and I have been married 10 years now and im 33 and she is 48, our sex and marriage has always been great really up until the past year give or take. I wouldn't ever do anything to mess our marriage up and i love this woman with everything in this world. Now she never initiates anything hardly and if we do its the same ol thing everytime. I have tried to get her to try anything new with me in bed to help us but with no luck except i do notice excitement on certain things but when i try to get her to be freaky or her to do what will make her wild she just always has a excuse. i tell her vocally what i like and that I would do anything for our life to be back the way it wAS.*


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Maybe your wife is going through menopause? The average age is between 45 and 55...


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## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

Have you spoken with her about it?


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Your body is not their body.
You are horny, they are thorny.

You want to get off, they want you to get out.

I left out the gender pronouns.
Fill in those yourself!


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

I know it doesn't help your situation any but like you, I married someone older than me and I am not sure it was the best thing to do. Her sex fuel tank ran out before mine did.


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## woodyh (Oct 23, 2015)

Could be menopause coming on. My wife was never real sexual, but after menopause, zero. We still have a little sex, but not much. She says if the never had sex again it would be ok with her. For some women, it does come back though.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

woodyh said:


> Could be menopause coming on. My wife was never real sexual, but after menopause, zero. We still have a little sex, but not much. She says if the never had sex again it would be ok with her. For some women, it does come back though.


Like my wife... add anti-depressants to the mix, and her sex drive completely vanished...


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

Please lose the bold type. It's hard to read.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

woodyh said:


> She says if the never had sex again it would be ok with her.


Oh heck no. That is starting out with a trip to the MD and maybe follow ups. If everything seems good there then next stop is psychologist(s).


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> I know it doesn't help your situation any but like you, I married someone older than me and I am not sure it was the best thing to do. Her sex fuel tank ran out before mine did.





woodyh said:


> Could be menopause coming on. My wife was never real sexual, but after menopause, zero. We still have a little sex, but not much. She says if the never had sex again it would be ok with her. For some women, it does come back though.


While menopause cannot be ignored, it might not be an issue here, even if it has occurred/is occurring. My one wife's drive went down after menopause, but the other's took off. So OP, make sure you are covering all your bases.

@ArkansasFloors33 what is it that you are suggesting to your wife? Am I correct in understanding that she is showing interest when you bring up the activity, but then backs out when you try to do it? When you say "but when i try to get her to ... to do *what will make her wild* she just always has a excuse" are you refering to what has worked in the past, or are you making an assumption of some sort? What professional help have you tried?


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## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

The age gap is rearing its ugly head. With luck it's menopause, at least with that you'll have an explanation.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

You seem to have wrapped multiple problems into one here. It sounds like you have a problem with frequency and also quality (not sure how you define freaky) although perhaps quality is the natural result of duty sex when frequency is the real underlying issue.

You’re still a very young man.

So this has been going on for a year. She needs to get checked out by a MD to make sure there isn’t a physical problem.

If there is no physical issue then you’re going to have to look at your own behavior. There are great references for this including a site sponsor @dadstartingover his book is great, simple to understand, and can set you off with some ideas.

Let’s say you fix any unattractive behaviors and still nothing. You need to figure out your endgame and whether you want to leave.


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

ArkansasFloors33 said:


> im 33 and she is 48


The chick was doing what you now want her doing when you were playing ball in the sandlot. Like you'll be when you're looking at fifty, she ready for some easy riding. As far as leaving, I've always figured its a shytty move for younger men to ditch the older dames when the power level goes down. But when GILF marries a much younger guy, she should anticipate the ultimate outcome.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

VladDracul said:


> The chick was doing what you now want her doing when you were playing ball in the sandlot. Like you'll be when you're looking at fifty, she ready for some easy riding. As far as leaving, I've always figured its a shytty move for younger men to ditch the older dames when the power level goes down. But when GILF marries a much younger guy, sho should anticipate the ultimate outcome.


Vlad is concise lol


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I got a little confused when you were riding about trying to get her to do new things and thinking she was excited but then she didn't really want to do them so it sounds to me like there may be an issue there with what you're trying to do and it's getting out of her comfort zone. 

So I would have a talk with her about her ideal sexual scenario at this stage in her life. She already knows what you want so let's find out what she wants. She may just not want any pressure to keep pushing the envelope.

Of course it could certainly be hormones. It could also be depression or any number of things. It could be her life is so busy and hectic right now she doesn't feel relaxed enough to have sex because a lot of women are like that. Certainly if she feels menopause is coming on she should be going to the gynecologist anyway someone who knows something about hormone therapy and not just who birthed her babies because they don't keep up with stuff usually. She could get on hormone therapy But first you need to find out if she wants to or if she's just really comfortable letting this go. There will be hormone surges all the way through and after menopause. But I have found and being a woman that hormone surges are not the main reason a woman wants to have sex or doesn't want to have sex. It's usually just losing that chemistry edge that keeps you sexual when you first know someone. Not fun for anyone but that's life.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

ArkansasFloors33 said:


> *Hey guys not sure where to start honestly as I am lost. My wife and I have been married 10 years now and im 33 and she is 48, our sex and marriage has always been great really up until the past year give or take. I wouldn't ever do anything to mess our marriage up and i love this woman with everything in this world. Now she never initiates anything hardly and if we do its the same ol thing everytime. I have tried to get her to try anything new with me in bed to help us but with no luck except i do notice excitement on certain things but when i try to get her to be freaky or her to do what will make her wild she just always has a excuse. i tell her vocally what i like and that I would do anything for our life to be back the way it wAS.*


The most likely reality is what you probably already know it is. It's going to get worse from here not better. You married and almost 40 year old when you were in your early twenties. No in you early 30s you married to an almost 50 year old. When you're in your early 40s she will be almost 60. You see it was bound to be the case that you would be in a spot that you would have a normal healthy male sex drive and hers will be much much lower if it doesn't just vanish completely. I really doubt it will ever be back the way it was. You might get flashes of it a couple weeks here and there, but over time it will get worse and worse is my guess. If you hope to stay with her for the rest of her life then you are going to have to get your expectations in check and mentally prepare yourself for many many years of sexual mismatch.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Why did you marry a woman 15 years older??

Now she is going into menopause and may lose all drive and interest is sex, just as you are coming into your peak sexual market value.

At 33, you could probably get 25 year old women that will still have 20+ years of healthy sexdrive left. 

Yes, HRT could give your wife a number of years of libido, but then you will be 40 and could still get women 10 years younger as long as you’re gainfully employed and don’t get fat. 

You are fighting a losing battle that has a 100,000 years of evolution stacked against you here. 

She was lucky to have you as long as she did.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

oldshirt said:


> Why did you marry a woman 15 years older??
> 
> Now she is going into menopause and may lose all drive and interest is sex, just as you are coming into your peak sexual market value.
> 
> ...


I have to say I agree. And, it goes the other way, too, women marrying men much older than themselves can often lose out sexually, too. 

There's something to be said for partnering with someone in a reasonable age range to yourself.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

ArkansasFloors33 said:


> ...but when i try to get her to be freaky or her to do what will make her wild she just always has a excuse....


Apparently she really likes it when you play hard to get, but you are really bad at that game (me as well).

Cheers, 
Badsanta


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Get her to see a Gyn or Endocrinologist who specializes in HRT. Both of you will be happy with the results.


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