# In need of advice!!!!



## themrsloveshermr (Feb 20, 2014)

Ok. Im at my wits end. I dont know what to do anymore. My husband and I have been married going on 5 years now. I love my husband VERY much, but when it comes to sex, we're lacking. I have an incredibly high sex drive. And his has seemed to dwindle. We are a very health conscience couple. Very much into fitness. And he has gained a bit of weight. Nothing much, at least not in my eyes. But for him, its a major deal. He doesnt feel attractive so in turn, he doesnt show the affection that I want and need. I know when he doesnt feel his best, and I try everything i can think of to let him know that Im still very much so attracted to him. Little extra weight and all. I compliment him all the time. I write little love letters, sweet and dirty, and slip them into his pocket so he can find them at work. Send him text messages throughout the day just to let him know he's on my mind. And when we do have sex, my entire focus is on his pleasure. But it doesnt seem to do any good. 

I just recently had a child, and feeling undesirable myself because I know my body isnt back to normal yet. Yet he doesnt seem to notice, or care. He's so consumed in his pity party he doesnt see how its affecting me. I just really want my husband back. We've always had an amazing relationship. And when we do have sex, its dynamite. I just wish it wasnt so hard to get him to do it right now. Is there something Im not doing? Should I just let him work through it himself? Should I wait and let him initiate sex????


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## MrHappy (Oct 23, 2008)

Unless he is OCD about his weight, he isn't telling you the truth. Men won't feel bad until 50+ lbs overweight. There isn't much you can do since it is HIS problem. You need to mention it to him. Maybe read the book "How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About it" to help trying to communicate what you want.
Has he had a full physical checkup lately? Maybe leave MMSLP book around but that is a wildshot.

I think a man should initiate the majority of the time.


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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

I guess he was always low drive?

I guess if it is not a physical health issue all you can do is talk about it and make sure that he understands what you need to stay content.


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