# Is this relationship anxiety I have?



## Confused84 (Nov 19, 2011)

Hi! I have been reading through some posts trying to figure out what exactly is wrong with me lol. Then I came across relationship anxiety. My first thought was "No way that's about me", then I began reading some of them and now I'm questioning if I have it or not. 

My wonderful husband and I have been together for 6 years. We have two beautiful girls and for the most part we were happy. Less than a month ago we seperated. ( Totally different story) He said he couldn't take my depression anymore. So I went to the doctor and finally got put on Welbutrin. It seems to be working wonder's which is great, but I'm still going through some things.

I do love him so much but the past 6 years I have doubted everything. You see, I'm the biggest pessimist you will ever meet lol. I can never see the bright side to anything. I dwell on things from the past and I'm almost never happy about anything. My husband on the other hand is the biggest optimist you will ever meet. Lol I know it's like night and day. He see's the bright side to everything. I think that's why we split. I was getting on his nerves and he was getting on mine lol. The good thing is we have been talking and working through our problems. He even spends the night a few times a week so I feel things are slowly getting better.

Every relationship I had before him included lying or cheating. You name it. So for the past 6 years I kept thinking "What makes him so different from the other jerks I'v dated?" He has never once lied to me or cheated on me or anything. He's never gave me any reason that he didn't want to be with me. In my mind though, I feel like any day something is going to happen because that's just my luck. My father was an alcoholic which is where alot of my insecurities lye. I have recently joined an AA group for family members of alcoholics.

I am trying very hard to get help and become a happier person, and I can tell I have. I tell my friends I feel like the Grinch at the end of the movie when his heart gets bigger and he becomes nicer lol. 

Is there anyway to let go of this anxiety I have about him? He is a very good man and a wonderful father and I want nothing more than for us to start from scratch and be happy forever. I guess what I'm saying is, is there any way to learn how to trust people again? And not feel like the whole world is against you?

Thank you so very much for letting me vent lol! And thanks in advance for any advice


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## Uptown (Mar 27, 2010)

Confused, welcome to the TAM forum. Yes, there are excellent treatment programs available all over the country. One of them is Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), a system of therapy originally developed by Marsha M. Linehan who was a psychology researcher at the University of Washington. You can read about it at Dialectical behavior therapy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. There are several other successful treatments as well. As with the members of any profession, psychologists vary greatly in their skill sets. It therefore is important to do some research so you get referred to a psych who is good for you.


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## Confused84 (Nov 19, 2011)

Thank you very much Uptown for that information. I'll be sure to look into it although I feel like my AA meeting have been helping alot. Maybe I could use some one on one time with someone.


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