# Feeling Guilty About Taking a Stand



## njdad (Mar 29, 2012)

Wife hit me with I want a divorce/don't love you anymore about 2 months ago. Despite my best efforts, she hasn't budged from that position and is still intent on getting a divorce. We have started to talk about how to split things up. These are hard conversations for me b/c I don't want this, but I try my best. When it came to the house, I took a stand and said that I did not want to be the one to move out -- this is our family's house, she will always be welcome, but if she wants the divorce, she could move out. I felt pretty strongly about this, but also feel pretty guilty. Part of me feels like I am putting her out on the street, even though the choice is hers. I also worry that she will think it is a jerk move and be less likely to reconcile b/c of it. Of course, it might also show her that life on her own isn't all that it's cracked up to be. Anyone have similar feelings out there?


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## Wildflower3 (Nov 20, 2011)

I agree with your move. Since she's the one who wants it, she can be the one to leave. It's hard to think straight when separation/divorce is still so raw. I have VERY similar feelings and it's been six months for me. At first, he wanted dinner at the table 3 nights a week as a "family" - everything to be the same, except, we weren't married. It was hard to move on emotionally that way, so, I put an end to it, with fears that it may hurt some miracle reconciliation in the future. However, it's best to make tough decisions like that to help us move on and be happy. I think you did the right thing. May seem like a jerk move to her, but she'll get it eventually.


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## I want the kids! (Apr 17, 2012)

I'm not a pro or anything but I have had a crash course. My wife pulled this 3 weeks ago. We filed last week. I too held on and am still holding on a little but you have to just cut the cord. Tell her if she doesn't file you will.

I think you need to do the 180 too. It is to help you cope and move on.

Good luck and feel free to read my post. Sounds very much like you.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

File for divorce and do the 180.

The link is down below my post here.


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## jenny123 (Mar 21, 2012)

My H is the one that wants the separation. He made himself comfortable in the spare room upstairs, bought a big screen tv and hung it on the wall. The tension is so bad we don't even talk. I told him he has to leave. He is finally leaving after 6 weeks. It is not what I want, but it is the best thing for me in order to move on and heal. The kids will stay with me in the house. 
Do not feel bad. She wanted this, so she pays the consequences. Life is greener? She shall soon find out, just like my H.


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