# NPD could be BPD.. (IN SOME CASES) LONG POST BUT VERY IMPORTANT FOR ALL!!



## Just Tired Of It All (Oct 22, 2011)

*Narcissistic or Bipolar (In some cases MIMIC) IMPORTANT. Narcissist LONG!!*

The *manic phase of Bipolar I Disorder is often misdiagnosed as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).*Bipolar patients in the manic phase exhibit many of the signs and symptoms of pathological narcissism - hyperactivity, self-centeredness, lack of empathy, and control freakery. During this recurring chapter of the disease, the patient is euphoric, has grandiose fantasies, spins unrealistic schemes, and has frequent rage attacks (is irritable) if her or his wishes and plans are (inevitably) frustrated.
The manic phases of the bipolar disorder, however, are limited in time - NPD is not. Furthermore, the mania is followed by - usually protracted - depressive episodes. The narcissist is also frequently dysphoric. But whereas the bipolar sinks into deep self-deprecation, self-devaluation, unbounded pessimism, all-pervasive guilt and anhedonia - the narcissist, even when depressed, never forgoes his narcissism: his grandiosity, sense of entitlement, haughtiness, and lack of empathy.
Narcissistic dysphorias are much shorter and reactive - they constitute a response to the Grandiosity Gap. In plain words, the narcissist is dejected when confronted with the abyss between his inflated self-image and grandiose fantasies - and the drab reality of his life: his failures, lack of accomplishments, disintegrating interpersonal relationships, and low status. Yet, one dose of Narcissistic Supply is enough to elevate the narcissists from the depth of misery to the heights of manic euphoria.
Not so with the bipolar. The source of her or his mood swings is assumed to be brain biochemistry - not the availability of Narcissistic Supply. Whereas the narcissist is in full control of his faculties, even when maximally agitated, the bipolar often feels that s/he has lost control of his/her brain ("flight of ideas"), his/her speech, his/her attention span (distractibility), and his/her motor functions.
The bipolar is prone to reckless behaviors and substance abuse only during the manic phase. The narcissist does drugs, drinks, gambles, shops on credit, indulges in unsafe sex or in other compulsive behaviors both when elated and when deflated.
As a rule, the bipolar's manic phase interferes with his/her social and occupational functioning. Many narcissists, in contrast, reach the highest rungs of their community, church, firm, or voluntary organization. Most of the time, they function flawlessly - though the inevitable blowups and the grating extortion of Narcissistic Supply usually put an end to the narcissist's career and social liaisons.
The manic phase of bipolar sometimes requires hospitalization and - more frequently than admitted - involves psychotic features. Narcissists are never hospitalized as the risk for self-harm is minute. Moreover, psychotic microepisodes in narcissism are decompensatory in nature and appear only under unendurable stress (e.g., in intensive therapy).
The bipolar's mania provokes discomfort in both strangers and in the patient's nearest and dearest. His/her constant cheer and compulsive insistence on interpersonal, sexual, and occupational, or professional interactions engenders unease and repulsion. Her/his lability of mood - rapid shifts between uncontrollable rage and unnatural good spirits - is downright intimidating. The narcissist's gregariousness, by comparison, is calculated, "cold", controlled, and goal-orientated (the extraction of Narcissistic Supply). His cycles of mood and affect are far less pronounced and less rapid.
The bipolar's swollen self-esteem, overstated self-confidence, obvious grandiosity, and delusional fantasies are akin to the narcissist's and are the source of the diagnostic confusion. Both types of patients purport to give advice, carry out an assignment, accomplish a mission, or embark on an enterprise for which they are uniquely unqualified and lack the talents, skills, knowledge, or experience required.
But the bipolar's bombast is far more delusional than the narcissist's. Ideas of reference and magical thinking are common and, in this sense, the bipolar is closer to the schizotypal than to the narcissistic.
There are other differentiating symptoms:
Sleep disorders - notably acute insomnia - are common in the manic phase of bipolar and uncommon in narcissism. So is "manic speech" - pressured, uninterruptible, loud, rapid, dramatic (includes singing and humorous asides), sometimes incomprehensible, incoherent, chaotic, and lasts for hours. It reflects the bipolar's inner turmoil and his/her inability to control his/her racing and kaleidoscopic thoughts.
As opposed to narcissists, bipolar in the manic phase are often distracted by the slightest stimuli, are unable to focus on relevant data, or to maintain the thread of conversation. They are "all over the place" - simultaneously initiating numerous business ventures, joining a myriad organization, writing umpteen letters, contacting hundreds of friends and perfect strangers, acting in a domineering, demanding, and intrusive manner, totally disregarding the needs and emotions of the unfortunate recipients of their unwanted attentions. They rarely follow up on their projects.
The transformation is so marked that the bipolar is often described by his/her closest as "not himself/herself". Indeed, some bipolars relocate, change name and appearance, and lose contact with their "former life". Antisocial or even criminal behavior is not uncommon and aggression is marked, directed at both others (assault) and oneself (suicide). Some biploars describe an acuteness of the senses, akin to experiences recounted by drug users: smells, sounds, and sights are accentuated and attain an unearthly quality.
As opposed to narcissists, bipolars regret their misdeeds following the manic phase and try to atone for their actions. They realize and accept that "something is wrong with them" and seek help. During the depressive phase they are ego-dystonic and their defenses are autoplastic (they blame themselves for their defeats, failures, and mishaps).
Finally, pathological narcissism is already discernible in early adolescence. The full-fledged bipolar disorder - including a manic phase - rarely occurs before the age of 20. (Now I kn0w why I didnt see these in the earlier years)The narcissist is consistent in his pathology - not so the bipolar. The onset of the manic episode is fast and furious and results in a conspicuous metamorphosis of the patient.
*bipolar disorder is the classic manic disease*
Manic patients are frequently grandiose, irritable, belligerent, and frequently deny anything is wrong with them. Because mania frequently encourages high energy and decreased perception of need or ability to sleep, within a few days of a manic cycle, sleep-deprived psychosis may appear, further complicating the ability to think clearly. Racing thoughts and misperceptions lead to frustration and decreased ability to communicate with others.



> Sex drive is abnormally heightened leading to loss of inhibitions and participation in sexual activity that is unusual.


 Infidelity!!! the euphoric state is short lived and the mania quickly becomes very unpleasant. Their energy level is boosted to the point where they feel pressured, driven, and in a very uncomfortable state of mind. They can become quite irritable, enraged at the smallest perceived slight..* And this is what I have been --given the rath from him--, I am the one who seemly is the one who 'Slights' him. I guess I had stood in his way of his 'fix' with the OP.. *
Other manic symptoms include irritability, *hyper-sexuality*,* Infidelity occurs*..hyper-religiosity, hyperactivity, talkativeness, and grandiose ideas and plans. In manic and less severe hypomanic cases, the afflicted person may engage in out of character behavior such as questionable business transactions, wasteful expenditures of money, risky sexual activity or highly vocal arguments uncharacteristic of previous behaviors. These behaviors increase stress in personal relationships, problems at work and increases the risk of altercations with law enforcement as well as being at high risk of impulsively taking part in activities potentially harmful to self and others.

Additional possible symptoms of mania include elation, extreme optimism, rapid unstoppable flow of speech, racing thoughts/flights of ideas, agitation, poor judgment, recklessness, inordinate capacity for activity, tendency to be easily distracted, inability to concentrate, exuberant and flamboyant or colorful dress, authoritative manner, and tendency to believe they are in their best mental state.

*Becoming hyper religious is actually very common with people who have bipolar disorder. * And this is the new twist I have refered to in my previous updates. My Ws has turned to religion, and not just a spirtual guidance, *Bi-polar sufferers always go to extremes, whatever they do*



In a religious context,. My WS has became quite spiritual in a sort of pantheistic 'i am at one with the holiness of everything' sort of way- which is so unlike the normal, as far as seeking spirtuality goes. This is something he is obssessing about 24/7,praying and read the Bible, I do support, I am a beleiver myself. But he has taken way beyond anything I have ever witnessed before. He talks about, scriputures, watches relgious programming, reads scriptures, prays, and preachers day and night. He has strarted setting rules up for us in our home, Like how we can talk or speak to him, or anything for that matter. He doenst want me to talk with him about anything in life, unless it is about the lord, scriptures or prayers.. there is so much more he does but I have given you all a pretty cleart pitcture. 


The thing is, I still have to deal with all the other issuse that are associated with the bi-polar.. Like irritable, belligerent, and frequently deny anything is wrong , yet he screams over the SLIGHTEST thing that is not at PERFECTION in his life, like say the mail ran late, or there was an issue with the satelight,(storm knocked it out for a very short time) ANY AND EVERYTHING, tiny or large problem is so BIG to him, like the world just blew up.. Well he sure BLOWS up.. He still does the old, its me crap. Its like He wants his "world" perfect, but yet I cant talk to him about anything in the "world" if I try, well the angier and acusations is so mind numbing, I just dont even try. I gave up, I take care of everthing myself, but then again he turns that around to. (I am trying to take over everything) it doesnt matter that man can turn anything around to make it out to either be about him, or an attack against him.. 

*A person may hold exaggerated notions about his or her ability, influence or lineage. When religion enters the picture, the person may exhibit tremendous guilt over what he or she perceives to be sins he or she has committed against God * And this is one of the reasons it has occured AFTER the AFFAIR. Yeah so, basically the bpd lead into the affair, now the affair has lead into daily hyper religiousness! Any yet, still feel like egg shells would be an softer ground to walk on then what I am walking on now..


Religion is also mentioned in relationship to OCD in a
slightly different way. Scrupulosity is a term that is often used to indicate religious symptoms in OCD, *Which my WS has been diognoised with OCD aswell*. Soguess what, yep the Obbsesivness is the Cherry on top of the whole issue.. retreating for hours at a time, committing to word-for-word memory and note taking Bible verses, withdrawl and Obsesse over the lords words, and teaching... NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO INTERUPT HIM.. that will bounce him back into some of the traits listed above..




Bipolar disorder, and mania, often strikes people who are charming, creative and charismatic.When their behavior becomes outrageous...they have run up thousands of dollars in debts and put the family on the verge of, or into bankruptcyor when their *sexual indiscretions *become too obvious to ignore....the impact on relationships is enormous. Separation and divorce is common. Even the most understanding partner has problems understanding the illness and the symptoms are seen and felt as a personal attack. 


So here is all the updates for me, and the twists I was not prepared for. Im kinda at a loss now. I just dont think I can handle much more..


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## Bentley'sMom (Jul 10, 2012)

Understanding goes a long way in helping.
My STBXH is definitely NPD, his brother is bi polar (nice messed up family!)
I look at this like any form of abuse (which it is, it is what mentally or personality disordered people do to their spouse), do you want to remain in a messed up relationship, or get out for your own sanity?
I did not bother trying to fight for my marriage when I found out what he was. Not only was he a cheat (my deal breaker) he was a sick psycho (yes that's what they are) and I wasn't putting up with his abuse and crap any more. Trust me I am a few months out of the narcissitic fog and feel better already. It will always affect me, and has messed up my health and my life but I refuse to allow him to ruin and dictate my life. No contact with him has been a blessing. Knowing I'll never get answers, an apology or any closure is just part of the fvcked up deal we make when we unwittingly marry one of these freaks.
Remember it is rarely about you, the problem is all theirs. My advice is take some time away, you may well come out of your own fog and feel immensely better. I am getting my old self back, one he almost destroyed and whatever happens here on, it's better than living with someone who isn't capable of empathy or love. I deserve better, we all do.
I hope to find a nice normal guy, and experience a real and true relationship at some point. I know I don't want whatever those 12 years I had with my STBXH were again. It is a false life, based on a lie. So hard to comprehend and so confusing, but there is hope.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

I feel so confused now. My STBXH was diagnosed with recurrent major depression, but so much of what you've written sounds like him. Our daughter confronted him about his infidelity and her discovery of it, and he looked her in the eye and said he wasn't going to apologized for anything. It went downhill from there. I don't know if it matters if he's narcissistic or bi-polar, other than the meds. Either way it hurts so much.


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## Bentley'sMom (Jul 10, 2012)

Pluto2 it hurts, but understand it is not you, it is him. If he is disordered, he doesn't 'think' like a normal person. He won't apologize because he in his mind is never wrong. They are above normal rules.
It absolutely matters which he is, narcissists rarely seek help and they cannot change, there are no meds I know of that will treat NPD. Bi polar, I believe can be treated with meds, which help some.
If he is on meds, he is probably bi polar.
Read up on the conditions, it honestly will help. Once you understand that they are flawed 'human' beings, you will see how nothing you could have done will make a difference. They are what they are, sadly. Love won't cure them. It is confusing, because they are not like most people, they are disturbed individuals.


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## Just Tired Of It All (Oct 22, 2011)

> The manic phases of the bipolar disorder, however, are limited in time - *NPD is not. *Furthermore, the mania is followed by - usually protracted - depressive episodes. The narcissist is also frequently dysphoric. But whereas the bipolar sinks into deep self-deprecation, self-devaluation, unbounded pessimism, all-pervasive guilt and anhedonia - the narcissist, even when depressed, never forgoes his narcissism: his grandiosity, sense of entitlement, haughtiness, and lack of empathy.
> Narcissistic dysphorias are much shorter and reactive


Yes, there is a diffrence. Bently's Mom is correct. BPD can be treated. (If the BPD seeks help, and a contiual routine of medication) but that is trial and error also just to get the correct meds/dosage. So its not just a plain cut, easy fix. Therapy is needed aswell....


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## Just Tired Of It All (Oct 22, 2011)

Bentley'sMom said:


> Pluto2 it hurts, but understand it is not you, it is him. If he is disordered, he doesn't 'think' like a normal person. He won't apologize because he in his mind is never wrong. They are above normal rules.
> It absolutely matters which he is, narcissists rarely seek help and they cannot change, there are no meds I know of that will treat NPD. Bi polar, I believe can be treated with meds, which help some.
> If he is on meds, he is probably bi polar.
> Read up on the conditions, it honestly will help. Once you understand that they are flawed 'human' beings, you will see how nothing you could have done will make a difference. They are what they are, sadly. Love won't cure them. It is confusing, because they are not like most people, they are disturbed individuals.


 I second this!!!!!


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

SOME doctors are also quick to make a diagnoses of depression or bipolar too. Sometimes too if the meds don't work its either because they haven't found the right one for what they say you have, or you have been misdiagnosed. Some meds only work for certain things. Also, there are people who have more than one disorder.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

most people here use BPD for Borderline personality disorder, perhaps change the title so confusion doesn't exist


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## Just Tired Of It All (Oct 22, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> most people here use BPD for Borderline personality disorder, perhaps change the title so confusion doesn't exist


Your absolutly correct, will do thanks!!


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## danielpreciad (Sep 6, 2012)

It is a false life, based on a lie. So hard to comprehend and so confusing, but there is hope.


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