# scarlet letter of divorce



## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

The toughest thing is when it comes to my ex and the family I'm not a quitter, but in twenty days ill be divorced, and ill have to go in front of a judge and agree to irreconcilabe differences, admit that I'm quitting on my marriage, and have that scarlett letter of divorce attached to my name
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

proudwidaddy said:


> The toughest thing is when it comes to my ex and the family I'm not a quitter, but in twenty days ill be divorced, and ill have to go in front of a judge and agree to irreconcilabe differences, admit that I'm quitting on my marriage, and have that scarlett letter of divorce attached to my name
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You do realize those of us that "are" divorced outnumber the people who aren't.


----------



## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Oh, Proud, I had some trouble with that, too...

but the truth is no one cares. Everyone's all too involved in their own lives. And as Conrad pointed out, more people are divorced than not.


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

proudwidaddy said:


> The toughest thing is when it comes to my ex and the family I'm not a quitter, but in twenty days ill be divorced, and ill have to go in front of a judge and agree to irreconcilabe differences, admit that I'm quitting on my marriage, and have that scarlett letter of divorce attached to my name
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That "scarlett letter" that you so aptly refer to, Proud, should not be used as some self-demeaning term. Rather, it is a red badge of courage on your part. You didn't leave the marriage~ it left you! You did all that you possibly could to preserve it.

Just be proud of your actions rather than the result!


----------



## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

proudwidaddy said:


> The toughest thing is when it comes to my ex and the family I'm not a quitter, but in twenty days ill be divorced, and ill have to go in front of a judge and agree to irreconcilabe differences, admit that I'm quitting on my marriage, and have that scarlett letter of divorce attached to my name
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


From Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem In Memoriam:27, 1850:

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

Can you imagine what you and your life would be like today if you had never married at all? Divorced no longer carries the negative connotation that it once held. I don't fear being divorced. I can proudly proclaim that I was married for almost 29 years, raised two wonderful sons, and I plan on enjoying the single life when all has been finalized. I hope you find joy as well.


----------



## cabbage65 (Feb 14, 2012)

but you didn't quit. i didn't either. they did.


----------



## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

If it means I'll never have to deal with my ex again, you can burn a big D onto my chest with a hot iron.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Kearson (Jan 18, 2012)

Honestly, having thought about this a lot over the last few weeks, I'd rather date a divorced man.

If you've already been divorced, that means you've already been through some form of Hell, and have a pretty good idea of what you do and don't want in a relationship.

Being divorced doesn't mean you failed...it means you survived. How you move on from that survival is what will make you either attractive or unattractive, not the fact that you are divorced in and of itself


----------



## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

You make a good point, Kearson. Honestly, if I meet a man over 35 and he's never been married, I'm a little iffy. If he's been divorced, then, well, ok. I got that.

That's my own bias, but I bet I'm not the only one.


----------



## Kearson (Jan 18, 2012)

lamaga said:


> You make a good point, Kearson. Honestly, if I meet a man over 35 and he's never been married, I'm a little iffy. If he's been divorced, then, well, ok. I got that.
> 
> That's my own bias, but I bet I'm not the only one.


I totally agree. Unless he went into some career early in life that makes it impossible to have a family, and has recently left said career, then I'd be seriously wary of a 35+ yo that had never been married.


----------



## Matt1720 (May 7, 2012)

I admit to personally having a prejudice before my own difficult (and ongoing!) experience. 

Its not that I still don't. But I respect the hell out of people who have actually LEARNED from it and IMPROVED themselves.


----------



## unsure78 (Oct 17, 2011)

lamaga said:


> You make a good point, Kearson. Honestly, if I meet a man over 35 and he's never been married, I'm a little iffy. If he's been divorced, then, well, ok. I got that.
> 
> That's my own bias, but I bet I'm not the only one.


I agree with lamaga on this
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

lamaga said:


> You make a good point, Kearson. Honestly, if I meet a man over 35 and he's never been married, I'm a little iffy. If he's been divorced, then, well, ok. I got that.
> 
> That's my own bias, but I bet I'm not the only one.


:iagree:

there's a new guy at work who is quite nice and single...but he's 43 and has never been married, apparently hasn't met the right woman

and I'm thinking 'come on, there must be something...' 

poor guy he's probably perfectly nice but something is not quite right!

anyway, keep your chin up Proud, we love ya!! x


----------



## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

proudwidaddy said:


> The toughest thing is when it comes to my ex and the family I'm not a quitter, but in twenty days ill be divorced, and ill have to go in front of a judge and agree to irreconcilabe differences, admit that I'm quitting on my marriage, and have that scarlett letter of divorce attached to my name
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Wow, that was so quick...


----------



## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

S'pose I'm "old school" on this. I still feel there's a certain stigma that goes with being divorced. I, myself, am reluctant to add the title of EX-Wife. But then I look at the other 2 recently added ones, mother in law and grandma that were bestowed on me and I revel in them. 

I try to remember that my marriage/spouse failed me, not that I totally failed. Sure, I was not nor am perfect, but I can be proud that my morals never wavered.

Look at your screenname again. What is the first word in it? Need I say more?


----------



## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

Dollystanford said:


> :iagree:
> 
> there's a new guy at work who is quite nice and single...but he's 43 and has never been married, apparently hasn't met the right woman
> 
> ...



43 and never been married....red flag.


----------



## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

Seeing you refer to the "scarlet letter of divorce" had me seeing red.

(golf clap)

All kidding aside, Proud... nothing to be ashamed of. Look at it this way... it's something you will survive, learn from and grow from. You'll be a much better partner in your next relationship. It's all part of the training. 

View it as a badge of honour, in that sense. 

Rocky Theme Tune - YouTube


----------

