# Humiliated by wife during 3 way sex. Now need advice on divorce



## john1969

This is the 3rd month that I have been browsing these forums and now it's time to get some help. We have tried and tried to fix this marriage and it is to the point that I am the only one trying. The camel's back was broken when I agreed to a 3 way with my wife and I was humiliated. Also, I wasn't sure if this was best to post this here or in the sex forum. If this is not the correct place, please move for me.

Sex has been pretty horrible for me and my wife. We have only been married 5 years and for the first 3, sex was great. My wife's sex drive all of a sudden decreased and she had little to no interest in sex. My sex drive soon followed and I never really recovered. She also stopped giving me oral sex about 2 years ago. For the past two years, our sex life has consisted of me giving her oral and me receiving a hand job in return. It wasn't my ideal arrangement but we both were able to climax with this arrangement.

My wife suggested that we try to do some new things to try to rekindle our sex life. She made it seem that I would have some say in what we should do but she had her heart set on having 3 way sex. On top of that, she wanted the 3rd person to be a man from her job. I really didn't feel right doing this but at the same time, I wanted her to be happy. I never suspected her of cheating but I asked her what she knew about the guy. She said that he was a sex guru and he could help to spice up our sex life. I agreed out of desperation. 

We had the 3 way last week and it was the most awkward and uncomfortable thing that I ever did in my life. Throughout the entire session, my wife paid more attention to him than me. The only thing good about it was that I saw that she was happy. After about 30 minutes in, she began to give him oral sex. I stopped her and asked how she could do that to him when she didn't do that to me anymore. She said that she wanted to do new things and this is what she wanted. It was very awkward and he just looked at me with a smirk. I was pissed and didn't want to participate anymore. 

Some part of me wanted to leave but I couldn't. I also woke up and wondered why the hell I ever agreed with this in the first place. I just laid down on the bed while they continued to have sex. They were then standing on the side of the bed having sex while I was laying there. I watched some more and then turned my head the other way. Without warning, I felt something warm across my back. I had no idea what it was but I knew it wasn't right. By the time I turned around, my wife was laughing hysterically and her co-worker was trying not to laugh. It only took a few seconds to realize that he shot his load all over my back.

This is the most humiliating thing that has ever happened to me. My wife enjoyed herself and said I shouldn't worry about it. I feel that they somehow set me up and the way that they looked at each other, I think they may have been together before. Now she is living happy and wants to do it again. I wanted to work on our sex life/marriage but now I'm not too sure. Is this some sort of phase she is going through? She is 46 and I just turned 43. I can accept that maybe I can't satisfy her sexually anymore but I can't help but to think that she told him to do that to me. Does this sound like a marriage worth fighting for or should I listen to my gut and believe that she is sleeping with him behind my back and I should pursue a divorce?


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## Kasler

DEFCON 6

SHE IS TRYING TO CUCKOLD YOU

Get the hell out of that marriage ASAP.

Him shooting on you was NO accident, hence the laughing. 

She wants you to be her financial meal ticket and sexually subservient. If you ever did it again, she may tell you how it would turn her on to watch you suck off the other guy. 

She has no respect for you. 

This is no phase. This is an incredibly selfish, perverted, and vindictive woman and you need to divorce her, before she robs you of the partial self respect and worth as a human being that you have left.

Because honestly, why you did not beat the **** out of that guy after what he did worries me that it may already be too late for you self respect wise.

At this point, you don't have a marriage. If you allow this then she has a bill of ownership, item within being you. 

And yes ITEM, not human being.


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## john1969

I really wanted to kick his ass but they just acted like it was normal and my wife told me later that I killed the mood. They were trying to make me out to be the bad guy. She doesn't make much on her job and it probably wouldn't affect us financially if she quit tomorrow simply because I run my own business. She wanted to get her own job with her own friends so I let her because I didn't want to seem like I was smothering her.


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## Kasler

john1969 said:


> I really wanted to kick his ass but they just acted like it was normal and my wife told me later that I killed the mood. They were trying to make me out to be the bad guy. She doesn't make much on her job and it probably wouldn't affect us financially if she quit tomorrow simply because I run my own business. She wanted to get her own job with her own friends so I let her because I didn't want to seem like I was smothering her.


Where are your balls? In this whole post I see no rage, no decision, no nothing, just meaningless crap. 

Who gives a fvck about her job? All that sh!t isn't important. What is important is to not stay married to someone who doesn't respect or show you intimacy. 

You've been sexually stifled for years, and then sexually abused and you're mild like she burnt your toast or some other meaningless action. 

Get angry 

I wish Entropy could see this thread right now. 


Question. 

Yes or no answer only, no sentences, no excuses just one word

Do you want to be a cuckold?

Cuckold = Man whose wife completely disregards his needs, sexually abuses him(Your halfway there already) and openly sleeps with other men with impunity. 

Yes? 

Or 

No?


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## john1969

No, that's not who I want to be. The thing is, I have a very bad temper. I was once married before and my temper would get out of control on the regular. It ended up costing me my marriage because my wife wouldn't take it anymore. It took a couple years of therapy but I have found peace. Since then, I have been less confrontational and my current wife may have take advantage of that. To answer your questions again, no, I don't want to be a cucold. I really don't want to go through divorce again but it seems that may be the only way.


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## AngryandUsed

I wish this post is not a troll....

I cant stand this type of an event...


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## Kasler

john1969 said:


> No, that's not who I want to be. The thing is, I have a very bad temper. I was once married before and my temper would get out of control on the regular. It ended up costing me my marriage because my wife wouldn't take it anymore. It took a couple years of therapy but I have found peace. Since then, I have been less confrontational and my current wife may have take advantage of that. To answer your questions again, no, I don't want to be a cucold. I really don't want to go through divorce again but it seems that may be the only way.


You're saying no but your not meaning it. 

You don't want to be her cuckolded husband, but you don't want to go through divorce? 

"it seems that may be the only way." Noncommittal and wishy-washy sentiment, won't work thinking like this

You keep that attitude up you as good as got a leash around your neck already. 

If you're not 100% and with you being non confrontational, you may say you'll file for divorce, but she'll just lure you in with sweet words and a few nights of good sex.

She'll then have you even more around her finger than she does already, and then a few weeks or a month down the line her Bull(cuckold term) will be coming back for round 2 expecting you use your back as a landing strip again. 

Get out of the marriage, thats all there is to it.

No separation, no "I need space"

Call a lawyer, and listen to what the man is saying and then file.


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## ing

STOP.
STOP.. For the love of.. 

Listen. What you agreed to is an extreme and nasty. It is part of a very evil version of an affair. 

You are being abused by her.

She knows this guy
She has had sex with him many times
She wanted YOU to witness it.
He wanted you to witness it.
He shot his load on you because she wants him to. 
She wants to humiliate you.


Okay. Enough of that. YOU. HAVE to protect yourself and right now.

You book yourself into to a Psychologist tomorrow

You tell her that never happens again and you expect a BJ tonight and it better be good!
Lets see her reaction..

She never sees this guy again. 

You pull a hard 180 immediately.

You have to man up in a VERY big way whatever happens 
Read "No More More Nice Guy"


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## Writer

Wow. I am rarely left speechless, but the actions of your WW have done that to me.

Okay, first off. You need to reach down and find your balls. Women are generally not attracted to a person who can not stand up for themselves. It's unflattering to you. As a man.

Man. He finished on you. You need to get mad at that. You need to react to what your wife is doing. She talked you into a threesome with her AP. Then, she had him utterly emasculate you.

So. Man up. Don't take her crap. You've been to therapy to cool your anger, and she has used it to turn you into a cuckold. But, you are going to have to get angry.

I really don't see a path to R here. There is absolutely no remorse on her part. In fact, she went behind your back to arrange another 3some with this man.

Stop it here. Don't engage in anything you feel uncomfortable with. Set boundaries that include not participating in an open relationship. Stick to them. If she comes along, great. But I wouldn't count on it. 

After all, this is one of the worst cases of disrespect that I saw on here, yet.


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## john1969

It seems that sex is the root of all our problems. Everything else in the marriage is ok but no extraordinary. Do you think it's worth getting a divorce over sex? I'm asking because I'm browsing the sex in marriage forums and it would seem that some couples are doing just fine with piss poor sex lives.


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## warlock07

Please don't waste poster's time. Are you taking a creative writing class or what ? You come up with a story every couple of days.


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## Kasler

john1969 said:


> It seems that sex is the root of all our problems. Everything else in the marriage is ok but no extraordinary. Do you think it's worth getting a divorce over sex? I'm asking because I'm browsing the sex in marriage forums and it would seem that some couples are doing just fine with piss poor sex lives.


Yep your her cuckold, I think you just may not have realized it yet.

So, you think getting a divorce or even any kind of action because she emasculated you, humiliated you, sexually abused you is no big deal? 

And from what I read, you think what happened to you just warrants a shrug of the shoulders.

I see no anger, no conviction, just a man whose been pissed on(literally as well) trying desperately to convince himself it was just a little bit of rain.

I also think this story might just some guy trolling.

Even if it is true tho,

I'm outta here, I refuse to stomach the woes of a cuckold in denial.


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## Humble Pie

john1969 said:


> This is the 3rd month that I have been browsing these forums and now it's time to get some help. We have tried and tried to fix this marriage and it is to the point that I am the only one trying. The camel's back was broken when I agreed to a 3 way with my wife and I was humiliated. Also, I wasn't sure if this was best to post this here or in the sex forum. If this is not the correct place, please move for me.
> 
> Sex has been pretty horrible for me and my wife. We have only been married 5 years and for the first 3, sex was great. My wife's sex drive all of a sudden decreased and she had little to no interest in sex. My sex drive soon followed and I never really recovered. She also stopped giving me oral sex about 2 years ago. For the past two years, our sex life has consisted of me giving her oral and me receiving a hand job in return. It wasn't my ideal arrangement but we both were able to climax with this arrangement.
> 
> My wife suggested that we try to do some new things to try to rekindle our sex life. She made it seem that I would have some say in what we should do but she had her heart set on having 3 way sex. On top of that, she wanted the 3rd person to be a man from her job. I really didn't feel right doing this but at the same time, I wanted her to be happy. I never suspected her of cheating but I asked her what she knew about the guy. She said that he was a sex guru and he could help to spice up our sex life. I agreed out of desperation.
> 
> We had the 3 way last week and it was the most awkward and uncomfortable thing that I ever did in my life. Throughout the entire session, my wife paid more attention to him than me. The only thing good about it was that I saw that she was happy. After about 30 minutes in, she began to give him oral sex. I stopped her and asked how she could do that to him when she didn't do that to me anymore. She said that she wanted to do new things and this is what she wanted. It was very awkward and he just looked at me with a smirk. I was pissed and didn't want to participate anymore.
> 
> Some part of me wanted to leave but I couldn't. I also woke up and wondered why the hell I ever agreed with this in the first place. I just laid down on the bed while they continued to have sex. They were then standing on the side of the bed having sex while I was laying there. I watched some more and then turned my head the other way. Without warning, I felt something warm across my back. I had no idea what it was but I knew it wasn't right. By the time I turned around, my wife was laughing hysterically and her co-worker was trying not to laugh. It only took a few seconds to realize that he shot his load all over my back.
> 
> This is the most humiliating thing that has ever happened to me. My wife enjoyed herself and said I shouldn't worry about it. I feel that they somehow set me up and the way that they looked at each other, I think they may have been together before. Now she is living happy and wants to do it again. I wanted to work on our sex life/marriage but now I'm not too sure. Is this some sort of phase she is going through? She is 46 and I just turned 43. I can accept that maybe I can't satisfy her sexually anymore but I can't help but to think that she told him to do that to me. Does this sound like a marriage worth fighting for or should I listen to my gut and believe that she is sleeping with him behind my back and I should pursue a divorce?


do you have any children younger than 16-18? If not, get out asap, your wife seems like she has had the "sex guru" before... total disrespect.

I feel sorry that you are here, you need to find a partner who will respect you.


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## mrstj4sho88

How did she already no the OM was great in bed? Let me get this correct your wife and her lover had sex while you watched. Then the man let it go all over your back. So your wife is cheating with her co- worker. She proved to the OM that you mean nothing to her. She gave the OM a BJ while you watched . The OM did your wife all in your face . But you still want to stay with your W. Sorry but is it just me or does this sound unreal. Come on what man will allow another man to sex his wife. If this is true ,your wife and her man (he is not the OM you are now) are still laughing at you.I have never heard of a man letting his wife do this mess.


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## Pault

Oh Dear!
Youve been made a complete *$$ of and there cannot be a a bigger or better way of doing it to someone. 

Clearly this is a planned thing - youve accepted it and stayed there whilst they had a great time - she, clearly lved the turn on of humiliating you infront of him and HE did the same. 

Ok So you say she wants another 3 way - GREAT tell her it has gto be a female this time and watch her reaction - be fair to her she can pick the female of even get a "lady of the night" paid for by you to come in and play. See how your W takes that - stick to it and dont move off it until she either agrees or does the noble and correct thing and packs her bags.

Buy a new lock(s) for the doors and get ready to change them. Start a new bank account and be ready to transfer your funds across and have the scissors ready to cut up her bank cards (preferably without her knowing). Then puchase a large roll of refuse sacks, bag up all her clothes and give them to a charity for people who need help and will appreaciate them.

And then a real good lawyer. Or you can sit there and let her make the biggest mug out of you ever.

Not having a good at you but - look at what others here are saying. PLEASE!


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## jnj express

How is it that your wife, who works for puny wages, and her lover, who probably also makes very little, know each other so well, that he would be a sex guru---what he is, is a PUA-----Both of them together make little or no money, so together, I doubt if they could exist----what you should do---is pack up all your wife's belongings, take them to her workplace when they are both there, and give them to her lover, tell him she is your's 

I think all of a sudden, you would find a changed attitude from your wife---but for you that should not be allowed to happen.

How could you look at your self in the mirror, for spending one more second with her, if what you described to us, is the truth

If this is not a troll, thread---then you need to get out of this mge, yesterday.


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## john1969

what does that mean warlock07?

And to humble pie, we have no children together. I do have 3 of my own with my first wife. There is nothing tying me to this woman but I just want to be sure theres nothing left fighting for before I take the next step.


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## AngryandUsed

OP,

Dont you see you are humiliated?


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## JCD

john1969 said:


> what does that mean warlock07?
> 
> And to humble pie, we have no children together. I do have 3 of my own with my first wife. There is nothing tying me to this woman but I just want to be sure theres nothing left fighting for before I take the next step.


It's very simple. We have two choices from what we are reading.

A) you are some person looking for attention by writing some rather bad erotic cuckold porn to gauge our reations. You're lying about the whole situation.

B) That this, in fact, happened exactly as described but your obvious disconnect and rationalizing of the actions means that there is no actual hope that you'll remove your testicles from your wife's ears (she's getting more use from them as earrings then you seem to be) and actually DO anything.

In either case, you are wasting our time.

You want advice? Change bank accounts, cancel credit cards and file for divorce.

The wife's actions are beyond the pale. What she is doing is EVIL...and she thinks it's funny.

You seem to be accepting it.


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## john1969

I feel like a big idiot just discussing this. What did I expect to happen by agreeing to the 3 way? I thought it would rekindle our sex life and give us the spark that we needed. Who brings their affair partner to a 3 way? That's why I didn't expect her of cheating at first. It just wouldn't make sense.


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## AlphaHalf

This story could be true but I can't help to think this is fake. 

-You let your wife have sex with another man from her job and you believed he was a sex guru.
-Then you put up with her giving oral to another man and let him smirk at you
_-Then he ejaculated on your back and you just let them laugh at you._

Naaah, I'm sorry but I think this story is some sort of cuckold fetish and posting here is part of the thrill for you.

No man will put up to with another man ejaculating on him unless he wanted it to happen PERIOD.


If this is real you need professional therapy and a divorce. (and to kick that guys a$$) I bet he has a good story to tell his buds around the water cooler.

And yes she's been having sex with that guy before that day.


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## Badblood

This is too High School to be true.


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## JCD

john1969 said:


> I feel like a big idiot just discussing this. What did I expect to happen by agreeing to the 3 way? I thought it would rekindle our sex life and give us the spark that we needed. Who brings their affair partner to a 3 way? That's why I didn't expect her of cheating at first. It just wouldn't make sense.


You are correct. You are an idiot. There should be no discussion. You already know what you have to do...if this isn't a con job.


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## john1969

Thanks for explaining that JCD and others. If I can't get any help here then I won't waste my time. Thanks for nothing.


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## mrstj4sho88

You got all kind of answers here . A real man does not allow this kind of sick behavior to happen period ! That is why most find this story to be unreal. :iagree:


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## AlphaHalf

If you have no type of reaction to a man ejaculating on you then I don't see how anyone can help you MAN UP on this Post. I mean where do you draw the line????? Would you do something if he dropped a deuce on you???? 

(Its a nasty example but you see what I'm getting at.)


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## Pault

It it's a story - oh well how sad you need an advice forum to get your kicks 

If its real then shame on you for allowing such behaviour - If he married iin a relationship then let the world and his brother know their cheating. Grab your W's stuff and give it to charity and then sling her out making sure that there is no access to the house or finance 

simples!!!!


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## john1969

Of course I was upset that he did that to me. I can't say I'm innocent though because I agreed to the 3 way in the first place. I mentioned in my first post that my sex drive was in the crapper and we haven't had intercourse in years. Here was a chance for us both to be happy and rediscover ourselves. It just didn't workout that way. I did exchange words with the guy but what could I do if I invited him in my home. Was I supposed to fight him then and there and then be carried away in cuffs naked with semen all over me. You have to look at this from my perspective on the situation.


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## JCD

john1969 said:


> Of course I was upset that he did that to me. I can't say I'm innocent though because I agreed to the 3 way in the first place. I mentioned in my first post that my sex drive was in the crapper and we haven't had intercourse in years. Here was a chance for us both to be happy and rediscover ourselves. It just didn't workout that way. I did exchange words with the guy but what could I do if I invited him in my home. Was I supposed to fight him then and there and then be carried away in cuffs naked with semen all over me. You have to look at this from my perspective on the situation.


These are valid points. Now he's gone. When is she also leaving? Because you want to 'discuss' what happens next. I don't see anything to discuss.

She's evil. If you accept this, you are accepting someone doing evil to you.


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## Malaise

ing said:


> STOP.
> *STOP.. For the love of..
> 
> Listen. What you agreed to is an extreme and nasty. It is part of a very evil version of an affair.
> 
> You are being abused by her.
> 
> She knows this guy
> She has had sex with him many times
> She wanted YOU to witness it.
> He wanted you to witness it.
> He shot his load on you because she wants him to.
> She wants to humiliate you.*
> 
> Okay. Enough of that. YOU. HAVE to protect yourself and right now.
> 
> You book yourself into to a Psychologist tomorrow
> 
> You tell her that never happens again and you expect a BJ tonight and it better be good!
> Lets see her reaction..
> 
> She never sees this guy again.
> 
> You pull a hard 180 immediately.
> 
> You have to man up in a VERY big way whatever happens
> Read "No More More Nice Guy"


This is truth. :iagree:

He was no random co-worker.

They are lovers and this was cover to do it in front of you,with your permission. 

His aim was true and it was planned by them to further humiliate you.

If you allow this to happen without consequences to her then you surely will deserve it.


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## dogman

I'm not buying this one.


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## mrstj4sho88

She enjoyed it and wants another threesome. What are you going to do now. Come on next time he might do a hole in one in you. What is your next move. You want us to help you with what ? If this is true you only have one thing to do..Put her out of the house. No real man allow his wife this kind of thing. Can you be bi-sexual and liked it? This can't be true..


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## AlphaHalf

I (Somehow)looked at it from your perspective. Although I would never, never agree to threesome to begin with but to each their own.

I would not care if he was invited over or not, I consider a man ejaculation on you and laughing is entitled to a RIGHTEOUS A$$WHIPPING of EPIC PROPORTIONS.

So yes you should have reacted, whip his as or do something besides letting it happen. It doesn't matter if he was invited. Man this is weird. Good Luck to you.


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## Torrivien

I am really relieved that I'm not the only one thinking this to be fake. I was afraid I got paranoid after all the threads about TAM troll problems.
But just for the sake to be uncynical, here are some very simple points:
1- Your wife wants you to be her cuckold.
2- She hasn't any shred of respect left for you.
3- I doubt you get her respect back since you took her lover's sperm on your back. I'm very open minded but dude, what the hell ? He might as well have peed on you and declared you his proprety.
4- Leave her or admit that you enjoyed being humiliated.

I came here to give you an advice about divorce, but later saw that you still want reconciliation. It's simple, there's no reconciliation since she doesn't see this as a problem.
I doubt any woman to feel the desire to give an oral sex to a man who can't stand up for himself.

If you're a troll, you must have some serious weird issues to lie about you being humiliated.

EDIT: I'm not a violent person and disapprove it, but you should cracked their skull open. It might have worked as a lobotomy.


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## dubbizle

The first thing they tell you when you are into swinging is DO NOT DO IT IF YOU ARE HAVING ANY KIND OF MARRAIGE/COUPLE PROBLEMS]it will not fix it and only make it worse.
You wife has no respect for you because if she did she would not have got the the other guy when you had any concerns but she did and it looks like she did it only to make you look bad.
You need to tell her NOW that if it happens again you consider it cheating and you may look into getting some counseling over that experince if you can not get over it.


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## jfv

cuckold fantasy. He went to far with the load on his back, so his story broke down.


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## john1969

Well I will talk it over to her this evening when I get home and see where it goes. Do I want to out up with this? No! Do I love her? Yes! I'm willing to try to work through this but if she continues to believe that she did nothing wrong, then divorce is the only option. She has told me that she still loves me and she also wishes things were like they used to be.


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## WyshIknew

I'l treat this thread as genuine for now.

Dude you mention that you had anger problems before. Well they can't have been much of a problem.

About now I would be so incandescent with rage I would be in fecking orbit.

Do yourself a favour, print of the picture below and stick it on your steering wheel and one day when you feel able to, throw it away.


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## john1969

Oh and what should I have done when she wanted the 3 way? I figured if I said no, she would have done it anyway without me.


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## jfv

she would have been doing you a favor. Then you could have just left. What makes you think they weren't doing it already?


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## Writer

Okay.

You still need to man up. Because you will need to do some work to get rid of her partner. I'm assuming this is real for now. 


If you are attempting R, she needs to get rid of the other man.
She will need to quit that job. If she sees him, then she will be stuck in a fog. While she is stuck here, then she won't be able to move on. The more that she sees him, the less chance for R.

After you are sure that the PA is over, you need to do several things.

Close off your marriage. Very rarely do open marriages work out.
Monitor her to make sure that the Affair is over, and that the contact with this guy is gone
Get yourself into IC to see why you would tolerate this. A person's reaction usually is to get mad and confront their spouse. Go sleathy trying to gather more information. They have reactions. You are not even reacting to any of this besides wanting to R.

I will warn you that R is not possible unless she agrees with no contact and acts remorseful. I wouldn't hold out hope because she and her other partner emasculate you. You need to be the man and put your foot down. 

Either she stops her what she is doing and get therapy (sex and MC) or you divorce. Those are the only two options. You need to go through on your ultimatum.


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## WyshIknew

john1969 said:


> Oh and what should I have done when she wanted the 3 way? I figured if I said no, she would have done it anyway without me.


Should have said no if you didn't want to. Then outline consequences of her ignoring your wishes. If she then went ahead and ignored your wishes enact the consequences it's as simple as that.

Read MMSL and NMMNG others here may also recommend some good books.


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## mrstj4sho88

Next time you will be his hole in one. No real man is cool with another man putting it all over his backside. unreal ..Maybe you and your wife are swinger now. You seem to be relaxed about it..


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## WyshIknew

Is the 'sex guru' (what sex information did he impart to you other than semen is sticky on your back?) married or in a relationship?

If so expose to his wife and expose to their place of work. That will very often stop things dead.


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## happyman64

John,
Before you have the talk with your wife do 2 things.

Get accessto her phone if she uses messaging and read her messages.

I think she has something with this guy going on and you were used bigtime.

And buy a small Voice Activated Recorder and put it in her car under her car seat or wherever she talks on the cell. Set it to listen.

Then have the conversation with her about the 3way, your marriage and your/hers happiness.

I think you will find her post conversations enlightening.

How long since your sex life tapered off and your wife started working by the way???

HM64


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## river rat

John, she has no respect for you. Show a little respect for yourself. You know what you have to do.


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## Deejo

C'mon people ...

This guy's first post is at 3:30 in the morning with a story beyond the pale, and it's at 4 pages by 6:30?

This is the same gentleman that has posted stories about a wife sleeping with their pastor, a wife sleeping with her father in law. Wife sleeping with a clown, wife sleeping with the infield of the NY Yankees, etc. His wife gets around a little bit.

Yes ... he's a troll.

Best way you can respond to a post that you think is a troll? 

Don't.

Don't respond. Report the post.


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