# Overwhelmed



## movingonthistime

Hi all,

This is the short version....

This is my first time to this site and I want others opinions on my situation. I have been married for almost eight years now. After the first year of marriage, I discovered my hubbie was having an affair through a graphic text message on his phone. Of course he denied it, but after calling the number back the other woman confirmed and also notified me that he had another woman he was seeing on the job as well. I was furious. We had just purchased a home in a new city. I was starting a new career and away from my family and friends. I asked him to terminate the relationship and go to counseling with a pastor. My hubbie agreed. I forgave him and we reconciled our relationship. Needless to say, a few months later I observed the same behaviors that made me curious in the first place. My hubbie had not stopped the relationship, had opened accounts behind my back (credit cards and cell phones) and was sending the bills to his mom's address. This went on another year. I decided to move out when I starting rec'd messages on my job by the main other woman and he refused to tell me who she was. I also was threatened on my home phone by her and a friend of hers who were calling my home rubbing the affair in my face. I contacted the police dept. but they were of little assistance bc I only had a first name. I also filed for divorce. I moved out of my home bc my husband was protecting this woman more than me. She also told me over the phone that she had been to my home before. After 8mths of being seperated and going to intensive counseling, I moved home, became pregant and I thought things were going to work out. We went to court and told the judge that we were working things out. A few months later his old behaviors began surfacing again. I did not have proof of any affairs and he told me it was me holding on to the past. Needless to say, after our child turned 1.5 I discovered a new affair. This affair had been going on during the counseling, court, and the birth of the baby. This woman informed me of details about our child and their 2.5 year affair. I have filed for divorce again (3rd time) and am moving on for real this time. He is wanting to work on the relationship, but I see the same patterns. Everytime I discover the affairs, he wants to change. The stress and drama has been overwhelming. By the way, both of these women were married and one of their relationships ended in divorce, due to their affair. I tried to fight for my marriage, but I have to use common sense too. He says that I haven't forgiven him, but I have. I feel that he is going to have to lose me in order to truly understand the magnitude of the damage and deal with his issues. Please respond


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## Zulu

Yes, move on...


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## robdedgar

Let me tell you about my situation.... I was the one who was upset that my wife wouldn't support me in our marriage, so I found another woman. For the course of the next year I was hanging out with this other woman while my wife was still calling and text messaging me to see what I was doing. 

Long story short, My wife told me to work out with her I would have to break up with the OW and be with her. Well I did just that, and now she is not working with me. I was taking advantage of, but did so to work out things with my wife and be a family again.

Maybe if you just let him have some space and act more like you are moving on, he will start to worry that he has lost you, lose some weight, go through depression and contact you to work out again. Thats what happened to me. I can clearly see that my wife is not happy either, but she is doing exactly this to me.

Hope this helps.


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