# Baby after SIDS



## Penny905

Son and wife lost their son last year at 4 months. They have a brand new little girl and are a mess. They’re scared and stressed which is causing a lot of fights. Is there any type of sids grief group for new parents, if you know what I mean


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## Oldtimer

Hi Penny, it’s sad when this happens and I grieve for them. Yes there are many compassion groups re: SIDS, just google to find one near you.


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## Penny905

Specifically looking for a group for having a baby after sids, I’ve googled but not having much luck. They have issues with trying not to get too attached, not sleeping, not letting baby cry, not putting her down. Baby is on a monitor 24/7, they are sooo scared


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## Oldtimer

I can understand, I’ve had to deal with a few SIDS deaths in my time. It’s devastating. Not sure where on the globe you are, but in the US, there are groups such as Sharing Parents. Another option may be to speak with the social worker at your local hospital to find out if there are any local groups. Some google posts will also have pointers on how to deal with babies, such as a fitted sheet on the mattress, place baby on their back to sleep etc... I wish you and your family the best in finding answers.


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## FieryHairedLady

Penny905 said:


> Specifically looking for a group for having a baby after sids, I’ve googled but not having much luck. They have issues with trying not to get too attached, not sleeping, not letting baby cry, not putting her down. Baby is on a monitor 24/7, they are sooo scared


Hubby and I lost our son at 4 1/2 months in the womb. It was heart breaking. I never wanted another kid after that. After 1 year my hubby asked me if we could please have one more, and I said yes, just not right away.

I never wanted to feel like we were "replacing" the baby we lost. Because you can never replace a child.

My aunt told me something that has stuck with me all this time.

'We never know how long any of our children will live.'

She is right. 

6 1/2 years after we lost our son, we had another son. It was very scary. We were excited. There were a few issues during the pregnancy but I delivered 3 weeks early to a healthy baby boy. We were thru the moon over him. 

1 week later he was in the hospital for jaundice and the doc said his levels were so high, higher then he looked and he could die or have brain damage. Had to get him in the hospital asap.

My blood pressure sky rocketed, I was so upset I couldn't even talk to my aunt on the phone, had hubby talk to her. 

I just kept telling myself this was the baby we prayed for, and he had a different plan then his brother. I just had to trust in God that he would live and grow up and carry on my hubby's family line.

Well it is 6 years later and he is happy and healthy and runs around like a little fox. He is the light of our life. I do notice I am more clingy and protective of him then I was of my other kids at those ages. (My kids with my 1st hubby) But I know why. 

Earlier this year in Jan, my eldest dd was killed in a horrible car accident. She was 25. We are heart broken. 

WHat I wrote on my facebook is, 'The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of the Lord.'

WHat else can we do?

Tell your son and dil to let the fear go!

We don't know what the future holds for any of us. We never know how long our kids will live for, or us. But the child is here now, so tell them to get attached, to love the child with all their heart. 

Tell them to bond with their baby.

Best of luck to your family!


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## SunCMars

:crying:


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