# Pornography



## Itsacommitment

How do you all feel about pornography? 

I'm a pretty open person sexually, I've never really had a problem with it. I personally would prefer an erotic movie with some story to it, it thats the type of mood I'm in. Porn just seems cheesy and unrealistic to me, so doesnt turn me on at all. Plus, some parts of the industry make it hard to be turned on. Pictures though, I can understand. 

My husband is an excellent lover and very attentive to me. Porn is not a taboo subject and not hidden or anything like that. He usually watches it if I'm sick and therefore not capable of having sex and dont feel like pleasing him other ways. (I have some chronic illnesses) But he always prefers to have sex with me, and attempts to with me before finding some time alone to take care of it himself. He never turns me down, even if he happened to already take care of himself earlier. So in my marriage it really doesnt seem like a big deal. Porn would only bother me if I felt he was masturbating all the time to the point that he didnt want to have sex with me. Or if he wasnt able to fulfill my needs because he masturbates too much. 

I'm just wondering about other women's take on it. I know porn is an absolute NO for a lot of women. Are there any of you that are more like me??


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## Riverside MFT

I was also curious, especially about the TAM forum users. Check out this poll. http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/38855-pornography-12.html


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## Itsacommitment

Thanks  Polls dont really interest me as there is no communication. But the thread below it is interesting.


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## k-ci

I dont care at all, I feel the exact same as you. As long as it dosent turn into an obsession beyound wanting to have sex with me, i couldnt care less. I myself watch porn quite a bit..


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## Kurosity

If it is not illegal (under age) then it really does not bother me unless the person is attainable, like sites where "locals" are looking for sex and what not, then I take issue with it. If it is causing a break in a commitment or hurting a relationship for what ever reason, it needs to go.
Personally play boy is "classy", if you will, compaired to some smut out there.......to each their own. I guess:scratchhead:


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## ScaredandUnsure

I don't have an opinion on it one way or another. As long as it's legal, have at it.


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## CallaLily

Best thing to do is read all the replies on the thread Riverside MFT made. Tons of pages, should take you awhile.


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## HaHa

Porn has never bothered me. We have watched it together and sometimes he watches it by himself. It would start to bother me if it affected our sex life or he wasn’t interested in having sex to me. If porn becomes the first choice, then I would have an issue.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby

My husband does not like porn, nor does he look at naked women online. Hey, I'm completely fine with it! I really do have a hard time with it since I'm small chested. It took me a long time to accept my smaller size.

I got a free DVD when I ordered some toys on adamandeve.com. I watched it for about 2 minutes and couldn't stand to watch it any longer. It was gross looking at other men's manhood and in the trash it went. My hubby was shocked I actually watched a few minutes of it. I asked him if he wanted to see it for himself and he said its not his thing. He'd rather look at me then any other woman. I really lucked out with my current husband, my ex husband was addicted to porn. He was also very unfaithful. I was young and I threw away his magazines, brought them down to the dumpster. He actually followed me and got them back out.lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## memyselfandi

My fiance was surprised when I told him that I have no problem with him looking at porn now and then on the net. I trust him completely!!

His reply was, "Well, just so you know..I'm not imagining myself with these other women when I'm watching this stuff..I'm imagining myself with you.."

You can't stop a man from being a man...most guys look at porn. In fact, I'll bet half of them notice attractive women at the grocery store too but don't say anything. That doesn't mean they want to be with them. Same for us women. Most of us have our friend B.O.B (battery operated boyfriends..hehehe)..and most of us probably notice attractive men also (oh. come. on...who doesn't?? And none of us discuss hotties with our best girlfriends either..yeah right!!!) It doesn't mean we want to sleep with em...we love our guys to pieces!! It's just that...just because you're in a relationship, married, etc., doesn't mean you can't look at the menu. You just don't want to order from it...


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## SimplyAmorous

I am another woman like you ItsAcommitment... I also LOVE an erotic movie with a HOT storyline.... we have rented porn for a time (my desire) and trying to find the softer stuff was a bit of a challenge but It is out there. We stopped renting about 5 months ago, it was a very enjoyable ride while it lasted, I am not addicted to porn, but I can admit I do enjoy it from time to time. 

I am one of the more vocal posters here on this issue, I feel ..... so long as the husband treats us like we are his only love , cherishs us, wants & desires us, our needs come 1st, what more could we ask for. 

On the other hand if you had a husband obsessively compulsed, comparing us, puts it before us, demands we act like a porn star, he is up all night jacking to it while our bed is cold- that is another situation entirely- those women have every right to be as MAD as hell, even kick their sorry butts out. 

My husband doesn't even masterbate to it...I just learned the other day, he said even while we were dating, he didn't do that .... but before he met me, he did !

He has always enjoyed the looking (his tastes are very tame though)...but waited for "us", he even told me he felt it was like "cheating" (his words , not mine).... so he is a rare rare man indeed. 

I also feel the higher someone's sex drive, generally the more of an allure it is. Men with testosterone that drops below normal looses all interest in porn, so science plays a role here. 

There is a good reason books like this have been written, specifically for men ...I love the fact the Title itself acknowleges that it IS a Battle .... Amazon.com: Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time (The Every Man Series) (9780307457974): Stephen Arterburn, Fred Stoeker, Mike Yorkey: Books
Though I am admittably not as pure as this writer- as this book is designed to overcome the desire to feist your eyes on it..

I am not ashamed to say... I enjoy it , my husband enjoys it, we enjoy it together, our emotional connection is the greatest part of sex. I am happy he is not a Puritan.....and sometimes he calls me a "dirty old woman" with a big  on his face, it is all good.


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## trey69

Since this is in the ladies section, I guess its still ok to chime in from a males point of view. 

I can only speak for myself of course. I have watched porn in my day, and even watched it with my wife etc. However, over the past few years its just no longer my thing. I could care less about it. I can't explain it, but for some reason instead of finding the women in porn sexy or hot, I started to feel pity for them more than anything, and the men too actually.


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## Hope1964

Porn bothers me less as I get older. When I met my hubby he had quite the collection - he'd lived on his own for 13 years. He didn't try to hide it from me, which kind of surprised me, because till then I had always thought it was something guys did in private, end of discussion. He also introduced me to movies - till then, as far as I knew, guys watched porn at bachelor parties and to masturbate to and that's all they were for. It was very eye opening, and I found that I liked it too. It sure spiced things up in the bedroom compared to my first husband!

Porn became a problem in our relationship when hubby turned to it as we drifted apart. Before we were married I found porn sites in our computer history and asked him why he was hiding it. He was embarrassed and said he would stop. I caught him again and kind of freaked out - to me, viewing it on the computer was worse somehow than watching movies or looking at magazines, it was more personal, plus he was doing it in secret. After that I found no more history, so he either stopped or got better at hiding his tracks. I think he stopped because things got better between us after the stress of wedding planning and moving in together were out of the way. Then after we were married 8 years he got his own laptop and the bad stuff began. Till then we had shared a computer, so he resisted his impulses. But once he had his own his impulses took over. I went away for a girls weekend no more than a couple of weeks after he got his laptop, and he spent the time surfing porn, signing up for porn sites, and discovering sex chats.

One thing led to another and pretty soon he was paying 'models' to meet up for sex.

Since then we've discovered he has a sex addiction. For a while he wouldn't call it that - he called it a cyberporn addiction. But it's a sex addiction. So we have to be careful what we indulge in, and he doesn't do any indulging solo. We enjoy erotica and movies, but neither of us is ready to do anything on the computer/online, because that strikes to close to what started him along his dark path. You can't visit porn sites without sex chats popping up right in your face, and I think that would trigger both of us.


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## SimplyAmorous

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> I got a free DVD when I ordered some toys on adamandeve.com. I watched it for about 2 minutes and couldn't stand to watch it any longer. It was gross looking at other men's manhood and in the trash it went. My hubby was shocked I actually watched a few minutes of it. I asked him if he wanted to see it for himself and he said its not his thing. He'd rather look at me then any other woman.


We received one of those DVD's from Adam & Eve too, we hated it , I would call that Hardcore , emotionless, magnifying and "ugly", it is the type of stuff, when I was younger, I associated everything BAD with sex-because of that type of porn, we only watch the more romantic type stuff. 

My husband is not an aggressive man, he HATES anything that remotely has a feel of disrespecting women, so he is as onboard with the stuff I like. 

But really...he seems to enjoy watching ME watch it -snuggled up close, neither of us want it on when we are getting down to business. 

He knows, even though a hot guy can turn me on, or seeing a Hot sex scene, my greatest fantasies are me & him, many times I go back in time imagining us doing some of the scenes I have watched or just re-living some of the things we 'missed" in our repressive years. So in this way, a little watching is not taking us away from each other ...at all.


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## CallaLily

Its something I could take or leave. 

However, a few years ago I dated a guy who said he wasn't into porn, he could care less about it and didn't even really watch it. I was fine with that because either way I could care less. He knew up front that I was ok with it if in fact he did like it. 

Anyway, time went by and I ended up finding out he actually didn't like it, he loved it! So much so that he felt the need to lie, even though he knew up front I was ok with it. I ended up finding out from some family members of his he had a problem with porn, as in sexual addictions etc. And had been in treatment for sexual/porn addictions.

I ended up dumping him, not for just that reason but others as well. BUT the main thing that got me was, he felt the need to lie, here I was thinking he didn't care for it because thats what he told me, when in fact he really did and had been watching it all along. After that lie, I thought, you know If I'm with someone who feels the need to lie, then I'm with the wrong person to begin with.


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## Beowulf

I'm just curious what is considered pornography. My wife and I read erotic stories together (Edit: Well we used to before she developed the shutterbug bug). We have attended gentlemen's (i.e. strip) clubs together in the past as well. When we sit down to watch porn movies together we often have to stop after a short time because it's usually so silly we start laughing. Kinda ruins the mood.


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## Stonewall

SimplyAmorous said:


> I am another woman like you ItsAcommitment... I also LOVE an erotic movie with a HOT storyline.... we have rented porn for a time (my desire) and trying to find the softer stuff was a bit of a challenge but It is out there. We stopped renting about 5 months ago, it was a very enjoyable ride while it lasted, I am not addicted to porn, but I can admit I do enjoy it from time to time.
> 
> I am one of the more vocal posters here on this issue, I feel ..... so long as the husband treats us like we are his only love , cherishs us, wants & desires us, our needs come 1st, what more could we ask for.
> 
> On the other hand if you had a husband obsessively compulsed, comparing us, puts it before us, demands we act like a porn star, he is up all night jacking to it while our bed is cold- that is another situation entirely- those women have every right to be as MAD as hell, even kick their sorry butts out.
> 
> My husband doesn't even masterbate to it...I just learned the other day, he said even while we were dating, he didn't do that .... but before he met me, he did !
> 
> He has always enjoyed the looking (his tastes are very tame though)...but waited for "us", he even told me he felt it was like "cheating" (his words , not mine).... so he is a rare rare man indeed.
> 
> I also feel the higher someone's sex drive, generally the more of an allure it is. Men with testosterone that drops below normal looses all interest in porn, so science plays a role here.
> 
> There is a good reason books like this have been written, specifically for men ...I love the fact the Title itself acknowleges that it IS a Battle .... Amazon.com: Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time (The Every Man Series) (9780307457974): Stephen Arterburn, Fred Stoeker, Mike Yorkey: Books
> Though I am admittably not as pure as this writer- as this book is designed to overcome the desire to feist your eyes on it..
> 
> I am not ashamed to say... I enjoy it , my husband enjoys it, we enjoy it together, our emotional connection is the greatest part of sex. I am happy he is not a Puritan.....and sometimes he calls me a "dirty old woman" with a big  on his face, it is all good.



SA, can you name some soft core with a good story? I am having difficulty find that. Every time I think I've found a good one it turns out to be same old wham bam thank you ma'am.


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## SimplyAmorous

Stonewall said:


> SA, can you name some soft core with a good story? I am having difficulty find that. Every time I think I've found a good one it turns out to be same old wham bam thank you ma'am.


Isn't that the truth... you can't go by the picture on the DVD AT ALL, means nothing!!! It is better to know which studios are softer -and go from there. I can not remember the ones I liked though, there was one though! 

I think the #1 best (soft porn)-you can even rent from Netflix is : Amazon.com: Lie With Me: Lauren Lee Smith, Eric Balfour, Polly Shannon, Mayko Nguyen, Michael Facciolo, Kate Lynch, Ron White, Kristin Lehman, Don Francks, Richard Chevolleau, Frank Chiesurin, Nicola Lipman, Theresa Tova, Clement Virgo: Movies & TV

ANYTHING you find on this site (female porn) : CANDIDA ROYALLE

Some R/Unrated ones you can rent through Netflix: 

9 1/2 weeks
Unfaithful (Richard Gere)
Red Shoe Diaries (1982)
Body heat (1981)
Lady Chatterlys lover
Two Moon Junction (1988)
Intimacy

Return to Two Moon Junction (only on VHS, forever a favorite -loved it so much- I got my 2 vcrs to have sex & dubbed it- like 15 yrs ago)... Amazon.com: Return to Two Moon Junction [VHS]: Melinda Clarke, John Clayton Schafer, Louise Fletcher, Wendy Davis, Yorgo Constantine, Molly Shannon, Montrose Hagins, Bill Hollis, Richard Keats, James T. Callahan, David Dunard, Brian Sanders, Suzanne 

These ones are considered PORN...won't find them on Amazon or Netflix and highly doubtful you'll find at any renters place either, we rented many & it was very "hit or miss"...

COLD COUPLING (2005) 
Teach Me Tonight
Pillow Talk 
Justine
The Wedding Day 2010
Hotel Erotica 

Anything PlayGirl I loved (not exactly a storyline -but a little within the scene anyway)


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## cinibun

There is always another side to porn, I too am pretty open minded, however my husband won't even talk about sex with me, and refuses to watch porn with me then I found tons of it on my pc. Now, as i mention Ed already I don't have a problem in general but I mean for us together maybe which has never happens I 20yrs, he was watching collage age girls and lesbians stuff we have two teen daughters and one 23 ur old my stepdaughter. It made me sick, and felt like a kick in the stomach!,, we had stopped having sex, at his lack of interest in me and I had no idea why! Porn destroys marriage and normal feeling a man should share with a live woman, erotica is different it is written words can be a turn on for everyone with the pictures but porn helped destroy what was left of his libido and want for me. I read many forums where men documented porn use and masterbation actually CAUSEd impotence! But of course no one thinks about the women,and our feelings at least mine doesn't as long as he gets off I'm lucky to get a kiss before it's over and I'm nine years younger!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SimplyAmorous

jourdepaye said:


> Pornography as a secret, escalating activity is bad: my husband is the poster child.....
> 
> So my question is: what came first (if you'll pardon the expression!)
> 
> The pornography as a symptom of a marriage gone bad or the catalyst?


I am so sorry for your story, he does sound like a poster child for ALL that can go wrong when one gets an obsessive addiction and carries it to the EXTREME. He needs major help! Extreme addictive personality...does he have any Bipolar or personality disorders in addition to all of this going on ?

Some Bipolars have a something called "Manic Hypersexuality " .... 

Manic Hypersexuality and the Reality of Sexual Addiction

I don't think Marraige counseling is going to do any good until he gets into an ongoing SEX /pornography addiction program... he has to want to overcome this -for himself as well as the marraige. He has to acknowledge he is helpless to this addiction and he needs help, just like an alcoholic. Does he struggle with WANTING TO BE NORMAL, to have a loving emotionally connected sex life - as God intended ...that this is a terrible weight upon his shoulders and he hates himself for it ...

......or he wants to do this, he makes excuses to the high heavens, he is belligerent to do this, continue on, ...and geeze , the Financial alone, how have you managed to stay with him!?? I take it because you know he has a problem, and you are not taking it personally- as difficult as this may be ! You are a very very very strong woman, I must say!

Here are some Porn addiction forums -that might be able to guide you in what he needs to do, also much support for yourself :

Porn Addiction Message Board - Powered by XMB

Support Board • Index page


Sexual Addiction Forum


Pornography addiction programs: 

Pornography Addiction Treatment | Internet Porn Addict Help | Sex Addiction

Porn Addiction; RA's Twelve Step Porn Addiction Recovery Program

Pornography Addiction Counseling


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## cinibun

After confront him about it several times, at first he said it was none of my business! But I did confront again, why? Why the secret? Never got a answer, why teen/collage girls good grief! It did hurt my self esteem badly, I am not overweight and have a job, take care of myself so it made me feel very undesirable at first, then I told him to kiss my arse, I am attractive and I can get another's mans attention he is the one with the issues... I do not know how long this was going on, I only found out about the porn a few months ago when I suspected a emotional affair, and noted he was deleting history from family pc. I thought our marriage was strong, but once I found this I looked back and he just hasn't been that "into me" for years. I have suspected narcissistic personally disorder,poss bi polar or some form of mental, but he denies.. It has been very very hard, I want to move forward but when one has spent years wearing the rose glasses and suddenly they are gone things lookmand feel very different. I cannot go back to being that naive person again, but how to move forward? After several big arguments, he admitted it was his lack of sex drive that was his problem(even that he didn't feel was my business' and didn't want to discuss with me) he said he loves me and is seeking help now for low t, that's great but what about the porn and lack of empathy? I have not found porn since the on the history and I check daily, I've even checked his phone he cannot use his office laptop for such they have spyware for that very reason. Could it be over? What do ineed to do?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hurtnohio

SimplyAmorous said:


> There is a good reason books like this have been written, specifically for men ...I love the fact the Title itself acknowleges that it IS a Battle .... Amazon.com: Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time (The Every Man Series) (9780307457974): Stephen Arterburn, Fred Stoeker, Mike Yorkey: Books
> Though I am admittably not as pure as this writer- as this book is designed to overcome the desire to feist your eyes on it..


Read the Arterburn book. You might get a different perspective on porn. Especially if you're a woman.

I personally don't see any good that can come out of porn. But maybe I'm in the minority here.


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## Toby

Just my own take as I read other stories on porn and relationships. Back in Nov I posted a long winded story on this subject. I dont know how to find it and paste it. But for me and my husband of 22 years it has almost destroyed our marraige. With all that porn comes secrets and then shame and guilt. The lies our horrible and then the porn isnt enough so it escalates.

For the women you feel abandand and not very important anymore the porn takes over. This addiction is about intamacy and escape from reality. It's a high. We have battled this now for 4 years sex addiction counseling is not cheep. 

I would not want my daughter or anyone to live this depressing life of lies and avoidence. It is so painful. My advice is to seek IC but find a pro, I'm still searching. I found a good counselor through domestic violence center, yes I have been mently ruined from this addiction. Just last week he said he was clean and loved me bla bla bla, but forgot to hide the sex singles magazine he picked up. I put a filter on PC so he went a different route. They will find a fix any way they can. Just a note the lack of sex is not because of the partner it comes from the addictt trying to fill up a very large hole in there souls. If I sound bitter I'm sorry but this has been hell. Run if they are in denile. They need to see it's an addiction if they are hideing it, it is.

We used to have a great sex life no hang ups, so I can't tell anyone what happened,he dosn't even know. Depression, looking to get a thrill who knows. It escalates,it tears familys apart because they stop being real in bed or stop altogether it's cheating to leave your partner and replace them with porn. To still expect the partner to give love and care then get rjected. It hurts like hell. Thanks for the listen , take care of you. Toby


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## Jennifer_DIN

I use pornography, so does he. Sex you have with yourself is an important part of your sex life as well as the sex you have with a partner. It's just part of your inner workings, the relationship you have with your own body and your own needs.

Men's sexuality is different from women's; it's more linear, it's more immediate, it's more simple, all in all it is better served by porn than women's is, in general, that's why they're the bigger users of it.

Women are better at 'freestyling' (fantasising without visual aids).
Men just don't have as good an erotic imagination, they need unsubtle footage of genitals apparently. ;-)


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## SimplyAmorous

Jennifer_DIN said:


> I use pornography, so does he. Sex you have with yourself is an important part of your sex life as well as the sex you have with a partner. It's just part of your inner workings, the relationship you have with your own body and your own needs.


*I agree with you...it is very NORMAL to masterbate, even in marriage, and very healthy also*

.... even though me & my husband feel a little different on this....neither one of us enjoys sex with ourselves- in comparison. Even when I masterbated in our marraige, I did it only because I didn't want to wake him up from his sleep (half the time I did...I wanted to every single time but I felt selfish) -- he didn't even do it in our marriage, he "waited" for me. He even went as far as to say he felt if he did that, it was a little like "cheating" (his words, not mine). I told him he was crazy on that part! Ha ha that would make me a cheater!

He said the experience is "hollow" in comparison....and to be honest, so do I...... If I was single, I'd have to get used to it I suppose ....but me & my husband agree... we just want to do the deed together.... We both desire to please -even if the other may not be feeling it as much. I love his attitude in this and I feel the same way. 





> Men's sexuality is different from women's; it's more linear, it's more immediate, it's more simple, all in all it is better served by porn than women's is, in general, that's why they're the bigger users of it.


 This depends on the man too, if a guy is lower test -he is not as antsy and can wait longer periods of time without going crazy without a release. 

My own sex drive became pretty darn "immediate" in my early 40's, I felt just like a man, I swear I stepped into the body of a raging hormonal teen male- for a time. Very eye opening indeed. This is when I started to love a little porn !! I am also very visual. I have always been more "aggressive" than my husband too- with an abundance of energy - so I believe I am a higer Test woman, so it all makes sense.


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## Jennifer_DIN

Absolutely - it may be a boring explanation but I pretty much think that sex drive is quite simply directly proportional to testosterone going around someone at any particular time - men's T can be low sometimes, a woman's can be very high (as teenagers we all have it bad!), but it definitely explains the general trend...


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## cloudwithleggs

Jennifer_DIN said:


> I use pornography, so does he. Sex you have with yourself is an important part of your sex life as well as the sex you have with a partner. It's just part of your inner workings, the relationship you have with your own body and your own needs.
> 
> Men's sexuality is different from women's; it's more linear, it's more immediate, it's more simple, all in all it is better served by porn than women's is, in general, that's why they're the bigger users of it.
> 
> Women are better at 'freestyling' (fantasising without visual aids).
> Men just don't have as good an erotic imagination, they need unsubtle footage of genitals apparently. ;-)


partly agree, partly disagree, i am female and like porn and am very visual.

Some men have elaborate erotic imaginations, maybe you just haven't met any yet, i have met many.  

porn it can be abused or addicted to like any thing else, then it's not healthy.

I don't think it should be something to feel insecure about.


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## SimplyAmorous

hurtnohio said:


> Read the Arterburn book. You might get a different perspective on porn. Especially if you're a woman.
> 
> I personally don't see any good that can come out of porn. But maybe I'm in the minority here.


I think Arterburn is an EXCELLENT Author, I have another one of his books from many yrs ago...but personally I have no desire to change my outlook on porn (again we only enjoy Soft).... I use to be prudish & far too "good girl" minded & it hindered our marraige bed....I feel that caused me MORE hang ups with sex than enjoying a little porn anyday.. so although a great book, if you are a Christian man, and your wife is against it - I highly highly recommend it !! 

......but for Me & mine......I don't see the need, we are happy the way we are. I don't like feeling judged for it, but I know that is the reality I will always face with those who feel it is wrong in every way , shape or form, even the softer stuff . 

I'm not going to lie about what we enjoy, I feel it has been an enhancement and in no way has it affected our emotional connection. Maybe this is the rarer story one hears, but it is ours.


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## SimplyAmorous

Jennifer_DIN said:


> Absolutely - it may be a boring explanation but I pretty much think that sex drive is quite simply directly proportional to testosterone going around someone at any particular time - men's T can be low sometimes, a woman's can be very high (as teenagers we all have it bad!), but it definitely explains the general trend...


I don't think it is a boring explanation at all - I find it terribly fasinating myself. Most women will NEVER understand the mind of the average male - their lower test levels can not allow it. (but like you say we can all be a little different )....

*An average woman has 40 to 60 nanograms of testosterone in a deciliter of blood plasma. An average man has 300 to 1,000 nanograms per deciliter*.

Here is a very long but interesting article -all about the BIG T... The He Hormone .... Although little about porn itself was mentioned.... the differences in MEN compared to women was spoken in quite depth, and how Levels majorly affect our psychological outlook.


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## Jennifer_DIN

Absolutely - you get freak occurrences though (women with loads, men with very little), and I'm sure the amount of it in your bloodstream varies from moment to moment ;-)

I'll never understand what it feels like to have a male amount of it (and grateful I am for it too!) going round...


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## Trenton

Itsacommitment said:


> How do you all feel about pornography?
> 
> I'm a pretty open person sexually, I've never really had a problem with it. I personally would prefer an erotic movie with some story to it, it thats the type of mood I'm in. Porn just seems cheesy and unrealistic to me, so doesnt turn me on at all. Plus, some parts of the industry make it hard to be turned on. Pictures though, I can understand.
> 
> My husband is an excellent lover and very attentive to me. Porn is not a taboo subject and not hidden or anything like that. He usually watches it if I'm sick and therefore not capable of having sex and dont feel like pleasing him other ways. (I have some chronic illnesses) But he always prefers to have sex with me, and attempts to with me before finding some time alone to take care of it himself. He never turns me down, even if he happened to already take care of himself earlier. So in my marriage it really doesnt seem like a big deal. Porn would only bother me if I felt he was masturbating all the time to the point that he didnt want to have sex with me. Or if he wasnt able to fulfill my needs because he masturbates too much.
> 
> I'm just wondering about other women's take on it. I know porn is an absolute NO for a lot of women. Are there any of you that are more like me??


I'm not more like you because porn is an absolute no for me and that is based upon educating myself in regards to the industry. The cheap kicks received from commercial porn is not worth the great possibility that it's actually hurting someone real that is in the industry. It's sort of comparable to my reason for not purchasing an IPad, IMac, IPhone, ITouch when I'm fully aware that there are real people with nerve damage making $1 an hour for the work they do in China. I'd rather not think different when it means thinking like a jackass. I could go on, because there are a lot of things I won't do based upon what I see is right or wrong with porn just being one of them. My husband respects this.

Having said that, I'm very open sexually. Between my husband and I, I am willing to try anything. I'll also add that my husband is a truly great lover. He doesn't masturbate and he doesn't watch porn. At first I didn't believe this but now, after 15 years of really good sex and quite a bit of investigative research (haha), I do. He is 38 now and still is up for it whenever and can go several rounds with the same level of excitement. Not to mention is fully attentive and interacts with me sexually all the time. This has never been any different no matter what part of our relationship we were in (babies, fighting, etc.)

I would never say no to my husband though and I'm more than willing to dress up/dress down or add variety and so this might also play a role in why our sexual relationship has always been good. In other words, I ask him to respect my ideals about porn but I'm more than willing to create our own porn using everything within both of our combined imaginations.


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## chillymorn

Trenton said:


> I'm not more like you because porn is an absolute no for me and that is based upon educating myself in regards to the industry. The cheap kicks received from commercial porn is not worth the great possibility that it's actually hurting someone real that is in the industry. It's sort of comparable to my reason for not purchasing an IPad, IMac, IPhone, ITouch when I'm fully aware that there are real people with nerve damage making $1 an hour for the work they do in China. I'd rather not think different when it means thinking like a jackass. I could go on, because there are a lot of things I won't do based upon what I see is right or wrong with porn just being one of them. My husband respects this.
> 
> Having said that, I'm very open sexually. Between my husband and I, I am willing to try anything. I'll also add that my husband is a truly great lover. He doesn't masturbate and he doesn't watch porn. At first I didn't believe this but now, after 15 years of really good sex and quite a bit of investigative research (haha), I do. He is 38 now and still is up for it whenever and can go several rounds with the same level of excitement. Not to mention is fully attentive and interacts with me sexually all the time. This has never been any different no matter what part of our relationship we were in (babies, fighting, etc.)
> 
> I would never say no to my husband though and I'm more than willing to dress up/dress down or add variety and so this might also play a role in why our sexual relationship has always been good. In other words, I ask him to respect my ideals about porn but I'm more than willing to create our own porn using everything within both of our combined imaginations.


porn is like gold or diamonds.

ever see the way third world countries treat gold and diamond miners?

all you women who dislike porn because of how it treat women better stop wearing the bling. or your just a hypocrite.


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## SoWhat

I understand the "I won't consume X because it injures someone, even if I consume Y (which also injures someone)"... hypocrisy isn't inherently terrible. 

But I do find "I WILL consume X, and you shouldn't consume Y" to be a bit much. 

A person who supports the diamond industry and says "men shouldn't look at porn because it hurts the women involved" is a person who, IMO, isn't *really* objecting to the 'hurting the women' part. 

I think that's an ex post facto justification for the insecurity/jealousy/etc gut reaction to the porn. 

There's also the scale here: the diamond trade's negative consequences are, I think, pretty clearly worse than those of the porn trade. I'm sure someone will debate that point but I doubt I'll buy it.


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