# I Used to Be BashfulBull



## BashfulB (Jul 1, 2013)

Hello everyone. I used to be a member here a few years ago. I haven't posted in a couple years. I wanted to come back and post an update and announce some sad news about my ex-wife. I have been lurking lately and I saw some members had asked how I was doing, although I imagine most of you forgot who I am.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

BB good to see you, dude! Sorry you came to share sad news, but good to see you regardless sir.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

I remember you.

Welcome back!

Sad news is sad, but we're all here for support.


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## SuburbanDad (Jul 31, 2018)

I remember your story. 

I hope YOU are doing better


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## BashfulB (Jul 1, 2013)

Thanks. I've missed you all. 

Just wanted to let everyone know that my ex-WW passed away from a heart attack around two weeks ago. They just had her funeral this past weekend.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Wow, sad to hear... how are you doing with this?


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

I'm sorry, BB. You always struck me as a kind, decent man who was really hoping your X could get past her demons. I'm guessing that she didn't.

How is your stepson? I'm sure he's taking it hard, but I hope he's standing up okay under it.


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## BashfulB (Jul 1, 2013)

Thank you. I am actually doing okay. It was indeed a shock to hear from my stepson that she had died. He and I had not talked in a while and he called me late the next day after her death to break the news to me. He is of course upset and grieving, but his Air Force job and being a young dad keeps his mind busy. About a year ago he got married to a really nice young woman, and they just had a new baby. 

The exWW was found on the floor of the store she was working at by a coworker. They tried to revive her but she was DOA upon arrival at the hospital. There was no autopsy done, but there was no indication she was on drugs at the time of her death. My stepson said she had been sober for around two years and was rebuilding her life a little by little. What I do know is she had gained a huge amount of weight. Couple that with the abuse her heart took when she was using meth, along with her smoking, and I wasn't surprised she died so suddenly.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

I guess I'd find consolation that she died clean. I'm not sure why, but I do.


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

Thanks for thinking about us BB.

I'm sorry to hear the sad news.

Don't be a stranger around here my friend.

Take care!


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## Broken_in_Brooklyn (Feb 21, 2013)

BashfulB said:


> Thank you. I am actually doing okay. It was indeed a shock to hear from my stepson that she had died. He and I had not talked in a while and he called me late the next day after her death to break the news to me. He is of course upset and grieving, but his Air Force job and being a young dad keeps his mind busy. About a year ago he got married to a really nice young woman, and they just had a new baby.
> 
> The exWW was found on the floor of the store she was working at by a coworker. They tried to revive her but she was DOA upon arrival at the hospital. There was no autopsy done, but there was no indication she was on drugs at the time of her death. My stepson said she had been sober for around two years and was rebuilding her life a little by little. What I do know is she had gained a huge amount of weight. Couple that with the abuse her heart took when she was using meth, along with her smoking, and I wasn't surprised she died so suddenly.


BB, I recall your story. I am very sorry to hear about this loss.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

I remember your story. I had just got here. 

Sorry about your wife. How are you doing?


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## BashfulB (Jul 1, 2013)

GTdad said:


> I guess I'd find consolation that she died clean. I'm not sure why, but I do.


I'm comforted as well. She was a tortured soul. I like to think she found a small amount of redemption before she died.


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## BashfulB (Jul 1, 2013)

sokillme said:


> I remember your story. I had just got here.
> 
> Sorry about your wife. How are you doing?


I'm doing well thank you. Just working and living my life like all of you are. My wife has a great attitude and she hides her pain well from myself and her daughters. My side job is to make sure she takes care of herself.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

BashfulB said:


> I'm doing well thank you. Just working and living my life like all of you are. My wife has a great attitude and she hides her pain well from myself and her daughters. My side job is to make sure she takes care of herself.


Is this in reference to a current wife? Is she not ok in some way?


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## BashfulB (Jul 1, 2013)

3Xnocharm said:


> Is this in reference to a current wife? Is she not ok in some way?


My current wife has rheumatoid arthritis. A very aggressive case of it.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Welcome back, brother. It's good to hear from you again.

From an administrative standpoint, if you PM @EleGirl, she should be able to get your old account back to you.

It's sad to hear about your ex, but it sounds like your stepson is doing absolutely wonderful. I think it's great that you've maintained that relationship with him.

I think @bandit.45 was mentioning you just a few months back. I just tagged him as I'm sure he will be eager to read your update as well.

Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

BashfulB said:


> My current wife has rheumatoid arthritis. A very aggressive case of it.


It can make for a painful life. 

My grandmother's fingers were literally angled backwards from her arthritis. She was a tough old bird, and she never complained about pain, but I knew she had plenty of it to go around.

Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Since TAM does not allow a user to have multiple accounts, I'm going to merge your two accounts. Which name do you want to use? The old one or this new one?


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

BashfulB said:


> My current wife has rheumatoid arthritis. A very aggressive case of it.


Did you tell the story of meeting her, I don't seem to remember that. The last time I remember your son was joining the force. You ex had moved in with the guy she cheated with then moved out I think was sorry and blamed drugs. Am I right about that?

Your story was one of the ones that got me hooked on this site.

You, river rat, and the guy whose his father wasn't biologically related and that broke up their relationship, don't remember his name.

Also that old couple whose wife cheated after like 50 years or something. (That one was rough)


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## BashfulB (Jul 1, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> Since TAM does not allow a user to have multiple accounts, I'm going to merge your two accounts. Which name do you want to use? The old one or this new one?


Thank you for doing that ma'am.


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## BashfulB (Jul 1, 2013)

sokillme said:


> Did you tell the story of meeting her, I don't seem to remember that. The last time I remember your son was joining the force. You ex had moved in with the guy she cheated with then moved out I think was sorry and blamed drugs. Am I right about that?
> 
> Your story was one of the ones that got me hooked on this site.
> 
> ...


I met my now-wife when I had moved to where I live now, and after I had filed for divorce. We dated a bit, then stopped for a while and then picked back up and never looked back.


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## BashfulB (Jul 1, 2013)

Another update for those who are interested. My stepson called me and said he got the toxicology screen back from the coroner. My deceased exWW had no illegal substances or drugs in her system. I take comfort in this as she was clean when she passed away and I like to think she was on the road to rebuilding her life. 

I am astonished how hard I am grieving for her. It has been several weeks but the reality is really just now starting to dig into me like a bore. I grieve for the good and decent parts of the woman I knew. She was not always bad or messed up. Not by a long shot. She was also a very giving, and a wickedly smart lady. She was fun to talk to and interesting to be around. She loved her son and was a great mom to him during his growing years. We had some really fun and happy moments together...lots of them, and as much as she hurt me in the end (and hurt herself) I still have love hidden away for her deep inside. You think you have completely gotten over someone who betrays you like this, but do we ever really get over those who we let ourselves fall in love with? I'm not so sure we ever really can.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

She became a different woman than the one that you loved. But that woman she was before you can love in memory forever. Those memories are good ones and you should keep them always.


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## skerzoid (Feb 7, 2017)

BashfulB

Meth is evil incarnate. There should be a special place in Hell for those who profit from the misery that is being marketed in our country. You did all you could. Your story was an inspiration to all of us.

Remember the good. Her son is a gift to you. Thanks for the update.


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