# can't deal with it



## sonnyboy1862 (Apr 26, 2010)

I have been married for 27 years and 1 day my wife says , I don't love u anymore , shes says I love u but i'm not in love with u , I asked her y and she says i just don't , i said there has to be a reason , either i did something wrong or there is another man .. she says its niether .. I am very confused and hurt , she has since left me and moved to another state , but she does come back and we make love and shes acts like she loves me all over agian and then she gets back to where she is living and then treats me like **** , now keep in mind I love this women with all my heart and soul . we r still married . and the other day she was calling around to find out about a divorce and or legal seperation . but she doesnt have the money to file , and i said if u want it that bad i will pay for it . she said no i'm going to wait . well the other day i found out she was suppose to go on a date to the races . well this hit me like a ton of bricks . and i did something i thought i would never do , i tried to end my life ,i sit in my house alone and i get so depressed and angry and hurt by all this . this is not me at all , everyone says to move on and forget about her . aint so easy . I am affraid that i might try something like that agian . I am at my wits end and no where to turn . I think i am losing my mind .i have delt with alot of things in my life and never once did i ever think this way . i stood like a man and got us through it . this i just can't deal with . I love her and i miss her so much . well hope u people don't think that im just another ******* with problems .


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## pochael (Apr 12, 2010)

Something that may help you... In a big way is a Book called the Love Dare. And to give you an understadning of it, there is a movie called Fireproof.... You should check them out.


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## cantletgo (Mar 22, 2010)

Oh Sonny, I am so sorry. 27 years is a long time to love someone, so of course you can't just get over it and move on. But please please please don't kill yourself. Get into counseling, keep talking to us here. We are all going through our own versions of hell and I know that I have found great support on this site. I have no great advice on how to deal with this, I am going through a similar situation with my husband, after 10 years together he doesn't love me anymore. He is still living with me, trying to find a place, and we still hang out, have fun, have great sex, but at the end of the day he still wants out. I'm hurt and confused and betrayed and all of the emotions that come with this. I never attempted to take my life, but have had moments where I wish I would just keel over dead. You have got to get some professional help sweetie. This is not something you should try to handle alone. Do you have close friends or relatives you can lean on? I know guys usually internalize problems and don't like to seek help, but you may want to make an exception in this case.


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## pochael (Apr 12, 2010)

Cantletgo is right. It is not worth dying for. In fact if you love this girl as much as you say you do, then you cannot even consider this option. 
I was think a lot about what you said. And maybe she is the one that needs you more than you need her. She could be in a much more confused state than you think. You need to start looking at options that help you though. Because there is no way you can help her, until you are OK.


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## onelonelymom (Feb 3, 2010)

I agree with CantLetGo and Pochael. 
Killing yourself is not the answer. I myself have considered, but you know I just have to keep telling myself that my daughter needs me and I can't do that to her. I also don't want my family and friends to go through the hurt. 
I told my stbx that I no longer love him or (that I am no longer in love with him) and I filed for divorce. I acted on impulse and anger and now I am hurt about it, but that is another story. Anywho, you know I do still love him and I do still care very much about him, but I just couldn't live with his ways anymore. I am very torn up because of my decision because I do care very much about him and love him dearly. 
I know it doesn't seem it right now, but it will get better and it does get easier, I can promise you that. There are happier days in your future. Although it hasn't started with me just yet I have seen it happen to others. 
Hang in there and go see a therapist, but please don't kill yourself. I do promise it will get better. Again, hang in there. Hugs to you!


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