# Beliefs disconnect



## MCA123 (Feb 11, 2019)

Hi all, I’m legally separated and divorcing wife of 21 years. We are both dating others and I’m interested in a girl who has brought about some doubts in me with regards to compatibility. We dated a little a few years ago during my wife and my initial separation. She is a sweetheart and a total knockout who wants to be exclusive. The hurdle that I am discovering is we have a lot of different belief systems. She is pro Trump and I could never vote for a guy like him even though I’m conservative (truly don’t want to start a political argument here). She hasn’t been vaccinated and I have although I’m not super scared of covid so to speak. She takes the Bible very literally where is I think it’s allegory but am Catholic. She wants to invest money she can’t really afford into crypto, while I have done well my whole adult life avoiding trendy financial themes and I invest conservatively in dividend stocks, commercial properties etc. Are these things too big of hurdles? Did I mention she’s really hot? 😄


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

She is an extremist. I'm into Trump, but I'm not a fundamentalist extremist. Most people aren't. I would run from any religious fundamentalist of any sect. I think it shows a lack of intelligence and an insurmountable rigidity and someone who can't think for themselves as well as someone who also doesn't take responsibility for their own action, when they're that literal and all about "faith." Look, just because she's hot doesn't mean she's right for you. And if she's that fundamentalist, she may only want to have sex for procreation or something else off the wall. Her financial plans are speculative and unsafe. Being hot isn't everything. Snap out of it.


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

She sounds like a great catch for someone else.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Erm based on your description I say go forth and multiply!


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

ccpowerslave said:


> Erm based on your description I say go forth and *multiply*!


....separately.


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## MCA123 (Feb 11, 2019)

DownByTheRiver said:


> She is an extremist. I'm into Trump, but I'm not a fundamentalist extremist. Most people aren't. I would run from any religious fundamentalist of any sect. I think it shows a lack of intelligence and an insurmountable rigidity and someone who can't think for themselves as well as someone who also doesn't take responsibility for their own action, when they're that literal and all about "faith." Look, just because she's hot doesn't mean she's right for you. And if she's that fundamentalist, she may only want to have sex for procreation or something else off the wall. Her financial plans are speculative and unsafe. Being hot isn't everything. Snap out of it.


I hate to hear it but you’re probably right. I did mention how hot she was right? 😄


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Hot will fade. The other stuff won’t. Keep looking.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

MCA123 said:


> I hate to hear it but you’re probably right. I did mention how hot she was right? 😄


Typical response of a typical man that is thinking with his little head rather than the right one.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

MCA123 said:


> I hate to hear it but you’re probably right. I did mention how hot she was right? 😄


You probably wouldn't think so after being with her for about a year.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

MCA123 said:


> Hi all, I’m legally separated and divorcing wife of 21 years. We are both dating others and I’m interested in a girl who has brought about some doubts in me with regards to compatibility. We dated a little a few years ago during my wife and my initial separation. She is a sweetheart and a total knockout who wants to be exclusive. The hurdle that I am discovering is we have a lot of different belief systems. She is pro Trump and I could never vote for a guy like him even though I’m conservative (truly don’t want to start a political argument here). She hasn’t been vaccinated and I have although I’m not super scared of covid so to speak. She takes the Bible very literally where is I think it’s allegory but am Catholic. She wants to invest money she can’t really afford into crypto, while I have done well my whole adult life avoiding trendy financial themes and I invest conservatively in dividend stocks, commercial properties etc. Are these things too big of hurdles? Did I mention she’s really hot? 😄


It's not insurmountable. The key is whether or not the *both *of you, not one or the other, can allow the other to have their beliefs without trying to convert them to their own. These marriages do happen and they work. BUT they also take work, a lot more than most marriages do. So be certain. A live together period would not be amiss.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Sounds like she is v committed to her faith while you aren't, that's a big difference right there. It's great that she is passionate about things, but if you don't share her passions that may be hard. 
Please stop putting the fact that you think she is hot first. It's really not a good reason to be with anyone when there are glaring differences. 
Maybe wait till your marriage is over before dating again.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

MCA123 said:


> Did I mention she’s really hot? 😄


Wow. Talk about a vacuous reason to stay in a relationship with someone. 

You differ on basic, fundamental beliefs/philosophies. 

And if you think she's gonna be smokin' hot when she's 75, then you'd better start looking for someone with whom you can be compatible in more ways than physical attributes. Seriously.


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

You lost me at bible. But I’m sure there were some hotties in biblical times, so you should be a match


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

MCA123 said:


> I hate to hear it but you’re probably right. I did mention how hot she was right? 😄


When you choose with your **** and not your brain, you get ****ed in very unpleasant ways.

How does that sound?


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## MCA123 (Feb 11, 2019)

Diana7 said:


> Sounds like she is v committed to her faith while you aren't, that's a big difference right there. It's great that she is passionate about things, but if you don't share her passions that may be hard.
> Please stop putting the fact that you think she is hot first. It's really not a good reason to be with anyone when there are glaring differences.
> Maybe wait till your marriage is over before dating again.


Yes, it was simply a joke. I’ve had like 8 dates with her and we’ve never gotten physical. The right head is making the decisions. Appreciate the input.


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## johndoe12299 (Jul 12, 2021)

MCA123 said:


> Hi all, I’m legally separated and divorcing wife of 21 years. We are both dating others and I’m interested in a girl who has brought about some doubts in me with regards to compatibility. We dated a little a few years ago during my wife and my initial separation. She is a sweetheart and a total knockout who wants to be exclusive. The hurdle that I am discovering is we have a lot of different belief systems. She is pro Trump and I could never vote for a guy like him even though I’m conservative (truly don’t want to start a political argument here). She hasn’t been vaccinated and I have although I’m not super scared of covid so to speak. She takes the Bible very literally where is I think it’s allegory but am Catholic. She wants to invest money she can’t really afford into crypto, while I have done well my whole adult life avoiding trendy financial themes and I invest conservatively in dividend stocks, commercial properties etc. Are these things too big of hurdles? Did I mention she’s really hot? 😄


1. Pro Trump - what does this mean? Is eh super hardcore, maga hat wearing, trump supporter? Or simply a conservative who will always vote R due to pro-life(lots of christians do this which is why i ask).

If she's not super extreme or anything, I don't see this being a hurdle. I would have a discussion with her on various political issues one by one to find out truly where each of your politicial beliefs lie, not simply on whether or not you are trump supporters. You will probably find you have more in common politically than you think(most people do despite the constant arguing)

2. Vaccination - Why is this a hurdle? People are entitled to their beliefs about whether they want to inject themselves with an unapproved vaccine. I don't see it as being a big deal imo.

3. The bible - yeah, this could be a problem. If she takes everything literally then that's a whole other issue than being a christian that follows the bible's teachings. Like someone mentioned if you lack the capacity to realize that not everything in the Bible is intended to be literal, that may be a sign of some intelligence hinderances.

4. Crypto - she wants to invest in the best performing asset of the last decade? And you're mad about that? I am biased as I'm heavy in crypto but why isn't she welcome to invest as she pleases with her own money? Ask her her reasoning, does she have a good understanding of blockchain technology or is she just blindly throwing money at different alt coins hoping to get rich quick?


Honestly the only real issue i see here is the religious thing. If you don't share the same spiritual passion that will probably always be a roadblock in the future. I would try to pry more and get a better understanding of her beliefs, and why she believes those things and go from there.


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## romantic_dreamer (Jun 15, 2021)

Does not matter how hot she is you are both incompatible. This incompatibility will ruin your relationship sooner or later.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Do you have fun being around her? Do you have good sex??

If yes, then who cares what her politicalnand biblical leanings are? You don’t have to be legally committed to, financially intertwined with or have children with her. 

Are you really going to remarry and have more kids at your age?? 

Just live life, enjoy yourself not worry about she’s doing inside the voting booth.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

TXTrini said:


> When you choose with your **** and not your brain, you get ****ed in very unpleasant ways.
> 
> How does that sound?


Aren’t those lyrics from an 80s song?


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

MCA123 said:


> Yes, it was simply a joke. I’ve had like 8 dates with her and we’ve never gotten physical. The right head is making the decisions. Appreciate the input.


I missed this post the first time I went through the thread. 

Why are you looking to remarry and buy pots and pans and new furniture with someone you’ve only had 8 dates with and haven’t even had sex with??? 

Is she hot and do you enjoy spending a little time here and there with her? Those are the only questions you should be asking yourself right now.

If the answers to both are yes, then don’t worry about tomorrow. 

And if the answer to either one of those is no, then move on. 

You’re not even out of one marriage and legal/financial commitment, Why are even considering another one??????


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## Noman (Oct 17, 2014)

MCA123 said:


> She is pro Trump and I could never vote for a guy like him even though I’m conservative


_coff*RINO*coff_

She deserves better.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

MCA123 said:


> Are these things too big of hurdles? Did I mention she’s really hot? 😄


The differences are insurmountable hurdles for a sustainable LTR but given how "hot" you think she is I think a few months of great sex will be the suave your bruised ego needs in the immediate aftermath of your pending divorce. Have fun for now. When you are feeling better about yourself move on to somebody with whom you can have a complete relationship with in and OUT of the bedroom.


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## MCA123 (Feb 11, 2019)

johndoe12299 said:


> 1. Pro Trump - what does this mean? Is eh super hardcore, maga hat wearing, trump supporter? Or simply a conservative who will always vote R due to pro-life(lots of christians do this which is why i ask).
> 
> If she's not super extreme or anything, I don't see this being a hurdle. I would have a discussion with her on various political issues one by one to find out truly where each of your politicial beliefs lie, not simply on whether or not you are trump supporters. You will probably find you have more in common politically than you think(most people do despite the constant arguing)
> 
> ...


She mentioned that her 9 yr old son is having heavy anxiety with Biden in office 😬 and he can already see all of the ways Biden is ruining America. As far as vaccination, my kid has asthma and is higher risk. She does want to “invest“ and some old coin that supposedly pays 7.4%. When something seems to be too good to be true, it usually is. If it were a couple thousand dollars, that’s one thing but she wants to borrow a big chunk of home-equity to do it.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

MCA123 said:


> She mentioned that her 9 yr old son is having heavy anxiety with Biden in office 😬 and he can already see all of the ways Biden is ruining America.


Gives me hope for the future.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

Having different beliefs doesn't make you incompatible, mishandling them does. If this sounds crazy to you, you will probably mishandle them so mark her as incompatible and move on.

OTOH, the long version is, bitter wars have been fought between religious factions that, to outsiders, seem indistinguishable while James Carville and Mary Matalin have a long and successful marriage. The difference is, how the difference was dealt with.


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## MCA123 (Feb 11, 2019)

Noman said:


> _coff*RINO*coff_
> 
> She deserves better.


Ha ha. I guess I fit the description when he’s involved. Give me a Rand Paul and I’ll be back. What I don’t get is the fact that Trump is such polar opposite from her. He is a thin-skinned, incurious, immoral, adulterer who I’d never let near my daughter or do a business deal with. That said, I do think the media slanted some things he said and his policies weren’t necessarily that bad. I have plenty of friends who voted for him and we are still friends too.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

MCA123 said:


> Ha ha. I guess I fit the description when he’s involved. Give me a Rand Paul and I’ll be back. What I don’t get is the fact that Trump is such polar opposite from her. He is a thin-skinned, incurious, immoral, adulterer who I’d never let near my daughter or do a business deal with. That said, I do think the media slanted some things he said and his policies weren’t necessarily that bad. I have plenty of friends who voted for him and we are still friends too.


There's a political forum on this site. Political discussions are supposed to happen there.


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## MCA123 (Feb 11, 2019)

Sfort said:


> There's a political forum on this site. Political discussions are supposed to happen there.


I definitely realize the futility of political arguments. Only mentioned it because I’m not understanding the disconnect between what she actually is and what she supports. I got some good feedback here though and thanks to everyone who chimed in.


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## MCA123 (Feb 11, 2019)

D0nnivain said:


> The differences are insurmountable hurdles for a sustainable LTR but given how "hot" you think she is I think a few months of great sex will be the suave your bruised ego needs in the immediate aftermath of your pending divorce. Have fun for now. When you are feeling better about yourself move on to somebody with whom you can have a complete relationship with in and OUT of the bedroom.


I think there would have to be a commitment before we move into the bedroom and I just can't fake my interest with her to get there. I want to get past the red rope, but won't lie to do it. Thanks though!


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## MCA123 (Feb 11, 2019)

SpinyNorman said:


> Having different beliefs doesn't make you incompatible, mishandling them does. If this sounds crazy to you, you will probably mishandle them so mark her as incompatible and move on.
> 
> OTOH, the long version is, bitter wars have been fought between religious factions that, to outsiders, seem indistinguishable while James Carville and Mary Matalin have a long and successful marriage. The difference is, how the difference was dealt with.


Yeah, I always admired them for that.


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## MCA123 (Feb 11, 2019)

Prodigal said:


> Wow. Talk about a vacuous reason to stay in a relationship with someone.
> 
> You differ on basic, fundamental beliefs/philosophies.
> 
> And if you think she's gonna be smokin' hot when she's 75, then you'd better start looking for someone with whom you can be compatible in more ways than physical attributes. Seriously.


I'd say we have a lot of compatibility other then the things I listed...we get along great, she's the sweetest girl I know and we enjoy our time together. Nothing physical has every happened and I still enjoy spending time with her. I probably came off as vacuous, so I get why you think that. Thanks...


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

MCA123 said:


> I'd say we have a lot of compatibility other then the things I listed...we get along great, she's the sweetest girl I know and we enjoy our time together. Nothing physical has every happened and I still enjoy spending time with her. I probably came off as vacuous, so I get why you think that. Thanks...


All you have to do is to follow your guts. If your guts are telling you that something is amiss, then something is amiss on average. Since you are here pondering and asking for opinions, then you know that something is amiss with this woman as far as compatibility with her goes, and/or more.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

MCA123 said:


> I think there would have to be a commitment before we move into the bedroom and I just can't fake my interest with her to get there. I want to get past the red rope, but won't lie to do it. Thanks though!


That's good. 
Are you both Christians? If so then your know that sex is wrong for you anyway right now, especially as you are still married.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

D0nnivain said:


> The differences are insurmountable hurdles for a sustainable LTR but given how "hot" you think she is I think a few months of great sex will be the suave your bruised ego needs in the immediate aftermath of your pending divorce. Have fun for now. When you are feeling better about yourself move on to somebody with whom you can have a complete relationship with in and OUT of the bedroom.


Seems mercenary to use and deceive her like that.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

MCA123 said:


> She mentioned that her 9 yr old son is having heavy anxiety with Biden in office 😬 and he can already see all of the ways Biden is ruining America. As far as vaccination, my kid has asthma and is higher risk. She does want to “invest“ and some old coin that supposedly pays 7.4%. When something seems to be too good to be true, it usually is. If it were a couple thousand dollars, that’s one thing but she wants to borrow a big chunk of home-equity to do it.


Why are you concerned with what she does with her money or her politics? Not your circus, not your monkey. 

Your only concern at this time should be whether she’ll give you a hummer in the car after you get done with dinner and a few drinks or whether it will be after you get her back to your place. 

You are putting the cart 4,283 miles in front of the cart here. 

You’ve only had a handful of dates and you are already wondering about what your kids with her will look like and what you’re going to name them. 

STOP THAT!!! 

You’re acting like a 19 year old girl that just had her first date with an adult man that has a job, car and his own place. 

You need to get untangled and cleaned up from your last train wreck. Stop trying to ride this this one off the rails. 

Look at this gal as a hot Saturday night date to get out of the house and have some fun out in the town. 

If you don’t like her financial management or politics then don’t intertwine your finances and politics with her. 

You shouldn’t be bringing her around your son at this point anyway whether she’s vaccinated or not.

You need to settle down and worry about getting out from under your current marriage with your property, parental rights and finances intact before you worry about marrying some other chick.

One train wreck at a time here Buddy, one train wreck at time.


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## MCA123 (Feb 11, 2019)

Diana7 said:


> That's good.
> Are you both Christians? If so then your know that sex is wrong for you anyway right now, especially as you are still married.


Yes, we are but like I said, she's more fundamentalist and has a literal interpretation of the Bible and it's a disconnect. I don't want to do anything that makes her uncomfortable.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

MCA123 said:


> I think there would have to be a commitment before we move into the bedroom and I just can't fake my interest with her to get there. I want to get past the red rope, but won't lie to do it. Thanks though!


You need to stay away from any kind of commitment for awhile other than getting through your current divorce with as much skin intact as possible and taking care of you son. 

Other than that, don’t commit to anything or make any kind of legal or financial obligations. 

I don’t care if she makes your junk so hard you could crack walnuts with it, you need to mind your own immediate business first and not worry about finding Train Wreck # 2 yet.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

In your other thread you mentioned reading books on relationships etc.

Something to add to your reading list is Dr Laura Schlesinger’s “10 Stupid Things Men Do To Mess Up Their Lives” and get a grip on yourself before you check off that 10th box.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

MCA123 said:


> I think there would have to be a commitment before we move into the bedroom and I just can't fake my interest with her to get there. I want to get past the red rope, but won't lie to do it. Thanks though!


I am not suggesting you lie. I am suggesting you agree to right now. If that is not something you are comfortable with then you have a decision to make: give up your principles to get with the hot woman whose choices you can't stand or get a new woman. It really is that simple. What you are asking for is unreasonable: You want her to give her up principles to make your choices. In essence you want her to fundamentally change who she is & that is not fair or realistic. 

IMO she's nuts & makes bad choices. I don't care how "hot" she is. I couldn't be with a man who I thought was an idiot. But I'm a woman & rarely make decisions with my sex organs. 

Choice is yours.


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## MCA123 (Feb 11, 2019)

oldshirt said:


> In your other thread you mentioned reading books on relationships etc.
> 
> Something to add to your reading list is Dr Laura Schlesinger’s “10 Stupid Things Men Do To Mess Up Their Lives” and get a grip on yourself before you check off that 10th box.


I always liked her, but haven't read the book. Susanne Venker is good too. I agree on your advice to keep it casual...


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> Gives me hope for the future.


Lol!!!


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

If her political and/or religious beliefs are a deal breaker for you why are you wasting her time. Just move on to someone that’s more compatible. There are plenty of lukewarm Christian women out there that you don’t have to wear down a woman with strong beliefs just because she’s hot. Trying to be something you’re not in order to get in her pants is wrong.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

MCA123 said:


> I think there would have to be a commitment before we move into the bedroom and I just can't fake my interest with her to get there. I want to get past the red rope, but won't lie to do it. Thanks though!


What I don't like about how you sound is that it seems like she is being open and honest with you about who she is and how she lives her life, and you are being secretive and judgy towards her. You even backtrack a little in your posts when you don't like how you sound about your true feelings. 

That type of dishonesty is a huge red flag to me.

You owe it to this woman (and any future woman) to be honest and open too, and let her know that you don't respect most of her views, so you can't see any actual future with her...but if she is up for some no strings sex with you, you would enjoy that.

If you can only accept and respect women who share opinions and beliefs nearly identical to yours, you should choose your potential partners based on that, instead of something as superficial as how "hot" she is.
Your first posts sound like the stereotypical guy that every woman is trying to avoid when deciding if it's safe to have sex with someone she really likes. It's NOT a good look on guys.

And you should always, ALWAYS be open and honest about your true, actual feelings and expectations. I know it's almost a knee-jerk reaction for men to hide things or outright lie to get sex from women, but that type of short-sighted behavior will almost always create bigger problems for you in the long run.


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## MCA123 (Feb 11, 2019)

LisaDiane said:


> What I don't like about how you sound is that it seems like she is being open and honest with you about who she is and how she lives her life, and you are being secretive and judgy towards her. You even backtrack a little in your posts when you don't like how you sound about your true feelings.
> 
> That type of dishonesty is a huge red flag to me.
> 
> ...


Dishonest? No, I think you're assuming things that aren't true. I've told her that I disagree with her and that I think the Bible is allegory and I practically begged her not to invest in this crypto-coin. Judgy? Since when is it a good idea to withhold judgement when deciding if someone is a good partner? I guess if you literally interpret the Bible, we should never make any judgements regarding anyone, lest we be judged.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Jesus: life in this planet is all based on judgment. All living things judge and consciously discriminate in order to get the most advantage that life can offer, or in order to survive. Now I think that it is very hypocritical of people talking and beating their chests against judging, we humans all do it one way or another, but we all do it. So let's not be too disingenuous.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

MCA123 said:


> Dishonest? No, I think you're assuming things that aren't true. I've told her that I disagree with her and that I think the Bible is allegory and I practically begged her not to invest in this crypto-coin. Judgy? Since when is it a good idea to withhold judgement when deciding if someone is a good partner? I guess if you literally interpret the Bible, we should never make any judgements regarding anyone, lest we be judged.


I didn't mean to make you defensive.
What I meant in my post was that YOUR posts make it sound like you are withholding how harshly you are judging her, and I'm simply telling you that you are setting up some serious future problems with her if you are in fact doing that.

You sound like you are only able to accept and respect women who share opinions and beliefs nearly identical to yours, so my advice is that you should choose your potential partners based on that, instead of something as superficial as how "hot" she is.

And have you been open with her and let her know that you don't respect most of her views, so you are doubting any actual future with her...? Because if you are hesitating on having that discussion because she is "hot" (like you made it sound in a few of your posts), then you ARE being dishonest, in my opinion.

But you are free to disregard my opinion if I am wrong, or if you want to.


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## MCA123 (Feb 11, 2019)

LisaDiane said:


> I didn't mean to make you defensive.
> What I meant in my post was that YOUR posts make it sound like you are withholding how harshly you are judging her, and I'm simply telling you that you are setting up some serious future problems with her if you are in fact doing that.
> 
> You sound like you are only able to accept and respect women who share opinions and beliefs nearly identical to yours, so my advice is that you should choose your potential partners based on that, instead of something as superficial as how "hot" she is.
> ...


No, you have a point. I haven't had the conversation about my doubting our future, but I need to soon. Thanks for your input..


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

ccpowerslave said:


> Aren’t those lyrics from an 80s song?


No clue. I was a kid then.


MCA123 said:


> She mentioned that her 9 yr old son is having heavy anxiety with Biden in office 😬 and he can already see all of the ways Biden is ruining America. As far as vaccination, my kid has asthma and is higher risk. She does want to “invest“ and some old coin that supposedly pays 7.4%. When something seems to be too good to be true, it usually is. If it were a couple thousand dollars, that’s one thing but she wants to borrow a big chunk of home-equity to do it.


I admire people who can sort out their differences, but politics is a big contention waiting to happen. If you two can't at least agree to disagree, don't bother. Heck, I asked men their political learnings as one of my filters when I was dating  .

All jokes aside, why are you two getting kids involved so early? I gather you're still legally married, aren't you rushing this a tad? Slow down horsey!

The whole point of dating is to assess compatibility and determine if you want to move forward, right? It sounds like you're too different from each other and want different things. Maybe she's right about the crypto, who knows? However, putting that much money into it is nuts, I guess she never heard about diversification. Yikes!

Anyway, sorry to come down on you so hard with my comment, you did sound like a one-trick pony with your initial post and I reacted hashly to that. My apologies. LisaDiane is quite right, women avoid men who comes across like that like the plague.


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## MCA123 (Feb 11, 2019)

Not a problem, TXTrini! I don't feel like I need to rush into anything, but she asked me my intentions yesterday at lunch. I told her that I want to date around a bit and have fun, but it didn't look to be the right answer  I guess I avoided getting too heavily into it since it would be a deep conversation and I wanted to keep it light. She's the type that doesn't date around but instead wants commitment. I've been legally separated since March and my soon-to-be-ex already jumped the gun on dating so I feel free to date.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> Aren’t those lyrics from an 80s song?


Hey, I missed this post!!! Lol!

Shouldn't YOU be the one who knows if it's from an 80s song...?? Enlighten us, oh Swamee of 80s music...!!!!!! 
Lolol!!!!


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## johndoe12299 (Jul 12, 2021)

MCA123 said:


> She mentioned that her 9 yr old son is having heavy anxiety with Biden in office 😬 and he can already see all of the ways Biden is ruining America. As far as vaccination, my kid has asthma and is higher risk. She does want to “invest“ and some old coin that supposedly pays 7.4%. When something seems to be too good to be true, it usually is. If it were a couple thousand dollars, that’s one thing but she wants to borrow a big chunk of home-equity to do it.


Ok yeah....this seems way over the top with the 9yo stuff. And yeah, borrowing money to invest in crypto is a big red flag. I definitely get the temptation. She's probably talking about staking coins which guarantees a return(that 7.4 number) but yeah, i wouldn't be kosher with that. Why doesn't she invest free cash that she has?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

If you don't believe that the Bible is real or true then there is no point in being a Christian.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Diana7 said:


> If you don't believe that the Bible is real or true then there is no point in being a Christian.


This isn't the religious forum.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> Hey, I missed this post!!! Lol!
> 
> Shouldn't YOU be the one who knows if it's from an 80s song...?? Enlighten us, oh Swamee of 80s music...!!!!!!
> Lolol!!!!


Lol… Trini harshed my mellow with her I was just a kid line. I was too (ish).

Too young to have gone to Iron Maiden Live After Death at Long Beach Arena, CA by a few years but old enough to have worn out the VHS.


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

MCA123 said:


> Not a problem, TXTrini! I don't feel like I need to rush into anything, but she asked me my intentions yesterday at lunch. I told her that I want to date around a bit and have fun, but it didn't look to be the right answer  I guess I avoided getting too heavily into it since it would be a deep conversation and I wanted to keep it light. She's the type that doesn't date around but instead wants commitment. I've been legally separated since March and my soon-to-be-ex already jumped the gun on dating so I feel free to date.


You certainly don't! Look, I'm the last person who'd ever shame for you dating before your divorce was finalized, I met my b/f a few months before mine was.

I'm saying, don't go rushing into another serious committed relationship when you haven't got all your ducks in a row. It sounds like you are both at different life stages, in addition to not being compatible. It's not a criticism, just an observation that could save both of you some pain.

I'm well aware of the pain caused by one partner waiting for the other to be ready to be in the same headspace, many people can't deal with waiting for that.

Btw, that was not a wrong answer, it was an honest one. She may not like it, but you told her before you two got intimate, many men are self-serving and would "hit that", _then _tell her. Neither of you is wrong here, it's time to simply go your separate ways and wish each other luck.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

MCA123 said:


> I told her that I want to date around a bit and have fun, but it didn't look to be the right answer  I guess I avoided getting too heavily into it since it would be a deep conversation and I wanted to keep it light. She's the type that doesn't date around but instead wants commitment.


So you responded to my initial inquiry by stating that you two have "a lot" of compatibility. See ^^above^^ and enlighten me on what is fundamentally compatible about the way the two of you are approaching this relationship. Because from where I'm sitting, this sure as heck doesn't sound like "a lot" of compatibility.

And, just to summarize from what you posted:

You have a lot of different belief systems
She is pro-Trump
She hasn't been vaccinated
She takes the bible literally
She* wants to invest money* that you claim *she can't afford* into crypto

Appears to be a substantial amount of incompatibility to me. And you think her approach to money isn't prudent? Just wait and see how that pans out if this relationship gets exclusive. Money and sex. Two critical items a couple needs to be in agreement about to avoid serious issues.

Sorry. You are thinking with your little head here. I don't see this ending well ... JMO


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

MCA123 said:


> I don't feel like I need to rush into anything, but she asked me my intentions yesterday at lunch. I told her that I want to date around a bit and have fun,


This is the one sensible thing you have said throughout this whole thread.

That was a perfectly legitimate and sensical answer.

If she doesn’t like that answer, too bad so sad for her. 

She’s a grownazz woman and can opt out at any point she wants if she doesn’t want to follow you along on your path. 

You need to man-up and do what’s best for you and what’s right for you and your family and lifestyle. 

The woman that is right for you is the one that wants to join you on your path,,, Not one where you have to do back flips and deep knee bends to try to fit into her agenda. 

You do you. 

If that’s not for her, then that’s her perogative, just move on to the next. 

You spent years and years being a dancing monkey trying to appease and accommodate your wife, look how well that worked out for you. 

Lesson learned here is you do you and stick to your purpose and your path and stop trying to twist and turn yourself into someone else to try to accommodate goofy chicks.


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## MCA123 (Feb 11, 2019)

Prodigal said:


> So you responded to my initial inquiry by stating that you two have "a lot" of compatibility. See ^^above^^ and enlighten me on what is fundamentally compatible about the way the two of you are approaching this relationship. Because from where I'm sitting, this sure as heck doesn't sound like "a lot" of compatibility.
> 
> And, just to summarize from what you posted:
> 
> ...


I probably am conflating getting along/enjoying our time together with having lots of compatibility.


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## MCA123 (Feb 11, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> Lol… Trini harshed my mellow with her I was just a kid line. I was too (ish).
> 
> Too young to have gone to Iron Maiden Live After Death at Long Beach Arena, CA by a few years but old enough to have worn out the VHS.


With a handle like ccpowerslave, I should've guess the Maiden connection.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

MCA123 said:


> I probably am conflating getting along/enjoying our time together with having lots of compatibility.


Huh???? Could you clarify? Because I listed the things you posted about your belief differences, not some rabbit I pulled out of a hat.


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## MCA123 (Feb 11, 2019)

I'm saying you are probably right about us having compatibility issues. I've been confusing our getting along/enjoying our time together as being compatible which you correctly pointed out that we are not.


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## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

8 dates and nothing has happened yet she wants to be exclusive???? Even if those other issues didn't exist this would be your biggest issue.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

@MCA123 I am currently in the same situation except I'm a woman with a Fundamentalist Christian Conservative FWB. I can't take our relationship seriously even though when things are good, I see him 3-5 times a week. 

We've been on an off for 2 years. Tried a traditional committed relationship 6 times and it always fails because he can't accept "agree to disagree". It eats him up inside. But when we avoid politics or religion, we get along great.

I know there is no happily ever after with him. (he seems to think there is but that's another story). However he's a great "happy for now". 

This woman may not be "the one" but honestly, if everything else is good, why not enjoy each other's company for the time being? Unless you have a conga line of women waiting for you to ask them out, there is not a lot to lose here.


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## MCA123 (Feb 11, 2019)

Thank you. I’ve recently joined Bumble and there is a bit of a conga line to try rather than committing with her. I’ve come to the conclusion she’s a great girl but a bad match and it’s too soon to commit to anyone.


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