# I think my husband doesn't love me ......



## loveandbeloved63 (Jul 30, 2012)

I been married for 21 years. Have put up with a lot of mistreatment from my husband. Once I was so down about us that again I told him my concern about our marriage. His response was so indifferent he said "just non sense". I asked him "could you just hold me u don't have to say anything to me just hold me". He completely ignored me and went to bed. I was left crying. 
These last weeks he is working away from home. He gets home on Thursdays. Each of these weekends have been miserable at home with him. He treats me as if I bother him. During sex he is all about me and I must say sex is good. But after sex it all goes back to indifference towards me. This time on Thursday when he arrived, I greeted him with "I missed you and wanted to see you". But right after I said wanted he sounded out a sound of rejection. 
He doesn't say a word, nor engage in any conversation with me or my sons. But he doesn't miss the moment to correct or comment something negative about me or the boys. Today I had it. It had been hours since we said 'good morning', when he came to the downstairs bathroom and complaint about how dirty the towel was left ... the boys are so dirty.
I had had it and told him he needed to stop and go back to where he is happy. He in turn answered "be careful with what you say" 
What do you think or what can help me.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

He needs a dose of his own medicine. Many years ago I had similar problem with my wife. I withdrew affection and became distant suddenly and stayed that way until she realized the problem and that she had to give to recieve. It took a while and was hard to do as I am absolutely not natured that way. But it worked.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## loveandbeloved63 (Jul 30, 2012)

Wow! I had just being thinking about doing that. It really isn't me I'm more of a run and hug and lets have a good time. But little by littl it seems he doesn't like it. Even Using words like thank you, that's beautiful, it just gets him upset and his response is "stop that stupidity".
Thank you, I will try it and I pray I can be constant at it.


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## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

> I had had it and told him he needed to stop and go back to where he is happy. He in turn answered "be careful with what you say"
> What do you think or what can help me.


He sounds like he has other plans on the back burner. Acts like it too.


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## Bellavista (May 29, 2012)

Unfortunately it does sound as though something is going on. My H was like that when he was falling for someone else. I don't want to alarm you, but is there a possibility that he could have met another woman where he works away or be having 'fun' times while away?
My H later admitted he was behaving the way he was so that I would leave him, reliving him of the guilt of being the one who left the marriage. Then he could be free to pusure the other woman. I was too dense to see that was what I was supposed to do so he had to leave in the end.
See if you can do some digging while he is home & have a think about this possibility


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

I'm with Stonewall. 

You have kids together and have a long history together, so I wouldn't go rushing into divorce if it's avoidable. But I certainly wouldn't be very tolerant. 

I think guys learn a lot more from our actions than they do from our words. So if my words didn't work the first time, I'd be planning ways to mirror his behavior.


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## Hopefull363 (Feb 13, 2012)

I used to fight back with my husband. Now when he snaps at me. I just say whatever in a low non whiny voice and walk away. I stay away from him. He doesn't like me withdrawing my attention to him. But I don't feel like giving attention to someone that is not treating me respectfully. He usually thinks about it then comes back over to me and tells a silly joke or gives me a hug. That's his way of saying I'm sorry and we move on.

So the next time your husband complains about something silly like a towel, just say whatever and walk away. Change the way you react to him, it will throw him off balance.


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## loveandbeloved63 (Jul 30, 2012)

I feel kinda off asking about this, but here it goes. 
I like having sex, but it seems i'm always the one starting it. When I ask my husband he says it's always up to me. I have told him I would also like for him to take the initiative, he seems to agree, but never does.
It has been 2 wks without sex, and it seems he's fine. I don't understand. I always hear men have the drive and desire, but he doesn't seem too fall into that category.
I'm not sure what is going on.... what do you think.


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

It seems you already have suspicions that he's in an affair. The signs are certainly there, but it seems you are reluctant to acknowledge unpleasant news or something. What's the real, deep down truth you're avoiding?


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## loveandbeloved63 (Jul 30, 2012)

I don't see how. He leaves early to work and gets home around 2:30 pm. Doesn't leave after that. Even though he doesn't have much interaction with our sons, they let me know he's at home.
Somehow I wish he did have an affair so I could have something to grab on, and say that is it.
My situation really discusses me. When riding in the car with him, no matter how far, only about 2 sentences are said.
But If I'm taking to the boys he'd constantly corrects me or somehow puts me down. When the boys ask something I wait for him to answer, he ignores them. So when they ask me he starts again to correct me.
Anything I cook he dislikes, they boys will love it ... our friends request that I cook. And a few times I've heard a friend in common tell him "you're lucky man!"
Oh when he is home all he does is watch TV or lay in bed. 
I've asked him to talk to his dr and see if he is depress ... he won't. I'd ask for us to go to counseling, he doesn't want to expose our personal life to anyone. I've asked him what life... what personal life we don't have one.

it all sounds and is bad.


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