# Texting - Dating



## Jellybeans

...And taking this from another thread I just wrote on...

*Does anyone talk on the phone anymore? *

Seriously.

I seem to meet people and they all want to text. A lot. All the time. I did meet one guy who wanted to talk and text but also, ALL t he time. Like to the point of madness. I began to dread our phone call sessions cause I knew it would happen.

Ok I just made no sense.

But I digress.... back to the initial question: Do people talk on the phone anymore? Who are meeting and perhaps dating? (Potential dating)?

Let's discuss.


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## DvlsAdvc8

Nope. haha

I've had entire relationships that never had a phone call. Just texts.

But I'm not big on texting or calling unless its to arrange something.


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## minimalME

Trying to have conversations through texting drives me crazy, and I purposefully only pay for limited texting on my phone.

But I don't care to talk on the phone either. 

If someone is local, how about just face to face?


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## Jellybeans

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Nope. haha
> 
> I've had entire relationships that never had a phone call. Just texts.


:rofl: Me, too!

Sign 'O the Times


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## hereinthemidwest

I noticed the same thing. Drives me crazy! How can someone develope a dating relationship is beyond me. I just usally give up. And say, hey nice talking to you I have weeds to go pull.


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## unbelievable

Women with that particular affliction are likely also out of my age range, anyway. If not, they'd be out of my tolerance range.


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## Cooper

Honestly texting at times drives me nuts! I have given my number to women who just start radomly texting me silly worthless bits and then when I call they won't answer the phone! Then half an hour later I get another text "sorry, I was in the shower" so I call again, and again no answer. So in that 10 seconds between the time I received your text and I dial your number you become busy? 

Nothing wrong with texting to make some plans or ask a question but I see no sense in texting back and forth all day and night.


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## Hardtohandle

I fvcking hate it.. Straight and simple..

Beyond being annoying, you can misinterpret stuff as well too. You mean one thing and they understand it as something else.. 

My old GF would text fight with me.. She would send me a WALLOFTEXT over something that was bothering her. I would tell her can't you do this in person and just talk to me ?

I can't wait for the economy to collapse and the zombies to rise. We need some medieval, no power, non texting times..

Sometimes I almost can relate to my Ex's relationship. She moved out and moved in with him.. Boom all the BS courtship done in 90 days... Be dammed with knowing someone.. I will find out how much they suck while I live with them.

Whereas we are stuck doing this new courtship ritual nonsense.


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## Jellybeans

Hardtohandle said:


> *My old GF would text fight with me.*. She would send me a *WALLOFTEXT* over something that was bothering her. I would tell her can't you do this in person and just talk to me ?


:rofl::rofl::rofl:

Unintentionally funny!


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## Lon

I used to think texting was the most ridiculous and useless invention ever. Nowadays I think it is one of the most efficient ways of communicating. If there is something I need to say or ask I no longer have to hold it in my head and blurt it out when I finally get the opportunity to live, I read my texts when I have the chance and there is no pressure to reply right away so I have time to think about my reply, plus I also have a record of what I wrote so that I don't forget all the little details I always forget.

It is still ridiculous to have a back and forth live conversation over text though (unless one or both are in an environment where they can't talk on phone). And yes, big pet peeve is when someone texts, wants to have a text conversation right then and there but when you phone them they refuse to pick up - usually I find its because they are in the midst of multiple text conversations, which I personally find a little disrespectful if they want my immediate attention.


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## omgitselaine

Guilty as charged!!! I often text everyone .... mom , dad , brother sister and of course my husband Joe  Its the easiest way of communicating where a response or reply back can be done at one's earliest convenience. 

If its urgent then a simple phone call can be made otherwise its texting.


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## Lordhavok

Texting is killing romance


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## Amplexor

Lordhavok said:


> Texting is killing romance


Yup, romancing a woman just isn't what it used to be.


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## CEL

I shall be the texting defender!!!

1. You can answer when you want.

2. If you want to get to the point it is hard to beat texting with declarative sentences.

3. You can update your SO with random stuff which I don't mind as I like to hear about peoples days.

4. You can send something to someone that you want them to know without worrying if you are disturbing them.

5. It is simple to respond and if you do have someone you want to share your day with then you can without worry.

6. It is a step above email and a step below calling.

7. Pictures OMG pictures nothing like getting a picture of your SO "with clothes on" when you know they are feeling good and looking great.

8. I take picture of my hikes and like to send the good ones to my friends they enjoy them.


Like I said it is a step not the journey it allows people to feel safe and in control. They can respond if they want and can wait to decide what they want to say. It is very safe for them. And many who start relationships need to feel safe that they are not under pressure. Now I prefer phone calls but only when the other person can really talk not just hello or a good bye. Or a grocery list. If you call me let me settle in and enjoy the conversation.

Today's relationships are filled with steps why can't you enjoy all the ways to communicate? Just have boundaries on what you are like and what is appropriate. If you don't want all the useless texts "I like them" then set that up. If you don't like the wall of text then tell the person that the heavy stuff needs to wait till you can talk "I am okay either way". If you want pictures then ask but be respectful of the other person. I think the problem most have with texting is not the medium but how people use that medium.

I loved talking through email it was fun you could really go on and on about stuff and really feel like you got it all out. But then I enjoy all forms of communication.


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## COGypsy

Hey CEL--did you know that you can sing just about any Emily D!ckinson poem to the tune of "The Yellow Rose of Texas".

True story.

Try it.


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## Hardtohandle

CEL said:


> 8. I take picture of my hikes and like to send the good ones to my friends they enjoy them.


Well thats what they are telling you.. They are texting other people something different. 

Sorry couldn't resist.


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## Ceegee

It's about balance I think. 

Only text sucks. 

Texting is cool to let someone know you're thinking about them. 

Texting is good for letting you're SO little things like "I'm home" or "I'm thinking of you".

Conversations should be left for phone calls and IRL. 

BTW, pictures without clothes on are cool too!! 😉


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## Conrad

If texting becomes a weapon, you've got a problem


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## meson

Jellybeans said:


> ...And taking this from another thread I just wrote on...
> 
> *Does anyone talk on the phone anymore? *
> 
> Seriously.
> 
> I seem to meet people and they all want to text. A lot. All the time. I did meet one guy who wanted to talk and text but also, ALL t he time. Like to the point of madness. I began to dread our phone call sessions cause I knew it would happen.
> 
> Ok I just made no sense.
> 
> But I digress.... back to the initial question: Do people talk on the phone anymore? Who are meeting and perhaps dating? (Potential dating)?
> 
> Let's discuss.


I do. But I'm and my kind are going extinct. I climb with a lot of young people and I just figure out what protocol they want to use and I use it. The climbing addiction is too strong to quibble over communication methods. It's common to use anything from special forums to email to text, Facebook or twitter. Even the partners closest in age like to text a lot. I like it because I can answer at work while I'm in a meeting. 

Over communicators are despised even by the young. Nobody likes a storm of texts or other messages. A lot of my single women friends avoid them after it starts. 

Check out this link for an amusing look at the trend:

xkcd: Preferred Chat System

Oh and here is a way to communicate via GPS. I kept up with a friend in the back country witha Spot.

http://www.findmespot.com/mobile/


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## Ceegee

Conrad said:


> If texting becomes a weapon, you've got a problem


My breakup and divorce with ex occurred via text. 

Yeah, she told me she wanted a D via text.


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## Pbartender

Hardtohandle said:


> I can't wait for the economy to collapse and the zombies to rise. We need some medieval, no power, non texting times...


So we can go back to sending each other letters handwritten on paper, instead of telephoning?



Texting -- or any other sort of instant messaging -- in of itself isn't bad. It's all in how you use it and what you use it for. It's simply just another form of communication.

The problem is that people have let themselves get lazy in regards to communicating. They take no effort or pride in what they say or how they say it. That's a problem no matter how you communicate, whether it's through text, telephone, letter or in person. And it's a problem with the person, not the mode of communication.

I, personally, hate talking on the phone. It's... uncomfortable ...for me to talk to someone if I can't see them. I have a very difficult time picking up on mood and intent and other implied subtexts without the accompanying body language. And that makes it all too easy for me to misinterpret.

Oddly enough, I don't have that problem when writing. Perhaps, because the very physical process of writing helps to slow down my ADHD brain and gives me time to consider and edit my thought before committing them to expression.

For me, when I'm texting or messaging someone, I treat it almost like letter writing, but I get the advantage of having the recipient be able to respond to my letter in real-time.

I supposed it's all a matter of taste... What you're used to, and what you're comfortable with.


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## angelpixie

COGypsy said:


> Hey CEL--did you know that *you can sing just about any Emily D!ckinson poem to the tune of "The Yellow Rose of Texas".
> 
> True story.
> 
> Try it.*


Yesss!!! Now I know what DS and I are going to do tomorrow!! :smthumbup:


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## COGypsy

It's a trick from my literary criticism days (think mathletes with words). You could always pick her pieces out on a test using that trick. It's a little scary actually, but effective. As demonstrated by the fact that I could tell you Cel's siggy was Emily D!ckinson


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## CEL

COGypsy said:


> It's a trick from my literary criticism days (think mathletes with words). You could always pick her pieces out on a test using that trick. It's a little scary actually, but effective. As demonstrated by the fact that I could tell you Cel's siggy was Emily D!ckinson


Most impressive thing I have see or heard today....been a slow day


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## inarut

Initial texting is fine. Anyone who can't pick up or answer a phone or plan a date is not that interested... not worth your time or attention
_Posted via Mobile Device_

Now....in an established relationship texting can be a lot of fun...


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## death and taxes

Ceegee said:


> My breakup and divorce with ex occurred via text.
> 
> Yeah, she told me she wanted a D via text.


I did a break-up with a gf entirely by text. Only because my first two attempts in person were not quite successful. I wavered and didn't follow through. 

But a spouse saying they want a D via text? Straight up cold.


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## DvlsAdvc8

While live conversation gets so much more across than text, I gotta say I prefer text nowadays. Phone calls can be really annoying. 

I hate those calls I've gotten where the girl didn't really have a reason to call, but "wanted to hear [my] voice" or whatever. No subject, lots of dead air, completely awkward if I was preoccupied and I'm the bad guy if I try to get off the call. If I don't manufacture conversation, I get asked what's wrong. How you going to call someone and expect them to drive the conversation? You called me! What do you want? SMH.

Then there's the calls I get that I suspect are really aimed at verifying I'm not with someone else. Try to get off the call or don't answer and they think I'm keeping secrets. 

The bulk of the phone calls I've gotten in the past year from women are these sort of annoying calls. So yeah, I'm now a big fan of text.


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## Tomara

U know what I hate. Texting guy, "give me a call". Me, when hell freezes over, you call me!

Okay, yes I am in a bad mood today lol


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## EnjoliWoman

Lon said:


> I used to think texting was the most ridiculous and useless invention ever. Nowadays I think it is one of the most efficient ways of communicating. If there is something I need to say or ask I no longer have to hold it in my head and blurt it out when I finally get the opportunity to live, I read my texts when I have the chance and there is no pressure to reply right away so I have time to think about my reply, plus I also have a record of what I wrote so that I don't forget all the little details I always forget.
> 
> It is still ridiculous to have a back and forth live conversation over text though (unless one or both are in an environment where they can't talk on phone). And yes, big pet peeve is when someone texts, wants to have a text conversation right then and there but when you phone them they refuse to pick up - usually I find its because they are in the midst of multiple text conversations, which I personally find a little disrespectful if they want my immediate attention.


Perfectly sums it up. With on-line dating after a couple email exchanges I talk to the person over the phone, set up a meeting and talk in person. If I start dating someone, texting is a nice way to check in without being overbearing - how is your day, thinking of you, etc. But actual conversations over text? No. 

I don't think it kills romance unless you let it. I think texting can be VERY romantic if done correctly.


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## Lon

*Re: Re: Texting - Dating*



EnjoliWoman said:


> I don't think it kills romance unless you let it. I think texting can be VERY romantic if done correctly.


I agree, (and I have firsthand experience with my current flame that a properly done text message can lead to a very passionate encounter


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## Freak On a Leash

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Nope. haha
> 
> I've had entire relationships that never had a phone call. Just texts.
> 
> But I'm not big on texting or calling unless its to arrange something.


:iagree: :iagree: I HATE talking on the phone. With a passion. I've lost a few friends over it. "You never answer the phone". No matter HOW many times I tried explaining that emailing or texting was the BEST way to converse with me they took it as an insult so I just stopped dealing with them. 

I've had guys tell me that they don't like texting when it comes to dating, that they prefer to talk on the phone. I've told them that they won't be dating me if they want to spend time chatting on the phone and feel it's insulting to just text. Too bad for them, I won't budge on this one. 

I spend hours talking to and dealing with customers on the phone at work and for me, the phone=stress/work. When I'm off I want to be OFF THE PHONE.

Plus, I'm not at my best on the phone. I prefer to be able to think about what I'm going to say before I say it and texting/emailing is perfect for that. Chatting on the phone is not. Recently, I've begun texting customers more than talking with them, which makes life much easier. They seem to like it better too. :smthumbup:

Plus I can't do anything else when I talk on the phone. With texting I can multi task and answer at my own pace, on my own terms. If I'm going to spend an hour talking to someone on the phone socially we might as well make a date/time and get together and have fun. Phone talking is just an irritating waste of time for me.

However I will say that as much as I PREFER texting I don't like to be bothered by it. If it happens continuously and about stupid stuff I will ignore it, block it, etc. I'm just not into excessive "chatting" and "small talk" in general. I have better things to do with my time.


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## Freak On a Leash

omgitselaine said:


> Guilty as charged!!! I often text everyone .... mom , dad , brother sister and of course my husband Joe  Its the easiest way of communicating where a response or reply back can be done at one's earliest convenience.
> 
> If its urgent then a simple phone call can be made otherwise its texting.


I'm the same. My daughter and I rarely talk. We text each other almost every day. It's just easier. 

I had NO contact with my ex husband for 4 months. Then my son moved back in with him and my ex wanted to call me and "discuss it". Every time we talk we fight so I refused to speak directly to him. I would only accept texts so that's what he does if he has something to communicate to me.


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## angelpixie

Sending and receiving texts during the work day is much easier to conceal than phone calls. And can certainly liven up a boring meeting.


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## 2galsmom

No contact is key Freak on a Leash!

I like texting, I think it is one of the greatest inventions ever. Why call and waste time if you can text someone?

As for phones, as a middle schooler I spent 3 hours a day on the phone no joke. Then again in college I spent a lot of time on the phone. Over the years I came to avoid it but now after my divorce I find myself catching up with old friends via the phone again and it is nice.


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## Freak On a Leash

2galsmom said:


> No contact is key Freak on a Leash!


:iagree: I never realized how stressed out talking to and dealing with my ex made me until I stopped. So I cut out all contact. BEST thing I ever did! Then my son decided he wanted to go live with him again..

My son called me and said "Daddy wants to talk to you about my living with him". I said "No way, have him text me". 

I texted him that I would take care of all my son's expenses and if he needed something or was coming home to please text me. My ex texted "Ok". He asked about when our son was going a check up and today texted me to tell me he would be coming home Thursday night to sleep over til Friday. 

I said "OK". 

That was it. No fights, no stress. 

My ex HATES texting and rarely does it. When he does text he can get off about 2 words at a time. What a perfect solution. :smthumbup:


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## arbitrator

*There's always a time and a place for texting as well as online communication! But in my relationships however, I'd greatly prefer personal good old interfacial interaction, followed only by telephonic communication!

And when I'm truly motivated by her, I can write an absolutely "mean" love letter, compose different types of poetry, and express some rather original heartfelt sentiments within a card!

And I would truly pray that she would do the very same for me!*


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## COguy

I like both texting and calling.

I would never "text only" someone. I would never ask someone out on a date via text, at least not in the early stages.

I might send a text to say, "Hey I had fun on wednesday" or something. I might text throughout the day to keep it light.

I personally find texting too frequently to be similar to online dating, it allows for an unrealistic relationship to happen.


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## Jellybeans

arbitrator said:


> There's always a time and a place for texting as well as online communication! But in my relationships however, I'd greatly prefer personal good old *interfacial interaction, *


Interfacial interaction.

HAHA totally going to start saying that all the time now!

Aw, how romantic arbitrator! I have always wanted someone to write me a love letter. Maybe some day.


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## RandomDude

Half the time during the day when I was living with STBX our conversations were mostly just texts. It was better that way as I could answer them at my convenience rather than on the spot especially when I'm at work.

So hey, I was used to it by the time I went back to the dating game earlier this year when we seperated. Don't really see what's wrong with it unless of course it's text only or something which never happened at least in my case.


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