# How do you handle a wife with depression?



## dwalt78 (Oct 17, 2011)

Does your wife have depression? How do you handle it without going crazy and leaving her?


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

dwalt78 said:


> Does your wife have depression? How do you handle it without going crazy and leaving her?


You get into some counseling. Hopefully a professional can provide some kind of suggestions etc. You may even be able to find support groups in your area for people with depression or for families who has a loved one with depression. 

How long has she had depression?


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## dwalt78 (Oct 17, 2011)

She says she has had it ever since she got diabetes, so for about 13-15 years. But I did not know about her depression until 2 years ago and it is getting so much worst.


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

dwalt78 said:


> She says she has had it ever since she got diabetes, so for about 13-15 years. But I did not know about her depression until 2 years ago and it is getting so much worst.


Has she actually been to the doctor and been diagnosed with depression? Or does she just feel that way in general? If she hasn't been to the doctor she needs to go get checked out. 

Does she takes pills and or shots for her diabetes? Is she managing that ok?


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## Lydia (Sep 4, 2011)

As a W who has had depression - she will have to want to go into therapy for HERSELF. You will not be able to force her out of her depression. However, you can encourage her and bring up the idea (but be careful about this). 

I would start by telling her what you love(d) about her when she's not depressed. Make her miss who she use to be. Then tell her how you feel and what you want in the relationship. Hopefully she will choose to change and go to a doctor/therapist.


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## dwalt78 (Oct 17, 2011)

She has went to the doctors and been diagnosed and she is currently taking medication and she will be switching back to prozac. She goes to therapy but she says it is going to take like 10 years for her to actually get everything said. I talk to her and I have told her what I miss. She does recognize that she has depression and that it is hard for her and me. I love her and I want to make it through this but last night she told me this is something that is going to be for the rest of our lives. I got scared, how can I handle this for the rest of our lives? I can't imagine being in her shoes but on my end can she imagine how I feel. Any time I tell her how It is effecting me she totally disregards how this is for me. Am I being selfish?


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## Lydia (Sep 4, 2011)

Dwalt, no you are not being selfish. Though your wife can get better, this is something you will probably be dealing with for quite some time. And it's going to be hard. It is silly for anyone not to admit that depression will affect the spouse.

I am glad that it seems she wants to work on things and realizes that there is an issue. Things can get better and reverse themselves... But for many people (not all), depression is a lifelong battle. I think seeing a doctor and therapist for her would be really beneficial - and maybe if *you* saw one too, they would help you cope with dealing with someone like your W and the emotions/issues that her condition creates for you too.


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## Thewife (Sep 3, 2007)

Hi, 
I have had mild depression and now fine without any medication. I can imagine what my husband would have gone through. Like Lydia says get counselling for yourself as well. your wife has to stop thinking its going to be lifelong if she thinks that way it becomes that way. Its a good thing that she knows what she is going through thats the first step in coming out of it. Now she needs to want to come out of it and get the negativity out of her. I hope the therapy helps her to be positive first.


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