# STD??????



## samdew9 (Jun 10, 2013)

So I found out that my wife had sex with another guy about 2 years ago. Pur marriage and the healing has had it's ups and downs but has overall been really good. The one nagging thing is that she would not get tested for stds. 

I started getting boil like sores in my pubic area and pimples around the base of my penis. She thought it was just a coincidence because she has never had anything like that. 

Fast forward 2 years and I haven't had the boil like sores anymore but I still am getting pimples around the base of my penis that happens literally every time that we have sex. I even take a shower immediately after sex every time and scrub the area but to no avail. This is getting so frustrating!!! 

It would be hard to find a place that does std testing anywhere near where we live because privacy in healthcare does not exist in small towns. Which is one of the reasons why my wife says that she didn't get tested.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

GET TESTED. NOW!!!

Are tests available by mail?

Interesting. Your wife will cheat in a small town, but she will not have STD tests in the same small town.

Hypocritical.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

Sounds like Herpes, possibly Pemphigous Vulgarous. But, my money is on the former. The gift that keeps on giving for the rest of your life. You can take meds to suppress recurrences, but still. You get tested. If your privacy is violated. That is one very big lawsuit. You need to do it for your own peace of mind, and possible future with this woman.


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## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

Yes, you can get mail kits. But, they may not be as accurate as a place with a lab on site.


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## samdew9 (Jun 10, 2013)

I guess my question would be that I have not been able to find an std that fits what I have so I'm wondering if anyone has any idea of why? I jave always maintained that it comes from him because none of this stuff happened before she was with him.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Privacy shouldn't be your main concern when it comes to potentially serious medical issues. However, by law doctors have to keep your medical records confidential. Sure, the office staff may gossip amongst themselves but nothing you can do about that. You can't take a chance with your health because she is "embarrassed". Can you go somewhere in the next town over?

If not, I would go in and tell the truth to the doctor. "My wife had an affair two years ago and these are my symptoms." You both need to be tested.

Believe me, doctors have heard it all.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Btw, herpes doesn't usually "come out" every time you have sex. It lies dormant for awhile, then flares up with painful, weeping lesions. Sounds more like some kind of contact dermatitis to me.

Go get tested. Be sure to go when the bumps are present. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

You wont know until you get tested. She may be blindsiding you. Its different for men and women. For women, it is not often seen outside of the vagina, and will frequently be "masked" as a yeast infection.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Cheating wife w/ a potentially caustic vagina?

You need to see a doctor AND a lawyer.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

samdew9 said:


> So I found out that my wife had sex with another guy about 2 years ago. Pur marriage and the healing has had it's ups and downs but has overall been really good. The one nagging thing is that she would not get tested for stds.
> 
> I started getting boil like sores in my pubic area and pimples around the base of my penis. She thought it was just a coincidence because she has never had anything like that.
> 
> ...





So she didn't care about the scandal of having an affair in a small town, but getting tested for STD's is just too much for her:scratchhead:

Do you use lube during sex? It could be something as simple as a reaction to that, or by you scrubbing off after you have sex with her. Boils are caused by Staph bacteria, and the pimples could be caused by the same. Your wife might carry staph or it is possible that it is just you that does, you need to be tested for that. They just swab your nose to test that usually.

That said you should get checked for peace of mind both of you should. Privacy laws surrounding health care are very strict and I don't care how small of a town you live in they still apply. I live in a very small town and this wouldn't be a concern of mine. If so take a day off and travel to a city nearby or go to a walk in clinic somewhere. It sounds like you need to see a Urologist and your wife her Gynecologist.


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## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

happy as a clam said:


> Btw, herpes doesn't usually "come out" every time you have sex. It lies dormant for awhile, then flares up with painful, weeping lesions. Sounds more like some kind of contact dermatitis to me.
> 
> Go get tested. Be sure to go when the bumps are present.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Sexual intercourse, and the friction involved, can frequently be a trigger that causes a flare up of the herpes virus. The symptoms of a recurrence can differ from person to person. You need to get tested. It is the only way to find out. If it comes out negative, discuss the possibility of a false negative. It happens.


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## intuitionoramiwrong (Mar 18, 2014)

Drive an hour to another hospital... what are you waiting for??

Does your wife go for yearly obgyn appointments? My wife always jokes at how they ask her if she wants an STD test every time, even when she tells them she hasn't been with anyone other than myself. She always gets one. It doesn't cost much more and it tests for HPV, which can cause cancer. 

Don't mess around with your health.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

samdew9 said:


> So I found out that my wife had sex with another guy about 2 years ago. Pur marriage and the healing has had it's ups and downs but has overall been really good. The one nagging thing is that she would not get tested for stds.
> 
> I started getting boil like sores in my pubic area and pimples around the base of my penis. She thought it was just a coincidence because she has never had anything like that.
> 
> ...


 I don't know how you can say it's going pretty good. If she was truly sorry, she would do anything to prove her remorse and yet when you tell her to get tested for a STD, she refused.

Got news for you friend, if that happened to me and I started getting boils, pimples or any other irritation in my pubic area after she cheated, She would be at the doctors office even if I had to hog tie, gag her, throw her in the trunk of the car and drag her ass in and then packed her bags and booted her ass out.

She not only disrespected you and the marriage but spit in your face and then you say all is good? WTH is the matter with you? You just got chumped and accepted it. Wise up.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

6301 said:


> She not only disrespected you and the marriage but spit in your face and then you say all is good? WTH is the matter with you? You just got chumped and accepted it. Wise up.


Gotta agree with this. It seems like you rugswept it all. I mean, c'mon OP... you've got boils and pimples on your man-parts for TWO YEARS, yet she won't go to the doctor because she's "embarrassed" by her atrocious behavior? She SHOULD be mortified!

You're enabling this by not dragging her in to the doctor.


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## cgiles (Dec 10, 2014)

Injury Lawsuits for STD Infection and Disclosure - AllLaw.com


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

ThougHt the name rang a bell.
Short version. His wife was targeted by a player at a major retailer where they worked. She admitted to once. Yes i know.

Sam. You ever warn the other so's about Chris?
Please tell me chris banged the wife of a SOA member and chris is taking a dirt nap.


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

Samdew9,

Do you still believe your WW only had sex with OM once?

Was the OM ever exposed or confronted by you

Tamat


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## dash74 (Jan 3, 2015)

If I was to r with a ws a full std panel would done stat with a follow up test at 6 months before the jimmy hat came off or see yourself to the door with your blue waffles


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

> The one nagging thing is that she would not get tested for stds.


 So, you let your wife control the reconciliation? Now, she can claim YOU cheated if you have an STD.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

Stay off the internets. Stay off WEBMD. All that will just drive you nuts.

Good chance it's nothing. Cheap underwear, allergic to detergent. For me condoms give me "pimples" the next day. Latex doesn't agree with me. Did you start wearing condoms after you discovered your wife's infidelity? 

Go to a clinic, your doctor, a hospital. Get tested. Only then will you have peace of mind. I suggest your doctor. If it's not STD he can tell you what it is and how to rectify it.

Small town, large city, doctors are bound by privacy and the doctors, nurses and staff have seen it all a hundred times over.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

I understand the embarrassment. I don't live in a small town at all but it was hard to go in and ask for STD tests because the question inevitably comes, what makes you want to have testing done.....um my soon to be x wife turns out is a **** and screwed around on me isn't easy to say. But it has got to be done.....this is your health. 


On a side note you should really dump her for a good woman who won't cheat.


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

When my wife was having her affair I would break out with a horrible rash around my privates and it would last a while. When I found out I had my wife get a pregnancy test and a full STD panel from our family doctor whom I knew for years. Part of my demand was to embarrass my wife(she was beyond getting pregnant).

Then the rash started again less then a year later. I did not know she did not end the affair and after getting caught they laid low for about 6 months. The rash started again when she started having sex with the EXOM.

I after the last D-day I went to the VA. My doctor did a complete STD panel on me and I had to go back every 6 months for a while just to make sure.

The doctor told me that getting this type of rash is fairly common. Not an STD, but it was my body reacting to another man's semen (sorry for being gross but my wife would have sex with me after doing the EXOM).

Not sure what you got but the fact that your wife refused the STD test is first stupid, second dangerous, third shows no remorse.


Are you sure she stopped?


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## dash74 (Jan 3, 2015)

Thorburn said:


> The doctor told me that getting this type of rash is fairly common. Not an STD, but it was my body reacting to another man's semen (sorry for being gross but my wife would have sex with me after doing the EXOM).


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!










Sorry man


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

2 things come to mind, yeast infection, and allergy to latex.

I would rule out herpes, if you had herpes you wouldn't be here looking for answers.

Does your wife have a fishy smell, leukorrhea, that is a good sign of STD.

Get educated, it might save your life, especially being married to a skank.

I don't care how long its been, if something "smells fishy," (yes that is where the term came from) you ***ing pull your pants up and get out!


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Drive to another town (a bigger one) and get tested there. Your life may depend on it!


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Dont a lot of clinics allow you to register as "John Smith"?


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## eastsouth2000 (Jul 21, 2015)

don't forget to check your mouth! lol


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Thorburn said:


> The doctor told me that getting this type of rash is fairly common. Not an STD, but it was *my body reacting to another man's semen* (sorry for being gross but my wife would have sex with me after doing the EXOM).
> 
> *Are you sure she stopped?*


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Thorburn said:


> When my wife was having her affair I would break out with a horrible rash around my privates and it would last a while. When I found out I had my wife get a pregnancy test and a full STD panel from our family doctor whom I knew for years. Part of my demand was to embarrass my wife(she was beyond getting pregnant).
> 
> Then the rash started again less then a year later. I did not know she did not end the affair and after getting caught they laid low for about 6 months. The rash started again when she started having sex with the EXOM.
> 
> ...


Ugh.



Thorburn said:


> Not sure what you got but the fact that your wife refused the STD test is first stupid, second dangerous, third shows no remorse.


Yep.



Thorburn said:


> Are you sure she stopped?


Damn good question.


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

Samdew,

You also need to consider that it may have been multiple men and multiple times, but even once can put you at great risk for STDs. The link between HPV and various kinds of CANCER is very solid. These include penile, anal, mouth tongue, throat and etc CANCERS, which can strike 10 or 20 years after contact. 

If the OM was a player and had many partners in essence you have had those partners indirectly as well.

Sorry if this is revolting but it needs to be said, as a virus can pass through a condom. 

Human papillomavirus (HPV) and Oropharyngeal Cancer | Sexually Transmitted Diseases | CDC

You and your W will have to monitor yourselves for years into the future.

Tamat


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## cgiles (Dec 10, 2014)

weightlifter said:


> Dont a lot of clinics allow you to register as "John Smith"?


Or Alan Smithee


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

Most HPV can be cleared, I might be off but #2 and #7 can cause cancer.

The thing about HPV, is every time you fvck (vag, anal, or oral) you are reinfecting each other. So let's say you contracted one or more of the 14 strains, you and your wife would need to abstained for months, I'd say 7 months no sex.

You need to get tested! And specifically ask for a HPV test, cause clinics don't bother testing for HPV or herp, they think its pointless your more likely to get it no matter what, unless your wife isn't a skank, and if she wasn't you wouldn't be here in the first place.

GET TESTED OR LOSE YO D¡CK.

Lots of edits today... Who the f cares if she refuses to get tested, you have what she has, get tested, show her your results, chances are you have HPV, scare the sh¡t outta her.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

About two years ago I took my kids in for vaccine boosters and asked Doc to give them the safer sex talk because most kids listen better to what anyone who is not their parent has to say. Sure, I've had that talk with them many times over the years, but..

Anyways, I was told there is no HPV test for males. Either one has been approved or your wife needs to be tested in order for you to know if you've been exposed and are a carrier. 

Other than that, many people who have STDs are asymptomatic. 

You need to be tested and so does she. Full stop. Period. No way around it. So what if she's embarrassed. Tough cookies. She should have thought about that before she cheated. 

Frankly, if her only real consequence is the embarrassment of an STD test, she's lucky and should thank whatever she believes in profusely.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lilbitoluv (Aug 14, 2015)

samdew9 said:


> So I found out that my wife had sex with another guy about 2 years ago. Pur marriage and the healing has had it's ups and downs but has overall been really good. The one nagging thing is that she would not get tested for stds.
> 
> I started getting boil like sores in my pubic area and pimples around the base of my penis. She thought it was just a coincidence because she has never had anything like that.
> 
> ...


Okay so your wife cheated, came back to you and didn't get tested?? Even worse, you slept with her anyway?? Sir, your wife is crazy and you need a backbone. Im sorry but there is no way in hell, im sleeping with a cheater who refuses to get tested. AIDS HERPES SYPHYLLIS??? And the fact that you get breakouts down there! Thats gross and you should be ashamed. I dont know how old you are but you have got to know better than this! Would you advise your son or daughter to sleep with a cheater that you don't know for sure isn't infected with something??? WTH?? Im sorry but i dont blame your wife. I blame you. You're more concerned abour privacy than your own damn health. WTF?? Your need of privacy could lead you str8 to the morgue.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

lilbitoluv said:


> Okay so your wife cheated, came back to you and didn't get tested?? Even worse, you slept with her anyway?? Sir, your wife is crazy and you need a backbone. Im sorry but there is no way in hell, im sleeping with a cheater who refuses to get tested. AIDS HERPES SYPHYLLIS??? And the fact that you get breakouts down there! *Thats gross and you should be ashamed.* I dont know how old you are but you have got to know better than this! Would you advise your son or daughter to sleep with a cheater that you don't know for sure isn't infected with something??? WTH?? *Im sorry but i dont blame your wife. I blame you. *You're more concerned abour privacy than your own damn health. WTF?? Your need of privacy could lead you str8 to the morgue.


His wife should be ashamed.

No, I blame his wife.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

I have HSV 1 (since I was a tot, cold sores)

There are several complications of HSV (both strains, HSV 2 is genital herpes). One is a type of skin dermatitis (herpactic dermatitis) rash that presents in areas other than mucus membranes.

Then there is something called herpes kerititis. Herpes that presents in the eyes, it can blind you...permanently.

Then the worse of the complications is herpactic meningitis. It's deadly when not treated and can cause herpactic encephalitis (herpes related swelling and fluid build up of the brain).

My point - forget the fear of privacy... Get tested.

What you describe of the first incident sounds like first outbreak. The subsequent problems sound like either friction dermatitis or herpactic dermatitis. Herpes virus in some people can cause frequent outbreaks or back to back outbreaks. Some people never have an outbreak but become asymptomatic carriers that can infect others without symptoms.

Demand she get tested and get tested yourself. Get tested for both strains too. She has no right to refuse testing, especially if it is herpes virus. Kiss one of the kids even with no outbreak and there is a risk of passing it to them. Touch and outbreak and don't wash your hands well, cross contamination or touch another person, you risk infecting them...

Not something you want to risk or not know you have.


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

I sometimes get a heat rash near my crotch. Especially this time of year.


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## serenesoul (Jan 19, 2013)

OP, I really hope that you are alright. Unfortunately for me, I wasn't so lucky...and that was just the beginning of the pain of my marriage. Whatever happens, don't feel like you have to stay. When they show little remorse, they will run your self-esteem further and further into the ground. Finally, I am ready to leave. It took me realizing that I am worth it despite what he did to me. 

Take care...and value yourself no matter what she does.


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