# How us women think, at least me and I think quite a few more...



## COtwo (Apr 15, 2009)

Hi, I moved into my sisters 4 days ago. Been married almost 20 yrs. Heres a little bit about my feelings, as well as I believe most womens feelings:

Love is a 2 way street, and I could do more for him, but you have to feel like the other person deserves it. If one person treats the other like they are non existant (even if its just sometimes) it makes it so much harder to try. Everytime one person does even a small tiny little wrong, it makes it so much easier to leave.

Women are a funny little creature, we do take every tiny negative thing and put it in a spot in our heart and mind and let it just sit there piling up. It does take years but, eventually there is no more room left to place those things that are building up, the heart is only so big. So we do the only thing we know how...we stop trying, or (and) we leave. Its only human that once you feel hurt, lonely or confused you run. It's called the fight or flee response. You feel like you can only fight so long. Just like a boxing match, a boxer that trains his whole life to fight can only go so many rounds.

I can not speak for the man's point of view cause I do not know it, but us women do think that as long as you have sex you are happy. I truely believe a man would be extremely happy if he got it every day BUT it's not the kind of happy that a women needs, its almost a greedy kind of happy.

It really takes 10 goods to make up for one bad in a womens mind and heart. Thats a whole lot of trying. We are very needy indeed, and if we do not get these needs met we don't want to give you that thing that keeps you happy. So it comes down to being a huge finger pointing session when in all honesty it is everyone's fault.

**just wanna be happy***


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

COtwo said:


> HiI can not speak for the man's point of view cause I do not know it, but us women do think that as long as you have sex you are happy. I truely believe a man would be extremely happy if he got it every day BUT it's not the kind of happy that a women needs, its almost a greedy kind of happy.


I will qualify that just a bit by saying if we are getting sex on a regular basis then we assume our wife is happy also. We can be dense that way.


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## racemom (Jan 26, 2009)

OMG, I am soooo with you. Going thru the same thing myself, only I haven't got the guts to leave yet. Guess I still have hope, after 15 years that he might change. God knows I have been telling him what I need a lot lately. I do know that he probably will never change, just overwhelmed by what leaving entails.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

Amplexor said:


> I will qualify that just a bit by saying if we are getting sex on a regular basis then we assume our wife is happy also. We can be dense that way.


But that's the point. If a wife is providing sex and clearly enjoying it, she probably *is* happy. Unless the woman has a very high libido, sex is the first thing to suffer when she feels resentful. That's why it's important for men to pay attention to the woman's sexual response - it a huge barometer of how she feels about the relationship in general.


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## COtwo (Apr 15, 2009)

How silly and funny.

Notice how the 2 men that posted really only clarified the sex part of this. Which takes me to my point lol.

Not mad at you guys, just kinda funny how that happens.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

COtwo said:


> How silly and funny.
> 
> Notice how the 2 men that posted really only clarified the sex part of this. Which takes me to my point lol.
> 
> Not mad at you guys, just kinda funny how that happens.


Again my point, 


Amplexor said:


> We can be dense that way.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

COtwo said:


> How silly and funny.
> 
> Notice how the 2 men that posted really only clarified the sex part of this. Which takes me to my point lol.


Fair enough 
But are we correct in your opinion? Is sex the barometer of just about anything else?


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## COtwo (Apr 15, 2009)

MarkTwain said:


> Fair enough
> But are we correct in your opinion? Is sex the barometer of just about anything else?



Ok, 

So yes, if the woman has a high libido then it's irrelevant. 

BUT if she does not, then sex does suffer. Some women have it in there mind that it's part of being married, and thats part of her job. They satisfy there man although they don't need the sex, but maybe 5% of the time. I don't consider it a bad thing, but yes a mans satisfaction in a marriage comes though sex. I think men do see sex as the barometer of a womans happiness, when a women would rather be out spending money, shopping.

Compare the sex to shopping, if a woman got a free credit card to spend an unlimited ammount of money, we would take that and LOVE that day. A man would not enjoy it at all if he was offered the same. He would rather have a full day of unlimited continuos sex, like the best sex ever. Our shopping day would be the best day ever.

A woman cheats on her Bfriend or spouse for the emotional part of the relationship, a man does it for the sex. Not in all situation's but, most.


Make sense?


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

COtwo said:


> Make sense?


It not only makes sense, but there is a further point:


COtwo said:


> Some women have it in there mind that it's part of being married, and thats part of her job. They satisfy there man although they don't need the sex, but maybe 5% of the time.


A man who accepts "mercy sex" of the type hinted at above runs the risk of making his wife more and more resentful. what he should do, is investigate the root cause of her resentment the moment he notices she is only "giving in" to his desire for sex, rather than actively wanting it.

Most women like sex. But they go off it with their husbands pretty easily if resentment is in the air. Men are different. Resentment does not do them any good, but sex only suffers a bit, they won't generally "cut off their nose to spite their face", whereas women seem to be able to do without sex when they get resentful enough - so nobody gets any!

I am generalising of course, but if we could "lift the lid" and see which women generally have low libido that has absolutly nothing to do with how they feel about their husband's past and present behaviour, I think we would find it is a small percentage of the total wives who don't want sex.

And to go back to your other point about Amp and I focusing narrowly on the sex... I can't speak for Amp, but I believe that amazingly... sex is underrated in this regard. It is sex that causes the survival of the species. It is sex that attracts animals to mate. We as humans like to think we are all so sophisticated that we have transcended hormones and sexuality. We have not. What we have done is installed a set of morals to live by that include things like monogamy. It seems like a good idea, but it does require us to sort out our frictions if we want it to be enjoyable.

It would be much easier to changes partners every few months/years but so much depth would be lost, and children would suffer.


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## MsLady (Dec 1, 2008)

> I think men do see sex as the barometer of a womans happiness, when a women would rather be out spending money, shopping.
> 
> Compare the sex to shopping, if a woman got a free credit card to spend an unlimited ammount of money, we would take that and LOVE that day.


Okay, woman here. I gotta disagree with you, girl. I HATE shopping and could care less about money and shopping. I'd rather a poor man that blows me away in bed, than a rich one that keeps me hard up. To some of us women, sex totally does matter. And a full day of mind-blowing sex is unbeatable. I wish.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

MsLady said:


> Okay, woman here. I gotta disagree with you, girl. I HATE shopping and could care less about money and shopping. I'd rather a poor man that blows me away in bed, than a rich one that keeps me hard up. To some of us women, sex totally does matter. And a full day of mind-blowing sex is unbeatable. I wish.


You could easily have your hubby trained up to do that as I have said before, but you need to use the right methods.


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## racemom (Jan 26, 2009)

MarkTwain said:


> A man who accepts "mercy sex" of the type hinted at above runs the risk of making his wife more and more resentful. what he should do, is investigate the root cause of her resentment the moment he notices she is only "giving in" to his desire for sex, rather than actively wanting it.


What if the man has no clue he is accepting "mercy sex?" My man has no clue that I would rather be doing anything else. As long as he is getting sex he thinks everything between us is hunky-dory. I am the one who doesn't understand how a couple can be ready to split up, two days later have sex and he thinks everything is OK. Who is the ignorant one? :scratchhead:


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## racemom (Jan 26, 2009)

MsLady said:


> Okay, woman here. I gotta disagree with you, girl. I HATE shopping and could care less about money and shopping.


I think COtwo is just using shopping as an example. Surely there is something else you enjoy as much as or more than sex. If not, kudos to you. I believe her thinking is much like mine: why can a man just not understand that we need little things to keep us happy, that our world does not revolve around sex.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

racemom said:


> What if the man has no clue he is accepting "mercy sex?" My man has no clue that I would rather be doing anything else.


Well, that shows a certain lack of awareness on his part. Have you given him a list of the top 3 things he could do to make you a lot happier?


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

racemom said:


> why can a man just not understand that we need little things to keep us happy, that our world does not revolve around sex.





Amplexor said:


> We can be dense that way!


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## racemom (Jan 26, 2009)

MarkTwain said:


> Well, that shows a certain lack of awareness on his part. Have you given him a list of the top 3 things he could do to make you a lot happier?


I have given him ideas on countless occasions, of course, trying not to give too many at once so as not to overwhelm him. The only response I get it "I can't do that. I'm not the romantic type." Tell me, what is so romantic about making your wife an unexpected glass of chocolate milk? Or filling my vehicle gas? Or helping out around the house? To me, these are "little things", which I crave so badly and am unable to receive.


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