# Beta vs Alpha in my marriage



## Adex (Aug 1, 2012)

I talk a lot about being more alpha and there's a reason for that. I'll give you the contrast between me as more beta and me as more alpha in my marriage....

In the beginning of my marriage when I was too beta: 

-I'm a neat freak, and my wife is lazy. Therefore, I did most of the cleaning in the house. 
-We used to have sex often before our child, but after our child, our sex pretty much died for a year or so. She said she didn't want to have sex really anymore.
-She would go out and party at night with her friends often times without me. 
-She would always raise her voice and argue with me about things, almost to the point of disrespecting me.
-She would get mad when I watched porn. She'd try to control me.

Serious stuff happened in my marriage, and then I manned up a bit. Now, with me being more alpha:

-We both clean together once a week. She takes care of our toddler mainly, while I sit and watch TV. She's been cooking more as well.
-We have sex 3 times a week. She knows if we don't have sex, then that is unacceptable in our marriage.
-She never disrespects me by going out late at night with her friends without me. We go together, unless I give her permission to go out with her friends.
-She doesn't disrespect me or raise her voice with me as much anymore. I tell her to lower her voice when she does and make her realize she shouldn't talk to me like that.
-I watch porn sometimes and she doesn't give me crap about it anymore.
-I've told her I'll make the big decisions in our marriage financially and otherwise. She agrees.

She's been a good girl these days. I love how my marriage is going now. I know some may not like all the things I said, but this is why I believe in being more alpha.


----------



## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

In 6 months or a year let us know how the alpha thing is going with your slave, er, I mean your wife.


----------



## azteca1986 (Mar 17, 2013)

Adex said:


> -She never disrespects me by going out late at night with her friends without me. We go together, unless *I give her permission* to go out with her friends.
> 
> She's been *a good girl* these days. I love how my marriage is going now. I know some may not like all the things I said, but this is why I believe in being more alpha.


She sounds very docile. Not a quality I'd want in my wife, but if it works for you, well done.

Hope it works out for you both.


----------



## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

I'd warn you to sleep with one eye open but I think you deserve what you've got coming 

She has a backup plan. Make no mistake about that. You will be the a$$hole ex. I'm certain of it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

LOL... Alpha...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## nodirection (Jul 30, 2012)

Did your wife type this for you while you watched TV?


----------



## tobio (Nov 30, 2010)

So I take it you do engage with your child at some point? The way you put it, it sounds like she looks after your child whilst you watch TV and that's it.

It's funny isn't it, my husband wants to spend as much time with the children as he can. Obviously all men are different.


----------



## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

Why are you sitting around not be an active parent? That's not alpha that's lazy.
Children need both parents to be active. Why are you robbing your child of your times and attention?


----------



## jerry123 (Apr 9, 2012)

Why do you watch porn if you guys have sex 3x a week??

Also, you sure she was going out with friends and partying all night with just them??
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## gardengirl (Apr 18, 2013)

Adex said:


> She's been a good girl these days. I love how my marriage is going now..


why dont you bring the little lady on here, big man, and just see how your life goes when she reads crap like this!

good girl? how horribly condecending. if you are an example of the state of manhood today, Ill stay single, thanks.


----------



## Adex (Aug 1, 2012)

I watch TV and hang out with my kid. She just does most of the feeding and changing of diapers. So yes I'm a good father.

My wife is happy in how our marriage is now. We argue less and know how things are. When I call her a good girl it turns me on, not sure why. However, I don't see how it's different from calling your wife baby, honey, or darling.

I watch porn because I like variety just to get off. I'm not addicted. I don't need a woman trying to control me by not letting me do what I want to do.

I do what I want when I want within my marriage. I just don't cheat because I respect my marriage commitment. I also don't abuse her or put her down. It's great to have this new found power, but I know with great power comes great responsibility. I just needed to man up before.


----------



## Topical storm (Mar 30, 2013)

Adex said:


> She's been a good girl these days. I love how my marriage is going now. I know some may not like all the things I said, but this is why I believe in being more alpha.


LMAO. I know it's funny to antagonize people. But you worded it like her name is Fido. I agree with your premise that a man needs to be alpha in his relationship. Thank God, you picked a good woman that recognized your internal strength. Women respond to this type of behavior and it's no accident why your marriage is in a better position. God bless.


----------



## Adex (Aug 1, 2012)

Topical storm said:


> LMAO. I know it's funny to antagonize people. But you worded it like her name is Fido. I agree with your premise that a man needs to be alpha in his relationship. Thank God, you picked a good woman that recognized your internal strength. Women respond to this type of behavior and it's no accident why your marriage is in a better position. God bless.


Wow thanks for that compliment. I know some people view it as a good thing but don't comment about it, and so many people on this board do not. 

My posts are geared more to men to help them out. It's to those husbands whose marriages may be pretty bad and they don't know why. If they just acted more alpha, it might improve things as it did for me.

The only thing is, this slaps feminism right in the face. I understand that, and so it's easy to see why women on this board respond so negatively to my posts.


----------



## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

Hey. Adex I ain't mad at ya. My H is definitely a take charge man and that's the way I like it. 

Have you had your alpha self challenged outside the marriage yet? I know you know that you don't quite come off as authentic. I mean if you were all THAT alpha you wouldn't have to proclaim it two times a week.


----------



## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

Geez. You guys are all over the dude. Let him breathe.

He's alright. The entertainment value from his threads are absolutely great and I don't want them to end.

If I can be serious for a minute. Adex, continue on your journey to find more Alpha. It's a worthy pursuit. My only advice is that...um...you're getting bad advice.

Pretty much everything after "Serious stuff happened in my marriage, and then I manned up a bit. Now, with me being more alpha:" would have most adult mature women running away from you.

And I'm not a hater. Some of the stuff you post can be great. The stuff about being confident, not being afraid to make decisions, being decisive, good posture, thinking about what you say before speaking all of that is awesome stuff. But some of the other stuff is filler material. Almost like the author ran out of helpful ideas and just put in a bunch of stupidness. No disrespect intended.


----------



## Adex (Aug 1, 2012)

sinnister said:


> Pretty much everything after "Serious stuff happened in my marriage, and then I manned up a bit. Now, with me being more alpha:" would have most adult mature women running away from you.


That's where you're wrong though. You think that way because that's how our post feministic society has taught you to believe. You probably think that a woman wants to be put on a pedestal and have all her needs met by a man. WRONG. She may think she wants that, but her man servant won't turn her on and she'll leave him eventually if she doesn't cheat first.

Imagine my wife's position. I don't tell her all this stuff. To her my behavior changed and she likes it. Of course she does because most women want a strong leader as a partner. The only thing I could see her thinking was kind of weird, was calling her a good girl. It's funny to me though.

Good girls deserve rewards like my penis inside her. Lol ok I was joking...


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

"You think that way because that's how our post feministic society has taught you to believe."

Translation: "Blame women for all of men's problems and mistakes, AND blame them for YOUR OWN thoughts as well. It is all women's fault."


----------



## azteca1986 (Mar 17, 2013)

Adex said:


> That's where you're wrong though. You think that way because that's how our post feministic society has taught you to believe.


Are you still scared of women? Or have you got over it now?


----------



## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Adex said:


> Imagine my wife's position.* I don't tell her all this stuff. *To her my behavior changed and she likes it. Of course she does because most women want a strong leader as a partner. The only thing I could see her thinking was kind of weird, was calling her a good girl. It's funny to me though.



Oh. You don't tell her all this stuff?!

That sounds pretty...ummm....Alpha?!


Nooo. That's not it. What's the word I'm looking for? It's on the tip of my tongue....


----------



## Broken at 20 (Sep 25, 2012)

Oh look, he got banned. 

Again...


----------



## MeditMike80 (Dec 29, 2012)

Adex said:


> I don't need a woman trying to control me by not letting me do what I want to do.


This is a laughable statement you made here as you are obviously very controlling of your wife and very insecure in your marriage. Do you let your wife do what she wants as well? How would you feel if she watches pornography?

ETA: I see you got banned again, not really a big surprise seeing as you're incredibly antagonistic (not an alpha trait).


----------



## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

Adex said:


> That's where you're wrong though. You think that way because that's how our post feministic society has taught you to believe. You probably think that a woman wants to be put on a pedestal and have all her needs met by a man. WRONG. She may think she wants that, but her man servant won't turn her on and she'll leave him eventually if she doesn't cheat first.
> 
> Imagine my wife's position. I don't tell her all this stuff. To her my behavior changed and she likes it. Of course she does because most women want a strong leader as a partner. The only thing I could see her thinking was kind of weird, was calling her a good girl. It's funny to me though.
> 
> Good girls deserve rewards like my penis inside her. Lol ok I was joking...


Adex...I know you're banned but you'll read this when you get back. If you knew anything about me, you'd probably be following me around with a pen and pan trying to take notes, preparing for your next TAM Alpha post. Yup...in your eyes I probably would be THAT Alpha. That's the thing about the internet, it's hard to get a sense of what people are really like. So I might as well tell you...I'm probably more like the guy you wish you were.

Now I'm not saying this to be mean or take a shot at you. Just saying I fit the "prototypical" Alpha probably better than most. Now what has that gotten me? A wife who would sooner wash the dishes than to acutually spend intimate time with me. 

I'm correcting this though. Alot of it has to do with my very "beta" weight gain. But I've started shedding the pounds like a mf'er and I'm getting back to how I was. The problem is...how do you plan on dealing with a woman who is just as "strong" as you are mentally and emotionally? See, I married one of those and wouldn't have it any other way.

I abdicated to FaithfulWife on the last thread because I made a statement that turned out to be wrong in retrospect. See, admitting you made a mistake is NOT beta. In fact, there is nothing I hate more than a person who refuses to admit when they've made an error. I did and stood up like a man and admitted it. Regardless of whether or not a woman or man points out that I'm wrong, I have the strength of character to own that.

I suggest that you continue to seek out how to be more Alpha. I really do believe it is a worthy pursuit. But I think you have some of your beliefs mixed up that will just end up hurting you and your wife in the long run. I hope I'm wrong...but I doubt it.


----------



## Topical storm (Mar 30, 2013)

sinnister said:


> Adex...I know you're banned but you'll read this when you get back. If you knew anything about me, you'd probably be following me around with a pen and pan trying to take notes, preparing for your next TAM Alpha post. Yup...in your eyes I probably would be THAT Alpha. That's the thing about the internet, it's hard to get a sense of what people are really like. So I might as well tell you...I'm probably more like the guy you wish you were.
> 
> Now I'm not saying this to be mean or take a shot at you. Just saying I fit the "prototypical" Alpha probably better than most. Now what has that gotten me? A wife who would sooner wash the dishes than to acutually spend intimate time with me.
> 
> ...


I think your retractment caused a visceral reaction in Adex. I personally don't understand why you retracted your statement either. I don't think he was putting blame on women but just that there is an epidemic going on amongst men that are conditioned to put women on a pedestal. Adex, turning a corner from beta to alpha, gave an emotional response to your retraction because it came across as the person that he once was that would bow down to a woman when challenged.


----------



## azteca1986 (Mar 17, 2013)

Topical storm said:


> I think your retractment caused a visceral reaction in Adex. I personally don't understand why you retracted your statement either. I don't think he was putting blame on women but just that there is an epidemic going on amongst men that are conditioned to put women on a pedestal. Adex, turning a corner from beta to alpha, gave an emotional response to your retraction because it came across as the person that he once was that would *bow down to a woman when challenged.*


How rude. I thought he 'bowed down' to a decent argument. The gender of poster was irrelevant. The argument was sound.

It's a shame you seem so threatened by women. You're missing out.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Tropical Storm...when Adex gets back, perhaps you two could create your own "He Man Woman Haters" message board so you can shut out females altogether.

Otherwise....why would you even post here since it is obvious that the femi-nazis are soooo out to get you?


----------

