# My Now “Prude” Wife



## Nederlandsk (Jun 6, 2016)

My Now “Prude” Wife

This is going to be long, so thanks for your patience.

We have been married for 30 years now and it is her third marriage, and my second. We get along unbelievably well, and have never had a fight, some angry words, but never a fight. We retired early, and have been retired for three years, and now live in a remote, residential community at 9500’ in the Colorado Rockies. We are one of the few who live here year round, so for about six months. it’s just the two of us and that may be part of our problem with our sex life, we’re more like brother and sister.

When I grew up as a young child, both my parents worked, so my older sister pretty much raised me. I don’t like to use the word, “****ty” to describe her, but for lack of a better word, she was extremely independent and did what she wanted. This upbringing made me attracted to girls, and later women who were, ‘independent” like my sister. My first wife was physically, and mentally abusive, and our sex life was pretty much nonexistent as she looked at sex as a necessary evil, and that marriage ended after several years.

I met my now wife at a midwest factory of 2000 employees, I worked in the factory, she in the office. She worked in data processing and came through the factory at the end of the shift to pick up inventory statements for the days’ production. She dressed in clothes that were appropriate, yet seductive and she walked, and carried herself assertively, was tall, and slender, and I was infatuated with her the first time I noticed her, even though she had a reputation for sleeping around with many of the men, factory, and office alike. For some strange reason, this made her more appealing to me. After a six month courtship, we were married. Our sex life was unbelievable, she knew more sexual positions than I knew imaginable.

Fast forward several years. My work took us to the Phoenix area, and now that we were empty nester's, we began to enjoy the sunny climate of the valley life and became nudists. My wife was extremely self conscious of her small breasts and she wanted to get breast augmentation. I was OK with her small breasts, but hey I’m a guy, if she wanted bigger breasts, I’m onboard. Shortly after her recovery, we took a trip to Florida, and one of our destinations was Haulover Nude Beach. After setting down on our towels, and enjoying the sun for awhile, I asked a black guy who was sunning near us if he would take our picture. He did, and we chatted for awhile, and I noticed he was attracted to my tall, slender wife who was now sporting 36D’s. He was svelte, and well endowed gave us his “calling card” and wanted to know if we wanted to attend one of his “parties” Being naive, we didn’t know he was extending and invitation to swinger party. 

After returning home I did an online search for “parties” and swinger parties was in some of the results. I mentioned that to the wife and we had a laugh about being so naive at Haulover, but the seed was planted. We joined an online swinging site and created a profile. Soon we were exploring the swinging lifestyle, but I soon found out my wife was extremely jealous of seeing me with other women. We went to a small house party and we all got naked and were in the hot tub. When we got out and dried off, my wife had the attention of two guys and that were fondling and kissing each other, I found this strangely erotic, and was enjoying it as much as she was. I went off to a bedroom with the hostess, and left the three of them alone, even though I wanted to be their to watch.

My wife’s jealousy of other women narrowed down our field of play to MFM’s with other guys. We would, “shop” online for another guy to join us. After a lengthly online/phone call vetting process, we would meet at a safe location over drinks, then if we both approved, would invite him to join us at our home. She would sit between us two guys and we would kiss and undress her, move to our guest bedroom and I would sit back and enjoy the show. Afterwards, her and I would have off the charts sex. Once we retired and moved back to Colorado, we hosted a few guys, and the last one she became emotionally attached and she suggested we break it off and we did. We haven’t dabbled in the lifestyle since.

Back into her past. She would give me bits and pieces of her past sex life. It sounds like she was sexually abused by her father as a teenager, and another close male relative who she wouldn’t name. Her mother enrolled her in a business school, then moved her to a big city far away from the farm. My wife also told me that she thinks her dad sexually abused her sister, but she wouldn’t admit that he abused her. When my wife was moved to the city, her mom placed her in the YWCA there and she met a guy ten years her senior and she would sneak him into the Y and would have sex there. If she would have been caught, she would have been thrown out. She soon married this guy after he divorced his wife. She would give me bits and pieces of her 

She is always accommodating for sex, married life, but it sounds like it was one big party. One time she was at home while her then husband was off someplace and she decided to scrub the floor wearing nothing but a t-shirt while two of her husbands buddies sat there drinking beer watching her. She claims nothing happened, but picture two virile young guys drinking as she displayed herself to them on all fours. You tell me. That marriage ended as her then husband found someone who he was attracted to, and was gone a lot leaving her to tend to his two kids from a previous marriage.

Her second husband wasn’t much better as he had his sights set on his sister in law, and set his wife, (my wife) up with his brother. From the bits, and pieces of stories my wife would feed me, it sounds like she somewhat enjoyed the loose lifestyle. She would flash truckers when they would travel, she even picked out a random stranger in a bar and had sex with him in the booth he was sitting at. That marriage ended when her then husband wanted his new girl friend to move in with them.

After we were married, my wife told me later on that she and other office girls would go without panties and would wear short skirts hoping to flash the men. I find all of her sexual past arousing, but the more I pry, the more she shuts down either by changing the story, or refusing to talk about it. Our sex life now is bland, even though she is always willing to have sex. I wish for her “****ty” side that she experienced with her first two husbands and It makes me feel like I’m not worthy enough for her to open up. Perhaps she thinks I will “dump” her like her past husbands, although It will never happen as I adore her. Sometimes I feel like she’s “punishing” me for all the guys that have abused, or taken advantage of her in the past.

Any help rekindling her “****ty” side?


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

Ah, summer vacation has started.


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

Surely there are better message boards for this type of... problem?

Even if some of these posts are real, the actual problem is rather laughable, IMO. "My husband/wife and I have sex with people outside our marriage - why is he/she no longer interested in sex with ME?"

Or even better - "We just jumped into this lifestyle, and I have no idea why it's not working out for us! It seemed like such a good idea!" 

Kudos to the 2% of people who can make this work. The other 98%, is any one really surprised?


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Starstarfish said:


> Ah, summer vacation has started.


Sadly tis Winter down here but what better time to sit in front of the fire, reading this stuff. Must get me some popcorn.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Nederlandsk said:


> Any help rekindling her “****ty” side?


Alcohol helps...


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

*Any help rekindling her “****ty” side?*

Anyone know the name of Viagra but for females?

That hopefully might help. Are you taking any yourself?


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Any rekindling???

Sounds like you just need to have more male pool men or gardeners and a chair for the corner for yourself. That's what you seem to like.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## introvert (May 30, 2016)

LOL! There are plenty of fiction fan sites for this sort of "post". Anyone who's stumbled upon one of those places can see this is fake from a mile away.


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## wantshelp (Mar 10, 2016)

Bibi1031 said:


> *Any help rekindling her “****ty” side?*
> Anyone know the name of Viagra but for females?


Not a bad idea. It's called Addyi. But no alcohol on Addyi, so bear that in mind.


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

introvert said:


> LOL! There are plenty of fiction fan sites for this sort of "post". Anyone who's stumbled upon one of those places can see this is fake from a mile away.


Not necessarily. This could be very real. There ARE swingers on this site, and yes, people who are in this lifestyle certainly have marital problems, too.

My point, as always in these types of threads, is that it's the wrong place for them. OP is MUCH better off seeking advice in a forum that deals with that lifestyle. All he's going to get here is "what did you expect?" as well as a lot of backlash for engaging in the lifestyle in the first place.

You see, OP, 90-whatever % of people in real life do not engage in swinging and partner-swapping. For those of us who don't - the vast, VAST majority - we can't proffer solid advice for this sort of thing. It's a whole 'nuther animal, altogether.

So I'll tell you what everybody else here, and in a "normal" marriage would tell you - What on earth did you expect?


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Ok, I gotta know. 

Where did the naked black guy keep his card?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Fozzy said:


> Ok, I gotta know.
> 
> Where did the naked black guy keep his card?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Now I know why that store that sells "hats with pockets" seems to have such a pervy clientele and a sign that says "no shirts, no shoes, no problem!"


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

That's totally better than what I was imagining. My vision involved a "ka-ching" sound effect.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Nederlandsk said:


> My Now “Prude” Wife
> 
> This is going to be long, so thanks for your patience......
> 
> Any help rekindling her “****ty” side?


I actually do read many forums relating to swinging as I enjoy the read. My feedback for you here my friend is that you wife used to be ****ty because she was desperate for attention. 

Odds are you are enough to make her happy and she no longer needs this extra attention to validate herself but yet she still feel inferior to girls with bigger boobs.

If you push her back into seeking attention from other men, odds are you will find out what it is like for her to actually punish you!

Good luck, 
Badsanta


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

Holland said:


> Sadly tis Winter down here but what better time to sit in front of the fire, reading this stuff. Must get me some popcorn.


A fire? Isnt it in the 60s F still there? Sounds like what my California Aunt and Uncle consider cold. :grin2:


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Your wife has a distorted view of sexuality given her sex abuse history. Her behavior as a young adult with the older guy at the Y and her first two marriages is what is called "acting out". The other option is "acting inward" as a reaction to trauma. Acting inward includes things like cutting, drug abuse, and silently berating herself. Acting out is generally promiscuous behavior but could involve other things. Additionally, sexual abuse victims tend to either be promiscuous or tend to be prudish.

My guess is your wife has come to a very different view of sexuality over the years and now is much healthier. She is no longer interested in promiscuity or acting out sexually. She may connect certain sexual activities with her abuse and thus now has no interest in those.

She may or may not need therapy for her trauma, but that is a separate issue from her sexual behavior currently.

I think you would benefit from some IC as well as both of you attending some MC. The swinging in your marriage as well as her prior history is a complex situation which needs professional guidance to navigate.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

You two have been married 30 years.

Her previous marriages were both for "several" years.

I'm going to guess you're both in your 60's.

I'm afraid the "****ty" boat sailed a while ago.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

I do not like this sort of post.

However, I can offer some advice.

You live at the upper range of the "healthy altitude" {The Rockies}: you at 95K. Higher than 10K is unhealthy for long term respiration, exertion and fornification.

In the military I spent many a day, even weeks at that altitude chasing OPFORCES, and bad guys.

The thin air and lack of oxygen saps your energy and dulls the mind. Long term effects? Cannot be good. Your lung capacity may slowly increase. Slow deep breathing can only compensate so much. 

Problem: you likely do not stay at this altitude for extra long periods. You go up and down for sundry reasons. This action prevents some of the lung capacity increase.

The Incas who habituated Machu Pikchu lived successfully on that mountaintop for centuries. That altitude was at 7970 ft., considerably less than where you live. They eventually died off. Possibly, small pox killed them. I suspect the logistics needed to maintain the place were extremely prohibitive. 


Move your honey to low-places and keep her there for a couple of months. Check her body temperature, using whatever type of thermometer that floats your horny goat boat.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Middle of Everything said:


> A fire? Isnt it in the 60s F still there? Sounds like what my California Aunt and Uncle consider cold. :grin2:


Currently 10deg here so about 50F

Tell me Sir at what temperature would you light a fire? Anything below 20C feels cold to me.

Thank The Universe for heated car seats.


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

Holland said:


> Currently 10deg here so about 50F
> 
> Tell me Sir at what temperature would you light a fire? Anything below 20C feels cold to me.
> 
> Thank The Universe for heated car seats.


20C? Thats 68F. Holy ****. Thats nice and warm. Shorts and t shirt.

But like I said my California relatives would be more in line with you. We are all a product of our environment I guess. Im sure some of our Canadian friends would laugh at me for what I consider cold.

Though I will say the United States great plains can have some of the biggest swings of weather. Plenty of ice and snow in the winter. And plenty of 90+F HUMID days in the summer. Thank god for the fall.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Keep going! I'm almost there.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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