# Lapdancing experience from a couples perspective



## Cherryfest

Ok, I have always felt threatened by my husband going to a lapdancing club. From my previouis posts you will also see that my husband and Ii have had a BIG issue with him hording pictures from adult sites and watching girls on webcam on sex sites. One of the reasons he gave was that he had never been to a strip show/lapdancing club etc and although it was a lame excuse it rankled with me that his 'never having done it' was being held up as a reason. After all there are plenty of things people haven't done that they don't chase in real life.
Anyway, one way I realised I could regain some sanity was to say 'ok, so lets go and you can see what a lapdance is all about (the only way most people, especially women see these places is on TV/movies etc where it's all sensual, glamerous and has an erotic mystique about it. I first went 2 weeks ago with my adult daughters to have a dance on my own and this is the one I will be writing about (I needed to see what it was like on my own first to make sure I wouldn't make myself feel worse if I felt threatened). SO, with this post in mind we went together to a city centre club last night to each have a dance and post our own perspectives on here. I will leave the main description of the club to my husband and I'll just tell you about the dance. So here goes with MY view first:

We arrived at the club at about half an hour after opening time and there were dancers already there. I was dead nervous but knew that to have the full experience I would have to approach a girl myself. I saw one I 'liked' and went over to her as she was trying to talk a group of guys into having a dance. She seemed a little confused when I asked her for the dance but as soon as she saw my dance token (£10 for 3 minutes) she turned her back on the guys without so much as a second thought. She led me into a back room which was fully open with less privacy than the changing room at Primark! I sat on the seat and she proceeded to dance. Now although there was a 'no touching' rule on the cards on each table SHE didn't seem to care about that. She rubbed each breast on my face and gyrated her bum on my knee. The rest of the dance was the same as my husbands. Her on the floor 'dry-humping and more stroking of her body. She didn't go further than topless but did lean in and pulled the top of her thong to one side for a quick glimpse of her privates (but I MEAN quick and I couldn't really see anything. The whole thing was fast and as she was often so close I couldn't actually focus on her at all neither face or body. At the end she gave me a quick kiss on the lips and said 'Thanks ' and pointed me back out to the bar. The thing is that an hour later I couldn't even remember her face.
Personally, even though I can appreciate an attractive girl, and she was attractive to me, the whole thing was fast, non-sexy and slightly lame. I didn't get the impression that it was anything other than a job to her and she never even so much as glanced my way once the dance was over. My impression was that probably slightly drunk guys may get turned on by a dance (if they have time!) but that sober it may be simply less threatening than women actually fear. Also, I needed to see if the dance was different for me because I was a woman.

The next bit is totally unedited written by my husband and his thoughts on his first lapdance: see below.

I was a bit sceptical about going to the lap dancing club last night due to the problems we have been going through over the last few months, but I was confident that the issues I had dealt with would not crop up again.

My wife was nervous too – she had 2 cigs in 15 minutes, which is a good indication of that!

We aimed to arrive at the club around 10pm which was opening time – so after another quick cig, we went inside.

At the bar was one of the ladies – an Amazonian-like woman, a couple of door men and the bar tender, so we got a drink each – I had a double JD and coke, and my wife had a double Malibu and coke… which was a staggering £14. I was ready to leave at this point!! 

Anyway, we sat down and waited for more ladies to turn up. 3 more strolled in within about 30mins.

Amazon Woman, Philippine woman, curley haired woman (who sat at the bar not looking at anyone) and blonde wig woman.

There were probably about 3 people in the club, including us. One of the ladies (Philippine woman) went up on the pole and did a dance. It was so non-erotic. She looked uncomfortable, no grace. Nothing like what was portrayed on TV.

I felt extremely cheap sitting there and said to my wife that if there were no ‘nice’ ladies by 11pm, then we are heading home as the whole point of this was to get a dance from someone I liked to experience it properly. A few moments later, the blonde wigged lady came over and sat next to my wife and talked to us. Her name was ‘Nicole’ (obviously a pseudo name).

She proceeded to tell us that her boyfriend doesn’t mind her dancing and that she was 31 years old with two kids – one of which was disabled with Autism. Major error as they aren’t meant to give out details that would put punters off!

She was Spanish but working over here so she could get medical treatment for her son. It felt genuine what she was telling us and not a line to make us buy a dance from her. She told us how she gets abuse from most guys who come in and that she hates British men as they are so rude! She hates Britain in general!

My wife and I finished our drinks and went outside for a cig; hoping to talk, but Nicole came out a few moments later. Before she came out, we both talked and I explained how I felt dirty being there. It was VERY seedy even though the place was clean and kinda ‘inviting’. These weren’t glamorous women – they were normal people with problems in everyday life. They are mothers, daughters, wives etc They don’t enjoy what they are doing, but feel it is the only path to go down.

We both felt really bad for Nicole, especially when she said on Sunday nights, they only have 4 ladies in (I am calling them ladies because they are people, not ‘lap dancers’) and they don’t get many customers. We felt like we needed to help her and her son, and right or wrong we agreed we’d go back in and have a dance each off of her. Thinking back, what we did was prove that we were just using her for a dance - but at the time, it felt like we were helping her make some money for her kids!

So off to the bar we went to get the tokens and buy a glass of Cola each. I had the first dance and I was taken to a private area which was very much like department store changing rooms. I was sat down opposite another guy who was having a dance from Amazon-woman.

I sat down on the seat with my drink - was told to put it behind me on a ledge. She then indicated for me to put my hands on her waist - which isnt what she meant - she meant put them by my waist, so that was a faux pas! She then started the dance. She started off with a laced up side negligee and she was moving her body about, bending over and running her hands up and down her body. She would then put her legs up on the seat and move her hips close to my face (not that close!) and then she showed me her tattoo of a leopard on her urm 'below regions' - not the whole area, just the bit before her modesty (the tattoo was a leopard face with the mouth being her genitals)! She then took her negligee off and danced some more before laying on the floor and wiggled her bum at me. She'd roll over and open her legs, again with undies on, but they were riding a bit up so let's just say I saw 50% of her bits.
She then stood up and rubbed her chest passed my face.

I didn’t know what to do or where to look. I felt even more cheap and it didn’t look like Nicole was enjoying it either. I felt if I looked at her, I was making her feel cheap – if I didn’t, then she would feel that I didn’t like her – so either way, it was uncomfortable – so I glanced and looked ahead.

At the end, again I didn’t know what to say or do. All I said was “Thank you Nicole” – and walked off leaving her to put her clothes back on. I felt really, really dirty.

My wife went in and had a dance – could hear her laughing a lot – so Nicole was a lot friendlier with a woman than a man.

After she had finished her dance, we thanked Nicole again and left. It was about 11:30pm now.

We talked about what happened and I have to say that my view HAS changed; these are not glamorous places like portrayed on TV/Movies – these place have real women with real issues. I know it is catch-22 that if men didn’t come in and pay, then the ladies wouldn’t have any money – but going in and paying made me feel cheap and also made me feel like I made HER feel cheap. I’d have preferred to have given her the £10 and not have a dance!

I cannot tell you how cheap and dirty I felt coming out of there. It was not sensual at all. I am glad I went to experience it, but I am not interested in going back. It certainly didn’t make me want to go back to my old ways of viewing/paying for adult sites – in fact, it has made me realise that these women are not objects, they are people!

Ok, I'm back  Now maybe this post will hopefully help to show a 'sober' experience of lapdancing. I can't say that every man or woman will view it the same but unless your guy is on a stag do and pretty drunk the reality is far less threatening and perhaps more sobering that I would have thought. Would i want my husband to frequent these places? NO, but I do think the experience helped lay a ghost to rest for both of us.


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## cherrypie18

Interesting post.

Here's what my husband had told me: he "doesn't" like going to strip clubs because it's a real tease and you get horny but can't have sex... I guess it's different for every man.


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## Crypsys

cherrypie18 said:


> Interesting post.
> 
> Here's what my husband had told me: he "doesn't" like going to strip clubs because it's a real tease and you get horny but can't have sex... I guess it's different for every man.


Same feeling I have with porn and strip-clubs. I wouldn't go to an all you can eat buffet just to look at the food. If I go, I want to eat it.


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## HappyHer

I think they can be an awesome experience for couples, and can really add some excitement to the rest of the evening. It's totally non-threatening, even the really nice "glamorous" ones where the women are very beautiful and very, very good at their job - it is still their job and it comes across that way. It's fun and many couples find it's a huge turn on for both of them. It really isn't anything at all like you see on tv. or the movies.


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## SimplyAmorous

It has not been a bad experience for me & my husband at all, more like HappyHer said, did some spicing. We were married for 20 yrs & he never visited one. His favorite porn has always been women solo & a pole, taking it off. And I was curious myself to check out the dance moves. We have only been to one place like this, it is higher class compared to most (not all Gentlemen clubs are the same), the women are all beautiful, graceful, and seem to very much enjoy their job, I never heard any complaining about $$ or their lives in our presence. 

Plus many women go with their men -which made me feel more comfortable, no grinding, no touching at all. He has his favorite stripper, and we go every once in a while, when we have a few friends to bring along. 

I was more than happy after the 1st time - how HOT he was when we got home, I told him we can go back there every week if he wanted! This novelty wore off after a few times of coarse. But he still loves going there from time to time and we share this time together- sitting close to each other, even holding hands while we watch, all the strippers know we are married, he tells his favorite stripper to get him Hot for me -for when we get home. I never had a lap dance myself, but I watched one when a male friend went back, I allow my husband his time alone with his favorite.

I know this all probably sounds twisted to some people, but it works for us. It was something new, something different, exciting. I enjoy watching the dance moves & talking to my male friends when we go & the food. Usually guys experience this when they are younger & hornier- so he is getting a late start, I think it makes him feel younger somehow. I must confess - I love to see he is still a "dirty old man" in some ways. 

He is a wonderful ever faithful husband so I felt he deserved this. I know this is all but just a "season" of entertainment for us, but it has been enjoyable. 

Before we went, Husband originally thought the women would be "skanky" - but he was pleasantly surprised to enjoy it very very much & I was glad he could share that with me, and not try to hide it. When he 1st took the stripper back , I did feel a little jealousy rising within, but I liked it, made me want him more. Hard to describe, he is a very shy quiet man, so it was kind of refreshing seeing him happily chatting with these beautiful women. Heck, I enjoy looking at a Hot man, so no need for me to get upset. I fully understand that men are visual. I know & feel every day his love is only for me. 

I wouldn't suggest this type of entertainment for any couples struggling with intimacy or any recent infidelity or worries of , 
as this could open a huge box of misunderstanding and hurt, even if a threat is not there. 

But it can be a good thing - for some - If you find the right Gentleman's Club.


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## misis

cherryfest, you must be proud of your husband. good that you both decided to go there and experience it.


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## Eraz2010

We've been many times to the more upmarket establishment in our City. Last time actually was a "Caberet Evening" with fine wines and great dinner.

My wife and I usually have one or two "couples" dances... she's not bi (shame!) but loves seeing the girls "workin' it" and enjoys the spectacle of us guys getting fleeced of our hard earned cash when we can't even touch! Haha!

I'm allowed to go no problem with male buddies. It's never been a problem, but then it's only ever been about once a year or maybe even less...certainly since we're all married and the stag parties are thus finished.


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