# Presuming the future



## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

Has anyone here ever successfully convinced his wife to give up credit accounts and only buy what can be paid for completely at this moment?

My wife has started to see how things cost from 2-3 times as much as they are worth when you tack on years of interest. Now, she falls prey to
"90 days same as cash", "no interest if paid within 180 days", etc.

How can I show her that interest is not the only problem? Our income may not be the same next month (or even tomorrow), and those bills have to be
paid..... I want us to pay as we go, all the time, for everything, so that if circumstances change, we are not "upside-down".


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## BeautyBeast (Feb 3, 2015)

with this kind of person - only one solution: split accounts and sign a marriage agreement. Once the account split she will either sink in debts or grow up. If she does not grow up, the marriage agreement will protect you from her debts.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

We've never found it necessary to forego credit, but we're both very responsible with money, and credit in particular. If either or both of us were not, then "pay as you go" with cash would probably be a good choice.

We save money by using credit cards, I think. We get cash-back credits, and we buy some things on Amazon that are cheaper than we can get them locally (with free shipping, we also save on driving), regardless of using cash or credit - any often, there is no sales tax, either, which adds up.

If only one of you has a problem with credit, they could forego having access to a credit card, and only the responsible person would have one to use when it makes sense. However, realize that there is a difference between being responsible, and being a controlling miser (I'm not saying you are!).


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## KaraBoo0723 (Oct 1, 2016)

Married but Happy said:


> We've never found it necessary to forego credit, but we're both very responsible with money, and credit in particular. If either or both of us were not, then "pay as you go" with cash would probably be a good choice.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




We do the same thing with CC rewards. In the beginning of our relationship we were cash only — no credit cards or financing at all. In the last two years my H has taught himself everything he can regarding credit cards, charge accounts, credit scores, you name it. We now pay everything with cards and then make multiple payments throughout the month on those cards from our checking account. Our credit scores have gone from low 500s to low 700s and we’re finally getting to a place where we can buy a house (been together 7 1/2 years). 

I know there are some fantastic websites and apps that can assist your wife in getting a better grasp on what you really end up paying with different buy now pay later options. I’ll post the ones that my H has found the most useful later tonight


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## Slartibartfast (Nov 7, 2017)

Different people tolerate different financial schemes. But one thing access to credit it good for is to allow a fixed savings scheme, $X per month locked into savings, half in better earning but less liquid accounts and half in plain cash reserved in a savings account. It is best it this can be automatic pay withholding which can be partly IRA and partly a scheduled transfer from wherever you pay deposit goes into a savings account. 

That creates a false ceiling on available money, and if your debt service gets too high, it cramps your discretionary spending without hitting your reserves. Along with that goes cancelling all credit except one credit card with decent interest and some benefits. Using a credit card isn't bad. It can produce nice benefits, if you pay it off each month. I pay absolutely everything I can, which works out to be everything but two small utility accounts where they charge a fat fee to take credit cards. 

First, it's a good way to use a credit card, because if you determine to pay it off each month, you have to face up to what your'e spending. I use CapitalOne Venture, and they have rewards that buy me a ticket to Paris each year, at zero cost to me. My income goes into a savings account there, and each month, I pay the bill out of checking and moves that same amount of money out of savings. I don't take more than is needed to may the bill. Because savings is also simple cash reserves, I have some buffer in a bad month when the car, the air conditioner, and the cat all break at once. 

I also use the bank's app and set alerts to tell me every time any charge or payment is made by either of us. It keeps us very aware of what's being spent. I think it's also useful to do all this reconciliation of money together and to put the app on both phones. Just knowing that what you spend is going to pop up instantly on the other's phone makes you think before you buy. 

And like every other plan anywhere, business or personal, it works well only when everyone buys in. You get her involved in ideas for managing money and credit. And the discussion can range a lot wider than credit cards and bank accounts. We live pretty well because (1) we don't buy new unless we have to or it's the best strategy, and (2) we do for ourselves and invest in the proper tools to do it. We've always done that. And when I retired, we had zero debt. Owned the house outright.


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## KaraBoo0723 (Oct 1, 2016)

KaraBoo0723 said:


> We do the same thing with CC rewards. In the beginning of our relationship we were cash only — no credit cards or financing at all. In the last two years my H has taught himself everything he can regarding credit cards, charge accounts, credit scores, you name it. We now pay everything with cards and then make multiple payments throughout the month on those cards from our checking account. Our credit scores have gone from low 500s to low 700s and we’re finally getting to a place where we can buy a house (been together 7 1/2 years).
> 
> I know there are some fantastic websites and apps that can assist your wife in getting a better grasp on what you really end up paying with different buy now pay later options. I’ll post the ones that my H has found the most useful later tonight




Ok, H said first and best site is Nerd Wallet, from there you can find links to credit/budget/money management forums with even more info/advice/tips/tricks


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