# Going Threw



## tall sally (Oct 22, 2009)

Hello, I need some help. My husband and IU have been married only for three years as of yesterday. He decided to leave on Sunday. We have been going threw problems for a while over child support issues, lack of communiction. My husband started as new job I adivsed do not let the enforcement unit of child support look for you, pay your child support. It was coming out of his pay directly. But starting a new job they would have to find him all over again. He ran into his ex She went to the enforcement unit and told them where he my husband now works. Mind you he has been on this job for at least one year. I have asked on more than onq occasion how much do you owe but he will not tell me. Sunday we got into n arguement in which he called the police and lied to them told them I punched him in the face when I did not, mind you I m an officer of the law just the same. He took his things out of the home but has to come back Saturday to get the rest. I love him so much, and this is not the first time he called the police on me and lied. But we worked that out, again over lack of communicaton. We go out and have the best time of our lives. Is it worth fighting for. I never cheated yet he accuses me, He does not like any person tht is close to me. I have been accused of being gay, because I a friend that might be, hell I am not even sure, but we have been friends since elementary school. I cannot sleep, or eat. He does not like my daughter, and I now have custody of a 15 month old that I am raising. He does not see his son at all, and does not have a good relationship with is 20 year old daughter. His family has informed me that his child hood was horriable and his mother is crazey. Should I fight or let go.


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## Ash22 (Oct 21, 2009)

I wish it was easy enough that I could say one or the other...the obvious reason, with everything that is going on everything that he has done, would be to let go. However since I am going thru a similar situation, its not that easy. You always want to think that that there is something more that you can do. Here's what I was told. Once you know that you have done everything that you could, and its still not working, its over. And it also takes two parties to make something work...if he is not willing, coming from me someone who is going thru this, then its hard yes but don't waste your time. The sooner we go thru the pain the sooner we can heal.


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## tall sally (Oct 22, 2009)

Thinks Ash22, you r right it is so hard. I know in time I will heal. I just feel so used. But with the grace of God I will get threw. Thanks again.


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## Ilovemyfeelings (Oct 20, 2009)

I would also agree with ASH22...do yourself a favor an RUN...get out...this man is unhealthy...and NOT right...
Always LOVE yourself first...be good to you...NO one will do that but YOU...


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## tall sally (Oct 22, 2009)

Ash, and Ilovemyfeelings, He came to get the rest of his things today and we tlkd. He is bringing up things in the past that has nothing to do what is going on now. He says he does not want me to file for a divorce. He says he got an apartment. This is mighty quick when he just left last Sunday, today makes a week. I asked did he have someoneelse, ofcourse he says no. But he will not give me the address to where he now lives just says it is in trenton nj. Also, he tells me his sons mother called for him to pick up his son. This is the woman who is taking him back to court, which ?I do not blame her for child support. He first wanted to shake my hand good by saying no hard feelings, and he wanted to hand shake. What kind of stuff is that. Then he hugged me and we kissed. He left saying he would talk to me later. That he still wants to keep in touch the only we seem to do that is via text. I feel like it is over because I do not know how it will work being seprated with him in Nj but I know he can get to work from there he works in ny. She I hold on for hope, is he yanking my chain. O yea he told me he loves me. My therapist thinks he is ashamed of the amount of child support he owes, and he cannot really face me. But he is married to me and he has left on more then one occassion. Help somone I am so confused and sooooooooooo hurt. I feel used.


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## tall sally (Oct 22, 2009)

Someone told me that he may suffer from PAPD when i read up on it. Everything leads to my husband. That is Passsive Aggressive Disorder. Mother was abusive when he was a child up untill teens and longer. He went into the navy just to get away from her. Then when he got out went home to find she sold his clothes and she kicked him out. Father told hm to get on welfare and marry a couple of muslim woman. The relationsships before me not good. So much drama. Our backgronds are soooooooo similar me with no father he left when my mom was pregnant with me and she was abusive in both ways. Incest happen to me by more than one person. Never told anyone, and yet my daughter when threw the same thing and never told a sole either. I m soooooooo angry hurt because I gave so much love, and just to feel he took it for granted. Yet I still love him.


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## Ilovemyfeelings (Oct 20, 2009)

What are you going to get other than drama?....this isn't love.....
If you don't want drama get out....because this is what you have....never peace...think about it...


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## tall sally (Oct 22, 2009)

Ilovemyfeelings, Thanks I m starting to get the picture. I have to, if not it will get worse for me.


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## tall sally (Oct 22, 2009)

Spoekt o ny husband he asked me to give him a year but gives me no reason to wait he does not call my house just sends me text on the cell phone. yet he says he has no one . He did give me his address. I spoke to a therapist she states he is a narcissist. He only thinks of himself, with no feeelings about anyone else. I looked up the information on thi disorder she is so right. But the hurt still nis there and the love just does not go away.


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## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

I'd be worried that he is going to run out on you so he can once again, escape what he owes. 

Don't answer his texts. Make him pick up the phone.


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