# Any experience with semen detection and computer forensics?



## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

My WS told me that they just kissed - no sex.

I am in investigation mode big time.

I am going to order a black light flashlight. I have searched and am have become somewhat educated on this but still want to run it by any pro out there. To find semen you need a light that has a UV (ultra violet) spectrum of 380 to 390 NM. They run in price from less then $20 to over $1,000. I found several that I believe will work and I am focused on one at blacklight.com for around $50.00. The reason we this is to test some things in the car that do not make sense to me. I found used wipes and paper towels that were stuffed between the seats. My wife is a clean freak with her car. Also, she normally just has a thin blanket spread out in the back of the SUV (over the carpet) to protect the car when we put antiques, etc in the back. I found that there was the normal blanket and on top of that a sleeping bag and a thick quilt spread out like a bed. I told my wife that it was a "love nest". She told me that it was put there for our dog when she tranported him to her brothers house in August. We crate our dog when we transport him in the car. There is padding in the crate. There is is no need to add two more thick layers of padding under the crate. Additionally, the sleeping bag and the thick quilt was not in the car the weekend prior to this. We went out and bought some antiques and I was looking for extra padding and there was just the one blanket in the back.

Computers - I have the two computers that my wife was using. One is broken. She said it fell on the floor. I can get into that computer's dianostic page after booting but I can not get into the main part of the computer. Her new computer was taken from her by my son right after she left the house to meet with her boyfriend. Any computer experts out there who can help me with logs, data, etc.? I own both computers. I bought them with my credit card and have checked with an attorney and he says that computers are mine. Additionally, my wife, kids and I all had common access to the computers. 

So I am looking for computer help.

Thanks


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

shamwow had his wife's brand new panties sent to a lab after her trip where he suspected she was meeting her OM

came back positive and he even sent the results (along with deleted texts) to the OMW


----------



## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

Take the HD out and fit it to yours as a 2nd HD. You should be able to take a gander from there.
I do that with works comps to see what the naughty colleagues have been doing  (by request of the bosses of course. I'm not crazy stalker. Honest! )


----------



## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

I do not know where to look for data or how to do this.


----------



## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> shamwow had his wife's brand new panties sent to a lab after her trip where he suspected she was meeting her OM
> 
> came back positive and he even sent the results (along with deleted texts) to the OMW


Yeah I wouldn`t go with the black light gig.
I`d have them tested.

The computers you should be able to have a geek somewhere hook up the hard drives from them so you can access the data.

You said the one was just pushed to the floor and broken so the drive should be intact.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Thorburn said:


> I do not know where to look for data or how to do this.



then look in your yellow pages for help or else you'll end up screwing up things


----------



## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

Take the hard rive from the first computer and install it as a second hard drive in the second computer. It's very easy to do. If you don't know how, search Youtube for help.

Boot the PC, and search the second drive for the data you need. Be sure to look in hidden and system folders.

GPS the car, install a VAR as well. 

Sorry you are here.


----------



## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

I will find a geek. one actually lives near me. Where do you send stuff out for testing>


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

several places offer it, google "semen testing on panties" and shop to what's best for you


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

btw- I thought you started divorce after catching her redhanded with a GPS and phone that was left on?


----------



## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

My boys (age 25 & 27) do not want me to divorce her. I am trying to honor their wishes at this time. I am paying an attorney and started the process but that is all on hold. I am trying to see if there is any other evidence so I can present it to the boys. My wife called me today and said our youngest son acted odd when he was over visiting with her on Monday and he did not call her yesterday and she says she fears loosing him.

After this past weekend (I did most things wrong) I told her I would be willing to work things out, that I loved her, etc. I was drunk almost the entire weekend and was just numb and in shock and was not in my right mind.

The whole thing has hit me like a ton a bricks when I drove back to the city where I work at on Sunday night. I believe it hit my youngest son on Monday. I think we are out of shock right now and are seeing things more clearly.

Man this sucks.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

no offense but your sons are adults and can handle what decision their dad makes


HONOR YOUR WISHES


----------



## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

How much confirmation do you require??? what are you looking for? and why?


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

This is lik ea CSI episode.

He already openly admitted to you that while you were out of the house, he had someone come over and fooled around with them as well as an escort.

Personally, I would save my $ for a divorce lawyer.

What more do you need to know? He cheated on you. In your marital home. While you were out.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> This is lik ea CSI episode.
> 
> He already openly admitted to you that while you were out of the house, he had someone come over and fooled around with them as well as an escort.
> 
> ...



uhhhh?


wrong thread?


----------



## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Thorburn said:


> My boys (age 25 & 27) do not want me to divorce her. I am trying to honor their wishes at this time. I am paying an attorney and started the process but that is all on hold. I am trying to see if there is any other evidence so I can present it to the boys. My wife called me today and said our youngest son acted odd when he was over visiting with her on Monday and he did not call her yesterday and she says she fears loosing him.
> 
> After this past weekend (I did most things wrong) I told her I would be willing to work things out, that I loved her, etc. I was drunk almost the entire weekend and was just numb and in shock and was not in my right mind.
> 
> ...


Don't try to prove anything to your sons. If this is who she is, they'll figure it out eventually. Just do the right thing and end it.


----------



## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

Your sons are part of your family, but not part of your marriage. Your marriage is between you and your wife. If you want to work it out, fine. If not, your son has no standing to object.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> uhhhh?
> 
> 
> wrong thread?


Oops. My bad. Sorry. LOL.


----------



## JustaJerk (Dec 2, 2011)

You can actually get this done? You learn something new everyday I guess. I just cant imagine people sending their wive's dirty, smelly panties to be handled by someone... leaves a bad taste in my mouth.


----------



## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

JustaJerk said:


> ... leaves a bad taste in my mouth.


That's an unorthodox way to recommend semen detection... but, whatever. 

if you wanna volunteer for some freaky shananigans like that please PM the author of this thread. I dont wanna hear about it, I puked a little in my mouth.

lol.


----------



## JustaJerk (Dec 2, 2011)

You and me both. 

Have you seen *Dumb and Dumber *when he wants puke after catching his friend with his girl? That's the impression I got when you said you puked a little.


----------



## Dadof3 (Mar 14, 2011)

Pit-of-my-stomach said:


> That's an unorthodox way to recommend semen detection... but, whatever.
> 
> if you wanna volunteer for some freaky shananigans like that please PM the author of this thread. I dont wanna hear about it, I puked a little in my mouth.
> 
> lol.


I was just going to say "THATS WHAT SHE SAID!"


----------



## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Well, I can't tell you anything about computers but here is what seemed off to me..you say your wife is a clean freak, and she told you the blanket was down for the dog. A dog will shed and leave behind his hairs on the blanket. A clean freak would not be okay with laying on a blanket covered in dog hair. I don't know what breed of dog this is but larger dogs will also drool and leave behind saliva, and a clean freak will definitely not be wanting to lay on that. Also, the arrangement of the blanket could be something to look at, was it all wrinkled up? Like a dog will "fluff" it when they lay down. Also look for signs of trace evidence from humans. Look for human hair, look for clothing fibers, shoe prints, etc.


----------



## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

So much work for something you already know. Are you still trying to convince yourself?


----------



## Yardman (Sep 10, 2011)

There are kits available that detect semen. I think one of them is called checkmate.


----------



## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Yardman said:


> There are kits available that detect semen. I think one of them is called checkmate.


Checkmate...

CheckMate Infidelity Test Kit for Semen-Sperm Stain Detection.


----------



## ren (Aug 1, 2011)

Remember this?



Thorburn said:


> Scene one (from last night Nov. 29th 2011): Wife in car with boyfriend sitting in a parking lot at an Amish Church in the country. Beautiful scenery. Sun starting to set. Wife's cell phone rings. Wife- "Hey". Me-"Hey" I tell her about my day. Wife says, hey I am out. Oh, says me, you are out shopping? Wife - yea-here at Walmart on such and such a street, (Me thinking-you know the one on the other side of town that you never go to). Me-have fun, love you. Wife-love you.
> 
> Scene two: I call son and tell him that his mother just told me she is at Walmart, 30 miles away from where her GPS has her located. My son and I are both tracking her on our computers. My son says-"Dad, we got her". I tell my son I am going to call her and confront her.
> 
> ...


You already busted her with the other man. 
Why do you need to waste your money trying to figure out where the other man busted with her?


----------



## JustaJerk (Dec 2, 2011)

Its a bad case of DENIAL.


----------



## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

nice777guy said:


> Don't try to prove anything to your sons. If this is who she is, they'll figure it out eventually. Just do the right thing and end it.


:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:


----------



## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> Well, I can't tell you anything about computers but here is what seemed off to me..you say your wife is a clean freak, and she told you the blanket was down for the dog. A dog will shed and leave behind his hairs on the blanket. A clean freak would not be okay with laying on a blanket covered in dog hair. I don't know what breed of dog this is but larger dogs will also drool and leave behind saliva, and a clean freak will definitely not be wanting to lay on that. Also, the arrangement of the blanket could be something to look at, was it all wrinkled up? Like a dog will "fluff" it when they lay down. Also look for signs of trace evidence from humans. Look for human hair, look for clothing fibers, shoe prints, etc.


There was no dog on these blankets. My wife transported the dog months ago in a crate. The crate has it's own padding in it. She is using that as an explanation as to why there are big thick blankets in the back of the SUV and just goes to show how lame it is. The crate is large (we have a Golden Retriever) and the crate has a solid plastic bottom with a pad in it. We rarely transport the dog. The last time was in August. My wife always has a thin blanket spread out in the back of the SUV and if we have to put the back seats down (to make more room for hauling stuff) my wife will make sure the blanket covers the entire back to include the additional space created by putting the seats down. I helped her with the crate. There was just the thin blanket and there was no other additional padding needed.

The weekend before the confrontation we bought antiques and I remembered that there was just the one blanket in the back because I needed extra padding to protect some things and there wasn't any other blankets in our SUV.

This past weekend after the confrontation I saw that she added a thick sleeping bag, the kind that can be unzipped and used as a large blanket and a thick quilt. These were spread out on top of the blanket that is normally in our SUV. They were spread out and the folded neatly where they went up against the back seats. Just fold down the seats, unfold the blankets and you have an instant bed.

I know that my wife prepared a bed in our SUV to have sex (she denied it and says it was there when she transported the dog months ago). 

She has told me that sex could have happened that night but my phone call interrupted them. I called my wife and confronted her within a few minutes of them parking the vehicle in a church parking lot. I know the time exactly. While they were driving to the church I called my wife (not letting her know yet that I knew where she was and with whom) and we talked about our day and exchanged I love you's. She said she was at Walmart, 30 miles away from her location. They pulled into the church parking lot and were there for 5 minutes. I called her and confronted her. We talked for 4 minutes. I called her again exactly two minutes later talked more (yelling and screaming from her). After she hung up I called her right back and her phone answered and I heard her and her boyfriend talking for minutes as they were flying down the road and she dropped him off near his house and headed home.

If they had sex it would have happened very fast. I still believe that they did not have sex that night as they were only parked for 5 minutes.


----------



## Dadof3 (Mar 14, 2011)

Our point is - does it really matter if there is semen somewhere? Whether or not they did anything that one time is irregardless of the fact that she's actively cheating on you and un-remorseful. 

Let her go and be with this guy (I know your history is long with her) but she lost the right to be given the benefit of the doubt when she was uncovered and denied with proof present.

You will just go crazy denying the inevitable just for a little bit longer, holding on the the hope that she hasn't quite crossed the forbidden point. 

Let her go. Have him take care of her now. She'll see the errors of her ways eventually.


----------



## Dadof3 (Mar 14, 2011)

5 minutes can be an eternity when it comes to sex for some!


----------



## sadcalifornian (Sep 18, 2011)

Why do you think the sex must have happened that particular day you caught her at OM's house? 

Also, since she has been already busted and you are just trying to find the confirmation that they had sex, isn't it better to simply demand polygraph?


----------



## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

She told you she was willing to have sex with him. Isn't that enough for you. Tell your sons if they don't want their parents to divorce to discuss that with your wife, as it is her actions that are causing it.


----------



## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

I would say she is lying. That she is saying the truth is a one in a million chance. What about the times she did not have GPS on her car. Sorry to be crude but please make any decisions assuming that she did have sex multiple time and he came in her.

This was how another forum poster's wife reacted when he confronted her about PA



> She swears on the lives of our children that it was just an EA not PA and actually has a look of disgust on her face when I have suggested that it could have been more


Later it was revealed that the PA was going on for an year. WS can be very good actors. You should have known it by now


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Hicks said:


> She told you she was willing to have sex with him. Isn't that enough for you. Tell your sons if they don't want their parents to divorce to discuss that with your wife, as it is her actions that are causing it.


:iagree:

I know your son's want to give her a chance, but common does it matter if she actually murdered you, or just tried to murder you?

She was intent on having sex with another man. She'll just find another way another time to do it. Are you going to watch her the rest of her life.

Has she shown remorse for her choice, or shown regret for being caught?


----------



## OOE (Mar 17, 2011)

Thorburn,

I have a 20yo son, so mine is the voice of experience.

Your boys will always have their mother - no matter what she did or what happens to your marriage. They might think less of her, but since they've been involved in the investigation already, finding "real" evidence won't change anything.

Focus on you.

(I stayed with a cheating wife for a year "for the kids." Don't make that mistake. Even after going through 13 months of soul-sucking limbo, I still ended up divorcing her, so much of the continued pain - and distress for my boys - was uneccesary.)


----------



## ArmyofJuan (Dec 29, 2010)

Dadof3 said:


> 5 minutes can be an eternity when it comes to sex for some!


Hey, don't be hate'n. We need love to ya know!


----------



## dig4con (Dec 11, 2011)

I would have to disagree with those suggestions above that recommend either digging through the hard drive yourself, or using the services of a friendly geek. I am a computer forensics examiner, and I've examined a number of machines involved in family law concerns. Any time that there's the chance that digital evidence like the contents of a hard drive might be needed in legal proceedings, the best thing to do is to completely stop using the computer. A professional examiner can create a forensic image of your hard drive which will preserve the information on it for any possible later need in legal proceedings, or in simply trying to find out what's going on. All too many times I've seen cases in which people trying to lend a helping hand or even non-forensic I.T. professionals have tried to look at information on a drive but unwittingly destroyed information which can be very important in trying to figure out what a hard drive has been used for.

Make no mistake about it, a computer forensic examination conducted by a professional can be very expensive, normally running upwards of a thousand dollars for even a simple examination. Because of the cost I would only recommend retaining an expert if you want to preserve the information for a courtroom, or have concerns about preserving your assets, which can often justify the expense. 

You can certainly feel free to message me if you think I can help with any more information, but if you really want to know what's been going on with the computer I would definitely recommend a forensic examination conducted by a professional.


----------



## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

Thanks all. I just wrote the novel of my life about what happened over the weekend and saved it.

Long story short she confessed to everything around 3:00 A.M. early Sunday morning. Sex etc.

I am going to give it a chance but I have all the paperwork done for a divorce.

It was one hell of a weekend.

My wife is being tested today for STD's and pregnancy (at age 50).

She called her three brothers who are all pastors, one Baptist, one Evangelical and One pentacostal, and told them what she did.

This would be too long to explain but I did nothing to deserve this, I was and am a great husband to her. She is one F***ed up person and she can't fix it it is over.


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Is she willing to stop cheating?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

Shaggy said:


> Is she willing to stop cheating?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


She says she does. Seems remorseful. The fact that she called her brothers and told them what she did and that I had nothing to do with what she did spoke volumns to me. She also told our youngest son. He just sat and listened and walked out the house pissed.

I don't think I can ever trust her and I am trying to determine if I can live with that.


----------



## Dadof3 (Mar 14, 2011)

So - how did this end up coming about? If you don't mind, how close were you in your suspicions?

Is it possible she may be trickle truthing to prevent you from digging out more than she'll admit to right now?


----------



## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

It is surprising how on the spot on the forum was about her infidelity. Everyone saw through the bullsh!t.


----------



## strugglinghusband (Nov 9, 2011)

Do not trust the home kits, read about false positives. i thought my wife had P/A thru one of thse home kits, turned purple in like 25 seconds. i read about the false postives and sent to these folks, turns out I was wrong.
Semen and Sperm Detection, Incorporated (SSDI) - Semen, Sperm, and Saliva Detections


----------



## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

Dadof3 said:


> So - how did this end up coming about? If you don't mind, how close were you in your suspicions?
> 
> Is it possible she may be trickle truthing to prevent you from digging out more than she'll admit to right now?


My Update: I know it is long, sorry.

Came home Friday drunk. My wife kept insisting that she wanted me to come home. I did not want to come home. I am living several hours away during the work week. I am not a nasty drunk and when I got home I did not unpack anything from my truck. I stopped at a store on my way home and bought a card that had a history of things on her birthday, candy that her grandmother use to give her, etc. When I got home I asked her to go into our family room. I explained to her the significance of each gift. That on the day she was born her parents had many high hopes for her. I took a picture of her father and handed it to her and said when he was dying seven years ago he pulled me aside and asked me to always take care of his daughter. I shared that her mother did the same thing prior to her death earlier this year. Her parents adored me and I loved them. They were responsible with us reconsiliation 12 years ago when she did something similar. They knew their daughter.

I told her that the only reason I came home was because of a promise I made to them and I really do not want to be there. 

The night was just small talk. I went to bed at 1:00 A.M. and got up around 4:00 A.M.

She got up around 9:00 A.M. Saturday and just walked around the house all day like a lost zombie puppy. I was getting more and more pissed. I wanted to unload but kept my mouth shut. I was drinking and drunk. I kept checking the computer as I had gotten the account to our checkbook on line and could see when she met with the guy as she used her debit card to get gas, etc. near his house (a place that is 20 miles away from our home and a place she never goes). Found out she went to the liquor store and bought liquor (she never does this). Knew she bought a phone. I am not saying a word.

I go out to a bar. but I could not stay (my younger son called me and said do not anything stupid). I went home and started to drink. I was listening to Tom Wait in our family room drinking and smoking (I never smoke in the house). I was in total pain. My wife comes down to the family room insisted I go to bed with her around midnight on Saturday. We got into bed. I wanted sex (but did not say anything). She reaches over and taps me on the shoulder and says good night rolled over (I thought WTH). I lost it inside. I got up and said I can't sleep and I told her I can't take it. I told her that I need to come home on the weekends and have fun and her just walking around the house like a zombie will not cut it. I told her I am leaving and will be back home after the New Years. She said she did not want me to leave that this is my house too. I could not take it any further. No remorse, TT, etc. I packed up the little bit of stuff I brought in to our house and was ready to leave at 1:00 A.M. I have had three hours sleep in past two days and I was drunk. My wife stayed in bed and fell asleep (truthfully she was exhasuted as she was not sleeping - no pity on my part)

As I was leaving the house (some Christians will understand this) Thre was something like a voice telling me to check the Sears credit card. WTH. Am I cracking up I forgot we had one and I found it. I honestly do not know where my wife keeps our account stuff and like a robot I was led (I think by God) to a drawer (one I never go into because I never had a need to look in it). And there under a stack of papers was all our online account information. 

i got my computer out and low and behold I found she had a secret phone account.

She lied to me and my sons about this (no surprise right?)

I went upstairs and woke up my older son, went into our bedroom and turned on the lights and woke my wife up. I started to threw her clothes out of her closet and told her to leave as I know all about the phone. I was cursing. My wfie was defient saying she would not leave. I disabled her car. She was pissed. My son was about to call the cops and I told him just stay with me and witness what I am doing as I would not harm his mother. 

I showed my wife all the actions I had taken for a divorce and she was shocked.

She fell to the floor and grabbed my leg and was begging me not to leave or divorce her.

I told her to get her ass downstairs and come clean.

I started to smash pictures of the two of us she had around the room. I started to burn our wedding album and my son took it from me. I handed my wife my wedding ring. My wife told me to sit down. I grabbed another bottle of booze and sat down. I told her that this is her last chance to come clean or I will finish the divorce papers on Monday. 

She lost it and opend up like a floodgate. Confessed everything. 

There is a hell of lot more to write as all this went on for hours, but I have no doubt that she told me everything.

I told her that If I ever found out that she left anything out or the answers she gave me were wrong there will be no discussion.

I was not bluffing about the divorce but will give R one chance. Right now she is having blood work done for STD's and pregnancy and I am three hours away.


----------



## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

You need to take care of yourself. Drinking won't help. I hope this is a temporary thing.

The secret phone, was it after the D-Day?


----------



## calif_hope (Feb 25, 2011)

Thorburn....

You have had and you have to maintain the high road.....you need to cut off the booze, not one sip. In a drunken state your current superior position in your relationship and you life can be list in on drunken split second.

Take care of yourself.....your sons have your back on this but like any son worth anything will defend his mom against a drunken man no matter what she did to him and I think the sober you would want them to.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

Thorburn said:


> They were responsible with us reconsiliation *12 years ago when she did something similar*. They knew their daughter.



She did this 12 years ago? 

That's at least twice that you know of.

I wonder if she's a serial cheater?

Sigh, that's a tough spot you're in.


----------



## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

warlock07 said:


> You need to take care of yourself. Drinking won't help. I hope this is a temporary thing.
> 
> The secret phone, was it after the D-Day?


I hear a cell phone noise twice some time ago. It was muffled. My dog started barking the second time it went off. I had my phone in my pocket and her phone was next to me on a table. I knew she had another phone. She came down stairs and I mentioned that I heard a muffled phone. She looked shocked and said that it was my son's phone upstairs. I went outside and called my son and he had his phone on him. I did not bother to look for this phone I just figured it will be a matter of time. The next day she came to me twice, once in the morning and once in the evening to explain the sound. WTH. I knew she was lying.

On D-day she told me and the boys that she did not have a second phone. My youngest son yelled at her and said dad heard it. She lied.

I found out she indeed did have on phone at 1:00 A.M this passed Sunday morning. That is when I woke her up and went nuts and told her I am tired of her lies.


----------



## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

aug said:


> She did this 12 years ago?
> 
> That's at least twice that you know of.
> 
> ...


This is what I and her brothers are trying to figure out.

Why is she like this?


----------



## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

warlock07 said:


> You need to take care of yourself. Drinking won't help. I hope this is a temporary thing.
> 
> The secret phone, was it after the D-Day?


I am done coming home drunk.


----------



## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

warlock07 said:


> It is surprising how on the spot on the forum was about her infidelity. Everyone saw through the bullsh!t.


Warlock, I was listening and still am.


----------



## Yardman (Sep 10, 2011)

Good move on laying off the alcohol.


----------



## sadcalifornian (Sep 18, 2011)

Thorburn, you must get all the truth of her present and past indescretion, if you really want her to face the demon and change once and for all. She is a serial cheater. Accept this. 

Although she may have come clean on this particular affair, there is a good chance that she did this between the two affairs that you already know of. Demand polygraph!!!

Considering the repeated pattern of her behaviors, this is the only way.


----------



## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

Thorburn said:


> My Update: I know it is long, sorry.
> 
> Came home Friday drunk. My wife kept insisting that she wanted me to come home. I did not want to come home. I am living several hours away during the work week. I am not a nasty drunk and when I got home I did not unpack anything from my truck. I stopped at a store on my way home and bought a card that had a history of things on her birthday, candy that her grandmother use to give her, etc. When I got home I asked her to go into our family room. I explained to her the significance of each gift. That on the day she was born her parents had many high hopes for her. I took a picture of her father and handed it to her and *said when he was dying seven years ago he pulled me aside and asked me to always take care of his daughter. I shared that her mother did the same thing prior to her death earlier this year. *Her parents adored me and I loved them. They were responsible with us reconsiliation 12 years ago when she did something similar. They knew their daughter.



By taking care of their daughter, do you mean you promised them to stay married to your wife?


----------



## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

I understand you're hurting and I commend you for getting to the bottom of this...but you really need to leave your sons out of this.

You're involving them way way way too much in this.

Your relationship with your wife is unravelling, their relationship with their mother is eternal.


----------



## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

sadcalifornian said:


> Thorburn, you must get all the truth of her present and past indescretion, if you really want her to face the demon and change once and for all. She is a serial cheater. Accept this.
> 
> Although she may have come clean on this particular affair, there is a good chance that she did this between the two affairs that you already know of. Demand polygraph!!!
> 
> Considering the repeated pattern of her behaviors, this is the only way.


In her lying stage I brought this up and she said that she heard that they are not accurate but she would get one if I wanted her to do one. Now that she has come "clean" and is willing to do anything and everything I will set one up and see what she has to say.

She just got done with the Doctor and explained everything to him. I know him professionally and he spent a lot of time with her counseling her. He gave her good advice on how she needs to fix this. She will be tested for pregnancy and STD's and will be given the results over the phone. I want to see the hard copies and will ask her to sign a consent of release.


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

She is a very experience deceiver so you should expect that there is more back history than she is still telling. Demand the polygraph. And demand real therapy for her, not ministers and not peer groups.she is a sick woman to have done this and it sounds like she has done ths before.

Even when you caught her out previously parked and ready to have sex, she can home and lied to you. Se kept her affair phone too.

Btw have you checked it's call and text log for what she has been upto since dday last week.


.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

sinnister said:


> I understand you're hurting and I commend you for getting to the bottom of this...but you really need to leave your sons out of this.
> 
> You're involving them way way way too much in this.
> 
> Your relationship with your wife is unravelling, their relationship with their mother is eternal.


Got it.


----------



## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

Shaggy said:


> She is a very experience deceiver so you should expect that there is more back history than she is still telling. Demand the polygraph. And demand real therapy for her, not ministers and not peer groups.she is a sick woman to have done this and it sounds like she has done ths before.
> 
> Even when you caught her out previously parked and ready to have sex, she can home and lied to you. Se kept her affair phone too.
> 
> ...


I do not know how to check her phone. She claims she threw it away. I do not know how to access this account. I know where it was purchases (it is in our checking account) and she bought an ATT & T phone plan.


----------



## sadcalifornian (Sep 18, 2011)

Thorburn said:


> In her lying stage I brought this up and she said that she heard that they are not accurate but she would get one if I wanted her to do one. Now that she has come "clean" and is willing to do anything and everything I will set one up and see what she has to say.


Skeptics always bring up the fact that polygraph is not 100% accurate, but then again what in life really is 100% accurate? It is accurate enough that FBI and various law enforcements do use it worldwide. Also, it is admissible in court for civil suit. 

Also, you must know that the polygraph is a very invasive tool and taking such test is somewhat traumatic experiment on its own. It will jolt her into realizing that such tool can always drag out any dirty secret she may have thought she could take to her grave.


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Thorburn said:


> I do not know how to check her phone. She claims she threw it away. I do not know how to access this account. I know where it was purchases (it is in our checking account) and she bought an ATT & T phone plan.


So look on the trash can. Also call it if you ave the number. Do you have access to it online? 

Is she writing a NC letter?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

Shaggy said:


> So look on the trash can. Also call it if you ave the number. Do you have access to it online?
> 
> Is she writing a NC letter?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


NC letter. Yes I have a good sample and it will be done this weekend. I want to be there when it is mailed.

The phone - I believe she claimed she threw it away weeks ago. The trash is already gone. I checked it.

She claims she does not know the number. I do not know my cell phone number unless I look it up. 

I do not know how to look this up. I need to know the acount number and she claims she did not set up an account online. All I need to do is find the phone number and the account number and find out if there is a way to access the account.


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

How did she pay for the phone? Using a credit card?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

As Shaggy said, therapy should be an absolute must and non-negotiable condition for you to continue in the marriage.


----------



## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

Shaggy said:


> How did she pay for the phone? Using a credit card?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yes. I called att&t and they said I need the phone number trying to call radio shack to see if they have the information


----------



## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

morituri said:


> As Shaggy said, therapy should be an absolute must and non-negotiable condition for you to continue in the marriage.


she started counseling


----------



## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

Getting the data off of a computer is pretty easy. You can always install a file recovery program. They are pretty cheap and you can usually get them for a trial basis, but if you want to restore anything, you will have to pay for the licence. 

Also there is a nice little feature on most operating systems called system restore.. Using this feature, you can set the computer back to a certain date. It will show internet history and everything from that date. The catch is your system had to have been set up to do back ups, if not then you cant use it... When you start the process it will tell you if there are back ups or not.

For the one that is not working you may have to get it fixed before you can restore any data on it...


Hope this helps.


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Can you see the detail in the cc bill? Can you find the transaction details?

Was it a pay as you go, or a real phone with an account?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Wait, back up... She threw the phone away weeks ago? But dday was last week.?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

Shaggy said:


> Wait, back up... She threw the phone away weeks ago? But dday was last week.?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I did not press her on the phone as far as when she threw it away. I plan to do so this weekend.

I called Radio shack and it was a Go-phone and she bought $15.00 of air time. They are not sure of the phone number other other then the last 4 numbers and the area code. They believe the 3 additional digits are one of two combos.

I believe I figure it out but am not 100%. The number I call is disconnected which would make sense.

She paid $80.00 in October for more air time on AT&T using one of our credit cards.

I will call AT&T tomorrow to see if this number was hers and see if I can get the information of phone calls made and texts made.

I am not in hyper mode about but am following the advice given on this post to do so.

I just want to be able to verify what she has told me.


----------



## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

I hate those disposable phones, you see them in Wal Mart, Radio Shack, Supermarkets, etc. I can understand the need for those who can't or don't have regular calling plans, but they are useful tools for those who want to cheat. 

Fortunately for Thorburn, the WW used a card to purchase the phone and air time. In my case, I was looking for any unexplained ATM withdrawals or any of our checks written for cash.


----------



## Bartimaus (Oct 15, 2011)

Thorburn said:


> Thanks all. I just wrote the novel of my life about what happened over the weekend and saved it.
> 
> Long story short she confessed to everything around 3:00 A.M. early Sunday morning. Sex etc.
> 
> ...


You have been in denial and now you seem ready to have the wool pulled over your eyes by a woman that has no conscience. Sorry everyone for being so blunt but today was my divorce day and this guys wife sounds so much like my wife that I feel sorry for his hesitation to do what is right, and that is to divorce her. But hey pal,get her to admit on a VAR and use it to get child custody if possible. She cheated man,she willingly had sex with him and it was premeditated. She so conviently had their bed setup for their asses to stay warm in your car. Preplanned,premeditated and worked out in detail for their pleasure and comfort. Doesn't this tell you anything about her? How cold and ruthless she is to murder your heart and soul? Like my wife, she has abused you and murdered you!
The more I read on here,the more that I see how cunning and crafty my ex was to try and not get caught. She knew all about the methods and ways of catching cheaters and covered every base so.. sing this Eagles song to her '....you set it up so well so carefully, ain't it funny how your new life didn't change things,your still the same old girl you used to be you can't hide your lying eyes,and your smile.....'. I suggest you sing this to her as you deliver the divorce papers to her.


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

If you have the area code and last four that only leaves the remaining 999 and a bunch of those don't work like 555 so a brute force dialing effort might find the phone.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Dadof3 (Mar 14, 2011)

I think most pay as you go phones use 3 digit prefixes within a range used in the area code they are activated in.


----------



## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Dadof3 said:


> I think most pay as you go phones use 3 digit prefixes within a range used in the area code they are activated in.


My kid has one and that`s how his works.


----------

