# Am I an alcoholic?



## questionme2 (Dec 23, 2008)

I'm a mother and working wife/mom. When I met my husband - 11 years ago, he liked to drink wine. I never really drank unless I went out to a party. Well, slowly, it became a habit for us to drink nightly. We drink about a bottle of wine a night. Sometimes I will have 2 or 3 glasses. Or I will have 2-3 beers. I have tried to go without. I had done pretty well by drinking a non alcoholic beer and then having one glass of wine a night. It seems that this may be more of a habit/addiction. However, I started getting worried a few weeks ago. My husband was not home for dinner all week, so I tried to go without drinking. I made it 4 days. I was very proud of myself. But, when Friday night rolled around...my husband was back to drink wine again...and we were out drinking again. 

I haven't missed work - but I have woken up lately with headaches. I assume that's a light hang over from 3 glasses of wine the night before. I am wondering if I am an alcoholic? I have recently walked by tables at an early dinner and realized that not everyone was drinking alcohol. I can't imagine going out to eat without wine. What's so crazy about all of this - I never drank in college. I didn't like the idea of being controlled by a substance. I've never done drugs. 

What do you think? How should I work on myself? Am I overreacting?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Hard to answer as for me, 2-3 servings doesnt get me even slightly tipsy, thus I am not sure if you're getting "drunk" every night (it depends on your weight)

are you drinking to feel numb and escape? 

Did you feel withdraw during the 4 days?


Try not drinking at all for month and see if you can do it (even if your husband is drinking), that would be very telling.


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## mikey11 (May 31, 2011)

It sounds like you are addicted to alcohol if you are having a hard time going one or two days without it, it sounds like it has just become a habit,
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## questionme2 (Dec 23, 2008)

I drink at home. Even if I'm alone. Yes i drink to escape the drama of my crazy life/work/marriage. I don't think I recognize that, but I definitely love feeling relaxed after having wine. 

I tried to give alcohol up for lent. I didn't make it the whole time. But I only had about a glass a night toward the end. I just needed the break. I believe I also use alcohol as a way to avoid eating. It gives me something to focus on and it helps keep me thin. I just always need at least 2 glasses a night. 



UOTE=Almostrecovered;414309]Hard to answer as for me, 2-3 servings doesnt get me even slightly tipsy, thus I am not sure if you're getting "drunk" every night (it depends on your weight)

are you drinking to feel numb and escape? 

Did you feel withdraw during the 4 days?


Try not drinking at all for month and see if you can do it (even if your husband is drinking), that would be very telling.[/QUOTE]
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

well youre not a raging alcoholic, that's for sure

but you're falling into a habit that may be concerning. A glass of wine a day is good for you, but if you're going past moderation like that constantly then it would be best to get advice from a professional.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

I drink, and that sounds a LITTLE excessive to me. Agree with another post that you're not a RAGING alcoholic. The desire to stop but inability to should worry you a little. Doesn't sound like you miss anything when drinking or screw up royally. It's good to be concerned, and keep an eye on yourself, but I wouldn't worry too much if I were you.


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## mikey11 (May 31, 2011)

Drinking alone, and drinking to escape from reality are two sure signs of a drinking problem,

Do you ever crave alcohol during the day while at work? Do you ever think "I can't wait to get home so I can drink"? That would be another sign of a problem,
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## questionme2 (Dec 23, 2008)

Well, yes, I often think I can't wait to get home to dinner/wine. But, something happened to me last night. I got wrapped up in dealing with contractors etc and I realized that I hadn't missed it... because I was preoccupied. I still had 2 drinks before bed - but I was happy to realize that I got caught up with everything else and went past my normal "wine time". 

My husband is a pretty big proponent. He acts like I have 2 heads if I try going through dinner without wine. He is definitely in the habit. Last week I had a horrible day. He texted and said I will drive home from dinner....I promise you can drink margaritas at dinner. Well, his dad was visiting. I ordered one small margarita and 1 beer. I then realized that my husband had 2 margaritas and a beer. He then drove us home and nearly got into an accident. I don't know if it was his drinking that caused it...but it couldn't have helped.


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## mikey11 (May 31, 2011)

If you don't want to drink your husband should be supporting your decision, not making fun of you, it sounds like he has a bigger problem then you do,

It sounds like you are also drinking out of bordem, try to do something else during your "wine time" instead of drinking, maybe find a new hobby or something,

And I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that drinking and driving don't mix, that is just being 100% irresponsible
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## rikithemonk (Jun 8, 2011)

There is a difference between a habit formed through daily routine and an addiction formed through a biological need. It sounds to me like your not comfortable saying to your husband, "No thank you, Ill just have a coke." You come across as if you feel obligated to drink. 

This is not alcoholism. Alcohol ism is when you get home and have a drink as soon as you step through the door. From that point, its drink after drink, until you fall asleep. You wake up the next day with no memory of the evening past 8:00 what so ever. 

Terry Pratchett say it best. "He knew that if he had one drink, it would arrive in a dozen glasses."


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## questionme2 (Dec 23, 2008)

I have told my husband I will just have a coke every once in awhile....but I don't want to. I feel like I am on a slippery edge trying to avoid a drink and as soon as the tempation is there - I give in. I don't drink out of obligation to him....just more out of temptation. 

I know this because I do a good deal of my drinking...alone. Just because he's not around - doesn't mean I won't drink. I definitely do...however it helps me when he's not - if I'm trying to have just one drink or something. 

I just don't like feeling as if I have this uncontrolable preoccupation to drink. I think a hobby could help - but I'm home with the kids at night. We can't do much because it's the time to get them ready for bed and things wound down...


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## rikithemonk (Jun 8, 2011)

questionme2 said:


> I have told my husband I will just have a coke every once in awhile....but I don't want to. I feel like I am on a slippery edge trying to avoid a drink and as soon as the tempation is there - I give in. I don't drink out of obligation to him....just more out of temptation.
> 
> I know this because I do a good deal of my drinking...alone. Just because he's not around - doesn't mean I won't drink. I definitely do...however it helps me when he's not - if I'm trying to have just one drink or something.
> 
> I just don't like feeling as if I have this uncontrollable preoccupation to drink. I think a hobby could help - but I'm home with the kids at night. We can't do much because it's the time to get them ready for bed and things wound down...


There is a trick the weight loss people use. They remove the temptation from the house. If it isn't there, then you cant have it. Sounds simplistic, but it does work. 

My suggestion is to replace it with something else. Try sex. Every time you think about drinking, jump your husband.  After a while the habit will break.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

if your conserned about then I would back off for a while ..say like a month.

If your husband teases you say if you want to drink fine but I'm just not in the mood for a drink.


find a hobby or something to do in the eve instead of just sitting around sipping wine.

Go for a walk, try to take the hubby with you and reconnect talk about things


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## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

I like my daily wine too. I look forward to it, but if it doesn't happen, I live. I do find, if there is other alcohol in the house, that I don't like, I am not AT ALL tempted. If you couldn't have wine, would you drink something else just because it was there? I know I wouldn't.


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## mikey11 (May 31, 2011)

Your not an alcoholic, you just have a bad habit, so the solution is to replace that habit with a different one, that is healthier and more productive,
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## questionme2 (Dec 23, 2008)

This is all good news. Thank you. I feel a lot better about myself. I really appreciate these ideas!


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## Sanity (Mar 7, 2011)

Nothing good comes from drinking. I come from a family of drunks and I know how casual drinking can become a destructive addiction. 

I've learned that if you drink socially maybe a few times a year you should be ok but If you find yourself needing a beer to get through the day or night I recommend you stop cold turkey AND remove alcohol from your home.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mikey11 (May 31, 2011)

questionme2 said:


> This is all good news. Thank you. I feel a lot better about myself. I really appreciate these ideas!


Keep in mind that nobody becomes an alcoholic overnight, it is a slow process that get worse and worse everyday, just something to keep in mind if you continue down this path who knows where you will be in 6 months or a year,
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## questionme2 (Dec 23, 2008)

I would agree. I have a question though in response to one of the posts here. If I truly was an alcoholic would I go without a drink if I was out of my favorite. For example, if I was out of wine and I didn't go buy some... I would just go without despite the fact I had a cabinet full of hard liquer. Does that mean anything? 




mikey11 said:


> Keep in mind that nobody becomes an alcoholic overnight, it is a slow process that get worse and worse everyday, just something to keep in mind if you continue down this path who knows where you will be in 6 months or a year,
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

Here's a link to one of the most common, statistically validated alcoholism screening tools--it might be more helpful than looking at individual situations....

Michigan Alcohol Screening Tool (MAST): About.com


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## mikey11 (May 31, 2011)

questionme2 said:


> I would agree. I have a question though in response to one of the posts here. If I truly was an alcoholic would I go without a drink if I was out of my favorite. For example, if I was out of wine and I didn't go buy some... I would just go without despite the fact I had a cabinet full of hard liquer. Does that mean anything?
> 
> 
> 
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


_Posted via Mobile Device_

Alcoholics will normally drink anything they can get their hands on, thay are not picky or choosy


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