# Mediation Begins Today



## gnome enthusiast (May 2, 2012)

First post. I caught my wife of 12 years having an EA in January. I knew something was up since maybe last Fall, and though I confronted her, she denied anything was going on. Well, a quick check of the texts and found an obscene volume of texts going to some ********* kid she works with. I confronted her, she denied anything was going on, but the volume of texts told the truth - they coulda been discussing birdwatching and it was still a severe breach of trust. Anyway, she blamed me for the affair, and said she has "never been happy" in our marriage (which I know is bs).

We have two kids - soon to be 8 and 11. Therefore, I said let's try to work on things, do counseling, etc. She says she is "too angry" (WTF?) for any of that and we should get divorced. The truth is, the last year I have been in poor health and under incredible stress at work - so yeah, I ain't been 100% and moderately depressed. However, I let her do whattever she wanted and didn't make her work (mistake, I know), I really just wanted her to be happy, and of course she repays me with an affair. 

Now, I am actually ok with getting away from her - I don't want to be with somebody that has such little respect for me. Mediation begins today, and I am hoping for a quick and easy process. I feel ****ing horrible for my kids though - this is going to be a huge blow to them. Is that why I feel like such crap? My point is, I can't stop obsessing over this situation - I KNOW I need to get away from this loser of a wife - so why do I feel so awful? Any help would be appreciated.


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

You are displaying what a lot of cheaters can't - empathy for others. You are feeling the sadness that the kids may feel, you are feeling the loss of time past and things done together. Your feelings are NORMAL.
Her's, on the other hand, are not.
And when they do go back to normal, she may just think, 'Oh s**t.'


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Shes in the fog and doesn't give a rat's behind about you, the marriage or the kids.

I agree, one day she will wake up and realise what an a*s she has been, but don't expect an apology.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

gnome, I know exactly how you feel. My STBXH was in two EAs, (apparently he'll cheat on anyone) and is leaving our home, the state and his two kids after 25 yrs of marriage-and I'm the one feeling guilty about the divorce. He doesn't care about me or the family and its just horrid. We have to be strong for the kids, 'cause this mess sure wasn't their fault. I've been reading the stories on TAM and apparently it will get better. Unsure when that will be, but it will.


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## gnome enthusiast (May 2, 2012)

Thanks for the replies! Mediation was OK - I am getting pretty close to 50-50 physical custody of the kids, so that is good. I won't say the session was completely smooth, but I hold out hope that we can get it done this way. Next week, we discuss $$$, so fingers crossed on that!

Still feel like sh!t - how long until I feel normal again?


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

There is no timescale, so don't go beating yourself up about not being 'normal'

We're all crazy here.
bat***t crazy.


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