# Should children be taught that porn is not real?



## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

Subject asks it all but the article is here, BBC News - Should children be taught that porn is not real?

Not a parent so my reaction is , I don't think I could cope.


----------



## fianceofangler (Oct 7, 2012)

My first reaction was Germany and their publicly funded TV. None of the kids I babysat for there EVER watched TV so it would not be an issue in children. The public porn by 14 was never brought up by teenagers for obvious reasons.

That country has high marks in education and I feel that in some places they are not as careless or indulgent as here.


----------



## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

Of course they should because most of it is not real.
I have teenage boys, I know they've looked at online porn and I've told them the truth about it. 
You usually find if you're open with you're kids about this stuff it takes the thrill away a bit. 
I also talk to them about love and relationships and his to respect women and treat their girlfriends with respect and kindness.
It's about looking at the whole package really.
My H isn't into porn, we watch a bit together very rarely and he occasionally dabbles, so I'm hoping it won't be an issue for my boys.
I'm not sure if this should be a school related issue!
My 11,year old daughter has just been doing drug awareness in school. She knows the name of more illegal drugs now than I do. It's made her curious. Is that a good thing? I don't know. She never knew anything about drugs before!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Airbus (Feb 8, 2012)

Not real in what sense? The plastification of the actors? Because the rest (graphic sex scenes) looks pretty real to me.


----------



## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

I think that it would be a good idea to "throw that in" when talking to your kids about sex.


----------



## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

F-102 said:


> I think that it would be a good idea to "throw that in" when talking to your kids about sex.


I agree....but not quite sure how I could phrase that. 








_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## underwater2010 (Jun 27, 2012)

I think is needs to be an age appropriate conversation, usually based around the childs actions. I am brutally honest with my 13 yr old daughter, as my husband is with the 10 yr old boy. Sex is not a taboo topic in our house.

My favorite response to sex "4 out of 5 guys will say I love you to get in your pants." It was confirmed by my husband.


----------



## Memento (Aug 23, 2012)

underwater2010 said:


> I think is needs to be an age appropriate conversation, usually based around the childs actions. I am brutally honest with my 13 yr old daughter, as my husband is with the 10 yr old boy. Sex is not a taboo topic in our house.
> 
> My favorite response to sex "4 out of 5 guys will say I love you to get in your pants." It was confirmed by my husband.


You are so right! People need to start being realistic and having important conversations with their children!!

I was in shock the other day! While I was watching my stepson football practice one of his colleagues was bragging about bj's. He is 12/13!!!

I think some fathers would feel proud of their son. But how about if it was their daughter engaging in this stuff at the tender age of 12/13!?


----------



## underwater2010 (Jun 27, 2012)

Or how about the fact that I thank god everyday that my daughter is a base in cheerleading and not a flyer. My husband has had 13 yr old boys point out the fact that they can see up the flyer's skirts during a heel stretch. Also we have had pregnant 12 yr olds out here. And they do not teach sex ed. We cannot bury our heads in the sand.

When my daughter was 10 she started her period. I came home with pad, chocolate and told her she could now get pregnant and how it works. Her response was EWWW! I told her when she got a little older and started making out things start feeling good and it could be hard to stop.

We have also talked about female birth control and condoms. Of course how condoms don't prevent all STDs because the live on the skin or pubic hairs. She also attended the birth of my one yr old. Combined that with dealing with the newborn, she is scared straight.


----------



## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

> I think some fathers would feel proud of their son. But how about if it was their daughter engaging in this stuff at the tender age of 12/13!?


They would never know...

I'm a teacher. I teach natural sciences and biology. I hear stories almost every day. I't my belief parents would be horrified if they listened to half of it.


----------



## underwater2010 (Jun 27, 2012)

Memento said:


> You are so right! People need to start being realistic and having important conversations with their children!!
> 
> I was in shock the other day! While I was watching my stepson football practice one of his colleagues was bragging about bj's. He is 12/13!!!
> 
> I think some fathers would feel proud of their son. But how about if it was their daughter engaging in this stuff at the tender age of 12/13!?


The sad part is that it is someone's daughter participating in BJs at that age.


----------



## fianceofangler (Oct 7, 2012)

I was 14 my brother was 17 and I walked into a room my mom was in during a party. She was complaining to her friends about something. She did not notice me enter the room . She was complaining to her friends that my dad has not yet talked to my brother about how to put on a condom properly.

When she realized I was there it was awkward. She laughed moments later, nervously I think.

Fast forward when I was 23. She found a condom in my purse and called me a wh***. She was infuriated and looking me in the eye.No laughing.


----------



## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

I've talked to my daughter (age 13.5) about body image (hers is good - whew!), what some girls will do for attention, how sex should be special with someone who cares. We talk about BC and the way a baby changes your life. About teen drinking, date rape, abuse. We also talked about safe sex, STDs and penis size.

She rolls her eyes and laughs but she will ask anything. A boy sent her a pic of his "rod" as he called it. we discussed pictures, internet safety, how pics never go away... she deleted it and I said if she got another we'd report it. I texted him from her phone said it was her mother and not to send anymore. He's embarrassed to talk to her now. We talk about teasing boys, reputations, how being a tease is mean, and about blue balls.

And because one boy told her he had a big PlayBoy collection we got into porn. How the images are airbrushed and the standards are near impossible - just like with clothing models and non-porn magazines, everything is made to look falsely perfect. And that boys at this age pretty much think sex 24/7.

We haven't talked about video porn. It hasn't come up yet but I'm sure it will. I'm REALLY glad I answer the awkward and uncomfortable questions as soon as they started around age 5 (what's a willy, etc.) because now it's just normal for her to ask about something she hears about. It can still be awkward but I'm always honest.


----------



## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

underwater2010 said:


> The sad part is that it is someone's daughter participating in BJs at that age.


What's really sad is that that boy is GETTING those BJ's, too. But, then again, he's a boy, and the old maxim "those who talk about it the most do it the least" may very well apply here.

But in answer to others' question about how to "throw it in", I might get into it like:

"Now, somewhere down the line, you will have experience with watching porn, heck, I've watched it too, but the important thing to remember is that they are professional actors, being paid to act out a FANTASY..."


----------



## ARF (Jan 26, 2011)

Although I plan to teach my children about the realism and pitfalls of pornography, I cringe that a Teachers Association is wanting to do it in schools.

Don't get me wrong, I am not opposed to sex ed taught in the schools provided parents receive a heads up on what will be discussed, so they have an opportunity to prep their children and/or reaffirm their particular values.


----------



## TheCrunch (Sep 3, 2012)

Good question - unfortunately the answer has to be yes in this day and age - link below suggests how to approach the subject for those who find it somewhat daunting.

Are you comfortable with talking to your children/teenagers about Porn?


----------



## forevermemorable (Oct 19, 2012)

I just felt a week ago to bring this very topic up for the first time with my 10 year son. I told him that there are many girls out there that get naked and pictures are taken of their naked bodies and placed into magazines and the internet. I told him that they do it for fun and money.

And from a Christian standpoint with morals and values, I told my son that pornography is wrong and against God. I told him that we as guys should not take part in looking at a women naked. Of course, my son then asks the question about looking at his 2 year old brother naked. I told my son, there was nothing wrong with that. I then proceeded to tell him that naked women and naked men is wrong to look at under any circumstances.

I then asked my son, "When do you think it is okay to look at a lady naked?" My son replied, "When you are married?" "Exactly," I told him. My son is really innocent and my wife and I shield him from PG-13 & R films and we never watch TV in our home. I think its awesome to have my children innocent, because they shouldn't become adults at a young age. Never the less, I believe in introducing these concepts little by little, ingraining very carefully and gingerly.


----------



## SelfTweaks (Nov 11, 2012)

This is a very real issue and unfortunately you will not be able to get a standardized answer because not only is each child different, but parents also feel differently about this issue.

Keep in mind that porn is a media outlet that is designed to make money and is designed for a specific audience - men, because they are visually stimulated. So the scenes are overly exaggerated with big boobs, excessively loud women, outlandish sexual positions, and graphic penetration scenes that seem to last forever. In this sense, porn is not real, because we all know that is not an accurate portrayal of real sex.

By the same token, porn is real in the sense of the 'actors' actually performing the acts. Take pro wrestling for instance. Although the matches are choreographed, the 'wrestlers' are real athletes and it takes real skill to learn and master how to execute the moves. That's the reality of porn.

Each child is different and so is their stage of development. It is up to the parents to decide how they feel about porn and their position on its effects, and teach their child accordingly.


----------



## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

It is real. Its real people in front of a camera with real people behind the cameras etc. They are really naked when you watch porn. And they are really doing those things you see. 

Parents will more than likely favor according to what their own beliefs are. If they love porn themselves and see nothing wrong with it, then they will more than likely have no problems with their kids watching it once they are older. If parents are against it, then thats what they will teach their kids. Bottom line once kids are grown they will need to make their own way in life regarding their own feelings on the issue.


----------



## Broken at 20 (Sep 25, 2012)

Depends on the porn. 

Maybe getting a little technical here, but I bet the amateur stuff is real. Or mostly real. 

Now the professionals, that is obviously different. They have implants, and makeup, and someone editing the film to make them all look perfect. And it is directed. And done over a period of several days...
Now, the acts are real. 
People that look like those porn stars, thin, tall, bodies that are out of proportion, That does NOT exist.


----------



## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

Some of the people in porn, their bodies are not real, they are indeed fake, but what they are doing is real. As far as what you teach your kids, well they usually follow by example.


----------



## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

It should be discussed that the sex in porn is an unrealistic depiction of "loving" sex, for the most part. Same as drug use and violence in movies... In other words, there's lots of unrealistic and unhealthy messages coming to all of us in the media. We need to have the tools to determine what's right and wrong.

C


----------



## AgentD (Dec 27, 2010)

Children should be taught many things. One of the things is right from wrong, then hope that when they are grown they make the right decisions in their life. Children learn by parents leading by example.


----------



## TheCrunch (Sep 3, 2012)

I'm just thinking that my own parents never taught me anything about porn so without saying a word they somehow led by example and I believe I know what is real/unreal. 

However, back in the day you would have had to go out looking for porn. Nowadays it's thrust in your face (pardon the expression!) to some degree and people (including kids) cannot avoid coming across it I would say.


----------

