# How Do You Ask Your Wife to have a Girlfriend?



## RunFromYourWife (Feb 14, 2013)

Here is the deal. If your wife is getting all she desires out of the marriage emotionally, financially, and physically, yet you are left unsatisfied sexually...is it okay to ask your wife for a girlfriend? 

She only wants to have sex maybe 1 or 2 times a week, which isn't enough for me. I wouldn't cheat or betray her confidence and trust. At the same time I don't want her to feel inadequate. The issue has come up before about the lack of sexual contact in our relationship and she ends up just forcing it and it is OBVIOUS when it feels more like a ~chore~ to your partner. That then doesn't really feel good to me because I want someone to actually ~want~ me just as much as I want them. When the other person actually wants you, the kiss, the feeling of sex, and every touch feels completely different than when sexual favor is done out of mere feelings of obligation. When this happens I often don't even reach climax.

Suggestions please...


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## flipflops (Feb 11, 2013)

Are you freakin' serious?


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

How about just divorce your wife, then go out here and do what ever you want. You want to be a cake eater, and doesn't work that way.


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

No it's not OK to risk your relationship and cheat on your marriage. You could bring so many complication, fall in love with the OW, she could fall in love with you, risk pregnancy, risk STDs, enjoy being with her more then your wife. 

What you do have to get to the bottom of is why is your wife's drive so low (some would say 2-3 times is quite sufficient, I prefer more myself too, so I get it). 

Do you discuss fantasies and flirt? 
How is the rest of your relationship?
Do you have children and if so how old?
Does your wife feel cherished, loved and desired by you?


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

RunFromYourWife said:


> Suggestions please...


Sex twice a week is adequate for most, you're going to have to find compromise on the frequency with any partner if you're looking for more.

Your point about your wife not really being into sex with you might be more of a reflection on you.

Have you asked her why she's not into it?

Can you think of anything you do that might make her less likely to enjoy sex with you?


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## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

*Re: Re: How Do You Ask Your Wife to have a Girlfriend?*



RunFromYourWife said:


> left unsatisfied sexually...is it okay to ask your wife for a girlfriend?
> ...



If you do, I would suggest having something substantially solid between the two of you, or distance and nothing for her to throw within reach....


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

You both have to find a middle ground for sexy time.

You have a HD and she has a LD.

She could have it 1x week and you want it most of the time.

Compromise, 3x every week, no excuses from her. She is supposed to take care of your needs as well as her own. If the sex isn't there, she isn't taking care of business in the bedroom.

Have a talk to her about it. Either she listens and changes or she doesn't.

Either relieve yourself or divorce her.

A 3 some in a marriage isn't what marriage standards for. Marriage is between husband and wife and not 3 or 4, etc. people, that's just an orgy. So, be single again, party, and when that's out of your system, find a woman that has a similar sex drive as yourself.

In most cases, 3, 4 some, etc. isn't good for the marriage.


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## whynotrightnow12 (Mar 30, 2013)

Have the two of you considered swinging with other couples for some added sex in the marriage?


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## wifeiam (Apr 1, 2013)

Divorce your wife and let her find happiness with someone who can be happy with sex twice weekly and be faithful to her. I'm sure there are many candiates out there. When/if you decide to get re-married then let that person know up front that if you aren't getting what you need from them that you want to be able to hook up with someone else. If they are okay with that then that is the right person for you.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

In another thread you mention you and your wife are "Recovering from an infidelity" in your relationship.

Maybe that's got something to do with your wife's disinterest in sex with you.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Sex needs being relative, still you twice a week simply doesn't leave you so lacking that you have any right to whine! Grow up and find ways to turn her on more frequently. You get that arousal starts in the brain 2-4 hours before you even take you clothes off, right?


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

For me, it doesn't take 2 - 4 hours to get in the mood, try 2 - 4 minutes.


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