# I dont know what to think...



## crazietj (Jan 12, 2011)

I'm lost. Monday we took our boys to movies and the park. She basicly sat on one end of the park and I sat at the other. Wednesday we went out to eat, had a good time, then took them.to the same park. This time.the kids.where playing tag, and she got in on it, then tagged me...we where like 2 high school kids running around chasing each other. Thursday was a bad day with the life, they just where not getting along. She didn't say more that 2 words to me. Today she went to work, and I went to my families fore.the night and took the boys. I got on our phone records and she had been Texting someone all day long, like one right after another. Well after a little research I found out its one she works with. Well about 830 my neighbour called and told.me the garage door was up at our house. I'm 3 hours away, she should be off work and home. I call and she's at a bar. She was all crappy with me and short when she answered. I told her about the door. And she said she was heading home in a few. I told her to let me know what was going on. About an hour passes I call again and she said everything was fine...so I start to talk about us, now that I see there is someone else trying to move in on her, I feel I don't want to let her go. And I break down with ok sorry, and please give me another chance, and the I know what I did wrong. But then I said look at what our kids are going through. She didn't say anything. I ask her to just give me one more chance, for the kids sake, and she told.me.she has given me plenty of them...I know actions speak louder than words, but she doesn't even notice what our kids are going through. I did tell.her I signed up for marriage counseling, and if she want to go she can. I told her that I don't care how much it cost, or if people think its a waste of time. I told her that our marriage and my believes mean more to me, and I will fight for.them.at any cost....she then just told.me.she need.to get to bed....and that was it.....


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I think your wife has stepped out of the marriage and as long as you begg and plead with her you empower her to take her time and give her no real consequence for her behavior.

You have totaly given her the perseption that you will tolorate this behavior. where on the other hand you should have scoldeed her, telling her she is irresponsable and who ever she is with should take her home for good b/c you are comeing home with the kids and until her behaviors changes and she can recommit to the marriage it will be her that will find her self several hours away from the marital home and her kids.

As you can see I'm in the crowd of tough love b/c it worked for me when I confronted my cheating wife. Once you toughen up and stop saying sorry you will find that you will start to get alittle respect. they don't like at first, but it gets to a point when you hpoe for the best but prepare for the worse. Giving your wife the perception that you will succeed with or with out her. showing the confidence that you are changing not for her but for your self and the next relationship if she chooses to move on.

I strongly suggest you move back home. It sounded like you moved out while your wife continues to party. Stop making this easy for her. Show her a man changing for the better through a confident additude and man who is not sorry for her unhealthy behavior.

I have seen first hand when a spouse makes the changes for them self and focuses on being a better person for them self and not for no one else, the wayward spouse seems to second guess there dicisions.

Stop telling her about the changes you want to make by calling her all the time , but show her by distancing your self and work on you 1st. Once you are in a better place and feel good about you then you can work on the marriage. Who knows you might find yout new self better with out her, but any rate work on you and the rest will follow.


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## MyTwoGirls (May 31, 2011)

'Once you toughen up and stop saying sorry you will find that you will start to get alittle respect. they don't like at first, but it gets to a point when you hpoe for the best but prepare for the worse.'..that is a good point but the only trouble is that the 'worst' is usually the outcome...she had left you way before letting you know for whatever reasons you may or may not know...


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