# Is he going to harm himself?



## ImperfectMomma (May 2, 2012)

My H found out that I was seeing a lawyer today for an initial consultation to file for divorce. I had warned him that I was.going to. I told him never to cheat on me again because I wouldn't be able to trust him again. He apparently didn't believe me and thought I wouldn't go through with it. He came home and kissed the kids and told them he loved them and left. I thought it was odd and then realized....he took the gun. I called a few friends to look for him, dropped the kids off at my cousins house and took off for the one place I thought he'd go. I beat him there and got the gun back but needless to say, I'm scared. He asked for it back and I told him no. He has been crying all day long and won't talk to except to tell me he wants to be left alone. He also punched the windshield of the car 3 times and spiderwebbed it so now it needs replaced. I still love him and I'm worried. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

You need to protect yourself and your kids NOW! I know you love him, but right now, there's NO telling what he would/could and can do. See if his parents or some really good friends of his can stay and watch him...to protect him and you guys.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

He will most likely not hurt himself. 

Generally if he makes a show of their supposed intended suicide, it's to get you attention and guilt you into staying. If he was going to kill himself he would have done it with no fan fare. For example he would have gone somewhere that you would not have guessed to do it.


It is good that you got the gun so that he did not accidently do something stupid.


He sounds utterly out of control. It will be hard but ignore him and his antics.

From here on out treat him according to the 180. See the link in my signture block below.


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## ImperfectMomma (May 2, 2012)

Actually, he didn't make a show of it at all and he wouldn't tell me where he was going...I just know him that well.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> He will most likely not hurt himself.
> 
> Generally if he makes a show of their supposed intended suicide, it's to get you attention and guilt you into staying. If he was going to kill himself he would have done it with no fan fare. For example he would have gone somewhere that you would not have guessed to do it.
> 
> ...


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

ImperfectMomma said:


> Actually, he didn't make a show of it at all and he wouldn't tell me where he was going...I just know him that well.


You are not seeing clearly. He did make a show of it....

He took something very obvious ... a gun. He knew you would check for that.


While he did not tell you where he was going, he went to a place where he knew you would look for him.

If he was going to kill himself he would have done it before you got there.


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## Dan Carruthers (Jul 14, 2012)

ImperfectMomma said:


> Actually, he didn't make a show of it at all and he wouldn't tell me where he was going...I just know him that well.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Most likely, he might do it, you know him better as you say.seems 

he is a fickle minded one on all things...but he has to stop his cheating spree..!!


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## ImperfectMomma (May 2, 2012)

Elegirl, i know exactly what you mean. Generally when someone is suicidal they make sure no one knows so that they can't stop them compared to people that want to be stopped who make sure it's known because it's for attention. I understand that. I never saw the gun. Nothing was out of place. The only thing that set me off was that he went around and kissed each child and told them he loved them. He doesn't normally do that. I thought for a minute and jumped up and ran to check where we keep the gun and it was gone. I got to where he was going before he did and waited. It's the only place I could think of that he would go and he wasn't happy to see me. I told him that if he gave me the gun i would leave him alone and I did. I feel so sad that it's all hitting him now, his life is destroyed but I begged him to stop. Begged him to fix our marriage and he wouldn't. I qlways thought we were truly meant to be together and now I don't know who this person is. My heart just breaks.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Frostflower (Jul 22, 2012)

ImperfectMomma said:


> Elegirl, i know exactly what you mean. Generally when someone is suicidal they make sure no one knows so that they can't stop them compared to people that want to be stopped who make sure it's known because it's for attention. I understand that. I never saw the gun. Nothing was out of place. The only thing that set me off was that he went around and kissed each child and told them he loved them. He doesn't normally do that. I thought for a minute and jumped up and ran to check where we keep the gun and it was gone. I got to where he was going before he did and waited. It's the only place I could think of that he would go and he wasn't happy to see me. I told him that if he gave me the gun i would leave him alone and I did. I feel so sad that it's all hitting him now, his life is destroyed but I begged him to stop. Begged him to fix our marriage and he wouldn't. I qlways thought we were truly meant to be together and now I don't know who this person is. My heart just breaks.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Don't ever assume someone won't do it. It could bethe biggest mistake you'll ever make.

What concerns me is that you went after him. He had a gun and you could not really know what he might have done in his state of mind. You put yourself in danger. Should iit happen again, call the police. They know how to handle situations like that.

In fact, you should call them anyway. Let them know what has happened. Tell them you are worried about what he might do, and whether you believe it or not, tell them you are worried about your safety and your children's. 

DO NOT take any chances.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Frostflower said:


> Don't ever assume someone won't do it. It could bethe biggest mistake you'll ever make.
> 
> What concerns me is that you went after him. He had a gun and you could not really know what he might have done in his state of mind. You put yourself in danger. Should iit happen again, call the police. They know how to handle situations like that.
> 
> ...


A valid point of view.....

It brings to mind something else.

If he thinks his life is over he could decide to take others with him. We see this all the time on the news. Get the weapon out of the house. Maybe store it at a family members?


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## kindi (Apr 28, 2012)

So many posts with bad advice.

"He won't do it because he made a show of it".

What a bunch of BS

Anyway, if he's going to off himself, there's nothing you can do to stop him, you can't stay with him just for his own good.

I'd see about getting an Order of Protection and keep your eyes wide open.

If you do nothing else, make sure you put the gun (and any others) in a safe place where he can't find it.


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## Kurosity (Dec 22, 2011)

Take it seriously. Get off TAM and call the authorities right away to report it. It does not matter if there is a show or not. There have been many people out there that have tried to tell or show others their desperation for help and no one acted and they ended up taking their life.
If he does harm him self it is not your fault, you did not cause it. Just report it and get the guns out and locks changed asap.


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