# Do I have a right to be angry over such a lie?



## qdobajoe (Jun 14, 2009)

We are a newlywed couple. We have been married for about 2 months now. Here is the situation: we live in a condo and when we got married I told my wife I wanted to cancel the cleaning crew we get in our place every other week. She agreed. Anyway, the other day I come to find out that she in fact did not fire the cleaning crew and the reason I found out they came and cleaned was because the whole house was vacuumed so I called my wife out on it and she confessed. Here is what really irks me, a few days prior to this she was complaining that she is always paying for everything. We have joint accounts but what we do is this....one week she pays to go out to eat, etc. and one week I pay. My wife has been complaining that she has been the one paying for a number of weeks straight. Anyway, I questioned her....if you can not afford to pay for us to go out to eat, etc. than how can you afford to have a cleaning crew come and clean our house every other week. She confessed that her mother is paying for the cleaning crew. Do you see this as a major issue? Should I really be upset? How should I handle such a thing? I told her that because she went behind my back and kept the cleaning crew, I am going to buy a 42" flat screen. Any advice?


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## NothingMan (Jul 16, 2009)

I dont think it's a major issue. A small issue to be sure and something you definately want to explain to her that your not entirely ok with...but in the grand scheme of a marriage...small potato's.

Don't sweat the small stuff.


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## 1nurse (Jan 21, 2009)

Hopefully this isn't the start of bigger things to come. You are married now, a team. Decisions should be made as such. I wouldn't make a huge deal but let her know in future you want to be kept informed and be able to make decisions as an equal partner in your marriage.


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## MsStacy (Nov 11, 2008)

I would have a problem that she lied about it. Or that she "lead you to believe" the cleaners were let go. She was purposely deceptive and THAT would be my problem. Second, her mother doesn't have any business taking part in your domestic affairs...that's between you and the wife...household, finances, etc. If the mother wants to give a gift, that's one thing, but doing it all behind your back is wrong. 

If the mother wants to pay for a cleaning crew.....I'll give her my phone number


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

Stop mom meddling, that's a serious boundary issue.

She was wrong for lying to you, she should apologize.

Buying a 42" TV screen as revenge is LMAO childish, and you should apologize for threatening it.

Plan: If you have money for for 42" screen, you have money for a quality vaccuum cleaner. Go buy one. Use it periodically. Wives tend to like household assistance, and it's pretty hard to mess up the vaccuuming as opposed to the laundry.


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## NothingMan (Jul 16, 2009)

Atholk said:


> Stop mom meddling, that's a serious boundary issue.
> 
> She was wrong for lying to you, she should apologize.
> 
> ...


LoL, dont be a n00b. Helping with household crap isnt going to get you what you want. In fact, after it has zero affect on her at all, it will just build your resentment. Go get the TV, porn looks better on a nice TV.



John


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## srena200 (Jul 13, 2009)

atholk is right. does you wife have a job? I cannot tell from your post but if she does let her pay for the cleaners. If you want a 42" TV discuss it first and see if you NEED one versus WANT one. That fact that she lied is not even the issue here - it seems to be money. Clean up your own house and put that unspent money in a money market account and save it for something you NEED.


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## GPR (Jan 3, 2009)

This OP hasn't replied to this thread for a while, but I will point out that it's funny that he's on here complaining about canceling the cleaning service because it cost to much, but then started another thread about wanting to use wedding money to buy "toys" and his wife being upset about it. He used the flat screen threat in that thread too.


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