# I have been so wrong



## madaboutlove (Aug 28, 2011)

I listened to what everyone wanted, telling me H should be pushed to get a D if that is what he said he wanted. Telling me to make him leave the house, sign D papers, schedule mediation, etc. Turns out, H most likely needed this break so that I could catch onto what was happening. I have been bossy, demanding, defensive and didn't ever let him take care of me or feel needed in the relationship. I had to be served to get it. I am going to make myself available to him. I am going to let him guide what we do. We are helping one of our kids through a difficult time and I am going to take direction from H. I will wait a year if I need to.


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## SugaFoot (Oct 15, 2011)

Listening to what anyone says isn't wrong, but acting on their choices is. I believe people can offer advice, encouragement, etc. but you have to be willing to make the final decision. It's always good to get objective opinions and then you personally weigh the good and bad and go from there. If it took getting served with D papers that will enhance a healthy and maturing marriage so be it. I just hope that you are not taking the labels he has placed on you and letting them change who you are. If you are the dominant one playing passive could possibly make you hate who you are, BUT if you are overly dominant i can see your stance at letting him take the lead. The 2 of you should be Helpmates to one another. I wish you peace and happiness in the journey and if you two can make it work by all means do that!!!!!!!!


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## madaboutlove (Aug 28, 2011)

Suga, thanks for the feedback. I am learning much through this experience, including learning how to sift through lots of information and make my own decision. The way I was, I wasn't making decisions, my history was making them for me. I believe we could have a health marriage, just hope we can hang in there long enough to hold onto it. So much history, kids, families and plans for the future...


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