# The Honeymoon Period. How long did it last? What caused it to end?



## happybut... (Dec 28, 2014)

I am curious to hear how long people's honeymoon period lasted in their last serious relationship and what caused that stage of the relationship to end? Did you manage to transition to the next stage or was that the end of the relationship?

And by honeymoon period, I mean incredible sex, feeling giddy, feeling madly in love and thinking your partner might well be 'the one'.


----------



## lordfire00 (Jun 28, 2014)

For my wife and i, the constant sex started declining a few months after we got married...everything else stayed the same for years. For me, it has never ended. I still love my wife the way i did from the begining...but in her eyes, everything has changed. It just depends on u and ur partner. U have to talk with each other alot about how u feel, and try to understand and need to compromise


----------



## lordfire00 (Jun 28, 2014)

This march will be 15yrs that my wife and i have been married.


----------



## happybut... (Dec 28, 2014)

lordfire00 said:


> This march will be 15yrs that my wife and i have been married.


Congratulations! That's wonderful. :smthumbup:


----------



## HisPresence (Dec 13, 2014)

I guess the answer to the quesion is all depend on the individual couples. I can only speak for my own experience. Nice thread btw OP

I know my boyfriend for 4 years total, friends prior to dating. And we are in a relationship for over a year now. And he still find himself flirting with me, eventhough he already started his flirts back then 4 years ago when we first meet.

I always thought that men flirt with girls to get sex. And after they have all the sex they wants, the flirts would dries out right? Nope, my boyfriend prove me wrong, as until now he he still flirts with me. (after he already geting all the sex from me)
He still flirts, still the same stares, still the same way he looks at me, still the same smile. Still the same helpful nice guy who help carried my grocceries.

If ask me now, do I still think he is "the one"? Yup, I still think he is, despite we just got into an argument last week. I'm 30 and he 29, and yup we still argue.
Does he feels he same? Pretty sure he does or else he wouldn't still be with me.

I'm going to follow this thread to learn from others how they transition to the next stage once the passion dies out. As myself don't have much dating experience. 
What if one day my BF run out of love for me? Well, I guess that will be the end to our relationship because all the years knowing him, he is the persistent one. And I'm the one that still working on giving him 100% of my "emotional" side.


----------



## Cobalt (Nov 16, 2014)

When the kids were toddlers.


----------



## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

happybut... said:


> I am curious to hear how long people's honeymoon period lasted in their last serious relationship and what caused that stage of the relationship to end?


My husband and I dated 18 months before we married. The passionate, hot-burning sex diminished when I said, "I do." Go figure. Apparently the thrill of the hunt kept his engine revving far more than capturing the prey.

However, we still had times when the sex was good. But it was never the same as when we were engaged. 



happybut... said:


> And by honeymoon period, I mean incredible sex, feeling giddy, feeling madly in love and thinking your partner might well be 'the one'.


What you term the "honeymoon period" I would qualify as lust; nothing more, nothing less. And if this is all you have pre-marriage, be in store for a bumpy ride. 

I'm all for hot, sweaty, jungle sex. But having sex that sets the mattress on fire and has one or both partners daydreaming at work as to when they can rip off each others clothes off again .... well, it doesn't qualify as making either partner "the one." 

JMO.


----------



## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

I'm still in my last serious relationship; we've been together for almost 15 years.

I just asked my wife if we ever really had a honeymoon period that ended.

She said: "Over there years there just seems to be a greater appreciation, a deeper love, continuing to just get to know each other. We knew each other before we got together so when we got together we already knew so much about each other, but we still keep learning. So, uh, no I don't think we ever had one that's ended".

I agree. We've had lows, but far more highs, and still in love. In fact just yesterday we were just grocery shopping and I had such a powerful, sweet surging of just being IN love with her. When we got back to the house, before we opened the door, I said "You know, I just love you so damn much".

And the sex is still incredible. It's never been bad. But if there's a dip it doesn't have anything to do with how we feel about each other. It's usually because one of us isn't feeling the best about ourselves.


----------



## Cobalt (Nov 16, 2014)

jaquen said:


> I'm still in my last serious relationship; we've been together for almost 15 years.
> 
> I just asked my wife if we ever really had a honeymoon period that ended.
> 
> ...


----------



## happybut... (Dec 28, 2014)

jaquen said:


> I'm still in my last serious relationship; we've been together for almost 15 years.
> 
> I just asked my wife if we ever really had a honeymoon period that ended.
> 
> ...


This was beautiful to read. What an amazing friendship/loveship you have forged. I will read this over again soon to remind myself such romances exist. Thank you for sharing.


----------



## Cobalt (Nov 16, 2014)

Jacquen has a perfect marriage. That's why he's on here.


----------



## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Cobalt said:


> Jacquen has a perfect marriage. That's why he's on here.


----------



## Cobalt (Nov 16, 2014)

jaquen said:


>


:lol:

I'm happy....even in my ****ed up situation! 

Did you come on here with marriage problems and then resolve them?


----------



## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Cobalt said:


> Did you come on here with marriage problems and then resolve them?


Nope, not at all. I came here because I enjoy, well, talking about marriage (and relationships and whatever). I had no idea when I first came here that most people here are in troubled marriages.


----------



## happybut... (Dec 28, 2014)

Cobalt said:


> When the kids were toddlers.


I've been through that myself. I don't know the ins and outs of your situation but it can be very difficult on a marriage and the 'romance' when you have young children. I had 3 under 5 and that was not easy.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

We're at 11 years, married 5, and still in the honeymoon. The funny thing is, our relationship actually has some serious built in problems in it...yet they do not affect our romantic love or sex life. 

Some caveats though...this is a 2nd marriage for both of us, so at the time we picked each other, we both had a lot more self-awareness. Also, we have no kids at home and never will. (yeeeee haw!!!!) I have adult kids who are wonderfully on their own and thriving.

So we do not have some of the problems younger, first time married couples have. Also we've both had the opportunity to sexually shop around some, so that we both really know how compatible we are sexually.


----------



## Cobalt (Nov 16, 2014)

jaquen said:


> Nope, not at all. I came here because I enjoy, well, talking about marriage (and relationships and whatever). I had no idea when I first came here that most people here are in troubled marriages.


surprise!


----------



## Cobalt (Nov 16, 2014)

happybut... said:


> I've been through that myself. I don't know the ins and outs of your situation but it can be very difficult on a marriage and the 'romance' when you have young children. I had 3 under 5 and that was not easy.


our kids are teenagers now. 

3 of them must have been tough!


----------



## happybut... (Dec 28, 2014)

Cobalt said:


> our kids are teenagers now.
> 
> 3 of them must have been tough!


It still is being a single Mom! Though they are no longer under 5. But it's worth every minute of course.


----------



## Cobalt (Nov 16, 2014)

happybut... said:


> It still is being a single Mom! Though they are no longer under 5. But it's worth every minute of course.


As a single Mom too? Respect!


----------



## happybut... (Dec 28, 2014)

Faithful Wife said:


> We're at 11 years, married 5, and still in the honeymoon. The funny thing is, our relationship actually has some serious built in problems in it...yet they do not affect our romantic love or sex life.
> 
> Some caveats though...this is a 2nd marriage for both of us, so at the time we picked each other, we both had a lot more self-awareness. Also, we have no kids at home and never will. (yeeeee haw!!!!) I have adult kids who are wonderfully on their own and thriving.
> 
> So we do not have some of the problems younger, first time married couples have. Also we've both had the opportunity to sexually shop around some, so that we both really know how compatible we are sexually.



Do you genuinely still have those giddy highs and butterflies? I do think it's a lot easier to keep the passion and romance alive when there are either 'no kids' or they've left home lol!! I have to say, I love my munchkins but it's not always easy balancing my dating life / love life with my domestic/family life, though I do somehow manage. 

That said, I've never had that honeymoon period last 11 years even when foot loose and fancy free with no kids. That's quite something!! :smthumbup:


----------



## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Going on 10 years here....and it's still a honeymoon. 

We flirt....alot. We talk... alot. We have ridiculously awesome sex....alot. 

And we knock on wood....alot. 

But it's like Faithful Wife said... 2nd marriage, grown children (all 20 something now) who blended beautifully, know what we want, know how to appreciate our spouse, agree on so many things.... It's different now than it would have been (and was) the first time around in our younger days.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

happybut... said:


> *Do you genuinely still have those giddy highs and butterflies?* I do think it's a lot easier to keep the passion and romance alive when there are either 'no kids' or they've left home lol!! I have to say, I love my munchkins but it's not always easy balancing my dating life / love life with my domestic/family life, though I do somehow manage.
> 
> That said, I've never had that honeymoon period last 11 years even when foot loose and fancy free with no kids. That's quite something!! :smthumbup:



Yes, still have the giddy highs and butterflies. I don't know why...I don't know if we are just lucky or if we are creating this dynamic with our constant play and flirting. We both have a very high degree of straight up physical and sexual attraction for each other which hasn't changed at all (has actually increased over time). Maybe we are just some kind of pheromonal match made in heaven? It would be interesting if they could test that sort of thing, in couples who have long term feelings like we do...my guess is that the actions we are doing are somehow creating the continued hormonal/pheromonal production of "courtship" behaviors, which have a lot to do with our sexual behaviors. Maybe we're just constantly stirring it up? In fact, he has a thing he does which he claims is "stirring" me up sexually...all I know is it works.


----------



## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Faithful Wife said:


> Yes, still have the giddy highs and butterflies. I don't know why...I don't know if we are just lucky or if we are creating this dynamic with our constant play and flirting. We both have a very high degree of straight up physical and sexual attraction for each other which hasn't changed at all (has actually increased over time). Maybe we are just some kind of pheromonal match made in heaven? It would be interesting if they could test that sort of thing, in couples who have long term feelings like we do...my guess is that the actions we are doing are somehow creating the continued hormonal/pheromonal production of "courtship" behaviors, which have a lot to do with our sexual behaviors. Maybe we're just constantly stirring it up? In fact, he has a thing he does which he claims is "stirring" me up sexually...all I know is it works.


Exactly. That is what we say too. Every day is sexy and intimate, everything is transparent, every day is continued "courtship". It's not that its all about the sex.... there is a connection that we share, seems to come down to openness and honesty, about everything. No fear of talking, nothing off the table for discussion, nothing we can't share. 

To be honest, I didn't know "this" existed. And I didn't trust it at first, when we were dating. And I was grown, in my 40's. It's not like a fairy tale or anything, but just a grown up, mature meeting of the minds. Kismet? Karma? Luck?


----------



## vms (Dec 17, 2014)

With my first marriage... a few months, as I became pregnant just a few months after we started dating. Pregnancy hormones took over then. 

With this marriage, I'd say a year-ish. 

Hard for me to judge, I guess, as I never felt "giddy" with anyone. Happy, great sex, butterflies, sure, but not romance novel/love song levels. And I've always had a high sex drive, it never tapered much as a relationship went on. I've known my husband 4+ years and we still have a great sex life.


----------



## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

we got married without the honeymoon phase... 
no limerance for us for the first couple of years. 

we had to build to that, and once it hit, it never really went away. i still think about her all the time, still always want to reach out to her, text her...
lots of really good sex... 


my marriage is fantastic. it started out miserable though.


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

jaquen said:


> I'm still in my last serious relationship; we've been together for almost 15 years.
> 
> I just asked my wife if we ever really had a honeymoon period that ended.
> 
> ...


We could - and do! - say the very same thing. We are at 15 years together this month, still madly in love, and the sex is better than ever, even if it is only about 7x a week now. (Second marriage for us both.)


----------



## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

happybut... said:


> I am curious to hear how long people's honeymoon period lasted in their last serious relationship and what caused that stage of the relationship to end? Did you manage to transition to the next stage or was that the end of the relationship?
> 
> And by honeymoon period, I mean incredible sex, feeling giddy, feeling madly in love and thinking your partner might well be 'the one'.


Interestingly and strangely, we did not really have that "honeymoon" period. Sex was never really that good. I think we were either both too inexperienced and shy to push the envelope of great sex. Our "honeymoon" started about 2 years ago, 21 years into our marriage. Go figure


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Last serious relationship - it lasted about 1 1/2-2 years. Probably closer to 2 years. What caused it to end is reality. It is inevitable.

The real relationship doesn't really start until about 2 years in.


----------



## HisPresence (Dec 13, 2014)

Jellybeans said:


> The real relationship doesn't really start until about 2 years in.


Does that count if my apartment and his apartment are two minutes walking distance from each others, knowing his family, and we were good friends prior to dating? 
Me and my BF prior to dating we see each others everyday, hang out together alot due to we live in the same neighborhood and we have mutual friends too. 

He already started flirting back then, but I keep give him mixed signals. When we started dating it just naturally click, we pretty much know each other life style due to the close distance. 
Dating didn't seem much difference for us since we're neighbors, just add in the sex, lol


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

HisPresence said:


> Does that count if my apartment and his apartment are two minutes walking distance from each others, knowing his family, and we were good friends prior to dating? l


It's not the same. The real meat of the relationship doesn't start until the blinders wear off and you've been Through Some Sh!t over a period of time.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Is that why they call you the Wounded Warrior?

:rofl:

I kid.


----------



## woundedwarrior (Dec 9, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Is that why they call you the Wounded Warrior?
> 
> :rofl:
> 
> I kid.


It's more because I'm repeatedly injured, but keep on fighting & the protective armor is getting thicker.


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

SunnyT said:


> Exactly. That is what we say too. Every day is sexy and intimate, everything is transparent, every day is continued "courtship". It's not that its all about the sex.... there is a connection that we share, seems to come down to openness and honesty, about everything. No fear of talking, nothing off the table for discussion, nothing we can't share.
> 
> To be honest, I didn't know "this" existed. And I didn't trust it at first, when we were dating. And I was grown, in my 40's. It's not like a fairy tale or anything, but just a grown up, mature meeting of the minds. Kismet? Karma? Luck?


What a beautiful thing to read.


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

I think we've transitioned back and forth and round again. Together 20 years. 

We are in a renewed place now and I absolutely get that giddy feeling for him, for us as a couple. We've had some compounded 'stress' the last few months and journeyed through it with a shared sense of humor, admiration and intimacy.

The excitement of travel and change can be bonding but it can also be fleeting. It's really about how we are with one another on a daily basis that establishes the foundation. There's both a comfort and giddiness to be discovered within that; to have each others back amidst the loving, flirting and romantic gestures. Perhaps it all just comes down to sharing intimacy, both physically and emotionally.


----------



## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

This thread is powerful, moving and important.

To see so many people elevating their relationships and partners, talking about long lasting honeymoon periods, renewed periods, even late starting periods, these things are so invigorating.

And rare. How often do you hear people state, as basically an inalienable fact, that all honeymoon periods end and that the "real" portion of relationships are marked by a decided lack of romance, that "in" love feeling, the amour we all crave. To see people expressing opposing views I think is more helpful, and inspiring, than we realize.


----------



## happybut... (Dec 28, 2014)

Jellybeans said:


> Last serious relationship - it lasted about 1 1/2-2 years. Probably closer to 2 years. What caused it to end is reality. It is inevitable.
> 
> The real relationship doesn't really start until about 2 years in.


A post I can relate to. And I agree with your final statement. I honestly thought the majority of responses would all reflect something similar to this, but it seems the majority of people, out of 38 responses, say their honeymoon period never really ended.

For me it always has ended, and thank god because I could not have lived my life on that initial high. I am on it right now with someone and although it's intoxicating and mind-blowingly addictive, I do prefer things, in the long run, when that stage transitions to a less chemically fueled state of mind. I feel slightly out of control during honeymoon stage; something I am not good at. And I personally appreciate and feel more 'safe' within the realms of a romantic environment that is slightly moe subdued. Sex, trust and love are deeply profound when you transition out of the high , but you are no longer coasting the crest of the wave where you feel permanently ecstatic and high. 

Anyways, these are all inspiring and beautiful responses. Thanks for sharing your stories.


----------



## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

happybut... said:


> A post I can relate to. And I agree with your final statement. I honestly thought the majority of responses would all reflect something similar to this, but it seems the majority of people, out of 38 responses, say their honeymoon period never really ended.


Just selection bias; those with exceptional stories are just going to be more likely to blare it than others. In my experience I'd say most of the long term relationships I know feature two people who are not in a honeymoon period anymore.



happybut... said:


> For me it always has ended, and thank god because I could not have lived my life on that initial high. I am on it right now with someone and although it's intoxicating and mind-blowingly addictive, I do prefer things, in the long run, when that stage transitions to a less chemically fueled state of mind. I feel slightly out of control during honeymoon stage; something I am not good at. And I personally appreciate and feel more 'safe' within the realms of a romantic environment that is slightly moe subdued. Sex, trust and love are deeply profound when you transition out of the high , but you are no longer coasting the crest of the wave where you feel permanently ecstatic and high.


This really resonates with me. I am a very deep feeler and am very in tune with that part of me, especially for a man, but I wouldn't want to ride the crest of that intensity 24/7. It really ebbs and flows for me and to an extent I can control it. I feel like that massive "in love" chemical high is always there, beneath the surface, but I'm pretty good at keeping it abated.

Where as my wife is far more prone to be floating in a sea of love, even wallowing in it, so she's far more in touch with the visceral nature of those feelings. She routinely misses me if I move to another room in the house! I personally prefer to keep a bit of distance between myself and that level of intensity, at least on a regular basis.


----------



## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

As'laDain said:


> we got married without the honeymoon phase...
> no limerance for us for the first couple of years.
> 
> we had to build to that, and once it hit, it never really went away. i still think about her all the time, still always want to reach out to her, text her...
> ...


I can't remember his name, but some marriage councelor once stated "the only real way to prepare for marriage is marriage".


----------



## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

The thing about honeymoon phase is that it should NEVER end. I think this is something that people forget about "honeymoon phase".

My never ended.....thus I have a successful marriage.

When and if the honeymoon phase ends and sparks are no longer there.....and that "excitement" feeling is gone......that's a sign of "you are not with the right person".


----------



## happybut... (Dec 28, 2014)

DoF said:


> The thing about honeymoon phase is that it should NEVER end. I think this is something that people forget about "honeymoon phase".
> 
> My never ended.....thus I have a successful marriage.
> 
> When and if the honeymoon phase ends and sparks are no longer there.....and that "excitement" feeling is gone......that's a sign of "you are not with the right person".


No I disagree. In fact the honeymoon stage can actually mask the real pitfalls and incompatablities within a relationship, hence why when it fades, sometimes a couple part ways because they both have removed their rose-color glasses and see the other for who they really are, not just how they make each other 'feel'.

If people transition past the chemically induced honeymoon phase, it means they enter into that stage where you really get to know one another on a deeper level, where trust, companionship, compassion, friendship, deep meaningful love and a genuine bond become the forefront of the relationship. 

Some people interpret the lessening of intensity to be a sign that the love between them is dimming when the truth is, most of the time, you are simply settling in. And as Jelly Beans rightly said, this is when the 'real' relationship begins. 

If you’re the kind of person who truly is only interested in powerfully emotional experiences (no judgment – that’s a completely valid thing to want), you really might start to lose interest once the all-consuming chemistry of a new relationship starts to subside. But if you and the person you’re dating are both sincerely interested in a real future together, the end of the honeymoon phase isn’t when the good stuff ends, it’s actually when it starts. And by no means does this development mean the sparks aren't they. They are there, sparks that start to gather more strength and heat because one is building a foundation whereby they become deep burning embers which a real long lasting fire can build upon.


----------



## Racer (Sep 24, 2009)

For us, it lasted about a year (and the year we were living together and engaged)...

What ended it? My wife got it in her head that sex was all I thought about or valued. She turned it from a good thing, an expression of desire and passion for her, into a bad thing. Since she has control issues, she saw my attempts to have sex with her as manipulation, arm twisting, and expectation of duty and obligation. So of coarse she extinguished her flame thinking that way.


----------



## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

happybut... said:


> No I disagree. In fact the honeymoon stage can actually mask the real pitfalls and incompatablities within a relationship, hence why when it fades, sometimes a couple do not make it because they both have removed their rose-color glasses and see the other for who they really are, not just how they make them 'feel'.


I know what honeymoon phase is and I agree with above.....not sure how your comment is related to mine.



happybut... said:


> If people transition past the chemically induced honeymoon phase, it means they enter into that stage where you really get to know one another on a deeper level, where trust, companionship, compassion, friendship, deep meaningful love and a genuine bond become the forefront of the relationship.


To ME, all of this should be happening in the first 2 years regardless....not AFTER Honeymoon phase.

You shouldn't wait.



happybut... said:


> Some people interpret the lessening of intensity to be a sign that the love between them is dimming when the truth is, most of the time, you are simply settling in. And as Jelly Beans rightly said, this is when the 'real' relationship begins.


This is true, but my points still stands. Sparks should still be flying after honeymoon phase.



happybut... said:


> If you’re the kind of person who truly is only interested in powerfully emotional experiences (no judgment – that’s a completely valid thing to want), you really might start to lose interest once the all-consuming chemistry of a new relationship starts to subside. But if you and the person you’re dating are both sincerely interested in a real future together, the end of the honeymoon phase isn’t when the good stuff ends, it’s actually when it starts. And by no means does this development mean the sparks aren't they. They are there, sparks that start to gather more strength and heat because one is building a foundation whereby they become deep burning embers which a real long lasting fire can build upon.


I guess I confused you with my post. In general, yes the honeymoon does end from "blindness" perspective and being able to look at reality etc.

What I was trying to say is from "connection"/spark perspective. That should remain.

If any feeling of love, spark or connection go away after 2 years....>WATCH OUT


----------



## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

What if you start without it? Maybe my wife and I have a unique perspective on things because we were not in love with each other when we got married. But, we are quite in love now. So, even if this "honeymoon" phase ends, we know exactly how to get it back.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Racer (Sep 24, 2009)

As'laDain said:


> What if you start without it? Maybe my wife and I have a unique perspective on things because we were not in love with each other when we got married. But, we are quite in love now. So, even if this "honeymoon" phase ends, we know exactly how to get it back.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That's fantastic. I hear some arranged marriages end up like that.

But some of us won't get it back. My wife sort of hid how traumatized she was sexually growing up and refuses to deal with it. Sex to her is 'different' and sort of a control thing. Basically you are doomed if she pursues and catches you... sex is a tool to seduce and secure, but not a emotional thing to express (rationally she knows it is, and uses that to pull others into her web). But once caught and secured, that need goes away and she's just left with someone who wants her. Just a matter of time before she perverts that want into somehow trying to manipulate her into sex. Which then it twists into more of a proving she's 'strong' and rejecting all these attempts to manipulate. 

She was a serial adulterer too... so it's not just me this happened to. Once the OM was secured, she lost interest rapidly as she demonized them in her head for only wanting 'that'.. then moved onto a new OM. And going back, most of her past relationships ended that way too. Even part of the 'why' for the adultery is that she secured me and lost interest in sex with me... but not her libido. With me though, she couldn't completely validate our relationship was just sexual (I'm not entirely a bad thing)... because of how adultery works, the relationship couldn't develop where there is more substance and sexual stuff becomes a major element... hence a validation in her head that they are a bad thing. 

It's sort of sick that my distance (due to her adultery) keeps her in pursuit mode. If I get close, the switch gets flipped in her head. Nasty dynamic that insures she'll never have a healthy relationship.

Oh and edit… How we survived past the early dating phase where she most likely would have stopped sex and demonized me. We long distance dated for several months while I finished college, so there was no sex and no way to seduce me with it (beyond verbally). So how she caught men was taken out of play… which made it hard to justify that I was only after ‘that’; so I wasn’t a bad guy until later, after that honeymoon phase, and even then she couldn’t wipe out all that other stuff that wasn’t sexual at all I wanted to be around her for. Then I also stuck around when she rejected sex instead of ending it there (my own co-dependency issues at play) …


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Our story is kinda upside down and backwards to the norm... we never had the "jumping each other like bunny rabbits" thing going on as we waited till we married for him to stick it in.. then 3 months into our marriage, I was pregnant...(but this is what we wanted)....we were on top of the world with how it was playing out.. He was too...I am not meaning just me when I say this.. 

We had humble beginnings... but always felt in love...like the words in this song.. if we hear it today...he'll reach for my hand or we'd even dance to it in the moment... it brings us back there with fondness... Danny's song .. 

I can't say how we felt about each other EVER got side tracked.. I've never wanted out or felt I would be better with someone else.. I know he'd say the same.. we were in this thing together...

We had a little house of our own, our 1st son..he was such a Joy.. we tried for another... being an only child myself.. I so longed for my children to have siblings..(it's something we talked about for years before we married...and agreed on)... 

But then we found we couldn't conceive....for 6+ yrs... my H was wonderful throughout ALL... it was ME who didn't always handle it so well...but he'd hold me when I was frustrated or cried -hurting when my friends easily got pregnant ... while I struggled...I wish I could go back in time and erase some of my behavior.. he'd come home from work all happy wanting me and I'd be grouchy.. he was so patient and loving....

But yeah....my focus shifted so much on trying to conceive.. from pleasure to his







.. Only those who have been down this road would understand this.. if you never cared about having kids, don't even try. 

I was very one tract minded ... I just wasn't grasping how I was hurting him.. 

Then the kids started coming one after another ..we had another 5 in the next 10 yrs.....we were on top of the world... 

but still my focus wasn't on him as much as it should have been / easily could have been... by now.. Mid life was upon us....

Suddenly I realized how fast these years slipped past us..building our dreams, achieving them one by one, side by side...(we were always a couple who did things together).... but somehow missing each other in ways that shouldn't have been.. we always took family vacations but NEVER romantic vacations , getting off alone... what was wrong with us [email protected]#$%..

Somehow I wanted to go back in time and relive those yrs over again... where I felt we missed it.. (My Mid life crisis ...and it was all sexual - mind you!)... 

Our biggest Honeymoon was in Mid Life is what I am trying to say.. all backwards - We had more jumping like bunny rabbits, Whirlwind Romantic vacations (went to the Poconos 3 times) ... getting off alone, more sex outside, flirting and acting like love struck teenagers (even with some fighting & lots of make up sex) after we had all our [email protected]#$... 

I wanted to suddenly run away from them! 

I guess a marriage is liable is take any course , isn't it !


----------



## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I guess a marriage is liable is take any course , isn't it !


no. its liable to take the course that you set for it. you and your husband set a good one.


----------

