# Imaginary scenario - partner is "bought" out



## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening all
Just a random scenario to think about with regards to your relationship. 

Imagine you discover that you spouse has fallen in love with a wealthy person. They are happy. If you have kids, they will give you your choice of custody. You may keep all your combined assets. In addition their new wealthy partner writes you a check for 10 years of your partner's former pay to cover he loss of their income. 

So - there are no practical issues. No financial issues. 

How do you feel? Sad? Angry? Relieved? Happy? Lost? 

I'm trying to find a way to separate how one feels about their spouse from all of the practical issues surrounding a relationship.


----------



## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

I find that to be a very odd question.

Is this a fantasy of an easy way out of your marriage?


----------



## Julius Beastcavern (May 11, 2015)

If my partner had fallen in love with someone else whilst married to me I would take the joint custody and the money and move on to a better life


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Billionaire Romance is a huge genre. It's all fluff and wishes to me. If my partner was faithless enough to fall for that dream, I'd get it in writing.


----------



## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

Hmmm. 

Take the money....then she cheats with me.


----------



## JustTired (Jan 22, 2012)

How would I feel? I would feel hurt that my partner cheated on me. I would also feel insulted that the AP would feel the need to buy me out in order to absolve themselve from any guilt of being a home wrecker. But, at the end of the day I would take the money & create a wonderful life for myself & daughter. ;-)


----------



## imtamnew (May 13, 2013)

Maybe this is how Pimps feel?


----------



## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening all
> Just a random scenario to think about with regards to your relationship.
> 
> Imagine you discover that you spouse has fallen in love with a wealthy person. They are happy. If you have kids, they will give you your choice of custody. You may keep all your combined assets. In addition their new wealthy partner writes you a check for 10 years of your partner's former pay to cover he loss of their income.
> ...


Interesting scenario, but what if the partner didn't work, so the check would be for $0?


----------



## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
I ask because a lot of posters here seem unhappy in their relationships (there is of course selection effect). So, I'm wondering how people would feel if they had a way out that had no practical or moral problems for them. Its a way to ask, do you *really* want out or do you really want to stay, and just keep finding excuses for staying.


----------



## OLDERMARRIEDCOUPLE (Mar 13, 2015)

Your first question then should be.
Do you love your spouse? Then ask the above question.

1 - Hate spouse. - This would be great.
2 - Love spouse - spouse is priceless how could you put a number on him/her?

You might want to create context in order to judge the responses is all I am trying to say.


----------



## len51 (May 22, 2015)

In my world, both relationships can co-exist.  We did not live a monogamous marriage but it worked for us. Worked very well. No one had to decide who to chose over the other. We co-existed quite nicely.


----------



## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening all
> Just a random scenario to think about with regards to your relationship.
> 
> Imagine you discover that you spouse has fallen in love with a wealthy person. They are happy. If you have kids, they will give you your choice of custody. You may keep all your combined assets. In addition their new wealthy partner writes you a check for 10 years of your partner's former pay to cover he loss of their income.
> ...


Good evening Richard 

If my spouse left me for someone else it's her loss. I'd grieve the loss of what I had (or thought I had, or thought I could have had), I'd be angry that she would split up my children's home and hand over custody of them (abandon them), and glad that if she really disliked me so much that she'd break her vows to get away from me, that she'd be out of my sight. I'd get as much of what she is willing to give away in writing and make sure from my lawyer that it would withstand scrutiny in court, and then I'd move on and continue enjoying my life with those who actually want to be in my life.


----------



## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
It may not be so simple. I live my wife. So, if there really was someone who made her happier, should I be upset if she chose them?

I don' think there is such a person though. 




OLDERMARRIEDCOUPLE said:


> Your first question then should be.
> Do you love your spouse? Then ask the above question.
> 
> 1 - Hate spouse. - This would be great.
> ...


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

There is no price you can put on my time, love and life. All of those would have been lost in that scenario.

I invest all three and they are priceless.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
the check wasn't intended to be central to the discussion. I just wanted to cover the case where the spouse was the only one working, so you would be left in a bad situation .

Really what I am asking is if there were no practical issues at all, how many people would want to keep their spouses, and how many would want to leave?




technovelist said:


> Interesting scenario, but what if the partner didn't work, so the check would be for $0?


----------



## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> the check wasn't intended to be central to the discussion. I just wanted to cover the case where the spouse was the only one working, so you would be left in a bad situation .
> 
> Really what I am asking is if there were no practical issues at all, *how many people would want to keep their spouses, and how many would want to leave?*


I would want to keep a spouse whom wanted to keep me. I would want to leave a spouse whom did not want to keep me.


----------



## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> I ask because a lot of posters here seem unhappy in their relationships (there is of course selection effect). So, I'm wondering how people would feel if they had a way out that had no practical or moral problems for them. Its a way to ask, do you *really* want out or do you really want to stay, and just keep finding excuses for staying.


Once you start trying to find guiltless or easy ways out of being married, even in fantasy life, it's time to have a cold hard conversation with your spouse.


----------



## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

good evening
agreed. It why I'm surprised that with so many unhappy people posting, no one seemed to think it was an attractive option. There seem to be a number of people considering divorce if only they could manage it. Maybe the just didn't happen to stumble on this thread.

In case people have misunderstood - this isn't in any way about me. If I wanted to leave, I would, there are no practical barriers - I don't want to leave. 



marduk said:


> Once you start trying to find guiltless or easy ways out of being married, even in fantasy life, it's time to have a cold hard conversation with your spouse.


----------



## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> the check wasn't intended to be central to the discussion. I just wanted to cover the case where the spouse was the only one working, so you would be left in a bad situation .
> 
> Really what I am asking is if there were no practical issues at all, how many people would want to keep their spouses, and how many would want to leave?


Ok, got it.


----------



## MachoMcCoy (Oct 20, 2014)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening all
> Just a random scenario to think about with regards to your relationship.
> 
> Imagine you discover that you spouse has fallen in love with a wealthy person. They are happy. If you have kids, they will give you your choice of custody. You may keep all your combined assets. In addition their new wealthy partner writes you a check for 10 years of your partner's former pay to cover he loss of their income.
> ...


When I was in elementary school, I used to daydream about being a famous football player.

When I was in middle school, I used to day dream about being a rock star.

When I was in high school, I used to daydream about...well, never mind.

Now, I daydream about the exact scenario that you described. Only the buy-out amount is MUCH larger.


----------



## john117 (May 20, 2013)

I would help her pack...


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

If she's happier with someone else even with our great prior history, then she should be with them, IMO. I'd be sad, maybe even lost for a while, but I would get over it. Besides, in this scenario, I'd have lots of money to put towards things that make me happy.


----------



## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening all
> Just a random scenario to think about with regards to your relationship.
> 
> Imagine you discover that you spouse has fallen in love with a wealthy person. They are happy. If you have kids, they will *give you your choice of custody*. You may keep all your combined assets. In addition their new wealthy partner writes you a check for 10 years of your partner's former pay to cover he loss of their income.
> ...


I would feel that he was a crap parent to seek to purchase absolution over his opinion of the best interest of the children.


----------



## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> the check wasn't intended to be central to the discussion. I just wanted to cover the case where the spouse was the only one working, so you would be left in a bad situation .
> 
> Really what I am asking is if there were no practical issues at all, how many people would want to keep their spouses, and how many would want to leave?


I want to be with him. Even when he drives me nuts, I still love him.

If he came home and said he were leaving me, though, I would have to let him go. I don't think you should try to hang onto a man who does not want to be with you anymore.


----------



## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> I ask because a lot of posters here seem unhappy in their relationships (there is of course selection effect). So, I'm wondering how people would feel if they had a way out that had no practical or moral problems for them. Its a way to ask, do you *really* want out or do you really want to stay, and just keep finding excuses for staying.


Not only would I not do this, I would hate it if my spouse did this. We don't have 100% good times. But we love each other enough to work through the tough spots. I am with him because I want to be. I love him. I would go so far as to say that people who allow practical obstacles to get in their way of either leaving or fixing things are lazy.


----------

