# my glass bridge finally broke.



## broken glas (Sep 10, 2012)

I have been married for a long time. 11 years in April. We had been married once before to each other and it lasted for 11 months. Then divorced. Then 11 months later we were together again. I'm beginning to think 11 is unlucky for me.

I am bi sexual. I had a girlfriend who is married. Her husband is not into trading spouses or anything. So I made it very clear to my husband and girlfriend that they cannot engage in any sexual encounters. I took my two children to football and cheer practice Wednesday Sept 5th. IDK if it was fate or what but it was storming with lightning so practice got cancelled. I have to say all day I had a sick feeling that something big was gonna happen. So I call my husband and ask him to stop by the field after work. He does and I tell him about the feeling and asked him please do not do anything with her. He promises he wont. He leaves. He didn't know about the cancellation. I go to find my kids, load them up, and head home. The feeling intensified 10 fold. I pray her vehicle is in her driveway. Its not. I pray her vehicle isn't in my driveway. It is. My doors are locked. I pound on the door. About 4 minutes later she answers. Your husband is sleeping she says. I go into my room. Hes laying in my bed in just his shorts. Her shoes beside the bed. Hes not asleep. I asked him what he just did. He says to me what do you think I done. I told him to get out of my house. He left but came back a few hours later. We talk. We fight. I don't sleep for three days. He has changed so much in the past month. Since I got the girlfriend. I guess its my fault. If I wouldn't have it may not have happened. I cant stand this pain. I don't know what to do. He told me hes never let anyone control him like she did. And he couldn't say no. How can a man that says he cant live without you do something to throw away everything like that?


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## broken glas (Sep 10, 2012)

I should make it clear that her hubby is ok with our relationship. And that I have had a chance to be with him as well but haven't because he said he couldn't do anything like that to my hubby.


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## mule kick (Apr 10, 2012)

Infidelity sucks and the way your girlfriend and husband treated your boundaries sucks. I have to say the lines you cross yourself and tell your husband not to are a significant disrespect, too. You may be able to treat your different sex partners as unrelated but should they be? Isn't sex with anyone other than your husband a breach of monogamy? Wouldn't you feel cheated on if he had an online affair with someone? if there were ever a case for reconciling the past and preparing for the future I think you 2 have it. But I suggest you either have to be monogamous or not. You can't have one set of rules for you and another for him.


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## Confused_and_bitter (Aug 6, 2011)

Please correct me if I'm wrong your post is a bit confusing.

So, you are married(10 yrs) you are bisexual and have an extramarital sexual relationship with another woman who is also married and you have had a sinking feeling that your husband wants to sleep with her. So after your bad feeling you go home and sure enough they slept together because he couldn't say no?

If that be the case, well you have what seems like an open marriage but only on your side and you expected your husband to remain faithful while you weren't? I'm not in anyway excusing his behavior but this whole side relationship you had/have going on was just a time bomb waiting to happen. 

Was your husband completely on board with you sleeping with someone else?


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## KanDo (Jun 15, 2011)

So it is ok for you to have extramarital relations and not your husband...... All I can say is, Wow! Did you really expect this to work out???


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## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)

I don't understand why you're in so much pain to be honest. You both stepped out on each other. Just because he was more deceitful with his intentions, it doesn't make it that much "worse" in my opinion.


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## broken glas (Sep 10, 2012)

Yes. He was ok with it. Was his idea for me to have her if I wanted. I guess it was my fault. It still don't take the pain of finding out that they had it planned all day and him ptlromising he wouldn't away.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

You are cuckolding a married man by having sex with his wife.

Whilst you think it is fine for you and the man's wife to cheat on her husband, you decided that it would be wrong for your husband and your girl friend to cheat on you.

What is the difference between you and your girl fiend's husband that means it is perfectly acceptable for him to be turned into a cuckold, but not acceptable for the same thing to be done to you? 

Broken Glas, are you a cake eater?:scratchhead:


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## broken glas (Sep 10, 2012)

I can see where you all are coming from. You'd have to live my life to understand it. I'm just gonna say sorry I wasted your time and good luck to you all.


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## Writer (Aug 3, 2012)

I can understand what you are going through.

In the spring of '07, we opened out marriage up. At the time, my husband was spending less amount of time than I would have liked him too. Instead of telling him, I took the easiest way out. The selfish way out. I entered in a one-sided open relationship (where neither of the men were *allowed* to see other people). Ugh. It sounds so selfish when I type it out. That much, I blasted through my husband's boundaries. He wanted us to record the chat logs so he could read it. That was the first thing to go. One by one, I bent his boundaries, and he kept giving me more chances. My attention to him dwindled as I entered a full-blown EA with pics and video.

My husband begged for my attention, pleading. When I neglected him, he entered into his own EA with my AP's wife. My DDay came when I found video of her preforming acts specifically for my husband. 

This is what you need to do. You need to close off your marriage. This girlfriend has to go, or you will never R. Your husband writes a no contact letter to her, either physical copy (as my husband did) or email it. You block their number from your phone, block her email, and any other ways that you contact each other. You place a VAR in the car, the keylogger on the computer, and monitor until you are comfortable and verify that there is no contact. At the same time, you expose her to her husband.

If you are going to have an open marriage, then you open it for the both of you. 

Like I did, I really think you opened Pandora's Box. I hope you can get it shut again. We were able to after we humbled ourselves to each other and turned back to the vows we took (forsaking all others).


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

broken glas said:


> I can see where you all are coming from. You'd have to live my life to understand it. I'm just gonna say sorry I wasted your time and good luck to you all.


Hang on, you have not wasted our time.

What has happened is you said: "This is my situation."

When various people at TAM identified your situation, you seem to imply that we can't understand your life, as we haven't lived it, and because we didn't all say: "We think you are right. Your husband is a beast, but what you did was OK" you are going to bail out on us.

Don't. We have things to say that you need to hear.

By stepping outside the bounds of marriage you opened Pandora's box. Some of what comes out of Pandora's box is not nice.

Instead of running away from TAM, you need to stay and listen to what we have to say, betrayed spouses, cheaters, everyone.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Writer said:


> I can understand what you are going through.
> 
> In the spring of '07, we opened out marriage up. At the time, my husband was spending less amount of time than I would have liked him too. Instead of telling him, I took the easiest way out. The selfish way out. I entered in a one-sided open relationship (where neither of the men were *allowed* to see other people). Ugh. It sounds so selfish when I type it out. That much, I blasted through my husband's boundaries. He wanted us to record the chat logs so he could read it. That was the first thing to go. One by one, I bent his boundaries, and he kept giving me more chances. My attention to him dwindled as I entered a full-blown EA with pics and video.
> 
> ...


Wow! We cross-posted the Pandora's Box ref!


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## AlphaHalf (Aug 5, 2012)

> I am bi sexual. I had a girlfriend who is married. Her husband is not into trading spouses or anything. So I made it very clear to my husband and girlfriend that they cannot engage in any sexual encounters.


Basically you and your husband cheated with your "GF". Both of you had no regards for the GF's husband wishes, and had sex with her anyways. All three of you are cheaters and who cares if you crossed one another boundaries, because GF, you, and your husband crossed the GF husband's boundaries and participated in the affair. 

Why do think a bi person can have the best of both worlds while there hetero partner has to stay loyal????


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

AlphaHalf said:


> Basically you and your husband cheated with your "GF". Both of you had no regards for the GF's husband wishes, and had sex with her anyways. All three of you are cheaters and who cares if you crossed one another boundaries, because GF, you, and your husband crossed the GF husband's boundaries and participated in the affair.
> 
> Why do think a bi person can have the best of both worlds while there hetero partner has to stay loyal????


This sounds like Entitled Princess Syndrome. 

I do wish everyone involved (husbands, wives, children) well. I think therapy is called for.


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## Writer (Aug 3, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> Wow! We cross-posted the Pandora's Box ref!


I love the Pandora's Box reference. It really describes well what can be released with these Open Relationships. Jealousy, Envy. I don't think I heard any that have ended well. My husband and my daughter wear me out now; I can't imagine what it would be like with another person at this point in our marriage. Frankly, I don't want to.

Broken,

Yes. You absolutely need IC for this. And, when you are sure he is out of the affair, MC, too. Find out why both of you wanted to go outside the marriage and face whatever demons lurks within it. 

Also, stay with TAM. Many here will give you what I call Tough Love, but you can learn a lot. You can learn healthy boundaries for your marriage. TAM, for me, has been invaluable.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

tell your gf's husband.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

> Yes. He was ok with it. Was his idea for me to have her if I wanted.


Did he set you up, I wonder?


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## mule kick (Apr 10, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> Did he set you up, I wonder?


I wondered the same thing. Awful convenient.


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## Kasler (Jul 20, 2012)

So let me get this straight?

You have sex with GF

Husband isn't allowed to see other women.

GF's husband isn't allowed to see other women and is being cuckolded by you and your GF. 

Husband has sex with another woman and it's time to throw you a pity party for your glass bridge breaking?

More like your Ivory tower is actually full of sh!t from the start. 

From what I read this was a long time coming, I just don't get how cake eating spouses are so selfish and then turn around and act so surprised and hurt at the fruit of their actions. 

So I don't really care about 'your pain' when I think of the GF's cuckolded husband and your husband whose trying to prevent the **** life from befalling him and doesn't have a clue what to do. 

You're story isn't anywhere near as complex as you think it is. 

Just one spouse being incredibly selfish. Did you even give a fk about GF's husband or your own? The position you put them in so you can both genders are your fingertips? 

I won't lie, If your family is destroyed because of this the blame lies solely at your adulterous feet. 

Just because your bi doesn't mean you're entitled to two partners. 

Either pick one and be done or just be a single woman, period.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

you know what? All of that was likely discussed as what was acceptable within their open marriage.

For open marriages to work, these boundaries have to be crystal clear and rock solid. (which is why most people can't pull them off)

So the bottom line is that her husband crossed those boundaries and cheated. You can claim otherwise, but he agreed to this situation and if he had a problem with it he had better options. Just like cheating in a monogamous marriage.


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## Kasler (Jul 20, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> you know what? All of that was likely discussed as what was acceptable within their open marriage.
> 
> For open marriages to work, these boundaries have to be crystal clear and rock solid. (which is why most people can't pull them off)
> 
> So the bottom line is that her husband crossed those boundaries and cheated. You can claim otherwise, but he agreed to this situation and if he had a problem with it he had better options. Just like cheating in a monogamous marriage.


Doesn't matter. Just because someone agreed to something once doesn't mean they want to live by it for the rest of their life. Like if I signed up for a magazine I most likely wouldn't want to be a subscriber for the next 50 years.

The bottom line in open marriages is that for there to even be a chance of it working, the feelings of BOTH spouses and those involved must be considered thoroughly and frequently.

Which obviously didn't happen here. She was getting hers so fk all to everyone else, including hubby and **** hubby. Exactly why she didn't see this coming.

You hold the man to too high a standard. Who the hell would honestly know what to do in a situation like this? Most people are already up the creek without a paddle when it comes to what to do in most regular infidelities. 

Might as well be belly up from the start on something like this.


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## broken glas (Sep 10, 2012)

I never said he wasnt allowed to have sex with other women. and i never said the other husband didnt know about it. what i said was it was discussed, agreed upon, that we didnt want the other hubby hurt by HIM and HER. If you've never been in an open marriage you wont understand. there are lines you draw and he crossed it. i asked him dont. he did. I would never do that to him because i feel like it would be wrong to do something he wasnt ok with. i suppose i am just different than most of you.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Kasler said:


> Doesn't matter. Just because someone agreed to something once doesn't mean they want to live by it for the rest of their life. Like if I signed up for a magazine I most likely wouldn't want to be a subscriber for the next 50 years.
> 
> The bottom line in open marriages is that for there to even be a chance of it working, the feelings of BOTH spouses and those involved must be considered thoroughly and frequently.
> 
> ...



then he speaks to her to get it changed first

He went behind her back and lied, hid what he was doing- THAT is cheating

I don't think their arrangement is fair either but it's what he signed up for and he had every right to leave, divorce or change the rules of the open marriage. I understand your confusion because we are viewing this within the framework of a monogamous relationship that most of us have. They didn't. She was above board in what she was doing and the husband gave her permission to do as such.


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## Kasler (Jul 20, 2012)

broken glas said:


> I never said he wasnt allowed to have sex with other women. and i never said the other husband didnt know about it. what i said was it was discussed, agreed upon, that we didnt want the other hubby hurt by HIM and HER. If you've never been in an open marriage you wont understand. there are lines you draw and he crossed it. i asked him dont. he did. I would never do that to him because i feel like it would be wrong to do something he wasnt ok with. i suppose i am just different than most of you.


You right, I wouldn't understand being with someone else other than the person I love.

Heres what I do understand though. 

You say you'd never do it to him, but you don't realize that you already have been doing it to him, you just didn't know it. 

Tell me, exactly how long did you think he would be content to share his wife with another person? That he would be amiable and resentment would never fester?

To have multiple people in a 2 person marriage.

Honest question, how much mileage did you expect to get out of this?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

broken glas said:


> I never said he wasnt allowed to have sex with other women. and i never said the other husband didnt know about it. what i said was it was discussed, agreed upon, that we didnt want the other hubby hurt by HIM and HER. If you've never been in an open marriage you wont understand. there are lines you draw and he crossed it. i asked him dont. he did. I would never do that to him because i feel like it would be wrong to do something he wasnt ok with. i suppose i am just different than most of you.


thank you for clarifying 

he broke the rules of your arrangement and most certainly that of the other couple's as well. 


I don't think you'll get the help you want here due to the make up of the posters on this forum- I suggest you go to the forums on truthaboutdeception.com . There is a poster there named DanKwan who has gone through a similar situation as yours and should help you a lot. I haven't been on there for a while so I hope he's still there.


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## broken glas (Sep 10, 2012)

FYI: I never had sex with her. I wouldnt because the rules we set in our marriage were we dont do anything without the other. so if he couldnt be there then I didnt and same with him. but he broke the rule. not me.


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## Kasler (Jul 20, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> then he speaks to her to get it changed first
> 
> He went behind her back and lied, hid what he was doing- THAT is cheating
> 
> I don't think their arrangement is fair either but it's what he signed up for and he had every right to leave, divorce or change the rules of the open marriage. I understand your confusion because we are viewing this within the framework of a monogamous relationship that most of us have. They didn't. She was above board in what she was doing and the husband gave her permission to do as such.


So one time permission = lifetime acceptance?

He could've worked to change the relationship, but I've rarely seen resentment be channeled into that.


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## broken glas (Sep 10, 2012)

Kasler said:


> You right, I wouldn't understand being with someone else other than the person I love.
> 
> Heres what I do understand though.
> 
> ...


The whole thing was his idea. I cant say i wasnt bi until he suggested it. but i never dreamed of doing anything like this until he suggested it.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Kasler said:


> So one time permission = lifetime acceptance?
> 
> He could've worked to change the relationship, but I've rarely seen resentment be channeled into that.


you clearly don't understand the nature of swinging or open marriages and are being judgmental- I don't think it's a good idea either but that decision is hers and her husbands. You are not being very helpful to this woman but laying this blame at her feet. She didn't cheat within the confines of their agreement (and now I see that their rule is that they only "play" together as a couple). He broke the explicit boundary that they set for each other. He cheated.

and no it isn't a lifetime acceptance either, they can have a discussion to go back to being monogamous or change the agreed upon boundaries.


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## Kasler (Jul 20, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> you clearly don't understand the nature of swinging or open marriages and are being judgmental- I don't think it's a good idea either but that decision is hers and her husbands. You are not being very helpful to this woman but laying this blame at her feet. She didn't cheat within the confines of their agreement (and now I see that their rule is that they only "play" together as a couple). He broke the explicit boundary that they set for each other. He cheated.


Then we agree to disagree on this.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

and I do recommend that the open marriage stops now, your husband clearly cannot abide by boundaries. I don't know if this betrayal is a deal breaker for you but this will take a long time to heal from.


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## broken glas (Sep 10, 2012)

The open marriage concept is gone. I will never again do anything like this. if it cant be he and I then i guess we dont have a chance anyways. ive told him that.


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## SadandAngry (Aug 24, 2012)

A long time indeed. From the outside it seems as though you were sort of set up by your husband, possibly by the ow as well. Kind of like they wanted to have an affair, right in front of you though, that or bring an existing affair out of the closet. You've got a lot of thinking and talking, and pain, no doubt, ahead of you.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

btw- have you told the OWH yet?


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## broken glas (Sep 10, 2012)

no. the OWH dont know. i just dont know if i can hurt someone that way.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

You won't be hurting him, your husband and OW already has done that

He has a right to know what his wife is doing behind his back and it will help destroy the affair


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

He cheated plan and simple - so the rest what I post should be read understanding that I"m not letting him off in it one bit.

You need to think about your "girlfriend". Her is a woman who has so little regard for her own marriage that she's open to being brought into another romantic relationship outside her marriage - one that doesn't include her husband. She's bi - she likes men. So basically you invited a woman into your marriage that herself doesn't value being faithful to her own husband.

Why did you think for a minute that she wouldn't go after your husband.

You know that bad feeling you had - that was your gut warning you that you had invited a predator into your marriage. You though it was nice and safe because the predator was loyal to you, but as you found out, that people who aren't loyal to their own spouse are not going to be loyal to their "girlfriends" either.

I can't help but wonder also if the "girl friend" has really told you the truth of her marriage. You said that you had the opportunity to be with the OWH. So clearly they are swingers who do not value faithfulness. Her going after your husband then was something that had a very high chance of happening, and did. I wonder if she and her husband, hoped that if they could get your husband in on it, that they could go full on with you too.

If you hadn't caught them, I can't help but wonder if soon the OWH would be telling you that he should be able to be with you since your husband had been with his wife.

I'd say that your title is wrong - your glass bridge didn't break.

You bought a torch, lit it, swung it around, played with it, and in the end got burned by it.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

broken glas said:


> no. the OWH dont know. i just dont know if i can hurt someone that way.


I bet he already knows.


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## dblkman (Jul 14, 2010)

Broken glass,

These types of relationships almost NEVER last, someone is going to break the boundaries. You live and learn and hopefully will never repeat this again, as far as your H goes he seems like he was encouraging you have a g/f so he can get off on it himself. My advice to you would be if he does not want a monogamous marriage then you should leave. Also even though he encouraged you, you still had a choice so next time make the right one


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

broken glas said:


> I should make it clear that her hubby is ok with our relationship. *And that I have had a chance to be with him as well but haven't because he said he couldn't do anything like that to my hubby*.




You were read to bang OMH but he didn't want to hurt your husband so he bailed out, If he didnt mind hurting your husband then you might have banged OMH on your husbands back, same thing happened to your husband, your GF approached him but he didn't care about hurting OMH feelings.

Marriage is between two, there is no room for a third person Straight or bi, male or female, gay or lesbian.


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## cpacan (Jan 2, 2012)

I am a bit confused by this story, so my apologies if I seem to misunderstand the situation.

If I were you, I would have the feeling that your husband used you as bait for himself to get some strange - does it feel like that?

How sure were you on the agreed upon boundaries? Were they absolutely clear to all 4 parties involved?

Anyway; I think you have a problem with your husband, since he chooses to lie that obviously to you. It's the lies that kill a relationship. If your boundaries and agreemnet were 100% clear; I would concentrate on deciding whether you can live with a lying behaviour or not.


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## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

It disappoints me when someone comes on here. They expect a certain response. When they don't get exactly what they want to hear they just run off. Hello if you are coming here you obviously have reached a dead end in your life. Maybe it isn't just the OM or WS that needs to change it is also the BS. I can't count the number of BS we tell to man up and change.
In this circumstance the OP seemed like she doesn't want to fully knowledge her role that left a gaping hole in her marriage. IMO This type of situation is the only one where the BS should knowledge that his or her actions created a highway straight to an A. Granted the WH still should have respected her boundaries. I would not be surprised if the OW was just using the OP to get to her husband. 
This is going to be a hot mess since the OP WH is likely going to attempt to justify his behavior with the OP's behavior. I think in this situation you both need to send the OW a NO Contact letter.
That way neither of you are tempted to deal with the OW anymore. You both need to decide if you are going to have an open marriage, the boundaries, and sexual orientation. If you aren't happy with just men then you may just need to come out and tell your husband. This whole cat and mouse of I like women but I want the stability of a normal straight home is not going to work. OP please get some IC and figure out what you really want.
The OWH needs to know the whole situation. Why the girlfriend relationship is over and how far it went with the OP husband. He needs to know that you will not be reciprocating. That there isn't going to be a threesome. That this situation was jacked up and that it is over now. 
After that it is straight to the MC and working on being happy with just each other. Working on why you sought out an open relationship. Good luck i hope you still read it.


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## Writer (Aug 3, 2012)

Broken, I suggest you tell the OW's husband. Two set of eyes on them is better than one. Being with an AP is an addicting, and it is unlikely that it will stop cold turkey.

Also, he deserves to know the type of woman he is married to. I don't mean straight or bi, either. She cheated on her husband with yours. He needs to know.


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## shannonc5460 (Aug 13, 2012)

I guess I am with the majority here. Hello, you cheated by having a girlfriend to begin with. And to FORBID your husband from anything that's ok for you is double standards. Why did you marry to begin with. Sorry you can't have your cake and eat it too. Either you stay single and keep your relationships open and up front or you marry ONE and stay away from the other! Boohoo for you! Your Cake was eaten by someone else!! Sorry can't feel [email protected]


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

shannonc5460 said:


> I guess I am with the majority here. Hello, you cheated by having a girlfriend to begin with. And to FORBID your husband from anything that's ok for you is double standards. Why did you marry to begin with. Sorry you can't have your cake and eat it too. Either you stay single and keep your relationships open and up front or you marry ONE and stay away from the other! Boohoo for you! Your Cake was eaten by someone else!! Sorry can't feel [email protected]


I think there is a slight difference when it was her husband who suggested it.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

before and after shot of TAM users
https://www.google.com/search?q=bef...eEoTg0QH8z4CYBg&ved=0CCgQsAQ&biw=1366&bih=625


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## Exsquid (Jul 31, 2012)

:rofl::lol: Too funny!


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## Writer (Aug 3, 2012)

AR.

How the heck did you get my pic? :rofl:


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

broken glas said:


> The whole thing was his idea. I cant say i wasnt bi until he suggested it. but i never dreamed of doing anything like this until he suggested it.


Then perhaps he DID set you up?:scratchhead:


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

> The whole thing was his idea. I cant say i wasnt bi until he suggested it. but i never dreamed of doing anything like this until he suggested it.


Hmmm my bullsh1meter about to explode. I smell *set up* from the very beginning.
So he encourages you to explore your lesbian side, he set up the rules, then magically he ends f0cking the partner he basically chose for you? Hmmm
Time to pick up the phone bill. I smell contact even before the "open marriage" conversations. Follow the rabbit hole!

On the other hand if this a classic case of cheating (the open marriage is irrelevant, he broke the rules) you both need to go total NC with OW and her husband.
Send - both - NC letters.
Expose the infidelity to her BH (don't warn anybody).
Demand total, full transparence in comunication devices and acountability of his whereabouts.
Demand a full disclosure. It didn't just happened, again, do some snooping, they were likely in a EA before this, maybe PA started earlier (what are the chances you caught them the first time?).. display all the snooping tools you so can prevent it to go underground (keylog to PC, buging phone, GPS, VARS, whatever).
He needs to show remorse, to earn your trust back.
Open marriage gone. He's not trusworthy.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

Why everyone discuss her choices of marriage instead of giving her advice on how to deal with his husband infidelity is beyond me.
She never cheated, she stuck to the rules they agreed even we don't like or share them.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> before and after shot of TAM users
> https://www.google.com/search?q=bef...eEoTg0QH8z4CYBg&ved=0CCgQsAQ&biw=1366&bih=625



what the heck, I coulda sworn I posted this is another thread

sorry OP


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## broken glas (Sep 10, 2012)

im beginning to think he did set me up. Have you ever done something for someone just to make them happy? i think thats what i did. I enjoyed it. but still I did it cause he asked me to. And for those of you who think i want to hear a certain thing, no thats not the case. I understand that some of you think that just because i have an open marriage that I cannot be hurt. when a spouse breaks a rule that HE set, and has changed into a person you dont know anymore then yes I can be very hurt.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

broken glas said:


> im beginning to think he did set me up. Have you ever done something for someone just to make them happy? i think thats what i did. I enjoyed it. but still I did it cause he asked me to. And for those of you who think i want to hear a certain thing, no thats not the case. I understand that some of you think that just because i have an open marriage that I cannot be hurt. when a spouse breaks a rule that HE set, and has changed into a person you dont know anymore then yes I can be very hurt.


so what's going on now?

are you in the same house right now, do you want R, do you want D, are you up in the air, is he willing to go NC with OW and atone for this?


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## broken glas (Sep 10, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> what the heck, I coulda sworn I posted this is another thread
> 
> sorry OP


Its ok. I seem to feel like that. LOL


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## broken glas (Sep 10, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> so what's going on now?
> 
> are you in the same house right now, do you want R, do you want D, are you up in the air, is he willing to go NC with OW and atone for this?


yes we are still in the same house. Just not in the same bed. ive been with him for 17 years. of course i want to reconcile.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

but what is he doing on his end?

I suggest you read the newbie link in my signature to start learning a bit

you need-

1) No contact, husband writes a no contact letter stating he wants no further contact from OW. If she tries to contact him he must ignore it and tells you of it right away
2) complete transparency- all passwords given up and access to phone is given freely. I recommend you also verify his actions by your own means like a keylogger and such
3) He demonstrates true remorse (see chart in newbie link)
4) you spend 15 hours a week of on eon one time to rebond
5) you get out of the swinging lifestyle


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

broken glas said:


> The whole thing was his idea. I cant say i wasnt bi until he suggested it. but i never dreamed of doing anything like this until he suggested it.


He set you up...but you bit on the pump fake.


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## Stephs (Aug 8, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> what the heck, I coulda sworn I posted this is another thread
> 
> sorry OP


 hahaha just had to say.. I thought I missed something (a secret code or something) lol


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