# Hanging on by a thread.



## Russ25nys (Oct 11, 2009)

Hello everyone. My name is Russ. I have been with with my wife for almost 13 years and married for just over 6. We have two beautiful kids a 5 year old girl and a 9 year old boy. We just moved to GA from NY about 2 years ago to try to find a better way of life. 

My wife dropped the bomb on me a month ago Saturday. She says she's been unhappy for a few years and no longer loves me and is not sure weather or not she wants to try to salvage our marriage. Since that day things have gone from bad to worse. The first week we still having sex and cuddling/snuggling and holding hands. As of today we don't have any contact at all. 

In the last month I have changed completely. She see's the change and is happy with it but it is having no effect on our situation. Friday night I made her mad and she packed a bag to leave for the night than 1 hour later sent me a text asking me to meeet her at the movies and ended up coming home. Confused the crap outa me but I was happy to go. We saw couples retreat on side note and it was frickin funny. Best movie I've seen in a long time. 

We went to 1 session of marrriage counseling last week and are now both going to seperate sessions for a while I guess to see if she can figure out weather she wants to save this or not. 

Now my question/questions I just got a copy of Love dare and my wife at this point is asking me to give her space should I proceed with this book anyway? I'm afraid to push her further away and have no idea whats in the book. Oh btw we still live together and sleep in the same bed. Any advice would be really great. I really want to save my marriage.


Thanks Russ


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

Just remember to get back in her good graces it is going to take alot of time and patience on your part. She has built up a good deal of resentment over the YEARS. A MONTH of your changes will not do it. She has to trust those changes are true and firm.

Yes..I would suggest the LOVE DARE. There are another thread on here that people are using it. See the Love, Depression, and Booze thread. He is using it on his wife successfully at this point. He's worked his butt off for her. It gives you some insight on the work required.

Anything that you can do to better yourself is good. You will appear attractive to her. Try not to do too much relationship talk...let your actions speak for themselves.


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## Loving Husband (Aug 3, 2009)

Yeah I suggest the book.. It's a way of changing YOU.. Nothing to do with your wife. It's learning to love her for her no matter what. She is still in the house that means you can do every dare. It's hard when she is away.. Your wife is very confused but you are FAR from over. She is still attached but confused. Sounds like she wants improvement.. Has she said exactly what she is looking for or what she is missing? This is key to how to tackle it. Then give her space.. She needs time to think and notice your changes. My wife noticed how much I changed in how I react and treat her. Then we started to get better. BTW if your heart isn't into the book you won't do anything.. She will see it.. I also suggest the movie fireproof. It's what the books about..Good luck and don't give up.. love is a wonderful thing..


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## sandyf (Apr 14, 2009)

Corpuswife - Can you tell me where to find the Love, Depression, and Booze thread? I would be interested in reading it.

Thanks


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/6958-love-depression-booze.html


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## Russ25nys (Oct 11, 2009)

Thanks for the replies everyone. All advice sounds good and is exactly what she is saying to me. She wants me to change for me not her. We watched the movie Fireproof together it really hit home for me. I've also started to read the 5 love laguages wich makes all the sense in the world. I wish I knew of this book/program years ago. I tried to get the wife to read a little with me but at this point she's not interested so I left it alone. 

Yesterday was a really good day we went for 2 walks with kids and played Monopoly she even held my arm when we were in bed last night. I know it's not much but it is start. Oh and today she put her wedding ring back on. 

As crappy as this situation is I feel pretty good about myself today.Today is day one of Love dare. 

Will update soon.

Russ


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