# Does a penis size when not erect matter to ladies?



## Clockwork (May 2, 2018)

I will be the first to admit, when my penis is soft, it isn't long. If it is erect, no problem. I fit comfortably into the 4.5"-6" category that I believe 90% of men do. So basically I am more of a "grower" than a "shower". My penis, while thick regardless, is about a quarter the length of when it is when I am hard. I realized over time that isn't unusual. 

So to the ladies, does a soft penis size matter to you? I was never sure if it did when I first met my wife. Not that I worried about my size, I just worried about my size when I wasn't hard. She didn't care and has always seemed to like making it grow. 

But are there ladies that are particular about a soft penis being long?


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

All penises matter. 

As an example of my thoughts on this, I'll direct you to a lovely post from twoofus:



twoofus said:


> In my younger days I had a girlfriend who loved just playing with my penis and would do so pretty much whenever we were alone together (or so it seemed). She didn't mind if I carried on watching TV or reading whilst she stroked, rubbed or sucked me. For some of the time I would be quite flaccid but I liked it. I did not need to finish by cumming either, although that usually happened then she would carry on. Being blown after cumming was amazing though. She should have been a keeper but I didn't see that.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*In the vast majority of the cases, a man's penis size is strictly a secondary characteristic compared to the personality, heart and the soul of the individual!

For as long as a woman truly remains in love with him, his appendage size is going to be of little consequence to her, just as long as it's functioning properly, usable, and is done so with her on a rather frequent basis!

Just as I feel that a woman's physical attributes is an extension of her altruism, heart, and soul!*


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## JustTheWife (Nov 1, 2017)

I wouldn't worry too much about it. It's not like most women think about what the length is when they see a naked guy. If you are thick then it's likely that it doesn't look small overall when you are naked.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Another penis thread - oh, joy. Let the games begin.>


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

It isn't impressive as far as visually stimulating women as far as I can tell.

I know I'm a bit shy when Mr. Wiggly is fully shrunk up.

Mine almost disappears during extreme physical exertion/work/exercise and especially during swimming.


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## Max.HeadRoom (Jun 28, 2014)




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## 23cm (Dec 3, 2016)

Doesn't really seem to matter as long as the rest of the package is good...


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

Blondilocks said:


> Another penis thread - oh, joy. Let the games begin.>


You know you love talking about **** Blondi. Just go with it.


ConanHub said:


> It isn't impressive as far as visually stimulating women as far as I can tell.
> 
> I know I'm a bit shy when Mr. Wiggly is fully shrunk up.
> 
> Mine almost disappears during extreme physical exertion/work/exercise and especially during swimming.


Same here as far as turtle in the shell lol. But I dont really care as the Mrs knows what is brought to the table when its time.


Max.HeadRoom said:


> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEnKLhi83J8


Damn beat me to it.


As an aside what if breasts grew when women were excited like some penises? :rofl:


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

I don't think it matters. Frankly the erect size doesn't really matter. I mean if it was really small yeah that would suck but men are way more into the size of penises then most women I know.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Does anyone else think David's hands are way too large in proportion to the penis? Seems he'd have to get out his gem tweezers to sort the family jewels.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

So now we got to worry when it's flaccid? 

Let me give you some advice. I lost my hair enough when I hit my 40's that I had to start shaving it. I could worry about that or I could accept it is what it is and shave it and get on with life. Now I was married but even if I wasn't lucky for me there would be enough women on the planet that that is not going to prevent me from finding someone. Assuming I am not an ******* which I am not despite what some posters here thing.  

You can't change your **** size, at least effectively, not yet. Stop worrying about it and change what you have control over.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Oh goody I get to talk about peens again!

I love all the stages a penis goes through. The fact that it changes shape and size to such extremes is fascinating and wondrous!

However, there is a difference in my sexual response to a flaccid penis that is still thick and long. When he is walking around naked with a full on banana sized non erect one, I can’t take my eyes off of it. It’s like a tractor beam and just completely mesmerizes me and makes me want to jump his bones. In fact, I tell him he’s got to cover himself up if he wants to get anything done. I find myself having flash backs of seeing it all day long anyway though. My current boyfriend is all of this (and his erect size is incredible as well.)

Men I’ve been with who don’t have much size when not erect, I find myself avoiding looking directly at it when he’s naked. It doesn’t turn me on or off, but it also isn’t that visually pleasing to me. If we were naked in bed and not getting busy, I loved just cupping it with my hand or generally petting it somehow, but just looking at it while he’s standing naked was not something I wanted to do.

I love the statue of David. But I find myself looking at every part of him except his penis. Whereas if he had a banana hanging there, I would be looking at that and nothing else.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Blondilocks said:


> Does anyone else think David's hands are way too large in proportion to the penis? Seems he'd have to get out his gem tweezers to sort the family jewels.


In my fantasy he is a grower and when full size he has to use both hands to handle it :laugh:


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

“A good man is hard to find, but a hard man is a good find.” Does it really make a difference? The only thing my flaccid penis can do is pee, eww. 

My erect penis (which is above average ) can do so much more. 


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## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

This is a silly question IMHO. 

Not that I matters, but, all woman are different. I knew a girl that had a Super Hung FWB, and even after it got soft it hung to almost his knee, or so I am told. Now this was not completely flaccid she said, but just after sex and going down. Yeah, she said it was hot. 

Not that it matters, but why in the world would you care if yours gets the job done? 

For me, I am a grower, like that statue picture above. 

For what it is worth, GF complains a little when she is performing oral on me that it is just too thick. 

It is not really, but she just has kind of a small mouth. I just tell her she is going great and that we will continue to work on it. 

How funny to worry about this type of stuff...


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Blondilocks said:


> Does anyone else think David's hands are way too large in proportion to the penis? Seems he'd have to get out his gem tweezers to sort the family jewels.


He was probably a grower...

Maybe the artist liked really small ****s?


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## hairyhead (Oct 30, 2015)

Small when flaccid?! Think yourself lucky.

You should see it after a winters day bike ride. There's not a lot of insulation in lycra.

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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Clockwork said:


> I will be the first to admit, when my penis is soft, it isn't long. If it is erect, no problem. I fit comfortably into the 4.5"-6" category that I believe 90% of men do. So basically I am more of a "grower" than a "shower". My penis, while thick regardless, is about a quarter the length of when it is when I am hard. I realized over time that isn't unusual.
> 
> So to the ladies, does a soft penis size matter to you? I was never sure if it did when I first met my wife. Not that I worried about my size, I just worried about my size when I wasn't hard. She didn't care and has always seemed to like making it grow.
> 
> But are there ladies that are particular about a soft penis being long?


Personally I couldn't care less. If you are married then only your wife matters anyway.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

ConanHub said:


> He was probably a grower...
> 
> 
> 
> Maybe the artist liked really small ****s?




I think marble was more expensive in those days. Every inch counted.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Blondilocks said:


> Does anyone else think David's hands are way too large in proportion to the penis? Seems he'd have to get out his gem tweezers to sort the family jewels.




How long have you been staring at it? 
Did you not know, if you stare at it long enough, it grows on you 


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

I think you'll find that the majority of women care far more about the man attached to the penis than the penis itself.


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

Faithful Wife said:


> Oh goody I get to talk about peens again!


Oh goody, another opportunity for FW to be insensitive and cruel.

I can only think of two reasons why you would do what you always do when the subject of penis size comes up; either you think that brutal honesty is needed or it's revenge for seeing men making women feel inadequate about their bodies.

In the first case, let me assure you that it is not necessary for men with small penises to know that this is a problem for them. There are very few men with small penises who are unaware that many women will have a problem with their size. There absolutely are women who need the feeling of being "filled" or who need a certain amount of girth or a certain shape to "reach the right place". There are women who simply can't be satisfied by a small, narrow or non-perfectly shaped penis. If a woman only orgasms from penetration or needs penetration to be satisfied, then there are certain men who can never satisfy them sexually no matter what they do, despite whatever oral skills they possess, despite any other qualities they may have.

There was a disagreement on the in the last penis thread regarding average penis size. Someone was pointing out that the average was about 5 1/2 inches and SlowlyGoingCrazy, who was deep in the swinging world, saying that she'd never seen one smaller than 7 inches. They were both correct. SGC's experience was due to the fact that a man with an average or below average penis simply doesn't have reason to believe that women would want to have sex with him. So, in that world, she didn't see them.

So, thanks, but if you think that your being brutally honest is letting small **** guys know something they didn't already know, it's really not needed.

As far as revenge (the other possible motive); I'm pretty sure that you've previously voice the opinion that men judge women all the time and make them feel bad about their bodies while being hypersensitive about their penises. First, when I see women on TAM worry about their bodies, I see men reassuring then that men find them sexy anyway. I don't recall an instance here where a woman posted about her small breasts, asking men their preferences and a man responded by lauding large breasts, talking about how he found small breasts to be a turn off and saying that if his partner had small breasts he'd "just avoid looking at them". 

In order to give a man a decent sexual experience, a woman basically just needs to show up and demonstrate some enthusiasm. 

A man approaching a sexual encounter has to worry if his penis is big enough, "girthy" enough, if he'll be able to get an erection, if his erection is hard enough, if he'll be able to last long enough (but not too long), figure out if she likes rough sex or romantic sex all on top of trying to give his partner an orgasm.

Now he can add worrying if his flaccid penis is too small and that's why his partner is avoiding looking at him naked.

I suppose I could take revenge by telling the next woman posting on TAM about some sexual insecurity she has that everything she feels insecure about is justified and add a couple of new insecurities that she hadn't thought of to her list.

But, of course I won't do that. It's cruel and thoughtless. I'll reassure her that everyone has different tastes, shortcomings in one area can be compensated for in other areas, a man who only cares about *that* is not worth having, there's someone for everyone, etc .... , the usual things that decent human beings say in circumstances like that.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

@Buddy400

It is true that I feel there is a double standard where it comes to men’s egos and the way people tend to protect them, versus women’s egos which people tend to expect us to be used to hearing all about the many ways men love women’s bodies....men are entitled to porn but many believe women don’t want certain entitlements. 

But my real desire is to simply be able to state my preferences. What people feel about those preferences shouldn’t be some big hairy deal. Men can talk on and on about their preferences...what kind of boobs they like, what kind of ass they like, every other body part preferences, hair, faces, and more. And I personally like reading those preferences, it is interesting to me the vast array of sexual beauty and perception of that beauty that exists.

I love the penis. I could write books full of praise for them. Also more books about my love of the rest of men’s bodies. Their hair, their arms, legs, back, shoulders, hands...and much more. But especially the penis, I love them. I worship them. I want to be free to discuss my love for them. If you read my posts with your mind open to see my love of them and how engaged I am on this topic, you might read me differently.

If you want to start a post asking people what is wonderful and amazing about peens, I’ll be so happy to contribute. I don’t start posts like that myself because it would seem like I was trying to write porn or something.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Buddy400 said:


> Oh goody, another opportunity for FW to be insensitive and cruel.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I wouldn’t take these things personally. 
Though it could be like a self fulfilling prophecy: penises that feel that nobody wants to look at them when flaccid probably get more depressed and retreat further inside...

SGC: did she go to swinging parties with a measuring tape? How can you tell a difference between a 7 and 6 inch penis? You need spotlights (and magnifying glasses) at the very least. I would trust online statistics. When you are aroused, your size perception may not be quite accurate 

Also unless you are more on the nympho side, I’m not sure many women are that attracted to the penis visually (at least not to the extend as men are aroused by vajajays. And lets face it: there are no ugly vaginas). I don’t think it features that high on their list of priorities of what they look for in a mate. At some point, if they have a penis at all, it’s already pretty good. And if it’s visible, it’s a cherry  on the cake (or elephant’s trunk, depending on the angle).
Guys: don’t worry about it. Spend more time listening to your wife and nodding along understandably whenever she blabbers on about something that bothers her: way more important than your peepee.


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## JustTheWife (Nov 1, 2017)

Buddy400 said:


> Oh goody, another opportunity for FW to be insensitive and cruel.
> 
> I can only think of two reasons why you would do what you always do when the subject of penis size comes up; either you think that brutal honesty is needed or it's revenge for seeing men making women feel inadequate about their bodies.
> 
> ...


I don't know what "average" penis size is but from various things i've read, it seems pretty small compared to what I experienced. I've been with a few guys who were very small (I would say like abnormal) but aside from them for the most part I've been with guys who are much bigger than what I remember reading around "average". 

I don't understand why some guys are so obsessed with what is "average". If you're with a woman who has been with smaller guys, you'll be bigger than "average" TO HER and vice versa. I don't think women judge men against some global average of penis size. Like if a women is used to dating wealthy men it doesn't really matter to her if you make more money than the global average salary which is pretty low anyway. You'll be poor to her if she's been with wealthy men. The opposite is also true. If yuo have a decent job and a little money and she's only been with poor guys then you'll be rich to her.

I guess i can understand why men think about this but you kind of have to just make the most of what you have.


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## Knips (May 23, 2017)

When i am small i always fear a shrimp fisher. And when erect i got jeaulous looks from the stallion standing in the field next to my house. 🙂 ( Joking, i am only average) I think that a large flacid penis can look nicer than a complete shrunken wrinkeled flacid penis. Myself i am a grower. When coming out of a cold swimming pool it is very small. On a hot summer day my flacid is quit large. A tip doing some helicopter shakes with a flacid penis will make it large ( not erect) but after a few minutes it shrinks back to its small size. Erect however it is large. My wife has seen my penis more in a erect state then in a flacid state. Erect is the one that matters for you're lover ( at least for my wife, she can only orgasm from piv so...)


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

inmyprime said:


> I wouldn’t take these things personally.


I don't take these things personally. I have a very happy marriage of 28 years and my wife and I are having more and better sex than ever before.

I'll skip the usual reference to how huge *my* penis is.

I feel that there's about as much need in the world for praising large, beautiful penises as there is for telling Playboy models how sexy they are. In each case, we aren't telling them anything they don't already know.

I do feel there's no good reason for making people with sexual insecurities even more insecure, especially when there's not a damn thing they can do about it.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

anastasia6 said:


> I don't think it matters. Frankly the erect size doesn't really matter. I mean if it was really small yeah that would suck but men are way more into the size of penises then most women I know.


You are probably right. So, where does this insecurity come from in men? If women really aren’t that concerned, where do men get the idea that they have to be swinging a roll of bologna to be satisfying? Is it movies ? Is this something relatively new or been since time began? Did Washington’s and Lincoln’s generation worry about it?


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

southbound said:


> You are probably right. So, where does this insecurity come from in men? If women really aren’t that concerned, where do men get the idea that they have to be swinging a roll of bologna to be satisfying? Is it movies ? Is this something relatively new or been since time began? Did Washington’s and Lincoln’s generation worry about it?


Did Washington and Lincoln's generations worry about it?

Unfortunately, back then men probably thought that women were never satisfied sexually that, if they were, they were *****s.

So that's not exactly a positive and not a time we'd want to go back to.

My honest opinion is that some women do care and, for some, it's not a matter of preference. It's a matter of need. At least one woman on TAM requires a certain penis shape to have orgasms (so I'm hardly going to "blame" her for it). Other women DO prefer larger (see FW), others would prefer larger but are willing to do with less (not exactly good news for their husbands, but what are you going to do?). Some don't like them too large (on a regular basis at least). Most women, I suspect, just don't care as long it's not abnormally small or large.

So, men DO worry too much about it. But, it's not a concern based on nothing. Very small and it's going to matter; a little less than average and it's going to matter sometimes. And no, I don't think women have an equivalent worry that some body part they possess and can do absolutely nothing about will prevent their partner from being sexually satisfied.

I think women are talking about it more out of a combination of revenge for what they see as male judgments of women's bodies and because they're trying think it makes them "sexually liberated" and cool.

But really, it's only going to make men with average or smaller than average penises feel bad about themselves and lack the confidence needed to approach potential relationships with women.

And it'll give the guys with big ****s even more reason to be happy about themselves (which, for the most part, isn't going to do woman any good).


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

No


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Hmm, I guess decent - barely, but not good and certainly not great. 



Buddy400 said:


> snip
> In order to give a man a decent sexual experience, a woman basically just needs to show up and demonstrate some enthusiasm.
> snip
> .


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

I think men confused size with satisfaction. Women hope, like and should expect to be satisfied. A man who knows what he's doing and isn't selfish can accomplish this with almost any size.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

southbound said:


> You are probably right. So, where does this insecurity come from in men? If women really aren’t that concerned, where do men get the idea that they have to be swinging a roll of bologna to be satisfying? Is it movies ? Is this something relatively new or been since time began? Did Washington’s and Lincoln’s generation worry about it?


Widespread porn use has made many feel more inadequate. Porn actors and actresses aren't the normal average people.

I honestly couldn't care less. I didn't even see my husbands penis till we got married. It was the man I was marrying not just one part of his anatomy. To make that one part as a sort of 'idol' seems mad. 
If the man is sexy and attentive, it wont matter, or shouldn't


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

I don’t why anyone should feel shame or inadequacy about their parts. The human body in all shapes and sizes is beautiful thing. But, I get that our society has made vast perversions of it, the naked body. 


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## I shouldnthave (Apr 11, 2018)

Some are showers, not growers, and others are growers not showers.

To me, it makes no difference.

As for Michael Angelou's David, there is some interesting history:

?Why do all old statues have such small penises?? - How To Talk About Art History



> There are two main reasons why ancient Greek statues have small penises:
> 
> Firstly, they’re flaccid. If you compare their size to most flaccid male penises, they are actually not significantly smaller than real-life penises tend to be.
> 
> Secondly, cultural values about male beauty were completely different back then. Today, big penises are seen as valuable and manly, but back then, most evidence points to the fact that small penises were considered better than big ones.


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## Handy (Jul 23, 2017)

From what I have read women might have more insecurities about certain parts of their bodies than men do. I know my W was self conscious about her small breast size and thought if her boobs were larger it would make me pay more attention to her.

I recently read a medical forum about clitoris size. It appears that a little too much androgen causes the clitoris to form into a mini penis sometimes. Some of these women enjoy sex more than average but many of them are effected by Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS). Some even want to have part of their clit removed or made smaller. Of the more realistic posts, most women said their man just loves the big clit and very few women said a man shamed them for having a big clit. 


So smallish penis, smallish boobs, to bigger clits, there are a lot of things that worry people.


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## PigglyWiggly (May 1, 2018)

I shouldnthave said:


> Some are showers, not growers, and others are growers not showers.
> 
> To me, it makes no difference.
> 
> ...


When you see many sculptures in Italy, they may have their genitals covered depending on the Pope and whomever else determines if these things are "appropriate".


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## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

@Buddy400, I think this post below is well written, and very cogent. I offer kudos to you for it. 

I think that you make many great points that are very valid. And I think that a lot of men are way too hung up on the size of things. But that is fairly easy for me to say, based on the fact that I am slightly above average, and somewhat thick. But I am by no means a way bigger than average guy. If a guy had a really small or thin penis I would imaging that would be horrible. 

And at the same time, I have no problem with women wanting what they want, if average is fine or better, great, or if they want a huge one all of the time, well good for them. 

For me, this is something that I have never worried about and really never will. And I am sure that some HUGE guys have had more than one experience of it "just not fitting". One of my sons who for what ever reason is really large actually had that experience with a girl that he really loved. Suffice to say that, he had to break up with that girl. I only hope newly wed wife is actually able to accommodate him comfortably. Most of all, I hope he knows how to use it. I have not asked so who knows. 

For me, my size has not been as issue one way or another. Some women might have had some trouble with the girth, but not much. It is nothing I have ever worried about. 

But some people are a better match than others. My GF and I are actually anatomically a perfect match. This is the first time I have been with a woman where we matched this perfectly. She is tall but petite, I am long enough that I hit her cervix the way that she likes it, but I have to be careful not to hurt her. But most of all, since she is almost totally a PIV and gspot girl, I am thick enough that I can hit her gspot from variety of angles. So we are perfect together. Plus being deeply in love is a huge part of our sexual chemistry. 

But I think your post is pretty spot on...



Buddy400 said:


> Oh goody, another opportunity for FW to be insensitive and cruel.
> 
> I can only think of two reasons why you would do what you always do when the subject of penis size comes up; either you think that brutal honesty is needed or it's revenge for seeing men making women feel inadequate about their bodies.
> 
> ...


I also think that @Faithful Wife 's post is super good. I think she has the right to like any size penis or all sizes that she wants. 

I will say this though, I know that many insecure men may talk bad about this aspect or that aspect of a woman's anatomy, but I never have. 

Further, I think that all woman are beautiful. Short, tall, thin, larger, medium, whatever, I find all of them beautiful.

I also think that in a relationship that a man's responsibility is to make his woman feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. Because, if you are in a relationship, she should be the most beautiful woman in the world to you. 

And beauty is so much more than outward beauty. Now, my GF at 60 is truly a physically beautiful woman, physically. No her body is not perfect, but it is outstanding in so many ways. She is delicious. But he inner beauty surpasses he physical beauty by miles. 

Her eyes and what lies behind them leave me breathless sometime, the love, the kind heart, the caring not just for me but for everyone, her strength, everything comes out through her eyes. Just a wonderful woman, and beautiful, inside and out. 

And, I am just saying, that she, at her age, has perfect natural breasts. How they look that way at her age is the mystery of the ages but they are great. 

But to my point, I think women are fascinating and beautiful in general, and I guess that if you feel that way about men and their attributes, that is great...



Faithful Wife said:


> @Buddy400
> 
> It is true that I feel there is a double standard where it comes to men’s egos and the way people tend to protect them, versus women’s egos which people tend to expect us to be used to hearing all about the many ways men love women’s bodies....men are entitled to porn but many believe women don’t want certain entitlements.
> 
> ...


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

inmyprime said:


> Also unless you are more on the nympho side, I’m not sure many women are that attracted to the penis visually (at least not to the extend as men are aroused by vajajays. And lets face it: there are no ugly vaginas). I don’t think it features that high on their list of priorities of what they look for in a mate. At some point, if they have a penis at all, it’s already pretty good. And if it’s visible, it’s a cherry  on the cake (or elephant’s trunk, depending on the angle).
> Guys: don’t worry about it. Spend more time listening to your wife and nodding along understandably whenever she blabbers on about something that bothers her: way more important than your peepee.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Disagree on the ugly vaginas part. (Though im guessing you mean vulva, but get what you mean)

There are some that are just ewwww. Wtf is up with that? Same with peens. Some are kinda wtf looking while others are truly pleasing. Same with breasts, asses, etc.

On average? We dont have anything to worry about with the opposite sex. Its what's between the ears that will ultimately matter most. But to act like some guys wont like the TRULY flat non existent breast? Or some women wont like the teeny weeny uh weenie? But that also applies to the very large breasts. Some guys (myself included) will be turned off by VERY large breasts. Its just too damn much. And some women wont like truly large cocks. They are probably just too damn much. But on average? We are all good.

I think that contributes to these threads popping up so frequently. People dont want to say that on average its all good. BUT.........


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

Here's what I think the deal with penis size is, you can break it down into 2 categories. First is relationship penis. In a long term relationship or marriage, a woman is typically more affected by her emotions and affection towards her man so penis size is going to be less important. 

But I think if you asked women to build the perfect guy for one night of hot sex when they got to the penis they would beef up the size to well above average length and girth. 

That doesn't mean that sex with a large guy they feel nothing for is going to be better than their average husband they adore but given the choice for purely sexual purposes they will gravitate towards larger. 

On flaccid size a couple of woman I have know have said they prefer a guy who can hang. Meaning when flaccid it's long enough that the tip hangs below the balls. If a guy is shorter flaccid it poke sits higher and almost sticks out a little.


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## happiness27 (Nov 14, 2012)

Frankly, the larger penises are sometimes more the issue. I've only got *so* much room and a really large penis is going to hurt. I'm betting that there are some guys with very large penises who have a difficult time finding women to have sex with. 

What I find interesting about this thread is finding out how much guys ruminate about their penises. I have also talked to my husband about this just to get a guy perspective. Since I didn't grow up with a penis, I'm kind of fascinated by all this dialogue that was never a part of my growing up or most of my adult life. What guys think and do is completely foreign to me - but I'm interested. 

To the question, does it matter what size the penis is flaccid, for me, personally, having an education at least in part on human anatomy and physiology, I'm thinking more from a science standpoint. It's just the function of physiology and how the body works. What the body does to make things work in different circumstances - flaccid, erect, in-between - just makes sense.

I have had sex in a past relationship where the man was larger. I was surprised I could handle it as well as I did. Yes, I liked it. But I don't crave it now that relationship has passed. I don't know why. It's just not present in my mind. Besides, there were other things about that sexual relationship that made it work - so just having a larger penis would not have been the only draw.

My husband and I fit together perfectly. I do consider myself lucky in that regard. If he was overly large (and there are a lot of times where he is at my limit), that would be uncomfortable. What it looks like flaccid? It's human anatomy.


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

BluesPower said:


> And at the same time, I have no problem with women wanting what they want, if average is fine or better, great, or if they want a huge one all of the time, well good for them.


Just to be clear. I also have absolutely no problem with women wanting whatever they want.

It's just that, if I were talking to a group of women that included some overweight women and some small breasted women, I wouldn't go on and on about how attractive I find slim women with large breasts. It's just a matter of politeness.


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

happyhusband0005 said:


> Here's what I think the deal with penis size is, you can break it down into 2 categories. First is relationship penis. In a long term relationship or marriage, a woman is typically more affected by her emotions and affection towards her man so penis size is going to be less important.
> 
> But I think if you asked women to build the perfect guy for one night of hot sex when they got to the penis they would beef up the size to well above average length and girth.


That's probably true. However, it goes to the problem men often have with wanting to be the 'hot sex' partner as well as the 'relationship partner'. Men are uncomfortable with there being a difference but, I do believe that most women do see the two differently.

There is nothing to be done about this. Women aren't "wrong" and men are not going to be able to get them to change.

But, the different gender views on this topic ARE worth knowing.

Women would be best to keep this in mind when discussing past relationships with their current SO and men need to try and not worry about it so much.


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

happiness27 said:


> Frankly, the larger penises are sometimes more the issue. I've only got *so* much room and a really large penis is going to hurt. I'm betting that there are some guys with very large penises who have a difficult time finding women to have sex with.


Based on my reading of woman's magazines while waiting in doctor's offices, I do find this to be true. 

There seem to be more articles about big **** problems than small **** problems,


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

Handy said:


> From what I have read women might have more insecurities about certain parts of their bodies than men do.


I would think that women have a LOT more insecurities about their bodies than men do.

It's just that I don't believe that what they're insecure about would keep them from sexually satisfying their partner (many wives lose their libido due to body image problems, but their husbands still want to have sex with them).

Penis size, or lack of it, most definitely CAN result in an inability to sexually satisfy one's partner.

In summary; men are less insecure about their body parts than women but have better reasons to be insecure when they are.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

Buddy400 said:


> Based on my reading of woman's magazines while waiting in doctor's offices, I do find this to be true.
> 
> There seem to be more articles about big **** problems than small **** problems,


Probably because so many magazine editors are men. LOL In the end it really doesn't matter if you suck in bed so guys should focus more on that. 

I think it is also perception, I read a study once that presented women with various size dildos and asked them which one they thought was the best size for them. This was based purely on look and feel with hands no intimate use. The basic outcome was women preferred about 7.5" long and about 6" circumference. Again based solely on appearance. 

But women I think don't look at men as sex objects so much so penis size becomes a secondary consideration. But in all reality no woman would complain if their average husband went to above average overnight.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

happiness27 said:


> Frankly, the larger penises are sometimes more the issue. I've only got *so* much room and a really large penis is going to hurt. I'm betting that there are some guys with very large penises who have a difficult time finding women to have sex with.



So, lets talk biology here. Preceding and during coitus, there are hormones and paracrines that target tissues of the vagina as well as glands that lend to accommodating penises of varying sizes. As well there are blocks to releases of these chemical messengers tied to the hypothalamus (in charge of our limbic brain). I would imagine that most of the hurt and difficulty associated with larger penis may be just that emotional aspect that block the chemical messengers that allow for full accommodation. 

In the beginning my wife was extremely hesitant (I am above average) and sex was very difficult for us. It took time for her to recognize and become comfortable with size. As such, we have a very comfortable and active sex life (even 24 years into our marriage in our mid to late 50s). I would not say she somehow desires big penises as much as she is comfortable with me as her partner. This is why I don’t think a guy should be hung up on his size. So much of this is tied into our limbic brain and not about our size. We can’t do much about these things and I find it equally untrue to suggest guy with size are at a disadvantage as are guys who are average a little below average. Our brain is our largest sex organ, so why obsess about breast, penises and the like. 

The way in which investigations can decipher rape from consensual sex is based on the chemical signals that allow for accommodation of a penis regardless of size. When the signals are not there, most any size will hurt and be uncomfortable and may cause some tearing of tissue that results in unusual amounts of hemorrhaging. These types of things are not seen in consensual coitus situations often regardless of size. 



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