# Am I Overreacting? Family Problem



## Justsurviving85 (Nov 8, 2020)

Thanks for taking time to give me your thoughts. I’m going to try to keep this as short as possible. 
My wife and I have been married for 36.5 years. We married at age 20 and both just turned 57. Our entire marriage my wife has been the picture of good health. She exercises, eats as close to healthy as anyone I know. She has never smoked or tried any type of drug. You can count on your hands the number of frozen drinks she has consumed. When she was 40-45 years old she was still getting her ID checked entering casinos.
The day before Thanksgiving 2020 she was surprisingly diagnosed with a VERY aggressive form of breast cancer. 
After completing chemo, surgery and radiation her scan in June showed no cancer anywhere in her body. She completed another scan this week and the cancer has returned in several spots. Next week she will have to begin another form of chemo in which she will probably remain on. The first round of chemo made her terribly sick to the point that most days were spent in her big chair or in bed.
We finally convinced her to at least try the cannabis gummies for nausea relief. I drove 5.5 hours to the closest place to legally buy the gummies. So a total of 11 hours round trip so when I arrived home it was getting dark and she eat a 10 mg. About one hour before going to bed she took one more. When I woke up around 6:30 a.m. the next morning she was already in the kitchen cooking breakfast. I was amazed. Tomorrow I will be making the trip again so she has them to start treatment. I always take someone with me so they can also buy the out of state daily limit. Each person that goes with me means I don’t have to make another trip for an extra 3.5 - 4 weeks.
This will be trip number 5. Out of the 5 trips I have ask my brother who is a pastor and 8 years older to ride with me there and back each time. He has only accepted one time. I ask again for this trip and he used work as an excuse which was insane since I hired him there and just retired from the business to be with my wife. It’s a family business so taking off is no problem so he’s just finding any excuse he can.

I know how I would react if the roles were reversed and can’t understand how he can simply lie to prevent riding up there and back. We have always got along well and thought we were close but hell will freeze before I ever ask anything else of him. The true colors are showing clear.
Am I overreacting?


----------



## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

He probably is very uncomfortable from a moral point of view with the idea of him getting cannabis even if it's for a good cause.


----------



## Justsurviving85 (Nov 8, 2020)

Rob_1 said:


> He probably is very uncomfortable from a moral point of view with the idea of him getting cannabis even if it's for a good cause.


I wish that were true and that’s a great point but he’s actually very supportive of legalizing it for medical use and has taken it himself


----------



## 467gh-dre (Dec 11, 2021)

Try Delta-8 gummies - similar effect, less of a "high" though. Should be legal where you are so you can mail order them and save yourself a drive.


----------



## Justsurviving85 (Nov 8, 2020)

467gh-dre said:


> Try Delta-8 gummies - similar effect, less of a "high" though. Should be legal where you are so you can mail order them and save yourself a drive.


Thank you. I will definitely look into it and give it a try. If two people go with me we can buy enough to last her a pretty good amount of time but this trip came unexpected so it is what it is. 
I appreciate the info


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

If she feels well enough maybe she would enjoy a road trip with you? Or do you have another sibling or friend you can go with? 
Have you asked him straight out why he doesn't want to go?

Btw 11 hours straight driving in one day seems madness. That's why lorry drivers have limits on how many hours they can drive. You could end up falling asleep at the wheel. Could you stay the night?

My Sister in law has been having chemo for breast cancer for nearly a year. The types of chemo do vary in their affects. The one she is on now doesn't make her feel nearly as bad as the first one she was on so hopefully your wife may not feel the nausea this time and won't need the drugs.


----------



## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

does your state allow medical marijuana? She would certainly qualify for that.

and i believe in any state you can get prescription Marinol.





__





Marinol Oral: Uses, Side Effects, Interactions, Pictures, Warnings & Dosing - WebMD


Find patient medical information for Marinol oral on WebMD including its uses, side effects and safety, interactions, pictures, warnings and user ratings.




www.webmd.com






your preacher relative probably thinks pot is "The Devil's Weed", or something similar to that from the 1960's!


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Talker67 said:


> does your state allow medical marijuana? She would certainly qualify for that.
> 
> and i believe in any state you can get prescription Marinol.
> 
> ...


He did say that he doesn't think that and has even taken it himself.


----------



## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

If you can't legally buy them in your state, can you legally possess them?


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

manwithnoname said:


> If you can't legally buy them in your state, can you legally possess them?


I was wondering that. Could get into trouble. Its illegal in the UK so wouldn't risk it.


----------



## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Eleven hour road trip? I wouldn't go with you either, I think you are asking way too much of your brother, or anyone honestly. 

Can't get a medical use license where you live?


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

An 11 hr road trip is a lot. 
I think you’re wrong to get upset about it.


----------



## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

Can the doctor authorize use through prescription?


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

manwithnoname said:


> If you can't legally buy them in your state, can you legally possess them?


I wouldn't care about the legality if it relieved my wife's suffering. Technically you are breaking the law by buying them in a legal state. It is still illegal at a federal level which is why cannabis remains pretty much an all cash business.

I know what the OP is getting at. They will only allow you to purchase so much per person at a time, so the more people you have the more you can go home with at one shot. 

@Justsurviving85 Sorry to hear about your wife's condition. I don't think you are over reacting. You are under a lot of stress too, going through this with your wife. Have you completely explained this to your brother and why it is so important? Maybe even explain, that 11 hours driving for one person can actually be a safety risk for you. It would be nice to split the driving with someone else. Is there anyone else in your family, or friends, that could go with you? And as others have said, have you explored medical marijuana in your state. There only something like a dozen states that still don't permit medical marijuana. I assume you must be in one of them?


----------



## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

When you drive for 5.5 hours to buy gummies. Isn't there more than one shop you could visit? In my town there are like 10 shops


----------



## re16 (Oct 9, 2012)

Is your brother married / does he have a family? Being required to take an 11 hour trip for gummies once a month seems excessive. 

Why wouldn’t you go for a couple days hit different stores, and get like a years supply..?

I would be annoyed at the request and the fact you can’t figure out something that seems pretty simple on your own.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Rob_1 said:


> He probably is very uncomfortable from a moral point of view with the idea of him getting cannabis even if it's for a good cause.


Kindly disagree, no, that's ridiculous. Got to be something else.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Hey I have nothing moral against cannabis and used to smoke it when I was young, but I wouldn't go with anyone to go get it. That's asking too much. You don't have a right to ask that.

I'm really sorry to hear about your wife.


----------



## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

OP, maybe you can find someone else who makes the trip? I'm sure someone going anyway would be happy if you paid their gas money, to get you your supply as well. Someone trustworthy, obviously.


----------



## Justsurviving85 (Nov 8, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> If she feels well enough maybe she would enjoy a road trip with you? Or do you have another sibling or friend you can go with?
> Have you asked him straight out why he doesn't want to go?
> 
> Btw 11 hours straight driving in one day seems madness. That's why lorry drivers have limits on how many hours they can drive. You could end up falling asleep at the wheel. Could you stay the night?
> ...


I agree it’s not the most fun experience I have had but if you have someone to talk to it’s not awful. Yes when she’s feeling like it we have talked about doing just as you suggested and stay the night. This also will allow us another day to buy the out of state limit. 
I have a few questions about the friend you mentioned and her treatment if you have time


----------



## Justsurviving85 (Nov 8, 2020)

Talker67 said:


> does your state allow medical marijuana? She would certainly qualify for that.
> 
> and i believe in any state you can get prescription Marinol.
> 
> ...


It was just approved November 2021 for medical use. We live in Alabama and I was shocked it passed but true to Alabama form they were almost required to screw something up. 😂 As of now it’s not available but when it is they have made it as challenging as possible. Anyone wanting cannabis treatment must first be placed on traditional narcotic pain meds which makes zero sense and if this doesn’t work you are allowed to be treated with cannabis. Once approved it’s only available in pill form, a form of tincture, injection at an approved location. No gummies, no actual plant sales and so forth. 
Hopefully the pill form will work for her. If you all only knew my conservative wife you would probably get at least a smile out of her even trying this 😂


----------



## Justsurviving85 (Nov 8, 2020)

Evinrude58 said:


> An 11 hr road trip is a lot.
> I think you’re wrong to get upset about it.


Fair enough and that’s why I’m asking. I know that right now my normal emotions and so forth aren’t with me. 
im trying to be as strong as possible for her to be assured it’s not all doom and gloom


----------



## Justsurviving85 (Nov 8, 2020)

Benbutton said:


> Can the doctor authorize use through prescription?


Not until later this year


----------



## Justsurviving85 (Nov 8, 2020)

Anastasia6 said:


> When you drive for 5.5 hours to buy gummies. Isn't there more than one shop you could visit? In my town there are like 10 shops


Yes and that’s what we do but there is only two stores. Before someone tells me yes I already know that’s actually illegal but in times like this you do what you have to.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Justsurviving85 said:


> I agree it’s not the most fun experience I have had but if you have someone to talk to it’s not awful. Yes when she’s feeling like it we have talked about doing just as you suggested and stay the night. This also will allow us another day to buy the out of state limit.
> I have a few questions about the friend you mentioned and her treatment if you have time


Of course. I may take a while to reply as I should be asleep! My sister in law has had 2 different types of chemo over the last 9-10 months and will start radiotherapy soon. She will then be on hormone therapy. Ask if you want to know more.


----------



## Justsurviving85 (Nov 8, 2020)

re16 said:


> Is your brother married / does he have a family? Being required to take an 11 hour trip for gummies once a month seems excessive.
> 
> Why wouldn’t you go for a couple days hit different stores, and get like a years supply..?
> 
> I would be annoyed at the request and the fact you can’t figure out something that seems pretty simple on your own.


First you have the time frame wrong but even if it was correct and you are annoyed by someone asking for help I wouldn’t be asking you. She doesn’t take but one or two each day but a years supply would be next to impossible. There are two stores and yes we go to both which BTW is frowned on but doable. I try to take someone with me so I can be at home with her that night. Since her treatment we have made one trip to our beach condo which is a similar drive south. We stayed 3 nights and came home and she was honestly drained for the next 2-3 days so right now her going with me isn’t good for her. 
Last but not least is the fact that he has never hesitated to ask for my help on countless occasions. I don’t mind and will do what I can to help him anytime. That’s just what family and friends do


----------



## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

Justsurviving85 said:


> Yes and that’s what we do but there is only two stores. Before someone tells me yes I already know that’s actually illegal but in times like this you do what you have to.


There are only two stores to the town you drive. How many towns are there within another 1 hour?
seems like a 12 hours trip for 2 times the amount would be good.

Don't know what part of alabama you are in but florida has medical marajana and there are plenty of stores.

Also like someone said have you tried online sales?


----------



## Justsurviving85 (Nov 8, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> Of course. I may take a while to reply as I should be asleep! My sister in law has had 2 different types of chemo over the last 9-10 months and will start radiotherapy soon. She will then be on hormone therapy. Ask if you want to know more.


You say two different types of chemo were given. Was this on an alternating schedule or one for so long and then changed to the other. My wife was also given two. One for so many weeks followed by a different one. After chemo the tumor was basically gone so that was followed with a double mastectomy and later radiation to that area. Her blood work has been great and her cancer marker has drastically gone down well into normal range. Her June 2021 scan looked perfect. We were shocked to see her scan from last week


----------



## Justsurviving85 (Nov 8, 2020)

Anastasia6 said:


> There are only two stores to the town you drive. How many towns are there within another 1 hour?
> seems like a 12 hours trip for 2 times the amount would be good.
> 
> Don't know what part of alabama you are in but florida has medical marajana and there are plenty of stores.
> ...


We are close to Huntsville and yes that’s correct on the stores. I’m going to look deeper into the next closest city with a store but when I begin making this trip it was roughly another 2 hours to the next dispensary. This could have changed


----------



## Justsurviving85 (Nov 8, 2020)

manwithnoname said:


> OP, maybe you can find someone else who makes the trip? I'm sure someone going anyway would be happy if you paid their gas money, to get you your supply as well. Someone trustworthy, obviously.


That’s a great thought and would love to find someone but as of now I don’t have a clue


----------



## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

Justsurviving85 said:


> We are close to Huntsville and yes that’s correct on the stores. I’m going to look deeper into the next closest city with a store but when I begin making this trip it was roughly another 2 hours to the next dispensary. This could have changed


Well you are 6 hours from tallahassee


----------



## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

But you are even closer to Georgia


----------



## re16 (Oct 9, 2012)

Justsurviving85 said:


> First you have the time frame wrong but even if it was correct and you are annoyed by someone asking for help I wouldn’t be asking you. She doesn’t take but one or two each day but a years supply would be next to impossible. There are two stores and yes we go to both which BTW is frowned on but doable. I try to take someone with me so I can be at home with her that night. Since her treatment we have made one trip to our beach condo which is a similar drive south. We stayed 3 nights and came home and she was honestly drained for the next 2-3 days so right now her going with me isn’t good for her.
> Last but not least is the fact that he has never hesitated to ask for my help on countless occasions. I don’t mind and will do what I can to help him anytime. That’s just what family and friends do


Well he’s obviously annoyed and you are asking him and complaining about him.

I think at nearly 60 years old, you are resourceful enough to solve this without having to burden anyone.

You didn’t answer the question, Does your brother have a family?


----------



## Justsurviving85 (Nov 8, 2020)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Hey I have nothing moral against cannabis and used to smoke it when I was young, but I wouldn't go with anyone to go get it. That's asking too much. You don't have a right to ask that.
> 
> I'm really sorry to hear about your wife.


Thank you. Please explain why you think it’s too much to ask. I’m not saying you are wrong I’m just wondering. Maybe my family is strange but for as long as I can remember we have all helped each other. If someone needs something that’s what we do. It’s not breaking new ground and my sister and I both have done many things for him through the years. There were times he ask and others we did without being ask. Just one example is he was forced to have a very extensive surgery in Tulsa Oklahoma. As he got close to being able to come home we flew out to visit him and then gave him and his wife our plane tickets which they changed into their names (this was around 1986) so they could fly home and we drove his car 12.5 hours back home for him


----------



## Justsurviving85 (Nov 8, 2020)

manwithnoname said:


> If you can't legally buy them in your state, can you legally possess them?


No, it’s not legal to possess them in this state but that’s not even an issue. Legal or not after seeing the difference it makes at times I’m not at all worried about that aspect. It’s my wife and she has cancer. There isn’t much I can do to help her but when there is something I’m going to do whatever it takes


----------



## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Kindly disagree, no, that's ridiculous. Got to be something else.


I said it because his brother is a pastor, and you know how things can be with religious people. 

Nonetheless OP said:



Justsurviving85 said:


> I wish that were true and that’s a great point but he’s actually very supportive of legalizing it for medical use and has taken it himself


So we know that that's not the issue.


----------



## Justsurviving85 (Nov 8, 2020)

BigDaddyNY said:


> I wouldn't care about the legality if it relieved my wife's suffering. Technically you are breaking the law by buying them in a legal state. It is still illegal at a federal level which is why cannabis remains pretty much an all cash business.
> 
> I know what the OP is getting at. They will only allow you to purchase so much per person at a time, so the more people you have the more you can go home with at one shot.
> 
> @Justsurviving85 Sorry to hear about your wife's condition. I don't think you are over reacting. You are under a lot of stress too, going through this with your wife. Have you completely explained this to your brother and why it is so important? Maybe even explain, that 11 hours driving for one person can actually be a safety risk for you. It would be nice to split the driving with someone else. Is there anyone else in your family, or friends, that could go with you? And as others have said, have you explored medical marijuana in your state. There only something like a dozen states that still don't permit medical marijuana. I assume you must be in one of them?


You nailed it and as I just said to someone else. There isn’t much I can do to help her. I have only been able to basically watch as she feels too sick to eat or on a good days eats a little bit only to throw it up. I have watched her pain as her beautiful dark hair started to slowly come out. I could only watch as my daughter helped her with a buzz cut. I can make this drive from time to time and return with a product that helps her nausea by at least 75%. It improves her sleep by 90% and as bonus also cuts her pain in half. After seeing the difference it makes on most day I would walk there and back if it was the only way to get it. The legality of it is the least of my worries


----------



## Justsurviving85 (Nov 8, 2020)

re16 said:


> Well he’s obviously annoyed and you are asking him and complaining about him.
> 
> I think at nearly 60 years old, you are resourceful enough to solve this without having to burden anyone.
> 
> You didn’t answer the question, Does your brother have a family?


Yes he has a wife and two daughters who are both married and moved out. So what’s your point?


----------



## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

Justsurviving85 said:


> Yes he has a wife and two daughters who are both married and moved out. So what’s your point?


I don't know what his point is. 

But several have said this is a lot to ask. the 11 hour drive is one thing but yes family might do that.

Just because you brother wishes it were legal in your state or that he would like to do it himself doesn't mean he is willing to put his life on the line for it.

If he were caught buying, or possessing these gummies in your state it would be illegal and he could lose his career/calling.


----------



## Justsurviving85 (Nov 8, 2020)

Anastasia6 said:


> Well you are 6 hours from tallahassee
> View attachment 82357


Sadly it doesn’t matter how far we live from a dispensary in Florida or any other state. The problem there is these states are only medical use states. In order to receive a cannabis card giving someone the right to buy medical cannabis the first requirement is you must be a resident of that state. You would be required to show your Florida Drivers license or ID card along with something such as electric bill or water bill matching the address shown. 
it’s not as simple as driving across the state line and finding a doctor


----------



## CrAzYdOgLaDy (Mar 22, 2021)

If a family member or friend asked me to go under these circumstances, I would definitely help them as much as I can. I would suggest staying overnight though, and buying more the next day. Could the store deliver to you? Would they limit an order by post? If they do delivery you could ask it to be posted to several addresses to who you 100% trust, if its limited. I hope things work out for you both. I'm hoping the legalise it here in the UK soon. It would sure help me with many things and wouldn't need these meds anymore. Good luck and keep us updated.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Justsurviving85 said:


> Thank you. Please explain why you think it’s too much to ask. I’m not saying you are wrong I’m just wondering. Maybe my family is strange but for as long as I can remember we have all helped each other. If someone needs something that’s what we do. It’s not breaking new ground and my sister and I both have done many things for him through the years. There were times he ask and others we did without being ask. Just one example is he was forced to have a very extensive surgery in Tulsa Oklahoma. As he got close to being able to come home we flew out to visit him and then gave him and his wife our plane tickets which they changed into their names (this was around 1986) so they could fly home and we drove his car 12.5 hours back home for him


If you're bringing it in from out of state OR buying it locally on the street, it's illegal and the latter could be dangerous. You can't ask anyone to break the law for you. You could get stopped and he could get a criminal record. Plus it is a lot to ask even if you were driving out of state for McDonald's. So yeah, it's too much to expect. Sorry. I know you need help and asking is the way to get it, but no one is obligated and you shouldn't hold it against them. I would not do that for anyone. 

And as far as favors you've done him or anyone else voluntarily without being asked, you can't expect people to reciprocate. If at the time you had said, I'll expect you to drive me out of town for marijuana in exchange, he likely would have said, No, thanks, I'll manage.


----------



## Justsurviving85 (Nov 8, 2020)

Anastasia6 said:


> I don't know what his point is.
> 
> But several have said this is a lot to ask. the 11 hour drive is one thing but yes family might do that.
> 
> ...


I appreciate the thought. I really do. Please just take my word for it. That plays no part in it at all. I’m so sure of that I would bet my home, vehicles and beach condo that it has zero effect on the thinking. 
As I made the drive today with my brother-in-law I thought long and hard about it. The only reason I can come up with is the ride effects him much worse than it does me. I guess my biggest thing I simply can’t share other than to say for each time in life I have ask him for any form of help I would guess he has ask me at least 5 times. The thing is I don’t mind. He also knows 24 hours a day, 365 days a year I’m here should he need anything. I’m not bragging because it’s nothing to brag about. As I keep saying to me it’s just how we should treat not only our family but our friends and neighbors


----------



## Justsurviving85 (Nov 8, 2020)

DownByTheRiver said:


> If you're bringing it in from out of state OR buying it locally on the street, it's illegal and the latter could be dangerous. You can't ask anyone to break the law for you. You could get stopped and he could get a criminal record. Plus it is a lot to ask even if you were driving out of state for McDonald's. So yeah, it's too much to expect. Sorry. I know you need help and asking is the way to get it, but no one is obligated and you shouldn't hold it against them. I would not do that for anyone.
> 
> And as far as favors you've done him or anyone else voluntarily without being asked, you can't expect people to reciprocate. If at the time you had said, I'll expect you to drive me out of town for marijuana in exchange, he likely would have said, No, thanks, I'll manage.


Ok if you get stopped and the cannabis is found the ONLY way he would be charged is if I refused to claim all of it. If neither of us claim it then we both would definitely be charged. I wouldn’t hesitate to claim it. 
when I did things for him I never did any expecting some form of repayment. I told that just to show that we as a pretty large extended family do things helping each other all the time. Had he not told me multiple times that I need to let him know when I’m going again and he would go with me I wouldn’t have considered asking him. It worked out. I have a great brother-in-law that was married to my sister that passed away. I didn’t even have to ask. He volunteered


----------



## Justsurviving85 (Nov 8, 2020)

CrAzYdOgLaDy said:


> If a family member or friend asked me to go under these circumstances, I would definitely help them as much as I can. I would suggest staying overnight though, and buying more the next day. Could the store deliver to you? Would they limit an order by post? If they do delivery you could ask it to be posted to several addresses to who you 100% trust, if its limited. I hope things work out for you both. I'm hoping the legalise it here in the UK soon. It would sure help me with many things and wouldn't need these meds anymore. Good luck and keep us updated.


Thank you. You are my kind of person. I can swear on my life that if the roles were reversed I wouldn’t even blink . I will also go further for all those thinking he is considering the risk. Again if the roles were reversed and we did get caught with it . My first thought would be oh me this isn’t good but my second thought would be about the condition of his wife. When that came to my mind I would claim it all to eliminate any chance of him not being able to be there with her and for her


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Justsurviving85 said:


> Ok if you get stopped and the cannabis is found the ONLY way he would be charged is if I refused to claim all of it. If neither of us claim it then we both would definitely be charged. I wouldn’t hesitate to claim it.
> when I did things for him I never did any expecting some form of repayment. I told that just to show that we as a pretty large extended family do things helping each other all the time. Had he not told me multiple times that I need to let him know when I’m going again and he would go with me I wouldn’t have considered asking him. It worked out. I have a great brother-in-law that was married to my sister that passed away. I didn’t even have to ask. He volunteered


Why do you think the only way he could be charged is if you said it was yours? I think you are expecting too much of people. I can't expect people to be an extreme giver just because you consider yourself one. I hope you find the support you need to get through this but you can't fight people on this or turn against them for their decisions.


----------



## Justsurviving85 (Nov 8, 2020)

My sweet wife at age 56. She’s now 57 and have been married to her since we were both 20 years old


DownByTheRiver said:


> Why do you think the only way he could be charged is if you said it was yours? I think you are expecting too much of people. I can't expect people to be an extreme giver just because you consider yourself one. I hope you find the support you need to get through this but you can't fight people on this or turn against them for their decisions.


i don’t at all think the only way he could be charged is if you said it was yours. I actually didn’t say anything close to that but did say the only way he COULD BE charged is if I wasn’t willing to claim it all. If I claim it all my brother couldn’t be charged. He wouldn’t be breaking any laws. Another reason I’m fairly sure about this is I know 2 people that has gone through this live, up close and personal


----------



## Justsurviving85 (Nov 8, 2020)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Why do you think the only way he could be charged is if you said it was yours? I think you are expecting too much of people. I can't expect people to be an extreme giver just because you consider yourself one. I hope you find the support you need to get through this but you can't fight people on this or turn against them for their decisions.


----------



## Justsurviving85 (Nov 8, 2020)

You may have posted your opinion but before you put much into it let me be 150% honest and for fact say I HAVE never considered myself an extreme giver or even a large giver. MANY people give their entire life to service and giving. I love to give but I’m a little fish in a huge pond


----------



## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

OP I'm so sorry to hear about your wife, I'm also shocked at the comments saying that you're asking too much, or asking if your brother has a family, what the hell difference does that make??

I wouldn't hesitate to do this drive for a friend, let alone family. I wonder if there is someone who could go with your wife, so you and your co driver could stay overnight and buy double the amount? Then you'd only need to make trip every 2 months?


----------



## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

Justsurviving85 said:


> No, it’s not legal to possess them in this state but that’s not even an issue. Legal or not after seeing the difference it makes at times I’m not at all worried about that aspect. It’s my wife and she has cancer. There isn’t much I can do to help her but when there is something I’m going to do whatever it takes


I understand....I wasn't taking the stance that you shouldn't do it because it was illegal. In fact, I would rag on you if you did *not *do anything you could to help your wife. 

To combine answering your response to my other comment, there must be many others who are travelling many hours for this product, you just have to find who they are. Depending on how often the trips become, at 11 hrs each it's going to wear you out, and that won't help anything. 

As far as your original concern about your brother...you've had mixed replies. Was it just the work excuse, or did he throw another reason in with it? I have a theory that when people give more than one reason for not wanting to do something, often times they just don't want to do it. The second reason is always thrown in there as insurance, in case the first reason wasn't quite strong enough on its own. 

Myself, I would not let it bother me too much, but I would never forget. He may want help one day, and you may just not feel like helping.


----------



## Justsurviving85 (Nov 8, 2020)

frusdil said:


> OP I'm so sorry to hear about your wife, I'm also shocked at the comments saying that you're asking too much, or asking if your brother has a family, what the hell difference does that make??
> 
> I wouldn't hesitate to do this drive for a friend, let alone family. I wonder if there is someone who could go with your wife, so you and your co driver could stay overnight and buy double the amount? Then you'd only need to make trip every 2 months?


Finally someone from a weird family like mine that actually do what we can to help each other out. Those that say I’m expecting too much have yet to address the fact that not once or twice but each time I make a trip and he finds a reason to not go he follows up with The next time you go I would love to go with you. Please let me know when you plan the next trip.
Thanks for the tip and yes she and I have discussed her going with me and staying the night. She has yet to regain anywhere close to what will be her new normal strength. We live about one hour exactly from her doctors and the hospital she used but even at that there are days that the short trip to her appointment and back home completely drains her


----------



## Justsurviving85 (Nov 8, 2020)

For anyone that cares to see the video I put together for her while she was sleeping recovering from her surgery here it is.
YES, I don’t mind at all admitting that when it came to finding a wife I out kicked the coverage 😂😂


----------



## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Kindly disagree, no, that's ridiculous. Got to be something else.


You can not get upset when someone does not like to do something when it crosses over the line of what their morals allow. just because you do not agree with, nor understand, their objection does not give you the right to call their beliefs "ridiculous".

It is this urge to disregard other people's staunch beliefs that might bring down the great country of the USA. You can not say "ridiculous", "racist", "non inclusive", and so on just because someone has a different opinion than you.


----------



## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Justsurviving85 said:


> For anyone that cares to see the video I put together for her while she was sleeping recovering from her surgery here it is.
> YES, I don’t mind at all admitting that when it came to finding a wife I out kicked the coverage 😂😂


wow. that is amazing


----------



## Justsurviving85 (Nov 8, 2020)

Talker67 said:


> You can not get upset when someone does not like to do something when it crosses over the line of what their morals allow. just because you do not agree with, nor understand, their objection does not give you the right to call their beliefs "ridiculous".
> 
> It is this urge to disregard other people's staunch beliefs that might bring down the great country of the USA. You can not say "ridiculous", "racist", "non inclusive", and so on just because someone has a different opinion than you.


Again please read what I have said at least 3 times. This decision has zero, zilch, goose egg nothing to do with his morals. Also many continue to skip over the fact that after each trip he tells me to please let him know when I plan to go again that he wants to go. 
in total seriousness yes he has been a pastor since 1985 and I have never been one. With that said I’m actually more conservative than he is. I would come much closer to having a moral objection to most any issue


Talker67 said:


> wow. that is amazing


Thank you !!! I can’t watch it long. If I do I start to feel those alligator tears rolling out


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Setting aside the legal issues of trying to transport a large quantity across state lines (potential felony?) I can see helping someone in your position who was a good friend or family maybe once. I’d be more concerned at the frequency of the requests and the time consuming drive.

Since you seem to be doing ok financially what about traveling to do her treatment to a state where you can get the product without issues?


----------



## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

OP, did i miss you telling us what state you live in?


----------



## Justsurviving85 (Nov 8, 2020)

Talker67 said:


> OP, did i miss you telling us what state you live in?


It’s in there somewhere but I will save you some time. We live in Alabama about midway between Bham and Huntsville


----------



## Justsurviving85 (Nov 8, 2020)

ccpowerslave said:


> Setting aside the legal issues of trying to transport a large quantity across state lines (potential felony?) I can see helping someone in your position who was a good friend or family maybe once. I’d be more concerned at the frequency of the requests and the time consuming drive.
> 
> Since you seem to be doing ok financially what about traveling to do her treatment to a state where you can get the product without issues?


Her oncologist has referred her to a clinic in Nashville Tennessee to see the oncologist over their clinical trials. We are looking into a couple of other places with huge cancer programs.
The trips aren’t a big problem as long as I have one or two with me.
I’m not directing this statement at you but just chatting. The major part so many are conveniently avoiding is that I have made 5 trips I think. Starting after I returned from trip #1 and after each trip since then he has told me both by text and vocally that he would love to go next time. Had he said I would love to help but the trip is just too much for me I would have be completely fine with it. Below is a copy and paste of the text he sent me last night and I’m including my reply and his follow up

(Brother):Nice! Hopefully I can go next time and probably can work it out if I know a few days in advance

(Me):
Don’t worry about it.### says he can go anytime I need to go and as long as it’s nothing major he can cancel whatever interferes. ###### is gone to the beach today but said he can go most any time. 
I know that’s a rough trip on you so unless something crazy happens I think I will have it covered

(Brother)Ok. I’d still like to go again I would enjoy being with you.

There are so many here that act as if I’m constantly asking him to make that trip and it’s simply not true.


----------



## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

@Justsurviving85, Not sure if I missed it... have you ever conveyed to him directly that these trips are hard and you need him?


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Justsurviving85 said:


> There are so many here that act as if I’m constantly asking him to make that trip and it’s simply not true.


I’m not acting. I’m just saying my appetite for something like this would be once or twice I commit a felony and then you figure it out.


----------



## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

I got big tears rolling after I watched the video. It shows your love for your beautiful wife all these years. Let's hope that she comes 🙏 through.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Justsurviving85 said:


> You say two different types of chemo were given. Was this on an alternating schedule or one for so long and then changed to the other. My wife was also given two. One for so many weeks followed by a different one. After chemo the tumor was basically gone so that was followed with a double mastectomy and later radiation to that area. Her blood work has been great and her cancer marker has drastically gone down well into normal range. Her June 2021 scan looked perfect. We were shocked to see her scan from last week


My sister in law had the stronger chemo for a few months followed by the different one which is less toxic.
She had the operation on her breast before any chemo to remove the lump and tissue round it as well as some of her lymph nodes under her arm where it had spread.
She will shortly start the radiotherapy now.
She has done really well. Got through it with no partner so lives alone. She has a daughter nearby but she works and has small children and with covid she has been very careful about mixing too much with them having no resistance right now. She has a few church friends who have helped with driving her to treatments etc.
She will also have to have hormone therapy after the radiotherapy.

Her faith has helped her cope bless her. No pot here btw! She is tough though, she will come through.


----------



## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

That video is beautiful OP, what a gorgeous family you and your lovely wife have created. Thankyou for sharing.

Could one of your kids stay with your wife at your place while you go? Then you could stay overnight and come back the next day as discussed earlier. Surely one of the adult kids could? And don't say they can't because they have families, they absolutely can.


----------



## Justsurviving85 (Nov 8, 2020)

Rob_1 said:


> I got big tears rolling after I watched the video. It shows your love for your beautiful wife all these years. Let's hope that she comes 🙏 through.


Thank you and you hit it spot on. Married her April 13, 1985 and after that many years the new wore off long ago and at times we probably bore each other but Love her more now than ever. I can’t imagine having done life with anyone else


----------



## Justsurviving85 (Nov 8, 2020)

frusdil said:


> That video is beautiful OP, what a gorgeous family you and your lovely wife have created. Thankyou for sharing.
> 
> Could one of your kids stay with your wife at your place while you go? Then you could stay overnight and come back the next day as discussed earlier. Surely one of the adult kids could? And don't say they can't because they have families, they absolutely can.


Yes, that wouldn’t be a problem at all for our daughter. She lives about 1000 feet up our drive. We gave them 2 ac to build on and love them being close. Our son and his family live about 6.5 hours northeast of us just outside Charlotte NC. 
We may do just as you said.


----------



## Justsurviving85 (Nov 8, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> My sister in law had the stronger chemo for a few months followed by the different one which is less toxic.
> She had the operation on her breast before any chemo to remove the lump and tissue round it as well as some of her lymph nodes under her arm where it had spread.
> She will shortly start the radiotherapy now.
> She has done really well. Got through it with no partner so lives alone. She has a daughter nearby but she works and has small children and with covid she has been very careful about mixing too much with them having no resistance right now. She has a few church friends who have helped with driving her to treatments etc.
> ...


That’s great. I hope she continues to do well. Hormone Therapy doesn’t work with the type of cancer my wife has ( Triple Negative Breast Cancer) and it’s one of the most aggressive forms of breast cancer


----------



## Justsurviving85 (Nov 8, 2020)

anchorwatch said:


> @Justsurviving85, Not sure if I missed it... have you ever conveyed to him directly that these trips are hard and you need him?


No because after each trip he always tells me he wants to go the next time I go. I don’t plan to ask again even though he said to let him know. My brother in law volunteered to go anytime I go plus I have a good friend that said the same


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Justsurviving85 said:


> Yes, that wouldn’t be a problem at all for our daughter. She lives about 1000 feet up our drive. We gave them 2 ac to build on and love them being close. Our son and his family live about 6.5 hours northeast of us just outside Charlotte NC.
> We may do just as you said.


Or at least she could call your daughter if she needs to. As I said my sister in law lives alone and has managed ok.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Justsurviving85 said:


> That’s great. I hope she continues to do well. Hormone Therapy doesn’t work with the type of cancer my wife has ( Triple Negative Breast Cancer) and it’s one of the most aggressive forms of breast cancer


My SIL's cancer is aggressive also. Stage 4. It just depends on the type.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Justsurviving85 said:


> Thank you. Please explain why you think it’s too much to ask. I’m not saying you are wrong I’m just wondering.


What would happen if you were stopped by a cop and the cop found the gummies? What sort of legal ramifications would it have? What would be the crime, the fines, any prison time?

Could it be that your brother is concerned about this?


----------



## Justsurviving85 (Nov 8, 2020)

EleGirl said:


> What would happen if you were stopped by a cop and the cop found the gummies? What sort of legal ramifications would it have? What would be the crime, the fines, any prison time?
> 
> Could it be that your brother is concerned about this?


Not at all. I know this with 150% certainty because he has carried the exact same products in his truck for several days. His wife has family in a state that has both medical and recreational sales and due to pretty bad fall she brought gummies with her on a visit. He brought them to work with him and still had them in his console several days later. 
There is always a possibility of getting stopped and searched but should that happen I would claim it all as mine and he wouldn’t have any problems. I don’t know what the odds are of having your vehicle searched during a stop but I have had my share of speeding tickets plus someone else’s share and as of now they have never searched my vehicle.


----------



## Justsurviving85 (Nov 8, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> My SIL's cancer is aggressive also. Stage 4. It just depends on the type.


I will definitely keep her in my thoughts and prayers . Hope she continues to do so well


----------

