# 2nd day of seperation but living in same home



## Tomas2015 (Oct 30, 2017)

So my wife told me 2 years ago that she did not want children, married 10 years at that time. I gave myself that 2 years to decide if the marriage was worth it, I went through a lot in those 2 years, memories and decisions. I decided recently that I would go to see a counselor by myself, yes we did the marriage counsellor thing but we both felt that nothing was being accomplished. Now, yesterday she said she wanted a separation but due to finances we would stay living together till the spring. Since yesterday, I have been going through a **** load of emotions and trying not to feel like crappie but blaming myself at the same time. Is this a normal feeling? I mean I want this as much as she does but why am I having these thoughts when she is being like everything is fine?


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

She has detached.
You haven't.
It will get better. But it will take a long time.

I really believe that finding someone new is about the only thing other than drugs and time that will help. 

If she wants to separate, SHE should be the one to leave. Don't leave your home.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Don't you just hate that?

You feeling sad, you feeling blue, your mind reeling, too.

And your partner walks about, smiles, sings silently a tune.

They watch your eyes; the sadder they become, the ditty, louder they hum.

This is called punishment for you.
Medicine for them.

If truth be told, their hurt is yours displayed.
Your pain is salve, for their heartache.

They are bound up in their cemented pride.
Never feeling what YOU release, tears into blood red tide.

Their pain is pent up.
Your's by the wayside shall go.

And when you go, are gone.
They will collapse, no eyes to see, to witness their grief.

Bottled up bile remains ever bitter.
It is the release into the red tide that brings new hope, new sweet thoughts, making you fitter.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

It doesnt work being sort of separated in the same home. I know several couples who tried it and it didn't last long. As she wants to end it, ask her to leave asap. It will be better for you.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Agreed... if she wants out of the marriage, then she needs to get out of your home.


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## GuacaColey (Sep 19, 2017)

Evinrude58 said:


> She has detached.
> 
> You haven't.
> 
> ...




Respectfully disagree on the finding someone new part to get through the pain part. 

Agree on everything else.

There was a saying I heard before that if you start dating someone while you're still going through the emotional trauma of divorce, it's like having a broken leg and taking a shot of morphine. You can walk around on your injury without feeling it, but before you know it you've got a bone protruding through your skin and twice the healing time required. 

You're gonna need some time OP. And it's gonna hurt like hell. But better you just face the pain now and come out of this stronger. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

GuacaColey said:


> Respectfully disagree on the finding someone new part to get through the pain part.
> 
> Agree on everything else.
> *
> ...


I agree. It's WAAAAYYYYYY too soon. If you start dating again, you're just going to end up hurting a woman (or multiple women) who doesn't deserve it. Focus on yourself right now. It's going to suck for a while, but it will get better eventually.

As for your STBXW, she needs to get the F out of your house, if she's decided to end the marriage. That's really unfair to you.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

And to the question of where is she going to go? Who the F cares? She can crash on a friend's sofa until she can get her own place.


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