# 3 weeks ago today I found out that MH cheated on me



## lovemylife26 (Mar 21, 2012)

it hurts because we were talking about renewing our vows and were talking about inviting that OW and her husband to it. 
Yeah now that is not happening. We are in the middle of working it out taking on day at a time. He has been very open as to how long 6 weeks and why not happy and vented. If she really was a friend she would of told him to tell me and not get into his pants. The part that really grosses me out that they did it in her van. And he met with her on his lunch and i would call him at times and he would answer while she was doing good knows what to him.
He let me read her email that she sent him and has been letting me check him emails and FB. As I see she deleted herself from FB.
I did thank him and forgave him because I never knew that we had that many problems and I love that we are reconnenting with each. Its like we are dating again. Some days are better than others. 
If i do tell people what happen I hate when they say I'm sorry, don't be. Be happy that we are working it out.
I have a goal is to when I will trust me and I do hope that one day we can renew our vows, I really do wish it was this year but not really sure if Im ready for that.


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## Riverside MFT (Oct 5, 2009)

I'm happy for you that you are working on your marriage. If you do renew your vows, don't invite the OW. She doesn't need to be a part of what you and your husband have together.


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

Good to know that you are willing to R.
Has he been remorseful? I know he has let you see his email etc.
Has he agreed to "renew" vows?

Great part of R depends on him.
In the meantime, take good care of yourself.


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## hisfac (Feb 10, 2012)

Why the heck would you invite your husbands former mistress and her husband to a celebration about renewing your marriage vows?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

hisfac said:


> Why the heck would you invite your husbands former mistress and her husband to a celebration about renewing your marriage vows?


I'm thinking the ceremony and planning to invite them happened before the infidelity was exposed/occurred. But I could be wrong.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hisfac (Feb 10, 2012)

PBear said:


> I'm thinking the ceremony and planning to invite them happened before the infidelity was exposed/occurred. But I could be wrong.
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yes that makes sense.

Can you imagine the OW standing there.. knowing what happened with them?

It's almost beyond belief what levels of deception some people are capable with and how they can live with themselves.

I bet she would have clapped and hugged the two of them after the vow exchange as if it was the best thing that ever happened to them... all the while knowing if the affair hadn't been exposed they would have been hugging each other at some subsequent time.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

hisfac said:


> Yes that makes sense.
> 
> Can you imagine the OW standing there.. knowing what happened with them?
> 
> ...


Most likely that would have happened, but I think the biggest fraud in that case would have been the husband, not the OW.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hisfac (Feb 10, 2012)

PBear said:


> Most likely that would have happened, but I think the biggest fraud in that case would have been the husband, not the OW.
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I agree he's the most at fault but she has no business being there.

Of course the whole thing is over and done anyway but the fact is why would he even consider renewing the vows while he's having an affair? It's such a sham, almost like he's enjoying the deception.

He could have easily said "honey I am just not into doing this whole vow renewal thing" and yet he's all ready to go along with it even though he's cheating on her. Wow.


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## lovemylife26 (Mar 21, 2012)

PBear said:


> I'm thinking the ceremony and planning to invite them happened before the infidelity was exposed/occurred. But I could be wrong.
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Oh yes this was planned before the infidelity was exposed.


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## lovemylife26 (Mar 21, 2012)

I know if I ever see her I will be the bigger person, she on the other hand will not be this I know.


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## lovemylife26 (Mar 21, 2012)

AngryandUsed said:


> Good to know that you are willing to R.
> Has he been remorseful? I know he has let you see his email etc.
> Has he agreed to "renew" vows?
> 
> ...


Thanks. He has been open about everything answers all my questions even if he thinks I should not know about them. 
Yes he has when we are both ready.


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

Sorry you're going through the hurt. I'm glad to know you're using the opportunity to improve your marriage.

Good luck.


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