# Official



## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

and so it ends....

just got back from the courthouse. im divorced.

dunno how I feel. 

all things considered, better than I may have expected given the black hole of depression and fear that consumed me for so long during the initial stages of the affair.

I owe a great debt of gratitude to the people here who helped shake me up and wake up the fighter. Thank you for being here. I only hope to give back some of what was given to me. Thank you TAM.

I am a better man and a better person as a result of your support. Each of your stories and all of the wisdom shared has given me strength to not just endure, but to grow.

It dawned on me that I completely shut down all communication in my own thread (about 10 months ago) once I reached the point when I had both feet under me and the strength to put away my denial and move forward. The tools and advice that I got, along with the strength of knowing I was not alone helped me immeasureably.

FWIW... The chicken salad I made from the sh*t I was served...

I have true 50/50 joint custody of my son (exactly what I wanted)
I kept my home. (hell of a fight for that one)
I pay nothing. No child support/alimony, no assistance with her bankruptcy/debts. 
....

I have clear eyes & a full heart. 

I could honestly tell my son that Daddy did the best he could do, and then some.

Thank you.

~Pit~

ps. I'm a bachelor. If anyone has a SINGLE friend that might have an interest in 30 something, handsome, slightly jaded but impossibly real single parent... Please forward all applications to NoLiars,CHeaters,hussies,floosies,[email protected]

Thanks again. 

pss. Im a butt guy. 

:lol:


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Well, congrats lol. Nice email.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Pit-of-my-stomach said:


> pss. Im a butt guy.


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

Yikes!!! I said Butt, not tractor trailer ! lmao.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

beep beep beep


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## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

My eyes!!!


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

... Kardashian????


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

that_girl said:


> Well, congrats lol.


At least your congrats didnt have a "?"... I got a slew of text messages from all my friends saying "congrats?" lol. 

Strange that im not sure if I should be celebrating or mourning.. ? odd.... lol.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Ding Dong the Wicked Witch is Dead - YouTube


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Welcome to the Other Side, Pit. 
You'll find it's not as bad as you imagined and actually it can be quite fun! 

Take care and don't be a stranger.


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

Almostrecovered said:


> Ding Dong the Wicked Witch is Dead - YouTube


lol. im not mad or angry and dont hate her at all. sorry it ended this way, real shame. but, sh*t happens. lol.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Pit and Jellybeans sittin' a tree....


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

^ LOL. I am still "off the market" though I am single. One divorce was enough to make me not want to even imagine to start dating again. So not anywhere near that yet (if ever).

But if Pit wants to buy me a drink, I am down. I never turn down martinis. We can discuss "What were the craziest TAM stories."


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Jellybeans;496874
But if Pit wants to buy me a drink said:


> I suppose Pit will take you up on that depending on how much of your butt covers the bar stool


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

Jellybeans said:


> Welcome to the Other Side, Pit.
> You'll find it's not as bad as you imagined and actuallky it can be quite fun!
> 
> Take care and don't be a stranger.


Other side? Oh... thats right your D also....

hey.........










*"come here often?" *


Oh... and I couldn't be stranger. It's part of my charm .

LMAO.


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

The court date came and went so quickly. I think it took 5 minutes. I like men myself all shapes and sizes (within reason). Hey whatever moves you, find it.

I'm still taking time off from the dating scene, need to learn to avoid my past choices.

Good luck and may every day be better than the last.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

LOL - AR & Pit, you guys are cracking me up.

I have a lil bit of a bum but it's not anything obnoxious, Kardashian-styles. I am a Latina after all.


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

:rofl::lol: Congrats. Pit. How did you pull off the house deal and no support?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Baby Got Back video clip original Big Buts - YouTube


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

Jellybeans said:


> I have a lil bit of a bum but it's not anything obnoxious, Kardashian-styles. I am a Latina after all.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


>



DANG! I'll bet she has her own gravitational pull.

:lol:


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

Sparkles422 said:


> The court date came and went so quickly. I think it took 5 minutes. I like men myself all shapes and sizes (within reason). Hey whatever moves you, find it.
> 
> Good luck and may every day be better than the last.


Yeah you know... I was thinking how fuct up that was today. Aside from it being wham-bam... I was in the courtroom and there were like 10 people ahead of me/us... NOT A SINGLE one of them had both spouses present... Just one of the two, the other never showed... So odd that you wouldnt want to be there for something as meaningful as the end of your marriage. I mean you had to be there to get married, why wouldnt you need to be there to get unmarried?


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## Lovebug501 (Aug 30, 2011)

It's easier for the lawyers and Judge if only one shows. The other signs the Final Decree agreeing to everything... the other appears in front of the Judge.

That's 10 years of family law practice (as a legal asst) talking, mind you. Most of the time, we were just happy to finally get back the papers signed... didn't want or need the drama of getting both spouses in one room at the end of it all.


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

Lovebug501 said:


> It's easier for the lawyers and Judge if only one shows.


Yeah, her lawyer sorta looked uneasy that I was there. 

Just bizarre all around. Don't think I wanna do that ever again. I'm going to give it two enthusiatic thumbs down.


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## Hoosier (May 17, 2011)

I heisitate to say congratulations. Having just divorced 30 days ago after a 30 year marriage, and 82 days after discovery of my xw affair (she filed within 48 hours, no discussion, no talk of R) I know the bitter sweet feeling. A lot of what you say hits home, especially the part where you tried your best, I know how important that is, having followed my xw to Florida on a whim to talk with her. Wanted to do all that I can, it wasnt enough but it was ALL. Now take care of yourself, exercise, eat and sleep. Take it easy with members of the opposite sex, kiss em, hug em but dont fall in love with any of em .....yet. Improve yourself, and watch the x do nothing to improve herself, above all else strive for indifference. Instead of congrats I say "Welcome' to your new existance, your chance for a do over, make the most of it. I know you will. And thank you for your words of advice and encouragement during my plunge thru hell.


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## tam8145 (Apr 6, 2011)

Hey Pit, I just wanted to reply because of the similarities we share. My D was official/final 11/21 and, like you, I showed up even though she was the one proving the D. I dressed up in my suit for the hearing - and - her attorney seemed uneasy. Also, I have "true" joint custody with no child support either way. I kept the house. There is no alimony in Texas! My 2 kids - especially my oldest (10-yr-old daughter,) know I did all I could do to save my marriage. I was preparing to fight for primary custody if my ex started a fight, but she never did. It was all amicable.
Good luck on the dating part. I have been dating a woman exclusively for the past 3 months. She's excited that I'm officially divorced now. I've read your posts and I know you will have no trouble finding women to date. You will be able to take your pick.
God bless.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Pit-of-my-stomach said:


> Yeah you know... I was thinking how fuct up that was today. Aside from it being wham-bam... I was in the courtroom and there were like 10 people ahead of me/us... NOT A SINGLE one of them had both spouses present... Just one of the two, the other never showed... So odd that you wouldnt want to be there for something as meaningful as the end of your marriage. I mean you had to be there to get married, why wouldnt you need to be there to get unmarried?


 Not for me. I had no intention of going that day. The only reason I did was because the judge requested last minute that we both show up. Had the judge not, I would not have gone. My feeling was that it was his divorce, not mine and he could tie up all the loose ends since he wanted it so badly. I thought not going would have been the ultimate "fck you" from me to him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

tam8145 said:


> Hey Pit, I just wanted to reply because of the similarities we share.


Thanks for the reply. Yeah, it sounds like there are haunting similarities in our stories. What you describe is very similiar to how my situation played out. As you have likely done, I ommited the details of how it came to pass so amicably. I'm glad it did though. That's what was best for everyone.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

My condolences for the end of your marriage and my congrats for the end of your marriage. Yes, it is bittersweet. For me, it was like a weight off of my shoulders. I don't remember anyone ahead of me in the courtroom, but that period of my life was such a blur. 

But you will go on alright. Just don't be like me and marry the rebound girl.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Neither of us even ever went to court if I recall. My divorce was final in 1998. Sounds like you're about the same age I was!! Anyway, congrats


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

(((hugs)))


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

lordmayhem said:


> Just don't be like me and marry the rebound girl.


Hahahahahhahahahhahaha.....oh Helllllllllllll noes. I learn slowly, but I learn well. Flame is hot, do not touch.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Well, touch....but wear some oven mitts.


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## OOE (Mar 17, 2011)

Welcome to the other side, Pit.

Your family will always feel a little broken, but with every day that passes, you personally will feel more whole.

Glad that you didn't have to go through an ugly battle. Mine took years. :/


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## MrQuatto (Jul 7, 2010)

Pit-of-my-stomach said:


>


:lol: Best post eva!

Q~ (Ps, I might hafta kype that one.)


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

Congrat's, and now let the good times roll!!!!!!--on and on and on and on!!!!!!!!!


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## sadcalifornian (Sep 18, 2011)

Welcome back to the club !!! 
I used to dig cute faces, but this time around, I am attracted to butt as well. What changed, I don't know.


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

that_girl said:


> Well, touch....but wear some oven mitts.


lol, well played. 



sadcalifornian said:


> I used to dig cute faces, but this time around, I am attracted to butt as well. What changed, I don't know.


Maybe you got used to the view of them walking away and learned to like it? :rofl:


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## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

Glad you made it thru okay, Pit.
On my 4th month after D day, and 4th official week of living in my own house. Getting the kid every other week, for a week at a time, and just had a nice thanksgiving with her. 
It aint all fun and games, I'll tell ya, the lack of a family around the house serves as a reminder thats hard to see past sometimes. Keep your armor on for a little while.


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