# How on-line dating should be design.



## jlcrome

I have used on-line dating pof mainly I do ok with it had a few meet-ups. One thing I don't do is message hundreds of women nor am I impressed with the swipe left or right deal. I have learned!!! You gotta be level headed your self esteem can tank big time as a guy. It can be fustrating even with moderate success. So If I could give my 2 cents worth and how I would "change" the whole set up on the on-line dating this is my conclusion.
Number 1 a good on-line dating service needs a more in depth profile. Not just good pics but a series of details that is required. 
Number 2 eliminate all together email or text exchanges. No longer will women get bombarded with hundreds of emails.
Number 3 Filters, Only profiles with matching criteria will be the the only way you can interact with potential people. 
Number 4 Interacting with others will be done with a "1 on 1" request selection. Someone will send a request the other party can accept or deny. If they accept then you are directed to a chat room to interact with one another 1 on 1 no distractions.
Number 5 Have a topic generator button as an option. If you become stump or don't know what to say at the moment you can go thru a list of options of topics to discuss. It just will pop up in a bubble in the chat room. 
Number 6: have an added feature that allows users that wants to go beyond the chat room. Similiar to facebook messenger this feature will have video chat or voice call. That way you can go pass the chat room to over the phone interaction without giving out your phone numbers.


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## Red Sonja

Number 7: filter out the married potential cheaters.


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## john117

Ultimately the matching algorithm is what matters. But, it's predicated upon people telling the truth. The suggestions are quite good actually.


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## 2ntnuf

Or, get out there and meet them face to face.


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## farsidejunky

Or putting what they actually want, versus what they "should want" (nice guy/girl, etc.).


john117 said:


> Ultimately the matching algorithm is what matters. But, it's predicated upon people telling the truth. The suggestions are quite good actually.


Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk


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## Ynot

jlcrome said:


> I have used on-line dating pof mainly I do ok with it had a few meet-ups. One thing I don't do is message hundreds of women nor am I impressed with the swipe left or right deal. I have learned!!! You gotta be level headed your self esteem can tank big time as a guy. It can be fustrating even with moderate success. So If I could give my 2 cents worth and how I would "change" the whole set up on the on-line dating this is my conclusion.
> Number 1 a good on-line dating service needs a more in depth profile. Not just good pics but a series of details that is required.
> Number 2 eliminate all together email or text exchanges. No longer will women get bombarded with hundreds of emails.
> Number 3 Filters, Only profiles with matching criteria will be the the only way you can interact with potential people.
> Number 4 Interacting with others will be done with a "1 on 1" request selection. Someone will send a request the other party can accept or deny. If they accept then you are directed to a chat room to interact with one another 1 on 1 no distractions.
> Number 5 Have a topic generator button as an option. If you become stump or don't know what to say at the moment you can go thru a list of options of topics to discuss. It just will pop up in a bubble in the chat room.
> Number 6: have an added feature that allows users that wants to go beyond the chat room. Similiar to facebook messenger this feature will have video chat or voice call. That way you can go pass the chat room to over the phone interaction without giving out your phone numbers.


#1 - there are already sites like that eHarmony for one. In the end it is still dependent on how truthful the other person is and/or how you interpret their answers.
#2 - what makes you think a woman will not get bombarded with similar types of requests per your #4?
#3 - you may be eliminating dozens of potential matches based on whatever criteria you find acceptable or unacceptable. For instance "I want a relationship" could mean they are a stage one clinger who assumes that just because you ask for a date that you want to get married. Or, "I just want to date" might mean that while they are open to a relationship, they understand that every relationship starts with a date and they are trying to help the stage one clingers understand that.
#4 - see above
#5 - if you can't think of anything to say, maybe you shouldn't say anything. Even the most non-descriptive profiles and pics usually provide some sort of conversation starter.
#6 - many sites already have a similar feature.
The bottom line is that OLD has its limitations. The best way to meet people is simply to stay engaged in activities that interest you. If you happen to meet someone, then at the very least you already have at least one thing in common.


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## SpinyNorman

Curious why this is in "LIfe After Divorce", since lots of people who never divorced use OLD.


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## arbitrator

2ntnuf said:


> *Or, get out there and meet them face to face.*


*Much easier said that done ... at least for some of us people!*


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## 2ntnuf

arbitrator said:


> *Much easier said that done ... at least for some of us people!*


I don't understand. I'm thinking you may be too busy to physically go searching. If that's the case, you won't have enough time to get to know the person, either. So, I have to ask, are folks just looking for a partner for sex? How would you know she isn't a bunny boiler, before you have sex? Or don't you care? I'm terribly confused.


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## arbitrator

2ntnuf said:


> I don't understand. I'm thinking you may be too busy to physically go searching. If that's the case, you won't have enough time to get to know the person, either. So, I have to ask, are folks just looking for a partner for sex? How would you know she isn't a bunny boiler, before you have sex? Or don't you care? I'm terribly confused.


*With me, I'm more than certain that it's just me! I know that I would have to be attracted to a woman in the same general age frame. 

Living in a rural area, what women of that genre that I do see here just doesn't really attract me! And even if they did, there's the two pronged argument of my own self-worth of not matching up with them say on an educational, religious, or a socio-economic standpoint! I've never been the type to engage in procuring one night stands or have friends with benefits because of my belief systems and because of the abject emptiness of such situations!

To be so exacting, I feel that the best avenue for me is the OLD scenario, but (1) I've seen so many women who are just not attractive, or they live so far away that it would make a potential relationship next to impossible. (2) The other problem is that after thinking things through, I always seem to come back home to the thought that no matter how loving and loyal that they are, that like my former two cheating wives, they would eventually succumb to being "infidelic" themselves, so why even make the effort?

I think that's the reason I throw myself myself at ranch work and my arduous football officiating schedule so much is that it takes me away from having to endure disappointment yet again. What love and loyalty I need seems to be in the form of a big yellow lab puppy who wandered up!

If I were to ever get materially involved in a relationship once again, it would undoubtedly be from some woman who reaches out to me first. But with all of my internalized fears and nuances, I'm just not sure that I could effectively reach back!

Call it fear, narcissism, innate or unfounded mistrust, or whatever it is that you want to!*


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## minimalME

2ntnuf said:


> I don't understand. I'm thinking you may be too busy to physically go searching. If that's the case, you won't have enough time to get to know the person, either. So, I have to ask, are folks just looking for a partner for sex? How would you know she isn't a bunny boiler, before you have sex? Or don't you care? I'm terribly confused.


Not too busy, and I'm quite willing to put forth a lot of effort. Unfortunately, that rarely seems to be reciprocated.

Mainly, I'm an introverted loner. I'm quiet and reserved. And I'm a traditionalist and a responder, so I prefer men who lead.

The problems I've encountered are as simple as making first contact, and then being willing to actually spend time together to see if we even like one another as people.

No one I've met (and I've dated a lot of men) seems to want to be bothered. They behave well enough on a first date, but then our interaction becomes a power struggle over sex. 

I've stopped dating altogether because I consistently ended up feeling unattractive, unwanted and unloveable.


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## Rowan

jlcrome said:


> I have used on-line dating pof mainly I do ok with it had a few meet-ups. One thing I don't do is message hundreds of women nor am I impressed with the swipe left or right deal. I have learned!!! You gotta be level headed your self esteem can tank big time as a guy. It can be fustrating even with moderate success. So If I could give my 2 cents worth and how I would "change" the whole set up on the on-line dating this is my conclusion.
> Number 1 a good on-line dating service needs a more in depth profile. Not just good pics but a series of details that is required.
> Number 2 eliminate all together email or text exchanges. No longer will women get bombarded with hundreds of emails.
> Number 3 Filters, Only profiles with matching criteria will be the the only way you can interact with potential people.
> Number 4 Interacting with others will be done with a "1 on 1" request selection. Someone will send a request the other party can accept or deny. If they accept then you are directed to a chat room to interact with one another 1 on 1 no distractions.
> Number 5 Have a topic generator button as an option. If you become stump or don't know what to say at the moment you can go thru a list of options of topics to discuss. It just will pop up in a bubble in the chat room.
> Number 6: have an added feature that allows users that wants to go beyond the chat room. Similiar to facebook messenger this feature will have video chat or voice call. That way you can go pass the chat room to over the phone interaction without giving out your phone numbers.



What you're describing is largely available now, but only on the better designed and managed paid sites. When I was using online dating sites, eHarmony did all of those things. Other paid sites - Match comes to mind - offer much of the same in regards to functionality, if users will go to the trouble of using a few more of the available filters and features.


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## arbitrator

minimalME said:


> *Not too busy, and I'm quite willing to put forth a lot of effort. Unfortunately, that rarely seems to be reciprocated.
> 
> Mainly, I'm an introverted loner. I'm quiet and reserved. And I'm a traditionalist and a responder, so I prefer men who lead.
> 
> The problems I've encountered are as simple as making first contact, and then being willing to actually spend time together to see if we even like one another as people.
> 
> No one I've met (and I've dated a lot of men) seems to want to be bothered. They behave well enough on a first date, but then our interaction becomes a power struggle over sex.
> 
> I've stopped dating altogether because I consistently ended up feeling unattractive, unwanted and unloveable.*


*You shouldn't feel that way, Mini-me!

As an attractive and vivacious woman, you seemingly have everything going for you! Or should have, at least!*


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## Diana7

minimalME said:


> Not too busy, and I'm quite willing to put forth a lot of effort. Unfortunately, that rarely seems to be reciprocated.
> 
> Mainly, I'm an introverted loner. I'm quiet and reserved. And I'm a traditionalist and a responder, so I prefer men who lead.
> 
> The problems I've encountered are as simple as making first contact, and then being willing to actually spend time together to see if we even like one another as people.
> 
> No one I've met (and I've dated a lot of men) seems to want to be bothered. They behave well enough on a first date, but then our interaction becomes a power struggle over sex.
> 
> I've stopped dating altogether because I consistently ended up feeling unattractive, unwanted and unloveable.


That's very sad. I have a family member who dated some men she met on line but within a few dates they were pressuring her for sex so she ended it with them. I admire her for that. If they do that they aren't worth bothering with.

I was fortunate that I was on Christians sites, so didn't get that. Most of the men I was in contact with or met were good men who treated women with respect. No pressure at all.


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## minimalME

arbitrator said:


> *You shouldn't feel that way, Mini-me!
> 
> As an attractive and vivacious woman, you seemingly have everything going for you! Or should have, at least!*


Thanks, arb! You're very kind. 



Diana7 said:


> I was fortunate that I was on Christians sites, so didn't get that. Most of the men I was in contact with or met were good men who treated women with respect. No pressure at all.


I looked at Christians sites, and there wasn't any activity on them. A few months ago, I signed up for eHarmony, and although it was the most expensive, it was completely dead. 

And I've been out with Christian men in the past. Their behavior wasn't any different. 

It's a hard time to be dating, and I accept that. 

If I met someone face to face, who showed genuine interest for more than a few hours, that'd be wonderful. But I've started working on several business projects to keep myself occupied so that I can add to my life in a good way and not get too wrapped up in what I don't have.


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## musicftw07

2ntnuf said:


> Or, get out there and meet them face to face.


This worked wonders for me. OLD was useless.


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## Diana7

minimalME said:


> Thanks, arb! You're very kind.
> 
> 
> 
> I looked at Christians sites, and there wasn't any activity on them. A few months ago, I signed up for eHarmony, and although it was the most expensive, it was completely dead.
> 
> And I've been out with Christian men in the past. Their behavior wasn't any different.
> 
> It's a hard time to be dating, and I accept that.
> 
> If I met someone face to face, who showed genuine interest for more than a few hours, that'd be wonderful. But I've started working on several business projects to keep myself occupied so that I can add to my life in a good way and not get too wrapped up in what I don't have.


Well there men who call themselves Christian but who don't act like it, and there are true Christian men who act well. 
Do you have a good church?


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## Diana7

musicftw07 said:


> This worked wonders for me. OLD was useless.


Well you can meet people very soon face to face that you meet on line. I met my now husband 4 days after first contact.


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## arbitrator

Diana7 said:


> *Well you can meet people very soon face to face that you meet on line. I met my now husband 4 days after first contact.*


*So exactly how does that work if you are not on OLD?*


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## Diana7

arbitrator said:


> *So exactly how does that work if you are not on OLD?*


It was on OLD, but we just met quickly. He only lived 40 min's drive away so there was no point in waiting.


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## 2ntnuf

minimalME said:


> Not too busy, and I'm quite willing to put forth a lot of effort. Unfortunately, that rarely seems to be reciprocated.
> 
> Mainly, I'm an introverted loner. I'm quiet and reserved. And I'm a traditionalist and a responder, so I prefer men who lead.
> 
> The problems I've encountered are as simple as making first contact, and then being willing to actually spend time together to see if we even like one another as people.
> 
> No one I've met (and I've dated a lot of men) seems to want to be bothered. They behave well enough on a first date, but then our interaction becomes a power struggle over sex.
> 
> I've stopped dating altogether because I consistently ended up feeling unattractive, unwanted and unloveable.


You used OLD in the past? Not sure...

There's nothing wrong with you. We are all different. No idea what age group you are in. I would think that some in my age group, I'll be 56 in September, would be more traditional. 

The only issue I see is some men don't want to lead. At my age and without a family, I have no desire to lead anyone. All that leading is usually, in my mind, to help direct the family, including children, so everyone has a direction. Everyone runs around so much when there are children involved, that someone has to stay grounded, so just doing things because it's expected, does not become a problem. Well, that's how I saw it.

Without that family and youth on my side, it's quite different. There is no need to lead one other person. Do what you want within limits, boundaries and finances. 

Even introverts do things. I'd think they could all find someone through those activities, but I know not everyone does. 

I can see how being rejected for any reason would make me feel unwanted. It's just normal... and sad. Those men are probably looking for someone way above their 'paygrade'. It's the way of the world today. 

I don't date, either. I have not tried since my second marriage broke up. I see nothing in it for me at this time. I may never. 

I'm sorry you did not find what you were searching for through dating.


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## arbitrator

Diana7 said:


> *It was on OLD, but we just met quickly. He only lived 40 min's drive away so there was no point in waiting.*


*I have only had one date of interest on eH. I drove over 100 miles to meet her and initially things went well. But she wanted to text all the time and was reticent to ever want to talk on the phone. Then she ghosted me altogether!

Unless you pay, eH doesn't allow you to communicate unless you're willing to pay through the nose, or you wait until they have their "free communication weekends, which is only about 3-4 times a year!

On POF, the women seem to either be goody-little-two shoes, atheistic, or there's just no real attraction there for me!

I like OKC's question and answer format, but not one of the matches they send me really attracts me or they live way far off in another state or country!

At least for me, OLD has not really been a lot of fun!
*


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## arbitrator

2ntnuf said:


> You used OLD in the past? Not sure...
> 
> There's nothing wrong with you. We are all different. No idea what age group you are in. I would think that some in my age group, I'll be 56 in September, would be more traditional.
> 
> The only issue I see is some men don't want to lead. At my age and without a family, I have no desire to lead anyone. All that leading is usually, in my mind, to help direct the family, including children, so everyone has a direction. Everyone runs around so much when there are children involved, that someone has to stay grounded, so just doing things because it's expected, does not become a problem. Well, that's how I saw it.
> 
> Without that family and youth on my side, it's quite different. There is no need to lead one other person. Do what you want within limits, boundaries and finances.
> 
> Even introverts do things. I'd think they could all find someone through those activities, but I know not everyone does.
> 
> I can see how being rejected for any reason would make me feel unwanted. *It's just normal... and sad. Those men are probably looking for someone way above their 'pay grade'. It's the way of the world today.
> 
> I don't date, either. I have not tried since my second marriage broke up. I see nothing in it for me at this time. I may never.*


*I'm now scared crapless of women with money! I think that I learned my lesson from that tough school of selfishness with my RSXW! Another deal breaker is that they are atheists!

I'll take a poor, good-hearted, Christ-centered woman any day, compared to any who exudes wealth or extravagance, or has no belief of God anywhere in their OLD profile. Just reading those things makes me immediately flip their pictures "left!"*


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## minimalME

2ntnuf said:


> You used OLD in the past? Not sure...


Yes - for the past 8 years. On and off.



> There's nothing wrong with you. We are all different. No idea what age group you are in. I would think that some in my age group, I'll be 56 in September, would be more traditional.


I'm 51, and I am more traditional.



> The only issue I see is some men don't want to lead. At my age and without a family, I have no desire to lead anyone. All that leading is usually, in my mind, to help direct the family, including children, so everyone has a direction. Everyone runs around so much when there are children involved, that someone has to stay grounded, so just doing things because it's expected, does not become a problem. Well, that's how I saw it.


I like being led. For me, it earns respect, and respect enhances my attraction. Being a little bossed around by someone I trust and care about (and it's reciprocal) turns me on. I like it. 



> Do what you want within limits, boundaries and finances.
> 
> Even introverts do things. I'd think they could all find someone through those activities, but I know not everyone does.


Yes. I have all the freedom in the world. And I am grateful for my life - I have very few worries. But it's lonely and unsatisfying. I'd like to share it with someone special. 



> I can see how being rejected for any reason would make me feel unwanted. It's just normal... and sad. Those men are probably looking for someone way above their 'paygrade'. It's the way of the world today.


I honestly don't know what they were looking for. No one talks. No one's the least bit vulnerable or open. They just come and go. 



> I'm sorry you did not find what you were searching for through dating.


Thank you. It's very kind of you to say.


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## 2ntnuf

minimalME said:


> Yes - for the past 8 years. On and off.



You must have found something to keep your interest, but nothing long term.




minimalME said:


> I'm 51, and I am more traditional.


That seems too young to be traditional. 




minimalME said:


> I like being led. For me, it earns respect, and respect enhances my attraction. Being a little bossed around by someone I trust and care about (and it's reciprocal) turns me on. I like it.


[/QUOTE]

I would think that would happen with anyone who is with someone long term. I guess not?





minimalME said:


> Yes. I have all the freedom in the world. And I am grateful for my life - I have very few worries. But it's lonely and unsatisfying. I'd like to share it with someone special.


Sure, and I would have too, if I was younger. Now, I don't see much benefit. My doctor cares about me. My mechanic cares about me. My neighbors care about what I am doing. Supervisors tell me what to do. It's just like being in a long term relationship, except no sex. I'm not sure sex is worth continuing that kind of thing after work or more than when I need something done. Besides, sex at my age, meh. It's too much risk for very little. When younger and wanting children and building a life, all of that is worthwhile with the right person. At my age, I figure it isn't worth the effort to be with someone whose family will never fully accept me. I'm not going through that for sex. I just don't see the benefit. 




minimalME said:


> I honestly don't know what they were looking for. No one talks. No one's the least bit vulnerable or open. They just come and go.


If they come and go, they were looking for sex. Some might be interested in something longer termed, but it would be more of a chance encounter that is safe and exactly what they think they want. 

See, I just don't think it is possible to get that close at this stage of life. It's more a convenience relationship. I see little advantage in that. 




minimalME said:


> Thank you. It's very kind of you to say.


You're welcome. I hope you find the man you desire. Everyone deserves to be as happy as possible.


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## arbitrator

Diana7 said:


> Well there men who call themselves Christian but who don't act like it, and there are true Christian men who act well.
> Do you have a good church?


*I have a great church! But I had two older gals vying over my attention a couple of years ago and I was attracted to neither!

Let's just say that if a "cat fight" broke out, I wasn't really interested in viewing it!

IMHO, Church is an absolutely terrible place to meet available women!*


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## minimalME

2ntnuf said:


> You must have found something to keep your interest, but nothing long term.


Something? Or someone? 




> That seems too young to be traditional.


I should've been born 200/300 years ago. I like adventure and unconventionality. My dad told me recently that I would have made a good pioneer woman. 




> I would think that would happen with anyone who is with someone long term. I guess not?


Not really. I'd get a hint of it here and there. Definitely not out of a long term commitment.




> Sure, and I would have too, if I was younger. Now, I don't see much benefit. My doctor cares about me. My mechanic cares about me. My neighbors care about what I am doing. Supervisors tell me what to do. It's just like being in a long term relationship, except no sex. I'm not sure sex is worth continuing that kind of thing after work or more than when I need something done. Besides, sex at my age, meh. It's too much risk for very little. When younger and wanting children and building a life, all of that is worthwhile with the right person. At my age, I figure it isn't worth the effort to be with someone whose family will never fully accept me. I'm not going through that for sex. I just don't see the benefit.


I understand. It is a risk, and I'd never want another divorce. 




> If they come and go, they were looking for sex.


Yup. It would seem that way. 




> See, I just don't think it is possible to get that close at this stage of life. It's more a convenience relationship. I see little advantage in that.


I think it's possible. I'm certainly capable of it. To me, it's more of having an open temperament - to be willing. People have been so hurt by midlife that it seems very difficult to risk that sort of depth again. 




> You're welcome. I hope you find the man you desire. Everyone deserves to be as happy as possible.


Maybe someday.


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## 2ntnuf

minimalME said:


> Something? Or someone?


I don't know. You'd have to say. For some, it can be a thing, like companionship. For others, it can be a unique person with a unique personality, and the ability to make you smile and feel good and comfortable around them.


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## Diana7

arbitrator said:


> *I'm now scared crapless of women with money! I think that I learned my lesson from that tough school of selfishness with my RSXW! Another deal breaker is that they are atheists!
> 
> I'll take a poor, good-hearted, Christ-centered woman any day, compared to any who exudes wealth or extravagance, or has no belief of God anywhere in their OLD profile. Just reading those things makes me immediately flip their pictures "left!"*


Yes for me him being a committed Christian was paramount. That does make your choice far smaller here in the UK, only 5% go to church here. Also there are far more single women in the church than men.


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## Diana7

arbitrator said:


> *I have a great church! But I had two older gals vying over my attention a couple of years ago and I was attracted to neither!
> 
> Let's just say that if a "cat fight" broke out, I wasn't really interested in viewing it!
> 
> IMHO, Church is an absolutely terrible place to meet available women!*


Well many do meet their partners at church, but more the younger ones. Available older people are far less common, which is why I went onto OLD.


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## arbitrator

Diana7 said:


> Yes for me him being a committed Christian was paramount. That does make your choice far smaller here in the UK, only 5% go to church here. Also there are far more single women in the church than men.


*It's the mindset of those single church women that bother me!

They are either independently wealthy divorcées or widows who look down on poor or disadvantaged people! Or they are holier than thou and they have no problem in letting you know about it.

Some, I imagine, only attend Sunday service to get in on a good sermon or to socialize with their cronies! Some are in it to get on powerful church committees where they can wield their power while looking for a rich man!

But I know that God would rather they be there! They really disgust me!*


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## minimalME

arbitrator said:


> *It's the mindset of those single church women that bother me!
> 
> They are either independently wealthy divorcées or widows who look down on poor or disadvantaged people! Or they are holier than thou and they have no problem in letting you know about it.
> 
> Some, I imagine, only attend Sunday service to get in on a good sermon or to socialize with their cronies! Some are in it to get on powerful church committees where they can wield their power while looking for a rich man!
> 
> But I know that God would rather they be there! They really disgust me!*


Don't give up hope! We aren't all that way.


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## Diana7

arbitrator said:


> *It's the mindset of those single church women that bother me!
> 
> They are either independently wealthy divorcées or widows who look down on poor or disadvantaged people! Or they are holier than thou and they have no problem in letting you know about it.
> 
> Some, I imagine, only attend Sunday service to get in on a good sermon or to socialize with their cronies! Some are in it to get on powerful church committees where they can wield their power while looking for a rich man!
> 
> But I know that God would rather they be there! They really disgust me!*


Well all women are different so maybe you have just been unlucky. I know some lovely single Christian ladies.


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## jlcrome

I disagree with others about me describing similarities with e-harmony. E-harmony has way too many filters and it makes chooses for you according to their match. But the reality is 95% of people will fall into the POF, match, ok cupid, tinder arena which is same ole junk. What I'm trying to say we evolve over time and we learn how to make things more efficent and work better. On-line dating has not evolved it's just the same since 1995. 
The biggest problems i've observed is OLD just doesn't have a blueprint on how it should work. It's just a bunch of random people from various backgrounds clueless on how to get to point A to point B. OLD is just set up poorly enough to the extent that getting to point B is nearly impossible. B being meeting face to face. That's why it's got a bad rap over the years it just never evolved into something that makes sense.


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## Hoosier

I feel like an old dog. In that I have only have overwhelmingly good results from OLD. I think people try to make it do to much. What it does for me is make it easy to say hello. I never had the game necessary to pick someone up at a bar, or even say hello to a woman at a social event. You need to approach OLD as a job. Go thru the profiles, narrow down your choices, then MEET the person. If they are not for you, go to the next.

The women I have met, are all very classy people, can not think of one exception. It might be that I do my homework and weed the "others" out, but very happy with those that I have met. Now some of them have been a "not interested in dating" but never a "hell no". I wonder if those who have the horror stories, did that much to screen out the dating pool. 

All OLD does, is make it easier to say "hello". It doesnt bring you qualified candidates (that is your job). Sure its hard to tell what that person is really like, thats where the meet and greet comes in. To many people spend way to long, on emailing, texting, and not meeting. If the other person is resisting getting together, there is usually a reason, and they are probably not a good candidate. Move on if it becomes an issue for very long!


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## DustyDog

jlcrome said:


> I have used on-line dating pof mainly I do ok with it had a few meet-ups. One thing I don't do is message hundreds of women nor am I impressed with the swipe left or right deal. I have learned!!! You gotta be level headed your self esteem can tank big time as a guy. It can be fustrating even with moderate success. So If I could give my 2 cents worth and how I would "change" the whole set up on the on-line dating this is my conclusion.
> Number 1 a good on-line dating service needs a more in depth profile. Not just good pics but a series of details that is required.
> Number 2 eliminate all together email or text exchanges. No longer will women get bombarded with hundreds of emails.
> Number 3 Filters, Only profiles with matching criteria will be the the only way you can interact with potential people.
> Number 4 Interacting with others will be done with a "1 on 1" request selection. Someone will send a request the other party can accept or deny. If they accept then you are directed to a chat room to interact with one another 1 on 1 no distractions.
> Number 5 Have a topic generator button as an option. If you become stump or don't know what to say at the moment you can go thru a list of options of topics to discuss. It just will pop up in a bubble in the chat room.
> Number 6: have an added feature that allows users that wants to go beyond the chat room. Similiar to facebook messenger this feature will have video chat or voice call. That way you can go pass the chat room to over the phone interaction without giving out your phone numbers.



Just a point to be made - self esteem comes from INSIDE of you and is not affected by external events or what others say.

If it is affected by your dating success, then you are drawing what esteem you have from outsiders.


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