# I'm done... Can't take the extreme ups and downs anymore...



## BayMarine (Jan 30, 2012)

Oh man where do I start. 

Quick synopsis: My wife is beautiful, good in every aspect as a mother and with people. But she cannot stop giving me grief. 

It used to be toward her family but in 2007 we all met in FL to go to Disney World and she made amends with her family - now I've been the Target every since. Her family is was continually bickering amongst each other back then and still a little today but her sisters LOVE to stir things up. 

I am accused of everything and have done nothing but give her everything she could ask for. Vacations around the world, in the US, stay at home mom for almost 8yrs, I never bring an argument to her, I cook better than any restaurant, I jump in and do dishes, laundry, help with the kids school, schedules, and take them out into the Outdoors. I'm even keeled, patient as a Saint, and a very hard worker but get treated like I'm a horrible person who can't be trusted. 

Finally two nights ago she exploded on me in front of her friend (my-ex girlfriend by the way!). We have two kids the same age as her kids so sleep overs are often and fun for everyone. I usually Cook, DJ, and Bar tend on those nights. I don't hit on our friend and we usually all have fun til late. 

The other night I had cleaned the house, did two loads of dishes, 3 loads of Laundry that morning, and made Pork Ribs, Portabella Mushrooms stuffed with Spinach and topped with Mozzarella and a Breakfast Sausage pattie (very good) and made two large T-Bone steaks. All of this and we're having a great time.

When our friend walked into the Living room my wife starts to verbally attack me about a News interview (I had a near death experience) with a local News outlet like it was all for attention. I looked at her and said "please don't do this"... She began to assail me about having X amount of Facebook friends and mathematically she was saying - well hell here it is. Out of 580 friends that I had 500 Girlfriends! I just never know what is going to come out of her mouth. Last time we met at a Boardwalk and her friend walked away she said "Why are you losing weight??" in a hateful tone! I'm 6'2 and 195lbs. I can loose weight quick if I start skipping breakfast or get a little dehydrated. 

Well - I feel like I pour out my life and hard work to have fun with her and she only allows her extreme public jealousy to ruin any fun we could have. Our kids are 7 and 4 so we can finally start going out for dinner or drinks and she makes it a disaster every time. I could go on and on with examples - bottom line it's always us having fun together and yes I'm into her and no one else - the next thing I know - Bam... it's fight time! 

I'm tired. It's exhausting and I have no idea if she really believes her own stories or if she is just covering her own actions with misinforming her family and friends (on the phone all the time about how horrible I am) or if she really thinks she's being accurate. I mean whole scenarios where I'm calm, coherent and have no interest in arguing while she is going ballistic and the next day or later that day it's all my fault. She gets physical - I have scratches RIGHT NOW from her confronting me when I won't respond to her verbal abuse. I try to walk away - she'll follow me getting in my face. 

I'm just done! No one deserves this and what really get's me is now after 7yrs of carrying this family and buying everything, paying all the bills, being smart with the money (she is too) She just went back to teaching and opened her own account! I'm still paying the bills and she opened an account... She just started putting it into our account but it still makes me disgusted she would do that. What a statement of the lack of respect. 

So I'm done! I looked up Bi Polar but I think she's just a person you can't make happy. Anyone ever deal with this type of unappreciative behavior?


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## yellowsubmarine (Feb 3, 2012)

Sort of, but he was passive aggressive. I bent over backwards to follow him and his career overseas and stateside. I took jobs I didn't care for, went to school, cooked, did chores, made sure he didn't have to worry about anything while he was gone on business, etc. He had it easy with me.

But being humiliated in public is a tough pill to swallow.

She is obviously not happy, and there might be an underlying problem. 

I personally hit rock bottom and sought professional help. It's in the past for me, but I wonder if I had sought it earlier on if it would have made a difference. Mute point now. 

Now, I would encourage anyone to seek help, and by that I mean professional. I am not talking about prescription drugs here. Counseling is what is helping me.

Several years ago I was ready to call it quits because of the treatment. At that point, I didn't make that decision because I felt I had too much invested in the relationship. However, I got to a point where I just couldn't take it anymore.

One must decide when to fight and when to throw the towel. And it's not easy. You obviously want a change, and should make it known. That way, there won't be any regrets down the road. At least, you tried. Ultimately, though, you have to do what feels right for you.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

She sounds like my ex... I supported him through medical school, raised our son, took care of the house, etc. He used to go off on me like your wife does. Plus I found out later that he was cheating on me with anything that moved.

Some people are just wacked out. What can I say?


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## accept (Dec 1, 2011)

You tell us what you do. By the sound of it there is nothing left for her to do. Maybe thats the problem. You do it so well that she is scared to compete with you. How about doing things together.


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## contemplating divorce (Mar 12, 2012)

BayMarine said:


> Oh man where do I start.
> 
> Quick synopsis: My wife is beautiful, good in every aspect as a mother and with people. But she cannot stop giving me grief.
> 
> ...


The word you are looking for here does start with BI, but it's not Bi Polar  Sounds like someone is spoiled & has a HUGE lack of appreciation for the life you have provided for her! If what you say is true about yourself, she should be worshiping the ground you walk on. My husband runs water over dirty dishes & throws them in the dishwasher sometimes, will wash his own laundry, & help cook sometimes, but that's his limit. 
Ahhhhhh.......The relationship problem causing facebook...................gotta love it! I don't know if she has any defense here, but my husband said he has slept w/ so many women that he wouldn't tell me the count. In that case, I don't think I would want to know, but knowing the number is extreme, and all of the women popping up on his list of friends leads me to wonder........did he sleep with her? How 'bout her? I don't know these women. Are they seeking my husband? Are they sending private messages between one another? Am I being paranoid? Yes, so I have learned to not even look at his friend's list. Although he has not cheated on me to my knowledge, he has lied to me many times so that causes trust issues. I have 37 facebook friends. If my husband doesn't know a guy and he is not related to me, he does not get added to my list. I do that out of respect for my husband as he is the jealous type. If the women could do less of the cleavage shots it might not be so bad for you guys (I am guilty as well, but I think I post my double D's so that no matter who my husband befriend's, they can't "top" me, lol.) It may not be their profile picture, but it's usually in there. It seems as though your wife is the jealous type. You say she is beautiful, but does SHE feel she is? She seems to want to show her dominance over you to your ex gf. That's just bad all the way around. If you were intimate with your ex gf, as I imagine you were, that has to bother your wife whether it be consciously or subconsciously. I would give her a little credit for being able to be in the same room with a woman that has "experienced" you. If you truly love her, and you have tried to talk to her, suggest counseling as it sounds like she has resentment against you for some reason. Divorce sucks, especially when you have kids. I know you are exhausted, but exhaust all of your resources first before you call it quits. You have 2 little people that you will one day have to answer to for as to why you & mom aren't still together. As my kids get older, their questions about my divorce from their father become more wise & in depth. It's no fun and such a shame. I know we would still be together if he hadn't refused counseling. By the way guys, alcohol does NOT excuse everything you do! 
As far as the physical cruelty goes, that is so degrading & I am sorry that a man that sounds as amazing as you do is having to deal with that. Do what you have to do to figure out if there is any hope of it working out, otherwise, life is too short & too precious to waste being unhappy. You may just need to find a woman that, while being treated like a queen, treats you like a king in return.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

On a side note:

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH AN EX GF HANGING AROUND?!?!?!?

Don't you know that exes are barrels of toxic waste in ANY marriage?


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## cgh (Jan 18, 2012)

well if you have been doing all the things ( cook, clean, etc ) for years and now start to question it all. you need to sit down and talk to your wife. talk about how you feel, let her know how pee'd off you are.
see how it goes from there.


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