# Ladies what makes a man handsome to a woman?



## WayTooAverage

Today I was wondering if I am still considered handsome to women. There was a time in my life I really was. Now I am middle aged. My skin is aged from the sun. I have wrinkles... I have gray hair. I need to take off about 15 pounds. I was seriously wondering if I am considered attractive to woman. After all, my wife  never compliments me on my looks. So, my question is, is it possible for a man who has flaws in his physical appearance to still be considered handsome/attractive to woman? If so, what must the man have?


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## turnera

Personality.

Knowing that the man actually CARES about what the woman wants, thinks, and cares about.

It's pretty obvious when a man just wants sex. And most men just want sex. 

WE KNOW.

And THAT man is not attractive.


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## unbelievable

Few will admit it, but the primary purpose for a man (to a woman) is and always has been security. They want someone who can take care of them and any potential offspring. This is primal stuff and exists even in the feminist mind. This doesn't mean women don't work or don't earn more than men sometimes. To be respected, the man has to at least appear to be able to take care of the woman. By being unemployed and assuming a "follower" role in your marriage, you are going against millions of years of evolution. Back in the day, no cave woman would touch you because you don't act like a hunter or a warrior. Appear confident, strong, decisive, ambitious, and prosperous.


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## omega

It has to do with chemistry to me. I don't know if my husband would be considered attractive by other women - I know several of my good girlfriends told me they don't find him attractive. I honestly cross-my-heart think he's the most attractive man I've ever met and every time he looks at me, I get butterflies. So it's chemical. And my husband has a number of "imperfections" of the sort you mention (not the same, but same sort of thing). 

On the other hand, he also has long thick eyelashes, perfect teeth, gorgeous feet (first man I've ever seen with nice-looking feet!), etc etc. The list goes on, I don't want to get started here.

So even if you have imperfections, if the chemistry is there, the woman will not only find you "overall" really attractive (hot!) but will also be able to list your "perfect" features as well (even if you don't think you have any yourself!).


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## omega

unbelievable said:


> Few will admit it, but the primary purpose for a man (to a woman) is and always has been security. They want someone who can take care of them and any potential offspring. This is primal stuff and exists even in the feminist mind. This doesn't mean women don't work or don't earn more than men sometimes. To be respected, the man has to at least appear to be able to take care of the woman. By being unemployed and assuming a "follower" role in your marriage, you are going against millions of years of evolution. Back in the day, no cave woman would touch you because you don't act like a hunter or a warrior. Appear confident, strong, decisive, ambitious, and prosperous.


I agree that the qualities you list (confidence, strength, decisiveness, ambition, and prosperity) are attractive. When I first met my husband, he showed all these qualities and while I knew that he wasn't wealthy or going to be wealthy, the actual amount of money isn't what matters. What matters is that he makes you feel SAFE. The fact that he's in debt or doesn't make very much money doesn't affect that - if it did, poor men wouldn't have a chance - but as we all know, that's not the case. 

Also, funny how this has been identified as women's way of picking a good father for their children - it works the same in women who have no desire for children at all. I want NOT to have children and yet I am very attracted by my husband's confident, strong nature - I like the feeling of security and safety. 

I don't know why people wouldn't admit to it, by the way. I'll admit to it, if that helps


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## YinPrincess

Any man can be attractive with the 'right' attitude/personality, and even without an 'edge' there is always a woman out there who will adore you... Even with extra pounds and gray hair. Any man can be handsome and attractive if he is comfortable in his own skin, so to speak. 

In fact, I keep telling my husband that I CAN'T WAIT until he goes gray... He's going to be even hotter then, then he is now!!


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## Jellybeans

Every woman will answer this differently. When I think of what's handsome to me...its different from man to man. It has something to do with how he carries himself...how he expresses himself. On a physical level it is different from man to an too...I find george clooney, benicio del toro, idris elba, clive owen, and jason momoa all handsome.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Laurae1967

It varies from woman to woman. Confidence (not ****y), kindness and intelligence are a turn on for me. A good sense of humor is key, too.

Someone who feels confortable in their own skin is attractive in general, I think.


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## SimplyAmorous

I don't really care if a guy is "Mr Confidence, ambition or prosperity".. .. I am more concerned about his Character... can his "word" be counted on, is he faithful in all he sets his hands too- including his Job , whatever it may be, is he honest to a fault, the devoted type. A superb Handyman is a turn on. I have a great appreciation for the Beta qualities in men.

I agree with Unbelievable, us women seek "security". Of coarse good looks helps! I like a thin man with a flat stomach, I am not crazy about gray but I need to get over it, we are getting older, I am happy mine still has a full set of hair as he is nearing 50 in a couple yrs. 

I have always been drawn to the shyer guys. They are a little bit of a mystery to unravel - what is underneath that bashfulness. Of coarse he needs to be able to carry a good conversation & have a sense of humor that has an appreciation for mine. 

No matter how our looks change over the years, if you are with someone most of your life, I think we all have the ability to see them "forever young" when we look into their eyes.


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## Bad News

what's more important to the OP, being attractive to his wife or to women in general, cause they're not mutually exclusive? Also, assuming the OP doesn't have any physical limitation he could lose some weight and easily dye his hair.


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## Therealbrighteyes

unbelievable said:


> Few will admit it, but the primary purpose for a man (to a woman) is and always has been security. They want someone who can take care of them and any potential offspring. This is primal stuff and exists even in the feminist mind. This doesn't mean women don't work or don't earn more than men sometimes. To be respected, the man has to at least appear to be able to take care of the woman. By being unemployed and assuming a "follower" role in your marriage, you are going against millions of years of evolution. Back in the day, no cave woman would touch you because you don't act like a hunter or a warrior. Appear confident, strong, decisive, ambitious, and prosperous.


I actually agree with you to some extent on this. My husband is incredibly good looking. Think Tom Brady good looking (literally) with the height as well. 
When he was making $40k a year, he wasn't as attractive to me. The question though is, is he more attractive now because of what he makes or because he carries himself in a way that makes him more attractive? When he made less money and we were struggling, he lacked confidence and esteem. After he started to make six figs, he became a different person and yes, wildly attractive to me. I am not sure it was the money. I think it had more to do with how he carried himself and his worth and I saw something different in him and it was very very sexy.


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## ScullyFan

Intelligence, sense of humor, be respectful, faithful, caring, affectionate, to many woman the most important is not the looks but the personality.


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## omega

wifeofhusband said:


> Dyed hair in men I do not find attractive. I prefer a man who is confidently gray


I agree. I once was interested in a guy who was very attractive, absolutely brilliant, etc. Then a mutual friend told me that "that's not his real hair" and the attraction withered away within a few days!! I just couldn't get past the feeling that he lacked confidence in himself. I had heard forever that women don't like men who lack confidence but that was probably the first time I saw it SO clearly in my own reaction to a guy.


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## unbelievable

A man with enough money can look like Jabba the Hut or have the personality of a carp but will still have an array of women vying for his attention.


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## AFEH

turnera said:


> Personality.
> 
> Knowing that the man actually CARES about what the woman wants, thinks, and cares about.
> 
> It's pretty obvious when a man just wants sex. And most men just want sex.
> 
> WE KNOW.
> 
> And THAT man is not attractive.


Ha! So most men aren't attractive. Rather narrows down the field a bit. Did you never think that man wants sex with you, but not the twenty other women in the room?


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## southern wife

WayTooAverage said:


> Today I was wondering if I am still considered handsome to women. There was a time in my life I really was. Now I am middle aged. My skin is aged from the sun. I have wrinkles... I have gray hair. I need to take off about 15 pounds. I was seriously wondering if I am considered attractive to woman. After all, my wife never compliments me on my looks. So, my question is, is it possible for a man who has flaws in his physical appearance to still be considered handsome/attractive to woman? If so, what must the man have?


Why not put your pic up so we can see you?


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## HappyAtLast

Intelligence, personality and chemistry.


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## FirstYearDown

unbelievable said:


> Few will admit it, but the primary purpose for a man (to a woman) is and always has been security. They want someone who can take care of them and any potential offspring. This is primal stuff and exists even in the feminist mind. This doesn't mean women don't work or don't earn more than men sometimes. To be respected, the man has to at least appear to be able to take care of the woman. By being unemployed and assuming a "follower" role in your marriage, you are going against millions of years of evolution. Back in the day, no cave woman would touch you because you don't act like a hunter or a warrior. Appear confident, strong, decisive, ambitious, and prosperous.


:iagree::iagree::iagree:

That is why many women prefer older men. My husband dotes on me and treats me like a goddess; younger women trade beauty and youth for security all the time. I have always worked and I lived alone for five years, but I would never pretend that I hate not having to pay bills anymore, because my husband makes more than triple what I do. 

Of course, if the older man is mature and has any sense, he will not pick a younger woman without an intelligent thought in her head or any ambition. After all, she has to make him look good during all those corporate parties and mixers with his pedigreed family.

Look at the wives of many well heeled rich men. 

As for what makes a man physically attractive, that depends on the woman. I love grey hair on men or women; it makes them look distinguished. My husband has sea blue eyes that make me want to dive into them.  He is also much taller than me, with broad shoulders and an uncommonly deep voice. *sigh*


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## trlsntribs

I agree w/ the other posters; personality. A man can look like a movie star on the outside - but if he's ugly on the inside then it's a turn off.


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## justsumchik

Confidence, a great sense of humor, respectfully sexual, strength. Gray hair can be very sexy, and a guy who feels sexy is much sexier than a guy who doesn't.


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## aston

I will second security. in a nutshell any man with money is usually very attractive!


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## SunnyT

Even old time-ravaged wrinkly people are someone's hottie!


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## unbelievable

wifeofhusband said:


> Not the ones that are worth his while.


I couldn't agree more.:iagree:


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## Thewife

"Security" is definitely a factor. Not just financial (although this is the prime factor) but emotional and physical. Many women today are independent and financially well to do, however, when a man offers these he is definitely the most attractive. Looks are only for the first time or till you get to know the person. My husband was a very handsome man when we married, 13 years later he surely has more grey hair, wrinkles, slightly out of shape and a little over weight but who cares he seems to be more attractive to me now than ever.


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## RandomDude

Being a pretty face brings all the girls coming in, but the truth is; any man with confidence can get the girls coming in anyway. So in the end, my pretty face is rather useless lol, just causes more trouble with what the missus calls "harpies"... and not to mention the stupid adoring stares from the younger ladies.


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## GA HEART

My mama always said, "If you want a good one, leave the pretty ones alone." I've had my share of pretty ones who were douchenozzles. 

Having said that, they all had their physical faults, and were all different in shape, size, features, etc. But I found them VERY sexy! So as far as the physical qualities go that attract women, it can vary from man to man even for the same gal!

Looks catch my attention. But personality is key. I'm finding that even in the way someone presents themselves in pictures can indicate to me something more about personality. Is the picture posed or natural? Is the smile just on the lips or in the eyes as well?

I am attracted to happiness and wholeness. I want security, yes......not just financial but mainly EMOTIONAL. I am done with guys who have issues. I have always had a "fix it" mentality, and all it's given me is heartache. 

Honesty, integrity, self worth, compassion, empathy, the ability to COMMUNICATE, and confidence are all SUPER attractive to me.


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