# What Women Think vs. What Men Think



## Batman4691 (Jun 24, 2013)

The other day I was fortunate enough to be engaged with my wife sexually. While so engaged, I noticed my wife's eyes were closed, and she appeared deep in thought, (as so often they are lately during such a bi-monthly event). 

I asked her what she was thinking. To which she replied, "Nothing really, just feeling." 

REALLY? Is that what was going through her mind?

Maybe I am over thinking this, but shouldn't there be something more than that if she is being honest with me. Good grief, I may have well been giving her a foot massage.
I know what's going on in my mind during sex, and it isn't just "feeling".

So my question is for both sexes. 
What are you thinking when engaged in the art of making love?


----------



## AnnieAsh (Aug 22, 2012)

Batman4691 said:


> The other day I was fortunate enough to be engaged with my wife sexually. While so engaged, I noticed my wife's eyes were closed, and she appeared deep in thought, (as so often they are lately during such a bi-monthly event).
> 
> I asked her what she was thinking. To which she replied, "Nothing really, just feeling."
> 
> ...


I close my eyes during sex. In fact, if my eyes are open, that generally means I am not enjoying it. I find that closing my eyes makes the sensations more intense. It helps me focus on my body and my husband. 

I don't think about anything during sex either, except maybe "more more more." Too many thoughts distract me.


----------



## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

AnnieAsh said:


> I close my eyes during sex. In fact, if my eyes are open, that generally means I am not enjoying it. I find that closing my eyes makes the sensations more intense. It helps me focus on my body and my husband.
> 
> I don't think about anything during sex either, except maybe "more more more." Too many thoughts distract me.


Mrs. Hambone says you are way over thinking this..

She says she to is focused on the "feeling"..


----------



## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

I close my eyes during sex to concentrate on the sensations, if my eyes are open it's not so intense.


----------



## straighttrack7 (Jul 12, 2013)

Usually I close my eyes and make the sex way more intense than it is, my wife isn't very creative and only does it missionary usually, so Iimagine her making out with another girl, or sometimes I imagine I'm with someone else if my wife has recently upset me...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## ASummersDay (Mar 4, 2013)

Who knows what she's thinking about? I often close my eyes during sex, especially when it feels really good. I do it without even realizing it.


----------



## AnnieAsh (Aug 22, 2012)

hambone said:


> Mrs. Hambone says you are way over thinking this..
> 
> She says she to is focused on the "feeling"..


She says *I* am overthinking this? Or the OP?


----------



## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

I think you have your answer....The ladies like to close their eyes during sex, so they can concentrate on the sensations they are feeling....

I get the same response from my wife....I think it may take more concentration for most women to orgasm, thus the sensory deprivation of closing their eyes...

I would like to put my wife on a water bed, blindfold her, put some noisc cancelling headphones on her with white noise, and then work her over from top to bottom....In fact I would totally love the wife to give me oral under the same circumstances....I'll bet it would be FANTASTIC...

the woodchuck


----------



## Jakobi Greenleaf (Sep 19, 2012)

I've heard that if you lose your eyesight your hearing gets better to compensate. It makes a measure of sense to me that if you lose one sense the others are heightened. Therefore, closing ones eyes should make the other senses more receptive.


----------



## AlphaProvider (Jul 8, 2013)

Jakobi Greenleaf said:


> I've heard that if you lose your eyesight your hearing gets better to compensate. It makes a measure of sense to me that if you lose one sense the others are heightened. Therefore, closing ones eyes should make the other senses more receptive.


Yeah, but the sight of it was a great percentage of the pleasure to begin with. So you are knocking it down a few pegs, especially if you enjoy what you have to look at!


----------



## justdance4me (Jul 12, 2013)

Depending on the position, I more often than not keep my eyes OPEN. My FH says he likes looking in my beautiful eyes as he comes and/or I come (sorry TMI). Rarely do we do missionary, if I do my legs are on his shoulders. I am definitely a visual person, I like seeing things. But thats just me, I have no problems looking down "there" and watching the thrusting or watching him do oral, that stuff turns me on.


----------



## Giro flee (Mar 12, 2013)

I'm another woman who keeps her eyes shut. I need to really concentrate on how my body is feeling, if I open my eyes I get too easily distracted. We do employ the blindfold as well if I'm having a difficult time becoming aroused.


----------



## 1971 (Mar 7, 2013)

Batman4691 said:


> I know what's going on in my mind during sex, and it isn't just "feeling".


Firstly Batman can I ask "what's going on in your mind"

I suppose I mostly have my eyes closed, it depends on the position.


----------



## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

I believe the original question was "what are you thinking when making love."

I'm usually thinking about how good it feels. So intensely good. My eyes can be open or close. That's why my favorite positions are ones where I can see his face.


----------



## AlphaProvider (Jul 8, 2013)

Giro flee said:


> I'm another woman who keeps her eyes shut. I need to really concentrate on how my body is feeling, if I open my eyes I get too easily distracted. We do employ the blindfold as well if I'm having a difficult time becoming aroused.


My woman is so sexy, the sight of her raises the intensity up an extra two notches on a scale of ten. Closing the eyes cuts down on some of the recieved pleasure, because some of it came through the eyes.


----------



## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

Batman4691 said:


> The other day I was fortunate enough to be engaged with my wife sexually. While so engaged, I noticed my wife's eyes were closed, and she appeared deep in thought, (as so often they are lately during such a bi-monthly event).
> 
> I asked her what she was thinking. To which she replied, "Nothing really, just feeling."
> 
> ...


I can't really say that I "think" much during sex. I don't like to be distracted because it effects arousal, and if I think too much about being aroused/getting aroused, it can have a reverse effect and make it next to impossible to become aroused. So I usually don't think during sex. I just "feel", though that does require some though. I think about how my body feels before arousal, how it feels during arousal, and how it feels after arousal. I imagine how wonderful sex is with my husband and how great it feels when he fondles me, etc. 

But usually, I just try to relax and focus on my body and its natural responses.


----------



## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

I close my eyes sometimes, but out closet doors are made of mirrors, and I _*loovvee*_ watching us having sex, so I don't usually close my eyes often. I close my eyes when making out, though.


----------



## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Your wife is telling the truth. Last thing on my mind are thoughts. I'm just enjoying the feeling.


----------



## Batman4691 (Jun 24, 2013)

1971 said:


> Firstly Batman can I ask "what's going on in your mind"
> 
> I suppose I mostly have my eyes closed, it depends on the position.


What's going on in my mind?......

A whole variety of things. 

I am focused on my wife's movements and responses to me.
Depending upon our sexual position, I am watching the expressions on her face. Am I making her feel good, great, or making her see stars. 

I am watching and feeling her hands on me, or where they are. The hands can be a great indicator of pleasure. Are they gripping the sheets, grabbing the headboard or running up and down my body, pulling me into her. 

I am marveling at the beauty of her face, the way her hair hangs down and covers her breasts, which is just enough to cover her nipples, giving me the vision of making love to a mermaid.
I am watching and feeling her hip movements as they twist and grind into me or pull away when she arches her back. 
I am thinking about her stunning voluptuousness, the smallness of her waist in comparison to her buttocks and the large curves of her breasts. 
I am wondering if I am meeting her sexual desires, or hopefully surpassing them. 
I am thinking of possibly the next sexual position to give us a different angle to change up the sensations.
I am feeling the incredible softness of her skin against mine.

Do I need to continue?


----------



## john117 (May 20, 2013)

I marvel at the coincidences that brought us to this country from two different continents and gave us 25 good years and at the luck of the draw type events that also gave us the last 5...

I also marvel at the awesome genetic stock of Farawaystan women who manage to age as slowly as Aes Sedai for those into fantasy fiction... She easily passes for 15 years younger than her mid 50's.


----------



## Wukar (Jun 4, 2013)

*Re: Re: What Women Think vs. What Men Think*



Created2Write said:


> I close my eyes sometimes, but out closet doors are made of mirrors, and I _*loovvee*_ watching us having sex, so I don't usually close my eyes often. I close my eyes when making out, though.


Yeah watching your bodies moving against each other can be a HUGE turn. Especially when you have the eye candy that i married.

C2W, you say you close your eyes while making out....? 
Mostly. 

Source: myself, making out with you.


----------



## Jakobi Greenleaf (Sep 19, 2012)

*Re: Re: What Women Think vs. What Men Think*



AlphaProvider said:


> Yeah, but the sight of it was a great percentage of the pleasure to begin with. So you are knocking it down a few pegs, especially if you enjoy what you have to look at!


I agree that sight is a major part of the pleasure. There are a lot of things I like to see. Both my wife and I keep our eyes open. Just offering a potential reason for the eyes being shut.


----------



## AlphaProvider (Jul 8, 2013)

Batman4691 said:


> What's going on in my mind?......
> 
> A whole variety of things.
> 
> ...


With all those points, I don't know how your erection doesn't split your skin like a hotdog that's been in the boiling water too long.


----------



## 1971 (Mar 7, 2013)

Batman4691 said:


> What's going on in my mind?......
> 
> A whole variety of things.
> 
> ...



That is very touching, I wish my husband thought just half of what you do for your wife. But sadly I don't think so.


----------



## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

AnnieAsh said:


> She says *I* am overthinking this? Or the OP?


OP


----------



## Batman4691 (Jun 24, 2013)

AlphaProvider said:


> With all those points, I don't know how your erection doesn't split your skin like a hotdog that's been in the boiling water too long.


I have thousands of thoughts along those lines, and YES, when my wife wants too, she can turn up the heat and make me feel like 5 lbs. of meat in a 2 lb. package. 

I am really surprised at how many women need to shut out their surroundings and concentrate on the "feeling". Whereas, for men, I think it comes so naturally, and so much so, we sometimes need a distracting thought to prolong the act itself.


----------



## Batman4691 (Jun 24, 2013)

1971 said:


> That is very touching, I wish my husband thought just half of what you do for your wife. But sadly I don't think so.


Why don't you think so?

He might. Have you ever asked him? 
I love it when my wife tells me things during sex. It shows me that she is engaged and playing an active role in trying to please me as well as herself. 
Communication during sex can be very erotic if done the right way. Even body language speaks volumes.


----------



## AnnieAsh (Aug 22, 2012)

The sights, the sounds, the smells, the tastes of lovemaking all contribute to the experience. But I can say definitively that I have no thoughts in my head during the act. Ask me my name and I couldn't tell you. 

That's why I married him.


----------



## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

Created2Write said:


> I close my eyes sometimes, but out closet doors are made of* mirrors*, and I _*loovvee*_ watching us having sex, so I don't usually close my eyes often. I close my eyes when making out, though.


Mirrors change EVERYTHING


----------



## AlphaProvider (Jul 8, 2013)

TiggyBlue said:


> Mirrors change EVERYTHING


I know talking about all this is getting a big rise outta me.


----------



## FemBot (May 1, 2013)

I keep my eyes open and my thoughts impure


----------



## AlphaProvider (Jul 8, 2013)

FemBot said:


> I keep my eyes open and my thoughts impure


That's probably the key to keeping the sex drive up.


----------



## AlphaProvider (Jul 8, 2013)

Satya said:


> Admittedly it's been a while for me, but when ex H and I had sex I would always take time to look him right in the eyes. Sometimes this would happen during foreplay, or most often while I was riding him. I'd lean down, take his face in my hands, and just stare into his eyes. The way I'm describing it might sound a bit freaky but it was something important to both of us. We'd actually lean into each other until our eyes were nearly touching, eyelashes brushing when we blinked. We'd call it "eye-to-eye." I'd stare deep down into his soul. I'm actually suddenly overcome with sadness that I've just remembered it's what we used to do.


I liked doing that. Want to do it again with someone I trust even more deeply and care for stronger.


----------



## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

Satya said:


> Admittedly it's been a while for me, but when ex H and I had sex I would always take time to look him right in the eyes. Sometimes this would happen during foreplay, or most often while I was riding him. I'd lean down, take his face in my hands, and just stare into his eyes. The way I'm describing it might sound a bit freaky but it was something important to both of us. We'd actually lean into each other until our eyes were nearly touching, eyelashes brushing when we blinked. We'd call it "eye-to-eye." I'd stare deep down into his soul. I'm actually suddenly overcome with sadness that I've just remembered it's what we used to do.


I don't know what happened but, you guys were connected at one point.

I love watching my wife when we're making love.


----------



## Giro flee (Mar 12, 2013)

We tried the mirrors, H liked it but I actually thought we looked ridiculous and had a hard time not laughing. Visual stimuli doesn't really turn me on I guess.


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I sometimes have my eyes closed....and other times wide open...after a romantic vacation with a "mirrors on the ceiling" bedroom.....I came home wanting to allow ourselves a similar experience....we skipped the ceiling .... but planted a huge one at the foot of the bed... this adds to the excitement.... ..I look down into his face.... I love it all... 

The sensual visual and the feeling pleasure ....I take it all in... I am in the moment... but then I may cross to another place...fantasies not yet lived....we could be on an ocean shore at night...for example... alone in the woods ...frisky picnic lunch turned to making love on a blanket... ... I generally have scenarios dancing in my head ...sometimes when we are done.... I tell him where we were ! He likes that.


----------



## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

You poor guy......Not for your wife closing her eyes, for being a retired law enforcement officer in Illinois....

Being in law enforcement in Illinois must really SUCK...

Lived there 30 years.....Come down to Arkansas and start
over...

I did in 1980.......


the woodchuck


----------



## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

Isn't it nice to just feel for once instead of having to constantly think about things?

I mean - if she said she was making a grocery list in her head that would be one thing. She was just in the moment - I would consider that a compliment.


----------



## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

john117 said:


> I marvel at the coincidences that brought us to this country from two different continents and gave us 25 good years and at the luck of the draw type events that also gave us the last 5...
> 
> I also marvel at the awesome genetic stock of Farawaystan women who manage to age as slowly as Aes Sedai for those into fantasy fiction... She easily passes for 15 years younger than her mid 50's.


Jordan - one of my favorite Sci Fi writers. His death was shocking, never finished his epic Wheel of Time saga. 

Never thought about it. Just go with what ever I feel at the time. Totally into the most intense pleasure and emotions of my life. Eyes closed most of the time.


----------



## Batman4691 (Jun 24, 2013)

SimplyAmorous said:


> The sensual visual and the feeling pleasure ....I take it all in... I am in the moment... but then I may cross to another place...fantasies not yet lived....we could be on an ocean shore at night...for example... alone in the woods ...frisky picnic lunch turned to making love on a blanket... ... I generally have scenarios dancing in my head ...sometimes when we are done.... I tell him where we were ! He likes that.


Why did you wait until you were done before telling your husband?


----------



## Batman4691 (Jun 24, 2013)

Woodchuck said:


> You poor guy......Not for your wife closing her eyes, for being a retired law enforcement officer in Illinois....
> 
> Being in law enforcement in Illinois must really SUCK...
> 
> ...


_Thread Aside:_

That's why I took out my retirement only after 22 years, with the last 9 being in the gang task force, and a detective in the Crimes Against Children Unit. Got really mentally and emotionally burned out. Not to mention all the game playing and bad politics going on.
I have now taken to gardening and my landscaping projects. Lots of time alone in the garden is nice.
I miss my coworkers though, some of the best people on the planet.


----------



## Batman4691 (Jun 24, 2013)

MissScarlett said:


> Isn't it nice to just feel for once instead of having to constantly think about things?
> 
> I mean - if she said she was making a grocery list in her head that would be one thing. She was just in the moment - I would consider that a compliment.


Well, I guess my next question to you then, is it usually the case for you, or anyone else reading the thread, to go through an entire sexual encounter with your partner silent?


----------



## 1971 (Mar 7, 2013)

Batman4691 said:


> Why don't you think so?
> 
> He might. Have you ever asked him?
> I love it when my wife tells me things during sex. It shows me that she is engaged and playing an active role in trying to please me as well as herself.
> Communication during sex can be very erotic if done the right way. Even body language speaks volumes.


No I haven't asked him but considering he hasn't told me he loves me since January 2013 I can't see him thinking those beautiful thoughts about me.
We have a difficult relationship Batman but thanks anyway.


----------



## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Batman4691 said:


> _Thread Aside:_
> 
> That's why I took out my retirement only after 22 years, with the last 9 being in the gang task force, and a detective in the Crimes Against Children Unit. Got really mentally and emotionally burned out. Not to mention all the game playing and bad politics going on.
> I have now taken to gardening and my landscaping projects. Lots of time alone in the garden is nice.
> I miss my coworkers though, some of the best people on the planet.


I know how you feel...I was a mechanical designer (itinerant inventor) loved the people, loved the work, don't miss the job. Retired 2 years ago

I take it you were in Cook county?....

I met my wife in East St. Louis.....So I know the definition of hell hole....Corruption beyond belief, and the sleeziest politics on the planet.......

I was forced to leave in 1980, due to loss of a job.....Saw an add in the St. Louis Post Dispatch, and wound up in Arkansas....The rest was like a movie script...Great people, great jobs, great place to live.....

the woodchuck


----------



## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

I've never asked my STBW what she thinks about when we are making love. I think I will. I know for myself, my eyes are open almost the whole time, and sometimes, it's like an out of body experience as I see, feel, taste, and smell what I am doing with this incredible woman, what she is doing with me, what we are doing with each other. We often stare into each others eyes, and the connection is so intense and breathtaking.


----------



## greeneyedlily (Nov 10, 2012)

I am a visual kind of woman so eye contact means alot to me during sex, I love looking into his eyes and seeing him get turned on, and fight to hold on as he gets closer to the edge. Also just the love thing, I think it is an expression of love for me to give him so I want him to see in my eyes that I am with him in every way, so yep I get how you fee bat...


----------



## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

Woodchuck said:


> wound up in Arkansas....The rest was like a movie script...Great people, great jobs, great place to live.....
> 
> the woodchuck


You live in Arkansas Woodchuck?


I was born and raised in Arkansas.


----------



## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

If my husband and I are ever silent in bed, it's because we don't want the person in the other room to hear us. And since no one else lives with us...it would be very odd for us to be silent. I am very noisy.


----------



## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

We're not silent especially me but it not like we're giving a running commentary either. "Next we're going to move into cowgirl position on the count of three" ...

I usually just moaning and calling his name. He usually just saying to stuff to further seduce me into submission.


----------



## Batman4691 (Jun 24, 2013)

committed4ever said:


> We're not silent especially me but it not like we're giving a running commentary either. "Next we're going to move into cowgirl position on the count of three" ...
> 
> I usually just moaning and calling his name. He usually just saying to stuff to further seduce me into submission.


I agree, I don't want a running commentary. Although I am usually the verbal one. Telling her how beautiful she is, or how good she feels, etc. 

I wouldn't want a running commentary from her either, but a few breathless words, some verbal sounds, or even an occasional sexual comment, or instruction, (i.e., "Do me faster, baby."), goes along way for me.


----------



## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

Batman4691 said:


> Well, I guess my next question to you then, is it usually the case for you, or anyone else reading the thread, to go through an entire sexual encounter with your partner silent?


My SO (male) keeps his eyes closed and never makes a sound. He won't talk, won't say what he likes, won't utter anything louder than a gasp.


----------



## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Eyes open,Eyes closed,noisy,silent.Whatever as long as we both enjoy it and orgasm 
Our experiences vary.Sometimes we're tired and we just want that silent closeness with whispers,pleased sighs,and deep looks or no looks at all just feeling.Other times we're fired up and want some aggression with full on loudness.
As long as our bodies are moving together and we feel good afterward,it doesn't matter.

I think many times people expect a certain thing from the other person and when that person doesn't behave 'correctly' a massive amount of incorrect assumptions are made.I think it's wrong to think if a person isn't acting a certain way during sex then they aren't into it or enjoying it.I fell into that trap a few times w/SO and almost ruined a perfectly healthy sex life because of it.


----------



## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

always_alone said:


> My SO (male) keeps his eyes closed and never makes a sound. He won't talk, won't say what he likes, won't utter anything louder than a gasp.


You probably like that gasp.


----------

