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## Unknown2u (May 19, 2021)

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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

I'm not sure if you mention it in your post, but do you have a job or kids? 38 is still young. I would just get rid of this loser. You deserve better.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Do you own your own home or have other assets?


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

Unknown2u said:


> What I am trying to do is get my health together and become independent and if God/universe grants me further life then I will see if I can find my own little happiness alone elsewhere.


This is what I highly recommend. There are a few exceptions, of course, but in the vast majority of cases, God/universe helps those who pray, then get up off their knees and work toward their goal. In the vast majority of cases, also, God/universe grants long and fruitful life to those who take care of themselves. God/universe adds His/it's blessing to it. Keep your health, it is precious. 



Unknown2u said:


> How do I stop loving someone? I feel like I will truly love him for ever. :-(


Ok. There is no need to stop loving anyone, not even your husband. Whether you love him, or not, is irrelevant. If that is forever, so what ?

This is relevant:



In Absentia said:


> I would just get rid of this loser. You deserve better.


And, it is not too late for you to bear children. My former daughter-in-law (my son is deceased) had her baby at your age. Baby and mother are healthy and happy. My son's ability to father children was destroyed by cancer treatment. However, he lived 26 years in remission and 22 years with his wife.



Unknown2u said:


> in hopes that God or Universe will use my suffering to save others.


I do not limit the power, nor the choices, of God/universe. However, again, in the majority cases, God/universe uses the _overcoming_, the restoration of health, and the testimony of the again healthful, to "save" others. And, God/universe also uses the lives of others who have lived their lives with grace and fortitude even in the midst of suffering to save others.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

No one is going to call you stupid. Smart people make stupid decisions all the time. None of us knows for sure, but I doubt there is a person who reads your post who will believe that he's not involved in multiple affairs. That's why you're not getting any sex. 

You're not stupid, but you do need to wise up. You have to get over the feeling that it's him or nothing. He is toxic.


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## Unknown2u (May 19, 2021)

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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

Is there a women's shelter that you can go go? Your husband sounds like quite the character, and I feel like you can do much better. I divorced at your age, and managed to find a fantastic partner after that. Like you, I was also bullied and treated poorly by many people, including my own family, so I know what that feels like, and it's awful. I'm sorry that you went through that. You need to raise your self-worth, and realize that you're worth much (MUCH) more than your H is giving you. If I were you, I would look into a women's shelter, and perhaps stock up on your medication as much as you're allowed beforehand, if you won't have health insurance if you leave him. I know that where I am in Canada, we're allowed to have 3 months of meds on hand. Do you have a church nearby? Perhaps you can go there to ask for some guidance?


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## Unknown2u (May 19, 2021)

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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Unknown2u said:


> Thank you so much. Even if I end up alone it has to be better than this torture. I am so glad that you found someone and you get a happy life. The fact that you can relate to me in many ways is amazing because that gives me hope. I am not sure about a shelter or if I would be that brave. I am hoping I can manage to get some of my balance health issues at least those under control so I can function in a work place. Save up and leave because the type of future he has painted for us is hell. I am not on any meds anymore but I will stock up on other supplements. I will try to ask for help at a Church because there is one near by and I would love to speak to someone there. Thank you


Yes please do ask at the church. 
Do you have any joint assets?


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## Unknown2u (May 19, 2021)

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## Unknown2u (May 19, 2021)

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## Unknown2u (May 19, 2021)

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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Unknown2u said:


> I have been with my husband for over 23 years and am 38 hubby is 37 (husband 4 months younger than me). We have had a lot of ups and downs but I love him despite everything. We got together at the age of 15 and he pulled me in with all his love and promises.
> His words in a nutshell:
> "I have a fantasy of having everything...you get what you want but I still keep you and you make your delicious food for all of my guest and we have sex together. yes most of my guest will be women. I love you you are special I can't replace you. I don't want to loose you. Yes I want all these women to hug me and kiss me. I can't guarantee nor promise I won't cheat on you because I want their hugs and kisses and their juices inside my mouth. you are such a good woman to stay with me. You have every right to hate me and you should of been with another guy. All my friends wanted to be with you and they would have married you and given you kids and a house. I am a monster I am so sorry. I can't give you my love and either give it to all of them or no one. I just go to get coffee to get attention from an 18 year old. I am wanted and I am in my prime. You have made this all possible because you are such a good woman you have made it easy. You made me attractive. If it had been another woman I would have had four children already and be miserable. You are the sacrifice so that I can have this. My friend use to F so many random girls and I didn't and hell yeah I wanted to. I am always manipulating you."


This is one of two things

1. Some teenager trying to pull a fast one here on TAM

OR

2. I know this is supposed to be a fantasy but he sounds like a narcissistic a**hole who deserves a kick to the nuts. Learn about narcissism. He sounds like one.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

He says this is a fantasy -- do you have proof that he has done anything?
In any event, he really sounds like he has no consideration of your feelings and figures you will stick around no matter what he says/does.
You Do realize that if you divorce you will be getting money and support, yes? If you are worried -- go talk to a lawyer and/or research divorce laws where you live. This will get rid of the fear of not knowing what could happen if you divorce him.


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