# I dont wanna hurt anyone!!!



## gcs (Dec 3, 2013)

I'm 38, I've been married 14 years. I love my Husband, we've been through a lot. He took my kids on as his own, provided for us, we've never wanted for anything.
However...
There's another man. We have had oral sex, groped, kissed, made out, no intercourse (He has a small penis)...This guy we will call X. He's sweet, kind, listens, and is there when I need him. 
Hubby and I get along great, no problems anywhere in our marriage. IDK why I cant let X go, why cant I end this affair that's been on and off for 2 years? I'm so mad at myself...I try to end it, but I never stick w/ it. Hubby hasnt found out, I did have X over to meet hubby because we were talking about having a threesome, but hubby said X wasnt MY type lol 
How in the world do I end it and stick with it? How do I let it go, stop thinkin about him? I have at home, what most women would kill to have..yet I chance it daily...


----------



## verpin zal (Feb 23, 2013)

gcs said:


> *lol*


----------



## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

gcs said:


> I'm 38, I've been married 14 years. I love my Husband, we've been through a lot. He took my kids on as his own, provided for us, we've never wanted for anything.
> However...
> There's another man. We have had oral sex, groped, kissed, made out, no intercourse (He has a small penis)...This guy we will call X. He's sweet, kind, listens, and is there when I need him.
> Hubby and I get along great, no problems anywhere in our marriage. IDK why I cant let X go, why cant I end this affair that's been on and off for 2 years? I'm so mad at myself...I try to end it, but I never stick w/ it. Hubby hasnt found out, I did have X over to meet hubby because we were talking about having a threesome, but hubby said X wasnt MY type lol
> How in the world do I end it and stick with it? How do I let it go, stop thinkin about him? I have at home, what most women would kill to have..yet I chance it daily...


So you tried, intercourse, but his penis was too small? Did it not reach? Would you be able to have intercourse with him if his penis were larger? It's obvious this is all about penis size, I'd go with the one that has the larger wanker.


----------



## DarkHoly (Dec 18, 2012)

You need to look within for answers. The thing that is right is what feels good to you. You're a good person and you deserve to feel pleasure; it's only natural. As long as your husband doesn't find out it's not wrong. 

Remember above all that your happiness comes first. As long as you believe in yourself everything will be alright!


----------



## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

Oh brother :bsflag:


----------



## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

Dark, your advice is good, but you're ignoring the tiny wanker issue. Why have an OM with a tiny weenie when you can find one with a larger package?


----------



## Differentguy (Oct 3, 2013)

DarkHoly said:


> You need to look within for answers. The thing that is right is what feels good to you. You're a good person and you deserve to feel pleasure; it's only natural. As long as your husband doesn't find out it's not wrong.
> 
> Remember above all that your happiness comes first. As long as you believe in yourself everything will be alright!


Please let this be sarcasm.

Edit-Obvious sarcasm is obvious.


----------



## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

russell28 said:


> Hey, if he can't reach it.. that's just nature taking it's course. He'll not be able to reproduce. Life isn't fair.


With all that invitro fertilization and turkey baster spermal insemination there are ways around that. 

Even small peeners keep their genes moving forward.

That's the big problem with the human race. We're not really evolving, with all the medical cures and work arounds for disabilities such as small penises, everybody stays in the pool.


----------



## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

lenzi said:


> With all that invitro fertilization and turkey baster spermal insemination there are ways around that.
> 
> Even small peeners keep their genes moving forward.
> 
> That's the big problem with the human race. We're not really evolving, with all the medical cures and work arounds for disabilities such as small penises, everybody stays in the pool.


The intro to the movie Idiocracy comes to mind... 


I do hope this poor chap can get help for his tiny wiener.


----------



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

russell28 said:


> So you tried, intercourse, but his penis was too small? Did it not reach? Would you be able to have intercourse with him if his penis were larger? It's obvious this is all about penis size, I'd go with the one that has the larger wanker.


:rofl:


----------



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

Maybe X isn't even a man - what if it's a woman???


----------



## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

Healer said:


> Maybe X isn't even a man - what if it's a woman???


X means woman

Y means man

I read that somewhere


----------



## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

OMG, that explains the little weewee... it could actually be a large clitorus.

Does "X" have a name like Pat, or Chris? Terry?


----------



## DarkHoly (Dec 18, 2012)

Differentguy said:


> Please let this be sarcasm.
> 
> Edit-Obvious sarcasm is obvious.


Do you know who I am?


----------



## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

DarkHoly said:


> Do you know who I am?


You are someone who lives on a mountain.


----------



## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

So tell your H that you already had a threesome with tiny and he was not there.

Tell him all about tiny and your affair. But do watch out now that there is a new more powerful HIV that has been discovered. You could still get it from tiny.


----------



## missthelove2013 (Sep 23, 2013)

if the penis is too small for the front 9, try playing the back 9

if the op is truly serious, then she needs to give her husband a courtesy divorce and let him go, spare him from the pos he married and let him move on...


----------



## gcs (Dec 3, 2013)

I figured you would ask why we havent had sex! He said he's afraid he cant please me, Hell IDK, hubby has a big **** so....it's not about that at all...it's an EA but I cant let go


----------



## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

gcs said:


> I figured you would ask why we havent had sex! He said he's afraid he cant please me, Hell IDK, hubby has a big **** so....it's not about that at all...it's an EA but I cant let go


PA in my book - as you wrote, *We have had oral sex, groped, kissed, made out, no intercourse (He has a small penis)..*

Or is you are using Clinton's definition then I guess it is not sex, but what do I know?

*yet I chance it daily... *

Do you really want to stop?


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

gcs said:


> ...
> There's another man. We have had oral sex, groped, kissed, made out, no intercourse (*He has a small penis*)...This guy we will call X. He's sweet, kind, listens, and is there when I need him.
> Hubby and I get along great, no problems anywhere in our marriage. IDK why I cant let X go, why cant I end this affair that's been on and off for 2 years? I'm so mad at myself...I try to end it, but I never stick w/ it. Hubby hasnt found out, I did have X over to meet hubby because we were talking about having a threesome, but hubby said X wasnt MY type *lol *


And you are laughing about that? :scratchhead:

Why didn't you just tell him right then that this is the guy you have been sleeping with for 2 years now? 

You let go by...letting go.

You stop the affair by...stopping the affair.

You don't want to hurt anyone? You already have. Yourself, too.

If this isn't a troll...


----------



## InlandTXMM (Feb 15, 2013)

Now all snark aside, OP, what are you asking us for? What advice do you need that you don't already know the answer to?

You're never going to get the hot dog to fill the hallway, so you may as well run for some horse-hung guy to destroy your family with.

(WTF - why did I even log in here today? Is it a full moon?)


----------



## gcs (Dec 3, 2013)

Just forget it, sorry I asked...sorry I thought this was a board to get advice from.


----------



## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Several posts have been removed for obvious reasons. Nuff Said??


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

gcs said:


> Just forget it, sorry I asked...sorry I thought this was a board to get advice from.


Sorry but your story sounds so incredulous.

Your thread title is silly--you don't want to hurt anyone? Really? You already have. Your marriage, your husband, Tiny Tim, yourself. 

You want to end the affair? Then end it.
You have a choice. You are an adult. 
You seem to have a somewhat open marriage/swinging marriage anyway since your husband wants you to have threesomes with small penis guy. 

It's hard to believe, honestly. Your entire story.


----------



## InlandTXMM (Feb 15, 2013)

GCS, cut to the chase - what are you asking?


----------



## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

gcs said:


> Just forget it, sorry I asked...sorry I thought this was a board to get advice from.


Say "go away X" and don't call him anymore. Don't mention his tiny penis. I hope this helped.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

russell28 said:


> Say "go away X" and don't call him anymore. Don't mention his tiny penis. I hope this helped.


This is all the advice you need, GCS.

The question is: Will you do it? Will you actually follow through?


----------



## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

Sounds like the marriage is perfect otherwise, large well hung husband.. she just needs to tell X "no", next time he tries to get oral or anything that's not intercourse because his penis is too small for that.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

You should summarize every thread, Russell28.


----------



## InlandTXMM (Feb 15, 2013)

I'm sorry, I just envision OP trying to suck a Frosty through a straw.


----------



## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

I think I have the answer.. tell your husband that X IS your type, aside from his small penis.. that you like oral with X, and you like intercourse with your husband.. so I think it's obvious what to do.


----------



## InlandTXMM (Feb 15, 2013)

I think the Mods are working overtime to stop our nonsense.

Sorry, guys! After a lot of investment in troll posts lately, this was kind of cathartic. I'll behave.


----------



## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

InlandTXMM said:


> I think the Mods are working overtime to stop our nonsense.
> 
> Sorry, guys! After a lot of investment in troll posts lately, this was kind of cathartic. I'll behave.


Spidey sense


----------



## minebeloved (Nov 7, 2013)

this smell like a troll


----------



## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

InlandTXMM said:


> I'm sorry, I just envision OP trying to suck a Frosty through a straw.


Now that is just crazy talk! We all know you eat a Frosty with a spoon!


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

gcs said:


> it's an EA


Really? So your husband wouldn't mind you going down on "X"? Cos, after all, it's just emotional.


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

gcs said:


> Just forget it, sorry I asked...sorry I thought this was a board to get advice from.


If you're looking for a board that's going to tell you it's ok to be a cheater, you HAVE come to the wrong place.


----------



## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Amplexor said:


> Nuff Said??





minebeloved said:


> this smell like a troll


Apparently not.


----------



## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

A breathtaking example of today's widespread arrogant sense of entitlement.


----------



## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

gcs said:


> Just forget it, sorry I asked...sorry I thought this was a board to get advice from.


This is a board where the majority of people come because they are suffering at the hands of someone LIKE you. The majority here are coping with infidelity on the shyte side of the situation.

You tell a story of a good man who takes your kids on as his own, provides for you, and you want for nothing. And this is how you repay him?
What part of that story did you think would NOT ruffle the feathers of people here who are in your husband's shoes?

I don't know about the comments that were removed, but everything else people have been telling you is spot on. You just don't want to hear it.


----------



## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

InlandTXMM said:


> I think the Mods are working overtime to stop our nonsense.
> 
> Sorry, guys! After a lot of investment in troll posts lately, this was kind of cathartic. I'll behave.


Well I didn't read the removed posts, so I don't know of their contents. Obviously they were offensive to GCS.

So since GCS's post is offensive to me, and I'd guess many others, well....????


----------



## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

vellocet said:


> So since GCS's post is offensive to me, and I'd guess many others, well....????


I think posts like this should stay up, along with the not so nice comments. Heck, I think they should be stickied. Maybe it would make a few people out there sit up and realize that what they're doing is really really sh!tty. And maybe people would think before they post such things in the future and we wouldn't have to deal with the triggers and whatnot such posts cause.


----------



## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

I find it difficult to believe that anyone who can, with a straight face, introduce a sex partner of two years to her husband with the idea of a threesome, would need advice from a group of strangers. I mean, that takes b*lls, more than 4, seems like 6 to me. I don't think most of us have the experience to be able to advise you on this one. Maybe the cheating, and maybe the threesome, but combined like that, I think you're on your own.


----------



## verpin zal (Feb 23, 2013)

Homemaker_Numero_Uno said:


> I find it difficult to believe that anyone who can, *with a straight face, introduce a sex partner* of two years to her husband with the idea of a threesome, would need advice from a group of strangers. I mean, that takes b*lls, more than 4, seems like 6 to me. I don't think most of us have the experience to be able to advise you on this one. Maybe the cheating, and maybe the threesome, but combined like that, I think you're on your own.


I was the "introduced party". Not introduced, to be precise, I was his friend. So I have some knowledge on that one. 

During the whole mess, you feel like your acting skills surpass even that of the best actor ever lived.. You taste the arrogance on which you would refuse to be nominated for an oscar statuette and tell the press "yeah, what's the big deal?" on your way home, right outta the performance hall..

Years later you realize not only you'd never be nominated for an academy award, but you would in fact not be worth even the mention for some rotten tomatoes.

As The Comedian of Watchmen puts it, it's just a big f*cking joke. Maybe not at the time, but certainly later, for both the wayward and the f*ck toy. It becomes quite a joke when the betrayed discovers and whispers, ultimately calm, with nothing to lose, to your faces in the room - "god damn you both". Takes his coat and just walks away. And you just watch, your fantasy land suddenly ablaze. That hurt, I'll tell you that. I'm an atheist, and that hurt like you wouldn't believe. His last look at me hurt.

The man's performance was worth an academy award. For the "Display of Sangfroid for the current era".

(manticore, you around? I guess that answers your question a while ago, if partially.)


----------



## unheld (Sep 20, 2013)

GCS, the size of your lover's tiny pecker should not matter, it is what you feel in your heart that you should do.

:moon:


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

gcs said:


> I'm 38, I've been married 14 years. I love my Husband, we've been through a lot. He took my kids on as his own, provided for us, we've never wanted for anything.
> However...
> There's another man. We have had oral sex, groped, kissed, made out, no intercourse (He has a small penis)...This guy we will call X. He's sweet, kind, listens, and is there when I need him.
> Hubby and I get along great,* no problems anywhere in our marriage. *IDK why I cant let X go, why cant I end this affair that's been on and off for 2 years? I'm so mad at myself...I try to end it, but I never stick w/ it. Hubby hasnt found out, I did have X over to meet hubby because we were talking about having a threesome, but hubby said X wasnt MY type lol
> How in the world do I end it and stick with it? How do I let it go, stop thinkin about him? I have at home, what most women would kill to have..yet I chance it daily...


*No problems except you are having sexual relations with another man. *:FIREdevil::FIREdevil::FIREdevil:

Oh,God! I think I just stumbled and fell down a rabbit hole!


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

minebeloved said:


> this smell like a troll


Then report it to admin! DUH!!!!!

Oh. Too late, you got yourself banned.

Oh, well...


----------



## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

Unnecessary.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

lenzi said:


> Unnecessary.


What was unnecessary?


----------



## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

The last 5 posts on this thread including this one.


----------



## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

verpin zal said:


> I was the "introduced party". Not introduced, to be precise, I was his friend. So I have some knowledge on that one.
> 
> During the whole mess, you feel like your acting skills surpass even that of the best actor ever lived.. You taste the arrogance on which you would refuse to be nominated for an oscar statuette and tell the press "yeah, what's the big deal?" on your way home, right outta the performance hall..
> 
> ...


I need more explanation of the role you played and who was who. I couldn't follow because it was all foreign to me. 

But it sounds horrible, which is maybe the point, in that it could be good advice, especially if OP's marriage is to her liking. I can't say good because in my mind that's a 2-sided full-knowledge kind of thing.


----------



## DarkHoly (Dec 18, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> What was unnecessary?


You.


----------



## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

gcs said:


> I'm 38, I've been married 14 years. I love my Husband, we've been through a lot. He took my kids on as his own, provided for us, we've never wanted for anything.
> However...
> There's another man. We have had oral sex, groped, kissed, made out, no intercourse *(He has a small penis)...*This guy we will call X. He's sweet, kind, listens, and is there when I need him.
> Hubby and I get along great, no problems anywhere in our marriage. IDK why I cant let X go, why cant I end this affair that's been on and off for 2 years? I'm so mad at myself...I try to end it, but I never stick w/ it. Hubby hasnt found out, I did have X over to meet hubby because we were talking about having a threesome, but hubby said X wasnt MY type lol
> How in the world do I end it and stick with it? How do I let it go, stop thinkin about him? I have at home, what most women would kill to have..yet I chance it daily...


So 1 and 1/2 penis is your answer ?

Come on Man


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

lenzi said:


> The last 5 posts on this thread including this one.


And the OP seems to be regretting starting the thread in the first place.


----------



## ne9907 (Jul 17, 2013)

gcs said:


> I'm 38, I've been married 14 years. I love my Husband, we've been through a lot. He took my kids on as his own, provided for us, we've never wanted for anything.
> However...
> There's another man. We have had oral sex, groped, kissed, made out, no intercourse (He has a small penis)...This guy we will call X. He's sweet, kind, listens, and is there when I need him.
> Hubby and I get along great, no problems anywhere in our marriage. IDK why I cant let X go, why cant I end this affair that's been on and off for 2 years? I'm so mad at myself...I try to end it, but I never stick w/ it. Hubby hasnt found out, I did have X over to meet hubby because we were talking about having a threesome, but hubby said X wasnt MY type lol
> How in the world do I end it and stick with it? How do I let it go, stop thinkin about him? I have at home, what most women would kill to have..yet I chance it daily...


/rollseyes

Are you freaking kidding me????
you make it sound like it is oh so freaking funny, "has a small penis, lol"

ugh.... I want to vomit


----------



## HarryDoyle (Jan 19, 2013)

I just have to add this thought before this thread disappears like a sock in the dryer.

We probably need to lay off the the small Wang thing! It's actually a benefit in a extramarital relationship. 

My WW' s POSOM had a small member and it worked out just great for her!! Really! He liked her to perform oral sex on him. He also liked to do anal sex on her (things she would never do with me). 

A small Wang was great for this! (Seriously, when I asked my WW if she ever did anal with the OM, my WW's answer was: "he was small!!!!" Like that made it OK). The POSOM also wouldn't do oral on her, so everything worked out just great, she could do oral on him and anal, didn't need to worry about having an "O" because she had me to get her off with some oral and then give her her big Wang fix! Win-win!!!


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

DarkHoly said:


> You.


Oh, that was most rude of you.

But then, I expect that was why you did, it wasn't it?

But, wearing my hat as someone with some training as a counsellor, would you like to talk about why you felt it necessary to be rude?

Do you think you might benefit from counselling for your egregious behaviour?


----------



## unheld (Sep 20, 2013)

No need for everyone who regularly participates here to turn on each other.... the OP obviously left and the infighting is possibly a reward for the bizarre post she started it with


----------



## X-B (Jul 25, 2013)

Looks like my wife joined.


----------



## ceejay93 (Jun 29, 2013)

This thread is rather interesting. o_0


----------



## carpenoctem (Jul 4, 2012)

gcs said:


> I'm 38, I've been married 14 years. I love my Husband, we've been through a lot. He took my kids on as his own, provided for us, we've never wanted for anything.
> However...
> There's another man. We have had oral sex, groped, kissed, made out, no intercourse (He has a small penis)...This guy we will call X. He's sweet, kind, listens, and is there when I need him.
> Hubby and I get along great, no problems anywhere in our marriage. IDK why I cant let X go, why cant I end this affair that's been on and off for 2 years? I'm so mad at myself...I try to end it, but I never stick w/ it. Hubby hasnt found out, I did have X over to meet hubby because we were talking about having a threesome, but hubby said X wasnt MY type lol
> How in the world do I end it and stick with it? How do I let it go, stop thinkin about him? I have at home, what most women would kill to have..yet I chance it daily...



*One can be an OM despite a micro-phallus? That gives ME some hope.

Husband said no to threesome? Maybe because you presented him with two-and-a-half.
*

How to stop it? Just stop it. Especially since you have a good (sic) marriage – in which case, threesome, etc., is a sure-fire method to make sure it does not remain so.

Should you tell him? *Logically, that is his right - to know.* Not a favour extended by you. 



P.S.:
*I hope you are not a BT (Betrayed Troll).* Best of luck.


----------



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

Hope1964 said:


> I think posts like this should stay up, along with the not so nice comments. Heck, I think they should be stickied. Maybe it would make a few people out there sit up and realize that what they're doing is really really sh!tty. And maybe people would think before they post such things in the future and we wouldn't have to deal with the triggers and whatnot such posts cause.


Right, and maybe people will stop cheating.


----------



## Knobbers (Sep 25, 2013)

Gosh darn what a mess op. I'm sorry if some people rubbed you the wrong way, I've seen some massive immaturity creep up in this thread.

If you seriously want help, my answer is to drop one of them from your life forever. I would prefer it was your husband, because if he is as great as you say he is, you don't deserve him at all. Your behavior is deplorable, and I'm not sure you even understand why. It makes me sad that you seriously have to ask what you should do in your situation, its as obvious as the answer of 2+2=4.

Best of luck to you, I feel very sorry for your better half. By the way, you are in a PA, not an EA.


----------



## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

Knobbers said:


> Gosh darn what a mess op. I'm sorry if some people rubbed you the wrong way, I've seen some massive immaturity creep up in this thread.



Yet cheating on a wonderful man with someone who she, for whatever reason, felt the need to mention having a small penis is of the utmost maturity


----------



## Knobbers (Sep 25, 2013)

vellocet said:


> Yet cheating on a wonderful man with someone who she, for whatever reason, felt the need to mention having a small penis is of the utmost maturity


I'd be glad to take this to pm, don't want to hijack the thread.

Has it occurred to anyone that it might not be a lack of maturity for her way of thinking/posting.

Obviously not. The sophomoric humor and condescending nature of the replies shows that. 

Nice of you to defend this behavior.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Eh, nearly everyone said what you told her to do, Knobbers, which was to drop the OM and focus on her marriage or end her marriage and be honest w/ her husband.


----------



## Knobbers (Sep 25, 2013)

Jellybeans said:


> Eh, nearly everyone said what you told her to do, Knobbers, which was to drop the OM and focus on her marriage or end her marriage and be honest w/ her husband.


As my better half would say, its not your message that bothers me, it was your delivery of it.

Thank you for being cordial and not snarky JB.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

No problem, mon!

::Spreads the TAM-love by high-fiving Knobbers::


----------



## DavidWYoung (Feb 3, 2012)

It might just be me but, I like the snarky answers and the delivery every once in a while! Sometimes, this board is a sad place to come to and relive some of my failures. The humor is dark and funny. Just me talking.


----------



## Knobbers (Sep 25, 2013)

DavidWYoung said:


> It might just be me but, I like the snarky answers and the delivery every once in a while! Sometimes, this board is a sad place to come to and relive some of my failures. The humor is dark and funny. Just me talking.


Who would have thought a forum titled 'coping with infidelity' would be a sad place? 

I don't visit here for kicks, I visit to try and help people with my limited knowledge or support people in need. I expect it to be sad at times, I don't expect people to treat others like what I've seen in this thread. If I wanted to see people treated this way, I would go to doc cool and if I wanted kicks I would go to many different websites designed for that.

I understand trolling happens and some stories are bs, that is what the report function is for. When I read this story I felt immense sadness that somebody is so confused. I have no clue what the op IQ is, but sometimes what looks to be a troll could be somebody that isn't lucky enough to have the intelligence of others here. She was obviously looking for advice, even if her delivery and story seems surreal. 

Maybe because I haven't been cheated on and I didn't discover this place to help myself, I'm not getting the humor. I see good people who need help and if I can in some way make their day a little better, I'm going to try my best.


The person I came to this website for is mentally challenged a bit, and some of these responses reminded me of how people treated this person when they reached out in a forum. Sometimes people don't articulate their feelings well or come across as they would like due to circumstances beyond their control, I'm sorry I expected this community to be tolerant of that type of person.

I'm off my soapbox now, sorry this touched a nerve with me.


----------



## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

Knobbers said:


> I'd be glad to take this to pm, don't want to hijack the thread.
> 
> Has it occurred to anyone that it might not be a lack of maturity for her way of thinking/posting.
> 
> ...


Nice of you to defend hers. Works both ways.


----------



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

Knobbers said:


> I'm off my soapbox now, sorry this touched a nerve with me.


You know what touches a nerve with betrayed spouses? People like the OP - genuine or not. You should try and look at it from our perspective as well - not just WS's (or faux WS's - whatever the case _may_ be).


----------



## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

gcs said:


> it's an EA but I cant let go


No, its PA



gcs said:


> We have had oral sex, groped, kissed, made out


----------



## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

Healer said:


> You know what touches a nerve with betrayed spouses? People like the OP - genuine or not. You should try and look at it from our perspective as well - not just WS's (or faux WS's - whatever the case _may_ be).


I agree. But the problem here is that the OP for whatever reason felt the need to bring the OM's penis size into it and downplays what she does as an emotional affair, when its obviously physical.

If someone wants honest advice to her question of how she can let OM go, then its simply a matter of JUST DO IT.

Or, tell her husband she had a physical affair with the OM and her husband's response may just be what she needs to realize she is about to F up a good situation with a man that even takes on her children as his own. You don't get that a lot, and a good man like that does not come around often.

So perhaps the solution is that she needs to be hit with the serious possibility that she can lose this man over some fickle need to have oral sex and groping with another man.

But the fact that she even downplays this as only an EA tells us she isn't interested in hearing what needs to be done.


----------



## InlandTXMM (Feb 15, 2013)

Knobbers said:


> Maybe because I haven't been cheated on and I didn't discover this place to help myself, I'm not getting the humor.


Well that explains it. 

One of those unintended consequences of infidelity is the callouses that can form - entirely out of necessity - on the BS's psyche.

I never knew how much this would change me until I was dropped in the deep end of the pool. As a well-intentioned spectator, you have no idea how icy the water is.

Her story isn't just awful - that's not why she got the scorn she did. It was because it was so far out of bounds it actually crossed into comedy.


----------



## Knobbers (Sep 25, 2013)

Healer said:


> You know what touches a nerve with betrayed spouses? People like the OP - genuine or not. You should try and look at it from our perspective as well - not just WS's (or faux WS's - whatever the case _may_ be).


I'm sorry about whatever pain and suffering you and every BS has gone through, and you are correct that I should put myself in your shoes. Believe it or not, I took that into consideration before posting that reply. I cried with and for the person I have helped, saw first hand the destruction it caused to one of the happiest people I've ever met before all this happened. Yet, no matter how much pain I've felt or am feeling, I am not ignorant enough to believe I've suffered even a millionth of the pain that a BS must go through.

This person and I have suffered through the loss of a loved one with pediatric cancer that spent 14 years fighting and losing the battle. I would say that this BS handled that result better than any person could have and yet was a puddle of mess when they found out their spouse was a wayward. That showed me that I could never feel that level of pain unless it happened to me.

In saying all that, don't you think not replying to this person would be a better tactic? You know how many times I've felt the urge to punch someone on the internet who wishes cancer to someone else? Sometimes taking the high road makes you feel better at the end of the day, just depends on what kind of character you have. Being immature and cracking jokes because you were hurt is never right, and if this person is trolling, why feed it?

No matter how you come at me, some of the responses here were just wrong, I don't care how many times you were a BS.


----------



## Knobbers (Sep 25, 2013)

InlandTXMM said:


> Well that explains it.
> 
> One of those unintended consequences of infidelity is the callouses that can form - entirely out of necessity - on the BS's psyche.
> 
> ...



Thank you for this reply, it helps me understand much better. I still feel the way I do, but I can very much understand why someone would reply the way some have.

I still have a lot of learning to do, and will continue to keep an open mind.


----------



## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

Knobbers said:


> Being immature and cracking jokes because you were hurt is never right


Understood, and there is nothing here to joke about. It isn't funny.

But if someone comes here telling their tale of a good person being betrayed by them, denying they are in a PA, and even using "lol" in their post, then I'm going to call it like I see it.




> and if this person is trolling, why feed it?


To help weed them out perhaps?


----------

