# I confessed, now what?



## amigo1 (Dec 11, 2010)

Brief history: I decided to confess to my partner of 16 years of several infidelities that occured in the past(5yrs ago). He was also unfaithful once and there was some domestic violence issues which I feel is what partly caused the infidelity.
I want to know what to expect now. Is there hope for us? Did I do the right thing by confessing? What do I need to do now to help him?


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## Sandeep (Jan 31, 2011)

Sounds pretty messed up, why would you stick around if there's domestic violence? Sounds like infidelity is the least of your worries.


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## amigo1 (Dec 11, 2010)

Sandeep said:


> Sounds pretty messed up, why would you stick around if there's domestic violence? Sounds like infidelity is the least of your worries.


Because I love him and there were issues on both parts. He has not beat me but has done things like yell, shoved, and broke things. Usually this happened after a heated argument where I would say mean things to him so I was at fault as well. We have a child together.


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## Sandeep (Jan 31, 2011)

Well, as long as you realise it's all HIS fault that you cheated on him over and over.


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## amigo1 (Dec 11, 2010)

Sandeep said:


> Well, as long as you realise it's all HIS fault that you cheated on him over and over.


So you dont think Im at fault at all??


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## Sandeep (Jan 31, 2011)

amigo1 said:


> So you dont think Im at fault at all??


Not really, sounds like a pretty harsh situation. There's no room in ANY relationship for that sort of abuse. Like you said, he cheated as well, so there couldn't really be much of a relationship there. Sounds like you both need a clean slate, for the sake of your child, but really you both need counciling IMO.


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

Amigo1, yes you are at fault for your actions. Not saying his actions or lack thereof didn't contribute to your decision making, but it was still your decision. 

First off the bat, sit down and ask each other if you want to work it out. Do the Emotional Needs questionnaires that affaircare recommends and see what you guys are missing from one another. I would say since there is abuse that maybe seperating and getting some physical space would be a good idea until he can get into anger management classes. Talk about seeing a marriage counselor.


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