# Post Traumatic stress disorder



## Moutanman (Aug 29, 2009)

I have been through 2 wars with a unit that sees action everyday, so needless to say I have some demons in my head. I get counseling and medication but sometimes its just a bad day. Then my wife fights with me about my PTSD and tell me to get over it...... How can I help her understand?


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

Moutanman said:


> How can I help her understand?


im really sorry for what you are going through. you cant get your wife to understand what you've been through. but one thing you can do is when she says those things to you, let her see your pain. hopefully she will learn to see that she's hurting you.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

Thank you for serving our Country!!!!

I am glad that you are getting help. Your wife may be feeling a bit overwhelmed and is lashing out. Perhaps not knowing how to help you or stressed out. 

Perhaps your wife could use some counseling herself or some type of support. It's not easy being in a marriage when someone is having PTSD. 

Not sure on your details but keep coming here for support.


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## unhappy wife (Aug 30, 2009)

maybe its hard for her to undrstand what you saw in the wars, i hope i never have to see something like that, and your a very brave person.take your time and get whats in your had sorted first, mayb get in contact with people that you served with and get together and talk about it, its gonna be a long road but im very sure you will gt thru it.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

She may have no idea of what its like to go overseas and she may have no idea of other things going on in the world than what she knows... in short and for lack of another word... she may be very ignorant of what you have been through and seen in your life.

Maybe she needs to go to a VA hospital or any hospital so she can see things she may have no idea about.


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## poetprose (Sep 1, 2009)

Moutanman said:


> I have been through 2 wars with a unit that sees action everyday, so needless to say I have some demons in my head. I get counseling and medication but sometimes its just a bad day. Then my wife fights with me about my PTSD and tell me to get over it...... How can I help her understand?


Hello I am diagnosed with PTSD as well, mine triggered after the death of my second parent apx 15 years ago.. I lost my mom when i was 16 and my sister to suicide one year prior to my moms death she was 46 , and died of pancriatic cancer

I am 50 , have 3 adult kids and 2 even older step kids - 2 grandaughters!! there have been days that were so rough for me that I could not even connect with anyone ... a smile on my face was so forced .....but i did it

my illness sort of just blew up one day on everyone... my husband tried i guess in his own way to understand it , but in truth my experience is my experience no one can own your experience and make it theirs and vise versa..... 

when I have a bad day i get quiet my family may ask Bad day mom.. yeah then the next day i am better

that is how it goes But the good thing is with therapy i am having more better days now than bad.....

because i absolutely refuse old victom thinking to come in and take away what i can " make" for my future! PTS may have happened do to my passed childhood and some alchol abuse in present marriage too but PTSD can NOT have my futrue ))

good luck friend! I hear you i understand


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## Dan-O (Jul 22, 2008)

Two wars here as well. I went through some stuff. Many people think you are lucky to come out alive but, when you're the survivor...sometimes, you don't feel so damn lucky having to carry those vivid memories around.

When I came back to the states, I was at my uncles house picking up a refrigerator to take to my Mom's house. Some neighborhood kids lit a string of firecrackers outside and I hit the ground looking, then started trying to get a feel for the direction of fire. It was only a little pre-4th of July celebrating. My uncle, aunt and wife stood their half-laughing at me as the sweat poured off my face until they realized I was shook up a good bit. Everything came rushing back like a bad dream in the middle of the day.

I feel your pain. It is hard to talk about it. And, even when you do, it doesn't magically or instantly fade away. Rest assured there are plenty of people to talk to who have experienced many of the same things you have. Don't be afraid.

/salute
Airborne


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## Patty (Sep 29, 2009)

I know I'm coming in late to the discussion, but I think I'm on the other side of this issue so I'll respond and hope it helps. My husband is dealing with long ago neglect in his childhood. I know, very different from experiencing two wars in some ways, and yet not... both of you have survived a battle in one way or another and are having very unsettling flashbacks. As others have said here in this thread, I understand his pain on some levels, and yet on others I feel completely lost and feel I can never really understand. However, I want to help him SO much, and yet there are definitely places he goes where I can't reach him. Things happen, sometimes even things I say and do, that trigger him into difficult memories of past abuse and neglect and I have no idea what I've done or how to react to help him feel better. Sometimes it is so subtle. We take it day by day, episode by episode. After much difficult conversation and many arguments, I think I finally begin have an idea how to recognize the signs of his defensiveness that mean he is in pain and begin to understand how to tease out what he is feeling and why, rather than feeling wounded by his reactions, his pushing me away (misguided attempts to push the pain away), and sometimes very displaced anger. It is a long road, and we are searching for the right therapist to help us, not quite having found one yet. But I am completely committed to him and to our relationship. It is so much harder when we are stressed and especially when I am drained or tired, so I have to be sure to take good care of myself. Trust is so important between us, he must know he is safe with me and vice versa. And we constantly fight the guilt battle too, with his past and with each other. So, have patience with your wife and family and yourself. Forgive them and forgive yourself. Give yourself time. Talk things out completely and as Dan-O said, know you aren't alone. In my experience, it is the only way to get out of the guilt cycle and to feel ok.


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## Blaze (Sep 16, 2009)

I've got demons that rear their ugly heads in my thoughts from time to time too - so...I hope you may gain comfort in knowing that you're not alone what so ever. 

No counselling here, nor drugs to deal with my pain. Although some may consider food a drug. Yeah, I abuse food - I overeat. That's my drug of choice. 

I just figure there must be some divine reason why I was the chosen one to discover my family members dead.. not once, but twice during my lifetime twenty six years apart. To this day, there are certain life circumstances that trigger bad physical and emotional reactions in me (like a panic attack or throwing up), so I try to avoid those situations at all costs. 

Your family/spouse will probably never completely understand, but they can (and should, really) be patient and compassionate towards you. Some family counseling might help, if possible and if they're open to that. 

I wish you luck - and thank you for your sacrifice (((hugs))).

Blaze


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