# What to do.



## lookingfor (May 14, 2011)

Well there is no short story to this. Married almost 10 years 3 kids of our own, 2 step children from her previous marriage, one died in car wreck at 4 we were married for 2 years when it happened. I stood by here side all these years believe me it has been hard.
SHe is on multiple meds which i dont mind. we both work full time me as a firefighter so i am gone fro 24 hours at a time, which is hard. 
She/we will go to her home town which is 6 hours away and visit at least once a year. 
Well i figured she did things and i accepted them from her depression and such. Our sex life is off/on. For example two nights in a row last week. None since, i try but she denies me. We try (or i) to talk about our sex life but dont really make anywhere. Well she left her facebook acct open a few weeks ago. I found her talking to a ex BF from High School and he tried to look her up years ago and could not find her intil he did on FB. THis conversation leads to that he wants to meet her alone for a couple hours just her and him and she doesnt exactlly say no. Well we dont really have a trip planned soon. 

I fell i should just monitor to see if she continues to talk to him, untill she left he gmail accoutn open the other day and i found a bunch on coversations with him, he initiates most of them. 
But she plays along. 
We are suppost to start MC but are schedules are making it hard to find time around work kids etc. 
SO i looked at our calender there is one time she went to visit home without me and know i wonder if she saw hime. Oh and she has no idea that i know this info. TO be honest with you this is killing me, she ticked me off the other day and i almost mentioned his name to get a response but i prety sure that would make things worse.
Thought about having a one on one with MC and getting advice. She has accused me of cheating, with no proof and i have not and she doesnt belive me. THat is the reason I want to go to MC, If she does see him and i find out it's over espically after seeing how they talk to one another online. 
This sucks and not sure what to do, any advice?:scratchhead:


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

lookingfor said:


> Well there is no short story to this. Married almost 10 years 3 kids of our own, 2 step children from her previous marriage, one died in car wreck at 4 we were married for 2 years when it happened. I stood by here side all these years believe me it has been hard.
> SHe is on multiple meds which i dont mind. we both work full time me as a firefighter so i am gone fro 24 hours at a time, which is hard.
> She/we will go to her home town which is 6 hours away and visit at least once a year.
> Well i figured she did things and i accepted them from her depression and such. Our sex life is off/on. For example two nights in a row last week. None since, i try but she denies me. We try (or i) to talk about our sex life but dont really make anywhere. Well she left her facebook acct open a few weeks ago. I found her talking to a ex BF from High School and he tried to look her up years ago and could not find her intil he did on FB. THis conversation leads to that he wants to meet her alone for a couple hours just her and him and she doesnt exactlly say no. Well we dont really have a trip planned soon.
> ...


Next time she goes to her home town, go with her. No excuses. MAKE IT HAPPEN. Make sure she schedules this when it is convenient for the two of you. She needs to be no contact immediately. So I fall on the side of exposing the facebook part. Don't let on about the other. Tell her she must break contact in every way. Then monitor.

These things are like a nuclear melt down. Waiting never helps.

Related link:

http://www.marriedmansexlife.com/2010/06/what-to-do-when-theres-another-man-in.html


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