# Pleaseee help.... desperate..



## capacity83 (Feb 13, 2011)

Hi guys,

im going down a very painful path.. my wife is basically telling me its over (been a month now) but we are still living together for now, waiting for my mums house to finish in 2 months so i can move out. She says nothing can change her mind no matter what i do.. having sex, treating her good etc.. ive beg her again and again to reconsider due to our 4 yr old son but she said she has already thought about it. She said over the 6 yrs we've been together she has gradually lost her love for me little by little over the things ive done. I havent done a lot, im not abusive but i have gotten angry at her before and shouted at her. I love her deeply.. all my friends are asking me to move on..but im really lost... she's 22 and im 27.. been together when she was 16, me 21. I have honestly tried everything except for moving out.. because i feel she is such a stubborn woman who thinks she is always right every time... i really dont know what to do.. i just do not want her to make a mistake she could not come back from.. because it would be by that time too late for me. Shes young, very pretty and has a lot of youth left in her. She technically blames me for changiing the way she has become... a selfish, materialistic *****.. she says because i have over time purchase many materialistic things for her.. but the point was it was never about the money or the bags.. it was the thought of it.. and the fact that she wanted it too... :/.. help... help... help... i have 2 months till she boots me out..


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## SadAngel (Mar 7, 2011)

Hi, I'm sorry that you're going through this, it is so painful!
Have you asked her if she will go to Marriage Couselling?
Maybe you could try that if she wants to?
I'm not very good with advice.. I wish I knew what to do to fix my relationship but unfortunately things will never work if only one person wants to fix it


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

cap,
First mistake...beg, stop that no more. Begging and crying are not attractive and you are just pushing her away. So I suggest you start showing some confidence in that you can move on with out her.
Granted you love her but you are showing her a weak man when she is really looking for a strong man , so even though it is hard as hell go give her the 180 and stop begging and show her strength. Strengeth in that you will succeed with or with out her and if she thinks the grass is greener then pretend to send her on her way.

See people want what they can't have so show her that she can now have what she wants. Distance your self, close the bank account and take your kid and go spend a sh*t load of time with her. I mean go out of your way to take your daughter to the park and other places.

This will show your wife that even with out her you will be a better dad. If you start to distance your self and focus on making your self a better man and a better father.. she will then see that you are serious about moving on with out her and she will start to second quess her dicisions.

I hope you understand that your currently behavior is not working. It been a month, so change it around and show some balls and as you live together for the next 2 month you are preparing for her not to be around and as hard as it is you have to make her believe that you will move on. But in the same breath you will be there for your kid.

Once she gets a taste of you not being around begging for attension it will drive her nuts. So stop worring about what she is doing. You can't control her but you can control how you behave.

By the way I suggest you investigate way she wants to leave the stability and security of a husband. Quitly snoop and see if there is someone else influencing her. Don't bother asking she will lie. I'm pretty sure once you leave there will be another man right behind you. So with out her knowing see if she is being influenced by either a toxic friend or another man. It is possible so it is worth the effert in ruling out the possiblity.

It is rare for a wife to show her exit plan with out someone on stand by. I'm sure there are other red flags... out all night, alot of texting, alot of computer time, coming home late, and alot of girls night outs?


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