# The Man Up, but than for women?



## sofie (Mar 20, 2011)

Do we have something like that for women on this forum?

I am so tired, so tired and sad from trying.
I would like some results, the things I tried so far always backfire on me.
.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Hi sofie ~

I started a thread on this topic awhile ago. Here are the responses I received when I asked the same question:

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/ladies-lounge/25889-what-does-mean-woman-up.html

Is there anything specific that you can share about your situation?


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## sofie (Mar 20, 2011)

Enchantment said:


> Hi sofie ~
> 
> I started a thread on this topic awhile ago. Here are the responses I received when I asked the same question:
> 
> ...


Thank you for the link.
Specific: One of the many thing is when we have a fight; I am always fault, if not than he is as he says just a bad husband.
He gives silent treatments, pouts, yells at me. If I don't bend over backwards it goes to worse. 
He never makes up. Doesn't matter who's fault it was.
Is there anything I can do?
Sometimes I feel not quilty at all and would love to yell at him and tell him he behaves like a ... But that is beyond the danger zone.
He says I don't respect him, but that is how I feel.
I tried ignoring his spells; than he gets mad that I ignore him and therefore must be mad at him.
It's one bad circle.
.


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## BigToe (Jun 2, 2011)

He needs to "mature up".


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## momof2bellas (Jun 27, 2011)

BigToe said:


> He needs to "mature up".


I agree!


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

sofie said:


> He never makes up. Doesn't matter who's fault it was.
> Is there anything I can do?


How can anyone comment on the dynamics of your fighting in private?


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

You are dealing with a 2 year old in a grown man's body. Rational techniques aren't likely to work. What you need is to learn how to cope with tantrums. 

If you let him "go to worse" what would he do?


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## Mephisto (Feb 20, 2011)

Women have this sliding scale of hormones which dictate what the appropriate response will be to appease them at any given moment... men get tired of chasing after that so default to a single response on all occasions.

Why does that make us immature? Why does it label us as jerks? It may well be the right response on one or two days of the cycle, but it is still the ladies who will call us insensitive a$$e$ becasue we don't bother trying to chase our tails to suit their ever changing mood.


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## sofie (Mar 20, 2011)

Mephisto said:


> Women have this sliding scale of hormones which dictate what the appropriate response will be to appease them at any given moment... men get tired of chasing after that so default to a single response on all occasions.
> 
> Why does that make us immature? Why does it label us as jerks? It may well be the right response on one or two days of the cycle, but it is still the ladies who will call us insensitive a$$e$ becasue we don't bother trying to chase our tails to suit their ever changing mood.


 My hormones are quite stable thank you, and my mood is too!
I just want to know how to end tantrums and that a man takes the blame for something when he does something wrong!!
You call that mature, to have tantrums... or manly????
.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

sofie said:


> My hormones are quite stable thank you, and my mood is too!
> I just want to know how to end tantrums and that a man takes the blame for something when he does something wrong!!
> You call that mature, to have tantrums... or manly????
> .


I've said frequently that one downside to this forum is the failure to take into consideration emotionally scarred or broken people. I've got a friend married to man like your husband. Despite my best advice he still acts like a 2 year old when things don't go his way and unfortunately rarely do things go his way. He's been reprimanded at work, he's a couch potato and he drinks heavily. He yells at his kids, her, and is overall just one miserable guy. He's likely depressed, won't take his meds and thinks counseling is a waste of time. She's tried everything including having lots of sex with him.

It's been a year and time's up. She's meeting with her attorney next week. She's done.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

magnoliagal said:


> I've said frequently that one downside to this forum is the failure to take into consideration emotionally scarred or broken people.


Yes, I can agree with this. But, we rarely get to see a clear view of both sides of the equation on the forum to be able to tell how "broken" a person really is. We never get to hear that person "speak".

I think that generally a person needs to take into consideration the willingness of their spouse to work with them and the willingness of their spouse to priorioritize their needs.

If there's no willingness, it's very difficult to do much more than try and improve your own frame of mind so that you have a better reference with which to make a decision as to whether to stay or go.


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