# I went to do my volunteer work today



## preso (May 1, 2009)

this morning at the beauty shop at the local nursing home and the smell of the perms almost knocked me out.
I couldn't breathe.
It gave me a headache and made me sick.... so that idea isn't going to work.
I don't know what to do with myself to occupy my time waiting for husband to retire. Everything I do and try seems to mess up and end up badly. I was going to help in the beauty shop putting people under dyrers and helping take out rollers ( easy mindless stuff, as those old folks really do appriciate it )
I can't work in a room of toxic chemicals...
Didn't realize how bad that smell was........ PEEEEE U
It was so bad I could feel my nasal cavity rotting as I inhaled.
so no more beauty shop I guess.

not a good day here.
NO wonder people have affairs and develop recreational drug and alcohol problems, thats the EASY WAY to solve problems...
I'd like to avoid that but it is in my mind how easy that would be to deal with problems.


----------



## martino (May 12, 2008)

I've noticed that too at my granny's nursing home. I realized sometimes with volunteering comes inconvienance.


----------



## jaclynnbaker (Jan 30, 2009)

Preso, 
I am posting this message in the kindest way I know how. I want you to take in what I say and think about it, but please do not think I wish you harm or am trying to wrongfully judge you as I only want to help you. 
I truely think you need to seek therapy for the talks and be as open and honest about your feelings (not just about your DH) as you can. Anxiety meds may prove some relief as well. I also find in your posting that you are coming off as a very negative person. I understand that life is throwing you lemons, but you just gota make lemonade or duck. 
Alot of the things that you mention in the threads are really NOT that serious. It is almost like you are asking for bad things to come your way. When you went to do your volunteer work today, what kind of attitude did you have when you went in? When you went to your meeting, what kind of attitude. If that same attitude is radiated at home, could that be a reason for your DH wanting to work all of the time?? How does he feel about you? If you are as negative as you come accross on here (making big of bacon and eggs-sorry I am from the south and we eat that everyday) and seeming to over react over such things...not only do the 2 of you seem VERY incompatable, but I question how he feels about you.
I really do care for you and hope that I have been kind enough in my words...I just want you to know what I see. I would want to know if it were me. I am just here to help.


----------



## preso (May 1, 2009)

jaclynnbaker said:


> Preso,
> I am posting this message in the kindest way I know how. I want you to take in what I say and think about it, but please do not think I wish you harm or am trying to wrongfully judge you as I only want to help you.
> I truely think you need to seek therapy for the talks and be as open and honest about your feelings (not just about your DH) as you can. Anxiety meds may prove some relief as well. I also find in your posting that you are coming off as a very negative person. I understand that life is throwing you lemons, but you just gota make lemonade or duck.
> Alot of the things that you mention in the threads are really NOT that serious. It is almost like you are asking for bad things to come your way. When you went to do your volunteer work today, what kind of attitude did you have when you went in? When you went to your meeting, what kind of attitude. If that same attitude is radiated at home, could that be a reason for your DH wanting to work all of the time?? How does he feel about you? If you are as negative as you come accross on here (making big of bacon and eggs-sorry I am from the south and we eat that everyday) and seeming to over react over such things...not only do the 2 of you seem VERY incompatable, but I question how he feels about you.
> I really do care for you and hope that I have been kind enough in my words...I just want you to know what I see. I would want to know if it were me. I am just here to help.


That you do not see my issues as "significant" does not make it true, they are only insignificant in YOUR EYES, not mine...

My DH works all the time because he is padding his pension... not to escape me, trust me he does not like working 24/7. The way his pension works is his lifetime pension will be based on his 5 highest years earnings, and why he is doing this. He told me it will mean he will not have to get another job post retirement as the pension will add up to live very comfortable, AND it is transferable to me in the event of his death.. so he is doing it for us he says but its proving to be hard to deal with.

all the rest of what you wrote is not my situation and your maybe projecting your issues as they are not mine.

About my volunteer in the beauty shop... my attitude? 
it was of a severe allergic reaction... sneezing, then coughing, headache then hives and I threw up a little too.
It was a physical, not emotional reaction I had.

anyway............. going to keep trying new things but first I need to get well, my thoat still hurts from that toxic chemical exposure.


----------



## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

preso said:


> this morning at the beauty shop at the local nursing home and the smell of the perms almost knocked me out.


Ya, i cant even walk past those salons in the mall without getting a headache. i dont know how people can work in those places. 

I volunteered a couple of times with kids. once at the YMCA as a softball coach, which was a blast, and another time with a program called Junior Achievement. Both were pretty fun. I also volunteered with Big Brothers/sisters, but i didnt like it.


----------



## Blonddeee (Dec 17, 2008)

I'd have to agree with jaclynnbaker, you seem like you are in a very negative frame of mind all the time. Try looking for the good things that come out of a situation. Maybe you should try talking to someone and maybe an anti-depressent would help, but you have to stop feeling sorry for yourself... you are responsible for your happiness. You can't change some things, but you can change how you react to them. Like- I broke my ankle 8 months ago... now I have a plate and 9 screws holding my leg together, but I have never been so grateful to be able to walk... never had that taken away from me before. So try writing a list of things you are grateful for and maybe share them with your husband- make him feel special and maybe he'll return the favor. That's just awful that you are waiting to be a widow and are staying with him for the finacial security- you need to make the effort to be happy and if he sees you in a positive mood... it will eventually wear off on him and hopefully you two can get the love and passion back that a marriage is supposed to have.


----------



## JDPreacher (Feb 27, 2009)

I remember as a kid I went to a wrestling match with my dad and I had a candy bar on the way...we sat behind a woman who must have just gotten a perm that afternoon and the smell from that thing was God awful...

I sat there for two hours smelling this mess...until I finally barfed...in her hair...

Needless to say I felt better instantly...not sure if it was because I barfed or because she left in a hurry...but to this day I can't eat that kind of candy bar.

Blessed Be,
Preacher


----------



## preso (May 1, 2009)

Blonddeee said:


> I'd have to agree with jaclynnbaker, you seem like you are in a very negative frame of mind all the time. Try looking for the good things that come out of a situation. Maybe you should try talking to someone and maybe an anti-depressent would help, but you have to stop feeling sorry for yourself... you are responsible for your happiness. You can't change some things, but you can change how you react to them. Like- I broke my ankle 8 months ago... now I have a plate and 9 screws holding my leg together, but I have never been so grateful to be able to walk... never had that taken away from me before. So try writing a list of things you are grateful for and maybe share them with your husband- make him feel special and maybe he'll return the favor. That's just awful that you are waiting to be a widow and are staying with him for the finacial security- you need to make the effort to be happy and if he sees you in a positive mood... it will eventually wear off on him and hopefully you two can get the love and passion back that a marriage is supposed to have.


I can't share anything with him because he is absent... and I already mentioned I wanted to get on some prozac like meds to numb me to tolerate this lifestyle a few more years.
It would be better than developing drinking or sex addictions 
( start having affairs) which so many people do as its the easy way to deal with problems to act irresponsibily.... and use others for my entertainment....

and I am not staying with him for financial security, I have my own money including investments. Just waiting for him to accomoplish his goals.
see me in a positve mood? lol
like I see him other than him passing to go to bed or to work?
lmao... how funny I'm being told how to be to someone who is never there.
lmao !


----------



## preso (May 1, 2009)

JDPreacher said:


> I remember as a kid I went to a wrestling match with my dad and I had a candy bar on the way...we sat behind a woman who must have just gotten a perm that afternoon and the smell from that thing was God awful...
> 
> I sat there for two hours smelling this mess...until I finally barfed...in her hair...
> 
> ...


yeah perms smell. I guess thats what that stink in haircutting places are. smells like sulfur. being I never had a perm I've never been up close to that smell....
how can anyone work in an enclosed room in that smell? 
peeeee u !!!
rotten eggs smell nicer.

after you puked, did your father say.. watch your attitude young man? haha because that is what some people seem to be saying to me ( so ridiculous too)


----------



## JDPreacher (Feb 27, 2009)

No actually he laughed so hard his teeth fell out...lol


Blessed Be,
Preacher


----------



## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

well Preso, maybe you can volunteer somewhere else, such as a Vetrans home/hospital, Girl scouts, a local church, the local YMCA, there are many organizations that need help out there.


My mother volunteered at a local hospital, she worked at a place called the "old and new shop" people would bring donated stuff in and they would sell it to raise funds for the hospital.


Maybe you can volunteer at a local school or a nursery/day care? not be a teacher, but an assistant, special needs children, etc.

Plenty of organizations out there that need help.


----------



## picabu (Mar 11, 2009)

Preso,

You seem very passionate about healthy food choices & cooking healthy. Maybe someone needs a volunteer to help with nutrition classes????


----------



## preso (May 1, 2009)

yes there are many volunteering options, thanks for those who gave some ideas.
I have to stay away from certain teaching work due to my licensing and possible liability, so looking for something without any real 
responsibilites involved.
I'll have to think about it and keep searching until something presents itself.


----------

