# Husband has contacted an ex girlfriend, is this normal?



## spark (Jul 29, 2009)

Hi,
I'm new here. Don't really have much experience of this sort of thing.

My husband contacted an ex about 6 months ago via Facebook. I could kick myself as I was the one who encouraged him to join.

There have been a few emails back and forth over the last few months but nothing I thought that was too concerning and as we are actually expats in a different country at the moment there can be no physical contact. My dilemma is that he is having to go back for a funeral and mentioned that he may pop in and see her family. 

I thought this was strange as he doesn't keep in touch her family. I was very naughty and looked at his email account and found out that he contacted her pretty much as soon as the flights were booked and they have exchanged phone numbers. I was also shocked to find that in the other emails that he called her sweet and babe, and she used these terms too. He doesn't use the terms with me, either face to face or by email. The emails are fairly innocent apart from that but she does talk about her recent divorce and he talks about the good memories he has of her and her family.

I have told him that I am not happy about him contacting her and seeing her and that I think it is inappropriate and he has said that he will not see her when he returns.

For some reason I didn’t believe him and against my better judgement went to check the email account again, only to find the password has been changed. I know that it is wrong of me to read his emails.

Now I am panicking that something more sinister is going on. Am I overreacting??  I don’t want to confront him again before he goes but I know I’m going to be worrying the whole time he is away now.

ETA: I only knew the email password as I set it up for him years ago and have never been into it since. I have not told him I have seen the emails between them but he has obviously worked out that I knew it and has seen them now.


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## scarletblue (May 20, 2009)

I think he probably does plan on meeting with her. That doesn't mean that it's going to go anywhere beyond just that meeting. But he obviously doesn't want you to know because you'll be mad about it. The sweetie and babe stuff would bug me.

My advice? I would have a talk with him. Tell him you feel. Tell him that you know he told you he wouldn't see her, but you figure he's tempted to. Ask him how he'd feel if you went to meet up with and old boyfriend.


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## JDPreacher (Feb 27, 2009)

Sure it's normal...if you're looking to get together, have some wine, talk about old times and how good you look...how much fun sex was back then...oh hey, how about once more for old times sake.

Oh wait, I'm probably not helping huh?

It's not a good idea to say the least. If you have good communication with your husband then talk to him about it and how you feel. Ultimately it's a matter of trust in the end...

Preacher


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

tough one here, because I am good friends with all my ex's.

matter of fact I have open communication with one on face book.

She is still single, She just got a new job, all I did was ask about her move, she had to move to a new state and how her new job was. The job she got was the perfect job for her.

Then I told my wife about ex's move and "perfect job" when she heard the job and location...she said, Yep, that is the perfect job for her...lol

On a side note, this same ex girlfriend asked me a week before I got married if I would sleep with her one more time, (since we had broken up 7 years prior.)...I told her no thanks, been there done that. I had no interest with being with anyone but my wife, that still stands until today.


So the question lies? do you trust him? If not, why not?

Not all men are going to sleep around. If my ex offered me today I would say no thanks, i'll be friends because we shared some good times, but I love my wife.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

What kind of marriage do you have?

Has there been any affairs or disloyalty in the marriage?

Talk to him about it and state your fears.

Obviously, you can't stop him. 

Not all will sleep around. However, how he consoles you will be an indicator of what he's thinking. Also, how your relationship stands is important to have vulnerable he may be to others advances.


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## 1nurse (Jan 21, 2009)

EXACTLY WHY I LOATHE FACEBOOK!!!:soapbox::soapbox:


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## nightshade (Mar 4, 2009)

Some people call everyone babe, so she might and he's just followed suit. Have you looked and seen her comments to other people? 

It really does come down to if you trust him and if you can talk to him about it.


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## Heidiw (Jul 2, 2009)

I pretty much agree with everyone. You just need to talk to him about it. Address your feelings about him possibly seeing her & how ur worried that he may still do it even though he said that he wouldn't. I don't hate facebook I just hate the game perfect world. That is what help to my marriage.

If you have never had any issues in the past with him then I can't tell you not to trust him. I also can't say he's giving you any reason to trust him especially since he changed his email password. That is what tipped me off big time! If you have nothing going on then why change the password?


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