# i was given money



## lonelybeeber (May 4, 2012)

From a long time friend who is also a guy i dated for a bit before my husband. I feel horrible, but i needed help. My husband has lost his main job he had over him being irresponsible and doing what others do around him without thinking about consequences. It had our insurance, and was the main income. On top of that he had a part time second job which is not full time. But income is cut in half. I am on unemployment and apply at job daily (liiterally). My husband has been given chances for a better job with good pay and benefits...but he never seems to get off his but to go and get it. So now we are at our wits end financially. And we have 4to kids to provide for. And when we have doesnt leave anything for the kids necessities. My oldest is wearing shoes too small and another she had her toe was sticking out. I cant get anything or enough of what they need. Well my friend found out because his brother lives a few houses over and can see and hear us from there. He heard me telling my daughter i will get he shoes when i can. So he asked me whats going on. I told him abit, and next thing i know i have 200 dollars on my car with a note. My husband doesnt know. But this isnt the first time this has happened since i have been married. Another time he gave me money because my daughter called him and told him that i was crying because i couldnt pay for my car, so he paid it for me. I feel guilty, blesses, and embarrassed all in one.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

Wow, ouch.
I can see two sides to the coin.

You've got to survive. You've got to get shoes for your kids. Even if it going to the thrift store &/or garage sales & getting them used shoes , but ones that fit.

It's hard to judge that. I know some would say that it is opening up a can of worms accepting from an ex. It could lead to EA, etc if you keep it from hubby. ...But, I also know the situation is very difficult.

I think you would do okay if you make that $200 stretch as far as you can. Take daughter & other kids to the local outreach center & see if they have shoes in correct sizes. clothes. Go to the second had stores... Try to think of clothes they are going to need next school year & get some used ones & put them away.

I will pray for you. I think you are having trouble accepting because of "who" the source of the help is.

Ask yourself-- If it was your mother.. Or his mother that gave you some helping $, but they didn't want you to tell him, because they know you would spend it correctly & hubby might want to spend it on extra food, gas money, etc. Would you accept the help then?

Then ask, do you care for this person as a friend only? Are they doing it out of concern & care? Or because they have hopes of "getting back together" someday? If it is the latter, I'd be leery. If it is the first situation.. well, my sister has been in that boat. Financially hurting to get things for her kids, & her ex boyfriend will sometimes give her money for them (not the kids father). Because he was very close with her kids & wants the best for them. NOT because he want's to get back with R.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Do you live in the USA? I'm assuming you do so i'll answer as though you do. What state do you live in?

Have you done things like gotten on foodstamps? there is free medical in most states for children, it's usually some form of medicaid.

I know in my state, New Mexico, there is even extremely low cost medical care available to every low income adult.

There's money to help pay utilities, etc.

There are also food and clothing banks. 

Find out about these at your welfare office and local churches.

Now about the money give to you from an ex boyfriend. Your husband is being completely irresponsible. He's putting you and your children in a terrible position. Even though he is still living with you he has basically abandoned you all. 

If you trust that your ex will not try to pressure you do to things that you do not want to do.. .take the money. Perhaps you should tell your husband that he felt you had to. Him hearing this might wake him up.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Thank him properly now so that in future you don't feel guilted or pressured into thanking him some other way. Then let it go and do as others have suggested and apply for any aid that's available.


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