# Help! I think my girlfriend is hiding things from me.



## JasonKaven (Oct 24, 2014)

Hello, friends! Maybe it is not a wise decision to share my story here, but I do need your help, especially those people who have the same experience with me! I'm feeling really upset because of my girlfriend. I have been dating a girl for the past 3 years and our parents have accepted our relationship. However, several months ago, we broke up due to a silly reason. Now we haven't been in touch for 3 months. Two weeks ago she came back to me and I was really happy untill I realised that there's another guy she frequently talks to on Whatsapp. I never mind if she has other male friends. However, things are totally different from that. Now she has started lying to me. She goes out with that guy but tells me that she is going out with her female friends. She says good night to me at 11:30 at night but continues to be on WhatsApp till 3 am. Maybe I am too paranoid, but her unreasonable behaviors have put me on the rack. I love her, guys. Is she really hiding something from me?


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Marry her now. Have kids immediately. Everything is fine.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

I am going to paraphrase Dr. Love from 'Askmen'

"She only gets one bite at the apple. If you break up than that is it."

Now, if you think it was a silly reason you broke up, it might have been an 'exit' strategy of hers. "Oh my god! I can't believe you said X about my sister. You aren't the man I thought you were. Good Bye!"

Then you, like s schmo, decide to go find her again, wanting to show her exactly how silly the reason was. The reason is an excuse. She doesn't want to be with you, certainly not like Mr. 3 a.m.

NOW...before you start jumping to conclusions, my wife frequently stays signed in on IM or some such long after she falls asleep. So be mindful of that.

Additionally, if you are one of those guys who constantly digs at and interrogates, you are darned skippy she is going to hide things from you just so she can have a sense of privacy.

My best advice? If you are sure she is stepping out, and I mean SURE, dump her for cause and walk away. 

I don't care if she's the first girl you slept with. I don't care if you'd accept her dating other guys. In the long run, she has made her interest clear: it isn't with you. I am not sure what she is doing back but whatever her reasoning, you being 'all that and a bag of chips' probably isn't even in the top five reasons.

It is a hard thing to hear that you are replaceable.

However...so is she.


----------



## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Let's see if I've got this straight...

You broke up 3 months ago. You only got back together 2 weeks ago, and now you find out she's seeing someone else.

Since you were no longer "exclusive" (you were broken up), you can hardly be surprised that she might have started dating other people.

It s*cks if she's not being honest about it, but between the lying, and the texting until 3am, I think it is safe to say that she's trying to hide her feelings for this guy.

So, I think you are being used. Sorry.


----------



## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

broke up for 3 months? what wzs the reason? How was the sex just before the breakup?

I would say she is struggling about being with/without you. Do NOT do anything sudden. Date her some more.

Is she living with you? maybe not a great idea. it is better to date someone that has there own place. gives them some space to work things out.


----------



## MachoMcCoy (Oct 20, 2014)

JasonKaven said:


> She goes out with that guy but tells me that she is going out with her female friends.


I was just talking to a buddy of mine about this forum last night. Specifically those guys that paint a scenario like this then ask "what do you think, is she cheating?"

Dude. This isn't even a question. There's no gray area here. No opinions to be given. Lying to you about going out on a date is cheating. Period. Then skyping with him until 3AM? IN BED NEXT TO YOU?!?!?!? 

Don't even confront her. "Bye. We tried again but it didn't work. Sorry.

Then leave.


----------



## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

She's not hiding much from you.

You are hiding alot from yourself though.


----------



## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

JasonKaven said:


> Hello, friends! Maybe it is not a wise decision to share my story here, but I do need your help, especially those people who have the same experience with me! I'm feeling really upset because of my girlfriend. I have been dating a girl for the past 3 years and our parents have accepted our relationship.


You are an adult, why are you looking for "acceptance" from parents....what does that even matter. They can advice etc, but there is absolutely no need for them to accept.

If they don't like it, ohh well.



JasonKaven said:


> However, several months ago, we broke up due to a silly reason. Now we haven't been in touch for 3 months. Two weeks ago she came back to me and I was really happy untill I realised that there's another guy she frequently talks to on Whatsapp. I never mind if she has other male friends.


2 red flags

When she came back, why did you bother? You guys broke up, it's DONE. 

2nd red flag is the fact that you think it's ok for her to have opposite sex friends, knowing VERY well that most guys won't befriend a girl they don't find attractive.

Also you can't say "I don't mind that she has a male friend" but "I do mind".

that's an oxymoron.




JasonKaven said:


> However, things are totally different from that. Now she has started lying to me. She goes out with that guy but tells me that she is going out with her female friends. She says good night to me at 11:30 at night but continues to be on WhatsApp till 3 am. Maybe I am too paranoid, but her unreasonable behaviors have put me on the rack. I love her, guys. Is she really hiding something from me?


You are thinking with your heart.

THink with your brain. You are dealing with a shady person that is involved with other males.

Recognize and ACCEPT her for who she is.........which is.....a person you DO NOT want to be with.

Break off all contact, take time to heal (block her etc)....remember, ANY contact with her = reset of your healing....and in time, when you are ready, start dating other girls.

Time is your friend. I know it will hurt A LOT at first, but in time, you will feel better and will find a better person you deserve.

If you continue on with this girl, you choose your own destiny and accept that what she is doing is ok......so be prepared to be hurt LOT more than you will be hurting when you break up with her.

It's YOUR choice.

And yes, she WILL come crawling back to you each and EVERY time some guy gets their cookie/uses her and dumps her. DO NOT be the "fall" guy of hers. Cause right now, that's EXACTLY what you are.

DO NOT be intimate with her without protection if you do stay with her. Or your LIFE and HEALTH will be on the line.

Good luck


----------



## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Do you live together?


----------



## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

You're not married. Are you engaged?

rEad MMSLP.

Are you in good shape?

Put a VAR under her bed, car and bicycle seat.


----------



## commonsenseisn't (Aug 13, 2014)

Judging from what you wrote ...

if I were a predator I would perceive you as easy prey.


----------



## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

He also isn't back. Either he got the validation for his worries that he needed to man up...

or he slunk away because people would NOT help him calm his fears...which are fully justified.

Alas, I fear it is the second.


----------



## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Jason,

You ave some key words in your post that should guide you what to do next...

"other. Guy. Goes. Out. With. Whatsapp. Hiding. Things."

Oh yeah. Forgot these most important three...
"two. Weeks. Girlfriend"

Dump her. Your just waiting around for a lifetime of confusion and pain with this one.


----------



## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

I also don't get the situation...

She came back? As if to live with you? So....at your place?

And she's texting other men already? Only two weeks?

What part of "using you for free rent while she runs around with other guys" isn't clear in this life of yours?


----------

