# I am thinking of leaving my husband after 12 years of marriage



## Brandywine (May 21, 2009)

I have been married for 12 years and since 2008 my husband got into drugs. The family did an intervention in july 2008 and he has been sober. However, there are issues that are going on financially and with his sobriety. It has deeply affected our marriage. We don't have sex. He is angry alot and I feel very alone. I want to leave him because I don't trust him and I don't feel good about us any more. He is staying sober. The anger and the put downs are hurting me. He takes everything out on me. I am soo tired. I am very tired. I have no where to turn.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

I can understand how you feel. Back when I was a young woman I was involved with a guy like that and luckily I wasn't married to him and did not marry him or I would have deeply regreted it.
He ruined everything I worked so hard for. Eventually I moved out and got my own place and only saw him once in the last 30 years. He was a long haired, bad tempered loser, just as I suspected and I am only grateful I got away from him when young so he couldn't destroy my life.

Here is something to think about and what I did...
if your looking for a helping hand, start at the end of your own arms.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

There is a group for friends and families of alcoholics called alanon. they have free meetings with people who are going through exactly what you are. Welcome to Al-Anon and Alateen


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## outinthecold (Apr 30, 2009)

You seem desperate. Are you?

Drugs, my problem seems so minor compared to drugs. The toll drugs take on a family and the financial burden.

Please keep posting and talking, it really does help. Take care of yourself as others have told me to do.

Get plenty of rest, eat good healthy foods.

Remember, it is not your fault, repeat this to yourself, it is not your fault.

Not having sex, you could do without it right now. Get your head strait.

I know you are a strong woman, make the decision for yourself, you cannot make him choose the right path. 

Either stay and fight or flight

Make a decision for your own sake.

You have great self-worth. Remember that, no matter what he says. No one can make you feel less of anything unless you let them.

Look at yourself in the mirror and say, "I'm a strong woman, I decide my future and my fate".

Do it now.

Keep posting, it really does help.

We are all going thru something and each one of us here can help you just a little bit.


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## perpetua (Apr 12, 2009)

What is keeping you from leaving? If it is guilt or fear, then face up to it and move on--at least move out and insist on joint counseling. If you don't want to do the joint counseling, then don't--go by yourself. You need the TLC of taking care of yourself, it sounds like. Be your own best friend and do what you what do for a friend in need. If you cannot trust him and you don't feel safe in the marriage, then it's not a real marriage, anyway. If there are kids, this is hurting them--the way he treats you--whether you know it or not. Another reason to separate. Some space will help you decide what to do and may motivate him to get the help he still needs. Stay in touch, and good luck.


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