# caught looking at cleavage, what to do now ?



## BeaverBeauty

Last week an attractive and friendly work colleague was at my desk discussing work when she caught me looking at her cleavage. She did not react but has been cool and keeping her distance.
What should I do? Apologise or pretend that nothing happened?:scratchhead:


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## sparkyjim

Don't apologize, and don't pretend.

What's the problem? It's not like you spied on her in the bathroom. She had the girls out for you to see didn't she?

Why do you feel "guilty" about this? That is the big question.

If you want to do something then work on not staring when there is something to see. Work on the three second rule. 

But if this kind of thing happens it happens.

You should definitely not apologize.


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## BrockLanders

If she was advertising the goods she shouldn't be surprised that someone checked them out.


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## Shaggy

Yeah, it bugs me when women at work or in public choose to showcase the girls and then act like folks should be ashamed for looking. 

if you choose a top that has them wide open for display, then folks are gonna look there. If you had a hat on that drew attention to your head, people are gonna look at the hat.

I guess I'm saying, I don't at all like the hypocrisy going on. If you choose to wear a wide open top then don't be surprised when people see stuff. You don't want to show it, then close up a button or two or put on a camisole underneath.

But if you choose to show off, don't fault people for looking.


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## sparkyjim

I have been having a problem with this. I am taking a dance class - swing dance - it's fun.

But you change partners all evening and two of the gals have the girls on display every dance class. My problem is that keeping eye contact the whole time is impossible, and those puppies are right there, and every time I look elsewhere there they are.

I'm really not looking. I mean I see them, but I'm not trying to. I'm too busy trying to sort out my feet and the next move, etc.

But I feel like they think I am looking, especially this one gal, who is actually a little taller than I am. 

Reminds me of the two reasons why Dudley Moore married Susan Anton. 
Anyways, there is really nothing that I can do about it.


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## unbelievable

What would you apologize for? Being male or not being blind? Drive on and try to be more stealthy in the future.


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## Viseral

Yeah man, don't let anyone shame your male sexuality. If that girl is going to intentionally put the puppies on display then she should expect the consequences of men taking a peek.

It's like she's peo'd when guys take a glance, but if they didn't glance then she'd be upset too. Can't win. 

Be proud of your manhood and move on.


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## Cosmos

If your co-worker was exposing her cleavage in the work place, the only person who was inappropriate was her for not wearing work appropriate clothing. Personally, having the second button on my blouse open is my limit in a professional environment.

You did nothing wrong in noticing your co-worker's cleavage and, IMO, you have nothing to apologize for.


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## unbelievable

Whether she deliberately displayed them or is just naturally gifted, she's a woman. You're a guy. You're supposed to be sexually attracted to women. The survival of our species rather depends on it. Not sure when some moron arrived at the conclusion that men and women were supposed to pretend they were asexual androids and that behaving as a normally functioning being of God's creation was somehow wrong. You didn't jump her bones or make inappropriate comments. You merely noticed. A tiger that notices a steak isn't wrong. He's just being a tiger. He'd be acting contrary to his design if he didn't notice meat. If you start staring at little boys, little girls, or farm animals, we'll have a problem.


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## FormerSelf

Yeah, there is not a whole lot you can do about it...her reaction that is. I was once accused of leering at a coworkers breasts my first job at a vet clinic. She was showng me how to do something and I was looking over her shoulder...and she just blurts "Hey, are you looking down my shirt?" Haha. I doesn't matter what you say to defend yourself...THEY WILL NOT believe you. So it's best to move on like nothing happened. The best way to handle it is to not treat her any different. On the other hand, the evil side of you could just say, "You know what? They're not _that_ impressive, so get over yourself." and walk away never explaining what you meant.


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## Dollystanford

OMG hahahah
Yes Trenton is right, men stare at chests. It's fine, I totally checked out a guy's ass in the supermarket today


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## sparkyjim

Trenton said:


> Now if you had popped a boner while looking at her breasts and grabbed onto it and told her you'd like to stick it in her cleavage...there would be something wrong.



Damn.... maybe that is why the woman I was dancing with started to feel uncomfortable....


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## Wiserforit

BeaverBeauty said:


> Last week an attractive and friendly work colleague was at my desk discussing work when she caught me looking at her cleavage. She did not react but has been cool and keeping her distance.
> What should I do? Apologise or pretend that nothing happened?:scratchhead:


You've been manipulated.

The point of doing this bait-and-bust is to put you in a one-down position where they can exploit that to their advantage.

Just look how you are now so insecure and unsure of what to do. That's the entire point of the bait-and-bust. You are all worried how to make up for this contrived indiscretion. 

Know this: never trust this person. This is someone who plays dirty pool in order to put one over on you. You said "friendly" co-worker. Hardly. More like a snake with t!ts. Be cool and aloof, strictly business. Not out of an act - but out of self preservation.


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## sparkyjim

Wiserforit said:


> You've been manipulated.
> 
> The point of doing this bait-and-bust is to put you in a one-down position where they can exploit that to their advantage.
> 
> Just look how you are now so insecure and unsure of what to do. That's the entire point of the bait-and-bust. You are all worried how to make up for this contrived indiscretion.
> 
> Know this: never trust this person. This is someone who plays dirty pool in order to put one over on you. You said "friendly" co-worker. Hardly. More like a snake with t!ts. Be cool and aloof, strictly business. Not out of an act - but out of self preservation.



I'm sorry - but this is over the top.

It's not us against them. It's not women against men. 

I highly doubt that she was being manipulative that morning when she put on that blouse.

But I do agree that the OP became unsure and insecure. He needs to work on this.

And I do agree that the OP has to be strictly business with the women - all the women - at his work site.

Self preservation is the key here. Work, and making a living is way more important than the vicarious thrill one might get from a little booby flash.


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## Rascal

I am amazed that you are even worried about it. I feel sorry for you for living in this private little hell where you feel guilty about simply looking at a woman's cleavage. My dear friend, looks are free. I bet she even leaned forward so you could even get a better view - didn't she? If she didn't want you looking, she wouldn't dress that way. Seriously! Instead of feeling guilty, if anything, you should be feeling privileged.

If I had been you and she was my friend, I probably would have said something like "hey, nice boobs". I have done it before. In fact, I have even asked if they would undo another button so I could get better look (and she did).

Now what gets me is when they dress that way but clearly get all uncomfortable when one stares at them. As they have the right to dress as provocatively as they want, one has the right to shamelessly leer at them as much as one wants.


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## Wiserforit

sparkyjim said:


> It's not us against them. It's not women against men.


I said nothing of the kind. You are way out of line with such an inane accusation. 

The words "men" and "women" did not even appear in my post, nor any term speaking collectively of either.

*This person* (singular) was the only reference to any entity in that post, so how could you possibly generalize a specific statement about one person into a gender war about men vs women? That's incredible.


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## john117

Learn to, ehem, observe while not really looking like you are observing, sort of like the Heisenberg principle on cleavage.


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## Starstarfish

Maybe she was dressing that way for a specific someone at work, and didn't want other people noticing. Any co-workers she seems particularly close to?


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## FormerSelf

Wiserforit said:


> The point of doing this bait-and-bust is to put you in a one-down position where they can exploit that to their advantage.


HAHAHA! I have a co-worker who does the "bend and snap"...she bends down, sticking her butt way out there, then jerks up and turns her head to catch if someone is leering!!! True story.


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## EleGirl

I agree with the others. She was showing off her assets. Any woman who does that is looking for attention.

If she or anyone else ever says anything about your looking just claim sexual harrassment in the work place.. she sticks it in your face and then complains when you look? Then she is harassing you.


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## IKZQ

Haha. In these PC times, this is how it is. A certain type enjoys playing everything both ways. They primp, spend every waking hour buying and applying makeup or getting enhancement surgery, but just DARE you to look. Even if your look is not sexually curious, but just in disbelief! Just be glad you're not her boss. She'd sue you, which is what she wants most out of life anyway.


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## I Notice The Details

Do NOT apologize for admiring her beautiful curves or "details". The women that I know would appreciate a little attention from a man...it makes them feel special, if it is done tastefully, in an appreciative way. If I was in your situation and she caught me looking, I would have immediately followed it up with..."you look very nice today". 

Just my opinion.


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## TheCrunch

john117 said:


> Learn to, ehem, observe while not really looking like you are observing, sort of like the Heisenberg principle on cleavage.


I guess if you can't help seeing them then the above is the way to proceed. A one second glance, rather than a three second (way too long) leer, would achieve this IMHP.


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## LoriC

If she doesn't want anyone looking at the girls than she needs to tuck them away. I hate women like this. I don't hide my girls, because they are fabulous! Se needs to get over herself, you did nothing wrong!


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## RandomDude

Just be cool
Or better yet, compliment her goods 

Liar, liar Elevator Scene (English) - YouTube

But no, seriously, don't EVER apologise for something like this!

Besides she prolly got her ego-boost, no need to feed it and make yourself look like an idiot by bringing up something she herself has probably forgotten by the time you see her again


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## couple

Don't apologize. Just be more careful in the future. Being known to look inappropriately at women in the office is not cool and wont' do you any good. There are a couple of guys in my office who shamelessly stare and in my mind, it doesn't reflect well on them. I'm not saying that you did anything inappropriate but it sounds like you were caught red handed. However, it's not unusual to get caught like this and it sounds like she's cool with it. Her being more distant might be your imagination.

There are a lot of comments here basically saying 'what does a women expect when she dresses like that'. Well many women are complicated with this....they will dress like that but then lose some of their courage when they go out in public.

I wouldn't worry about it...just try to keep your nose clean in the future.


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## Suspecting

This is dangerous ground you're walking on. Because of the peeping you might get sued for sexual harassment and marked as a pervert. Tread carefully.


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## MaritimeGuy

Trenton said:


> Now if you had popped a boner while looking at her breasts and grabbed onto it and told her you'd like to stick it in her cleavage...there would be something wrong.


I would have thought that would indicate there is nothing wrong...that all systems are functioning as intended


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## Suspecting

Once in the past at work a very attractive office lady with a low cut shirt leaned over the table while looking and talking to me. It was like she dared me to look at the girls and I in my curious little mind of course fell for it and she noticed and felt offended I then felt ashamed. Afterwards I tried to apologise and played "Sex Bomb" by Tom Jones http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkFfK-mh1kQ to her. It didn't go well.


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## jman

john117 said:


> Learn to, ehem, observe while not really looking like you are observing, sort of like the Heisenberg principle on cleavage.


Like Seinfeld once said:

“Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it. It's too risky. Ya get a sense of it and then you look away.”


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## SouthernMiss

Ok...you got caught. You were ogling a coworker, and that is not appropriate. Nothing in your post states she was dressed inappropriately or that she was being forward for you when you were looking...so let's not blame her (I'm talking to some of the bitter, angry men in this thread...whoa...holy woman hater )

Don't apologize. Just don't do it again. You're not a terrible person...you just overstepped things a little. Don't do it again, and the situation should quickly fade from everybody's minds. 

Boobs are wonderful things...forgive yourself for looking. It's not the end of the world. We all look at nice boobies  But again, it's something you have to try not to do in the work place. It's just not professional. Keep the ogling outside of the work place. 

If, however, she were wearing highly inappropriate clothing (showing more than a very modest amount of cleavage) or was deliberately bending over for you to view...that is a different situation. In that situation, she should be ashamed of herself. She's the unprofessional one. And you may consider talking to HR about her. But again, that's not the idea I got from your original post.


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## sparkyjim

SouthernMiss said:


> Boobs are wonderful things...forgive yourself for looking. It's not the end of the world. We all look at nice boobies



Women look at boobs? Like, in the same way that men look?


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## sparkyjim

Trenton said:


> I am a woman and I look at everything. It doesn't mean I'm interested, just curious.


Now do you have to follow the three second rule? or are you given a "pass"


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## sparkyjim

I was just being silly,but I love hearing that you gals look too. 

I get it.


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## Fallen Leaf

It's not your fault they were in your face. Don't worry about it.


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## larry.gray

SouthernMiss said:


> Ok...you got caught. You were ogling a coworker, and that is not appropriate.


If they're not appropriate to look at then they should not be appropriate to reveal at work.


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## Dollystanford

of course we look! we look at asses too you know

well I do anyway


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## unbelievable

H.R. just treated us to the "harassment" video at work today. Not merely sexual harassment, mind you. Not just violations of the Civil Rights Act of '64...basically, the take-home was we should avoid saying or doing anything that anyone might possibly take offense to. Guess that means communicate in writing only, with witnesses present, keep it to a minimum, and only 100% work related. Even after all that, keep an attorney on retainer just in case. Carrot sticks and ranch dressing could be offensive to someone. It'll be great to be retired someday so I can tell offended people to bite me.


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## PreRaphaelite

Here's what I'd do:

Apologize for nothing.


Just treat her just like you would any other co-worker from now on and if she leans over look right into her eyes to show her that you're paying attention to her and you're not fazed.

She'll either like the fact that you're focusing on her as co-worker and not as a woman, or she'll become curious as to why you're not looking at her anymore.


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## unbelievable

There are no women at work. No men, either. We have no political, religious, or cultural beliefs or opinions. We don't have a sense of humor and we're not sexual beings. We take no one into our confidence. We put tab A into slot B and The Man puts a penny in our little tin cup.


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## Wiserforit

SouthernMiss said:


> Ok...you got caught. You were ogling a coworker, and that is not appropriate.


Excellent, thanks! 

Ogling: Verb. Stare at in a lecherous manner. 

Which exaggerates what he said in two respects: you turned "looking" into "staring" and added in "lecherous". 

That distortion of the OP is then carried even further to call other people by ad hominems. A bitter, angry woman would do that. 

But hey, then you add in the delicious hypocrisy here:




> Boobs are wonderful things...forgive yourself for looking.
> 
> We all look at nice boobies


So hey, let's just return the favor: you ogle women inappropriately. 

You should stop doing that.


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## alphaomega

That depends.....

We're you drooling all over your spreadsheets at the same time, with big gobs of saliva dribbling down your chin....


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## FormerSelf

haha...well at least you didn't do this:

Beyoncé Gets Slapped In The Ass | During Live Concert | High Quality - YouTube


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## hambone

Rascal said:


> I am amazed that you are even worried about it. I feel sorry for you for living in this private little hell where you feel guilty about simply looking at a woman's cleavage. My dear friend, looks are free. I bet she even leaned forward so you could even get a better view - didn't she? If she didn't want you looking, she wouldn't dress that way. Seriously! Instead of feeling guilty, if anything, you should be feeling privileged.
> 
> If I had been you and she was my friend, I probably would have said something like "hey, nice boobs". I have done it before. In fact, I have even asked if they would undo another button so I could get better look (and she did).
> 
> Now what gets me is when they dress that way but clearly get all uncomfortable when one stares at them. As they have the right to dress as provocatively as they want, one has the right to shamelessly leer at them as much as one wants.





sparkyjim said:


> I'm sorry - but this is over the top.
> 
> It's not us against them. It's not women against men.
> 
> I highly doubt that she was being manipulative that morning when she put on that blouse.
> 
> But I do agree that the OP became unsure and insecure. He needs to work on this.
> 
> And I do agree that the OP has to be strictly business with the women - all the women - at his work site.
> 
> Self preservation is the key here. Work, and making a living is way more important than the vicarious thrill one might get from a little booby flash.


I disagree. In this day an age... a woman can charge you with sexual harassment... and according to some people...if she FELT that you sexually harassed her... then you did! It's case closed. 

I wouldn't trust this woman and I'd NEVER tell anyone at work that it happened.


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## FormerSelf

We are having sexual harrassment training at work today...groan. Not that I think it is appropriate...it is just that people are going to do what they are going to do. I've been to tons of these and it doesn't change anything except for the company that wants to avoid litigation.


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## ScarletBegonias

I don't think you should apologize.Unless you were purposely being over the top about it,which I highly doubt.Everyone checks out everyone.We don't go through life with blinders on and I don't think we should have to be that way anyway.


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## VermisciousKnid

The OP never came back to add more details which is unfortunate. Based on his original description the co-worker was dressed inappropriately for the workplace. In the many corporate environments I've worked in, she would have been told to cover them up and not wear it or anything similar again. Dress codes exist for a reason. Not only should he not apologize, if challenged he should say that he was thinking of going to HR to report her.


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## TCSRedhead

Wiserforit said:


> You've been manipulated.
> 
> The point of doing this bait-and-bust is to put you in a one-down position where they can exploit that to their advantage.
> 
> Just look how you are now so insecure and unsure of what to do. That's the entire point of the bait-and-bust. You are all worried how to make up for this contrived indiscretion.
> 
> Know this: never trust this person. This is someone who plays dirty pool in order to put one over on you. You said "friendly" co-worker. Hardly. More like a snake with t!ts. Be cool and aloof, strictly business. Not out of an act - but out of self preservation.


Really????

I am a woman. I have large breasts. No matter what kind of top/dress I wear, they are prominent and unavoidable to notice.

I've seen colleagues (male AND female) looking when they thought I wasn't paying attention. I've never used it as an 'advantage'. 

It isn't about baiting and busting. I just refuse to be a nun wearing a habit at work because I happen to be well-endowed. 

I guarantee this isn't a big deal. If you continue to stare, drool or otherwise act silly, then it's a big deal. Carry on and keep calm, man.


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## TCSRedhead

VermisciousKnid said:


> The OP never came back to add more details which is unfortunate. Based on his original description the co-worker was dressed inappropriately for the workplace. In the many corporate environments I've worked in, she would have been told to cover them up and not wear it or anything similar again. Dress codes exist for a reason. Not only should he not apologize, if challenged he should say that he was thinking of going to HR to report her.


I guess I should go get that nun costume after all, huh?


:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## Almostrecovered

bewbs


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## TCSRedhead

BeaverBeauty said:


> Last week an attractive and friendly work colleague was at my desk discussing work when she caught me looking at her cleavage. She did not react but has been cool and keeping her distance.
> What should I do? Apologise or pretend that nothing happened?:scratchhead:





VermisciousKnid said:


> The OP never came back to add more details which is unfortunate. Based on his original description the co-worker was dressed inappropriately for the workplace. In the many corporate environments I've worked in, she would have been told to cover them up and not wear it or anything similar again. Dress codes exist for a reason. Not only should he not apologize, if challenged he should say that he was thinking of going to HR to report her.



Where do you see this inappropriate dress described by the OP? For pete's sake, if I wear a v-neck t-shirt, I've got at least 2 inches of cleavage showing and that's just a t-shirt.

Most places don't even HAVE a dress code anymore. I could wear a tank top and yoga pants to work and not get any type of HR attention. 

According to you, I'd have to wear baggy clothing or risk HR reports from people like yourself.


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## VermisciousKnid

TCSRedhead said:


> Where do you see this inappropriate dress described by the OP? For pete's sake, if I wear a v-neck t-shirt, I've got at least 2 inches of cleavage showing and that's just a t-shirt.
> 
> Most places don't even HAVE a dress code anymore. I could wear a tank top and yoga pants to work and not get any type of HR attention.
> 
> According to you, I'd have to wear baggy clothing or risk HR reports from people like yourself.


Actually, I wouldn't report. The other women in the department are usually the ones to reign in their exhibitionistic female colleagues. Google 'Debralee Lorenzana'. And every place I've worked in for the last twenty years has a dress code. Strictly white collar Fortune 500 type places. So you wouldn't be wearing a t-shirt where I work. 

Everybody in this thread is making assumptions about how long he looked, so why not make assumptions about how much cleavage she was showing. I think we can all agree that there are clothes that are very revealing and those that are modest. Not everyone agrees on what is too revealing for the workplace. Some people like to push the envelope. That's why HR departments have to step in and set guidelines.

It may be that she was dressed appropriately, but by bending over gave him a show. I don't know, I wasn't there. But if she was showing the 'girls' in any way, I'd blame her for that rather than him for having the temerity to use his eyeballs as they were intended.


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## I Notice The Details

TCSRedhead said:


> I just refuse to be a nun wearing a habit at work because I happen to be well-endowed.


:rofl: I love the confidence in that answer TCS!!!! If women have beautiful curves, men are going to notice....women too. People just need to be polite and respectful!


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## Terry_CO

Funny thread =))


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## WorkingOnMe

TCSRedhead said:


> Really????
> 
> I am a woman. I have large breasts.


I lost my train of thought after this....

What was the question again?


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## Trojan John

We don't usually have this problem in my country. I've worked in offices where the women tell dirtier jokes than the men. Then again, we drink on occasion and do things that others may find in appropriate like sunning and swimming together over lunch. I'd be doing it now if the weather wasn't so ****.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## FormerSelf

Political correctness minders want us to ascend to some uber-utopian society where we compartmentalize sex roles in the work place. I am all about equal rights, but there is a gender dynamic that plays...and I think that fact that we being dumbed down in biological/gender/evolutionary frameworks, being asked to switch off our ingrained drives for the corporate cause and "equal rights", the result is that we are over-sensitive relational idiots...and try to figure out who the monster is (the woman who wears a scoop-neck, or the guy who briefly catches a glimpse?). We live in a society where some one has to take the blame when really there is no one to blame. I blame the reactionists who try to enact a one-size-fits-all blanket upon everyone to suppress the actual harrassment that does occur. It's as if we have been over-inoculated with sexual harassment education and no one cares anymore...like a blaring car alarm...and alarms will blare and blare and nobody will pay attention until it happens for real. Then the rhetoric gets taken up a higher notch.

Mr. Pervert


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## TCSRedhead

VermisciousKnid said:


> Actually, I wouldn't report. The other women in the department are usually the ones to reign in their exhibitionistic female colleagues. Google 'Debralee Lorenzana'. And every place I've worked in for the last twenty years has a dress code. Strictly white collar Fortune 500 type places. So you wouldn't be wearing a t-shirt where I work.
> 
> Everybody in this thread is making assumptions about how long he looked, so why not make assumptions about how much cleavage she was showing. I think we can all agree that there are clothes that are very revealing and those that are modest. Not everyone agrees on what is too revealing for the workplace. Some people like to push the envelope. That's why HR departments have to step in and set guidelines.
> 
> It may be that she was dressed appropriately, but by bending over gave him a show. I don't know, I wasn't there. But if she was showing the 'girls' in any way, I'd blame her for that rather than him for having the temerity to use his eyeballs as they were intended.


LOL - His post doesn't say anything about her bending over either. So, his post says nothing about her clothing nor about her bending over so your post really makes no sense.

I work for a Fortune 500 company that is named one of the Top 100 places to work for at least the past 4 years (I think more?). Most of my colleagues are male between the ages of 30 - 50 and wear anything from dress slacks w/button up shirts to shorts and t-shirts. That's part of why we like it here.

Bottom line, it doesn't matter what someone is or isn't wearing - people will notice other's physiques and saying that SHE needs to dress differently or behave differently without any indication that SHE was dressed in any way inappropriate or doing something inappropriate is just making me shake my head. HE isn't wrong for noticing the way someone happens to look.

I've had a former boss tell me that he hired me for the way I filled out a blue pinstripe pants suit (and it wasn't revealing or tight). 

I refuse to start dressing in a way to hide just because someone might perceive me in a way that's really about the problems THEY have between their ears. :scratchhead:


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## VermisciousKnid

TCSRedhead said:


> LOL - His post doesn't say anything about her bending over either. So, his post says nothing about her clothing nor about her bending over so your post really makes no sense.
> 
> I work for a Fortune 500 company that is named one of the Top 100 places to work for at least the past 4 years (I think more?). Most of my colleagues are male between the ages of 30 - 50 and wear anything from dress slacks w/button up shirts to shorts and t-shirts. That's part of why we like it here.
> 
> Bottom line, it doesn't matter what someone is or isn't wearing - people will notice other's physiques and saying that SHE needs to dress differently or behave differently without any indication that SHE was dressed in any way inappropriate or doing something inappropriate is just making me shake my head. HE isn't wrong for noticing the way someone happens to look.
> 
> I've had a former boss tell me that he hired me for the way I filled out a blue pinstripe pants suit (and it wasn't revealing or tight).
> 
> I refuse to start dressing in a way to hide just because someone might perceive me in a way that's really about the problems THEY have between their ears. :scratchhead:


You're right. There was no bending. 

So I'm working at HQ today (2500 employees) and I decided to walk the halls at lunchtime. Best time to see people. No cleavage. None. It's all buttoned up. Which explains my assumption about her leaning forward or bending over. You just don't see it where I work. 

So how many women who want the protection of HR's anti-harrassment policies and their ability to caution a guy for making a woman uncomfortable by looking at her, also want the freedom to dress any way they want? You can't have it both ways - the dress code often ties in with the anti-harassment policy.


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## Nucking Futs

There's a very good training video that explains how to get along in the workplace without sexual harrasment issues.

Tom Brady on SNL skit (Smigel): "Sexual Harassment and You" - YouTube


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## doubletrouble

I work in a federal job and one guy had a Snap-On tool coffee cup with young women on it in suggestive poses. I complained -- that could be my daughter, and this guy is an old fat freak. They told him to do something about it, so he put sticky notes over parts of the girls on the cup. This is in a federal gov't office. 

Before this job, I was in management for many years, we got all the harassment videos and training, and this cup would have been banned from the property.


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## TCSRedhead

There is a world of difference between noticing and being inappropriate. I know people look and notice. Staring? That's a different matter. Making my bonus dependent on my personal interaction with you? Not appropriate. Scolding me for my attire when others wear the same or more revealing? Not appropriate. 

I've been ogled wearing a turtleneck and slacks. Is that my fault also?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## VermisciousKnid

TCSRedhead said:


> There is a world of difference between noticing and being inappropriate. I know people look and notice. Staring? That's a different matter. Making my bonus dependent on my personal interaction with you? Not appropriate. Scolding me for my attire when others wear the same or more revealing? Not appropriate.
> 
> I've been ogled wearing a turtleneck and slacks. Is that my fault also?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Who's assigning blame? Not me. I was reacting to the comment that the OP's glance could be reported as "unwanted sexual attention" to the HR department. It probably would be taken seriously. Imagine if his raise/bonus took a hit over that. Equally unfair. 

I guess you work in a more casual environment than me, but would everything still be cool if you or other women came to work in miniskirts and tube tops? At some point management is going to say it's unprofessional. The reason it's unprofessional is because its distracting... to the men. 

And yeah, you can be ogled no matter what you wear, but is that relevant to the discussion? The OP was caught staring at cleavage, not covered parts.


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## Enginerd

doubletrouble said:


> I work in a federal job and one guy had a Snap-On tool coffee cup with young women on it in suggestive poses. I complained -- that could be my daughter, and this guy is an old fat freak. They told him to do something about it, so he put sticky notes over parts of the girls on the cup. This is in a federal gov't office.
> 
> Before this job, I was in management for many years, we got all the harassment videos and training, and this cup would have been banned from the property.



I've had the training as well. The training is not given to protect women from being harrassed. The training is given to protect the office and management team from being sued. Are you really offended by sexy women? Were you the hall monitor in grammer school?


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## doubletrouble

Enginerd said:


> I've had the training as well. The training is not given to protect women from being harrassed. The training is given to protect the office and management team from being sued. Are you really offended by sexy women? Were you the hall monitor in grammer school?


I agree, it's all about training so they won't get sued. 

I am offended when women try to be sexy, or when men hit on women in the (professional) workplace, yeah. Work is not a bar. Both genders need to dress and act appropriately for the workplace.


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## Wiserforit

TCSRedhead said:


> Really????
> 
> I am a woman. I have large breasts. No matter what kind of top/dress I wear, they are prominent and unavoidable to notice.


So? 



> I've seen colleagues (male AND female) looking when they thought I wasn't paying attention. I've never used it as an 'advantage'.


Then I am not talking about you. Unless your IQ is 20, you would be able to discern that. 

You want to tell us what big breasts you have. Nobody could see them on a discussion board, so you announce multiple times about them:



> I just refuse to be a nun wearing a habit at work because I happen to be well-endowed.


Bragging about big breasts again. 

*yawn* Personally I find them unattractive. 



> I guarantee this isn't a big deal. If you continue to stare, drool or otherwise act silly, then it's a big deal. Carry on and keep calm, man.


Hilarious. I'm a lot more calm than the woman jumping up and down rhetorically about how big her breasts are.


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## TiggyBlue

I can't see how TCDReadhead was bragging.


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## TCSRedhead

TiggyBlue said:


> I can't see how TCDReadhead was bragging.


Clearly that WAS the point of my post! It's good to know that Wiserforit knows how ALL women's brains work even if we ourselves don't.

Not that the assertion of manipulation was absurd. Nah, let's just ignore that part. :smthumbup:

;-)


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## TCSRedhead

humanbecoming said:


> Well, if we men have our brains in our pen!ses, womens MUST be in their blouses!
> 
> Oh.... Guess that means your brains are bigger


According to Wiserforit, that can't be correct. Or if it is, I'm just bragging. 

Dear me, I'm confused again.:scratchhead:


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## PreRaphaelite

TCSRedhead said:


> Really????
> 
> I am a woman. I have large breasts. No matter what kind of top/dress I wear, they are prominent and unavoidable to notice.
> 
> I've seen colleagues (male AND female) looking when they thought I wasn't paying attention. I've never used it as an 'advantage'.
> 
> It isn't about baiting and busting. I just refuse to be a nun wearing a habit at work because I happen to be well-endowed.
> 
> I guarantee this isn't a big deal. If you continue to stare, drool or otherwise act silly, then it's a big deal. Carry on and keep calm, man.


:iagree:

Once upon a time I thought this went without saying.

I admire breasts. I admire big breasts very much, and other breasts too. I look at them all the time.

I try to be discreet and if I'm staring too much, the woman usually gives me a sign and I shift my focus just to be a gentleman about it. /shrug


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## Interlocutor

doubletrouble said:


> I work in a federal job and one guy had a Snap-On tool coffee cup with young women on it in suggestive poses. I complained -- that could be my daughter, and this guy is an old fat freak. They told him to do something about it, so he put sticky notes over parts of the girls on the cup. This is in a federal gov't office.
> 
> Before this job, I was in management for many years, we got all the harassment videos and training, and this cup would have been banned from the property.


Are the women illustrated on cup naked or something?

"That could be my daughter..." where, on the cup? 

You serious?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Starstarfish

I'm not really sure a profession government office is really the place for a cup like that - I mean, you aren't a truck driver sitting in a private cab all day. What would be the female equivalent a mug from Spencers showing Magic Mike where the thong disappears when the coffee is hot enough? 

I mean, not even Don Draper brings a mug like that to the office every day. It's all about at least the appearance of some kind of decorum, particularly in a government office. You already know they are trying to screw you figuratively, its best not to also be concerned they are after you literally.


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## Interlocutor

Starstarfish said:


> I'm not really sure a profession government office is really the place for a cup like that - I mean, you aren't a truck driver sitting in a private cab all day. What would be the female equivalent a mug from Spencers showing Magic Mike where the thong disappears when the coffee is hot enough?
> 
> I mean, not even Don Draper brings a mug like that to the office every day. It's all about at least the appearance of some kind of decorum, particularly in a government office. You already know they are trying to screw you figuratively, its best not to also be concerned they are after you literally.


I agree but I wouldn't be offended either. I would just give it a WTF look and continue toward the copy machine personally instead of immediately worrying about my daughter... Maybe it's just me but it sounded a tad melodramatic.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TCSRedhead

The guy should have replaced the cup with one showing the middle finger salute!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Interlocutor

TCSRedhead said:


> The guy should have replaced the cup with one showing the middle finger salute!!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That's what I'm saying! lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SomedayDig

BeaverBeauty said:


> Last week an attractive and friendly work colleague was at my desk discussing work when she caught me looking at her cleavage. She did not react but has been cool and keeping her distance.
> What should I do? Apologise or pretend that nothing happened?:scratchhead:


Geesh...with your screen name, I'm surprised you even noticed her boobs :rofl:

Seriously, no harm ~ no foul. 

And can we get Red back in here to talk about her cleavage some more, please? Red?

Red?


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## Maricha75

SomedayDig said:


> Geesh...with your screen name, I'm surprised you even noticed her boobs :rofl:
> 
> Seriously, no harm ~ no foul.
> 
> And can we get Red back in here to talk about her cleavage some more, please? Red?
> 
> Red?


Will I do? 

Actually, I wanna cut my cleavage off. Can only handle just so much....


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## SomedayDig

Maricha75 said:


> Will I do?
> 
> Actually, I wanna cut my cleavage off. Can only handle just so much....


Sure. You've got nipples.

Oh...and don't Jolie yourself, please. Thank you...the Management.


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## Maricha75

SomedayDig said:


> Sure. You've got nipples.
> 
> Oh...and don't Jolie yourself, please. Thank you...the Management.


Not a Jolie thing... it's a back pain thing...and being able to find something that fits properly. 

Don't worry... the boss has put in his specs. We got it covered.


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## TCSRedhead

Maricha75 said:


> Will I do?
> 
> Actually, I wanna cut my cleavage off. Can only handle just so much....


I am SOO there. I want to be a B. *sigh*. 

But H is a bewb guy so not likely to happen.


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## RandomDude

Suspecting said:


> This is dangerous ground you're walking on. Because of the peeping you might get sued for sexual harassment and marked as a pervert. Tread carefully.


You can get sued for looking at cleavage? :rofl:


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## ScarletBegonias

I looked at boobs today..and a buttcrack.the boobs were awesome,buttcrack was not.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TCSRedhead

The buttcrack was an attempt to manipulate you. You should report it.


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## ScarletBegonias

TCSRedhead said:


> The buttcrack was an attempt to manipulate you. You should report it.


If boobs and buttcrack are manipulation tactics,I'm a master manipulator at home then...damn yoga pants and low cut tank tops!! Now waiting on pins and needles for SO to report me
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TCSRedhead

Be afraid. You are a dangerous woman. It's about time someone brought you to heel!


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## ScarletBegonias

TCSRedhead said:


> Be afraid. You are a dangerous woman. It's about time someone brought you to heel!


Oh noooooo!! Lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## thatguy007

I'm late to the discussion, but don't apologize - don't say anything about it. Just move on. I've been "caught" a couple of times myself, but there is not much you can do about it, other than averting your eyes next time. It's awkward for a bit, but it generally gets back to normal with some time.

Just don't be a lech about it, and certainly don't say "About the other day, when I was checking out those sweater puppies..."


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## Runs like Dog

Look harder.


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## RandomDude

Lol, poke your nose in and have a sniffle


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## Malcolm38

Just move on and don't make it a dramatic thing.


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## Nucking Futs

RandomDude said:


> Lol, poke your nose in and have a sniffle


Or motorboat 'em.


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## Runs like Dog

Take a picture.


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## jerseygirl123

Do nothing. Next time just try to focus on her face. There is a man who works at the WaWa (like a 7-11) who has a crush on me. He's at least 40, but he is special needs. He cleans up inside and outside the building. 

He used to like to hug me, and that creeped me out, so I started to stay a safe distance from him.

The last time I went in the store while he was there, he looked at my chest 10 times in about 3 minutes. It was just a t-shirt. It was hilarious! I know his work schedule and just go to the store at other times.


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## ocotillo

RandomDude said:


> You can get sued for looking at cleavage? :rofl:


No.


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## Woodchuck

You dumbass...Only really hot rich young guys are supposed to look....It's a rule...

the woodchuck


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## TiggyBlue

Woodchuck said:


> You dumbass...Only really hot rich young guys are supposed to look....It's a rule...
> 
> the woodchuck


Not true AT ALL........ they don't need to be rich


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## Woodchuck

I am not a breast man...I am a full fledged a$$ man....And you can stare at them a lot more without the owner noticing....

I hate to see her go but love to watch her leave........

the woodchuck


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## Runs like Dog

Whistle.


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## 2ntnuf

These poor guys are in the same boat. I just don't get it. 


maintain eye contact... "mission impossible"﻿ - YouTube


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