# Where to start with counseling



## lucybrown (Mar 11, 2013)

I found out after I had a baby my husband cheated before I was pregnant. He lied to my face about it, a year later I questioned him after meeting her and noticing she treated me in a peculiar way, and has since been emotionally ridiculing me for never getting 'over it' and his story changes. He did not apologize for years. He violated my body and mind by not going to the dr before he jumped from her back to me. For eight years I have cried and begged for counseling and finally our first appointment is next week (I had no control because it is through his work). I am over his actions, but I am not over his ability to belittle me and behave like a narcissist/crazymaker. He flies into a rage anytime I am overwhelmed by my thoughts (of this and flashes of childhood rape). When this happens I tend to keep to myself, cleaning, and he gets upset because I'm not acting 'happy' and says I'm moping. I am very sad, lonely and confused by his behavior. I have gone into a very deep depression and can hardly function or wake in the morning, mostly I think I don't want to. I don't know what to address first, much less how to open his eyes so he stops treating me this way.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

When you interview the therapist they will help you locate and organise areas you could improve upon. They'll also discuss the best methods for handling the "issues". It may help you to write down some of the things you want to talk to the therapist about... That way you are prepared when you go. You can also write down a few of the examples above from your relationship and how you currently cope. This will help the therapist what things you can do to (maybe) improve things in your relationship. Is your husband getting therapy? Have you thought of marriage counselling?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lucybrown (Mar 11, 2013)

I went to therapy on my own a few years back, per his request. I was urged to leave him based on th lack of respect he had been giving me. We are going to marriage counseling this week.


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## jaydee (Jan 21, 2013)

so sad for you all those years of lying to you...no wonder youre depressed...and him flying into rages when you need to talk is just another way to shut you up. please find some strength and walk away with your little one. find support in the friends and family that love and care for you.


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## portabledorothy (Mar 19, 2013)

How was the individual therapy? I agree that leaving him behind for a few sessions on your own is a great idea. You deserve to be happy and to find happiness. You should work out what you want for your relationship and your marriage with the counselor and then bring him in to discuss those ideas in a healthy environment. With the way he has been treating you, I would put yourself first. We can't be assertive in our relationships without understanding what we need and want. Good luck!


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