# Women have to understand that you don't ask these 2 questions when first meeting a



## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

Guy from a dating because it screams desepration

1. Do you want kids?

2. Do you want to get married someday?


It was our first phone conversation and I was stunned that someone could be that stupid to ask questions like that during a first conversation. She is setting herself up to be PLAYED


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## meson (May 19, 2011)

Those are great questions. Why waste time. And then it should be followed up with actions that demonstrate it. Like giving him a baby to hold etc. it's great for filtering out players...


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

It tells you exactly what she wants. I don't see how that's stupid. It removed you from the equation, didn't it?


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

meson said:


> Those are great questions. Why waste time. And then it should be followed up with actions that demonstrate it. Like giving him a baby to hold etc. it's great for filtering out players...


Those are not questions for a 1st convo


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

Satya said:


> It tells you exactly what she wants. I don't see how that's stupid. It removed you from the equation, didn't it?


Yes because it was a interview not a conversation


I will never understand why a average looking women with a job not making much money is so pressed to get married

But a pretty women with a GOOD JOB is not even thinking about having kids


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## meson (May 19, 2011)

SMG15 said:


> Yes because it was a interview not a conversation
> 
> 
> I will never understand why a average looking women with a job not making much money is so pressed to get married
> ...


That's what dating is. It's an interview and you apparently failed. Such is life, live and learn.


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

meson said:


> That's what dating is. It's an interview and you apparently failed. Such is life, live and learn.


Maybe that's why I hate it


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Satya said:


> It tells you exactly what she wants. I don't see how that's stupid. *It removed you from the equation, didn't it?*


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## thread the needle (May 4, 2015)

I have not agreed with a single thing you have ever said on this forum. Add this to the list. 

For the other posters that will eventually wander in here due to the provocative title, the OP will argue against every good point made and never acknowledge or indicate the he has learned a solitary thing from this forum because he does not listen to anyone here.


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

thread the needle said:


> I have not agreed with a single thing you have ever said on this forum. Add this to the list.
> 
> For the other posters that will eventually wander in here due to the provocative title, the OP will argue against every good point made and never acknowledge or indicate the he has learned a solitary thing from this forum because he does not listen to anyone here.



well a guy could lie and say he wants kids and married just so he can get the A$$


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

SMG15 said:


> Those are not questions for a 1st convo


Says the consummate professional, _successful _dater.


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## Abc123wife (Sep 18, 2013)

SMG15 said:


> Guy from a dating because it screams desepration
> 
> 1. Do you want kids?
> 
> ...


Based on your previous threads detailing your recent experiences with dating, I don't think you are qualified to be giving dating advice!


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## thread the needle (May 4, 2015)

SMG15 said:


> well a guy could lie and say he wants kids and married just so he can get the A$$


Yes and women can and probably do lie to you that they want kids and marriage to end your dates and conversations early and no one would fault them for it except you


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

thread the needle said:


> Yes and women can and probably do lie to you that they want kids and marriage to end your dates and conversations early and no one would fault them for it except you


explain to me what you talking about


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## Illbehisfoolagain (May 7, 2012)

Your problem is that you have things set in your mind of how things should go. People will never act the way YOU want them to, you have to let people be people. You don't get to have a preset idea of how a conversation, or a date will go. Thats not how life is, its real life, not scripted TV show. 

After reading a lot of your threads, I have to ask, and I am not being judgmental, but have you ever been diagnosed with any sort of social disorder, or learning disorder?


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## thread the needle (May 4, 2015)

SMG15 said:


> explain to me what you talking about



For what? 

You can't possibly grasp it


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

Lol


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## Kylie84 (May 4, 2012)

Illbehisfoolagain said:


> Your problem is that you have things set in your mind of how things should go. People will never act the way YOU want them to, you have to let people be people. You don't get to have a preset idea of how a conversation, or a date will go. Thats not how life is, its real life, not scripted TV show.
> 
> After reading a lot of your threads, I have to ask, and I am not being judgmental, but *have you ever been diagnosed with any sort of social disorder, or learning disorder?*


In my head, he is diagnosed >
Sorry OP, you are no where near qualified to give dating advice to women, men, or any other living being.


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

Illbehisfoolagain said:


> Your problem is that you have things set in your mind of how things should go. People will never act the way YOU want them to, you have to let people be people. You don't get to have a preset idea of how a conversation, or a date will go. Thats not how life is, its real life, not scripted TV show.
> 
> After reading a lot of your threads, I have to ask, and I am not being judgmental, but have you ever been diagnosed with any sort of social disorder, or learning disorder?


I haven't been diagnosed with sh*T


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Maybe not, be most of us are pretty sure you have Aspergers.


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

turnera said:


> Maybe not, be most of us are pretty sure you have Aspergers.


do me a small favor and cancel your internet service


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

lol

Can dish it but can't take it...

We honestly tried to discuss with you the possibility of you having Aspergers because if you DO have it there is a ton of reference material out there, and help, that can help you fix this mess you're in.

But bottom line, YOU are the only one who can improve your life by making the changes it needs; until then, you'll continue to start ridiculous thread after ridiculous thread where you continue to try to figure out how to date and we continue to try to help you see that YOU are the problem, not the women.


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

SMG15
Few easy questions...
What do you do for a living?
What kind of hobbies do you have?
Do you collect things of interest?

Good first date questions right...?

Try answering them for me.
#1 JOB
#2 HOBBIES
#3 COLLECTIONS OR INTERESTS

I work in print publishing.
I like woodworking, and reading.
I collect comic book memorabilia.


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## Illbehisfoolagain (May 7, 2012)

Also, don't assume you know she (any woman who asks these things) wants to be married and have kids. Maybe she hates kids and doesnt believe in marriage, unless she immediately follows the question with "Because I want to get married and have 5 kids" you really don't know what shes thinking.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

SMG15 said:


> Those are not questions for a 1st convo


But, on some (most?) dating sites, they are questions in your profile you answer before even having a first conversation with someone. Is that ok? 

The purpose of dating is to find a future mate, so what's wrong with filtering out someone who wouldn't be a match? Besides, what if she wanted your answers to be no marriage, no kids? Would that be ok?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

*Re: Women have to unders tand that you don't ask these 2 questions when first meeting*



SMG15 said:


> Yes because it was a interview not a conversation
> 
> 
> I will never understand why a average looking women with a job not making much money is so pressed to get married
> ...


When I was young and working.. I was still looking for a FAMILY MAN.. I think it's best to weed people out.. seeing how things work in the dating world today , it seems ALL GAMES TO ME. People F*** before they even talk about their dreams, aspirations , their likes, dislikes.. they don't even know each other at all.

I think there are ways to bring up these conversations without it coming off like an interview.. I much prefer upfront honesty in anyone I meet over playing some passive game trying to come off as something / someone you are NOT -just to win someone over...

If you are the FAMILY MAN type , then a woman like this would not be a turn off (looking into the future, it's something to discuss, if you have a similar vision ).... I think it's good you realized it early on.. and you parted ways...


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

The only question I require my daughters to ask on their first dates is: 

"Are you SMG15 from TAM" ?

That way if the answer is "yes" they can politely excuse themselves to the exit.


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## tornado (Jan 10, 2014)

If I'm ever single and dating again I think I'm gonna come up with a multiple choice questionnaire for them to fill out.


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

tornado said:


> If I'm ever single and dating again I think I'm gonna come up with a multiple choice questionnaire for them to fill out.


A dating application?


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Tbh, I think those questions are a little premature for a first date/convo? What ever happened to having a bit of fun and keeping it casual to begin with, that's the way it used to be, but what would I know that was a life time ago.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

If asked those questions, I'd answer honestly, but I'd also have a few of my own, such as their education, career achievements and current earnings, future career goals and where they see themselves in five years. May as well screen out those with incompatible goals right away and not waste time on just dating and enjoying that experience.


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

Married but Happy said:


> If asked those questions, I'd answer honestly, but I'd also have a few of my own, such as their education, career achievements and current earnings, future career goals and where they see themselves in five years. May as well screen out those with incompatible goals right away and not waste time on just dating and enjoying that experience.


Exactly. When you have boundaries or other non-negotiable points in people you date, those things are best made up front and clear at the beginning.

For example, I will not be involved with someone who is a drug user.

Why should I "date" someone for several months and get emotionally vested, only to find out down the road she smokes pot?

Better to ask right off the bat rather than waste everyone's time.

Unless you're only looking to score a piece, in which case, it doesn't really matter I suppose.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

SMG15 said:


> Guy from a dating because it screams desepration
> 
> 1. Do you want kids?
> 
> ...


Guy here..... 100% disagree with you. I have asked those questions and been asked those very questions in a first conversation/date.. I actually think they are two of the more imporant questions to ask so no one wastes time. The others I always ask is have you ever cheated and why did the marriage end. Can you be played.....maybe...but one thing I have alway found is that if you give someone enough rope, and they lie, they eventually hang themselves with it. Dating , when trying to find a relationship, is interviewing .


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

When I got back into the dating world in my mid-40's, I encountered a lot of women a little younger who did not have children, and some had never been married. It wasn't usually among the first things I asked, but within a few dates I would want to know if they wanted children, because I knew I did not want any more, and did not want to waste their time or mine. Marriage wasn't important to me, but it wasn't out of the question, either.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Not only are those questions okay for a first meeting, they're so common and the answers are so important in determining compatibility, that they're actually covered in most online dating site profiles. I even have my filters set to only show me matches whose answers to those questions match my own inclinations. Because it would be an utter waste of my time, and his, to go out with a man who wanted something for his future that didn't mesh with what I wanted for mine. 

I also ask, before going out with a man, how long he's been single, how/why his marriage ended, and what his current relationship with his ex-wife I like. They're all filter questions that quickly weed out men with whom I would have very major points of incompatibility. And, frankly, most men ask me questions - again, prior to even going out the first time - that are clearly designed to weed out women with whom they would be seriously incompatible.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Give it up, SMG! And for goodness sakes, please give up the online dating thing. It's not working well for you at all.

Online dating IS different than "real life" dating. There are tons more available people online searching for the right "fit." With so many potential people to date, the first convo IS more or less an interview. Cut to the chase. A chance to figure out if this is someone who you even want to give an ounce of your time to.

YOU want the convenience of online dating with the "rules" of a REAL first date.

Never gonna happen.

Go out and meet people in real life, the old-fashioned way -- volunteer, charity, Meet-up group, sports leagues, fundraising, birdwatching. If you meet someone and there is mutual interest, follow it up with a date.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

@SMG15, do you want kids/marriage someday?

If not, why would you even want to go on a date with someone who does?


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
I think there are really two types of dates: fun dates and serious dates. (I want a better word than serious but can't come up with one).

To me a fun date is where the goal is to enjoy yourselves on that date. If you enjoy you plan future dates. In time those may develop into a long term relationship. 

A serious date is when you are searching for a long term partner / spouse. The goal is not to have fun, but to find the right person.

Questions about children, etc are OK on a serious date, not on a fun date.

That said, I think serious dates are often a mistake. I think it makes more sense to see if you enjoy being with someone before you even begin to think about something long term.


Were I dating, I would not not be interested in someone who asked that sort of question, or wanted to get serious too quickly. I take commitment very seriously, and I want to know someone very well before I make any sort of long term commitment. So I'd answer "do you want children" or "do you want to get married" with "probably not", and see if they still wanted to date.


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## tornado (Jan 10, 2014)

gouge_away said:


> tornado said:
> 
> 
> > If I'm ever single and dating again I think I'm gonna come up with a multiple choice questionnaire for them to fill out.
> ...



Sure, let's find out some core values early. No sense wasting months slowly finding out.


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

SecondTime'Round said:


> why would you even want to go on a date with someone who does?


sex?


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## tornado (Jan 10, 2014)

I dont know if you could have just fun dates with someone with different values and beliefs though.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

tornado said:


> I dont know if you could have just fun dates with someone with different values and beliefs though.


I have. And could. I just wouldn't let it get serious, so it probably wouldn't last long.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Constable Odo said:


> sex?


OK good point. So, SMG is probably more into casual dating which leads to sex and is miffed that she might not have been since she asked those questions.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

SecondTime'Round said:


> OK good point. So, SMG is probably more into casual dating which leads to sex and is miffed that she might not have been since she asked those questions.


And yet, it's important if you're just looking for something casual to find someone else who's also just looking for that. Why generate grief and drama when all you wanted was to get laid? Much better to find someone who's also just looking to get laid. No drama, no hurt feelings, no pressure or issues.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
I dated a women in college for a while. We understood that we had very different life goals, but we had a fantastic time together. No hurt feelings when we broke up because I found someone who matched what I wanted long term. We are still in occasional contact - she found someone who was what she wanted. 




SecondTime'Round said:


> @SMG15, do you want kids/marriage someday?
> 
> If not, why would you even want to go on a date with someone who does?


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Rowan said:


> And yet, it's important if you're just looking for something casual to find someone else who's also just looking for that. Why generate grief and drama when all you wanted was to get laid? Much better to find someone who's also just looking to get laid. No drama, no hurt feelings, no pressure or issues.


I agree. So, SMG probably is more angered over the fact that she doesn't just want casual sex than the fact that she asked the questions she did.


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

SecondTime'Round said:


> OK good point. So, SMG is probably more into casual dating which leads to sex and is miffed that she might not have been since she asked those questions.


In SMGspeak:

If you ask me on our first date if I want kids
We will have no sex so I won't raid your fridge


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## thread the needle (May 4, 2015)

While I fully comprehend the distinctions between date types, it is my observation that casual, fun dating and having sex numerous times with someone you are not compatible with very often leads to problems because one or both develop feelings because of the intimacy and then you will have hurt feelings between "friends" or you're with someone that does not align with your life goals in other important areas and you will have somewhat at least wasted some time unintentionally getting invested with the wrong match. Despite it working for many, it still can be playing with fire. It is typically better to be more discerning to avoid the heartache. 

DISCLAIMER: I have had FWB and am aware of many others that were lovely without heartache. I am also well aware of others that ended with heartache and confusion despite the initial game plan. 

It is also worth noting that getting involved with someone on a casual basis conflicts with the startup phase of dating the right person. 
How often have we read here that a hurting spouse found out about a casual sexual activity with their current spouse that they were not aware of when they first started dating their spouse. There are plenty of scenarios where a loving relationship hits a big hurtful bump when FWBs and exes are found out about. 

I am not saying not to FWB or have casual sex. I am only suggesting that everyone consider the impact it can have in the future. 

Another example is the near obsession some have with how many partners their spouse had by comparison that they find exceedingly upsetting if known or speculated from bits and pieces of information trickling out. 

FWBs and casual sex only make these numbers more hurtful even if they were fun at the time

Peace


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Constable Odo said:


> In SMGspeak:
> 
> If you ask me on our first date if I want kids
> We will have no sex so I won't raid your fridge


And I will lock my phone in the closet for three days to punish you for your wicked ways, then possibly hit you with a cane if you ask me to walk you to the train.


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

SMG15 said:


> Guy from a dating because it screams desepration
> 
> 1. Do you want kids?
> 
> ...


I am concerned that you are not very good at meeting women and dating. 

Online dating is great for meeting people, but you will still be left with women not being co-operative. I suggest you find someone who will teach you how to do it. I actually wish I could help you in person. Accept this is a weakness and this is good news and you can improve your social skill and life will improve.


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## hotshotdot (Jul 28, 2015)

thread the needle said:


> While I fully comprehend the distinctions between date types, it is my observation that casual, fun dating and having sex numerous times with someone you are not compatible with very often leads to problems because one or both develop feelings because of the intimacy and then you will have hurt feelings between "friends" or you're with someone that does not align with your life goals in other important areas and you will have somewhat at least wasted some time unintentionally getting invested with the wrong match. Despite it working for many, it still can be playing with fire. It is typically better to be more discerning to avoid the heartache.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I have had FWB and am aware of many others that were lovely without heartache. I am also well aware of others that ended with heartache and confusion despite the initial game plan.
> 
> ...


Agree 100%! 

When I decided I was ready for a relationship (after a couple FWB & cougar fun), the best way I determined to sort out the relationship ready men from the others was simply to say (when the topic of sex came up) that I was not able to have casual sex because I knew that having sex with the same person repeatedly leads me to becoming attached & so I would only have sex if it became a serious relationship. There were some men who ran for the hills, or tried to say they didn't want to waste time if we weren't sexually compatible, and I was able to move on then. There were others who offered a commitment at that point. Then there was the one guy who simply said he respected my feelings and didn't offer anything more at that time but continued to set dates with me. That's the one I married. 

As it turns out, my boundaries saved us from the problem you describe. His ex-girlfriend kept trying to contact him while we were engaged & he wouldn't respond to her, so she decided to contact me to tell me she had sex with him while he was with me. I had suspected that he had kept her around for "ex-sex" (as I like to call an ex that after you've been broken up for a while you use as a FWB in between relationships) because they had broken up over 2 years before yet she still kept trying to contact him after he was engaged. So I asked him & he confirmed that was the case but after he started having feelings for me he never contacted her again. I am completely okay with it. Doesn't bother me in the slightest! Actually I'm glad he was having ex-sex instead of sleeping with someone else he was dating, a lot less competition. 

He didn't cheat on me, he wasn't with her while he was "with" me, he was dating me. Since he wasn't having sex with me until we had a commitment, he had every right to have sex with anyone he wanted (as could I) since there was no expectation of exclusivity at that point. In any case, I was able to shut her down real quick when I informed her that I truly could care less who he f&cked while we were dating because I wouldn't f&ck him until we were in a committed relationship. She didn't even reply, which confirms what hubby told me about him not contacting her after things started progressing with me (nice bonus!). She has yet to contact either one of us again. We have never had to discuss it again. Problem averted!


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

gouge_away said:


> SMG15
> Few easy questions...
> What do you do for a living?
> What kind of hobbies do you have?
> ...



state government
Blogging, researching
I collect old Newspapers and TV shows


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

Constable Odo said:


> The only question I require my daughters to ask on their first dates is:
> 
> "Are you SMG15 from TAM" ?
> 
> That way if the answer is "yes" they can politely excuse themselves to the exit.



Stop paying your internet bill


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

aine said:


> tbh, i think those questions are a little premature for a first date/convo? What ever happened to having a bit of fun and keeping it casual to begin with, that's the way it used to be, but what would i know that was a life time ago.


thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

Married but Happy said:


> If asked those questions, I'd answer honestly, but I'd also have a few of my own, such as their education, career achievements and current earnings, future career goals and where they see themselves in five years. May as well screen out those with incompatible goals right away and not waste time on just dating and enjoying that experience.



If a woman asked me those things I would have either hung up the phone or got up and left her sitting in the cafe


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> I think there are really two types of dates: fun dates and serious dates. (I want a better word than serious but can't come up with one).
> 
> To me a fun date is where the goal is to enjoy yourselves on that date. If you enjoy you plan future dates. In time those may develop into a long term relationship.
> ...



Well I am looking for a fun date


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

SMG15 said:


> state government
> Blogging, researching
> I collect old Newspapers and TV shows


What do you do for the state,
Finance?
Public services?
What is your field?

See, now you and I have something in common, all 3 of my questions involve media, my job, reading, and what I collect... So we have a common interest we could talk about for hours right off the bat. But I am still a bit interested in your job field, state government is too ambiguous.


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

gouge_away said:


> What do you do for the state,
> Finance?
> Public services?
> What is your field?
> ...


Public services/childcare eligibility


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

How long have you been collecting news papers, and do you have any important ones that highlight your collection?


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

gouge_away said:


> How long have you been collecting news papers, and do you have any important ones that highlight your collection?


About 10 years which are all related to TV


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

OK, when I do online dating, I look for women who enjoy reading, and have a favorite comic book hero. They don't need to geek out, but just be a fan. Dress up on Halloween, maybe even in the bedroom once in awhile, wear batman tees and undies.

SMG, there are women that might be interested in your hobbies, focus on women who love TV related trivia, maybe have your first date at a pubTrivia night!

I think you can really have an awesome first and second and 3rd date if you focus more on the common interests, and less on the differences you have with these dates.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
that's fine. Just let women know so that nether of you is wasting your time if you are looking for something completely different.




SMG15 said:


> Well I am looking for a fun date


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

gouge_away said:


> OK, when I do online dating, I look for women who enjoy reading, and have a favorite comic book hero. They don't need to geek out, but just be a fan. Dress up on Halloween, maybe even in the bedroom once in awhile, wear batman tees and undies.
> 
> SMG, there are women that might be interested in your hobbies, focus on women who love TV related trivia, maybe have your first date at a pubTrivia night!
> 
> I think you can really have an awesome first and second and 3rd date if you focus more on the common interests, and less on the differences you have with these dates.


It's hard finding a woman in philly interested in jazz, sports, tv shows, and collecting


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

SMG15 said:


> It's hard finding a woman in philly interested in jazz, sports, tv shows, and collecting


Bullsh¡t


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

SMG15 said:


> Well I am looking for a fun date


That must be a real disappointment then to your dates.


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

gouge_away said:


> Bullsh¡t


I'm serious, its very hard


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

It's hard because you are anti-social, with social issues. Nobody can fix that but you. And even you can't fix that without you going to a qualified therapist to learn just HOW you are butting heads with society and how to adjust for that.

There's an excellent book written by a man with Aspergers that you just might resonate with. It really falls in line with just about everything you come here with. I hope you will read it; it might help you to find the solution you're looking for:
http://www.amazon.com/The-Journal-Best-Practices-Marriage/dp/1439189749


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

SMG15 said:


> state government
> Blogging, researching
> I collect old Newspapers and TV shows


You will have conflicting advice on these things. Here is some advice I find useful. We are taught to find things in common, however, the superficial things are not interesting.

If a girl says, "I am going to Sweden on holiday this summer", the standard answer is.
"That's interesting, I have a friend in Sweden" or some other point of connection. That is terrible. It is not interesting in itself where she goes on holiday and relating it to yourself ruins any connection.
What is interesting is her motivation in life and her feelings and emotions. That is where you will make a deep connection. 
Ask her why Sweden (for example) and you will find out more. If she doing something not normal, if it is because she went there as a stucdent you learn that she is open to other cultures and retains a strong interest - an open minded and accepting woman. If it is because of family, you find out how important family and bonds are to her - interesting. Whatever reason, that is an insight into her soul that she would love to share with someone.
Forget standard conversational advice and invite her to tell you about her motives. 
Then you will find her emotions and passions and you both have emotions and passions. You emotions might be jazz, sports, TV shows and hers are something else, but you have a connection.


A second thing I have found useful, but this will perhaps be later. We all are guilty of projection, but it can be very useful for self awareness. Notice when you are angry and project and value the insight it reveals.


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

turnera said:


> It's hard because you are anti-social, with social issues. Nobody can fix that but you. And even you can't fix that without you going to a qualified therapist to learn just HOW you are butting heads with society and how to adjust for that.
> 
> There's an excellent book written by a man with Aspergers that you just might resonate with. It really falls in line with just about everything you come here with. I hope you will read it; it might help you to find the solution you're looking for:
> http://www.amazon.com/The-Journal-Best-Practices-Marriage/dp/1439189749


I am a big fan of Turnera. She has good advice without claiming it is anything but hard. I would recommend her advice.


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## depressedandexhausted (Aug 24, 2015)

SMG15 said:


> well a guy could lie and say he wants kids and married just so he can get the A$$


Something tells me, with her being this direct, she is not easily taken advantage of. She seems to know what she wants and is going for it. Good for her. I wish I knew her so she could teach me.


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

SMG15 said:


> Guy from a dating because it screams desepration
> 
> 1. Do you want kids?
> 
> ...


Last night, work brought me to San Jose. I was on my own in the hotel and decided to go out for a meal at a restaurant and then head back to the hotel. 
At the restaurant, I met a pretty young woman, who wants to get married and have kids some day. We agree to meet up next weekend. Back at the hotel, I met an older woman, in whom I had no romantic interest. She is happily married, but could not have children, but I heard about her sister's journey through faith and early demise.
They were not particularly desperate, but people want to speak to someone who will listen.


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

Mr The Other said:


> You will have conflicting advice on these things. Here is some advice I find useful. We are taught to find things in common, however, the superficial things are not interesting.
> 
> If a girl says, "I am going to Sweden on holiday this summer", the standard answer is.
> "That's interesting, I have a friend in Sweden" or some other point of connection. That is terrible. It is not interesting in itself where she goes on holiday and relating it to yourself ruins any connection.
> ...


I was getting more into smg's background and interests. His career and collection are rather telling. I actually assumed he collected newspapers when I asked the question.

Just on a hunch...


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## BioFury (Jul 9, 2015)

SMG15 said:


> Guy from a dating because it screams desepration
> 
> 1. Do you want kids?
> 
> ...


*sigh* This will be the last time I reply to your garbage. I'd ask all other TAM members to consider doing the same. My response:

You're an idiot. Those are two very pertinent questions. She just didn't count on men (like you) being lying sleazeballs.


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

gouge_away said:


> I was getting more into smg's background and interests. His career and collection are rather telling. I actually assumed he collected newspapers when I asked the question.
> 
> Just on a hunch...


I actually assumed he collected random body parts from his "dates" in tupperware in his fridge.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

gouge_away said:


> I was getting more into smg's background and interests. His career and collection are rather telling. *I actually assumed he collected newspapers when I asked the question.*
> 
> Just on a hunch...


I'm curious why you knew this?


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

SMG reminds me of somebody I know.


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