# my husband has profiles on dating sites



## frustratedmom (May 23, 2013)

I am so frustrated by my husband he keeps finding different dating sites and puts his profile on there. Most of them he says he is divorced. I thought I had put a stop to it but just recently he is doing it again. When I confront him about it he lies to me and says he didn't do it. And then he will tell me he didn't do anything wrong. I have warned him I am leaving if he does it again and just found out today that he did it again last night. I have 3 kids to think about which makes leaving even harder. My stomach is in knots all the time I just don't know what to do.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

See an attorney. Start making a plan. Figure out what you CAN do. 

Tell him if he wants to be single, this is his chance.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

So sorry to hear this happened.

You already know he continues to lie so what is your plan?

Get tested for STDs.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

First of all I am so sorry he's doing this to you. It sucks - i know.

Now, you are going to have to pull up your britches and start dishing out some consequences to him for his actions, otherwise why would he stop? You told him you'd leave if he did it again. Well, he did it again. Put your money where your mouth is and kick his ass out. Why should YOU leave? You didn't do anything wrong.

I also have three kids, and have left or licked out both of my husbands. First time the kids were 4 months, 2 years and 4 years old. I left with nothing but a couple of suitcases. We divorced. Second time was in 2010 when I kicked my current husband out for soliciting sex on hook up sites. We're reconciling. but only because *I* choose to.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Don't threaten. Act. 

If you keep threatening and don't act then you lose all credibility.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

If you told him you would leave, then leave. He needs to see the you are serious otherwise he will never stop.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

That's it. Actions speak louder than words. So show him. Just as he is showing you that his words are cheap cause he keeps doing the same thing over and over again.

I never understand folks who think i'ts totally "harmless" for a married person to be posting up profiles searching people out on dating websites.

I mean, the entire point of the website is for DATING. 
Sheesh.

Oh and every. single. person that gets caught out on a dating website has the same line "I didn't do anything/I never met up with anyone. It was a joke."

Hahahaha. Yeah, so funny I forgot to laugh.

My ex did this sh*t too. Unimpressed.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

mablenc said:


> If you told him you would leave, then leave. He needs to see the you are serious otherwise he will never stop.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


And even if she does leave, he may never stop. The behavior is on him.


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## frustratedmom (May 23, 2013)

Thanks I am planning on leaving him as soon as the kids are done with school, my family lives 100 miles away and that is where I am going to go. Then he can have all the women he wants. What makes me mad is when we got involved he preached to me about never cheating on him because his mom cheated on his dad and his ex wife cheated on him. And him doing these dating sites in a way is cheating on me.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Please don't wait that long, go to a hotel tonight. I'm not saying separate completely but, he needs to see actions now. Trust me it will make him snap back into reality.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Why are YOU leaving?!?! What did YOU do wrong? :scratchhead:


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

How do you know he isn't doing anything wrong? He lies to you. 

A gf of mine discovered her husband was out on these dating sites chatting and emailing other women. The bomb hit when her daughter walked into a restaurant, and saw her father (my gf's husband) sitting at the bar having a drink with another woman.

So, all his innocent online stuff ended with a hook-up with another gal.

Who's to say your husband hasn't started meeting some of these women in person? Do you know for sure he hasn't?

This behavior isn't sorta-kinda cheating. It IS cheating. If there was nothing wrong with it, he wouldn't be lying or hiding his behavior. He knows it is wrong.

If you make a threat, be prepared to follow through. I realize you are in a difficult position, with three children. But this man is not the type of role model you want your children to see.

Get a good family law attorney. Get your financial ducks in a row. Your husband sounds like a real jerk. You deserve better.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Hope1964 said:


> Why are YOU leaving?!?! What did YOU do wrong?


:iagree::iagree::iagree:


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## frustratedmom (May 23, 2013)

to Hope 1964 what has he done wrong. He keeps going on dating sites, if your married you should not be on dating sites looking for other women. Also he lies when I confront him about it and keeps changing his password because he don't want me to find out. I can't live with his lies anymore. If he got a chance to sleep with another woman I am sure he would do it without thinking twice about his kids or me.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

frustratedmom said:


> to Hope 1964 what has he done wrong. He keeps going on dating sites, if your married you should not be on dating sites looking for other women. Also he lies when I confront him about it and keeps changing his password because he don't want me to find out. I can't live with his lies anymore. If he got a chance to sleep with another woman I am sure he would do it without thinking twice about his kids or me.


I asked what YOU have done wrong and why YOU are leaving. My whole point is that HE is the one who royally screwed up here and HE should be the one leaving. not you!

Please read the links in my sig especially the newbie one and my story.


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## frustratedmom (May 23, 2013)

sorry I read it wrong


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Hope1964 said:


> Why are YOU leaving?!?! What did YOU do wrong? :scratchhead:


Ah, yes good point!! Yes, kick him out.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

Get the ball rolling with a separation. Call a lawyer or legal aide and see who will help you with legal expenses. You will need to sign papers that state who gets the house, cars, etc. 

He won't stop. He's not even showing signs that he will stop. You have to stick to your word and leave like you said you would or he will definitely play you like a fiddle for years to come. It's the only chance you have at this point to even having a marriage with a serial cheater.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

frustratedmom, I realize you are afraid and angry. However, at this point, let your anger be the catalyst that gets you to an attorney. You stay in the home with the children. Tell Mr. Hot-To-Trot to go live with one of his online babes. I'm not joking. If he's such a stud, he should have no problem finding a place to land.

I assume you are a SAHM. What did you do prior to marriage/having children? Even in this challenging economy, there ARE jobs. There are also some excellent non-profit organizations that can help you get training, if you need it. 

I assure you, there is a light at the end of your tunnel ... and it ain't a train!


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

SunnyT said:


> See an attorney. Start making a plan. Figure out what you CAN do.
> 
> Tell him if he wants to be single, this is his chance.


:iagree:

As you have three children, *HE *should be the one to leave. Speak to an attorney about this.

Stop giving him more chances to lie to you.


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## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

Prodigal said:


> frustratedmom, I realize you are afraid and angry. However, at this point, let your anger be the catalyst that gets you to an attorney. You stay in the home with the children. Tell Mr. Hot-To-Trot to go live with one of his online babes. I'm not joking. If he's such a stud, he should have no problem finding a place to land.
> 
> I assume you are a SAHM. What did you do prior to marriage/having children? Even in this challenging economy, there ARE jobs. There are also some excellent non-profit organizations that can help you get training, if you need it.
> 
> I assure you, there is a light at the end of your tunnel ... and it ain't a train!


I agree with this. You have to literally do this and tell him you don't want him anymore. Tell him that because of what he's been doing behind your back you don't even know if you love him anymore. That will hit him hard


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