# Curious



## solvency7 (Jun 15, 2013)

I lied recently about something. Not affair don't worry! Lol. Now she got mad. Took her rings off for a few days. Shes now got her wedding ring on thankfully but not engagement or eternity. Seems weird to me. Anyone else encountered this? She doesn't want to leave me. Believe if she did I'd already be out the door

Just weird to me is all


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## jdd (Aug 30, 2013)

solvency7 said:


> I lied recently about something. Not affair don't worry! Lol. Now she got mad. Took her rings off for a few days. Shes now got her wedding ring on thankfully but not engagement or eternity. Seems weird to me. Anyone else encountered this? She doesn't want to leave me. Believe if she did I'd already be out the door
> 
> Just weird to me is all


What did you lie about?

Why?

Hopefully you will tell us you lied to keep her birthday present a secret.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

My x2 would take a piece of jewelry off like that when she was angry. Later, I found out she would stomp them until they were smashed and stones fell out or maybe she ran over them with her car? Whatever, they were a mess. I don't have much money. When I bought them, I had to scrimp and save to get them. I had to get the store to hold them for me with a down payment and a end date to pick up. I had to volunteer for overtime and save that for the payments. 

It could be a number of reasons. This was only my experience.


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

sound like a bit of childishness on both ends

if she keeps the engage and eternity rings off a couple more days

take them to a pawn shop, show her the ticket when she asks

where they are. I admit everyone will tell a lie to avoid 

unneeded hardship (ex-as kids we are told to tell everyone

we love their gifts, even if we hate them) but playing these

teenage games is BS. Rugsweeping 101


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

It all depends what you lied about. For all we know she's not reacting harshly enough. There are worse things in the world than cheating.


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## cons (Aug 13, 2013)

Yes- it's very difficult to know whether her reaction was in a healthy context because we don't have an understanding of what she reacted to.

I agree with sinnister....there are worse things in the world than cheating....


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

why are you lying to your wife?

is she unreasonable about things so you lie to her to keep the peice?

or do you just think lying is ok between a husband and wife?


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

More of us would love to give our 2 cents, but we need to know what the lie is about, so we could better deem if she was out of line or justified in her anger.


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## solvency7 (Jun 15, 2013)

No its fine now. She got them on literally today. The lie itself was just about trouble at work was all


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

You're "trickle truthing" us.


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## cons (Aug 13, 2013)

It's fine for now? because she's wearing her rings again? 

Lather/Rinse/Repeat...

As time passes and there are more and more of these situations/reactions under your belt, it will be MUCH more difficult for both you and your wife to overcome...

...sounds like there still needs to be some communication around this situation to nip it in the bud


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

What did you lie about and why? Do you do this often?

If my SO lied to me, it would make me wonder what else he's lied / is lying to me about.


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

keep in mind, this is an anon board

you could have been eyeballing the new gal in her tight skirt

bending over at the copy machine and she went to your boss

and you were undressed about it..... somehow your W found out...

nobody's perfect..... there are many people here to help

but don't blow smoke up our a$$es


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

Midwest Guy said:


> :smthumbup:Hey, let me guess...You told her you had a big penis...


:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


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## Applejuice (Feb 21, 2014)

Midwest Guy said:


> :smthumbup:Hey, let me guess...You told her you had a big penis...


hahaha.. now that's below the belt!

bad-dum-bum-tsshh

..thank you, I'll be here all week!


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## solvency7 (Jun 15, 2013)

No the penis thing is the truth. As for the nip in the bud. Ive done this. As for lieing in general. I'm an open book. This was to do with work giving me ****. I didn't so much lie just kept information to myself


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## Applejuice (Feb 21, 2014)

I agree, I consider myself a reasonably principled man but sometimes a white lie can be quite altruistic.

e.g. "I am just going outside and may be some time." -Captain Lawrence Oates


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Sometimes the lies that hurt the most, are the ones we never tell.


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## Jimena (May 28, 2012)

Taking off rings is a poor attempt at communication, don't let her get away with using it as a means to get to you.
I knew a woman who was so mad that her husband never wore his ring (he's from Ghana or something where they don't really give two ****s about it) that after something like a year of complaining, she took off her ring in protest and refuses to put it back on until he wears his. 
Currently, neither is wearing rings.


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## solvency7 (Jun 15, 2013)

I don't know. I mean I'm male but still consider rings to mean something. As of now ages still only wearing her wedding ring. She simply won't engage in 'us' if you know what I mean. Very weird. Every chance she has tries putting me down I'm not a boo hoo I can take it lol. Moines perfect though everyone makes mistakes.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## solvency7 (Jun 15, 2013)

Nobody's perfect not monies lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

What did you lie about?


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## solvency7 (Jun 15, 2013)

A situation at work. I didn't lie so much just withheld information. They were being to put it a better word prats
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Although her response was childish, I would be pretty pissed if my spouse didn't share stuff going on in their life including work.

Have you had issues at work before? Have you been reprimanded for something and didn't want to tell her? Would any changes at work affect her at all - schedule, salary, lay-offs or potential to lose your job? Was a female she believes to flirt with you put in your department or a position of authority?

Any of those things not being mentioned would tick me off. Is there a history of your withholding information? I don't know if it's auto-correct or maybe English isn't your first language but your last sentence makes no sense.

Did you avoid telling her because you feared her reaction? It's best to be honest and deal with her reaction including discussing an inappropriate reaction or response from her. How else can you keep trust and develop a better way to handle/resolve problems?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

You are still being vague and cryptic and without knowing what specifically you lied about, it's hard to assess.


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## solvency7 (Jun 15, 2013)

I'm on my phone. Basically work kept sending me doing jobs I wasn't employed to do. I got ticked off. They gave me a warning. I transferred into a different department called in sick one day then got sacked. The issue being she went all out on my behalf. I didn't tell her about the warning etc. So I'm the first one to agree on she should be angry. I just don't see it as bad as she does its perspective I guess. I totally understand where she is.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

this brings up a very good question.............

do you tell your spouse everything....100%?

I do not know any that do.....

if I had a spat at work, I would say "trouble at work

they're imbeciles....." and leave it at that


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## solvency7 (Jun 15, 2013)

And yep I did not tell her about the warning due to me finding it unfounded and she's not easy to tell things like that without her getting stressed. Should of manned up but I didn't so I'm hindsight bad call
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## solvency7 (Jun 15, 2013)

And I do tell her most things. It's only a rare occasion I don't think it needed. Very rare.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Maybe you should tell her you would have told her about the warning but you feel you can't be open because she goes ballistic and that from now on you would really appreciate it if she paused for one minute to absorb what you are sharing, calm down and think about her response before she replies to you.

But it also doesn't sound like you handled the job situation very well and it would stress me out if my spouse lost his job. It was quite common with my ex - he couldn't work for anyone else because every else was always wrong. Finally he had to work for himself. Much better for him since he didn't play well with others.


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

many times people feel if the strife at work was worth mentioning

the other would share it. I worked with special needs children and

adults and the ratio of females to males were usually 5/1

my X never asked me to go into detail unless I felt it should

she said "if you told me everything we'd be up to 2AM"


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## solvency7 (Jun 15, 2013)

I work well with others. I work hard. I went out the next day and got a new job. This company though we're just a joke
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## solvency7 (Jun 15, 2013)

I mentioned the problems a few times. Got the warning. Then bucked up my ideas then changed department for that reason to keep my job! Now obviously didn't play out well
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Then she is being petty and passive aggressive and needs to learn to listen and not react until she has absorbed the information.

Personally I would have listened and asked questions to clarify (like I did here) and then the discussion would start with my empathy for the situation you found yourself in followed by 'where do we go from here'. As in, how long can we manage financially, will you start looking for a new job tomorrow, etc. 

If her first reaction is to blow a fuse and fling off her rings, she needs to learn better coping skills.


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## roostr (Oct 20, 2012)

People dont take their rings off for trivial stuff. It is usually something huge in the marraige.


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## solvency7 (Jun 15, 2013)

Well yeah first night went mental. Started throwing arms about. She's always been fairly highly strung though. Yeah well keeps her rings off for too long I'm going to start getting a bit pissed. I'm keeping a lid on it at the moment due to being in the wrong
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jimena (May 28, 2012)

So, you got yourself fired. You knew there was a good chance you'd lose you job and did not tell your wife about it. She was caught off guard completely about it, and this economy is pretty stingy with jobs. I don't care if you did get a job the next day. I think she has plenty reason to be angry, albeit passive-aggressively. 
Seems like you both have communication issues.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Jimena said:


> So, you got yourself fired. You knew there was a good chance you'd lose you job and did not tell your wife about it. She was caught off guard completely about it, and this economy is pretty stingy with jobs. I don't care if you did get a job the next day. I think she has plenty reason to be angry, albeit passive-aggressively.
> Seems like you both have communication issues.


:iagree:

How about stop lying and tell your wife to stop taking off her ring.


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## cons (Aug 13, 2013)

You said "she went all out on [your] behalf"....does that mean she tried to defend you to your boss to give you your job back?

Yet, she wasn't aware that you were given a warning, which obviously change the grounds she stood on in defending you.

Perhaps she felt you allowed her to look like a fool.


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