# Ugh....the ex....what to do?



## raising5boyz (Nov 8, 2008)

So....a lil history....then you can give advice, or tell me to chill....or whatever. lol

Last year, around this time, I decided I wanted to move to attend college. It was a move of five hours from my ex's. The father of my four kids was in full support. However the father of my youngest decided to fight me in court in attempt to get the judge to order me not to move. It was very stressful for me, but I won and moved. We also fought and fought over visitation....I gave in more than I should have perhaps. However, after all the stress and agravation, my ex has only seen his son twice since we moved. He has not seen his son since April, even when I brought him within an hour of his house and offered a visit then. 

Now....today is my lil guys b-day. I have not heard anything in six weeks from his dad. He texts today and asked to talk to my son. I allow it. Then as normal we talk for a few. He still has no job....but has a phone now at least (probably his gf's). The thing that makes me mad....he is living in Las Vegas. Yep, he moved. No proper court notice, no anything. He has been living there 2 to 3 weeks.... Im just pissed about it! After he fought and fought me about moving over here! I feel like taking him to court about it. That, and the lack of visits.....both are considered contempt. Or I could just ignore it. He had the nerve to mention maybe taking Nate down to Vegas for Christmas break....I'm thinking Hell no! Maybe I am wrong. 

My ex has a history of living in very slum like places. Or with people who I don't want my son around (recovering addicts, felons right out of prison, etc.) 

Ugh...he aggravates me!

I guess the question is....take him to court? Chill? Expect he will flake and not worry about it? Let my son go if he does come through with taking him to Vegas? 
.


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## Dadof3 (Mar 14, 2011)

I think as a matter of principal, you should move legally to pull back to full custody of your son. I'm not a legal eagle, but I would be included to believe that the courts would regard inaction as approval of situation, despite court order (although they may still give him a light slap on the hand).


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## raising5boyz (Nov 8, 2008)

I think you are right. Don't know how I will serve him with court papers though? I know he won't give me his current address. He wouldn't even give me his new address when he moved in WA. Said there was no reason for me to have it. :\ 

I just wish he would put his sons best interest first for once. 

On a side note....his 22 yo girlfriend is supporting his 36 yo unemployed butt. I find it amusing and wonder how long till she gets fed up with it. lol Maturity wise I think they might be a perfect match!


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

raising5boyz said:


> I think you are right. Don't know how I will serve him with court papers though? I know he won't give me his current address. He wouldn't even give me his new address when he moved in WA. Said there was no reason for me to have it. :\
> 
> I just wish he would put his sons best interest first for once.
> 
> On a side note....his 22 yo girlfriend is supporting his 36 yo unemployed butt. I find it amusing and wonder how long till she gets fed up with it. lol Maturity wise I think they might be a perfect match!


my ex is 35 (will be 36 in a few months) and he is living with his 22 year old GF, and she's working 3 jobs to support his dumb ass.
But, as long as you share custody and he has visitation, you have every legal right to his address.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Personally, this guy sounds like a scumbag. If you want to go to court to get full custody of your son so he isn't exposed to his father's seedy, erratic lifestyle then I'm all for. 

OTOH, to take him to court as a vengeful move? Yeah, he was an asshat to you but to be the same to him out of spite? Don't see the point in wasting precious time and resources. 

So I'm all for getting him out of your son's life because he's a poor role model for your son. However, if he's not giving you his address then that alone is pretty much doing what you want so I'd let it be and just cut him off. Next move would be his. I wouldn't like the idea of my son being exposed to the type of people you describe and I think any court would take that into consideration. 

I'm into walking away from toxic people. Like I tell my kids "If you step in dog poop, you don't continue to smell it or pick at it, you wipe it off and keep walking."


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## raising5boyz (Nov 8, 2008)

When he fought me in court to move across the state, the judge ripped into him hard....if we had the same judge again this time around I can only imagine the outcome! lol But, I have moved so new county, new court. 

Really debating court action, however, since he chose to move and not give notice, didn't he kind of make that old parenting plan null and void? The purpose of giving notice of a move through the court is to reconfirm the original parenting plan or adjust it as needed....correct? Maybe I will just leave things as they are....I think he kinda just hung himself!


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