# Should I continue dating this woman?



## lone and cautious (Jul 29, 2013)

Not sure if this is the right place to ask this question, so if any moderator feels that it should be moved to the proper thread area please do so. I also don't know how much details Is should give, so forgive me if my background story is a bit excessive so be prepared....

Anyway, I'm 25, male, and divorced. Haven't talked to my ex-wife except once since our divorce was final ( it was about a dvd of mine that she accidentally took and wanted to know if I still wanted that ). Other than that, zilch, nada. Reasons we divorced was because she was a Dependasaurous Rex. 

Wouldn't work, hardly cleaned, was often distance, hated my parents despite being more supportive than any of her family has ever been in her ENITRE life! Sex was awful which I won't even bother going into that. At one point of being miserable and getting yelled at, I divorced her. Having learned what I want in a woman now and knowing I can do better has given me a template for what to look for but unfortunately I think I might be potentially making the same mistake again.

I'm currently dating this woman who is exactly 5 months older than me and it pretty nice and easy to get along with. She has Tunrer's syndrome and is epileptic. She's made it very clear she wants to get married and it's the main goal in her life now. She is diabled and cannot drive at the moment nor have a job because of supposed learning disabilities. 

In our state, a person with epilepsy can get a drivers license as long as they haven't had one in 6 months and on medication ( she's met both of those, been 9 months since she's had her last one ). She refuses to drive out of fear of having an accident and killing someone. Naturally, I've noticed this will make a lot fall on me to be a provider. i never minded doing everything as long as I got a wife who cooked and cleaned and had sex with me. ( more about this later ).

We have some similar interests, and overall I like being around her. But the problem I have and still struggle with is that she talks to her exes quite regularly. 

1st ex: She dated him pretty much all her high school years ( 4 years to be exact ) and claims to have fooled around with, but not had sex with ( she claims to be a virgin, don't know if she's lying ). This guy is the epitome of loser, became an addict and is still on a methadone treatment. Works for dollar general. She talks with him everynow and then, claims it's nothing more than talking about similar interests ( wrestling, movies, etc ). I'm very weary of this guy, I just have a feeling that he still cares for her. I've talked to him before about a past event where she and a lesbian friend kissed each other. 

One of my deal breakers is that if a woman has any lesbian past ( fooled around, dated, sex etc ) then I will not date them or get involved (Ex-wife was a lesbian and I think that may have accounted for our intimacy problems). Anyway, I asked her about this after we decided to date and she reluctantly told me this. I messaged her ex and he immediately went straight to her and told me what I was asking him.

She supposedly told him to "tell me the truth" then he messaged me saying that it happened long ago and when they were dumb kids and it didn't go more than a kiss. He said it bothered him but he got over it and said to me "had I not messed up with drugs, she and I might still be together". That phrase raised nothing but red flags with me as I saw it as an emotional attachment. I've told her again and again I'm not comfortable with this but she told me they have a brother sister relationship and it's nothing more, doesn't believe in getting back with exes, and that they don't talk all the time.

Well, he's twice gotten uppity with her over the phone. On our second date, he tried calling her and when she didn't answer him back, he called her again and got all pissy and brought up past events they had. ( she cheated on him by giving a bj for money to someone she used to work for, claims it was a one time thing only ). 

Second time, he called her to tell her that he supposedly got a gf ( I'm friends with him on FB and I don't see one on there ) and she said I don't want to talk about relationships with us. He got mopey and hung up supposedly. She told me all this over the phone and said she just wanted to be transparent but made it clear she will not stop talking to him no matter what and that she won't cut someone out of her life that's supposedly been there for her and had a connection with.

3rd time, he called her when we were in Florida going to Disney World for vacation before I deployed with my sister and I ( which I am right now ). The thing is, he knew she was down there with me, and still called anyway and right in front of me and my family! She told him she'd call him later when she got back because she was still in Florida. She claimed he didn't know we were still there but I think that's a load of s*&#! Am I being paranoid about that?

This part scares me, because it screams that no matter what, even if we are married, she wouldn't get rid of him as a friend because he's that important. She said she doesn't call/text him everyday and only like twice a week at the most. But it's just so regular and I can't help but feel it's very emotional there.

2nd ex: She claims he really isn't an ex and that they have never taken it to an official level, or even met for that matter. She told me they met on a dating sight and talked but it never went into anything more than friends. Same old thing, just friends etc, but how I found out about him was very off putting. She tried to send me a text before we got into a relationship and a picture of her dog but she sent it to both us by accident.

Curious as to who this was, the guy sent me a text asking who I am. I told him and he didn't text back. I asked who this guy was and she sent a panicky text saying," I'm sorry I don't know what happened!" Now I'm getting very scared that she was already in a relationship and was caught red handed. I tried to call the guy but he didn't answer but texted me after about 20 minutes saying they were just friends.

We ( her and I ) talked that night for 5 hours straight going over exes, and she told me her side of the story. She said they had met on a dating site blah blah, and that they are just friends, etc and that she could never do that me. A week later went go official, FB and all. 

2nd scare: When we were in florida, he texted her a little bit and she had no problem texting him back ( right in front of me while we went into the car! ). When we got back from going to a museum, he phone started acting up and she was getting upset saying ther phone was messing up when he tried to send her a picture ( it was some football stadium ) but her getting upset made me wonder heavily if it was really because of her phone or that she couldn't text him back. 

What really irks me is that she won't let her 1st ex call or text her while we are on a date but she has no problem texting this guy? :scratchhead: With me right there?  and another thing is her grandmother didn't even know who he was until she mentioned him in front of her and told him that he was just a friend. 

*note* She lives about 2 hours away from me and I'll spend the night at her gma's house since she won't let me stay with her to prevent anything inappropriate from happening.

I'm still very weary about this guy and his FB profile is only viewable to friends only. I was able to see it once since she doesn't have a computer of her own, just an old samsung phone that she hardly ever seems to let go. She left her FB logged in once and I saw his profile, works at walmart, single, and has the most boring posts ever. I exed it out because I didn't want to snoop any further but found out that she watches porn and has used her gma's computer for it twice. I asked her about this and she said yes but very reluctantly. I do to and I tried to reassure her to not let her be embarrased and it helped a bit but moving on.

I used this opportunity to to let my mom get to know her and she said "she's nice and caring for you but I don't think she's the one for you, she's a nicer version of your exwife".

This bummed me out a bit and I tried to break up with her after we got back and she got upset and said I couldn't do that to her and I confronted her about my concerns and reassured me that we could make it work, and that I have nothing to worry about. My mom was not happy because she thought I was making a mistake primarily because she can't drive and that she got annoying a bit since she can't follow conversations very well.

She'll talk about a subject and go over it several times and got back to it when others try to move away from it. I've talked to her about the driving part and I told her that if she wanted to make it work as far as a marriage would go, she would have to get her license back with the caveat that she only drive to maintain practice in a secure spot and nothing else except emergencies. I figured that this would be a good compromise since she didn't want to crash and hurt anybody. She agreed to do that if we got engaged and I told my mom about this. This pleased my mom and she said," well she just got more points with me."

After marrying me ex, I take my parents opinion very seriously but I'm still kinda wary about all this so I'll list my last concern which is of the sex dept.

She doesn't believe in sex before marriage but has fooled around in the past. Fooling around for her counts as oral, handjobs, and groping with kissing. I'm a little pissed that she won't do any of this with me but did it for he 1st ex and with a guy from her old church one time that she brought to her house. 

She said one thing led to another with the church guy but stopped if after that one time because to her "normal guys don't act that way." and she won't do that to me because I'm "special" :scratchhead: I honestly think she tried to rope him into a relationship and that it didn't work, and thus won't do it again.

I'm miffed because here I am spending all this time and money, and she won't even french kiss me. Oh and she did that with her most recent ex ( who she doesn't keep in contact ). I feel I'm "special" enough to just get pecks and hugs while all these guys got to get an appetizer, assuming she's telling the truth about being a virgin. I had to beg her to leg me grab her butt and she reluctantly let me do that once.

Hell, she won't even send me a photo of her posing in shirt and panties for me. 

Other than that, she's been really supportive of me being deployed and we talk regularly. She's given me the most affection I've had so far but I'm worried about whether I should continue this. She's made it clear she wants this to work out long term to marriage and has said that if we are married she'd do what it takes to make me happy, both sexually and emotionally. But I'm afraid she will renege on all of those and give me hardly any sex ( she doesn't like oral a lot because it supposedly makes her feel dirty and will only do it if it's in a "romantic" setting ). I kinda feel like I'm the bigger better deal and that I'm not going to get much out of this unless I buy the whole package with no samples involved.

I just don't know why these guys got that and not me. I feel like I'm going to be the main provider once more with hardly anything in return with her talking to her exes and with nothing to do except talk to them while I work ( she's disabled and on welfare ).

Should I keep this going on with her? I don't want to make a mistake of contunuing to date her and marry her and get shafted. But on the other hand, I don't want to pass on a woman who is telling the truth about her exes, is really willing to do all that I want/need from wife ( affection/sex, honesty/integrity, and compromise ). As far as I can tell she's telling the truth but the exes bug me, and so does my worry about her attitude of sexual activities in general. It kinda seems she wants it, but just not with me. I don't know, I'm undecided and need help. Advice? Thoughts? Sorry for the wall of text but I need your opinions. If you need more details let me know.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Dude, if you feel you have to write a book about the problems in this relationship, then my advice is NO, you should NOT be dating this woman.

From skimming your post I think you have a bit of growing up yourself to do too.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Agreed. Do not date her, and get some life and dating experience before commiting to anyone.


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## U.E. McGill (Nov 27, 2013)

I can't read all this. But 2 paragraphs in I have the gist. 

I can tell you this. Broken people end up with broken people. There's no such thing as "he was the normal one, she was dysfunctional"

You my friend are a "fixer". You need girls that need saving. Your ex. Now you've got a girl who is your ex... Part II. 

Ask yourself "why do I keep getting involved with women who need saving? What is about myself that I don't feel worthy of a normal relationship?"


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Relationship with ex's......RED FLAG

Disability.......RED FLAG

Unless you are simply looking to replace one girl that wants complete support with another?

Move on.....

Also, stop talking to your ex all together (block her etc). No contact AT ALL, EVER.

Don't be or become like your current girl.....your ex will try to reel you back in (you know that). 

I think you should take some time off, learn from your mistakes in marriage and also what made you even peruse relationship with the person you are with right now.

Clearly, you have some issue (some call it white knight syndrome)......learn to avoid people that will take your kindness/niceness for granted and use you.

You will have to be nasty and say no at times. But those that use good/nice people are usually the worse kind.

I would never EVER date a girl/woman that has relationship with their ex unless they have children. Matter a fact, I would never date a woman that has friendships with male friends.

I just don't believe in male/female friendships. I've seen WAY too many in my life to believe that they are not based on attraction.......which is and should be completely natural.

Break it off, take some time off and when you think you are ready start dating away. Take it slow and easy, don't commit with first person that comes your way......keep options open and learn how healthy/good relationship should function.

good luck


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I'm with the others. This has bad news written all over it, on her side and yours. 

And seriously? She gave a BJ for money but doesn't want to French kiss you? 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

I only read about half of that, but my answer is still "no". She doesn't seem to be relationship material. You don't seem to be emotionally healthy enough to make for good relationship material either. Break up with her. Do some work on yourself. Try again later with a compatible woman.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

PBear said:


> She gave a BJ for money but doesn't want to French kiss you?


Cripes, I missed that part. wtf. And she says she's a virgin?


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

PBear said:


> I'm with the others. This has bad news written all over it, on her side and yours.
> 
> And seriously? She gave a BJ for money but doesn't want to French kiss you?
> 
> ...


Exactly! Run Forrest Run!!!!


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

do you know anything about Turners syndrome? Look it up. If you are planning to marry her find out everything you can about her condition and decide what you want in your life. 

Do you want children? How interested is she in sex and is she taking hormonal supplements.


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## Thebes (Apr 10, 2013)

I have to agree with the others, break if off.


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## Nikita2270 (Mar 22, 2014)

To answer your question...no you shouldn't continue dating her.

And just for future reference, anytime you have to write a post that long, that weird, and to that level of very strange detail about any woman....you shouldn't date them either.


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## 101Abn (Jan 15, 2014)

If I was you I'm would reread what you wrote.the answer you are looking for isherh in your thread.This is bad,bad,bad.If I was you I would run for hthe hills,fast.If you marry her you will be just changing first wife for a second wife of the same type.You should dump her and try to pick a little better next time.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Exactly! Run Forrest Run!!!!


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## lone and cautious (Jul 29, 2013)

Hope1964 said:


> Dude, if you feel you have to write a book about the problems in this relationship, then my advice is NO, you should NOT be dating this woman.
> 
> From skimming your post I think you have a bit of growing up yourself to do too.


Can you explain a bit more about the growing up part? If I'm to "grow up" I kinda need to know what you mean.

And Rowan, how am I not emotional healthy? Can you explain? If I'm to better myself I need to know specifically.

To Catherine602, yes I know what turner's syndrome is. She told me about it and no she is not taking hormonal supplements at the moment. She said she is interested in sex as I found out by accident she looks at porn. She's done things with her ex but claims to be "virgin". Meaning no vagina, anal sex, but she doesn't consider oral to be sex. 

And yes I do want children. I'm open to adoption but it's not the first option I'd like to take. And as for the bj for money, she said it was a long time ago when she was in high school and that she has grown up and learned her lesson.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

RUN TO THE NEAREST EXIT.

I don't care about her disability or that she wants to be a stay at home wife.

What raises alarm bells for me is her promiscuity and friendships with exes. There's no need for it.

Break it off and find a good woman, you can do better than this


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How long have you been divorced?

I find it odd that the bj for money does not seem to bother you very much. This is a huge red flag.

She says that all she will do is bj's but she does not like them. They make her feel dirty. Well if you marry her you will never get bj's. You probably won't get much sex either. She's 25 and has made a sport out of avoiding sex, she even trades something she does not like, bjs, so she can avoid sex.

Her relationship with her ex's are bothersome too. While I don't always have an issue with having contact with ex's, her relationship with them is too much a part of her life.

She has a learning disability and epilepsy. She will be super dependent on you. Is this who you want for the mother of your children? Are her health problems genetic? Sounds like they might be.

You can do better. A lot better.


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## Ripper (Apr 1, 2014)

I think the verdict is in: Leave her.

Time to crack some books. No More Mister Nice Guy and Married Man's Sex Life Primer. Also browse some internet "man" sites. (PUA, Redpill, etc) You don't have to agree with anything the do or say, but the different outlook might help you shake off the provider/doormat persona.


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## Unique Username (Jul 6, 2013)

You mentioned leaving for deployment

GREAT opportunity to break all ties with her

Here's the thing - You haven't figured out what you did to screw up your first marriage/relationship. Meaning, you own some parts to it's demise - no matter how nasty/mean/revengeful/abusive/untrustworthy/whatever the other person was in your marriage you need to figure out what things YOU did or didn't do...to grow and to learn from it why it failed, what you want and what you don't.

Your comparisons of this nutjob with the ex-wife proves that you haven't had enough time to process those things you need to process/work-through...you are comparing apples to oranges....yep they are fruit but very different.


Since you escaped a loathesome marriage, and you are still very young....don't jump from the fire into the frying pan by staying with this chick 

You are DATING so this means you actually get to CHOOSE which people, what kinds of people you wish to have in your life

so - this means you can choose to have someone that doesn't have a lot of medical and mental issues

PEOPLE TELL YOU WHO THEY ARE YOU HAVE TO LISTEN
she said her goal is to get married - yeah so she can be taken care of....she is looking for a meal ticket
she is a "virgin" but watches porn and gives BJs for cash

seriously? Since you mentioned deployment then you are in the military - so isn't there some older dude you admire/respect that you could talk about this with? Maybe even the Chaplain?


Things are less than ideal now - how do think they will end up with this one?

And you are going to have to get over thinking that a woman is unworthy if she had any sexual experimentation with another woman....as it is a lot more common in your age group than you may be aware. 

Anyway - logical thinking would direct you toward leaving this woman as soon as you possibly can....date a lot of different women and see what you really like. Right now your picker is off...I wouldn't make any commitments until you figure out how to pick normal, healthy women with the qualities you really want.


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## WallaceBea (Apr 7, 2014)

Get out, now. 

Your post contains so many red flags, I don't even know where to begin! 

Go find a girl with her **** together, who doesn't have any ex drama bull****. 

IMO, it is okay to be cordial with an ex, but I think she is taking it to another level. Also, the fact that you aren't allowed to stay with her because she is worried something will happen, is a straight out disrespect to you, and makes me think she has someone else spending the night with her..


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Hi lone and cautious,

No, you Shouldn't continue dating this woman!

Best.


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

Give yourself a gift of freedom from this Girl. You will never regret it. Break it off, don't apologize. Make the decision clean and move on. Then study bout healthier relationships. Co-dependency No More is a good one.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

lone and cautious said:


> And Rowan, how am I not emotional healthy? Can you explain? If I'm to better myself I need to know specifically.


I can help you here a bit....

Write down a list of things that you would REQUIRE in a woman. Things that you have to have or it's a deal breaker. Follow these rules!!!

Then write down a list of "nice to haves". Not deal breakers but things that would be nice.

DO NOT take this to the extreme. Just a reference. Remember, there is NO perfect person out there, EVER.

As you date and get to know women, go over the list and see how many of the things on it they meet. This will take time to get to know them of course so don't go over the list after 1st date......as you date more/get to know them more.

Remember, what you see is what you get. You should never have to change someone....or save someone.....as much as you might want to, you shouldn't.

Think long term. Not 2-5 years.....10-20 or 30 years. 

What kind of effect will this girls disease have on you. What kind of effect will this girls disability have on your finances or ability to raise children etc etc.

But first, take a good look in the mirror and learn from your past. You need to figure out what you did wrong exactly and make sure it never happens again. Just by your post, we were already able to point out # of issues with you. Focus on those. 

We are not trying to be *******s to you and make you feel like crap.

We are simply trying to help you.



lone and cautious said:


> To Catherine602, yes I know what turner's syndrome is. She told me about it and no she is not taking hormonal supplements at the moment. She said she is interested in sex as I found out by accident she looks at porn. She's done things with her ex but claims to be "virgin". Meaning no vagina, anal sex, but she doesn't consider oral to be sex.


I'm sorry, this is WAY too good to be true. There is no way in hell she was married and didn't have sex.

That's just crazy. 

Besides, let's assume it is true. Would you really want to be with a woman that was married and didn't have sex? That's a indicator or HORRIBLE intimacy and 0 sexual involvement during relationship/marriage.

PROCESS EVERYTHING THAT COMES YOUR WAY FROM THE OTHER PERSON. 

In her mind, what she is saying to you is "I'm innocent and saved myself for you"

In your mind, rather than think "ohh that's amazing" you should really be thinking > refer to "besides let's assume it is true" paragraph above.



lone and cautious said:


> And yes I do want children. I'm open to adoption but it's not the first option I'd like to take. And as for the bj for money, she said it was a long time ago when she was in high school and that she has grown up and learned her lesson.


And that's fine, things done while in teenage years should be forgotten'/dismissed.

HOWEVER, her sharing that info is concerning.....no woman should EVER share her past. NOTHING good EVER comes of that.

Rule of thumb:
From a man stand point - don't EVER ask
For woman - don't talk about it


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

She brings nothing to the table. Do you not value yourself?

If this is the life you want to lead, then marry her. Highlights of the next 50 years of your life:
-- No good sex
-- She lies to you
-- Ex boyfriends in her life
-- You do all the working, driving, child rearing and hard stuff

Plus, top it off with I would bet you $1M that she is not a virgin. Ask her to take a lie detector test. 

But I would recommend you dump her and find someone new.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

No, of course not.
All that support you mentioned that your family gave your first wife?
Ask them to give it to you, plus some extra.
Stay single and enjoy exploring different relationships until you don't need to ask so many questions about the person you want to commit to.


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## lone and cautious (Jul 29, 2013)

Well it's done. After taking all this advice, I changed my FB status to single and sent her an email explaining why I'm breaking up with her. I blocked her number as I know it's going to get lit up with pleading messages. I feel like crap, but I know it's for the best.

DOF: She was never married but was with her first ex bf for 4 years and then broke up because he was a addict. But she said to me that since she was with him so long, she doesn't want to lose her friendship with him and would never let go of him. Don't know why she told me that past of her exes, I didn't even ask about it. And thanks for that advice! I'm going to save this for a good reference.

And you are right, I doubt she is a virgin, even in her own definition of what a virgin is. I told her I didn't care if she wasn't but she still said that to me.

Unique Username: Sorry, but I won't budge on that. My ex wife was a lesbian in her much younger years, and I'm pretty sure it affected our sex life. I don't condone or approve of homosexuality and the thought of someone I'm with that's been a woman just grosses me out. Call it bigoted, juvenile etc, but I won't change my viewpoint on that. I don't want the risk of a gf or wife cheating on me with a woman. That would be worse than being cheated with a man.

Ashalicious: I know, it really pissed me off that she didn't want me to alone around here in her apartment, but would let others in the past do so. I think she pretty much just wanted time to talk with exes uninhibited.

Blossom Leigh: Did it. Won't even look for her response. She should figure it out soon when she sees my post and looks at my email.

Personal: It's already done. Thanks!

EleGirl: Divorced since July 15th 2013. The bj for money thing really bothered me but I thought that since it's in the past from high school, I thought "okay, she's learned and grown up." But it irked me that she wouldn't do that with me since I'm so "special".

Hicks: Yeah, I don't want that. She's gone now.

Thanks guys! You've been a big help. I'm single once more and I'll reflect on myself before getting into another commitment which will be in the distant future.


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## ClimbingTheWalls (Feb 16, 2013)

Have only just read this thread but I think you did the right thing.

You are young and have plenty of time before you need to think about settling down. There's no need to rush into marriage.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

I think you did the right thing, although I would've done it face to face vs email, but that's just me.

Take it easy, have fun and don't rush....patience is the key to success.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

DoF said:


> I think you did the right thing, although I would've done it face to face vs email, but that's just me.
> 
> Take it easy, have fun and don't rush....patience is the key to success.


He's on deployment so he cannot tell her face to face.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> He's on deployment so he cannot tell her face to face.


oops, missed that part....


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

Just some friendly advice... Marriage is really tough in the military, even for the strongest of relationships. I'd recommend happily date and get to know a lot of folks. When you get out, go to school and finish. Then consider marriage. 

Avoid getting anyone pregnant until after you are married. You will have lived and learned so much, you'll be much more experienced in finding the right one. Your judgement will be so much more mature. And - you'll become the right person too.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Good for you. Now do some work on building your self esteem, and figure out why you have White Knight Syndrome and deal with that. Best of luck to you.


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## Dayhiker (Mar 5, 2011)

Didn't read the full thing, but the fact that you are asking the question of whether you should continue dating someone is a clue that you shouldn't continue it.


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## WolverineFan (Nov 26, 2013)

Marriage to someone you are not sure you want to be with in the first place has "disaster" written all over it. If you think you want to stick it out then consider "pre-engagement" counseling. I know that it sounds strange but more and more couples are going to counseling before they get engaged. It Could have something to do with the ridiculous divorce rate in this country. It would be well worth the effort though. Google "preparing for marriage" and you will find some great information to help you move forward. Blessings!


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Was she sexually abused as a child? The combination of learning disability, and susceptibility to manipulation what she was immature amy indicate CSA. 

How much do you know about her childhood? I think I understand the conflict. You are not the type of man that can abandon someone in need. I think you may fear for her future if you do leave. Does she have family and friends that care about her. I feel bad for her. Life has not been good to her. How do you balance empathy towards another and self preservation. 

I cannot answer that but I think it is crux of your dilemma. It's easy to say dump her for people who don't know her. But how to help you find a balance in your life where you are kind and empathetic and at the same time, put yourself in a position where you find a partner that will fill your motional cup. 

People like you can easily burn out. The best thing that can happen for you is to have a emotionally stable woman who is capable of cherishing and loving you for the person you are. Your cup gets filled and you are able to be compassionate and empathetic to others in a balanced way. This is what you need in your life

Your girlfriend needs someone who is stable and able to protect and love her. She has to learn to be empathetic compassionate and loving. With your doubts, I don't think you can do that for her. I also think you feel so much empathy that you don't push her to work hard to overcome her deficits. 

I pray that things work out for you both and the path forward will become clear.


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