# My husband has ask me to choose between him & my son



## diane14

My husband of 8 years gave me a choice between him & my 19 year old son. My son lived with us on & off for the past 5 years. During 9th grade he was living with his Dad while fighting for custody. Being the older of my two children he has gone through a lot as our Divorce battle was very painful. My ex husband had emotionally abused my son since we got separated, he used him as a weapon to heart me. My son of 10 years at the time turned against me as his Dad told him that I broke up the marriage in order to go out with another man. My son grew thinking that I abandoned him because of this new man on my life and now that he is older he did not disrespect my husband, but he is not too fond of him either. Lately there has been lots of arguing in the house between me my son, because financial and other past issues and he had disrespect me a few times by calling me names. Last month I was very close to tell him that he should move out of our house because we weren’t getting along, however the last incident was between my son and my husband, they had a very heated argument, there were very close to punch each other and my son went an got a baseball bat to hit him, my husband did the same went and got something else to defend himself, however nothing went past the intention to heart one another as I got in the middle and stop the argument.

He has been living full time with us since last year and everything has been fine till last month. I am not sure what to do in this case as now as this situation is killing me because deep down I know that he need to be punish for what he did, but the fact is that I know deep down he has some emotional problems and I feel helpless as I can't help him nor see him at all times it makes me feel very sad & depress. I was happy having my two children back into my arms after my ex-husband took them away from me when they were young and now it feels that I lost one of them again

He's a good kid; no drugs, drinking, going to collage and working part time. I have no problems with my husband, we have a good relationship and I appreciate his help financially with them, however I feel he hasn't been there for my kids in an emotional way and I fell that this situation can not be resolve because the kids are already grown up.

Need some unbiased, second opinions. Thanks


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## unbelievable

He threatened your husband with a baseball bat. He disrespected you. He's not a "kid" and he certainly isn't "good". I'd kick my own son out of the house if he dared threatened me or my wife with a deadly weapon. The best thing a parent can do for their child is to teach them to stand firmly on their own two feet. If he's qualified, I'd be talking him into the Army. He needs some self-discipline, a job, and a place to stay. There is no way someone is going to threaten me with deadly force and remain in my home another minute.


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## sm1965

Try and understand your child's position and what he's been through. Support, support, support! Most of all, help guide him to a position of independence... keep his eye and your eye on that! Then you're done and done well.


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## sm1965

Actually, he's done and done well!


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## tacoma

If my stepson had the balls to threaten me with a weapon he'd be in the hospital.
If my wife didn't like it she'd be in a hotel.

Priorities.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## FirstYearDown

I have told my mother: "I should have slit your throat when I had the chance!" Horrible, yes. However, she has come at me with a knife, as well as beat me to the point of my having to go to school with bruises. Like all bullies, she can dish it, but she can't take it.

Now if your son came at your husband with a bat and your husband hasn't done anything to him, your son is being ridiculous and disrespectful.


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## Runs like Dog

Yeah the husband is always going to lose that battle. Mommy will always be a mommy, even if her baby is 30.


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## tacoma

Runs like Dog said:


> Yeah the husband is always going to lose that battle. Mommy will always be a mommy, even if her baby is 30.


Not at all.

I had the same battle, I win in 10 days.

If there had been violence like the OP I would have won at the time of the violence.


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## PFTGuy

I have to agree with others here, behaviors like calling you names and threatening stepfather with a baseball bat are way over the line. Wherever he learned to act that way, he needs a redirection, fast. I'm with your husband on this one, I think, given the information.


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