# Dilemna-child may not be mines?



## ChristianA (Jun 22, 2012)

I know this is probably not the right forum to post but I really need some advice here. I was sleeping with this female on and off (we are not together) for about year. She came to me back in December and stated she was pregnant. I said ok. I will man up and be a father like I should. Things started to get ugly as she thought I actually had a girlfriend after I found she was pregnant (which I don't,so I don't know where that came from). I am not interested in having a life with her, I just want to take care of my boy. So I was fine with everything, supporting her through the pregnancy, buying things the baby needs until one night she was angry with me about something and stated that she hasn't been honest with me and the baby may not be mines?! Til this day I am frustrated and do not know if I should stick by her side. The baby is due on July 27. I know I f***cked up big time and I need to step up and fix the situation. She is now upset that I am asking for a DNA test. She said that the baby is really mines and it was a mistake. Now she was asking me to help her buy baby shower supplies and I am thinking what?! I thought friends or family do these things for you when you have a shower? I'm thinking she is a gold digger as well. Advice? please? I know I messed up, I just want to do right for now on.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Get a paternity test. If she objects, then remind her that she shouldn't have lied. Period. (By the way, I'm pretty sure she's objecting because she knows it isn't yours.)


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

lamaga said:


> Get a paternity test. If she objects, then remind her that she shouldn't have lied. Period. (By the way, I'm pretty sure she's objecting because she knows it isn't yours.)



:iagree:


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## GPR (Jan 3, 2009)

anchorwatch said:


> :iagree:


x3

100% Paternity test. No doubt.

If you aren't with her and don't plan to be. I wouldn't be paying for a baby shower crap even if it was mine. I'll pay for stuff relating to the kid and the deliver of the kid. I'm not buy decorations for your party.


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

paternity test.

And, for goodness sake, do not have your name as the father on the birth documents and certificate of the child. 

Do it later when the test confirms, if you want.

You could be stuck paying for someone else's child for 18 to 23 years.

And, dont marry her either. Maybe later?


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

aug said:


> paternity test.
> 
> And, for goodness sake, do not have your name as the father on the birth documents and certificate of the child.
> 
> ...


:iagree:

This, Christian. I cannot stress this strongly enough. If you let your name go on the birth certificate, you could be liable for child support EVEN IF YOU LATER PROVE YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER.


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## Drover (Jun 11, 2012)

I opened this thread because I read "ChristianA" as "Christina" and thought, "this outta be good"!


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

This may sound cold but if she is relying on family support, I would maintain some distance since she said you are not he father. Seek legal help too. It is probably better not to take the father role until there is proof that you are the father. 

Then you can step up. If you are planning on a life without her, why are you not dating? You need to continue with your life so that she does not think that you will be at her beck and call. You are giving her false hope that you are going to be in her life as well as the child if it is yours. 

Set firm boundaries about what you want with her and make sure you don't get caught up with drama. Don't beat yourself up. You are doing your best to take responsibility but please grow from this, don't let it happen again. You are tied to this girl for the next 18 yrs if this child is yours.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

What other have said is spot on - demand a paternity test.

You should talk to a lawyer about your options here, you do not want her putting your name on the birth record. All it takes in some states is for her to tell the records people at the hospital that it is yours. It's that simple. 

So don't wait for the birth to figure out your rights, see a lawyer ASAP! Before you get trapped and have to spend thousands of $ fighting getting it changed after the fact.

Also do not do a quickie wedding without that DNA test. 

Are you sure she hasn't been in contact with some other guy ? Her accusation of you having a GF during this time, might be her projecting her own behavior of having a BF she's been talking to.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Talk to a family law lawyer asap. It will not be expensive and will be worth every penny of whatever you pay. Don't cheap out on this now! There may be one or two very important things you must or must not do in order to avoid a lifetime of paying child support for another man's child.

And ditto to what everyone else has said.


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## Thewife (Sep 3, 2007)

Are you a single or married man?


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Christian, as with the others.... paternity test and don't let your name be put on the birth certificate unless it is determined that you ARE the father! SHE is the one who brought up the doubt in the first place. If you don't get the test, and if you accept the child as yours, you will always wonder. Get the test, and find out for sure!


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## ChristianA (Jun 22, 2012)

I am not married. I do not plan to be with her, especially after what she has told me. It's been a few weeks since I have heard from her, after I told her I refused to pay for baby showers supplies etc. I haven't spoken to her.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Glad you came back, Christian. Please do see a lawyer, though, to see what you can do about her putting you on the birth certificate without your knowledge.


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