# lost my confidence



## pjp (Apr 25, 2012)

after a long time of only having sex once or twice a month for ages, my wife has changed her attitude to sex and myself, she is now up for it 2 to 3 times a week but with all the discussions dissagreements and arguements i finally got what i wanted but now i have lost all my confidence in the bedroom, cant help but keep thinking whats the matter with me,


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## 7737 (Feb 10, 2011)

....or what she's up to?
Why the sudden change? What does she want?

PJP - forgive me for being cynical....years of being in a sexless marriage!

Trying to be (cautiously) optimistic for you....enjoy your 'new' wife...make hay while the sun shines for tomorrow the rain may return.

You have been 'conditioned' to sex once or twice a month....you now need to be 'unconditioned'. Rome wasnt built in a day!


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

I too wonder why the sudden change?

Personally I don't think there is anything wrong with you. Being rejected for so long had to do a number on you.


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

Is she in her late 30's or 40's? If so it could be the result of a surge in sexual desire some women naturally experience premenopause.

Why the loss in confidence? Do you feel like it's been hard for you to enjoy sex that often?


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## pjp (Apr 25, 2012)

maybe its just that it is a major turnaround, its a shock that she has changedand this sounds cynical but its almost like there is a alterior motive as its not just more sex but she is very affectionate all the time also, i dont want to sound like i am complaining but it is such a massive change,


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

Its because it [email protected] pisses you off. For years it was no no no. NOW she wants it "all the time, like some horn-ball" and you are supposed to smile and like it.

Not there myself, but I see a future me there. Wife would likely be okay with once maybe twice a month. If I have to endure that for years, I couldnt just smile and be happy when she decides its ok to want sex more frequently.

Makes sense your confidence is in the crapper if you were turned down time after time, rebuffed in your discussions and arguements and made to feel unwanted in that way.


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## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

How about just asking her why?
I pray I am wrong -- but I'd start investigating.
This exact scenario happened to me... and little did I know, it was either a result of her feelings and/or a cover-up to her ongoing affair. Be diligent while you re-learn to enjoy what is hopefully her awakening to the realization that your marriage and sex life were in the crapper... assuming she's NOT cheating, be very, very glad and outwardly appreciative that she's woken up and done something about it.


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## pjp (Apr 25, 2012)

i am very sure she is not having an affair, she has also said she will have the coil fitted rather than myself having a vasectomy, the passionate and loving side of our marraige has returned, it is a pretty perfect relationship if it continues, i am keeping my fingers crossed it does,


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

Maybe she has hit her sexual peak??

I have always loved sex, but, when I hit 30 I wanted it all the time (it damn near drove me nuts, h didn't want sex)

I will be 34 in a couple of months and my drive is pretty much back to normal, but i am single now (or will be)


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