# Artificial Insemination



## moco82 (Jul 16, 2012)

Could someone knowledgeable point to medical literature that could shed light on the following problem? A guy I know intercepted some communication that appeared to suggest that his child wasn't conceived when and how he thought (the timing did appear suspicious). Yet a mail-in DNA test proved his paternity. Barring sloppiness at the lab (the test was non-legal, but the same company does paternity tests for court cases), could his woman have somehow conceived artificially without his knowledge?


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## batsociety (Jan 23, 2015)

...How did the timing appear suspicious?


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## moco82 (Jul 16, 2012)

The only vaginal intercourse they had in the course of a couple of months was weeks earlier than the doctor's calculated conception date (while the birth date was almost spot-on). There was also no inside ejaculation, and withdrawal was their "contraception" method for 3 years up to that point.


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## Pooh Bear (Dec 28, 2014)

moco82 said:


> Could someone knowledgeable point to medical literature that could shed light on the following problem? A guy I know intercepted some communication that appeared to suggest that his child wasn't conceived when and how he thought (the timing did appear suspicious). Yet a mail-in DNA test proved his paternity. Barring sloppiness at the lab (the test was non-legal, but the same company does paternity tests for court cases), could his woman have somehow conceived artificially without his knowledge?


I doubt it. You have to go to all these doctor's appointments, get shots with big needles, and the timing is all based on a woman's cycle. So she can't hide it very well because when she is close to her cycle she has to go in to have ultrasounds. It is a very complicated process and would be pretty hard to hide. What is he worried about? That this is another man's child through artificial insemination?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Was there any kind of sexual interaction at all in which he ejaculated?

Like rubbing on the outside? What did they do?


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## moco82 (Jul 16, 2012)

I guess he just ejaculated on her body and/or bed. We kept theorizing that sperm can survive for hours if properly stored, but that seems like quite an undertaking to accomplish through the same roof.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

moco82 said:


> I guess he just ejaculated on her body and/or bed. We kept theorizing that sperm can survive for hours if properly stored, but that seems like quite an undertaking to accomplish through the same roof.


I got pregnant without PIV. One of my sisters did too. Just rubbing round on the outside and ejaculating can do it. Ejaculation on her then his or her hands down there can do it. 

He got her pregnant. That is pretty obvious. Why is he trying to deny the pregnancy?

What is your relationship to this guy? What is his relationship to her?


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## moco82 (Jul 16, 2012)

Sorry I'm trying to stay somewhat vague, in case she reads this forum. He is not trying to deny fatherhood at all, but the overheard communication is unequivocal in stating that the pregnancy occurred without his intent. The context of that conversation was around the timing of a second child, and her saying that she couldn't speed the process up "like last time" because he is now using condoms.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

It occurred with his consent. He was with her, he came. Actually, per-ejeculatory fluid around the entrance to the vagina can do it. Withdrawal is not an effective means of birth control and if preventing birth was important to him, he would have educated himself.

Perhaps she could have taken his ejaculate off her belly with her hand and put it in the area of her vagina. But there are no guarantees that would work any more that guaranteeing withdrawal works to prevent pregnancy. 

Perhaps a vasectomy is in order now.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

moco82 said:


> Sorry I'm trying to stay somewhat vague, in case she reads this forum. He is not trying to deny fatherhood at all, but the overheard communication is unequivocal in stating that the pregnancy occurred without his intent. The context of that conversation was around the timing of a second child, and her saying that she couldn't speed the process up "like last time" because he is now using condoms.


Condoms do not prevent a person from using the sperm in them in the way you are suggesting she did the first time.

What is his point of all this? If he does not want a child with her, he needs to either get snipped or stop having sex with her. It's pretty simple.

Why is he even having these discussions? What is his point? To malign her? To blame her for something?


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## moco82 (Jul 16, 2012)

All along he thought that it was pre-ejaculate that did the trick, and of course he is aware that withdrawal is hardly a method of contraception. The potential consequences were well-known and understood.

His current goal is to figure out what happened. He didn't even question that the pregnancy just happened. The new information came out the blue.

As I've stated before, the overheard communication is unequivocal that the woman took action to become pregnant. He and I are not medical professionals or biologists, so we're exceedingly curious about what could have happened. I guess we gleaned some knowledge from this thread, for which I thank the contributors.


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## Pooh Bear (Dec 28, 2014)

moco82 said:


> All along he thought that it was pre-ejaculate that did the trick, and of course he is aware that withdrawal is hardly a method of contraception. The potential consequences were well-known and understood.
> 
> His current goal is to figure out what happened. He didn't even question that the pregnancy just happened. The new information came out the blue.
> 
> As I've stated before, the overheard communication is unequivocal that the woman took action to become pregnant. He and I are not medical professionals or biologists, so we're exceedingly curious about what could have happened. I guess we gleaned some knowledge from this thread, for which I thank the contributors.


It might be a good idea for him to start thinking of that baby and stop worrying about the exact process of how it came to be. The baby is his and is born, it sounds like, and needs him to be a good daddy. That child would be devastated if he or she did not think daddy wanted him or her. So he needs to give up worrying about it and accept that he has a child.


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## moco82 (Jul 16, 2012)

He wasn't worried until the communication and will probably lay this to rest even if he doesn't find any definitive answer. But, for a second, imagine his state during those days before receiving the DNA report (female solidarity may be many TAMers' knee-jerk reaction, but imagine just for a second). He says the interesting thing he learned while taking care of the kid every single day and waiting for the report, clouded in uncertainty, was that he decided that even if he was not the father, he would never tell the kid and would continue to raise him. They are very close and it's not an easily broken bond.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

so, basically your "friend" wants to know if the mother of his children maybe saved up sperm from an earlier time (froze it?) and turkey basted her way into pregnancy?

To what end?

If he managed to have sexual contact with her that got his swimmers out into the air anywhere near her, then pregnancy can result.

if he was that worried about it he should not have had sexual contact. 

At the very least, bleached down the whole room and made sure condoms were flushed away, etc.


Kind of an odd predicament as described.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

moco82 said:


> The only vaginal intercourse they had in the course of a couple of months was weeks earlier than the doctor's calculated conception date (while the birth date was almost spot-on). There was also no inside ejaculation, and withdrawal was their "contraception" method for 3 years up to that point.


*And as a whole herd of guys have sadly found out, the "withdrawal method" is greatly like playing Russian Roulette, with a fully loaded Lugar! More especially when they have been doing it as standard practice for three years!

From a purely physiological standpoint, just before the guy starts to reach his heralded orgasmic "point of inevitability," and then gradually slows down to a stop, in order to stall his forthcoming ejaculation(edging); well, if he's not donning "a raincoat," then some of his stuff, perhaps only as much as a drop or two, is inevitably going to seep or involuntarily squirt out right into his lady. And provided that her biological timing is just right, then the two of them stand pretty good odds that they are going to be parents! Just sayin'!

If he want's the greatly enhanced benefits of bare sex with his woman without having ton put that condom on, then he'd better give some pretty serious thought to getting snipped by his urologist. It's a simple relatively painless procedure that will quell his pregnancy fears and provide him,
as well as her, with years of pleasure and personal security!

"Been there ~ Done that!" It's no big deal!*


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

moco82 said:


> He wasn't worried until the communication and will probably lay this to rest even if he doesn't find any definitive answer. But, for a second, imagine his state during those days before receiving the DNA report (female solidarity may be many TAMers' knee-jerk reaction, but imagine just for a second). He says the interesting thing he learned while taking care of the kid every single day and waiting for the report, clouded in uncertainty, was that he decided that even if he was not the father, he would never tell the kid and would continue to raise him. They are very close and it's not an easily broken bond.


He is still with this woman?

I agree, the words you posted that he overheard sound odd. But he obviously got her pregnant. 

Something for him to consider about what she said. She said that he is using condoms. If a woman really wants to get pregnant condoms will not do much to prevent it. Just poking holes in his condoms would work.


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## moco82 (Jul 16, 2012)

EleGirl, yes, they're together, so it boils down to an issue of trust going forward.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Yes it would be an issue of trust going forward.

He heard a small part of one side of a conversation. It could be very easy to misunderstand what was said.

If he does not want to another children, he is responsible to make sure that it does not happen. Vasectomies work very well.

What I'm getting here is that he and she are not communicating very well. It sounds like she wants another children and he does not.

So in that case he needs to tell her very clearly that there will be no more children with her. He also needs to take reasonability to ensure that. Vasectomies work very well. Condoms not so much. They are 98% effective as birth control. He is very likely to impregnate her sooner or later using condoms.

He needs to be upfront with her. Then if she wants more children, she can leave and find someone who wants more children. Or she can comes to terms with his choice.


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## moco82 (Jul 16, 2012)

Oh, it's a source of many a discussion in that household. Timing is the issue; as most women she is concerned about the "ticking clock". A vasectomy would not be a suitable solution. I guess he needs to accept the risk or tell her what he knows and that he doesn't want to be a pawn.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I agree. He needs to tell her what he overhead and his concerns. Not doing to gives her no chance to fix this if he misinterpreted what he heard. And the issue of baby or not baby is a huge wedge between the. It will turn into the grand canyon if not addressed. Best to address it before it splits them apart completely.


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## moco82 (Jul 16, 2012)

There aren't many ways to misinterpret "I'm considering going as far as doing the same thing as last time". So it may be a difficult conversation asking to come clean and to forgive and reconcile.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

moco82 said:


> There aren't many ways to misinterpret "I'm considering going as far as doing the same thing as last time". So it may be a difficult conversation asking to come clean and to forgive and reconcile.


That is a very different quote from what you posted earlier: 
"like last time" 


He needs to ask her what she did last time. See what she says.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

moco82 said:


> All along he thought that it was pre-ejaculate that did the trick...


That _*is*_ possible, by the way.

Having said that, the intercepted comms would seem to indicate that the wife/girlfriend took specific action (apart from having sex, that is) geared toward becoming pregnant w/ the guy's child.

It sounds like she wanted a kid and he wasn't ready, so she did _something_ to make it happen anyway. Now she wants another, but he's using condoms now... so she's looking for a new playbook.

If I were him, I'd demand an explanation. 

AND I'd stop having sex w/ her.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

EnjoliWoman said:


> It occurred with his consent. He was with her, he came. Actually, per-ejeculatory fluid around the entrance to the vagina can do it. Withdrawal is not an effective means of birth control and if preventing birth was important to him, he would have educated himself.
> 
> Perhaps she could have taken his ejaculate off her belly with her hand and put it in the area of her vagina. But there are no guarantees that would work any more that guaranteeing withdrawal works to prevent pregnancy.
> 
> Perhaps a vasectomy is in order now.


Eh... I'd have been 100% on board w/ ^this^ if it weren't clear that she did something (again, other than having sex) geared specifically toward becoming pregnant.

Perhaps they'd previously been using both BC and PW, and she simply stopped taking the BC?


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

moco82 said:


> The only vaginal intercourse they had in the course of a couple of months was weeks earlier than the doctor's calculated conception date (while the birth date was almost spot-on). There was also no inside ejaculation, and withdrawal was their "contraception" method for 3 years up to that point.


First and foremost, the conception date is only a guesstimate, as is the due date(time for birth). They make a guess based on her last period and the size of the growing embryo. I know the guess for my son was off by a couple weeks. It's not uncommon. 

Secondly, the withdrawal method is not a reliable form of birth control. Pre-ejaculation can get a woman pregnant and even if he did 'successfully' pull out, she can still get pregnant from ejaculatory fluids on or just outside the vaginal opening. 

He got her pregnant and needs to let all of this go. If he does not want to get her pregnant, then he needs to use a better form of birth control.


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## moco82 (Jul 16, 2012)

Anonymous07, thanks for not reading the follow-up posts.


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## douglas lappe (Feb 14, 2017)

Uhhh, no. Emphatically, Hell No! For artificial insemination, all you need is a turkey baster. The woman monitors her cycle, when it shows that she is ovulating, (her vaginal temperature will increase, sore breasts, being hornie), then she uses the baster and fills it with sperm. She can or could have collected it over a course of time and kept it cool, below -6 degrees F. Let the fluid warm up, take the "shot" and nine months later, ta da! Lesbians do it all the time. They get some male to donate and then the two of them have a warm bath, plenty of love, and one uses the turkey baster on the other, and motherhood. You do not need fertility shots. Those are given for other fertility issues. Make sure the turkey baster is clean, but no soap residue.


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