# I don't want a divorce HELP!



## Wereami (Apr 16, 2013)

My wife has asked me for a divorce again, it happens once a year for the last couple of years. I am a recovering alcoholic I was verbally abusive and not there much emotionally or physically. I have been sober for 22 months and will never go back to it, i hate who I was and what I did. I did AA for about a year and felt I can do this alone. I am still sober thank God. I have serious neck and back pain so I have been on and off pain meds for many years and never really abused them. But I lied about getting them and what i was doing with them. So over the last few months (I havent gotten them for close to a year now) the whole truth about them and what I did with them has come up, she always thinks something is up, it doesnt add up is here favorite thing to say. So everything is a trust issue.
So she has asked for a divorce because I still have my alcoholic ways. She is right I hid it to get past it and get it behind us. So more AA is what I need to stop all the behavior, Agreed and I have started again. But Divorce because she cant trust me and she feels unsafe. (i have NEVER physically hurt anyone I am a big guy who would hurt a fly) 
She says she loves me dearly, still wants to hug and kiss me. But then when I hug back she thinks I am trying to manipulate her and play on her emotions and feelings towards me. I hurt her and she has never recovered from the mental abuse of my alcoholism (married 5 years almost 2 being sober). 
What do I do, we love each other we have a 3 year old son who we adore, neither wants this but she feels no other way. She asked for the divorce last Monday and nothing has happened yet. I left to a hotel to give her space a week later. So its been 9 days. I go to the house every day to see them both, she greets me with a kiss. We have a hard time keeping the tears from our eyes together because of our love. We are and have been going to counseling. 
How do I fix this! What do I do! I am having a hard time just sitting back doing noting. I am going to AA and seeking any help I can find for me and our marriage, going to more counseling. I feel hopeless. I do not want to lose her.


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## Thumper (Mar 23, 2013)

Get yourself into some counseling solo and marriage ASAP. Work on yourself and work on building some trust with your wife, let her share that journey with you to fix yourself. It will make your marriage stronger if its not too late.

Google therapists in (your area here). Start reading over the lists, and let you and your wife choose one together.


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## Wereami (Apr 16, 2013)

Thumper
I am seeing a counselor and they are saying pretty much the same as you have. Pulling myself together will show more intent on getting better than falling apart. As we all know easier said than done. I am coping better, I have some hope. I know there are people in much worse situations and I really feel for them. A friend said to me dealing with a seriously son or daughter is tough you can get through this. There hasn't been much time passed and things are calm / quiet. So maybe given more time things will turn around. For now I will visit and try to smile. I wont ask questions only give answers. I'll keep getting help for me. 
Thanks for getting back to me.


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