# spanking his monkey...



## cory275 (Aug 11, 2011)

ladies, do you care if your husband spanks the monkey when you're not home? if you're at work or something and you can tell he's been enjoying some alone time with himself when you get home? if there's some left over tissue still stuck to him from when he tried to clean himself up, does it bother you to see stuff like that?

i UNINTENTIONALLY caught my ex jerking off on his lunch break years ago, and I've been scarred ever sense. am i the only one this bothers?


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

I doubt you're the only one it bothers. However, it's nothing unusual or abnormal. If it bothers you, speak to him. But I doubt he will stop masturbating. It has nothing personal to do with your adequacy as a sex partner, it's more of a way to relieve tension. I've never known a man who doesn't do it; seems to just be a normal part of one's sexuality.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

cory275 said:


> ladies, do you care if your husband spanks the monkey when you're not home? if you're at work or something and you can tell he's been enjoying some alone time with himself when you get home? if there's some left over tissue still stuck to him from when he tried to clean himself up, does it bother you to see stuff like that?
> 
> i UNINTENTIONALLY caught my ex jerking off on his lunch break years ago, and I've been scarred ever sense. am i the only one this bothers?


I hope so.
Why would you have a problem with your husband masturbating?

Do you masturbate, does he have a problem with it?

The vast majority of humans do with little problems
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mrs. T (Aug 5, 2011)

It would only bother me if he was not fulfilling my needs. I have my own private moments so I would hardly feel comfortable telling him he wasn't allowed. It's really hot if you catch him in the act and he asks you to finish the job...


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## WhereAmI (Nov 3, 2010)

It wouldn't bother me at all. If he has an itch he should scratch it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

This would ONLY bother me if I was never never never refused and he had a wild sex drive for me, if not, I would be pis**ed off. 

My husband wouldn't have anything left for this, as I want it too much, in his earlier days though he could have done this easy- without it being a problem at all. But he choose not too, and still waited for me. Nice of him, but probably rather stupid when you think about it -as his drive was higher back then.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

I do not mind at all. I'm assuming he does, but it does not interfere with our sex life. I'm sure he'd rather have me give him oral or a hj vs himself. It's natural for women to masturbate and use sex toys as well without their husband present. Although, nothing is better then making love to my husband. 

I'm waiting for him to get home, so we can shower first and have a little fun. The kids are on their way to their grandparents house. . I love when no one is in the house.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

It would bother me if he didn't wash his hands or clean up the surroundings thoroughly. I hate sticky messes of unknown origin. I have ant problems you know. 

Can you express how you came to be troubled by his masturbating? Have you ever read any information that supports the finding that masturbate is a normal part of sexuality? I think there are many misconceptions both culturally and religeously about masturbation. A higher percentage of men than women masterbate but it is normal and has to do with the hormone testosterone and it's biology. 

It is really not a weakness of mind and spirit, nor a judgement on his attraction to his partner according to the post on TAM. A couple of reasons for the frequency is that he wants sex more frequently than his partner or he has a needs release. Men say that it is a tension reliever. I have read that men who view porn masturbate more frequently. 

Does anyone think that it is an invasion of privacy to try to control a partners masturbation if it does not appear to be interfering with the couples sex life? In my view, even when you are married or maybe especially when you are married, you need to remain a separate person and avoid trying to merge. 

I don't own my husbands body and what he does with it is his bisiness. I am very happy he he choses to share it with me. At the same time, I do have a responsibility to assist him in areas where I think he may incur injury or illness but ultimately it is up to him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

Catherine602 said:


> It would bother me if he didn't wash his hands or clean up the surroundings thoroughly. I hate sticky messes of unknown origin. I have ant problems you know.
> 
> Can you express how you came to be troubled by his masturbating? Have you ever read any information that supports the finding that masturbate is a normal part of sexuality? *I think there are many misconceptions both culturally and religeously about masturbation. A higher percentage of men than women masterbate but it is normal and has to do with the hormone testosterone and it's biology.*
> 
> ...


:iagree::iagree:


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Me & my husband both would rather be togehter than masterbate, it is just not the same, this is why he choose to wait in our earlier marriage, that is how much he would rather make love. Though he did it up to 3 times a day before we married- he has told me . 

I also feel it is natural to do this -even when married, but I am the same as my husband in this regard..... I would want to be with him 10 times more than a toy. In fact , I bought my 1st toys 3 yrs ago when he couldn't keep up and only used them about 4 times tops -no comparison to being with him at all. I'll likely never get them out again. He doesn't want me too - he told me. And I am very happy he feels that way! 

It is very special knowing we both feel the same, we just want each other - we both say..."Use me baby"!!


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## ocotillo (Oct 17, 2011)

With men, one aspect of masturbation is simply physiology. The male sexual apparatus produces a fluid and the fluid is stored. As with all bodily systems where something is contained, capacity is finite. 

Nobody can simply decide that they're never going to exhale or urinate again. If you tried, your visceral nervous system would eventually override your conscious mind with potentially embarrassing results. 

A slightly similar thing happens with men, especially young, unattached men. It's colloquially called a 'Wet dream.' The mind conjures up an erotic scene in a dream and nature takes care of itself. But the ability to experience nocturnal emission decreases as a man gets older.

The prostate can reabsorb semen to a certain extent, but when this goes on for too long it can congeal into a semi-solid. The resultant condition is called congestive prostatitis. It's symptoms include pain in the rectum and perineal region and sometimes a small amount of bleeding from the penis during erection. It is very, very unpleasant. Typically, a man with this condition will go see a urologist and guess what he'll be told to do? 

It's true that monks in monasteries live celibate lives and (allegedly) don't even masturbate. But they accomplish this by removing themselves from any external stimuli whatsoever. For a married man, that's not really practical because he's going to be rubbing elbows (And other things) on a daily basis with a woman he finds attractive. 

So when a man's wife is indisposed or their libidos are mismatched or even when he simply feels the pressure once in awhile, he's going to masturbate.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

My husband doesn't do it.

He says it's boring. He'd rather wait til I'm around and devour me.

i didn't believe him when we first started dating...but he said he never did it. 

We have a lot of sex. lol.


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## Laurae1967 (May 10, 2011)

As others have said, I would not have a problem (and do not) knowing my husband masturbates....unless he was witholding sex from me.

Why were you "scarred"? To expect your man not to masturbate is not fair or realistic. You should figure out how to process this issue and move on.


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## Mistys dad (Dec 2, 2011)

You were "scarred" by it. But, somehow you are comfortable using the term "Spank the Monkey" in conversation. Strange.

Are you "scarred" by sex as well? 

How about when you were "bean flicking" as you put it? Did your own masturbation have such a deep profound effect on you?

And why only when you ex did it did you feel so scarred, but it's not as bad in your current relationship?

Does all sexuality disturb you so deeply?

And lastly, if masturbation is so bad, then why did God make your arms the exact, perfect length?


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## Lydia (Sep 4, 2011)

No it doesn't bother me. It actually makes our sex life better as it seems to stimulate his libido. Sometimes he'll do it while I'm at work and I'll come home and we'll have awesome sex. As long as he doesn't do it in front of me, I don't care.


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## I Know (Dec 14, 2011)

cory275 said:


> ladies, do you care if your husband spanks the monkey when you're not home? if you're at work or something and you can tell he's been enjoying some alone time with himself when you get home? if there's some left over tissue still stuck to him from when he tried to clean himself up, does it bother you to see stuff like that?
> 
> i UNINTENTIONALLY caught my ex jerking off on his lunch break years ago, and I've been scarred ever sense. am i the only one this bothers?


I don't get it. What's the big deal? is he denying you sex because he has masterbated? Not trying to be flip. I really don't get what the big deal w/ masterbation is.


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## TallJeff (Nov 1, 2011)

About every guy masturbates.

I have done it 2-3 nearly every day of my marriage. But I've also NEVER denied my wife sex.

If he was saying no to you but masturbating, ok, I get it.

But if he's just blowing off steam and being loyal to you and meeting your needs, then what's the big deal?

Also, how often do you deny him? If my wife isn't in the mood and goes to bed before I do, I'll always do it before going to bed because it helps me unwind and sleep better.


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## I'mAllIn (Oct 20, 2011)

I totally don't care. Wouldn't bother me at all. Why would I care if I'm not there to help him take care of things? I'd probably be upset if I were going without and he was spanking something else though.

I would however prefer that he clean up a little more carefully. Leftovers just sound icky thank you very much.


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## speakingforsomemen (Dec 12, 2011)

Better install secret video cameras, don't want to do anything the other would find unpleasant, Keyloogers, video cameras and private eyes, ohhhhhh, marriage is pleasant now isn't it!


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

Prodigal said:


> I doubt you're the only one it bothers. However, it's nothing unusual or abnormal. If it bothers you, speak to him. But I doubt he will stop masturbating. It has nothing personal to do with your adequacy as a sex partner, it's more of a way to relieve tension. I've never known a man who doesn't do it; seems to just be a normal part of one's sexuality.


nope I have no issues with it... it is what he uses, while he is doing it that i have an issue with. and he tells me no all the time


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## LBG (Nov 22, 2011)

Hubby masturbating doesn't bother me at all, as long as I'm not left to clean up a mess and he's not refusing me. His drive is considerably higher than mine and I cannot keep up with him completely so I'd much rather him masturbate than cheat. 

I don't really want to know when he does it or any of the details. I just know that he does and we don't discuss it. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it, it's just his private time and it's really none of my business. If he wants me to know he'll either do it in front of me or discuss it, otherwise have a good time buddy!


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## mousecat (Nov 28, 2011)

cory275 said:


> l
> i UNINTENTIONALLY caught my ex jerking off on his lunch break years ago, and I've been scarred ever sense. am i the only one this bothers?


On his lunch break? Really?
Well, I wouldn't be mad. It's just a symptom of today's hectic busy lifestyles. Lunch break might've been his only spare time that day. Or have I missed the point?


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