# Def a learning thing this is...



## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

Been away from TAM for a bit. Busy learning to be a grandma by babysitting my l'il puddin' pop. It's great to know that there is a relationship growing between us, everyday.

The pendulum is beginning to swing in my favor lately. I have been awarded the disability and am beginning the arduous task of becoming self sufficient after 23 years. I've come to accept that Lieceratops will never be true to his most pretty words and promises. He hasn't done so with anyone else, why should I even think that I would be the lone exception. Haven't disclosed to him or DD any details on the disability. DS know only that I did get it, he was with me at the hearing. He's asked questions, I simply told him that I wasn't going to tell him for his own protection as he does talk to his dad on occasion. And STBXH has a way of wheedling info out of people. Ignorance is bliss, trust me is what I told him.

Looks as if getting the divorce finished is falling to me to do. I will benefit, in obvious ways, but I still think that he is the one that wants it, he should pay for it. But that ain't gonna happen anytime soon as he is, once again, unemployed. He told DS that company terminated his contract for "no good reason". DS knows better and so do I. Few companies do so without a reason.

DD had a fender-bender last week (she's with him for now) and called me first. Seems she was terrified that when she told her dad that he would take her car away from her, yell and scream at her and basically overact in an extreme manner. Itried to reassure her that that would not be the case, just tell him and be an adult doing so (she'll be 19 next month). From what she text me a few days later, she did and it went better than she had anticipated.

Back to the "learning" aspect, in the last 4 months I have been bestowed 2 new titles, mother in law and grandma! Soon I will have to add ex-wife (not a title I ever dreamed of or aspired to). I'm more and more succeessful at keeping my sarcasm and snarkiness under control when it comes to STBXH. I find that I'm
more optimistic these days. Days of despair and tears are becoming less frequent, still have them but so much less.

And it seems that I have become the wise and experienced sage on this subject. A friend has recently caught her guy cheating (3rd know time at least) and sought out my knowledge on coping and surviving. I suggested coming to TAM and doing lots of reading.

It's been a hellish year for me but the clouds are beginning to dissipate. YAY ME!!!!


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Sounds like you are in a good place! Congrats!


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## unsure78 (Oct 17, 2011)

Good for you Cherokee!


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