# Is he still in love with his ex wife



## MARRIAGETALK1 (Sep 10, 2010)

Everything was good at first. But now everything that has existed in the begining of the relationship no longer exist(affection, love, communication, time spent) I used to like him, all the reasons I liked him have disappeared.
but he is not the same person that I once knew. To get to the title of my thread. His ex wife was the one who basically ended the relationship. Since then she has moved on and started a family,but he seems emotional when he hears things thru the grapevine in regard to her(the birth of her only child) and to make matters worse we recently went to his family reunion and her name is still shown in their records as his wife.(been divorced 5 years) although I know he cares about me,I would prefer not to wast my time with someone who is in love with someone else. Been thinking about ending the realtionship. and yes I have asked all the questions to the statements I've made and he has denied it. My instinct is saying different. Am I wasting my time?


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## Frost (Aug 2, 2010)

If you no longer like him and he is not the person you once knew that seems pretty revealing.

It seems he should have moved on in 5 years time since the divorce. Perhaps he looks at her now as something he lost and that makes her appealing. And if that's true, it might become obvious if you leave him and suddenly you have his full attention.

The best advice I can give is to follow your heart. It's better to be free of an unhappy relationship before it gets to be a true commitment.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Does it really matter at this point?

Id you aren't into each other and want to pull the plug, why does it have to be about his ex-wife of 5 years?


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

Are you unhappy because of the situation with his ex-wife, or are you unhappy because of other things? That's the first thing to figure out. The other thing to figure out...if you're unhappy because of the situation with his ex-wife, is that making other things seem worse, therefore making you unhappier? Or if it's other things making you unhappy, do those things make his ex-wife seem like a bigger deal than maybe she really is? 

You have to figure out the real reasons you're unhappy before you have any chance of solving any of them and becoming happy again. Once you've identified what is making you unhappy, then you can determine if they can be fixed or if you need to just end the marriage. 

I do agree that after this long, he should have moved on. The fact that he hasn't tells me that either he still has very strong feelings for her (in which case, your relationship probably won't work out), or he has extreme difficulty in dealing with change. Does he act like this about other stuff, too? Or is it just her? 

I think, if you feel like you need to end the relationship, then that might be the best thing for you to do. If nothing else, maybe tell him you need to take a little break from the relationship.


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