# Is playing around tied up weird?



## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

I am getting divorced after 18 years. My wife's sex drive was never as strong as I would have liked over the years. She wasn't into anything too spicy. The kinkiest thing we ever did was that she would tie me up in the spread eagle on the bed or in a chair and give me a hand job. I honestly can't remember how this got started early in our marriage. I want to think we saw something similar in a movie, started joking about it and thought we would try it, but I'm not sure. It turns out, I really enjoyed it. I never tied her up because it wasn't her thing to be tied up, and I was fine with that, and it was never her favorite thing to tie me up, but she would sometimes do it as a treat. Sometimes I would request it and if she was really in a good mood she would sometimes offer it. It wasn't done often, maybe once every three months or so. This was not a major issue in our divorce, but she did inform me that she thought I was weird for wanting something like that. She said that is what happens when people are raped and she doesn't get why I enjoyed it. So, am i really weird for enjoying that with my wife?


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Noting is weird if you enjoy it 

as long as you are safe and sound!

What she said makes no sense to me.



So do you mean you enjoy SM?

Will you like a Madam to whip you too???


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

greenpearl said:


> Noting is weird if you enjoy it
> 
> as long as you are safe and sound!
> 
> ...


No, I was never into the pain aspect of it. I'm not into heavy bondage either. I have seen some pictures of bondage where people look like they are tied in painful positions, I'm not into that either. To me, it was just a playful thing. I just enjoyed being at the mercy of my wife and her hands knowing that she was going to make me explode and I couldn't do a thing about it.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

southbound said:


> No, I was never into the pain aspect of it. I'm not into heavy bondage either. I have seen some pictures of bondage where people look like they are tied in painful positions, I'm not into that either. To me, it was just a playful thing. I just enjoyed being at the mercy of my wife and her hands knowing that she was going to make me explode and I couldn't do a thing about it.


I hate that kind of teasing. 

Sometimes my husband goes in and out, and that really drives me nuts. It is his cok, he is in control of it, I can't do anything, the only thing I can do is to beg him to stay inside, but the more I want him to be inside, the more he wants to tease me. 

When he does stay inside, wa, great........................

We are all different, we like different things, as long as we don't cause pain for others and don't hurt ourselves, we shouldn't feel guilty or weird. 

That's my attitude towards life! Also my husband's!


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## chefmaster (Oct 30, 2010)

southbound it sounds playful and harmless to me.






GP, have I ever mentioned how much i love reading your posts?


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Southbound,
Rape is when the other person does not consent. You are a GIANT leap from that.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

chefmaster said:


> GP, have I ever mentioned how much i love reading your posts?


Always happy to see!

It is never late to tell me this. 

Big smiles for you!


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## 76Trombones (Jun 2, 2010)

I think this sort of thing is kinda tame compared to other kinky stuff people do these days. I don't think you're weird for liking it. Hell, a lot of people are into it!


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

Star said:


> You ask “Is playing around tied up weird?”
> 
> Short answer to this for me is no way!!! Hell!! I really get off on it, restraining and being restrained, its common place in my world.
> 
> ...


I enjoyed her having the power over me too, and I never tied her up; I was the one restrained, so i never understood what the big deal about that was to her. If I were tieing her up even though she didn't like it, I could understand; but what is the big deal with me being tied up?


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Southbound, 
It wasn't weird enough for her to say anything for 18 years. When couples go through a divorce, they often dig very deep to find justification for killing their marriage. The man she adored for the last 10 years suddenly is described as a child-abusing, irresponsible, abusive, lunatic. The woman he adored for 10 years suddenly becomes a controlling battle axe who is so unstable, she should be caged and require constant supervision. Lots of couples do all kinds of things in the bedroom and it's all good as long as both are willing and nobody gets hurt. Don't dwell on this little accusation because all it really means is that after 18 years, she's desperately trying to justify to herself why she is divorcing you.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

unbelievable said:


> Don't dwell on this little accusation because all it really means is that after 18 years, she's desperately trying to justify to herself why she is divorcing you.


Nothing wrong with you at all ! !! Your wife has been sexually ABSENT for years, she is just pulling anything out at the moment to hurt, she is the one with the problem if she didn't like it then (which is probably not even true!). BUt if so, for her to say NOTHING to expose her feelings THEN, better to move on from such a woman. She is not even capable of being "REAL" with herself, let alone you.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

If, after 18 years, that's the worst my wife could say about me, I'd consider that quite a compliment.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

unbelievable said:


> Southbound,
> It wasn't weird enough for her to say anything for 18 years. When couples go through a divorce, they often dig very deep to find justification for killing their marriage. The man she adored for the last 10 years suddenly is described as a child-abusing, irresponsible, abusive, lunatic. The woman he adored for 10 years suddenly becomes a controlling battle axe who is so unstable, she should be caged and require constant supervision. Lots of couples do all kinds of things in the bedroom and it's all good as long as both are willing and nobody gets hurt. Don't dwell on this little accusation because all it really means is that after 18 years, she's desperately trying to justify to herself why she is divorcing you.


:iagree:

She's just trying to take whatever shots she can at you. 

She consented - you enjoyed it - and she never complained before.

Good luck with the divorce...


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

Not weird in my house. Maybe weird for her, but not for you - so what - different strokes for different folks.

Don't worry about it - maybe the next "wife" will want to be spanked too!


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Is playing "tied up" weird? 
A. If you don't know the person who's tied up, it's kinda weird.
A. If you don't untie the person when you're finished or if you have to dispose of a body afterwards, it's kinda weird. 
A. If you have to soundproof the walls or turn the stereo up really loudly to cover the screaming sounds, it's probably sorta weird.
A. If the FBI has you under close surveillance because of things you do when you tie someone up, it might be kinda weird.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

unbelievable said:


> Is playing "tied up" weird?
> A. If you don't know the person who's tied up, it's kinda weird.
> A. If you don't untie the person when you're finished or if you have to dispose of a body afterwards, it's kinda weird.
> A. If you have to soundproof the walls or turn the stereo up really loudly to cover the screaming sounds, it's probably sorta weird.
> A. If the FBI has you under close surveillance because of things you do when you tie someone up, it might be kinda weird.


Priceless! :lol:


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Unbelievable's post are always priceless !


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

unbelievable, you crack me up.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

unbelievable said:


> Is playing "tied up" weird?
> A. If you don't know the person who's tied up, it's kinda weird.
> A. If you don't untie the person when you're finished or if you have to dispose of a body afterwards, it's kinda weird.
> A. If you have to soundproof the walls or turn the stereo up really loudly to cover the screaming sounds, it's probably sorta weird.
> A. If the FBI has you under close surveillance because of things you do when you tie someone up, it might be kinda weird.


Our tie-ups didn't fit any of those, so maybe I'm not weird.


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## tjohnson (Mar 10, 2010)

It is not wierd if you both consent. It would seem to be pretty common (or at least not uncommon) thing for H and W to do to keep things spicy. 

agree with nice guy's comment regarding if that is the only thing she can slam you on...it IS a compliment. 

Not sure who initiated the divorce but, sounds like it maybe for the best. 

All i can say is if there are kids involved try you best not to put them in the middle best you can. 

Good luck.


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## bumpgrind1 (Mar 29, 2010)

My wife recently re-awoke after a 15 year or so libido nap. She loves to be tied/spanked. I built a "Quilt rack" for the foot of the bed that had her jumping into my arms in excitement. It's 22 inches tall and 44 inches long. The top is 8 inches wide and the bottom has legs that spread out 18 inches. I used a hole saw, the size you would use for installing a door knob, and drilled several holes in the upper and lower parts of it and she can lay on it, belly down, with a bely around her waist and through one of the holes. at the bottom her hands reach down on either side and a pair of handcuffs fit neatly through another hole there. At the back where her ankles are when she brings her knees forward there is another hole located that allows for a rope to slip through and secure her legs are. She's actually very comfortable and I gotta' tell ya', it's easy for me to get comfortable behind her as I swat her upturned bottom for misbehavin'.
Now I don't know if anyone else sees this as unusual but if its bad for her to like to be tied up like that, I'll spank her for it as much as it takes to make her understand. She can be pretty stubborn though so it's going to take years!!!


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

bumpgrind1 said:


> My wife recently re-awoke after a 15 year or so libido nap. She loves to be tied/spanked. I built a "Quilt rack" for the foot of the bed that had her jumping into my arms in excitement. It's 22 inches tall and 44 inches long. The top is 8 inches wide and the bottom has legs that spread out 18 inches. I used a hole saw, the size you would use for installing a door knob, and drilled several holes in the upper and lower parts of it and she can lay on it, belly down, with a bely around her waist and through one of the holes. at the bottom her hands reach down on either side and a pair of handcuffs fit neatly through another hole there. At the back where her ankles are when she brings her knees forward there is another hole located that allows for a rope to slip through and secure her legs are. She's actually very comfortable and I gotta' tell ya', it's easy for me to get comfortable behind her as I swat her upturned bottom for misbehavin'.
> Now I don't know if anyone else sees this as unusual but if its bad for her to like to be tied up like that, I'll spank her for it as much as it takes to make her understand. She can be pretty stubborn though so it's going to take years!!!


Sounds good to me. If I, however, had taken the time to constrct something like that for us or even suggested it, my wife would have though I had completely lost my mind.


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## Mrs.LonelyGal (Nov 8, 2010)

I like that kind of play.... I think my husband does too....we just never do it.
I think I like it because it is weird and sort of out of the ordinary.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

Mrs.LonelyGal said:


> I like that kind of play.... I think my husband does too....we just never do it.
> I think I like it because it is weird and sort of out of the ordinary.


I'm not sure I can fully explain why I like it, especially to someone who doesn't like it, it's just fun. I realize that it's not something one does every time; it does take a certain mood. One has to be in a wild, playful mood rather than a romantic one I suppose, but it's nice to be on the list of things to do.


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## Mrs.LonelyGal (Nov 8, 2010)

I think for me- I like the thought of being taken, that my husband will do whatever it takes to have me, even if that means being restrained.
It's not a "rape fantasy" per se...but it is that I have to submit to his teasing and aggressiveness. I like feeling that I have no control.(I used to hate this). Allowing myself to be vulnerable creates a feeling of trust which creates a deeper sense of intimacy.
I also like that this takes a little planning on his part ( gathering the props and planning the execution). The fact that he is putting some effort into creating an experience means a lot to me.
It's the same if I decide to put some music, put on a teddy and light some candles before bed. I thought ahead about what I wanted to do and put the effort into creating an experience for him.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

Mrs.LonelyGal said:


> I think for me- I like the thought of being taken, that my husband will do whatever it takes to have me, even if that means being restrained.
> It's not a "rape fantasy" per se...but it is that I have to submit to his teasing and aggressiveness. I like feeling that I have no control.(I used to hate this). Allowing myself to be vulnerable creates a feeling of trust which creates a deeper sense of intimacy.
> I also like that this takes a little planning on his part ( gathering the props and planning the execution). The fact that he is putting some effort into creating an experience means a lot to me.
> It's the same if I decide to put some music, put on a teddy and light some candles before bed. I thought ahead about what I wanted to do and put the effort into creating an experience for him.


I agree. My wife, however, would have looked at it just the opposite. She thought it was crazy to want to be tied up, and she thought great sex had to be spontaneous, not planned.


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