# What are some things you wish your hubby would do?



## mike1 (Jun 15, 2009)

Ladies, I could use your advice. I consider myself to be a very loving, caring and considerate husband. I do a lot of the regular house work. I cook 95% of the meals when I'm home. I help tidy up in the evenings and usually bath the kids and get them ready for bed. 

But as I think is typical, after 10 years of marriage our day to day routine gets pretty monotonous. We're pretty busy most of the time with some activity. More often then not we're busy on the weekends too. We have a lot of out of town family that comes to stay or we go out of town quite a bit. It's rare we have a weekend at home with nothing to do. 

All in all our relationship is good but I want to find some ways to add a little excitement into it. I am admittedly not the most spontaneous person, I am very much a planner. 

So what I would like is to get suggestions on little things I could do to surprise her, get her excited about the relationship. I'm not trying to fix anything per se. I just want to make sure I'm keeping her interest! so ladies, if you wish your hubby would be a little more spontaneous or plan some fun activites, what would those be?? How could your hubby spice things up in the relationship (not in the bedroom, although if more sex is a side effect I'll be okay with that).


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

I'm not a lady but I slept a Holiday Inn last night. 

Go outside the box. Being a good housekeeper and sharing the duties is great but may not really make her feel special. Something I've done in the past (And should again) was to plan a special night for her...... alone.

I made sure I was home first and drew a warm bath for her. I escorted her in and washed her back for her. Gave her a glass of wine and said "Have a nice evening, I'm taking the kids to dinner and the movies."

When she finished soaking in the tub she went to the family room to find a fire in the fireplace, the rest of the chilled bottle of wine, a new CD playing from one of her favorite artists, a plate of sliced meat, cheese and crackers and a book I purchased for her that I knew she had wanted to read but couldn't find the time. When we got home late that evening she said a quiet evening alone after a long day was a perfect end to the day. She really appreciated it it made her feel special because she knew it was just for her.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

Once when my H picked me up he had my favorite radio station playing. it was the sweetest thing. when he does small things that show me he listened to me, i feel more connected to him.

yesterday he surprised me and picked me up at work and took me to my favorite restaurant. 

he texts me every morning to say he loves me.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Stuff like what's in the above posts is nice. Having the hubby come home and do something unexpected is nice. I'd love it if he came home with a few lobsters and a bottle of wine (that would be awesome!) or say "Let's go out to dinner" or the equivalent unexpectedly. It's hard because he physically works hard during the week and is tired. I'm more of a doer than someone who appreciates gifts. I do like stuff like getting flowers but I'd rather go out and have a good time if given a choice.

On the weekends we usually do fun stuff. We are lucky in that we don't have any familial obligations outside of our own kids, who are in their teens, so weekends are usually free. 

I guess I'd love to have him actually plan a weekend. Seems like I do a lot of the planning and he's good with it. But then again I'm a lot fussier so it's easier to just let me do the planning and go along with it.


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## Mal74 (Dec 24, 2009)

Last week H cancelled a business trip without letting me know. The car came to take him to the airport and we said our goodbyes. 20 minutes later the doorbell rang and there he was with our regular babysitter, who had a bag of her own packed. H said, "the car can wait here for 20 minutes while you get dressed and pack a bag for overnight. GO!"

He took me out to my favorite restaurant and we spent the night in quite a fancy hotel. When I asked him why, he said, "because I love you, and I love having fun with you." We had quite a lot of fun, and then I got to have him home for the whole week.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Go to marriagebuilders.com and print out the Love Buster and Emotional Needs questionnaires. It will tell you what is REALLY important to her. For example, she may feel deprived (seriously!) that you do all the cooking. 

You simply don't know until you know. So fill out the questionnaires to get a good handle on what specific things WILL make her feel loved.

Now, on to the rut, pick some things on this list and apply them:
Read a book together
Take turns picking out a movie to watch
Bring out the board games, at least once a week
Start a solitaire club with some neighbors or friends, play solitaire against each other one night a week or month
Start gardening together
Grow herbs/vegetables/fruits
Take walks
Start a sport together; take classes at a community college, such as racquetball or volleyball
Get bikes and start riding bikes together
Sign up for an MS 150 and train for the bike ride all year
Plan some day trips, start taking one every month
Try out one new restaurant every week, take turns choosing and surprising the other with it
Go to bookstore and get a book like “52 great invitations to sex” in which you both have 26 invitations for a special evening to invite the other one, and you set it up, give the other the invitation (included in book) and then put on the evening
Join an online gaming community together (but don’t get addicted!)
Buy a Wii or Guitar Hero and play together
Give each other foot rubs
Take massage class together and practice giving each other massages
Go back to school together
Get a pet, take it to obedience school and learn to train it (if applicable)
Join a neighborhood dinner club or other club
Volunteer together
Join a church or get more involved in your church
Take a cooking class together and take turns cooking for each other
Go to HGTV.com and pick out a project to do for your house together
Take free classes at Home Depot on how to fix something at your house
Start a business together
Organize a block party
Organize a family reunion
Start working with a financial planner or learn about stocks together
Take dancing lessons together; if you like it, start entering in competitions
Go online for your city and look up 'activities' and 'family' and maybe even 'free' if your city is big enough; subscribe to those websites and go there every month to look for upcoming activities you can all do together; you can find plays, music events, art things, sports things, picnics, etc.


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## PeasNCarrots (Apr 5, 2010)

As a woman, all of the above would be wonderful.... maybe with the exception of alot of the stuff on Turnera's list.... For me its the little tiny things that do it for me. The gestures that tell me my man thinks of me when im not right there, or a mushy "I Love You" card for no good reason other than to say it. My X used to buy me roses, real, fake, glass, didnt matter, half of them were from the gas station but it didnt matter, they were a thought from the heart.......


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

PeasNCarrots said:


> As a woman, all of the above would be wonderful.... maybe with the exception of alot of the stuff on Turnera's list.... For me its the little tiny things that do it for me. The gestures that tell me my man thinks of me when im not right there, or a mushy "I Love You" card for no good reason other than to say it. My X used to buy me roses, real, fake, glass, didnt matter, half of them were from the gas station but it didnt matter, they were a thought from the heart.......


Now see, that's why the Love Buster and Emotional Needs questionnaires are SO important. Every single person is different. And if you think you're making your spouse happy by building a birdhouse, when she's steaming because you didn't buy her flowers, you're going to have problems. The questionnaires allow you to tell the TRUTH in a nonconfrontational way, so you know HOW to please your spouse.

In MY case, my husband never does ANYTHING around the house (except mowing) - unless he wants sex. The other night, it had been several days...so he folded four towels that had been sitting on the couch. That's his way of saying "I'm horny, and now the housework is out of the way, so you can't say no." *sigh*

For our recent 30th anniversary, he asked me what I wanted, he'd buy me whatever I wanted. I said, "Thank you, but you KNOW that all I want is to get the house in order." He said he would. He didn't even take me out to dinner that day, just went home and watched tv. That was a month ago. He hasn't done a single thing in the house since, except fold those four towels and turn on the dishwasher this morning on his way out.

So, to me, acts of service are HUGE. While I couldn't care less if I get flowers or the usual bottle of perfume I never asked for and don't want. (and which he only buys because he gets a free gift with it, which he then uses as my NEXT present later in the year)

See how it works?

You have to KNOW your wife, to know what matters to her. THEN you can really get her to be crazy about you, and be dying to make YOU happy. On the rare occasion he ever does anything to help get the house in order, I'm so over the moon that he is sure to get an awesome evening, cos I'm so happy that day.


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