# Ran into OM in store yesterday.



## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

I know it been a long time (10 years) since my wife had the first PA with him. I ran into him as turned the corner to buy some beer. Have not seen him in a long time but it suddenly brought back resentment and pain. I write this to let all the WSs here know the damage they do goes on a very long time. I am not one to show much emotion but this has rocked my core. If only for short time...I hope.


----------



## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Sorry that happened, but you are 100% right - time doesn't pass inside your memory bank and even if you've moved past the pain and reconciled the past, all it takes is a simple trigger to make it as if it were yesterday.

This is one of the reasons I'm glad we're moving 1200 miles away. I'll never run into the xOM. ESPECIALLY on my golf course!

That sucked.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

OM lives less than 5 miles away from me and I'm amazed I haven't run into him yet. Not sure how I will react either


----------



## JustGrinding (Oct 26, 2012)

SomedayDig said:


> I'll never run into the xOM. ESPECIALLY on my golf course!
> 
> That sucked.


Seems to me that bumping into OM while carrying a bag full of various and assorted heavy metal implements would be some sort of ideal.

Maybe it's just me . . . 


()


----------



## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

JustGrinding said:


> Seems to me that bumping into OM while carrying a bag full of various and assorted heavy metal implements would be some sort of ideal.
> 
> Maybe it's just me . . .
> 
> ...


I had finished my league round and was sitting at the 19th hole with a Jack and Coke. I saw him in his league, the late league, standing by the 10th tee. My 8 iron was in my hand before I knew it, and the doc I'm usually partnered with looked at me. I must've had a pretty bad look, cuz all he said was "Dig...hey, bud...come back to Earth". I snapped out of it and he asked if I was okay. I told him I would be and put the club back in the bag.

It was the hardest thing to do, as I can be an overly violent person in needed situations. Thank God Doc was there.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

LanieB said:


> Seeing the OM/OW - that kind of trigger is the gift that keeps on giving.


Yeah. It choked me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

I saw the exOW on Monday. Will be seeing her a lot more too as our work places have now merged.
It sucks but in some ways it has empowered me. I held my head up high and didnt flinch, she on the other hand, looked away immediately and stared at the floor!
Yes she should be ashamed of herself and i hope thats what she feels.


----------



## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> OM lives less than 5 miles away from me and I'm amazed I haven't run into him yet. Not sure how I will react either


I'm in the same boat AR, less than 5 miles away and haven't run into him in almost two years. I live in a small town so the odds won't hold up forever.

Like you, I'm not sure what I'll do.


----------



## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

As I have written poetry over the last 40 years I guess today is as good as any to add a page to my book.


----------



## JustGrinding (Oct 26, 2012)

SomedayDig said:


> It was the hardest thing to do, as I can be an overly violent person in needed situations. Thank God Doc was there.


It's always nice to have a companion who can keep us from reacting with passion. Violence, as revenge, is a dish best served cold.

OM saw me exactly twice for a total of no more than 10 or 15 seconds. That was thirty pounds ago, and I look very, very different now. I suspected he wouldn't recognize me and put it to the test by walking right past him and looking him in the eye in a conference center parking lot last summer. He just nodded and stupidly said hello. Clueless.

He destroyed my life and, due to my wife's Herculean efforts to protect him, walked away without consequence.

He doesn't know that I'm in an Apohele orbit around his life, invisible in society's glare. He doesn't know that I've rebuilt his life, know every place he's lived, know his family members and where they live, and pieced together his upbringing in a family that aspired to reach the level of trailer park trash.

He's the successful one in his family (40+, never married, worked in retail for the same company since graduating high school).

I'm not so arrogant as to jump in the driver's seat of the karma bus, but I'm quietly sitting in the back, and when it finally does catch up with him, I'm going to be there and personally ensure it stops and backs over him.

Repeatedly.


----------



## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

I ruined the xOM's professional life. That was good enough for me. My fist would only break his nose or jaw. Those will heal. Him being an attorney? Not so much.


----------



## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

H's OW was our next door neighbor. Now, it's a rural area and I can't see her house from mine, so she's not _that_ in my face. But, I do run into her from time to time driving on our road, at the mailbox, and I can sometimes hear her when she's out on her dock with her current married lover. 

Oh, and when I had an episode of syncope late last year, she was on duty in the ER when they took me in. I had to request they round me up another nurse. Because "she had an affair with my husband before she took up with her current married man." I said it calmly and without batting an eye. They did, indeed, find me another nurse. Apparently that little episode made the rounds of the hospital and beyond for days afterward.

Big fun.


----------



## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

For some reason I like hearing Tales of what happened to om/ow Karma wise. My ex-wife is currently sitting in state jail for drug use, the ex-OM is sitting in club fed he was busted big time and I am sure he is bubba's B!tch by now although my divorce was in 1992 things didnt work out so well for the lovely couple my ex and my ex-best friend, nothing changes nothing changes I on the other hand have had a great life and have really been blessed professionally and personally. Next Month will be 13 years for me and my 2nd wife to have been married.


----------



## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

If there is any real Karma in this world. I'd love to hear he's in a completely sexless marriage.


----------



## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

What was the response from your wife when you told her?


----------



## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

bryanp said:


> What was the response from your wife when you told her?


"I'm sorry"


----------



## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

badmemory said:


> I'm in the same boat AR, less than 5 miles away and haven't run into him in almost two years. I live in a small town so the odds won't hold up forever.
> 
> Like you, I'm not sure what I'll do.


I live a block away from my ex-wife. We are in a community of about 5500 people and she had EA's/PA's with several men. Some of them are influential business people and I work in the media, so I have to interact with them on a weekly/monthly basis. Even have to conduct interviews with some of them on occassion, face to face.

It's hard not to cry. It's hard not to forcefeed them through a meatgrinder.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

kingsfan said:


> I live a block away from my ex-wife. We are in a community of about 5500 people and she had EA's/PA's with several men. Some of them are influential business people and I work in the media, so I have to interact with them on a weekly/monthly basis. Even have to conduct interviews with some of them on occassion, face to face.
> 
> It's hard not to cry. It's hard not to forcefeed them through a meatgrinder.


Yikes, kingsfan!  
That's dreadful for you! Do they know?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## BenDeToy (May 12, 2013)

I thought I saw the OM a bit back. Wasn't him as it turned out but I went to confront him without even processing it.

My best revenge thus far is that the story of what he did comes up as the 1st hit on a Google search for his name courtesy of Cheaterville and the fact that over half a million people have read his story and seen his ugly butt picture on there too.


----------



## LostCPA (Apr 15, 2011)

My WW's last OM lived next door at the time. He moved soon after D-day and I haven't seen him since.

Apparently, my WW wasn't the only wife in the neighborhood that he was sleeping with and I heard through another neighbor that the other WS wasn't as controlled as me and beat him bad enough to send him to the hospital.


----------



## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

BenDeToy said:


> I thought I saw the OM a bit back. Wasn't him as it turned out but I went to confront him without even processing it.
> 
> My best revenge thus far is that the story of what he did comes up as the 1st hit on a Google search for his name courtesy of Cheaterville and the fact that over half a million people have read his story and seen his ugly butt picture on there too.


1,794,824 views on our xOM courtesy of Cheaterville and yours truly. #1 return on Google...and thus he went from senior counsel at a law firm of 10 offices around the state to selling the idea of Green Energy to people with an unknown power company.

Karma bus wins.

Truth is I smile every month or so I look at it cuz he f'd my life up. I just did him a lot worse. He picked the wrong wife to screw around with.


----------



## workindad (May 7, 2011)

OP, at least you didn't run into him with your car. That would have been awful... you could have dented your car.


----------



## dusty4 (May 8, 2013)

I completely understand the anger towards the OM/OW. Its absolutely justified.

Where I differ is, that although the OM had a responsibility in the matter to what happened to my family, I held my wife, now x-wife, most responsible for the affair. 

So I guess the question would be is, if I wanted to destroy the OM in my situation, what would have been the fitting response to my wife? I did divorce her, so I suppose that would have been it. I simply didn't want anything to do with either of them. I knew they'd both get what was coming to them sooner or later.


----------



## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

I know what make and model car the OM drives, and he's from out of state, but yesterday I was driving the freeway home and saw that make/model/state plates and triggered massively. Passed the vehicle and saw it was some woman driving it (not the OMW, either).

The chances of me actually running into him are small, but we work in the same industry which seems to be a small world. He lives 400 miles away.


----------



## rrrbbbttt (Apr 6, 2011)

MrBrains said:


> "I'm sorry"


Did you perceive it as she was really sorry and was remorseful for what had occured, or was it a sorry similar to "Sorry, I bumped you" just trying to apease you?


----------



## Lmodel (Jun 1, 2012)

It's been a year since Dday for me and honestly the thoughts of revenge for the OM are something I just can't get past. He was a friend of mine until he and my wife had a 18 month PA which I'm convinced would be in full swing today had they not got caught. Since the affair ended he has lost his house, cars, job and as I understand it his wife has kicked him out and taken him back a couple of times. Seems he is well and truly riding the Karma bus.


----------



## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

Lmodel said:


> It's been a year since Dday for me and honestly the thoughts of revenge for the OM are something I just can't get past. He was a friend of mine until he and my wife had a 18 month PA which I'm convinced would be in full swing today had they not got caught. Since the affair ended he has lost his house, cars, job and as I understand it his wife has kicked him out and taken him back a couple of times. Seems he is well and truly riding the Karma bus.


I dreamed for years of all the different ways I would torture and kill the OM. In the end I didn't want to become someone's ***** in prison and I'm a better man than him. It takes a very long time to get over. Hang in there.


----------



## calmwinds (Dec 10, 2012)

I saw POSOW's car in the parking lot of the grocery a couple months back. She didn't get out until I left. I totally understand the triggers. We live in a small town also.
About two weeks ago, I went to pick up a boat part for my FWH, when I went to the counter I said "J told me to ask for Wayne", and Wayne replied, "Youve seen me before, last year, but I think your hair was blonde." I almost vomited on the counter. He saw it in my face, called J and apologized for the f-up. Total meltdown.


----------



## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> Yikes, kingsfan!
> That's dreadful for you! Do they know?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Do they know that I know?

If that's what you're asking, I'm not sure. I think so, but it depends on what my ex-wife told them.

All of this happened before TAM. I only knew of two people that had been involved in an affair, one was my dad, the other my best friend. My dad was the victim and didn't talk about it much, and my best friend was the purpetrator and so totally different situation. Still is my best friend, love him like a brother, but I agree, no excuse for it. 

So I didn't have any concept of the idea of 'exposing the OM'. Totally get it now, but at that time in my life, I was a much different person, afraid of change, afraid of upsetting the balance in my life (even though in hindsight it was obviously completely unbalanced, but when you get used to that, it is a form of balanced to you somehow). So all I did was demand she stop contact with these people.

Not to mention that I'm someone who doesn't like the spotlight much to begin with and yet I was already in it do to my job.

I left about a year later or so, so I have no idea if she did or didn't really. I came to find out she did start up at least one EA a few months or more before I left (though I didn't find that out until after I left).

Trust me, if I had been coming to TAM when all of it hit the fan several times during our relationship, I'd have made sure the OM knew that I knew. I have a lot more balls than I did back then.


----------



## theroad (Feb 20, 2012)

Rowan said:


> H's OW was our next door neighbor. Now, it's a rural area and I can't see her house from mine, so she's not _that_ in my face. But, I do run into her from time to time driving on our road, at the mailbox, and I can sometimes hear her when she's out on her dock with her current married lover.
> 
> Oh, and when I had an episode of syncope late last year, she was on duty in the ER when they took me in. I had to request they round me up another nurse. Because "she had an affair with my husband before she took up with her current married man." I said it calmly and without batting an eye. They did, indeed, find me another nurse. Apparently that little episode made the rounds of the hospital and beyond for days afterward.
> 
> Big fun.



Pay back is wonderful.


----------



## theroad (Feb 20, 2012)

Many WS will never live on the K bus route so Karma will never come to them.

This is why it is recommended to the recovering WS and BS to move far away from the AP.


----------



## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

theroad said:


> Many WS will never live on the K bus route so Karma will never come to them.
> 
> This is why it is recommended to the recovering WS and BS to move far away from the AP.


OR...you can do both 

As stated, I decimated the dudes life. I have no sympathy there.

And at Christmas while visiting my in-laws in Florida, it was Regret who said she was willing to give up her 16 year career in order to leave this house of triggers and ghosts, as well as the area which has triggers around every corner.

I'm actually driving 1277 miles Sunday for an interview! It's pretty exciting and I'm certain it will help our further healing and reconciliation.


----------



## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

calmwinds said:


> I saw POSOW's car in the parking lot of the grocery a couple months back. She didn't get out until I left. I totally understand the triggers. We live in a small town also.
> About two weeks ago, I went to pick up a boat part for my FWH, when I went to the counter I said "J told me to ask for Wayne", and Wayne replied, "Youve seen me before, last year, but I think your hair was blonde." I almost vomited on the counter. He saw it in my face, called J and apologized for the f-up. Total meltdown.


OUCH, that IS effed up. So sorry for that knife wound.


----------



## Hudson0697 (Dec 22, 2013)

I haven't ran into the OM yet. I know where he works and lives. If I do run into him. It is going to get real ugly real fast. Plan to break his jaw.


----------



## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

Wife #2 cheated on me. Found out after we separated. OM used to sit in his truck and watch me on my job site. Told him to get lost after he tried "explaining." I didn't want to here it and told him payback will be a bit--. He ups the ante and shows up with his co workers and makes smart little comments about how I said payback was a bit-- and couldn't live up to my word. I did.

His wife and I had many conversations that he didn't know about. Told her about him showing up and rubbing my nose in it. Pissed us both off. One day she came over to my house and one thing led to another and I paid him back. Then I paid him back again. Found out she has this cute little tattoo on her bottom.

Was I wrong. Yeah, no doubt I was. She was still married, I wasn't. He kept it up with the comments and I finally looked at him and said "____ Your the better man and I know when I'm beat. I guess I can't compete with you." He strutted around like a rooster and I let him and to this day, he still has no idea. I wanted to tell him about that cute little tattoo but I didn't want his wife to get into trouble. The end result was my ex cheated on him while she was cheating on me and he found out by walking in on her with another guy. Double whammy.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Hudson0697 said:


> I haven't ran into the OM yet. I know where he works and lives. If I do run into him. It is going to get real ugly real fast. Plan to break his jaw.


*Please don't.*

No point in getting into hassle with the law over a POS.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Intimidation is a fine art and can be devastating.
Never been a BS but if so, OM would be made to relocate, no ifs, ands, or buts. 
OM/OW have no legs to stand on and if your confident enough and have a mean streak, their lives will be a living hell until they get away from you.:FIREdevil::FIREdevil::FIREdevil:


----------



## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

ConanHub said:


> Intimidation is a fine art and can be devastating.
> Never been a BS but if so, OM would be made to relocate, no ifs, ands, or buts.
> OM/OW have no legs to stand on and if your confident enough and have a mean streak, their lives will be a living hell until they get away from you.:FIREdevil::FIREdevil::FIREdevil:


Or until you get served with a Protection Order/Restraining Order.


----------



## illwill (Feb 21, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> *Please don't.*
> 
> No point in getting into hassle with the law over a POS.


In real life if you get in a fight you go to jail. Its not like a dolemite movie.


----------



## Rugs (Apr 12, 2013)

My husband had several internet skanks. Looking at them always made me feel better. They were so gross and hard Looking that I knew it wasn't me that made him cheat. 

He's just a twisted guy. I thought they deserved each other.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

lordmayhem said:


> Or until you get served with a Protection Order/Restraining Order.


Plenty of lawful ways. OM/OW have humiliated themselves.


----------



## hawx20 (Jan 10, 2013)

In my case, I can completely decimate every facet of the OMs life. Not only do I have complete proof of the affair, I also have his SS#, DL#, DOB, and home address.

I know where his wife works, what gym she goes to, her cell and work numbers....I can contact her at anytime I want. He knows this.

I havent told his wife yet. I cannot imagine what life must be like knowing someone can destroy it at anytime. He was having an affair with my wife while his was pregnant. He has a 6 month old, so like Kanye said "18 years, 18 years. She got one of your kids, got you for 18 years" plus EVERYTHING is in her name. Yeah, hes screwed and he knows that phone call can come at anytime. 

I'm just gonna let him sweat for a while before I bring the rain.


----------



## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> OM lives less than 5 miles away from me and I'm amazed I haven't run into him yet. Not sure how I will react either


Please do not react. Let your cars bumper react for you instead..... 

Peace and Happy Holidays.

HM


----------



## Chris989 (Jul 3, 2012)

Still going strong with my slow campaign against my ex's POS. Click the link in my sig for more info.

I've started to shift things into the next gear. New Year will be even more difficult for him than last.

Edit: I should say some of it is quite subtle and to an extent you have to be up on some...issues in the area he works in.


----------



## Singledude21 (Feb 21, 2013)

6301 said:


> Then I paid him back again. Found out she has this cute little tattoo on her bottom.


----------



## ne9907 (Jul 17, 2013)

I recently saw one of my ex's OW (ONS), he still keeps in touch with her. The OW's husband bragged how wonderful and amazing she is as a wife and mother. I wanted to send the OW's husband a message saying " Too bad she cheated on you"
Husband has no idea, but I am letting it go. I will go message him anything, This little ONS happened so many years ago. It is very tempting to message him with the truth.


----------



## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

hawx20 said:


> In my case, I can completely decimate every facet of the OMs life. Not only do I have complete proof of the affair, I also have his SS#, DL#, DOB, and home address.
> 
> I know where his wife works, what gym she goes to, her cell and work numbers....I can contact her at anytime I want. He knows this.
> 
> ...


"Revenge, a dish best served cold"


----------



## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

ne9907 said:


> I recently saw one of my ex's OW (ONS), he still keeps in touch with her. The OW's husband bragged how wonderful and amazing she is as a wife and mother. I wanted to send the OW's husband a message saying " Too bad she cheated on you"
> Husband has no idea, but I am letting it go. I will go message him anything, This little ONS happened so many years ago. It is very tempting to message him with the truth.


Do it. He. Deserves to know.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## jupiter13 (Jun 8, 2012)

My WH OW ended up arrested for DV but they dropped the charges. Her husband currently has 3 arrest warrants and they are getting a divorce. I can't tell what date they actually filed but it wasn't too long after D-Day so things went to H~ll for them afterward too. I still would like to know what they look like. I fear the day we are at Walmart/Kmart and they would walk up to say hi. I wouldn't know who they are would be kind in return. I don't want to have that happen. I was thinking about pretending I'm collecting signatures for a petition and just happen to go to their door just to see. I can handle that. Now my brother however would love to know where hey live but I have not told him. He is someone to fear and you don't mess with his baby sister.


----------

