# wife is coming over to talk with me tomorrow



## whutitdew420 (Jun 9, 2012)

ok me and my wife have been separated for a month and a half. it was all over trust issues and people spreading rumors. at first she didnt want to have anything to do with working things out. i tried showing her how much i cared and i would change ect. but that just made her mad.

i started to just focus on myself and my daughter still talking to my wife when i would get my daughter but it was just small talk. the other day my mom talked to her and my wife told her she thought i wasnt wanting to work things out and after a couple days i called her and told her that i was always gonna be here for her and got into my feelings again.

i eventually just said instead of doing this on the phone or whatever lets just take a few hours and sit down just us two and talk about why we made each other feel the way we did. i was so glad she agreed and she even promised she wouldnt bail on me. i was worried about that because in the beginning of the separation she told me a few times she would come over and blew me off.

any time i tried to take her out for lunch or get her to go to the park with me she always had the lamest excuse or would get mad. so im just wanting to get it out of my system and im trying not to get my hopes up so if she just sits there while i say how i feel then say she doesnt know or if she is planning on telling me worse, but this is the only time i have had when she agreed to sit down and talk to me so i want it to go smooth.

i cant say if she for whatever reason said she wanted to move back in i wouldnt let her cuz i would, but i dont think we should tho until we at least start to work on our issues. so if anyone has any advice or anything i would appreciate it. if this does go bad i think the way i have been dealing with things mostly, that i have been for the most part focusing on myself and my daughter, it wont be as bad as if i were still begging for her to come back


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## BronteVillette (Jun 16, 2012)

If I caught this right, it sounds like she has been reluctant to share her feelings with you during this process so far. If you can manage it, try to let her take the lead when you meet. 

I've been told before that time is not a bad thing. Perhaps if you reassure her that you are willing to take it slow and not pressure her to make any quick decisions it will help. 

From what I've learned from your posts before, you sound like you are on fairly solid ground and handling things with dignity and strength. Good for you! What ever happens, she did agree to meet and that is a positive step.

Wishing you the best.


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

Be prepared for the worst heartache, because that's most likely what you're going to face.


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## whutitdew420 (Jun 9, 2012)

Today kept looking like my wife was going to end up bailing on me again, but she came over and we both opened up about everything and cried together, laughed together, held each other and made a huge step towards fixing things.

I almost lost her by listening to synthetic when I tried letting her go. I think he was done wrong and hates it so much that he thinks everyone should just give up. Every relationship is different. The problems may be similar but every couples bond is unique and they are the only ones who truly know what is best.

I would rather of lost her while I was showing her I loved her than to not have tried at all. I see synthetic post the same thing about no contact on almost every post he comments on. In some cases that may be the thing to do but not always.

But I feel better today than I have in years!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TBT (Dec 20, 2011)

synthetics heart is in the right place,but you have to realize that we all posts our opinions based on what we see in your posts.You make the final decision on what advise may or may not work in your situation.Take what you need and leave the rest.Glad you're feeling better today! Take care.


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

I'm very happy for you and apologize if you think my opinion nearly caused you to lose your wife. I'm sincerely sorry.

You were sounding very desperate and in great pain, so I suggested you show less vulnerability to your wife for the time being. This approach has helped many of us gain a bit of control over the situation and realize our self-worth.

Please talk about the details of your conversation with your wife and what compromises each one of you have agreed to make in order for your marriage to work. It would be a good lesson for those who may not have tried your approach.

Thanks and sorry again.


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## whutitdew420 (Jun 9, 2012)

hey i didnt realize that i was being a little harsh. i dont mean anything personally but kinda felt like you came off a little ****y when you said "Be prepared for the worst heartache, because that's most likely what you're going to face." i wasnt gonna get my hopes up but i needed this either way it went.

i couldnt just let her go because she is stubborn and would lose me before she would make the first move to step up and say how she really feels. i knew she was afraid to get hurt again and she would rather deal with losing me than to ever be hurt by me again.

i know a lot of people may say that they know their spouse still loves them and i may have sounded desperate, but i really knew that she was keeping it in and trying to be strong about it.

so i hope you dont take it personally and i do appreciate that you helped me and you did give me some good advice on things.


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## whutitdew420 (Jun 9, 2012)

im going to bed tho i will post some of the things we discussed after work tomorrow. good luck to anyone who needs it.


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