# Im married but have a mistress



## Mc910308 (Feb 22, 2017)

e


----------



## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Do you have a question?


----------



## Mc910308 (Feb 22, 2017)

This is the first time i have shared


----------



## Mc910308 (Feb 22, 2017)

My question is it wrong to have a mistress if its saving my marige as i love my wife but i need tge passionate side of life aswell


----------



## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

I can't think of a time it is OK to have a mistress?!

Is it OK for your wife to be banging some guy while you are gone?

I understand you aren't getting enough at home right now. You guys have chosen to have two babies. Your wife is exhuasted. Maybe if you helped her more around the house instead of having sex with your geezer former neighbor she wouldn't be so tired and you would BOTH be able to enjoy more sex.

SHAME ON YOU. YOU ARE A LOW DOWN DIRTY DOG CHEATER WITH NO MORALS.

You want to sleep around? Divorce your wife, and do it while you are single. I feel SO sorry for your wife and kids. You disgust me that you are daring to ask if this is OK?


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Mc910308 said:


> Hi all advice to wrong or right im 25 married wen i was 21 all was well till we had our too beautifull kids but for the last year we havnt had sex much at all and i have tryed to talk about it but gets brushed off any way i was at my mums house doing some work for her where i had lived for 22 year of my life and i had to go in the neabours garden to do some bits from that side and we was chatting shes 48 as she had been there all as long as i remember so we knew each other over tine we was talking and she made me a drink and i carryed on working she had gone in and said anything you need just shout so finished what i had to do and needed to leave going tru her house and she said upstairs so i went to bottom of tge stairs and shouted out thanks for letting me in ur garden and she came to the top of the stairs and said welcom and wheb i looked up she was just in bra and knickers and i just looked abd smiled and she walked down and kissed me i was shocked and left it like that but i ended up doing more work tge next week just to seee her and well i didnt actually get anything done as i was pleasing her *please dont judge* message me any questions or advice


*No more than you seem to be judging the TAM readership!*


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

If your wife knows about--and approves--of you having a mistress, then you're good. Otherwise, you're not. it may seem like it's saving your marriage, but what happens if your wife finds out? She could, you know - and then what happens to your marriage? I suspect nothing good.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

> I'm married but have a mistress


You are cheating on your wife, you are cheating on your children. You are, also, cheating on your mistress. If you weren't filling her head with nonsense she'd have a man of her own and not have to borrow your wife's man and the borrow the father of your children. Do you see where I'm coming from?

*Stop cheating!*


----------



## tropicalbeachiwish (Jun 1, 2016)

Mc910308 said:


> My question is it wrong to have a mistress if its saving my marige as i love my wife but i need tge passionate side of life aswell


Help us understand your thought process on this one. How does getting some on the side help save your marriage?


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

"please dont judge"

Seriously, is that your biggest concern?

Either way, too late.


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

tropicalbeachiwish said:


> Help us understand your thought process on this one. How does getting some on the side help save your marriage?


You first have to work from the realization that he is -- and will likely remain -- a moral coward unwilling to a) bring his issues to his wife AND b) work w/ her to address them in a manner befitting someone w/ any sort of recognizable integrity.


----------



## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

Your post needs paragraphs. And full stops.


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Mc910308 said:


> i love my wife but i need tge passionate side of life aswell


I understand needing the passionate side of life, and love is rarely enough. Your *ethical* options are to a) ask your wife to provide passion, but you may have to provide her needs too, especially if you are not now; b) negotiate an open relationship with her; or c) divorce her and find someone else to love who has mutual passion


----------



## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

Married but Happy said:


> I understand needing the passionate side of life, and love is rarely enough. Your *ethical* options are to a) ask your wife to provide passion, but you may have to provide her needs too, especially if you are not now; b) negotiate an open relationship with her; or c) divorce her and find someone else to love who has mutual passion


Very good advise here!!!

I was in a marriage for 24 years where my husband was emotionally unavailable. He was not the type to hold hands or express his feelings for me. He liked sex and for the most part I was the one initiating as this was the only affection in the marriage. But it was empty, very very empty and with time even the sex was robotical and lacked any kind of connection. My emotional needs were not being met and I finally gave up on trying to get those met thru my husband. I never had an affair, never went searching elsewhere. I had tried, counselors could not help us so I left. To cheat on my husband although he was not available to me would have been wrong. When one is caught up in an affair they take away the time they should be spending cultivating the marriage. One thing about this lady you met....it is new and exciting but what will it look like when you have been with her as many years as you have been with your wife. Are you looking for new and exciting? If you love your wife you need to find out what she needs of you and how you can improve your marriage. If your wife honestly and sincerely cannot or will not talk to you about what she needs from you to bring the romance back into the marriage then maybe it is time to walk away. Walking away from your wife and children all to seek sex from "new supply" is a huge step and one that you might find yourself repeating as the needs you are looking to have met might not be able to come from a committed relationship.


----------



## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Mc910308 said:


> My question is it wrong to have a mistress if its saving my marige as i love my wife but i need tge passionate side of life aswell


I have a mistress and I have to say that it drastically helps my marriage. She is only imaginary and I created her out of the mental image of my own wife. While I do not hide the imaginary mistress version of my wife from my real wife, I have managed to convey somehow to my wife that doing this is just me fantasizing about her. ...wait a minute... 

****!

Never mind, I just discovered I don't have a mistress after all...

Badsanta


----------



## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

Mc910308 said:


> My question is it wrong to have a mistress if its saving my marige as i love my wife but i need tge passionate side of life aswell


It's not saving your marriage long term, what if this 48 year old mistress wants to be with you in a relationship? Do you think she'll be happy just being your mistress forever? 

Play with fire and eventually you get burned. It's only a matter of time before your wife finds out. 


Sent from my F3311 using Tapatalk


----------



## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

And proper spelling and grammar. Boy, that was hard to understand!



Satya said:


> Your post needs paragraphs. And full stops.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Due to the fact that the OP did not "get what he was looking for" and gutted his post, this thread is being closed down.


----------

