# About to divorce over no kids



## agape (Jul 25, 2010)

My husband and I are at a loss of what to do. We both love each other. We've been seeing a therapist. 
Here are the facts: He does not want to have kids, I do. He has two teenage kids. I'm 32, he is 46. We have been married for 6 years (almost). The first year of marriage, I cheated on my husband after he was away on business. Yes, he found out. We got lots of counseling after that. My counselor seemed to think my sexual abuse in past had a lot to do with my infidelity. 
I'm not sure how and if we should go through divorce. Can you love someone and still give up a dream of a family?


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## agape (Jul 25, 2010)

I know this sounds really dumb typing my story, but it's still hard to deal with. Thanks for listening.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

You get one life - and you only have so long.

Not sure how the cheating and other fit in, but if having kids is important to you, and your husband refuses, you have a very important decision to make.

Just me - I would hate to look back when I'm 60 and think "I wish I would have..." with something as big as having children.


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## agape (Jul 25, 2010)

Thanks for your advice.

I cheated on him becuase I was lonely. He traveled a lot and just worked all the time. I think I was bored?

I agree - you do only get one life. I just feel scared to start again in my 30s.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

The cheating was just plain wrong - not matter why. I guess I'm trying to ignore that part.

Kids are awesome. I really can't imagine not having them. Sounds like one of those issues you should have made sure you agreed on before you got married, but that's somewhat irrelevant now I guess. Woulda, coulda, shoulda...


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## agape (Jul 25, 2010)

I agree, it was definitely wrong. I flirted with this guy online and my husband "caught" me talking to him. Then, his cure for us was to go to sex clubs. Then, I cheated on him with someone we did a threesome with. 
Yes, kids are great. And we did talk about kids before marriage, but he is now older and I cheated on him...so thinking are more complex now.


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## Wisp (Jul 17, 2010)

At the end of the day your marriage is under strain and you want kids. To be very blunt you can put the time and effort in to the marriage and I am sure time will heal all wounds but you will miss the slot to have your own children. You husband is not in any hurry to have more children and will probably never support this. 

You are caught in a cycle of distrust and very little opportunity of having your own family

For yourself, you are young, and attractive, prime of life.

Personal view is move on, find someone more compatible to you and your needs, fall in love, do not cheat, no threesomes, just good family values and indeed have children. 

Your call..


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## agape (Jul 25, 2010)

WISP - you are totally right about the infidelity issues - we both agree that was a huge mistake. Leaving is just the issue, we you love someone it's hard.


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