# My ex has a rebound.



## 1-12-t1 (Aug 7, 2011)

I broke up with her about a month ago. She was my first and i just cant move on. I just cant stop thinkin about her. Shes lied to me, had emotional affairs, and slept with other guys. Im in love with the girl i used to know, but i just cant seem to see her as the person she is now and be disgusted. I saw her at college the other day, hickies all over her neck. It tore me up, and now i hear that shes with him. And the get together i was at last night said that this guy and his brother she hit both of them up when i was away for college. Also the other man she hooked up with said the same thing, that "she hit him up." I broke up with her because i know she lied, and keeps lying. Why cant i stop thinking about her? having dreams about her? she makes me sick thinking shes with other guys. absolutely sick. its disgusting. And i know shes slept with plenty of guys when i was gone and i thought even though we were official that we had loyalty, at least i did. Do i go after her? I love her so much but i feel that itll never work. What can i do? Should i text her? She was my girl my first love my world. i just want to work things out. i know shes a liar but i just want her that much more...


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## Mike188 (Dec 29, 2009)

How old are you?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 1-12-t1 (Aug 7, 2011)

im 20... makes it sound dumb now but i just thought she was the one... i spent 2 whole years with her just her. i lost all my friends everything. we were best friends and were inseperable


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

You guys broke up. This isn't a rebound, she's just dating. She is young, let her be young!


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## 1-12-t1 (Aug 7, 2011)

a month after? i just feel like if i dont step up and do something ill lose her. but i left her for a reason. Shes a liar and she tried to put it all on me. why cant i see that shes no good for me? why do i still dream about her?


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Omg. Go date people! She isn't coming back, she isn't into you any more. She's what, 19? 20? 21? She's young and wants to be young.

I am sorry to be so blunt but you constantly write about this. Maybe you should seek our professional help with your obsession. 

She isn't coming back.


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## 2yearsince (Sep 20, 2011)

Pretty harsh. 20 or 40 in age, people hurt the same. I was married at 20. 1st GF or wife of 20yrs should not matter. Love is love and breaking up hurts. Some people are more mature at 20 than most 40yr olds. 

As for 1-12, sucks but be happy you saw this side now vs later in life. You have your whole life ahead. Take time to heal, if you need talk to someone. Iknow it doesnt seem like it but in time it gets better. Maybe not next week or month but sometime you will be ok. Dont settle in life. If she doesnt treat you exactly like you treat her and how you want to be treated you probably would not end up happily ever after. Easier said than done I know


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Well, pain is one thing, but his problem is always the same and that's not healthy when she shows no signs of wanting to come back. 

The advice you gave is advice already given. He should go be young and enjoy this time in his life without this drama.


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## Mike188 (Dec 29, 2009)

I had a devastating break up about about 21. It felt really bad at the time. I'm sure you hurt just as much as anyone else on this forum. 

Looking back at it now I am happy that I didn't wind up marrying that selfish *****. She was no damn good. I hope a year from now I feel the same way. Only now it's waaaayyyy more complicated.

Coming here could be a great opportunity for you. You need to read every post on this forum. But all the books for men that are recommended. Read about all the men whose wives went off the deep end and try to understand why. Then go find (very carefully) a woman that you can spend the rest of your life with. I know it sucks to see someone turn into something that you don't recognize.


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## Separated79 (May 28, 2011)

If she's in rebound then she can't cope pain and it's the way probably how she handle break up going from one relationship to another.
I been through same pain before that feels like you get sick but trust me it does really goes away after time...
Give yourself some self-respect which obviously she hasn't
You will get through this stage of life your young,and I'm pretty sure you will find someone who will appreciate you.
Best thing you can do is really to move on and stop thinking about her.
Go to gym to make yourself better and look better and all this you are going through will pass...

My husband is in a rebound after a month too...i did get hurt.
I just thought if he wasn't committed in our marriage
I don't think it will do work on a rebound too....


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## 2yearsince (Sep 20, 2011)

Yeah you will hear lots of negatives and postives here. Take them both with a grain of salt. No 2 people are exactly the same and react the same. I am emotional for a guy, I dont move on fast and have a hard time letting go. I'd feel just like you likely and I did at 19. I then met my wife 1 year later. You never what will come. Just be sure to know what you want in a person and be strong enough to wait for it. Pretty smiles, hot body, funny, all those things are nice but if you dont get everything you need (not want) you will not be happy and likely to go through this again and again. I settled, didnt think so at the time but looking back I did. Had a hard situation and did what I thought I should do and felt I wanted to do. I had not experienced life enough to know what I want or needed or was healthy. Take some time, talk to people, get involved back in life. In a few weeks you will feel a little better and every month it will get easier. Faster for some, slower for others but time really does heal


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

> I had not experienced life enough to know what I want or needed or was healthy. Take some time, talk to people, get involved back in life.


Exactly 

Although I think this has been longer than a month...I've been here 4 months and he was around during that time with this same issue.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

She's had multiple sex partners, how disgusting. Get tested for STDs. With so many guys she's slept with, there is more than a good chance that she's gotten one of those nasty 'gifts that keeps on giving' and you need to know if you now have it. Good luck.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

1-12-t1 said:


> a month after? i just feel like if i dont step up and do something ill lose her. but i left her for a reason. Shes a liar and she tried to put it all on me. why cant i see that shes no good for me? why do i still dream about her?


Hate to break it to you, but you did lose her. You're broken up. Time to forget about her and move on. Either take a break from dating anyone, or date someone else. Or get some counseling of you want help getting over her. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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