# Sexual Changes After Hysterectomy



## ButWeAreStrange (Feb 2, 2018)

Hello! My husband has previously posted but I think I'm officially taking over the username since we received some good feedback in the past. 

So the situation is that I am 26 years old and about three weeks away from having a total hysterectomy. Long story short, I have PCOS and its complications (along with genetic factors) has led me to the threshold of endometrial cancer. I haven't had a confirmed diagnosis yet, but my doctor took a biopsy which proved inconclusive and said that due to the risk factor and there being no other treatment options, that a hysterectomy is my best route. I'll be keeping my ovaries for hormone production, but everything else apparently has to go. I've already made peace with this decision, but my husband and I have been wondering how this may change our sex life. I know that it's pretty much a trial by fire sort of thing, but I was hoping to get some advice or heads-up from post-op women and anyone who has ever been the partner of one. 

I know my husband is anxious about the procedure, but I keep reminding him that ultimately I'm willing to relearn sex with him if sacrificing this part of me ensures that we grow old together.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

I haven't had a hysterectomy, but know many women who have. 

Will you be losing your cervix, as well? Some women like cervical bumping during sex and if the cervix is removed that sensation is no longer available to the woman or her partner.

My sister said that the doctor recommended 6-8 weeks before resuming sex, but she needed between 10-12 weeks before she physically felt healed enough. The wait can be rough. Don't count down the days to avoid disappointment because there is always a chance you might not be ready as soon as hoped.

Some women I know experienced feelings of being "less woman" and really needed a LOT of reassurance their husbands still found them sexy, feminine, and didn't see them as defective. Your DH might need to do a bit extra for a while.


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## ButWeAreStrange (Feb 2, 2018)

Yes I will be losing my cervix as well which is a bit of disappointment since the cervical bumping has always been one of my favorite sexual experiences. I tried discussing it with my doctor but he said that it has to go, there really isn't any way around it. I've heard that for some women the overall experience of sex and orgasms changes, sometimes for the better or increases in intensity. Unfortunately I don't personally know anyone who has had the procedure so I feel a bit like I'm stumbling in the dark about it.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Hmm,

Did you get a second opinion?


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## FrazzledSadHusband (Jul 3, 2014)

Maybe some info here you could find useful.

https://forgivenwife.com/dealing-with-vulvovaginal-atrophy-without-hormones/


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

I had a hysterectomy - uterus, both fallopian tubes and one ovary removed - at age 34. My procedure was laparoscopic, so at least there was no large incision. However, the small incisions didn't heal as quickly as hoped, nor did my internal wounds. It was a solid 12 weeks before my incisions were completely healed and I was pain free and didn't need to be careful of how I moved. Whatever you do, do not rush the healing process. You're likely to reach a point after a week or two where you feel "pretty normal" and overdo it, leaving yourself weak, sweating, and in pain for days afterward. Save yourself the misery and take the time you need to heal properly. 

As for post-op sex, I haven't had any negative side effects from the surgery once I healed. I still have my cervix, so I can't speak to that. I will say that orgasms do feel a bit different. The uterus is gone, so the uterine contractions that used to accompany my orgasms are missing. It's not a bad feeling, and orgasms are still very enjoyable, they just feel somewhat different than they did before. Honestly, at this point, I've gotten used to it and don't feel like I'm missing anything in any way.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

My wife, Mary, had a complete hysterectomy, with lower pelvic organ rebuild, in July of last year.

Yes, the poor girl I pick on all the time.

She jokes no one can say she is hysterical any more, because she no longer has a uterus, which is the cause of hysteria!

And she coyly asks me if I'm sure I want to have sex with her since she's not a real woman any more. Yes, people say things like that!

Mary is 62 years old, and was at the time of the hysterectomy last year. She elected to keep her ovaries. She did not keep her cervix. The doctor would not have left it, and I recommended against her keeping it, as well. 

Mary had 3 babies, and was torn up pretty badly during the third childbirth, but in '83 the doctors were not sympathetic as long as things worked. She had suffered anterior and posterior prolapse. 

With the pelvic floor rebuild her vagina is tighter, noticeably. We both like that.

Mary did not experience vaginal orgasms before, and still does not.

Mary never had any problem with lubrication, and still has no problem getting very wet.

Mary found having her cervix bumped to be uncomfortable, and we had to avoid it. Most of our sex was foreplay, so we hadn't noticed it much, but now it isn't a concern at all.

Mary's sex drive was high, and continues to be high. She is not sexually aggressive, but she is highly responsive, and she masturbates often. Her idea of being aggressive is to start reading erotic stories out loud and masturbating. I always get involved in some way. I can't keep up with her, but I can certainly get involved.

So after the hysterectomy our sex life has not been slowed down at all.

During recovery she was not allowed to have an orgasm. She asked her doctor several times when she could resume masturbation. He said no sex specifically meant no orgasms for her, with me or through masturbation. 

I tried to abstain to suffer along with her. She teased me mercilessly, and I couldn't manage to avoid letting Mary give me blowjobs. I don't see how she managed to get through it.

Mary cheated towards the end of her recovery. She started masturbating again at about 4 weeks after the surgery. I scolded her, but such is life. We waited to have sex until about 9 weeks after surgery because she still had stitches. 

Mary has said she wished I had dragged her into the doctor years ago for this. She had stopped going to the ob-gyn back in '90 or so because she was so mad at them about telling her because at least everything worked she was fine. I had my hands full making sure she got to her psychiatrist appointments, and I had to pick my battles.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

My wife had one by the time she was 35. Everything in her life improved or maintained. 

There was no appreciable change in our sex life. There was an adjustment period when she tried hormone replacement therapy before the word was out on the potential long term consequences, but that didn't last long. She had no change in sensation, no loss of orgasmic capacity, nothing.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

My mom had a full hysterectomy at age 28. It was followed by some rather horrific, and even life threatening complications. It also happened while my Dad was overseas (Vietnam) for a year, so she had the added stress of no husband at home and fear for his safety. 

She told me when I was older (yes, she was very open about sex and thought it important for me to have as much knowledge in the area as possible) that after recovery, she was ready to resume normal activity, and upon Dad's return, things were better than ever. Aside from hot flashes, which was disappointing--she thought she'd escape menopausal symptoms later in life, but they came a couple decades early!

However, it did leave a bit of a mental impression. I'll never forget when she was telling a story to a group at a dinner party some years later. She was relating how she was at some business and made what was an unusual (to the businessman, but seemingly normal to her) request to the business man and he looked at her funny. Most people would have said "He looked at me like I had three heads" or something similar, but what came out of her mouth was "He looked at me like I just asked for my uterus back!" 

Then, everyone did look at her funny. She was like "What?'


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