# Would YOU be upset with your spouse or partner if,



## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

They went through your mobile phone?

I was listening to my favourite radio station this morning and they ran a poll with this question for married and LTR couples.

The results and the comments were interesting.

I have posted an anonymous poll above, and would like to see what others think.

As for my wife and I, we actually use each other's phone sometimes, and she adds or removes apps from my phone. I have no patience with that. She has full access to everything ,because my phone isn't locked.

Cheating was never an issue.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

I have nothing to hide, so it wouldnt bother me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

No it wouldn't bother me at all. I would be annoyed if I was asked to explain this or that string if he was questioning my inappropriate flirty texts between my two BFFs. But he wouldn't because he's been in the room and heard us talk to each other that way.

However it is Christmas and I've had to ask him NOT to check the credit card bill each day, like he normally does. I doubt he will honor that request but I've found a way to buy things without him discovering it!

ETA, if he was "just checking" it would bother me. I don't like insecure men and "just checking" is a sign of insecurity.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

If he was going through my cell I'd rather not know about it but if I found out it wouldn't bother me.I'd probably find it endearing somehow and I'd want to know if there was anything I could do to help him feel more secure.


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

No, I wouldn't be upset at all. I demanded access to hers after discovering the kind of use she put it to, and offered mine in return. I think messing with apps on the other person's phone is over the line, though. If I found some kind of stealth app on her phone I'd use it to gather intel rather than delete it.


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## LadyDee (Oct 1, 2013)

No,doesn't bother me at all, we can go into others phones/computers, have lists and access to all passwords to everything. I am the techie here, so I am always having to help him anyway.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Oh I forgot to mention.

The results of the radio poll I referred to in my OP , was
49 % no problem 
51% yes big problem.


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## ScubaSteve61 (Mar 20, 2012)

I personally would have no problem with it.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

We may be unusual in that we have one cell phone that we share. Whoever needs it, takes it. Obviously, we have nothing to hide!


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

Caribbean Man said:


> Oh I forgot to mention.
> 
> The results of the radio poll I referred to in my OP , was
> 49 % no problem
> 51% yes big problem.


That is interesting, and I guess I fall somewhere in the middle. I have nothing to hide, and my wife can go through it to her heart's content. The problem would be why she felt the need to do so, other than idle curiosity, and would be something certainly worth discussing.


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## sparkyjim (Sep 22, 2012)

Married but Happy said:


> We may be unusual in that we have one cell phone that we share. Whoever needs it, takes it. Obviously, we have nothing to hide!


I guess you don't text each other...


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Me & mine are so open, this would be like breathing....I wouldn't blink an eye...I almost wish he took more of an interest to all my gabbing online....the thing is...he knows I share it all now... it's the spice of life....makes for many interesting conversations... 

Nothing I write here, in pms, in FB messages would surprise my husband...even in what I buy...I handle all the bills...& keep him on top of that too..I get a little bent out of shape if I feel I spent too much or wasted $$...so he hears about that too, me kicking myself....

We pretty much live what they call "  Radical Honesty" before each other...it's always been our way. 

I know from my  Transparency thread  ....this would be too much for many couples..just going by many of the replies...so the 51% who said "big problem"..this doesn't surprise me.



GTdad said:


> *The problem would be why she felt the need to do so, other than idle curiosity, and would be something certainly worth discussing*.


And this is the thing , isn't it....We've never felt the need to "verify" or check on each other...this kinda goes hand in hand...if a spouse feels suspicious about something due to behavior..or something is just off (We can always feel this if we are in tuned with the other, that something has changed, a lack of affection...less time together).....

The only thing in our past...where husband wasn't so forthcoming was...he's always enjoyed looking at soft porn , those Playboy bunnies...downloading them even..
...I didn't like this, made me feel bad in my Christian days...but even in that, he didn't TRY to hide it at all.. and he could of !....he knew ALOT more about computers over me since he went to school for it....but still.. I easily found his folders on the Desktop. I would start deleting them like mad in a huff... so we'd talk about it.. even in that, I didn't feel he was a bad husband though...just a guy thing.,. These days he has my blessing. ...He's happy about that. 

I've used his emails, he uses mine...we know all each other's passwords....we don't use cell phones... I still have a dinosaur tracfone that doesn't even a keyboard for text.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

I don't care. If you need help falling asleep by all means go through my phone.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SaltInWound (Jan 2, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> ETA, if he was "just checking" it would bother me. I don't like insecure men and "just checking" is a sign of insecurity.


"just checking" could also be projection.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

I wanted to answer yes to two options.

I have nothing to hide and have handed over the phone and the password many times (having an unlocked phone is buku dangerous), but I wouldn't be a fan of having her snoop on the phone with the sole intention of looking for stuff. 

Someone who is snooping for dirt is being no more trustworthy than someone who is hiding it.


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## Oldfaithful (Nov 27, 2013)

I would have no problem with it but would like to know why.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

I never minded my now ex-husband using my phone, digging through my purse, looking through my papers or clothing, or any other things like that. I always felt that we were married, so I had absolutely nothing to hide from him. Anything I had or said or received or bought or anything else, he was welcome to. 

It was always him that was protective of his "personal things" like his phone. He didn't like me using his phone, looking in his wallet for 2 $10's to swap for my $20, helping myself to a pair of his socks if I needed them for hunting, etc. Even if I asked him first, he wanted to be the one to fetch the money or the socks or whatever, and often resented having to do it. I probably should have clued in earlier that he simply didn't have the same view of a close intimate relationship as I did. 

After I discovered his EA? Then yes, I needed full transparency from him. He was fool enough to think I would trust him to give it to me.:rofl: He never thought I might be able to figure out that the completely sanitized phone he brought home each night was the result him spending 10 minutes in the driveway each evening deleting everything that had gone on during the day.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Caribbean Man said:


> They went through your mobile phone?
> 
> I was listening to my favourite radio station this morning and they ran a poll with this question for married and LTR couples.
> 
> ...


Since I've gone through TAM and the being cheated on thing, I say that I would have no problem with them going through my phone as long as it wasn't too often or disruptive. I don't do anything I have to hide, and if it is something that is out of line, I will cut it out if I agree.

Before all of this I used to say that stuff was "my business", and "my business" would stray across the line of being things which are in appropriate to do.


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## H30 (Nov 23, 2013)

I don't care to lock my phone....so if my husband wanted to look he could. However, my husband has his phone locked....I hate to admit as much as I trust him on the affair front, I am a little curious as to why.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

H30 said:


> I don't care to lock my phone....so if my husband wanted to look he could. However, my husband has his phone locked....I hate to admit as much as I trust him on the affair front, I am a little curious as to why.
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


N problems with my wife looking (and she does), but I would need to have the same access she does. If her's were locked, and she refused to give me the pass code, the same would apply to my phone - though there would be a heck of a lot of discussions as to why that was the case.


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## SaltInWound (Jan 2, 2013)

H30 said:


> I don't care to lock my phone....so if my husband wanted to look he could. However, my husband has his phone locked....I hate to admit as much as I trust him on the affair front, I am a little curious as to why.
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


Have you ever asked to use his phone, just to see what his reaction is?


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

It wouldn't worry me in the least. However, I would be concerned if my SO felt the_ need _to check my phone because he was suspicious that I was up to something, because it would mean that he didn't trust me...


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

I don't have a problem with it at all and neither does he. I go through his phone, FB (I'm the one who does his FB anyway including friends request) and twitter also emails. He grab my phone and go through it sometimes too. We both so beautiful that we mate guard on the regular.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

H30 said:


> I don't care to lock my phone....so if my husband wanted to look he could. However, my husband has his phone locked....I hate to admit as much as I trust him on the affair front, I am a little curious as to why.
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


Do you have the password?


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

No problem here. We never had passwords and would "share" phones from time to time (dead battery or misplaced one). With the latest OS update it asked for a lock code by default. We both know each others password. I even scanned her fingerprint on my new phone.

I'd be bit annoyed or weirded out (or something) if she did but yes she can.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

H30 said:


> I don't care to lock my phone....so if my husband wanted to look he could. However, my husband has his phone locked....I hate to admit as much as I trust him on the affair front, I am a little curious as to why.
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


Do you have the password?

No one should EVER leave their phone unlocked, unless you like things like identity theft.


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## Unique Username (Jul 6, 2013)

First, I would like to have an SO....

then, noop no problem look all you like.
BUT - you will find it severely boring


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## 45188 (Sep 13, 2012)

Nah. The people with big problems are the ones who have something to hide. They go BLAH BLAH BLAH TRUST! But trust is there until it's not, right? lol


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

Old school.

Today, not only would someone need access to the phone, but passwords for the variety of apps that can be used to communicate.

When I was misbehaving, both my xw and my ap had the password to my phone. What neither knew, was that I had routed all my calls through a voip and text messaging service. So I really had 3 phone numbers. My cell service's phone number and two internet based numbers. I could check any messages and texts at will on any of the numbers and set those accounts to forward to my real number as necessary. When home, I set my "home" internet number to forward to my real phone number. When I was "away", I set the other internet number to forward to my real phone number.

All my pictures auto-uploaded to a web based drive, so it was even a simple matter to have two accounts there as well. Part of my deception was how open I appeared to be about letting them run through my phone.

As diabolically clever a POS as I thought I was, I got caught because I never paid attention to my real phone number's call history... because I never used my real phone number. One day I was out with my AP and left my phone on the table (intentionally, I knew she would check it) to go to the restroom. While I was gone, she used my phone to call her sister without using my app dialer. So this strange number was in my real call history regardless of which "fake" number account I was logged into. Later, intentionally "forgetting" my phone so my XW could snoop it and find nothing... she found that strange number from the call I didn't know about and called it. Do you know Dvls? Yeah, that's my sister's boyfriend. Surprise!

Yes, yes, its all dirty and pos behavior so no need to flame me. That's where I was at that time and it even amazes me today when I think back on being that sneaky and underhanded to go to all that trouble. I don't really have an excuse or explanation except to say I was in a very bad, bitter place mentally.


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## H30 (Nov 23, 2013)

Cletus said:


> H30 said:
> 
> 
> > I don't care to lock my phone....so if my husband wanted to look he could. However, my husband has his phone locked....I hate to admit as much as I trust him on the affair front, I am a little curious as to why.
> ...


I don't have his password...never asked. He is super crazy about identity theft, so that makes sense. I might have to ask him about this

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## questar1 (Aug 4, 2011)

Cletus said:


> I wanted to answer yes to two options.
> 
> I have nothing to hide and have handed over the phone and the password many times (having an unlocked phone is buku dangerous), but I wouldn't be a fan of having her snoop on the phone with the sole intention of looking for stuff.
> 
> Someone who is snooping for dirt is being no more trustworthy than someone who is hiding it.


:iagree:

It would be so out of character for either of us to give a rat's behind about this, that I'd wonder if he had a brain tumor or something. Worse than that, H is technologically clueless so he would likely accidentally mess something up. So maybe this poll question doesn't really apply to us due to pure apathy and learning disability! 

However, this is a total reality for our kids whose lives are documented in their phones. A young woman (age 26) around here was just killed by her ex when he found suspicious texts in her phone--didn't give her the chance to explain, just beat her head in with a baseball bat while she slept. So apparently younger people really take this stuff as absolute truth, which is scary, because (1) snooping itself is despicable and (2) the info thus derived is questionable because you lack the context with which to interpret it accurately. 

Thus I checked #2 because I am simply a big fan of respectful privacy, period.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

This issue can be kinda tricky on some levels.
I'm thinking , maybe it depends on the level of intimacy in a relationship and how both people interact.

For eg; 
Like some people mentioned,
They would be upset , not because they have something to hide, but because in their opinion, they might think their partner probably does not trust them. If the seem themselves as trustworthy, they might be tempted to think that their partner is projecting.
But suppose the partner was just curious for some insignificant reason, and decided to check?

Way back in the days of analogue mobile phones, I had a Nokia. No fancy apps, facebook, internet , nothing. Just call and recieve calls , and text.
My wife constantly" checked " it. I used to laugh it off, because I knew she wouldn't find anything.
But then I realized that she liked fooling around with electronic gadgets.
No problem, I simply bought two same type of phones when I decided to upgrade and gave her one.
lol, now she has about five different phones, none of them are password protected ,I still own only one.
And I do have a VOIP app, she installed it on my phone along with Skype. [ Roaming Charges are expensive down here.]

I guess the issue never really arose in my mind , and I just thought that it was the same with other couples.

Just wondering how such a little gadget could so drastically alter the dynamics of a couple's relationship. Maybe it's not the gadget , but a bigger personal or interpersonal issue, with either one or both parties?


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## ClimbingTheWalls (Feb 16, 2013)

We don't open each other's mail.

We don't have access to each other's phones.

I don't go through his pockets; he does not go through my handbag.

It's an issue of personal privacy.


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## questar1 (Aug 4, 2011)

:iagree: Caribbean Man!

I think it's about control. (And therefore boundaries.) So what's really going on in people's relationships that they need this level of control over someone?

People think they know so much just by coming across bits of data. As a qualitative researcher, I know that context is important, that people who lack lateral thinking skills and are insecure will readily jump to false conclusions based on their own inner problems.

It is simply wrong to think you know how that information really works or fits into the other person's world.

It seems that the more insecure a person is, the more he or she feels driven to control someone else and to leap to assumptions based on the slimmest of evidence.

Technology now allows us to indulge this utterly grotesque manner of relating. Cameras peep up our skirts--and the perpetrators argue that this is a freedom granted by the Constitution! You can track and snoop and spy beyond anything James Bond dreamed of with stuff available at Radio Shack. 

And then you can ruin a person's life by trashing them online in any number of places. 

So what's the real point? Maybe people feel so out of control these days that they have to try to control each other. 

I'm lucky to be too old to bother to inject this into my relationships at this point, but the younger generation seems to think it's indispensable. I feel sorry for them. My theory is that they'll all end up having virtual relationships anyway. So much safer and, as Robert Heinlein pointed out (via the Notebooks of Lazarus Long), you don't have to go home alone in the cold.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

So, exactly how "insecure" and "controlling" is a wife who, having discovered quite by accident that the pretty single neighbor (and the wife's good friend) has planned a birthday celebration for her husband to which said wife has not been invited, decides to check his texts after he finally stumbles home in the wee hours of the morning?

And what the hell kind of "context" could "I can't wait to see you and give you some more of those 'bend over kisses'! I love it when you're so hard in my mouth!" possibly have that I might have misconstrued it?!?!?



Not every person who "snoops" on their partner does it to be controlling or because we're to insecure too handle a mature relationship. Some of us do it as a last resort because we need to stop being gas-lighted. And because we need to know if STD testing is in order.


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

DH and I know each others passwords, and have complete access to each others phones. I wouldn't care if he read my texts or emails. I think he would care if I read his, though.


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## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

We have a password generator that we both have the master password for. So nothing that locks the other out. 

Although we could read all each other's stuff, we don't. It's a respect for privacy thing for us. He did say to me recently, sometimes I read your Skype conversations over your shoulder [with my BFF in London] but they're always just gibberish.


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## daSaint (Sep 20, 2013)

my phones, passwords, mails, pc, pockets & drawers are all open and accessible to her any day/time and vice versa. However, except i need a contact from her phone or she needs help with an app, etc, i don't just go 'looking' through her stuff because i don't want to see anything that will possibily make me 'ask questions'
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

Caribbean Man said:


> They went through your mobile phone?
> 
> I was listening to my favourite radio station this morning and they ran a poll with this question for married and LTR couples.
> 
> ...



We have no secrets in our marriage. We both still lock the bathroom door when taking care of some "necessities" to keep the mystery alive.  But other than that we hide nothing from one another. We are in and out of each other's email accounts all the time and we share a facebook account.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Rowan said:


> So, exactly how "insecure" and "controlling" is a wife who, having discovered quite by accident that the pretty single neighbor (and the wife's good friend) has planned a birthday celebration for her husband to which said wife has not been invited, decides to check his texts after he finally stumbles home in the wee hours of the morning?
> 
> And what the hell kind of "context" could "I can't wait to see you and give you some more of those 'bend over kisses'! I love it when you're so hard in my mouth!" possibly have that I might have misconstrued it?!?!?
> 
> ...


And this^^^ is the flip side to the argument. That's why I said in my last post , that's it's a kinda tricky issue.

These are arguments on both sides of the divide , and both arguments seem pretty valid to me. That's why I've included the aspect of previous cheating issues in the poll options.

My personal unpopular opinion is that it isn't an issue of control so much as one of respect. Respect for each other as individuals and respect the relationship. I don't think that a spouse or partner occasionally going through each other's phone automatically constitutes control issues. And I think that the word " control " is loosely thrown around quite a lot.
If both partners have equal access, then a power differential does not exist and the issue of control cannot arise.

I know of a particular case where the husband never let his wife near his phone, citing privacy. However, he sometimes allowed his five yr old daughter to play games and fool around on his phone.
One day they were both sitting around in the living room , doing their own stuff, daughter playing with his phone on the floor when she began to giggle and ran to her mom pointing to a pic of a topless woman on her dad's phone.
That was the end of their marriage , apparently, the pic was sent via text , while the kid was playing with the phone and she opened it. It was that of a woman , whom the wife knew.
His phone was on vibrate at the time.

Lets say now this young wife, after divorce meets up with another man who says that his cellphones are off limits.

Should she comply or should she run like hell?
Would it be fair for him to say that she has control issues?

So my thoughts are, yes, a person who demands passwords to cellphones etc , might have control issues . But it's also true that if a partner has absolutely nothing to hide, then obviously the partner who's doing the digging will either get bored and eventually start digging elsewhere or have their temporary fit of curiosity satisfied , and move the to a higher level of trust in the relationship.

If it's the former, then why would you want to stay in a relationship with a partner like that? They have their issues, and preventing access to your " stuff " wouldn't make their issues go away.
If it's the latter, then your relationship would have benefited from allowing your partner access to things you might consider private, open and honest communication about feelings and insecurities being pivotal to this new growth.

That's why I don't think the issue is one of access to a personal electronic gadget or control over one's privacy , but really a barometer of the climate of trust or lack thereof ,that exists in the relationship.

It takes two to tango.

EDIT:
_In the case I mentioned with the husband and the topless pics on his phone, it was the husband's mother that told me the story, and as ludicrous as it sounds, she blamed the wife , stating that she was always insecure , and never trusted the husband. 
Amazingly , she said that the girl who sent the pics was out of place and a troublemaker , and if the wife was a good woman , she would have stood by her husband's side..

Incredible.

My take is this. 
If you want me to have your back when sh!t gets rough, then you better not hide anything from me. Had he been open with his phone , his wife would have been able to see if he was innocent, and stand by her man._


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

daSaint said:


> my phones, passwords, mails, pc, pockets & drawers are all open and accessible to her any day/time and vice versa. *However, except i need a contact from her phone or she needs help with an app, etc, i don't just go 'looking' through her stuff because i don't want to see anything that will possibily make me 'ask questions'*


:iagree: X 100%

That's what I meant by respect for the person.

But it's would be difficult to respect a person who's being overly protective and secretive of what is theirs, whilst you are being fully transparent with them.
Respect is not a one way street, that's dictatorship and control.


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## livnlearn (Mar 5, 2012)

We both have complete access to each others stuff. My husband has no interest in having any guys friends and I have no interest in reading his work related texts. I don't get upset when he reads mine but I do get sort of annoyed when he comments or laughs about things I've said to my girlfriends. Not because it is private and needs to be hidden..I just sometimes feel like "damn husband..you need to get a life" .


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

You didn't have the exact one listed for me. I've been married for almost 20 years and have never gone through my wife's purse, her wallet, her phone, and she has never gone through mine either, so while I wouldn't be mad.

It would be so strange I would wonder why in the world the sudden lack of trust? Why are you snooping? That would definitely be a topic of discussion.

The control freak side of me would spaz out a little bit. I can hardly fly or ride in the passenger seat lol. People going through my things has always been a "tick" for me in the most harmless of ways, but still a "tick".


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## woman (Aug 19, 2011)

I can't answer the poll because the way I feel isn't one of the options. 

I have nothing to hide, but yes it would bother me because it would tell me that my partner doesn't trust me. I would wonder what was wrong with our relationship for him to feel that he needed to snoop. Apart from that, I wouldn't care.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

I have nothing to hide but it would bother me
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

Dosent bother me in the least. Years ago, we would only have one phone, so both had equal viewing and usage. Now we each have a phone, mostly the same numbers, I have a few girls numbers, and he has his work contacts. 

If he wanted to see my texts, he can view them on his phone or mine, since it's never locked. His phone is locked because he does the banking and bill payments. I don't remember his password off hand so I can ask. Even though we both have phones I will still use his from time to time, and he uses mine. 

All my passwords for all my Facebooks, twitter accounts, all emails, and all the free sites I belong to are all written down in a book. He can look anytime. 

I can look at his email when ever I want or his email or twitter. We share the same computer and it has auto fill so it's easy to find all sign on info. 

He is the tech one so he set up my email and Facebook years ago, he fixes my phone and set up my iTunes account. He also puts the music on my phone. 

I don't like to go into his pockets or wallet, but I do. If he's sleeping, I'll go and get out smokes, or a couple of dollars maybe change. He prob goes in mine if he knows I have the lighter or some money he needed. I take the bank card if I'm going to the store. He maybe half joking he dosent go in my pockets because they are to small for his large man hands. Lol


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

We share the same pass code on our phones.

We have different apps. We don't mess with the content on each others phone. On occasion we'll just use the others phone, no problem, while retaining mutual respect.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Pandakiss said:


> He also puts the music on my phone.


This is where I draw the line though! Don't mess with the music!


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

heartsbeating said:


> This is where I draw the line though! Don't mess with the music!



My wife also stored the music on my iphone. Actually, she purchased an iphone for herself and I when they were first released on the market. She's into that type of stuff, loves electronic gadgets.

I had to draw the line with the apps and the phone's default settings. I told her before she downloads any app or change any setting on my phone please inform me.
lol,
That's what distinguishes her phone from mine.


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## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

I have no problem with my wife using my phone as long as she does not run the battery flat. Similarly if we are out together and her phone has a better 3/4 g signal that mine I will use that for the satnav or whatever.

(My wife and I deliberately got phones on different networks so as to increase the locations were at least one of us would have a good signal)


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## RedRose14 (Aug 15, 2013)

No, no problem with it at all, there is no password on my phone and I let anyone and everyone have access to it. I am often too busy to get my phone so will tell Hubby or children to answer it for me or check my texts, eg if I am driving or cooking.

Hubby does have a code on his phone, though I do know what it is, but I don't go through his phone, I could if I wanted to but I've never felt the urge, I know he's not up to no good.


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

heartsbeating said:


> This is where I draw the line though! Don't mess with the music!


Well who is gonna do it???? An MP3 player I can figure out, maybe....since I have mastered windows XP, they go and change it....and I have no idea how to up convert my downloaded songs or my j/k pop, so he has to put it on. 

One of my lady gaga songs came from a German site, with a German link, and the name is partially in German....I think he had a hard time making my iTunes account accept it.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

RedRose14 said:


> No, no problem with it at all, there is no password on my phone and I let anyone and everyone have access to it. I am often too busy to get my phone so will tell Hubby or children to answer it for me or check my texts, eg if I am driving or cooking.


You might want to reconsider this practice.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Pandakiss said:


> Well who is gonna do it???? An MP3 player I can figure out, maybe....since I have mastered windows XP, they go and change it....and I have no idea how to up convert my downloaded songs or my j/k pop, so he has to put it on.
> 
> One of my lady gaga songs came from a German site, with a German link, and the name is partially in German....I think he had a hard time making my iTunes account accept it.


Ahh... it's a different thing that he's helping you to ensure you have your music. That's very sweet!

I was thinking along the lines of all my Prince disappearing and being replaced with ...I'm not sure what. He does have good taste in music. Still, I'm territorial about playlists.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

heartsbeating said:


> I was thinking along the lines of all my Prince disappearing and being replaced with ...I'm not sure what. He does have good taste in music. Still, I'm territorial about playlists.


Lol,

Don't mess with HB's " _Purple Rain_" and " _Te Amo Corozon_."

My wife load my music too.
She knows exactly what I like.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

heartsbeating said:


> I was thinking along the lines of all my Prince disappearing and being replaced with ...I'm not sure what.


Adam West's greatest hits album?


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## sh987 (Oct 10, 2013)

My wife and I would need to get a mobile first. Well... We have one which sits unused on the buffet most of the time. It's an ancient Nokia on a pay-as-you-go setup which we just use if we're going on a highway trip, to be used in emergency purposes.

We've always had passwords and access to each other's online accounts, though, if that counts for anything in this thread.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

sandc said:


> Adam West's greatest hits album?


:smthumbup:


...actually Shatner does make it to the play-list from time to time.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

heartsbeating said:


> :smthumbup:
> 
> 
> ...actually Shatner does make it to the play-list from time to time.


His rendition of Rocket Man brought tears to my eyes. Many tears actually. It was quite traumatic for me.


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

I never had the desire to look through my H's phone until I suspected he was having an affair which turned out to be true. Sometimes you do things you are not proud of because if you didn't you'd look like a fool.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

tracyishere said:


> I never had the desire to look through my H's phone until I suspected he was having an affair which turned out to be true. Sometimes you do things you are not proud of because if you didn't you'd look like a fool.


You're quick-witted and intelligent. You seem to have at least a passing interest in sex. You look hot too. 

The man is a fool.

In my opinion.


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## UsernameHere (Sep 26, 2013)

I have nothing much on my phone anyway, other than personal and work email accounts and contacts. The only reason its pass locked is my company insists on data security measures when accessing work email, but my wife uses the phone on occasions if needed.


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

heartsbeating said:


> Ahh... it's a different thing that he's helping you to ensure you have your music. That's very sweet!
> 
> I was thinking along the lines of all my Prince disappearing and being replaced with ...I'm not sure what. He does have good taste in music. Still, I'm territorial about playlists.



Yea I badger him for a month and after sighing and pouting about missing this song or that song, he will fix it. 

Apple sucks. They made it sooo complicated lol. 

But yea, I am very defensive about my playlist. Ha ha.


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## loopy lu (Oct 30, 2013)

Cheating has never been an issue and he has full access but....

Given that I have been faithful, am I not entitled to some modicum of privacy? Or respect. I dont mind if he picks it up, plays my games, uses it to send a text or make a phone call, but if he was trolling through old messages, sent items, reading my emails, then yeah, we have a problem. It means there is a lack of trust for no good reason.

I offer him the same respect. 

Also, there is a privacy issue in that we have work emails coming to our private phones that really, neither of us are supposed ot be reading.


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