# Where do fetishes start?



## surfergirl (Jan 27, 2011)

Where do they come from? 

What makes it sexually exciting to someone, to be pee or pooed on or why does the sight of 10 inch heals make someone else horny? BDSM...where does that start? Sex with animals?

I'm thinking that maybe they start in childhood but I can't get my head around how something probably non sex related ends up being a sexual turn on in later years.


----------



## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

I believe a lot of the extreme common fetishes start in childhood.
I also believe porn has a lot to do with the introduction of fetishes in our minds.

This is a very cool book..

Men in Love by Nancy Friday.

Amazon.com: Men in Love (9780385333429): Nancy Friday: Books

She`s a counselor who has written many books on sexuality using her patients stories.
This one in particular gets a bit extreme but it`s very interesting.
Most of the BDSM, scat stories told by her patients lead back to things in there childhood and usually their mothers.

She has another book just like this one about womens fantasies.

Forbidden Flowers
Amazon.com: Forbidden Flowers (9780671741020): Nancy Friday: Books
They`re a pretty good read.

I have a slight pantyhose fetish (Not on me I like them on women) and it`s not really sexual I just like the way they feel.
I remember when I was little laying in my moms lap stroking her hose covered shin on the couch until I fell asleep.
I`m pretty sure that`s where I got it from.


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

A quick search lead me to this: http://www.therapywithcare.com/Article_Fetish.html

_Fear, excitement, curiosity, pleasure are powerful emotions that are felt in the body. The body remembers the charge physiologically and for some of us those moments become eroticized on a subconscious level. Even scary childhood moments. We protected ourselves by sexualizing the powerful feelings. Generally the feelings lay dormant until we become sexually active. Then out of nowhere, we connect our original moment of excitement and experience to a powerful erotic charge. This feeling is so strong that our sexuality is linked to that early sexual/excitement/fear moment.

These powerful emotions linked to the fetish are stored in the subconscious mind. They are connected to a part of our brain that produces sexual stimulation. When puberty strikes these thoughts and feelings may re-emerge. Before we realize what's happening we are associating our childhood fear/excitement to adult sexual feelings._


----------



## shy_guy (Jan 25, 2012)

Interesting reading heartsbeating, but I'm having a little trouble buying it as just that, mainly because I'm doing a little bit of introspection here ...


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

I didn't write it ....just found the theory online 

Care to expand more on your bit of introspection?


----------



## shy_guy (Jan 25, 2012)

Okay, I haven't hidden anything else on this site, so let me not leave that last message where it is.

I looked for a definition of "fetish" that would include one or two things I like. But when I start looking at what different people define as a "fetish," then I might have more than one or two.

First: The OP mentioned pee sex. Of course, this can take many forms. I don't think that every time we have sex that I need to be peed on, but pee is actually something that I don't find gross in ONE scenario and that is from my wife, and straight from the source. I'm not at all afraid even for it to be in my mouth and in fact, have tasted her.

Where do I think this came from: Nothing in my childhood. When I began to experience sex with wife, Oral sex was something I began to really love. My nose is apparently very sensitive. When I talk about the "Bouquet of aromas" from a woman during oral sex, the faint smell of urine is always there regardless of how clean she is - I mean straight from the shower, there is still the slightest hint of the smell of urine. It just became a part of the whole, and since it was, it became arousing just like the other aromas. We don't always shower just before sex, so obviously there are sometimes that with that smell, I may get a bit of a taste, and it heightened the excitement. At some point, as we became more adventurous, pee was sometimes used in sex. It became a way to bring the erotic smells even closer and interact with them in a heightened and arousing way.

I would not call it common - it's an every so often thing, so since I'm not obsessed by it, maybe it doesn't fit the definition of fetishes that I'm reading online, but some people define such things as pee-sex as fetish, so in that sense, I have one.

I don't want to be pooped on.

Analingus is another one that gets defined like pee-sex as a fetish act. This would be EXTREMELY gross to me with anyone but my wife. However; there are times I've written about elsewhere that I engage in sometimes. I have no desire whatsoever for my wife to perform this on me, and it would actually be a huge turn-off if she did. 

This developed, as best I can remember, from 69. From that position, there is always at least a hint of smell from the anus. My wife is very clean, so it was never a nasty scent, but in this position, my nose was either less than an inch from her anus, or sometimes actually touching it. I send you back to the sensitiveness of my sense of smell. As we did this, I began to build an association of this smell with the excitement of 69. With this, there was an additional forbiddenness of it that raised the excitement even more. I don't remember when I first did this, but at some point, is just seemed natural to move my tongue farther back and begin to include her anus in 69. Now, she actually loves this.

Again, this is not an obsession with either of us, so maybe it doesn't fit the same definition of fetish, but other people define this as fetish sex. It developed strictly with my wife during times when we were in a certain position and full of passion.

So just from introspection, it looks like it depends on the definition of fetish before we can really say where it comes from.


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

shy_guy said:


> So just from introspection, it looks like it depends on the definition of fetish before we can really say where it comes from.


True - it's been my understanding that a fetish is something that you "need" to have to be aroused or to be part of the sexual act. I have said I have "fetishes" but really I'd consider them more as preferences.

So what I gathered from your post is that sense of smell, aromas, and _experiencing_ what caused the aroma you detected could almost be your fetish perhaps more so than the act itself? An olfactory fetish perhaps? but then again, whadda I know?


----------



## shy_guy (Jan 25, 2012)

heartsbeating said:


> True - it's been my understanding that a fetish is something that you "need" to have to be aroused or to be part of the sexual act. I have said I have "fetishes" but really I'd consider them more as preferences.
> 
> So what I gathered from your post is that sense of smell, aromas, and _experiencing_ what caused the aroma you detected could almost be your fetish perhaps more so than the act itself? An olfactory fetish perhaps? but then again, whadda I know?


Interesting angle ... I have to admit, you make me think.


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

And my extremely limited knowledge on the subject would make me wonder what sense of smell might have meant in your childhood. Of course I really don't know anything lol, so I could be completely off track. I guess the idea is that certain heightened emotions as a child that we don't really know how to process at that age, becomes part of our sexual subconscious and then emerges later. Like I said though, I really don't know anything about the subject. It does interest me though.

Thinking on this and childhood, this example doesn't relate to being a fetish for me and it's a pure moment from a child's perspective, but it does translate into my adult life as something I find intriguing or arousing. Apparently these things stem from intimate moments or even hearing about certain things at a young age. It doesn't mean intimate in a bad way either, tacoma had a good example of this.

I remember watching my grandad shave. My grandparents occasionally stayed over in our family home. I remember my grandad, wearing his trousers with suspenders and white singlet/vest that he wore beneath his buttoned shirt, shaving with the bathroom door open. He chatted to me while I watched him shave. I was fascinated by the brushes he used for the shaving cream, watching him shave, hearing the sound of the razor against his skin, the sound of the water and razor tapping against the side of the sink. I had a lot of admiration for him. When my husband shaves, when I hear that swirling of the water and razor tapping, it stirs a feeling in me of his masculinity. A man shaving could be considered an intimate moment, as a child I knew it was something personal and as I admired my grandad, it felt special to have him chat to me while he shaved. This perhaps translated to my adult life when I see or hear my husband shave. It arouses me in a strange way because it represents his masculinity and because he's a man I admire. While shaving itself and watching my husband shave is not a fetish for me, I mention this to demonstrate how this simple act of chatting to my grandad while he shaved, transitioned from my childhood into adulthood as something I find, in a sense, alluring.


----------



## Zhopa (Jan 18, 2012)

To me, 'fetish' or 'to fetishise' is something from economics, and even then when I studied it I knew they were lying to us half the time. The psychology of the invented word makes a great deal of money in research grants, books and therapist fees. What if it just ain't?

As I love just about everything about women (except when she's mean), I simply don't share the terminology or the concept. It's just part of my sexual dynamic. One day I might specialise in feet, another day hands, eyebrows... for example I LOVE natural smells, tastes, body hair on a woman as she grows it softly... yet most women are raised and conditioned to believe that their bodies are dirty and inadequate. They spend collectively billions on deodorant, chemicals, constant showers, fashions. Shave the pits & legs, look like everybody else in the office... the adoring man gets little out of this but razor stubble.

Is loving the real woman a fetish? My wife claims it is and says my 'fetish' disgusts her. After she 'gets off' she immediately runs to the shower and scrubs, and scrubs.

It is rare that women are proud of the way they simply ARE. (I've met women as I described but they were lesbians... drat...) 




surfergirl said:


> Where do they come from?
> 
> What makes it sexually exciting to someone, to be pee or pooed on or why does the sight of 10 inch heals make someone else horny? BDSM...where does that start? Sex with animals?
> 
> I'm thinking that maybe they start in childhood but I can't get my head around how something probably non sex related ends up being a sexual turn on in later years.


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Fetish is a cultural definition not a personal one.


----------



## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

heartsbeating said:


> When my husband shaves, when I hear that swirling of the water and razor tapping, it stirs a feeling in me of his masculinity. A man shaving could be considered an intimate moment,
> 
> It arouses me in a strange way because it represents his masculinity and because he's a man I admire. While shaving itself and watching my husband shave is not a fetish for me,.....................something I find, in a sense, alluring.


I am the EXACT same way about shaving. Something about a man shaving is totally sexy and a turn on. I wonder if they feel that way about us? LOL


----------



## Zhopa (Jan 18, 2012)

southern wife said:


> I am the EXACT same way about shaving. Something about a man shaving is totally sexy and a turn on. I wonder if they feel that way about us? LOL


I'd rather you ladies not shaved at all.

But there are other things that we associate with femininity. And it's not anything like what the articles, books and tv say...


----------



## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

When your mom breast feeds you and spanks you at the same time after the age of three...


----------



## shy_guy (Jan 25, 2012)

Zhopa said:


> I'd rather you ladies not shaved at all.
> 
> But there are other things that we associate with femininity. And it's not anything like what the articles, books and tv say...


I agree 100% which is a big part of why I like this site. Here, people are actually talking openly so you get to hear/read them in their own words instead of hearing/reading what will sell a magazine. And studies are nice for objective data, but hearing it in a person's own words opens up a new dimension of understanding.


----------



## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Hmm... interesting question. Now you are going to make me go out and research this. I will put it on my list of things to look into, but am afraid of the kinds of things that might pop up when I start to look around. 

I guess I always thought that a 'fetish' was something that you had to have happen in order to be sexually satisfied - and it is something of an obsession or a fixation.

And then there's a lesser thing, like a 'kink' which doesn't need to be there in order to be sexually satisfied, but might be something that is outside the more cultural/social norm of behaviour. I would describe shy_guys experiences as maybe more a 'kink' than a 'fetish'.

And some things that were deemed 'kinky' in the past - oral or anal sex, for instance, are considered more mainstream now, and many wouldn't consider them a kink.

But, if someone is totally fixated on something - e.g., pantihose - and they have to have pantihose involved all the time or obsess about it all the time in order to get gratified they may well have a fetish. Where it comes from? Interesting.


----------



## Feelingalone (Apr 22, 2009)

Well, as someone who has entered into the world of BDSM recently, at least putting my toe in, it is interesting. I was dating a young lady who was already into it. Surprisingly, a lot of what is considered fetish now is the iconic 1950s man/woman relationship, at least regarding what is termed a Master/slave relationship. The young lady I was dating is ideally looking for a 24/7 M/s relationship. But not in the sense of what those words mean to most. For her it was, although submissive to me, an equal. Now there are full ranges of these terms and what they mean to different people. And she was excitable without any fetish. Of course I believe she was a sex addict. Not a bad thing for me.

But someone consensually having you crop/flog and other things is a powerful exchange of control. At least for me it was and had to be done properly.

For her it most likely started in her childhood, abused by her father. Surprisingly or not perhaps, she was into what is known as age/play. 

For her BDSM was in some ways a therapeutic avenue to get through the trauma. A good book on that aspect is entitled Living M/s. A good website is FetLife.com

Just my two cents.


----------



## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

If you find your 12 year old son has been hiding S&M magazines under his bed - whatever you do - DON'T spank him!


----------



## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

10 inch heels! Oh my my my do I have a fetish for heels!!!!!!!


----------



## shy_guy (Jan 25, 2012)

Stonewall said:


> 10 inch heels! Oh my my my do I have a fetish for heels!!!!!!!


Don't hold back on us. Tell us about degree and how it developed for you.


----------



## Feelingalone (Apr 22, 2009)

Hard to walk in ten inch heels, my girl could do 8 inches and dance. Of course she worked in an adult entertainment establishment. Dang it was fun.


----------



## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

shy_guy said:


> Don't hold back on us. Tell us about degree and how it developed for you.



Have no idea where it came from. I just have a thing for window dressing ie heels and lingere! 

although 10 is a bit much. actually 7 to 8 wow!

and you don't have to walk very long in them LOL


----------



## Diolay (Jan 25, 2012)

What makes this question so hard to answer is the boundry between what is a fetish and what isn't moves all the time. For example, tying a partner to the bed so you can have your way with them. While one might think this is a fetish (bondage) others may think this is just having fun. So when does taking that to the next level start to become a fetish?

Perhaps it's when toys are introduced? If so, shat toys? Is it when dildos are introduced or the whips or the whipped cream? Perhaps it's when we no longer tie them to the bed but just tie them up perhaps. Exactly where is the line drawn? 

One person here said high heels. How many people wear high hee;s? Does that mean they are living out their fetish in public or does that mean they just like to look good? Now you could answer that with the fetish is when they bring the heels into sex. So now that poses the question, does everything that is introduced into sex now a fetish and if so, where does place the whipped cream?

If whipped cream is not a fetish (being a household item, then why would the heels?

As I said, what one person will define as a fetish, another will say that's simply a part of love making. This makes this question so damn hard to really give a definative answer.

(But maybe that is the answer).

Thoughts anyone?


----------



## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

Diolay said:


> What makes this question so hard to answer is the boundry between what is a fetish and what isn't moves all the time. For example, tying a partner to the bed so you can have your way with them. While one might think this is a fetish (bondage) others may think this is just having fun. So when does taking that to the next level start to become a fetish?
> 
> Perhaps it's when toys are introduced? If so, shat toys? Is it when dildos are introduced or the whips or the whipped cream? Perhaps it's when we no longer tie them to the bed but just tie them up perhaps. Exactly where is the line drawn?
> 
> ...


Umm no. The heels comment was a direct response to the part of the initial question which specifically addressed heels.


----------



## Diolay (Jan 25, 2012)

YEah it really wasn't easy to put into words that one.


----------



## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Diolay said:


> As I said, what one person will define as a fetish, another will say that's simply a part of love making. This makes this question so damn hard to really give a definative answer.
> 
> (But maybe that is the answer).
> 
> Thoughts anyone?


Not a definitive answer but maybe something to add to this discussion.



> Sexual fetishism
> Sexual fetishism, or erotic fetishism, is the sexual arousal a person receives from a physical object, or from a specific situation. The object or situation of interest is called the fetish, the person a fetishist who has a fetish for that object/situation.[1] A sexual fetish may be regarded as an enhancing element to a romantic/sexual relationship "achieved in ordinary ways (e.g. having the partner wear a particular garment)" or as a mental disorder/disorder of sexual preference if it causes significant psychosocial distress for the person or has detrimental effects on important areas of their life.[2] Arousal from a particular body part is classified as partialism.[3]
> Sexual fetishism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


Directly to the Op`s question...



> Early psychology assumed that fetishism either is being conditioned or imprinted or the result of a strong emotional (e.g., traumatic) or physical experience. Often, these experiences were experienced in early childhood. For example, an individual who has been physically abused could either have a sexual obsession with intercourse, or they could be completely terrified by even the idea of being touched. It is assumed that those who have been sexually abused create an obsession with being touched or touching others, and possibly even abuse someone else. Physical factors like genetic disposition are another common possible explanation. In the following, the most important theories are presented in chronological order:


----------



## fortheloveofit2 (Oct 1, 2012)

Zhopa said:


> I'd rather you ladies not shaved at all.
> 
> ...



I encourage my wife not to shave. For the most part she doesnt but often complains and askes me why I enjoy the hair. I told her looking at her bush turns me on. I remember watching porn in the third grade and seeing the hair on the female private areas (boy that was hard to explain, I was torn between what word to use) That is where my appreciation for hair came from.


----------



## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

Your brain on sex... discusses this in depth. Just a theory though.


----------



## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

in a closet where they should be kept!!!!!!!

yuck ....honey I can't orgasm unless I dress up like a baby and you change my poopy diapers!!!!! not my idea of sexy.


----------



## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

For heels I was told that this is something which women started doing centuries ago. Apparently the sight of women in heels acts on a man's natural desire to want to protect a potential female 'mate.' Supposedly, a woman in heels gives of an underlying visual need for help, or assistance, like she is weak or needing protection. This in turns acts on a man's natural desire to protect a female he's attracted too, hence increasing her status with him. The japanese/Chinese took this to another level with feet bonding, feet breaking, where the women's feet bones are bound tightly or even broken to encourage women to have very small feet, giving a similar inpression to men as wearing heels. Some even wear heels after having this done.

Don't ask me how true that is, that's just what I remember reading or seeing on TV, something like Discovery Civilization or whatever. I remember there being some scientific backing to this. 

For me, yeah I like my woman in heels, but it's just nice to see, no big turn on. Now my woman in **** me boots is another story...(drool).


----------



## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

tacoma said:


> ..I have a slight pantyhose fetish (Not on me I like them on women) and it`s not really sexual I just like the way they feel...


isnt 'slight fetish' sort of like saying 'a little bit pregnant'?

to me - a fetish is a bit more than something that you find attractive or titillating.


----------



## frankd (Feb 22, 2012)

I would posit that a kink is something you like and enahances sex, while a fetish is something you need in order for sex to be successful. 
I've written previously about how much I enjoy munching my wife's behind, but I consider that kinky. It's not the only way I get turned on, like I said, it's just an enhancement.

Also, I agree that scents go a long way to enhancing sex and likely leads to kinky behaviour - thus leading to enhanced sexual pleasure.
For example, I once caught my wife peeing (just peeing! read on) and dragged her into bed (in a fun and playful way, of course) where I proceeded to lick her squeaky clean and tongued her front and rear with a fury that startled even me. I later figured out it was the scent of her womanhood that drove me mad.
But straightforward, regular intercourse is sweet anytime, and every time we do it, it is unique and memorable.


----------



## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

heartsbeating said:


> And my extremely limited knowledge on the subject would make me wonder what sense of smell might have meant in your childhood. Of course I really don't know anything lol, so I could be completely off track. I guess the idea is that certain heightened emotions as a child that we don't really know how to process at that age, becomes part of our sexual subconscious and then emerges later. Like I said though, I really don't know anything about the subject. It does interest me though.
> 
> Thinking on this and childhood, this example doesn't relate to being a fetish for me and it's a pure moment from a child's perspective, but it does translate into my adult life as something I find intriguing or arousing. Apparently these things stem from intimate moments or even hearing about certain things at a young age. It doesn't mean intimate in a bad way either, tacoma had a good example of this.
> 
> I remember watching my grandad shave. My grandparents occasionally stayed over in our family home. I remember my grandad, wearing his trousers with suspenders and white singlet/vest that he wore beneath his buttoned shirt, shaving with the bathroom door open. He chatted to me while I watched him shave. I was fascinated by the brushes he used for the shaving cream, watching him shave, hearing the sound of the razor against his skin, the sound of the water and razor tapping against the side of the sink. I had a lot of admiration for him. When my husband shaves, when I hear that swirling of the water and razor tapping, it stirs a feeling in me of his masculinity. A man shaving could be considered an intimate moment, as a child I knew it was something personal and as I admired my grandad, it felt special to have him chat to me while he shaved. This perhaps translated to my adult life when I see or hear my husband shave. It arouses me in a strange way because it represents his masculinity and because he's a man I admire. While shaving itself and watching my husband shave is not a fetish for me, I mention this to demonstrate how this simple act of chatting to my grandad while he shaved, transitioned from my childhood into adulthood as something I find, in a sense, alluring.


Those childhood experiences can have the opposite affect too. For example, I know some guys think panty hose are super sexy, but I care nothing about them. I realize they are often for a reason, like cold weather, so, I don't vomit when I see a woman in them, but they do nothing whatsoever for me as far as a turn on. A woman may as well have on knee-high farm boots if she's going for the attraction part with me. I think bare legs are ten times sexier.

Hosiery was once more fashionable than now, and think it may come from seeing all the older ladies wear them in my childhood, especially with the reinforced heels and toes. i also remember my grandmother's hanging on a line to dry. I really dislike seeing a woman in strappy high heels with hosiery. I guess when I see hosiery, it screams, grandma clothes!!!!!:rofl:


----------



## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

Come on.. just try it! You'll like it!


----------



## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

southbound said:


> Those childhood experiences can have the opposite affect too. * For example, I know some guys think panty hose are super sexy, but I care nothing about them. I realize they are often for a reason, like cold weather, so, I don't vomit when I see a woman in them, but they do nothing whatsoever for me as far as a turn on. * A woman may as well have on knee-high farm boots if she's going for the attraction part with me. I think bare legs are ten times sexier.
> 
> Hosiery was once more fashionable than now, and think it may come from seeing all the older ladies wear them in my childhood, especially with the reinforced heels and toes. i also remember my grandmother's hanging on a line to dry. I really dislike seeing a woman in strappy high heels with hosiery. I guess when I see hosiery, it screams, grandma clothes!!!!!:rofl:


Well pantyhose is a big turn for me.
And I can trace it back to my childhood.
I grew up around women,none of them were overweight and fat, and all of them wore it with their miniskirts.


----------



## NoWhere (Oct 2, 2012)

Stockings are a big turn on for me, but aren't they for most men. And no I don't mean me wearing them. Just something about them.


----------



## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

I like stockings that go up to about half way between the knee and thigh. I think the reason I like them is that they highlight the area just above them a bit more. Sort of a subliminal spotlight on the thighs/vaginal area. Love it.


----------



## jl2005 (Mar 22, 2012)

I love hosiery on women. Started at a very young age. Hard to say why. Pantyhose, stockings, tights. Silky and sheer are best. Don't think its that hard to figure out it's sexy, but for me it is something a woman can show off without being improper. She can flaunt it. It's something I can't/am not supposed to wear, but I love the way they feel. I long to feel them on me. I love how they surround and accentuate those sexy curves on a woman's legs and feet. I love when my wife has to fuss with hers - adjusting, etc. 
I guess growing up, for me women acting sexy with their legs was a display of power and sexuality. Pantyhose ads, etc.


----------



## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

I like the legs and feet to be naked. Just the soft smooth skin in my hands and other places...awesome feeling. Not hating on hose though. Just not my thing.


----------



## ladynsniffer (Oct 19, 2012)

Personally, I think men are born with a predisposition to fetish. I would add that childhood experiences and puberty can greatly amplify a man's fetish desires. Here's what I mean...

Men have wildly different attractions to women. I am attracted to very curvy women (almost BBW sized), large breasts and ass. I also greatly prefer blond and strawberry blond redheads. Several friends of mine are very attracted to flat chested and very skinny girls. I can't understand their taste and they can't understand mine. This is good because if all men desired the exact same female body type, many of us would find ourselves out of luck for female companionship.

Women are attractive to men. Everything about women turn men on. Mother nature intended this to happen. Some men, myself included, find that some of our attractions are way more powerful than others. Just like I am attracted to curvy women, I am also greatly aroused by a woman's scent. I adore having my face between my wife's thighs or ass cheeks (sniffing her panties is great too). I also love her feet, especially after sex when they are sweaty.

Since before I ever had any kind of sex with a woman, I knew my taste in women and what would turn me on. I just knew it. I hungered for it. And when I was finally intimate with a woman, my desires were confirmed. My wife is okay with my need to sniff after her ass.

There are lots of fetishes. I know my own. I cannot believe it is just from childhood experiences. In fact, I cannot identify any childhood experiences that would give rise to any of my sexual fetishes. I had a normal and loving childhood in my home. However, outside our home, at school, I had it rough. Puberty came very late for me. Also, I have a very under developed penis and testicles (micro penis). High school gym class was so painful I just stopped going. Rejection from women was very high. In college, I was a virgin until senior year.

Women have their own fetishes. Since I am very submissive towards women I look for dominant females. Some are true sadists and some couldn't hurt a man no matter what. Why do women get pedicures and have a closet full of shoes? Is it because men are attracted to their feet? My wife loves having me sniff after her but she has sex with very well endowed black men. 

As I look over my past, I am certain that fetishes come from a combination of the attractions we are born with and our experiences with intimacy.

Marcus


----------



## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

sinnister said:


> I like the legs and feet to be naked. Just the soft smooth skin in my hands and other places...awesome feeling. Not hating on hose though. Just not my thing.


While I like stockings, I have to admit, seeing a woman in a t-shirt and bare legs is an instant erection for me


----------



## Carpe (May 12, 2012)

From reading the above posts, it does not seem that the word "fetish" has any universally accepted meaning. For some, it means a preference, for others a requirement. I don't have any real requirements for sex, other than that it be with a woman. But I certainly have preferences, and I am at a total loss to explain them on any Freudian-type basis of relating it to a childhood experience.

I find thigh-high stockings (especially with garter belts) very sexy, but pantyhose not at all. Why? who knows. I am more turned on by older women than younger. I find pubic hair on women off-putting, while some guys find it sexy. I (like one of the prior posters) love curvy women with big breasts, while some guys like skinny girls with a-cups. 

Are any of these preferences fetishes? I don't know. Maybe a fetish is just a preference that is relatively uncommon. For instance I kind of think of my preference for older women as a fetish, because I know it's not shared by that many other guys. No one says that a guy who prefers 21 year olds has a fetish, but that's just because it's the norm. And my favorite sexual position would probably be giving my wife analingus. Is that a fetish? Maybe, since most guys would probably rate that down the list compared to, say, PIV intercourse.


----------



## east2west (Oct 19, 2012)

My earliest sexual fantasies were around age 4. But they started getting all twisted around age 7.

I never saw any porn except for a couple old issues of playboy I found in the garage. But it was nothing like the stuff going on in my head. I had no idea where that stuff was coming from and I didn't know how to deal with it. It was my darkest secret.

Later on I figured out dad is wired much the same as me. Must be something genetic about it.


----------

