# Husband bought and hid video camera in our bathroom for weeks. Why?



## ladymalin

I am asking for feedback from all you guys reading this. Why would a man hide a video camera in the bathroom for weeks and not tell his wife? Should I be worried that videos have been posted online, does he not trust me, or is there some other explanation?:scratchhead:


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## LouAnn Poovy

*Do you have children!?*


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## Holland

Did you ask him for an explanation?


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## Gaia

This is odd....... I'm with Holland. Did you confront and ask him about it?


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## Gaia

LouAnn does have a point as well. Do you have any children?


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## *LittleDeer*

That's wrong on so many levels for so many reasons.


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## Anon Pink

Those are the actions of a person who doesn't respect you, and your privacy has been invaded in a most despicable way! This is not a person who's words or deeds can be trusted, no matter what his explanations are. If you have children RUN!


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## dallasapple

Yes its wrong.A complete violation.A possible explanation though could be hes a voyeur.But you are going to have to confront him one way or the other especially on the off chance he is putting those images online.


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## ScarletBegonias

A hidden camera in the home,in ANY room, if put there without your knowledge is a huge violation of trust and privacy.The fact that it's a camera in the bathroom makes it all the more sickening and creepy.I hope you first rip that damn camera out of whatever hiding place it's currently in and second I hope you confront him with it and demand an explanation.

Unless there's more to your story that you aren't sharing such as affairs and things along that line that would cause a man to go crazy enough to hide a camera in the home...


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## trey69

I agree with the others. This is an invasion of privacy, and a major concern if you have kids.


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## Almostrecovered

news flash- there are creepy men out there who get off on sharing hidden camera videos of their wives (or worse children) or other women with likeminded creeps


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## unbelievable

I think you can rule out "doesn't trust me". If he suspected an affair, the camera would be in the bedroom. This sounds like pervert play (unless maybe there were prescription meds in the cabinet and he was trying to catch someone stealing them). Where is the focus of the camera? If it's on the shower or the toilet, it's perv play. If it's on the medicine cabinet, he might be guarding something in the cabinet. 
Who else uses your bathroom?


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## Shaggy

Where was it pointed and what sort cam was it.?

Was it actually recording or just bring used to each live?

Do you have a habit of spending time in the bathroom texting or talking on the phone?


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## ladymalin

At the time he hid the camera, we did not have children. I've just always wondered why he did this. At the time, I had a job that was very flexible and I could work from home. Around this time, there were times in which 2 or 3 weeks went by without him being interested in sex, but he spent time in our home office on the computer in the mornings. I expressed to him at the time that I was tempted to look elsewhere because my needs were not being met, though I never cheated. I had noticed some lights in the bathroom at night (tiny red/green dots) shining through a hole in a box and I checked it out one day. He did not confess to knowing anything about the camera until I suggested we call the police in case there was some pervert in the neighborhood. So he had hidden the camera and then lied to me. It's been years since this happened but it still bothers me.


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## Sanity

Demand to see the contents of the camera and ask WHY its there.


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## unbelievable

Ok, so surely he explained some reason for putting a camera in the bathroom? I'm a little anxious to hear how the perv explained himself.


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## trey69

Its been years since he put the camera there, and its still there? 
You said at the time you had no children when he first put the camera in, so do you have kids now?


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## Gaia

How many children do you have and how old are they?


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## ScarletBegonias

I'm confused now.Can you give us some time frames and more details about the whole situation? You said you were going to cheat on him bc he wasn't interested in sex as much and then you found a hidden camera.Any explanation for why he wasn't into sex then? Is he into it now?Is the camera still there?


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## unbelievable

He's not exactly James Bond, installing a "covert" camera with the LED lights still connected and visible. Hope he wasn't intending to make spy work a paying career.


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## Shaggy

So this was years ago that this all happened?


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## MissMe

This whole think smells funny.


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## CallaLily

MissMe said:


> This whole think smells funny.


I agree! :iagree:

Why would you let a camera still be in your bathroom all these years? You could have taken it out, or called someone to take it out for you correct? 

I guess you are ok with it being there since its been years? What was his reason(s) for having it in there to begin with?


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## ladymalin

unbelievable said:


> I think you can rule out "doesn't trust me". If he suspected an affair, the camera would be in the bedroom. This sounds like pervert play (unless maybe there were prescription meds in the cabinet and he was trying to catch someone stealing them). Where is the focus of the camera? If it's on the shower or the toilet, it's perv play. If it's on the medicine cabinet, he might be guarding something in the cabinet.
> Who else uses your bathroom?


It was just the two of us in the house, so no one else used our bathroom and there were no medications to worry about. The focus of the camera was on the toilet and the sink area, where I spent lots of time blow drying my hair, putting on makeup, etc., before getting dressed in the morning.


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## Pault

There a range of questions here that YOU need an answer to. Even after all this time.

Where are the recordings now if indeed there were recordings

If they were live feeds - of what and who.

If they were of you - why? Was he hoping to see you do something in the bath that you didnt/wouldnt do in bed?

Was the recording of family/friends if it yes who and where are these recordings at the very least if live feeds who would he have recorded, Did you have female friends or family stay over?

This is not the normal behaviour of anyone unless they intend using the camera for their own sexual gratification or they were looking for evidence - did he, as one replies touches suspect that you were using the bathroom for secret calls?

The fact he was caught and denied that the camera was placed by him in his own bathroom is really a worry unless he can really come up with a good explaination.... I cant think of even a good one NOW never mind ifI were caught doing what he did.

The main issue here is your peace of mind and as suggested by others the safety of young people in the household or using the household.


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## ladymalin

CallaLily said:


> I agree! :iagree:
> 
> Why would you let a camera still be in your bathroom all these years? You could have taken it out, or called someone to take it out for you correct?
> 
> I guess you are ok with it being there since its been years? What was his reason(s) for having it in there to begin with?


The camera was removed immediately after I discovered it. Please, give me a little credit.


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## CallaLily

ladymalin said:


> The focus of the camera was on the toilet and the sink area,


So he had a thing for watching you brush your teeth and take a pee? :scratchhead:


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## CallaLily

ladymalin said:


> The camera was removed immediately after I discovered it. Please, give me a little credit.


You never stated if whether or not it had been removed when you first said it was installed years ago..so yeah some people might think it was still there.


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## unbelievable

Then the object was to get footage of you on the toilet or naked at the sink. Whether he was getting his jollies by just looking at these images or whether he was sharing them with other pervs is a different matter. Whatever he said, you really couldn't believe because he's already violated your trust about as badly as a human can.


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## unbelievable

CallaLily said:


> So he had a thing for watching you brush your teeth and take a pee? :scratchhead:


 Trust me, you don't even want to know what turns some people on.


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## Sanity

unbelievable said:


> Trust me, you don't even want to know what turns some people on.


Your posts turn me on LOL J/K :rofl:


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## Sanity

OP,

Ask for the camera and have him let you watch the contents NOW!


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## toonaive

regardless of the reasons, I think thats just creepy.


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## CallaLily

Sanity said:


> OP,
> 
> Ask for the camera and have him let you watch the contents NOW!


:smthumbup:

I'm still wondering what he said to her when she asked him why the camera was even there.


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## Plan 9 from OS

ladymalin said:


> At the time he hid the camera, we did not have children. I've just always wondered why he did this. At the time, *I had a job that was very flexible and I could work from home.* Around this time, there were times in which 2 or 3 weeks went by without him being interested in sex, but he spent time in our home office on the computer in the mornings. *I expressed to him at the time that I was tempted to look elsewhere because my needs were not being met, though I never cheated.* I had noticed some lights in the bathroom at night (tiny red/green dots) shining through a hole in a box and I checked it out one day. He did not confess to knowing anything about the camera until I suggested we call the police in case there was some pervert in the neighborhood. So he had hidden the camera and then lied to me. It's been years since this happened but it still bothers me.


Have new cameras popped up recently, or are you trying to figure out something that happened years ago? Based on how you described the camera positioning, its likely that he has some fetish of seeing you in the bathroom. However, based on what I highlighted, it's possible that he was looking for proof that you were stepping out on him. Were there cameras anywhere else? Has he been looking at your phone or has he been tracking your movement via GPS or even recording you with VARS? If you've seen any of those items along with the bathroom cam, he may have been trying to bust you. Just an alternative explanation - especially if the description of bathroom pervert does not describe your husband.

But you may need to go into clandestine ops mode yourself if you are suspecting him of being a sexual deviant. You may need to search is computer, phone, etc to see if he's hiding huge caches of porn - especially bathroom fetish stuff.


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## CallaLily

Plan 9 from OS said:


> However, based on what I highlighted, it's possible that he was looking for proof that you were stepping out on him.


I would think if that were the case, he would have had a camera in the bedroom or some other place...although anything is possible. I wonder too, if there have been other cameras hidden places the OP knows nothing about.


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## Plan 9 from OS

CallaLily said:


> I would think if that were the case, he would have had a camera in the bedroom or some other place...although anything is possible. I wonder too, if there have been other cameras hidden places the OP knows nothing about.


True, but if the guy is a boob then who knows... Nothing beats wild speculation than frank discussions...


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## In_The_Wind

Do Yall entertain alot maybe its for him to look at others as well as you sounds kinda creepy to me


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## EnjoliWoman

If I were you, I'd hire a private investigator to sweep your house for bugs and other video cameras. 

If it was a kink, it hasn't gone away and I'd be concerned that he only got better at hiding them; especially with pinhole lenses so easily available.

If it was distrust it sounds like there were other issues leading up to lack of intimacy that should be addressed with marriage counseling. Maybe he didn't want to SEE you in the act (images hard to get rid of) and assumed a male lover in the house would use the bathroom?

But agreed this is a huge violation of privacy and you two need to communicate about stuff instead of spy. This would be a deal breaker for me. I'm all for transparency with phone records, computer passwords, bank accounts, etc. but spying in secret not acceptable.


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## larry.gray

Almostrecovered said:


> news flash- there are creepy men out there who get off on sharing hidden camera videos of their wives (or worse children) or other women with likeminded creeps


Not to freak you out even more.... but there are plenty of websites devoted to sharing that kind of crap.


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## Theseus

Finally the last few comments show a clue about what was going on. 

I guarantee you that the camera was not for you or your kids. It was for whenever your sister/friend/family/guests or anyone else comes in your home. That's why it was pointed at the toilet instead of the bath/shower. Guests normally wouldn't use your shower, but they will use your toilet.


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## SlowlyGettingWiser

From the little bit of info you've shared, OP, I'm in agreement with Plan 9 from OS. I think *YOU* believe this as well.

I think your H believed YOU when you said you were considering cheating on him.

The 2 most common places people go to have a PRIVATE CONVERSATION (arrange a liaison) is:

1.) the bathroom (one expects to be ALONE in here and can speak quietly without fear of interruption)

2.) the car (which is WHY the CWI crowd recommends VARs be placed under the driver's seat...cheaters drive away from the house and THEN make private phone calls to arrange liaisons).

Don't see how this is so difficult to understand. You DID THREATEN HIM with starting up an affair. Why would he put a camera in the bedroom...surely he wouldn't think you were stupid enough to bring affair partners to YOUR home where neighbors could see, report, gossip about your mid-day meet-ups?!?

If you have no reason to believe this has continued, then I'd just let it go. And I would recommend you not THREATEN affairs as, obviously, that doesn't do the marriage ANY good!


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## dallasapple

ladymalin said:


> At the time he hid the camera, we did not have children. I've just always wondered why he did this. At the time, I had a job that was very flexible and I could work from home. Around this time, there were times in which 2 or 3 weeks went by without him being interested in sex, but he spent time in our home office on the computer in the mornings. I expressed to him at the time that I was tempted to look elsewhere because my needs were not being met, though I never cheated. I had noticed some lights in the bathroom at night (tiny red/green dots) shining through a hole in a box and I checked it out one day. He did not confess to knowing anything about the camera until I suggested we call the police in case there was some pervert in the neighborhood. So he had hidden the camera and then lied to me. It's been years since this happened but it still bothers me.


It makes no sense at all to me as someone else mentioned if he suspected an affair going on IN the house he would have set up a camera in the bathroom and especially ONLY in the bathroom.If he had a camera in every room I could see that.But who would if its suspecting an affair think "I'll catch them in the bathroom"?


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## Caribbean Man

My goodness!
What would these guys think of next?


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## EnjoliWoman

Plan 9 from OS said:


> True, but if the guy is a boob then who knows... Nothing beats wild speculation than frank discussions...


She tried frank discussion and he denied it until she was going to call the cops. Discussion is not an option any longer. If she asks if there are more cameras, he'd say no and she'd always wonder. Having the house searched by an expert is the way to go.

It's definitely distrust or a kink; if it were just distrust he'd have a camera on the front door or bedroom door, not the toilet.


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## CallaLily

Since he went weeks with out having sex with you, and then you threatened to have an affair, I think you both made wrong moves, on things.

However, you need to get to the bottom of WHY he stopped having sex with you for weeks. Is that still going on? You said he would spend more time on the computer, so do you think he had someone he was chatting with? Or maybe he was looking at the things he recorded from the camera? How much access do you have to the computer? Do you think you could find any answers there?


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## dallasapple

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> From the little bit of info you've shared, OP, I'm in agreement with Plan 9 from OS. I think *YOU* believe this as well.
> 
> I think your H believed YOU when you said you were considering cheating on him.
> 
> The 2 most common places people go to have a PRIVATE CONVERSATION (arrange a liaison) is:
> 
> 1.) the bathroom (one expects to be ALONE in here and can speak quietly without fear of interruption)
> 
> 2.) the car (which is WHY the CWI crowd recommends VARs be placed under the driver's seat...cheaters drive away from the house and THEN make private phone calls to arrange liaisons).
> 
> Don't see how this is so difficult to understand. You DID THREATEN HIM with starting up an affair. Why would he put a camera in the bedroom...surely he wouldn't think you were stupid enough to bring affair partners to YOUR home where neighbors could see, report, gossip about your mid-day meet-ups?!?
> 
> If you have no reason to believe this has continued, then I'd just let it go. And I would recommend you not THREATEN affairs as, obviously, that doesn't do the marriage ANY good!


there is a difference in a voice activated recorder and a video camera .I'm thinking voyeur.The bathroom is the most likely place that sooner or later daily you will be naked.I'm assuming this was a bathroom with a shower and or tub not just a toilet.


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## ladymalin

Sanity said:


> OP,
> 
> Ask for the camera and have him let you watch the contents NOW!


It was several years ago, so I don't think it's possible to view it unless he didn't erase it like he *said* he did.


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## Jamison

I hope we haven't lost the OP, maybe she just hasn't had time to reply with more answers to questions people have asked. 

IMO, if this is something that happened years ago, and there is no longer a camera like you said, I'm not sure why it still bothers you now. Unless either the answers he gave you to your questions about him installing the camera didn't add up, or maybe you feel he could still be doing this camera thing.

How is your relationship with him now?


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## dallasapple

Ladymalin,

What was his answer as to why he did it?


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## EnjoliWoman

dallasapple said:


> It makes no sense at all to me as someone else mentioned if he suspected an affair going on IN the house he would have set up a camera in the bathroom and especially ONLY in the bathroom.If he had a camera in every room I could see that.But who would if its suspecting an affair think "I'll catch them in the bathroom"?


I'm only thinking that once you've SEEN your spouse having sex with someone else that's an image you can't get out of your head and most people use the bathroom after sex, whether to use the toilet, clean up, etc.

But mostly I think he has a weird fetish or is using the video to post online for some reason.


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## dallasapple

Did I miss something ?It was pointed at the toilet?Hmm weird fettish/voyeurism?


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## Jamison

When I first read this thread, it reminded me of this website a coworker of mine used to go to. I don't remember the name, but it was of peoples spouses, or b/f and g/f's etc, doing whatever. It was anything from, a woman standing there in her bathing suit, to someone spread eagle on the couch, to a woman sitting on the toilet. I'm not saying thats what the OP husband was doing with that camera by no means, but it did remind me of that.


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## ladymalin

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> From the little bit of info you've shared, OP, I'm in agreement with Plan 9 from OS. I think *YOU* believe this as well.
> 
> I think your H believed YOU when you said you were considering cheating on him.
> 
> The 2 most common places people go to have a PRIVATE CONVERSATION (arrange a liaison) is:
> 
> 1.) the bathroom (one expects to be ALONE in here and can speak quietly without fear of interruption)
> 
> 2.) the car (which is WHY the CWI crowd recommends VARs be placed under the driver's seat...cheaters drive away from the house and THEN make private phone calls to arrange liaisons).
> 
> Don't see how this is so difficult to understand. You DID THREATEN HIM with starting up an affair. Why would he put a camera in the bedroom...surely he wouldn't think you were stupid enough to bring affair partners to YOUR home where neighbors could see, report, gossip about your mid-day meet-ups?!?
> 
> If you have no reason to believe this has continued, then I'd just let it go. And I would recommend you not THREATEN affairs as, obviously, that doesn't do the marriage ANY good!





EnjoliWoman said:


> She tried frank discussion and he denied it until she was going to call the cops. Discussion is not an option any longer. If she asks if there are more cameras, he'd say no and she'd always wonder. Having the house searched by an expert is the way to go.
> 
> It's definitely distrust or a kink; if it were just distrust he'd have a camera on the front door or bedroom door, not the toilet.





CallaLily said:


> Since he went weeks with out having sex with you, and then you threatened to have an affair, I think you both made wrong moves, on things.
> 
> However, you need to get to the bottom of WHY he stopped having sex with you for weeks. Is that still going on? You said he would spend more time on the computer, so do you think he had someone he was chatting with? Or maybe he was looking at the things he recorded from the camera? How much access do you have to the computer? Do you think you could find any answers there?





Jamison said:


> I hope we haven't lost the OP, maybe she just hasn't had time to reply with more answers to questions people have asked.
> 
> IMO, if this is something that happened years ago, and there is no longer a camera like you said, I'm not sure why it still bothers you now. Unless either the answers he gave you to your questions about him installing the camera didn't add up, or maybe you feel he could still be doing this camera thing.
> 
> How is your relationship with him now?





dallasapple said:


> Ladymalin,
> 
> What was his answer as to why he did it?


Wow, you all are a very active bunch! Thank you for all the replies. I'll see if I can respond to as many comments as possible. I clicked on a bunch of posts with the 'multi' button but not all of them are showing above my comments here. Anyway, I was just trying to understand something that happened years ago. I did not threaten an affair, but rather made a statement of fact in an open/honest discussion, that I was feeling tempted because of the lack of attention. There's a difference between threatening one and expressing that your physical desires are that badly in need of attention.
When asked his reasoning for placing the camera, he said he was "just testing" the camera. During the time frame it was in place, we did not have any house guests. 
We now have a preschool aged child. I currently have no reason to believe there are cameras in the house. Our relationship is okay. Any lack of activity now is most likely related to having an active toddler to chase and very little free time as hubby is finishing some graduate work. 
My biggest concern was whether any video was ever posted online. At some point I may want to have further discussion with hubby. I'm just afraid to bring it up after several years because I'm sure he'll view it as dredging up old history. But I was very upset that he lied to me by disavowing any knowledge of the camera until I suggested we have police investigation in case someone had been in our house.
He has a fairly good working knowledge of technology and if he ever wanted to cover his tracks, he could easily have done it.


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## ScarletBegonias

ladymalin said:


> I'm just afraid to bring it up after several years He hid a camera.In the bathroom.Aimed at the toilet and sink.LIED about it when confronted. and you're afraid to bring it up just because so much time has gone by? Do you understand how messed up that is hon?because I'm sure he'll view it as dredging up old history.It was never resolved.It will keep being "dredged up" until ALL FEELINGS about it are resolved. But I was very upset that he lied to me by disavowing any knowledge of the camera until I suggested we have police investigation in case someone had been in our house.
> He has a fairly good working knowledge of technology and if he ever wanted to cover his tracks, he could easily have done it.


I think you need to bring it up and get your feelings out.Imagine holding this in for the rest of your life...not good.


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## Entropy3000

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> From the little bit of info you've shared, OP, I'm in agreement with Plan 9 from OS. I think *YOU* believe this as well.
> 
> I think your H believed YOU when you said you were considering cheating on him.
> 
> The 2 most common places people go to have a PRIVATE CONVERSATION (arrange a liaison) is:
> 
> 1.) the bathroom (one expects to be ALONE in here and can speak quietly without fear of interruption)
> 
> 2.) the car (which is WHY the CWI crowd recommends VARs be placed under the driver's seat...cheaters drive away from the house and THEN make private phone calls to arrange liaisons).
> 
> Don't see how this is so difficult to understand. You DID THREATEN HIM with starting up an affair. Why would he put a camera in the bedroom...surely he wouldn't think you were stupid enough to bring affair partners to YOUR home where neighbors could see, report, gossip about your mid-day meet-ups?!?
> 
> If you have no reason to believe this has continued, then I'd just let it go. And I would recommend you not THREATEN affairs as, obviously, that doesn't do the marriage ANY good!


Yes. Bathroom pics sent as part of sexting are common as well.

Ineed she did tell him she was thinking about going outside the marriage.

Do I think this is what was going on? Perhaps not but something to consider.

She should have been concerned he was sharing this on the internet but it is not the only possibility. Likely this was vouyeur stuff.


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## dallasapple

> But I was very upset that he lied to me by disavowing any knowledge of the camera until I suggested we have police investigation in case someone had been in our house.


Speaking of lie detector test LOL(we have that discussion going on another thread).If it was as simple as "testing the camera" why did he deny even doing it in the first place?That sounds like "guilt".

+ if he had a to "test a camera" why a hidden one?Why not just say "I have to "test this camera" so I think I'm going to set it up in the kitchen if you don't mind and aim it at the stove?And why do you need to "test a camera" for 3 weeks too?

If I want to test a camera I turn in on and hit record for a few seconds then roll it back and see how it did ...


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## Jamison

I think its possible your husband has another side to him you may not know much about. You can "test"a camera without having to leave it up for weeks. I'm assuming when you suggested the police get involved and check things out, is when he took the camera down? Kinda weird to me.


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## ladymalin

Jamison said:


> I think its possible your husband has another side to him you may not know much about. You can "test"a camera without having to leave it up for weeks. I'm assuming when you suggested the police get involved and check things out, is when he took the camera down? Kinda weird to me.


I took the camera down when I found it. He didn't confess to being the one who set it up until I mentioned concerns that someone had been in our house and wanted to call the police. 
Until that point, it did not occur to me that he would place a camera anywhere in our house and not tell me.


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## Jamison

ladymalin said:


> I took the camera down when I found it. He didn't confess to being the one who set it up until I mentioned concerns that someone had been in our house and wanted to call the police.
> Until that point, it did not occur to me that he would place a camera anywhere in our house and not tell me.


You said he told you he was just testing it. Did he say testing it for what? Do you believe him when he said he was just testing it? 

IMO, if you feel things are fine now between you both, then I say let it go. If you're having doubts ( which I think you are) then it might be a good idea to get a professional to come in and check your house over to make sure nothing else like that is set up in the house. Might be a good idea to have the computer checked as well.


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## CallaLily

Even though this happened years ago, I would still feel a little uncomfortable if it were me. I would feel like maybe I was still being watched. And it shouldn't be like that in your own home. 

Cameras now a days come in all shapes and sizes, doesn't have have to be something installed in a ceiling or wall or whatever. It could be a pen laying on the desk, a wall clock, a power outlet, smoke alarm etc etc.


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## SlowlyGettingWiser

OP:

Have you also considered that since he was 'testing' it, he wanted to see how well it would function and interact with his computer; after which he INTENDED to install it SOMEWHERE OTHER THAN your house (which was the original test site) to watch SOMEONE ELSE? Perhaps he did that anyway? Perhaps that camera (or one like it) is hidden somewhere else and there is someone else he wants to watch!

If he's a lot more tech-savvy than you, then YOU would probably NOT be able to locate any files on his computer pertaining to a currently-enabled set-up like this!

Good luck! Sounds like a rather untrustworthy husband with questionable behavior/motives whom you're afraid to confront because it would 'upset' him! Doesn't bode well, long-term.


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## dallasapple

CallaLily said:


> Even though this happened years ago, I would still feel a little uncomfortable if it were me. I would feel like maybe I was still being watched. And it shouldn't be like that in your own home.
> 
> Cameras now a days come in all shapes and sizes, doesn't have have to be something installed in a ceiling or wall or whatever. It could be a pen laying on the desk, a wall clock, a power outlet, smoke alarm etc etc.


I agree it would bother me though because not only did he lie (say he didn't do it) but his reason he gave when he admitted it sounds like BS. IOW its "unresolved" now of course she has to "wonder" why he really did it..and since there was no real resolution if he would do that once and feel justified (for whatever his REAL reason was) she has to wonder if he is or will do it again.If she knew the real reason they could have discussed his issue and tried to come to some sort of understanding.

Also if he suspected he she was having an affair not only is it bizarre to think of catching her lover peeing in the toilet after they had sex somewhere else in the house..but why would he have not just confessed if that is what a hidden camera anywhere in the house was for?I know LOTS of people who have gotten caught snooping or spying due to reasonable suspicion of an affair and when caught that is revealed.In fact it might (if the circumstances aren't bizarre) be the first thing the spied on one THINKS their spouse did it for.


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## dallasapple

> Have you also considered that since he was 'testing' it, he wanted to see how well it would function and interact with his computer;


OP how do you know the camera was in there for weeks?Or have we assumed that?Because you removed it when you found it you said?How do you know he hadn't just put it there?You said you noticed a light glowing in the bathroom at night.


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## chillymorn

so let me get this straight.


he hid a camera in the bathroom pointed at the comode/sink
you found it by accident 
you asked him about it and he denied it until you said you were going to call the cops
you never seen what was on them
he said he would erease it
now your courious about what was on them and if he ever erased it


you swept this envasion of your privacy under the rug and now years later your trying to find out what would caused this behavior. 


I would be looking for more cameras in today day and age they are sooooo small they could be anywhere.


so hows your relationship now?

I'm betting some red flags or a gut feeling has something to do with your couriosity.


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## chillymorn

he might think he got away with it once and it blew over pretty easy so might as well try with better technology she might not ever catch it again.

huge violation of trust! why didn't you demand to see them?


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## totamm

ladymalin said:


> When asked his reasoning for placing the camera, he said he was "just testing" the camera.


Well part of the problem here is that you are afraid to confront him on what is obviously a completely BS reason.

He first denies placing the camera, then admits it, then says he was just testing it.. by placing it in a bathroom?

Of course it makes no sense, of course he's being deceptive, yet you just totally drop the subject and accept what he tells you.

That was just one of what is probably a long list of big mistakes.

It's never too late to call him out on it.


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## Maneo

So why are you asking about this now and not any other time in the years since it happened? Is there some specific reason you bring this to the surface now? Any action by your husband that has prompted your questions?

There is little, if anything we on this forum can do except speculate and assume and mix our own subjective views on this. Your husband holds the answers. 

What do you seek and why? Why now and not when it happened or two years ago or one year ago or six months ago ? Why does this matter now?


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## Anon Pink

Your You Serious!!!!!

Telling this woman she deserves to have her bathroom moments spied on because her husband suspected her of having an affair?

Unbelievable!


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## totamm

Anon Pink said:


> Your You Serious!!!!!
> 
> Telling this woman she deserves to have her bathroom moments spied on because her husband suspected her of having an affair?
> 
> Unbelievable!


Who are you talking to?


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## A Bit Much

I think he's a perv. I also think that it's bothering you now years later because A) it wasn't properly addressed and left more questions years ago that haven't been answered and B) you feel weird about letting this freaky and strange discovery about your husband go.


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## wilson

Hiding a camera like that is so bizarre, I have trouble believing that would be the only time. I would guess he has a certain fetish. Those typically don't go away.

They make hidden cameras in normal objects like smoke detectors, clocks, pens, key fobs, light bulbs, anything. Search for 'hidden camera' or 'nanny cam' and you'll see what I mean. Take a good look around your bedroom/bathroom and make sure there isn't something like that.


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## youkiddingme

Seems like two big problems here. ONe.....he is a liar with some perverted hobbies. Two, you accept crazy explanations for his perversions.
He violated your trust by placing a camera there. He lied about putting it there after you found it. And then he lied about why he put it there....he said he was just testing it? 
Normal people do not put hidden cameras in bathrooms....and he was not just testing it. Unless he tested it to see if it would work and he now has it installed somewhere else....in someone elses bathroom.
I think you should secretly install key loggers on his computer. I would bet you lunch you will be amazed.
In the mean time....how do YOU learn to not be so gullibleand accepting of lies and perverted acts???? I don't know.


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## Blue Firefly

chillymorn said:


> he might think he got away with it once and it blew over pretty easy so might as well try with better technology she might not ever catch it again.
> 
> huge violation of trust! why didn't you demand to see them?


If he had gotten away with a ONS with another woman this easily, do you think he would have said to himself "I'll never do that again"? No, he would have thought: "I got off so easy that that there's not much risk in doing it again."

Maybe he's being a little extra careful, but there's no reason to think getting caught did anything to deter his activities (whatever they were).


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## *LittleDeer*

The womans sexual needs were not being met, likely because her husband was having his needs met via his computer.

The Op was honest with her husband about him not meeting her needs and how it was leading her to think about being with others. More people in sexless marriages need to be honest.

This does not mean for one second that he had any right to watch you in the bathroom and record you. It's beyond creepy.


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## elizabethdennis

This is odd. I think he owes you an explanation. He is violating privacy issues here. Why would he do that to his own wife?


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## ColemanBooks

There are pretty strange guys in the world. I work with some that will show you unbelievable distasteful pics of their wives and wonder why you are uncomfortable when they do. Would suck to be a woman and married to one of them. Find out what his deal is.


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## Terry_CO

ladymalin said:


> ...At the time, I had a job that was very flexible and I could work from home. Around this time, there were times in which 2 or 3 weeks went by without him being interested in sex, but he spent time in our home office on the computer in the mornings. I expressed to him at the time that I was tempted to look elsewhere because my needs were not being met, though I never cheated. ...


Only two or three weeks, _and you threatened to cheat on him in order to get laid?_ :scratchhead:

Your marriage problems are deeper and more serious than you let on originally.

I'd tell you to not net the door hit you in the a$$ on the way out


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## trey69

IMO, if the OP really wanted to know why he installed the camera, what was on it, or the computer and why he stopped with the sex, then she would look further into all of this. Sometimes people say they want to know, when really they don't.


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## ladymalin

Wow. Tons of input here. Thank you for those who have provided valuable insight/suggestions.
TerryCo, you're an a**hole. Anyone who has greater sexual needs than their spouse who consistently has to do without because their spouse doesn't feel like it is hurting, and being honest about that is not the same as a threat. Throw a bipolar mother in law with frequent hospitalizations and incessant phone ringing on top of that and you've got a spouse who puts up with A LOT. 
If you're married, I pity your spouse. You, sir, are an imbecile.
Trey69, I do want to know. Unfortunately, my spouse is way more tech savvy than I am, and I firmly believe he would easily detect a key logging software. I plan on enlisting the help of a sibling who is equally tech savvy to see what I can do. However, because I live far away, it will have to wait until the next time I am visiting family.


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## MandyPoo

Theseus said:


> I guarantee you that the camera was not for you or your kids. It was for whenever your *sister/friend/family/guests* or anyone else comes in your home. That's why it was pointed at the toilet instead of the bath/shower. *Guests normally wouldn't use your shower, but they will use your toilet*.


:iagree: Well, somewhat. I think the camera was placed to record you AND your sister/friend/family/guests. To be honest, I don't think you'll ever really find out the truth because your husband's already shown himself to be a liar. He likely was afraid of having you contact the police because he'd been recording you, your friends, your family, and all their children who use that toilet and he didn't want to have to delete his creep-tastic video cache or get caught with those videos and have to stand trial. 

This guy throws up some big creepy red flags.


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## IronhorseCowboy

It could be possible that he is sharing the videos with others on the internet and that in turn he is getting pictures and videos of other men's wives.

That is something to think about.


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## SouthernMiss

I know this sounds reactionary...and I'm the usually the last person to scream "divorce him!" but WOW WOW WOW...if my husband were to do that to me, I could never, ever trust him again. Ever. 

To take away your feelings of safety and privacy in your own home? And to know that threat comes from your own husband? OP, you do NOT deserve that.

Of course, you are still bothered by this. That's your normal, natural and healthy instincts. 

He wasn't testing the camera. If so, why wouldn't he put it in an innocuous place AND tell you he's got it up and running to test it? That's not just a lie. That's a poor lie.

Under no circumstances would I ever trust a man like that again. And again, I don't mean to sound reactionary...but I would not trust my child around him either. 

He's a sicko. And you can't trust a sicko. Not ever. Sexual deviants don't get better without intensive introspection and therapy. And even then...



Please don't let this go. You didn't stand up for yourself back then. Be a better woman, and stand up for yourself today. You were violated in a serious way by the person you should be able to trust above all others.


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## SouthernMiss

Terry_CO said:


> Only two or three weeks, _and you threatened to cheat on him in order to get laid?_ :scratchhead:
> 
> Your marriage problems are deeper and more serious than you let on originally.
> 
> I'd tell you to not net the door hit you in the a$$ on the way out


I think she was explaining her temptations, not threatening an affair. Perhaps she could have handled it better, but that doesn't have a lot to do with her current predicament.

For some people, by the way - I count myself in this group - 2 to 3 weeks without sex is a MAJOR problem. That is unacceptable. If it had been 2 or 3 DAYS and my husband didn't want sex, I would be frustrated as hell.


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## betrayed2013

sounds like to me that he wanted to watch u go to the bathroom. There is a def. poss. he posted online. I check out porn sites and there are endless categories and bathroom cams have gotta be in there too. And u must have had some guests use the bathroom while the camera was there. I wonder how long it was there. 2 weeks, a year? who really knows. If he is tech savvy, he prob. has the files hidden deep in the hard drive or on a flash drive that he could literally hide n e where. Trust me, he prob kept the video. He is clearly a little off to do that to someone he loves, so dont put it past him. I use to make videos with my wife and i having sex, but i would delete them out of respect for her the next day. We'd watch it once and then do a mutual delete and we were fine with it. We wouldnt want the kids to accidentally stumble upon them lol. or have it end up online somewhere. In anycase, he still has the videos somewhere but he'll never admit to that, becuz he is tech savvy and you'll never find them. I cant guarantee it but why would he do a hidden cam and then delete them? he has no reason to. I'd def. look into this further


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## Blue Firefly

betrayed2013 said:


> sounds like to me that he wanted to watch u go to the bathroom. There is a def. poss. he posted online. I check out porn sites and there are endless categories and bathroom cams have gotta be in there too. And u must have had some guests use the bathroom while the camera was there. I wonder how long it was there. 2 weeks, a year? who really knows. If he is tech savvy, he prob. has the files hidden deep in the hard drive or on a flash drive that he could literally hide n e where. Trust me, he prob kept the video. He is clearly a little off to do that to someone he loves, so dont put it past him. I use to make videos with my wife and i having sex, but i would delete them out of respect for her the next day. We'd watch it once and then do a mutual delete and we were fine with it. We wouldnt want the kids to accidentally stumble upon them lol. or have it end up online somewhere. In anycase, he still has the videos somewhere but he'll never admit to that, becuz he is tech savvy and you'll never find them. I cant guarantee it but why would he do a hidden cam and then delete them? he has no reason to. I'd def. look into this further


She should also look for any compressed files that are password protected (.zip, .7z, etc...);

Do a search on his computer for any files with those formats. If you find one, try to open it. If it asks for a password...you've got a problem.


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## ubercoolpanda

OP- have you demanded that your husband show you what he has recorded?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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