# Finally at the end of my divorce...now what?



## jjb1027 (Feb 12, 2016)

Finally, at the end of this long ass journey. Just wanted to simply share my experience with the world. Long story short – my no fault divorce is finally in the last stages of paper work. 90 days have passed and we just need a couple more signatures and we will be done. My wife decided that she would rather have a younger boyfriend that's a fitness trainer and lives at home with his parents rather than a husband so he is now around my daughter 24/7 and my daughter just so happens to love him but now is telling us she doesnt want to be at mommys house with her BF, Shes only 3! . Took me months to figure out how to control my anger and not put my hands on him. 

Realize that if I would’ve went that route, I would’ve risked getting arrested, charges and putting myself in a bad position. I was the only working on our marriage from a distance because like some, I let go and let God take control. I read countless books on marriage, I did the 40 day Love Dare Challenge, I paid some of her bills (stopped now), I gave her money when she lost her job and she still spit in my face time and time again. I wanted to be able to tell my kids that I did everything in my power to try and save the marriage but mommy wanted out. We both had our faults and both played a part in this failure of our marriage but I was willing to do whatever it took to save it and she wasn’t. I’ve dealt with this for almost four months now and have started dating here and there but at the end of the day, this is the best for me. 

Right around the time – I started my own company too which she doesn’t know about. I kept myself locked up in the gym and gained results, I have a couple trips to vegas and costa rica coming up to celebrate my 30th birthday in a month. I also have been attending church a lot and regaining my faith again because Iw as in a horrible spot with how she handled this and the “friend” is now the boyfriend who I was aware of months ago. 

At the end of the day…F..HER..lol but I wish no harm because she’s still my daughters mother.

I felt like this would never end when it started. I now just need her to sign these papers and then I will go file for custody and get my daughter 50/50 and serve her with those and handle the child support when it comes down the road. I played nice for too long but I’m done. I gave myself a time limit and it’s been reached. She actually said that everything that I’ve done in the last few months…didn’t matter at all but she was just taking it. LOL. The 180 was super helpful, along with IC for a couple months, faith and just focusing on me and my two kids. I was able to establish my own business in the process. I'm curious if she could come after me for anything years down the road? She hasn’t asked for spousal support or child support this whole time but isn't open to giving me 50/50. I'm meeting with my lawyer this week so that I can file first.

Anyways – how have others celebrated their divorce when it was final or how has life been for you afterwards? Mine is turning back around for sure. Just need to meet some new women lol

I tell you my first half of 2016 was insane. Divorced & started my own company before I turned 30.


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

I separated back in January and my final orders (court) is this Friday. If all goes to plan, I'll be divorced in a few days! No cheating on both sides, just a miserable marriage that we we both were trapped in due to the kids. 

I'm celebrating with a nice out of town gambling trip with my girlfriend. Probably do dinner/drinks on Friday night with friends.


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## jjb1027 (Feb 12, 2016)

Best of luck to you sir!


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

The day my divorce was final was one of the happiest days of my life. I spent 45 years trying to make my marriage work but it just didn't. 

I walked out of my hearing with a smile on my face and the determination to make my remaining life as good as I possibly could. And it is. Yours will be too.


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## philreag (Apr 2, 2015)

You guys are so far ahead of me. I think I do look forward to my STBXW truly being my XW.

Starting a new business now as well. Won't be able to see my son as much but I have to do this for myself.

Best of luck to you all.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

You move on, you look for character in the next person. You get a prenup.  Don't worry about workout guy he will be gone soon enough, guys like that never hang around, why would he he will eventually have better options. Your girl won't be successful either because she is shallow and won't do that work. Marriages take work and the belief that it is worth working for it. You are lucky you go out at 30, work on your business and make it a success then you will have lots of options, again though, the most important thing is character. Doing the right thing when it is hard. Find a girl who will do that. 



jjb1027 said:


> I was the only working on our marriage from a distance because like some, I let go and let God take control.


Finally learn not to be passive in your life. Look at the parable of the talents, the guy who buried the talents is specifically called out. That guy was afraid and passive. God truly helps those who help themselves.


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