# Angry and Lonely-But married to a wonderful human. Help!



## Bailey88 (Oct 13, 2020)

::Redacted::


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## FizzBomb (Dec 31, 2013)

How was the quality and frequency before you two were married? Was he inhibited then?
Is he masturbating to porn regularly and has nothing left for you?
Has he had his testosterone levels checked to see if they’re low/borderline? You haven’t been married long, I’m guessing you’re both in your 30’s.
What reasons/excuses does he give you when he turns you down? Edit: I see he’s given you sleep and back issues. They must be pretty sever to turn down sex so often.

Idk do you think he’s even got a sex drive?
It sucks to be the only one initiating all the time. I wouldn’t start a family with this man (if that’s what the plan is) until and only if this problem is sorted out in the next 3-6 months. Otherwise people like this don’t normally change and I’d be looking to separate and find someone equally matched and enthusiastic. A willing partner.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

The solution to your problem is to replace your husband, with a man or men that want to frequently have sex with you.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Bailey88 said:


> I find myself angry with my husband, who is nearly perfect in so many ways.


Your husband may be "perfect" in many ways, but that doesn't mean he's perfect for you. 

You say he is considerate, kind, helps around the house, and loves you completely. I'm not so sure about that... If he is so considerate, then why isn't he taking your feelings into consideration about the lack of intimacy? If he's so kind then why isn't he doing everything possible to fix the lack of intimacy and console you? If he loves you completely then why doesn't he want to make YOU as happy as possible, rather than just himself? 

You said this: "I've done everything but move the book cases and desk up, which I obviously need help with. He played too hard at the range this weekend and is now too achy to do anything, which means the project I needed complete before we leave on vacation next week is indefinitely stalled."

That doesn't sound like the wife of a considerate, kind, help around the house, love you completely kind of guy. 

If he helps around the house so much, then why did you do everything yourself? Sure, he's sore but does that mean he can't lift a finger? Or only when it benefits him? If he knows how important this is to you he would do everything possible to get it done. If that meant not going to the range, so be it. If it meant taking it easy at the range, so be it. If it means calling a friend to help, he'd call. 

I think you need to reevaluate how "perfect" of a husband he is.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

You sound like a damsel in distress and your knight in shining armor’s armor ain’t so shining. 

Do you want a solution to where your “projects” get completed on your terms and can possibly save you some frustration and resentment towards your H?

- ask a friend to come over and help you haul up the bookcase or hire someone. 

Stop being a damsel in distress that needs rescuing and take responsibility for yourself.

Your H will do one of two things. He’ll either sit in his comfy chair and be glad he doesn’t have to mess with it. He may even chip in the $ himself if he is actually that injured. 

Or he’ll be miffed that you are outsourcing the labor and spending money on something that he is perfectly capable of doing himself. If you start shelling out $, he may start stepping up to the plate. 

His choice. My point is start taking responsibility for yourself and start doing what you want/need to do regardless and stop relying solely on him. 

Eventually that mentality will start spilling over into the bedroom as well. He may realize that if he won’t step up to the plate to take care of you, you can find someone who will.

And if he doesn’t - you can find someone who will. 

Stop being the damsel locked in the tower that needs to be rescued. Find a way out of the tower yourself.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

That was quick. The answers must not have been to her liking.

OP, don't be in such a hurry, there are many of very experienced folks here that give great advice and you'll have to use what helps, let the rest go.


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