# Does your spouse know your on the marriage forum?



## gonefishin (Oct 7, 2011)

Very strange feeling the other day. I was reading posts on the marriage formum. My wife wanted to borrow my laptop. I erased the history becuase if she saw I was reading marriage forum posst, I would have been embaressed.

Later, I was thinking about what I did and thought, who cares. I am learning about me and my marriage. She should be more interested than critical.

What are your thoughts? Does your spouse know you read and post on this site?


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

He knows that I come here and post and read and reply.

He also knows that I don't talk badly about him or us...so he's cool with it.


----------



## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

My STBXW doesn't know about this site or my presence on here, but my GF has read a number of my posts, and she has complete access to my iPad, which often has this site open in my browser.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

Yup my wife knows, and often asks me if I saw anything interesting that I want to share with her. I also read to her some of my posts. Makes for some interesting conversations that are helpful to our marraige.


----------



## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

My wife knows that i post here. I think she lurks once in a while, but she's never said anything to me about joining.
Hey Baby!:smthumbup:
Sometimes I read posts to her or tell her about some of the stories.


----------



## I'mAllIn (Oct 20, 2011)

Hmm, I seem to be the odd (wo)man out. My husband doesn't know, and I prefer that he not find out. I'm not sure why though, because I haven't said anything here that I haven't said to him in person. I guess the main reason is that he doesn't have the need to talk to anyone about his feelings or the things that go on in our marriage, so I'm sometimes embarrassed that I need to. It makes me feel emotionally weak at times.


----------



## The_Swan (Nov 20, 2011)

Oh, my husband absolutely knows and we often discuss things I read here.
We both appreciate this site.


----------



## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

He knows I am on a site, but doesnt' know (or ask) which one...he'd probably get all embarassed if he knew about some of the things I've said here; but it's helping me, so hopefully he'd be OK with it.


----------



## KittyKat (May 11, 2008)

Mine knows and reads what I write and reads the responses from others. She's mad I post things about our relationship here but then turns around and says she's glad I have a place to vent.

And she doesn't agree with any poster who takes my side. lol


----------



## Badsmit (Dec 29, 2011)

Yes and she does not like it. She says I am addicted funny she is the reason I am on here. She wanted to know my user name and I gave it.. I don't hide from her. If I can then she can deal..... This is a good site and when you get screwed over you don't feel alone and it helps quite/sooth some of the self doubt. :smthumbup:


----------



## This is me (May 4, 2011)

I shared with my wife that I have received support and advice at a website for marriage. She got very upset and complained about it in MC. The counselor told her this is no different than a face to face support group. Thank you MC! 

She on the other hand had no problem sharing our details with people we both know. Talk about making maritial recovery difficult. 

I appreciate my fellow TAMmers for helping me through this most painful journey!


----------



## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

Sort a I read 4-5hrs a day 4 online 1-2 on a kindle, so you can add TAM, with multiple car forums, investment sites, current events, psychology, religion, politics, etc etc that I read about......lol.


----------



## ReasonableMan (Oct 18, 2011)

My wife knows I get general marital advice online and doesn't approve, so I haven't told her about this specific site. We've had problems in recent years that I may eventually post about on here, though I haven't yet. But I want to keep it to myself for now and not let her know I use this one. But I know it drives her crazy when I tap tap tap on my laptop but close everything up if she tries to look (when I'm on here). But heck I wouldn't be on this site if she'd been willing to talk about these problems, so I figure it balances out. 

One reason I know that I get good advice by reading here and posting occasionally is when she tries to pull a fast one during an argument, I actually can reply intelligently now. Then she gets angry and yells, "Stay off the internet!" Then I say she's only mad because I can come back at her now with my own side of things, and she admits that's true. Sites like this are an equalizer for the average dude, whoever he is.


----------



## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

yep she does


----------



## ARF (Jan 26, 2011)

My wife knows I visit a discussion forum on occasion as I mention about things i have read. I havent mention the I have posted questions about our relationship though.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Not this forum specifically, but I talk about my 'marriage board' sometimes. He knows I do post online about what we went through with his infidelity, on a couple of sites besides this one too. I've been on bulletin boards for over a decade, in one form or another - he's used to it


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

I'mAllIn said:


> Hmm, I seem to be the odd (wo)man out. My husband doesn't know, and I prefer that he not find out. I'm not sure why though, because I haven't said anything here that I haven't said to him in person. *I guess the main reason is that he doesn't have the need to talk to anyone about his feelings or the things that go on in our marriage, so I'm sometimes embarrassed that I need to. It makes me feel emotionally weak at times.*


I do understand this sentiment.

My H knows I read and post. Sometimes he'll ask "Did you forum today?" ...apparently forum has become a verb! He hasn't asked my username or to read my posts. He easily could if he wanted to. He's not a fan of online communication this way, but he IS interested when I share certain things I've learned. 

He has liked that I took an interest in improving our marriage and applying certain things learned. He's noticed a difference. This format is my way, it's not his. I have tried to overcome feeling embarrassed and accepting we're different in the way we handle/deal with things. I hear you though.


----------



## Accipiter777 (Jul 22, 2011)

Mine does know... I wish she'd come and read stuff


----------



## Confused_and_bitter (Aug 6, 2011)

My H has known about this site since before Dday and at first he thought that I was getting influenced by the forum but after Dday he didn't say a word. Now I read him some of my posts he knows my user name in case he wants to look and I also read him some of the other posts on here too.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SecondTimesTheCharm (Dec 30, 2011)

My DW knows and even joined and gave her two cents on a recent thread I posted about being unhappy about only having sex every other day. Thankfully, though, in the last week since then she has been more accomodating and even allowed me to go down on her on consecutive nights, where lately it had been only a couple times a week.
Unfortunately, however, when one knows a spouse may be reading, anybody with any sense will do a little self editing. But, the positive is that it does help communicate and shows how others see a situation, as well.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------

