# Change in Sex



## 2yearsago (Jun 28, 2013)

In others experience is a change in sexual behavior a strong indicator that an affair is physical as well as emotional? 

I denied that in mine for a long time because I was told there wasn't sex and I wanted to believe that but there sure is a LOT of circumstantial evidence including a change in sexual behavior. Much more outspoken, daring, etc.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

It is a red flag.


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

2yearsago said:


> In others experience is a change in sexual behavior a strong indicator that an affair is physical as well as emotional?
> 
> I denied that in mine for a long time because I was told there wasn't sex and I wanted to believe that but there sure is a LOT of circumstantial evidence including a change in sexual behavior. Much more outspoken, daring, etc.


Possibly, but it's my opinion than an EA can evoke the same type of emotional disconnect that leads to a change in sexual behavior - usually a lack of it - that a PA can. Perhaps even more so.


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## roostr (Oct 20, 2012)

definitely, when you get rejected enough you start to wonder, problem is, it takes a while for you to figure out that its a real problem. Go with your gut instinct, its golden.


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## Robsia (Mar 11, 2013)

All the time he was having his PAs, our sex life dwindled. Not to nothing, but definitely less. At the time I was oblivious and I used to jokingly ask him where else he was getting it, as a reduced sex life was a sign of an affair.

He was just tired, apparently.


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## 2yearsago (Jun 28, 2013)

roostr said:


> definitely, when you get rejected enough you start to wonder, problem is, it takes a while for you to figure out that its a real problem. Go with your gut instinct, its golden.


This gets me more worried now because the sex has dwindled to about once every 2 months....and almost always when we've been drinking. hmmmm....that doesn't sound good.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

2yearsago said:


> In others experience is a change in sexual behavior a strong indicator that an affair is physical as well as emotional?
> 
> I denied that in mine for a long time because I was told there wasn't sex and I wanted to believe that but there sure is a LOT of circumstantial evidence including a change in sexual behavior. Much more outspoken, daring, etc.


Yes and no.

It can be. But it can also be caused by the menopause, changes at work (less stress, less hours, etc) reading a new book, changes in medication, coming out of a funk, etc.


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## awake1 (Jan 29, 2013)

My FWW became far more sexually active. She went from passing interest to very...excited...in a quick flash of time. 

So I would guess the opposite is also a red flag.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

My wife was was horny as hell for a couple of weeks which later I learned was the "just" EA portion, then sex stopped suddenly to duty sex once in a while. She put it on females issues which she used for months to gaslight me. Again, later I checked out and she stopped sex the very moment the affair become physical.
No new tricks as OM was useless in the sack.


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## Calibre12 (Nov 27, 2012)

Absolutely! The red flag of the insidious kind. You can backtrack to when the EA became a PA by the: Change in underwear style (OW liked boxer briefs for "morning risers" - He was mentioning those two words often and I was puzzled...LOL!), comments that make no sense, almost taking wrong exits on well travelled roads, change in diet, change in music taste - the "FOGGIES". Match them up with the phone recs and bingo!


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## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

Yes, me too. He had no interest around the times he got together with her. And no affection. Became nasty. Oh the list could go on!


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## HarryDoyle (Jan 19, 2013)

No change whatsoever. She so completely compartmentalized the whole thing I never noticed a difference. The funny thing was she did just about everything with the OM but did nothing with me. That's what really threw me off, I figured if she was cheating there would be some change in the bedroom, more sex, or less sex, something! Go figure.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

When I started an affair, my interest in sex with my wife (which was already nonexistent) dropped to zero. My sexual needs were being met elsewhere. So I'd say yes.

But to believe that, you'd have to suspect that the partners of people posting in the Sex forum regarding low drive/no sex partners are actually having affairs.


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

Frequency stayed the same when my wife had her online Cyber affairs. Looking in the rearview mirror there were some sex related flags. 
- She asked me about her nipples, did I think they were large or normal.
- She started taking nude selfies and sending them to me.
- She expressed an interest in adding toys to the mix, where previously she shunned dildos/vibrators.

The nipple thing was to answer a question to one of her AP. The pics and toys were things the 2 OM had requested. She was uncomfortable sharing with them, but was interested in trying it out, so did it with me. 

I initially chalked it up to boredom with the same old routine for 22 years. Looking back at it just disgusts me.


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## Jadiel (Oct 10, 2012)

2yearsago said:


> In others experience is a change in sexual behavior a strong indicator that an affair is physical as well as emotional?
> 
> I denied that in mine for a long time because I was told there wasn't sex and I wanted to believe that but there sure is a LOT of circumstantial evidence including a change in sexual behavior. Much more outspoken, daring, etc.


I noticed a few things she was doing different, like noises she would make, scratching my back more, etc...she also had learned how to orgasm in different positions than before. 

I also recall on a few "girls night out" events where she'd come home super horny and would be a tiger in the sack...which in retrospect I'm guessing she just boned some guy who wasn't all that great but he really turned her on, so she came home to me to finish it off. 

Also, while not a sexual thing, I noticed she'd get a lot of conversations mixed up. "Hey remember last Tuesday we were talking about that funny thing? Wasn't that awesome!?" Ummm...we never had that conversation....


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## Robsia (Mar 11, 2013)

Jadiel said:


> Also, while not a sexual thing, I noticed she'd get a lot of conversations mixed up. "Hey remember last Tuesday we were talking about that funny thing? Wasn't that awesome!?" Ummm...we never had that conversation....


YES - I got that too.l My WH would reference some convo we supposedly had. I would joke, saying "No, that wasn't me. Must have been your other woman!"

Little did I know...


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