# Should I get married if I cannot get erect enough for intercourse?



## loneseeker123 (May 25, 2012)

Ok so my problem is that I do not get erect enough to have intercourse. I have not tried viagra yet but I will try it as soon as I get more money. What I am thinking about now is whether I should get married if I would have to depend on viagra for my entire life for every time that I have sex. I am in my 20s. I'm single but I am just trying to think about the future because I do want to get married. By the way, I know that having a good diet and physical exercise helps somewhat but that has still not made it get hard enough. Please help me figure out if I should get married or not with this problem. Be honest! Thanks...


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Have you always had this problem?

Are you with a woman right now and this is a new problem with her?

You need to get a complete physcial health work up. you might have low hormones. Find out what the issue is before you make a decision.


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## loneseeker123 (May 25, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Have you always had this problem?
> 
> Are you with a woman right now and this is a new problem with her?
> 
> You need to get a complete physcial health work up. you might have low hormones. Find out what the issue is before you make a decision.


I have had this problem since I was at least 15 years old, which was 10 years ago. No, I am not with anyone right now. For the hormone thing, I do think I have a lower hormone level because I am not masculine in any sense. I have always felt like between genders and even walk like a girl no matter how hard I try to change it. But I am unwilling to take drugs to alter my hormones.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

Have you seen a physician if so what did they tell you?


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## loneseeker123 (May 25, 2012)

Stonewall said:


> Have you seen a physician if so what did they tell you?


No, I haven't yet because I figure they would just tell me to do things that I'm already doing such as eat healthy and exercise, and then try to prescribe viagra, which I don't have any money right now to test out.


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

You should let any woman you get close to know about your condition. Let her make the decision to continue or not. Just be 100% honest.

As for your condition I agree with Stonewall and EleGirl that you need to see a doctor about this if you've not done so already. Keep pushing to see if they can come up with a reason why.


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

loneseeker123 said:


> No, I haven't yet because I figure they would just tell me to do things that I'm already doing such as eat healthy and exercise, and then try to prescribe viagra, which I don't have any money right now to test out.


Well getting exercise and being healthy will help you attract someone anyway... not to mention it will boost your self confidence. If it helps your condition then great, if not when you do go to a doctor you can rule that out immediately and they can be one step closer to finding a solution.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

See a medical doctor!


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

See a primary care physician, get some bloodwork done, and ask for a referral to a geneticist and an endocrinologist for more extensive testing. Treat it as getting to know yourself better.  Once you figure that out, you can be better prepared to share yourself with someone else, and have much more understanding of how your body might be unique, and how it might best work to your advantage. Put yourself in the driver's seat. It is about a lot more than good diet and exercise. I am surprised your parents did not help you with this. Or did you not discuss it with them and give them the opportunity to help?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

loneseeker123 said:


> I have had this problem since I was at least 15 years old, which was 10 years ago. No, I am not with anyone right now. For the hormone thing, I do think I have a lower hormone level because I am not masculine in any sense. I have always felt like between genders and even walk like a girl no matter how hard I try to change it. But I am unwilling to take drugs to alter my hormones.


Do you have a sex drive?

Some people have low levels in one hormone or another. It can help to take the hormones. At different times in our lives the hormone levels can change. But this seems like your baseline levels are low.

Don't know what to say except get a full physcial and blood workup.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

So back to your question: Should you get married?

Whatever you find out to be your situation, be completely honest with anyone you would like to marry. If they are a good match for you, the two of you will figure this out. Honestly and communication are very important.


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## loneseeker123 (May 25, 2012)

Yes, I do have a sex drive. But I would only want to have sex like once a week. Also, I prematurely ejaculate when I'm trying to get hard enough to get it in. There is like a whole host of problems!


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## chaos (Mar 9, 2012)

From *Erectile dysfunction* :



> Even though it may seem awkward to talk with your doctor about erectile dysfunction, go in for an evaluation. *Problems getting or keeping an erection can be a sign of a health condition that needs treatment, such as heart disease or poorly controlled diabetes.* Treating an underlying problem may be enough to reverse your erectile dysfunction


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

Is there anything that does get you hard enough? I'm wondering if you just don't prefer women?


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## Vanton68 (Feb 5, 2012)

loneseeker123 said:


> I have had this problem since I was at least 15 years old, which was 10 years ago. No, I am not with anyone right now. For the hormone thing, I do think I have a lower hormone level because I am not masculine in any sense. I have always felt like between genders and even walk like a girl no matter how hard I try to change it. *But I am unwilling to take drugs to alter my hormones.*


*
WHY?WHY?WHY?WHY?WHY?WHY?* If my **** wasn't working there is no drug or hormone that I wouldn't try.


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## loneseeker123 (May 25, 2012)

Blanca said:


> Is there anything that does get you hard enough? I'm wondering if you just don't prefer women?


I am more turned on by guys. But I still do not get hard enough for them. Honestly, I have always preferred to receive. To me that is much more satisfying. However, my spiritual beliefs do not permit me to continue homosexual sex. I know that I would have more lasting relational fulfillment with a female anyways.


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## loneseeker123 (May 25, 2012)

Vanton68 said:


> *
> WHY?WHY?WHY?WHY?WHY?WHY?* If my **** wasn't working there is no drug or hormone that I wouldn't try.


Because I do not want to turn manly. I like being kinda between genders.


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## Vanton68 (Feb 5, 2012)

loneseeker123 said:


> Because I do not want to turn manly. I like being kinda between genders.


So you are "between genders", can't get it up for either one, and refuse to take hormones because you like what you are now. Seems like a vicious circle


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## suesmith (Jan 5, 2012)

Please dont marry a woman. She deserves a man who she can excite and be excited by. Not one who is 'more turned on by guys.' 

If you dont feel like you can be you... you are better off alone. At least that way you wont hurt anyone else, which you will do eventually if you deny who you are and try to be someone else. 

Sorry.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Given what you've said, and assuming you're not trolling, I would say that you should stay away from a heterosexual marriage. It would be unfair to your partner. Not because you have trouble getting it up, but because of your "alternate" sexuality. There's nothing wrong with it, but finding a partner that meshes fully with you will be very challenging.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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