# MMSL/NMMNG Success/Failure Stories



## GotMeWonderingNow (May 31, 2012)

I'm interested in any feedback from men (and women if their male partner read these publications) whose marriage was in some kind of trouble (e.g., low sex, WW in EA or PA etc) and if they were able to turn things around by following the advice in these publications.

I'm interested in:
1. Severity of initial problems
2. Which publications (MMSL, NMMNG or both).
3. Any other good publications that may have also significantly helped (or not helped as the case may be).
4. Success/failure or still trying.
5. Time frames.
6. Any significant departure from the publications.

I'm asking this because I think I have had pretty good success from MMSL and more recently NMMNG. I personally was already doing some things from MMSL for a couple of months before reading it, and a lot of things from NMMNG before reading that, so I would say that it has been successful for me in a period of 4-5 months in total, although I noticed improvement in my marriage in a matter of weeks.

I have a couple of friends who I feel could really benefit from MMSL/NMMNG, however, the only real success story I know of is my own so I am interested finding out the experience of others. Also since the advice to read these (and other) publications seems to be common it may be useful to have some location where new posters who doubt the advice could be pointed to (assuming success rate is higher than failure).

If this thread duplicates any previous one then I apologize and any moderator who sees this; please feel free to pull it.

Cheers.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

Not having any trouble in my marriage but just didnt like myself being so beta. Been that way all my life and I know my wife had times that she wanted to see that alpha male more than she was. So I began reading and following the book and can not only see that she likes it but maybe even more important; I am starting to like me more.


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## GotMeWonderingNow (May 31, 2012)

Stonewall said:


> ... but maybe even more important; I am starting to like me more.


Same here. I decided to start this post since I'm in a really positive mind set at the moment and that rarely happened pre MMSL/NMMNG.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

There was another thread where folks categorized MMSL as learning how to be mean. What I really think makes it work, is that it's not about being mean, it's about returning to the marriage as an equal.

What I mean by that is so many men give up their independence of thought and action to their wives. They got there by giving in,by surrendering to keep the peace. The MAP program helps immensely in setting you on a course of equality with your wife. You no longer do things because you just want to keep her happy, you do what you believe is best, and you communicate with her with confidence, not acquiescence.


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> What I mean by that is so many men give up their independence of thought and action to their wives. They got there by giving in,by surrendering to keep the peace. The MAP program helps immensely in setting you on a course of equality with your wife. You no longer do things because you just want to keep her happy, you do what you believe is best, and you communicate with her with confidence, not acquiescence.


Hi Shaggy:

Good point. 

I also thinks this applies to women. 

I behave the way you describe. I always gave into my husband's decisions, even if unhappy about them, to keep the peace. 

If I did not want to go along with a relocation or new business venture, I did not like, he would get fussy. 

So, I just gave in. 

Why?

Because I believed all his charming bull dokey about us being a team and we shared the responsibilities and the profits, and I was the best wife a guy could have, and on and on and on.


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

GotMeWonderingNow said:


> I have a couple of friends who I feel could really benefit from MMSL/NMMNG, however, the only real success story I know of is my own so I am interested finding out the experience of others.


I think MMSL is pure gold, Jerry! However, I don't expect it to find wide-spread success because it's advice is counter to decades of media and cultural indoctrination about how men and women should interact.

We've seen that on this board. Any suggestion that men should assert themselves and assume a leadership role in their households is met by many with hysterical shrieks of possible abuse.


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## AlphaHalf (Aug 5, 2012)

What does MMSL, NMMNG stand for????


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

AlphaHalf said:


> What does MMSL, NMMNG stand for????


Married Man Sex Life and No More Mister Nice Guy.


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## GotMeWonderingNow (May 31, 2012)

AlphaHalf said:


> What does MMSL, NMMNG stand for????


MMSL = Married Man Sex Life (by Kay Athol)
NMMNG = No More Mr Nice Guy

Both are publications (books) aimed at overly beta (and in the case of MMSL, overly alpha too) men in the context of their relationships. The books offer somewhat counter-intuitive (until explained) insights into male behaviors and how those behaviors influence their daily lives and their relationships.


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## GotMeWonderingNow (May 31, 2012)

PHTlump said:


> Any suggestion that men should assert themselves and assume a leadership role in their households is met by many with hysterical shrieks of possible abuse.


My wife initially resisted; I think my sudden change in behavior freaked her out, but she is fine now. I haven't gone all out with the concept of leading the household on all matters, but I have gradually been taking a more active role in most things. My wife has mentioned that the best part of this is that she no longer feels like everything is on her now.


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