# A history of lies and deciet-- my story



## maleuser1969 (Jan 18, 2014)

Been married 12 years and have two children. My wife has and always an extremely family orientated individual. Back in the beginning we fell in love and enjoyed each others company she was and is beautiful, spirited, smart, and funny. 

however from the very beginning there were lies. I don't want to get long winded but she had a relationship with a workmate of mine prior to us and considering this was someone I was going to be working with for a long time I wanted to know how far they went. (I never asked about anyone else and respected that her past was hers) But I never got a straight answer (I had heard from someone else that they had had sex so I doubted her version of it from the beginning) and from time to time I would bring it up and her story would change and what not to eventually I got what I believed was the truth and really for me it was something that could have been handled in 2 min I just wanted to know I saw the guy every day. that's it and because of her inability to just tell me it dragged on for the frist two years of our relations ship.

Anyways we got along really well I really enjoyed her family and friends and it was very nice. I had a young boy from a previous relationship and she almost naturally took on a mother role to him.. she was 22 very young. there is an 8 year age diff. 

Well one of her character traits is she is huge flirt. Part is intentional the other part unintentional as she is very attractive and sexy. There was never many red flags but I would occasionally hear she was seen at lunch with a male friend or walking on one of her breaks with another male friend (as in hey I saw your wife earlier) we lived in small city everyone kind of knows every and we both worked in the city. 

We got married and had our first child. My wife avoids ANY kind of conflict to a point of fault.. I believe there had been many occasions where she lied on just about anything if it meant the smallest amount of chance it could be uncomfortable. As in she would NEVER say oh I went walking with Steve today or I went with bill to the mall at lunch.. And I guess I am an insecure person who doesn't want to be insecure so many of those incidents made me feel uncomfortable but I felt bad saying anything about it so even the times where I might question why it was met with a brick wall of I am not doing Anything wrong he is my friend I work I dropped it. These were not people who worked IN her office they were work acquaintances that for some reason she befriended. She had those close work friends and some where men and I never felt awkward about them

(_I believed and still do my wife likes flirting with other men, enjoys the attention, and doesn't necessarily understand where to draw the line but part of me thinks maybe she knows exactly what she is doing_?)

So after our first born I noticed one of our car payments had changed.. when I asked her about it she denied knowing anything about it but a little investigation I learned she had refinanced our vehicle with out my knowledge where she would have had to forge my name. This was a crushing blow to me and her response didn't help either. She lied and told me we had medical bills still around from the birth of our son and what not and she didn't want to upset me. But several days later I ran a credit check and discovered a credit card bill that I had no idea we even had. So a lie to cover up some deceit and there you have it. And as far as upsetting me I mean she was not afraid of me smashing a coffee table I am not like that she literally means she doesn't want to "upset" me.. period.. avoidance of any kind of conflict

I got over it and eventually we continued on. We had another child and the relationship went forward as usual. There were the occasional white lies from her about the price of something or what ever but I just continued to try and make it work and keep the marriage going. At no time did she ever complain to me, and in fact when ever there was an issue she would have a meltdown professing her love for me and what not and how it would never happen again so generally the ONLY issues were when I would have a problem with her and usually it was lying or something to do with another man. 

the car incident was our 3rd year of marriage so lets fast forward to our 7th year.. Cell phone tech had hit new heights and she was at the top of the curve.. texting mania, always on her phone. texts at night sitting around watching tv on the weekends ect. and many were from men she worked with... dirty jokes, inside jokes ect.. no red flags but certainly I didn't like it nd it got old. her attention was never for us and when it was it never felt real. Eventually she turned the volume down on her phone so I wouldn't hear them come in I guess she was tired of me asking who was that and what not. On the rare occasion I actually got to see her phone "if" it was left unattended text messages were always deleted. Around this time we were not getting along.. not fighting per se but the problems of not really having a connection between us was missing and my trust was shattered piece by piece. I noticed (online) on time when things were particularly bad she had like 180 texts in a two day span with a another man that I knew and I liked him. She told me after I confronted her with it that she had been confiding in him about some of our problems me not being happy with her and stuff. long story short is I told her not to text him any more I just felt like why couldn't she confide in one of her close girlfriends instead its some guy she loosly works with. (several months later I found that she was and still deleting them) 

We went to counseling on my advice and as her usual self she sugar coated everything said I have nothing to worry about and she loves me and whishes I just gave her more independence and left her alone. 

The problems didn't stop. we had a hard time staying close and outside of our perfect family and extended family we were struggling. never fighting but not really talking about issues or anything. mostly if I had a complaint it was shot down by her. 

fast forward a few more years and now we have face book and she was the face book queen. friended every male she met and liked whether or not they had anything to do with her job or what not there they were. she would post pictures of herself and always there were the men saying how beautiful she was. And I would ask whos that she would be like oh that's john he works over in that department.. ok

One night she was working late and I signed onto her fb acct. I could plainly see her chatting with a single young man and she was inviting him out to the bars where she and her few workmates were going when they got out. nothing that bad but she had NO business even friending this guy as far as I am concerned ( iam leaving out some details about her job and the kind of people we both worked with) any ways I felt it was over the top for her to be flirting this way and it was flirtatious. I confronted her I was very upset and she cried and cried and professed her love for me and said she was sitting their with her two girlfriends giggling trying to get him to come out because he was single and cute and one of her friends was recently divorced.. My deal was this guy just thought YOU were trying to get him to come out. 

fast forward one year later she had taken a NEW job in a different city. Same issues for me and whole host of new men on FB.. the text messaging had calmed down quite a bit with face book too. We were looking at houses in the new city and on my birthday I came down and we went and made an offer on a house and went out for my birthday. I remember these days vividly and the next day I talked to her on the phone when she was leaving from work for lunch I had asked to check on the house as there was supposed to be some work being done.. I remembered her being agitated (hey we are buying a home.. supposed to be a big deal) well that next sat morning she had been sneaking around the house on her phone you know putting it away when I walk into the room ect.. I went on my laptop and signed into her fb acct and there she was chatting with some guy I had no idea who he was and she was talking about errands she had to run and he apologized for keeping her busy for two lunches and she was said that's ok it was fun.. no red flags accept he made one comment that "you looked beautiful" and she said thanks.. 

Well I confronted her and she confessed that she lied to me about what she was doing the day I called her about checking on the house because she didn't want to upset me he was just a friend and they went to a park and stood outside of their vehicles.. nothing happened.. she did say she got a strange vibe from him the 2nd day and she said she was riddled with guilt.. I will giver that I remember her being out of sorts that night so there was a part of me that believed her.. but if you wanted a red flag when I confronted her and I was very upset she absolutely denounced any idea that she was having an affair she said watch... and wrote the guy that "my husband has just read these and thinks we are having an affair, I told him we are not"... like that was supposed to make things better.

So that was about 18mos ago and the last 18mos have been hell for me. anxiety depression I just feel like there has been nothing but lies from her and cover ups and inappropriate relations ect.. well last month She was sitting on the couch on her phone.. as I went to get up she put her phone away and when I walked over to her she immediately started a diversion saying her head was killing like she was having a stroke or something.. I reached for her phone and she grabbed and a minor struggle ensued and I stopped because we have never been physically violent and this was certainly headed in that direction. I was so angry and upset I accused her of cheating and what not she cried and yelled at me she was sick of me checking in on her ect.. I left for the night and we talked on the phone she again professed her love and she has never done anything and would never do anything. 

9 days ago she goes to bed before me and As I am walking upstairs I here a quick shuffle and the phone hitting the nightstand. She pretending to be half asleep when I walk by and take the phone. She immediately has a diversion mental breakdown attack... she is throwing up, crying, sweating, I had to help her into the bathroom (phone was in my pocket) she told me she thought she was having a heart attack ect.. well it 45 min to calm her down and she so didn't want me to leave her side but I told I had to go the bathroom.. we I found the gamil account "hisnamegirl) and hernameman at gmail. and there they were the explicit texts her saying I just had a dream about you and wish you were here in my bed.. 

When I came back in the room she was still having her mental breakdown and she confessed she had cheated on me... the 15 hr sordid lies, fake stories, fake names, ect would take up more space then I have already written. Suffice to say she blamed it on someone who she works with with a different name then that on the email acct.. I was so broken up I didn't even question it at first but when I called the guy the guy was like it wasn't me.. but he admitted to having sexting affair with her that led to one awkward kiss before his wife found out almost two years earlier.. this took place a month before the going to lunch with another guy and lying to me about it.. boy did this backfire on her I think she as gonna ask him to take the blame where his wife had already known and whatever idk..

So now there is this guy and she wont tell me who he is. She said that she wants to see a counselor to find out why she lies and what her problems are and she will tell me everything.. says she wants us to stay married but we both need to make changes.. 

well I just don't know what to do. I feel like the sum of all my fears has been validated and realized.. half of me wants to say YES! and the other half feels like I am dying inside. We had issues and I wasn't perfect but I always wanted US to have a better marriage built on trust.. 

Anythoughts


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## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

Wow. A lot of stuff here. 

Multiple EAs, possible PAs.

All of lying about finances and secretive behavior. Like you said, she is conflict avoid ant and not trustworthy.

Did she delete her text history? You should demand to see it.

You should also demand she tell you the identity of the most recent OM. If she is protecting him, what does that tell you? She places more value on him than you. 

What do you want at this point?


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

She is a compulsive liar, and I'm sure a serial cheater too.

What Stay Strong said... what do you want at this point?

In order for any kind of reconciliation, she will have to get intensive counseling to find out why she lies about everything. Compulsive lying is a difficult issue to treat. It is so wrapped up in their psyche, and its roots stretch FAAAAAAAAR back into early childhood. 

Why does she feel the need to constantly lie? Deep, deep issues...


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## tainted (Aug 16, 2013)

If she is protecting the OM then she is still in the fog. 

I believe she is a serial cheater and she won't change unless you show her you are ready to leave her.


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## movin on (Jan 24, 2012)

Your wife sounds like a pathalogical liar. How could you stay with someone who is a dishonest as she is. Truth is she probably cheated through out the whole marriage.and her not telling you who other man is is total bullshot. I would demand it then expose and file divorce.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

You have to blame yourself. Having allowed her to lie about so much through the years, she has never had to stop. And from your description you knew was unable to do so. For her lying and deceit are second nature.

She will never stop lying and cheating because it is pathological, an uncontrollable sickness.


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## jack.c (Sep 7, 2013)

do you really want to have an answer that you already know?


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

She may love you but she likes the thrill of cheating.

Staying married to her will require that you change the balance of power. An entirely healthy relationship of equals will be precarious.

If you divorce, how will you work custody? Do you earn much more than her?

Because you wife have been jacking you around for so long, you need to change yourself. You might even joke about her cheating ways. Laugh at her as if you don't completely care because her value as wife has sunk so low.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Dude it aint gonna get better.

Btw the probability she fvcked kiss man is85%.


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## Syco (Sep 25, 2013)

Divorce and move on. Not kidding.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Dude she is a very slick one. She will not allow anything to hit her directly. It's hard to get someone out of it.


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## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

DNA test the kids.


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

I am afraid that you are in big time denial. This is your present and future. I would suggest:
1. Get tested for STD's
2. DNA test on the kids
3. Set up an appointment with an attorney to 
understand your options.

She clearly has no respect for you or your marriage. If you do not respect yourself then who will? Good luck.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

She is desperately trying to avoid conflict that she is actually creating with her flirting and cheating. It's no wonder that she doesn't want to talk about any of it. Sure, of course, it will generate conflict. If I rob a bank and the police come to arrest me, I can certainly try to make it all go away by not talking about it, but that doesn't change the actions & unlike you, the police won't give me a break because I don't like the conflict.

You are excusing her lies by saying it's conflict avoidance. This is a twisted way of giving her passes for what she is doing. And it has been working all these years, hasn't it? You say over and over that things happened, but there were no red flags. Well...there were many, many red flags that you excused.

Your WW is an inveterate flirt and probably a serial cheater. She is not marriage material, in my opinion. I'm sorry, but you will never have any peace or emotional security with her. You would have to lock her up to be sure that she isn't throwing out any lures.

Again, I'm sure we're all sorry to have the reaction we do. It's very hard to face this. Even if she were to stop lying now, you would never trust her. There's simply too much mendacity here.


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## thummper (Dec 19, 2013)

Sorry, Maleuser, but it sounds like walkin' time.  If you can continue to put up with her lies and possible infidelities, you're certainly a lot more patient than I could ever be. She sounds seriously screwed up, and she's going to drive you crazy if you don't somehow put a stop to this destructive behavior. I really feel for you. I can't even begin to imagine what you must be going through right now. Good luck to you.


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## FormerSelf (Apr 21, 2013)

Your wife has a problem...and she presently has an inability to say no for some reason. Pathalogical lies...probably a sex addict or love addict at the least. She needs help bro...and you sweeping it under the rug is not going to help.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

alte Dame said:


> Your WW is an inveterate flirt and probably a serial cheater. She is not marriage material, in my opinion. I'm sorry, but you will never have any peace or emotional security with her. You would have to lock her up to be sure that she isn't throwing out any lures.


This


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

Friend. Your whole story is one great big red flag from start to finish. She has lied though out the whole marriage and covered it up with one sob story after another.

This is going to hurt and sorry 'bout that but want to blame someone? Look in the mirror. See that guy looking back at you? That's who you blame.

You've been looking the other way from day one and believing everything she said to you as gospel truth. 

This behavior of hers should have been halted by you a long time ago and you should have dropped the hammer on her the minute you saw all the texts and the going out to lunch things. All it did was build up to where you created the affair monster and by that time the damage was done.

It's time that you start to grow a pair of steel balls and hand her the coat and hat and tell her to take her lies, cheating and inexcusable behavior someplace else. Then after you get her out of your life. Don't fall for the I'm sorry, runny nose and tears because their not real. She's only sorry she got caught and nothing more. 

Your about to learn a real hard lesson and I hope you learn from it. Remember it well and never let it happen again. Get yourself a new life with peace and without her because she's not a keeper.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

maleuser1969 said:


> Been married 12 years and have two children. My wife has and always an extremely family orientated individual. Back in the beginning we fell in love and enjoyed each others company she was and is beautiful, spirited, smart, and funny.
> 
> however from the very beginning there were lies. I don't want to get long winded but she had a relationship with a workmate of mine prior to us and considering this was someone I was going to be working with for a long time I wanted to know how far they went. (I never asked about anyone else and respected that her past was hers) But I never got a straight answer (I had heard from someone else that they had had sex so I doubted her version of it from the beginning) and from time to time I would bring it up and her story would change and what not to eventually I got what I believed was the truth and really for me it was something that could have been handled in 2 min I just wanted to know I saw the guy every day. that's it and because of her inability to just tell me it dragged on for the frist two years of our relations ship.
> 
> ...


Yep.

You both need to make changes,

She needs to stop lying and shagging other men.

You need to make a change and file for divorce.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

6301 said:


> Friend. Your whole story is one great big red flag from start to finish. She has lied though out the whole marriage and covered it up with one sob story after another.
> 
> This is going to hurt and sorry 'bout that but want to blame someone? Look in the mirror. See that guy looking back at you? That's who you blame.
> 
> ...


:iagree:


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

weightlifter said:


> Dude it aint gonna get better.
> 
> Btw the probability she fvcked kiss man is85%.


:iagree:

With her history I would guess that one at least of her affairs is going to be a full on PA.


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

Here is what you need to do.

Plan a date with her. She likes lunches doesn't she? Just not with you.

Take her for a nice lunch date to your local lie detector agency.

Ask the 5 most important questions that you need answers for.


You will not like what you find out.

Then do yourself a favor.

Take her home and throw her butt out of the house.

Tell her she is not allowed home until she

A. Learns to keep her legs closed.
B. Learns to tell the truth.
C. Learns to stop being a flirt.
D. Gives you all her passwords to everything.

The file for Divorce. Because your wife has years of work ahead of her and you cannot do it for her.

HM


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## too (May 27, 2013)

Reading your post I just can't see any way you and your wife can ever have a healthy relationship. Her lying seems almost pathological. Almost like she's so used to lying that she'll lie about even small, and pointless, things because she is so unused to telling the truth.

She's been building your whole relationship upon lie after lie. Is there truly any way you could ever believe her when she tells you anything about any inappropriateness on her part?


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## Blacksmith01 (Aug 12, 2013)

treyvion said:


> Dude she is a very slick one. She will not allow anything to hit her directly. It's hard to get someone out of it.


Sounds like my Stbx to a tee.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

Sound like my ex too:

1) pathological liar even about stupid stuff

2) avoids conflict and says nothing when confronted

3) too many guys friends and in constant contact

4) attention wh0re seeking constant validation 

Turns out she was a serial cheater. I'd bet my mortgage yours is too. Nothing you can do my friend she's broken. Damaged goods and you can't fix her. So either live your life playing magnum PI or dump her and set yourself free. 

Your choice....


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## TiredFamilyGuy (Jan 18, 2014)

She will make out you are paranoid. But that's just a liar lying. Time to man up and bail out of this sham.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

serial cheater..

No hope here


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## illwill (Feb 21, 2013)

tainted said:


> If she is protecting the OM then she is still in the fog.
> 
> I believe she is a serial cheater and she won't change unless you show her you are ready to leave her.


She cannot be in a fog if she is a serial cheater. And she is.


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## illwill (Feb 21, 2013)

She is doing what is natural for her. You needed to be a stronger hubby to break her from her habits.
Good luck.


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## maleuser1969 (Jan 18, 2014)

6301 said:


> Friend. Your whole story is one great big red flag from start to finish. She has lied though out the whole marriage and covered it up with one sob story after another.
> 
> This is going to hurt and sorry 'bout that but want to blame someone? Look in the mirror. See that guy looking back at you? That's who you blame.
> 
> ...


Thanks I kmow. I just was reading bill parcells favorite poem man in the mirror the other day. Dropping the hammer or what not there was some tough moments I am not a push over. My mistakes were not following my gut sooner. But she is out and has been out for two weeks.. she cries but she feels like I drove her to it in part because Since the lunc date incidnet I havent given her the time of day. Hey she can slice it anyways she wants shes trying to save face. Curious how you women out there feel about going to lunch with a male coworker.. is it ok to do? I mean one in one..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

maleuser1969 said:


> Anythoughts


Yeah. A couple. There have been many men. DNA your kids.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

WyshIknew said:


> :iagree:
> 
> With her history I would guess that *one* at least of her affairs is going to be a full on PA.


Just one? as in ONE hundred?


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## Cubby (Mar 28, 2012)

That's a really long opening post. There's a lot of bad behavior that you know about. Now just imagine what you DON'T know about. She has so secrets, so many boyfriends, it's highly unlikely that it's only been lunches and sexting for all these years. It's escalated to physical action a long time ago. I mean, what would stop her? Some sense of honesty and honor that she holds dear to you and her marriage?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

tainted said:


> If she is protecting the OM then she is still in the fog.
> 
> I believe she is a serial cheater and she won't change unless you show her you are ready to leave her.


If someone has an example of a serial cheater recovering I would like t see it.

Your wife has severe mental problems.

Both of you need to be checked for stds.

Your only hope for happiness is to move on and let her go. She has shown you who she is ever since you met her, you simply cant accept it.

Feel sorry for her is all you can do for her. She needs individual counseling and she needs to give permission for you to see what the counselor says. Unfortunately, you are walking in the same shoes many here have/are walked in.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

maleuser1969 said:


> Thanks I kmow. I just was reading bill parcells favorite poem man in the mirror the other day. Dropping the hammer or what not there was some tough moments I am not a push over. My mistakes were not following my gut sooner. But she is out and has been out for two weeks.. she cries but she feels like I drove her to it in part because Since the lunc date incidnet I havent given her the time of day. Hey she can slice it anyways she wants shes trying to save face. Curious how you women out there feel about going to lunch with a male coworker.. is it ok to do? I mean one in one..
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Seriously, its a date. Married women don't date other men. GNO's? for single women only.........................period. Controlling? biggest cheater tell of them all.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

So she left on her own? And you drove her away is her story? Does she even want to come home?


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

Going to lunch with a male colleague?

I have done this since I was in my 20's. But I have BOUNDARIES.

I don't text incessantly and secretly, use fb to flirt, lie nonstop to my husband, tease men until I'm kissing them and more, and then lie some more.

Your WW is at best extremely immature. At worst she is pathological.

If infidelity is a dealbreaker for you, your deal has been broken many times over, in my opinion. Do not let her tell you that you drove her to it. Do not. She is broken and you have, however unwittingly, enabled her.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Lunch dates with male colleagues? not a problem. Except for people like your wife!

There is nothing wrong with a visit to the bank. But if -for example- John Dillinger visited a bank, well, that's different, isn't it?

It all depends on the mindset of those involved.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> Lunch dates with male colleagues? not a problem. Except for people like your wife!
> 
> There is nothing wrong with a visit to the bank. But if -for example- John Dillinger visited a bank, well, that's different, isn't it?
> 
> It all depends on the mindset of those involved.


And to continue the analogy there is nothing wrong with a glass of wine with your meal, but for a recovering alcoholic it could be the start of the slippery slope.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

Go to this website, specifically this section:
Compulsive Lying


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## VFW (Oct 24, 2012)

I am sorry that you are in this position. As you already know, this old gal has been lying to you for a long time. She has been doing it for so long, she don't know no difference. While that is unfortunate, you have to get on top of the situation.

Firstly you need to consult with an attorney, you don't have to file, but you need to know your legal rights. Secondly you need to secure your finances. You still have to provide for the family, but you just don't need funds disappearing from the till. Thirdly continue with the 180 position, there can be no hope for reconciliation until the she comes clean and avails herself to transparency.


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

maleuser1969 said:


> *Curious how you women out there feel about going to lunch with a male coworker.. is it ok to do? I mean one in one..*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You just posted a story of 12 years worth of affairs - I think it was Mach who said 100 other men - YES, it was THAT MANY. I'm talking about sex. And you are wondering about going to lunch with a male coworker? She won't even tell you who she's having an affair with, but you wonder if it's OK to have lunch with a male coworker?

I'm really sorry you're here. But please believe everyone here who already has been cheated on and come here and read stories like yours many times over. Your wife has had sex with many other men many other times.

No more negotiating with your wife. Tell her you need a story that (1) MAKES SENSE and (2) THAT YOU CAN VERIFY. In other words, the truth. That means naming names and giving you evidence, getting copies of her texts, facebook chats, etc. If she's not willing to do that, tell her you'll see her in court. Stop arguing with her or responding to any deflections. She's been cheating on you probably from before you were married to her.


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## illwill (Feb 21, 2013)

Get a std test.


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

OP,

I am a firm believer that mature adults with boundaries can go to lunch one on with with a member of the opposite sex but your should not be going anyplace alone with any males other than you, her brothers and her dad.


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## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

She is a compulsive cheater, but what made OP do what he did all these years? 

Enabling and condoning while making some surficial objections.

Fear?


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## illwill (Feb 21, 2013)

She is gone? Change the locks.


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## illwill (Feb 21, 2013)

See_Listen_Love said:


> She is a compulsive cheater, but what made OP do what he did all these years?
> 
> Enabling and condoning while making some surficial objections.
> 
> Fear?


The usual suspect.


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## Rugs (Apr 12, 2013)

OP, 

In all you wrote, you did not mention one redeeming quality about your wife. She sounds a total mess.

She has you totally wrapped around her finger and knows it. I suspect she plays everyone.

She doesn't like conflict at all so she of course sleeps with all these me because saying no to them would cause a conflict.

She has some major problems but knows exactly what she is doing.

Sorry, my friend, she sees you as a chump.

There's going to be a lot of fake episodes and mental breakdowns to come if you decide to divorce her. Be prepared and good luck. It's going to take a lot to steer your way out of this one. You REALLY need the 180.


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

File for divorce now. DNA the kids.

Get tested for stds and expose the affair far and wide. (to her family, your family and her work)

See if you can find out who the OM is and tell his SO.

Good luck to you.

File now. She does not respect you and never has.


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## daggeredheart (Feb 21, 2012)

Sounds like you are writing about my former sister n law to a T. 

She cheated on my brother multiple times over their 17 year marriage. The who family was beside ourselves every time he forgave her....mortified but we knew one day....he would reach his breaking point. 

Finally she went to taco bell and came home to divorce papers. It was done. We were thrilled. Beyond thrilled but sad for their kids. 

She proceeded to marry another sucker within the year and that lasted all of a year and half due to her cheating....yep yep yep. 

Now she is with another guy and so far she hasn't cheated because he wont commit. She likes the courtship and cheating but not a marriage so as long as he doesn't commit..she is in bliss. 

Like your wife she coasted on her looks and body but now at 40 she hit the wall hard and doesn't have a personality to bring to the table. 

Brother- he's doing fine now ...dating like crazy enjoying his man cave and friends and wondering why he didn't leave her the first time her caught her. Figure she cheated about 10 times over the course of their relationship. 

Your wife just isn't wife material and u deserve so much more than what she can deliver.


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