# New here and kinda confused about some stuff



## Thedude22 (Feb 6, 2016)

Okay so I have been married a year and a half but been with the wife for 10 years. We got together in high school and have been since. We have pretty much sexually only been with each other except me I had a one night stand befor I met her. I think this could be causing a problem but I'm not really sure. We have pretty much grew up together. I feel and she has also said our bond is a lot stronger to one another because of this and we couldn't see ourselves married to anyone else. With that being said here recently I have noticed she seems to be hinting at expanding our sexual horizon. Like joining others. Our sex is usually really good and I'm all about getting her off and not really worrying about myself it's just how I am. I can't fault her for wondering about having sex with others because I do the same ( like I said I only had one other partner befor her and it wasn't a very good experience) I'm kinda stumped in this situation and have been doing a lot of reading on swinging and threesomes and such. But I just really don't know how I would feel about it. it seems kind of scary and really exciting at the same time. Just feeling kinda odd in this situation and dunno really what to do so I'm putting a feeler out there to see if anyone else has been in this situation.


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## froggy7777 (Jan 8, 2016)

I remember reading just recently and it was on here that those couples that get involved in a threesome; that the marriage usually winds up in shambles and a high (it was in the (90's) percent wind up divorced. Just saying I would think very carefully about this.


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## NotEasy (Apr 19, 2015)

Talk talk talk (to her)

There are other ways to expand your sexual experience than joining others. Perhaps she just said that because that is all she could think of. Maybe she would be happy with just you two trying other things. There are books, videos, websites etc full of suggestions. 

Maybe she is uncomfortable describing what she wants, or unsure. Maybe she wants you to take the lead, or she wants to. So maybe try date nights, take turns where each of you gets to plan and lead the evening.

Maybe what she is saying is the sex is not so good, or not as good as hoped. Maybe she has been faking pleasure and now is too far down the track to say. Sorry. The answer is to talk, honestly, and be prepared to accept any barbs. Tell her you want the truth, in detail, and promise you will not be angry. And don't be.

Especially given your limited experience and that you "noticed she seems to be hinting", joining others is dangerous.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

My wife has never been with anyone else and occasionally brings up the topic since I had other parters in college. She is very attracted to the Thor character from the Marvel comics movie. 



Thedude22 said:


> I'm kinda stumped in this situation and have been doing a lot of reading on swinging and threesomes and such. But I just really don't know how I would feel about it.


Much like you I was stumped and have been reading a bunch of comic books and never realized how sexual comic books were these days!!!










I've agreed to blindfold my wife and let her have at it with the "invisible man" while I watch, but that is as far as I think I could ever go!

Badsanta


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Thedude22 said:


> Okay so I have been married a year and a half but been with the wife for 10 years. We got together in high school and have been since. We have pretty much sexually only been with each other except me I had a one night stand befor I met her. I think this could be causing a problem but I'm not really sure. We have pretty much grew up together. I feel and she has also said our bond is a lot stronger to one another because of this and we couldn't see ourselves married to anyone else. With that being said here *recently I have noticed she seems to be hinting at expanding our sexual horizon. Like joining others.* Our sex is usually really good and I'm all about getting her off and not really worrying about myself it's just how I am. I can't fault her for wondering about having sex with others because I do the same ( like I said I only had one other partner befor her and it wasn't a very good experience) I'm kinda stumped in this situation and have been doing a lot of reading on swinging and threesomes and such. But I just really don't know how I would feel about it. it seems kind of scary and really exciting at the same time. Just feeling kinda odd in this situation and dunno really what to do so I'm putting a feeler out there to see if anyone else has been in this situation.


Have you considered that she may have already started w/o you?


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

You are playing with dynamite. Yes, "alternative lifestyles" can be fun, but if you think your marriage is complicated now (and you should), just wait until you add other people.


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## happy2gether (Dec 6, 2015)

this is not an uncommon fantasy, only you and your wife can decide if you are able to carry it beyond talk. Just remember a single no from anyone makes it stop if you do try to test the waters. 

My advice would be find a swing club and go just to watch. see how it is done and those of us that do open our beds to others truly do not care to let emotions get involved.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> Have you considered that she may have already started w/o you?


A real.possibility and has happened more than twice in a situation like this.

That possibility aside, you need to have full conversations and communications about everything.

So talk to her about this as well as everything else.

If she wants to catch up to you in experience, well she should have done it before choosing you.

It is more than likely, 80-90% chance, a very bad idea for your relationship.

Neither of you were part of the lifestyle before meeting. Biggest single indicator of successful open relationships.

The likelihood is you will damage your marriage.

Results vary from divorce to a crippled marriage that needs a lot of work to repair and a shadow, much like infidelity, for the rest of your lives.

If both of you were fairly promiscuous, experienced, and in the lifestyle before you met, your chances would be better than good to succeed.

Better stay monogamous.

You really want other men sticking it to her?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

This is why not, and do not kid yourself if you think not us

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/306482-whats-worst-thing-about-infidelity.html

Most spouses would see her suggestion as a major red flag. Does she want a divorce? Both of you read his needs-her needs abd 5 love languages before anything else. 

As for you

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/209754-standard-evidence-post.html

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/128754-examples-cheaters-script-thread-resource.html

You need to show how much you value your marriage and say no and insist on marriage counseling.


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## Okguy (Aug 25, 2015)

In a word. Don't. You are asking for more serious problems.


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## Thedude22 (Feb 6, 2016)

I feel it's just a sticky situation all together. But I also feel that it is human nature to be curious about things like that. We have talked a lot about this and such. Like we have great sex (like she has full body shaking orgasms and such i mean we wear it out lol) I think it's mainly just curiosity of what others are like. We found a club that we have been thinking about visiting and just observing and talked about messing with each other there. We used to be very adventurous in our younger days with like sex in the same room with others and stuff and it was exciting. I think what has got the ball rolling again is she has recently came of of a med and her sex drive has went back up again, mine has always been really high lol I'm not complaining bout her heightened sex drive we do it a lot. Like truly I think we could do that kind of stuff again but I believe if we had people actually involved jealously might kick in but I dunno? I know none of this probably makes any sense lol


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Thedude22 said:


> I feel it's just a sticky situation all together. But I also feel that it is human nature to be curious about things like that. We have talked a lot about this and such. Like we have great sex (like she has full body shaking orgasms and such i mean we wear it out lol) I think it's mainly just curiosity of what others are like. We found a club that we have been thinking about visiting and just observing and talked about messing with each other there. We used to be very adventurous in our younger days with like sex in the same room with others and stuff and it was exciting. I think what has got the ball rolling again is she has recently came of of a med and her sex drive has went back up again, mine has always been really high lol I'm not complaining bout her heightened sex drive we do it a lot. Like truly I think we could do that kind of stuff again but I believe if we had people actually involved jealously might kick in but I dunno? I know none of this probably makes any sense lol


This sounds like your first post again?

Has anything others have posted sunk in?


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

badsanta said:


> My wife has never been with anyone else and occasionally brings up the topic since I had other parters in college. She is very attracted to the Thor character from the Marvel comics movie.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Superman his flying up high, and sees Wonderwoman laying naked on the beach. Superman decides he will use super fast speed and hit it and be gone before she knows what's going on. So Superman swoops in and hits it and leaves. Wonder Woman yells what was that? And the invisible man says I don't know, but my azz is killing me.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Thound said:


> Superman his flying up high, and sees Wonderwoman laying naked on the beach. Superman decides he will use super fast speed and hit it and be gone before she knows what's going on. So Superman swoops in and hits it and leaves. Wonder Woman yells what was that? And the invisible man says I don't know, but my azz is killing me.


So... Me, my wife, and the invisible man have a threesome. I go first and then blindfold my wife so that she will not freak out about feeling a second man while not being able to see him. Afterwards, I ask my wife ow was it! She says to me, "are you sure that was not just a bean bag chair with a hitachi vibrator duct taped to it that you threw on top of me?" 

:grin2:

Badsanta


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