# Purging?



## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

Anyone else find themselves purging their house, life of 'stuff' ? I have been purging my house for 3 wks now and am feeling so much better. 

My IC asked if it was in preparation in case he makes us move or if it was to reclaim my home/space/life?

I answered her pretty quickly and said probably both. To sell the house woul mean we lose money and the kids lose their home, probably some pets, swings etc... basically turning their life upside down all at once. 

But I think I am feeling better because I am reclaiming my home, space, and life. I have been really feeling good most days for 3 wks now and I can't help but to think it's because of this massive purging. If I haven't used it recently or won't be using it in the coming months I am ridding myself of it. Maybe some of the Eastern philosphies have it right about materialism etc.


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## madaboutlove (Aug 28, 2011)

I am doing the same thing. Finally got the STBXH to change his address and come pick up all of his stuff (which he hasn't done) and along the way I have been organizing and throwing things away. I am also getting things organized for work and my dissertation research. I picked out new paint color, stripped old wallpaper and picked out tiles. I am ready for new carpet. I talked to my IC today and told her the same thing, I am taking back control of my space. No one to confer with about decisions, thought that would be scary but I am doing ok. My son said the changes are making him sad, and I know that he is dealing with this in his own way, but I need it to go.


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

Sad note... 
I love micro/local breweries during travels but had stopped drinking much beer in the last 2 yrs. I was cleaning and found more than 3 cases of beer! Beer that shoul have been consumed by 2010... I had the kids take it to the woods and empty it. Man the woods smelled got lucky. They didn't smell skunky but I know that they wouldn't have been their true selves so I said good bye and good riddance to some good brews. LOL It still felt good!! Looks like we had a heck of a party though! We did the same w/ many things from the bar. My recycling can (33 gallons) full of glass!


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## justabovewater (Jun 26, 2011)

I need to do the same thing. H has left alot if clothes in the closet that he'll probably never wear. The only reason I don't clean it all out is because, like the whole starting of the divorce process, I feel like he should be the one to do it. Why should I clean up another of his messes? As for working on the house, been doing...well, he's been doing that. Cleaned up the yards, says he's gonna help me paint...and pay for it, and other tasks as well. Don't know if this is all in an effort to get the house ready to sell. I thought the agreement was to keep it until youngest is out if HS. I guess we'll see.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Feels good to do that sometimes. New chapter and all that.

Rearrange the furniture too. get crazy


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## madaboutlove (Aug 28, 2011)

Just-it took me along time to tell him he had to take his stuff and he is really dragging his feet about it.."I don't have room, need to move some other stuff, working a lot, etc," but it is soooo unfair to us to have to be responsible for it. They made the choice to leave, so do it. I told him I wouldn't do this final thing, move his belongings, change address and just generally get out of my home. And I do let him do some things at this house because they would be very expensive to do without him, but only when I say he can come does he come, so I can decide if I will be here or not. I have not seen him since the D proceedings in February and don't want to. Not even close to ready to see him again.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

I'm giving the trollop everything that was either bought by her or both of us. I want nothing that reminds me of her, and what she does not take I will haul to Goodwill or throw in the dumpster. 

She still has not taken her wedding dress and wedding books I packed up for her. I'll be interested to see what she does with those. Every bit of furniture that she bought, except for my bedroom set, is going into storage for her. 

I'm not keeping a single photo; and just last night I went through all my flash drives, videos, and once more back through the computer and made sure there were none left. All the old 3x4 glossy photos and albums I gave to her. She can do what she wants with them. 

Once the trollop moves all her stuff out I'm going to start remodeling my house. When I get done there will be nothing in here to show she ever existed. I'm like the pharoah striking his predecessor's name off the obelisks.


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## MeetVirginia (Feb 17, 2012)

Good for you....I wish my husband would purge stuff!!!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

When I left my ex, I only wanted the dining table.  Everything else I bought for myself.

Hey! It is a $3,500 craftsman table and was a gift! Wasn't going to leave that behind.

I remember my apartment....a table and chair. 

lollll and a blow up bed....for 2 months.


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## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

Been "purging" for a year now. First round a "no alternative but to" kind of situation as Lieceratops left me and DD behind in a rental house and no way to pay the rent or even eat for that matter. Forced to empty 3 bedroom, 2 bath house with garage and back room that we had transformed into our bar/party/hangout room. Sold most of the stuff, gave some to DS and DIL to use. Even put my dream dining set on Craigslist to sell (got an offer of $50 for a $3k set that was handcarved, kept that set).

Still having reservations when it comes to pics (both on computer, in albums and frames). Even the cards we gave each other (and I kept) have been put in the trash only to be retrieved prior to emptying the can. Framed pics are only of the kids and adding g'daughter to the mix albeit slowly. These are the pics that I enjoying gazing at and seeing everyday.

Did give him his fishing stuff, pics of his parents/grandparents, and he took a few (very few) pics from our years together. I even gave him a frame and recent pics of the kids for his b-day after we separated.

I expect that so many years of memories and such will never be completely purged. But at least I can glance at pics he's in without feeling totally consumed by rage.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

What you call "purging" I call "cleaning"-- spring cleaning--which I did this weekend.

I just throw things away. I figure if I haven't used things in awhile and won't be using them--there is no need to hold onto it.


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## melissa68 (Feb 10, 2012)

thats exactly my plan when we move next month. I plan on taking very little...going to have a big garage sale/moving sale soon and get rid of all the big furniture etc. We don't have anything worth anything anyway so it will be easy to replace. It'll be nice to start over with new things.


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## yellowsubmarine (Feb 3, 2012)

I got rid of all his music that was stored on the computer. I sent him all his pictures (prints). I still need to go through all the pictures (computers), but I just haven't gotten around to that yet.

I cannot get rid of everything that was ours. What's his I sent his way, what was ours... some of it is mine. I worked very hard for some items. But the sentimental stuff, by all means, is gone.


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

melissa68 said:


> thats exactly my plan when we move next month. I plan on taking very little...going to have a big garage sale/moving sale soon and get rid of all the big furniture etc. We don't have anything worth anything anyway so it will be easy to replace. It'll be nice to start over with new things.


Exactly. I am not necessarily cleaning but getting rid of stuff in case I move and reclaiming "MY" space. He may make us get rid of the house. I don't know if I qualify to go get a loan on it myself but it would be nice at least for a few years because the kids have enough to deal with, without adding to new school, house, etc. 

I'll get to the window washing etc later, but for now I am simplifying my life w/o SPUD. 

I would love to have a dumpster delivered, it would have been full but my kids aren't ready to sit on the floor, I want to get rid of almost all my furniture. LOL


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