# Women, do you think about it?



## scione (Jul 11, 2011)

Question to married women, please be honest.

Do you sometimes think that you want to sleep with another man? 

No particular man, just another person. But you don't do it because it's wrong, immoral, destroy family, risk of diseases and other bad stuff.

I know most if not all men want to sleep with other woman, just because we are genetically wired to do so, but most of us have self control.

But really, do you sometime think of sleeping with another man?


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

I never did for 24 years, but I think it's normal to have fantasies about other men, mostly men that aren't real.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

Scione in my 11 years with my soon to be ex wife I can honestly say I never wanted to be with another woman. Even now that she is divorcing me the thought of being with another woman is not appealing as of yet
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JuliaP (Mar 21, 2011)

yes, often and all day, but my marriage is in trouble. When it was good, however, I would only think of other men during my, uh, private time, and not all day long.


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## scione (Jul 11, 2011)

I don't mean, thinking all day, every day, or often. I'm just thinking once in a while. Do you? kind of thing.

I just want to know if it's normal that's all.


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## scione (Jul 11, 2011)

proudwidaddy said:


> Scione in my 11 years with my soon to be ex wife I can honestly say I never wanted to be with another woman. Even now that she is divorcing me the thought of being with another woman is not appealing as of yet
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Proudwidday, come on, be real. If you are saying, you never once have that thought. I will bow down to you.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

scione said:


> Proudwidday, come on, be real. If you are saying, you never once have that thought. I will bow down to you.


i was only with my exgf for 2 years, but rarely saw her and never ever thought about being with anyone else during that time.

8 months later, and im just thinking about it.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Occasionally -- only occasionally with my current partner, far more often when I was with my ex-h, but that was not a happy marriage.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

Well I have a free pass from my husband to sleep with Hugh Jackman if his car broke down outside our home and he just had to spend the night at my place. And hubby has a free pass if Kate Beckinsale ever expressed interest in him. :rofl:

On a more serious note...the thought has crossed my mind. It's not a thought that crosses my mind every day or even every month. I have a lot of thoughts on various topics that I don't act on. For example, I occasionally think I want to tell my supervisor's supervisor to do something that starts with the letter "F" but I don't. I know I have a good job and I'd be an idiot to mess it up. Same thing with my marriage. I have a great husband and I'd be a world class idiot to mess that up. So yeah, I may have a thought about some man but it comes in the head and then it goes out. My attention span isn't that long anyway.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

With my ex.... ya, I thought about it. He wasn't "that into" me... I guess I fantasized about a man who IS. 

Which is what I have now.... so in the past 7 years, I cannot even imagine wanting any other man. THIS one is awesome....in bed and out. No need to wonder about anyone else.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Now that I've seen this thread... just ran the thought through my head and found it rather unappealing. So tossed it in the rejection bin.... which in my mind is like this..... 300 - This is madness. This is Sparta. - YouTube (sorry.. love this movie lol)


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

My wife does sometimes during sex. She tells me if she does. It's no one specific and it's usually like a threesome thing with myself involved. Sometimes she fantasizes about having sex with several men one after the other. Again, it's just a fantasy and nothing to get riled up about. 

Lately though we're just trying to think about eachother.


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

Coffee Amore said:


> Well I have a free pass from my husband to sleep with Hugh Jackman if his car broke down outside our home and he just had to spend the night at my place. And hubby has a free pass if Kate Beckinsale ever expressed interest in him. :rofl:
> 
> On a more serious note...the thought has crossed my mind. It's not a thought that crosses my mind every day or even every month. I have a lot of thoughts on various topics that I don't act on. For example, I occasionally think I want to tell my supervisor's supervisor to do something that starts with the letter "F" but I don't. I know I have a good job and I'd be an idiot to mess it up. Same thing with my marriage. I have a great husband and I'd be a world class idiot to mess that up. So yeah, I may have a thought about some man but it comes in the head and then it goes out. My attention span isn't that long anyway.


I had to chuckle Coffee. My wife has a pass for Pierce Brosnan if they meet in a stairwell or on stairs (via Thomas Crown Affair). I would venture to say my wife has fantasies via her Nora Roberts novels. I do not think I would get laid every Saturday morning if it was not for Ms. Roberts. I may owe her some kind of Royalty come to think of it.

The women's answers here do not surprise me. I think women have to be swept up by a guy to really get those kind of feelings. Seeing a guy walk down the street may illicit a "he's hot" thought but rarely a "I want to rope that and ride it" thought. Ladies?


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## Mrs.K (Apr 12, 2012)

The thought of being with someone other than my husband icks me out. I of course notice attractive men while I am out and about but I never think about being with them.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Coffee Amore said:


> Well I have a free pass from my husband to sleep with Hugh Jackman if his car broke down outside our home and he just had to spend the night at my place. And hubby has a free pass if Kate Beckinsale ever expressed interest in him. :rofl:





> *RClawson said *: The women's answers here do not surprise me. I think women have to be swept up by a guy to really get those kind of feelings. Seeing a guy walk down the street may illicit a "he's hot" thought but rarely a "I want to rope that and ride it" thought. Ladies?


This explains how I feel also... a little joking .....if Ryan Gosling wanted to sleep with an old lady like me ...or some PlayBoy Bunny showed up at our door for my husband saying.... "come on baby...what R you waiting for ??"









When I came into my sexual Peak, my sex drive was so damn high, I felt like I stepped into the body of a raging teen male .....my husband became my addiction......suddenly I started to crave PORN...& I was undressing every man I seen in public if he was half good looking. 

Yes, this sounds completely outragous but I bet all of you men understand....back when you were teens! I know I was experiencing some kind of Test surge. I even said to my husband during that time..... I could take on 3 men .... He was not offended or upset... I was just expressing the magnitude of what I was "feeling"... my mind was hi-jacked. Suddenly I was looking at SEX on a whole nother plane...and boy was it ever exciting -electric ....if a facial expression could do justice, it is here >>>









My fantasies also went haywire. This includes thoughts of being with other men. I can't say I ever felt that way before, so I am going to blame it on my hormones busting out of control. 

We have a beautiful fullfilling marraige... I would never hurt my husband like that. The overwhelming majority of my fantasies are me & him going back in time...reliving yesterday in all types of scenerios we were too busy not trying back then. :banghead::banghead::banghead: 

So yes, I have crossed the fence in my head.. Does it mean I love my husband any less....not at all. Am I the unfaithful type.... never. 

I've asked my husband this question.. he swears he has never wanted another woman- ever....even when things were DRY for him...(once a week sex)....somehow I believe him -it is in the way he has always treated me..... he doesn't find it betrayal if our minds go there in moments of fantasy ......he knows how much I adore him... he feels it every day. So it's all gooooood. 



> But you don't do it because it's wrong, immoral, destroy family, risk of diseases and other bad stuff.


 My reasons would be .... We've only been with each other in this life... honestly, there is a mystery for me what that might be like.... but the other side of this coin is much much more powerful... 

There is a sacredness that goes very very deep for both of us ...being untouched by another ....I know if I EVER crossed that line ......WE would never be the same...something would be irrevocably lost forever, because of how HIGH we hold the act of "intimacy" & sex... it has never been "just sex" to us....but an emotional, even a "spiritual" bonding.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

Coffee Amore said:


> Well I have a free pass from my husband to sleep with Hugh Jackman if his car broke down outside our home and he just had to spend the night at my place. And hubby has a free pass if Kate Beckinsale ever expressed interest in him. :rofl:
> 
> On a more serious note...the thought has crossed my mind. It's not a thought that crosses my mind every day or even every month. I have a lot of thoughts on various topics that I don't act on. For example, I occasionally think I want to tell my supervisor's supervisor to do something that starts with the letter "F" but I don't. I know I have a good job and I'd be an idiot to mess it up. Same thing with my marriage. I have a great husband and I'd be a world class idiot to mess that up. So yeah, I may have a thought about some man but it comes in the head and then it goes out. My attention span isn't that long anyway.


You too?? I gave my wife that same pass! If Hugh Jackman ever shows up, then she can go have fun. I have the same pass with Monica Bellucci. I'm a sucker for Italian women. Grrrrrrr. 

But your're right, there are lots of things that run through our heads that we would never act on. In real life, even if given the chance and go-ahead by my wife, I wouldn't REALLY have sex with Monica Bellucci. But it's fun to think about. I wouldn't really shoot at the car that just cut me off in traffic, but it's fun to think about. Kind of like a warped form of therapy.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> My reasons would be .... We've only been with each other in this life... honestly, there is a mystery for me what that might be like.... but the other side of this coin is much much more powerful...
> 
> There is a sacredness that goes very very deep for both of us ...being untouched by another ....I know if I EVER crossed that line ......WE would never be the same...something would be irrevocably lost forever, because of how HIGH we hold the act of "intimacy" & sex... it has never been "just sex" to us....but an emotional, even a "spiritual" bonding.


I envy that you have only been with each other. What I wouldn't give to go back in time and change many things. You already know this but NO ONE will ever feel as good as your husband. Things may get routine from time to time but when you're both "in the zone" feeling really horny and hungry for one another, well, no one could ever be better than your man or your woman.

Besides, as a wise man once said, "Plumbing is plumbing."


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

sandc said:


> But your're right, there are lots of things that run through our heads that we would never act on. In real life, even if given the chance and go-ahead by my wife, I wouldn't REALLY have sex with Monica Bellucci. But it's fun to think about. I wouldn't really shoot at the car that just cut me off in traffic, but it's fun to think about. Kind of like a warped form of therapy.


Most would just never share such thoughts with their partners......as too many would be immediately offended & feel like they are not enough.... or less than. I feel it is rather healthy ...and a sign of deep understanding of our own sexuality & that of our partners...to be able to openly share fantasies. 

But yet...still deeply treasure & honor monogomy at every turn...just cause we love our spouse!



> I envy that you have only been with each other. What I wouldn't give to go back in time and change many things. You already know this but NO ONE will ever feel as good as your husband. Things may get routine from time to time but when you're both "in the zone" feeling really horny and hungry for one another, well, no one could ever be better than your man or your woman.


 We can only speak out of our own personal experiences here..and ya know.... the routine part... it is funny... according to most...Me & my husband's sex life could have been described as the most boring drab thing imaginable the way we was for 19 straight yrs of our marraige...... only 2 positions, in the dark, under a sheet, we didn't even moan, I didn't have any desire to do oral on him & I was terribly embarrassed for him to go there on me.... but yet it was passionate & all consuming ....every time. 

Honestly.... we were HAPPY, never got bored...he wanted more of the same (oh yes -much more)..... but never routine....and I never complained once...totally fullfilled. (And believe me, If I ain't happy.... I can bi*ch! )

I know why... It was the "*emotional connection*" -it was in full force. Of course I never entertainted such thoughts back then....it was a fullfilling that you just don't articulate......until I came here and started reading how couples get BORED IN the bedroom, and heck...reading their stories.... they have tried every living thing under the sun ...from toys up the butt, to tying each other up, to Role Play & lap dances to arouse...

It dawned on me one day as clear as the sun coming up ......what they must be lacking is something we always had... the emotional connection. 

For a time ...we did some of that other stuff too--at my leading... though never got into toys (yet)..but honestly, we are back to the same old ...same old -- but adding some hot oral sex to the mix , more overt flirting & one other position... and it is never never never routine..for us....... we still crave it every day... 

It is more the Emotional connection that drives us both. (that high drive time of mine has passed & the fantasies took a dive with it too -hormones are very powerful !)

I find this song so inspiriting to how it should be with the one you love, never growing old >>> Ronan Keating & Rita Guerra - All Over Again - YouTube



> Besides, as a wise man once said, "Plumbing is plumbing"


 It intregues me personally to read from others who experienced many partners, how they feel, if it makes a difference, the physical ... for some, it seems too, they go on about needing so many inches, etc. But the overwhelming majority, so I have found... it is more about the emotional - so long as the rest of that plumbing is working properly ! So in this way, it reassures me , just from others experiences... that Yes... I never missed anything.


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## happymrs (May 1, 2012)

My husband and I have also only been with each other and I believe that plays a big part in how I think about sex. He is the only one I think about being with. Even when I read romance books and the hero is described, when it comes to the sex scenes the hero always takes on the features of my husband as I imagine it. 

Even when things were their bleakest in our marriage, I couldn't actually picture being with someone else. 

In some of our talks we've discussed frankly and he's told me he never imagined being with anyone else either. It was a relief to me as I assumed it was normal for all men to fantasize about other women.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Most would just never share such thoughts with their partners......as too many would be immediately offended & feel like they are not enough.... or less than. I feel it is rather healthy ...and a sign of deep understanding of our own sexuality & that of our partners...to be able to openly share fantasies.
> 
> But yet...still deeply treasure & honor monogomy at every turn...just cause we love our spouse!
> 
> ...



My dear, you are a treasure. I'm going to go hug my wife!


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

I'm not married but I am in a committed relationship, and the answer is yes. I personally believe that men and women aren't that different in this regard. Just as we're a lot more subtle when it comes to noticing an attractive man (and therefore considered less 'visual'), we're a lot more subtle about our fantasies. However, a fantasy is just that!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

sandc said:


> My dear, you are a treasure. I'm going to go hug my wife!


Sometimes I feel a little exposed typing out my deep feelings on things like this....but hey...if it inspires some to go grab , kiss & hug your wife... Love it !  

Give her one like this >>


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## cory275 (Aug 11, 2011)

i havent thought about other men sexually... sometimes i wish my husband would do this or that, but i never wished he was someone else entirely. 

sometimes i think about ex's, but only in memory and how it relates to what i do with my hubs. like "oh, blah blah liked this.. maybe hubs will too".


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## mompres (May 1, 2012)

I think about it for sure. My marriage is so on the rocks. After 21 years I have accepted it won't get better. I would never act on it but the "idea" of being with a strong man who loves me and desires me has great appeal. The thought of never having that passion or love again, never be held again, never snuggling again is overwhelming. So yes I fantasize about it. It's all I can do at the moment. And I also owe a debt to the many romance authors out there!


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

Rclawson hit it on the head.....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

I'll admit, I have done this. Doesn't mean anything though 

I will add that when I've done this in the past, that it wasn't ME and some guy, I also had fantasies where I was someone else. Like I was Bonnie and he was Clyde type thing. I haven't done it recently though, I love thinking about my man and that's enough to turn me on


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

wifeofhusband said:


> Never thought about any real men sexually but have fantasized about what sex could be like with a less timid man than my husband. I always think about that in the abstract and it's never an actual desire.


Could you put a description or definition to "less timid" please?

I've worked much of my life to eliminate the naturally introverted, shy, nervous... timid (?) parts of me and there are few things I find more insulting. But I've recently learned that what I think of timid isn't necessarily what women think.

So what do you consider timid? And by "less timid", are you saying you want someone still somewhat timid?


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Sometimes I feel a little exposed typing out my deep feelings on things like this....but hey...if it inspires some to go grab , kiss & hug your wife... Love it !
> 
> Give her one like this >>


All I need is a sailor outfit.  Actually we've implemented "the 10 second kiss." Every day at no particular time I will walk up to her and kiss her passionately for 10 seconds. No sexual touching other than to just hold her. She is tense for the first oh, say, 5 seconds. But it's amazing to feel the tension leave her and her body just go limp and relax into it the last 5 seconds. :smthumbup:

Oh and thank you for sharing your deep feelings on this. I think your thoughts and feelings on the subject are SimplyWonderful.


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

I don't know how to describe my fantasies because they do not include specific other men. They are about sex in general, about feeling open to being aroused, pleasured, and giving pleasure. Sex for me is connected with deep, passionate love, and I use my fantasy of ultimate intimacy to express my love for my husband.

I sometimes imagine aroused body parts, but I do not fantasize about celebrities or hot guys that I have seen.


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## seriously_yours (Apr 16, 2012)

sandc said:


> My wife does sometimes during sex. She tells me if she does. It's no one specific and it's usually like a threesome thing with myself involved. Sometimes she fantasizes about having sex with several men one after the other. Again, it's just a fantasy and nothing to get riled up about.
> 
> Lately though we're just trying to think about eachother.


My HFG has a similar fantasy..... 
I would hate to think she ever thinks about multiple consecutive men WHILE I am inside her though.
Fantasy is one thing, replacement therapy is another


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

I do think about it when he doesn't seem interested in me sexually for a while. I'm kind of like the teenage male at this point. It's no one in particular, just the thought that I could call a former fling but then I feel gross and like what is wrong with me and I would never do it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## eowyn (Mar 22, 2012)

scione said:


> Do you sometimes think that you want to sleep with another man?


Never felt like doing such a thing.. Not because it is wrong or something, but since I feel a mandatory step to having sex for me is emotional connection and moreover intense love. I like to think that "sex" is a physical manifestation of "love" between husband and wife.. So, H is the only guy on this planet who qualifies for that 

Not to say that I do find few men attractive, in movies and otherwise as well, and I do get upset with my husband once in a while at which point i don't want to sleep with him.... However, even in those circumstances don't feel like sleeping with another man. 

Besides, what can be done... looks like Hugh Jackman is already taken by CoffeeAmore  oh well...


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

eowyn said:


> Never felt like doing such a thing.. Not because it is wrong or something, but since I feel a mandatory step to having sex for me is emotional connection and moreover intense love. I like to think that "sex" is a physical manifestation of "love" between husband and wife.. So, H is the only guy on this planet who qualifies for that
> 
> Not to say that I do find few men attractive, in movies and otherwise as well, and I do get upset with my husband once in a while at which point i don't want to sleep with him.... However, even in those circumstances don't feel like sleeping with another man.
> 
> Besides, what can be done... looks like Hugh Jackman is already taken by CoffeeAmore  oh well...


My wife says the line for Hugh starts behind her.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Trenton said:


> No idea why...perhaps I need more of this testosterone SA has?


 There is no doubt in my mind..... that hormones being heighened can DO strange things to our minds .....giving us more VIVID & erotic fantasies -it has been studied even and at least for me...how very true it was! Doesn't make anyone a cheater, but HIGH TEST....wow, it's an eye opener! We can either judge ourselves for it, questioning our love ....or embrace it, laugh at it a little and keep chasing down our spouse! That is pretty much what I did. 

With mine calming, but still in good measure ... my fantasies has lessoned along with it. It was all something I was going through. Just trying to be real about it. 

My husband tells me he loves his "dirty old woman".


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

No, actually the thought disgusts me. I have no idea why. I only fantasize about my husband.

Subconsciously I do. Ugh, I'll have a dream that I kissed or so with someone I don't know. I do dream about my husband a lot too, but having other strange men in my dreams makes me feel guilty when I wake up.lol


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## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

I'm not sure how it is for "all" or "most" women, but I feel my W's thoughts are very much in line with my own....

As a man, I can apperciate and get very turned on by the visual of an attractive woman. Specifically a nice "b" cup perky boob. Puts me over the top and there is no better "visual" for me. But that's a visual thing and not a fantasy.

My fantasies will almost always involve my W. Threesomes, or things we don't do together, and never would (though we've come close to the WMW threesome thing). But she's there. My fantasies do not feel as good if she's "not there" in my mind when I'm having them.

She has fantasies I know of. Anal. We will likely never do that. I'm a bit on the large side, and she worries about other aspects of it as well. But she has that fantasy.

Two guys on her. She has that one as well. And (at least reportedly, lol) when she does, I'm involved. She has no desire to actually live that one either.

Woman on woman. She has that one as well. Though she admits oftentimes that fantasy involves me "watching". Not always, but most of the time.

They're fantasy. I have zero heartburn over her fantasies, just as I hope she has none of mine. It's human nature. The "unthinkable" or "too naughty" can be an extreme turn on. Doesn't mean it could realistically, or even remotely happen. I hope I'm mostly somehow involved in most of her fantasies, but ya know what? If I'm not in all of them, so be it, she may occassionally not wind up in all of mine either. Does not mean a thing or have a thing to do with "us". I feel we both understand that and are both as individuals and as a couple all the better for that understanding.

I believe where our line is at, is while we both may have fantasies about imaginary people or people we have just seen and do not actually know, I'm fairly certain neither of us crosses over the line of fantasy about people of the opposite sex we do know. That seems to be touching on dangerous territory, and I personally don't like to go there. Fantasy is about the "act" or some "hot guy" or "hot gal" one of us has seen. It is never about "you know...your friend so and so...." or "there's this guy / girl in the office". Best to avoid that altogether.


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## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

> I feel it is rather healthy ...and a sign of deep understanding of our own sexuality & that of our partners...to be able to openly share fantasies.
> 
> But yet...still deeply treasure & honor monogomy at every turn...just cause we love our spouse!


This :iagree:


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

scione said:


> Question to married women, please be honest.
> 
> Do you sometimes think that you want to sleep with another man?
> 
> ...


I think that any married person who tells you they have never felt an attraction to someone other than their spouse is likely fibbing. That's only human

Throughout my 20 year marriage, I occasionally met someone whom I found attractive. 

Cheating, however, was not an option. I took my vows seriously. 

I would also avoid people who flirted with me too strongly.


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## Cherie (May 9, 2012)

I do. I don't tell him about it though b/c that would be insensitive. I'm sure he does too and I don't fault him for that. 
Sometimes I will see an attractive guy and think, "I wonder what he is like in bed" but that's about as far as it goes.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

wifeofhusband said:


> By 'less timid' all I mean is a guy who is willing to initiate some new things, a man who I can really feel desires me, a man whose repertoire goes beyond a few kisses and caresses followed by missionary position every time, forever.


Ah, gotcha... and confirmed, not the sort of timid I associate with the word. I was doing those things even before I started trying to become less introverted and avoidant.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

Not at first.. Then marriage issues started and were never resolved. We had sex maybe once every 2 months, not enough for me. So yes at the end I did think about sleeping with other men. I never did sleep with anyone else though


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