# Overcomming PE



## natural (Jan 14, 2013)

On several occasions I've made attempts at finding a real answer to this problem... it's never turned up anything but despair, I just thought I'd ask here... maybe there's a success story somewhere.

-If anyone (man or the wife of one who overcame PE) has a success story that could help I would love to read it.

-If anyone feels the desire to tell a negative story please just keep it to yourself... there's no reason to make this worse than it is, and it certainly isn't a laughing matter... guys like to poke fun at this but it's not something I had any choice in. I assure you all my skills are more than sufficient on the rare occasion I get to put them to use for more than a minute,


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I would recommend this book.. 

Sexual Healing: The Complete Guide to Overcoming Common Sexual Problems: Books



> This expanded edition of Sexual Healing examines every known sexual problem and all possible treatments, including many that are new and experimental. The book includes more than 125 exercises for specific problems — including premature ejaculation, female sexual arousal disorder, low sexual desire, and sexual aversion — as well as a new section on advanced sexual healing for physical, emotional, and spiritual problems.
> 
> Written by a sex therapist and surrogate partner with over 20 years experience, the book reflects the wisdom that comes from her unique perspective as a pioneer in the field of sexuality.


----------



## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

try pegym.com


----------



## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

When I did have this for a while, I started by desensitizing through masturbation. It helped alot and if done early enough, you can recover enough that you can ejaculate again during sex. If I couldn't, I just explained what was going on and why I had done it. 

During sex, I would move slowly, sometimes very slowly. Now, understand, my first wife and I talked about it. She understood and I told her there would have to be quite a bit of practice if we wanted to overcome this. ;-)

I always got her off first. That way I practiced and explored with my skills at pleasing her. If at any time she got dry during my slow movements, I would go down on her again or what ever she wanted. After all, she was helping me.

I would bring myself very slowly to near climax and stop moving and hold it back. Sometimes, I would need to pull out. I would keep doing this, bringing myself nearer and nearer and stopping. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't. Eventually it helped me. 

It sort of desensetized me and helped me to learn how to pleasure her at the same time. This was when I was in my twenties. I had raging hormones and could do it nearly at the drop of a hat.

I never really read anything and I tell you this because I don't want you to think I am educated in it. It's just that when I read your opening post I felt like trying to help. I hope what I have written here will help you. It is what I did and it did work for me.

Edit: I was thinking about this and I forgot something essential. I had to concentrate at times on something other than what I was doing. I never could completely think about something else because, well, I was having sex. lol I would, to be honest, think about when I was playing a sport that I liked and concentrate as much as I could on that. It helped a lot, even though I couldn't think about it for long. I couldn't think of something that was a total turn off because that was just counter-productive. I had to pick from different thoughts and find what would keep me sexually aroused, but be enough to keep me from climaxing. If I did these things properly, it was a win-win.


----------



## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Something I have read which seems to be logical is that men are built to ejaculate asap. This is an evolutionary thing to increase the chance of impregnating a female. Only recently has sex become a completely recreational activity where pregnancy is not any concern. Not to mention modern hygiene makes getting naked a lot more pleasant.

So don't think of yourself as broken or defective. Chances are your body is working as designed.

I believe most men in their teens and 20's really can't last very long at all. In my 50's now I can last pretty much as long as I want. Partly it is psychological but I think a lot of it is skin becoming less sensitive. Everywhere too, not just the twig and berries.

Getting your wife or gf in on the cure seems to me to be a big bonus. After our marriage issues and probable wife's affair I had the other problem, ED. Her attitude was totally positive about it being something we can deal with and work on. If your woman is not supportive of you, find a new woman.

Your orgasm is not the finale to lovemaking. Not for you and not for her. So don't make it the focus. If you finish quickly consider it an item on the to-do list which has been completed, but there are a bunch of other things on the list still to do!

Her orgasm and her pleasure are her responsibility. So it is not a failure on your part if she does not have fun. So in a way it is a big score for you if you get your O with a minimum of exertion. Make sure she knows she has to take charge of being satisfied. She has to tell you what she wants or she has to take action to get what she wants. Don't let your PE be made the scapegoat for her not being satisfied.


----------



## BackOnTrack (Oct 25, 2011)

natural said:


> On several occasions I've made attempts at finding a real answer to this problem... it's never turned up anything but despair, I just thought I'd ask here... maybe there's a success story somewhere.
> 
> -If anyone (man or the wife of one who overcame PE) has a success story that could help I would love to read it.
> 
> -If anyone feels the desire to tell a negative story please just keep it to yourself... there's no reason to make this worse than it is, and it certainly isn't a laughing matter... guys like to poke fun at this but it's not something I had any choice in. I assure you all my skills are more than sufficient on the rare occasion I get to put them to use for more than a minute,


I had this problem right out of the gate starting with my first sexual encounter and it lasted through the first 15yrs of marriage. I did a lot of reading and tried many things without much success. The stop/start method is useless without a patient and willing partner, and causes more problems then it solves. Trying to distract myself by thinking of other things was of no use whatsoever.

Ultimately, I realized I had to solve this on my own. The best book I found was "How to Overcome Premature Ejaculation". It gives you exercises that you can do on your own, so you don't have to deal with any outside pressures. The key is knowing your body well enough to recognize the need stop before reaching the point of no return. You'll need to become a pro at knowing this sensation. This is what you will focus on learning first. The other most important thing is breathing. Just as you would do slow deep breathing to calm yourself in a stressful situation, the same applies to sex.

After much practice, I could then control myself using a combination of breathing and speed. When I get close, I stop for 30 seconds. I've found that after 2 or 3 stops(or close calls), I can then control myself extremely well though minor changes in the speed of thrusting along with breathing. Once you have a some success with that, the increased confidence goes a long way to helping too. There are still times I get a little carried away in the moment and forget to do my breathing and....boom.


----------



## natural (Jan 14, 2013)

Thor said:


> Something I have read which seems to be logical is that men are built to ejaculate asap. This is an evolutionary thing to increase the chance of impregnating a female. Only recently has sex become a completely recreational activity where pregnancy is not any concern. Not to mention modern hygiene makes getting naked a lot more pleasant.
> 
> So don't think of yourself as broken or defective. Chances are your body is working as designed.
> 
> ...


I know she needs to take some more responsibility for her own pleasure as far as being more active in bed and clearing her own mind but honestly I don't want her to have to... if i can right my end of things hers will fall into place. That aside your post gives me some real hope.. at 28 and only being sexually active since 21... I fall right into that age group- things seem easier to cope with now if i've got reason to feel hope towards the future. I also apprechiate being told that all systems are functioning as intended for me, it may not solve the issue but it's nice to not feel like slinking into the whole "why me" thing


----------



## natural (Jan 14, 2013)

BackOnTrack said:


> I had this problem right out of the gate starting with my first sexual encounter and it lasted through the first 15yrs of marriage. I did a lot of reading and tried many things without much success. The stop/start method is useless without a patient and willing partner, and causes more problems then it solves. Trying to distract myself by thinking of other things was of no use whatsoever.
> 
> Ultimately, I realized I had to solve this on my own. The best book I found was "How to Overcome Premature Ejaculation". It gives you exercises that you can do on your own, so you don't have to deal with any outside pressures. The key is knowing your body well enough to recognize the need stop before reaching the point of no return. You'll need to become a pro at knowing this sensation. This is what you will focus on learning first. The other most important thing is breathing. Just as you would do slow deep breathing to calm yourself in a stressful situation, the same applies to sex.
> 
> After much practice, I could then control myself using a combination of breathing and speed. When I get close, I stop for 30 seconds. I've found that after 2 or 3 stops(or close calls), I can then control myself extremely well though minor changes in the speed of thrusting along with breathing. Once you have a some success with that, the increased confidence goes a long way to helping too. There are still times I get a little carried away in the moment and forget to do my breathing and....boom.


Thank you, that's a very... realistic post, I may have to check that book out... currently I'm reading another book that's a little more geared to just my own mental state in life, then i recently picked up Self-Help Audio MP3s, CDs, and Tapes by Dr. Michael Broder to check out, im a slow reader but i'll definately keep your suggestion in mind, yours seems much more focused on my specific issue than the two i have but hey... i paid for them im gonna read them!


----------



## NewHubs (Dec 23, 2012)

Overcoming PE is not easy to master as I still have instances where I orgasm quickly. As one poster suggested it's all in the breathing. This is especially true for me when my wife wants it from behind. The minute she bends over I know I have to really concentrate. My wife knows this is the one true position that sets me off quickly and she is very understanding of this. She doesn't mind that I move slow at first but expects me to really pick up the pace. Some days I can and sometimes it doesn't work out that way. 

It's a work in progress.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## natural (Jan 14, 2013)

Thank you guys, i've started a kegel routine, going to try and really stick to it for as long as it takes, maybe it will help, maybe not... But I truly think it could, one thing I know I'd that generally when i'm at my hardest erections I preform my best, so kegels fall in line for two reasons.... the advice to masturbate beforehand not only makes this an issue but I feel way more confident when its been a few days... Consequently I've completely quit masturbation... I may fool around a but here and there but its usually just looking at some videos on things I want to do with the wife, and I don't ever finish.

Either way fellas, even if this thread dies I may refer back to it when I need a lift


----------



## c2500 (Aug 17, 2011)

I glanced thrugh some other posts, and am not sure if this was mentioned. You might want to try a low dose of an anti-depressant. I am currently taking venaflexine xr (Effixer XR generic) and I can go for hours (4 close to non stop...not bragging just relaying what it does). Well, as a rule I take a very long time to finish, but the drug has made it almost impossible to finish. I was talking with my doctor about this, and he said he prescribes it for PE.

Take it for what it is worth.


----------



## cone (Aug 6, 2008)

c2500 said:


> I glanced thrugh some other posts, and am not sure if this was mentioned. You might want to try a low dose of an anti-depressant. I am currently taking venaflexine xr (Effixer XR generic) and I can go for hours (4 close to non stop...not bragging just relaying what it does). Well, as a rule I take a very long time to finish, but the drug has made it almost impossible to finish. I was talking with my doctor about this, and he said he prescribes it for PE.
> 
> Take it for what it is worth.


A doctor will prescribe this for PE? And it be in your medical record that it was prescribed for this purpose?
I want to try a small dose of anti-depressants but do not want it in my record that I am depressed or anything like that...


----------



## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Cone, if you're wanting to fight the blues you should read the book "Mood Cure". Natural remedies which are proven to be effective. If you're not in a life threatening depression I would strongly advise not going to Rx anti-depressants unless nothing else is working.

If you want them for ED, I have never heard of Rx AD meds helping, but I have heard of them reducing libido.


----------

