# wife cought



## brooom (Apr 4, 2012)

well i would have to start off that our marriage has not always been the best or even close to that. We have tried to make it work councilors and just trying to talk. It has been up and down for the past 3 years and we have 2 children at this point. A few nights ago i was looking through some pictures on our sprint picture mail website and came across some photos sent to another man of my wife naked nothing like her masturbating but she was naked. I as you can tell was very upset about this so it was about 3 in the morning when i woke her up and confronted her with this, there was no way i could sleep without knowing what this was about. So i asked her and this man i a coworker who she claims she has already stopped talking to due to him trying to get more than that and that she felt bad(this was her version). But i feel there was more i mean he sent her texts implicating having sex with her or wanting to. from the text logs she hasn't spoken to him but i still feel like i am charring a huge burden, Though on the other hand this is not the first time the last time i cough her she was telling her ex from high school that she loved him and missed him though she was incredibly intoxicated. I want to forgive and forget because i love her and i want to keep this family together but on the other hand, this is the second time and i feel like it went to far. I know she wont talk to him again but what happens when the next guy comes along, and that part that kills me is she says she has no attraction to black men but she sent naked pictures to one saying she just wanted someone to tell her she looked good. I try so hard to make her happy and i try to tell her she looks pretty every day but i feel myself coming undone after all of this. I told her since she seemed very honest about it i would forgive her and work through it but i don't know it is so difficult to even deal with. I just want to explode and i just don't know what to do, i want to forgive her but i don't want to be an idiot anymore. what do i need to do so my wife wont stray anymore, i just don't know any suggestions would be helpful.


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## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)

Dysfunctional marriage
Wife still has feelings for her ex
Sending naked pics to co workers
You'll probably get the "I love you but not in-love with you" speech

It's a no brainer really


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

It'll happen again. She is a serial cheater. Get her to take a polygraph. If she won't divorce her, she had sex.


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

1. She sent naked pictures to him. Why would she do this if she was not already heavily involved with him?
2. You read texts from the OM implicating that he had sex with her.
3. You caught her previously telling her ex how much she loves him.

My advise: Get tested for STD's and see a lawyer. If the roles were reversed would she be as accepting as you? She clearly has no respect for you or your marriage. If you do not respect yourself then who will? Good luck.


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## me2pointoh (Jan 31, 2012)

"Seemed very honest about it"... They are very good at seeming honest. You are in no position to forgive as many here will tell you. If you make it so easy on her she won't appreciate your forgiveness and continue to walk all over you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mahike (Aug 16, 2011)

Check her cell phone for pictures and texts messages. put a keylogger on your computer and a VAR in the car. Get to the Dr as quick as you can and get checked for STD's. She says they did not have sex, not sure I would believe that. Check the credit cards for hotel rooms and so on the next thing to do is getting into IC as quick as you can

Confront the POSM that she has been messing with and the exboyfriend and tell their spouses or GF's

Did your wife ever send you pictures like that? I bet not. Tell her Mom and Dad as well you need to get this out in the open and fast if you want it to stop

Your wife will most likley create new email accounts and or get a throw away phone.

Stay strong for your kids. If she does not want to stop seeing this guy show her the door. Keep your cool that will be the hard thing to do. I still think about taking a baseball bat to the POSM body parts.


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

Well, your name kinda speaks volume. Rug sweeping after the 1st incident, love the wife too much, she said she's sorry, you moved on with life like nothing ever happened.

Now it's happened again (as far as you know there are only 2) so what are you gonna do now? Brooom it under the rug again?

Balls in your court, IMO I would hit that ball out of the court and call it a day. But then you have 2 kids and it makes things harder to just kick her to the curb and move on with life.

Weigh your options and decide, can you trust her to stop doing this? And if not, can you handle it happening again?

You live with her, we don't so take some time and make a decision and stand by it.


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

If a friend of yours came to you for advice and said, my wife is sending pictures of herself, out over the internet---to another man----what advice would you give him??????

You cannot forgive and forget---you obviously forgave, and forgot the 1st time, and now your wife---the one you married, the one that is spose to be your partner, and no one else's----she is sending nude pictures of herself---out to others

This has to be dealt with---not swept under the rug

She needs to be held accountable----if you wanna R, this mge---then the following MUST happen

She quits her job, you take away her phone, and her computer----she gets no electronics whatsoever----If she balks, objects---tell her to go find an Atty., so she can defend against your coming D., action

She has to know by your ACTIONS, this is never to happen again, in any way shape or form----WORDS ARE MEANINGLESS, as you are finding out----there must be ACTIONABLE CONSEQUENCES----and the MUST START YESTERDAY


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## Knoxvillekelly (Mar 17, 2012)

not much you can do to change a person. Its so hard to know what to do and you want to fix it. But you can't change a person


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## Jonesey (Jul 11, 2011)

* So i asked her and this man i a coworker who she claims she has already stopped talking to due to him trying to get more than that and that she felt bad*
What proof do you have that is the case?? *Though on the other hand this is not the first time the last time i cough her she was telling her ex from high school that she loved him and missed him though she was incredibly intoxicated. *
What was her excuse for talking that way?
*I want to forgive and forget because i love her and i want to keep this family together but on the other hand,*
Forgiveness is a wonderful gift to offer someone..If it´s earned.
Your wife has yet earned it..

*this is the second time and i feel like it went to far.*

This seriously need´s to be addressed.If you chose to reconcile.
It will be reputed other wise. *I know she wont talk to him again* 
On what info are you basing it on??
OM is a coworker, right?

*but what happens when the next guy comes along, *
Again this behavior need´s
to be addresses by a professional..


*and that part that kills me is she says she has no attraction to black men but she sent naked pictures to one saying she just wanted someone to tell her she looked good*. 
Really? Again professional help.Is needed.
*I try so hard to make her happy and i try to tell her she looks pretty every day *
Sadly it docent matter what you say 
or do..Something isn't ok with her 
right now..


*I told her since she seemed very honest about it i would forgive her and work through*
Not so fast..Remember you forgive
to easy once before?? There was no consequences then. And here we are again..

* just don't know what to do, i want to forgive her but i don't want to be an idiot anymore. 
*

You are not a idiot.. You just are to caring and quick to offer forgiveness.
With out any consequences..
She need´s seriously to talk to 
One IC..Regardless if you reconcile or not.


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

Quit.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

First off I would have a hard time believing her explanations on anything considering this is the second incident...that you know of. This like mice. If you see one there's probaly more, if you see two you probably have an infestation.

She can satisfy her need for feeling attractive without sending pics of herself to random dudes. The "not being attracted to black guys" thing would hold more water if the pic was a naked one.


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## hisfac (Feb 10, 2012)

brooom said:


> I know she wont talk to him again


No you don't.



brooom said:


> she says she has no attraction to black men but she sent naked pictures to one


Lots of white guys have email accounts and celphones that are capable of receiving naked pictures of other men's wives, and I'm sure she knows that- yet she sent naked pictures of herself to a black man _while telling you she's not attracted to black men._

Does that make sense to you?

Buddy you gotta lose the blinders and lose the cheating wife, there's nothing left for you here except continued deception and more pain.



Jonesey said:


> You are not a idiot.. You just are to caring and quick to offer forgiveness.


Nah, it's not that he's too caring, it's that he's afraid to be alone and start his life over. He'd prefer to stay with the cheating wife than take his chances on the unknown, the financial hit, the changes he'd go through in his life secondary to divorce. It's weak but understandable. But it's not because he is too caring.



Initfortheduration said:


> She is a serial cheater. Get her to take a polygraph. If she won't divorce her, she had sex.


Huh?


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