# Seek advice on 2 counseling questions



## Gyme (May 15, 2012)

The first question is do I share with my spouse about me starting couseling for personal acceptance of marriage situation or divorce? If no when should I disclose. If yes, should I give her the oppertunity to be a part and adapt the scope to Sex Threapy to address her issues?

How would I interview a counselor for either personal acceptance of Sex Therapy?

Thanks in advance for any comments.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

What is the situation?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

I'm very pro-marriage unless there is abuse if there isn't.... 

I believe you should involve your wife or at least give her the opportunity to work on your relationship.

But yes...tell us more.


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## Gyme (May 15, 2012)

diwali123 said:


> What is the situation?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Long story short. After 14 years of sex fustration due to ever excuse under the sun and trying every approach, would like to break the cycle.

I could not keep it from her. I explained where I am with the lack of sexual exploration and how this is now just my problem. That previous efforts, discussion and therapy never address my need and even avoided the topic.

She changed her tune with us on the line. She now wants to do what it takes. Yeah it looked on her face as it sounded with reluctance.

Just makes it more clear to me that I need to find a way to deal with it. That I hope she is serious and can find an interest in being curious about sex. When she says no to trying a new position or me going down on her that I have a way to not go off the deep end. I need a way to end it in a healthy way.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Gyme (May 15, 2012)

I am preping the long version. On page 8 with just the highlights. If interest, I will share.

We agreed to work on issues with sex and set a checkpoint to talk in a few weeks.

The thing that does not add up for me is her ability to change. She states no interest in sex then claims to masterbate while I shower. What it tells me is that she does not want to divorce or go outside the marriage for sex. But with anyone else she would like enjoy and take an interest in the sex. I once thought it would tough and she would have to face these issues with the net guy too. Now I think she could move on with ease. Which means she wants to stay for some reason and even have reluctant sex.

Idk
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## Married&Confused (Jan 19, 2011)

one ofthe biggest issues i have with going to therapy alone is that my therapist only gets my side of the story.

if your wife went, she may reveal reasons why she doesn't want to have sex with you and based on those revelations you could both work on making it better. but it takes two of you.

the only thing you are going to learn by going to therapy alone is how to cope with not having sex or how to move on with your life without her.


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## Gyme (May 15, 2012)

It seams I am in the cope or move on state.

Sad, but in reflection she does not want to change based on her actions with repeated attempts to address on my part. She even stated she did not know anything was wrong.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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