# I’m tired of being tired



## Imtryin (Jun 1, 2020)

I made the amazingly times decision to ask for a separation literally 9 days before covid hit and shut life down. I’ve been with my wife for over 20 years and have been married for 10 of it but emotionally let go years ago. I found myself just tolerating non-listening, tolerating lack of support for my career choice, and tolerating a lack of assimilation into my extended family for years and finally had enough. I wish I was of the ilk to simply get up and go, to just leave and cut ties but we have a child and i have responsibilities to our home that I will not let go by the waste side.because of that and what I initiated I’m dealing with the Constance of her feelings, her loss, her hurt and her devastation and never having my own dealt with, understood or actualized in any way. It’s been a process over the last ten weeks and for her it’s been those ten weeks. For me, it’s been hundreds! I haven’t been willing to go to counseling and in part haven’t wanted to because I don’t want to fix what I now feel I have outgrown. I’m scared for my child and horrified at....starting fresh. Simply put, I’m just tired!


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## [email protected] (Dec 23, 2017)

Could you give a little of the details leading up to this? Evidently, she cheated. Is that right?


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## Imtryin (Jun 1, 2020)

No absolutely not. I started my relationship at 19 and over the course of many years have given and given and given and realized how much was given On my end and how much more had not been received in return. I need more than the physicality of a relationship. I need depth, empathy and the ability to feel and be heard. I feel like I’ve been living in the shoes of my wife, could write volumes of novels about who she is and what she is about and quite honestly don’t think she could do the same for me. I got tired of it all and broke free. The breaking or separation has occurred in this crazy time and it’s just compounded by a need for space that has of yet not been given or my feelings and words understood.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

You asked for a separation, right? Why a separation instead of a divorce?

What have you done make this happen? Have you talked to an attorney?

How old is your child?


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

Imtryin said:


> I found myself just tolerating non-listening, tolerating lack of support for my career choice, and tolerating a lack of assimilation into my extended family for years and finally had enough.


If this would change on your wife's part, would you then want to continue your marriage ?

Would keeping your marriage be your "home run" ? And, which of these tolerations would be a "base hit" ?

Is your goal to find another woman who will attend to your needs ? A woman who will engage in your extended family, support your career, and hear empathetically your struggles ?


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## No-MoreMr.NiceGuy (May 1, 2020)

Imtryin said:


> I made the amazingly times decision to ask for a separation literally 9 days before covid hit and shut life down. I’ve been with my wife for over 20 years and have been married for 10 of it but emotionally let go years ago. I found myself just tolerating non-listening, tolerating lack of support for my career choice, and tolerating a lack of assimilation into my extended family for years and finally had enough. I wish I was of the ilk to simply get up and go, to just leave and cut ties but we have a child and i have responsibilities to our home that I will not let go by the waste side.because of that and what I initiated I’m dealing with the Constance of her feelings, her loss, her hurt and her devastation and never having my own dealt with, understood or actualized in any way. It’s been a process over the last ten weeks and for her it’s been those ten weeks. For me, it’s been hundreds! I haven’t been willing to go to counseling and in part haven’t wanted to because I don’t want to fix what I now feel I have outgrown. I’m scared for my child and horrified at....starting fresh. Simply put, I’m just tired!


This makes me horribly sad, because I'm in your wife's shoes, my wife is feeling how you are, processed her feelings only to leave me with this guy wrenching pain. Your wife is reeling, her world is crashing down. She doesn't understand your feelings, which is where a MC might help even just her to understand you. I'm pretty close to signing our papers, to lose the family I've always known forever, please try to have a little compassion and help her through the pain.


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## jewels465 (Nov 20, 2014)

So, are you talking to another woman? 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

Why is this in the Coping With Infidelity section ?


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