# my wife wants sex all the time



## ict (Apr 8, 2013)

My wife and I have been married for ten months. She wants sex at least once a weekday and three to four times a day on the weekend. Once we did it six times on a Saturday and when I didn't want it for the seventh time she got angry. 

I love my wife deeply. She is awesome on every level. However, We are both 39 and I am challenged to muster up energy on any sexual activity past the third time in one day.

She equates sexual activity to love and becomes sad, sleepless and angry when I simply sleep in lieu of sex after a long day.

Does anyone have any thoughts or any experience in this situation?


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

There is a poster here named Random Dude that had a similar sitch. I'm sure he will find your post and respond.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

There's a guy on TAM called 'randomdude'... he lived your life.
Look for his posts... his story hasn't had a happy ending but maybe it went on for too long or maybe the reasons were different...dunno. 

Have you googled sex addiction? Does that sound like her?

It must be very frustrating to feel you can NEVER satisfy your partner.

HA! Great minds think alike fathful wife!


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## urnotme (Jun 1, 2012)

It must be frustrating indeed. Sounds a bit immature on her part too. Surely there can be a reasonable solution to this dilemma? If every other aspect of the relationship is good, then with good communication maybe things will work themselves out. 

It may just be the newness of the marriage has her all worked up. Was she this way before you were married 10 months ago?


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

She might need some counseling.

Have you spoken to her about this?
Is she aware there is a finite amount of sexual energy a male can muster over the course of a day?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Quit rubbing it in LOL


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

When I first read this, I thought WOW! I'd love to see my wife with a drive that better matched up with mine. But...when your wife is looking to it 4 - 6 times on Sat and Sun...even I start thinking that may be excessive. And I have a high drive and would love to do 2 a days, every day. Actually, if you do end up doing it twice a day, every day, she would still get 14 times/wk - and you guys are probably closer to 13 - 16 times/week. Can you "compromise" and ask her to do it first in the morning and right before bed every day instead of trying to bang it out 4 - 6 times on Sat and Sun?


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

Look up RandomDude.
He's been through this, his wife has a sex addiction, sounds similar to your wife.

He's probably got lots of useful advice.
See, RD, this is why you are still here!


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## plasmasunn (Apr 3, 2013)

Ok, I really don't have anything beneficial to add here, but I'm just curious...how is your wife able to walk??? 

At first glance, it sounds like it would be awesome to get laid, literally, on a constant basis. But I feel the actuality of it would be painful and hellish. 

However, you did say something I can relate to:
"She equates sexual activity to love and becomes sad, sleepless and angry when I simply sleep in lieu of sex after a long day."

I was the same way with drunk sex when I first started dating my husband...after a college stint in ****tiness, I got so used to having crazy drunk sex that when my husband couldn't get it up after hours at the bar, it turned into a huge fight and I'd get soooo mad. In retrospect, it's pretty dumb, but it was a big deal to me at the time.

Sounds like you'll need some counseling and your wife may have either a sex addiction, as mentioned, or some extremely deep rooted insecurity/self esteem problems. 

I actually looked up some of RandomGuy's posts...yeah, he seems to be the guy to help you! 

Good luck!


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

...

Well considering my wife and I are seperated and heading for divorce I doubt I can do much than offer much more support then the fact that I've lived it

And to help you not feel alone in this as this is not something that many people will understand unfortunately

Others who have lived it (still living it even) YET remain married are much more qualified in my opinion. Look up Mavash or SimplyAmorous, much of my understanding in regards to my situation came from them

But by the heavens... I almost feel  at my infamy with you guys posting my name in this thread >.<


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

All the advice I gave to RD would apply to you.

Start by saying no and letting her pout. 

She isn't going to die if she doesn't get sex 5 times in a day.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

She might whinge, she might threaten, she may even be manipulative, play on your ego even, accuse you of cheating, push pity parties, argue her rights and your obligations as a husband, even twist her religion to make you submit, even get her friends involved to make you feel inadequate, and/or a combination of fking everything.

You are not dealing with the woman you love at this point, you're dealing with someone akin to a Heroin addict who would do anything for a fix. You will risk losing her, she may even cheat, the possibilities will always be there but as Mavash said:

Say no, and stick to it. No matter how hard it is. That's as plain as the advice gets, and it took me 2 years and I came full circle before I finally realised what it meant to have BOUNDARIES. How long it takes for you to solve this is up to you; I don't have a happy ending, Mavash's husband however, has, and he said NO.

There will be no guarantees of whether or not this can be fixed, but the priority will be to stick to your principles, stick to what you can give her but NO MORE. If you continue to give in (which I have done for 4 years of marriage), then your chances of utter failure like me will be more probable then if you establish boundaries early on.

Sheez... this thread brings back memories I'd rather forget


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Great post RD.

How does it feel to be giving advice instead of taking it for a change?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I dont know... I still feel unqualified heh

Its been a crazy few years and now I'm celibate, but, I guess I underestimate myself in how I can help others who are going through what I went through. Failing in establishing boundaries has only encouraged her behaviour, and now I have paid the price.

But meh, enough of memories, I shall return to my posts of breaking gold digging hearts and dreaming of climbing radio towers and complaining about the quality of women thus far in my city lol


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## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

Hmmm.... you did it SIX TIMES in one day and she got angry when you wouldn't do a seventh?

OK, I think I'll file this thread into the "probably fake" category. 

This is also the OP's only submission, which makes me even more suspicious.


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

It happens *Theseus*. I had a relationship with a bona-fide nymphomaniac. A guy thinks he wants that but like any addiction it interferes in normal life. You feel like a hero when she is locked up in full body spasms and squirting like a garden hose. But when she can't even drive home from school without pulling behind a gas station and whipping out the dildo for a few orgasms before coming home for five or six more, then on through the night with her toys... it's like she's an animal. 

My wife now and I are both HD so it isn't a problem. After four years we could still pull of seven in a day but in our fifth year the best we can do is four in a day. The only thing I didn't like in the beginning was she used to wake me up at 2 or 3 a.m. for a round when I preferred to be sleeping. But I never turned her down. It was duty sex a lot of the times but one I was happy to give her. Having kids seems to have cured that.

The anger is wrong. That's such a no-brainer.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Sex = love...somethings wrong maybe?

Its been my experience that as long as quantity over rides quality then I have no problem with taking a *few* minutes out of my *hour* to meet Mrs. the-guys's need.

Just like RD mentioned you need boundaries and for me as long as its quantity that meets her needs then fine but complaining about quality is unacceptable several times a day.


Don;t get me wrong I feel the need to keep up with the next guy and spending time on the week ends is awesome. But but pulling out the "toy chest" and locking her up and working on her for several hours....every day is unhealthy...it desensitizes her, loses the thrill for me and just won;t work.

The way I see it as long as I can keep my shoes on and not have to take my shoes off she is more then welcome to getting a quickie in the hallway.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Dude, your real problems start when she quits wanting it. If you're not up to the task, get an implant.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

RandomDude said:


> Others who have lived it (still living it even) YET remain married are much more qualified in my opinion. Look up Mavash or SimplyAmorous, much of my understanding in regards to my situation came from them


 Not still living it ....but I still talk about it.....Looking back, I would have fit the Nympho definition (for only 8 months)....it appeared to be a Mid life Hormonal Surge of sorts (had physical symptoms even)... stayed for a time... then took a dive and has remained GOOD drive ever since (seems more emotionally driven now)...though the memories were so good, I try to hold on to what was.... even if husband couldn't keep up during that time...... 

Would have loved 3 times a day but had to settle on once...yeah.. I was pretty  with that ...

I just was wishing he was younger...since WE never did the whole "jumping each other like rabbits 2-3 times a day" in our earlier years... I was feeling we missed out....

We got through my WILD spell....and all for the better.. 

Being emotionally torn up & in turmoil over needing it THAT much - something is not right... I 'd look into these articles.. .what "fits" your wife -that could have led her to this obsessing, this need ? 

Hypersexuality: Symptoms of Sexual Addiction ..... 

Manic Hypersexuality and the Reality of Sexual Addiction



> It is believed that sexual addiction is a dysfunctional adult response to innate personality, character or emotional regulatory deficits, as well as a reaction to *early attachment disorders,* *abuse *and *trauma*.
> 
> In order for the diagnosis of sex addiction to be made, professionals must first rule out concurrent drug abuse, as well as those major mental health disorders that also include hypersexuality as a symptom.
> 
> Examples of these include *bipolar disorder*, *obsessive-compulsive disorder* and *adult attention deficit disorder*, all of which have hypersexual or impulsive sexual behavior as a potential symptom. Some individuals may have both a major mental disorder and sexual addiction, both of which need to be addressed, much as one might be both alcoholic and bipolar.


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

I do not have a sex life. I have written about it before as it is the bane of my existence. Maybe 5 times in the last 5 years with my wife with one stretch 3.5 years without. Last time was in early January.

So, to me that sounds like a dream come true. Of course, dreams are different than reality. I consider myself fairly HD. I am uncomfortable if I go more than a day without some sexual release, even if I have to take it into my own hands. I imagine if I divorce and I find the right partner, I will be like a teenager for a while. I remember those weekends when the only time I got dressed was so I could pay for the food we ordered in. That said, that can't be kept up forever and expect to lead a normal life. There is my extreme with no sex and then there is the other extreme where it dominates your life to the point that it interferes with other things that are important to you ... that is what we call an addiction. Neither extreme is very healthy. 

I would be very concerned about the anger aspect of this. You had sex 6 times and she literally gets angry for not being able to go a 7th time? Wow. The anger aspect indicates an addiction and it is a problem. As great as all that sex sounds to me, it doesn't sound like you (or any one man) will be able to keep her happy. What if you could go a 7th time; would she get upset that you couldn't go an 8th time?

I don't know how to address a sex addiction issue but I think you should start investigating that route.


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## Marianita (Feb 24, 2013)

Maybe she's just happy to have you and she enjoys to be with you. You could talk to her and tell her what bothers you. I am sure she will understand that you are not comfortable with this. Show your reasons and explain your feelings to her


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## BrockLanders (Jul 23, 2012)

I don't think I've done it 6 times in one day my whole life lol.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MrsOldNews (Feb 22, 2012)

*Re: Re: my wife wants sex all the time*



BrockLanders said:


> I don't think I've done it 6 times in one day my whole life lol.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Not even as a teenager?


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Theseus said:


> Hmmm.... you did it SIX TIMES in one day and she got angry when you wouldn't do a seventh?
> 
> OK, I think I'll file this thread into the "probably fake" category.
> 
> This is also the OP's only submission, which makes me even more suspicious.


Hey, one can hope!!


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## BrockLanders (Jul 23, 2012)

MrsOldNews said:


> Not even as a teenager?


With another person? No. :lol:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

I can understand someone wanting sex often but when they want sex way above the average person but 3-4 times a day just seems like there has to be more than just physical desire but also psychological issues like insecurity at work. More than 15-20 times a month would be out of the question for me and that number is a lot lower for most I think. Actually I couldn't do that anymore probably. Maybe she needs to pleasure herself and if that's not an option then go to councilling. 

Set a boundary, a min/max per week and that's that. If you and her can't find a number that works then cut your losses because it won't work.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Wow. I thought I was bad! 

6-7 times in one day...She's obviously got something going on in her head as well as her hormones. With me, it's all a matter of simply being horny but that much sex would start hurting physically. Doesn't she get sore? :scratchhead:

Sometimes too much is simply..too much.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

3-4x was enough to make my STBX sore, but she still wanted it anyway. Glad to be rid of her now really reading these posts


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

The problem IMHO isnt automatically just that she wants sex that much(that could be a problem ) but that she isn't being considerate of you in trying to get that much.She is only thinking about herself and acting selfish and immature.Also if she litterally believes "sex =love" to the exclusion of any other gesture of love then she is doomed to not ever be/feel fully loved.And she is robbing you of the opportunity to express love in other ways that are accepted and appreciated almost in a way that any other effort is a waste of time or just "things in life" that don't matter all too much which is hurtful.

When there is "only" one thing a spouse can do to make the other feel you love and care for them you feel "minimized".Or "reduced" and even pretty much "useless" but for that "one thing"..and if its "never enough" or beyond your ability its BECAUSE they have limited you to that "one thing".


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## DaddyLongShanks (Nov 6, 2012)

ict said:


> My wife and I have been married for ten months. She wants sex at least once a weekday and three to four times a day on the weekend. Once we did it six times on a Saturday and when I didn't want it for the seventh time she got angry.
> 
> I love my wife deeply. She is awesome on every level. However, We are both 39 and I am challenged to muster up energy on any sexual activity past the third time in one day.
> 
> ...


Some of us HD husbands wish we had this sort of problem. The only problem I would have personally is if the sessions needed to be long and cut into productive time. If she was fine with short sessions to orgasm, I'd see no problem with a high frequency.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

> Also if she litterally believes "sex =love" to the exclusion of any other gesture of love then she is doomed to not ever be/feel fully loved.And she is robbing you of the opportunity to express love in other ways that are accepted and appreciated almost in a way that any other effort is a waste of time or just "things in life" that don't matter all too much which is hurtful.


Agreed, my STBX has this problem, and when I showed her the 5 love languages concept she just went ok, "mine's physical touch", which in her mind still meant: "sex = love" -.-



> The only problem I would have personally is if the sessions needed to be long and cut into productive time.


And that's how it is mate, my STBX outright refused to let me go unless both of us are satisfied each session, she wasn't even content with me satisfying her and running away, and I found it hard to orgasm at times especially at later sessions.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

> Some of us HD husbands wish we had this sort of problem. The only problem I would have personally is if the sessions needed to be long and cut into productive time. If she was fine with short sessions to orgasm, I'd see no problem with a high frequency.


The problem can be that its not a matter of "fine with short sessions to orgasm" with many men and women it takes longer and longer to have one with high frequency sex.Women usually right off the bat take longer to begin with.If you are conditioned to having sex 15 times a week, week in and week out....you normally aren't going to be having an orgasm in 10 minutes or less..or even 30 for that matter..You are desensitized.


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## DaddyLongShanks (Nov 6, 2012)

ict said:


> My wife and I have been married for ten months. She wants sex at least once a weekday and three to four times a day on the weekend. Once we did it six times on a Saturday and when I didn't want it for the seventh time she got angry.
> 
> I love my wife deeply. She is awesome on every level. However, We are both 39 and I am challenged to muster up energy on any sexual activity past the third time in one day.
> 
> ...


Some of us HD husbands wish we had this sort of problem. The only problem I would have personally is if the sessions needed to be long and cut into productive time. If she was fine with short sessions to orgasm, I'd see no problem with a high frequency.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

> Agreed, my STBX has this problem, and when I showed her the 5 love languages concept she just went ok, "mine's physical touch", which in her mind still meant: "sex = love" -.-


My husband is similar.And its heartbreaking.Like my "hands were tied" to nurture /love him even in ways that just came natural and smooth as honey that thrilled me to do (I thoroughly enjoyed) were considered "burdens in life that just "had to be done".They weren't an "act of love".

Its this feeling of you are "only" there or "only" important to this person for one all be it "important" aspect but the "rest" of your love is pretty much "waste" "not needed" you feel almost like not a "whole" person to them and constricted " if that makes sense.Its depressing.Not to mention you can NOT fill them up in that "one way".


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## DavidWYoung (Feb 3, 2012)

Have you considered a Sybian sex toy?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

dallasapple said:


> My husband is similar.And its heartbreaking.Like my "hands were tied" to nurture /love him even in ways that just came natural and smooth as honey that thrilled me to do (I thoroughly enjoyed) were considered "burdens in life that just "had to be done".They weren't an "act of love".
> 
> Its this feeling of you are "only" there or "only" important to this person for one all be it "important" aspect but the "rest" of your love is pretty much "waste" "not needed" you feel almost like not a "whole" person to them and constricted " if that makes sense.Its depressing.Not to mention you can NOT fill them up in that "one way".


Well, when it comes to whether or not I found it a "burden" - actually came down to her attitude. I'm a very physical person as well, but my groin isn't the only thing that is physical; I like other forms of affection, the romance and the tease. My STBX however although seemingly appreciative of it just wanted sex and didn't care about other forms of love.

I give her a thoughtful gift, she just wants sex, I remind her why and how much I love her, she just wants sex, I come home and sweep her off her feet, she just wants sex. And if I don't put out, she put on her Darth Wifey helmet, so no fun! End result: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/ladies-lounge/65910-cant-touch-her-if-its-not-sex.html

Was I a husband or fkbuddy? Nothing I ever did mattered, she just wanted sex. Became successful at my business, she complained about not having enough sex, tried to work on my issues to become a better husband, she complained about me not giving her enough sex.

All the while the thought that I may actually be sore myself, goes right in over her head... oh well, 'good' times, never going to bother trying to be anyone's husband again lol


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## DaddyLongShanks (Nov 6, 2012)

dallasapple said:


> The problem can be that its not a matter of "fine with short sessions to orgasm" with many men and women it takes longer and longer to have one with high frequency sex.Women usually right off the bat take longer to begin with.If you are conditioned to having sex 15 times a week, week in and week out....you normally aren't going to be having an orgasm in 10 minutes or less..or even 30 for that matter..You are desensitized.


Depends on the person. I had a nympho ex, we would do it to go to bed every night and several hours each weekend or non-working time. Each time, you are getting more and deeper into the "zone" for high altitude sex. It definitely didn't desensitize me, we got onto a rhythm that it was getting better and better, just a little bit at a time. This lasted for years until she turned on me, I'd say 6.5 years...


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