# Sex problems in new marriage



## Leroy (Jul 27, 2011)

I was hoping to a get a neutral third party opinion on my current situation in my marriage. My wife and I recently married in June. Two weeks prior to getting married I started having major problems with PE. This was not really even a problem the prior year we were sexually active. Now it’s going on 2 months since my problem and we’ve had sex about ten times and I’m still not able to perform. My wife is not too into foreplay or oral because it makes her uncomfortable. I never really thought so because she seemed to enjoy it. She recently told me that the reason she doesn’t enjoy it sometimes is that she was molested when she was younger. I’ve read other threads on this site and told her about things we can possible try (i.e. foreplay, oral, etc) and things I can do to improve (i.e. start/stop, kegel exercises, desensitizing cream). Like I said above, satisfying her with foreplay/oral is not really an option. After so many failures, she’s not too into the idea of having sex again after I come via sex/foreplay. I feel really bad about all this as I would really like to try and fix this. My wife is also the type to seek attention elsewhere, which I knew what I was getting in to before we married. She texts a lot and I know she’s flirted with other men, sometimes going too far. This just adds to my anxiety as the longer I can’t please her, the more paranoid I become about her going elsewhere. I understand that it’s difficult for her to want to try after so many failures but I’ve run out of options since I can’t please her in other ways like I would like to try. I feel like she has given up on me and I’ve communicated this many times and it makes her angry to talk about the whole situation. I can’t help but talk about it because she doesn’t really want to try and if I don’t communicate my frustration then I’ll just want to explode. Can someone please provide any insight or share their opinions on my situation?


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

You should see your doctor for treatment options.

Also, get your wife into therapy. A wife unwilling to engage in foreplay is an inadequate wife. I understand her emotional issues, but those are things to be overcome, not used as an excuse to deny you an important part of your marriage.

If you knowingly married a woman inclined to cheat on you, then you win the dumbest thing I've heard today contest. 

Since your wife doesn't want to talk about your PE and anxiety, I suggest not talking about it. Go to your doctor, get some desensitizing gel to wear under a condom, tell your wife to hop in the sack, and go to town.

Also, search the web for some blogs on relationship game like Married Man Sex Life that can offer you some strategies on dealing with a challenging wife such as yours.

Good luck.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

PA I get. You are mind screwing yourself. I've been there but the wife not wanting foreplay sounds very strange to me. I think you need some of the ladies here to speak to that one. Cause that sounds like the total opposite of what most women want to me.


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