# How soon is too soon to be fighting after marriage?



## babydollnewly (May 19, 2011)

Hi, 
I am new here and I need a little advice, I have been married for less than a month and we are already not speaking to each other, this has been an issue for the majority of our relationship(3yrs), I really want to spend time with my husband but he has his mind on other things, he wants us to accomplish things like cars, house,etc, but what I am trying to get him to see is that you don't have to neglect your wife to achieve these things. We don't live under the same roof because we don't have a house yet and he stays at his moms and we have had sex 3 times since being married. But he makes time for his friends, I can't complain about this anymore I am so frustrated, he always says i am worried about the wrong things and we have the rest of our lives together and he is not going anywhere, but no one is promised tomorrow, and I am literally begging for his attention, but aim starting to feel like maybe this is it, things will never change because this is how he is, I told my self that maybe after we accomplished something that things will change but why should material things dictate how i am treated in my relationship,I really need advice, this is my first marriage and is it too soon to be feeling like maybe I made a mistake?
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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

You've been married for three years and don't live together "yet"?
You don't have a marriage, you have a legal contract.
Why can't the two of you rent a house or apartment together?
Also, for as little time as you two spend together, if you fight a lot, don't expect it to get better.


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## babydollnewly (May 19, 2011)

No, no, sorry, we have been married for exactly 29 days, been together for 3 yrs, but my thing is, what to do when material things and goals seem more important than your relationship?
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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

I think men frequently concern themselves with material things and goals. Was he like this before you got married? Or is because you are now married you expected something different? Is there an immediate plan to move in together? Why did you get married if he wasn't even planning to live with you?


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## tpb72 (Feb 18, 2011)

This fight is an existing one. If you two value different things why did you marry him? 

It seems to me you were fully aware of what was important to him going in and wanted to spend the rest of your life with this situation. 

I think you need to either accept this or end it. If you married him hoping it would change him you are in for a truly unhappy marriage.


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## babydollnewly (May 19, 2011)

I did know before we got married, I married him because he is honest and kind and has a beautiful heart, of all the years I have been with him, he has never lied to me or cheated on me( to my knowledge) we lived together prior to getting married but moved out to save for the wedding, and we do plan on moving back in with each other, but in the mean time, we can't forget about each other and our relationship, how do I get him to understand that without him getting angry? And I also did think that once we gotten married he would be so excited that we would for sure spend more time together, even when we lived together he wants play his video games and chill, and everyone says to me, stop complaining bececause at least he is home all the time
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