# Bummed attitude = I want divorce



## on again-off again wife (Mar 25, 2010)

Ladies,

I am troubled by the situation that I am currently in. I have been a little depressed lately, the beginning of the year I started a Home Jewelry party business, which is not doing well. My husband is supportive one minute, the next he's either too clingy which, I don't appreciate when I'm upset or upset himself that I'm still upset.

I stormed out of the bedroom during this discussion because he said basically I'm too moody, I need to get a grip.

Here it is two days later and have not heard from him during the day as we normally would-I moved into my daughters room who is away at college. This has been the 4th time the past few months that I have moved down there for one reason or another.

I know I am jumping around, I apologize. Our marriage has always been a stormy one.

I guess I'm looking for something normal about our relationship or is this the worst marriage ever and should I run like the wind?

Thanks for listening.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

You should set up weekly meetings where the two of you discuss what is wrong with the marriage, and what is right with it. Vow to not raise your voice or criticize, only state your feelings. Try to reach solutions. And promise to keep such comments out of the rest of the week and save it for that night.

What do you mean by clingy?


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## on again-off again wife (Mar 25, 2010)

Clingy?? I guess it was his attempt to bring me out of the "bummed" mood, he was trying to make me laugh. He was hugging me as I was sitting on a bed, and got shoulder in my face. I didn't appreciate it.


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## on again-off again wife (Mar 25, 2010)

Clingy?? I mean he tried to hug while I was sitting -I received a shoulder in my face and didn't appreciate it.

It seems we always fight over the stupidist little insignificant stuff. Not sure how to make it better.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

The only thing you have control over is yourself.

It sounds to me like YOU have just as much of an issue as HE does. 

Go to marriagebuilders.com and print out the Love Buster questionnaire, two copies. Ask him to fill it out, promise him you won't get mad at him for telling the truth - warning: do NOT get mad at him for telling you the truth!

Let him tell you in the questionnaire what he doesn't like about you. You can do the same and give him yours. Then step back and do some thinking about why you do the things you do to upset your spouse.

Once you acknowledge what you do, make a vow to STOP doing those things.

You want a better husband? Learn how to be a better wife. Then he will WANT to be better for you.


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## on again-off again wife (Mar 25, 2010)

Thanks for the suggestion...

It just seems like the petty issues never get resolved even after agreeing not to do them. Believe me nothing gets swept under the rug here...it seems the mistake I would make he complain about-I work on, then he does it to me. It's like always a tit-for-tat thing always. Paybacks, you know.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

So be the bigger person and STOP doing it.

Go to marriagebuilders.com and read up about how to have a healthy marriage. The number one key rule? YOU be the person to make the first move and stop the tit-for-tat, no matter if he deserves it or not. It took me two years to learn that over there, but I finally stopped griping about him, and did what they told me...it worked! As soon as I stopped being part of the problem, he turned right around and changed for me, because I was no longer making HIM miserable. It really does work.


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## bestplayer (Jan 23, 2010)

on again-off again wife said:


> Thanks for the suggestion...
> 
> It just seems like the petty issues never get resolved even after agreeing not to do them. Believe me nothing gets swept under the rug here...it seems the mistake I would make he complain about-I work on, then he does it to me. It's like always a tit-for-tat thing always. Paybacks, you know.


I think the first thing u should ask ur self if u love him ?
if love isn't there nothing will get better . only u can answer that .

best of luck


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