# The final push?



## Changeiscoming99 (Jul 30, 2017)

Hi. I'm new. I've been married for 17 years. Its nearing the end. Trust me when I say that I sincerely feel exhausted from the effort I've put in trying to save this marriage when I cant even remember the last time it was happy. I'm sure in his mind he thinks hes trying too - but its the usual thing you read about - I think I'm talking, he thinks I'm blaming and attacking, and round and round it goes and nothing of value really happens. I. Am. Completely. Exhausted. We have 3 main issues we are dealing with - a trust issue - no cheating, but enough lying and secrecy that you can make an analogy to cheating with a co-worker and he is not going give it up. An issue that I never consulted him on big decisions - buying a dog, a new car, etc. Also fixable. And, of course, there's a money issue - I controlled it. We got separate accounts (I make make good money - 120k a year to his 70K - and I work twice as hard for it) and are in the process of deciding how to split things like kid expenses (we have teens) and food, and all those things that arent house expenses like mortgage, utilities, cable, phone, insurance, cars, etc. Here's the thing...he has some clue that I have been completely destructive with credit cards. But he has no idea how destructive. Like to the tune where I hate looking and its probably 50k in credit card debt. I want to give him all the information - hoping that it pushes him over the edge and he finally leaves this house thats a prison with both of us in it. And thoughts on that strategy?


----------



## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

Bring out all the bills and sit down with him. Show him everything and when the dust is settled, tell him you want out. He is going to be angry but mostly he will blamed himself for not seeing. He will blame you for being so careless and putting your family in danger. 

This will be your opportunity to tell him you want out and will be 100% responsible for the.debt. 

Good luck


----------

