# My wife's affair. This sucks



## side wayz

I came here when I first found out about the affair. I just decided to post in here now because I need help. First of I work full time go to school full time and I was interning but that ended. Any way my wife of 4 years... She is 25 is having an affair. I found out through a letter she was going to give the OM while at the doctor's office getting my 6 year old her kindergarten shots. Any way I found out she was doing this with a co-worker at her work when she closed on Tuesday's. her mother was with the kids at our house and I was in school. Well I left when I found out she called the police to say I stole her car but then got arrested for a domestic. I didn't hit her actually just shoved her to get off me because she was hitting me. Well any way I went back after. 3 days just happy my wife still loved me. So I'm there and just very suspicious the whole time. Doing all the wrong things snooping in phone her Facebook. Well after Halloween we separated and I was still going to her house in the morning taking her to work then be with the kids until the baby sitter came on Mondays. Then Tuesday I would go to work for 4 hours only because she started at 12pm. Well basically she was having her cake and eating it to. This past Sunday I found she was dating him. Then I started the 180. She blew up my phone Monday night then she texted me if I was watching the girls ( I have 3). I said just drop them off at my moms house which is where I live. She said no then I left it at that. She called me Tuesday morning to say my baby which is 1 was saying dada all morning and thought kit would be nice to hear my voice. I didn't reply. At 9am I texted her and ask may i speak with our older child. She didn't let me. She was trying to argue with me but I didn't cave in. I want to do this 180 for me and get my self esteem back and confidence. But I also want her back. I made mistakes in the past I did I apologized for it. I know my actions speak louder than words. Any advice?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shaggy

Exposé the affair at her work and to friends and family.

It sounds like you've kept her cheating a secret and just ran off to escape her.

Exposé it.


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## side wayz

Man... I posted it in Facebook when I found out. I actually called yesterday to there corporate office and said I was an anonymously employee. But I think she can get fired from it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## walkonmars

> Well any way I went back after. 3 days just happy my wife still loved me.


*This is a huge mistake on your part. 
She's cheating - actively dating another man. Having mind-blowing sex with him. 

What do you get? You get charged with auto-theft; domestic violence; you also get to baby sit the kids (who she holds hostage until you approve of her life-style). Does this sound right to you? Any of it. Because friend you are looking at things "side-wayz" and she knows it. 

*




> Well any way I went back after. 3 days just happy my wife still loved me.


*
This is another huge mistake on your part. 
. *



> I came here when I first found out about the affair. I just decided to post in here now because I need help. First of I work full time go to school full time and I was interning but that ended. Any way my wife of 4 years... She is 25 is having an affair. I found out through a letter she was going to give the OM while at the doctor's office getting my 6 year old her kindergarten shots. Any way I found out she was doing this with a co-worker at her work when she closed on Tuesday's.


*
Is the OM married?
How long has the affair been going on?
Does she offer any 'excuses' ? (you know - reasons why IT'S YOUR FAULT)*



> her mother was with the kids at our house and I was in school. Well I left when I found out she called the police to say I stole her car but then got arrested for a domestic. I didn't hit her actually just shoved her to get off me because she was hitting me.


* 

NEVER EVER lay a finger on her again. If she starts wailing on you - walk or run away.* 



> Doing all the wrong things snooping in phone her Facebook.


*
Who in the world raised you? THIS is wrong? what's right? giving her a permission slip?!*



> with me but I didn't cave in. I want to do this 180 for me and get my self esteem back and confidence. But I also want her back. I made mistakes in the past I did I apologized for it. I know my actions speak louder than words. Any advice?


*
Unless you cheated on her in the past - there is no excuse - and even if you did - two wrongs .... etc. *


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## Shaggy

What about the OM, does he have a wife or gf? Exposure there is a must.


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## keko

side wayz said:


> Man... I posted it in Facebook when I found out. I actually called yesterday to there corporate office and said I was an anonymously employee. But I think she can get fired from it.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


What do you value more. The marriage or her work?


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## My_2nd_Rodeo

side wayz said:


> I came here when I first found out about the affair. I just decided to post in here now because I need help. First of I work full time go to school full time and I was interning but that ended. Any way my wife of 4 years... She is 25 is having an affair. I found out through a letter she was going to give the OM while at the doctor's office getting my 6 year old her kindergarten shots. Any way I found out she was doing this with a co-worker at her work when she closed on Tuesday's. her mother was with the kids at our house and I was in school. * Well I left when I found out she called the police to say I stole her car but then got arrested for a domestic. I didn't hit her actually just shoved her to get off me because she was hitting me.* Well any way I went back after. 3 days just happy my wife still loved me. So I'm there and just very suspicious the whole time. *Doing all the wrong things snooping in phone her Facebook. *Well after Halloween we separated and I was still going to her house in the morning taking her to work then be with the kids until the baby sitter came on Mondays. Then Tuesday I would go to work for 4 hours only because she started at 12pm. Well basically she was having her cake and eating it to. This past Sunday I found she was dating him. Then I started the 180. She blew up my phone Monday night then she texted me if I was watching the girls ( I have 3). I said just drop them off at my moms house which is where I live. She said no then I left it at that. She called me Tuesday morning to say my baby which is 1 was saying dada all morning and thought kit would be nice to hear my voice. I didn't reply. At 9am I texted her and ask may i speak with our older child. She didn't let me. She was trying to argue with me but I didn't cave in. I want to do this 180 for me and get my self esteem back and confidence. But I also want her back. I made mistakes in the past I did I apologized for it. I know my actions speak louder than words. Any advice?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I know all about the type of spouse that wants to escalate to violence. Walk away, a man will always get blamed when in doubt. Plus you have a lot of KISA wannabe type cops out there.

snooping is the RIGHT thing. BS's have instincts for a reason. Plus, you only snooped because you love her - your intentions were fine.

Based on her age and the fact that she has had kids so early... She may be really immature and trying to live the glorified single life.


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## side wayz

He has a girlfriend and a kid on the way! I'm like wtf.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## My_2nd_Rodeo

side wayz said:


> He has a girlfriend and a kid on the way! I'm like wtf.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


By definition, a cheater suspends morals. They don't care who they hurt. 

BTW you must tell the girlfriend. For many reasons ( a lot of posts here on why). Don't warn her or the om that you are going to expose them... Don't


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## side wayz

Currently she makes way more money than me and we lived in a nice that we rented plus car payments on one car. If she loses that job she loses the house the car and she has to move back in with her parents with 3 kids. But her rent check just bounced it was 12 hundred but also still owed the landlord $200. The landlord called me and I apologized for it. I also said I don't live there so u have to talk to her. Which she never talked to landlord ever. We do have separate bank accounts so the check came from her name.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## side wayz

I don't know his girlfriend at all don't know what she looks likes. My wife showed me a picture of her. I guess I can check
Facebook
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shaggy

You need to call the OM gf ASAP. Exposing him to his gf is the very best way to end the affair. He will throw your wife under the bus to save himself.

Do not mention this to your wife or anyone. Just contact the gf and tell her about the affair, give her your number and tell her she can call you anytime she wants to talk.

Then sit back and wait for your wife to get dumped.


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## Tony55

side wayz said:


> I made mistakes in the past I did I apologized for it. I know my actions speak louder than words. Any advice?



How old are you?
What were the mistakes you made in the past?
Why would she let you get arrested if you didn't hit her?

T


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## Shaggy

It sounds like she lives with him. Find him on spokeo and pipl.


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## side wayz

I'm 27
They happened in the past
She didn't press charges the cops did cuz of scratch on her breast
I have no idea who is girlfriend is. 
She does work at Petsmart but a different one
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Toffer

Get a small recorder and keep it on you at all times whenever you're with your wife. That way if she starts anything physical with you, you'll have it on tape for when the cops show up

You could also use your cell to record too if it can


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## Tony55

side wayz said:


> They happened in the past


Right, the mistakes happened in the past, but did they happen while you were married? What kind of mistakes? Infidelity? Abuse? What?

T


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## side wayz

It happened be fore we were married. No infedelity no way. I lied about money and I wanted to go out with my friends. I use to be a jerk. But I did change. I showed her she loved it. I gave my friends up and almost my family up for her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## side wayz

During the early stages of our marriage like the first 2 years. But I changed when her sister got her kids taken away and me and my wife got them. We 5 kids at that time. 3 of her sister and 2 were mine and I didn't work at the time so took care of all them while she worked.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shaggy

It sounds like she liked you as a bad boy, then you got nice gutted by her and now she's cheating with a bad boy who's outrunning around on his gf and kid.


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## side wayz

How can I find his girlfriend.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## warlock07

Here is the plan for you.

First thing: Find the girl friend of this guy and tell her that he is cheating on her.


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## warlock07

side wayz said:


> How can I find his girlfriend.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Do you know her name ? Do you have access to her facebook ?


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## side wayz

No not at all my wife told me 2 months ago but totally forgot it
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## warlock07

Do you have OM's address ? Find it. they probably live together.


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## walkonmars

If you know the OM find his address and see who lives there. It's probably the gf and her baby.


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## side wayz

There is no way to get his address from him. But my wife gave me his number I contacted him and told him to stay away and he wanted to fight me. U guys want his number?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## walkonmars

reverse phone lookup if it's a land line

you can also try this:
http://www.publicdata.com/


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## warlock07

side wayz said:


> There is no way to get his address from him. But my wife gave me his number I contacted him and told him to stay away and he wanted to fight me. U guys want his number?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Good enough..You can trace his address. Check if this works(I did not use it before)

Telephone Number IDentification

And what a dumbass. He wants to fight ? Guys like him deserve a good trashing. But don't do it.


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## side wayz

No I won't fight him
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## side wayz

She just called me from work I didn't pick up. She texted and said leave my mom out if our issues she will not be answering your calls anymore. All because I called her mom to talk to my kids.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Tony55

side wayz said:


> It happened be fore we were married. No infedelity no way. I lied about money and I wanted to go out with my friends. I use to be a jerk. But I did change. I showed her she loved it. I gave my friends up and almost my family up for her.


Ok, I just wanted to get the basics out of the way. Sometimes a poster will throw out something like their infidelity 20 pages into a thread. So, no cheating, no abuse. 

*Man, you're in a bad spot.*

You mentioned you want her back, I can understand that, but unfortunately you're best shot at doing that is by acting like you don't want to do that. In other words, the more you act like she's irrelevant, the more you'll get her attention. You mentioned the 180 so you know what I'm talking about.

Here's the thing SW, you need to fully understand what's taking place here, she's into another guy, period. You can expose, and do all these other tricks, and that's fine, these people have good advice, but at the end of the day, you want her, to be "into" you, not out of desperation, but because she really wants you.

Starting right now, you need to completely get your sh1t together. Kids, work, education, bills, food, all this comes before her, she needs to be way down on your list right now. If it was me, I wouldn't interact with her or anyone else in her family, you're a man, you don't need them, you have your family, be the best dad and provider you can be for them. Do that, and your wife will come back, and if she doesn't, then she wasn't going to come back anyway.

*Buck up man. Gather your thoughts, no crazy sh1t, focus.*

T


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## the guy

Keep in mind your wife is about to lose everything becuase of her choices, so just becuase you call her mom to talk to the kids, in her mind the world is falling apart around her so she will blame every one except her self.

Your wife is not the women you fell in love with, the game has changed so expect the unexpected, she is graping at anything she can so making you look like a villian is all she has left. Even though alls you wanted to do is talk to the kids.

You will see a whole different women until she hits rock bottom, then you will see a women that will say anything to get her plan B back and that plan B is you.


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## the guy

In my opinion, your wife is the new boyfriend problem now.


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## side wayz

@the guy and @tony. U 2 are awesome. Thank u so much. I am doing the 180...so far I see her bad side coming out little by little. And it's been 2 days! Im doing ok on not answering her calls and only texting her short answers usually an ok. I'm not really believing what she is saying either.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## keko

Yea 180 is the way to go. It's going to be extremely tough to constantly do the 180 but if you can keep it up it'll do you much good on the long run.


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## theroad

side wayz said:


> Man... I posted it in Facebook when I found out. I actually called yesterday to there corporate office and said I was an anonymously employee. But I think she can get fired from it.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Corps don't respond to anonymous tips when it concerns affairs.


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## side wayz

She texted me this morning sayin she is deeply sorry for the hurt she caused me and she misses me I'm her best friend and wants to talk and prays that I come around. Why don't I believe her. I haven't said anything yet. She knows I get paid tomorrow. I think I'm not going to respond.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JCD

side wayz said:


> She texted me this morning sayin she is deeply sorry for the hurt she caused me and she misses me I'm her best friend and wants to talk and prays that I come around. Why don't I believe her. I haven't said anything yet. She knows I get paid tomorrow. I think I'm not going to respond.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Cash the check. Don't deposit it. Or make an immediate withdrawal.


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## Plan 9 from OS

side wayz said:


> She texted me this morning sayin she is deeply sorry for the hurt she caused me and she misses me I'm her best friend and wants to talk and prays that I come around. Why don't I believe her. I haven't said anything yet. She knows I get paid tomorrow. I think I'm not going to respond.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


What she is saying is probably true. It's just that she redefined the relationship to make you a very good friend. Also, bear in mind that the situation is fluid and that she may be going through a whole slew of emotions and may start to feel romantic love for you again. However, at this juncture you are a best friend that she lost contact with.


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## My_2nd_Rodeo

side wayz said:


> She texted me this morning sayin she is deeply sorry for the hurt she caused me and she misses me I'm her best friend and wants to talk and prays that I come around. _Posted via Mobile Device_


Is she sorry for the affair? 

Is she ashamed of cheating? 

Is she mortified that she would screw over another OM's woman + kid? 

Is she still fooling around with the OM?

On a separate note, does she often contact you in the morning vs afternoon/evening? It seems like, based on your posts, that she does this mostly... also, are they different in duration & nature... just want some clarification.


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## Tony55

side wayz said:


> She texted me this morning sayin she is deeply sorry for the hurt she caused me and she misses me I'm her best friend and wants to talk and prays that I come around. Why don't I believe her. I haven't said anything yet. She knows I get paid tomorrow. I think I'm not going to respond.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


If you were truly "180", you wouldn't care.

T


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## side wayz

She texts or calls through out the day at any time. I don't know what she is sorry for. I still haven't responded. I'm content right now. I hope the ball is in my court because I'm not running back right now. I'm not doing that again. I use to do that all the time. I still need to get my emotions check.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Tony55

side wayz said:


> She texts or calls through out the day at any time. I don't know what she is sorry for. I still haven't responded. I'm content right now. I hope the ball is in my court because I'm not running back right now. I'm not doing that again. I use to do that all the time. I still need to get my emotions check.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


As long as you don't respond, the ball is in your court.


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## cledus_snow

> She texted me this morning sayin she is deeply sorry for the hurt she caused me and she misses me I'm her best friend and wants to talk and prays that I come around.


she's softening you up again, dude. she doesn't want you to expose.

_DO NOT FALL FOR IT!!!_ 

you f*cked up initially by coming back and rugsweeping the thing. look where it got you. she needs to feel some consequences at this point. sounds like she wants you to come back and rugsweep once more.


follow this POS home one day and find out where he lives. get all the info you can and forward it to this woman. 


seriously, you sound like a nice guy but you can't cave right now. if you want your marriage back, you need to play hardball here....."take no prisoners" attitude.


EXPOSE! EXPOSE! EXPOSE!


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## side wayz

New stuff... Well I filed for divorce she got served I'm going to try and get maintenance pay. Well 2 days later I got served with an order of protection. A week before Christmas. Well this morning I get a text from a number I nvever seen giving me updates on my children. Then it said "we miss you". What is that even mean. Is it my wife putting that for the kids or is she including herself. Well now it's been atleast 2 weeks of straight up no contact because I just lost all trust with her. I still love her but It is getting a little easier everyday.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jim123

Why the OP. That is no small deal and can bring other problems


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## side wayz

This isn't the first time she got an op... She did it 5 years ago. It said a bunch of lies in there but she is a woman and of course they favor the woman. I'm not a threat at all to her or my children. I married a crazy girl. I accepted it. Me and her starting dating when I was 16 then broke up got back together a year later. Then broke up. Got back together 3 years later. I can write a whole book on our relationship that's been basically going on for 12 years.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TDSC60

Getting served with an OP is not something to play around with. If the order says stay away - then do it. If the order says don't communicate - then don't.

Comply fully with the requirements spelled out. Beware of her trying to set you up to violate the order. 

"Oh lets meet at some fast food place so you can see the kids"

Don't.


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## side wayz

No way I am not messin with the law. I mission was as soon as I got served was to basically to be a ghost. I'm not going to cool county jail. Hell no in smarter than that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jim123

have your attorney deal with it. it is important you do so. if false it can be removed she will pay a price for doing so. OP's can cause you other problems if anything happens.


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## AngryandUsed

Stay focussed on the 180. Don't budge even for a second. Tony said it earlier.


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## side wayz

180 all the way. I can't believe I'm doing it. Been doing now for 2 or 3 weeks. I joined a gym and that just makes me feel better. And I do notice the ladies staring at me. But I'm jus focusing on me, getting my life on track.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ThreeStrikes

You're doing great Side Wayz. Just continue on until the D is final.

In your state, how long does the process take?


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## RClawson

Hang in there SW you are just a bit closer to getting further away from your life in Crazytown. I was actually happy when I saw you had filed. I thought you were going to wallow in misery and pine for her for at least a few more months.


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## tom67

Were you able to contact the om gf?


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## side wayz

Nope not at all. At this point I don't care about her. It's over for me and wife, for now but I k ow her like the back of my hand and she will be back. But I pray this time I can laugh at her. Because this isn't the first time she did this to me. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## side wayz

ThreeStrikes said:


> You're doing great Side Wayz. Just continue on until the D is final.
> 
> In your state, how long does the process take?


I'm in Chicago, Illinois. I don't know how long it'll take
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jim123

What did you attorney say.


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## BjornFree

side_wayz do you have kids?

If not divorce her without a second thought. She's not ready for a long term commitment.

Apologies for not reading the entire thread.


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## side wayz

It will be all under control.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## side wayz

I have 3 kids. All girls 6 and under.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jim123

I know a very good Chicago attorney if you need.


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## warlock07

side wayz said:


> Nope not at all. At this point I don't care about her. It's over for me and wife, for now but I k ow her like the back of my hand and she will be back. But I pray this time I can laugh at her. Because this isn't the first time she did this to me.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Don't ignore your kids.

Has she cheated before?


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## side wayz

She has 4 years ago. I won't ignore the kids but there names are on the op. I can't even call my daughters school to see how she is doing in school. Iv had conversations with get teacher and she knew me and my wife were separated, I was just concerned how my daughter was. The teacher said greatly appreciated my call and will pay closer attention to her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## life101

I honestly don't understand why people get married if they cannot maintain the most important demand of a marriage: loyalty. Even a dog understands the meaning of loyalty, a cheating spouse doesn't. What does it say about them?


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## side wayz

Happy New Years everyone. I hope you all enjoyed it. I sure did. It was my first time in 7 years where I got to go to a party and enjoy myself. But. Some new stuff happened today. My called me from a blocked number, I thought it was my friend because he has been calling me from a blocked number because he is in some serious s#!t. But I picked up and talked to her and made her think I'm doing fantastic. I won't however pick up the phone For a blocked again until after the first court date.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## walkonmars

What did she want to talk about? 
Or was it more of a rant?

Are you having second thoughts? 

Do you have support from friends/family?


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## side wayz

She wanted to see how I was doing. Not rant at all. Yes I got a great support from family and friends. They have my back and know what I have been through with her. Second thoughts. Naw. I want my fathers rights. I need my kids and if we ever do get back together she can't hol my kids from me ever again
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## walkonmars

Great frame of mind. Keep your babies welfare in mind first and foremost. You can always find another woman. A good and loyal woman. But the babies will always be yours.


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## Pault

Well done on thr phone call issue.... Keeping the other party in the dark about the effects of their betrail and disloyalty is good stance. If they see a positive upbeat person the game plan starts to turn 180 and they start to worry WHY your so "ok" with life and even get to think that you have something up your sleeve that will effect them and their affair. ITs even better if they are strting to see grass isnt as green. WELL DONE


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## the guy

You need to get a lawyer and fight that OP, it doesn't look good to sit down and take it, it looks like you are excepting the OP and I think you need to at least have it documented that you are fighting the OP cuz its not warrented.

The judge will want to know about the OP and why you didn't fight it.


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## side wayz

I have a lawyer. It's all under control. Well it better be for the money in spending on this guy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## side wayz

Just found out my wife moved the OM in... That hurts. How can she do that to our kids that she claims she loves so much...I couldn't sleep last night knowing he is in there. I'm going to try and get off the lease today. She still has the order of protection in me and court is tomorrow. All I want is to see my kids and hug and kiss all 3 of my little girls. I don't know if u can handle this pain right now. Can I get any advice.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ThreeStrikes

You'll handle it because you have to.

Be strong, and keep the long term goal in sight. 

Court is tomorrow? That's good news. I hope things go in your favor.

Stop worrying or caring about your STBXW. You don't want her anymore anyways! Who cares if she's with OM? 

Steel yourself. Be indifferent to her actions. Focus on you, and getting through this legal process so you can see your kids.


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## walkonmars

Tell your lawyer the OM has moved into your home. He may have some information on the ramifications of that move. There may be a way to wrangle the kids from the home based on that. 

But don't do it if it's done out of spite and you're not capable of caring for them. See if your lawyer thinks his presence contributes to the delinquency of a minor based on his earlier threat at violence toward you.


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## mahike

What ever you do tomorrow keep your cool and look and act like a Dad putting his kids first. Make sure your lawyer is up to speed on everything.

Let us all know how you it goes. Make sure you have a friend there for support you will need it.


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## side wayz

Yes I will keep cool and be the proud father that I am. I have my parents going and my sister going. You guys have been awesome... I have a great support system with friends and family. And actually I have been hanging out wit my stbxw best friends and they do not support her decision at all and they are on my side.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## side wayz

Well court sucked for the op, but divorce court is on the 30th. This past Sunday I got to see my kids for the first time in 6 weeks!! My mother in law dropped them off and picked them up. But it was a fantastic day and going to be a fantastic week. But my stbxw had something up her sleeve. In order for me to see them again I basically have to help her with the bills, the rent and groceries. While her boyfriend is living. So I'm going to say this LOL. I laughed and talked to the boyfriends pregnant fiancé...yes she is pregnant with his daughter and she is due feb 8th. She said he is not there at all for her don't take her to dr appointments and all the stuff a dead beat does. Then my stbxw has te nerve to call me a dead beat. Well I laugh at that. I laugh at that knowing I'm going to be graduating school in march and bettering myself and am glad I don't have to share it with her!!! Everyone here has outstanding and I will keep u all posted
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jasel

.


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## side wayz

Where in cook county do u live? I'm in Lagrange..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jasel

I'll PM you. Don't want to give out too much info on the net


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## side wayz

Well I have a question regarding my ex wife... Yesterday I sent her a text wishing her succes in life. She replied I'm very successful and happy... Then I replied I'm glad your happy. Finally I'm happy and I forgot how that felt thank you for cheating. She sent a text back and I was assuming she would say I'm glad you happy also. But no it said"I bet...being single with no kids is what u always wanted...I'm glad your not tied down anymore and get to live out your early 20s just like you always wanted!" So...is she mad or happy?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## walkonmars

Mad. F*ock her.


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## side wayz

Why is she mad that in happy then?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## 3putt

side wayz said:


> Why is she mad that in happy then?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Because, even though she won't admit it, things are turning out better for you than her. This is typically the norm. It's impossible to find true happiness when you sacrifice your morals, marital vows, and integrity in search of it.

I believe she may now be starting to come to that realization, and it's only gonna get worse for her because she is now running out of people and circumstances to blame. It always comes back to the face in the mirror.

Oh well....


----------



## side wayz

3putt said:


> Because, even though she won't admit it, things are turning out better for you than her. This is typically the norm. It's impossible to find true happiness when you sacrifice your morals, marital vows, and integrity in search of it.
> 
> I believe she may now be starting to come to that realization, and it's only gonna get worse for her because she is now running out of people and circumstances to blame. It always comes back to the face in the mirror.
> 
> Oh well....


Really? I never thought of that. And yes I'm graduating soon just got a radio podcast going. And everything seems to be looking brighter for me. And I truly am happy. I know my daughters love me and they know there my life. I'm actually waking up saying life is good.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## the guy

You should have responded " you would have lost that bet" 


I think she is sad, how could anyone be happy now that they lost their doormat....their security blanket, their baby sitter.

Now she has to go thru the trouble to train a new guy that just might be untrainable.

She lost you bro...it is a freaking loss no matter how she spines it!


----------



## MattMatt

side wayz said:


> Well court sucked for the op, but divorce court is on the 30th. This past Sunday I got to see my kids for the first time in 6 weeks!! My mother in law dropped them off and picked them up. But it was a fantastic day and going to be a fantastic week. But my stbxw had something up her sleeve. In order for me to see them again I basically have to help her with the bills, the rent and groceries. While her boyfriend is living. So I'm going to say this LOL. I laughed and talked to the boyfriends pregnant fiancé...yes she is pregnant with his daughter and she is due feb 8th. She said he is not there at all for her don't take her to dr appointments and all the stuff a dead beat does. Then my stbxw has te nerve to call me a dead beat. Well I laugh at that. I laugh at that knowing I'm going to be graduating school in march and bettering myself and am glad I don't have to share it with her!!! Everyone here has outstanding and I will keep u all posted
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


This is a long shot, but how would it be if YOU (and another person to cover your back against any accusations!) took his girl friend to appointments, etc? That would so play with their minds...


----------



## side wayz

My buddy told me that last night. He said just ask and her and see what she says. I guess great minds do think alike
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## 3putt

side wayz said:


> Really? I never thought of that. And yes I'm graduating soon just got a radio podcast going. And everything seems to be looking brighter for me. And I truly am happy. I know my daughters love me and they know there my life. *I'm actually waking up saying life is good.*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Which begs the question:

_What is she waking up to each day and saying to herself?_

The chickens always come home to roost.

Hang in there. You'll come out of this with a new respect for yourself, and a lot to look forward to in life with your integrity intact. If it were me, I would MUCH rather be in your shoes than hers. 

Oh, wait, wut...I have been in your shoes....twice, so just trust me on this one.


----------



## side wayz

I gotcha. I know I will come out on top.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## tom67

MattMatt said:


> This is a long shot, but how would it be if YOU (and another person to cover your back against any accusations!) took his girl friend to appointments, etc? That would so play with their minds...


Matt you are the man!:lol:


----------



## theroad

side wayz said:


> I sent her a text wishing her succes in life. She replied I'm very successful and happy... Then I replied I'm glad your happy. Finally I'm happy and I forgot how that felt thank you for cheating. She sent a text back
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Why do you insist on starting fights by throwing zingers at WW?

Grow up.

It is always better to be the bigger man so always take the high road.

Remember when throwing mud do not complain when mud gets thrown back at you.


----------



## side wayz

Really dude?! She threw she basically threw a tree at me. All I said was thank you 2 her. All she could have said was I'm glad your happy also.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## hookares

Get a paternity test for all three kids.
As far as her having you arrested, she did it to get the upper hand for when the law sharks start picking your bones. Mine did the same thing the day she handed me my walking papers.
You just drew a skunk when you got with her in the first place.


----------



## tom67

Good idea DNA test the kids please.


----------



## side wayz

No they are for sure mine. I know for a fact. If their not whats the difference I will always love them.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## hookares

side wayz said:


> No they are for sure mine. I know for a fact. If their not whats the difference I will always love them.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Uuuuuh, OK, then. Never mind.:scratchhead:


----------



## tom67

side wayz said:


> No they are for sure mine. I know for a fact. If their not whats the difference I will always love them.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You need to know for future medical reasons with them that's all of course you will be their dad.


----------



## ArmyofJuan

side wayz said:


> Why is she mad that in happy then?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


She’s not actually happy herself; she is putting on a front. 

She is going to continue to blame you for everything for a while, you “forced” her to have an affair because you failed as a husband and she’s stuck with the OM because she has needs someone to help her blah blah blah. The OM moving in marks the beginning of the end of her fantasy and her relationship with the OM, she doesn't realize it yet. I suspect her life is going into the toilet now.

She asked for this, this is all her fault and she only has herself to blame. She had other options and chose this one so now she has to live with the consequences. Dollars to donuts her life sucks but she won’t let you know that, her pride will keep her from admitting she a made a huge mistake.


----------



## side wayz

Of course she won't admit it. She is telling me I'm messing with the kids and I tell her drop them off at my house since Ashe has the car and I don't. But she won't unless I give her money. Lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## MattMatt

side wayz said:


> No they are for sure mine. I know for a fact. If their not whats the difference I will always love them.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I bet you thought the DNA tests was to test your children's DNA, right?

Well, sometimes that's wrong!

Because what the DNA tests is your wife's thought processes and her ability to be a cheater. 

"I am having our children DNA tested" sends a very clear and possibly painful message to a wayward wife: "Wife, I love our children very much. But please be aware that by your cheating, lies and deception you have shaken my fundamental trust in you so much that, although it pains me to even consider this, I have to question if you were ever faithful to me at all at any time in our marriage. And this mistrust in me is all your fault and entirely of your doing."

It shows your wife that her cheating has unexpected and painful consequences. Especially if mention of the fact that the DNA tests were to leak out.

"I really feel sorry for side. You know, he even had to have their kid's DNA tested, his trust in her is so shattered?"


----------



## OldWolf57

You are the bigger man dude. Hell, even if you was to kiss her a** some would say you are petty.

Me, I couldn't give a damn about being the bigger man.
And I wonder how my Choctaw relatives would have survived being the bigger men.


----------



## Kallan Pavithran

MattMatt said:


> I bet you thought the DNA tests was to test your children's DNA, right?
> 
> Well, sometimes that's wrong!
> 
> Because what the DNA tests is your wife's thought processes and her ability to be a cheater.
> 
> *"I am having our children DNA tested" sends a very clear and possibly painful message to a wayward wife: "Wife, I love our children very much. But please be aware that by your cheating, lies and deception you have shaken my fundamental trust in you so much that, although it pains me to even consider this, I have to question if you were ever faithful to me at all at any time in our marriage. And this mistrust in me is all your fault and entirely of your doing."*
> 
> It shows your wife that her cheating has unexpected and painful consequences. Especially if mention of the fact that the DNA tests were to leak out.
> 
> "I really feel sorry for side. You know, he even had to have their kid's DNA tested, his trust in her is so shattered?"



:iagree::iagree::iagree:


----------



## side wayz

New developments...well she wants me back. I don't know what to do...I do love her and want my children to have both parents. I was just with her today. She told me loved me more than. Anything. That she's sorry. I said well...we will have. A lot I work to do... Counseling,church, and I need to think about it. Then she dropped the bomb. She's pregnant. Well damn. She wants to give the baby up for adoption. I said it's not the baby's fault at all. It's your fault for being stupid. But I told her give me time to think about this. Damn I don't know what to think. I just got back from the gym to blow off steam. I'm just going to put my focus on school. And think if I can even try this. Not just for me but for my kids. Any advice.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## turnera

She only wants you back because she's fallen, now. 

Make her EARN her way back to you. Kids stay with you, she lives on her own for a year, you both attend IC AND regular MC and, at the end of 2013, you will consider whether to take her back.


----------



## tom67

Take your time your head is spinning right now, understandable. She has to earn your trust back through actions not words. Tell her you will need time to think about it.


----------



## tom67

So obviously the baby won't be yours then? I'll bet when she told bf he went running.


----------



## tom67

Wow om fiance has a baby on the way now wife may be pregnant with his kid? I honestly don't know what to say. Go out with some good friends tonight if you can. I wish you luck.


----------



## rrrbbbttt

1. THINK!!!!
2. She is not remorseful and is using use as the fallback because she is now living in the S**T Heep she built and she sees no Way Out.

Please stop and take a breath and write down the Pros and Cons of trying to Reconcile with her.

Will she stop Cheating?
Has she come to grips with what she has done to you and the family?
Is she going to do the Heavy Lifting necessary to rebuild the marriage?
Do not commit to anything until you have the answers to the above.


----------



## JCD

side wayz said:


> New developments...well she wants me back. I don't know what to do...I do love her and want my children to have both parents. I was just with her today. She told me loved me more than. Anything. That she's sorry. I* said well...we will have. A lot I work to do... Counseling,church, and I need to think about it. *Then she dropped the bomb. She's pregnant. Well damn. She wants to give the baby up for adoption. I said it's not the baby's fault at all. It's your fault for being stupid. But I told her give me time to think about this. Damn I don't know what to think. I just got back from the gym to blow off steam. I'm just going to put my focus on school. And think if I can even try this. Not just for me but for my kids. Any advice.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


So essentially you said 'yes'.

Sir...you deserve to be shat upon. She had you ARRESTED. She HIT you. She tried to get you locked up for DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.

These things stain your record FOREVER. What next? Accusing you of sexually molesting the kids?

Now she is saddled with two kids and a scumlord OM who doesn't take care of his children, she comes to you.

And you said yes. Not that you'd think about it. The first thing you said was 'we have a lot of work to do.'.

Ask her to not wear high heels when she wipes her feet on you since they sting. But don't forget to say please.

Really? This is your answer?


----------



## Shadow_Nirvana

Okay, she is pregnant ... from him?!

Seriously man, wtf. How the hell do you even think about getting back with this woman? Tell her to screw herself and be gone. This is the most emasculating thing that can happen to somebody. Will you be able to look at your (i hope soon-to-be-ex) wife's face while she is pregnant with another man's child and not feel disgust?

She doesn't want you back as her lover, as her husband, as her one and only. She wants you back as a provider and a slave. Don't fall into this trap. RUN, and don't look back.

And for the love of GOD, tell the OM's gf, if you haven't already. She deserves to know, man. Don't be so cruel, for ****'s sake.


----------



## tom67

JCD said:


> So essentially you said 'yes'.
> 
> Sir...you deserve to be shat upon. She had you ARRESTED. She HIT you. She tried to get you locked up for DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.
> 
> These things stain your record FOREVER. What next? Accusing you of sexually molesting the kids?
> 
> Now she is saddled with two kids and a scumlord OM who doesn't take care of his children, she comes to you.
> 
> And you said yes. Not that you'd think about it. The first thing you said was 'we have a lot of work to do.'.
> 
> Ask her to not wear high heels when she wipes her feet on you since they sting. But don't forget to say please.
> 
> Really? This is your answer?


All of the above plus I'm not raising someone else's kid but that's just me.


----------



## JCD

I am wondering if this is a troll post.


----------



## tom67

JB?


----------



## HappyHubby

Seriously, Don't do it!!! She's toxic. Like others already said, she made false accusations against you, cheated on you and is pregnant with another mans baby. WOW.

What else are you willing to accept? 

If you reconcile you will NOT respect yourself. You couldn't possibly. Deep down you'd always feel like a chump. You know it's true. At least wait until the divorce goes through, she has a baby, sets up custody arrangements with BF, lives as a single parent, does intensive IC and shows real change through action and behaviour before you even consider it. soo basically wait at least a year and after the divorce goes through. Date her again after that if you wish but I highly doubt you'll even want to.


----------



## side wayz

You all right. I shouldn't even be thinking about this...they are both scum. Wtf I still do t trust her at all. It so hard to believe her. It just sucks shes pregnant with a guy that don't even take care of his own child...oh well. I'm not even going to worry about that right now divorce court is the 30th and then we will see what happenes. I mean they are both scum damn...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## tom67

side wayz said:


> You all right. I shouldn't even be thinking about this...they are both scum. Wtf I still do t trust her at all. It so hard to believe her. It just sucks shes pregnant with a guy that don't even take care of his own child...oh well. I'm not even going to worry about that right now divorce court is the 30th and then we will see what happenes. I mean they are both scum damn...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Make sure you document everything with your lawyer even if infidelity doesn't matter if a judge reads all this it may have an overall impact, just sayin.


----------



## Shadow_Nirvana

I forgot. Did the OP expose the affair to OM's gf?


----------



## tom67

Shadow_Nirvana said:


> I forgot. Did the OP expose the affair to OM's gf?


He did but now his wife is pregnant with om's kid.


----------



## tom67

Scumbag get's to support 2 kids good for him.


----------



## Shadow_Nirvana

tom67 said:


> He did but now his wife is pregnant with om's kid.


Aye, okay then. Everything's cool.:smthumbup:

But seriously, this is the worst aspect of an affair I think. She isn't having an abortion, I assume? I don't know if this is even an option to you or her.


----------



## side wayz

She told face to face
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## NaturalHeart

side wayz said:


> Well I have a question regarding my ex wife... Yesterday I sent her a text wishing her succes in life. She replied I'm very successful and happy... Then I replied I'm glad your happy. Finally I'm happy and I forgot how that felt thank you for cheating. She sent a text back and I was assuming she would say I'm glad you happy also. But no it said"I bet...being single with no kids is what u always wanted...I'm glad your not tied down anymore and get to live out your early 20s just like you always wanted!" So...is she mad or happy?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 
Mind games.... Dont fall for that. Keep doing what you're doing. Next time dont text her a damn thing less it is about the kids. She will suck you in like Hoover and have you feeling like crap. Dont give her any power.


----------



## MattMatt

side wayz said:


> New developments...well she wants me back. I don't know what to do...I do love her and want my children to have both parents. I was just with her today. She told me loved me more than. Anything. That she's sorry. I said well...we will have. A lot I work to do... Counseling,church, and I need to think about it. Then she dropped the bomb. She's pregnant. Well damn. She wants to give the baby up for adoption. I said it's not the baby's fault at all. It's your fault for being stupid. But I told her give me time to think about this. Damn I don't know what to think. I just got back from the gym to blow off steam. I'm just going to put my focus on school. And think if I can even try this. Not just for me but for my kids. Any advice.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Who is the father? You? The OM? Or is their another AP? After all, cheaters are well-named.

Looks like the OM kicked her out.

Why?


----------



## turnera

If you are still married, you need to talk to a lawyer pronto about whether YOU are going to be tagged to be financially responsible for this child once it's born.


----------



## MattMatt

NaturalHeart said:


> Mind games.... Dont fall for that. Keep doing what you're doing. Next time dont text her a damn thing less it is about the kids. She will suck you in like Hoover and have you feeling like crap. Dont give her any power.


It is blame shifting. "I only had the affair to give Side his freedom."


----------



## ScubaSteve61

turnera said:


> If you are still married, you need to talk to a lawyer pronto about whether YOU are going to be tagged to be financially responsible for this child once it's born.


:iagree:

You do NOT want saddled with someone else's bad choices.


----------



## NaturalHeart

side wayz said:


> You all right. I shouldn't even be thinking about this...they are both scum. Wtf I still do t trust her at all. It so hard to believe her. It just sucks shes pregnant with a guy that don't even take care of his own child...oh well. I'm not even going to worry about that right now divorce court is the 30th and then we will see what happenes. I mean they are both scum damn...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 
Sounds like you're trying to convince yourself. Have you been on a date, talked with any single women? Mingled? Try it. You dont have to committ just have conversations... I dont think you'd care one bit about her wanting you back or you giving in to her if you open up and make a move to being a little social.


----------



## tom67

Your lawyer should make sure once the baby is born to dna test so your name is not on the birth certificate.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## walkonmars

The OM bailed out on her. You can bet everything you have she would be happily knitting a baby blanket by his side with a smile if he had not bailed. 

And what will you do in 5 years when he returns and wants to bond with his kid? You're going to have to make room in your lives for him, and deal with her renewed emotions for that scum.


----------



## JCD

NaturalHeart said:


> Sounds like you're trying to convince yourself. Have you been on a date, talked with any single women? Mingled? Try it. You dont have to committ just have conversations... I dont think you'd care one bit about her wanting you back or you giving in to her if you open up and make a move to being a little social.


Staying with her a) gives his kids two parents, b) is easy sex without the difficulty of slowly building a new relationship albeit with 'damaged goods', and c) feeds into his martyr complex. "Oh aren't I saintly for taking up this fallen woman and her bastard child..."

They are in order of stupidity, least to most.


----------



## Tony55

side wayz said:


> Then she dropped the bomb.



She called the police to say I stole her car but then got arrested for a domestic
Shoved her to get off me because she was hitting me
This past Sunday I found she was dating him
2 days later I got served with an order of protection. A week before Christmas.
I married a crazy girl.
This isn't the first time she did this to me. 
Just found out my wife moved the OM in... That hurts.
She still has the order of protection on me
I'm actually waking up saying life is good.
She is telling me I'm messing with the kids and I tell her drop them off... ...But she won't unless I give her money
She wants me back. I don't know what to do
*She's pregnant*

Right when you think it couldn't get worse.

T


----------



## bfree

Tony55 said:


> She called the police to say I stole her car but then got arrested for a domestic
> Shoved her to get off me because she was hitting me
> This past Sunday I found she was dating him
> 2 days later I got served with an order of protection. A week before Christmas.
> I married a crazy girl.
> This isn't the first time she did this to me.
> Just found out my wife moved the OM in... That hurts.
> She still has the order of protection on me
> I'm actually waking up saying life is good.
> She is telling me I'm messing with the kids and I tell her drop them off... ...But she won't unless I give her money
> She wants me back. I don't know what to do
> *She's pregnant*
> 
> Right when you think it couldn't get worse.
> 
> T


I can't imagine after everything he's been through how he can possibly even consider taking her back. Guaranteed she'll be doing this again in the near future. Time to force her to live with the consequences of her poor decisions. Continue the divorce. After she has the kid and gives it up to adoption maybe you and she can date in a year or two. Of course by then I would hope you would have realized you can do better.


----------



## turnera

You ARE continuing with the divorce, right? You HAVE called your lawyer to tell him she's now pregnant with OC, right? You ARE documenting this in a spiral to show her slide into insanity, right?


----------



## tom67

Call your lawyer if not today first thing monday.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## side wayz

I am continuing with the divorce. I'm not worried about that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## hookares

side wayz said:


> I am continuing with the divorce. I'm not worried about that.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I won't bore you with my story, but you need to know that you never know when it comes to a cheater. If you weren't aware, all along that she was cheating, you really don't know ANYTHING.

Let me reiterate: Get the DNA tests!!
Unless you feel that you won't consider yourself to be more naive than you already seem to be should you later find out you aren' the daddy.


----------



## side wayz

Yeah. U guys give great advice. I am going through with divorce and I am getting paternity tests. It will all make me feel better
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## the guy

So her new pitch is she loves you more.

Lets see how serious this new pitch is as you head down the path for divorce....will she be the mother the kids diserve, a better person for her sel and do the heavy lift for her self in the hopes you will notice?

Or...

will she say phuck it .....your still divorcing and what does it matter, I'll continue on my current path and throw my self a pitty party as I go out with my fiend, ignore my kids and try to find a new guy that will have me?


See if there is a difference in her mind set that will dictate your withdrawal of this divore versus continuing on your current path?

Continue your current path and see how much she *really* want her family. I bet she throws her self a little pity party and gets laid by some strange before she starts showing! I bet she doesn't have the muscles to do the heavy lifting to own her sh1t and work on her self for her kids. 

IDK, will she step up to the plate or say screw it who cares?


----------



## OldWolf57

Look man, you need a new life.

Just read Tony's last post. Look at how many different ways she has shown you how MUCH she REALLY LOVES you over the years.
Especially recently. 
She loves you so much, she won't even let you see the kids without trying to blackmail you.

So I ask, where is the love, and remorse ???

I'm also glad to see you are finally realizing you really don't know this woman at all.
If she's done this before, you damn well better get those DNA test.


----------



## tom67

Sidewayz the whole thing sux but do want to find out when the kids are in their 20s that you are not the bio father of any of them? Good luck with whatever you decide.


----------



## side wayz

I understand the paternity tests. I do...this whole situation does suck. But I gotta focus on me and my kids and that's what I'm going to do.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## tom67

side wayz said:


> I understand the paternity tests. I do...this whole situation does suck. But I gotta focus on me and my kids and that's what I'm going to do.
> _ http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/a...ndmark-court-case-awards-25K-bereavement.html_


----------



## hookares

tom67 said:


> side wayz said:
> 
> 
> 
> I understand the paternity tests. I do...this whole situation does suck. But I gotta focus on me and my kids and that's what I'm going to do.
> _ Husband tricked into believing wife's children were his own appears on This Morning as landmark court case awards him £25K for 'bereavement' | Mail Online_
> 
> 
> 
> _
> 
> This story isn't likely over. Wait until the kids find out that their mother was pulling trains and doesn't have a clue who their fathers are._
Click to expand...


----------



## Shaggy

If she is contacting you then she is invalidating the order of protection.

Have your lawyer bring that to the judge and declare she used his court to get you out of the way so she could cheat, and now she is knocked up with OMs kid.

The judge will not be amused at being used by her like that, nor will he be happy with her attorney. Both may get cited by him for contempt.

As for the OM, see about bringing a personal damages suit agsinst him for the damages the new kid will inflict financially on you and the current kids. You might get some real money out of him.


----------



## side wayz

Yes I am going to do that
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Kallan Pavithran

side wayz said:


> New developments...well she wants me back. I don't know what to do...I do love her and want my children to have both parents. I was just with her today. *She told me loved me more than. Anything. *That she's sorry. I said well...we will have. A lot I work to do... Counseling,church, and I need to think about it. *Then she dropped the bomb. She's pregnant.* Well damn. *She wants to give the baby up for adoption. * I said it's not the baby's fault at all. It's your fault for being stupid. But I told her give me time to think about this. Damn I don't know what to think. I just got back from the gym to blow off steam. I'm just going to put my focus on school. And think if I can even try this. Not just for me but for my kids. Any advice.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_




Why she is treating you like a sh1t, Its not the way a women treat a MAN. There is really something wrong in you (Pls Dont take this as offensive) which allowed her to treat you like a POS not as a man with dignity and self respect. Get some IC for yourself first.

Your confusion about D her is really shocking. Are you going to be the best step dad? Then its good, you will have to be a good step dad to many children coming in future.

Keep her a mile away from you,She is a parasite.
you need not be scared to see other women all along.



http://www.itv.com/thismorning/life/raising-another-mans-children/


----------



## side wayz

Well she is crazy...now she wants to reconcile out marriage but layer down the road. I'm not cool with reconciling our marriage at all... She is getting mad cuz I don't support the kids but she has been giving them to me every weekend. But she also complains to me about her rent her bills and how her car is going to be taken away... i told her this is what u wanted...but she calls me an a$$hole when I tell her that. She still has the op and So do you think she is happy and she is 8 weeks pregnant...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SaltInWound

side wayz said:


> Well she is crazy...now she wants to reconcile out marriage but layer down the road. I'm not cool with reconciling our marriage at all... She is getting mad cuz I don't support the kids but she has been giving them to me every weekend. But she also complains to me about her rent her bills and how her car is going to be taken away... i told her this is what u wanted...but she calls me an a$$hole when I tell her that. She still has the op and So do you think she is happy and she is 8 weeks pregnant...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Wow, I am speechless.


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## tom67

I hope like Shaggy said the judge will not be happy giving that bogus ro on you and you can get that removed from the record and that she faces some consequences for this. You are right she is a bat sh!t crazy serial cheater. Go find a nice lady who will respect you, you deserve it.


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## ScubaSteve61

Shaggy said:


> If she is contacting you then she is invalidating the order of protection.
> 
> Have your lawyer bring that to the judge and declare she used his court to get you out of the way so she could cheat, and now she is knocked up with OMs kid.
> 
> The judge will not be amused at being used by her like that, nor will he be happy with her attorney. Both may get cited by him for contempt.
> 
> As for the OM, see about bringing a personal damages suit agsinst him for the damages the new kid will inflict financially on you and the current kids. You might get some real money out of him.


:iagree:

Get on the phone with your lawyer... ASAP.


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## bfree

side wayz said:


> Well she is crazy...now she wants to reconcile out marriage but layer down the road. I'm not cool with reconciling our marriage at all... She is getting mad cuz I don't support the kids but she has been giving them to me every weekend. But she also complains to me about her rent her bills and how her car is going to be taken away... i told her this is what u wanted...but she calls me an a$$hole when I tell her that. She still has the op and So do you think she is happy and she is 8 weeks pregnant...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


She is not right in the head. Why would you want to be with her in any capacity now that she is going to have another man's child? I agree with the other posters. Put as much distance emotionally as you can and let your lawyer handle this for you. Just be a good father to your children and let her words hang in the air and roll off your back.


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## carmen ohio

side wayz said:


> Well she is crazy...now she wants to reconcile out marriage but layer down the road. I'm not cool with reconciling our marriage at all... She is getting mad cuz I don't support the kids but she has been giving them to me every weekend. But she also complains to me about her rent her bills and how her car is going to be taken away... i told her this is what u wanted...but she calls me an a$$hole when I tell her that. She still has the op and So do you think she is happy and she is 8 weeks pregnant...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Run, don't walk, away from this woman. And, as ScubaSteve61 says, talk to your lawyer immediately.


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## side wayz

Hey guys. Well Im not officially divorced yet. I get my little girls every weekend. It's amazing. I pay her $75 a week for babysitters. Which is bs. She made $50 grand last year I made $16 grand. It doesn't make sense I'm Practically broke after I pay her. But right now I miss my family. My daughter asked me "daddy when you come home are you still going to like spicy food?" I had no idea how to answer that. I just feel lonely and worthless right now. I just want to go home!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JustSomeGuyWho

side wayz said:


> Hey guys. Well Im not officially divorced yet. I get my little girls every weekend. It's amazing. I pay her $75 a week for babysitters. Which is bs. She made $50 grand last year I made $16 grand. It doesn't make sense I'm Practically broke after I pay her. But right now I miss my family. My daughter asked me "daddy when you come home are you still going to like spicy food?" I had no idea how to answer that. I just feel lonely and worthless right now. I just want to go home!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I understand missing the family. Make the most of the time you have with your girls. When I was separated, I had my girls at least one day every weekend, often both days and Wednesday night. I was able to turn that into some of the best times with them. It wasn't enough though not getting to see them every day ... that broke my heart ... but I also knew that being in the same home with my wife was less healthy for them at that time. "Daddy, when you come home are you still going to like spicy food?" ... that is both cute as all get out ... and incredibly heartbreaking at the same time.


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## the guy

So whats keeping you from going home? Has your old lady moved the OM in already? Is there a court order that prevents you from going home?

If it was my chick that was crewing around, I'd make damb sure she left, but thatsjust me each case is differnet.

Aren't you afraid your old lady will label you as the one the left the marital home. It seems you are the one that abandoned the marriage? Please don't tell me you already filled a change of address?

Until the divorce, if you are not back in the house...you are screwed!


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## side wayz

She kicked me out got a restraining order on me moved the OM in. The restraining order was dropped two weeks ago.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## the guy

is the house in your name, both names, or what?

Is it a lease?


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## the guy

So now that the RO is lifted, why not hang out with the kids at your home?

Nother puts a strain an affair/relationship like having the husband hanging out and being around his wife!!!


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## side wayz

It's a lease and it's in both of our names.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## the guy

side wayz said:


> I just want to go home!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


If you play your crads right this time you might beable to go back home. So why in the hell haven't you got a lawyer?

How many time has the OM touched your kids?


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## Shaggy

Go to the judge and declare the wide has used his court to move you out so her OM can move in. Further state the OM has threatened you if you go near your kids and home. 

RO against IOM and maybe contempt of court for wife
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## the guy

side wayz said:


> It's a lease and it's in both of our names.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Well my friend it appears you have a tresspasser in your home, and what are you going to do about it?


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## the guy

Shaggy said:


> Go to the judge and declare the wide has used his court to move you out so her OM can move in. Further state the OM has threatened you if you go near your kids and home.
> 
> RO against IOM and maybe contempt of court for wife
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


OP has all kinds of options. This is clearly a slam dunk. It just takes resources and drive to get what you want to protect your kids from being smacked around by a mothers boyfriend or even worse climbing into bed with one of his kids while mom is at work or a GNO finding a new guy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## the guy

Shaggy said:


> Go to the judge and declare the wide has used his court to move you out so her OM can move in. Further state the OM has threatened you if you go near your kids and home.
> 
> RO against IOM and maybe contempt of court for wife
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


What pisses me off is OP could have worked this angle a while ago but didn't. 

Maybe I missed something?


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## the guy

the guy said:


> OP has all kinds of options. This is clearly a slam dunk. It just takes resources and drive to get what you want to protect your kids from being smacked around by a mothers boyfriend or even worse climbing into bed with one of his kids while mom is at work or a GNO finding a new guy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Please point out the mention of "finding a new guy" she already mentioned a R with you, so you can figure on her fantasy is not all that, now that it is a day to day routine and the affair is no longer a taboo, exciting secret, but rather just the same crap with a different guy.

And you know what thats fine, if that chick wants to roll that way but when it involves kids....it just rubs me the wrong way!! 

This b1tch is going to bring man after man into there lifes and all OP has is the week ends.........phuck that!


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## turnera

Shaggy said:


> Go to the judge and declare the wide has used his court to move you out so her OM can move in. Further state the OM has threatened you if you go near your kids and home.
> 
> RO against IOM and maybe contempt of court for wife
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 Agreed.


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## Kallan Pavithran

the guy said:


> OP has all kinds of options. This is clearly a slam dunk. It just takes resources and drive to get what you want to protect your kids from being smacked around by a mothers boyfriend or even worse climbing into bed with one of his kids while mom is at work or a GNO finding a new guy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


:iagree:


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## jim123

You need a new lawyer. You are getting killed and you should not be


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## side wayz

Hey everyone. Wow been a couple of weeks since I posted here but alot has happened. First off I GRADUATE Friday!!! What a relief it feels good to accomplish that. My feelings for my soon to be ex are diminishing a little each day. It feels good. I met a woman and ever since the day me and this other woman hung out... It's been not stop texting all day everyday. For 2 weeks straight. She texts me every morning saying" good morning sunshine". Life seems to be getting back on track for me. My life is looking brighter. And my children are doing great. I'm starting to love life again. But living with my parents is driving me crazy a little bit. But with out them I wouldn't have nothing. Guys have a great day. Ill keep u guys posted
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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