# So....A Little Weird



## Lord Summerisle (May 23, 2013)

Sorry to make my first post on this forum a little bizarre. 

I've tried researching the answer to my question before asking, to see if anybody else has experienced something similar but I keep ending up on these weird forum threads where some guy seems to be trying to goad people into making fun of his smaller penis.

So, quick background. I've been married 5 years and so far so good. We both have medium sex drives, usually 2-3 times a week and I feel like it has been pretty good  I am less than endowed in the male equipment area, my unfortunate nickname on my college water polo team was "Light Switch" (stupid lycra speedo holds no secrets) so I've had enough humiliation in that regard to last a lifetime. 

I have always been pretty secure, and determined early on to try and just learn to use what I had the best I could. But for the last couple of months she has started doing something weird. She has started with this "dirty talk" during sex where she starts saying things like "You are so hung!" "I just love how big you are" "you are such a big man" 

So, what the hell? This is just out of the blue and obviously far from the truth so why would she say that? Is she trying some how boost my self esteem? Is she just acting out some kind of fantasy of her own do you think? If this is her fantasy is it something I should be worried about? I'm not really sure how to react or if I even should.


----------



## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

Does it turn you on more when she says it? Maybe you get harder and more engorged and it is more pleasing to her? Maybe she realizes you are a bit insecure about it, or she thinks you are and is trying to make you feel better? Also, maybe she has done some research to spice up your sex life, and one of the very first things a woman will read is to make your man feel like he is the best you have ever had in every way, long, hard, passionate, you name it??? 
Or maybe she is acting out a fantasy... but you can play what if all day long. I think it's time you ask her.


----------



## Lord Summerisle (May 23, 2013)

livelaughlovenow - now that you mention it, it is a pretty big turn on at the time (though that contradicts what I've always said about being so secure with being on the small side) so maybe some kind of weird subconscious caveman fantasy about being bigger is being triggered in the back of my mind and we are both using a bit of imagination and having a good time? Thanks for response.


----------



## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

Anytime... if it turns you on, then it makes you harder and feels better to her.... and that is why she keeps repeating it. Be thankful


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

You're going to have to ask her why she is saying it.

And probably it will cause a nice conversation between you two, that maybe then you can glean some information about her sexuality from. Make it fun.


----------



## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Lord Summerisle said:


> Sorry to make my first post on this forum a little bizarre.
> 
> I've tried researching the answer to my question before asking, to see if anybody else has experienced something similar but I keep ending up on these weird forum threads where some guy seems to be trying to goad people into making fun of his smaller penis.
> 
> ...


Are you really a light switch?


----------



## Lord Summerisle (May 23, 2013)

I'm afraid I am a bit of light switch. I like to round it up to 4 inches  but like I said I don't want to this to generate into one of those penis humiliation threads I've been coming across all day. This was more just a question about what she is thinking and wanting and not so much about me.

livelaughlovenow - so she like magician. just by saying it is bigger and harder it magically becomes so. Her wish is my command LOL

Faithful Wife - You are probably righ,t a conversation is probably in order and that would appear to be the best way to go. The thing is that other than this recent dirty talk during sex we NEVER actually discuss sex, it just sort of happens and its good so I don't want to ask anything to make either of us uncomfortable or cause any kind of stress. I'll have to think of a way to bring it up.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Lord...I hope you find when you do find the way to discuss it, that many more discussions happen afterward.

People with great sex lives often openly communicate about sex! Not a coincidence.


----------



## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Lord Summerisle said:


> I'm afraid I am a bit of light switch. I like to round it up to 4 inches  but like I said I don't want to this to generate into one of those penis humiliation threads I've been coming across all day. This was more just a question about what she is thinking and wanting and not so much about me.
> 
> livelaughlovenow - so she like magician. just by saying it is bigger and harder it magically becomes so. Her wish is my command LOL
> 
> Faithful Wife - You are probably righ,t a conversation is probably in order and that would appear to be the best way to go. The thing is that other than this recent dirty talk during sex we NEVER actually discuss sex, it just sort of happens and its good so I don't want to ask anything to make either of us uncomfortable or cause any kind of stress. I'll have to think of a way to bring it up.


She might say it because it makes HER feel better.


----------



## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

Sounds like you have a sexual caring wife. My wife compared me to the OM one time. I never forgot it.


----------



## Lord Summerisle (May 23, 2013)

Yes she just might. I suppose its more fun for her to use her imagination and pretend than it would be to yell out "size doesn't matter to me" during sex.

After reading some of the other threads on this forum I feel silly even posting this thread. So many people out there with so many truly heartbreaking troubles and serious concerns and I'm on here complaining that my wife is saying that I am more endowed than I really am.


----------



## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

Lord Summerisle said:


> Yes she just might. I suppose its more fun for her to use her imagination and pretend than it would be to yell out "size doesn't matter to me" during sex.
> 
> After reading some of the other threads on this forum I feel silly even posting this thread. So many people out there with so many truly heartbreaking troubles and serious concerns and I'm on here complaining that my wife is saying that I am more endowed than I really am.


Better something simple, than letting it fester into something terrible right?


----------



## lovemylife (Feb 13, 2012)

Something else to consider. Just as all men are of different sizes and shapes, so are women. You may be the ideal fit for her and a man of longer length would not be a good fit.

As long as she loves it and you do too, all is good. 

PIV is not how most women are able to O. Being a great lover is way better than a big p*nis, trust me on this!


----------



## Lord Summerisle (May 23, 2013)

yeah, I don't think any woman I have ever been with has ever had an O via PIV with me so I've through the years I've learned a few additional techniques. I sadly don't last very long with PIV either so I try to always make sure she has hers first.


----------



## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

How is it when she gives you oral sex?


----------



## Lord Summerisle (May 23, 2013)

She actually doesn't perform oral sex anymore. She would if I asked her to do it but she just isn't that into it and makes it kind of awkward to be on the receiving end if you feel like it is a chore. A couple of girls I was with in college indicated that the fact that I was smaller actually made oral more enjoyable to perform so who knows.


----------



## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

Lord Summerisle said:


> She actually doesn't perform oral sex anymore. She would if I asked her to do it but she just isn't that into it and makes it kind of awkward to be on the receiving end if you feel like it is a chore. A couple of girls I was with in college indicated that the fact that I was smaller actually made oral more enjoyable to perform so who knows.


I would think from your prospective it would be awesome!


----------



## Lord Summerisle (May 23, 2013)

yeah for sure, I've enjoyed it in the past and I wouldn't complain if it was on the menu but since its not I've just learned to focus on other things and not worry about it.


----------



## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

I think your wife is building your confidence in a loving, sexy way. I would roll with it and be thankful. She clearly cares about you.


----------



## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

It good to see someone like you here. Most guys like you would never answer questions in your position. I for one appreciate it.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Yeah...roll with it...but still talk about it. Find out why the sudden introduction of these words. You might find out even more about her sexually, which a husband should want to do.


----------



## Lord Summerisle (May 23, 2013)

I agree a conversation is for sure in order, I'll let you guys know how it goes. I am going to shoot for Sunday night. I'll grill up a Salmon (her favorite) and after a couple of glass of wine I'll see what if I can ease us into the conversation. 

You all have been a big help at putting things in the proper perspective. I think I just had this sudden minor panic that she was wishing for something a little more substantial in the bedroom and my deeply buried "small man syndrome" began to emerge.


----------



## talin (Apr 25, 2012)

She used to give you oral, now she doesn't, you've got a really small penis and she says wow you're so big.

I'm thinking she's just being cruel because she's starting to resent the fact that you've got a small penis.


----------



## Lord Summerisle (May 23, 2013)

ouch Talin, I hope you are incorrect and that's not the case but I guess I'll find out Sunday night. Like I said she will perform oral if I ask her to but I don't ask her because I know that it isn't something she enjoys so I don't ask her to. 

I don't think 4" erect is really THAT small is it? It seems like I read that most men are around 5" or something like that.


----------



## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

Lord Summerisle said:


> ouch Talin, I hope you are incorrect and that's not the case but I guess I'll find out Sunday night. Like I said she will perform oral if I ask her to but I don't ask her because I know that it isn't something she enjoys so I don't ask her to.
> 
> I don't think 4" erect is really THAT small is it? It seems like I read that most men are around 5" or something like that.


Naa. Your good.


----------



## oddball (Sep 5, 2012)

Most men are around 5" Except on TAM where everyone is apparently 7" or more.

Im 4.5" My wife has never complained. None of my previous partners ever complained. 

And I am the perfect size for anal


----------



## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

I thinmk your wife is trying to build you up... And that's it.. And questioning her about it will make you look insecure.


----------



## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

Hicks said:


> I thinmk your wife is trying to build you up... And that's it.. And questioning her about it will make you look insecure.


:iagree::iagree::iagree:


----------



## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

This would get on my nerves as well OP.

I'd discuss it with her
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## GettingIt_2 (Apr 12, 2013)

Lord Summerisle said:


> I agree a conversation is for sure in order, I'll let you guys know how it goes. I am going to shoot for Sunday night. I'll grill up a Salmon (her favorite) and after a couple of glass of wine I'll see what if I can ease us into the conversation.
> 
> You all have been a big help at putting things in the proper perspective. I think I just had this sudden minor panic that she was wishing for something a little more substantial in the bedroom and my deeply buried "small man syndrome" began to emerge.



As far as quality of sexual turn ons go:
Importance of size of a guy's penis--meh
Importance of gestures like making my favorite meal and having a meaningful conversation about the relationship--ding ding ding ding ding!!!!


----------



## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

Lord Summerisle said:


> I agree a conversation is for sure in order, I'll let you guys know how it goes. I am going to shoot for Sunday night. I'll grill up a Salmon (her favorite) and after a couple of glass of wine I'll see what if I can ease us into the conversation.
> 
> You all have been a big help at putting things in the proper perspective. I think I just had this sudden minor panic that she was wishing for something a little more substantial in the bedroom and my deeply buried "small man syndrome" began to emerge.


I'd preface any conversation with letting her know that you like it... it's not a negative, and you want her to keep doing it etc.... but, you're just curious as to....


----------



## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Lord Summerisle said:


> I'm afraid I am a bit of light switch. I like to round it up to 4 inches  but like I said I don't want to this to generate into one of those penis humiliation threads I've been coming across all day. This was more just a question about what she is thinking and wanting and not so much about me.
> 
> livelaughlovenow - so she like magician. just by saying it is bigger and harder it magically becomes so. Her wish is my command LOL
> 
> Faithful Wife - You are probably righ,t a conversation is probably in order and that would appear to be the best way to go. The thing is that other than this recent dirty talk during sex we NEVER actually discuss sex, it just sort of happens and its good so I don't want to ask anything to make either of us uncomfortable or cause any kind of stress. I'll have to think of a way to bring it up.


The light switch thing is pure BS....Just tell them in the right company light switch becomes coke can....

To be perfectly honest I will fit the light switch description when flaccid, but hit "Average" right on the button when aroused, and quite a bit over average in girth.....It has always been MORE than enough in what I consider a spectacular sex life....


the woodchuck


----------



## Lord Summerisle (May 23, 2013)

Woodchuck - Right on. To be clear though sex has been pretty damn good over the years, I've learned to make to most of things and haven't had any complaints. It was just weird that my wife (who by the way played on the women's water polo team and was well aware of the "light switch" reputation before we even went on our first date) has suddenly taken to pretending that I have this huge member when we are having sex. 

My question is if she is doing it as some kind of fantasy role playing thing like she has some inner repressed size queen or if she is saying it because she thinks I want/need to here it. So far most people seem to think she is doing it for my sake and trying to make me feel like more of a man or something.

Some think we should have conversation about and others say to leave it alone. Especially since I kind of enjoy hearing it (I know pathetic but I can't control my brain in the regard )


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

There's no way to know without asking her...but really, I don't think she would say it out loud if what she was really thinking was "I wish he was different than he is!"

I hope that makes sense?

She wouldn't say anything if she wasn't happy with the way things are.


----------



## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

I can imagine nothing that would destroy my sex drive more than finding out I wasn't adequate in some way for my wife.

Remember the tale of Pandora's box...

And, as was said of Unknown territory ages ago: "here, there be monsters"


----------



## Work-In-Progress (May 21, 2013)

If it were me, and she seems genuine, I would leave it alone and not question it. It sounds like you feel you have a pretty good sex life, so why mess with it? What happens if you ask, and she tells you she's doing it for your self esteem? Then you are going to always be thinking about it during sex, and that can make things even worse. I've learned sex can easily be ruined by metal blocks like this. Just enjoy the dirty talk.


----------



## Lord Summerisle (May 23, 2013)

Faithful Wife - Maybe I am giving it to her so good that she doesn't even realize she is saying out loud? Haha

Everyone else - Thanks so much for the positive adult advice. One always wonders what kind of nonsense will come out of the woodwork on online forums but everyone has been great. I think I am going to leave it alone and not pursue it with her specifically but instead try to just open a more general dialogue but as Work-In-Progress said I don't want to think or talk it to death and ruin a good thing.

I was hoping some married women would come forward who had done or experienced something similar and could explain it but it will just have to be a mystery.


----------



## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

Work-In-Progress said:


> If it were me, and she seems genuine, I would leave it alone and not question it. It sounds like you feel you have a pretty good sex life, so why mess with it? What happens if you ask, and she tells you she's doing it for your self esteem? Then you are going to always be thinking about it during sex, and that can make things even worse. I've learned sex can easily be ruined by metal blocks like this. Just enjoy the dirty talk.


BINGO....Exactly:iagree:

If it isn't broke....don't try to fix it. If you question her, she will be self conscious about saying it in the future, and you changed a good thing.


----------



## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

humanbecoming said:


> I can imagine nothing that would destroy my sex drive more than finding out I wasn't adequate in some way for my wife.
> 
> Remember the tale of Pandora's box...
> 
> And, as was said of Unknown territory ages ago: "here, there be monsters"


What are you trying to say?


----------



## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

I'm with Work and Notice 

Lord your sex life with your wife seems intuitive and unselfconscious. I wonder if by talking about this with her that you might break the spell so to speak. 

You have a good sex life even after the honeymoon period. You are both obviously satisfied or you would not be having sex so frequently. And finally, your sex drives match well. 

You can always talk to her but if you introduce sexual self-consciousness into the mix you can never undo it. 

You both created an environment where this woman loves you and feels safe and secure enough to say anything that comes into her head. By bringing this to her, will she see an insecure man? 

She sees you as a secure man in charge of your universe. That is what makes you big. Ugly, fat and old men have it - makes them handsome, trim and young and very attractive. 

You are sure of yourself and what you have to offer. Thats what she sees, Is it neccessary to share this rather minor blip with her now?


----------



## Lord Summerisle (May 23, 2013)

Very well put Catherine. I certainly don't want to jinx anything. So if she is playing through some kind of fantasy or whatever I will just play along. At least she isn't asking me to climb through the window in a Zorro costume or anything :smthumbup:


----------



## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Lord Summerisle said:


> Very well put Catherine. I certainly don't want to jinx anything. So if she is playing through some kind of fantasy or whatever I will just play along. At least she isn't asking me to climb through the window in a Zorro costume or anything :smthumbup:


If it's working for you guys, be quiet!


----------



## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Lord Summerisle said:


> Very well put Catherine. I certainly don't want to jinx anything. So if she is playing through some kind of fantasy or whatever I will just play along. At least she isn't asking me to climb through the window in a Zorro costume or anything :smthumbup:


Not yet. 

. I can tell from the way you shared your history that you are a confident man with a resilient sense of your value. 

I think your wife looks around and thinks of how lucky she is to have a man like you in her life. I don't think she is trying to boost you confidence, you don't seem to need it. That how she sees you, you loom large.

Don't say anything right now or maybe ever. Keep in mind the way she sees you and put away those childish taunts. Those guys are probably not doing as well as you are.


----------

