# Seperated now and totally confused about girl



## 2betex (May 16, 2012)

Well, to make this story short. I was shocked by my former wife when she asked for a speration months ago. Then a friend who was having a bad time in another state was callingme every 10 to 14 days in extreme life duress. Now she is living with me and I have not idea of how this happened nor why we chose to keep in contact. She say we are just friends as we talk about everything she is going through, presently she is ot working, has an ex husband who harasses her about her kids. (customdy battle) Do not ge tme wrong she is not costing me much money. Just a bit more for the food bill and hell I was paying rent any how.. 

She does not trust anyone and has very low confidence right now, when she is depressed I can get her refocused and pointing in the right direction.. We talk for hours and never have a disagreement. I have knwon her for over 1.5 years and adore her. Although at one time she said the same but now who knows. I would really like to make it more biut I have no idea of how to change this. 

btw... She is 15 years younger and I was married for over 20 years., She knows my ex and and still is here, she could leave anytime to live with her family but chooses to stay with me. 

Am I just being naieve or is there hope. Plenty of folks know my situation and most say it will take time and only two say I am crazy... Am I? I am really a good guy, not broke, she has never had someone who treats as an equal and her kids like me. (14 year old girl and 13 year old boy) ... 

I have no idea of what to d in this scenerio, as I never had to deal with this situation before, I am totally confused and in disarray... Can I get opinions, and ideas or feedback?


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## BFGuru (Jan 28, 2013)

I'm not sure how long ago "months" means, and I do not know your back story, but she definitely sounds like she needs to do some self healing before getting in a relationship again. Are you sure she does not regard you as a father figure with the age gap and that is why she is so open with you?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

How long has she been "living" with you, and what does that mean, exactly? Living with you as a roommate, or living with you as a girlfriend? As in, are you two bumping uglies?

If she's living with you as a roommate, I would guess that you've been friend-zoned. Breaking out of that will be tough, if that's what you'd like to do. Maybe start spending less time at home, start seeing other women, etc. Let her see you as a desirable guy. 

Btw, how long have YOU been separated? Maybe think about clearing up that situation before you start complicating things, especially if you've got issues after your wife initiated the separation.

C


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## 2betex (May 16, 2012)

BFGuru said:


> I'm not sure how long ago "months" means, and I do not know your back story, but she definitely sounds like she needs to do some self healing before getting in a relationship again. Are you sure she does not regard you as a father figure with the age gap and that is why she is so open with you?


We leagally seperated last year around October... From a historicalperpective we had been done for a long lng time we played the happy couple for over 5 years.. We had constantly talked about leaving each other in the past. I asked for a divorce over 5 years ago, then proceeeded to go to counseling. both Marriage and independant.. Multiple times.

She has been burned real bad. In trhe past I get that.. She talks about leaving, then she stays here.. She spends time with her family on some weekends and the comes back.. She tells me to date and it woul dmake her more comforatable as in the past I had shown interest... However, she did also.. She claims not to remember this conversation but I know she does, as she has back pedaled when we talked about it. As I told her only time will tell....


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## 2betex (May 16, 2012)

PBear said:


> How long has she been "living" with you, and what does that mean, exactly? Living with you as a roommate, or living with you as a girlfriend? As in, are you two bumping uglies?
> 
> If she's living with you as a roommate, I would guess that you've been friend-zoned. Breaking out of that will be tough, if that's what you'd like to do. Maybe start spending less time at home, start seeing other women, etc. Let her see you as a desirable guy.
> 
> ...


She is living in with me, as a roomate. I would like more but I can not date right now anyhow, neither can she, we both have some personal challenges to deal with... I leagally became sperated last October. However it has been a long time since my ex and I got along.. Played the happy couple but at home really different. 

Ine thing confuses me is the "we" thing all the time, we will do that, we should do this... May friend zoned or not, I believe she cares as she chellenges me all the time about our relationship. She say she woul dbe more comforatable if she moved back in with her family becuase at one point I did express interest in her.. But she asks if I will still see her if she leaves. 

Who knows what she thinks, I have no idea I am Nieve to al this and we have exactly the same goals in life and everything else seems complimentary..


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