# New Realization



## hurtnohio (Jul 17, 2011)

After reading many, many, MANY comments, after thinking and praying and processing, I've learned something about myself. My sense of weak boundaries in life has been because I've never really been sure of myself.

And the strangest manifestation of all this - besides the fact that I haven't stood up to my wife's outrageous behavior long ago - is that I have found myself on this board, constantly seeking validation for my decision.

That's not completely fair...I did originally come on this board to try to find resources to help my failing marriage. Most of you know my story by now.

But lately, since deciding to leave and seek a divorce, I have come here frequently seeking validation for that decision.

Needless to say, the feedback has been mixed. Some have said I need to stay and endure because of the personal growth opportunities provide. Some say stay and endure because God said so. Some have said run away like my ass is on fire. I have had to pick and sort my way through which opinions and which people I listen to. In the end, the result wasn't much different than the arguments I've been having with myself.

That ends now. I have made my decision. After much prayer, thought, and talks with friends and counselors, I came to the conclusion that it's better for my son to be FROM a broken home than to live IN one. While this is not the outcome I originally sought, I have now come to peace with it. Well, as much peace as you can come to about ending an 18-year marriage.

I will still post here from time to time to update everyone on what's going on with me. But I no longer wish to pour out every single little thought that I have and beg you all to respond. This board has been incredibly valuable to me, but I'm afraid I've become addicted to the "high" I receive from having random strangers validate my decision. This is not healthy, and it won't help my decision-making process.

So no more long, anguished rants about the tortured thoughts of my inner-most soul. I will reserve those for my counselor. 

The co-dependence ends today!


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## lulubelle (Jun 28, 2012)

(((HUGS))) you and your son will be in my prayers. i wish you nothing but the best, and i'm glad to see you have reached a decision that you feel at peace with. keep us updated, and know we will always be here for you.


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