# Holiday Parties and Dates



## EnjoliWoman

Granted I've been single longer than most of you. And I haven't actively been trying to meet someone. But I'm gonna whine anyway.

I don't have a date. I'm tired of never having a date. The first year I felt awkward and invited my roommate to come for a comfort level. Yeah, that started the rumor I was gay.

So, for many years no date. Then a couple years ago I took the male BFF who didn't want to get in the group photo which embarrassed me. (BTW he's still a male friend but I wouldn't consider us close any longer as and he's dating someone. You know hte "no OSF" rule.)

Last year we had a luncheon in the office. Whew. Now this year my boss is having a holiday party at his house which is very nice and in one of the best areas of town.

So even though it's right after work on a Friday, I'll be wearing something relatively cute (and down 57 pounds from last year), showing up at this lovely home, with an open bar and serving hors d'oeuvres, and I have no date. The majority of the 30 or some employees here are male and married. Three of us divorced women will have no dates. IT SUCKS.

The boss even asked me if I had a hot date. I said "maybe". 

Too late to meet someone that I would trust to mingle and meet co-workers since I really only have two weekends without kiddo between now and then. I wouldn't care if he were just a friend I'm just sick of never having an escort. CoGuy, you free 12/19?  

2014 was the year of the healthier me. I can run 1.5 miles consecutively now, BP back down to my normal range and down 3 sizes so I'm feeling good. 2015 will be the year I try to meet someone. 

I was hoping for a good New Year's bash but the meet up single over 40 group is a saaaaad bunch. A bunch of chubby frumpy women, a couple attractive ones, a handful of average guys. "The odds are never in your favor" (with Effie accent) So....Er, no. I think I'm going to find a charitable ball, dress to the 9s and attend on my own and reserve a hotel room to crash in after and mingle mingle mingle. I haven't had a kiss at midnight since I was married. Sadly enough I was dating a guy through the holidays ONCE but didn't get to spend New Year's with him.

OK, pity party and rant over. I will do something about it next year. Just have to get through this year.

Anyone else dread parties going solo?


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## Pluto2

Right there with you, girl.
I have friends, and go out with groups of people, but am the odd chair out. I have one male friend that I can do some things with, but I wouldn't call it dating,
Holiday parties are coming up and I'm not sure how many I handle.


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## Almostrecovered

will your dog allow you to dress him up?


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## Pluto2




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## EnjoliWoman

As much as I love my dog, I fancy human males.


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## Almostrecovered

it would dispel the lesbian gossip


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## EnjoliWoman

Well, that was 9 years ago. I think it's been dispelled. Probably the current line of thinking is that I'm simply asexual or not datable.


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## Pluto2

Almostrecovered said:


> it would dispel the lesbian gossip


You are a wicked turtle.


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## SamuraiJack

EnjoliWoman said:


> As much as I love my dog, I fancy human males.


Fly me down, I'll go!

I'll be loyal , always at your side, and look at you with adoring eyes...but you will have to let me hump your leg before bedtime...


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## Almostrecovered

play your cards right and you might even get a belly rub


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## SamuraiJack

Almostrecovered said:


> play your cards right and you might even get a belly rub


...and a twitchy leg?


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## Rowan

I just say to hell with it and go alone. Yes, it sucks. But, well, I'm single. And, having been married for nearly 20 years, I have no single male friends, nor any suitable male relatives, to act as an escort. So, I dress fabulously and show up with a good hostess gift, kisses all around, then mingle with all the married couples, while fending off slightly inappropriate hugs from the slightly inebriated old gentlemen of varying marital status. 

A friend and I signed up for a 5K charity pub crawl November 29th. Perhaps I'll round up a holiday party date there.


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## EnjoliWoman

No older gentleman where I work. I think the oldest is 50s and since I'm 46, it's not old to me! We don't really have a problem with drinking and inappropriate stuff going on here. Now, our national sales meeting - that's another story. 

Yes, I will show up and smile, mingle, chat and be charming as usual. I know how to work these things. Just venting about it.


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## Shooboomafoo

I swear, I am SOOO in the wrong location... The "meetup groups" are exactly as you describe, and leave me feeling extremely depressed. I am an outgoing person, and strike up a conversation with anyone, but it has been like a ghost town around here for the last 3 years. 
Holidays.... I am the "single dad" who attends friends' functions, and drives home by himself. When I have my daughter, she is fun and all, and we have a good time together, but I sorely miss ("miss".... did I ever have it to miss?), the romantic/involved companionship. 
I'm 43 and it is still extremely slim pickings around here. Single women I have met are single for a reason, and have no intentions of exclusivity. Seems like women in my age group have all just gotten over a shtty marriage, and have all these hangups about divorced men. Often times it just seems like it is more trouble than it is worth. especially after spending so much time in my life trying to make something work and losing; has me sorta skeptical and weary of the Chinese red army of flags that parade around as if they are looking for someone, only to fill their ego/attention deficit.

I hope you find someone though. Seem like a down to earth kinda gal, who would be a deeper kind of connection many wish they had.


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## EnjoliWoman

Thanks, shoo. I think I'm a good catch but admit I have limited time to put into weeding through them and have gone through assorted phases of caring and not during these last 10 years.

I'm sure everyone feels they are an exception to the rule but I'm really an odd mixed bag and it seems so many of the others on the scene are stereotypes so finding another odd mixed bag is tough.


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## 3Xnocharm

I find that I have no real issue being single until holidays roll around. Even ones like July 4th or Labor Day. It sucks to not have that SO to plan things with, to go and do things with. Right now I AM in a relationship, but its brand new, so we wont be doing the biggies together just yet, Thanksgiving and Christmas. (the whole, both have kids that we havent met yet, thing...) Often times I will go to events with my sister and her husband, and even though I am grateful to have something to do, I always feel like the ugly spinster sister, like people are looking at me wondering why I cant keep a man! So I empathize with you, Enjoli! Although your New Year's plan sounds like it could be fun on your own, you may meet someone fabulous!


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## Cooper

EnjoliWoman said:


> I'm sure everyone feels they are an exception to the rule but I'm really an odd mixed bag and it seems so many of the others on the scene are stereotypes so finding another odd mixed bag is tough.


Enjoli I'm about as abnormal as they come, so I can relate to your feelings. Once I even titled my dating profile "odd duck", lol 
It does suck to go alone to many functions, honestly I find myself turning down invitations that I know will be mostly couples. But we are who we are, some of us find life as a couple challenging, even when we want that life. Life would be much easier to be simple minded and care free, sigh. 

I think you still need to go to the parties though, every chance of social exposure puts you in a position to run into that other "mixed bag" person, he sure as heck isn't going to be the guy delivering pizza to your house on a Saturday night. Or is he?


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## EnjoliWoman

Not to sound judgmental but at my age I sure hope he isn't delivering pizza.

I will know everyone at this party as they are coworkers so no chance of meeting anyone but its is important to schmooze and ingratiate myself to the VP so I will. And I do actually like him and his wife as well as most of my coworkers and will enjoy seeing their spouses again. 

But the more I think about the New Year's singles events, the more I like my idea. If I find a charitable event that is for a cause I feel strongly about, I will be around like-minded people, doing something good AND having fun. And it's fine if I don't meet someone because the people I will meet might know someone or become a new good friend. I really don't see how it could turn out badly so might as well.


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## Almostrecovered

find a homeless man and clean him up and tell him there's free booze at the party

(just try to not get lice)


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## firebelly1

I sympathize Enjoli. Last year I took my 19 year old daughter to the company Christmas party with me. (18 is legal drinking age in Canada.) She was bored. This year I have a date (guy I met on Halloween) and I am ridiculously happy just not to be going solo. Although, I'm also happy he's someone I can trust to behave in public and that my coworkers will have some respect for (he's an EMS. I work in local government.)


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## bravenewworld

EnjoliWoman said:


> 2014 was the year of the healthier me. I can run 1.5 miles consecutively now, BP back down to my normal range and down 3 sizes so I'm feeling good. 2015 will be the year I try to meet someone.
> 
> I was hoping for a good New Year's bash but the meet up single over 40 group is a saaaaad bunch. A bunch of chubby frumpy women, a couple attractive ones, a handful of average guys. "The odds are never in your favor" (with Effie accent) So....Er, no. I think I'm going to find a charitable ball, dress to the 9s and attend on my own and reserve a hotel room to crash in after and mingle mingle mingle. I haven't had a kiss at midnight since I was married. Sadly enough I was dating a guy through the holidays ONCE but didn't get to spend New Year's with him.
> 
> OK, pity party and rant over. I will do something about it next year. Just have to get through this year.
> 
> Anyone else dread parties going solo?


I don't dread going to the party solo, but I miss the idea of having a guaranteed NYE kiss and someone to have a private hotel room "after party" with. Maybe I'm just a perv. Problem is, I'm a selective perv. :scratchhead:

On a side note, congrats on coming so far on your fitness goals!!! That's gotta feel good. Now you can feel extra comfortable wearing something tastefully hoochie. :smthumbup:

Had to laugh at your meetup group description. I like the general interests groups but the ones geared toward dating always have that farty cloud of desperation hanging over them. 

I'll be working the holiday but the plan is to dress up, flirt a little, and have fun! Would be nice to have a date (not going to happen) but I'm hoping to end the night with at least a lil smooch.


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## bravenewworld

Almostrecovered said:


> find a homeless man and clean him up and tell him there's free booze at the party
> 
> (just try to not get lice)


A Lifetime movie in the making! The twist is after getting cleaned up, he looks like George Clooney. Or at least Ted Danson. 

It's the male version of "My Fair Lady." We'll call it "My Beautiful Bum."


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## EnjoliWoman

I like it! Who's going to write the screenplay and who is going to play me? 

Woody Harrelson or William H. Macy should be the bum. They both have a great homeless look and yet both clean up really well.


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## Jellybeans

Re: office parties/company functions - the only date I ever took to those was Mr. Ex Jellybeans. I have dated since then and never brought anyone to the party. I told myself after the divorce that I will never bring a date to any company function. Maybe I will in the future, if it's a bona fide relationship, but even then, I'm not sure, because I thought the marriage would last, too.

I am not one to mix my personal and professional life and kind of like doing the company function solo. 

For holiday parties (friends)... no I don't feel sad for not having a date if I don't. I generally know folks there and mingle and have a good time.

Enjo, are you still using dating sites? Meet some men and go from there.


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## bravenewworld

EnjoliWoman said:


> I like it! Who's going to write the screenplay and who is going to play me?
> 
> Woody Harrelson or William H. Macy should be the bum. They both have a great homeless look and yet both clean up really well.


Julianne Moore to play you, I'll write it, and Nancy Meyers can direct!


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## Lon

Enjoli, BTDT with the same sex friend to a christmas party - my buddy was recently divorced and had no date and asked if I had plans - I was married at the time but I never got out of the house, but my now ex w encouraged me to go and had a decent time, but was getting weird looks from all but a couple of the people at our table. This buddy of mine is latino and has plenty of metrosexual traits, so the rumours flew. Funny thing is years later, last year, I was trying to sell my house and find something cheaper and he was looking for a room-mate, so now we live together. He left the previous company however I'm sure those that still stay in touch suspect there is a lot more, lol.

As for the meetups, don't dismiss all the average looking guys - there are certainly a few guys in there with truly good qualities.


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## EnjoliWoman

Oh, Lon I'm all for the average guys - it seems they are after the few hot women. And I'm not going to try to compete for the few men. I was mostly pointing out they tend to be lots of frumpies with only a few others so I likely wouldn't have much in common/have fun going just with the intent so socialize. And the fact that the singles group is so gender unbalanced.

I'm all about the average guy. I don't care about the hair or if they have a 6-pack... I am a little picky about teeth. But they don't have to be a perfect colgate smile. Between that and having a violent ex, I really like seeing profiles of men who SMILE! I'm naturally optimistic and not interested in the bad boys so that grumpy tough guy facade is a huge turnoff.

Funny about you and the roommate. 

Jelly - I don't want to take anyone I haven't known a long time so that's why this will be a solo party. But we are like a big family even though was are part of a large global company so mixing personal and professional life is fine and somewhat expected. After all they are a reflection of us. I think it's more that I've been single SO LONG I'm self conscious that it makes me look like there's something wrong with me besides having good priorities (kid, career) and being selective.


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## Wolf1974

When I have been single and functions came up I rocked it stag. Have confidence and go to the party solo. 

It does suck getting the constant questions about "any hot dates" or which lucky lady will you be bringing blah blah. 

Doesn't it strike you funny that the people who make these comments are the old married couples who clearly forgot how difficult dating is lol


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## Mr The Other

Shooboomafoo said:


> I swear, I am SOOO in the wrong location... The "meetup groups" are exactly as you describe, and leave me feeling extremely depressed. I am an outgoing person, and strike up a conversation with anyone, but it has been like a ghost town around here for the last 3 years.
> Holidays.... I am the "single dad" who attends friends' functions, and drives home by himself. When I have my daughter, she is fun and all, and we have a good time together, but I sorely miss ("miss".... did I ever have it to miss?), the romantic/involved companionship.
> I'm 43 and it is still extremely slim pickings around here. Single women I have met are single for a reason, and have no intentions of exclusivity. Seems like women in my age group have all just gotten over a ****ty marriage, and have all these hangups about divorced men. Often times it just seems like it is more trouble than it is worth. especially after spending so much time in my life trying to make something work and losing; has me sorta skeptical and weary of the Chinese red army of flags that parade around as if they are looking for someone, only to fill their ego/attention deficit.
> 
> I hope you find someone though. Seem like a down to earth kinda gal, who would be a deeper kind of connection many wish they had.


I have the very first world problem (not that I am interested in dating seriously yet), that women my own age are hard work. I have decent enough features, short (5'10" - short in this nation), but well off and good at chatter. Women in their late 30's take that as a given and wonder what else you have. Meanwhile, women in their 20's seem much, much more open.


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## Mr The Other

Wolf1974 said:


> ...
> 
> Doesn't it strike you funny that the people who make these comments are the old married couples who clearly forgot how difficult dating is lol


I recall my housemate and I about ten years ago making a joke about when people advised "You should find a decent girl and settle down with her", we should wait. When they complain about money we could advise "You should just choose six numbers and win the lottery".


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## COguy

Just reading this now (haven't been on in a few months). I'm downright MAD you didn't message me, I totally would have been your date.

I've been noticing there's an insanely large pool of eligible ladies in our city and a shortage of single guys....Good for those of us men with baggage 

Anyway, I'm super impressed by your weight loss, you've been knocking it out of the park. You look great.


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## EnjoliWoman

Aw, that's sweet but I was just kidding COGuy!  If I had felt a date was a necessity I would have asked. 

Party went fine as there are about four divorced women who came alone, too. Although it was a tiny bit depressing when a male coworker showed up with a date - he's barely divorced for not even a year, easily 10 years older than me and looks like a cross between Einstein and Philip Seymour Hoffman. Then again his date wasn't that hot.

I didn't do anything over NYE because I'm broke. Bathroom remodel will do that, coupled with a banking error that was my fault. 

Next year!


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## Jellybeans

Your co worker may be one of those people who Cannot - Be - Alone. Not attractive, IMO.


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