# Just bought a key logger but scared to use it



## bluerunner (Mar 22, 2013)

Hi, I posted here a couple of months ago. I just happened to look on my H's history and found porn sites and two dating sites. The porn sites were found under sites and the dating sites were under closed windows. My brother checked my router and it seems the porn sites were visited once but not the dating sites were not visited. The sites came up as pop ups. H has cheated in the past so I am trying to keep my eyes open and monitor. 

There has been some behavior that makes me a little uncomfortable so I bought a key logger to recover pass codes but I am afraid to use it. It is bigger than I thought it would be and do not want to install any programs on his computer as I am not too computer savvy. If anyone reading has used one, can you give me some pointers? The instructions seem straight forward but as I have said I am not too computer savvy but I am trying to learn.


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## whatslovegottodowithit? (Jan 6, 2013)

Do you have a computer that you can test it on first to see what is installed? 

Please post the specifics of the keylogger (name, version, is it software, hardware, etc...) so if someone here has used it, they can guide you.


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

whatslovegottodowithit? said:


> Do you have a computer that you can test it on first to see what is installed?
> 
> Please post the specifics of the keylogger (name, version, is it software, hardware, etc...) so if someone here has used it, they can guide you.


If you're not tech savvy, you need to get at least an hour of undisturbed time on his computer. You don't need to be rushed. Make sure you disable his virus protection before you start, and follow the installation instructions. Don't forget to re-enable the virus protection when you finish.

You didn't say what kind of keylogger you got, but it's always a good choice to get the kind that has an internet log-in page (like webwatcher) to get access to his keystrokes and history; so that you don't have to check back on his computer, or rely on e-mails/texts to you that can be intercepted.


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## bluerunner (Mar 22, 2013)

Thanks for the quick replies,
It is a USB key logger. The brand is SleuthGear Protection, model # KS4000 (I think that is the model number). I am afraid H will see it because it is kind of big and I think it would stick out. Although the area where he has everything hooked up is a big mess.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

I saw your other post and that he is a doc. Make sure that his computer is not used for work, or you can be liable for legal actions in violation of several laws (being a doc it could be HIPAA and other violations regarding patient confidentiality if he uses the computer for anything work related). Just an fyi.


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## scorp79 (Apr 25, 2013)

Personally i would run with a software keylogger.

I ran with one in the past, set the antivirus to ignore the specific directory and busted the other half in the very early stages on the PC.

Issue was a year or so later she simply moved on to doing it on the iphone. Nothing the wifi logger and iphone key logger didn't nab. I was a bit slower this time so it was much worse (naked pics traded etc).

Mind you I only ever stuck them on the devices when I noticed a change in behavior and that old gut feeling. Both times its been bang on.


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## bluerunner (Mar 22, 2013)

Squekr, thanks for the FYI, I never thought of that. I just want his email password so I can track him on his iphone especially for those late night visits to the "hospital".
Some one on my other thread suggested I hire a PI but if nothing is found in a few weeks that doesn't mean nothing is happening. I would like a way to track him off and on until I have peace of mind or evidence.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

The same caveats about the keylogger hold true for the email account if it is a work account or used for work as claims of privacy could be made in that case as well. I am just adding this fyi as lots of advice to "track" will be and is always given, but lots of times the possible legal issues that arise are not addressed Heck I have been playing detective for a while myself and wish I didn't keep having to. 

I hope you find what you find is what you need (either the truth or nothing to set your mind at ease), but just wanted to give the little fyi as lots don't know the laws that are broken when they do these things. Most of the time it will amount to nothing and no legal actions are taken, but in the wrong situation and with an ugly D possibly pending, it could have a nasty outcome (as the laws are changing to protect invasions of this sort). If they give you the passwords and approve of your accessing their information, you are pretty much clear, but if you hack the information (even through guessing the passwords), it is still illegal and could have legal ramifications.


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## whatslovegottodowithit? (Jan 6, 2013)

Umm...I use a keylogger as a backup for my passwords. If I come across information by accident that my spouse is up to something, I wasn't spying on her, just mere coincidence that she was a poor spouse and my password backup discovered it


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## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

Use the keylogger but don't tell him where you got the info from. And if there is anything to confront, uninstall the keylogger before you do. Legal ramifications have to be proven. I don't know how easy to prove, but as long as you are careful...


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

Remains said:


> Use the keylogger but don't tell him where you got the info from. And if there is anything to confront, uninstall the keylogger before you do. Legal ramifications have to be proven. I don't know how easy to prove, but as long as you are careful...


With windows, they have their own built in "mischief keyloggers" essentially. It is called a registry and you'd be surprised what it hides and reveals in the right hands. Even uninstalling programs doesn't always remove the telling signs that Windows leaves behind. Even if it is your own system the lines of legality are very grey. If it is a work related system, I wouldn't even play the game, as that is what the IT department people do for a living and they will find the evidence if they suspect (and sometimes when they don't). Of course, you might be safer with the hardware solutions that don't install on the system (of course you then have to deal with interception laws). 
IMO better off to ask for the passwords and permission and if that request is met with refusal, move on as you have your answer.


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## northland (Apr 13, 2012)

What are you scared of?

If he finds out you can tell him that you haven't trusted him since he cheated on you and you know he's keeping things from you now so you're covering your a$$ by monitoring his actions. If he doesn't like it he can screw off.


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## bluerunner (Mar 22, 2013)

The key logger I bought is about 2 inches long and I am afraid he will see it. I am not sure if something is going on right now but little things like not answering the phone or calling me back about 10 minutes after I call bother me because when we first started to R he was always answering my call or having someone answer for him if he was not able to. I know it is impossible to answer the phone every time it rings but that was one of the first things I noticed when his PA was occurring so it puts me on edge. Sorry for venting.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

scorp79 said:


> Personally i would run with a software keylogger.
> 
> I ran with one in the past, set the antivirus to ignore the specific directory and busted the other half in the very early stages on the PC.
> 
> ...


:iagree:


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## RandallStevens (Jan 8, 2013)

Ahh bluerunner...I have to admit I go to a Couple of well known porn sites sometimes and yes several of them have pop ups for dating sites. My worst fear is that my wife would see them and think I was trying out dating sites. So the evidence you described definitely does NOT mean he is using those sites. Now his porn use itself could be a problem if it is interfering with your intimacy, but I would definitely not jump to the conclusion that he is actually using dating sites.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

When it comes to running investigations and all the hoopla over third party convos, keylogging, and cracking passwords, just remember that the average American probably commits about three felonies a day. The likelihood of the G-Men picking you to be the one felony out of 300 million committed on that particular day is unlikely.

As the British SAS says, "Who dares, wins."


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## northland (Apr 13, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> just remember that the average American probably commits about three felonies a day


That's ridiculous.


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## Afra (Mar 29, 2012)

bluerunner said:


> Hi, I posted here a couple of months ago. I just happened to look on my H's history and found porn sites and two dating sites. The porn sites were found under sites and the dating sites were under closed windows. My brother checked my router and it seems the porn sites were visited once but not the dating sites were not visited. The sites came up as pop ups. H has cheated in the past so I am trying to keep my eyes open and monitor.
> 
> There has been some behavior that makes me a little uncomfortable so I bought a key logger to recover pass codes but I am afraid to use it. It is bigger than I thought it would be and do not want to install any programs on his computer as I am not too computer savvy. If anyone reading has used one, can you give me some pointers? The instructions seem straight forward but as I have said I am not too computer savvy but I am trying to learn.


I use Micro keylogger on my family computer. It is quite easy and safe to use. It is not free but offers several days free trial.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

northland said:


> That's ridiculous.


I agree. I have no idea what Congress is thinking by criminalizing everything. And that's before you count any of the crazy state felonies.

"Three Felonies a Day"

"Ham Sandwich Nation: Due Process When Everything is a Crime"


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

With all of the silly and outdated laws on the books, I have no doubt this to be true. I wouldn't worry about the G-Men picking you out either, but if it comes down to D and gets nasty (some people have more money and principles, such I am going to teach them a lesson and punish them for this, than they have common sense and morals/ values) then it could be an issue for the right lawyer to pursue. Some will stoop to low levels and leverage everything to get what they want and think they deserve. Yeah entitlement.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Squeakr said:


> With all of the silly and outdated laws on the books, I have no doubt this to be true. I wouldn't worry about the G-Men picking you out either, but if it comes down to D and gets nasty (some people have more money and principles, such I am going to teach them a lesson and punish them for this, than they have common sense and morals/ values) then it could be an issue for the right lawyer to pursue. Some will stoop to low levels and leverage everything to get what they want and think they deserve. Yeah entitlement.


Federal crimes are prosecuted by US Attorneys of the various Federal Judicial Districts and their Assistants (AUSA), not divorce lawyers. They are not going to goof around with a homegrown adultery investigation, unless there is another major crime in the mix that arose from or was incidental to any breach.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> Federal crimes are prosecuted by US Attorneys of the various Federal Judicial Districts and their Assistants (AUSA), not divorce lawyers. They are not going to goof around with a homegrown adultery investigation, unless there is another major crime in the mix that arose from or was incidental to any breach.


Exactly if they can't extract money out of you because fed court is an admiralty/equity court. Fed employees get to keep 10% of everything they "find" aka irs.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

Machiavelli said:


> Federal crimes are prosecuted by US Attorneys of the various Federal Judicial Districts and their Assistants (AUSA), not divorce lawyers. They are not going to goof around with a homegrown adultery investigation, unless there is another major crime in the mix that arose from or was incidental to any breach.


Even though it might be a Federal Crime, I never mentioned that as the only way to get prosecuted. The individual states can also prosecute if they see fit, as it can be a state felony as well and in violation of state law. In this day and age, everyone is out to get theirs, and if the D lawyer suggests the client can win a crime by pressing charges for privacy invasion, etc, then in a dirty D it could go that route and end up in a bigger pot when it is found out. Depending on the infraction as well, the company of the WS could sue the BS for actions if they have been proven in violation of security and privacy breaches. I was just saying it can happen. Will it, most likely not but it is a real possibility. I reside in a state where Adultery, Criminal Conversation, and Alienation of Affection are all prosecutable offenses. If a lawyer sees other possible avenues for their partners it could go that route as well.


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## northland (Apr 13, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> I agree. I have no idea what Congress is thinking by criminalizing everything. And that's before you count any of the crazy state felonies.
> 
> "Three Felonies a Day"
> 
> "Ham Sandwich Nation: Due Process When Everything is a Crime"


I checked out the books.

That's all they are. Books with a shocking title that tries to get people to buy them.

Just because a book might say "3 Felonies a Day" doesn't mean that people actually commit anything remotely close to 3 felonies per day.

About the only thing that makes any sense is that there are lots of ridiculous outdated laws still on the books. 

Don't believe everything you read even if it's on the internet.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Squeakr said:


> Even though it might be a Federal Crime, I never mentioned that as the only way to get prosecuted. The individual states can also prosecute if they see fit, as it can be a state felony as well and in violation of state law. In this day and age, everyone is out to get theirs, and if the D lawyer suggests the client can win a crime by pressing charges for privacy invasion, etc, then in a dirty D it could go that route and end up in a bigger pot when it is found out. Depending on the infraction as well, the company of the WS could sue the BS for actions if they have been proven in violation of security and privacy breaches. I was just saying it can happen. Will it, most likely not but it is a real possibility. I reside in a state where Adultery, Criminal Conversation, and Alienation of Affection are all prosecutable offenses. If a lawyer sees other possible avenues for their partners it could go that route as well.


Breaking into a cheating spouses computer over adultery has only been prosecuted once, by the well known retard Wayne County, Michigan prosecutor and charges were dropped after lots of bad press. Sure, there are plenty of retard DAs running around, but the odds are hundreds of times greater that you're going to be blown up by Al Queda than prosecuted for a marital investigation. Always play the odds.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

Machiavelli said:


> Breaking into a cheating spouses computer over adultery has only been prosecuted once, by the well known retard Wayne County, Michigan prosecutor and charges were dropped after lots of bad press.


Not sure where you get your information as your claim is not true. I can imagine there are lots of these cases prosecuted and more occurring each year as the laws are changed/ edited.
Here is an example of one such case that occurred in NC: In July of 2012 a former Sherriff’s Deputy was forced to defend himself in civil court in Brunswick County, North Carolina for using spyware to monitor his ex-wife’s emails and Internet activity. After hearing only three hours of testimony, a jury awarded a verdict in favor of his ex-wife, and he was ordered to pay compensatory and punitive damages as well as attorney’s fees; the grand total was a whopping $25,400. 

I agree that the odds are with you getting away with it, but then again you could be unlucky, and as I was saying before it doesn't have to be prosecuted on the criminal level as well, could be civil.


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## whatslovegottodowithit? (Jan 6, 2013)

bluerunner said:


> The key logger I bought is about 2 inches long and I am afraid he will see it. I am not sure if something is going on right now but little things like not answering the phone or calling me back about 10 minutes after I call bother me because when we first started to R he was always answering my call or having someone answer for him if he was not able to. I know it is impossible to answer the phone every time it rings but that was one of the first things I noticed when his PA was occurring so it puts me on edge. Sorry for venting.


Did you decide to install the password back-up, I mean keylogger? If so, any problems. If not, because of the advice here? 

Trust your gut, it's usually right!


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

Afra said:


> You can only use it on the machine that belongs to you.


I think there's a correction here: You can only use it on community property of the marriage. Which is going to be any computer that is in your house that doesn't belong to a company one of you works for.


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

Squeakr said:


> Here is an example of one such case that occurred in NC: In July of 2012 a former Sherriff’s Deputy was forced to defend himself in civil court in Brunswick County, North Carolina for using spyware to monitor his ex-wife’s emails and Internet activity. After hearing only three hours of testimony, a jury awarded a verdict in favor of his ex-wife, and he was ordered to pay compensatory and punitive damages as well as attorney’s fees; the grand total was a whopping $25,400.


That was his ex-wife. Different deal there; that would be like a deputy putting spyware on your or my computer. 

If the married couple are not legally separated and their community property includes the computer(s) in question, there should be no problem installing a 'password retreiver.'


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## northland (Apr 13, 2012)

doubletrouble said:


> That was his ex-wife. Different deal there; that would be like a deputy putting spyware on your or my computer.
> 
> If the married couple are not legally separated and their community property includes the computer(s) in question, there should be no problem installing a 'password retreiver.'


I can see why a court might be more lenient in the case of a shared computer between a married couple but there still are risks there.

It's like saying it's ok to tape a phone conversation in a state where such acts are illegal, because the housephone is "shared property".

I don't think it would fly. Fact is, if the spying is discovered by a soon to be ex spouse, the "threat" of legal action would give a huge negotiating edge to the partner who has it as leverage.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

doubletrouble said:


> That was his ex-wife. Different deal there; that would be like a deputy putting spyware on your or my computer.
> 
> If the married couple are not legally separated and their community property includes the computer(s) in question, there should be no problem installing a 'password retreiver.'


It was his ex because the case happened after the divorce had been granted. She went after him in civil court for his actions and he was held liable. The issue in this case was also that the he monitored her communications. Unless she gives him the password, email accounts are not considered community property (and i could be wrong but personal items like phones and computers are generally not considered community property either, as I have never heard of them being split up in divorces or that laws support both parties having access to them unless agreed upon).


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

northland said:


> I can see why a court might be more lenient in the case of a shared computer between a married couple but there still are risks there.
> 
> It's like saying it's ok to tape a phone conversation in a state where such acts are illegal, because the housephone is "shared property".
> 
> I don't think it would fly. Fact is, if the spying is discovered by a soon to be ex spouse, the "threat" of legal action would give a huge negotiating edge to the partner who has it as leverage.


Someone that sees the caveats I was warning against. I was not saying to do it or not to do it, just that the risks exists. I like to make sure that all have the full story and let them decide how they will proceed with the full knowledge.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

northland said:


> I don't think it would fly. Fact is, if the spying is discovered by a soon to be ex spouse, the "threat" of legal action would give a huge negotiating edge to the partner who has it as leverage.


The problem for your argument is that it is strictly hypothetical. Nobody wants to be the test case, but the odds of any one person being that test case are extremely slim. Always play the odds.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Squeakr said:


> It was his ex because the case happened after the divorce had been granted. She went after him in civil court for his actions and he was held liable. The issue in this case was also that the he monitored her communications. Unless she gives him the password, email accounts are not considered community property (and i could be wrong but personal items like phones and computers are generally not considered community property either, as I have never heard of them being split up in divorces or that laws support both parties having access to them unless agreed upon).


Most states are not community property states, only those previously part of New Spain plus Washington, Idaho, and Nevada (copied California law after being Californicated), although Wisconsin despite having no connection to Spanish law. In Texas, all assets acquired after the marriage from joint funds (pretty much all income except for gifts) are community property, last time I checked. YMMV depending on the com prop state in question.


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## northland (Apr 13, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> The problem for your argument is that it is strictly hypothetical. Nobody wants to be the test case, but the odds of any one person being that test case are extremely slim. Always play the odds.


No need to play any odds.

Keep the spying a "secret".


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## bluerunner (Mar 22, 2013)

whatslovegottodowithit? said:


> Did you decide to install the password back-up, I mean keylogger? If so, any problems. If not, because of the advice here?
> 
> Trust your gut, it's usually right!


I still haven't installed the "password back-up". I am scared because it is so big. I am thinking of buying a smaller one. Once I get the password I need, I won't need the keylogger anymore so I won't leave it attached. The computer technically belongs to H but our daughter and I use it. She plays games on it and I use it when I need to print something because I don't have a printer on mine. For four years we shared a computer then I bought mine for school. I have files loaded on his computer and all of our family pictures are stored on there so, does it make the computer a shared computer?


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## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

IMO, yes!

And frankly, I wouldn't care anyway. It is worth the risk. I would view the risk as minimal, and in fact, stupid. I wouldn't view it as a risk personally.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

northland said:


> No need to play any odds.
> 
> Keep the spying a "secret".


exactly.


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## mrtickle (Jan 29, 2013)

I'm going to chime in as another voice that I don't think there is any evidence of your husband using data sites, as some porn sites do indeed pop up those dating site windows.

By all means continue with the keylogging, as you know about a previous affair and want to ensure you are not in false R, but I don't think those dating site windows are a red flag in themselves (and I, personally, wouldn't be overly bothered about the porn sites, but your mileage may vary on that one).


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## bluerunner (Mar 22, 2013)

I finally got the guts to install the keylogger and it didn't fit. H's keyboard plug has a round attachment and the keylogger is rectangular. So now I have to order the correct one. I am so mad that I bought the wrong one, ugh.


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