# Question for the ladies



## Zulu (Apr 16, 2010)

OK, so your hubby asks you if one of your kids is yours or not... what would the response be?

If you freak out and say "are you out of your [email protected]#$ mind, of course he is yours"

Or if you just answer and say, "yes, he is yours, if you do not believe it, go have him tested"

What kind of response would mean what....?????


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

well, given that my boyfriend is not my kids father, if he asked me that, I'd laugh my butt off. 

seriously, though....if my kids father had ever asked me that question, my response would have been a very quiet, very serious, "If you think he isn't yours, feel free to pay for a paternity test. Be prepared to come home from that test to find yourself served with divorce papers. And if you're wondering why, think about what you're calling me by implying one of our children isn't yours." 

I don't think you can go by the response to determine if the kid is his or not. Most women I think would be offended at being asked that question, and whether their response would be of the freak out or utterly serious variety would depend on that woman's usual response to things that offend her. 

I'm not sure if your the wife that's been asked this or the husband that did the asking, but either way, I'd be less concerned with the response (unless of course it was "No, he's not yours"), and more concerned with what's wrong in the relationship that the question even came up to begin with.


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## Nekko (Oct 13, 2009)

I don't have kids but i can safely imagine what my response would be. I'd probably think it's a joke initially because i find it silly (annoying, pointless, exasperating) to seriously ask such a question when you're in a committed loving relationship. 

If it's clear that the question is serious, response will probably vary depending on person. 

I'm more of a ""are you out of your [email protected]#$ mind, of course he is yours" or make fun "no, i screwed a black guy two years ago but thankfully, the kid popped out white" kinda person.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

You know your wife better than all of us. How does she normally react to things when she is lying? Telling the truth? What's her body language say? Depending on how long you've been together you should be able to read her reaction.

Just for the record.....Had I been confronted with an accusation like that, I would have immediately broken down into tears. I would have been speechless for awhile.


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## Zulu (Apr 16, 2010)

See, this is the thing, she has of late told me that she was attracted to someone 10 years ago and they kissed........ anyway, we have a 10 year old son, that is pretty fair skinned and I am dark haired and so is she.

Her response was "ok I told you I never slept with him, he is yours, if you do not believe me, go get him tested"

I am trying to make sense of stuff, and obviously everything gets put under the microscope...

I was expecting just a "yes"... so now have to decide if I must go get him tested or not. She is out of teh house for 6 months already.... and into her 2nd appartment which has a 6 month lease... just hanging in there, have no idea what she is doing or what, don't really know what to do.

Someone told me.... if you do not know what to do, do not do anything, we only communicate with regard to our boys, nothing else...


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Now that your marriage is in turmoil, I can certainly understand why you would have these thoughts running through your mind. However, does it really matter? You are the father this child knows and loves. Unfortunately, this is one of those areas where one should tread lightly.


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## lbell629 (May 10, 2010)

my husband and I are both brown hair and hazel eyes and our son is red hair and blue eyes and he is definitely ours. Genetics are weird like that


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## River1977 (Oct 25, 2010)

The answer you received is the one you expected. Because it wasn't that one simple word, you turn her answer into a big question mark. She didn't appreciate the implication behind the question. No woman would appreciate her husband telling her he doubts she told the truth because it's calling her a liar. And not only did you call her a liar about the relationship, you are also suggesting she lied about your paternity.......for 10 years. So as to dispel your doubts and so she never has to hear you insult her again, she pointed out the absurdity of your question and invited you to go and prove it to yourself once and for all. I don't understand your confusion.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

And why would you have even asked a question like that?

I'd be insulted if my husband asked me if our kids were his. If he had any reason to wonder, then why stay married?


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

Also, if you get him tested and he's not - doesn't mean you're off the hook.

Look up the laws in your state. In most states, any child born in the marriage is considered the husband's child, regardless.

So if you love the child, why does it matter...we don't think that our grandchild is our son's (and he doesn't either), but we don't care, we love that little guy - wouldn't make a difference if tim-buck-two was his Dad, doesn't change our feelings and love for him one bit.


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

I would have laughed and told him to get tested if he's got a problem. If she has nothing to hide/hide nothing. If my husband went and got the test I'd enjoy rubbing the results in his face but honestly I'd respect his desire to know for sure. If I was a guy I'd want to know.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

I would have laughed my ass off. Both our boys literally look nothing like me but look like carbon copies of him. If you line my husband's baby photo up next to older son's baby photo and younger son's baby photo you cannot tell the difference. They are that similar. 
I would have no issue getting them tested though and as Trenton said then rub the results in his face.


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

i was hit with the same question from my h when we were living together young kids add one baby i just shrugged it off and later said if you would not like to be here dont give me some punk a.. excuse to leave i am not interested in keeping you if you are looking at the front door then put his mother on blast not a problem also spearm donnars dont make fathers just trifflin guys danceing on maurys stage
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## colour-me-confused (Sep 15, 2010)

I think her response was pretty normal for the situation. Its the same thing I'd say to my stbx I think. Cause honestly, if you already believe in the possibility of the child not being yours, after her telling you for years it is yours, then you won't believe anything she says anyway. So why should she bother to defend herself to you? She is probably insulted, if it is definitly your kid, and she isn't going to bother to fight with you about it. You won't be satisfied until you get the test, so just do it.


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## colour-me-confused (Sep 15, 2010)

oh dear ... I'm sorry that sounded so short! I re-read it and now feel bad. I don't know your whole situation and I'm sure you have a reason to believe as you do. Its a situation that riles me up because I've seen it before ... first from the side of a man finding out he had a to year old and then from the side of a man finding out his two year old was not really his.


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## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

Zulu said:


> See, this is the thing, she has of late told me that she was attracted to someone 10 years ago and they kissed........ anyway, we have a 10 year old son, that is pretty fair skinned and I am dark haired and so is she.
> 
> Well...if you go by that than we wouldn't be the parents of both our kids either....we have dark brown hair and both boys have white blond hair....
> 
> ...


I don't think you can tell whether she's been faithful or not by her response....it simply depends on the persons temper and attitude.....


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