# Lack of Love



## rysmomma (Aug 13, 2008)

My husband and I were married in 2006. we have two kids, 1 and 4. When my son was 8 months old my husband left for a few weeks and i was really hurt. He came back after i begged him to and about 6 months later he left again and said that he wanted a divorce. He said that our relationship and sex life was not what he expected it to be. (I was his first and we waited to get married to have sex.) after a few months he came back and everything was great for about six months. Also, he loves to play online games like world or warcraft and we had a lot of issues with him playing for hours per day and getting upset when i asked him to get off of the games and spend time with us. When he came back the second time we both put a lot of effort into our relationship. everthing was going great and about a year and a half ago he started playing the games all the time agian, he doesn't talk to me at all and gets angry and fustrated with me with everything i do. He has been working and going to school for a few years so i have tried my best to be supportive of him and to be there for him. i was pregnant and had our little girl 14 months ago and i didn't ask anything from him the whole time because of the stress he was under with everything. the only thing i asked of him was to spend time with us once in a while and clean up after himself. He has gotten to the point where he doesn't respect anything. he gets mad at everything i say or do and acts like it is the end of the world if i want help or time from him to talk and do stuff. finally a few weeks ago i asked him what was wrong and he said that he doesn't know if he loves me and doesn't even know if he wants to try. he gets out of school in the middle of january and he asked me to wait till then for him to figure stuff out. i found out that he has been talking to a lot of people about divorcing me and has even talked to his father about moving in with him. I am trying to wait for him to figure it out but i am starting to get to the point where i don't even want to try anymore either and i feel like i am stuck. i want to just separate but i also want to give him the time he needs. i am so confused and upset right now.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

It sounds like your husband is using computer games to not have to deal with the real world. In the real world there are demands on him. The games make no demands. That's hard to compete with.

Do you work outside the home?

Otherwise I'd advise you to treat him according to the 180 as much as you can at this point. Get a job if you do not have one. And get ready for his move out. At this point, with his history I'd just assume that he's going and just doing what is easy for him.. nothing until he's ready.

If you are ready to, just ask him to move to his dad's now.

As soon as he moves out file for divorce. It would be wise for you to start talking to attornies to know your rights and how to proceed.


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## rysmomma (Aug 13, 2008)

thanks for the advice, i read the 180 and i liked it. i did work out of the house for a few months and i am currently looking for a job right now. besides that i've been staying home with the kids. i think i have been there for him too much and never really focused on what is important to me with my needs and wants, so i am looking at that now to make a happy healthy decision for myself. i am done with chasing after him, so i think the 180 plan will do me some good. He wants me to wait for him till he gets out of school to figure out what he wants. this is only 3 weeks away so i am going to do that, but if he doesn't decide somthing soon, i will make my decision. it is tough, especially with kids, but i know that my quality of life and my childrens are at stake so i have to do something for the three of us. i've tried everything with my husband and he just never seems to be happy or satisfied. so we will see what happens next.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Seems like you have the right attitude. There is nothing you can do if he just ignores you.


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