# family update....



## momof6girls (Jan 11, 2010)

ok it has been awhile since i have been able to get on line... lucky work busy.

but daughter is due any time well Sept 8... and she is at home she is still working and in fact got a promotion and baby so far so good... baby's dad still not allowed at the house many issues but my hubby (her father) still pushing her making remarks and wants her to leave him and downs him any time he can. I can see this is making her mad and since he is working on just working (finally got a job at mcd's "at least he is working") he wants a car.... they can't afford to live any where else. I tell her dad always said his mind and it is his house and she will respect if she wants to live home she can't have bf over, but as the baby time nears she is getting worried and mad and tension building.

next daughter is well getting ready for college and still no job.. i am not pushing she babysits and pays for her gas and extras but not paying to live home or stuff and i am ok with that... dad on the other hand.. said job or out she has 3 months... HELLLLLL i see his point i do but i will not kick my kid out she is going to college just starting and i know driving our car and our insurance and we pay for her phone but we did that any way and when HE pushed our other daughter she did move out quite college to work full time and got prego... o then moved home??? i think as long as in school and not asking me for money what is the harm her not paying for car if she was not driving it it would just sit there,,, next kid can't drive till at least end of this yr.

i don't go out any more (use to go with friends just to prove i can but caused issues like i was cheating stuff) i stay home every night of the week and started working weekend job just to be out... so i work 7am-330pm every day mon thru fri... then home straight home unless store shopping needed then he goes along... then working 9am-8pm weekends he comes (out side event) and walks around checking on me here and there... 

ok one of his friends came on to me 2 years ago.... i told him and he now don't trust me...??? we went back and forth and i caved it is not worth the fighting when i go out, so i am ok with hanging with my family "most night"...

well extra money is going to be used to pay off bills (that he got us into by bad business mistakes) and staying home saves more money but i am in my 40's and feel well trapped... i love my family i really do but when i leave for work at 6 and his still in bed or reading the paper... and i get home at 4:30 and have to run kids here and there and make dinner and he is sitting on the computer playing games... yes i get mad. and tired.


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

I don't blame you. I'd be mad and tired, too. Life is no fun when you are walking on eggshells, and it doesn't sound as if you have done anything to warrant being on lockdown, in fact your husband should be grateful for your honesty 

I understand not wanting to make waves, but have you thought about doing something with other women just to have some 'me' time? Like taking a cake decorating class or join a women's bunko group? Your husband shouldn't have boo to say if there are no other men in sight, but I do believe his behavior is over the top controlling.

I am with you when it comes to your daughter. I guess everyone has their opinion, but if my kids go to college/uni I will support them as much as possible. If they choose not to, they will need to work full-time and get their own place...unless H and I agree they can stay and pay rent. I guess I try to make the college option look good and hope they will choose it


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

swedish said:


> I don't blame you. I'd be mad and tired, too. Life is no fun when you are walking on eggshells, and it doesn't sound as if you have done anything to warrant being on lockdown, in fact your husband should be grateful for your honesty
> 
> I understand not wanting to make waves, but have you thought about doing something with other women just to have some 'me' time? Like taking a cake decorating class or join a women's bunko group? Your husband shouldn't have boo to say if there are no other men in sight, but I do believe his behavior is over the top controlling.
> 
> I am with you when it comes to your daughter. I guess everyone has their opinion, but if my kids go to college/uni I will support them as much as possible. If they choose not to, they will need to work full-time and get their own place...unless H and I agree they can stay and pay rent. I guess I try to make the college option look good and hope they will choose it


Might want to remind your overbearing husband that booting out the kids who are struggling in this recession and still wanting to attend college--that payback is a b!tch. 

Will he wonder why they don't help him out when he is old and needing attending to? it'll be too late then to remind him that he brought those girls into the world and his job is not done yet.

It is not going to make them better people to be be cruel to them when times are hard and he can afford to be generous.

He is not teaching them independence. He is showing them how to be mean spirited.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

I have to say, you are not teaching them independence, either, with caving to him just to keep the peace. Trust me, it doesn't work. It only makes him do it more. Time to start setting some boundaries.


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## momof6girls (Jan 11, 2010)

thanks to all... yes it is a double sided coin.. got my daughter enrolled in school yesterday and me and her talked on the way there she will need to get a job, she will only have class mon and wed the 1st semester so i want her to know she must pay for the books and her phone and keep her room and help keep house clean.

oldest daughter well waiting for baby to come and then i did already tell her we need to talk she has a job full time and with baby she says she wants to go back to school but reality is that cost with no help from baby's daddy will be harsh and she pays for her phone and car but needs to give at least 100 a month for cost like water and electric and stuff. she gets it but stated she wanted to save money to get an appartment with baby's daddy.. grrr i wish her the best we will see.

i don't look at my hubby as controlling i look at him as lonely if i say i want to take a cooking class he will either want to sign up with me (even thought not his thing) or take me and wait in the car till after class... he don't have alot of friends and when i had the six younger it was all about work and then home to us while his friends were out running. now his friends are having kids we end up riding harleys just us two (occassional friend here and there goes along) but seems in the end it is me and him. 

his father was old school 18 and college or job or out...! and really deep down he says it and then i give him that look and he goes on and on about responsiblity and then in our room he says you know i would never kick them out??? i said they have to know that. and i do tell them but still makes me mad.

it would be easier and cheaper if the girls in a perfect world made there own way but yes we will be older and i hope they will be there if i need them and i want to be there for them when they need me... times are different harder the more people looking for jobs and the less jobs are out there times have changed.. his answer to that is he don't like change... ogar self proclaimed he says he is


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