# 10 Year Anniversary



## marriedwifeof4ki (Sep 19, 2016)

My husband and I recently celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary. We have 4 children, ages 6, 4, 2, and 1. We had not been alone for an entire night since before our 1st child. My husband arranged for childcare and a 1 night hotel stay. We went out and had a nice romantic dinner at a nearby steakhouse. He surprised me with flowers, candles, and flower peddles on the bed of our hotel room. We even were able to do some slow dancing in a make shift dance floor. 

Needless to say, we made love. I orgasmed 3 times in one night, it was absolutely amazing. I had not felt like a woman in that way in a very long time. I find it difficult to switch my brain from mommy to wife mode... Lol

I lost track of time making love the next morning and was accidentally walked in on by the housekeeping staff. We had forgotten to hang the do not disturb sign. Neither one of us heard her come in, so we didn't know she was there until she was backing out of the room. I was on the verge of my 2nd orgasm of the morning, so I didn't stop. 

I was embarrassed afterwards when I had a clear head. My husband asked me last night if we could make love while another couple watches. I think that I might have created a monster and I do not know what to do. I am curious about trying it. When I think about it, it turns me on.

Has anyone else experienced this? Has anyone else been walked in on and didn't stop or am I a complete weirdo?


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Congratulations on reconnecting sexually with yourself and your husband.

For my wife and me, being walked in on has always killed the mood. 

As to letting another couple watch, I would recommend against that, but the mind is easily tricked and so there are a lot of ways you could create the illusion of that for your H's benefit through role playing. 

Good luck and enjoy.


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

I've been walked in on by kids, which definitely kills the mood.

Don't bring other people into the bedroom, it will not go well.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

If you are not interested in that sort of thing, just tell him NO.


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## marriedwifeof4ki (Sep 19, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> If you are not interested in that sort of thing, just tell him NO.


I have told him no and he respects my feelings. However, I feel as if I am being hypocritical. I didn't stop after all. 

Have you ever dealt with this EleGirl?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

marriedwifeof4ki said:


> I have told him no and he respects my feelings. However, I feel as if I am being hypocritical. I didn't stop after all.
> 
> Have you ever dealt with this EleGirl?


So what if you did not stop. It was a situation where your privacy was intruded upon without your consent.


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## marriedwifeof4ki (Sep 19, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> So what if you did not stop. It was a situation where your privacy was intruded upon without your consent.


True. It is not like she had never seen boobs before... LOL


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

Is this another bogus user? Who signs up for a forum to post this?


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Married, here may be a future compromise if you get a little excited by being watched, have sex with the window open at some hotel where there is a chance you might get seen but keeps you from interacting with anyone.


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## becareful2 (Jul 8, 2016)

I'm going to assume that the maid walking in was not planned by your husband.

That said, what you have with your husband is very sacred, so you should protect it, even if he won't due to him thinking with his little head. 

First, he'll ask you to let someone watch; could be his best friend or yours. Some husbands will share everything with their best bud, including their wife.
Then, he'll ask you to let that person participate. Maybe a threesome on your 15th or 20th anniversary?
It is like a drug, and he'll ask for more and more. Divorced women gave in to their husband's requests to introduce a third party have warned husbands to not tempt their wives to open up their marriage. Jealousy and hurt feelings will rear it's ugly head, and by then it may be too late.

Congrats on your 10th Anniversary! Protect it or lose it!


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## rockon (May 18, 2016)

GuyInColorado said:


> Is this another bogus user? Who signs up for a forum to post this?


Thank you!! I thought I was alone.


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## Marriednatlanta (Sep 21, 2016)

I don't think this ever happened...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## marriedwifeof4ki (Sep 19, 2016)

For those of you that think that I am full of it, I don't care what you think. It happened, so believe what you want to. 

Sent from my XT1254 using Tapatalk


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I suggest you try camping at a relatively busy camp ground. You'll know others can hear you and if that works well, then you can progress to risk taking sex. Having sex where you run the risk of getting caught can be exhilarating. But only if you trust your husband to keep you safe. It would really suck if you were caught and then had to entertain the troops after having dangled the carrot.


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## marriedwifeof4ki (Sep 19, 2016)

Anon Pink said:


> I suggest you try camping at a relatively busy camp ground. You'll know others can hear you and if that works well, then you can progress to risk taking sex. Having sex where you run the risk of getting caught can be exhilarating. But only if you trust your husband to keep you safe. It would really suck if you were caught and then had to entertain the troops after having dangled the carrot.


I take it you have experience on this. Ha ha ha


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Not the camping part.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Anon Pink said:


> I suggest you try camping at a relatively busy camp ground. You'll know others can hear you and if that works well, then you can progress to risk taking sex. Having sex where you run the risk of getting caught can be exhilarating. But only if you trust your husband to keep you safe. It would really suck if you were caught and then had to entertain the troops after having dangled the carrot.


No offense but this is a really horrible thing to do in a civilized society. I am not a prude but no one wants to walk into two people having sex (especially two normal people who aren't porn stars) at a public camp ground, have some respect for others around you. I amazed I have to even point this out. There is a reason we have laws against this kind of stuff. What if some kid should wake up and walk into seeing that what does that do to this kids life, there is a long post on her from some guy who saw his mom having sex and it messed up his whole life. This kind of thinking is a completely inconsiderate to everyone around you.


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## Phil Anders (Jun 24, 2015)

She didn't say to do it on a picnic table. She's suggesting doing it in the damn tent like just about every other couple that goes camping.


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## AlphaMale74 (Oct 15, 2014)

I don't think it's weird at all to let someone watch you have sex. I actually am open to the idea and find it erotic, but my wife wouldn't be since she's a bit more conservative and private than me. I've frequently fantasized about having sex with my wife with another couple in the same room doing it as well. I'm one to push the boundaries a little since it brings more excitement.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

sokillme said:


> No offense but this is a really horrible thing to do in a civilized society. I am not a prude but no one wants to walk into two people having sex (especially two normal people who aren't porn stars) at a public camp ground, have some respect for others around you. I amazed I have to even point this out. There is a reason we have laws against this kind of stuff. What if some kid should wake up and walk into seeing that what does that do to this kids life, there is a long post on her from some guy who saw his mom having sex and it messed up his whole life. This kind of thinking is a completely inconsiderate to everyone around you.


Messed up his whole life? 

What did people do before the 20th century when parents hung a sheet between their bed and where their kids slept? Did they never have sex?

What do parents do in other cultures where separate bedrooms are only for rich people?

What's messed up is that kids grow up thinking sex is so shameful they are traumatized to happen upon a parent having sex.

Raise of hands...who has had their kids catch them having sex? Are all these kids doomed?

I think prude might fit better than you wish it to.


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## marriedwifeof4ki (Sep 19, 2016)

Anon Pink said:


> Not the camping part.


What do you mean by entertain the troops?


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Anon Pink said:


> Messed up his whole life?
> 
> What did people do before the 20th century when parents hung a sheet between their bed and where their kids slept? Did they never have sex?
> 
> ...


It's about letting kids keep there innocence while they are young. Seriously no one wants to hear or see your sexy times just because it helps you get off. Some how you think this is the same thing as Inuit's in the 19th century. Nah, I also don't want my neighbors dumping their garbage in the street. I really don't give a crap if it is more exciting for you. There is a lot of stuff in life that would be more fun, like driving home at 150 mph. I don't do it because i live in society and have respect that my actions affect other people. If you want to have sex in front of people great go do it where there is no chance that me or some other unsuspecting person can walk into it. **** stream it online. There are plenty of outlets where people can give their consent to watching it. If I or my kid happen to go out of my tent and walk into you doing it in the road I didn't give my consent, and there in lies the problem. 

Basic rules of society think how your actions could affect other people.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

sokillme said:


> It's about letting kids keep there innocence while they are young. Seriously no one wants to hear or see your sexy times just because it helps you get off. Some how you think this is the same thing as Inuit's in the 19th century. Nah, I also don't want my neighbors dumping their garbage in the street. I really don't give a crap if it is more exciting for you. There is a lot of stuff in life that would be more fun, like driving home at 150 mph. I don't do it because i live in society and have respect that my actions affect other people. If you want to have sex in front of people great go do it where there is no chance that me or some other unsuspecting person can walk into it. **** stream it online. There are plenty of outlets where people can give their consent to watching it. If I or my kid happen to go out of my tent and walk into you doing it in the road I didn't give my consent, and there in lies the problem.
> 
> Basic rules of society think how your actions could affect other people.




Your posts would go over better if you didn't try to claim you're not a prude. Own it man!


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> Messed up his whole life?
> 
> What did people do before the 20th century when parents hung a sheet between their bed and where their kids slept? Did they never have sex?
> 
> ...


*Raises hand*


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

You don't want to go there if you aren't comfortable with it...this stuff has a very slippery slope. Tell your H you don't want that and hold your ground.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

sokillme said:


> It's about letting kids keep there innocence while they are young. Seriously no one wants to hear or see your sexy times just because it helps you get off. Some how you think this is the same thing as Inuit's in the 19th century. Nah, I also don't want my neighbors dumping their garbage in the street. I really don't give a crap if it is more exciting for you. There is a lot of stuff in life that would be more fun, like driving home at 150 mph. I don't do it because i live in society and have respect that my actions affect other people. If you want to have sex in front of people great go do it where there is no chance that me or some other unsuspecting person can walk into it. **** stream it online. There are plenty of outlets where people can give their consent to watching it. If I or my kid happen to go out of my tent and walk into you doing it in the road I didn't give my consent, and there in lies the problem.
> 
> Basic rules of society think how your actions could affect other people.



Is your version of innocence believing that the stork brings babies? Understanding that grown ups do grown up things and make grown up noises -in the privacy of their own tent or own bedroom is not a loss of innocence.

Are you familiar with the difference between exhibitionism and shameful hiding? From what you wrote, you sound as if any lack of shameful hiding is the same as thing as having sex at your 3rd graders cafeteria table during lunch. 

If you think a couple having quite sex in a tent is shameful, you must have a lousy sex life.


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## wantshelp (Mar 10, 2016)

Anon Pink said:


> Messed up his whole life?
> 
> What did people do before the 20th century when parents hung a sheet between their bed and where their kids slept? Did they never have sex?
> 
> What's messed up is that kids grow up thinking sex is so shameful they are traumatized to happen upon a parent having sex.


Yes! Yes! I completely agree! First off, I do want to say that exposing yourself to random people or random kids is totally inconsiderate of them and inconsiderate to their choices for raising their family. 

However, seeing/hearing parents have sex is the way it has been for thousands of years until maybe 100 years ago. I personally never saw or heard my parents have sex and that did serious damage to my life. I was so shielded in this puritanical culture that I assumed sex is what people do in the movies, but I knew good marriages don't have sex because I never see my parents do it. I think my life would have been much better had I had parents that didn't hide it so well. I would have had a MUCH better idea of how sex is a part of a loving marriage. 

And actually, I am kinda confronting this now with my daughter. My daughter panics when we are in our bedroom with the door locked having sex as quietly as possible (which totally sucks by the way, I love hearing my wife make all those sex noises . She is literally listening at the door, then starts banging on the door crying because she doesn't understand what we are doing. She is 8 years old and perhaps thinks I am hurting mommy. We actually talked about it in therapy today and I said maybe we shouldn't try so hard to keep her from seeing. If she's curious, let her see that mom and dad are playing in an adult way. Then she'll know and can stop worrying. But, our therapist recommended against that and suggested we just try to tell her in a way she can understand. I don't know though. I despise the way my parents never told me what life and marriage are about. I think they set me back at least a decade. I am determined to be the source of absolute truth for my kids and for them to feel like they can talk about anything with me without judgement.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

if your daughter is distressed your wife has to go to her with a GIANT smile and explain that dad and I were having adult fun. Your wife needs to explain this to her because your daughter fears for her mother.

Also, it would be really good for your daughter to hear laughing and giggling and not just panting and moaning. Sex is fun, fun makes us laugh. 

Do not arrange for your daughter to walk in. But do allow your daughter to see you and your wife kissing, holding each other, rubbing one another's shoulders or back. Affection between mom and dad should be openly displayed. Bring your daughter in for a group hug!


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## Cljb (Mar 17, 2016)

I walked in on my parents having sex multiple times in childhood. Caught mom giving dad a BJ. Friends from school came home with me one day and mom and dad were at it on the living room couch (they thought the friends and I were going to a different friends house....) They also were very touchy feely in public - holding hands, kissing, shoulder rubs, sometimes dad would sneak a little bum squeeze when he thought no one was looking. While I wasn't interested in watching these things at the time, later I realized those things gave me a very secure sense of how much my parents loved each other. I knew they had a passionate marriage. I could regularly physically see (and hear) that was the case. It also showed me that sexual interaction was best between two people who really really loved one another. They are still together now. And still passionate. Dad still squeezes moms bum in public some times. On a family trip last winter I heard them having sex. They probably heard my husband and I having sex too. And for the record, my kids were in the room down the hall. Probably Listening to their parents AND their grandparents. My kids know what sex is, why we do it, that it isn't shameful and that I'll be there to help guide them to their own sexual experience when they are ready. They know I won't judge them. They know I'll answer EVERY single question they have about it with complete honesty (and at ages 8 and 6, some pretty outrageous questions come out!). 

My parents also made sure that, from a very young age, we understood sex was a natural part of adult life, felt good, made babies, wasn't something you should do with just any one, and should always be done safely. They told us that our early Sexual encounters should never occur while under the influence of drugs or alcohol, to avoid making unsafe decisions. They stressed that they didn't think it wise to only have one sexual partner in our lives, since it's a huge factor to be sexually compatible with whoever we would spend our lives with, but that respect for whoever we chose at the time was paramount. My parents made sure I went on birth control shortly after I had begun seeing my first serious boyfriend in high school at age 15. They stressed the importance of condoms to both of my brothers and myself. Condoms were available in our house while we were teens (15+). I didn't start sleeping with my boyfriend until I was 17, which I'm glad for. I was mature enough to know I loved him and he loved me, and I knew I was safe. I attribute that to my parents entirely. It was a great, tender, exciting experience for me. I'll never forget it. 

The idea that it should be hidden from kids is bizarre to me. I'm not saying make your kids watch, but this idea of "innocence" is so cliche. Innocent from what? Why is sex something to hide from? It's a natural part of life and kids deserve to understand it so they don't misconstrue it or let it become taboo. When we attach negative connotation, that's when things become stressful, create confusion, or induce shame when they have any of the natural desires that WILL happen to them. Many people then carry those feelings into their adulthood and they impact their sex lives and relationships forever.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Cljb said:


> I walked in on my parents having sex multiple times in childhood. Caught mom giving dad a BJ. Friends from school came home with me one day and mom and dad were at it on the living room couch (they thought the friends and I were going to a different friends house....) They also were very touchy feely in public - holding hands, kissing, shoulder rubs, sometimes dad would sneak a little bum squeeze when he thought no one was looking. While I wasn't interested in watching these things at the time, later I realized those things gave me a very secure sense of how much my parents loved each other. I knew they had a passionate marriage. I could regularly physically see (and hear) that was the case. It also showed me that sexual interaction was best between two people who really really loved one another. They are still together now. And still passionate. Dad still squeezes moms bum in public some times. On a family trip last winter I heard them having sex. They probably heard my husband and I having sex too. And for the record, my kids were in the room down the hall. Probably Listening to their parents AND their grandparents. My kids know what sex is, why we do it, that it isn't shameful and that I'll be there to help guide them to their own sexual experience when they are ready. They know I won't judge them. They know I'll answer EVERY single question they have about it with complete honesty (and at ages 8 and 6, some pretty outrageous questions come out!).
> 
> My parents also made sure that, from a very young age, we understood sex was a natural part of adult life, felt good, made babies, wasn't something you should do with just any one, and should always be done safely. They told us that our early Sexual encounters should never occur while under the influence of drugs or alcohol, to avoid making unsafe decisions. They stressed that they didn't think it wise to only have one sexual partner in our lives, since it's a huge factor to be sexually compatible with whoever we would spend our lives with, but that respect for whoever we chose at the time was paramount. My parents made sure I went on birth control shortly after I had begun seeing my first serious boyfriend in high school at age 15. They stressed the importance of condoms to both of my brothers and myself. Condoms were available in our house while we were teens (15+). I didn't start sleeping with my boyfriend until I was 17, which I'm glad for. I was mature enough to know I loved him and he loved me, and I knew I was safe. I attribute that to my parents entirely. It was a great, tender, exciting experience for me. I'll never forget it.
> 
> The idea that it should be hidden from kids is bizarre to me. I'm not saying make your kids watch, but this idea of "innocence" is so cliche. Innocent from what? Why is sex something to hide from? It's a natural part of life and kids deserve to understand it so they don't misconstrue it or let it become taboo. When we attach negative connotation, that's when things become stressful, create confusion, or induce shame when they have any of the natural desires that WILL happen to them. Many people then carry those feelings into their adulthood and they impact their sex lives and relationships forever.


Welcome to TAM! 

It is so refreshing hearing from someone (especially in SIM) who was raised to be prepared for the most important corporeal relationship in their lives and a component of marriage that is often overlooked and just as often dissatisfying to one or both spouses.

I cracked up about your kids possibly over hearing their parents and their grandparents having sex. If that isn't a testament to heathy sexuality for a child to absorb I don't know what is.

Thanks for posting this.


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## marriedwifeof4ki (Sep 19, 2016)

Cljb said:


> I walked in on my parents having sex multiple times in childhood. Caught mom giving dad a BJ. Friends from school came home with me one day and mom and dad were at it on the living room couch (they thought the friends and I were going to a different friends house....) They also were very touchy feely in public - holding hands, kissing, shoulder rubs, sometimes dad would sneak a little bum squeeze when he thought no one was looking. While I wasn't interested in watching these things at the time, later I realized those things gave me a very secure sense of how much my parents loved each other. I knew they had a passionate marriage. I could regularly physically see (and hear) that was the case. It also showed me that sexual interaction was best between two people who really really loved one another. They are still together now. And still passionate. Dad still squeezes moms bum in public some times. On a family trip last winter I heard them having sex. They probably heard my husband and I having sex too. And for the record, my kids were in the room down the hall. Probably Listening to their parents AND their grandparents. My kids know what sex is, why we do it, that it isn't shameful and that I'll be there to help guide them to their own sexual experience when they are ready. They know I won't judge them. They know I'll answer EVERY single question they have about it with complete honesty (and at ages 8 and 6, some pretty outrageous questions come out!).
> 
> My parents also made sure that, from a very young age, we understood sex was a natural part of adult life, felt good, made babies, wasn't something you should do with just any one, and should always be done safely. They told us that our early Sexual encounters should never occur while under the influence of drugs or alcohol, to avoid making unsafe decisions. They stressed that they didn't think it wise to only have one sexual partner in our lives, since it's a huge factor to be sexually compatible with whoever we would spend our lives with, but that respect for whoever we chose at the time was paramount. My parents made sure I went on birth control shortly after I had begun seeing my first serious boyfriend in high school at age 15. They stressed the importance of condoms to both of my brothers and myself. Condoms were available in our house while we were teens (15+). I didn't start sleeping with my boyfriend until I was 17, which I'm glad for. I was mature enough to know I loved him and he loved me, and I knew I was safe. I attribute that to my parents entirely. It was a great, tender, exciting experience for me. I'll never forget it.
> 
> The idea that it should be hidden from kids is bizarre to me. I'm not saying make your kids watch, but this idea of "innocence" is so cliche. Innocent from what? Why is sex something to hide from? It's a natural part of life and kids deserve to understand it so they don't misconstrue it or let it become taboo. When we attach negative connotation, that's when things become stressful, create confusion, or induce shame when they have any of the natural desires that WILL happen to them. Many people then carry those feelings into their adulthood and they impact their sex lives and relationships forever.


Would you stop making love if they walked in? If it is nothing to be ashamed off then why stop? What are your thoughts and feelings on that?


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## marriedwifeof4ki (Sep 19, 2016)

Anon Pink said:


> if your daughter is distressed your wife has to go to her with a GIANT smile and explain that dad and I were having adult fun. Your wife needs to explain this to her because your daughter fears for her mother.
> 
> Also, it would be really good for your daughter to hear laughing and giggling and not just panting and moaning. Sex is fun, fun makes us laugh.
> 
> Do not arrange for your daughter to walk in. But do allow your daughter to see you and your wife kissing, holding each other, rubbing one another's shoulders or back. Affection between mom and dad should be openly displayed. Bring your daughter in for a group hug!


I agree


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

marriedwifeof4ki said:


> Would you stop making love if they walked in? If it is nothing to be ashamed off then why stop? What are your thoughts and feelings on that?


Yes, you should stop making love if your kids walk in! 

To do otherwise crosses the line between reasonable behavior and incestuous child abuse. Sex is neither shameful nor a spectator sport. Reasonable steps for privacy do not have to include shameful hiding.


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## IndianApple (Mar 27, 2016)

marriedwifeof4ki said:


> My husband and I recently celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary. We have 4 children, ages 6, 4, 2, and 1. We had not been alone for an entire night since before our 1st child. My husband arranged for childcare and a 1 night hotel stay. We went out and had a nice romantic dinner at a nearby steakhouse. He surprised me with flowers, candles, and flower peddles on the bed of our hotel room. We even were able to do some slow dancing in a make shift dance floor.
> 
> Needless to say, we made love. I orgasmed 3 times in one night, it was absolutely amazing. I had not felt like a woman in that way in a very long time. I find it difficult to switch my brain from mommy to wife mode... Lol
> 
> ...




No its not a wierd thing at all. But if you allow couple to watch it then am sure they will surely get aroused. Instead, if you let a man / woman to watch it, you never know he/she might get aroused and get undressed and then may be you will feel an urge to try him or may be your hubby would like to try her.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## marriedwifeof4ki (Sep 19, 2016)

Anon Pink said:


> Yes, you should stop making love if your kids walk in!
> 
> To do otherwise crosses the line between reasonable behavior and incestuous child abuse. Sex is neither shameful nor a spectator sport. Reasonable steps for privacy do not have to include shameful hiding.


I agree. However, we did get walked in on by a hotel housekeeper once. We didn't realize it until she was backing out of the room. Lol


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## Cljb (Mar 17, 2016)

> Would you stop making love if they walked in? If it is nothing to be ashamed off then why stop? What are your thoughts and feelings on that?


I don't claim anyone should have their kids watch them have sex. I never watched my parents have sex - accidentally walked in on them, heard them, basically knew they were very regularly sexually active together. It wasn't necessary for me to watch to know what was going on. A couple having sex is an intimate scenario that simply isn't within the capacity of a child to physically witness and comprehend. That doesn't make it shameful to know it occurs. 

My only point of posting my experience was to counter the idea that a child walking in on their parents being intimate doesn't ALWAYS result in screwed up children who become screwed up adults, as was insinuated by an earlier poster. When paired with great communication and awesome parenting quite the opposite can be true. In fact, the knowledge that two people in a relationship share a complex physical connection in a healthy way can provide a child with the tools to grow to become a sexually aware, responsible, mature teenager and adult who can secure a great sex life with their own partner. 

I don't believe anyone suggested kids should watch them have sex. But sometimes, kids stumble upon it. If that happens, treating it as a taboo, terrible thing or lying about it, serves only to create negative or wrong ideas about sex that people often carry with them forever. I had a friend who believed storks delivered babies till he was 12. I have girlfriends who believe they are "dirty" or wrong to desire sex, even as adults, due to the conception in childhood instilled by their parents that sex was a bad thing. This is simply bizarre to me.


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