# Got this odd text? help



## notfeelingthetrust (Sep 19, 2012)

Been married for a while got a text from another female saying she has been talking with my {H} and she is upset because he's not answering the phone, and he's lied to her about being out town cause his truck is in the driveway, this person knows where we live, knows he asked for a divorce last year , they meet at this place that he would sometimes go on his lunchbreak or whenever he needed too, I had gut feelings last year , he did ask for a divorce 3 weeks coming home from the hostipal last year, told me some pretty not so good things about me, found lots of porn images not sure about how often watching it but do know that,signed up on an adult site to hook up with others finally caught that, secret email, I just don't know what to do yes it looks real obvious but since all the other things are out in the open he has made some change just don't want to be that person, To me with the other things I've already been cheated on maybe not physical but mentally, So yes I run around being paranoid, snooping, which I just got to a comfortable point where I was not doing that as often as I was which was giving me secrurity of it now this,,,,,,,,,,tired of this but love my husband? Someone please give bias advice.. By the way we have been going out of town for our business but usually his truck is here! And we are together on those trips!


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## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

Don't worry, you will get a lot of helpful responses on this forum. I am bumping you so that you get noticed.


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## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

so did you respond to the text? Look the number up and see who its from???


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## B1 (Jun 14, 2012)

Have you confronted your husband yet?

You need to talk with your husband and find out what's going on, where his head is about this. It does sound like he's been having an affair but you really need to talk with him and let us know his response.

In the meantim check his cell records, is this number being used a lot back and forth?


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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

notfeelingthetrust said:


> Been married for a while got a text from another female saying she has been talking with my {H} and she is upset because he's not answering the phone, and he's lied to her about being out town cause his truck is in the driveway, this person knows where we live, knows he asked for a divorce last year , they meet at this place that he would sometimes go on his lunchbreak or whenever he needed too, I had gut feelings last year , he did ask for a divorce 3 weeks coming home from the hostipal last year, told me some pretty not so good things about me, found lots of porn images not sure about how often watching it but do know that,signed up on an adult site to hook up with others finally caught that, secret email, I just don't know what to do yes it looks real obvious but since all the other things are out in the open he has made some change just don't want to be that person, To me with the other things I've already been cheated on maybe not physical but mentally, So yes I run around being paranoid, snooping, which I just got to a comfortable point where I was not doing that as often as I was which was giving me secrurity of it now this,,,,,,,,,,tired of this but love my husband? Someone please give bias advice.. By the way we have been going out of town for our business but usually his truck is here! And we are together on those trips!


My interpretation of the text would be that the OW is not getting any attention from your H. Her text was sent to upset you and hope that you and he would fight over it. If you "assume" that they are still an item, then she was hoping that you would file for D and she could get his attention once again.

Do you know who she is? Can you trace the number? Is she a former AP?


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## KanDo (Jun 15, 2011)

Well, you already know your husband was cheating on you. At least her texting shows she is not getting the attention she once was. I have a feeling you just rugswept this whole thing. Did your husband give you all the details, become completely transparent with phone, email, etc? If not, you will likely have a continued spiral of cheating and false recovery.

Are their kids, how long married, how old are you. A little more details about the full extent of his cheating and your response mught help people offer advice.


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## Daisy82 (Sep 4, 2012)

I agree with other posters, sounds like the OW is trying to stir the pot! I'm always curious how these women get the wife's number in the first place! I personally would do more "digging", have as much info as possible before I confront H. At least that's how I played it when I found out about stbxh affair. I knew he wouldn't tell me the truth unless he knew I already knew. Good luck!


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## underwater2010 (Jun 27, 2012)

You need to resume your digging. Figure out who the woman is (even if you have to text her back), check your WH cell phone and house phone for the same number, check his computer and watch his behaviour. Once you have found all that you can, ask him about her (hopefully using her name). Watch his reaction.

It could be that he did not give you all the information the first time around. I am also prepared that more information might come out in the future, but will be more understanding if it involved the one and only affair.

Let us know what you find.


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## notfeelingthetrust (Sep 19, 2012)

yes I have confronted him and yes i sent several dame texts to this so called woman, no response except enough to lead me to think this is true, he don't have a cell phone nomore we had that gone since jan, but he does have internet, but we are usually home together all the time except a couple times a month which is plenty of room for chatting while not home, even if I was home he could still be chatting, not that good with computers, no he swears that this is someone trying ruin us..which she said she got my name off his phone but my name wasn't on his phone it was under a nickname he has for me.. to the other person who said i wasn't laving over a text you don't know my situation or things I have gone through so don't tell me my course of action.


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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

notfeelingthetrust said:


> yes I have confronted him and yes i sent several dame texts to this so called woman, no response except enough to lead me to think this is true, he don't have a cell phone nomore we had that gone since jan, but he does have internet, but we are usually home together all the time except a couple times a month which is plenty of room for chatting while not home, even if I was home he could still be chatting, not that good with computers, no he swears that this is someone trying ruin us..which she said she got my name off his phone but my name wasn't on his phone it was under a nickname he has for me.. to the other person who said i wasn't laving over a text you don't know my situation or things I have gone through so don't tell me my course of action.


Yes, I would have to agree with your H that this OW is out to ruin your marriage. No doubt about that in my mind. You see, if she was simply trying to contact HIM, she would certainly not have tried to contact YOU.

That being said, she apparently had your name and number, knew you owned a truck, and knew things about you that suggest that she is familiar with your situation. This OW seems to be a stalker, regardless of her relationship or lack thereof to your H.

Can you file a police report? As in harassment? Potential Stalking? Anything that could put this event "on the record" should it continue? Have you thought about taking that avenue of investigation? Have you discussed this with your H.

The reason I offer the above suggestion is that I wonder what your H's reaction to that would be. Whether he would be as concerned and support you, or whether he would want you to back away from taking the investigation further. This, in itself, could tell you whether there is more that he knows and is not telling, or whether he is truly innocent of any connection with this woman. Only you can gauge his reaction because of your familiarity with his demeanor.


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## Drover (Jun 11, 2012)

This is total B.S. It's cross-posted in the General Relationship Discussion forum. There's another thread on that forum supposedly from her husband.


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## notfeelingthetrust (Sep 19, 2012)

what do you mean supposedly from my husband he got on here first, I seen what he was reading and then this morening decided to join myself to get some advice as we do love each other and are open when problems arise, so if you can't handle people like that then thats an issue, thats pretty mean!


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## notfeelingthetrust (Sep 19, 2012)

ok we went and talked to attorney today , this was just yesterday this lady texted me with only enough info in 4 texts to make me beieve it could possibly be true, but on the other hand my husbands behavior has not been weird like it was last year, which is supposely when they meet, her complaint is to let me know he meet her and had been talking to her but he hasn't had a phone since feb, so the only way would be computer or home phone as we have a home business together so I am only gone to do kid errands, groceries, most of the time someone is home when he's here, thats why he posted wanting to know how he can prove his innocence, but by the course of his actions last year, this makes him guilty, but he swears he hasn't done nothing like this, what he done last year we had already working through, my thought is this could be possible that he did meet this person, but since feb, he really hasn't been out of my sight, he does give me axcess to everything he is so mad that they are trying to ruin us, but hurt me also, hurt him by lieing he will not give up his marriage based on a lie, So I am in the middle because of past behavior, but I can see with everyone not knowing every little detail it's hard to understand, he is a private shy man, so hard to deal with things when brought to life. I on the other hand will put it out there, this is real and some of the response are crazy, I told him maybe we shouldn't be on here, cause even he did talk to someone I need to know to make my own decision and coping skill to deal with the situation, painful yes, I'm not a revenage type of person a praying one!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I think your husband posted about this yesterday somewhere.

Funny that you should both find this forum. Look for his post.


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## notfeelingthetrust (Sep 19, 2012)

I was standing behind him reading what others had posted about his question he had. so yes this is how I found the site, he wasn't hiding it, I know what he posted as I was reading the responses of people on his take , I wanted to know about my side of the problem!


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## notfeelingthetrust (Sep 19, 2012)

I cannot sleep, looking up things on computer my mind is going crazy


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