# Sex and prostate cancer



## survived (Jan 31, 2014)

I know when most people hear a man has prostate cancer and has his prostate gland removed they 
think his sex life is history. I had prostate cancer 6 years ago and had it removed. I thought the same thing.
I asked my doctor if he could save the nerves that surround my gland to increase the chance of maintaining my 
erections. He did and I knew it worked when five days post op with the catheter still in my penis, I woke up with
the beginnings of an erection. Within a month I was able to get erections and have sex with the aid of Cialis. 
Now I get natural erections any time. I have been married to the same lovely and sexy woman for the past 45 years.
We are both very happy and satisfied lovers.:smthumbup:


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## WayUpNorth (Dec 14, 2013)

I would recommend the DiVinci Robotic Surgery. It worked for me. No medication needed.


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## survived (Jan 31, 2014)

I had the open surgery. The surgeon is more important than the device. A Divinci in the hands of a surgeon that is not proficient in its use can be a problem. I have heard of problems with every procedure. Most involve inexperienced or lousy surgeons.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Research and get the very best dr that you can is my advice to anyone facing this. Did the surgery cause retrograde ejaculation?


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## survived (Jan 31, 2014)

Thound said:


> Research and get the very best dr that you can is my advice to anyone facing this. Did the surgery cause retrograde ejaculation?


Yes that is a common trade off. However now I tell my wife I can fake orgasms too LOL


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Dudes, once the prostate is out, there are no ejaculations, retrograde or otherwise.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

I was taking Rappaflow for an enlarged prostrate and it caused retrograde ejaculation. It's not quite the same, but I could live with it if I had to.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Machiavelli said:


> Dudes, once the prostate is out, there are no ejaculations, retrograde or otherwise.


If I can't enjoy sex, I would just as soon die. Of course that's what I say now. Who knows what I will think when I look down that gun barrel.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Thound said:


> If I can't enjoy sex, I would just as soon die. Of course that's what I say now. Who knows what I will think when I look down that gun barrel.


You still enjoy sex, the only thing different is you dry fire. Except for actually shooting the load, it feels exactly the same way. Some girls may find this unfulfilling, so to speak.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

ejaculate achiavelli;6930857]You still enjoy sex, the only thing different is you dry fire. Except for actually shooting the load, it feels exactly the same way. Some girls may find this unfulfilling, so to speak.[/QUOTE]

I bet my wife would like it. She thinks ejaculate is gross


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Thound said:


> ejaculate achiavelli;6930857]You still enjoy sex, the only thing different is you dry fire. Except for actually shooting the load, it feels exactly the same way. Some girls may find this unfulfilling, so to speak.


I bet my wife would like it. She thinks ejaculate is gross[/QUOTE]

She probably would think it's the greatest thing in the world then...


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## survived (Jan 31, 2014)

Orgasms are just as strong as they were pre op for me. Some men find it not as good. Orgasms are also possible when flaccid. 
But they are much better when erections are very firm.


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## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

Prostate cancer is to men what breast and cervical cancer is to women.
However prostate removal often has a detrimental effect to a mans sexual ability. 
Of course $hit happens in life...you can be the healthiest and most sporty of people and still have a heart attack aged 32...But, enhancing prostate health is relatively easy and actually very pleasant...its called E J A C U L A T I O N !!

The medical profession harp on (rightly) about how important it is for women to check their breasts regularly...very few go on about how important prostate health is.

I am sure there will be some on here who will disagree with me, but, after a prostate infection, my consultant told me about the importance of eating fresh fruit etc AND how important it is to clear the tanks atleast twice a month.
(my wife was at the consultation with me...her response (later) to this comment was "typical male attitude")

So..to all the guys out there in sexless marriages, please make sure you 'take matters in hand' regularly otherwise you could end up having to have your prostate removed (or, God forbid worse...)


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

I opted for the davinci surgery, and at the current time I do injections to get erect, I am alive and hopefully cancer free. I f I had to do it over may have done the cyber knife. I am starting to get erections without medications but not quite there yet. Hope to be someday.


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## Voiceofreason (Mar 6, 2011)

Thank you all for posting your experiences. Based on my family history, it appears that prostate cancer and surgery will be when and not if for me. Your posts are encouraging.


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

Voiceofreason said:


> Thank you all for posting your experiences. Based on my family history, it appears that prostate cancer and surgery will be when and not if for me. Your posts are encouraging.


It killed my dad, watch your psa level, caught mine early


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

If any of you guys retain your nerve bundles (I gots one left), I recommend a time release arginine supplement and daily cialis. It took me a full two years to get back to having useable erections, with only one nerve bundle. The biggest problem I have post op is I still can't do an immediate round two. In fact, it's one and I'm done. Not good, but unless I go the bionic route, I seriously doubt it's going to get any better as I approach age 60. If I can stay "undetectable" for a few more years, I may try dianabol or testosterone.


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

Machiavelli said:


> If any of you guys retain your nerve bundles (I gots one left), I recommend a time release arginine supplement and daily cialis. It took me a full two years to get back to having useable erections, with only one nerve bundle. The biggest problem I have post op is I still can't do an immediate round two. In fact, it's one and I'm done. Not good, but unless I go the bionic route, I seriously doubt it's going to get any better as I approach age 60. If I can stay "undetectable" for a few more years, I may try dianabol or testosterone.


Supposed to have saved my nerves, I still use trimix injections, but after 16 months I still need help as just get spongy boners, I wonder to this day if I made the right treatment choice.


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## survived (Jan 31, 2014)

Had both my nerve bundles saved. Lots of trauma to them during prostate removal. They heal at the rate of about 1/8 inch a month. So 12-18 months to be back intact. I can still have 'sex on demand" with no problems. Get just as firm the next morning. But I am 65 so I feel very fortunate.


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## WayUpNorth (Dec 14, 2013)

Voiceofreason said:


> Thank you all for posting your experiences. Based on my family history, it appears that prostate cancer and surgery will be when and not if for me. Your posts are encouraging.


4 brothers in my family. 3 of us have had the prostate removed. My dad had 3 brothers. 2 died of prostate cancer. Dad had the radio active seeds more than 15 years ago. Still going strong at 86. Regular PSA's and digital exams could save your life. When it is time for the needle biopsy, don't turn it down.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Did I mention the ketogenic diet for cancer? Google it.


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

survived said:


> Had both my nerve bundles saved. Lots of trauma to them during prostate removal. They heal at the rate of about 1/8 inch a month. So 12-18 months to be back intact. I can still have 'sex on demand" with no problems. Get just as firm the next morning. But I am 65 so I feel very fortunate.


I am still not there


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

rush said:


> I am still not there


vacuum pump three times a day and take your pills. If all else fails, there is the bionic tool.


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

Machiavelli said:


> vacuum pump three times a day and take your pills. If all else fails, there is the bionic tool.


Pills not covered by my insurance, ved I have, yes I know my last option, hoping I come back on my own.


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

survived said:


> I had the open surgery. The surgeon is more important than the device. A Divinci in the hands of a surgeon that is not proficient in its use can be a problem. I have heard of problems with every procedure. Most involve inexperienced or lousy surgeons.


I would imagine individual anatomy and cancer progression matter as well. I've seen the stats for impotence and incontinence. They seem awfully high - I tend to think that while there are always going to be better doctors and worse doctors, a lot of this has to do with the state of medicine in general and really good treatments that make these side-effects a rarity don't exist yet.


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

WayUpNorth said:


> 4 brothers in my family. 3 of us have had the prostate removed. My dad had 3 brothers. 2 died of prostate cancer. Dad had the radio active seeds more than 15 years ago. Still going strong at 86. Regular PSA's and digital exams could save your life. When it is time for the needle biopsy, don't turn it down.


This. It's important to note as well that the younger you are, the more aggresive (faster-growing) the prostate cancer will be. My father was diagnosed at 55 and it seemingly was caught right before it would have metastasized.


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

I am not incontinent at all, glad about that, and I do get hard but with help from drugs, rather be way I was!


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

rush said:


> Pills not covered by my insurance, ved I have, yes I know my last option, hoping I come back on my own.


Get the pills from the online Indian pharmacy. 20mg cialis equivalent cut into 4 pieces for 5mg daily dose.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

DTO said:


> I've seen the stats for impotence and incontinence.


And those are overstated to emphasize the positive. They also try to tell you penis reduction from prostatectomy is a myth. don't you believe it.


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

Machiavelli said:


> Get the pills from the online Indian pharmacy. 20mg cialis equivalent cut into 4 pieces for 5mg daily dose.


I'd be suspicious about going this route. I think our FDA serves a valuable function. Just read an article about a particular Indian drug maker that keeps being sanctioned:

India's Ranbaxy faces more regulatory scrutiny after U.S. ban | Reuters

I would see what it costs to buy the approved versions in quantity and see what that costs.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

DTO said:


> I'd be suspicious about going this route. I think our FDA serves a valuable function. Just read an article about a particular Indian drug maker that keeps being sanctioned:
> 
> India's Ranbaxy faces more regulatory scrutiny after U.S. ban | Reuters
> 
> I would see what it costs to buy the approved versions in quantity and see what that costs.


Don't buy from the sources that don't deliver good stuff. Very simple. Or skip India and go to any other country you prefer. All of them are cheaper than the USA. I've had very good results from India via a Caribbean source.


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

Machiavelli said:


> And those are overstated to emphasize the positive. They also try to tell you penis reduction from prostatectomy is a myth. don't you believe it.


yes


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## survived (Jan 31, 2014)

The surgery can cause a slight reduction in length. However regular erections help get back your length. If erections do not return it can look like a turtle shell with a small head peeking out. In other words, use it or loose it.


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## Surprisedagain (Jun 27, 2011)

My husband had his removed, had to have radiation treatment, still on hormones to control testosterone levels. We have tried everything except the implant nothing works. So sad. He won't have anything to do with me because he can't penetrate me. So frustrating we've seen a counselor and relationship improves for a while, but ends up like it was before. He is very attracted to me.
So hard, it has been over 5 years and he won't touch me 
Our marriage was based on a very strong sexual attraction. We had a fantastic relationship. Been together 13 years. I am so unhappy. I would just love a pat on the head!!!!


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

Surprisedagain said:


> My husband had his removed, had to have radiation treatment, still on hormones to control testosterone levels. We have tried everything except the implant nothing works. So sad. He won't have anything to do with me because he can't penetrate me. So frustrating we've seen a counselor and relationship improves for a while, but ends up like it was before. He is very attracted to me.
> So hard, it has been over 5 years and he won't touch me
> Our marriage was based on a very strong sexual attraction. We had a fantastic relationship. Been together 13 years. I am so unhappy. I would just love a pat on the head!!!!


Has he tried injections?


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## spanz (Feb 6, 2014)

Surprisedagain said:


> My husband had his removed, had to have radiation treatment, still on hormones to control testosterone levels. We have tried everything except the implant nothing works. So sad. He won't have anything to do with me because he can't penetrate me. So frustrating we've seen a counselor and relationship improves for a while, but ends up like it was before. He is very attracted to me.
> So hard, it has been over 5 years and he won't touch me
> Our marriage was based on a very strong sexual attraction. We had a fantastic relationship. Been together 13 years. I am so unhappy. I would just love a pat on the head!!!!


sounds like his prostate cancer is NOT under control, to have an operation, radiation, and then follow on hormone treatment. Having low testosterone has to be impacting his sex life! And he might be really scared about the future.

I do not have any experience with it, but I have seen posts from guys who have the implant...and after some pain for a few weeks, they say they REALLY love it. So that is always an option.

Is he a "shower" or a "grower". Guys who are growers have trouble with trimix injections. They can not hit the "sweet spot". Maybe try injections again, but make sure his penis is as big as it can get before he injects. Maye a nice rubbing session in the shower with you before he injects?

But dear, you have to talk to him. Just because he can not get a hard on does not say his tongue or fingers are suddenly paralyzed too! Tell him exactly what you want, in no unsure or shy way, and challenge him to get you to orgasm right then and there. Maybe he is pulling away because he knows his penis will not get hard, and you have not made it clear to him (at least to his subconscious mind) that that is ok, you understand, and will be more than happy with other sex. Get both of your minds off the penis-centric sex. Try role play, dressing up, watching porn together....whatever it takes to get you off with him helping as much as he can. He will find a lot of sexual pleasure...eventually, in the fact that he can still get you off!


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

I inject every other day, 98 percent of the time it works, 2 percent it seems like unexplainable, semi hard:scratchhead:


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## BrockLanders (Jul 23, 2012)

Sounds like men should follow the lead of women who raised breast cancer awareness. Breast cancer now enjoys one of the best prognoses of all cancers. Wear brown for prostate awareness? It lacks the sexiness of pink. We should work on this.


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## survived (Jan 31, 2014)

Surprisedagain said:


> My husband had his removed, had to have radiation treatment, still on hormones to control testosterone levels. We have tried everything except the implant nothing works. So sad. He won't have anything to do with me because he can't penetrate me. So frustrating we've seen a counselor and relationship improves for a while, but ends up like it was before. He is very attracted to me.
> So hard, it has been over 5 years and he won't touch me
> Our marriage was based on a very strong sexual attraction. We had a fantastic relationship. Been together 13 years. I am so unhappy. I would just love a pat on the head!!!!


Nothing is more frustrating to a man than being in bed and not able to perform as a man. Trust me I know. For the first month after my surgery, I did get an erection just not hard enough to penetrate. My wife did everything she could, sexy outfits, stockings, high heels, catering to my fantasies, everything. I did try to please her with oral sex and all she loves, but I could tell she was still frustrated. I did get a prescription for Cialis, and it did the trick. At first I required constant manipulation to stay erect but as time went on all improved greatly. Our marriage always involved great sex. It was and still is a big deal to us. I don't know what I would do or how I would feel if I could not make her feel as she did before. I do hope you both can cope with such a problem.


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

spanz said:


> sounds like his prostate cancer is NOT under control, to have an operation, radiation, and then follow on hormone treatment. Having low testosterone has to be impacting his sex life! And he might be really scared about the future.
> 
> I do not have any experience with it, but I have seen posts from guys who have the implant...and after some pain for a few weeks, they say they REALLY love it. So that is always an option.
> 
> ...


Agree with this. Re-read the first paragraph for emphasis.

I did a fair bit of research after my father's diagnosis (and it has been a while since that event). What I recall is that prostate removal is it if the cancer is contained to that gland. Radiation and hormone therapy are for men whose cancer has spread to some degree.

I suspect your husband might be having a tough time coming to grips with his cancer. Have you had a talk with him regarding his prognosis? Maybe he needs some sort of grief counseling?

Also, keep in mind that those other treatments he is getting (esp. the hormone therapy, from what I can tell) all compound the ED issue. Radiation further damages the area, and hormone therapy aims to reduce testosterone.


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## kimd (Oct 12, 2013)

survived said:


> I know when most people hear a man has prostate cancer and has his prostate gland removed they
> think his sex life is history. I had prostate cancer 6 years ago and had it removed. I thought the same thing.
> I asked my doctor if he could save the nerves that surround my gland to increase the chance of maintaining my
> erections. He did and I knew it worked when five days post op with the catheter still in my penis, I woke up with
> ...


Goodness. Sounds like you having better sex without your gland than many men here half your age with one. Congradulations and keep it up !!!


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

kimd said:


> Goodness. Sounds like you having better sex without your gland than many men here half your age with one. Congradulations and keep it up !!!


I am the same except I have to use injections


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## kimd (Oct 12, 2013)

rush said:


> I am the same except I have to use injections


That's okay. Most of us do not care how you get there, just as long as you do get there.


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

kimd said:


> That's okay. Most of us do not care how you get there, just as long as you do get there.


I am just happy something does work, almost too well


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## ifweonly (Feb 27, 2014)

Medication demolished my sexuality and after trying the pump, pills, and Trimix Standard injections, I decided to get the AMS implant. That was about six years ago and one of the best decisions that I ever made. I gained girth and after considerable use, I actually gained a slight increase in length.

It is surgery but eight weeks later I was good to go and have been going ever since :lol: I would encourage any man with challenged erections to go the route of an implant. In the hands OF A VERY EXPERIENCED urologist (choose the doctor carefully) it would be a rewarding experience and --- the woman in your life will be thrilled as well!

Six months after the implant, I had laser surgery inside the urethra to relieve the pressure of the prostate and as a result, have retrograde ejaculation. No problems as the sensations are every bit as strong as before.

I work with my urologist and speak publicly with him about my personal experience with the implant. I just could not be happier. 

I am 73 and my wife & I have been married for 52 years and have better sex today than ever before; the implant has made that much difference.


The Best to All,

ifweonly


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

ifweonly said:


> Medication demolished my sexuality and after trying the pump, pills, and Trimix Standard injections, I decided to get the AMS implant. That was about six years ago and one of the best decisions that I ever made. I gained girth and after considerable use, I actually gained a slight increase in length.
> 
> It is surgery but eight weeks later I was good to go and have been going ever since :lol: I would encourage any man with challenged erections to go the route of an implant. In the hands OF A VERY EXPERIENCED urologist (choose the doctor carefully) it would be a rewarding experience and --- the woman in your life will be thrilled as well!
> 
> ...


great to hear, it may be in my future as well


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## kimd (Oct 12, 2013)

Wow 52 years and still going strong. So happy for you both !!!


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## ifweonly (Feb 27, 2014)

Thanks Kimd --- 52 years is not a "walk in the park". It does take work and understanding each others wants and needs. What is unique about my wife and I is that she was my first and only girlfriend (I worked my way through school and met her while participating in a medical research project). Neither my wife or I had sex with others and did wait until we were married; we have tried to make up for lost time though!

Fran


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## amanda23 (Jan 24, 2013)

My husband had surgery for prostate cancer. He has ED. It has not been easy maintaining our intimate relationship. He has lost interest at times - then gets it back when he feels he has hope of getting better. He does trimix injections for rehabilitation purposes. We have only used it for intercourse a few times, because he has not wanted to. At first it hurt him - then the discomfort went away. He has had climaxes by himself through self stimulation, but not been able to climax with me or while having intercourse with trimix. His ED is starting to get better and although we have not been able to have intercourse without trimix there are signs that he is improving. He is getting partial erections but they are not sufficient for intercourse and they don't last. As he is getting his erection back our relationship is improving, but we have a long way to go to. He is not very communicative about all this. I think that if he were able to climax with me that our intimate relationship would improve a lot. Before his surgery he always had a climax when he was intimate with me.


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

hope hr recovers, I am in the same boat kinda


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