# Am I ready to leave??



## ready2run (Dec 8, 2012)

I have been married nine years. In hindsight this is a marriage that never should have happened. We met not long after my divorce and his wife passing away. We met online and moved way too quickly. I moved three hours away from my family to be with him on a farm and finishing raising the three of his six kids still at home. My daughter (16) moved with me and finished school in their home town. Everybody in this town was his wifes friends (small town-600 people) so ten years later I still have NO friends here.The first four years I threw myself into the farm/our home and the kids. I was being told by many people that he had cheated on his late wife alot. I chose to ignore it and think he would never do it to me. I was wrong. 5 years in I found out he had been cheating with a woman we knew..who had even been at our wedding. He was cheating with her the whole time we long distance dated and before and after the wedding. They ended it after I found out and he begged me to stay. By then I was dealing with my dad dying and made myself stay and put it out of my mind. Fast forward two years and it all hits me..what he had done. I left to go see my family and put a little distance between us...and shortly after found out my mother was dying. I stayed at th hospital with my mom until she went home and passed away. My mother was my best friend and I was devastated. I found out that while I was at the hosp. with my mom that my husband was talking on the phone with another woman..and had even made a date to meet her wich he says he didnt keep. When I found this out I told him I wanted to separate. I would go to therapy and so would he..and after awhile we would go together. So, for three months we talked EVERY morning and night. He would tell me how much he loved me and wanted me home. After awhile I felt ready to try again. I went home...and found out not only was he having another affair..he had moved her into our home and into our bed. He has a whole life going on without me. He would be on the phone telling me he loved me and then turn over and make love to this woman in our bed!!! I tried to leave again and he tried to kill himself. I stayed and for two months he went between her and I lying the whole time it was over. We were in therapy together at the same time. i went to see what time our app. was one day and looked at the slip in his pocket...and her new phone number was on it. Who writes their lovers number on their marriage couensling app. card?! Anyway, it has been a year now. I am 95% certain he has not cheated again. I am just so unhappy. I dont want to be touched by him. I am sick of his baby ways. We have no kids at home now and I work nights. I come home tired and STILL have to make his breakfast. No matter what is going on in my life I have to have his supper ready. He is the kind of husband who thinks he should call the shots. This no longer works for me after all the affairs. I feel I gave the best of me the first years of our marriage and was payed back in the worst way. He works on the farm all day and into the evening. NOT ONCE since I have been back have we gone to dinner, out to visit anyone...ect. But apparently when he had the other woman there they drank margarita's and grilled out. But if I ask to do that he is "busy". Not long after I got back he started bugging me to have a threesome with another woman. I feel he just wanted to cheat again but wants to involve me...and since I said no..our sex life went downhill. Wich I really didnt care about cuz I didnt want to have sex anyway. I just at this point want to move back home. Work on myself. Spend time with my kids and grandkids. I live three hours from them and he doesnt like me to go visit them and everytime I do it is a fight. In ffour years my dad died. My mother died and then 2 months later my step dad of 30 years died. My husband had multiple affairs. I feel I have so many emotional problems I need to work on to get healthy and that I cant do it here with him. I am so unhappy


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

You have every reason to be unhappy. So why are you still there?

Pack your stuff and leave. Just leave when he's out working so that you do not have to put up with any of his nonsense.

If you need help moving furnature, etc. you will need to arrange that. 

But just leave.


----------

