# A question for the girls..........



## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

Hello Ladies: I am soon to be 53 years old. I am still having regular periods - no signs of menopause at all - no hot flashes, etc. I went for my regular yearly pap yesterday. My doctor I'd had for years retired, so I saw a new doctor. She was so very nice. She came in and talked to me a good while before the exam. She asked questions about my periods and I told her that I was still having regular periods. She asked what I was using for birth control. I laughed. She said, Karole, I'm serious - are you using any form of birth control? I said, no. I went off the pill when I turned 50 and haven't been using anything since then. I told her that I thought I was too old to get pregnant - that I figured all my eggs were dried up!! LOL! Anyway, she suggested I get back on the pill or get an IUD. She told me my chances of getting pregnant were slim, but not zero. I chose the pill, but I'm not to thrilled to get back on them. Did any of you ladies take the pill past 50 years of age? I honestly haven't been worried in the least about getting pregnant for the last 3 years. My husband and I have sex regularly and I haven't gotten pregnant yet, so I honestly don't think it will happen. But, God help me, I'd shoot myself if I did!!


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## Hope Shimmers (Jul 10, 2015)

I just turned 51 and am like you - absolutely no sign of menopause anywhere on the horizon. My mom was around 60 before hitting menopause so I don't expect this to change anytime soon.

Right at this exact moment I have no sex life to speak of because I don't have a partner, but if I did, I would not consider the pill at my age. I just feel it's too risky. 

Do you have any risk factors such as smoking, obesity, heart disease etc? If so, you should definitely NOT be on it, IMO.

As for getting pregnant - I did, in my mid-40's (despite birth control) so don't rule it out.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

A friend of my ex-MIL had her last child at the ripe old age of 55, nearly killed her, poor thing. She wasn't on the pill because ...... well I have no idea. Ladies in her social circles just didn't talk about such things. I don't blame you for being hesitant to go back on the pill, but there are alternatives. It may be harder to conceive past a certain age, but you run the risk of pregnancy, as well as possible miscarriages.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Funny you should ask, because I've been looking into this since I'm 48. 

On the one hand, if you WANT to get pregnant in your mid to late 40's, you are told it is next to impossible to do so without some sort of fertility treatments, etc., and even then most pregnancies are spontaneously aborted (miscarriages).

On the other hand, if you ask about foregoing birth control, you are told NO! You'll get pregnant!

I don't use birth control anymore because I got sick of it, and they used to tell women you're at greater risk of blood clots and whatnot if you use the pill after 35. I think they've changed that guidance now, but I prefer not to. We use condoms if we want to finish that way, but we generally don't. I'm in peri-menopause, though I hardly feel any symptoms, just the tiniest of hot flashes and lots of time between periods.


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## Hope Shimmers (Jul 10, 2015)

norajane said:


> I don't use birth control anymore because I got sick of it, and they used to tell women you're at greater risk of blood clots and whatnot if you use the pill after 35. I think they've changed that guidance now


Now they say up to age 50 IF there are no risk factors and no symptoms of menopause. Use of those hormones in post-menopause has been associated with some pretty nasty cardiovascular events that aren't compatible with life.


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## hotshotdot (Jul 28, 2015)

I'm looking to get the Mirena IUD. Been using Nuvaring & love it but I have to take it out when we have sex or it'll cause hubby to get sore. The Mirena is safer because it doesn't have all the hormones that BC pills & the Nuvaring do. I also like the idea of not having a period at all which is common with Mirena. By the time they take it out in 5 years maybe I won't even need BC!


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

Hope Shimmers said:


> I just turned 51 and am like you - absolutely no sign of menopause anywhere on the horizon. My mom was around 60 before hitting menopause so I don't expect this to change anytime soon.
> 
> Right at this exact moment I have no sex life to speak of because I don't have a partner, but if I did, I would not consider the pill at my age. I just feel it's too risky.
> 
> ...


The doctor asked when my mother went through menopause, but my mom had a complete hysterectomy at the age of 30, so that was no help. My grandmother (my mom's mother) had her last baby at the age of 49, so she was older when she went through menopause. 

I do not have any risks as far as smoking, obesity or heart disease. My dad had heart disease, but he was a smoker. 

Don't know if I am going to take the pills or not. I'm going to think about it and do some research. The pills she gave me are a very low dose of estrogen and progesterone. My husband has NEVER been a fan of condoms.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

norajane said:


> Funny you should ask, because I've been looking into this since I'm 48.
> 
> On the one hand, if you WANT to get pregnant in your mid to late 40's, you are told it is next to impossible to do so without some sort of fertility treatments, etc., and even then most pregnancies are spontaneously aborted (miscarriages).
> 
> ...



^This^

I am newly single and just had my annual check up at the Gyno and she asked about sex and birth control. I am not currently dating so I hadn't given it a thought. My Ex had a vasectomy years ago so I stopped thinking about it and thought that since I am over 40 that getting pregnant would be [email protected] near impossible without fertility treatments, but nope! I had my hormone panel done and had and my levels are still going strong. Oh well, I'd be using condoms anyway, but now will have to figure what method of birth control I will be using when the time comes


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

I would look into other options beyond the birth control pill because it can put you at a higher risk for heart attack or stroke, based on age alone. My aunt's good friend recently had a heart attack at 54 after she started taking the birth control pill again. I'm personally not a fan of fake hormones anyways, so I would avoid it no matter what. IUDs come with major risks(can be life threatening) too, so I wouldn't go that route either. 

What about doing Natural Family Planning(NFP)? Your chance of pregnancy is low no matter what and this would be a hormone free way of preventing any oops pregnancy. Fake chemicals/hormones that can really mess up your body. Even the copper IUD has a number of issues, including copper toxicity that people have been complaining about. NFP is pretty easy and normally I wouldn't recommend it for someone who knows they are done having children, but at 50+ it should work just fine for you and your husband. The Creighton method of NFP should work well or you can look into other methods as well.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

I am 45, no birth control. My H uses a condom because the risk are too great for me. My daughter's bestfriend mum got pregnant their last year of HS. I was given a stern warning about unprotected sex and having a baby at my age. lol

So, encourage your h to use a condom. Saver for us than any other form.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I have a friend who was later 40's... she got divorced.. went on the pill & shortly after developed a blood clot...very scary..

I would go for the natural family planning to avoid anything hormonal if I was in your shoes.. just avoid the risky days & use the best feeling condoms you can find (but sounds your husband doesn't like this idea).. 

Not many seem to care for the non-hormonal copper IUD.. but that's my preferred birth control...very pleased with it...I plan to keep it in till the eggs are all gone, dried up & dead.


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## Hope Shimmers (Jul 10, 2015)

Condoms are just evil. I hate them, personally. So I get it.

I agree with the previous posts though - except that I would add that the natural planning option might eventually not work as well as you were counting on, when you get into perimenopause and your cycles aren't as predictable. Right now I can set my clock to my cycles, for example, but I could never predict when that might just go a little haywire when perimenopause hits me.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

Im 47 and on my third mirena iud. LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!! Zero complications and no more periods. It'll be interesting to see how I figure out when menopause has hit lol.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Hi karole. I'm in the same boat!

50 years old, definitely in peri-menopause, but no signs of menopause on the horizon. My periods are still on-time although the flow and duration has changed somewhat.

I tried the pill (again) last year and could not stand the way I felt on it. So into the garbage they went!

Since neither of us can stand condoms, I use spermicidal foam (not the most effective - 85% without a condom) and avoid intercourse during the time of my cycle when I know I am ovulating. I still track my cycles with a Basal Thermometer so I can tell things are still humming along like clockwork.

I'll admit it's not the most reliable method, but at my age (and his!) I'm not overly concerned. And I hate to admit, but sometimes we still revert to the old withdrawal method... .


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

I will be 53 years old in January - so I think my chances of getting pregnant are slim to none! HA! My husband and I have been having sex 2-3 times a week or more since I turned 50 w/o any protection at all. So, I still can't decide if I'm going to try the pills or not.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

karole said:


> I will be 53 years old in January - so I think my chances of getting pregnant are slim to none! HA! My husband and I have been having sex 2-3 times a week or more since I turned 50 w/o any protection at all. So, I still can't decide if I'm going to try the pills or not.


Why not try the spermicide foam? It's 85% more protection than your current method .


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

happy as a clam said:


> Why not try the spermicide foam? It's 85% more protection than your current method .


I may do that happy!! I've never used that before. I was on the pill til I turned 50 and that's the only type of birth control we ever used.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

I'm 51 with no signs menopause either but my husband has had a vasectomy. I don't think at my age I would go on the pill though. Another thought is if you keep track of your period and its pretty regular then you could just not have sex on those days you might be ovulating but that might throw out having sex 2-3 times a week.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

The best method of birth control for an advanced age is "the bucket method".

It has limitations though. You have to have sex standing up with the male standing on a bucket. Kinda tricky.

When you see his eyes start to roll back just kick the bucket from underneath him.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Ah the freedom of menopause, love it. I was thinking of going back on the pill when I was about 47 but fortunately at almost 49 I have completely done peri and menopause with barely a symptom. 

When I was considering the pill a couple of years back the Dr was not in favour due to potential risks at this age. Good luck with whatever you choose.


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## RideofmyLife (Dec 18, 2015)

I know two ladies in my circle of friends/friends of friends that have gotten pregnant over 50 years of age. I wouldn't take the chance!


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

I'm just over 60 now and am only 6 months into not having my period. I haven't used birth control since about age 48, but got pregnant at 50 (!). The pregnancy wasn't viable, so I wasn't faced with that. (Don't even want to think about it now.)

Even after that crazy late pregnancy, I didn't use any birth control and never had a recurrence. My gyn said the chances were so close to zero that it seemed ludicrous to keep using anything.

I know, I know that the pregnancy gives the lie to all of the advice, but I went another 10+ years without a problem.


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## Threeblessings (Sep 23, 2015)

Just want to say I'm 37 and your lives rock compared to mine. Menopause or not.


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## Heatherknows (Aug 21, 2015)

I'm 47 and rarely have sex. When I do we use the pull-out method. I've been doing this for years and never gotten pregnant. I'm assuming I'm not all that fertile. I get my period regularly and don't seem to have any signs of peri-menopause.


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

Heatherknows said:


> I'm 47 and rarely have sex. When I do we use the pull-out method. I've been doing this for years and never gotten pregnant. I'm assuming I'm not all that fertile. I get my period regularly and don't seem to have any signs of peri-menopause.


My husband would not like that method for the long term I'm afraid. Not sure I would either.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

karole said:


> My husband would not like that method for the long term I'm afraid. Not sure I would either.


Agree, neither would my guy. But we DO use the withdrawal method during the week that I know I am ovulating. We can get quite "creative" with it once in awhile .
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

I'm so very afraid of losing my sex drive after menopause. I've read a lot about it and it seems to be a common occurrence - some just lose their drive, some abstain because it's painful, etc. etc. My sex life is very important to me - and my husband - I don't want to lose it any time soon. I hope I'm like Alte Dame and have periods til I'm 60 - which isn't that far away - 7 years. Of course, my husband could have difficulties too, but there seems to be a lot more help out there for men. We have agreed that we are going to make the best of it while we are able - old age be damned!!


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