# Why am I feeling sorry for him? He cheated!



## DG3 (Jul 13, 2011)

This only the first week since I discovered he was having an EA, weird online life, sexting, who knows what else. So my emotions are all over the map. I am struggling with moments of feeling sorry for him! I fight the urge to hug him! I don't know what is wrong with me. I'm not a person who regularly gets angry so I guess holding on to anger is hard. Although I can definitely get angry if I think of what he did. He is claiming he is getting help, blah blah blah. I told him I will believe it when I see it. He is still in the house. I still talk to him regularly. We still eat dinner together as a family. Going on a family vacation next month. I am just not sure why I still have these feelings come over me. If there were no kids involved it would be easy to kick him out. I want to go easy on the kids but I just don't understand my feelings. I guess I should go easy on myself and realize I'm going to go through many stages. Maybe this is just one in the long line of weird stages I will have to endure. Anyone else go through this?


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

DG3, you are likely in shock, and nothing is wrong with you at all. Your trust in him has been shattered and it really is disorienting. If you both can find it in you to work past this there may still be a future but it WILL BE HARD WORK on both your parts, it will take a LONG TIME for you to have any trust in him again, and so he needs to go the distance to prove he is trying to get past this. First thing is first, he gives up all his privacy and lets you ask whatever you need... see

Betrayed Spouse Bill of Rights « betrayed but recovering


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## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

I believe it's normal to feel. Many, many BS have wild, passionate sex very shortly after discovering their WS affairs! It's called hysterical binding (look it up). Your desire to reach out and comfort him is because you love(d) him, plain and simple. Maybe even some deep-seated desire to "re-claim" him...Your emotions are raw and on edge, as Lon said, you are in shock and basically disoriented emotionally. Over time, you will gain your bearings... 

Caring for him is one thing; trusting him is another. That is for you to work through and sort out as to what's going ot ultimately happen.


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## meplus3bg (Jul 13, 2011)

I had these same feelings at first too, you are in shock all different types of emotions will hit you, its going to be difficult but you can get through it


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