# Keeping up appearances...husbands and wives...



## CalifGuy (Nov 2, 2011)

So, what do you do to keep yourself looking/feeling good not only for yourself but also for your partner?

Aging is a natural process, but letting one go by the wayside does not have to be. I was recently watching a comedy special and the comedian was a fit, good looking 40 year old guy who looked great for his age and in interacting with the audience, he asked one guy how old he was. The audience member, who looked 50 years old, responded "I am 42 years old" to the shock of the comedian whose response was "So, when did you give up on yourself?!"

I don't think the comedian was picking on the audience member but it was truly a shock to see that here were two men separated by just two years, yet they looked 15 years apart and it seemed like a legitimate quesion, "When did you give up on yourself?"

That got me to wondering how many people just give up on themselves and the affect it has on their marriage, particularly if only one half of the relationship gives up. This same issue cost me my first marriage when I wasn't ready, at 35 years old, to give up on myself or, especially, to allow my first wife to give up on herself, not while married to me, which prompted me to leave and start all over again, becoming single for the first time since I met her as a 22 year old university student.

One other disturbing image pops to mind and that was three weeks ago, moments before running the NYC Marathon when people desperate for a bathroom will go anywhere. Anyway, long story short, I ended up urinating about 15 feet across from another guy who was urinating outside and I was horrified at the amount of pubic hair the guy had...if somebody dropped a match in there it would have been a three alarm fire! All I could think of is if the guy was in a relationship that I doubt he was getting much, if any, oral sex performed on him.

Other times that stand out include reconnecting with old high school classmates on Facebook. Probably only 1 out of 3 people or so (Class of '89) have taken good care of themselves, while many others have completely let themselves go. I am Facebook friends with two women who I had a crush on in high school but whom I never dated and while one still looks very good, the other, a former cheerleader, is pushing 200 pounds and, as a result, looks 5 years older than the other one!

Personally, I think it is important to keep one's appearance up not only for one's partner but also for oneself. 

I do wonder how many men turn to porn because the physical attraction is completely gone with his partner and how many women are not nearly as interested in sex as before because her partner has let himself go? It seems like it is the pink elephant in the room that is not often discussed in here and when it is, more often than not, those who judge another's appearance are thought of as "shallow."

While very few people are supermodels, I do think it would only help couples if both at least gave a moderate amount of attention to appearance and fitness. 

What are some of the things that you all do to keep your appearance in check and does your partner reciprocate?

Personally, although I would much rather just be a couch potato and eat whenever and whatever I want, I run more today than I ever have and do kickboxing classes and occasional crossfit classes at the same gym I have belonged to for the last 19 years. During my time at the gym, my weight has fluctuated anywhere from 157 pounds (low) to 270 pounds (high) when I couldn't even workout without stopping every few minutes.

Besides that, manscaping is a must, and courtesy of lasering, my formerly very hairy chest is now about 75% less with finer hair. 

My one bad habit is biting my nails and my wife hates it and it something I need to stop doing and get back in the habit of accompanying her to mani/pedi appointments. Also, my toenails are usually black and blue from running and my DW would prefer that I would paint them black but it just feels/looks weird to do so.

I very much appreciate that my wife always has a nice mani/pedi, always keeps her long hair looking great, wears makeup daily and even has her makeup done once every couple months or so when we are going to a wedding or important event, and that she is usually in heels and a sexy dress when we go out. I also appreciate that she went from non-runner when we met to running about 10 marathons in just a two year span (26.2 miles is a marathon) and I have run all but two of them every step of the way with her. While she is done with marathons for now, and isn't even as committed to the gym as she has been in the past, I do see that she tries her best to keep her appearance looking good and very much cares what I think of her appearance.

I'd be most interested to hear about other couples...I am sure this is far less important to many out there but I also wonder what impact this has on the marriage, particularly if it is more important to one partner than the other. Any and all responses will be greatly appreciated.


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## Patricia B. Pina (Nov 22, 2011)

Sex is the most important thing in our relationship.

We just can't get enough of it.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How many children do you and your wife have living at home with you full time?


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## Darkhorse (Dec 3, 2011)

A LOT has to do with genetics. I got my mom's side of the family's genes (thank you GOD) and we look young no matter what. My mom is 65 and looks about 45. People marvel at her skin, her hair, everything. I am on that route....which is good because my sister got my dad's side of the family's genes.....and even though she's 5 years younger, everyone always assumes she's older.

We both eat right, keep our weight in check and take care of our hygiene and grooming habits. You can't fight genetics though


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

A few weeks ago, my husband's cousin came to visit us, what he said made me think, " You are already married, you can gain some weight." "You are already married, you don't need to look good!"

I was amused, but didn't say anything.

I think after you get married, keeping in shape is important, looking good is important. It is not only good for our confidence, but also good for our health. And we need to look good to get our spouses excited about us. It is even more important.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I feel the attraction aspect of marrage is very very important, I would even say it fuels the sex life for the majority! 

I hesitate to even post on the weight threads anymore, I would be reduced to a purely "shallow" poster. It is good that me & my husband are on the same page in these things, that is all that matters. We know what we like & we strive to keep the other happy, I know I care a hell of alot about HIS DESIRE. We like the lights on ! We installed a big mirror not too long ago in our bedroom, we spent so many years in the dark under the covers due to my damn hang ups -so now we are enjoying the light & the view. 

We should exercise more but we are confessed slackers -Sex is what gets our hearts pumping every day. Riding Bikes, taking walks in the woods. I likely couldn't run a lap around a football feild without my side killing me. We NEED to start doing more sit ups, we did for a time, shame shame on us. 

I think alot is related to family genes, metabolism (mine is high)our overall attitudes, our emotional connectedness in marraige even- it shows on our faces. My husband is nearing 50, still a full head of hair, a decently flat stomach, I feel he looks fantastic for his age. Most are surprised we could possibly have this many kids & one in college. Makes you feel good -especially when you hate getting older, I don't like the #'s, who wants to celebrate birthdays, not I ! I want to go back in time, mentally I am much younger. When my husband says he is getting old, I want to slap him.

He does not manscape, he has never had alot of hair on his chest - so compared to other men, which I wouldn't know anyway, I bet he is pretty bare down there too. It works for me! 

It is important for me to dye my hair, have make up on, look good when I leave the house, I do like dresses, heels, nice jeans, I do my own finger nails. I do not spend big bucks on hair treatments, manacures, or tanning or anything like that. I am a do it yourselfer in near all ways -except for the occasional hair cut.

I give my husband a handful of vitamins every day and try to watch what HE eats, but I don't worry about myself. I am an atrocious eater personally, this will likey catch up to me. I am a ball of energy, even though I don't eat right, I feel wonderful. Another bad habit I need to work on.


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## Sawney Beane (May 1, 2011)

CalifGuy said:


> I'd be most interested to hear about other couples...I am sure this is far less important to many out there but I also wonder what impact this has on the marriage, particularly if it is more important to one partner than the other. Any and all responses will be greatly appreciated.


Sounds like you want a medal!

OK, I do the gym twice / week, run twice / week, one or sometimes two jiu jitsu classes / week.
Wife: gym three times / week two karate classes.

Each of us is capable of pulling a limb off the other and beating them with the wet end, but so what?

Manscaping? I'm half Romani Gypsy - I wouldn't need a laser, it'd take a combined harvester! Anyway, Mrs Beane thinks manscaping is at best "sad and metrosexual" and at worse "noncy and poofteresque" (her words, not mine). She trims down below but thinks shaving / waxing the whole lot off is creepy and pandering to an infantalism she thinks is wrong.

What we do is largely for our own benefit, the fact that the other likes it is a bonus.


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

Ladies, be sure to arm yourself with this advice when you begin wearing makeup and wearing nice clothes for your husband when he comes home. "It's all for you, sweetie", even though he might post here later about his wife suddenly becoming interested in her appearance. She must be cheating! 
I should not even kid about such a serious issue.

I think each partner can play against each other. compliments when one does make an effort do go a long way. 

My H is a typical. He's not in need of a big visual experience. Just not wired that way. He won't even notice a new hair cut. 

What he notices is whether or not I'm smiling or seem happy. I can be rolled out of bed all half asleep, and he will say "you look cute". Because I got a good sleep and I look rested and happy. Go figure.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

greenpearl said:


> A few weeks ago, my husband's cousin came to visit us, what he said made me think, " You are already married, you can gain some weight." "You are already married, you don't need to look good!"
> 
> I was amused, but didn't say anything.
> 
> I think after you get married, keeping in shape is important, looking good is important. It is not only good for our confidence, but also good for our health. And we need to look good to get our spouses excited about us. It is even more important.


After we married, a male colleague saw me cutting up fruit to eat and jokingly said "You're married, you don't have to eat that anymore. He loves you for who you are. You can get fat now." I jokingly replied "Yeah and then my husband will be getting me work-out clothes for our anniversary." I didn't think too much of this at the time as it was just silly passing commentary, but there's truth in it.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

heartsbeating said:


> After we married, a male colleague saw me cutting up fruit to eat and jokingly said "You're married, you don't have to eat that anymore. He loves you for who you are. You can get fat now." I jokingly replied "Yeah and then my husband will be getting me work-out clothes for our anniversary." I didn't think too much of this at the time as it was just silly passing commentary, but there's truth in it.


I think people sometimes misuse this sentence. The woman he fell in love with is one woman who is responsible for herself. If I let go of myself and become fat and sloppy, according to his opinion, I am not being responsible. This is not the woman he chose to marry. Watching out our figure is something we can control. If it is something uncontrollable, that's different.


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## JustAMan2 (Oct 28, 2011)

Put me down with the "do what you can with what you've got" crowd. I've never understood people who drastically let themselves go after marriage.

My wife keeps herself in pretty good shape, although she does get a bit sloppy with her clothes "around the house". I like her in jeans and nice fitting top. If we go out, she knows what I like and will many times accommodate. But, she does it mostly for herself, not for me.

Me? I lift weights; do cardio 2-3 nights a week. I'm not a big sports fan (as in spectator), but I do PARTICIPATE in several sports that gets my heart pumping. Genetics blessed me with a full head of hair and very elastic skin (thank you God!!) so my age is usually guessed around 5-10 years younger than I actually am.

I don't stay in shape for my wife though, I do it for ME. I feel better and have a better attitude when I'm in shape. I've been working out for 30+ years now and like the athletic build it has given me.

If I "did it for my wife" then I suppose, given our marriage, I would have given up years ago. But that's another story....


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

I wouldn't care to judge another or assume anything about why they might be the way they are. I do think it's good to keep up attraction for our spouse. Of course the physical plays a part for many of us but there's more to attraction that just this. 

Over a span of 16 years, I've gained around 13lbs. I'm not skinny, I'm curvaceous with small/average frame. I plan on working off a few pounds for my own benefit. We walk/jog together as it helps motivate one another. He often flirts with me or will purposely run ahead just so that he can look back and admire the, ahem, movement of watching me jog. I LOVE that he flirts with me when we exercise. He finds my intention with working-out as sexy. Not just because of the physical benefits, it's because *he finds the state of mind behind these actions alluring*. My weight is kept reasonably balanced because of what I'm happy with for myself. He loves to cook, I don't count calories. I know he couldn't be with someone on a very restrictive caloric diet. Food is a celebration for us and something to be enjoyed - but we don't eat junk food. 

For him, being active, being engaged with life, taking pride in yourself (regardless of size) is more attractive and sexy to him than a particular body shape or size. 

I'm a girly-girl who likes makeup and heels. I drink lots of green tea and water. I try to eat healthily because my body feels good when I do. This is for me, this isn't for my husband. My legs are always smooth, I enjoy wearing perfume that he smells when he's close, my hair is shiny and in great condition. I don't tan or fake tan. I keep my nails looking healthy and natural - just a clear shine. 

Hubs will compliment me when I've made the least effort too. When I have no makeup on, hair pulled back into a ponytail and wearing sweats. I'll do this if we've gone for a jog before stopping at a cafe for breakfast. I usually feel self-conscious going out like this but he says he loves to see my relaxed, natural beauty. 

He shaves his face (although I am partial to a slightly unkept look), he knows how to iron a shirt well and ensures his shoes are polished. When he gained a small amount of weight last year, he hit the gym and got back into shape. He drinks lots of water and eats quite healthily. He always smells good without drenching himself in cologne. I like that if he's 'taking me out' he makes sure the car is clean inside and out. I'd never think anything if it wasn't but I find it endearing that he considers this. And of course, it's his attitude and confidence above everything that is most appealing to me.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

I am not trying to offend anyone in particular. 

In my opinion, I think people who are heavy and sloppy lazy. They make me feel they are lazy. Or they lack self-control ability!


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## annagarret (Jun 12, 2011)

The OP is really great. My husband and I met when we were 14 and were married by 22. We are now 40. It's cute because I knew him with no facial/chest hair to full beard etc. and now bald. He knew me as a little petite blonde cheerleader, gain weight with 4 babies, a few frumpy years and now looking good again. 

I actually love all the changes, well except for me, it's endearing. For me I have always kept my hair long and blonde, I have a big chest so I always keep the girls high and tight. I dress appropriately around the kids and work but if he takes me out I want to look sexy by wearing heels, sexy top and skirt, what I call "porn eye makeup" and big earrings and perfume of course. He has always told me I look good all natural too. He tells me he appreciates that I take the effort to look good for him. I think it really touches his heart. I guess I just don't want to become another middle age women who gets fat, cuts her hair and wears holiday sweaters........


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## CalifGuy (Nov 2, 2011)

wifeofhusband said:


> The last two are a choice, so that's easy. I'm not there yet with the age but hear that the middle age weight gain around the middle is unavoidable for women due to hormones. No idea if that is true or not. I plan to remain active and make sure I go into it in good shape so hopefully that will help. I guess I'll find out.


Hmmmm...I am a runner and there are plenty of women I see while running my marathons or half marathons who are in their 40's and 50's (and beyond!) who do not have the weight gain around the middle. Now either these women were not born with such hormones or it is because they actually get off their a$$e$ and exercise frequently while likely watching what they eat.

My brother and I are separated by just 15 months (I am 40 and he is 39) and pretty much have the same diet, yet he outweighs me by 100 pounds. But, I doubt it has less to do with a hormonal difference and has EVERYTHING to do with the fact that, as little as I may like it sometimes, I typically workout 4 to 5 times a week.

Hormones!
:lol::rofl:


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

CalifGuy,

How many hours a week to do you put into your workout and running program? Do you have children living with you full time? And how old are you?


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

wifeofhusband said:


> Or they have a medical condition that means they can't help it. Never assume why someone is the way they are.


I absolutely agree! I broke my neck nearly 4 years ago and I now live in severe pain. I'm unable to exercise, which kills me because I use to run 36 miles a week. I try my best to keep the weight off. I keep my hair long and highlighted. I watch what I eat. I did gain 30 pounds, but lost 20 of it through calorie counting in the last year. I need to rest my neck most of the day on the couch or bed. Since the weight loss, I do feel comfortable in my body. My husband is still VERY attracted to me. He shows it and tells me frequently.

It really sucks living in severe pain 24/7! If it wasn't for the support from my pain clinic, husband and the love of my children, I couldn't guarantee that I'd want to keep on living like this. They keep me going and happy day after day. My husband and I are hoping that medical technologies will improve in this area, so I will be better one day.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CalifGuy (Nov 2, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> CalifGuy,
> 
> How many hours a week to do you put into your workout and running program? Do you have children living with you full time? And how old are you?


I workout/run maybe, on average, 8-10 hours a week.

No children but three dogs who I walk 4-5 days a week (and they get walked on my off days).

I am 40 years old and in better shape today than I was at 35 or 30 and maybe even at 25 years old.

When I do have a child with my wife, I guarantee you that I will be pushing that baby around in a running stroller, and, if anything, I will run as much or more as I run today and, chances are, my wife will be there running alongside much of the time. 

Excuses are like a$$****s...everyone has one...but, ultimately, they are still just excuses. No reason why a person cannot spend a few hours a week exercising and they are doing more disservice to themselves, their marriage/spouse and even their children (parents are the primary role models) by NOT exercising and leading an active/healthy lifestyle.

*At one time, just 5 years ago, I was up to 270 pounds and was a lazy piece of $hit...I had no excuse for not exercising...I lived in a beautiful gated community surrounded by mountains with a wonder 1.25 mile bike path/running path that encircled the community, much of it that ran alongside a river, I had no household chores to speak of as my ex-wife and I had a live in housekeeper, yet, following my ex-wife's lead, I quit on myself and after running 3 marathons at the age of 30 years old, partly because I was not strong enough to stand up to my ex-wife who thought I was selfish for exercising, I gained 50 pounds following those marathons and was miserable like my ex-wife (misery loves company and she didn't want to be alone in her misery!) But, even had we had children, it wouldn't have xcused the sedentary and gluttonous lifestyle we led that, ultimately, led to our divorce.


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

CalifGuy said:


> Hmmmm...I am a runner and there are plenty of women I see while running my marathons or half marathons who are in their 40's and 50's (and beyond!) who do not have the weight gain around the middle. Now either these women were not born with such hormones or it is because they actually get off their a$$e$ and exercise frequently while likely watching what they eat.
> 
> My brother and I are separated by just 15 months (I am 40 and he is 39) and pretty much have the same diet, yet he outweighs me by 100 pounds. But, I doubt it has less to do with a hormonal difference and has EVERYTHING to do with the fact that, as little as I may like it sometimes, I typically workout 4 to 5 times a week.
> 
> ...


I probably couldn't find it for the life of me, but there was a study that showed that a moderate waist size growth is almost inevitable in most people. However, this is pretty small if a person exercises correctly and regularly.

I think I was about 29" waist in college, when I first dated my wife. My body fat level is pretty much unchanged. I own my own gym, plus treadmill, and concept 2 rower. I can't get below a 32-33" waist for the life of me.

Its not as much about dedication for me as much as a cellular metabolic problem, but I eat almost no pre-processed foods, and mostly avoid fatty foods and simple carbs. The doc at a research clinic that diagnosed the muscle disease asked me if I'd be willing to see a doctor who was doing some studies in aging and skin. He suggested that the negatives from the cellular metabolic issue are sometimes oddly made up for by very efficient cellular regeneration. 

Basically, when I was 41, he pegged my 'biological" and appearance age at about 26, and they later noted what they called 'long telomeres'. Telomeres normally degrade with age, apparently, and they are part of the cellular replication process. My wife is completely gray, but colors her hair. We're both 46. If I take after my mother, I'd probably get my first gray hairs in the late sixties. The lady who cuts my hair jokes that she hates me because my hair grows so fast and thick. Its very common for people to tell me that I'm too young for the role I have in my career, but I'm an old geezer compared to some of them. All they have to do is put on my progressive lenses, though, and its obvious that I'm old.


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## Darkhorse (Dec 3, 2011)

I had a tumor that fed off estrogen and created its own estrogen. It was brutal. It was about the size of a grapefruit on my ovary. I then had more hormones pumping through my system because of some polyps that distended my uterus to about 5 months pregnant (and I wasn't). I gained almost 25 pounds in 3 months...without change to diet, activity, etc. I had to stop activity for a while because of the pain ...omg the pain...then I had surgery and the weight was gone within a few months.

Hormones can most definitely screw things up. I wonder how many women don't go to the doctor because they don't want bad news...or surgery.

Birth control can also cause weight gain without a woman's change in diet and activity.

Before you mock hormones, do some research.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Darkhorse said:


> I had a tumor that fed off estrogen and created its own estrogen. It was brutal. It was about the size of a grapefruit on my ovary. I then had more hormones pumping through my system because of some polyps that distended my uterus to about 5 months pregnant (and I wasn't). I gained almost 25 pounds in 3 months...without change to diet, activity, etc. I had to stop activity for a while because of the pain ...omg the pain...then I had surgery and the weight was gone within a few months.
> 
> Hormones can most definitely screw things up. I wonder how many women don't go to the doctor because they don't want bad news...or surgery.
> 
> ...


I definately had an issue with birth control pills. EVerytime I started on them I'd gain 15-20 lbs in a few weeks. Get off them and it would go away. I finally just refused to take them.

Hormones are a huge issue.


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## ClosedOff (Nov 30, 2011)

I do some things for my husband, but one thing I haven't done is lose weight. Before our son was born, I used to be lucky in that if I saw my weight going up a bit, I could just cut back on portion sizes and drink low-fat milk instead of whole and I could drop that excess. Now, that doesn't work, and I hate exercising. Plus I'm a stay at home mom with only one car and hubby has it weekdays for work. 
I'm 5'3" and about 150 lbs. It's about 25 lbs more than I want to be. Hubby has very delicately mentioned he wants a change but I feel like I don't have any motivation to do it. I don't want to have to diet or go to the gym. He's a little overweight himself so we're both being unmotivated together I guess.
I do put on makeup for him and keep things trimmed up. 
Of course I just found out I'm pregnant so now there's no point in losing the weight, and I'm not supposed to diet at this point.
Anyway, just a frustration of mine.


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## Patricia B. Pina (Nov 22, 2011)

The appearance is not that important.
What is important is your health.
Do it for your health.


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## ClosedOff (Nov 30, 2011)

Angel5112 said:


> Although these women do “get off their a$$e$”, exercise, and watch what they eat, they would probably still be that thin, just no longer fit, even if they didn’t. They eat healthy so they can run and I highly doubt the sole reason they run is to stay fit. *They, like me and my H, probably run because it is a sport, an addiction, and something we love. We run to race and continually improve our times, not to brag about how many marathons we have ran and certainly not to stay fit.*


Wow thank you Angel! People who brag about how much they exercise drive me nuts...thanks for clearing up WHY runners run...it's not because they are health-conscious, it's because they truly love what they're doing. That's awesome!


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## CalifGuy (Nov 2, 2011)

Angel5112 said:


> Okay, I have to COMPLETELY disagree with you Califguy. I am a runner and I run with a team (Team In Training through The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society). We run 3-5miles 3 days a week and 6-24 miles on Saturdays. Our head coach, who is obviously a runner, is big and stocky. She’s not fat, she’s all muscle and not built like a typical runner at all. She has finished 5 Ironman's, she runs the Brew To Brew (43 miles) solo every year, and she finished these races in good time.


Team In Training? Really? Ok...just to let you in a little secret, Team In Training is a JOKE. They are like a cult that sucks in newbies who have never run before in their lives, "trains" them how to SURVIVE a marathon while requiring them to raise thousands or tens of thousands of dollars, and, those same people who are not turned off by the whole experience go onto become "head coaches" to lead newbies like you.

Team In Training is like a pyramid scheme but not the place to go for even a half serious runner.

Me, I am a Clydesdale runner...that means I am over 200 pounds...I am NOT skinny and look more like a football player or a guy at the bowling alley than I look like a Kenyan. But, my half marathon PR, set just 6 months ago, is a respectable 1:45 (respectable for a 40 year old 200+ pound guy, for sure) and my marathon times are in the low 4's and 10K under 50:00.

But, I remain a Clydesdale runner not because of hormones but because I simply eat too fricking much.

Calories in, Calories out.

While there are a few exceptions to the rule, the far most common reason why people are overweight, myself included, is not because of hormones but because of not following the calories in, calories out formula (I'd love to be 20+ pounds less but not ready to make the sacrifice).

Do yourself a favor and find a different running club...one that doesn't squeeze money out of you and make you the most obnoxious person that your friends and family dread when you hit them all up for donations! And, do me and other runners a favor and remind your fellow purple runners in TNT to not walk or run 3 or 4 runners across!

Go Team!!!


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I would love to weigh less. I like beer too much though.


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## CalifGuy (Nov 2, 2011)

Angel5112 said:


> Wow CalifGuy. I wasn't aware that raising money for Leukemia & Lymphoma was joke.


So how's that curing cancer thing going for you???:scratchhead:

Last time I checked, there was, what, a 17 hour time limit to complete an Ironman? Hmmm...ride a bike @ 12.5mph for 9 hours, swim @1mph for 2 hours and still have 6 hours left to run a marathon. Whatever floats one's boat, I guess.


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## brat30 (Dec 7, 2011)

Im 29, I am eatting healthy and exercizing everyday My husband is 52, His health is good (probually because he's with me!) lol


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## Darkhorse (Dec 3, 2011)

I don't work out. I just eat proportions that are normal, and not American. lol. I don't eat processed foods or fast foods. I don't do anything "diet" food either. My work out is in bed every night  Rawr.

I did ask husband for a stationary bike though. I might as well burn some extra calories while I veg out every night.


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## brat30 (Dec 7, 2011)

I eat what I want but in small doeses and exercize i think dietiing is stupid and it cuts out things that you most likely need then nessary dont need.


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## Darkhorse (Dec 3, 2011)

Angel5112 said:


> I give up CalifGuy. You are insufferable.


And perfect, apparently. :rofl:


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

It's genetics more than anything else!!

In today's society a white bright smile is paramount some people have money for that other don't! 

For men a full head of hair makes a huge difference no one will mistake a Brad Pitt for a Ron Howard and hair is much of the reason.

Dark colored skin handles the sun better hence why many dark complected people have less wrinkles than many caucasians do.

All you can do on you own is really try to keep a nice weight and hygiene everything else is predetermined for the most part.

I work with people who are 25 and look 35 completely bald etc. Some others are 55 and look 45............not a whole lot you can do about it.


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## romantic_guy (Nov 8, 2011)

Darkhorse said:


> A LOT has to do with genetics. I got my mom's side of the family's genes (thank you GOD) and we look young no matter what. My mom is 65 and looks about 45. People marvel at her skin, her hair, everything. I am on that route....which is good because my sister got my dad's side of the family's genes.....and even though she's 5 years younger, everyone always assumes she's older.
> 
> We both eat right, keep our weight in check and take care of our hygiene and grooming habits. You can't fight genetics though


That is very true for us also (take a look at my photo album if you would like; I am 56 she is 55). However, we both work hard at keeping ourselves like the other found us. When we got married at 16 and 17 (she was pregnant) my wife weighed about 100 lbs. Today, 39 years later she is 110 lbs. I was about 135 lbs. and I am about 145 now. We do not smoke, or eat high fat foods and eat mostly complex carbs (she does better that I do at that). I run about 12-15 miles a week and my wife does a combination of yoga and walking/running.

As for body hair, I don't have that much anyway and regarding pubic hair, we both prefer the clean shaven look on the other.

And, I might add, as someone else said, we have plenty of hot sex also.


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## Arnold (Oct 25, 2011)

On the "manscaping", I am afraid I would appear just too large and would frighten people.:smthumbup:


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## Darkhorse (Dec 3, 2011)

Arnold said:


> On the "manscaping", I am afraid I would appear just too large and would frighten people.:smthumbup:


:rofl: People? You plan to just walk around whippin it out everywhere? 

:rofl:


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## annagarret (Jun 12, 2011)

Hope1964 said:


> I would love to weigh less. I like beer too much though.


:rofl::iagree::rofl:


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## Sawney Beane (May 1, 2011)

Arnold said:


> On the "manscaping", I am afraid I would appear just too large and would frighten people.:smthumbup:


Take action quickly! You have no time to lose! Tie a knot in it before you trip yourself up and suffer a permanent injury!


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## Arnold (Oct 25, 2011)

Darkhorse said:


> :rofl: People? You plan to just walk around whippin it out everywhere?
> 
> :rofl:


Something wrong with that?


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## Arnold (Oct 25, 2011)

Sawney Beane said:


> Take action quickly! You have no time to lose! Tie a knot in it before you trip yourself up and suffer a permanent injury!


I use the coiling method.


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## Sawney Beane (May 1, 2011)

Arnold said:


> I use the coiling method.


The wind will change and it'll STAY like that!


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## ClosedOff (Nov 30, 2011)

romantic_guy said:


> ..... When we got married at 16 and 17 (she was pregnant) my wife weighed about 100 lbs. Today, 39 years later she is 110 lbs. I was about 135 lbs. and I am about 145 now. ....


You both must be REALLY short...110 lbs could be anorexic for a woman taller than oh, 5'4" or so...


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## Laurae1967 (May 10, 2011)

greenpearl said:


> I am not trying to offend anyone in particular.
> 
> In my opinion, I think people who are heavy and sloppy lazy. They make me feel they are lazy. Or they lack self-control ability!


No, you are just trying to offend heavy and sloppy people.


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## Arnold (Oct 25, 2011)

ClosedOff said:


> You both must be REALLY short...110 lbs could be anorexic for a woman taller than oh, 5'4" or so...


Keebler elves, perhaps.


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## ClosedOff (Nov 30, 2011)

Arnold said:


> Keebler elves, perhaps.


:rofl: :iagree:


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## Arnold (Oct 25, 2011)

ClosedOff said:


> :rofl: :iagree:


They make a mean pecan sandy.


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## romantic_guy (Nov 8, 2011)

ClosedOff said:


> You both must be REALLY short...110 lbs could be anorexic for a woman taller than oh, 5'4" or so...


I am 5'8" and my wife is 5'2". We are both in the normal healthy range for our height. It is great being this size. Either she or I can be on top without crushing the other, we can by clothing off the rack and it fits, we can sleep in a regular full size bed and be comfortable, we can even be comfortable on a Southwest flight!


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

romantic_guy said:


> I....we can even be comfortable on a Southwest flight!


Unless you sit beside me! Yes, unfortunately, I'm THAT guy. Everybody groans when they see me walking down the aisle. I have to squeeze my shoulders together to be small enough to take up 1.5 seats on Southwest or Airtran. I'm narrow in the waist, but at 22, suddenly went from a normal guy to a freak of nature in the shoulders. At 5' 11", I was 145 lbs when I first dated my wife. Went to 205 lbs in a couple of year's time (I do work out). Thank goodness for Van Heusen slim fit shirts.


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## romantic_guy (Nov 8, 2011)

Arnold said:


> Keebler elves, perhaps.


:rofl:

Actually, we are fairly average in height. I am about 1" under average and my wife is about 2" under. Like I said earlier, take a look at my photo album and judge for yourself.

After, that stop by our hollow tree and have some cookies.


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## Arnold (Oct 25, 2011)

romantic_guy said:


> I am 5'8" and my wife is 5'2". We are both in the normal healthy range for our height. It is great being this size. Either she or I can be on top without crushing the other, we can by clothing off the rack and it fits, we can sleep in a regular full size bed and be comfortable, we can even be comfortable on a Southwest flight!


And, you both come with your own convenient carrying case


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## Arnold (Oct 25, 2011)

Halien said:


> Unless you sit beside me! Yes, unfortunately, I'm THAT guy. Everybody groans when they see me walking down the aisle. I have to squeeze my shoulders together to be small enough to take up 1.5 seats on Southwest or Airtran. I'm narrow in the waist, but at 22, suddenly went from a normal guy to a freak of nature in the shoulders. At 5' 11", I was 145 lbs when I first dated my wife. Went to 205 lbs in a couple of year's time (I do work out). Thank goodness for Van Heusen slim fit shirts.


I challenge you to a "pose down".


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

Arnold said:


> I challenge you to a "pose down".


I wasn't saying that its a good thing, or attractive. Just don't know why my bones grew outward until I look like a linebacker. Posing is definately too 'not me', but maybe we'll run into each other in the ring one day. Last saturday, I sparred with a young kid who was a naval academy grad. I think his squadron tat is permanently ingrained into my left cheek, judging from how it felt when it was over. I've finally decided that the definition of midlife crisis is when you shift from judging your sparring partners based on who you could beat to a gauge of which ones just won't pound you into a pile of sludge.


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## CalifGuy (Nov 2, 2011)

Romantic Guy...looks like Desire Riviera Maya to me! How about sharing the majority of the photos where you two are butt nekkid!!! lol

Honeymooned there with my wife and had a great time.

Are you two in the lifestyle or just exhibitionists?


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Arnold said:


> And, you both come with your own convenient carrying case


Let's see your photo then. Romantic Guy looks smokin' hot for his age. He rocks 56.


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## CalifGuy (Nov 2, 2011)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Romantic Guy looks smokin' hot for his age. He rocks 56.


As do most men and women in the lifestyle...when my wife and I were at Desire Cancun, there were attractive couples in their late 40's and early 50's that we seriously considered hooking up with...but, ultimately we stuck to couples closer to our age.

If and when we ever return to the lifestyle, we will have to be in tip top shape as nobody wants to be the fat kid who is the last one picked to play! lol


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

CalifGuy said:


> As do most men and women in the lifestyle...when my wife and I were at Desire Cancun, there were attractive couples in their late 40's and early 50's that we seriously considered hooking up with...but, ultimately we stuck to couples closer to our age.
> 
> If and when we ever return to the lifestyle, we will have to be in tip top shape as nobody wants to be the fat kid who is the last one picked to play! lol


Don't recall him ever saying he was a swinger. Eh, not my thing, just thought he would appreciate a compliment after someone else mocked him.


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## romantic_guy (Nov 8, 2011)

CalifGuy said:


> Romantic Guy...looks like Desire Riviera Maya to me! How about sharing the majority of the photos where you two are butt nekkid!!! lol
> 
> Honeymooned there with my wife and had a great time.
> 
> Are you two in the lifestyle or just exhibitionists?


We are not into the lifestyle and I guess I don't see having pics of us as exhibitionists. It is no different that being anywhere on the beach and my wife is not wearing a skimpy bikini. Although she wore one, NO ONE is going to see a pic of that (or butt nekkid either I might add!)

We were at El Dorado Royale and we are members there. It is Gourmet all inclusive and it is AWESOME!! Hope to go again next year!


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## Arnold (Oct 25, 2011)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Don't recall him ever saying he was a swinger. Eh, not my thing, just thought he would appreciate a compliment after someone else mocked him.


I am sure he is a fine speciman. I am from NYC. We show affection by ribbing. Seems like a good guy. Inflection does not come across on the internet. ( I am 4'11,BTW).


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## romantic_guy (Nov 8, 2011)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Let's see your photo then. Romantic Guy looks smokin' hot for his age. He rocks 56.


Thanks!! Although I think it is my wife who looks smokin' hot, especially at 55 years old!!


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

Darkhorse said:


> I had a tumor that fed off estrogen and created its own estrogen. It was brutal. It was about the size of a grapefruit on my ovary. I then had more hormones pumping through my system because of some polyps that distended my uterus to about 5 months pregnant (and I wasn't). I gained almost 25 pounds in 3 months...without change to diet, activity, etc. I had to stop activity for a while because of the pain ...omg the pain...then I had surgery and the weight was gone within a few months.
> 
> Hormones can most definitely screw things up. I wonder how many women don't go to the doctor because they don't want bad news...or surgery.
> 
> ...


According to Greenpearl, you simply have no self control and you are lazy! 

This would be a happier and more compassionate world if people stopped making negative assumptions. 

It's just like those who think that EVERY welfare recipient is a bum or drug addict. What about women who are leaving abusive situations or the working poor? 

I make a special effort to look sexy for my dear husband. I use perfume that I know he likes and buy the corsets which drive my hubby wild in the bedroom. I find them uncomfortable, but I wear them to give my husband a thrill. Besides, corsets make my boobs look AMAZING. They almost hit me in the eye! :rofl:


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## anna garret 01 (Jan 22, 2012)

I don't know , maybe I am a hopeless romantic, my DH and I have been together since we were 14. We are now 41 and have 4 kids. I still see him as this hot football player, and he still loves my blonde hair and big boobs...I sometimes think we have rose colored glasses on cause now he is bald and has a cute tummy, and I have also gained some tummy weight. I love him so much, he still looks so awesome to me...


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

anna garret 01 said:


> I don't know , maybe I am a hopeless romantic, my DH and I have been together since we were 14. We are now 41 and have 4 kids. *I still see him as this hot football player, and he still loves my blonde hair and big boobs...I sometimes think we have rose colored glasses on cause now he is bald and has a cute tummy, and I have also gained some tummy weight. I love him so much, he still looks so awesome to me.*..


:iagree::iagree:

Love makes imperfections beautiful, doesn't it? 

My husband and I have both gained "married bellies" since we met five years ago. He has lost some hair while I am just beginning to find grey ones.

He still gazes at me like I am the most beautiful woman in the world. 

I am trying to lose weight and so far, I feel so much better since changing my eating habits. 

I have not lost weight, yet I have lost two inches on my waist. :scratchhead:


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