# Ladies i need your input pls!



## Colombianog30 (Jul 22, 2017)

Hi ladies... i have been married to my wife for 5 years. Everything was good at the beginning and i always had in the bavk of my mind that i was not really good on bed. We are about 13 years apart ( she is 44 i am 31)Anyway, we have not had sex for 3 years, my fault because:
1) i got caught in lies about chatting with girls.
2) i took some steroids when i was working out and that messed up my hormones and i lost my sex drive ( would not stay erect)
3) i have gone to doctors but feel ashamed and just embarrased of my problem and just put thinga under the rug.

Well last conversarion we had, i messed up and ahe basically told me she can not truat me anyomore and she does not care about our relationship and she would start talking to other man as i was talking to other girla before. Part of me feels like it is inmaturity from my part. But anyway, lately i had the feeling that she had been talking to other man. Yesterday i confronted her ( bc yes i do get jealous) and she told me she needs people to vent of ( i honestly do not know if she has met with someone while i am work, but i found an calendar with her and a guy that i have no idea for a lunch meeting which she nevrr told me about) i am guessing they having phone sex or something like that. She even mentioned the guys she talk to are married and going through the same issue. But i need a perspective/advice from a woman. I do love her and i care about her and yes i meesed up but i have no idea how to deal with this situation. She told me she can not see a futurw with me at this moment and i am more of a roomate or bestfriend than a husband. I want to go to therapy to work on myself and see what i can do to fix our relationship but she says it is a little too late and she doesnt know what to do as well. Any advice?????? Thank you and pls give me your honest opinion.


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## Colombianog30 (Jul 22, 2017)

Pls??? Any comments?


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

What advice are you looking for? 
There is zero possibility that you will save your relationship by continuing to do the things you have been doing (which is basically nothing more that being passive and taking it). But before you can even begin to worry about saving your relationship, you need to start worrying about saving yourself. You seem to seriously lack self-esteem. You need to work on your self first and worry about your relationship later. Chances are that if you seriously work on yourself, you will probably decide this relationship isn't worth trying to save.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Colombianog30 said:


> ... she does not care about our relationship and she would start talking to other man as i was talking to other girla before.
> 
> She told me she can not see a futurw with me at this moment and i am more of a roomate or bestfriend than a husband.
> 
> ... she says it is a little too late and she doesnt know what to do as well.


You asked for honesty, so here it is: She is DONE. D-O-N-E. No need to stick a fork in her ... The chances are, she is already involved with another man, and my guess is it's a lot more than just "phone sex."

If you are going to get counseling/therapy, do it to improve yourself. To do it with the primary motivation of fixing the marriage won't work. You need to work on yourself. You lied to her, you messed up, and she is beyond caring whether you admit to your lying or not.

This is my opinion. And, yes, I am a woman.


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## Tomara (Jun 19, 2013)

I think you have let this go on way to long..... 3 years and not addressing the issues and no sex. I know I would have given up and sent you packing. Not sure why she hasn’t done anything... something you might ask her. Work on your own stuff and improve you. I agree DONE.


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