# Hopeless Argument



## BlueParrot (Jun 29, 2021)

I had few arguments with husband where I admit some of it because I was being childish specially when I’m going to have my period my mood will be out of whack. I was blaming him for no reasons. But now i feel like every time we’re having arguments he always labeling me as the one who want to be right all the time and always putting him at the fault. We don’t even get to the point to discuss the issues and get the solutions cause he will start the argument by saying that I always want to be right. And the conversations will end since I don’t see the point to continue it cause he already set it in his head that I just want to be right. I am so sad with his judgement. Specially now we have a kid, I feel like I am mature enough and I often feel that I adjust myself a lot to make him happy cause I know I was being childish in the past. I genuinely want to work things out what the best for us when we have different opinions on things. We’ve been together for 8 years. I just feel like I can’t even have a healthy argument with his judgement over me like that. At some point i think i just want to be separate from him cause I don’t think our relationship will develop if we can’t discuss any differences with his judgement about me like that. What should I do?


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

Stop having arguments & start _talking or discussing _sensitive subjects. You can disagree without being disagreeable. Learn to say phrases like "I see your point" or "that's something I hadn't considered". When you are upset take an emotional step back & consciously lower your voice to something softer like a whisper. In short, deescalate when you can


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

can I ask if you and he stays on subject or are things dragged up that have nothing to do with the subject and going back to the past disagreement , know how to debate can help


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## BlueParrot (Jun 29, 2021)

frenchpaddy said:


> can I ask if you and he stays on subject or are things dragged up that have nothing to do with the subject and going back to the past disagreement , know how to debate can help


We stay on the subject but then just end it without being resolved. As soon as he accused me of being stubborn I just stop as I feel like he won’t listen to me. But i’m scare lately that one day i’m just gonna blow up cause i bottle it up inside me. It’s the small stuffs like he’s unorganized while i do. I don’t complain anymore when he left his shirts on the floor i just pick it up and put it in the laundry basket. One of the example where i think i have and tried to compromise with his habits that i don’t like. I try to accept it instead of being mad at him. So i feel unfair now he won’t listen to me cause he always think i’m just being stubborn or childish without giving me a chance. My point is I was childish and emotional but as I get older and we have kid I have changed and willing to compromise and stop nagging him. I put my family first. He hates working so I said i’ll work and be the breadwinner. I just want him to be happy cause it makes me happy. But he seems stuck with the old me and can’t see that I have changed.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

BlueParrot said:


> We stay on the subject but then just end it without being resolved. As soon as he accused me of being stubborn I just stop as I feel like he won’t listen to me. But i’m scare lately that one day i’m just gonna blow up cause i bottle it up inside me. It’s the small stuffs like he’s unorganized while i do. I don’t complain anymore when he left his shirts on the floor i just pick it up and put it in the laundry basket. One of the example where i think i have and tried to compromise with his habits that i don’t like. I try to accept it instead of being mad at him. So i feel unfair now he won’t listen to me cause he always think i’m just being stubborn or childish without giving me a chance. My point is I was childish and emotional but as I get older and we have kid I have changed and willing to compromise and stop nagging him. I put my family first. He hates working so I said i’ll work and be the breadwinner. I just want him to be happy cause it makes me happy. But he seems stuck with the old me and can’t see that I have changed.


well blue you go out to work he stays home to keep house he drops his shirt on the floor , unless you bra is on the floor with it I would be walking past it , it looks like his is on a winner , but I am not here to add to the fire ,
i will copie a post from another topic, it is the second part that i think you might understand it is from the divorce topic , 

we all know someone that is like the first part of this scenarios but my question is how can he stop her getting a divorce if the marriage has broken down , given that he is cheating , I like the wife might not have the proof of his cheating , some men are very good at hiding and we all know a man that started out with the woman above as simple employee and in love with wife as he gets older and grows higher in his job becomes very sexy to a young woman

you see lock-down thought many people what living at home with their other half was relay like , before many couples lived 2 files they had their work life which was 8h or more a day plus add in travailing time dinner brake and in france that can be up to 2h , (gives the cheater enough time to play ) and went home house was clean food on the table and they sit down and look at the match , and the wife looked at a film on telly ,go to bed have sex all was good but did not they area asleep for the best part of 8h , he spends less time with the wife that with his work mates ,

many people married are strangers they think they know each other


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