# sexting



## betrayedinca (Sep 19, 2016)

Last week I found out that my husband tried sexting one of the girls that we both know, she texted back but her messages were not explicit, the conversation lasted only couple of minutes. This happened on my birthday as well as I was upstairs sleeping with out daughter. 

I was left speechless, confronted him right away. He says he doesn't know why he did, he was drunk at the time as we had friends over. He apologized and asked me to give him time to make it up to me. 

The thing is that I don't think I can. We've been married for 5 years and I don't think respects me, he says it's not true but I think he is just so selfish sometimes and he doesn't see my point of view. Most of the fights that we have is when he drinks. He doesn't drink often but when he does, many times he does things that he either doesn't remember or just stupid mean things. 

I told him that I need space because I don't know what to do, I feel betrayed. He also says that he will not drink for now. But for me that's not enough to just be able to forget or forgive. I'm considering asking him to move out. I have also contacted the girl and she swears nothing ever happened between them, that she was surprised when he wrote to her and one of the things he asked her is if she was touching herself. I can't even got those words out of my head. 

I'm considering taking a break from here, maybe eventually going to therapy. But right now, I feel like I wanna be alone.


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## betrayedinca (Sep 19, 2016)

Does anyone esle have any experience with this? I mean sexting. Were you able to forgive?


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## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

My stbxw had an online affair where she sent naked pictures and other explicit things to a random guy she met on the internet. Nothing physical happened and she claimed it was just her feeling old and wanting to feel wanted and sexy (more than what I already did, which was a lot). Now, there are a ton of other things going on in my relationship not correlated with yours, but I thought about what she did every day. It's pure betrayal. They are traitors. It's one thing to think it, and keep it in your head, but it's another thing to act on it. What if she replied, I am touching myself right now? What would he have done. He would have pursued it.

How did you find out? What do you think he'd be doing if you didn't find out. He sounds no good, but only you know.


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## heartbroken50 (Aug 9, 2016)

Sorry you are going through this. I discovered my husband sexting a woman in a game app almost month and a half ago... still working on it. From what I know his sexting went on 6 months and never went physical and did not include photos. But it is still a HUGE betrayal. We've been married 20 years and have 3 children, and a lot of health issues. I'm learning that what I thought was a very strong marriage has had issues all along that I just couldn't see. 

We are trying to work things through but it's not easy at all... more speed bumps than progress to be honest. We're in separate bedrooms and in MC, and still struggling. Reading his words to his OW was the most painful thing in the world for me and I still want to vomit whenever I think about it, but I just wanted to let you know I feel your pain. 

This site has been a wonderful outlet for me to hash out my intense feelings about all of this. Hang in there!


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

@betrayedinca

Different people here read only certain forums. You are dealing with infidelity more than divorce.

I recommend you move your thread to the Coping with Infidelity forum. You should get more help there.

To do this, send a private message to a moderator. Some are Elegirl, Farsidejunky or MattMatt and one of them will move it for you.

As the other poster said, stay here for help.


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## asdfjkl (Sep 26, 2015)

Hello,

I can understand your reaction. I would rank sexting pretty close to actual infidelity. I think it is more or less foreplay.

Maybe you could try marriage councelling. The thing is that you do not know if this was a one time error he commited drunk or if this is a thing he does repeatedely.

The trust - for you - is ruined. 

Whether this can be repaired depends on your and your husband's ideals and values and the commitment to resolve the issue,
A councellor might help you sort through this.

But I agree this is not the perfect forum for this question.

Regards

asdfjkl


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Does he only do these stupid things when he drinks? 

Then it looks like his true self comes out went he drinks. 

Let family and friends know what has happened. You are going to need a support group, start putting it to gather.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Also you do not need the be alone. That's just going to allow you to dwell on it. Get you best gf and talk with her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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