# Separation and in-laws? I guess blood is thicker than water.



## Isabellam (Aug 23, 2010)

hey guys - I am almost at the end of week 2 of my separation. I have no idea how to feel, but this week have been particularly angry about my in-laws lack of concern for me.

Maybe I am expecting too much, but I had built a relationship with these people for 6 years, and after my husband told them that he had moved out, I have not received one phone call. Not even a hi, are you okay? I guess blood is thicker than water. I am not sure why this makes me so angry, I should not care that they may no like me or that I may be the bad guy here. 

I sent my MIL a message thanking her for a baby blanket she made me for a friend, and she send me back the most cold message ever. did not even ask how I was doing. She used to always call me when I was home alone and my husband was out of town.
God only knows what he told her. I bet he convenienly left out that he cheated. bastard. 

Am I wrong to be mad or to expect anything from these people?


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

No, I don't think it's wrong but understand that you are considered an 'outsider'. I'm going through the same thing. I won't deny having done many wrongs throughout my 11 year relationshi and 10 year marriage, but I didn't cheat. I don't text or chat with other men constantly. I haven't sent nude photos to anyone outside of my spouse. They are aware of all of this but yet I'm the bad guy. Go figure.....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## notreadytoquit (Jan 11, 2010)

My in laws at first believed my ex H cheating now they are nowhere to be found. My BIL and SIL have not called me since April to even see if I am alive with our 2 year old son. My MIL at first I thought was supportive but then she turned against me. She still refuses to this day to see the evidence of her son's cheating. She has even gone out to spread lies that I am seeing this man(news to me!) since I was back in Canada and that it did not cost me anything to restart my life in Canada after I gave up everything to move to the US for husbands career. Don't expect too much of them! One day karma will get them really bad!


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## Chasing Rainbows (Oct 9, 2010)

I have spoken to my in-laws twice since my husband left me, that was within the first two weeks of him leaving, he left about 4 months ago. They were lovely though and said if I needed anything or to talk, to call again. However, since then they have not once called me and I have not called them either. I try and look at from their point of view though. They are probably upset and shocked that we are separated, getting a divorce. They treated me like a daughter from day one and insisted I call them mum and dad. However, I understand that their loyalty and support should lie with their son though. Although it hurts so much that they have not called to ask how I am, I can understand why they have not. 

I do not think you are wrong in feeling the way you do but I do feel that is very difficult to maintain a relationship with the in-laws. I wish you luck


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## gonnagetbetter (Nov 20, 2010)

I have been seperated 3 weeks. My MIL called once or twice and made a comment or two on Facebook. My husband has 2 married brothers, them and their wives are FB friends although none seem to be on a lot, unless they lurk and just don't post much. Not one single one of them has messaged me or anything, I have been careful not to slam him about his cheating, just talk about how sad I am or how much I appreciate all my friends coming out, but there is one SIL that I really thought would at least message me. I think she and her hubby are not suprised by his affairs or his leaving so maybe they don't know what to say. It is awkward though, but I guess there is not much they can say. Who knows what the spouse is saying? My husband said he is not happy, I cannot imagine why, I never harp on him do to housework, I do all the shopping, meal planning and almost all the cleaning, every once in a while I will ask for his help, I just don't know why he is not happy or why he didn't want to do something to fight for our marriage.


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## nel (Nov 21, 2010)

my family have told me "via" my H they want nothing to do with me despite over 25 years of marriage to a man who is following in his drunken fathers way...hurts? yes...but i reckon im the better person as i would never see a need a do nothing about it...


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## Honolulu (Oct 15, 2010)

I made the mistake of looking to my in-laws for emotional support. I think they understand his fault but still stand on his side. I realized all my conversations with them were relayed to the soon-to-be-ex...so I decided not to talk to them anymore about the situation. My in-laws did invite me for holidays (the kids are with him for Thanksgiving & Christmas Eve) but I respectfully declined. It's just too weird being there with him and the kids but not being with him.


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## manny1 (Nov 9, 2010)

I had the same problem and I've been in his family for30 years. MIL hung up on me I will not call her again. What's interesting is she knows her son is just like his father and she couldn't live with him either and divorced him too. I always think no wonder her son turned out the way he did and am glad to be rid of the whole family actually. I think there are more in laws that want nothing to do with the exs then have good relationships it that helps


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