# why is STBX totally ignoring me?



## denise1218 (Dec 24, 2010)

Good Morning. My STBX's actions (should I say non-actions) are about to drive me insane. My H was the one who wants the divorce....after 6 months I have finally accepted that fate. Now I only see my husband for about 5 min. when I drop the kids off or when I pick them up every other weekend. For the last month, he has gotten the kids from his parents house. I live in the same time as his parents....my STBX lives an hour away. Before he started picking up the boys, we were nice to each other when we did have to see each other.....it was the feeling of being very uncomfortable and anxious....but we did it. Anyways....he won't return my text or messages that I have sent, saying I would like to talk. He called his parents to tell them that he would pick the boys up at their house on Saturday (cant get them on Fri. because he is getting a new phone)....I just don't understand this "cold shoulder tx" I am getting. I havent' done anything to deserve this. I am trying to get on with my life. I would love nothing more than for us to be friends again...we are going to be a part of each others life as long as we have our children....I would love to make the most of it. It makes me mad still......my kids go to his house every other weekend. They spend the nite Fri. and Sat. and come back to me Sun. afternoon. My STBX does not call my kids or have any kind of contact with them until it is his time to have them....it breaks my heart....how can he do that?? Since the beginning of May until now the boys have only spent 5 night at his house. He has had some excuse as to why he couldn't get the kids....in my opinion....that is such utter BullSh*t. How am I suppose to get on with my life when he is making it so difficult????


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

He wants a divorce and you've agreed to it. He's being civil. What would be the point in talking to you? I am civil with my ex wife but I have no interest in being friends with her. Once I decide I have to euthanize a dog, I don't dig it back up and pet it.


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## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

What was the reason for the divorce? You see, my biggest difficulty is having my life with my child drop to a percentage of what it was, becuase my wife chose to cheat on us and our family. Then, upon discovery, she wanted a divorce immediately, and is rushing to get it all out of her hair. Not only do I lose my family, but I then, by her actions alone, get reduced to part time dad. If you knew the relationship i have with my kid, this would be unacceptable, as often I have had to work doubletime to provide the emotional involvement in terms of expressing love, playtime pal, etc., while my wife stays glued to facebook and her IPhone texting other men. 
This divorce business is hugely painful for all involved, I would imagine at first a lot of this is "coping" with the situation.


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

Shooboomafoo said:


> You see, my biggest difficulty is having my life with my child drop to a percentage of what it was, becuase my wife chose to cheat on us and our family. Then, upon discovery, she wanted a divorce immediately, and is rushing to get it all out of her hair. Not only do I lose my family, but I then, by her actions alone, get reduced to part time dad. If you knew the relationship i have with my kid, this would be unacceptable, as often I have had to work doubletime to provide the emotional involvement in terms of expressing love, playtime pal, etc., while my wife stays glued to facebook and her IPhone texting other men.
> This divorce business is hugely painful for all involved, I would imagine at first a lot of this is "coping" with the situation.


Wow! I guess mine wasn't the only one that did that. What's interesting about mine is that my WW had an issue with me contacting her but she wanted to contact me anytime she wanted. She can't do so anymore but to me it was all about her wanting to control everything.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

denise, it is confusing, all part of the detachment process. I am in same boat as Shoo and by the sound of it mark too. At first I tried to be extra polite and kind and go out of my way to please... well WW just loved it, thought she'd be able to have any new lover she wanted and have a best friend in me... well I never explicitly stated that but for the first couple weeks I thought maybe thats how it would go. Then I realized I wasn't fine with that, and so made the decision, in part after reading all about the 180 on this site, to cut off all personal contact with her - she is not my friend, she caused me more pain than anyone ever could, and destroyed my family. I realize now I'm better off for it, my son's life will turn out different because of it but I think it will be a net gain for him anyways because now at least I'm getting control of my life and want to be a role model for him, even as a single 50% dad.


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