# Acts of Chivalry--Do you have 1 to share?



## swedish

Here's one (of many) reasons I love my husband. Feel free to share your own story!

Last February, I was returning from a business trip and due to severe winter storms in my home town, all incoming flights were canceled. I was able to get another flight into an airport across the state line from where I live, which was an hour from the original airport (where my car was parked) and 2 hours from my home. I called my husband before my flight took off to let him know and that I might get a hotel for the night and take a cab to my car in the morning. His first response was, "If I leave now, I can be there when your flight lands." I was worried about him driving 2 hours in a blizzard but he said, "If it means getting you home tonight, I'm on my way." Sure enough, after a very long day of airport cancellations and delays I arrived at the airport to my Knight on his white horse (actually his white truck with 240 horses under the hood!) waiting for me with a big smile. He drove to the original airport to pick up my car and we finally arrived home and got into bed after 2am. He was up at 6am and off to work. It's truly indescribable how safe, loved and cared for he made me feel, especially to see him smiling the whole way through.


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## justean

i love things like that. they are unconditional gestures of affection.
im glad he got you home safe. i just wish alot more men were that considerate. i hope u made him feel special after.


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## justean

i had to reply again to this, i had an act of chivalry ( dont get that often). my hubby got laid of work a few weeks ago, but he is doing other jobs for ppl which is a good thing. but he doesnt know what he is doing from one day to the other. 
so finances come into this.
we used to go to a country hotel now and again. but had not been for a while. 
we had a leaflet through the door for the country house and despite its offers. my hubby actually said he would forfeit the days money just to be with me. i thought that was sweet.


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## swedish

Very sweet, thanks for sharing it. I like to keep these memories close so if I am annoyed about something it seems rather trivial compared to the good things


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## justean

actually what you said, sometimes we forget about those things.
i wil keep your thought at hand. because i actually think your right.


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## Chris H.

Sweet, nice thread swedish.


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## Mrs. Negestie

I think that you have a great spouse and since i have your story i am now trying to recap and think more to see if there is a story that might be intresting for you


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## Blanca

Awhile back I was having a really bad day at work. My boss was getting on me about things that were out of my control and I was getting really frustrated. Not to mention at the time I was working two jobs so I was really fatigued. I had been texting my husband telling him how horrible my day was going. His last text said, come outside and let me give you a hug. He had driven all the way from his work, across town, and was standing outside with a rose just waiting to give me a hug. It was the sweetest thing. A few hours later when I got off work there was also a little note from him in my car.


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## swedish

How sweet! Just knowing he dropped whatever he was doing to make you feel better is so genuine.


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## lonelyheart

lucky women . I am glad they still exist such men


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## justean

yeh but you have to wait another 6 months for the next act of chivalry.lol


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## cheewagacheewaga

justean said:


> yeh but you have to wait another 6 months for the next act of chivalry.lol


There's some truth to that. If men do too many nice things to their woman, then the woman expects it and takes the man for granted. Or, he ends up being whipped and looking weak in front of her.


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## jennyc

Awww...that is the sweetest thing. Thank god for men who still believe in chivalry!


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## Blanca

My H has done some really sweet things for me. 

When we were visiting the Netherlands (it was on a buisness trip for his company) and i was stuck in a little house all day, he came home, picked me up and drove me through huge fields full of flowers because he knew I'd like it. 

For my birthday he found a very ornate building in a little tourist town a few hours away because he knows i love architecture.

He surprised me with a weekend trip to a Knights Templar museum, took me to a medieval festival another weekend, a gondola ride with dinner and violin, and then bought a beautiful glass etched picture of a gondola scene engraved with the date we went. 

He gets me flowers frequently, books i like, and writes me about every day. He said he has a surprise for me tomorrow night and a big surprise next weekend. He plans his surprises a couple times a month. 

It is nice to be reminded of all the very sweet things he does and how hard he tries to be a good husband.


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## swedish

ljtseng,

That's sweet  I especially love hearing how he's really in tuned with what you like when he comes up with his ideas.


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## kiran23

Oh God.........
So Cute Understanding & you Both are Good Pair......


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## Blanca

well i found out what the surprise is this weekend. we're going on an old fashion cruise boat down the river on a lunch/scenery tour. How romantic


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## swedish

That sounds awesome...have a great time!


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## sam_dunbar

cheewagacheewaga said:


> There's some truth to that. If men do too many nice things to their woman, then the woman expects it and takes the man for granted. Or, he ends up being whipped and looking weak in front of her.


There is some truth to this. However; a husband who loves his wife enough to go out of his way to make her life a little easier or to show her how much he loves her by doing something extra special is worth it and your wife will sing your praises.

Thanks swedish for sharing and praising your husband.

My wife is in her first trimester and she is going through the morning sickness. When the morning sickness hits, I will take a bath towel and drape it around her back to keep her warm. Also, I will get and put a clip in her hair to keep her hair out of her face and get her a glass of water for her to rinse out her mouth. I will also stay with her and gently rub her back.

Does my wife expect me to do these things, yes. Last night after a pretty rough episode she thanked me for these little things that I did for her. It really meant a lot to her.

Sam


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## Farfignewton

Well, I don't know if it counts as chivalrous, but last year my husband literally saved my life. We went canoeing with a bunch of friends and it had been raining a lot lately. The river was nine feet higher than normal hence it flowed faster than normal. I have always been a great swimmer and have canoed as far back as I can remember, but dummy that I am, I have never used my life preserver. On the second set of rapids about a half hour into the trip everyone's canoes were flipping. I tried to tell him to paddle to the left most side and that we could make it safely across there, but he wouldn't listen to me and is much larger and stronger than I am so I couldn't over power him to get us where we needed to go. Instead, we ended up in the middle of the deepest roughest part and flipped. 

I got stuck in a vortex and could not get to the surface of the water. After struggling for a few minutes, I finally said to myself, "wow, this is it. I'm seriously going to die right here." And I just thought about my daughter who was a year and half old at the time who was safe at her granny's house that day. Just when I had these thoughts and gave up struggling, my husband grabbed me by my hips and pushed me out of the vortex getting himself stuck in the process. 

I floated down stream to some fellas who held out a canoe for me to grab onto and I just held on and tried to catch my breath. Finally my husband made it to me and I got up onto the shore. He asked me if I was ok and then looked my body over and asked me with worry on his face if I was ok. I was covered in bruises from head to toe from trying to push on the clay embankments in order to try to get to the surface of the water. 

He informed me that if I ever get caught in a vortex again to let it suck me down a bit and then I could swim out of a week spot. All my struggling did was keep me in the strongest part of the vortex and I surely would have drowned if it had not been for him. I was lucky to not have broken anything on the hard clay embankments also.

I have not gone canoeing to this day. I will face the fear one day, life preserver securely in place. lol. I've been pregnant so I've had an excuse this summer not to go!


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## Farfignewton

Thank goodness I am a non-smoker and have always loved the water. My brother and I have always had breath holding underwater contests and I have done a lot of ocean swimming so I know how to deal with rip tides and waves, but had never encountered a freaking vortex before!


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## swedish

Wow...well, he was a knight that day. I'm glad it turned out ok in the end.

It's a horrible feeling. I have sailed since childhood and was on a quiet lake with my cousin who cannot swim. She had a life jacket on and I didn't. Some boys I know came up beside us in their boat and thought it would be funny to tip us...which wasn't so bad but my cousin panicked and grabbed my neck so my head was totally under. I finally had to push her away (I knew she'd float but she didn't) so I could get my head above water. We were 12 or 13 at the time...nothing like your story but I remember the feeling like it was yesterday.

Boys.


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## revitalizedhusband

My wife and I have been together 10.5 years, married 9, and to this day if we are alone and no one is carrying a baby, I open every door for her, period, end of discussion. The only times it doesn't happen is if I'm carrying the baby and putting the baby in a car seat, stroller, etc.

I've surprised her with vacations before, setup the babysitting, got the flights, hotels, etc all without her knowledge. We drove to the airport and only when we went to check in did she know where we were going.

Once it was Las Vegas, once it was to Kelly's Island in Ohio (small quiet island on Lake Erie) and we stayed at a Bed and Breakfast, and a few other places.

I've also sent her away on a plane by herself while I took care of the kids at home to visit her family and/or her friends that live in different states. Again, she didn't know she was going until the night before and I told her I was taking her to the airport to go see "so and so".

Just a couple weeks ago she was having a bad day, her mom and dad did something that made her mad, the baby was not being cooperative, etc. I took a half day vacation, came home, picked her up and dropped her off at the local day spa for a couple massages and whatever else they do there.

The baby and I went to the mall and he played at the play area in the mall, we ate lunch together, etc and then went back and picked up mom in time to go get the older boys off the bus from school.


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## swedish

Wow...I'd guess your wife feels very lucky


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## onlylonelyone

Wow, this is a beautiful thread. I am glad someone brought it back to life. I have been going through a very bad skin condition. It took three years to diagnose and finally cured. Now I am left with lots of scars, especially on my face. Monday I went to the dermatologist and had a medium peel. Some women may know what this is, but basically they rub acid on your face to burn the top layer of damaged skin off. The procedure itself isn't too bad, but you come out looking like you stuck your face in a frying pan, lol.. OMG I wasn't expecting that, and when my husband got home he was just so sweet and never blinked an eye at my face. Everyday this week he has woke up, turned on the light just to see the progress on my face each day. He has cooked dinner every night, done all the shopping, calls everyday to check on me, and so much more. All the while working everyday, and greeting me with a kiss : ) Maybe it's not a real big deal for most, but struggling with being sick for so long and feeling so alone in it all he has just left my heart overflowing. I feel like I don't deserve him sometimes. I definately know he is with me for better or worse : )


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## revitalizedhusband

swedish said:


> Wow...I'd guess your wife feels very lucky


I guess you'd have to know my wife, but I'm the lucky one


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## onlylonelyone

revitalizedhusband said:


> I guess you'd have to know my wife, but I'm the lucky one




Awww, that is just perfect love


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## Sensitive

I had to think very long and hard to come up with something nice that my husband did recently.

Today, he asked what type of food I prefer for a take-out dinner. I didn't have a preference. He chose KFC, which is not my favorite, but he knew to order extra thighs, which was my favorite chicken part. I was shocked that he would remember that.


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## KMDillon

Cheewaga, I completely disagree. The more I'm spoiled the more I want to spoil right back. By giving me a gift or doing me a favor, my fiance isn't surrendering his control in the relationship. And I don't expect chivalry all the time but but since we're doing sweet things for each other it's setting a standard. Hopefully that desire to take care of each other will continue until we die.


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## KMDillon

And to speak of an act of chivalry... I've been missing my family lately and he surprised me with tickets home for 4 days.


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## marina72

I have one,,,

I am deaf in one ear... since birth, 100% deaf in one ear.

So, at times, if hubby and I are walking to say a store or something, or walking on the sidewalk getting ready to cross, somewhere , that driving cars are present...

He will walk beside me, and many times has put his arm out in front of me... to stop me walking out in front of a car that I, for all my deafness , didn't hear coming... I usually look, but every now and then I guess it escapes my notice, and I don't hear them, so he keeps me from walking out in front of them.

He does this to our kids too though, he's just that way.

I know it's one of those things you'd always do for your spouse or child, but he's always been chivalrous like that, making sure I'm safe.

I always am amazed, that only being deaf in on ear, that I could really not hear a car coming, but it's happened before. I guess they were cars with really quiet engines? lol


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## MichelleVasquez

My husband always opens the car door for me and buckles my seat belt. Sometimes he adds a quick kiss before he closes the car door. I make a point to say "thank you" when he opens doors for me or pulls out my chair or helps me put on my coat. I want him to keep doing these things, so I make sure I tell him how much I appreciate his doing them.


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## Jooky

I consider this chivalrous, but I'm not sure she does. What do y'all think?

She came home one day, about 3 years ago, from a job she hated, and said, "I hate my job and want to quit. I'm starting my own business. You're good with people, will you sell for me?"

So, I quit my job and started selling for her. I'd go around and tell EVERYONE I could about how great my wife is. I'd even get up on stage in front of audiences of 250+ to talk about how great she is and how people need to hire her. I had no sales training and limited experience prior to this. I still have no training, but I won a local "Rookie of the Year" business award by selling her (in a good way).

Unfortunately, this has turned more, in her eyes, into me running around playing the "look at me" game and getting all the attention. Of course, I'm making them look at me so I can tell them about my wife and get them to hire her or me, but...the wife doesn't think it's that chivalrous.

What do you all think?

I've also used my medical background to help her dad out with his recent gall bladder troubles -- nothing life-threatening, but my help seemed to make a difference and he and she greatly appreciated it. My help was unexpected and unasked. That's still not chivalrous though, eh.

I need to research this more and come up with some good ideas on how to better show my wife how much I love her and want to make life better for her.

Huh. Thanks for the post. It got me thinking.


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## octobher

cheewagacheewaga said:


> There's some truth to that. If men do too many nice things to their woman, then the woman expects it and takes the man for granted. Or, he ends up being whipped and looking weak in front of her.


I know there is truth to this, but in my mind not in my marriage. J and I have known each other since I was 12...and have been married for 13 years this fall. He has ALWAYS been over the top sweet to me.....and that is why I am more in love with him now than ever! I have never once viewed him as whipped or weak because of it......I have viewed him however as the best man on the planet .... the person I know is always thinking of me and is always there for me no matter what.

I still get love notes, even if they are now short jots of thoughtfullness on a post it note stuck to the coffee pot  He always asks me if I need anything, always gets me a glass of water when he gets one, let's me sleep in one day on the weekend while he takes care of our younger kids, etc. He always opens doors for me, always walks me out to my car if I am going somewhere without him to give me a kiss through the window, always pulls my chair out at a restaurant, etc.

Just two weeks ago he surprised me as he walked through the front door with pizza for our kids and groceries to make us a little meal. He went straight to the kitchen to make us sandwiches and what not. Then told me we were leaving....he took me to the lake for a picnic, surprised me again with chocolate fondue and fruit, and even brought bread so we could feed the ducks.

This past Saturday we went out to eat at a local burger joint that happened to have a claw machine. My husband stood at that claw machine bent on winning me something, and ended up doing so  

When he does things like this I just feel like the luckiest woman on earth, and do my best to make sure he knows so. I tell him daily how much I love him, how I couldn't imagine my life without him...that I appreciate him more than I know how to show.

He is always telling me how he wouldn't be who is without me, that he is the luckiest man on earth, etc.

I think it just goes both ways, it bounces off of each other.

Weak? Whipped? Not seeing it.


Recently, we had a couple over at our house. They had been over quite a bit that week and hubby and I were feeling a little bummed that we hadn't had much time alone, even just to cuddle on the couch and watch tv. The man of the couple asked my husband to go do something with him, to which my husband responded maybe another time, that he was really wanting to spend some time alone with me. Later that night I was out in the front of the house with the same guy, and I heard him complaining to his wife that my husband was "whipped". This was coming from a man who never puts his wife first and is on the verge of divorce. 

I think "whipped" is overrated.


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## swedish

Wow, the two of you literally grew up together...that is so great that you both feel lucky to be with one another. My H and I get asked a lot how long we've been married...I guess we are 'whipped' too


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## revitalizedhusband

If my wife and I take a walk together, I always walk closest to the street and she walks closest to the houses...this is so that if a driver loses control it hits me first and she should be able to get out of the way and/or I could push her out of the way.


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## preso

yesterday
I used the garden hose to liquify the dog poop in the yard so my husband could mow without stepping in any. Unfortuante only 50% was liquifiable, the rest he had to pick up.

I try to do my part and be helpful when I can


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## Sandy55

I posted this to General Relationship Thread, but wanted to post it here, because I feel this was a serious act of Chivalry by my dh of 24 years - long post, sorry! But so heart tugging.... Am actually feeling very proud of dh and want to share good news! 

Several on TAM know I've been on here with issues about our long term marriage. I am separating from my spouse due to building stress between us. The story is long and complex. We have very complex lives between us and four children we have.

I think I owe my spouse a deep apology - he does not know I have been posting my issues with everyone here on this forum - and I have been posting out of frustration and a "don't know how to deal with this" circumstance feeling with me and my dh. To be honest, I haven't many friends who have a marriage like mine, and not many who've been married 24+ years! So it is hard with such a long history.....and complex "baggage" as mine. (My childhood sexual abuse, years of therapy for depression; my daughter with brain cancer, but nope, no drugs or alcoholic issues for me and dh or our kids..thank the LORD! Just smoking issues.....).

Well, my dh has done some incredibly touching things in the past week, which is the week of our 24th anniversary.

One huge one, though it may seem minor to some here, is that he CLEARLY and without a doubt, reminded me how very much he loves me and why.

It began with a very simple text message while I was alone with our youngest son, ds nearly 16. Our anniversary is July 27th. He texted me at exactly 6pm on July 27th (my time and date in Texas), from Europe, where he was at work...

The text said: "What were you doing exactly 24 years ago at this time?" and he texted "I was marrying the woman of my every dream and mother of my children".

I burst into tears driving on an Interstate, because our DS was reading it to me as I was driving!

SO, I called my dh this morning (late in the day Europe time). We had a nearly two hour phone conversation regarding my leaving/separation. (Gads, the phone bill! But worth "every dime", he said.....).

(See, part of the reason I am leaving our home, is to try to jump start my career, which has been pretty much destroyed over 24 years. This is due to me maintaining a home with a man who jets all over the world, gone 18-20 days a month, and who has had TWO fairly "dynamic" careers in 35 years. He works hard, but it has been at great expense to my career and our homelife (not home Christmas much!). We have three kids between us...and the last coming when we were so far apart due to "issues" (an affair by me, 17 years ago, which he accepts much responsibility for - yes, I was WRONG, I know...) at a terrible moment in our marriage, when I was 38 and beginning a PhD, separated, and me deployed by surprise to Desert Storm...SO...long, complex history!)

At any rate, during this LONG conversation this a.m. my dh offered me profound and sincere thanks for my "maintaining" our home over his "difficult to cope with career", he spoke of his profound respect for me over all the sacrifices I've made to raise wonderful children (not without some grumbling, trust me). He wanted to offer his full support of "whatever it takes for me to reach my career goals", now that the kids are old enough to "manage fairly well on their own steam...".

I was just blown away at his OBVIOUS "take" on my position over the years. It is like he actually has been listening, but not sure how to respond, or when to respond.... He was so COOL! I know, old term, but you know.... He was like, my hero, how corny is THAT??

We also talked about some issues that have hurt me terribly over the years, his seeming "callous" views on some things...and he said he 'deeply regretted the pain' he caused me.

He asked me to "Please take all the time I want for myself over the next year..." because he intends to ask me to marry him AGAIN, and renew our wedding vows next year, our 25th anniversary, on a cruise of "my choice". OMG, did I die and go to heaven today??? (I kept thinking I was dreaming....he has been THINKING about all this...planning!) He is always taking NOTES and I never saw THIS coming! (Just like I never saw my 15th anniversary diamond band coming...sneaky dh! )

Wow. All I can say is wow, and the photo on his dresser of us on our honeymoon...well, wow.

Gulp. I apologize, here, publicly to my dh...even though he hasn't heard all the crabbing I've done about him on here. He has probably heard it over the years, in less a manner perhaps...

I am just tickled. I wish he'd been HERE for me to kiss and hug!

But I can guarantee I am going to go find him as soon as I can, I know where his plane lands....


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## GAsoccerman

very touching post sandy.

My wife has a very good career, when we ahd our first child, she wanted to stay home with our daughter. 

But She had worked very hard in college and had a great degree and had a good job.

I told her I could not let her stay home with the children that she had to go back to her job.

Some people in our family looked at me being selfish, but now 10 years later she thanks me for pushing her back right away, she would have never done it otherwise and not sure what she would be doing now.

But when I dated her and married her I saw her hunger for the work place and a career...I couldn't let her not do it.

I have worked odd hours and worked around my career for my wife and children, I have always put them first. I get paid very well, but I have always told my boss my family comes first and foremost, they have come to respect that, because I give a 110% to them, but my family trumps work.

sorry that your marriage had gone this way, but I saw very early on, that my wife is a person with a high IQ she needs to be challenged in the work place and she had a career planned out before having a child....I could not let her regret not going back to work. Our kids have survived our marriage has blossomed and we have learn to deal with life as a team.

Best of luck dear, I imagine many women all of a sudden feel...unfullfilled with their lives when the kids grow up and they want a career and find themselves without one, but same for the women that ahve careers but no family....it is a delicate balancing act but it can be done and I believe it helps the modern marriage that both parents work and figure things out together instead of one being the "earner" and the other being the "parent"...it's a team effort.


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## Mommybean

GA, I agree with what you said: "I believe it helps the modern marriage that both parents work and figure things out together instead of one being the "earner" and the other being the "parent"...it's a team effort. ". 

My marriage, has been far from perfect. We have had a LOT of challenges, including my H's infidelity. Up until May, I was not really sure I had a marriage to work on, and it broke my heart, because in the midst of my h's infidelity, he was also falling apart mentally. There were several times before I had the "proof" of the infidelity that I thought I was going to have to have my H put on pshych watch, he was on the edge of suicide. I refused to give up...the shell of the man that was in front of me was NOT my H....I knew he was in there somewhere, but the pain of his childhood (abuse, neglect, abandonment) had really come out, and he was in a terrible depression and he was spiraling out of control in every aspect of his/our life. 
Fast forward to now. With the help of therapy, medication, and the lighbulb moment that I am NOT going to abandon him...he has blossomed. I don't really know how else to describe it. He used to feel like less than a man in some respects I think, because he is the one home with our kids while I am the one out working, simply because we do NOT want our children raised by a babysitter, and I can not only make more than he can, but my employer is also paying for my Master's Degree. That degree will allow us to move where we want to, and he (as well as our kids, down the road) will then be able to go to college for FREE. 

It may not sound chivalarous to some but my H has really stepped up, absorbed most of the responsibilities around the house and with the kids, and is working hard to finish all of the little projects before my classes start, so that I can be as stress free as possible in August. He is even telling or friends that come August, our sole focus as a family is getting me thru school, so he will be out of commission so to speak, for the next two years. A year ago, we could have NEVER pulled this off; he had no concept of the "team" aspect of a marriage. He is working hard to become the man he WANTS to be now, though...and he does not let one single day go by without making sure I know how much he appreciates me, respects me, and how proud he is of me for working to attain my Master's (not shabby for a woman who dropped out of school at 16). He's dropped the "me" attitude and adopted the "we" attitude, and when I look at him, and see the hard work he is putting into himself, us, and our family now, it means more to me than any "sweeping me off my feet" act could ever mean.


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## GAsoccerman

wonderful post mommybean


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## Sandy55

I've decided to post on here things my dh has done that are positive, to focus on the positive more. Is too easy to let one slip into the fault finding when one feels resentment; which I clearly have felt with my dh for longer than I should have let it go on. 

As in life, growing in marriage as partners is the key, I think.

There are times I wished my dh was able to be home more for all of us, but _someone_ has to do the job he does. Like you GA, I saw that in HIM; the happiness I see in him when he goes to work because he WANTS to go to work, well, I took the "hit" career wise, I guess, and I need to remember it wasn't HIM to did it to ME, I chose the path of taking care of the kids we had; which in and of itself is a _seriously_ noble cause. I am very lucky I could stay home, and able to have a flexible career, and not have to submit my kids to daycare, the ear infections, etc...good, quality daycare is always a concern for two parents who MUST work. I was very lucky in that regard.

Just like the partner in the military, someone has to do it, if one partner has a career they love that makes making family time short. ANY profession where the partner does not work a low-key 9-5, 17 holidays and three weeks of vacation a year profession is going to require one spouse sacrifice. But I am realizing, maybe patience is the key...as now dh is fully supportive of my endeavors for picking back up on my career to a greater depth and focus.

My dh loves his work. He didn't have the foresight to realize when I was in pre-med and new baby on board, that the yearning would never go away. You, GA, apparently saw that in your wife, and my hat is off to you, probably a good deal for you two all around.

One of the "finer" balancing acts for married couples today is finding that "balance" where _neither_ partner builds up much resentment due to circumstances and inability to "see" the perspective of a partner.

And often it takes time and patience to wait out something that just "is". I think a great thing I've always remembered when dealing with the day to day issues kids have is "This too shall pass". 

Marriage is up and down; sometimes waiting for the ups nearly does in some people. I for one am glad I held on....and kept trying.


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## GAsoccerman

good stuff Sandy, I was also in the military at one point, I chose to get out, it was no place for a family life.

We all make choices, and we have to live with them, its tough to see the future but you have to try and at least have a game plan.

I chose my career out of stability of my family, I was willing to lose my job for my family, I already rejected a promotion to another state for my wife and daughter's hapiness.

I am perfectly fine with my decisions, My career is my family, I am here to make sure my children have the best tools to suceed in life.

But I try and be the best father possible.


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## Sandy55

It is good to hear. Raising kids as I have for 33 years, well, it has been a long haul. Am looking forward to the "new (rather continued career) chapter in life called: "Some me time..." where I will be able to let all my birds fly from the nest and pick up the career stuff. I was worried for a long time how it may affect it, and it has deeply affected my salary, have to make up a lot of time on that...but have kept current part time and getting a degree here and there - well I tried to make the most of the circumstances of dh's availability. 

Funny, too, I don't feel real sad about it, the kids "done" and the "Empty Nest" syndrome. I don't feel I've missed out on any part of their growing up, accomplishments, learning to walk, talk, etc...it has been a very nice experience in general (though trying, as you well imagine), this parenting. I also know that parenting is there, as the kids get older, but it changes tenor. 

I've often wished my dh had been able to cut back so he could have connected more...but it is the nature of the beast, and he was willing to make that sacrifice; I was not. I did everything I could to help the kids deal with his absences, they grew used to it over time. 

I was not expecting this last child, who is now nearly 16, but it has worked out OK in the grand scheme of things.

Maybe this should be on parenting/childrearing threads?? :scratchhead:


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## GAsoccerman

Sandy, as for the career...

A long time ago I was a Hotshot out of college, I worked for a small company and zoomed up the later to where only the Owner and the VP were over me. I had made the company very profitable in a short time with some simple changes.

Anyway I was sitting there with the VP, shortly after my wife giving birth to our first child, so happy bursting at the seems.

I casuallly said, "ah all my goals have been made in life." he just looked at me and said, "what do you mean your goals have been met? your 27 nothing has been met, you surely have more then this?" I replied to him, " Oh my goals in life were to marry my wife and have a child, far as I am concerned everything else is Icing on the cake!" He shook his head in disbelief.

I left the company for my current company the following year, because let's face it 28 and only the VP and owner are over me there wasn't much to do, plus I made them a hefty profit but they reaped the rewards and blew it on some expensive houses and cars....because that was thier "goals"

I am still with my major corporation...moving up the bigger ladder, their company in that time has gone bankrupt.

So my point is....sometimes the Best goals in life are right in front of you. I am the richest man in the world with my wife and three kids....everything else...well it's just stuff


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## Sandy55

Last night DH and I had another LONG phone conversation. A good one.

I asked him if I was dreaming about the cruise next year for our 25th...and he said, "No" I was "not dreaming". :smthumbup:

He also asked if, while I was at my new job, and new cottage "up the road", we could go on "dates" and "hang out" on my days off.  "We can check out the town...." 

I told him "sure", but I still need some space right now. I am not closing doors.


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## revitalizedhusband

My wife went out to a movie with her mom last night, she came home to a refridgerator that was completely cleaned from top to botom...bleached, disinfected, etc, all the drawers were washed/cleaned.

I did it just to take a load off her back (she had planned on doing it today) with no ulterior motives...but she repaid me nicely in bed last night anyway.


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## Angela @ MH

My husband has done many things over the years that could be listed under "Acts of Chivalry" but the best one is something he does daily. 

He cares more about what I think than anyone else....period! All his friends and family know exactly how he feels about me. He doesn't just sing my praises to me alone. 

Some men might see this as being "wimpy" or "whipped" but it takes a real man to stand behind what he believes in and not cave to pressure to be "one of the boys". We just celebrated 13years of blissful marriage. Because my husband is a Christian and a strong leader in our home, we have a happy, solid marriage with two secure, well-adjusted children.

What more could I ask for?


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## noideato20

angela you couldnt ask for anything more. Congrats to you. Hold tight and stay sweet. I can tell you are grateful. Lucky girl....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BellaOnlineMarriageEditor

You're one lucky gal!


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