# feeling undesired and worried :(



## hot momma (Jun 24, 2011)

my husband has been for the past 4-5 years less active in wanting to have sex.. i first asked if he thought something was wrong and said the , 'i'm tired", i just don't have the energy, but when i mentioned it would usually end up doing it (which made me feel he was as a "half to" kinda thing.. but it always seems like a "job", not a passionate "I love you" and want to be close to you kinda love.. anyways.. this past 3 months he did finally get tested and his testosterone was 170 and he has been on thyroid medicine (thyroid doesn't seem to work) for the past 3 years.. he began taken injection shots (highest doesage possibel to get it a jump start, so the Dr. said) a month ago (1 every 2 weeks) and we have had sex 4 times.. which is better than once every 2 or 3 months (on my insisative_ but not the change i was hoping for.. and 2 out of the 4 was MY idea.. i am worried he just doesn't want to be with me.. over the past 4 years, ONCE have i felt passion during that time.. by the way, i am 40 and my husband is 43 and we have been married 21 1/2 years


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## BigToe (Jun 2, 2011)

Unless you suspect another woman, I would not be too hard on yourself. Men do go through changes that affect their performance and have nothing to do with their wives. Doesn't solve your sex problem but I don't think not wanting sex equates to not wanting to be with your wife. However, having said all that, sex is important in marriage and if one is not capable or giving (for whatever reason) then it can cause problems. You need to talk to him some more and not accept the "stock" answers.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

Is he into porn?

This could affect your sex life - trust me - I don't care what any of the guys say - I've personally seen it happen.

Either that, or maybe his sex drive has dropped and he's afraid to talk to you about it.

This is an ultra-sensitive subject for a man - IMO - too much so, it leads to stuffing a lot of feelings and not getting things out in the open.

My husband's problems are mine and vice versa. I want to know if there are issues - can't work on anyting if you don't know what it is.

I hope you find your answers.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

So, where are your husband's thyroid and T levels at now? A testosterone level of 170 seems really low to me. Hormone stuff is kinda crazy. I have a whacked-out thyroid, and I have been on replacement hormone for more than a year and still not stabilized.

Are both his thyroid and T levels normalized and stable? It may take longer than a few months to get to an equilibrium point, especially if he's got both thyroid and T going crazy at the same time. Just a thought. 

btw, Are there other things going on in the relationship that would make you think he doesn't want to be with you?


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## Rough Patch Sewing (Apr 18, 2011)

Has all of your husband's affection gone while having lower T levels? Was he ever affectionate in the 1st place?

Does he have a REALLY good best friend (guy) who he can talk to about his T levels?

I hope that these questions lead to good answers.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Normal for a 40 year old man is 350-700. 170 is pathetically low. A trocar might be recommended.


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