# pass the hurt and anger



## rcgray60 (Jan 24, 2013)

Im been trustworthy and faithful to my H and marriage, i havent even thought about stepping out or having a affair it doesnt matter what happen in a marriage or anything but where does it say go have affair while you still married i just found out that my H had a affair and also with the affair a baby was conceal, now i dont know what to really do ,do i move on or do i give up . but the sad part about he didnt even tell me, his so call mistress contact me on social media messenger and also contact my family member the sad part is that he my h couldnt come to me and tell me he told his parents and stuff right now i beyond hurt and anger i feel betrayal, i dont feel the same anymore please give me any type of advice to get pass this all i do is cry and shameful knowing that i cant trust nobody.all i can say he a good person but right now i dont feel loved anymore and i dont even know what gonna to happen in the future for us i can accept a lot of things but 1 things i cant do is having a affair but in the long run he still in contact with the mistress because of the baby, not trying to make any excuse i just need to vent out cause right now i dont even know what to do but all i can say is that im in pain every single day, some days might be good and some days might be bad.i feel that he might have distance from me in a way, cause i feel that do i have a sign on my forehead anyway go have a affair how can h sleep at night knowing that he did wrong, wondering if i was worthy of his love how can you say that you love a person and next you go find another person to laid up with did he care that i found out or he didnt care enough who the one lying his mistress or h lying. i dont feel no emotion for anyone right now any help will do , whether its a book or someone to talk to thanks everyone


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

If I recall correctly prior to finding out about this affair, your H was always talking and spending time with his parents and you were feeling abandoned? 

You really have to question, was that time really invested in having this (and possibly other affairs) and not really with his parents? 

Do his parents support his cheating?

As he has a child with her now, he will always have contact with her. Do you have kids? If not, is there anything here worth saving? Sounds to me like divorce is the starting point for a happier life for you.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

This is tough for you, obviously.

Please make full use of the resources at TAM, including the forums, the articles, etc.

We will be here for you.


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## rcgray60 (Jan 24, 2013)

thanks everyone i will stay around


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## rcgray60 (Jan 24, 2013)

all of my children are grown and so is h but this now


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## Be smart (Feb 22, 2015)

Sorry you are here my lady.

You said your husband is a good man. He is not. A good man will never harm his own wife and children,especially not like this.

What did your husband do for you,to let you know he is sorry and he will never do this again?

How long his Affair was ?

He is going to stay in contact with this woman in some way because of the kid but he MUST tell you about it. Are they working together or what ?

Did your husband tell you all about his Affair ? Did he go to counseling,therapist ?

Stay strong my Lady.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Sorry you are feeling this way, it is normal to feel as if the carpet has been ripped from under your feet. His family are not your friends, usually inlaws will support their own flesh and blood. 
How old are you? Do you want to spend the rest of your life with a man who obviously doesn't respect you or really care for you when he went had an affair and a kid. You need to expose him to all the kids, his and yours. Expose him to all your friends. Expose his parents too as they knew about it.
Get yourself tested for STDs because he may well be still sleeping with her.
Go get a lawyer and see what your rights are, this kid may complicate things. See what you can do to extricate yourself financially and still walk away with enough financial support.

You need counselling too, rely heavily on your friends for support. After you have your ducks in a row then make the decision to stay or go. It is highly unlikely that your H will change. This is not his first marriage, how did it end?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I read some of your old posts. 

How long ago did he cheat? How old is the child from the affair?

He sounds like a awful husband, cheating, mistreating your children, stealing from you, refusing to work, doing drugs.

This has been going on for at least 3 years. Why are you still with him?

It seems to me that a divorce would be your best plan of action here.


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