# Nudity



## par4 (Mar 8, 2012)

Ok, I love nudity. Lets be clear not porn, but seeing someone nude. When i pass someone in public (a female) I will wonder what she looks like naked if I am attracted to her. I wonder what it would be like to have sex with her or what she does in the privacy of her bedroom. I think about sex serveral times during the day. I believe that I am normal. Just curious do you have similar thoughts?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Nope! Can't say I do... But I'm pretty sure a lot of people feel and think what you do! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

par4 said:


> Ok, I love nudity. Lets be clear not porn, but seeing someone nude. When i pass someone in public (a female) I will wonder what she looks like naked if I am attracted to her. I wonder what it would be like to have sex with her or what she does in the privacy of her bedroom. I think about sex serveral times during the day. I believe that I am normal. Just curious do you have similar thoughts?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


yeah.. I would say 'almost'. You 'wonder she does in the privacy of her bedroom..' really?

Most guys envision women in assorted stages of undress or having sex to one extent or another. Seems a tad odd to me to be mentally following them into their bedroom - but could just be me.

The Kinsey Institute - Sexuality Information Links - FAQ [Related Resources]

From Kinsey Institute:
_•54% of men think about sex everyday or several times a day, 43% a few times per month or a few times per week, and 4% less than once a month _


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## FormerNiceGuy (Feb 13, 2012)

par4 said:


> Ok, I love nudity.[/size]


It all sounds fine, except it probably isn't. Get a copy of No More Mr. Nice Guy and read the section that talks about fantasy. 

Porn or sexual fantasies (outside of a relationship) mask an underlying inability to get what you really want sexually. 

Rather than fantasizing about some beautiful woman, wouldn't you rather be with one that rocks your world? You still notice other beautiful women, take in the energy and bring it home to your significant other. That's what I'm talking about!


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## shy_guy (Jan 25, 2012)

FormerNiceGuy said:


> It all sounds fine, except it probably isn't. *Get a copy of No More Mr. Nice Guy and read the section that talks about fantasy.
> 
> Porn or sexual fantasies (outside of a relationship) mask an underlying inability to get what you really want sexually. *
> 
> Rather than fantasizing about some beautiful woman, wouldn't you rather be with one that rocks your world? You still notice other beautiful women, take in the energy and bring it home to your significant other. That's what I'm talking about!


While I respect opinions, even ones written in a book, the bolded part illustrates something I think we do with books. We tend to give more credence to an opinion that is written in a book.

There may be something to that, and it may even be true sometimes, but I just can't think it always does. We have a lot of fantasies that we don't want to happen in the real world. I've written about them in several other places. I am satisfied in my marriage - we don't bring people in from the outside. We role play fantasies, and it is a lot of fun. 

The fantasies I'm describing are different from what the OP is talking about ... but maybe I'm making them a little bit too different. My point is that even though books are a good source of information, they don't always give chieseled-in-stone truth. Sometimes, a person doesn't have to go any farther than taking a good, honest, introspective look to see ideas that aren't quite right. Sometimes, a person has to look a lot farther. While I may respect their backgrounds, and consider how much time they have spent thinking on the subject matter, in the end, book authors are just people, too.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I don't do that, but it's pretty normal.

I love being nude with my hubs and i LOVE his body ....rawr...but strangers? Nah.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I wonder if par is a sex troll. All its posts are about the same type of thing.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

I kind of wondered the same thing at first... But I figured it might be a legitimate curiosity...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## phantomfan (Mar 7, 2012)

It's a leftover from our more primal days where we had the desire to screw everything with a pulse...wait that's still there. It's normal. How far you take your "fantasy" and what you choose do to with it are two entirely different things as far as I'm concerned. Everyone admires an attractive body and just about everyone in admiring has their own ideas about what they look like naked. I don't see that as a problem unless you're thinking about them instead of your wife when push comes to shove. You're married, not dead!


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Nope, can't say that I do. I might notice that someone is attractive (that seems to be something of a rare occurrence, though - maybe I'm just picky?), but I can't say that I imagine them naked or even care about their sex life one way or the other. 

Even though we're all different, it's likely there are some people who are like you in this area.


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## LadyFrog (Feb 27, 2012)

I have a couple of celebrities I fantasize about.

Real life? Like Enchantment, I notice attractive men but thinking about them naked? Nope. Dh is my fantasy.


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## par4 (Mar 8, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> I wonder if par is a sex troll. All its posts are about the same type of thing.


You should probably read all of my post. You will come to a different opionin.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

FormerNiceGuy said:


> Porn or sexual fantasies (outside of a relationship) mask an underlying inability to get what you really want sexually.


Speculation, passed off as fact.

Just sayin'.


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## aw9d (Feb 17, 2010)

I don't like nudity at all. My wife has a great body, but I think sexy outfits or even just her prancing around in her underwear and bra is 10x's hotter than naked.


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## FormerNiceGuy (Feb 13, 2012)

shy_guy said:


> While I respect opinions, even ones written in a book, the bolded part illustrates something I think we do with books. *We tend to give more credence to an opinion that is written in a book.*
> 
> There may be something to that, and it may even be true sometimes, but I just can't think it always does. *We have a lot of fantasies that we don't want to happen in the real world. *I've written about them in several other places. I am satisfied in my marriage - we don't bring people in from the outside. We role play fantasies, and it is a lot of fun.
> 
> *The fantasies I'm describing are different from what the OP is talking about *... but maybe I'm making them a little bit too different. My point is that even though books are a good source of information, they don't always give chieseled-in-stone truth. Sometimes, a person doesn't have to go any farther than taking *a good, honest, introspective look to see ideas that aren't quite right.* Sometimes, a person has to look a lot farther. While I may respect their backgrounds, and consider how much time they have spent thinking on the subject matter, in the end, book authors are just people, too.


Shy_guy, you must be a college professor. :smthumbup: Authors are just people? :scratchhead: Next thing you will be telling me there is no Santa Claus!

Dr. Glover's premise in NMMNG about fantasy is that many people engage in fantasy rather than living in the real world. This is his objection to porn and to masturbating using fantasy as a means of getting off. Based on my own personal experience, this makes a tremendous amount of sense. If the OP is fantasizing about screwing every woman he sees instead of engaging with the real thing and having sex, that is a problem. That was the primary point of my post.

Using fantasy as a part of a relationship seems healthy enough to me, and my wife and I do some, although I think the real thing should be better than anything I can conjure up in my brain. 

Role playing is not fantasy - it is role playing and as real as it can get, even if the premise is not based on reality.


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## FormerNiceGuy (Feb 13, 2012)

anotherguy said:


> Speculation, passed off as fact.
> 
> Just sayin'.


Why fantasize when you can have the real thing?

Just sayin' :smthumbup:


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## shy_guy (Jan 25, 2012)

FormerNiceGuy said:


> Shy_guy, you must be a college professor. :smthumbup: Authors are just people? :scratchhead: Next thing you will be telling me there is no Santa Claus!
> 
> Dr. Glover's premise in NMMNG about fantasy is that many people engage in fantasy rather than living in the real world. This is his objection to porn and to masturbating using fantasy as a means of getting off. Based on my own personal experience, this makes a tremendous amount of sense. If the OP is fantasizing about screwing every woman he sees instead of engaging with the real thing and having sex, that is a problem. That was the primary point of my post.
> 
> ...


I am a researcher (R&D actually), but not in an academic institution. (what we develop has to work in the real world  )

My point is that I think that fantasy, at least in the definition I use, is an extension of imagination, but is not necessarily spurred on by an inability to get what you want. Is it not possible for a person to get what he/she wants, be satisfied, and still fantasize? From my experience, I think it is. My point on role playing is that it begins with fantasy which is an extension of imagination. We may be getting the real thing, but the situation is all imagined, and shared with each other as fantasy. Can you tell me how we would get to role playing without the imagination and fantasy?

My point is that we put more credence in something when it is written in a book whether it is worthy on the basis of merit or not.


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## FormerNiceGuy (Feb 13, 2012)

shy_guy said:


> My point is that I think that fantasy, at least in the definition I use, is an extension of imagination, but is not necessarily spurred on by an inability to get what you want. Is it not possible for a person to get what he/she wants, be satisfied, and still fantasize? From my experience, I think it is. My point on role playing is that it begins with fantasy which is an extension of imagination. We may be getting the real thing, but the situation is all imagined, and shared with each other as fantasy. Can you tell me how we would get to role playing without the imagination and fantasy?


Imagination is a wonderful thing. I love imaginative fantasy scenarios and subsequent role play - all good by me (and Dr. Glover by my read). We agree.

If during sex, your brain is fantasizing about the new hot executive assistant instead of your significant other, or she is playing some domination theme in her brain at the same time, you are not having good sex because neither party is present, in the moment and connected. You might as well be masturbating.

To go completely new age on you (with apologies to Eckhart Tolle), being present is a key element to being happy. I both read this in innumerable books and try to live it!

If you are standing on a street corner mentally undressing a hottie, you are not being present. Stay present and if she is that hot, make an approach. Maybe the attraction can get turned into an earth shattering human experience. For us married folk, inhale the beauty, thank whoever you thank for being alive, for 20-something year old bodies and being able to see, and take that energy home to your SO and put it to real use


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

FormerNiceGuy said:


> Why fantasize when you can have the real thing?
> 
> Just sayin' :smthumbup:


Yeah - the point is, your prior statement _Porn or sexual fantasies (outside of a relationship) mask an underlying inability to get what you really want sexually._ is stated as fact, and it is not.

Fantasies 'mask' and 'underlying inability'? That is total nonsense...


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

FormerNiceGuy said:


> Dr. Glover's premise in NMMNG about fantasy...


Cult Education Forum :: "Cults," Sects, and "New Religious Movements" :: no more mr nice guy seminar/workshop fraud


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

what i noticed is that during the time with one of my exgf i never had these thoughts. it was like i never even noticed anybody else, even when we spent months away from each other. she fulfilled everything for me, even when we werent together.

i did have some thoughts and noticed other women when i was with other women though.


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## FormerNiceGuy (Feb 13, 2012)

anotherguy said:


> Cult Education Forum :: "Cults," Sects, and "New Religious Movements" :: no more mr nice guy seminar/workshop fraud


From a highly reputable source. You are obviously versed in the Internet - try a Google search for the Rick A. Ross Institute. Seems that your source has quite a rap sheet (3x arrests) and reputation.

Robert Glover as cult leader - fantastic:rofl:

Maybe we should throw Pia Melody, Dr. Ruth, Scott Peck, and Dr. Phil under that bus:smthumbup:


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

Laugh.

At least Ruth and Phil are real PhDs, but yeah, I'd throw dr phil under the bus.

But enough. Sorry folks, didn't intend to hijack the thread. 

Carry on..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## par4 (Mar 8, 2012)

aw9d said:


> I don't like nudity at all. My wife has a great body, but I think sexy outfits or even just her prancing around in her underwear and bra is 10x's hotter than naked.


True, what you can.t see can be very sexy
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

My wife and I are naturists. When the weather is warm enough we head to our local nudist resort an soak up the sun and relax. It is normal curiosity to wonder what other people, women in your case, look like naked. What I have found is that the fantasy of what a woman *might* look like under her clothes is often shattered by the reality. She make look good in those tight jeans but when they come off there is cellulite, scars, varicose veins, etc. Those perky breasts are really held up by a fantastically engineered bra and they point to the earth when the bra is removed. Very few women look like playboy bunnies in reality and in my opinion that's okay. I love REAL!


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## Softly Walking (May 4, 2011)

sandc said:


> My wife and I are naturists. When the weather is warm enough we head to our local nudist resort an soak up the sun and relax. It is normal curiosity to wonder what other people, women in your case, look like naked. What I have found is that the fantasy of what a woman *might* look like under her clothes is often shattered by the reality. She make look good in those tight jeans but when they come off there is cellulite, scars, varicose veins, etc. Those perky breasts are really held up by a fantastically engineered bra and they point to the earth when the bra is removed. Very few women look like playboy bunnies in reality and in my opinion that's okay. I love REAL!


We are naturalists as well - this whole subject made me laugh & think back on last summer in the park - I walked passed a pair of old gents who were busy "dressing" women


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

Softly Walking said:


> We are naturalists as well - this whole subject made me laugh & think back on last summer in the park - I walked passed a pair of old gents who were busy "dressing" women


Oh... so that was YOU that walked by??! :lol:


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## ocotillo (Oct 17, 2011)

When I read threads like this, I think of art.

I don't know if Beatrix Potter is still popular, but in my generation a lot of ladies liked her animal stories and illustrations. They'd probably be horrified to know that in real life, Ms. Potter took animals like the ones she drew and boiled their flesh off (They were dead first, LOL) so she could understand the skeleton below. In art, it's almost axiomatic that you can't draw what's on the surface until you understand what's below. 

My youngest majored in art history and when she was still living at home, we'd have have to hide her textbooks from my wife's Puritanical family. Her textbooks abounded with nudity. 

So I don't have any problem with looking at people and 'seeing' the body beneath the clothes. Although if it's done solely for prurient fantasy, I think it would be unhealthy.


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## Softly Walking (May 4, 2011)

sandc said:


> Oh... so that was YOU that walked by??! :lol:


Yep! :smthumbup:


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## bubbly girl (Oct 11, 2011)

I think it's more common for men to think like you than women. At least that's the impression I've gotten from similar threads on here.

I'll notice a hot guy, but that's about it. My thoughts don't really go any further than that. Now, my husband....mmm...my dirty thoughts are in overdrive when I look at him. LOL


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

I'm a guy and I've never done this.
I'm told it's common though
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

ocotillo said:


> When I read threads like this, I think of art.
> 
> I don't know if Beatrix Potter is still popular, but in my generation a lot of ladies liked her animal stories and illustrations. They'd probably be horrified to know that in real life, Ms. Potter took animals like the ones she drew and boiled their flesh off (They were dead first, LOL) so she could understand the skeleton below. In art, it's almost axiomatic that you can't draw what's on the surface until you understand what's below.
> 
> ...


I'm a devout Christian. Our scriptures tell us that God created everything including a naked man and a naked woman in a garden. He then called EVERYTHING that he had created good. I don't know why so many Christians believe simple nudity is somehow sinful. Even in the presence of others. 

But like you said, if its being done to feed your lusts then it's probably bad for you.


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## Knoxvillekelly (Mar 17, 2012)

There was a day I would go nude, not that happy with my body now.


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## discouraged1 (Mar 16, 2010)

Jellybeans said:


> I wonder if par is a sex troll. All its posts are about the same type of thing.


Hell I feel like a sex troll in my own house.. Ha!


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## tjohnson (Mar 10, 2010)

Personally, I do the same thing. I mean i love my wife and would take a bullet for her or my kids. I don't oogle women in front of my wife or kids as i think it is disrespectful. 

However, 


I find it difficult to see other women (especially ones with certian physical attributues) and not think of them in a sexual way. I think it is a common battle for me. Especially high testosterone men. 

No matter how polite, respectful and well-refined we are or appear to be, under it all is an animal with primal urges to continue our species. The same way women cannot help oogling a little baby, men cannot help oogling an attractive women. 

That said i don't find myself or let myself spend alot of time fantasizinng about other women. To some degree i believe this can be divisive for married couples.


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## KanDo (Jun 15, 2011)

anotherguy said:


> The Kinsey Institute - Sexuality Information Links - FAQ [Related Resources]
> 
> From Kinsey Institute:
> _•54% of men think about sex everyday or several times a day, 43% a few times per month or a few times per week, and 4% less than once a month _


And a little less than 1/2 of these guys were lying


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

Knoxvillekelly said:


> There was a day I would go nude, not that happy with my body now.


Funny, the older I get the less I care what other people think. When I was younger and had a good body, I was shy about showing it off. Now that I'm old and fat, I don't give a crap.  They don't have to look at me if they don't want.


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## lininpa (Apr 17, 2012)

As a young woman I would often wondered about nude males with huge penises. After my first sexual experience with a BF with a huge one and the pain, I ceased to fantasize about nude males. There is nothing like reality!


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