# Considering Separation need advise



## Melissa522 (Oct 23, 2011)

Hello i am 27 years old and my husband is 34. we have been married for 8 years(anniversary is actually today) and we have 2 boys ages 4 and 7. I don't know what to do anymore. Over the past year, things between him and i have not been that great. i feel like we are growing apart, and we are both to blame. Ive tried sitting down and talking with him time and time again and the results are always the same...things change and get better for about 2 weeks then its back to the way it was. he tends to be a one way highway most of the time, meaning he can go and do what he pleases and can be gone for hours on end while I'm at home with the kids but if i go to a friends house that is right around the corner I'm getting phone calls 10 minutes after being gone saying " when u gonna be home" or "hurry up and get home". if i go to the gym and I'm gone for longer then 30 min I'm getting phone calls asking what I'm doing and why its taking so long. i tried talking to him last night and all he did was make excuses or turn everything on me one way or another. i explained i think we both need a temp seperation to reflect on everything because we are both guilty of taking stuff for granted. So what I'm wondering is if anyone has done a separation and did it help or make it worse? I'm at the point that I'm starting to give up hope because its always the same outcome....this is the only thing i could think of other than divorce. any ideas or advise would be GREATLY appreciated


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## Acorn (Dec 16, 2010)

A separation more often than not means it is over.

Have you tried marriage counseling? I think that is a much more reasonable step unless you are really feeling like you must be away.


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## woundedwarrior (Dec 9, 2011)

Unless you are constantly screaming at or ignoring each other, a separation probably wouldn't help things. It seems like once a foot is out, there is a temptation to stay out. If you decide to then agree on some ground rules so you can have the mindset of saving the marriage, instead of using it as "testing the waters"


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## EuphoricConfessions (Dec 20, 2012)

My wife and I separated about 9 months ago. She said that we needed to do X, Y, and Z before I could move back in. Now I have done all of the things she asked and she still does not want me to move back in. She seems pretty content living her life without me in it as her spouse.


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