# Question for the BS's



## emptyinside882 (Jul 7, 2012)

My question is for the BS's out there.

My situation:
My STBEW had many, many affairs. The last one (as far as I know for sure)
was about 18 months ago. I do not trust her, really at all. Some days I feel if I agree to 50/50 custody after the divorce, things will be ok. 

But there are many other days I feel if I agreed to 50/50 custody, she will continue her selfish ways and not do what is in the best interest of our minor children.

For those of you that got a divorce and custody ended up being 50/50, do you regret it?
Should I push for at least primary residency?

Alternatively, I do not feel it is in the best interest of the children if I go for FULL custody.

*NOTE: I think its important to note for legality purposes, there was also
a previous child abuse allegations against her a few years ago that got
dissolved.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

emptyinside882 said:


> My question is for the BS's out there.
> 
> My situation:
> My STBEW had many, many affairs. The last one (as far as I know for sure)
> ...


Why do you think she won't do things which are in the best interest of your children?

If you get full custody, will she not be allowed to see the children one day a week and every other weekend?

Do you believe; is there proof, that she abused her children?


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

What does BS mean?


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## emptyinside882 (Jul 7, 2012)

2ntnuf said:


> Why do you think she won't do things which are in the best interest of your children?
> 
> If you get full custody, will she not be allowed to see the children one day a week and every other weekend?
> 
> Do you believe; is there proof, that she abused her children?


She is completely obvlious to her actions causing any kind of harm to our children. She is not leading by example. She is on ground 0 on where I trust her. She has no regard to the short/long term affects and has never reconciled with the children (continuously pushes blame). She is a well practiced and accomplished liar. And the list goes on.......

I do not think I am going to go for full custody.

Is there proof of the abuse? The state got involved, so yes.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

You can go for PRIMARY custody vs. full. In my state there are two forms of custody - legal (you make medical, schooling, etc. decision) and physical (where they primarily reside and the time spent there).

Therefore if VA is the same, you could have full legal custody but joint or primary physical custody so there are multiple ways to decide what is in their best interest.

I started out w/ 50/50 to see how it went. I now have full custody (both legal and physical) after 3 trips to court, each giving more and more time with me because that's what was best for her.

But, do you think that she'll be more inclined to watch her behavior once she knows what is at stake? Also, if she had the time when they are with you for her to have her fun, would she be better with them when she IS with the kids? That is, would the outlet be enough?

Just because the state got involved doesn't tell us what the findings were. What was determined?

Food for thought...


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