# Tears out of nowhere...after 9 months



## justabovewater (Jun 26, 2011)

I don't know where they're coming from. I've had moments over the last 9 months since he left, but they seemed to be coming less frequently. The last two days have been horrible; the tears, sadness, fear and loneliness seem overwhelming. Is it because we're coming up on the magic 12-month mark, when he can file? My mind is reeling when it comes to the whole process. I fear thst my AD's are going to stop working...or maybe they're failing me now. I don't know, just. So. Tired. Of. This. Life.


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## solitudeseeker (May 1, 2011)

I hear you. I've been feeling the loneliness pretty hard lately too. I've just filed for divorce, so I think that has stirred up some emotions. My teen daughter is currently struggling with depression, and having a hard time adjusting to her new town and school.

She and I are both having a hard time with all of the changes in our lives this past year, while the STBX-SPUD ("spousal unit of doom") seems to be enjoying the good life now. He's having fun, learning to be a yoga teacher (insert eye-roll here - Mr. Spiritual Guy my a$$), and he's the one who still sees our old friends, even though he was the one who cheated on me, lied to me, stole from me, and ripped our family life apart. No fair!

It's one day at a time. I think the emotions of the divorce process cycle round and round - there are times when we feel all right, then we crack apart again. Eventually we will emerge whole and happy again.

Take good care of yourself.


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## jenny123 (Mar 21, 2012)

I am thinking of you. Please take care of yourself. It's hasn't even been a month for me, so I have a long way to go myself. We have been through the ringer. It is the most horrible feeling ever. Let your feelings run it's course. Maybe this is the last cry you will have over this....the finale! Hoping tomorrow brings you smiles.


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## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

solitudeseeker said:


> I hear you. I've been feeling the loneliness pretty hard lately too. I've just filed for divorce, so I think that has stirred up some emotions. My teen daughter is currently struggling with depression, and having a hard time adjusting to her new town and school.
> 
> She and I are both having a hard time with all of the changes in our lives this past year, while the STBX-SPUD ("spousal unit of doom") seems to be enjoying the good life now. He's having fun, learning to be a yoga teacher (insert eye-roll here - Mr. Spiritual Guy my a$$), and he's the one who still sees our old friends, even though he was the one who cheated on me, lied to me, stole from me, and ripped our family life apart. No fair!
> 
> ...


STBX-SPUD (spousal unit of doom) LOVE IT!


It's been a year of separation, no filing yet as neither can afford it. I still have days full of the same feelings described but they are coming farther and farther apart. When they do rear their ugly heads I focus my thoughts on my kids and g' daughter. Never fails to elicit a smile from my lips and a more positive attitude.


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

justabovewater said:


> I don't know where they're coming from. I've had moments over the last 9 months since he left, but they seemed to be coming less frequently. The last two days have been horrible; the tears, sadness, fear and loneliness seem overwhelming. Is it because we're coming up on the magic 12-month mark, when he can file? My mind is reeling when it comes to the whole process.* I fear thst my AD's are going to stop working...or maybe they're failing me now.* I don't know, just. So. Tired. Of. This. Life.


Maybe call your doctor and ask if the dosage needs adjusting or if it's possible that you need a switch in meds?

I had a bad day too (financial issues) but my kids helped me relax. I hope today is better for you.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

justabovewater said:


> I don't know where they're coming from. I've had moments over the last 9 months since he left, but they seemed to be coming less frequently. The last two days have been horrible; the tears, sadness, fear and loneliness seem overwhelming. Is it because we're coming up on the magic 12-month mark, when he can file? My mind is reeling when it comes to the whole process. I fear thst my AD's are going to stop working...or maybe they're failing me now. I don't know, just. So. Tired. Of. This. Life.


Hi JAW, I too went through a strange period of sadness/grief last week and a little the week before - things seemed normal then within seconds I was balled up tears streaming. And I am am man! (men don't cry, my ass). For my divorce is basically official (signed by judge last month, "in effect" as of tomorrow) and I think that is part of it even though doing the paperwork was business like and not like very emotional or anything, a little jittery like signing a mortgage. But the source started to resolve itself over the course of a few depressive episodes and for me I realized it was grief for my son's loss, that he will never have one united family, his life shall forever be complicated with multiple holmes, possibly mulitple step parents, maybe even multiple half sibling or step siblings... to me these are all challenges that may either be distracting or maybe they will actually help him along in life somehow (it is just so far from the ideal life I wanted to provide for him not very long ago).

It will work out because you are a good person who cares about those you love, and when you recognize that you can love yourself too you will find a way to not only cope but thrive once again.


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

solitudeseeker said:


> I hear you. I've been feeling the loneliness pretty hard lately too. I've just filed for divorce, so I think that has stirred up some emotions. My teen daughter is currently struggling with depression, and having a hard time adjusting to her new town and school.
> 
> She and I are both having a hard time with all of the changes in our lives this past year, wh*ile the STBX-SPUD ("spousal unit of doom")* seems to be enjoying the good life now. He's having fun, learning to be a yoga teacher (insert eye-roll here - Mr. Spiritual Guy my a$$), and he's the one who still sees our old friends, even though he was the one who cheated on me, lied to me, stole from me, and ripped our family life apart. No fair!
> 
> ...


Too clever! I am stealing SPUD to use as code w/ my friends! LOL

I had to put one of my kids on ADs and my SPUD asked me numerous times what her problem was!!? She is doing SO much BETTER. I never answered he has his head so far up his @$$ that it's unbelievable.


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