# Boob Size



## Bea22

Hi,

My husband has always loved big boobs. Almost like a fetish. When we met I had bigger ones because I weighed more.
I lost alot of weight and although they aren't A cups, they are smaller. I love them and my body much more being smaller.
I recently discovered his porn use that he's been hiding from me for 10 years. Most of them was big boob videos etc.
After this trauma, I couldn't eat and lost more weight. He made comments about my boobs getting smaller, as if it's the most important thing.
Now, a week ago, he admitted that he sometimes wish they were bigger.
This really hurts me, and I don't know if most men wish this? I mean there are things about him I also don't like (I've heard by many people I'm the most attractive one) . But the difference is, I don't tell him because it'll hurt him.
Am I overreacting to being hurt?


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## In Absentia

When my wife lost a lot of weight when we were younger, her breasts got smaller, a bit too small for me, but I never mentioned anything. They were still a good size and she was still very attractive. I would never mention anything like that to any woman. Now they are rather big... a bit too big, but it doesn't matter because we are not together any more... lol


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## BeyondRepair007

Bea22 said:


> Hi,
> 
> My husband has always loved big boobs. Almost like a fetish. When we met I had bigger ones because I weighed more.
> I lost alot of weight and although they aren't A cups, they are smaller. I love them and my body much more being smaller.
> I recently discovered his porn use that he's been hiding from me for 10 years. Most of them was big boob videos etc.
> After this trauma, I couldn't eat and lost more weight. He made comments about my boobs getting smaller, as if it's the most important thing.
> Now, a week ago, he admitted that he sometimes wish they were bigger.
> This really hurts me, and I don't know if most men wish this? I mean there are things about him I also don't like (I've heard by many people I'm the most attractive one) . But the difference is, I don't tell him because it'll hurt him.
> Am I overreacting to being hurt?


No, You are not overreacting.
That was a very insensitive, maybe even cruel, thing for your husband to say.

_”…I don’t know if most men wish this”_

This man does not. Bigger is not always better and porn star boobs are actually a turn off to me. Smaller breasted women are equally attractive in my book because it’s the person who is attractive to me, not this or that attribute.

I think you have every right to be pi$$ed about this.


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## Bea22

BeyondRepair007 said:


> No, You are not overreacting.
> That was a very insensitive, maybe even cruel, thing for your husband to say.
> 
> _”…I don’t know if most men wish this”_
> 
> This man does not. Bigger is not always better and porn star boobs are actually a turn off to me. Smaller breasted women are equally attractive in my book because it’s the person who is attractive to me, not this or that attribute.
> 
> I think you have every right to be pi$$ed about this.


Its hard not to think porn influenced his want for big boobs. It feels like he's not accepting me as a whole but rather want me looking a certain way


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## In Absentia

Bea22 said:


> Its hard not to think porn influenced his want for big boobs. It feels like he's not accepting me as a whole but rather want me looking a certain way


Do you know if he was using porn before you got married?


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## BeyondRepair007

Bea22 said:


> Its hard not to think porn influenced his want for big boobs. It feels like he's not accepting me as a whole but rather want me looking a certain way


I agree, he is probably living in fantasy-land with his porn stars and wishing you were them.

I would definitely recommend you put a stop to his porn use. It’s an addictive and destructive thing to a marriage.


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## Bea22

In Absentia said:


> Do you know if he was using porn before you got married?


Yes he wanted porn way before we met. Always denied that he did and I found out 8 months ago. He kept it secret due to shame. He was molested as a child so theres lots of emotional baggage. I also found out about the molestation 3 years after we married.


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## Bea22

BeyondRepair007 said:


> I agree, he is probably living in fantasy-land with his porn stars and wishing you were them.
> 
> I would definitely recommend you put a stop to his porn use. It’s an addictive and destructive thing to a marriage.


We are going for therapy. And he quit porn use. I've never found that he's watching again but I think the damage is done. We never had intimacy. He was always emotionally closed off. Took me 10 years to put the puzzle of molestation and porn together


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## In Absentia

Therapy is a good first step.


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## BeyondRepair007

Bea22 said:


> We are going for therapy. And he quit porn use. I've never found that he's watching again but I think the damage is done. We never had intimacy. He was always emotionally closed off. Took me 10 years to put the puzzle of molestation and porn together


Definitely agree, therapy is a great start.
I think you should bring this whole episode up while in the next session so the therapist can help him understand the pain his words have caused.

How long as he stopped porn and how long with the therapist?


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## Bea22

BeyondRepair007 said:


> Definitely agree, therapy is a great start.
> I think you should bring this whole episode up while in the next session so the therapist can help him understand the pain his words have caused.
> 
> How long as he stopped porn and how long with the therapist?


I found out Aug 2021.... And he stopped when he saw what it did to is. I almost left him. So it's been 8 months. We started therapy 2 months ago at this new therapist and he's great.
I'll Def do that, I feel like sometimes emotional damage is too great to really change. He's been emotionally closed off since he was 9 years old. He's 36 now. Maybe I'm wanting a change too soon?

I just don't think it's normal for a husband to say this to his wife.


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## BeyondRepair007

Bea22 said:


> I found out Aug 2021.... And he stopped when he saw what it did to is. I almost left him. So it's been 8 months. We started therapy 2 months ago at this new therapist and he's great.
> I'll Def do that, I feel like sometimes emotional damage is too great to really change. He's been emotionally closed off since he was 9 years old. He's 36 now. Maybe I'm wanting a change too soon?
> 
> I just don't think it's normal for a husband to say this to his wife.


What? 8 months with no porn and now he says this?? Suddenly I'm starting to doubt he has cut off the porn completely.

I expected his boobs comment to be related to recently stopping porn. So he would basically be "missing" what he recently lost. But missing it from 8 months ago seems odd to me, he should be in a different place in his head by now.

I think emotional damage is unique to each person in terms of how they recover. Add that to the topic list for your therapist. I personally don't think it's unreasonable to see changes when there is progress. Whether it's too soon to expect changes is hard to say but I would be like you; starting to feel a bit frustrated at not seeing ANY change.

I also will say that in my case, emotional damage that was 30 years old was understood and reversed (still working) in a very short period...maybe 1-3 months. The reason it was so fast is because it was clear to me what was at stake by not dealing with the junk and changing my thoughts. But... each person is different. I don't think it's wrong of you to look for progress.


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## ThatDarnGuy!

If you are happy with the size of your boobs, then that is all that really matters. Of course everyone has physical preferences for a partner and his apparently is big boobs. He will either have to love what you have, or stupidly breakup with you.


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## Diana7

Bea22 said:


> Its hard not to think porn influenced his want for big boobs. It feels like he's not accepting me as a whole but rather want me looking a certain way


Of course porn will have influenced his views on this. If he has spent many years watching thousands of women with large boob's of course medium sized boobs will look small to him. That's why I hate porn, it's so destructive for marriages. 

Please tell him that the porn must stop and arrange for you both to install porn blockers. 

You think he would be happy you had lost weight!


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## Diana7

Bea22 said:


> We are going for therapy. And he quit porn use. I've never found that he's watching again but I think the damage is done. We never had intimacy. He was always emotionally closed off. Took me 10 years to put the puzzle of molestation and porn together


Loafs of men watch porn who haven't been molested so it can't really be put down to that.


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## In Absentia

Diana7 said:


> Of course porn will have influenced his views on this. If he has spent many years watching thousands of women with large boob's of course medium sized boobs will look small to him. That's why I hate porn, it's so destructive for marriages.
> 
> Please tell him that the porn must stop and arrange for you both to install porn blockers.
> 
> You think he would be happy you had lost weight!


I don't think porn works that way... you already have preferences and then you use porn to indulge in your preferences. You like big boobs and then you use porn to to look at women with big boobs. The husband married the OP because she had big boobs (together with other stuff, I hope!). When the big boobs got smaller, he was disappointed and made the grave mistake to tell her wife. Now he has no porn and no wife with big boobs to satisfy his fetish. Possibly no wife at all if he carries on like this.


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## Bea22

BeyondRepair007 said:


> What? 8 months with no porn and now he says this?? Suddenly I'm starting to doubt he has cut off the porn completely.
> 
> I expected his boobs comment to be related to recently stopping porn. So he would basically be "missing" what he recently lost. But missing it from 8 months ago seems odd to me, he should be in a different place in his head by now.
> 
> I think emotional damage is unique to each person in terms of how they recover. Add that to the topic list for your therapist. I personally don't think it's unreasonable to see changes when there is progress. Whether it's too soon to expect changes is hard to say but I would be like you; starting to feel a bit frustrated at not seeing ANY change.
> 
> I also will say that in my case, emotional damage that was 30 years old was understood and reversed (still working) in a very short period...maybe 1-3 months. The reason it was so fast is because it was clear to me what was at stake by not dealing with the junk and changing my thoughts. But... each person is different. I don't think it's wrong of you to look for progress.


I was also sceptic about him quit watching porn. But I haven't seen anything suspicious on his devices. Could be that he watches sneakily? I don't know. It's een 2 months with the new therapist that's working better than the others.
I also experience detachment during sex still.
In what ways did you have to change?


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## Diana7

In Absentia said:


> I don't think porn works that way... you already have preferences and then you use porn to indulge in your preferences. You like big boobs and then you use porn to to look at women with big boobs. The husband married the OP because she had big boobs (together with other stuff, I hope!). When the big boobs got smaller, he was disappointed and made the grave mistake to tell her wife. Now he has no porn and no wife with big boobs to satisfy his fetish. Possibly no wife at all if he carries on like this.


Porn feed things and makes the obsession worse. It also makes people discontent with their spouse.


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## In Absentia

Diana7 said:


> Porn feed things and makes the obsession worse. It also makes people discontent with their spouse.


I agree with this!


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## BeyondRepair007

Bea22 said:


> I was also sceptic about him quit watching porn. But I haven't seen anything suspicious on his devices. Could be that he watches sneakily? I don't know. It's een 2 months with the new therapist that's working better than the others.
> I also experience detachment during sex still.
> In what ways did you have to change?


Could he be watching sneakily? Yes it's possible if he was determined to do it.
Many apps nowadays are focused on privacy and security and are very good at hiding evidence... whether is porn use or chatting with a gf, there are apps to help that.
I'm not saying he is... but the possibility is there if he wanted too.

Since you have been skeptical as well, then it makes me a even a little more convinced that he might be continuing to view porn.

"_In what ways did you have to change?_"
For me personally, I had to (forcefully) change my thinking about who I was, who I am, and about what happened in the past. That's the hardest part, going through those mental struggles.

Then I had to let my new perspectives change who I am today. This is also difficult, but if your mind is in the right place then you'll have the willpower to see it through. The real world changes affected every area, every relationship, but most importantly the relationship with my wife. That improved greatly.

That's a really short answer for a longer and more complex process. But it gives you a sense of it. And again, each person is different and what they need to recover is different.

You should consider exploring your detachment issue with your therapist as well.
But honestly I can see that if your H is doing and saying these things, the emotional connection to him is quite damaged. Repairing it will take some real effort and commitment from him, and grace from you.

I hope the best for you Bea.


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## ccpowerslave

When I met her my wife wore a C cup, now she wears a D cup. TBH I never noticed until I snooped her size to buy her lingerie. As long as my hands are invited to touch I am happy


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## She'sStillGotIt

How utterly RIDICULOUS to see so many posters actually trying to blame this guy's preference for large breasts on *porn*.

_Seriously?????_

Following the 'logic' of this *ridiculous* argument, that would mean that before porn was readily available to men (like it is today), I guess they all walked around clueless, not knowing what they liked or what they preferred in a woman because they didn't have porn to TELL them what to like. 🙄

See how ridiculous you all sound?

My husband is over 60 and ever since he was 15 or 16, he knew he was a 'breast' man and trust me, porn wasn't readily available back then. There were no computers, no cell phones, no video players, no scrambled "adult" channels, and if you wanted to watch porn you had to buy it from the backs of magazines and since it was a reel of film, you also had to buy a projector to play it. But _*amazingly*_, by only having seen pictures in magazines and actual real women in person, my husband was able to - ALL ON HIS OWN - decide that he likes big breasts. How in the world did THAT happen without him watching porn for 10 years????

Why, it's a Christmas miracle, folks!!!

Ladies, stop blaming porn for everything WRONG in your marriages and start blaming the one RESPONSIBLE - the piece of genetic waste you all married.


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## Bea22

She'sStillGotIt said:


> How utterly RIDICULOUS to see so many posters actually trying to blame this guy's preference for large breasts on *porn*.
> 
> _Seriously?????_
> 
> Following the 'logic' of this *ridiculous* argument, that would mean that before porn was readily available to men (like it is today), I guess they all walked around clueless, not knowing what they liked or what they preferred in a woman because they didn't have porn to TELL them what to like. 🙄
> 
> See how ridiculous you all sound?
> 
> My husband is over 60 and ever since he was 15 or 16, he knew he was a 'breast' man and trust me, porn wasn't readily available back then. There were no computers, no cell phones, no video players, no scrambled "adult" channels, and if you wanted to watch porn you had to buy it from the backs of magazines and since it was a reel of film, you also had to buy a projector to play it. Amazingly, by only having seen pictures in magazines and actual real women, he was able to - ALL ON HIS OWN - decide that he likes big breasts.
> 
> Why, it's a Christmas miracle, folks!!!
> 
> Stop blaming porn for everything WRONG in your marriages and start blaming the one RESPONSIBLE - the piece of genetic waste you married.


Someone needs soms anger management...!! 😂😂 Calm down will you. Porn has an influence in how men sees and perceives women. Not saying it's the porns fault. Just saying it may be enabling the fetish and idea that all women should have big boobs to be sexy.


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## Diana7

She'sStillGotIt said:


> How utterly RIDICULOUS to see so many posters actually trying to blame this guy's preference for large breasts on *porn*.
> 
> _Seriously?????_
> 
> Following the 'logic' of this *ridiculous* argument, that would mean that before porn was readily available to men (like it is today), I guess they all walked around clueless, not knowing what they liked or what they preferred in a woman because they didn't have porn to TELL them what to like. 🙄
> 
> See how ridiculous you all sound?
> 
> My husband is over 60 and ever since he was 15 or 16, he knew he was a 'breast' man and trust me, porn wasn't readily available back then. There were no computers, no cell phones, no video players, no scrambled "adult" channels, and if you wanted to watch porn you had to buy it from the backs of magazines and since it was a reel of film, you also had to buy a projector to play it. Amazingly, by only having seen pictures in magazines and actual real women, he was able to - ALL ON HIS OWN - decide that he likes big breasts.
> 
> Why, it's a Christmas miracle, folks!!!
> 
> Stop blaming porn for everything WRONG in your marriages and start blaming the one RESPONSIBLE - the piece of genetic waste you married.


No one is saying porn CAUSES it, but it FEEDS it. It feeds discontentment with the spouse. With peoples sex lives.


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## Sfort

Bea22 said:


> Someone needs soms anger management...!! 😂😂 Calm down will you. Porn has an influence in how men sees and perceives women. Not saying it's the porns fault. Just saying it may be enabling the fetish and idea that all women should have big boobs to be sexy.


Boobs aren't the only things that are disproportionately large in porn. Has he lamented that he would prefer to have a large penis? How would he feel if you told him you wished he had a larger one? (I'm recommending that you NOT do that unless you're sure the marriage is over. After you say it, it's almost certainly over.)


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## Tested_by_stress

Perhaps he needs to catch you watching porn featuring the "well endowed"and then hear you, lament how you wish his was bigger? Wonder what that would do for his self esteem?


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## CallingDrLove

As a man I would have certainly not said anything. It’s kind of a trade off really as far as weight loss versus boob size. My wife is working on losing some weight right now and I’m not saying anything if the boobs get smaller. We talk pretty openly about this stuff and she said she would get implants if they shrunk (she’s said this in the past not currently) but these days I’d encourage her not to because of the health issues those can cause. There may have been a time I would have encouraged it but as we’ve matured as a couple her looks are far less important to me than her health. 

As far as porn it can drive interests but it also reflects interest that was already there. So maybe he looks at big boob porn because he misses them. Don’t think I’m defending porn use because I’m certainly not, just saying it may not be as straightforward as he likes big boobs because of porn and nothing else. There is this mistaken belief I see a lot on boards like this that almost seems to think that if not for porn men would have no fetishes, no likes, and no preferences.


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## SunCMars

She'sStillGotIt said:


> How utterly RIDICULOUS to see so many posters actually trying to blame this guy's preference for large breasts on *porn*.
> 
> _Seriously?????_
> 
> Following the 'logic' of this *ridiculous* argument, that would mean that before porn was readily available to men (like it is today), I guess they all walked around clueless, not knowing what they liked or what they preferred in a woman because they didn't have porn to TELL them what to like. 🙄
> 
> See how ridiculous you all sound?
> 
> My husband is over 60 and ever since he was 15 or 16, he knew he was a 'breast' man and trust me, porn wasn't readily available back then. There were no computers, no cell phones, no video players, no scrambled "adult" channels, and if you wanted to watch porn you had to buy it from the backs of magazines and since it was a reel of film, you also had to buy a projector to play it. But _*amazingly*_, by only having seen pictures in magazines and actual real women in person, my husband was able to - ALL ON HIS OWN - decide that he likes big breasts. How in the world did THAT happen without him watching porn for 10 years????
> 
> Why, it's a Christmas miracle, folks!!!
> 
> Ladies, stop blaming porn for everything WRONG in your marriages and start blaming the one RESPONSIBLE - the piece of genetic waste you all married.





Bea22 said:


> Someone needs some anger management...!! 😂😂 Calm down will you. Porn has an influence in how men sees and perceives women. Not saying it's the porns fault. Just saying it may be enabling the fetish and idea that all women should have big boobs to be sexy.


That anger is her niche maker.
We all have a writing style, that is hers.

For some, TAM is their itch placater.
We all have need for a daily distraction, this site is ours.


_Lilith-_


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## bobert

This is one time when I agree with the opinion (not the delivery) of @She'sStillGotIt. His preferences are being blamed WAY too much on his porn use.

Porn absolutely can cause problems, 100%. Preferences are preferences though. He could stop porn for good and it wouldn't make him suddenly go from preferring large breasts to preferring or necessarily even liking small ones. 

What is the timeline here? You found out about the 10 years of porn use last August. When caught he made comments about your "boobs getting smaller" as an excuse? Then recently he said he _sometimes_ wishes they were bigger? How long ago did you lose the weight? 

We all have things that we wish were different about our partners. He was just dumb enough to mention something that you cannot change (without surgery).


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## Junebug86

Bea22 said:


> Hi,
> 
> My husband has always loved big boobs. Almost like a fetish. When we met I had bigger ones because I weighed more.
> I lost alot of weight and although they aren't A cups, they are smaller. I love them and my body much more being smaller.
> I recently discovered his porn use that he's been hiding from me for 10 years. Most of them was big boob videos etc.
> After this trauma, I couldn't eat and lost more weight. He made comments about my boobs getting smaller, as if it's the most important thing.
> Now, a week ago, he admitted that he sometimes wish they were bigger.
> This really hurts me, and I don't know if most men wish this? I mean there are things about him I also don't like (I've heard by many people I'm the most attractive one) . But the difference is, I don't tell him because it'll hurt him.
> Am I overreacting to being hurt?


I’m glad you aren’t rushing out to get giant implants to please him. What if you told him that you wish his penis was bigger? Maybe, he would get the point. He might not have any idea how badly this hurts you. Time to talk to him.


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## CallingDrLove

There was a recent thread where a woman was lamenting her husbands small penis. People laid into her pretty good but what I didn’t see was a single person try to blame her preferences on porn.

Yes, there are some men who go down the rabbit hole of more and more extreme porn and that’s what we hear about the most. None of its good for relationships but from men I’ve talked to in depth about this stuff most haven’t changed their preferences at all and they like the same type of stuff in their 30s and 40s that they did in their teens.

Again, I’m not defending porn but can we please stop with this notion that somehow men would have zero preferences for women’s bodies or sex acts if it wasn’t for porn.


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## kh4OffRoad

Bea22 said:


> Hi,
> 
> My husband has always loved big boobs. Almost like a fetish. When we met I had bigger ones because I weighed more.
> I lost alot of weight and although they aren't A cups, they are smaller. I love them and my body much more being smaller.
> I recently discovered his porn use that he's been hiding from me for 10 years. Most of them was big boob videos etc.
> After this trauma, I couldn't eat and lost more weight. He made comments about my boobs getting smaller, as if it's the most important thing.
> Now, a week ago, he admitted that he sometimes wish they were bigger.
> This really hurts me, and I don't know if most men wish this? I mean there are things about him I also don't like (I've heard by many people I'm the most attractive one) . But the difference is, I don't tell him because it'll hurt him.
> Am I overreacting to being hurt?


No. A man should always make his woman feel like they are the only woman in the world. I have told every woman I was ever with they are not allowed to talk with me about body insecurity. The reason is that when they are alone with me I don’t want to hear you don’t think you look good or something. I always wanted them to feel like #1.


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## *Deidre*

Just because you think something, doesn’t mean you’re compelled to say it and risk hurting someone you love. If it’s a change in appearance that could cause your health to be at risk, that’s a different thing but there’s nothing you can do outside of getting implants.

I’m sadly surprised by some of these threads on here because I’ve always thought it was common sense to want to build up your spouse, not tear them down.


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## Numb26

She'sStillGotIt said:


> How utterly RIDICULOUS to see so many posters actually trying to blame this guy's preference for large breasts on *porn*.
> 
> _Seriously?????_
> 
> Following the 'logic' of this *ridiculous* argument, that would mean that before porn was readily available to men (like it is today), I guess they all walked around clueless, not knowing what they liked or what they preferred in a woman because they didn't have porn to TELL them what to like. 🙄
> 
> See how ridiculous you all sound?
> 
> My husband is over 60 and ever since he was 15 or 16, he knew he was a 'breast' man and trust me, porn wasn't readily available back then. There were no computers, no cell phones, no video players, no scrambled "adult" channels, and if you wanted to watch porn you had to buy it from the backs of magazines and since it was a reel of film, you also had to buy a projector to play it. But _*amazingly*_, by only having seen pictures in magazines and actual real women in person, my husband was able to - ALL ON HIS OWN - decide that he likes big breasts. How in the world did THAT happen without him watching porn for 10 years????
> 
> Why, it's a Christmas miracle, folks!!!
> 
> Ladies, stop blaming porn for everything WRONG in your marriages and start blaming the one RESPONSIBLE - the piece of genetic waste you all married.


Thank you!!!


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## Bea22

*Deidre* said:


> Just because you think something, doesn’t mean you’re compelled to say it and risk hurting someone you love. If it’s a change in appearance that could cause your health to be at risk, that’s a different thing but there’s nothing you can do outside of getting implants.
> 
> I’m sadly surprised by some of these threads on here because I’ve always thought it was common sense to want to build up your spouse, not tear them down.


He has mentioned before that he doesn't give too much compliments because he doesn't want me getting a big head. So I think he feels insecure about the attention I get from men. He is very jealous. And he has a very low self esteem
Like I said my boobs are Def not the smallest.
The more I think about this, the more I think it's actually sad.


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## Bea22

kh4OffRoad said:


> No. A man should always make his woman feel like they are the only woman in the world. I have told every woman I was ever with they are not allowed to talk with me about body insecurity. The reason is that when they are alone with me I don’t want to hear you don’t think you look good or something. I always wanted them to feel like #1.


I agree..... He was never like this until I lost weight a few years ago. Think he's insecure about himself. You are a wonderful man for thinking like this. It's exactly what we need from our men. To feel like we are the best, the most pretty, the most clever. That's the secret to keeping her.


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## ThatDarnGuy!

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Ladies, stop blaming porn for everything WRONG in your marriages and start blaming the one RESPONSIBLE - the piece of genetic waste you all married.


I turned red in the face laughing at this!


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## Bea22

CallingDrLove said:


> There was a recent thread where a woman was lamenting her husbands small penis. People laid into her pretty good but what I didn’t see was a single person try to blame her preferences on porn.
> 
> Yes, there are some men who go down the rabbit hole of more and more extreme porn and that’s what we hear about the most. None of its good for relationships but from men I’ve talked to in depth about this stuff most haven’t changed their preferences at all and they like the same type of stuff in their 30s and 40s that they did in their teens.
> 
> Again, I’m not defending porn but can we please stop with this notion that somehow men would have zero preferences for women’s bodies or sex acts if it wasn’t for porn.


I've given way too many compliments about his size. If I do this now he'll only laugh at me 😂.... Should've thought about this before


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## BeyondRepair007

Bea22 said:


> He has mentioned before that he doesn't give too much compliments because he doesn't want me getting a big head. So I think he feels insecure about the attention I get from men. He is very jealous. And he has a very low self esteem
> Like I said my boobs are Def not the smallest.
> The more I think about this, the more I think it's actually sad.


And yet another idiot remark coming from your husband.
He doesn’t want to compliment you for fear you’ll get a big head?

I want my wife to have the biggest head in the room. She should feel super-proud of her looks and I’ll do everything in the world to make sure she does. And it matters not what her boob size is or isn’t.

I’m glad you guys are in therapy that’s all I can say.


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## TexasMom1216

1. The word "fetish" has a meaning, and by throwing it around regarding any kind of preference is inaccurate. I prefer muscular men, I do not find skinny men attractive. So much so that I married a former bodybuilder. This is not a "fetish." It is a preference.

2. If a man married a woman who was tiny and she gained a lot of weight, and he complained about it, most of us would have to admit that she changed and he has a right to a preference. Same for a man, there's a thread on this forum about a husband gaining 100 lbs and people understand that can affect how attracted his wife would be to him. So if she changed a lot, it might not be his ideal. But as others have said, just because you have a thought doesn't mean it needs to come out of your mouth. Did he think the OP would maybe put a little weight back on? Could it be that she's lost too much? If so, there's a nice way to say that. 

3. The notion that men only like big boobs because they watch porn is nonsense. It's like saying some men prefer blondes because of Baywatch. Or I only like big muscles because of football. No, humans have preferences.


----------



## *Deidre*

Bea22 said:


> He has mentioned before that he doesn't give too much compliments because he doesn't want me getting a big head. So I think he feels insecure about the attention I get from men. He is very jealous. And he has a very low self esteem
> Like I said my boobs are Def not the smallest.
> The more I think about this, the more I think it's actually sad.


So, he basically wants you to feel as insecure as he does. That is kind of sad. But, I think that’s the main issue.

He should probably get some counseling on his own to help him sort out these feelings of jealousy - that will benefit you both.


----------



## TexasMom1216

Bea22 said:


> He has mentioned before that he doesn't give too much compliments because he doesn't want me getting a big head. So *I think he feels insecure about the attention I get from men*. He is very jealous. And he has a very low self esteem
> Like I said my boobs are Def not the smallest.
> The more I think about this, the more I think it's actually sad.


There's been more than one guy come on this forum and warn that if your wife suddenly gets into good shape and starts taking care of herself that she's cheating. This is their own insecurity.

I think you are correct, he is insecure and is projecting that insecurity on you. He's lashing out because he thinks he's either going to lose you or that you're going to cheat on him.


----------



## Bea22

TexasMom1216 said:


> 1. The word "fetish" has a meaning, and by throwing it around regarding any kind of preference is inaccurate. I prefer muscular men, I do not find skinny men attractive. So much so that I married a former bodybuilder. This is not a "fetish." It is a preference.
> 
> 2. If a man married a woman who was tiny and she gained a lot of weight, and he complained about it, most of us would have to admit that she changed and he has a right to a preference. Same for a man, there's a thread on this forum about a husband gaining 100 lbs and people understand that can affect how attracted his wife would be to him. So if she changed a lot, it might not be his ideal. But as others have said, just because you have a thought doesn't mean it needs to come out of your mouth. Did he think the OP would maybe put a little weight back on? Could it be that she's lost too much? If so, there's a nice way to say that.
> 
> 3. The notion that men only like big boobs because they watch porn is nonsense. It's like saying some men prefer blondes because of Baywatch. Or I only like big muscles because of football. No, humans have preferences.


1st of YES HE HAS A FETISH. You don't know him. I do. And I didn't have BIG BOOBS to begin with it was just bigger. So that's on him then.
Second, i lost the weight that I had extra and I did it for myself. Because I want to be healthy.
I never said porn created his FETISH. I mentioned that I don't know if it amplifies the need to have a wife with BIG BOOBS


----------



## ccpowerslave

Yeah I don’t really have a thing about boobs but I like the overall shape like hips, butt, waist in an “hourglass” configuration. 

I’m lucky because if my wife gains or loses weight it doesn’t really matter because she still has that shape because of her genetics.

My wife likes arms. Once I found out how much she likes arms I started doing a lot of extra arm exercises. This morning she grabbed my arms and was feeling them and such and I am glad I did all those extra curls, chin ups, and tricep work. It’s nice to have someone appreciate it!


----------



## TexasMom1216

Bea22 said:


> 1st of YES HE HAS A FETISH. You don't know him. I do. And I didn't have BIG BOOBS to begin with it was just bigger. So that's on him then.
> Second, i lost the weight that I had extra and I did it for myself. Because I want to be healthy.
> I never said porn created his FETISH. I mentioned that I don't know if it amplifies the need to have a wife with BIG BOOBS


I'm not sure why you're shouting. I don't know him, but it seems this fetish for big boobs wasn't powerful enough to make him marry a woman with big boobs. I don't understand what the point is behind declaring he has a fetish. But that's just semantics, it really doesn't change anything, and therefore the shouting is unnecessary.

Good for you, weight loss is really hard, so congratulations. It really sounds like his insecurity is making him lash out and say hurtful things.


----------



## CallingDrLove

TexasMom1216 said:


> 3. The notion that men only like big boobs because they watch porn is nonsense. It's like saying some men prefer blondes because of Baywatch. Or I only like big muscles because of football. No, humans have preferences.


I had a summer job in college with the guy married to the woman who played CJ Parker in the Baywatch remake movie with Dwayne Johnson. He may prefer blondes because of Baywatch. Of course the fact that his last name was Walton probably helped him with the ladies.


----------



## The Narcissist's Wife

Bea22 said:


> Hi,
> 
> My husband has always loved big boobs. Almost like a fetish. When we met I had bigger ones because I weighed more.
> I lost alot of weight and although they aren't A cups, they are smaller. I love them and my body much more being smaller.
> I recently discovered his porn use that he's been hiding from me for 10 years. Most of them was big boob videos etc.
> After this trauma, I couldn't eat and lost more weight. He made comments about my boobs getting smaller, as if it's the most important thing.
> Now, a week ago, he admitted that he sometimes wish they were bigger.
> This really hurts me, and I don't know if most men wish this? I mean there are things about him I also don't like (I've heard by many people I'm the most attractive one) . But the difference is, I don't tell him because it'll hurt him.
> Am I overreacting to being hurt?


My H also prefers my bust bigger..but I also have to carry an extra 50 to 70 lbs in order to have his ideal size...which was the case during my pregnancies and afterwards. It took me quite some times to lose the weight after my last child..but I was determined. I was a size 6 when we met and a B cup...so it really upset me that he constantly criticized my body as I was trying to lose the baby weight and get back toba healthy weight. I had pre-eclampsia with both my children and gained over a 100lbs with each. I am finally back to a size 9 and it makes me soooo happy..him not so much. But i was miserable and depressed being overweight...so I did this for myself. Plus I think my H prefers me overweight because he feels less people will find me attractive...and make him feel better about himself at my expense.


----------



## Bea22

The Narcissist's Wife said:


> My H also prefers my bust bigger..but I also have to carry an extra 50 to 70 lbs in order to have his ideal size...which was the case during my pregnancies and afterwards. It took me quite some times to lose the weight after my last child..but I was determined. I was a size 6 when we met and a B cup...so it really upset me that he constantly criticized my body as I was trying to lose the baby weight and get back toba healthy weight. I had pre-eclampsia with both my children and gained over a 100lbs with each. I am finally back to a size 9 and it makes me soooo happy..him not so much. But i was miserable and depressed being overweight...so I did this for myself. Plus I think my H prefers me overweight because he feels less people will find me attractive...and make him feel better about himself at my expense.


I think it's kind of the same with my H. Because he likes slim girls with boobs but always swore he loves chubby. He only liked me chubby because I was less attractive and had bigger boobs. That's all. Not because he likes chubby. If a slimmer girl had bigger boobs he's think she's more attractive.
At the end we should all lose weight for ourselves and like how we look. Our partners should be happy that we're happy with how we look. Like they say, we want the other party happy, right???


----------



## Diana7

CallingDrLove said:


> There was a recent thread where a woman was lamenting her husbands small penis. People laid into her pretty good but what I didn’t see was a single person try to blame her preferences on porn.
> 
> Yes, there are some men who go down the rabbit hole of more and more extreme porn and that’s what we hear about the most. None of its good for relationships but from men I’ve talked to in depth about this stuff most haven’t changed their preferences at all and they like the same type of stuff in their 30s and 40s that they did in their teens.
> 
> Again, I’m not defending porn but can we please stop with this notion that somehow men would have zero preferences for women’s bodies or sex acts if it wasn’t for porn.


The other poster said nothing about porn use, this one did. The other poster said she had had previous partners who were larger which is how she knew the difference it made having sex.
Op says that her husband had watched porn for a very long time so feeding his obsession and making her feel worse.


----------



## Diana7

The Narcissist's Wife said:


> My H also prefers my bust bigger..but I also have to carry an extra 50 to 70 lbs in order to have his ideal size...which was the case during my pregnancies and afterwards. It took me quite some times to lose the weight after my last child..but I was determined. I was a size 6 when we met and a B cup...so it really upset me that he constantly criticized my body as I was trying to lose the baby weight and get back toba healthy weight. I had pre-eclampsia with both my children and gained over a 100lbs with each. I am finally back to a size 9 and it makes me soooo happy..him not so much. But i was miserable and depressed being overweight...so I did this for myself. Plus I think my H prefers me overweight because he feels less people will find me attractive...and make him feel better about himself at my expense.


No pleasing some people is there.😐


----------



## happyhusband0005

Bea22 said:


> Hi,
> 
> My husband has always loved big boobs. Almost like a fetish. When we met I had bigger ones because I weighed more.
> I lost alot of weight and although they aren't A cups, they are smaller. I love them and my body much more being smaller.
> I recently discovered his porn use that he's been hiding from me for 10 years. Most of them was big boob videos etc.
> After this trauma, I couldn't eat and lost more weight. He made comments about my boobs getting smaller, as if it's the most important thing.
> Now, a week ago, he admitted that he sometimes wish they were bigger.
> This really hurts me, and I don't know if most men wish this? I mean there are things about him I also don't like (I've heard by many people I'm the most attractive one) . But the difference is, I don't tell him because it'll hurt him.
> Am I overreacting to being hurt?


Saying he likes big boobs doesn't mean he doesn't like medium boobs. Porn could be slanting him towards having a sexual preference for larger so he should be aware of that. The majority of men would probably prefer fitter body with smaller boobs to bigger not fit body with huge boobs. 

I don't think this is something you should allow to effect your self esteem there's nothing here telling me he is not attracted to you and a woman who feels good about herself is going to have a more attractive attitude. Like you say there are probably multiple things about your husband you would prefer he changed that doesn't mean you are not attracted to him.


----------



## *Deidre*

I think it’s important to underscore that if a husband chooses to not view porn, that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with him. Porn use/addiction seems to come up a lot on here and the general consensus seems to be that most men do this and wives need to make room for it in the relationship. “Boys will be boys” and all that.

That’s just not true and that lie/myth has ruined so many otherwise decent marriages and relationships.


----------



## CallingDrLove

*Deidre* said:


> I think it’s important to underscore that if a husband chooses to not view porn, that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with him. Porn use/addiction seems to come up a lot on here and the general consensus seems to be that most men do this and wives need to make room for it in the relationship. “Boys will be boys” and all that.
> 
> That’s just not true and that lie/myth has ruined so many otherwise decent marriages and relationships.


I don’t think anyone is defending porn use, I’m certainly not. I’m just saying it’s not the cause of everything from global warming to runaway inflation.


----------



## Diana7

*Deidre* said:


> I think it’s important to underscore that if a husband chooses to not view porn, that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with him. Porn use/addiction seems to come up a lot on here and the general consensus seems to be that most men do this and wives need to make room for it in the relationship. “Boys will be boys” and all that.
> 
> That’s just not true and that lie/myth has ruined so many otherwise decent marriages and relationships.


Absolutely. Sadly it is pretty widespread but there are loads of decent guys out there who don't want it in their lives or marriages.


----------



## Married but Happy

Diana7 said:


> No one is saying porn CAUSES it, but it FEEDS it. It feeds discontentment with the spouse. With peoples sex lives.


Yes, it _can_. For some people. But not for everyone, not always, and not inevitably.


----------



## CallingDrLove

happyhusband0005 said:


> Saying he likes big boobs doesn't mean he doesn't like medium boobs. Porn could be slanting him towards having a sexual preference for larger so he should be aware of that. The majority of men would probably prefer fitter body with smaller boobs to bigger not fit body with huge boobs.
> 
> I don't think this is something you should allow to effect your self esteem there's nothing here telling me he is not attracted to you and a woman who feels good about herself is going to have a more attractive attitude. Like you say there are probably multiple things about your husband you would prefer he changed that doesn't mean you are not attracted to him.


This is what I wish some people could understand. Men have a wide variety of tastes. I hear women say “I can’t live up to the 20 year old with a perfect body” while ignoring the fact that he also watches BBW MILF porn.

Again, not defending porn. I wish it didn’t exist and I wish I’d never seen it.


----------



## Diana7

CallingDrLove said:


> I don’t think anyone is defending porn use, I’m certainly not. I’m just saying it’s not the cause of everything from global warming to runaway inflation.


It causes a lot of damage, a lot of marriages to be unhappy and to end, and a lot of pain for the spouse. Seems enough to me.


----------



## Diana7

Married but Happy said:


> Yes, it _can_. For some people. But not for everyone, not always, and not inevitably.


We will agree to disagree in that one.


----------



## *Deidre*

CallingDrLove said:


> I don’t think anyone is defending porn use, I’m certainly not. I’m just saying it’s not the cause of everything from global warming to runaway inflation.


That’s right - it’s like saying alcohol causes alcoholics. Nope, the alcoholic makes choices just like the guy who believes he “needs” porn, makes choices.


----------



## CallingDrLove

Diana7 said:


> It causes a lot of damage, a lot of marriages to be unhappy and to end, and a lot of pain for the spouse. Seems enough to me.


It’s a complicated issue. Let’s say a guy really likes a particular video of a guy coming home from work and his wife meets him at the front door and asks him how his day was and then proceeds to “de stress” him. There is nothing in this scenario which wasn’t desirable by men for thousands of years before the advent of widespread porn. The problem with this is that the man can watch this video and become resentful of his wife because she isn’t doing this. The desire for the scenario didn’t come from porn but the resentment did. I hope that better explains by beliefs on the subject.


----------



## The Narcissist's Wife

Diana7 said:


> It causes a lot of damage, a lot of marriages to be unhappy and to end, and a lot of pain for the spouse. Seems enough to me.


I wonder how many husbands would be okay with their wives wanting them to be equipped like a porn star or ripped like a porn star or comparable stamina? Losing interest in them if they aren't? I wonder how they would feel if their wives would prefer to use a sex toy while watchin porn to get satisfied versus their own husband? I wonder how they would feel if we said..they need to look like this or that or get transplants..etc.? I think women need to quit being so passive and accepting of this double standard crap. If your H wants to compare and criticize you..give it right back. If they want porn that bad..send them packing to the crack house downtown where they can get the real thing.


----------



## CatholicDad

Another marriage being wrecked by porn. The boob size thing is just a symptom of the disease… I hope hubby did get clean from the porn- that’s all that really matters. It’s pretty sad when happily married men are sneaking off to have their own private sex lives with porn… I mean what a betrayal.

Let’s not forget that hubby has broken his marital vows to “forsake all others”.

Hubby probably needs help in truly getting clean… I know there are support groups and/or software solutions that will keep men accountable. He probably also needs to educate himself about the thousands of women, children, and families wrecked by porn not to mention its link to sex trafficking and the lives ruined by that. He should google PornHub and how they removed half their content last year in fear of prosecution…. they were profiting from actual rape, revenge porn, and abuse- and the victims could not get their videos removed and even if they did these videos had already been downloaded thousands of times.

Every porn user needs to ponder how they’d feel if their mother, sister, or daughter was raped/filmed- and then how Pornhub or someone else profited from that…. Go read the victim’s stories.


----------



## *Deidre*

CatholicDad said:


> Another marriage being wrecked by porn. The boob size thing is just a symptom of the disease… I hope hubby did get clean from the porn- that’s all that really matters. It’s pretty sad when happily married men are sneaking off to have their own private sex lives with porn… I mean what a betrayal.
> 
> Let’s not forget that hubby has broken his marital vows to “forsake all others”.
> 
> Hubby probably needs help in truly getting clean… I know there are support groups and/or software solutions that will keep men accountable. He probably also needs to educate himself about the thousands of women, children, and families wrecked by porn not to mention its link to sex trafficking and the lives ruined by that. He should google PornHub and how they removed half their content last year in fear of prosecution…. they were profiting from actual rape, revenge porn, and abuse- and the victims could not get their videos removed and even if they did these videos had already been downloaded thousands of times.
> 
> Every porn user needs to ponder how they’d feel if their mother, sister, or daughter was raped/filmed- and then how Pornhub or someone else profited from that…. Go read the victim’s stories.


👏👏👏

Great post!


----------



## CallingDrLove

The Narcissist's Wife said:


> I wonder how many husbands would be okay with their wives wanting them to be equipped like a porn star or ripped like a porn star or comparable stamina? Losing interest in them if they aren't? I wonder how they would feel if their wives would prefer to use a sex toy while watchin porn to get satisfied versus their own husband? I wonder how they would feel if we said..they need to look like this or that or get transplants..etc.? I think women need to quit being so passive and accepting of this double standard crap. If your H wants to compare and criticize you..give it right back. If they want porn that bad..send them packing to the crack house downtown where they can get the real thing.


I wonder how many husbands are OK with being compared to all the protagonists in their wife’s romance novels?


----------



## TexasMom1216

CallingDrLove said:


> I wonder how many husbands are OK with being compared to all the protagonists in their wife’s romance novels?


This is like comparing shooting a bullet to throwing it. "I wish you acted more like an imaginary character that I made up in my head" is first of all not really something sane people say. "This is what women are supposed to look like and this is how they are supposed to have sex and because you cannot compete with a 22-year-old sex professional in looks and skill I am no longer attracted to you" is totally different than "I wish my husband would tell me I'm pretty more often."


----------



## CallingDrLove

TexasMom1216 said:


> This is like comparing shooting a bullet to throwing it. "I wish you acted more like an imaginary character that I made up in my head" is first of all not really something sane people say. "This is what women are supposed to look like and this is how they are supposed to have sex and because you cannot compete with a 22-year-old sex professional in looks and skill I am no longer attracted to you" is totally different than "I wish my husband would tell me I'm pretty more often."


It was mostly meant to be an absurd comment but the point I was trying to make was that both men and women do things to make their spouses feel less than. I’m not in support of either.


----------



## TexasMom1216

CallingDrLove said:


> It was mostly meant to be an absurd comment but the point I was trying to make was that both men and women do things to make their spouses feel less than. I’m not in support of either.


Ah, I see. Well it was for sure absurd, because the idea that romance novels reach the same level as porn is absurd.

I think it's clear that the OP's husband is threatened by her weight loss and is attacking her because of his own insecurity. I feel for her, I know how hard it is to lose weight and having your spouse pout over it makes it even harder.


----------



## CallingDrLove

TexasMom1216 said:


> Ah, I see. Well it was for sure absurd, because the idea that romance novels reach the same level as porn is absurd.
> 
> I think it's clear that the OP's husband is threatened by her weight loss and is attacking her because of his own insecurity. I feel for her, I know how hard it is to lose weight and having your spouse pout over it makes it even harder.


Its certainly important to have a loving spouse who appreciates you where you are. I’m lucky in that regard. I’m a very big guy. I was also a very big guy when I first met my wife. She told me she used to watch World’s Strongest Man contests on ESPN when she was single because it turned her on. I was blown away by this because I always thought I needed to get smaller to attract women. A few years back I had a DEXA scan which showed my lean body mass was 285 pounds. The guy at the DEXA place in Dallas (I don’t live in Texas but Dallas is the closest major city) said it was the highest he’s ever measured and they test pro bodybuilders. I had a LOT of fat on top of it though. As I lost fat my wife would say “I’m proud of you but I think you look perfect now and don’t need to lose much more”. I’d lose another 30 and it was the same thing “you look great now, don’t lose much more”. I think that’s how men should be with their women as well.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson

CallingDrLove said:


> I wonder how many husbands are OK with being compared to all the protagonists in their wife’s romance novels?


Never even crossed my mind. Seems a waste time. I mean really.


----------



## DownByTheRiver

Bea22 said:


> Hi,
> 
> My husband has always loved big boobs. Almost like a fetish. When we met I had bigger ones because I weighed more.
> I lost alot of weight and although they aren't A cups, they are smaller. I love them and my body much more being smaller.
> I recently discovered his porn use that he's been hiding from me for 10 years. Most of them was big boob videos etc.
> After this trauma, I couldn't eat and lost more weight. He made comments about my boobs getting smaller, as if it's the most important thing.
> Now, a week ago, he admitted that he sometimes wish they were bigger.
> This really hurts me, and I don't know if most men wish this? I mean there are things about him I also don't like (I've heard by many people I'm the most attractive one) . But the difference is, I don't tell him because it'll hurt him.
> Am I overreacting to being hurt?


His priorities are all out of whack. That said, yes, many men boys think boobs are almost as important as their own penis. You'd think he'd be happy because you're happy and comfortable.  You should point out that there are things you'd change about him if you had a magic wand, too, and if you were a shallow person who didn't love him for who he is instead of how he looks. 

That said, it's not like he has really been tormenting you about this, and some men definitely would, so I'd forgive him; but now that you know, of course, he has messed up your trust in him and respect for him, and you can't make that magically go away. Just know this is his problem and not yours in the end.


----------



## BecauseSheWeeps

Bea22 said:


> Yes he wanted porn way before we met. Always denied that he did and I found out 8 months ago. He kept it secret due to shame. He was molested as a child so theres lots of emotional baggage. I also found out about the molestation 3 years after we married.


I'm in the same boat and my prayers are with you. My husband is a very sweet man but has a lot of emotional baggage that we really need to get to the root of. He tries to cover it with dependency issues of alcohol and weed. He watches porn during his poop trips in the morning and that he watches porn because he doesn't want to be disrespectful to me so we at times have a boring sex life because he 'doesn't want to treat me like a *****'.... I'm your wife. Treat me like a *****! 

Also have the boob issue thing. I would like to lose weight but he really doesn't want me to lose my boobs.


----------



## ThatDarnGuy!

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> I'm in the same boat and my prayers are with you. My husband is a very sweet man but has a lot of emotional baggage that we really need to get to the root of. He tries to cover it with dependency issues of alcohol and weed. He watches porn during his poop trips in the morning and that he watches porn because he doesn't want to be disrespectful to me so we at times have a boring sex life because he 'doesn't want to treat me like a ***'.... I'm your wife. Treat me like a ***!
> 
> Also have the boob issue thing. I would like to lose weight but he really doesn't want me to lose my boobs.


He needs to get away from the weed and alcohol. Both of those absolutely screw with dopamine and other happy chemicals in the brain...... Smoking weed is not as harmless as many claim it to be.


----------



## DownByTheRiver

I will make one other iffy suggestion and don't do it if you don't want to and aren't comfortable with it and haven't forgiven him.

If you want to make him a little happier about your smaller boobs, go buy yourself a demi bra. They are the little ones that push your boobs up and together and make them look big. You might want to leave that on unless he just removes it during sex. But definitely wait a while until things have settled down so that he doesn't get the idea you're happy about his attitude. Still it is something you could do that might help his craving and make him drool over you instead of the dake cows in the porn videos.


----------



## BecauseSheWeeps

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> He needs to get away from the weed and alcohol. Both of those absolutely screw with dopamine and other happy chemicals in the brain...... Smoking weed is not as harmless as many claim it to be.


One step at a time! Rome wasn't built in a day! He's overcoming a lot right now. We will get there.


----------



## ccpowerslave

Since I have refrained from viewing porn for 51 days I now feel qualified to judge porn viewers as morally bankrupt!

🫃


----------



## Rob_1

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> Smoking weed is not as harmless as many claim it to be.


When I was in college, I was tutoring math a group of friends of mine because they all were behind in their grades. The thing is, I would explain to them something and they all would be Oh, yes, we got it, I see it now. Next day when I was going to recap with them the previous session, they all had a blank stare when asked to a particular point. That night I came to find out that they all were smoking pot before coming to the tutoring classes. It was then and there, that I realized why they were all "getting it" and then not remembering much next day. That was the last time I got together with them for math tutoring. I told them that they were assholes, wasting my time when I could be either studying myself, or doing something else.


----------



## ThatDarnGuy!

DownByTheRiver said:


> I will make one other iffy suggestion and don't do it if you don't want to and aren't comfortable with it and haven't forgiven him.
> 
> If you want to make him a little happier about your smaller boobs, go buy yourself a demi bra. They are the little ones that push your boobs up and together and make them look big. You might want to leave that on unless he just removes it during sex. But definitely wait a while until things have settled down so that he doesn't get the idea you're happy about his attitude. Still it is something you could do that might help his craving and make him drool over you instead of the dake cows in the porn videos.


Amazon selks one my wife wore for the longest time. It added two cups and had a pull string in the middle. Omg it squeezed them together and up and wow oh wow!


----------



## Diana7

The Narcissist's Wife said:


> I wonder how many husbands would be okay with their wives wanting them to be equipped like a porn star or ripped like a porn star or comparable stamina? Losing interest in them if they aren't? I wonder how they would feel if their wives would prefer to use a sex toy while watchin porn to get satisfied versus their own husband? I wonder how they would feel if we said..they need to look like this or that or get transplants..etc.? I think women need to quit being so passive and accepting of this double standard crap. If your H wants to compare and criticize you..give it right back. If they want porn that bad..send them packing to the crack house downtown where they can get the real thing.


For myself and many women it's a complete no no. I wouldn't ever be with a guy why thought it was ok. I am always amazed at what some women will out up with and I can only think that they have a very low self esteem or they greatly fear being alone. 
I would far rather be alone that with a guy who treated me in such an unloving and disrespectful way.


----------



## Diana7

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> Amazon selks one my wife wore for the longest time. It added two cups and had a pull string in the middle. Omg it squeezed them together and up and wow oh wow!


Sounds pretty uncomfortable 😲


----------



## TexasMom1216

Diana7 said:


> Sounds pretty uncomfortable 😲


It's not uncomfortable, but if you already have big boobs it makes them look absurd. They were in my throat. Crazytown.


----------



## BecauseSheWeeps

Rob_1 said:


> When I was in college, I was tutoring math a group of friends of mine because they all were behind in their grades. The thing is, I would explain to them something and they all would be Oh, yes, we got it, I see it now. Next day when I was going to recap with them the previous session, they all had a blank stare when asked to a particular point. That night I came to find out that they all were smoking pot before coming to the tutoring classes. It was then and there, that I realized why they were all "getting it" and then not remembering much next day. That was the last time I got together with them for math tutoring. I told them that they were assholes, wasting my time when I could be either studying myself, or doing something else.


I have never smoked weed a day in my life and

I have this problem horribly 😆 😆 😆


----------



## Diana7

TexasMom1216 said:


> It's not uncomfortable, but if you already have big boobs it makes them look absurd. They were in my throat. Crazytown.


If you have big boobs why do you need them?


----------



## Beach123

By don’t you tell him you wish his penis was 4” longer?
He’s a jerk if he says your body parts should be different!
You get what you get. Embrace it in all its glory!
I live in the land of every woman altering every body part - and nothing about it is attractive on those women… 
Most look fake and plasticy. Like clones of grapefruits on their bodies.


----------



## TexasMom1216

Diana7 said:


> If you have big boobs why do you need them?


To hold them up and smoosh them together. It worked for that, it was just WAY too much. 😂


----------



## Diana7

Beach123 said:


> By don’t you tell him you wish his penis was 4” longer?
> He’s a jerk if he says your body parts should be different!
> You get what you get. Embrace it in all its glory!
> I live in the land of every woman altering every body part - and nothing about it is attractive on those women…
> Most look fake and plasticy. Like clones of grapefruits on their bodies.


Oh my goodness some of them look freaky. They can't seem to see it though which is sad.


----------



## Diana7

TexasMom1216 said:


> To hold them up and smoosh them together. It worked for that, it was just WAY too much. 😂


Ok if it floats your ⛵


----------



## ccpowerslave

Rob_1 said:


> It was then and there, that I realized why they were all "getting it" and then not remembering much next day.


I remember doing Krebs cycle flash cards in the library all day and learning where the ATP comes from. Then I went to a party and smoked out of a 4’ long bong.

The next day I couldn’t remember any of it. I was pissed off, what a waste. So I stopped.

Fast forward to a few years ago when California legalized it, I was like hey it is zero calories. I started up a few days a week until I was talking to someone and I forgot the word for “I” like yourself. I’m thinking hey what is that word again, it’s real short…

Haven’t touched it since then.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson

DownByTheRiver said:


> I will make one other iffy suggestion and don't do it if you don't want to and aren't comfortable with it and haven't forgiven him.
> 
> If you want to make him a little happier about your smaller boobs, go buy yourself a demi bra. They are the little ones that push your boobs up and together and make them look big. You might want to leave that on unless he just removes it during sex. But definitely wait a while until things have settled down so that he doesn't get the idea you're happy about his attitude. Still it is something you could do that might help his craving and make him drool over you instead of the dake cows in the porn videos.


I had to back up half a dozen responses to figure out what you were talking about. Well I learned something today.


----------



## Rob_1

ccpowerslave said:


> I remember doing Krebs cycle


Man, let me tell you. Krebs cycle was a real chore for me. I was having some hard time from an organic chemistry point of view understanding the ins and outs of the of various catalytic pathways being inserted in order for the next reaction to occur. hard but I got it. Ask me now, some 40 years later about the pathways cascade,damned, I don't remember much. lord, did I smoke pot? I don't remember.


----------



## CallingDrLove

Rob_1 said:


> Man, let me tell you. Krebs cycle was a real chore for me. I was having some hard time from an organic chemistry point of view understanding the ins and outs of the of various catalytic pathways being inserted in order for the next reaction to occur. hard but I got it. Ask me now, some 40 years later about the pathways cascade,damned, I don't remember much. lord, did I smoke pot? I don't remember.


Cindy Is Kinky So She Fornicates More Often

citrate
Isocitrate
Ketoglutarate
Succinate
Succinyl CoA
Fumarate
Malate
Oxaloacetate

I learned it over 20 years ago. I didn’t double check that those are correct but that mnemonic was a lifesaver.

edit: pretty close, got my Succinyl CoA and succinate reversed.


----------



## ThatDarnGuy!

Diana7 said:


> If you have big boobs why do you need them?


To make them look even bigger! 🤣


----------



## BecauseSheWeeps

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> To make them look even bigger! 🤣


Makes total sense. Go big, or go home.


----------



## Rob_1

CallingDrLove said:


> Cindy Is Kinky So She Fornicates More Often
> 
> citrate
> Isocitrate
> Ketoglutarate
> Succinate
> Succinyl CoA
> Fumarate
> Malate
> Oxaloacetate
> 
> I learned it over 20 years ago. I didn’t double check that those are correct but that mnemonic was a lifesaver.


Where were you when I needed you in my life with Cindy.🤣


----------



## Rob_1

Diana7 said:


> If you have big boobs why do you need them?


To feed me better, perhaps?


----------



## *Deidre*

Oh wow, this thread has really derailed. 😂


----------



## CallingDrLove

My apologies for contributing to the biochemistry derailment.


----------



## ThatDarnGuy!

Milk cannons rule! (.Y.) 😘


----------



## CallingDrLove

ccpowerslave said:


> Since I have refrained from viewing porn for 51 days I now feel qualified to judge porn viewers as morally bankrupt!
> 
> 🫃


I’m curious who this is in reference to.


----------



## The Narcissist's Wife

CallingDrLove said:


> I wonder how many husbands are OK with being compared to all the protagonists in their wife’s romance novels?


I personally dont know many women my age who read romance novel...but almost every single man i know aside from my grandfather..views porn. I would say there's a huge difference between being compared to some romantic charming character in a novel who sweeps a woman off her feet..than to a prostitute with fake boobs, stretched out orifices, sleeping with hundreds of random men to make a few bucks.


----------



## The Narcissist's Wife

Beach123 said:


> By don’t you tell him you wish his penis was 4” longer?
> He’s a jerk if he says your body parts should be different!
> You get what you get. Embrace it in all its glory!
> I live in the land of every woman altering every body part - and nothing about it is attractive on those women…
> Most look fake and plasticy. Like clones of grapefruits on their bodies.


Between men and the women of Hollywood..most normal women are pressured to change how they look..to feel insecure for aging like a normal human being or for their bodies changing after childbirth. Its a real shame that such a "modern" "pro woman" world still focuses on such vain things. Heaven forbid you look 50 at the age of 60..or your boobs start to droop or u get stretch marks after having several children. God forbid u might be exhausted from caring for children all day, maintaining the house, making dinner and a million other things..that u might not feel like dropping to your knees to satisfy your husband 5 minutes after he walks in the door...while he sits there and fantasizes that its some girl from a video he watched while at work.


----------



## Casual Observer

Bea22 said:


> Yes he wanted porn way before we met. Always denied that he did and I found out 8 months ago. He kept it secret due to shame. He was molested as a child so theres lots of emotional baggage. I also found out about the molestation 3 years after we married.


Porn per se isn’t necessarily an issue. But if denied, it absolutely is. It becomes an issue of trust an an intimate level. Part of what Dr Minwalla calls “The secret sexual basement.” https://uploads-ssl.webflow.com/617...84d60_The_Secret_Sexual_Basement_Nov_2021.pdf


----------



## ThatDarnGuy!

The Narcissist's Wife said:


> Between men and the women of Hollywood..most normal women are pressured to change how they look..to feel insecure for aging like a normal human being or for their bodies changing after childbirth. Its a real shame that such a "modern" "pro woman" world still focuses on such vain things. Heaven forbid you look 50 at the age of 60..or your boobs start to droop or u get stretch marks after having several children. God forbid u might be exhausted from caring for children all day, maintaining the house, making dinner and a million other things..that u might not feel like dropping to your knees to satisfy your husband 5 minutes after he walks in the door...while he sits there and fantasizes that its some girl from a video he watched while at work.


Just in case you feel a bit insecure. There are lots and I mean lots of guys who find the middle aged housewife to be sexy AF. 

Most women view those fine lines, extra padding, mixed in gray hairs, etc as an eye sore.....But many men view you middle aged housewives as seasoned, matured, and experienced women who have seen a thing or two, been there/done that, sick of bull chit, speak their mind, and know what they want! Y'all no longer give AF about eating that extra serving because that is what you wanted 😂


----------



## The Narcissist's Wife

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> Just in case you feel a bit insecure. There are lots and I mean lots of guys who find the middle aged housewife to be sexy AF.
> 
> Most women view those fine lines, extra padding, mixed in gray hairs, etc as an eye sore.....But many men view you middle aged housewives as seasoned, matured, and experienced women who have seen a thing or two, been there/done that, sick of bull chit, speak their mind, and know what they want! Y'all no longer give AF about eating that extra serving because that is what you wanted 😂


That is nice to hear and a relief..lol.


----------



## ConanHub

Well @Bea22 , I tried to empathize with your situation and this is what I came up with.

I'm a leg and derriere man myself though I absolutely love women and am infatuated with their anatomy including breasts.

That said. Mrs. Conan has the build of a gymnast. She is 5 foot nothing, compact, petite and pretty much small everywhere.

In her 40's she had gained some weight due to quitting smoking and was adapting with exercise and diet. 

She eventually got into running and extreme core workouts and achieved an extremely high level of fitness.

During that time, she lost more than enough weight and her derriere pretty much disappeared.
Conan was not happy.....😡

I had always been supportive of her but I didn't hesitate to inform her I wasn't happy about seeing less of her, specifically, less of her wonderful bottom!


She adapted and got some of her wonderful rump back for me and all was well.

Regardless of my experience, your smaller breasts aren't a sign of too much fitness.

Being healthy and athletic are wonderful traits and your husband should be supportive though he should be honest with you.

If he was cruel, that needs dealt with, hopefully with counseling.

His porn use is a different topic but breasts do get smaller and more athletic on a woman that loses weight.

Hopefully you can come to a healthy understanding.

I haven't checked if you have had counseling yet but would you consider it?


----------



## ccpowerslave

CallingDrLove said:


> I’m curious who this is in reference to.


There are former porn viewers on here who have reformed and lecture about the evils of it. I was taking a jab at them although it is true I haven’t viewed any in 51 days.


----------



## Diana7

The Narcissist's Wife said:


> I personally dont know many women my age who read romance novel...but almost every single man i know aside from my grandfather..views porn. I would say there's a huge difference between being compared to some romantic charming character in a novel who sweeps a woman off her feet..than to a prostitute with fake boobs, stretched out orifices, sleeping with hundreds of random men to make a few bucks.


Sadly many married men as well.


----------



## FarmTownGirl

Bea22 said:


> Hi,
> 
> My husband has always loved big boobs. Almost like a fetish. When we met I had bigger ones because I weighed more.
> I lost alot of weight and although they aren't A cups, they are smaller. I love them and my body much more being smaller.
> I recently discovered his porn use that he's been hiding from me for 10 years. Most of them was big boob videos etc.
> After this trauma, I couldn't eat and lost more weight. He made comments about my boobs getting smaller, as if it's the most important thing.
> Now, a week ago, he admitted that he sometimes wish they were bigger.
> This really hurts me, and I don't know if most men wish this? I mean there are things about him I also don't like (I've heard by many people I'm the most attractive one) . But the difference is, I don't tell him because it'll hurt him.
> Am I overreacting to being hurt?


I would not use the word "over-reacting" -- If your feelings are hurt they are hurt. But I would say the hurt may be all in your head. What I mean by that is your husband wishes your boobs were bigger. So what? Men are very visual and many are real breast men. But is he going to leave you? Is he going to cheat? Does he lie awake nights thinking he screwed up by marrying you? Or does he just wish your boobs were bigger the way my husband wishes my but were firmer but so what, he loves me and wants to be with me regardless. Just like you wish certain things about your husband but you're sensitive and tactful enough not to say it out loud. And hopefully you're not lying awake nights feeling regret that you're with him over those things.

Some men know better than to say something like that to their wife, but the reason some men are clueless enough to say it out loud MIGHT be because it's so NOT a big deal to them that they don't understand why it's hurtful to you. (Or it could be they're being mean, hoping to make you feel insecure so you'll get a boob job. That would be more serious.)

Has your husband stopped the porn habit? Because that can be a problem where they see these "perfect" images that are not realistic and then they do become dissatisfied with their wife's body over some fantasy that doesn't exist.


----------



## Junebug86

Bea22 said:


> Hi,
> 
> My husband has always loved big boobs. Almost like a fetish. When we met I had bigger ones because I weighed more.
> I lost alot of weight and although they aren't A cups, they are smaller. I love them and my body much more being smaller.
> I recently discovered his porn use that he's been hiding from me for 10 years. Most of them was big boob videos etc.
> After this trauma, I couldn't eat and lost more weight. He made comments about my boobs getting smaller, as if it's the most important thing.
> Now, a week ago, he admitted that he sometimes wish they were bigger.
> This really hurts me, and I don't know if most men wish this? I mean there are things about him I also don't like (I've heard by many people I'm the most attractive one) . But the difference is, I don't tell him because it'll hurt him.
> Am I overreacting to being hurt?





Bea22 said:


> 1st of YES HE HAS A FETISH. You don't know him. I do. And I didn't have BIG BOOBS to begin with it was just bigger. So that's on him then.
> Second, i lost the weight that I had extra and I did it for myself. Because I want to be healthy.
> I never said porn created his FETISH. I mentioned that I don't know if it amplifies the need to have a wife with BIG BOOBS


Too many assumptions by others! He might be noticing the big boobs whenever he goes somewhere, it doesn’t have to come from porn. There are plenty of women that have breast implants and so many of them go overboard and they get lots of attention. Not the kind of attention most of us want but, how sad is it that’s what they feel like they need to do? If a woman sees that as enhances her looks, that’s fine too. But, it sounds like you are perfectly comfortable with who you are and want you have. Maybe, you should be honest with your husband and tell him how badly it hurts you. Perhaps, he is clueless.


----------



## ThatDarnGuy!

FarmTownGirl said:


> Or it could be they're being mean, hoping to make you feel insecure so you'll get a boob job. That would be more serious.


I am not guilty of this, but do not ever ever suggest your lady get a boob job. That would absolutely destroy her confidence with you just the same as if she asked her guy to get a penis enlargement.

I knew my wife wanted a boob job early while we were dating. I was completely fine with them and thought it was all talk until she finally told me one day she scheduled a consultation


----------



## RandomDude

I wish attraction was a choice


----------



## TexasMom1216

RandomDude said:


> I wish attraction was a choice


She cannot be the only skinny girl with long legs around you. Go out with some buddies and look for skinny long legs girls so you can get this work one out of your system. It's never a good idea to date at work.


----------



## No Longer Lonely Husband

interesting song. For the record l love them all big or small.


----------



## RandomDude

TexasMom1216 said:


> She cannot be the only skinny girl with long legs around you. Go out with some buddies and look for skinny long legs girls so you can get this work one out of your system. It's never a good idea to date at work.


Shhh 🤫 no threadjacking 



No Longer Lonely Husband said:


> For the record l love them all big or small.


Wish I can be that open


----------



## ThatDarnGuy!

No Longer Lonely Husband said:


> interesting song. For the record l love them all big or small.








Saw him back in January. My lady did her American duty and got Rodney's attention 🤣🤣


----------



## No Longer Lonely Husband

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> Saw him back in January. My lady did her American duty and got Rodney's attention 🤣🤣


Mrs NLLH and one of her pals did the same when I saw him about 8 years ago when he did “Show them to me“. My pal and I were somewhat surprised at those two women, 50 years old at the time.


----------



## Rus47

I plead guilty. The first thing I noticed when first saw my wife to be in HS was her beautiful C cups in a too small bikini. I still marvel that she dated me.


----------



## Music4Life

She'sStillGotIt said:


> How utterly RIDICULOUS to see so many posters actually trying to blame this guy's preference for large breasts on *porn*.
> 
> _Seriously?????_
> 
> Following the 'logic' of this *ridiculous* argument, that would mean that before porn was readily available to men (like it is today), I guess they all walked around clueless, not knowing what they liked or what they preferred in a woman because they didn't have porn to TELL them what to like. 🙄
> 
> See how ridiculous you all sound?
> 
> My husband is over 60 and ever since he was 15 or 16, he knew he was a 'breast' man and trust me, porn wasn't readily available back then. There were no computers, no cell phones, no video players, no scrambled "adult" channels, and if you wanted to watch porn you had to buy it from the backs of magazines and since it was a reel of film, you also had to buy a projector to play it. But _*amazingly*_, by only having seen pictures in magazines and actual real women in person, my husband was able to - ALL ON HIS OWN - decide that he likes big breasts. How in the world did THAT happen without him watching porn for 10 years????
> 
> Why, it's a Christmas miracle, folks!!!
> 
> Ladies, stop blaming porn for everything WRONG in your marriages and start blaming the one RESPONSIBLE - the piece of genetic waste you all married.


THANK YOU! I too am a breast man, and that's more rare these days now that everyone is obsessed with butts. But like your husband, I knew I liked big boobs before I knew what porn was LOL. Many women have a self-prescribed narrative about men and porn that really just isn't true. The truth is men just like naked women - period. Some are boob guys, some butts, some legs and feet, some are all about a pretty face or long hair. We have ALL KINDS of preferences, and it's just natural. The issue comes in with the guys who take things too far and really do develop dependencies and insatiable desires due to it. But for most men, we just like what we like. This guy actually saying the quiet part out loud is what messed him up. I tell my wife all the time whenever I see a nice set of big boobs that catch my eye. Hers are pretty big too, so maybe that's why she doesn't care too much. But she is also appreciates me just being a manly man and not feeling ashamed to tell her stuff like that. It's really not a big deal. We've been speaking openly and honestly since we started dating though. I appreciated you chiming in as a woman with your perspective. We need more of it!


----------



## ThatDarnGuy!

Music4Life said:


> THANK YOU! I too am a breast man, and that's more rare these days now that everyone is obsessed with butts. But like your husband, I knew I liked big boobs before I knew what porn was LOL. Many women have a self-prescribed narrative about men and porn that really just isn't true. The truth is men just like naked women - period. Some are boob guys, some butts, some legs and feet, some are all about a pretty face or long hair. We have ALL KINDS of preferences, and it's just natural. The issue comes in with the guys who take things too far and really do develop dependencies and insatiable desires due to it. But for most men, we just like what we like. This guy actually saying the quiet part out loud is what messed him up. I tell my wife all the time whenever I see a nice set of big boobs that catch my eye. Hers are pretty big too, so maybe that's why she doesn't care too much. But she is also appreciates me just being a manly man and not feeling ashamed to tell her stuff like that. It's really not a big deal. We've been speaking openly and honestly since we started dating though. I appreciated you chiming in as a woman with your perspective. We need more of it!


Women are just like men in talking about bodies 🤣. They are just not as outspoken..... I have heard nurses and staff giggling about how big a patients member is. I have also heard groups of women in break rooms talking sexually without realizing others are around.

Women often act innocent, but their minds are just as dirty.


----------



## Sfort

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> Women often act innocent, but their minds are just as dirty.


Some...definitely not all.


----------



## SnakePlissken

Getting therapy for the CSA may help with the heavy porn use. It is common for men who were victims of CSA to excessively masturbate and porn facilitates it.

It sounds like your husband has a brain to mouth filter that could use some improvement or may not exist.

It always baffles me when spouses tear each other down instead of build each other up. Did you tell him how much that statement hurt you? I dont understand what porn has to do with being tactful to your wife. Not debating here whether or not it is a destructive thing to a marriage...that's already been covered methinks. Seems like separate issues to me.


----------



## ThatDarnGuy!

Sfort said:


> Some...definitely not all.


Certainly not all, but I have heard middle aged and innocent looking soccer mom's sound like a 1800 sex operator lol 😂


----------



## Sfort

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> Certainly not all, but I have heard middle aged and innocent looking soccer mom's sound like a 1800 sex operator lol 😂


How are you privy to such conversations, out of curiosity?


----------



## ThatDarnGuy!

Sfort said:


> How are you privy to such conversations, out of curiosity?


Women in office environments love to talk when they don't believe any men are around. But when I get a service call in their area, they often have no clue I am there.


----------



## TexasMom1216

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> Women are just like men in talking about bodies 🤣. They are just not as outspoken..... I have heard nurses and staff giggling about how big a patients member is. I have also heard groups of women in break rooms talking sexually without realizing others are around.
> 
> Women often act innocent, but their minds are just as dirty.


I can testify that this is in fact truth.


----------



## FarmTownGirl

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> I am not guilty of this, but do not ever ever suggest your lady get a boob job. That would absolutely destroy her confidence with you just the same as if she asked her guy to get a penis enlargement.
> 
> I knew my wife wanted a boob job early while we were dating. I was completely fine with them and thought it was all talk until she finally told me one day she scheduled a consultation


I don't know. My husband would like it if I got a boob job, and with him, it doesn't bother me at all. I guess because I know he's ecstatic to be with me. It's like "that would be fun!" to him. But he would never push it and if I don't want to, he's not going to pout or fret. I actually considered it with him, because ...it might be fun... (nothing dramatic, just a full C-cup would be nice.) But then I started hearing about women who believe they have had autoimmune reactions causing serious health issues after getting boob jobs.

what I don't understand is why he would rather I get a boob job than a face lift. I feel much more self conscious about my aging face than my barely-B boobs.

Point being -- when your man makes you feel secure, feminine, and sexy, it's not so threatening to know he has a thing for hard bodies, bigger boobs, longer hair, darker skin, whatever... At the end of the day, the best boobs are the ones he gets to touch.


----------



## FarmTownGirl

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> Women are just like men in talking about bodies 🤣. They are just not as outspoken..... I have heard nurses and staff giggling about how big a patients member is. I have also heard groups of women in break rooms talking sexually without realizing others are around.
> 
> Women often act innocent, but their minds are just as dirty.


I don't know. women may like to giggle over a hot guy. And there's nothing wrong with being good looking! Especially healthy and reasonably fit. But I honestly think most women are *more *turned on by things like power, confidence, charisma, and financial security than the man's looks. Assuming the guy is average looking. If he's really not attractive then he'd better be *really *rich, confident, and powerful to be sexy.


----------



## RandomDude

FarmTownGirl said:


> Point being -- when your man makes you feel secure, feminine, and sexy, it's not so threatening to know he has a thing for hard bodies, bigger boobs, longer hair, darker skin, whatever... At the end of the day, the best boobs are the ones he gets to touch.


Sure and its easy to show your partner how sexy she is when she's at her best, but over time due to circumstances her sex appeal may wane. I always found it difficult to communicate turn offs to someone I love and based on this thread will just have to keep a tight lip. 🤐


----------



## GoodDad5

This breaks my heart to hear of husbands telling their wives they wish something about their looks was different. My wife has a C cup and to me they are perfect, even after 20 years. She has the typical wife/mom body but I find that so attractive because I'm also still attracted to her personality. Her hangup is her stomach and as she puts it her lack of posterior. To me boob size shouldn't matter, just like penis size for a man shouldn't matter. I honestly don't get the big boob thing. 

My wife has always, and still is hung up on her body image and it affects our sex life. I used to be into porn but I stopped that in the last year or so because I got tired of it being my only outlet for a pretty much sexless marriage. Last month I started focusing more on me and getting in better shape and now my wife has been more vocal about wanting to get into better shape herself. 

For the OP, it's your husband's loss if he doesn't like your boob size.


----------



## Rus47

GoodDad5 said:


> To me boob size shouldn't matter, just like penis size for a man shouldn't matter. I honestly don't get the big boob thing.


Maybe shouldn't, but does. People of both genders will insist in polite company ( or even on an anonymous forum ) that looks and/or physical attributes don't matter. But we know they do. I read somewhere that height is a big determiner of how high in a company a man will go. Six feet or over have much more representation in C-suite. Or the blind surveys of women showing preferred male having Alpha physical characteristics, broad shoulders, lantern jaw, six feet or more. Why were "Barbie" and "Ken" a thing. Barbie represented a small percentage of women physically, but how many of the dolls sold? A doll looking like Jane average?

And if size didn't matter, why are implants such a common and lucrative business? Even with all the news and lawsuits about damage done by them, women continue to line up to get them done at significant cost. All of the women my wife knows who got them did it because THEY wanted them. In several cases the husband was very much opposed for obvious reasons.

Beautiful people of both genders just naturally do better socially, financially than us hoi polloi "little people". People like what they like even if they won't admit their preferences. Everyone instinctively knows that. If there were a safe procedure to increase male height, they would all be over six feet.


----------



## Married but Happy

Yes, size matters to some degree. I am put off by very large boobs, but up to a DD is fine. Small is good too. Many other things matter more for a relationship.


----------



## Rus47

Married but Happy said:


> Yes, size matters to some degree. I am put off by very large boobs, but up to a DD is fine. Small is good too. Many other things matter more for a relationship.


I can't even fathom DD! Isn't the same as F in other countries? 

All I will say is the original "hook" that drew my eyes to my wife to be was her rack. Now once we started dating, the entire package mattered more, in fact her personality and outlook on life mattered much more than any part of her physical appearance. She was kind, empathetic, not entitled, mature beyond her years. The thing is though, physical is what attracted me to begin with.

Lord knows what attracted her to me lol,


----------



## SunCMars

Rob_1 said:


> When I was in college, I was tutoring math a group of friends of mine because they all were behind in their grades. The thing is, I would explain to them something and they all would be Oh, yes, we got it, I see it now. Next day when I was going to recap with them the previous session, they all had a blank stare when asked to a particular point. That night I came to find out that they all were smoking pot before coming to the tutoring classes. It was then and there, that I realized why they were all "getting it" and then not remembering much next day. That was the last time I got together with them for math tutoring. I told them that they were assholes, wasting my time when I could be either studying myself, or doing something else.


On an opposite note:

Many young people take Adderall to help them focus and remember.

I drank lots of coffee.
Still do!


----------



## SunCMars

TexasMom1216 said:


> It's not uncomfortable, but if you already have big boobs it makes them look absurd. They were in my throat. Crazytown.


Well, thank goodness for sport bras.

Ladies with big boobs find it harder to be taken seriously.


----------



## FloridaGuy1

Don't mean to be a threadjack so of course ignore if you think it is but I wonder how women who have augmentation done made the decision? Was it their choice or driven by the husband\BF suggestion?


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## TexasMom1216

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Don't mean to be a threadjack so of course ignore if you think it is but I wonder how women who have augmentation done made the decision? Was it their choice or driven by the husband\BF suggestion?


I think it is a threadjack. Start a new thread and I will explain my decision.


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## RandomDude

Rus47 said:


> Maybe shouldn't, but does. People of both genders will insist in polite company ( or even on an anonymous forum ) that looks and/or physical attributes don't matter. But we know they do. I read somewhere that height is a big determiner of how high in a company a man will go. Six feet or over have much more representation in C-suite. Or the blind surveys of women showing preferred male having Alpha physical characteristics, broad shoulders, lantern jaw, six feet or more. Why were "Barbie" and "Ken" a thing. Barbie represented a small percentage of women physically, but how many of the dolls sold? A doll looking like Jane average?
> 
> And if size didn't matter, why are implants such a common and lucrative business? Even with all the news and lawsuits about damage done by them, women continue to line up to get them done at significant cost. All of the women my wife knows who got them did it because THEY wanted them. In several cases the husband was very much opposed for obvious reasons.
> 
> Beautiful people of both genders just naturally do better socially, financially than us hoi polloi "little people". People like what they like even if they won't admit their preferences. Everyone instinctively knows that. If there were a safe procedure to increase male height, they would all be over six feet.


There is no accounting for taste, my last ex liked the dad bod. No kidding, she fattened me up for it. My pretty face got chubby too though.
Losing all that weight and back to my natural self I like my face better, and it seems based on the fawns/stares I am getting again I'm going to keep it that way!

People are shallow, and I hate the fact that we can't admit it. I'm also at 180cm, and it bet it reduces my odds in OLD, but I get away with it in RL 
The saving grace is that people have different tastes. For instance, I wouldn't give two sh-ts about boob or butt size, but I'm all over the length/shape of her legs.

Love is one thing, but raw sexual attraction is another and it isn't a choice.


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## Numb26

All I have to say about this boob discussion is this.....Boobs don't make the woman. Big, small, round, pear shaped, doesn't matter. Has no bearing on who the woman is.


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## ThatDarnGuy!

Rus47 said:


> I can't even fathom DD! Isn't the same as F in other countries?
> 
> All I will say is the original "hook" that drew my eyes to my wife to be was her rack. Now once we started dating, the entire package mattered more, in fact her personality and outlook on life mattered much more than any part of her physical appearance. She was kind, empathetic, not entitled, mature beyond her years. The thing is though, physical is what attracted me to begin with.
> 
> Lord knows what attracted her to me lol,


The cup letter isn't always a good indicator of the size of the milk cannon 😆. A lot of it depends on the frame of the lady.. A triple D won't look the same on a lady who is 135lbs and size 2 compared to a lady who is 190 and size 12/14.


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## RandomDude

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> The cup letter isn't always a good indicator of the size of the milk cannon 😆. A lot of it depends on the frame of the lady.. A triple D won't look the same on a lady who is 135lbs and size 2 compared to a lady who is 190 and size 12/14.


Jebus, you boob-guys even have technicalities just like us leg-men lol. 
For us it's like height/length-to-body-ratio/shape/etc etc.


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## ThatDarnGuy!

RandomDude said:


> Jebus, you boob-guys even have technicalities just like us leg-men lol.
> For us it's like height/length-to-body-ratio/shape/etc etc.


I don't care if they don't match or ones bigger than the other. You could show me one, and I'll imagine the other. Even if you're really old, theres nothing wrong. Don't be sad your boobs ain't bad, they're just a little long 🤣


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## RandomDude

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> I don't care if they don't match or ones bigger than the other. You could show me one, and I'll imagine the other. Even if you're really old, theres nothing wrong. Don't be sad your boobs ain't bad, they're just a little long 🤣


Hahhahahaah OMG


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## Rus47

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> The cup letter isn't always a good indicator of the size of the milk cannon 😆. A lot of it depends on the frame of the lady.. A triple D won't look the same on a lady who is 135lbs and size 2 compared to a lady who is 190 and size 12/14.


Oh for sure it only part of the whole package. A petite woman with C cup is impressive, speaking from experience. I can fathom D, as the wife's blew up in pregnancy to that size. But DD cant imagine. Too much of a good thing. The "more than a mouthful" meme. Also, too "outstanding" will attract unwanted attention.


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## FloridaGuy1

Rus47 said:


> Oh for sure it only part of the whole package. A petite woman with C cup is impressive, speaking from experience. I can fathom D, as the wife's blew up in pregnancy to that size. But DD cant imagine. Too much of a good thing. The "more than a mouthful" meme. Also, too "outstanding" will attract unwanted attention.


I had a girlfriend in college who had FF. Now that was an adventure!


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## Married but Happy

Women with a K cup make decent coffee.


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## She'sStillGotIt

Bea22 said:


> _*Someone needs soms anger management...!! 😂😂 Calm down will you. Porn has an influence in how men sees and perceives women. Not saying it's the porns fault. Just saying it may be enabling the fetish and idea that all women should have big boobs to be sexy.*_



I don't need anger management. You need to realize that LONG before porn, men had their own preferences as to what they liked and what they didn't. 

It's just so tiresome hearing women blame porn for EVERYTHING their men do that they don't like or approve of. It's utterly *ridiculous*.


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## TexasMom1216

She'sStillGotIt said:


> I don't need anger management. You need to realize that LONG before porn, men had their own preferences as to what they liked and what they didn't.
> 
> It's just so tiresome hearing women blame porn for EVERYTHING their men do that they don't like or approve of. It's utterly *ridiculous*.


It’s like blaming whiskey for alcoholism or pills for drug addiction. People have free will. Inanimate objects do not cause behaviors.


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## ccpowerslave

Rus47 said:


> I plead guilty. The first thing I noticed when first saw my wife to be in HS was her beautiful C cups in a too small bikini. I still marvel that she dated me.


I noticed first how smart my wife was and then immediately after her beautiful C cups in a too small tank top. I have tried recreating this by buying her too small tank tops but she doesn’t wear them.


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## Rus47

ccpowerslave said:


> I noticed first how smart my wife was and then immediately after her beautiful C cups in a too small tank top. I have tried recreating this by buying her too small tank tops but she doesn’t wear them.


My wife hasnt worn a bikini since HS.


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## ccpowerslave

Rus47 said:


> My wife hasnt worn a bikini since HS.


Occasionally I can get my wife to wear something I bought for her and yes it is amazing 🤩


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## RandomDude

She'sStillGotIt said:


> It's just so tiresome hearing women blame porn for EVERYTHING their men do that they don't like or approve of. It's utterly *ridiculous*.


As a leg man, and there being no porn for legs (either than everyday life), I concur


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## In Absentia

RandomDude said:


> As a leg man, and there being no porn for legs (either than everyday life), I concur


No porn for legs?


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## Rus47

ccpowerslave said:


> Occasionally I can get my wife to wear something I bought for her and yes it is amazing 🤩


Honestly I am happy with full access anytime we have privacy. I have never bought her clothing, she is specific about her likes n dislikes and I always like her choices


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

In Absentia said:


> No porn for legs?


Is that a trick question?


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## bobert

RandomDude said:


> As a leg man, and there being no porn for legs (either than everyday life), I concur


Oh, I bet it's out there. The other day I found out there are porn sites that only show the neck up. No nudity, no bits, just faces, facial expressions, and noises. 

If there is porn of that and of feet, I'm sure someone is making porn of just legs🦵 

Look harder!


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## TexasMom1216

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Is that a trick question?


Sounds like a challenge... it's like a scavenger hunt! 😁


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## RandomDude

bobert said:


> Oh, I bet it's out there. The other day I found out there are porn sites that only show the neck up. *No nudity, no bits*, just faces, facial expressions, and noises.
> 
> If there is porn of that and of feet, I'm sure someone is making porn of *just legs*🦵
> 
> Look harder!


But it doesn't count as porn! 
There's no private parts so it can't be classed as porn! 😜


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## bobert

RandomDude said:


> But it doesn't count as porn!
> There's no private parts so it can't be classed as porn! 😜


The definition of porn is "material that is intended to cause sexual excitement"  No mention of nudity.


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## RandomDude

bobert said:


> The definition of porn is "material that is intended to cause sexual excitement"  No mention of nudity.


Lol but then google needs to tighten up on its 'sexual content' if anyone can just google sexy legs 

But how about the sexy pairs that walk past on a day to day basis? That's not 'material' 
Heck even the sound of heels can excite


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

RandomDude said:


> Lol but then google needs to tighten up on its 'sexual content' if anyone can just google sexy legs
> 
> But how about the sexy pairs that walk past on a day to day basis? That's not 'material'
> Heck even the sound of heels can excite


Google do an honest fact check on itself?
Hahahaha..I 🤣🤣🤣


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## leftfield

RandomDude said:


> Lol but then google needs to tighten up on its 'sexual content' if anyone can just google sexy legs
> 
> But how about the sexy pairs that walk past on a day to day basis? That's not 'material'
> Heck even the sound of heels can excite


They would need to put a warning on just about anything that has a female in it.


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## Personal

Rus47 said:


> My wife hasnt worn a bikini since HS.


Does she go to nude beaches like my wife?


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## Rooster2015

Bea22 said:


> Hi,
> 
> My husband has always loved big boobs. Almost like a fetish. When we met I had bigger ones because I weighed more.
> I lost alot of weight and although they aren't A cups, they are smaller. I love them and my body much more being smaller.
> I recently discovered his porn use that he's been hiding from me for 10 years. Most of them was big boob videos etc.
> After this trauma, I couldn't eat and lost more weight. He made comments about my boobs getting smaller, as if it's the most important thing.
> Now, a week ago, he admitted that he sometimes wish they were bigger.
> This really hurts me, and I don't know if most men wish this? I mean there are things about him I also don't like (I've heard by many people I'm the most attractive one) . But the difference is, I don't tell him because it'll hurt him.
> Am I overreacting to being hurt?


I want to tell you something. My wife of nine years had big boobs when we met. She didn’t like them big. Against my wishes she had a reduction. From D to C. I loved her the same. Then recently she lost thirty five pounds. They got smaller. Between a C and a B. I told her how much I loved her look. She is my best friend. The point I am making is if you mean that much to him your breast size means nothing. Look how many guys have beer belly’s and their wives love them the way they are. JMO


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## Rus47

Bea22 said:


> I recently discovered his porn use that he's been hiding from me for 10 years. Most of them was big boob videos etc.


This is terrible. The details of what he watches don't really matter, He has been expending energy that belonged to you.



Bea22 said:


> Now, a week ago, he admitted that he sometimes wish they were bigger.
> This really hurts me, and I don't know* if most men wish this*?


Of course you are hurt, I can think of something you could tell him you wish was bigger on him that would totally sink his ship. Most men are happy with their wives just as they are. 



Bea22 said:


> Am I overreacting to being hurt?


No you aren't. Not sure how to recover from this, he doesn't sound like a very loving husband.


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## so_sweet

Rus47 said:


> If there were a safe procedure to increase male height, they would all be over six feet.


This actually made me think of it on a more personal note.

I don't know if I'm an odd ball, but I prefer my guy not to be a lot taller than me. I'm slightly over 5'5" and my husband is slightly under 5'9" and I love it!

I once dated a man 6'4" and I didn't like the height difference. For example, I like that my husband doesn't really have to bend down to kiss me and we can hold hands comfortably.

A single friend/co-worker once said she liked tall men because of things like she felt protected, she could wear high heels and it made her feel smaller next to a tall guy. To me, it sounded more like she needed a personal security guard and some Spanx instead of a boyfriend, and to wear the darn heels if she wanted to regardless of a man's height.


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## Lawcher62

Bea22 said:


> Hi,
> 
> My husband has always loved big boobs. Almost like a fetish. When we met I had bigger ones because I weighed more.
> I lost alot of weight and although they aren't A cups, they are smaller. I love them and my body much more being smaller.
> I recently discovered his porn use that he's been hiding from me for 10 years. Most of them was big boob videos etc.
> After this trauma, I couldn't eat and lost more weight. He made comments about my boobs getting smaller, as if it's the most important thing.
> Now, a week ago, he admitted that he sometimes wish they were bigger.
> This really hurts me, and I don't know if most men wish this? I mean there are things about him I also don't like (I've heard by many people I'm the most attractive one) . But the difference is, I don't tell him because it'll hurt him.
> Am I overreacting to being hurt?


mum very very top heavy UK 34JJ. My husband is boob mad I lost loads weight he joked about my smaller breast but tbh they were still big

of your husband loves you boobs won’t matter
Maybe reverse it on him pick something on his body he’s insecure about and make remarks that are negative sometimes peope need the same medicine to cure their nasty remarks


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## CallingDrLove

so_sweet said:


> This actually made me think of it on a more personal note.
> 
> I don't know if I'm an odd ball, but I prefer my guy not to be a lot taller than me. I'm slightly over 5'5" and my husband is slightly under 5'9" and I love it!
> 
> I once dated a man 6'4" and I didn't like the height difference. For example, I like that my husband doesn't really have to bend down to kiss me and we can hold hands comfortably.
> 
> A single friend/co-worker once said she liked tall men because of things like she felt protected, she could wear high heels and it made her feel smaller next to a tall guy. To me, it sounded more like she needed a personal security guard and some Spanx instead of a boyfriend, and to wear the darn heels if she wanted to regardless of a man's height.


you would like absolutely nothing about me 😂😂😂

we’ve ready established you don’t like guys in my profession

well guess what, I’m 6’ 4”.


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## so_sweet

CallingDrLove said:


> you would like absolutely nothing about me 😂😂😂
> 
> we’ve ready established you don’t like guys in my profession
> 
> well guess what, I’m 6’ 4”.


Okay, that made me literally laugh out loud!

P.S. I'd overlook the 6'4" part if you became a "professional dog walker"!  (I think you may recall that comment!)

Thanks for the laugh!


----------



## CallingDrLove

so_sweet said:


> Okay, that made me literally laugh out loud!
> 
> P.S. I'd overlook the 6'4" part if you became a "professional dog walker"!  (I think you may recall that comment!)
> 
> Thanks for the laugh!


I just thought it was funny, didn’t mean anything malicious at all. Someone for everyone.


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## so_sweet

CallingDrLove said:


> I just thought it was funny, didn’t mean anything malicious at all. Someone for everyone.


I thought it was funny too and I was joking as well in my post above. I didn't find anything malicious about what you said. And, yes, someone for everyone.


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## Divinely Favored

Bea22 said:


> I found out Aug 2021.... And he stopped when he saw what it did to is. I almost left him. So it's been 8 months. We started therapy 2 months ago at this new therapist and he's great.
> I'll Def do that, I feel like sometimes emotional damage is too great to really change. He's been emotionally closed off since he was 9 years old. He's 36 now. Maybe I'm wanting a change too soon?
> 
> I just don't think it's normal for a husband to say this to his wife.


If I were you I probably would have responded, "Well I wish your D was bigger too, but we have to work with what we got don't we?"


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## CallingDrLove

I’m amazed by some of the hypocrisy I see here. Let’s be honest here, the male analogue to “I wish your boobs were bigger” is NOT “I wish your penis was bigger”, it’s actually “I wish you made more money”. Women claim they would never say the one but have no problem saying the other.

This is especially true if we believe that men are drawn to a woman’s looks and women are drawn to a man’s ability to protect and provide.

To be clear this isn’t me being sensitive or butthurt because I make lots of money and my wife says my penis is too big I just can’t stand double standards and hypocrisy.

Also my wife has big boobs so I’m not jealous about that either. Her law school transcript and her bra have one thing in common, they both contain 2 Ds.


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## ThatDarnGuy!

Rooster2015 said:


> I want to tell you something. My wife of nine years had big boobs when we met. She didn’t like them big. Against my wishes she had a reduction. From D to C. I loved her the same. Then recently she lost thirty five pounds. They got smaller. Between a C and a B. I told her how much I loved her look. She is my best friend. The point I am making is if you mean that much to him your breast size means nothing. Look how many guys have beer belly’s and their wives love them the way they are. JMO


That is pretty extreme to go under the knife for such a small change of just 1 cup size. Mine went from a C to a DDD, but implants aren't the same weight as natural tissue and she added about 2.6lbs.


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## Divinely Favored

Bea22 said:


> He has mentioned before that he doesn't give too much compliments because he doesn't want me getting a big head. So I think he feels insecure about the attention I get from men. He is very jealous. And he has a very low self esteem
> Like I said my boobs are Def not the smallest.
> The more I think about this, the more I think it's actually sad.


Perfect time for lift and implant if you want them.

Mom had classmate who's hubby worked off. She was large chested and lost a bit of weight....well her chest did not really get any smaller. It gave her more of a Dolly Pardon figure than she had before. He did not like that it drew even more attention to her chest and made the comment she looked like crap. 

They had a class reunion and she wanted him to attend. He was going to be working and she told him if he was not there, she would be leaving the reunion with someone else. 

He showed up in her new Lincoln Town Car he bought her as an I'm sorry for being a Dik.


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## Diana7

CallingDrLove said:


> I’m amazed by some of the hypocrisy I see here. Let’s be honest here, the male analogue to “I wish your boobs were bigger” is NOT “I wish your penis was bigger”, it’s actually “I wish you made more money”. Women claim they would never say the one but have no problem saying the other.
> 
> This is especially true if we believe that men are drawn to a woman’s looks and women are drawn to a man’s ability to protect and provide.
> 
> To be clear this isn’t me being sensitive or butthurt because I make lots of money and my wife says my penis is too big I just can’t stand double standards and hypocrisy.
> 
> Also my wife has big boobs so I’m not jealous about that either. Her law school transcript and her bra have one thing in common, they both contain 2 Ds.


A woman saying she wished her husband earned more money is also mean.


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## Rob_1

When young, I never considered women with small breast, unless it was just for sex. By the same token, I never liked big breasted women, once again, just for sex, I wouldn't mind one bit.
Any woman I ever was serious about, had breast that were proportioned to her figure. Since I always been attracted to slim figures (do not confuse with skinny. I never liked skinny either), I gather that they all were around C cup.

Now that I'm old, out the the market, hormones don't play a factor anymore, and not a prospect to women anymore, I can see small breasted women and find them attractive if proportional. I still can't be attracted to big breasts.

We all are attracted to what we are attracted. Nothing you can do about it. That's nature. That's the initial stage requirement for two individuals: attraction. No attraction and you get into a relationship with a person, then, it will be a disaster. 

After a period of time physical attraction is not as important to most couples in love, but all the other things that comes into play to carry the relationship forward. 
If my wife were to have a complete mastectomy due to cancer, would I leave her? dump her? be gross out with her? The answer is: absolutely not. It wouldn't matter to me. I would rather have her without breasts, than not have her at all.


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## TexasMom1216

Diana7 said:


> A woman saying she wished her husband earned more money is also mean.


To me, it's a lot worse than saying you wish he were more generously endowed. There's a word for women who exchange sex for money, and it's not a nice word. FWIW, I only know one girl who married for money who is happy now (I knew a lot of women who did when I was in my late 20s-early 30s), and her situation is very unicorny.


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## SunCMars

TexasMom1216 said:


> It’s like blaming whiskey for alcoholism or pills for drug addiction. People have free will. Inanimate objects do not cause behaviors.


Kinda, sorta, maybe, yes.

For example:

Porn adds fuel to the _red_ _bush fire_, already desired and dreamed of! 

Porn is a force-multiplier. 

A military term, yep.

Easy access to explicit porn makes a bad habit, decidedly worse, quicker.
For many, not all.



_Nemesis- _porn in my original era was displayed in those painted murals in the Greek and Roman bath houses.


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## Rus47

TexasMom1216 said:


> To me, it's a lot worse than saying you wish he were more generously endowed. There's a word for women who exchange sex for money, and it's not a nice word.


Well IMO, a woman wishing her husband made more money is something he can work on, something he has some control over. He can get a better job, start a business on the side, get more certifications, whatever. She might even do both of them a favor by pushing him out of comfort zone into big success. Seem to recall a saying that behind every successful man was a wife pushing.

OTOH, if she wishes hubby was bigger, there isn't a damn thing he can do about that ( yet ). She screwed up by marrying him, so it is really on her doorstep. He didn't do anything wrong, and can't do anything to "fix" himself. And if she verbalizes her wishes in this regard, she might as well walk out the door because the marriage is toast. It would be exactly like the @Bea22 husband verbalizing his wish that her rack was bigger.


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## jenny_1

Bea22 said:


> Am I overreacting to being hurt?


Depends. How is the rest of your relationship? If all else is good, then don't worry about it because there is nothing you can do about your boob size. Eventually he'll probably start to lose hair and the shoe will be in the other foot. You may not like his receding hairline and he might know that, but you shouldn't let that affect your relationship. No one is perfect. You aren't, and neither is he. Just enjoy your life together.


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## Evinrude58

TexasMom1216 said:


> There's been more than one guy come on this forum and warn that if your wife *suddenly* gets into good shape and starts taking care of herself that she's cheating. This is their own insecurity.
> 
> I think you are correct, he is insecure and is projecting that insecurity on you. He's lashing out because he thinks he's either going to lose you or that you're going to cheat on him.


Key word: suddenly. Yep, huge red flag


----------

