# How will you react/think if its you



## chugirl (Apr 17, 2010)

Hello ladies,I hav two question and I will like to know how you will react or think if put in the same situation. the 1st question is how will u react if ur husband of 8years tells u that he has no memories of anything or nothing he cherish that has happened btw you and him. the 2nd question is what will you think if u should find certain text massages in ur husband phone sent by a man,this is what the text massages said "there is something abt u that is so special and unique,just like this morning,when i saw u,u took my breath away and every time am around u,u made my temperature rise,didn't u noticed that last night. each day am wanting u more and more,hope u feel the same way cuz i love u. " Am regretting not sucking it tonight,u are what we call the bomb,a real man". " I had a nice time,so i want to play with my friend,i mean i want to suck it,am i permitted?" So ladies I will like to know ur opinions,thanks.
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## ~Broken~ (Nov 2, 2010)

Is this man someone you know? If you don't know who he is then it's possible that your husband saved this persons contact information in his cell phone under a mans name instead of a womans as a way to throw off suspicion. On the other hand, if he was dumb enough to leave that text sitting there I don't know if he'd think that far ahead. Don't know if that makes you feel any better that it might not be a guy. Either way it doesn't look good at all....
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## chugirl (Apr 17, 2010)

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## chugirl (Apr 17, 2010)

The man is my husbands closest friend whom I know ever since i met my husband,on several occasion I've cought them doing things like hugging,holding hands etc which is strange especially from where I come from. The man is also married so I wonder if the text massages were from the mans wife which he shares with my husband since they happen to be very close,I really dnt know what to think anymore. Pls answer the 1st question also ill like to know how u will feel if its u,as for me I feel like he's made a mockery of the 8years we've been together. thanks again
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## ~Broken~ (Nov 2, 2010)

If my husband told me that I would seriously have to consider if this is someone I want to remain married to. We all have said somthing that we wish we could take back but to say that there is nothing about our relationship that you cherish is crossing the line in my opinion and really sounds like b.s. How can you ever erase those words from your memory? It seems to me that it was meant to hurt you, which I'm sure it did. Also, if he is having an affair then he could be re-writing your history in an attempt to justify his actions. No matter how low my relationship with my husband may get, I could never say that there were no good memories. Any long term relationship has to have some, or else why would it have gone on for so long if there was absolutely no happiness?
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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

I would feel like crap, most likely go through several crying jags and then collect myself and walk out the door. Don't know if it matters that it's a guy or not except that I'd have to face that our relationship was a lie if he is gay and that would hurt even more. I'd be devastated.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

I guess I am with Trenton except with one caveat. I might give husband one, and I mean ONE, chance to take a serious look at the marriage in counseling with me. Then when he inevitably said no or did a half-assed gesture, THEN I would walk.

Sorry this is happening to you. Sounds no fun.


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## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

At first i thought this was a troll post, because it sounded too made up. But i'll give anyone the benefit of the doubt. 

Can't remember anything, huh??? I've actually heard it before, but not from someone i'm dating, it was from a girl who remembered me, but wasn't sure if we ever had sex or not, so that was her way of protecting herself. If my wife would try this, i would laugh on my way out the door with my things. Don't try to play such an obvious game in marriage.

As for the text, it could come from the buddy or the buddy wife. But more than likely it comes from the buddy. No wife would be stupid enough to use her husbands phone knowing her husband could receive some type of crazy response from your husband. I'd confront him on this ASAP, because it sounds as if he's already done the deed. Have him wear protection until you can confirm he hasn't pick up some type of disease.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

On the 1st question.

We've all said things we regret. Sometimes people rewrite history in order for it to match how they are feeling or to excuse their own bad behavior. Yes, it would make me feel bad, but depends on the context and what else was said or how things are going in your marriage.

On the 2nd question.

WOW! This would be a shocker for me too. It sounds like he might be bi-sexual - not necessarily gay. Maybe they both have had this close relationship (which you mentioned they did) from the beginning and you thought nothing of it until you saw the text. I would definitely ask or come up with a way to get this information, this is something you need to know, then you can decide how to deal with it.

I know how you feel...been there. Find out for sure, the wondering will kill you.


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## deb9017 (Nov 8, 2010)

I would think it is seriously time to sit down with my man and have a long heart to heart, and determine what is going on.


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## 4sure (Aug 8, 2010)

?#1 I would think he doesn't love me anymore, and he has ditched all good memories of us. He maybe angry, and the anger has erased the good moments.

?#2 This has happened to me. When I found out I literally got sick. We were together 3 years. For me there wasn't nothing to talk about. This is a deal breaker for me. We parted ways. We split up possessions, and he moved out. I went to dr. for HIV/STD tests. I was never mad, just hurt. I wished him well, and moved on.

Only you know what you want to do. As Panda states she has no problem with it. On the other hand I couldn't/ wouldn't be with a guy who was with another man. Like I said total deal breaker for me.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

If my wife caught someone on my cell phone talking about wanting to "suck it", she would come completely and permanently unglued.


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## chugirl (Apr 17, 2010)

Rob774 u said it sounded too made up? Well its the truth my husband actually said those words. A little background of what transpired before that outburst,I and my hubby hav not had sex for month now,he didn't ask for it nd neither did i (though in my mind I'd wanted it bt coudnt ask for it as I felt he was nt in the mood since he has nt shown any interest at all nd also bc I hav a prblem with initiating sex which has always been an issue 4 us)anyway last week he came into d room when i was halfway asleep nd said something like its like I've forgotten I hav a husband,I jst smile bt in d morning I got ready nd started showing him my intention nd that's when he started shouting on my head that he's fed up with my nt initiating attitude nd that he has no memory of anything special btw me him,nothing he cherishes blah blah blah. Abt him nd he's friend ave suspecting them for sometime now jst didn't hav any proof to go by,there attitude towards each other is jst weird for mere friendship,I can cite so many instances if nt for lack of space. If I should confront him I know shame will make him divorce me and I worry abt what will happen to my 3 kids since I know the society that we live in does not give women custody of their children,bt then again I ask myself how do I live in this sham of a marriage where am jst a cover in the eyes of people for him.
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## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

chugirl said:


> Rob774 u said it sounded too made up? Well its the truth my husband actually said those words. A little background of what transpired before that outburst,I and my hubby hav not had sex for month now,he didn't ask for it nd neither did i (though in my mind I'd wanted it bt coudnt ask for it as I felt he was nt in the mood since he has nt shown any interest at all nd also bc I hav a prblem with initiating sex which has always been an issue 4 us)anyway last week he came into d room when i was halfway asleep nd said something like its like I've forgotten I hav a husband,I jst smile bt in d morning I got ready nd started showing him my intention nd that's when he started shouting on my head that he's fed up with my nt initiating attitude nd that he has no memory of anything special btw me him,nothing he cherishes blah blah blah. Abt him nd he's friend ave suspecting them for sometime now jst didn't hav any proof to go by,there attitude towards each other is jst weird for mere friendship,I can cite so many instances if nt for lack of space. If I should confront him I know shame will make him divorce me and I worry abt what will happen to my 3 kids since I know the society that we live in does not give women custody of their children,bt then again I ask myself how do I live in this sham of a marriage where am jst a cover in the eyes of people for him.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Well like i said, i gave you the benefit of the doubt and still chose to respond just in case. Your husband has issues. My wife hardly ever initiates, i don't make a big deal about it. You are indeed in a tough position. So you have to weigh your options... stay for the kids in a home with no true love between father and mother. Leave for your own peace, but be unsure about your children. Most women in your position stay for the welfare of the kids. Its a shame to have to sacrifice your own happiness, but its what mother have done for a long time. My gut though tells me you should leave him, because the kids will eventually see that there is no love between you guys. But i would understand if you put the kids first...


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## ~Broken~ (Nov 2, 2010)

In my opinion, if your husband IS gay (and it sure sounds like he might be, but is at the very least bi), then you can never have a true marriage with this man. You will both be living a lie and neither of you will truly be fulfilled by the other. Is that the example you want your children to be raised with? Having a parent come out of the closet is confusing enough, I've seen my own family member go through it, let alone adding infidelity, lies, secrets and unhappiness on top of it. Because he "may" be gay does not discount his capability of being a father, and if you work together you can find a way to make this situation and whatever transitions need to be made as smooth as possible for the children. It will take hard work and 2 parents who are committed to it for it to happen, but it can happen. You need to do what is best for you and your children. What will make all involved happy and whole people. 

And please, no matter what, DO NOT have unprotected sex with this man under any circumstances. Get yourself to a doctor and get tested.


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