# 2 years and moving...where?



## bussunda100 (Mar 6, 2012)

I have been with my wife since 2010...2 years of marriage.
Before the marriage we dated for 6 years. so altogether some good 8 years.
Since we married I am constantly assaulted by desire to get single again and enjoy life as a single more. Especially since the last 2 years she struggle to get jobs while I do well in my job. I'm moving up while she struggles even to find a career.
I pay all the bills, rent, food, travel, clothes...I wonder sometimes if I give her free pass everytime, avoid conflict and avoid confrontation. if it is up to her she is happy to be at my side, content with wherever direction we move. I, on the other hand am more ambitious and driven than her. i work harder and know the value of a well spent penny. sometimes i wonder if i deserve better than her? 
ou sex life is mediocre now...sex once a month....sometimes twice a week...i am still young...too young to sacrifice my youth...i miss the thrills of dating new girls and exploring life more...maybe even getting better as a person by exploring more instead of being with her all the time...


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

After dating for six years, you should have known your wife. Why did you marry her, if you felt so incompatible?


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

Do your wife a FAVOR, and divorce her.

YOU are too immature to be married. You resent that she is struggling to find a job; I notice you didn't say she's not looking for a job, she is looking. She just hasn't been successful. And you resent it...in this economy, really?

I don't think you KNOW what you want. You are unhappy because she is content to be by your side and go wherever you want. You THINK you would be happier with a more ambitious woman, but what will happen when you tell her, "Hey, Babe, I got the promotion to San Francisco, we're moving there in 6 weeks!" and she says, "What the h*ll, I"M NOT MOVING, I have a chance to make PARTNER here in 9 more months. I'm not giving THAT up to move somewhere and start all over!" Yeah, so WHOSE CAREER IS GOING TO TAKE PRECEDENCE, yours or hers?

If you think you 'deserve' someone better than her, if you think you deserve someone whose career you can brag about, if you think you deserve to be single again and find some hot babe who would be draping herself all over you today (apparently the only thing holding her back is that ring on your finger), if you think you could find happiness and fulfillment, growth and contentment somewere else, then YOU'RE UNDOUBTEDLY RIGHT!!

Please leave your wife TODAY. You're unhappy and SHE 'DESERVES' BETTER TREATMENT THAN YOUR ATTITUDE. Please leave NOW before she ends up pregnant.


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## bussunda100 (Mar 6, 2012)

I think you are right....I don't know what I want! and that sucks!

i like my wife and we get along well together...it's just that ...dunno....may be i am being immature.

I will wait and support her to try and get a job and then things will be easier I guess, with no so much strain on my shoulder, maybe she will be able to start helping me as much as I helped her. strating sharing bills, food, etc... and then maybe i will feel like we are a team then.


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## bussunda100 (Mar 6, 2012)

The question here i guess is how much sacrifice one is able to make for their loved ones? when is time we can be a little selfish and think about our own happiness as well?


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

bussunda100 said:


> sex life is mediocre now...sex once a month....sometimes twice a week


Was she always like this or did she change after you married her?


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## bussunda100 (Mar 6, 2012)

She has always behaved like this. Like I NEED, MUST help her, like this is a precondition for her life to work out, otherwise nothing. 
I feel a little drained, can't help here. I feel like a father in this relationship, resposnibe for her future, career, invest in her life and counsel her... but I have been realizing the other way is not true as much...she takes for granted everything i do.

I need someone stronger, more willing to help not only her but me too.


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

bussunda100 said:


> She has always behaved like this. Like I NEED, MUST help her, like this is a precondition for her life to work out, otherwise nothing.
> I feel a little drained, can't help here. I feel like a father in this relationship, resposnibe for her future, career, invest in her life and counsel her... but I have been realizing the other way is not true as much...she takes for granted everything i do.
> 
> I need someone stronger, more willing to help not only her but me too.


So were you hoping to change her just because you got married?

Maybe do the right thing & help her (because you make her sound so helpless) to get a job, some savings & some life skills before you bail on her.


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