# My wife having lunches with her physiotherapist



## Leebarth (Oct 21, 2020)

My wife and I are happily married for 10 years now. We have 2 wonderful children together.

Since the last 2 months, she had to visit a physiotherapist due to her neck and lower back issues. The Last session ended about 2 weeks ago (after about 15 sessions). She was so impressed with the work the physiotherapist did and she decided to do a beautiful art work for the therapist. He happened to be a 24 years single male, my wife is 36. When she showed me the art work, I appreciated it, I didn’t mind it at all.

Lately, I felt that she keeps her phone very close to her and spends a lot of time on it. I suspected that she was letting him flirt with her. I had no prof, but I just couldn’t stop being obsessed about it. For more than a week, I kept the pain to myself not to hurt her feelings.


Eventually, I decided to confront her, she admitted that she has became a friend with him as they were discussing his family situation during her physiotherapy and she became compassionate towards him (he comes from a broken family). She also confirmed that she met him once for lunch after the therapy ended and she didn’t tell me about it until now. She said, she kept it from me for my own sake, because I would overreact and hurt myself by obsessing over something that doesn’t exist.

I appreciated her honesty and I apologized to her for being suspicious. Knowing my wife, I didn’t doubt that she was telling me the truth. We had a wonderful heart to heart discussion and told her that the cover up would hurt me more than anything else. I told her that she can be upfront about everything with me.

The next day, she told me that she is going out for lunch with him again. I didn’t appreciate the fact that she is meeting him so often but tried to be understanding, not to hurt her feelings. When she returned from the lunch, i asked her to tell me all the details about their outing and she did.

I told her that I am not comfortable that she is meeting him so often and the frequency of the communications. My concern is that I don’t know what kind of feeling he could develop towards her over time and if this may end up affecting our marriage and the life our 2 young innocent children.

She reacted like I was being overbearing and make her choose what kind of friends she can and cannot have, like I am an oppressing husband from centuries ago.

The last thing I want is to be overbearing and limiting her freedom. I love her to death and I don’t want to hurt her or her feelings.

So my question to you is, am I being over reactive, overbearing, unfair? How would you handle such a situation?


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

This is how it starts. And she’s already gaslighting you about who she choses to be friends with. You need to act now and I would start by reporting this guy to whatever governing body covers health professionals in your area.
Your wife is already on the verge of cheating in my opinion and I would come down very heavy in your situation.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

Your wife is showing all the signs of being a disloyal woman in the midst of an affair. She created a connection with another man. She pursued this guy or at least welcomed his pursuit of her, demonstrated by their communication after the therapy, and her "lunch" dates with him. She is giving him gifts in the form of custom-created artwork, which is, IMO, a sign of affection, and more. 

Your instincts told you that your wife's behavior was off. She confirmed your beliefs when you confronted her, and this is when she gave you some trickle truths. Because you knew something was going on, she gave you a little bit of truth to placate you, but IMO, not the entire truth. 

Like everyone else up to no good, now that you are on to something being wrong, she's turning it around on you. She hid her relationship with this guy, which is undeniably wrong, and she says she did so because of you. This is meant to put you on the defensive. It takes the heat off her actions in hiding this guy from you. Then when you pressed her further about her inappropriate relationship with this guy, she doubled down on her attacks against you, acting like you are being controlling. 

Think about this objectively as best you can. Your wife has befriended another guy, she talks to him frequently, she is meeting him for...."lunch" she hid this from you until you confronted her, and now she is attacking you for even daring to bring it up. Your wife is the one ruining your marriage, yet here you are posting on forums asking about whether or not you are the one behaving inappropriately. You are being manipulated, and most likely, cheated on.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

The '_not going to end well_' notion is looming and beginning to swell before your eyes.

Part of his job is/was touching her and massaging her.
She liked that very much.

The younger, other man is replacing you, day by day.

At some point, and soon, he will be more than a friend, he will be her lover.

Your wife is riding the wave of grateful emotions, he is feeling that surging larger, undertow, it soon washing over her and within her.

He will be soon be massaging other parts of her that ache, and not from any pain.



_The Typist-_


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

You dont have to be 'an oppressing husband from centuries ago' to see what is going on here. Open your eyes! You are being SOOO naive! They have already developed feelings for each other, cant you see that? You are allowing your wife to date another man while lying to you. Where are her boundaries? Its seems she has none.
There is no way that I would go along with my husband dating another woman in this way.
As for the 'he has come from a broken family' thing, poor darling, so have countless millions of others. Its all excuses and if you dont act this will become an physical affair if it hasnt already. If you get the chance look at her phone, I think you will be shocked as to what you find.

Try saying, 'as he is just a friend can I come with you when you next go out together? I would like to met him'. See what she says.

Surely its not permitted for a professional like him to date a patient? You could report him.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

LoL. Report this idiot to his supervisor and have a letter from a lawyer ready for them if they don't reprimand or can this guy immediately.

Have papers ready for your wife as well so she can make it official and date other men since she will be divorced.

Your wife is dating her physical therapist.

Besides being a horrible cliche, you are letting your wife date another man.

Divorce her so she can do it honestly.


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

He comes from a "broken family"... Likely his talking point when trying to bed some of his clients. 

If this guy does this regularly, and I suspect he does, then he likely knows what can get him fired. He probably grooms them during the sessions, and then puts them on their back when the sessions are done. This should still be illegal if not already.

She's fallen for him, he's using her as another conquest.


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## hubbyintrubby (Jul 5, 2019)

Leebarth said:


> I appreciated her honesty and I apologized to her for being suspicious. *Knowing my wife, I didn’t doubt that she was telling me the truth.* We had a wonderful heart to heart discussion and told her that the cover up would hurt me more than anything else. I told her that she can be upfront about everything with me.


Being on this site long enough, patterns emerge in these situations. This is the #1 problem you have to change the narrative on in your head. She is another person and in my experience, you can never 100% "know" another person. You just can't. I'm sorry this is happening to you. 

Also...she's the one stepping out of line. Why in the %$&@ would YOU apologize to HER for being suspicious?!?

My "nice guy" alarm is going off like crazy here.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Married people don't get to date unless they have a clearly defined open marriage arrangement.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

She needs to understand that you are doing what you are supposed to do - protecting your marriage and family. Especially, since she cannot see (or more likely, chooses not to see) what is going on. Do not let her sway you with the types of accusation she is making about you being overbearing. You need to take control of this situation and step up to the plate. She may or may not appreciate the firm approach but it will stand you in good stead going forward.

She needs to understand that there are many good physios out there (in fact some of the better ones are more experienced and not just out of college). He did his job and is milking it now. Also there are many people out there from broken homes - she cannot fix them all.

I suspect she was looking for attention and got it from the POS in spades during the physio sessions. Now suddenly he is a friend??? To go to lunch with ???? Who pays for the lunches ? If she does, then she needs to understand that she is becoming a sugar mama.

As for your wife "telling you the truth" - what she has told you is she has a good cover for what she is doing, that's all. So what isn't she telling you. She isn't telling you about the titillation (now there's a word) she gets from going out with a younger guy who has had his hands on her body and who is flirting with her. She feels attractive and excited. All ingredients for something bad down the line. As for you - she sees you as the red pill - the reality of life (farts and all). Him - he is the young lothario with strong hands and sob story for her to attach to.

She needs to see the reality of this all. Also if he continues doing this I would report him to his employers. It must be against their ethics to date or go out with customers.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Blondilocks said:


> Married people don't get to date unless they have a clearly defined open marriage arrangement.


I agree...


She is dating the younger man. 

Does she feel she lost out when she was younger and now she is making up for it by dating a virile man in his twenties?

This is an opportunity thing. He fell into her lap (later, her trap).
She is ready to get out there, again.

I understand how she feels, but she is blowing up her family over this attention. 
She must know that the guy will use her for sex. 
And it will lead to a divorce with her husband.

Chances are, he will not marry an older woman with two children.

She may not care...

It could be an exit affair, of sorts.
With her, living for today, and the hell with tomorrow.
She is at that age.

Not, a rare thing.


_King Brian-_


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Sorry your wife is dating this young stud. Be sure she knows you want to go to their next “luncheon”.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

You already know how you feel about your wife's actions. 

As for his, yeah, completely unprofessional to be talking about his personal issues during a session, lunch with her afterwards, and communications in between.


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## PreRaph (Jun 13, 2017)

Leebarth said:


> So my question to you is, am I being over reactive, overbearing, unfair? How would you handle such a situation?


Not.at.all. Your gut is telling you right on this one. He has touched her. They are intimate with each other. And she is lying to you and trying to dissimulate. Her accusations are an attempt to cover up what is actually going on.

This is already on its way to becoming an affair if it hasn't already. 

Quit apologizing to her. She is the one who has a lot of apologizing to do. 

What you need to do now is to decide how you are going to deal with this. Are you going to confront her right now or would you prefer to do some investigating and find out the real truth? If you confront her now she will most likely deny it all. She is probably in "the fog" right now. She will do most everything she can to protect herself and the OM. 

You need to understand and accept that you _*were *_happily married but that your happy marriage has ended. She has stepped outside of it. If you pine for the past the heartbreak will be even worse.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

The more I think about this, it's just crazy. In a previous life, I was a remedial massage therapist. Had regular clients over several years, as well as those who booked a few times (sometimes referred by physio) and who expressed gratitude - but simply by saying thanks, and then recommending me to others. The only time I met with a client outside of that setting was to support an event she was having - and had been a regular for years. Another (female) client brought in her Nina Simone record for me to borrow as she had been talking about her music. Really though, I had a good rapport with my clients but the relationships still remained professional; we weren't friends.

Your wife needs to cut this out if she wants to stay married. He needs to cut this out if he wants a good name in the industry, and put the needs of the clients first - including keeping boundaries in tact.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

I suspect he is newly out of school. 
If he is not careful, he will be newly out of of a license and a job.

He could be naive' and not any party to shenanigans. I have my strong doubts.

I would hope that every medical provider would be given some sort of ethics class, prior to graduating.
It would help prevent some of this.

Some, is better than none.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Argh... why do husbands let their wives date other men with their permission? WHY?!

If you insist on being a doormat, at least be this one:


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Well, I know the training I undertook, boundaries and ensuring the client was treated professionally was all part of it; including the acknowledgement that providing body work is a vulnerable setting. Part of the training was also dealing with inappropriate behavior from clients, too. And even when I was straight out of college, I knew about boundaries and professionalism. I'd be very surprised if he didn't.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

As many know, physiotherapy, whether physical therapy from third party as a prescription from an MD, or follow up by the nurses (male and female) in a chiropractic office is a field that often leads itself to dalliances. 

As a patient in early years I had more than a couple female nurses give personal attention during therapy. From very reputable offices.

Your W is likely not discouraging the personal attention she's getting sadly.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

SunCMars said:


> The '_not going to end well_' notion is looming and beginning to swell before your eyes.
> 
> Part of his job is/was touching her and massaging her.
> She liked that very much.
> ...


Modern therapist s rarely touch a patient these days.

However, luncheon with another man? That's dubious.


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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

Leebarth said:


> So my question to you is, am I being over reactive, overbearing, unfair? How would you handle such a situation?


This is how people get cheated on. They don’t want to appear too needy or overbearing so they’re gaslighted with the “don’t you trust me?” stuff. Taboo sex is off the charts hot. Better nip it before it’s too late.

Exert your manhood and tell her straight out- “I told you I don’t like this! Don’t do it again or we’re going to have problems!!” Preferably with this face  and a good harsh ****ing coming her way.


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## Harold Demure (Oct 21, 2020)

I am sorry but I really worry for you here and I think you need to go in hard to nip this in the bud. Firstly, I would contact the OM, tell him his behaviour is unprofessional and that you are going to report him for gross misconduct to whichever licensing authority he is registered with. He is young and needs to learn a hard lesson here. Whether you report him would, to me, depend on his reaction. Secondly, I would tell your wife her behaviour is totally unacceptable, is disrespectful to you and your marriage and, if she continues with this, she will force you to consider whether you wish to stay in this marriage. She is not some 16 year old schoolgirl but a married woman with family responsibilities. I know this view will probably be subject to criticism but this is not about controlling who she can have as friends but about acting in a proper manner. Had she not displayed signs of a “school girl crush”, you would probably be happy for her to be friends. Control is about saying ”you can not ....” What you are doing here is saying make your choice. Given the rapid development of this relationship, I would also insist on no contact and transparency with her electronic media. Again, this is not control, it is offering her a choice. If she does not choose her marriage, well it is better to find out now. Finally, I would say this not about male dominance as I would offer the same advice to your wife if it was you meeting up.


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## Nailhead (Sep 21, 2020)

Time to report this "doctor" to his superiors. Going out to lunch is a date. Keeping it from you so you don't get upset. How quaint.....sigh.... Tell you WW to sign up for IC to figure out why lying to you appeared to be the appropriate response to dating OM.


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## Tdbo (Sep 8, 2019)

I agree with the general consensus here.
She is definitely engaged in an EA here and either a PA is going on, or else the groundwork is underway for one.
Here's what I'd do: Put her on defense.
1. Study up on and implement the 180. She needs to feel discomfort. She needs to feel the earth shift.
2. You need to do your homework. Get a hold of her phone and run recovery software on it. Put VAR's everywhere she talks on the phone and in her car. Put a GPS on her car. Consider software for her phone that forwards it to you. Maybe if she has an IPhone, link it to an IPad that you control. You need to gain information. Information is power.
3. You need to consult with an attorney, both from the perspective of potential infidelity (and get your ducks lined up for the worst) and how to deal with the breach of unprofessionalism from this alleged medical professional.
4. Blow his world up: his employer, his credentialing agency, his wife, kids, family dog, butcher, etc. Utilize the evidence garnered from your homework to your advantage.
5. Have a sit down with the Mrs. Tell her you have been to an attorney and are preparing for a divorce. Inform her if she wants to stay married to you, it is incumbent upon her to convince you to do so. See how hard she is willing to work. If so, proper boundaries, meeting any and all reasonable requirements you set, counseling for her deficiencies, a post nup should all be on the table. You need to take charge. You need to make her reestablish and earn back trust. She needs to truly be scared ****less.
6. She needs to understand that is not business as usual, and you will not be played. No matter what, you need to do what is right for you. I'm not going to tell you to stay or leave, that's up to you. I'm going to tell you that you need to take and exercise agency in your relationship and your role in it.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

MattMatt said:


> Modern therapist s rarely touch a patient these days.
> 
> However, luncheon with another man? That's dubious.


My personal experience is that they will do what is needed for each patient.

I agree, most will not touch a patient unless that is what is needed for therapy.

When young and being a long distance runner, I had back, calf and shoulder and *heel* issues.

I have had them stretch my legs and manipulate my neck and back and posture.
And rub my aching feet, ouch!

................................................................................................................

Some of the treatments that physiotherapists use are as follows:


Massage to ease soft tissue pain
Mobilization or manipulation of joints
Exercises to strengthen weak areas
Cold to reduce inflammation
Heat to increase circulation
Ultrasound therapy to ease muscle spasms
Electrical stimulation to help muscles contract that cannot do so effectively on their own


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## Kaliber (Apr 10, 2020)

Hello @Leebarth, I'm sorry you are here, buckle up! You are in for the ride of your life!

Let me open your eyes about something very important:
Cheaters, or people who are planing to start an affair use a well known blackmailing phrases: *You're being overbearing or you're jealous, or you're being controlling *

It's a well known tactic, a blackmailing tactic, a scare tactic, and usually the victim caves in, in fear of being labeled as such!
I had something similar happen to me sometime ago!

I had the same problem and I solved it in *1 day*, my fiancé back then, she started contacting with her ex, wanted to go on a catch up lunch, I said: _You will stop contacting your ex now, no more contact._
She accused me of being* jealous and *_*controlling*_!
I said _*I don't care what you think*_*, you stop now.*
Then she threw a big fit!
Screaming, crying, said, convince me why, I said *I don't need to convince you why. NO means NO, end of discussion!* If you don't like it? give me back my ring and pack your stuff (I wasn't bluffing, I meant what I said because* I know the result if I allow it to happen*)!
For one week she didn't talk to me or look at me, *I didn't care, I didn't budge, I didn't comfort her, *and went about doing my things happily like nothing happened!
At the end: *IT WORKED! 
Her blackmailing me with words such as being jealous and controlling DIDN'T WORK!*

In situations that leads to infidelity:

Asking her, *doesn't work*!
Pleading with her, *doesn't work*!
Doing the pathetic "Pick Me" dance, *doesn't work*!
Nicing her to agree with you, *doesn't work*!
Saying your uncomfortable, *doesn't work*!
Trying to convince her why it's bad for the family, *doesn't work*!
*Telling her to STOP or it's OVER does WORK!
Enforcing your boundaries with no ifs or buts, does WORK!*

If she doesn't stop, and ignores you, and goes out with him, or message him, then you got your answer, and you know your value to her!
In these situations, situations where it might lead to infidelity, you need to put your feet down and put it hard, to save your family, so she knows you mean business!
You have to be willing to lose your marriage in order to save it!
Don't bluff, have strength, if she will not stop and continue to disrespect you then start detaching immediately, and start the separation/divorce process, yes it's hard, yes there are kids and finance involved, but being the one running after her like a headless chicken, trying to save the marriage while she is running doing what she wants and serving you a sh*t sandwich is not good for you and your health, you need to take actions or you will end up in the same place separating/divorcing but with more hurt and lots of health problems!

Go read some sad stories in Coping with Infidelity section, you will realize that not taken an action is the most weakest thing a spouse can do, usually doormatting them selves, and stripping themselves from all self respect and dignity under the excuse of:

I love him/her to death
I don’t want to hurt him/her feelings
It's complicated. We have kids, house and finance
Having strength, self respect, and a resolve to not live disrespected and cheated on, that's what *works*!
And the last thing you wanna do now is try to convince her to go to marriage counseling with you, she needs individual counseling first to know and figure out why she was willing to start an affair and risk every thing for it, then later MC can be done!


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Kaliber said:


> Hello @Leebarth, I'm sorry you are here, buckle up! You are in for the ride of your life!
> 
> Let me open your eyes about something very important:
> Cheaters, or people who are planing to start an affair use a well known blackmailing phrases: *You're being overbearing or you're jealous, or you're being controlling *
> ...


Absolutely. I would do the same. If you want to carry on dating this person you are free to, but we will be over.


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

Leebarth, 

She has already cheated and lied to you when she went to lunch with another man and kept it a secret from you. That is the first step on a very slippery slope.

Rather than being "overbearing" you can simply say to her, "I don't want to be overbearing with you, so you can see him if you want to. However, let me make it clear that if you see him again I will be planning my own life accordingly as well. Here are the divorce papers. Do you want to sign them now so you can see him whenever you want or do you want to be married to me? It is your choice."

Adelais


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## Harold Demure (Oct 21, 2020)

How often do OPs get their partners to read threads? Posters on this thread express similar views which move it from your subjective view to a more multi-purpose objective view. I think it be useful as part of her formulation of thought processes.


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## hinterdir (Apr 17, 2018)

Leebarth said:


> My wife and I are happily married for 10 years now. We have 2 wonderful children together.
> 
> Since the last 2 months, she had to visit a physiotherapist due to her neck and lower back issues. The Last session ended about 2 weeks ago (after about 15 sessions). She was so impressed with the work the physiotherapist did and she decided to do a beautiful art work for the therapist. He happened to be a 24 years single male, my wife is 36. When she showed me the art work, I appreciated it, I didn’t mind it at all.
> 
> ...


Report him.
I do not think this is ethical.
Doctors hanging out for opposite sex friend dates with patients.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

You have three things to do:


Getting to the bottom of what is up with your wife - understanding why she is OK with doing this. Has she always been cheater material or is this a fairly new thing. In any case, SHE is your biggest problem not the POSOM. She is OK with this, is covering for it, DARVOing it, gaslighting - the works! Something really is wrong with her and you need to know this so that if you decide to leave this marriage, you know that it wasn't your fault but hers.


Covering your bases, protecting yourself and getting yourself out of infidelity. Consult an attorney and get a good idea of how a divorce would proceed and what is the best way to protect yourself financially and otherwise. Snoop, get evidence if you can. Put a stop to her shenanigans in no uncertain way. No "I would prefer it if you didn't" and more "this will stop now or we are done" and be prepared to follow up on this.


Making sure this POS learns a lesson and doesn't pull this crap on other female clients. Threaten him by all means and depending on his reaction (if you believe he has learned his lesson and gets it or not), either crush him with his employers and industry or leave him wondering when the axe is going to drop.
Do not dilly dally with this. This needs to have happened yesterday. And do not second guess yourself here.

Of the three action points above, no 1 is the hardest to get to the bottom of. Its what most betrayed spouses struggle with.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

You have received good advice.
Something to add: if your wife has CREATED a piece of art to give to a man, imagine how much she must be thinking about him during painting or otherwise creating this.
The chances they aren’t having sex is extremely low. It has been my experience that once a woman has mother man on her mind in that way, the relationship with her previous lover is toast. Her feelings for you will not come back if she has lost them. 
I want you to know I’m sorry, and that this happens all the time, and it’s not your fault. Cheating is all on her.
I must ask: Has your wife ever made YOU a piece of art? If so, do you remember how her feelings for you were on fire? That’s how they are for him. No? Well......

I would go absolutely nuclear with this. You can’t possibly over react in this situation, and yes, I’d undoubtedly see a lawyer.


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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

The more I think about this, the more I’m with the report him people. Except instead of reporting him outright, call him up and _threaten_ to report him. Sure your wife will be pissed off but I bet the doctor will drop her after that. Fight fire with fire.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

I think I’d 100% report him also. To every place I could. Wife is the problem, but a man that dates another man’s wife should expect whatever ill befalls him. It’s bull ****.


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## re16 (Oct 9, 2012)

Next time she tells you that she is going to lunch with him, tell to her make it a long lunch so that you have time to pack all her stuff.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Evinrude58 said:


> I think I’d 100% report him also. To every place I could. Wife is the problem, but a man that dates another man’s wife should expect whatever ill befalls him. It’s bull ****.


He is so much worse because he is taking advantage of a patient who is far more vulnerable.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Tell her you want to meet him. You'll find out pretty quick what the vibe is. She's enough older than him that he's not going to take her seriously if there is any flirtation there. But just tell her you want to meet him if he's one of her friends.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

You know what this is. You came on here to get the courage to accept it. 

Now you need to have the courage to act. You need to nip this in the bud now.

How about you say you are coming along and see what she says.

Then when you get there slowly bring up how unprofessional he is. How you are thinking about reporting him. Basically humiliating him. I suspect your wife will be pissed but secretly she will admire you for it.


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

Leebarth said:


> She reacted like I was being overbearing and make her choose what kind of friends she can and cannot have, like I am an oppressing husband from centuries ago.


Yeah, this is what they always say. 

You don't get to tell her what she can and cannot do, but you DO get to tell her what you can and cannot live with. You don't say "you are not allowed....", you say "I can't be in a relationship where....", a subtle but important difference. 

Essentially, you need to think and be ready with your answer to her saying *"Or what?"*

In the olden days that you mention, the answer would be, _"or I'll throw you out, you'll be disgraced, shunned by everyone in our community, and penniless"_. That doesn't cut it these days. You need to get it clear in your mind what your bottom line is, otherwise you will fold when she pushes back.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

I wonder if on these dates she is wearing her wedding ring or not? Be interresting if you were to walk up on the lunch date and catch her not wearing it.....unless the lunch is room service at the no tell hotel.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

ConanHub said:


> He is so much worse because he is taking advantage of a patient who is far more vulnerable.


How is she vulnerable? They are both equally responsible.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> How is she vulnerable? They are both equally responsible.


Well presumably as her therapist she has been telling him her most personal thoughts, wishes and insecurities. That would be something that could be used to attract her, particularly one who has been trained in human emotional health.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

sokillme said:


> Well presumably as her therapist she has been telling him her most personal thoughts, wishes and insecurities. That would be something that could be used to attract her, particularly one who has been trained in human emotional health.


Um no. This was a _physical therapist_ for a neck and back issue. And, she is no longer a patient.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Livvie said:


> Um no. This was a _physical therapist_ for a neck and back issue. And, she is no longer a patient.


Therapists will almost always have done a mental well-being component as part of their training.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Diana7 said:


> How is she vulnerable? They are both equally responsible.


Medical professionals can easily take advantage of a patient's vulnerability to endear themselves emotionally and this scoundrel did just that.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

BUT at the same time, I don't think her being "vulnerable" with a physical injury caused this -- it doesn't absolve the wife about the cheating. They both suck doing this....


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

Leebarth said:


> ....as they were discussing his family situation during her physiotherapy and she became compassionate towards him (he comes from a broken family). She also confirmed that she met him once for lunch after the therapy ended and she didn’t tell me about it until now. She said, she kept it from me for my own sake, because I would overreact and hurt myself by obsessing over something that doesn’t exist.


Is your wife a professional? Trained to give family advice? It may or may not be helpful, but she is robbing him of expert intervention and treading where an amateur should fear to tread. 'Friends' has nothing to do with it. Always beware of someone keeping secrets for 'SO own sake'---nonsense!

I agree their relationship is unprofessional and dangerous. Her responses are indicative of how personal this relationship has become and I doubt she has realized how invested she is until now......


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

sokillme said:


> You know what this is. You came on here to get the courage to accept it.
> 
> Now you need to have the courage to act. You need to nip this in the bud now.
> 
> ...


Not a bad idea, however there’s no way in hell his wife will let him come along. How does one cheat with their spouse there?


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

I’ll bet the artwork isn’t the only visually stimulating item she has given this guy.
24? Just out of school and having lunch with married ladies that he’s met professionally....... geez. Pretty lousy at to start/end a career.
If I were OP, I’d see an attorney and get a heads up on not only his options in a divorce, but his options in reporting this guy for unprofessional behavior.

The “therapist” definitely needs a wake up call on how to handle his business.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Evinrude58 said:


> Not a bad idea, however there’s no way in hell his wife will let him come along. How does one cheat with their spouse there?


Well I thought this post was OP. Yeah you are probably right, he is too nice to force his way or just show up. But even if she says no that is the smoking gun then right?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

*Moderator note:- No more threadjacks. *


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