# How would you answer this question?



## Daisy12 (Jul 10, 2016)

I asked my husband this question and was very surprised by his answer. I'm wondering if other guys feel the same way he does or is he in the minority of male thinking.

If your SO asked you this what would be your answer,

"After we have sex do you feel,
- physically relieved
- closer to me
- happy about our family/relationship
- totally blank
- relaxed/stress free
- Blank (you fill in the blank)

Basically I wanted to know how he views sex so I could better understand his needs. I've read a lot of book on improving our marriage and improving myself to be a better wife and they all give their opinions on how men really think about sex, so I was curious as to what the adverage man, husband , father feels.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

All of those, except totally blank. Sex is definitely bonding, makes me feel closer and loving, I feel happier and relaxed, and physically relieved (in that I usually don't have the urge to have sex again right away--but will ensure her needs are met regardless).


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

I can't really know what I'm feeling because if I think about it the feeling kind of flits away... thinking and feeling are VERY much disconnected. I think most men are that way to a degree. That's why we are amazing when women remember the **** we say sometimes... we aren't connected emotionally that way so the things we say don't have the emotional content that they do when a woman says something.

I couldn't really pick from that list. It's really more of a warm happy and content. And the content is with the connection but also with the sex. So it's sexy but not in any way that is related to masturbation.

The list you have include harder boundaries and clearer delimitation and I don't have specific thoughts when I'm feeling and I don't have clear feelings when I'm thinking. 


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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

I simply feel there is no place I'd rather be than right there, right then, with all I am, where I am.

Every time.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Relaxed Happy. A rare thing for me.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

"After we have sex do you feel,
- physically relieved.....................................yes, absolutley!
- closer to me........................................... without a doubt
- happy about our family/relationship...............yes
- totally blank..............................................really??? no
- relaxed/stress free....................................yes.
- Blank (you fill in the blank)........................makes the whole day shine


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

My husband always speaks of the "bonding" - sometimes he jokes I took all of his Test... we always have a little "after glow".. but if it's a night.. he'll soon be conked out. :sleeping:


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## x598 (Nov 14, 2012)

you are asking for a finite answer. its not that simple.

physical relief? sure...but sometimes, and I can't explain why, the sex is "better" than others and the impact to the "release" aspect..can be different. I can not stand how many women attach "physical release" to sex as if men are just like wild animals programed to mate and do anyone who walks by. of course it feels good physically.....duh. I have heard plenty of women state it feels good physically too for them....yet it is men who are constantly chastised about "release".

closer to me? of course. that's simply another aspect of why sex is important to a man and a relationship.

Happy about fam/relationship? I really do not understand this. are you saying having sex could make one feel worse about their family or relationship?

totally blank? no the emotions of it can be all over the place, also being impacted on what happened leading up to sex and afterwards.

relaxed and stress free? well I may never be stress FREE...but yeah, I do feel better, more hopeful about many things in life afterward.

fill in the blank......there is no time I feel closer and more connected. and that doesn't mean my relationship simply revolves around sex.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Yes, YES, yes, kinda, yes.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Bonding

so closer and happy about the relationship is what is top for me


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## Luvher4life (Jan 15, 2016)

Daisy12 said:


> I asked my husband this question and was very surprised by his answer. I'm wondering if other guys feel the same way he does or is he in the minority of male thinking.
> 
> If your SO asked you this what would be your answer,
> 
> ...


"After we have sex do you feel,
- physically relieved..................................ABSOLUTELY!
- closer to me..........................................About as close as one can be. We are ONE.
- happy about our family/relationship..........ECSTATIC, because I know I am loved!
- totally blank...........................................Only for a few brief seconds after the O..>
- relaxed/stress free..................................TOTALLY relaxed once the heart rate goes down.:wink2:
- Blank (you fill in the blank)......................There's absolutely no other feeling like being completely intimate with the one person you truly love -- your soul mate. We are completely safe and secure, and warm and fuzzy on the inside to the core of our being.

There's really no way to describe it in words. It's just about as close to heaven on earth as a person gets.:smile2:


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

I usually just fall asleep so I don't feel anything.


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

Daisy12 said:


> I asked my husband this question and was very surprised by his answer. I'm wondering if other guys feel the same way he does or is he in the minority of male thinking.
> 
> If your SO asked you this what would be your answer,
> 
> ...


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

Daisy12 said:


> I asked my husband this question and was very surprised by his answer. I'm wondering if other guys feel the same way he does or is he in the minority of male thinking.
> 
> If your SO asked you this what would be your answer,
> 
> ...


Hmm, after all the don't do that's and restrictions put on everything I find myself wondering what it would be like to have a normal woman with a normal sexual appetite.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Refuse to answer, It's a trap!


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## C3156 (Jun 13, 2012)

Daisy12 said:


> If your SO asked you this what would be your answer,
> 
> "After we have sex do you feel,


emotionally very close to my wife. It is an incredible bonding experience for us both. I will admit that sometimes when we have not had sex in a while, it can be quite the physical release as well.


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## urf (Feb 18, 2017)

Isn't sex about YOUR needs. If he gets what he wants out of it then good for him, he'll keep coming back for more. Do you get what YOU want out of it? Will you go back for more?


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

If my So asked me these questions I wouldn't answer without a lawyer present.


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## Tillaan (Nov 24, 2016)

I didn't read everyone else's answers yet but I feel closer and stress free primarily while feeling some physical relief. Unless I was really wound up and chasing her around the house then I really feel physically relieved and closer to her as the top two feelings. Followed by that nice stress free feeling in 3rd place.

So basically while those answers are the same 3 the first one is vastly more overpowering than the other two feelings and tied to how or why sex was initiated. If it was spontaneous or had happened recently I would feel closer, a lot closer. If it had been a while or she worked me up a lot and I had that primitive animal style drive going it would be a huge physical relief followed about a minute or two later with a transition into feeling closer. 


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## Saibasu (Nov 3, 2016)

I'm a woman and i get the blank brain for a few minutes afterward especially if it was a really consuming and vigorous session. My brain kind of fuzzes around the edges for a few minutes before it hums back to life! Takes a few to come back down from the clouds and solidify again.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

I will ask my fiance, but something tells me he will say that he feels closer to me, and physically relieved at the same time. I feel that way towards him, after sex.


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

The answer should be all but totally blank. When you have sex it releases Oxytocin which emotionally bonds you so you feel close. That is why sex is so important to a marriage. Most people do not know the science of sex and love, just the physical effects.

Oxytocin will also make a man happy with is relationship and that is why Oxytocin is referred to the Cuddle hormone. It is what makes you want to cuddle after sex.

A man will naturally be physically relieved since our hormones urge us on to have sex and and orgasm.

Sex does relieve stress and is often used for that so I also feel stress relief.

My fill in the blank would be that it makes me feel like I want to do it again. 

Basically a man should/would feel all but the blank feeling.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

urf said:


> Isn't sex about YOUR needs. If he gets what he wants out of it then good for him, he'll keep coming back for more. Do you get what YOU want out of it? Will you go back for more?


When you have sex, are you only concerned about your own needs?


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Happy.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Daisy12 said:


> I asked my husband this question and was very surprised by his answer. I'm wondering if other guys feel the same way he does or is he in the minority of male thinking.
> 
> If your SO asked you this what would be your answer,
> 
> ...


*All of the above with the exception of "blank!"

Also, with regard to my RSXW's enabled, tatted, disrespectful, dopehead kids, I never ever considered them as part of the equation!

I felt good and peaceful just about everything else!*


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## urf (Feb 18, 2017)

EleGirl said:


> When you have sex, are you only concerned about your own needs?


Yes. The act of sex is a process. It has a starting point a middle and an end. During that process there comes a time when it becomes all about "me". So much of sex takes place inside one's own head wouldn't you agree? To achieve orgasm one is required to abandon the rational mind and exist in a place of temporary fantasy. A sort of insanity. The French call it La petite mort. Years ago we used to say that we are all responsible for our own orgasms. During the overall process there is a portion of the experience when one is called on to act as the expediter to our partners fantasy moment. This action is conscious and comes from the rational mind. In turn our partners act in the same way toward us. In that way each of us is and should be "only concerned with our own momentary experience of La petite mort (rather than needs).

"Needs" is a larger, broader subject.


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## MovingForward (Jan 19, 2017)

Daisy12 said:


> I asked my husband this question and was very surprised by his answer. I'm wondering if other guys feel the same way he does or is he in the minority of male thinking.
> 
> If your SO asked you this what would be your answer,
> 
> ...



- physically relieved - Yes

- closer to me - extremely

- happy about our family/relationship - Yes

- relaxed/stress free - Yes


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## Vega (Jan 8, 2013)

manwithnoname;17413618And importantly said:


> I feel like a man.
> [/B][/B]


As opposed to WHAT? Feeling like an _*armadillo*_ the rest of the time? (sorry, couldn't resist >)


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

At various points of my life, I'd have answered with "closeness", "reassured", and sometimes "disgusted with myself". Lately, I'd go with "totally blank".


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## moth-into-flame (Oct 28, 2016)

Dehydrated.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

Closer to her. I don't get sex a lot, so when we do I feel definately closer to her. 

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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Vega said:


> As opposed to WHAT? Feeling like an _*armadillo*_ the rest of the time? (sorry, couldn't resist >)


I'm seeing something here, Perhaps we should ask "How do you feel after your sexual advances have been rejected?" A plague ridden mutant rat might just come up in the answers.


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## Vega (Jan 8, 2013)

Mr. Nail said:


> I'm seeing something here, Perhaps we should ask "How do you feel after your sexual advances have been rejected?" A plague ridden mutant rat might just come up in the answers.


LOL!! Maybe the REAL question is, 

What does it feel like to be a "man" and why does sex cause you to feel that way?


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Daisy12 said:


> I asked my husband this question and was very surprised by his answer. I'm wondering if other guys feel the same way he does or is he in the minority of male thinking.
> 
> If your SO asked you this what would be your answer,
> 
> ...


For me it is a sense of *euphoric acceptance and belonging* that lasts about 24 hours or more.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

...


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

It makes me feel like I made a mistake 30 years ago. 



Mr. Nail said:


> I'm seeing something here, Perhaps we should ask "How do you feel after your sexual advances have been rejected?" A plague ridden mutant rat might just come up in the answers.


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## Haiku (Apr 9, 2014)

It's a toss up between:

What is her name, and, where's the remote? 

😬


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## Todd Haberdasher (Apr 23, 2017)

Glad that it is over. A little nauseous. Hoping that it is a while before it happens again. Sweaty.

If I failed to climax, however, my primary concern is coming up with a plausible explanation for that.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Daisy12 said:


> I asked my husband this question and was very surprised by his answer. I'm wondering if other guys feel the same way he does or is he in the minority of male thinking.
> 
> If your SO asked you this what would be your answer,
> 
> ...


Daisy I'm curious, what was his answer? You said you were surprised but then....didn't tell us what it was. Unless I'm missing it somewhere.....


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

".. closer to me.."

Sex releases Oxytocine the bonding hormone.

The impact can lasts for a couple days.

It is nature's way of turning two people into one nuclear family unit/marriage.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Daisy12 said:


> I asked my husband this question and was very surprised by his answer. I'm wondering if other guys feel the same way he does or is he in the minority of male thinking.
> 
> If your SO asked you this what would be your answer,
> 
> ...


"After we have sex do you feel,
- physically relieved -- sometimes
- closer to me -- *ALWAYS!!!*
- happy about our family/relationship -- Definitely
- totally blank -- Nope. never had that response
- relaxed/stress free -- Usually
- Blank (you fill in the blank) -- Like I can take on the world... or just lay here and snuggle for hours. Either way, I'm not a roll over and go to sleep kind of guy.


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## Daisy12 (Jul 10, 2016)

Faithful Wife said:


> Daisy I'm curious, what was his answer? You said you were surprised but then....didn't tell us what it was. Unless I'm missing it somewhere.....


His response was: Physically relieved, relaxed and stress free but also snuggly.

When it responded with: So when we have sex you don't view or that doesn't make you feel my love for you, it's just fill a physical need.

He responded to that: It's definitely more physical but its not emotionless. 

From many conversation with my hubby he definitely feels that sex is more of a physical activities that is used for getting and receiving pleasure, but he is a man of very few emotions or at least emotion he keeps hidden or doesn't use..:grin2:


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## Jayg14 (May 23, 2011)

I feel wanted, lusted after and relieved.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Daisy12 said:


> I asked my husband this question and was very surprised by his answer. I'm wondering if other guys feel the same way he does or is he in the minority of male thinking.
> 
> If your SO asked you this what would be your answer,
> 
> ...


Those 4


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## Wazza (Jul 23, 2012)

Daisy12 said:


> His response was: Physically relieved, relaxed and stress free but also snuggly.
> 
> When it responded with: So when we have sex you don't view or that doesn't make you feel my love for you, it's just fill a physical need.
> 
> ...


Don't assume his emotions are hidden or unused just because you don't understand them. Without wanting to be sexist, there appears to be a general difference between men and women when it comes to emotion. 

Just because we experience emotion differently to women, doesn't mean we don't experience them. 

Sex is fundamental to our emotional expression. You can't have one without the other.


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

Daisy12 said:


> His response was: Physically relieved, relaxed and stress free but also snuggly.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



@Daisy12 I wouldn't necessarily believe him. You say he isn't very emotional. That describes me and most / many guys I know. I went to a sex therapist (because I wanted to know if I was crazy about some feelings I was having) and she really opened my eyes. I had no access to or understanding of my feelings. The therapist showed me a list of 100 words or so and asked what I felt. It wasn't a simple list like yours. I assumed it would be physical and exciting emotions but to my shock I started to see emotional words jumping out at me. I started to tear up and I realized I didn't even know I had those emotional connections to being with my w.

Anyway I want to be sure you know it's entirely likely he has a low EQ and isn't aware or connected to his emotions.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

sad.

sick of jumping through hoops to make love with the one person who said vows with me. tired of not ever feeling desired. resentful because shes selfish in bed never reciprocates. 

haven"t made love for over 6 months. It just gets old always being the one who initiates only to get the same old same old and never .....................never mind.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

So after 2 months the thread is back from the dead. I had completely forgotten the Armadillo. 
my advice to Daisy (other than don't ask that kind of question) would be, If you want him to feel something more than "physically relieved" then don't make him wait so long between. The longer it's been the more sense of physical relief I need. If the physical release is frequent, then the emotions happen more. That's how it works for me. My wife is completely different, as has been mentioned.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

I used to feel an overwhelming euphoria and an unbreakable bond with my wife.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Mr. Nail said:


> I'm seeing something here, Perhaps we should ask "How do you feel after your sexual advances have been rejected?" A plague ridden mutant rat might just come up in the answers.


Why are you talking about me?


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## Finwe (Nov 5, 2015)

Daisy12 said:


> I asked my husband this question and was very surprised by his answer. I'm wondering if other guys feel the same way he does or is he in the minority of male thinking.
> 
> If your SO asked you this what would be your answer,
> 
> ...


Depends on the sex.


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