# Vine, Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter...???



## hurtingbadly (Sep 14, 2011)

Can anyone help me? I can't keep up with all the social sites my WH is on. I have passwords to these and he knows I check his Facebook often. MySpace played a part in ruining my marriage. It gave him the ability to connect with a former coworker he had his business trip drunken ONS with five years later, he told her he was coming into town with work. I also found a second message to another former coworker on there, again telling her he was coming into town. I can't get past these messages. They haunt me more than the image of the ONS. His MySpace is inactive. I check Facebook often now that this has all come out, he went thru and cleaned out his friends with me.

But, he continues to add social apps to his phone. I can't keep up with these sites now that I'm back working. Do I need to be concerned with Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and just recently Vine? The bad thing with Twitter is although I have his password I don't know who these people are, their usernames are different than their real names. Same I discovered with Instagram. 

Are there ways they can chat or send messages to each other thru these apps?

Thanks.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Yes he can send messages with LinkedIn. Idk about the others.

Can you put spyware on his phone to catch all of his interactions? Do you have a keylogger on his computer?


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

Yes, many apps have chat/messaging features, some are untraceable. The apps themselves can be deleted and reinstalled pretty easily. He could delete them on his way home from work and reinstall them the next day on his way in to work.

There is no way to lock down technology to keep a cheater from communicating with an affair partner. You can make it more difficult by, say, telling him that he can't have any apps on his phone. It won't stop him if he really wants to do it, but it will make it more likely that he will slip up and get caught.


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

By the way, he doesn't sound like he is trying to help you get over this if he is installing apps without telling you. If he really were sorry, if he really were afraid that you would leave him and he really wanted to keep you, he wouldn't be messing with the types of things that were going to make you question his motives. He sounds like a [email protected] who is playing games with you.


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## Suspecting (Jan 8, 2013)

With Twitter you can at least chat and send photos. Instagram is mostly for photos I believe but there is a possibility to leave comments on each photo. Many people link Instagram photos in Twitter chat. You could always try looking who the Twitter users are by clicking the usernames and it goes to their Twitter page. With good luck they have at least photo(s) of themselves on their page.


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## wranglerman (May 12, 2013)

I think perhaps you need to do something radical, put the phone in the washing machine and give him a cheap disposable with only call and text functions on it, basic no frills or whistles type thing, I have one, it's great, but then again I do not cheat and actually only have a mobile because I work alone and often in the middle of nowhere so communication is vital, he does not "NEED" a fancy phone.

BTW you have a choice, bail or accept, from your posts I can clearly see a cake eating serial cheater in your husband.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Direct messages can be sent via Twitter.


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## hurtingbadly (Sep 14, 2011)

So there's a chat option on Twitter? I know there's direct messages, didn't know about the chat option.

Has anyone heard of Snapchat? What is up with that one?

We both have iPhones and they are under same username. It seems like I could see what apps he is installing? Anyone know how I check that account?

I think he gets emails saying he or I installed certain apps to his phone, but I don't get those emails. 

He has the Find My iPhone enabled on his phone so I can see where the phone goes at least. 

He just upgraded to the new one.


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## MysticMouse (Dec 17, 2012)

I think he needs to get a dumb phone until you are comfortable with him having social network access.


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## Suspecting (Jan 8, 2013)

hurtingbadly said:


> So there's a chat option on Twitter? I know there's direct messages, didn't know about the chat option.


I don't know what it is called but in the feed on the right side there can be long conversations. If it's long enough it's hidden and it has pressable link "show conversation." It looks like text messaging really with date stamps. I think you can in theory chat with that.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Look into syncing or backing up his phone onto your computer. You can see a lot of history etc even though he thinks he erased it.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

hurtingbadly said:


> So there's a chat option on Twitter? I know there's direct messages, didn't know about the chat option.
> 
> Has anyone heard of Snapchat? What is up with that one?
> 
> ...


Don't know about a chat feature on Twitter.


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## GoBlue (Feb 21, 2013)

On twitter the direct messages are the only chat option. Does he have an Iphone? If you had his itunes password that would open up a world of options for you, including a GPS of his location.


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## rogerqbah (Jul 29, 2013)

Yes he can send messages with LinkedIn. Idk about the others.


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## illusen (Jul 29, 2013)

HUGE RED FLAG if your husband has Snapchat. You need to get a handle on this situation ASAP.

Snapchat is an application that allows users to send pictures/videos + messages to one another. The message and picture/video appear on the other phone for 10 seconds in the Snapchat app and then DISAPPEAR. They are not saved ANYWHERE on the phone and CANNOT be retrieved later or reviewed. There is NO REASON for him to have this application. Who is he sending pictures/videos to that he needs to hide like that?


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## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

Here are the many ways they could be communicating
facebook
facebook messenger
yahoo messenger
email
phone 
Skype
twitter (unlikely since the character limit is so low)
text messages
text free
aol instant messenger
icq
msn messenger
yahoo messenger
trillian
snail mail
video game chats

all of these are possible ways to communicate.
There are tons more.
But smart phone are usual method of choice. Start there.


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

badbane said:


> Here are the many ways they could be communicating
> facebook
> facebook messenger
> yahoo messenger
> ...


There are tons more as badbane says. I was driving myself nuts looking at all my wife's accounts. Heck, my wife was using a pet site and a site for jobs that allowed pics and messages. She did not use these for anything as far as connecting with guys but she had accounts and it would had just been a matter of time had she not come clean. All seem innocent but just about any social network, games, pets, hoobies, etc can be used to connect in wrong ways. Then if they are using code they could be communicating right in front of your face and you would be clueless. The ways that cheaters can cheat and communicate is almost endless and of course us BS'ers can become so freaken paranoid in the process. 

My thought on all of this is, why in the world is he even thinking of going to these sites. I would think part of R is that no social networking at all. My wife and I have my FB, her three (yes 3) FB accounts are done. She also had one secret email account last year (my excite.com) and two gmail accounts this year that she started after d-day. I put an end to all of those, got her PWs changed them and now I only have access. I check them from time to time just to see if anyone is trying to contact her. I told her "Friends" not to contact her ever again. 

You will go nuts until the WS comes clean and shows true remorse and stops playing games. He should stay away from this sh*t period and by not doing so tells me all I need to know, he is not serious. He does not need any of it. Not FB, not Twitter, none of them. His life will be fine without any of it. And get rid of his smart phone. I would not put up with it. I cancelled my wife's account and now she is sharing a phone with my special needs son. She does not complain and is lucky to have me stick with her .


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## Suspecting (Jan 8, 2013)

You guys forgot TAM and other marriage sites and then there is the hookup sites.


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## mtpromises (May 27, 2013)

Smart phones have so many apps that can be used for cheating purposes it's ridiculous. How much longer can you go on like this? You sound stressed to your limit. If your husband won't give up his phone so you can have peace of mind then you know who/what is more important to him. Good luck with everything.


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## hurtingbadly (Sep 14, 2011)

He does not have Snapchat, I just heard about it and was wondering if this was something I need to keep a lookout for. 

That I know of he has FB, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and recently he added Vine and Tumbler to his phone. Tumbler was with me cause we were wondering about our teenage daughter's blog. 

He has sat with me and gone thru his FB and Twitter accounts and deleted girls. Twitter is tricky cause of the weird usernames, but I guess you guys are saying it's hard to communicate on there. LinkedIn is more recent as he lost his job due to this mess and had to make connections. I had to go back to work and can't keep tabs on him like before. This has ruined us. 

I just know years ago MySpace helped make this marriage worse.

He recently traded in his iPhone from 4 to 5 and he updated the Find iPhone for me, so I do have him on GPS. He no longer has his old phone so I can't check it. He did this without telling me.

Can someone tell me how I can check to see if he's downloading apps and then deleting them? We are on the same iTunes account.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

hurtingbadly said:


> Can someone tell me how I can check to see if he's downloading apps and then deleting them? We are on the same iTunes account.



Good luck with this one. When sync'd to iTunes, the back up files will keep a plist of the installation information, but it won't tell you if it was deleted and reinstalled at a later date, and if the app is updated (which frequently happens) then the install date will be for the newer version. I found out that my wife was doing this daily to hide things from me. The account is in my name (I did it to maintain control of things as I am the tech in the house and for easier management and sharing of apps), but it never sent notifications to the account email that deletions and reinstallations were occurring, in fact it never notified of the original download either. When I found them, that is how I discovered the affair. 

The best that you could do is to change the password on the account and then when he tries to download/ reinstall after deletion it will only allow after correct password input, which only you have. This allows you to keep tabs on his actions. Of course, this can cause issues as it makes you look too controlling in his eyes and gives you the upper hand.


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## Suspecting (Jan 8, 2013)

One not mentioned is WhatsApp. You can send text messages, images, video, and audio messages with it for free. Anything sent or received with WhatsApp do not show on phone records.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

Suspecting said:


> One not mentioned is WhatsApp. You can send text messages, images, video, and audio messages with it for free. Anything sent or received with WhatsApp do not show on phone records.



But they do show on the data records if being transferred using the built in radios and not connected to wifi. Just make note of several little transfers throughout the day and then begin to track their usage (the same goes for other apps that use data). If using wifi it can be tracked through the wifi logs if set up correctly to capture this. It might not be exact and definite proof, but it definitely is a smoking gun as to possible issues (thik red flag for extreme data usage on the phone/ device).


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