# Help!



## EyenSky (Nov 23, 2009)

My wife and I have been married for 9 years, but together for 15years total. We have two kids. I apparently have a high sex drive and she appears she can do without it. I love her very much, but we argue alot about being intimate. I try to get her to open up and talk to me about what she wants or likes or how we can improve, but she is uncomfortable talking to me or anyone else about sex. It is putting a strain on our relationship. I do not know what to do anymore. She just does not want to communicate. Help!!


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Where are you in the rest of your relationship?

Do you communicate on other issues well?

Is sexual intimacy the only flash point?

Are you physically intimate in daily hugs, kisses...?

Do you make time for yourselves alone?

Are you emotionally available for each other?

Are there health, appearance or hygiene issues?


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## lastinline (Jul 21, 2009)

Wow, Amplexor, I hope those questions aren't too important, because I only passed the appearance and hygiene question. If it's any consulation, I scored pretty high on that line item. No? I guess that explains a lot about my marriage. 

Sorry for "jacking" your thread Evensky. I agree with you though, and I have unhappily lived through the very same situation for years. You have to discuss it with your wife. The danger is when you let this trend "take hold", then little sex becomes the new norm. Please just be careful in how you define the topic. Woman are as sensitive as we are when it comes to this subject, and if she perceives it as an "adequacy" issue then God save your soul Evensky. 

Sex is important. It is definitely one of the stronger glues that hold a marriage together. Especially from a man's perspective, it can be how we experience acceptance from our wife. Tell her your sincere concerns Evensky. If she loves you, and I'm sure she does, her awareness that a "problem exists" will make all of the difference in the world. As for me, all I've ever wanted from my wife was affection and affirmation. Dang, "Oh for two". I guess that explains why I'm filing. LIL


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

How often do you have sex?
How often do you want sex?

When you do have it - does she come? 

Was there a time in your marriage when it was more frequent?

Do you have the balls for some conflict - if you do there is a way to make this better. But if you are not willing to have conflict this is only going to slowly get worse. 




EyenSky said:


> My wife and I have been married for 9 years, but together for 15years total. We have two kids. I apparently have a high sex drive and she appears she can do without it. I love her very much, but we argue alot about being intimate. I try to get her to open up and talk to me about what she wants or likes or how we can improve, but she is uncomfortable talking to me or anyone else about sex. It is putting a strain on our relationship. I do not know what to do anymore. She just does not want to communicate. Help!!


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