# Dense Inlaws



## ocotillo (Oct 17, 2011)

This is mostly a rant, but I would welcome suggestions. My wife's two older sisters never married and don't seem to have a clue about what married life might or might not be like.

For example, one or the other (Usually both) calls the house between the hours of 7PM and 10PM every single night without fail. The record for individual calls in one day from one of these ladies is currently at 14. (I kid you not.)

Things I've tried:

Being polite, but direct. --No effect

Being impolite and even more direct. --Offended, but no effect

Blocking their numbers during certain hours with a targeted message about why we're not accepting the call. (e.g. Sorry, we can't take your call. We're both naked right now. Please give us some space. Thank you.) --These ladies seem to regard that as a challenge and simply call from different numbers.​

My wife's father died of a heart attack two years ago. My wife's mother is very, very old. Discontinuing personal phone service entirely and/or changing numbers and not telling anyone is unfortunately, out of the question.


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

I think the best option is to simply screen their numbers. If they call from another number, simply hang up when they call.

Also, maybe you could give their numbers out to some sweepstakes so that they get some telemarketing calls.

Good luck.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

Can't you get a special burner phone just for those older relatives whose calls you can't miss? Or in the alternative I know the phone company can set up two lines for you (costs extra). I would ask your phone company about a two-line phone setup.


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## nevergveup (Feb 18, 2013)

Well,if you have a cordless phone,have you tried turning off
the ringer after a certain time.

My wife's two sisters call daily,just not as late and it dosen't
bother me.Your two sister inlaws love your wife and probably
are lonely.

If they both treat you okay,try to understand as it's not 
really a big problem.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

PHTlump said:


> I think the best option is to simply screen their numbers. If they call from another number, simply hang up when they call.
> 
> Also, maybe you could give their numbers out to some sweepstakes so that they get some telemarketing calls.
> 
> Good luck.


We used to have a similar problem to the OP. But it wasn't her sisters calling , but friends , at all sorts of hours in the night.

So what we did was come to an agreement that we don't take any calls except from our respective mothers after 8.00 PM in the evening.
So I'm the phone " operator " during the night, I take all calls.

When someone calls and asks for my wife, I simply tell them that she's sleeping .
No one ever calls for me those hours though , except my mother in the case of dire emergency.


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## sparkyjim (Sep 22, 2012)

How does your wife feel about this?

I only ask because if she doesn't mind then you are the odd man out.

But if it bothers her then she needs to talk to her sisters and tell them both something like "Don't call us after 7:30 PM"

It will be a good exercise for her in setting boundaries with her sisters. Maybe it will work.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

ocotillo said:


> Blocking their numbers during certain hours with a targeted message about why we're not accepting the call. (e.g. Sorry, we can't take your call. We're both naked right now. Please give us some space. Thank you.) --These ladies seem to regard that as a challenge and simply call from different number


Seems obvious to me... with messages like that, they are calling for the entertainment value.

on the serious side, just do not answer your phone. The message should just say something simple and benign, like _"We are not available at this time. We will return you call when we are able. Please call us between the hours of 3pm and 7 pm."_ Short and very clear.


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## Gonna Make It (Dec 3, 2012)

Go for turning off the ringer, that is the easiest way to keep from being interrupted.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

He said they've tried telling these relatives not to call them during certain hours. They've tried blocking the phone numbers. This is all in the original post. He said that turning off the phone or not answering it is not an option because of the very old relative who needs a way to reach them. That's why I think a two-line phone is best for him. One line for the very old MIL and another line for everyone else.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

How does your wife feel about the calls?


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## Gonna Make It (Dec 3, 2012)

Coffee, does your cell phone have a silent option? When you use it do you still see it light up when it receives a call? That is what I am saying, put the phone on silent. You still know when there is a call, you just choose not to answer the call from the sisters. They know the Momma's phone number, and can answer if they want. Or not. Or here is an idea, use a message machine to screen calls and do not answer for the sisters. What I am saying is the sisters are rude. So let them call to their hearts content, just do not answer for them!


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## motherofone (Jan 10, 2013)

Get a google voice number. Tell the sisters you changed your phone service. Set all calls to forward to home except between the hours you don't want calls. Leave your home number for the elderly relatives. Screen all calls for a while and let the machine pick up. To dial out to the sisters you just use the google voice app and it will connect and display the gv phone number. 

Or have your wife tell them after 8pm it's family time and no calls please.


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

Coffee Amore said:


> He said that turning off the phone or not answering it is not an option because of the very old relative who needs a way to reach them. That's why I think a two-line phone is best for him. One line for the very old MIL and another line for everyone else.


I doubt that would work. There's little chance that the MIL would keep the wife's number secret from her other daughters. Besides, if the MIL were to suffer a heart attack, stroke, or other incident, the sisters would have legitimate need to call the wife. I think the only realistic solution is for the OP to screen the calls and simply hang up on the sisters.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I wish I had suggestions.We live where DH's parents can look out their window and see when he's home.They pounce on him immediately blowing up his cell asking favors.They also have an uncanny ability to call or knock on the door when we're having sex.

Needless to say,I can't wait til we settle on our new house.It's 30 minutes away from the in-laws.

You have my sympathy!


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