# Worst... hangover... ever... Not sure what I have found, but its BAD



## KillerHangover (Jul 26, 2020)

Ok... so I am not quite sure exactly why I am here. I mean, I know why I'm here, but I don't know the extent of it. 

I have been searching the internet for hours now trying to make sense of this all and I have landed here... 

This weekend, my cousin who I havent seen for years came to visit and stayed the night last night. 

He and I are pretty carefree, party loving guys on the occasions these days that we get a chance to let our hair down and given its been a long overdue catch up, its fair to say that we smashed the drinks pretty hard. We do hold our booze pretty well though, neither of us are violent or in any way bad drunks - so what I am saying is, there is no real concern about our behaviour, even if we drink copious amounts. 

3 months ago, my fiance and I moved in together. We had been in what I thought was an amazing, positive and balanced relationship for 2 years prior to her and I moving in together, but we did live about 80km apart. She attends university and I work full time. 

The relationship has been excellent
.. well until now thats what I thought. I feel like its been mutually supportive, and I have never had any questions or issues with trusting her. It has never even entered my mind to suspect anything. 

Anyway, last night, my cousin and I were suitably intoxicated, talking **** with eachother downstairs in the living room and my fiance was upstairs in bed asleep, as she had work (part time wait staff at a breakfast venue) this morning. 

We were talking about some of the events I used to organise (which my fiance has assisted with over the years naturally) and I decide 

"oh! I have to show you some pics of the events!" 

Knowing that there was pics from the events on my fiances laptop, I promptly walk over to the kitchen bench where her laptop is and open it up, switch it on and log in. I havent really used her laptop before, but I knew the password from some other time I have needed to log in while my fiance was present for some innocuous reason. Again, I thought nothing of opening up her laptop to use it this time. I am sure she wouldn't have had any problem with it either had it just by chance not involved the following. 

So i was looking for photos. The quickest way I know to find photos is to open a main folder (like downloads or c: or whatever) and search for *.jpg 

This should bring up all .jpg images in the search location, which was the C drive (main hard drive) in this case. 

So, images start appearing in the search results and suddenly I notice that some of the images are named "******1.jpg" (fiances name) and so on. There is about 30 or so of these images, sequentially numbered with my fiances name as the title, but they are unavailable to preview as they had been deleted and were sitting in the recycle bin. 

Now, keep in mind that my cousin and I were the best part of a bottle of vodka in each by this stage. 

I jump over to the recycle bin and I see the deleted image files sitting in there - and hit "restore" 

I was obviously curious as to what the images named with her name might be, but I never in a million years would have imagined what I have found. 

Up pops all these photos of her dressed in lingerie and other very skimpy outfits, posing in various positions (not nude, but they are definately highly sexually suggestive shots) inside and some even of her standing outside on a balcony. Immediately it is clear to me that the furniture she is posing with or next to in the indoor shots is furniture in her old apartment from before we moved in together. I also know that this furniture was purchased after we had already been together for a year and after she moved into that place.

The pics of her on the balcony are also taken at the same apartment. 

What happened next is a bit of a blur. I don't remember my cousin saying anything, I think he was just stunned. But next thing I remember, I am upstairs, screaming at my fiance to get the **** out of bed and get the **** out. 

I dont remember a whole lot of what happened at this point either. I was ****ing furious, ****ing mind blown and in absolute shock, as well as solidly approaching intoxication. It was not the ideal state to be in to deal with something like this.

There was a lot of yelling and a lot of crying on her behalf, which I dont remember much of. But the one thing I do remember might be absolutely critical to this. 

She says that she owed some bad people some money and she had to do the photos to clear the debt or something. Her mum is a complete **** up and in and out of jail etc .. and whilst my fiance isn't anything like her mum and has her **** well and truly togetger, I could see it as a possibility that she has borrowed money to get her mum out of **** and has now fallen short of paying someone back. Neither of us are total angels, we're pretty street smart and savvy people, so its not completely outside of the normal for either of us to deal with some unsavoury types every now and then. 

But what doesn't make sense is - I have seen a lot of porn in my time as a red blooded male. I have been around enough to know that the photos that I have found of her are no where near explicit enough to be of any real monetary value - certainly not enough to cover any kind of debt that she claims is the reason they were taken. 

Critically, she also mentioned the name of a website that I know is involved in adult photography and in fact has a pretty well known name associated with it. I'm not sure what that has to do with it all right now. 

I'm hungover as ****, I'm emotionally shattered, I'm completely lost and I feel like my world has just been turned upside down  

My fiance has gone to work, my cousin has left and I'm sitting here trying to put the peices together by myself. I figured I might as well pour my thoughts out here to some people who might relate rather than just keeping going over and over this in my head.

She has either had some random guy round and he and her have taken photos during a romp, or this explanation she has given me has some kind of truth to it. 

The guy taking photos thing doesn't gel, because you would think they would be more explicit and there would be nudes etc. But these appear set up and purposefully posed. 

The explanation she has given me doesn't add up either, for similar reasons. Any debt significant enough to warrant cohersing someone into doing adult oriented photos would surely mean that said photos were far far more explicit.


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## ah_sorandy (Jul 19, 2018)

IDK, no nudes, no foul???

You should have checked the dates stored within the metadata of the photos.

If they were taken after you started dating, then she owes you the truth and nothing but the truth.

If they were taken before you started dating, then she owes you a brief explanation only.

The pictures were not of her nude, sure she was skimply dressed and was provocatively posed. So what! Ask her if you can have them for yourself. Ask her to pose nude for you.

I think you were a little over the top with how you initially reacted, however, that is because I do not know the full reasons behind why the photos exist.

You could have let your fiance sleep and brought the photos up in the morning. If you feel you weren't given a valid reason for their existance, or are not happy with explanation, then you could have broken off the engagement and thrown her out at that time.

Lingerie models make good money by the way! My wife sold lingerie at home parties many years ago, and she had photos on hand to display what the pieces she sold looked like on real women.

JMHO.


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## Buffer (Dec 17, 2019)

Let clear heads prevail.
Drink a crap load of water, no more alcohol.
don’t delete the photos, don’t give her the computer back. You need to check the meta data regarding the dates, times etc.
Assume nothing, believe nothing, check everything she tells you. There is lot‘s more to this story.
One day at a time
Buffer


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## Tdbo (Sep 8, 2019)

I agree with all of the above.
You should have waited until sober minds prevailed.
You need to check the meta data as noted.
If it is before you, not really your circus.
If it is during your time, you may have a problem.
At this point, trust but verify. Understand though, if it smells bad, it usually is.
If you can't live with her rationale, break the engagement and move on.
The good news is that it is easier to break an engagement than divorce a wife.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Sober up, do some investigation. Probably cheating, if it is don't get married. End of story.


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## KillerHangover (Jul 26, 2020)

Ok, so I've just had a look through the website that she mentioned during the blow up last night and a few pages in, it comes up with a page of escort profiles. There, smack bang in the middle of the page is a profile with a picture of her. It's one of the pictures that I found last night. The ad for her says "on holiday, back soon!" though? Its even got her name, just spelt differently. My head is tingling with adrenaline and I don't know what the **** to do now. She is on the afternoon shift at work now and I won't get hold of her even if I try to call now. I want to message her and ask her what the ****, but everything I have been reading here says I should say nothing until I have more answers. This can't be what it looks like  

What do I do? I need to prep some questions for the moment she walks in the door. I am not going to be able to keep this quiet. No matter what we're going to end up talking about these pictures and there's no way I am going to be able to not raise this now.

What should I ask? I need ideas.


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## Blacksmith01 (Aug 12, 2013)

Killer I don't think you need to ask her anything until you ask yourself some questions first. Like how do you feel that your Gf was an escort? That she was doing this line of work more than likely while dating you. How do you feel about her going back to that side job after she gets settled in with you in the new place and figures out how to get the time away to make a few extra pounds? Once you know how you feel and what is and isn't acceptable to you. Then you will know what to ask her. After that it becomes a simple pass/fail. I mean she wasn't going to tell you about this so she has shown you already who she is inside and it is conflicting with what you thought she was.


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## Tdbo (Sep 8, 2019)

OP:
I don't think you need to formulate questions.
If it looks like a duck, waddles like a duck, and quacks like a duck, odds are its a duck.
You need to decide if it is a deal breaker.
In your discussion, gather any additional information and decide.
If so, act accordingly.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

She needed to pay for school (or help her mom). That’s a huge kick in the nuts I’m sure. She was to scared to tell you.... which is also lying of course.

Figure out what you want to do ...sit her down and have “that talk”.

For me it would be a deal breaker but I’m not you.

You could be setting yourself up for future problems if you take her back but your life choices indicate you would end up with another questionable girl. Pick your lessor evil.


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## Tobyboy (Jun 13, 2013)

Set up a “date” with her from the ad using a different name. If she shows up, well there’s your proof.


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## KillerHangover (Jul 26, 2020)

She will likely be home in a few hours ... its just past 3pm here and she usually finishes up on a Sunday at around 4:30 if its quiet. Still takes her 30mins to get home after work finishes though. I'm not sure what to do. Part of me just wants to bury my head in the sand, pack my stuff and be anywhere but here when she comes home. Part of me wants to hug her and hear that its not what it looks like. Part of me wants to loose my **** at her. 

To the person who posted above about how do I feel about my fiance being an escort? How the **** do you think I feel? 

I'm litterally trying to think up any possible way to otherwise explain this. This is the girl I have been in a relationship with for the last 2.5 years. The girl who has become part of my family, loved by my parents, and part of my whole life plan now. 

I want to hear what she has to say to explain this profile.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Don’t yell and scream at her for one. 
I know you want to ... I would as well.
Your best chance for truthful communication is if she thinks she can trust you.

On the other hand she might just feed you a bunch of lies she has been fabricating all day.


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## Graywolf2 (Nov 10, 2013)

KillerHangover said:


> She attends university and I work full time.


Did she attend university where she lived before?

How did she support herself where she lived previously?

If she says she had a legit job you may want to confirm that with the business.



KillerHangover said:


> It's one of the pictures that I found last night. The ad for her says "on holiday, back soon!" though? Its even got her name, just spelt differently.





KillerHangover said:


> my fiance was upstairs in bed asleep, as she had work (part time wait staff at a breakfast venue) this morning.


The simplest explanation is that she supported herself in the other city by being an escort. If she was attending university in the other city this gave her more time to study.

When she moved to a new location with you she posted that she was on vacation at her old job and got a legit job where you live.

The good news is that she must love you. She gave up her lucrative job and now she’s working her a$$ at a breakfast venue just to be with you.


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## KillerHangover (Jul 26, 2020)

Tobyboy said:


> Set up a “date” with her from the ad using a different name. If she shows up, well there’s your proof.


The profile says "On holiday, back soon!" though... which makes sense now that I think about it. If she has moved down with me to where I live (80km away from where she was living) then she would likely have to stop because she is living with me full time? 
The real kicker that has just fallen into place for me now is that she has been saying since she moved here that she was planning on going back to the city where she was living during the next uni holidays and planned on spending a lot of time "catching up with friends" etc. That would explain the reason for her "holiday" posted in the ad and how she might have been planning to be able to return to it


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Dude... your catching on and putting the puzzle together.
Hey look man .... it sucks... I get it.
When she gets home sit her down and apologize for the way things went down. Explain to her what you have figured out. Give her a chance to speak.

If she gives you the truth.... then you can decide what to do with her.

Otherwise just ditch her


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Yes I think she is planning to return to it .... to pay for school


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## KillerHangover (Jul 26, 2020)

Graywolf2 said:


> Did she attend university where she lived before?
> 
> Yes, she is doing a degree in Business Management.
> 
> ...


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

This is not gonna end well. Let us know how it goes when she comes home.


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## KillerHangover (Jul 26, 2020)

Signing off for now, she could be home any moment from now and I need some time to gather my thoughts and prepare for whatever happens. I'll come back to update you all with her response to this escort thing later tonight if I can


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## Wolfman1968 (Jun 9, 2011)

You've got to sort this out, obviously.

One thing should be obvious; your relationship with her has not been honest. Since you say she is your fiancé, I presume there must be wedding plans. I would strongly recommend cancelling all such arrangements for now. 

You can't get married to someone who you really don't know. You shouldn't enter into a relationship in which there has not been honesty.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

KillerHangover said:


> She will likely be home in a few hours ... its just past 3pm here and she usually finishes up on a Sunday at around 4:30 if its quiet. Still takes her 30mins to get home after work finishes though. I'm not sure what to do. Part of me just wants to bury my head in the sand, pack my stuff and be anywhere but here when she comes home. Part of me wants to hug her and hear that its not what it looks like. Part of me wants to loose my **** at her.
> 
> To the person who posted above about how do I feel about my fiance being an escort? How the **** do you think I feel?
> 
> ...



Of course the shock has your head all over the place, however you have to try and be calm, you catch more bees with honey than vinegar and if you are to really get to the bottom of this you will not do so with rage and anger (although you have a right to be angry).

There is really no other explanation but that she was an escort
1. Her mother may have been in very deep financial trouble and your GF could only think of this way to help her
2. She loves you and couldn't bring this to you as it was too much of a burden to bear financially and emotionally
3. She made a choice to solve the issue herself thinking it was for a short time, she would solve it then move on to her normal life with you

It says alot about your GF
1. She doesn't trust you to tell you what is happening in her life or to help her out
2. She has no issues sleeping with other people, all very transnational but this will raise major issues later (as in NOW)
3. I am not sure you could get passed the lying, deceit not alone the activity of having sex with other men, transnational or not.

What is her normal work, that she works on Sunday? How old are you both?

So listen listen listen, (use your smart phone and record) you will need time to digest, keep questions to a minimum for now.


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

I am only going to tell you one thing TSAR...this **** ain’t right. Not married....RUN! She is not marriage material.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I would also suggest exploring her relationship with her mother and how money fits into that. 

I've noticed that whenever someone claims to help a family member or children in general that somehow the "rules" are relaxed or should be. Just like an ex bf I had who felt justified in borrowing my car to help his ex gf and her 3 children. (none of which were his, he told me when we first met). sorry, but even moms of young children can get into car accidents.

Yes, there are times when someone has an unworthy AND needy parent and somehow the adult child still feels driven to help them. So you need to get a grip on how far she will go to do that. Can Medicaid pay for the mother's rehab? But also, would her mother make the most of that kind of opportunity?

If you're hoping to have children in your marriage, well, you may have to make some tough choices now.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

Alright I am going ground zero. She owed very bad people some favors. Well, we would be having a discussion about going to the local authorities. That is forced sex trafficking aka rape. There are so many lies to this, it is scary. Yes, she could have been scared to tell you she was an escort of her on volition.

You were drunk so, you need to get the sobered up version.


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

We could make a better judgement call about the monetary value of the pictures if we could see them.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

*



The explanation she has given me doesn't add up either, for similar reasons. Any debt significant enough to warrant cohersing someone into doing adult oriented photos would surely mean that said photos were far far more explicit.

Click to expand...

*You were given the gift of SIGHT. Someone wanted you to see who she really was before you wasted your time, emotions, and money on her.

Don't be foolish with the gift you've been given.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

You need to investigate further. Was she or Is she an escort?

Did she prostitute herself, have sex for for money in porn shoots?


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## Wolfman1968 (Jun 9, 2011)

MattMatt said:


> You need to investigate further. Was she or Is she an escort?
> 
> Did she prostitute herself, have sex for for money in porn shoots?


Actually, he need only pursue it if he wants to continue/salvage the relationship. (Other posters will say on what terms that should be.)

For me, that level of dishonesty would be enough to end the relationship. I wouldn't be able to trust her.
If trust is gone, you really can't have a meaningful relationship.


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## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

No man, your gut instinct is correct. 

Something fishy is going on. I bet she was screwing around. 

You have to get details while you are sober, and don't let her talk to her mom if you can, they will get their stories straight. 

Something is going on and it is probably as bad as you think. Just stay calm and figure it out. 

If it is what we think it is, dump her and move on, it is not worth the trouble to deal with infidelity at your age and not married.


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## KillerHangover (Jul 26, 2020)

OK, I haven't even looked at or read anyones posts since I logged out yesterday afternoon, so this post won't address any questions in them yet.

When she got home from work last night things started off pretty quietly. We both kind of avoided the subject for about half an hour and then I told her that we need to talk about what happened and what I found Saturday night and we should go for a walk, because I wanted to be in a calm, outdoor environment where I was already getting some kind of exercise to burn off some of the adrenaline and inevitable "RAH" that was going to build up when the conversation got heated. I also wanted to be somewhere where we weren't holed up in a room so that I could just get the **** out of there or get some space if I needed it.

So we go for a walk and I start asking more about the photos I found on Saturday night. I raise the issue of my doubt in her story for why the photos were taken and I even suggested that if she really was in such a situation that money was owed, surely she could have/should have asked me for the cash long before it got to the point where she was having someone take raunchy photos of her?

Initially, she claimed that what she told me was the truth and that she was too proud and independent to ask anyone for help, which in some way is true about her after the history of her neglectful junkie addict parents and her having to really be able to rely on herself through most of her upbringing and life. But I still hadn't raised the escort site and profile that I found.

So we're about 3km from home at this point and walking down the main road through the "cbd" area of the city I live, a nice public spot with people around to help ensure we keep the behaviour, tone and volume under control.

Things are pretty calm and I'm just letting it be that way intentionally, but then I ask point blank out of nowhere "Why is there a profile of you on an escort site?"

...and almost without missing a beat, she replies back with "these guys are trying to **** me over!" and then went on to form a story around that excuse claiming that its all part of soms blackmailing conspiracy that these "bad people" are holding against her.

I called ******** and asked why they would do that if they got the money and they took those pictures already?

I mean, either she still owed them money, they were ****ing her over even after she paid them the money or she was lying.

I know which answer is the clear and obvious one.

So at that point, things started getting heated and we turned back toward home, walking about 50m apart from eachother and not talking anymore.

I got home, grabbed my laptop, some clothes and my backup drives and told her I didnt believe her and that I was leaving for a few days. I told her that her story didn't make sense and when she was ready to tell me the full details that would explain what she is claiming, I will come back and talk.

Meanwhile, I have a few other avenues of enquiry that I am going to start looking at today... I just need to psych myself up to do it.

For anyone wondering, at this point I am stuck in this ****ing stupid zone of half believing her (because I'm wanting to believe her and it's hard to believe this whole thing is real myself) and just being ****ing angry and knowing she is a blatant liar.

But the fact is, this has damaged us already more than likely beyond repair even on her version of it - I never in a million years would have thought she would let someone else take pictures like that of her while she was in a relationship (especially one as good as this appeared to be going) and I would have hoped that our relationship was solid enough that she felt she could depend on me to be there for her and have her back if the chips were down. Thats why we were engaged after all, isn't it? To have eachothers back and rely on eachother as a team?

If the likely truth is indeed that she has been working as a hooker, we're 100% ****ing done.

But I need to find out the facts either way now. This is too big to let go. I need answers so I can work out what the **** just happened and how the **** I have missed something like this.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

I would guess that she posed for the photographs because she wanted to.


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

Get tested.


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## maree (Jun 13, 2011)

Her story is BS. She is working as an escort, or at least was, and it is telling she didnt delete the profile on the site. 

I would ask myself if I am okay with my future wife being a prostitute? I am guessing that is a no.

If you want to even entertain the distant possibility of her story being true you need to ask her for proof. Who are these bad people specifically? What email address or other info is linked to her escort profile (if you have access to her email try resetting the password)? Is she saying she has a pimp and if she does, who is he (and prove it please)? I dont see how else posting her on an escort site is some type of payment.

I think almost every woman no matter how independent and proud would ask their boyfriend or fiance for money before escorting. I dont even think that being an escort would ever enter my mind as a possibility as a married woman if I owed someone money. I feel 100% confident your fiance is lying to you and she is doing exactly what cheaters do when they are confronted with weak proof of their actions. This is why you don't confront without undeniable proof because you will likely never know the real truth. She had an entire day to formulate a story about what happened.


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## OutofRetirement (Nov 27, 2017)

KillerHangover said:


> But I need to find out the facts either way now. This is too big to let go. I need answers so I can work out what the *** just happened and how the *** I have missed something like this.


This isn't that complicated. I have never ever ever ever ever heard of someone who requested non-nude photos for debts. It is ridiculous.

Meanwhile, there have been numerous articles published about young women who use sugar daddies, girlfriend experiences, escorts, and porn to make money to pay off debts.

Any doubt you have about that is just you because you are too close to it. No one will believe the non-nude (even nude) photos to pay off debts. Only you would even entertain it.


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## Buffer (Dec 17, 2019)

You know her better than us, but I believe she is working as a escort for extra money to pay off a education debt, set herself up in life. Possibly to Fill a void emotionally to feel wanted or desired, even meaningless sex. You need the truth, not fiction or BS.
one day at a time,
buffer


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Dispute whatever the “facts” are I believe you now have enough information to understand that she is not being open and trustworthy. You gave her a fair chance to explain her situation. Done deal.... ditch her.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Everyone except you already understands she is an escort. That’s the truth. Reality is tough to accept sometimes


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

She would not be the first woman to put herself through university by ``escorting`. She may have figured that it is in another town, and you would never catch on. Then you did. Coming clean, that is another thing.


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## KillerHangover (Jul 26, 2020)

VladDracul said:


> We could make a better judgement call about the monetary value of the pictures if we could see them.


At this point, I am feeling a little protective over her. Which is ironic given the fact some of these photos are already publicly posted on the escort site. 

I'm not sure I am allowed to post them on this site either? I mean, like I said, she's not naked, but they are definately not PG


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

I am pretty sure that posting them would be a HUGE NO. No need to do that. Look, YOU need to figure out what you want to do here and you said you will take time to find out more truth about this.
PLEASE do that. Take your time and do what you need to do for YOU.


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## Thumos (Jul 21, 2020)

The story about “bad people” using her and making up escort profiles and forcing her to take pictures.

Really? It’s so lame it’s like something a child would come up with.

If she is being extorted, then it’s illegal.

What she is describing is essentially “sextortion” and it is a federal crime.

Offer to call the cops and have them investigate. If she is telling the truth the FBI will get involved.

cant wait to see her face when you tell her that


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

KillerHangover said:


> At this point, I am feeling a little protective over her. Which is ironic given the fact some of these photos are already publicly posted on the escort site.
> 
> I'm not sure I am allowed to post them on this site either? I mean, like I said, she's not naked, but they are definately not PG


He is just joking 😜


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

> I mean, like I said, she's not naked, but they are definately not PG


Are they like Victoria Secrets?


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Ask her if she is telling the truth would she be willing to take a polygraph? Then watch the body language.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

KillerHangover said:


> At this point, I am feeling a little protective over her. Which is ironic given the fact some of these photos are already publicly posted on the escort site.
> 
> I'm not sure I am allowed to post them on this site either? I mean, like I said, she's not naked, but they are definately not PG


You could send a couple of them to me via PM/Conversation. I'll take a look and decide what's ok.


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## Kamstel2 (Feb 24, 2020)

First thing you must do on Monday morning and call your doctor and get tested for every std!!!!!


Next time you are with her, I would tell her that you are driving down to the police station and talk to a detective about everything these bad people have been doing to her. Tell her not to worry, you will be sitting right by her side the entire time. If she says anything other than “thank you. Let’s go”, I think you now know the truth.


OR

Making sure she is looking straight at you, tell her that you have booked an appointment for her to take a polygraph test next Saturday morning. Once again, her immediate reaction should give you your answer.

I’m sorry, but I think you know what is going on. And it seems to me that she was going to return from being “on holiday”

you are not married, you don’t have any kids, I think you know what is your best course of action. Yes, it will hurt for a while, but this has to be a dealbreaker for any man!!!

Be stong
Good luck

and don’t forget CALL THE DR’s OFFICE first thing in the morning and make an appointment to get tested ASAP!!!!

sorry


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## Kamstel2 (Feb 24, 2020)

Do you have any friends who are cops? If so, ask them to run her name to see if she has an prior arrests for solicitation


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## faithfulman (Jun 4, 2018)

Who cares whey she was earning the money by being a hooker? "She was a hooker to pay for school"

Most people just get a job! If they earn less, it take a bit longer to get through school.

If somebody has to turn to hooking for money, it better be to pay for a life-saving operation or something like that.

Fiance = hooker = no longer my fiance.

I suggest you do the same.

By the way, a free program named "Exif Data Viewer" will tell you a lot about those photos if the metadata hasn't been stripped out.


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## Galabar01 (Mar 20, 2019)

First, I would say, don't be stupid. She is an escort.

Second, if you really want to verify things, have her call the place where she claims to be working as an admin while you listen in. However, do you really need to (see the "don't be stupid" suggestion above)?

Third, you can call the number of otherwise contact the escort website to see when you can make an "appointment" with her. Gather as much information about her as they will share. Maybe they expect her to be available at the same time she was planning on going back and "catching up with friends"...

Fourth, see the first suggestion.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Galabar01 said:


> First, I would say, don't be stupid.


Like using your email for your user name?
Asking for a friend....


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## Galabar01 (Mar 20, 2019)

Mr.Married said:


> Like using your email for your user name?
> Asking for a friend....


Yeah, that is an interesting one (signed up with Google). I asked the mods to change it. However, I can't be afraid to post something that I wouldn't say out in the open...


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

KillerHangover said:


> At this point, I am feeling a little protective over her. Which is ironic given the fact some of these photos are already publicly posted on the escort site.
> 
> I'm not sure I am allowed to post them on this site either? I mean, like I said, she's not naked, but they are definately not PG



Please please be careful of hysterical bonding with her till you find out what is happening and making the decisions for the future. Don't become a KISA.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

There is no need to share the pictures.

@VladDracul - See what you started? bad, bad Vlad


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## syhoybenden (Feb 21, 2013)

He was just channelling his inner perv.


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## KillerHangover (Jul 26, 2020)

EleGirl said:


> You could send a couple of them to me via PM/Conversation. I'll take a look and decide what's ok.


Hi,
I'm out at the moment and checking in here on my phone right now, but I will be back where I am staying in an hour or two and I'll pm you a few of the pictures.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

KH I want you think back if you have noticed little differences in the following areas....time she can not explain where she is, or does not pick up or response at times....ne sex acts she has introduced recently. Pictures are an aspect (and a strong you) but some other things must be adding up as well....also have you seen her phone, gone through it? Or does she have a burner phone?


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

KillerHangover said:


> *At this point, I am feeling a little protective over her. Which is ironic given the fact some of these photos are already publicly posted on the escort site.*


Why do you think we need to see her escort pictures? What the HELL does that have to do with the fact that your girlfriend is a HOOKER? Do you actually think we're all going to look at them and convince you her pictures are tasteful even though they're on an ESCORT site?

Man, talk about denial.

*



If the likely truth is indeed that she has been working as a hooker, we're 100% ****ing done.

Click to expand...

*Not to worry. I'm betting good money you'll eventually manage to delude yourself enough into actually believing whatever nonsense she tells you. Because it's either that or dump her - and you intend to hang onto her like grim death, no matter how much of your pride and dignity you have to swallow.

I'll just say good luck to you.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

@KillerHangover exactly what job dos your fiance have?


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## KillerHangover (Jul 26, 2020)

Lostinthought61 said:


> KH I want you think back if you have noticed little differences in the following areas....time she can not explain where she is, or does not pick up or response at times....ne sex acts she has introduced recently. Pictures are an aspect (and a strong you) but some other things must be adding up as well....also have you seen her phone, gone through it? Or does she have a burner phone?


So many things are falling into place ... like the time I stayed over at her place one night mid week and had a few beverages that night. I was feeling like death when we woke up the next morning when she said she had to go to work or uni (cant remember which it was) and I figured I would just stay in bed there for another few hours and let myself out of her apartment and drive home later. 

But without actually point blank telling me to get out and go the **** home, that is pretty much what she was telling me. I thought it was really weird that she wouldn't just tell me to stay there till I was feeling a little less hungover because we had been together for well over a year at that point and things between us were pretty solid (so I thought!).

Or the time we had a little party over at her place with her cousin and a few other friends as well as a few DJ's we were touring at an event I was running. 

Her cousin got a bit tipsy and decided she wanted to sleep with one of the DJ's and came into my fiances room where we were getting ready to go to bed and asked if she had any condoms. My fiance reached up into the top of her bedroom cupboard and pulled out a box of condoms and gave her one. I know. How ****ing dumb am I. That should have been a moment of "WTF" in itself, but nope, I am embarrassed to say that I was obviously in such a state of happy trusting bliss that even this completely went right past me without a second thought.

Or the fact that the room mate that apparently lived in the spare room that her cousin ****ed this DJ in that night was never home, ever. Her explanation was that the room mate had a boyfriend that she spent most night with and was barely around. It has dawned on me that there never was a room mate and that spare room was the room that she used with the guys she saw


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## KillerHangover (Jul 26, 2020)

MattMatt said:


> @KillerHangover exactly what job dos your fiance have?


Now? She is bar/wait/floor service staff at a very busy and popular venue here in the city I live.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

KillerHangover said:


> Now? She is bar/wait/floor service staff at a very busy and popular venue here in the city I live.


Hmm. Really? Have you confirmed this?


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## KillerHangover (Jul 26, 2020)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Why do you think we need to see her escort pictures? What the HELL does that have to do with the fact that your girlfriend is a HOOKER? Do you actually think we're all going to look at them and convince you her pictures are tasteful even though they're on an ESCORT site?


Someone raised it, an admin entertained it and quite frankly my head is so all over the shop at the moment, I aren't really thinking clearly. That said though, I don't really care if they are or arent posted. They are publicly available by her own doing already anyway and I'm really beyond giving a **** right now to be honest.

There's nothing that will make them "tasteful" to me and I don't know where you got the impression that I was seeking some kind of validation on it? 



She'sStillGotIt said:


> Man, talk about denial.
> 
> Not to worry. I'm betting good money you'll eventually manage to delude yourself enough into actually believing whatever nonsense she tells you. Because it's either that or dump her - and you intend to hang onto her like grim death, no matter how much of your pride and dignity you have to swallow.
> 
> I'll just say good luck to you.


Sounds like you got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning and have your cranky pants on. Smile, life could be worse - trust me.


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## KillerHangover (Jul 26, 2020)

MattMatt said:


> Hmm. Really? Have you confirmed this?


Yes, I know for a fact that she works there now and has been working there since she moved here with me.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

You saw her picture on an escort site. What else do you need?????


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

KillerHangover said:


> Yes, I know for a fact that she works there now and has been working there since she moved here with me.


Might be a cover for her escort job?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Livvie said:


> You saw her picture on an escort site. What else do you need?????


What's worse? Her working as an escort or her lying to her boyfriend?

I dated a woman who was working as an escort, but this was not kept a secret from me. Yes, yes, I know. I was young and foolish and in love.


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## Thumos (Jul 21, 2020)

KillerHangover said:


> fiance reached up into the top of her bedroom cupboard and pulled out a box of condoms and gave her one. I know. How ****ing dumb am I. That should have been a moment of "WTF" in itself, but nope, I am embarrassed to say that I was obviously in such a state of happy trusting bliss that even this completely went right past me without a second thought.


Well now you’ve thought of it so what’s your reaction now and what are you going to do about it? Does she still keep a box of condoms around? If the condoms aren’t for you then who are they for? Time to wake up


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

These days many millennials and younger women see no problem whatsoever with working as sex workers, i.e. exotic dancing, sex cams, porn acting and prostitution. They see nothing wrong with it, and they keep their sex work completely compartmentalized away from their private home life. It is becoming more and more acceptable and common in our society. Which is why I am amazed that prostitution is still illegal in the U.S.: our hypocritical country that supplies over 12% of the porn media in the world. $10 to $12 billion of a $100 billion dollar industry.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

If it hasn't been mentioned yet, Get a STD test pronto.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> What's worse? Her working as an escort or her lying to her boyfriend?
> 
> I dated a woman who was working as an escort, but this was not kept a secret from me. Yes, yes, I know. I was young and foolish and in love.


In Arizona, during the 1880s boom-town era, it was not uncommon for a man and wife to open a saloon together. The husband would run the bar while the wife serviced cowboys and miners upstairs. It happened a lot. Wyatt Earp was his common-law wife's pimp. Wyatt's oldest brother James ran a successful saloon and brothel in Tombstone and his wife was the madame who also entertained clients. It was a fairly common practice during the post-Civil War America, where social mores had lapsed in the face of massive reconstruction. Interesting how this behavior has come full circle in our society.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

bandit.45 said:


> In Arizona, during the 1880s boom-town era, it was not uncommon for a man and wife to open a saloon together. The husband would run the bar while the wife serviced cowboys and miners upstairs. It happened a lot. Wyatt Earp was his common-law wife's pimp. Wyatt's oldest brother James ran a successful saloon and brothel in Tombstone and his wife was the madame who also entertained clients. It was a fairly common practice during the post-Civil War America, where social mores had lapsed in the face of massive reconstruction. Interesting how this behavior has come full circle in our society.


So your suggestion is that he keep her and open a saloon?


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

KillerHangover said:


> Sounds like you got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning and have your cranky pants on. Smile, life could be worse - trust me.


I think her bed must have one side against a wall, and can only use one side. 

She's always "edgy"


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Mr.Married said:


> So your suggestion is that he keep her and open a saloon?


If he gets a cut, why not? 

Just kidding. No, what I am talking about is that whenever society breaks down, as it is right now with the civil unrest and Covid stuff going on, it's not uncommon to see people engaging in more and more morally questionable behaviors. These behaviors are a by-product of a society that has lost its cultural and moral footing. America is no longer a united society, just as it was not a united society in the decades after the Civil War.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

manwithnoname said:


> I think her bed must have one side against a wall, and can only use one side.
> 
> She's always "edgy"


Actually, you may not be too far off base. I wonder if she is doing sex-cam work there in her bedroom?


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

bandit.45 said:


> If he gets a cut, why not?
> 
> Just kidding. No, what I am talking about is that whenever society breaks down, as it is right now with the civil unrest and Covid stuff going on, it's not uncommon to see people engaging in more and more morally questionable behaviors. These behaviors are a by-product of a society that has lost its cultural and moral footing. America is no longer a united society, just as it was not a united society in the decades after the Civil War.


Yeah I totally got it. I was just being a smart butt.

You make a good point though. There was a article about here in Houston the other day that there has been a major increase in advertising for threesome partners since the Covid thing started


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

I live in Houston too and I also saw that article. 

Nice rain we just had huh?


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Google her name with the different spelling she used and see if she pops up as a cam girl. She might not actually be meeting up with men for sex. 
I still think you should ditch her based solely on the fact she chose to not come clean.


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

bandit.45 said:


> Actually, you may not be too far off base. I wonder if she is doing sex-cam work there in her bedroom?


No comment.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

I mean, you're not married yet. Be grateful you found this out now.

Call off the wedding, end the relationship, and move on with your life.

Not sure what else is to be gained by continuing with the drama.


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## Galabar01 (Mar 20, 2019)

KillerHangover said:


> Yes, I know for a fact that she works there now and has been working there since she moved here with me.


I think the more important question is the admin job she claimed to have in her home town.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

bandit.45 said:


> In Arizona, during the 1880s boom-town era, it was not uncommon for a man and wife to open a saloon together. The husband would run the bar while the wife serviced cowboys and miners upstairs. It happened a lot. Wyatt Earp was his common-law wife's pimp. Wyatt's oldest brother James ran a successful saloon and brothel in Tombstone and his wife was the madame who also entertained clients. It was a fairly common practice during the post-Civil War America, where social mores had lapsed in the face of massive reconstruction. Interesting how this behavior has come full circle in our society.


I've read the history, and my answer is just: BARF...


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## shortbus (Jul 25, 2017)

Cranky pants


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## Kamstel2 (Feb 24, 2020)

Ask to see her taxes for the last few years. See if she could afford her lifestyle and tuition based on the w-2s


You know what is going on. Yes, it will hurt like hell for a while, but what else do you need before you pull the plug? 

She was only away on vacation!!!
She was going to return from vacation soon! Didn’t you say that she was talking about returning to that town???


have you called for a dr.’s appointment yet to get checked for every disease known to man????? Even if she bought condoms in bulk, are you trying to believe not one of them ever broke???

just be happy you found out the truth now instead of after you married the ***** and had kids!!!!

don’t walk, FREAKIN RUN!!!!!!


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> Actually, you may not be too far off base. I wonder if she is doing sex-cam work there in her bedroom?


He wasn't talking about the OP's girlfriend.


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## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

You said the escort site said she was on vacation. Did it mention when she would return?

The pictures were most likely for the escort site. Like a picture of food on a menu.

Escort site?
Supply of condoms in her bedroom?
Talking about returning to the town? Money getting low and time to end the vacation?
RUN FAST AND FAR.


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## Galabar01 (Mar 20, 2019)

-- Calling the "admin" job to confirm she works/worked there.
-- Checking her taxes.
-- Asking what the condoms were for.
-- Having her to contact the "roomate" with you listening (and having her show you the apartment lease with the "roomate's" signature).
-- Contacting the escort site to see if she will be available when she was planning to return to "visit friends" (and how long she's been working there, customer ratings, etc.).
-- Tracking down other escort sites/cam sites with her images (Google image search?).
-- Phone recovery tools.
-- Polygraph

You have lots of options. However, at this point, it just might not be worth the effort.


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## KillerHangover (Jul 26, 2020)

Hey all, have since confirmed everything I need to know and more, she denied it at first but then an hour or so after a heated phone call she called back and admitted the truth.

Was a short phone call, basically she just said "It's true, I was an escort, I'm sorry" and I don't remember much else after that to be honest... brain kinda just went blank. The call was barely a minute or so in duration though and I have since sent a message telling her I will be coming to collect all my stuff on Saturday morning while she's at work, and asked her to not be there otherwise as I aren't interested in seeing her or dragging this out any further now.

The first thing I did was call my mother and tell her the news, just blurted it out to her as soon as she picked up the phone and bawlled my eyes out for a few minutes.

I have told her I will be taking myself of the lease on the place we have been living and that is now her problem to deal with.

I found reviews written about her on "punter" forums where they describe in great detail their sessions with her, which read like a script for exactly what our sex sessions were like. Don't get me wrong, she was great fun in the bedroom, but it turns out she is well practiced. The only difference between what they got and what I got is they were paying for it. Also, it turns out she is quite renowned for her passion and enthusiasm, especially when it comes to unprotected blow job's (referred to as BBBJ) and loves cum on her face.

I'll be getting tested this afternoon, that goes without saying.

****ing sucks reading some of those posts and realising the reason why she was sometimes a little later arriving to my place on a Friday night for our usual weekends together was because she was busy sucking some dudes **** and copping a load on the face - sucks even more that the first thing I would do when she walked in the door was give her a great big kiss on those lips.

Oh well, **** happens. I have sent some of the pictures to the admin that posted here and she can do what she chooses with them. They are publicly available anyway by her own choosing and quite frankly I don't give two ****s what happens from here. 

I wanted to let you all know the conclusion to this given I went and opened up about it to you all, but I have a lot to process and get through personally now, so I'm going to leave it at that and wish you all the best.

Worst. Hangover. Ever.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

KH, SO sorry that this happened to you. Grieve, give it time, you will get past this and realize that you are better off finding this out NOW instead of 10 or 20 years from now.


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## Galabar01 (Mar 20, 2019)

Sorry to hear that KH. Definitely get yourself tested and don't look in the rear-view mirror.


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## Galabar01 (Mar 20, 2019)

KillerHangover said:


> I have told her I will be taking myself of the lease on the place we have been living and that is now her problem to deal with.


In her line of work, she should have no problem paying for the lease herself...


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## Thumos (Jul 21, 2020)

Hope you are getting thoroughly tested


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## Galabar01 (Mar 20, 2019)

KillerHangover said:


> "It's true, I was an escort, I'm sorry"


Was? Seems like she was going back to carry on with her trade.


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## shortbus (Jul 25, 2017)

This really is terrible, but the good thing is, now you know.
You didn't dodge a bullet, you dodged a scud missile!
Hope your tests come back negative.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

What a massively crappy person to allow you to fall in love and ask for her hand, while living this double life of massively gross infidelity. So sorry this happened to you. Actually, it turned out to be the Best. Hangover. Ever.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Hey man .... in all honesty you handled that pretty dang well. You should be patting yourself on the back for quick action.


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## Thumos (Jul 21, 2020)

This was a terrible thing to learn, but it is really a blessing. You dodged a bullet. You handled it well, from discovering the photos to thinking about the past in light of your new discoveries, to not letting her off the hook and getting disclosure of the truth. 

Now you can work on 'fixing your picker' for more quality women in the future -- and examine what may have led you to this point.


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## KillerHangover (Jul 26, 2020)

Mr.Married said:


> Hey man .... in all honesty you handled that pretty dang well. You should be patting yourself on the back for quick action.


I know I said I was going after my last post, but I'm sitting here going over and over it all in my head and couldn't help but check back in here...

Anyway, thanks - I have been unable to sleep and my entire thought process since stumbling on the images on Saturday night has been a one track mind, unable to think about anything else. So I have had a fair bit of free time to look for clues to follow up and answers to support the now confirmed facts.

I have one of those personalities that allows me to keep the emotion at bay and focus on dealing with the immediate problem. But the flip side of that is, this same personality trait tends to push that emotion etc so far back, I know myself well enough to expect that the emotional fall out for me is still to come and when it does, it will be very significant. I don't think anyone would disagree that this kind of thing is likely to cause some real emotional scarring and damage if not dealt with properly and once I start to feel that creeping in, I may have to get some counselling to help.

So while it might appear to be a fairly quick and decisive result on this now, I am fully aware that this is likely to come back and haunt me in the not too distant future. 

But importantly, I have now got the "known, knowns" (the facts) and I have made decisions on and dealt with the immediate problem of the relationship with her accordingly. I am confident these are the logical and rational decisions that will ensure the best outcome for me in this. 

I'm still discovering stuff... I can't help but keep searching and reading through these escort forums etc. But I have set a limit for myself on that and will quit doing that after today, and wake up tomorrow hopefully having had a good solid sleep.

The fact is, the lying and deciet was a deal breaker for me. "standard" Cheating would have been a deal breaker very likely too. But a coordinated, executed and planned campaign of cheating involving creating adds, burner phones, specifically renting an apartment with the requirements of the spare room for escorting and the overall full time double life she has well and truely demonstrated she was capable of maintaining in such a compartmentalised manner is just a whole other level of bad. 

Someone who can do that, to someone they love, but most importantly - to themselves - is an emotionally and/or mentally damaged person. All the best to them in life, but I aren't prepared to bring that kind of liability into my life. **** that.


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## KillerHangover (Jul 26, 2020)

Oh and just out of morbid interest sake, I found details to the hidden bank account she has been saving a lot of the money to obviously and not considering the fact that she has also been paying normal bills and living fairly comfortably on some of the money she has gotten from this, she appears to have saved about 30k in the 12 month period before she moved here with me.

So basic maths says, 30K at her advertised rate of $270 p/h is roughly 111 hours and probably a similar number of random ****s she has had in her. 

Sorry that is pretty crude, but that is the kind of dark **** going through my mind right now


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

It's really good that you reached out to your mother. You're going to need 'in person' support. What did your mother say/how did she react?


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

KillerHangover said:


> I know I said I was going after my last post, but I'm sitting here going over and over it all in my head and couldn't help but check back in here...
> 
> Anyway, thanks - I have been unable to sleep and my entire thought process since stumbling on the images on Saturday night has been a one track mind, unable to think about anything else. So I have had a fair bit of free time to look for clues to follow up and answers to support the now confirmed facts.
> 
> ...


You should hang around this place some. I think you probably have a lot to offer... and maybe a lot to learn for your next relationship. You haven’t been around here long enough to read enough stories to understand how well you did. I get the feeling you may have a bit of a rough background.... gave you the edge on “handling sh!t”.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

F...
Well done, that's all I have to say.

Curious how lax she is with her own private documents knowing she's lying to you however. She gave you access to her laptop all the while knowing her pics were like just hanging out. You're lucky she was incompetent with that. Others like her may not be. Continue to ensure full transparency in the future, and remember that it has helped you dodge a bullet this round.

3 months, that's it. Some people live lies for years, sometimes even with kids latter. You are very lucky!


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

How did you find and get access to her bank account?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Mr.Married said:


> You should hang around this place some. I think you probably have a lot to offer... and maybe a lot to learn for your next relationship. You haven’t been around here long enough to read enough stories to understand how well you did. I get the feeling you may have a bit of a rough background.... gave you the edge on “handling sh!t”.


I agree with Mr. Married, @KillerHangover. Please stick around at TAM. There are many sub-forums that you will find of value and assistance as you move forward with your life.

And yes, counselling will help you.

You clearly care about your ex-fiance. I think it would be a kindness to suggest counselling for her. There are groups that offer help to sex workers who want to change their lifestyle. If you let me know the general area you live in I can research this for you if you wish.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

KH I am truly sorry that you’re discoveries lead you to these findings, and while you have every right to move on and start putting your life back together, and I am really glad that you will be getting therapy, I would suggest that you stick around here if only to use this place as a sounding board for your thoughts...there maybe some dark days ahead and just want you to know we are here to listen.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Another good reason to disassociate yourself from her is that the clientele that escorts attract wouldn't be healthy for your family. imagine you had a wife who was constantly threatened for whatever reason.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

I'll just repeat....really, really glad you found this out now and not after you got married, or worse yet (gulp) had children.

This will eventually be a distant chapter, a story to tell at parties. You can trump most with yours.

Now the battle for you will be to separate yourself from this - I'd stop looking stuff up, stop wondering about things. Just know you were with a master liar, and be done with it. Talk to some friends.


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## Kamstel2 (Feb 24, 2020)

You did a Fantastic job handling this situation. I know it hurts, but you carried yourself very well. You should have your head up and shoulders back. Be proud of how you handled it!!!!

someday, when the pain has subsided, you will be thankful for having discovered those photos!

hang in there!
Lean on friends and family. They want to help.


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## AandM (Jan 30, 2019)

bandit.45 said:


> In Arizona, during the 1880s boom-town era, it was not uncommon for a man and wife to open a saloon together. The husband would run the bar while the wife serviced cowboys and miners upstairs. It happened a lot. Wyatt Earp was his common-law wife's pimp. Wyatt's oldest brother James ran a successful saloon and brothel in Tombstone and his wife was the madame who also entertained clients. It was a fairly common practice during the post-Civil War America, where social mores had lapsed in the face of massive reconstruction. Interesting how this behavior has come full circle in our society.


The key term is "common-law". No declaration of intent, no license, no nuthin' other than time. Same for James; he lived with her in her nicer room after he'd slept it off and all of the johns we're gone; but it wasn't a marriage.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

KillerHangover said:


> I know I said I was going after my last post, but I'm sitting here going over and over it all in my head and couldn't help but check back in here...
> 
> Anyway, thanks - I have been unable to sleep and my entire thought process since stumbling on the images on Saturday night has been a one track mind, unable to think about anything else. So I have had a fair bit of free time to look for clues to follow up and answers to support the now confirmed facts.
> 
> ...



Yes, you are handling this admirably and decisively but you will at some point have to deal with the emotional damage. For now surround yourself with your family and a few close friends who will be there for you. Start pumping at the gym or running or something to get the feel good endorphins flowing. When you are ready get yourself a counselor and set a cut off date for when you are not going to dig anymore, you already know enough. i know it is human nature but you have been traumatized and trying to seek answers in the material you are looking is not going to bring resolution. You need to remove yourself from it and her completely so you can begin to heal.


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

Was there any discussion of why? and her future plans?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

ARGH... my girlfriend just showed me this and DAMN






Watch till the end - BEST REVENGE EVER! 🤣


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

AandM said:


> The key term is "common-law". No declaration of intent, no license, no nuthin' other than time. Same for James; he lived with her in her nicer room after he'd slept it off and all of the johns we're gone; but it wasn't a marriage.


True, but in the puritanical environment of the Victorian age, you had to pose as husband and wife for the public to even talk to you. The west at that time was a den of hypocrisy. Be that as it may, I'm sure both Wyatt and James considered these women to be their wives, even though there was no legal union.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

KH I'm so sorry this happened to you man. You'll get through it and come out stronger and wiser on the other end, even if it doesn't feel that way.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

bandit.45 said:


> KH I'm so sorry this happened to you man. You'll get through it and come out stronger and wiser on the other end, even if it doesn't feel that way.


When i read it i was thinking "Oh Dear Jesus" that woman is evil, coming to him after leaving john/s and allowing him to greet her like that. I would pull a Wrangler Man on her. Print off a bunch of leaflets of her from the website and spread them around the college campus to warn any other poor unsuspecting nice guy that may fall prey to her. Maybe she will gain some business in the dorms...i wonder how many professors she has done for better grades?


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Divinely Favored said:


> When i read it i was thinking "Oh Dear Jesus" that woman is evil, coming to him after leaving john/s and allowing him to greet her like that. I would pull a Wrangler Man on her. Print off a bunch of leaflets of her from the website and spread them around the college campus to warn any other poor unsuspecting nice guy that may fall prey to her. Maybe she will gain some business in the dorms...i wonder how many professors she has done for better grades?


Arizona State University had a huge prostitution network of female students. About 20 to 30 college girls and probably twice that many more they couldn't catch. It got taken down by the AZDPS a few years back. Huge scandal.


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

I'm SO sorry this has happened to you. I think what you have to remember is that there is nothing wrong with YOU there is something very wrong with HER. If she wants to sell herself that's fine but to present herself to you as a faithful woman is just not ever going to be okay. It's small comfort I'm sure to think that it's a good thing you found out before the marriage and children no matter how many times you hear it. 

I think counseling might be very helpful. You've suffered a huge betrayal and those are not easy to move past. A counselor or therapist can help you navigate the tough emotional challenges you're about to face. I'm glad you have your Mom for support as well. 

A lot of people here, myself included, have suffered through betrayal and been blindsided by it and recovered from it. You'll find some really good support here. _hugs_


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## hinterdir (Apr 17, 2018)

KillerHangover said:


> Ok... so I am not quite sure exactly why I am here. I mean, I know why I'm here, but I don't know the extent of it.
> 
> I have been searching the internet for hours now trying to make sense of this all and I have landed here...
> 
> ...


Basically your lady posed for, at the MINIMUM, some mild PORN and sexually charged photos. Not with a female photographer but a male. A male got to be with her alone, her half naked, possibly seeing her nude in between wardrobe changes...for probably hours at a time.
LYING.
She did not tell you, she didn't ask how you feel and see if you are ok with your future wife posing half naked alone with some man.
You are going into a marriage with someone who lies and hides things from you? This is your RED FLAG, SEE THE LIGHT MOMENT.....do not enter, veer off, change course, do not head down this path moment. If she is hiding stuff like this then this marriage is ripe for disaster.
Now, since you already know she lied to you by omission and hid things from you and you know that there really isn't a market for clothed pictures you can rest assured there is a very good chance that a lot more happened. She may have had intercourse or she posed fully naked, graphic, spread eagle.

Any story she feeds you now you have huge reasons to assume she is holding back.

Anyway, at the minimum you know she posed almost nude with a man alone in her place and didn't run it by you or tell you at all.
I'd say flee from her. She sounds super sleazy and would be a horrible wife.


Edit:
Wow, that is one of the grossest stories I've heard. So sorry. That is so disgusting and vile. Dated you for 2 years, expects to marry you, all the while having sex with complete strangers for money behind your back and then being intimate with you.
Utter disgust.


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

hinterdir said:


> Basically your lady posed for, at the MINIMUM, some mild PORN and sexually charged photos. Not with a female photographer but a male. A male got to be with her alone, her half naked, possibly seeing her nude in between wardrobe changes...for probably hours at a time.
> LYING.
> She did not tell you, she didn't ask how you feel and see if you are ok with your future wife posing half naked alone with some man.
> You are going into a marriage with someone who lies and hides things from you? This is your RED FLAG, SEE THE LIGHT MOMENT.....do not enter, veer off, change course, do not head down this path moment. If she is hiding stuff like this then this marriage is ripe for disaster.
> ...


You need to keep reading. It's much worse than that unfortunately. But you'll be happy to know he's already left her.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Think it is time to post your own review on her page.

Really glad you found her out before you were married. Sorry for the pain you are going through. There are good women out there, don’t let this stop you from finding someone true.


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## syhoybenden (Feb 21, 2013)

ABHale said:


> Think it is time to post your own review on her page.



Absolutely brilliant!


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

KillerHangover said:


> Ok, so I've just had a look through the website that she mentioned during the blow up last night and a few pages in, it comes up with a page of escort profiles. There, smack bang in the middle of the page is a profile with a picture of her. It's one of the pictures that I found last night. The ad for her says "on holiday, back soon!" though? Its even got her name, just spelt differently. My head is tingling with adrenaline and I don't know what the *** to do now. She is on the afternoon shift at work now and I won't get hold of her even if I try to call now. I want to message her and ask her what the ***, but everything I have been reading here says I should say nothing until I have more answers. This can't be what it looks like
> 
> What do I do?


You get your things and ghost.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

KillerHangover said:


> Hey all, have since confirmed everything I need to know and more, she denied it at first but then an hour or so after a heated phone call she called back and admitted the truth.
> 
> Was a short phone call, basically she just said "It's true, I was an escort, I'm sorry" and I don't remember much else after that to be honest... brain kinda just went blank. The call was barely a minute or so in duration though and I have since sent a message telling her I will be coming to collect all my stuff on Saturday morning while she's at work, and asked her to not be there otherwise as I aren't interested in seeing her or dragging this out any further now.
> 
> ...


Well look at this way you will have a good story I guess.

Seriously you dodged a very large bullet. You will be thanking the man upstairs one day.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

KillerHangover said:


> I know I said I was going after my last post, but I'm sitting here going over and over it all in my head and couldn't help but check back in here...
> 
> Anyway, thanks - I have been unable to sleep and my entire thought process since stumbling on the images on Saturday night has been a one track mind, unable to think about anything else. So I have had a fair bit of free time to look for clues to follow up and answers to support the now confirmed facts.
> 
> ...


Give yourself more credit. You did great. Of course you might need some counseling. No shame in that. But you set yourself up for a very good life by being proactive and assertive. So you got tricked, happens to all of us. Really this was a little extreme but assholes are assholes. The most important thing is you don't want to marry them. You damn sure don't want to have kids with them.

Your last paragraph shows a lot of wisdom. You are gonna be fine. You will learn from this and end up with someone better. Just takes a little time.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

@KillerHangover it turned out that your fiancée is a prostitute.

Don't seek revenge, don't do anything except move on.

She's a lovely girl, but no. She is not for you.

In fact marrying a prostitute can cause legal problems, at least in the UK, because even if the husband doesn't want his wife to be a prostitute, he can be deemed to be living off immoral earnings and end up in jail.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

MattMatt said:


> @KillerHangover it turned out that your fiancée is a prostitute.
> 
> Don't seek revenge, don't do anything except move on.
> 
> ...


WTF!!!!

Even if he didn’t know???


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

ABHale said:


> WTF!!!!
> 
> Even if he didn’t know???


In theory, yes. And I fear the law's probably the same where KH lives, too.


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## faithfulman (Jun 4, 2018)

MattMatt said:


> She's a lovely girl, but no. She is not for you.



I don't know, if your fiancee is secretly a call girl doing everything for everyone for a buck, that we should describe her as a "lovely girl", unless maybe we are talking about skin-deep physical loveliness...


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## Kamstel2 (Feb 24, 2020)

Hope the move out of your place was smooth and she respected your wish that she stay away.

take care of yourself
It is complete natural to hurt after getting rid of her. It just shows your feelings for her were real. 

good luck and stay strong

and don’t hesitate to come back her if you need help


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

faithfulman said:


> I don't know, if your fiancee is secretly a call girl doing everything for everyone for a buck, that we should describe her as a "lovely girl", unless maybe we are talking about skin-deep physical loveliness...


Remember the old saying "appearances can be deceptive"?

They often can be.


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

MattMatt said:


> Remember the old saying "appearances can be deceptive"?
> 
> They often can be.


Yes, I agree.
She might be lovely, we have no idea where she is coming from. Few of us have not hurt several people badly.
And, he would be liable for living off immoral earning, regardless of whether he knew. Firstly, he would still be living off them and secondly the "I did not know" defence would be difficult to overcome in any situation otherwise.


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## OutofRetirement (Nov 27, 2017)

Would it not be dangerous to have johns come to her residence? Address plus misspelled first name plus pic of her face could get quite a bit info about her. Would she need another man for johns who refuse to pay?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

If she is an escort the agency would handle payments.


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## OutofRetirement (Nov 27, 2017)

MattMatt said:


> If she is an escort the agency would handle payments.


The agency payment is for the "escort" service. Conversation and companionship. $270 per hour for that. Not for "additional services." How much the agency gets and the escort gets out of the agency fee, I don't know. I believe the escort gets about a third of that. Other "services" are negotiated separately between the john and the "escort." The money is in cash in an envelope on a table before any "additional services" are provided. The agency might do some minimal background of johns and might have minimal security. There is a repetitive customer base, so probably she saw the same guys over and over. And she made a good bit more than $270 per hour. But it is dangerous to let johns know where you live in my opinion.


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