# Ladies Question...



## davidmlesley (Mar 29, 2012)

I assume I already know the answer to the question I am about to present; however, I feel like I need some confirmation from other females. My wife of four years is upset, very upset, about the fact that she doesn't have "The Head over Heels Love" for me. And everyone has said this takes time; however, over the last four years I've been gone for most of them because I am a contractor, who works overseas. The love that she wants comes from us being together, as in all relationships correct? The time we spend physically in each others presence? Because there are times, I do feel like my wife doesn't know me and that she does get my intentions and actions misunderstood; however, that would change if I was there, correct? I want my wife to have those "Head over Heels Love" for me that she wants. And I know she wants me but she's been very unhappy because of this fact. I feel like I just need to go home, and re-ignite the flame back into my marriage... Ladies am I on the right track or am I off base?


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

If my husband were gone for 4 years I don't think I could stay in love with him. It's simply too long to be apart.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

I think.... you won't find out unless you TRY IT. If you want to save your marriage, then you do what you can to make it work. If being apart doesn't work...then try something else!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

If your wife is a "Quality Time" woman and she craves....just being with you.... I do not believe a marraige could survive happily if you are absent THAT much, it is simply too difficult, too lonely , even depressing.  I know I would never survive it personally. I couldn't even be married to a work a holic, I would miss him too much. I'd rather have less money and more of my man around. 

Me & mine are both are Quality time / Physical Touchers, so at least we both want the same thing. 

Can you take a different job closer to home, so you can get your marraige re-vived? Money is important , and sometimes these things are temporary... it is easier when we have an END in site -to get back to normal, but indefiniitely would be soo sooo very difficult .


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

The Head Over Heels love you mentioned isn't long lasting. The butterflies in your stomach love goes away for all of us. That doesn't mean you don't love the person. It transitions into a deeper, lasting love of a different kind. Having said that, I think what your wife is saying is she doesn't feel an emotional connection to you. She's probably gotten used to leading an independent life than an interdependent life. 

If I had to come to an empty home day after day with no way to really share what happened at work, with no one to look in on me if I was sick, no one there if something scary happened at night..and this was what Mon -Sun was like for me, I'd feel disconnected and very lonely. I'd wonder why I was even in the marriage. If I were you, I would go back home, reignite the marital flames...


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

I would never marry a man who was away all the time. I need affection and sex to feel like I am in a real relationship. It makes complete sense that your wife does not feel connected to you. I know you had to work, but how can love grow after FOUR years of being apart? Your wife must feel like she barely knows you.

She may also be concerned that you were unfaithful during that time-I don't believe in long distance relationships for that reason. It is too easy for a person to be tempted when their partner is always gone. 

Coffee Amore is right about deep lasting love, though a couple can still have moments where they feel head over heels in love. It is important to have romance and excitement in a marriage, no matter how many years the couple have shared.


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