# Addiction of gambling



## LoveMouse (Apr 22, 2012)

My x wife had cheated on me for over a year before we started the divorce so by the time I moved out, I was ready to start dating. Oh, my X was selling sex for points on Farmville, so any kind of addiction is a sore subject with me.
A guy @ work hooked me up w/ his sister, she was so nice and looking for a Christian man, I was looking for a Christian woman, perfect, or so I thought.
She worked a full time job, helped her old parents and was going to school for her Masters!! How nice it all seemed, she was like the perfect woman who loved God, family and wasn't afraid of hard work.
We dated for about 3mo before she ever mentioned going to the "Boat" w/ her mom.....and as time went on I realized it was as much her problem as it was her mom's.
About 9mo into the relationship her addiction kicked in high gear, it became so important she "spend" time w/ her mom @ the boat I got worried and expressed my fears and concerns....that was met w/ "you just don't want me spending any time w/ my mom or anybody else but you" Knowing I have my own fears about gambling and the effects it has on family I took a step back and allowed her that freedom.
It got worse. It wasn't only on Fri night but just about any night I was busy w/ my kids. My kids know and love her, when she was @ the boat and not @ school functions it was just wrong. It was an all the time event, it didn't matter what else was going on, the boat had it's place in her life!!
Her dad was in a nursing home for a while and she'd plan time her brother and sister would come so she could take mom to the boat!! It was just aweful, I wouldn't ever want to be second fiddle to a boat!!
Her dad became very ill, she was with him all the time b/c he was so sick. He was told he had cancer and needed kemo the very next day. He came home and was even worse (she was texting me about him throwing up) The next day he was still very sick and she was talking about getting him a full time nurse......and where did she go? The boat!! Left poor dad home alone, throwing up and not able to walk by himself!!! Her and her mom were out til 1am gambling and had no concern about anybody else. I broke up w/ her that next day, I explained how cruel she had been to her father and I didn't want any part of that. I explained I was on the "path" Christ had chosen and she was not on the same path, she was becoming a distraction. She begged me to let her come w/ me on the same path and she wouldn't gamble any more, but she would drive her mom if she needed to. We set up "rules" that allowed her mother to gamble but not her, one rule was I was given the option to come w/.
The last 3 weeks of her fathers life she was there, I was thinking she changed but the night he passed her mom made several references about being @ the boat while the nurse was there, I let it slide, her husband had just passed.
The week he died was hard on the whole family, I was there for moral support and any little thing they needed. The one night I was supposed to stay for dinner and suddenly she told me to go home, I was beat so I went. The day of the funeral I had to pick up my kids so I left early. She wasn't avalible for text for hrs (a sign she was @ the boat, no signal in there, or she can't hear her phone)
The next day she claimed to be busy cleaning and going thru stuff w/ her mom so I asked if she needed the boys to come out and give them a hand, she declined....3 times!!!! She kept sending text messages why I couldn't help, she was tired, her mom was just sick of people and wanted to be alone, etc....it stunk to high heaven.
The next day, I woke up and knew she was @ the boat. In church I asked her point blank and she admitted she had gone BUT she didn't gamble. Ya see we text until 10pm and she always let me on she was @ her mom's house....but she was @ the boat. She didn't follow any rules we had set up when I broke up w/ her, SHE LIED!! Later when I wanted to talk about it she got mad and started a big fight. I asked her to stop yelling and just talk it out w/ me but she wasn't able, it just kept coming out as she was the one who was hurt, she needed an apology. :scratchhead: I was the selfish one, I was the one who was hurting her.......even @ dinner she got mad and made it out like I didn't take care of her, she was watching TV and I didn't make her plate first....oh she got so mad....and then she got mad b/c she didn't leave @ the time she wanted, she was too busy watching TV w/ my son.....and it was all my fault!!! I even told her what time it was b/c I had to pick up my other son.
This morning I woke up and I know she was @ the boat gambling for 3hrs, I just know.
I have compassion for her, her dad just died a week ago today but I won't take false guilt, I won't allow her to blame shift and I sure as heII won't be in a relationship w/ a woman who gambles and blames that on her mom!!!!
I've broken up w/ her once for this exact same thing and I know she wants the same life I want, she just isn't willing to give up the boat.....and that I can't live w/.
I have been very clear about the gambling, she has promised to quit but she's lied to me, she's broken that trust......what do I do now? Remember, her dad just passed away..... Am I a chicken?
Mouse


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## LoveMouse (Apr 22, 2012)

We talked last night, she wants proof (from the bible) gambling is wrong. I told her it didn't matter, gambling has no part in my life or the life of my childrens.
Mouse


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

My parents are gambling addicts.

My best advice to you is cut her loose until she seeks help. All my parents ever want to do is gamble and I won't have any part if it. I don't mind the occasional night out but what they do is excessive. They care more about that than anything else and that's not okay with me. I deserve better and so do you.

Addicts lie its what they do. She will continue to lie. And her wanting proof out of the bible is a cop out. She's already proven she has zero interest in stopping.


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## Odaat (Nov 21, 2012)

As a gambling addict, I can tell you they have to hit their own bottom.

If you don't want to tolerate gambling, then don't. I told my wife every time I was caught, "Never again, I swear." Sometimes I did want to stop, other times I didn't but I was afraid of losing the marriage so I said anything I could.

As Mavash said, "Addicts lie." That is the cleanest simplest truth. Give her the GA quiz, if she'd even look at it. But, from experience, until she hits that bottom, everything she does will be filtered through the addicts lies and rationalizations and nothing will change.


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