# boyfriend watching porn instead of sex w/me



## smile 10 (Sep 14, 2013)

I feel very hurt and disappointed, My boyfriend of 8 years decide to watch porn instead of having sex with me. It's not like I am not will to try new things with him. Every time, I try to have sex with him. He tell me he is tried, we only have sex like 3x per month. I caught him a few time watching porn and beating off. When I ask him why does he do that, he tell me. He doesn't know and he just tells me "I'm sorry" and he won't do it again, a few months go by and then once again, the same thing. I just caught him yesterday. I try talking to him once again and he explain he was boring and he likes seeing naked people. I don't know if he has a porn problem? or is it normal? or should we go to counseling? Whats worse of all I found out his planning to give me an engagement ring, I am not sure if I want it, because I am really hurt. am I make this bigger deal? I don't know what to do anymore Any Advice?


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

He is choosing porn over you right now, don't marry him. Marrying him will only makes things worse, its likely not going to change. Move on.


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## SaltInWound (Jan 2, 2013)

Dump him. Find a man who chooses a warm body over his own hand. It only gets worse if you stay.


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## sparkyjim (Sep 22, 2012)

yeah - it only gets worse...

DOn't stay in this relationship if this kind of behavior bothers you.


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## AnnieAsh (Aug 22, 2012)

I wish so fervently I had known the extent of my husband's habit before I married him.

If this is a dealbraker for you do NOT marry him. I don't know if he's an addict. I can only speak of my husband's struggles. BUT if the lack of sex and his choosing porn really hurts you, don't expect it to change. Walk away.


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## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

What type of porn?

That's a key question, because you might want to take a close look at it. Obviously if he's watching gay porn, that would solve your mystery right there. 

But otherwise, he might be looking at porn of a certain type of woman that is different from you (thin, fat, asian, whatever). It might at least let you know what is going on.


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

Do you live in a studio or something? I could see him getting caught once, but how have you caught him multiple times? That almost sounds like someone who wants to get caught. 

Also, how did you find out about the engagement ring? Are you constantly snooping on him? If so, why? I wouldn't want a marriage with someone I couldn't trust.


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## john_lord_b3 (Jan 11, 2013)

Your boyfriend does not seems to be good husband material. There are types of people whom are much better become single. I have many such friends, many of them artists and computer experts. I am afraid he is one of such people.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

That is the key. 

Boyfriend<>husband

Boyfriend becomes ex-boyfriend

Trying to work through tough issues with a guy who is there on a trial basis is not a good use of time and energy. He had his audition, is not what the role demands, and should be sent on his way.

You can never find a good mate if you refuse to leave a bad bf/gf.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

It will get more prevelent the further you go in the relationship. If this bothers you a little now.. It will bother you a lot after marriage & cause big strife.

Do not marry him if you can't accept it now.


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## Mr B (Feb 6, 2009)

Some men prefer porn and masturbation to partner sex. Usually this is a lifelong thing.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Honestly, he has probably grown tired of sex with you. It could be because he wants something/someone new or because he no longer feels attracted to you.


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## 2galsmom (Feb 14, 2013)

Dump him.


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## Revel (Mar 13, 2012)

I’ve seen this issue occasionally on a variety of forums, and it often attributed to porn addiction. However, there are several common factors that indicate that low testosterone may be an issue. It’s usually an apparently low libido man, often with performance issues, who often uses the excuse of being tired. Porn offers a save and lazy sexual outlet that doesn’t require any physical effort. Has he had nay performance issues? How old is he? How is his fitness level? Is he overweight? Check online for other symptoms of low testosterone and see if you think that this may apply to his situation.


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## MyHappyPlace (Aug 11, 2013)

My XH started similar behavior after we were married. But I didn't have to "catch" him... he openly did it in front of me. I would be laying in bed, butt naked, wanting him, and he would rather wank it. It wasn't even like he just wanted a quick release as he would be at it for.ev.er and if I even tried to be physically involved with him at the time, he would instantly lose his erection but regain it when I sulked away. But when he wanted me, the sex was great! That was one of the two reasons he is now my X. The marriage didn't even last 8 months. 
If this guy is already doing this to you and you are already bothered by it, nothing will change. He's not going to stop as he's already proven. And you aren't going to suddenly stop being hurt by it.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

Low T or not, this is a BF. If this is his preference it won't disappear with some T shots. It is a mental state.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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