# When the dumpED becomes the dumper



## hopeforbetter (Mar 20, 2013)

Hey...now you want to hear this one!!!
If you want the whole story you can read my 2 other threads:

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/consid...-pushed-him-away-now-i-fear-its-too-late.html

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-...11-still-living-together-but-trying-move.html

So how does the dumpED becomes the dumper...by doing the 180 for yourself and realizing you are moving forward, and that you are actually having fun and finding yourself again. By not fighting, not caring,not talking, not bringing up issues, you start to see more clearly the other persons faults. Everytime they are negative, they piss you off, they are not caring, mean, boring, a88holes, immature, stupid, angry for no reason...YOU SEE IT CLEARLY because your not involved emotionally anymore.

The more you detach yourself the more you see, wow, I am the one who wants to try to make this work?? I want to win him back really? Why?? There are so many awesome people in the world who would respect me, accept me, love me. 
Only thing holding back right now is the unknown I guess.

It might be just a passing thing, but at this present moment right now, I am ready to ask him to just get on with it!!!!
Move along!!!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Good place to be in the rollercoaster of heartbreak and break up.

I'm right there with ya 

4 days now, no contact since he moved out. Well, he did text about some of his TOOLS  But nothing about the kids, the house, me, the dogs. Nada.

So...he just completely PROVED to me that he is a piece of crap. Seriously. Wow. Makes it way easier to be like, "adios m-effer."


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## hopeforbetter (Mar 20, 2013)

I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW THE RAIN HAS GONE!!!
First off its a beautiful day, and I love being outside, so I am outside cleaning my yard.
Before I would be outside alone cleaning the yard and feel a bit sad because I hoped my other half would enjoy it with me, maybe even help? But I knew it would never happen because he never liked being outside, never enjoyed time in the yard with us. Before I was sad because I had no one to share the things I love with me...although I had a Husband that loved me.

Today, Im enjoying myself, cleaning my yard.Its a beautiful day and I have no expectations.I am doing it for me, because I like it.
I can start making friends and find people who will like to enjoy some time outside with me, Bbq, HAVE FUN!!!

Oh yes, that's another thing, this man who called himself my husband could never have fun with us. Every time we do something, Halloween, Christmas decorations, there's always an issue with him. He cant enjoy, always criticizing something, mad at something else.
We have a wonderful daughter, I mean really.This child is beautiful, well behaved, fun, loves to laugh, witty, smart. Well he cannot have any fun with her or with us. I am also a loving caring wife, beautiful, fun, active.Despite the bad year we just had....I wasn't always a b***, a woman can only take so much. Poor guy doesn't know what hes losing and probably won't realize before 10y are past.

Go ahead loser, go ride that mechanical bull every single night and get drunk.Talk to woman, that is going to help you with your self esteem issues and multiple other issues that I now see you have. We are so better then this and deserve sooo much more.

Thanks for showing me more and more everyday.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

yup. I feel the same. what an empty life they have.


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## Stretch (Dec 12, 2012)

Ladies,

When you choose to trust and give your love and affection to someone else again, there are going to be some lucky guys out there.

Stretch


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