# Having trouble with the O



## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

Its very frustrating. Hubby and I still have a pretty active sex life, at least 1x a week (which I consider good because we have two small kids who have been going through a rough patch in the sleep department). I have desire, and we are very adventurous in bed. I have O'ed with him before and know what I like to get there, it just seems that lately it takes me forever to get there ...like 30 mins or more. Sometimes no matter what we do I just can't get there. I don't know what it is...I truly feel its a mental thing, I have a horrible time turning my head off and a lot of times feel like I have these intrusive non-sexual thoughts. I don't know if anyone else can relate? We also usually feel like we have to cram sex in between other things, like finishing before one of the kids wakes up, before the babysitting is over, whatever. Its always something.

I have stopped masturbating for the last month or so to make sure that's not holding me back, and I am not on any BC. But I notice that if I really can't get there and it's been like an hour and hubby is exhausted, I can finish myself in like 5 mins. Hubby participates or watches, which he likes, but I would rather be sharing it with him.

Ugh, frustrated. I wish my body would just cooperate!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

you should visit your gyno or doc to rule out physical reasons first


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

Maybe give yourself a couple of days on a weekend to rest up. Exhaustion can really mess with orgasms (it can for me, though I'm male).

Have your hubby take the kids out a lot to parks and all that. Give you some quiet time at home, reading, relaxing, take a nice bath... just pamper yourself a bit. See if after that things get better.


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## isla~mama (Feb 1, 2012)

It's actually pretty common for women not to O during intercourse. If you can get there in 5 minutes through masturbation, why not do that as foreplay while he fingers you, or take an intermission to O and then have him finish while you're still tingly? 

I assume you've tried masturbating while he's inside you?


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## bitter99 (Apr 25, 2012)

I can totally relate, but our kids are old enough if our doors closed they usually go back to bed. Being mentally aroused is a problem for me too (but part for my own reasons). There is always something. lol 

After ruleing out things with your dr., try to figure out ways to help you be mentally there. Lighting, music, scheduling a block of time to be romantic, telling yourself you'll think about the intrusive things later, smartballs. 

I have wondered if times when I really cant/take longer might be linked to my cycle. One of my friends mentioned it once but I never looked into it like I meant to. Also sometimes trying too hard can get you the opposite results. Try to relax if its mental.


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