# witnessed married man try to pick someone up, vicariously disgusted



## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

So dh and I went out for dinner to favorite local pub. Two younger women (married/engaged) were talking at the bar. Two married guys come in. One tried to take the stool a woman had been sitting in. She comes back and he apologies, starts flirting (very obvious).

Throughout the dinner he's staring at her repeatedly. Like full on staring and smiling in a creeper way. Not a "good looking woman" peek but repeated checking out vibe. 

As dh and I got ready to leavel the married guy approached and asked one of them who was driving them home. One of the women answered that she was the driver. They were not drunk, so it wasn't safety issue. He then comes back with "How far away do you live? Where do you live?" etc.

At that point dh and I left. I was just flabbergasted that this dude sporting a ring (who didn't know these people - he introduced himself) would so blatantly test the waters at a small family run bar early in the evening. 

And to be honest, I felt bad for his wife. Granted I know nothing about these people, but to see this on display so obviously bothered me.

Did you ever witness anything so obvious? FWIW, this was not late at night, it was 8 pm.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

You never know, he could be in an open marriage, his spouse could have died, he could be separated, he could be putting on a ring just to get women (apparently it works sometimes...). 

But... 

I was at a restaurant bar a while ago and saw a man write on a napkin and give it to a woman, while his pregnant wife was in the washroom. I assume his number was on the napkin. As far as I could tell they didn't know each other and hadn't talked at all but he was checking her out. 

I have also had a "friend" (who I haven't seen since) offer another man a blowjob and really pushed for it, while her husband was outside. She would have ran off to blow this guy with her husband 40' away.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

snowbum said:


> So dh and I went out for dinner to favorite local pub. Two younger women (married/engaged) were talking at the bar. Two married guys come in.....
> 
> .....I was just flabbergasted that this dude sporting a ring (who didn't know these people -..........And to be honest, I felt bad for his wife. Granted I know nothing about these people, but to see this on display so obviously bothered me.
> 
> Did you ever witness anything so obvious? FWIW, this was not late at night, it was 8 pm.


First, you really don't know what happened. I have known lots of women who wear wedding & engagement rings when out in public to keep men from flirting with them or to allow them to say no they are not available. Guys can still be wearing a wedding ring and not be married, such as widower or divorced, but still honoring their past wife. 

You could have even witnessed a husband wife and friends trying to spice up their marriage with a little public role playing, before they went home with their spouse.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

snowbum said:


> So dh and I went out for dinner to favorite local pub. Two younger women (married/engaged) were talking at the bar. Two married guys come in. One tried to take the stool a woman had been sitting in. She comes back and he apologies, starts flirting (very obvious).
> 
> Throughout the dinner he's staring at her repeatedly. Like full on staring and smiling in a creeper way. Not a "good looking woman" peek but repeated checking out vibe.
> 
> ...


Yes, I have witnessed something so obvious. The most disgusting display I ever saw was in the downstairs lobby of a restaurant. Downstairs lobby is where the restrooms and exit/entrance to the place were. So a man and his wife were there and had their baby (like 2) with them. The woman told him she was going to the ladies room, right nearby. He put the baby on his head and walked up to the woman I was with, who is also married, using the baby as his conversation starter and wingman. Clearly flirting with her. No shame, no ethics, no business with a baby.

If it was open marriage, he wouldn't be wearing his ring, which would only slow down his progress.


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## wolfstooth (10 mo ago)

I used to go to the bars all the time with two other men; I’ve seen it all; had one lady lie to me about being married, another woman told me her husband was a trucker and out of town; both of those women approached me; my two friends messed around with married women too; you would be gobsmacked just how much infidelity happens; I’ve seen it first hand and speak from experience


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

snowbum said:


> So dh and I went out for dinner to favorite local pub. Two younger women (married/engaged) were talking at the bar. Two married guys come in. One tried to take the stool a woman had been sitting in. She comes back and he apologies, starts flirting (very obvious).
> 
> Throughout the dinner he's staring at her repeatedly. Like full on staring and smiling in a creeper way. Not a "good looking woman" peek but repeated checking out vibe.
> 
> ...


This stops those who are honorable and have integrity.

It hasn't slowed down the others.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

People behaving badly aren't rare or new unfortunately.

About 20 years ago, Mrs. C and I took the boys down the Oregon coast to the redwoods and back.

While sitting next to my wife, with our youngest son on my lap and our oldest playing behind us, a lady park ranger walked right up to me and propositioned me like I was alone.

Mrs. C and I have a sense of humor so I just looked over at my wife and said "I don't know honey, what do you think?" 😋


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Bars and Pubs are meant to be _Meet _Markets.

Some local yokels think it, _Meat_.

Nothing new here, this behavior has been going on for thousands of years.
Before, even the Roman times.
Whenever spirits first went retail.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

ConanHub said:


> This stops those who are honorable and have integrity.
> 
> It hasn't slowed down the others.
> 
> View attachment 86631


Some people actually see it as more of a challenge if the other person is married. Unbelievable.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

ConanHub said:


> People behaving badly isn't rare or new unfortunately.
> 
> About 20 years ago, Mrs. C and I took the boys down the Oregon coast to the redwoods and back.
> 
> ...


That happened to Mr D several times when he was walking along with his first wife in the far East. I mean that's just crazy.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Diana7 said:


> That happened to Mr D several times when he was walking along with his first wife in the far East. I mean that's just crazy.


And here I just thought it was California.😵‍💫


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

If you asked me if some people at bars are sleazy I'd have guessed yes. As for taking the time to find out, I'll get to it when I don't have better uses for my time.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

All over the world no doubt.😳


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

A wedding ring almost seems like a magnet at times for people to hit on you. I have had women try to flirt with me when I am wearing my ring on a few occasions. My wife has had it happen on multiple occasions and says that some people are just downright creepy when they try to flirt.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

A woman who worked at my husband's old workplace (he worked there a few years ago) tried to get together with him. I'd visit hubby at work sometimes and while I was waiting for him, she'd give me really bad looks and ignored me until hubby came up to me, then she'd smile brightly and say, "Hi! How are you!!" 

The employees in hubby's team put together a holiday get together at a bar, my husband didn't want to go and stayed home. She texted him several times (all the employees on hubby's team had each others phone numbers), at first saying how she wished he was there, that she missed his presence there. 

Then she texted him something like, "I'm a little drunk and I can't get you off my mind!! We should have some fun sometime, too bad it's too late tonight....is it?" with a bunch of emojis, including the purple devil and hearts eyes smiley face. 

I was in the kitchen putting away dishes and hubby was on the couch in the family room. I heard his text sound go off and from the kitchen, I saw him looking at his phone. I asked him who it was and he said someone from work. Neither one of us normally get calls or texts at that time of night. 

Then I saw him text back. And my heart kinda sank. 

When hubby got up to go upstairs to get something, I picked up his phone and read the texts.

I saw her texts and read my husband's reply to her. 

My husband texted her back saying her texts were inappropriate and not to text him again unless it was work related.

And that's when my heart started glowing. 

As a sidenote, this woman started seeing a guy from work who lived with his girlfriend. Word got around at work about it and word got back to the guy's girlfriend, who dumped him.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

ConanHub said:


> Mrs. C and I have a sense of humor so I just looked over at my wife and said "I don't know honey, what do you think?" 😋


This is awesome!!


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

so_sweet said:


> A woman who worked at my husband's old workplace (he worked there a few years ago) tried to get together with him. I'd visit hubby at work sometimes and while I was waiting for him, she'd give me really bad looks and ignored me until hubby came up to me, then she'd smile brightly and say, "Hi! How are you!!"
> 
> The employees in hubby's team put together a holiday get together at a bar, my husband didn't want to go and stayed home. She texted him several times (all the employees on hubby's team had each others phone numbers), at first saying how she wished he was there, that she missed his presence there.
> 
> ...


That must of been a wonderful feeling to see his reply back to her.... A lady who openly pursues a guy who she knows is married is a skank lol.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

.


ThatDarnGuy! said:


> That must of been a wonderful feeling to see his reply back to her.... A lady who openly pursues a guy who she knows is married is a skank lol.


Yep, it was a wonderful feeling and 100% agree that anyone who chases after a married person is a skank!


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

I had a lady hit on me in front of my wife on the trip I was just on. I mean I don’t blame her I am pretty awesome!

Generally I like it because it means she is going to bang the snot out of me later.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

In my early 20's I used to hang out at the bars all the time. Back then, there were these 2 girls, best friends, who would come to the bar one weekend a month. I used to chat them up because they were attractive, and I occasionally sat and shared drinks with them. One day I decided to get the one girl's phone number after we had gotten to know each other a little. She gave me her number and then explained that her husband was in the Army and she was home alone so she had time to get together. I never knew she was married. I never called her. 

Fast forward maybe 7 years later. I was starting my job as a corrections officer and we had a graduation from academy. During academy, there were a few of us that stuck together and became friends. At graduation, everyone brought their family in, including the guy that was probably my best friend in academy. We ran into each other, he introduced me to his wife, and when she turned around, it was her. She immediately recognized me and I her. We both pretended not to know one another. I know for a fact my friend's wife was cheating on him at the bar while he was fighting overseas. I wasn't the only one to talk her. I never said anything to him.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

I can't see why I would be surprised. That's normal human behavior. Nothing new there. Same business as usual for humans since at least the last 200,000 years; from the beginnings, basically. 
It still bugs me to read and/or hear people asseverate with such certainty and in horror that we are a monogamous species. Nothing more ridiculous and moronic, because WE ARE NOT A MONOGAMOUS SPECIES. If we were we wouldn't have to worry about cheating, because we humans wouldn't cheat.

What we have is a social system that evolved thousands of years ago in order to ensure that a child's bloodline was that of the father, not someone else's. A marriage contract evolved were we pledge ourselves to the betrothed. 

Those that live in the real world and not in some made up in their head la la land understand and see the cheating going on in all stratus of life. Basically, a little less than half of humans are able to stick by their pledge, the rest, well OP saw it at the restaurant


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Rob_1 said:


> I can't see why I would be surprised. That's normal human behavior. Nothing new there. Same business as usual for humans since at least the last 200,000 years; from the beginnings, basically.
> It still bugs me to read and/or hear people asseverate with such certainty and in horror that we are a monogamous species. Nothing more ridiculous and moronic, because WE ARE NOT A MONOGAMOUS SPECIES. If we were we wouldn't have to worry about cheating, because we humans wouldn't cheat.
> 
> What we have is a social system that evolved thousands of years ago in order to ensure that a child's bloodline was that of the father, not someone else's. A marriage contract evolved were we pledge ourselves to the betrothed.
> ...


I disagree. It's a known fact that children thrive and do best in a family with a mum and dad. It's how we are designed to be. 
People cheat because they have no moral values or integrity, not because we aren't made that way.


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## gaius (Nov 5, 2020)

So you went out to dinner with your husband and spent most of it paying attention to what some married guy at the bar was doing.

Whatever you want to say about married guys wife, she's probably not bored enough to focus somewhere else whenever he takes her out.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

gaius said:


> So you went out to dinner with your husband and spent most of it paying attention to what some married guy at the bar was doing.
> 
> Whatever you want to say about married guys wife, she's probably not bored enough to focus somewhere else whenever he takes her out.


I doubt she spent most of it doing that.


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## gaius (Nov 5, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> I doubt she spent most of it doing that.


She seems to know a lot of detail about what this married guy was doing and saying. Which would have required her husband to not be talking much. Or if he was he got ignored for the guy at the bar.

At least one of the men there showed her an interesting night.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

gaius said:


> She seems to know a lot of detail about what this married guy was doing and saying. Which would have required her husband to not be talking much. Or if he was he got ignored for the guy at the bar.
> 
> At least one of the men there showed her an interesting night.


Maybe they were both noticing what was going on.


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## harperlee (May 1, 2018)

It's too bad, Snowbum, that you didn't have a better time with your husband at dinner. Maybe focus on the relationship you have with your husband and what you want it to be.
Eavesdropping is considered ill-mannered.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

harperlee said:


> It's too bad, Snowbum, that you didn't have a better time with your husband at dinner. Maybe focus on the relationship you have with your husband and what you want it to be.
> Eavesdropping is considered ill-mannered.


It's not hard to notice things that are so blatant. 
I am sure she had a nice time but we aren't blind to what is happening around us.


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## harperlee (May 1, 2018)

My point is that this isn't anger at complete strangers. The anger was pain about something else. My post, perhaps not enough to the point, is for the op to notice the space required to be more entertained by two strangers than each other.


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

I had a great time. I loved the time with my husband and I’m not bitter. There werent many people in the establishment and the guy was kiddie corner from me. Kind of hard not to hear when he’s speaking at full volume. Not eavesdropping when the guy is talking across other patrons
And again, dh and enjoyed our night😉


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## ShatteredKat (Mar 23, 2016)

A couple of decades ago, (when I was younger), I worked in a factory with thousands of women - the majority of the work force. Those with integrity - called the place a Meat-Market. I thought that term was for bars. Many had idle chat about who was doing who. It was common.

My best was when I was in a "managers meeting" and another manager came in saying: "Mr. Yokel, there is an attractive Brunette with Green fingernail polish standing in the hall outside the door asking for you." One of the "pass-arounds" in the factory. Had a Penthouse Centerfold figure and long dark brown hair, perfect complexion and wore clothes more suited to going out to a club than a factory. Didn't bother to go to the door. 

My point being "pick-up" activities happen at bars, supermarkets, work-places everywhere, even bank tellers at work.


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## gaius (Nov 5, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> Maybe they were both noticing what was going on.


That's even worse, her husband busy checking out a guy at the bar to see if he's wearing a wedding ring instead of paying attention to snowbum. I'd never suggest such a thing.

Honestly Diana, I've been out to eat a few hundred times with my wife. I wouldn't have noticed if Donald Trump was at the bar. Let alone if he was wearing a wedding ring. Sounds like there's a strand of jealousy at play. That guy was making all that effort to charm and woo that woman and her husband couldn't even keep a conversation going.


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

First of all my husband and I did have a conversation going. That’s flat out wrong to state otherwise. I specifically stated 3 things that happened in an hour. I guess you’ve never heard someone talk in an obnoxiously loud voice.
Fwiw… we don’t suffer from a boring sex life or personal life. I commented on odd behavior from the guy sitting at the stool a foot from me at a pub. Whatever.
People can go out and be aware of others in their priximity. And no my husband wasn’t that in tune because the guy sat by me, not my husband


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

gaius said:


> That's even worse, her husband busy checking out a guy at the bar to see if he's wearing a wedding ring instead of paying attention to snowbum. I'd never suggest such a thing.
> 
> Honestly Diana, I've been out to eat a few hundred times with my wife. I wouldn't have noticed if Donald Trump was at the bar. Let alone if he was wearing a wedding ring. Sounds like there's a strand of jealousy at play. That guy was making all that effort to charm and woo that woman and her husband couldn't even keep a conversation going.


You are seeing this very differently from me. Some people are very observant and notice things without really trying. Believe it or not, you can be having a very enjoyable evening and actually still be aware of people a few feet away.
Jealousy? Not sure how you could possibly reach that conclusion from what was written.


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## gaius (Nov 5, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> You are seeing this very differently from me. Some people are very observant and notice things without really trying. Believe it or not, you can be having a very enjoyable evening and actually still be aware of people a few feet away.
> Jealousy? Not sure how you could possibly reach that conclusion from what was written.


How many guys around you were wearing wedding rings last time you went out to dinner with your husband? And what were they talking about with their dates?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

gaius said:


> How many guys around you were wearing wedding rings last time you went out to dinner with your husband? And what were they talking about with their dates?


I don't go to bars, but I often notice if people are wearing wedding rings.


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## gaius (Nov 5, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> I don't go to bars, but I often notice if people are wearing wedding rings.


Ok. But you have no specifics from the last time you went out to dinner with your husband. Which is pretty normal if you're having an entertaining time with the person you're with.


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

Last comment: they was leaning in to me to talk to other people. Had we been at a table or booth it wouldn’t have been something I’d have been aware of.
When people carry on a conversation across you you notice. This wasn’t 15-20 ft away. It was 2-3. And the speaking volume was loud enough for others to hear. You’re making this into me ignoring my husband or 2 disconnected people out and not speaking. It was actually having space invaded by loud talkers. But as I said I observed an obvious interaction. I wasn’t straining, leaningetc


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

Why do you insist I wasn’t having a good time. We were winding up our date and popped infoer a drink. Happily married 2) years together 30. Your conjecture is ridiculous.


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

Meant to type 26 years and still enjoying each other 4-5 times a week. Hardly a shrewish bitter woman.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

snowbum said:


> Last comment: they was leaning in to me to talk to other people. Had we been at a table or booth it wouldn’t have been something I’d have been aware of.
> When people carry on a conversation across you you notice. This wasn’t 15-20 ft away. It was 2-3. And the speaking volume was loud enough for others to hear. You’re making this into me ignoring my husband or 2 disconnected people out and not speaking. It was actually having space invaded by loud talkers. But as I said I observed an obvious interaction. I wasn’t straining, leaningetc


Mrs. C and I notice things as well. You seem pretty normal to this barbarian.

I think it's more than a stretch, trying to paint you and your husband negatively for noticing what you did.


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## gaius (Nov 5, 2020)

I'm not insisting anything. You posted a thread about an experience you had, I'm curious about it and others experiences. Because I personally have never experienced going out and having my date focus so much attention on something other than me. It's an unfamiliar dynamic.

But people don't seem to really want to get into it, maybe at the risk of offending you. So I guess everyone back to how bad cheaters are instead?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

gaius said:


> Ok. But you have no specifics from the last time you went out to dinner with your husband. Which is pretty normal if you're having an entertaining time with the person you're with.


The last time we went out for a meal it was very quiet and there were only 2 other couples there. We were in pods so couldn't see much. 
I do notice things though, as does Mr D.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

snowbum said:


> Last comment: they was leaning in to me to talk to other people. Had we been at a table or booth it wouldn’t have been something I’d have been aware of.
> When people carry on a conversation across you you notice. This wasn’t 15-20 ft away. It was 2-3. And the speaking volume was loud enough for others to hear. You’re making this into me ignoring my husband or 2 disconnected people out and not speaking. It was actually having space invaded by loud talkers. But as I said I observed an obvious interaction. I wasn’t straining, leaningetc


You don't have to explain yourself. We don't go round in bubbles, we can all see and hear what is going on around us, especially if it's literally just next to us.


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## gaius (Nov 5, 2020)

ConanHub said:


> Mrs. C and I notice things as well. You seem pretty normal to this barbarian.
> 
> I think it's more than a stretch, trying to paint you and your husband negatively for noticing what you did.


Well I'm sure your wife could probably recall every detail about everything and everyone in the restaurant the last time you went out Conan. Probably even what brand lightbulbs they used in the lamps. That I can't argue with you about. 

Alright, back to the normal thread. Oh man that guys going to rot hell for what he did! How could he be so mean to his wife??????


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

gaius said:


> I'm not insisting anything. You posted a thread about an experience you had, I'm curious about it and others experiences. Because I personally have never experienced going out and having my date focus so much attention on something other than me. It's an unfamiliar dynamic.
> 
> But people don't seem to really want to get into it, maybe at the risk of offending you. So I guess everyone back to how bad cheaters are instead?


Cheaters are bad.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

gaius said:


> Well I'm sure your wife could probably recall every detail about everything and everyone in the restaurant the last time you went out Conan. Probably even what brand lightbulbs they used in the lamps. That I can't argue with you about.
> 
> Alright, back to the normal thread. Oh man that guys going to rot hell for what he did! How could he be so mean to his wife??????


Do you have a soft spot for cheaters or something 🤨🤔


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

gaius said:


> Well I'm sure your wife could probably recall every detail about everything and everyone in the restaurant the last time you went out Conan. Probably even what brand lightbulbs they used in the lamps. That I can't argue with you about.
> 
> Alright, back to the normal thread. Oh man that guys going to rot hell for what he did! How could he be so mean to his wife??????


If you're going to be a smart ass at least be buying the beer.😉


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

Thank you. Honestly. In 26 years I haven’t seen anything this obvious which is why I brought it up. It was there for many to see.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Diana7 said:


> I disagree. It's a known fact that children thrive and do best in a family with a mum and dad. It's how we are designed to be.
> People cheat because they have no moral values or integrity, not because we aren't made that way.


You can disagreed all you want. It doesn't mean that that changes the reality of this world; neither it implies that children do not thrive in a family with a mum and dad. I don't know were you got that???, I never say that. My point is the biologically humans are not monogamous by nature, nothing else.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> Maybe they were both noticing what was going on.


Yeah, my wife and I do a lot of people watching when we are out together. It can be a lot of fun, lol.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Rob_1 said:


> You can disagreed all you want. It doesn't mean that that changes the reality of this world; neither it implies that children do not thrive in a family with a mum and dad. I don't know were you got that???, I never say that. My point is the biologically humans are not monogamous by nature, nothing else.


I disagree. I think we are. You have your opinion I have mine.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Yeah, my wife and I do a lot of people watching when we are out together. It can be a lot of fun, lol.


Yes we do too.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

In regards to noticing others, for my husband and I, I think it depends on the situation.

If we're at a shopping mall food court or a coffee shop or somewhere we've just popped into to have a quick bite, then I think we'd be more inclined to notice other people.

On a date night, it usually feels like we're the only ones in the restaurant...gushing over one another, hanging on each other's every word, stuff like that, and we don't really pay attention to others around us.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

ConanHub said:


> Mrs. C and I notice things as well. You seem pretty normal to this barbarian.
> 
> I think it's more than a stretch, trying to paint you and your husband negatively for noticing what you did.


The other point -- it is COMPLETELY irrelevant to the discussion that crappy people are trying to cheat while married.
They suck.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

so_sweet said:


> In regards to noticing others, for my husband and I, I think it depends on the situation.
> 
> If we're at a shopping mall food court or a coffee shop or somewhere we've just popped into to have a quick bite, then I think we'd be more inclined to notice other people.
> 
> On a date night, it usually feels like we're the only ones in the restaurant...gushing over one another, hanging on each other's every word, stuff like that, and we don't really pay attention to others around us.


Its pretty hard not to notice when they are literally in your personal space making it totally obvious what they are doing. Not sure how you could NOT notice.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Enigma32 said:


> In my early 20's I used to hang out at the bars all the time. Back then, there were these 2 girls, best friends, who would come to the bar one weekend a month. I used to chat them up because they were attractive, and I occasionally sat and shared drinks with them. One day I decided to get the one girl's phone number after we had gotten to know each other a little. She gave me her number and then explained that her husband was in the Army and she was home alone so she had time to get together. I never knew she was married. I never called her.
> 
> Fast forward maybe 7 years later. I was starting my job as a corrections officer and we had a graduation from academy. During academy, there were a few of us that stuck together and became friends. At graduation, everyone brought their family in, including the guy that was probably my best friend in academy. We ran into each other, he introduced me to his wife, and when she turned around, it was her. She immediately recognized me and I her. We both pretended not to know one another. I know for a fact my friend's wife was cheating on him at the bar while he was fighting overseas. I wasn't the only one to talk her. I never said anything to him.




You have much more integrity than me, in my youth I was the affair partner, if it wasn't me it would have been someone else I used to tell myself.
After understanding the depths of emotion and what love entails though, not sure I can do that anymore.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

Diana7 said:


> Its pretty hard not to notice when they are literally in your personal space making it totally obvious what they are doing. Not sure how you could NOT notice.


Oh, I agree. I was just sharing my experience in my previous post.

Also, maybe I should mention that to hubby and I, "date night" is more special than us simply going to any ol' restaurant to eat. Our date night restaurants have a more intimate setting with seating spaced out, so we don't hear people's conversations or really even notice what others are doing, and even more so because we're focused on each other.


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

Dh and I do both. This was a quick date waiting for kid to finish practice.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

snowbum said:


> Dh and I do both. This was a quick date waiting for kid to finish practice.


Yep, I would have noticed too if I was in the same situation.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

RandomDude said:


> You have much more integrity than me, in my youth I was the affair partner, if it wasn't me it would have been someone else I used to tell myself.
> After understanding the depths of emotion and what love entails though, not sure I can do that anymore.


Don't get the wrong idea about me. I was the AP a few times when I was younger too. In my early 20s, those married women in their 30's wouldn't leave me alone. I had fun with a couple of them. They usually told me some sob story about how mean their husband was or something and I fell for it. I even got into a fight with one of the husbands once. I felt like a hero at the time but now....not so much. The story I told before though, that one just rubbed me the wrong way for some reason. I actually liked her a little.


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## BootsAndJeans (4 mo ago)

SpinyNorman said:


> If you asked me if some people at bars are sleazy I'd have guessed yes. As for taking the time to find out, I'll get to it when I don't have better uses for my time.


Go to a VFW or American Legion bar.....the middle-aged to elderly bar skanks are unbelievable. I joined when I was around 45ish and am not a blue-collar guy at all and earn above average. Went to a game night as part of the dart team. I was hit on by women....none that would be considered attractive without a lot of whisky. I showed my ring more than once and said I was not interested. More than one replied along the lines of, "what she don't know, won't hurt her". I told my buddy I was out of there. Between the cloud of cigarette smoke and the skeaziness, it made me highly uncomfortable.


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

Several months ago.....I am 59 by the way....out to dinner and as a single person I will sit at the bar of a restaurant rather than alone at a table. I sit two chairs down from a gentleman who strikes up a get-to-know-me type conversation, buys me a glass of wine. I notice he has a ring on his finger so I ask him if he is married. He tells me he has been married 7 years and his wife is out of town. He goes on to say that he loves his wife, wants to save his marriage but he does not get enough sex so he cheats. I immediately felt for his wife and was so sickened by his behavior.


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## UAArchangel (2 mo ago)

AVR1962 said:


> Several months ago.....I am 59 by the way....out to dinner and as a single person I will sit at the bar of a restaurant rather than alone at a table. I sit two chairs down from a gentleman who strikes up a get-to-know-me type conversation, buys me a glass of wine. I notice he has a ring on his finger so I ask him if he is married. He tells me he has been married 7 years and his wife is out of town. He goes on to say that he loves his wife, wants to save his marriage but he does not get enough sex so he cheats. I immediately felt for his wife and was so sickened by his behavior.


I really don't get the point of marriage, if you're a carouser.


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

UAArchangel said:


> I really don't get the point of marriage, if you're a carouser.


I don't either and the statement, "I am trying to save my marriage"? He is risking his marriage every time he engages with another woman.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

BootsAndJeans said:


> Go to a VFW or American Legion bar.....the middle-aged to elderly bar skanks are unbelievable. I joined when I was around 45ish and am not a blue-collar guy at all and earn above average. Went to a game night as part of the dart team. I was hit on by women....none thar would be considered attractive without a lot of whisky. I showed my ring more than once and said I was not interested. More than one replied along the lines of, "what she don't know, won't hurt her". I told my buddy I was out of there. Between the cloud of cigarette smoke and the skeaziness, it made me highly uncomfortable.


Sounds like my kind of bar. Dumpy ones are the best!


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

AVR1962 said:


> I immediately felt for his wife and was so sickened by his behavior.


 As do I, after reading about it.


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## gameopoly5 (5 mo ago)

snowbum said:


> So dh and I went out for dinner to favorite local pub. Two younger women (married/engaged) were talking at the bar. Two married guys come in. One tried to take the stool a woman had been sitting in. She comes back and he apologies, starts flirting (very obvious).
> 
> Throughout the dinner he's staring at her repeatedly. Like full on staring and smiling in a creeper way. Not a "good looking woman" peek but repeated checking out vibe.
> 
> ...


I`ve witnessed many incidents like this.
Unless I know the people personally than I have learned to keep my nose out of others business where it`s not wanted and of course (my own quote) the obvious is not always the fact.


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