# For Female's that are LD



## Just Wondering (Dec 20, 2011)

Hello Ladies,I'm a guy wondering whats its like to live with a man with HD? Is there a lot of mental pain from it?Do you have shame from it?Do you ever want to fix it?And what can a HD husband do to make things inprove in the sexual relationship?It seems to me the more space I give my wife for the way things are.The more she takes? Is it something you even care to fix.Do you even see it has a problem? Do you wish things were different? Is it out of your controll?Do you wish you had a LD husband?


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

na they chuckel to themselves that they can get away with being indifferent.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Just Wondering said:


> Do you wish you had a LD husband?


I most definitely believe the majority of them wish this. OH yes. Then when it happens, they will think...darn, he isn't into me anymore. I am even a little guilty of this myself. I guess I got what I deserved. I was lucky, he never let me down. But I did him at one time.


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

The problem is that they rarely think about sex. They are perfectly happy with infrequent sexual relations, and since they don't have a problem, they are not aware of the degree of unhappiness of the HD spouse. I think they would love a LD spouse.

Think about your reaction to being aroused. It starts in your brain, and the feelings go down your spine to your genitals. If arousal never begins in your brain, you are not going to be interested in having sex. It is going to be a chore to have your spouse want to press his/her body against yours. If you are a woman, you will not be lubricated. If you are a man, you will not be able to get or sustain an erection.


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

She's content to have sex a handful of times a year and no more, and as she progresses through menopause she would rather we didn't have sex at all to be honest. She'd rather be spending that time doing more things around the house and for the kids, for her sex is just this thing she know she has to do for me and it's nice-ish (but overall not worth the time).

She does feel sorrow for my pain, and she honestly feels for me. It's because she knows it hurts me that should wishes our libidos were matched (either both HD or LD). To be honest though, I think she'd just prefer if we were both LD or asexual.


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## River1977 (Oct 25, 2010)

Just Wondering said:


> Hello Ladies,I'm a guy wondering whats its like to live with a man with HD? Is there a lot of mental pain from it?Do you have shame from it?Do you ever want to fix it?And what can a HD husband do to make things inprove in the sexual relationship?It seems to me the more space I give my wife for the way things are.The more she takes? Is it something you even care to fix.Do you even see it has a problem? Do you wish things were different? Is it out of your controll?Do you wish you had a LD husband?


I know you are wondering and have all these questions. I don't really think answers people give you are going to help at all because there are lots of reasons women don't want to have sex, but your question is based on HD and LD. There is usually more to it than just that. It may all come out in counseling, and there is where you need to ask these question of your wife, not a bunch of strangers because they don't live your wife's life. They are not your wife and are not in your marriage. No one else has any idea how she feels or what she is going through. Only she can answer you but normally, women themselves are unable to understand or explain. That's the purpose for counseling.

I married young and didn't understand my own feelings or my own resentment. I only knew I didn't want to be sexual with my husband. Years after my divorce, I lived with a guy whom I never turned away from. Whenever he wanted sex, I never said no even though it was the last thing on my mind. Ordinarily, women don't think about sex often like men do. Ordinarily, women are not turned on just by looking at a man and all that. There are other motivating factors for us, and there are many things that affect us libido-wise. You have to get your wife into counseling so she is better able to sort out her feelings.


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## Just Wondering (Dec 20, 2011)

Hey Thanks for your respond.There's not a HD person out there that has not been told this. You know if you would just give me some space about sex,Stop bringing it up,Stop complaining,I promise you it will get better.Then you try it and 3 weeks later.Still no sex.I hate to be Neg. But there's no cure for L.D.


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

Just Wondering said:


> Hey Thanks for your respond.There's not a HD person out there that has not been told this. You know if you would just give me some space about sex,Stop bringing it up,Stop complaining,I promise you it will get better.Then you try it and 3 weeks later.Still no sex.I hate to be Neg. But there's no cure for L.D.


I'm not so sure there's no cure. There are some testimonials here of LD women becoming HD.

My wife and I started seeing a sex therapist, and while we are only a couple of weeks in we are seeing some positive changes already. You can read up on it here if you want: 

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/42686-another-case-hd-ld-married-couple.html 

The part about my ST sessions are near the end. I'm going to keep a running log.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

After you've turned down your man a thousand times for sex, you can't really say you're oblivious. Truer to fact would be to say you are indifferent.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

It's possible. After all it's women who regale us with treatises on how stupendously complex and fragile female sexuality is in the first place. If a butterfly in Indonesia flaps its wings....no sex for you. So to me, hearing someone say "I just woke up one day and was neutered and I don't care, it's your problem" I can believe it. Or at least believe they believe their own bullsh^t if they repeat it long enough. Congratulations! You win.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I can't drop a dirty sock without it hitting my wife's lazer-like attention. She knows if I'm tired. She notices if I come home 10 minutes later than usual. She would notice if I gained a pound or spent $100.00. She notices injuries on my body that I didn't even know I had. She's not inattentive, clueless, or stupid. She's blocked me so often, she ought to be recruited as a lineman for the Rams. There's no way she hasn't picked up on the little secret that her husband likes sex. She denies because she can without suffering ill consequences.


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## Bluemoon1 (Mar 29, 2012)

What an interesting topic, my own take on it is 

There is really no such thing as Low Desire, just not desire for the particular man, how many cases do you hear about a so called low desire women having monkey sex with a new lover!

What I have found is an unwillingness to talk about the issue or try to address the issues at hand, and the complete lack of empathy.

Fact of the matter is, withholding sex is as bad as cheating, it's a betrayal of trust, just as feeding table scrap bad sex is! 

My advice to any man or woman is this situation, give up trying to change your so called Low Desire spouse, work on yourself become the best person you can be, if they still don't want you after all that then you have options (this is what I am doing)


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

Bluemoon1 said:


> There is really no such thing as Low Desire, just not desire for the particular man, how many cases do you hear about a so called low desire women having monkey sex with a new lover!


Not universally true. There are folks who are asexual, some with hormonal issues which kill or lower sexual desire. Fact of the matter is there are any number of reasons why an individual may have consistently low desire for any partner.


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