# Winning your heart



## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

What would it take?

I'm sure we are all very guarded with our hearts right now, but for those of us who are now single again, if someone came along, what would it take for them to win yours?

To those who are hoping to R or are in the process of R, does your spouse still hold your heart or did you take it back? Would you ever give it back to them?


----------



## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

Good question.
Sense of humor, not aggressive, kind-hearted and affectionate, no hidden agenda, gentle and fun, a good listener and talker. Oh a warm and optimistic person, no sarcasm and no anti-social behavior.
Not too much baggage, either.


----------



## Saki (Dec 7, 2011)

Working on R - I took my heart back. 

She asks what she needs to do, and I honestly answer I don't know. All I know is she needs to do something and I am not going to be the one to tell her what it is.

I've got all sorts of ideas on what DOSENT win my heart back, which I know from having the displeasure of experiencing them.

Generally speaking, for me the first step for her is to demonstrate a deep understanding of the pain I've had to endure.

I do think that if R dosent work out, that the next woman won't have to really deal too much with this problem. I firmly believe my WS screwed up, I do not project her actions to all women. However, I'm not in that position right now so I have no idea how I'd really feel.

PS - I am from Iowa too


----------



## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Saki said:


> Working on R - I took my heart back.
> 
> She asks what she needs to do, and I honestly answer I don't know. All I know is she needs to do something and I am not going to be the one to tell her what it is.
> 
> ...


GO HAWKS! :smthumbup:


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Nobody could win my heart right now. 

It's not possible. 

So it would take: a miracle, a volcanic eruption, a solar eclipse, and a magic rabbit hair tossed in a leprechaun's golden pot with a Smurf for that to happen. 

All at the same time, of course. 

But I will say this: I am feeling SO much better these days  Winning! (a la Charlie Sheen)


----------



## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Nobody could win my heart right now.
> 
> It's not possible.
> 
> ...


Glad to hear you are feeling much better these days. I don't know what it would take for me either. I have someone I like, someone I am talking to right now but I know for certain he ain't getting my heart right now. That thing is locked up like Fort Knox right now. Although simply not being an Asshat would be a good start.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Not being an Asshat is a good place to start, Apple!


----------



## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Not being an Asshat is a good place to start, Apple!


It really is  In fact, I have a very strict no asshat policy.


----------



## The 13th_Floor (Mar 7, 2011)

Still at it I see, ladies? Asshats...


----------



## Blindasabat (Nov 29, 2011)

someone who looks like actress rachel bilson (hart of dixie) --- no just kidding!
1)someone who never cheated 
2) shares my spiritual beliefs
thoughts like this are way off from here but those are two starters
Apple how long have you been single maybe too soon to be wondering these things
I know I'm going to take a long time to heal myself before considering dating after the ink dries way too
early to contemplate now.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

The 13th_Floor said:


> Still at it I see, ladies? Asshats...


Still at what?


----------



## The 13th_Floor (Mar 7, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Still at what?


You two trolling each others posts like a chat session and using the word "asshat."


----------



## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Blindasabat said:


> someone who looks like actress rachel bilson (hart of dixie) --- no just kidding!
> 1)someone who never cheated
> 2) shares my spiritual beliefs
> thoughts like this are way off from here but those are two starters
> ...


I'm in no rush to get serious with anyone right now. This is just a general question. Though, I have thought about what would it take for me to actually open up to someone.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

The 13th_Floor said:


> You two trolling each others posts like a chat session and using the word "asshat."


 Trolling like a chat session? I don't think so. I simply post on the threads that pop up.

And "asshat" is def Apple's word. Not mine.

Who peed in your coffee this morning, 13?


----------



## KatiezMomma (Nov 17, 2011)

Its hard to say since so much of my heart is still held by my cheating lying stbxh (hard to believe I know but what can I say after 15 years together). When and if it ever happens for me again, I need someone that can communicate. I also need someone that can see through my bullsh*t, when I get hurt I get stubborn so I need someone that doesn't join me on the ledge but helps talk me down. I want someone effectionate in a way that doesn't consist solely of honking my boob and slapping my ass, I like holding hands and hugs. Someone who doesn't think going out means going to a bar and drinking since I don't drink. And I really want someone who thinks of "us" when making a decision, not just themselves. I am sure that there are lots of men out there that are like that, I just need one that likes tall full figured brunettes that are geeky


----------



## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

The 13th_Floor said:


> You two trolling each others posts like a chat session and using the word "asshat."


Well 13, this is* MY* post and I enjoy the word Asshat.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)




----------



## The 13th_Floor (Mar 7, 2011)

Oh, I get it, neither of you two remember me OR my story. I see how it is. I know both of yours.


----------



## The 13th_Floor (Mar 7, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Trolling like a chat session? I don't think so. I simply post on the threads that pop up.
> 
> And "asshat" is def Apple's word. Not mine.
> 
> Who peed in your coffee this morning, 13?


You both used to take over my posts by talking directly with each other about meeting up and plans for the weekend and I used to give you guys crap about it. 

Who peed in my coffee? Dude, if you dingalings took the time to remember who I was then you'd know I was just kidding.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Dingalings? Okay now it's ON, 13th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 



And I can promise you, I'll never "take over" one of your threads again. You have my word.


----------



## The 13th_Floor (Mar 7, 2011)

Oh wait, that was Lilyana, Paramore and AppleDucklings. See link

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/24850-update-power-my-180-a-2.html


----------



## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

Jelly:

What ever happened to that guy who showed interest in you (if you don't mind me asking)?


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

See, 13th? And here you are trying to start sh!t. I will throw jellybeans at your forehead the next time you try to put my name in something! LOL


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

HerToo said:


> Jelly:
> 
> What ever happened to that guy who showed interest in you (if you don't mind me asking)?


Which one?


----------



## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

The one that you thought was being dishonest. I think it was that he had his profile on a dating site still.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Oh, you mean my ex husband who asked me to move back in with him and told me that he feels like maybe the decision to divorce was rushed and how he's never had an emotional attachment to anyone else like he does with me and how he only got on more dating sites to "make me jealous" while saying he wanted to reconcile? 

Yeah. Him? LOL. 

We are on speaking terms now. He still wants to get back together.


----------



## The 13th_Floor (Mar 7, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> See, 13th? And here you are trying to start sh!t. I will throw jellybeans at your forehead the next time you try to put my name in something! LOL


My bad


----------



## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

The 13th_Floor said:


> My bad


 I sorry for hijacking your thread back then. I do talk to paramore even though she hasn't been on here in awhile now. She's one of my best friends in real life. We knew each other before TAM. I can tell her what a pewpy head she is if you like


----------



## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

HerToo said:


> The one that you thought was being dishonest. I think it was that he had his profile on a dating site still.


That was Apple, not Jelly.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

pidge70 said:


> That was Apple, not Jelly.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Oh yes! I know what Pidge is talking about. JB's ex had a dating profile up as well.


----------



## The 13th_Floor (Mar 7, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> Oh yes! I know what Pidge is talking about. JB's ex had a dating profile up as well.


Was JB's ex the one with an S n M fetish or was that Lilyana, lol.


----------



## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

The 13th_Floor said:


> Was JB's ex the one with an S n M fetish or was that Lilyana, lol.


Lilyana
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------

