# Please encourage me



## Lovetheocean (Oct 10, 2010)

I Finally asked my wife today if she really wants a divorce. She says she dosent know. She moved out about two weeks ago, but, she will come home for a couple of days a week for gym and to get clothes. She's staying at her moms. I also asked if she missed me. She said sometimes. Then I asked if she missed me holding her. She said no. This hurt more than anything I can think of. We have been married 27 years. I know most of them were very good. No one could love each other more than we did! I'm so broken. I don't know what to do. She says she wants to know what its like to be on her own. She just got a job and is going to night school. All the things she didnt do while we were raising 3 kids. Ive been understanding. Im not perfect and have done alot of hurtfull things in the past. I dont know what to say to her anymore. Everything I say and do is wrong. We barely talk. She feels our kids are on my side. Which they are because she has really changed. Like she's going through menopause but she is not according to her doctor. I just need some encouraging words to help me through all this. PLEASE HELP!


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## Lovetheocean (Oct 10, 2010)

Thanks pandakiss. I'm already trying. I've been spending alot more time with my girls 22 and 25 years old. They have kept me going. They have really steped up to the plate. But this really pisses off my wife. She also told me she wishes I had left so she could be with the kids. I know for certain this would not change a thing. They see her as different now and are comforting only me. My oldest daughter even told me today thats shes done with her mother. This is not right. But ofcourse I understand her. She can't understand what her mom is thinking by doing this to me and by being so different to them as well. My daughter says she had a great childhood and knows that I have almost given her mother everything she wants. I told her that material things are ok but she needed more than that from our marriage. I missed so many signs over the years. I could have been so different. Ive always loved her more than anything! As I still do.


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## Lovetheocean (Oct 10, 2010)

Thanks again pandakiss. Am I wrong to think there is still hope when she says she dosent know if she wants a divorce? She says she still loves me and I believe her. But is she just saying that only because of all the years weve been together?


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## Lovetheocean (Oct 10, 2010)

Good advise pandakiss, This monday she moved back. She says "I can't make any promises". When I got home that night she was loving and said she missed me. This was a great night! The next day was just ok. But last night she was still distant to me like before. Had to ask how she felt. Says she still feels the same as before and reminded me she did'nt promise anything. My hopes were smashed again! At least now she's here so I can do whatever I can to show her how much I love her and want to make her happy once again. I need advice more than ever now. I was boring before, and don't want to be anymore. But, I really feel she just dosn't want to spend time with me. What a delema. Ill keep trying and just keep hopeing my actions will bring her back emotionally, phsically... Please continue any and all advice. Thanks to all.


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## marco100 (Nov 25, 2010)

Lovetheocean said:


> Good advise pandakiss, This monday she moved back. She says "I can't make any promises". When I got home that night she was loving and said she missed me. This was a great night! The next day was just ok. But last night she was still distant to me like before. Had to ask how she felt. Says she still feels the same as before and reminded me she did'nt promise anything. My hopes were smashed again! At least now she's here so I can do whatever I can to show her how much I love her and want to make her happy once again. I need advice more than ever now. I was boring before, and don't want to be anymore. But, I really feel she just dosn't want to spend time with me. What a delema. Ill keep trying and just keep hopeing my actions will bring her back emotionally, phsically... Please continue any and all advice. Thanks to all.



Lovetheocean,

You do realize that your wife is involved with another man, don't you?

What do you intend to do about that?

I read some of your past posts. You do realize that things have gone physical with the OM, don't you? The purpose of her moving out for a while was to pursue the physical affair outside of your scrutiny. Something happened and now she's come back to you, as a back up plan. But that's likely very temporary, she's still on the hunt for strange sausage and ultimately will betray you again.

Get divorced.


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