# Queen of Guilt



## ThereToo (Apr 15, 2012)

We met almost 10 years ago,I moved to where she lives though I'm not fond of the city...the things we do for love huh? We became sort of a dysfunctional as the years have gone on as I thought we'd somehow be able to get out of the crazy place...

So after all these years and a couple walkouts...(and returns)...we had another big blowout. As I get ready to line up a moving truck,again she comes with the tears...just to tell me she 'loves' me and how if I leave she'll be stuck alone in a big house etc etc. So of course as apparently susceptible to a woman's tears I begin to once again contemplate returning...to which I state ok I'll come back,then she says 'oh no this is apparently what you want but we can't have anymore contact as it'll just make things harder to get over' etc etc. And ends with 'have a nice life'...

How's that for mind games?...


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Theretoo,

This is one of those patterns that will constantly repeat itself if you don't break it.

You can break it basically in one of two ways.

1 - Go your own way. I assume your not married and that you have no kids since you didn't give that in your background info. This is probably the best solution at this point. I truly believe that there are people (my brother and his Ex-wife are an example) who do love each other but can't live together.

2 - See a relationship/marriage counselor and try to get to the bottom of this issue. If you don't, the pattern will continue to repeat itself.


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

ThereToo:

Not sure if you want advice or if you're just venting.

Advice: Get a moving truck, load it up, move to WHEREVER you want (not just somewhere else in the city that you're not fond of.)
If you have no financial ties (children, jointly-owned property, debt), then you should change your cell phone number and your email address. Get on with a NEW chapter of your life. A peaceful one.

Just wanted to vent: Man, that woman doesn't know WHAT the h*ll she wants!!!!!


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## prisoner84 (Apr 18, 2012)

Sounds like the perfect example of someone who wants only what she doesn't have. (Ex. If you're leaving, she wants you to come back. If you're staying, she wants you to leave.) How bout instead of you doing what she wants, you do what you want?


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## grenville (Sep 21, 2011)

ThereToo said:


> We met almost 10 years ago,I moved to where she lives though I'm not fond of the city...the things we do for love huh? We became sort of a dysfunctional as the years have gone on as I thought we'd somehow be able to get out of the crazy place...
> 
> So after all these years and a couple walkouts...(and returns)...we had another big blowout. As I get ready to line up a moving truck,again she comes with the tears...just to tell me she 'loves' me and how if I leave she'll be stuck alone in a big house etc etc. So of course as apparently susceptible to a woman's tears I begin to once again contemplate returning...to which I state ok I'll come back,then she says 'oh no this is apparently what you want but we can't have anymore contact as it'll just make things harder to get over' etc etc. And ends with 'have a nice life'...
> 
> How's that for mind games?...


I would say that she wants out too but also wants to be able to tell herself that you were the one that ended it. She possibly also wants to be able to tell friends and family that it was you that initiated the breakup. Personally, I'd just let it go. The reality is that it doesn't matter what she thinks and, most of the time, other people really aren't interested in who finally pulled the trigger anyway unless there's some intersting gossip involved (e.g. affairs, physical abuse, etc).


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