# part 3



## M A (Aug 9, 2021)

[Deleted]


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## M A (Aug 9, 2021)

Any comments??


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Married Author said:


> Any comments??


Sure.

Who the hell are you addressing?

I mean all of this paint by numbers stuff is cute and all, yet since all of those who participate on TAM are quite a varied group, who for the most part have been around the block more than once. I wonder what you hope to achieve? By stating the obvious and telling it in a contrived fashion, sprinkled with helpings of the no true Scotsman fallacy, read "real men".

Let us also not forget that it is a misnomer to presume that one size fits all, and that all women actually are responsive to your "instructions" just because many not all have read trash like 50 shades. Or that all men are what you call "real men" (which is contrived nonsense), since men behave in all manner of ways and have different personalities and tendencies in their actions. Plus make no mistake if a man needs to follow instructions on how to start kissing a woman "dominantly", then they probably are not the kind of man who can pull that kind of thing off, or has the inclination to behave that way. Not forgetting since not all women are alike, it would be foolish to think that your way is "the way".

Also as best as I can tell, the lions share of men who participate here on TAM, are in their mid to late thirties, through to their late 60s. And have several sexual relationships behind them. So you are at least several years too late in arriving at the party, to tell men how to kiss their sexual partners.

That said I'm not trying to dissuade you from sharing your thoughts. Yet I do hope you understand, for the most part you're preaching to the wrong audience.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Personal said:


> Sure.
> 
> Who the hell are you addressing?
> 
> ...


This actually reflects much of my own views of the post, too.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

I just assumed the "Married Author" in question was testing out portions of the draft of his book on us. 

Now, who that book's intended audience is, I'm reluctant to hazard a guess. 🤷‍♀️


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Dear Penthouse...


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## M A (Aug 9, 2021)

I think there are many men who would like to try some of this stuff on their wives - but are a bit uncertain.

And I think there are a lot of wives who would secretly love to try it too - but are a bit hesitant to raise it.

That is the reason I am making these posts.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Married Author said:


> I think there are many men who would like to try some of this stuff on their wives - but are a bit uncertain.
> 
> And I think there are a lot of wives who would secretly love to try it too - but are a bit hesitant to raise it.


Maybe you mean teenagers or something? Because if you think there are many married men and women who haven't tried kissing, foreplay and having sex before, you are seriously mistaken.

That said you would also be off the mark with plenty of teenagers as well.


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## M A (Aug 9, 2021)

Actually - this entire series is all about "Dominant" sex. As in Dom-sub type sex. I think a lot of men have not tried this at all.


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## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

I’m not into the dom or sub thing, but my wife loves being picked up, squeezed, and passionately kissed. Always works.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Personal said:


> Dear Penthouse...


More lie Dear Hustler...


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Married Author said:


> I think there are many men who would like to try some of this stuff on their wives - but are a bit uncertain.
> 
> And I think there are a lot of wives who would secretly love to try it too - but are a bit hesitant to raise it.
> 
> That is the reason I am making these posts.


as poorly as the movie was, one easy way is to sit your spouse down, and watch 50 shades of gray. then after that, say "wow, some of that made me kind of hot".......


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Married Author said:


> Any comments??


When I was in a sex starved marriage, my wife told me that she never wanted to have sex with me. She did not want to kiss me, touch me or be touched by me.

Kissing should be a mutual act not a "dominate act by one." The only time kissing would be a dominate act is when that is desired deeply by the person who wants to be kissed.

To regain intimacy and save our marriage a Sex Therapist helped us break years of bad conditioning between us, provided us with Sensate focus exercises and helped us discuss things that had been taboo or too painful to discuss for years. Then we explored a vision of what we wanted in marriage over the next 5 years, 10 years, 20 years.

True dominance requires trust between the partners. Trust is not present in dysfunctional relationships.


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## M A (Aug 9, 2021)

Good point, Young. Totally agree with you. There has to be at least some genuine attraction in order to give this stuff a try.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Married Author said:


> Actually - this entire series is all about "Dominant" sex. As in Dom-sub type sex. I think a lot of men have not tried this at all.


Then try writing about "Dominant" sex. Since all that you have described in your opening post is nothing but some normal pashing.

Which is much the same as the following non-D/s vanilla stuff, that I suggested in another discussion last year.



Personal said:


> *In no particular order:*
> 
> Looking a woman in the eye in a sexually suggestively way.
> 
> ...


That said since you're the one who is trying to school all of us. How old you are, and what experience if any do you actually have of being in D/s relationships?


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## lianahadi (Sep 4, 2021)

Married Author said:


> Actually - this entire series is all about "Dominant" sex. As in Dom-sub type sex. I think a lot of men have not tried this at all.


I agree! There are people out there that have not tried it and assumed it is bad just because it is a little more toward that men have more control. What is so crazy about that? I love when men have the control in the marriage and in the bedroom. It all depends on the taste but people need to stop keep assuming and speak for the others.


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## lianahadi (Sep 4, 2021)

Married Author said:


> It has rightly been said that if a wife has completely lost attraction or respect for her husband, he will find it very difficult to succeed with any of this 'dominance' stuff. If things have sunk to the point of true "contempt", the marriage is in terrible trouble. You can tell by her tone and her attitude whether it is truly this far gone. However, if there is still a spark of attraction present, it is very possible to put a lot of this stuff into practice.
> 
> So what is the best way to get started? Well – it's simple really. You do it by starting small. By no means would we expect men to simply walk into their bedroom and initiate passionate, high-Testosterone sex with no lead-up and no testing of the waters first. Beginning steps are crucial. So how exactly do you get underway with this stuff?
> 
> ...


Amazing article! I love how you teach about the D/S sex life and people should look at this and try it out. I agree with everything you said. Great work you got there. To people have a negative reaction to this, If you haven't tried it, don't talk badly about it because you have no idea how it felt, try it out and then see if you like it or not before assuming something on a trend that you're following.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

lianahadi said:


> Amazing article! I love how you teach about the D/S sex life and people should look at this and try it out. I agree with everything you said. Great work you got there. To people have a negative reaction to this, If you haven't tried it, don't talk badly about it because you have no idea how it felt, try it out and then see if you like it or not before assuming something on a trend that you're following.




I can't help but wonder if shill is one of your favourite words.

That said either you haven't read his post, you're selling the same same crap, and or you have no idea what you're talking about. Since you ought to know that kissing someone against a wall, is not notably dominant behaviour especially in the D/s context.


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