# Hi, I'm new



## bipolarswife (Feb 22, 2008)

I've been married to my one and only husband for 19 years & we have two teenage boys. My husband is a handful, he lies for no reason, speaks negatively about me behind my back so I will have less friends because he doesn't want me paying attention to anybody but him, he puts on a macho veneer but he is very very insecure. Right now my biggest problem is he is losing touch with reality and not thinking logically, I'm sure this is because of his bipolar disorder. He is very very jealous of my best friend and he gets mad when she calls me, and stays mad. I keep waiting for him to snap out of it but he is losing it. I'm very sad about the whole thing.


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## MyKidsMom (Feb 5, 2008)

Wow, could you give us more? I think I better keep my mouth shut. Stay strong....... You and your kids need more. ((HUGS))


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## bipolarswife (Feb 22, 2008)

Well, he basically wants me all to himself but then when he has that he is working on telling me how innadequate I am in every aspect of my life. He wants total control and somehow it seems he thinks being mean or mad at me will make me get closer to him? Last time he got mad that my friend called I kept the phone call short, hung up, and then went to him and asked him if he wanted to talk, he said "not anymore" in a very mean tone, I approached him again 2 other times that evening and he rebuffed me.....so I'm thinking why didn't I just stay on the phone with my friend? That evening I snuggled up next to him in bed and he just pushed me away quite swiftly, he was still furious. This same jealousy will happen if I spend time with even our dogs or our kids! I really think it's all about the bipolar because then he will go through periods where he is just wonderful and life is awesome. It's like he is two different people and the p doc even suggested a possible dissociative disorder, which is more commonly know as "split personality", this would be on top of the bipolar and narcissism. He is handsome,charming, and very successful, making well into 7 figures a year. The money masks a lot of the problems, people are just so charmed and impressed with someone who seems to have it all, if they only knew. Basically when he is good he is very very good and when he is bad he is horrid. The problem is I can see his mind is deteriorating and I don't think there is anything I can do about it and I'm having a very hard time coping with it.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

He is verbally abusing you as a way to control you.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/360-verbal-abuse-thesis.html

draconis


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## bipolarswife (Feb 22, 2008)

I know, I'm just not sure what to do about it. I try to talk to him but he is very unreasonable. He gets mad for days because I answer the telephone and talk to a friend? He won't listen to reason and doesn't think logically. Right now being with him is eerie, he is not completely sane. He has accused me of having an affair with my best friend, as in lesbian sex, I just feel sick about it all.


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## mollyL (Dec 31, 2007)

Firstly, and most importantly, your husband must be on medication as your post implies; has he been taking his meds? This is very important with bi-polar folk. If you know he has been taking them, then it's time to call his doc and tell him what you have told us. He sounds like it is time for a reevaluation and med adjustments!


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## bipolarswife (Feb 22, 2008)

He's in the process of switching meds_ because _of this. He is almost weaned off the one and completely on the other. It doesn't seem to be helping his logic though. He is less depressed and not manic which might be all we can get out of a medication. Either that or we'll give this one a couple of weeks and try another yet again. It's the lack of logical thinking that I fear no med can fix. This might be as good as it gets which is pretty depressing and really worries me. Thanks for listening.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

bipolarswife said:


> He's in the process of switching meds_ because _of this. He is almost weaned off the one and completely on the other. It doesn't seem to be helping his logic though. He is less depressed and not manic which might be all we can get out of a medication. Either that or we'll give this one a couple of weeks and try another yet again. It's the lack of logical thinking that I fear no med can fix. This might be as good as it gets which is pretty depressing and really worries me. Thanks for listening.


Try to figure out what you can put up with. Personally I know I would have issues with this myself. You seem to be a strong person don't let his ways break you.

draconis


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