# Why my wife doesn’t ask me to perform oral sex on her?



## Clear Blue Water (Sep 16, 2012)

I have a very happy sex relation with my wife but there have been many occasions that I had to ask her to perform oral sex on her. I mean, that is something that I love to receive it and I ask for it with no problem. I don’t think there is a problem with the way I do it; she’s able to fly until her climax. I just want her to ask me to do it. I found myself the majority of time asking her to perform it instead of her asking me. I asked her directly and she is not able to give a concrete answer. I just want to hear it from her. Is there something I’m doing wrong?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Why do you need her permission if you know she enjoys it?


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## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> Why do you need her permission if you know she enjoys it?


He doesn't want permission. It's more of a sexual turn-on to hear it from her. I get where he's coming from. My wife NEVER instigated sex in our 21 years. And never ever asked me to do anything. I wish she had. Maybe we'd still have a relationship. But honestly, I just got freakin' tired of always being the one.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Ah, I see. Personally if I want to see my wife crave for oral I simply tease her down there and refuse to do anything until she can't take the tease anymore. It doesn't take long before she throws herself at me feet first, but that's just me.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Clear Blue Water said:


> I have a very happy sex relation with my wife but there have been many occasions that I had to ask her to perform oral sex on her. I mean, that is something that I love to receive it and I ask for it with no problem. I don’t think there is a problem with the way I do it; she’s able to fly until her climax. I just want her to ask me to do it. I found myself the majority of time asking her to perform it instead of her asking me. I asked her directly and she is not able to give a concrete answer. I just want to hear it from her. Is there something I’m doing wrong?


Some women (and men, for that matter) think of oral sex as "dirty". Will she kiss you after you've been down there? 

C


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Do not " ask " your wife to perform oral on her.

Just do it.

She is apprehensive about how she will taste , smell etc.
[Some women are very conscious about it ]

Work your way down slowly taking time to fully arouse her

Use your fingers, stimulate her down there, just east your index finger into her , look her into the eyes, and taste her juices off your finger.
She will understand, and let you give it to her.


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

My wife does not initiate any part of our sex life, albeit the first move or a suggestion during. At times, she has, but that is very rare. I usually don't wait for her to make any first moves, anyway, but I do get what the OP is saying. 

It would be nice and a turn-on if my wife said something to me to do to her or just grabbed me by the ears and shives my face down there. 

A lot of women are just quiter about sex and let their husbands do all of the initiating. Not the end of the world, as long as it is happening and both of you are feeling good from it.


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## Horsa (Jun 27, 2012)

My wife never asked me to perform oral on her. I knew she loved it when I did, and she didn't mind kissing me after that. As I always kiss her after she gave me oral. I still gave her oral sometimes, although I too wished that she would ask me for it or just move my head down there.


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## Diolay (Jan 25, 2012)

There are really some women who don't like the oral sex thing. Do you think your wife could be one of those ppl?


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

I cant speak for your wife, of course, but receiving oral is not something I personally crave. Its not that I dont enjoy it. (though my first husband was AWFUL at it and I avoided it at all costs!) I have had partners who were very good at it, but it isnt something I have ever HAD to have. Maybe just tell her that it would make you crazy for her to ask for it. If my partner would tell me that, I would make sure to do it, just for him.  Or maybe instead of asking you for it, she could just come up and straddle your chest and "make" you do it! Some women are more comfortable with actions than words.


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## Clear Blue Water (Sep 16, 2012)

BeachGuy said:


> He doesn't want permission. It's more of a sexual turn-on to hear it from her. I get where he's coming from. My wife NEVER instigated sex in our 21 years. And never ever asked me to do anything. I wish she had. Maybe we'd still have a relationship. But honestly, I just got freakin' tired of always being the one.


Im sorry BeachGuy, I hope this wasnt the only reason why you made that desicion of end your relationship. Im just trying to understand what is on my wife minds. She able to kiss me after Im done down there and I let her know that I love the flavor of it. May I should forget it and just do it with out specting from her to ask for it.


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## Clear Blue Water (Sep 16, 2012)

3Xacharm said:


> I cant speak for your wife, of course, but receiving oral is not something I personally crave. Its not that I dont enjoy it. (though my first husband was AWFUL at it and I avoided it at all costs!) I have had partners who were very good at it, but it isnt something I have ever HAD to have. Maybe just tell her that it would make you crazy for her to ask for it. If my partner would tell me that, I would make sure to do it, just for him.  Or maybe instead of asking you for it, she could just come up and straddle your chest and "make" you do it! Some women are more comfortable with actions than words.


I like the idea of just actions, but I have found myself in sometimes just go and taking control to do it and she will say that she doesn’t feel like at the moment or maybe she doesn’t now it is very very clean for my tastes. I mean, I know the taste, I have never tell here that something is wrong with the taste. She doesn’t have to worry I will let her know if something wrong and still she will stop me.


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## aribabe (Aug 9, 2012)

A lot of (most of, imo) women aren't naturally sexually aggressive. Especially since most ladies grow up and date being the pursued instead of the pursuer. But i think that if you act submissive towards someone, that person usually ends up acting a least a bit more dominant.

So i think if you want to wife to be more dominant in regards to oral, you should behave more submissively. I know that can be a tad difficult for a guy to do, since it's not really the norm.

But the first thing to do would be to change the way you ask her. Instead of saying "can i give you oral?" say something like (kinda graphic) "I love being between your legs satisfying you, it turns me on so much, please tell me i can do that for you." That sort of put's the power in her hands and you can eventually work your way to saying "i love it when you tell me lick you."

Also, change the way you give her oral. If you give it in a dominant position now, her on her back. The try giving in a more submissive position, her in a chair you on your knees. Again, it gives her the power and a bit more control.

You may never get her to outright ask you give her oral, especially if she's very shy naturally. But you can get close to that and help her feel more sexually powerful/dominant.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Men want women to ask for oral? Wow I had no idea, is this common? My guy just does it, he is fantastic at it and I always kiss him afterwards. Now I am wondering if it would be a turn on or off for him if I asked for it.


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## CarrWalterl (Sep 17, 2012)

It doesn't take long before she throws herself at me feet first, but that's just me


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## olwhatsisname (Dec 5, 2012)

It seems life happens while we discuss important issues, and fail to talk of the love we have for you in a straight ahead manner . talk of all the little things we find important.


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## Ano (Jun 7, 2012)

*Re: Why my wife doesn’t ask me to perform oral sex on her?*

Dead thread


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## Stuckinrut (Feb 24, 2013)

Clean Blue...I love giving oral to my W but she hates it and doesnt even allow it anymore. I would not ask and just keep doing it if she enjoys it and be thankful!


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

My wife wears a special pair of "black swirl" panties when she wants a sensual massage ending with a happy (oral) ending. Other than that, it is usually myself that initiates the oral kissing on her lovely body. Many times I just crave going down into her erotic triangle, so I give her a fantastic foot rub, sensually tease her calves, lightly stroke her thighs, and slowly work my way up to that heavenly spot that I love and crave. 

Overall, I would say that my wife has never been very comfortable directly asking for what she wants sexually...she feels that good girls don't talk about it or ask for sex. She had a very religious upbringing. We have talked about this for years....but she is still "shy" at 49 years old.


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