# Young sexless married couple



## gsm (Jun 27, 2008)

We are both 23. When we dated we would have sex all the time and many times more than once a day. Now, however I'm lucky if we have sex 1 or 2 times a week. It is really strange to me because normally the male has the most sex drive, yet for us, my husband has the lower sex drive after the marriage. 

We dated for about 6 months before we got married and have been married for 2.5 years now. I have always talked about this with my husband and he says he will try harder and that many times if we argue, etc (even after we have talked) gets him out of the mode. But even on days (most) which we don't argue and have a great time, still no sex. I always have to initialize and he never tries like he says he will. He used to have no problem before until about 1 year into our marriage. 

We spend all our time together always (except for work, but we have same work hours). I'm just really done with trying, and sometimes want to go get satisfied somewhere else, but I don't want to be unfaithful to my husband and I know I wouldn't be able to pull through with it as I'm not that kind of person.

Sex isn't the most important thing to me but is pretty high in my list and I am starting to really see if I am happy in our relationship or not because when we do have sex, i always initialize, and many times when I get initialized I get excited, then I get nothing so was a waste of time.

I've talked to my husband about this millions of times and yet no positive outcome has happened. We are both very open with each other and communicate anything and not afraid to tell each other anything.

I just don't know what else to do.


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## Jarlet20 (May 21, 2010)

Well GSM,
Not sure if I would be the right person to give you advice since I am in the same boat as you. I am also 23 my husband is 25 we dated for 7 years before getting married and didn't live together until we got married. We started having sex when I was 18 so that gives it about 5 years that we've been active and he was my first. I tell you all of this because I don't want you to feel like you are alone. My husband and I only have sex maybe once or twice a week, he does not initiate it either and sometimes even when we are into it his Penus shrinks inside me. This has made me feel very ugly, unwanted and alone and even at times just like you I think about being unfaithful. I know I have gotten a lot of advice from people here, and most of them ask the same question...(have you tries spicing it up?) so I ask you the same? Maybe he is watching porn? Have you asked him about that? I know it gets annoying always trying to get them started but my best advice to you is DON'T GIVE UP ON YOUR MARRIAGE! Instead look deeper into it, you may have a great communication with him but he may not be completely honest with you. Maybe he wants you to do more crazy things in bed. What have you tried to do different?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Just some thoughts to consider... Could be a *Hormonal issue *-very rare at these young ages, but it can still happen - alot of stress at work/ lack of sleep, testosterone decline ?

*Attraction issue *-any changes in your appearance since married - addiction to porn clouding husband's reality, 

or *Relationship issue *-any resentment buildup over other problems outside the bedroom not resolved? 

Possible embarrasment over loosing erections - one bout of this could lead to "performance pressure" -which is very difficult for some men to overcome & talk about. 

Is he masterbating off by himself to porn? That is the question, if he is, he still has a decent sex drive, but he needs to be saving it FOR YOU alone. If he is not, could seriously be stress related, or hormonal. Get him checked.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

gsm said:


> I'm just really done with trying,


you're on the right track if you are giving up trying to change him. His lack of sex drive could be a lot of things. but he's the only one that can do anything about it. if he's not trying to find the problem, then you have your answer. He's not going to change. He doesnt want to. You have to decide what you want to do with that.


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## rahul.kumar (Feb 13, 2011)

Dear,

I am a man and I know very well, spice up your sex life..do more in your sexual life.. do more *****y make up.. do more at bed. That can only increase love between you...Take advice of your husband.. that what way he likes to doing sex.. it will surely help you..people get bored doing same and same thing and that is also true with sex.


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