# My blood is boiling



## OrangeCrayon (Jul 13, 2015)

Ugh. So my soon-to-be ex (he’s had two affairs in two years) came over to see the kids today. When he got here, he told me he wanted to talk tonight. Said he’d been thinking and wanted to talk to me about trying to fix our marriage again. I didn’t respond. Just walked away. 

Well, he left his cell in the kitchen while he was outside with the kids. Wouldn’t you know, after a while, a slew of messages started showing up on his phone from the coworker he swore he wasn’t having an affair with ...

“I miss you. Can’t wait to slap that a$$! Found a place we HAVE to go to!” etc ...

I’m so angry and disgusted that it’s actially making me nauseous. I can’t wait to get to the point where I truly don’t care anymore.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

OrangeCrayon said:


> Ugh. So my soon-to-be ex (he’s had two affairs in two years) came over to see the kids today. When he got here, he told me he wanted to talk tonight. Said he’d been thinking and wanted to talk to me about trying to fix our marriage again. I didn’t respond. Just walked away.
> 
> Well, he left his cell in the kitchen while he was outside with the kids. Wouldn’t you know, after a while, a slew of messages started showing up on his phone from the coworker he swore he wasn’t having an affair with ...
> 
> ...




Sounds like your there.

This guy will take advantage of anybody he come accross.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

Why did you think he'd change?
Thank goodness you saw the truth on his phone.

So just tell him "no" and carry on.


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## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

Bullsh*t is what bullsh*t does.

So now you have direct confirmation post split his words mean nothing. Blood boiling is good, get angry and remember this anger when he tries to sweet talk or try to alter any progress you make for yourself.

Stay the course and do whatever you have to do to better yourself and your life moving forward.


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## FrazzledSadHusband (Jul 3, 2014)

I would have been to tempted to text back on his phone something to the effect of "Please take a shower before I come over, your P has been awfully sour lately.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

One of the major concepts that people say on the 'Chumplady" website is, "trust that they suck."

That is an important concept for you to grasp and take to heart in order for you to heal and move forward. 

Right now a part of you is still wanting to listen to his Siren Song and you still have some hope in you that this is all a mistake and that he will wake up one day and his mind will clear and he will realize how wonderful you and the kids are he will come crawling back and fulfil all of his promises of a faithful and dutiful life together.

You are still at least somewhat addiction to Hopium and every time he says something or makes a promise, you are taking a hit of Hopium and that resets the addiction and so it continues. 

If you can trust that he sucks, then you can break the addiction, realize that there is no hope and then you can heal and move forward with your own life. 

Trust that he sucks. He hasn't let you down in that regard yet so have faith in his sucktitude.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

FrazzledSadHusband said:


> I would have been to tempted to text back on his phone something to the effect of "Please take a shower before I come over, your P has been awfully sour lately.


That's awesome!

Another good one to text would be to tell her he has been having fantasies of getting his butt pegged by a hidden huge dildo by suprise in the middle of sex without warning LOL


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Yes,

And tell him, you too, would like to slap his ass when he comes around.

Slap it with a two x four with a nail stuck out at the end of one side.

The side that slaps against the lying stinking meat that is him, he, this ass.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

OrangeCrayon said:


> Ugh. So my soon-to-be ex (he’s had two affairs in two years) came over to see the kids today. When he got here, he told me he wanted to talk tonight. Said he’d been thinking and wanted to talk to me about trying to fix our marriage again. *I didn’t respond. Just walked away. *
> 
> Well, he left his cell in the kitchen while he was outside with the kids. Wouldn’t you know, after a while, a slew of messages started showing up on his phone from the coworker he swore he wasn’t having an affair with ...
> 
> ...


Perfect response is no response.

If you expect anything more than a lying cheater you'll just set yourself up for constant dissapointment.


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

OrangeCrayon said:


> Ugh. So my soon-to-be ex (he’s had two affairs in two years) came over to see the kids today. When he got here, he told me he wanted to talk tonight. Said he’d been thinking and wanted to talk to me about trying to fix our marriage again. I didn’t respond. Just walked away.
> 
> Well, he left his cell in the kitchen while he was outside with the kids. Wouldn’t you know, after a while, a slew of messages started showing up on his phone from the coworker he swore he wasn’t having an affair with ...
> 
> ...


He is trash..... kick his ass to the curb. He was a sperm doner.... but when you met him,

he was all bandaged up 'n /handsome/ .... Then.... his bandages fell off, one by one by two by four

Egh... you overlooked it, you're M, kids.... dug in, wanted it to work. Obviously.... you showed up and

he didn't. Looking back... you should've walked.... good while back. We ALL are guilty of that.

Ya should've smacked his ass as he was leaving, "Maybe if I smacked dat ass like your

trollop does, ya wouldn'ta cheated."

Then slam the door in his face.

See a lawyer Monday....


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

This all sounds like pure ego to me. He doesn't like to lose. He doesn't want to be a loser husband or dad or boyfriend or ass slapper. He'll hang on to things just because it will mean that he hasn't lost it. This includes you, sadly.

And you can be forgiven for perking up a bit when he seems to be 'seeing the light.' That gives a boost to your ego, however fleeting.

To me, the ultimate ego stroke would be to permanently show him the door, since he is the loser and you are not.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

OrangeCrayon said:


> I can’t wait to get to the point where I truly don’t care anymore.


I'll take another tidbit from Chumplady. 


The day you won't care anymore will be on Tuesday - I just don't know which Tuesday, but it will come.


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## VibrantWings (Sep 8, 2017)

FrazzledSadHusband said:


> I would have been to tempted to text back on his phone something to the effect of "Please take a shower before I come over, your P has been awfully sour lately.





oldshirt said:


> That's awesome!
> 
> Another good one to text would be to tell her he has been having fantasies of getting his butt pegged by a hidden huge dildo by suprise in the middle of sex without warning LOL


Lol, I like how Frazzled thinks'

Question to the OP: Did you text her back or ask your husband about the texts?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Can you arrange it so that you dont need to see him much? So he collects the children but doesn't seem them at your place or come in? 
I think it was good that you saw that text, it confirmed what he is. 
I suspect the affair is loosing its excitement.


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## OrangeCrayon (Jul 13, 2015)

Y’all are CRACKING ME UP with these posts ... THANK YOU! ? I needed a good laugh. 

For medical reasons, I have to supervise when he’s with the kids. I often leave the room or sit outside. 

And no - I didn’t respond. In hindsight, I should have! Lol I did confront him about them, though. Before he left, he asked if he could talk to me about fixing our relationship. I told him no and asked him about his relationship with the OW. He denied having any relationship. Said he doesn’t talk to her. Luckily, I took photos on my phone and showed him. He tried to blame it on me. Said I was very cold during our son’s illness and he was stressed at work - he reached out to her for stress relief and to feel alive. 

A$$hole.


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## VibrantWings (Sep 8, 2017)

OrangeCrayon said:


> Y’all are CRACKING ME UP with these posts ... THANK YOU! ? I needed a good laugh.
> 
> For medical reasons, I have to supervise when he’s with the kids. I often leave the room or sit outside.
> 
> ...


Don't forget piece of ****


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## OrangeCrayon (Jul 13, 2015)

I had typos - I took photos of the texts as they were coming in.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

(Sarcasm ahead!)And of course he just had to lie to to you about her when you asked.

That must have been your fault too!(Sarcasm off now)

Personally I recommend you don't respond on his phone. That might be seen by others, when he invariably brings it up to everyone and their dog, as an infringement since you two are going in different directions. But it sure is fun to think about, I agree with that.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

FrazzledSadHusband said:


> I would have been to tempted to text back on his phone something to the effect of "Please take a shower before I come over, your P has been awfully sour lately.





oldshirt said:


> That's awesome!
> 
> Another good one to text would be to tell her he has been having fantasies of getting his butt pegged by a hidden huge dildo by suprise in the middle of sex without warning LOL


:rofl: :rofl:


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

OrangeCrayon said:


> . Before he left, he asked if he could talk to me about fixing our relationship. I told him no and asked him about his relationship with the OW. He denied having any relationship. Said he doesn’t talk to her. Luckily, I took photos on my phone and showed him. He tried to blame it on me. Said I was very cold during our son’s illness and he was stressed at work - he reached out to her for stress relief and to feel alive.


Trust that he sucks.


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

OrangeCrayon said:


> He denied having any relationship. Said he doesn’t talk to her. *Luckily, I took photos on my phone and showed him.* He tried to blame it on me. Said I was very cold during our son’s illness and he was stressed at work - he reached out to her for stress relief and to feel alive.
> 
> A$$hole.


He lied and when caught blamed you. Both reasons to not give him another chance.

Smart girl to take pictures!!


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

OrangeCrayon said:


> Y’all are CRACKING ME UP with these posts ... THANK YOU! ? I needed a good laugh.
> 
> For medical reasons, I have to supervise when he’s with the kids. I often leave the room or sit outside.
> 
> ...


Is it possible for someone else to supervise his time with the children? Maybe a family member of his or yours? Or friend? In the uk social services can sometimes organise this. 

So he lies again and then blames you, yeh right. :frown2:


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