# Wife going to strip club



## debatable (Jun 19, 2015)

Let me set the stage here:

My wife has been unemployed for the past year, and has struggled with serious depression (and refused to get any help for it). She has made no effort to try to get work, and instead sleeps all day, and is up all night, and has for all intents and purposes become a functioning alcoholic. I'm working tirelessly to try to make ends meet financially, while she doesn't lift a finger to help.

My wife's "best" friend, is a 25 year old lesbian. This past Friday, upon my showing up at the house after work, Chris arrived at our house, within an hour. Chris spent the night at our house in our spare bedroom on Friday night. Spent the night on Saturday night. Spent the night on Sunday night. All the while, she talked about how she was going to quit her job on Monday. I was seriously concerned that she had plans on just moving into my house, with no place else to go. I voiced my concerns to a friend of mine, who verbally slapped me across the face by saying, "How do you not see this? She already HAS moved into your house, and now you're supporting her too!"

Monday evening, after talking with my wife about the fact that Chris needed to go, Chris wound up leaving. However, my wife became furious that I had discussed the situation with a friend of mine. So because she was so mad, my wife wasn't home when I got home from work yesterday, and didn't come home until the early hours of the morning (around 2 AM). When I pulled up the bank account, I see that she and Chris had gone to a local strip club together. 

Here's my concern:

1. Chris' "thing" is to try to get with married women. She regularly speaks of her "conquests" and I'm genuinely concerned that she has set her sights on my wife.

2. I don't necessarily have a problem with a "girls night out" or even going to the strip club for that matter. Where it bothers me is going under anger, and going specifically because you're upset with me.

How should I respond to this (if at all)? At this point, my wife doesn't know that I'm aware that they went to the strip club last night.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

You need to take control of your life. You are the problem here. Your wife is secondary.


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

Debateable,

If a guy took your W to a strip club you would beat him down and bust him to his wife.

Find out the identities of all these married ladies this woman has slept with and bust them to their husbands.

This woman has no place in your marriage, and face it your W has already had sex with her.

Tamat


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## mmik87 (Nov 14, 2015)

Tamat what makes you think that they have had sex ? They can be mates and it's way better that it's a chick n not a dude !


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## Ol'Pal (Aug 24, 2015)

TAMAT said:


> Debateable,
> and face it your W has already had sex with her.
> 
> Tamat


Right or wrong, This was my 1st thought also.


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## mmik87 (Nov 14, 2015)

Ol'Pal said:


> Right or wrong, This was my 1st thought also.


Bit harsh I think


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## debatable (Jun 19, 2015)

That was my first thought as well.

I raised the question with my wife this afternoon about where she went. The initial response was "Out." When I pressed the issue, I was finally told "Coyote Ugly," which obviously isn't true given the bank account (or at a minimum, isn't the ONLY place that was gone to).


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

debatable,

This friend is no friend of your marriage, and needs to be disposed of, from what you wrote I would guess she is a parasite who moves from person to person leaving a wake of destruction. She will get your W to spend lots of money on her and put you in debt. You need to take action. 

Tamat


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## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

Do you have kids? If not, ditch the parasite and choose more wisely next time.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

What you need to do is go back to your friend and have him slap you again and this time you might wake up 
Look. She wont help herself and she's doing everything but kicking sand in your face so friend you better start taking the bull by the horns and let her know that she has a choice. Get help, start acting like a wife or take off with her friend and let her know that once she's out the door, there's no turning back. Tell her in a way tat she understands your dead serious. Either that or the friend moves in and your the one bounced.


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

Tamat is right about chris not being a friend of the marriage. When I was married I did not allow a personal friendship for myself if they were not first and foremost a friend of the marriage. They could dislike my wife, but they had to support my marriage.


Looking back I see I missed a huge red flag when her closet friends who supported our marriage faded from her life and were replaced by those who did not. Only in hindsight I could ser the type of people they were.

Chris is easier to spot then a $3.00 bill, I said a three dollar bill. Drive her out of your home. If you live in Fl look into Bakker act her. Not easy to do, but your description warrants the effort.


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

You are so close to this that you dont see that this is very disturbing on several levels that you should have acted on already.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Gonecrazy (Oct 12, 2014)

Debatable,

I want to slap you across the face. In my opinion the problem here is not your wife or her lesbian lover (yes, that's what I think), it's you. Going from what you have written I feel that you have no self worth. I have arrived at this conclusion because I believe that in marriage, two people should be contributing to the marriage as equally as reasonably possible. She is not bringing any money into the house hold, is an alcoholic, and has depression. Does she do all the house work, shopping, bill paying? You would not accept this arrangement if you were an empowered man. Women who make their men's lives misery don't love them, but use them.

She is lying to you, INVITED a lesbian into YOUR HOME (you're the one making the coin), and went to a strip club with her. I'm sure I don't need to spell it out for you mate. I would not give her another chance at all. Too disrespectful, too lazy, too etc etc. I would plant some recording devices in you home for when you go to work. Don't be surprised if you find a lesbian porno on them. Then you will have all you need to make your self a positive life change.

Good luck my friend.
Gonecrazy


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Strip club = male review or women strippers?

The woman is seriously toxic. DO NOT make any accusations. If you get red flags investigate QUIETLY.

Not enough info as to whether your wife has had an affair. Her friend seems to be a predator player. It does not matter she is female.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

She's lying to you about going out to a strip club with a lesbian friend who has a long history of bedding married women.

Do we need to draw you a map?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

debatable said:


> Let me set the stage here:
> 
> My wife has been unemployed for the past year, and has struggled with serious depression (and refused to get any help for it). She has made no effort to try to get work, and instead sleeps all day, and is up all night, and has for all intents and purposes become a functioning alcoholic. I'm working tirelessly to try to make ends meet financially, while she doesn't lift a finger to help.
> 
> ...


What should you do? Wake the hell up....news flash my friend....your wife does NOT care if you know. That is a problem----but not even the worst one. 

She doesn't work...drinks...brings a lesbian "friend" to stay at your house....is this the life you want? Is this the man you want to be?

If this is what you want and who you want to be...by all means -stay the course and do nothing. 

The main problem seems to be that your wife has ZERo regard for you at all. if I were you (careful though...because I'm pretty much an ass)...I would just leave....for about 6 months...long enough for her to feel the poverty..really get an idea of how much you support her..after that time...if I wasn't enjoying myself too much...I might give her a call.


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## debatable (Jun 19, 2015)

So an update on things:

When I confronted my wife about the strip club, she predictably was hung up on the fact that I went through her bank account and I broke her trust, etc. After seeing that I wasn't going along with her thinking on that, she moved on to making comments such as "I bet you're turned on that I went there. You're such a fu&$ing pervert. You're such a creep..." Which is fabulous logic, that she goes to a strip club behind my back and then tries to give me sh&t about it!

We had been scheduled to travel out of state to visit my family for Thanksgiving. When all of this went down, I fully expected her to start trying to back out of that. She didn't disappoint! First I got a song a a dance about how the dog was sick and she should really stay behind and watch him. Then it moved on to her being sick and she didn't think she should go. Given how she was acting, I wasn't really planning on fighting it, since I needed a break from her anyway. I left yesterday morning, and less than 12 hours later, I started getting text messages about how she's suddenly feeling better and she's wants to go to Las Vegas for the weekend with Chris to "have fun." 

Then we get to the really bold statement...."if I can just go to Las Vegas and have fun this weekend, when we both get back on Sunday night, I will forgive you for breaking my trust last week (for looking at my bank account) and we can start fresh." I can't help but laugh at the audacity of such a statement and that it is apparently said in all seriousness!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Chris has been successful with you wife.

Now...what are you going to do about it?

Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk


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## syhoybenden (Feb 21, 2013)

Tell her to stay in Vegas. Maybe get a job there. There's some place, I think it's called the Bunny Ranch, who might be hiring.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

OP, your wife going to the strip club should have been the final nail in the coffin. 

Your wife is depressed and refuses treatment. Full stop. There is only one way to go when a spouse is depressed and refuses treatment and that is progressively down hill not only destroying the marriage but other relationships and financial stability as well. For a full year your wife has continued to sink lower and lower into a bottomless pit of disconnect from ration and reason and while you could not force her into therapy, you could have NOT enabled her.

You can use her current behavior as reasons to give to her or not but what you should do is make plans to divorce. Don't bargain, don't threaten, don't reason, just make plans to divorce. You cannot save a person who does not wish to be saved. 

Whether she lied, slept with her friend, or plans to have a girl orgy in Vegas it doesn't matter. Your marriage is over. Her depression won. Time to save yourself.


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## Muse1976 (Apr 25, 2015)

Anon Pink said:


> OP, your wife going to the strip club should have been the final nail in the coffin.
> 
> Your wife is depressed and refuses treatment. Full stop. There is only one way to go when a spouse is depressed and refuses treatment and that is progressively down hill not only destroying the marriage but other relationships and financial stability as well. For a full year your wife has continued to sink lower and lower into a bottomless pit of disconnect from ration and reason and while you could not force her into therapy, you could have NOT enabled her.
> 
> ...


A-freaking-men! Anon

You now have about a 99.9999% chance of being in the betrayed spouses club. What are you going to do about it. 

I suggest immediately filing and having her as* served. Don't back down, don't let up. 

I'm sorry you're here.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

Before Christmas she will be working in a strip clubs and blowing guys in a back room or in the parking lot. She and Chris will be the soulmate of the month. 

She will claim it is your fault for not loving her and supporting her enough. At first she will have a lot of cash but quickly will be so deep into drugs that by the time she leaves the club, she will have less cash then she started the day with. I have met two guys who went though this.

You need read up on tough love and plan your exit from her.


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

Bye the way, where is the money coming from for her trip.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

debatable said:


> I left yesterday morning, and less than 12 hours later, I started getting text messages about how she's suddenly feeling better and she's wants to go to Las Vegas for the weekend with Chris to "have fun."
> 
> Then we get to the really bold statement...."if I can just go to Las Vegas and have fun this weekend, when we both get back on Sunday night, I will forgive you for breaking my trust last week (for looking at my bank account) and we can start fresh." I can't help but laugh at the audacity of such a statement and that it is apparently said in all seriousness!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


WOW. Stick a fork in it, Debatable, this marriage is DONE. I laughed out loud at that last part, her telling her she will forgive YOU! Tell her to go home to mom and file for divorce.


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## Space Mountain (Jul 19, 2015)

JohnA said:


> Bye the way, where is the money coming from for her trip.


Debatable,

I agree with JohnA. Secure your finances ASAP. I would not foot the bill for a Vegas trip. If she wants to go to Vegas, she can pay for it.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

You can't nice your way out of this so don't try.

Protect your self!

Think about it...what do you really have control of?

Not your wife.....but you can control your financial well being by protecting your self.....what is your wife going to do????? get pissed and be with someone else???

Oh wait that already happened.


Sorry man your old lady is going to take you to the cleaner if you don't act now.


Back in the day there weren't sites like this and betrayed spouse didn't have the resource they have now...so please listen...we are here for a reason!!!


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Your old lady could drop a grand at the craps table and drop another grand letting her friend play too....bam you are out 2 grand on the table games $500 on a room and room service and maybe another grand on shopping...

I know I've been there!!!!

Maybe you don't have $3500.00 in the bank.....but what every you do have figure on losing it...at best they get a room for $50, drop $200 on the table games and what ever is left they dumb on the slots. 

One can easily drop $500 in just a Friday night in Vegas.

I can bet she will need gas money to get home!!! And call you for it.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

It's bad enough your old lady is phucking around......but she is doing it were she can gamble your bank account away!


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Look at it this way....how much did she drop at one night at the local strip club?

Now times that by ten!


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

What about your credit cards?

OP you have a lot more on your plate then your wife switching teams!


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

My best advice to you is cut your wife off, shut off the utilities and tell you are not coming home.

Her best friend will be satisfied that she ruined another marriage, all the funds will be gone and this user will find another friend. Your wife will be screwed, friendless and broke....then you show up out of no were and take your wife back home and give her a hard spanking.

But that's just me and life isn't that simple....but this plan would get rid of the best friend!


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## Be smart (Feb 22, 2015)

Save yourself and run my friend.

She even tried to see what your actions will be and will you accept her Affair.

There is a lot of better women out there and sure you can find one who will respect and love you.


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## Spotthedeaddog (Sep 27, 2015)

cancel all joint accounts and credit cards NOW.
Make sure she can't draw on any joint assets or convertibles, for liquidation or security.


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

It was so clear she was trying to ditch you (lying betrayal) to cheat while you were gone.

Really how can you be so clueless, and passive?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Why does she have a bank account, and why was there money in it if she hasn't worked in a year? 

Cut off any funds to her and credit cards. Just tell her, if she goes to Vegas with her girlfriend then don't come back. Period. 

You can NOT talk with her. There is nothing she can say right now. File for divorce.


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