# Separation/Sex



## socal04 (Apr 28, 2011)

Those that are separated... what the heck do you do for sex ? I guess nothing?


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Yeah it does suck. 

I'm dating someone now, but when I wasn't gettin' any....it sucked. I got into other things to try to distract myself and channel the energy elsewhere. But it still sucked.


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## socal04 (Apr 28, 2011)

it really is terrible... beyond horny


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## LucasJackson (May 26, 2016)

Just "handle" the situation yourself. Like when you were a kid. That's all you had then and it didn't kill you.


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## socal04 (Apr 28, 2011)

are you still seperated ?


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

If you meant me...I'm divorced now. But I was talking about the period of time between when I was having sex with my now ex-h, then it ended, and then going through dating people (which mostly did not turn into sex) and then now finally dating someone who I am having sex with. Sorry though if you really only meant separated partners who are trying to work it out. I don't know your story, either, I hope you are in a good place (other than the lack of sex).


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## prunus (Oct 29, 2016)

I wasn't getting any being married so not getting any during this separation isn't much different. However, I will say I've actually started thinking about it again. It's gone from being disgusted at the idea of having sex with STBXH to thinking about having sex again...someday.


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

I was in a 4+ year 100% sexless marriage. First night I separated I got laid and been getting it about every night these past 10 months. Giggity!


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## KillerClown (Jul 20, 2016)

Sex is not an inalienable right. Nor is it necessary to stay alive. If my wife fell ill and we were no longer able to have sex, I'm OK with that. I like to think our relationship is so much more than sex. When I was away from my wife for 3 month on business I used the free time to work on myself. It was a good experience.

Sorry, I don't understand the desperation.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

I started dating as soon as I moved out and sex followed soon after. After 24 sexless years, I wasn't going to wait any longer.


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## sixty-eight (Oct 2, 2015)

KillerClown said:


> Sorry, I don't understand the desperation.


I do. I wasn't as deparate during the sexless marriage or during the in house separation (Don't get me wrong, it wasn't fun. it bugged me). But after i left, I experienced some anxiety about it. With 2 little kids in tow, and not usually having sex until a relationship has progressed a bit, and not wanting to be in a new relationship any time soon, It overwhelmed me to think of how long it would be.

Now that it has been a while past that point, i feel much less anxious about it.

It'll happen when it happens, and until then i'm sure you're capable on your own. Until then, stay busy. Avoid triggers that keep you fixated, or make you feel lonely (romance novels? movies?).


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## prunus (Oct 29, 2016)

KillerClown said:


> Sex is not an inalienable right. Nor is it necessary to stay alive. If my wife fell ill and we were no longer able to have sex, I'm OK with that. I like to think our relationship is so much more than sex. When I was away from my wife for 3 month on business I used the free time to work on myself. It was a good experience.
> 
> Sorry, I don't understand the desperation.


No desperation here.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

socal04 said:


> Those that are separated... what the heck do you do for sex ? I guess nothing?




Did you have any when married?


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

GuyInColorado said:


> I was in a 4+ year 100% sexless marriage. First night I separated I got laid and been getting it about every night these past 10 months. Giggity!




I hate you !

Just kidding. Well, maybe not kidding.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Giving up sex at separation will be a bit like giving up Monday mornings.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

After about 6 months, I met my current wife. We had more sex in the first year together than I'd had in the previous 24 years. And pretty much daily (or more) for the past 16 years.


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## prunus (Oct 29, 2016)

Married but Happy said:


> I started dating as soon as I moved out and sex followed soon after. After 24 sexless years, I wasn't going to wait any longer.


Good for you! Nearly 23 years of a sexless marriage here. I'm sure I won't be getting it anytime in the near future. I have the kids 24/7/365. No time for anything.


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## Icebearsmom (Oct 20, 2016)

Are you hoping for reconciliation or just waiting for a divorce to be final? If you know it's going to be the latter, is there any reason you can't get some if you want it?

My STBX and I separated less than 3 weeks ago and we've both already slept with other people. In fact he's already moved in with another woman. I went out for drinks and commiseration with a divorced coworker last Friday and ended up in bed with him. No regrets. Wasn't as good as it was with my lying sack of **** husband, though. My STBX and I had amazing chemistry. The sex may very well be the only thing I end up missing about him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## prunus (Oct 29, 2016)

Icebearsmom said:


> Are you hoping for reconciliation or just waiting for a divorce to be final? If you know it's going to be the latter, is there any reason you can't get some if you want it?
> 
> My STBX and I separated less than 3 weeks ago and we've both already slept with other people. In fact he's already moved in with another woman. I went out for drinks and commiseration with a divorced coworker last Friday and ended up in bed with him. No regrets. Wasn't as good as it was with my lying sack of **** husband, though. My STBX and I had amazing chemistry. The sex may very well be the only thing I end up missing about him.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Who are you asking?


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## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

prunus said:


> Who are you asking?


The person who asked the question initially, of course.


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## bojangles (Oct 11, 2016)

I just rub one out when I feel like it. Or remind myself that I'm not very important in the grand scheme of things, so neither is sex at this moment in time.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

After being divorced for 6 years and not jumping back into something has allowed me to discover a lot of things about myself. For one, I've discovered that I actually need a relationship with someone i care about for sex to be on my mind a lot. Sex was actually an issue in my marriage; i wanted it more than her; however, now that we are apart and there is not a living, breathing, flesh and blood female in my home that I care about, I find that sex is not something I dwell on. I can't really explain that, but just how it is.


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