# Breakup Advice (1 month today)



## Baby Chicken (Sep 25, 2010)

We've been having some contact, though very little, and surfacy, we've been talking recently (only through text messages).

*YESTERDAY*

Out of the blue her best friend hit me up on chat


> Hey. How are you doing?


I responded back


> Doing really well. Just got promoted to manager.


Her best friend replied


> WOW! Awesome.


And before I could reply thank you, she hit me again with


> Because you know she'll never come back. You should accept this and move on


And then she logged off.

Just last night, 4 hours after her best friend chatted me up, I sent my ex a text


> Why would (best friends name) hit me up outa the blue and tell me this (message her friend said)


My ex replied back with


> I don't know


Then I replied back with


> Is this how you really feel?


She replied with


> Did you text her or call her after that?


I replied with


> No, she hit me up on facebook chat, outta the blue with this


She went silent and disapeared

*TODAY*

She posted on her facebook profile tonight


> Anyone looking for a roomate...etc....reasons she would make a good roomate


I texted her again tonight


> I read your facebook status. What's wrong and why are you moving out


She replied back


> (one of friends names) doesn't want to live with me and (other friends name) agreed with her


So I texted back


> You know that you're always welcome back home....no pressure


She never replied

So I sent another one 20 minutes later


> What does (best friends name) feel about (other two girls) treating you this way?


She never replied

I sent another text with a funny picture of our cat with a message included in it


> Mommy, where are you? I look all over the house, but you're not here. When will you come see me again?


She replied with


>


I texted again


> Can we just talk?


She never replied

I sent one more, as our personal joke to get her to laugh when she's feeling down and depressed


> I know you're going through a very rough time right now, but whatever you do, don't smile. Don't even let you face look like it's going to smile. Just don't do it.


*This would always make her bust out laughing*

She never replied

Now I'm at a loss. She never replied to the big topics, but lighter topics she would reply to immediately.

*Am I doing the right thing here? What is going to come out of this?*


----------



## Baby Chicken (Sep 25, 2010)

BUMP

We are actually engaged.


The "(1 Month Today)" means we have been apart for a month, and we have been together almost 2 years now.


Just to clear things up.


I'm getting the impression her friends had alot of influence on her leaving because

1. Her best friend has the worst success rate for relationships and it seems to me that her best friend sees my fiance and I happy and in love and her best friend see thisa and is jealous so she tries to bring my fiance down to her level so she can feel better about her miserable relationship success rates

2. Her other friends are also having bad times in relationships


----------



## GoDucks (May 19, 2010)

It seems like there is something she's not telling you, or a big piece that's missing. I would think the reaching out you are doing is great, but clearly she's not coming back to you with trust.

Would you guys consider a counseling session? Do you think she had an affair? Something is up.


----------



## Baby Chicken (Sep 25, 2010)

GoDucks said:


> It seems like there is something she's not telling you, or a big piece that's missing. I would think the reaching out you are doing is great, but clearly she's not coming back to you with trust.
> 
> Would you guys consider a counseling session? Do you think she had an affair? Something is up.


I don't know what's going on. I'm really confused and would like her to at least come clean and just tell me whatever there is.

*How can I get her to communicate with me?*


----------



## Baby Chicken (Sep 25, 2010)

BUMP

Guess who called me out of the blue? That's right, my ex called out of the blue.

I felt so supprised that she called, that I naturally sounded happy to hear from her, and she seemed happy to talk to me.

We talked for a while (around15 minutes) and she started talking about another place to live etc. I said that she was always welcome back home with me.

She then said that wasn't an option for her because we broke up. I said no we didn't and she asked what we were, and I said you said you needed your space, and I gave it to you.

She then said well right now she didn't get the time she needed and she wanted to on her own for now and thanked me for the offer.

I then said that I had to go be with my children and for her to call me again sometime, and she said she was going to ask how they were doing because she was thinking about them also.

I told her that they ask about her all the time, and they miss her. I then asked if she would like to meet up for coffee sometime and just talk.

She started to chuckle a little bit and said "Whoah, slow down. It took alot for me to just call" I said alright but the offer is out on the table and that I really had to go.

*Does it sound like anything will come further out of it?*


----------



## Hubby321 (Aug 1, 2010)

Apparently, your ex is indecisive. You guys broke up and now she's looking to be somewhere else. If it were me, I'd just let it go. If she can't decide what she wants to do, then YOU just move on without her.


----------



## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

It took a lot for her to even call you. She won't discuss anything about the relationship or any future with you. There's no definite reason for the breakup other than, 'she needed space'. She believes you have both broken up, and you believe that you were just having time apart.

I think you need to have closure. It sounds like she's gone for good, and you're still holding onto a relationship that doesn't actually exist anymore. You need to ask her straight out what is going on, and what exactly does she think is going to happen in the future.


----------

