# oh great. Two weeks ago-divorce. This week-I need surgery.



## staircase (May 16, 2011)

I am not dying or anything, but I will most likely need some surgery. I am terrified, upset and feeling very vulnerable. I want to call my soon to be ex and cry my head off. As evidenced by my no text thread, I have a real problem staying away from someone who clearly does NOT want to be married to me. The problem is if you take divorce off the table, he's pretty much the same guy he was last month.

SO, I want to cry and be comforted and have to keep reminding myself that the only thing worse than texting this person is texting him about medical problems. It seems so desperate and revolting.

I had to just get that out there. I just found this out because I didn't read my emails all day because of work. A notice from my doctor's office to check the patient portal was like UM STAIRCASE WE NEED YOUR ATTENTION.


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## DelinquentGurl (Mar 25, 2011)

I hope it isn't something serious, and that you will be ok.
Do you have someone who can go with you to the hospital?
I also am having surgery next week and am feeling much of the same things as you. I feel vulnerable and sad that my H won't be there. My step mother is bringing me, bless her heart.

I'll keep you in my thoughts.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## reindeer (Mar 24, 2011)

Staircase if you can try to find profile for AmImad, she went through treatment for cancer on here, without support from her husband. If you can find the threads it may give you courage. Sorry to hear your news, hope all will be well.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Sorry to hear this....hope it is nothing serious.

Try to find a close friend or family member you can lean on at this time. When I was so sick in 2009, it was amazing how my brothers and their wives and friends took control. 

You may want to ask your attorney about giving someone medical power of attorney over you though. When I got sick and went into a coma, my family was in a bad position. Since my estranged husband and I were separated (not divorced), he got to call the shots on anything needing consent. Unfortunately, he didn't take the hospital's calls in a timely fashion. My family had to get a lawyer and a court order so that they could make medical decisions on my behalf. It's something that every separated person facing medical procedures should think about.

Wish you well...and a speedy recovery.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

The same thing happened to my SIL. She found out her husband had been cheating for years then right after she kicked him out she had to have surgery then faced cancer. She has had a rough couple of years medically. Her family (we don't live near there) was amazing. Her husband had the nerve to show up at the hospital to "help" and her family kicked him out. "You aren't needed" they told him. 

She's now doing really well and has a new "nice" boyfriend. So here's wishing you a speedy recovery and the same happy ending.


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

I will most likely need parathyroid surgery. It's minimally invasive if done correctly but there are some scary risks like losing my voice. Since I am a corporate recruiter, I would be out of a job if that happened. I am not going to die or anything, but I don't know anything about this disease and naturally it's scaring me.

I feel terrible for folks who were very ill regardless of their marital situation. I wouldn't want people sick under the best of circumstances.

Thank you all for your kind words. I do have friends and/or family to help me through this. I don't like telling people when I'm sick so that's why I am telling you guys. It's a total hit to my ego. It makes me feel like I am weak and fragile and I never want anyone to think that about me.


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

> Thank you all for your kind words. I do have friends and/or family to help me through this. I don't like telling people when I'm sick so that's why I am telling you guys. It's a total hit to my ego. It makes me feel like I am weak and fragile and I never want anyone to think that about me.


You damn well let you family & friends know right this instant that you are unwell and are in need of surgery, you are being just as silly as I was, and that is not good !


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

Agreed with Crankshaw! Call them, they will probebly be upset with you if you do not tell your family anyway. It's the right thing to do. You don't have to face this alone and you will be OK.


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