# Should I divorce????



## BellaG (Nov 25, 2009)

I've only been married for a year and a half and I can already see that my marriage will either end in divorce or with me feeling miserable for the rest of my life. I don't feel like I am in love with my husband. I don't know if I ever was. I was so stupid to marry him and now I feel like a divorce is impossible. I would be so ashamed to tell my family, his family, our co-workers (we work together), and our friends.

I don't feel like he loves me either. He tells me all the time that he does, but he is only ever there for the physical part and disappears when I want to talk or just sit together. We have absolutely nothing in common. I always do things he wants to do but when I want to do something he makes me do it without him. The whole relationship is very one sided. I take care of him when he is sick but if I'm sick, he tells me not to come near him because he doesn't want me to get him sick. He won't ever hang out with my friends and says he doesn't like them before he even meets them. He always points out my flaws. He tells me all the time how fat I am. I'm 5'7 and weigh 160. I don't think I'm that fat but he says I gross him out. I've lost weight before and he is nicer to me but then as my weight increases he gets meaner to me. He told me today that he has the right to treat me like crap if I am fat and that if he knew that I would never lose weight again, he wouldn't want to be with me. But then he tells me that his love for me does not have conditions. He's obsessed with image (both his and mine) and I think that is all that matters to him. He is very controlling and says very hurtful things to me when he is annoyed. Later he apologizes but it doesn't make me feel any better. 

I have absolutely no sexual attraction to him anymore. He is extremely handsome but I just don't want to be intimate with him after so much hurt. I love him very much but I am not in love with him at all. I think I would be happier if I divorced him but I know it would be so painful and I know I would miss him (I don't know why but I know I would). I love his family and I know it would hurt to lose them. I also feel ashamed to get divorced after less than 2 years. I'm just afraid I'll never be happy. I want someone who will make me feel good about myself and that I want to be around. What should I do?


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## helpwelcome09 (Nov 25, 2009)

Reading your message as like I was listening to someone explain the same thing I am going through. I have only been married for 7 months though. I have been feeling that same way and I am also trying to decided what I should do. I don't really have any advice seeing as I am in the same boat as you... I just wanted you to know that you are not alone.


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