# LIFE IS GREAT after S/D



## jarhed (Nov 11, 2012)

So I separated back last summer.

My wife and I have had a ****ty marriage for many many years. From day 1 she stole money from accounts, lied about money and ran up credit cards, etc. I would always find out. Bail her out and she would cry and say she would never do it again. From here the marriage continually went south and we both endured it for over 20 years.

There is a lot more to the marriage story - it was just miserable. I'm sure you can find my intro if you like, but that isn't the purpose of this post. 

THERE IS A GREAT LIFE AFTER SEPARATION / DIVORCE!

I moved into a nice apartment. Started working out more, running and getting involved in volunteering as a coach, etc. It was nice being alone, although I wasn't alone for very long.

The financial part has been hard. We had mediation last week and it was painful to see all those digits being stripped from me and given to someone who doesn't deserve my hard earned investments. Such as life. I actually left mediation feeling good. (I'm told thats impossible, but I did).

Most important I get my 12 yr old child half the time and we have a really good relationship even despite her preteen attitude!

I've taken a new job making more. I'm not going to have to pay alimony, due to her infidelity and I am buying her out of the house. 

I swore to myself I would never. NEVER be in a relationship that wasn't 100% honest both from my side of things and from the other person's side.

Shortly after leaving and without looking I found someone and am dating. She treats me really great and I treat her equally as great. 

I told her probably too early in the relationship that I had no intentions of ever being dishonest in a relationship and would not tolerate dishonesty from anyone. I'd been down that road. I thought she might think I'm a bit daft for saying that a couple dates in but I really didn't care. 

So now we are deeply involved and have open communication. If someone comes on to me or texts I let her know and vice versa. It is so nice to lay my head on my pillow at night and know I'm being honest and hiding nothing.

Now the jaded part of me: I do have trust issues b/c my EX lied about everything, texted other guys, etc - Hell she even lied about things she didn't need to lie about.

So while I am in a serious relationship, I don't fully trust her and when I have questions I ask. It isn't often and our relationship is not a jealous one. She seems a little more jealous than I am and she admits this. I tell her she can always have access to my phone or whatever she needs and this works for us.

SO - THERE IS A GREAT LIFE AFTER SEPARATION AND DIVORCE.

I see so many unhappy people and if they free themselves from a horrible marriage and live honestly, life is good.

I'm looking forward to the rest of my life now. I don't ever want to get married again and the GF has mentioned it, but again - I'm honest and I don't see marrying again. If she leaves me for that eventually I will understand.

So to everyone out there going through divorce. Keep your chin up and know that life on the other side is way better.

Cheers


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