# Does he understand?



## crisis1008 (Mar 9, 2010)

Today, I have an appointment with my therapist. I don't like to see my husband after therapy. I like to be by myself to reflect on everything I have discussed with my doctor. My husband knows this. When I called him this afternoon, I told him that I had a doctor's appointment this afternoon and he asked if I was going over to his house tonight or staying at my sister's. I told him that I would be staying at my sister's house. He asked what brought this on all of a sudden. I explained for probably the upteenth time that nothing brought this on, and I always like to have some space after my appointments. He just got quiet. I asked him if this was okay with him, because I get scared and tense when he becomes upset. He said it was fine, but still remained quiet. I asked him why he was being so quient then and he just said that he did not have anything to say. I said "You don't want to talk, do you?", and he said that he did not. I asked him if he was mad, and he said that he was not. I could feel his anger. I knew that he was angry, but isn't he supposed to allow me my space when I need it? He always tells me that he understands that I need my space at times right now, but then either tells me its just that he always misses me every second I am away, or gets angrily quiet. I feel like he simply tries to make me feel bad for him so that I will come over anyway, or just tries to hold back anger. Is this understanding? Am I making too much of this. I just told him to call me when he felt like talking.


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## kissycupcake (Feb 9, 2010)

Crisis, I think your husband is manipulating you, my husband used to do the same things to me, He is an emotional and verbal abuser, they use your feelings to their benefit. He is making you feel bad so that you will give in to him. You need to stop talking with him and treating you this way, Tunera told me about some books to read, you should read them Why does he do that by Lundy Bancroft you'll probably recognize your husband in there, I know I did, Best of luck to you.


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