# Unloaded on my H's OW



## pacmouse (Nov 27, 2008)

And it felt awesome!!!! The OW is someone I have known for years and it is easy to get a hold of her. Today I sent her an email and let her know how I felt about her. It has been three months since it all came out and through counseling and hours of conversations with my H and I had a lot I needed to get off my chest. I know I struck a nerve with her because she tried to push my buttons by still not taking full responsibility for her actions. (even though she thinks she has) She still is trying to deflect her guilt and try to make like she isn't the home wrecking ***** she really is. It amazes me how someone can have more than one affair with more than one married man and still think they are moral and think they are a good person. I would give her the benefit of the doubt if she just sincerely owned what she did (like my H did) but, she is still making excuses for her actions. There is no doubt in my mind that she will go on to do this again with another married man. I feel bad for her H!!!

I got great pleasure in telling her my H and I were doing great and a lot of other positive things. I now feel like I can put this all behind me and continue to focus on my marriage and family. 

Has anyone else done this. Have you had the chance to let it out on the OM or OW? If so, how did you feel after?


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## Darth Vader (Jan 2, 2011)

pacmouse said:


> And it felt awesome!!!! The OW is someone I have known for years and it is easy to get a hold of her. Today I sent her an email and let her know how I felt about her. It has been three months since it all came out and through counseling and hours of conversations with my H and I had a lot I needed to get off my chest. I know I struck a nerve with her because she tried to push my buttons by still not taking full responsibility for her actions. (even though she thinks she has) She still is trying to deflect her guilt and try to make like she isn't the home wrecking ***** she really is. It amazes me how someone can have more than one affair with more than one married man and still think they are moral and think they are a good person. I would give her the benefit of the doubt if she just sincerely owned what she did (like my H did) but, she is still making excuses for her actions. There is no doubt in my mind that she will go on to do this again with another married man. I feel bad for her H!!!
> 
> I got great pleasure in telling her my H and I were doing great and a lot of other positive things. I now feel like I can put this all behind me and continue to focus on my marriage and family.
> 
> Has anyone else done this. Have you had the chance to let it out on the OM or OW? If so, how did you feel after?


Lady, I gotta ask.....

Why not inform her Husband about screwing around on him, after all, she not only helped to put your health at risk from STD's, she's continuing to expose her poor husband to any and all STD's! And please, don't say it's not your place to say anything to him, of course it is your place! She also has to take responsibility for _her_ actions. 

It's _time for her to face the consequences of her actions_!


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## Darth Vader (Jan 2, 2011)

Of course, don't do it out of revenge, although the thoughts will be there, however, if you have no doubt about doing this to her husband again, give him the heads up, he deserves it! Heck, she deserves it!


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## pacmouse (Nov 27, 2008)

Darth Vader said:


> Lady, I gotta ask.....
> 
> Why not inform her Husband about screwing around on him, after all, she not only helped to put your health at risk from STD's, she's continuing to expose her poor husband to any and all STD's! And please, don't say it's not your place to say anything to him, of course it is your place! She also has to take responsibility for _her_ actions.
> 
> It's _time for her to face the consequences of her actions_!


Ahhhhh, I did that too...along time ago!!! Her H knows what he is dealing with. I just don't know why he chooses to stay with her.


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## Darth Vader (Jan 2, 2011)

pacmouse said:


> Ahhhhh, I did that too...along time ago!!! Her H knows what he is dealing with. I just don't know why he chooses to stay with her.


Glad _somebody_ stood up and did something like this. I say this because I've read where the BS never tells the other BS what's been going on. I can't understand why he's staying either, she's probably still lying to him, of course. Did you show him evidence of her and your husband?

I did read a Thread somewhere else once about how a man's wife had cheated on him with the next door neighbor and his neighbor's wife found out about it. Oh, that's not all, the BH ended up getting together with the BW and they got it on hot and heavy(affair out of revenge), he stated that the sex was HOT and heavy between them both. The last I heard about them betrayed spouses was they ended up getting married after she finally got Divorced from her husband who was contesting the Divorce!


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

Glad it felt good glad you and your husband are doing well!!

I still believe the fault ALWAYS LIES with the spouse the OW/OM is just the vehicle of choice. I'm not saying she isn't to blame, but he is to blame much much more and by a very large margin.

It's like everything else it's not the guns, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, fast food companies, etc etc etc fault it's the person making the choices that is too fault. I do think adding nicotine to a cig. should be banned immediately though!!

Best of luck!!


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

How did your husband feel about what you did?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## pacmouse (Nov 27, 2008)

MsLonely said:


> How did your husband feel about what you did?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


He was fine with it. He is very supportive of me doing anything I need to do in order to heal. I showed him our conversation (email) and he was glad I was getting stuff off my chest.


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## pacmouse (Nov 27, 2008)

OhGeesh said:


> Glad it felt good glad you and your husband are doing well!!
> 
> *I still believe the fault ALWAYS LIES with the spouse the OW/OM is just the vehicle of choice. I'm not saying she isn't to blame, but he is to blame much much more and by a very large margin.*
> 
> ...


I agree!!!! He is to blame too! However, I know this OW and know she has ALWAYS had a thing for my H. It goes back to their high school days. I also know he never felt anything for her until she offered him the "Kool-Ade." He is guilty and responsible for drinking it, but I know she helped him feel okay with it and taught him how to be in an affair because she had done this before to another married man. My H has true remorse and feels like a fool for falling for it all. She however, is still making excuses for her part in it. I know she will do it again!!! I feel bad for her H, but at least I know he is aware of her actions....


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## yogachick (Aug 9, 2010)

pacmouse said:


> I agree!!!! He is to blame too! However, I know this OW and know she has ALWAYS had a thing for my H. It goes back to their high school days. I also know he never felt anything for her until she offered him the "Kool-Ade." He is guilty and responsible for drinking it, but I know she helped him feel okay with it and taught him how to be in an affair because she had done this before to another married man. My H has true remorse and feels like a fool for falling for it all. She however, is still making excuses for her part in it. I know she will do it again!!! I feel bad for her H, but at least I know he is aware of her actions....


 That sounds so spot on; there ARE seductressess out there and they are like dope pushers!!!

I'm glad you are doing so well pacmouse <3


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## dadda11o (Jan 6, 2011)

I think it's great that your husband was for it! I've forgotten what it's like to have a husband that is supportive...as for me, the cigarette and other examples are fine, but they don't jump off the shelf and attack...in my case, the nurse at the hospital where my husband was getting outpatient treatment...did you ever have to worry about someone stalking your spouse and stealing them off the hospital staff? Well, if I had, I'd have been with him day in day out. But I was doing what I thought needed to be done to keep other things in our lives rolling...but my husband and anyone elses' WOULD BE FORCED to deal with their "problems" in a whole different way if these women weren't spreading their legs and "appreciating them". I doubt she sees herself...don't know if such people have the capacity.


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## pacmouse (Nov 27, 2008)

dadda11o said:


> I think it's great that your husband was for it! I've forgotten what it's like to have a husband that is supportive...as for me, the cigarette and other examples are fine, but they don't jump off the shelf and attack...in my case, the nurse at the hospital where my husband was getting outpatient treatment...did you ever have to worry about someone stalking your spouse and stealing them off the hospital staff? Well, if I had, I'd have been with him day in day out. But I was doing what I thought needed to be done to keep other things in our lives rolling...but my husband and anyone elses' WOULD BE FORCED to deal with their "problems" in a whole different way if these women weren't spreading their legs and "appreciating them". I doubt she sees herself...don't know if such people have the capacity.


Yikes! That is rough...if you can't trust hospital staff, who can you trust!  Hugs to you!!!


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## dadda11o (Jan 6, 2011)

Thanks, pacmouse. I'm starting to think, from some people's responses to my posts, that it's not so weird that I'm the one in the fog...I seem to be in a less common situation...especially the tenacity my husband and OW are showing in their determination to destroy their marriages and families so they can live out their fantasy...strangely enough, they're sticking around for the divorces so they can finance the fantasy...amazing!


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