# In a bad place fast.....



## Nissan370z

I have been married for almost three months. This is my second marriage and I already feel like I did when I was close to separation in my first marriage.

I married a woman who is ten years younger then me. 

She calls herself a Evangelist. Well she doesn't just call herself that is what others at church call her as well. As I look back, maybe too I was impressed by that. However I have seen how she is at church and how she can be at home....its easy to tell others what to do but not so easy for yourself if you understand what I am saying...

The last several months before we got married were very rough. I had found a long lost daughter back in December. She and my future wife did not exactly take to each other. After a while I found myself in the middle. My future wife would get very upset and threaten when ever she was a round but it was the same with my daughter too. When she was with me all she would talk about is me not marring this woman.

She even acted very nasty at the wedding which disappointed me. Most of my family acted funny at the wedding. They mostly kept to themselves and had very little to say which was hurting for me as well.

Before we got married, we met with the church marriage counselors. However I always felt that things were one sided as they seemed to respect my future wife and what she had to say more then me. 

We had the same experience when we met with the pastor and his wife. I tried to talk about the issues with my daughter but the pastor would only say that it was just a communication problem when it was more then that. I also expressed to him about my money issues and that we should wait but again he agreed on my wife's side that it would work out.

The week before we were to move her furniture to my house, we had a big fight....and as I look back. I ask why I did not stop things then but I did not.

Anyway....after the honeymoon things changed fast. When I say the honeymoon ended...it ended. My wife does not like my house. She would never say but its obvious and even more so since she has moved in. She has alot of clothing and shoes....I have a small house. So there is a lot of her things stacked up in the guest bedrooms. 

She has told me time and time again how she does not feel comfortable there. Whenever there is a problem...its like a brick in the wall between us. So in saying that we do not have much of a sex life. She sleeps on her side of bed and sleep on mine. She uses the excuse that she is having a hard time adjusting so she does not feel comfortable. 

Part of my reason for getting married is so I could have a sex life...

We do not talk much either. That changes very fast when she walks into the church doors as she becomes another person. It takes us about twenty minutes to get to church...if I don't say anything....she will not. As soon as we hit the church doors...as I said, she becomes someone else. 

When service is over....she is so built up from people telling her how great she sung, etc....that many times I'm left in the corner. Its not a ego thing but I sometimes feel ignored by her.

I have told her to do what she wanted in the house...however that too has not been good. She had a few pots and pans and I had almost new ones but she will not use mine. She has gotten rid of most of my towels in the bathrooms too....

I feel like I have made a big mistake as I feel like she does not want to be there with me. We had talked about sharing financially...however she has not offered me anything to help out with the house bills like the mortage, power, etc. She only buys the groceries.....

I was happier when I was alone.

I found out the other week that I have cancer. Things changed for a while but then they went back to the same. No sex...me on my side of the bed and me on the other. Yes....she says she misses me.:scratchhead:

I'm too old to be living like this.... I am angry at myself as I saw some of this before we got married. It was like I was in the twilight zone or something as I continued with things when part of me was telling me not to do this....

She even said one time, how she thought about moving back to her apartment and I stay at the house......:scratchhead:

Now here I am not wanting to go home after work.....I have been this way before....


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## 3Xnocharm

Hindsight is 20/20, you should have taken the behavior of others toward her, and own insticts, to heart. I did the same thing with my first marriage. I'm sorry you are in such a situation now. I can relate to how she feels about the house, I moved into the house my (ex)husband and his ex wife had shared, and I hated it. I didnt like the house itself, and I didnt like the icky feeling left from her being there and the awful relationship they had there.

Maybe it is early enough that you can get the marriage annulled?


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## Nissan370z

I hear what you are saying....however when I was married, I did not live at the house I'm in now. I think its more a matter of taste. My house is a more modern as is my furniture...I don't think she cares for that. Also she said that she has been on her own most of her life and now she is not in control of things.....I don't think she cares for this either.


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