# So lost and confused



## Saddove (Sep 15, 2008)

I'm new here and will try to make this short as possible. I've been married for 7 years to someone I thought was my soulmate. 9 months into the marriage, I caught him spying on my 20 year old daughter as she prepared to shower. I was, and still am, sickened. He had done it several times. I found out he had spyed on a neighbor teen in his 1st marriage. Long story short, I really loved him unconditionally and he has been in counselling for porn addiction for several years and doing better. But the damage is done. I don't trust him, I don't respect him, and I know the terrible things he's capable of. On top of that, when we argue (he doesn't know how to "discuss" anything) he is so emotionally cruel to me and is just hateful. I have realized that I love him unconditionally, but he is capable of only conditional love. This is why he is estranged from all his children, sister, father, friends. I'm walking on eggshells so he doesn't get mad and act hateful towards me. I can't live like this anymore and want to leave him. But I'm in my 50's, always been a SAHM, with no real training or skills. He brings in the insurance and the income. I made the mistake of putting my home in his name, and now he says if I leave him, he will try to take half of my house, although I've been here 20 years and him only 7. I just don't know where to turn. He has a lot of good qualities and skills and there is much I love about him, but I can't accept his conditional love any longer and living with the mistrust. Where do I start?


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Start with speaking with a lawyer or social service to see what your rights are on the house and assets. Also further evaluate your marriage and see if you feel it can be salvaged.


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## brad (Jul 31, 2008)

Just work slowly but try to figure out how to get out of your marriage with at least your house intact. Why keep working with such an idiot? I know you are trying to do your best and have hope but you really need to take care of YOU first. It sounds like you put the other person first and although its a beautiful quality it leaves you open to predators like this guy.


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