# Husband refuses to give oral



## Kali85 (Dec 16, 2010)

My husband refuses to give me oral sex unless he is "in the mood", which is about once a month. I have always given him a lot of bj's, almost every time we have sex. I love oral. As soon as he takes off his clothing it's like a magnet. He is affectionate and loving in every other way. He's always grabbing my butt, cuddling me and kissing me. He has no problem with giving me hand jobs, just rarely oral. I am his first for everything, kiss, sex, etc... I was very experienced before we met. When we first started being intimate (before we had sex, just touching and oral) he did it all the time and loved it. About two months after the sex started the oral stopped. We argue about this all the time. I always feel like he doesn't care about my needs and finds me disgusting. He argues that he shouldn't have to do something he doesn't want to. I used to give him sex 90% of the time when he wanted it, even if I didn't. I figured I would want it after we started. Now we barely even do it 4x a month. HELP!


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Has he said why he doesn't want to do it?


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## Just1Man (Dec 9, 2010)

For starters... I love your Avatar. Ash is the man!! Now, to be blunt. I think we all want our partners to be fresh as a daisy when we do oral. Hey, if we are going to talk about oral sex then we had to go there. So... If that is not an issue then I guess he just doesn't enjoy it anymore. I personally can't understand that but some people do have aversions to some things. That's just a fact of life. As for myself, I would perform oral on my wife 24/7 if she let me. I am obsessed with oral in many ways and feel that every square inch of a woman deserves that kind of attention. Go figure, my wife has gotten to the point where I don't think she cares about sex or any kind of physical affection at all.

Back to your problem. Am I correct in saying that you only have sex 4 time a month now or is it that he only performs oral on you 4 times a month?? If he still performs oral on you 4 time a month then you might just have to settle for that. If all the sex had dropped to 4 times a month then you are still doing better than I am  . Not that this is a good thing for either of us.

I have tried to get my wife re-interested in sex but I don't know if it is possible. How do you get your husband re-interested in performing oral on you? I don't know? Try dominating him by sitting on his face. That would get my attention :smthumbup: ! If you don't totally shave or wax maybe try that to spice things up. If he likes chocolate or whipped cream you could have fun with that as well. Hell, what do I know. Read my posts. My wife barely has a pulse lately


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Weird thing about oral-when a man won't give it to a woman, he is condemned as an insensitive jerk for depriving her of what she wants. But if a woman won't give oral, evryone tells the man to not force her into something she doesn't want to do. It's the double standard.

But, now that that's said, Kali, are you sure that he really loved it, as you say? You said that that was at the beginning, and men will do anything for you at the beginning to ensure the flow of sex, or, at the very least, to avoid a fight.

Perhaps he never liked it to begin with, but only does it to please you. Maybe he has a "smell issue"? Not saying your unclean, but maybe the smell, coupled with what he knows comes out of there is putting him off. I refuse to do anything anal to this day because of that.

P.S.-love your pic


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## Sara Ann (Aug 27, 2010)

I have the same problem with my H.

I noticed when our relationship was going very well, he was more willing to do it, because he wanted to please me. When he does not feel well in himself or toward me, he won't do it. He actually walked out on me the other day when I was masturbating after he had his orgasm. For us, it's all about how he feels toward me.


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## Just1Man (Dec 9, 2010)

> He actually walked out on me the other day when I was masturbating after he had his orgasm.


Wow... I could never walk out on a masturbating woman... I would watch, join in, etc... but never walk out.


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## CaliRN (Jan 2, 2010)

U probably have a hundred men lining up to help u with ur problem ;-). As a guy I think there is an issue he's not tellin u about, maybe he feels has some control over that
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Bad News (Nov 4, 2010)

Just1Man said:


> Wow... I could never walk out on a masturbating woman... I would watch, join in, etc... but never walk out.


Exactly, I would love to see my wife masturbate, and could never walk away!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Kali85 said:


> Now we barely even do it 4x a month. HELP!


Do you mean sex itself ? He only cares about once a week? How old are you ? Has this been a slow decline? As men age, their LUST hormone testosterone slowly decreases so this could be a factor . DO you always wait for him to pursue you ? 

Speaking of oral , a little embarrasing but for a time I was taking Fish oil caplets, and I noticed husband was not so gong ho on going down there , of coarse he is not going to come right out and tell me I stink. Even though nothing was said, I could feel there was a change, I got emotional about it one night feeling he lost desire for this act -when I was just starting to enjoy it more. Only to learn -by calling him out and talking about it --- I did not taste the way I used too, we figured out it was these vitamins. Even a google search will tell you it can affect your vaginal secretions. 

I was so elated to learn THAT was the problem instead of him outrightly loosing desire, but the Cr** we have to go through to get men to admit something- when they don't want to hurt us. 

I hope it may be something as simple as this -for you.


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## janesmith (Nov 29, 2010)

theres nothing wrong with a man not giving oral or not wanting to but I see the double standard you are talking about. I personally wouldnt have married my husband if he didnt give oral. Meaning to say our relationship wouldnt have gone much further to get to marriage.

Premarital sex is important, lol. How awful to find out your husband wont give you oral AFTER youre married!


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

I make sure my private part is well cleaned, shaved and smell like perfume before I go and sit on my husband's face. You will need to make it a habit If you really need it often but make sure it has a nice & clean taste first. Make sure you inform him you already well cleaned yourself and then he's more willing to do it.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Star said:


> I’d suggest getting him in the shower with you, then clean each other, I bet you anything that you won’t be leaving that shower anytime soon when hands and tongue’s start wondering!!


Lol. When I'm in the shower room with my husband, usually I wash him like a baby. After the baby is washed, he goes away and I wash myself.
He never gives me oral in the shower but I do all the time.
He's spoilt.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Star said:


> I’d suggest getting him in the shower with you, then clean each other, I bet you anything that you won’t be leaving that shower anytime soon when hands and tongue’s start wondering!!


That's dangerous, I suggest a bath tub instead lol


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Stop giving him oral. Cut him off, and just give him boring, missionary sex, and I'll bet that he will be wanting to go down on you like a buzzard on a Civil War field hospital!


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Star said:


> Dangerous?
> Dangerously hot, yes
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You've never slipped?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I had no idea lol


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I'm sure a lot of other folks would appreciate the link too, thanks


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## marriedwithkids1 (Nov 10, 2010)

Before i relegated my oral to sex in the shower I would explore other options. As others have mentioned things may have changed and he may have tollerated it at the begiining (hard to say). 

Personally, i could smell/taste like month old fish and my hubby would likely not want to admit it and you may never get a straigth answer. I would go to a doctor/research on the internet to try and see if there is an issue.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Nothing to to stop yourself from testing your own flavor off your finger if there is a question about it.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

I washed and shaved myself carefully. Then I applied a bit peach flavor body oil around the private part, I rinsed it, so it remove the taste of body oil but the fragrance was still there and it actually smelled like a sweet peach. My husband couldn't get his mouth away from it. He gave me a very good oral and then we switched to 69. We had a great and very long oral sex for each other! Best oral I ever enjoyed. So if it tastes good, he would enjoy eating you!


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

MsLonely said:


> I washed and shaved myself carefully. Then I applied a bit peach flavor body oil around the private part, I rinsed it, so it remove the taste of body oil but the fragrance was still there and it actually smelled like a sweet peach. My husband couldn't get his mouth away from it. He gave me a very good oral and then we switched to 69. We had a great and very long oral sex for each other! Best oral I ever enjoyed. So if it tastes good, he would enjoy eating you!


Every man can give oral sex and should learn the technique, it can drive us women into heaven!!!  Yes, we have to make sure we taste good.


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## ThinkTooMuch (Aug 6, 2010)

I agree with greenpearl, men should give oral if only because it can be so much fun for all parties. A lover having orgasm after orgasm does wonders for one's ego and the relationship, even if it annoys the neighbors.

I enjoy giving oral pleasure to my new girl friend, happily she enjoys what I do even more than me and I become very happy in the process. I like the way she tastes and feels.

My new GF keeps herself neatly trimmed, her legs smooth, her body clean, wears attractive bras and panties, she is nicely shaped, feisty, opinionated and open emotionally. We're both over 60, our minds 17, we are acting our mental age. Lots of fond emails, kissing, necking, hand holding, talking on the phone, making possible plans for trips, meals, and the like, but scared of where we're going in barely more than a month since meeting.

Past history - my stbxw never liked me giving oral, doesn't think her body is attractive (it was when we met and for years afterward, she'd been dancing for years) or vagina is pretty, liked sex but wanted to be under the sheets, not visible. 

I've long felt she kept us from great mutual pleasure that in turn leads to better times together. Previous lovers had a good time when I gave oral, so I'm led to believe my technique is at least OK. She called my fingers magic, I knew what she liked and she gave me detailed directions - up, down, left, right, in, out. Not my problem any more.​




greenpearl said:


> Every man can give oral sex and should learn the technique, it can drive us women into heaven!!!  Yes, we have to make sure we taste good.


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## Threetimesalady (Dec 22, 2010)

greenpearl said:


> Every man can give oral sex and should learn the technique, it can drive us women into heaven!!!  Yes, we have to make sure we taste good.


I adore oral sex...Shave at least twice a week and do my thing...Get the book "Satisfaction" by Kim Cattrall and Mark Levinson...It is very tastefully illustrated and can add one heck of a lot to a marriage...About five years ago my husband was not doing my clit the way I wanted him to...Saw Kim on Oprah....Got the book...Left it out to the open page of what I wanted....This was next to his Bunn coffee deal...The next morning I woke up to a man between my legs giving me oral...The book worked...Man, now he flicks me great....Great book....And believe me, I smile as I write this...He is really good....


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## chefmaster (Oct 30, 2010)

Threetimesalady said:


> I adore oral sex...Shave at least twice a week and do my thing...Get the book "Satisfaction" by Kim Cattrall and Mark Levinson...It is very tastefully illustrated and can add one heck of a lot to a marriage...About five years ago my husband was not doing my clit the way I wanted him to...Saw Kim on Oprah....Got the book...Left it out to the open page of what I wanted....This was next to his Bunn coffee deal...The next morning I woke up to a man between my legs giving me oral...The book worked...Man, now he flicks me great....Great book....And believe me, I smile as I write this...He is really good....


Awesome success story, thank you for posting and letting others know there is hope.

I'm left wondering if he heard "You can wake me up like that ANYtime!


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Ha ha ha, 

Men like to lick pu$$$es, does it affect men's ego???

I doubt it!!!

I enjoy sitting on a chair like a queen, legs wide open, and my husband kneels down in front of me licking me..............

      Big mischievous smiles..........................


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## reachingshore (Jun 10, 2010)

I remember something I read a long time ago about women swallowing. I don't remember whether it was an article (something professional) or a post (some hear-say), but it said that, assuming there are no hygienic issues, if a woman doesn't swallow you could say she doesn't fully accept her man (shoot me - whether it was about a physical acceptance or emotional, I don't remember).

So if you reverse that and apply it to your husband then his "loving to do it before but not so much now" and his "(not) being in the mood" would kinda make sense.

Question is what to do about it now?


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## kgregory1011 (Dec 2, 2010)

Why would a guy want to eat a pu55y smelling like perfume? My understanding is that most men love the way a woman naturally (clean of course) smells. Our bodies release phermones, sweat, and hot bodily fluids, why would you want to cover that up? If my mans c0ck smelled like Burberry I would feel like I was deep throating the bottle. Not so hot. .. 

But then again .. I am a pig and a pervert. Sex is like a drug and the tastes and aroma adds to the experience. 

Just never understood the perfumed pu55y, unless of course you just have a really stinky foul smelling one .. In that case I would highly suggest to stop "masking" your offensive odor and get it checked out.


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## tacos (Dec 28, 2010)

MsLonely said:


> I make sure my private part is well cleaned, shaved and smell like perfume before I go and sit on my husband's face. You will need to make it a habit If you really need it often but make sure it has a nice & clean taste first. Make sure you inform him you already well cleaned yourself and then he's more willing to do it.


I second this.... as a guy I don't mind at all giving oral, but smelling clean (and being clean) helps a ton. I'm really sensitive to smell, and so I can quickly pick up on.. maintenance issues, which basically destroys the mood, without going into detail.


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## discouraged1 (Mar 16, 2010)

40jane said:


> Men do whatever it takes to bring you down the aisle...then they stop doing the things they didn't initially like (oral sex) for your husband. My marriage is duplicated to yours, same story. I've learned to live without. I don't think you can entice, force or encourage someone that isn't interested in oral. It isn't right or fair to do these things before marriage and then stop (totally agree). Some men are selfish and care more about there own needs.


Now there 40Jane you are being a little jaded and putting all men into that category...... there are just as many women who do the exact same thing. It is a two way street for everyone.
I am sorry you are having to go through this.


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## Serena (Jan 2, 2011)

I'm on the other side of the coin. My husband wants to give me oral, but I feel weird about it. The smell issue bothers me. I don't want him to have his face in that, and I certainly don't want to kiss him after he's done it! If I can let go and completely surrender to the passion, then I will let him do it. I do always enjoy it, but I just feel weird about it. Now things are different since I've bought a couple of gels / pastes for oral sex. One's spearmint and the other is peppermint flavored. The peppermint one has a little bit of menthol in it, too, to help with the gag reflex. After trying these, my husband says that he enjoys it even more.


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## LSU Fan (Dec 31, 2010)

Serena said:


> I'm on the other side of the coin. My husband wants to give me oral, but I feel weird about it. The smell issue bothers me. I don't want him to have his face in that, and I certainly don't want to kiss him after he's done it! If I can let go and completely surrender to the passion, then I will let him do it. I do always enjoy it, but I just feel weird about it. Now things are different since I've bought a couple of gels / pastes for oral sex. One's spearmint and the other is peppermint flavored. The peppermint one has a little bit of menthol in it, too, to help with the gag reflex. After trying these, my husband says that he enjoys it even more.


I wish my wife would let me do it more often, I like the idea of the gels, we might have to try that


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## ThinkTooMuch (Aug 6, 2010)

Walk in showers with grab bars and benches are wonderful places for oral sex.

A few years back I had our main bathroom enlarged because I have a problem walking and didn't want to step over a barrier between the central area and the shower. It ended up being over 5' * 5' and turned out to be a lot of fun when my stbx was in the mood. Once, in a hotel with a good bench in the shower we were in so long the steam set off a smoke alarm.

These days I have a GF with a high libido, she's absolutely delicious, I'm looking forward to finding a hotel room with a handicap accessible shower.



Star said:


> I’d suggest getting him in the shower with you, then clean each other, I bet you anything that you won’t be leaving that shower anytime soon when hands and tongue’s start wondering!!


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## Fordsvt (Dec 24, 2010)

Just1Man said:


> Wow... I could never walk out on a masturbating woman... I would watch, join in, etc... but never walk out.


I love to give my wife Oral-it's an act of Beauty!
She smells and tastes great. The issue is we don't do it enough at all. Like in a previous post said.

"I wished that I got laid 4 times a month!!:scratchhead:


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## janesmith (Nov 29, 2010)

oral sex is not a regular part of your (general your) repertoire?


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## Fordsvt (Dec 24, 2010)

janesmith said:


> oral sex is not a regular part of your (general your) repertoire?


It was in the repertoire last night!
I just gave and focused on her. 2 orgasms for her and one big one for me too.:smthumbup:


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

greenpearl said:


> Ha ha ha,
> 
> Men like to lick pu$$$es, does it affect men's ego???


THIS man, apparently, doesn't.


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## Fordsvt (Dec 24, 2010)

vthomeschoolmom said:


> THIS man, apparently, doesn't.


Touche!!!!!!:smthumbup:
Nice one..... I doubt he's getting much of anything!

:iagree:


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## Tyrone (Jul 28, 2011)

My Wife also does not give oral any more!! she loves to recieve  I had no problem giving her oral sex,but she does not return the favour. So I ended the oral sex between us by leaving her with her last one..I ate her like a butterfly drinking due from rose petals and finished like a Bull god pup eating hot meal out of a bowl :smthumbup: Then I politley informed her that that was her last one ....until she returned ...it has not worked yet and still waitingbut then so is she and I know she wants it:rofl:


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Tyrone said:


> My Wife also does not give oral any more!! she loves to recieve  I had no problem giving her oral sex,but she does not return the favour. So I ended the oral sex between us by leaving her with her last one..I ate her like a butterfly drinking due from rose petals and finished like a Bull god pup eating hot meal out of a bowl :smthumbup: Then I politley informed her that that was her last one ....until she returned ...it has not worked yet and still waitingbut then so is she and I know she wants it:rofl:


I believe that "tit for tat" techniques typically do not work. They might make YOU feel good for a period of time, but what really happens is that each person just becomes resententful, the pressured person develops an aversion to the act, and you're much worse off.

Why can't you just accept what she is willing to give? Find things that both of you enjoy and build the intimacy that way. You may be surprised that if you build up the intimacy by respecting your partner more, that your partner may end up opening up and be more willing to try new things and explore with you.

Best wishes.


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