# Pregnant and confused



## tmf (Aug 19, 2011)

I am currently 6.5 months pregnant and considering getting back with the real father. However, I have been seeing another guy thru the whole pregnancy. He knows it isn't his but he is accepting of it. 

The only reason I am considering going back with the ex is because he wants to be the father and I want a traditional family.

I don't love him. I love the current guy. I don't see myself being happy with the ex. He has never done anything to harm me except belittle me I guess. He doesn't respect me and I don't respect him.

Me and the current guy haven't been together that long so it's hard to know. But everything I don't feel with the ex, i feel with this guy. If I was not pregnant this is the guy I would be with.

What should I do? I don't want to ruin the baby's life


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

tmf said:


> The only reason I am considering going back with the ex is because he wants to be the father and I want a traditional family.


This guy gets to be the father no matter what... he helped to create the child and you don't have to be with him for him to be 'dad'. You want a traditional family, but how is that better than listening to your heart?? The image??

You should get YOURSELF together before this baby comes, and forget the men for a while. They are complicating your priorities it seems. Allow the father to have contact, but don't get back together with him just because he's the father... that WILL mess up the baby later on... as they are keen to reproduce their parents' relationships, as adults. I don't say that to be harsh, but to be honest. My best friend went through a similar thing, and all the time and energy she spent on other men, father or no father, was energy taken away from her child. Thankfully she's grown up a bit not, and puts all her focus on her little girl. 

I wish you the best of luck!!!


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## PrivateTalk (May 27, 2011)

Hello  congrats on your baby 

My thoughts are it may seem like a nice idea to have the bio dad around, but in reality your baby will be able to tell your two do not love/like each other.

You said it yourself you are in love with the current man and he is accepting of your up coming birth, give him a chance because although he may not be bio dad he may turn out better than the bio dad ever could.

if your ex want to be a part of the babies life that's cool but don't make the situation worse by being with him only for the babies sake it never works and can harm more than anything.

My sister was in a situation just like yours she staying with the current (non bio) and her daughter is now 9 and they are still together she calls him Dad and he IS her dad because he's the one that has raised her and cut her cord and held her while she cries. being a dad is more than where the sperm came from, remember that 

Good luck stay with the one that will make you happy, if your happy so will your child be


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