# Separated and Indecisive



## AtOdds (Jul 21, 2011)

I initiated a trial separation from my husband 6 weeks ago after he asked me "if I'd miss him if he wasn't around" and I couldn't answer. Well, after 6 weeks, I can definitely state that I don't miss him. I miss my 3 daughters, but I don't miss him.

That being said, however, I still can't make up my mind to officially leave my family. Literally every single sign points me in the direction to get a divorce. But... I would not be able to see my daughters except on weekends due to my work schedule; we would be severely financially strapped due to the housing market; our finances are truly a nightmare to sort out with a rental house thrown in; etc, etc. Are these just excuses? Do I just not have the courage to do what I know I should do?

We have been discussing divorce for the past 1.5 years... and yes, it was initially started by me, the unhappy working mom. He wants to work on the marriage, I don't see the point and no longer love him.

So... should I just gather up my courage, divorce him, and not look back?


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

If your reason for leaving is not infideliy (by him) nor abuse then -Set him free!

If your reason for leaving is because he cheated or abused you then - Set yourself free!

Either way, it looks like divorce.

Where is Runs Like Dog when you need him.


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## sprinter (Jul 25, 2011)

Personally, if he's making an effort then this is a fairly selfish position. We have this idea that if we don't love someone there's nothing we can do. There is. Start loving them. Love is a verb, first and foremost. I realize this may come off judgmental but again, it's my opinion.

You have children. They should come before anything. If he's abusive either actively or passively, ignores you, treats you poorly etc. that's different. You haven't noted any of that. They would be the only exceptions.


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