# Trapped



## mommmyto4 (Dec 31, 2009)

I need some good advice on if i should end my marriage.... I have been married for almost ten years. We got married at 20 so we were pretty young. We now are the proud parents of 4 kids. But for some time have been having many problems. I am basically at the point of leaving but am not sure considering I am still finishing my degree..and do not work. We fight almost daily. I am to the point i cant stand him... he has major anger problems or so I think. He loves to fight with me in public he has no regard for what he does. I can;t even tell you how many times we have just been driving and he gets into some road rage thing (which has been really scary).... there have been times we have been in a store and someone bumps into him and he gets pissed off. It has become really embarrasing to me that he does this. when we fight he screams really loud so that the whole neighborhood can hear. I almost feel like he does this on purpose because he knows I hate it. one thing that causes alot of are fights is his addiction to ps3.... he comes home at 4pm gets on it until 1 am. basically he does not even play with the kids just gives them things to make them be quiet. for instance tonight we had an argument abot it I asked him if he could help me mop the floor while I put the kids to bed and then I will 
do the laundry and the bathrooms so he did do it after two hours of asking. when he was finished he came into the room and i had just drifted off and yelled at me to get up. Mind you I take care of four kids, the house, cooking, and my school. So i am beat... But i did get up and start doing it. He tells me that thats what i am here to do and basically i do not have a right to be tired that taking care of kids is nothing and that he works.
And me on the other hand feel that its a 50/50 job. That he instead of being on the ps3 could be either playing with the kids or helping out A little then get back on the game. Also we have issues with him not directly hittting me but pushing me on the floor and things like that. I get really mad about it but he says its not abuse its not like he punchs me,
basically what it comes down to is i want to end it but im afraid due to the fact that i have four kids no job and still finishing school. He plays off this too when i ask him to leave because i dont want to do this anymore near the kids that its not healthy. he flat out refuses and i know he does this because he knows i cant just leave so i guess I am stuck any advice would help me greatly thanks


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## millmant (Dec 23, 2009)

I know you say you cant stand him, but will ask these questions.

If he would, would you go to counseling?

Do you know if he would go to a psychologist in an attempt to learn to manage his anger?

Do you think is playing of the video games,just uses it as any excuse to avoid dealing with life's issues?

If you choose to leave him, do you have family nearby that would take you and your kids for awhile until you get on your feet so to speak.

Would you be willing to stop going to school and if you could find a job willing to work.

Just some questions at least myself, if in your shoes would be asking myself.


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## jessi (Feb 11, 2009)

tough one, I agree with millmant, you need some support now from family or friends to help with the scheduling of the kids. Maybe you 2 could discuss a separation and your husband could actually move out and this would at least not disrupt the kids lives as they know it.
Your husband might want to separate as well, good luck and be safe


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

Funny thing about being pushed down to the floor is it gives you a wonderful angle to kick him right in the nuts. Look at those babies and tell me that if their spouses did that to them that you wouldnt go after them with a knife. That is still abuse honey. 

I would suggest the seperation or counseling, especially before the hate for him gets so big that it isn't going to be manageable. If you hate someone you can't hide it, and you don't want your kids to know that kind of stuff. they should never have to. 

My H used to play his XBOX like mad, ignore the kids and I and leave everything up to me when we were both working, and it caused a whole ton of problems. I couldn't even really tell you why he grew up, he just deployed, came home and lost interest in it. 

Best of luck to you honey and be safe


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## helpmeunderstand (Dec 22, 2009)

From my perspective (I'm a guy), sounds like your husband doesn't want to grow up and may be some what resentful. I like the PS3 as much as any guy but when he spends all his time at this to the exclusion of his family, I am wondering if he if happy about being a father and where he is in life? I could be totally wrong here, just a thought. But there must be something underlying those anger issues. How does he respond when you try to be intimate with him? I think he is using this as an escape from something.


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