# Just don't know what to do. . .



## Gabbyrenee (Aug 24, 2010)

So I've been married since September 2008 and have only had sex 2-3 times. . .now let me start by saying that at first this was my fault or should I say my body's fault b/c I had absolutely no hormones in my system whatsoever (no estrogen and no testosterone) which attributed to my completely depleted sex drive. . .I went to the dr and learned this and at first my husband was supportive, all of 2 weeks or so and then it's been downhill ever since. he has belittled and demeaned me . . .telling me we should just get divorced, at least my ex had sex with me, accusing me of cheating on him everytim i blink an eye, tapping into my phone, hacking into my facebook and following me places. He also has bi-polar and anger-aggression issues. . . .now I know that I am not perfect by any means but really. . .I feel like I can't breathe without him asking where did you get that breath from. . .in the last 6 months or so it has become almost unbearable. . .he's threatened to commit suicide if i leave him (which is extremely hurtful b/c my father committed suicide when I was 15), he's threatened to kill any guy i talk to. . . .we've had to call the police on him b/c he was acting threatening with knives, etc, he's lied about having an STD thinking I would stay (and yes I know for a fact that he was lying), he belittles me about not having sex with him and says i'm cheating but then I find condoms in his car. Now I know all of you are thinking why haven't you left him yet. . . .and I can tell you I struggle with it everyday . . .my hormones have come back I want to have "fun" with someone and not my husband b/c I just can't find myself attracted to him physically anymore. I want to leave but it's hard for me b/c he reminds me so much of my dad and bc he has nowhere to go and I am scared he would hurt himself but then the really selfish part is I wouldn't be able to afford it by myself. . . .but i honestly can't see spending the rest of my 20s living like this. . .plus I've met this really awesome guy and he doesn't know any of this. . .HELP!!!! Has anyone been here before. . .any advice would be great!


----------



## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

I really don't see why you stay. Nothing you describe sounds like a happy, healthy relationship. In all honesty, what you describe sounds very emotionally abusive to me: threatening to kill himself when he knows your father died that way, threatening you with knives. 

As for the other guy...leave that alone until you have decided to end your marriage, if in fact that is what you decide. Cheating on your spouse is just wrong. Yes, he seems like a total jerk, and I personally think you'd be better of without him, but cheating is still wrong. Make sure you are better than that; make sure that if and when it comes to divorce court, that your hands are clean and you can walk in there with your head high knowing that you did what you could to keep your end of the marriage deal.


----------



## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

Never mind the rest of your 20's... do you want to spend the rest of your life like this? under the threat of suicide, or you being physically harmed?

You need to watch out for yourself first. You can't help him if you can't do what is best for yourself first. Find a way to get out.

As for the other guy, yes he's "awesome". Look who you are comparing him to! Step away from both and get your life in order.


----------



## HappyHer (Nov 12, 2009)

Leave now and don't look back. Staying with him so he doesn't kill himself isn't helping either one of you. If he threatens suicide, call 911 and let them handle it. Also, you may want to move to a safe house, while he is not home and get a restraining order if you feel your well being is in jeopardy. No one should live how you are living.


----------

