# Important things to consider when going through Divorce or Separation



## JukeboxHero (Mar 3, 2015)

Hey Everyone,

It seems like my wife and I are going to be filing for Dissolution of Marriage soon. I don't think there will be too many issues regarding how we split things up, but I still want to make sure I'm prepared for anything that might go wrong.

Here are a few important facts to consider.

- She's from Philippines, and she just got her U.S. Citizenship
- She's going there for vacation. She joked once about not coming back or extending her stay, but I'm certain she's coming back to resolve things (and she's said she would)
- I have a collection of various collectable games. I was thinking about selling some to liquidate and get some cash for divorce and basic survival stuff. I was told by a friend that might be a bad idea (I still might sell a few things, like $50-$100) just to get a bit of cash.


There are two issues I'm really concerned about atm.

Issue #1; She wants me to pay her back for the money she put into my Rav4. We purchased the vehicle about 3 yrs ago and she put down a $3k down payment. I personally don't think we should because we purchased it so long ago and even though she had her own car, we used the Rav4 MOST of the time.

Issue #2. I co-signed on her vehicle. I was told it would be wise to refinance or get my name on the title. She doesn't want to refinance because then she may lose her 0%.

I'm sure I'll have more issues arise. I'm definitely going to searching for a good lawyer (I have a friend who can probably do it for $500ish)

Any advice or suggestions?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

JukeboxHero said:


> Hey Everyone,
> 
> It seems like my wife and I are going to be filing for Dissolution of Marriage soon. I don't think there will be too many issues regarding how we split things up, but I still want to make sure I'm prepared for anything that might go wrong.
> 
> ...


There is nothing wrong with you selling a few games. The dollar figure is not enough to be concerned about at all. 

I do not recall how long you have been married. Did you own any of the games before you married her?



JukeboxHero said:


> There are two issues I'm really concerned about atm.
> 
> Issue #1; She wants me to pay her back for the money she put into my Rav4. We purchased the vehicle about 3 yrs ago and she put down a $3k down payment. I personally don't think we should because we purchased it so long ago and even though she had her own car, we used the Rav4 MOST of the time.


A judge would not care about this.

What was the source of the $3,000? Was if from separate money, meaning money she had before the marriage, inheritance, etc.? Or was it money that she earned after the marriage?

If it’s money she earned during the marriage. It’s a martial asset, meaning its’ half yours anyway. At most give her $1,500 back.

If it’s from separate funds, give her back at least half since she’s had use of the vehicle for 3 years.

There is little to no chance that a court will require you to give her any of it back. 


JukeboxHero said:


> Issue #2. I co-signed on her vehicle. I was told it would be wise to refinance or get my name on the title. She doesn't want to refinance because then she may lose her 0%.


How much does she owe on the vehicle? If it is not refinanced, get your name on the title and your name on the insurance.


JukeboxHero said:


> I'm sure I'll have more issues arise. I'm definitely going to searching for a good lawyer (I have a friend who can probably do it for $500ish)


If you can get it done that cheaply, more power to you!


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## standre (Nov 9, 2015)

If you've got to sell $50-$100 just to get a bit of cash you've got bigger issues than getting divorced.


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## JukeboxHero (Mar 3, 2015)

EleGirl said:


> There is nothing wrong with you selling a few games. The dollar figure is not enough to be concerned about at all.
> 
> I do not recall how long you have been married. Did you own any of the games before you married her?
> 
> ...


Yes, we bought the vehicle after we got married. I think it's kinda odd that she's asking for money for this, considering...
A. I paid for a lot of things to support us both when she first moved here and didn't have a job.
B. She wanted to buy the vehicle from a dealership (meaning we would have car payments), I would've been happy buying a used vehicle for $2-4k like I've done for every car I've ever owned.
C. I don't want to try and remember what each of us paid for, and be nitpicky like that.
D. If we actually split marital assets/money, she has a lot more money, as she makes more than and does not have any debt.

Also, she owes about 20k on the car. I'm concerned that she might lose her job after we part ways and I won't have the vehicle, but I will owe the debt. I was also told by my lawyer friend that I should get my name on the title.







standre said:


> If you've got to sell $50-$100 just to get a bit of cash you've got bigger issues than getting divorced.



I'm not sure what you mean by this? I'm not dead broke, but an extra $100 could always come in handy for divorce expenses.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

JukeboxHero said:


> Yes, we bought the vehicle after we got married. I think it's kinda odd that she's asking for money for this, considering...
> A. I paid for a lot of things to support us both when she first moved here and didn't have a job.
> B. She wanted to buy the vehicle from a dealership (meaning we would have car payments), I would've been happy buying a used vehicle for $2-4k like I've done for every car I've ever owned.
> C. I don't want to try and remember what each of us paid for, and be nitpicky like that.
> ...


If there are a lot of community assets, then just split them. Forget a the $3K. She's being silly.

I would first push hard for her to refinance the car. If she will not, see if you can get the loan company to either take your name off it or to take the car back with no hit on your credit rating.

Only put your name on the title if the above fails. How many years are left on the loan? You could be held responsible if she stops paying if you are on the loan. At least if your name is on the title, you can take the car and sell it.

Whatever you do, do not leave your name on the loan and not be on the title. She could drive off with the car and you'd have to still pay for it.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Chances are you are in a community property state. Half of all assets and half of all debts belong to you. How you apportion stuff and cash is just the details.

As Ele said, the only exceptions would be stuff you each brought into the marriage and which were kept separate. If she had an inheritance and kept it separate from family finances it is still hers. Even if you maintained separate bank accounts, likely everything you each earned and bought during the marriage is community property. Thus you don't owe her the $3000 back.

When all is settled out, you don't want your name attached to any object not in your sole possession. Tough nuggies on her if she loses the 0% interest rate on the car! You want your name off the title and off the loan. No two ways about it! Another option is to sell the car and pay off the loan, then split the cash left over. Don't keep your name on the loan. Don't do it.

I think you should consult with a real divorce atty. Most will give you 10 to 30 minutes free, and wil answer general questions about how things work where you live. Go see several. Find out what you are probably entitled to and what she is entitled to. Make her a solid offer, telling her it is your best offer. If she doesn't take it, you will proceed to reduce your offer down to what the law provides. Thus she will get less than you're offering now if she rejects it. If she continues to fight then the lawyers will get involved and there will be even less $ for her. Make sure she knows this.


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## JukeboxHero (Mar 3, 2015)

Thor said:


> Chances are you are in a community property state. Half of all assets and half of all debts belong to you. How you apportion stuff and cash is just the details.
> 
> As Ele said, the only exceptions would be stuff you each brought into the marriage and which were kept separate. If she had an inheritance and kept it separate from family finances it is still hers. Even if you maintained separate bank accounts, likely everything you each earned and bought during the marriage is community property. Thus you don't owe her the $3000 back.
> 
> ...



So, let's say she has a lot of money saved up in her accounts. I'll give you an example.

All of my accounts totaled $1k
All of her accounts $8k

So, I _could_ actually request half of her monies? I wouldn't, but if she wants to be all finicky about the car, then maybe I can bring that up. I think we should each split the possessions we bought together, not worry about who paid what.. and keep all of our individual money/accounts.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Whatever you two agree on is fine and will probably be acceptable to the judge.

The simple way to look at it is to total up your assets and your liabilities. Subtract the liabilities from the assets to get your net worth. You are each entitled to half that amount.

If she wants her car, the car is worth $X but there is a loan of $Y on it. If the difference is, say, $2k, she now has taken $2k of her share of the net worth. If you take your $1k bank account, you have taken $1K of your share. YOu are still owed $2k to get even with her. Either she gives you money or she takes more debt (e.g. a credit card with $1k owed on it).

But it sounds like your total worth isn't all that much. You've got clothes, maybe a stereo system, some furniture, your cars, a tv. If you just want your stuff, that is fine. But, don't give away the store just to make things go smoothly. Marriage is a partnership and you are entitled to half of everything. Even if the bank account is in her name, you are entitled to your share of it if it was money earned while you were married to her.

Good luck.


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## JukeboxHero (Mar 3, 2015)

Thor said:


> Whatever you two agree on is fine and will probably be acceptable to the judge.
> 
> The simple way to look at it is to total up your assets and your liabilities. Subtract the liabilities from the assets to get your net worth. You are each entitled to half that amount.
> 
> ...



You're probably right on point. Most of my possession were owned prior to our marriage. I have my own PC, some collectible games; MTG, 40k, etc. I've also sold quite a bit of them in previous years and put them towards different bills and expenses. AFAIK, these things would be MINE exclusively

So far, I think this is how I would see it breaking down.

I would get
My PC
My Bed
My Games/hobby stuff
====All owned before marriage======
2010 Toy Rav4 
Small TV
Dresser w/ clothes
Small Folding Table
Bookshelf
Paddleboard (we split the cost)



She would get
2015 Toy Camry
Large TV
Sound Bar
her Paddleboard
Sub-woofer
Paddleboard (she bought)


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## Ol'Pal (Aug 24, 2015)

JukeboxHero said:


> You're probably right on point. Most of my possession were owned prior to our marriage. I have my own PC, some collectible games; MTG, 40k, etc. I've also sold quite a bit of them in previous years and put them towards different bills and expenses. AFAIK, these things would be MINE exclusively
> 
> So far, I think this is how I would see it breaking down.
> 
> ...


If that is really all you own, its not even worth worrying about. Minus the cars, you guys dont really have anything to be fighting about.

lots of debt?


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## JukeboxHero (Mar 3, 2015)

Ol'Pal said:


> If that is really all you own, its not even worth worrying about. Minus the cars, you guys dont really have anything to be fighting about.
> 
> lots of debt?


I have student loan debt (before marriage)+ a small amount on the Rav4 and she has the amount owed on her car. I would estimate both of us are in about 20k of debt.


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## Ol'Pal (Aug 24, 2015)

JukeboxHero said:


> I have student loan debt (before marriage)+ a small amount on the Rav4 and she has the amount owed on her car. I would estimate both of us are in about 20k of debt.


No sweat then. Go about your ways, each taking about 10k worth of debt with you. I'll guess that your student loan debt is on you though.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Student debt is yours. It is totally separate and not part of the division of the other stuff. Aside from the cars, the other stuff is close enough that it certainly isn't worth fighting over in court.

With the cars, the main thing to remember is that the title and the loan should only be in the name of the person who ends up with the car. You don't want any strings attaching you to her car. If she is sued for running over somebody, you don't want to be a co-owner of the car and get pulled into the law suit. And you don't want to be on the loan for her car because you become fully responsible for it. If she stops paying, you have to pay it. Your credit will get demolished if she defaults.

There is probably a pretty big difference in the values of the 2 vehicles. You said there are small loans, so I presume the value of your car minus what you owe on it is less than the value of her car minus her loan. Iow, she ends up with a bigger chunk of value out of the divorce than you do because her car is worth more.

One way to solve this is for her to give you cash to make up the difference, but it sounds like that cash doesn't exist. So the next alternative is to sell the cars and split the cash. Then you can each buy whatever vehicle you want, with or without loans, using the cash. Another alternative is to not worry about the difference in money and just each take your own car. The question is how much of a difference in money would it be to you, and are you willing to do that?

Do you have an idea how much each car is worth and what the loan is on each? If so you can calculate how much money is involved.

Example: Your Rav4 is worth $7k and you owe $2k. Net value is $5k. Her Camry is worth $12k and she owes $2k, for a net value of $10k. Added together both cars have a net value of $15k, and thus you are each entitled to half which is $7500. She should be giving you $2500 cash to make up the difference. If she doesn't give you the $2500, she is getting more than her share. That's not a trivial amount of money but the question is how much effort and anguish would be involved in getting this sorted out evenly?


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

Thor said:


> With the cars, the main thing to remember is that the title and the loan should only be in the name of the person who ends up with the car. You don't want any strings attaching you to her car. If she is sued for running over somebody, you don't want to be a co-owner of the car and get pulled into the law suit. And you don't want to be on the loan for her car because you become fully responsible for it. If she stops paying, you have to pay it. Your credit will get demolished if she defaults.


This is so true. My XWW went drunk driving and crashed her car 3 weeks after our divorce. The title and loan were only in her name. It's 100% her problem. For my car and house I removed her name from the titles, so any legal problems she gets into won't put my assets at risk. Also make sure to separate your car insurance policy, and while you are at it change beneficiaries on your bank accounts, retirement accounts, and life insurance accounts. I personally kept the life insurance policy on my XWW, but had her transfer the ownership of the policy to me (it's a simple form through the insurance company) so I could ensure I was in charge of the beneficiary designation.


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## Principal (Mar 21, 2013)

Alimony


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## JukeboxHero (Mar 3, 2015)

Thor said:


> Example: Your Rav4 is worth $7k and you owe $2k. Net value is $5k. Her Camry is worth $12k and she owes $2k, for a net value of $10k. Added together both cars have a net value of $15k, and thus you are each entitled to half which is $7500. She should be giving you $2500 cash to make up the difference. If she doesn't give you the $2500, she is getting more than her share. That's not a trivial amount of money but the question is how much effort and anguish would be involved in getting this sorted out evenly?



In this case, the Rav4 is worth more in Net Value. I almost have it paid off, so it's net value is about 10k (12k value, 2k owed). Her Camry, on the other hand is worth less than she paid (Since she bought it new) and it's worth about -4k. Worth 16k, 20k owed. These are rough figures based off what I recall her telling me on her vehicle and checking KBB.


Another thing I was considering is finding a job that would increase my pay, from about 40k to probably 50k. My friend who was discussing his dissolution said I might want to hold off on that.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Yes hold off on the new better paying job until the divorce is finalized.

With the cars, it all comes down to math. First separate out all the stuff you each brought into the marriage. That stuff is yours and stays yours. The rest of it just add up the fair market value for a total, then subtract out the total of all the debts. Whatever number that is, you each get half of it. It doesn't have to be exactly half, but something which you feel is fair and acceptable. 

You should talk to a lawyer. They probably have a simple form for you to take home and fill out. Once that is done you just start assigning stuff to you or to her until you are both happy that you have the things you want and the deal is fair. Again, it doesn't have to be equal, just something you both feel is fair and acceptable.

If you don't want to use a lawyer, you can easily do this yourself. Just write down all the stuff which is yours and which is hers from before the marriage. Hopefully you agree on it, and you each take your own stuff. That stuff is no longer an issue. Also write down stuff with no real $ value but still useful or desired, such as music CDs or old furniture. You can't get any real $ for them if you sold them, but one or the other of you might want them and get use from them. You each keep your own student debt, too. All of these things are now accounted for and no longer are part of your calculations and negotiations.

Next write down all the bank accounts and debts. Write down all the stuff of any $ value like cars, tv, nice furniture, kitchen equipment. These are things which not only have value but which are necessary. If one of you takes the dishes, the other will have to buy dishes. So there is $ involved with stuff on this list. On one side of the list you total up all the value. On the other side of the list total up all the debts. Subtract the debts from the value, and this is what you each get half of.

Your car is a net $10k to you. Her car is a net -$4k. This is possibly a problem if the rest of your assets and debts don't add up so that you can get to the same number for each of you. You can take credit card debts while she takes cash. While it may seem unfair, mathematically you both end up in the same place when all is done.

If your cars were considered separate financially from the marriage, you might argue that the cars shouldn't enter into the calculations. That might be a hard sell but it could be a negotiating position for you to start with.


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## sapientia (Nov 24, 2012)

Principal said:


> Alimony


Agreed. Tho if the marriage was short and she can work, she may not be entitled.

Are there kids involved? If so, you need a lawyer to ensure fair visitation, child support, clauses for moving, etc.


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## jdawg2015 (Feb 12, 2015)

sapientia said:


> Agreed. Tho if the marriage was short and she can work, she may not be entitled.
> 
> Are there kids involved? If so, you need a lawyer to ensure fair visitation, child support, clauses for moving, etc.


If she is making more and has more assets and the marriage was of any length, SHE could be PAYING him.

OP, sound like you have no kids and no real estate/property to split correct? 

You're free!! lol

Get her to sign and uncontested divorce and agree who to split the debt and you guys can part ways....


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## sapientia (Nov 24, 2012)

jdawg2015 said:


> If she is making more and has more assets and the marriage was of any length, SHE could be PAYING him.


Yep... child support and alimony certainly goes both ways.


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## JukeboxHero (Mar 3, 2015)

jdawg2015 said:


> If she is making more and has more assets and the marriage was of any length, SHE could be PAYING him.
> 
> OP, sound like you have no kids and no real estate/property to split correct?
> 
> ...


I talked to my lawyer, and he said neither one of us would get alimony, but I make less, so I would be more qualified than she would be...

But yeah, I don't even think we'll get into the financial accounts, 401k or anything like that. I hope it will be as easy as; Get the cars refinanced, put them under the appropriate owner's name, split our shared possessions (TV, furniture, electronics, etc) and of course probably take our own personal possessions (even though some were purchased during our marriage (i.e. her paddleboard and some of my gaming stuff)


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## JukeboxHero (Mar 3, 2015)

Hey Everyone,

So, things are not going well with my situation at the moment.

W decided she will NOT refi the car under a "dissolution". Instead, she threatens that the only way we can do a refi is if we do a Divorce, in which case, she claims I will have to pay for half of her car (10K) and that my wages could be garnished for that.
I told her, if we go through a divorce, I could also claim half of her 401k and Savings account. She announced that she'll be withdrawing all of her money from her savings account as she goes to the Philippines.

She claims that she feels it's not fair that she should refinance and lose her 0% interest rate (plus she's concerned about the ding on her credit) after she's put lots of financial support into helping me pay off the Rav4 and she also says she put money towards some other loans, so again--says it's not FAIR to her.

I mentioned that I really needed her to Refi because it could be a huge risk if something happened to her and she couldn't make payments OR if she hit someone and got sued. 

She called me Selfish (yeah, because, I'm ONLY thinking about myself--but she's not selfish--being worried about paying a 2% loan and a minor ding on her credit when she refi's)

Also, she keeps bringing up that she would "win" or get money from me somehow because of my lack of ability to "Consummate" our marriage. When she says "Consummate", she means provide her with children--which is again, because I couldn't orgasm inside her--so in her opinion, we never really had sex.

Even though our sex life was decent to good the first few years of our marriage, it gradually declined for various reasons. 

I told her that doesn't have ANYTHING to do with Divorce. She claims I wasn't upholding my wedding vows.

At this point, it seems like my ONLY recourse is to either file for Divorce, or settle for just writing in some language in the dissolution where I wouldn't be responsible for her car. 

At this point. I think a divorce would hurt me. I'm not sure what she has in her savings and 401k, but I'm going to guess at these numbers..and I think it's close.

My account 

All financial accounts (checking and Savings)
Mine --------------------------------------Hers
1k 7k
401k
6k---------------------------------------- 12k

-----------------------------------------------------
Car Value
2010 Rav4 2014 Toy Camry XLE
12k---------------------------------------- 16k
Car Debt
2k-----------------------------------------20k

Asset 10k Liability 4k


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## xxrockmexx92 (Nov 1, 2015)

I can honestly tell you that if you are getting a divorce, you need to talk to a lawyer about everything that could go wrong. Also, do not let her file first. She will be in control. The only reason I know this is because a friend of ours is going through the same thing right now. The only difference is that he has children.

Can she lose her citizenship status at this point? It seems like she used you to get here.

I suggest that you get any assets that are yours settled up before a divorce happens. Her lawyer can argue that she helped you purchase things even if she wasn't working or contributing any actual money towards the things that you own.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

JukeboxHero said:


> All financial accounts (checking and Savings)
> Mine --------------------------------------Hers
> 1k 7k
> 401k
> ...


Based on your numbers, you have $7k of cash assets, she has $19k. Your car has a net value of $10k, hers a net value of -$4k.

So you have $17k of total assets and she has $15k. You're only $2k apart from each other.

So the solution is for her to eat the $2k, or for you to somehow give her $2k. You could borrow from your 401k but I would view that as a last resort. You could offer to pay all the divorce expenses. You could give her $2k in cash when she signs the divorce papers. Use a credit card or take out a personal loan from your credit union. Don't get a payday or title loan!

If you think you are in agreement on all the other possessions then you really are very close to solving this.

To f'n bad if she has to refinance and pay a higher interest rate. You're going to have to suffer some, too, if you have to borrow to pay her the $2k difference. Nobody walks away from a divorce without it costing something.

She has numerous options which are up to her on how to deal with the car. She could borrow from her 401k. She could sell it and take out a personal loan to cover the loss. She could trade it in on another car and get 0% financing on that one. Really it isn't your problem to solve for her. It isn't your fault she is upside down in her car!

I would stick to the simple numbers.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Get a lawyer. File the papers through him/her. With your situation being what it is, the judge will likely award each of you your own cars, order her to remove you from the loan, and split any other marital debts. It shouldn't be too costly and the money you spend now getting yourself out from under her car debt could save your credit and wallet in the future should she default.


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

Remember that a messy divorce with lawyers is going to cost you more than the couple thousand dollars that you are arguing about. A cheap divorce attorney where you both agree on everything and don't have kids will probably still cost you $1500-2000. See if she'd be willing to do mediation since it is cheaper than a legal battle. With your assets and situation it would probably be quick, simple, and cheap.


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## JukeboxHero (Mar 3, 2015)

xxrockmexx92 said:


> I can honestly tell you that if you are getting a divorce, you need to talk to a lawyer about everything that could go wrong. Also, do not let her file first. She will be in control. The only reason I know this is because a friend of ours is going through the same thing right now. The only difference is that he has children.
> 
> Can she lose her citizenship status at this point? It seems like she used you to get here.
> 
> I suggest that you get any assets that are yours settled up before a divorce happens. Her lawyer can argue that she helped you purchase things even if she wasn't working or contributing any actual money towards the things that you own.


Thanks, Rockme.

Just so we're clear..I don't want you to think this is going to be a big divorce with multiple lawyers. At this time, we're trying to do a mutual divorce or separation. I'm not sure who's going to file first. I think/hope we can come up with an agreement that doesn't involve lawyers since we barely own enough possessions (outside of our cars) to even make divorce worth it. 



Thor said:


> Based on your numbers, you have $7k of cash assets, she has $19k. Your car has a net value of $10k, hers a net value of -$4k.
> 
> So you have $17k of total assets and she has $15k. You're only $2k apart from each other.
> 
> ...


Thanks, Thor. 

I have some good news (I think) when it comes to refinancing the car. We had a discussion about the car situation. I told her that if she wanted to keep me on the title/loan, I would need to hire a lawyer to "write" the scripting to claim I wouldn't be held accountable or rather I would be "held harmless". Also, my lawyer would add a clause that would say if she stopped making payments, I could take control of the situation so I wouldn't be screwed or owe anything (more details than that, but it's not too important)

I also mentioned that if I had a pay a lawyer to file the fees, I would like her to pay the costs of filing for dissolution (both would be around $200-$300)

Lastly, I mentioned that we would need to meet again when she goes to sell the car or if she wants to put it in her name down the road.

THAT seems to be what got her. She said she wanted a "No strings attached" separation. I agreed whole-heartedly

With that on the table, it seems she's agreed to refinance through her bank/credit union and ideally she could get a 1.99% APR (like what she has on my Rav4. What I think will happen is this; She's in the Philippines right now. When she comes back, we're going to go to her bank (at some point) and I will likely pay off the remaining balance on my Rav4, and switch it to my name. Then, she'll refi her car under her name only. 



*Now, here's another BIG thing that I need to get some advice on.*

After she took off on her plane going to the PH, I met with one of my friends who had FINALLY Come up with the money he OWED to me from a debt LONG ago. So again, this is a debt from BEFORE we got married. 
He gave me a Certified Check totaling 3.5k. Certified check means the money will always be in that account and I don't have to fear cashing it at a bad time and the account not having the funds, but it also means that if I lose the check, I lost 3K in cash.
Since this was a debt prior to our marriage, I don't think we have to add it our assets, but I'm still worried about some complications.
1. My W claims she paid off part of the loan that my friend owed me. I personally don't remember if she did or how much she would have paid. I know we worked together to finish it off when it came near the final payment. I don't know how she contributed, though.

I'm concerned she'll try to get me to pay her back some of that money, or use it as leverage against me when it come to splitting our possessions/assets.

My lawyer friend and a few other friends have told me I should NOT tell her about it. At this point, she doesn't know I've been paid back, she only knows that he owed me money, and she lost all faith that he would ever pay me back.

So, I'm considering the following options.

1. Regardless of what I do, I'm going to make sure my wife agrees that we are each keeping ALL of our financial accounts and debts separated. I don't want to take her from her 401k or savings (even though I could potentially profit). Likely, I would also try to get both cars refinanced and put in our respective names before dissolution as well. This will probably be more beneficial to her than to me.

2. I can either deposit the check in my savings account (which is password locked she couldn't check it on her own, but she might end up seeing it if/when we look at budgets together).
Or
3. Cash the check and hide the cash from her or Keep the check. (I have a friend who would be willing to hold onto it)
or 
4. Keep the check safe somewhere (same as above) and cash it after divorce/dissolution has been finalized.

Regardless of what I do for the above, I'm guessing I'll have to list it on the court issued paperwork asking for all debts and account-balances. I'm not sure if I should list it as a debt or what.

Lastly, the guy who paid me the debt advised that I cash the check instead of depositing it because he felt it could be considered by the IRS as "income". I'm not sure if I would have to worry about that since its' technically a debt being repaid. Also, once the finances have been finalized, I want to use most of the check to put towards my student loans.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

No, a debt repayment is not income unless you wrote it off previously on your taxes as a loss due to being an uncollectible debt.

I don't think you want to commit any kind of fraud or perjury by hiding the money. If you sign a court document which supposedly lists all your assets but don't claim this money, you have committed a crime. If discovered it could cause you a lot of problems.

One option is for you to give the check back to the guy and ask him to hold on to it safely for the next few months until the divorce is all signed off. You would claim the debt as still existing if you have to file a financial statement with the court. Since the debt was from before the marriage it should have no effect on the settlement, so you aren't screwing your wife out of money by claiming the debt.

Nor would you be screwing her out of money by cashing the check but claiming it as an asset from before the marriage. If you do cash the check, put the cash into a separate account. Never let it touch your current accounts in any way. Banks may write your current bank account number on the back of the check and then hand you the cash. Don't do this! Either deposit it into an entirely new account, or take it to your buddy's bank and have them cash it for you. The bank that wrote the check will cash it for you even if you don't have an account there.

So either return the check and list the debt, or cash the check and list the cash. Either way put it down as existing before the marriage. Imo, returning the check and claiming the debt is a cleaner easier path for you.


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## JukeboxHero (Mar 3, 2015)

Thanks Thor. I talked to a couple of lawyers. 1 suggested returning it. The other 2 said to deposit in a different account is better legally. . One mentioned that if we're splitting our accounts she could ask for a portion because it was paid off during our marriage. However, I don't think this will be an issue since we plan on keeping all accounts separate and she has more in her accounts.


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