# Mid forties dating and running out of time



## gulfwarvet

I am finally thinking about dating in the upcoming year after being seperated since 2009.Seems to me after about age 45 the amount of women who want to date you dwindles rapidly I am basing this on match.com really makes me wonder am I running out of time?


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## Orpheus

a: manage your expectations. date to date not to achieve a goal.

b: where are you at geographically?

c: the dating pool probably decreases significantly 30-35 would be my guess. but i know know numbers. interesting...


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## gulfwarvet

I'm about 75 miles from Minneapolis/St.Paul-at age 45 I'm in a position where locally things are slim pretty much resigned myself to the idea if I don't find a significant other in 5 years probably won't happen-but who knows- want to know what others in my age category think?


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## Holland

Just get out there, sure it is a numbers game but you only need to find one right woman.

45 is still young and a great age to be  You may find that women 35 plus will be looking in your age bracket. IME women tend to go for men 5 plus years older.

My partner is in his early 50's and is 6 years older than me, we are a great match.

All the best to you, enjoy


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## Orpheus

it's more than just age. 45 is still young enough. but really you shouldn't be meeting people based on wether or not they are going to be your life partner/soul mate. just meet people.

Dating sites might be slim in your area if the community is thin. I know north and south of Mpls but not west. I'm guessing quasi rural, right?

You might be much MUCH better off trying to find out where the single women in your area like to hang out and do activities than just looking for the ones that go online. Or, widen your range and see if looking closer to the twin cities helps.

in any event. you're as old as you feel.


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## Orpheus

btw, thank you for your service to our country. it took me a moment to decipher your name.


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## Corpuswife

It depends....I never expected much from dating.

I put myself out there, after my divorce, and ended up finding my fiance. 

Approach dating with an open mind. Put your best foot forward, smile, and be yourself.


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## Freak On a Leash

gulfwarvet said:


> I am finally thinking about dating in the upcoming year after being seperated since 2009.Seems to me after about age 45 the amount of women who want to date you dwindles rapidly I am basing this on match.com really makes me wonder am I running out of time?


Running out of time for what? To start a family? To get remarried?  :scratchhead:

Based on the number of 40+ women I know who are looking to get out and date I'd say you don't have to worry. Just go out and have a good time.


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## COguy

There are so many women in their forties around here that are single it's crazy. But honestly, it sounds like you're already on the wrong foot if you're anxious to be getting tied down.

xkcd: Dating Pools


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## nice777guy

Have you limited your age range? Are you open to dating older women?

And online dating is just one way to go about things. Keep yourself active and get out of the house. Still plenty of "natural" ways to meet people.

I finally found a local "social" group on Meetup.com - but they were only open to 45 and above! Seems the only other active groups in my area are stay at home Mom's and political groups.


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## SingleInTx

Mid-40's is NOT old. I'm not even 30 but would never consider dating a guy under 35 or so, based on my past experiences with maturity levels, life experience, etc. I mean there MAY be an exception or 2 out there but I haven't found it/him yet


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## Freak On a Leash

nice777guy said:


> I finally found a local "social" group on Meetup.com - but they were only open to 45 and above!


Maybe it's where you are but in my area I've seen Meetups for 20, 30, 40 year olds. Most of the social Meetups I belong to have no age limits or restrictions. I will say that most who belong are in the over 40-60 age bracket but I believe it's because those in their 20s and 30s have so many other avenues to socialize in and many are busy with younger kids. 

I know that when I was in my 30s I had 2 little kids and could barely get out of the house by myself to go shopping, never mind to go to a bar or restaurant. Now that my kids are older I have a LOT more free time to go out and have fun. 

I find hobbies are good ways to meet people. I've always been a very hobby oriented person and have met people over the years through my car clubs, kayaking, hiking, etc. Don't over look places like church groups, if that's your sort of thing. My daughter was a member of her church youth group and met a lot of friends through it.


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## Freak On a Leash

SingleInTx said:


> Mid-40's is NOT old. I'm not even 30 but would never consider dating a guy under 35 or so, based on my past experiences with maturity levels, life experience, etc.


That's funny because I've often thought I need a guy who is around 35 because we'd have more in common and he'd be able to keep up with me. 

Hate to say it, but a lot of older guys just get worn out too easily. Plus they don't like my kind of music, which can be a drag when it comes to going out and seeing a concert.


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## Anubis

No, you're not running out of time, but you still should get a move on it. (because you never know how long you have here on this earth to enjoy everything).

I found that my 40s were the time of my life when I had far more women who wanted to date me than when I was in my teens and 20s (out of action while married from mid 20s until 40s). 

Age wise, while in my 40s, I dated women in their 20s to women in their 50s, and found good and bad was fairly evenly distributed. That ended when I found the girl I'm going to marry  (FWIW, she was in her 20s when I met her).

One thing though, I believe that how you present yourself will make a big difference in your dating success. Being confident and strong, and stable and successful will make you look real good. Being unreliable and timid will scare the ladies off. True at 20, even more so at 45.


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## Freak On a Leash

Anubis said:


> No, you're not running out of time, but you still should get a move on it. (because you never know how long you have here on this earth to enjoy everything)..


Well, if he has THAT attitude he should just remain single! :rofl:


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## Crankshaw

bahhh humbug, I am 54, and have just started seeing a woman.


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## EnjoliWoman

Gee... I didn't realize I was at the end of the line. Guess I should find someone before my birthday in April or it will be too late to every find love! *sigh*


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## sharkeey

gulfwarvet said:


> I am finally thinking about dating in the upcoming year after being seperated since 2009.Seems to me after about age 45 the amount of women who want to date you dwindles rapidly I am basing this on match.com really makes me wonder am I running out of time?


I separated in 2006, moved out in 2009.

I started dating for the first time in over 20 years at the end of 2006 (actually I started dating shortly before I moved out). With a few exceptions, I have met all of these women online, via POF, Match, OKC and Jdate. 

Lots of attractive, sexy, fit women within 5-10 years of my age, mostly younger but some a few years older. I've been in a few long term relationships up to 2 years, I'm in one now about a year, and these women are sexual, experienced, uninhibited and there are even a few without serious mental issues. I haven't been single for more than a couple of months in the past 7 years. I'm not bragging, well maybe I am a bit, but the point is there's lots of choices out there for guys in our age group, assuming we're in good shape, reasonably attractive, with no major mental issues, and we've got at least enough money to take her nice places.

I'm 50.


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## Hoosier

Dont know what you mean by end of... but I am 53 divorced 1.5 years after 30 year marriage. So I have no experience dating from 17 years of age to 52 cant compare to there...I am sure it is based a bit on where you live, but I was totally amazed at the number of very nice women who were available to date. I believe in the early years the young ladies have the call, but be attractive, attentive and not a jerk, and the momentum swings to you big time. Your dating life is not over, may just be kicking into high gear!


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## Freak On a Leash

I think Papa Roach said it best:

_You say I’m looking really bad
You say I’m looking really sick
And I don’t even care
I never really did

So when push comes to shove
And I slap you in the face
Just remember one thing

When it's time you fill the void
My whole life has been destroyed
And everyone around me says
My time is running out

I refuse to surrender
I refuse to surrender

So when I’m out of control
And I’m out of my mind
Just remember one thing
I think I’m just fine_


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## purelife

As long as you feel it is the right time to date go for it. Dont limit yourself or sell yourself short..You probably have many wonderful things to bring to a new relationship be open and honest..best of luck..wish you well..


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