# Why do some females act like this?



## spunkycat08 (Nov 14, 2013)

When I was dating my future husband, some of his female friends told him that I was not good enough for him.

Yet they could not give concrete answers as to why.

When we got engaged, neither of them was happy.

When we got married, it was more obvious that neither was happy.

Why do some females act like this?


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

Maybe they thought you weren't a good match, but couldn't form the words to explain exactly why(just a feeling they had)? Maybe it was jealousy? Maybe it was something else? 

There are infinite possibilities for why they acted the way they did. If you don't care what they think(I'm assuming you don't since you got married anyways), then you need to let it go. There is no reason to keep thinking about it, as you're wasting your time trying to figure it out.


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## spunkycat08 (Nov 14, 2013)

Anonymous07 said:


> Maybe they thought you weren't a good match, but couldn't form the words to explain exactly why(just a feeling they had)? Maybe it was jealousy? Maybe it was something else?
> 
> There are infinite possibilities for why they acted the way they did. If you don't care what they think(I'm assuming you don't since you got married anyways), then you need to let it go. There is no reason to keep thinking about it, as you're wasting your time trying to figure it out.


Ok...

Well... he did end up marrying me and not one of them.

I should feel lucky and happy.


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

Did you ever get along with these women to begin with?


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## bABI (Apr 29, 2014)

it could also be possible they've invested their hopes that he'd choose one of them, but he went 'outside' his circle of female friends and settled with you.
Good thing is, you did not give them a reason. One mistake from you, and they have their arsenal full of 'valid' reasons why you're not good enough.
Married happy life spunkycat
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Omego (Apr 17, 2013)

Could be jealousy, pure and simple. As the previous poster said, maybe they had hopes that he would choose either of them?

But why do you care? Has this caused trouble between you and your H?


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## spunkycat08 (Nov 14, 2013)

bkaydezz said:


> Did you ever get along with these women to begin with?


The first female was a neighbor of my now husband. We were cordial to each other, but we never became friends.

The second female was an ex of my now husband whom I never met.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

They could have been jealous and thought you might change their relationship with your future husband.


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## spunkycat08 (Nov 14, 2013)

bABI said:


> it could also be possible they've invested their hopes that he'd choose one of them, but he went 'outside' his circle of female friends and settled with you.
> Good thing is, you did not give them a reason. One mistake from you, and they have their arsenal full of 'valid' reasons why you're not good enough.
> Married happy life spunkycat
> _Posted via Mobile Device_[/QUOTE
> ...


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Maybe they didn't like you and/or thought you were bad for him; or maybe they wanted him for themself.

No way to know without being inside their head.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

spunkycat08 said:


> Based on their behavior while we were dating, I do believe that both of them wanted him to chose them instead of me.


So then you have the answer.


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

spunkycat08 said:


> The first female was a neighbor of my now husband. We were cordial to each other, but we never became friends.
> 
> The second female was an ex of my now husband whom I never met.


Number 1 is ok. Neighbor, don't really think to much on that. HOWEVER, 
Number 2 What? I think I missed how you are to be compared to an ex's opinion anyways.

Please understand that you do not need to sum yourself up of worthiness based on a jealous old ex!! OH NO! 

I hope he does not have anything to do with her still, that would be so ignorant.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Not just females, humans do.

We are selfish and hateful creatures. We "unite" under one cause but hate for another......when it's convenient for us.

For example, most women will look out for each other and stick together, yet they pull the sort of thing as per OP.

I don't agree with ANY kind of identity that separates people. Color, gender, country borders, sports team......any of that crap. Take it all away and people will hate you for hair color, eye color.......height.......**** just never ends. 

Our government loves this stuff though. It keeps us busy and fighting each other, all while we ignore the big things that are happening all around us.

:scratchhead:

As advanced and modern today's humans are.....we are still these primitive animal creatures deep inside, and completely ass backwards, let's face it.

Look at this world and what we have done to it. Human race is completely messed up. We can't even take care of one another, everyone is trying to get ahead and will screw the next guy over at all cost.

I don't really want to sound too negative. There is plenty of great people out there I've met over the years.....but majority of us, wow, we are completely screwed up, I'm sorry.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

Why do you care about some old neighbor and your husband's ex? 

I'm assuming they are not apart of your life and if they are, why?


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

Please reconsider your definition of friend. These seem in a category of acquaintances. A "true friend" would have nothing but support and love for you/him and your relationship.


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## spunkycat08 (Nov 14, 2013)

Omego said:


> Could be jealousy, pure and simple. As the previous poster said, maybe they had hopes that he would choose either of them?
> 
> But why do you care? Has this caused trouble between you and your H?


This happened after my husband, I, a female friend of his, and a male friend of his went out to dinner last Friday.

My husband has known this particular female friend since the mid 1990's. Both of them were in their early twenties when they met. He met her through the male friend. All three of them worked for the same employer.

I met my future husband in 2012.

His female friend became interested in his male friend after meeting him, and they began dating. They dated off and on. At some point they chose to just be friends.

Years ago my husband and his female friend dated for a couple of months. They realized that their dating relationship was not working, and so they chose to be friends instead.

When he and I became a couple, he let his female friend and his male friend know that he was in a serious dating relationship. This was in 2012. All four of us would hang out either at his female friends place or at his male friends place.

One time while we were hanging out at his female friends place, she mentioned the fact that she wished that she had a man in her life. A couple of days later my **then boyfriend** received a text from him letting him know that she wanted him to come over to her place alone on a Friday night to 1) hang stuff from her ceiling, 2) have dinner with her, 3) watch tv, 4) stay up late talking, 5) spend the night on her couch while she slept in her bedroom, and 6) go out for breakfast the following morning.

I let him know at that time that I was not comfortable with the entire get together since she knew at that time that he was in a serious dating relationship. He let her know that. I let him know that I felt more comfortable with his just hanging stuff from her ceiling and then going home since that was the *main **reason *why she wanted him to come over. He let her know that, but she insisted that the entire get together was *not *a date. I just did not feel comfortable about the entire get together. He ended up cancelling their get together. 

He found out later on that 1) she was mad at him and 2) she was not talking to him for a while.

I wondered if she missed the idea of dating when we became a couple, and so she arranged a "pretend date" with him while insisting that the entire get together was "not a date".

I just do not understand why a long-time female friend would do this... especially when she knows that her male friend is in a serious dating relationship.


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## the2ofus (Jan 28, 2014)

That's okay 18 years ago my husband had a female friend that was having a party for her husband and said I wasn't invited ( we were engaged). I had never even met this woman but she didn't think I was "the right one", my husband told her that if he was coming to the party I was coming with him. I think she said okay cause she didn't want to have to explain to her husband why his best friend wasn't there. She told him that within 5 years he would regret that he married me (all before she met me). He's still happy he married me 18 yrs later.


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## marry458 (Mar 17, 2014)

Sounds interesting


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