# Bad day :(



## Peeps678 (May 21, 2013)

Today I'm really needing to vent. Im in the process of packing up the house because we (the kids and I) are moving back in with my parents in 2 1/2 weeks. My soon to be ex and I sold the house and closing is July 19th. Im stressing something fierce right now. My ex and I have a really good relationship, we really have no animosity with eachother. We get along better now than when we were together. I'm just so frustrated that he has barely helped pack anything and im so overwhelmed right now. I literally just sat in my piles of stuff im going through and cried. It's the first time I cried about anything having to do with the divorce in months. I don't know how to get him to help more with the packing...it wasn't just me that lived here for 9 years. Im focusing most right now on packing up the kids things and my stuff, and not so much on his things, but it's still rather frustrating to see all these things that have to get packed up. How the heck am I going to get everything packed up and finished in 2 1/2 weeks?? *sigh*


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## doureallycare2 (Dec 10, 2012)

Quite frankly I wouldn’t stress about it. Its fortunate that you have a good relationship with your stbxh, most on here do not. 

Maybe you can get some family or friends to help you pack everything up.


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## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

Peeps678 said:


> Im focusing most right now on packing up the kids things and my stuff, and not so much on his things


If he's not helping, I wouldn't pack anything of his. Let him do his stuff.

Moving can be VERY stressful in itself...throw divorce on top of that and yeah, you can stress out. Take a break. Don't go hours and hours packing without stopping and doing something else for a bit.

Good luck.


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## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

Pack for you & the kids - don't worry about his things. Packing up and moving is a really big job but to do it under these circumstances makes it worse. I'm sure as you go through things there are things that bring back memories. My daughter moved out this weekend & there were quite a few times I had to leave the room. Not only because shes my oldest & the first to go but as she went through her stuff there were pictures & objects that brought up happier times. Sometimes to walk away for a bit & clear you head will give you the break you need to be able to finish the job.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

At this point I'm not sure why this is so upsetting.

But, pain like you're experiencing is usually a trailhead to unresolved issues and anger.

I'd go deep and think it over.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

To clarify...

I had items of my husbands that I refused to pack like all his work files that were in the attic. I didn't care if they got left there or not and I wasn't about to deal with that so I didn't.

I didn't pack the garage but provided tubs and showed him how to pack those items up.

I did pack his closet but that was about it.

He procrastinated but in the 11th hour he did get it done.

I packed most everything with these exceptions.


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

I agree with the others -- it's not just packing to move, but it's separating your things as your packing (I'm guessing). Both are tough in and of themselves, and you're trying to do both, without help.

How old are your kids? Can they help at all? Even if they're young, and it's maybe not as organized as you'd like, let them help you -- and if they don't want to, make them help you.

Two years ago at exactly this time, I was packing to move out of the house I shared with Ex. Separating 14 years of belongings. Of course, since he was staying behind, he didn't have to pack anything, but he didn't help move, either. When I had stuff of his, I repacked it nicely for him. I ended up in the hospital from trying to do it myself. I didn't want to bother people and ask them for help. Don't do what I did.

Ask for help -- this time, when I moved out of my rental and into the house i bought, I put an invite out to my FB friends and asked for help. I had treats and drinks for everyone, and I got tremendous help. You'll find that people are happy to help when you ask and when you let them. Except for the STBXs --- and that's probably indicative of why they're STBXs. 

Let yourself feel the emotions and give yourself a break.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Mavash. said:


> To clarify...
> 
> I had items of my husbands that I refused to pack like all his work files that were in the attic. I didn't care if they got left there or not and I wasn't about to deal with that so I didn't.
> 
> ...


I would imagine packing because your wife is moving out is a bit emotional for him too.


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## Peeps678 (May 21, 2013)

Conrad said:


> At this point I'm not sure why this is so upsetting.
> 
> But, pain like you're experiencing is usually a trailhead to unresolved issues and anger.
> 
> I'd go deep and think it over.


Umm...its because i have an ENTIRE house to do on my own. After he's told me he'd help. And I never said it was upsetting..i said i was overwhelmed. Any normal person would feel overwhelmed when it comes to packing. Everyone just handles it differently. 

The only unresolved issue that we have....is lighting a fire under his ass to get him to do things...which has always been an issue the entire marriage. Its nothing more than that. THere's nothing more to think over.


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## Peeps678 (May 21, 2013)

angelpixie said:


> I agree with the others -- it's not just packing to move, but it's separating your things as your packing (I'm guessing). Both are tough in and of themselves, and you're trying to do both, without help.
> 
> How old are your kids? Can they help at all? Even if they're young, and it's maybe not as organized as you'd like, let them help you -- and if they don't want to, make them help you.
> 
> ...


My girls are almost 8 and 5. They've packed up stuff in their rooms. I purposely left that for them. And...yeah...the boxes just have stuff thrown in it. But..its one less thing I gotta worry about!  

I've mentioned to some family about helping, and they said they would, now its just on how to coordinate to get people over in the next few weeks. I think if I offer pizza and beer that will be the fastest way to get anyone to come help. :rofl:


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## bravenewworld (Mar 24, 2013)

I'd help friend/family move for pizza and beer. Don't forget the music! Sorry you are stressed, sometimes a good cry is relieving. Focus on taking care of yourself and the rest will all into place. Sending positive energy your way Peeps!


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## BFGuru (Jan 28, 2013)

Don't pack a single item of his. He is not your concern anymore. If the new owners move in to find his crap everywhere, simply defer them to him. You do not need to deal with his laziness on top of moving.


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## Pbartender (Dec 6, 2012)

Peeps678 said:


> I think if I offer pizza and beer that will be the fastest way to get anyone to come help. :rofl:


I'm in. :toast:


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