# Attempted Spontaneity.



## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

We haven't had sex in a while, but have had multiple times where one of us has tried to make it happen, but the other has not wanted to recently. So tonight I am trying to make it happen. 
Encouraging text messages followed by suggestive ones. Now if only she will actually get home from work and help make it happen. At the same time I wish I could get her to have sex without any mention of trying to get pregnant, that is a mood killer.


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## TrustInUs (Sep 9, 2012)

Are you looking for suggestions?


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

That is awesome gbrad... I too hope she takes the hint and comes home early for you! If not don't give up just keep persisting, and make her take notice, so it is clear to her you are pursuing, eventually it will pay off (or else you will know where your marriage sex life stands for sure anyway).

And maybe try not to make the focus about intercourse and orgasms, just bonding time together, and mutual pleasure (in whatever form of intimacy that takes).

Good luck, cheering you on quietly from behind the scenes (in a non condenscending manner I hope!)


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Thanks Lon. We just need something to make things happier here at home. I really would rather not going weeks in between sex, but once a week passes, it is easy for 2, 3, or 4 weeks to pass.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Does she definitely know what you have in mind? Sometimes if we're too subtle hints can be missed.

Hope your night meets all your expectations..


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## TrustInUs (Sep 9, 2012)

Oops sorry op, when I typed the question I really was asking genuinely. Didnt mean to sound condensing, if that was meant for me.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

gbrad said:


> Thanks Lon. We just need something to make things happier here at home. I really would rather not going weeks in between sex, but once a week passes, it is easy for 2, 3, or 4 weeks to pass.


I know exactly what you mean. For me and my ex, birth control (lack of) was a barrier, if I didn't initiate during the safe window it would be weeks before I'd want to initiate again... I believe I remember you saying you want children (?) so vasectomy is not on your radar I guess. Other than condoms any kind of b.c. would have to fall to her, and if that is a moodkiller I hope she is willing to consider it even in dry spells so that when it gets hot there is nothing to stop you two from being spontaneous some more.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Lon said:


> I know exactly what you mean. For me and my ex, birth control was a barrier, if I didn't initiate during the safe window it would be weeks before I'd want to initiate again... I believe I remember you saying you want children (?) so vasectomy is not on your radar I guess. Other than condoms any kind of b.c. would have to fall to her, and if that is a moodkiller I hope she is willing to consider it even in dry spells so that when it gets hot there is nothing to stop you two from being spontaneous some more.


We want kids, but .....and she is home, gotta go.


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## Interlocutor (Dec 29, 2011)

gbrad said:


> We want kids, but .....and she is home, gotta go.


Oh crap, the magic of TAM in real-time!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Interlocutor said:


> Oh crap, the magic of TAM in real-time!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I was wrong, it wasn't her at the time, she ended up getting home later and nothing happened. We ate dinner and then the sex talk went to trying to time it best for the chances to get pregnant. End result...no sex.


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## Interlocutor (Dec 29, 2011)

gbrad said:


> I was wrong, it wasn't her at the time, she ended up getting home later and nothing happened. We ate dinner and then the sex talk went to trying to time it best for the chances to get pregnant. End result...no sex.


Damn...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

disappointed to see your comment on here man, sorry it didn't work out the way you hoped. How come the talk went to pregnancy, did you steer it there or did she? The best chance for pregnancy is to have lots and lots, but I realize that you are trying to fit it into a low frequency schedule... To me, that is the issue you both need to get around, not that just because you had sex yesterday doesn't mean you can't today... especially if the goal really is pregnancy (for me I had it in mind the opposite way, didn't want pregnancy).

Anyhow, if she is still home and you are both awake, pursue pursue!! good luck!


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Bummer.

Can you ask for a 'no pregnancy talk for 1 month' kind of thing. 
Just to try and get the warm loving feeling going again?


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