# What's acceptable cleavage?



## Mdcl33 (Mar 20, 2009)

My wife got breast implants about a year ago and now has sort of gone crazy with her cleavage. I mean it seems like her shirts and dresses are getting lower and lower with more breast showing all the time. Every shirt is like this now. She nevers wears anything else. I know it's for attention and all that but is this normal? Am I a jerk for telling her to not be so revealing? What's the boundary here? Thanks.


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## blondegirl (Jun 15, 2009)

It is your wife, so you two should have a mutual agreement on what is to revealing and whats not. And no your definitely not being a jerk!! You have say in this too. Just as she does about what clothes you should wear.


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## Sandy55 (Jun 3, 2009)

blondegirl said:


> It is your wife, so you two should have a mutual agreement on what is to revealing and whats not. And no your definitely not being a jerk!! You have say in this too. Just as she does about what clothes you should wear.


My _spouse_ is supposed to have a say about what I WEAR?? A spouse is not a _parent_ for heaven's sake. If I ask him do you like blue or green in this dress...he is ASKED, yes, but him actually having a SAY in what I _wear_? :scratchhead:


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## recent_cloud (Apr 18, 2009)

what's acceptable cleavage?

all of it.


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## Sandy55 (Jun 3, 2009)

Mdcl33 said:


> I know it's for attention and all that but is this normal? Am I a jerk for telling her to not be so revealing? What's the boundary here? Thanks.


No, it is _not_ normal, or at least no less normal than when you buy a new Mercedes and you go out and _show it off_, aka throw it in the faces of others. 

Has she _always_ been the type to throw her new purchases in the faces of others?

No you are not a _jerk_ for telling her to be a _lady_. 

The boundary is how much you are willing to take. If it is a deal breaker, tell her so. And as for you: be careful what you wish for! 

Classless is what this is about. Just tell her she looks as if she has no class and intelligence when she hangs them in the face of others. If she gets insulted, so be it. She needs to know she is starting to look and act like a red district woman.


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

recent_cloud said:


> what's acceptable cleavage?
> 
> all of it.


LOL 

hear hear!! I took me 27 years and three kids to grow anything remotely resembling cleavage... I darn sure show it off every once in a while.:smthumbup:

Besides, they are her new toys.. she like the attention. Men get fancy red sports-cars and drive them around for the same reasons. Maybe we should bring back cod-pieces and let the men show them off :rofl:

Why did she get them anyway? who's idea was it? who paid for it?


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

i'm with Recent, the more my wife shows off the happier I am.

As with snix, 3 kids did my wife well and she is proud of her natural beauties


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## Lavender (May 14, 2008)

None...


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

Whatever makes both partners comfortble is acceptable.


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

see thru turtleneck?


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## studlyc (Jun 10, 2009)

Sandy55 said:


> My _spouse_ is supposed to have a say about what I WEAR?? A spouse is not a _parent_ for heaven's sake. If I ask him do you like blue or green in this dress...he is ASKED, yes, but him actually having a SAY in what I _wear_? :scratchhead:


I agree with Blondegirl. She didn't say like a parent. Its your partner and you two should both be on the same page about what your both wearing. Obviously this is making him uncomfortable and she needs to know that he isn't okay with it.


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## bhappy3 (Feb 4, 2008)

This is interesting! A friend of mine just got hers done a week and a half ago, by choice. Another friend of mine had a double mastectomy and had hers redone two weeks ago. So, first said friend felt guilty for doing what she did b/c it was a vanity thing, not a necessity thing like second said friend. 

Personally, if I had mine done, I still would dress in big T shirts on a daily basis, and wear the low cut cleavage shirts when we go out. I'm not the type to shove my goods in people's faces on a daily basis, but I do like to dress sexy when we go out.

Snix had some good points about men and red sports cars and who paid for them, and for what reason she got them.

Mommy22... I'm not the type to want other's men to fantasize about me on a daily basis, say, at the grocery store, but for some reason I'll dress like that when we go out to the bar or a party. I still don't want other's men gawking at me, but when you add alcohol, it makes for a fun time. I deserve to dress sexy now and then. 

Sandy, I agree... my spouse is not my parent, and I am not his. I PREFER things for him to wear and not wear, and I suppose if he went with a bunch of stuff that I abhored, I would have serious issues with it. We go clothes shopping together, actually. I also agree with whether or not she's always been the kind to shove her new purchaes in the faces of others (something I really despise about people b/c it's actually a huge insecurity and that's why they're doing it). If this is a new personality for her, that wasn't something you married.

Hubby just walked in and put in his two cents... what's the point of getting a boob job if you're not going to show them. 

I have to disagree with that some... everything in moderation. A boob job can look great in shirts that don't show off cleavage as well. I think that's my final answer here. =)


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## Mr. R (May 5, 2009)

It shows a complete lack of class. Do you think other people want their children seeing this? 

I don't mind a woman who shows off her "assets" in the proper context: in private with her man. Anything else is unacceptable. A long time ago someone said "Do not cast your pearls before swine." Also, I remember this quote: "Like a gold ring through a swine's nose, so is a lovely woman without discretion."

If the woman has large breasts and covers them up with clothes, obviously they're still going to be prominent, but at least she has shown some class as opposed the the woman who wears v-neck type shirts. Doesn't anyone believe in leaving anything to the imagination anymore?


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## bhappy3 (Feb 4, 2008)

Good point Mr. R. Maybe that's why I save my cleavage shirts for when I go out... not a chance of coming across a family unit in a bar. No kids or religious people to offend.


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## Sandy55 (Jun 3, 2009)

Mr. R said:


> It shows a complete lack of class. Do you think other people want their children seeing this?
> 
> Doesn't anyone believe in leaving anything to the imagination anymore?


Apparently not! 

I go to the gym in a part of town where there is plenty of money for adding "sports cars" to the chest. 

As I exercise I watch people of course, and wonder: "What are some of these poor creatures _THINKING_??!! Most implants are so OBVIOUS, especially when the woman they are "planted" in is about 5' 4" and skinny as a rail and the ONLY part of her is the two massive balls of C+ cup (or larger) gel stuck to her chest that the stretchy spandex is making look even more so STRANGE and out of place. Tiny butt, tiny little arms, petite everywhere...but THEN she has actually asked some surgeon to plant boobs on her that were made for a woman the size of GODZILLA! :rofl::rofl:

Don't get me WRONG, I _have_ nice "girls" on board. I have what I have been told "Really _nice_ boobs" and they are in less is more category, but firm and perky even at 53, as I did not care to breast feed and I do work out the base chest muscles so as to KEEP them that way and have always worn good support. It takes some thinking and work to stay perky , just like I want all my parts, not just for looks and clothes fitting well, but for health, too. 

My dh says mine are MUCH more appealing - the texture, firmness, shape, nipple color and size factors are what he points out that make breasts truly _attractive_ sexuall, and says "REAL _girls_ these days are a true turn on"  rather than large '_honking headlights_"  (dh has such a WAY with words...kinda like dcrim..) and looking as if a large melon fruit is glued to the chest! :rofl:

Modesty, discretion, moderation (aka classy) are so MUCH more attractive than plunging necklines with sports cars flashing and announcing to the whole WORD you are superficial and insecure about what God gave you and NEED boobs to make you a more attractive person! 

Or worse, you are in the "meat market" for a man and don't care _the man you are attracting is just as superficial and shallow as you_...appear to be.:scratchhead:

Classy takes thought, _sports_ cars are just that for _sport_. And major surgery for sport is no reason to risk your life without good cause.

Sorry if I've offended some on here. I know there are times when a boob job is NEEDED, for flat chest, breast reconstruction due to cancer, or a boob lift and "remod" is due, but NATURAL should be the goal, not "IT's SHOWTIME _GIRLS_"


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## Sandy55 (Jun 3, 2009)

I re-read my post, and sorry for the descriptors of my girls  and on second thought maybe I should have just posted a photo of them to my album? :rofl: Am rather  Sorry.


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## Mdcl33 (Mar 20, 2009)

Thanks for all the input. I agree with most of the comments. I agree that I am her husband not her parent. I don’t control her. At the end of the day, she can do what she wants essentially. I understand that for some women big breasts (and showing them off) somehow relates to improved worth and self confidence. Not sure how that connection ever came about but I suppose it is true. I guess what some women do not understand is what do you want to be known for? What do you want people to remember about you when you meet them? That you had a nice rack and you weren’t afraid to show them off to anyone and everyone? I know that may seem extreme to some people but that has to be brought up. 

I know some say the more, the better. Do you want men and some pervs looking at you wishing they could rub their faces in your chest all the time? If you women don't think that is what men are thinking, well I have news for you, it is. Sure, it's "attention" but is it the kind that you want?

Look, I like the way my wife looks and I am not trying to get her to dress in turtlenecks. The enhanced breasts make her waist look smaller and well proportioned all around. That’s all well and good. That’s why I agreed to it (and agreed to pay for it) when she asked me for it. She wanted to improve herself so to speak. How could I say no? So, I did not look at this as the middle aged red sports car syndrome or something like that. 

I’m not sure what I can say without her being sensitive about it. I am sure she loves all the attention and gawking. But, when even your young children start poking at Mom's big breasts hanging out then I think it may be worth addressing. I will just try to explain how she doesn’t need to draw that kind of attention to herself because she already has other, good attributes.


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

Sandy55 said:


> I re-read my post, and sorry for the descriptors of my girls  and on second thought maybe I should have just posted a photo of them to my album? :rofl: Am rather  Sorry.


OK, post them...I'll give you an honest opinion!


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## recent_cloud (Apr 18, 2009)

mommy22 said:


> :iagree: My husband likes for me to look "hot" for him at home as well as when we go out. At home he sees my breasts. When we go out, more is left to the imagination. I think you can look hot and still cover the essentials at the same time. After all, most women can attract attention when barely covered up. However, it takes quite a woman to get the attention while dressed more conservatively.


and there i thought because you're a moderator your post would be a buzzkill.

mymy, mommytwentytwo, rock on.


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

See I come from the school of, "I don't care what other people think" i'll do what I want.

Some days my wife is feeling sexy and wears some nice low cut blouses or dresses.

Other days she wears whatever...

bottom line she wears what she wants. As a couple you have to decide what is best. 

I am just worried for MCD, he is paranoid about some pervert googling over his wife's breasts, why? you can classify 95% of men that look at women's breasts for whatever reason, doesn't mean they are all perverts.

If I think a woman is Beautiful, I will say she is beautiful and I will even say it in front of my wife, my wife knows I am not going anywhere, that she is a 15 on a scale from 1-10 to me.

The issue is your own self confidence, you need to be confident your wife is not going anywhere. That Brad Pitt can strut on over and say to your wife, "Hey baby you are smoking hot, lets go for a ride!" and your wife will reply, " Sory Brad, I am a taken woman  " I have that confidence in my wife, you need to get there. You married her for her beauty, brains and love, don't let your own demons get the best of you. The more confident YOU are the happier you both will be.


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## Mdcl33 (Mar 20, 2009)

GAsoccerman said:


> I am just worried for MCD, he is paranoid about some pervert googling over his wife's breasts, why?
> 
> The issue is your own self confidence, you need to be confident your wife is not going anywhere. I have that confidence in my wife, you need to get there. You married her for her beauty, brains and love, don't let your own demons get the best of you.



Good points and agree with most. Point is not that I think my wife is going to run away with another man because he compliments her breasts or looks. Point is that if women want to known more for their cleavage (intelligence, brains, etc.) then do that. My wife has dumbed herself down as a result of her primary focus on her cosmetic appearance. Has no interest in the outside world other than in relation to glamour, beauty, etc. I compliment her all the time and she knows I feel so there's no outreach for attention because she has been neglected. The bigger problem is not my self confidence (which I admit can always improve) it is that she is becoming a shallow, materialistic person as a result of all this. She has completely changed her personality. Sounds harsh but is sad truth. I will find a solution.

On a side note, glad to hear all of your techniques work well for you. Keep it up as long as you can because you never know when things will get sidetracked. I never thought I would be addressing things like this in my marriage. It was ideal for 10+ years.


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

may I ask how old are both of you, how many kids? and are you done with kids? Economic status? ie poverty, lower middle class, upper middle class, wealthy (over 1 mill in assets)


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## Mdcl33 (Mar 20, 2009)

GAsoccerman said:


> may I ask how old are both of you, how many kids? and are you done with kids? Economic status? ie poverty, lower middle class, upper middle class, wealthy (over 1 mill in assets)


We are both 37, 2 boys, no more kids, upper middle class. Thanks.


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

so your done with kids? did you get a vesectomy or did your wife get permanent birth control (tubes tied).

So do you both go to alot of social events? does she have some "glamor" type friends.

Upper middle class and done with kids...she is tring to get back to her "20 something body" my wife wants a mommy makeover as well. 

what are her friends like? about the same...

Your wife wants to have a good time and look good doing it, she can afford these toys and luxuries now. I say you take this oppurtunity and have some fun.

She wants to go out and go dancing, she wants to be the "hot mom" my wife looks outstanding after three children, she enjoys the MILF comments she gets.

woman have been programmed to "look good" or to look there best all their lives.

she is getting close to 40, she feels it, she wants to look and feel young still. It can either go with it or not.

My wife and I still go out and party, dancing and have wild fun nights. It makes her feel young and sexy, which she is. But she needs to "feel" it.

This has to do with her self esteem as it does yours. Do you dress nice? have a nice car? clean cut? a good looking guy? You see men get better looking as they get older, you ahve become more attractive and she wants to be that hot wife on your arm....or should I say Hot mom.


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## Mdcl33 (Mar 20, 2009)

GAsoccerman said:


> so your done with kids? did you get a vesectomy or did your wife get permanent birth control (tubes tied).


Vasectomy about 3 years ago.




GAsoccerman said:


> So do you both go to alot of social events? does she have some "glamor" type friends....she is tring to get back to her "20 something body"...what are her friends like? about the same...


We actually got into this whole ballroom dancing thing about 2 years ago and that's been a main focus of hers and most likely the reason for all this. Many of the people that are around that are into the glamour thing.




GAsoccerman said:


> This has to do with her self esteem as it does yours. Do you dress nice? have a nice car? clean cut? a good looking guy? You see men get better looking as they get older, you ahve become more attractive and she wants to be that hot wife on your arm....or should I say Hot mom.


All good points and all true I know it. We make a very good couple. Both good looking, fit, nice, intelligent, etc. Maybe my self esteem has taken a hit because I just seem to work all the time and see myself as old and tired. Then I see her and she looks younger and more beautiful all the time. I suppose there is some jealousy there and that's not a good thing. 

It sounds like you have gone though some of the same stuff or know people who have. Marriages can be difficult because things change and it's hard to adapt to all of it sometimes. It sounds like you have overcome some things yourself and your marriage is stronger because of it.

I like your attitude and I wish more people in marriages would have the optimism you do. You can't give up as long as you have the ultimate belief that your spouse is a good person who would not intentionally hurt you. I know that and just need to work my way through all this.

You sound like a good person and a strong willed individual. The world certainly needs more people like you. I appreciate your positivity and advice. Thank you!


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## Sandy55 (Jun 3, 2009)

GA babyboy:

"You see men get better looking as they get older...."

GA this is such BS. Women are simply oogled more often, compared more often, critiqued more often in our "beauty focused society". 

I am in the gym watching men and women all the time. The men getting older look about the same as the women getting older. Grey hair, lines; less hair, lines, etc. 

Generally if a person is hot looking as a young person, they are likely still hot looking as an older person. It is the ones that do all the VISIBLE nip and tucking that look really BAD, IMO; it is awful. If anyone does PS, it has to look natural or they end up looking like our dearly departed MJ.

It is just that as _either_ ages, both gain _character_ and that character makes them even more attractive because it makes one wonder where they've been and what things they've experienced, made it through: survived.


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## recent_cloud (Apr 18, 2009)

Sandy55 said:


> Generally if a person is hot looking as a young person, they are likely still hot looking as an older person.


not from what i've experienced.

i've watched gorgeous young men and women transform into whatthef+ckisthat adults

and i've watched ugly ducklings turn into mightily beautiful swans.

yesihave.


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## Mdcl33 (Mar 20, 2009)

recent_cloud said:


> i've watched gorgeous young men and women transform into whatthef+ckisthat adults
> 
> and i've watched ugly ducklings turn into mightily beautiful swans.


Have to agree to recent cloud. Some men get older and wiser and as a result find out how they can make themselves look good as they get older. However, many men get lazier and more nonchalant with their appearance as they get older. They get complacent thinking that their wife doesn't care any more about how they look. Dressed sloppy, beer belly, bed head - that's pretty common among a lot of men I see around.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

I agree with the idea that it depends on the context. and presumably, at no time in public is there areola or "nippleage" involved. 

I think a dollar bill can be used in deciding how much cleavage is right.

Church: None. cleavage is covered, nowhere to place the bill.

Kids school: dollar folded lengthwise in half, would stick vertically in the displayed cleavage.

Out on errrants, on a walk at the park, etc.: Unfolded dollar bill fits vertically in cleavage.

At a bar, out dancing, at a play, etc: Go for broke: dollar bill fits horizontally in cleavage (presuming you got room). 


Ok, I had too much fun figuring out the dollar bill system. 

Edited!

After I wrote this out I found the perfect illustration of too much cleavage:

http://www.newsnet5.com/news/19886368/detail.html

WARREN, Ohio -- Police in Warren, Ohio, released video of a woman who was interrogated by officers with a baby squirrel in her shirt.

She was brought into the station to be questioned about a crime.

The detective sat amazed as the woman continued the conversation while tucking the squirrel into her cleavage.

Police let the woman and her animal friend go.

Go to the link and watch


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## Mdcl33 (Mar 20, 2009)

I'm not quite sure how the dollar bill system works in relation to this but I will read again and try to figure it out. I agree with most of the points and the more posts I read the better I feel about the situation. I agree the occassion makes a big difference. I guess it was just an adjustment for me to her wear such different clothes EVERYWHERE. There's not much difference between what she shows when she helps out at the kid's school versus going out. It just seemed a little drastic and showy for me. Maybe I am reading into it too much.


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

GAsoccerman said:


> i'm with Recent, the more my wife shows off the happier I am.
> 
> As with snix, 3 kids did my wife well and she is proud of her natural beauties


hahaha soccerman...after several month of watching you...i'm convinced...you are a goddammed freak!!!!! thanks for the giggle...


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

Void my Historical legal debator buttle was that you behind the Pillar watching me? Are you the Geico cash in those comercials? 

It's all good. :smthumbup:


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

GAsoccerman said:


> Void my Historical legal debator buttle was that you behind the Pillar watching me? Are you the Geico cash in those comercials?
> 
> It's all good. :smthumbup:


ha...fun to catch a fellow at my own game...thanks!


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