# Help needed to clear my head



## TheMizz...erable (Aug 14, 2011)

Been a long time since I posted here. Really helped me. I was a mess. Much better now but I need some compassionate advice.

I am with someone who is awesome. I also have a friend that I knew before her. My head tells me to stay who I am with. My heart is what's mucking this up. Because I have feelings for my other friend too. 

My gf is crazy about me. My other friend is not really available to me but I cannot stop thinking about her. We have been close. She is married. She has had issues with her marriage and it may or may not last.

Why am I finding this issue so hard to deal with? In my head, it is clear cut.


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

Stay with your gf and cut of all contact with the OW before you end up in an affair. She's not available to you, so back off. Don't be so selfish and assume that you can just ruin her relationship because of YOUR feelings. Leave well alone.


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## dormant (Apr 3, 2012)

If you truly care about the other woman, leave her be. She is married. I'm sure you want the best for her, right????

Her marriage doesn't have a chance of getting better with you in the picture. If you love her, let her go.


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## TheMizz...erable (Aug 14, 2011)

We were friends for a long while. We have been intimate. She has told me at times that she was about ready to leave her husband. I also work with her and see her every day. My head knows I need to stop but my heart doesn't let me. Just not sure how I need to handle things without hurting anyone or regretting things myself. I feel like things would be great between friend and I but I know the chances are small at this time because of the situation and that I would always regret hurting my gf. If I stay with gf I don't know if I can get my friend off my mind. Why do people do that? Why do they want what they can't have? Especially when they have something great already?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## shebeenqueen (Feb 26, 2013)

trust me this will not end well.


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

The infatuation with the married woman you have been intimate with is a fantasy. You are wrong to think things would be great with her. How could you ever trust her? She cheated on her husband which shows she doesn't know how to properly deal with relationship issues nor does she respect herself or her partner or her partner enough to do what is right even if that means leaving. Did you think the fact that she cheated with you somehow makes you special? Wrong. If it wasn't you it would be someone else. It is her character, or lack of I should say.Do your amazing gf a favor and let her go. Nobody deserves to be with someone, to love and give their best to someone who secretly pines for someone else.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TheMizz...erable (Aug 14, 2011)

Thanks for the replies. Like I said, this is not easy. inarut, my friend and I get along great. As friends. That is why I believe things would be good if we were together. I have no indication otherwise. As far as cheating, I am the only one she has been with and that was just once. I think she is a really good person. 

There have been times when I try to let things go with her. But the feelings creep back in and seem to just consume me again. At work she said that her and her husband are having a rough time and that they might not make it this time. I didn't ask. I told her I was sorry that things aren't good now. 

And sometimes gf and I get into it pretty bad. But she is convinced that we were meant to be together and I am just not sure. I don't want to let her go because she is, perhaps, the best thing to ever happen to me. I feel/hope that with time, things will be okay.

I don't know. I just hope I make the right decision and can be at peace with that.


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## NewM (Apr 11, 2012)

Than your current GF isn't so awesome for you.If she was great for you,you wouldn't be thinking about other friend.She might be a great GF but you 2 don't match.I think you should let her find someone who will click with her.


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## TheMizz...erable (Aug 14, 2011)

She has gotten upset and left. I was hurt too but I let her go. She always comes back. I do not stop her from leaving. 

As far as being ready...she has been divorced for 9 years now. Me, a little over one. We started as friends. Even if we broke up, I'd still want to be her friend but she says she would never see me again. 

At times, she gets so upset, she starts having attacks and can hardly breath and has talked about killing herself. She is awesome. But not perfect. As for me, I am so damn imperfect, I do not know what she and my other friend sees in me.


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## IrishGirlVA (Aug 27, 2012)

I feel really bad for your girlfriend.


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## yellowstar (Jun 18, 2012)

IrishGirlVA said:


> I feel really bad for your girlfriend.



Same. You sound selfish, you should go be alone so you don't ruin two peoples' lives (your girlfriends and your other friends husband). 

Really pathetic, have some decency and do the right thing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

TheMizz...erable said:


> . *She is married.*


End of argument.

Move on.

First you started off saying how "awesome" your girlfriend is. Then you say you slept with this married chick you see everyday at work. Then the "awesome girlfriend" has issues and etc. See how you just went from rainbows to rain clouds?

I say leave the married chick alone. For reals. And dump your girlfriend cause it's clear you aren't that committed to her. 

Go your own way.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Break up with your girlfriend. She deserves a guy who loves her and doesn't have his head so far up another woman's ass.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

...and there's that, too. 

So eloquent, NoraJane.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> ...and there's that, too.
> 
> So eloquent, NoraJane.


Lol, yes, maybe not so eloquent. 

Still, that's how I'd feel if I were his gf and knew that he was so deeply immersed in another woman. Maybe he should tell his gf all about his dilemma in choosing between her and his married OW.


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## TheMizz...erable (Aug 14, 2011)

Thanks for the advice everyone.


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