# She wants access to my account but keeps her money?



## WhiteKnight (Nov 16, 2013)

We dated for a month and got married. Yep, we rushed in without loving each other yet. 

She was a single mother of an adorable 7 year old girl. I felt bad to see them living in a rough part of town. Her on the couch and the daughter in the bedroom. I suffered from the white knight complex.

I'm no angel either, however. This was my 4th marriage and she knew the risks I was taking by marrying her without a pre nup. 

I basically went into this thinking that love would happen over time, and if not, I could get a divorce and avoid alimony. 

Well, I was not prepared to meet someone stuck in a state of survivor mode. Yikes! I live in a comfortable 1 bedroom apartment and she suggested converting my dining room to a 'nest' for her girl. I moved her in. She requested her name on my account, making it a 'joint' account. I was put off a bit by how fast she moved for the money but she explained she wanted a traditional marriage. I said ok...

Well, she's been here 4 months and I haven't asked for a dime. She's bought groceries once. We had made plans to get a bigger place so my boys could visit and she said she would pay the difference in the rent from what I pay now. She later reneged and said we both should be able to move out if we both made sacrifices...

It all boils down to this...she wants to keep her income, access my account and have me watch the girl while she is working so she can reduce her childcare expenses.

I told her that I never expected to get rich marrying her, but I think that if you work, you contribute. She says she budgets $600 for groceries, but honestly, I don't see that much food here and I've only seen her buy groceries once.

I guess none of this matters since I don't feel a connection to this woman anyway, but I was curious what others thought of someone who works and keeps there money? 

I'm concerned that the message she is sending is that I don't need her money and that she can stop working if she likes.

I don't know, the whole thing sounds odd to me. I mean, why work if you're not sharing the joint expenses?

I told her I am filing for divorce and she wasn't too chalked up about it.


----------



## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

> I guess none of this matters since I don't feel a connection to this woman anyway, but I was curious what others thought of someone who works and keeps there money?





> I told her I am filing for divorce and she wasn't too chalked up about it.



You don't love her, you hardly knew her when you married her and you know things aren't working out well. I would go ahead with the divorce, if I were you. If she becomes pregnant, things are going to become a whole lot messier than they already are.


----------



## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

Well, in a "traditional" marriage. She hands you her paycheck!

And, you deposit the money in the joint account. 


I think you moved a little too fast.


----------



## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

hambone said:


> Well, in a "traditional" marriage. She hands you her paycheck!
> 
> And, you deposit the money in the joint account.
> 
> ...


Actually, it's my guess that she's hankering after the 'traditional' sort of marriage where she won't have to bring in a pay cheque at all... A sort of "What's yours is mine and what's mine is also mine" scenario.


----------



## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

Three failed marriages and a fourth that was all but designed to end badly? I hope you are seeing a therapist to address your self-destructive behavior.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Allen_A (Nov 18, 2013)

Pool all your cash from both paycheques into one account.

You both get to take out 100 bucks to spend as you want. The rest goes to the household and only into the household.

That's the fairest way to break this down.

If she wants more than you get each month for herself tell her she's not being fair, the math is right there in front of her.


----------

