# 10 Things Husbands Wish Wives Knew



## AlphaMale74 (Oct 15, 2014)

http://www.thedatingdivas.com/marriage-101/10-things-husbands-wish-wives-knew/


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Very good article. This magazine must want to lose female readers. 

I would add:

12. Please don't talk so much. Just shut up once in a while. Please?:|


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> Very good article. This magazine must want to lose female readers.
> 
> I would add:
> 
> 12. Please don't talk so much. Just shut up once in a while. Please?:|


:lol: 

I'm gonna take a beatin' for that. Oh, was that funny. My stomach hurts.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Terrific list!


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## Somanylemons (May 2, 2015)

It would be interesting to see how many of the men of the forum agree with this list.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Really cool. I sent this to my wife.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> Very good article. This magazine must want to lose female readers.
> 
> I would add:
> 
> 12. Please don't talk so much. Just shut up once in a while. Please?:|


I think that falls under #10. Many times I don't need a man cave. A woman can sit right next to me - without the constant unfiltered verbal vomit - and I'm all good.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Somanylemons said:


> It would be interesting to see how many of the men of the forum agree with this list.


I agree with it.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Learned all of this and more from the men posting on TAM. :grin2: The list is confirmation. Printed it out to read periodically when I lose my focus.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

zillard said:


> I think that falls under #10. Many times I don't need a man cave. A woman can sit right next to me - without the constant unfiltered verbal vomit - and I'm all good.


To clarify - conversation is good. I like conversation. 

However, when it's one person talking, going on and on and on, with no breaks and no, "what do YOU think?", FOLLOWED by listening - that's not conversation. 

I sometimes just start counting, while nodding. You'd be amazed the numbers I've reached.


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## Noble1 (Oct 25, 2013)

Good listing. Sent it to my wife to see what her reaction will be.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Great list [email protected]#

.. I read them quickly to my husband here....asking what are the most important to him... when I got to #10 about the Cave, he said he's never needed one of those..

For his most important... he agreed with the #1 and #2.... he'd put SEX at #3







.... then "*That I Want to be Appreciated*" and "*That Positivity is Attractive*".... 

He's never had to worry about #4 "* That Hints Don’t Work"*.. I've always been pretty direct ...it works for us!.... (if anything I could use a little filtering at times though)...I spoke of this on my thread below.. 



> ... *Our husbands desire to Please us...how important to communicate our WANTS clearly*... Men are not mind readers..
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

zillard said:


> However, when it's one person talking, going on and on and on, with no breaks and no,* "what do YOU think?"*, FOLLOWED by listening - that's not conversation.


 I always seek to hear how he feels / what he thinks....that's the FUN of it...I, too, would want to run from the room if there isn't enough "give & take"...



> I sometimes just start counting, while nodding. You'd be amazed the numbers I've reached.


That's kinda .... It's good to be mindful if our hearers would want to hear "all that"...the cues are in their eyes/ interaction/ a little feedback.... 

It would bother *ME *a great deal if I felt I was annoying someone (if he was counting!







).....do you think your wife knows this?

I need to be appreciated in this way... or it would hurt me, like throwing cold water in my face... I wouldn't be satisfied for him to pacify me here... he has to enjoy it too....
I enjoy the "give & take" very much.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

I don't think he takes his shoes and socks off when he gets to ten. I know. sorry. I couldn't help myself.


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

Somanylemons said:


> It would be interesting to see how many of the men of the forum agree with this list.


I agree with all 10 but my order of importance might be very different.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

zillard said:


> I think that falls under #10. Many times I don't need a man cave. A woman can sit right next to me - without the constant unfiltered verbal vomit - and I'm all good.


Have you told your wife this?


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## Happilymarried25 (Mar 19, 2014)

Number 1 and 2 surprised me. I thought number 1 would be have more sex and number 2 would be quit nagging. It was nice to read how men loves their wives and how beautiful they think their wives are.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Have you told your wife this?


I tried but she wouldn't stop talking long enough.  

Now, in serious mode, intheory does have a point. The things that bug us about other humans are often things we do ourselves. I've found that to be true many times. 

And no, I didn't get from the very nice article that men are tired of hearing their wives talk either. However, the fact that sometimes needing space made the list does show that many don't know when to stop, IMO. 

The cues that SA mentioned are important. And I'd bet that if this list was asking wives, many would say similar things about being direct in communicating needs. 

I'm no longer married, and I'm certain communication had a lot to do with that, on both sides.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

It's a good list in a perfect world and perfect relationship.

However...


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Happilymarried25 said:


> Number 1 and 2 surprised me. I thought number 1 would be have more sex and number 2 would be quit nagging. It was nice to read how men loves their wives and how beautiful they think their wives are.


From the guys I know this is exactly how they feel about their wives. Once upon a time I felt same way about mine! :grin2:


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

intheory said:


> Wolf,
> 
> I am asking you, since you feel that your current gf. doesn't talk enough, correct?
> 
> ...


Well to answer I need to establish that small talk isn't the issue: How was your day, what did you do, what do you want for dinner that kinda thing

With my Girlfriend we have a huge communication gap in that we never talk about intimate and bonding things: Medical problems she is having, things about raising her son or my daughters, our pasts, when big things happen to share that first with each other...this kinda thing

My x wife and I talked about minor and important things I felt like daily. Things that went beyond just idle chit chat. I guess I took for granted that all women were like this and liked to communicate but have found otherwise.

So yes I would say that communication is a major component I need for a relationship. I don't ever mind taking about important things. I thinks it's a misnomer that guys hate talking. What I think they mean ,or what I hear when guys says they hate women who talk all the time, is when they are being talked at or it's just never ending idle chit chat. 

Probably some exceptions of guys who never want to talk about anything.....ever


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

The point of the article is 10 things men WISHED women knew. Clearly the effort is pointless if you have to right a column about it.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

Exactly, wolf! 

Talk WITH me, not AT me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Runs like Dog said:


> The point of the article is 10 things men WISHED women knew. Clearly the effort is pointless if you have to right a column about it.


Well, the thing is, it's all about the effort. Change will be endless and this list will remain. It's a great goal, though. I just don't know anyone who would accept someone else's list without making changes so their husband gets what he needs. Men need to ask what they need. >


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

Wolf1974 said:


> From the guys I know this is exactly how they feel about their wives. Once upon a time I felt same way about mine! :grin2:


I certainly did. 

I think the frustration of #1 likely comes from communicating love in different love languages. And #2 from overly self-conscious wives. 

It truly feels terrible when honest compliments and admiration are met with scoffs or self-deprecating language.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Women, as a general rule, do not like being talked at either. Believe me there are plenty of guys who do this too.

The article is a good one. An important point is that men are not mind readers. Neither are men. If your spouse has a habit that is a love buster then you have to talk about it with them.

And keep in mind that if your spouse does something irritating, it does not mean that all people of that gender do the same thing. It's personal. It's your spouse. Talk to them.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Women, as a general rule, do not like being talked at either. Believe me there are plenty of guys who do this too.
> 
> The article is a good one. An important point is that men are not mind readers. Neither are men. If your spouse has a habit that is a love buster then you have to talk about it with them.
> 
> And keep in mind that if your spouse does something irritating, it does not mean that all people of that gender do the same thing. It's personal. It's your spouse. Talk to them.


I completely agree, and don't think anyone here was saying differently.

And yes, I did bring that up with my X, more than a few times. Even tried using a "talking stick" of sorts. Unfortunately it would just get thrown at the wall or floor.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

zillard said:


> I completely agree, and don't think anyone here was saying differently.
> 
> And yes, I did bring that up with my X, more than a few times. Even tried using a "talking stick" of sorts. Unfortunately it would just get thrown at the wall or floor.


I've brought that up with both wives, sister, mother, MIL and SIL. 

I'd be shocked to find a loving wife who did not believe she knew her husband. 

Even wives who do not appear loving to their husbands and divorce them, believe they knew them pretty well. 

No, not all women are like this, but those who attempt to make a go of a relationship surely do in the majority. 

And yes, there are those who will not know their husband/partner, just as bandit seemed to imply, and I agreed with. 

Notice, I did not address whether men know their wives. That's simply due to the topic of the thread, and not an attempt to instigate a disagreement. Disclaimer provided in agreement with Ele, that women don't always understand men, either.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

Somanylemons said:


> It would be interesting to see how many of the men of the forum agree with this list.


I think it is pretty accurate.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

zillard said:


> Exactly, wolf!
> 
> Talk WITH me, not AT me.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Exactly! 


Some women are good about correcting this when you point it out. Others not so much. Thankfully they aren't all that way or at least receptive to two way communication. :smile2:


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

zillard said:


> I completely agree, and *don't think anyone here was saying differently.*
> 
> And yes, I did bring that up with my X, more than a few times. Even tried using a "talking stick" of sorts. Unfortunately it would just get thrown at the wall or floor.


They weren't


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Same as others have posted, mostly in agreement with the list but would definitely rearrange the order. There is no way that Sex should be #9 on the list, that is at least in the top 3 (and maybe should even take up 2 spots :grin2 ...

One item that caught my attention was #7 "Positivity is Attractive". Glad to see I am not the only one who feels this way. I am a rather upbeat/positive person and have little tolerance/desire to be around someone negative as they just find a way to suck the life out of you. This part sums it up:



> It’s hard to be positive when you’re around someone who is negative. But it’s also easy to be happy when you’re around someone who is smiling and laughing.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

I don't think these were rated in order of importance by the author. I got the impression it was ranked by number of times they saw a response come in. Sex might be higher on these guys ladder of importance, but maybe enough of them are satisfied sexually that they opted for a different choice.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Fozzy said:


> I don't think these were rated in order of importance by the author. I got the impression it was ranked by number of times they saw a response come in. Sex might be higher on these guys ladder of importance, but maybe enough of them are satisfied sexually that they opted for a different choice.


I agree I didn't get the impression they were ordered. Sex is very important to me however I have never been in a sexless realtionship before so I likely wouldn't rank that as one anyway.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

I think it is a good list. None of it is new to me but I am guilty of not always being mindful of these things, after reading the comments I feel reminded to let go a little bit and just enjoy the wonderful relationship we have.

I do let him have his space, don't nag (hate it in fact), sex is great and I have learnt that it is an emotionally bonding thing for him which is a new concept for me. Overall we are in a pretty good place, it will be interesting though to see his opinion on all of this.


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## azteca1986 (Mar 17, 2013)

Somanylemons said:


> It would be interesting to see how many of the men of the forum agree with this list.


I agreed enough to send it to my wife. I didn't agree with each and every comment but the overall tone was positive and some of the comments were very sweet, so I was happy to share it.

The only point I didn't think applied to her so much was some of the comments to point #2, like 



> I wish she knew how important she is to me. *Her self esteem holds her back*, she’s capable of so much more. Women are amazing. I have grown so much because of my wife and am very grateful for all that she does for our family.


A few months ago we discussed what the single, most important thing we'd learned from each other and her reply was:

_My self confidence. You always build me up. You never put me down._


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## thenub (Oct 3, 2014)

I agree with the list. It should be attached to every marriage license issued.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

I like it.


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## nirvana (Jul 2, 2012)

Great list.
I love my wife, but she does not appreciate my contributions at all. She is always talking about how much she does and never for a moment stops to think that a lot of what she has done would not be possible without the platform I built on which she did it. The analogy I give is that she stands on my shoulders and picks an apple from a tree and makes fun of me that she is able to get the fruit while I am not able to. Everything I have done is "not a big deal". How can some women be so delusional? Many women are like this, sometimes I wonder if they are joking or are serious. It's like they need a constant ego boost.

After kids, a woman's sex drive goes wayyyyy down. Makes me feel that she had sex with me only for the kids. Now that her project has been completed, then it becomes a chore. And then men get blamed again for not doing enough.


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