# My wife has started dating while the divorce is pending. How can I make her stop?



## MatthewO (Oct 27, 2015)

My wife and I have been separated for 2 months now. We don't have any children. I bought a new place for myself while she's staying at our house. We both own the house. Anyways, that's not the issue. She's solely paying the house bills since she's the one who's currently living there. The issue is why has she started dating right now. We're not divorced yet. When we were together I paid $3700 for her breast augmentation. So, I believe that rightfully gives me some authority over her. But, she doesn't get it. I told her she shouldn't date anyone when our divorce hasn't yet been finalized. I told her I had the right to tell her to stop but she didn't get the picture. She didn't even get it when we were still together. She wouldn't wear what I would tell her to wear. I mean she would at times wear skimpy dresses. I didn't pay for her augmentation so that she would show it off on public. It was for her own self-esteem. She needs to know that as long as the divorce is still pending I have some authority over her. I was the one that paid for her confidence level to go higher. What should i do?


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

I hear some women go bonkers after a boob job. Having said that dude you have no control over her. Sorry
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

boltam said:


> Lots of bait in that one.
> 
> My favorite part is how you think you have authority over her because of the breast augmentation.
> 
> ...



And the trend of controlling Weirdo (cough, cough) threads continues...And $3700 for a boob job is the cost of one boob!


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## thebirdman (Apr 5, 2014)

"My wife does everything I tell her to do all the time without question." - No Man, Ever

Then again, I wouldn't want to be married to one who did.


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## Be smart (Feb 22, 2015)

You know my friend Separation is only excuse for having sex outside of your Marriage.

I hate when people say "we are working together on M but I am dating other man/woman now"


Just let her go my friend. She is not worth it.

Find yourself a better woman.

Best of luck


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## survive_to_die (Oct 21, 2015)

OP, I will bite and assume you are 100% serious. You can't force anything. What you can do is make yourself a more attractive offering for your wife. Appreciate her new found freedom and attempts to be desired and be the man that she sees as desirable. Other than that, you have no say in the matter. Your current attempts only make you appear to be a weak, controlling, desperate man and those qualities will no doubt turn her off even more from you. Man up. Work on your appearance. Get fit. Get new outfits. Get a better haircut. Ask her to go out on a date with you and show her what you are. Stop the controlling b**sh*t.


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## survive_to_die (Oct 21, 2015)

Be smart said:


> You know my friend Separation is only excuse for having sex outside of your Marriage.
> 
> I hate when people say "we are working together on M but I am dating other man/woman now"
> 
> ...


This just isn't true. It is true you can't be working on the marriage while dating other people. But you can be dating your spouse while they date other people. Especially if you're the reason your spouse left. It's no different from dating when you are single. You have to show why you are a better match or mate for your spouse.

Saying a separation is only an excuse for sex is just an ignorant statement. I'm sorry but it's just not based on facts.


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## Tron (Jan 31, 2013)

Matthew,

Do you have control issues much?

Not sure where on this planet you got the notion that because you bought your wife some new boobs you own her. 

Get in to see a therapist because the bottom line is she can do whatever the hell she wants, when she wants. 

Actions have consequences, so you can put up with it, or not, and divorce her.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

I bought my ex hb a shirt once. How can I get him to understand that he has clear his crappy decisions with me? 

Geez, move out of your mom's basement and get a job. You have too much time on your hands.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

kristin2349 said:


> And the trend of controlling Weirdo (cough, cough) threads continues...And $3700 for a boob job is the cost of one boob!


And that's the most appalling thing in this thread -- the cut-rate boob job.

Dude. They're boobs.

Spend some f*cking money.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

boltam said:


> If I was a cosmetic surgeon I'd implement aggressive marketing strategies to dominate the competitive breast implant market.
> 
> "Buy one, get one free".


Sounds like nothing more than a cheap ploy aimed at increasing your time spent grabbing boobs.

Either way...


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## EnigmaGirl (Feb 7, 2015)

I'm gonna write my name on my husband's penis with a Sharpie. That way, if he tries to divorce me, he'll still have to do everything I say!

OP, seriously...you're stbx wife can do whatever she wants and the fake boobs will be filling out someone else's hands now. Your wife has moved on and so has your money. You have zero control over what she does...get over it.

Good news is that you can buy fake body parts for someone else now.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

boltam said:


> Given the history I suspect a serious mental disability.
> 
> Not much chance of gainful employment with this one.


Sadly you're probably right.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

kristin2349 said:


> And the trend of controlling Weirdo (cough, cough) threads continues...And $3700 for a boob job is the cost of one boob!


A few years ago we had a doctor around here advertising buy one get one free :grin2:


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

kristin2349 said:


> And the trend of controlling Weirdo (cough, cough) threads continues...And $3700 for a boob job is the cost of one boob!


 Maybe they were second hand...:grin2:
Or better yet the were irregular, after all one boob is always bigger then the other. Just sayin


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## Hopeful Cynic (Apr 27, 2014)

Make sure you end up with $3700 more than she does in the separation of assets. Problem solved.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

MatthewO said:


> My wife and I have been separated for 2 months now. We don't have any children. I bought a new place for myself while she's staying at our house. We both own the house. Anyways, that's not the issue. She's solely paying the house bills since she's the one who's currently living there. The issue is why has she started dating right now. We're not divorced yet. When we were together I paid $3700 for her breast augmentation. So, I believe that rightfully gives me some authority over her. But, she doesn't get it. I told her she shouldn't date anyone when our divorce hasn't yet been finalized. I told her I had the right to tell her to stop but she didn't get the picture. She didn't even get it when we were still together. She wouldn't wear what I would tell her to wear. I mean she would at times wear skimpy dresses. I didn't pay for her augmentation so that she would show it off on public. It was for her own self-esteem. She needs to know that as long as the divorce is still pending I have some authority over her. I was the one that paid for her confidence level to go higher. What should i do?


Sue her! Make her get them surgically removed and returned to you gift wrapped. >

Then they are all yours to enjoy...LMAO

Bibi


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Something tells me you couldn't stop her from dating when you guys were together, you sure as hell can't stop her from dating when you are separated.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

Give poor pimple guy a break. Maybe mommy just stopped breastfeeding his pimply a$$ at 16 and that's why he is soooo focused on a pair just for himself. 

Bibi


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Sounds like there are 3 boobs in this thread😏


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## dadstartingover (Oct 23, 2015)

boltam said:


> Speaking of women going bonkers over a boob job.. my now exwife had FIVE of them. 3 while we were together. First was too big, second wasn't the right shape, apparently the third had problems two, so she had a couple more post divorce.


Mine had two in two years. Cashed in her 401k to pay for them.


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

Control over someone because of a boob job. Imagine the influence gynecologists have? Sheesh...


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## Sammy64 (Oct 28, 2013)

MatthewO said:


> My wife and I have been separated for 2 months now. We don't have any children. I bought a new place for myself while she's staying at our house. We both own the house. Anyways, that's not the issue. She's solely paying the house bills since she's the one who's currently living there. The issue is why has she started dating right now. We're not divorced yet. When we were together I paid *$3700* for her breast augmentation. So, I believe that rightfully gives me some authority over her. But, she doesn't get it. I told her she shouldn't date anyone when our divorce hasn't yet been finalized. I told her I had the right to tell her to stop but she didn't get the picture. She didn't even get it when we were still together. She wouldn't wear what I would tell her to wear. I mean she would at times wear skimpy dresses. I didn't pay for her augmentation so that she would show it off on public. It was for her own self-esteem. She needs to know that as long as the divorce is still pending I have some authority over her. I was the one that paid for her confidence level to go higher. What should i do?


I lose that on a weekend playing poker ...


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## ReidWright (May 15, 2014)

kristin2349 said:


> And the trend of controlling Weirdo (cough, cough) threads continues...And $3700 for a boob job is the cost of one boob!


maybe he had a "buy one, get one free" coupon for the local Boobs R Us


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

ReidWright said:


> maybe he had a "buy one, get one free" coupon for the local Boobs R Us



:rofl:


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## Vulcan2013 (Sep 25, 2013)

Maybe she could spring for a pen!s enlargement for you? Although she got a pair.

Hmmm...maybe that and one of your boobs?


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## Omego (Apr 17, 2013)

:rofl::rofl::rofl:OMG The entire thread .....


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

Omego said:


> :rofl::rofl::rofl:OMG The entire thread .....


Obvious trolls are funny peeps...albeit annoying too.


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

Trolls and a boob job...well that's a visual I could have lived without


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## BabyBear01 (Dec 2, 2015)

This reads like a "kids" writing. You never control anyone, life doesn't work that way. Unless, you are in a Dom/Sub relationship, and you both agree, control is never what you want over someone. Who cares about her breasts, they aren't on your body and you say you did it for her self esteem, yet, here you are trying to make them about you. Sound fair?!? NO! Also, don't do something for someone and expect something in return, you will always be disappointed. Please, go get some counseling and gain some wisdom. Grow up


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## DanielleBennett (Oct 9, 2015)

I'm sorry if this comes across as rude but why do you care if she’s dating already? You are married, true, but you have a PENDING divorce, which means it is basically done and over with. I don’t think she will have any consequences for dating while it is pending. It’s already been drafted and you’re playing the waiting game. You might as well get in the dating scene when you’re ready and just move on. I don’t understand why when a couple is getting a divorce one of them is so possessive and still get worked up when the other person moves on. I see it happen even though the divorce was over and done with for years! Blows my mind.


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## Gloomy (Nov 9, 2015)

Once separated into separate apartments, is one actually "allowed" to date before the divorce? Aren`t there going to be legal issues here concerning adultery?


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

*My wife has started dating while the divorce is pending. How can I make her s...*

My separation papers say "to treat each other as if you were never married". Legal enough for me ;-)


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## EverythingU.RNot (Sep 2, 2015)

Please tell me this is a joke.


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## EverythingU.RNot (Sep 2, 2015)

DanielleBennett said:


> I'm sorry if this comes across as rude but why do you care if she’s dating already? You are married, true, but you have a PENDING divorce, which means it is basically done and over with. I don’t think she will have any consequences for dating while it is pending. It’s already been drafted and you’re playing the waiting game. You might as well get in the dating scene when you’re ready and just move on. I don’t understand why when a couple is getting a divorce one of them is so possessive and still get worked up when the other person moves on. I see it happen even though the divorce was over and done with for years! Blows my mind.




Control and entitlement are two words that come to mind ....


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## thread the needle (May 4, 2015)

Call Jerry Springer

He knows how to handle these delicate issues 

Dec 18 is about the time the kids get off for xmas break


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

EverythingU.RNot said:


> Control and entitlement are two words that come to mind ....


*Methinks that she was already "dating" prior to your separation from her!

It's likely she had "an admirer" that suggested that if she got a boob job, she would set the world on fire!

And you were conveniently there to finance it for her, greatly thinking that you were going to be the sole beneficiary of her new artwork!

It's time to drop her like a hot rock and let her start cheating on somebody else! *
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ReturntoZero (Aug 31, 2015)

EverythingU.RNot said:


> Control and entitlement are two words that come to mind ....


It's worth noting that we can't "make" anyone else do anything. Relationships are about free will and free choice.

The golden rule is, "People do what they wish to do and they don't do that which they don't wish to do"

We can align incentives up in relationships to encourage and promote the behaviors we want, but the people we're able to "change" stops at the end of our noses. It's a difficult lesson, but it's well-worth learning.


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## Lilac23 (Jul 9, 2015)

MatthewO said:


> My wife and I have been separated for 2 months now. We don't have any children. I bought a new place for myself while she's staying at our house. We both own the house. Anyways, that's not the issue. She's solely paying the house bills since she's the one who's currently living there. The issue is why has she started dating right now. We're not divorced yet. When we were together I paid $3700 for her breast augmentation. So, I believe that rightfully gives me some authority over her. But, she doesn't get it. I told her she shouldn't date anyone when our divorce hasn't yet been finalized. I told her I had the right to tell her to stop but she didn't get the picture. She didn't even get it when we were still together. She wouldn't wear what I would tell her to wear. I mean she would at times wear skimpy dresses. I didn't pay for her augmentation so that she would show it off on public. It was for her own self-esteem. She needs to know that as long as the divorce is still pending I have some authority over her. I was the one that paid for her confidence level to go higher. What should i do?


:rofl: :lol:


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