# hopeless and hurting



## loveyoutodeath (Aug 5, 2013)

I am new here and like most not wanting to be.It's been 3 weeks since my husband and i are apart.We have been together 8 years married almost 3.We are apart cause he got arrested for damestic abuse but thats not what happened.I have just been told i have post tramatic stress disorder and was in a flashback at the time we argued the cops came and took him away.It was hours later that i remembered what happened.Now he is in trouble but at the same time said we are over.I haven't heard anything from him since.Could be the no contact rule from his bail but i don't think so.I am sick over what happened and the fact he just gave up on me and threw me away like i am nothing.We go to court in a week.I am wondering will he ever want to talk to me again or does he even miss me at all.He told my kids he loves me to pieces but it's over.That was after the second day when it was still fresh.Will he ever want to talk or see me.I am trying to better myself i am in therapy and on meds.doing better but still feeling hopeless.


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## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

loveyoutodeath said:


> I am new here and like most not wanting to be.It's been 3 weeks since my husband and i are apart.We have been together 8 years married almost 3.We are apart cause he got arrested for damestic abuse but thats not what happened.I have just been told i have post tramatic stress disorder and was in a flashback at the time we argued the cops came and took him away.It was hours later that i remembered what happened.Now he is in trouble but at the same time said we are over.I haven't heard anything from him since.Could be the no contact rule from his bail but i don't think so.I am sick over what happened and the fact he just gave up on me and threw me away like i am nothing.We go to court in a week.I am wondering will he ever want to talk to me again or does he even miss me at all.He told my kids he loves me to pieces but it's over.That was after the second day when it was still fresh.Will he ever want to talk or see me.I am trying to better myself i am in therapy and on meds.doing better but still feeling hopeless.


If he has a no contact rule as a condition of bail why would he contact you? He was told by the court to stay away or his bail will be revoked and it will land him in jail. Hes following what the law told him to do. He's in enough trouble already.

Leave him alone for now. Go to counceling and help yourself with your PTSD.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## loveyoutodeath (Aug 5, 2013)

I am already getting help.Can't help but wonder whats after that.He promised he would do this with me but he seems to think i got him in trouble on spite.he only went with me once to therapy.I even told the cops and the DA what happened.what more can i do die.


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## loveyoutodeath (Aug 5, 2013)

i feel that my ptsd not only messed up my life it has now cost me the man i am so in love with.It's like my childhood abuser is still taking things from me.


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## jdlash (Jun 18, 2012)

loveyoutodeath said:


> I am already getting help.Can't help but wonder whats after that.He promised he would do this with me but he seems to think i got him in trouble on spite.he only went with me once to therapy.I even told the cops and the DA what happened.what more can i do die.


Fix yourself on your own. Why is it his job to fix you? Get help and leave him alone. Your saying he went to jail because of you. He is going to have to go through months of court because of you no matter if you changed your mind and told them it was a mistake or not. He is going to have to spend money because of you. 

If you really care about him, you will focus on you and only you. Unless you can fix your problems because you really want them fixed and not just to get him back, then he deserves way better then you. 

I'm not trying to be mean, but why focus on him when you can spend that time and energy fixing yourself?


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## jdlash (Jun 18, 2012)

I hope you take that the right way because my main point is that we can only control the things withing our control. The only thing within our control in all reality is ourselves. If you turn your life into something your happy with, you won't have a problem getting him, or any other good man to spend time with you.


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## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

Bottom line if conditions of his bail say he cannot contact you hen - by law- he cannot contact you period. Is he supposed to violate his bail for you? Again like jdlash said we're not trying to be mean but because of this whole mess yes you are going to have to do this on your own right now.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## loveyoutodeath (Aug 5, 2013)

Wow i went to therapy today and discoved my ptsd was triggered by my husbands constant control of me.From when we were allowed to have sex to him making me drive him to and from work to control were i am to taking all the money.To doing nothing in this marriage but go to work and then come home and treat me like i am nothing.And here i was thinking i am nothing and worthless and that i didn't deserve him causei could never do all he demanded.So all on here that said take care of myself first and leave him alone that was the best advise i ever had.


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## loveyoutodeath (Aug 5, 2013)

I can't beileave i was that blind.............


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