# wife walked out



## thfc91 (Feb 6, 2013)

Hi everyone, think I have found this place to late to save my marriage, my wife wwlked out on me yesterday, this is the2nd time albeit she didnt stay away very long last time
We have been together 8 years, married for 3 and dont have children, im 39 and she is 34
My wife has depression and has been on prozac for many years, generally day to day she is fine but has bouts of feeling low periodically but I feel like I have supported her in my own way even though she proberbly wouldnt agree 
We have had problems for a long time (premarriage) in paticluer our nonexistent sex life, this is a real problem for me and its just not important to her
She left initially as I found some emails from an ex and confronted her, this was 18 months ago, we had some counselling and our relationship improved for a while 
I dont think she was having an affair as he is based over 200 miles away but yiu never know really

Fast forward to the presant day, she started a new job and since then has built her own little social life around work, we do very little together and have little in common 

Anyway after her last day out with 4 singke girks from work on an all day session I told her how unhappy I was and things needed to change 

I had hoped we would be able to work it out and we would both start geting what we wanted from the relationship but shehas left tp stay with her sister and has told me she will be movimg out permanently closer to work In a houseshare

She has said she doesnt belive we can work it out

Im not sure how I feel, a little relieved but devestated at the same time and angry that my wife wont commit to working on our marriage 

Any views would be appreciated


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Started hanging out with single women, RED FLAG. Best bet is to go cold on her for now. Check phone records. Separate finances and wait a while. Sorry you're here bro. Don't beg or plead it looks weak.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

So what do you think your wife's side of the story would be? 

C


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## thfc91 (Feb 6, 2013)

tom67 said:


> Started hanging out with single women, RED FLAG. Best bet is to go cold on her for now. Check phone records. Separate finances and wait a while. Sorry you're here bro. Don't beg or plead it looks weak.


Thanks tom, yeah have gone cold on her not sure I even want her back at the moment


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## thfc91 (Feb 6, 2013)

PBear said:


> So what do you think your wife's side of the story would be?
> 
> C


I know she doesnt feel supported emotionally by me, difficult when there is no intimacy


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## MrHappy (Oct 23, 2008)

You can't fix her! Work on yourself and find someone else. You'll be MUCH happier in the long run.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

Sounds like she has made up her mind and has totally left the relationship. All you can do is focus on you and start to rebuild your life. Get yourself busy and active. Time will take care of the rest. Good thing you don't have kids to worry about.

Good luck to you and sorry you're going through this. Just remember to take care of yourself.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

It could be the intimacy is saved for someone else so there is the catch 22.


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## thfc91 (Feb 6, 2013)

Thanks all 

Re an affair she could be but I dont think so, she even said she was happy plodding along before I put a stop to that recently


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

thfc91 said:


> I know she doesnt feel supported emotionally by me, difficult when there is no intimacy


Preach.

If she showed signs of this before marriage I can only imagine how bad it got for you during...


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## MrHappy (Oct 23, 2008)

Also, ALPHA up some. Sounds like you have been tip toeing around her problems to not cause problems. That won't work well trying to find someone new.


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## Drover (Jun 11, 2012)

this reeks of nice guy syndrome.


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## thfc91 (Feb 6, 2013)

Drover said:


> this reeks of nice guy syndrome.


I think I was happy with a quiet life and avoided the inevitable conflict that would come from the sex life issue for too long


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

be happy she left she sounds like a bi*ch.

no kids great move on.


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

If saving the marriage is important to you than I suggest you wait it out for a bit. See if she realizes she made a mistake then place some non negotiable commitments on her. Like seeing a counsleo exploring her sexuality and spending time with you..not her girlfriends.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## thfc91 (Feb 6, 2013)

tracyishere said:


> If saving the marriage is important to you than I suggest you wait it out for a bit. See if she realizes she made a mistake then place some non negotiable commitments on her. Like seeing a counsleo exploring her sexuality and spending time with you..not her girlfriends.
> _Posted via Mobile
> 
> I dont think so, i cant trust a women who has walked out on me twice, she has no commitment to our marriage and im better off without her_


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## thfc91 (Feb 6, 2013)

Just a quick update, mainly because it helps to post in here 

Its been almost a week now, we have had very little contact aside from a few emails, she sent me an email the day after she left whichwas a listof our joint household bills!, she also said that she woukd always love and care for me but didnt think we could work it out, I felt it was a bit soon to be sending stuff like this and told her she had no need to contact me until the weekend 

Fast forward to saturday and she comes over, I was out but got back as she was leaving, I hadleft her a note, household stuff and wishing her luck in the future, she was in the process of writing me a note, we had a discussion on bills, our joint mortgage and the 4k she has on my credit card. 

During our discussion I tryed to keep my emotians in check but I did get angry a couple of times, she never left the note. 

Its all very clinical from her side, she can ill afford to live somewhere else andpay the mortgage at our home although she has taken advice (which I belive is wrong, she wprks for a uk divorce lawyer :rofl that if she moves out she doesnt have topay her half of the joint mortgage, she must really hate me as she will be broke.

For me I have seen plenty of friends and family inthe last few days and altjough I have been upset at times it hssnt hit me as hard as i thought it might, its still tough snd im notsure I have fully accepted it yet but im working on improvong myself as a person and trying to look forward


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## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

You need your own lawyer. I have no idea about UK divorce laws so you need your own lawyer to protect yourself.


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

Wish her luck. (she'll need it)
Start looking out for number one. (you)


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## Kaboom (Feb 6, 2013)

tfhc - I actually envy you. You get to start over.


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## thfc91 (Feb 6, 2013)

Kaboom said:


> tfhc - I actually envy you. You get to start over.


Its still early in the split so difficult to see the many benefits of being single again


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

thfc91 said:


> married for 3 and don't have children, I'm 39...


You probably have no idea how guys like me and Kaboom would kill to be in your shoes. I know it doesn't help, but she did you a favor. Take full advantage of it.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

200 miles does not prevent an affair. Folks carry on affairs at much greater distance.


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## thfc91 (Feb 6, 2013)

MrK said:


> You probably have no idea how guys like me and Kaboom would kill to be in your shoes. I know it doesn't help, but she did you a favor. Take full advantage of it.


Thanks, im sure I will realise that soon, good luck to you


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

thfc91 said:


> Its still early in the split so difficult to see the many benefits of being single again


Take the opportunity to work on yourself.


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## Enginerd (May 24, 2011)

Its pretty rare for a women to just walk out without some solid prospects. You said she's very clinical so she must have mentally broke up with you months ago.


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## thfc91 (Feb 6, 2013)

Enginerd said:


> Its pretty rare for a women to just walk out without some solid prospects. You said she's very clinical so she must have mentally broke up with you months ago.


She has toldme sheis going to ne living in a house share, with strangers presumably, im not asking anymore, its her life she can do what she wants 


She has been clinical but then so have I during the split, your right though she has put very little into the marriage in the last year and I could have done a lot more 

As much as it hurts it was the right thing to do


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