# EA he filed came home and has left several times help!



## regretfullyhis

I am not sure where I should post...I am a 33 year old woman and deeply in love with my husband. He started using pain killers and became addicted to them for over a year and pout us in dire financil strain as we own our own business. We still 2 years later struggling with this off and on. And more than ever are going week to week to keep our business and household afloat. Anyways the addiction I didnt become aware of until after a year in. another year went by and I made the stupidest decision I could ever had mad....I started talking to my ex husband (a little background he and I married when I was 16 as I was pregnant and we also had a second child when I was 21 but he was on probabtion had a drug issue and I stuck by him, although cheating as he was in prison I cheated he got out then went back I re met my current husband who I went to jr high school with and fell deeply in love with. We divorced and I married my current husband and we terminated my ex husbands parental rights and he adopted my two sons as he raised them at ages 4 yr and the other was 18 months. ex husband got out then we found out went in again and stayed for two years. I believe he got out in 2011 fall.) my oldest son had some troubles and contacted him and I was made aware. I started talking to him strictly on phone and texting as me and my husband were distant. It is not justifiable. I should NEVER had made that choice. In my mind because of the 2 years of lies my current husband had put me through the horrible fights and decption I made it okay I suppose in my mind. So in march two weeks after I ended the phone calls and texts my current husband looked through our phone records and told his family. Without even telling me he spent $2100 on a lawyer and because I had come home and our phone records were laid all over the living room and highlighted my exes calls, I went and filed as well another $3000. He took our kids with his mom and went to Missouri then begged me to come and later I found out he told his family I followed him. Anyways that was a mess we fought. Two days later he came back said he wanted to make it work. Then I was arrested for a DWI and he found additional messages that had happened during same time period and he met with his ex girlfriend that has always been an issue over things I have heard from her that he cheated before we got married. Anyways. Every few weeks we have horrible fights as I feel he isnt interested in me and pulls away. He constantly says he cant help but think about this and its not like he can quickly get over it. I do not know how to prove or make this better. My question is for those who have been on his side of things what can or has your spouse done to make you feel better and rebuild your marriage. I hate what I did, it didnt mean anything close to what he thinks I never had a PA but he thinks I may have.


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## regretfullyhis

I can add so much more but didnt want it to turn into a novel...He has and gets so angry says mean things I just want to be happy again, our sex he never initiates, I complain the spark is gone and he says he feels horrible, his ego is blown, he feels like a piece of crap that his wife did this, he feels like I am not being honest and doesnt believe I really love him an says I complain about him. But I complain because I want his affection his attention, to feel special to him??


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## hotdogs

Sounds like you both need some serious therapy. Drug addictions, incarceration, DWI... That is some high drama and the state of your marriage depends on the state of both your mental health. The kids are getting the raw deal here. Y'all need to do something. Take the money you spent on lawyers and get to the nearest couch!


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## regretfullyhis

Ok my DWI is being dropped to lesser charge or being dismissed I have narcolepsy and had started a new medication. Kids had no idea not do they hear of us disagreeing. We are both very good to our kids which was another issue that would be heart breaking. My ex husband went to prison not this husband and because of how long he was there and lack of parental ability we terminated his rights. He was in a program and NA and that's not something we shared with our kids as he even left (before what I did) to get that taken care of
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## regretfullyhis

I need advice from men or women who have been on his side of things I want to be able to show him I am worthy of this second chance but he can't keep bringing back up and expecting to get over it can he? I love this man and he thinks it was so much more than what it was.
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## ferndog

You need to write him a letter.
Explain that you didn't do anything physical but still admit to being wrong. Tell him what your willing to do to get his trust and then do it if he gives you a chance. He must learn to forgive you and move forward (if he wants to give it a try). If he doesn't forgive you then get ready for a very unhappy marriage.

Side note, you don't see it. Your in love so it will be hard for you to see this but your relationship is toxic.
It runs deeper than you think. He needs to admit his faults and get help with the addiction. He needs to stop wasting the financial resources and focus on drastic (positive) life changes.

Only he can do this and it's better if you stay away for a while and see if he gets better. If he doesn't then cut your loses or else you'll be in the hell hold for years and it will still end up bad.
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