# WOw



## GavenX2 (Mar 14, 2011)

Hello All,

So here is my story, needless to say I am in a great deal of pain and very confused.

I was married in August of 2010 after five years together, I was married about 19 years ago and swore I would never do it again but I felt I finally found a woman I could trust. This woman treated me like a king, she made me feel special, she made me feel extraordinary and told me time and time again she would never do anything to hurt me. About a week before we got married she told me again that she would never want a divorce and would do anything to save her marriage.

I treated this woman like a queen, I did everything for her, everything. I got her the house she wanted, I spoiled her rotten, I showered her with gifts weekly, I would tell her every day that I loved her, I would send her messages daily letting her know how I felt about her and she usually returned the messages.

I have never cheated on this woman because that just isn't me, I wouldn't want to feel the pain caused by being cheated on and I wouldn't want her to feel that pain either.

So I am away on a business trip last week, I left Monday, that weekend we saw a movie together, we had great sex everything felt great when I left.

On Friday I realized I was going to have to stay the weekend and possibly the next week to finish the job I was away on so I booked her a flight to come spend the weekend with me, I was so excited to see her and surprise her with the trip.

I tried to call her to tell her the good news and couldnt reach her, after several attempts she sent me a text and told me she was with a customer at work and would call me back shortly. Nothing out of the norm. For the last couple of weeks I had my mother staying with me while they closed on their new house (they were moving from out of state to be closer to me, buying their dream home to retire in) and before my wife called me back I received a text from my mom that said call me, so I did and I said whats up, she then dropped the bomb. My wife had packed up and moved out. Needless to say I was shocked and completely NUMB! I took a few minutes while tears started to fall from my eyes regained my composure then called my wife, she finally answered and acted as if everything was normal as did I. I was waiting for her to say something and she didn't so I finally said what is going on? She then burst into tears and said she wanted a divorce. She basically robbed me blind while I was away on business and didn't have the guts to tell me what was going on. How does this happen?

I was in complete shock over the next few days, here I was stuck in a hotel room, I couldn't leave because the job I was doing was in the most important phase and a lot of money was on the line but to be honest I had zero desire to go home to find what she had done. 

Over the next few days we started talking a little bit and although I had every right to be a complete a$$ I did not, I love this woman dearly and she I thought loved me. She would tell me on the phone that she loved me and was still in love with me all that week, she told me she wanted to see me when I got back so we could sit down and talk. I was and am very confused.

I returned this past Friday and all the while she told me she wanted to see me that night, I touched base with her that night and she told me Saturday afternoon, Saturday afternoon never heard a word and nothing Saturday night. Sunday morning I received a message said she was available at 2:00, she arrived at 2:00 we hugged, cried and she told me she didn't want to spend the rest of her life with someone she couldn't trust. I responded. "WHAT" I have never done anything to deceive this woman, I have NEVER cheated on her. Where did this come from, she had no explanation. She said we were done.

Needless to say I am shocked and my whole life has been turned upside-down. 

I love this woman and I waited my whole life for her but now she has betrayed everything she ever led me to believe, what am I to do?

At what point to I get mad for what she has done? This aside from cheating is the ultimate betrayal in my eyes. Who does this type stuff? I could never imagine her doing something like this.

We still had the dining room table full of gifts from our wedding, they are gone, she took almost everything she could carry with the help of her sister, isnt this a robbery?

What should I do?

Thank you!


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

You need to figure out what happened. Tell her you love her and want to make it work. Get into MC. 

YouTube - Prevent My Divorce: The Walkaway Wife Syndrome
chances are its a form of walkaway wife or she cheated.

Was your wife quiet? Would she tell you openly when she was hurt and why?

If it is that, this is probably salvageable, but you need to figure out what happened.


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## Mustang! (Jan 17, 2011)

Well so far it sounds like you just need more info. I think she might think you cheated on her.. or maybe she found out about some debt you forgot to tell her about. 

There is A LOT more to this story then what you've told us to far.. and you need to get to the bottom of this quickly if you want any chance at saving your relationship.


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

Sorry about what you are going through.

I'm certainly not an expert, but my wife and I briefly discussed divorce some time ago, and I began to try to better understand the laws and guidelines. One book I bought was written specifically for my state by a well known dirvorce lawyer. Interestingly, one of his first warnings was that regardless of the state you live in, absolutely do not remove property or money without the spouse's knowledge. Said that in the eyes of any judge, this is the best way to shoot yourself in the foot and get the raw end of the divorce.

My recommendation: Obviously, she assumed that you would just roll over and accept this instead of taking a stand for the marriage. Let her know that the nice guy has left the building for a while. Schedule appointments with several of the top divorce attorneys in your area, explain the situation, but let them know you are talking to others and will get back to them. It will be highly unlikely that they would take your wife as a client. The one you choose will direct you on how to address the stolen property, so you should go ahead and start putting together a list. Protect your money also. Now, its purely a defensive thing, and she should come to you if she needs the joint money.

In many states, shared property and finances obtained while married to her are the only areas for consideration in a potential divorce, and even then, it is based upon her contribution unless she needs temporary help to adjust to life on her own..

What I'm saying is that it is obvious that the nice guy is not going to win her over and have her change her mind. Relentlessly pursue the legal aspect, and be tough as nails about it without being vindictive. Treating her like a queen hasn't helped so far, so I'm just saying that you should take a different approach. Just because you start the divorce machine doesn't mean it can't be stopped.

If she later asks to reconcile, preload it with tough conditions, such as therapy.


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