# How do you bring up getting checked out?



## one_strange_otter (Aug 26, 2008)

**disclaimer**
I'm not dating, I'm still in the house with my STBXW and we promised no dating until separate and officially divorced. This is just food for thought.


So, your back in the dating pool. You've been in a very long relationship with one person. The thought of STD's never crossed your mind because, well, you've only been with one person who you know their entire history and there's not doubt they are clean. But, you get interested in someone new. Things are starting to work. Kissing turns into heavy petting which turns into....well you get the idea.

At what point do you say "hey, nothing personal but, I don't really know your history that well. Would you mind terribly getting a full STD test at the doctor and show me your clear before we continue?"

Like I said, just food for thought. However, the thought of dating and having sex and all the diseases out there scares the crap out of me.....


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Well, this is 2012, it's not exactly a strange thing to ask.

Make it a compliment. Say that you're feeling very interested, and that you are certainly attracted to her, and as such, you probably should both get tested, for both of your safety.

Any woman who has been on the dating scene for any time at all will appreciate this. 

It was hard for me as well, since my wild days were before the whole safe sex thing, but we adapt. We adapt.


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## one_strange_otter (Aug 26, 2008)

It honestly makes me nervous to even go out to clubs. You get to drinking, some girl shows interest, it's been a year, little brain takes over thinking for the big brain......next thing you know you got the herpes.....

I jest, but there's sincerity in there somewhere.


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## unsure78 (Oct 17, 2011)

actually thats a good question was kinda wondering that myself, after ex cheated on me i got full STD tests but I also was wondering, for future reference, how to bring that up? Is it really just like that lamaga, you just striaght out ask?


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

I asked dh when we were dating for a report showing he was clean, and provided him one before messing around. Can't be too careful now
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## As You Wish (Jun 5, 2012)

It's awkward and uncomfortable, but if you're having sex with someone, you should be able to get past that. lol


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Unsure, yeah, you really do just kind of bring it up. No, it's not fun, but anyone who is old enough to have sex is old enough to have that conversation. Look at it as a litmus test


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## toolforgrowth (Apr 24, 2012)

The lady I'm currently seeing asked for a full STD check, which I provided. Didn't hurt my feelings at all; totally understandable this day and age.

I also had a vasectomy, but I can't find the papers on them...so, she's still insisting on condoms in the meantime.  I understand where she's coming from, just gotta wait until the docs arrive from my old health care provider!!

If the person is worth having sex with, they'll provide documentation showing they're clean.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

With my GF, we kept things under wraps for the first few months. I'm snipped, she's on the pill, but to protect us both it wasn't a hard decision. And yes, I know that condoms don't protect against everything, but you do what you can, and do up close and personal exams. 

We have great communication, especially about anything related to sex. So it was talked about quite early that until we both had clean tests, there would be no un-gloved love. So one day, we both made appointments to get our tests done. And then a week later, we went in together to get our results. And all I'll say is that the wait was sure worth it! 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Either ask or get the gift that keeps on giving. Seriously, as an adult, you gotta act like one.


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