# BJ Mishap



## LovelyLucy (Aug 30, 2015)

My hubby ejaculated in my mouth when I was giving him a BJ this afternoon, despite what has always been a bright line rule and I feel disgusted, angry and disrespected. 

My hubby and I were enjoying the last few hours of the holiday weekend in bed. We were engaged in routine foreplay. It took a number of years but I finally got comfortable giving my husband a BJ provided he didn't ejaculate in my mouth. I don't know if it was intentional, accidental or what happened but he ejaculated in my mouth this afternoon. I immediately started gagging followed by vomiting. I feel completely disrespected, disgusted and am generally angry. He apologized (kind of) helped me clean up the mess from vomiting and then just went out and mowed the yard as if nothing happened. He has accused me of overreacting and that it isn't a big deal. I know some couples go all the way with BJs and that is fine for them. It has always been a rule and clear understanding I would give him BJs if he exercised control. He completely violated that understanding and I don't know what to do.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

Did you ask him what happened? 

What do you mean by sort of?


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## anonmd (Oct 23, 2014)

Where does he usually ejaculate? 

He should have been able to pull out in time, on the other hand your reaction is extreme.


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## LainyLove22 (Aug 22, 2015)

He knows the rule that you will provide a BJ for him but he is not to cum in your mouth and clearly broke the rule. 

No biggie for him ?? I say he's in the penalty box of " no bj 's " for at least a month. That will teach him to be more careful !?!? 

Hope you get to enjoy at least the remaining of the holiday somehow ?


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

> I don't know if it was intentional, accidental or what happened


So, why didn't you ask him what happened?


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Burn him at the stake.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

How can you NOT know when your H is about to go? Those signs are pretty hard to miss. If you missed those signs, it's very possible that he wasn't able to stop in time. That happens. Sometimes that orgasm just sneaks up and is THERE! Not so common in women though. I have had a few surprise orgasms...kind weird that I'm orgasming without the usual build up.

What's the big deal about him ejaculating in your mouth? You don't have to swallow it. Just let it dribble out of you mouth and use your hand to spread it all over his package. You do realize how important this is to most men right? That they get to finish in your mouth makes that BJ an amazingly wonderful thing for them.

Does your H go down on you? Do you enjoy it? How would you feel if he backed away just before you orgasmed so he doesn't get any girl jizz on him?

However, if you thought you two were going to have PIV and he ejaculated and wasn't able to go on to PIV, I'd be a tad disappointed.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

This is also a hard boundary in my sexual relationship with my husband and he too 'forgot himself' one time with the same result. The only difference between your mishap and mine was that I threw up *ON *him. Also my H was extremely apologetic afterwards. After I had some time to cool off, I realized this was an honest mistake and one that I'm sure H would not repeat in the future.

Rest assured, your response was not an overreaction. Not by a long shot. This is more than one partner's sexual preference over the other. This is a matter of trust. You trusted your husband to respect your sexual boundary. He failed to do so which had immediate consequences (puke) and mostly likely long-term ones as well. During the months following my mishap, I hesitated to give my H bjs and when I did, they were the 'cautious' kind (think spooked deer). He had to earn my trust back. 

Having been in your situation, I would calmly discuss the incident with your husband and explain to him the importance of him respecting your wishes on this matter. Explain to him that one of the reasons that you enjoy giving him BJs is because you trust him to not ejaculate in your mouth. Tell him that the experience would not be enjoyable if you cannot trust him to follow through with his side of your understanding.

I will say this, you'll know the level of respect he has for you based on his response to the above conversation.


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## Quigster (Aug 1, 2015)

LovelyLucy said:


> My hubby ejaculated in my mouth when I was giving him a BJ this afternoon, despite what has always been a bright line rule and I feel disgusted, angry and disrespected.


#FirstWorldProblems

I did that to my ex-wife once. On purpose. Like you, she had this rule that I could never cum in her mouth. I was pretty sneaky about it and didn't warn her one time. 

That was the second-to-last time she ever tried to bring me off that way, but it was totally worth it. (The first-to-last time was when she suspected I was having an affair and was trying to win me back. By then, of course, it was much too late.)

If you're that mad about it, then just never go down on him again. Then it will never be an issue. Of course, he might find somebody else who is willing to take him in her mouth. Just sayin'.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> How can you NOT know when your H is about to go? Those signs are pretty hard to miss. If you missed those signs, it's very possible that he wasn't able to stop in time. That happens. Sometimes that orgasm just sneaks up and is THERE! Not so common in women though. I have had a few surprise orgasms...kind weird that I'm orgasming without the usual build up.
> 
> What's the big deal about him ejaculating in your mouth? You don't have to swallow it. Just let it dribble out of you mouth and use your hand to spread it all over his package. You do realize how important this is to most men right? That they get to finish in your mouth makes that BJ an amazingly wonderful thing for them.
> 
> ...


Sexual preferences are not equally shared by all. Some women enjoy having a man's ejaculate in their mouth. Some women find it disgusting. The OP (and I for that matter) are part of the latter group. 

Everyone has their hard sexual limits and I think it's unfair to judge any woman who won't do one particular sex act as selfish. If OP's husband accepted her hard limits, then he has to abide by them regardless of how 'most' men feel about the act itself.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Lila said:


> Sexual preferences are not equally shared by all. Some women enjoy having a man's ejaculate in their mouth. Some women find it disgusting. The OP (and I for that matter) are part of the latter group.
> 
> Everyone has their hard sexual limits and I think it's unfair to judge any woman who won't do one particular sex act as selfish. If OP's husband accepted her hard limits, then he has to abide by them regardless of how 'most' men feel about the act itself.


Had to go back and read my post...yup, never said she was selfish. 

I don't think there are many women who start out, new to sex and new to BJ's who think, "oh yummy that jizz is delish!" It is an acquired taste, like wine and scotch. I like wine, never could learn to like scotch and boy I tried! I don't like the taste of semen, but it doesn't make me puke. I a, very lucky because my husband doesn't give a damn if I swallow or not, he just doesn't want a blow job to end right when he is about to come. I don't blame him at all.

I guess what I'm trying to say is if your man goes down on you happily, lovingly and enthusiastically, you should do the same for him, or do your best to try to do the same.


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## Tobin (Jun 24, 2015)

I can't believe a woman would make such a big deal about some cum in her mouth.. to the point that she gags and vomits.

That's beyond ridiculous and it makes me appreciate the women I've been with that much more.

This is a personal hangup, it has nothing to do with your husband or his ejaculate. The stuff aint gonna kill you. It's not even harmful.

Some people need to learn to lighten up.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Tobin said:


> I can't believe a woman would make such a big deal about some cum in her mouth.. to the point that she gags and vomits.
> 
> That's beyond ridiculous and it makes me appreciate the women I've been with that much more.
> 
> ...


Have you ever had it squirted in your mouth?


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Anon Pink said:


> What's the big deal about him ejaculating in your mouth? You don't have to swallow it.


It's a big deal to some women. Some women (like me) hate it. But, I also hate cough medicine and the worst part of my c-sections was having to drink the anti-nausea medication before-hand. I wish the inside of my mouth was more tolerant to certain liquids but it isn't. If I wasn't expecting it, I'd probably vomit, too. (And the only way I've ever done it is in the shower, and never swallowed). 

I'm not ashamed of this and I don't think it makes me a bad partner.


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## Tobin (Jun 24, 2015)

SecondTime'Round said:


> Have you ever had it squirted in your mouth?


Yeah once. I was between girlfriends, hadn't jacked off in a while and I surprised myself with the volume I produced following a 5 minute session with my favorite Asian porn. Didn't mind the taste one bit.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Tobin said:


> Yeah once. I was between girlfriends, hadn't jacked off in a while and I surprised myself with the volume I produced following a 5 minute session with my favorite Asian porn. Didn't mind the taste one bit.


Uh-huh. You must be quite flexible to pull that off.


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## Cara (Aug 15, 2010)

Tobin said:


> I can't believe a woman would make such a big deal about some cum in her mouth.. to the point that she gags and vomits.
> 
> That's beyond ridiculous and it makes me appreciate the women I've been with that much more.
> 
> ...


Well, if it is such as small thing, "beyond ridiculous" and all, perhaps she should just not make the effort to do this small thing for him. After all, nobody promises to happily guzzle cum in their marriage vows. I guess the husband can "lighten up" on expecting BJs in the future.

Marriage is nothing if boundaries are not lovingly respected and a sincere apology (whether meant or not) goes a long way to regaining trust.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> Had to go back and read my post...yup, never said she was selfish.
> 
> I don't think there are many women who start out, new to sex and new to BJ's who think, "oh yummy that jizz is delish!" It is an acquired taste, like wine and scotch. I like wine, never could learn to like scotch and boy I tried! I don't like the taste of semen, but it doesn't make me puke. I a, very lucky because my husband doesn't give a damn if I swallow or not, he just doesn't want a blow job to end right when he is about to come. I don't blame him at all.
> 
> I guess what I'm trying to say is if your man goes down on you happily, lovingly and enthusiastically, you should do the same for him, or do your best to try to do the same.





Personal said:


> Since sex tends to be a bit messy accidents do sometimes happen, if ejaculate in the mouth is disgusting closed mouth facials are a great alternative.
> 
> That said you are barking up the wrong tree, *at no point did Anon Pink claim that LovelyLucy was being selfish*.


AP, I stand corrected. You were only explaining to OP what most men think of bjs to completion.

I was reading all of the other posts implying as such and lumped you into that group. 

As to trying to finish oral sex on him because he finishes her, I think we found something that we disagree on . I just don't think anyone should feel like they have to reciprocate a known hard boundary as long as both parties are made aware of and have agree to the 'rules'.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Personal said:


> A Google search turns up lots of men who self felate. Although it's not my thing, it seems they enjoy it.


Interesting. I'd still challenge him to enjoy another man doing it into his mouth. I equate it to how some people like the smell of their own farts.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

LovelyLucy said:


> He completely violated that understanding and I don't know what to do.


Did you throw up on him or on the bed?
What do you want to do about it?
What do you want him to do about it?


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

LovelyLucy said:


> My hubby ejaculated in my mouth when I was giving him a BJ this afternoon, despite what has always been a bright line rule and I feel disgusted, angry and disrespected.
> 
> ... I immediately started gagging followed by vomiting. I feel completely disrespected, disgusted and am generally angry.


It may be helpful to try and put the shoe on the other foot and try to think of what it would be like to be the other person. 

Let's say your husband was giving you oral sex on your vagina but refused to allow you to orgasm this way. For reasons unknown you really enjoy it and could not help but to have an orgasm, and you husband immediately proceeds to vomit all over place and he gets angry with you. 

Who is disrespecting who in this situation? 

I would advise you to forgive him, and if you really have issues with semen in your mouth, simply place a condom over just the tip of his penis. Or you could apply a femdom technique and apply pressure specifically to the urethra at the base of his penis so that no semen can pass through when he is close. When he begins to orgasm this will become slightly painful until he signals you to stop and let go and only then will he begin to ejaculate normally. This should avoid any semen getting into your mouth.

Regards, 
Badsanta


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

Lila said:


> I was reading all of the other posts implying as such and lumped you into that group.


The only people remotely implying she was selfish, posted after your response to Anon.

I knew someone would misread Personal's post.


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## Tobin (Jun 24, 2015)

SecondTime'Round said:


> Interesting. I'd still challenge him to enjoy another man doing it into his mouth. I equate it to how some people like the smell of their own farts.


You could challenge me but it wouldn't be a relevant comparison. You're asking me to participate in a homosexual experience, but I'm strictly hetero. It would be like me asking you to go down on another woman- assuming of course you are not gay or bi. 



Cara said:


> nobody promises to happily guzzle cum in their marriage vows.


It was number 4 on my list. You should have heard the crowd when that one came out. Surprised isn't even the right word for it.



SecondTime'Round said:


> Uh-huh. You must be quite flexible to pull that off.


Curved upwards so the trajectory is just about perfect. Flexibility has nothing to do with it, I never said I could reach it with. my mouth.



Cara said:


> Marriage is nothing if boundaries are not lovingly respected and a sincere apology (whether meant or not) goes a long way to regaining trust.


Marriage is nothing if the wife is so uptight that she can't handle a mouthful of semen.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

phillybeffandswiss said:


> Lila said:
> 
> 
> > I was reading all of the other posts implying as such and lumped you into that group.
> ...


I would respectfully ask that you keep your posts on topic. Let's avoid a threadjack.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

Lila said:


> I would respectfully ask that you keep your posts on topic. Let's avoid a threadjack.


Gladly and I'll ask the same of you.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

phillybeffandswiss said:


> Lila said:
> 
> 
> > I would respectfully ask that you keep your posts on topic. Let's avoid a threadjack.
> ...


That's what I've been doing, so of course.


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## Okguy (Aug 25, 2015)

I have no desire to cum all over my wife's face or in her mouth. Her vagina is more than satisfying.


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## Template (Aug 2, 2011)

Better to ask forgiveness than to ask permission?


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

Lila said:


> That's what I've been doing, so of course.


So have I.


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## Tobin (Jun 24, 2015)

Okguy said:


> I have no desire to cum all over my wife's face or in her mouth. Her vagina is more than satisfying.


Thanks for sharing. :smile2:


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Template said:


> Better to ask forgiveness than to ask permission?


It depends on whether or not you care about your relationship with someone who has very specifically said "no" already. If you really don't care, then violating those boundaries will be a pretty obvious clue.


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## Okguy (Aug 25, 2015)

You are welcome Tobin


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## Okguy (Aug 25, 2015)

No it does not Personal


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## rich84 (Mar 30, 2015)

My wife gave me a bj in a movie theater when we were dating. She has an aversion and a rule about CIM like some of the women in this thread. Only I didn't know it at the time. Where was I supposed to go? Glaze the popcorn? So she proceeds to gag and snort and cough and create a generally disruptive scene. She then proceeded to evacuate the contents of her mouth onto my pants and shirt. We bailed shortly thereafter and I couldn't help but laugh. 

I've never not known exactly when I was going to go. You have to be either waiting for the last possible microsecond to pull out or "accidentally" going like the OP's husband. A lot of guys think it is silly for their spouse to react this way, especially if they've ever tried their own stuff just to see what the big deal is. To the poster who said that it's akin to smelling your own farts: I've never thought my own farts smell good. My cum? Can't say that it was all that bad. 

Wife's been gun shy about bj's ever since and of course CIM is off the table. I've had past girlfriends that did this with an enthusiastic smile and it is a huge turn on. But I can live without CIM. And if I want to continue getting bj's I would be wise to respect my wife's boundary. If I did it today? It probably wouldn't be the same laughable situation.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Lila said:


> AP, I stand corrected. You were only explaining to OP what most men think of bjs to completion.
> 
> I was reading all of the other posts implying as such and lumped you into that group.
> 
> As to trying to finish oral sex on him because he finishes her, I think we found something that we disagree on . I just don't think anyone should feel like they have to reciprocate a known hard boundary as long as both parties are made aware of and have agree to the 'rules'.



No problem Lila. :wink2:

I guess my thought is that her H hasn't really agreed to it. Though I don't know too many couples who have been through an exhaustive list of sexual acts checking off hard limits prior to committing. 

Ha, wouldn't that be a hoot if the priests started doing that during the preCana counseling? "Understand that Jesus would want you to do unto others as you would have them do unto you, so go ahead and get used to jizzi in your mouth." LOL!


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## poida (Jan 17, 2014)

I would agree you did ask him not to and he did it anyway but it does sound like a rather extreme reaction.

I think the reality is that we all have sexual needs wants and desires and we should do our best to meet our partners desires.

Personally I don't think a bit of cum in your mouth is that big a deal.

How would you feel if he said going down on you was a deal breaker. Consider that perhaps.

I know my GF would do anything she asked me and me her. 

I think you need to talk to your husband about why it is such a big deal for you.

BTW, why is it such a big deal? Is it simply a really sensitive gag reflex? If so, make a compromise, let him cum on your tongue. Sexier anyway.


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## LovelyLucy (Aug 30, 2015)

We had been married 5 years before I ever gave my hubby a blowjob, it was on his birthday. The morning of his birthday I told him what I planned to do that night and was very clear on that day and ever since if he went in my mouth that it likely would never happen again. There was a definite and clearly defined boundary. I have always been fine taking him right to the edge, have more than once gotten it on my face. I know that when I am tapped on both shoulders I have to be done. There was no shoulder taps this afternoon.

However, after I calmed down this afternoon I decided to forgive him. It's part of marriage. After he mowed, he got together with some friends for dinner. When he got back I was waiting in bed. We talked and I gave him a second bj. This time he followed our rule, and we followed up after the BJ with some makeup sex. Afterwards we talked and I told him I was not going to withhold oral from him or otherwise try and get even, etc. It broke a lot of trust, but accidents happen and we can move on. I never want him to do that again, but I cannot be angry or make a big deal out of it forever.

Everyone has what they like and don't like in bed. For me, I really don't like receiving oral. We tried it a couple times, I had a hard time wanting to kiss him afterwards and would rather passionately kiss when having intercourse. He likes oral and we have learned a compromise, so that he gets what he wants. I can be repulsed by cum just like someone else can be repulsed by other preferences. I guess it is what works for each couple.


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## poida (Jan 17, 2014)

LovelyLucy said:


> We had been married 5 years before I ever gave my hubby a blowjob, it was on his birthday. The morning of his birthday I told him what I planned to do that night and was very clear on that day and ever since if he went in my mouth that it likely would never happen again. There was a definite and clearly defined boundary. I have always been fine taking him right to the edge, have more than once gotten it on my face. I know that when I am tapped on both shoulders I have to be done. There was no shoulder taps this afternoon.
> 
> However, after I calmed down this afternoon I decided to forgive him. It's part of marriage. After he mowed, he got together with some friends for dinner. When he got back I was waiting in bed. We talked and I gave him a second bj. This time he followed our rule, and we followed up after the BJ with some makeup sex. Afterwards we talked and I told him I was not going to withhold oral from him or otherwise try and get even, etc. It broke a lot of trust, but accidents happen and we can move on. I never want him to do that again, but I cannot be angry or make a big deal out of it forever.
> 
> Everyone has what they like and don't like in bed. For me, I really don't like receiving oral. We tried it a couple times, I had a hard time wanting to kiss him afterwards and would rather passionately kiss when having intercourse. He likes oral and we have learned a compromise, so that he gets what he wants. I can be repulsed by cum just like someone else can be repulsed by other preferences. I guess it is what works for each couple.


Sounds reasonable. 

Know that your first post came across as being less so.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Tobin said:


> Yeah once. I was between girlfriends, hadn't jacked off in a while and I surprised myself with the volume I produced following a 5 minute session with my favorite Asian porn. Didn't mind the taste one bit.


:rofl:


I'm going to call you Question Mark from now on!


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

Its been awhile...
But isn't there a way he could just shoot it down the back of your throat, avoiding all taste buds and texture palates?


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## Tobin (Jun 24, 2015)

LovelyLucy said:


> I told him what I planned to do that night and was very clear on that day and ever since if he went in my mouth that it likely would never happen again. I know that when I am tapped on both shoulders I have to be done. There was no shoulder taps this afternoon.


How can this possibly be enjoyable? You think you're doing the guy any sort of favor by giving him a BJ with him knowing that he better give you that double shoulder tap at just the right time, and if there's even the slightest hint of precum or he lets go a first squirt in your mouth then he's finished with BJs for all eternity?

You're not.

If I was stuck in his shoes I'd make sure I gave you a good pasting everywhere else I could possibly reach, while making sure I got cum in every other available orifice.


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## anonmd (Oct 23, 2014)

Give it a rest. Her followup was reasonable.


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## poida (Jan 17, 2014)

Tobin said:


> How can this possibly be enjoyable? You think you're doing the guy any sort of favor by giving him a BJ with him knowing that he better give you that double shoulder tap at just the right time, and if there's even the slightest hint of precum or he lets go a first squirt in your mouth then he's finished with BJs for all eternity?
> 
> You're not.
> 
> If I was stuck in his shoes I'd make sure I gave you a good pasting everywhere else I could possibly reach, while making sure I got cum in every other available orifice.


Oh sh*t I lost it when I read this.......lololololol

But seriously don't be an idiot. 

Would you take it in every orifice?


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

LovelyLucy said:


> ... For me, I really don't like receiving oral. We tried it a couple times, *I had a hard time wanting to kiss him afterwards* and would rather passionately kiss when having intercourse.


OMG, this kind of reminds me of a girlfriend in college. She sat me down one day and explained to me in literally these words, "look, my vagina and I have an agreement. I do not bother her and she does not bother me. Other than that we pretty much do not have anything to do with one another!" Occasionally I would give her oral, but heaven forbid I try and kiss her afterwards. It was as if my lips were suddenly akin to the drain in the shower or something and I had to go brush my teeth right quick if I wanted to kiss her again. 

My wife has no problems with this, but she usually does wipe my face dry with the sheets or something before I can kiss her. She just has an aversion to my face feeling wet or moist. She has the same reaction if I try to kiss her right out of the shower, as in I must dry my face first or she hates it. 

I guess everyone has there little issues. 

Badsanta


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

How many of you women posting in here have borrowed your GF's or a female family member's lipstick?

LOL! 


You all have put a lot worse things in your mouths than your husband's semen. But to each her own. I don't mind a woman who refuses to take my cum once in a while, but if I ever had a gal refuse me sex for a month just because I popped accidentally? Really? 

Hit the road babe.....

Bye bye. 

Adios. 

Asta la vista. 

Bon voyage....

May the road rise to meet you...

Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out....


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

LL, can you think of it in another way? I'll bet it's as unsetting to him as it is to you. But showing he is upset may go against his idea of what men do. He can't fix it, he may want to, but he can't. Try to put yourself in his shoes. He made you vomit and very upset doing something that he knows that you don't like. You were both vulnerable and trusting. If he lost it inadvertently, he would feel embarrassed and upset that he upset you. 

One way of handling it is to minimize the occurrence so he does not feel bad or to pretend it didn't happen to lessen his anxiety. Is he a considerate, empathetic man who acts loving most of the time? If he has not shown tendencies of being self-centered and careless then why should he start now? 

Give him the benefit of a benign interpretation.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Or you could D him for violating your hard boundary. That's what some here think should happen to you if you refuse to give your husband a bj. What's good for him is good for you too. Tell him he will never get a bj from you again so he can 

Hit the road babe.....

Bye bye. 

Adios. 

Asta la vista. 

Bon voyage....

May the road rise to meet you...

Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out....

You'll find a man who enjoys bj and wants you to enjoy them too.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
It could have been an accident - accidents of various sorts are unavoidable if you have sex a lot - you just have to laugh it off.

It could have been intentional - not thinking clearly due to being very aroused and it was something he REALLY wanted. Clearly bad on his part.

Is finishing in your mouth something he really wants? Some men couldn't care less. For some it is all important. For some swallowing is all important. (for me a BJ that isn't done to completion isn't worth the effort). There is "reason", these desires are not rational the are just what people want.


If it was an accident, then you are doing the right thing by letting it go. It will every once in a while happen again -that's just the reality.

If you think it was intentional, then you have to ask yourself just how important this was to him. If it is, is this something you really can't do? Vomiting seems really surprising - there is pre-cum etc long before he finishes, so I'm surprised at such a reaction - but it may be nothing you can help.

If he really wants CIM, would doing it with a condom work? Or would that ruin it?

You have ever right to your sexual boundaries, but sometimes its worth thinking about those boundaries. 

Does he do absolutely everything you ask for in bed?


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

What a disappointment.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Catherine602 said:


> Or you could D him for violating your hard boundary. That's what some here think should happen to you if you refuse to give your husband a bj. What's good for him is good for you too. Tell him he will never get a bj from you again so he can
> 
> Hit the road babe.....
> 
> ...


And he should...for both their sakes. Because it is a sure sign of sexual incompatibility. It trumps love every time. Sorry. Takes more than love to make a marriage work.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Tobin said:


> How can this possibly be enjoyable? You think you're doing the guy any sort of favor by giving him a BJ with him knowing that he better give you that double shoulder tap at just the right time, and if there's even the slightest hint of precum or he lets go a first squirt in your mouth then he's finished with BJs for all eternity?
> 
> You're not.
> 
> If I was stuck in his shoes I'd make sure I gave you a good pasting everywhere else I could possibly reach, while making sure I got cum in every other available orifice.


Tobin, your sexual proclivities may not be the same as other men, so give it a rest, you are humorous but a bit juvenile tbh.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

@lovelylucy, great follow up post. Sounds like you communicated your disappointment with the situation and he acknowledged your hard limits. That's a win in my book.

I do have a question......was he apologetic during your conversation?


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

bandit.45 said:


> How many of you women posting in here have borrowed your GF's or a female family member's lipstick?
> 
> LOL!
> 
> ...


It's not a matter of thinking it's dirty or bad for me. Like I said before, I'd react the same way if someone squirted a big amount of Robitussin in my mouth! I just find the taste and texture really gross, not dirty. I just read a response about swallowing, and I literally gagged when I read it and I'm just sitting here drinking my coffee. I'm not sure why some men can't understand that it's not a tasty substance to have to have squirted in your mouth and some picky eaters can't handle it.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

@LovelyLucy,

Excellent follow up post! Thank you for posting that. It's so nice when members who post a problem also post the conclusion. And what a loving conclusion you two compromised on.

It's a shame you don't enjoy it when your H goes down on you. There is just something so perfect about a tongue on your lady parts, not too rough, not too soft, just perfect! I hope you enjoy many years of great sex with your husband!
@peacem, good post! I think your experience with learning to blow is typical of most women's experience. Although there are women who really love giving a BJ, I think most of us do it because we want to please our man and we know he loves it. 

I think giving a BJ is so erotic! So much so that I get very aroused doing it. Once I'm aroused, I have a specific need for that erection to go to PIV, so I don't often want him to come during the BJ. I admit I'm selfish about my husband's erections.


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## Okguy (Aug 25, 2015)

Pretty extreme huh Tobin?


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Anon Pink said:


> It is an acquired taste, like wine and scotch. I like wine, never could learn to like scotch and boy I tried!


Anon, you did make me chuckle with 'It is an acquired taste...' Comparing sexy fluids with wine and scotch, I'll edge my bets that your husband feels intoxicated by you. Also have you tried scotch and dry? 


LovelyLucy... I'm curious what your husband said in your make-up conversation?


----------



## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

@heartsbeating,

I tried scotch neat, and with ice and with ice and water. I even tried with the really expensive scotch...just couldn't get a sip down without a grimace. 

I was in my twenties and wanted to be sophisticated. I decided 43 on ice looks enough like scotch to pretend sophistication.


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## Quigster (Aug 1, 2015)

bandit.45 said:


> You all have put a lot worse things in your mouths than your husband's semen.


I wonder how many women who steadfastly refuse to allow it in their mouths are moms who insist that their kids eat their lima beans and brussels sprouts?


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

@Anon Pink I've tried port. I understand that's a sophisticated drink for at the end of evening, after a meal. My friends have encouraged me to sip theirs, I just shudder. I'm yet to become sophisticated. I used to hate coffee ..! and now I'm hooked. This is not meant as a euphemism.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Quigster said:


> I wonder how many women who steadfastly refuse to allow it in their mouths are moms who insist that their kids eat their lima beans and brussels sprouts?


Touché! However semen is not something you can cook differently with different seasonings to make it more appealing. And before anyone suggests it, semen and chocolate do NOT mix well!
@heartsbeating, I am able to enjoy a sip or two of port, but no more than a sip or two. I much prefer chocolate mousse in a port glass.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Quigster said:


> I wonder how many women who steadfastly refuse to allow it in their mouths are moms who insist that their kids eat their lima beans and brussels sprouts?


Nope. When I was little my aunt forced my sis and me to eat baked beans. My sister HATED baked beans but my aunt forced her to eat them. She did and she threw up. People, including children, actually DO have taste aversions. I do not force my children to eat things they truly hate.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*If he ever does this to you again, just simply take his "byproduct" in your mouth and give it right back to him with a big ol' sloppy kiss!

Give him a "taste" of his own medicine!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> @heartsbeating,
> 
> I tried scotch neat, and with ice and with ice and water. I even tried with the really expensive scotch...just couldn't get a sip down without a grimace..


 @Anon Pink, you went about this all wrong! You simply HAVE to drink scotch with SODA!! (not neat, not ice, not water!)

:rofl:

(P.S. I have a dear friend who owns two Siamese cats -- one named Scotch, the other named Soda!)


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

Apart from my horrendous allergy to barley, I never had a problem with Scotch. I could never understand how people who enjoy bourbon or whiskey couldn't stomach the smoother grain.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

For those gals who refuse to swallow.... I don't get it.

Not judging at all, just perplexed.

I find it to be a wonderful "protein boost"... 

Gets me going every time...!


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

happy as a clam said:


> For those gals who refuse to swallow.... I don't get it.
> 
> Not judging at all, just perplexed.
> 
> ...


And I'm equally perplexed (and a bit jealous) at those who do and it's not a big deal because I seriously gagged more than once just reading your post! :grin2:


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

I wonder at all these guys who insist on it or say it's no big deal. Would they be willing to snowball?

Didn't think so. 


I did it once to be able to conclusively say it is disgusting.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> I wonder at all these guys who insist on it or say it's no big deal. Would they be willing to snowball?
> 
> Didn't think so.
> 
> ...


I don't know what "snowball" means, but I agree with you about men saying it's no big deal. Their opinion on this matter means nothing to me. Females opinions do, however.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

SecondTime'Round said:


> I don't know what "snowball" means, but I agree with you about men saying it's no big deal. Their opinion on this matter means nothing to me. Females opinions do, however.


Snowball is when a woman takes a load in her mouth and then passes it to the man via french kiss. 

Yes, there is a lot of shaming here for women who have limits about what they are willing to do sexually. That is disgraceful, IMO.


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> I think giving a BJ is so erotic! So much so that I get very aroused doing it. Once I'm aroused, I have a specific need for that erection to go to PIV, so I don't often want him to come during the BJ. I admit I'm selfish about my husband's erections.


My wife is *exactly* the same way...And I'm totally OK with that because it takes me an awfully long time to get to the point of ejaculation via a BJ. So when she stops and says to me "I need you to fvck me with that thing *NOW*!" I'm always happy to oblige.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

In a war there are always friendly fire casualties. And hell, sometimes maintenance isn't up to snuff and the weapon misfires or explodes.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
you might be surprised at how many would. Heck there are probably a fair number of guys who would give a BJ to another man if they got one from their wives:surprise:

This is a really strong fetish for some men. (and not at all important for others).





LadyOfTheLake said:


> I wonder at all these guys who insist on it or say it's no big deal. Would they be willing to snowball?
> 
> Didn't think so.
> 
> ...


----------



## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
sometimes the "think you can't have" takes on an unreasonable importance your mind.

Many years ago I got interested in anal sex with my wife. She didn't want to do it - and I didn't pressure her at all, I really didn't want to do something that might hurt her. Still it was something I *wanted*. Then one time she decided to try it. To both of our surprises she really enjoyed it - it became something she wanted very frequently. Once we started doing it regularly it lost its magic for me. It was still enjoyable, but nothing special. We gradually got out of the habit and that's fine.

I feel the same about BJs and CIM. It is now the think she won't do (except 1/year), and as such has taken on an irrational importance in my mind. It has become a symbol of how I will do anything for her, but she will not do the same for me. This is especially strong because she doesn't seem to mind doing it, she just wont.

I wonder if many people are similar - being denied things makes those things seem ever more desirable.


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## Okguy (Aug 25, 2015)

I will never look at a snowball the same. 

I really have never desired anal. Neither has my wife.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Snowball is when a woman takes a load in her mouth and then passes it to the man via french kiss.
> 
> Yes, there is a lot of shaming here for women who have limits about what they are willing to do sexually. That is disgraceful, IMO.


I think the shaming is entirely unnecessary also.
A woman should NOT be pressured to do stuff she finds disgusting.

however i think there was a bit of hysterical reaction on the other side of this discussion also regarding the OP husband. we don't know for certain if he did it on purpose or not. 

it's not easy to control your exact moment when in the throes of passion. stuff happens.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

SecondTime'Round said:


> I don't know what "snowball" means, but I agree with you about men saying it's no big deal. Their opinion on this matter means nothing to me. Females opinions do, however.



Exactly how I feel about women having an opinion on having to wear a condom being no big deal.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

gouge_away said:


> Apart from my horrendous allergy to barley, I never had a problem with Scotch. I could never understand how people who enjoy bourbon or whiskey couldn't stomach the smoother grain.


Back when I drank, single malt neat or a good aged bourbon on ice was my drink of choice. The aging is the key, as well as the type of grain used. I could never stomach rye whiskey or Irish whiskey.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> I wonder at all these guys who insist on it or say it's no big deal. Would they be willing to snowball?
> 
> Didn't think so.
> 
> ...



There are many forums "elsewhere" on the internet where the topic of men tasting their own semen is often discussed. It is a very humorous topic because it carries with it a unique set of circumstances:

#1 If a man is extremely aroused, the concept of tasting his own semen will likely seem very appealing and even sexually arousing to consider. 

#2 If a man has just orgasmed and instantaneously quenched his desire, the idea of tasting your own semen is then suddenly very repulsive. 

So, for a guy to taste his own semen a scenario can go like this, "OK baby, I really want you to do it! (orgasm - instant fading desire) ...aaaahhHHHH! YUCK!"

So in these other forums, the topic of how to extract one's semen without yet inducing an orgasm becomes the focus. Some men figure it out and give it a try, but others are like, "I really want to, No I don't, I really want to, No way, OK I will try, no freaking way!" 

So back @LadyOfTheLake you need to learn the technique of a exquisitely "ruined" oral orgasm if you ever want to try this again with your man, THEN it may be a very different experience. If you don't know what "ruined" means you'll have to research that as it is probably not an appropriate topic for this forum. 

Just wanted to clarify the unique circumstances that involve this question! :grin2:

Cheers, 
Badsanta


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

badsanta said:


> There are many forums "elsewhere" on the internet where the topic of men tasting their own semen is often discussed. It is a very humorous topic because it carries with it a unique set of circumstances:
> 
> #1 If a man is extremely aroused, the concept of tasting his own semen will likely seem very appealing and even sexually arousing to consider.
> 
> ...


To many women, this question on the surface seems loaded for them to be able to say "Ah hah...see?", to point out some perceived air tight double standard, but in practical terms, as things play out in real life, a lot of men simply wouldn't be bothered by it, myself included.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Just a quick additional note...whenever this topic comes up and people go to their respective corners, the topic of going down on a woman is brought up, but not really explored in the same terms. It is used as a point of comparison with regards to reciprocation, but the actual physical nuts and bolts are usually not talked about. 

The same woman can vary in texture from almost water like to very thick and mucousy, the taste can vary depending on what she has recently eaten, the odor can vary as well, even if she is externally clean, and all of that can depend on where she is at in her cycle, stress, diet, any number of things.

As far as the direct comparison goes, when the guy goes in the mouth, yes, there is a certain volume, but it is done and over with pretty quickly, and when done in the mouth it dramatically lowers or removes the smell factor in conjunction with the taste factor, where as going down on a woman, the taste, smell, and texture are present the entire time, which is considerably longer than semen.


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

samyeagar said:


> The same woman can vary in texture from almost water like to very thick and mucousy, the taste can vary depending on what she has recently eaten, the odor can vary as well, even if she is externally clean, and all of that can depend on where she is at in her cycle, stress, diet, any number of things.
> 
> As far as the direct comparison goes, when the guy goes in the mouth, yes, there is a certain volume, but it is done and over with pretty quickly, and when done in the mouth it dramatically lowers or removes the smell factor in conjunction with the taste factor, where as going down on a woman, the taste, smell, and texture are present the entire time, which is considerably longer than semen.


Okay, but the million dollar question is does it make you puke? And if so, do you still have to do it anyway? 

Or if handing out advice to a random guy on the internet, do you still say "too bad, she likes it, it's your duty to oblige no matter what" ??


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## Okguy (Aug 25, 2015)

Going down on my wife is one of my all time favorite things to do. She cums like crazy every single time. Love it love it love it.


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## Tobin (Jun 24, 2015)

Okguy said:


> Going down on my wife is one of my all time favorite things to do. She cums like crazy every single time. Love it love it love it.


Thanks for sharing again.

You seem to have a prediliction for sharing your experiences with your wife, that don't offer support or advice to the Op.

Maybe you should start your own thread, maybe make it a journal so you can talk about all the wonderful things you do to your wife and she does to you that other people can't or won't. 

I'm thinking that putting it on here isn't really helping the Op. In fact it seems like you're sort of putting it in her face by saying "Look what my wife and I do that you don't".


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

always_alone said:


> Okay, but the million dollar question is does it make you puke? And if so, do you still have to do it anyway?
> 
> Or if handing out advice to a random guy on the internet, do you still say "too bad, she likes it, it's your duty to oblige no matter what" ??


During my life I've been with women who it made sick and I've been with women who craved it. I personally prefer the latter but that's just me. I've heard of men who the scent of a woman made them sick and I don't think their wives were big fans of that either.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

My H is crazy about giving oral but I've been with guys who think it is dirty and won't do it. To each their own. You can't/shouldn't try to force someone to change for you. That is very wrong IMO.


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## Okguy (Aug 25, 2015)

Tobin someone commented on going down on women so I commented on that. Hope that makes you happy


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

always_alone said:


> Okay, but the million dollar question is does it make you puke? And if so, do you still have to do it anyway?
> 
> Or if handing out advice to a random guy on the internet, do you still say "too bad, she likes it, it's your duty to oblige no matter what" ??


Yeah, that would be my advice to a random guy on the internet.


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## Okguy (Aug 25, 2015)

Puking is not conducive to sexual fulfillment?


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## Tobin (Jun 24, 2015)

Okguy said:


> Tobin someone commented on going down on women so I commented on that. Hope that makes you happy


If someone posted they were in a car accident, would you post about your unblemished driving record?


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> My H is crazy about giving oral but I've been with guys who think it is dirty and won't do it. To each their own. You can't/shouldn't try to force someone to change for you. That is very wrong IMO.


I completely agree with this sentiment. Along with that, the person who doesn't wanted shouldn't expect the person who does to be ok with it, since that would also be forcing someone to change for you.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Tobin said:


> If someone posted they were in a car accident, would you post about your unblemished driving record?


Did this car accident involve a bj? Talk about bj mishap!


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## Okguy (Aug 25, 2015)

I would consider it Tobin. Only if it involved oral sex though


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## Tobin (Jun 24, 2015)

Personal said:


> Don't worry Tobin, he's always thread jacking. Sadly it seems he is compelled to do so, that said with each additional post, I can't say I'm surprised he enjoys a virtually sexless marriage.


This supports my hypothesis that threadjackers have sexless marriages. I always suspected, but now I know for sure.


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## Okguy (Aug 25, 2015)

Personal and Tobin you should get a room together but don't swallow.


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## Okguy (Aug 25, 2015)

I am happy for the op. None of my comments were in any way meant to throw anything in her face.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

richardsharpe said:


> Is finishing in your mouth something he really wants? Some men couldn't care less. For some it is all important. For some swallowing is all important. (*for me a BJ that isn't done to completion isn't worth the effort*). There is "reason", these desires are not rational the are just what people want.





richardsharpe said:


> *I feel the same about BJs and CIM. It is now the think she won't do (except 1/year)*, and as such has taken on an irrational importance in my mind. It has become a symbol of how I will do anything for her, but she will not do the same for me. This is especially strong because s*he doesn't seem to mind doing it, she just wont.*


Richard, do you think your wife has picked up on your feelings regarding BJs to completion? I ask because you later mentioned that she rarely gives you bjs now even though you 'think' she doesn't mind doing it. 

Is it possible that she's really not into CIM but won't tell you because she knows how you feel about it? Personally, I wouldn't even attempt oral sex if my efforts weren't going to be appreciated. In my case, with my aversion to ejaculate, an 'all or nothing' attitude would pretty much mean nothing. Maybe this is worth a discussion with your wife.


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## Okguy (Aug 25, 2015)

For me a bj is great whether or not it's to completion. And it is always appreciated.


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## Tobin (Jun 24, 2015)

Okguy said:


> For me a bj is great whether or not it's to completion. And it is always appreciated.


Since you're trying to make this thread about you and your great satisfying sex life, let's go there while staying on topic.

Would a BJ be great if you knew you had to signal your partner when you were about to orgasm by tapping her on both shoulders, knowing that one slip up would cost you blow jobs for all eternity?

Just wondering because I know I'd probably be petrified, might not even be able to get hard, let alone orgasm, let alone relax and enjoy it knowing the eternal consequences of a screw up.

Other guys can answer this question too.


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## Okguy (Aug 25, 2015)

Bug off Tobin. There is no reasoning with you. Your sarcasm is boring.


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## Tobin (Jun 24, 2015)

I'm surprised Okguy doesn't post about how well he seemingly effectively dispatches annoying internet posters.


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## Okguy (Aug 25, 2015)

Off topic Tobin.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Tobin said:


> Since you're trying to make this thread about you and your great satisfying sex life, let's go there while staying on topic.
> 
> Would a BJ be great if you knew you had to signal your partner when you were about to orgasm by tapping her on both shoulders, knowing that one slip up would cost you blow jobs for all eternity?
> 
> ...


I'm going to flip this scenario a bit. Imagine the high level of trust that is necessary to allow a partner to perform a sexual act on you, knowing full well that if they fail to abide by your agreed upon boundaries, you'll be puking up your last meal/drink?

Folks, this thread was not about bj preferences. It's about respecting a partner's agreed upon sexual boundaries. It's about that partner to doing whatever it takes so that trust isn't broken. Mistakes do happen, but a "meh, don't know what the big fuss is about" isn't going to cut it. 

Getting back to the OP....she did a great job in addressing this problem with her husband. Hopefully, she'll come back and answer some of the questions posed to her since her last update.


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## Okguy (Aug 25, 2015)

Well said Lila.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Lila said:


> It's about respecting a partner's agreed upon sexual boundaries.


I'm not sure I'd use the phrase 'agreed upon'. Any agreement was pretty one sided. It's not like the husband had much choice. It was basically a take it or leave it situation. That's what you think of as agreed upon? Even her follow up conversation was not really any kind of compromise. He has no say in it, it's her way or no way.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

WorkingOnMe said:


> I'm not sure I'd use the phrase 'agreed upon'. Any agreement was pretty one sided. It's not like the husband had much choice. It was basically a take it or leave it situation. That's what you think of as agreed upon? Even her follow up conversation was not really any kind of compromise. He has no say in it, it's her way or no way.


I don't have access to multi quote on this device but she made it clear that she would only give him bjs if he promised not to ejaculate in her mouth. When he followed her request the first time and thereafter, he was showing agreement. The precedent was set. 

There is always a choice. It may not be ideal, but he's not a victim. He could have just as easily said "no thanks...not worth it". Or if this was a big enough issue for him, he could have elected to divorce her (i don't think this is the case since she didn't give him a bj until 5 years into their marriage). 

This is a boundary just like any other boundary. One person expresses it and it's up to the other person to take it or leave it.


Eta: Boundaries go both ways. If this is not something that he wants any part of, then he should speak up. Make his boundary known so that OP can make the choice to take it or leave it. But whatever the final agreement, respect it.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Lila said:


> I don't have access to multi quote on this device but she made it clear that she would only give him bjs if he promised not to ejaculate in her mouth. When he followed her request the first time and thereafter, he was showing agreement. The precedent was set.
> 
> There is always a choice. It may not be ideal, but he's not a victim. He could have just as easily said "no thanks...not worth it". Or if this was a big enough issue for him, he could have elected to divorce her (i don't think this is the case since she didn't give him a bj until 5 years into their marriage).
> 
> This is a boundary just like any other boundary. One person expresses it and it's up to the other person to take it or leave it.


Right. And all I'm saying is that there's a difference between an actual agreement and a boundary. One is mutual and the other is one sided. I totally get that she has a boundary. If calling it an agreement makes her feel better about dictating their sex life then I suppose she can do that.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Right. And all I'm saying is that there's a difference between an actual agreement and a boundary. One is mutual and the other is one sided. I totally get that she has a boundary. If calling it an agreement makes her feel better about dictating their sex life then I suppose she can do that.


I think you have a very unusual view of boundaries. I've never heard it expressed as dictating. They are supposed to be open and honest. They are supposed to be empowering to the other person making the decision to abide by them or move on. No one is being forced to do anything. On the contrary, the person is allowing the other person make the decision.

Sexual boundaries are no different than OSF boundaries, or infidelity boundaries, or physical appearance boundaries, or ....you get the picture. Within a relationship, both partners agree to these all the time.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

So if I tell my wife who she can be friends with and she doesn't leave me, we have a mutual agreement? I just think that's a perverse definition of "mutual". Think about it.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
Its possible. Unfortunately my wife is unable to talk about sex at all - I really don't know why. I've tried my best to listen and learn, but she just wont.

I did suggest several months ago that she try doing BJs with no CIM. She did it twice (in one month), then not again since (6 months). It is the usual pattern of when I ask things very briefly get better, then stop.

On my birthday when she does do CIM (if I ask), she gives no indication that it bothers her much. She lets me finish, then goes off to the bathroom to rinse her mouth, but no sign of distress. Afterwards she always wants me to do something sexual for her (which I always am happy to do) so that suggests that it doesn't even ruin the mood for her. This is clearly a different reaction from the OP who actually vomited!.

So for me the situation is that I enjoy a BJ but its not that special without CIM. My wife seems to dislike it in any case, so there is no point making her do something she dislikes if it isn't really special for me. 

FWIW, she has never asked me to do, or hinted that she wanted anything sexual that I wasn't happy to do, so its a very asymmetric situation.

The OP sounds physically repulsed by it, but will still BJs if there is no CIM. My wife seems to not like it much, but with no physical reaction. I think the situations are very different.

My overall view of sex is that each person should do their very best to please the other. 








Lila said:


> Richard, do you think your wife has picked up on your feelings regarding BJs to completion? I ask because you later mentioned that she rarely gives you bjs now even though you 'think' she doesn't mind doing it.
> 
> Is it possible that she's really not into CIM but won't tell you because she knows how you feel about it? Personally, I wouldn't even attempt oral sex if my efforts weren't going to be appreciated. In my case, with my aversion to ejaculate, an 'all or nothing' attitude would pretty much mean nothing. Maybe this is worth a discussion with your wife.


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## Laila8 (Apr 24, 2013)

Good lord. I think vomiting is a little extreme. If I were the husband, I'd be so turned off by your attitude to the whole thing, I wouldn't even want a BJ.


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## Eastcoasting (Apr 21, 2015)

Anon Pink said:


> I think giving a BJ is so erotic! So much so that I get very aroused doing it. Once I'm aroused, I have a specific need for that erection to go to PIV, so I don't often want him to come during the BJ. I admit I'm selfish about my husband's erections.


I laughed when I read this because my wife has the SAME thought process when it comes to deciding whether a BJ should lead to PIV. She is pretty good about mixing it up.

I asked her once how she determines whether she finishes CIM or PIV. She explained that she decides by the "quality" of my erection. In other words, if I haven't had a release in 3 or more days she said my erections are much more harder and fuller which deserve PIV. I don't complain


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

Eastcoasting said:


> …..if I haven't had a release in 3 or more days…..


She makes you wait that long?!?!?!?!

DIVORCE her!!!!!

(I kid)


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## Eastcoasting (Apr 21, 2015)

OnTheFly said:


> She makes you wait that long?!?!?!?!
> 
> DIVORCE her!!!!!
> 
> (I kid)


Oh hell no! She never makes me wait.


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

Sorry if this is too, um, gross... But curious, if any other guys have had a woman ejaculate into his' mouth?


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## Quigster (Aug 1, 2015)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> You can't/shouldn't try to force someone to change for you. That is very wrong IMO.


Force? Defintiely not. Gently encourage? Nothing wrong with that. 

Relationships are all about compromise and cooperation. I'm willing to try new things with my wife that I wouldn't normally seek out (not just in the bedroom, but everyday activities like going to social events, trying new foods, etc.) and I like it when she's willing to do the same.


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

gouge_away said:


> Sorry if this is too, um, gross... But curious, if any other guys have had a woman ejaculate into his' mouth?


No, but I'm not opposed to the idea.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

@Lila is on one side of the BJ spectrum, very far in one single respect. Absolutely no ejaculate in her mouth ever, because she will puke immediately. This is out of her control. She has worked with her husband to include BJ's while not risking a vomiting event.

Also on that spectrum are women who, for a host of reasons. Have an aversion to oral sex in general. They think it's demeaning. They think it's disgusting. They are squeamish about putting a penis in their mouth. I think these women, and sometimes men, DO have control over their aversion. I think their aversion is a learned or conditioned response similar to sexual shame. And sexual shame, IMHO, must be overcome at all costs! 

I don't think Lila, and other women like her, have control over their vomit reflex. It is what it is. But I think the other women, those who feel oral sex is disgusting, those women could benefit from learning to let go and enjoy it.

IOW, I wish you all would stop trying to make Lila the lightening rod for your lack of blow jobs. Lila will puke if she gets semen in her mouth, and I will puke if I get sauerkraut in my mouth... And if my husband eats it, or Brussels sprouts, there will be no BJ's for a week until that sh!t is out of his system!


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

OnTheFly said:


> No, but I'm not opposed to the idea.


That was going to be my next question, I don't think many guys would be opposed. Many guys would actually look forward to it.


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## Quigster (Aug 1, 2015)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Yes, there is a lot of shaming here for women who have limits about what they are willing to do sexually. That is disgraceful, IMO.


I'd like to go on record in saying that women should be allowed to freely decide what they are and are not willing to do with their own bodies.

With that said, I also feel as though making an effort to please your partner intimately is one of the best ways to demonstrate your love and affection. To me, at least, an uncompromising, steadfast unwillingness to expand your horizons sexually is not the sign of an affectionate and loving partner. 

I will graciously concede the argument to anyone who chooses to disagree with me.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> I wonder at all these guys who insist on it or say it's no big deal. Would they be willing to snowball?


What's the big deal? I don't mind a creampie either.



LadyOfTheLake said:


> Didn't think so.


You presumed too soon.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

gouge_away said:


> Sorry if this is too, um, gross... But curious, if any other guys have had a woman ejaculate into his' mouth?


I've had partners flood when they orgasm. It's not really a squirt or anything. Not like a guy. It never bothers me. You just have to keep a towel handy. Change the sheets afterwards. :smile2:

Some people are just squeamish. Show me a female porn star and I will show you someone who would make a good surgical nurse, or cadaver lab tech, or a huntress who has no problem gutting an elk....


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> Some people are just squeamish. Show me a female porn star and I will show you someone who would make a good surgical nurse, or cadaver lab tech, or a huntress who has no problem gutting an elk....


I'm not squeamish in the least. I can dissect animals with absolute fascination. I have pics of myself spattered in fish blood, and heck, I grew up on a dairy farm. I've been knew deep in placenta and cow **** more times than I can count. 

Blood and guts don't make me flinch. But I won't put them in my mouth. Same with sexual fluids. There is a hard line there. No amount of love and affection will change the fact that it is gross, the texture, the taste, the smell...all of it. It's a no go.

ETA: Some people eat the fresh liver from a deer. Others will eat raw fish. I can't. Too gross. I caught several tuna on a charter once and the deck hands chopped one up and served it raw, soaked in orange juice. The chopping up and the blood running everywhere didn't bother me at all. Putting that purple hunk of raw flesh in my mouth? Not happening. 
Refusal of CIM isn't about fear or squeamishness. People have limits. Respect that.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> I'm not squeamish in the least. I can dissect animals with absolute fascination. I have pics of myself spattered in fish blood, and heck, I grew up on a dairy farm. I've been knew deep in placenta and cow **** more times than I can count.
> 
> Blood and guts don't make me flinch. But I won't put them in my mouth. Same with sexual fluids. There is a hard line there. No amount of love and affection *will change the fact that it is gross, the texture, the taste, the smell*...all of it. It's a no go.


This is one of those things that is very subtle, yet speaks volumes. Social conditioning at it's finest.

Yes, I have no doubts that there are some women with a physical aversion to the point of vomiting, however, I suspect that the broader issue is anxiety, and the steady drumbeat of how gross it is in every sensory way, how demeaning it is, and so on.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

And I'd be the opposite to you, LadyOfTheLake! I can be squeemish with certain things; will need to turn away from the tv screen with farm shows and such. Yet, sexy fluids, no problem.

There are no absolutes. It'd be a boring and predictable life if there were!


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## snerg (Apr 10, 2013)

gouge_away said:


> Sorry if this is too, um, gross... But curious, if any other guys have had a woman ejaculate into his' mouth?


not a big deal.

First me for me was in a 69 - there was so much, I thought I was being water boarded. Big surprise. Big laughs. Big time notch on my belt - as in look what I made you do, I friggin rule at oral


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

samyeagar said:


> This is one of those things that is very subtle, yet speaks volumes. Social conditioning at it's finest.
> 
> Yes, I have no doubts that there are some women with a physical aversion to the point of vomiting, however, I suspect that the broader issue is anxiety, and the steady drumbeat of how gross it is in every sensory way, how demeaning it is, and so on.


I'm one of those with genuine sensory issues. Clean a deer or a rabbit or a fish? I'm your girl. But I will (and have) vomited on a partner when he finished in my mouth. I was willing, happily so, to try swallowing. We experimented with varying techniques, timing, positions, locations, even with me at varying levels of intoxication. I still gagged to the point of vomiting every single time. Dozens of times over the course of several years. 

The reason I don't think it's social conditioning, is that the same exact thing happens with certain foods if they're prepared in ways that render them at all slimy. I have to be very careful with oatmeal, cream of wheat, boiled/stewed okra, rice or tapioca puddings, drinks or foods made with chia seeds, eggs, bread pudding, avocado, mushrooms, etc. And it is not the taste, but rather the texture that gets me. As long as they aren't slimy, I love most of those things. If I try to eat a Krystal (White Castle) burger and the steamed bun is a little slick on the edge, I'm all done. If a sandwich has too much mayo, I'm done. If I bite into a piece of fat in a barbecue sandwich, I'm done. Combine that sensory issue with a very strong gag reflex, and CIM really is something to avoid unless the fellow's a very, very, good sport. 

In our case, I was willing to keep trying if he was. He wasn't, so we settled on other things to do that we both enjoyed that didn't result in anyone or anything getting vomited on.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Rowan said:


> I'm one of those with genuine sensory issues. Clean a deer or a rabbit or a fish? I'm your girl. But I will (and have) vomited on a partner when he finished in my mouth. I was willing, happily so, to try swallowing. We experimented with varying techniques, timing, positions, locations, even with me at varying levels of intoxication. I still gagged to the point of vomiting every single time. Dozens of times over the course of several years.
> 
> The reason I don't think it's social conditioning, is that the same exact thing happens with certain foods if they're prepared in ways that render them at all slimy. I have to be very careful with oatmeal, cream of wheat, boiled/stewed okra, rice or tapioca puddings, drinks or foods made with chia seeds, eggs, bread pudding, avocado, mushrooms, etc. And it is not the taste, but rather the texture that gets me. As long as they aren't slimy, I love most of those things. If I try to eat a Krystal (White Castle) burger and the steamed bun is a little slick on the edge, I'm all done. If a sandwich has too much mayo, I'm done. If I bite into a piece of fat in a barbecue sandwich, I'm done. Combine that sensory issue with a very strong gag reflex, and CIM really is something to avoid unless the fellow's a very, very, good sport.
> 
> In our case, I was willing to keep trying if he was. He wasn't, so we settled on other things to do that we both enjoyed that didn't result in anyone or anything getting vomited on.



I think the enthusiastic trying counts for a lot. A lot!


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

snerg said:


> not a big deal.
> 
> First me for me was in a 69 - there was so much, I thought I was being water boarded. Big surprise. Big laughs. Big time notch on my belt - as in look what I made you do, I friggin rule at oral


This is my attitude also, yet I haven't had the privilege of making her squirt yet……forever trying!! (It's a hard life, I know!)


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> I'm not squeamish in the least. I can dissect animals with absolute fascination. I have pics of myself spattered in fish blood, and heck, I grew up on a dairy farm. I've been knew deep in placenta and cow **** more times than I can count.
> 
> Blood and guts don't make me flinch. But I won't put them in my mouth. Same with sexual fluids. There is a hard line there. No amount of love and affection will change the fact that it is gross, the texture, the taste, the smell...all of it. It's a no go.
> 
> ...


I'll pop deer and elk liver raw into my mouth no problem. I like that steely taste. 

I love sushi. Could eat it every day. 

Its funny, people eat sugary foods all the time, but you know that your saliva transforms sugar into an acid...one that can be powerful enough to strip paint?


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Vaginal fluids are way "dirtier" than semen... yet we guys who are into cunnilingus lap that stuff up. 

I would not dump a chick who was too sensitive to get semen in her mouth... I would not show her the door. I would understand. But she damn well better not *demand* I go down on her. If I do, it will be because I want to. She better not expect it.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> I would not dump a chick who was too sensitive to get semen in her mouth... I would not show her the door. I would understand. But she damn well better not *demand* I go down on her. If I do, it will be because I want to. She better not expect it.


I find my life is much better when I don't demand things from others and much, much, better when I don't keep people in my life who *demand* things from me.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

No one has the right to demand anything from anyone. Such people are extremely needy and will never be content. They are best avoided IMO.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> @Lila is on one side of the BJ spectrum, very far in one single respect. Absolutely no ejaculate in her mouth ever, because she will puke immediately. This is out of her control. She has worked with her husband to include BJ's while not risking a vomiting event.
> 
> Also on that spectrum are women who, for a host of reasons. Have an aversion to oral sex in general. They think it's demeaning. They think it's disgusting. They are squeamish about putting a penis in their mouth. I think these women, and sometimes men, DO have control over their aversion. I think their aversion is a learned or conditioned response similar to sexual shame. And sexual shame, IMHO, must be overcome at all costs!
> 
> ...


I'd divorce any woman who didn't like sauerkraut.


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## D1C (Aug 29, 2015)

Tobin said:


> I can't believe a woman would make such a big deal about some cum in her mouth.. to the point that she gags and vomits.
> 
> That's beyond ridiculous and it makes me appreciate the women I've been with that much more.
> 
> ...


If their husbands go down on them and they orgasm in His face, they are hypocrites... Plain and simple


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## Okguy (Aug 25, 2015)

Cunnilingus rocks. That is all.


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

Fozzy said:


> I'd divorce any woman who didn't like sauerkraut.


As a son of Teuton, I heartily agree! My wife, luckily for her, likes sauerkraut, particularly my homemade stuff.


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## D1C (Aug 29, 2015)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> I wonder at all these guys who insist on it or say it's no big deal. Would they be willing to snowball?
> 
> Didn't think so.
> 
> ...


Wouldn't bother me. I swallow her stuff all the time


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> No one has the right to demand anything from anyone. Such people are extremely needy and will never be content. They are best avoided IMO.


Well....

I demand honesty, loyalty and fidelity. Those three items are non-negotiable.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

peacem said:


> Its a bit OT but its not something you can do to her. It is something only a woman can do with her body with practice. Its not a passive act (where a partner pushes the right buttons). Its about being intensely mentally aroused alongside good stimulation - when orgasm is reached you let your body go along with your contractions - literally just let go. Its not something someone can do to you. It is best practiced alone at first then as part of partner sex if she wishes. It's not the holy grail of orgasms people think it is - but still very erotic.



It's pee. You let go and pee yourself. They've studied the stuff...it's pee. And there isn't any other organ in the reproductive tract capable of holding that volume of fluid. 

So all you guys patting yourselves on the back and notching the bed posts for making a woman squirt in your mouth...you were initiated into water sports. Well done.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> Well....
> 
> I demand honesty, loyalty and fidelity. Those three items are non-negotiable.


That puts you in the unfortunate position of allowing another to have control over your state of mind. You want to govern the actions/feelings of another so you can be content in your own life. That is a recipe for failure.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> It's pee. You let go and pee yourself. They've studied the stuff...it's pee. And there isn't any other organ in the reproductive tract capable of holding that volume of fluid.
> 
> So all you guys patting yourselves on the back and notching the bed posts for making a woman squirt in your mouth...you were initiated into water sports. Well done.


Well... among the bovines, a bull will taste a cow's urine to tell if she is in heat.

I guess we human males can get a mouthful without any ill effects. Urine is safe. It is about the most sterile liquid the body excretes.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Fozzy said:


> I'd divorce any woman who didn't like sauerkraut.


I'd dump any woman who eats sauerkraut. Or pickled herring. Gross.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

I'll agree on the pickled herring. The only way to eat herring is kippered. Pickled meats should never go in one's mouth. Hard boundary.


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> It's pee.


haha, nice try!


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> It's pee. You let go and pee yourself. They've studied the stuff...it's pee. And there isn't any other organ in the reproductive tract capable of holding that volume of fluid.
> 
> So all you guys patting yourselves on the back and notching the bed posts for making a woman squirt in your mouth...you were initiated into water sports. Well done.


Um, well, I've tasted both pee and the ejected secretion, and I call b.s.


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## Okguy (Aug 25, 2015)

Why would anyone taste pee?


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

Oh, like you don't know this...


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## LostinNE (Aug 31, 2015)

Okguy said:


> Why would anyone taste pee?


?

Why would anyone have oral sex?
Why would anyone do bdsm?
Why would anyone study physics?


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## sixbravebulls (Aug 18, 2015)

Yes, you need to learn how to swallow or at least take it in your mouth. Geez.


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## Okguy (Aug 25, 2015)

So tasting pee is equal to studying physics? I think not


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

gouge_away said:


> Um, well, I've tasted both pee and the ejected secretion, and I call b.s.


Agreed (not that I've deliberately tasted urine, but whatever the secretion is it's neither pure urine, nor the slippery vaginal secretion that wets panties when she's getting aroused).


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

Okguy said:


> So tasting pee is equal to studying physics? I think not


Studying physics is more like eating chit, but yeah.


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## LostinNE (Aug 31, 2015)

Ok okguy. 


Q-Now why would someone want to 'do something ' ?
A- because they want to


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## Okguy (Aug 25, 2015)

Ok why would someone want to taste pee?


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## LostinNE (Aug 31, 2015)

Okguy said:


> Ok why would someone want to taste pee?


I'll ask some rhetorical questions too.

Why would anyone want to taste a vagina?

Why would anyone want to taste a penis?

Why would anyone want to go on TAM?

Why would anyone want to be married?


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## NoSizeQueen (Sep 9, 2015)

People eat lutefisk. That's dried fish soaked in lye. 

Tasting pee isn't so weird, in the grand scheme of things.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

samyeagar said:


> This is one of those things that is very subtle, yet speaks volumes. Social conditioning at it's finest.
> 
> Yes, I have no doubts that there are some women with a physical aversion to the point of vomiting, however, I suspect that the broader issue is anxiety, and the steady drumbeat of how gross it is in every sensory way, how demeaning it is, and so on.


{Sigh} You are over thinking this issue. No, most women with this aversion are not suffering from mental issues like anxiety, and no, most of us do not find it demeaning. It's simply a taste/texture issue for the majority of us. 

Think about it for a second. ...if this was some sort of anxiety or we found it demeaning, why in the world would we risk being vulnerable to it from what essentially amounts to a face ****?

The simplest answer is usually the correct one. No different in this case.


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

Okguy said:


> Ok why would someone want to taste pee?


Another aspie?

Why are you deliberately threadjacking in a bad way after we threadjacked in a good way?

Talk about squirting=good

Talk about pee=bad


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

According to measurements of bladder fullness a d chemical analysis of the fluid, squirting is involuntary emission of urine.

Nature and origin of "squirting" in female sexuality. - PubMed - NCBI


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## Okguy (Aug 25, 2015)

Sorry if I think tasting pee is disgusting. I do love blow jobs and cunnilingus however.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Okguy said:


> So tasting pee is equal to studying physics? I think not


No physics is much more difficult....and gross.


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## Okguy (Aug 25, 2015)

I don't like physics either


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Holy cow Lady of the Lake is right.

Study Concludes That Women Who Squirt During Sex Are Actually Peeing | IFLScience


Though to be fair, the fluid that is squirted also has female ejaculate mixed in. Considering most women pee prior to sex, her bladder is mostly empty. But the kidneys continue to produce urine, so during sex, after the bladder was emptied, a small amount of urine has been made and sent to the bladder and it is this liquid that is involuntarily squirted out during that awesome orgasm. Freshly made urine typically has a low odor. <- this I know from having several babies pee on me over the years. Little bit of pee never hurt anyone. 

Brings new meaning to the term, "so excited I peed my pants!"


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

From my experience they usually pee after sex.
I've heard different reasons for post-peeing or "pp."
At first I was told that it was a sign that she had ejaculated if she peed afterwards.
Later on in life I was told it was to prevent infections, this seemed to be the majority consensus.


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## antechomai (Oct 4, 2013)

Hmm, There is at least one physicist on this board. 
It is the most elegant science, but I am biased.


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## LostinNE (Aug 31, 2015)

antechomai said:


> Hmm, There is at least one physicist on this board.
> It is the most elegant science, but I am biased.




A lovely woman is the only thing I know of more beautiful than :


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## antechomai (Oct 4, 2013)

About the only thing I can add to this thread is the irregular off event is confusing. 99% is not CIM, I give her a warning. But there is the 1%, that she continues. There is never any distress on her part. I'll just keep giving the 30sec warning.

I will say it is really good feeling, rather than stopping, and switching to something else.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Anon Pink said:


> Holy cow Lady of the Lake is right.
> 
> Study Concludes That Women Who Squirt During Sex Are Actually Peeing | IFLScience
> 
> ...


The article notes that women do indeed ejaculate. It is a small volume of white fluid from the urethra.
My wife does this. It does not shoot out, it dribbles. When she does this, she usually is capable of many organisms in a row. I keep going and take her to another rather than backing away like it is battery acid.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

A beautiful women wearing too much makeup is as disappointing as QM descriptions of gravity. The original is fine, and you are never going to be close enough to see the difference. 







LostinNE said:


> A lovely woman is the only thing I know of more beautiful than :


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## LostinNE (Aug 31, 2015)

richardsharpe said:


> A beautiful women wearing too much makeup is as disappointing as QM descriptions of gravity. The original is fine, and you are never going to be close enough to see the difference.


lmao. So clever . I'm gonna steal that one !


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## warshaw (Jul 31, 2015)

I was getting a bj from my girlfriend when we were in college, both very drunk, and I was laying there enjoying the sucking but feeling like I had to pee, as I got closer to orgasm I also had to pee really bad. As I let go and shot in her mouth I couldn't tell if I was peeing or cumming. She stopped, looked up at me with a mouthful of cum and as she swallowed she said "there better not have been any piss in there !". 

It happens.


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## Okguy (Aug 25, 2015)

Hope you didn't pee in her mouth buddy


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

Huh, she couldn't tell the difference between pee and cum?


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## warshaw (Jul 31, 2015)

gouge_away said:


> Huh, she couldn't tell the difference between pee and cum?


I think she got a blend of cum and piss and she figured out it wasn't the usual purity.

Her saying "there better not have been any piss in there" was her way of saying "that load tasted like piss"


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

warshaw said:


> I think she got a blend of cum and piss and she figured out it wasn't the usual purity.
> 
> Her saying "there better not have been any piss in there" was her way of saying "that load tasted like piss"


Mmm, the way you say "blend!"
Its never too early for a White Russian.


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## rich84 (Mar 30, 2015)

warshaw said:


> I think she got a blend of cum and piss and she figured out it wasn't the usual purity.
> 
> Her saying "there better not have been any piss in there" was her way of saying "that load tasted like piss"



Hilarious. Your choice of "blend" made me nearly aspirate my beverage. I got a sick mental picture of this woman with a tumbler of your finest "blend" swirling it around and admiring the more elegant palatal notes.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

SecondTime'Round said:


> It's not a matter of thinking it's dirty or bad for me. Like I said before, I'd react the same way if someone squirted a big amount of Robitussin in my mouth! I just find the taste and texture really gross, not dirty. I just read a response about swallowing, and I literally gagged when I read it and I'm just sitting here drinking my coffee. I'm not sure why some men can't understand that it's not a tasty substance to have to have squirted in your mouth and some picky eaters can't handle it.


I'm probably in the minority among guys, but I understand it perfectly. For me, it's not something that even needs a lengthy explanation; it seems rather self-explanatory to me.

If a woman is into that and enjoys doing it, I don't know too many men who are going to turn her down, but if a woman says she doesn't care for it, I understand. It's not something I've ever insisted upon and acted stunned about a woman not being excited about.


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## rich84 (Mar 30, 2015)

I think a lot of it is mental. In an aroused state, my perceptions are very different from a non-aroused state. I can tolerate more pain, for example. I would rate a ball grope as a 2-3 on a scale of 0-10 normally. But the same grope during sex? Enjoyable! Likewise, I probably wouldn't order anything that tasted like ***** at a restaurant (I would try it). But during sex I could go for seconds or thirds, lol. 

I think it is in your frame of mind how revolting or enjoyable something is. And I've always found it SO much more attractive when someone is adventurous at a restaurant versus squeamish. Same thing in bed. If you literally "can't" then OK 😏. But I think there's some negative mental conditioning at play and it's not just a purely biological rejection. 

I used to have a fairly strong response to coconut. I would gag around and spit it out if someone snuck it in the icing of a dessert. It was the texture and taste. So, I forced myself to hold it in my mouth, chew it slowly, and swallow it. I didn't get sick or die! I now enjoy all kinds of coconut containing foods. Same for Brussels sprouts, asparagus, etc. It was in my head.


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## tornado (Jan 10, 2014)

rich84 said:


> I think a lot of it is mental. In an aroused state, my perceptions are very different from a non-aroused state. I can tolerate more pain, for example. I would rate a ball grope as a 2-3 on a scale of 0-10 normally. But the same grope during sex? Enjoyable! Likewise, I probably wouldn't order anything that tasted like ***** at a restaurant (I would try it). But during sex I could go for seconds or thirds, lol.
> 
> I think it is in your frame of mind how revolting or enjoyable something is. And I've always found it SO much more attractive when someone is adventurous at a restaurant versus squeamish. Same thing in bed. If you literally "can't" then OK 😏. But I think there's some negative mental conditioning at play and it's not just a purely biological rejection.
> 
> I used to have a fairly strong response to coconut. I would gag around and spit it out if someone snuck it in the icing of a dessert. It was the texture and taste. So, I forced myself to hold it in my mouth, chew it slowly, and swallow it. I didn't get sick or die! I now enjoy all kinds of coconut containing foods. Same for Brussels sprouts, asparagus, etc. It was in my head.


I agree, I think most women build it up in their mind so much that it is actually much worse in their mind then in reality. I was with a woman once that couldn't do it, wouldn't talk about, she just knew it would make her sick. Then years later to gain some leverage ( in her mind) she did it without me even asking, just out of the blue. I thought it funny how things changed when she thought is was some benefit to her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## warshaw (Jul 31, 2015)

tornado said:


> Then years later to gain some leverage ( in her mind) she did it without me even asking,


She blew you to get leverage, let me guess, she was looking for a ring?

That was a tough one

I can take it a step further and guess at the number of times she blew you after you got married- if you fell into that trap.

Goose egg


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Very late to the party here and not even skimmed past page 1 lol

How can you not know when he is about to blow? Sorry but if it is all soooooo disgusting then either don't suck his d.ick or learn more about your husband. 

Far out I hold Mr H in a leg lock while I have multiples from oral, at that point in time I sort of try to consider if he can breath or not but hey he is big enough to tell me if he is dying mid act.

Sorry but life is too short for such drama over something that should be fun.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Since we lost the OP a few weeks ago when this thread derailed and pee'd its pants, can we at least cover personal experiences with sushi in between others discussing veterinary procedures or whatever? 

Who is afraid to swallow this? I'd be all over that!


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

badsanta said:


> Since we lost the OP a few weeks ago when this thread derailed and pee'd its pants, can we at least cover personal experiences with sushi in between others discussing veterinary procedures or whatever?
> 
> Who is afraid to swallow this? I'd be all over that!


I would sooner watch a Rosie O'Donnell sex tape before eating that!


----------



## Tulanian (Feb 23, 2013)

Personal said:


> If my wife chose to punish me sexually by withholding sex or withdrawing a sexual practice she would quickly find herself divorced. Likewise if I withheld sex in the same way with my wife I too would quickly find myself divorced.
> 
> Marital sex is something that ought to be mutually share, marital sex ought not to be a commodity that is used to reward or punish ones spouse.


Married long?


----------



## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

Holland said:


> Very late to the party here and not even skimmed past page 1 lol
> 
> How can you not know when he is about to blow? Sorry but if it is all soooooo disgusting then either don't suck his d.ick or learn more about your husband.
> 
> ...


Perfect attitude imo.

If you think your man's cum is gross disgusting toxic waste, your attitude will show it. And for most guys (imo) it will hurt his feeling if he is honest.

Likewise a guy who thinks a woman is gross down there, his attitude will show through too. And I would think if honest most women would be hurt by this.

Like Holland said it should be fun. But to each their own i guess.


----------



## Tulanian (Feb 23, 2013)

Quigster said:


> I wonder how many women who steadfastly refuse to allow it in their mouths are moms who insist that their kids eat their lima beans and brussels sprouts?


Ideally, sex isn't an "eat your lima beans" kind of situation. If it is, meaning it's work or obligation, you may have compatibility issues.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

LovelyLucy said:


> My hubby ejaculated in my mouth when I was giving him a BJ this afternoon, despite what has always been a bright line rule and I feel disgusted, angry and disrespected.
> 
> My hubby and I were enjoying the last few hours of the holiday weekend in bed. We were engaged in routine foreplay. It took a number of years but I finally got comfortable giving my husband a BJ provided he didn't ejaculate in my mouth. I don't know if it was intentional, accidental or what happened but he ejaculated in my mouth this afternoon. I immediately started gagging followed by vomiting. I feel completely disrespected, disgusted and am generally angry. He apologized (kind of) helped me clean up the mess from vomiting and then just went out and mowed the yard as if nothing happened. He has accused me of overreacting and that it isn't a big deal. I know some couples go all the way with BJs and that is fine for them. It has always been a rule and clear understanding I would give him BJs if he exercised control. He completely violated that understanding and I don't know what to do.



I don't see the problem.

You are married to a great guy and hubby.

He loves your oral sex and this one time he went in your mouth and you're all mad and disgusted? You shouldn't be at all. This is your loving hubby.

Now Mrs.CuddleBug doesn't love the taste of me going in her mouth, so we came up with a solution. I have her favorite drink on her nightstand right beside our bed, chocolate almond milk. So immediately after going in her mouth and she swallows, she drinks her fav chocolate almond milk, burps and giggles.

He can also have nothing but fruits the last 12+ hours before you give him oral sex. Lots of fruits will make him taste sweet. Lots of beer and meats will make him taste nasty.


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## warshaw (Jul 31, 2015)

CuddleBug said:


> He loves your oral sex and this one time he went in your mouth and you're all mad and disgusted? You shouldn't be at all. This is your loving hubby.


Saying she "shouldn't be disgusted" is of no help, because she IS, and it has nothing to do with logic, common sense, or love for her husband. She's got this idea drilled into her head that her husbands semen is disgusting and will make her puke, that's her personality, and women that are this uptight are never, ever going to get past it, especially not because some internet poster says it will taste good with the right diet.

For her to get over her irrational fear of semen, will take years of therapy to work on the underlying issues, and it may never be effective, especially since she's completely unaware that there's anything wrong with her rather unusual attitude.

She thinks it's perfectly normal to puke after receiving a mouthful of ejaculate and no one is going to convince her otherwise.

Truth is her husband must have known this and married her anyway, so that's on him. It's like marrying a woman knowing she's a drug addict or compulsive spender or frigid when it comes to sex. It's a prexisting condition that was made known, it was understood and accepted and that's just how it goes unfortunately.

I've got my dealbreakers and a semen puker is definitely one of them especially because it means you've got that rigid, unforgiving, extremely uptight personality to go with it, but to the husband of the op on this thread, he accepted it as part of the deal. She must redeem herself in other ways that are of greater importance to him.. or he's settling because he can't do better. Either way, that's on him.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

warshaw said:


> Saying she "shouldn't be disgusted" is of no help, because she IS, and it has nothing to do with logic, common sense, or love for her husband. She's got this idea drilled into her head that her husbands semen is disgusting and will make her puke, that's her personality, and women that are this uptight are never, ever going to get past it, especially not because some internet poster says it will taste good with the right diet.
> 
> For her to get over her irrational fear of semen, will take years of therapy to work on the underlying issues, and it may never be effective, especially since she's completely unaware that there's anything wrong with her rather unusual attitude.
> 
> ...



When Mrs.CuddleBug first gave me a BJ, I was getting close to going and I asked her, do you want me to pull out?

Mrs.CuddleBug said, no, go in my mouth and she swallows every time.

She told me later I don't taste that great at times and its not her favorite thing to do. So the chocolate almond milk fixed that and she burps and giggles.

Does the thought of me going in her mouth turn her on? I would say probably not.

But at the same time, she wants me in her, vaginally, orally, etc. and she would find it odd and wrong if I said I'm wearing condoms and pulling out of your mouth before I go.

Mrs.CuddleBug can't take me all the way in her mouth or she'd gag. So she only takes 1/3 of me in her mouth and uses her hand. No gagging.

Try the eating nothing but fruit 24 hours before she gives him oral sex. He will taste sweeter and not nasty. Mrs.CuddleBug noticed this when I had fruit salads all afternoon and night and the next day she gave me a BJ, she told me I tasted almost sweet and way better.


http://www.bustle.com/articles/3223...doesnt-make-you-gag-because-who-says-bjs-cant


Just trying to help from my experiences.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

warshaw said:


> *Saying she "shouldn't be disgusted" is of no help, *because she IS, and it has nothing to do with logic, common sense, or love for her husband. She's got this idea drilled into her head that her husbands semen is disgusting and will make her puke, that's her personality, and women that are this uptight are never, ever going to get past it, especially not because some internet poster says it will taste good with the right diet.
> 
> For her to get over her irrational fear of semen, will take years of therapy to work on the underlying issues, and it may never be effective, especially since she's completely unaware that there's anything wrong with her rather unusual attitude.
> 
> ...


Calling the OP rigid, unforgiving, and extremely uptight because she involuntarily vomits when surprised by semen in her mouth isn't helpful either. 

She isn't so rigid as to never give blowjobs, which isn't the case with a lot of the wives of the men posting here. She has a boundary - ONE boundary - no semen in her mouth because it makes her throw up. That doesn't make her worthy of name-calling.


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## warshaw (Jul 31, 2015)

norajane said:


> She has a boundary - ONE boundary - no semen in her mouth because it makes her throw up. That doesn't make her worthy of name-calling.


I called her no names, I simply described the personality characteristics of a person who pukes on semen. 

It's NOT the semen. 

Just like for the women who won't suck a penis, it's not the penis.


----------



## Lila (May 30, 2014)

rich84 said:


> I think a lot of it is mental. In an aroused state, my perceptions are very different from a non-aroused state. I can tolerate more pain, for example. I would rate a ball grope as a 2-3 on a scale of 0-10 normally. But the same grope during sex? Enjoyable! Likewise, I probably wouldn't order anything that tasted like ***** at a restaurant (I would try it). But during sex I could go for seconds or thirds, lol.
> 
> I think it is in your frame of mind how revolting or enjoyable something is. And I've always found it SO much more attractive when someone is adventurous at a restaurant versus squeamish. Same thing in bed. If you literally "can't" then OK 😏. But I think there's some negative mental conditioning at play and it's not just a purely biological rejection.
> 
> I used to have a fairly strong response to coconut. I would gag around and spit it out if someone snuck it in the icing of a dessert. It was the texture and taste. So, I forced myself to hold it in my mouth, chew it slowly, and swallow it. I didn't get sick or die! I now enjoy all kinds of coconut containing foods. Same for Brussels sprouts, asparagus, etc. It was in my head.





Middle of Everything said:


> Perfect attitude imo.
> 
> If you think your man's cum is gross disgusting toxic waste, your attitude will show it. And for most guys (imo) it will hurt his feeling if he is honest.
> 
> ...


I'm posing this question to you two since Rich mentioned the "excitement of the moment" and Middle of Everything mentioned "hurting a partners feelings". 

Would either of you perform oral sex on a partner during her period? 

I know most men would never, under any circumstance, do it. It's something they consider to be quite messy and gross, but there are a small minority who would for the same reasons you mentioned above, "the excitement of the moment" or "to prevent from hurting their partners feelings".


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## warshaw (Jul 31, 2015)

Lila said:


> Would either of you perform oral sex on a partner during her period?


No way I'd probably puke.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Yes, but what about an octopenis?


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Personal said:


> The only equivalent to that would be to perform oral sex on a penis that is bleeding, semen and blood are not the same thing. I will also add that in the only time my penis was bleeding my partner wasn't particularly interested in providing oral sex.
> 
> At first when it happened during sex, we thought it was her that was bleeding until we found out it was me. At the time all I wanted to do was sit on the floor under the shower. Fortunately it's all better now.


I didn't ask if this was an equivalent fluid or not. I only asked if they were willing to perform oral sex on their partners while on their period in the excitement of the moment or to avoid hurting their partner's feelings. 

Like I said, most men would never ever do this, not even if the woman agreed to wear a tampon or soft cup. These are some of the same men who will eat steak just shy of raw or will gladly eat the bloody organ from a kill made during a hunt. Is it mental conditioning that is causing them to think it as gross?

Some posts on this thread have suggested that women who don't enjoy ejaculate in their mouths are suffering from mental illness or have a "rigid, unforgiving, extremely uptight personality" or are suffering from mental conditioning. I'm genuinely curious if this is something that affects both sexes.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Lila said:


> I didn't ask if this was an equivalent fluid or not. I only asked if they were willing to perform oral sex on their partners while on their period in the excitement of the moment or to avoid hurting their partner's feelings.
> 
> Like I said, most men would never ever do this, not even if the woman agreed to wear a tampon or soft cup. These are some of the same men who will eat steak just shy of raw or will gladly eat the bloody organ from a kill made during a hunt. Is it mental conditioning that is causing them to think it as gross?
> 
> Some posts on this thread have suggested that women who don't enjoy ejaculate in their mouths are suffering from mental illness or have a "rigid, unforgiving, extremely uptight personality" or are suffering from mental conditioning. I'm genuinely curious if this is something that affects both sexes.


My SO has no problem going down on me when I have my period. It can feel really nice on some of those days, though I'm not always up for it if it's not a light day. 

I would not expect or demand that he do it, though. Nor would I call him all kinds of names if he were squeamish.


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## rich84 (Mar 30, 2015)

Lila said:


> I'm posing this question to you two since Rich mentioned the "excitement of the moment" and Middle of Everything mentioned "hurting a partners feelings".
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I don't really have any sexual taboos, but then again I haven't been thoroughly tested. I'm in the medical profession and not much bothers me. My wife won't LET me go down on her when she's on her period. I would, however. Not a problem. I did go down on her at the start of her period, meeting Aunt Flo at the door so to speak. I didn't tell her until she came. 😉 Came up looking like Hannibal Lecter. I know that's not the same thing as heavy flow, though. Pretty much I want any and all parts of her in my mouth and I don't care if she's freshly showered or just jogged home from town.


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## warshaw (Jul 31, 2015)

Lila said:


> Like I said, most men would never ever do this, not even if the woman agreed to wear a tampon or soft cup. These are some of the same men who will eat steak just shy of raw or will gladly eat the bloody organ from a kill made during a hunt. Is it mental conditioning that is causing them to think it as gross?


More likely that we're not cannibals.

Eating blood from people is not the same as eating it from animals.

It's like saying men will eat a hamburger (from a cow) but they won't eat somebody's foot and that's "mental conditioning".


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Maybe.......with bacon?


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

norajane said:


> My SO has no problem going down on me when I have my period. It can feel really nice on some of those days, though I'm not always up for it if it's not a light day.
> 
> I would not expect or demand that he do it, though. Nor would I call him all kinds of names if he were squeamish.


I completely agree with your point Norajane. My husband won't do it and I would never demand it. That's just his thing and I respect that.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

rich84 said:


> I don't really have any sexual taboos, but then again I haven't been thoroughly tested. I'm in the medical profession and not much bothers me. My wife won't LET me go down on her when she's on her period. I would, however. Not a problem. I did go down on her at the start of her period, meeting Aunt Flo at the door so to speak. I didn't tell her until she came. 😉 Came up looking like Hannibal Lecter. I know that's not the same thing as heavy flow, though. Pretty much I want any and all parts of her in my mouth and I don't care if she's freshly showered or just jogged home from town.


Rich, you made me laugh. Your description painted a very vivid picture, LOL. You seem like an open-minded and adventurous kind of guy. Good for you.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Personal said:


> I've done it although it's not something I tend to do. I am also not a fan of steak that is rare, but I will survive if I eat it.
> 
> As to those who don't enjoy ejaculate in the mouth, I don't believe not wanting it is a symptom of mental illness at all.
> 
> ...


That's what I find interesting about this whole conversation. I've given a whole lot of bjs in my life and also had a handful of experiences with women. I can honestly say that nothing that I've tasted come out of a woman (lubricant and squirt) remotely compares to the texture and taste of a man's ejaculate. Having recognized that I'm about 80/20 bisexual in favor of men, if i was told I had to perform oral sex to completion on a woman or a man, I would choose the woman. 



Personal said:


> Sex is naturally rather icky and oral sex is very icky for all parties, so if one provides oral sex they shouldn't be surprised to get some fluid in their mouth. *If a man or a woman doesn't want to get cum in their mouth they shouldn't perform oral sex*.


See, I think that people should be free to decide what they should or shouldn't do, and to what degree they choose to do those things. The key is to find partners who respect us enough that they can be trusted to do everything in their power to stay within our boundaries.

I would never advise a woman who enjoys giving bjs but doesn't t enjoy ejaculate in her mouth to stop performing them if her partner is respectful of that boundary. That's like biting off your nose just to spite your face. {EEK}.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

badsanta said:


> Since we lost the OP a few weeks ago when this thread derailed and pee'd its pants, can we at least cover personal experiences with sushi in between others discussing veterinary procedures or whatever?
> 
> Who is afraid to swallow this? I'd be all over that!


I've never tried octopus but wouldn't hesitate to try.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Personal said:


> The only equivalent to that would be to perform oral sex on a penis that is bleeding, semen and blood are not the same thing. I will also add that in the only time my penis was bleeding my then partner wasn't particularly interested in providing oral sex.
> 
> At first when it happened during sex, we thought it was her that was bleeding until we found out it was me. At the time all I wanted to do was sit on the floor under the shower. Fortunately it's all better now.


Menstrual flow isn't just blood. It is also uterine lining AND both the blood and lining have been under attack by bacteria by the time they make it out of the vagina.

That said, I've have gone down when my wife has put a tampon in and washed well.


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

Holland said:


> Very late to the party here and not even skimmed past page 1 lol
> 
> How can you not know when he is about to blow? Sorry but if it is all soooooo disgusting then either don't suck his d.ick or learn more about your husband.
> 
> ...


"Give me liberty or give me death," what a way to go down


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

CuddleBug said:


> I don't see the problem.
> 
> You are married to a great guy and hubby.
> 
> ...


Pavlov's dog, I like...
Pretty soon just opening a can of ensure, gets you head. Keep up the good work.


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

Personal said:


> The only equivalent to that would be to perform oral sex on a penis that is bleeding, semen and blood are not the same thing. I will also add that in the only time my penis was bleeding my then partner wasn't particularly interested in providing oral sex.
> 
> At first when it happened during sex, we thought it was her that was bleeding until we found out it was me. At the time all I wanted to do was sit on the floor under the shower. Fortunately it's all better now.


Do tell!?


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## rich84 (Mar 30, 2015)

Lila said:


> Rich, you made me laugh. Your description painted a very vivid picture, LOL. You seem like an open-minded and adventurous kind of guy. Good for you.



Thanks. That's why I think it's a mental thing that can be largely overcome if you open your mind. I was the kind of kid that didn't like to get his hands dirty. But I was exposed and desensitized to blood, gore, bodily fluids, etc. early in my adulthood. That tended to carry over into a lot of different aspects of my life including sex. 

Women who hate cum... Do you try new foods or exotic cuisines? Do you take risks (drive your car 150 mph, sky dive, etc.)? Are you paralyzed by public speaking? Are you a leader of other people? Would you say that you're timid in many areas of life? Do you hate conflict? Do you avoid discomfort? Just curious if there are any parallels.


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## SexyChic41 (Oct 21, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> How can you NOT know when your H is about to go? Those signs are pretty hard to miss. If you missed those signs, it's very possible that he wasn't able to stop in time. That happens. Sometimes that orgasm just sneaks up and is THERE! Not so common in women though. I have had a few surprise orgasms...kind weird that I'm orgasming without the usual build up.
> 
> What's the big deal about him ejaculating in your mouth? You don't have to swallow it. Just let it dribble out of you mouth and use your hand to spread it all over his package. You do realize how important this is to most men right? That they get to finish in your mouth makes that BJ an amazingly wonderful thing for them.
> 
> ...


Anon Pink!! YESSSS!!!!! I totally agree!!! You're reply was spot on!!!!


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

Lila said:


> I'm posing this question to you two since Rich mentioned the "excitement of the moment" and Middle of Everything mentioned "hurting a partners feelings".
> 
> Would either of you perform oral sex on a partner during her period?
> 
> I know most men would never, under any circumstance, do it. It's something they consider to be quite messy and gross, but there are a small minority who would for the same reasons you mentioned above, "the excitement of the moment" or "to prevent from hurting their partners feelings".


I have but my wife generally says no as she is paranoid about it.

But I do somewhat take offense to equating a mans ejaculate to discarded uterine lining and blood. 

Just stating my feelings about potentially being offended. My SO acting like my ejaculate is icky gross toxic waste would offend me.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Personal said:


> No it isn't!
> 
> As the first post shows accidents can happen. So if one will absolutely not accept cum in their mouth lest their boundaries are infringed upon, they would be foolish to expect it may not ever happen when one provides oral sex.
> 
> ...


You may have misunderstood my "biting off your nose" part of my post. I agree there are risks involved with most sexual acts. With couples like us, the risk associated with this act is higher than most. Yes, the giver risks getting ejaculate in their mouth, but in cases like mine, the receiver risks getting puked on. If both partners are willing to accept the risk, then I think they shouldn't stop doing it.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Middle of Everything said:


> i have but my wife generally says no as she is paranoid about it.
> 
> But I do somewhat take offense to equating a mans ejaculate to discarded uterine lining and blood.
> 
> Just stating my feelings about potentially being offended. My SO acting like my ejaculate is icky gross toxic waste would offend me.


To reiterate, I was not comparing ejaculate to menstrual fluid. I was curious how you would respond to a situation where you believe you have to do something that you consider to be gross in order to avoid hurting your partners feeling. I used oral sex on a woman on her menstrual cycle since it's about the only sexual act where a) it's unique to one sex b) barring very open minded people (men AND women), most think it's gross.

But thanks for responding to my question. It'


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

Lila said:


> I agree there are risks involved with most sexual acts. With couples like us, the risk associated with this act is higher than most. Yes, the giver risks getting ejaculate in their mouth


One mans risk is another mans reward.
I'd be okay with a woman ejaculating in my mouth followed by puking up octopus sushi on a rag.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

rich84 said:


> Thanks. That's why I think it's a mental thing that can be largely overcome if you open your mind. I was the kind of kid that didn't like to get his hands dirty. But I was exposed and desensitized to blood, gore, bodily fluids, etc. early in my adulthood. That tended to carry over into a lot of different aspects of my life including sex.
> 
> Women who hate cum... Do you try new foods or exotic cuisines? Do you take risks (drive your car 150 mph, sky dive, etc.)? Are you paralyzed by public speaking? Are you a leader of other people? Would you say that you're timid in many areas of life? Do you hate conflict? Do you avoid discomfort? Just curious if there are any parallels.


As I said in an earlier reply to this thread, I tend to gag uncontrollably to the point of vomiting if anything in my mouth - doesn't matter what it is - has a slimy, viscous, texture. I don't hate cum. I don't mind it on my body, my face, or my hair. I just can't tolerate anything of that texture in my mouth and have a strong gag reflex. 

And, yes, I try exotic foods (octopus doesn't bother me unless it's those little baby ones they serve still squirming, those are hard to get down because the tentacles grip the inside of your throat) and enjoy many of them, generally drive like The Transporter, handle public speaking though I don't thrive on it, have been active in theater and ballet since early childhood, lead well when called for, am no more or less conflict avoidant than most Southerners (conflict-avoidant passive-aggression is to a certain extent a cultural thing with us). I don't like heights but am not paralyzed by them and I am somewhat arachnophobic (we've got BIG spiders down here). But am otherwise very laid back in temperament and not at all the tightly wound, frigid, uptight personality that was described upthread.

FWIW, I like performing oral. I'm also game to try oral to completion with my fella, and always have been. As long as he understands and is okay with the risk of me gagging. If he doesn't mind, it doesn't really bother me. I had hyperemesis gravidarum 24-hours a day for 39 weeks when I was pregnant. After you've vomited multiple times _an hour _for months on end, you're sort of over being really bothered by it. Puking doesn't really phase me anymore, so if he's willing to risk it then game on.


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## rich84 (Mar 30, 2015)

Rowan said:


> As I said in an earlier reply to this thread, I tend to gag uncontrollably to the point of vomiting if anything in my mouth - doesn't matter what it is - has a slimy, viscous, texture. I don't hate cum. I don't mind it on my body, my face, or my hair. I just can't tolerate anything of that texture in my mouth and have a strong gag reflex.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



You're a trooper, for sure, being willing to go the distance despite your known reaction. Have you tried conditioning the response or is it just not a big deal since you still do oral but just not CIM?


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

gouge_away said:


> One mans risk is another mans reward.
> I'd be okay with a woman ejaculating in my mouth followed by puking up octopus sushi on a rag.


Even with context, this statement will haunt me for days.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

rich84 said:


> You're a trooper, for sure, being willing to go the distance despite your known reaction. Have you tried conditioning the response or is it just not a big deal since you still do oral but just not CIM?


My ex-husband and I tried off and on for many years. It never got any better. 

My current SO couldn't care less and prefers to finish with PIV.


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## warshaw (Jul 31, 2015)

Rowan said:


> FWIW, I like performing oral. I'm also game to try oral to completion with my fella, and always have been. As long as he understands and is okay with the risk of me gagging. Puking doesn't really phase me anymore, so if he's willing to risk it then game on.


Now THATS dedication.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

are you still talking about this? :surprise::laugh:


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

BTW, my wife loves it... everytime she gives me BJ, she does all she can to make me cum in her mouth... and then she swallows... I have to literally force it out of her mouth! :grin2:


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## ShockwaveRider (Jun 21, 2013)

OK, I had to google “snowballing” which of course directed me to “felching” and now I think I’M gonna vomit. Is it any wonder we have all these STDs in our society today?

My experiences have been fairly “limited” since I’ve only been with four women in my entire life (I’m 56). My first GF seemed to like to “explore her sexuality” (we were both in our early 20s) and sometimes she took the act to completion and sometimes not. My second GF was really “enthusiastic” and “skilled” and took the act to completion maybe 30% of the time. Just a gentle tap on her shoulder let her know I was in the danger zone; sometimes she reacted, sometimes not. My third GF performed the act nearly every day of the 1-1/2 years we were together. She probably blew me 500 times, and never spilled a drop. Kind of started to gross me out, with all the sucking and slurping and gulping and all. When she ditched me (for a dentist, no less) I wasn’t all that broken up about it.

Three months later I met my wife, and we were together 21 years. She wasn’t keen on giving BJs, but I didn’t care. I had my fill of that with GF #3. With my wife, my thing was serious muff-diving followed by serious PIV. I was completely, 100% satisfied with that. Never blew a load in her mouth, ever.

I’ve never been grossed out by secretions from my wife. Quite to the contrary, I adored every blessed minute of it. She belonged to me and I belonged to her, and our sex life was blissful until her hysterectomy. But that’s another story.

Never heard of anybody “vomiting” from getting a mouthful before, but like I said, my experience is “fairly limited”.

Some guys will never get a BJ in their entire life, so I guess I feel “blessed”.

Shockwave


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## vox.populi (Aug 8, 2013)

What a wonderful thread!

My turn to briefly thread jack, however.

I absolutely adore how my partner's vagina looks, tastes, smells, and on and on and on. I talk to it. Tell it hello. Tell it how beautiful it is. Then I wheeze the juice quite enthusiastically (think Encino Man...Link...Slurpee Machine). Sometimes, after I am asked to please commence with the penetrative intercourse, I comply but I just keep repeatedly returning to my meal. Yes; thrust, lick, thrust, lick, thrust, lick, wash, rinse, repeat. There are even big sloppy wet kisses during the thrusting. I've transported to Earth's surface today to testify before you how thoroughly essential enthusiastic and boisterous cunnilingus is to joyous lovemaking.

During these moan drenched sessions my goal typically drives me to place my partners hands on the back of my head then I guide her hips with my hands. I literally push her vulva into my face. I'm going for the nasty fun of a hungry grind crushing against my frantic tongue. I feed off of feeding on this lady. When the day comes that I learn which sheet music I must use to cause this woman to express ejaculate of her own, I will be right there bathing in that beautiful fluid and cresting the waves with a firm latch on her gorgeous genitalia. I shudder with the mere thoughts really. So, that's just me.

Now, back to the thread. I lack the patience to understand how partners hold back, set limits, and leave all creative exploration outside of their bedroom doors. How sad really?

I thought that a partnership just implies that we two now have a safe place to play in ways that we likely will never enjoy outside of this tabernacle for our short few trips around the sun. Indeed I wasn't overly surprised when early in the relationship she often fellated me to completion with swallowed CIM. I fully empathized with her desire to please and I damn sure won't let her give more than I strive to give in return.

What are your views? I can't be the lone freak around here. This is a realm that forges the backbone of strong long term human partnerships. Doesn't it just demand we behave more intensely?


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## rich84 (Mar 30, 2015)

vox.populi said:


> What a wonderful thread!
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Vox, I share your passion for the cunnilingual arts. Sadly, my wife is unable (or unwilling) to match my intensity. There is indeed withholding and set limits. As I said before in this thread, I think it would be amazing to have a partner that let everything go and got INTENSE. Really, I don't personally want to be/do anything different. However, I must withhold some of my intensity lest I create problems. It can overwhelm her and make her uncomfortable, for one. It can also make her feel more insecure about her own intensity level and shut her down (why can't I be that intense?). She's never shown me desire where she is ripping off my clothes or pushing me up against a wall. It's more like, "I'm going to take off my clothes now and get under these covers. Care to join me for some coitus?" 😅 it's almost as if she perceives that high level of intensity as being uncomfortably out of control. 

More and more I filter my intensity less in order to feel less repressed. I guess I do this selfishly. And it's mostly perceived positively. She will even try to give me her version of intense back, which is enthusiastic but still reserved. So, I know there is a line to cross and if I really just gave her everything I had that it would be game over. It's also harder to be intense with someone who isn't close to matching your intensity. Kind of like you start re-evaluate your level in the middle of things because you're at a 10 and your partner is at a 6. It's almost like, "Why am I at a 10 again? Maybe I'm just being silly. This clearly isn't that kind of party." She thinks I do everything to the extreme and perceives it as a personality flaw of sorts. 

Lately I've noticed the more aroused she gets the more leeway I have to push her boundaries. Usually after I go down on her and make her come (enthusiastically, as you so eloquently described) she will urge me to progress to PIV so that I can come. Wait, wasn't there supposed to be some reciprocal BJ action in there? Why are we rushing this?! If I say nothing she will not offer said head up freely. So, I recently just instructed her to do it in an authoritative tone and she did with a decent amount of enthusiasm (not to completion). Now, it would be great if she hungrily lunged for my **** having just been brought to rapture, but I guess I'll have to settle for willing and able. 

IRL people mostly do what they feel like doing and very little of what they don't feel like doing. She gets oral a lot because I enjoy giving her pleasure and it gets me going. I'm not sure either is true for her.


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