# Loss of our Daughter



## NightMare21 (Nov 4, 2009)

Hello, I just discovered these boards.

We lost our 21 year old daughter to suicide September 23, 2009. Since the passing of Mandi, nothing has been the same. Not that I expected it to be. Some of our daily, normal routines have returned somewhat with the exception of a few things. We visit her grave every day. Hubby no longer gets text messages from her, I don't get to talk to her every day before I go to work and we no longer have to wonder where she is or what shes doing. When I come home from work, I still expect to see Mandi laying on the livingroom couch watching t.v.

I've noticed something else as well. Our marriage isn't the same as it was three months ago. We both seem _very_ distant from each other. Almost "cold" to each other. There's just something different between us. Although, we don't put blame on one another for the death. It's hard to explain. While we still love each other it feels like the spark is gone and were just going through the motions of marriage. We've been married 26 years and this has never happened before. 

It seems we're more like roomates now rather then husband and wife.

Will this pass?


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## Mommybean (Jan 22, 2009)

I am SO very sorry for your loss. This is still such a new experience, you are both greiving and honestly, it is natural for this to happen right now. As the days go on, the two of you may find it easier to work your way back to each other. Have you considered seeing a counselor to help with the emotions you are feeling? 

I hope that as time goes on you can each find peace and can work your way back to each other.


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## NightMare21 (Nov 4, 2009)

Thank you so much for your kind words...

Mommy22 - I'm so sorry for your loss and my thoughts and prayers go to you.


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## AlexNY (Dec 10, 2009)

I don't know why I am answering, since I know very little about loss. I am a lucky man.

I guess I am answering so you will know that people care. I first read your post yesterday, and I wanted to say something. I just stared at a blank screen and all I could conjure were stupid banalities. I think many people are touched by your story, but very few know enough to help at all.

I am not a praying man, but I will pray for you, for your family, and for Mandi.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

I am very sorry for your loss. 

Our oldest child is sometimes suicidal and had a very close call with a suicide attempt a little over a year ago after which we had her in a locked mental ward for a week until we thought we could let her out safely. We were simply lucky. This did strain our marriage - we were both angry and sad. It greatly lowered our sex drives for a few months as well. I still worry we will get "the call" someday. 




NightMare21 said:


> Hello, I just discovered these boards.
> 
> We lost our 21 year old daughter to suicide September 23, 2009. Since the passing of Mandi, nothing has been the same. Not that I expected it to be. Some of our daily, normal routines have returned somewhat with the exception of a few things. We visit her grave every day. Hubby no longer gets text messages from her, I don't get to talk to her every day before I go to work and we no longer have to wonder where she is or what shes doing. When I come home from work, I still expect to see Mandi laying on the livingroom couch watching t.v.
> 
> ...


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