# I You Had A Time Machine....



## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

If you had a time machine, what would you do different with regards to your WSs affair?

As for myself, I wouldn't go back and warn myself to not marry the fWW, because then I wouldn't have my boys. What I would do is go back to before we got on facebook and talk about boundaries, then I would have installed the keylogger and gotten the VAR and found a forum like this.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

I wouldn't go back either because it was through my ordeal that I came out a better man.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

lordmayhem said:


> As for myself, I wouldn't go back and warn myself to not marry the fWW, because then I wouldn't have my boys.


Yeah that is the tough part. In reality anything we do differently will result in not having those kids.

But in the fantasy, I'd tell myself what she told me last summer about her childhood trauma. And I'd tell myself to grow a backbone. With those two things our marriage would have been vastly different and better.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

lordmayhem said:


> If you had a time machine, what would you do different with regards to your WSs affair?
> 
> As for myself, I wouldn't go back and warn myself to not marry the fWW, because then I wouldn't have my boys. What I would do is go back to before we got on facebook and talk about boundaries, then I would have installed the keylogger and gotten the VAR and found a forum like this.


While I think our experiences shape us.........I would not have married my ex.

There. I said it. 

Or at least would have left once I discovered him using dating sites to solicit sex from strangers. 

Or stopped any/all reconciliation when he refused to reveal who the OW was. It took him 2 years to tell me her name.

Over and out!


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I'd have to kill baby Hitler first and then invest in tech stocks before handling the wife


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

lordmayhem said:


> What I would do is go back to before we got on facebook and talk about boundaries


 What boundaries would you have set?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

^^ 1. No posting on dating sites if you want to fvck other people
2. If you do not tell me OW's name, I am not interested in reconciling
3. I would have NEVER gone to marriage counselling with him knowing what I do now. I tried to get him to go for so damn long and when he finally went it was all a farce.

basically...just helll to the no. To all of it.


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

I would have never offered the ex a ride home and would have chosen to resume my college education rather than to continue working at a job with no future so I could provide for and raise what turned out to be another guy's child.
As I reflect on it there was nothing good about those twenty years except the end.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

I would try to patent it and start a business called the "regret machine". I will also invest in Apple stock


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

even if I convinced my wife to not work the night shift I question if that would've stopped her from cheating at least at some point.

I suppose a lobotomy would've worked


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## dingerdad (Nov 23, 2011)

The list is so big...... Definitely point myself to TAM after I first got the ILYBINILWY speech, the gaslighting, the red flags,etc. Got this all 2 months prior to Dday1. Probabley would have saved me a year of hell.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Kurosity (Dec 22, 2011)

Not sure it would be safe for me to go back. I still have a lot of anger for OW. 
Then again I could have waited then taken it all to their boss and a lawyer and sued the hell out of her and the company and have much more in the bank for my children's future education.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

Wow - 2 things only. 

1) I would tell my wife about 10 years ago that I was completely uncomfortable with her friendship with her OM (which was totally innocent at that time), and that they could never see each other without me present. 

2) I would have taken my wife's warnings way more seriously.


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## TCx (Dec 15, 2011)

As a WS, I would send a copy of my journal back to myself 10 years ago so I wouldn't have to learn the lessons that I have.


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## aqua123 (Feb 3, 2012)

I would go back 3 years and never let our communication die. I would also voice my concerns the very first day I felt something was seriously off in our relationship(which is right around the time WS began a friendly relationship with the soon to be OW.)


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## lascarx (Dec 24, 2011)

I wouldn't have married her. We say it's the kids that make it all ok in the balance, but the truth is, you can have kids with anyone, your cheating spouse didn't contribute anything all that unique. It's how you raise them that counts.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I'd go back and get my parents to never meet.


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## Confused_and_bitter (Aug 6, 2011)

I would go back 6 yrs and tell myself to not get married, that it will just be a waste of my time. Then I would have enrolled myself back into college and study my ass off towards my degree.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 67flh (Sep 26, 2011)

i would go back to they day EVERYONE told me not to marry that ho-bag.


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

I would go back to last March when we were lying on seperate sides of the bed, no hugging, no kissing, nothing, and i would talk to him. Ask him what was wrong and how we could fix things.

That was a couple of weeks before his EA started!
So many regrets!


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## TCx (Dec 15, 2011)

Thanks for asking this question; it was something that I needed to think about and hadn't yet.


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## AnnaS (Feb 1, 2012)

I would go back in time and never married him. I didn't see him for a year and almost got over him. I met this nice guy who wanted me to be his gf but I told him no and stayed true to my cheating man. Talk about being young and dumb. No. Blind


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