# Husband Slaps my Ass Too Much!



## CharlotteMcdougall (Mar 15, 2014)

I have a round and firm bum. I have received many compliments on it and my husband adores my ass a little bit too much. 

He is CONSTANTLY slapping it! I cannot bend over in front of my husband without him slapping or grinding on my ass. Sometimes he likes to give my butt a pinch. I enjoy having my butt slapped during sex but not all the time. The final straw was when my husband and I were at a mall last week. He slapped and pinched my ass so much that people were staring. 

Every time I complain to my husband about this issue, he tells me that he is just showing appreciation for my curvy bum. When I asked him not to slap my ass in public, my husband said "Hey, we have to keep things spicy and not fall into a rut."

I mentioned this to a friend and she said that men like to play with the women they love. She thinks that I should be glad that my husband likes my ass so much that he can't keep his hands off it.

What do you think? Am I wrong?


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

why do you not like it?

does it hurt physically.

does it hurt your feeling.

if you truly hate it and want it to stop make it a boundary. the next time turn around and say if your ever slap my ass again I will call the cops.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

CharlotteMcdougall said:


> I have a round and firm bum. I have received many compliments on it and my husband adores my ass a little bit too much.
> 
> He is CONSTANTLY slapping it! I cannot bend over in front of my husband without him slapping or grinding on my ass. Sometimes he likes to give my butt a pinch. I enjoy having my butt slapped during sex but not all the time. The final straw was when my husband and I were at a mall last week. He slapped and pinched my ass so much that people were staring.
> 
> ...



I agree with your friend that us men like to play with the women we love. True. I used to do this all the time to Mrs. CuddleBug but now I mainly put my hands in her back pockets, and pull her in for a hug, gently squeezing her bum. She likes this a lot more than just slap her ass.

One day, the ass grinding, pinching and slapping may stop and then nothing.

I would say, enjoy this while it lasts because it won't last forever and only you are getting his attention and not other women.

Have a lot of doggie style sex with him and let him go crazy, since he loves your ass so much.

Enjoy it because it won't last forever.:smthumbup:


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

I think that's great that your DH admire's your rear so. Mine does the same, I like it, except not out in public. Sometimes he will dry hump me all the way across the kitchen or hallway onto our bed, where both start laughing. I am glad it's mine he is grabbing instead of another's. But when I do see a man smack his woman's rear in public, I smile and think to myself how happy they must be. It is a refreshing scene to see instead of the typical arguing couple you see in a store.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

Cuddle Bug, we have been almost 22 years and Dh STILL smacks and grinds my rear. I hope it DOES last forever!!


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## CharlotteMcdougall (Mar 15, 2014)

CuddleBug said:


> I agree with your friend that us men like to play with the women we love. True. I used to do this all the time to Mrs. CuddleBug but now I mainly put my hands in her back pockets, and pull her in for a hug, gently squeezing her bum. She likes this a lot more than just slap her ass.
> 
> One day, the ass grinding, pinching and slapping may stop and then nothing.
> 
> ...


Married couples can be playful and sexual for decades if they work at it. I agree that it is harder to keep the spark as the years go by. 

We do have a lot of doggie style sex though.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

Charlotte. Be glad he's not slapping and pinching some other woman's "Bum".

Reminds me of the British girl in that toilet paper commercial that say's "lets talk about your bum".


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

over20, 

I am extremely happy your hubby still loves your ass. Nothing wrong with the man you love only wanting you and your body and no other woman's.

I think a lot of ladies are not used to this attention and initially don't like it but when you think about, they are getting all his attention and not going to another lady.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

CharlotteMcdougall said:


> Married couples can be playful and sexual for decades if they work at it. I agree that it is harder to keep the spark as the years go by.
> 
> We do have a lot of doggie style sex though.



I love doggie style sex......its so good.

Feeling her bum cheeks against me, while I'm in her......I need a cold bath!!!


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

CuddleBug said:


> I love doggie style sex......its so good.


Thanks, Cuddle Bug.


Doggy is our fav lately too! It's so raw!


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

Charlotte, are you guys newlyweds? I so congratulations and welcome to TAM!! Great people here on TAM. Is that your wedding pic as your avatar?


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## CharlotteMcdougall (Mar 15, 2014)

CuddleBug said:


> I love doggie style sex......its so good.
> 
> Feeling her bum cheeks against me, while I'm in her......I need a cold bath!!!


:smthumbup: Me too! I enjoy deep penetration and the feeling of being "taken".


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

over20 said:


> Thanks, Cuddle Bug.
> 
> 
> Doggy is our fav lately too! It's so raw!



Damn......its so raw. I definitely need a cold bath now!!


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

CharlotteMcdougall said:


> :smthumbup: Me too! I enjoy deep penetration and the feeling of being "taken".


I think that's why Mrs. CuddleBug seems to always want doggie style sex, with her legs tight together and I grab her hip and my other hand on her shoulder pounding as fast and hard as I can. She arches her back and pounds back!!!


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

Lol over 20 - I guess you weren't a Sex and the City watcher?

I don't think there is anything wrong with expecting him to keep his hands off your rear while you are in public.


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## CharlotteMcdougall (Mar 15, 2014)

over20 said:


> Charlotte, are you guys newlyweds? I so congratulations and welcome to TAM!! Great people here on TAM. Is that your wedding pic as your avatar?


No, we've been married for almost four years. 

That picture is from Sex and The City. My username pays homage to the female character in my avatar.

I identify with Charlotte the character a great deal. My husband is Scottish and preppie, just like Trey Macdougal who is the hubby in the picture.


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## CharlotteMcdougall (Mar 15, 2014)

chillymorn said:


> why do you not like it?
> 
> does it hurt physically.
> 
> ...


I would never threaten to call the police over my husband playfully slapping my ass. That would be an overreaction. 

It doesn't hurt physically or hurt my feelings. It is just annoying and embarrassing in public.

Just today, my husband slapped my ass when I was bending over to feed our cat. When I told him to stop, my husband said: 
"What? I can't slap my wife on the ass? We're MARRIED."


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Maybe you two can find some middle ground. At home all good but if you are embarrassed when out in public then that could be the time he refrains.

Enjoy and cherish a man that adores you so much that he cannot keep his hands off you, he is a prize, don't put him off doing what he loves doing. Keep it fun and happy but also ask him to listen to you and understand where your boundaries are. 

FWIW I deliberately bend over in front of Mr H, I love it when he pervs on and puts his hands all over me.


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## CharlotteMcdougall (Mar 15, 2014)

I have very rigid boundaries and I recognize that my husband is trying to break down my walls. I used to shoo away his hands, until my husband told me how much my reluctance hurt his feelings. I enjoy being touched but sometimes the groping is a bit much.


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## Hurtin_Still (Oct 3, 2011)

*Re: Re: Husband Slaps my Ass Too Much!*



CharlotteMcdougall said:


> I would never threaten to call the police over my husband playfully slapping my ass. That would be an overreaction.
> 
> It doesn't hurt physically or hurt my feelings. It is just annoying and embarrassing in public.
> 
> ...


....was today "Reject The Husband Day" ...and I was uninformed?

....I slapped my wife's ass ....as I do whenever I can ....and she freaked on me and said. "I hate when you do that"!!

....seriously ...I was kinda' crushed.


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## CharlotteMcdougall (Mar 15, 2014)

Hurtin_Still said:


> .*...was today "Reject The Husband Day" ...and I was uninformed?*
> 
> ....I slapped my wife's ass ....as I do whenever I can ....and she freaked on me and said. "I hate when you do that"!!
> 
> ....seriously ...I was kinda' crushed.


:lol: The bolded part of your message was very funny.

I am sorry that your wife makes you feel rejected. My husband is very sensitive to feeling rejected when it comes to playfully showing affection, so I try not to do that very often. 

To be honest, I don't think the constant butt slapping will ever stop. I like having my ass smacked a little but not all the live long day.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I guess what's important is how his enthusiastic attention to you butt makes you feel? Does it make you feel loved, wanted, sexy and desired? Or does it make you feel cheap or used?

And secondly...why?

I'm fine with my husband's sexual attention, particularly now that he is sooooo good with it! It's the feeling we ourselves associate with the gesture that make it special or unwanted.


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## omgitselaine (Sep 5, 2013)

I've always felt that I'd much rather have my husband be slapping my ass ..... too much than another woman's  ???


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## Hurtin_Still (Oct 3, 2011)

*Re: Re: Husband Slaps my Ass Too Much!*



CharlotteMcdougall said:


> :lol: The bolded part of your message was very funny.
> 
> I am sorry that your wife makes you feel rejected. My husband is very sensitive to feeling rejected when it comes to playfully showing affection, so I try not to do that very often.
> 
> To be honest, I don't think the constant butt slapping will ever stop. I like having my ass smacked a little but not all the live long day.


....frankly ....I'm getting tired of her being so 'sensitive' to my either giving her an affectionate 'smack' or a poke if I'm walking up our stairs behind her.

.....if I don't make any of these actions ....along with impromptu hugs or "booby-grabs" (in private of course) ....we'd just pass like ships in the night, because, she does nothing.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

I had to put a stop to the ass-smacking in my marriage. I think if he showed me physical affection in other ways that I liked it might not have bothered me as much. But when that's the only way he shows it, and it's certainly not the way I like, it's just annoying.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

Hurtin_Still said:


> ....frankly ....I'm getting tired of her being so 'sensitive' to my either giving her an affectionate 'smack' or a poke if I'm walking up our stairs behind her.
> 
> .....if I don't make any of these actions ....along with impromptu hugs or "booby-grabs" (in private of course) ....we'd just pass like ships in the night, because, she does nothing.


That is so sad....do you have any clue why she is so resistant? I mean is she harboring resentment towards you, illness...?


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## CharlotteMcdougall (Mar 15, 2014)

Blanca said:


> I had to put a stop to the ass-smacking in my marriage. I think if he showed me physical affection in other ways that I liked it might not have bothered me as much. But when that's the only way he shows it, and it's certainly not the way I like, it's just annoying.


I can see how that would annoy you. To his credit, my husband is very affectionate in other ways as well. It is just that I think he needs to slap my ass less and certainly not in public.


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## CharlotteMcdougall (Mar 15, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> I guess what's important is how his enthusiastic attention to you butt makes you feel? Does it make you feel loved, wanted, sexy and desired? Or does it make you feel cheap or used?
> 
> And secondly...why?
> 
> I'm fine with my husband's sexual attention, particularly now that he is sooooo good with it! It's the feeling we ourselves associate with the gesture that make it special or unwanted.


When we are in bed, having my ass slapped is a turn on. 
I wouldn't mind if he slapped my ass outside of the bedroom once in a while, but not nearly every time I bend over or walk by. I feel the same about my husband grinding his crotch against my ass so much. It just becomes too much at a certain point.

We have an amazing and fulfilling sex life. My husband is trying to get me to relax my rigid emotional boundaries around sex. Part of that is teasing me and playing with me a lot when we aren't in bed. 

When we argue, my husband always tries to make up by kissing and cuddling me. Sometimes I don't want him to touch me when I am angry and I will say so. My husband just talks to me in a very coaxing tone.."Babeeee...don't be like that." 

Of course most wives would rather their husband's pay attention to them than other women. That is a given. However, the attention needs to be enjoyable and not irritating. My ass isn't a bongo drum.


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## Hurtin_Still (Oct 3, 2011)

*Re: Re: Husband Slaps my Ass Too Much!*



over20 said:


> That is so sad....do you have any clue why she is so resistant? I mean is she harboring resentment towards you, illness...?


....she's claimed that it's "not loving".

....mind you ...I team up my little smacks with verbal accompaniment such as "nice ass" ...or .."I love the way those jeans make your ass look". 

....again ...it a bit more than aggravating to me.


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## CharlotteMcdougall (Mar 15, 2014)

Hurtin_Still said:


> ....frankly ....I'm getting tired of her being so 'sensitive' to my either giving her an affectionate 'smack' or a poke if I'm walking up our stairs behind her.
> 
> .....if I don't make any of these actions ....along with impromptu hugs or "booby-grabs" (in private of course) ....we'd just pass like ships in the night, because, she does nothing.


Have you ever asked your wife what kind of affection she enjoys? Perhaps she doesn't enjoy being smacked, poked or grabbed.

We all have sensitivity to different things. When I reject my husband's attempts to be playful or romantic, he feels crushed and distant from me. 

Marriage is challenging me to move past my emotional barriers. It is scary but healthy at the same time..whenever I let my guard down, I discover the joys of connection. My husband told me that my giggle is one of his favorite sounds.


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## Hurtin_Still (Oct 3, 2011)

*Re: Re: Husband Slaps my Ass Too Much!*



CharlotteMcdougall said:


> Have you ever asked your wife what kind of affection she enjoys? Perhaps she doesn't enjoy being smacked, poked or grabbed.
> 
> We all have sensitivity to different things. When I reject my husband's attempts to be playful or romantic, he feels crushed and distant from me.
> 
> Marriage is challenging me to move past my emotional barriers. It is scary but healthy at the same time..whenever I let my guard down, I discover the joys of connection. My husband told me that my giggle is one of his favorite sounds.


....asked her? ...no.

....been told by her? ...yes.

....I completely know how to show affection towards her .....and i do. But sometimes ....a grab, a grope, a light smack .... should also be acceptable.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

Hurtin_Still said:


> ....asked her? ...no.
> 
> ....been told by her? ...yes.
> 
> ....I completely know how to show affection towards her .....and i do. But sometimes ....a grab, a grope, a light smack .... should also be acceptable.


This is what I do not get. A husband and wife marry. A husband and wife have ALL rights to their spouses body. One spouse changes the rules. A Dh or DW should never have to feel shamed about touching their spouses body. If one doesn't want to be to touched, then don't marry.

I think I need to elaborate. Men are very, very visual beings. They are raw and primal sometimes with their wives. I personally love my husband's "Maleness." We as wives are the ONLY channel they have to express their sexual urges through. It takes a very strong man NOT to want to slap a total stranger's beautiful rear. To have to come home and have to control himself with his own wife must feel like torture.


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## CharlotteMcdougall (Mar 15, 2014)

Hurtin_Still said:


> ....asked her? ...no.
> 
> ....been told by her? ...yes.
> 
> ....I completely know how to show affection towards her .....and i do. But sometimes ....a grab, a grope, a light smack .... should also be acceptable.


I agree that there has to be some compromise on how to show affection. I wouldn't mind a pinch or slap once in a while but not all the time.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

I once posted something similar many years ago, now I think I slap my DHs ass as much as he slaps mine. I figured, 'if you can't beat em, join em'. I recently made a rare complaint that could he quit slapping me on the ass after he did it repeatedly while I was walking around in the kitchen, so he slapped me again, harder. I GIVE UP! lol

Just a hint for while you are in public, hold his hand as much as you can, that'll stop him from slapping you so much.


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## CharlotteMcdougall (Mar 15, 2014)

breeze said:


> I once posted something similar many years ago, now I think I slap my DHs ass as much as he slaps mine. I figured, 'if you can't beat em, join em'. I recently made a rare complaint that could he quit slapping me on the ass after he did it repeatedly while I was walking around in the kitchen, so he slapped me again, harder. I GIVE UP! lol
> 
> Just a hint for while you are in public, hold his hand as much as you can, that'll stop him from slapping you so much.


Nice suggestion! We do hold hands as we walk most of the time. There is also another free hand though.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

CharlotteMcdougall said:


> When we are in bed, having my ass slapped is a turn on.
> I wouldn't mind if he slapped my ass outside of the bedroom once in a while, but not nearly every time I bend over or walk by. I feel the same about my husband grinding his crotch against my ass so much. It just becomes too much at a certain point.
> 
> We have an amazing and fulfilling sex life. My husband is trying to get me to relax my rigid emotional boundaries around sex. Part of that is teasing me and playing with me a lot when we aren't in bed.
> ...


You avoided the questions. 

What are your emotions when your husband slaps your bum? Does it make you feel loved, desired, wanted? If not, when do you feel loved and desired? Do you pair those two emotions together in your head or are they separate?


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

Be straight forward with him and tell him to knock it off while out in public. That it's a boundary you do not want crossed. But don't get all freaked out when your out in the mall when he stops checking out your butt and starts looking at others. You have all his attention now. You may miss it when it's gone.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

It'd probably be an irritation, much like if someone kept slapping you on the arm, every time they walked by, slap. Not enough to cause pain, but enough to just irritate you because your personal space is being breached. Now I'm going to have people tell me there's no such thing as personal space between married couples and women have no rights to their bodies once they say 'I do', like all those years of being raised to believe you had rights over how you like your body to be treated by others are erased as soon as you have a partner. Sorry, that doesn't apply to them, they can do whatever the hell they like to you, whenever they like, and if you don't like it, you're a **** partner and there's something wrong with you.


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## struggle (May 13, 2013)

I'm an a$$ person myself...and I appreciate my man's and I want my man to appreciate mine. I think there is a "line" that can be crossed with a little bit TOO much smacking or pinching. Especially if it hurts. During sex, well, a couple good ones are just fine with me, but too much CAN be too much and you're just thinking about how much your cheeks hurt and not whats happening elsewhere. Unless pain turns you on I guess!

Let's see. In public it's perfectly OK with me. Especially when the opportunity presents itself and I just caught myself admiring his bum, or him vice versa. I do appreciate secretive little things too. If he's being kind of vulgar about it, or making big/obvious 'swings' at my a$$ and it gets a crowd watching, I would be uncomfortable. If he does it, and it happens to catch someone's attention and they stare, I wouldn't care. 

At home...the gloves are off. He better dry-hump my a$$


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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

I do not think marriage entitles someone free reign over their spouses body.

Go buy a dog collar and leash and parade him through the mall with it on. *When* he complains say: Can't a wife show affection and add a little spice?

Or maybe when he slaps your ass you slap his cheek. I bet he stops after the third time. 

There is a big difference between affection and being an annoying a -hole.


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## ClimbingTheWalls (Feb 16, 2013)

I am more than happy for hubby to slap or pinch or pat or fondle my backside whenever he feels like it if we are somewhere in private. If I am in a really bad mood I might growl at him, but generally I'm not.

In public I really, really loathe being groped uninvited. If we are standing next to each other and he puts his arm round my waist and then the hand drifts lower that is OK. A VERY occasional swat or pat of the backside is tolerable. If we are out at a disco and are having a smoochy dance then fondling is OK, but unexpected and uninvited - no. Makes me uncomfortable. He knows this and very rarely pushes me to the limit.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

Women bumbs are awesome.

Poor guy just can't contain himself. He needs to chill. But I dont blame him.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

This is not about sex. It's about accommodating a simple request from someone he loves and whose feeling and comfort he respects. 

It matters to you OP and it should matter to him. Do you do things for him just because they are important to him. Suppose you stopped accommodating him? 

You are right to be concerned and to ask for help. The seems trivial now but the little annoyances accumulate over time. You reach a tipping point and lose the desire to go the extra mile for him.

Try to get your husband to see that a team effort for maintaining respect is important for the health of your marriage. Promise each other that what is important to one person will be important to the other. At lest make compromise out of empathy for the other person. 

As for concerns about him replacing your azz with those of random women if you don't allow him to ignore your request - ridiculous. 

I am sure certain that he did not marry you to have an azz to slap. He does not realize how important honoring your feelings is to the health of your marriage in the coming years.


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## HotLove&Emotion (Mar 14, 2014)

My husband slaps my bum all the time too. It used to be fun and cute but now it's just annoying and he slaps it hard I say ouch and he thinks I actually enjoy it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CharlotteMcdougall (Mar 15, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> You avoided the questions.
> 
> What are your emotions when your husband slaps your bum? Does it make you feel loved, desired, wanted? If not, when do you feel loved and desired? Do you pair those two emotions together in your head or are they separate?


This was my answer upthread. I am sorry if it wasn't clear or satisfactory enough for you:

"_When we are in bed, having my ass slapped is a turn on. 
I wouldn't mind if he slapped my ass outside of the bedroom once in a while, but not nearly every time I bend over or walk by. I feel the same about my husband grinding his crotch against my ass so much. It just becomes too much at a certain point.

We have an amazing and fulfilling sex life. My husband is trying to get me to relax my rigid emotional boundaries around sex. Part of that is teasing me and playing with me a lot when we aren't in bed. 

When we argue, my husband always tries to make up by kissing and cuddling me. Sometimes I don't want him to touch me when I am angry and I will say so. My husband just talks to me in a very coaxing tone.."Babeeee...don't be like that." 

Of course most wives would rather their husband's pay attention to them than other women. That is a given. However, the attention needs to be enjoyable and not irritating. My ass isn't a bongo drum_."


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## CharlotteMcdougall (Mar 15, 2014)

ClimbingTheWalls said:


> I am more than happy for hubby to slap or pinch or pat or fondle my backside whenever he feels like it if we are somewhere in private. If I am in a really bad mood I might growl at him, but generally I'm not.
> 
> In public I really, really loathe being groped uninvited. If we are standing next to each other and he puts his arm round my waist and then the hand drifts lower that is OK. A VERY occasional swat or pat of the backside is tolerable. If we are out at a disco and are having a smoochy dance then fondling is OK, but unexpected and uninvited - no. Makes me uncomfortable. He knows this and very rarely pushes me to the limit.


:iagree: While I believe my husband slaps my ass too much in general, I am much more receptive to that in the privacy of our own home.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Perhaps you would be happier if he turned his attention elsewhere. Or maybe you'd rather he become a sexless wallet-drone. I don't know, seems to me lots of women enjoy attention from their husbands.


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## CharlotteMcdougall (Mar 15, 2014)

breeze said:


> It'd probably be an irritation, much like if someone kept slapping you on the arm, every time they walked by, slap. Not enough to cause pain, but enough to just irritate you because your personal space is being breached. Now I'm going to have people tell me there's no such thing as personal space between married couples and women have no rights to their bodies once they say 'I do', like all those years of being raised to believe you had rights over how you like your body to be treated by others are erased as soon as you have a partner. Sorry, that doesn't apply to them, they can do whatever the hell they like to you, whenever they like, and if you don't like it, you're a **** partner and there's something wrong with you.


:iagree: I am so glad that some people understand what I am trying to convey. I don't think that I need to be glad that my husband slaps my ass too much because I find it annoying and irritating. There are better ways to show that he appreciates my body. 

I believe that married couples still have the right to set physical boundaries with each other. It is part of retaining some individuality as we are not one person just because we are married. I hate the idea of my husband having "rights" over my body. I was with a man in the past who trampled all over my boundaries and it made me angry and resentful.

As for wanting my husband to become a "sexless wallet drone", I don't know where that terrible assumption comes from at all. When did I indicate that my husband and I have sexual problems or I am just using him for money?! Just because I don't want my ass slapped every minute, it doesn't mean that I am a sexually cold gold digger. I am deeply offended and disgusted by that comment. I don't mind it if people disagree with me, but please keep the personal attacks and horribly negative assumptions to yourself. 

My first reported post and blocked member...looks like a rite of passage here on TAM. 

I have the right to decide what kind of attention I receive from my husband, just as he has every right to do the same. I am married to a real man who isn't going to seek attention from other women just because his wife has limits on what she enjoys.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Perhaps you would be happier if he turned his attention elsewhere. Or maybe you'd rather he become a sexless wallet-drone. I don't know, seems to me lots of women enjoy attention from their husbands.


Lovely...

How would you feel if your wife constantly slapped you as you walked by her, always slapping, not painful, but just a constant thing? Then, if you said you'd prefer she not slap, people tell you, "Perhaps you'd be happier if she turned her attention elsewhere...", because you dared to not appreciate being constantly slapped. Yeah I get it, all attention is good attention right, it doesn't matter how you feel about it, you should just be thankful you're getting any at all.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

Does he have a nice butt too ? Then I suggest you take a riding crop to it a few times (with as much gusto as you can muster) in public and he will soon get the message!


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

Your maiden name wasn't Campbell by any chance ? Because if it was, it might have something to do with the over zealous slapping.

On a more serious note, he probably doesn't fully understand the annoyance and probably sees himself as being (a) affectionate and (b) slightly possessive in public

Still sometimes the only way to make him see sense is to reciprocate in spades


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I feel your pain Charlotte My ex was this way,so much.Never left my ass and boobs alone. 

it made me feel cheap and like a party favor there for him to grope. 

There weren't enough non sexual touches to balance it out. Do you receive enough non sexual touches?


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## CharlotteMcdougall (Mar 15, 2014)

breeze said:


> Lovely...
> 
> How would you feel if your wife constantly slapped you as you walked by her, always slapping, not painful, but just a constant thing? Then, if you said you'd prefer she not slap, people tell you, "Perhaps you'd be happier if she turned her attention elsewhere...", because you dared to not appreciate being constantly slapped. Yeah I get it, all attention is good attention right, it doesn't matter how you feel about it, you should just be thankful you're getting any at all.


Thank you so much for defending me. I appreciate it. :smthumbup:

Sometimes people like to project their anger about their own situations onto others. Based on WOM's posts, it is clear that the resentment he feels for his wife is causing him to lash out at strangers.


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## CharlotteMcdougall (Mar 15, 2014)

ScarletBegonias said:


> I feel your pain Charlotte My ex was this way,so much.Never left my ass and boobs alone.
> 
> it made me feel cheap and like a party favor there for him to grope.
> 
> There weren't enough non sexual touches to balance it out. Do you receive enough non sexual touches?


Oh yes! My husband and I are constantly kissing and cuddling. 

When we speak of this issue, my husband says that he is just being playful and showing his love. He also says that I have the best ass of any woman he has ever been with. 

There are some times where I don't mind having my ass slapped or touched. For example, my husband and I made love last night. We were enjoying the languorous afterward and he rested his hand on my bottom. That was completely fine with me.


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## CharlotteMcdougall (Mar 15, 2014)

manfromlamancha said:


> Your maiden name wasn't Campbell by any chance ? Because if it was, it might have something to do with the over zealous slapping.
> 
> On a more serious note, he probably doesn't fully understand the annoyance and probably sees himself as being (a) affectionate and (b) slightly possessive in public
> 
> Still sometimes the only way to make him see sense is to reciprocate in spades


:lol::lol: Love the Campbell joke! 

Maybe I should start grabbing my husband's balls in public?


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

CharlotteMcdougall said:


> Oh yes! My husband and I are constantly kissing and cuddling.
> 
> When we speak of this issue, my husband says that he is just being playful and showing his love. He also says that I have the best ass of any woman he has ever been with.
> 
> There are some times where I don't mind having my ass slapped or touched. For example, my husband and I made love last night. We were enjoying the languorous afterward and he rested his hand on my bottom. That was completely fine with me.


well that's great!  It's tough to accept sexual touches when there's not enough non sexual stuff going on to balance it. 

The only other thing I might try if talking didn't work would be to start groping him in public to the point of embarrassment.  

When he's around a bunch of men just give him a giant whack right on his ass.


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

CharlotteMcdougall said:


> :lol::lol: Love the Campbell joke!
> 
> Maybe I should start grabbing my husband's balls in public?


Balls and bum are equivalent? Wouldn't bum and bum be more equivalent? I think the likelihood is that he would like for you to smack his bum.


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

Maybe I'm a prude but I don't think it's appropriate for a man to be slapping or grinding his wife's ass at the mall. In my mind that smacks of someone trying to stake a claim, as in, "look everyone this is my woman" more than it is sexual. 

Truly sexual advances should be reserved for appropriate circumstances. In front of young families at the mall is not one of them.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Holding hands in public shows affection. A kiss in public shows affection.

Constant ass-slapping in public, especially when you've already told him you are uncomfortable with it, seems disrespectful to me, not affectionate. It's not sexy, either.


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## loveforfamily (Mar 13, 2014)

Awww yes, slapping hiney, being taken all primal and all good. If it is too much, find that middle ground. I personally like it in and out of the bedroom. It says to me "mine, I like it and you can share my cave". I feel it's my handsome man's way of claiming me. Dang! Who doesn't want the man they love to claim them loud and proud. Beating his chest and claiming you worthy above any other and delicious to him. "My mate" is what it screams to me. As long as my husband loves me, respects me and knows a gentle word and hand as well, all is good. I am worried when that isn't happening. It means problems in the ranks. On the serious note, if it feels degrading just tell him so. I suspect he loves you or would not waste the time. Maybe him doing it in public has turned you off to it being done in private as well. Something to think about.


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## CharlotteMcdougall (Mar 15, 2014)

MaritimeGuy said:


> Maybe I'm a prude but *I don't think it's appropriate for a man to be slapping or grinding his wife's ass at the mall.* In my mind that smacks of someone trying to stake a claim, as in, "look everyone this is my woman" more than it is sexual.
> 
> Truly sexual advances should be reserved for appropriate circumstances. In front of young families at the mall is not one of them.


:iagree: 

I know I am far from a prude who doesn't appreciate her husband's attention, as some people have tried to accuse me of being. I have a high sex drive and enjoy frequent lovemaking with my husband. I simply believe that some things are best enjoyed in private. 

I enjoy kissing and holding hands in public. However, when I see couples groping each other in public places I feel disgusted.


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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

VermisciousKnid said:


> Balls and bum are equivalent? Wouldn't bum and bum be more equivalent? I think the likelihood is that he would like for you to smack his bum.


The purpose is not to find an equivalent body part -it is obvious that a bum is a bum. 

The purpose is to find an equivalent in comfort or perceived appropriateness.

Yes, he probably would like his bum grabbed or slapped. -what exactly is that going to accomplish?


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## groovebaer63 (Jan 9, 2014)

VermisciousKnid said:


> CharlotteMcdougall said:
> 
> 
> > Love the Campbell joke!
> ...


Totally agree - i don't mind when my wife makes a claim to my bum (in public or other).
However - saying stop should make it clear when too much is too much (i can't get enough of squeezing my Ws bum - and luckily it is reciprocal ) but i wouldn't want to embarras her in public

_Posted via *Topify* using iPhone/iPad_


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

usmarriedguy said:


> The purpose is not to find an equivalent body part -it is obvious that a bum is a bum.
> 
> The purpose is to find an equivalent in comfort or perceived appropriateness.
> 
> Yes, he probably would like his bum grabbed or slapped. -what exactly is that going to accomplish?


Just pointing out that grabbing his balls could also be construed as an overreaction or an escalation. Better to communicate verbally.


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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

"Every time I complain to my husband about this issue,"

After reading the original post why would you feel that she has not communicated verbally?

I think the comment was tongue and cheek.


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

I didn't say that she didn't. I said that verbal communication is still the better route.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

VermisciousKnid said:


> Just pointing out that grabbing his balls could also be construed as an overreaction or an escalation. Better to communicate verbally.


If he did this to me, I would walk away with a comment "I will shop with you when you can treat me as I asked." I would then not be in public with him until he could/did.


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## Coldie (Jan 2, 2014)

CharlotteMcdougall said:


> I have a round and firm bum. I have received many compliments on it and my husband adores my ass a little bit too much.
> 
> He is CONSTANTLY slapping it! I cannot bend over in front of my husband without him slapping or grinding on my ass. Sometimes he likes to give my butt a pinch. I enjoy having my butt slapped during sex but not all the time. The final straw was when my husband and I were at a mall last week. He slapped and pinched my ass so much that people were staring.
> 
> ...


My wife does the same to me too. Hard though, especially when I am wet or in the shower. It stings so bad that I get mad. However, no matter what I say she just laughs and says, "Aww, you're b*tching is so cute."

I just live with it.


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## MysticSoul (Mar 3, 2014)

My husband likes to slap my bum too!! 

For me, there can be a variety of reasons why at that particular moment, I didn't like that type of attention. Sometimes it makes me feel cheap. Sometimes I'm stressed out and feel like DH isn't respecting the situation or my emotional needs at that moment. Sometimes my back hurts (I have chronic back problems), and smacking me on the bum aggravates it. Sometimes I'm in the middle of something and it is an inappropriate moment to display that TYPE of affection (like when I'm talking to someone). 

I will playfully smack DH's bum. Normally when we're squeezing around each other in our tiny bathroom, or he walks past me, naked. In public, I prefer just rubbing his back, and sneaking a gentle squeeze in every so often. 

I try to redirect DH to a more suitable display of affection. Perhaps you can tell him how amazing it feels when he gently cups your behind, instead of smacking it. especially in public, there is something very erotic about the quiet, tender, yet possessive, displays over the loud and blatant.


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## CharlotteMcdougall (Mar 15, 2014)

MysticSoul said:


> My husband likes to slap my bum too!!
> 
> For me, there can be a variety of reasons why at that particular moment, I didn't like that type of attention. Sometimes it makes me feel cheap. Sometimes I'm stressed out and feel like DH isn't respecting the situation or my emotional needs at that moment. Sometimes my back hurts (I have chronic back problems), and smacking me on the bum aggravates it. Sometimes I'm in the middle of something and it is an inappropriate moment to display that TYPE of affection (like when I'm talking to someone).
> 
> ...


I agree with the eroticism of the tender and quiet displays. I love it when my husband randomly cups my breast and kisses my neck when we are at home.

My husband has agreed not to smack my ass in public anymore. :smthumbup: He loves to play with me but he doesn't want to make me feel bad. 

I will continue to enjoy the kissing and holding hands when we are out.


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## justfabulous (Feb 9, 2014)

over20 said:


> Cuddle Bug, we have been almost 22 years and Dh STILL smacks and grinds my rear. I hope it DOES last forever!!



Same over here! :smthumbup:


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## justfabulous (Feb 9, 2014)

CharlotteMcdougall said:


> Married couples can be playful and sexual for decades if they work at it. I agree that it is harder to keep the spark as the years go by.



If you have the right chemistry, the sparks just keep on flying. 20 years and counting over here and its hotter than EVER (and believe me, it started out pretty dang hot


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## justfabulous (Feb 9, 2014)

CharlotteMcdougall said:


> I have very rigid boundaries and I recognize that my husband is trying to break down my walls. I used to shoo away his hands, until my husband told me how much my reluctance hurt his feelings. I enjoy being touched but sometimes the groping is a bit much.



I was sort of that way in the first 10 years or so of my relationship with my husband. I loved the fact that he was totally into me, but constantly being pawed at when you're just trying to get some basic thing done did sometimes get annoying. I never really got mad or seriously annoyed, but often enough when I was trying to take care of something at the time I'd playfully shoo him away instead of just rolling with it.

Now we've been married 20 years, he's still into me, still grabbing at me all the time, and over time I developed an appreciation for it and I have a lot of fun with it. Now I take it as an opportunity to just slow down in the midst of constantly "doing" whatever it is I'm doing and just be in the moment with him and enjoy it. When I think back at how I used to shoo him away... if I could turn back time I'd play that differently. I'd savor and enjoy every moment of it like I do now. That's my advice to you.


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## justfabulous (Feb 9, 2014)

Hurtin_Still said:


> ....was today "Reject The Husband Day" ...and I was uninformed?
> 
> ....I slapped my wife's ass ....as I do whenever I can ....and she freaked on me and said. "I hate when you do that"!!
> 
> ....seriously ...I was kinda' crushed.



Oh, man, that actually makes me sad. You know, women do not realize they are being hurtful when they react that way- they really do not (speaking for myself at least). In the same way that guys can be kind of ignorant and insensitive to women in a multitude of ways... there are things women just don't understand about guys and their feelings often times too. Over time we figure these things out - for some of us it takes longer than others. 

Maybe you need to let her know how that makes you feel inside. I bet she'd be surprised and perhaps become a little more sensitive and even more appreciative of the attention when she realizes there's actually a heart behind it. I guess a lot of times we think of guys as hound dogs... and we don't realize there is actually a lot of heart behind some of this stuff...


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

I don't understand why there should be any problem with the OP request. 

When I touch my husband, it's for him, not me. I'm happy to make him feel good by doing what he likes so he relaxes. No unpleasant surprises. Likewise, he does the same. 

He does not squeeze my butt like he wants because I don't like it. I don't handle him in ways that he does not like only in ways that he likes. 

It's the give and take with some compromises common in all relationships.


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## CharlotteMcdougall (Mar 15, 2014)

Catherine602 said:


> I don't understand why there should be any problem with the OP request.
> 
> When I touch my husband, it's for him, not me. I'm happy to make him feel good by doing what he likes so he relaxes. No unpleasant surprises. Likewise, he does the same.
> 
> ...


This is very true. I am not completely shutting down all butt slapping or squeezes. I just don't want it in public. 

I think that being mindful of boundaries is a sign of respect. 

If a spouse has rigid emotional or physical limits which are in conflict with his/her partners needs, they have to find a workable solution which makes both partners at least partly happy.


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## Hurtin_Still (Oct 3, 2011)

*Re: Re: Husband Slaps my Ass Too Much!*



justfabulous said:


> Oh, man, that actually makes me sad. You know, women do not realize they are being hurtful when they react that way- they really do not (speaking for myself at least). In the same way that guys can be kind of ignorant and insensitive to women in a multitude of ways... there are things women just don't understand about guys and their feelings often times too. Over time we figure these things out - for some of us it takes longer than others.
> 
> Maybe you need to let her know how that makes you feel inside. I bet she'd be surprised and perhaps become a little more sensitive and even more appreciative of the attention when she realizes there's actually a heart behind it. I guess a lot of times we think of guys as hound dogs... and we don't realize there is actually a lot of heart behind some of this stuff...


....oh ...believe me, I have told her that I feel rejected and hurt ...specifically when she verbally shoo's me off when I make those playful advances towards her (as with butt smacks, hugs with boob grabs, and even when my hand go up the BACK of her shirt to administer a back-rub-scratching ...which she normally likes).

.....the most painful factor in all this is that I'm a betrayed spouse ....she hurt me many years ago ...and I still proceed to try and exhibit playful-affection towards her. 

.....she just doesn't "get it" .....and it's further eroding my already destroyed ego ......

.....just another pile of crap to take to therapy.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Hurtin this is not R. Is she receptive when you initiate? Are you satisfied sexually other than the touching? If she is not then you have not R. she needs to atone if she really wants to R. If she is rejecting you that mean's she considers you her 2nd choice. 

What will stop her from cheating again. She gets the best of two worlds, she does not lose a place to live and someone to support her. She knows you will not leave. 

I don't know your story but what were the consequences of the betrayal? Forgiveness does not mean you accept being treated badly or you forget. The WS needs to atone by making things right, show they care about about how you feel, show that they love you and suffer along with you. Has she done that? 

You R with her but she did not with you. You can go back and do it right. If she she does not do all she needs to do then you may have to plan an exit strategy. If you stay for your kids, leave when they are old enough to understand. If it because you love her. Your love is not enough. It has to be reciprocated. Is it because you are afried of not finding someone else. Read some of the post D treads. You'll find someone, you just need to work on your picker.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

justfabulous said:


> Same over here! :smthumbup:


Congratulations!! It feels good to hear of another couple still hot for each other!!


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## MarriedManInHis40s (Mar 28, 2013)

over20 said:


> This is what I do not get. A husband and wife marry. A husband and wife have ALL rights to their spouses body.


What? No. This is simply not true, either legally or morally.

My wife is NOT into having her ass slapped AT ALL. So I don't slap her ass. (I don't need any explanations from her...without going into detail, she's seen a lot of stuff that most people have never seen and wouldn't want to). 

Doing stuff to your partner in public that you have been *explicitly* and *repeatedly* asked not to do is incredibly disrespectful. Not sure how anyone could see it any other way. :scratchhead:


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

Maybe it is because of the difference in a marriage or between couples.Dh and I are very sexual and close. I am extremely touchy and affectionate. I enjoy all the rubbing and slapping Dh does to my rear and body. I like his raw male desire. I don't find it offensive but exciting.

I am sorry, I did not mean to offend


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## MarriedManInHis40s (Mar 28, 2013)

over20 said:


> Maybe it is because of the difference in a marriage or between couples.Dh and I are very sexual and close. I am extremely touchy and affectionate. I enjoy all the rubbing and slapping Dh does to my rear and body. I like his raw male desire. I don't find it offensive but exciting.
> 
> I am sorry, I did not mean to offend


No offense taken. If you like your bottom slapped and your DH likes slapping your bottom, then enjoy! :smthumbup:

However, I firmly believe that spouses have the right to set boundaries in their marriage. (of course, if you set too many boundaries, your spouse might not stick around... you still have the right to set them).


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## DarkHoly (Dec 18, 2012)

Your life must be amazing to be whining about something like this. 

One day you'll wish he would do it one more time.


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## CharlotteMcdougall (Mar 15, 2014)

over20 said:


> Maybe it is because of the difference in a marriage or between couples.Dh and I are very sexual and close. I am extremely touchy and affectionate. I enjoy all the rubbing and slapping Dh does to my rear and body. I like his raw male desire. I don't find it offensive but exciting.
> 
> I am sorry, I did not mean to offend


Just because I don't enjoy having my butt slapped all the time, it doesn't mean that I am not sexual or affectionate. Also, being pursued and taken in the bedroom is very arousing to me. :smthumbup:

While I believe that there is a high level of implied consent when it comes to physical touch in a marriage, boundaries should be respected. 

Glad that I could clear that up. Thank you for the apology.


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## CharlotteMcdougall (Mar 15, 2014)

Catherine602 said:


> If I remember correctly, one person posting on this thread, wrote that his wife asked him repeatedly let her tie him up and dominate him. He told her no way. Yet, on this thread, he has been very critical of this ladies simple request that her husband refrain from publically slapping her butt in the context of a good sex life.
> 
> This poster is chronically unhappy with his wife because she won't do things he likes. He is rather dismissive of her and says unkind things. I wonder if she ever discusses this hypocrisy with him. It is likely that neither of them recognize it on a conscious level.
> 
> ...


Thanks for the very insightful post. I find it so interesting when people expect something from their partners that they are not willing to give. 

I appreciate the way you do not try to shame me for having boundaries. I will never be glad to be treated like a sex object in a public place. It doesn't make me sexless, a whiner, ungrateful etc etc etc. I eagerly soak up my husband's sexual attention, just not being groped in public.


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## CharlotteMcdougall (Mar 15, 2014)

Mrs. John Adams said:


> I have a large booty and my husband loves it...but there is a time and a place for everything. He would never slap my arse in public...and if he did it would piss me off.
> 
> There are ways to keep things exciting besides public displays..especially if you have asked him not to do it. I would not do something to my husband if he asked me not to...and I would expect him to treat me with respect and not do something I asked him not to do.
> 
> It has nothing to do with how sexual I am...because I am extremely sexual...it is a matter of respect. You asked your husband not to slap your arse in public...then he should refrain.


Exactly. My husband pays attention to me in other ways that don't make me feel cheap or embarrassed.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

DarkHoly said:


> Your life must be amazing to be whining about something like this.
> 
> One day you'll wish he would do it one more time.


All of the relationship books I've read, indicate that this early period in their marriage is very important. It is going very well. They are negotiating the little things that that will eventually accumulate into big things and color their relationship for the years to come.

From her post above, her husband cares about how she feels enough to stop the slapping. Sounds like they are likely to have a happy LTR. 

People invariably do things that annoy their partner without relizing it until they are told. . Couples who are willing to adjust and compromise will live more harmoniously. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

MarriedManInHis40s said:


> What? No. This is simply not true, either legally or morally.
> 
> My wife is NOT into having her ass slapped AT ALL. So I don't slap her ass. (I don't need any explanations from her...without going into detail, she's seen a lot of stuff that most people have never seen and wouldn't want to).
> 
> Doing stuff to your partner in public that you have been *explicitly* and *repeatedly* asked not to do is incredibly disrespectful. Not sure how anyone could see it any other way. :scratchhead:


This.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CharlotteMcdougall (Mar 15, 2014)

Catherine602 said:


> All of the relationship books I've read, indicate that this early period in their marriage is very important. It is going very well. They are negotiating the little things that that will eventually accumulate into big things and color their relationship for the years to come.
> 
> From her post above, her husband cares about how she feels enough to stop the slapping. Sounds like they are likely to have a happy LTR.
> 
> ...


Our first two years of marriage were very difficult. We had to recover emotionally from many events. Last year, our marriage started to improve greatly due to changes I made. I have learned to communicate more effectively when I am angry, as well as nurture my husband's need for emotional intimacy.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

CharlotteMcdougall said:


> Just because I don't enjoy having my butt slapped all the time, it doesn't mean that I am not sexual or affectionate. Also, being pursued and taken in the bedroom is very arousing to me. :smthumbup:
> 
> While I believe that there is a high level of implied consent when it comes to physical touch in a marriage, boundaries should be respected.
> 
> Glad that I could clear that up. Thank you for the apology.


I didn't apologize to you, I apologized to MarriedManinhis40's


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## Sportsfan7000 (Jan 21, 2014)

If a man is an a$$ man and his wife has a great butt it is like finally, after all the years of having to see nice butts and not touch, being free to slap, touch, pinch and otherwise enjoy it! I understand the public embarrassment thing and I try to keep my grouping to a minimum in public but sometimes I can't help it. I know it might be hard to understand but your husband sounds just like me and I absolutely love touching my wife all the time, particularly her butt. I also adore that she has never, not once, asked me to not touch her. Be as gentle with your boundaries as you can for your poor husbands sake. It would be torture to have a hot wife that you can’t touch all the time! Overall as far as problems go I think you have a good one.


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## CharlotteMcdougall (Mar 15, 2014)

Sportsfan7000 said:


> If a man is an a$$ man and his wife has a great butt it is like finally, after all the years of having to see nice butts and not touch, being free to slap, touch, pinch and otherwise enjoy it! I understand the public embarrassment thing and I try to keep my grouping to a minimum in public but sometimes I can't help it. I know it might be hard to understand but your husband sounds just like me and I absolutely love touching my wife all the time, particularly her butt. I also adore that she has never, not once, asked me to not touch her. Be as gentle with your boundaries as you can for your poor husbands sake. It would be torture to have a hot wife that you can’t touch all the time! Overall as far as problems go I think you have a good one.


:smthumbup: Thanks for giving me your perspective as an ass man. 

I agree that my boundaries need to be gentle. 

It is just difficult as I have learned to protect myself due to past traumas.


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## CharlotteMcdougall (Mar 15, 2014)

over20 said:


> I didn't apologize to you, I apologized to MarriedManinhis40's


Sorry. I thought that you were apologizing to both of us.


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## Shane Smith (Feb 7, 2018)

@CuddleBug---You are just as nasty as they get---just some old-man pervert. Stop describing your old-man sex here or I'll report you. And by the way, if a woman says no, then you need to respect her wishes. It's not a "compliment," it's not "sexy," it's just creepy and abusive if you keep doing it against her wishes.


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