# I'm new! A lil about me..it will be long.



## csulk22 (Oct 3, 2017)

I have been dating my bf for 7 years and we have a 9 month old baby. In April we went to NYC together..we partied all weekend and he was still going hardcore. Fully trusting him..I allowed him to go out for a few drinks while I stayed at the hotel. I was up waiting for him and 3 rolled around so I called him and he said he was on his way. Still waiting I called him like 30 times and texted him with no reply. He finally showed up at 530am. The next day I was going thru CC statements and noticed a 250 charge from the night in New York. He wouldn't tell me what it was..supposedly he pasted out on the subway. I looked it up and found out it was a massage parlor and checked his gps. Decided on getting an erotic massage at 2am. I looked further into his history and noticed more of these Asian massage parlors and found out that they were prostitutes. Also visited hotels in the area in which we live. It tracked that he went there late night for about an hour and a half. Obv he's seeing these nasties here too. He has owed up to what he did, agreed to get help. I truly love him, but this is the most dirtiest you could do to someone that you claim to love. I've been seeing if maybe we could get past this, but it eats me alive.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

I am
Sorry. I personally think this kind of thing is an addiction and even if he wanted to stop it would be difficult.

I suspect your guy will do this kind of stuff from now on.

The only "good" thing about it is that there is likely little emotional exchange with these prostitutes.
Still disgusting, still deplorable.

I suggest seeing an attorney and giving stern consequences. A post nup wouldn't be a bad idea. If he gets caught doing this again, you get everything, he gets nothing.


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

Get an STD test IMMEDIATELY


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## csulk22 (Oct 3, 2017)

Defiantly a sex addiction. He got an Std right after it happened. Karmas a ***** lol. Only thing I have to worry about is taking him to court for our son.


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## csulk22 (Oct 3, 2017)

I'm not quite sure if I want to wait for it to happen again. Given I think he's scared to venture out now that he caught something. Still love him but I'm just stuck cuz of our baby. I don't know where to start cuz I'm also dependent on him..Im a stay at home mom.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

csulk22 said:


> I'm not quite sure if I want to wait for it to happen again. Given I think he's scared to venture out now that he caught something. Still love him but I'm just stuck cuz of our baby. I don't know where to start cuz I'm also dependent on him..Im a stay at home mom.


What a horrible situation. Gross. I'm so sorry sweetheart. Do you have family that can take you and your son in? I would cut my losses. As much as divorce is a pain, I wish you could have the security of some spousal support while you get on your feet.


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## csulk22 (Oct 3, 2017)

Yes I have family. And I know that they could help. Don't really care to put that on them..to take care of both me and my son until I get back on my feet.


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## csulk22 (Oct 3, 2017)

I'm not married to him..so it's an easy out. I would just fight for custodity


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## Jus260 (Mar 24, 2016)

Evinrude58 said:


> I am
> Sorry. I personally think this kind of thing is an addiction and even if he wanted to stop it would be difficult.
> 
> I suspect your guy will do this kind of stuff from now on.
> ...


A few months ago I came across a message board dedicated to discussing Korean massage parlors in the NY/NJ area. I really can't remember how I found this site because as long as porn is free, I'll never spend a dime on physical sex. 

It was fascinating to watch these losers talk about the best value and which girls to see. This is like a major thing there. Who has that much disposable income? 

There was one thread where a guy mentioned having unprotected sex with one of these hookers. She told him that because he was such a loyal customer, he didn't have to use a condom. He was bragging about it. Then a bunch of other people popped in saying she told them the same thing. 

Long story short, some other guy who frequents this woman said he was going to take her to a free clinic to get tested. He actually did it. The hooker got a lecture from that guy and the doctor. She was clean. 

The point is, this is serious business for these people, they spend a lot of money on this and they get a lot more than a typical hand job that we associate with these places.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*In a custody hearing, the mere introduction into evidence of his seeing prostitutes would, regarding custody, seal his doom!

Can you hear your attorney or even the presiding judge asking him, "And just how does seeing and spending family money on prostitutes help bolster your position to be the managing conservator for your child?"

All that you would hear from him is profound silence! *


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## csulk22 (Oct 3, 2017)

Yea it's big money. I've noticed these places every where and they are posted on the internet. Idk why more aren't busted..they throw themselves out there. Alot of the men that go are disgusting and to brag about having paid sex with a prostitute..lol. these people have forums rating the girls and the parlors..its insane.


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## csulk22 (Oct 3, 2017)

Would I need proof of what he did if I brought him to court?


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

csulk22 said:


> I'm not married to him..so it's an easy out. I would just fight for custodity


You need to cut this immature man loose. 

His values are not yours'. He knew he was cheating on you, yet he had no problem doing it.

Had you not 'caught' him and investigated further, he would have continued to do this.

He is a serial cheater and to be honest, just sleezy.


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## csulk22 (Oct 3, 2017)

He didn't care to get caught. He put me in charge of finances. He had no problem using his card..knowing I check statements. Made an excuse that he didn't know what he was doing and he was drunk. Well I'm quite sure a drunk person would not find there way around New York by themselves.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

csulk22 said:


> Would I need proof of what he did if I brought him to court?


_Res ipso loquitor_ ~ the credit card receipts "speak for themselves!"

In the hands of a competent attorney, it should be a slam dunk!


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

arbitrator said:


> *Res ipso loquitor ~ the credit card receipts "speak for themselves!"
> 
> In the hands of a competent attorney, it should be a slam dunk!*


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## jewels465 (Nov 20, 2014)

He went out by himself. First thing he does is cheat when you aren’t around, I would leave him! You don’t want your life to be like this. Every time he goes anywhere or does anything by himself you have to worry about whether or not he will cheat. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## csulk22 (Oct 3, 2017)

Yea idk how someone who claims to love another do something so deceitful. We were on vacation together..and he was ignoring my calls knowing I was at the hotel waiting. To make matters worse I seen the texts he exchanged to his friend. That it was so funny that he purposely ignored me and didn't get back till morning. I was furious and traveling back to CT all he wanted to do was have sex to make up.


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## csulk22 (Oct 3, 2017)

I worry alot he gave me access to his GPS which he using all the time. So hopefully he hasnt learned how to edit the places that were visited.


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

If you are planning to stay with him you must first offer up real time consequences for his actions. If you dont it will happen again.


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## csulk22 (Oct 3, 2017)

Oh I did lol. Withheld sex, he gave me access to his gps, emails, and phone whenever I feel the need to look. Has also transferred to a diff department cuz he was working out of town once in a while and I think that's when it started. He is willing to suffer the consequences, which I'm surprised. In the past he would get defensive, blame it on me, and fill my head with bs.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

csulk22 said:


> Oh I did lol. Withheld sex, he gave me access to his gps, emails, and phone whenever I feel the need to look. Has also transferred to a diff department cuz he was working out of town once in a while and I think that's when it started. He is willing to suffer the consequences, which I'm surprised. In the past he would get defensive, blame it on me, and fill my head with bs.


When you say in the past he would get defensive, it sounds like his fidelity has come up before.

You must have known in your gut that something was way off, right?

Now do you want to continue with him knowing that he knew all along what he was doing to you while you were trying to trust him out of love for him? He used your love for him against you to cheat on you. I mean, wow. Do you see how cruel that was?


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## csulk22 (Oct 3, 2017)

Yes I do..feel I've been played with for years. With putting **** in my head and doing whatever he felt like. It flew past my head, maybe just wanted to hear what I wanted to where everything is okay but it never was. He has a way of charming and sucking me in just by what he says and his actions tell differently.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

This is the mouth-breather you posted about on SI. Apparently, he's got YEARS of history cheating on you and going to massage parlors.

Rather than cut your losses and rid yourself of this loser, it sounds as though you're considering taking the "he's a Sex Addict so I owe it to him to stay and help him recover" cop-out route. Don't waste your time.

Boot his worthless ass out.


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## Broken_in_Brooklyn (Feb 21, 2013)

csulk22 said:


> Would I need proof of what he did if I brought him to court?


You are not married right? What are you suing him for?


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## csulk22 (Oct 3, 2017)

I am staying cuz I'm a stay at home mom, completely dependent on him. Looking for a job, childcare, want to make sure I can take care of my son. I do like that he has agreed to therapy, but I'm not one bit sorry or gonna blame it on some disorder to look past everything. The way he has done things is not an excuse for anything.


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