# Life shifts, marriage changes after children?



## LillyoftheValley (May 18, 2012)

I have been married for 11 years going on to 12, and we have a five year old. The first 7 years of our marriage we were students, so we were like roommate lovers, so to speak. However, when real life set in with baby and work, I progressively witnessed my husband turn self-absorbed, and arrogant. I like him when he is in a good mood, but his good mood comes only when everything is quiet and perfect around the house. Not exactly the most dynamic or most light spirited of personalities. I am an energizer bunny, and he is not like me, we are sort of opposites. This really ails me in general, but as I talk to more women in my culture--they are ALL like that. So that's my life situation, and it took me a while to even figure out and later to admit that this describes my marriage accurately, unfortunately.

My question is, is this an acceptable/familiar situation? Am I alone in this, that my husband changed, and to some extent, I don't like him that much anymore.


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

Only you can answer if it is acceptable. People both husbands and wives change when children come in, it's called growing up, I believe your husband would say you changed too and you may not like all of his observations.....my dh and I had a similar discussion recently it was very eye opening, it was god though. But in any case, maybe he doesnt realize how negative and self absorbed he is being and it's time for a deep discussion, and not one where you just nag him, but one where you express deep feeling, ask questions, provide examples and ask how you can improve for him as well. Too often we expect our spouses to o ALL the vending without asking them how we hav contributed to the situation, or how we can contribute to making it better.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LillyoftheValley (May 18, 2012)

Thank you.


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