# Bleh, why can't things just be perfect?



## Nicbrownn80 (Mar 20, 2011)

In the last few months me and my wife were really trying a lot of new things in the bedroom. Mostly, taking out all the TV's and not doing anything besides having sex or sleeping in our bedroom.

What I have notices is that 9/10 times this is what happens:
I start by kissing her, fallowed by touching her body. That usually leads to me giving her oral sex, or in a rare case me playing with her both leading to sex. Notice, she does not do anything for me as foreplay ( I can see how sometimes going down on a gorgeous women can be considered foreplay for a guy ). We have sex around 5/6 times a week. 

I asked her to go on top, go down on me, something to make it a little different. She told me she was tired and wants me to go on top. So I said ok, how about durring the week we do it normally and weekends we only do it any other way. She did NOT want to agree. Well being married for a while now I can easy find out why she doesn't want to do something.

Besides being tired durring the week, she hates doing it any other way since she knows that the "normal" way she can always cum and have a perfect (10/10) BIG O, while going on top or w/e she knows that it will not be as good, MAYBE a 6/10 .... I told her try a few times in other ways and you will learn to cum from them, but she's like why ?!?! I am happy like this.

What should I do?
PS: I tried to make her cum how she likes then change into something I like but for some reason she has pain after she cums if I don't get out of her soon.


----------



## notaname (Feb 4, 2011)

If she is not participating in foreplay but more just letting you touch her it could be low drive or that she isn't being stoked into wanting.

For me, there is a huge difference in my response depending on how sex is initiated by my H. I really can't even control it. I do not respond well to soft/cuddley/gentle foreplay. It doesn't ignite the flame.

What does it for me and makes me get all grabby and moany and wanting is when I get pounced on. I love being wrestled around and playfully mauled on the neck. I quickly go from giggles to moaning and pulling and tugging.

Try some different approaches to sex. Try being more playful and aggressive. Bounce her around or pick her up and put her against the wall or on the floor (set up a blanket first).

I also respond well to being told what to do rather than asked. Like "take off your shirt" in a low, sexy voice with a confident eye waggle works well. 

It might be that she does not see sex as a journey, but rather as a destination. See if you can get a dialogue going about how you want your sexual experiences to be about taking time to pleasure eachother and explore eachother. She needs to realize that it isn't just about ejaculating for you...you need to have your body pleasured and explored.

ETA: I have actually had to force myself to pay more attention to kissing and loving on H during foreplay. It has always been about getting me ready. I had to *learn* that it was hot and important for him to be pleasured during foreplay, too. I didn't just magically know that. Luckily, reading smut taught me that. LOL


----------



## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Look into "tantric sex" and see if you can get her to get into it with you.


----------

