# The day my world ended...



## TimesOfChange (Mar 20, 2013)

First of all, greetings to everyone! I've been reading these forums for quite some time and now i want to share my story.
My marrage of 5 years (no children) is soon over.
There are lots of details that could be told but i try to summ it up as good as i can.

Starting on August 28th 2012 the day when she told me that she cheated on me. Not because she wanted to, she was drunk and is supected something for a long time. Well or at least it was her version of the truth.
At work (she's a waitress) with a tourist, only one time. She's fell in Love with him, they had Sex and he left.
Well that rocked my world but as i will reveal later on this was not the truth, it was a big fat lie and i found out the truth months later. 
Anyways after she told me, i left and stayed at my parents for 2 weeks, noticing that she slowly changed. She became insulting, aggressive and disreseptfull towards me.
So i decided to return home to check what was going. It was a surprise comeback, she was at work and i found strange things.
Her panty in the bed, a piece of used toilet paper besides it and hairgel in the bathroom (i don't use hairgel).
I went to work, surprised her and confronted her but she had a good explenation for all of it and i bought it..again.
I've stayed 2 more weeks with her, it was unbearable. The constant stream of disrespect and hatred towards me struck me like a train. And i've kept hanging on to the tourist story even though i started to suspect that there was more to this than meets the eye. 
I kept visiting her at work (a restaurant+bar), the place where it all happened. One of her colleges was very nice to me and we've talked a lot, almost like friends.
Than douring those 2 weeks i've noticed the way she looked at him, talked with him, that all the time after work he was with us, comming along or miraculously finding us in a bar or disco near by. 
But i kept thinking, it wass a tourist and that guy looks like ****, how can woman touch such a man and for sure my wife would never even consider this man....well so i kept ignoring. 
Though my heart sounded an alarm, i choose to ignore it.

One night it escalated. We've been out dancing, that guy was with us again. We went upstairs, she told me to stay (she forgot something downstairs) and wait.
After a min i had a bad feeling went downstairs and caught them dancing with strange look on their faces again.
i grabbed the guy and threw him against the wall. 
She ran away, made a scene, i ran after her and found her outside 30 min later.
I had to apologize to him she was very upset about his wellbeing. We went home and it escalated so i threw her out of our home.
I was so done i calledher mother and told her what happened cause i fellt that i've had lost controll over the situation and i needed help.
Then it started raining and i started searching for her. i found her at the side of the road sitting with all her stuff not far from our home.
I took her back home. She yelled and screamed at me, told me that she hates me...i've just brought her back and she hates me.
Than she told me after that evening MY last chance is over and that she want to divorce.

She wanted me to leave and i wanted to leave, i wanted to go far away (later on, 5 moths later i've realized that i only ran away from myself).
So i planned to visit her mother and my friends, who life about 3000 km away, stupid idea but at first it soundet good.

But before i left i've noticed changes, changes considering her body. her breast became bigger, she ut up weight. So i brought her a pregnancy test before and guess what it was positive.
The day i found out she was pregnant i left, and flew to her mother.
And to make the story shorter i cut to the chase. She came after meand we met again at her mothers and i found the truth.

She was cheating on me 3 months June to August with her college, after work in his car without any protection. The child was his but she aported it and later on she blamed me for aporting it.
When i left for my parents, he was already sleeping in my bed and once i was gone at her mother..go figure.At his place and my place...
At first in jannuary she wanted to get back to me but than i became a pain in her arse. She wanted me to behave as if nothing had happened.
I couldn't. So she told me that she wants to be again with him, she wants to find out why she so attracted to this man, she told me it is about Sex and/or Love well she does not know...

Once we've been back she made me leave our home and took keys from me. Well i had to leave, i was disgusted to sleepin my bed and i was powerless cause douring all theses moths through stress i made mistaked and lost almost all my money at work and my bussines broke down.
And now i'm at my parents with all my stuff, waiting for the divorce. 
I was so blind and in denial for so long, i cant believe it. 
Well there are a few details missing but than it would become a rlylong post...
I'm trying to move on now, showing her that i'm not her plan B..well at least i try. 
But i've noticed once i've started to brake all contact she was very "surprised", so i think i'm on the right trek. I don't want her back, i just want to move on.


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

Good riddance!


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

Dark on her.
Try tour best to move on.
She's not who she portrayed to be.


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## verpin zal (Feb 23, 2013)

Expose far and wide. (that's the only good thing that has the word "ex" in it around here.)

Destroy them both.


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

So is she pregnant now or not? You need to hasten the divorce before she presents you with a mouth to feed for the next 18 years.


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## TimesOfChange (Mar 20, 2013)

She aborted it. Well a detail to the pregnancy, first of all she told me it was his but than later on she told me that i could have been from me... Don't ask me why, she kept changing and adding to the story all the time.
I had to get the truth piece by piece and i think there is still a lot i dont know.


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

Exit.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

I'd call him up and tell him she was pregnant with his kid and that she aborted it.

And I'd file for divorce immediately, she's an awful awful woman and not worthy of being married.

Do you own the house, if so move back in.

If not, then stop paying rent and bills. Cut her off financially.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

You are well out of that. You will never know the real truth because she's not going to tell you.

Don't look back.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Oh, and I'd be posting him on cheateville.com.

There would be other things I'd be doing to him too. Your wide had her bf tag along when you two went out. Frankly that's very sick.

I'd be calling the boss at their work and exposing there, along with to family and friends.

What you wife has chosen to do it evil and trashy,


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## DaddyLongShanks (Nov 6, 2012)

TimesOfChange said:


> First of all, greetings to everyone! I've been reading these forums for quite some time and now i want to share my story.
> My marrage of 5 years (no children) is soon over.
> There are lots of details that could be told but i try to summ it up as good as i can.
> 
> ...


Isn't it funny how you get cheated on and you get abused and hated for being cheated on? It would not have made any sense to me unless I went through it myself. Yes, the human mind has a way of rationalizing things, in a lier and decievers mind they will make untrue things true so that it can rationalize what they are doing.

She may snap out of it, but it's a low rate of success. Your best chance would be for cutting her off completely, and allowing the other man to support her and for the relationship to take it's natural course.

Kindest regards and have a great week.


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## TimesOfChange (Mar 20, 2013)

Once i was back i confronted him, in front of all the people at work. He knew about the baby but he did not have the balls to pay for the abortion, my wife had to pay for it (400 Euros).
And he had all kinds of stupid excuses for it...
But tha was not first time we've talked. After that evening in that disco, at the next day i went to the restaurant and grabbed him. I told him to keep his hands away from my wife, i asked him for his word of honour and he gave it to me. 
What a fool i have been. And no the home is not ours and at least i made her pay, for all.
And i also took already a part of her money with me because there is the danger that the rest of it might suddenly disappeare without a trace...before the divorce.


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

You asked him for his word of honor.....You have got to be kidding me.

Get tested for STD's. Hope you have a good lawyer. She played you for an absolute fool. What a sad story.


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## gbonham77 (Feb 21, 2013)

dont be stupid by forgive cheating s**t


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## TimesOfChange (Mar 20, 2013)

Well, at this time i did not know that it was him. I suspectred it but i ignored it.
My mother told me that time that i should pretend to him that i know that is him, to bluff. I did not and that was a mistake, it would have saved me a lot of time and pain.

And yes, i let her take test it was negative but to make sure i also have/want to get tested ASAP.


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## CleanJerkSnatch (Jul 18, 2012)

She cheated on you, was impregnated by another man, she killed her own child who had no fault, she blames you for doing so, she shows no remorse, she has no regret, she hates you, she wants you gone and this is your ticket out, take it and go !!!!!!! You'll realize 10 years later you shouldn't have wasted so much time, should have moved faster, gone away quicker. Get out.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

Reject reject reject


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## PreRaphaelite (Dec 15, 2012)

CleanJerkSnatch said:


> She cheated on you, was impregnated by another man, she killed her own child who had no fault, she blames you for doing so, she shows no remorse, she has no regret, she hates you, she wants you gone and this is your ticket out, take it and go !!!!!!! You'll realize 10 years later you shouldn't have wasted so much time, should have moved faster, gone away quicker. Get out.


:iagree: This. Run away now, far away and don't look back.


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## TimesOfChange (Mar 20, 2013)

Well, i don't plan to stay. Being with my parents helps a lot. I've deleted my Skype, Facebook and E-mail. All that is left to be changed is my phonenumber, i've bought the new sim card today but i have to keep the old one till the divorce is done.

It was strange to so her react totally surprised when i told that i'ce changed all contact details. Than she started with, oh i'm sorry and so on...but that did not last long.
Seems like that she didn't expect me to have streinght to move on.
Her idea was to keep me as a friend :scratchhead:


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

no kids....... cut all ties and do not even comunicate with her tell her to talk to your lawyer if she needs something!

it sux but you will be WAY better off in the long run.


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## TimesOfChange (Mar 20, 2013)

Right now i'm glad we've had no kids, but the fact she's been pregnant from a nother man...
It's been now almost 7 months since i found out and the "full" story has been brought to light in January. 
She made me cope with a lie for months and once i finally felt better she gave me the next blow.
My family members ask me how i can stay so cool and i reply all the time that i don't even realize what's going on.
Sometimes it's like a bad dream, cause it's all feels so unreal. But every time i go into the next room and see all my stuff there in the corner i recal that i'm not here for a visit...
And sometimes the pain strikes me so hard without a warning and i feel as if i found out just moments ago. 

I use the opportunity since this thread is fresh to give a few more details about me and her. I'm 30 she's 26 and her new Love is 34. The guy is totally different from me in every way, not in a good but in a bad fashion.
His last girlfriend was 16 years of age and he seems to have a lot of debt money wise. And regarding his/their sexual interest i can only guess by the porn i've found on my home pc. ( I was wise enough to set up a recording software before i've left...)


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

Run Forest run!


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Run like h3ll and don't look back,


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## TimesOfChange (Mar 20, 2013)

Oh, i am runnning, i would be stupid if i wouldn't :scratchhead:.
But a detail adding to the sorry, i have lost all my friends and her family started to act really strange in the end.

Why, cultural differences. I told a "relative" my story, she had great understanding for it. Later after they found out that i've told her hell broke loose. Why? Because they have been afraid she would start telling others and that their family honor is in danger and to makes things worse they started thinkin that i have an interest in that woman.
In the end they made me shut up, treated me like a cheater and demanded from me to delete all my contact info (mail, skype etc. etc.), cause they found out that i gave her my FB ID, my wife never got that treatement.
She kept writing with her Lover on FB. I've deleted and blocked him but they found a way around it, he made a new account and posed as one of her girlfirends.
But no on really cared.


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## Headspin (May 13, 2012)

TimesOfChange said:


> .............
> I took her back home. She yelled and screamed at me, told me that she hates me...i've just brought her back and she hates me.
> Than *she told me after that evening MY last chance is over* and that she want to divorce.........


:lol::lol::rofl:

With respect and bear with me as I know how serious all this is but this my friend is so so ..funny - very

you just couldn't make it up :scratchhead:


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

TOC

You were smart to walk away.

The two of them deserve each other.

And you deserve to be happy.

Good Luck

HM64


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

TimesOfChange said:


> Why, cultural differences. I told a "relative" my story, she had great understanding for it. Later after they found out that i've told her hell broke loose. Why? Because they have been afraid she would start telling others and that their family honor is in danger and to makes things worse they started thinkin that i have an interest in that woman.
> In the end they made me shut up, treated me like a cheater and demanded from me to delete all my contact info (mail, skype etc. etc.), cause they found out that i gave her my FB ID, my wife never got that treatement.
> She kept writing with her Lover on FB. I've deleted and blocked him but they found a way around it, he made a new account and posed as one of her girlfirends.
> But no on really cared.


Culture is a funny thing. Your family honor is at stake for talking to another woman "relative," but an abortion doesn't warrant the same anger.


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

TimesOfChange said:


> Oh, i am runnning, i would be stupid if i wouldn't :scratchhead:.
> But a detail adding to the sorry, i have lost all my friends and her family started to act really strange in the end.
> 
> Why, cultural differences. I told a "relative" my story, she had great understanding for it. Later after they found out that i've told her hell broke loose. Why? Because they have been afraid she would start telling others and that their family honor is in danger and to makes things worse they started thinkin that i have an interest in that woman.
> ...



What the...........?


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## DaddyLongShanks (Nov 6, 2012)

Headspin said:


> :lol::lol::rofl:
> 
> With respect and bear with me as I know how serious all this is but this my friend is so so ..funny - very
> 
> you just couldn't make it up :scratchhead:


We call it "spew" on divorcebusting.com.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

What country you from OP? Your English is decent but seems more taught than native.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

TimesOfChange said:


> Once i was back i confronted him, in front of all the people at work. He knew about the baby but he did not have the balls to pay for the abortion, my wife had to pay for it (400 Euros).
> And he had all kinds of stupid excuses for it...
> But tha was not first time we've talked. After that evening in that disco, at the next day i went to the restaurant and grabbed him. I told him to keep his hands away from my wife, i asked him for his word of honour and he gave it to me.
> What a fool i have been. And no the home is not ours and at least i made her pay, for all.
> And i also took already a part of her money with me because there is the danger that the rest of it might suddenly disappeare without a trace...before the divorce.


How did you possibly think a man that sleeps with a married woman has a word of honor. An adulterer has no honor, no moral code.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

She's a vampire.

Stay away.


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## TimesOfChange (Mar 20, 2013)

chapparal said:


> How did you possibly think a man that sleeps with a married woman has a word of honor. An adulterer has no honor, no moral code.


At this time, i did not know that it was him. I still was searching for the tourist that never existed.


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## TimesOfChange (Mar 20, 2013)

weightlifter said:


> What country you from OP? Your English is decent but seems more taught than native.


That's right, i'm not a native speaker. I'm from Austria. So please excuse my spelling mistakes.


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## TimesOfChange (Mar 20, 2013)

Headspin said:


> :lol::lol::rofl:
> 
> With respect and bear with me as I know how serious all this is but this my friend is so so ..funny - very
> 
> you just couldn't make it up :scratchhead:


:lol: I haven't lost my humour, yet. 
I was like "Wtf" after those words but the fear of loosing her and the unbelievable situation jammed my mind.
She had so much power over me and she knew it.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

Her family honor? They have no honor. Keep yours intact. Send any and all info you have to everyone in her family and then walk away.

The beauty of the situation in general is that you will learn a lesson form this and move on. You can now have a better life. She has learned nothing and will in all probability be miserable for the rest of her life, seeking solace in a slowly lower form of man as she ages.

Gut leben.


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

Did you not find the exit?


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## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

Learn the 180 and live it. It will help you detach, and make it easier to move on.

You're learning that she was not going to come around until you dropped her. Unfortunately it sounds like it's too late.


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## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

chapparal said:


> How did you possibly think a man that sleeps with a married woman has a word of honor. An adulterer has no honor, no moral code.


Read my recent thread for proof.


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## TimesOfChange (Mar 20, 2013)

Ovid said:


> Learn the 180 and live it. It will help you detach, and make it easier to move on.
> 
> You're learning that she was not going to come around until you dropped her. Unfortunately it sounds like it's too late.


Honestly, i don't care if it's to late. She had 6 months, her time is over.
I've started to apply the 180, about 3 weeks ago and it helps. 
I've stopped smoking and drinking, doing sports on a regular basis. 
Repairing my car and tuning it a bit helps me also a lot, not to think to much.
I also plan on starting up my business again but it will take time to get back to where i've been.


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## TimesOfChange (Mar 20, 2013)

AngryandUsed said:


> Did you not find the exit?


Could you be please more specific...


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## TimesOfChange (Mar 20, 2013)

Just had a talk with her. She had a deadline till today, i wanted her to change the rental contract/gas/electricity/radio and TV to her name.
She did nothing, saw no use for it. Well, since i was the guy doing all that for her, she does not know hoe and her new"prince" does not help her.
I threatened her, to cancel the Internetcontract and if she would not start to comply divorce before her Visa is through.

Her only response was that i'm mean to her lol :scratchhead: And when i told her that i don't love her any more she started to become soft. I told her that i'm no longer playing the game by her rules and ended the call.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Don't threaten anything. Do it. 

What is the thing about her Visa ?


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## TimesOfChange (Mar 20, 2013)

warlock07 said:


> Don't threaten anything. Do it.
> 
> What is the thing about her Visa ?


You're probably right, but call me an idiot, it's really hard for me. Because, i still love the woman she used to be but i hate and fear the monster she's become.
Anyways, after threatening her, she started to comply. 

The VISA, that's an other story. I (and my family) helped her, to come to this country. My wife and i met over the internet and after being together one year we married. That was almost 6 years ago. I cared for her VISA to be substained on a yearly basis.
And this year she will get a permanent/limitless residence card.
Great timing ey, now that she does not need me any longer, she jumps off the ship and boards a new one.
That's the story in short.


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## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

TimesOfChange said:


> You're probably right, but call me an idiot, it's really hard for me. Because, i still love the woman she used to be but i hate and fear the monster she's become.
> Anyways, after threatening her, she started to comply.
> 
> The VISA, that's an other story. I (and my family) helped her, to come to this country. My wife and i met over the internet and after being together one year we married. That was almost 6 years ago. I cared for her VISA to be substained on a yearly basis.
> ...


Do you think that it's a coincidence, the timing ?


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Where is she from?


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## TimesOfChange (Mar 20, 2013)

Malaise said:


> Do you think that it's a coincidence, the timing ?


About one thing, i'm ceratian for sure. She is aware of the fact (she told me many times), that she does not need me any longer. If it was planned or if it was just coindidence, i can only speculate. But looking at the facts and her being fully aware of the legal situation, i'd say, yes.


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## TimesOfChange (Mar 20, 2013)

warlock07 said:


> Where is she from?


She is from Georgia, near Russia.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

I was going to guess Russian. You're lucky she didn't talk you into sponsoring her "brother" too.


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## TimesOfChange (Mar 20, 2013)

sandc said:


> I was going to guess Russian. You're lucky she didn't talk you into sponsoring her "brother" too.


Haha, well her real brother and fam been a pain for many times. Why? Cause they can't handle money...not to speak from her friends.
I gave her mother money that was worth 3 to 5 months work in Georgia. In the end, she called me a devil...


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## TimesOfChange (Mar 20, 2013)

Well, threatening her helped alot. Rental contract, Tv, Gas/Electricity is now all on her Name.
She kept calling me a lot, askin me for help, how to to do this and that but i declined her inquirys.
It made me feel bad to refuse helping her but than again i reminded myself about what she did and it helped.
He can help her now but he seems not to , reality check, here i come :smthumbup: .


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## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

TimesOfChange said:


> Well, threatening her helped alot. Rental contract, Tv, Gas/Electricity is now all on her Name.
> She kept calling me a lot, askin me for help, how to to do this and that but i declined her inquirys.
> It made me feel bad to refuse helping her but than again i reminded myself about what she did and it helped.
> He can help her now but he seems not to , reality check, here i come :smthumbup: .


Reality can be a cold mother.

Ignore her


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

TOC

Remember one thing. She fired you.

Leave her on her own.

You are better off.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Update?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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