# Therapeutic Spanking?



## Noman (Oct 17, 2014)

Ladies, I'm curious if a spanking can be therapeutic after a particularly stressful time, when the action is over, but the tension is still tying you in knots & needs to be released. A stressful time could last days or weeks or years.

There have been plenty of times where I have been "unloaded on", not because I did anything wrong, but because I'm the husband & happened to be there. I figured out what was going one, and now I just let it wash over me without absorbing it.

After the tempest, the tension is released & within a few hours, maybe the next day, things are cheerful again.

Would a good brisk spanking have the same effect of releasing that tension?


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## AndStilliRise (Nov 9, 2020)

No. Go to therapy.


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## Noman (Oct 17, 2014)

AndStilliRise said:


> No. Go to therapy.


@AndStilliRise So I can pay $150 to let my wife blow off some steam?

Haha, I don't think so.

Actually, though, _suggesting_ going to therapy would certainly open the valve to release all that steam.

I may keep that in my kit for future use.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

I am against physical abuse/violence so no. Any man who attacks me violently gets reported to the police.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

WTF ??????


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

So, you want to be spanked?


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## Noman (Oct 17, 2014)

Blondilocks said:


> So, you want to be spanked?


@Blondilocks I don't have any steam to blow off, but, sure, why not?

Do you think I'd feel better afterward?


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Noman said:


> @Blondilocks I don't have any steam to blow off, but, sure, why not?
> 
> Do you think I'd feel better afterward?


It would take your mind off her dumping on you.


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## Noman (Oct 17, 2014)

Blondilocks said:


> It would take your mind off her dumping on you.


Awww, she wasn't dumping on me.

We just went through two of the biggest life changing events possible in the last week & she was a little high-strung from it all.

She's a pip, she is & a right fine gal. I can take her blowing off steam any day.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Noman said:


> Awww, she wasn't dumping on me.
> 
> We just went through two of the biggest life changing events possible in the last week & she was a little high-strung from it all.
> 
> She's a pip, she is & a right fine gal. I can take her blowing off steam any day.


Then why are you wanting to spank her? Oh, nevermind.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Is a riding crop involved? 😜


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## Noman (Oct 17, 2014)

Divinely Favored said:


> Is a riding crop involved? 😜


Coooooould be.

Don't they hurt? A lot?


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Noman said:


> Coooooould be.
> 
> Don't they hurt? A lot?


Dont know, i do not enjoy pain with my pleasure.
However i threaten my wife occasionally with turning her over my knee and spanking that azz when she acts up.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

This is the silliest thing I've ever heard...WHO exactly are you saying the unleashing of physical domination and pain on another human being will be "therapeutic" for...?? You mean for the one doing the spanking, right?? Because that's actually what spanking is - it's a person venting themselves on another because they are able to, and that is what releases tension, feeling powerful and venting your negative feelings on someone smaller or unable to defend themselves.

There is NOTHING beneficial for the person receiving the spanking, because it's about domination and trying to "erase" and override the feelings of the one who is being spanked.

Now I do know that some people derive sexual pleasure from spanking, but that's not what you mean, I'm guessing, because that cannot really be defined as "therapeutic". 

However, I am vehemently opposed to using physical violence against another person (especially a child)...and I DO NOT believe anyone derives any benefit from such a thing.


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

LisaDiane said:


> This is the silliest thing I've ever heard...WHO exactly are you saying the unleashing of physical domination and pain on another human being will be "therapeutic" for...?? You mean for the one doing the spanking, right?? Because that's actually what spanking is - it's a person venting themselves on another because they are able to, and that is what releases tension, feeling powerful and venting your negative feelings on someone smaller or unable to defend themselves.
> 
> *There is NOTHING beneficial for the person receiving the spanking, because it's about domination and trying to "erase" and override the feelings of the one who is being spanked.*
> 
> ...


Umm... This is not always the case. Probably usually not the case. I used to, and sometimes still do, spank my wife. For us, she couldn't let go of guilt for stuff she did when she was manic. So she asked me to spank her. She was self mutilating back then because she could t get rid of the guilt. So, that's what we did. She wanted to feel like she had "paid for it" so that she could finally let it go. She wasn't able to accept that i was able to forgive, forget, and move on. 

So, when she brought it up, i thought about it, and i did it. I spanked her. Painfully. I always used my bare hand so that i could make sure I wasn't doing her any real harm, but it still physically stung. Afterwords, she would finally stop punishing herself for whater perceived transgression that she thought made her a monster. 

I haven't spanked her (like that) in several years because she has not needed it. But back then, she would self destruct without it. So in our case, it was my wife that benefitted the most from it, the one getting spanked. 

She was punishing herself for stuff that was not important to me, so i did encourage her to go to a therapist. Eventually, she stopped needing it. But i still playfully spank her these days. But it's not the same kind of thing.


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

Noman said:


> Coooooould be.
> 
> Don't they hurt? A lot?


They sting. For me, masochism is a form of meditation. My wife views me as her caretaker, so she can't bring herself to whip me with a rod or crop. But my girlfriend on the other hand... Well, she is the same exact kind of masochist i am. Sharp pain puts us into a form of trance. We are the kind of people who can(and we both have) undergone surgeries without any form of anesthetic, without flinching. Because of the trance we go into. 

It's hard for me to get into that trance without something to focus on tuning out. Sharp stingy pain just happens to be the most convenient thing to focus on. 

It's how i passed special forces assessment and selection. I broke my foot in team week, and went into that trance. I finished a 26-30 mile ruck march(the actual distance was not disclosed to us) on a broken foot while carrying about 75 pounds on my back. I only weighed 118 pounds at the time. 

That's why I like the trance. It allows me to do things that i wouldn't otherwise be able to do. 

All this to say, there is a logical reason why some people want this kind of stuff.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Oooooo, somebody said the "T" word!!!!


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Well...... Some spanking, done correctly mind you, can be really good but usually is a warm up or addition to sex.

Now sex is a fantastic way to blow off steam so I highly recommend it but you will definitely want to learn about how to spank as foreplay or during sex and also if your lady might even consider it.

The type of spanking I'm talking about does no real damage but has a light sting and makes the cheeks a little rosy without coming close to leaving a mark.

In your case, you might just want to give her a massage and lots of loving affirmation which could include sex.


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## Noman (Oct 17, 2014)

Divinely Favored said:


> Dont know, i do not enjoy pain with my pleasure.
> However i threaten my wife occasionally with turning her over my knee and spanking that azz when she acts up.


@Divinely Favored have you ever followed through?



As'laDain said:


> @As'laDain That's why I like the trance. It allows me to do things that i wouldn't otherwise be able to do.
> 
> All this to say, there is a logical reason why some people want this kind of stuff.


Wow, that's an interesting story, thanks for sharing.

I've heard of people getting dental work done w/out anesthetic. I can't imagine that, although once or twice I've had anesthetic start to wear off towards the end of a procedure & just told the dentist to get it done. Maybe I should try going anesthetic free next time.



AndStilliRise said:


> Sounds like he's a troll.


Nope.



ConanHub said:


> Well...... Some spanking, done correctly mind you, can be really good but usually is a warm up or addition to sex.
> 
> Now sex is a fantastic way to blow off steam so I highly recommend it but you will definitely want to learn about how to spank as foreplay or during sex and also if your lady might even consider it.
> 
> ...


It's hard to give a massage when you're backed up in the corner holding a pitchfork.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Noman said:


> @Divinely Favored have you ever followed through?
> 
> 
> Wow, that's an interesting story, thanks for sharing.
> ...


I've spatted that ass a few times...usually when i say i am going to spank that ass, she smiles and says "I need it Daddy, I've been bad!" There are NO instruments of pain in our treasure chest...only pleasure.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Corner and pitchfork huh? Maybe a real spankin is called for!? 😂


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## AndStilliRise (Nov 9, 2020)

Noman said:


> @Divinely Favored have you ever followed through?
> 
> 
> Wow, that's an interesting story, thanks for sharing.
> ...


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## Noman (Oct 17, 2014)

ConanHub said:


> Corner and pitchfork huh? Maybe a real spankin is called for!? 😂


Oh, most definitely, but I'll obviously need a tranquilizer gun to get close enough, and I can't find a source for Environmentally Friendly Darts.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

As'laDain said:


> Umm... This is not always the case. Probably usually not the case. I used to, and sometimes still do, spank my wife. For us, she couldn't let go of guilt for stuff she did when she was manic. So she asked me to spank her. She was self mutilating back then because she could t get rid of the guilt. So, that's what we did. She wanted to feel like she had "paid for it" so that she could finally let it go. She wasn't able to accept that i was able to forgive, forget, and move on.
> 
> So, when she brought it up, i thought about it, and i did it. I spanked her. Painfully. I always used my bare hand so that i could make sure I wasn't doing her any real harm, but it still physically stung. Afterwords, she would finally stop punishing herself for whater perceived transgression that she thought made her a monster.
> 
> ...


Hmm...this sounds more like a type of self-harm, almost like girls who cut themselves or even starving themselves. It's a way of coping with self-loathing that is destructive...like you said, the discomfort/pain is soothing. I'm not sure if it's what the OP meant with his question, but it's a very interesting point, and I'm glad you posted about it!
It's very good that she resolved those issues enough with a therapist so that she doesn't need to self-harm to cope.


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## Noman (Oct 17, 2014)

LisaDiane said:


> I'm not sure if it's what the OP meant with his question..


@LisaDiane What @As'laDain described is not the exact, same circumstance I was thinking of, but it's the same general concept I was thinking of.

I wouldn't do it unless we'd talked about it ahead of time (in a time of calm & serenity, not "in the moment") & she agreed to try it.

I created this thread out of curiosity.

Now I'm a little curious about what As'laDain meant when he said *This is not always the case. Probably usually not the case.*

I assume he was referring to your statement: *There is NOTHING beneficial for the person receiving the spanking, *

If he's correct I would expect to see more posts agreeing with him.

I've read a few accounts of women who like to be spanked discussing the emotional aspects of being spanked and "aftercare" for the affected area, which would indicate a pretty good spanking. My impression was they were getting some sort of 'release' from being spanked.

Maybe I should post this on FetLife.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Noman said:


> @LisaDiane What @As'laDain described is not the exact, same circumstance I was thinking of, but it's the same general concept I was thinking of.
> 
> I wouldn't do it unless we'd talked about it ahead of time (in a time of calm & serenity, not "in the moment") & she agreed to try it.
> 
> ...


Watch some youtube videos from "Radha submissive wife happy life 2.0" she does spouse discipline and she talks about how it benefits her. Watch her videos and i think it may answer some of your questions.


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## Noman (Oct 17, 2014)

Divinely Favored said:


> Watch some youtube videos from "Radha submissive wife happy life 2.0" she does spouse discipline and she talks about how it benefits her. Watch her videos and i think it may answer some of your questions.


@Divinely Favored Dude, are you punking me?

I watched a few of her videos and she seems a little...out there, like she's injecting stuff into her body out there.

I'll have to watch some more, but so far I've seen her proclaiming herself a goddess & discussing her husband's desire to bring another woman home. Permanently, I think. And she's OK with it.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Noman said:


> @Divinely Favored Dude, are you punking me?
> 
> I watched a few of her videos and she seems a little...out there, like she's injecting stuff into her body out there.
> 
> I'll have to watch some more, but so far I've seen her proclaiming herself a goddess & discussing her husband's desire to bring another woman home. Permanently, I think. And she's OK with it.


Im talking about the discipline/spanking and how when she is being a brat or acting like an out of control teen...it resets her.

She is a submissive wife. She speaks of wives being a goddess for their hubbys. She states he treats her like a queen and she calls him her master, due to many times wives in the Bible called their husbands master. She talks of being submissive to the point of if he brought another home....last i heard he was not entertaining that thought.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Call me old fashioned but I'd rather my husband gave me a massage to help my stress.


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## Noman (Oct 17, 2014)

Divinely Favored said:


> Im talking about the discipline/spanking and how when she is being a brat or acting like an out of control teen...it resets her.
> 
> She is a submissive wife. She speaks of wives being a goddess for their hubbys. She states he treats her like a queen and she calls him her master, due to many times wives in the Bible called their husbands master. She talks of being submissive to the point of if he brought another home....last i heard he was not entertaining that thought.


@Divinely Favored Ha, ha, OK, I'll have to watch some more of her videos.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

first off 
I don’t believe in spanking children! Children should see their parents as safe people. Children are at a different mentality, are formulating how to problem solve, and cannot consent to the pain of spanking. 

but i know a woman that suffer from depression. he husband the odd time spanked her and they would make love after , how much the spanking was a change or a roll play i don't know 

Also, if you think about it, there’s a whole BDSM community out there, but that’s a different story altogether.i have no idea what goes on or not in that world and what pushes the spanker or the spanked person .

I know my response doesn’t really answer your question. I don’t know that there’s been any data gathered, but I have anecdotal evidence that suggests spanking might be more common than we all expect.or people on here want let on


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## Noman (Oct 17, 2014)

frusdil said:


> Call me old fashioned but I'd rather my husband gave me a massage to help my stress.


Hmmm, I'll bet my massages hurt as much as the average spanking.

I always gauge my victims' pain and dial the massage back _just a little _from "Ouch!"


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

I suppose if the person ask for it & it helped them, then great. 

I get that it's a fetish. To me it reads like violent abuse. If my husband or anybody else tried to spank me, I'd have more stress in my life because I would have to explain to the cops why I defended myself & then we'd go through the stress of a divorce. 

Different strokes for different folks. Do not try to force this view onto your wife / GF. You can ask about it. But if she's not fully on board & consenting, this is a non-starter. For you to take this action against her will is criminal domestic violence.


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

Yes. not just metaphorically but also physically


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

LisaDiane said:


> There is NOTHING beneficial for the person receiving the spanking, because it's about domination and trying to "erase" and override the feelings of the one who is being spanked.


I beg to differ. There is nothing beneficial for YOU. You can not speak for everybody.


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

As'laDain said:


> Umm... This is not always the case. Probably usually not the case. I used to, and sometimes still do, spank my wife. For us, she couldn't let go of guilt for stuff she did when she was manic. So she asked me to spank her. She was self mutilating back then because she could t get rid of the guilt. So, that's what we did. She wanted to feel like she had "paid for it" so that she could finally let it go. She wasn't able to accept that i was able to forgive, forget, and move on.
> 
> So, when she brought it up, i thought about it, and i did it. I spanked her. Painfully. I always used my bare hand so that i could make sure I wasn't doing her any real harm, but it still physically stung. Afterwords, she would finally stop punishing herself for whater perceived transgression that she thought made her a monster.
> 
> ...


I remember that, you both were talking about it years ago and about "maintance spanking"  

There is actually more and more research that BDSM can help with trauma healing .


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

Here is the link to PsychologyToday article about potentially positive effects of BDSM. :









BDSM as Harm Reduction


Research indicates that BDSM behavior can have positive mental health benefits.




www.psychologytoday.com




.

Quote:

"Let's finally move beyond outdated and arbitrarily socially constructed views of how people should behave, especially with their sexuality. Research shows that not only is BDSM not pathological, but it can also be used in a therapeutic sense, both in trauma healing and for some, as a harm reduction approach "


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

WandaJ said:


> Here is the link to PsychologyToday article about potentially positive effects of BDSM. :
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I'm all for this within monogamy of course.😉

My Mrs. Is not. The most she goes for is the occasional spanking and light domination. She is submissive and really enjoys regular and tender attention but nothing scratches her itch like the occasional masculine domination in the bedroom.

I can see where this could be therapeutic. Letting go of control, not being responsible or having to make decisions or be in control. The reverse is true as well. Being able to make decisions, be in control and be responsible with a submissive partner in a safe environment.

Very thought provoking @WandaJ . 😊


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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

Divinely Favored said:


> I’m talking about the discipline/spanking and how when she is being a brat or acting like an out of control teen...it resets her.


I like this. ^ 🤤


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## Noman (Oct 17, 2014)

C.C. says ... said:


> I like this. ^ 🤤


@C.C. says ... You like it in theory, or reality?


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## Tony Conrad (Oct 7, 2013)

Divinely Favored said:


> Is a riding crop involved? 😜


A hand then paddle is better.


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## Tony Conrad (Oct 7, 2013)

LisaDiane said:


> Hmm...this sounds more like a type of self-harm, almost like girls who cut themselves or even starving themselves. It's a way of coping with self-loathing that is destructive...like you said, the discomfort/pain is soothing. I'm not sure if it's what the OP meant with his question, but it's a very interesting point, and I'm glad you posted about it!
> It's very good that she resolved those issues enough with a therapist so that she doesn't need to self-harm to cope.


It is nothing to do with self harm. Some people just like it. It doesn't mean they want harm.


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## Tony Conrad (Oct 7, 2013)

LisaDiane said:


> This is the silliest thing I've ever heard...WHO exactly are you saying the unleashing of physical domination and pain on another human being will be "therapeutic" for...?? You mean for the one doing the spanking, right?? Because that's actually what spanking is - it's a person venting themselves on another because they are able to, and that is what releases tension, feeling powerful and venting your negative feelings on someone smaller or unable to defend themselves.
> 
> There is NOTHING beneficial for the person receiving the spanking, because it's about domination and trying to "erase" and override the feelings of the one who is being spanked.
> 
> ...


It is not generally like that. It may be him who is asking about it for himself. If so it has to be his wife doing it. I would guess however if it is not in him already it may not have the desired affect. If it is for his wife yes that would be wrong unless she likes it.


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## Tony Conrad (Oct 7, 2013)

Noman said:


> @Divinely Favored Dude, are you punking me?
> 
> I watched a few of her videos and she seems a little...out there, like she's injecting stuff into her body out there.
> 
> I'll have to watch some more, but so far I've seen her proclaiming herself a goddess & discussing her husband's desire to bring another woman home. Permanently, I think. And she's OK with it.


Not good stuff and cannot be a good marriage as she claims with outher people coming into it.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Tony Conrad said:


> It is nothing to do with self harm. Some people just like it. It doesn't mean they want harm.





Tony Conrad said:


> It is not generally like that. It may be him who is asking about it for himself. If so it has to be his wife doing it. I would guess however if it is not in him already it may not have the desired affect. If it is for his wife yes that would be wrong unless she likes it.


I could not disagree with you more.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

"This thread needs slapping down. I mean, closing down" said Zombie Cat.

"Nipping a kitten on its tail is one thing, but that's the limit as far as I am concerned," he said.


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