# Update on why can't I hate him... I can now :)



## Blonddeee (Dec 17, 2008)

I thought everything would be done and over by now... we had court June 27th, but it turns out that just our lawyers went and didn't end up resolving anything. So now we have trial at the end of August all because he won't take my name off the mortgage... he wants me off the title, but still on the mortgage so I'd still be responsible if it's forclosed on-  so that's not going to happen since he's already had the gas turned off and a couple other bills haven't been paid and I've only been gone a few months.
Today he texted me that he was mad that I didn't tell him that the internet hadn't been changed to his name even though he called... I guess he thought it just paid itself the last few months... I thought he was just trying to stick me with another bill and had got internet through another company... but anyways... I was sooooooo tempted to write back- I'm so sorry sweetheart, is there another computer you can use to watch porn?? This must be awful for you... so sorry...  but I didn't... I still want to though...


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

I'm so sorry sweetheart, is there another computer you can use to watch porn?? 
_____________________________________
LOL !!!!!!!!


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Sometimes it's great to write out those thoughts, then hit delete. He doesn't sound very mature, and you don't want to lower yourself to his level. No title but all the debt? That's rather insulting to your intellect! Geez, how could anyone go for that?

Hang in there. Be strong and mature. Maybe he will finally get it and maybe not, but you will be much better off for extricating yourself from his life.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

wow good for you. he sounds like a real piece of work.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

Blonddeee said:


> he won't take my name off the mortgage... he wants me off the title, but still on the mortgage so I'd still be responsible if it's forclosed on-


he's some peice of work !!!


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## Blonddeee (Dec 17, 2008)

Yes- he is a piece of work... I'm glad I left, but its tough waiting for it to all be over with... I'll be so happy when this is my past and not something I still have to deal with. 
Thank you all for your support  It means so much and helps me get through this! 
Oh another funny thing... his lawyer made a typo in some paperwork... he meant to write Misc Personal, but he wrote Misc Personality... so now he wants half my personality... geesh... I know that he doesn't have one, but that doesn't mean he gets half of mine...it was pre-marital property


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

Blonddeee said:


> he wrote Misc Personality... so now he wants half my personality... geesh... I know that he doesn't have one, but that doesn't mean he gets half of mine...it was pre-marital property


LOL


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

ROTFLOL!!! I'm sorry, girl...but couldn't help it...

Your personality was pre-marital property?!? not a joint acquisition?!? LOL


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## 1nurse (Jan 21, 2009)

I was just sad and grief stricken when my ex left me. Now it's like "later loser". We all need time to let it sink in, think about things, heal and let it come full circle. That's why I love working out and hitting the speed or punching bag when I have to get out some extra aggression. But then I laugh when I think about the bleak future my ex has with some dumb bar skank and probably an "accidental" kid. :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

Some men really find pleasure in torturing and insulting their wives. Misc Personality had me rolling! Sounds like his lawyer is a real winner. My problems pale in comparison. *hugs*


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

Blonddeee said:


> Yes- he is a piece of work... I'm glad I left, but its tough waiting for it to all be over with... I'll be so happy when this is my past and not something I still have to deal with.
> Thank you all for your support  It means so much and helps me get through this!
> Oh another funny thing... his lawyer made a typo in some paperwork... he meant to write Misc Personal, but he wrote Misc Personality... so now he wants half my personality... geesh... I know that he doesn't have one, but that doesn't mean he gets half of mine...it was pre-marital property



I left my ex too, I just couldn't marry him. I knew in my heart he was a monster underneath and I was right.
I thank God I didn't marry him. He was a jerk and would have made my life hell until I filed for divorce and then do anything to make me suffer.
I know it's hard to understand why some people are like that, but they are. Maybe it's a emotional problem relating to their childhoods or something, but there are plenty of them out there.
You have to learn to develop your instincts and wisdom so you can avoid the jerks in the future.
I ended up marrying a pretty good guy. He isn't perfect but he treats me well and I can trust him with the important things.
Don't give up on love or men, just give up the losers, abusers and jerks.


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## 1nurse (Jan 21, 2009)

Good for you Preso. Not everyone has the good sense or self awareness to leave a potentially troubled relationship. In the end sounds like you made a smart decision. I think if anyone told me their SO was perfect I'd be wondering if there is some trouble there.


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

Preso, after reading your posts about your and your husband I'm envious. Sounds like you got a keeper.

I have learned the hard way that if someone's mother was treated disrespectfully, then their son will follow suit. The new guy I'm hanging with, his parents are educated, in love and respect each other. His grandparents celebrted their 65th wedding anniversary. This guy, I've known him for over a year andhe has always been a gentleman. No serious stuff happening here, I'm gonna be single for a while again.

Ther is something to be said for a man's parents.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

Veronica Jackson said:


> Preso, after reading your posts about your and your husband I'm envious. Sounds like you got a keeper.
> 
> I have learned the hard way that if someone's mother was treated disrespectfully, then their son will follow suit. The new guy I'm hanging with, his parents are educated, in love and respect each other. His grandparents celebrted their 65th wedding anniversary. This guy, I've known him for over a year andhe has always been a gentleman. No serious stuff happening here, I'm gonna be single for a while again.
> 
> Ther is something to be said for a man's parents.


My husband is not perfect.
Also is the fact he has an adult daughter who gave us hell the first years we were together as she is immature and has many unrealistic expectations.
Just so you know VJ, my husband is not close with his mother, he says she is a troublemaker and talks too much. She plays games with him and he often does not speak to her. My husband is no mommas boy.
He is very close with his father....and brother. He is a mans man, not a ladies man.

I was single a long time. I dated several guys between my 2 marriages, which were 30 years apart. The men I met were not worth marrying and I knew it and avoided it, which only helped me become stronger and more stable in my own life. 
I am a firm believer in that you can ask for anything that you also offer to someone in a relationship. In my single status, I never went long between BF's... 
but the BF's all seemed to have some major issue and I did not marry any of them. I would rather have stayed single than settled. I didn't go looking to marry and was quite content in my life when my husband showed up.


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

Ahhhh, after my last relationship of 8 yrs it took me 2 years before I even kissed someone and 5 years before I got married to another man. I know the single life all too well and look forward to it. I went very long between BF's and having a casual one now is completely out of the ordinary.

I like your idea of investigating them before you get into it with them.  You are very wise my friend.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

Just careful.... 
after all, I am responsible for my choices.


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## Blonddeee (Dec 17, 2008)

As of today- I'm divorced... it took 6 months... it feels great that it's finally over. He really should have taken my first offer... I started off willing to take half the debt, he keeps the house... after 6 months and who knows how much in lawyer bills for both of us... he's paying 70% of the debt and I'm paying 30%... and i get the awesome 46in flat screen tv we bought last year and we are selling the house- whatever... works for me...  I've been running around the office introducing myself as the new girl since I changed my name back ... I'm a loser... I know  happy loser though...


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

Blonddeee said:


> As of today- I'm divorced... it took 6 months... it feels great that it's finally over. He really should have taken my first offer... I started off willing to take half the debt, he keeps the house... after 6 months and who knows how much in lawyer bills for both of us... he's paying 70% of the debt and I'm paying 30%... and i get the awesome 46in flat screen tv we bought last year and we are selling the house- whatever... works for me...  I've been running around the office introducing myself as the new girl since I changed my name back ... I'm a loser... I know  happy loser though...



you lost 200 pounds, huh?

( a man):lol:


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## Blonddeee (Dec 17, 2008)

Ha ha... yes... I feel so much thinner now...


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## Blonddeee (Dec 17, 2008)

OMG- I just got a call from my lawyer that he signed the paperwork, but before his lawyer took it to the court he's going back on everything- seriously... if he doesn't stop this cr*p I'm going to move back in- you don't want to give me a divorce then FINE... we'll just be HAPPILY MARRIED FOREVER... Ahhhh... why does he want me to hate him so much, I've tried so hard to not have hateful feelings towards him, but he's making it so very difficult!!!


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## Blonddeee (Dec 17, 2008)

I would actually like to say something good about my ex-h... the guy I was recently dating for the last couple months was also seeing one of my best friends (not anymore), but anyways... got me thinking... my ex made a lot of mistakes and did bad things, but he never did those things intentionally with the purpose of hurting me... he had some addiction problems and he made some selfish choices, but all in all he's a really good person and he treated me very well for the most part. I guess I'm grateful for the good times I did have with him. I don't regret leaving, but I know that he's just being a jerk about this divorce thing and he's not a horrible person. I miss the friend I used to have in him and hopefully both he and I find happiness in the future with people better suited for us.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Hey, Blondie--did the divorce get finalized? I'm a bit confused! ;0


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## Blonddeee (Dec 17, 2008)

No- they canceled the trial docket thing-a-ma-jig since we had come to an agreement, he even signed the decree and I had signed it... his lawyer was going to go file it with the court and then said that my ex wasn't going to agree to the decree anymore... he pretty much changed his mind on everything we had agreed on... soooo I'm just waiting now... not sure how much longer it's going to take now. Very frustrating... I'm not sure why he's dragging it out, he hasn't made any effort to get me back or anything...so not really sure of his logic- more lawyer bills i guess...


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## recent_cloud (Apr 18, 2009)

he's not 'being a jerk in this divorce thing'

his attorney is protecting his client's interests

animosity is a waste of time and energy

but i know you don't want to hear that.


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## Blonddeee (Dec 17, 2008)

I guess we can agree to disagree

I was trying to say something nice- I come here to vent and get things out so I don't hold them in... which usually results in not saying nice things about my ex... I was just trying to say that I did have a lot of good times in the 6 years I was with him... that's all.


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## QuitaBee (Aug 11, 2009)

blonddeee said:


> yes- he is a piece of work... I'm glad i left, but its tough waiting for it to all be over with... I'll be so happy when this is my past and not something i still have to deal with.
> Thank you all for your support  it means so much and helps me get through this!
> Oh another funny thing... His lawyer made a typo in some paperwork... He meant to write misc personal, but he wrote misc personality... So now he wants half my personality... Geesh... I know that he doesn't have one, but that doesn't mean he gets half of mine...it was pre-marital property :d


lmao!!


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