# things went bad



## tkdan (Dec 2, 2008)

After four months of trying to work at our marriage my wife told me she does not want to work at it anymore. This came out because I had evidence in hand that she had never discontinued contact with her EA. She had been lying all this time, promising me that she had completely broke it off. I put a deposit down on an apartment for me and my oldest son to move into. I'm trying very hard not to dwell on everything. I realize I have got to move forward and take care of my health for the sake of the kids.


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## valium (Sep 22, 2008)

If she does not want to work at it you cannot force her unfortunately. I do think though you have made a positive step in getting an apartment for you and your son but it will take some adjustment once you have moved in. If you have other kids make sure you keep in contact with them etc and try and do things with them. It will hurt you every time you see her but it may make her realise what she has lost but in the meantime concentrate on yourself and the children and get your life back on track.

I hope you are ok

xx


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## tkdan (Dec 2, 2008)

I'm not doing well with things. Can't eat, can't sleep. She has no regards as to what this is doing to the children. She came to pick them up last night and stood there and watched me and to two younger ones holding each other and crying and it did not seem to phase her. We were supposed to see our marriage counsulor this morning so he can help us do this separation the best way for the kids and she said she is not going. This is not the person I've been with for fourteen years. I do not know this person. I worry that the kids will resent her one day. Our daughter is already showing signs of anger towards her. This is a sad, sad situation. My heart breaks for my kids everytime I think about it. Everyone keeps telling me I need to take care of myself for the kids sake and I'm trying. I cannot believe someone can be capable of being so hard hearted like she is being. I do not know how long I will be able to go on like this.


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## McGraw (Mar 2, 2009)

When someone you have spent a big part of your life with starts acting like a stranger, its the hardest thing to deal with. I think you are right, she is damaging her relationship with the children, and being very selfish. My children are also showing signs of distress since daddy left 12 days ago after being caught having an EA. He comes here every day, but doesnt even say much to them. I think you and your children are better off wout her, especially if she has no plans to change. Maybe it would be a good idea for her to stay away for a little, so everyone has a little time to heal and pick up the pieces of broken hearts. I personally feel my husband is doing more harm than good by coming here, because every time he leaves( to go to dads where hes talking w EA)it tears our hearts out and he shows no remorse. I know how you feel...and my heart goes out to you. Get counseling for you and the kids, she obviously isnt interested in changing, like my hubby. selfish people with no regard for their familys heartache. Stay strong...it cant last forever..the sun will shine on you again. Good luck friend.


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## tkdan (Dec 2, 2008)

Thanks, McGraw I'm going to see our counsulor alone this morning because I know he will help me get through this a little easier. I'm sorry to hear about your situation it sounds so familar. How sad for those that continue to have their hearts broken because of someone's selfishness.


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