# He doesn't seem interested



## Sharpcouple (Mar 4, 2013)

I don't know what else to do. Been married almost 3 years. Went from having sex every night to me having to ask him for sex. I feel pathetic having to ask my husband to have sex with me and most of the time I end up going to bed crying. When we do have sex I have to initiate it and then he seems to rush it. I feel like he does it just to shut me up. I try to talk to him about it and tell him what I need from him and he tells me I'm making it all about me. Or he ignores it all together. Just heartbroken and tired of trying.

Thanks for any help.


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

Sorry you are here, and going through such pain.

He has a point in saying you are making it all about you.

You are. He is struggling with something. Reminding him that he's not able to give you what he needs isn't solving the problem. Because it's not your problem, which is what he is saying.

It could be any number of things.
Medical
Depression
Resentment towards you
An affair
Lack of attraction
Not attracted to neediness or begging
Severe stress, financial or other
Fear of pregnancy

If you have let him know that you need more, then he knows. If he isn't stepping up, then he either cannot or does not want to.

It's not easy to find out which one it is, and it can take time and patience. But there is a reason. 

In the meantime, you can offer your "ear", do some looking around, and be patient. Hold out for true intimacy, let him set the pace. It's not you... it's him. Even if he has an issue with how you look or anything like that, it's still his problem if it's affecting your relationship. Because he needs to talk to you about it. When he's ready. I wish you luck,


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Sharpcouple said:


> I don't know what else to do. Been married almost 3 years. Went from having sex every night to me having to ask him for sex. I feel pathetic having to ask my husband to have sex with me and most of the time I end up going to bed crying. When we do have sex I have to initiate it and then he seems to rush it. I feel like he does it just to shut me up. I try to talk to him about it and tell him what I need from him and he tells me I'm making it all about me. Or he ignores it all together. Just heartbroken and tired of trying.
> 
> Thanks for any help.


Here is my answer to a thread about a *guy* with exactly the same problem....He was going to withhold affection from his wife go get her to have more sex....Can you see the lack of logic here?

My reply was:

Let me make a suggestion....Get a hammer, lay your penis on a board, and hit it really HARD.....

That will get you laid just about as much as withholding affection from your wife will.....

Or you can do what I did....Go on ebay and buy the book "The 5 love languages". and say Honey, I would love us to be closer, and some guy says this will help....Then take a week end and read it together....

The secret is, this book is probably no better or worse than a hundred others out there...What it is, is simple and thin....Not too long to remember the first page when you have finished the last....

What matters is that you both want things to get better. It is a conscious decision on both your parts....

How many times would you expect to get laid for 10 bucks? I can tell you right now my cost is down to few cents per....Thats what I call a good investment.....

PS, I retired the "flimsy excuse of the decade" trophy about a month before I read this book.....It was the most humongous BS excuse in history, and I show my trophy proudly....

Sorry to give you a cut and paste reply, but yours is REALLY a cut and paste problem....You and your husband are not fulfilling each others emotional needs, and this book will help....

Yes, I know you don't have a penis, it was written for a guy, but you get the picture....Try it.....


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