# I'm I right to drop the towel and move on????



## PracticalObserver (Aug 13, 2014)

Long story short...My WW and I have been married for 7 year, add 3 of dating adding to 10 years! We have a kid who is 2.5yrs old. She started a a EA/PA like 4.5 years ago. I discovered the PA 1 year ago. I confronted her and decided to do MC. We spent 10months in MC...I'm overseas since two months ago and she's at home with the kid, and on a hunch (someone blew the whistle) I hired a PI just to be sure and voila! Shes back at it again...I'm all spent on the emotional side. Since I was raised by a single mom I didn't want the same for my kid. I'm still having second doubts but already contacted a lawyer to set everything up... In the meanwhile all our conversations through tango, skype, whats app, you name it (remember i work overseas) she very thoughtful, caring, devoted and such... I'm thinking of blindsiding my STXW. Arrive one day before of what I'm supposed to and serve her the D papers.

Still kinda on the fence on the D matter...any advice??


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

PracticalObserver said:


> We have a kid who is 2.5yrs old. She started a a EA/PA like 4.5 years ago. I discovered the PA 1 year ago.


I assume you've taken a paternity test.


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## PracticalObserver (Aug 13, 2014)

SecondTime'Round said:


> I assume you've taken a paternity test.


Don't need to...He was an IVF pregnancy.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Have her served while you're still gone and go dark for at least a week. Don't wait until you're returning, unless that's just around the corner.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

PracticalObserver said:


> Don't need to...He was an IVF pregnancy.


Ah, ok.

To answer the original question, yes, divorce. This woman is not marriage material.


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## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

Do you think you can recover from her having an affair for 3.5 years? I would have a difficult time with it.


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## MachoMcCoy (Oct 20, 2014)

Uh...this is kind of awkward and I'm guessing of questionable timing...

...but you "throw in the towel", you don't drop it. Sorry, but if you're going to use a sports metaphore, you need to get it right.

But yes, throw it in. Hard. Dropping it makes you look weak.


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## PracticalObserver (Aug 13, 2014)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Have her served while you're still gone and go dark for at least a week. Don't wait until you're returning, unless that's just around the corner.


2 to 3 weeks tops!!! I think I can handle it...been handling the news of the PI for some time now(4weeks).


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

If you have absolute proof. Not something that can be explained away within reason. If you feel that you are done and over with this behavior. If you know cannot forgive and work to make it better.

Then, yes. Divorce her. Serve her paper as you walk in the door. Serving her when you are far away, might have an impact on your child, that you are not there to protect him from.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

MachoMcCoy said:


> Uh...this is kind of awkward and I'm guessing of questionable timing...
> 
> ...but you "throw in the towel", you don't drop it. Sorry, but if you're going to use a sports metaphore, you need to get it right.
> 
> But yes, throw it in. Hard. Dropping it makes you look weak.


If you're going to drop something, you drop a bomb. If you're going to throw something in, it's the towel (a boxing metaphor). The thing is, dropping a bomb is what you do to win. Throwing in the towel is something you do to lose.


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## PracticalObserver (Aug 13, 2014)

WorkingOnMe said:


> If you're going to drop something, you drop a bomb. If you're going to throw something in, it's the towel (a boxing metaphor). The thing is, dropping a bomb is what you do to win. Throwing in the towel is something you do to lose.


Yeah, the metaphor, in a sense I'm winning a new life without the WW...but I'm still loosing the daily contact with my son. Regretfully do to my job I cannot have him living with me...so yes...it's not win - win...And In my life balance the D is listed as a lost...Learning experience thou but still it's stings.

Have to change a lot of thing to have the kind of contact I used to have with the kid. Plan to do so, it takes time.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

How much time to you spend away from your family due to work in a year?


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*I'd drop her like a chronic case of the jungle-rot! I know that you're greatly looking forward to bringing to an abrupt end of being victimized by all of this unfaithful crap of hers and moving on to something more meaningful in your life! Best of luck to you!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

PracticalObserver said:


> Long story short...My WW and I have been married for 7 year, add 3 of dating adding to 10 years! We have a kid who is 2.5yrs old. She started a a EA/PA like 4.5 years ago. I discovered the PA 1 year ago. I confronted her and decided to do MC. We spent 10months in MC...I'm overseas since two months ago and she's at home with the kid, and on a hunch (someone blew the whistle) I hired a PI just to be sure and voila! Shes back at it again...I'm all spent on the emotional side. Since I was raised by a single mom I didn't want the same for my kid. I'm still having second doubts but already contacted a lawyer to set everything up... In the meanwhile all our conversations through tango, skype, whats app, you name it (remember i work overseas) she very thoughtful, caring, devoted and such... I'm thinking of blindsiding my STXW. Arrive one day before of what I'm supposed to and serve her the D papers.
> 
> Still kinda on the fence on the D matter...any advice??


I'd dump her. Also, you might want to DNA that kid.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

PracticalObserver said:


> Don't need to...He was an IVF pregnancy.


LOL... doesn't mean that she didn't arrange for someone else's sperm to be on standby.

Paranoid? Maybe. But stranger things have happened I'm sure.


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## PracticalObserver (Aug 13, 2014)

aine said:


> How much time to you spend away from your family due to work in a year?


I was working as an expat so the company moved me with the whole family. This last two months been just closing up...but, to answer your question, no more than a week.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

PracticalObserver,

Same POSOM or an entirely new scumbag?

I guess either way, considering the time lapse, I would say she is a serial cheater even if she just took up with the same turd again.

Reconciling with a serial traitor is insane IMO.....prepare everything you need and then smack her with D papers.


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