# I'm old. Help me learn the art of the text!



## Pamvhv (Apr 27, 2014)

Okay so I'm not old. But I've been in the same relationship for almost a decade.

I met a guy last night and gave him my number. He texted me a 'yo' (which irked me but whatever) to give me his number. 

Who texts next? 

Like I think he may be at the place I'm going to tonight. Do I text and ask if he's going to be there?

Do women do the texting at all or should men do it all.

I really have no idea what I'm doing getting back into the game.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Text him back saying "What up?" Yes just keep convo going. You're never to old to text. If my parents can text me videos and pics and random things, you most definitely can.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Pamvhv (Apr 27, 2014)

I texted and asked if he was going out to the place I'm going out to tonight and he said 'maybe'. So now I'm stuck.


----------



## Pictureless (May 21, 2013)

Pamvhv said:


> I texted and asked if he was going out to the place I'm going out to tonight and he said 'maybe'. So now I'm stuck.


How are you stuck?

Is "maybe" the kind of answer you will accept? 

Regardless of age, a person should communicate to others clearly. If a woman texted me an answer like that, I would probably ignore it and not take her seriously.

But that's just me. I don't like games or players.


----------



## Pamvhv (Apr 27, 2014)

Pictureless said:


> How are you stuck?
> 
> Is "maybe" the kind of answer you will accept?
> 
> ...


That's what I mean by stuck. I mean what do you say to that? I don't want to be like okay well hope to see you there!


----------



## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

I would respond to "yo" with "can you write full sentences, if not then sorry it's not going to work out"

This other thing about you asking if he'll be somewhere and him saying "maybe" has nothing to do with texting and everything to do with power and control and you are losing.

Stop asking questions. Whether it's text or any other form of communication. 

He's obviously the type who will run all over you given half a chance.


----------



## Pamvhv (Apr 27, 2014)

lenzi said:


> I would respond to "yo" with "can you write full sentences, if not then sorry it's not going to work out"
> 
> This other thing about you asking if he'll be somewhere and him saying "maybe" has nothing to do with texting and everything to do with power and control and you are losing.
> 
> ...


Good to know. See. I don't get this new-fangled interwebs flirting.


----------



## Miss Independent (Mar 24, 2014)

As someone who is obsessed with texting--technology. I wouldn't text a guy who answered 'maybe'. I agree he's playing games. And I'm sure that you're not into games so don't text him if he wants to text and ask you something let him. But don't text him any longer.


----------



## Pamvhv (Apr 27, 2014)

spinsterdurga said:


> As someone who is obsessed with texting--technology. I wouldn't text a guy who answered 'maybe'. I agree he's playing games. And I'm sure that you're not into games so don't text him if he wants to text and ask you something let him. But don't text him any longer.


SIGH. I think taking a cheater back is easier than trying to get out there again.


----------



## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

Pamvhv said:


> Good to know. See. I don't get this new-fangled interwebs flirting.


Ok but realize this has nothing to do with interwebs or internets or texting.


----------



## Miss Independent (Mar 24, 2014)

Pamvhv said:


> SIGH. I think taking a cheater back is easier than trying to get out there again.



No. There are good men out there. You just to not be in a hurry to find one. Date for fun and expect respect and maturity from you date if he doesn't have these qualities...NEXT. Don't settle for lack of manners and game playing.


----------



## Pamvhv (Apr 27, 2014)

lenzi said:


> Ok but realize this has nothing to do with interwebs or internets or texting.


Well, I'm used to face-to-face interactions. All this new stuff I didn't have to deal with.


----------



## movealong (Aug 9, 2013)

I have learned, recently, that texting a question is like dropping a chocolate bar in a swimming pool. It causes people to "clear out" until they know what it is. I have taken the tact of texting a comment such as "I am going to _________. It's going to be a good time."

The onus is then on the other person to let you know if they are interested and gives them an opportunity to beg off with an excuse if they are not interested. It also is not so ego deflating, lol! 

In other words, it says "Hey, I am going to have fun. I am letting you know because I am interested. But if you don't show up, I am still going to have fun." Without saying it so bluntly, it gets the message across.


----------



## movealong (Aug 9, 2013)

spinsterdurga said:


> No. There are good men out there. You just to not be in a hurry to find one. Date for fun and expect respect and maturity from you date if he doesn't have these qualities...NEXT. Don't settle for lack of manners and game playing.


QFT!!!!! :iagree:


----------



## Pamvhv (Apr 27, 2014)

movealong said:


> I have learned, recently, that texting a question is like dropping a chocolate bar in a swimming pool. It causes people to "clear out" until they know what it is. I have taken the tact of texting a comment such as "I am going to _________. It's going to be a good time."
> 
> The onus is then on the other person to let you know if they are interested and gives them an opportunity to beg off with an excuse if they are not interested. It also is not so ego deflating, lol!
> 
> In other words, it says "Hey, I am going to have fun. I am letting you know because I am interested. But if you don't show up, I am still going to have fun." Without saying it so bluntly, it gets the message across.



So basically I'm too passive. Got it.


----------



## movealong (Aug 9, 2013)

Pamvhv said:


> So basically I'm too passive. Got it.


I am learning all of this again, too. Passive gets run over, aggressive gets pushed away, calm confidence gets noticed.


----------



## 101Abn (Jan 15, 2014)

If I was you I wouldn't text him again.him texting you with the "yo" and "maybe" he sounds like he has the IQ of a cucumber and is talking to his street buddies.if he can't say he will be at the place if your going then he is not worth it.just picture having a conversation with him and his one word answers,it will be like pulling teeth to get a full sentence from him.I would move on if I was you.


----------



## Pamvhv (Apr 27, 2014)

101Abn said:


> If I was you I wouldn't text him again.him texting you with the "yo" and "maybe" he sounds like he has the IQ of a cucumber and is talking to his street buddies.if he can't say he will be at the place if your going then he is not worth it.just picture having a conversation with him and his one word answers,it will be like pulling teeth to get a full sentence from him.I would move on if I was you.


OMG see that's the thing. He is so smart. Seriously. We talked for HOURS last night.


----------



## Pamvhv (Apr 27, 2014)

Well actually HE talked for hours. I listened. Hmmmm


----------



## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

Pamvhv said:


> Well, I'm used to face-to-face interactions. All this new stuff I didn't have to deal with.


texting is just one form of communication when you're not face to face. Same thing can happen with the good old fashioned telephone.

He decides he wants to talk and he dominates the conversation. He pulls back and gives you one word at a time and you're begging for more.

He's making the rules and you are following them.


----------



## omgitselaine (Sep 5, 2013)

If a guy was interested he'd be texting and/or trying to call you. I'm glad that you had a nice , long conversation last night since it shows interest 😊

I personally would not text a guy if he were going to be somewhere later. If he wanted to see me ummmmm he'd be asking me where I was going to be. Just my humble opinion. Good luck !


----------



## Pamvhv (Apr 27, 2014)

Well he did come. But Pam was having a girl's night and my friend and I got a bit tipsy so he's probably not interested anymore ha.


----------

