# Parallel Parenting v. Co-Parenting



## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

So recently I've been reading about parallel parenting as an alternative to co-parenting plans. Several courts have adopted this approach for parents who've established they cannot cooperate with one another. Parallel parenting would give each parent autonomy over the child while the child was in that parent's custody and is supposed to help end the conflict between parents that are unable to get along during and after a divorce. There is virtually no direct communication between the parents, with both going through some third party, or neutral site. I was wondering if anyone here has tried this and if it really was a better alternative that helped the children. 
I see the benefits if you are left dealing with a crazy, irrational STBX who is bent on just hurting their former partner, but does it work?


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## LivingAgain (Jun 12, 2013)

I would think it may be confusing for the children if the rules of each parent are very different and/or conflicting.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

LA, I agree with your observation. The theory is that it is even more damaging to the children to have their parents in constant "war mode" with one another. This would end the bickering between parents about what is happening, or not happening at the other's house. When you have to deal with an irrational STBX it can make part of life easier. I'm not saying I think its great, but it might end some fighting.


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## Ceegee (Sep 9, 2012)

I've essentially been parallel parenting with a high-conflict XW for nearly a year. It has been working for us. We do not speak but will use ourfamilywizard.com for any necessary communication. 

My goal is to eventually get to a healthier place with the X for the kids sake. Hopefully the current arrangement and her continued therapy will get us there. We also have written in our decree that we have to hire a child facilitator to coach us and speak on behalf of the kids.


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