# What's up with Marriage Builder Forum?



## sadcalifornian (Sep 18, 2011)

I don't know it's ok to talk about another competing forum. If I am out of line, please let me know.

I recently posted some responses in Marriage Builder Forum. I thought I was fair and helpful with my advices. But, the moderators and long time posters there seem extremely set on sticking to Dr. Harley's program to the letter. Any deviation seems to be met with hysterical criticism and the attitude of either their way or no way. 

These people seem almost a religious fanatic of sort. Dr. Harley being their Messiah and MB Principle being their Bible? It was scary posting there.

Do you have any experience like mine?


----------



## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

No but I do like His Needs Her Needs. I think it is essential.


----------



## elph (Apr 2, 2011)

I know what your saying. I posted there for a. It and while dr. Harley's advice is sound and works. The problem is his book doesn't cover everything and every instance. Sewell the issue is that there is no wiggle room. In a perfect world one would be able to do everything to the letter. But if it were a perfect world. One of us would be dealing with this crap. Some things we can't control. In cy case I couldn't get a IM. As well. The oils don't cover what to do when you have kids. These things make it extremely hard to do and the sacrifice is at the kids expense. 

So while Harley himself makes very sound principals. There has to be some sort of give. And the member should recognize that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## sadcalifornian (Sep 18, 2011)

elph said:


> I know what your saying. I posted there for a. It and while dr. Harley's advice is sound and works. The problem is his book doesn't cover everything and every instance. Sewell the issue is that there is no wiggle room. In a perfect world one would be able to do everything to the letter. But if it were a perfect world. One of us would be dealing with this crap. Some things we can't control. In cy case I couldn't get a IM. As well. The oils don't cover what to do when you have kids. These things make it extremely hard to do and the sacrifice is at the kids expense.
> 
> So while Harley himself makes very sound principals. There has to be some sort of give. And the member should recognize that.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I totally agree. I can see the sound rationale behind his principle, and it provides an excellent guideline as to how to approach the problem of infidelity. But, the forum zealots refuse to allow any customization of MB Principle for each different situation the poster is in. It's as if they reserve the right to deviate only to Dr. Harley himself. The only one who can modify the Bible is Jesus himself? I mean, seriously, when the poster does seek Dr. Harley's counsel paying the fee, he often does get advice which deviates somewhat from what their textbook says. So, Dr. Harley himself is willing to customize his principle to accomodate the uniqueness of each situation. 

It's the forum zealots who seem to refuse to let this happen in the forum setting. Sometimes, I wonder if they are afraid of any counter-example of MB Principle to be witnessed on their forum. If any deviation from MB Principle leads to success story, it would discount the effectiveness of MB principle? Is that why they are absolutely unwilling to accept any deviation? If it works, it's thanks to MB Principle. If it doesn't work, it's because the poster failed to follow the Principle to the letter or it never had the chance in the first place? What they do not want to see is the poster despite following non-MB Principle advices in their forum neverthless ends up with a sucess story? 

I just wonder.


----------



## oaksthorne (Mar 4, 2011)

sadcalifornian said:


> I totally agree. I can see the sound rationale behind his principle, and it provides an excellent guideline as to how to approach the problem of infidelity. But, the forum zealots refuse to allow any customization of MB Principle for each different situation the poster is in. It's as if they reserve the right to deviate only to Dr. Harley himself. The only one who can modify the Bible is Jesus himself? I mean, seriously, when the poster does seek Dr. Harley's counsel paying the fee, he often does get advice which deviates somewhat from what their textbook says. So, Dr. Harley himself is willing to customize his principle to accomodate the uniqueness of each situation.
> 
> It's the forum zealots who seem to refuse to let this happen in the forum setting. Sometimes, I wonder if they are afraid of any counter-example of MB Principle to be witnessed on their forum. If any deviation from MB Principle leads to success story, it would discount the effectiveness of MB principle? Is that why they are absolutely unwilling to accept any deviation? If it works, it's thanks to MB Principle. If it doesn't work, it's because the poster failed to follow the Principle to the letter or it never had the chance in the first place? What they do not want to see is the poster despite following non-MB Principle advices in their forum neverthless ends up with a sucess story?
> 
> I just wonder.


I have this book, don't really care for it. It's a bit too patriarchal for my tastes.


----------



## Steven Allen (Mar 4, 2015)

The program is a JOKE! One way only transparency, varying morality, encouragement of ultra paranoia and snooping, not to mention the time honored techniques of isolating your victim, uh, wife, and cutting her ties to the rest of the world then breaking her spirit to your will. Didn't the nazis try the same approach with marked success? The worst part is the exposure. NOT ALWAYS A GOOD IDEA. What gives someone the right to come into my life and tell me something like that? What if i didn't wanna know or i already knew, and just didn't consider my husband jerking off to a friend on the computer 2000 miles away to be cheating.


----------



## 2asdf2 (Jun 5, 2012)

Steven Allen said:


> The program is a JOKE! One way only transparency, varying morality, encouragement of ultra paranoia and snooping, not to mention the time honored techniques of isolating your victim, uh, wife, and cutting her ties to the rest of the world then breaking her spirit to your will. Didn't the nazis try the same approach with marked success? The worst part is the exposure. NOT ALWAYS A GOOD IDEA. What gives someone the right to come into my life and tell me something like that? What if i didn't wanna know or i already knew, and just didn't consider my husband jerking off to a friend on the computer 2000 miles away to be cheating.


Check this out! 

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/22573-how-catch-cheating-spouse.html


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Steven Allen said:


> The program is a JOKE! One way only transparency, varying morality, encouragement of ultra paranoia and snooping, not to mention the time honored techniques of isolating your victim, uh, wife, and cutting her ties to the rest of the world then breaking her spirit to your will. Didn't the nazis try the same approach with marked success? The worst part is the exposure. NOT ALWAYS A GOOD IDEA. What gives someone the right to come into my life and tell me something like that? What if i didn't wanna know or i already knew, and just didn't consider my husband jerking off to a friend on the computer 2000 miles away to be cheating.


Hi there!


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Steven Allen said:


> The program is a JOKE! One way only transparency, varying morality, encouragement of ultra paranoia and snooping, not to mention the time honored techniques of isolating your victim, uh, wife, and cutting her ties to the rest of the world then breaking her spirit to your will. Didn't the nazis try the same approach with marked success? The worst part is the exposure. NOT ALWAYS A GOOD IDEA. What gives someone the right to come into my life and tell me something like that? What if i didn't wanna know or i already knew, and just didn't consider my husband jerking off to a friend on the computer 2000 miles away to be cheating.


Well if you think all that is wrong, why on earth are you on TAM?


----------



## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

Steven Allen said:


> The program is a JOKE! One way only transparency, varying morality, encouragement of ultra paranoia and snooping, not to mention the time honored techniques of isolating your victim, uh, wife, and cutting her ties to the rest of the world then breaking her spirit to your will. Didn't the nazis try the same approach with marked success? The worst part is the exposure. NOT ALWAYS A GOOD IDEA. What gives someone the right to come into my life and tell me something like that? What if i didn't wanna know or i already knew, and just didn't consider my husband jerking off to a friend on the computer 2000 miles away to be cheating.


Oh, you're going to love it here. This is the fire to the MB frying pan for that stuff.


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Nucking Futs said:


> Oh, you're going to love it here. This is the fire to the MB frying pan for that stuff.


I have a feeling he's been here before.

A couple of times, maybe.


----------



## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

When it comes to zombie threads, don't be stingy with your bullets.


----------



## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

I'm not a big fan of "His Needs, Her Needs" either, oaksthorne. I really wanted to like this book, but I don't. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

happy as a clam said:


> I'm not a big fan of "His Needs, Her Needs" either, oaksthorne. I really wanted to like this book, but I don't.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Happy I'm going to expose you to your hubby that you are flirting with zombie threads.


----------



## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

GusPolinski said:


> I have a feeling he's been here before.
> 
> A couple of times, maybe.


Cincy/kev?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

pidge70 said:


> Cincy/kev?


Seems likely.


----------



## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)




----------

