# She cuckolded me and confessed, but now she's intimate with her girlfriend?



## Thrown Away (Oct 24, 2013)

Hi folks! My wife and I are in our late 20's. Long story short. College sweethearts in a classic relationship, we got married a few years back but she cheated on me with a married groomsman last year. She confessed with intense tears and said something like that would never happen again, and I believed her.

Now a year later, one of her bridesmaids who is also married but bisexual has been smoking weed with her and having her over for slumber parties. I don't think the husband is included in their bed, but she is very open about the fact that the 2 beautiful ladies enjoy just cuddling and making out. 

In her words, I am being a "prude" for not approving. Should I put my foot down and tell her no more? Talk to the other woman or her husband (we are all friends) and ask them to desist? Or... Seek professional help? Or, should I take it as a blessing and enjoy the time awayf from her during these weekly romps, and hope that it contributes to a more adventurous wife in our own bedroom?

I don't want to stifle her and be controlling when she has a rebellious past (drugs and other mischief) because it could backfire, but I don't want to lose her love to this philandering. 

Thank you in advance for the advice!!

Thrown Away.


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## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

Thrown Away said:


> Hi folks! My wife and I are in our late 20's. Long story short. College sweethearts in a classic relationship, we got married a few years back but she cheated on me with a married groomsman last year. She confessed with intense tears and said something like that would never happen again, and I believed her.
> 
> Now a year later, one of her bridesmaids who is also married but bisexual has been smoking weed with her and having her over for slumber parties. I don't think the husband is included in their bed, but she is very open about the fact that the 2 beautiful ladies enjoy just cuddling and making out.
> 
> ...


Sigh, having trouble swallowing this but people may find the answers useful on what to do in such situations. That really came across as moderatorish... apologies mods


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## jack.c (Sep 7, 2013)

seems to me that your wife should of not married! Unless you are confortale for future "share's" I certainly would start to file.....
Honestly I dont think she loves being a one wifes man, probably immature. Thats my thaught's.....


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

Divorce. She wants to be married in name only but still live the single life.


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

Your wife has no trouble cheating on you with other men or women. She is playing you for a total fool and has absolutely no respect for you or your marriage whatsoever. If you do not respect yourself then who will?


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## nogutsnoglory (Jan 17, 2013)

Thrown Away said:


> Hi folks! My wife and I are in our late 20's. Long story short. College sweethearts in a classic relationship, we got married a few years back but she cheated on me with a married groomsman last year. She confessed with intense tears and said something like that would never happen again, and I believed her.
> 
> Now a year later, one of her bridesmaids who is also married but bisexual has been smoking weed with her and having her over for slumber parties. I don't think the husband is included in their bed, but she is very open about the fact that the 2 beautiful ladies enjoy just cuddling and making out.
> 
> ...


Got a real hard time believing this thread or taking it seriously. 
You can't be this dumb. You married an over sexed who**.
Move on. BTW- she has done more than you know and if you think they sleep together, cuddle and "make out" and that is all you are naive as well. Tell her you have no way of believing her due to the first affair and think she is lying, so you have a polygraph set up and the future of your marriage is dependent on taking and passing that exam. Her response will be very telling. If she acts like that is no problem then you better have it set up and ready. So call around and schedule the appointment for the test. Then go tell her when it is. Most cheaters act like it is no problem but freak out on the way to the exam and then you all of a sudden get a tear filled confession in the parking lot. This is going to happen and when it does she is still lying and the exam should still take place as she will be trickle truthing then, as she is now.
I would have installed a VAR pen in her purse as well to hear her and the OW together. I bet those are some steamy conversations.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Thrown Away said:


> Hi folks! My wife and I are in our late 20's. Long story short. College sweethearts in a classic relationship, we got married a few years back but she cheated on me with a married groomsman last year. She confessed with intense tears and said something like that would never happen again, and I believed her.


In other words, you fell for the crocodile tears and swept the affair under the rug. You were too quick to forgive and there were probably no consequences.



Thrown Away said:


> Now a year later, one of her bridesmaids who is also married but bisexual has been smoking weed with her and having her over for slumber parties. I don't think the husband is included in their bed, but she is very open about the fact that the 2 beautiful ladies enjoy just cuddling and making out.
> 
> In her words, I am being a "prude" for not approving. Should I put my foot down and tell her no more? Talk to the other woman or her husband (we are all friends) and ask them to desist? Or... Seek professional help? Or, should I take it as a blessing and enjoy the time awayf from her during these weekly romps, and hope that it contributes to a more adventurous wife in our own bedroom?


Cheating is cheating, and it doesn't matter if it's with an OM or OW. This is her second affair (that you know of), which makes her a serial cheater. 

Cuddling and making out? This is classic Trickle Truth. Adults don't cuddle and make out - THEY HAVE SEX. Only fracking teenagers make out. 

Her calling you a prude to excuse her affair with this woman shows that she has no respect for you or your marriage. What she learned from her previous cheating is that you will take it and take it. Its time you have respect for yourself.



Thrown Away said:


> I don't want to stifle her and be controlling when she has a rebellious past (drugs and other mischief) because it could backfire, but I don't want to lose her love to this philandering.
> 
> Thank you in advance for the advice!!
> 
> Thrown Away.


This is the classic mistake most men nowadays make: fear of being controlling. And many times, the WS plays the controlling card. Forget about all that crap. Cheaters thrive on it.

No, its about you protecting your marriage. However, in your case, you think she will rebel anyway. If that's so, then she is NOT marriage material. You're afraid to lose her love? You have already lost it buddy. 

She's going to cheat on you again and again if you continue to stay with her. If you have no kids, then its time to move on and find a woman who WILL be faithful to you and RESPECT the bond of marriage. 

Smoking weed, cuddling and making out, yeah right.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

Your wife cheated last year. You forgave her. Now she's starting an affair with a woman. So now she's cheating this year. You don't think that the other woman's husband is included in the bed so let me ask, how do you know? Because she told you? 

She's lied to you twice already. Now even if the husband isn't involved in this little thing with the other woman, the problem is your wife shouldn't be in bed doing whatever she's doing with her girlfriend. If that's not bad enough, she's now justifying her actions by tell you that your a prude for not approving. 

Friend. She hasn't even begun to make amends for the first affair and now she's starting a second and your sitting there with your finger in your nose if you should do something. Well the answer is yes. What you should do is pack her stuff up and tell her to go have affair and don't come back. Once is bad enough although IMO once to me is a deal breaker, but twice? 

What's going to happen next year. A threesome, group sex? Time for you to either grow a pair and unload her while you still have the chance or let this festering marriage grow into some uncontrollable mess and your left with nothing. Your choice. I know what I would do. By the way, you are a cuckold and letting her do it.


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## illwill (Feb 21, 2013)

I dont think either of you were ready for marriage.


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## InlandTXMM (Feb 15, 2013)

There are two people in a marriage. Never three.

Your post said things like you don't want to put down boundaries because "it may backfire". You mean - what? That she walks out? She's ALREADY walked out - at least twice that you know of. And your strong desire to "fix" the situation is enabling her to continue, and as she does so, she loses more and more respect for you.

It seems counter-intuitive, but putting your foot down, and having absolutes, INCREASES her respect for you, not vice versa.

You sound very much like a "Nice Guy". I strongly urge you to get and read the book "No More Mr. Nice Guy", so that you can begin to live according to your own needs and values, and stop being an enabler for her behavior simply because you are afraid to lose what you never had in the first place - a loving, faithful wife.

Sadly, your wife is now a serial cheater and drug user. Is this really the woman you want to grow old with? Wondering all the time why she's late coming home? Having to sneak looks at her email and FB and phone? Having to put your own values and needs aside so as not to "appear controlling"?

You married a person who is not marriage material. Sorry you are here, but in most cases, where there is repeat cheating, the damage cannot be undone.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

6301 said:


> Your wife cheated last year. You forgave her. Now she's starting an affair with a woman. So now she's cheating this year. You don't think that the other woman's husband is included in the bed so let me ask, how do you know? Because she told you?
> 
> She's lied to you twice already. Now even if the husband isn't involved in this little thing with the other woman, the problem is your wife shouldn't be in bed doing whatever she's doing with her girlfriend. If that's not bad enough, she's now justifying her actions by tell you that your a prude for not approving.
> 
> ...


You gave me an idea. I just thought of this: maybe this whole thing with her girlfriend is a smoke screen to cover up the affair with the husband.

Pure speculation on my part, but either way you cut it, she's in an affair with someone, or it could be a three way thing.


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## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

Fiction.


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## InlandTXMM (Feb 15, 2013)

nogutsnoglory said:


> Got a real hard time believing this thread or taking it seriously.
> You can't be this dumb. You married an over sexed who**.
> Move on. BTW- she has done more than you know and if you think they sleep together, cuddle and "make out" and that is all you are naive as well. Tell her you have no way of believing her due to the first affair and think she is lying, so you have a polygraph set up and the future of your marriage is dependent on taking and passing that exam. Her response will be very telling. If she acts like that is no problem then you better have it set up and ready. So call around and schedule the appointment for the test. Then go tell her when it is. Most cheaters act like it is no problem but freak out on the way to the exam and then you all of a sudden get a tear filled confession in the parking lot. This is going to happen and when it does she is still lying and the exam should still take place as she will be trickle truthing then, as she is now.
> I would have installed a VAR pen in her purse as well to hear her and the OW together. I bet those are some steamy conversations.


He'll NEVER take that advice. To threaten her with a poly? She'd laugh in his face right now. She's unrepentant and wiping her feet on him.


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## Lordhavok (Mar 14, 2012)

Your fooling yourself if you think the husband is not involved, this has threeway written all over it.


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## CASE_Sensitive (Jul 22, 2013)

thunderstruck said:


> Fiction.


Agreed


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## missthelove2013 (Sep 23, 2013)

so your wife slept with a groomsman, and now is sleeping with a girlfriend but NOT including the girlfriends husband

are you retarded????? Sorry...but this cant possibly be real...and if it is, I dont even know what to say


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

bfree said:


> Divorce. She wants to be married in name only but still live the single life.


Permenant backup plan, if someone drops her out in single land she has hubby, so no reason to ever get down about all that excitement.


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## Cubby (Mar 28, 2012)

thunderstruck said:


> Fiction.


Yep, that's what I'm thinking. Just in case it's not fiction, the correct answer won't take too long or involve too much heavy thought. Divorce her. No kids, so it's an easy decision. Some aren't cut out for marriage. Your "wife" is a member of that club. 

Also, stop with the "fear of being controlling" mindset if you ever get married again. It makes you appear weak and wishy-washy to your wife. It's a turn-off.


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## Numbersixxx (Oct 10, 2012)

What is wrong with some people?!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

Thrown Away said:


> Now a year later, one of her bridesmaids who is also married but bisexual has been smoking weed with her and having her over for slumber parties. I don't think the husband is included in their bed, but she is very open about the fact that the 2 beautiful ladies enjoy just cuddling and making out.


 You do not know if the husband is sharing a bed with your wife and his wife? The fact that your marriage boundaries are so non-existent that this is even a possibility is alarming. Also, making out with another person, male or female, is cheating. She has cheated in the past on you with no consequences, so she feels free to cheat on you now.



Thrown Away said:


> In her words, I am being a "prude" for not approving.


 She wants to be in an open marraige, and you are OK with that because God forbid if she called you a prude. Well you have a choice here. You can either be a "prude" or a "cuckold". So far, cuckold is winning.


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## carolinadreams (Nov 30, 2012)

"in a classic relationship"

The sounds that your mouth makes when you speak, and the symbols that are formed when you type keys on the keyboards have commonly accepted meanings. You may have your own interpretation of those meanings, but if you veer from the commonly share definitions of words, you won't be communicating with readers or listeners - you will just be drawing symbols or making sounds.

what classic relationship involves bisexual infidelity?

You wife just told you she doesn't intend to be monogamous. Her sexual desires and fufillment are more important to her than your "marriage". If you are okay with that great. If you aren't okay with it you need to find a partner who understands what a "classical relationship" entails and who values it.


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

I would have a hard time believing what took place in my marriage with my ex if I wasn't the guy who bore the brunt of it's consequences. If the OP has already nailed his wife as a cheater he has no reason to believe that she isn't pulling a threesome with her "friend".
Thrown Away, it always looks better once it's behind you than it did when you knew it was happening.


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## TikiKeen (Oct 14, 2013)

That's a rebellious present, not a rebellious past.

Can I post the doll image again yet?


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

Thrown Away said:


> Hi folks! My wife and I are in our late 20's. Long story short. College sweethearts in a classic relationship, we got married a few years back but she cheated on me with a married groomsman last year. She confessed with intense tears and said something like that would never happen again, and I believed her.
> 
> Now a year later, one of her bridesmaids who is also married but bisexual has been smoking weed with her and having her over for slumber parties. I don't think the husband is included in their bed, but she is very open about the fact that the 2 beautiful ladies enjoy just cuddling and making out.
> 
> ...


Is sex only considered sex if it's between a man and a woman? Did your marriage vows allow for sex outside your marriage? Kisses + cuddles = what in your estimation? It equals sex in my universe.

You have to decide if an open marriage is what you want. And in that case why be married at all. So does this open mind of hers allow you to have sex with other women? If she tells you no, tell her to quit being so controlling.

What do YOU want?


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## HypnoHealer (Feb 14, 2014)

First, understand every rule you have about marriage and fidelity is based on a group of very odd sexual prohibitions, but humans and there closest relative the Bonobo Chimp are unique in the females are able, willing and in fact under the right circumstances eager to mate with multiple partners at any time during their estrus.

An excellent book, Sex at Dawn: the prehistoric origins of modern sexuality, written by two scientists using numerous studies and presented in a humorous and lighthearted manner.

What it shows is women are just as sexual as men. We always think about the cheating husband, but half of the time or more he is with another married woman. In many cases she has some specific need which he marriage does not bring her. In most of the marriages I have counseled and been involved with the woman had a need to be dominated and ordered around sexually. She specifically did not want this in her marriage which was based on love, respect and equality.

She needed someone to care for her needs to submit and be praised for being an obedient, submissive good girl. Having worked with hundreds of women in this particular subset has made me skilled in training them and sexualizing them while keeping within some clear rules so ask to keep the loving relationship with her husband as her primary relationship.

Some husbands eagerly embraced this, they usually the ones to initiate contact with me, but others came to understand this was a need like air or water. Sex is a fundamental drive in us and once a woman has experienced herself as a sexual animal, she is awaken and aware of her need for abundant sex.

In these relationships there are always degrees of success and failure. The most successful ones seemed to universally follow the rule that the husband know the needs of his wife. certainly while out shopping or eating, she can make her preferences clearer by pointing out men she feels sexually attractive. But once this is done, it is the husband who approaches, greets and explains his wife's needs and his invitation for them to accompany him to a private place where they might give his wife enormous pleasure.

A second rule which is more successful is to include at least three other men any time his wife is pleasured. Women often associate sex especially great new sex with love. When your wife is having only one on one encounters, it is far more possible for her to develop emotional attachments and honestly it is emotional infidelity that damages the heart. Seeing the woman you love crying joyously in the throws of passion and looking over at you and pledging her undying love for you is not a painful experience once you see it from the correct perspective.

When multiple lovers are in each group the intent and purpose of providing your wife with overwhelming levels of orgasmic pleasure becomes much more clear. While the men are people and do have personalities while sexually interacting, when your wife is faced with a group of aroused men whose desire and passion are directed solely at her, her perception of them shifts far more to the abundant numbers of hard penises aching for her and they are completely at her disposal to do with as she pleases.

This removes the emotional aspect which might arise if there was a single attractive male who in a quiet romantic setting made love to her.

I would ask you: have you ever looked at a men's magazine and wanted to **** the nude model, spreading her legs and smiling at you?
Have you ever sat at a cafe and seen a pretty girl in a short skirt and wanted her?
If you learned she was not wearing panties, would you want her more? And then you see her head turn and it is your wife surrounded by a group of college men...

Now yes I have done this with others, but I think to finish this advice I must talk from my personal experience.

One of the things I have always loved is watching my wife climax, but I was both distracted and stacked in one or two positions when it happened.

One day, after years of my wife insisting I have a mistress and she be allowed her passion when it came. After the second baby and a few years, her sexdrive can back with a roar. She joined me with my girlfriends hoping to find a sister wife and I arranged for a special anniversary of not our wedding but a significant milestone in our dating. Eight charming and handsome men, screened over three months made their appearance in a top class hotel, charmed my wife over dinner with fabulous funny stories, then bathed, massaged her and made love to her three at a time, while I was free to sit and just watch her climax over and over in a near endless stream.

I gave my wife five hours of being worshiped and loved, being the center of the universe to nine men and that night when my wife and I slept in each other's arms she cried and told me she had never felt so loved by me in her life.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

Troll post... Zombie thread. Like winning the Powerball!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## brokeneric (Jan 27, 2014)

Thrown Away said:


> Hi folks! My wife and I are in our late 20's. Long story short. College sweethearts in a classic relationship, we got married a few years back but she cheated on me with a married groomsman last year. She confessed with intense tears and said something like that would never happen again, and I believed her.
> 
> Now a year later, one of her bridesmaids who is also married but bisexual has been smoking weed with her and having her over for slumber parties. I don't think the husband is included in their bed, but she is very open about the fact that the 2 beautiful ladies enjoy just cuddling and making out.
> 
> ...


Where are the manly men these days?


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

HypnoHealer said:


> First, understand every rule you have about marriage and fidelity is based on a group of very odd sexual prohibitions, but humans and there closest relative the Bonobo Chimp are unique in the females are able, willing and in fact under the right circumstances eager to mate with multiple partners at any time during their estrus.
> 
> An excellent book, Sex at Dawn: the prehistoric origins of modern sexuality, written by two scientists using numerous studies and presented in a humorous and lighthearted manner.
> 
> ...


:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl: :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## brokeneric (Jan 27, 2014)

HypnoHealer said:


> First, understand every rule you have about marriage and fidelity is based on a group of very odd sexual prohibitions, but humans and there closest relative the Bonobo Chimp are unique in the females are able, willing and in fact under the right circumstances eager to mate with multiple partners at any time during their estrus.
> 
> An excellent book, Sex at Dawn: the prehistoric origins of modern sexuality, written by two scientists using numerous studies and presented in a humorous and lighthearted manner.
> 
> ...


One question-
What are you smoking bro?
Whatever it is keep it away from us.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

HypnoHealer said:


> First, understand every rule you have about marriage and fidelity is based on a group of very odd sexual prohibitions, but humans and there closest relative the Bonobo Chimp are unique in the females are able, willing and in fact under the right circumstances eager to mate with multiple partners at any time during their estrus.
> 
> An excellent book, Sex at Dawn: the prehistoric origins of modern sexuality, written by two scientists using numerous studies and presented in a humorous and lighthearted manner.
> 
> ...


This, my friends, is what the real world is all about!


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

Check, please.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)




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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

OK, so I know that I'm just piling onto the zombie thread here, but I feel the need to say two things...

1. HypnoHealer - What. The. F*ck.

2. If OP truly believes/believed that the friend's husband wasn't involved in their romps, he is COMPLETELY delusional.


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> OK, so I know that I'm just piling onto the zombie thread here, but I feel the need to say two things...
> 
> 1. HypnoHealer - What. The. F*ck.
> 
> 2. If OP truly believes/believed that the friend's husband wasn't involved in their romps, he is COMPLETELY delusional.


Gus, it doesn't matter if the husband was involved or not. Our hero needs a divorce.

As far as HypnoHealer goes, I'm vaguely acquainted with folks who do such things. The point is that HH's story, real or not, has nothing to do with the OP's claimed situation.

Some stories here run on for months as they evolve. Some don't need more than a couple of dozen posts. This seems to be one of those.


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## illwill (Feb 21, 2013)

They have wifi under bridges?


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

illwill said:


> They have wifi under bridges?


That's why you need the tin foil hats don't you know.:lol:


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## carpenoctem (Jul 4, 2012)

HypnoHealer said:


> I gave my wife five hours of being worshiped and loved, being the center of the universe to nine men and that night when my wife and I slept in each other's arms *she cried and told me she had never felt so loved by me in her life.*



Oh, you didn't tell her you had taken money from these men?

You are one clever pimp.


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

HypnoHealer said:


> First, understand every rule you have about marriage and fidelity is based on a group of very odd sexual prohibitions, but humans and there closest relative the Bonobo Chimp are unique in the females are able, willing and in fact under the right circumstances eager to mate with multiple partners at any time during their estrus.
> 
> An excellent book, Sex at Dawn: the prehistoric origins of modern sexuality, written by two scientists using numerous studies and presented in a humorous and lighthearted manner.
> 
> ...


HH.................. long time no see

how is the work-at-home, make $7500 a week going?


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## happi_g_more2 (Jan 27, 2014)

cmon mods. dump this ****


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