# What do you consider cheating?



## littledevil83 (Apr 16, 2010)

My friend and I had recently had a deep conversation about what we expected from a relationship and this questions came up.

So, what do you consider cheating?


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## kendall2 (Apr 14, 2010)

Anytime two people are engaging in behaviour or communictation that they wouldnt commit in front of their significant other. '
If they are hiding something the question needs to be asked "Why?"

Its all about trust. If they don't trust you to "understand" then its cheating.


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## robalocc (Apr 22, 2010)

:iagree:


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## mike1 (Jun 15, 2009)

:iagree:

If you're engaging in any activity with anyone or involved in any sort of communication including but not limited to txting, e-mail, conversation or flirtation that you wouldn't do if your spouse was present is cheating.


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## OneMarriedGuy (Apr 5, 2010)

mike1 said:


> :iagree:
> 
> If you're engaging in any activity with anyone or involved in any sort of communication including but not limited to txting, e-mail, conversation or flirtation that you wouldn't do if your spouse was present is cheating.


So what if?

You feel what you are doing is OK, spouse does not
You may feel it is fine to do in front of your spouse
Spouse has seen some in past and was hurt/jealous/offended/upset
You are pissed they went snooping and found
So you do it secretively so as to not cause the above?


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## mike1 (Jun 15, 2009)

OneMarriedGuy said:


> So what if?
> 
> You feel what you are doing is OK, spouse does not
> You may feel it is fine to do in front of your spouse
> ...


I'm sure people in different situations would see things differently. There could be scenarios where a spouse is just over the top crazy like doesn't want their wife/husband to speak to people of the opposite sex ever. So yes there could be exceptions. 

But there are a lot of people in this day and age that cross the line and think it's perfectly fine. Like having 'friendships' with ex boyfriends from high school on facebook or a wife going out to lunch with a male co-worker. I mean there are all sorts of scenarios where the person doing the act thinks it's ok and their spouse is going to over-react and doesn't understand or some BS excuse. 

If there are trust issues then that's something that should be dealt with in the relationship separately. I'm not sure that justifies secretive behavior. I think ultimately if the spouse doesn't agree with something the other is doing then that should be respected. Otherwise someone will find out, the trust would be broken and then it will look much worse in the end.


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## elhi13 (Apr 28, 2010)

There is always a fine line...I personally believe that intimacy is the hook, line and sinker. I have male friends that I enjoy their company as do my husband enjoy his female friends. With so many networking sites its hard to say anymore. Intimacy is the sinker, but that is me.


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## blublazy (Apr 30, 2010)

mike1 said:


> I'm sure people in different situations would see things differently. There could be scenarios where a spouse is just over the top crazy like doesn't want their wife/husband to speak to people of the opposite sex ever. So yes there could be exceptions. QUOTE]
> 
> If you cant explain to your spouse why it is okay, or include them in the activity, such as going to lunch with opposite sex friend ect. then whether you consider it right or wrong, it is considered cheating. Maybe not by you, but your spouse will hurt because of your decision to be inconsiderate. If it really is okay in your opinion, then maybe counseling is the answer or even divorce if opinions differ that much.


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## pochael (Apr 12, 2010)

Lust= a desire for things forbidden... And I am sorry, if your spouse has a problem with it, then you should respect their concern, and if you do not.... You probably deserve the consequences.


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## kendall2 (Apr 14, 2010)

For me the problem lies (pun intended) with what the texting (in my case) will lead to. What my wife is doing now isn't going to destroy our marriage but what she is doing (flirting in her texts) on almost a daily basis could lead to a more serious form of cheating. Thats the problem; when we argue about it now she says its nothing just a little fun in some texts but I argue it will lead to problems later. She just doesn't see that as a possibility. #1 she thinks the other guy wouldn't possiblility escalate things (niave) and #2 she thinks she can handle anything that comes up;

To me thats where the whole problem lies in this kind of cheating. On its face it can be excused as "innocent" or just "fun" and it may be just that but what if it goes to far? I say I should have the right to say " no this could lead to serious cheating". My wife just doesn't see it that way. 

Thats why I think I have the "right" to spy. I know its going on and I want to know how far its going before it goes to far.


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## littledevil83 (Apr 16, 2010)

I'm pretty sure that flirting on any level would be a deal killer...


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