# Fair Share



## myheartem1 (May 9, 2012)

So I'm a mother of 3 and was just curious if anyone else's husband backs out from responsibilities when it comes to the kids. I mean really, does ANYONE have a husband who won't and REFUSES to bathe their own children? HE says " Oh but you give bathes so much faster than I ever could " Does anyone have a husband who makes the wife do ALL the laundry alone at the laundry mat, for everyone all at once? WHILE.... he sits their and plays video games.. even when their wife is 8 months pregnant??? DOES anyone's husband just flat out back down from responsibility in any way maybe even other than this but to me it just doesn't seem fair. I go to school full time and he's currently not even working and yet I'm still responsible for everything such as dishes, dinner, baths, laundry, diapers, really anything that has to do with cleaning our home and I just don't see how this is equal parenting.. whats your opinion?:iagree:


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

myheartem1 said:


> So I'm a mother of 3 and was just curious if anyone else's husband backs out from responsibilities when it comes to the kids. I mean really, does ANYONE have a husband who won't and REFUSES to bathe their own children? HE says " Oh but you give bathes so much faster than I ever could " Does anyone have a husband who makes the wife do ALL the laundry alone at the laundry mat, for everyone all at once? WHILE.... he sits their and plays video games.. even when their wife is 8 months pregnant??? DOES anyone's husband just flat out back down from responsibility in any way maybe even other than this but to me it just doesn't seem fair. I go to school full time and he's currently not even working and yet I'm still responsible for everything such as dishes, dinner, baths, laundry, diapers, really anything that has to do with cleaning our home and I just don't see how this is equal parenting.. whats your opinion?:iagree:


How old are your children? 

How old are the two of you? 

How long have you been married?

Well yes your husband sounds a lot like the one I just divorced.
We married when our kids were 10/11. So I did not go through any pregnancies with him. We were married for 12 years. He lost his job in the second year. He seldom worked after that... was unemployed for 10 years.. still is. He plays video games all day and is into cybersex, porn, etc. And would not help with the kids, the house, yard, etc. 

So what’s my opinion? You need to set hard boundaries on this. Your actions are enabling him to do this. Don’t do like I did and let this go on for 10 years. End it now. Either he stops acting like a 15 year old and becomes a responsible husband and father or you need to divorce him. That’s the hard stance you need to take to change this.

** Stop doing anything for him. Do not do his laundry, do not cook for him, etc. Take care of yourself and the kids. He’s a big boy and can take care of himself.

** Remove all video gaming equipment from your home. Give it to his parents and tell him that it’s you, your children or video games. Or just throw it away. Or better yet sell it and get some badly needed cash.

** Tell him that if he does not do 50% of the chores he can leave.

** Tell him that he has to get a job. 

** No more sex with him unless he grows up and takes responsibility. The last thing you need is one more baby.

Give him 24 hours to make these changes or he’s gone. What he is doing it abuse. It’s just down right mean. You don’t need a husband who acts like a 15 year old.


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## myheartem1 (May 9, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> How old are your children?
> 
> How old are the two of you?
> 
> ...



We are both in our twenties... and our kids are 1,3, and 4! n havebeen married for 2 years now. i mean he loves his video games! and at one point i really felt he had a game addiction and it was awful..but hes not THATTT bad anymore. but he is looking into a job he got laid off from driving truck n suposively has one set up. trust me he wants out of the house away from responsibility. its hard most the time anyways to initiate sex with him so withholding wouldnt be very difficult, most the time i " ask at all the wrong times, its either too late or too early".... lol you get my drift though. and worst part is whenwwe argue... he really makes me take full responsibility for the kids...which is hard to accept when im so upset but im ok with it because i just tell myself im a good mother and i always put the kids first no matter how bad he ticks me off. like he'll just play games, refuse to help watch them so i can do homework, or make dinner.


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

Your husband is a lazy a$$hole.
I worked, had a beautiful daughter and was absolutely terrible at giving her a bath. I just didn't "do it the right way". I was also not up to snuff on feeding her, when she was little, she freaked out when Dad came at her with a spoon.
There are some things that kids get used to, that parents get used to, and when it changes, kids and parents don't necessarily mesh.
That being said, if your husband has no job, he ought to be busting his behind helping you out at home.
If he can't feed or bathe the kids, then should at least be doing the laundry and cleaning the house.


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## MrsKy (May 5, 2012)

I think most mothers do the lion's share of housework and childrearing. I believe this because of what I saw growing up and what I notice with my friend's who have kids. Not fair, but it seems to be very common.

Set some limits and tell your husband that he needs to step up. He is NOT WORKING for heaven's sakes!


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