# Oh god i cant take anymore!



## onepotatotwo (May 17, 2011)

I posted in another area about my miserable sexless marriage...Well the end has finally come for me. The straw that broke the camels back was when i went to shave my legs, which i'm apt to do so i can feel relatively human, and discovered my razor chock full of someone's pubes!!! I cant believe i'm posting this but i am so angry my head feels like its going to explode! 
I came downstairs and told my husband about this disgusting discovery and he completely dismissed me...he had some dumb paper to read for work tomorrow and couldnt be bothered to engage me for a couple of minutes while I vented. I had wanted to confront his kids (my steps) tomorrow...along with the peeing on the toilet seat(they're 15 and 16 they ought to know better but they have no home training). Instead of hearing how angry and disgusted I was, he just shooed me away. So I have been just *boiling* mad. 
Part of why I'm so angry is that my H has been a total **** since he got a job last week. He had been laid off for a year and was looking for another managerial position that paid as much as he had been making. So i picked up the slack with my savings, my credit, and even took out a large personal loan to help us get by. Since he got this job, he acts like I'm a piece of crap, that I didnt contribute anything this last year, and that he's king ****. He is belittling, condescending, and cares even less about my feelings. 
I'm trying not to cry as i write this but i feel soooo used. I tried so hard to make life better for me and his kids but now he shows his true colors...he's just a user. I was good enough to be there for him when the chips were down and now i'm garbage...and even more so because i dared to criticize his precious babies. I have been a better stepmother to them than their own mother was a mother to them. He should be standing up for me...i souldnt have to wipe pee off the toilet seat and i sure as hell shouldnt have to shave my razor with his kids junk....makes me gag even now.
H always says boys will be boys, yadda yadda yadda, but no other mom or step has to live like this! Around thse parts, every other mom has their own bathroom and the kids share another or have their own...no other mother has to deal with the pissy toilet seat problem but i do and H acts like I'm a jerk.
I cant take anymore. There is absolutely nothing i like about being here anymore....I think i truly hate H because of how little regard he has for me. And i feel like a dumb ass becauseof how much i put into this...No man that truly loves you would treat you as badly as I'm getting here...so im beginning to realize H doesnt love me very much....but he sure uses me for all he can get.
I'm planning to divorce him and this really cinched it for me....He's just a jerk and i'll be better off away from him. 
TY for listening to my rant....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Kauaiguy (May 8, 2011)

I'm sorry but I had to chuckle a little on your first opening statements. But you're right, the kids should have been taught early on to respect other peoples property and to at least lift the toilet seat while they drain their bladder.

Apparently your H isn't very appreciative about you picking up the tab while he was unemployed. But what he's NOT realizing is that he's not out of the woods yet. Most jobs are NOT permanent until you've proven your worth, and he may even hate it after a while for one reason or another.

A woman's personal item should be theirs and theirs alone and you should have your own storage area (cabinet/drawers) where no one is allowed to get into.

My rule of thumb in regards to bathroom is: If you have more than one, then the children gets one while the man and the wife gets to share the other. The children are NOT allowed to use the parents bathroom without permission.

If both bathrooms have toilets, shower and tub, there should be no reason why the parents can't have their own private bathroom.

I can understand your anger and the way your H is treating you, and if I were him, I would tread lightly until I know for sure that I like the job and I have it permanently before I started acting like an A$$wipe!

What happens if you leave and he loses his job? OH WELL!


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## onepotatotwo (May 17, 2011)

I could see the humor in the razor incident and even the toilet seat deal... but I've come to the point where I just feel, god help me for saying it because I hate the word, "disrespected"...
I feel like now that he's got a good paying job, he thinks he can treat me like a slave because I make less than he does...and all I've done to pay for everything while he was unemployed, means nothing to him. 

You hit on a good point too... the reason he's acting like such a jerk now is that he thinks he's untouchable. If we divorce, he gets half the house(I have the mortgage, him and I are both on the deed--kicker is he used to own it with his exwife but he had to sell to buy her out--he gifted me his equity, and I purchased the home with a mortgage of my own because he has terrible credit)... Long story short, if we divorce, we'd have to sell the house, but we'd both wind up walking away with a very very large chunk of change...Which is fine with my H in alot of respects. He wants to golf and travel and be irresponsible whereas I'm in the nesting phase of life (he's several years older than I am). We'd lived opposite lives before we'd met--I'd traveled alot and was wild, and he had been married with kids living in a suburban hell for many years.... Now that he's approaching 50, he wants to run and be free and have fun even though his kids aren't grown yet(wants to be irresponsible like his ex wife is)-- And I'm at the age where I want to have babies, make a garden and peace out.lol So selling the house would give him money to play around with--and he's not very good with money so he'd piss through it all in short order and be living in a dumpy apartment having his kids share a fold away bed.

I would love to give the kids their own bathroom, but we have one full bath and a half bath--the half bath is a science project in itself--it's downstairs and they roll in their on their roller blades and just pee all willy-nilly (haha) everywhere. It's a constant battle to keep it clean enough to not get condemned by the health department.lol 

I'd been tempted to get a home equity loan to build a master suite over our garage--the plans were drawn up before I'd ever known H. We'd have a larger bedroom with our own private en suite, and the boys would each have their own bathroom in their renovated bedrooms. However, H hasn't been nice enough to me for long enough for me to want to bother spending the money.
At this point I just wanna run away


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