# Cheaters are Stupid!!!



## Rooster2014 (Aug 23, 2014)

Ok, here is what I think. Those who cheat are just fooling themselves. Men usually always get caught by someone at sometime. Then wonder why the wife cannot forgive. Or the other way. Just too many cover ups and lies that have to be told and over time someone gets exposed. Personally I am a horrible liar. So I just try to not put myself in that spot. I am in my second marriage. I feel if I put 150% into it I hope I get 150% out of it. If it doesn't work I'll know I gave it my all!! No regrets. But either way. I'll get out before I or she cheats. She knows that. Lies, secrets and cheating destroys marriages. Because once it starts there is no end to it. JMO.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

Common sense stuff. No argument here.

Common sense does not run completely throughout TAM, though.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

this'll be a fun thread


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## Rookie4 (Nov 26, 2012)

Yep, they are, indeed.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Guess I should get this T-shirt?


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## changedbeliefs (Jun 13, 2014)

Rooster2014 said:


> Ok, here is what I think. Those who cheat are just fooling themselves. Men *usually always* get caught by someone at sometime. Then wonder why the wife cannot forgive. Or the other way. Just too many cover ups and lies that have to be told and over time someone gets exposed. Personally I am a horrible liar. So I just try to not put myself in that spot. I am in my second marriage. I feel *if I put 150% into it I hope I get 150% out of it*. If it doesn't work I'll know I gave it my all!! No regrets. But either way. I'll get out before I or she cheats. She knows that. Lies, secrets and cheating destroys marriages. Because once it starts there is no end to it. JMO.


Sorry, can't resist: a friend of mine pointed out to me in college how "usually always" is kind of a meaningless phrase, so I laser in any time I hear or read it. And, I know it sounds all gung-ho and everything, but you can't give more than 100%. Why not give 300%? 500%!!! You 150% are slackers! 

Look, I'm glad you feel so strongly about it, but I'm going to be very blunt here: the reason this forum, as a whole, exists, and the reason why the CWI forum is pretty much the hottest hotbed of discussion in here, is because this issue is simply NOT that simple.

Beat your wife? Alcoholic? Gamble away the kids' college funds? No longer have sex with your spouse? Lost your job now you just sit and play video games and gained 100 pounds? Haven't helped with laundry in 10 years? Gee, sounds like you're struggling, c'mon in, it's ok, let us help....

CHEATED?!?!?! OMG, heathen, hellfire be rained upon you, how dare you!?!?! It's all called "life," my friend, and it's all part of marriage, and if the thousands of threads on TAM aren't proof yet, it's*f***ing hard.* Are there degrees of mistakes in this life, absolutely, but ya know what, there are PLENTY of them worse than cheating, and there are far worse tragedies a life can endure. I've read plenty of stories on here that have nothing to do with cheating, and leave me quivering in my skin as to how horrible people can be to one another. You can believe all you want that "cheaters are stupid," that you're "above" that. You can hypothesize all you want as to how it "usually always" happens, how it won't happen to you, WHY it won't happen to you, etc... None of that matters when it comes down to it. You think someone who cheated just "always knew" they'd get in that situation one day? You want to go take a sample of how many people are in jail for MURDER, and see how many of them were "normal" people one day, and then just ended up in a ****ty situation?

Understanding. Empathy. They're key concepts, but they, by definition, are stances one must take with partially informed ideas. I am a big believer that, somewhere, someone has been through exactly what you've been through. Truly unique situations are rare, but unless you have crawled into someone's skin, and lived their life, ALL of it, you cannot know, and judge, what they've been through. Are there people who very callously cheat, repeatedly, with no remorse? Sure, I'm sure there are. Is that every situaton? Not even close. How about we all just focus on helping each get through whatever it is they're going through?


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## Rooster2014 (Aug 23, 2014)

Rooster2014 said:


> Ok, here is what I think. Those who cheat are just fooling themselves. Men usually always get caught by someone at sometime. Then wonder why the wife cannot forgive. Or the other way. Just too many cover ups and lies that have to be told and over time someone gets exposed. Personally I am a horrible liar. So I just try to not put myself in that spot. I am in my second marriage. I feel if I put 150% into it I hope I get 150% out of it. If it doesn't work I'll know I gave it my all!! No regrets. But either way. I'll get out before I or she cheats. She knows that. Lies, secrets and cheating destroys marriages. Because once it starts there is no end to it. JMO.


My first marriage was full of lies. I just made myself a promise not to get caught up in it again. Instead of searching for a freak in the sheets and a hot girl I did things a little different. Just really didn't look but found a best friend and married her. But here is how stupid I am. I forget where my phone is I never sign out of my email or FB. It's crazy. She is the same.


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## Rooster2014 (Aug 23, 2014)

changedbeliefs said:


> Sorry, can't resist: a friend of mine pointed out to me in college how "usually always" is kind of a meaningless phrase, so I laser in any time I hear or read it. And, I know it sounds all gung-ho and everything, but you can't give more than 100%. Why not give 300%? 500%!!! You 150% are slackers!
> 
> Look, I'm glad you feel so strongly about it, but I'm going to be very blunt here: the reason this forum, as a whole, exists, and the reason why the CWI forum is pretty much the hottest hotbed of discussion in here, is because this issue is simply NOT that simple.
> 
> ...


Maybe but then again that's why I say JMO


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Rooster2014 said:


> Maybe but then again that's why I say JMO


so you could say you are crowing?


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## Rooster2014 (Aug 23, 2014)

Almostrecovered said:


> so you could say you are crowing?


Nope, I think I'll stay with "I offered an opinion" Some may agree others not. Either way it's all good!!


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

changedbeliefs said:


> Sorry, can't resist: a friend of mine pointed out to me in college how "usually always" is kind of a meaningless phrase, so I laser in any time I hear or read it. And, I know it sounds all gung-ho and everything, but you can't give more than 100%. Why not give 300%? 500%!!! You 150% are slackers!
> 
> Look, I'm glad you feel so strongly about it, but I'm going to be very blunt here: the reason this forum, as a whole, exists, and the reason why the CWI forum is pretty much the hottest hotbed of discussion in here, is because this issue is simply NOT that simple.
> 
> ...


Did you notice this is a thread about coping with INFIDELITY? not coping with alcoholics or depression or violence.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Rooster2014 said:


> Nope, I think I'll stay with "I offered an opinion" Some may agree others not. Either way it's all good!!



you missed the pun obviously


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

bottom line
is my wife stupid? no
did my wife do stupid things while cheating? yes


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## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

Almostrecovered said:


> you missed the pun obviously


Lucky guy.


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

hmmm since I've been on both sides of infidelity.. wonder what I should label myself :scratchhead:

Oh and since my ex has now been on both sides of infidelity.. wonder what that makes him... 

tsk tsk to those BS's who don't think they would ever cheat... pride goeth...

A year before I had my affair in my 20's I said these very words "I do not see why people cheat."


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> so you could say you are crowing?


:rofl: Yep, cheaters are stoooopid.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Threads like this are the very reason that we're running off so many FWS's.

Attack the behavior, not the person. In other words...

Cheat_*ing*_ is stupid!


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

changedbeliefs said:


> CHEATED?!?!?! OMG, heathen, hellfire be rained upon you, how dare you!?!?! It's all called "life," my friend, and* it's all part of marriage*, and if the thousands of threads on TAM aren't proof yet, it's*f***ing hard.*


Thank you for reaffirming my plan to never enter a committed relationship ever again.




> Are there degrees of mistakes in this life, absolutely, but ya know what, there are PLENTY of them worse than cheating


This is an old and tired argument that doesn't work.

Having someone cut your arms and legs off is worse than, say, getting stabbed in the leg with a knife. Do we tell the person that was simply stabbed, "get over it, that's life, they could have cut your appendages off"? No.

Just because there are worse things than being betrayed, does not make cheating any less despicable or hurtful.




> You think someone who cheated just "always knew" they'd get in that situation one day?


Do I care? Does it really matter? No.



> You want to go take a sample of how many people are in jail for MURDER, and see how many of them were "normal" people one day, and then just ended up in a ****ty situation?



I was actually going to use this analogy, but figured it would get shot down. But since you used it, then great.

The murderer, whether he/she says they intended to kill someone or not, is going to prison.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

Blossom Leigh said:


> tsk tsk to those BS's who don't think they would ever cheat... pride goeth...
> 
> A year before I had my affair in my 20's I said these very words "I do not see why people cheat."


No offense BL, because I do like you, but that's you.

Some of us CAN say it and mean it.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

not that I disagree with anything you said there Vell, but you could really use a hug


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

Almostrecovered said:


> not that I disagree with anything you said there Vell, but you could really use a hug


Well think about that gif above. It does seem when the blameshifters claim to wish you well, that hug above too many times seems appropriate.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I think you're proving my point


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## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

Almostrecovered said:


> not that I disagree with anything you said there Vell, but you could really use a hug


Just so you know, I'm stealing this gif. You'll be seeing it again.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> I think you're proving my point


Uh, That's a vampire hug right? Maybe I'll just pass.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

Almostrecovered said:


> I think you're proving my point


That getting sympathy and a hug from a alot of the WS here is like getting a hug from Voldemort? 

If so, yes, I proved your point.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Nucking Futs said:


> Just so you know, I'm stealing this gif. You'll be seeing it again.


if you ever see Dolly just post this gif, it's her favorite


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

vellocet said:


> That getting sympathy and a hug from a alot of the WS here is like getting a hug from Voldemort?
> 
> If so, yes, I proved your point.



no that you're Mr Gwumpypants


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

Nucking Futs said:


> Just so you know, I'm stealing this gif. You'll be seeing it again.


Yup, me too. Gonna come in handy with the faux sympathy posts :smthumbup:


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

Blossom Leigh said:


> hmmm since I've been on both sides of infidelity.. wonder what I should label myself :scratchhead:
> 
> Oh and since my ex has now been on both sides of infidelity.. wonder what that makes him...
> 
> ...


Just to show that I'm not superstitious:

I don't see why people cheat.

May lightening strike me.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Hi Forest


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

Potential flame war thread

before this thread turns into a banned fest I lobby to derail it in to a gif fest


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

Almostrecovered said:


> no that you're Mr Gwumpypants


Hmmm, Gwumpypants, or a POS cheater.

Grumpypants is just fine with me


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

xakulax said:


> Potential flame war thread
> 
> before this thread turns into a banned fest I lobby to derail it in to a gif fest


what do you think I have been doing all this time?


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

xakulax said:


> Potential flame war thread
> 
> before this thread turns into a banned fest *I lobby to derail it in to a gif fest*


SWEET! Ok.




























Note, no xakulax, these are not aimed at you. Just obliging your request for a gif fest, or in this case just a plain old meme fest


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## Rooster2014 (Aug 23, 2014)

xakulax said:


> Potential flame war thread
> 
> before this thread turns into a banned fest I lobby to derail it in to a gif fest


LOL, You know if one is going to post on this board you need some awful big shoulders. Which I have. If I have offended some I apologize. It's not a big deal. Now for the evening news!!!!


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)




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## Janky (Nov 26, 2013)

Almostrecovered said:


> Guess I should get this T-shirt?


I need that shirt as well but the arrow will be pointing down.


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

Rooster2014 said:


> LOL, You know if one is going to post on this board you need some awful big shoulders. Which I have. If I have offended some I apologize. It's not a big deal. Now for the evening news!!!!




Well I can't speak for anyone else but you haven't offended me it's just there have been rash of flame war bate thread recently with a lot of posters being banned i'm hoping we can agree to disagree with a little levity


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Almostrecovered said:


>


Camera adds 10 lbs


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Blossom Leigh said:


> hmmm since I've been on both sides of infidelity.. wonder what I should label myself :scratchhead:
> 
> Oh and since my ex has now been on both sides of infidelity.. wonder what that makes him...
> 
> ...


I made to 40 and never have. Been tempted but walked away. Hoping I can get a cookie for making it that long


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)




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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

Y'all are cracking me up... Hey Vell... I am VERY glad that some can say it and mean it. I said it too at the time and meant every word. I am grateful you haven't gone through this side of that affair pain too... every side of an affair is pure hell.

I appreciate you as well :smthumbup:


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

Wolf1974 said:


> I made to 40 and never have. Been tempted but walked away. Hoping I can get a cookie for making it that long



Every good cookie needs a good cookie dance


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

Blossom Leigh said:


> Y'all are cracking me up... Hey Vell... I am VERY glad that some can say it and mean it. I said it too at the time and meant every word. I am grateful you haven't gone through this side of that affair pain too... every side of an affair is pure hell.
> 
> I appreciate you as well :smthumbup:


Thanks, and please don't take what I said as a jab. WS or BS, you are one of the posters I like and respect....because you earned it.


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

vellocet said:


> Thanks, and please don't take what I said as a jab. WS or BS, you are one of the posters I like and respect....because you earned it.


No harm no foul at all.. no worries... :smthumbup: Yes, I have ... earned it. My "knowledge" came at a very steep price. And yet it makes me who I am today...  wise...

And I truly meant what I said about glad you didn't go through the pain of the other side on top of the pain of being a BS. Straight up honest.. no jabs in my post either


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## Calibre1212 (Aug 11, 2014)

Let's all go cheat, then we can say we were all stupid...Then we can say we are all now officially WSs. Jeez......................


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## WolverineFan (Nov 26, 2013)

The funny thing to me is that there is a forum for cheaters to go in order to find "support". Why do you need sopport for doing something that is so damaging and destructive? The act in itself is not the smartest thing in the world to do. That's for sure.


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## TimeHeals (Sep 26, 2011)

Wolf1974 said:


> I made to 40 and never have. Been tempted but walked away. Hoping I can get a cookie for making it that long



Your "cookie" for being a decent human being with some integrity who chose to do the right thing is...

you don't have an ex-wife who refers to you as "that cheating ***hole", child support payments, kids that think of you as a stupid jerk, and a lot of bad karma out there that pretty much assures that some people--if they give you a second thought--who after you die might visit your grave to pee on it.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

There are some BS that would never cheat. It is beneath me and lowest form of disrespect for another human being. I've had plenty of opportunities over the years and aggressively and cruelly brushed those people off. Even threatening to tell their SO if they didn't.

There is a time for gentle honesty, a time for brutal honesty but never a time for dishonesty. This is how I've always lived my life.

There is never an excuse for bad behavior and never will be. I refuse to debase myself to anything less than dignified respect and honesty.


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

Red card neither CantePe, or TimeHeals post where represented by a meme or gif your opinion will now be listed as just stating the obvious.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> bottom line
> is my wife stupid? no
> did my wife do stupid things while cheating? yes


I dunno. I think people who do incredibly stupid things are, indeed, stupid. Intelligence plays no part.


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## Rookie4 (Nov 26, 2012)

Peepul iz stooopid cuz tha duz stoopid stuf


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

*Re: Re: Cheaters are Stupid!!!*



Almostrecovered said:


> this'll be a fun thread


And a brief one.


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