# husband wont touch me...



## almostsingle30 (Oct 5, 2012)

I am annoyed...my h won't touch me, at all! He says he isn't happy around me, doesn't trust mercy but when I ask him why he is still here, he just says "I don't know..."

I refuse to tell him to leave. I still want the marriage to work and it needs to be his choice to leave. I just can't belive he won't have sex with me. I think he is punishing me. 

Fyi, there is no 3rd party involved, he is just very depressed and resents me for not being intimate with him the past year, so I feel now he is holding back. It is spook draining!!!

Anyone else deal with a spouse not wanting to have sex?


----------



## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

almostsingle30 said:


> I am annoyed...my h won't touch me, at all! He says he isn't happy around me, doesn't trust mercy but when I ask him why he is still here, he just says "I don't know..."
> 
> I refuse to tell him to leave. I still want the marriage to work and it needs to be his choice to leave. I just can't belive he won't have sex with me. I think he is punishing me.
> 
> ...


Apparently your husband was dealing with one for the past year.

Why did you withhold intimacy for a year?


----------



## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

This is exactly what I'm going through! chances are your husband has not been feeling cared for by you (comments made, unhealthy behaviors..etc) At least that's what I'm learning. See my thread "this kitty's going to bed hungry"

I am still trying to gain back my H's trust after 6 months!


----------



## Thoreau (Nov 12, 2012)

Really? You used your vagina as a weapon for a year and now you are complaining? Head over to the feminist thread and air your problems there.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

thoreau said:


> really? You used your vagina as a weapon for a year and now you are complaining? Head over to the feminist thread and air your problems there.
> _posted via mobile device_


lmao


----------



## Thoreau (Nov 12, 2012)

If I had a vagina I would rule the world.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SaltInWound (Jan 2, 2013)

Thoreau said:


> If I had a vagina I would rule the world.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:rofl:


----------



## almostsingle30 (Oct 5, 2012)

I wasn't withholding sex from my h. I was attracted to him, but I think I was going thru a bit of a depression/stress time. I loved(still do) spoon much, but I took him for granted. Problem is, he never spoke up until he resented me and was beyond over it. He doesn't love me any more and is miserable, but won't leave and says he doesn't know what he wants. I am soon emotionally drained and hurt.


----------



## almostsingle30 (Oct 5, 2012)

We went to 4 mcg session.s in October that got us no where. We are starting again on Tuesday with his male therapist. I know it is going to be horrible, but I will do anything to save our marriage. I won't be the one to end it, if he is unhappy, he needs to leave.


----------



## terrence4159 (Feb 3, 2013)

same boat here -the i dont love my wife anymore. when we first got married i was turrning her down 5 years later her body going through stuff her not wanting to touch me now


----------



## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

I think there is still hope for the two of you. I think his hesitation to leave is a sign that he has some reason to stay. 

You need to give him his space for awhile, allow him to work through his emotions. I was in your space 6 months ago..it was the most painful time of my life. Draw in supports because you'll need it. Don't pressure your husband to talk..he will when he's ready. He's probably so focused on all the negatives that he doesn't and won't remember the positives. 

Be patient and start making changes in yourself. Be kind don't say things to him to stir the pot or that make him become defensive.

Do little acts of kindness. He'll brush them off at first...but keep doing them. If you keep doing them he may realize that you are committed to making these changes and being there for him. He may start to come around...but it'll take time. See my journey in the Reconciliation forum under "Still Here But Gone"


----------



## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

almostsingle30 said:


> I wasn't withholding sex from my h. I was attracted to him, but I think I was going thru a bit of a depression/stress time. I loved(still do) spoon much, but I took him for granted.


Were you or were you not withholding sex & intimacy from your husband for a year?
I only want clarification because you seem to be contradicting yourself on this subject and it really matters.

If you were then tell me why and what was going on between you because of it.



almostsingle30 said:


> Fyi, there is no 3rd party involved, he is just very depressed and resents me for not being intimate with him the past year, so I feel now he is holding back. It is spook draining!!!


----------

