# Should we have another baby?



## hillybug (Jun 26, 2010)

My husband and I have been married 5 years, and have two children together, ages 4 and 2. 

We are dealing with a lot of problems in our marriage, things that have really been issues since we've been married, but have escalated the past year or so. 

My question is: is it wise for us to bring another baby into the mix? I really want to have another one. My husband doesn't really care to have another, although he is not totally against the idea but he's just happy with the two that we have. I know maybe it would be best to wait until we resolve our issues, but I'm not sure how long that will be. It's things that that I think will take time. But I don't want to wait 4 or 5 more years to have another baby. I would like to plan to have another one in about 2 years.


----------



## strawberry (Jun 21, 2010)

snice you already have 2 and having marraige problem from the day you said I DO. i don't think you ought to be pragnent again. kids = responsibilty and time spend on care and worries about their well being. + marriage prob. its going to be a hugh undertaking esp. if u get a div. 

due to past prob. between hub n i, i was worried about having more kids and being able to take care of my babies and work at the same time. so maybe you need to ask yourself, can you be a single working mother taking care of 3 kids? i'm not good with stress but i know i will be able to take care of things and my only child.


----------



## Susan2010 (Apr 19, 2010)

I can see the first child, but not the second or any more if there were problems since the marriage began. And to say it has been 5 years plus anticipating at least as many more years to resolve those problems actually means the problems will never be resolved. Nothing takes that long or ever should. That you are considering another child and asking strangers to help you decide says a lot. You and your husband both need counseling and you need marriage counseling. Acting on your own has gotten you nowhere except having babies.


----------



## hillybug (Jun 26, 2010)

I was married young, at 19. My first child was not planned. I was on the pill, but there is a small percentage of women who it's not effective for, and I got prego. I did plan my second child...I knew I wanted more children, and that I wanted them fairly close in age.

At the time, we didn't see our issues as anything to be concerned about. I guess we were just thinking that they would resolve themselves. But after 5 years, they have only become worse...so we are working on resolving them. I honestly don't know how long it will take to resolve our issues...I'm not necessarily saying that it will take 5 years. I just don't want to wait that long to have another baby, if we decide to have another one. I don't want to have 2 older children, and a baby.

I'm not asking for strangers to decide for me whether I should have another baby. I'm just looking for insight. I don't want to make a rash decision, just because "I want another baby." I'm trying to make a good decision. That's why I have decided to plan 4 years between my 2nd and 3rd (if there is a 3rd), so that I will have time to make a good decision.


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

One of the main reasons marriages suffer after kids is that the mother no longer pays attention to the father - she's too busy! How could you possibly provide him enough attention if you had another baby/toddler under the age of 7?

Unless you have massive babysitting help wherein the two of you are spending 15 hours a week together WITHOUT them - so that he still feels married to his wife, not just an appendage to the 'family,' there is no way you should add another child in the next year or two.

If you wait two more years before getting pregnant and have honestly worked hard to fix the marriage...maybe.

What exactly are you doing to 'fix' the marriage?


----------



## dsfg_lover_001 (Jul 4, 2010)

Well I understand how you feel now,but I think is not a good idea to have another baby.You are going through a lot things now,apparently your life is not stable now.You should think about if it is good for you having another baby.Anyway this is my opinion,thanks for sharing.


----------

