# My depressed wife



## penny2 (Oct 2, 2010)

It started after we had a baby last year. She was laid off from her job during the pregnancy and now stays home with both our kids.

I can feel she is very unhappy and has lost her spark for life.

Shen sleeps a lot. On weekdays I watch the baby in mornings and send my daughter to school, then head off to work. When I come home from work, she complains she is exhausted and I take over care of the kids for the rest of the night. She jumps on computer and goes internet surfing till midnight On weekends, I take on even more load of caring for the kids to give her more personal time. She still complains she is exhausted.

The source of her unhappiness is that she wants to work but cannot find a job in her profession. We do not have any financial problems so my salary covers everything. She is basically unhappy to be a housewife. I work in the same field she has and have helped her by having many friends of mine refer her to positions where she landed interviews. She hasn't received any offers yet and blames me for it. I have prepped her for interviews and asked her to study specific skills. She has not put much effort in studying, I assume because she is too depressed and I get the blame.

I'm finding the situation very difficult and hold in a lot of my frustrations. When I do speak about my frustrations, she threatens divorce. Basically to keep the house in order, I keep my mouth shut and do what I'm told. Nearly everyday she verbally unloads all her frustrations on me. 

For example. She'll ask me why no one wants to hire her and what I'll is 'You must study these areas and you'll land the job. I'll watch the kids so you can do so' She'll start yelling that I'm nagging her and puts the blame squarely on me and the baby. 

Sometimes I don't know if I am doing too much or too little. What should I do? I've asked her to see a psychiatrist but she has refused.


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## Susan2010 (Apr 19, 2010)

You have to stop being afraid of her and her threats. You can't stand this way of life forever, so what are you protecting? It is time to put your foot down and demand she get some help. Stop allowing her to blame you. Stop allowing her to threaten you. And speak up. Next time she threatens, tell her it is okay with you whatever she wants to do. Then ask when will she be moving out and assure her you and the kids will be fine.

If you don't stand up to her, there is nothing anyone can tell you to do.


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