# Benefits vs Negatives of Marriage for Men



## vej36 (Dec 23, 2017)

Well, January 2018 is here and 75% of all divorces have been filed by wives who want out for whatever reason. 

So, what are the *Benefits* vs *Negatives* of marriage for MEN? Let's see if, people can actually articulate intelligent reasons that would benefit Men tying the Noose.....I mean knot?

The negatives are obvious and too numerous to mention.

Thx,
vej36


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## BioFury (Jul 9, 2015)

A committed and loving life partner that you're able to share everything with.

The problem is not with marriage, it's with people. The negative for men is the same as it is for women: if you marry a bad person, then things will go badly.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Perhaps you could list the benefits for woman? You see, for women there are plenty of negatives.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

BioFury said:


> A committed and loving life partner that you're able to share everything with.
> 
> The problem is not with marriage, it's with people. The negative for men is the same as it is for women: if you marry a bad person, then things will go badly.




You don’t need marriage to have a committed and loving life partner you can share everything with. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## musicftw07 (Jun 23, 2016)

I think it's fair to discuss the downsides of marriage for men. I've experienced many of them. But when you try to open a discussion by saying the negatives are "obvious and too numerous to mention", it gives (to me, at least) the impression that you're looking for an echo chamber rather than actual dialogue.

There are some benefits to marriage for men as well, provided he chooses his mate wisely.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

musicftw07 said:


> I think it's fair to discuss the downsides of marriage for men. I've experienced many of them. But when you try to open a discussion by saying the negatives are "obvious and too numerous to mention", it gives (to me, at least) the impression that you're looking for an echo chamber rather than actual dialogue.
> 
> There are some benefits to marriage for men as well, provided he chooses his mate wisely.


Every thread this user has stared has the similar topic.. women are terrible, men are victims.


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## BioFury (Jul 9, 2015)

WorkingOnMe said:


> You don’t need marriage to have a committed and loving life partner you can share everything with.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Someone with morals does.

Burn..... >


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## musicftw07 (Jun 23, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> musicftw07 said:
> 
> 
> > I think it's fair to discuss the downsides of marriage for men. I've experienced many of them. But when you try to open a discussion by saying the negatives are "obvious and too numerous to mention", it gives (to me, at least) the impression that you're looking for an echo chamber rather than actual dialogue.
> ...


Yeah, I've gotten that impression. I lurk far more than I post, and I've seen his threads.

Like I said, it's fair to frankly discuss the issues men face in marriage. But I'm only interested in honest debate. I would venture the OP doesn't have that goal in mind.


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## musicftw07 (Jun 23, 2016)

BioFury said:


> WorkingOnMe said:
> 
> 
> > You don’t need marriage to have a committed and loving life partner you can share everything with.
> ...


...Really?

There is nothing "moral" about entering into a business contract.


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

vej36 said:


> Well, January 2018 is here and 75% of all divorces have been filed by wives who want out for whatever reason.
> 
> So, what are the *Benefits* vs *Negatives* of marriage for MEN? Let's see if, people can actually articulate intelligent reasons that would benefit Men tying the Noose.....I mean knot?
> 
> ...


Here is another take:

"Well, January 2018 is here and 75% of all divorces have been filed by wives who want out for whatever reason. 

So, what are the *Benefits* vs *Negatives* of marriage for WOMEN? Let's see if, people can actually articulate intelligent reasons that would benefit Women tying the Noose.....I mean knot? 

The negatives are obvious and too numerous to mention.

After all, if marriage was any good for women, why do so many women finally accept that they have no choice but to leave after being so happy to marry and we all acknowledge that the women are the ones who work to make relationships work."

That is BS as well.

I suspect at the moment, men take much of the responsibilty/credit/blame for a marriage working, so have slightly more at stake. At, divorce is frequently a good financial deal for women to ease out.

But, it is not about a legal contract. You are not agonizing and angry about that. You are upset about a failed relationship and how you relate to it.

This is a good place to vent. I am glad you are here, mate. 

What is your situation.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

There can be some benefits, in certain circumstances, but aside from the special cases, there is no material benefit to marriage over a committed, loving cohabitation arrangement. Whether or not you perceive a social benefit is up to you, and as for morality, that's relative (and to many people, also irrelevant).

a) If she is employed and has health insurance, and you are self-employed or work somewhere that does not provide good health benefits, you can get better and cheaper coverage through her policy. This is a questionable benefit, as in many cases you can get the same coverage through a domestic partner to whom you are not married.
b) If she makes significantly more money, and you stay married (or for at least 10 years and do not remarry if you divorce), then you can get up to half of her Social Security Retirement Income.
c) Certain pensions benefits may only go to a spouse, if she even has such benefits (they are becoming rarer and rarer).
d) If there is a large income discrepancy, then there may be tax advantages if filing jointly.

Then there are mutual benefits, but these can usually be duplicated through legal documents, such as medical power of attorney, etc.

The negatives are largely known, particularly the remaining bias in law and practice if you divorce, when it comes to assets and alimony, and even prenups can't always shield you.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Kids.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

NobodySpecial said:


> Kids.


How so? 40% of children are born to unmarried mothers. It appears that marriage is not a requirement for either sex.


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## MidnightBlue (Nov 20, 2017)

OP doesn’t want legitimate answers. He’s an attention seeking troll who stirs the **** to make it stink.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

There are plenty of legitimate reasons to end a marriage, some of them having nothing to do with some arbitrary decision by the woman that she's had "enough" or whatever.

My ex husband wanted to be a woman, for instance. I had no warning,no red flags. That's a pretty big extreme and not the norm, obviously, but was I supposed to just deal with it and turn lesbian?

Of course not. I chose to end the marriage. 

Circumstances mean everything, and you can't know them from statistics.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Married but Happy said:


> How so? 40% of children are born to unmarried mothers. It appears that marriage is not a requirement for either sex.


For men who want a fighting (albeit a hard fight) of maintaining some custody of their children, marriage helps.


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## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

vej36 said:


> Well, January 2018 is here and 75% of all divorces have been filed by wives who want out for whatever reason.
> 
> So, what are the *Benefits* vs *Negatives* of marriage for MEN? Let's see if, people can actually articulate intelligent reasons that would benefit Men tying the Noose.....I mean knot?
> 
> ...


better yet, let's see if the op can actually articulate intelligent reasons that justify the statement 'the negatives are obvious and too numerous to mention'

i think i know what the deal is vej36, you can't expect from others what you refuse to provide yourself.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

The op has started five threads,most of them are anti woman.He(or she)has never replied to or updated any of their threads.
Pointless pontificating I think.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Every thread this user has stared has the similar topic.. women are terrible, men are victims.


*Trust me! This is, and should not be, a gender-specific malady! Bad, selfish, uncaring and insensitive people come from all stations and walks of life, regardless of their gender!

Always have, and always will, unfortunately!*


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## username77 (Dec 27, 2017)

BioFury said:


> A committed and loving life partner that you're able to share everything with.


You don't need marriage for that at all though.

Marriage is the contract that entitles the other person to half your earnings, if you're a man you'll likely lose custody to your children, and potentially have to pay alimony. That's really all the marital contract is.

The only benefit for a man is if he makes substantially less than his wife and could potentially wrangle alimony from her in the event she files for divorce. But men pay 98% of all alimony, so that's unlikely even if he does make a lot less, courts still heavily favor women when it comes to granting alimony.

I think there are legitimately zero benefits for men to get married today. There are benefits to dating and committing to a woman, but not marrying her. The marital contract is written strictly for the protection of women, historically that's what it was designed for, and its run its course.


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## MovingForward (Jan 19, 2017)

Not sure on the benefit for anyone anymore, my XW cheated, took half my stuff and also got Alimony, had we not been married i would only have a child support payment and would have retained a lot of my own assets so that legal contract cost me about $200k including my 401k, all my savings, the hassle of refinancing the house I purchased as well as an Alimony payment for the next 3 years and i would not have had to pay any legal fee's or been stuck in limbo.

I am not sure what the reason of getting married is these days or if i would do it again, maybe i would but with a good prenup in place.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Well, 100% of my marriages have not ended in divorce . . . yet. But, if someone files, it's not going to be the wife.


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## rockon (May 18, 2016)

Andy1001 said:


> He(or she)has never replied to or updated any of their threads.


Leec?


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

Well since the OP opened this can of worms I will add my two cents. The problem is with the institution of marriage itself. It is a man made institution which served its purpose. That is no longer the case. Marriage and divorce statistics prove that. Men and women are delaying if not simply avoiding ever getting married at all. Divorces among long term marriages is on the rise. Women have more options, sexually, financially, and professionally. Society is slowly recognizing and adapting to this reality. About the only people who still defend the institution of marriage are those who are currently married, or the religious who claim some type of moral superiority on the basis of their superstitions. As others have posted marriage is a rather undefined business arrangement which has proven to be unworkable in many cases.


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## bkyln309 (Feb 1, 2015)

Lets see for my ex husband. He benefited by not working for 4 years and exhorting 500,000 from my accounts. That doesnt count his endless losing of jobs and time between jobs where I supported him. I also paid down his debts. He also benefited from the divorce when only pays $279/month for both kids and only gets them part time because he didnt want to do a 50/50 split with me. He also gets to claim one child on taxes and gets those benefits though he barely has them. 

So yeah being a man being married and now divorced has been really beneficial and profitable for him. He can basically live a single life and have fun while I carry the burden of raising kids and being responsible. 

I would want to be married to me too. I am essentially the one provider for my family.


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

MidnightBlue said:


> OP doesn’t want legitimate answers. He’s an attention seeking troll who stirs the **** to make it stink.


I think he is upset and hurt. And, yes, bitter from his relationship.

This could be a great place for him to come to if he opens up.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

I think it would be more instructive if the question was reframed a bit. Rather than asking what are the benefits vs negatives of marriage for men, asking what are the benefits vs negatives of divorce for men. The answer to that question is more enlightening as to whether or not anyone should get married in the first place.

In most jurisdictions in the state I live in, and the way divorces are handled here, I could never in good conscience positively support a man getting married if there are children involved, especially if the mother chooses to limit, cut back on, or eliminate her earning, and earning potential. The application of existing divorce and child custody laws are far too draconian and biased. If there is any significant disparity in earning and earning potential, I could not in good conscience support getting married, unless at the very least there is no co-mingling of financials or property.


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

BioFury said:


> A committed and loving life partner that you're able to share everything with.
> 
> The problem is not with marriage, it's with people. The negative for men is the same as it is for women: if you marry a bad person, then things will go badly.


^^^ This. When it comes to people in a marriage, it isn't always one sex who is at fault; it takes two to make it or break it. You've obviously been burned badly by a woman, and for that I'm sorry. It sucks to go through, but not all of us are terrible people. Both my STBXH and I are great people, but we're not good together. This is something that I recognized, and took steps to ensure it didn't go any further. He was unhappy too, but was willing to go through life being unhappy; I wasn't.


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

Ynot said:


> Well since the OP opened this can of worms I will add my two cents. The problem is with the institution of marriage itself. It is a man made institution which served its purpose. That is no longer the case. Marriage and divorce statistics prove that. Men and women are delaying if not simply avoiding ever getting married at all. Divorces among long term marriages is on the rise. Women have more options, sexually, financially, and professionally. Society is slowly recognizing and adapting to this reality. About the only people who still defend the institution of marriage are those who are currently married, or the religious who claim some type of moral superiority on the basis of their superstitions. *As others have posted marriage is a rather undefined business arrangement which has proven to be unworkable in many cases.*


I do agree with you, @Ynot, but also think that it's a matter of the 2 people involved too. If those 2 people work well together, have good communication, and just work as a team towards the same goals, then I think the institution of marriage will work. I think a lot of the problem for a lot of people is that the media sensationalizes relationships into something that they're not. Also, books that we read to our children (Cinderella, for example). Kids are taught this early on, and think that they're either Cinderella or Prince Charming, and that's not the case at all. Relationships are messy and fantastic and imperfect and beautiful all at the same time.


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

username77 said:


> You don't need marriage for that at all though.
> 
> Marriage is the contract that entitles the other person to half your earnings, if you're a man you'll likely lose custody to your children, and potentially have to pay alimony. That's really all the marital contract is.
> 
> ...


Not necessarily these days, no. My STBXH and I entered into our marriage (a first for us both) a bit later in life (him at 43, me at 35). Therefore, we both had things that we wanted to protect should things go south, which they did. We had a prenup done up pre-marriage to protect us both. So, in the end, he walked away with his RRSPs, pensions and finances intact; I walked away with my home, my dogs and finances intact. The only thing that we each needed to pay for are our separate divorce expenses. And, I owed him $1300 for the big items that he didn't want to move out of my home (bed, treadmill, mattress). So, it depends on the situation and whether or not a prenup is involved.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> Perhaps you could list the benefits for woman? You see, for women there are plenty of negatives.


As Lilith, I can list them:

Having a voice and having no ear to listen to my words.
Having no one to listen to my fears.
Having no one to listen to my fears and acknowledge their worth, these my fears.

Having no one to prevent these fears from happening.

Having no shoulder to cry on.
Only having criticism as my comforting deliverance, my fate.

Not allowed to have a voice, when that voice spells trouble or concern.

Not having a man, to hold, to caress, to hold me in return. 
Him holding me, rocking in me..after he has sent, spent his desire in me.
Oh, God, mine never realized.

When I am confronted and disrespected, him not behind me, him looking away. 
Away at something, totally disengaged, totally out of tune to my needs, my troubles.

My loving eyes, never seen, never noticed. When he looks at me, he looks through me.

Him never seeing me, only seeing himself, seeing his troubles, apart from our common needs.

When I hold him close, he is not near. He is somewhere, not with me.
He is with me, on my spot in life, until he gets off, then he goes his own way.

When I go out of my way to do a favor, the favor is ignored, never thanked.
Now, the favor is ever expected. Me setting the precedence, him not the reciprocal.

I love him with all my heart. I will do so.

Do so until, none remains, then I wil do the "Walk away Wife" dance, not a prance.
Heartspent, dejected, I as a wife have no desire to Prance. 
Walking and crying take up all my verdure to endure.

By Lilith, the secretary, with one man under her belt. And he, a bad one, indeed.


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

bkyln309 said:


> Lets see for my ex husband. He benefited by not working for 4 years and exhorting 500,000 from my accounts. That doesnt count his endless losing of jobs and time between jobs where I supported him. I also paid down his debts. He also benefited from the divorce when only pays $279/month for both kids and only gets them part time because he didnt want to do a 50/50 split with me. He also gets to claim one child on taxes and gets those benefits though he barely has them.
> 
> So yeah being a man being married and now divorced has been really beneficial and profitable for him. He can basically live a single life and have fun while I carry the burden of raising kids and being responsible.
> 
> I would want to be married to me too. I am essentially the one provider for my family.


 @bkyln309, good lord, I'm sorry that you're going through (or went through) this, whatever the case may be. That royally sucks, and it amazes me just how much some people will take advantage of others. :-(


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## username77 (Dec 27, 2017)

Ursula said:


> Not necessarily these days, no. My STBXH and I entered into our marriage (a first for us both) a bit later in life (him at 43, me at 35). Therefore, we both had things that we wanted to protect should things go south, which they did. We had a prenup done up pre-marriage to protect us both. So, in the end, he walked away with his RRSPs, pensions and finances intact; I walked away with my home, my dogs and finances intact. The only thing that we each needed to pay for are our separate divorce expenses. And, I owed him $1300 for the big items that he didn't want to move out of my home (bed, treadmill, mattress). So, it depends on the situation and whether or not a prenup is involved.


I agree with you, but then again you have to ask yourself if you have to go through these lengths to plan for the divorce and protect your income and assets before you get married, what's the point in getting married at all? You could've just shacked up and kept your finances separate and achieved the same outcome.


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## bkyln309 (Feb 1, 2015)

Ursula said:


> @bkyln309, good lord, I'm sorry that you're going through (or went through) this, whatever the case may be. That royally sucks, and it amazes me just how much some people will take advantage of others. :-(


My only regret in divorcing him was why I waited so long. Im sick of hearing of all the men say marriage benefits women. It surely does not as most of the former family responsibilities fall to the women. 

Its a big lie manifested by men who want a single carefree life. Most dont or wont take their minor children for a significant amount of time while they troll around with women young enough to be their daughters in brand new cars and houses. Then men say why do I have to pay child support? Because you help create the kids you now dont want to spend time with. Its sad and pathetic really.

So stop the nonense of all my ex wife did was take advantage of me. She was keeping your house, your kids and most likely working outside the home. And how much did the men do to try to keep the spark alive with their wives. I know I worked my butt off to keep my man happy and guess what. He just wanted to do the minimium. And honestly, the more I hear from my now divorced friends, it applies most of the time. 

Not to mention, these men are now single and doing the minimum saying I just want a casual relationship, nothing serious.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

I have read that married men tend to live longer. I can say my W is always looking to keep us(me) healthy with proper eating and regular check up at the doctors. My overall wellness is very good as a result. There are many other benefits to being married(at least for me). I do not have any negatives to speak about. Although my W and I are not perfect we accept who we are and it works for us.


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## MidnightBlue (Nov 20, 2017)

Mr The Other said:


> I think he is upset and hurt. And, yes, bitter from his relationship.
> 
> This could be a great place for him to come to if he opens up.


If he were bitter and hurt and looking to open up, he would do more than post the OP. There would be clarification and responses from him. He knows that:

1) Women bashing happens on a daily basis on this forum, and is deemed acceptable 
2) Negative stereotypes about women are repeated ad infinitum and quoted as fact, and are also deemed acceptable and
3) This always causes a ruckus when women step in and get defensive

He posts nothing more than the thread to start the fight, then sits back and watches it play out.


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

Yeswecan said:


> I have read that married men tend to live longer. I can say my W is always looking to keep us(me) healthy with proper eating and regular check up at the doctors. My overall wellness is very good as a result. There are many other benefits to being married(at least for me). I do not have any negatives to speak about. Although my W and I are not perfect we accept who we are and it works for us.


Even speaking as a rather pro-woman man on this thread (depressing), I think that is misleading. If you have poor health, or are in poverty, marriage will be less likely for you and that would explain it. I am certainly at my healthiest when single.

The reports that show middle-aged men are happiest if there divorce hardly mean a man who is happily married should divorce. These stats are pretty worthless in themselves.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Mr The Other said:


> Even speaking as a rather pro-woman man on this thread (depressing), I think that is misleading. If you have poor health, or are in poverty, marriage will be less likely for you and that would explain it. I am certainly at my healthiest when single.
> 
> The reports that show middle-aged men are happiest if there divorce hardly mean a man who is happily married should divorce. These stats are pretty worthless in themselves.


Every situation is different. I for one would not schedule a wellness visit on my own. If it don't hurt I don't need to see a doctor. My W sees to it and gets me out the door for wellness visits. And, my last blood test indicated very high cholesterol. My doctor said I'm in for a major event in 10 years as a result. If my W did not push me to go, schedule the appointment I would be non-the-wiser.


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## MidnightBlue (Nov 20, 2017)

Truthfully, I’m not seeing much benefit to marriage for anyone anymore. I have 2 1/2 years left with this one and I will never do it again. I can’t see myself even wanting to date again, much less live with another man.


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

bkyln309 said:


> My only regret in divorcing him was why I waited so long. Im sick of hearing of all the men say marriage benefits women. It surely does not as most of the former family responsibilities fall to the women.
> 
> That depends on the family. My family had division of labor where I did some things and the former wife did others. It worked very well for us. I know guys that get walked on by their wives and do everything they ask and I know wives that get walked all over by their husbands. It seems to be more of a personality type that determines it than a gender.
> 
> ...


I'm going to guess that you have more close female friends than close male friends, and it's the opposite for me, which might be why our perceptions are different. We are each hearing and believing those that are closest to us.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

MidnightBlue said:


> Truthfully, I’m not seeing much benefit to marriage for anyone anymore. I have 2 1/2 years left with this one and I will never do it again. I can’t see myself even wanting to date again, much less live with another man.


I guess the real question is why do we need to see a benefit of marriage at all? Does everything we do need to have a benefit attached? 

I understand were you are coming from. I'm happily married. If for some reason the marriage failed I would be content to move on by myself. I may be the oddball but I'm never alone when I'm by myself. If that make sense.


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## MidnightBlue (Nov 20, 2017)

Yeswecan said:


> I guess the real question is why do we need to see a benefit of marriage at all? Does everything we do need to have a benefit attached?
> 
> I understand were you are coming from. I'm happily married. If for some reason the marriage failed I would be content to move on by myself. I may be the oddball but I'm never alone when I'm by myself. If that make sense.



I think there should be a benefit in most actions a person takes. I’m not talking necessarily about tangible things but abstract, as well. A relationship either enhances (benefits) your life or it doesn’t. Most people don’t enter relationships with the expectation that it will have a neutral effect upon their lives. 

Your last 2 sentences absolutely make sense to me. I’m content to be alone and know how to be alone. The idea of it doesn’t bother me in the least. I know how to be my own best company and am never bored when I am by myself. 

I hope your marriage continues to be a benefit to you.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

MidnightBlue said:


> I think there should be a benefit in most actions a person takes. I’m not talking necessarily about tangible things but abstract, as well. A relationship either enhances (benefits) your life or it doesn’t. Most people don’t enter relationships with the expectation that it will have a neutral effect upon their lives.
> 
> Your last 2 sentences absolutely make sense to me. I’m content to be alone and know how to be alone. The idea of it doesn’t bother me in the least. I know how to be my own best company and am never bored when I am by myself.
> 
> I hope your marriage continues to be a benefit to you.


Maybe a better word then "benefit" would be "enriches"? 

My marriage is good. Maybe because we both like to do things together and being alone doing our own thing works for us as well. I attend classic car shows with my cars. My W will go maybe once if the weather is right. Too hot she will stay home. This does not bother me. It is my hobby. Cruising down the road alone to the shows. Give me my time to get lost in my own thoughts. Meeting people with mutual likes (cars) and enjoying the day by doing my own thing is great. My W enjoys her pool(it is her thing) while I'm at a show. She enjoys this time in her own thoughts. If I'm home we enjoy the pool together. We are one but also we are individuals.


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## JayDee7 (Sep 12, 2017)

Benefits for a man as I see it and have lived it for 18 years now:
A friend, best friend, to make lots of memories with, sure I could go from woman to woman traveling and doing new things with each but it is fulfilling to me to bring up things we did ten or twenty years ago together and talk about shared experiences.We plan and have goals which helps drive and motivate me, she is my cheerleader, I tell her she is, and she encourages me and helps me to achieve goals I set or we set, she supports everything I do and has followed me throughout our life together, I would not be where I am today, partner of a professional firm at 40 years old, I believe without her and the kids as motivation. She is mother to my children, my children live in a traditional family where we share responsibilities and she takes on more than I ever could as the mother so that I can do what I have to do outside of the home and for the benefit of our children. She is my lover, after 20 years together, married for 18, she knows me and I know her so well we know how to please each other physically, she knows what I like and she goes above and beyond to please me, sure having sex with lots of women sounds like a lot of fun but I have someone I love and trust and who is willing and able to please me very well, it helps that she is very submissive in bed and willing to do all sex acts I can think of to please me, at the same time I am not cruel and I take her feelings and body into consideration and our shared love and respect for each other makes the sex very enjoyable. When I am sick she nurses me, I call her nurse of the house, she sets my doctor appointments and keeps a watchful eye on my health and well being as well as our kid’s. In the house she cooks , cleans, does the laundry, and I do very little around the house, though I do cook because I enjoy it a couple of times per week, and she likes doing these things for me and the kids, she values the work she does to beautify our homes and serve me and the children.
So for me having a best friend, motivator, lover, nurse, and mother of the children not to mention decorator, stylist, and business partner all rolled up into a sexy woman who loves me and follows my lead is a positive benefit for me. 

I know not all women are willing to follow their husband’s lead and I know not all men are cut out to be good leaders, so a lot of problems start there. Not all women would serve her husband and children like mine does, honestly I think it has a lot to do with culture (Italian-American) and religion (Cathocism) which are both losing ground in today’s society, but both traditionally have defined roles of husband and wife/man and woman that I and my wife have tried to live up to. I may be the macho type of man she needs, and she may be the submissive serving woman I need, it works for us as a couple and as parents very well. When I have done wrong she is forgiving, she gets angry and hurt, but she always forgives and hungers for my love and affection. When she has done wrong (it’s rare) I have chastised her (harshly at times) and have corrected her, but still I forgive her and follow up with love and affection. Marrriage can be great if the couple is compatible. I know not very many women outside of my culture and religion would have a husband who is the macho type, who they answer to, who they treat with respect, who they love but also fear (a bit), who will chastise them and who is stubborn and yet commands so much from them. It is not easy for her, I know that, and I appreciate it a lot, and I show her my appreciation with my time and generoisity and attention. 

So there’s my long story of the positive benefit of marriage as I see it.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I locked this thread because the OP is not participating in the thread he started.


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