# Work place affairs



## frank29 (Aug 22, 2012)

Hi do company's operate a no affairs policy and a no breaking of marriages due to affairs and do they frown that sort of


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

frank29 said:


> Hi do company's operate a no affairs policy and a no breaking of marriages due to affairs and do they frown that sort of


Some do, some don't.

My own employer doesn't. 

However, even if a company doesn't, it would be possible for -in the UK- for someone to be fired for "gross misconduct" over a workplace affair, should they be outed and if it impacted on the employer's PR, the employee's work, etc.


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## messeduplady (May 31, 2012)

My husband had an EA with someone who works in the same company/building. She is a bit crazy and the managers have stepped in now with official warnings after she has repeatedly emailed my husband since NC. 

It has stopped her as she doesn't want to lose her job but it is no where near the punishment I want her to have - I'd like her to feel as bad as I do, not just get a telling off from two managers and thats it. Humililating yes I guess but nowhere near humililiating enough.


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## tonyarz (Sep 15, 2012)

My company says they don't allow affairs, but they don't do anything about it. It is mostly women here cheating on their husbands.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

frank29 said:


> Hi do company's operate a no affairs policy and a no breaking of marriages due to affairs and do they frown that sort of


It varies. many wil lopk the other way unless it is brought to their attention. 

Sometimes it is just a layer of management that will be ok with it. 

the bottom ine is that whether they are against it or will tolerate it one should expose to the company if the spouse i having an affair. Also these thing scan have a predator spin to them. Meaning if a person is in a psotion of autheority especially there can be sexuall harassaments law suits filed.

But if a spouse is in an affair at their workplace pretty much they need to quit that job.


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## frank29 (Aug 22, 2012)

do you think that after being told that a work place affair is happening and the company does nothing about it would that company be held responsible for the break up of the relationship/divorce and all the costs for divorce and heartache that by not acting quickly enough has resulted by them not taking action in the company that brought the two people together


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## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

The company I work for does not have a position about affairs specifically. They do have a sexual harassment policy, but that very much depends on "unwanted" contact. IOW - if both parties are comfortable with it and no one complains, the company will not get involved in a relationship between coworkers.

The one exception is a Supervisor/Subordinate relationship. Those are strictly forbidden and will not be condoned or ignored. 

We recently had a woman get a higher management job over the department where her husband had worked for years. Husband had to transfer.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I work for a small business owner and mostly with men.They're basically all cheating on their wives with employees of our business associates that are here all the time.
It's such a cliche I could vomit.I'm almost positive the boss is also cheating.There have been countless inappropriate things said/done in our office but no one says a word about it.


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## SandyLady80 (Sep 14, 2012)

frank29 said:


> do you think that after being told that a work place affair is happening and the company does nothing about it would that company be held responsible for the break up of the relationship/divorce and all the costs for divorce and heartache that by not acting quickly enough has resulted by them not taking action in the company that brought the two people together


No. Come on... A place of business is in business to make money, not police people's personal lives. They're not responsible for their employees' moral behaviour. I know that when you are hurt, it would be really great if every single last person that had even a tiny bit to do with it were taken out in the street and horse whipped, but that's just not how it works. The two that cheated are responsible, not every single person that maybe, sorta knew or maybe sorta could've said something.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

My company covers up affairs! A high profile VP had an affair with his assistant, and SHE ended up being moved to another dept to protect her! He left his wife to be with her. Zero consequences (at the job, at least).

And another woman who started an affair with a married man now holds a high profile position in the company and is married to her former AP. All glorified, of course. Pfffft!


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## Unsure in Seattle (Sep 6, 2011)

Completely depends on the workplace. There's no official policy where I work, which is a big, corporate place.


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

Sigh. Oil and gas is still "old boys" school of hard knocks. It really is. I have worked for men who have mistresses. And quit. I didn't like the lying he asked me to do. "If my wife calls, tell her I am at the gym". 
And she did call me more than once. Hot and mad. He's not at the gym. Where is he? Leave me outta this crap!!!

I also worked at a very big us based company. Only rule? If you worked in the same department, you had to disclose it. They decided if it violated any policies or not.


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## CleanJerkSnatch (Jul 18, 2012)

GNO/BNO, work place ea/pa, luncheons with coworkers, going out with co workers even with your spouse present, bad idea. If the WS does not care that they are married do you think that the OM/OW will care? Pshhh get real kids, this is all too common


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## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)

In my department, unless you're in the higher upper echelons, no one really cares. I've seen a few women kiss their boyfriends goodbye after going to lunch with them and then exchanging these "looks" with their colleagues when they came back. God knows what they're up to.


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## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

Entropy3000 said:


> It varies. many wil lopk the other way unless it is brought to their attention.
> 
> Sometimes it is just a layer of management that will be ok with it.
> 
> ...


Amen!. NC means just that. AT ANY COST. What is worth more than your marriage???Money? A career? Your nice house? NO. Nothing. My WH had to quit his job to go NC as she was a supervisor, though not his direct supervisor, he worked with her 10hrs a day, 10ft from her- ALL DAMNED day. Yeah. NC was the only way for ME to R.

And to add, it was pretty much common knowledge that my H and AP were 'carrying on'- Nothing done. I still have all of the emails so who knows what could happen one day....


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

What about the using of company assets to conduct the affair ?email computer phone cell phone etc.
Productivity wasted I would think under those circumstances a company would care imo
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CleanJerkSnatch (Jul 18, 2012)

In_The_Wind said:


> What about the using of company assets to conduct the affair ?email computer phone cell phone etc.
> Productivity wasted I would think under those circumstances a company would care imo
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Definitely would care, that is why sometimes advising their mgr/upper/super is probably a good move to place additional pressure and pushing the NC while the WS looks for another job or moves to a different dept, that is if where it will go, most of the time that is where it needs to go for R. If D is the option then BS can move along, easier said than done of course.


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## strugglinghusband (Nov 9, 2011)

In_The_Wind said:


> What about the using of company assets to conduct the affair ?email computer phone cell phone etc.
> Productivity wasted I would think under those circumstances a company would care imo
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



What kind of employee are they really? One who carries on a workplace affair, trustworthy,loyal, dedicated, ummm NO they have proven they are not capable of those words...
Sorry you wouldnt be working for me very long, somehow someway, you would be job performanced right out of your job.

It's a sad work place where this type of behavior would be tolerated.


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## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

strugglinghusband said:


> What kind of employee are they really? One who carries on a workplace affair, trustworthy,loyal, dedicated, ummm NO they have proven they are not capable of those words...
> Sorry you wouldnt be working for me very long, somehow someway, you would be job performanced right out of your job.
> 
> It's a sad work place where this type of behavior would be tolerated.


Its true. I cant begin to tell you how many hours my H and AP spent 'flirting' via email, phone and in person. Caused lots of late nights on his part to make up for the work he hadnt done all day...and yes he was working(she had gone home at night which is why he was more productive then) ARRRGGHHH! So yes, I can imagine that if the company had looked they would likely NOT have been happy with all the non-productive time spent stroking each other's ego's.


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## Juicer (May 2, 2012)

frank29 said:


> Hi do company's operate a no affairs policy and a no breaking of marriages due to affairs and do they frown that sort of


My employer set one up. 

If they find out you are conducting an affair with someone outside the company, that is not a client, you are safe. They don't care. 
If you have it with a client, you are getting the can. 
If you have it with a coworker, you are both canned. 

And no one is safe! Your rank won't protect you at all! Nor will the amount of money you bring in. 
We recently had the HR president and an accountant fired for carrying out an affair back in June.


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

We have to 'e-sign' an online form annually that covers:
Inappropriate workplace fraternization, sex harassment, and inappropriate conduct with clients. The online form has a check box for a hardcopy of the 4 pg document. (The treaty ending WW II w/Japan was 1 pg if I'm not mistaken!)


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