# Stressed and Depressed and don't know what to do!



## Randi (Dec 23, 2008)

My husband and I have been married for 10 years and it is a second marriage for both. I really want this to work because I love him and feel we are at a stage in life where we should be enjoying life and offering support and companionship to each other as long as our health is good. I am 60 and he is 74. I feel like he is wasting the few good years we have left. He had the reputation of being very stingy and a workaholic when I met him but he seemed totally different and really convinced me that he wanted nothing more than to enjoy life and start slowing down in order to do the things we wanted. Money should not be a problem as he is pretty well off but it has become a big issue.

It was that way in the beginning but now he has gone back to his "old ways". He works seven days a week and 10 or 12 hours a day. We never have time to go any where or do anything anymore because he is too busy. He is suppossed to be preparing his son to take over the business but now he spends all his time with him at the office. This has been going on for about five years now and is getting worse not better. His son is supposed to be taking the load off and giving my husband free time but that isn't happening.

Now he nickles and dimes me about everything. I have been working for him since we got married and left a pretty good job with the idea we would be a team.. Even though I worked hard and made many improvements he started trying to avoid paying me for my work. He also became very secretive and started making deals without telling me and having conversations with his son in the back room so I wouldn't know what was going on. Where before we did everything together, he gradually began to push me out of the picture and involve his son more and more. He started cutting down on my work time and the money he gave me as well. He still expects me to pay all the same bills and expenses, including all the groceries with half as much money. It's not enough. If I tell him I don't have enough for the expenses he tells me if I don't work I don't get paid. It's a vicious circle because I go to work and he tells me to go home he doesn't have anything for me.

He doesn't even give Christmas presents to my sons anymore and tells me to take care of mine and he will take care of his. I have been laid up with a surgery now for three months and he hasn't given me a dime. I have no workers comp or unemplyment because I work "under the table". He didn't even offer to help me with their presents this year.

He won't fix anything around the house and it is getting run down. When I ask him about painting or fixing it up he tells me if I want it done I can pay for it. Then he tells me I am a spoiled brat because I want the house fixed up. If money was a problem I wouldn't mind waiting but it isn't and he can well afford to do some updating. Absolutely nothing has been done in 10 years.

I have tried talking to him but he just gets angry and storms out and goes to the office. I have suggested counselling but he won't go. I asked if he wants a divorce but he says no that he loves me. he certainly isn't acting like it. I am so sad and depressed most of the time. All he cares about is making more and more money but doesn't want to spend any to enjoy life or even help his family. Is there anything I can do? Please suggest something. I could use some good advice.


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