# I think my wife has depression, how can I help!



## bitlost (Nov 25, 2017)

Hello
I believe my wife was a depression, how can I help her if she'd being so aggressive and moody and losing her self esteem?
I want to help but can't get hurt through the process.
She refuses to see a therapist!


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## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

Sorry man, the worst thing about this is not even the depression right now, it's the fact she won't get help. And from what many will I'm sure tell you, including myself. Trying to convince someone they need help for their own good actually makes it worse for you, when they don't think they need it. They will throw it back on you, that's sadly how it work most of the time. 

Do you have young children? 

Is there family that you can talk to that she would trust and value their opinion? Particularly family that sees her on a normal basis and recognizes the same behavior as you do? Would be nice if you could get that person to talk to her, without letting her know you put them up to it.

Do you have any ideas, honestly, what could have brought out the change in her behavior? Has she been a pretty happy or content person before this?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

bitlost said:


> Hello
> I believe my wife was a depression, how can I help her if she'd being so aggressive and moody and losing her self esteem?
> I want to help but can't get hurt through the process.
> She refuses to see a therapist!


Those don't sound like the symptoms of depression. In what ways is she being aggressive?


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Sounds like depression.
Sounds like frustration.

She is angry at the way things are.
She is angry at 'her' present situation.
She is angry at herself for not being able to 'break free' from this mess she imagines.
She is angry at you because you are nearby. You catch the collateral flak and most of the blame.

She is angry, likely because she blames 'mostly' you. And she cannot break free from you.
She is angry because you will not change into her 'Prince Charming'. Whatever/whomever that is.

Likely, you are not wealthy enough, loving enough, compassionate enough, helpful enough........in 'her' mind.

I suspect part of the issue here is chemical. Her bodies chemistry is out of whack. 

Does she drink? Does she suffer from hangovers.
Does she get enough sleep, or enough quality sleep?

This is a very common human condition. It is.

The answer lies within her, not you. 
She is not mentally well, both of you suffer.

This is a shame.
Again, a common one.



SunCMars-


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## bitlost (Nov 25, 2017)

I believe I'm a huge reason of the situation! But I'm putting much efforts to fix things until lately it seems useless whatever i do. She is very upset of her life situation, the financial situation, the kids and eventually everything. As if life was to be without any suffer. It's hurting me that I've to bare all snaps because I love her but she not seeing it.


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