# I'm not a princess - this ain't a fairy tale....



## Merin07 (Dec 10, 2008)

Sooo, I haven't been here in awhile. I wish I could say I haven't been back because my husband and I are better - but judging from the title of this post I'm sure you can guess otherwise. Lets see where to start. I know I left the last post saying that my husband made me a nice dinner and whatnot...well that was short lived. The next day it was pretty much back to normal (its sad that my normal = crappy) anyway - I ordered The Five Languages of Love and read the whole book on Tuesday. It pointed out a lot basically that I am quality time and my husband is physical touch. The part that struck me was to do all the steps for your partner even if they don't reciprocate. Well that is hard for me. If your not nice to me - Im not going to be nice to you and thats basically where we are. After I got home from work on Tuesday - I was in a good mood, I was going to put everything I learned in the book to use. Well when the husband got home the first thing he said to me was "Tape Ellen Im going to play video games with my friends" I calmly said, "no, I am watching Ellen - I just got home and want to relax" And that is when the tantrum started. I was called every name and then he thru the whole working thing in my face saying, "Just caused you worked today doesnt mean you can be a BIT**". Well okay, lol I didnt know I was being a BIT** but the fight ended with me leaving and going home. I ended up staying at my parents house for the night - he kept calling me but I wouldnt answer. So Wed I decided to come home. He was here when I got here - I didnt say much to him. We tried talking and he apologized and that face of an angel comes out just when he needs it too. He lays on a line about not knowing if I was going to come back and blah blah. I just came out and told him A. "you can't talk to me like that - its so mean and stupid" and B. "NO MORE VIDEO GAMES" well that went over well at first (he thought I was joking and I would just give them back because Ive done it so many times before) Well Thursday comes everything is okay - nothing special hes just being obnoxiously nice saying, "you are so beautiful", "I am so lucky" I just looked and said "thank you." I don't really believe it but (he obviously hasnt read the 5 languages book yet because if he did he would know that words of affirmation is not my love language) Well today was a different story - I've stuck to my word about the video games and because we had a blizzard I didn't have to work and get got to come home early sooo he automatically thought that was going to get him his game. He even went and snow plowed the driveways. When I didn't give him the game he thought it was be fun to do shots of whiskey. So instead of spending time with me he gets drunk and passes out on the couch at 4:30 this afternoon. I have been in the house ALL Day and I am slowly going crazy so I asked if he wanted to play the WII with me (fun family games - unlike the killing ones he plays on xbox) He said no so I tried to play it on my own. It wasnt hooked up so it was fault (still drunk at this point) decideds he wants to fix it and is knocking everything over and making a mess I didnt say anything I just went to pick it up and he yells at me "don't touch anything". I am just at a loss. I gave hiim the book - I am not going to force him to read it. I just can't bring myself to be physical with him when I want to punch him (not literally) everytime I see him. He just makes me angry and the last thing I want to do is give him what he wants. Thanks for reading - if you even made it this far. lol. And thanks in advance for the advice. :scratchhead:


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## John (Dec 20, 2008)

WOW! This Guy is a real JERK! If my wife was as willing to play wii with me I would fall on the floor. I like your husband just don't understand how a women thinks. But I do think like a man lucky for you, men want sex it's easy treat him like a kid when he does what you want you reward him. So when he does anything to make you happy you tell him that his reward will be you will give him mind blowing sex. HE WILL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT WHEN YOU WANT!!!!


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

The five love languages is a good book, but you two need to work on your boundaries. He might be childish, immature, and a jerk sometimes, but you can limit the extent of his emotional manipulation by learning how to effectively place boundaries. 

_Relationship Resuce_ book and workbook by Dr. Phil is good. And also _Boundaries in Marriage_ book and workbook by Dr. Townsend and Cloud. My H and I do this one together and it has stopped these kinds of ridiculous fights. You can also google 'setting personal boundaries' and read online.


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## humpty dumpty (Nov 26, 2008)

no its not a fairy tale and you wont get a happy endding unless you dump the video games .
your husband is addicted to them and both of you need to find a way of feeling that time together .
talk and comunicate with each other ask him to see if he can give them up for a month to rebuild the closeness you both deserve. im sure the first week will be hard and you will have to be jolly and tell him how much it means to you ... use the time to massarge each other get to know each other again..


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