# Does it get better?



## ttome77 (Jan 18, 2013)

The title is a bit melodramatic. The quick version of my story.
Married about 9 years, one 7 yr old son together, STBXW doesn't work, I made a great living, and a few months back we just got back from a nice family vacation and two weeks later she says, I think things are broken. We try counseling although it felt like she wasn't into it.

Flash forward to now. Divorce process dragging on. Still living in same house. I lost my really good job, have another but much lower income. 

Son is starting to show some signs of this affecting him, not as happy (to be expected) and not enjoying school (could be normal).

I just feel like I've lost so much. The divorce totally blindsided me, not saying we had a perfect marriage, but I had no idea she was so unhappy, and when I asked why she didn't come to me sooner and say, hey if things don't change, or i need this, or something, she responded, I shouldn't have had to say something like that. So I know she mentally checked out.

And I went through all the bad thoughts, sadness, guilt, anger, shame.

Now I just want this process to be over. Losing family, 50% of time with child, lost a great job, losing 50% of assets, not sure what I'll owe in maintenance, and on top of all that, nights I don't have my son I often feel lonely. I let my social network lapse a little. I have family and friends, but most of my friends are married and spread across the city, so hard to see them on a consistent basis. And because we are still living together, I feel stuck in limbo, like I can't start planning anything new.

I just feel like I've lost or am about to lose so much, and I had nothing but the best intentions. I'm still sometimes shocked that we're actually going through with this, how much its just blown up my world, and that she seemed to give little thought to how this would impact our son. That's where I still have anger/bitterness, he just wants his family to be together.

Rationally, I know I still have a lot to be thankful for, but man, its hard to look ahead and figure out how there are going to be good times. 

I'm not a quitter, I want to rebuild my life, but sometimes it just seems overwhelming.


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## lee101981 (Sep 6, 2012)

One day at a time! I know things look dark right now but trust me the sun will shine again. You need to focus in you and your son.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

this part really ****s me . we're suppose to talk more , be more open , read her like a book but hey . my wife didn't talk enough if she did i wouldn't be going through this either.
and she didn't read me like a book , everything she'd been assuming and based her decision to rip us apart on was a f'g mile off . but she checked out anyway so.

but yeah it passes in time , like lee said , one day at a time, baby steps . 
but T , i never get the hurry for a D thing , from what i can tell it's only been a few mths.
things might change , she night regret it and limbo , mate ease up on your self . hasn't been long , it'd prolly be a bit silly to rush off into anything right now . day at a time for now mate .

i feel disgusting saying this but yeah , bit by bit , it moves a long and the odd smile begins breaking through .
never thought i'd be doing it but 4mths for me and i do feel so much better again right now.
lots of lapses , roller coasters , but it seems to be settling in now and i've noticed the same around here with others too.

hang in there and don't be in such a rush. ease up on yourself , let things work themselves through.


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

Ttome
Click on both links on my sig line. Change your outlook, change your life.


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