# Question



## Bodhitree (Dec 29, 2011)

Looking for some input here. Yes, female input.

Last fall, after two years of denials, finally forced my SO clean with proof of sexual activity. Remember, together 22 years, never married , raised daughter who is out of college and on her own now. Here is link from fall if interested. http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/137721-finally.html

Needless to say, I've had a hard time getting over this. But SO asked if I'd go to counseling, and so we have been since the fall, about once every three weeks. It's going okay, but I still feel bad inside - don't know if I can ever trust her again. I kicked her out in November, she now has apartment. Gave her a little money, but she hasn't asked for any more.

Gradually been doing more things together.

Now to my question. I am asking this seriously. I have a young girl that works for me, about half my age- a college student. She's a really good student. She's worked with me about a year now- I am her supervisor. Every so often, I'd text her something- and she'd answer back- and that was it.

Well the other night, I remembered I wanted her tell her something at work the next day. She replied with a joke. Long story short, that led to about 30 back and forths over a two hour period.

Tuesday, a few back and forths. On Wednesday, she was preparing to leave the country for a few weeks- flying overseas. At around 6:30 AM I get a text from her. I respond. Then probably another 25-30 back and forths until her flight in the afternoon.

I didn't expect to hear from her again for a while because of international texting etc. Well, around 9:30 am my time 5 texts from Europe. I responded admittedly.

Nothing sexual, nothing hinting at sex or anything like that. She's an attractive young lady though. But I feel that if my SO saw this she'd blow a 50 amp fuse. But nothing like the sex fill garbage my SO was texting during her affairs.

I'm not trying to be funny- in you opinions' is there anything going on here?- from a woman's perspective? I don't want to get a young innocent woman involved in something - the word around my work is that SO and I are separated- which we are- so maybe she knows that. Or is she just being nice and filling me in on what's happening on her Europe trip?

I find it hard to comprehend a girl my daughters age would be interested in me. But I am in good shape, and look a lot younger than I am- but I talk openly to this girl about my daughter so i'm not hiding anything. Anyway, not sure how to read this exactly. 

You can lambast me if necessary. But again, don't want her to get hurt- but not sure if this much contact means anything.

Thoughts please.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

First, I'm a male.

You are no longer in a relationship so you are free to do whatever you want. I still think you need to settle things with your Ex. Are you getting back with her or not? You seem a bit confused when you say "she would get mad". Why would she, you are no longer with her? It's over no?

As far as your relationship with co worker. Never EVER get involved at work, ESPECIALLY AS A BOSS.

HUGE HUGE mistake. This can turn ugly SO fast it's not even funny. You are setting yourself up for a complete failure.

There is also PLENTY of fish in the sea. Why aren't you dating/looking for new SO?

First, you might want to get over your ex, cause sounds like you still have some feelings? 

I never EVER recommend dating at work. Rule of thumb to me. Over the years I have seen so many of these relationships gone wrong (some weren't even boss> employee). Boss employee one takes the cake though, most dangerous BY FAR.


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## dormant (Apr 3, 2012)

Without more information, these comments may or may not apply. You stated you and she talk about STUFF on a regular basis. It soulds like she considers you a good friend. SHe might not have many friends. I would just enjoy the reach-out and not try to read anything into it.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Either commit to your wife 100% or let her go. If your plan is to attempt R with your wife, lose the OW. You are opening a door that you have no business opening if you want to work on your marriage.

As for this co worker, who knows why she would be interested in you. Why is anyone interested in anyone? If you DO decide to D, THEN pursue her. NOT before.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

She is texting you because she likes you, but you are her boss and much older than her. That is not a good combination. Stop responding to her texts. 
If you went to look for a new woman, look for someone you are not in authority over.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

The penis wants what the penis wants. I get that. Don't mess with your livelihood. EVER!

Her fruit is so forbidden there's a snake nearby.


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## jay1365 (May 22, 2013)

I am also a male, but I know flirting when I see it. And that's exactly what this is.


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

You say you go to counseling with SO. Then commit to that instead of looking for another relationship.

You say you don't want to get a young innocent woman involved. Guess what, You already did.

Stop replying to the texts. If she asks why, then tell her to have fun on her trip.. she needs to enjoy it. Then when she's back, tell her you & your SO have had some difficulties, and you need to focus on that relationship.

IF you and SO complete separate (Like agree that you are not seeing each other anymore, or trying to reconcile, ).. then.. then.. months later, then you can try to find someone your age to go out with. Do not encourage this young college student to break her heart.


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