# How To No You No Longer Need A Therapist



## sczinger

I started IC about 2 weeks after my now XWW told me she was leaving. About 6 months ago. I was fortunate enough to find a really experienced, faith-based gentleman that has published many articles on the national level and has over 40 years in his field. Along with my large, supportive family and friends, he has been an integral part of my healing process. He has never told me what I want to hear but has allowed me to speak at length until I, sometimes, answer my own questions.
I always look forward to seeing him. Initially, we were meeting about every two weeks up until a month ago. I will see him tonight and am thinking to myself, "I don't have that much to talk about."

When do you know you no longer need to see your therapist? It's not a matter of the expense. Mine is "priceless". I just don't want the substance of my visits to become watered down. Who makes the decision to end it? The therapist or myself.


----------



## SentHereForAReason

sczinger said:


> I started IC about 2 weeks after my now XWW told me she was leaving. About 6 months ago. I was fortunate enough to find a really experienced, faith-based gentleman that has published many articles on the national level and has over 40 years in his field. Along with my large, supportive family and friends, he has been an integral part of my healing process. He has never told me what I want to hear but has allowed me to speak at length until I, sometimes, answer my own questions.
> I always look forward to seeing him. Initially, we were meeting about every two weeks up until a month ago. I will see him tonight and am thinking to myself, "I don't have that much to talk about."
> 
> When do you know you no longer need to see your therapist? It's not a matter of the expense. Mine is "priceless". I just don't want the substance of my visits to become watered down. Who makes the decision to end it? The therapist or myself.


Good question. My MC turned into IC only about a month in after EW gave up on it (never was in it anyway, just did it so she could say she did to her family). I have been going for a good 10 months now. I would say about 2 1/2 months ago it went from every week to every two weeks. I am now about 3 weeks past the official divorce and 2 months past her moving out. I think it is time that I change it to at probably once every three weeks and shortly after, maybe once a month. Like you said, it's not that it's not helpful but the things to talk about are not as plentiful as I move on.

I think it would be smart to just keep going at least once a month. In terms of who ends it, I would say 99/100 times, that it's up to you. This is different than the likes of an AA program or something of that nature. It goes differently depending on the client, some people need it more than others for healing. As you have said, it has been priceless and with me still having 2 younger kids, I think that will play a part in me continuing to go over the next few years as I get indirect help for them.


----------



## Ms. GP

Congrats to you for staying the course! I felt the same way when I decided to stop ic. It felt like we were talking more about her than me anyways. I felt like I had been given the tools and had a good support network to figure things out on my own. I would easily go back if I felt I needed too. I would bring it up with the IC. Do you feel you can see your part in the demise of the relationship? Do you see some of the red flags that maybe you missed? Has the anger dissapated towards your exspouse? Not trying to put you down or anything, but ultimately you are the only person you can control. Good luck.


----------



## arbitrator

*When their counseling is doing me absolutely no good, or whenever the amount of their bill starts to infringe upon my operating budget or continued need for their services!*


----------



## Lostinthought61

you don't have to go every two weeks or every month if your day to day experience is normal...but when a trigger or an event flares up or when something bad happens then make an appointment on a need only basis. you control the narrative of your life.


----------



## cc48kel

I would say how you feel about going. Years ago, I needed IC every 2 weeks. I looked forward to seeing and talking with her. As I got stronger I didn't need IC every 2 weeks. So then I went once a month and then took a couple years off. Or until I needed to get thru something else. : )

Don't feel obligated to go based on the therapist. You go when you need too.


----------



## NextTimeAround

What made you decide to get counseling?

Because?

1. you couldn't concentrate on a day to day basis?
2. you were alienating people close to you by talking about your problems too much
3. you were spilling your business to anyone who would listen
4. and so on.......

IF these problems don't prevail anymore, maybe that's an indicator.


----------

