# Wife admits laziness



## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

We average sex once every week or two. If Im lucky there will be a couple lackluster HJ in there somewhere. BJ's generally consist of 6 seconds "B", the rest with "H".

The other day I went to visit my wife at work and she was wearing a pair of fake glasses (I have a dress-up fetish) and she was hinting at oral later that night. Lucky me.

So night finally comes and we start fooling around, and she tells me she wants straight Sex. No B, no H, just sex. Well I told her it would be a shame to buy the glasses without using them. To which she replied that Id get the "full effect" in the near future. Well I talked her into a little "B" (6 seconds, give or take) and then it was straight to sex.

Sex with my wife is dull. She just lays in missionary, or kneel's in doggy. We are talking dead fish here. Lucky me...?

I brought it up with her the next night as we were sitting in front of ye' old fire pit. Asked her what about oral she doesnt like, and if it was something I had any control over. She told me she doesnt have a problem with performing oral. She is just too lazy to do it.

This talk happened last week Monday, and I havnt brought it up since. Im really not sure how to continue on with this convo. I can be honest with her, and tell her Im insulted and hurt that she, my wife, doesnt think Im worth the effort. But our sex life has been in shambles for a couple years now. I realised I was going about it the wrong way, and I have changed. Its a work in progress but Im making strides to keep her, and my marriage happy.

Any thoughts?




Guys, Im at a point where the low-amounts of poor quality sex have almost completely turned me off from my wife. 

We have had many conversations about this in the past, and I have told her it is a marriage issue that needs to be discussed but all she tells me is, "Ill make more effort". Then I usually get lackluster sex 2-3 over the next couple days, and then a dry spell that will last weeks, because "Ive gotten a lot lately."

Im just pissed off and hurt. I can understand if she is not into sex (Although she adamantly says she is interested), but if she isnt opposed to it, why wont she do it?

id appreciate all feedback, critisiszm, etc.

Thanks.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

What do you think the issue(s) is? You must have some idea.


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## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

I could hazard a few guesses. I have noticed her becoming more lazy in general since we got married. Maybe she is just too dependent of me, or, I let her get away with doing nothing... Im not sure if this stems from a lack of control, which I think it might. A lack of control or feelings of insecurity, something along those lines... Im new to this whole: "learning about the opposite sex to ensure a happy marriage" thing.


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## nader (May 4, 2011)

Tell her you don't have any problem taking out the trash, paying bills, doing yardwork, etc, but you are just too lazy to do it.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

SockPuppet said:


> I could hazard a few guesses. I have noticed her becoming more lazy in general since we got married. Maybe she is just too dependent of me, or, I let her get away with doing nothing... Im not sure if this stems from a lack of control, which I think it might. A lack of control or feelings of insecurity, something along those lines... Im new to this whole: "learning about the opposite sex to ensure a happy marriage" thing.


Enabler.


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## Roooth (May 13, 2011)

I know once a week doesn't sound like a lot but I think after the desert I've been in, I could be quite pleased with weekly sex! :-/ It's not a lot but could be worse...

...except the laziness. I would never want a lazy lover. That's a marriage issue. Yes, it may be harder to get into it when you're not new and on fire anymore, but for her to just say I'm lazy and that's it is not enough. And it sounds like she's not working on it - due to the laziness!

I don't think it's acceptable. I think you should let her know how you feel like your sex life is no longer give and take and point out the changes you've made to please her. A good relationship is not one way so she should make an ACTIVE effort. Intentions are not enough. It sounds like she needs to know that increased frequency doesn't take care of it. I wouldn't WANT to have sex if my lover became too lazy... in fact, a similar issue, not as bad in some ways but similar, is coming up in my married sex life and I'm wanting to have sex with my husband less. I want to have the good sex; the limited sex will make me lose my interest more. 

This is tough but bottom line: she is not doing her part. And she should enjoy it. If she doesn't fix her mindset to where she enjoys it, it will never last or truly fulfill either of you.


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## Sawney Beane (May 1, 2011)

Roooth said:


> This is tough but bottom line: she is not doing her part. And she should enjoy it. If she doesn't fix her mindset to where she enjoys it, it will never last or truly fulfill either of you.


Why should she enjoy it? Some people who partners who are the sexual equivalents of those kitchen disaster areas who can burn water. You wouldn't expect the partner of someone whose culinary efforts would make a pig retch to enjoy eating what they had ruined. To enjoy something, whether it's sex or food, it has to be of a sufficient quality, not something you choke through because it's there and you don't have a choice.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

nader said:


> Tell her you don't have any problem taking out the trash, paying bills, doing yardwork, etc, but you are just too lazy to do it.


I actually like this. Because yes it sounds like you are an enabler.


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