# We are DONE!!



## JazzTango2Step (Apr 4, 2011)

Last Sept. my husband cheated on me with an old girlfriend. Thats old news now, but I've been struggling with it ever since then.

Over the last couple weeks my husband has been pressing for a divorce and I really had no idea why. He blamed it on my depression, so I got help for it. I went on antidepression and anxiety medication. I actually started to feel very good in a short period of time and he seemed a lot happier. He'd swing by my work to sneak some kisses and talk, and we were very pleasant company for eachother.

Well he admit to me that he had been speaking with another girl for a couple months and sometimes wished she was me. I told him I understood since my depression closed off a lot of doors for him, but he won't have to speak to her anymore to fill that gap since we've been communicating so well. Well, he wouldn't stop talking to her.

I also gave him his freedom. As much as he wanted. He used it to spend ALL last Sunday with this "phone girl". When he came home I was PISSED. He told me she was just a friend and that I've always stopped him from having friends and it wasn't fair that I was acting this way. I told him she needed to go, or we couldn't work anything out.

I even called her and she told me "She wasn't going to have this conversation with me" and hung up on me. My husband had a long talk and at the end of the talk, he told me he wanted to work things out between us but he didn't want to stop talking to this other girl.

I couldn't sleep Sunday night. At 3am Monday I got up and checked his phone. I found "I love you, can't wait to see you babe" messages between them. When he woke up for work, I confronted him with it. He denied it, and I told him that I personally saw the emails on his phone. I told him I was done. I'm not working for it anymore. **** him. I'm out. I also got a return phone call from this girl on Monday. She said that they were madly in love and she didn't mean for it to happen, but it did. She pretty much told me "tough ****, we're in love so butt out".

I called my dad. He was furious. Tuesday morning while my husband was at work, my dad traveled 3 hours, packed me and the baby up, and we left. Of course my husband was pissed when he came home...but imagine how I must feel.

I am filing for divorce asap and getting my life back.


----------



## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

Good for you!!! Stay strong, be proud of yourself. It's horrible news that your marriage is over, but GREAT news your life gets to start again!


----------



## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

I really wish you the best for your future.


----------



## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

I'm sorry you are having to go through this. ((hugs)) Now, can I just say, are all of our cheating spouses the same?!?!?!?!?!?! The words "just a friend" really stood out at me as if it was flashing neon. NEVER EVER EVER believe they are "just a friend". Seriously. If your spouse feeds you that line, they are more full of bullsh!t than all the cows here in Iowa. What a load. Yup, I heard all the same things you have talked about in your post. "just a friend" (gag me) "I'm not doing anything wrong" (yet, you have the proof in your hands. The text messages.) The texts were how I caught my ex and of course he denied it. I'm sorry for your pain. I also gave my ex another chance after cheating on me before only for him to do it again. I think you are doing the right thing by filing for divorce.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

JazzTango2Step said:


> I even called her and she told me "She wasn't going to have this conversation with me" and hung up on me.
> 
> I also got a return phone call from this girl on Monday. She said that they were madly in love and she didn't mean for it to happen, but it did. She pretty much told me "tough ****, we're in love so butt out".


What a hag.

Jazz, you're doing the right thing. He wants his safe bet (you) and his sidepiece. Hell to the no. Be done with this chapter and move on


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Oh... is she married, btw? If she is, tell her hub/boyf.


----------



## JazzTango2Step (Apr 4, 2011)

She's not married.

He wants to reconsile. I told him the ball is in his court. He needs to get rid of this girl and go to councelling to get over his issue with cheating. He's setting up an appointment with a counceller but I told him I am DONE. Period. I did ALL the work and I finally gave him his freedom and he threw it in my face. If he wants anything back, HE WORKS FOR IT. I'm NOT anymore.

We'll see what happens, but I'm not waiting around for him anymore. I'm restarting my life.


----------



## Powerbane (Nov 8, 2010)

Stick to your guns! 

He's got a lot of heavy lifting to do to show you he's really remorseful and ready to win you back. He needs to show you that he's changed his cell # or at least blocked hers. Same thing for email. He needs to write a No Contact letter and mail it to the OW. 

Take a swing by Marriage Builders ® - Successful Marriage Advice for some other sage advice. I would recommend you get Surviving an Affair by Dr Willard F Harley.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------

