# Hurting in silence



## Snookiebluestar9 (10 mo ago)

My husband won’t stop having all these females and mainly exes on his social media. There is one in particular that has been a problem since the beginning of our marriage and I’m so tired of him thinking he isn’t doing nothing wrong. He has done me so foul I don’t know what to believe any more! I cry because I don’t see how we been together this long and we still have the same problem and he won’t tell me the truth unless I call him out on his crap. I been so depressed being pregnant a third time.


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## Snookiebluestar9 (10 mo ago)

Snookiebluestar9 said:


> My husband won’t stop having all these females and mainly exes on his social media. There is one in particular that has been a problem since the beginning of our marriage and I’m so tired of him thinking he isn’t doing nothing wrong. He has done me so foul I don’t know what to believe any more! I cry because I don’t see how we been together this long and we still have the same problem and he won’t tell me the truth unless I call him out on his crap. I been so depressed being pregnant a third time.


I need some advice asap


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

Snookiebluestar9 said:


> My husband won’t stop having all these females and mainly exes on his social media. There is one in particular that has been a problem since the beginning of our marriage and I’m so tired of him thinking he isn’t doing nothing wrong. He has done me so foul I don’t know what to believe any more! I cry because I don’t see how we been together this long and we still have the same problem and he won’t tell me the truth unless I call him out on his crap. I been so depressed being pregnant a third time.


That certainly explains his lack of attention towards you.
He knows he's doing wrong, but he wants you to put up with it.
I don't think there is a way to fix a philanderer.


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

My advice is he is not worthy of you my dear. Divorce him as a leopard never changes its spots. He has no respect for you. You deserve better.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Snookiebluestar9 said:


> My husband won’t stop having all these females and mainly exes on his social media. There is one in particular that has been a problem since the beginning of our marriage and I’m so tired of him thinking he isn’t doing nothing wrong. He has done me so foul I don’t know what to believe any more! I cry because I don’t see how we been together this long and we still have the same problem and he won’t tell me the truth unless I call him out on his crap. I been so depressed being pregnant a third time.


Can you get a consultation with a lawyer to see how you would come out in a divorce?

Do you have any family that can be a support for you?


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Snookiebluestar9 said:


> I need some advice asap


How old are your other 2 kids?
Conan said the same thing I am.

Do you have someplace you can go? Friends, family?

If he’s got other women on his <virtual> arm then you know he is either banging them already, or soon enough will be. You’re going to be giving birth soon and won’t have any time to be checking up on him or giving him that special attention.

Talk to a lawyer and see what they say.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

Why did you marry him if this has been a problem since before you were married? Knowing this is how he behaves, you still chose to have 3 kids with him. At this point he has concluded that you being married & procreating with him is acceptance of his behavior. 

In your introduction thread you talk about wanting more sex from him because you are horny due to being pregnant but you complain about all ways he is failing you -- no romance, little physical comfort while you are pregnant & now this. 

You have to think long & hard about how you got into this mess. It sounds like he has always been like this but now you are demanding changes he can't or won't give. At best you need MC but I doubt it will change him because frankly he doesn't think any of this is an issue. So you either need to make peace with this is as good as it's gonna get or you walk, with 3 kids to support.


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

He doesn't think you will do anything about it. I assume that you want to try and save the marriage since you are here. As an extreme measure and a wake up call to him, pack up some stuff and say you are leaving. Dont have any contact for 3 or 4 days. After that time, sit down with him and explain how this is affecting you. 

If this doesn't work, then I think divorce should be on the table.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Snookiebluestar9 said:


> My husband won’t stop having all these females and mainly exes on his social media. There is one in particular that has been a problem since the beginning of our marriage and I’m so tired of him thinking he isn’t doing nothing wrong. He has done me so foul I don’t know what to believe any more! I cry because I don’t see how we been together this long and we still have the same problem and he won’t tell me the truth unless I call him out on his crap. I been so depressed being pregnant a third time.


You have the same problem because you accepted it.


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## bricks (Aug 14, 2017)

If we look at your husband's behavior, it is pretty clear that he is perpetually trolling for options. You are not his priority. He is not willing to stop doing this for your emotional comfort or well being or simply because he loves and respects you (he does not, no matter what he says)

But let's look at you. Do you want to spend the emotional and physical energy you have raising fine humans and enjoying them, loving them, and building a life with them? Or would you rather spend your energy crying, struggling to give calm, loving attention to your children, and giving all your energy to a man who uses you, degrades you, and makes you feel the way you do?

He probably has some good qualities. Maybe he is good in bed. Maybe he is funny. Maybe he makes good money. I don't know. You are trading whatever they are for your own mental health, and frankly, the mental health of your children.

Someone far smarter than me once said, "If you have to yell, you have already lost the argument." Time to put on your big girl panties. NO amount of talking, crying, discussing, having sex, or pleading is going to get him to convince him he should stop. He has not so far. When someone shows you what they are, believe them. Stop making excuses in your head for what is being created here and will only get worse as the pressure of raising children grows - a mentally unhealthy and unhappy mom, a strained family life, and unhappy home.

Decide you want better for yourself and for your children. Stop discussing and pleading with someone who probably gets off on the power of watching you do it. Get a plan, without sharing it with him until you are ready to enact it. Divorce attorneys will generally give you a one hour consultation for free. Women's shelters can help you get an exit plan, particularly if he is violent. Surround yourself with moral, strong people who will help you mentally and physically. If that means sharing a home with another woman in a similar situation and raising your children together or moving back in with your parents, don't look at it as a failure. Look at it as something you are doing for yourself and your children.

This man does not REALLY care that he is hurting you. He may have times where he says he does, or makes love to you, but REALLY love you? Nope. You are young and wonderful. Find people who will tell you that. Good luck.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

How are you doing @Snookiebluestar9 ?


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