# My Jerry Springer story. Hard to believe.....



## Bastogne (Aug 11, 2009)

I'm sure a similar story has happened at some point but my situation is pretty unique. I just wanted to get some advice from some people that don't know me personally.

I married my wife three years ago. We have been together as a couple for a total of 12 years. She was the love of my life and I thought everything was going perfectly. We have no children.

In Jan of 2009 she told me that she had an affair with a co-worker and was leaving me to be with him. The other man was also married and had a child. I did what I had to do to deal with the situation and tried to work it out with her but she refused. I moved out of the house and across the country.

I had been to various work functions with my wife and had met the other guy and his wife many times. Once I found out about the affair I emailed his wife and told her everything. She didn't know anything about it and was obviously devastated. Once I moved away she emailed me and told me that her husband had asked her to take him back and that he was sorry. My wife called me crying and I told her I knew what happened and she asked what I knew. I told her about the email and she had no idea that he was going back to his wife. Obviously she was very upset. 

After this all happened I stopped talking to the current wife and my wife and I were friendly and talked every once and awhile. Flash forward a few months and the other wife randomly sent me an email to ask how I was doing. We started chatting on IM and I came to find out that her husband had left her about four times during the period we had no contact and she was finally done with him. We chatted on IM for awhile and eventually exchanged phone numbers.

Everything with the other wife and I started off innocently at first but eventually we got to know each other really well and started talking on a daily basis. We came to a point were we decided to meet up for a drink and talk. I flew into town for the weekend and ended up staying for three weeks.

As crazy as it seems the other wife and I fell in love. I have never met anyone like her before and I have feelings for her that I never felt with my ex wife. We both feel the same way and have been talking about a serious relationship for awhile (moving in together, marriage, etc).

While I was out visiting her I stayed at her place and motels. We went to the mall one day and happened to run into her husband (we have both filed for divorce but neither marriage is legally over). Her husband had his arm around a girl that was not my wife. They talked briefly and he didn't make a big deal about her being with me. I then called my wife and told her that she will probably find out anyway but I was visiting the other wife. She hung up on me.

Later that night he calls his wife and freaks out saying that we are pretending to be dating to hurt him and my wife. He thinks that we are sick for doing this. He told his wife that I am crazy and I'm going to harm their son because I stole his wife from him. He called the cops. The cops showed up they thought he was stupid and didn't do anything.

I flew back home and the other wife and I have seen each other a few more times, gone on vacation together, and have grown insanely close. We are completely in love and plan on spending the rest of our lives together.

I found out a couple days ago that my wife got pregnant from the other husband (they are currently not together though) and she plans on terminating the pregnancy. 

I know the story is crazy. People told me that we are crazy to try and be together considering how we met. We don't care. We both feel that God has a plan for everything and maybe we were brought together for a reason.

Sorry this story is so long but it's very complicated and very long. So what do you guys think? Bad idea to pursue this relationship or give it a shot?

On a side note anyone else know of the significant others meeting and having a relationship from their spouses that had an affair together?


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

well, to me and many others, infidelity is a marriage deal breaker...
even in Gods eyes it is ok to divorce under that situation.

I would not make it a jerry springer ordeal as it takes many crazy characters to do a jerry springer episode, I'd just remove myself from the situation and make whatever plans to get away from that person and the marriage.
If you stay under this situation, your going to be sorry.


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## scarletblue (May 20, 2009)

I say, you never know what life is going to throw at you. You do have to realize, however, that since she has a child with her husband, then he's going to be in your lives for the rest of your lives. If you can live with that and deal with that and you have more in common than your spouses sleeping with each other, then go for it.

My hubby and I got together under strange circumstances and I'd never have thought we would have ended up together.


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## NothingMan (Jul 16, 2009)

You can admit it here dude...you enjoyed banging the other guys wife...more then just any woman...right? Like a little payback? Im cool with it. I think it should happen more often. As far as keeping everyone in the loop as far as all the relationships go...at some point you should stop..but if it serves to put the screws to the OM or your soon the be Ex-wife...I say do it. They started this ****, not you. Now you get to finish it by living happily ever after with someone who also knows what its like to be cheated on. Thats a good quality in a person.

My advice is, get a divorce. Wait 6 months to a year before getting married again. Then live happily ever after.




John


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## LaBella (Mar 9, 2009)

scarletblue said:


> I say, you never know what life is going to throw at you. You do have to realize, however, that since she has a child with her husband, then he's going to be in your lives for the rest of your lives. If you can live with that and deal with that and you have more in common than your spouses sleeping with each other, then go for it.
> 
> My hubby and I got together under strange circumstances and I'd never have thought we would have ended up together.


:iagree: I say that if you are 100% sure that she is the one you love, regardless of the circumstance then go for it. Life is too short and sometimes it deals us with things that are unbelivable. Just do not rush, take it slowly, make sure is for real and not just a rebound for what your spouses did. The 2 of you should finish with your divorces, date for a while and after a year or so see what happens, if you 2 are still sure of what you feel, then go for it.

Good Luck


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

I believe this happens quite a bit. 

It's very common to be at a vunerable place with your W screws around on you. Now you are divorcing and still vunerable. I know a relationship helps to fill in the gaps when you have been messed around with and thrown away. It would feel good for anyone to be wanted at this stage. Everyone fears, during and after a breakup, that they will be alone. A rebound relationship is very common. 

So you are in love. Great! Now, it's time to wait. You aren't divorced and you still are grieving over the loss of your marriage. Give it time. Don't rush into another marriage. Date your girlfriend. REALLY get to know her. REALLY see how she ticks. Look for yellow (caution) or red (stop) flags in the relationship. Don't let your feeling for this new relationship cloud your head. Have fun! Just SLOOOOOOOOOW down!


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## Bastogne (Aug 11, 2009)

Thanks for the replies everyone. Just like my friends te response varies a lot.

It does seem like we are rushing into a relationship pretty fast. We are talking about living together soon. Maybe it's justa bad idea to rush it so fast.

From the get go we decided that we would not get together to get revenge back on them. We tried very hard to keep our relationship a secret from them.

We've both agree that we are past the point of a rebound relationship.

I don't know. We still have a long time to work on anything and to think about it.

Thanks again for the advice.


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

Love is love... just make sure she is the one


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

I think where its going to get complicated is with her son. I think your new relationship has a lot of issues. you're going to have problems just like you had in your other marriages- but im sure you know that. all you can do is follow your heart and deal with the problems as they come.


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## Bastogne (Aug 11, 2009)

Totally agree about their son being the biggest issue.

If there were no children involved then the situation wouldn't be that bad.


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