# Polygraph, to take or not to take?



## benjen879 (Jun 9, 2010)

Hi-Unlike most threads I have read here I have been unfaithful; in the emotional sense once, during my marriage. This was 6 years ago and I confessed to my husband that the other man had kissed me (which he doesn’t believe, he thinks I initiated the kiss) within a month of the incident. I also confessed that we had feelings for one another but it was extremely short lived as the OM was going through a divorce and my husband was actually threatening me with a divorce prior to my EA. I was in a very dark and sad place, my husband had always been harshly critical and judgmental of my past (i.e. I did drugs and had been with a girl before). This OM accepted all my previous flaws and we had a great appreciation for one another but I never intended for it to turn into anything physical. So like I said it was one kiss and absolutely nothing else (he basically laid one on me one night he was drunk) So here we are almost 6 years later and my husband still has huge trust issues and wants me to take a lie detector test. He won’t tell me what questions he has so I am perplexed by that alone. Also I am very very nervous about these things not being accurate, needless to say if you Google it there are so many stories about the inaccuracies. So should I take it or not? Really I feel like he should just come out and ask me what it is he wants to know bc I have divulged all the ugly details so what’s left? I do know that he thinks I have been unfaithful since and that couldn’t be further from the truth.


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## benjen879 (Jun 9, 2010)

Just a thought...but could he just be looking for a good solid reason to get out of the marriage without feeling like the bad guy?


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

benjen879 said:


> Hi-Unlike most threads I have read here I have been unfaithful; in the emotional sense once, during my marriage. This was 6 years ago and I confessed to my husband that the other man had kissed me (which he doesn’t believe, he thinks I initiated the kiss) within a month of the incident. I also confessed that we had feelings for one another but it was extremely short lived as the OM was going through a divorce and my husband was actually threatening me with a divorce prior to my EA. I was in a very dark and sad place, my husband had always been harshly critical and judgmental of my past (i.e. I did drugs and had been with a girl before). This OM accepted all my previous flaws and we had a great appreciation for one another but I never intended for it to turn into anything physical. So like I said it was one kiss and absolutely nothing else (he basically laid one on me one night he was drunk) So here we are almost 6 years later and my husband still has huge trust issues and wants me to take a lie detector test. He won’t tell me what questions he has so I am perplexed by that alone. Also I am very very nervous about these things not being accurate, needless to say if you Google it there are so many stories about the inaccuracies. So should I take it or not? Really I feel like he should just come out and ask me what it is he wants to know bc I have divulged all the ugly details so what’s left? I do know that he thinks I have been unfaithful since and that couldn’t be further from the truth.


The most accurate results are gotten from yes and no questions. 

IMO, you need to comply. Refusing to take the polygraph may seem like red flag to me. 

With that said, if you were in love with OM, or have lied about anything to your spouse you MAY FAIL DUE TO NERVOUSNESS.

So, why not fess up to everything now and then you can likely safely take the polygraph. 

It's usually the half lies that trip people up on a poly. 

For example if you were in love during the affair but lied and told your husband you weren't, when they ask the question are you in love, even if you may now no longer be in love with OM, you will be nervous.

So prior to the poly fess up about any possible conflicts.


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## benjen879 (Jun 9, 2010)

Sara8 said:


> The most accurate results are gotten from yes and no questions.
> 
> IMO, you need to comply. Refusing to take the polygraph may seem like red flag to me.
> 
> ...


That is exactly what I am worried about. I know I will be extremely nervous. I would be happy to answer any of his questions BEFORE the test but he won't ask them. He just keeps saying "tell me everything" but I don't knwo what EVERYTHING is:scratchhead: I have told him all the ugly details so what is left?


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

benjen879 said:


> That is exactly what I am worried about. I know I will be extremely nervous. I would be happy to answer any of his questions BEFORE the test but he won't ask them. He just keeps saying "tell me everything" but I don't knwo what EVERYTHING is:scratchhead: I have told him all the ugly details so what is left?


Call and talk to the polygrapher. 

He should only ask yes and no questions. 

Any other type causes ambiguity. 

You will not fail, if you told him everything and did not sugar coat anything. 

Sugar coatings can give a false positive to a question. 

So if you haven't sugar coated you will likely do okay. 

You can still fail a few questions and be deemed as being truthful.

The polygrapher takes all the responses in context. 

Also, if you are the extremely high strung type, you will likely get a high nervousness reading when they ask you your name. 

The reading however will go even higher if you are lying outright.

The tester will average out the hi and lows.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

I wouldn't take a poly for all the money in the world.

Far too much leeway for mistakes
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

tacoma said:


> I wouldn't take a poly for all the money in the world.
> 
> Far too much leeway for mistakes
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Tacoma:

In a criminal court case, I agree, and would fire an attorney who wanted me to take one. 

But in infidelity, the refusal to take one is often seen as hiding something. 

In cases of infidelity a good polygraphed will educate the spouse about false positives. 

If her husband is ok with the refusal, then she will be okay refusing, but if not, it will cause anxiety and doubt


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Sara8 said:


> Tacoma:
> 
> In a criminal court case, I agree, and would fire an attorney who wanted me to take one.
> 
> ...


I agree entirely but a false positive in a poly is going to send her straight to divorce court.

Rock & a hard place for sure
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## benjen879 (Jun 9, 2010)

tacoma said:


> I agree entirely but a false positive in a poly is going to send her straight to divorce court.
> 
> Rock & a hard place for sure
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



That is exactly why I didn't want to do one!!! Yes indeed "rock and a hard place"


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## benjen879 (Jun 9, 2010)

Sara8 said:


> Tacoma:
> 
> In a criminal court case, I agree, and would fire an attorney who wanted me to take one.
> 
> ...


So what do you make of him not telling me what questions he wants me to answer? I mean from what I hear they have to tell you the questions before the test is conducted anyway so why not give me a chance to tell the truth?


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## OnTheRocks (Sep 26, 2011)

NSFW (just language), but funny and IMO very true: Polygraph Tests | Cracked.com 

I realize polygraphs are widely recommended here, and I myself am a BS, but come on... They're probably about as reliable as asking a psychic. Plus, accomplished liars have the best odds of passing! 

Sorry for going against the grain on my first post! This is a great forum that helped me quite a bit just from lurking during my ordeal.


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## benjen879 (Jun 9, 2010)

So should I just give up? I mean it's been almost 6 years since that incident and I'm constantly punished for it. Is it possible he can't get past this? With or w/out the test.


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## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)

^^

I made a similar point in an another thread, how long really should a WS be "punished" for their actions. If he hasn't gotten past it after 6 years then it's really time to move on so you could both heal. Just my opinion.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Well, he's probably looking dor "certainty" which really doesn't exist.

But if he truly has faith in a poly you passing it may be all he needs to get past this.

It's a big risk.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

OnTheRocks said:


> NSFW (just language), but funny and IMO very true: Polygraph Tests | Cracked.com
> 
> I realize polygraphs are widely recommended here, and I myself am a BS, but come on... They're probably about as reliable as asking a psychic. Plus, accomplished liars have the best odds of passing!
> 
> Sorry for going against the grain on my first post! This is a great forum that helped me quite a bit just from lurking during my ordeal.


I always laugh when I see people post stuff like this. Eyewitness testimony can be far, far more inaccurate, yet its admissable in court. Bad eyewitness accounts have been responsible for more innocent people going to jail than anything else. And anyone can lie on the stand. Yet all that is allegedly more accurate and admissible in a court of law. 

But this is about infidelity. Saying you're going to fail anyway because of nervousness is a cop out. Who has not been nervous when taking a polygraph? Everyone is. That's why the polygraph session takes so long, most of the beginning is devoted to calm you down and relaxing you.


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## cantthinkstraight (May 6, 2012)

It sounds to me like he should be putting his trust in you,
rather than into the results of a polygraph test.

That being said, nothing is worse than not knowing or 
trusting your spouse when it comes to EA/PA's.

It is a hell I wouldn't wish on anyone, but it's up to BOTH
of you to make right. If one or the other can't agree, your
marriage is doomed to fail.

I wish you the best of luck.


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## cantthinkstraight (May 6, 2012)

lordmayhem said:


> That's why the polygraph session takes so long, *most of the beginning is devoted to calm you down and relaxing you*.


Free BJ's?!

I'm going to schedule an appt. immediately...


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## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

Listen it I know you came here but it sounds like you are holding back. Lack of details, minimizing what happened, and I love to hear the line. He kissed me. So you just stood there and took it. Unless he did it against your will you won't get much sympathy from me. 
I would also wonder why he is throwing around the big D?
Please be more open and tell us more. Remember we can't give you any real advice until the whole story is out.


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## OnTheRocks (Sep 26, 2011)

lordmayhem said:


> I always laugh when I see people post stuff like this. Eyewitness testimony can be far, far more inaccurate, yet its admissable in court. Bad eyewitness accounts have been responsible for more innocent people going to jail than anything else. And anyone can lie on the stand. Yet all that is allegedly more accurate and admissible in a court of law.
> 
> But this is about infidelity. Saying you're going to fail anyway because of nervousness is a cop out. Who has not been nervous when taking a polygraph? Everyone is. That's why the polygraph session takes so long, most of the beginning is devoted to calm you down and relaxing you.


So do you believe polygraphs are _actually reliable_, or do you just recommend them as just another tactic / bluff in the arsenal of the BS? I've seen members recommend one for a WS as "the" solution for various issues numerous times here. 

Your point about eyewitness testimony is well taken, but polygraph results are NOT admissible in court in most US States, as well as most other developed nations. What does that say about its credibility? 

Hope this doesn't get me banned!


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

tacoma said:


> I agree entirely but a false positive in a poly is going to send her straight to divorce court.
> 
> Rock & a hard place for sure
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It is a rock and a hard place type of decision. I agree. and so much rides on the polygrahpher's skills. 

Still in some cases, I have read that the refusal to do the poly caused the decision to divorce. 

I, too, wanted my STBEH to take one, but decided against it. Maybe there were some things, I just didn't want to know, and at this point it no longer matters.


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

benjen879 said:


> So what do you make of him not telling me what questions he wants me to answer? I mean from what I hear they have to tell you the questions before the test is conducted anyway so why not give me a chance to tell the truth?


Personally, I think it's better if you wait until the day of the test to know which questions will be asked. 

If you know them too far ahead, you will likely build up mega anxiety.


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

OnTheRocks said:


> I realize polygraphs are widely recommended here, and I myself am a BS, but come on... They're probably about as reliable as asking a psychic. Plus, accomplished liars have the best odds of passing!


The poly is far more accurate than a reading from a reputable psychic. 

However police do use good psychics sometimes,

If this person is going to lose their spouse for not taking it, what's there to lose?

The poly as LM mentioned is likely more accurate than eyewitness testimony, if done by a good polygrapher.

The fact that it doesn't hold up in court is just a legal ruling. I think that is LMs point.


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## OnTheRocks (Sep 26, 2011)

Sara8 said:


> *The poly is far more accurate than a reading from a reputable psychic. *
> However police do use good psychics sometimes,
> 
> If this person is going to lose their spouse for not taking it, what's there to lose?
> ...


^^ Sources?

Good point - if the OP's spouse is gonna leave if she doesn't take it, IMO he is putting a huge bet on a completely unproven procedure. What if she passes with flying colors? Does he immediately feel 100% comfortable in the relationship? Sounds like the hubby needs to do his own research on the validity of polygraph tests. 

It is a legal ruling _because_ it is an unproven science.


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## Paladin (Oct 15, 2011)

Have you two gone through couples counseling? Has your H done individual counseling? Have You? You mentioned that you confessed about the EA and the PA (kiss), but during the time of your confession, your H was already threatening to file for D. What issues caused him to threaten a D? You mention that he never let go of your past, and uses it to punish you. Do you still sleep with women? Do you do drugs? If the answer is no, why do you allow him to hold your past over you like that? Humans are fallible by nature. We learn from our mistakes, but in order to learn, we have to make them. Obviously this is just your version of events, so it is one sided, but if you are to be taken at your word, your H sounds like a person with a lot of control and trust issues that should be addressed in counseling. The fact that you allow him to hold your past over you like that should be addressed in your own individual counseling sessions as well. Your husband, and you, deserve to live happy fulfilled lives with partners that love you. If you are incapable of doing that for one another, maybe you two should split? 

I would consent to taking the polygraph only after you both had a few sessions under your belts with individual counselors, and at the very minimum 5/6 sessions with a couples counselor, with a few of them being devoted to the topic of the polygraph. Best of luck to you.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

tacoma said:


> I agree entirely but a false positive in a poly is going to send her straight to divorce court.
> 
> Rock & a hard place for sure
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I will would never take one either for this reason.

Even if I was completely truthful and the test showed that, the spouse might know that they are wrong 25% of the time so still not trust the responses.


If it said I was lying when i was not... well there is no way that the spouse will believe the truth even though they know it can be wrong 25% of the time.

I would never put myself in that position.

And I would never ask anyone to take one because I know that they are not accurate enough of the time to be a problem.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

OnTheRocks said:


> ^^ Sources?
> 
> Good point - if the OP's spouse is gonna leave if she doesn't take it, IMO he is putting a huge bet on a completely unproven procedure. What if she passes with flying colors? Does he immediately feel 100% comfortable in the relationship? Sounds like the hubby needs to do his own research on the validity of polygraph tests.
> 
> It is a legal ruling _because_ it is an unproven science.


It's also a known fact that some peole can get by them.

My father, being in intelegence work was tained to get the results out of the test that he wanted to get. Knowing this has added to by distrust of them.


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

Take the polygraph. If you pass you can rub it in, if you fail you're not worse of because your marriage isn't working anyway. 

This that you have there is a fake R. He can't cope with the situation but somehow decided to keep you around. 

He won't tell you the questions but i believe it will be pretty standard. 

"Did you had sex with the OM?"
"Were you in love with the OM?"
"Do you love your husband?"
"Who initiated the kiss?"

Whatever. Polygraph tests are inaccurate and some of the underlying ideas around it seem pseudo-scientific. There is a range of uncertainty related to the operator too. But at this moment you have very little to lose don't you?


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## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

There are far to many statements here that undermine a polygraph. It is an effective tool to help verify the truth , done correctly by a professional the output can help settle your mind.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

lordmayhem said:


> I always laugh when I see people post stuff like this. Eyewitness testimony can be far, far more inaccurate, yet its admissable in court. Bad eyewitness accounts have been responsible for more innocent people going to jail than anything else. And anyone can lie on the stand. Yet all that is allegedly more accurate and admissible in a court of law.
> 
> But this is about infidelity. Saying you're going to fail anyway because of nervousness is a cop out. Who has not been nervous when taking a polygraph? Everyone is. That's why the polygraph session takes so long, most of the beginning is devoted to calm you down and relaxing you.


When eye witnesses give testimony it's pretty well known that they can be inaccurate. 

With a lie detector test many people get caught up in the idea that they are 'scientific' and hence believe whatever the results are. 

I think that this is why are are not allowed... because poeple become over confident in their results.


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

OnTheRocks said:


> ^^ Sources?
> 
> Good point - if the OP's spouse is gonna leave if she doesn't take it, IMO he is putting a huge bet on a completely unproven procedure. What if she passes with flying colors? Does he immediately feel 100% comfortable in the relationship? Sounds like the hubby needs to do his own research on the validity of polygraph tests.
> 
> It is a legal ruling _because_ it is an unproven science.


If you want sources do your homework. I have other things to do. Besides it's really common knowledge that they are effective when conducted by a well trained polygrapher, the CIA uses them.

The fact that the court won't use them means nothing as LM said they accept eyewitness testimony which if you google it, but is also common knowledge, is very unreliable according to numerous studies. 

Also, fingerprints are not accepted as 100 percent accurate in some European countries. 

And, if you read "Dancing in the Land Mine" you will see how many poor suckers have been convicted with DNA tests and later exonerated. 

Yet, the courts accept DNA as 100 percent proof. But DNA is easily adulterated when contaminated and often gives a false reading.

Yes. he should not put 100 percent faith in it, google how a psychopath can easily pass a poly. 

Still, the fact that she won't take it speaks volumes. 

Even my STBEH volunteered to take it. I decided against it.

If you have nothing to hide, you take the poly after being unfaithful. Being unfaithful is not a crime, unfortunately, so the lady need not worry about ending up in the slammer.

Also, I did my homework regarding your statement that a poly is completely unproven, I can find no source to support that. 

All sources say it is not 100 percent accurate, but if done properly works well.


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

BenJen,

Do you love your husband? Do you want the interrogations to stop?

If you answered yes to both these questions then this is what you do.

You sit him down and tell him this "Husband, I love you and I understand that you still do not trust me after 6 years. I know what I did was wrong and was very hurtful to you. 

But I swear to you I have not left any details out.

I will agree to a polygraph test under 2 conditions.

A. Once I pass the test the interogations stop.

B. Once I pass you agree to go to counselling so we can get our marriage back to a respectful, loving relationship."

What you did was wrong. Your husband carrying on for 6 years has made it worse for both of you.

If your husband cannot agree to those two terms (and you need to agree with them too) then I think it is time to end your relationship.

Good Luck

Hm64


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

You did drugs before you met him. You had sexual partners before you met him.

Six years ago a sad, deluded drunk kissed you when he was in a dark, lonely place.

And now your husband wants you to take a lie detector test?

Why? Why after all this time?

Have you done anything to make him doubt you since then? If not, then you should agree to the lie detector test. 

*But* you should make some demands on him, too. You should have pre-knowledge of the test questions and he should take a lie detector test, too.

Why? Sometimes people blameshift or blame transfer. His reasons for distrusting you might be because he is doing something bad that he is somehow blaming you for.


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## hurtingbadly (Sep 14, 2011)

I thought in polygraphs you couldn't ask questions regarding intent or feelings?

In other words, I couldn't ask did you want to have sex with her and that is why you asked her out for drinks?

Or were you in love with her (regarding a possible EA)?

I've got three girls in question so I'm having a really tough time deciding what type of questions I want asked. I only get three questions. 

WS has again agreed to the test, first time was a bluff. This time I'm calling it, so no bluffing. He sent me an email the other day with days he could go in. We're nine months into this mess and I can't even begin to try to move forward with all these lingering doubts still hanging over me.

I've got a drunken ONS on a business trip that he claims was a BJ only. 
This is the only transgression he will admit to. I'm not sure I believe it was a BJ only. He trickled truthed me at first for a full month and told me he only kissed her. (He kept the ONS from me for nine years and only starting "confessing" after I threatened a polygraph.)

I've got a flirty message from a former coworker who he asked out for drinks on an out of town business trip. We later see her at a restaurant and the tension between the two was very real and uncomfortable. 

I've got a possible EA that lasted two years with another coworker, he admits it was not appropriate and was close to crossing boundaries that shouldn't have been crossed. I questioned him often about her during those two years. He always denied. He was getting pain killers from her using his migraines as an excuse. This he kept from me. He claims he never touched her, yet I mysteriously kept infections and tested positive to HPV literally two weeks before she suddenly stopped talking to him with no explanation.

Ya, none of this sounds good. So what questions would I even ask?!? If anyone has any suggestions I'd greatly appreciate it. I can't rule out there were other girls on other business trips, either. 

This was all in the past. ONS nine years ago, EA four years ago. He doesn't travel for work anymore. I was kept in the dark about the ONS all this time. Our kids were very little when it happened. He doesn't want a divorce, yet there are so many questionable things and I can't feel he is remorseful if he's still lying. Plus, I'm having a time forgiving the ONS, if it's serial cheating?!?


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Sara8 said:


> The fact that the court won't use them means nothing as LM said they accept eyewitness testimony which if you google it, but is also common knowledge, is very unreliable according to numerous studies.


This doesn`t really help your argument.

Eye witness testimony is evidenced to be unreliable but a court of law finds it acceptable for testimony but they will not accept a polygraph in testimony.

All this means is that the court system find polygraphs even more unreliable than the evidenced unreliability of eye witness testimony.



> Still, the fact that she won't take it speaks volumes.


It means nothing.
If my wife were to ask me to take a poly tomorrow I`d laugh in her face.
I`ve not been unfaithful so I have no idea of how my answer would be "telling".


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

MattMatt said:


> You did drugs before you met him. You had sexual partners before you met him.
> 
> Six years ago a sad, deluded drunk kissed you when he was in a dark, lonely place.
> 
> And now your husband wants you to take a lie detector test?



This is all over a kiss 6 years ago?

Unreal, no way I`d take that poly.


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## Euripedes (Jun 18, 2011)

Hi bj879: Are you 100% sure that there was only one kiss? Nothing else? No other PA? No sex of any kind? If so, then arrange to take a polygraph yourself WITHOUT lettting your H know, to see if you pass or not. In the US, this will cost about $300 to $500, but will be well worth it, and will let you know how you do if your H makes you takes a P test. See what your responses will be to such questions as:

1. Have you ever had sexual intercourse with Mr. X (his name put here)?
2. Have you ever had oral sex with Mr. X?
3. Have you had any contact with Mr. X since Janauary 1st 2012 (or whatever date is appropriate)?

EVERYONE is nervous when taking a P test, but do one first by yourself without letting your H know, to see what the P results are. And let the P tester know this prior to the test, since you claim to be so nervous.

I am wishing you the best since I've been here before..but please do not EVER have an EA or PA again, since they are so destructive to a marriage. E.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Married to a cop, 15 years with the department. He says they are highly reliable.

I'd take one unless I had something to hide.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

I'd take it. Sure you're nervous, only a nut job would be calm and certain. 

It's been 6 years and he's uncertain. He believes this will give him the closure and resolution he's seeking. It may or may not, but for the sake of the chance to move forward isn't it worth it?

Polygraphs aren't perfect, but they do work well enough to be used by law enforcement and the gov't for clearances.

They "don't work" in all cases because frankly, a lot of the people who take then are either guilty, or in fact nut jobs. They are the effective a catching these people who then go on to trash the results of the test.

So don't worry about being nervous - it's normal. In fact point this out to your husband and don't try to act cool and hide it. Tell him you love him, and that you have nothing to hide, so you will do it, but that it's scary when you put that much trust into the test and the person giving it to you.

Tell you husband you value him and your marriage and that any black-white test that could hurt the marriage of course scares you and that he should note that and realize how much you really do love him.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

> Polygraphy has little credibility among scientists.[23][24] Despite claims of 90-95% validity by polygraph advocates, and 95-100% by businesses providing polygraph services,[non-primary source needed] critics maintain that rather than a "test", the method amounts to an inherently unstandardizable interrogation technique whose accuracy cannot be established. A 1997 survey of 421 psychologists estimated the test's average accuracy at about 61%, a little better than chance.[25] Critics also argue that even given high estimates of the polygraph's accuracy a significant number of subjects (e.g. 10% given a 90% accuracy) will appear to be lying, and would unfairly suffer the consequences of "failing" the polygraph. In the 1998 Supreme Court case, United States v. Scheffer, the majority stated that "There is simply no consensus that polygraph evidence is reliable" and "Unlike other expert witnesses who testify about factual matters outside the jurors' knowledge, such as the analysis of fingerprints, ballistics, or DNA found at a crime scene, a polygraph expert can supply the jury only with another opinion..."[26] Also, in 2005 the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals stated that “polygraphy did not enjoy general acceptance from the scientific community”.[27] Charles Honts, a psychology professor at Boise State University, states that polygraph interrogations give a high rate of false positives on innocent people.[28] In 2001 William G. Iacono, Distinguished McKnight University Professor of Psychology and Neuroscience and Director, Clinical Science and Psychopathology Research Training Program at the University of Minnesota, published a paper titled “Forensic “Lie Detection": Procedures Without Scientific Basis” in the peer reviewed Journal of Forensic Psychology Practice. He concluded that.....
> 
> Polygraph - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


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## ForeverFaithful (Jul 19, 2012)

i did agree to take a polygraph to prove faithfulness and honesty to my husband. i was also nervous but told the truth and i passed. that was two weeks ago and he believed the results then but is doubting them now. it is difficult to break the pattern of distrust. i still would recommend taking one if you are being honest, and if he still doesn't believe you, at least you know you did all you could... no regrets.


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## sunny0ne (Dec 19, 2012)

If you once had an affiar, you should take the test as requested. It takes time for your partner to get over an infidelity. However, if my mate demanded a polygraph when he has never had reason to be suspicious, I would comply and then exit the relationship. Probably not what most people would do, but I am quite anal about respect and honesty in relatoinsjips and life is just too short for me to waste time participating in going nowhere relationships.


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## Jeffery (Oct 8, 2012)

how do you feel about your husband and what you have done to him?


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