# Gracie Jiu Jitsu/BJJ Rolling with Women in Metoo Era



## vej36 (Dec 23, 2017)

I have been training on the mat for years; however, with the #Metoo# movement i notice more gents reluctant to roll with females. Any BJJ brothers witnessing the same phenomenon and what's you feeling about the situation?

Vej36


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## BioFury (Jul 9, 2015)

vej36 said:


> I have been training on the mat for years; however, with the #Metoo# movement i notice more gents reluctant to roll with females. Any BJJ brothers witnessing the same phenomenon and what's you feeling about the situation?
> 
> Vej36


I don't really think it's appropriate for a man or woman who's in a relationship to be rolling around on the floor, having full body contact with members of the opposite sex. Besides the fact that many grappling positions are mirror images of ones from the bedroom.

That said, women who are rolling around in other people's sweat, don't really seem like the type that would accuse someone falsely. So as long as the dudes behave themselves, I wouldn't think it would be an issue.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

As a fighter I dislike fighting women, and most of the time I give them the upper hand and restrain myself. Male instinct to protect, and not to harm.

Those who prove themselves as competent fighters however, then sure, but they have to earn my respect for that. Kicking my butt is a sure-fire way, and if they are single, also a weak spot for me - I would ask for their number as I would be so turned on 

Only one woman ever proved herself to me in that regard, she was my girlfriend for two years in my teens, a striker though, but one powerful striker while I was more the grappler.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

vej36 said:


> I have been training on the mat for years; however, with the #Metoo# movement i notice more gents reluctant to roll with females. Any BJJ brothers witnessing the same phenomenon and what's you feeling about the situation?
> 
> Vej36


Not at all. But then again, we are a small school and everyone is really tight. Occasionally I will partner with one of the females for drilling as two of them are pretty good friends. 

I have also trained at three other schools in my state (Tennessee) during business travel in 2017. I rolled with females at two of the three. No hesitation. One of the two females gave me about all I could handle...lol.


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

I have been a regular practitioner of Aikido for many years ... never had a problem with male or female opponents.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

Red Sonja said:


> I have been a regular practitioner of Aikido for many years ... never had a problem with male or female opponents.


RS brings up a good point... why would it be only the opposite sex that you'd be worried about. Couldn't a male fight partner also accuse you of inappropriate groping? If your going to worry about that then contact sports probably isn't for you.


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

My daughters do kick boxing, the youngest is 15 and is often sparring against men 2 or 3 times her age. They did have a go at Jiu Jitsu but prefer Muay Thai. The place they go is all about respect and self discipline. Honestly can't see what the big deal is OP.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Nope not for me.

Would not want to spar with a female.

Played racquet ball with females and always felt like it was wrong to play my hardest.

Just mind game but one I can't seem to get over.


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## vej36 (Dec 23, 2017)

Chris Taylor said:


> RS brings up a good point... why would it be only the opposite sex that you'd be worried about. Couldn't a male fight partner also accuse you of inappropriate groping? If your going to worry about that then contact sports probably isn't for you.


Society doesn't view males as vulnerable while, we do with women as indicated by Federal LAWS like Violence Against Women s Act; hence, an accusation of alleged groping by a male against another male will be viewed and handled very differently.


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## vej36 (Dec 23, 2017)

This post is perhaps moot because after training today I asked some of the gents about rolling with women and many verbalised that increasing numbers of ladies are seeking "women only BJJ Classes" which, creates a WIN-WIN for both Genders. Ironically Gender segregation seems to be a good thing and no doubt it will be expanded in the work place. 

Man, the Mike Pence Rule (basic principle) seems to be one of the few positives from the Trump Administration.


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

BioFury said:


> I don't really think it's appropriate for a man or woman who's in a relationship to be rolling around on the floor, having full body contact with members of the opposite sex. *Besides the fact that many grappling positions are mirror images of ones from the bedroom.*
> 
> That said, women who are rolling around in other people's sweat, don't really seem like the type that would accuse someone falsely. So as long as the dudes behave themselves, I wouldn't think it would be an issue.


And with that, I have an eye-opening insight into Biofury's bedroom activities >

I do remember an incident in boxing, in which I was to introduce a new lady to sparing. As she was new, I was not to bop her on the head, nor on the boobs. However, she had enormous breasts and was very short, leaving the only two viable punches to be a long extended upper cut going along to the belly under her boobs, or to actually squat down. It ended up being quite a challenge and made it far more even.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

chillymorn69 said:


> Nope not for me.
> 
> Would not want to spar with a female.
> 
> ...


What if the female was actually good at racquet sports or combat sports?


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

When I was in school as a kid/teenager we all had to participate in every subject.There was a class called home economics and everyone learned how to cook basic meals,repair clothes,use an iron and a washing machine etc.There was also a home maintenance class where everyone learned basic woodwork,metalwork,home repair etc.
When it came to sports we all tried boxing and the girls were very enthusiastic about it lol.It became clear that the boys were holding back so we were split into mixed teams and when a boy had to box a girl there was no holding back tolerated because it was your team you were letting down.There is nothing like being punched by a girl while your two female teammates are screaming at you to punch her back.
I have studied Karate for twenty three years and Aikido for over twenty and my sparring partner is a woman.
She takes no prisoners.Neither do I.


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## username77 (Dec 27, 2017)

In this day and age where all it takes is an accusation with no proof at all to destroy your life, no chance I would ever be in physical contact with a woman in a situation like BJJ, grappling, whatever, no way.


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

I'm in the same boat as Chilly. I just won't do it. The only woman I would ever spar with is my wife. Then it's a little fingertip light slap to the forehead. No matter how hard she throws I won't escalate.

In class I would never spar a female. Just won't happen. On the street? It would probably take several good shots before I got pissed enough to strike them.

Another drive by, by the OP?


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## Tatsuhiko (Jun 21, 2016)

Chris Taylor said:


> RS brings up a good point... why would it be only the opposite sex that you'd be worried about. Couldn't a male fight partner also accuse you of inappropriate groping? If your going to worry about that then contact sports probably isn't for you.


Men just don't make these kind of accusations generally, and definitely not spuriously. If man felt he was sexually groped, he'd either handle it in his own way, or be to ashamed to make it public. The idea that men and women are the same, and will behave in the same way, is getting very tired.


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

vej36 said:


> Ironically Gender segregation seems to be a good thing and no doubt it will be expanded in the work place.


First ... this thread wasn't a hit and run posting on your part ... that's a novelty >


Second ... you better hope that the above quoted _never _happens because it will result in industrial economic suicide. Think it through.


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## MidnightBlue (Nov 20, 2017)

OP is trying to get you guys to agree that the “MeToo” movement is making men not want to engage with women in Jiu Jitsu. 

That said, I’ve taken Krav Maga from an instructor who loves Jiu Jitsu and taught us several of the techniques. (He calls Krav Maga Jiu Jitsu’s crazy cousin). A lot of the positions did make me a bit self conscious and I was glad I had my husband and daughter as partners. I can see how it would make anyone uneasy. There was a whole lot of close contact, writhing on the floor, and crotch in the face. 

The only thing worse than that was being facedown on the mat and seeing a piece of toenail inches from your face. Ick.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

MidnightBlue said:


> I can see how it would make anyone uneasy. There was a whole lot of close contact, writhing on the floor, and crotch in the face.


Aye, and with one of my exs we considered sparring "foreplay"


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

I'm missing something. I've been involved with different martial arts over the decades including striking and grappling arts. If it is in a class environment with other students/instructers present, how will any accusations be taken seriously?

Avoid "rolling" in private with someone of the opposite sex.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

vej36 said:


> This post is perhaps moot because after training today I asked some of the gents about rolling with women and many verbalised that increasing numbers of ladies are seeking "women only BJJ Classes" which, creates a WIN-WIN for both Genders. Ironically Gender segregation seems to be a good thing and no doubt it will be expanded in the work place.
> 
> Man, the Mike Pence Rule (basic principle) seems to be one of the few positives from the Trump Administration.


One problem that I can see with that is that if women are taking it for self-defense, they could get a fasle sense of security .....forgetting that even the wimpiest looking guy is way stronger than they are.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

NextTimeAround said:


> One problem that I can see with that is that if women are taking it for self-defense, they could get a fasle sense of security .....forgetting that even the wimpiest looking guy is way stronger than they are.


The local BJJ instructor here is teeny. He wraps the big, muscle bound guys around his fingers and toes every time, even those who have trained for a very long time. My husband jokes about the limbs he hides in his pockets all the time. Skill wins.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

The instructor in my school is 5'10" and around 170. There are purple belts in the program that are 250+ lbs. and he doesn't man handle them, but is just...slippery. They can't finish him.


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

farsidejunky said:


> The instructor in my school is 5'10" and around 170. There are purple belts in the program that are 250+ lbs. and he doesn't man handle them, but is just...slippery. They can't finish him.


Exactly right.
Expertise and technique will almost always win out. When they don't, it's because of arrogance and sloppiness.


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

NextTimeAround said:


> One problem that I can see with that is that if women are taking it for self-defense, they could get a fasle sense of security .....forgetting that even the wimpiest looking guy is way stronger than they are.


I knew a small girl who was telling her Dad she was far more confident in defending herself. Her Dad said nothing, just punched something. She had a shock at seeing just how hard he could punch.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

vej36 said:


> This post is perhaps moot because after training today I asked some of the gents about rolling with women and many verbalised that increasing numbers of ladies are seeking "women only BJJ Classes" which, creates a WIN-WIN for both Genders. Ironically Gender segregation seems to be a good thing and no doubt it will be expanded in the work place.
> 
> Man, the Mike Pence Rule (basic principle) seems to be one of the few positives from the Trump Administration.


I don't think gender segregation in martial arts is a good thing at all--especially for women. I encourage my daughters to spar against boys. You get better by practicing against those that are stronger than you, and realistically if they ever need to defend themselves it will probably be against men.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

vej36 said:


> I have been training on the mat for years; however, with the #Metoo# movement i notice more gents reluctant to roll with females. Any BJJ brothers witnessing the same phenomenon and what's you feeling about the situation?
> 
> Vej36


Mixed sex groups playing together on the mat?

There's really no problem with that.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

MattMatt said:


> Mixed sex groups playing together on the mat?
> 
> There's really no problem with that.


You know that most domestic cats are neutered right? If not... the playing may result in alot of kittens 

lol


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

My school is also very small and tight.

I fight men all the time with no issues.....we are all close friends.

All newbies are welcomed into the close friends circle..... it's part of what makes our school special.


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

I have started coaching a womens' rugby team.

Everything is fine.


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## Real talk (Apr 13, 2017)

As the my gym men only have a problem rolling with this adorable little Asian woman with enormous breast that rake up half her body size. Most of us stay away like the plague.


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## ElCanario (Nov 11, 2013)

There should be no problems between the sexes in grappling arts. I have rolled with men and women - only on one occasion did a woman have a problem rolling with me (she was the problem, not me). And I have never had problems rolling with women. I trained with national champions and Olympians, and they were very good. If there are women out there who just want to train with women, I don't understand that, but I believe if they are more comfortable that way, let them do it. Better that they learn in an atmosphere where they are comfortable.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

RandomDude said:


> As a fighter I dislike fighting women, and most of the time I give them the upper hand and restrain myself. Male instinct to protect, and not to harm.
> 
> Those who prove themselves as competent fighters however, then sure, but they have to earn my respect for that. Kicking my butt is a sure-fire way, and if they are single, also a weak spot for me - I would ask for their number as I would be so turned on
> 
> Only one woman ever proved herself to me in that regard, she was my girlfriend for two years in my teens, a striker though, but one powerful striker while I was more the grappler.



- Exactly and well said.


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