# Article: My wife was addicted to ****** *******



## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

My wife was addicted to ****** *******

By Dana Schuster

August 26, 2015 | 6:01am

Matthew is a successful, 48-year-old tech executive living outside of San Francisco. Over the course of five months from 2013 to 2014, his wife — we’ll call her “S” — cheated on him with countless men on the ****** ******* website. Last week, hackers exposed the site’s 32 million users. Here, Matthew, who asked that his last name not be used in order to protect their two sons, tells The Post’s Dana Schuster his story.

When I heard about the ****** ******* security breach last week, the first thing I did was check out everyone who signed up in my neighborhood. I’m a computer guy, so it was easy to create database commands to say, “Show me everything in the ZIP code.”

I recognized six names right off the bat. There was a business associate, a handful of family friends and even a dad of my kid’s schoolmate. I always thought he was a decent guy, and here I see he spent $5,000 on the site.

And then there was my wife of 19 years. Or soon-to-be ex-wife, I should say.

I first learned that S was using ****** ******* on Christmas Eve 2013. I call it D-Day, cuckold-speak for “Discovery Day.”

The breach — which exposed credit card names associated with accounts, profiles, email addresses and more — brought all of that pain back like a sledgehammer.

Not only was I reminded of the torture of discovering that my life partner, now 48, was cheating on a site that flat-out condoned extramarital affairs, but suddenly I could read the profiles my wife, who used the pseudonym Sophia, created during her two stints on ****** *******. She paid $20 to have each permanently deleted, but clearly, the company did no such thing.

Her profile, “attached female seeking male,” read: “Not looking to blow up my life … I am looking to stretch my wings a bit and fly a bit farther.”

My wife, to put it bluntly, was a cold fish in bed throughout our nearly two decades of marriage, so it was devastating to see her explicit fantasies laid out there so unabashedly. When we were together, she wasn’t into oral stuff, she wasn’t into kinky stuff — but on the site, she checked all the boxes: “I like to give oral,” “I like to get oral.”

Had you asked me two years ago if I ever imagined S would cheat on me, no less on a site like ****** *******, the answer would have been a vehement no.

We first met at a party when I was at business school. She came as someone’s guest. It wasn’t love at first sight, but I was interested right away.

We were a vanilla family, which was fine with me. We had two beautiful boys, now 11 and 16, and had typical dinners out and vacations up and down the coast of California and to visit S’ family.

Not too long ago, after years of struggling financially, my software company, with a valuation in the billions, had its IPO. We did very well. We lived in a $1 million dream house on the beach just outside of San Francisco. She could do anything she wanted. The only thing S couldn’t do was betray me, but I guess I forgot to be clear about that.

In the fall of 2013, we were going through a rough patch. My wife, who was the picture-perfect mother to the outside world — [parent-teacher organization] president, community volunteer, the works — was turning hostile and contemptuous. In response, I became withdrawn and distant. We decided to go to marriage counseling.

Not that it was doing much good. She had started wearing fishnet stockings out for drinks with the girls and spending a lot of time with the bedroom door closed. One month later, on Christmas Eve, suspicion got the best of me.

I turned on the computer. S didn’t realize that the Notepad app on her iPad synchronized with our email account. I saw a bunch of messages referring to something called “AM,” which I didn’t immediately connect to ****** *******. I figured it out, though, once I read what appeared to be a draft of S’ profile.

I confronted her. Turns out she had been on dates with at least six men from the site in a matter of weeks. Right around the same time we started counseling, my wife’s friend (who, mind you, is a licensed marriage and family therapist) suggested she sign up for ****** *******, whose tag line is, “Life is short. Have an affair.”

“She said having affairs helped her marriage, so I decided to give it a go,” S told me.

She refused to tell me the names of the other men, but agreed to delete her account. I assumed that meant we were on the path to repairing our marriage.

By April 2014, my wife was still acting erratic. She threatened divorce and told me how miserable it was being married to me. She bought hundreds of dollars worth of lingerie, but refused to let me touch her in bed, as I pleaded for affection. I was admitted to the ER for exhaustion caused by stress and sleeplessness.

So when I noticed a weird gift credit card peeking out from her wallet, I decided to look it up online. I saw that it was used for $80 at a boutique San Francisco hotel. No San Fran hotel is $80 a night! But after calling, I discovered it can be — if you’re only paying for a day rate.

I confronted her once more and she confessed that she was back on ****** *******, sleeping with married men.

She tried arguing that it would help our marriage, bring some spice into the relationship, and that being on ****** ******* was a plus: Since everyone’s married, there’s no incentive to expose the other person. It was as though I was talking to a complete stranger, some bohemian. No one I knew would say something like that.

“You shouldn’t judge me,” S said. “You’re seeing things in black and white when there is so much more nuance to it.”

But really, there wasn’t. She was bored with me and wanted to play. It was very simple.

I tried to stay with her and work it out for three more months, but she ultimately revealed herself to be someone I didn’t want to be with. We separated in the summer of 2014. We are still going through our divorce.

When you’re betrayed in this way, to this degree, you become traumatized and experience post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms. The breach, needless to say, made it come back all at once. I triggered hard. My girlfriend of one year (we started dating after my wife and I separated) was a little confused as to why I was still so upset.

“It was really traumatic,” I explained to her.

People are surprised to hear about men whose wives are on ****** *******. Typically, guys are considered the philanderers — actively going out pursuing affairs — while women get hit on and reactively decide whether to cheat. But that’s not always the case.

Sure, the hack revealed that only 14 percent of ****** *******’s users were women. But it’s a substantial number when you think of all the havoc those people, including my wife, have wreaked.

I’m most worried for my two children. Kids can be cruel, and I don’t want anyone going up to them and saying, “Did you see what your mother did?” My older son found out about the affairs when he chanced upon an anonymous blog I kept on survivinginfidelity.com. He still speaks to his mother, but has a hard time dealing with what happened. Our younger son, thankfully, doesn’t know.

But maybe there’s an upside to the breach. ****** ******* deserves everything that’s coming its way. The CEO is such a sociopath. Just think about all the misery he helps inflict. The fact that there are already two suicides linked to the breach is just so regrettable.

And for those who were caught, you should stand up and say, “Yeah, I did this. I admit it and I’m working toward being a better person.”
I’m currently looking for a new job in the tech world, and you can bet that I’m going to look up any potential new boss to see if they were on ****** ******* — anyone who would lie to his or her spouse would lie to me.

Being divorced after nearly two decades of marriage because my wife was cheating on me on a site like ****** ******* wasn’t the future I had envisioned. Back when we were together, I thought what we had was good. Only in retrospect, now that I’m separated and in a new relationship, do I understand how good it can be. My life is 1,000 percent better.

Now I understand what love is. It’s when someone appreciates you for who you actually are, and has your back. And when you’re not with them, you feel like something’s missing. And you can trust them with your life.

I didn’t have that before, but now I do.

___________________________________

Article appeared in New York Post


----------



## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

Truthseeker1 said:


> Now I understand what love is. It’s when someone appreciates you for who you actually are, and has your back. And when you’re not with them, you feel like something’s missing. *And you can trust them with your life.
> *
> I didn’t have that before, but now I do.


Not so sure about the bolded part, but glad he found his release.

Wonder how the ex will feel when the lustre wears off and she seeks the security of the relationship she so wilfully threw away. Especially since her ex seems to be in a great relationship.


----------



## where_are_we (May 24, 2013)

Wow. What a sad story. That woman is a loser.

So I keep reading that you can search the list, but I am not having any luck with this. Anyone know how. I am curious.


----------



## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

Well, he was unlucky, since most of the female accounts were fake. Estimated that about 12,000 were real and the rest of the 5.5 million were fake accounts. Mostly, the site was males looking for a way to cheat.

I understand that CWI is mostly a boys club, and the male BS will find articles about female cheaters, even statistically, there are a few more percentage of male cheaters.

Most of the males that did join AM were highly disappointed. Most of these sites are heavily populated by males. Unless they were looking for some male on male action, which some probably did,most males struck out . We are talking about 12,000 female to tens of million males, roughly a 2000 to 1 ratio.


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Truthseeker1 said:


> “You shouldn’t judge me,” S said. “You’re seeing things in black and white when there is so much more nuance to it.”


Geez. What a remorseless slore. Poor bastard should've filed for divorce on December 26, 2013.

And I do hope he outed her therapist friend.


----------



## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

Beings of higher thought indeed.


----------



## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

When she is a wrinkled up hag, hated by her children, then regret will come.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

The articles seems bogus to me. They live in a house ON the beach outside San Francisco and it's only worth $1 mil?


----------



## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

soccermom2three said:


> The articles seems bogus to me. They live in a house ON the beach outside San Francisco and it's only worth $1 mil?


She's not going to use Facebook to cheat, that's for sure


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

soccermom2three said:


> The articles seems bogus to me. *They live in a house ON the beach outside San Francisco and it's only worth $1 mil?*


TBH I had the same thought myself.


----------



## skype (Sep 25, 2013)

The New York Post. Hahaha.


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

I never understood why women like this think it's such an accomplishment to get men to fvck them. 

There may come a day when being a side ho gets old.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

This article seems a little to clean and clear cut to me.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

> “Not looking to blow up my life … I am looking to stretch my wings a bit and fly a bit farther.


Really? Well, how did "not looking to blow up your life and looking to stretch your wings and fly a bit father" work out for you, Mrs Icarus?


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

marduk said:


> This article seems a little to clean and clear cut to me.


It would do.

Because a journalist tidied it up for him. 

It's what we do.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Mr.Fisty said:


> Well, he was unlucky, since most of the female accounts were fake. Estimated that about 12,000 were real and the rest of the 5.5 million were fake accounts. Mostly, the site was males looking for a way to cheat.
> 
> I understand that CWI is mostly a boys club, and the male BS will find articles about female cheaters, even statistically, there are a few more percentage of male cheaters.
> 
> Most of the males that did join AM were highly disappointed. Most of these sites are heavily populated by males. Unless they were looking for some male on male action, which some probably did,most males struck out . We are talking about 12,000 female to tens of million males, roughly a 2000 to 1 ratio.


But the fact that most female accounts were fake would mean the few genuine female accounts would get lots of action.


----------



## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

MattMatt said:


> But the fact that most female accounts were fake would mean the few genuine female accounts would get lots of action.



True enough, and millions of males trying to cheat. Strangely enough, hook-up sites with no emotional attachment sex is a male dominated field.

Contrary to popular belief, males do not have the in-love feelings as females do when it comes to sex. Females are more likely to fall in love with a sexual partner. Brain scans done by neuro scientists, the area of the brain responsible for love is highly activated for about three hours on average for females after sex, and for males, the feelings last for 45 minutes on average. However, sex is more tied to the male risk/reward system.


----------



## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

You do have to wonder what is his ex-wife's state of mind after that many affairs. There is no way at least in the short term she could be in a normal relationship. and I do agree with Gus - the husband needs to expose the wife's friend to her husband asap.


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

marduk said:


> This article seems a little to clean and clear cut to me.


To be fair, it reads like a summary. If he truly has been posting somewhere (the article mentions SI), I'd be willing to bet that the thread is 300+ pages in length.


----------



## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

I remember the guy's thread on SI....he's actively posted there for about 2 years...he's legit.

His WW is a real horror show based on what he shared on his threads.

And as far as I'm concerned, her crappy friend that recommended AM and said A's had helped her M (though her BH was in the dark about them) should have her license yanked.


----------



## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

"My wife, who was the picture-perfect mother to the outside world — [parent-teacher organization] president, community volunteer, the works — was turning hostile and contemptuous."

This had me triggering all day. Lived that although I could never come up with anything but circumstantial evidence. So many flashbacks today of 3 years of hell that I allowed to go on because of my "dear in headlights" state. 

The cavalier attitude of his WW is alarming but I think I experienced the same thing at the end of the day.


----------



## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

That was tough to read. So much cruelty. It wasn't just the cheating. She was taunting him basically. That guy deserves some happiness. I think lesser men would have completely snapped. Nineteen years of vanilla for him, only to find out that everyone else gets 31 flavors.


----------



## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

This guy's ex reminds me A LOT of my ex... Same sort of mentality.

Only difference is mine didn't use AM, she preferred people she was more familiar with (e.g. ex-boyfriends, co-workers, etc.)

Bottom line is this slvt never really loved the author. He was safe and she knew he would provide her a comfortable life.

But that eventually led to boredom for her due to a permanent lack of real attraction and so she got her lust fix elsewhere.

Selfish cake eater still wanted the security though. I suspect the relationship was completely one sided and she played along for years.

At least, he finally dumped her after fake R. Fortunately, I only wasted a decade. He wasted two. This is why I rarely recommend second chances.

The kind of person who is able to engage in a long term affair is rarely truly remorseful. They are just sorry they got caught.


----------



## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

ReformedHubby said:


> That was tough to read. So much cruelty. It wasn't just the cheating. She was taunting him basically. That guy deserves some happiness. I think lesser men would have completely snapped. Nineteen years of vanilla for him, only to find out that everyone else gets 31 flavors.


If a guy's worth millions, how much trouble do you think he'd have finding a harem of women where any one of them give him 31 flavors. There ain't a shortage of women out there, especially for a man with resources. 
That said, I'm with the group that doesn't really buy completely into the story.


----------



## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

The Phoenix,

He's real, unless he's been trolling for two years on SI...wish I could remember his handle over there....but I definitely remember his story...posting for 2 years and still active.

The search system on SI sucks or I would try to look for his tag...as it is I'd have to sift through the users posting on recent threads to identify him.

Might try to do that later and post his username for those interested.


----------



## truster (Jul 23, 2015)

Dyokemm said:


> The Phoenix,
> 
> He's real, unless he's been trolling for two years on SI...wish I could remember his handle over there....but I definitely remember his story...posting for 2 years and still active.
> 
> ...


Very interested.. this story has a lot of parallels to my own, to the point where it's uncanny. If I'm real, I doubt he's fake..

I'd be much interested in reading his story to get some perspective for the coming days out of it.


----------



## truster (Jul 23, 2015)

Mr.Fisty said:


> Well, he was unlucky, since most of the female accounts were fake. Estimated that about 12,000 were real and the rest of the 5.5 million were fake accounts. Mostly, the site was males looking for a way to cheat.
> 
> I understand that CWI is mostly a boys club, and the male BS will find articles about female cheaters, even statistically, there are a few more percentage of male cheaters.
> 
> Most of the males that did join AM were highly disappointed. Most of these sites are heavily populated by males. Unless they were looking for some male on male action, which some probably did,most males struck out . We are talking about 12,000 female to tens of million males, roughly a 2000 to 1 ratio.


The articles I've seen that reduce the numbers that low have made bad assumptions, IMO. Often people in the comments clarify why, but I've seen myself that some of the assumptions used to declare an account 'fake' are not correct.


----------



## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

RClawson said:


> "My wife, who was the picture-perfect mother to the outside world — [parent-teacher organization] president, community volunteer, the works — was turning hostile and contemptuous."
> 
> This had me triggering all day. Lived that although I could never come up with anything but circumstantial evidence. So many flashbacks today of 3 years of hell that I allowed to go on because of my "dear in headlights" state.
> 
> The cavalier attitude of his WW is alarming but I think I experienced the same thing at the end of the day.


The cheating wife in this article doesn't really sound sane - she sounds like she has ocmpletely lost or - or maybe she was always this way and the cork finally popped...


----------



## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

ReformedHubby said:


> That was tough to read. So much cruelty. It wasn't just the cheating. She was taunting him basically. That guy deserves some happiness. I think lesser men would have completely snapped. Nineteen years of vanilla for him, only to find out that everyone else gets 31 flavors.


The wife's cruely was off the charts and so was that of her friend the therapist - rich women who live in a bubble - without any consequences for their actions - you know she got a big chunk of money n that divorce settlement like half - she deserved nothng...the husband ndded to expose in a nuclear fashion his wife and her friend..and let the chips fall where they may...


----------



## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

Truthseeker1 said:


> The wife's cruely was off the charts and so was that of her friend the therapist - rich women who live in a bubble - without any consequences for their actions - you know she got a big chunk of money n that divorce settlement like half - she deserved nothng...the husband ndded to expose in a nuclear fashion his wife and her friend..and let the chips fall where they may...


Yep.....rich/umc vampires.

If not the worst kind of cheater, definitely the runner up.

Self-entitled princesses who never want for anything because of all the effort their BH's put into making their lives better.

Traitors who stab their BH's in the back, and then steal half the material goods the guy has busted his a** earning all those years, getting years of his current income (maybe for the rest of their worthless lives) to fund their bullsh*t second childhood, and usually getting full custody of the kids so the guy has to pay through the nose to her for that, while losing huge amounts of time to actually see them.


----------



## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Dyokemm said:


> I remember the guy's thread on SI....he's actively posted there for about 2 years...he's legit.
> 
> His WW is a real horror show based on what he shared on his threads.
> 
> And as far as I'm concerned, her crappy friend that recommended AM and said A's had helped her M (though her BH was in the dark about them) should have her license yanked.


See, this is my problem.

His wife is a total lunatic, and yet he comes off like it's his fault.

And the whole article sounds like it was written by a woman.


----------



## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

marduk,

He was probably advised by the publisher of the site/magazine that this was NOT going to be a venue for him to verbally abuse and run his WW down....just to calmly and maturely share his story.

For example, a lot of the comments and postings here on TAM would NEVER be allowed into a major news magazine/newspaper/mainstream website.....even if they were 100% unvarnished truth.

The kinds of things a BS wants to say about how they REALLY feel about their WS, the circumstances of the A, and the excuses the WS has thrown out would make most readers of those sites/publications very uncomfortable.....especially those who have never experienced betrayal.

In other words...the site vetted it to make it seem calm and unemotional.


----------



## truster (Jul 23, 2015)

Does anyone have a link to the original thread the article spawned off of?


----------



## Harken Banks (Jun 12, 2012)

soccermom2three said:


> The articles seems bogus to me. They live in a house ON the beach outside San Francisco and it's only worth $1 mil?


It does seem a little bit like composite. There are some things there everyone will recognize. But it seemed odd to me that this guy discovered his wife on ****** ******* and having sex with random guys more than 2 years ago and yet had some reaction to discovering through the ****** ******* breach just within the last month to his shock, horror, and dismay that his wife was on ****** ******* and having sex with random guys. Maybe I have to re-read. That didn't seem to make sense. Plus the million dollar house on the beach outside SF.


----------



## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

Who even knows how long the wife has been cheating..I wonder if she cheated long before AM...if not then one day she just snapped and went totally nuts...there is no way that woman is good for anyone interested in a serious relationship and she won't be for a long time if ever..she seems really damaged...


----------



## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

I wonder what she looks like, I bet she's a 3 or 4.
These women would have to be pretty low, in rank and self esteem to jump into a pool saturated 2000:1 male/female for a NSA lay.


----------



## Harken Banks (Jun 12, 2012)

gouge_away said:


> I wonder what she looks like, I bet she's a 3 or 4.
> These women would have to be pretty low, in rank and self esteem to jump into a pool saturated 2000:1 male/female for a NSA lay.


Not always the case at least in physical attractiveness.


----------



## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

The search feature at SI sucks.....for one thing it only shows a person's most recent posts, so unless the have posted their original story on their profile page its da*n near impossible to get someone's original thread/story if it was from awhile ago.....if there is some trick to their search engine that allows you to access older stuff, I don't know about it and there are no guidelines on the site for doing so.

But I'm pretty sure I found the guy based on some of his recent posts about the AM hack (lmao...and Marduk, you'll me happy to know he is definitely not being unemotional and censored on these)

His original name when he started was mhca.....but he changed it to healingroad after he decided to D his batsh*t crazy WW.

I'm pretty sure this is the guy for anybody that's interested.

Like I said....the guy is legit.

lmao...or the most legendary, slippery, and uncatchable troll that ever existed....I mean he's been at it for close to two years.


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Dyokemm said:


> The search feature at SI sucks.....for one thing it only shows a person's most recent posts, so unless the have posted their original story on their profile page its da*n near impossible to get someone's original thread/story if it was from awhile ago.....if there is some trick to their search engine that allows you to access older stuff, I don't know about it and there are no guidelines on the site for doing so.
> 
> But I'm pretty sure I found the guy based on some of his recent posts about the AM hack (lmao...and Marduk, you'll me happy to know he is definitely not being unemotional and censored on these)
> 
> ...


Google FTW...

SurvivingInfidelity.com - I Hate A$hley [email protected]

ETA: Search Google for "surviving infidelity healingroad" and you'll find links to each of his threads... even the archived threads.


----------



## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

Yep....that's him Gus....thought I was right.

Halfway down the page is where he mention's the friend (later shared she was a M counselor) who recommended she have an A using AM because affairs helped her M.

Thanks for providing the link...lmao....I'm pretty computer illiterate on that crap. 

Just saw so many people questioning if the guy was for real....wanted to let them know his handle so they could go see for themselves.

Edit...and thanks for that tip on archived threads.


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Word.


----------



## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

That is a pretty short thread with no real conclusion.


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

farsidejunky said:


> That is a pretty short thread with no real conclusion.


He has multiple threads. I've not read through them all (and likely won't), but I'm sure the story is spread out in stages across each of them.


----------



## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

Gus,

You're right.

He has quite a few threads with his story.


----------



## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

FTR, S.I. is a terrible site. Was it designed in the 90's?


----------



## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

farsidejunky said:


> FTR, S.I. is a terrible site. Was it designed in the 90's?


Terrible site and boy does it attract some vile cheaters. I made the mistake of looking at the wayward side there - scary people...


----------



## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

farsidejunky,

lol....I couldn't agree more.

It is one of the most user-UNfriendly sites I have ever been on when it comes to trying to easily look at a poster's backstory when you read one of their updates.

Some posters help alleviate this by posting their original story on their profile page....but few bother to update it with any significant new info after their first post/Dday.


----------



## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

truthseeker,

You want to see SCARY cheaters....unremorseful, entitled trash?

Go to the OM/OW boards at Loveshack.

SI's waywards are jewels of remorse and accountability compared to those people.


EDIT

And the worst part is they wander over and infect the Infidelity board where new BS's are posting and start spewing their nonsense there.

That and post in that section about how they had 'successful' A's or finally ended their A but never want to tell their BS's about them.....really vile crap.


----------



## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

But I do have to add this,

Witnessing their mindset, excuses, and unrepentant attitudes first hand just reinforces that the tough, no-nonsense expose, file, and demand accountability approach that most TAM members advise is the only way to really deal with them.


----------



## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

Dyokemm said:


> But I do have to add this,
> 
> Witnessing their mindset, excuses, and unrepentant attitudes first hand just reinforces that the tough, no-nonsense expose, file, and demand accountability approach that most TAM members advise is the only way to really deal with them.


Agreed - there were cases where a guy had an affair with his siterinlaw and was pissed that her husband thinks the whole family should hate him and another case where a woman had an affair with her brother in law. In both cases all 4 couples stayed together I can not for the life of me figure out why someone would stay with a spouse who would cheat wiht a family member. That is the lowest of the low pond scum to do that. Scary place...


----------

