# How to prove I'm not a lying



## Soinlove (Nov 26, 2011)

I've been married for two years now but I have been in the relationship for over six years now. Throughout those years my husband has gotten extremely busy and it made me feel lonely.So as sort of a cry for attention I started talking to other men just to get that lacking attention. Needless to say my husband found out twice and just recently a third time. He's debating on whether or not he can trust me. He recently went to jail and now has all this time to worry about what has happened. When I talked to the other men it was just sending of pictures nothing sexual has ever happened because I didn't want that. I love my husband and he has given me an ultimatium of coming clean or prove how I am telling the truth. So my question is how can I prove that I'm not lying this time about what happened and that I truely do love him and want to be with only him?


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## Soinlove (Nov 26, 2011)

He's also talked to the most recent guy who confirmed that nothing happend between us. He was just a co-worker that we talked all the time then it went to far when he asked me to send him pictures. I should've known better and cut it off then but didn't. As soon as my husband found out about this other guy I did stop all contact with him. I just can't seem to figure out a way to prove myself since my past record isn't the greatest.


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

Have you been able to take a look at yourself and ask yourself the tough questions as to why you feel the need to seek attention?
Also have you spoken to him explaining (without blaming) how you feel?


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## Soinlove (Nov 26, 2011)

I have taken time to reflect on myself and realize why I am how I am. I've tried explaining to the best of my ability to my husband at first I blamed him but I really took the time to look at myself and ask myself why this keeps happening. I try to ease his mind that I really am done this time. Wow that sounds horrible. But I still don't know how to get him to believe me. He wants me to confess more has happened, but I can't confess to more as nothing more then everyday conversation and a semi-nude pictures were sent and he knows this and the other guy confirmed it. I offered to take a polygraph, however they are expensive and I really don't think that's the proof he's looking for.


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

You sent a semi-nude picture to another man behind your husband's back and you ask why he should trust you since this is already the third time with three different men......Are you serious?

How would you feel if your husband started up conversation and texting 3 different women because he was lonely and sent one a semi-nude picture. How would you be feeling? Would you be trusting of him? I doubt it. You are married woman and you send a semi nude picture picture to another man behind your husband's back and cannot understand why he does not trust you. I do not think any other husband would trust you either. I do not think you really understand the damage you have done to your relationship.


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## Soinlove (Nov 26, 2011)

I see why he can't trust me. That is not my question my question was how do you prove you're not lying when you've lied so many times before. I have given him everything I can, and he's talked to the other guy who confirmed nothing happened. As I originally said he is in jail now and he has his days one day he is deeply in love with me and wants to move forward and then the next day he is angry with me and just wants answers, and I've openly answered to the best of my ability, but my answers aren't what he wants to hear


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

bryanp said:


> I do not think you really understand the damage you have done to your relationship.


:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

You have a really long road to travel yet.
You have broken his trust 3 times already - there's not a man on this planet who'd be willing to put his trust in you at this moment. This is going to take a whole lot of time and a great deal of effort on your part, I hope you're willing to work at it, and hope that he's willing to let you work at it.


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## always_hopefull (Aug 11, 2011)

Soinlove said:


> When I talked to the other men it was *just sending of pictures nothing sexual has ever happened *because I didn't want that. I love my husband and he has given me an ultimatium of coming clean or prove how I am telling the truth. So my question is how can I prove that I'm not lying this time about what happened and that I truely do love him and want to be with only him?


I hate to tell you this, but sending partially naked pictures is something sexual.



> I see why he can't trust me. That is not my question my question was how do you prove you're not lying when you've lied so many times before. I have given him everything I can, and *he's talked to the other guy who confirmed nothing happened.*


He talked to the other guy who confirmed something did in fact happen. You sent semi-nude pictures to another man.

You have proven yourself to be untrustworthy through your actions. It will be extremely difficult to prove otherwise. However, my advice is to acknowledge the fact that _something sexual did happen_. Ask yourself, would you be so understanding and accepting that "nothing happened" if you found out some other woman was sending your H semi-nude pictures? For the third time?


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

^^^^^^^^what they all said.


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## Soinlove (Nov 26, 2011)

Women have sent him naked pictures before. I got over it the best I could. He said they sent the pictures and he ended it. The pictures were from a girl his dad was trying to hook him up with. But, he hid it from me until one of his friends busted him out. I'll admit our relationship isn't perfect, and now him being gone has really given me the time to think about us and me. I have accepted that I am to blame I just haven't fully clarified that to him. I try to talk to him about other things in our limited calls. Help him not think about the bad but rather the good. I did write him a letter though explaining everything to him but I can't send it out until Monday so he probably won't get it until Wednesday or Thursday.


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## sadcalifornian (Sep 18, 2011)

What do you honestly think the other guy would be doing with your semi-nude picture?


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Do a polygraph.

But it's a waste of time if you honestly think that a guy asking you for pics isn't sexual. You cheated, you gave another access to your body when he asked for it. That's something only your husband should have access to.

As for talking to one of the guys, I wouldn't believe a thing a guy who my wife has been "chatting" w th, especially if I new about the pics.

I aso don't believe you. Three Guys wouldn't be chasing you and asking for pics if they didn't get enough positive response from you. So you've coearly been encouraging them, and they smell smoke.

So frankly, I wonder if you haven't done stuff, but your looking for our help as part of your cover up.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Bartimaus (Oct 15, 2011)

Shouldn't have read this thread, I am in a bad mood tonight towards cheating wives. OP,you are a closet ***** lusting to cheat on your man. You SHOULD NOT be married because you will kill and destroy his soul and spirit. If you were a man...you would be contemplating beating your wives eyes black and blue for accusing you of lusting for a strange D*ICK. OP,you do not have to accept these feelings of wanting to *****. IT'S NOT YOU,IT'S A LIE,DON'T BELIEVE WHAT THOSE DESIRES TELL YOU! YOU ARE NOT A ***** WIFE! DO NOT DO IT AND RUIN YOUR LIFE AND YOUR HUSBANDS.
Girl get out of that lust mental rut and attitude,change what you are doing and thinking about on a daily basis. There are billions of ***** ****s doing their man wrong,rise above that and be better than that girl!


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## always_hopefull (Aug 11, 2011)

Just curious to the age of your H and yourself?


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## Tover26 (Oct 29, 2011)

Ummm, am I the only one who saw you write that your husband is in jail and was getting naked photos of other women sent to him?

FWIW, if my wife ended up in jail right now, I'd have already filed for divorce. Here's the issue I see... your husband is in jail, you both have boundary issues you need to deal with, and frankly, it seems to me like you might both have bigger issues in life than marital harmony.


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## Arnold (Oct 25, 2011)

I agree. Reproducing may be a bad idea, as it will mess with the gene pool.


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