# Wife lies about Ex-husband and everything Why????



## jivey (Jun 18, 2009)

Hi all, I hope someone can help me out. I cannot for the life of me figure out why my wife lies to me all the time. Almost everything is a lie or she is deceiving me about stuff.
She has an ex-husband w/ a kid who is now 13.. We have been married going on 8 yrs. She still talks with him like they are still married. I do not get involved with the things they decide for their son. But, everything this ******* says is gospel and she follows to a tee. No matter how it affects us or me. He has is son so messed up w/ low self esteem about sport and stuff its bad and she does nothing to stop him. My wife walks on egg shells for this guy afraid to upset him and it pisses me off. I tell her all the time I would bury him if he ever hurt her or anything. So she lies about conversation with him and if it comes up she says she told me about it. She lets her mother use our bank account because she is a dead beat and gets her bank account closed for bad checks and stuff. Does not tell me about it and Then lies and says she told me. 
We have fought about lies and not tell me things for yrs. She keeps telling me she is trying. I am like dumb founded trying she reminds me of talking to a teenager girl.
I have never given this woman any reason to hide things from me or lie about anything to me. I do not trust her. She goes out w/ some friends from work sometimes and tells me its just girls. But, its never just girls, there are men co-workers that go w/ them. She lies to me and says no it just girls. I am not a jealous person and do not care if she hangs out w/ her co-workers male or female. As long as they know the boundaries’
We had a pretty big fight over this during the weekend. I am ready to give her and the rest of it up. I love her so much it kills me that she can lie to me w/ out blinking an eye.
What’s a guy to do to get some respect from his wife and for her to cut the **** w/ the ex-husband.. Who treated her like a door mate?


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## GPR (Jan 3, 2009)

Do the two of you have kids together?

I could see that if her husband walked all over her and was an A-hole, that she is probably scared and hides things that she doesn't need to. 

What do you do when you catch her in a lie?


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## jivey (Jun 18, 2009)

GPR said:


> Do the two of you have kids together?
> 
> I could see that if her husband walked all over her and was an A-hole, that she is probably scared and hides things that she doesn't need to.
> 
> What do you do when you catch her in a lie?


No we do not have any kids together..but are trying.

yes her ex is an ass treated her like dirt cheated on her and made her feel worthless. he never beat her from what I know. but was mentally abusive.

When, i catch her in lies. I ask why? and what did i do to deserve to be lied to. She says I do not know why and she try's to say she has told me about it. Each time she does this i get more pissed off. i am on the verg of leaving and have told her that before.
She says she loves me more then anything in the world says i am the best lover, friend, husband, soul mate, and cook. So, i say if i am all these things why lie to me and i get same answer.. I do not know why
It really blows my mind

Her mother lies and does stuff behind her dads back all the time
the man doesn't have a clue what goes on in his house.
Well, i am not her dad i want to be told whats going on and be told the truth


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## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

STOP TRYING TO GET PREGNANT!

You need to get this straightened out first or leave before any kids come along.

You can NOT have a child in your current relationship situation.

This woman needs counseling of some sort, when she is caught she doesn't know how to admit to it and apologize, she adds another lie on top "well, I told you..."


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## GPR (Jan 3, 2009)

It sounds sad to say, because this is your wife.... but you need to treat her like a 6 year old, with a combination of Negative and Positive reinforcement. You have to get upset with her when she lies. Treat her like a little kid. Hell, maybe give her a timeout or something...

Then you have to be sure if she does tell you the truth about something bad, that you don't get too upset about it, even if it's not at her, but about the news. She has to realize that it's OK to tell you something even if it's bad.


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## Blonddeee (Dec 17, 2008)

Tell her she needs to talk to someone about this because you are at the end of your rope. Some people are able to lie easier then others... it's a good thing I don't lie alot because I'm awful at it. Some people just can't seem to stop and once they start lying about something, it just snowballs into having to lie about everything. 
She might have gotten used to lying to keep the peace with her ex and now it's how she deals with things... hopefully with counseling she'll be able to get past that...


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

My xgf lied to me over the course of our 3.5 year relationship. I didn't realize it until near the end because she couldn't keep her stories straight. 

And it sucks to find out someone you trusted has lied to you. 

She came over to my place wanted to talk to me last Monday (my day off) and I simply told he no and closed the door. I would never believe anything else she might say...

So, I'd have some real issues were I in your place. Separate your bank accounts and make her get counseling.


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## jivey (Jun 18, 2009)

Thanks All for the input. She tells me she is going to go to counseling and she is having a sit down w/ our Pastor.

Like I said before it really blows my mind why she does this.
If any of you knew her and us. You would be dumb founded.
other then the lies She is really good to me. We do everything together.
We have great sex together. Other then material things.
I give her everything she needs.


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## Daddyme (Jul 25, 2009)

You cant trust a liar. Been there. DO NOT HAVE A CHILD WITH THIS WOMEN. I am having one with her after I left her. How do you like that. I am not even sure if its mine. Pretty sad. She said its mine. I dont know, she lied to me about everything.
You say she loves you. Well, how do you know that's not a lie. Women like that can carry on a charrade in multiple places and you wont know anything. Its a habbit. She needs years and years of therapy.On your watch. You want a partner my friend, not a student. Truth lays the foundation for trust and she cant provide that. And you dont want to be the one suffering through years of this learning phase. Life is too short to be with someone like that. Here is a bottom line:
You want a partner not a Pupil. Enjoy your life with someone who shares the same values you grew up with. Not with someone who pretends that they dont know. They all know. They choose not to practice for their own convenience.


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## jivey (Jun 18, 2009)

Thanks for all the feed back. I have decided to give her the opportunity to make it up to me. She is also going to start counseling.
I really hope she keeps her word. I know this may sound crazy.
But, i really do love my wife more then my own life. I would give my life to save my wife's life.
If she fails me. Then I will have to get used to being alone for my elder yrs.
If she does **** up it will probably be something stupid.
nothing worse then someone saying they love you with all there heart and in the same breath lie about something else.
my thought is if someone loves you that much. they would not want to hurt you so much.

I waited til i was older and wiser and more settled before i married. So I knew the women i married I would love for the rest of my life and would not need anything from any other women ever no matter what.


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## Horacio (Aug 3, 2015)

Happening to me. Drinking, lying, stories that never jive, now calling me a name that is not may name.
"Mark"? Who the heck is Mark. Out of nowhere, except this one guy Mark she med at AA who was after her.
And she defend him as "nothing but a firmed." Now his name pops up. Lies all the way around. Now she is making excuses why she misses work. She has a history of being fired and lying. She promised the lies were all behind and I married her. Took her 12 year-old daughter and loved her as my own. Now her ex is part of the deal and I want out so bad. I am not first and this is becoming a nightmare for me. My intuition said not, but love is blind, right?
This was never in my plan. I was lied to, but I don't want to lie to God and divorce, but in my selfish heart, I want out.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Horacio said:


> Happening to me. Drinking, lying, stories that never jive, now calling me a name that is not may name.
> "Mark"? Who the heck is Mark. Out of nowhere, except this one guy Mark she med at AA who was after her.
> And she defend him as "nothing but a firmed." Now his name pops up. Lies all the way around. Now she is making excuses why she misses work. She has a history of being fired and lying. She promised the lies were all behind and I married her. Took her 12 year-old daughter and loved her as my own. Now her ex is part of the deal and I want out so bad. I am not first and this is becoming a nightmare for me. My intuition said not, but love is blind, right?
> This was never in my plan. I was lied to, but I don't want to lie to God and divorce, but in my selfish heart, I want out.


You should probably start your own thread, because this one is nearly 6 years old.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Horacio you dug up a zombie thread:wink2:
No big deal but go ahead and start your own thread in cwi if you think she is stepping out.
You will get some great advice.
One thing you should do NOW is purchase a few voice activated recorders stick one in the house and one in her car OR if you have the money hire a PI.


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