# Why doesn't he acknowledge that I want a separation?



## onemorethought (Oct 17, 2011)

My husband cheated on me two years and ago and got caught and it devastated me. He was sexting and I snooped in his phone and wish I never had. But, since then, my health has gone down hill, depression and fibromyalgia. The more time that went on the deeper I fell out of love with him. Over the last 6 months, I have tried to get him to understand that I don't want to be with him anymore and he acts like he doesn't hear me. Still calls me babe, still tries to live the life that we had and its like he thinks that if he doesn't have to talk about it, it doesn't exist. How can I get him to realize that its over for me, it truly is. I don't want another man, I want to be on my own again, taking care of me for once. He destroyed my heart and there is nothing he can do about it now. Help!


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## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

onemorethought said:


> My husband cheated on me two years and ago and got caught and it devastated me. He was sexting and I snooped in his phone and wish I never had. But, since then, my health has gone down hill, depression and fibromyalgia. The more time that went on the deeper I fell out of love with him. Over the last 6 months, I have tried to get him to understand that I don't want to be with him anymore and he acts like he doesn't hear me. Still calls me babe, still tries to live the life that we had and its like he thinks that if he doesn't have to talk about it, it doesn't exist. How can I get him to realize that its over for me, it truly is. I don't want another man, I want to be on my own again, taking care of me for once. He destroyed my heart and there is nothing he can do about it now. Help!


Actions speak louder than words, you present him with separation papers.


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## onemorethought (Oct 17, 2011)

Thanks Trey, I hear ya! I guess that is what it is going to take... I wanted to make it easy on him and just let me go, but, I guess it is going to have to be me looking like a ***** to get him to understand!


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Leave.


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## onemorethought (Oct 17, 2011)

Easier said than done. I want to but money is a big issue and he refuses to leave. I could have him removed but then his violent nature would take over and I fear he would destroy the house, my car, etc. The mortgage is in myname only and I want to leave and just let the dang thing go into forclosure.


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## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

onemorethought said:


> Easier said than done. I want to but money is a big issue and he refuses to leave. I could have him removed but then his violent nature would take over and I fear he would destroy the house, my car, etc. The mortgage is in myname only and I want to leave and just let the dang thing go into forclosure.


You will need to make a choice. Apparently he isn't going to. Put your house up for sell, find something you can afford. If it goes into foreclosure it just does.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Why should he acknowledge what you want? He's apparently ok with the way things are, and you're not doing anything about it. There's no incentive for him to do anything.

C


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## AgentD (Dec 27, 2010)

My dad once told me when I was considering leaving my husband a few years ago, "If its you that wants out, then its you that needs to make that happen. By you leaving, or whatever." You can't really want to be the one to end it and expect the other person to just leave if you are the one that wants out. 

He isn't going to leave, if its you that wants out. Contact a lawyer about your house situation. In some states, if you are the only person on the mortgage, then its your house, so really he would need to leave, However, that would probably end up having to go to court. 

it wont be easy and its probably going to get worse and messy before it gets better. Don't just tell him you want it to end or you want him to leave, you need to take action.


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

onemorethought said:


> Over the last 6 months, I have tried to get him to understand that I don't want to be with him anymore and he acts like he doesn't hear me. Still calls me babe, still tries to live the life that we had.


Its because he doesn't want to deal with it. He wants to let what he did go, and he expects you to do the same. Don't do that if its not what you want to do. If he hurt you and its not something you can get past, then I don't blame you, its time to move on. 

As others have said you are going to have to show some action. Talk to a lawyer find out what your rights are etc. Don't do anything just yet until you have consulted a lawyer.


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