# Dealing with my Ex Wife some insight and ideas needed!?



## AJaxGrafton (Nov 21, 2012)

In a nutshell on the past: I did not cheat, I loved her very much. she left me, for some old FB flame, we have 3 boys 6,8,10. I am a great father, I took care of the boys when we were together, because I had a business that I ran from home. We were together 12 years, before we married, her father asked me to come over for dinner to talk with me. He explained that I should not marry her because he has tried to fix her all her life and she is always discontent. He tried to save me. 
Now, I pay my Child Support, and always try to be upbeat and progressive. She is always mad when I call to talk to the boys, she hangs up the phone on me. Always, Always pissed. I don't get it she left me? 
The straw broke today when I called just to have the boys come over to my house for overnight, and return so she can do Turkey dinner not with family, with friends, because none of her family contact her anymore because its always drama. I called my parents and they say "the hell with it! Don't call anymore, the kids have your phone number its time to sever all the past and completely move on. The hell with her. She will just keep trying to control you."
So I am just thinking and seeing what others think.

Thanks to all and happy turkey day!!


----------



## in my tree (Jun 9, 2012)

I understand that dealing with her is bad and she makes things difficult but please put your kids ahead of her. Yes, they probably have your number but they are young and *they* are the kids. Show them how a real adult (you) acts like and put their needs before your own. I say this as a child of a father who didn't like dealing with my mother (his ex) and so therefore stopped contact with me. It hurt and it still hurts. 

Also I know that you were seeking answers from men but this one really hits home.


----------



## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

It's not your kids' fault that you married a psycho. Everything has a price and the price you must pay is that you occasionally have to swap howdies with a psycho in order to maintain a relationship with your kids. The good news is kids don't stay young forever and they can recognize "crazy" and "unstable" as easily as you can...maybe even better. They will soon be teens and start to be pains in her behind. Being a selfish psycho, your ex will probably send them to you as they become difficult for her to handle. Suck it up and do whatever it takes to keep the boys in your life.


----------



## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

AMEN, AMEN, AMEN! THIS, right here...


> It's not your kids' fault that you married a psycho. Everything has a price and the price you must pay is that you occasionally have to swap howdies with a psycho in order to maintain a relationship with your kids. The good news is kids don't stay young forever and they can recognize "crazy" and "unstable" as easily as you can...maybe even better. They will soon be teens and start to be pains in her behind. Being a selfish psycho, your ex will probably send them to you as they become difficult for her to handle. Suck it up and do whatever it takes to keep the boys in your life.


----------



## Married in VA (Jan 6, 2012)

My question to you is this:

Why do you "Pay your child support" when your wife is such a psycho? It seems to me that you should be the primary custodian of your children. Did you just give her custody or was this determined to be "in the best interest of the children" by somebody wearing a black robe and wielding a gavel? 

Sounds like you may need to take your ex back to court and re-visit the visitation and contact issue again. Recommend if you don't have primary physical custody of your kids you get it. Sounds like they need a real parent in their lives.


----------



## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

AjaxGrafton

Sorry you're going through with what you're going through. My situation is similar to yours with the exception my ex never tried to inhibit my relationship with my kids. As my kids got older one thing was nice was cell phones. It allowed me to contact the kids directly without going through their mother. Of course the generation they are this was through texting more than talking. Your kids are a little young but do you think the oldest would be responsible enough to handle a cell phone? 

If not, you have to be prepared to suffer the abuse of your ex to reach out to your kids. They have to know you're making every effort to be part of their lives. Always take the high road. Leave to your ex to roll in the muck.


----------



## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Fight back.

Not in front of the boys. And if you perceive they are being impacted by her dysfunction; fight like hell.

Never deal with an irrational person expecting them to behave rationally.

Do you want to say "the hell with it."?


----------

