# Reformed WS



## looking for clarity (Aug 12, 2013)

What made you see the light. I can not talk for others, but I promise not to judge or get mad. I'm just trying to see why serial cheaters stop cheating.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## rubpy3 (Nov 19, 2013)

does it happen?


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## looking for clarity (Aug 12, 2013)

Some of the posters on here have said they are reformed serial cheaters.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## verpin zal (Feb 23, 2013)

"I'm a reformed serial cheater" = "I'm being monitored heavily"

WS who say "i'm a reformed one" on their own, I bow before them.

Those who decide to "reform" only after getting caught can try again.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Serial cheaters are obviously different from someone who gets caught up in an affair once. I think whatever makes someone a serial cheater never goes away. Maybe it stops for awhile but I don't think they ever permanently stop. The high they get from cheating is like a drug.


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## Janky (Nov 26, 2013)

Is it serial if they only cheat on everyone they are in a relationship with or if they cheat on one person constantly?

I have seen men/woman cheat on one person constantly and the next person they are with, they dont at all.

Its a little confusing at times.


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

looking for clarity said:


> What made you see the light. I can not talk for others, but I promise not to judge or get mad. I'm just trying to see why serial cheaters stop cheating.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Read the "reconciliation" thread from start to now and you'll have your answer.


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## Furious George (Nov 14, 2011)

looking for clarity said:


> What made you see the light. I can not talk for others, but I promise not to judge or get mad. I'm just trying to see why serial cheaters stop cheating.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I think there is a distinct difference between a WS and a serial cheater. However, the one common denominator I've seen over and over is that neither of them stop on their own. It seems that they always find their conscious after they are caught. 

Career criminals rarely stop committing crimes, serial killers rarely stop killing until caught. Why would a serial cheater just stop on their own? I suppose if there is a clinical underlying cause like a sex addiction or bipolar disorder, that could be treated and the cheating could stop.


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

Honestly I don't know what made me see the light. All I know is that one day I woke up disgusted at the man I had become. I literally couldn't stand myself. It was as if all the guilt I should have felt in the first place came all at once. 

I told my wife everything. I knew my life as I knew it would most likely be over, but I coudn't lie anymore. But to my surprise my wife found it in her heart to forgive me. That was over ten years ago. I never cheated again. I basically had to remove certain friends and stop going to places like clubs. I also don't drink unless I'm at home with my wife. I really haven't been tempted since I readjusted my boundaries.

I did indeed deserve the karma bus myself, but I'm very grateful that my wife chose to recognize that I could change. She doesn't watch me like a hawk or anything like that. For her the fact that I admitted everything was an indication that I couldn't go on living two lives.


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## wranglerman (May 12, 2013)

When I was a single guy fresh from my divorce I had a chick at home for comfort but worked away, and I was nailing just about anything with a heart beat!!!

I, at that time could very well have been considered a serial cheater, texting her to say, "sorry I missed your call, bit busy now, ring when I get time", and the whole time be up to my nuts in guts with some random chick from a bar.

What made me change???

Nothing made me, I met a woman who I liked and had a connection with, and I "chose" to end my relationship with the girl back home and to stop with the sleeping around.

It was a period of growing and change, but I wanted to be straight and honest with a new woman in my life.

Sadly my exW ruined that relationship and I was never the same again after that.

My wife knows fully my history and also knew me when I was married to my first wife so knows first hand that I was an honest and decent guy but fell into a false mindset where it was ok to be selfish, but I grew and became a man again.


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

Furious George said:


> I think there is a distinct difference between a WS and a serial cheater. However, the one common denominator I've seen over and over is that neither of them stop on their own. It seems that they always find their conscious after they are caught.
> 
> Career criminals rarely stop committing crimes, serial killers rarely stop killing until caught. Why would a serial cheater just stop on their own? I suppose if there is a clinical underlying cause like a sex addiction or bipolar disorder, that could be treated and the cheating could stop.


Not sure. My wife seems to have changed and stopped. Does not change the past. I am currently working with a mobster, he received a life sentence for a contract murder. Got out after 7 years on a technicality. He seems to have changed. Left the mob and that life some years ago. Funny, the two other guys who did the hit with him, all did plea deals and squealed on each other and the mob. In the aftermath other mobsters were sent to the slammer and the three hit men have lived their lives without the mob coming after them. I asked my client about this and he said, he did his time and he will be left alone, he said the mob has bigger fish to fry.


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## Furious George (Nov 14, 2011)

Thorburn said:


> Not sure. My wife seems to have changed and stopped. Does not change the past. I am currently working with a mobster, he received a life sentence for a contract murder. Got out after 7 years on a technicality. He seems to have changed. Left the mob and that life some years ago. Funny, the two other guys who did the hit with him, all did plea deals and squealed on each other and the mob. In the aftermath other mobsters were sent to the slammer and the three hit men have lived their lives without the mob coming after them. I asked my client about this and he said, he did his time and he will be left alone, he said the mob has bigger fish to fry.


I would concede there are exceptions to every rule or situation. Glad you are experiencing one of these rare instances. As for the mob, things sure are different since the Gotti era. Back in those days, leaving the mob voluntarily wasn't an option. And bygones certainly weren't bygones. Some of those 80's and 90's guys who ratted are still in Witness Protection. But that stuff is for another forum...


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## ClairesDad (Aug 27, 2013)

I think I'd have to classilfy my wife as a serial cheater. She cheated on her first husband during their first separation. She and I have been married for 3 1/2 years and already she had an EA (supposedly that was all it was, I have my doubts) and one PA. She was remorseful about both, but only after I caught her. We are separated, she moved out. She is trying hard to win me back, but I'm very doubtful that the cheating won't happen again. She has a history. I'm kind of happy living without her, just me and my kids. I don't think I want to go back to living with her again, always wondering, never knowing for sure if she's being faithful. That's an F'd up way to live. I deserve better and there are plenty of other good, decent women who wouldn't cheat on me.


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## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

There was a poster here some time ago, he was a cheater, and was in the process of 'recovering' from that lifestyle. He was regretful of that life and was busy soul searching, hence I guess the reason for arriving at this site. His wife never had a clue, and he was on the 'should she know' question. He must have told her as he took a long break from here and then popped back in briefly...I think they were split up by then...he must have confessed. 

They do exist. Just not very often, and certainly few on here. I guess a realisation arrives. Maturing.


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## DarkHoly (Dec 18, 2012)

You presume much in your question.


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