# Truly Lost



## justabovewater (Jun 26, 2011)

I don’t know where I’m at in this whole process. I seem to have it together on most days and then out of the blue I have a day like today where I feel confused, angry, scared, sad, you name it. My weekend started out fine, great in fact. Friday night I get a surprise gift from the stbxh…a new lawn mower. This comes on the heels of him actually putting the lawn in for me about a month ago. He took time off of work to put it in….and wanted the whole thing to be a surprise even. I was very surprised and appreciative, but how many stbx’s go out and spend that kind of money on something for the one they want to divorce? That’s where the confusion comes in. We’ve gotten along so well through the last 9 or so months that we’ve been separated that it borders on strange. So, here we are, 9 months into our separation and I’m still having bad days. Shouldn’t I be past this by now? I guess you can’t forget or get over 28 years together in 9 months, but geeze, when does the roller coaster ride even out?


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

I am hoping to find a distraction so that it will lessen the roller coaster rides. 

I guess you should try to feel good about being able to get along.
Nice about the lawn and mower.


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## Wildflower3 (Nov 20, 2011)

Honestly!! It's like all of us separatees/divorcees are on the same cycle. Sorry men, TMI, but kinda like when women are roommates and they get on the same menstrual cycle!! We're all on the same roller coaster taking the drops and corkscrews all at the same time!!

Why is he doing these things for you? 

I'd be so confused and over analyzing every move as hope for reconciliation. That makes it so hard!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sadwithouthim (Dec 8, 2011)

justabovewater said:


> I don’t know where I’m at in this whole process. I seem to have it together on most days and then out of the blue I have a day like today where I feel confused, angry, scared, sad, you name it. My weekend started out fine, great in fact. Friday night I get a surprise gift from the stbxh…a new lawn mower. This comes on the heels of him actually putting the lawn in for me about a month ago. He took time off of work to put it in….and wanted the whole thing to be a surprise even. I was very surprised and appreciative, but how many stbx’s go out and spend that kind of money on something for the one they want to divorce? That’s where the confusion comes in. We’ve gotten along so well through the last 9 or so months that we’ve been separated that it borders on strange. So, here we are, 9 months into our separation and I’m still having bad days. Shouldn’t I be past this by now? I guess you can’t forget or get over 28 years together in 9 months, but geeze, when does the roller coaster ride even out?


Its the confusion he is showing. I think that is why I struggled so much as my husband is very good financially to me. He is very generous with gifts. Why for someone they want to divorce? I dont get it either. 

I learned in DC that statistics show it takes about a year for every four years of marriage to heal after divorce. 

Try and do something special for yourself. Feel better!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jenny123 (Mar 21, 2012)

Maybe this is his way of starting to say "I'm sorry"? Maybe he is just feeling guilty? Maybe he is just weird like my stbxh, who now wants counseling all of a sudden?
Who knows. I cant figure out these men:scratchhead:
Wildflower you are so right about us women feeling this way at the same time. What is going on?

Justabove......I'm sorry you are having a bad day. Yesterday was so bad for me I thought I was having a nervous breakdown. Here's to a better tomorrow for all of us!!


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## Wildflower3 (Nov 20, 2011)

sadwithouthim said:


> Its the confusion he is showing. I think that is why I struggled so much as my husband is very good financially to me. He is very generous with gifts. Why for someone they want to divorce? I dont get it either.
> 
> I learned in DC that statistics show it takes about a year for every four years of marriage to heal after divorce.
> 
> ...


Hm. My STBXH told me that exact same statistic when we first separated...

Wonder how long he'd been researching divorce before he actually left.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Wildflower3 (Nov 20, 2011)

jenny123 said:


> Wildflower you are so right about us women feeling this way at the same time. What is going on?


It's not just the women though! The men seem to be on the same cycle too! What's happening?!?!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## justabovewater (Jun 26, 2011)

These moods and the whole situation makes me think of the weird weather we've all had over the last year. Maybe our separations/divorces are all part of global warming! 

I appreciate all the feedback. I highly doubt he's trying to say he's sorry, but you never know, I guess. He's got too much pride to EVER admit he may have been wrong about something, or even to say I may have made a bad choice. He'll take stuff to the grave with him.

I guess I have to live by faith and know that I am where I am suppose to be right now. If I try to figure this all out by myself I'm going to have to be admitted!

Thanks agin, this board has been a godsend.


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