# Dumped, cheated on and still feeling guilty



## VA_Joe (Sep 15, 2012)

Quick summary:
-Married 18 years next month.
-Intimacy issues following treatment for prostate cancer two years ago created distance (or made existing issues worse).
-Past July, wife tell me she's done (dead inside, no feelings for me).
-Coincidentally (?), at the same time, she reconnected with High School boyfriend. Texting and Facebook messages were non-stop (100s per day).
-At the same time, she cuts me off completely. No conversations at all. Fully focused on emotional relationship with him.
-November, after one month of counseling, I decided to start separation because I could not live in the same house while she was constantly in contact with him. Recommended by counselor and attorney after verifying this wasn't considered abandonment.
-3 weeks after the separation, she meets him in a hotel 3 1/2 hour away.
-I expected this trip and as advised by my attorney hired a PI to document the encounter. Hand holding and overnight hotel with a single bed.
-Attorney advises I have a great case to pursue fault based divorce and minimal spousal support. In Virginia, adultery could be a bar to spousal support.

Her actions clearly demonstrate a complete disregard for me the past 8 months and certainly didn't give us credit for the previous 17+ years.

Now that I'm in a position to protect myself and children (3) financially, she's claims that she doesn't get credit for the previous 17+ years.

I still love her and only wanted the chance to work on the relationship. I don't think there's any chance of that now although I'd be willing if she were.

I'm struggling with how to protect myself financially (3 kids to put through college) and not simply support her as if nothing happened.

Anyone go through a similar experience?

Thanks for listening.


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