# Explicit pix and videos of Ex



## Ru.Salt (Jan 4, 2016)

Early in to our marriage (2013) husband went through an old computer 
That I hadn't accessed since 2010. He dug through photos and videos and essentially created a folder of photos and pics of past relationships that he felt were unacceptable and needed to be purged. He hovered over me until he was satisfied they were deleted. Controlling, yes. Am I still annoyed? Yes. I think it was unnecessary for me to have to get rid of clean memories that I wasn't fawning over.

Fast forward to 2016 I needed a micro SD card for a throw away phone for my 7 yr pold. He brought me a small case with several different SD cards. I knew they had to have belonged to the hubs as he changes phones and devices often. 

Of course I went through them. I found thousands of pix and VERY explicit up close first person videos of him with his ex. Like, dude may as well have had a go pro on going in. This was a very bad break up prior to us dating and he used to frequently lament about their dynamic being so"different" I get that.

The files were recently accessed and carefully named with creative detail. So, I know he was looking at them as recently as Dec 20.

But, in regards to these obviously not clean memories:

Quid pro quo? Or let it go?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*IMHO, I'd be forced to go with the old phrase, "What's good for the goose is good for the gander!"

In essence, I would greatly suspect that he's got some serious explaining to do! And greatly to the point that during your cross-examination of him, that he'll either be doing some humiliating "stuttering and waffling" along with some awfully humbling "crow-eating!"*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

I would delete them all and not say a word. Then, wait and see his reaction. Then, give it to him good when he ask if you access his files.>


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

I would actually replace all the pictures with other pictures, maybe 2 dudes macking or something like that lol.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Ru.Salt said:


> Quid pro quo? Or let it go?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Odds are he got so upset with you having old pictures because he knew himself "what" he was using his old photos to do. Instead of getting angry at himself for what he was doing, he took it out on you.

Similiar situation I have friends in which the wife has had multiple affairs and her husband has no idea. She once noticed her husband acting funny around one of his coworkers and she got furious and got him to admit he once had a crush on her but that he never did anything other than to think about her a few times when he masturbated. Of course my friend (the wife) went ballistic and got out-of-control angry for days on end. While confiding in me to try to figure out to what to do with her emotions and if she could forgive her husband, I asked if perhaps she felt guilty for having cheated on him and that was the real reason she was so angry was because she could not forgive herself for what she had done. She got quiet and never answered...

Regards, 
Badsanta


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## Vorlon (Sep 13, 2012)

badsanta said:


> Odds are he got so upset with you having old pictures because he knew himself "what" he was using his old photos to do. Instead of getting angry at himself for what he was doing, he took it out on you.
> 
> Similiar situation I have friends in which the wife has had multiple affairs and her husband has no idea. She once noticed her husband acting funny around one of his coworkers and she got furious and got him to admit he once had a crush on her but that he never did anything other than to think about her a few times when he masturbated. Of course my friend (the wife) went ballistic and got out-of-control angry for days on end. While confiding in me to try to figure out to what to do with her emotions and if she could forgive her husband, I asked if perhaps she felt guilty for having cheated on him and that was the real reason she was so angry was because she could not forgive herself for what she had done. She got quiet and never answered...
> 
> ...



Thread Jack... but just curious BadSanta ...Really! You seem to be a tell it like it is person and let the chips fall where they may... 

Why is this person still a friend and why haven't you informed the cuckold husband?


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

I don't think explicit photos of the past relationships have any business in the new relationship. I think he was right to want you to delete yours and an absolute hypocrite to have his own. Call him on it immediately and stand over his shoulder, as he once did, and watch him do it. That should have been done years ago


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Vorlon said:


> Thread Jack... but just curious BadSanta ...Really! You seem to be a tell it like it is person and let the chips fall where they may...
> 
> Why is this person still a friend and why haven't you informed the cuckold husband?


Not wanting to thread jack here, but just give a working example to the OP. 

As for your question, The wife that had the affairs regrets it and acknowledges that it was a horrible thing to do. It happened over ten years ago when she was first married and her husband was threatening to leave her (he even once left her on the side of the road in LA in an attempt to end the relationship). So the dynamics there are far from what you would describe as a cuckold situation. More like a high school break up and then they eventually got back together (except they were still married the whole time), but she never mentioned the relationship she had during the interim when he dumped her. 

Regardless, she carries a lot of guilt that she never told him. I never said anything because at the time she would have been subject to deportation because she was an immigrant filing for residency. Just because you get married as an immigrant, does not automatically give you the right to live somewhere. In the US, it still requires years of paperwork AFTER getting married. 

Badsanta


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

I'd delete them and not say anything. If he brings it up tell him that you found them and assumed he'd support you deleting them since he stood over you while you deleted yours.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ru.Salt (Jan 4, 2016)

All great suggestions. Each scenario plays out differently in my head.


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

Just delete all of them. Search through every computer and device you guys own. Purge them

Then wait. See how long it takes for him to ask about it. Once he finally does....request an explanation..right then...if he says he needs time...tell him he already had X days. 

You have the high ground, he demonstrated to you, through the deletions he required of you, what the standard would be going forward....and he kinda sounds like a douche with a corrupted version of fair play bouncing around in the brain


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Ru.Salt said:


> All great suggestions. Each scenario plays out differently in my head.


If you want to add a devious twist, delete them from his phone, move them over to your phone or computer and let him catch you looking at them! 

If you just want to make yourself feel a lot better. Photoshop all the photos of his ex girlfriends so they all have mustaches or something hideously screwed up about them. 










Cheers, 
Badsanta


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

It would seem there are two issues you need to discuss with your husband. First his careless with his person exotic material and then his hypocrisy. On the former you need to light into him. 

As to the hypocrisy it is what it is. Call him on it, demand he follow his own demands. Do you find at times he tends to be "I'm the guy" in his attitude towards you? If not I would say that his double standard is an assumption that while his pics mean nothing to him other then a cheap ego boast, he thinks for a women they must mean more. It could be he thinks for a women sex means more since she is taking a man into her body. 

Bottom line each gender has many misconceptions about each other based on simple behavior and the physical nature of sex and how our bodies work. 

If you really want to send him into obit ask him: if I went into a medium size bar on both a Friday and Saturday night and all I want was to get any average looking height and weight propotional guy who was showered and had clean and short finger nails between my legs, how hard do you think it would be for me to score? Oh, and I had and payed for the motel room.


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## Tito Santana (Jul 9, 2015)

Ru.Salt said:


> All great suggestions. Each scenario plays out differently in my head.


The only correct answer is pretty much what Ellis Redding said. Replace files with male-male porn, "find the files", go to hubby with shocked look on your face and ask him if he needs to tell you something, and then fake cry while you play movies for him....

I know why he's keeping the videos-- so he can relive his past conquests. However, if he made you give up all of your innocent paraphernalia, this stuff has got to go. Absolutely no legit reason for him to still have it.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Replace all his pictures with this >


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## giddiot (Jun 28, 2015)

I would take a lighter and melt it into goo then put it on his night stand and tell him you found his stash. Also search everything else. Keep the name of a few, it will make it easy to search for them elsewhere.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Vorlon (Sep 13, 2012)

badsanta said:


> Not wanting to thread jack here, but just give a working example to the OP.
> 
> As for your question, The wife that had the affairs regrets it and acknowledges that it was a horrible thing to do. It happened over ten years ago when she was first married and her husband was threatening to leave her (he even once left her on the side of the road in LA in an attempt to end the relationship). So the dynamics there are far from what you would describe as a cuckold situation. More like a high school break up and then they eventually got back together (except they were still married the whole time), but she never mentioned the relationship she had during the interim when he dumped her.
> 
> ...



OK thanks. Now back to our regularly scheduled program


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## WonkyNinja (Feb 28, 2013)

Ru.Salt said:


> Early in to our marriage (2013) husband went through an old computer
> That I hadn't accessed since 2010. He dug through photos and videos and essentially created a folder of photos and pics of past relationships that he felt were unacceptable and needed to be purged. He hovered over me until he was satisfied they were deleted. Controlling, yes. Am I still annoyed? Yes. I think it was unnecessary for me to have to get rid of clean memories that I wasn't fawning over.
> 
> Fast forward to 2016 I needed a micro SD card for a throw away phone for my 7 yr pold. He brought me a small case with several different SD cards. I knew they had to have belonged to the hubs as he changes phones and devices often.
> ...


I agree with all the previous messages about him being a hypocrite and you need to call him on it, but he's also an idiot.

He gave you his case of SD cards knowing that a) his secret homemade porn stash was in there and b) you needed this for your 7 year old son. That is way beyond careless and irresponsible.

You need to bring this up with him immediately, your son could have ended up with those photos on his phone.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

I'd have that stuff backed-up on my computer, CD, flash drive and on the cloud. Not that I actually have anything like that. Really. I don't. Have any. Much.


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## WonkyNinja (Feb 28, 2013)

Chris Taylor said:


> I'd have that stuff backed-up on my computer, CD, flash drive and on the cloud. Not that I actually have anything like that. Really. I don't. Have any. Much.


I can give you a list of celebrities that wouldn't agree with you on the cloud storage. :grin2:


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## Ru.Salt (Jan 4, 2016)

My seven year son is the one that brought me the case of SD cards. 

I decided to gently "relocate" the files and wait to see how long it takes him to go frantically searching through said SD cards for his stash.

I failed to mention previously that they were cleverly hidden in vacation photos that he had taken with his father prior to his passing. 

In the interim, I am going to have a little fun with it and follow advice to replace with pics I know he would find offensive. Suddenly the fact that some of his files reading "K deep pen shaved" brings forth a delicious bout of devious behavior.

Once he panics over the loss of his precious, meticulously labeled photos I will slyly reinsert the modified files in to his folder labeled "Dad NFL hall of fame "

Bish already looks like a man. Let's have some fun.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Call him on his hypocrisy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Max.HeadRoom (Jun 28, 2014)

Mr Taylor above has a great point; that data is most likely somewhere else too.


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## jdawg2015 (Feb 12, 2015)

Photo shop him in a threesome with two dudes giving it too him :evil:

But in all honesty why in the world someone who is married would keep such things around and not expect hard feelings if found has to be the biggest idiot known to mankind.

If that were me I would make him pay dearly and make him delete them in front of you as well. Definitely don't let him off the hook so easily.
Very disrespectful to your marriage.

This is the kind of thing that should be discussed before marriage actually.

Please let us know what you decide.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Ru.Salt said:


> I decided to gently "relocate" the files and wait to see how long it takes him to go frantically searching through said SD cards for his stash.
> 
> *In the interim, I am going to have a little fun with it. *



There is a story about some workers that hated their boss, so they stole his glasses. They mailed them around the world along with instructions for people to take a photo of them wearing the glasses, forward the glasses to another address and then send the photo as a post card to the original owner. The result is that these people's boss has been getting photos from all over the world of random strangers wearing his glasses.

You have to think epic @Ru.Salt and seize an opportunity of a lifetime. Find one photo that is not too embarrassing. Email it to random friends. Have them print it out and photograph it somewhere famous (like the ifile tower), and begin mailing these photos to your husband as a postcards!

Cheers, 
Badsanta


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