# Has your sex life improved/intensified as your marriage progresses?



## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

We are 18 years in/married for 14, and got together VERY young (16-17)....4 kids......and although initially our sex was off the charts and still is today.....I've noticed that thru the years, it has only gotten better? 

Does this seem weird? Reading thru this forums and generally what I see in life with other people, it seems like sex life only gets worse for people etc.

I'm on the opposite end. 

Sure, we don't have 3-4 hour sessions like back in teenage years.....but man, when we go at it now days, it just seems to get better and better. 

Almost seems like more we age/live.......the experience we have together (kids/family etc) makes our connection that much deeper? Our sex has been more intense than ever, I like it more and more (same for her).......we are certainly complete nymphos hehe

Is this weird/normal? 

Whenever I hear guys/married couples talk about "lack of sex" it's hard for me to relate cause it's completely opposite to me. I usually reply with "you shouldn't be married if you are not satisfied in intimacy dept"......people look at me weird.

Personally, I know this is really good and I love it, but just curious if others have experienced similar thing?

I'm also curious to see if anyone has been in this position this deep into relationship/marriage (18/14 years and if it ever ended or kept progressing?

Am I the only guy on this planet that can say that I have been completely satisfied AND some in the sex department in my marriage? I know this can't POSSIBLY be true, but it just feels like it at times...

:scratchhead::scratchhead::scratchhead:


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

I was 19 when I started dating my wife, and 21 when we married. So ya, we're both better at sex now 22 years later. Much better IMHO. I would say that the quality of our sex life looks kind of like an upside down bell curve.


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

Good for you DoF! I have been married almost 28 years and we have maintained a very healthy sex life. The first few years of our marriage, we had sex almost every day. We've slowed down some, but still maintain a very active sex life. We agreed at the beginning of our marriage that we would always make sex a priority in our marriage. So far, we have kept our agreement. I hope we can continue to have sex into our senior years.............


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Ok, yes I'm a math nerd. Yes, that may be part of my problem. lol


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

I wasn't really referring to skill/experience.....more of intensity and overall sexual experience in general. It just seems to feel better/is more intense and more "bonding"

Sorry, hard to describe.

You kind of lost me on that graph.....


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## barbados (Aug 30, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Ok, yes I'm a math nerd. Yes, that may be part of my problem. lol


Now if you take the first derivative of your curve and set it = to 0, you will have the mathematical minimum of your married sex life ! LOL !

(hope I got that right, been a long time since Calculus for me)


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## mpgunner (Jul 15, 2014)

Totally agree DOF. We just went past 32 years! Man, that feels old. But my wife is hot and I can't get enough of her and I can tell she does not mind me chasing after her. 

The quality and quantity is so much better. Hard to point at specifics except I think I finally learned to to slow down and enjoy her (and please her hopefully more than once).

I'm not sure for you guys but in the early days the "O's" for each of us was not in sync. Now, without ever trying we usually have our O at the same time. We laugh about that.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

mpgunner said:


> Totally agree DOF. We just went past 32 years! Man, that feels old. But my wife is hot and I can't get enough of her and I can tell she does not mind me chasing after her.
> 
> The quality and quantity is so much better. Hard to point at specifics except I think I finally learned to to slow down and enjoy her (and please her hopefully more than once).
> 
> I'm not sure for you guys but in the early days the "O's" for each of us was not in sync. Now, without ever trying we usually have our O at the same time. We laugh about that.


:smthumbup:


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

mine started out super hot, then cooled, then some up and down, and now is picking up again, after 35 years. It would be hotter today, but age is taking its toll on the working bits.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Yes ours just keeps getting better, too.


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## Hacker (Jul 14, 2014)

At the start we did it all the time, kids came and we did it less. Now that the kids are older now, its like we are dating again.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

Yes, it's better now.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Ours has gotten better. Knowing each other better has made us more responsive to each other, we have bonded even closer so we feel even more connected, and there is also an increase in our skill level and repertoire to keep things interesting. We've slowed down a bit in terms of frequency, though - it's no longer twice a day every day.


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## mpgunner (Jul 15, 2014)

Hacker said:


> At the start we did it all the time, kids came and we did it less. Now that the kids are older now, its like we are dating again.


Goal: Get the kids out of the house...


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

mpgunner said:


> Goal: Get the kids out of the house...


They haven't held us back......at all.

We just have to be more quiet, when they move out....I feel bad for our neighbors......and their kids hehe


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## sgreenberg (Jul 9, 2013)

I'd agree it's better than ever for us, even if it's not perfect (or, apparently, as frequent as some here). It's about knowing the other person better, knowing yourself and your body better, the stability and trust within a marriage, etc.


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## Zatol Ugot? (Mar 5, 2012)

Agree that it has gotten better for us. After 25+ years of marriage, the frequency is not as high as I would like it and sometimes we can get stuck in a bit of a rut, but I would not trade the 21 year old sex for what I have now in a million years. There is a much deeper connection and fulfillment besides just getting the physical pleasure. The intensity can be pretty amazing.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

No.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Ok, yes I'm a math nerd. Yes, that may be part of my problem. lol


Aww, it doesn't sound bad...your bell curve graph shows that you and your sweetie are on the up and up :smthumbup:

Great job!


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

I really wanted to infuse some optimism/positivity into this forum with this thread, but clearly it's going to die soon.

:rofl:


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Fozzy said:


> No.


Very succinct and yet at the same time very elegant answer.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

Well I'm with you DoF. These slvtty ladies of TAM have had a bad influence on me. My H is SO upset...

:rofl:


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

committed4ever said:


> Well I'm with you DoF. These slvtty ladies of TAM have had a bad influence on me. My H is SO upset...
> 
> :rofl:


Sounds like a great influence.:smthumbup:


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## sexlessmarriage28 (Jul 16, 2014)

OP, so happy for you and your wife.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Yes, very much so, yes.

In the past few years we keep setting the bar higher and higher...

It's crazy.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

committed4ever said:


> Well I'm with you DoF. These slvtty ladies of TAM have had a bad influence on me. My H is SO upset...
> 
> :rofl:


I'm suprised what's-her-name hasn't shown up to call you out on the use of the "S" word!


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## lordfire00 (Jun 28, 2014)

The sex life between wife and i has decreased....i miss how it was before


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## MrVanilla (Apr 24, 2012)

DoF said:


> ...it just seems to get better and better.
> 
> ....Personally, I know this is really good and I love it, but just curious if others have experienced similar thing?


If I think back on every single time I ever had PIV sex, I can think of one time only that it was so-so. Because of this, I don't really understand the qualifier "better" when it comes to describing sex. My last experience was pretty much like the time before that one, which one a lot like the one before that, and so on and so forth. So, I guess my answers is a no, or maybe an N/A would be more appropriate?


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

committed4ever said:


> Well I'm with you DoF. These slvtty ladies of TAM have had a bad influence on me. My H is SO upset...
> 
> :rofl:


Nothing wrong with being a ****....for your husband. I recommend it!

:smthumbup:


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

MrVanilla said:


> If I think back on every single time I ever had PIV sex, I can think of one time only that it was so-so. Because of this, I don't really understand the qualifier "better" when it comes to describing sex. My last experience was pretty much like the time before that one, which one a lot like the one before that, and so on and so forth. So, I guess my answers is a no, or maybe an N/A would be more appropriate?


Sounds Vanilla

What I'm talking about is the difference between Vanilla and Vanilla Cookie Dough Ice Cream, with Chocolate chips ....


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## Gob Bluth (Jul 12, 2010)

I like your use of the word intensified: been married 19 years and it is much better and more intense. The amounts of times 2-3x week has stayed constant, but each time is more intimate and deep. She's comfortable enough now to have 1-2 O's per session and we try lots of new things.


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## MrVanilla (Apr 24, 2012)

DoF said:


> What I'm talking about is the difference between Vanilla and Vanilla Cookie Dough Ice Cream, with Chocolate chips ....


Sorry. I'll rephrase. 

During the 20 years with my present wife, I have not had a sexual experience that I feel could be accurately described with the use a superlative. 

Is that an appropriate answer to your question?

If I were to consider quality on a 100 point scale, I'd say 85 has always been the norm with a plus or minus 3 percent deviation.


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

Yes, we're both better now than when we first married. Less often, since neither of us had a job when we married, but definitely better quality.


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## mpgunner (Jul 15, 2014)

MrVanilla said:


> Sorry. I'll rephrase.
> 
> During the 20 years with my present wife, I have not had a sexual experience that I feel could be accurately described with the use a superlative.
> 
> ...


Vanilla, I too am having a hard time understanding this. 20 years the same? No trying new things and finding new ways that work? Also, the female body is a "treasure trove" of fun to learn.

My wife often says "That was the best" - she isn't saying that was great just like the last bunch of years. Sometimes she just has to keep laying there. That doesn't happen all the time but +25 points when it does.


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## MrVanilla (Apr 24, 2012)

mpgunner said:


> Vanilla, I too am having a hard time understanding this. 20 years the same? No trying new things and finding new ways that work? Also, the female body is a "treasure trove" of fun to learn.
> 
> My wife often says "That was the best" - she isn't saying that was great just like the last bunch of years. Sometimes she just has to keep laying there. That doesn't happen all the time but +25 points when it does.


This is easy: 

No one ever explained to me how to have sex. I had to figure it out on my own. Once I had figured it out, no one ever complained, nor did they ever ask for anything new or different, and... I was perfectly happy with the sex I was having.

Since: I was perfectly fine with the sex I was having, and since I had (almost) no idea at all that there was any other kind of sex things to be had... then: I never acquired a need for anything different. 

It really is this simple: If you're happy with what you have and it's the only thing you know... then there isn't any reason to change it - and - I never knew it could be changed. 

My wife has asked for new things recently. Apparently she was aware of other sex things and never asked me for them before. I am trying some of these other sex things now for her sake, but the only meaning these other sex things have to me... is that she wants them. 

In what way is that hard to understand?


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

Married but Happy said:


> I'm suprised what's-her-name hasn't shown up to call you out on the use of the "S" word!


If she's not a slvt in the bedroom then I wasn't talking about her, whoever she is.


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## ChargingCharlie (Nov 14, 2012)

Nope, not even close. Her latent asexuality has come out, so all I hear is how much work sex is, how she'd rather sleep than have sex, et al. Don't even bother initiating, as that will just lead to duty sex, and I might as well have sex with a blow up doll.


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## SunnyWife (Aug 6, 2014)

First time posting here. Yes, definitely, our sex life has improved over the years. Quantity has gone down but quality has improved greatly. Hubby & I have been together for 20 years now/married for 19. The first few years were pretty much almost every night but over the years its mellowed out to 2-3x/week on average now. We know each other better now, know what makes each other happy, and our sessions are often 1hr now where when we first got married it was all 'quickies'.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

DoF said:


> We are 18 years in/married for 14, and got together VERY young (16-17)....4 kids......and although initially our sex was off the charts and still is today.....I've noticed that thru the years, it has only gotten better?
> 
> Does this seem weird? Reading thru this forums and generally what I see in life with other people, it seems like sex life only gets worse for people etc.
> 
> ...


It's sooo refreshing to read a post like yours....and yes we are 22 yrs married, been together since we were 16....and yes, it gets better every year I am married to him...I adore him


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## ifweonly (Feb 27, 2014)

I just have to respond to DoF's question. Understand up front that we have been married over 52 1/2 years -- yes we are 73(me) & 71 (W) and like some of the responders, had no prior experience with others (wife was my first and only girl friend). 

I have posted before but I'll repeat here -- our sex is better today than 20 or even 30 years ago. Yep, 2 to 3 times a week and yes we have to make some adjustments for our maturity. I will admit that my urologist has performed surgery on me that has reset my performance to an earlier time but other than that, all the rest of our equipment is original.

I want to encourage all of you younger folk that all will not be lost as you mature -- enjoy the ride!!!


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

ifweonly said:


> I just have to respond to DoF's question. Understand up front that we have been married over 52 1/2 years -- yes we are 73(me) & 71 (W) and like some of the responders, had no prior experience with others (wife was my first and only girl friend).
> 
> I have posted before but I'll repeat here -- our sex is better today than 20 or even 30 years ago. Yep, 2 to 3 times a week and yes we have to make some adjustments for our maturity. I will admit that my urologist has performed surgery on me that has reset my performance to an earlier time but other than that, all the rest of our equipment is original.
> 
> I want to encourage all of you younger folk that all will not be lost as you mature -- enjoy the ride!!!


That's awesome and so great to hear.



:smthumbup:


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## BostonBruins32 (Nov 2, 2013)

Kudos to you. Its a two way street, you both understand the need and impact of sexual intimacy in a marriage. And more importantly, my guess is that you are able to really be the man/husband your wife wants you to be. Essentially fostering her attraction to you.

My sex life is in the crapper, but is a larger indication of a strained marriage. I have no clue what the stats say, but i would venture to guess more than half of marriages experienced a decrease in quality(literally quality or frequency) of sex life as time goes on.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

DoF said:


> We are 18 years in/married for 14, and got together VERY young (16-17)....4 kids......and although initially our sex was off the charts and still is today.....I've noticed that thru the years, it has only gotten better?
> 
> Does this seem weird? Reading thru this forums and generally what I see in life with other people, it seems like sex life only gets worse for people etc.
> 
> ...



You are not the only one. 

Our sex life after 20 years married and two kids has gotten 100 fold better. More connected. We express in detail our true feelings, desires, wishes, wants in life, marriage and future. Feelings and thoughts are never laughed at. Unless we laugh together about it. We are much more uninhabited when it comes to sex. We have great respect for each other and provide undivided attention always. Specifically when we have sex. 

So yes, our sex life has gotten much more deeper and uninhibited over the years. Much of our day it sexting that builds high anticipation. Physical touching when we can. Nothing like coping a feel at the super market...in every friggin isle!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Me & husband's situation is rather backwards ... we never had the jumping like bunny rabbits stage....as we waited till we married for intercourse, then he couldn't get it in ...(I had to visit the obgyn about this)...then found out I was pregnant....then he was worried about hurting the growing baby.. thrusting too hard..but we kept at it... 

Then after our 1st son...we couldn't conceive again.... this threw the biggest monkey wrench into our sex life -as it became more about his sperm over his pleasure for me..this lasted for 6 yrs... then we went on to have 5 more kids in the next 10 yrs.. So for us.. once we had our last son .. hit my 40's.. I went nuts for what I thought we missed....and we've had our greatest years in the last 5 yrs... Even if he was slowing down some.. 

If my husband put the effort and enthusiasm into trying to arouse ME more often back then.. he would have had a lot more sex though...(we were at least once or twice a week consistent)...I always loved sex, I never once had a headache ..though I did have books in my hand & put our babies in bed...(my regrets !)... he was never much of a flirter, or came on strong.. can I say he was a subtle man ..if he felt rebuffed in the smallest way, he would roll over.. very sensitive....

. Me, on the other hand, when I am feeling it...I will go out of my way to get what I want. I couldn't contain my lust, it had to be shared... he was loving this...and through this I realized.. "hot damn, I should have been THIS way our whole marriage".. as this really turns him ON... 

If I had to compare QUALITY...it was over the top THEN - probably cause we didn't do it as much , and when we got to it...we were both on FIRE physically.... lost in each other, I still think back to those intense feelings...it was explosive and very passionate...(even if on the vanilla side)...we didn't care!

But as far as how often - these years have been the more exploratory, places, positions, shaking it up ... I just look back and think..too bad I was so focused on kids, I let it steal our thunder in some ways... we did miss each other in ways that should have never been..

So it's been very exhilarating making up for lost time.


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## fr33yay0 (Aug 9, 2014)

yep! you are not alone... I am in the exact same boat. Don't get me wrong, it was amazing at first 19-20... but now we are both 30 and it's much hotter... I find the sex/oral now a days so much better.


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## Don-Juan (Sep 1, 2013)

:iagree:


WorkingOnMe said:


> I was 19 when I started dating my wife, and 21 when we married. So ya, we're both better at sex now 22 years later. Much better IMHO. I would say that the quality of our sex life looks kind of like an upside down bell curve.


:iagree: going on 29 yrs of marriage and I, much like you, am amazed that sex just seems to get better and better. 
Yes there was a lull for a few years (kids and all) but, just when I think it can't possibly get any better........it does. :smthumbup:


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