# Moving on



## Lonelywife82 (Jul 31, 2021)

Hi...now I'm not quite ready to give up my marriage although there appears to be absolutely no chemistry or interaction but is it normal to feel insecure in moving on amd getting naked with someone new? I've been with my hubby for 15 years now and things are not great. My life consists of work, my boys and housework. I have no social life...I'm aware that's not healthy...which is something I plan on changing.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

you are still married so getting naked with someone new is out of the question "normally" 
you hold the pen to your story 
it is only you that can tell your story 
what that story will be is up to you, 

think of what you would advise your son to do if he asked to for life advice and then take that advice for your self


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## Lonelywife82 (Jul 31, 2021)

frenchpaddy said:


> you are still married so getting naked with someone new is out of the question "normally"
> you hold the pen to your story
> it is only you that can tell your story
> what that story will be is up to you,
> ...


Yes I am still married but I meant life after divorce. I'd like to think my son would not end up in the same position as I find myself in but I would advise as it stands its not a healthy marriage


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Do you still love your husband?


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

there is no shame in having scares 
scares show that the war is over and you have had time to heal , 
you need to take time to heal before thinking of moving on to the next relationship


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## Lonelywife82 (Jul 31, 2021)

In Absentia said:


> Do you still love your husband?


Yes I do love him but I'm not sure if we're more like friends. He's slept on the couch for a few nights and then last night he slept in bed. It's a bit of a strange situation at the moment. We had sex which was well overdue but then still nothing this morning. He went out without a kiss which is something we always did.

I think he wanted me to grovel so to speak because I ended it but he doesn't see the bigger picture. I've told him I want to feel like a married woman and not single. He is definitely a lot more social than I am and visits people often to have brews and a natter but then when he's at home there's no help with house or kids, he spends most of the time on his phone watching DIY videos, on the phone to his mates or having a kip. We struggle striking up a conversation.

I suppose working full time, having children to look after and trying to keep on top of the house can be challenging at times but I manage and all I ask is attention from him and a bit of help around the house.

Sex life gone down the pan but that's both sides...we've just got to the 'can't be ar$ed' stage.

Sorry for the long response!


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

you are still in love and friends and sex , and you want a divorce


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## Lonelywife82 (Jul 31, 2021)

frenchpaddy said:


> you are still in love and friends and sex , and you want a divorce


We had sex last night granted but that was first time in a while. There's no communication or conversation and I'm at home doing everything as well as working and looking after kids. Would you consider that a normal marriage? It might be to some people but not to us. I want nothing more than for things to go back to how they were and I'm certainly not using the D word just yet but it takes two to save a marriage. I have to prepare myself for if its what he wants.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Does your husband love you? Have you asked him?


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

*


Lonelywife82 said:



.... I'm at home doing everything as well as working and looking after kids. Would you consider that a normal marriage?

Click to expand...

*It sure is for the plethora of SELFISH PRICKS out there who seem to think it's woman's job to bust her ass outside the house and bring home a paycheck, then come home and do 100% of the domestic chores inside the house while raising the kids on top of it. And all while the lazy, self-entitlted prick does nothing but sit around feeling completely self entitled to do so. 

Lucky, lucky you. I can see why you're so torn about losing this _*prize*_ you've got.

Why on earth you've STAYED this long is a mystery to me. The only one benefiting from this marriage is the selfish ass-hole you married.

I'd be SO done with him.


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## Lonelywife82 (Jul 31, 2021)

In Absentia said:


> Does your husband love you? Have you asked him?


Yes I have and he says he does but what someone says ans how they show it is a different story and so is loving someone and being in love with someone if that's makes sense


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## Lonelywife82 (Jul 31, 2021)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> It sure is for the plethora of SELFISH PRICKS out there who seem to think it's woman's job to bust her ass outside the house and bring home a paycheck, then come home and do 100% of the domestic chores inside the house while raising the kids on top of it. And all while the lazy, self-entitlted prick does nothing but sit around feeling completely self entitled to do so.
> 
> Lucky, lucky you. I can see why you're so torn about losing this _*prize*_ you've got.
> 
> ...


I suppose its the hope that's its not done with and that we can get past this...10 years of marriage, together 15 and 3 beautiful boys 😁


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Lonelywife82 said:


> Yes I have and he says he does but what someone says ans how they show it is a different story and so is loving someone and being in love with someone if that's makes sense


You might have to use the D word at this point, but be prepared to follow through.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

@Lonelywife82 Counselling as a couple, family and individuals? Would that help?


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## Lonelywife82 (Jul 31, 2021)

MattMatt said:


> @Lonelywife82 Counselling as a couple, family and individuals? Would that help?


I might suggest it but hubby isn't one to air his feelings so not sure if he would agree. No harm in mentioning it though thank you


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## moulinyx (May 30, 2019)

I think many wives find themselves in this situation. Staying together for the kids is an awful resolve - our lives matter as well.

I will always preface this with the fact that you are responsible for your own joy, but it’s certainly something that can be dampened by an incompatible mate. If you feel like your life would improve with more socializing then try that first. As individuals we are responsible for our emotional fulfillment and have to feel good on our own before we can be happy with someone else. I feel like it’s easy to throw all of our personal problems on our spouse but they would likely be there even if they were out of the picture. I am guilty of this as well but I like to throw that out there when someone is really considering divorce 

If your root problem is a lack of connection or something directly related to your marriage then the next steps are clear. You get one life and you also deserve fulfillment emotionally and physically.


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Hi OP,
I'm not sure I understand what your situation is.

Have you filed for divorce but are still having sex with your husband?



She'sStillGotIt said:


> It sure is for the plethora of SELFISH PRICKS out there who seem to think it's woman's job to bust her ass outside the house and bring home a paycheck, then come home and do 100% of the domestic chores inside the house while raising the kids on top of it. And all while the lazy, self-entitlted prick does nothing but sit around feeling completely self entitled to do so.
> 
> Lucky, lucky you. I can see why you're so torn about losing this _*prize*_ you've got.
> 
> ...


Unfortunately, this situation is all too common judging from my experience and some of the comments I've seen on this forum.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Lonelywife82 said:


> I suppose its the hope that's its not done with and that we can get past this...10 years of marriage, together 15 and 3 beautiful boys 😁


Have you had any MC?


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## Lonelywife82 (Jul 31, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> Have you had any MC?


I've asked hubby but he won't entertain it but I expected that because he doesn't like to air his problems


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