# Says too old for job change, fear of financial future...



## mentallydrained (Oct 7, 2010)

So, upon other issues that have distance us, me, I know have an issue of one saying the are "too old' to make a change or find a job! Umm, just turning early 50's.

So, the current job he's been in 25ish years. It's on the outs. Over last year has gone from 150 employees and 2 locations, to 1 location and now down to almost 10 in entire shop. The doors have to close for him to lose job since 2nd in senority.

He does some side work and 10yrs ago I tried to get him to do that full time. He was totally different person when doing just his self employed stuff at one time during his FMLA leave of watching our daughter. But, he was too afraid. Said it was nice to have secure job, go in do work and leave. His self employment is a job where business is kind of seasonal. Could have good month then be slow.

So, now that the economy is crap, the job is looking to be ending any time, a huge company that we know is hiring and has excellent benefits and decent wage (more than what he actually makes after 25 yrs) he states they won't hire he's too old! Even though we know someone who is only 5yrs younger that just got hired. Yes, he may have to pick 2nd or 3rd shift but the potentional for it being temporary is high.

So, finally got him to agree to resume and sent in prior to Thanksgiving. They sent email stating they got it, would get back to him after holiday as they would be out. They never did. I told him to contact them. He never did. He says they said they would contact me. We banter back and forth so I give up!

He states I use to support him in doing his own thing. Now I don't. Well, the economy 10yrs ago was like night and day compared to now. He will have no retirement, life insurance, (other than one we have now which won't pay off everything) and health benefits can go through my job but cost is double out of pocket for our portion and benefit plan a lot higher deductible. PLUS, anything could happen to me as easy as him.

Just because I'm 11yrs younger doesn't mean anything. I get in a car wreck or something who knows! IF that were to happen, he has nothing for him and our daughter, if he loses his job. 

He always says he's too old. I've had a few people say I act way older than I am as well. And I feel it. I feel 10+years old and I hate it. I don't want to be this way. Mom says to stay on him but I feel he needs to want to do it. Not because I push him. I don't want him taking a job in resentment of me and hating each day he wakes up. I want him to do this for him and our daughter for stability of future. He's NOT too old! 

Just another layer to my brick wall. Just venting sorry. Not sure what I'm looking for anymore.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

You can't make him want to change. I spent 6 years trying to get my husband to do the same thing. Now, when our finances are so bad we're close to bankruptcy, he STILL isn't doing anything.

All you can do is control yourself. If he gets laid off and still won't get work, kick him out. You'll have one less mouth to feed, and he'll learn he HAS to get off his duff and earn a living. Tell him he's welcome back home when he gets a job.

Half serious here, but I hope you see the point - all you can control is what YOU do.


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## sadmemories20 (Mar 10, 2011)

emotionalwreck said:


> So, upon other issues that have distance us, me, I know have an issue of one saying the are "too old' to make a change or find a job! Umm, just turning early 50's.
> 
> So, the current job he's been in 25ish years. It's on the outs. Over last year has gone from 150 employees and 2 locations, to 1 location and now down to almost 10 in entire shop. The doors have to close for him to lose job since 2nd in senority.
> 
> ...


Thank you so much for sharing.





__________________
watch online movies


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

Tell him to look around at job ads. Many are not hiring the unemployed.
Meaning, if you don't have a job, don't apply here. You've already been cut and we don't want you.


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## mentallydrained (Oct 7, 2010)

sadmemories20 said:


> Thank you so much for sharing.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## RECHTSANWALT (Oct 5, 2011)

MentallyDrained,
Many years ago, life was hard and my wife asked me to give up my job in line of work A. We relocated to another country, the job paid better and I worked in line B. The Wife, got fed up with the new country's weather (sultry) and wanted me to go to college. I struggled to find work relevant to my college degree. I am now in tuition debt, have too little experience for either line of work (A or B) commensurate with my age. The pay is too less to pay off the debt.

I have no solution to your problem. But I wanted to share my lesson: sometimes the solutions we seek to address problems are more painful than the problems themselves.


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## maccheese (Jul 25, 2011)

I agree, you can only control what YOU do. I think he does need to be put in a place of responsiblity and accountability. I do not think its right for a spouse that does not attempt to work to live off the hard working spouse. I would control my finances and what I do as much as possible. He would not have credit cards shared with me under my name, we would not have a joint auto loan, we wouldn't have a joint mortgage. Its not fair to have joint expenses and no joint income. As the working spouse, I would help provide the basics: food, housing, clothing, but my non working spouse would not be living in luxury, getting entertained, watching cable, playing video games, traveling, and any extras on my hardworking dime and they aren't at least trying. JMO



turnera said:


> You can't make him want to change. I spent 6 years trying to get my husband to do the same thing. Now, when our finances are so bad we're close to bankruptcy, he STILL isn't doing anything.
> 
> All you can do is control yourself. If he gets laid off and still won't get work, kick him out. You'll have one less mouth to feed, and he'll learn he HAS to get off his duff and earn a living. Tell him he's welcome back home when he gets a job.
> 
> Half serious here, but I hope you see the point - all you can control is what YOU do.


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