# Why Isn't There a Walk Away Husband Syndrome?



## WomanScorned (May 8, 2011)

Hi all. I feel pretty alone right now. I've been reading about Walk Away Wife Syndrome, but can't find any information on husbands doing it. But that's EXACTLY what mine did. Fed up but NEVER talked about it over the years, told me the marriage was history, and left. No warning. Even people who know us are shocked, "we thought of all people you two would be the couple that made it," I heard from one couple we were friends with. Is there anyone else out there that's had that happen with a husband? And a note to those of you who walk away: Please don't assume that the other partner even KNOWS something is that wrong and you are hurting that badly. You have to TALK about it and not let it build and build until it bursts. NOW I see the issues because he finally opened up and talked about them, but I've been given NO time or way to fix them.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

WomanScorned said:


> Hi all. I feel pretty alone right now. I've been reading about Walk Away Wife Syndrome, but can't find any information on husbands doing it. But that's EXACTLY what mine did. Fed up but NEVER talked about it over the years, told me the marriage was history, and left.


My understanding of waw is not this. Wife tries to express the problems over the years and feels unheard and gives up. Slightly different spin.



> No warning. Even people who know us are shocked, "we thought of all people you two would be the couple that made it," I heard from one couple we were friends with. Is there anyone else out there that's had that happen with a husband? And a note to those of you who walk away: Please don't assume that the other partner even KNOWS something is that wrong and you are hurting that badly. You have to TALK about it and not let it build and build until it bursts. NOW I see the issues because he finally opened up and talked about them, but I've been given NO time or way to fix them.


I have no experience but it seems to me that it is not uncommon for men to have a hard time with relationship talk. It might be useful to learn to gleen the mood / temperature from body language, tone and attitude. 

I am in no way assigning blame to you or anyone. It was just a thought.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

WomanScorned said:


> Is there anyone else out there that's had that happen with a husband?



Spend some time reading the threads on this board. You'd be surprised how many times and how often it happens. It's not unique, unfortunately.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Mom6547 said:


> My understanding of waw is not this. Wife tries to express the problems over the years and feels unheard and gives up. Slightly different spin.


I agree 110%. The WAW tells their H a million times there is a problem and wants to get help and the H isn't receptive and one day the WAW hits her threshold for patience and loses all hope and leaves.


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## steak (May 6, 2011)

The reason there's no walk away husband syndrome is *because men love their wifes more than their wifes love them*, thats also the reason why men never file for divorce.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

steak said:


> The reason there's no walk away husband syndrome is *because men love their wifes more than their wifes love them*, thats also the reason why men never file for divorce.


Hello, sexist comment! 

My husband filed for divorce. So your statement is wrong.


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## WhiteRabbit (May 11, 2011)

steak said:


> The reason there's no walk away husband syndrome is *because men love their wifes more than their wifes love them*, thats also the reason why men never file for divorce.


sweeping generalization you've made there...

my husband divorced his first wife. one day he just walked out.couldn't take it anymore from the story I've heard from him as well as from his ex.


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## steak (May 6, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Hello, sexist comment!
> 
> My husband filed for divorce. So your statement is wrong.


Ok, let me rephrase. Men never "initiate" the divorce, your husband might have filed for it but it was probably you who wanted to get divorced.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Wrong again.


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## WhiteRabbit (May 11, 2011)

wow:scratchhead:


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Steak's posts suggest he has a LOT of sweeping generalizations about women so I'm not surprised by his thinking:

_Most women don't want their man sexually and thats why they don't initiate. Period. 

That's because you are a woman, and women do not like to initiate affection... only recieve it. 

It seems like most women would rather not sleep in the same bed as their husband. So you are probably normal. 

Most women seem to rather want to be with a woman than with a man._

_The reason there's no walk away husband syndrome is because men love their wifes more than their wifes love them, thats also the reason why men never file for divorce. _

Oh and this one:

_I've never been in a relationship _


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

steak said:


> The reason there's no walk away husband syndrome is *because men love their wifes more than their wifes love them*, thats also the reason why men never file for divorce.


Bitter much? Take a look at that before you start your next relationship. The only thing worse than a failed relationship is one in which no learning was achieved. 

ps. I have an uncle in law who has been married seven times. To seven evil women. Hello dude. The least common denominator is YOU.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

I think that euphemistically, in the past, this was likely called a man having a "mid-life crisis".

Are you and your H divorced now, or are you trying to work through it? It sounds like there was a real lack of communication on his end, and that if you are both in to working it out, you could benefit from an objective third-party, like a marriage counselor, to help you work on the issues.


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> I agree 110%. The WAW tells their H a million times there is a problem and wants to get help and the H isn't receptive and one day the WAW hits her threshold for patience and loses all hope and leaves.



Not true in my case. She said she gave clues but never directly said there was a problem or sought to fix anything. She just decided to walk away. Our MC told her she can not assume I am a mind reader. She never wants to talk about the relationship, which is the biggest problem. Silence is the killer.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

Enchantment said:


> I think that euphemistically, in the past, this was likely called a man having a "mid-life crisis".


I agree with this.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

steak said:


> The reason there's no walk away husband syndrome is *because men love their wifes more than their wifes love them*, thats also the reason why men never file for divorce.


hey, steak - I'm a little concerned with the generalizations that you make in a lot of your posts. It makes me wonder where you came up with these ideas. Know that BOTH men and women have their issues. Yes, obviously men and women can see things differently, but I think it's better just to look at everyone as a person, not just a specific gender. Also know that you are on a forum where people come to vent and get help with their problems - you could get a skewed view of marriage if you don't keep this in mind.

Okay - back to regularly scheduling programming.....


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

This is me said:


> Not true in my case. She said she gave clues but never directly said there was a problem or sought to fix anything. She just decided to walk away. Our MC told her she can not assume I am a mind reader. She never wants to talk about the relationship, which is the biggest problem. Silence is the killer.


Then she wasn't a "WAW." She just left.


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

Technically, its called the Walk Away Spouse Syndrome, because husbands do walk away, although less frequently. I was almost in this category. Told her that I had enough. Years of trying to get her to seek counseling weren't working. The divorce threat made her change and commit to working on the issues.

Think about it. Some experts say that up to 6% of women suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder. Maybe its an exageration, but logic alone dictates that men are also occasionally put into unwinnable marriage relationships. My wife, however, is bipolar. Lots more men leaving than you would think.


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## credamdóchasgra (Sep 24, 2010)

steak said:


> Ok, let me rephrase. Men never "initiate" the divorce, your husband might have filed for it but it was probably you who wanted to get divorced.


Allow me to speak for my own husband, who I believe wouldn't leave me no matter how bad things get.
I, on the other hand, WILL leave if certain things don't change.

My husband has told me he'd be content for years with dynamics and issues that I'M not ok with.
What's "good enough" for him isn't "good enough" for me.
He'd stick around for years of disconnection and an explosive conflict cycle. I won't.
That doesn't indicate that he loves me more than I love him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Why Isn't There a Walk Away Husband Syndrome?


Because we call that criminal abandonment and take away all their stuff.


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## WomanScorned (May 8, 2011)

Ok, I was wrong about what it's called, and in his case I think it is a mid-life crisis (he'll be 40 in December). He won't go to a marriage counselor. He went one time, then decided it wasn't worth doing. We're drawing up divorce papers now.  And it was all HIS idea. Not mine.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Get a lawyer and protect yourself.


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

WomanScorned said:


> Ok, I was wrong about what it's called, and in his case I think it is a mid-life crisis (he'll be 40 in December). He won't go to a marriage counselor. He went one time, then decided it wasn't worth doing. We're drawing up divorce papers now. And it was all HIS idea. Not mine.


This is so sad. When the midlife crisis passes, he'll wake up to the sound of an empty apartment and wonder why he couldn't at least try.


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## WomanScorned (May 8, 2011)

Yes, I suppose I should get a lawyer. I really don't want to pay for it, and I live in a state where you can draw up your own divorce papers and terms, including custody, and have them notarized to become legal. I make more than he does and have more assets that were mine only legally (my mother left me a little money, but only in my name. I guess she knew it might not last). He truly loves his kids, so I think he'll be good to them. I don't want anything from him (that I can have now, anyway) and nothing material.


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