# Has anyone overcome a midlife crisis and depression together?



## webdings (Nov 14, 2009)

I have read many posts here that are exactly what Im going through and I hope that someone can give me some advice. 

About 2 yrs ago my husband retired and has since given up on life. He doesnt accomplish things around the house or take care of himself. I work 14 hr days when you consider commute time and when I get home he doesnt even speak to me. We havent had sex in 6 months and he says that he has no feelings for anything anymore, me the kids or life. He is already seeing a counselor and a psychiatrist but none of the medication seems to work. This weekend he said that the reason we dont have sex is because he is bored with me and suggested we get with a swapping group. It really made me feel cheap and unapreciated and unloved. He's told me many times to get a boyfriend. I have recently started bodybuilding and Im in the best shape of my life. We have been married for 10 yrs and Im starting to lose hope. 

I know that he is dealing with depression and a mid-life crisis but what can I do to survive this cycle? Is there hope on the other side that our marriage will make it? Has anyone made it through this together? I appreciate any advice. Thanks.


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## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

Medication can kill libido.

What's he on and for how long?

Is he cheating?


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## webdings (Nov 14, 2009)

He has been on so many pills in the last year, I have no idea what he's on this time. 

I dont believe he is cheating but he has been texting or at least getting texts from an ex. She even sends pictures...what makes her think its ok to do this when she knows that he tells me? She's crazy. 

Today was really hard for me. I took some vacation time to try and work on things and take some time for myself. Even when I compliment him he brushes it off like he doesnt care. Its not even the sex I miss so much as the companionship and hugs and snuggling. I feel like I am alone here. I told him this today as I was crying my eyes out and he expresses no emotion. I am really hurting here. I feel like I am trapped in this loveless relationship. I know that he has things going on with him but how much do I have to take? How long will this last?


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## lost1234 (Aug 24, 2009)

web,
this site is AWESOME for so many issues, ha helped me tremendously...

try this site...midlifeclub.com... it was suggested to me and it has been a God send!!!

my h is in mlc and severe depression.

i feel your pain...check that one out and READ READ READ until you feel like sharing...it is great!


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## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

Try to work with his doctor on the meds. My suspicion is that they are killing his emotions. They're not supposed to do that. 

From his point of view, it may feel better to feel nothing, but that's not the aim of antidepressants. They're supposed to make it easier to live life, not to kill off life.


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