# Anyone divorced in their 20s?



## kaleidoscope (May 23, 2013)

Hi everyone,

I'm in the process of divorce (hopefully in 2 months) and I'm in my mid 20s. I'm trying to focus on my life, my career goals, keeping healthy by going to gym, pursuing my hobbies, etc. My support system is great.

I'm wondering when would be an appropriate time to date again. I've never been a party girl and my friends has been inviting me to bars. 

Anyone that has experience and would like to share?


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

You're going to be fine. A whole lot wiser. 

Remember your life is what you make it.

I'm thankful that if this had to happen it was now rather than later with kids, etc.

Consider yourself extremely lucky even though it doesn't look like it now.


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## kaleidoscope (May 23, 2013)

Marc878 said:


> You're going to be fine. A whole lot wiser.
> 
> Remember your life is what you make it.
> 
> ...


Thanks Marc. Yes, I am thinking very positively now. Sometimes, there's this empty void that I feel but other thoughts will quickly fill up that void. As you said, I'm very lucky since I don't have any kids to worry about yet. I'll try to make it the best life for me as much as possible.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

How'd the CPA exams go? That's a big leg up if you can get past it. Worth at least $10,000 more on the year


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

A good and dear friend of mine got married early 20 divorced late 20s as they were not compatible and the guy was a control freak.
She did well in her career and met the love of her life in her 40s and is now happily married to a great guy. She chose to wait and put her career first to become a very successful businesswoman.

The world is your oyster, you do what you feel comfortable with, your whole life is ahead of you.


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## kaleidoscope (May 23, 2013)

Marc878 said:


> How'd the CPA exams go? That's a big leg up if you can get past it. Worth at least $10,000 more on the year


I'm going to take the Audit section after the 1st week of January. Hopefully I will pass so I can move on to the next section! Im planning to complete it all by end of 2016. Wish me luck!


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## kaleidoscope (May 23, 2013)

aine said:


> A good and dear friend of mine got married early 20 divorced late 20s as they were not compatible and the guy was a control freak.
> She did well in her career and met the love of her life in her 40s and is now happily married to a great guy. She chose to wait and put her career first to become a very successful businesswoman.
> 
> The world is your oyster, you do what you feel comfortable with, your whole life is ahead of you.


Hi Aine, thank you for your post. Yes, I'll try to figure out this world gradually and will also focus on my career first!


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

kaleidoscope said:


> Hi Aine, thank you for your post. Yes, I'll try to figure out this world gradually and will also focus on my career first!


Coincidentally both my friend and are are chartered accountants by profession! :grin2: Accountants rock! :grin2:


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Good luck!!!!!!!


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## pragmaster (May 7, 2014)

kaleidoscope said:


> Hi everyone,
> 
> I'm in the process of divorce (hopefully in 2 months) and I'm in my mid 20s. I'm trying to focus on my life, my career goals, keeping healthy by going to gym, pursuing my hobbies, etc. My support system is great.
> 
> ...


Me. I got married at 22, divorced at 26. I am a male. Divorce sucks major. What hurt me the most wasn't the divorce. It was two things. The first was that all of my friends and family saw it coming and it hurt me that they didn't believe in me. The second thing that hurt was that the ex-wife didn't just leave, she quit her job and left the province. I felt like she died. I love her so much and miss her so much to this very day and the fact that she just up and left like that ,especially since I was never violent or aggressive, just hurt so much. 


1) We only know what we know in the moment. For me, getting married felt right at the time and I don't regret it, although now I do see we were way too young. 

2) The relationship we have with ourselves is a key factor in how relationships with others will play out. Very important. 

3) Follow your true will and purpose in life.

4) It truly does take two to tango. Love is not luck. Life is not a fairy tale. Relationships take work, honesty and transparent communication at all times. There are seldom happy endings. Most people our age have a ridiculous sense of entitlement, but they are naive fools. 

5) Always make friends before lovers. 

6) Remember the wheel of emotions and grieving. It shall all pass.


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## kaleidoscope (May 23, 2013)

intheory said:


> Keep focusing on the career, the gym and hobbies.
> 
> Congrats. on the support system. Be there for those people should they ever need you to do the same for them. (I'm sure you already know that)
> 
> ...


Thanks intheory,

I am curious on why we should not get into the bar scene. I've never been a party girl before and my friends has been inviting me to go with them. Would you explain more about that?


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

I would tell you that I never met someone I wanted to be serious about in a bar.

It may be different for others.

Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

I found out my 8 year marriage was over 2 months before turning 30. Does that count? 

I'm almost 35 and miles wiser. You'll be just fine. Take time to really become self aware. Learn your personal boundaries and live by them. Listen to others but drive your own existence. Own your decisions. Know that the road to life is lined with potholes you sometimes can't avoid, but you CAN learn the best ways to climb out so you can keep going. 

My 30th birthday was the saddest time (so far) in my life, but I'm greatful for all that I've learned since.


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## huebnem (May 8, 2013)

For the love of all that is holy stay away from bars. Speaking as a male here I can tell you that you will only pick up trouble there. I tend to stay at the bar and listen and the stuff I see and hear makes me want to puke. Bars are fun but they have their limits...it doesn't help when your friends are pushing you either. 


Do FUN stuff...like stuff you want to do. I hasn't worked for me but I know other people that have had great relationships develop because they met someone kayaking, biking, and one was trap shooting when he met his wife. Just be who you want to be and move on and something will happen.


I gave up for the moment but that is only because I am in Korea...so it is either juicy girls or military girls...NO to both of those.


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## tanisha6667 (Nov 27, 2015)

I am 23 and just started the separation process, next comes the actual divorce proceedings. I would honestly say to go out and have fun but don't go out for the main purpose of finding someone. I just went out with my best girl friend last night and we both had a few drinks at the bar, came back to my apartment and then just talked about my separation while drinking a few drinks. You can have fun and escape from what's going on without partying too hard. 

And as for dating again, that is an individual thing I believe. I know that I won't start dating again for at least half a year or a year. I am so crushed by what my husband (soon to be ex-husband) has done to me that trusting men in general will be tough. 

good luck!


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