# He is done, I refuse to let it go...



## BleedingHart (May 26, 2015)

Yesterday was our 7th wedding anniversary and my husband picked that day to tell me he is done with our marriage. We have three beautiful children (one who is 6 and twins that are 5) and I truly thought we were so incredibly happy and in love. He says he has putting on a front for a while. He thinks I have been unfaithful since we met 9 years ago, I have not once been. He thinks I'm a liar, I don't keep things from him. He will not entertain the idea that he might be wrong. In his words "I know it's true and you continue to lie to my face!" I am so incredibly hurt and don't know what to do. I would do absolutely anything for him and for our marriage and family. He will not go to counseling, though I may go myself. Is there a way to make him work this out with me? Could something else be going on and this is a good way for him to get out? I feel I can't live without him, I don't want to live without him. Help!


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## Abc123wife (Sep 18, 2013)

Oh, how terrible! It seems to me that he is looking for any excuse to cut and run. I hate to say but it is highly likely that he is the one cheating and his accusations of you are just a reflection of his guilt. You need to start doing some investigating. You may find out he has a love interest in the works. So sorry!


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## EnigmaGirl (Feb 7, 2015)

When did he start accusing you of cheating and what evidence is he using?

I agree with the above poster that there is a strong chance that he wants to leave you for other reasons but doesn't want to admit his own culpability so he's making excuses to leave you.

At the end of the day, you can't force someone to stay married. I'd work on getting yourself prepared for divorce...hopefully you are financially independent so you can take care of the legal retainer and the kids in the event it takes a while to get a child support order in place.


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

If someone is done, is done. you will only extend your own misery. and he does not sound like a wonderful guy, worTH fighting for. Accept your reality, keep your pride, stop begging.

LET HIM GO. You will be better off.


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

What the other posts said and this:

It doesn't have to mean that he is sleeping with someone else. He may be...or it may be something else. In my case, it was a drug addiction.

Start paying attention. You might find out that you DO want to let it go.


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## BleedingHart (May 26, 2015)

He thinks I have been cheating since we started dating 9 years ago. I asked him why he thinks that and he won't give me a legitimate reason. Someone told him I am a shady person but won't say who said that. He's instincts make him think so. I asked him if this is his way out, accusing me. Asked if he's seeing someone else or wants to. He said no. I just don't understand. I am not financially stable and as of right now would not be able to support myself and the kids


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

He will have to support your kids. And if he made his mind, your begging and humiliating yourself won't change it. Go to lawyer, and see your options. if you cannot support your kids, this is what you have to focus now - making all rational decision and figuring out the way best for kids. Take a deep breath, stop panicking, and accept the reality. And once you accept it, you can start dealing with it.


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

BleedingHart said:


> He thinks I have been cheating since we started dating 9 years ago. I asked him why he thinks that and he won't give me a legitimate reason. Someone told him I am a shady person but won't say who said that. He's instincts make him think so. I asked him if this is his way out, accusing me. Asked if he's seeing someone else or wants to. He said no. I just don't understand. I am not financially stable and as of right now would not be able to support myself and the kids


Maybe hes accusing you so he can feel better about himself?. Hes blame pushing. He feels guilty about something. Hes not willing to give you answers i feel you deserve:frown2:


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

>>>He will have to support your kids

Yes but that could take forever. Doesn't help her right now. My kids are 26 & 22. I get $19.30/month for the 5-digit figure he owes me now after kids are grown and gone. I have 2 grandchildren now. I doubt seriously if she can afford a lawyer at this point plus first and last months rent. 

OP...SOMETHING IS GOING ON. Find out what it is, Gather some proof and then find an attorney that will take you pro-bono. Or perhaps legal aid in your area. Google it. 

If you know in your heart that you've been true & giving him no reason to think other, something's up. Find out what it is. Then cover your a$$.

Edited: I should have said 6-digit figure. Owes his OTHER X more than me!!


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

BleedingHart said:


> He thinks I have been cheating since we started dating 9 years ago. I asked him why he thinks that and he won't give me a legitimate reason. Someone told him I am a shady person but won't say who said that. He's instincts make him think so. I asked him if this is his way out, accusing me. Asked if he's seeing someone else or wants to. He said no. I just don't understand. I am not financially stable and as of right now would not be able to support myself and the kids


How long has he been accusing you of cheating? I was the recipient of the "lying and deceiving our entire marriage" speech once myself. She was cheating at this point and starting to re-write history to justify her actions. 

He is most likely taking in great generalities. He has nothing specific so he can grasp onto all sorts of vague things and twist them around. 

If he wants a divorce you will not be able to stop him. Has he just threatened with divorce or has he seen a lawyer?


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## BleedingHart (May 26, 2015)

He's only threatened with the divorce but told me it will be happening


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

He will not attend MC because he does not wish to face the truth

That is very telling..... 

I hope, if he does move out, he provides accordingly

being the kids and you are a SAHM 

A friend where I live contacted the health department

and they set her up with a great lawyer. But I'm from a small town


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