# how to see the light???



## lost1234 (Aug 24, 2009)

spoke with h and had a great day yesterday (previous post...i have been a wreck)...
also in previous posts he has been diagnosed as having very low testosterone levels( dr. of course 1st dx him with depression), dr also described andropause, mid life crisis and the such. was prescribed androgel. ok.
heres the problem...as his wife who has been here all along i am able to see what he either cant or wont and its making me feel crazy as i cant sit here and TELL him whats wrong, he needs to do that for himself.
i have looked back to when things started to change, we moved 500 miles from home 06, his dad took a heart attack in may 07...trigger? moved back feb 08, i took a tia mini stoke aug o8...these have all affected him profoundly and i can literally sit back and list when his behaviors and actions started to change and how... maybe i read too much into this but it fits our situation perfectly.
when hes says he misses THIS ,but has to figure some things out about himself...isnt this classic mid life crisis? he repeatedly says it isnt even though the doc has said the opposite, i sit with a closed mouth as i dont want to rock the boat. what could i possibly do to help he to see it...or do i just continue to support and listen???


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## knortoh (Sep 5, 2009)

support and listen
support and listen 
support and listen -

but at the same time look after yourself

you know what is going on - does it really matter if he can't admit it /see it yet?

remember he is probably confused with the depression...

he may not 'see' it until he is able to look back sometime -


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

knortoh is right on....I totall agree.

When you are in the middle of a storm you don't always see the clouds. This is why he doesn't "get it." You can't make him "get it" either. If you try you are wasting time and energy. You've already tried right? 

However you look at it...mid life/depression/bipolar/low testosterone the results are the same....there is nothing that YOU can do at this point. I've come to this conclusion and I know many of us have....including knortoh. Take her advice..it's the truth.


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