# Husband is a bully and a cheat



## Mademoiselle2012 (Sep 21, 2012)

I met my husband April last year, he was on a holiday, went back home and we kept incontact. Just as friends. September last year I found out I was pregnant...I had to love my work because I was working on a cruiseship and I got too sick..I told him this..and he said he won't hold it against me during the marriage..cos he wasn't the father. I broke up with the father. Now he was very nice to me and did everything to make me see he was inlove despite the fact I w carrying someone else's child. He said he will raise he as his own, he had a 12 year old and he's a great fathe to him. By the way I'm From South Africa and he's Canadian. So between now and begining of the year he travelled 3 times to South Africa to see me, in February we got married because I thought he was a born again Christian, in may I gave birth he was there by my side..left Canada to be with me and said he was coming to take us home, that being Canada,matter 1 month he tells me he wants divorce, he said we made a big mistake, I later found out he's seeing someone, wasn't sure but it was hs ex fiancé..they were engaged last year, he did t tell me about it. I found out they broke off the engagement around the time he started perusing me. First he said I must go back to South Africa , I left home cos he was bullying me. I told the mother of the 12 yr old son why I left. He called her and she said she was going to call a lawyer to take away his custody agreement bcos she won't have her son being subjected to his father messing up again. This is his 3rd marriage, I was foolish not to wait, but I got so overwhelmed. Everything he was doing for me and my baby I thought wow, but I was stupid, will never make that mistake again.

My problem is the on going verbal abuse, I've been called a gold digger, free loader. All of that, cos I won't live the country..the reason he wants me to live is bcos. He doesn't want to be responsible for us after the marriage, eve tho I left my job and sold all my staff to be with him, and after a moth I arrived in this country he tells me I must go back. He even asked for an annulment..I said no, yesterday we had a massive fight, he said I will end up with nothing, or I go back, he serves me with divorce papers. Ive been waiting for my work permit soi can start working again..my daughter is 4 months now...I called a lawyer and he said I mustn't go anywhere otherwise it's easy for him to live me with nothing...he's responsible for my daughter and me till I get work again. He made me cut off the real father, so he can turn around and do this?


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

Well it's your own mistake that you married a man without knowing much about his past. You are his 3rd wife?! Why would you marry him?

In any case, you got a free permanent residency of Canada out of it. Since you've only been married for a year and have no children together, there's not much you're going to be able to get from him. He can get a good lawyer and get you deported if the judge suspects that you used him to migrate to Canada.

I'd just walk away. If you like Canada, stay. If you don't, go back to SA.


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

I disagree with the above post and am sorry you are going through this.

You are being abused and this man has treated you badly. 

Hopefully you can get a job soon and move away from him with your daughter.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

*LittleDeer* said:


> I disagree with the above post and am sorry you are going through this.
> 
> You are being abused and this man has treated you badly.
> 
> ...


There's no question that she's being abused and treated badly. She has to divorce him. I thought that was established.

She's asking if she'll be able to get money from him and I'm saying it's highly doubtful and risky.

In Canada, spouses that divorce a short time after arriving in Canada as immigrants are subject to investigation by the Canadian Immigration who have become very strict. I don't think she should risk her residency just because her lawyer is hoping to make a buck off her abusive husband.

They've only been married a year. Unless the guy owns a paid-off house and lots of liquid money, there's little she can get from him in terms of alimony.


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