# To tired for sex? Again!



## blackbarbie (Jan 27, 2015)

IM IN A SAME SEX MARRIAGE AND MY WIFE IS 8 YEARS OLDER THAN ME. WE BARELY HAVE SEX SHE IS ALWAYS TIRED. ITS MAKING ME LOSE INTEREST AND THE CONNECTION TO HER. I WANT MY MARRIAGE TO WORK BUT ITS TO THE POINT WHERE I JUST FEEL ITS AN EXCUSE... HOW DO I GET THE SPARK BACK??


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## DayOne (Sep 19, 2014)

More importantly, how do you find your caps lock button?!


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

Stop yelling at her, for one.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Have you told her how you feel? if so, start there.

Marriage counselling to.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

How old are both of you? How long have you been married? Do you still "date" each other?

C


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening blackbarbie
Has she always had a lower sex drive or is this new? If its always been like this, you may be one of the many unfortunate people in a LD/HD (low desire / high desire) relationship. There are many threads here on this - it is a major issue for a lot of couples .


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Google Lesbian Bed Death. Here are two to get your started.


https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/ask-dr-darcy/201104/lesbian-bed-death-cpr

The Art of Sexual Intimacy - Curve Magazine - Web Articles 2013 - USA


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## batsociety (Jan 23, 2015)

If this came on fairly suddenly, there could be a much bigger issue here than her just being tired. Talk to her, make sure she's doing okay. And then talk to her some more about how you feel when she keeps pushing you away. She might not even realize that she's doing it so often or that it's taking this toll on you (although she should). Talking really can be a magical thing.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

intheory said:


> Any chance she's seeing anyone else? Sorry to have to bring that up.
> 
> The standard advice on this site when one spouse begins to withhold sex; is to begin checking their phone, computer, Facebook page (secretly), to see who they are connecting with; phone numbers you don't recognize that they call a lot.
> 
> ...


No offense intheory but the standard advice for a dwindling sex life here at TAM is utter crap! Going on a spying spree to check for cheating instead of focusing on the relationship and how to fix it is like booking an appointment for chemo when you have a sore throat.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Why is she so tired? Does she have too much on her plate? 

How is your relationship outside of sex? Are there layers of resentment (like, maybe she thinks you aren't doing your fair share at home, thus leaving her to do more, thus leaving her tired and resentful if this continues over years)? 

Is there any romance in your relationship? Do you still talk and laugh together? Or have you drifted into not make much effort to engage each other emotionally and intellectually?


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## MachoMcCoy (Oct 20, 2014)

No one is ever too tired for sex. You either want it or you don't. She doesn't.

I was going towards "she doesn't love you any more" until I read your other post. Family drama on top of it and she's taking her families side. Not good.

Welcome, gays, to the wonderful world of marriage. Be careful what you wish for...


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