# Mixed signals ....



## cubsfn (Sep 23, 2010)

So ... I could be just thinking about things too much ... 

I will get to the point .. in the past when I have tried waking up the wife for sex, I haven't exactly gotten the most positive responses (You woke me up for that?).

We have been talking about the possibility of having another kid. Our current daughter (who is 4) usually goes to bed with my wife first and falls asleep (and I then bring her to her room) they usually go to bed at around 8. Well last night they ended up going to be pretty late, being a work night I had mentioned to her that I'd not bother and wake her up. (Being the nice considerate guy I am). She just smiled at me and said I was funny, I had asked her why? Her response, "You don't need to tell me, just surprise me and do it, you don't need to say anything".

I am the type of person that if I get turned down more than once, why bother trying again? Especially when the response is pretty negative. 

I have been told that she doesn't feel that I am interested since I never really say or do anything. Yet when I do, the opposite effect happens .. she gets in her head that I want to that night and if it so happens to not happen, she gets stressed out that I will get upset. So that in turn turns her off to begin with.

Maybe my approach is all wrong?!


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## lime (Jul 3, 2010)

She's probably giving you mixed signals because she has mixed feelings  You can take charge and actively initiate rather than "asking."

Things you can do to improve the situation...
1. Start encouraging your daughter to sleep in her own bed. Make sure to have a good bedtime routine so she gets comfortable with it. Having a child in the bed brings all those mommy-oriented emotions into the bedroom as well, and that can be unhealthy for your sex life.
2. Find some time during the day to have sex so you're not always waking your wife up. If she goes to sleep at 8, she probably wakes up pretty early--maybe the morning would be a good time.
3. How are you waking her up? If you're shoving her or shaking her by the shoulder saying, "WAKE UP let's have sex," she's not going to want to haha. Try waking her up slowly with a massage or kissing her gently.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

I can't imagine any woman is ready for sex when woken up from sleep, unless she just goes through the motions (read that "lies there") in order to get pregnant.

If you set a more predictable routine for your daughter, you can plan better with your wife.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Why is she going to bed at 8?

I can see putting the kid down at 8, but why is she also going to bed to sleep for the night?


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## lovelieswithin (Apr 29, 2010)

Sex is so awkward sometimes! Even when you're married! =) But it doesn't have to be... maybe talk it out & try to get on the same page! do you know when she prefers sex? can you find a way to respect one another when you're not on the same mood? my husband & I usually do it in a loving but joking way - ill usually say "sorry sir the candy shop is closed" LOL! sounds corny but its a playful cute way we communicate. We usually end up curling up to a movie if we don't end up getting it on so at least we can show affection for the partner who was the prospective "customer" for the evening... =D LOL try injecting more laughter & affection to help ease sexual tension. Honestly life would be dull if you always got wat you wanted at every single moment. Holding back helps add to the experience when it does go down! =)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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