# When is divorce a necessity?



## ConcernedinMO (Aug 13, 2012)

What would it take for you to leave your spouse?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Bellavista (May 29, 2012)

If I found out he was lying & still in contact with the other women 

Child porn

Another PA

Drug dealing

Violent behaviour


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## Racer (Sep 24, 2009)

When spending the rest of my life with her seems like a bad and unsavory use of my life.


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

If their behavior is sucking the life out of my soul... then I owe it to myself to leave and be the full person I am.

In other words... should have happened already.
But most people don't leave until they fall out of love. 
Nothing wrong with that. And each person's answer is different, sometimes. 
"when your heart no longer holds you there" 
Beyond that, you are just using the other person.


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## CanadianGuy (Jun 17, 2012)

A Lamborghini Aventador, a full tank of gas, and a date with the other side of life that I've been seeing and starting to believe in.


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## Writer (Aug 3, 2012)

For myself, I have a few dealbreakers.


He knows that if I find him contacting any other women again, it will be over. I believe in second chances. However, I don't believe in third or fourths. 
If he is verbally, emotionally, mentally, or physically abusive, that would be my cue to walk as well. I will not be anyone's proverbial or physical punching bag. And, abuse always escalates (as I said in another thread today).
If he harms our daughter. Just as I won't put up with him harming me, the same goes for my children. My daughter is precious, and she doesn't need to live like that.
Also, on a less severe note than those above, if our problems weren't workable. Marriage is hard work, but, at some point, one simply has to call it a day if all a person does is argues, is resistant, and MC doesn't help.


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## Oregondaddy (Feb 10, 2012)

When it gets to the point, for whatever reason you simply do not love your spouse any longer.


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## Clark G (Sep 5, 2012)

Hi all,

First post and looking forward to participating in this forum.

I am divorced. When is it a necessity? When and only when someone breaks your rules or you break theirs.

Our marriage could've been saved in my opinion. The one rule I've always had was cheating - that in my mind is taboo and one that I feel strongly about (not the reason we divorced).

However, serious issues such as control, abuse, cheating, etc. can destroy a marriage quickly but they can also be corrected if action is taken.

What created our and other divorces of friends I went through it with was very simple reasons that were actually sad - boredom, just friends, no communication, and stuff like that built up over years of neglect.

It's never a necessity unless you are in such danger that you have to get out before something bad happens.

Great questions.

Joe


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## bahbahsheep (Sep 6, 2012)

I don't really know.

for me, I expect my marriage to last FOREVER...

because marriage is not just about feelings - it is about committment and strength in character


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## bahbahsheep (Sep 6, 2012)

danielbilberry said:


> Following some point for necessity divorce
> 1)Marital Financial issues
> 2)Sexual incompatibility
> 3)Boredom in marriage
> ...


I heard that majority of divorces are because of financial strains.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Divorce is a necessity when there is adultery.


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## Shiksa (Mar 2, 2012)

For me its the AAA: Adultery, Addiction, Abuse. These can come in all forms, and none are ok with me.


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## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

After my youngest graduates from HS.


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## Dreald (Aug 30, 2012)

For me it was when my STBX called the cops and lied about my physically assaulting her (she was hitting me so I threw water on her and provoking me so I WOULD hit her so "others can see what you're doing to me on the outside, what you're doing to me on the inside") and then lied that she was in fear of her life because I had guns and had threatened her (another lie). I took all my premarital assets out and left the $5k in our joint checking account to pay for outstanding bills, etc. She then removed it all even though I should have rec'd half after our last bill was paid.


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## underwater2010 (Jun 27, 2012)

For my husband to cheat again or contact his FMOW.

If we had not had kids, I would have left already.


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## ayce (Sep 27, 2012)

ConcernedinMO said:


> What would it take for you to leave your spouse?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Emotional abuse 

Threats to leave 

Threats to cheat on me

No sex in months

Not physically attracted any longer

Resentment

Everything they do makes you squirm

Threats to leave if you don't have kids when they want them

When a personal goal surpasses the need/love/attention for your spouse.

Not wanting to spend time on the weekends rather be with someone else.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

If he abused me or cheated on me or if we fell out of love.

Love makes the world go round.


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## SCondeck (Oct 5, 2012)

Wow, seems like there are tons of reasons to leave your marriage. My favorite: "Boredom in marriage." Is there no sanctity anymore? Do our vows mean nothing? I would say Adultery, Abandonment or Abuse, ONLY. 

Although my stbxw might say feelings, lack of emotional connectedness, boredom, greener grass, itch needs scratching, etc. Who knows.


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## Trying2figureitout (Feb 3, 2011)

Spouse broke vow(s) and refuses to stop breaking them. One day you just say... enough.


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