# Can't wait for my freedom date



## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

I think the pressure is finally getting to my ex, this morning she called me at work (before the store opened) and yelled at me about a miscommunication with my son's boy scouts events. She then proceeded to say how she does everything for the kids, when was the last time I wrote out a check for their school lunch, signed a field trip permission form, that I need to step up and be a dad.

WHen she said that I completely lost it. I told her Don't ever bleeping say I'm not being a dad to those kids. I told her she asked for this life, not me. She was the one that quit on the marriage, not me. That I would still be there to help out with all the stuff.

She then started to play the victim card that she has a whole house to run, she makes the kids lunches, what do I do on my days off before I get the kids. That I could step up more as a dad.

I then emailed her to tell her that unless it's an emergency for the kids, to not call me anymore. She can communicate with me via text or email. 

I think the stress of everything is finally getting to her. I told her that she can say I wasn't an attentive husband (which I was), or this and that....but don't ever question my resolve about being a father.

Sorry...had to vent.


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## Married in VA (Jan 6, 2012)

Nothing to be sorry about. I get the same thing. The "Oh I'm so stressed out" speech. I also get to hear about how wrong I was when I called the police after findout out my STBXW allowed one of her many "boyfriends" to give my daughter marijuanna. Of course I know what comes out of her mouth is utter BS. I get the "you ruined my life" speech as well. Like you, my STBXW is a walk away wife. She thought she was going to continue what she was doing and I would just be paying for it all because I make much more money than she does. To date she gets 0$ as I have the kids and she doesn't get spousal support because she cheated. Thankfully VA is not a no fault state.


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

Daddy! You are sounding great!!! Hold your ground. 
You have less than a month.

YOU KNOW you are a good dad, we have talked about that for months. She is lucky to have picked such a wonderful man to have children with, don't let her get to you. xxoo


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

I think limiting communication to text/email is a GREAT idea at this point. No need to have your day ruined because she woke up in a snit!


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## Married in VA (Jan 6, 2012)

I agree with lamaga. I can't wait until I reach the point where the only communications are about the kids and that is it. Keep on keepin on!


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)




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## InTheBedIMade (May 20, 2012)

questioning my parenthood is one of my buttons, too. The women that we share everything with of course know this. It's expected. it happens. it will keep happening when they want to share hurt, married or divorced.

I'm expecting it, I'm trying to prepare for it, but I have a difficult time believing that it will roll off of my back when it happens. 

I think you have re-enforced the fact that this is the easy button to pissing you off. You did the right thing by telling her not contact you, but prepare for it to happen again.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

I really never thought I would get to this day, but I'm very excited to be divorced from her. Everyone said it would just take time, and they were right. For those of you just starting this process, it does get easier.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

She screwed the pooch and she knows it Proud.

You are the only one she has to vent her anger towards. Everybody knows she's the one who sunk her own ship: her parents, her siblings, her friends..... no one feels sorry for her, so the only person she has left to vent to is you.

Good for you for standing your ground and not taking her sh*t. Keep that attitude!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Boo-effin-hoo to her.

wah wah wah...she asked for this life. Buck up, Princess.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

Bandit,
Without all of your support here at TAM, I wouldn't be where I am today. I might have found the perfect place for my friend and I to live, keep your fingers crossed. Next month marks the beginning of my new life, I can't wait!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Your friend and you?

Already someone else?

 No no no


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

No, Proud's guy buddy....


:rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

Thatgirl,
Nope, my best friend is also going through a divorce, he has two kids as well. We found a three bedroom duplex, equal distance to where we work, 1600 square feet, washer dryer included, big yard, I'm excited. I hope it works.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

Well done proud.

Keep detaching yourself from her.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

I can't wait for that day, however many months or years down the road, when Proud's ex comes around, all depressed and bloated with the weight she re-gained, having burned all her bridges, used and abused, and says to him, "Breaking up with you is the biggest regret of my life. You were my rock, my best friend... blah, blah,blah, BLAH"... 

....vomit...

Proud will look at her with a mixture of pity and revulsion and say "Too bad, so sad".... and walk away to go get ready for a date with his smoking hot younger girlfriend.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Why does she have to be a younger girlfriend? 

Plenty of AWESOME women at or older than PiW. Younger isn't always better. Seriously. Most older men can get a younger woman. it's nothing special. You got money and halfway decent? Many younger women would jump at that for a while.


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## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

that_girl said:


> Why does she have to be a younger girlfriend?
> 
> Plenty of AWESOME women at or older than PiW. Younger isn't always better. Seriously. Most older men can get a younger woman. it's nothing special. You got money and halfway decent? Many younger women would jump at that for a while.


I'll take emotionaly mature, preferably +/-5 years than myself. Physical attraction is important, but the chemistry is crucial. When looks fade, the chemistry & connection is what truly keeps a relationship alive.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

I wish you the best Proud! You sound like you are on a good path.


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## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

Same, Proud... you've come a long way.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

Thatgirl.....you have a sister, because you are just my type 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## [email protected] (Dec 18, 2011)

canguy66 said:


> I'll take emotionaly mature, preferably +/-5 years than myself. Physical attraction is important, but the chemistry is crucial. When looks fade, the chemistry & connection is what truly keeps a relationship alive.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


ABSA-FREAKIN-LUTELY! xx
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## [email protected] (Dec 18, 2011)

Keep pushing forward Proud x you are in the home straight xx
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

proudwidaddy said:


> Thatgirl.....you have a sister, because you are just my type
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I do! But she's a scientist and very...socially awkward. And a feminist. :rofl: She hasn't been laid in years but that's ok cause she got her career  She's awesome. I love her. But we don't see eye to eye on a lot.


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## jpr (Dec 14, 2011)

canguy66 said:


> I'll take emotionaly mature, preferably +/-5 years than myself. Physical attraction is important, but the chemistry is crucial. When looks fade, the chemistry & connection is what truly keeps a relationship alive.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


awwwww...but, I am -10 years from you.


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## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

jpr said:


> awwwww...but, I am -10 years from you.


I can make exceptions, for the right person. 

Awwwww, huh?


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## jpr (Dec 14, 2011)

canguy66 said:


> I can make exceptions, for the right person.
> 
> Awwwww, huh?


pitter-patter, pitter-patter

...do you hear that, Canguy?

That is the sound of my heart going pitter-patter for you.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Get a room you two.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

jpr said:


> pitter-patter, pitter-patter
> 
> ...do you hear that, Canguy?
> 
> That is the sound of my heart going pitter-patter for you.


Awww shucks. 

Tu es une femme très spéciale et adorable, jpr.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

:rofl:

Awesome.


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## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

Hey Proud... sorry to highjack your thread. 

How're *YOU* doing?


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

Can,
I had a great day today. Went for an hour long walk/run this morning. Played basketball in the afternoon, all the while it's 88 degrees and humid out. Got all mine and kids laundry done. Went through and threw out old love letters from the ex. I did have to take my car into the shop, get a loaner for the time being. Kids had baseball practice, which I was able to help out. Then went out to dinner. Overall a good night. Feeling a tad lonely, wish I could snuggle with someone, but I'm with me, best person for me is me right now.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I love busy days. And you reminded me to fold the laundry. Damn. LOL!


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## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

proudwidaddy said:


> Went through and threw out old love letters from the ex.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That was a big step for you! Way to go. I threw out the big wedding framed photo last Monday. It was nothing but an object and a memory. Had to go.

Feels liberating, doesn't it? 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Wouldn't it be cool if we were able to toss our exes in the dumpster? Just once? A grocery store dumpster with lots of rotten cabbage and old eggs.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## UpnDown (May 4, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> Wouldn't it be cool if we were able to toss our exes in the dumpster? Just once? A grocery store dumpster with lots of rotten cabbage and old eggs.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Ooooo oooo! Can we can we?!?!


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## jpr (Dec 14, 2011)

canguy66 said:


> Awww shucks.
> 
> Tu es une femme très spéciale et adorable, jpr.


I don't speak French, you crazy Canadian.

Perhaps you can translate? 


....however, I do find your ability to speak a romance language incredibly attractive....does French Canadian count as a "romance language"?? :scratchhead: ....


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## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

jpr said:


> I don't speak French, you crazy Canadian.
> 
> Perhaps you can translate?
> 
> ...


Sure, I can turn on my proper, romantic French... among other things.


Translation: _You are a very special and adorable woman, jpr._

Note that in French, "adorable" takes on a more special meaning, as in depth of feeling, not as in cute puppy adorable. Not that there's anything wrong with a cure, adorable puppy. Especially one with sad eyes, right?


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## jpr (Dec 14, 2011)

canguy66 said:


> Sure, I can turn on my proper, romantic French... among other things.
> 
> 
> Translation: _You are a very special and adorable woman, jpr._
> ...


You're so awesome, Canguy. While I melt for cute, adorable puppies with sad eyes, your definition of "adorable" made my heart skip a beat. 

thanks.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

You two get a room


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## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

proudwidaddy said:


> You two get a room


You're the second person to suggest that this week. 

As they say, third time's the charm.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

This weekend is really getting to me for some reason, I know it's "just another day" (yet another saying I hate), but it's the loss of the family time I used to have for memorial day weekend. I'd get home from work, we'd grill out, have her parents over, it was a great time.

This weekend the kids are with their grandparents (her parents) at their cabin, and my ex is spending the weekend with her boyfriend, how sweet. YUCK!

I was so bothered by it that I bummed a smoke from a coworker, I haven't smoked in over twelve years, but it felt good today.


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## jpr (Dec 14, 2011)

proudwidaddy said:


> This weekend is really getting to me for some reason, I know it's "just another day" (yet another saying I hate), but it's the loss of the family time I used to have for memorial day weekend. I'd get home from work, we'd grill out, have her parents over, it was a great time.
> 
> This weekend the kids are with their grandparents (her parents) at their cabin, and my ex is spending the weekend with her boyfriend, how sweet. YUCK!
> 
> I was so bothered by it that I bummed a smoke from a coworker, I haven't smoked in over twelve years, but it felt good today.


I am sorry that you are having a tough time. It is understandable for you to me mourning the loss of "your family" as you know it....and all the little celebrations and traditions that were associated with it.

It is very sad. ...but watch yourself...don't let it be an excuse for you to go back to bad habits and destructive thoughts.

You have to keep moving forward in a positive direction.

...smoking is unattractive, smelly, and a total turn off.


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## MyselfAgain (Apr 21, 2012)

Agreed...smoking is not even an option on my Next Man Application. However, being a family man IS, so you're still in good standing. What CAN you do this weekend?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

I'm not going to smoke anymore, trust me. I work all weekend, have the kids on Sunday night. I have a lot of their laundry to fold. I'm going to watch some tv, read some books, go for a run tomorrow before work, just try to relax a little.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

proudwidaddy said:


> I'm not going to smoke anymore, trust me. I work all weekend, have the kids on Sunday night. I have a lot of their laundry to fold. I'm going to watch some tv, read some books, go for a run tomorrow before work, just try to relax a little.


Its alright bro. If it makes you feel better I have to stay in the hospital again this weekend. No D-Back's/Brewer's game for me.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

Bandit bro....I'm sorry you are in the hospital. Wish we all lived closer so we could cheer you up.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Keep posting, that keeps me cheered up, and when the D-Backs thrub the Brewers today I'll be even cheerier. LOL!

Try to go out tonight and have some fun. No sitting around a moping, okay?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

I won't sit around and mope tonight, I have to fold some laundry, then I'm going to go out for a run, and then watch some tv or read a little.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Take it easy Proud. You will get hurt living on the edge like that!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

I have to save my cash for getting my new place next month....besides right now I don't want to have another woman in my life, the last one screwed me over enough  (don't need another yet).

I'm just going to enjoy my time, and my kids.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Ok, why is Bandit in the hospital....and PiW, your day sounds like mine! Chores and kids and reading and a little tv. Although I want to game tonight.

Do you play video games?


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

that_girl said:


> Ok, why is Bandit in the hospital....and PiW, your day sounds like mine! Chores and kids and reading and a little tv. Although I want to game tonight.
> 
> Do you play video games?


I've got athlete's foot inside my lungs.


Valley Fever.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

@thatgirl,
Yes I play video games....but I've given myself a rule I can only play video games after Ive done some working out of some sort first.


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## MyselfAgain (Apr 21, 2012)

proudwidaddy said:


> @thatgirl,
> Yes I play video games....but I've given myself a rule I can only play video games after Ive done some working out of some sort first.


Discipline is hot. Keep it up, Proud! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

Watching some UFC fights....this is awesome
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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