# BJ problems?



## Pepe1970 (Aug 25, 2017)

Wife and I been married for 17 yrs. I'm 46 and she's 40. Many times when we have sex throughout the years, she likes to BJ me. Of course I feel like in heaven when she does it. The thing is that I never cum. I mean NEVER had. She always let me know all this time that she loves to see me spout. Of course I ejagulate by intercourse, but seeing me ejagulate on her face drives her wild in bed. But I feel she's a bit disappointed with herself since I never ejagulate by BJ. Please do comment on this with ideas. Thanks.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Pepe1970 said:


> Wife and I been married for 17 yrs. I'm 46 and she's 40. Many times when we have sex throughout the years, she likes to BJ me. Of course I feel like in heaven when she does it. The thing is that I never cum. I mean NEVER had. She always let me know all this time that she loves to see me spout. Of course I ejagulate by intercourse, but seeing me ejagulate on her face drives her wild in bed. But I feel she's a bit disappointed with herself since I never ejagulate by BJ. Please do comment on this with ideas. Thanks.


Try masturbating until almost the point of ejaculation and then let her do her thing.I don't actually get this desire of some women wanting "facials" or even "golden showers" but I have done it on occasion.I'm very obliging that way lol.


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

I've always had to think of other "things" to get off on a BJ. Pretend it's your hot neighbor/co-worker or your wife's best friend, that might do the trick. BJ's just kind of numb my penis and after a while you don't feel much. Don't get me wrong, it feels great but finishing is hard. The only time it's not hard is if it's been a LONG time since I've had an orgasm. A tit job feels amazing and gets me to come quickly usually.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

My bf had never gotten off with just a bj before and even now it is difficult. I've done it only a couple times. 

Easier to start with sex and finish with bj or you take over rubbing while she takes a break doing some work in other areas. Then when you are closer you can let her know. 


Why would a woman like facials? They feel nice and there's a sl*ty feeling that comes with it which is nice for some ladies. I quite enjoy it and jump up to go take a look after. Makes me feel good.


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## ButtPunch (Sep 17, 2014)

BJ's don't work on me either but they are a good warmup for the pounding.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Attitude / mood is a big part of BJs. One reason they are fun is that they can be anything from submissive to ****ty to controlling to loving etc. Are you on the same page on the sort of mood you like with them?


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*If it's a facial she wants, then just go doggy style as hard as you can and when you feel yourself getting pretty damn close, immediately pull out and let the oral begin! Let's just say that she'll get that facial she craves in pretty short order!

If a facial truly "floats her boat," then more power to you both! But as a red-blooded, older male, I'm just really not all that enthused about them! 

For me, BJ's are a great warm up act to the real deal! But there's nothing in this world that can come anywhere close to matching the sheer, scintillating, finishing pleasure of being tightly contained by a nice, moist, worked up VJJ of a woman who you absolutely love!*


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## podiumboy (Apr 2, 2017)

I'm the same way. I've only ever had one woman get me off from a blowjob, and that was 12 years ago! I've been with my wife for 11 years, and she has never been able to get me there orally. This other girl just really had a gift, and was very patient and persistent. I don't know if it's a mental thing, or if nobody else has been very skilled, or what. I don't have great stamina during sex (medium level stamina I'd say), but I feel like a girl could just go down on me all day and it'd feel great, but nothing would happen. 

Obviously that one girl wasn't right for me, but I still think back fondly on those BJs. I really wish I could experience a feeling like that again.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Interesting. Once I learned good positioning I went from enjoying giving BJs to loving doing them. Beforehand they would kind of gag me sometimes. I agree with the suggestion to get really close and then let her finish you. Once you do it, then you will feel more comfortable doing it again. 

My H had never come from a bj before we met. That can be changed. >


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Quit masterbation 

Abstain from cuming for a week or two make it a challenge say ok no masterbation or sex for 2 wks for both partners . Tease and flirt throughout the two weeks let the tension build.

She might get more than she bargained for.


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

It could be that she's just not doing it in a way that properly stimulates you.

The sensitive spot, on the underside of the head, really needs good stimulation, and I've found it's often overlooked. It's like performing oral sex on a woman and missing the clitoris, or not hitting it enough for her to achieve orgasm.

For years, my wife performed oral sex like that, and it would take forever (if at all). I finally told her that she could get me off in 2 minutes or less (and it would be easier on her) if she didn't just do the "up and down" thing, like you see in porn.

Without getting too graphic, some good pressure and movement with her tongue on the underside of the head is all you really need. The hand can take care of the rest.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

So I am totally biased here but a lady can be doing all the right things and he still can have trouble cumming from a bj. 

Bjs are like the one thing I am really good at. I take some serious pride in my bj skills and all the men before him and while with him are blown away (lol bj pun) 

I had one other guy tell me he couldn't O from a bj. I managed to with him as well but for him it was all mental and it was difficult to get through that. Showing how much I truly enjoyed it was the key there, the technical aspect was secondary. 

And if he's taking a long time it's going to start going down hill at some point cause sore mouths and jaws means less suction and tongue movement so help a lady out and mix in HJ and/or sex to quicken things up.


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

SlowlyGoingCrazy said:


> So I am totally biased here but a lady can be doing all the right things and he still can have trouble cumming from a bj.
> 
> Bjs are like the one thing I am really good at. I take some serious pride in my bj skills and all the men before him and while with him are blown away (lol bj pun)
> 
> ...


Yes, for sure, it can totally be mental.

Though with someone like you, I'm not sure how, TBH! You clearly show enthusiasm and enjoy doing it, so it's difficult to understand how a man wouldn't respond.

That said, when there's no obvious enthusiasm, or you know your partner just isn't into it (or generally dislikes giving oral sex) it's hard to enjoy it yourself unless you're a ****.

My ex wife, before she developed TMJ, used to give me oral sex, but she wasn't that great at it for starters, and it wouldn't take long before any enthusiasm she might have had started to wear off. There were numerous times where I'd get a look or even verbally say like "come one, dude, what gives?". Like she was used to previous guys getting off quickly or something and she was now insulted. I dunno.

But really, enthusiasm is what mainly drives enjoyment, with skill/technique being second.

Besides, "skill" is subjective. What works on 9 guys won't necessarily work on the 10th (or any combination of #'s). As I said, my wife used to give what would be best described as "porn head", which no doubt worked on others. But for me, not really. I would have to really concentrate to finish. Now that I've let her know what works for me, there's no concentration necessary!


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Are you able to O is she gives you a handjob?

If so, just work into it. 

Have her give you a HJ and right after you O, have her gently take you into her mouth and just hold there as you go back down. 

Then next time have her give you a HJ and go down on you gently as you are cumming and then hold it in her mouth as you go back down.

Then next time have her give you a HJ and then go down on you just as you are starting to spout.

Then next time go down just as you are feeling the O getting immenent.

And just keep doing that earlier in the sequence until she is giving you a full BJ.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

I agree that it could just be technique. Personally my shaft isn't too sensitive but the underside of my head is extremely sensitive. So simple head bobbing doesn't do it for me. Even when done enthusiastically. I much prefer she work on my head and then take me all in while I cum. Swallowing is a huge turn for me and usually gets her a few more spurts. I always like to be deep when I cum regardless of the location, pulling out or cumming on my own belly was never really satisfying.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

My husband gets off this way, every time...might she be using teeth too much, etc? Can't believe I'm asking this, but I'm going there.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

*Deidre* said:


> My husband gets off this way, every time...might she be using teeth too much, etc? Can't believe I'm asking this, but I'm going there.


Teeth? Complete turn off for me.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

Ynot said:


> Teeth? Complete turn off for me.


LOL, this is why I mentioned it, it can ruin the experience for a guy. Not that I'm a pro. :|


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## Lurkster (Feb 8, 2016)

I can be of no help at all....
BJ's have the opposite effect on me. Gives new meaning to 'quickie'.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

If you do the HJ/BJ thing, do not use lube. You don't want that crap in your mouth. Tastes and feels awful. Even the flavoured crap tastes chemically.


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## David51 (Sep 12, 2017)

SlowlyGoingCrazy said:


> If you do the HJ/BJ thing, do not use lube. You don't want that crap in your mouth. Tastes and feels awful. Even the flavoured crap tastes chemically.




Use olive oil as a lube


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

David51 said:


> Use olive oil as a lube
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


Or just saliva or vaginal wetness. I'd hate olive oil too. I'd not like getting all oily either. 

But ask her what she'd prefer.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

SlowlyGoingCrazy said:


> ...or vaginal wetness...


Great idea; at least I thought that at one time

I once told my wife I fantasized about her going down on me after riding me. I got the look--the one of horror like omg, I'm married to a repulsive sexual deviant!


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

My bf loves it. Actually I don't think I've been with a man who didn't love it. 
For my bf if I am giving a hj between or before bj I will sometimes gather some with my fingers to slide on him. He enjoys that as well as its a hot thing to watch but also a "look how wet you made me" thing. Which is how it started. 
Or he will do it with his fingers to put in my mouth at various times. 

Idk, if I expect him to taste it I might as well too. It's never bothered me. Quite nice actually.

You're certainly no deviant, it's well within the normal.


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## JayDee7 (Sep 12, 2017)

I had the same issue with my wife, she would go at it for 10-15 minutes with no finishing or she'd be too tired to continue. It was frustrating that she couldn't give me a good BJ and I didn't want to instruct her. Until I said, maybe if you use your hands and showed her hands to jerk me while she is sucking. This works beautifully and I finish after about 5 minutes. Now she sucks and jerks it at the same time and has it down. I just need her to commit to swallowing more often.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Pepe1970 said:


> ...... she likes to BJ me. Of course I feel like in heaven when she does it. The thing is that I never cum. I mean NEVER had.
> 
> ...but seeing me ejagulate on her face drives her wild in bed. But I feel she's a bit disappointed with herself since I never ejagulate by BJ.
> 
> ...*Please do comment on this with ideas.* Thanks.


Two suggestions from a guy whose wife never gives BJ's. I envy you.

(1) For most, your erotic nerves are connected. If you and she are OK with it (she can even use a lubed examination glove) have her put a finger up your backdoor. Then have her stroke your penis as in a HJ and see if she can feel contractions or twitches as she strokes you. If so, ask her to give you a BJ with her finger back there sensing the reaction she is causing with her tongue strokes, head movement and suction. Maybe the extra stimulation of her finger will also get you over the edge.

(2) Again, if you and she are OK with it have her start by giving you a prostate massage. That can also bring you to cum where ever she wants you to, but maybe not as forcefully. Or combine it with a BJ. With a finger on your prostate, she will definitely know when you cum. 


Good luck and enjoy what you have. The best sex is playful, loving, and exploratory without performance anxiety.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

The only BJ problem worth complaining about: lack thereof.:crying:


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