# Dominance...



## GAsoccerman

Women do you prefer you man to be dominant over you? or you Dominant over him?

Take for instance, you did a little role playing, Servant and master. Would you be the master or the servant?

My wife tried to be the "master" but did not like it, she enjoys being the servant.

She rather be told what to do, then tell others what to do.

I think this is just part of her "wiring" she does not even like to return items to the store. which drives me nuts, sometimes I want her to be assertive, but she can't do it. I guess it was just her upbringing....

how about for you?


----------



## Blanca

I dont like to tell others what to do. I've had a few jobs where i had to learn to be more assertive, but i hated it. 

I dont like anyone to be dominant over me either, though. Although if i had to choose, i would choose to be told what to do. its just easier.


----------



## lostluv

If the choice had to be made I would want to be the dominant one. I prefer a more even relationship though.


----------



## dcrim

Well, I know the question was directed at the ladies...but for my GF & I, we both like to switch it up a bit. Depends on our moods.


----------



## humpty dumpty

I love to be dominate , but thats part of my wiring  love to be in control ! although love being out of control to sometimes , depends on what mood im in


----------



## wantingmore

I would say I am the dominate one. I like to be in control and bossy 
I would like it though if my H took that role on occasion though


----------



## katem

Sometimes it is a confidence issue. I know I used to be a little insecure and I wanted my husband to be the more dominant one and tell me what to do because I was just not as agressive. Now I have learned to be agressive if I want sex because he goes through spats of depression and his sex drive goes way down. I don't know how long you guys have been together, but I think we are always learning what our partner likes and becoming more comfortable with them sexually. I would say just give her a lot of reassurance and maybe that will give her more confidence to ease into the dominant role. Let her get comfortable with you being dominant and maybe she'll want to try it later.


----------



## LucyInSC

In my career as a medical office manager for 35 years, I've had to lead and be in control. I never enjoyed it, I just did what I had to do. In my marriage, I want the man to be dominant. Not overbearing and controlling, but strong and able to make decisions. It is a turn-on for me to surrender and have my husband be the strong one. He is not always comfortable with that and asks me to lead. So we take turns, depending on our talents of the given situation.


----------



## pinkprincess

in my marriage i guess i am the more domonint one.... my husband is very passive and does not worry about any of the small things, where as I am one to go a tad over th top...which i am working on, even sexually i am the one to suggest new things and take control which works most of the time sometime i would like him to say NO to me(not sexually)


----------



## voivod

interestingly, or maybe not so...

firemen have a tendendency to be donimant in sexual and bdsm relationships...

while police officers tend to be submissive in sexual and bdsm relationships...

the case can be made that the sexual lives of humans reflects the alter-ego of the roles we land in in "real life." in other words, our sexual lives are used for "taking a break" from the stress and strain of our real lives. comments?


----------



## lostluv

:iagree:

I have a very dominate (sp?) personality but there are times when being is a sumissive (sp?) role sexually is a HUGE turn on.


----------



## wonder

i'm just a laid back person who goes w/ the flow. it's not a control issue. it's just who i am. if i have to be dominate, i will. if i don't have to be, then i won't


----------



## voivod

wonder said:


> i'm just a laid back person who goes w/ the flow. it's not a control issue. it's just who i am. if i have to be dominate, i will. if i don't have to be, then i won't


in the biz, we call that a "switch." enjoy what you are, that's the key.


----------



## lostangel78

I like both dominance and submission it just depends on the timing and how much time we have. I think it's erotic to be dominating and tell him what to do however I prefer submission. Nothing is more exciting than being forced to do things that I enjoy doing anyway but at his beck and call and when and how he wants and likes it. Hearig the way he calls my name is just WOW!


----------



## Junebug

voivod- I agree. 

I have been in a relationship where we both had careers that were very demanding/ supervisor/boss that kind of thing, and we both loved taking turns in both rolls. It was nice not to be the one in control once in awhile- just to give in and let someone else take over and enjoy what comes.


----------



## martino

GaSoccer,

What are you doing with all of this data you are collecting???


----------



## justean

and i just love it all. i like being told what to do, i like taking control.
i try and get a 50/50 situation on this.
its helps to both feel needed.
although i do admit to putin on real handcuffs and i got to rough that the cuffs made his wrists slightly bleed.
i think he was more concerned about me leaving him there tied to the bed.


----------



## GAsoccerman

> i think he was more concerned about me leaving him there tied to the bed.


 :rofl: oh you naughty girl....

Martino...not collecting anything, just letting people chat the subject....as you can see, it is not so uncommon....more people do it then is lead to beleieve.

I think it is healthy in a marriage to explore new options and new curiousities as long as BOTH of you are on board and willing to experiment.

now me and my wife need a day off together..... :FIREdevil:


----------



## justean

GAsoccerman said:


> :rofl: oh you naughty girl....
> 
> Martino...not collecting anything, just letting people chat the subject....as you can see, it is not so uncommon....more people do it then is lead to beleieve.
> 
> I think it is healthy in a marriage to explore new options and new curiousities as long as BOTH of you are on board and willing to experiment.
> 
> now me and my wife need a day off together..... :FIREdevil:


i just wanted to say that GAsoccerman is a credit to this site.
i like the threads you start. you help take away the low times, because you make me smile and laugh.
keep up with the threads. i love em


----------



## sarah.rslp

Hubby and I really only started enjoying sex as a couple when he began to become more dominant. At the begining it was me that initiated sex all the time and that took the lead. Then I tried using the whole ****ty little nympho routine that needed shagging among other stuff. It was quite hard for him to do as it wasn't something he had really experienced before. It took him a while to get his confidence up and to realise that he didn't need to ask permission before he touched me or initiated sex.

There's lots of little tricks and non verbal signals you can give if you want to encourage your partner. Like refusing to take your clothes off, making him do it while you progressivly put more and more effort into wriggling away. It's a bit more physical but fun.

I have mates that are in relationships where the dominant partner shifts around but to be honest if I'm in a place sexually where I'm satisfied I don't really feel the need to change.


----------



## martino

Soccerman,

Just teasing you a little bit! relax it's all good....


----------



## tonikessler

during working hours i lead in the office.. in the bedroom i like to be led around....hee hee


----------



## Junebug

My girlfriends and I have often said, if he wants me, I wish he would just take me. Forget the freakin flowers- making dinner, having a shower, whatever. Show me how much you want me, can't wait another minute... I don't necessarily need to be romanced, I just need a good... well... you know. Many guys think all we ever need is flowers or romance... well, not all of us do!!


----------



## voivod

Junebug said:


> My girlfriends and I have often said, if he wants me, I wish he would just take me. Forget the freakin flowers- making dinner, having a shower, whatever. Show me how much you want me, can't wait another minute... I don't necessarily need to be romanced, I just need a good... well... you know. Many guys think all we ever need is flowers or romance... well, not all of us do!!


okay...no more flowers for you...


----------



## Junebug

voivod I would much rather be shown by the desire, the passion, the 'that's my woman and I need her now'. Flowers do have their place though... once in awhile!! But the animalistic primal need... yeah, that does it for me more!


----------



## justean

Junebug said:


> But the animalistic primal need... yeah,


:iagree: hit the nail on the head.


----------



## MarkTwain

voivod said:


> okay...no more flowers for you...


----------



## GAsoccerman

Is this why my wife just loves it when I grab her in the kitchen and take her in the hallway where the kids can't see us and gte naughty with her, to the point of....quickly go upstairs to finish....


----------



## Junebug

You got it GAsoccerman... take us back to when we first started dating and you were dying to get your hands on us. Show us how much you desire it. Many of us have a naughty side, some just won't admit it outright!! It's a total turn on to be so desired by someone that much!


----------



## stepmomandwife08

We love to take turns being the one in control!! But I love it when he lets me know im his dirty **** and tells me what he wants!!


----------



## justean

Junebug said:


> You got it GAsoccerman... take us back to when we first started dating and you were dying to get your hands on us. Show us how much you desire it. Many of us have a naughty side, some just won't admit it outright!! It's a total turn on to be so desired by someone that much!


:iagree:


----------



## lostluv

I agree as well! There are times when the sweet intimacy and passion is great, but there are other times when the "I can't get enough" primal instict is hot too!


----------



## MsLady

I can have fun in both roles. But, if I'm honest, dominating is fun in the way playing Uno is fun (I like Uno). But being dominated is HOT and sexy (though it's hard to find the man that can be a loving and trustworthy sexual leader - plus I have trust issues, so I feel much safer dominating, but it's less erotic).


----------



## lostluv

:iagree:


----------

