# Wife hitting husband



## tamii (Oct 14, 2012)

Would a wife hitting a husband with a fist be considered assault even if the force used isn't sufficient to cause any significant physical pain?


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

yep


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

Yes it is.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

the oracles have spoken


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## Juicer (May 2, 2012)

Is it assault?

Yes. 

Will the police take it seriously?
Probably not. 

Unless you got a bruise or something like that.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

I think you'd have to be a bit more specific. I'm not sure what "isn't sufficient to cause any significant physical pain" means. So, I'm driving down the road, my wife spots a VW and yells "slugbug" and hits my arm.....not assault (as far as I'm concerned). But, if we're in a fight and she punches me with the same force, I suppose that is assault.


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

During our last row my wife threw wine from her glass at me. I heard the other day that I could have got a two year restraining order just for that if I had a mind to. For me it was good to see some active aggression from her as opposed to her usual passive aggression. But it’s me who ended up repainting the ceiling.


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

Dollystanford said:


> the oracles have spoken


:rofl:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

The exact wording of the assault statute depends on your state, but "yes". 

The "shall arrest" statute regarding domestic violence means I have to take the primary aggressor to jail. That doesn't necessarily mean the one who caused the most physical damage to the other party. In my state, if you make the first provocative physical contact and the police can prove it, you're taking a ride.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

My wife hits me with her fist all the time.
Especially when I lift her off he floor or when we're fooling around in bed.

She can *assault* me anytime she wishes.
That's her prerogative!


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

tamii said:


> Would a wife hitting a husband with a fist be considered assault even if the force used isn't sufficient to cause any significant physical pain?


LOL. My wife has never hit me in anger but she has tried in a playful manner. It is hilarious.

But indeed women can be abusive to men. If the intent is to harm then there is an easy answer to this. 

Cut them loose from your life.


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## NutritionFacts (Oct 24, 2012)

Caribbean Man said:


> My wife hits me with her fist all the time.
> Especially when I lift her off he floor or when we're fooling around in bed.
> 
> She can *assault* me anytime she wishes.
> That's her prerogative!


It's wonderful that your marriage is cookies and cream, Caribbean Man... 

But I think the original poster intended on his post being taken seriously. Perhaps you are too caught up in la la land to realize that physical abuse in a relationship (from a male or female) is VERY real and can be a VERY big problem... I don't think the original poster is going to benefit from your Grade 9 humour.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

NutritionFacts said:


> It's wonderful that your marriage is cookies and cream, Caribbean Man...
> 
> But I think the original poster intended on his post being taken seriously. Perhaps you are too caught up in la la land to realize that physical abuse in a relationship (from a male or female) is VERY real and can be a VERY big problem... I don't think the original poster is going to benefit from your Grade 9 humour.


NF, I think it was germane to the dicussion. The fact is that women can often in a playful manner hit on their man. The difference is the intent.


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## Juicer (May 2, 2012)

unbelievable said:


> The "shall arrest" statute regarding domestic violence means I have to take the *primary aggressor to jail. *That doesn't necessarily mean the one who caused the most physical damage to the other party. In my state, if you make the first provocative physical contact and the police can prove it, you're taking a ride.


Well, in that case, hope my wife never tries this. 
Otherwise, I don't have a snow ball's chance in hell of not spending the night in jail.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

NutritionFacts said:


> It's wonderful that your marriage is cookies and cream, Caribbean Man...
> 
> But I think the original poster intended on his post being taken seriously. Perhaps you are too caught up in la la land to realize that physical abuse in a relationship (from a male or female) is VERY real and can be a VERY big problem... I don't think the original poster is going to benefit from your Grade 9 humour.


I think you should read AFEH's post.
My wife is also passive aggressive.
It is a form of "constructive aggression."
Maybe you could try it?


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

tamii said:


> Would a wife hitting a husband with a fist be considered assault even if the force used isn't sufficient to cause any significant physical pain?


 It doesn't matter if you are a man or woman, you should never hit your partner. 

My husbands co-worker's wife is psychically abusive, she has also gone to jail for domestic violence.

Yes, it will still be considered assault


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

Juicer said:


> Is it assault?
> 
> Yes.
> 
> ...


 They do and will take it seriously, man or woman it does not matter.


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## DrDavidCOlsen (Oct 7, 2012)

Violence and hitting is never OK and cannot be sanctioned. Hitting can be part of rapid escalator couples which we describe in "The Couples Survival Workbook". Start with watching your interactional sequences when you argue. How do things escalate? How does each person push the other's buttons? Then work on two things. First, work on changing your own style of interaction, and change your style to help calm the other. Second, negotiate ground rules for conflict.
A good couple's therapist can be very helpful with this. 
In the end, violence of any kind cannot be condoned.
David Olsen, PHD, LMFT


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

tamii said:


> Would a wife hitting a husband with a fist be considered assault even if the force used isn't sufficient to cause any significant physical pain?


Absolutely! Violence is violence.

While the cops might not take it seriously in some places, it is every bit as damaging to a relationship as if that same punch had broken a bone.


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

I think the time that cops may not take female-to-male aggression seriously is when dealing with reports made after the incident.

From what I saw when I worked at a domestic violence agency, if there was any indication at all that a domestic dispute was mutual, their preference by far was to either take in the person without marks or if they couldn't determine a primary aggressor at the scene, they'd haul them both in and let the courts figure it out.

Not a great solution, and granted this was years ago, but that was something we saw pretty frequently.


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

COGypsy said:


> I think the time that cops may not take female-to-male aggression seriously is when dealing with reports made after the incident.
> 
> From what I saw when I worked at a domestic violence agency, if there was any indication at all that a domestic dispute was mutual, their preference by far was to either take in the person without marks or if they couldn't determine a primary aggressor at the scene, they'd haul them both in and let the courts figure it out.
> 
> Not a great solution, and granted this was years ago, but that was something we saw pretty frequently.


About 20 years ago in Arizona, hauling them both in was the standard. I'm sorry this has changed over the years, because I'm a firm believer that two people are always contributing to whatever happens.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

COGypsy said:


> *I think the time that cops may not take female-to-male aggression seriously is when dealing with reports made after the incident.*
> 
> From what I saw when I worked at a domestic violence agency, if there was any indication at all that a domestic dispute was mutual, their preference by far was to either take in the person without marks or if they couldn't determine a primary aggressor at the scene, they'd haul them both in and let the courts figure it out.
> 
> Not a great solution, and granted this was years ago, but that was something we saw pretty frequently.


^^^^^^^^
Same problem we have in our country, and the courts are heavily baised against men in these type of cases.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Absolutely. Assault is assault irrespective of gender.


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

my opinion??

Well.. I guess it depends what kind of "not enough force to cause physical pain" means.

If she purposely hit you lighter, as to "not" cause pain.. and was just playing,... or I guess controlling herself... Then my opinion is "No" that is not abuse.

If she "meant" to cause pain, but just didn't have the strength to do so.. Ie, that she was punching you in anger... Then my opinion is "Yes" that could be construed as assault.


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## SpinDaddy (Nov 12, 2012)

Yes, assault is generally defined as an act intended to cause offensive contact or apprehension of an offensive contact whereas battery generally will require offensive contact.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Absolutely. We knew a couple years ago ...the wife was twice the weight of the husband and it was well known that she hit him. I think he took it because of the shame and embarrassment he felt. He left her eventually and we all cheered for him.

NO WAY he would ever call the police though...so she got away with it


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## Viseral (Feb 25, 2011)

This is a good opportunity to point out how discriminatory the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) is towards men and fathers. 

In this bad economy, the federal government spends $730 million dollars per year on social programs that benefit only women, and not men. This is especially unfair when you consider the following:

"Social science research, replicated across hundreds of studies, shows that: domestic violence (DV) is initiated about equally by men and women; slightly more women than men are physically harmed by DV but men nonetheless still represent more than 40% of the physically harmed victims; the DV initiation rates for women, and especially young women, have been rising.

Given that DV approaches 50-50 on most indices, why does Congress want to serve only half of the victims? Where are the programs for male victims of DV? Where is the money for fathers and their children who have been victimized by violent and abusive wives and mothers?

VAWA also provides free legal services to purported women victims while simultaneously denying free legal services to men. In today’s courts, a woman can allege to a judge (without the accused being present) that she was the victim of DV and is requesting a restraining order based on “expanded” definitions of DV. “Expanded” definitions include vague senses of discomfort, fears, and “Economic DV” (where the man did not fulfill the woman’s economic wants).

With the restraining order in hand, the police remove the father from the home (often in the middle of the night) with nothing but the shirt on his back, order him to stay out of his home and away from his wife and children, and immediately begin paying child support to the woman who just “stole” his children and his home from him."

Violence against individuals (men and women) is already enforced under existing laws governing assault. Is it not unconstitutional to take money from male tax payers to pay for female only programs? Wouldn't that be just like taking money from female tax payers to fund male only institutions? Our laws should be gender neutral and not gender biased.


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

One of the final straws in my first marriage is when my ex began to hit me and hit me pretty hard, but I never struck her back even though she may have deserved it but after like the 3rd time it happened.........I was done with her and moved out permanently.


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

NutritionFacts said:


> It's wonderful that your marriage is cookies and cream, Caribbean Man...
> 
> But I think the original poster intended on his post being taken seriously. Perhaps you are too caught up in la la land to realize that physical abuse in a relationship (from a male or female) is VERY real and can be a VERY big problem... I don't think the original poster is going to benefit from your Grade 9 humour.


Take a chill pill! I think your diet is messing with your sense of humor. 

If the guy is talking about something that doesn't even hurt we don't even know exactly where to begin. Was this some fooling around, was this in anger, was this super punch followed by further acts of aggressiveness? Was the woman really trying to hurt but was unable? Or was she controlling her strength in order not to hurt?

It can be assault or not. Personally i don't think anyone is going to jail for that. 




> Viseral said:
> 
> 
> > This is a good opportunity to point out how discriminatory the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) is towards men and fathers.
> ...


That's screwed up! I had no idea this sort of discrimination was enforced by law in the US.


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