# Good Man? I don't think so!!!



## oncehisangel (Oct 13, 2012)

So I'm taking a break from doing big mans jobs on my 3/4 acre-and I've done my back and I spent half the time crying and cursing as I was destroying plants and overgrown hedges with my borrowed hedge trimmer.

I'm now in agony on the outside.

And Im reaaaaaaaaaaallly angry at him!

Hare dare he leave me with this mess! 

When I asked him in the last conversation (which was him screaming at me and me not really saying anything cause I was in shock) why he stayed if the whole 15 years was fake love from his end (BULL****!) he said, 
"Because I'm a good guy."

HE IS NOT A BLOODY GOOD GUY! 

He's a guy he said he'd never be! He's a damn BASTARD!


So... definitions of a good man please?
What's yours?

Mine is this- A man who walks by my side, not in-front , nor behind; a man who wants me as much as I want him; a man who puts God as our foundation and is true to himself from the beginning. A man who sticks with his morals and a man who can talk without fear when he's sad and happy with his woman; a man who wants to fix hearts when he breaks them. 
A *good* _man_ doesn't lie when he looks in your eyes and says "I love you".


Sorry TAMmers- I'm really mad and flipping sad. Who walks away when you need them the most? Walks away saying they want freedom and goes straight to another family ( my own brother's wife and children!) with kids and breaks that up too. Moron!


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## Nsweet (Mar 3, 2012)

He's just rewriting history with "I never loved you" to avoid taking responsibility for his low-self esteem and misery. Going to another family (your brother's) and breaking them up too!? Moron is right! Although, reconciliation for your brother shouldn't be to hard for them, because your husband made the super-special-minded decision to cheat through the family tree... You can Eff up his game plan for that relationship by doing the 180 with your brother and spending time together sharing secrets and ranting about your husband.

As for your question..... A good man doesn't let his woman do the yard work unless she asks to join. A good man doesn't go against bro code and try to f*ck a guy's girl. And a good would rather beat himself up and work on his faults instead of cheat, lie, or leave the marriage unfinished. If he's unhappy now he's going to remain unhappy when no one wants who he has become.


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## Can't believe it's over (Oct 6, 2012)

I agree with your good man qualities. You are so much better than him. You deserve better than him. I know it's hard, I'm in the boat with you, but we will over come this and we will be better for it in the end. We just have to keep on going, pushing forward one second, minute, hour one day at a time, whatever it takes to get there. You are a good person, I know this because you have helped me with some great advice. Now think about your situation, pretend it is your best friends life...what would you tell her?


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## our vision shattered (May 25, 2012)

oncehisangel said:


> So I'm taking a break from doing big mans jobs on my 3/4 acre-and I've done my back and I spent half the time crying and cursing as I was destroying plants and overgrown hedges with my borrowed hedge trimmer.
> 
> I'm now in agony on the outside.
> 
> ...


my question is the same, where do i find a woman like that?


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## oncehisangel (Oct 13, 2012)

and one more thing


IM DAMN MISSEABLE!! 

how do you spell that?? *crosses eyes


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## oncehisangel (Oct 13, 2012)

Can't believe it's over said:


> I agree with your good man qualities. You are so much better than him. You deserve better than him. I know it's hard, I'm in the boat with you, but we will over come this and we will be better for it in the end. We just have to keep on going, pushing forward one second, minute, hour one day at a time, whatever it takes to get there. You are a good person, I know this because you have helped me with some great advice. Now think about your situation, pretend it is your best friends life...what would you tell her?


thankyou darling.

Im so erratic .... and so normal right? If this was my best friend going through this?
I'd say, honey in the great words of Myra D'Angelo. "You did what you did, until you knew better. " 
Now get your trainers on, armour up, grab a bottle of your fav' sav' blanc and lets run like hell from that pr*@k-and find true happiness. 
Or 2/ lets go and put prawns in my SIL bedroom curtains and gladwrap her loo seat. 

good grief..someone pass me a bourban and a million bucks.
and bricks to throw at her house...ok that was mean....ok...i dont care
xx one step at a time- one weed at a time.


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## oncehisangel (Oct 13, 2012)

annnnnnd another thing

Im damn FUNNY

all she does is drink.....thats not attractive!! pfft
sorry..in a mood. 

just shoot me lol


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## Can't believe it's over (Oct 6, 2012)

oncehisangel said:


> thankyou darling.
> 
> 
> Or 2/ lets go and put prawns in my SIL bedroom curtains and gladwrap her loo seat.


I'll go with you to help! LOL


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## oncehisangel (Oct 13, 2012)

Can't believe it's over said:


> I'll go with you to help! LOL


another giggle...you and I are on a roll


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## oncehisangel (Oct 13, 2012)

ok- stress levels are high today..

Im worried about the house. I have no finances to fix it up and it needs to be done to try and get maximum price.

He said he was organising his dad and him to do the jobs but won't respond in either email or text(no relationship stuff mentioned) since he had his blowup and I argued back for once. *bangs head

If I dont get it on the market -the mortgage is frozen for a short term period- we have to start paying it again and I have no income from closing the business. I owe my mum some money and she's getting worried too. 

What is the best way to get him to respond without looking like a needy wench.

Seriously getting worried now...I feel like his entire family has been erased.


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## Can't believe it's over (Oct 6, 2012)

oncehisangel said:


> He said he was organising his dad and him to do the jobs but won't respond in either email or text


any chance of contacting his dad? I'm sorry it's so aggravating for you. I also HATE to say this, but sometimes in life we have to cut our losses.


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## oncehisangel (Oct 13, 2012)

Can't believe it's over said:


> any chance of contacting his dad? I'm sorry it's so aggravating for you. I also HATE to say this, but sometimes in life we have to cut our losses.


yup=sent a relaxed text to daddyo asking what day he and son were coming up and said couldnt get hold of his son. NO response.

I have cut my lossess...but the house is pretty important as its my ticket to freedom after all this is done. And I just can't have my mum's debt on my shoulders.

ach!


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## Eternal Embrace (Apr 26, 2012)

I'm so sorry you're having to go thru all this!

And even the dad doesn't have the common courtesy to contact you back??? That's just sad...

One thing thou - you and your prawn comments crack me the hell up! My STBXH is allergic to shellfish and I always joke with my friends about putting shrimp in his pockets so he'll have an allergic reaction - just a thought that makes me smile...:smthumbup:


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## oncehisangel (Oct 13, 2012)

Eternal Embrace said:


> I'm so sorry you're having to go thru all this!
> 
> And even the dad doesn't have the common courtesy to contact you back??? That's just sad...
> 
> One thing thou - you and your prawn comments crack me the hell up! My STBXH is allergic to shellfish and I always joke with my friends about putting shrimp in his pockets so he'll have an allergic reaction - just a thought that makes me smile...:smthumbup:


ok FINALLY - got a text from his dad saying he'll see me tomorrow and son will be in touch
Next text within ten mins- will be there after lunch tomorrow and thursday friday. 


ok...so at least we have some movement.  ill keep you posted..... 
I have to be ......
cool, calm and something else I dont remember?


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## oncehisangel (Oct 13, 2012)

F F S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

somebody kill me now......remember the lovely english neighbour who heard my ex yelling at me? Came over to see if i was ok..then leant me his hedge clipper (electric) to make life easier...?

omg...three days of hedge trimming ...one bad back.....re attacked today and i fell in a rose bush and cut through the frigg*N BOSCH cord MY NEIGHBOUR LEANT ME. AND ITS FROM ENGLAND. 

could this **** get any more complicated??? I feel sick.. 

hate him.....wish id cut through my WH pecker instead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! arrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhh grrrr 

gone to drown in a cab sav...anyone from the UK?


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## oncehisangel (Oct 13, 2012)

ok im just having a wee cry now 

dumb ass woman.. THREE DAYS... id been so careful 

gawd


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## Eternal Embrace (Apr 26, 2012)

Honey, calm down, it's gonna be ok. I'm sure if you explain to your neighbor what happened he'll realize it was just an accident and that you didn't go all bat sh!t crazy on the cord for no reason. I'm sure he's a reasonable person with which something can be worked out.

Breathe, darlin'.

As far as the cry - it's good to get it out once in a while - you don't want to be keepin' all your emotions bottled up for them to explode without your control at any given moment.

At least the FIL got back to you - that's progress and hopefully some things can be remedied with your meeting.

I know you have a ton on your plate right now babe but freaking out is only gonna make it worse for you. You can do this! Hang in there and don't forget to breathe!:smthumbup:


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## oncehisangel (Oct 13, 2012)

lol..im calm..just was grumpy having a sooky la la moment..because I can't afford stuff like this happening.

Yup. the both of them are coming.

Im wierdly not to nervous.

Ive made an appointment so I wont be here when the first arrive... 


Thanks eternal...Im ok..just grr at ruining my neighbours loved garden machine. Ill try and get the cord replaced first.

sighs...rollercoasting superbly atm 

I only pulled out five thorns -could have been in my bum! then it would have been worse.

huggs peace and happy thoughts..going off to not sleep again xx


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## oncehisangel (Oct 13, 2012)

ps i think the odd freak out is ok... 

ach-need a holiday.


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## BigMac (Oct 29, 2012)

> So... definitions of a good man please?


Same as the definition of a good woman ! 

As long as is not needy and insecure then is a good man/woman !


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## oncehisangel (Oct 13, 2012)

true true mr mac


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