# Sex takes too long, how to speed it up?



## Pumpkin1317 (Sep 26, 2014)

My husband and I have sex about twice a week, sometimes more, sometimes less. About half the time it takes him 1-2 hours to finish, and usually that happens when I am finished before he is. Then things get uncomfortable for me. I seem to dry out if I go first. We started using lubricant but he seems to be offended if I need to do that. 

What can I do to help with that? If guys finish first, it's pretty much done for the woman. Also I just can't keep going after an hour or more, but I have learned that if I say I can't keep going, then he gets really angry. Some of the worst fights we've had have been over this type of situation. 

Any advice to help us out with this?


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## Quantmflux (Feb 6, 2013)

how about switching to non penetrative sex?

personally i dont care that much if I dont "get off". once one of us is tired, it seems selfish to me for either party to push it.

that said if you're *always* out of sync, then some solution is required, but no reason you should be in physical discomfort. there are lots of ways it can "work"


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Well why is he holding back so long? Or is he having problems ?


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## Quantmflux (Feb 6, 2013)

Wolf1974 said:


> Well why is he holding back so long? Or is he having problems ?


Could be his norm... I know its that way for me. PIV its always been tricky for me to get there (with condom almost impossible)


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## Pumpkin1317 (Sep 26, 2014)

I know if we've been out with friends and drinking , it takes longer, but not sure that he has any medical problems. I always thought that would translate to not being able to perform, not being able to go for over an hour. Embarrassing to say but I let him try the "backdoor" recently and it helps, but I can't do that for long. I've heard of tightening products but I don't know if they really work.


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## Mostlycontent (Apr 16, 2014)

It sounds like he has a major sensitivity problem to me. I've gone through periods where I've seemed to have very little feeling for some reason or another. 

we've been using coconut oil for the past 4 or 5 years now though and that stuff is the bomb. I would also recommend supplements like Yohimbine extract and L-Arginine for blood flow purposes. That's what gives a man his erection and sensitivity. I would also have his T Levels checked because having to go an hour or more just doesn't seem normal.

My W prefers sex to be urgent, meaning that we're both really turned on and nothing lasting more than 20 to 30 minutes. I never drink before sex either as I've had problems finishing at times when I did.

I know that everyone is a little different but concentrate on things for him that will increase his sensitivity because if he's anything like me, if it feels good then you won't have any trouble climaxing.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Pumpkin1317 said:


> I know if we've been out with friends and drinking , it takes longer, but not sure that he has any medical problems. I always thought that would translate to not being able to perform, not being able to go for over an hour.


Some alcohol can lead to guys not being able to finish easily or quickly. Too much alcohol can lead to having erection problems.

How much does he masturbate? If it is frequent, he could have gotten used to his grip, which your body can't duplicate. Maybe he can lay off the masturbation, if that's the issue.


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## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

I agree...something is up (excuse the pun!) - one to two hours?
I feel sorry for both of you...I bet its as frustrating for him as it is for you.

Have to tried to find out why he takes so long?


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## Rayloveshiswife (Sep 25, 2013)

Never heard the term URGENT sex. That's what my wife likes though. She gets aroused so dam fast, sometimes faster than me. I'd really like to just slow down and take my time. But even then, two hours.......I'd give up long before that. 

I'd really look into the masterbation thing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Pumpkin1317 said:


> My husband and I have sex about twice a week, sometimes more, sometimes less. About half the time it takes him 1-2 hours to finish, and usually that happens when I am finished before he is.


1-2 hours is a bit extreme....



Pumpkin1317 said:


> Then things get uncomfortable for me. I seem to dry out if I go first. We started using lubricant but he seems to be offended if I need to do that.


Do you get offended when he doesn't get hard?

Women not getting wet/staying wet is equivalent to man not getting hard. Remember that. That is your part of the deal!




Pumpkin1317 said:


> What can I do to help with that? If guys finish first, it's pretty much done for the woman. Also I just can't keep going after an hour or more, but I have learned that if I say I can't keep going, then he gets really angry. Some of the worst fights we've had have been over this type of situation.
> 
> Any advice to help us out with this?


You need to get creative. Ask him what new you can do to drive his excitement a bit more. 

DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. Cause clearly what you are/have been doing is not working.

Change position. Talk dirty to him. Grab your tits......stick a finger in your ass.......different positions......these are all examples, regardless, ASK HIM what he would like, get creative and do something DIFFERENT.

Even changing the room (kitchen or bathroom) can do the trick.....

Have you tried playing with his anal area? Tell him to jerk off and rub it around a bit. 

Or lick his balls while he wacks off....



But his anger has to also stop, that's not right. Clearly you are trying. Tell him you don't appreciate him getting angry AFTER you ask him what you can do different.

You can also try watching porn with him. I know many here don't recommend it but it does stimulate sexual senses. Wife and I watch it from time to time.....and we have great sex life/no issues.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

sounds like delayed ejaculation to me

Delayed Ejaculation: Causes, Symptoms & Diagnosis


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

if he's not turned on enough he's not going to orgasm. Nothing turned on and off could be a matter of attraction or in this case it sounds like it is a matter of him not getting enough stimulation. He should stop masturbating and if there's any porn he should cease all. As well. 

those are the two simple things that he can do on his own without any help from anyone else. 

and that's where he should begin.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

I recall a co-worker who was into swinging telling me about a guy in their group they called 'marathon man'. He prided himself on being able to pound away like a jack hammer for hours. Contrary to what many of us have learned from porn he was actually unpopular with the women in the group. OP...I don't think you're alone in thinking while its great he can last...there is a limit.

I find it concerning your husband gets angry about this issue. I can't imagine worrying about making him angry really helps to get your juices flowing. 

There are probably things you can do to make him cum quicker. These are all highly individual though. Most likely there is something that really turns his crank and will get him off quicker. It may be a certain position, it may be a certain attitude on your part, it may be touching or kissing a particular part of his body while you're having sex, it could be having sex in a particular environment etc. You could work/experiment with him to figure out his hot button.


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## thetiredmommy (Sep 10, 2014)

Pumpkin1317 said:


> My husband and I have sex about twice a week, sometimes more, sometimes less. About half the time it takes him 1-2 hours to finish, and usually that happens when I am finished before he is. Then things get uncomfortable for me. I seem to dry out if I go first. We started using lubricant but he seems to be offended if I need to do that.
> 
> What can I do to help with that? If guys finish first, it's pretty much done for the woman. Also I just can't keep going after an hour or more, but I have learned that if I say I can't keep going, then he gets really angry. Some of the worst fights we've had have been over this type of situation.
> 
> Any advice to help us out with this?


Maybe he can go to a doctor?? I read somewhere that men having a hard time finishing if they have cardiovascular concerns or are overweight...are any of those things true for him?


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

So, he knows it makes you uncomfortable/in pain, but he gets mad if you want to use lube?


um, wth.


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## tryagain13 (Sep 15, 2014)

Mostlycontent said:


> It sounds like he has a major sensitivity problem to me. I've gone through periods where I've seemed to have very little feeling for some reason or another.
> .


I brought this up in another thread, I know, but could masturbation be an issue? In my partner, it really seems to decrease sensitivity when we have sex. And it definitely makes him take longer (often longer than I would like).


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Really? People think making love for 1, 2, or more hours is extreme?

Maybe you folks like fast food, but me? I like 3 to 5 courses and an appertif.

OP I would recommend that you need to have a frank discussion.

The fact that he gets offended if you need to use lube is incredibly juvenile behavior. 

In my sexual history, I have only been involved with 2 women who could and wanted to keep up with me. They were both very high drive. They were both extraordinarily responsive, but yeah, we still used lots of lube.

I can also tell you that few things in my life have hurt more than when my ex-wife made it apparent that she was fed up with trying to get me off. She could have chosen many ways to let me know that she was running out of steam, or desire in a loving way. Instead she would coldly ask, "Are you getting close?" Roll her eyes, or suck her teeth if I started to lose my erection.

It's a slippery slope ... pun intended.

But all the previous suggestions are good ones.

Lay off the masturbation, lay off the porn, lay off the fatty foods, and the booze. Get a blood work up including testosterone panel.


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

thetiredmommy said:


> Maybe he can go to a doctor?? I read somewhere that men having a hard time finishing if they have cardiovascular concerns or are overweight...are any of those things true for him?


This is worth looking in to. Just chiming in to add diabetes to the list. My spouse lasts longer now because of his diabetes/medication (though not two hours thank goodness). Making love all night long sounds fun in theory...not so much in practice when things dry up and start to feel rubbed raw. Getting a check-up is never a bad idea.



tryagain13 said:


> I brought this up in another thread, I know, but could masturbation be an issue? In my partner, it really seems to decrease sensitivity when we have sex. And it definitely makes him take longer (often longer than I would like).


Also this. If he's watching a lot of porn and masturbating a lot he could be less sensitive down there. Especially true for men who use a really tight grip when they jerk it. It wouldn't matter how many kegels you did, the tightest vag could never compete with the grip of his hand if this is a factor for him. 

In this case, he and "Palmela" need to take a hiatus from their relationship for a while. (One to three months) to regain sensitivity. This can happen for women too for using vibrators on their clitoris too often and too high. You can get desensitized to oral/manual stimulation.Same advice for women experiencing the same problems... when it gets like that it's time to take a break from "Bob" (Battery Operated Boyfriend).


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

Deejo said:


> Really? People think making love for 1, 2, or more hours is extreme?


It's too long if we're just talking about PIV. Mixing it up with foreplay, kissing, caressing, oral etc. then no, 2 hours sounds like fun, but straight on PIV? Nuh, uh. That starts to hurt after a while - especially given OP's H gets offended by lube.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

Deejo, I'm afraid to say that delayed ejaculation also known as inhibited or retarded ejaculation is a sexual dysfunction the average man does not go very long without orgasm .

you may have been very hurt but I don't think you understand how hurtful this is a problem can do to a woman as well. 

the problem can be a number of thing it can be deep seated I can be shallow it can be problematic throughout a person's life. 

but it is most definitely a form of sexual dysfunction. 

in many cases it can be treated and in some cases it can not. 

it is becoming more prevalent. It used to be reported proximately of men had this problem but with porn and masturbation being what it is young people are experiencing this issue more and more. 

and I really don't give a flying about people saying oh you're just trying to demonize porn and masturbation is completely normal. These are just the facts. If you don't like them well I hope it never impact you or your children. 

so to the OP if your husband is watching porn and masturbating then he is probably causing his own problem. It could be as short as a month or two of not watching and masturbating to right himself or it could be as long as years. 

the real problem is going to be convincing him that it is anywhere related. If he's been watching porn from an early age still argue he will argue that this is just the way he is and that since other people masturbate and watch porn that I cannot have contributed to his situation. That's rationalization from an ignorant standpoint. 

then there's a matter of slipping back into bad habits. 

so if porn masturbation do play a role in this you're going to have to take a hard line and be willing to walk if he won't fix the problem. 

if those two factors are not involved then it can be a longer process to at least get at the root cause. he doesn't seem like he's a nice guy so I can't say that it is concerned with pleasing you that makes him nervous. and it isn't about him deny himself pleasure because he is trying to please you. 

good sex from both sides requires a certain amount of selfishness so anyone who is more focused on their partner is sometimes unable to allow themselves to sit back and let the pleasure washed over them. 

These are some of the more simple rational causes . 

we can get into other things that are much deeper and Scarier in terms of psychology .

people with certain physical diseases like diabetes can also experience this issue. good cardiovascular health is number one when it comes to male sexual functioning. low testosterone could possibly play a role but I would argue that it has to be combined with some other issues to impact it the way you described.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I had a friend who told me her husbands sometimes took an hour but he was on meds... (Adderall ).. so Wondering if your husband takes any medication? I know she was not always up for these long stretches ...it wore her down.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

DoF said:


> Do you get offended when he doesn't get hard?
> 
> Women not getting wet/staying wet is equivalent to man not getting hard. Remember that. That is your part of the deal!
> .



I can't believe I just read this. Now women have to stay wet for an entire one to two hours or they are not keeping their end of the deal. Just so a man doesn't have his feelings hurt.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

soccermom2three said:


> I can't believe I just read this. Now women have to stay wet for an entire one to two hours or they are not keeping their end of the deal. Just so a man doesn't have his feelings hurt.


A lot of women's feelings do tend to get hurt if the man can't get or maintain an erection all the way through climax.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

yes that's true. but it's a whole lot different asking a woman to stay wet for an hour or two. 

it is pretty amazing that most of the time guys with this problems can stay erect for an extremely long amount of time but they also tend to complain about a lack of feeling. 

it can be a very perplexing and upsetting condition. 

the truth of the matter is most men who experience this problem do not maintain long-term relationships. ultimately they are there go from relationship to relationship in search of newness or the woman leaves them because they can't take the emotional toll that being with a guy who can't come has on them. its a specially frustrating and hurtful when the man does just fine masturbating. 

without knowing more about the posters husband I can't give her a good feeling whether this is a deep-seated emotional problem or something he conditioned himself to. and even then without talking to him and getting some background information anything I say could be off the mark. Because a lot of times guys in these situations won't be honest with their mate about their experience and what's really going on inside and in their past. 

getting angry is one of the types of response people can have. The other is withdrawal. and another is seeking out new partners. 

none of the above really works well in a relationship.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

My H goes a long time.....but we like it. We don't think it's a drawback or a medical problem. We take an hour or two every nite! We WANT it to last a long time..."something this good, who wants to rush through?" 

But OP's H sounds like a jerk anyway. There is no room for "mad" in the bedroom. It sounds like OP wants to figure out a way to make it better for her. 

1. Just tell him "Either we use some lube, or we stop." Altho, it's the lube the helps it to take longer, less friction. But your comfort matters.

2. When you think you are done....not necessarily once you've cum, but when it starts getting old....offer to suck him to completion. (How can he turn that down?)

3. Make him the focus for awhile before you get yours...so maybe he'll be ready to get his. (Or closer to ready)

4. Read up on everything to make him orgasm...whether he is ready or not! 

5. Tie him down and MAKE him get off. (Getting yourself off in the process of course!) 

Does HE think he is taking too long? Like I said, some LIKE to take a long time, cuz it feels good, maybe it makes them feel more manly...lasting a long time. They don't see it as a detriment. If that is true, then your H may be resistant to seeking "help". On the contrary, he may think YOU need help. IF this is the case, then your help would be more ideas and more lube....whatever you need! 

Keep thinking, keep trying, something has to work out. At least you both WANT it! Just gotta find the right pace!


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

Having to go an hour and wanting to are different.


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## Quantmflux (Feb 6, 2013)

clipclop2 said:


> Having to go an hour and wanting to are different.


Not necessarily. Everyone defaults to "run to a doctor quick!" as soon as something doesn't match their personal experience or what they consider "normal" but the "human norm" isn't anywhere *near* as narrow as most people want to believe it is.

Too quick? doctor!

Too long? doctor!

Some people are just wired differently. I know that for me (at least one case) there is absolutely nothing wrong with my health. PIV has just always taken me a long time. A lot of it could be psychological too. I think it is for me in many cases (need to perform, other worries, trying to get her off, whatever) Masturbation absolutely re-wires both your brain and your sensitivity as well. In my case I'd never expect a woman to "go the distance" if she's not comfortable, obviously and that's the real issue the OP has - the lack of consideration. There's no reason you can't just "call it" and then go back for another round later, or do "other things" to finish up.

Fact is if this has *always* been how he is, I'm going to doubt he has a serious cardiovascular condition or type 2 diabetes that have never shown up on a checkup/physical/etc. And if he were on medication that caused it, OP would know. 

The actual problem, IMO, is his attitude about it. That's not acceptable and the anger is a bad sign.

Even if this *were* a medical condition that could be "magic pilled away", it wouldn't really be addressing how he reacted to it.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

*Re: Re: Sex takes too long, how to speed it up?*



clipclop2 said:


> Deejo, I'm afraid to say that delayed ejaculation also known as inhibited or retarded ejaculation is a sexual dysfunction the average man does not go very long without orgasm .
> 
> you may have been very hurt but I don't think you understand how hurtful this is a problem can do to a woman as well.
> 
> ...


I think you infer too much.

I understand very well, what a woman's needs and limitations are. I dont get angry when a woman cant have intercourse for over an hour, not remotely. And for clarity, the reference I made regarding my ex-wife, was to hand jobs ... not PIV. She had dyspareunia, so we didn't have PIV. And again ... I'm not talking about a hand job or blow job for an hour. 

I don't take any pleasure from harming my partner or the woman I love.

Sounds like you had a negative experience yourself.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

quite honestly why did you respond to this thread when your situation isn't even close? 

I have experience with this is very situation. I have done extensive research. your situation doesn't apply and I don't think that you responding me a whole lot of sense. So if I inferred much its because by responding the way that you did you put yourself in the OP's husband's situation. It doesn't apply then perhaps you could have been clear about it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

okay I'm looking my post to the guy before dijo. Because I'm really not certain of the point of it after rereading.

I don't see how you can say that if someone has always been a certain way that it rules out anything medical. 

and if its psychological well they make doctors for that too. 

his attitude is poor. but since he is not getting off and doesn't want to blame himself it's not unusual to deflect. it's not acceptable but it's not surprising when it happens either. 

it is quite possible that if there were a magic pill to resolve this problem that his attitude would be different. 

thing is you'll never know with your philosophy.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

*Re: Re: Sex takes too long, how to speed it up?*



clipclop2 said:


> quite honestly why did you respond to this thread when your situation isn't even close?
> 
> I have experience with this is very situation. I have done extensive research. your situation doesn't apply and I don't think that you responding me a whole lot of sense. So if I inferred much its because by responding the way that you did you put yourself in the OP's husband's situation. It doesn't apply then perhaps you could have been clear about it.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


My ex-wife isn't the only woman I've had sex with. My situation is very similar to the OP's husband, save for my pointed response to you regarding my ex, and as I mentioned, without the anger.

I presumed you had a similar experience to the OP. What was your outcome?

I CAN have an orgasm in under an hour. Sometimes depending upon circumstances I cannot. 

Wanted to let the OP know her circumstances aren't unique.

Hope her husband is willing to work with his wife to resolve the issue.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

OP didn't say her H can't get off..... she said it takes him a long time. In his mind....a long time may be a good thing. Why fix what ain't broken? 

He does seem insensitive to her needs tho...and that is the problem.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

OP is MIA?

NO woman can go more than maybe 25 minutes without lubrication. 2 hours would be so painful.

It probably feels good to him to have sex, but is not stimlating enough for him to cum. he probably has the start of ED.

But luckily for you...sex is mostly in the mind, not the penis. So try stuff:
wear kinky lingerie
talk dirty to him
move your pelvis around while he is slamming you for extra stimulation
buy a tiny vibrator to attach to the base of his shaft
play with his nipples as you pounds you. If he likes it, get really rough with them until he cums
reach around him and stimulate his anus, either with your finger of a small dildo
try restraining HIM. Sit him in a chair, tie him up, tease him mercilessly, then after he is rock hard, slide on top of his lap and do him up right
find if there is any role play that turns him on..get his mind working even before you touch his body


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

Much of what I said came from experience but a lot from reading and talking to others.

It used to be thought that 5% of men had this problem but it was probably under-reported. 

BTW, inhibited/delayed/retarded ejaculation are the terms for it. Anorgasmia is not being able at all but if you don't in 2 hours it is pretty much the same thing.

Thinking it is a good thing is a rationalization clueless people make. When a couple wants to conceive it is very upsetting.

The first thing is to recognize it as abnormal. The second is to be willing to address it. 

I have spoken with guys who chased this problem for years without resolve. They have more guts than most men. But still their wives and girlfriends end up leaving. It is very sad.

Other guys stop M and porn and end up OK after time. That time can vary from a couple of weeks to years. But they are dedicated to not contributing to the problem.

The psychological problems are a bear at times. 

Bottom line is the guy has to fix it. She can only be supportive. Often though it requires an ultimatum.


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## Pumpkin1317 (Sep 26, 2014)

Thanks for all of the input. It's good to get a man's perspective, and I appreciate the support from those who understand that it's hard to keep going after an hour or two. 

I've purchased a few things from a shop in private web site to help us both, and I have plenty of lingerie, so I could start wearing that more often. 

I'm not a talk dirty kind of girl unless I have a few drinks(I can barely write about this stuff on the forum!) , but I am up for the additional touching and alternatives to vaginal sex. I like the MA TV shows and movies where the sex is romantic and passionate. I was thinking that might be a good thing to watch with my husband. Do most guys like to watch that with their wives?

Actually we had a pretty good night last night. It was my favorite kind of night, spend time together watching a fun movie, and going up to bed after the kids are asleep. I prepared with lubricant ahead of time and while I still finished first, it was in the hour range before he was done. 

I'm hoping these suggestions will help. I'll start there and if we run into any more hurt feeling issues, I'm sure I'll be posting again. and looking into the other medical possibilities. I'll definitely be encouraging sex before we go out drinking with friends.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

He needs to stop. You joining in will at best provide a short boost. If he needs a lot of stimulation all around you will not be able to keep ramping it up.

As I said, this is HIS problem to solve.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

Wivibe, best damn 200 bucks you will spend. 6 bucks for coconut oil. 206 bucks well spent. Very well spent.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

Deejo said:


> Lay off the masturbation, lay off the porn, lay off the fatty foods, and the booze. Get a blood work up including testosterone panel.


wait a second, the BOOZE. what is left in life??


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

Pumpkin1317 said:


> I've purchased a few things from a shop in private web site to help us both, and I have plenty of lingerie, *so I could start wearing that more often. *
> 
> I like the MA TV shows and movies where the sex is romantic and passionate. I was thinking that might be a good thing to watch with my husband. Do most guys like to watch that with their wives?
> .


yes guys like to see sexy shows on tv. It gets their brains working.

And...that lingerie is doing nobody any good sitting in the drawer. Wear it OFTEN. Wear it to bed when he wants to get laid (there are types that have an open crotch, and easy access to the breasts with the movement of a strap or two). The change from being nude to being "mostly nude in a naughty way" will work on his brain too.


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

murphy5 said:


> yes guys like to see sexy shows on tv. It gets their brains working


...and for me at least, if my partner suggested it it would take it up about 10 notches.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

Normal guys are one thing. But without getting to the root cause of this guy's problem she is inviting herself down the rabbit hole of despair.

Nothing she does will be enough for long if at all. It will kill her spirit and self esteem. This is in part WHY many of these guys end up alone. The one without the problem tries to fix it and cannot all the while their belief in themselves dies. In this case when it doesn't work the guy knows inside he is the cause but he will let her experience that painful death rather than admit it. It will kill her and the marriage.

Please don't go that route as the first choice. You need more information to know if it is going to help or be another step in the death march.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening Pumpkin 1317
I'm bothered by " I have learned that if I say I can't keep going, then he gets really angry"

That's really bad. 

I am sometimes very slow but if my wife starts to get uncomfortable, she will tell me and we will switch to something else. If she is too tired to finish me, I never complain.

Delayed ejaculation is a pretty common problem. Like ED it is often more psychological that physical, but it can vary. Can he masturbate himself to orgasm quickly?

If it weren't for the 'getting angry' bit, I might suggest some things you could try, but honestly if he is like that, why bother?





Pumpkin1317 said:


> My husband and I have sex about twice a week, sometimes more, sometimes less. About half the time it takes him 1-2 hours to finish, and usually that happens when I am finished before he is. Then things get uncomfortable for me. I seem to dry out if I go first. We started using lubricant but he seems to be offended if I need to do that.
> 
> What can I do to help with that? If guys finish first, it's pretty much done for the woman. Also I just can't keep going after an hour or more, but I have learned that if I say I can't keep going, then he gets really angry. Some of the worst fights we've had have been over this type of situation.
> 
> Any advice to help us out with this?


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

richardsharpe said:


> If it weren't for the 'getting angry' bit, I might suggest some things you could try, but honestly if he is like that, why bother?


:iagree:

Getting angry shouldn't be part of a sexual encounter. Sex can be fun, loving, romantic, passionate, aggressive, gentle, silly...so many things but never rage-inducing or fear-inducing. If it is, something is very, very wrong. I would stop having sex if my partner got angry with me during it or angry with me about it afterward.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

norajane said:


> :iagree:
> 
> Getting angry shouldn't be part of a sexual encounter. Sex can be fun, loving, romantic, passionate, aggressive, gentle, silly...so many things but never rage-inducing or fear-inducing. If it is, something is very, very wrong. I would stop having sex if my partner got angry with me during it or angry with me about it afterward.


That's because you and your husband are reasonably accommodating spouses. After decades of disappointment, even the most even-keeled person can get angry. Not "afraid for your life" angry, but knitted-brow, grumpy face, "why the hell did I bother AGAIN when I knew what the outcome would be" angry. At yourself, at you gullibility, at a lot of things. 

That's what happens before you arrive at the final stage of the grieving process - acceptance.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Cletus said:


> That's because you and your husband are reasonably accommodating spouses. After decades of disappointment, even the most even-keeled person can get angry. Not "afraid for your life" angry, but knitted-brow, grumpy face, "why the hell did I bother AGAIN when I knew what the outcome would be" angry. At yourself, at you gullibility, at a lot of things.
> 
> That's what happens before you arrive at the final stage of the grieving process - acceptance.


I understand where you're coming from.

In OP's case, her H is getting "really angry" when she can't keep going (i.e., experiences pain) after an hour or more of PIV. She still gives it a try twice a week, though! 

I would never keep having sex if my SO got "really angry" if I told him to stop after an hour. Hell, I'd say stop long before then - pain is no fun, and constantly having sex with pain is a ridiculous expectation for any partner to have.

The more I think about it, the more I'd say Pumpkin has good reason to be "really angry" with her husband.


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## missthelove2013 (Sep 23, 2013)

Pumpkin1317 said:


> *I know if we've been out with friends and drinking , it takes longer*, but not sure that he has any medical problems. I always thought that would translate to not being able to perform, not being able to go for over an hour. Embarrassing to say but I let him try the "backdoor" recently and it helps, but I can't do that for long. I've heard of tightening products but I don't know if they really work.


this is called whiskey-****...and can most definitely be a problem
I am 46...I usually can go in 15 minutes...I can last an hour tops if she is not ready to quit...but if I have been drinking alot, I will NEVER cum...I will go on and on until I am exhausted...whiskey-****...

2 hours seems unusually long...im ASSuming its not 2 continuopus hours of piv sex...spend more initial time with the hand and mouth

or...agree to watch porn with him beforehand...and insist HE picks the porn...pay attention as the porn he picks is a telltale sign of what he likes...if the porn is filled with dirty talk, then do that...subtly act out what you watch...if the porn is GAY porn and a bunch of fat hairy duded butt-banging each other, well, then you have other problems...:scratchhead:


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