# Vasectomy and sex life



## ZDog377 (May 31, 2015)

Just one that I've noticed as of late. I know my sex life wasn't amazing before but meds have helped calm that down a little. Before I would at least get asked if I wanted a quickie or to do something but it seems after the vasectomy that has gone away. 

Has anyone ever been with a partner where a vasectomy seemed to kill the intimacy around sex? It seems like that now there is no chance of getting pregnant is has killed what little sex life we had left, even though we agreed on getting it done.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

My vasectomy had ZERO impact on our sex life. 





ZDog377 said:


> Just one that I've noticed as of late. I know my sex life wasn't amazing before but meds have helped calm that down a little. Before I would at least get asked if I wanted a quickie or to do something but it seems after the vasectomy that has gone away.
> 
> Has anyone ever been with a partner where a vasectomy seemed to kill the intimacy around sex? It seems like that now there is no chance of getting pregnant is has killed what little sex life we had left, even though we agreed on getting it done.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

ZDog377 said:


> Just one that I've noticed as of late. I know my sex life wasn't amazing before but meds have helped calm that down a little. Before I would at least get asked if I wanted a quickie or to do something but it seems after the vasectomy that has gone away.
> 
> Has anyone ever been with a partner where a vasectomy seemed to kill the intimacy around sex? It seems like that now there is no chance of getting pregnant is has killed what little sex life we had left, even though we agreed on getting it done.


How long has it been since the surgery? Is it possible your wife is afraid of hurting you because she overestimates how long it will be until you're healed?


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

MJJEAN said:


> ZDog377 said:
> 
> 
> > Just one that I've noticed as of late. I know my sex life wasn't amazing before but meds have helped calm that down a little. Before I would at least get asked if I wanted a quickie or to do something but it seems after the vasectomy that has gone away.
> ...


If your read his threads.. I don't think she's that nice to him, unfortunately.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*No ramifications whatsoever!

In fact, with the added security, it really just enhanced things!*


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

I read posts like MEMs and Arbs and think, ok might be the thing to do.

Then one guy has a horror story about cant shoot right anymore or doesnt feel right anymore its like DAMN!! Its that one bad review on the product you are sure to buy and everybody like it, but then there's this ONE guy with ONE horror story review.......


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## ZDog377 (May 31, 2015)

MJJEAN said:


> ZDog377 said:
> 
> 
> > Just one that I've noticed as of late. I know my sex life wasn't amazing before but meds have helped calm that down a little. Before I would at least get asked if I wanted a quickie or to do something but it seems after the vasectomy that has gone away.
> ...


It was in December and I was given the "shooting blanks" in early April I believe.


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## ZDog377 (May 31, 2015)

Middle of Everything said:


> I read posts like MEMs and Arbs and think, ok might be the thing to do.
> 
> Then one guy has a horror story about cant shoot right anymore or doesnt feel right anymore its like DAMN!! Its that one bad review on the product you are sure to buy and everybody like it, but then there's this ONE guy with ONE horror story review.......


Mine wasn't bad once you got over the mental aspect of it. I was kind of sore the first day or two but nothing Tylenol couldn't take care of. I waited until about a week after to do stuff with a condom on until I got the all clear. I feel the only issues I have now are from the bipolar meds I'm on.


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## snerg (Apr 10, 2013)

Sometime, the wife looses some mental/sexual attraction because her spouse is no longer fertile.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

The are reports out there of women losing attraction and esteem for men after they've gotten snipped. Some women no longer feel that a man is a virile, "real man" after he has has the procedure.

So there are some out there that react in that manner after a man has has a vasectomy.

But for every one of those there are many others where their sex life mproves and is much more care-free and spontaneous and with less anxiety than prior to the procedure.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Livvie said:


> If your read his threads.. I don't think she's that nice to him, unfortunately.


I know, but I was hoping maybe...



ZDog377 said:


> It was in December and I was given the "shooting blanks" in early April I believe.


Ok, so it's not that she's worried about you not being fully healed or that she's worried about pregnancy. 

I know a lot of guys who've had vasectomies, including my exH. Most were in their late 20's/early 30's. They all said their sex lives improved because they could be more spontaneous and neither they or their partners had that "what if..." worry of accidental pregnancy in the back of their minds.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

...


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

oldshirt said:


> The are reports out there of women losing attraction and esteem for men after they've gotten snipped. Some women no longer feel that a man is a virile, "real man" after he has has the procedure.
> 
> So there are some out there that react in that manner after a man has has a vasectomy.
> 
> But for every one of those there are many others where their sex life mproves and is much more care-free and spontaneous and with less anxiety than prior to the procedure.



Some people really do have a mental hang-up about their partner no longer being fertile. My ex-husband basically stopped thinking of me as a sexual woman after my hysterectomy. A friend of mine lost her breasts to cancer and also found that her then-husband was no longer interested in sex because she wasn't a 'real' woman anymore. Some people just have a very strong mental/emotional association between sexual desirability and fertility, or the appearance of it. But I also believe that sort of response towards a long-term partner is likely much more common in an already unhealthy marriage. 

My SO has no issues whatsoever with me being infertile, and it hasn't impacted our sex life at all as far as I can tell. He'd had a vasectomy years before we met, and it likewise wouldn't occur to me to see him as less virile because of that. Neither of us seems to be wired that way.


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## ZDog377 (May 31, 2015)

I asked her lad night if this was the case. I enjoy it because it feels better and I don't have to worry about putting something on. She of course denies it is an issue. She is working on many issues as of late, hopefully we can get through them. 

Part of me thought I was analyzing things too much but I wanted to ask around and see. She has said before that we are done having kids but she would like to be a surrogate one day....


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

We were both smokers, so she stayed off the pill. We ended up using prophylactics, but we had a failure, and our son was the result. My wife had two bad pregnancies in a row; With our daughter, she got gestational diabetes, and was at risk for pre-eclampsia. With our son, he was placenta previa (always said that the boy was so preoccupied, he would paint himself into a corner). Literally, she spent the last three months of the pregnancy in bed. Which led to me getting a vasectomy. I found that it improved our sex life as there was no stopping to roll one on.


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## Hoosier (May 17, 2011)

Its funny that you ask this question, because I have not had a vasectomy, but when married I considered one. My xwife ended up getting her tubes tied (already having a cesarian) so it was a non issue. But prior to that I questioned numerous men about their experience, (brother and two brother in laws had V's) and ALL were extremly pro! In the cases I talked with, the couples no longer wanted to worry about pregnancies and with the worry gone all had an uptick in their activity. 
I think it is what you make it, and believe the vasectomy is not your issue, but your wife is...... just guessing.

Since my divorce I have not dated any woman (I am 57) that was able to have children, if I did before the first encounter I would be snipped! 

Just sayin............


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## ruffneckred (May 11, 2016)

I had one, pain was more than expected, I went back to work on Monday after Friday surgery, job is fairly physical, so maybe that was it. Our reasoning was 1. get her off pill due to health issues 2. less invasive than tubal ligation. We had never used condoms as she has an inversion, it did not change our sex lives.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Between getting a V and hernia surgery around the same time, I was worried all the poking around down there was going to cause an issue (I actually got a V done at the same time as the hernia surgery on one side, and then got the other side done about 6 months later), but fortunately, everything works well, and removing the possibility of pregnancy / condoms was definitely a positive.

As others have mentioned, if your sex life was any bit problematic prior, that is probably the bigger issue.

Wondering, was your W 100% on board with the V? Maybe she still wanted additional kids and is now resentful?


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## hope4family (Sep 5, 2012)

Middle of Everything said:


> I read posts like MEMs and Arbs and think, ok might be the thing to do.
> 
> Then one guy has a horror story about cant shoot right anymore or doesnt feel right anymore its like DAMN!! Its that one bad review on the product you are sure to buy and everybody like it, but then there's this ONE guy with ONE horror story review.......


I wont be doing it. 

Saw first hand what happened to my BROTHER when the wrong cord gets ****. A theoretical surgery for nerve damage later he is still in pain management although it's not as bad. 

Nope, never. Saw it swell up to a melon. Yeah, my Dad had it done, my uncle had it done, both had no issues. I believe even my other brother had it done. Not me, not now, nor ever. If I had to do it to get sex i'd reply with a picture of what happens when it goes wrong and walk.


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## NickyT (Aug 14, 2017)

After he healed, it had no effect on our sex life. Years later when he chose to cheat, he also felt the freedom to not wear a condom. Idiot. That had a serious effect on our marriage.


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## davep1128 (Oct 3, 2017)

I’ve noticed the same thing. I want to have sex more but my wife seems to have slowed up because there won’t be a baby involved. 


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## Justin J (Oct 1, 2017)

I did not want vasectomy. My wife really did. She told me she was afraid of being pregnant again. I thought the vasectomy would rejuvenate our low sex life but as it turns out we have less sex now. I can't explain it. Good luck to you and if you figure it out please share


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## Holdingontoit (Mar 7, 2012)

Justin J said:


> I thought the vasectomy would rejuvenate our low sex life but as it turns out we have less sex now. I can't explain it.


She is not that into you. If you feel there are areas of yourself worth improving to become more attractive (to yourself), work on those. If you are happy with who you are but she isn't, then leave and find someone who appreciates you.


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