# Husband About to Cheat



## lolly2359 (Jul 20, 2015)

Hi All, thanks in advance for your honest replies and no judgement of my situation. 

My husband and I have been together for 10yrs + and married for just over 5 now. We have a son that is 2.5yrs old. 

I could always see that he was a flirt. Always very friendly to any girl that came his way. I always made it clear that I hated that. Just made me feel not very special. Always had a thing for still texting his ex's and became good friends with the girl at the corner store. Sent her 20 texts a day (his phone is on my plan so I can see). We used to get into huge arguments how he contacted these girls. Said that he hides it from me cos I get angry. So it's my fault. 

He also has a thing for porn. Yes, he's a normal guy and all, but still does not make me feel special. Yes, I have low self esteem, but flirting with others does not help. 

Fast forward until about two years ago. So one day he used my laptop and I could see how he was chatting with girls on adult websites. Profile and all. Seeking discreet encounters. On a couple occasions he nearly met with someone. 

Not long ago I walked in on him wanking to a profile and he was like OH! He came to me and said that he thinks he has a problem and that maybe we should go to counseling for it. We had a big talk about it all and he said that I'm still as special to him as when he met me. Which was very important to me as he wants child number 2. 

He does not have facebook because of all this and now has Linked in, but doesn't know I know. He added an ex of about 15 yrs + ago (from high school). I guessed his password and can see what is going on. They messaged about whats happened over the last 15yrs. She got married, 2 children and now divorced - her husband cheated on her. They met once for coffee. He asked her to our house for coffee, but she declined as she thought he wanted more and said it wasn't fair to me. So no more meetings. Just chat. 

Now out of the blue she writes to him she has a proposition for him. Once in a lifetime on a certain date (as he lives interstate). Her bf and her have a very open kinky sexual relationship. Her bf is willing to drop her off (at my house) and they do it while her bf waits outside. She also offered that he could watch or do a threesome. 

So.... my husband replies YES and asks the rules. She says no kissing, max 1hr and she will leave as soon as he cums and it may happen every few months when the bf is down here. 

So he would have to find a sitter for our son (his sister). So knowing that I know what would you do, I know the date, time and place. 

Thanks if you made it to the end


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## DayOne (Sep 19, 2014)

*T*hink you'*r*e *o*nly going to make this worse the *l*onger it *l*asts...


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## thread the needle (May 4, 2015)

File for divorce


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Regardless of whether or not you divorce after this, you're going to regret not putting a stop to this encounter.


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## Tango in Triple Time (Jul 14, 2015)

I have nothing to offer you. You are willing to share your husband with multiple women. You don't really seem upset about it, only that it doesn't make you feel special. That is about the only part of your whole post to which I can relate.

Sure he tells you you are special to him. He figured out that's all it takes to keep you happy. Do yourself and your child a favor and raise your standards, respect yourself. He sure doesn't. 

What are you getting out of this relationship?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

DayOne said:


> *T*hink you'*r*e *o*nly going to make this worse the *l*onger it *l*asts...


Ha!


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

He's never going to stop w/ this bullsh*t.

Just file for divorce.

Easiest thread ever.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

File for divorce, do NOT have a kid with this man. He has absolutely zero respect for you, your marriage or family. His flirting, his texting etc is all cheating. When he receives the papers tell him why. You deserve better than this.


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## Roselyn (Sep 19, 2010)

See a divorce attorney. You will eventually lose your mind in this relationship.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Wow, just wow...I can't believe this stuff really happens.

I guess you could take the low road and bang the boyfriend while he waits out in the car, or due the mature thing and kick your husband out and file for divorce. And stop fooling yourself, if you think he "almost met" some of these women for casual encounters you are delusional. None of us wants to believe our spouse could cheat on us like that, we want to believe what they say, but your husband has established a pattern of lies and deceit, you need to detach emotionally and look at the facts and history.

It sucks you have to go thru this, but your life will get better once he's gone. And please get yourself tested for STD's.


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## Froggi (Sep 10, 2014)

lolly2359 said:


> Hi All, thanks in advance for your honest replies and no judgement of my situation.
> 
> My husband and I have been together for 10yrs + and married for just over 5 now. We have a son that is 2.5yrs old.
> 
> ...




Yeah he has a problem all right. He is an immature person who does not give a crap about his wife or his marriage.


Get a lawyer. Stick a fork in the marriage. It is done.


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

Join them


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## Froggi (Sep 10, 2014)

He is vile. Just...yuck.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Make it even kinkier.

Contact the bf and tell him the idea makes you hot and while your husband is doing his gf, you will do him.

Or, divorce.

The first option is far more poetic but the second will keep you clean of conscience.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lolly2359 (Jul 20, 2015)

Thanks everyone for your replies. It's been a busy week. 

Just in case I wasn't clear, cheating is a definite deal breaker. He's always been one to talk down of people who cheat or have bad morals. 

This week I've been looking him in a whole different light. To know that he's in the other room messaging her makes me sick to the stomach. He's pretty daring about it too. Doing it full on when I'm around. I could see he was messaging her a long story about what he wanted to 'do' to her. I went down to the other side of the house to see where he was. He was in the toilet, messaging her in there. I surprised him when he came out, but didn't say anything. 

So I'm planning to surprise him on the day. He's not working and I am. So I'll just have to come home sick and see my worst nightmare come true.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Why don't you have divorce papers with you as well?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lolly2359 (Jul 20, 2015)

Thats a thought. My mum does work for a lawyers office.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Shock and awe!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

Walk in with a video camera recording.

"Hi, don't mind me, just capturing the moment, carry on."


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## SouthernBelle822 (Jul 8, 2015)

Personally, I like the combination of ideas: walking in unexpectedly during the encounter with a video camera in one hand and divorce papers in the other! This man has no respect for you and no loyalty to the commitment he made to you by becoming your spouse and the father of your child, which is truly awful. He even knows that you're aware of his history of flirting with other women while married and is still continuing to do it! I think it will take something extremely drastic, humiliating, and undeniable to finally get his attention. This sounds like the kind of situation where you'll be looking over your shoulder and feeling like somebody's last choice for the rest of your life, and you deserve so much better than that.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Your husband isn't "about to cheat". He's been cheating the whole time. You said cheating is a deal breaker, but you've allowed it all this time, so he has become bolder and bolder.

Either accept an open marriage or divorce him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

First, divorce him. You will *never* be able to trust him, so why bother trying to maintain a marriage where there is no trust.

2nd, work on your self-esteem. Until you are perfectly happy to live as a single person--able to love yourself and the time you spend alone so much that you will only give it up for your child or someone REALLY special--you are just a 2nd bad marriage waiting to happen.

Get counseling, alone. Stay in it as long as you can--even just a few times a year--as you develop into a happy person who loves herself. Set boundaries with this scumbag about contact between you (go through lawyers if he can't respect those boundaries) and limit it to child-care issues.

Good luck.


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