# too much at once



## ctierney1983 (Mar 10, 2013)

I have been married 9 years and have 3 beautiful children. My husband recently told me he is not in love anymore and has been seeing someone else. He has left me and the kids and claimed for a while he was helping the guys at work. He just told me its gotten serious and he doesn't even want to make it work. Ive tried to not cry in front of the kids, but it is so hard. He left without giving them an explanation. She is a woman who is almost his mom age, has 3 children(one of which is having problems of her own) and is an all around mess. 

How do I come to terms this is all happening, and still stay strong? I just want to crawl up in bed and not come out. I feel so unloved to be left for a woman with so many issues, while I have been there for him, through everything. He says I am not who he married, but its the exact opposite. What do I do to stay strong and be the bigger person?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Sorry to hear what you are going through. I know it's hard.

The first think you should do is to get the book "Surviving an Affair" by Dr. Harley. It will tell you what you need to do and give you lots of info you need. The book is a quick read.

He is 100% responsible for chosing to have an affair.

He is also 50% responsible for the state your marriage was in before the affair. If he was unhappy he was obligated to tell you and get you to work on inproving the marriage.

Is he living with this other woman? Is she married?

Have you disclosed the affair yet to his family and her family? This puts pressure on the affair and will hopefully end it.


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