# My wife is having virtual, emotional affairs. Help!



## broken1477 (Jun 4, 2013)

Help.

My wife and I have been married for 12 years and we have two children. 

Roughly 9 months ago, I accessed my wife's email to confirm a virtual magazine subscription for her. I was devastated to find that she had been having has been having emotional, graphic, romantic, cybersex relationships with 3-4 different men. I confronted her about it, and she said that she would end them, that she loved me and it was just harmless fun. I disagreed, but I decided to give her another chance.

Yesterday, I came home and found a previously unknown email account belonging to my wife open on our computer. I perused the inbox and sent items and discovered that she has been having more of these virtual relationships, this time with 19 new and different men. This time, I saw pictures exchanged that contained full nudity, lingerie, etc. I was only able to stomach reviewing the last 2 months. I immediately confronted her about it, and she has given me several excuses and explanations that she is not comfortable with aging or her physical appearance, she did this to feel pretty, to feel wanted, to feel sexy, etc.

I must admit, that over the last 2 years, I have not been as physically attentive as I was during the first decade of our union. I have been working 50-60 hour work weeks as the sole supporter our family and I have some body image self-esteem issues of my own. She immediately assured me that it was not my fault, and that she was to blame. 

I don't know how to process the feelings I am experiencing. I feel utterly betrayed. I feel angry, ashamed and inadequate. I feel cornered, like I need to take action. I want to believe that she will cease the relationships, like she says, but this is not the first time it has happened. I have written a draft to the men she has been communicating with. this is what it says:

Hello, gentlemen, my name is xxMyNamexx,

It has come to my attention that my wife, xxHerNamexx, has been exchanging correspondence of a romantic, graphic and/or sexual nature with all of you. While I have absolutely no issues with my wife maintaining platonic relationships with men, certanly you can understand I have a problem with this.

I must admit, that my first instinct was to seek each of you out and retaliate, and indeed, were we not separated geographically and were you not afforded the anonymity of the internet, possibly I would have done just that. As I pondered further, however, I came to the realization that perhaps you all were not aware she was married. Giving each of you the benefit of the doubt, I can only hope that this was the case. Any man who seeks to tear apart a family for the sake of his libido is disgusting.

I am writing this email to you for two simple purposes: 1.) To inform you that xxHerNamexx is married, to me, and has been for 12 years, and 2.) To ascertain the intentions of each of you regarding a continued virtual relationship with my wife, as this will not be acceptable and I will be forced to take action.

If each of you cannot respect the incredible damage that our marriage has suffered or do not care about the impact this has had on me, then I ask you to consider our childeren. I will take all possible measures to ensure my children do not grow up in a broken home. I only ask that each of you do the right thing and cease and desist all contact with my wife. 

I would appreciate a prompt response from each of you so that I may take the necessary steps to ensure the security and longevity of my children and family.

Regards,

xxMyNamexx


Am I a fool for wanting to save our marriage? Is it beyond repair? Should I send this email? She will certainly claim I violated her privacy. Any and all opinions and advice would be considered and appreciated. Has anyone else gone through this?

-Broken


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

I wouldn't send that message. It sounds too weak. They will do nothing but laugh it off and possibly contact her and belittle you even worse behind your back. If you must send something like this, it needs to be to the point. She is married. No further contact is to exist and this ends now! (or something to that point). It would be better coming from her, as this looks like you trying to butt in and control. If you could find out their relationship status, I would send it to their wife/ gf (as that is how things like this get ended).

How do you know it is just online related and hasn't gone physical with any of them?


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## broken1477 (Jun 4, 2013)

Squeakr said:


> I wouldn't send that message. It sounds to weak. They will do nothing but laugh it off and possibly contact her and belittle you even worse behind your back. If you must send something like this, it needs to be to the point. She is married. No further contact is to exist and this ends now! (or something to that point). It would be better coming from her, as this looks like you trying to butt in and control. If you could find out their relationship status, I would send it to their wife/ gf (as that is how things like this get ended).
> 
> How do you know it is just online related and hasn't gone physical with any of them?


I can't be completely certain, but we have only one vehicle, and I have to take it to work. I come home at random and she is always here and never has herself made up or hair done, etc. Our children are home at 3pm and spend a lot of time indoors and with her.

If I don't send this, how can I be certain she has done so?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Do what you need to do for yourself, but your email is futile. The problem exists entirely in your own home. Your wife is actively seeking out virtual playmates, and as much as you might want to crush them all, it will never happen. She'll find a way to find more. Focus your efforts on HER, why she's doing what she's doing, and how to monitor what she's doing. 

Of the 19 guys... Most will likely laugh it off. Some will take it as a challenge. Some will ignore. But few will run away hiding. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

She went from 4-5 then to 19!!? And she's met none of them...hmmm?


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

broken1477 said:


> I can't be completely certain, but we have only one vehicle, and I have to take it to work. I come home at random and she is always here and never has herself made up or hair done, etc. Our children are home at 3pm and spend a lot of time indoors and with her.
> 
> If I don't send this, how can I be certain she has done so?


They could come see her. As to never being done up, then the other men would be fine with that, as that is what they were used to getting online as well. They weren't in for the dresses, nice clothes, and makeup, that is not what they were hoping to see (or not see as the case may be).

I think that their is more to this than you know.


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## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

Email all of them as your wife and confess that "those pictures" aren't actually yours but that you got them from a website. Then say you've developed feelings for them but have to confess that you have a penis. Ask if the being a man thing is a problem. They will go away.


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## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

Also hide some VARs around the house and install a keylogger on the computer.


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## DavidWYoung (Feb 3, 2012)

You have a self image problem, yes that would be your wife.

1. She does not LOVE you even a little bit.
2. She does not RESPECT you and your hard work ONE LITTLE BIT.
3. She does not care about the family, the marriage, the kids or you.
4. She is a CHEATER and will always be a cheater.

This is what you are putting up with, STOP IT!Life is too short for this BS. Start working out, talk to someone about your doubts about yourself, talk to a lawyer about the best way for you to end the marriage on your terms and start your new life. I know it looks hard but not half as hard as putting up with her BS!
Just my 2 cents David


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## Tiberius (Mar 22, 2012)

I want to ask the OP, while you are working hard long hours to keep your family and your kids are away till 3.30, what does your wife do apart from having these inaproppriate cyber relationeships?
Do you come home to a clean house, dinner ready? The laundry all done?
The problem are not the men, the problem is with your wife.


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## CEL (May 7, 2013)

Okay OP I am going to say some harsh things that may upset you please understand I do want what is best for you, I would want these things said to me. First reach down the front of your pants and you should eventually feel two fleshy sacks grab a hold of them. Your wife betrayed your love. Your wife betrayed her vows. Your violated your marriage. Your wife betrayed your trust. And you want to send some dish water weak azz email to the men that have been spanking you meat to you women!!! YOU ANGRY YET!!! Because you should be the men did nothing wrong your wife is the damn problem. Now lets talk about how you fix this before she starts doing gang bangs in your bed because the way this is going that is next and you better understand that.


Where you went wrong

1. You are trying to take some of the blame for this. DON'T this was her decision not matter how crappy the marriage SHE decided to step out, not you.

2. You rug swept the first one. No consequences just a honey please don't do that like you caught her putting bleach on your colored clothes. This was your screw up so you should own up to it but this does not forgive her doing it again.

3. You stopped reading the evidence you now have no idea how far it went. Did they meet? Did she talk bad about you? How vulgar was she?


Where do we go from here

1. You get all the evidence and you save it. If she deleted it then well move on to number two.

2. She sits down and makes a timeline of when and where and what. Tell her you are going to get a polygraph to verify the truth of the matter as since she has LIED to you over and over again her word means NOTHING. Whether you decide the poly or not tell her so you get at least close to the truth. I would go with the poly tho as that is really your only hope of finding out if it went physical.

3. She has to write a No Contact letter to all the guys. You get to watch it get written and sent to insure it gets done. Again do NOT take her word for anything she has forfeited her right to trust she has betrayed you over and over if you take her word that the sky is blue then you are being a chump.

4. No more computer for her. This is adamant if she has shown she has no regard for you or her marriage she loses the right to continue to do this crap. Change cell phone to old with no camera and new number.

5. STD test this is to drive home the point that SHE BETRAYED YOUR TRUST. SHE IS THE ONE AT FAULT NOT YOU.

6. She scheduled individual counseling for herself.

7. She schedules marriage counseling for both of you. Now if the marriage is not great then you own up to your 50 percent but nothing excuses her infidelity. After all when you are surfing the net how are you going to feel when you see one of her pictures?


The most important this is to reclaim you self respect. She has shown no remorse, no guilt, no shame otherwise she would not of done it again right after being caught! Not only that but escalated it you need to reclaim you rights as a human being to be treated fairly. Keep posting as the people on here can help you get a better marriage out of this or at least bust her b*ll shyte.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Squeakr said:


> I wouldn't send that message. It sounds too weak. They will do nothing but laugh it off and possibly contact her and belittle you even worse behind your back. If you must send something like this, it needs to be to the point. She is married. No further contact is to exist and this ends now! (or something to that point). It would be better coming from her, as this looks like you trying to butt in and control. If you could find out their relationship status, I would send it to their wife/ gf (as that is how things like this get ended).
> 
> How do you know it is just online related and hasn't gone physical with any of them?


It's too nice and too long.

My email would be
"Listen up you xxxxs! I am the husband of mywife. I am upset with her for this cheating but I am angry with you. In fact I'm fxxxxxx furious with you. Here's what's happening. You are on Cheaterville.com. sucks to be you, dummy!"
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## awake1 (Jan 29, 2013)

Some things to keep in mind with my own similar story to yours: 

My wifes PA cheating started with EAs. We only have 1 car, the kids were home after 3. Don't worry, they'll figure out how to do it.

Guess what? With women like that it can be the neighbor, the pool boy, the guy at the convenience store. 

My fww was making plans to meet a guy two states away. 

They are not looking for a specific man, they are looking for ANY man with opportunity. Uglier than you, poorer than you. Doesn't mater so long as he's different. 

From all the stories i've read, the chances of her hainge at LEAST 1 PA after so many EAs is really high. It's not certain, but pretty darn close imo. Someone with so many EAs doesn't care about you or the kids. Imagine the time you need to take away from daily duties to see to all that? In addition, someone so selfish would have no hesitation having sex with the FIRST guy to come along that isn't you. There's a good chance a PA isn't with ANY of those EA guys. It's probably someone in left field. 


I'd kick her out. If that isn't possible, ignore her. Start working out. Going out. Take care of yourself and your kids. Talk to old friends. 

The Email is weak and worthless. If she wants all she needs to do is contact the guy and he'll talk to her. 

Your wife sounds like mine. Prepare yourself for a world of hurt, cause her train is coming down those tracks and another nice guy is about to bite the dust. I would expect TT followed by a lot of soul searching on your part.

Speaking of please read no more mr nice guy by dr glover (please please please please read it.) There's PDFs floating around online. Also read married man sex life by athol kay.


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

Don't send that email! It's weak and sorta begging. Most of the OM will just laugh and maybe frame the note along with her pics. 

You should take time to find out who they are and send an email to their wives. I like OVid's idea and Matt Matt's too. They are much better than yours (no offense)


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

walkonmars said:


> Don't send that email! It's weak and sorta begging. Most of the OM will just laugh and maybe frame the note along with her pics.
> 
> You should take time to find out who they are and send an email to their wives. I like OVid's idea and Matt Matt's too. They are much better than yours (no offense)


Ah! But I have the advantage of having 25 years as a writer who has to squash as much content into as few a words as possible.

Also, I do not have the emotional involvement and investment as the OP has. He obviously loves his wife very much.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

Forget the letter, don't contact any of those losers. If you can find out if any og them is commited/married and expose them to thier betrayed ones.

Demand NC standar letters to those OMs.
Demand full transparence from now on.
Demand a full disclosure to your satisfaction, when it started, how she went underground...
Demand her to get specialized IC. She's hooked up on drugs. Yeah, this stuff is highly addictive as you already could see.
Demand her to get a job so you can slow down.
Even if you are sure it never went hysical pretend you don't believe her, demand an STD test.

On her back keylog the PC, spyware on the phone. Also check the phone bill and get a VAR is you can prove phone contact.

Your wife is a serious addict, a serial cheater. Make it very serious, don't rugsweep it like the other time. Don't let her minimize again.
Tell her she's on probation, she has to help you get past it and also become a safe partenr again. She has to prove you. Tell her she's the one to fix this, there're tons of advive a support out there.


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## Dread Pirate Roberts (May 22, 2012)

After the last episode with my wife, that led me to file, I simply sent the two guys a group text telling them to come on down, pack up her sh!t and take her, but they might have to arm wrestle to determine who gets her, as she was playing them both.

Yes, probably somewhat juvenile, but it did make me feel better, and take the action I should've taken a while back.

As Acabado above said, this is an addiction. Just from my experience, unless she is 100% committed to reforming, it's a losing battle. And, it's going to be one hell of an effort on your part to both forgive, and verify.

Good luck to you,

DPR


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

What awake said.

Also my usual:

Sony VAR ICDPX312. Dont settle for less and no I dont have stock in Sony. Hide it near where she talks. I have 15ish cheating wives under my belt here now with them. Credit to RDMU who put me onto them.


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

Am I the only one to think that with 19 different guys at once, none of them can mean very much to her?

It seems more akin to a porn habit than to cheating.

Look at her phone records to see if she is texting or calling any phone numbers frequently or at unusual times. Does she ever talk with any of them on her phone?

What is the content of the emails? Strictly sexual? I love you's? Plans to meet up?

Is it 19 guys at once or that's how many you found going back over a long period of time?

Where are the guys located and how is she meeting them (how do they first establish contact)? If they are local, there is going to be the possibility that they are hooking up.


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

Maybe she's working? Each of the 19 sends her $100 that makes it $1900? She can string them along and work her magic to get more money.


But really, she's sick. Hope you are starting to protect yourself and your kids. Protect your finances and assets. It'll suck if she ends up with them.


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

Forget contacting all of her partners in cyberland---they are just meaningless faces for you

YOUR BEEF IS WITH YOUR WIFE---AND ONLY YOUR WIFE---it she who you took vows with.

Why is it she has all this time to hook-up with the over 20 men, she has had EA's with----if she does not work, what else does she do---does she take complete care of the house---does she have any hobbies---what does she do with her time---BESIDES CONTACT MEN

I will tell you one thing, if she is home, and you have a gardner/poolman/or anyone else coming to your house---you had better find out if she hasn't been getting physical with them

This is continuing, cuz you are allowing it----If you are gonna R, with her----then BOUNDARIES, with HARSH CONSEQUENCES MUST GO INTO EFFECT, YESTERDAY

No more social websites whatsoever, in fact maybe no computer at all for her would be best---get her a cellphone---THAT CAN ONLY MAKE CALLS----nothing else

Put all marital monies in an acct., with only your name on it----allow her one and only one joint CC, with you.

Time for her to start looking into a job

Make her sign a POST--NUP----and no matter what, for the time being---no lovey--dovey, and no mr. nice-guy---in fact maybe she needs to leave the marital bedroom, for a while

You are out there working your butt off, for this family---its time she either grew up, took responsibility, or her alternative would be to face D.

As far as her screwing around on you---she has to be accountable, and do whatever you need to have done, to help you heal, from all this crap, she is putting you thru


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

> While I have absolutely no issues with my wife maintaining platonic relationships with men, certanly you can understand I have a problem with this.


When dealing with predatory people, trying to appear fair and reasonable to them is just a big joke. Don't even waste your time.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

Trying to keep the wife from chasing other men by chasing away the other men is like trying to cure alcoholism by forcing closure of the neighborhood liquor store. First many, and probably the majority, of men don't care if your wife is not loyal. If fact, and as bad as it sounds, a married woman is a good way to "cut to the chase" . They come already primed and expect to be bedded.
There a thousands of guys looking for disloyal women. Bottom line is you can't stop your wife by restricting the inventory.


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## broken1477 (Jun 4, 2013)

So I put the hammer down, hard.

Demanded a lot of the things suggested here.

Said she has no problem not contacting them again, but won't send a cease and desist email, because she already hurt me, she doesn't need to hurt a bunch of other people, too.

She states she isn't going to become a prisoner in our own home, and that if I want to treat her like a prisoner, she is leaving.

For the sake of our children, I have allowed her to stay under the condition that if she contacts them again, it is over, no questions asked.

I have secretly placed monitoring software on her phone, and keyloggers on all of our computers. So far there has been nothing even remotely questionable. She does I have access to all her email accounts due to the keylogger and I have been checking them several times a day. If she continues, I will catch her.

I have researched divorce laws where I live and she would not qualify for alimony. I would happily pay the child support ordered if it came to that.

I have decided if she so much as bats an eyelash at any other man, virtual or real, she is out, and she knows it.

I am not going to let this event define me, our children, or our relationship. I am not going to go hiding things around the house, etc. I don't trust her, now. If she wants to continue this nonsense, nothing I can say or do will stop her, so what's the point? She can go.

I did, however, program her primary, offending, email account into my phone.

I drafted a letter to all 19 of her men to be that reads quite differently. If I detect the hint of unfaithfulness, my thumb hits send.

It details how I want to move forward with our relationship, but need to let them know that I haven't been truthful with them, and that I am, in fact, was born a man.

That should send them running.

Thanks for all the advice.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

broken1477 said:


> So I put the hammer down, hard.
> 
> 
> She states she isn't going to become a prisoner in our own home, and that if I want to treat her like a prisoner, she is leaving.
> ...


Good youre not passing out a lot of options like halloween candy. Like my uncle said, "when she married, she gave up the freedom to go sashaying around other men." If she can't quit, give her freedom to go at it full blast while paying her own freight.


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

What???

She won't send a cease and desist email, because she already hurt me, she doesn't need to hurt a bunch of other people, too. She is married to you. She places the feelings of her other guy friends above the feelings to make you feel safe. What is wrong with this picture? Her response is absolutely unbelievable.


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## awake1 (Jan 29, 2013)

broken1477 said:


> So I put the hammer down, hard.
> 
> Demanded a lot of the things suggested here.
> 
> ...


Have you also checked to see if there was any evidence of physical? I'd schedule a polygraph and prepare for a parking lot confession. 

Many cheaters stop when caught (at least temporarily) but feel it does no good to let you know all they've done.


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## CEL (May 7, 2013)

broken1477 said:


> So I put the hammer down, hard.
> 
> Demanded a lot of the things suggested here.
> 
> Said she has no problem not contacting them again, but won't send a cease and desist email, because she already hurt me, she doesn't need to hurt a bunch of other people, too.


*So the fact that this would make you feel better does not count. Only the fact that she does not want to hurt them.*



broken1477 said:


> She states she isn't going to become a prisoner in our own home, and that if I want to treat her like a prisoner, she is leaving.


*No consequences equals no change. She is unwilling to face anything for her actions basically she says she is not going to do it any longer just like last time and you should just trust her. Because she is so trust worthy. *



broken1477 said:


> For the sake of our children, I have allowed her to stay under the condition that if she contacts them again, it is over, no questions asked.
> 
> I have secretly placed monitoring software on her phone, and keyloggers on all of our computers. So far there has been nothing even remotely questionable. She does I have access to all her email accounts due to the keylogger and I have been checking them several times a day. If she continues, I will catch her.


*You will need them she is going to start doing it again and then she is going to call you bluff.*



broken1477 said:


> I have researched divorce laws where I live and she would not qualify for alimony. I would happily pay the child support ordered if it came to that.
> 
> I have decided if she so much as bats an eyelash at any other man, virtual or real, she is out, and she knows it.


*Really why would she believe this? She has done this twice and you have done nothing your credibility is very low with her. Right now she probalby thinks and rightly so she can do anything she wants with NO consequences. I mean you did nothing but make empty threats when you wanted her to do any kind of lifting she just refused and threatened you with leaving. You are kidding yourself if you think she will stop.*



broken1477 said:


> I am not going to let this event define me, our children, or our relationship. I am not going to go hiding things around the house, etc. I don't trust her, now. If she wants to continue this nonsense, nothing I can say or do will stop her, so what's the point? She can go.


*This will define you are you are going to be doing all the heavy lifting and checking on her. She is doing nothing to restore you trust so you may never trust her again. She is in the negative as far as trust goes, you will resent her for winning this argument for the rest of your marriage.*



broken1477 said:


> did, however, program her primary, offending, email account into my phone.


*Good again you will need it. *



broken1477 said:


> drafted a letter to all 19 of her men to be that reads quite differently. If I detect the hint of unfaithfulness, my thumb hits send.
> 
> It details how I want to move forward with our relationship, but need to let them know that I haven't been truthful with them, and that I am, in fact, was born a man.
> 
> That should send them running.


LOL this is funny and good but really you will probably be back and next time it will be worse you did better than when she first got caught but you still will not make her face any consequences you still treat her as if she is worth trusting when she was getting guys off with pictures and text. She breaks you trust. Betrays your love. Betrays her vows. Betrays your family. Lies to you over and over again. And you do essentially nothing but confront her and then back down. Good luck you are going to need it.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

I think I read a post here where the woman would have online EAs and also hooks up locally from a different account. OP, install a keylogger on the computer(don't tell her). She might have other accounts


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

> Said she has no problem not contacting them again, but won't send a cease and desist email, because she already hurt me, she doesn't need to hurt a bunch of other people, too.


Ask her to leave immediately and expose to her family why you kicked her out. Help her pack the bags. Be angry.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Make her send the letter. You are destroying any chance of saving the marriage by being weak and compromising yourself


> Said she has no problem not contacting them again, but won't send a cease and desist email, *because she already hurt me*, she doesn't need to hurt a bunch of other people, too.
> 
> She states she isn't going to become a prisoner in our own home, and that if I want to treat her like a prisoner, she is leaving.


This woman has entitlement problems. You need to draw the line in the sand.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Keep monitoring her.


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## azteca1986 (Mar 17, 2013)

broken1477 said:


> Said she has no problem not contacting them again, but won't send a cease and desist email, because she already hurt me, she doesn't need to hurt a bunch of other people, too.


Despite her phrasing, this comes across as her being okay with hurting you but not her numerous affair partners. Not good enough.

The good news is that she is willing to go no contect with them. So...



> I drafted a letter to all 19 of her men to be that reads quite differently. If I detect the hint of unfaithfulness, my thumb hits send.
> 
> It details how I want to move forward with our relationship, but need to let them know that I haven't been truthful with them, and that I am, in fact, was born a man.
> 
> That should send them running.


Send it anyway.  Maybe not from her email (might have legal repercussions) but one that is very similar. After all, "she has no problem not contacting them again". Keep her to her word and burn her bridges for her. As I see it, as her husband, it's your duty.

You did pretty well on the whole. Well done mate.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

Your W sounds disturbed to me. Her actions are not at all normal. Her reactions to you, esp. the bit about not hurting the army of men she's been electronically cheating with, indicate a 'different' take on reality.

If I were you, I would demand that she see a therapist and be totally honest about what she has been doing.


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## broken1477 (Jun 4, 2013)

warlock07 said:


> I think I read a post here where the woman would have online EAs and also hooks up locally from a different account. OP, install a keylogger on the computer(don't tell her). She might have other accounts


Already done.


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## broken1477 (Jun 4, 2013)

alte Dame said:


> Your W sounds disturbed to me. Her actions are not at all normal. Her reactions to you, esp. the bit about not hurting the army of men she's been electronically cheating with, indicate a 'different' take on reality.
> 
> If I were you, I would demand that she see a therapist and be totally honest about what she has been doing.


Yeah...no.

I am through with it. If it happens again she is out. I have enough to worry about providing for my family and dealing with my own problems. If I see her put some effort into recognizing and reconciling her issues while we work to repair our issues, then says to me: "I have a problem, and I want help." then okay. Otherwise, they can have her, I will pack her bags.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

broken1477 said:


> Yeah...no.
> 
> I am through with it. If it happens again she is out. I have enough to worry about providing for my family and dealing with my own problems. If I see her put some effort into recognizing and reconciling her issues while we work to repair our issues, then says to me: "I have a problem, and I want help." then okay. Otherwise, they can have her, I will pack her bags.


Well, there you go. Another solution that I can completely get on board with.


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