# Do you shush your husband?



## ladymisato (Aug 5, 2014)

Do you ever shush your husband? I got into the practice of doing this many years ago and it made a huge difference for us.

I was reminded of this after I came across a delightful blog post. He related a fight with his wife:



> During the trip I thought long and hard about how I had forgotten my own advice about being open and flexible to her will and showing the love and reverence that I always felt by being calm and ready to change direction when she wanted me to. I thought about how I could better prevent this type of thing from continuing to happen, and I remembered something I had read once about a marriage counselor who was not experiencing great success in her job and had a couple come in that just could not stop fighting.
> 
> The counselor decided to try a radical new approach. Her advice was for the wife to simply put a band aid on hubbie’s mouth when they fought and he would then remember to be silent. He could not speak again until she came and removed it. Everyone thought it was a crazy idea and that it wouldn’t work. Even though the counselor never let on that she had her doubts. But as their relationship was just so tattered and close to the end, and little else had worked for them or any other couples, they tried it.
> 
> The next time they met, the couple were all smiles and the simple “Hush up hubby, your woman is speaking” advice had saved their marriage! The first time they did it, they both started laughing and the fight ended. The next couple of times the silliness had worn off a little but they were both happy and hubby obeyed the rules and the whole situation d-escalated. This silly little example of defining just who was in charge had simplified everything.


(More of my own thoughts.)


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I see you're here again trying to drive traffic to your site to sell you book.

You have your husband crawl on the floor to show his submissiveness to you too. Most people will not buy into your nonsense.


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## Miss Independent (Mar 24, 2014)

😒😒😒😒


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

:wtf:

If I tried to put a band-aid over my SO's mouth (especially in public) that would likely be the last time I ever saw him.

What self-respecting man would allow that?

For the record, "shushing" people seems dismissive and disrespectful.


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## ladymisato (Aug 5, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> I see you're here again trying to drive traffic to your site to sell you book.


How do you sell something that is free?


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## ladymisato (Aug 5, 2014)

happy as a clam said:


> or the record, "shushing" people seems dismissive and disrespectful.


This is a common misconception.

In fact, though, it can be done in a very playful and loving manner as the quote above describes.

Of course, it can also be done in a dismissive and disrespectful manner.

The choice is yours.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

A ball gag and duct tape for my ex-wife may have helped, mostly because we'd have divorced much sooner and we'd have both been happier.

We rarely shush each other, but neither of us would tolerate frequent censorship. OP, your idea sucks and there are very few idiots who'd tolerate such abuse.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

While it is ok to have a link to your website in your signature line, we don't want posts designed to drive traffic to another website. 
We've had a lot of trouble with spam - that's why we've had to adopt these rules. I'm going to close this thread now.


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