# Please help me understand



## Married Only 2 Months

My husband and I have been married only 2 months. I have already caught him cheating 3 times. He says he has an "attention addiction". I have never heard of such a thing. Dont get me wrong I love my husband and want to fight for my marriage. However, because he had been caught cheating as well as a compustive lier. I dont know what to believe anymore. Should I walk now or stay and fight. If I stay and fight, how do I do that not trusting him?


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## richie33

Run.


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## Hope1964

There are 12 step groups for sex and love addicts. My husband attends one of them.

Your husband is using that as an excuse, though. If he isn't willing to seek help, then forget about EVER having anything close to a happy marriage.

My suggestion is to end the marriage. now. Only he can help himself. You cannot. If, in two years or five years, you see that he has gotten himself the help he needs, then you could think about resuming a relationship with him. But right now, he's indulging himself and using 'addiction' as an excuse. If - and I do mean IF - he is truly an addict, he will have to hit rock bottom before he changes himself.


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## mablenc

He can use this label better:

Serial cheater

I agree with Richie: run, he is not worth it.


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## melw74

Married Only 2 Months said:


> My husband and I have been married only 2 months. I have already caught him cheating 3 times. He says he has an "attention addiction". I have never heard of such a thing. Dont get me wrong I love my husband and want to fight for my marriage. However, because he had been caught cheating as well as a compustive lier. I dont know what to believe anymore. Should I walk now or stay and fight. If I stay and fight, how do I do that not trusting him?


I am going to be honest here, and give you my opinion. You have only been married for 2 months, and in this time he has cheated on you 3 times already...... With the same person??? or a different person??.

So he tells you he has a attention addiction. Did he know this before you was married???. I am sure he already knew this. ( i do not know your husband but i feel this is a poor excuse of him excusing his behaviour)... Again i do not know him, so i can only assume.

I understand you love your husband, but how can he love you if hes doing this, and its not just once. Were talking 3 times in a really short space of time.

You want to fight for your marriage, but what is he fighting for??. Will he be fighting for you....????.

I have also never heard of this so called addiction he tells you he has. I mean you are his wife, and i am sure he gets enough attention from you???.

Also you say hes a compulsive liar.... so how can you believe anything that comes out his mouth???..... Like you say, you want to stay and fight, but i agree, How will you be able to trust him.

If you did walk. would he fight for you???.


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## Jamison

I think you staying with someone who cheated 3 times within 2 months says more about you than it does him. Lets say you had been married for 20 some years, you had kids and lots of time and energy already invested in the marriage, and he then decides to cheat, I might could see better why you would want to fight for your marriage, but after just 2 months and already 3 times, I'm not sure I get that. What does he provide for you that is so wonderful that you feel the need to stay and fight for it? Its not something that sounds like will get better with time, so you got some thinking to do. BTW, no matter how much you love him, your love for him will not likely make him change and stop what he is doing.


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## NovellaBiers

Seems like annulment of the marriage would be the best option. He is a serial cheater and will never change.


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## PBear

NovellaBiers said:


> Seems like annulment of the marriage would be the best option. He is a serial cheater and will never change.


There's very specific reasons for annulments, in many areas. Infidelity isn't one of them, afaik. But a divorce works just as well to solve the problem and begin moving forward.

To the OP, how long did you date before you got married?

And you may want to move this to the Coping With Infidelity forum.

C


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## tmbirdy

You definitely should get out now. Run, not walk. One time is one time too many IMHO. Especially when you have only been married two months. If you stay much longer you will be setting yourself up for a disaster of a marriage. He's not worth it.


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## KathyBatesel

Yep, I'm in the "RUN!" camp. 

Dated a guy who supposedly needed that kind of attention. But the bottom line is that his "need" devalues you.


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## Another Planet

Run. 
See if you can get an annulment.


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## Taintimand

I agree with them, RUN! Your husband have a problem not you. Have you asked why he has "attention addiction" which I don't know to be a valid reason for his attitude.


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## Stormbringer

If you haven't already done so just go -- the guy is not worth it.


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