# Spirituality in separation and divorce



## eyesopen (Mar 16, 2012)

Friends,

I thought I would start a thread on this. I would be interested to hear how others have been helped by various aspects of spirituality in coping with separation and divorce.

I was not (am not?) a spiritual person. But as I guess often happens to many when life throws a big crisis your way, I have turned to various spiritual sources for knowledge, solace and understanding.

I have been reading books on Buddhism, New Age thinking, some Christian writers (though I am not Christian), as well as other inspirational books. I have read many, have many more on my bookshelf waiting, and my Amazon wish list grows by the day.

One of the notions/ideas that comes through, is the issue of being present, as in being fully grounded in the present moment. Other issues are about mindfulness and impermanence (i.e. everything changes). I am in the midst of a book called While The Heart Waits (Sue Monk Kidd) where she talks about the importance of waiting ("Cocooning"), being in the darkness, as a necessary step towards growth.

I do not know how much of a spiritual person I will become, but I do value these reflections, introspection and lessons. I am hurting very badly these days, but hope that these lessons will help enlighten me as well as ease the pain or at least help cope with it.


----------



## solitudeseeker (May 1, 2011)

Good idea for a thread! Like you, I do not consider myself religious, and I am not particularly spiritual. I tend to be fairly cynical and skeptical, and at times I have to work against my natural slant in that direction in order to see beyond my own thoughts and find more of the beauty in life.

That said, I am very fond of the writings of the Vietnamese Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh. His words can seem overly simplistic and naive, but whenever I find myself rolling my eyes when I'm reading his stuff, I remember that he is a truly courageous man who has seen all manner of horror and cruelty in his native country. He has faced violence and danger, and has worked to ease the suffering of many people. He is no innocent, and when he writes of ways to alleviate the sufferings of our minds, I truly believe he knows what he is talking about. I could not read such advice from someone who was born of privilege and has never suffered beyond finding out his favorite wine wasn't available at the store on the day of the big dinner party. But if Thich Nhat Hanh can still have faith in humanity after all that he has seen and endured, so can I.

I find some of the basic tenets of Buddhism (mindfulness, impermanence, letting go, meditation) and Taoism (trusting the flow of the universe and surrendering to what is, relinquishing concepts and judgements, observing the balance of nature) very helpful as I navigate the new world of being without my husband and raising my teenaged daughter as a single mother.

Though they are not of a religious nature, I have also been avidly reading books in this first year of being on my own again. I am focused on women's memoirs. Each author faced her own kind of hardship, and I am finding much courage and wisdom between the pages that helps me to walk my own particular path.


----------



## DjF (Nov 24, 2010)

I wasn't really wasn't religious/spiritual until last summer, my son's brought Christ back into my life then...I was born and raised Catholic, well pretty much Catholic on Sundays only...raised to be a good person...

Last summer, when my drinking and self pity hit the hardest/highest, my son's brought me down to earth telling me I could stop the downward spiral and start livingagain by accepting Christ back into my life...we had a long talk that night...soon after that I started going to services (same church my ifew goin to, but at different time so as not to step on her toes)...I started Living Free (Christian AA program)...my life started turning around soon after that...

My wife asked me to go to services with her, I started to get to see my grandbaby...as I grew closer to God, my wife and I grew closer together again...we've been in MC since January and all is going well...

I'm reading the "Meaning of Marriage" now, a Christian based book on the biblical purpose for being marriage...openning my eyes on how terrible a husband I had been...

I've got a lot of work to do gto become more spiritual...


----------



## solitudeseeker (May 1, 2011)

You might want to shift this over to the spirituality section. Might get more responses.


----------



## sadwithouthim (Dec 8, 2011)

I hope you keep the post hear as i would like to hear the perspective from thoae going through this crap/divorce or separation


I will reply later but i feel through this ordeal i have been saved. I will post my story later as I'm out right now.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Emma1981 (Apr 29, 2010)

Mindfulness and "being present" - best thing you can do for yourself. Dalai Lama, Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, Jack Canfield ... I read Conversation with God by Neale Donald Walsch when I was 24, changed my life and has allowed me to deal with difficult times much easier. Heck, listen to Oprah's Soul Series - I believe there are many reasons OW has become the empire she is today, she really has quite a few things figured out and is trying to share her wisdom.


----------

