# Depression caused by Infidelity and Divorce



## pjbap (Feb 19, 2011)

I'm man enough to admit that I think I'm clinically depressed from all that is transpiring in my life. I need to move forward but I'm having difficulty enjoying anything that I do. There is always this sickly knot in my gut, I'm very irritable, and have no focus. I also sleep way too much.

I'm sure there are folks on this board who feel the same ways. I'm curious if you can share what ****tails of meds or other lifestyle changes that have worked for you.
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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Have you tried exercising, journalling, individual counselling, anti-depressants?

A little sunlight never fails too.


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## pjbap (Feb 19, 2011)

Exercising: can't give my all due to lack of motivation and the sickly gut feeling.

Journalling: lack of focus and organization makes it impossible.

Councelling: doing that but talking doesn't make the depressed feelings and feelings of betrayal go away.

Meds. Was wondering if people can share what has worked for them.
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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

oh dear Lexapro Celexa generic Celexa Paxil generic Paxil lithium MAOIs Haldol Adderall Methamphetemine Librium and ECT. Not all at once. Also megadoses of B3 B12 D3
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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Exercising & Journalling: if you don't make an effort, you won't get anywhere.

Counselling: this one is tough... if you feel you're not getting to the bottom of things, try a different counselor or take a break from it so you're not wasting money

Meds: I have never taken ADs myself so I can't point you in one direction but will tell you that Vitamin C is a good thing to take. It will give you energy.

Depression is NO joke. Seriously if you need help, get it. I have been through depression before and it was literally like the world was falling around all over me. Truly awful.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

And my MD thinks MDA MDMA & LSD should be medically permissible
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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I am big proponent of Tai Chi and military style running with packs
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## ahhhmaaaan! (Mar 26, 2011)

**** bro, I really feel sorry for your situation. I felt pretty down on myself also, but refuse to take something for fear that I'll become too dependent on them. Like everyone here has stated, it takes time to heal.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

It took me a few weeks to pull myself up off of a crumpled pile on the floor but I found this site here, which has been very therapeutic to me. Great people with great advice. I also started exercising. It was hard to get up and moving but it feels good now that I have, and I pretty much keep myself busy in any possible to keep my thoughts focused on something else.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

pjbap said:


> I'm man enough to admit that I think I'm clinically depressed from all that is transpiring in my life. I need to move forward but I'm having difficulty enjoying anything that I do. There is always this sickly knot in my gut, I'm very irritable, and have no focus. I also sleep way too much.
> 
> I'm sure there are folks on this board who feel the same ways. I'm curious if you can share what ****tails of meds or other lifestyle changes that have worked for you.


I personally went to both Tai Chi and Yoga classes just to do something physical and to get out of the house. I rarely "wanted" to go and it felt like a burden, but after a while I began to enjoy the physicality of it with some spiritual and social aspect. I also began journalling "for my eyes only" in a notebook and just whatever mess was in my head I wrote it down. Most of the time it felt good to get it out of my mind, and also doing the actual writing with a pen and paper was another physical action that sort of "felt good." I went to both individual counselling and a women's support group for partners of abusers, and IC helped me apply things in my personal, specific case...and the support group helped me make friends and realize I wasn't alone (even though I felt like it). Yeah I still felt lonely but I knew there were others out there going through the same thing and that I wasn't "nuts" for the way I was thinking/feeling. Finally I did not take prescription anti-depressants for two reasons: I'm not a big believer in taking a pill to fix everything, and I am SUPER sensitive to medications--tend to be a more organic type person. So I did take St. John's Wort which is an herb. That did not make me "feel happy" but what it did do is to slow down that voice in my head that automatically said, "My god you are such a loser! I can't believe you couldn't deal with that! What's wrong with you?" just long enough for me to realize that the voice was wrong and I could talk back to it. On the occasion I took some Valerian if I felt like my heart was beating out of my chest (that's also an herb for anxiety) and some Kava Kava if I felt tense and stressed out (that's an herb too). So different natural herbs for different stuff.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

When I went through my separation I seriously thought I was going to die. I have never been more depressed in my life and have no idea how the hell I even survived. Looking back, I think I should have gotten ADs but never did.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I also find that driving around with Queens of the Stone Age blasting at ear bleeding volumes helps.


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## pjbap (Feb 19, 2011)

I like the idea of the herbal supplements. I never went that route before. Much less side effects too.

I have an appt with a psychiatrist coming up. Well see how that goes. But in the meantime I have no motivation.

Thanks all for support. Thing is I'd imagine things may even get worse while the whole household dynamic eventually ends and I have to deal with my childrens confusion. Life has to feel better.
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## it-guy (Jan 6, 2011)

I hit the exercise very hard. I went right into the gym and started hitting the weights like crazy. That has been a life saver as far as stress release. 

I am on a very good body building diet now, taking a ton of supplements and vitamins. This all helps. Tried a couple antidepressants before ending up on Wellbutrin which had the added bennifit of helping me quit smoking. The Wellbutrin is on a 1-year script....so I'll keep taking them. The only bad thing is my sleep. I get very little sleep and have to take sleeping pills every single night (have for 5 months). Bad nightmares and panic attacks at night. Mostly before the Wellbutrin kicked in though.


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## it-guy (Jan 6, 2011)

pjbap....this may sound odd but I think you could get some bennifit from caffeine. I know....stupid sounding right. 

I've never been much of a coffee drinker, so I was shocked how much better I felt when taking some pre-workout supplements that contain it. I actually feel great when I take one of these things and head to the gym. They actually work quite well.

So, I prescribe a nice BIG cup or two of coffee in the morning. Or, if you have no major health issues you can try a low dose of something like Jack3D or Cellucor C4. Both are available online or at a GNC. However....if your gonna take something like a pre-workout supplement you better be heading to a gym...or at least have a very busy day of yardwork planned...cause your gonna rock and roll for about 4 hours


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

Hey.. Stay here. Listen to the people here. It is only 8 weeks since Dday for me. I was a mess for a few weeks until people_who_shall_remain_nameless used BLOCK CAPITALS ON ME..

It is fine to be sad. It is fine to mourn the loss of a relationship. It is not healthy to hang on to it though! I think counselors spend far to much time on the past and not enough on what is going to make YOU better NOW.

You need to force yourself to do the 180. It feels almost impossible to begin with. Please.. let her go. For your own sake. 

I bought walking shoes and joined a hiking club. I must have walked 500 miles [think Forest Gump] Today I was on my own and felt happy. 
Meet some new people. You can only change you. So do it..

A few weeks on AD might help to kick your ass out of this feeling. Some men spend YEARS in this state. Don't do it.. You just get to join the "Bitter Man Club" 
I still fall in a heap. It still hurts sometimes but I am Okay with that. The person I knew all those years has GONE.


I now have a new Girlfriend. I am a better person. More in touch with my emotions. She is totally aware of my fragile mental state and we are taking it easy before you all jump on me!


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Please note every regimen of SSRI's takes several weeks before you can tell if they work or not.


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