# Got my STBX's first settlement offer...how many times did you go back and forth?



## don'tmesswithtexas (Jul 18, 2013)

The settlement offer is very lopsided and he wants $50,000 off the sale of our current house and by keeping part of his retirement to account for what he says are separate marital funds from the sale of his first house that was solely his when we first married. I did NOT know that the $38,000 he put down on our current house was part of his proceeds from the previous house we sold and he wants full reimbursement. 
I am hoping my attorney will be able to counter his offer once I talk to her next week. He also wants ALL the money in his savings/checking accounts as we used separate banking during the marriage and only had one joint savings. He refuses to pay my attorney's fees of $3,500 even though he has a free attorney through his job. He makes 3X what I do and he caused the dissolution of the marriage due to me finding out he had an affair with one of my best friends. They are no longer together as it happened a year ago but I am not backing down on getting a decent share of our marital proceeds after 13 years of marriage. How many times did you and your attorney go back and forth between offers before settling?
What did you give in on and were you happy with your outcome? I was hoping to wrap up the divorce within 90 days but it may take longer now and he doesn't want to go to trial and neither do I as it adds costs and time to the whole dissolution of the marriage.


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## BK23 (Apr 17, 2013)

Don't worry. Your lawyer will handle it. Texas is a community property state, I believe, so anything acquired during the marriage should be split between you. This includes any funds in his accounts that he earned during your marriage.


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## don'tmesswithtexas (Jul 18, 2013)

BK23 said:


> Don't worry. Your lawyer will handle it. Texas is a community property state, I believe, so anything acquired during the marriage should be split between you. This includes any funds in his accounts that he earned during your marriage.


I hope so but he did get $60K from the sale of his house and he plunked $38K into our current home but NEVER said it was from his funds brought into the marriage from his house proceeds. I was just floored when he came up with that possibility!!!!


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Possibly, once the funds are mixed with marital funds, they will become marital funds. That's the way inheritances work up here. But let your lawyer advise you on your options, and pick the best one to protect yourself. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

don'tmesswithtexas said:


> I hope so but he did get $60K from the sale of his house and he plunked $38K into our current home but NEVER said it was from his funds brought into the marriage from his house proceeds. I was just floored when he came up with that possibility!!!!


In most cases, once separate money/assets are mingled with community money/assets they convert to marital assets.

It's way too hard to figure out who gets what otherwise.

After you married, did you ever live in that house? If so for how long? How long did he own it.


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## don'tmesswithtexas (Jul 18, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> In most cases, once separate money/assets are mingled with community money/assets they convert to marital assets.
> 
> It's way too hard to figure out who gets what otherwise.
> 
> After you married, did you ever live in that house? If so for how long? How long did he own it.


He bought the house before I moved in. I moved in with him in April 1998 and we married in March 2000. We/He sold that house in July 2006.
He says I am only entitled to half of the equity for the years of marriage while I lived there with him. He netted a check for $60K and said I get around $10K which I never actually received a dime of because ALL the funds went into his checking as we bought our new home in Sept. 2006 and then we signed all the paperwork and made the down payment etc. He never said that was part of his "separate" money from the sale of his first house and he will have to prove that up and I intend to FIGHT it during settlement proceedings.
My attorney also said since I lived with him before marriage and helped contribute to the upkeep, payments, etc. on his first house that we can bring that up too.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

don'tmesswithtexas said:


> He bought the house before I moved in. I moved in with him in April 1998 and we married in March 2000. We/He sold that house in July 2006.
> He says I am only entitled to half of the equity for the years of marriage while I lived there with him. He netted a check for $60K and said I get around $10K which I never actually received a dime of because ALL the funds went into his checking as we bought our new home in Sept. 2006 and then we signed all the paperwork and made the down payment etc. He never said that was part of his "separate" money from the sale of his first house and he will have to prove that up and I intend to FIGHT it during settlement proceedings.
> My attorney also said since I lived with him before marriage and helped contribute to the upkeep, payments, etc. on his first house that we can bring that up too.


Hopefully you have a good attorney. What he's doing is flinging mud on the wall to see how much of it sticks. He probably figures that he's not going to get all that he asks for, but he will get more than he's entitled to by starting from an outrageous position. 

The bit about paying your attorney fees. You can have your attorney ask the judge for a court order stating that they be paid out of community assets.

You need to keep sticking to what you are entitled to by law.

He mixed that money with community assets so it's community money. He has to prove otherwise. He has to prove why the law does not apply to him.


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## don'tmesswithtexas (Jul 18, 2013)

He has made snarky comments about how much money he would have had if we had never gotten married and how he should have asked for a prenup and that it is too bad HE makes so much more than me and he isn't supposed to support me for the rest of my life. He said it was HIS career that gave us our solid middle class income and he thinks his income is HIS vs. OURS. His mentality is just sickening but not unexpected and I told him once he is done paying child support after 7 years he will be making bank again and then I just get part of his retirement income which he loathes having to shell out but I told him it is per Texas law and "I am sorry you feel that way" when he says I am just trying to hold onto a piece of him.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

don'tmesswithtexas said:


> He has made snarky comments about how much money he would have had if we had never gotten married and how he should have asked for a prenup and that it is too bad HE makes so much more than me and he isn't supposed to support me for the rest of my life. He said it was HIS career that gave us our solid middle class income and he thinks his income is HIS vs. OURS. His mentality is just sickening but not unexpected and I told him once he is done paying child support after 7 years he will be making bank again and then I just get part of his retirement income which he loathes having to shell out but I told him it is per Texas law and "I am sorry you feel that way" when he says I am just trying to hold onto a piece of him.


Stop talking to him directly about anything to do with the divorce. Let the attorneys handle it.

Of course he is going to say trash like that. "His" income is all he has left to beat you up with.


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## don'tmesswithtexas (Jul 18, 2013)

I just hope my attorney has something to counter him with and looks at his math that he came up with to get that total. I cannot wait to see what she counters with and hope she makes him squirm.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Stay on top of your attorney. Many are lazy (from my experience). Make sure she reads his proposal. Write out points/counter-points and give them to her.

I have gone so far as to type in the entire legal document and then included notes under each paragraph, to include any financial calculations. Then attached all backup paperwork, photos etc. And then given that to the attorney.

No one knows your story better than you do. Your attorney knows the law and court system. You know the facts of your case.


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## don'tmesswithtexas (Jul 18, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> Stay on top of your attorney. Many are lazy (from my experience). Make sure she reads his proposal. Write out points/counter-points and give them to her.
> 
> I have gone so far as to type in the entire legal document and then included notes under each paragraph, to include any financial calculations. Then attached all backup paperwork, photos etc. And then given that to the attorney.
> 
> No one knows your story better than you do. Your attorney knows the law and court system. You know the facts of your case.


Very true...and mine is pretty good as every time I have left her office I felt BETTER than when I walked in. This "wishlist" was typed by STBX and merely passed directly from his attorney to mine. It says "Sandra and Mike" on the list of stuff he wants. In no way is it a legal document drafted by his lazy attorney.  I have calmed down a lot since I read it and I am preparing to let mine have our turn at bat. She will decimate his requests no doubt.


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