# Multicultural family



## MNM (Nov 30, 2011)

My family always told me that I should date within my own race/culture because having mixed children would be cruel. Now that I am married to someone very different from me and considering children, I have been worrying about how to raise them. I am wondering if anyone here has an interracial marriage and how they handle having mixed children. Is it really as hard as I am led to believe? 

My husband is of mixed heritage himself and he said growing up was difficult for him because he was unsure of his identity. He was born in Russia to a Russian mother and Colombian father. His mother moved to Colombia with his father when he was very young. He was different from everyone else and yet he tried to identify as latino even though he looks Russian and does not speak the Russian language.

Myself, I am white and Native American but because I look completely white I have never had any issues with my identity. Now that we have gotten married, we live in a country that is not our native one. My major concern is teaching our children about their heritage (racial, cultural, and national), without confusing them. I want them to speak multiple languages and be tolerant of all cultures. Am I expecting too much? Should we even be concerned about this?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Looks like you're in the same shoes I'm in, raising a child of 4 cultures... but for me... all 4 have a conflict with each other lol

Being an individual should be one's identity, not racial or ethnic or cultural - that's what my wife taught me. She's just well... herself. I'm raising our daughter to be like her in this regard. Knowing one's heritage is one thing, but one should be able to make up their own mind.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I guess it matters where you are from and was raised. Our child is Salvadoran, Guatamalan, Irish, Austrian, with a dash of Italian. :lol:

No one cares and it hasn't caused any issues because hubs and I were both raised in Southern CA...albeit from different areas...but we're 100% American. He's 1st generation in USA and I'm 3rd.


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## MNM (Nov 30, 2011)

I'm from the southern United States and we both live in Canada now.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

I'm white, wife's Korean, and we were warned by a few people that our children would hate us, that they would have a very hard time growing up and that they would end up with "issues".

Our daughter is eleven now, and she's very intelligent, has a wonderful sense of humor, is bi-lingual and all her teachers love her, she has grandparents on both sides that adore her and spoil her rotten, and people always comment on how beautiful she is.

Man, how cruel we were, bringing her into the world in this environment!

Incidentally, she asked what she should say she is to anyone who asks: "What are you?"

I told her to look them in the eye and say "American".


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

"What are you?" Personally if someone asks my daughter WHAT she is instead of WHO she is, I'll tell my angel to come tell daddy so that I can whack him!


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

Sounds like your family is rather ignorant. Mixed children are no longer a big taboo; this is bloody 2011!

My husband is white and I am black. In my marriage, the people that give us the hardest time are often blacks. I wonder how they can be so prejudiced, when they know how much it hurts! I just laugh at people like that. Their ignorance is not my problem.

Discuss this issue with your spouse. Mixed couples are a symbol of how society has become more tolerant.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

FirstYearDown said:


> Sounds like your family is rather ignorant. Mixed children are no longer a big taboo; this is bloody 2011!
> 
> My husband is white and I am black. In my marriage, the people that give us the hardest time are often blacks. I wonder how they can be so prejudiced, when they know how much it hurts! I just laugh at people like that. Their ignorance is not my problem.
> 
> Discuss this issue with your spouse. Mixed couples are a symbol of how society has become more tolerant.


I can relate. When I was stationed in Korea and dating my W, my commanders warned me that Koreans "don't like foreigners messing around with their women".

No Korean ever gave me grief-it was the WHITE guys in my unit that took issue. Of course, most white guys in the infantry are southern ********.


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