# Divorce and dating



## Mr Jim (10 mo ago)

Hope everyone is doing well. 
I was just curious how dating went for people married and divorced after 30 years. I hear women often do not regret getting divorced as much as men but I often hear that older men do better than older woman dating. 
Any tips, insights or personal stories ?


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Mr Jim said:


> Hope everyone is doing well.
> I was just curious how dating went for people married and divorced after 30 years. I hear women often do not regret getting divorced as much as men but I often hear that older men do better than older woman dating.
> Any tips, insights or personal stories ?


As an older woman, I would assume that dating for me would not really be an option. Besides, if Mr Texas leaves me for a cheerleader I’m going to gather my friends and find a nice house somewhere and do the Golden Girls thing. Men only like young women, and I’m no longer young. Men usually do great cause lots of 25 year olds are looking for daddies to pay their bills.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Depends on how well you can make it rain dawg !! 60 is the new 20 if you got Green Thunder Showers in yo pockets !!!


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

Men with their life together have no problem getting women 10 to 20 years younger.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

thunderchad said:


> Men with their life together have no problem getting women 10 to 20 years younger.


Yes, prostitutes are easy to get.


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## Mr Jim (10 mo ago)

Good to know.. I'm not interested in being a sugar daddy or a sugar granddaddy just wondering what its like and what the general consensus is. 
I assume since there are more women at an older age than men, supply and demand would kick in and make it a little easier for men. 
I didn't trade my wife in for a younger model but since she brought me to the showroom, I might as well see what is out there.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Triple post ….. stupid cell phone


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

double post


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Yes, prostitutes are easy to get.


Don’t be hating!! You had your chance !!!

#prostitutelivesmatter

They got form !
They got function !


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Mr.Married said:


> Don’t be hating!! You had your chance !!!
> 
> #prostitutelivesmatter
> 
> ...


Had my chance to be a hooker? Yeah, I did. Opted out. Pesky character and self-respect. All I have is a lucrative job where I spend zero time on my knees. We all have to live with our choices I suppose. 😂😂😉😉🤪☺


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Men only like young women, and I’m no longer young. Men usually do great cause lots of 25 year olds are looking for daddies to pay their bills.


Not me. I'd rather become a monk than date a 25 year old!


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

jlg07 said:


> Not me. I'd rather become a monk than date a 25 year old!


You don’t “date” her. You buy her stuff, she “pays” you back and you move on.


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## gold5932 (Jun 10, 2020)

Dating as an older woman kinda sucks. Most older men that have any money or looks date younger women. Fact. I'm just starting and I'd almost rather not.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

gold5932 said:


> Dating as an older woman kinda sucks. Most older men that have any money or looks date younger women. Fact. I'm just starting and I'd almost rather not.


At my age, I know who I am and I know my value. I don’t “audition.” Those men aren’t looking for a friend and companion, they’re looking for an idiot sex doll. No thanks.

I’m married, but he dated a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader and several strippers before me. I figure eventually he’ll realize all the money we’ve made will buy him one or two of those. I’ll take mine and go explore the world on my own.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

thunderchad said:


> Men with their life together have no problem getting women 10 to 20 years younger.


Some maybe. Not many women want a man their dad's age unless he is rich.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> Some maybe. Not many women want a man their dad's age unless he is rich.


Not healthy, intelligent, valuable women, anyway. 😉


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

TexasMom1216 said:


> You don’t “date” her. You buy her stuff, she “pays” you back and you move on.


Yeah that type of transaction is illegal in my state (and in my head!)!!!!


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

jlg07 said:


> Yeah that type of transaction is illegal in my state (and in my head!)!!!!


Please. It's not illegal anywhere. It happens ALL the time. There is nothing illegal about being a "sugar daddy." It's what men prefer.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Mr Jim said:


> Hope everyone is doing well.
> I was just curious how dating went for people married and divorced after 30 years. I hear women often do not regret getting divorced as much as men but I often hear that older men do better than older woman dating.
> Any tips, insights or personal stories ?


We both had long first marriages, 23 and 25 years. I didn't date for 4 years after my marriage ended and after that just occasionally. 2 years after I started dating I met and soon married my now husband of 16 years. 
It does depend on what you want. If you want to meet a person to marry dating is very different than if you just want casual relationships. 
We met on line largely due to the fact that there aren't many Christians in the UK so it's hard to meet any available people.


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

You'll have no problem daring younger women who aren't prostitutes or sugar babbies.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

Wow this went to **** fast. The OP hasn't said anything about wanting to date some younger idiot.

@Mr Jim from what I can gather yes it will be easier than when you were young. Yes there will be more women than men. Yes if you have money you can date younger if you wish.

I'm not sure finding a quality mate will be any easier though.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

thunderchad said:


> You'll have no problem daring younger women who aren't prostitutes or sugar babbies.


You can't possibly know that.


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## ElOtro (Apr 4, 2021)

Oh well...here we are...once more all is about those (all) older men making themselves ridiculous chasing young girls who look for their wallets?
Is it all what there is to say?
If so I´ll suspect what for other reasons I sometimes gess, that I emerged from a colony of approximately human like aliens and so did my friends.

In all my LTR the ladies at my side were of about my own age.
And the one that was the love of my life and the delight for my eyes was two years older than me. And no woman younger or older could compete with her.

In all those cases my partners were brilliant, capable and could afford themselves.

Is it possible to date when you get divorced after a long marriage? It is.
May be if you are also the single father and only available parent of three girls (as once I was, long ago) it may not be scarce of complications. But still possible. Good humor and not taking yourself too seriously may help.

Is it possible to date when you are or become single in your sixties? It is.
Find an intelligent beauty of your own generation. They rock!
Good humor and taking her seriously may help.

Best wishes to you all.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Please. It's not illegal anywhere. It happens ALL the time. There is nothing illegal about being a "sugar daddy." It's what men prefer.


I know what you are saying, but that is just TOO cold and disgusting to me. My son is older than 25, so, yeah, NO.
I couldn't look myself in the mirror if I did that. So, THIS man does NOT prefer that.

Honestly, I am 60 -- there are TONS of late 40, 50 and yes even 60 years olds that are WAY more attractive than a 25 year old in terms of relationships. My wife is older than I am and I am WAY more into her than anything a 25 year old could bring to the table.

I remember reading that for an average person, sex makes up 4 MONTHS of your life if you live to your mid-80s.
I love sex, but everything else has to work also in a relationship. 25 year old, yeah, NO thanks.

I realize your H had a cheerleader (cudos to him BTW!) and strippers. Probably was him sowing some wild oats, but I DOUBT those were any sort of LTR to him ( I of course could be wrong).

I just couldn't see hitting strippers as any sort of LTR thing for me.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

jlg07 said:


> I just couldn't see hitting strippers as any sort of LTR thing for me.


He told me that the thing about those women is you go to bed at 2 am with a sex goddess, and wake up at 9 am with a hooker with a coke problem, no personality and serious mental issues. There are the few men out there that want a person, not just a sex doll. They're the minority, though.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

TexasMom1216 said:


> He told me that the thing about those women is you go to bed at 2 am with a sex goddess, and wake up at 9 am with a hooker with a coke problem, no personality and serious mental issues. There are the few men out there that want a person, not just a sex doll. They're the minority, though.


I guess I'm one of the few-- my wife always said I was unique (I HOPE this is what she meant!!!! )

I have a very hard time separating sex from emotions. To ME they are integrally tied together (I realize some folks do NOT have that, so I guess casual sex is ok for them).


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

jlg07 said:


> I have a very hard time separating sex from emotions. To ME they are integrally tied together (I realize some folks do NOT have that, so I guess casual sex is ok for them).


Me too. It's why I can't do poly relationships, sex is a very emotional thing based on trust for me instead of just a meaningless physical release. I think my life would be much easier if I were more like the poly people and never really got attached to anyone. I don't want to be something someone settles for; the identical second I start to feel like that I am OUT. It's why so many men on this site complain when women have jobs. They want to be able to trap them and use them and for them to have no way to escape so they can have their cake and then there's an older woman there to clean up the crumbs.


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## ElOtro (Apr 4, 2021)

jlg07 said:


> my wife always said I was unique (I HOPE this is what she meant!!!! )


 We, men, can hope!


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Me too. It's why I can't do poly relationships, sex is a very emotional thing based on trust for me instead of just a meaningless physical release. I think my life would be much easier if I were more like the poly people and never really got attached to anyone. I don't want to be something someone settles for; the identical second I start to feel like that I am OUT. It's why so many men on this site complain when women have jobs. They want to be able to trap them and use them and for them to have no way to escape so they can have their cake and then there's an older woman there to clean up the crumbs.


Ugh -- poly is anathema to me. NO way. Others who have this on here, more power to them, just not for me ever.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Thank you, @Anastasia6, for a very reasoned and balanced response. 

The direction these threads often take elicits a chuckle.

I'm not sure which is worse...the men trying sell other men that women the age of their daughter are lining up to drop their panties for them, or the women who resent/despise the men for even considering dating someone 'younger'.

OP, will you have options? It is hard to say. Are you a quality man? How is your hygiene? Are you professionally successful? Do you have all of your teeth? Are you easy on the eyes? Can you carry on a conversation?

All of these things (among others) will factor into your ability to date.

It probably will not be easy... especially at first, as you are learning how to be single again. 



Sent from my Pixel 6 using Tapatalk


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

There is a cohort of men who want much younger women and are ok buying them, even if they tell themselves she's actually into them.

And I've got news for you....men don't own the buying younger partners market. Women of means can do the sane thing if they're so inclined and historically have done so. It actually works better for women in many ways because hot young men likely do want to hit it in addition to having the money. The young women who are bought by older men often don't really want the sex...they just put up with it for money.

But IME a lot of men want comparably aged partners. The more put together you are the older you get the more options you have, partly because fewer people are still put together and partly because you can't fall back on youth if you've let yourself go.

I'm almost 48 and in really good physical shape, plus I have a good job, no debts, and 2 grown kids who are doing well. If I didn't have my awesome bf there would be plenty of options just in the athletic circles I roll in. That's actually how we met.

My recommendation is always to seek out groups and activities where you can meet people face to face. Keep yourself presentable and in good shape and you'll be in demand by people who actual like and want you.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

lifeistooshort said:


> There is a cohort of men who want much younger women and are ok buying them, even if they tell themselves she's actually into them.
> 
> And I've got news for you....men don't own the buying younger partners market. Women of means can do the sane thing if they're so inclined and historically have done so. It actually works better for women in many ways because hot young men likely do want to hit it in addition to having the money. The young women who are bought by older men often don't really want the sex...they just put up with it for money.
> 
> ...


Everything about you is #goals. 🥰


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

I met and went out with a number of women (all around my age) between my first marriage and this one and had sex with a lot of them. Seems like meeting women and having sex with them was pretty easy. Easier than when I was single 30 years ago. However, I did see that not very many of them would be someone I wanted to marry for various reasons. I did end up getting remarried and it has been OK....most things are pretty good.

Good luck to you OP.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

I honestly can't fathom why a woman would want to marry when she's older. If you're done having children, why? It's an honest question, I'm not trying to be rude (even though I'm sure it sounds that way a bit, please forgive me). Why marry when you don't need to?


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

TexasMom1216 said:


> I honestly can't fathom why a woman would want to marry when she's older. If you're done having children, why? It's an honest question, I'm not trying to be rude (even though I'm sure it sounds that way a bit, please forgive me). Why marry when you don't need to?


I would guess if they are not financially secure or can provide for themselves, they would need to find a husband?

Or if they enjoyed having someone around all the time to do things with as opposed to always be looking for activity partners. And then finally probably just the idea of the social stigma of having a man and not being alone?

All just personal guesses.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> I would guess if they are not financially secure or can provide for themselves, they would need to find a husband?


It makes me sad that women have to prostitute themselves. I've been supporting myself since I was 23. It's not like it's hard.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Mr Jim said:


> Good to know.. I'm not interested in being a sugar daddy or a sugar granddaddy just wondering what its like and what the general consensus is.
> I assume since there are more women at an older age than men, supply and demand would kick in and make it a little easier for men.
> I didn't trade my wife in for a younger model but since she brought me to the showroom, I might as well see what is out there.


You can likely remarry, but you shouldn't count on it being a much younger woman unless you are prepared to be someone's sugar daddy. You should already know whether young women are attracted to you just from being out in the world. In my experience the usually are not but you wouldn't have any problem finding a woman in your own age group probably.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

TexasMom1216 said:


> It makes me sad that women have to prostitute themselves. I've been supporting myself since I was 23. It's not like it's hard.


I wouldn't call it prostituting themselves at all. Some people (both men and women) just aren't good with money or not all have a good job. Some women may have not had a career in their previous marriage (stay at home moms) and now when single find themselves unable to establish a career in their 50s or 60s that can pay anything decent. Hence why they remarry.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

DownByTheRiver said:


> You can likely remarry, but you shouldn't count on it being a much younger woman unless you are prepared to be someone's sugar daddy. You should already know whether young women are attracted to you just from being out in the world. In my experience the usually are not but you wouldn't have any problem finding a woman in your own age group probably.


Agreed. I am around much younger women all the time for my job and while many I consider friends and good colleagues, NONE ever had showed an interest in me when I was single for a relationship. Many are downright gorgeous but have their eyes on guys closer to their own age. They enjoy attention from older guys and vice versa but I never caught any hint any would ever be interested in a serious relationship. Kinda creepy for them I would think?


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Agreed. I am around much younger women all the time for my job and while many I consider friends and good colleagues, NONE ever had showed an interest in me when I was single for a relationship. Many are downright gorgeous but have their eyes on guys closer to their own age. They enjoy attention from older guys and vice versa but I never caught any hint any would ever be interested in a serious relationship. Kinda creepy for them I would think?


See, you already know where you fit in and where you wouldn't. Some of them would think it was creepy. Others just wouldn't be interested. Most older guys who are with much younger women are just buying them. But look at it this way you might find someone close to your own age who you enjoyed life with.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Agreed. I am around much younger women all the time for my job and while many I consider friends and good colleagues, NONE ever had showed an interest in me when I was single for a relationship. Many are downright gorgeous but have their eyes on guys closer to their own age. They enjoy attention from older guys and vice versa but I never caught any hint any would ever be interested in a serious relationship. Kinda creepy for them I would think?


Less that it's creepy and more that they aren't hookers. You may need to find a different group to find the whores you're looking for.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

While obviously my post about money and hookers was a joke it is clearly a trigger for some people.

The bottom line is this: You get in where you fit in. If you keep and maintain your value, fitness, and earnings ability you will naturally attract higher quality mates. If you haven't then that's on you and you can only look at yourself for not putting in the work to have that capability. If you are lazy ...... you reap what you sow.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

I won't date or remarry. I will be 59 this year. I'm enjoying my freedom immensely.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Anastasia6 said:


> Wow this went to **** fast. The OP hasn't said anything about wanting to date some younger idiot.
> 
> @Mr Jim from what I can gather yes it will be easier than when you were young. Yes there will be more women than men. Yes if you have money you can date younger if you wish.
> 
> I'm not sure finding a quality mate will be any easier though.





TexasMom1216 said:


> I honestly can't fathom why a woman would want to marry when she's older. If you're done having children, why? It's an honest question, I'm not trying to be rude (even though I'm sure it sounds that way a bit, please forgive me). Why marry when you don't need to?


I married again at age 50. He was 49. Obviously for us it's partly about our faith as we believe sex is for marriage only, but even if I wasn't a Christian I would want to marry. Marriage means a lot to me and I see it as a far greater committment than just living together. I wouldn't live with a guy unless he was prepared to marry me.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Mr.Married said:


> While obviously my post about money and hookers was a joke it is clearly a trigger for some people.
> 
> The bottom line is this: You get in where you fit in. If you keep and maintain your value, fitness, and earnings ability you will naturally attract higher quality mates. If you haven't then that's on you and you can only look at yourself for not putting in the work to have that capability. If you are lazy ...... you reap what you sow.


Thats the same for women.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Everything about you is #goals. 🥰


Hey sister, I just don't understand why you're so convinced that 
A: all older men want much younger women as partners. I say "much" because younger can mean anything from 1-10 years (reasonable) to 15+ years (not reasonable).
B: a lot of older men can actually get said younger women 

Because this has not been my experience. Men who are sniffing out women 15+ years younger tend to greatly overestimate their value.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

TexasMom1216 said:


> I honestly can't fathom why a woman would want to marry when she's older. If you're done having children, why? It's an honest question, I'm not trying to be rude (even though I'm sure it sounds that way a bit, please forgive me). Why marry when you don't need to?


That is a good question and one I've asked myself. I love my bf and don't want anyone else but I'm not sure why I'd need to marry again.

I have my own income and assets to risk.

I suppose if he really wanted it I'd think about it but seeing as how he's never been married we might be of like mind on this.

Great for both of us to 😀


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Less that it's creepy and more that they aren't hookers. You may need to find a different group to find the whores you're looking for.


Why do you turn everything into a somewhat offensive attack? I made no mention I was "looking". I just provided an example of my experience when I was single. Why did it have to be made to be me looking for "whores" as that wasn't even near what I posted.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

lifeistooshort said:


> Hey sister, I just don't understand why you're so convinced that
> A: all older men want much younger women as partners. I say "much" because younger can mean anything from 1-10 years (reasonable) to 15+ years (not reasonable).
> B: a lot of older men can actually get said younger women
> 
> Because this has not been my experience. Men who are sniffing out women 15+ years younger tend to greatly overestimate their value.


They are mostly kidding themselves.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

I


FloridaGuy1 said:


> Why do you turn everything into a somewhat offensive attack? I made no mention I was "looking". I just provided an example of my experience when I was single. Why did it have to be made to be me looking for "whores" as that wasn't even near what I posted.


Im sorry. I’d had a couple of glasses of wine and mixed up your post with someone else. It was a nasty comment you didn’t deserve and I apologize.


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## Mr Jim (10 mo ago)

Thanks..There is a lot of information and generalizations to digest. We all come with baggage after a divorce and because mine went from great to crash and burn in a year I have a lot trust issues to work out. 

I prefer to meet and date from meeting in person but I realize times have changed and on- line dating sites are what people use. I looked at one site and don't think I want to go that route. It just seems creepy and takes the vibe away that you get when you meet in person. 

I know I could attract a younger woman maybe 10-15 years younger but I'll just be looking for a quality person regardless of age. 

Having money is a relative term. I have a decent job, no debts, house paid for, money in the bank and live okay but in no way do I consider myself rich. To me, rich is house in the Hamptons and private jet. I'm not looking to impress or pay anyone's bills just want to share good times together and have each others back. 

Thanks you guys- I appreciate the vast array of answers and banter between members


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Mr Jim said:


> Thanks..There is a lot of information and generalizations to digest. We all come with baggage after a divorce and because mine went from great to crash and burn in a year I have a lot trust issues to work out.
> 
> I prefer to meet and date from meeting in person but I realize times have changed and on- line dating sites are what people use. I looked at one site and don't think I want to go that route. It just seems creepy and takes the vibe away that you get when you meet in person.
> 
> ...


Don’t let those dried up prunes get ya down …. Somewhere out there is a 25 year old that wants a


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Mr Jim said:


> Thanks..There is a lot of information and generalizations to digest. We all come with baggage after a divorce and because mine went from great to crash and burn in a year I have a lot trust issues to work out.
> 
> I prefer to meet and date from meeting in person but I realize times have changed and on- line dating sites are what people use. I looked at one site and don't think I want to go that route. It just seems creepy and takes the vibe away that you get when you meet in person.
> 
> ...


We met on a dating site and it's really not creepy at all. I know many people who met this way and it's really useful to meet people who you would never meet otherwise. It basically broadens your horizons. 
My husband only lived 40 mins drive away from me then but without the internet we would never have met and have the happy marriage we have now. 
Oh and btw he wasn't desperate to get a much younger lady, He is actually a year younger than me. Most men are more realistic than some of the posters here who kid themselves that they could attract someone of their daughters age. 🤪😂🤦


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Diana7 said:


> We met on a dating site and it's really not creepy at all. I know many people who met this way and it's really useful to meet people who you would never meet otherwise. It basically broadens your horizons.
> My husband only lived 40 mins drive away from me then but without the internet we would never have met and have the happy marriage we have now.
> Oh and btw he wasn't desperate to get a much younger lady, He is actually a year younger than me. Most men are more realistic than some of the posters here who kid themselves that they could attract someone of their daughters age. 🤪😂🤦


I knew it ….. you’re a cougar and here you are teasing the sugar daddies. I knew your purity couldn’t be that crystal clean 🤣🤣🤣♥


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

IME, it all depends on a lot of factors. The conventional thinking that a guy "needs to have blah blah blah" doesn't hold up as much as it used to for a variety of reasons. Most middle age women nowadays have some money. Even if they didn't do or accomplish much career wise, a lot of them are set from getting their share in the divorce. May not be fair but it is what it is. 

Also not everyone wants to share finances and play house at this stage. It's more like "what's yours is yours and what's mine is mine" kind of deal. In that case it really doesn't matter what one is bringing to the table vs another. As long as they aren't sponging off the other no one seems to care. 

A lot of my male divorced buddies did well getting laid after divorce. Most reporting easy pickings. Esp with OLD. One thing to consider is that most of these guys are youthful for their age and are adventurous and objectively decent looking. If you are the typical older guy with shytty taste/swagger, horrible physique, old man type values etc you won't do well with most women or you will be left to pick from the undesirable women none of the other guys want....


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

1. Jim can spell
2. Jim can make paragraphs 
3. Jim has a job
4. Jim has no crazy debt and owns his house
5. Jim likes meeting women face to face
6. Jim sounds normal 

Man you at least down to the 34 to 35 year olds !!!


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

TexasMom1216 said:


> I
> 
> Im sorry. I’d had a couple of glasses of wine and mixed up your post with someone else. It was a nasty comment you didn’t deserve and I apologize.


Wine will do that so totally acceptable! Apology accepted!!!


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Mr.Married said:


> I knew it ….. you’re a cougar and here you are teasing the sugar daddies. I knew your purity couldn’t be that crystal clean 🤣🤣🤣♥


Lol. Yeh 11 months is dreadful🤪We are the same age for 3 weeks!


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

As for the "all guys wanting younger" deal...

1)...no guy that has already fathered and paid for his own kids wants to do it again....at 50+? are you kidding me? Think about it.....So that rules a lot of these younger women out(as far as relationships go) And don't think you will just blow them off on this and stall/make excuses....They don't buy that crap...If they want kids, it will either be with you, or with someone else...

2) if she's already got a few kids, and is young, then chances are the kids are young too....Strike two...

3..So let's say you find the one woman in her late 20's and early 30's that is into older guys and doesn't want kids...Good luck...She may change her mind on a drop of a hat and leave you cold...Or some of these women are kinda off(the staunch NO KIDS) types...Just my opinion, but a lot of them lack the exact thing that makes women attractive to men...Sorry, just my observation...Your mileage may vary...

So sure, you see athletes and entertainers do it, but don't put yourselves in that category...The truth is that there are many very attractive and yes Very HOT women at older ages...Many have way more to offer in all respects than their younger counterparts...In fact, I am finding many are far more fit than their own daughters...


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## ElOtro (Apr 4, 2021)

hamadryad said:


> The truth is that there are many very attractive and yes Very HOT women at older ages...Many have way more to offer in all respects than their younger counterparts...


This
The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth


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## Mr Jim (10 mo ago)

Mr.Married said:


> Don’t let those dried up prunes get ya down …. Somewhere out there is a 25 year old that wants a
> 
> View attachment 84674


    Thanks brother... I needed that laugh


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## Mr Jim (10 mo ago)

hamadryad said:


> IME, it all depends on a lot of factors. The conventional thinking that a guy "needs to have blah blah blah" doesn't hold up as much as it used to for a variety of reasons. Most middle age women nowadays have some money. Even if they didn't do or accomplish much career wise, a lot of them are set from getting their share in the divorce. May not be fair but it is what it is.
> 
> Also not everyone wants to share finances and play house at this stage. It's more like "what's yours is yours and what's mine is mine" kind of deal. In that case it really doesn't matter what one is bringing to the table vs another. As long as they aren't sponging off the other no one seems to care.
> 
> A lot of my male divorced buddies did well getting laid after divorce. Most reporting easy pickings. Esp with OLD. One thing to consider is that most of these guys are youthful for their age and are adventurous and objectively decent looking. If you are the typical older guy with shytty taste/swagger, horrible physique, old man type values etc you won't do well with most women or you will be left to pick from the undesirable women none of the other guys want....


This is what I've heard as well but until you are there, you have doubts. I do look ten years younger than I am. Probably my immaturity showing. And I've been mistaken for my wife's son, our son, twice even though I am only two years younger than her. I tend to hang out with younger people as well since I am active and have no health issues. 

Its just that insecurity creeps its head in. Am I set in my ways? Am I willing to want to develop and go through another relationship ? Is it worth it? Most importantly, Is it REAL? 

After living together for 38 years, married for almost 35 years, I question how easily what you've built is easily thrown away.
There was no infidelity, money problems , abuse...etc... 
And yet ...No counseling , no communicating her needs. . Just her , her therapist ( who she naively thinks is her friend) , her anti depressants and her divorced friends and low life brother in her ear. 

Sex is important to me and I'll get it but could I ever make myself vulnerable again is the question I have to answer


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Mr Jim said:


> Sex is important to me and I'll get it but could I ever make myself vulnerable again is the question I have to answer


That's why I'm not dating. I think I have PTSD from the whole tragedy that I'm very reluctant to expose myself (pun intended) again...


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## Mr Jim (10 mo ago)

In Absentia said:


> That's why I'm not dating. I think I have PTSD from the whole tragedy that I'm very reluctant to expose myself (pun intended) again...


I understand completely. I don't think I'll ever be able to fully trust a woman again


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Mr Jim said:


> I understand completely. I don't think I'll ever be able to fully trust a woman again


I should probably have felt that way about men after what the previous men in my life did, but I realised that you can't blame billions upon billions of people for what one or two did. Surely you can see that?
Thankfully I didn't let it put me off all men and I met and married my now husband of 16 years. 
There are plenty of decent people around of both sexes.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Mr Jim said:


> I understand completely. I don't think I'll ever be able to fully trust a woman again


You will if it’s the right woman 👍


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Mr.Married said:


> You will if it’s the right woman 👍


The problem is that you will have to "try" a few before you find the right one... too scary.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

In Absentia said:


> The problem is that you will have to "try" a few before you find the right one... too scary.


Yes is too scary out there, but by the same token, nothing risked, nothing gained. We just can't hide in fear of the bad, bad wolf waiting for us to step outside. This world belongs to those that dare.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Rob_1 said:


> Yes is too scary out there, but by the same token, nothing risked, nothing gained. We just can't hide in fear of the bad, bad wolf waiting for us to step outside. This world belongs to those that dare.
> [/QUOTE.
> Absolutely. Sometimes in life you have to be proactive.


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## Mr Jim (10 mo ago)

Rob_1 said:


> This world belongs to those that dare.


Do not agree at all. There is a reason our intuition has us pull back. If I dared, like a lot of friends , and didn't use my sense. I'd be DEAD. More people are destroyed every year by not listening to their inner voice and just ' dared' .

The world belongs to people who use their heads

Its all relative to the situation


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Mr Jim said:


> Its all relative to the situation


I didn't say to dare to be stupid, or reckless, like putting yourself in front of an oncoming train, or to dare to bet all of your money on a casino table. I meant to dare to take a chance. Unless, you're an emotional and mental mess of an individual that have not business dating, then, those that try, lose nothing in trying to date; yet they might gain in the end, if anything an experience.

Dating is a get to know each other business, not an I'm dropping my life in your hands to whatever you'd want to do with it type of business. It's just common sense to those that have a stable emotional grip on life.

As an aside: yes, in life, there are those that would and do/did dare to anything, some win some lose, some lose/lost their life, but as we all know that's the history of mankind. If we all would have stayed inside those caves and not dared to go out, we might still be eking a living inside/around them.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Rob_1 said:


> Yes is too scary out there, but by the same token, nothing risked, nothing gained. We just can't hide in fear of the bad, bad wolf waiting for us to step outside. This world belongs to those that dare.


I was 22 last time I dated… I’m 58 now. IT IS scary… 😊


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Diana7 said:


> You can't possibly know that.


If the guy looking for a woman is a average everything, yes, he’s right.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

In Absentia said:


> I won't date or remarry. I will be 59 this year. I'm enjoying my freedom immensely.


That is the attitude is of a man that still loves his wife.
You may have moved out, you may not have contact with her. Sadly, it looks like she still holds sway over your heart. 
You could be dating a woman that makes you feel like you’re walking in the clouds if you’d just turn loose of your wife who turned loose of you long ago. 
I’m just saying, it seems obvious why you do not want to date or get divorced…
From what I’ve gathered from your posts, it’s not about the money or what kind of lifestyle you lead even though you say that is the biggest factor. It’s about you wishing your wife would suddenly change.

You’re missing out on your own life.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Mr Jim said:


> This is what I've heard as well but until you are there, you have doubts. I do look ten years younger than I am. Probably my immaturity showing. And I've been mistaken for my wife's son, our son, twice even though I am only two years younger than her. I tend to hang out with younger people as well since I am active and have no health issues.
> 
> Its just that insecurity creeps its head in. Am I set in my ways? Am I willing to want to develop and go through another relationship ? Is it worth it? Most importantly, Is it REAL?
> 
> ...


I would go out and have fun and date, but I would be reluctant to get married too if I was you. I am on my second marriage after the original long term one (around 20 years) and I probably shouldn't have gotten married again.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> I would go out and have fun and date, but I would be reluctant to get married too if I was you. I am on my second marriage after the original long term one (around 20 years) and I probably shouldn't have gotten married again.


Honestly if you're not planning on having children, why marry? It puts your assets at risk, traps you legally... there's really no reason for it if kids aren't involved. If I found myself single there's no way I'd marry again.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Honestly if you're not planning on having children, why marry? It puts your assets at risk, traps you legally... there's really no reason for it if kids aren't involved. If I found myself single there's no way I'd marry again.


I agree...now!


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> I agree...now!


You got caught by an expert at bait-and-switch. I think you’ll do your time.


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## Mr Jim (10 mo ago)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> I would go out and have fun and date, but I would be reluctant to get married too if I was you. I am on my second marriage after the original long term one (around 20 years) and I probably shouldn't have gotten married again.


I'm definitely gonna see what is out there. I'm not gonna sign up for any on line service. I'll come across single woman in social situations enough to make a move. But there are no plans whatsoever to remarry again. I never say never but that woman would have to help me unpack all the baggage from this marriage and that is a lot to ask. Once my trust is broken, it never gets back to where it once was.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

]i


In Absentia said:


> I was 22 last time I dated… I’m 58 now. IT IS scary… 😊


I went from 18 to nearly 50.


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## David60525 (Oct 5, 2021)

Mr Jim said:


> Hope everyone is doing well.
> I was just curious how dating went for people married and divorced after 30 years. I hear women often do not regret getting divorced as much as men but I often hear that older men do better than older woman dating.
> Any tips, insights or personal stories ?


Older divorced women don't need men.
They took their wealth at divorce. Men in divorce don't have much assets. Older men get dates cuz good looking cat loving spinsters are on the prowl. Older men even though a lower financial status still have money to buy drinks and a steak. That's enough to get a date. A divorced women with assets From divorce gives up men. Men,
Date sleep around never remarry..


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## Mr Jim (10 mo ago)

David60525 said:


> Older divorced women don't need men.
> They took their wealth at divorce. Men in divorce don't have much assets. Older men get dates cuz good looking cat loving spinsters are on the prowl. Older men even though a lower financial status still have money to buy drinks and a steak. That's enough to get a date. A divorced women with assets From divorce gives up men. Men,
> Date sleep around never remarry..


Sounds about right. My future ex doesn't seem concerned with dating or men. Could be because the anti-depressants changed her whole being. All the people in her ear cheering her on will quickly disappear. She has a decent amount of money from my sweat over the years. I'll be okay financially . Not rich but not poor either. 
I went over the finances and she will have a hard time . She spends like crazy and will no longer have my income. 
I think I'll be alright.... Just a shame,. I'll never remarry and will be advocate against any man marrying a woman. Don't do it.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

David60525 said:


> Older divorced women don't need men.
> They took their wealth at divorce. Men in divorce don't have much assets. Older men get dates cuz good looking cat loving spinsters are on the prowl. Older men even though a lower financial status still have money to buy drinks and a steak. That's enough to get a date. A divorced women with assets From divorce gives up men. Men,
> Date sleep around never remarry..


That's a massive generalisation. I have never known any wealthy divorced women, including myself. Plus I know loads of divorced people who remarried.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

David60525 said:


> Older divorced women don't need men.
> They took their wealth at divorce. Men in divorce don't have much assets. Older men get dates cuz good looking cat loving spinsters are on the prowl. Older men even though a lower financial status still have money to buy drinks and a steak. That's enough to get a date. A divorced women with assets From divorce gives up men. Men,
> Date sleep around never remarry..


I guess you've never been to South Florida retirement communities. Dude, not even teens can't match the shenanigans that goes there with all those senior citizens. 

You would think that these are sexually overcharged teens getting it on all the time, getting STDs, and all that. Oh, and before I forget, you'll need to grab the popcorn and soda to watch the sop operas' back stabbing, and charged catcallings.

If you haven't seen it, you've seen nothing yet.


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