# Ran into the OM at Wally world. That sucks!



## ffghtr67 (Jul 23, 2012)

I don't post that much here, but I lurk several times a day. I am just trying to recover after a horrible divorce. I had to get this out and didn't want to bother anyone else with it tonight. I can tell my support system is starting to tire of me talking about my divorce and problems. Its starting to be time to move on anyways. 

Things are going ok over the holiday season, the kids are staying with the ex and her new boyfriend about 3 hours away and the house has been quiet since Christmas Eve. Money is tight but things should be getting better soon as I hope to put the Dave Ramsey, Money Makeover in effect. I have just been trying to keep myself busy by running errands and working out, trying to keep my mind off of things and some days smile and walk with a pep in my step. So I decide to go to my local Wal-Mart tonight. 

As I am leaving the store, I bump into my ex wife's lover. In a city of 1 million people that's bound to happen, right? LOL! 

The guy that caused the breakup of my marriage, The dude that banged my wife like a church bell, the POS who made my wife of 20 years moan like a porn-star, the guy who I thought about killing 18 months ago. THERE HE WAS! 

"What did YOU do?" you might ask. Did you confront him? Did you hit him? Did you call him out? Was he a coward like your ex-wife and daughter said he was? How did it feel? Was it exhilarating? 

I did nothing. He looked at me, I looked at him. We both said nothing and then he walked away. Very anticlimactic. 

As I walked to my car the only thing running through my mind was that this was the short, dorky looking loser that my wife threw away a 21 year marriage and a beautiful family over. What a unnecessary waste! Tragic! He is such a POS! Why couldn't she see that? What is wrong with me that he is so much better? Was he worth it?

I suppose this was the moment of my life I could confront him if I wanted, and I didn't. I hope I can stop thinking of him and her now. 18 months is long enough. I am just trying to figure out how I feel about this tonight.


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

*Hugs*, ffghtr67!

Sorry, I have no words of wisdom/comfort! At least you can look at yourself in the mirror DAILY and know that you are NOT a cheater!


.


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## unsure78 (Oct 17, 2011)

hey ff sounds to me like you did the right thing... it would have brought you nothing but trouble if you got in a physical altercation with him.... sad news is that certain things may always make you trigger... and the fact you didnt do anything actually shows that you are moving forward well... 

and yes support systems to tire after a while irl, its why tam is great... get it all out here
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

did you put him on cheaterville?, did you burn him with his wife/GF and parents, family etc?, there are someways with this kind of actions you can a least have a Little satisfaction knowing he is not leaving without consequences.


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## Sandfly (Dec 8, 2013)

I think this was actually the best outcome.

If you want to ever 'do something about him' it's best that it happen at a time you choose, in a place best for you.

As for who she chooses to go with, I would like to reassure you that it has very little to do with his personal qualities. 

Here is a story I posted on another thread to try and explain this phenomenon:

"I have seen a 43 year old man marry a 21 year old woman. He consistently earnt more, he was built like the incredible hulk, he was a convincing father-figure, confident, an ex-SAS man with trophies for boxing, and kept her away from men and her family.
Yet when she got a job at a supermarket eight years later, within a year she started cheating with a spotty little sissy, and tried to carry on even when he found out. He had to find the guy and threaten him, the spotty sissy backed out, but his wife still kept trying to re-establish contact... When I parted from my girlfriend, a couple of months later she came round to my house drunk, and we went out to the pub together a couple of times... she invited me round to dinner... I liked her husband and her, so I went round... it was OK... I got another invitation, went round... that's when he blew his top at his wife and banned me... I'm an honest sort of chap, and I didn't get it at the time, being so much younger, but now I fully realise how intolerable her behaviour was... makes me sick."

The point was, she just reached that age where they start hankering after strangers. Unfortunately, anyone will do, in fact several anyones will do.

Has very little to do with you as a person, or your attractiveness. If this guy couldn't stop it, then there's a lesson in there for the rest of us (somewhere).

Keep your chin up, and keep working out and improving on yourself in the meantime.


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

things could be worse ff

you could be the POS

she cheated on you

bet the farm she will him


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Chuck is right. She will cheat on her current BF, and the next guy and the next. Keep improving yourself, keeping working out and getting stronger. Get your finances in order and just keep breathing and moving forward. Explore and find out who ffghtr67 is. Get to know him. You'll like him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Paradise (Dec 16, 2011)

So, the ex cheated and now has a new BF that she has the kids around already? Nice. 

As for the OM....We all want to do something in these situations. I'm sure you are going through a mix of emotions but you have to temper them and realize there was nothing positive you could have done. Just keep moving on and bettering yourself.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Sorry you had to see that guy.
I think you handled it well.
I mean, really, what is there to say?
I am sure he felt bad when he saw you and guilty. Good. 
Carry on with your life. Put them firmly in the past where they belong.


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

look at it this way, the POS is dating a cheater

if you had $1 every time he....checks her FB

checks her phone....eavesdrops on calls

you could buy the Wal-Mart you saw him at

want that life? didn't think so!

your kids may already know who the stable one is

if they are young, they will soon enough

priorities for 2014

1-kids

2-YOU

24,893-do animals really talk on Christmas Eve at midnight?

24,894-your Xs well being

24,895-did JFK collect baseball cards?


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## ffghtr67 (Jul 23, 2012)

Thanks to all for the support! Especially Chuck for putting this all into perspective for me! In the grand scheme of things, about as important as JFK's baseball cards!

Happy New Years!


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## TheGoodGuy (Apr 22, 2013)

Nice one Chucky, love it
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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