# Your Opinions



## 1438 (Mar 13, 2010)

Hi everyone, I have been married 15 years, I love my husband but I am feeling very lonley in our marriage. My whole marriage I have not feeled loved. My husband does not show affection unless he is in the mood. I would have to say 80% of the time I have been the one to initiate sex. He never comes to me to just gives me a hug or sit with me to watch tv. I pretty much eat dinner alone, watch tv alone and when its time for bed go upstairs by myself and he comes to bed at 12 and im asleep. When he is down stairs with me he usually sits on the other couch and plays his guitar. Im at the breaking point. I have told him for years Im lonley and im in a marriage and should not feel that way, its like it goes over his head he says ok i will try and then nothing. His mother even talked to him recently and still nothing. He is not emotionally there for me either. He is a good guy and I do love him so am I being stupid or is he the one that has the problem. Any advice please im at my wits end.


----------



## 63Vino (Dec 23, 2009)

Easy advise is for you to spend LOTS of time reading here. Not because you going to find you answer directly but you will see people that are at various "phases" of this same situation.
Some at the beginning (little upset) and others past it (uptopia or divorce). And this may gove you some ideas that line up with your situation, to try which you had not thought of yet.

Does H realize there is a problem?
Does he recognize that you are "disconnecting" as a result?

You know, if he is not willing to explore whats going on, to resolve it, to work together with you...You are only going to feel more and more disconnected.. You may wait until its really bad and go, you may start an emotional affair (if not already) and you may (if your really elastic) stay in that loveless marriage the rest of your life and regret it.

Dont just sit around. Get him to understand the seriousness of the situation. Which is my last comment.

If you have really not done this
You need to have a seriousl sit down, and in a calm way explain (from the heart) where you are and what will happen next if he doesnt start moving on this. Its not about threats. Its a simple fact, that physical love as well as emotional support and caring are all part of it. Take that stuff away and there is not much point being together. niether is there love regardless of words.

I like that somecultures dont even use the word love.. Love is actions.. not words.

all the best


----------

