# Should I be alarmed or is he just upset?



## Librash2021 (May 20, 2021)

Ok where to begin…. Me and my husband are separated but were in the process of trying to work things out. However one day at his store, I was responding to a text that my sister had sent me. He comes over and sees the text I received and sees that within the text, it has a heart and lipstick mouth emoji in the text. Since it was a private text, I didn’t want him to see it. He asked me who it was, I told him from my sister but he didn’t know the story behind it and it was a very private conversation that I did not want to mention to him. He asks to see my phone because he wanted to see for himself... I said no. He asks why, I tell him because I don’t ask to go through his phone( which I don’t) so he gets mad at me.
Next day he comes to the place, unannounced,that I’ve been staying at since we have been separated. Me andy son get out of the car and walk over there. He asks my son if he likes the new guy….my son has no idea what or who he is talking about. He sees that I don’t have my ring on my finger ( and it’s only because I had just finished putting on lotion) but he didn’t bother to stick around for an explanation. He leaves then calls me and accuses me of seeing someone else. He then lied and said he had a conversation with my sister about communicating the day before and says that she never had spoken with me.....thid conversation never happened. He proceeds to call me a wh0re, and a liar and wants the wedding ring back ...though I shouldn't have given it to him, I didn't want it. I was so upset that he would calle those names and accuse me of such things.
A few weeks later, he apparently goes to Puerto Rico with some chick. I asked him in text if he has filed for divorce because if not, I will. He tells me he’s too busy living life in Puerto Rico while I am too busy in my town f**king guys. So instead of answering my question, he tells me to die and that I am dead to him and then blocks me.
I know that I need to file for divorce which is what I did already but is he just upset or is he unhinged and may cause she physical harm to me? People are concerned that he may do something to me just based off of how angry he was and showing up to the place I was staying unannounced.

I know there may be holes but I was trying to not make it so long, which it still is


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

If you filed for divorce, please add a restraining order to it. You two were separated and all he needed was an excuse to blame you for the impending divorce. He needs proof to name call you as he did. You collect proof that HE is the one cheating as you two are not legally divorced yet. He admitted that he was acting like a single man. Now get the proof if you want to legally protect yourself from him. He may want to fight full custody of your child. Yes, he is a very angry, nasty man. You married a sexist bully. That can turn ugly real fast. Protect yourself and your child from him as legally and quickly as you can. Never reconcile with this individual. He hates you for whatever reason. That will not change!


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Maybe does he have a history of violence?


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## Librash2021 (May 20, 2021)

Bibi1031 said:


> If you filed for divorce, please add a restraining order to it. You two were separated and all he needed was an excuse to blame you for the impending divorce. He needs proof to name call you as he did. You collect proof that HE is the one cheating as you two are not legally divorced yet. He admitted that he was acting like a single man. Now get the proof if you want to legally protect yourself from him. He may want to fight full custody of your child. Yes, he is a very angry, nasty man. You married a sexist bully. That can turn ugly real fast. Protect yourself and your child from him as legally and quickly as you can. Never reconcile with this individual. He hates you for whatever reason. That will not change!


Thank you very much for your reply! You practically read him like a book. He did say he hated me. Fortunately,we don't have kids together. I had looked into my legal options but unfortunately we live in a " no fault" state.


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## Librash2021 (May 20, 2021)

sokillme said:


> Maybe does he have a history of violence?


We had sperated due to the fact that I couldn't take the way he talked to me. He's incredibly abrasive, controlling, and treats me as if I can't do anything right. So I couldn't take how miserable I was with him and separated from him until I figured out how to proceed. He just says unnecessary things. While separated..he would make it a point to let me know how sad he was ...in his words...that he was "grieving me like I was dead" . So I reconsidered this time and decided give us another try. He said what people always say and that's they'll be better. Well look at where we are now..... He's in Puerto Rico with another woman but calling me outside of my name and a liar.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Librash2021 said:


> I had looked into my legal options but unfortunately we live in a " no fault" state.


The courts are overburdened as it is. Grounds for divorce aren't generally recognized nowadays. It's basically based on the two of you having irreconcilable differences. IOW you two just don't want to be married anymore.

ETA: Learn to let what this jerk says roll off your back. He's banging some other chick in PR but he's projecting all his crap onto you. Dump this guy like toxic waste. Seriously. And don't let him play with your head anymore.


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## Librash2021 (May 20, 2021)

sokillme said:


> Maybe does he have a history of violence?


He hasn't been violent with me but I wouldn't know with anyone else. I don't know how to take him right now. He's never said to me to go "die" or that I'm" dead to him". He's said some pretty mean things to me but never this.


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## Librash2021 (May 20, 2021)

Prodigal said:


> The courts are overburdened as it is. Grounds for divorce aren't generally recognized nowadays. It's basically based on the two of you having irreconcilable differences. IOW you two just don't want to be married anymore.
> 
> ETA: Learn to let what this jerk says roll off your back. He's banging some other chick in PR but he's projecting all his crap onto you. Dump this guy like toxic waste. Seriously. And don't let him play with your head anymore.


Thank you. I do try. Unfortunately his words only hurt when he said some things that was horrible this go around. I'm ok with him banging some other chick because I don't want him anymore. She's now his problem. I just wished the divorce process was quicker but I'll be patient.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

He's an abuser. And he's doing what abusers do: they escalate. Whether he controls you through threats, intimidation, retaliation, or going physical, it all serves the purpose of him thinking he's got some sort of power over you.

Time for you to break free of the power. He's renting too much space in your head. Tell him to go pound sand.


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## Librash2021 (May 20, 2021)

Prodigal said:


> He's an abuser. And he's doing what abusers do: they escalate. Whether he controls you through threats, intimidation, retaliation, or going physical, it all serves the purpose of him thinking he's got some sort of power over you.
> 
> Time for you to break free of the power. He's renting too much space in your head. Tell him to go pound sand.


Completely agree. And he only gets away with what I allow him to do. It's up to me. I was so angry at him and angry at myself for allowing him to get me angry. I'll be fine. It's just fresh on the brain but I'll get passed it.


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

Librash, first you receive a text, from your sister, with a heart and lipstick mouth emoji in the text, than the next morning he sees you getting out of the car without your wedding ring because you just put lotion on your hands. With luck like yours, you need to stay out of Vegas. You'll get cleaned out.
BTW, I don't recommend taking your rings off and lotioning up your hands while driving.


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## Librash2021 (May 20, 2021)

VladDracul said:


> Librash, first you receive a text, from your sister, with a heart and lipstick mouth emoji in the text, than the next morning he sees you getting out of the car without your wedding ring because you just put lotion on your hands. With luck like yours, you need to stay out of Vegas. You'll get cleaned out.
> BTW, I don't recommend taking your rings off and lotioning up your hands while driving.


Unfortunately I have dry skin. I don't know about you, but I NEED TO put on lotion DUE to the fact that the ring breaks out my skin. He knows this as he's put moisturizer on my hands. Plus the ring is broken...he knows this as well. If I continue to wear it, it will scratch me as it already has...he's seen that as well😉

ETA: and who said I was putting on lotion While driving? Maybe I was waiting to STOP to put it back on....


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

It's sounds as if he shouts at you but doesnt sound as if he is ever violent towards you. If he has never been violent up till now why would he start?
Saying things like you are dead to me has a clear meaning. He isn't threatening to kill you. 
Calm down and stop letting people put wrong ideas in your head.


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## Librash2021 (May 20, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> It's sounds as if he shouts at you but doesnt sound as if he is ever violent towards you. If he has never been violent up till now why would he start?
> Saying things like you are dead to me has a clear meaning. He isn't threatening to kill you.
> Calm down and stop letting people put wrong ideas in your head.


Thank you for your reply. 

Though those words aren't grounds for feeling like getting a restraining order, but his anger towards me and unhinged behavior could be.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Librash2021 said:


> We had sperated due to the fact that I couldn't take the way he talked to me. He's incredibly abrasive, controlling, and treats me as if I can't do anything right. So I couldn't take how miserable I was with him and separated from him until I figured out how to proceed. He just says unnecessary things. While separated..he would make it a point to let me know how sad he was ...in his words...that he was "grieving me like I was dead" . So I reconsidered this time and decided give us another try. He said what people always say and that's they'll be better. Well look at where we are now..... He's in Puerto Rico with another woman but calling me outside of my name and a liar.


Well those are all some pretty big red flags.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

Librash2021 said:


> Thank you for your reply.
> 
> Though those words aren't grounds for feeling like getting a restraining order, but his anger towards me and unhinged behavior could be.



Indeed. Every state accepts restraining orders, especially if you were the one that filed. Please get one. He is so darn sexist, it's not even funny. 

Good riddance!


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

Has there been infidelity in your marriage?


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## Librash2021 (May 20, 2021)

sokillme said:


> Well those are all some pretty big red flags.


They definitely are. I am doing alot of blaming on myself right now. All I can do right now is learn, file for divorce and do my best to not look back. 
He goes insane over THIS but there was a time in February when he went to Texas of all places, ( around the time when Texas ran out of gasoline And water during the ice storm) he letting me know he was with a girl named Gabby in Texas having fun. I thought he was lying to me. But he calls me the next day while heading back to our state and tells me theres actually no Gabby. He said his reasoning for going to Texas was to clear his head over us😏. ...yeah....there was a Gabby. I don't know the specifics of their relationship but she exists. I guess I could have called him a wh0re and liar them huh? At that point is when I was slow checking out of the marriage but never cheated. He did ALL OF THIS because someone who hates him allegedly told him that I had a bf...they never said that....

Sorry, he still has some rented space in my head unfortunately. I just need to get passed this day . I'll be fine.

I know you didn't ask for all of that,lol, I'm venting and still very upset. I'm human I guess lol


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## Librash2021 (May 20, 2021)

DudeInProgress said:


> Has there been infidelity in your marriage?


I believe so...on his end. I explained in a post I just finished making, about a recent situation back in February.


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## Librash2021 (May 20, 2021)

Bibi1031 said:


> Indeed. Every state accepts restraining orders, especially if you were the one that filed. Please get one. He is so darn sexist, it's not even funny.
> 
> Good riddance!


Thank you so much! I agree!


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Librash2021 said:


> Ok where to begin…. Me and my husband are separated but were in the process of trying to work things out. However one day at his store, I was responding to a text that my sister had sent me. He comes over and sees the text I received and sees that within the text, it has a heart and lipstick mouth emoji in the text. Since it was a private text, I didn’t want him to see it. He asked me who it was, I told him from my sister but he didn’t know the story behind it and it was a very private conversation that I did not want to mention to him. He asks to see my phone because he wanted to see for himself... I said no. He asks why, I tell him because I don’t ask to go through his phone( which I don’t) so he gets mad at me.
> Next day he comes to the place, unannounced,that I’ve been staying at since we have been separated. Me andy son get out of the car and walk over there. He asks my son if he likes the new guy….my son has no idea what or who he is talking about. He sees that I don’t have my ring on my finger ( and it’s only because I had just finished putting on lotion) but he didn’t bother to stick around for an explanation. He leaves then calls me and accuses me of seeing someone else. He then lied and said he had a conversation with my sister about communicating the day before and says that she never had spoken with me.....thid conversation never happened. He proceeds to call me a wh0re, and a liar and wants the wedding ring back ...though I shouldn't have given it to him, I didn't want it. I was so upset that he would calle those names and accuse me of such things.
> A few weeks later, he apparently goes to Puerto Rico with some chick. I asked him in text if he has filed for divorce because if not, I will. He tells me he’s too busy living life in Puerto Rico while I am too busy in my town f**king guys. So instead of answering my question, he tells me to die and that I am dead to him and then blocks me.
> I know that I need to file for divorce which is what I did already but is he just upset or is he unhinged and may cause she physical harm to me? People are concerned that he may do something to me just based off of how angry he was and showing up to the place I was staying unannounced.
> ...


You need to be logging date and time about this type stuff where he involved your son in this. Judge's hate parents who involve their children in adult problems. 

He was probably already seeing someone else, and if you were separated, there's no reason either of you shouldn't have been. That's pretty much what separation is. I would say this ship has sailed. But if you still want to reconcile after he took off with some other woman, which he didn't just meet yesterday, mind you, then show him the text. He had no right to your wedding ring, but that's fine because make a note of that as well and he will owe you for at least half of that at the time of divorce settlement. I hope you have your own family law attorney, because you're going to need it. Also, be sure and get your attorney a copy of that text on file for later when you can prove he's lying -- not that cheating gets you anything in divorce. It doesn't. It's just not a factor you get penalized for and shouldn't be since crap like this always happens where one person thinks the other is cheating or would cheat just because they are or would given the opportunity. Not everyone thinks alike, but the natural tendency is to assume so. That doesn't work between men and women.


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## Librash2021 (May 20, 2021)

DownByTheRiver said:


> You need to be logging date and time about this type stuff where he involved your son in this. Judge's hate parents who involve their children in adult problems.
> 
> He was probably already seeing someone else, and if you were separated, there's no reason either of you shouldn't have been. That's pretty much what separation is. I would say this ship has sailed. But if you still want to reconcile after he took off with some other woman, which he didn't just meet yesterday, mind you, then show him the text. He had no right to your wedding ring, but that's fine because make a note of that as well and he will owe you for at least half of that at the time of divorce settlement. I hope you have your own family law attorney, because you're going to need it. Also, be sure and get your attorney a copy of that text on file for later when you can prove he's lying -- not that cheating gets you anything in divorce. It doesn't. It's just not a factor you get penalized for and shouldn't be since crap like this always happens where one person thinks the other is cheating or would cheat just because they are or would given the opportunity. Not everyone thinks alike, but the natural tendency is to assume so. That doesn't work between men and women.


Thank you all for the excellent advice. 

Completely agree with you on keeping information he puts out there.
I did notice after he Voluntarily told me he was in PR , I went to his fb page to see for myself( ppl can call me whatever they want lol) and saw that someone asked if he was there by himself...he said that he was there with " a girl he met a week ago" odd that he would put that out there...but I did however notice the lady he's with, gave a laughing reaction ....my assumption was that she thought he was joking when saying that so my guess that it was indeed longer than " a week ago" but I could be wrong and over analyzing.


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

Librash2021 said:


> I believe so...on his end. I explained in a post I just finished making, about a recent situation back in February.


Nothing on your end though?

The reason I ask specifically, is that the combination of events you described (and your reaction to them) would absolutely give most spouses (separated or otherwise) very reasonable concerns, especially if there had previously been infidelity/inappropriate behavior on your part.
As another poster mentioned, you had some bad luck as a number of suspicious/ eye raising things converged in a fairly tight pattern.

That’s not to say he handled things well (quite the opposite), but his concerns/suspicions are not unreasonable given the circumstances.

if you are/were actually trying to reconcile, being secretive with your phone (especially in that circumstance) is not the way to do it. 
If your husband had posted the account of what you described above from his perspective, exactly as you described it but based on what he observed, the consensus here would be that those are some red flags and he should be very concerned.


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## Librash2021 (May 20, 2021)

DudeInProgress said:


> Nothing on your end though?
> 
> The reason I ask specifically, is that the combination of events you described (and your reaction to them) would absolutely give most spouses (separated or otherwise) very reasonable concerns, especially if there had previously been infidelity/inappropriate behavior on your part.
> As another poster mentioned, you had some bad luck as a number of suspicious/ eye raising things converged in a fairly tight pattern.
> ...


I completely agree with you and I can be woman enough to admit that I handled it wrong but I was responding to my sister in a very private texting conversation and it wasn't any of his concern. I do agree, and I even told him it's understandable for him to feel some way about how I handled it but for him to go on and call me those names when I very well could have done the same to him in recent events he's done way worse than a simple text, is uncalled for. I havent cheated. And you have a right to not believe me, but I haven't. He has a history of cheating in the past so I can see why he'd assume easily that I would be. It's what he would do. He may not have a history of violent behavior but he DOES have a history of cheating. Unfortunately I have found out, through his son's fiance, that he was involved with an ex when we were involved. I knew better but went with my heart to marry him anyway. Now I am going with my brain and divorcing him.


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

Librash2021 said:


> I completely agree with you and I can be wan enough to admit that I handled it wrong but I was responding to my sister in a very private texting conversation and it wasn't any of his concern. I do agree, and I even told him it's understandable for him to feel some way about how I handled it but for him to go on and call me those names when I very well could have done the same to him in recent events he's done way worse than a simple text, is uncalled for. I havent cheated. And you have a right to not believe me, but I haven't. He has a history of cheating in the past so I can see why he'd assume easily that I would be. It's what he would do. He may not have a history of violent behavior but he DOES have a history of cheating. Unfortunately I have found out, through his son's fiance, that he was involved with an ex when we were involved. I knew better but went with my heart to marry him anyway. Now I am going with my brain and divorcing him.


Fair enough, your call either way. And understand, I don’t “not believe you,” nor am I suggesting you shouldn’t divorce him. Just looking to ensure clarity around the circumstances.


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## Librash2021 (May 20, 2021)

DudeInProgress said:


> Fair enough, your call either way. And understand, I don’t “not believe you,” nor am I suggesting you shouldn’t divorce him. Just looking to ensure clarity around the circumstances.


I understand completely and I appreciate everyone's input. I'm on here for opinions, not for anyone to agree with my every word. I appreciate being called out if need be. Thank you for taking the time to respond and giving me your thoughts on both of our actions.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Change S to D.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Unhinged? Nothing I’ve read points to “unhinged”.


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## Librash2021 (May 20, 2021)

Evinrude58 said:


> Unhinged? Nothing I’ve read points to “unhinged”.


What's your take on things?


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Librash2021 said:


> Thank you all for the excellent advice.
> 
> Completely agree with you on keeping information he puts out there.
> I did notice after he Voluntarily told me he was in PR , I went to his fb page to see for myself( ppl can call me whatever they want lol) and saw that someone asked if he was there by himself...he said that he was there with " a girl he met a week ago" odd that he would put that out there...but I did however notice the lady he's with, gave a laughing reaction ....my assumption was that she thought he was joking when saying that so my guess that it was indeed longer than " a week ago" but I could be wrong and over analyzing.


It doesn't really matter the timeline. He's accusing you of cheating when he already was. I guess there are plenty of women you could pick up at a bar or who you already knew some way who would take a free trip with you. You will also be reimbursed for whatever he spends on that trip, by the way. You need to get your attorney on board asap because sounds like you need to file for divorce and get the attorney to shut down his spending and protect the assets.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Of course you're upset and you have every right to be. It will take some time to get to the point where you just don't give a damn. I assure you that time will come. I left an abusive husband. I was shaken by it, but I found that the sheer relief of having him out of my life helped me to mend quickly.

If your husband has ever shaken his fist in your face or gotten up in your face and yelled, that is solid grounds for a restraining order. As it is, I think you should get one. He could decide to escalate. Better to be safe than sorry.


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## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

Librash2021 said:


> Thank you. I do try. Unfortunately his words only hurt when he said some things that was horrible this go around. I'm ok with him banging some other chick because I don't want him anymore. She's now his problem. I just wished the divorce process was quicker but I'll be patient.


Projection much? He accuses you, and then has some chick he's comfortable enough to go to Puerto Rico with? Maybe he is the one hooking up, and his guilt is eating at him (if he has any guilt) and he's putting the blame on you, making it seem like you're the one 'banging other guys'?


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## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

Librash2021 said:


> Thank you all for the excellent advice.
> 
> Completely agree with you on keeping information he puts out there.
> I did notice after he Voluntarily told me he was in PR , I went to his fb page to see for myself( ppl can call me whatever they want lol) and saw that someone asked if he was there by himself...he said that he was there with " a girl he met a week ago" odd that he would put that out there...but I did however notice the lady he's with, gave a laughing reaction ....my assumption was that she thought he was joking when saying that so my guess that it was indeed longer than " a week ago" but I could be wrong and over analyzing.


No way he brought some woman there he's only known a week. Any sensible woman would think he was nuts...I certainly would, if a guy took me to PR after a week...I'm not buying that story.


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## Librash2021 (May 20, 2021)

GC1234 said:


> No way he brought some woman there he's only known a week. Any sensible woman would think he was nuts...I certainly would, if a guy took me to PR after a week...I'm not buying that story.


Thank you! Not buying it either. this situation is all sorts of ridiculous. From what I was able to notice...the lady did not want to be seen too much on camera but he made it a point to not only keep showing her when she was trying to get out of view, but tagged her. Too bad I can't mail the divorce papers to PR to his hotel room. Now THAT would be phenomenal.

I do sincerely appreciate everyone's responses. I was unsure of certain things but, I do know it will get better.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

My take is that if he’s cheated multiple times....
You should already be working on divorce.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

Librash2021 said:


> Thank you so much! I agree!


I'm sorry if I offend anyone, but it has been my personal experiences (yup, more than once), that PR males are very sexist. 

May be the third world Latino roots that influences them, but the vast majority are not long term relationship material. They are fun and easy going though, but that is what they are best at. Enjoy them, then release them back to the sea of dating. 😈


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## Librash2021 (May 20, 2021)

Evinrude58 said:


> My take is that if he’s cheated multiple times....
> You should already be working on divorce.


And I already am...nothing's holding me back.


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## NTA (Mar 28, 2021)

GC1234 said:


> No way he brought some woman there he's only known a week. Any sensible woman would think he was nuts...I certainly would, if a guy took me to PR after a week...I'm not buying that story.


What condition is PR in these days that makes it a vacation destination?


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## Unknown2u (May 19, 2021)

x


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

Trying to stay within the bounds of this thread and from what you have told us, I would say yes he is probably mad. If he genuinely believed that you have been with another guy or guys, then his statement and actions are understandable (not justified). As for whether he just met his OW or this has been going on a long time, is only conjecture.

What I do not understand is why would you be alarmed? You say he has never been violent with you, you want out of the marriage and have initiated divorce, so why be concerned at all with what he says or does? You are out of the marriage and he has found a new girlfriend (at least for his Puerto Rican trip). Why spend any time on trying to address what he called you or if he wished you dead?


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## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

NTA said:


> What condition is PR in these days that makes it a vacation destination?


Haha, I have no idea, but to my understanding, the Caribbean is better than here. Maybe I should go...


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## Librash2021 (May 20, 2021)

manfromlamancha said:


> Trying to stay within the bounds of this thread and from what you have told us, I would say yes he is probably mad. If he genuinely believed that you have been with another guy or guys, then his statement and actions are understandable (not justified). As for whether he just met his OW or this has been going on a long time, is only conjecture.
> 
> What I do not understand is why would you be alarmed? You say he has never been violent with you, you want out of the marriage and have initiated divorce, so why be concerned at all with what he says or does? You are out of the marriage and he has found a new girlfriend (at least for his Puerto Rican trip). Why spend any time on trying to address what he called you or if he wished you dead?


Thank you for your reply. So let me ask you, you wouldn't be alarmed if your s/o, ex or whatever, just shows up unnanounced to your place to ask your child questions about another man? Unnanounced? That's alarming. Instead of having a communicative discussion about said text, this same person calls you a wh0re and a liar when they have no real reason to? And when you ask said person if they've filed for divorce, they don't answer the question, they make it a point to be spiteful and let you know where they are while accusing YOU of " f**king other guys in ( insert town I live in)". Someone on here said he doesn't seem to be unhinged but he does to me. He unpredictable to me and if he can be VERBALLY abusive, cheat And tell me to " go die wh0re" ...it's PROBABLY in my best interest to stay away and file for divorce...which is what I'm doing. We wouldn't be here if we could have communicated better. I don't EVER ask to go through his phone or ask who he's talking to...I don't think they will help me trust him better. I haven't physically given him ANY reason to not trust me. I just didn't do what HE Wanted so he lost control and decided to go find someone who will be controlled. I'm fine with that but don't be a hypocrite in the process, accusing me of lying while having a woman that you MAY have been seeing WHILE you were accusing ME of being a WH0RE... 

This " man" is capable of ANYTHING.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

Librash2021 said:


> Thank you for your reply. So let me ask you, you wouldn't be alarmed if your s/o, ex or whatever, just shows up unnanounced to your place to ask your child questions about another man? Unnanounced? That's alarming. Instead of having a communicative discussion about said text, this same person calls you a wh0re and a liar when they have no real reason to? And when you ask said person if they've filed for divorce, they don't answer the question, they make it a point to be spiteful and let you know where they are while accusing YOU of " f**king other guys in ( insert town I live in)". Someone on here said he doesn't seem to be unhinged but he does to me. He unpredictable to me and if he can be VERBALLY abusive, cheat And tell me to " go die wh0re" ...it's PROBABLY in my best interest to stay away and file for divorce...which is what I'm doing. We wouldn't be here if we could have communicated better. I don't EVER ask to go through his phone or ask who he's talking to...I don't think they will help me trust him better. I haven't physically given him ANY reason to not trust me. I just didn't do what HE Wanted so he lost control and decided to go find someone who will be controlled. I'm fine with that but don't be a hypocrite in the process, accusing me of lying while having a woman that you MAY have been seeing WHILE you were accusing ME of being a WH0RE...
> 
> This " man" is capable of ANYTHING.



As I said: IF he truly believes that you were doing what he accused you of, then his reaction is plausible (not justified). Whether he was already with another woman is a different story of which there is no evidence. I am not saying that you are wrong or that he is right - just that *if I believed* my wife was screwing another man, I might lose it too.


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## Librash2021 (May 20, 2021)

manfromlamancha said:


> As I said: IF he truly believes that you were doing what he accused you of, then his reaction is plausible (not justified). Whether he was already with another woman is a different story of which there is no evidence. I am not saying that you are wrong or that he is right - just that *if I believed* my wife was screwing another man, I might lose it too.


Understood. We both could have handled it better. Or at least when cooled off, apologized for the reaction and agreed to have a better discussion.

Thank you for your reply.


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## Librash2021 (May 20, 2021)

Thank you very much you all for messaging me. I guess the plot slightly thickens. He’s a piece of work. I tell ya. So he messages me ” thanking me from the " bottom of his heart"” for being what he perceives me as ( ie, a *****, a liar, and calling me a piece of $hit, etc…)…while letting me know he’s heading to Hawaii with another lady that is not the woman he took to Puerto Rico…. Then proceeds to send me photos of him and her, him and her in his bike, and him and her in bed naked. He said he met " the woman of his dreams, his queen, his everything" while saying he's glad I am out of his life, put me back on blocked and said he's on his way to Hawaii( which was a lie).
I may not be perfect but I don’t deserve that…at all. Yes I had put him on blocked already. And I didn't have him on blocked before because I didn't expect for him to contact me again. I haven't bothered him, contacted him or anything, this message came out of nowhere. Smh. No one deserves that. If he's moved on with his life, no need to set the point home with photos and demeaning my character.


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