# Hubby just wants sex non stop- help



## wifeyre (Oct 18, 2013)

We have been married for 4 yrs and sex was fun in the begining of the relationship as time went hubby wanted more and more sex. When he sees me its like he sees sex then he would touch me in a sexual way even when I'm cooking or busy with something and he would never just cuddle he always wants his hands on my behind or my V-part. I started pushing my husband away and not wanting him to touch me or get frightened when he touches me in a sense that even when I'm sleeping I would jump in my sleep when he touches me. I'm taking it slowly to get back to the way things used to be but he doesnt want to take any days off from sex he wants it every day. I even tried to have sex with him one time in the morning then at night for 3 days in a row the fourth day I was so exhausted and thought he would also be but he kept coming. I do not have so much appetite for sex and dont know what to do. Please advise.


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## committed_guy (Nov 22, 2011)

If I were in your husband's place and you started pushing me away after submitting to my desires without telling me I may be building resentment. You permitting him to do stuff but not liking it without telling him is not fair.

You need need to have a serious sit-down discussion with him. Marriage is about compromise is everything. Maybe your husband does have a high sex drive but you only want to do have intercourse 3 times a week. Can you offer him a BJ or HJ those other nights and mornings. 

If touching you while sleeping isn't your thing then you need to tell him that and he needs to respect you. You guys need to agree on reasonable boundaries. 

Again, just because no intercourse doesn't mean you couldn't help him in other ways. You guys just need to agree on what and how often.


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

Talk with him, tell him how you feel. Maybe see if you both can come to some kind of compromise. If after you have expressed your feelings on the matter, if he hasn't listened and is still persistent in what he wants to do regardless of how you feel, then you may have a problem on your hands. Talk with him first.


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## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

Gee I wonder how the men on the show Survivor, or the men away in the military on tours manage to live without sex? They seem to handle it just fine. 

Your husband sounds very childish and controlling. That's big turn off for you. A considerate man realizes that marriage is about comprimise and respect for the OTHER person's wishes. 

Tell him you are up for it 2 or 3 nights a week. That you love him but feel that he has to listen to what you are saying if he wants a happy marriage. 

Ask him 'do you want a happy marriage with me?' 'If this is true you will listen to what I am telling you'. Respect me as a woman and hear what I am saying.


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## wifeyre (Oct 18, 2013)

committed_guy said:


> If I were in your husband's place and you started pushing me away after submitting to my desires without telling me I may be building resentment. You permitting him to do stuff but not liking it without telling him is not fair.
> 
> You need need to have a serious sit-down discussion with him. Marriage is about compromise is everything. Maybe your husband does have a high sex drive but you only want to do have intercourse 3 times a week. Can you offer him a BJ or HJ those other nights and mornings.
> 
> ...




I have tried talking to him and for him this is not negotiable , sex must be everyday. I do want to give it to him as much as he wants but I get exhausted and I'm not saying he must only have 3 times a week but he must also remember that the appetite is not the same. I do give him BJ's and Hj's. My husband just cannot go without sex which I feel its either I keep up with his appetite or sex is going to drive me away.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

So is everything else in your relationship non-negotiable, too? His way or no way?

I had an ex who expected me to fck on command. It got really old. Also, it did not make me fall more in love with him. I'd be sleeping and he'd be trying to have sex with me.


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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

Well sorry to hear this,
I don't know what you can do other than be assertive that you are an equal partner and your needs are just as important as his. 

He has probably figured out that if he pushes hard enough he can get sex. 

Will it drive him away if you set boundaries that you can live with? Only he knows that but you have to do what is right for you. If you are at the point of being scared of touching I would say that is not good for you. 

I do not think he is doing it out of bad intentions he probably just enjoys sex and does not understand anyone who would not want sex as often as possible. He will most likely slow down with age but that can take a very long time. He may have been under the impression that he was marrying someone who liked sex just as much as him. 

If he is not willing to make a compromise than you should probably find someone else.


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

wifeyre said:


> I have tried talking to him and for him this is not negotiable , sex must be everyday. I do want to give it to him as much as he wants but I get exhausted and I'm not saying he must only have 3 times a week but he must also remember that the appetite is not the same. I do give him BJ's and Hj's. My husband just cannot go without sex which I feel its either I keep up with his appetite or sex is going to drive me away.


If you don't feel this way already, at some point you probably will, and that is, you will probably end up feeling like just a disposable outlet for him. Since he feels its not negotiable, then he has pretty much crapped on you as far as compromise. He is saying to you, its my way or no way. Thats not a loving, healthy, mature marriage, sounds like you need to do some thinking and soul searching, about what you are willing and not willing to tolerate in your life.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I can see how his actions might start making you feel like no more than a sexual plaything which would cause you to reject him. Communicate with him and if it's non negotiable then sex will just have to be off the table until he goes with you to a therapist. He must be made to understand you need more from him that just sexual touches all the time. You need the non sexual attention too. He needs to be told that it's the non sexual communication,attention,and affection that sparks most women to engage a man sexually more often. 

Also, what is going on with him that he's so needy sexually now? My husband wants it daily and so do I but if he suddenly started expecting multiple times a day it would give me pause and I'd have a lot of questions. 

It isn't fair for you to keep running yourself ragged trying to meet his needs when he doesn't seem to give a flip about yours. 

If he balanced the sexual attention with non sexual attention,do you think you'd be more open to his persistent drive?


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## I Don't Know (Oct 8, 2013)

Ok, I came in here expecting to hear the standard LD thinking that twice a week is "all the time." But you've got a real problem here. You are going to end up hating this man. So what would happen if you cut him off? Do you think he'd get violent or forceful? I don't think cutting him off is necessarily how you fix this, I'm just curious.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Curious if your husband was previously in a sexless relationship?


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## aston (Oct 24, 2011)

Did you set boundaries at the beginning of your relationship prior to getting married? If this was ok prior to getting married then the sudden change will be alien to him.

I hate to be critical but this is something you should have either known/seen coming or at least discussed prior to getting married.
Men fall in love with the women we are attracted to, and the precedents set prior to him making the ultimate commitment to you is what he's latched on to because that's who / what he married. So unless you put up with in the hopes once you get the ring / married then you can turn around I'm sorry to break this to you but it's not going to change anytime soon. To discuss it now won't change a thing in the long run, he will simply seek other means / it elsewhere.
Nevertheless, it's a good decision to at least discuss it and find ways around it.

On a different note, I've seen this happen many times. Not directing this at you but I see a lot of women put up with their boyfriends hyper sexual behavior in the hopes of a long term commitment / marriage and then after marriage they turn around (call it bait and switch and again this isn't directed towards you). It always ends the same way....he simply finds ways to get it elsewhere....internet, porn etc and ultimately cheating.
It's all good in the beginning until someone wants more (or less).


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

wifeyre said:


> I have tried talking to him and for him this is not negotiable , sex must be everyday. I do want to give it to him as much as he wants but I get exhausted and I'm not saying he must only have 3 times a week but he must also remember that the appetite is not the same. I do give him BJ's and Hj's. My husband just cannot go without sex which I feel its either I keep up with his appetite or sex is going to drive me away.


Oh, it is negotiable. You just have to vaj up and make it so.

Even laborers in China making your iPhone get one day off a week.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Cletus said:


> Oh, it is negotiable. You just have to vaj up and make it so.
> 
> Even laborers in China making your iPhone get one day off a week.


:rofl:


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## aston (Oct 24, 2011)

Cletus said:


> Even laborers in China making your iPhone get one day off a week.


:iagree: HA!


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

wifeyre said:


> We have been married for 4 yrs and sex was fun in the begining of the relationship as time went hubby wanted more and more sex. When he sees me its like he sees sex then he would touch me in a sexual way even when I'm cooking or busy with something and he would never just cuddle he always wants his hands on my behind or my V-part. I started pushing my husband away and not wanting him to touch me or get frightened when he touches me in a sense that even when I'm sleeping I would jump in my sleep when he touches me. I'm taking it slowly to get back to the way things used to be but he doesnt want to take any days off from sex he wants it every day. I even tried to have sex with him one time in the morning then at night for 3 days in a row the fourth day I was so exhausted and thought he would also be but he kept coming. I do not have so much appetite for sex and dont know what to do. Please advise.



You knew what your hubby to be was all about when you were dating, engaged and now happily married for 4 years.

The sex was fun and good in the beginning and now its annoying because he still thinks you're hot, sexy, only wants to be with the woman he loves and married and yes every day if possible. Just terrible....

If you had the high sex drive HD and he was the lower sex drive LD, but had lots of sex with you in the beginning, would he be annoyed with you?

Most men have high sex drives and could have sex every day.

Over time, our sex drives do taper off, so it won't be every day.

I say, enjoy the sex and make the most of it while this lasts.

You're only young and crazy once in life.

I see the LD spouse finally coming out while the HD spouse will be rejected, feel deceived and eventually will look at porn among other things. He will think, what's wrong with me or you?

This is also a little like bait and switch. Lots of sex while dating and first being married, then true LD comes out and doesn't want sex nearly as much now.


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

CuddleBug said:


> This is also a little like bait and switch. Lots of sex while dating and first being married, then true LD comes out and doesn't want sex nearly as much now.


Except that according to her post it's his sex drive that's changed (as in increased) not hers. If that's true than he's the one guilty of bait and switch. 

Personally I'm not sure it's really about the sex strictly speaking. Sex undeniably sex feels good and generates a lot of endorphins. Some people desire sex more when they are depressed, insecure and/or stressed. Could his increased sex drive be related to outside stressors? Work, your relationship, finances etc. If so that's what you could work on to bring things back to where they were.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

MaritimeGuy said:


> Except that according to her post it's his sex drive that's changed (as in increased) not hers. If that's true than he's the one guilty of bait and switch.
> 
> Personally I'm not sure it's really about the sex strictly speaking. Sex undeniably sex feels good and generates a lot of endorphins. Some people desire sex more when they are depressed, insecure and/or stressed. Could his increased sex drive be related to outside stressors? Work, your relationship, finances etc. If so that's what you could work on to bring things back to where they were.


Things that stress you consume your attention and eventually the sex drive gets starved down.


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## barbados (Aug 30, 2012)

Some more information would be useful here like your ages, relationship / sexual backgrounds, etc.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

barbados said:


> Some more information would be useful here like your ages, relationship / sexual backgrounds, etc.


Ok, I'll bite.

Is there any age where daily sex should be compulsory? 

Assuming the OP isn't being hyperbolic, every day is too much to ask of someone who doesn't also want every day sex. I'm pretty sure the manufacturer's warranty on most vaginas runs out pretty quickly with that many miles on one.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Cletus said:


> Ok, I'll bite.
> 
> Is there any age where daily sex should be compulsory?
> 
> Assuming the OP isn't being hyperbolic, every day is too much to ask of someone who doesn't also want every day sex. I'm pretty sure the manufacturer's warranty on most vaginas runs out pretty quickly with that many miles on one.


Some of them get better with use, like a catchers mit perfectly molded for then catcher.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

treyvion said:


> Some of them get better with use, like a catchers mit perfectly molded for then catcher.


My son was a catcher. You don't want to know what happened to that mitt after a season when he had a 90+ mph pitcher at the other end.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Cletus said:


> My son was a catcher. You don't want to know what happened to that mitt after a season when he had a 90+ mph pitcher at the other end.


Split it?


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## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

wifeyre said:


> Hubby just wants sex non stop- help



I guess I see this problem very differently than most people here. 

*Complaining that your husband wants sex non-stop is like complaining that your husband makes too much money*. Most women have the very opposite complaint, and many would trade places with you in an instant. 

Instead of trying to make him stop, it would be a lot more productive to get him to steer his sexual attentions in ways that would arouse you more. That way you both would be happier, a win-win! But you have to tell him how, and that's only possible if you two are able to communicate a lot better, and it sounds like communication skills are greatly lacking here. Going together to see a marriage counselor couldn't hurt.


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## kitty2013 (Dec 6, 2013)

What are your husband's secrets ? 

P/s: Many women including me are jealous of you


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Enjoy the almost daily sex while you can because he won't be like this forever. Use this time in your lives to really find out each others fantasies, fetishes and really get to know each other. Enjoy the ride while it lasts. So many here would love to be in your situation. If my wifee all of a sudden wanted sex 1x every day, 7 days each week. I would be speechless and the happiest hubby in the world.:smthumbup:

Now if my wifee wanted sex 2 - 3x every day, then I would have a problem with that because I work full time, do chores, errands and need my time to unwind. Weekends, sex 3x day is no problem though.

If you start denying your hubby sex because you just don't like sex as much, after a while, the resentment will start to build on his part and he will start relieving himself to porn, etc. 

If you had the high sex drive and wanted your hubby to do you once every day, and then he says to you, all you want is sex, I don't want it much anymore, how would you feel?

After a while, your resentment would build up and maybe have an Emotional Affair EA, leading to a Physical Affair PA because he didn't take care of your needs as his own.

In marriage, there is some sacrifice and give and take. You do things for him because you love him and he does the same for you. Not all things you will love to do for him and him for you.

You've been married for 4 years? That means you're both young and should be having crazy, adventurous sex all the time. If you take care of his sexual needs when he is at his horniest, he will remember that as you both get older and he will take care of your needs when you need it the most. See?


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Cletus said:


> Ok, I'll bite.
> 
> Is there any age where daily sex should be compulsory?


OK, I'll bite.

Under 43. That's how old I am and I like it daily. It has declined quite a bit.



Cletus said:


> Assuming the OP isn't being hyperbolic, every day is too much to ask of someone who doesn't also want every day sex. I'm pretty sure the manufacturer's warranty on most vaginas runs out pretty quickly with that many miles on one.


I've been sexually active with my wife for 23 years. It hasn't worn out yet.


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

OP I'm guessing this is the same guy who pressured you for sex immediately after having your child (saying if your pushing him to get it outside of the relationship if you don't). TBH from reading other posts your husband sounds like a jerk, I'm not sure he be willing to compromise.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Cletus said:


> My son was a catcher. You don't want to know what happened to that mitt after a season when he had a 90+ mph pitcher at the other end.





treyvion said:


> Split it?


Otherwise known as Childbirth.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> Otherwise known as Childbirth.


A post child birth vagina can be very pleasureable, but most do change slightly even if the medical practice does not advice of this.

I was surprised how much vaginal response was retained after my kids where born, but there is no denying that some of the internals shifted slightly....


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> Otherwise known as Childbirth.


There is no more horrific sound on the face of the earth than that of an episiotomy.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

larry.gray said:


> OK, I'll bite.
> 
> Under 43. That's how old I am and I like it daily. It has declined quite a bit.
> 
> ...


The operative word was compulsory. She says she doesn't want it daily.


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## ankh (Oct 14, 2012)

*Re: Re: Hubby just wants sex non stop- help*



committed_guy said:


> If I were in your husband's place and you started pushing me away after submitting to my desires without telling me I may be building resentment. You permitting him to do stuff but not liking it without telling him is not fair.
> 
> You need need to have a serious sit-down discussion with him. Marriage is about compromise is everything. Maybe your husband does have a high sex drive but you only want to do have intercourse 3 times a week. Can you offer him a BJ or HJ those other nights and mornings.
> 
> ...


the book entitled Boundaries by author named Cloud is very good on this issue.


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