# Revenge cheating



## Neelhelp (Jul 20, 2017)

Has anyone cheated out of revenge? I am just so hurt right now because my husband cheated. I want to stop thinking about him but I can't, I am going crazy. I am just an emotional mess right now. I have thought of cheating just out of spite. I just want to **** someone so he can feel hurt too.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

Yes, most BS think of Revenge cheating, but most DONT DO IT. why? Because its no better than the original offense...infact its WORSE, BECAUSE you are doing it with the express purpose to hurt, where the original cheater is just selfish. Most of the time cheaters are not even out to hurt you, they just want their fun, and for you never to find out. 

Dont cheat, if you need your kicks tell him how you need to Reconcile. Period of time for an open marriage maybe... If you need to get some to level the playing field fine, but just know its a pandora box....it invites another level of problems to work out. It does not help....PERIOD.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

threelittlestars said:


> Yes, most BS think of Revenge cheating, but most DONT DO IT. why? Because its no better than the original offense...infact its WORSE, BECAUSE you are doing it with the express purpose to hurt, where the original cheater is just selfish. Most of the time cheaters are not even out to hurt you, they just want their fun, and for you never to find out.
> 
> Dont cheat, if you need your kicks tell him how you need to Reconcile. Period of time for an open marriage maybe... If you need to get some to level the playing field fine, but just know its a pandora box....it invites another level of problems to work out. It does not help....PERIOD.


Exactly, it's a great way to make things worse. Stooping to his level won't make you feel any better.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Neelhelp said:


> Has anyone cheated out of revenge? I am just so hurt right now because my husband cheated. I want to stop thinking about him but I can't, I am going crazy. I am just an emotional mess right now. I have thought of cheating just out of spite. I just want to **** someone so he can feel hurt too.


do what you have to do Just realize it will probably end your marriage. and thats not necessarily a bad thing. But if you know that then keep the moral high ground and file for divorce.

I don't think bad of revenge cheaters. whats good for the goose !


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

I went and read your other post and have different insight. 

First, with the infidelity, commitment and infertility issues you both have had in your marriage i don't think its fair to yourself to continue dragging this pathetic man through the minefield that is your marriage and relationship. 

Look up co dependence, i think you have big issues with this when it comes to him. 
Also get yourself with an individual counselor... they may help you with that issue. 

To put this bluntly, your marriage is not worth working on now. He does not love you, and he has let himself feel that way....Love is a CHOICE, chose to unlove him in return....


Im going out on a limb here and actually want to amend my first post.... Cheating on your husband will NOT HELP THE RELATIONSHIP. but it just might kill it for good, and may also help with your codependency issues in regards to them for your husband. BUT I CAUTION YOU. Dont cheat lightly. go in with eyes wide open with your own destructive awareness and start building yourself a wall. 

He has never been failthful, he never will be. You okay with that? If not, you must realize YOU CANNOT CHANGE HIM. he does not want to change, you need to do the changing and it needs to happen now. Look up the 180, and get yourself good and square with you. See a lawyer (dont tell him) and figure out where you stand on your own two feet.


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## KevinZX (Jul 1, 2017)

Don't do it please, the feelings rushing through you at the moment are perfectly natural, it would something else altogether if you go with someone with the sole intention of revenge, it really is not smart at all. You need to channel your thoughts as hard as that seems right now into something constructive for you, choose something new in your life that can make you feel better, not something that will i am sure make you feel guilty in the long run. The relief you will get form sex with a random is just not how to stay focused, a moment of madness is never a good idea, if you want to heal your marriage then you have to stay calm, find a friend to vent all your feelings to, it is the only way to go, pressing the self destruct button is not an option, you will regret later. 

Love and Peace always

KevinZX


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

I have been the recipient of revenge sex. The first one was a much older woman who discovered that her husband was having an affair with a much younger woman. She did not want to divorce because he was rich and she got used to the lifestyle. She did want revenge though. The second was another wife who learned that her husband was cheating. She not only had revenge sex with me but gave me an STD too that she got from her husband. She was a carrier that had no symptoms. It was a minor thing to cure so I dodged a bullet. There was an engaged woman who learned that her fiance was cheating on her and one girl out for revenge on parents who were too strict on her. She ended up as a drug addicted prostitute, then stripper before finally marrying a much older guy who tipped her big after their lap dances. 

First off all this happened before I was 30. I am 66 now and my views have changed. Revenge sex will never fix the problem; only make it worse so it is a bad idea that ends in disaster. On the other hand revenge sex is great. The women wanted to do everything that they would not let their husbands do. They were open to anything and everything. I always felt weird being with a woman who wanted to be degraded. Some of the things they wanted me to do to them should not be repeated.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned! So true.


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

It is definitely not for everyone. Most will advise against it. I cannot say whether this is for you or not. I can speak from experience on this subject as I have experienced it first hand. Like your husband, I cheated. It was beyond stupidity. It was quickly discovered and I was evicted from our home. Took me no more than a week or so to know that I f**ked up pretty seriously. I immediately went NC with the AP, went and begged for forgiveness and a second chance. She gave me her list of things that were necessary for a reconciliation. Standard items, NC with the AP, individual therapy, marriage counselling, and she wanted to go on a date with someone other than myself. I begged and pleaded, to no avail. One week later, she told me that she had done it. It was cold, dispassionate, emotionless. It served to show me EXACTLY how she felt. It was betrayal, and the worst part of it, I had absolutely no moral high ground. She hurt me exactly how I hurt her. We were on a level playing field. I do not know how we could have gotten to this place without it. I knew that if we reconciled she would always resent me, without her getting her own back. Yes-this hurt like a son of a *****, but, it equalized us in her eyes and she was able to forgive and move on.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

With your raging emotions, someone could easily take advantage of you ..... while you're trying to take advantage of them.

Try to find some other ways to vent and gain control of your feelings.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Never even crossed my mind when he cheated. I am far better than that.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

Not sure, but if my wife cheated on me, I'd probably cheat right back so she knows how it feels.


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

Neelhelp said:


> Has anyone cheated out of revenge? I am just so hurt right now because my husband cheated. I want to stop thinking about him but I can't, I am going crazy. I am just an emotional mess right now. I have thought of cheating just out of spite. I just want to **** someone so he can feel hurt too.


The problem is that revenge cheating will only make you feel worse. You'll still have the same feelings of betrayal and sadness, but with the added turmoil and messiness of you yourself having meaningless sex with someone. Instead, the best thing to do is to leave for awhile to clear your head until you can make some smart rational decisions.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Yea, I had the same urge. And I don't think it's usually about hurting the original cheater. I think it comes from a feeling that the WS has more power in the relationship than you do. After all they can cheat and cheat and cheat and you still hang on. But if you cheat, you have evened the power in the relationship.

From what I've read, when a betrayed spouse cheats, it seldom makes them feel better. It seldom fixes the power structure of the relationship. It only serves to make the BS feel terrible about themselves because they lowered themselves to the level of the WS. But, oddly enough, the orginal WS will usually dump their betrayed spouse should the BS have the nerve to cheat. 

If you cheat, you can pretty much expect your husband to dump you. For most serial cheaters, it's ok for them to cheat. It's not ok for you to cheat.

Why no just file for divorce and get this over with. then you can date anyone you want.

Readers on this thread should read her first thread to get the background. Her WS is a serial cheater who could care less basically.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping...band-cheated-said-doesnt-love-me-anymore.html


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Neelhelp said:


> Has anyone cheated out of revenge? I am just so hurt right now because my husband cheated. I want to stop thinking about him but I can't, I am going crazy. I am just an emotional mess right now. I have thought of cheating just out of spite. I just want to **** someone so he can feel hurt too.


I know you are really really hurting, this is not the first time, you have been living a life of constant pain and torment with this man as he is a serial cheater. I do not understand why at 34 years old you think you must stay with him.
Do not revenge cheat, you will only hurt yourself more. I doubt it will have any impact on him whatsoever, the best revenge you can get is to get your ducks in a row, go see a lawyer, tell all your family and friends about the type of man your WH SOB is, make sure the lawyer gets every penny out of him, start looking for new places, and get those papers done asap.

BTW is your state a no fault divorce state or not, please take action and that will make you feel much better. You are young and can meet a decent man, he is not.


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## UnicornCupcake (Dec 8, 2016)

Nothing good ever comes from a decision based out of spite. Spite is honestly worse than envy.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Neelhelp said:


> Has anyone cheated out of revenge? I am just so hurt right now because my husband cheated. I want to stop thinking about him but I can't, I am going crazy. I am just an emotional mess right now. I have thought of cheating just out of spite. I just want to **** someone so he can feel hurt too.


Yes. I did. And the psychological pain I caused myself was far, far worse that that which my wife's cheating caused me.

It actually gave me a breakdown of sorts and I was on Serotonin for a while as a result.

Please, don't do it.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

This topic comes up quite a bit on infidelity forums.....and you will see a lot of varied opinions.

And that is a good thing......

Because it challenges you to truly self-analyze on the topic.

What I mean is this.....

Those posters speaking of how bad of an idea it is......as well as those like MattMatt who have tried it and ended up hurting themselves worse....are presenting an important point of view that every BS contemplating retribution better think about BEFORE they make an irrevocable choice.

Some people will damage themselves further if they give in to the anger and have an RA.

However, there are other voices of those who believe it helped them overall....like Taxman's situation....or know themselves well enought to know they could never even think of staying if they did not 'return the favor'.....

These voices should not be ignored either IMO.....because for some people an RA will help them move forward (even if that simple truth is disputed by or makes some others uncomfortable).

The real challenge for you is digging deep into yourself, spending real time and effort, to know which type of person you are.

I have always maintained that the decision to seek an RA is a VERY personal one.....and there simply is no platitude or 'one size fits all' viewpoint on the issue IMO.

In addition though, if a BS chooses to pursue an RA....they need to do it with full accountability.....

What I mean is they must own that choice for themselves, and not try to fob the consequences of that choice off onto the WS as a form of blameshifting if they are not happy with the resulting consequences.


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## Handy (Jul 23, 2017)

You might regret revenge cheating in 6 months, six years when you find a decent man. I do not think your H is worth it. do what will make you feel proud in the long run. Revenge cheating sounds like early high school activity.


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## TaDor (Dec 20, 2015)

Neelhelp said:


> Has anyone cheated out of revenge? I am just so hurt right now because my husband cheated. I want to stop thinking about him but I can't, I am going crazy. I am just an emotional mess right now. I have thought of cheating just out of spite. I just want to **** someone so he can feel hurt too.


It won't really hurt him, he would have to have HUMAN FEELINGs to feel pain. It may anger him a bit, like property that has done him wrong. But it won't hurt his heart. If anything, he'll just cheat on you EVEN more. If he made a mistake ONE time and beg for forgiveness - than it would hurt. You could have sex with 3 guys in 3 days and it might phase him a bit.

As other have said, if you want to HURT him. File for D and expose his sorry butt. Don't have any more sex with your husband(sic). 

When you FILE and have him served papers. Then go out and get laid, celebrate. You can do this in a 3~10 days. See a lawyer THIS WEEK. 
If you go out for sex or date in the next 30 days or so, you will likely have a breakdown and be crying.

Sorry, but you will need a few months of healing. Talk with supportive friends and get some IC.


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## TaDor (Dec 20, 2015)

BTW: I have had fantasies or thoughts of RA from time to time. But it comes down to this... We are over one year into R. We have both made amazing improvements to ourselves. We have had some set-backs (which resulted in me thinking about RA). For me to do such a thing would be counter-productive to myself and my family. How would hurting her, help at this point?

It does work for some people - different circumstances, different people, different goals.

But your husband is a long time serial cheater. Don't look at causing physical or mental harm - you will likely not do well. Be strong, divorcing him quickly and moving on is the best thing for you.


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## Mizzbak (Sep 10, 2016)

It depends on why you had previously been faithful yourself. If you saw your vows as dependent in some way on your spouse's behaviour (i.e. contingent on his/her fidelity), then an RA makes sense. But if your vows were unconditional and hence independent of your spouse's behaviour? Then I think you'll find that an RA would damage you more than it would help to redress the "balance". Frankly, this isn't about hurting him, it's about what is best for you.


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## Volunteer86 (Aug 2, 2017)

I guess depends on the person or situation.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Neelhelp said:


> Has anyone cheated out of revenge? I am just so hurt right now because my husband cheated. I want to stop thinking about him but I can't, I am going crazy. I am just an emotional mess right now. I have thought of cheating just out of spite. I just want to **** someone so he can feel hurt too.


Personally I believe once someone cheats the marriage vows are broken so I don't think the betrayed spouse is doing anything at all on the same level as the one who cheated. Marriage is the only contractual agreement the some people expect the party whose stipulations were broken is still expected to hold to the contract. Not sure why one party is held to a standard that the other party didn't keep. 

Now all that said I still think you shouldn't do it. Here is why. First and very importantly if you plan on staying together, as a general rule this will make it harder, though I do admit it seems from some peoples posts on here and elsewhere that sometimes it actually works to give the WS a wake up call to how damaging what they did really is. Unfortunately some WS are just to emotionally retarded to get this without experiencing it. It also seems to even the playing field at least to some, to give a more feeling of fairness. However it's a big risk if you want to stay together. Most likely it will just end up being the final nail in the coffin. 

The other problem is you need to think about the person you are cheating with. Are you just using them? Then is some ways you are no better then your WS. Do you want to be the kind of person that uses people when you are hurt. I wouldn't. 

OK I hear you say but what if the person knows and doesn't care. Well then in that case I ask you, what if after you start you actually end up liking the person and having a potential to have a relationship with them. Well then you have started that relationship off in the worst of circumstances. If you have some shame you will not want to talk about it and then you can't be authentic about your relationship. So to my thinking if you want to be free or want to see if you can do better then your lemon of a spouse, then I say you should just end it so you can be free to be with someone new. It's understandable that you think you can do better, but you have to be in a position to meet that person. If you are with someone else then any decent person isn't going to want to pursue something. You never know who might be out there.


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

File for D. The RA will not help you in the long run. It will help in the moment. but is could damage your self-esteem that your H has already attacked.

Then when you are single, you can date and have fun, but be careful.

Hope you find someone that will cherish you.


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## theDrifter (Mar 20, 2017)

The thought crossed my mind many times after my wife cheated. I felt that it might help me "balance the scales" so to speak and provide some real punishment for her. In the end decided it wouldn't really help me resolve anything. 

One thing I do firmly believe is if a BS believes an RA will help them heal - go for it.


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## JustTheFacts (Jun 27, 2017)

I have read your other thread and I feel really bad for you. You are married to a callous serial cheater. You are tempted to have a RA to "hurt him" but I'm sorry to tell you that I don't think he would be hurt at all. He doesn't love you. Just think how cheap you will feel if you go through with it (RA) only to find out that your husband is unfazed by it. Then what? You should file for D immediately ( I am all for R by the way, just not in this case ). He has been brutally cruel to you.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Neelhelp said:


> Has anyone cheated out of revenge? I am just so hurt right now because my husband cheated. I want to stop thinking about him but I can't, I am going crazy. I am just an emotional mess right now. I have thought of cheating just out of spite. I just want to **** someone so he can feel hurt too.


*Revenge cheating, better known as "tit for tat," or "twat for tip," IMHO, is just not worth it!

Divorce the unconscionable cheater and just get it over with!*


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Neelhelp said:


> Has anyone cheated out of revenge? I am just so hurt right now because my husband cheated. I want to stop thinking about him but I can't, I am going crazy. I am just an emotional mess right now. I have thought of cheating just out of spite. I just want to **** someone so he can feel hurt too.


It's a terrible idea, don't do it. It will make you no better than him. I would never do that. I believe he is a serial cheater so why are you with him? The best revenge is to end the marriage.


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## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

Most who have had a revenge affair say that it is not worth it and it just mad things worse.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

TDSC60 said:


> Most who have had a revenge affair say that it is not worth it and it just mad things worse.


Well, not in my situation. I think it made my wife realise how badly she had hurt me, something she hadn't understood before.

But it still isn't something I'd recommend.


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## Stang197 (Aug 31, 2015)

Doesn't help. And you might just end up hurting someone besides your cheater.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

i see marriage as a sort of legal contract. you agree to be best buds "in sickness and in health, till death do us part"

So when one spouse if caught cheating, it abrogates that contract. After that it is pretty much up to the betrayed spouse on how they want to proceed. Divorce, separation, someone sleeping on the coach for the next year, their getting to have an outside lover too...it is all part of negotiating the contract of how the marriage will proceed from that point on, if it will at all. 

So i am not going to throw shade at some betrayed spouse who after possibly years of low or no sex, finds out their partner is getting some all the time....then they want to make up for those long years of neglect.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

Neelhelp said:


> Has anyone cheated out of revenge? I am just so hurt right now because my husband cheated. I want to stop thinking about him but I can't, I am going crazy. I am just an emotional mess right now. I have thought of cheating just out of spite. I just want to **** someone so he can feel hurt too.


If you REALLY want to hurt him, then file for divorce and leave. This is also the ONLY way you can start to heal.

I mean go **** someone if you want too but it sounds like you're not really looking for some random penis.

Your issue is you lack the self respect to dump a serial cheater. The REAL problem you need to fix is in the mirror.


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

Ask my husband how the RA he had is going for him and us. (Hint: not good)


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Neelhelp, how are you doing?


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## thedope (Jan 3, 2017)

Don't do it. Will just make you feel worse. If you want to F someone else at least dump the person you are with first.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

For all you know, he won't care if you cheat. He already doesn't care about you. That'd be a very foolhardy way of trying to get attention from him or gain back control in your life. 

Here's a better way: divorce him.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

Dyokemm said:


> This topic comes up quite a bit on infidelity forums.....and you will see a lot of varied opinions.
> 
> And that is a good thing......
> 
> ...


This is a sensible view IMO. *The only thing I would add to this is would any BS want to stay in a marriage with a WS who openly declares they will not extend to you the same mercy they themselves are asking for?* That shows a power imbalance to me - where the WS is allowed to continue to be self centered. I don't buy the saying that no one deserves to be cheated on - cheaters do. *But it wont always work* - in some cases exposure is a worse punishment for the cheater than an RA in some cases it is the opposite. I think there is o one size fits all solution to this. 

I agree with @Talker67 I will not throw shade at some BS who goes down this path.


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## Aletta (Aug 7, 2017)

I am so tempted to so he can feel what it's like. It would make us equal in a way. He is remorseful but has not clue what it feels like to be betrayed by the person you love. I hate the fact that I'm paying the price for what he did, although he is now suffering the consequences. I wonder if a RA would ever make us equal: no matter what I do I can't make him suffer the way I am suffering now.

(Things are still raw, his A ended just over a month ago.)


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

Aletta said:


> I am so tempted to so he can feel what it's like. It would make us equal in a way. He is remorseful but has not clue what it feels like to be betrayed by the person you love. I hate the fact that I'm paying the price for what he did, although he is now suffering the consequences. I wonder if a RA would ever make us equal: no matter what I do I can't make him suffer the way I am suffering now.
> 
> (Things are still raw, his A ended just over a month ago.)


I would avoid any impulsive decisions. For you not for him. Then decide.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Aletta said:


> I am so tempted to so he can feel what it's like. It would make us equal in a way. He is remorseful but has not clue what it feels like to be betrayed by the person you love. I hate the fact that I'm paying the price for what he did, although he is now suffering the consequences. I wonder if a RA would ever make us equal: no matter what I do I can't make him suffer the way I am suffering now.
> 
> (Things are still raw, his A ended just over a month ago.)


If you did this you would be acting just as badly as he did. Keep your integrity and dont stoop to his level.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

Diana7 said:


> If you did this you would be acting just as badly as he did. Keep your integrity and dont stoop to his level.


While it might be ill advised it doesnt make the Bs as bad..IMO.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Truthseeker1 said:


> While it might be ill advised it doesnt make the Bs as bad..IMO.


It's still adultery.


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## karr99 (Jun 28, 2017)

Aletta said:


> I am so tempted to so he can feel what it's like. It would make us equal in a way. He is remorseful but has not clue what it feels like to be betrayed by the person you love. I hate the fact that I'm paying the price for what he did, although he is now suffering the consequences. I wonder if a RA would ever make us equal: no matter what I do I can't make him suffer the way I am suffering now.
> 
> (Things are still raw, his A ended just over a month ago.)


Don't do it Aletta, it's just a waste of time. Worse, your husband can use it against you in the future to rugsweep or justify his affair. 
Yes, he doesn't have a clue that what it feels like to be betrayed by the person that he loves, the question is will a loving person cheat on you ? He did what he did because first and foremost he loves himself more. WS's claiming love is just like someone claiming turd as a 5 stars restaurant dish, it's a lie, just a pretty word. If you cheat he won't feel what you're feeling right now, perhaps an ego bruise to himself but not more. 

Take a deep breath and determine what you want, R or D. if you want to D then try emotionally detach from him ASAP, he's not who you thought he is anymore


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## Slow Hand (Oct 4, 2015)

Diana7 said:


> It's still adultery.


In my situation, my ex cheated on me, I filed for divorce and moved out and immediately started dating. Once the ex broke the contract, I was free to live my own life without the ex, regardless of whether my divorce was final through the state or not.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

Slow Hand said:


> In my situation, my ex cheated on me, I filed for divorce and moved out and immediately started dating. Once the ex broke the contract, I was free to live my own life without the ex, regardless of whether my divorce was final through the state or not.


Agreed - once the contract is broken by infidelity all bets are off. I know it doesn't always work and the Ws either uses it for leverage or doesn't care. However what is not talked about is sometimes it does give the WS a dose of their own medicine and lets them know what is is like to be betrayed. And before anyone says well the marital contract can be broken in other ways - physical abuse and adultery are the two most violent abusive ways to do so IMO. 

It really is an individual choice and I support whatever the BS needs to do to heal.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

I could have had this revenge on my ex, but didn't. Once we separated, I just started dating - and soon found a smarter, prettier, younger, and sexier woman. It wasn't revenge - it was simply the pursuit of a better, happier life without her, living up to my potential.


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## Slow Hand (Oct 4, 2015)

Married but Happy said:


> I could have had this revenge on my ex, but didn't. Once we separated, I just started dating - and soon found a smarter, prettier, younger, and sexier woman. It wasn't revenge - it was simply the pursuit of a better, happier life without her, living up to my potential.


Haha, happened to me too. Life's too short to dwell on revenge when there's someone who wants to love you for who you really are. :smthumbup:


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

Aletta said:


> I am so tempted to so he can feel what it's like. It would make us equal in a way.


I agree, it would. Equally low. 

Don't even go there. Your mind is painting a scenario and you think you know how great you'll feel knowing he is hurting and you got a bit of your dignity back. That's your hurt doing the thinking and painting a satisfying picture. 

Well, you may also feel like hell after the deed is done because the guy you cheated with left as quickly as he came (pun intentional) and it may also blow up in your face if your H leaves you because he can't accept the fact that you had an affair. Even worse, he may character assassinate you to family and friends and you'd have no real way to defend yourself because you are as much of a cheater as he is now (that's assuming you care about what peers and family think of you... Some people really do, some don't. I, for one, would want my honor and integrity intact). 

Maybe you want him to leave you anyway... Drop the other shoe, and thoughts of revenge gives you the means of achieving this... Go out with a bang? Just because you're working to heal the marriage doesn't mean he would. The fact he cheated in the first place kind of says he didn't really care about it anyway... It wasn't enough of a priority for him to consider the consequences of his actions. I seriously hope you would know better. 

I get the feeling of wanting revenge. I'd thought about doing things to hurt my ex H. But then I realized that just by thinking about it, I was dumping my precious energy into an unworthy person and I needed to stop. So, I divorced, went NC, and got a better life and a better man. Nothing to me feels more satisfying and I didn't have to betray my principles to make it happen.


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