# Why listening to the people on this site is SO important.



## bigtone128 (May 1, 2012)

Just got over a very rocky Christmas with my family as it was the first one apart....but I, once again, realized the importance of following the advice of people on this site. One of the majo things they say is to tell everyone about the affair - their family, their work, etc....seems counter-intuitive because they might get upset and leave (they left anyway) or you will be embarrassed. BUT over the holidays I spent time with my boys and they are completely disgusted with her and wanted to spend Christmas with me amd my family. then her family gets out of sorts and they realize she is on the wrong side of things and they started to blame her (where it should be) for what happened. Then my son after one emotional outburst by me said do not worry Dad we are on your side we see what happened.......it really all works out. there is goodness in the world over evil.....but the truth must be spoken...like they say on this site.....tell the truth to everyone you know.


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## Labcoat (Aug 12, 2012)

That was the one thing I got right on D-Day. If R is on the table, it snaps them back into reality. But even if R isn't on the table it precludes them from gaslighting with the reason why you are splitting. Had I not done that, she would have probably done a great job of painting me as the cold-hearted bastard, breaking off our engagement after she'd been so devoted.

One of the most satisfying moments in all of this was overhearing a friend of hers say, "Yes, I understand what you are saying, but he's leaving because you fecked another man. That's all there is to it."

This friend was also a BS in her marriage.


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## Vanguard (Jul 27, 2011)

When virtue tarries, evil smiles.


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## Kasler (Jul 20, 2012)

Yes always expose. 

Something good rarely comes out of not exposing.

Something bad rarely comes out of exposing. (It is the truth after all)

The same day I exposed after trying to handle the affair by myself for months I had a support base of family and the old kasler who'd been buried for months finally came through.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

I agree, bigtone128. I wish when my first wife started her betrayals I would have been able to come to a site like this.


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## mahike (Aug 16, 2011)

I did not expose right away, my wife let me believe that we were in full R but she was still talking with that POS unitl I exposed it to the sunlight?

Not listening really cost me more pain


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