# how do I at least make one last attempt



## honcho

Hello, I have never posted on here before. My wife left on March and I am frankly still as lost today as i was the day she left. Have been married 15 years, dated 2 before that, we are both in our late 40's and have no children. 
Like so many I thought we had a great marriage, even 2 weeks before she left she was telling me I was the love of her life, that she was happy. Being a simple guy that tells me all is right in the married world, we dont have any big problems as far as I know. 
2 weeks later she walks into the house, tells me she doesnt love me anymore, she hates me because we never had a child, twins actually, and she moved out and moved in with another man. Ironic part of this is, she couldnt have children and she never wanted to adopt. I know the person she moved in with, we live in a small town, known him for 30 years, so I knew how that relationship would go, after 2 or 3 months he would get bored and out she would go. 
My wife has had depression issues for several years and was taking medication which she quit taking shortly before she left which was about the time her perimenoupausal syptoms starting going into overdrive. She has been out of work for 2 years and working just a part-time job which she is overqualified for. Her father was hitting the more advanced stages of alzheimers and that was taking a toll on her. And one of her beloved dogs had advanced cancer and her time was just about up. 
Its like I hit a perfect storm of everything at once hitting her and its like she just snapped. She wanted to run away from her life and change everything. 
She filed for divorce without telling me, one day she cleaned out the bank accounts out of the blue. One day I came home and most of the furniture was gone out of house and she basically has been driven to destroy my life since then. She calls the police with claims that I am breaking into her cellphone and reading her text messeges, she calls them claiming I am sending spies into her place of employment keeping a watch on her none of which is true. She will send me a text once in a while with crazy demands and refuses to ever talk about anything. We havent spoken or seen each other since the end of May. I told her several times before that when she is ready to address the issues or problems she feels are in our marriage I would be more than happy to talk, we could go to a therapist, meet with her family whatever I would be willing. If she wanted to discusss breaking up the marriage and how we will divide things up etc, we can sit down and discuss that. 
She just refuses to talk, even her demands dont make sense, she wanted her clothes out of house at one point after I finally changed the locks. I told her to call me and arrange a time to pick them up, yet she refuses to pick them up. I offered to deliver and she says she is scared of me, how or why I will never know. Anyway why demand, when you have no intention of picking up or wanting them delivered? 
The now ex-boyfriend threw her out at the end of July, just like every single person in town told her would happen and the day it happens she files a restraining order against me accusing me of breaking into her boyfriends house and stabbing her favorite teddy bear in the heart....I was not even in the state when this incident occurred and had plenty of witnesses etc. It was a joke which finally got dismissed yet this girl just says everyone lied for me cause they like me better than her. 
She has done the most outlandish and crazy things these last few months, she needs some help. When she was living with the other man, she was in fantasy land, it was non-stop partying, he is retired and has money. I knew sooner or later that would end so I told her that when she is ready to talk or when he finally throws you out to not have too much pride, that I will listen, I want to listen and I want to understand what is happening with her life. and if she needs help I would help her. 
Every single person who has met or talked to her since she left all agree, she has had some sort of mental issue going on. She is now living in her car even though she has the financial means to get a house or apartment. I would leave our house and let her have it if she wanted it, we arent in a bad position moneywise. 
So I have rambled, given you some highlights of the year of hell so far, we are no farther along in divorce proceedings as far as any negotions than we were on day one cause she wont make any decisions or cant. Even her own lawyers says she doesnt apprear rational, she refused to show up for hearings. I still to this day want to help this girl out, she is the love of my life. Do I believe we can ever be a happy married couple again, I honestly dont know and yet I am still willing to try and at least get some true closure if that be the case. All the books, all the internet sites etc, it all comes down to communication, talking openly with one another, its not hard, things may be hard to hear but at least its a starting point. 
Yet as much as I want to send her a text and try at least one more time, at least tell her that her dogs I am caring for are doing well, she had 4 dogs, ask her how her father is doing, cause I care about him. 
Simply how do I at least try and get her to start talking one last time. Even if its deciding how we are going to divide up the house etc. It sure would be much easier if the two people who it affects could make some decisions instead of lawyers and courts who at the end of the day just dont care.


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## EleGirl

It sounds like she has settled into some level of long term psychosis.

The first thing she needs is someone who cares enough about her to help her get the help she needs. I doubt you can have any kind of marriage with her in her current state. Does she have any family member who can help her? Someone who can get her to see a doctor?

Until she is rational you need to stay away from her since she is accusing you of some pretty bad things.

As for the divorce. If she will not show up you can still get your divorce. I highly suggest this. Be fair in your offer and ask your judge to get you a divorce .. the judge can sign it if she refuses to.


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## Vulcan2013

You can't resolve crazy. She sounds seriously mentally ill.


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## Chelle D

kidnap her & bring her to a marriage counseling appointment.

Seriously:
I don't know. Sounds hopeless to me. Sounds like you would do better with getting some individual counseling so you can get past her & be able to be happy out there on you own.


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## honcho

She most likely wont listen to her family and I have thought about trying to contact them. Her father was the one in her family whom I liked and enjoyed spending time and the only one she would ever listen to and unfortunately with his alzheimers that is no longer an option. She has several brothers and sisters, all have been divorced multiple times, all dont have personalities to stand up to her. Not trying to sound mean, its actually one of the things I liked about my wife but she has a strong personality and wont back down when she is "normal" Her family wont make hard decisions or stand up I guess. She has alientated all of her old friends, casting them aside for all these "great new friends" she met thru her now ex-boyfriend who have all bailed out of her life too

as silly as it sounds I still am the only one crazy enough to want to help her at this point. While in an ideal world our marriage might be able to be saved, no one can predict that and I have never just said come home it will be alright. This society humors the crazy, hoping the problem just goes away or let the next person deal with it. I guess I am just too stubborn and look at her as being sick and needing help. Im the only one willing apparently and while it would be nice to just say, wait till she hits bottom, well its been an agonizing decent to bottom for me to watch.


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## Wise Fairy

Hi H, 

I am sorry that you are going through this at the moment, your wife and her actions seem very irrational and I am sure you are having a heck of a time understanding all this. 

15 years is a long time to have been with someone, honestly it sounds like you would need counseling just to be able to deal with all of her emotions and actions that have come your way.

Sounds a bit crazy but those hormones can make you act strange, but I still know you can be in control of your actions. Sounds like she hasn't been following her medication routine and everything is off. 

If someone else is involved that's just another problem added to the works, and she is probably blaming you because of the breakdown of that and herself. 

I agree with E are you able to get a family member that may be able to help is there someone you can reach out to for her help you know she won't and isn't in a position to accept it from you, as they don't listen or want to hear it from their spouse that's normal. 

Bit difficult this one, but you can only be responsible for you at this point, and I would make sure that you are getting the support that you need. 

When you love someone it's never easy watching them self destruct, but you know that you cannot fix her. 
Best wishes 

Peace


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## arked

honcho, 

Sorry you are here. No closure is tough to deal with. Your story sounds a lot like mine. Wife in late 40's who was pillow of the community goes nuts. None of our friends have any clue what happened to her. She had a complete 180 degree turn in her way of life. Very small community so I feel for you and understand how hurtful all of this is.

Had the two of you ever been in IC om MC before? Sounds almost like a personality disorder to me. From what I read a lot of high functioning NPDs, BPDs are able to hide their problems from for years. 

I got a lot of help from reading on this web site for men who are recovering from relationships with abusive women and the non-abusive family and friends who love them | Shrink4Men there are a lot of good articles posted here to help you understand what you are facing. 

Please stay away from her because I think she will turn on you during this divorce. My STBXW went from wanting nothing to wanting everything over night. 

Find a link to the 180 on TAM and do the 180 for your own good.
You did not cause her to be this way. You can not control her actions. You can not fix her. Keep you chin up!


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## LongWalk

If she does not freeze to death in her car, sooner or later she will call to ask for help or yell at you. Worse she might end up hospitalized against her will. They may call you, so prepare yourself for more agony

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## honcho

Hello, thank you, I appreciate the comments so far. We have never been in any type of counseling. We didn't have a bad marriage, we didn't fight about money, usually disagreements between us were over little things, what color to paint a room, usual nothing out of the ordinary stuff. 
I know she is off her meds, she told me that, several months ago, was the same conversation where she told me how much she has started to like drinking beer....another long story. 

She already wants everything, its been that way since day one, she just wont pick any of it up after I changed the locks on the house. And really at the end of the day its just stuff and junk, it doesn't mean anything. She wanted this divorce I figured since the beginning to try and make it as easy as possible, get it done quick, Im not even fighting over that kind of stuff, we have a simple divorce with no kids. At first I figured make it quick and easy, get out of her life, quit being the focal point of her anger or fear or whatever. Let her fantasyland blow up without me and then see where the chips may fall then. 
But since the beginning she has just progressed further into paranoid delusions for lack of a better way to put it. She needs help.


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## LongWalk

As long as you remain married, the authorities may contact you. But if you are divorced, they may not. Mental illness is so hard to control because the person who is ill cannot think clearly about their condition

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## EleGirl

LongWalk said:


> As long as you remain married, the authorities may contact you. But if you are divorced, they may not. Mental illness is so hard to control because the person who is ill cannot think clearly about their condition


Yep. Yet our laws say the mentally ill, in a state of delusion/psychoses can decide whether or not they want treatment.


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## EleGirl

honcho said:


> She most likely wont listen to her family and I have thought about trying to contact them. Her father was the one in her family whom I liked and enjoyed spending time and the only one she would ever listen to and unfortunately with his alzheimers that is no longer an option. She has several brothers and sisters, all have been divorced multiple times, all dont have personalities to stand up to her. Not trying to sound mean, its actually one of the things I liked about my wife but she has a strong personality and wont back down when she is "normal" Her family wont make hard decisions or stand up I guess. She has alientated all of her old friends, casting them aside for all these "great new friends" she met thru her now ex-boyfriend who have all bailed out of her life too
> 
> as silly as it sounds I still am the only one crazy enough to want to help her at this point. While in an ideal world our marriage might be able to be saved, no one can predict that and I have never just said come home it will be alright. This society humors the crazy, hoping the problem just goes away or let the next person deal with it. I guess I am just too stubborn and look at her as being sick and needing help. Im the only one willing apparently and while it would be nice to just say, wait till she hits bottom, well its been an agonizing decent to bottom for me to watch.


I understand your concern and desire to help even now.

The problem is that our laws do not back you up.

If you have a lot of money you might be able to get her committed and in treatment until she's stable. But if you don't, then it's up to state paid services and they just do not have the money or the inclination to really help anyone.

You could text her and offer that she comes home. Just see how that goes. But you could be inviting someone that you really no longer know is will cause you great emotional harm.


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## honcho

I understand completely how the laws don't back me up at all regarding her mental state. The whole "mental state" what is normal, not normal is an incredibly slippery slope when it comes to rights etc. I do know in the state I live in even if a doctor would rule her mentally incompetent she still has every right to get a divorce, which I find personally quite weird but they didn't ask my opinion when they made the law now did they. 

Even if she did call me tomorrow and ask to come home it wouldn't happen, I would help her get an apartment or home, would try to help her anyway I could. Her smartest move at this point would be to ask me cause she knows I would do just about anything to put her in a position to succeed rather fail. I decided long ago in this ordeal that I wouldn't just give in to hate and anger. She has wanted me to be the bad guy since the start to justify her "crusade" and I haven't. 

Long term my desire is to stay married to this woman and have a happy life with her but we have many fences to mend and until we can at least say hello to each other its a mute point. She may have changed too much or be too crazy to ever live with again but again time will tell that.


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## "joe"

arked said:


> I got a lot of help from reading on this web site for men who are recovering from relationships with abusive women and the non-abusive family and friends who love them | Shrink4Men there are a lot of good articles posted here to help you understand what you are facing.


very good link arked, thanks for posting it


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## 6301

Have you contacted her family other than her dad? Maybe all of you can try to get her the help she needs. 

Maybe you can call someone who deals with mentally ill people and they can help you get her in a hospital where she need to be and have her checked out by a doctor and get her back on her meds. It's impossible to be rational with someone who is irrational but at least call around. I would hate to see something happen to her when in truth she's really not at fault because of her mental condition. Best of luck to you. Keep us informed because you need people to talk to and we are here for what it's worth.


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## honcho

Well I wrote an email to her mother last night. I havent sent it yet as I am still mulling over whether it makes any sense or not. I stuck to just the facts about my concerns for her health, didnt get into divorce drama, she did this or that kind of stuff. 
I dont want it to come across as an attack on her or an i told you so regarding the now ex-bf. This will be the second attempt to contact her mother since she left back in March. The first time I never heard anything from her and that email wasnt an attack at all either. I really have no idea how much or how little her family even knows about our little drama at the end of the day. They dont live in the same city as us so other than hearing just her side of the story, they havent had the joys of hearing the rumor mill daily. 
I did run into her boss at her part-time job last night by accident and I have known him for years. He even asked why I or any of my friends had not stopped by his shop for a couple of months and when I told him it was because of the restraining order and till that got dismissed I could have no contact with anyone she worked with or knew. He was in shock, he and none of her co-workers even knew anything about it. How can a person who is so terrifed of me, she wont show up for court hearings, not tell everyone to be on the look-out for me.


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## Chelle D

Let her go. 
Don't email the Ex mother in law. You tried that once and got no reply. Her mother is honoring her restraining order & not letting you have contact with her daughter. What does it matter what her mother thinks of the divorce anyway? It's not like you are going to get back with your ex wife. 

Believe me, a mother knows. She knows that her daughter needs psychological help.

leave the psycho ex alone.... let her make any lies she wishes to to her friends ..... Get on with your own life.


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## honcho

The temporary restraining order was dismissed already. It was such a ludicrous claim that the judge ordered her to pay my attorney fees, reimburse my witnesses for there missed work and if she ever made that wild of a claim again he would put her in jail. Her mother is not honoring anything. Our divorce is not done, wont be done for months even it if goes quick. 
Letting her go is different from at least trying to help this girl and protecting myself and getting this divorce done. I dont really much care what people think about me in general, I never have. 
No I have not emailed her mother yet, I still havent decided whether I should or not with my concerns for her health.


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## illwill

Help her as a friend, not as a husband.


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## honcho

As of yet I have not contacted her family I expressed by concerns to my attorney and he relayed it to her attorney. I don't think that would do any good but I told someone and did it about the only way I knew how to without getting some wild claim out of her. I did this on Friday. 

Saturday she totaled out her car drunk and spent the night in jail. The arresting officer used to work for me several years ago and gave me the heads up on the situation. She was not injured thankfully. 

So back in April I filed an extension on our taxes. She had just filed paperwork and I wasn't "ready" to do tax work at that point. Tomorrow the extensions are due so the taxes need to be done. We have a easy return, anyway, we have a balance due of 13 bucks. I tell my lawyer I have them ready, she needs to sign and we can mail them out. He informs her attorney.

Again this in theory shouldn't be a big project. Her attorney then calls and wants to discuss how we are going to pay the 13 bucks, really we needed a phone conference to discuss 13 bucks. I agree to pay the full balance due. Next we have to have another phone conference about how she is going to sign. I tell her attorney I will drop them off at his office and she can stop there and sign them and mail it out. She then refuses that offer because she claims she fears that I will be waiting in the parking lot for her. Even her lawyer had a hard time saying it without laughing. 

So long story short near as I can figure she spent 700 bucks on attorney fees today, just to figure out how to sign a piece of paper and I wasted over 2 hours of my time and my lawyer probably wasted an hour of his. All this for a signature and 13 bucks. 

She really has more problems like her upcoming drunk driving hearing, figuring out what she will live in now that the car is junk, yet even the simple is hard right now. I cant wait till we start dealing on the house value etc.


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## LongWalk

Hospitalization is the only solution


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## BFGuru

Has she had other odd moments like this? Has she been medicated for a while? What is her official diagnosis? This seriously sounds like schizoaffective disorder and no amount of marriage counseling will help that. Does she truly believe you are breaking in? Stabbing her teddy bear? Is she hallucinating? 

She needs help. Much more than you can provide for her and she may not even accept your help, but it almost sounds like she needs a stay in the hospital. I'm sorry. I hope something happens to get her the help she needs. This cannot be easy.


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## honcho

She had been taking Lexipro for 8 years, I dont honestly know what the official diagonsis was. She didnt want to tell me and the pills were working so I didnt press her on it. 

Before starting Lexipro she had become almost unbearable to live with, yelling, mad at the world. She had lost 2 jobs because of her temper that year. At that time I convinced her to see a doctor and they prescribed Lexipro and honestly did wonders for her temper and was the person I had married again. She was always a yeller, but her entire family is like that, I just figured it was learned behavior.

3 years ago now, boy how time flys, she lost a very good job for an incident that was completely out of character for her. Lost company car, phone, our health insurance all was paid by her employer. As with most people who loose a good job, when they start looking for new work, they dont pay enough, benefits arent good etc. Then she wasnt looking for a job that hard, I knew she was getting depressed about that situation and other things going on. She quit leaving the house, always saying she couldnt afford gas etc which wasnt the problem, I made enough to keep us going. She was making the home a prison for herself seemingly with Dr. Phil and Ophra becoming her friends so to speak. 
I got her a part-time job which wasnt a good paying job, but it had lots of contact with people and she loves to talk and I thought having her get out of house, see and talk to people would help her. While it helped in some aspects, she was getting more frustrated, her temper started coming back. This also coincided with her monthly cycles getting less frequent, spotty periods. 

In January she had a doctors appointment and immediately after that appointment she was more depressed. Very aggitated, super short temper. By February she seemed a lil happier, getting out of the house more, little did I know at that time this is when the OM came into picture. He is retired and they saw each other while I was at work. She announced to me that she quit taking her medication 1st of February and by end of February she was moving out of our house, talking and acting crazy and moved in with her OM. Though to this day she wont even admit he exists. 

Soon after this everything she has done has been completely out of character for her. She started drinking, partying hard. She was telling everyone in town the most outlandish stories about me. Then she started telling people she feared me, which I will never understand. Any story to keep up the illusion that I drove her away? I dont know. The stories and crazy texts from her that I was getting were wild, I actually started doing the 180 before I knew there was a term for it back in May for fear of her and what that head of hers was cooking up. I figured till she got tossed out of OM house which everyone knew would happen and normally takes about 3 months before he gets bored it was pointless to talk to her. She was in fantasyland and all I had to offer was the real world. 

When she got tossed out of OM home is when the teddy bear massacre happened. I do think in her head she believes I did it even though the person responsible told her she had done it. It was the OM new girlfriend who was ready to move in. Yet she still went and got a temp restraining order. The police even told her I was not responsible, they knew who did it,yet she said they all lied cause they like me better than her according to cop.

My stbxw has always done this though, she will convince herself of the things and no matter how much evidence or how many people tell she is wrong she just wont believe it. She must be right in her head. She has wanted me to be the bad guy. 

I havent physically seen or spoken to her since the end of May. The crazy text messages from her stopped at the end of July when she filed the restraining order fiasco. She has now found an apartment from what I have heard. Her lawyer keeps spewing out this nonsense that she fears for her life around me to the point she wont even attend a court hearing. Every single person who has seen her or talked to her over the last couple months says the same thing, she talks crazy, she looks horrible. I never sent the email to her mother, figured after she totaled the car even they have to see what a mess she has become. 

And for as much as I want to help her, I dont know how to, heck I would like to just send her a text and let her know her dogs and cat are doing ok but I fear she will just try another order or a stalking claim or whatever. She has dug a huge hole of a mess, in the past when she has done this I always cleaned up the mess cause she just runs away from the problem. Its not just her mess, its our mess, I understand that. She just reacts to the moment without thinking about future consequenses, I tend to look at the future consequenses, figure out what may or may not go wrong, then act. Right now she is too much of a wildcard to predict and even if she called me tomorrow and asked to see me, I probably wouldnt unless there were witnesses around. She needs help whether we get divorced or not.


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## LongWalk

My brother died of schizophrenia. Sucks. Drains energy and money.

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## beautiful_seclusion

Schizoaffective disorder was the first thing I thought of too. Although hormonal problems can also cause psychosis and delusions, so it's possible it's a hormonal thing with menopause on top of whatever she was on meds for. It is odd that she never wanted to tell you what she was diagnosed with; that suggests it was something aside from depression since that would be the obvious guess with taking lexapro. This may have been going on a while but been somewhat controlled with the meds and then you helping fix things when that wasn't enough. But either way it does sound like she's currently very sick with how erratic her behavior is. Even if she wanted you to be the bad guy, anyone in their right mind wouldn't make claims everyone else knew was so blatantly false. It just makes her look crazy, and she wouldn't do that repeatedly if she was just being vindictive. It really sounds like she's living in her own world and doesn't know what's real anymore. I'm sure the substance abuse doesn't help with whatever illness she has going on. The sudden substance abuse is also a huge red flag that it's a mental illness issue.

It's great you still want to help her. I mean when you think about it, she is sick and it's not really her fault this is happening. It's great you want to help her through this rather than just abandon her when things got bad. But you also can't let your life be made hell forever if she's not going to let you help. Unless you can find a way to prove she's an immediate danger to herself or others, it's going to be very difficult to get her hospitalized. Which is really what she needs and may be the only thing that could help at this point. And it's hard to prove she's a danger if she's not in contact with you. Unless you can find someone who is in contact with her to try and get her help it's probably impossible to do anything. Really you might need to just move on. If an opportunity to help her arises, then maybe see if you want to take it. But for right now you've literally done all you can. It's great you care so much about her well being, but I don't know what else you can do. And eventually it's going to take a toll on you.


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## honcho

Back when she first started taking the lexipro, I could understand why she never really said what the official diagnosis was, I perceived it as something that may make her feel embarrassed, what you discuss with a doctor is private. The Lexipro was working there was near immediate results so in my simple world, I didn't push her at all, thought it was the correct decision at the time. 

In the beginning of this whole mess, I thought her actions were just pure vindictive but it has been just too weird, too chaotic, just too outlandish to be vindictive. Even the temp order that she got, the story was insane how she got a judge to buy it ill never know. 

On day one I figured it was revenge cause her relationship blew up just like I had told her it would and she hates it when Im right. At first she filed it without a lawyer but once she hired a lawyer, well she spent thousands of dollars on the lawyer chasing this order, I know how much I spent and her lawyer is twice mines rate. She is cheap, she hates spending money she just wouldn't throw that kind of money away to get revenge on me. Let alone how much she had to reimburse to my lawyer, witnesses etc. 

When she first left our home and one of the very few times we talked, she talked about how empty, hollow she felt inside, obviously her self esteem was low and the OM was giving her attention, she was escaping the world so to speak having fun. I understand that stuff and I understand she didn't feel comfortable enough in our relationship to discuss the empty, hollow feelings or if she could even put them into words. It was about the last "sane" conversation we had.

I could write a whole book on the insane delusions, crazy stories I have heard, her actions during this mess. Some of the stories and the usual bad mouthing divorce stories, lets face it when going thru divorce people rarely say well hes great I just want out. But this fear of me that she has, the sending spys checking up on her, she is telling people that any man I see her with I start making death threats against him cause I am insanely jealous. If she sees anybody I know she will run out of the place, last week it happened two times with co-workers who were shopping. My stbx sees them, she leaves her cart in the middle of the aisle and heads out the door. 

When the police first served me the paperwork on the order months ago now, he "professional" opinion was she couldn't let me go and that is why she was doing all this. She has spent too much cash on lawyers etc to just be vindictive and we don't have some million dollar break-up here. Even today, now that she has an apartment, while in the beginning she cleared out rooms in the house she didn't take things like bed, kitchen items, daily life stuff you need. Much of which is pre-maritial, we aren't fighting over it. Ive offered to her attorney she can come and get the stuff whenever she wants it yet I never receive an answer.


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## honcho

So in the seemingly never ending weird situation. My stbxw since then end of July has not tried to contact me. The only communication has been via lawyer. As I have stated in earlier posts she has asked for silly little things via the attorney.

One of the conficts that has popped up during this is the cellphone she is using. She keeps claiming its her private phone, even claimed it was hers in the retraining order debacle. The issue is it isn't her phone, it is one of the company phones that I work for, she has never paid the bill and its not in her name, its not in my name either. The company has requested the phone back several times to never get any answer from her or her attorney. The sheriffs dept even told her back in July to return the phone and get her own. 

Today I get a call from the cellphone carrier that she now wants to have the phone put into her name and would the company release the phone to her. We have a settlement hearing in less that 2 weeks and I figured at that time we would have to cover the phone and take care of the issue. I informed the cell carrier that we would not be releasing the phone, inform her to contact her lawyer to contact mine and they could discuss it. 

The whole call caught me off guard, after months of her attorney covering every little item, now she is off trying to do stuff on her own again. She knew I wouldn't just release the phone, its never been her property and she had the people at the cell carrier call me when I am not even the person the phones are listed under, the should have been calling the owner of the company. 

Im lost as to why all of a sudden she is trying to handle something again and not her lawyer, the timing of it, why now after all this time and we have a settlement hearing shortly where this could be addressed. And if she wants to fall back on her usual too afraid to talk to me, fear for her life story she wants to keep going with, why would she want to keep the phone instead of getting a new phone number so I have no way to contact her. As usual I am lost of the play here, it doesn't make much sense, it would be nice for her to actually pay the bill but for a person who claims she cant pay for anything to now suddenly wants another 50 buck a month bill when she has had it for free all this time. Im lost.


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## beautiful_seclusion

Can you have the company turn off the phone? Are you paying for it? Who knows why she's doing this, but maybe it'd be best if you stop making things so easy for her. She needs to pay for her own phone and she may just be using little things as a way to keep the drama going longer.


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## Dimepiece

After all this you still want to help her and stay with her lol?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## honcho

the company i work for pays for the phone, I dont. It has been discussed in the past about just shutting it off however the lawyer games have kept getting involved with infringing on her liberties etc and neither lawyer seems to want to discuss or come to a conclusion regarding the phone. 

Its just been a sore subject since almost day one and for whatever reason it never seems to truly get resolved. The company I work for takes the stance, they want the phone back, its not her property, if she wants to keep it then reimburse for the months she has been using it. 

Just transfering it to her name while ends the headache to a point, really all it does yet again is allow the crazy girl to do whatever she wants without any ramifications, she knows its not hers, she has been using it for months, she has shown no regard for responsibility for payment etc. 

As I stated I just informed the carrier to have her lawyer contact mine, they can figure it out. The timing of it all is just strange and her lawyer would not have told her to do this. And with all the stunts she has pulled, well it does make anyone paranoid and second guess everything. She wants to be responsible she pay her lawyer to handle it and quit doing whatever she pleases


----------



## karole

Have the company's lawyer contact her attorney directly about the phone. No need for you to be the middleman.


----------



## honcho

Im yet again today just at a loss with her and her actions. She called the owner of the company I manage and was asking him for information for the divorce which her attorney should be handling not her really. 

Then she almost immediately starts telling him that I am threatening her, breaking into her phone and reading her text messages. The county sherrifs, her lawyer, the judge, the whole silly world has told her this is basically impossible to do yet I am supposedly doing it. Now she has also added on that I am accessing her laptop computer and reading her emails. I didnt even know she had a laptop and I dont know her email. Its just simply madness.

The capper was when my boss said to me. From listening to her she truly believes this stuff. Thats the scary part, she believes it. 

She also got into a heated argument at her part-time job with a customer who I know. According to him she started yelling at him, then he made some flipant comment about our divorce and she became unglued and probably cost her her job. I cant wait to hear how this is my fault too!

Im a week away from a settlement hearing and two weeks away from getting in from of a judge for a hearing. On the one hand I'd like to just avoid whats going on now keep up the no contact let the lawyers handle it as I have for months but this is getting to the point where I am feeling attacked and threatened myself. Im stressed out as to what she will pull next. She is such a loose cannon right now....again. 

Venting and ranting done


----------



## LongWalk

Thing is, law does not allow involuntary hospitalization very easily. Obviously there have been abuses. People ended in psychiatric hospitals and couldn't get out, but generally they have serious illnesses. Your ex to be will probably just become more and more erratic until she is arrested.


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## honcho

There is no way on the planet I could get her committed. Even if we were living together without the divorce fiasco going that that is a huge uphill fight 

My fear at this point is the police knocking on my door with her wild claims that I threatened her life or attempted to break in wherever she is living something crazy like that. How do I protect myself from that, she has tried it once and even after having it tossed out of court she is still months later is still holding onto these crazy stories, its like she is just stuck in a loop, round and round it goes. 

The world keep telling me to "move on" or whatever cliché saying comes to mind, wish someone would explain to her. If she truly fears me that great her best and easiest solution would be getting the divorce done. Am I wrong? She has no interest in the divorce, even her attorney admits that, she just plays victim and is hell bent to wreck my life. The lawyers can only get so far, she wont make decisions, its like she just wants to prolong this. She filed, I didn't. She can wreck her life that's up to her, she doesn't have to right to continue to destroy mine for no other reason that she is crazy.


----------



## honcho

A friend of mine didn't think she was working, he stopped to pick up some items, she came out of the backroom and immediately became unglued yelling at him. She was screaming at him that I must leave her house so she could sell it. She couldn't sell the house as long as I was here. 

He told her she was nuts, she left the house to go live with another. She went on a complete tirade after that in the store and it got pretty ugly from what I hear. 

And why in the world does she now think its her house and she is selling it? Last time she was inside the house was back in May. For months she has just told the world I am buying her out of house. Now its her house and she cant sell because I am here? 

The weird just get weirder to me.


----------



## LongWalk

Hard situation


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## honcho

I haven’t posted on my story in quite a while as there hasn’t been anything going on other than the great limbo land. She left her part-time job and have heard some amazing gossip since she left the place of employment. 

Today was the first time I got anything even close to partial offer from her lawyer which was just amazing in itself. Most was just not acceptable. She would buy the house for one number but sell it to me for a much higher number all sorts of nonsense, basically another waste of my time. I did learn one thing of interest today in that she is now in counseling and has been diagnosed with PTSD which I thought encouraging that she is finally starting to seek some help. What I found disheartening is her attorney is of course claiming that the counselor is agreeing with her that I drove her to this. Yet no one can tell me how.

I can only assume that she still isn’t telling herself the truth yet so why would she tell a counselor the truth is all I can figure. She has always enjoyed the “poor me” routine so I guess she is still playing that. I did volunteer to either meet with the counselor with both of us in the room or meet individually in order to aid in her therapy. I am sure they will decline but I offered. 

Our final hearing is set for middle of February, if no agreement can be reached, the judge decides, at least that is what my atty. Keeps saying. Why do I get the feeling her lawyer is going to find yet another delay for her “mental condition


----------



## helolover

honcho, your crazy X seems like she has histrionic personality disorder.....sounds almost borderline too.

I've read a lot of the books on high conflict personalities (because my X sounds like yours) from this guy. They're all available on amazon. 

Anyways, you may want to peruse. I've picked up some good tips on how to deal (mostly what not to do) with bat****e crazy X.

HL


----------



## Pictureless

Honcho,

My crazy STBXW once called the police on me. We had a bad phone call in the morning and we exchanged texts all day until I reached the point where I decided enough. I texted her informing her that when we both got home from work we would discuss how we would split up. She didn't call back pleading no.

I got home first and was mad and upset that she seemed to not care about breaking up. In my mind, if she did she would have called. She didn't. I got sad and started drinking. Then I started drunk texting her unkind things I didn't mean but said out of anger. Nothing threatening or suggesting violence, just insults and hateful comments. You know what she did? She came home with the police. 

I packed up and left. Long story short at various times we dragged each other back into the relationship. In retrospect, I should have ended it there because she just wasting my time and money going through the motions of a false reconciliation for months. Additionally, she made me Plan B while she detached emotionally. Once she was ready to bail out she did. She did it to me again and I allowed it to happen to myself. 

I'm sharing this because I want others to learn from my mistakes. I did not behave maturely at times but neither did she. A spouse who falsely calls the police is abusing the system in order to get back control. That is not something you do to someone you supposedly love. Why did I allow that? I wouldn't have tolerated that when we were dating. 

It's not love when I asked her "what do you want to get out of counseling?" and she answers "to see if the marriage is worth saving." 

I know now my wife doesn't love me; must not have for a long time to do all the the awful things she did. I was blind, foolish, and in denial. I also know she has mental health issues which she denies. Every single person in her family has a diagnosis and prescription. One of her kids has issues. She even told me SHE was on the happy pills after second divorce. Now she will have her third divorce. Everybody is wrong except her.

People reading this, please learn from my mistakes: you can't fix crazy, and dont let crazy people fool you into believing that you are the problem. Crazy people will say and do everything to shift the blame off themselves, including pretending to be religious. They are the masters of disguise and manipulation. They will suck you in and make you a codependent giver even if you were balanced and happy before you met them. As codependent takers, they will dump you like trash once they realize you are on to them and they can't leach anything more from you.


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## honcho

Well she always had her quirks and a borderline personality. I never tried to fix crazy but thought I had learned and understood the best approaches in dealing with her over the years but alas I was wrong. She has never handled stress well at all, stress always came out in anger with her. Was the same when she didn’t understand something, the anger card would come out. 

Someone else mentioned it before about how the entire family seemed to be on some sort of medication or diagnosis. Her family is very much the same way, her parents are still together yet each and every one of her brothers and sisters have all been divorced at least two times. They are all seeing counselors or physiatrists. They have all had multiple children by multiple people and every single kid is either in legal trouble or in counseling. 

They have family get togethers for every single occassion and they all go the same way, everyone yelling and screaming at each other. Its like a way of life for them. They never seemed to be happy unless they had conflict or disaster. I never understood it. 

Her father told me on our wedding day and I still remember it so vividly when he said to me “good luck your gonna need it with her” I didn’t think all these years later he would be right


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## bmark33

"Thanks pops...you couldn't have told me this before we got married?"

Good luck to you...sounds like you've been through the wringer. Steer clear...sounds like she wouldn't have any problems having you arrested on false allegations.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ICLH

Dealing with people that have mental health issues can be very tricky. Number one - you need to put yourself first. Have you tried IC? Did she stop taking her medication without consulting a doctor first? That can be very dangerous and have severe side affects especially if she is self-medicating.


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## LongWalk

Hang in their, Honcho. You've tried to help her. You could not have done more.

All you can do is ride it out.


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## SlowlyGettingWiser

bmark33 said:


> "Thanks pops...you couldn't have told me this before we got married?"
> 
> Good luck to you...sounds like you've been through the wringer. Steer clear...sounds like she wouldn't have any problems having you arrested on false allegations.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Not sure pops telling you BEFORE marriage would have done any good! Love is BLIND/DEAF/DUMB/STUPID and EVER HOPEFUL! Had an uncle whose soon-to-be-FIL warned him not to marry his daughter (Bea) (she was mentally ill); uncle married Bea anyway and they had TONS of problems!

Am I correct that you and STBXW have no children? If this is the case, I would suggest that after the divorce, you sell the house and move somewhere else without giving her the new address (maybe even a town or two away). I'd also suggest you change your cellphone # if possible (depends on your job).

She has NO REASON to see you or run into you. There is nothing further to discuss. All she can do is continue to cause you trouble at work and personally. If there is information you require, you can always do it through emails.

You can't fix her.
Only she can fix herself (with professional help)...and only if she WANTS to. 
You can't MAKE her want that...and you can't WANT it enough for both of you.


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## Pictureless

" BEFORE marriage would have done any good! Love is BLIND/DEAF/DUMB/STUPID and EVER HOPEFUL! "

This is so true. I'm slowly getting wiser too!


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## honcho

Oh I have already been down the false allegation, police route. She has called the police so many times they don’t even follow thru with the calls anymore when she started accusing me of having spy technology more advanced than James Bond it didn’t take them long to put it together. 

She quit taking her meds without the doctors knowledge and that contributed to the quick and sudden change in her. I was a big boy, I knew what I was getting into when I married her and don’t regret that decision at the end of the day. We had 15+ good, happy years and now a year of hell and madness. Could I have done more, sure probably, could she have done more, sure. It is a two way street. We make decisions based on life experiences and knowledge at the time and we try the best we can. It is all we can do.


----------



## honcho

So today her lawyer files for an adjournment of trial and several more discovery requests for information her lawyer already has. Its crazy but as I feared she will get another extension to continue this ongoing. 

We have an “emergency” hearing scheduled now for Wed on his adjournment request and I am supposed to be out of town on business, my attorney can make the hearing but I hate not being there to hear this nonsense firsthand. These clowns have had almost a year now to sort thru the “vast empire” called our marital assets and now her attorney needs a delay. I knew this sort of nonsense would happen the moment I heard she was now under medical care. I just wish I could be wrong once in this. The judge will grant the extension, I would be shocked if he didn’t because given her now diagnosed mental state he wont push her side. It opens up all sorts of appeals etc. We humor the crazy and she will get what she wants yet again apparently.

I just find this so ironic, she filed and wanted the divorce, yet she has no interest in ending the nightmare. She rants about this fear of me all sorts of crazy talk but wont end this fiasco. I didn’t want the divorce to start with, am still willing to try and help her and all I want to do is end this marriage and cut my losses. This nightmare just will not end!!!!


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## LongWalk

Hang in there, Honcho. Mental illness does not vanish. You need to work out in the gym, date and find a new woman.


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## Pictureless

Honcho,

You can't fix crazy. You can't fix stupid.


----------



## LBHmidwest

arked said:


> honcho,
> 
> Sorry you are here. No closure is tough to deal with. Your story sounds a lot like mine. Wife in late 40's who was pillow of the community goes nuts. None of our friends have any clue what happened to her. She had a complete 180 degree turn in her way of life. Very small community so I feel for you and understand how hurtful all of this is.
> 
> Had the two of you ever been in IC om MC before? Sounds almost like a personality disorder to me. From what I read a lot of high functioning NPDs, BPDs are able to hide their problems from for years.
> 
> I got a lot of help from reading on this web site for men who are recovering from relationships with abusive women and the non-abusive family and friends who love them | Shrink4Men there are a lot of good articles posted here to help you understand what you are facing.
> 
> Please stay away from her because I think she will turn on you during this divorce. My STBXW went from wanting nothing to wanting everything over night.
> 
> Find a link to the 180 on TAM and do the 180 for your own good.
> You did not cause her to be this way. You can not control her actions. You can not fix her. Keep you chin up!


Same here, it's devastating.


----------



## honcho

As expected she got her delay in the hearing so now I am out till the middle of May with our speedy court system. Her attorney filed for the delay based on the fact he hasn’t had enough time to find my secret bank account where I hide my money. He argued that I have denied it and he has asked for information during discovery but since I didn’t produce anything he requested an official court order for me to produce it. 

The court was going to deny then suddenly her “mental state” and under a therapists care came up and now she got her delay. So I have official court order to produce documents on an account that never existed and I have 4 months more of this nonsense. If anyone knows where I can find this account would you please let me know. 

Her stories have become more outlandish and she is back on the stalking, trying to harm her campaign. It made for great court theater according to my lawyer so I think I am onto version 9 of why we are getting a divorce. Her attorney also again tried to get more alimony stating I forced her to quit her job because I put pressure on all the customers and staff to hate her and like me. How long do lawyers have to practice these speeches so they don’t break out laughing halfway thru is my question. Her affair is never spoken of though.

Makes no difference in my state you can only get divorced for one reason and one reason only, irreconcilable differences. Nothing else has any bearing on divorce. So given us humans are creatures of habit, I am sure now that we have yet another delay her attorney will go back to NC till about mid April then start making yet again stupid silly demands, she will have had more months to drive herself even crazier. I sit and hang in limboland as she still cant decide if she wants the house or not and I stare and boxes and boxes of her stuff in the garage and rooms because she wont pick it up. 

And really I have no faith that when May comes the divorce will happen then either, why should I believe that date anymore then the july, sept, nov, feb were going to be the final hearing dates…..


----------



## Pamvhv

Nightmare.


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## LBHmidwest

How are things?

I just feel for you. Seems so familiar to me.


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## honcho

Divorce wise we are nowhere and basically in the same spot as we have been since the start. Still dealing with the usual crazy rantings and lawyers getting nowhere. We have a hearing next month asking the court to have her mentally evaluated as a recent series of events have made that course necessary.

Her side is now counter suing me I assume as “revenge” trying to get me to move out of the house and also to have her atty fees paid by me or some such nonsense. It is ironic because if she wants the house she can have it, yet every time she has wanted the house in the past I agree then she changes her mind. Her lawyer does seem to have a knack for making battles out of stuff we agree on.

Who knows, none of it makes any sense except in the world of divorce.


----------



## LongWalk

Your wife believes you are the devil. Sad but true.


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## honcho

I would wear the costume to the courthouse if I thought it would get the divorce done.


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## honcho

Havent updated this post in a while. Guess what? We are still nowhere. Her attorney has filed for a delay in ruling on her mental capacities and what doctor should see her. He has also filed for delays in the suing me for legal fees etc. The judge of course gave the delays so now I am out until September before we have another hearing date and this will only lead to getting a final hearing date.

If its cloudy outside this judge will grant a delay it is just amazing. I honestly now have lost count of how many delays they have received. To think my final hearing was scheduled for September of last year. And I will be lucky now if I get a final hearing date in December. 

She apparently has been obsessed with getting the house back I think mainly because she has so much stuff she has no where to go with it all. My lawyer wrote up an agreement to give her the home and I sign off on it figure if it gets this divorce going ok. The equity in the home will also pay the alimony she would receive. 

Team stbx receives the paperwork and now she refuses to sign until she inspects the house. Lawyers doing what lawyers do take 10 days and 9 phones calls to arrange a time for the inspection. Guess who didn’t show up for the home inspection at the arranged time? We now have spent a week and countless calls and lawyer letters back and forth trying a “re-do” on the inspection. I figure between the two of us we have spent a grand on this nonsense so she can look at a house she lived in for 15+ years. 

We originally agreed I would be out by the end of September when the lease on her apartment runs out. Last week her atty now wanted the date moved to the 15th and now yesterday he wants the end of august. He keeps moving the date up yet we cant get her here to look at the house to finally agree and sign the papers to take possession. 

Im sure she has enjoyed the drama of all this but even the lawyers are growing increasingly tired of it all even though they are getting paid.


----------



## LongWalk

Sorry for you man.


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## LBHmidwest

So so sorry. Dealing with something similar.

You are horrible so she can justify.

Her inner voice finally won and she's feeding it. Be glad you don't have kids.

I was in years 21/26. Be glad you know now, all you can do is pick up and move on.

There is no reason to try one more time. It will drive her away and honestly... you don't know this now... but you want her away. 

It's so so hard to move on but it's all you can do.


----------



## honcho

LBHmidwest said:


> So so sorry. Dealing with something similar.
> 
> You are horrible so she can justify.
> 
> Her inner voice finally won and she's feeding it. Be glad you don't have kids.
> 
> I was in years 21/26. Be glad you know now, all you can do is pick up and move on.
> 
> There is no reason to try one more time. It will drive her away and honestly... you don't know this now... but you want her away.
> 
> It's so so hard to move on but it's all you can do.


Not looking to try one more time, that train left the station a long time ago now. Im not even planning on being at the home for the inspection, I have made arrangement for other people to be at the house in case she actually shows up this time.

Im going fishing, I dont feel like being part of her self-made drama.


----------



## FisharnEked

LongWalk said:


> Hospitalization is the only solution


is ther really no way she could be legally comitted?




LongWalk said:


> Hang in their, Honcho. You've tried to help her. You could not have done more.
> 
> All you can do is ride it out.


holy crap, what a ride...




honcho said:


> Her attorney also again tried to get more alimony stating I forced her to quit her job because I put pressure on all the customers and staff to hate her and like me. How long do lawyers have to practice these speeches so they don’t break out laughing halfway thru is my question. s…..


At what point do her attornies get tired of this? They are people too.




honcho said:


> Im going fishing, I dont feel like being part of her self-made drama.



Good Idea! Can I come?


----------



## honcho

Well the home inspection drama finally got done this afternoon. I caught some perch and bluegill in between calls from the sheriffs dept. 

She insisted on having them present and police wanted to schedule a new time to do the inspection. Told them it wasn’t my problem we had a time arranged the people who were at the home for me could only stay a short time and its taken 2 lawyers over two weeks just go get the vital inspection time done I wasn’t going to be there anyway so they were just wasting time.

The deputy knew this was a waste of time, told me she was calling and going ballistic all morning on the phone with them because of the intense fear of me etc etc. They didn’t want to come and told me that on the phone as they have grown so tired of this act with her. 

She arrived and wanted to spend all afternoon here, the deputy told her 20 minutes max. She asked the cop to sweep the house for listening devices. He just rolled his eyes and told her the clock was running according to the people I had at the house. As expected she made all sorts of damage claims and took pictures, she complained that I didn’t replace burnt out lightbulbs, yes very important stuff. 

She became unglued when the realized the kitchen was just like it was the day she left, we were in the middle of remodeling it when she left and filed. Why she thought I would finish and spend the money is beyond me. Its just like the day she left. 

Deputy told her time was up, she then started ranting that I must have found out her phone number and I could now track her because he didn’t sweep the house like she asked. The person who brought my stbx quickly shuffled her into the car to leave at this point. Deputy called me up, explained what had happened and apologized to me for the ordeal and reaffirmed to me, they realize which person is having “issues”. 


So my friends got a good laugh, the sheriffs dept wasted time for nothing again and I caught dinner. She didn’t get to make the dramatic scene she wanted I guess, not really sure what she thought she accomplished today. Sure the lawyers will have a funfilled day tomorrow listening to her. The part I still don’t get is the fear of me yet she wants the house. Its not like I am going to forget where the house is.


----------



## LongWalk

Paranoia. She is ill.

Her lawyer is doing her a disservice by prolonging this.


----------



## tom67

LongWalk said:


> Paranoia. She is ill.
> 
> Her lawyer is doing her a disservice by prolonging this.


Honcho she is messed up your lawyer has to play hard ball and end this bs.


----------



## happy as a clam

Honcho, what an ordeal you've gone through. You must feel like you are stuck in a bad dream.

Someone needs to have this woman evaluated at a psych ward. Isn't there a county agency you can call to tell them she is becoming a threat to her OWN safety (not to mention yours?!)

It made me sad when you stated that she told you "you were the love of her life" only 2 weeks before this all started.

I have read that stopping Lexapro abruptly (or any psychotropic medication for that matter) can cause a psychotic break. It's not common, but can definitely happen. Can you talk to her original doctor to see if he can intervene?


----------



## LBHmidwest

The important part, you caught fish!


----------



## tom67

LBHmidwest said:


> The important part, you caught fish!



Glass half full.


----------



## honcho

LongWalk said:


> Paranoia. She is ill.
> 
> Her lawyer is doing her a disservice by prolonging this.


No kidding and I have mentioned this several times to my lawyer. All her lawyer has done is fuel her paranioa with the delays and promises of the brass ring at the end which will never happen. 
He is legendary around these parts for these tactics and all he has managed to do is fuel her anger which is so stupid to do with people with "issues". Of course this makes him lots of money and that is all he wants. He will milk every possible nickel out of her.

The problem with playing hardball is you need a judge to go along with any of it. The only decision he will make is granting delays. This of course is one of the inherent problems with no fault 50/50 divorces is the lawyer have no real incentive to work out an agreement. If they cant a judge will do it. The judge doesn't want to so we spin round and round in circles and the lawyers rack up billing time.


----------



## honcho

happy as a clam said:


> Honcho, what an ordeal you've gone through. You must feel like you are stuck in a bad dream.
> 
> Someone needs to have this woman evaluated at a psych ward. Isn't there a county agency you can call to tell them she is becoming a threat to her OWN safety (not to mention yours?!)
> 
> It made me sad when you stated that she told you "you were the love of her life" only 2 weeks before this all started.
> 
> I have read that stopping Lexapro abruptly (or any psychotropic medication for that matter) can cause a psychotic break. It's not common, but can definitely happen. Can you talk to her original doctor to see if he can intervene?


It is near impossible to get someone committed, the mentally unstable have rights and unless she takes a shot at me or tries to run me over with a car it wont happen.

My lawyer has petitioned the court to have her ruled incompetent but hers of course is fighting this so we have more delays. At least if ruled incompetent the state would assign a guardian and get the divorce done.


----------



## tom67

honcho said:


> It is near impossible to get someone committed, the mentally unstable have rights and unless she takes a shot at me or tries to run me over with a car it wont happen.
> 
> My lawyer has petitioned the court to have her ruled incompetent but hers of course is fighting this so we have more delays. At least if ruled incompetent the state would assign a guardian and get the divorce done.


The movie "divorcecorp" sums it up.
Do not watch all of it if it triggers you but oh what a farce.


----------



## honcho

Well after the vital home inspection her lawyer went quiet for a couple of weeks. She had a laundry list of problems with the home which I had already told my lawyer to be prepared for. 

When we owned a duplex she used to always accuse tenants of all sorts of damage and nonsense to hold the security deposits and it was always silly small stuff no one really cared about so I figured she would pull the same with our home.

Her lawyers response was almost comical. She will finally agree to take the home at the price we have agreed upon for months however she wants me to spend about 10k to finish the kitchen remodel we were in the middle of when she left. If I do that she wont sue me for the mystery damage to the home. It was just a joke like my entire divorce has been.

The home value was based on what the house looked like the day she left, all the apprasials everything have been based on this, not after I remodel. I asked them if they wanted me to put a roof on it also since I am supposed to be this generous. The judge would never order this, her lawyer knows this. I have a buyer who will pay our agreed upon price, I would keep the house for the agreed upon price and for months “team stbx” agreed, now once its actually time to sign the paperwork she wont and finds yet another reason to make a mess out of something.

You really think her lawyer at some point would just get sick of playing games on junk he can never win and get her to finish.


----------



## LongWalk

I would file a complaint against him to the bar association for unethical conduct. As your witnesses you have law enforcement officers who can be deposed to state that on numerous occasions your ill wife has wasted their time requesting protection from delusional fears.

Although you are headed for divorce, you have always hoped that you wife could get medical treatment. If her lawyer had his client's best interests in mind, he would not drag out the divorce, which has become a fixation.

I think your wife's lawyer will be able to defend himself, but nonetheless a complaint against him is a bit of unpleasantness that he may find irksome.


----------



## honcho

LongWalk said:


> I would file a complaint against him to the bar association for unethical conduct. As your witnesses you have law enforcement officers who can be deposed to state that on numerous occasions your ill wife has wasted their time requesting protection from delusional fears.
> 
> Although you are headed for divorce, you have always hoped that you wife could get medical treatment. If her lawyer had his client's best interests in mind, he would not drag out the divorce, which has become a fixation.
> 
> I think your wife's lawyer will be able to defend himself, but nonetheless a complaint against him is a bit of unpleasantness that he may find irksome.


I have mentioned this several times to my lawyer that he should start looking into doing this just to start pushing to get this divorce done.


----------



## LongWalk

Don't build up your legal bill. Simply look up the American Bar Association Code of conduct. Read the ethical guidelines and make up some true accusation against him in calm expository language. Talk to the police whom you remember.

Ask for copies of her reports against you. There were many. When a person is bothering the police and wasting the taxpayers hard earned money, then your ill estranged wife is harming the public interest. Her lawyer is abetting this behavior.

How many times has she made paranoid statements to the authorities? Photo copy these as evidence to support your complaint. For her lawyer to humor your wife's insanity to build up billable hours is pathetic. It is most certainly not in her interests.

Copy you lawyer with your complaint. Don't ask a lawyer to rat our another lawyer.


----------



## warlock07

Can you file some kind of ethics violation on her lawyer ? He/She seems to be exploiting her mental illness for money.


----------



## honcho

Well she finally signed the actual legal paperwork to take possession of the home. Her attorney is still jerking around on the kitchen remodel end of it. We had a hearing last week for the contempt charges they brought against me which of course the day before her lawyer dropped those charges.

My lawyer attended the hearing which was changed from an order to show cause to a scheduling hearing for our final hearing date. Her lawyer made an issue out of the kitchen and all the other “personal property” which he has been wanting to make issues out of for over year now.

Im still lost on just what he is fighting for on the property end. Im not fighting for the washing machine that broke last June. I could care less about all her junk which she already took out of the house and what is left here is just worthless. She is making up items that she claims I have but they don’t exist so how much is fantasy worth? 

Then her lawyer starts up about secret videos that I have and her fear that I will start putting them on the internet to embarrass her. Guess her life hasn’t become embarrassing enough already. Anyway since we have never even owned a video camera it makes it hard to take videos. The rumor mill has her ex boyfriend has some. I did mention that I could ask for copies from him if they would like. I am sure she would like to relive the good times of affairland. 

Like everything in my fiasco called divorce at the end of the hearing we should have gotten our final hearing date scheduled. Instead the brilliant judge who cant make decisions decided to schedule yet another pretrial conference for next month so he can make suggestions on how we should divide the personal property. After 19 months he wants to make suggestions of dividing junk. Since everyone including her lawyer all agree that you cant reason with her what does this judge think he will accomplish with his suggestions. Just more waste of time nonsense.

So with another month before a useless hearing I know figure the earliest that I can get a final hearing date will be January now. So glad we have this speedy system. I did make a complaint with the state bar association about her lawyer. They said it would take a couple months to do an investigation and that in the world of divorce lawyers have a great deal of latitude on handing cases. Who knows if it will go anywhere. 

So at the end of the month the house is hers. When she first left she didn’t want the place. Last November she did. I agreed then she changed her mind. In May she wanted it again. End of May we agreed on price and its taken this long just to get her to sign the paperwork.


----------



## LongWalk

Well, at least you have detached and no longer feel responsible for her mental health.

Good job filing the complaint against her lawyer.


----------



## honcho

So I am in the home stretch now of moving out. My brother came into town to help me move the big items and I will pretty much be in my new place. My stbx takes legal possession next week. I agreed to an earlier date than the end of the month to just get it over with and give her less time to have her lawyer play silly games which they love to do.

I have been having a contractor friend of mine rehabbing the new home for about the last 6 weeks with lots of little projects that needed to be done. Home is smaller than my old home but I gained much more acreage which the dogs enjoy. Since I wasn’t living in the house yet it just made sense to get everything ready and the updating I wanted done now. 

While it made fiscal sense to leave this house after 16 years in it this have been more emotional for me that I thought it would. I have been stuck on the trip down memory lane more than anything. I didn’t think after all this time and this mess that the emotions would play that much but they have. 

I do find it ironic that after all the piles of junk she had moved out of this place, me packing all of her remaining items and now me packing my items that the house would look empty but she still has so much stuff in this place you cant even tell I have packed and move the bulk of mine out. 

So one day of moving big items and a couple car loads of little stuff then me and the dogs are officially moved. I hope that by moving the date up to get out of here quicker helps with the emotions. Being stuck in the limbo of this home and the shrine to divorce it has become has worn on me at times. I somehow don’t think that after all this once she gets back into the home she will enjoy having it nearly as much as she thinks. I know the neighbors are non too pleased she is going to be back.


----------



## honcho

We had our personal property hearing today so we could listen to the judges suggestions. Like everything my stbx has made issues out of everything and was now demanding that she get my taxidermy of all things. She wants to fight me for a 14 year old deer mount and a judge is listening to this nonsense?

So in the judges infinite wisdom he orders that we must auction everything we own which even both lawyers agree was the dumbest decision he could make. I literally have to have as part of this auction the fish in the tank in my office at work but since the tank is my bosses people need to bring a bucket along to catch the fish. I kid you not, I have the dumbest judge in the world I think.

She had a laundry list of things wrong with the house that she wanted to receive compensation for but the judge tossed all that out so I am guess the house is finally done. Like most things with her, now that she has her prize she isnt happy with it. 

She actually attended this hearing at it was the first time I have seen her since 5/13. She did not look good and very uncharacteristic of her. She was very pale. She had gained weight, she wore no make-up at all. Dressed in very baggy oversized clothes. She never once looked at me as far as I could tell and spent most of the hearing staring at the wall. She never uttered a single word. Just very robotic. 

I thought I would have an emotional day having not seen her in so long but I didn’t have any real emotion at all. I thought I would feel something even is it was just anger for the foolishness this divorce has become but really nothing. 

Before the hearing officially started her lawyer was very quick to point out to us he believes she is completely crazy at this point. Her therapist tried pulling the letter game to judge once again with all sorts of weirdness in it which her lawyer was able to get stopped before the judge saw it. All we need is that issue again to delay this further. My lawyer said he saw part of the letter and it talked about the depressed state of mind my stbx is currently living in etc. After that all he said was from what he saw she is still living in the world of delusion. 

I got a final hearing date again. This time its way out at the end of February. I have at least 4 more months of this. I did find it poetic that the date of the final is the 2 year anniversary of her leaving.


----------



## LongWalk

You can probably buy anything important to you back at the auction. 

Her lawyer even admitted that this as been madness.

You cannot save her from her illness anymore than if she had cancer.

Hope you feel that this far enough behind you now to live without thinking of her.


----------



## honcho

LongWalk said:


> You can probably buy anything important to you back at the auction.
> 
> Her lawyer even admitted that this as been madness.
> 
> You cannot save her from her illness anymore than if she had cancer.
> 
> Hope you feel that this far enough behind you now to live without thinking of her.


I told the judge today to just tell me a number and my boss would write a check and get this over with. Both lawyers thought a great idea. Bonehead judge says no let's just auction it all. Lawyers just shook head in disbelief. He finally made one decision in divorce and its this silly. 
State is still investigating her lawyer. I think that is why he was willing to try and deal more today than in past.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LongWalk

Do you feel that you have enough distance from this to start dating?


----------



## honcho

LongWalk said:


> Do you feel that you have enough distance from this to start dating?


In the beginning I felt it was better to not to date until the divorce was final. I never in my wildest dreams almost two years later stuck in this mess yet. Would I like to date and have some fun yes. I have gone out a couple of times. Do I want a serious relationship? No idea. I have been burned pretty bad by this experience. 
My stbx was the only woman I ever seriously dated.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LongWalk

You never saw yourself as a player. Haha. There are plenty of guys like you.

Go to the gym or take up a sport. Being fit will give you confidence.

Also, you have a job. That is a major attraction for women. A guy who is functional. Remember that woman want to be chased. They want sex. The worst thing that can happen when you pursue a woman is that she turns you down. A sense of humor is key. If you chase a woman and she plays hard to get, but you can still smile, then she may reconsider. When a guy who is shot down is destroyed and it shows on his face, then you are out of the game.

Also, try inviting women to coffee just to talk about anything (not your ex, though). Show interest in what they say. It doesn't have to lead to anything. Once you don't put pressure on yourself, you will not be anxious.


----------



## SamuraiJack

honcho said:


> In the beginning I felt it was better to not to date until the divorce was final. I never in my wildest dreams almost two years later stuck in this mess yet. Would I like to date and have some fun yes. I have gone out a couple of times. Do I want a serious relationship? No idea. I have been burned pretty bad by this experience.
> My stbx was the only woman I ever seriously dated.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Just have to trust your gut. This must have been very hard on you. Give yourself whatever time you need and then proceed cautiously.
:smthumbup:


----------



## honcho

LongWalk said:


> You can probably buy anything important to you back at the auction.
> 
> Her lawyer even admitted that this as been madness.


The part that truly burns me up is because she is contesting EVERY piece of property the judge ordered everything sold, even premarital or exempt items. Why in the world do I have to bid on an old duck decoy that came from my great grandfather when I was a kid, things like this. Moneywise they arent worth a great deal its just the principal of it.

I just shouldnt have to buy my own stuff or have her bid me up to keep what legally should be exempt. When I asked the judge this very question he told me he would decide after the auction what was premarital or exempt to which again both lawyers just shook there heads. It is a little late at that point now isnt it. When I questioned the judge more I get the all too familiar Im the judge and can do whatever I want attitude. Now that this judge has actually made one decision finally in this divorce action I imagine I could appeal his ruling but that of course would mean yet another attorney bill. Once you get stuck in this system you just cant get out of it. 

I took very little out of the house that was marital property. I didnt care about that junk and honestly most of it I was happy to leave behind. Yet she just has to find a reason to fight about nonsense.


----------



## tom67

honcho said:


> The part that truly burns me up is because she is contesting EVERY piece of property the judge ordered everything sold, even premarital or exempt items. Why in the world do I have to bid on an old duck decoy that came from my great grandfather when I was a kid, things like this. Moneywise they arent worth a great deal its just the principal of it.
> 
> I just shouldnt have to buy my own stuff or have her bid me up to keep what legally should be exempt. When I asked the judge this very question he told me he would decide after the auction what was premarital or exempt to which again both lawyers just shook there heads. It is a little late at that point now isnt it. When I questioned the judge more I get the all too familiar Im the judge and can do whatever I want attitude. Now that this judge has actually made one decision finally in this divorce action I imagine I could appeal his ruling but that of course would mean yet another attorney bill. Once you get stuck in this system you just cant get out of it.
> 
> I took very little out of the house that was marital property. I didnt care about that junk and honestly most of it I was happy to leave behind. Yet she just has to find a reason to fight about nonsense.


Write a blog about this blacked robe demon and make sure he doesn't get elected again.


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## Decorum

Unbelievable.
Better days ahead honcho!


----------



## LongWalk

So you face the prospect of bidding for the duck with her upping the price? Wow. Well, you can fight her and make her pay for junk you don't want. Drive up the price on some stuff that is unimportant and let her have it with a stiff bill. You'll actually make some money, getting rid of stuff you don't care about.


----------



## honcho

LongWalk said:


> So you face the prospect of bidding for the duck with her upping the price? Wow. Well, you can fight her and make her pay for junk you don't want. Drive up the price on some stuff that is unimportant and let her have it with a stiff bill. You'll actually make some money, getting rid of stuff you don't care about.


Yeah I have thought about just outbidding her too on everything and basically leaving her with an empty house. Most of the junk is burnable and I could heat my new house with it in my wood stove haha! We just shouldn’t have to play this childish game to begin with. She bids me up, I bid her up. I should let her win my duck mounts then once she takes possession of them have her arrested because once she has them she is in violation of federal law. You cant sell, barter or transfer ownership of any wild game, mounts or parts of migratory birds. If the value is high enough it becomes a felony. 

I have received a bid on the fish! I will get my legal team on it immediately and will ask the judge to convene a special hearing for clarification about the bucket issue. This judge is probably dumb enough to do it....


----------



## sammy3

Honcho, you must watch this movie...

Divorce Corp. Documentary. A shocking exposé of the family law industry

~sammy


----------



## honcho

I received a call today from an insurance adjuster. Apparently my stbx wanted to make a claim on our homeowners policy for a new roof on the house that she took possession last month. I asked him what kind of a claim and he said hail damage. 
I asked him when we had a hailstorm because I don’t remember any. He said he was calling me with the same question because we haven’t had a hail storm in several years. He then tells me he went to the home to inspect whatever damage is there and the old roof had already been torn off the house. Any possible evidence of damage has now been hauled off to a landfill. 
The insurance is denying the claim which makes sense and I do agree no such claim should have ever been made. But why in the world would she have the roof torn off, then try to get insurance money. It will cost around 8-10k for a new roof on that house. She is crying poor all over town, she owes her lawyer a bunch of cash. The kitchen remodel needs to be completed and she cant afford that either, now lets put a new roof on?
She is having problems just getting the house refinanced with what we owed on the home let alone these additional costs. It makes no sense and really in the world of divorce you cant spend cash like this. She is just adding another problem into this mess. I told the adjuster good luck when he tells her the roof isn’t covered and he really should do it over the phone because in person wont go well for him.


----------



## warlock07

can the state have her committed ?


----------



## LongWalk

Her lawyer can waive his fees to contribute to the roof.


----------



## honcho

LongWalk said:


> Her lawyer can waive his fees to contribute to the roof.


Well I guess this is my punishment for a quiet week last week. Yesterday its insurance adjusters with fantasy hail damage, today its her lawyer saying I neglected the roof thus wrecking it creating a mold issue in the attic and somehow its also wrecked the deck even though no part of the deck has a roof.

I guess for all these years living there I should have gone and toweled off the roof after each rain and snow so it wasn't "neglected". I did ask them to try and follow one storyline of nonsense because it just confuses the viewers at home the soap opera world she has created. 

Why her lawyer felt it necessary to waste his time and our money chasing this now is beyond me. Its all a mute point considering I was willing to keep the house for the agreed upon price and I had a buyer willing to buy it at that price. She had plenty of time to hire a building inspector to look the home over prior to accepting it or even saying she wanted it. 

The woman just cant live without the drama. She got what she wanted and she isn't happy she got it. I told the clowns this would happen but everybody else "knew better". Im so sick of hearing my lawyer say I guess you are right......


----------



## tom67

honcho said:


> Well I guess this is my punishment for a quiet week last week. Yesterday its insurance adjusters with fantasy hail damage, today its her lawyer saying I neglected the roof thus wrecking it creating a mold issue in the attic and somehow its also wrecked the deck even though no part of the deck has a roof.
> 
> I guess for all these years living there I should have gone and toweled off the roof after each rain and snow so it wasn't "neglected". I did ask them to try and follow one storyline of nonsense because it just confuses the viewers at home the soap opera world she has created.
> 
> Why her lawyer felt it necessary to waste his time and our money chasing this now is beyond me. Its all a mute point considering I was willing to keep the house for the agreed upon price and I had a buyer willing to buy it at that price. She had plenty of time to hire a building inspector to look the home over prior to accepting it or even saying she wanted it.
> 
> The woman just cant live without the drama. She got what she wanted and she isn't happy she got it. I told the clowns this would happen but everybody else "knew better". Im so sick of hearing my lawyer say I guess you are right......


Good grief grab your passport and move to Costa Rica these shysters are going to drain you and then the judge orders you to sell your property to pay the bills.
Nice setup these two have.


----------



## dadof2

honcho said:


> Well I guess this is my punishment for a quiet week last week. Yesterday its insurance adjusters with fantasy hail damage, today its her lawyer saying I neglected the roof thus wrecking it creating a mold issue in the attic and somehow its also wrecked the deck even though no part of the deck has a roof.
> 
> I guess for all these years living there I should have gone and toweled off the roof after each rain and snow so it wasn't "neglected". I did ask them to try and follow one storyline of nonsense because it just confuses the viewers at home the soap opera world she has created.
> 
> Why her lawyer felt it necessary to waste his time and our money chasing this now is beyond me. Its all a mute point considering I was willing to keep the house for the agreed upon price and I had a buyer willing to buy it at that price. She had plenty of time to hire a building inspector to look the home over prior to accepting it or even saying she wanted it.
> 
> The woman just cant live without the drama. She got what she wanted and she isn't happy she got it. I told the clowns this would happen but everybody else "knew better". Im so sick of hearing my lawyer say I guess you are right......


So now her lawyer is a building contractor too huh? Man what sh*tshow. At least by now you've learned to just throw your hands up and say "What else can these crazy people come up with??"


----------



## tom67

The movie "divorcecorp" sums it up it is a 51 BILLION dollar a year industry.
I "only" spent $9,000 out of court lol.

I had to stop watching it when a guy got zero custody of his 2 girls because of a blog he had.

You two will probably stop watching it also.


----------



## honcho

dadof2 said:


> So now her lawyer is a building contractor too huh? Man what sh*tshow. At least by now you've learned to just throw your hands up and say "What else can these crazy people come up with??"


Her lawyer is an expert in everything, just ask him. He has no problems explaining to anyone who will listen that he is the smartest person he knows. 

The person who wanted to buy my house was a building contractor so I do think he understood what he was trying to buy when me made the offer. I probably should call him and let him know how lucky he was he didn't get stuck with my lemon of a house.


----------



## honcho

tom67 said:


> Good grief grab your passport and move to Costa Rica these shysters are going to drain you and then the judge orders you to sell your property to pay the bills.
> Nice setup these two have.


My dad lived in Rio for a time. He loved it down there so maybe Brazil. He used to always call me in January when its 10 below here in Wisconsin and tell me its 80 and he is enjoying the scenery at the nude beach.....:lol:


----------



## tom67

honcho said:


> My dad lived in Rio for a time. He loved it down there so maybe Brazil. He used to always call me in January when its 10 below here in Wisconsin and tell me its 80 and he is enjoying the scenery at the nude beach.....:lol:


Went down there for my birthday in march of 98.
Prostitution is legal there you go to a bar and the hottest honeys swarm within 3 minutes.
Got hammered one night and thought I lost my passport and drove to the embassy.
I forgot I stuck it in the shaving kit.

Back to you time to stop this crap.


----------



## LongWalk

Honcho,

Hopefully you can move on now. Bearing responsibility for an ill person is going to wear you out.

Work out. Go to meetup.


----------



## honcho

LongWalk said:


> Honcho,
> 
> Hopefully you can move on now. Bearing responsibility for an ill person is going to wear you out.
> 
> Work out. Go to meetup.


Getting rid of her is wearing me out! 

Its official. My lawyer has now finally admitted that in his 33 years of divorce work he has never seen one a weird as mine. He told me in the past I was in the top 5 but the roof has now put me on top. Maybe Ill get a free t-shirt for that :lol:

I have worked out some, gained back the weight I first lost when she left. I was never out of shape really so that hasn't been much of an issue.


----------



## honcho

We had a motion hearing yesterday to select the referee/auctioneer/mediator or whatever is the term today as it seemingly changes from one to the next. The judge made a choice and that took about 30 seconds. I am so glad my attorney had to drive 2 hours for that decision. 
This time my stbx just stared at the desk. The judge ordered her to take her sunglasses off and that was the only time she ever moved. I fully expected to have a grand performance from her attorney regarding the roof and all the other mystery damage to the house. Instead the performance surrounded the fish tank in my office at work. He rambled for a half hour about how we had to drag everybody to my office and do the auction there and had a whole wonderful imaginative story about the value of the tank. This time it’s a 300 gallon tank, last time it was 550 and for the folks keep track at home it’s a 150 gallons and its not even my tank, it’s my bosses tank. 

So in the last 2 weeks we have bounced from fights over personal property, what is marital/non marital. Bad roofs and damage to a house in an ever changing story of fantasy and we have a court hearing and they talk about a fish tank. I sarcastically told my lawyer gosh over a year ago that the fish would be the key to the entire divorce. I really did mean it as a joke yet here we are debating that in court and this idiot judge is even listening to this drove me nuts. 

The judge suggested that we just take a picture of the tank and her lawyer said that wasn’t good enough. We had to see the tank. I spoke up and reminded everyone yet again…..I DON’T OWN THE TANK, its not included in prop division and the judge to me to not talk. After all this nonsense the judge then comes up with “ let the auctioneer make the decision”. 

This whole thing is like the hamster in the wheel, it just goes round and round and never gets anywhere. I will admit the fish angle is an interesting tactic and no one expected it so I give him an A for being creative but just how dumb does this have to get. Why not make the performance on something that at least has some value……or even belongs to me.


----------



## LongWalk

What does your boss say?


----------



## honcho

He swore out a deposition over a year ago stating the tank was his property. His attorney today sent a letter to judge refreshing his memory on this point and informing them that if they attempt to enter his property chasing this nonsense he will take every legal action in his power to stop the unlawful sale of his property.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## honcho

And now today she is tried to get money out of my checking account. She really has too much free time.


----------



## tom67

honcho said:


> And now today she is tried to get money out of my checking account. She really has too much free time.


:banghead::banghead::banghead:


----------



## LongWalk

Madness can be a permanent state. She is not medication, right?

You need to date and start a new life.


----------



## honcho

She was on meds for several years while we were together. She decided to quit taking them about 2 months before she left. No idea if she ever started taking it again or if she has new ones. She needs a rubber room and keep away from sharp objects. 
I have a date tomorrow actually. I wish she would finally start a new life since she wanted this so bad and just leave me out of it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## LongWalk

Some mentally ill people know they shouldn't marry. My brother suffered schizophrenia. He had a girlfriend but didn't marry.


----------



## warlock07

Does she look well ?


----------



## honcho

No she didn't look well.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## honcho

Found out why she has too much free time. Guess who doesn't go to work anymore? I just knew that was coming.....


----------



## honcho

Today the lunatic filed for another false R/O. She had six pages worth of rantings in the statement ranging from stalking to her claims that she has seen me drive by the house with my friend Joe to see what is going on. I don't have a friend named Joe. I haven't driven past the house. 

She claimed I am hurting and manipulating her thru my attorney. I am supposedly stealing her mail, and apparently I have been doing this since the beginning as she said I was stealing her parents mail when she was living there as well as other apartments she had. I never knew she was living with her parents or half the apartments she supposedly had. Her parents live about 45 minutes away in a different county. Im driving around that much to check the mail? For what a bill from her lawyer? 

She is scared because I am fighting her every step of the way in the divorce and she feels threatened by this. Funny I keep begging for a court date and her lawyer files for delays.

Every single item in this R/O is fantasy and got weirder the more she wrote. She fears I will snap I am trying to kill her also which of course was the last paragraph along with her begging for help and rantings about how I kept her as a sex slave and maid. 

The help she needs is a rubber room and straight jacket. They of course gave her the temp order because we have to humor the crazy. So more wasted time and money defending myself from her nonsense and this will no doubt create yet another delay in the divorce that will never end. 

It sure is a good thing she wanted this divorce and all I wanted to do was cut a deal and get it done. I do wish she would get over this obsession and fear she has going on. She just wont let go and I got no way to get rid of her.


----------



## tom67

honcho said:


> Today the lunatic filed for another false R/O. She had six pages worth of rantings in the statement ranging from stalking to her claims that she has seen me drive by the house with my friend Joe to see what is going on. I don't have a friend named Joe. I haven't driven past the house.
> 
> She claimed I am hurting and manipulating her thru my attorney. I am supposedly stealing her mail, and apparently I have been doing this since the beginning as she said I was stealing her parents mail when she was living there as well as other apartments she had. I never knew she was living with her parents or half the apartments she supposedly had. Her parents live about 45 minutes away in a different county. Im driving around that much to check the mail? For what a bill from her lawyer?
> 
> She is scared because I am fighting her every step of the way in the divorce and she feels threatened by this. Funny I keep begging for a court date and her lawyer files for delays.
> 
> Every single item in this R/O is fantasy and got weirder the more she wrote. She fears I will snap I am trying to kill her also which of course was the last paragraph along with her begging for help and rantings about how I kept her as a sex slave and maid.
> 
> The help she needs is a rubber room and straight jacket. They of course gave her the temp order because we have to humor the crazy. So more wasted time and money defending myself from her nonsense and this will no doubt create yet another delay in the divorce that will never end.
> 
> It sure is a good thing she wanted this divorce and all I wanted to do was cut a deal and get it done. I do wish she would get over this obsession and fear she has going on. She just wont let go and I got no way to get rid of her.


When is she going to be institutionalized already.
This is f^cking nuts she has such a long history of this crap I mean ugh!:wtf::banghead::banghead:


----------



## Mr.Fisty

Too bad you can't move further away, and just have your lawyer take care of it.

The family justice system is a joke.

I am surprise that the court doesn't get her evaluated. 

Can you seek a different judge, as this judge seems incompetent.


----------



## honcho

Mr.Fisty said:


> Too bad you can't move further away, and just have your lawyer take care of it.
> 
> The family justice system is a joke.
> 
> I am surprise that the court doesn't get her evaluated.
> 
> Can you seek a different judge, as this judge seems incompetent.


I have lived here most of my life. I am actually pretty well known and respected in my community. Ill sound all territorial but im not getting run out of my town by this girl. She isn't from around here and everyone keeps hoping she will just go away. 

This judge is a moron, he recused himself once only to change his mind. I am friends or have business relationships with the other judges in the county so im stuck with Mr. Brilliant who cant make a decision. Nobody has run into a fiasco like mine, at least around here so they are all in uncharted waters. If we could ever get out of the soap opera we have a simple divorce.


----------



## Mr.Fisty

honcho said:


> I have lived here most of my life. I am actually pretty well known and respected in my community. Ill sound all territorial but im not getting run out of my town by this girl. She isn't from around here and everyone keeps hoping she will just go away.
> 
> This judge is a moron, he recused himself once only to change his mind. I am friends or have business relationships with the other judges in the county so im stuck with Mr. Brilliant who cant make a decision. Nobody has run into a fiasco like mine, at least around here so they are all in uncharted waters. If we could ever get out of the soap opera we have a simple divorce.


And my mom wonders why I don't want to get married.

Are you dating, or just done with women at the moment?

I don't think I can go that long without a female companion.


----------



## LongWalk

Did her lawyer help her with the RO? If so, keep pursuing him.

Is the house fixed?


----------



## honcho

Her lawyer is on vacation and left a few days ago. She came up with this bright idea all on her own. No idea on house. I was too busy talking to my new imaginary friend Joe when I was driving by to take a close look at it I guess. Haha She created a mess with the mortgage and spent part of day dealing with bank. They didn't bring up any condition issues and I wasn't going to ask.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## LongWalk

Is the judge elected or appointed?


----------



## honcho

He is elected. He was never a good attorne . Went bankrupt in private practice. Got a public defender job for a few years and then ran for judge and somehow got elected . My case was his first divorce case so I got the judge with training wheels
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## LongWalk

When does he come up for re-election? Go after him then by supporting an opponent.


----------



## honcho

LongWalk said:


> When does he come up for re-election? Go after him then by supporting an opponent.


2016 my divorce will still be going on. I HOPE the next clown is better or less stupid, maybe then I got a shot at getting this done.


----------



## honcho

Got word today that her father passed away two weeks ago. He was Ill with Alzheimer's for 3 years. She was very close to her father and the only family member I liked really. 
My lawyer figures that this will push her farther down into her depression and craziness which probably has some factor in the r/o she pulled last week. 
Every brother and sister she has has had there marriages wrecked by infidelity. They have all been BS. My stbx is the only WS of the bunch and they all know what she did. They may publically support her story but I considering how much her family loves to fight to begin with. The emotionally charged situation I'm sure they expressed the displeasure of her "situation". 

When her grandmother died years ago the family fought like cats and dogs over all the stuff and did it for months. My stbx actually quit talking to her family for an entire year over wicker patio furniture which was junk. And I wonder why we are fighting over decoys and taxidermy?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Mr.Fisty

Every family needs a special case.

Perhaps, everyone should do a background check and psych evaluation on each other , before marriage.

Yes, I am serious too.


----------



## LongWalk

Hope you get the duck back.


----------



## honcho

LongWalk said:


> Hope you get the duck back.


I still have the ducks. They are in my underground bunker with the 40 thousand plus rounds of ammo she claims I have guarded by my imaginary friend Joe.


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## LongWalk

Forty-thousand rounds of .22 caliber bullets?

You're Machiavelli approved.


----------



## Mr.Fisty

imaginary guards are the best, it is like there not even there.


----------



## honcho

LongWalk said:


> Forty-thousand rounds of .22 caliber bullets?
> 
> You're Machiavelli approved.


12 gauge ammo. She claims I have 175 cases worth 150 bucks a case which comes to 43750 rounds and worth $26250. How or why she ever arrived at those magic numbers I will never know.

She also knows that when I used to shoot trap league I reloaded my own shells and even using today component prices I can reload a case for 48.80. Why in the world I would spend 150 bucks when I could make for them for 49 bucks?


----------



## tom67

honcho said:


> 12 gauge ammo. She claims I have 175 cases worth 150 bucks a case which comes to 43750 rounds and worth $26250. How or why she ever arrived at those magic numbers I will never know.
> 
> She also knows that when I used to shoot trap league I reloaded my own shells and even using today component prices I can reload a case for 48.80. Why in the world I would spend 150 bucks when I could make for them for 49 bucks?


So where is your bunker?


----------



## happy as a clam

Having read this and your other threads, I -- and YOU (and most people here on TAM) -- have concluded she is mentally ill.

You can't reason with someone who is mentally ill. The cops don't want to deal with her. My guess is the doctors don't want to deal with her anymore either. Her own lawyer knows she's *cRaZy*.

honcho, for your own well-being, let this go. Don't second-guess yourself. There is a beautiful life waiting for you on the other side of this insanity 

Honestly, your wife probably belongs in an asylum or a sanitorium.


----------



## honcho

happy as a clam said:


> Having read this and your other threads, I -- and YOU (and most people here on TAM) -- have concluded she is mentally ill.
> 
> You can't reason with someone who is mentally ill. The cops don't want to deal with her. My guess is the doctors don't want to deal with her anymore either. Her own lawyer knows she's *cRaZy*.
> 
> honcho, for your own well-being, let this go. Don't second-guess yourself. There is a beautiful life waiting for you on the other side of this insanity
> 
> Honestly, your wife probably belongs in an asylum or a sanitorium.


Whats to let go? It left long ago. At one point in this I offered to walk away from everything and that wasn't good enough. The nutjob wont let it end and the world humors the crazy, so until they quit humoring her I got no real options.


----------



## honcho

tom67 said:


> So where is your bunker?


You will have to ask Joe


----------



## toonaive

honcho said:


> 12 gauge ammo. She claims I have 175 cases worth 150 bucks a case which comes to 43750 rounds and worth $26250. How or why she ever arrived at those magic numbers I will never know.
> 
> 
> She must be using the same WAW calculator mine is using.


----------



## honcho

So tomorrow my stbx has to give a deposition for the r/o hearing. My lawyer filed to do that late last week. I didn’t even know you could do depositions for an r/o hearing. My lawyer scheduled the deposition to be done at my office just to push her buttons. 

She has no lawyer for this and her divorce lawyer is resolute that he wont touch this with a 10 foot pole. My lawyer informed him of the deposition and all he said was “not my problem”. She has panicked everytime we have filed for deposition in the divorce case begging and pleading to not have to go thru with it according to her lawyer. Each time we have gotten close to deposition in the past has been the only thing close to movement on the divorce front which has gotten her out of it. 

The only way she can get out of it tomorrow is if she drops the ro but then it reinforces my frivolous suit I have against her. Given how much she bad mouthed everyone who works for me, her having to come to this building will humiliate her. If she doesn’t show up she is in contempt of court. If she does actually go thru with this it should make for some interesting dramatics. 

When we talked to her lawyer last week he was explaining if she doesn’t come back to earth here shortly he is out. He already has the paperwork written up to sue her for his fees etc. He has his exit plan figured out. She owes him way more money than I was guessing. 

On a plus side, her family bailed her out and refinanced the old house and I signed the papers last Friday so Im officially out of the old one. At least that headache is over with…..for now anyway.


----------



## LongWalk

You're coming down the home stretch.

Send her lawyer a Christmas card by writing to the bar and informing them that he knowingly billed a mentally ill person many hours of service that harmed all concerned.

Your crazy ex should not have to pay this a hole. I am not on her side but he is a bottom feeder who should be punished. You should raise concrete points. Make his life hell. He did it to you.


----------



## honcho

LongWalk said:


> You're coming down the home stretch.
> 
> Send her lawyer a Christmas card by writing to the bar and informing them that he knowingly billed a mentally ill person many hours of service that harmed all concerned.
> 
> Your crazy ex should not have to pay this a hole. I am not on her side but he is a bottom feeder who should be punished. You should raise concrete points. Make his life hell. He did it to you.


The state bars investigation of her attorney will apparently go on longer than my divorce. When I contacted them last week asking for a status update all they would tell me is they haven't concluded the investigation.


----------



## honcho

She did not show up for deposition this afternoon. She met with her attorney this morning and he called my lawyer later in the morning. 

She of course claims she never got the paperwork for deposition. When her lawyer informed her it was this afternoon she told him that she was busy and wouldnt show up. 

Since she is representing herself in the ro. So even though she knew about the hearing even at the last minute supposedly she neglected to contact the court or my attorney to discuss any scheduling problem. She just blew it off. My lawyer then spent the afternoon filing contempt charges against her. 

The saga continues....


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## LongWalk

It's sad. She's lost her mind and her sickness is gaming the system. Her lawyer is a real shxt for trying to cash in all her chips. It's not just her behavior but his that has stretched this out.


----------



## honcho

LongWalk said:


> It's sad. She's lost her mind and her sickness is gaming the system. Her lawyer is a real shxt for trying to cash in all her chips. It's not just her behavior but his that has stretched this out.


I know he has abused the system for his own gain. I had another long talk with mine about her Atty irregularities in this fiasco. After two years he can't even get the simplest paperwork right. He sent us an offer today and he had her assets listed as mine, last week we agree on some premartal items. Today they aren't again. One of my motorcycles that I got as my high school graduation present back in 1984 has now suddenly become marital. One other bike suddenly jumped in value 10 grand over book value. All this we had agreed on forever and now today its different. 
I manage a Harley dealership and he is trying to tell me I don't understand how to appraise a motorcycle. Its just nonsense and he can't think I'm this stupid.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LongWalk

His plan is to bankrupt your ex to get all her money. You should have your lawyer or some other third party inform her parents so that they can steer her to another lawyer or settle.


----------



## SamuraiJack

Well in defense of her lawyer...

Oh wait...did you say Lawyer?

You know whaat Earnest Hemmingway called 1000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start.




Hang in there. Its almost over.


----------



## honcho

Almost over, I wish that were true. She has at least 2 more angles she can play to get more delays. This judge has humored her so far, I have a hard time believing he wont continue to do so. 

The world humors the crazy.....


----------



## Mr.Fisty

honcho said:


> Almost over, I wish that were true. She has at least 2 more angles she can play to get more delays. This judge has humored her so far, I have a hard time believing he wont continue to do so.
> 
> The world humors the crazy.....



The world is a sad place if they get their jollies on that way. Kind of makes you wish that divorces become automatic after a certain period of time.


----------



## honcho

Mr.Fisty said:


> The world is a sad place if they get their jollies on that way. Kind of makes you wish that divorces become automatic after a certain period of time.


The divorce system needs to be revamped. The business of divorce is not this all consuming business deal that needs months or years to settle. Its foolishness. 

The system is designed and will not change because lawyers wont restructure the cash cow. I know one person and her divorce endured for 4 long years, again with no children involved and no empire to be divided.


----------



## honcho

Had my court hearing today for her latest R/O. It was dismissed. My attorney never even had to ask a question. I never got to testify, it never got that far.

The judge asked her several questions and the answers got weirder and sillier with each one. When asked how I was stalking her she said saw what she thinks was my car at a park-n-ride parking lot she drove past to her parents house so I must be following her.

When the judge asked about me driving by the house the story changed to she saw someone on a motorcycle drive by the house and it must have been one of my friends reporting on her activity. 

When the judge asked about me stealing the mail my stbx said she found a letter in the mailbox that was unsealed so I must have taken it and read it and then put it back. 

My stbx claimed she had to move 6 times because I found out where she lived. The judge asked her for an example of my reign of terror that would cause her to move and she said that because the cable bill got forwarded to one of her addresses that I did that on purpose. 

She claimed I was watching her at work but then in the next sentence stated that I don't know where she works now. The judge asked if I don't know where she works how can I be stalking her? My stbx then said she saw a car like mine drive by so it must be me. 

Then my stbx went on a rant about how I have a sex addiction problem for the last 10 years and how that has caused her PTSD which her first therapist told her but that person moved away and how I now "forced" her to take the house in the divorce and now feels trapped even though she fought to get the house back and because I found out about the roof being taken off the house I must be driving by checking up on her and it just got stranger and stranger.

This court commissioner is notorious for stretching to keep these orders in place and she gave my stbx just about every opening she could to find a reason to keep it in force. The domestic violence advocate who my stbx brought along was even sinking and looking away at how lame the entire affair was getting. 

The judge quit asking questions, flat out told her she could never possibly meet the slightest standards of abuse or harassment and dismissed. Told my stbx that she should really just focus on getting the divorce done and move on with her life.

The judge also dismissed the contempt charges and my request to have my attorney fees covered which didn't surprise me I guess but was hoping some kind of real consequence might finally shake my stbx into finishing this mess.


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## LongWalk

Until she is on meds and in therapy, she will be like this. And the moment she becomes psychotic, her paranoia will return and she will blame you. So is with these diseases.


----------



## honcho

LongWalk said:


> Until she is on meds and in therapy, she will be like this. And the moment she becomes psychotic, her paranoia will return and she will blame you. So is with these diseases.


She needs the right kind of therapy. She has seen plenty of them and only sticks with ones apparently that reinforce her stories rather than want to help her. 

I was joking with a friend of mine earlier, if it snows tonight it will be my fault in her world. Its about the only thing she hasn't blamed me for yet is controlling the weather.


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## LongWalk

The amount of time and energy you've put into her could have raised a couple children.


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## honcho

LongWalk said:


> The amount of time and energy you've put into her could have raised a couple children.


Dealing with one adult "child" was enough for me and as many have told me and I don't disagree, I am lucky not to have kids in this mess.


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## honcho

So we had the personal property auction today finally. Yes boys and girls it was as big of a joke as you would expect. It was handled by phone which was against the wishes of the judge, the referee wanted both lawyers too which again was against the wishes of the judge.

I figure between the lawyers and referee etc we were spending 18 bucks a minute so we could bid on toasters and old coffee makers. Team stbx tried to get a delay yesterday in this and my attorney for the last couple weeks has been protesting the list she provided because it was incomplete. The auction guy said no to the delay but then gave the easy out and just say not able to bid, then that item would be left up to the judge. 

So we spent a couple hours listening to her saying not able to bid or bidding ridiculous amounts. She tried running me up on just about everything so I “let” her win the bulk of it. I guess I have no furniture now because of it but it was crazy to try and win the bulk of it. Since she was playing the no able to bid game for most of “the good stuff” I did the same at the end. Her lawyer became unglued at this point calling me just about every name in the book, I almost felt bad….almost. 

She bid on one piece of taxidermy and it was a token bid and the rest she stated she didn’t want so Im lost as to why last month she is demanding all sorts of it and now she didn’t. The duck decoys I got the not able to bid line after the first one was auctioned so what was the point again.

By the end of the auction she was screaming and crying, her lawyer was yelling at her to shut up, yelling at me because I am so cruel, the referee is stating he did the best he could do and its not his problem any longer and mine is stating when you bring a crazy person to an auction what do you expect? Both of these lawyers have been doing this for over 30 years and neither of them have ever actually had to do the auction. Now they can see why as it was basically a useless exercise. Nothing really got accomplished other than I lost the furniture I took but she paid way too much for it and Im not sure if I really lost it or not because she cant have it until we go to court and the judge rules on it and we never get to court. 

Then driving back to work afterwards my best friend calls me up and my stbx went over by his shop and was threatening to sue him because he didn’t do some work at the house that she expected to be done. He was never actually hired to do any work and was never paid to do any but she was demanding he do work and kept saying to him that he was paid long ago and he needs to do the work. Where she decided that no one can figure out. I guess we didn’t fight enough during the auction so she needed to yell at someone else, I don’t know. Makes no sense just like the rest of my divorce….


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## LongWalk

Kafka.

She didn't get your shotguns or ammo loading kit, I hope.

Have you tried talking to her? Asking her to calm down?


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## honcho

I refuse to bid when the shotguns came up. She will not get any and I'll toss then in lake Michigan if I have to. Her lawyer was so mad when I refused to bid. 

I won the ammo and reloading supplies. I find it ironic they claimed I had 26k+ worth of ammo yet only bid 100 bucks for it all. Guess she finally realized imaginary ammo isnt worth much.

No I have not spoken a single word to her since may 2013. She doesn't try to speak to me either. Most of the time she just stares at the wall and when she does talk she just yells and its always directed to other people.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LongWalk

Lake Michigan already has enough secrets.

There is no need to talk to her since you will not have contact in the future. It is possible that you could influence her but not if she is delusional.

I used to tell my brother that he was not Paul from the Bible and he would scowl darkly. Once the meds kicked in he became himself again. Took a long time. Every psychotic episode causes brain damage.

It's unbelievable that on our gun control debate thread, so many posters insist that someone be adjudicated mentally ill before depriving them of their 2A rights. If your ex had gone into a bidding war for your guns that would have been scary for public safety. I would have piped up to her lawyer at that point and suggested that he could borrow a kevlar vest from you.


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## honcho

LongWalk said:


> Lake Michigan already has enough secrets.
> 
> There is no need to talk to her since you will not have contact in the future. It is possible that you could influence her but not if she is delusional.
> 
> I used to tell my brother that he was not Paul from the Bible and he would scowl darkly. Once the meds kicked in he became himself again. Took a long time. Every psychotic episode causes brain damage.
> 
> It's unbelievable that on our gun control debate thread, so many posters insist that someone be adjudicated mentally ill before depriving them of their 2A rights. If your ex had gone into a bidding war for your guns that would have been scary for public safety. I would have piped up to her lawyer at that point and suggested that he could borrow a kevlar vest from you.


I did mention sarcastically that I would prefer she go buy a gun to shoot me with as opposed to using one of my own if she got her hands on one. I do find it very ironic how on the one hand her lawyer is talking about all her mental disorders and diagnoses and the next sentence he demands I give her guns because she wants one. 

Its an interesting part of the argument on gun control about the mentally ill and having to be adjudicated and the rights they have. From family history, my mom, I know ever getting a doctor to say someone is a danger is incredibly hard to accomplish. There is a huge stigma that goes along with mental illness and you can see that on the gun control thread and other threads. They have rights but how much is the hard question to answer. 

When my stbx started getting "weird" I took all the guns out of the house. I secured them in a different location. She will not get any, they can debate the values all they want and I have no problem giving her half the equity that has never been an issue but if they order me to give her one I will go to jail if I have to. 

People have always told me that I was the only person my stbx ever listened to and that is why I am sure she has worked so hard to not be in any contact with me. I wish this divorce would end this madness but it wont. She will keep rearing her head in my life as she needs me as the monster role.


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## LongWalk

She owes her lawyer scads of money. If he pushes her to collect it all, where will she end up?


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## honcho

He is going to push to collect it all. It is his way and legendary around here for his billing abilities. Her losing the house is almost certain. She could have borrowed against the equity to pay him but between his bill and the roof she will have sucked up every nickel of equity and she can't afford that kind of payment. 
Her lawyer keeps sending me offers wanting me to pay boat loads of money but at the end of this she is going to have to write me a check. 
She's gonna end up broke and homeless I guess. Its harsh but that really isn't my problem what happens. She refuses to look at reality not me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LongWalk

And her folks don't see this coming?


----------



## honcho

I have no true idea how much or how little her mom even knows about what going on. I have thought about trying to contact her in the past but has never been able to see her kids as anything other than perfect angels and with all the restraining orders she has tried based on fantasy I'm sure she would try something if I try and talk to her family.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## honcho

My stbx has always had a very love/hate relationship with her family. My stbx would go years without talking to them if they were fighting about something. I think if they tried to confront her my stbx would just quit talking to them. That is her pattern.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LongWalk

When she becomes homeless they will confront a new reality.


----------



## honcho

LongWalk said:


> When she becomes homeless they will confront a new reality.


Watching her family soap opera over the years history tells me they will just bury there heads in the sand until its become a complete disaster. That's what they did when her brothers and sisters all screwed up their lives.

Whether they help her or not, its not really my concern. Im not the caretaker for her anymore.


----------



## honcho

So we had a phone conference with the judge yesterday regarding the fantastic property auction. Our all knowing judge syelled because no one actually followed his directions. We followed the auctioneers rules but the judge was mad we did that so he changed the rules and started issuing property orders. It was just moronic and both lawyers kept telling him he couldn't do what he was ordering and he kept saying he can do anything he wants. 
He even ruled that even though we all agree on certain items and no one cares about value he is ordering a licensed appraiser to force values on the stuff. Its junk no one cares about yet he orders this. 

It got dumber the longer it went and the he cancelled our final hearing for next month because we must have this appraisal. 

Both lawyers agreed after the hearing that we need to file a joint appeal and get a different judge to look at this fiasco. 

You really can't get divorced can you. With him cancelling the hearing I am stuck until at least May now.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## LongWalk

Unreal


----------



## honcho

And now because I dont have enough chaos in my life with the divorce that never ends my work life has suddenly become a mess. 

The company I work for was recently sold as someone made the owner a offer he couldn't refuse. The new guy of course promised everyone would keep jobs etc. 

That lasted a week. Today he tells senior management he is cutting salaries 75% and "understands if we need to start looking for a new job. 

Then he brings in his 3 son in laws to run the place. They have zero experience in our industry yet are already "experts".

It was like the 3 stooges. I figured this would happen in a couple of months after the learn a few things. 

Ya know I just can't catch a break.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LongWalk

Are you senior management?

Are alternative work prospects good?


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## honcho

LongWalk said:


> Are you senior management?
> 
> Are alternative work prospects good?


Yes I am.

Last time I looked there were 3 jobs available in the country for product I have the experience in. Only time they come available is embezzlement or ownership changes. I can find work in something different it just won't be the same money.
Course now that I've been rendered obsolete this means no alimony check that my stbx is so dependent on so I can't wait to see what a mess this creates in the divorce that never ends. She can't pay the bills now let alone remove my donation every month.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## LongWalk

Are there positions somewhere else? But you don't want to move.


----------



## honcho

Its not a matter of wanting to move or not. 3 available in the entire country. Closest is a 20 hour drive so I think commuting is out. 

Its a shame last year I had an opportunity for a different job but because of one of her crazy endless R/O's she had filed I would not have passed the background check with the case pending so I couldn't pursue it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Chuck71

Seen you post on many threads that I have, ran across your story

honestly.... I don't know who is more mentally incompetent, your STBXW, her lawyer

or the judge.


----------



## honcho

I have the perfect storm don't I? I was thinking about a career change anyway. Either Walmart greeter or male escort.... Its a toss up haha
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Chuck71

I did have a gig back in my 20s...... exotic dancer for the blind


----------



## honcho

Had yet another pretrial conference today. The judge finally took some action today. After I showed him the documents on the assets she is hiding and by lawyer informed him she didn't show up for deposition again he informed both lawyers they have till Friday afternoon to get an agreement worked out or she will be in a great deal of trouble. He has scheduled a final hear or contempt hearing for Friday at one. So two years on nonsense apparently comes down 2 days. 

She will never accept or agree to how this deal will end up so Friday should he full of dramatics. Her lawyer was at his Witt's end with her. He told me today she has been calling his office twice a day for months with crazy rantings and wild claims of stalking. 

I have had a couple of interviews. Two firms in Florida and one in Washington. The judge told me today if I moved out of state he would bet she would follow wherever I went since she lives for this drama. Neither lawyer or judge thinks divorce will solve my problems with her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## LongWalk

Be prepared for her to become a street person and eventually perish. All depends on her family and as you noted they are not up to it.

Once the divorce is complete you won't have any ties left, will you?


----------



## honcho

LongWalk said:


> Be prepared for her to become a street person and eventually perish. All depends on her family and as you noted they are not up to it.
> 
> Once the divorce is complete you won't have any ties left, will you?


We haven't had any ties for two years other than her self made drama. The only difference will he instead of stbx I can call her ex.

She will likely blow thru guys shaking up with whoever will let her move in once she loses house. That was her pattern after soulmate number one dumped her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## LongWalk

Crazy pvssy is not worth it.


----------



## honcho

LongWalk said:


> Crazy pvssy is not worth it.


It can be fun for a weekend haha. The last guy she moved in with that was all she needed...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Mr.Fisty

And this is why my generation is less likely to get married. More and more of us millennials are opting for options like commitment ceremonies instead of weddings. Promises are made, the only thing it lacks is legality.


----------



## honcho

LongWalk said:


> Do you think she wants to harm you?


Given her continuing decline in mental state what do you think. In her head she sees me everywhere, I have elaborate spy networks watching her every move. Her paranoia is getting worse. At what point does her warped perspective start telling herself the only way to be "free" is with me gone. Yeah I sound paranoid....live this nightmare for a couple of years and you would too. 

Most of the real problems don't get solved with divorce. She is still gonna be obsessed with her self made drama and the "perfect monster" she has created for herself.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## LongWalk

You need a restraining order but of course it would mean nothing to her. If she went to jail for violating it, she might disappear but her psychosis seems to be a way of life now.


----------



## honcho

Had another pretrial conference today. As expected the judge did nothing as far as backing up any of his threats of consequence. The judge did finally rule to stop alimony because of my forced retirement and her refusal to sign the paperwork. Her last ditch effort to keep alimony was when her lawyer requested royalties on the porn videos I supposedly made of her and forced her to star in. How her lawyer kept a straight face I'll never know. The judge was in utter shock hearing that one. 

She was shaking the entire time. She was terrified to be in the same room as me and was openly talking about driving her car off a cliff to the judge. She was in prime luney today. 

Everyone finally agreed trying to negotiate with her was pointless and set a final hearing date for the end of September. The end of f'ing September!

Told them it really doesn't matter what date they set it will get delayed or something. Its happened so many times now.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Chuck71

the porn she starred in??? OMFG :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


----------



## Regretf

honcho said:


> Had another pretrial conference today. As expected the judge did nothing as far as backing up any of his threats of consequence. The judge did finally rule to stop alimony because of my forced retirement and her refusal to sign the paperwork. Her last ditch effort to keep alimony was when her lawyer requested royalties on the porn videos I supposedly made of her and forced her to star in. How her lawyer kept a straight face I'll never know. The judge was in utter shock hearing that one.
> 
> She was shaking the entire time. She was terrified to be in the same room as me and was openly talking about driving her car off a cliff to the judge. She was in prime luney today.
> 
> Everyone finally agreed trying to negotiate with her was pointless and set a final hearing date for the end of September. The end of f'ing September!
> 
> Told them it really doesn't matter what date they set it will get delayed or something. Its happened so many times now.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


it amases me how we never really finish knowing people. And it's not that they changed, it's that we never knew that "side" of them, they never showed it, maybe hinted it.

In adversity is were we see someone's true character.


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> the porn she starred in??? OMFG :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


I guess I missed out on more than I thought while she was at home and I was working. :lol:

We never even owned a video camera....


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## LongWalk

Renew your complaint against her lawyer. He is clearly unethical.


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## FeministInPink

Mr.Fisty said:


> And this is why my generation is less likely to get married. More and more of us millennials are opting for options like commitment ceremonies instead of weddings. Promises are made, the only thing it lacks is legality.


Not to go off-topic, but to Mr. Fisty--don't assume that your "commitment ceremony" won't eventually have legal implications. Many jurisdictions have laws that recognize "common law" marriages (aka, living in sin) after a certain number of years, and a common law divorce can be just as messy if you or your soon-to-be-ex-partner wants to make it so. Broken "promises" can be just as ugly as a divorce.

At least with a legal marriage, you can get a pre-nup, if it's worth it to you... and a clear date to demonstrate what's pre-marital and marital property.


----------



## honcho

FeministInPink said:


> Not to go off-topic, but to Mr. Fisty--don't assume that your "commitment ceremony" won't eventually have legal implications. Many jurisdictions have laws that recognize "common law" marriages (aka, living in sin) after a certain number of years, and a common law divorce can be just as messy if you or your soon-to-be-ex-partner wants to make it so. Broken "promises" can be just as ugly as a divorce.
> 
> At least with a legal marriage, you can get a pre-nup, if it's worth it to you... and a clear date to demonstrate what's pre-marital and marital property.


The state I live in is like this. Live together 7 years I think it is and the state views you as married whether you are or aren't for division of assets etc. They will even give alimony.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## FeministInPink

honcho said:


> The state I live in is like this. Live together 7 years I think it is and the state views you as married whether you are or aren't for division of assets etc. They will even give alimony.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I think 7 yrs is the standard.


----------



## sammy3

Not in Fla. Does not recognize common law... :-(

~sammy 

hang in there honcho


----------



## Dogbert

FeministInPink said:


> Not to go off-topic, but to Mr. Fisty--don't assume that your "commitment ceremony" won't eventually have legal implications. Many jurisdictions have laws that recognize "common law" marriages (aka, living in sin) after a certain number of years, and a common law divorce can be just as messy if you or your soon-to-be-ex-partner wants to make it so. Broken "promises" can be just as ugly as a divorce.
> 
> At least with a legal marriage, you can get a pre-nup, if it's worth it to you... and a clear date to demonstrate what's pre-marital and marital property.


You're absolutely correct.

It seems that the divorce attorney sector wants to keep its $take in any human pair bonding.


----------



## Chuck71

In TN it is common law if you put your shoes under their bed seven nights in a row


----------



## honcho

Talked to my lawyer last week, nothing going on in the divorce front. Her lawyer sent my stbx an updated billing so both lawyers think she will avoid hers at all costs now as she doesnt have an easy way to get his bill current. 

So in theory everybody will want to fall back into this ridiculous "lets not deal with it" now pattern that is all too familiar. 

In the strange department though I got a letter from my stbx in the mail today. It asked me to drop off the lawnmower back at the old house of all things. Nothing else. She writes that I can just drop it off anytime. Really? The woman fears for her life supposedly the two of us had no contact of any sort in two years and I get a letter asking for a lawnmower? 

I told my lawyer a couple weeks ago that the next "disaster" in her life would be not having the lawnmower for the property. In her world possessions are such a big deal to her. 

I never figured I would see a letter from her and it makes zero sense why she thinks I would even care or deal with a stupid lawnmower. Why she would break her silence over this "vital" component of our divorce is a stumper....


----------



## Chuck71

When is the last time she has made sense?

The Chicago Cubs will win the World Series before your D is final.

She will try to garnish attention by stirring the pot. Anything to resurface things.

Have you offered her a free vacation if she will just move the D along ASAP?

I feel for you, I honestly do.


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> When is the last time she has made sense?
> 
> Too long ago to remember :lol:
> 
> The Chicago Cubs will win the World Series before your D is final.
> 
> I would bet on the cubs too....
> 
> She will try to garnish attention by stirring the pot. Anything to resurface things.
> 
> I fully expected pot stirring, I just didn't expect her to actually try a direct approach. Everything and I mean everything has been done thru other people these last two years and I fully expected some silly lawyer letter demanding the lawnmower and threats of court action etc. Its been standard fare for so long now.
> Have you offered her a free vacation if she will just move the D along ASAP?
> 
> She has had two years of vacation in crazyland, I just want a day of reality to get divorce done. I could offer her everything and she wouldn't do the deal, heck I think I did that at one point.
> I feel for you, I honestly do.


----------



## LongWalk

honcho said:


> I told my lawyer a couple weeks ago that the next "disaster" in her life would be not having the lawnmower for the property. In her world possessions are such a big deal to her.
> 
> I never figured I would see a letter from her and it makes zero sense why she thinks I would even care or deal with a stupid lawnmower. Why she would break her silence over this "vital" component of our divorce is a stumper....


Not a stumper at all. Psychotic people fixate on objects, fears, etc. Their minds spin round and round. My brother got into everything 120 percent. His life depended on getting something or mastering something. Any control of external reality was a sign that control of the inner disorder could happen.

A non-psychotic person can get into prayer to solve problems, but at the end of the day, they know that belief doesn't do anything directly that we can detect. Yet in fiction magic is a common feature that captures the imagination. Harry Potter is just one example.

For the psychotic the Harry Potter world is real. The lawn mower becomes more than grass cutting machine.

I suggest you drop off a couple of goats.


----------



## honcho

LongWalk said:


> Not a stumper at all. Psychotic people fixate on objects, fears, etc. Their minds spin round and round. My brother got into everything 120 percent. His life depended on getting something or mastering something. Any control of external reality was a sign that control of the inner disorder could happen.
> 
> A non-psychotic person can get into prayer to solve problems, but at the end of the day, they know that belief doesn't do anything directly that we can detect. Yet in fiction magic is a common feature that captures the imagination. Harry Potter is just one example.
> 
> For the psychotic the Harry Potter world is real. The lawn mower becomes more than grass cutting machine.
> 
> I suggest you drop off a couple of goats.


I understand her object obsession. The stupid mower is like a gold nugget in her eyes. Stuff and junk were always sore spots during our marriage because she had so much of it and parting with any of it for her was a struggle.

This why I keep telling the lawyers that the next problem or issue will revolve around something like this. They look at me like I'm nuts but time after time it plays out exactly that way. 

What I can't figure is her sending me a letter. I'm the monster in her world and focal point of everything wrong in that mixed up head of hers. She has done everything in her power to not deal with me. Why the direct approach now when she knows full well I'm not gonna just drop it off at the old house. Even if I wanted to I'll end up with some swat team arresting me because I went by the old house on my heavily modified urban assault lawnmower or some such fantasy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## LongWalk

I would make another complaint to the bar ethics board against her lawyer.



> Dear Chairman,
> 
> I am writing to make a formal complaint about the unethical professional conduct of (her lawyer's name and address). My estranged wife suffers from grave mental illness. She is psychotic and delusional. Her lawyer constantly raises new issues or complaints about the settlement of our divorce, so that no end to the process can occur.
> 
> This is not a question of a rational contest over assets. My estranged spouse has created arguments and conflicts over non-existent items. We find ourselves in discussions about fish tanks, lawn mowers, old taxidermy specimens, etc. If I could finalize my divorce by giving her a fish tank, lawn mower or stuffed bird, I would do it. The problem is that something new will arise.
> 
> Among the items my wife, from whom I have been separated for almost 3 years, demands is a shotgun. Does her lawyer seriously want her to have a weapon?
> 
> I doubt that my wife can pay her legal fees. So what is the purpose of fighting on and on? She cannot manage her personal affairs and will eventually be forced to sell the house that she received as a share of our communal property.
> 
> In short my wife's lawyer is simply speeding her on the way to bankruptcy. I fear she will end up homeless. It is unethical fuel a delusional client's mania. He shows no compassion for her a human being.
> 
> Sincerely yours,
> 
> Honcho


----------



## Chuck71

honcho said:


> Even if I wanted to I'll end up with some swat team arresting me because I went by the old house on my heavily modified urban assault lawnmower or some such fantasy.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: OMFG


----------



## tom67

Even if I wanted to I'll end up with some swat team arresting me because I went by the old house on my heavily modified urban assault lawnmower or some such fantasy.

You may be giving LBHmidwest some ideas here.


----------



## honcho

It cuts grass great haha


----------



## honcho

LongWalk said:


> I would make another complaint to the bar ethics board against her lawyer.


Your letter is far better than one I sent.


----------



## LongWalk

A letter can often be better with a rewrite. Send another one.

Her lawyer is fleecing her to no purpose but her destruction.


----------



## honcho

Its been a couple of months.

Divorce front nothing is going on. My lawyer has attempted to contact hers but her lawyer is apparently "unavailable". The last time the two spoke her lawyer said he has heard nothing from his client in regards to anything but this was quite a while ago now. I can only assume at this point they still aren't talking. 

Late last week I received a letter from the bank and they are calling the mortgage on the house for back property taxes. That is supposed to happen on the 15th. At the end of July the mortgage was due for renewal anyway so whether they call it now or then its just a matter of time. The bank told me a year ago that she had financing all approved and set up, all I needed to do was sign the quit claim deed and it would be complete only to have none of that come true. 

Since I have no legal claim to the property any longer I certainly wouldn't renew the loan and last time I spoke to the bank they said they wouldn't give her a loan until the divorce was final. So this will quickly become the latest mess in the divorce that never ends. 

I was hoping that this would force her out of hiding and get these lawyers at least trying to do something but that apparently isn't going to be the case. Not really sure what to make of this now. Her lawyer isn't getting paid so he isn't going to do new work for her, she avoids him because she owes him money and it would be safe to assume if she had cash she would pay the prop taxes she is behind on. 

She will probably do what she has almost always done and that's avoid and hope I take care of it for her. 

Well if they foreclose on the house, she probably wont be too worried about the lawnmower....


----------



## Chuck71

Maybe you will get D by 2020....... the old Mr. Fixer left the building a good while back.

Maybe she can get the judge to pay her property tax....


----------



## GusPolinski

Geez... how long before a judge w/ half a brain simply grants you a divorce?


----------



## honcho

GusPolinski said:


> Geez... how long before a judge w/ half a brain simply grants you a divorce?


Could I get a judge with half a brain? This dimwit is up for re-election in a year and half. My best shot to divorce will probably be the next guy.


----------



## Chuck71

Why do I think of Wizard of Oz everytime the judge comes up?????


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> Why do I think of Wizard of Oz everytime the judge comes up?????


I tend to think of something I scrape off my shoe when the judge comes up.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LongWalk

Shame about the house. Foreclosure has been her lawyer's plan all along.

Maybe you can find some way to generate aid the opposing candidate who runs against him.


----------



## honcho

LongWalk said:


> Shame about the house. Foreclosure has been her lawyer's plan all along.
> 
> Maybe you can find some way to generate aid the opposing candidate who runs against him.


Why do you think foreclosure was part of her lawyers plan?


----------



## honcho

LongWalk said:


> Shame about the house. Foreclosure has been her lawyer's plan all along.
> 
> Maybe you can find some way to generate aid the opposing candidate who runs against him.


The "bigwigs" in this county are already figuring out who they want as the next judge. This guy will be a one termer. Mine isn't the only case he has handled so brilliantly.


----------



## LongWalk

He must have realized your eventual ex to be was headed towards bankruptcy. The house of a point of contention that he helped her negotiate. Once she stopped paying her bills he just pushed her forward and over the cliff.

Since he had already lost his money (all the hours billed) he could have stopped encouraging her intransigence. Perhaps he could not gotten her on board but he could have refused to empower her crazy demands. Fish tank, shotgun shell factory, etc.


----------



## honcho

LongWalk said:


> He must have realized your eventual ex to be was headed towards bankruptcy. The house of a point of contention that he helped her negotiate. Once she stopped paying her bills he just pushed her forward and over the cliff.
> 
> Since he had already lost his money (all the hours billed) he could have stopped encouraging her intransigence. Perhaps he could not gotten her on board but he could have refused to empower her crazy demands. Fish tank, shotgun shell factory, etc.


Maybe I really cant figure his silliness out some times. I understood his zeal of make money off her but that ship sailed ago. He didn't want her to have the house. He wanted me to write a big fat check for the equity so he would get paid. Once she got the house I figured she would just have to eat up the equity in new loan on house to pay him. 

Oh well Im still trying to decide just how much of wwIII will start if I buy the house out of foreclosure and evict her. Pretty sure she would not be pleased >


----------



## LongWalk

Are you sentimentally attached to the house?


----------



## honcho

LongWalk said:


> Are you sentimentally attached to the house?


No I'm not attached. House was in good location. We had a great deal of equity, our mortgage balance was quite low actually. The original theory behind giving up house was the equity would cover any potential future alimony claim and this would make her "happy" and divorce would get done. We all know how well the happy part has worked.....

Money and numbers buying my old place out of foreclosure would be a good buy even if she trashed the place.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Chuck71

Rational thought + disordered spouse = Trying to schit upstream 

It would be nice to see you get the place in foreclosure. Invite XW, her lawyer, and judge over

for a nice Mexican dinner. Reveal the burrito's contaminates include horse schit

That's all you've seen for what, two years? Then throw them out on their arse


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> Rational thought + disordered spouse = Trying to schit upstream
> 
> It would be nice to see you get the place in foreclosure. Invite XW, her lawyer, and judge over
> 
> for a nice Mexican dinner. Reveal the burrito's contaminates include horse schit
> 
> That's all you've seen for what, two years? Then throw them out on their arse


I'm over two years in this amicable divorce. I hate to say it cause I generally don't hold a grudge but it would be worth the cost just for the look on her face as she hauled all that precious crap out of the house. 

My old boss would float me the cash to do it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## honcho

Well we have depositions set up for next week and her lawyer finally came out of hiding today. He sent another joke offer in hopes of getting a deal done before deposition. This is the familiar broken record he has done numerous times already. 

Had a phone conference this afternoon at which point I declined his generous offer which he had already admitted he didn't consult his client and she probably wouldn't accept it either. So after wasting everyone's time yet again he announces he is going to quit and eat his bill just to be out of this case. He is so sick of her he just wants out.

I expected he would either quit or she would fire him before deposition. I hate when I'm right at times. But I did win the hundred dollar bet with my lawyer... Vegas here I come haha. 

Her lawyer actually told me today if I dropped off the lawnmower that would go a long way in pleasing her. Really? I think I heard that same line when she got the house. Amazing the junk people worry about.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Chuck71

Sad you can't "walk away" as easily as the lawyer did. The lucky @#$%^^%$$


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> Sad you can't "walk away" as easily as the lawyer did. The lucky @#$%^^%$$


He can quit but he won't be rid of her. I already bet my lawyer double or nothing she tries and sues him for what she already paid him. She stands no real chance at winning but then my "lovely bride" never listens to reason. 

So she will sue, she will lose and play her victim I've been treated so unfairly routine. 

Meanwhile whether she likes it or not she is due for deposition next week. Lawyer or not she must testify. She has not shown up before and the judge was pretty clear this time she had better find time in her busy schedule to attend. Maybe just maybe the judge will do something this time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Absurdist

My god Honcho. I just read your entire thread. Almost makes me ashamed to be a lawyer. This is worse than Franz Kafka's The Trial.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## aine

Honcho, sounds like you are living in a nightmare, hope you get rid of this and are able to move on with your life.


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## Pluto2

Expect another delay while she locates new counsel, most judges are pretty lenient about granting those-up to a point.


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## soccermom2three

I hope she doesn't she doesn't show up.


----------



## honcho

Pluto2 said:


> Expect another delay while she locates new counsel, most judges are pretty lenient about granting those-up to a point.


Having had I think 7 delays now I won't be shocked if delayed again. This was going to happen either now or in September when our next official court hearing is. I'd rather it be now.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## McDean

I feel for you Honcho. Ironically I just posted a thread that talks about this pattern, though admittedly you have moved down the negative path without much hope for recovery. This being said, it was eerily strange how similar our stories started! It's a pattern I keep seeing repeated over and over in several threads on here....whatever breaks inside our wives heads or hearts seemingly changes them overnight from whom we've always known and loved.

Agree with the rest on where you are now, hoping for you that the delay doesn't happen and life can move forward once again!


----------



## Decorum

SMH, someday it will be behind you.


----------



## LongWalk

The disappearance of her lawyer can only make things easier. Your complaint against him to the bar probably echoed in his head.

As to the lawn mower, well, just shows he doesn't understand mental illness.

Hang in there, Honcho. Your nearing the end.


----------



## honcho

We had deposition set up for this morning. In the past she has failed to show up or use excuses to avoid deposition more times than I can count over the last two years. 

Today she actually showed up and the court reporter never showed up. So another futile effort. I am cursed!!!

Aside from deposition she was required to produce all the missing financial information which she failed to bring. Guess my lawyer will be filing junk with the judge to show the stuff she is failing to disclose. In the past this judge has said if I can prove she is hiding stuff he will order her to pay my Atty fees. Let's see how he likes the proof of about 40k in hidden accounts. 

In the land of the weird since the lawnmower has now become the focal point of her universe she is claiming to be cutting the grass at the house with a knife....yes a knife. My lawyer laughed it was so unbelievable. Out of curiosity I called my old neighbor after the fiasco today. First words out of his mouth were "you can't believe how your crazy wife is cutting the grass.... "

The yard is 2 acres and she is out there every day with a knife. A scissors might be quicker haha. I didn't see her today but my lawyer said she has gained even more weight and looks much worse than she did a few months ago. The downward spiral continues for her apparently.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Chuck71

We should stop interrogating known terrorists and send them to your BSC XWs place SMFH

She is the type to cut her nose off just so you have to look at her for a split second

Just wait until the septic tank needs pumped...... LOL think she may cipher it out since she can't afford

a poop wagon?


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> We should stop interrogating known terrorists and send them to your BSC XWs place SMFH
> 
> She is the type to cut her nose off just so you have to look at her for a split second
> 
> Just wait until the septic tank needs pumped...... LOL think she may cipher it out since she can't afford
> 
> a poop wagon?


Our septic probably wouldn't pass inspection. In order to officially become her house the county will require an inspection. The foreclosure should take care of poop drama I hope.

You have of course now jinxed me on this you know that haha.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## LongWalk

Wow, she is a sad case.

The illness is a real torment.


----------



## honcho

LongWalk said:


> Wow, she is a sad case.
> 
> The illness is a real torment.


Yes it is
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## honcho

Well after 2 years of trying and I think 7 no shows my stbx finally showed up for deposition. Her mother paid a chunk of cash to her lawyer so even though he quit he is back in to run up another bill I guess.

First thing that struck me is she is hair is now totally grey. My lawyer commented at the first break she looks like she has aged 10 years in the last year. For kicks I asked the court reporter how old she was and he guessed late 50's and she is 49. Back when we were "happily married" people used to guess her age in the 30's. Not that it matters really, it just surprised me the changes. 

She finally signed the waiver of alimony that the judge ordered back in February. She had constantly refused to sign however at the start of deposition since she had not signed we could ask her about her affair. My attorney asked who person x was, she said nothing and signed. That girl will go to the grave and never admit the affair. 

The good news out of deposition was she lied numerous times regarding the financials. When asked about checking/saving accounts she is hiding she said they didn't exist. When presented the statements she said the bank must have made an error. She did this over and over with the financial stuff. Lie then say it's the banks fault or investment company fault or clerical error. It was just silly after a while. 

We asked about her jewelry, at first it didn't exist. Then when asked about specific pieces she claimed they were gifts. When my lawyer asked where the jewelry was she said at home. When my lawyer told her he had it in his possession she was completely oblivious. When he asked if she wanted her jewelry her answer was she didn't know. A woman obsessed with lawnmowers and teddy bears but isn't interested in jewelry worth thousands of dollars?

She testified I had destroyed the house both the inside and outside. When asked about outside destruction she said I didn't pull weeds in the landscaping. When she discussed the inside damage she had this intricate story about how I wrecked the roof which caused mold and water was coming down inside the wall going all the way to basement wrecking walls, floors etc etc. The story was very detailed and didn't make a bit of sense, her lawyer was shaking his head in disbelief while she was going on and on before he shouted at her to shut up. 

When asked why she didn't address any of these issues after her inspection of the home she again had this elaborate story about how we had a written agreement to do a second inspection two weeks after the first, when informed no agreement ever existed she blamed her lawyer for not listening to her. Then she wanted to blame a delay in moving. In her head she can just do no wrong, it's always someone else's fault or issue.

She accused me of having the neighbors watching her and reporting to me so she feels like a prisoner in her castle. 

Her lawyer was strangely silent but he did yell at her many times to shut up. When she was my crazy girl and if someone used that tone with her she would have torn him a new one, this girl just stared off in space. 

I volunteered to be deposed but her lawyer didn't want to ask me any questions. Even when done the court reporter asked both guys if they wanted transcript and her lawyer didn't even want that.

My lawyer seemed quite please he got her to finally lie under oath and was going to be filing contempt and others charges with the judge. I found it a strange ordeal listening to a woman clearly living in a different reality.


----------



## Chuck71

Never understood why people will look you straight in the eye and lie..... and BELIEVE it.

Wish my bank would float $25k my way as a "bank error"

She will end up as the lead female character in this 1961 Twilight Zone classic....

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Invaders_(The_Twilight_Zone)


----------



## aine

Honcho, I guess the ending is bitter sweet though? At least it is almost over. Take care.


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> Never understood why people will look you straight in the eye and lie..... and BELIEVE it.
> 
> Wish my bank would float $25k my way as a "bank error"
> 
> She will end up as the lead female character in this 1961 Twilight Zone classic....
> 
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Invaders_(The_Twilight_Zone)


She hasn't looked me in the eye since the day she left. She will stare at floor, the wall or other people and tell her creative stories but she won't look at me. She does everything in her power to not look at me. Guess it makes lying easier.


----------



## LongWalk

The problem is that she remains emotionally connected to you, and you still feel sadness because you could not save her from her illness, from herself.

My father was a psychiatrist, my mother a nurse, and still they could not save my mentally ill brother from death, despite great efforts.

Did they always do the right things? No. It's hard to pitch a no hitter.

You did your best. Allow yourself to move on and see other women. It is horrible that you have a stalker in your ex. She will end up hospitalized, indigent or dead. There are no longer state institutions for the mentally ill.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Pluto2

I can't believe I'm saying it like this, but get the D finalized before she's committed, otherwise your life will be infinitely more cumbersome.

And I want to know where she banks, too. 

Thank goodness the end appears close.


----------



## FeministInPink

Pluto2 said:


> I can't believe I'm saying it like this, but get the D finalized before she's committed, otherwise your life will be infinitely more cumbersome.
> 
> And I want to know where she banks, too.
> 
> Thank goodness the end appears close.


I agree.


----------



## honcho

Pluto2 said:


> I can't believe I'm saying it like this, but get the D finalized before she's committed, otherwise your life will be infinitely more cumbersome.
> 
> And I want to know where she banks, too.
> 
> Thank goodness the end appears close.


What end? Divorce stops none of her insanity. If by some miracle this divorce happens at end of next month it won't take her 6 months before she starts hauling me back into court for something.

Given the way my amicable divorce has gone here is what I figure. My attorney will file the contempt stuff and the other items he talked about. The assets and cash accounts are significant and the judge simply will have to act whether he likes it or not. Her lawyers only realistic play will be to use her mental incompetence at that point. This of course will most likely trigger another delay.

The lies were too blatant and obvious to argue she just misunderstood over and over. Even when confronted with evidence she didn't or couldn't comprehend how deep a hole she was digging herself.


----------



## tom67

honcho go to the press whether papers or radio.

Or better yet go to youtube pay a geek in college or out and start a channel.

I and others will share links on google plus, twitter ect.

Here H is a guy who lost his kids because of a "friend" of the court.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwd_sSDZ8EQt6SEeOO2tBRA


----------



## Chuck71

I'm pretty handy with a pen...... just saying....


----------



## honcho

tom67 said:


> honcho go to the press whether papers or radio.
> 
> Or better yet go to youtube pay a geek in college or out and start a channel.
> 
> I and others will share links on google plus, twitter ect.
> 
> Here H is a guy who lost his kids because of a "friend" of the court.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwd_sSDZ8EQt6SEeOO2tBRA


A channel on youtube? OK I'm dinosaur when it comes to social media.


----------



## honcho

So we kind of did the vital property swap today. The notion was very simple my niece and her fiance pick up junk here, drive to her place and drop off, pick up junk she was supposed to give me, drive away done.

The phone calls from the police started a couple hours before the assigned time and the circus started. I had 4 calls, my niece had a couple. The crazy train had a full head of steam. End up with 2 officers at my house and two at hers, why I'll never figure out. Did they think when my niece was going to drive the lawnmower from one house to the other she would go rogue and make a break for it?

Well crazy girl got what she wanted. She got to tell a bunch of police officers all about the horrible monster that I am and how she fears me. Her mom was there to hold her hand and for a short time she was the center of attention. 

True to form the prop swap was really give team crazy what she wants but when she was supposed to give up the junk to come here she decided that wasn't part of the agreement. I could care less about actually obtaining the items and she only pulled this trying yet again to fight about something. So I guess she wins and I'll let her keep the items. What a victory for her. 

I do hope her mom got to enjoy the festivities and see this fiasco firsthand. She coughed up a bunch of cash to bail her daughter out with lawyer, I'm sure when she saw the 12 year old big screen tv that doesn't work come off the truck she could tell herself it was money well spent. 

The cops got bored about halfway thru this ordeal and took off.


----------



## Chuck71

Everything has a beginning and an end. Who ever said that never knew your BSC XW.

I know you are no longer invested emotionally but this is just being drug out way too long.

Maybe if she thought you again wanted to fancy her eye, she would speed up the D.

I have to ask.... has she mention anything about the porn tapes she said you had of her....

even though you did not own a camcorder?


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> Everything has a beginning and an end. Who ever said that never knew your BSC XW.
> 
> I know you are no longer invested emotionally but this is just being drug out way too long.
> 
> Maybe if she thought you again wanted to fancy her eye, she would speed up the D.
> 
> I have to ask.... has she mention anything about the porn tapes she said you had of her....
> 
> even though you did not own a camcorder?


She hasn't brought up the porn star career in a few months now. It was an unbelievable story on day one and the way she looks now, we'll I think even she must realize what an impossible task to convince anyone of that fairy tale.


----------



## LongWalk

Poor sick woman....

Did you really give her the lawn mower?

Anyway, you kept the shotgun shell factory.


----------



## honcho

LongWalk said:


> Poor sick woman....
> 
> Did you really give her the lawn mower?
> 
> Anyway, you kept the shotgun shell factory.


Well it was a nice lawnmower. I look forward to her lawyer ranting how I destroyed that too. As dumb as my divorce is I probably could have requested joint custody of it.


----------



## tom67

honcho said:


> Well it was a nice lawnmower. I look forward to her lawyer ranting how I destroyed that too. As dumb as my divorce is I probably could have requested joint custody of it.


Un freaking believable.
Do you have to pay gas support also?:grin2:


----------



## MJJEAN

I was "married" to an abusive, lying, cheating, reckless, irresponsible, thieving, tw*t of an ex husband for 5 years. 

The kind of guy that would do things like steal a necklace I inherited from my grandfather so he could pawn it to pay for a new tire on his parents car because he'd borrowed it and flattened the tire while out with mistress number.. I lost count. 

The kind of guy who wouldn't keep a job and when I worked got caught red handed getting oral on the couch with OUR 5 YEAR OLD CHILD in the room, a few feet away, watching tv.

The kind of guy who literally stole from his own mother and father. Thousands over the years. Not including all the jewelry.

I could go on and on, but I'm sure you all get it.

I thought my ex was a nutter and a totally useless POS. Hats off to you, OP, your STBX takes the cake.

Thankfully, my divorce took 3 months from start to finish. 

I honestly think that, if my divorce had been dragged on and on by crazy, there would have been a shovel, a bag of lyme, and an alibi involved.


----------



## honcho

MJJEAN said:


> I was "married" to an abusive, lying, cheating, reckless, irresponsible, thieving, tw*t of an ex husband for 5 years.
> 
> The kind of guy that would do things like steal a necklace I inherited from my grandfather so he could pawn it to pay for a new tire on his parents car because he'd borrowed it and flattened the tire while out with mistress number.. I lost count.
> 
> The kind of guy who wouldn't keep a job and when I worked got caught red handed getting oral on the couch with OUR 5 YEAR OLD CHILD in the room, a few feet away, watching tv.
> 
> The kind of guy who literally stole from his own mother and father. Thousands over the years. Not including all the jewelry.
> 
> I could go on and on, but I'm sure you all get it.
> 
> I thought my ex was a nutter and a totally useless POS. Hats off to you, OP, your STBX takes the cake.
> 
> Thankfully, my divorce took 3 months from start to finish.
> 
> I honestly think that, if my divorce had been dragged on and on by crazy, there would have been a shovel, a bag of lyme, and an alibi involved.


3 months? It took longer than that just to get an agreement on how the nut job was going to get the lawnmower from my house to hers....


----------



## Chuck71

honcho said:


> 3 months? It took longer than that just to get an agreement on how the nut job was going to get the lawnmower from my house to hers....


Honcho..... my mom had triple by-pass today. But this comment made me LMFAO

THANK YOU


----------



## MJJEAN

honcho said:


> 3 months? It took longer than that just to get an agreement on how the nut job was going to get the lawnmower from my house to hers....


Yup, 3 months from the date I filed I walked out of a courtroom with divorce papers in hand. 

Behold! The power of the p. He was in lurv with some chick he knew for a few weeks. He needed to get single fast. They lasted almost a whole 3 months. 

Ex eventually remarried. She's a very large woman. She refuses to clean. They have two kids. One removed by CPS and investigation to remove the other in progress. They've been kicked out of 2 apartments this year for filth. Neither work and are fully supported by his mom. The drama over there is non stop.

So happy to not be a part of that. 12 years, 10 months later and he's still the exact same.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> Honcho..... my mom had triple by-pass today. But this comment made me LMFAO
> 
> THANK YOU


Sorry to hear you mom needs the bypass surgery. I truly hope it went well and she has an easy recovery.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## honcho

So today crazy girl called my best friend out of the blue. She was asking him about finishing a project in the kitchen at the house. My friend told her he would never do it as he has stated for well, years now. 

She couldn't grasp the fact he wouldn't finish the project for free and he wouldn't do it for a million dollars at this point. She kept asking him why he wouldn't do this favor for me to make her happy.

Back in February she showed up at his work threatening to take him to court if he didn't do it. The judge, both lawyers all have informed her to hire someone yet she still expects my friend to make her happy.....for free of course.


----------



## Chuck71

No concept of money..... unless it's her money.

It is a true blessing she never had kids.

Watch her get a dog and expect you to pay child support for it.

I rarely say this but, after what all you have shared with us, if she ended up on the news

dressed as Bugs Bunny, banging people over the head with a steel dildo, in a church parking lot.....

I would not be surprised.


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> No concept of money..... unless it's her money.
> 
> It is a true blessing she never had kids.
> 
> Watch her get a dog and expect you to pay child support for it.
> 
> I rarely say this but, after what all you have shared with us, if she ended up on the news
> 
> dressed as Bugs Bunny, banging people over the head with a steel dildo, in a church parking lot.....
> 
> I would not be surprised.


She preferred Tweety but otherwise I won't tell you that you are wrong haha


----------



## LongWalk

Hilarious... sorry I shouldn't have laughed.


----------



## honcho

So we had a court appearance today to make the waiver of alimony official finally. It was a waste of time really but this judge now wants everything as official as possible since we are all convinced as soon as the divorce as final she will appeal. 

My lawyer filed the paperwork for her lying during deposition and her lawyers only response was he was leaving for vacation and won't be back until the day before our final hearing. The judge wanted to review the transcript of deposition. 

I can't figure her lawyers response, I mean I realize he isn't putting his "full effort" in this but to just respond that he is going on vacation doesn't make sense. 

After she left and we were walking out her lawyer told me and my lawyer that as soon as this case is done he is retiring. Dealing with my lovely bride made his decision easy for him as he put it. 

Apparently the lawnmower and broken TV made her happy because we had no drama or talk about the horrible conditions of items or whatever else her imagination she could come up with. Also no questions or comments about me not giving her any firearms which Mr brilliant had ordered. 

Her lawyer seems perfectly content to go to trial based on "she says" info and he knows all my info is based in fact and evidence. The man doesn't stand a chance trying to tell a judge a bank account doesn't exist when I have the statements and the list goes on and on like that.


----------



## Chuck71

She got her practice in way before she met you......I wonder where those guys are.

A couch as mine where I try to get them to simply say her name and they scream in horror

Imagine her going MILF / cougar and devouring a poor 25 y / o guy

The only true justice served would be for her to wear a sign around her neck... 

"I am Psychotic" Her rationale reminds me a lot of Henry Lee Lucas' mother..


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> She got her practice in way before she met you......I wonder where those guys are.
> 
> A couch as mine where I try to get them to simply say her name and they scream in horror
> 
> Imagine her going MILF / cougar and devouring a poor 25 y / o guy
> 
> The only true justice served would be for her to wear a sign around her neck...
> 
> "I am Psychotic" Her rationale reminds me a lot of Henry Lee Lucas' mother..


Well the way she looks now I think the cougar angle will be out for her haha!

She was engaged 3 times before I got to be the lucky one. No idea really who any of those characters are. When I was packing up her stuff I did find letters from the last fiance. He had written about his displeasure with her on how she had treated his child, her constant yelling at his son. Her trying to run the family like a dictatorship. Things like that.

That part I always chucked up to her upbringing, her mom is dictator and ruled everyone with an iron fist so to speak.


----------



## FeministInPink

It always comes back to FOO issues, doesn't it? My XH isn't crazy like yours, but he's got some emotionally abusive, passive-aggressive behavioral problems, possibly some mild narcissism--and it clearly stems from FOO issues. *I* have some emotional dysfunction that I'm working through, and it all comes back to FOO issues.


----------



## honcho

FeministInPink said:


> It always comes back to FOO issues, doesn't it? My XH isn't crazy like yours, but he's got some emotionally abusive, passive-aggressive behavioral problems, possibly some mild narcissism--and it clearly stems from FOO issues. *I* have some emotional dysfunction that I'm working through, and it all comes back to FOO issues.


We all do seem to spend our adult lives trying to unlearn what are families taught us as kids.


----------



## FeministInPink

honcho said:


> We all do seem to spend our adult lives trying to unlearn what are families taught us as kids.


So, so true. It makes me kind of angry, on my own behalf, that I am burdened with the responsibility of fixing something that my FOO broke. On one hand, I'm glad that I have the self-awareness to recognize the need to make this fix/change, but part of me thinks it would be nice to be totally ignorant of it and just go on my merry, dysfunctional way. After all, that's what my FOO did, right?

But then I remember... my FOO members are all pretty unhappy with their lives and their choices, and I really don't want to end up that way.


----------



## TheGoodGuy

MJJEAN said:


> Yup, 3 months from the date I filed I walked out of a courtroom with divorce papers in hand.
> 
> *Behold! The power of the p. *He was in lurv with some chick he knew for a few weeks. He needed to get single fast. They lasted almost a whole 3 months.
> 
> Ex eventually remarried. She's a very large woman. She refuses to clean. They have two kids. One removed by CPS and investigation to remove the other in progress. They've been kicked out of 2 apartments this year for filth. Neither work and are fully supported by his mom. The drama over there is non stop.
> 
> So happy to not be a part of that. 12 years, 10 months later and he's still the exact same.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


HAHA I laughed out loud at this. I too got very lucky and while my ex was eager to become single, I took action and divorced her as quickly as I could as well. Also 3 months from filing to done deal, but I made things as easy as I could on her along the way. "Look, if you sign this, you won't even have to appear in court". After a couple of days she did, and didn't have to appear. Pretty cut and dry after that.

Honcho, it is stories like yours that make me very thankful I was able to get mine done quickly. My ex has been compared to yours a couple of times (complete meltdown, doing crazy crazy things), but having read your thread I'm not so sure. Eventually mine left the area and left me (and our daughter) alone. Yours seems addicted to the drama..

Hang in there brother.


----------



## Chuck71

TheGoodGuy said:


> HAHA I laughed out loud at this. I too got very lucky and while my ex was eager to become single, I took action and divorced her as quickly as I could as well. Also 3 months from filing to done deal, but I made things as easy as I could on her along the way. "Look, if you sign this, you won't even have to appear in court". After a couple of days she did, and didn't have to appear. Pretty cut and dry after that.
> 
> Honcho, it is stories like yours that make me very thankful I was able to get mine done quickly. My ex has been compared to yours a couple of times (complete meltdown, doing crazy crazy things), but having read your thread I'm not so sure. Eventually mine left the area and left me (and our daughter) alone. Yours seems addicted to the drama..
> 
> Hang in there brother.


Didn't yours want to go live in a teepee and talk to the spirits in the sky?

Do you know if she moved to north GA?

Her and my "tow truck" date sound similar... too similar


----------



## TheGoodGuy

Chuck71 said:


> Didn't yours want to go live in a teepee and talk to the spirits in the sky?
> 
> Do you know if she moved to north GA?
> 
> Her and my "tow truck" date sound similar... too similar


Mine did go live in a teepee for 3 or 4 months. Pretty sure even the spirits wouldn't listen. Her and her new hubby are still bouncing around from apartment to apartment every few months in a tiny town in CO. She's going to wear out her welcome there too soon enough.


----------



## Chuck71

Some people like uncertainty and instability. Breathing smoke from peace pipes tend to make them do so.

Thank God you have your girl. With courts still tilted to mothers (not as bad as in years past),

this shows her true self / intentions.

Stable home, stable life..... win for your D.


----------



## TheGoodGuy

Chuck71 said:


> Some people like uncertainty and instability. Breathing smoke from peace pipes tend to make them do so.
> 
> Thank God you have your girl. With courts still tilted to mothers (not as bad as in years past),
> 
> this shows her true self / intentions.
> 
> *Stable home, stable life..... win for your D.*


Amen to that. I'm supremely thankful for the opportunity and the responsibility. How someone would just WALK AWAY like their children never mattered just does not compute for me. 

Anyways, sorry for the thread jack Honcho. Be thankful you don't have kids being dragged around in this mess.


----------



## honcho

TheGoodGuy said:


> Amen to that. I'm supremely thankful for the opportunity and the responsibility. How someone would just WALK AWAY like their children never mattered just does not compute for me.
> 
> Anyways, sorry for the thread jack Honcho. Be thankful you don't have kids being dragged around in this mess.


Don't worry about the tread jack, I didn't view it that way at all.

I actually just got off the phone with my best friend. Crazy girl must be bored today. She has called him 4 times today on the granite countertop he will never make for her. The girl just will not listen to anyone, he keeps saying no, don't call me, etc and she is off in lala land describing the under mount sink he was going to do as a surprise for me. They are a big pain the the butt to cut and polish so I always told him to not worry about it.

She was talking as if he was still making this for me and asking him about what kind of sink to buy, things like that. It's amazing how she seems to play this storyline stuck in her head out irregardless of what anyone says to her. 

My friend keeps asking when the divorce will be done and I keep telling him how long have you said no to the kitchen project? I'll never be rid of the nut job but she can't keep harassing my friends on her flights of fancy.


----------



## MJJEAN

Maybe she calls about the countertops because she's got someone listening she's trying to impress.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Chuck71

Can't she pay him with her "porn royalties"


----------



## FeministInPink

Chuck71 said:


> Can't she pay him with her "porn royalties"


Ha ha ha ha!!! :rofl:


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> Can't she pay him with her "porn royalties"


I was hoping to use those so I could buy a new lawnmower haha


----------



## Chuck71

OMFG ............ is she still cutting the grass with scissors? Since you bad man, stole hers? UFB


----------



## LongWalk

Honcho,

Hope you are not going to buy the house back when she loses it.


----------



## honcho

LongWalk said:


> Honcho,
> 
> Hope you are not going to buy the house back when she loses it.


I would never live in the house, I never "loved" the house. I agreed back when the mess first started to just buy her equity out to expedite the divorce process. That plan worked for crap as we can see. 

When I had a buyer with cash in hand I still can't figure why she suddenly wanted the palace back. It never made sense, even when getting alimony she could never afford it. Her mom may bail her out and buy the house if it reaches the final foreclosure stage. She has done it for her other kids but none of them had the lawyer bill like my crazy stbx. She doesn't have unlimited funds.

If it goes thru foreclosure I will buy it back and have one of my real estate friends immediately put it on market. I had too much equity in the place to not too. I like making money and even selling the house at a deeply discounted price I can make a sizable profit. It's too much cash to not seriously consider it.


----------



## LongWalk

Only if the dollars and cents make sense.


----------



## honcho

Well my atty filed all sorts of paperwork, motions etc based on her lies at deposition. Her lawyer never responded to any of it or filed anything last minute that he is notorious for. 

Our final is scheduled to start in the morning, every other time this brilliant court system had the decency to cancel it the day before at least. With some luck this hearing may actually happen tomorrow.


----------



## FeministInPink

good luck!!! Anything to get you to the end of this nightmare.


----------



## honcho

Well guess who is still "happily married ". You simply can't get a divorce done. 

A full day of listening to the wierd get wierder. The tall tales were changing by the moment all of course focusing on me being the monster which was expected. Even when faced with proof of her lies she would fall back on I forced her against her will to put money into her own retirement accounts, siily things like that.

She showed up wearing a t-shirt from the domestic violence center of all things. The judge started the day by yelling at her for that. She on the one hand was discussing how she trusted me implicitly when discussing investments and the next sentence saying forced her and had no choice but to follow what I demanded. 

The proceeds fell apart in late morning when I figure her meds wore off and although we already have an agreement of no alimony she started talking about the next hearing we have scheduled to settle her alimony claim. Before the proceedings even got going the judge made it clear alimony was done and asked her if she understood and she said yes. Couple hours later she is rambling about hearing that don't exist. All the lawyers and judge looked around in disbelief. She was convinced such a hearing was set up. 

From then on and after a lengthy break every topic was like taking baby steps with her. This ridiculous legal system just doesn't want to deal with the issue of her mental state so they keep trying to somehow get this done and dance around it all. 

Her lawyer was very shocked, saddened and surprised by learning about her true finances today. The judge is the absolute biggest moron ever, he at one point in this ordeal make us bid on contested items thinking that would actually resolve something. As he put it we needed to maximize the value of the marital estate so we all made up play number and bid ridiculous sums of money on junk. It was stupid, everyone agreed it was stupid except the judge. 

When I had to testify her lawyer kept asking me nonsense questions like how many checks I might had written out of a checking account or if I "forced" her to pay taxes at end of the year if we had a balance due to who bought more groceries. Who cares? Then he asked me how many dogs I had, I said 2, she immediately fell off her chair balling and screaming. Did she really think the old husky who was over 13 when she left would still be alive after all this time? She hasn't asked about the dogs at all in over 2.5 years now we have a dramatic scene. This of course brought the festivities to a grinding halt once again. 

Well long story short after 8 hours of testimony the judge decided we would not be divorced today and informed the lawyers to schedule another hearing. This will take at least 2 months before any chance. 

Once they got my lovely bride out of the court room and the judge could talk off record he told both these lawyers how he thinks he might rule next time based on what he heard today and somehow her attorney must convince her to realize what she stands to lose here and get this deal done. He asks the impossible as no one can get thru to her.

Both lawyers are convinced after hearing her today even if she got the deal of a lifetime she is already planning appeal. I can't get out of this nightmare.


----------



## FeministInPink

Oh... I just don't know what to say. SMH.


----------



## honcho

FeministInPink said:


> Oh... I just don't know what to say. SMH.


What can you say? Just have to keep enduring the pain, what else can I do?


----------



## FeministInPink

I just think there needs to be some escape clause, like if the judge sees that one person is plain batty, that he should be able to say, I am going to end this circus, here and now.


----------



## FeministInPink

No one should have to endure this amount of crazy.


----------



## honcho

FeministInPink said:


> I just think there needs to be some escape clause, like if the judge sees that one person is plain batty, that he should be able to say, I am going to end this circus, here and now.


It's a toss up who is whackier, her or judge. He just will not do his job. He keeps thinking these trinket decisions he makes will appease her yet it does nothing but fuel her crazy world


----------



## Chuck71

I had a flashback..... a horrible one. Doggy disordered BSC W. I had one of those...

XW never cried in court but had it happened.... same way yours did.

Is this judge appointed or elected?

Don't know what to say Honcho.... he!! Surely the judge can have this over this year...


----------



## Pluto2

This is the craziest case I've ever heard of. Really, really, nutso.

Has your attorney requested a decree of divorce and holding open the equitable distribution claim? At the very least you'd be able to call her your ex. 
Did the judge limit the issues for the next hearing? Tell your attorney you want to be a single man for Christmas.
This is just so wrong. I'm truly sorry Honcho.


----------



## LongWalk

At least there are no children to fight over. What a héll that would have been


----------



## tom67

LongWalk said:


> At least there are no children to fight over. What a héll that would have been


And who makes out just fine out of all this...
The lawyers.
Man I am speechless what a bunch of bs.:banghead:


----------



## Blossom Leigh

Sorry Honcho...


----------



## TheGoodGuy

honcho said:


> It's a toss up who is whackier, her or judge. He just will not do his job. He keeps thinking these trinket decisions he makes will appease her yet it does nothing but fuel her crazy world


Man Honcho, this sucks. My ex is crazy but at least she flew the coup and moved away. It's like your stbx is stuck flying around in the coup, bumping into walls.


----------



## honcho

Pluto2 said:


> This is the craziest case I've ever heard of. Really, really, nutso.
> 
> Has your attorney requested a decree of divorce and holding open the equitable distribution claim? At the very least you'd be able to call her your ex.
> Did the judge limit the issues for the next hearing? Tell your attorney you want to be a single man for Christmas.
> This is just so wrong. I'm truly sorry Honcho.


The judge won't issue a final decree until the asset allocation is done. Tried that twice now. All we were supposed to discuss at the last hearing was money accounts which consisted of 5 accounts and it wasn't even scheduled to go all day. When we got there his lordship changed his mind, wanted to address other issues which really werent big issues. Told the lawyers to reschedule there afternoon appointments because we would be their all day.

Then around midday he calls a 2 hour break so he could hear a different case so everybody sits around on the clock for nothing. This idiot is elected and the power players in town have someone in mind to run against him at next election. Mine isn't the only case he has handled so brilliantly. Problem is we have 3 judges here and the other 2 are over 70 and the rumor mill has them retiring at next election. This bone head will likely get in again if all 3 positions are available. 

According to her lawyer when talking during the break Mr brilliant will hear all the evidence then won't make a final decision for several days. According to him what he does is go ask the other judges what they would do and get there imput. This guy just can't make a decision by himself. 

This is a man who never should have been put in this position and to this day no one can figure how he won an election. I'm just the lucky guy who got stuck with him for a divorce.


----------



## LongWalk

Old judges. They brought them out of retirement to rubber stamp robo signing judgments when covering up the property crisis


----------



## Chuck71

Most judges are former....... yeah, sad isn't it? Apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.

I know how small town politics work, I live in one. When is the next "election?" And I use that word very lightly


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> Most judges are former....... yeah, sad isn't it? Apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.
> 
> I know how small town politics work, I live in one. When is the next "election?" And I use that word very lightly


Election is about a year, year and a half away. I used to joke that my best shot of divorce would be whoever the next judge is. Now it probably is. 

She doesn't care the ordeal just fuels her twisted victim world the lives in. She can't hold it together now let alone how much farther she will go downhill in the next few months.


----------



## LongWalk

So painful to read your thread.


----------



## Chuck71

I'm partially joking but in a depressing way, I am not...... Has it ever crossed your mind how an 

incompetent 70 y / o judge may receive "lip service" in such a small town? Happens here often......

not as much, since a few got busted. Are there any pre-requisites to being able to run for a judgeship?


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> I'm partially joking but in a depressing way, I am not...... Has it ever crossed your mind how an
> 
> incompetent 70 y / o judge may receive "lip service" in such a small town? Happens here often......
> 
> not as much, since a few got busted. Are there any pre-requisites to being able to run for a judgeship?


Breathing I believe is the only prerequisite. Like most of these small town judges, they become judges because they fail in private practice so get a government job. They love the title of judge and ego stroke they give themselves. This guy really believes he is smart that's the scary part....

I'm still just dumbfounded at the whole court proceeding. I've experienced stupid in court settings before but nothing like this. We DON'T have a hard divorce


----------



## Marc878

Honcho, you should have fought harder against those aliens who abducted her and this wouldn't have happened.

So it is your fault afterall👽


----------



## honcho

Marc878 said:


> Honcho, you should have fought harder against those aliens who abducted her and this wouldn't have happened.
> 
> So it is your fault afterall👽


Being all my fault is fine, I'll agree to just about anything to get the divorce done haha


----------



## Chuck71

honcho said:


> Breathing I believe is the only prerequisite. Like most of these small town judges, they become judges because they fail in private practice so get a government job. They love the title of judge and ego stroke they give themselves. This guy really believes he is smart that's the scary part....
> 
> I'm still just dumbfounded at the whole court proceeding. I've experienced stupid in court settings before but nothing like this. We DON'T have a hard divorce


I'm quite certain once the D is done, you will run at light speed away from anything concerning

the "judge" and "space case." But part of you would not immediately dismiss the idea of 

running for a seat. Nah... you won't win. Not the point.... the actions of the judge are public record.

In a state of empathy, would you want to see someone 25 / 30 go through what you have?

Since you have a great sense of humor about this... how bad do you think it would have been if 

'yawl' had three kids, a home, two vacation homes (one being in Canada), and $2 mil in 401k / IRAs?


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> I'm quite certain once the D is done, you will run at light speed away from anything concerning
> 
> the "judge" and "space case." But part of you would not immediately dismiss the idea of
> 
> running for a seat. Nah... you won't win. Not the point.... the actions of the judge are public record.
> 
> In a state of empathy, would you want to see someone 25 / 30 go through what you have?
> 
> Since you have a great sense of humor about this... how bad do you think it would have been if
> 
> 'yawl' had three kids, a home, two vacation homes (one being in Canada), and $2 mil in 401k / IRAs?


Who cares about vacation homes in canada when you have lawnmowers, fish tanks and attachments to a mixmaster to argue about. I'm staring at this moment at a 10 year old tan sectional Mr brilliant ordered me to give her and told me I had a week to deliver to her because that somehow will make her "happy?"

My intelligence or lack of it depending on your point of view just simply can't comprehend the sheer idiocy of divorce court this clown runs. I have to have a sense of humor about this the entire process is such a joke. 

I'm now over 35k in legal fees for this joke so I might as well enjoy the humor of it all. Small town America can be boring at times, I've provided an entire city almost 3 years worth of entertainment and gossip as part of my civic duty haha!


----------



## honcho

Well in the never ending easy amicable divorce action team crazy filed paperwork to reopen her alimony claim so I have yet another hearing set up this week to hear this. So. Guess the divorce ferris wheel just keeps going round and round. If the judge reopens the alimony end of this it would basically restart the entire divorce.

I find it amazing how each and ever single agreement in this mess eventually get reopened and started again. I will be collecting social security before this thing ever ends it seems. I wish this idiotic court system would just rule this thing final, it guaranteed to end up in appeal anyway this thing is so riddled with errors. 

My old secretary ran into crazy girl this weekend at an estate sale and apparently she has a new boytoy when she saw my old coworker she immediately grabbed the guy she was with and ran for the car. Let's hope the new guy finally can "make her happy " and she will finally let me go except her past history indicates she steps up her obsession of attacking my life when she has a guy around.


----------



## Pluto2

I can file paperwork to re-open the investigation into the Kennedy assassination, doesn't mean it holds water, and doesn't mean it isn't sanctionably baseless. Seek attorneys' fees for this tripe.


----------



## Chuck71

I would love to see you open a FB page and detail every single step in your D....in 3rd person..... 

Hopefully she is tied up with him and would want you "gone" asap.

"I want to tie up Honcho's life as long as I can so he will think about me day and night"

Sociopathic... well yeah. 

As frivolous as her allegations are, you'd think you wouldn't need a lawyer.... wait... the judges.... uh oh

Hopefully this boytoy would harp on her focusing her emotions on you and have her speed it up.

Honcho... I wouldn't ask this if you didn't have an A1 sense of humor.... and nowadays I need a 

good laugh. Would you ever consider getting M again? (Ducking)


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> I would love to see you open a FB page and detail every single step in your D....in 3rd person.....
> 
> Hopefully she is tied up with him and would want you "gone" asap.
> 
> "I want to tie up Honcho's life as long as I can so he will think about me day and night"
> 
> Sociopathic... well yeah.
> 
> As frivolous as her allegations are, you'd think you wouldn't need a lawyer.... wait... the judges.... uh oh
> 
> Hopefully this boytoy would harp on her focusing her emotions on you and have her speed it up.
> 
> Honcho... I wouldn't ask this if you didn't have an A1 sense of humor.... and nowadays I need a
> 
> good laugh. Would you ever consider getting M again? (Ducking)


Now Chuck i am "happily married" now so how could i possibly consider getting married again haha

I grew up with an alcoholic freakshow of a mother and swore I would never get married or get "close" to any woman after putting up with that growing up. I was alone for 10 years before I met my stbx. I wasn't lonely. I took a chance and allowed myself the luxury of caring about someone and had many great years. This I guess is the price I pay for that.

I actually enjoyed be married and I feel I'm a better man because of it. I simply can't go thru this kind of pain and hurt again and I don't think I can enter another relationship without being "all in".

Dogs only crap on the floor, not my life. I think I'll stick with dogs haha


----------



## honcho

Pluto2 said:


> I can file paperwork to re-open the investigation into the Kennedy assassination, doesn't mean it holds water, and doesn't mean it isn't sanctionably baseless. Seek attorneys' fees for this tripe.


I've asked for attorney fees several times already to always get denied because of some frivolous reasoning by the judge. I keep hearing things like "we'll she thinks it's worth more and she has a right to investigate no matter how unusual the claim is" stupid stuff like this

In one of her various r/o attempts I requested attny fees and a different judge said I should be more compassionate to her mental state and my lawyer should have been nicer, yes nicer to her and not requested deposition which she didn't show up for so she denied it. The system is simply the biggest joke us taxpayers fund.


----------



## LongWalk

Honcho,

You shouldn't rule out relationships. I know where you're coming from. Age makes it more difficult, but actually there are women out there who are compassionate and responsible.


----------



## Chuck71

honcho said:


> I've asked for attorney fees several times already to always get denied because of some frivolous reasoning by the judge. I keep hearing things like "we'll she thinks it's worth more and she has a right to investigate no matter how unusual the claim is" stupid stuff like this
> 
> In one of her various r/o attempts I requested attny fees and a different judge said I should be more compassionate to her mental state and my lawyer should have been nicer, yes nicer to her and not requested deposition which she didn't show up for so she denied it. The system is simply the biggest joke us taxpayers fund.


Please make a FB page with this rationale


----------



## honcho

LongWalk said:


> Honcho,
> 
> You shouldn't rule out relationships. I know where you're coming from. Age makes it more difficult, but actually there are women out there who are compassionate and responsible.


Maybe someday I'll get bored enough and click on the anastasia banner and "buy" a Russian bride assuming putin doesn't close the borders at some point haha 

I think I'm all done. I don't know a single person who isn't divorced. I don't know a single person who in a second marriage is even happy and most of those are divorced or divorcing soon. 

Given my happily married situation no "normal" person would ever get sucked into it and apparently I'm one of those guys who has that invisible sign over my head I attract crazy because that's all that seems to be interested.


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> Please make a FB page with this rationale


I have no idea how Fb even works and I think the last time I looked at FB was 3 years ago. I'm very much a dinosaur in the tech dept. Heck I think my latest and greatest smart phone is 6 years old now haha


----------



## GusPolinski

honcho said:


> I've asked for attorney fees several times already to always get denied because of some frivolous reasoning by the judge. *I keep hearing things like "we'll she thinks it's worth more and she has a right to investigate no matter how unusual the claim is" *stupid stuff like this


"Fair enough. Then let her PAY for the investigation."



honcho said:


> In one of her various r/o attempts I requested attny fees and a different judge said I should be more compassionate to her mental state and my lawyer should have been nicer, yes nicer to her and not requested deposition which she didn't show up for so she denied it. The system is simply the biggest joke us taxpayers fund.


Geeeeeeeeeezzz...

Hoping for your sake that this bullsh*t will be over soon.


----------



## Chuck71

honcho said:


> I have no idea how Fb even works and I think the last time I looked at FB was 3 years ago. I'm very much a dinosaur in the tech dept. Heck I think my latest and greatest smart phone is 6 years old now haha


All I need is a timeline...... FB would help for exposure 

You know where I'm going......


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> All I need is a timeline...... FB would help for exposure
> 
> You know where I'm going......


A timeline?

I was born in a country far,far away in the earth year 1966

At age 2 we move to a small town in Wisconsin. I don't remember them asking my opinion on the move....

Age 3. I finally start growing hair, my parents feared I never would

Age 4. My parents bring home a baby and claim it's my new brother. I didn't know I wanted a brother and he looks nothing like any of us so I'm still on the fence about this whole brother thing.....

Flashforward to 1984 I graduate high school, my dad buys me a ninja a somehow I don't kill myself on it. I still take it out once or twice a year for a speed fix but I don't go nearly as fast as I once did...

This same year my dad has "the talk" I'm given 3 options, join military, he will get me job in factory at company he used to run or I go to college. Military had too many rules, work didn't seem like a fun idea so I chose college......

And yes I'm poking fun at myself trying to make chuck chuckle since he said he needed a laugh. I know what you mean about a timeline, maybe I'll pm you later.


----------



## Chuck71

When you're ready..... LOL.....


----------



## Chuck71

You could already have a stand up role here in the South..... need an agent??


----------



## honcho

I write to you tonight a divorced man. Mr brilliant finally divorced us today. He didn't even address her reopening alimony claim and went right into "his decision "

We spent the next hour listening to an incredibly weird rambling on his decisions and case references which were contradicting what he was ordering basically. Both lawyers were just shaking there heads at how his interpretations of law were spewed out. Very little overall made sense. 

When her lawyer pointed out that many of his rulings would create significant tax consequences the judge says well its a great deal of work to figure that out so I didn't bother. 

Long story short she owes me money, it should be quite a bit more if he would have used the correct numbers. She had a complete meltdown upon hearing this number. She will almost certainly appeal and I'm questioning why I shouldn't.

The highlight was at the end when the judge asked both lawyers if they thought he did a good job, like he wanted there approval and a pat on the back. Again they just shook there heads in disbelief. 

I didn't even make it out of the courthouse before I had cops stopping me asking me questions based on her "rants" my lawyer was right next to me and in shock. I suppose it was in poor taste on my part to laugh when the one put her hand on her gun like I was some sort of criminal. 

My lovely now ex bride hasn't let me down and I've been called by the police twice tonight already. Each time I inform them the judge ruled this or that today and they all say, "she didn't tell us that". Then they proceed to complain about how my "special one" has been wasting hours of there time today.

It's gonna be a fun few days around here.....


----------



## TheGoodGuy

Well, congrats I think on getting it done finally! Good luck on the eventual(?) appeal. Did your attorney say anything to support you when the cops were doing their impromptu interrogation?!?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## LongWalk

Awesome. Sad for her. But her illness is not your prob


----------



## honcho

TheGoodGuy said:


> Well, congrats I think on getting it done finally! Good luck on the eventual(?) appeal. Did your attorney say anything to support you when the cops were doing their impromptu interrogation?!?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


He asked since we had no contact in the court room and we never spoke if I was being accused of using my "incredible mental powers" to control her mind again then said let's go.


----------



## Pluto2

Single again! Damn its been a long road for you, Honcho. But you've gained your freedom-well until she calls the cops again. Keep a copy of that order with you. Perhaps have it laminated for ready reference!

Of course she will appeal. Don't make a decision about what you do until you see what she raises. You might be able to cover everything by replying to her brief. The simpliest thing is to correct factual errors like computations in a motion for reconsideration, but your judge is nutters so that would help.

Even if the appeals court throws it back for reconsideration of the money issues-you are still divorced my man. For that alone-congrats.


----------



## TheGoodGuy

honcho said:


> He asked since we had no contact in the court room and we never spoke if I was being accused of using my "incredible mental powers" to control her mind again then said let's go.


Lol, I like your attorney.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## honcho

Pluto2 said:


> Single again! Damn its been a long road for you, Honcho. But you've gained your freedom-well until she calls the cops again. Keep a copy of that order with you. Perhaps have it laminated for ready reference!
> 
> Of course she will appeal. Don't make a decision about what you do until you see what she raises. You might be able to cover everything by replying to her brief. The simpliest thing is to correct factual errors like computations in a motion for reconsideration, but your judge is nutters so that would help.
> 
> Even if the appeals court throws it back for reconsideration of the money issues-you are still divorced my man. For that alone-congrats.


This judge will never reconsider, his ego won't allow it. I've played that game with this bozo several times already. I could chase about 40k legimately and I know most would get sucked up in legal fees. I'm the type that gets hung up on the principal of things. This guy reinvented divorce law even considering the wide berth they give interpreting the law.

And thats really the problem with so may errors both of us easily can appeal. She would be crazy to pursue an appeal.......oh yeah I forgot she is crazy


----------



## FeministInPink

Hey, yay! You're divorced!

I mean, I'm sure her crazy bullsh!t is going to drag things out... but at least you're divorced! Yay!

If there's an appeal (from either side), will you get a different judge? Maybe one who can actually recognize crazy when he sees it?

EDIT/PS: And sometimes, just sometimes (and I think this might be one of those cases), that it's worth abandoning the principle of the thing in exchange for your freedom.


----------



## Pluto2

FeministInPink said:


> Hey, yay! You're divorced!
> 
> I mean, I'm sure her crazy bullsh!t is going to drag things out... but at least you're divorced! Yay!
> 
> If there's an appeal (from either side), will you get a different judge? Maybe one who can actually recognize crazy when he sees it?
> 
> EDIT/PS: And sometimes, just sometimes (and I think this might be one of those cases), that it's worth abandoning the principle of the thing in exchange for your freedom.


An appeal would go to the SC appellate court, but if it remands the case, it would go back to the same judge.


----------



## TheGoodGuy

FeministInPink said:


> EDIT/PS: And sometimes, just sometimes (and I think this might be one of those cases), that it's worth abandoning the principle of the thing in exchange for your freedom.


THIS. So much this.


----------



## FeministInPink

Pluto2 said:


> An appeal would go to the SC appellate court, but if it remands the case, it would go back to the same judge.


What's "remands the case"? I don't know what that means.


----------



## honcho

FeministInPink said:


> Hey, yay! You're divorced!
> 
> I mean, I'm sure her crazy bullsh!t is going to drag things out... but at least you're divorced! Yay!
> 
> If there's an appeal (from either side), will you get a different judge? Maybe one who can actually recognize crazy when he sees it?
> 
> EDIT/PS: And sometimes, just sometimes (and I think this might be one of those cases), that it's worth abandoning the principle of the thing in exchange for your freedom.


An appeal would go to a 3 judge panel here I believe. All they do basically review the case and either deny the appeal or find enough evidence or errors to warrant reopening the case....something like that. The kicker of course is if they say an appeal is justified it goes back to the same judge to start the fun again. 

From the date all paperwork is "officially" done you got 30 days to appeal. My attny doesn't do appeal work and I've known that all along. Appeal silliness is more a specialty.

If I thought I was truly free I might be a little more inclined not consider appealing. This girl won't go quietly into the night. She will also not pay me the money she owes so I will end up chasing her in court for that I'm sure.


----------



## sapientia

Vulcan2013 said:


> You can't resolve crazy. She sounds seriously mentally ill.


Was she always crazy or is this pre/menopausal crazy?

Consider slipping some antidepressants in her morning coffee. Unless she is already on them. In which case -- run. And thank your stars there are no children as collateral damage.


----------



## Chuck71

Congratulations Honcho!!!!! Sadly.. she will appeal, bet your best hunting dog on it.

She "thinks" she got shafted.... but she can't just let you walk away this easy. Crazies don't do that..

Nothing would tickle her more than not paying you the $ you were awarded so YOU will take HER to

court. To her.... "we are divorced on paper only"

Give it a week.... she will want a RO against you since you were hiding in the bushes wanting to watch

her undress (yes crazy as he!! but look at her, look at the judges).

Harassing phone calls from you.... of course from a burner phone.

Parking in public places to follow you ..... I'm certain your XW has the handbook on this crap.

I picture her following you as the two women who rarely talked but chain smoked on HBO's "The Leftovers"


----------



## Pluto2

Dang, @Chuck71, now I feel paranoid and I wasn't married to her.


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> Congratulations Honcho!!!!! Sadly.. she will appeal, bet your best hunting dog on it.
> 
> She "thinks" she got shafted.... but she can't just let you walk away this easy. Crazies don't do that..
> 
> Nothing would tickle her more than not paying you the $ you were awarded so YOU will take HER to
> 
> court. To her.... "we are divorced on paper only"
> 
> Give it a week.... she will want a RO against you since you were hiding in the bushes wanting to watch
> 
> her undress (yes crazy as he!! but look at her, look at the judges).
> 
> Harassing phone calls from you.... of course from a burner phone.
> 
> Parking in public places to follow you ..... I'm certain your XW has the handbook on this crap.
> 
> I picture her following you as the two women who rarely talked but chain smoked on HBO's "The Leftovers"


We have to play some games transferring retirement plans and other investment accounts. Im trying to get my lawyer to just push for the transfers to be a larger amount instead of hoping to get a check from her. I could use the cash now don't get me wrong but I do have this funny dream I might retire someday and it would save the drama of chasing her for cash. 

She has tried the harassing calls and texts from burner phone already. When the court asked for her phone records to see the number she claimed she "lost" them.

She has already tried the following her everywhere angle and in court when asked about this the best she could say was she saw a car like mine at a walmart when she was shopping so I must be stalking her.

I've seen her naked. I'm not getting all scratched up by bushes or falling out of a tree to see that ever again haha. The way she looks now this would be a mighty tough sell in a courtroom.

Let's see she has tried the angle that the satellite dish on my house is pointed in direction of her so I must be receiving broadcasts from inside her house, we had the searching home for bugs and listening devices.

I'm sure she will find new ones to create in her head to keep the monster alive. I joke with my lawyer that he should just assign me a parking spot at the firm.


----------



## turnera

honcho said:


> I write to you tonight a divorced man. Mr brilliant finally divorced us today. He didn't even address her reopening alimony claim and went right into "his decision "
> 
> We spent the next hour listening to an incredibly weird rambling on his decisions and case references which were contradicting what he was ordering basically. Both lawyers were just shaking there heads at how his interpretations of law were spewed out. Very little overall made sense.
> 
> When her lawyer pointed out that many of his rulings would create significant tax consequences the judge says well its a great deal of work to figure that out so I didn't bother.
> 
> Long story short she owes me money, it should be quite a bit more if he would have used the correct numbers. She had a complete meltdown upon hearing this number. She will almost certainly appeal and I'm questioning why I shouldn't.
> 
> The highlight was at the end when the judge asked both lawyers if they thought he did a good job, like he wanted there approval and a pat on the back. Again they just shook there heads in disbelief.
> 
> I didn't even make it out of the courthouse before I had cops stopping me asking me questions based on her "rants" my lawyer was right next to me and in shock. I suppose it was in poor taste on my part to laugh when the one put her hand on her gun like I was some sort of criminal.
> 
> My lovely now ex bride hasn't let me down and I've been called by the police twice tonight already. Each time I inform them the judge ruled this or that today and they all say, "she didn't tell us that". Then they proceed to complain about how my "special one" has been wasting hours of there time today.
> 
> It's gonna be a fun few days around here.....


Well, at least you're divorced!


----------



## FeministInPink

turnera said:


> Well, at least you're divorced!


 Yay!

(I'm trying to stay positive.)


----------



## FeministInPink

honcho said:


> We have to play some games transferring retirement plans and other investment accounts. Im trying to get my lawyer to just push for the transfers to be a larger amount instead of hoping to get a check from her. I could use the cash now don't get me wrong but I do have this funny dream I might retire someday and it would save the drama of chasing her for cash.


I have a feeling that this is the only way you would ever see that money. :|


----------



## Why Not Be Happy?

Congratulations and good luck moving forward.


----------



## honcho

It's been what a week since the divorce of the century concluded. My lovely EX bride has had police calling me on 4 separate occasions this week on her various rants. I can't quite figure out why these bone head officers keep humoring this game of hers. 

Now today she has spread her craziness to others and decided to call the police claiming my niece has been calling her and harassing her on my orders. So now my niece can enjoy the police calls too. She is my only family that lives close to me. 

It always starts off the same, cops act like white knights and by the end of conversation it is "what is wrong with that woman". My niece gave them an earful of her opinion. We obviously have too many police since they can devote so much time and energy to one lunatic.


----------



## LongWalk

As a matter of principle, I think you should buy a crappy old broken shotgun and give to the police and explain that it is part of the court ordered property settlement. Don't say that it is the shotgun from the lake, i.e., don't perjure yourself, but let the police call the judge and hassle him. Tell them you are not responsible for what she does with it....

Actually, this not a good idea. They might just give it to her and a few days from now end up shooting her for waving it around.


----------



## FeministInPink

Can you file counter harassment charges?


----------



## Pluto2

AGGGHHHH!

This may come as quite a shock (snark) but I do not hold a high opinion of the former Mrs. Honcho.

Did you laminate the order? Just wondering.
And maybe the next time she calls the cops, you and the police can have a little chit-chat about SC Code Ann. 16-17-722 Filing of false police reports; knowledge; offense; penalties.

She is wasting police time and resources with these baseless complaints and even the cops can say enough is enough.


----------



## Chuck71

Give it a few days.... you will next be riding by her place at all hours of the night and peeping in her windows.

Even though your vehicle is in your driveway (he has rental car to stalk me) and you were seen by 11 other

people at the time of the peeping (he has a twin brother covering for him).

Absolute lunacy yes.... but with people as her, she must maintain a level of control.

She had you via court D... now she must regain that control over you.

No one gives up control and power willingly... especially certifiable lunatics. 

BTW... the cops are laughing their arses off at her


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> Give it a few days.... you will next be riding by her place at all hours of the night and peeping in her windows.
> 
> Even though your vehicle is in your driveway (he has rental car to stalk me) and you were seen by 11 other
> 
> people at the time of the peeping (he has a twin brother covering for him).
> 
> Absolute lunacy yes.... but with people as her, she must maintain a level of control.
> 
> She had you via court D... now she must regain that control over you.
> 
> No one gives up control and power willingly... especially certifiable lunatics.
> 
> BTW... the cops are laughing their arses off at her


Oh I've been down the using other vehicles road already. At the time her angle was since I worked at a harley dealer I had unlimited access to cycles so everytime she saw one "it must be him following me".


----------



## honcho

FeministInPink said:


> Can you file counter harassment charges?


You would think I could but she doesn't play her game directly. She calls the police with her rants. In theory the police have a duty to follow up yet the cops know full well nothing comes of it. It's really up to them to hold her accountable for the false claims etc but they do what everyone does when dealing with people with issues, humor it and hope it goes away.


----------



## honcho

So in the land of the strange I go visit my mom for Christmas which is usually strange enough experience all on its own. My mom shows me a Christmas card she received from guess who?

She signed the card with both my name and hers. What is up with that?


----------



## farsidejunky

It sort of lines up with the rest of the BSC stuff she has done, no?


----------



## Marc878

Look man this is all your fault.

I told you before you should have fought harder against those aliens that kidnaped her and performed all those experiments.


----------



## honcho

Marc878 said:


> Look man this is all your fault.
> 
> I told you before you should have fought harder against those aliens that kidnaped her and performed all those experiments.


I understand it's my fault, I think in final divorce decree I accepted blame for everything from global warming to isis and everything in between haha!


----------



## Chuck71

She's mad you never did turn over her royalties from all the porn you secretly taped between you and her.


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> She's mad you never did turn over her royalties from all the porn you secretly taped between you and her.


I just can't keep up counting all the money that keeps rolling in.....I'm still trying to get her to autograph a copy for you chuck :grin2:


----------



## Chuck71

I'd prefer her on a couch explaining why the world has mistreated her.

Should be on the New York Times best seller list.

And quoted often by future psychology majors


----------



## Marc878

Look man, this poor woman for years put up with you combing your hair wrong, leaving the toilet seat up, not buying her the Mercedes she always wanted, Rolex watch and such.

How could you do this to her???????


----------



## LongWalk

What did your mother say?


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> I'd prefer her on a couch explaining why the world has mistreated her.
> 
> Should be on the New York Times best seller list.
> 
> And quoted often by future psychology majors


Well I'd prefer her in a padded room and a straight jacket....heavily medicated couldn't hurt either haha!


----------



## honcho

Marc878 said:


> Look man, this poor woman for years put up with you combing your hair wrong, leaving the toilet seat up, not buying her the Mercedes she always wanted, Rolex watch and such.
> 
> How could you do this to her???????


I have "forgiven myself" for making her life a living h**l. Haha 

The OM does have a jaguar so I can understand why my vehicle choices drove her to insane. Maybe after a few years of therapy I can accept I may have left the toilet seat up, I swear I didnt but the fog of denial is powerful.


----------



## Chuck71

honcho said:


> Well I'd prefer her in a padded room and a straight jacket....heavily medicated couldn't hurt either haha!


:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:


----------



## honcho

LongWalk said:


> What did your mother say?


She was very nonchalant about it. She mentioned almost as an afterthought, it came up when I was looking at some of the cards making small talk about distance relatives and friends when she said crazy girl sent a card this year and signed both our names.


----------



## Pluto2

I thought she had issues with denial before, the divorce. So maybe she thinks you're still married! So where are you taking her for your next anniversary? It better be nice, you know how moody she can become.

>


----------



## honcho

Pluto2 said:


> I thought she had issues with denial before, the divorce. So maybe she thinks you're still married! So where are you taking her for your next anniversary? It better be nice, you know how moody she can become.
> 
> >


Now I think calling her moody is a bit rash haha

My mom is like that, she divorced my dad after 30+ years of marriage. Always made excuses why she divorced him, financial etc etc but never considered herself divorced. She still tells everyone he was her husband, acts and talks like the divorce never happened.

Given the issues my mom has for the most part we just leave her in her "unique" world but when he died years ago it was a huge problem because legally she had no say in anything. She couldn't comprehend that she had legal rights for funeral etc. It became a mess and 10+ years later she still pester me on occasion to have his body moved to the cemetery she "wants".


----------



## Chuck71

You should ask her out for New Year's Eve..... any place you'd want to take her?


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> You should ask her out for New Year's Eve..... any place you'd want to take her?


Alas with my busy social calendar I find I'm booked that night already. 

Maybe her lawyer will throw her a big party, it's the least he could do for all the money he hosed her for.


----------



## honcho

Last week I received the final divorce decree in the mail after a couple of months of trying to get the paperwork accurate. It's still wrong and not what the judge ordered but every version received from team crazy would take out an item, then add something later. My lawyer told me to deduct the monetary differences from his bill so in essence he was paying for the additions. In other words he just wants out and doesn't care. 

I can't blame him on that really but it's incredible to me how this joke of a legal system works. She now has 30 days to cut me a check which I'm sure will never happen and I'll have to take her to court chasing it. 

Receiving the paperwork admittedly set me back on am emotional level. Most people are thrilled to receive the paperwork and I view it as a great failure and a monument to 3 years of nightmare. None of it ever had to be this way, I still would have given the nut job the easiest divorce just to get it done way back in the beginning. 

I should appeal the ruling as bad and dumb as it was. I have and always will be a guy who gets hung up on the principal of things and this divorce was handled so badly from the get go by the idiot judge. I'm so battle weary if she just writes the check and goes away I probably won't. 

She has been quiet for the last couple of weeks which has been a relief but at the same time I wake every day wondering if this is the day she pulls something. 

I did get a call from the sheriff dept 2 nights ago. First thing the cops asks me is S there? Really why in the world would he think she is here. Then he asks me if I have her phone number. This is when I ask him if he is new or if this is a joke. Turns out they were looking for her to arrest her for a theft. I just started laughing as I found this funny in my warped sense of humor. Told the cop she is probably doing this to save cash for the check she needs to write me. He didn't know what to say at that. 

Good to see she is still digging her pit deeper. Last time she pulled a similar stunt it cost me a bunch of cash and several favors to fix, now I can just laugh at the stupidity.


----------



## farsidejunky

I would be done with it. Sunk costs, brother. Write it off and get on with living.

Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk


----------



## Pluto2

Write it off.
Between the appeals, remands, retrials and more appeals that are all possible, she could keep this going for a good decade. You need closure.

And who knows, maybe you'll get a check in the mail with a return address for the county jail. 

You weren't and aren't a failure. Remember it takes two people to keep a marriage going. No one can do it by themselves.


----------



## ReturntoZero

honcho said:


> Last week I received the final divorce decree in the mail after a couple of months of trying to get the paperwork accurate. It's still wrong and not what the judge ordered but every version received from team crazy would take out an item, then add something later. My lawyer told me to deduct the monetary differences from his bill so in essence he was paying for the additions. In other words he just wants out and doesn't care.
> 
> I can't blame him on that really but it's incredible to me how this joke of a legal system works. She now has 30 days to cut me a check which I'm sure will never happen and I'll have to take her to court chasing it.
> 
> Receiving the paperwork admittedly set me back on am emotional level. Most people are thrilled to receive the paperwork and I view it as a great failure and a monument to 3 years of nightmare. None of it ever had to be this way, I still would have given the nut job the easiest divorce just to get it done way back in the beginning.
> 
> I should appeal the ruling as bad and dumb as it was. I have and always will be a guy who gets hung up on the principal of things and this divorce was handled so badly from the get go by the idiot judge. I'm so battle weary if she just writes the check and goes away I probably won't.
> 
> She has been quiet for the last couple of weeks which has been a relief but at the same time I wake every day wondering if this is the day she pulls something.
> 
> I did get a call from the sheriff dept 2 nights ago. First thing the cops asks me is S there? Really why in the world would he think she is here. Then he asks me if I have her phone number. This is when I ask him if he is new or if this is a joke. Turns out they were looking for her to arrest her for a theft. I just started laughing as I found this funny in my warped sense of humor. Told the cop she is probably doing this to save cash for the check she needs to write me. He didn't know what to say at that.
> 
> Good to see she is still digging her pit deeper. Last time she pulled a similar stunt it cost me a bunch of cash and several favors to fix, now I can just laugh at the stupidity.


The term "disordered" seems so mild when referring to her.


----------



## honcho

Pluto2 said:


> Write it off.
> Between the appeals, remands, retrials and more appeals that are all possible, she could keep this going for a good decade. You need closure.
> 
> And who knows, maybe you'll get a check in the mail with a return address for the county jail.
> 
> You weren't and aren't a failure. Remember it takes two people to keep a marriage going. No one can do it by themselves.


She will keep this going on some way forever. I will never get truly get closure and gave up on getting that long ago. The money I can write off, if I appeal it would have little overall impact in my decision. 

This case was mishandled, bungled and the very laws of this state were not followed by the judge. He is incompetent and should not be in the position he is in.


----------



## arbitrator

honcho said:


> She will keep this going on some way forever. I will never get truly get closure and gave up on getting that long ago. The money I can write off, if I appeal it would have little overall impact in my decision.
> 
> This case was mishandled, bungled and the very laws of this state were not followed by the judge. He is incompetent and should not be in the position he is in.


* @honcho ~ if the final decree of divorce says that she owes you an unusually large, set amount of money for a specified purpose, then it would be a bloody day in hell before I would acquiese and let her keep it! 

Provided that I had the personal savings to fight it with, I'd recommend making her life a living hell from the legal perspective, until such time that she came across with the funds, or that she was escorted to the County jail for contempt of court!

Just saying!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## LongWalk

Glad you are divorced. Congrats again.


----------



## honcho

Well as expected my lovely ex bride didnt fulfill the terms of the court order as the deadline passed last week. It's too much money to just chalk it up as a learning experience and not chase it. 

I just dread starting the legal 3 ring circus again. Why can't she just do what the court ordered and get on with her magical new life or whatever is going on in the land of Oz.


----------



## Pluto2

Sorry Honcho. She just won't let you go.


----------



## Chuck71

honcho said:


> Well as expected my lovely ex bride didnt fulfill the terms of the court order as the deadline passed last week. It's too much money to just chalk it up as a learning experience and not chase it.
> 
> I just dread starting the legal 3 ring circus again. Why can't she just do what the court ordered and get on with her magical new life or whatever is going on in the land of Oz.


If she will agree to pay this....... tell her you will begin the porn royalty checks immediately afterwards


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> If she will agree to pay this....... tell her you will begin the porn royalty checks immediately afterwards


Even an incredibly generous offer like that wouldnt tempt the nut job to pay me haha!

This as most things in divorce is the no win scenario. If I don't haul her into court to fulfill the court ordered payment, she keep the cash and "wins". If I haul her into court the drama and fight begins again and she "wins"


----------



## Chuck71

Choose the "win" where she walks away with the least amount of cash.

Next court date..... appear with a female. Don't care if it's your 4th cousin from Idaho.... twice removed....

Just show up with a female..... no need to hug n kiss.... just occasional looks

She will stew more than an Italian chef at a meetaballsa convention


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> Choose the "win" where she walks away with the least amount of cash.
> 
> Next court date..... appear with a female. Don't care if it's your 4th cousin from Idaho.... twice removed....
> 
> Just show up with a female..... no need to hug n kiss.... just occasional looks
> 
> She will stew more than an Italian chef at a meetaballsa convention


One more court appearance and I think I qualify for my own parking spot at the courthouse. 

If I showed up at court with a woman I'm pretty sure they would be passing out bulletproof vests given my lovely ex-brides behavior. Mine would have the big bullseye on it haha


----------



## Chuck71

I miss your comedy.... any updates? No? He!! lie to us.... Any more lawn mower comments?

Is she off your Christmas card list?


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> I miss your comedy.... any updates? No? He!! lie to us.... Any more lawn mower comments?
> 
> Is she off your Christmas card list?


Life has been boring in crazy people land. The financial stuff still isn't done and at this point I've basically given up. Had two hearings over the summer and both went as I expected. First hearing judge gave her an extension and deadline to come up with the funds which didn't happen. Second hearing she didn't show up but her therapist sent a letter to the judge stating team crazy was looking for a new lawyer and asking for a delay so of course another delay. 

The benefit right now is she is leaving me alone and she is not harassing my friends either. I'm enjoying the quiet more than the satisfaction of chasing her for money so I've just let the sleeping dog lie for now. I'm just sick of spending money on a lawyer just to deal with a judge who simply won't do his job. 

I've actually been seeing a woman recently. She is recently divorced after a 23 year marriage. I enjoy her company and she thinks my strange sense of humor is funny. She is quiet and introverted quite the opposite of crazy girl. She has 3 sons, all adults now. Neither of us are in a rush for a full blown relationship so we will see how it goes.


----------



## Chuck71

Glad to hear this. I'm sure the silence to you is pure golden. Amazing how she went from 

Point A to Point B. Happens all the time. You missed your calling as a comedian...

Not that this "election" has changed my previous thoughts but the crap you had to go through....

has left me with no respect or regard for our government. You are 35 and native born.... can I write you in

this November?


----------



## FeministInPink

Ah, peace and quiet... enjoy it while it lasts 

Glad to hear about your new lady friend. You deserve a nice female friend who is... normal.


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> Glad to hear this. I'm sure the silence to you is pure golden. Amazing how she went from
> 
> Point A to Point B. Happens all the time. You missed your calling as a comedian...
> 
> Not that this "election" has changed my previous thoughts but the crap you had to go through....
> 
> has left me with no respect or regard for our government. You are 35 and native born.... can I write you in
> 
> this November?


I did some government contract work years ago and lost all respect for how our government operates then. My amicable divorce only confirmed my already cynical view of its operation. If people only had a real idea of how badly all levels of government are run......

Alas I was born in a foreign country to American citizen parents so no doubt I would have birth certificate scandals follow me >

Crazy girl is only leaving me alone because she owes me money. That is her first love. She left her first two fiance's over money and the OM has money which no doubt caught her eye more than his beer gut. Let's hope the next sap realizes this before he get's too invested in her.


----------



## honcho

After a few months of dating I'm back to being single again. We broke up a couple of days ago. I had a feeling from the start it wouldn't last long term given how short a time it was after her divorce. We did enjoy each other's company, we didn't have any disagreements or fights, think it just ran it's course more than anything. While I'm disappointed it's ended it wasn't really moving forward either. It seemed weird to me that from a relationship standpoint everytime she would make a noticeable step it would always be followed by a pull back. 

After being married for as long as she was I'm sure the want to be single played a large part in the decision rather than just head into another relationship. She is very introverted and has a few close friends. I've met her friends and all remarked how happy and content she seemed to be after we started dating, even her sons made that comment. Alas as the old saying goes it wasn't meant to be. 

Crazy ex has pretty much been non existent, about 3 months ago she was bugging a friend of mine out of the blue and last month she was covering a different area for someone on vacation which happens to be the territory for my distribution center that I own. I was suddenly hearing crazy girl stories from a bunch of store managers who had never had the "pleasure" of meeting her before. You'd think after all this time she would just give up trying to create the drama. She is truly clueless in how crazy she makes herself look. Well at least she isn't bothering me directly. Other than that not much going on in my world.


----------



## ReturntoZero

She is way out in front for the "crazy ex" prize

You would think the competition was fierce

But, with her in the field? Not that close.


----------



## Chuck71

The push / pull is very common with people first dating after a long term M. You get those feelings

going and you want to wade in more..... then you remember what happened the last time you

went into the water. A Hangover Crew friend recently went through the same thing last year.

Quite a few females on OLD who are coming out of 15-20 year M, get more attention than they 

have had since... well HS or maybe when she first started seeing her XH. The deal is... most of 

the guys showing attention, are after sex (often women trade sex for attention, men attention for sex).

After they get burned a few times they just collect the attention and stop taking the risk.

I'm sure guys are the same way but since..... I don't date guy, I wouldn't know :grin2:

As for your "special XW" ..... she's like my ex aunt, gotta have drama or they get bored to death.

Sad part is... she isn't alone on mom's side of the family. Reason I knew a long time ago, after mom

passes, I wash my hands of her family.


----------



## 3Xnocharm

Wow Honcho, I just read your story... UNREAL!! I had no idea of the nightmare that you have been through to get your divorce! Much respect to you, sir.


----------



## ReturntoZero

3Xnocharm said:


> Wow Honcho, I just read your story... UNREAL!! I had no idea of the nightmare that you have been through to get your divorce! Much respect to you, sir.


With all due respect, how did you miss it?

Honcho's ex is the only one crazier than Ceegee's


----------



## 3Xnocharm

ReturntoZero said:


> With all due respect, how did you miss it?
> 
> Honcho's ex is the only one crazier than Ceegee's


Good question! lol.. I just never did click into this thread for whatever reason! :slap:

Actually LoneShadow's ex was this bat**** as well...


----------



## Chuck71

We can't forget Script's.... the "Princess Lizard"


----------



## ReturntoZero

Chuck71 said:


> We can't forget Script's.... the "Princess Lizard"


They all make Window Cork look like a tower of strength.


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> We can't forget Script's.... the "Princess Lizard"


Unfortunately there are too many "memorable" ones on this site.


----------



## TheGoodGuy

honcho said:


> Unfortunately there are too many "memorable" ones on this site.


QFT


----------



## Chuck71

ReturntoZero said:


> They all make Window Cork look like a tower of strength.


Well from the pic I posted of her on here.... GP did say she had great strength... like in the shot put


----------



## honcho

Not much going on in my world. Been a quiet summer on the social front but busy on the business front. Got a couple of different opportunities to expand my business and I've been debating which is the best direction to go. 

About a week ago bored I decided I'd try an old site again just to look around more out of curiosity than anything. Low and behold this afternoon someone sent me a message. My crazy ex''s sister :surprise: I haven't spoken to any of her family members in years now. I'd actually have to enter my credit card and fully register to read the thing. I must admit I got a morbid curiosity to read the message. I can't figure out why after all this time she would waste the time. It just put me in a weird place today for whatever reason.

Guess I should just delete the profile and give up on old sites again.


----------



## Chuck71

honcho said:


> Not much going on in my world. Been a quiet summer on the social front but busy on the business front. Got a couple of different opportunities to expand my business and I've been debating which is the best direction to go.
> 
> About a week ago bored I decided I'd try an old site again just to look around more out of curiosity than anything. Low and behold this afternoon someone sent me a message. My crazy ex''s sister :surprise: I haven't spoken to any of her family members in years now. I'd actually have to enter my credit card and fully register to read the thing. I must admit I got a morbid curiosity to read the message. I can't figure out why after all this time she would waste the time. It just put me in a weird place today for whatever reason.
> 
> Guess I should just delete the profile and give up on old sites again.


Can you message her? If you're that curious? Do like I tell the other guys, post it on the free sites

and don't send out any messages. Let them come to you. Yes it can be done, hell I did it.

During that time, get out and mingle.


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> Can you message her? If you're that curious? Do like I tell the other guys, post it on the free sites
> 
> and don't send out any messages. Let them come to you. Yes it can be done, hell I did it.
> 
> During that time, get out and mingle.


I don't think I could message her without doing a paid subscription nor would I. With all the fake r/o attempts and wackiness of the crazy ex all I need after all this time is to try to and contact her family have it get back to her and start the circus again. Yeah I sound paranoid but I do think I'm justified in my paranoia haha. I'd never respond to whatever she wrote,just wonder what in the world she would have wrote and why. In October the divorce will be final for 2 years and the mess started almost 3 years before that. After October my crazy ex cant try and haul me back to court for alimony either so i dont need the boat rocked. Her sister was never the brightest bulb in the room. 

Honestly I only signed up on the site cause I was bored and wanted to "window shop" one night. A couple people sent me messages but none of them I had any interest in. I didn't even bother to fill out a complete profile


----------



## Chuck71

honcho said:


> I don't think I could message her without doing a paid subscription nor would I. With all the fake r/o attempts and wackiness of the crazy ex all I need after all this time is to try to and contact her family have it get back to her and start the circus again. Yeah I sound paranoid but I do think I'm justified in my paranoia haha. I'd never respond to whatever she wrote,just wonder what in the world she would have wrote and why. In October the divorce will be final for 2 years and the mess started almost 3 years before that. After October my crazy ex cant try and haul me back to court for alimony either so i dont need the boat rocked. Her sister was never the brightest bulb in the room.
> 
> Honestly I only signed up on the site cause I was bored and wanted to "window shop" one night. A couple people sent me messages but none of them I had any interest in. I didn't even bother to fill out a complete profile


I can already tell you what the message was...... in Vader's words at the end of Return of the Jedi....

"You were right."


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> I can already tell you what the message was...... in Vader's words at the end of Return of the Jedi....
> 
> "You were right."


They live in world of perfect denial and they'd never say that no matter how much they thought it. 

No doubt the message would be more along the lines of rod serling "that's the sign post up ahead, your next stop, the twilight zone.....


----------



## farsidejunky

You are emotionally detached from the craziness at this point, no?

Who knows...it may just be the subject of your next toast.


----------



## ReturntoZero

honcho said:


> Not much going on in my world. Been a quiet summer on the social front but busy on the business front. Got a couple of different opportunities to expand my business and I've been debating which is the best direction to go.
> 
> About a week ago bored I decided I'd try an old site again just to look around more out of curiosity than anything. Low and behold this afternoon someone sent me a message. My crazy ex''s sister :surprise: I haven't spoken to any of her family members in years now. I'd actually have to enter my credit card and fully register to read the thing. I must admit I got a morbid curiosity to read the message. I can't figure out why after all this time she would waste the time. It just put me in a weird place today for whatever reason.
> 
> Guess I should just delete the profile and give up on old sites again.


Of course, I would get the message and share it here.

We'll know what to do with it.

This isn't Animal House.. .you won't be "f'ing" up by trusting us.


----------



## cma62

Honcho,
I have read your thread in its entirety. Sorry you are going through this nightmare.
Hopefully it will be over soon and you can close the book on that chapter of your life.

Whilst reading your thread I came across "FOO"... used quite a bit.....what does that mean?..... thanks


----------



## honcho

cma62 said:


> Honcho,
> I have read your thread in its entirety. Sorry you are going through this nightmare.
> Hopefully it will be over soon and you can close the book on that chapter of your life.
> 
> Whilst reading your thread I came across "FOO"... used quite a bit.....what does that mean?..... thanks


Foo, family of origin. Many issues people have in the here and now stem back from there childhood, how they were raised and early life experiences.


----------



## cma62

Thank you Honcho for your explanation


----------



## honcho

So I'm within a couple of days of the 5 year anniversary of dday and I can't believe how much time has passed and was thinking about that last night. Then today out of the blue I almost ran into her at a store. I haven't seen her since our final court hearing a couple years ago. I'm not sure if she saw me or not, I saw her and heard her voice talking to someone in the aisle and I turned around and headed out. It really caught me off guard and admit it triggered me all day after that. It shouldn't have bugged me as much as it did but it did. I spent half the day wondering if she saw me and half wondering when the swat team would show up at the house > People I know have occasionally run into her and they have said the crazy train in her head has never slowed down. 

Other than that life has been going OK. I sold my business a couple months ago and bought a new one much close to home. I made a good return on my investment selling and the new one makes more money so I'm happy about that. A couple more payments and I'll even have the lawyer paid off and even happier about that haha! 

Nothing new on the dating front, haven't been looking very hard either. I'm just not that interested in getting into another relationship right now. The advantages of single life are still outweighing the advantages of relationship life I guess.

Other than that not much going on in my Lil corner of the world.


----------



## Chuck71

honcho said:


> So I'm within a couple of days of the 5 year anniversary of dday and I can't believe how much time has passed and was thinking about that last night. Then today out of the blue I almost ran into her at a store. I haven't seen her since our final court hearing a couple years ago. I'm not sure if she saw me or not, I saw her and heard her voice talking to someone in the aisle and I turned around and headed out. It really caught me off guard and admit it triggered me all day after that. It shouldn't have bugged me as much as it did but it did. I spent half the day wondering if she saw me and half wondering when the swat team would show up at the house > People I know have occasionally run into her and they have said the crazy train in her head has never slowed down.
> 
> Other than that life has been going OK. I sold my business a couple months ago and bought a new one much close to home. I made a good return on my investment selling and the new one makes more money so I'm happy about that. A couple more payments and I'll even have the lawyer paid off and even happier about that haha!
> 
> Nothing new on the dating front, haven't been looking very hard either. I'm just not that interested in getting into another relationship right now. The advantages of single life are still outweighing the advantages of relationship life I guess.
> 
> Other than that not much going on in my Lil corner of the world.


Did her lawyer, her and the judge ever get a reality series? One crazy mofo'n bunch....

Funny how the 5 year mark really lets us know how far we have traveled......

...... I forget... did she ever get that high tech ammo induced lawn mower? 8>)


----------



## FeministInPink

@honcho I would have high-tailed it out of there, too!

Otherwise, glad to hear that things are going so well for you!

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> Did her lawyer, her and the judge ever get a reality series? One crazy mofo'n bunch....
> 
> Funny how the 5 year mark really lets us know how far we have traveled......
> 
> ...... I forget... did she ever get that high tech ammo induced lawn mower? 8>)


Yup she got the lawnmower and probably enjoying it as much as the broken big screen TV she had to have haha! 

In many ways even after 5 years some things still feel like yesterday and others feel like a lifetime ago, the road had many twists and turns and once in a while you get stuck in one of those stupid round a bouts and drive in circles haha! The longest lasting is the overall financial devastation. I still remember the conversation I had with her shortly before the meltdown where I thought we could retire in 10 years. Now 5+ years later I'm looking at 5 more years just to get back to the position I was 5 years ago......the joys of no fault amicable divorce>

Last week i heard that her om got himself another crazy one and is in the center of yet another divorce. This makes 8 that I know of now, 2 more and the state Bar association should give him a free gift for all the business he helps create for lawyers >


----------



## just got it 55

honcho said:


> Yup she got the lawnmower and probably enjoying it as much as the broken big screen TV she had to have haha!
> 
> In many ways even after 5 years some things still feel like yesterday and others feel like a lifetime ago, the road had many twists and turns and once in a while you get stuck in one of those stupid round a bouts and drive in circles haha! The longest lasting is the overall financial devastation. I still remember the conversation I had with her shortly before the meltdown where I thought we could retire in 10 years. Now 5+ years later I'm looking at 5 more years just to get back to the position I was 5 years ago......the joys of no fault amicable divorce>
> 
> Last week i heard that her om got himself another crazy one and is in the center of yet another divorce. This makes 8 that I know of now, 2 more and the state Bar association should give him a free gift for all the business he helps create for lawyers >


Honcho There is good reason your posts are the voice of reason and good advice

You have lived it my friend

55


----------



## ReturntoZero

honcho said:


> Yup she got the lawnmower and probably enjoying it as much as the broken big screen TV she had to have haha!
> 
> In many ways even after 5 years some things still feel like yesterday and others feel like a lifetime ago, the road had many twists and turns and once in a while you get stuck in one of those stupid round a bouts and drive in circles haha! The longest lasting is the overall financial devastation. I still remember the conversation I had with her shortly before the meltdown where I thought we could retire in 10 years. Now 5+ years later I'm looking at 5 more years just to get back to the position I was 5 years ago......the joys of no fault amicable divorce>
> 
> Last week i heard that her om got himself another crazy one and is in the center of yet another divorce. This makes 8 that I know of now, 2 more and the state Bar association should give him a free gift for all the business he helps create for lawyers >


So now posOM gets to deal with the real BroomHilda?

It's difficult to keep up with her.


----------



## honcho

ReturntoZero said:


> So now posOM gets to deal with the real BroomHilda?
> 
> It's difficult to keep up with her.


No, she lived with him about 2 months before he got sick of her and tossed her out way back in the beginning of the mess. It took him a good couple of months to actually get rid of her after that as she would just show up at his house or if he wasn't home she would just let herself in and be waiting for him when he got home. She never believed him when he said it was over. She blew thru several guys in the months after that, last one I heard of was the child porn felon that she decided was the "soulmate". That one lasted less than a month as he violated his parole and went back to jail. She can pick them! After that I told everyone I know to not tell me who she was shacking up with or seeing.

The om has a revolving door at his house. He usually keeps them around for about 6 months and once he lines up his new conquest tosses the old and brings in the new. Somehow he always finds one.


----------



## ReturntoZero

honcho said:


> No, she lived with him about 2 months before he got sick of her and tossed her out way back in the beginning of the mess. It took him a good couple of months to actually get rid of her after that as she would just show up at his house or if he wasn't home she would just let herself in and be waiting for him when he got home. She never believed him when he said it was over. She blew thru several guys in the months after that, last one I heard of was the child porn felon that she decided was the "soulmate". That one lasted less than a month as he violated his parole and went back to jail. She can pick them! After that I told everyone I know to not tell me who she was shacking up with or seeing.
> 
> The om has a revolving door at his house. He usually keeps them around for about 6 months and once he lines up his new conquest tosses the old and brings in the new. Somehow he always finds one.


We should have a TAM Lifetime Achievement Award for the posOM that has the most written about him here.

It "could be" her guy.


----------



## Chuck71

honcho said:


> No, she lived with him about 2 months before he got sick of her and tossed her out way back in the beginning of the mess. It took him a good couple of months to actually get rid of her after that as she would just show up at his house or if he wasn't home she would just let herself in and be waiting for him when he got home. She never believed him when he said it was over. She blew thru several guys in the months after that, last one I heard of was the child porn felon that she decided was the "soulmate". That one lasted less than a month as he violated his parole and went back to jail. She can pick them! After that I told everyone I know to not tell me who she was shacking up with or seeing.
> 
> The om has a revolving door at his house. He usually keeps them around for about 6 months and once he lines up his new conquest tosses the old and brings in the new. Somehow he always finds one.


I know I should have mentioned this before but... I was at a swap meet back in the summer.....

and there was this female dressed up as Tweety Bird... with a steel dildo, chasing people....

the costume ripped and she had green skin. Like the aliens from the mini-series "V" from the 1980s.

I thought I was just seeing things but I thought, that's Honcho's XW. Then I saw a Window Cork convention and

realized.... yep.... them's crazies travel in pairs. That was my XW btw....


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> I know I should have mentioned this before but... I was at a swap meet back in the summer.....
> 
> and there was this female dressed up as Tweety Bird... with a steel dildo, chasing people....
> 
> the costume ripped and she had green skin. Like the aliens from the mini-series "V" from the 1980s.
> 
> I thought I was just seeing things but I thought, that's Honcho's XW. Then I saw a Window Cork convention and
> 
> realized.... yep.... them's crazies travel in pairs. That was my XW btw....


Tweety Bird was her favorite cartoon character :surprise: 

She collected as sorts of tweety crap among her various collections and when dating should have been my first clue something wasn't right......


----------



## Absurdist

Well Honcho. I read your entire thread tonight. It took me two bags of doritos, 3 Reeces peanut butter cups and a couple of Zombie Dust Pale Ales. Yours is a page turner. Sheesh I'm glad your still sane.


----------



## honcho

So today was one of those craptastic days when you realize pretty early in the day you should never gotten out of bed. Driving to my first job this am the tonneau cover on my truck decides to take flight driving down the interstate. Once the heavy cross wind caught it that sucker flew like a kite...

This afternoon I had to put one of my dogs down. She was 16 and her kidneys gave out. These days always suck but at that age it's certainly not unexpected. Tonight it's the trip down memory lane as these events make you do that. The first time I took her duck hunting, she hit the water text book, swims out to the duck and grabs onto one of the decoys instead and ends up dragging the whole string of decoys back to land. She seemed so happy with herself, i ended up having to swim out to get the duck. She never was a great hunter but she always made me laugh. The day me and the crazy ex picked her up as a pup, it seems like yesterday. The time goes by so fast. 

A few days ago I ran into someone who told me crazy girl is trying to adopt a baby and filling out applications with any agency she can find. Let's hope no one is dumb enough to give her a child. This person never knew us as a married couple, she only found out a few weeks ago we were "happily married" once. Her curiosity got the best of her so she had to ask me about the tall tales she still tells. Suffice to say she is still firmly entrenched in the victim role still after all these years.


----------



## FeministInPink

Well, when someone wants to adopt, the agency would do a background check, wouldn't they? So I'm thinking you might get a call from the agencies she's applying to...

I'm sorry to hear about your dog. Losing a beloved furry friend is never easy. Please take care of yourself.

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk


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## ReturntoZero

honcho said:


> So today was one of those craptastic days when you realize pretty early in the day you should never gotten out of bed. Driving to my first job this am the tonneau cover on my truck decides to take flight driving down the interstate. Once the heavy cross wind caught it that sucker flew like a kite...
> 
> This afternoon I had to put one of my dogs down. She was 16 and her kidneys gave out. These days always suck but at that age it's certainly not unexpected. Tonight it's the trip down memory lane as these events make you do that. The first time I took her duck hunting, she hit the water text book, swims out to the duck and grabs onto one of the decoys instead and ends up dragging the whole string of decoys back to land. She seemed so happy with herself, i ended up having to swim out to get the duck. She never was a great hunter but she always made me laugh. The day me and the crazy ex picked her up as a pup, it seems like yesterday. The time goes by so fast.
> 
> A few days ago I ran into someone who told me crazy girl is trying to adopt a baby and filling out applications with any agency she can find. Let's hope no one is dumb enough to give her a child. This person never knew us as a married couple, she only found out a few weeks ago we were "happily married" once. Her curiosity got the best of her so she had to ask me about the tall tales she still tells. Suffice to say she is still firmly entrenched in the victim role still after all these years.


And what exactly did you expect?

I too hope the agencies are wise enough not to give her a chance to spread the poison to the next generation.

It's too late at my house, but that's a story for another day.


----------



## honcho

ReturntoZero said:


> And what exactly did you expect?
> 
> I too hope the agencies are wise enough not to give her a chance to spread the poison to the next generation.
> 
> It's too late at my house, but that's a story for another day.


I doubt any agency would ever take her application into serious consideration but that wouldn't stop her from applying, calling etc etc. Once she got an idea stuck in her head she always had tunnel vision not listening to anyone and plowing forward despite it being a hopeless battle. She did this so many times in other endeavors and it never turned out like she wanted. She can't even support herself let alone a child. She will waste a bunch of time and effort, then blame all the agencies because they "hate" her and then of course blame me somehow which is fine. It's like a broken record. If this keeps her distracted and out of my life so much the better. 

Her brothers and sisters have all cranked out plenty of kids and screwed up another generation....


----------



## honcho

Well I knew things were too quiet, she dragging me back to court chasing silliness. I got served a couple hours ago. 

They just never go away......


----------



## Lostinthought61

For what reason this time ?


----------



## farsidejunky

W...T...F...

What now?

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk


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## honcho

Back alimony apparently. Claims I hid stuff from the courts so even though the open hold period has lapsed it shouldn't matter. Our final date is also now suddenly different on the paperwork I got too, we got divorced in month of October 15 yet team crazy is claiming it wasn't final till January. I got my copy in January but your divorce when the judge says your divorced, not when some clerk gets around to mailing it months later.

I don't get it, nothing got done at the end and she still owes me money from the final order. I gave up chasing that long ago and now stir up the hornets nest? Surely the nut job realizes this and her lawyer can't be this stupid to think he can cherry pick something to chase without opening up the whole can of worms. 

It frankly took the wind out of my sails tonight, I just can't believe this freakshow is going to start up again after all these years, I almost had the lawyer paid off from the last round....why can't she just stay in her Lil delusional world and leave me alone. Tonight I just don't feel up for the looming battle especially when there is nothing for her to win.


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## sunsetmist

So sorry. Read your thread. She's the gift that keeps on giving. 

However, you are blessed to have no children with her genes. You are blessed to be divorced. Your business life seems to be good. You have likely saved many a person from being in your shoes.

My ex was mentally unstable (but highly functional in many areas) so I can empathize. It took me many years to reach indifference. I wasted years alone, because I didn't want to inflict his 'crazy' on someone else. 

You must be feeling pretty miserable, but this, too, will pass.


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## 3Xnocharm

Ugh... I hope she has to pay your attorney fees for this crap, when it comes out as nothing more than a witch hunt...


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## Evinrude58

Geez. Honcho, you should get some kind of special medal one day for having to deal with this wOman. It is sad that she can find lawyers that will do this to you. It’s weird, even. What’s in it for them? Does she actually pay them? Do they think they are going to win some huge sum from you?

You’d think they’d spend their time on cases that actually make them some money.

Sorry . Ex wives are Special alright


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## Kamstel

I just read your entire thread. To say it’s on believable is a major understatement!

Is it possible for your attorneys to file that she needs to pay for your lawyer fees since this is so ridiculous?

At least she’s forced your hand in going after the money she owes you.

Don’t let the craziness get you down.


----------



## honcho

Evinrude58 said:


> Geez. Honcho, you should get some kind of special medal one day for having to deal with this wOman. It is sad that she can find lawyers that will do this to you. It’s weird, even. What’s in it for them? Does she actually pay them? Do they think they are going to win some huge sum from you?
> 
> You’d think they’d spend their time on cases that actually make them some money.
> 
> Sorry . Ex wives are Special alright


Her lawyer retired the day after our divorce hearing but she's using the same firm. An ex gf I had used the lawyer my ex hired and he's a prototype sleazy divorce lawyer, ex gf didn't want a bloodbath divorce situation, she actually gave her then hubby a sweatheart deal because she did just want her freedom and the lawyer, spent months trying to convince to change her mind, fought with her, begged and pleaded and then dragged his feet, anything to run up a bill. She told me even when they were walking into the final hearing this lawyer made one final attempt to convince to back out and go for blood. Yes a lawyer needs to fully explain your options but they also need to listen to clients wishes. She never did have much good to say about him. 

Lawyers always get their money and back when the mess was going on full throttle my lawyer conjectured and some point she'd have to refinance the home to pay him off since we had tons of equity, I figured mommy would end up paying the bill. I've got no doubt they think they will end up with some huge cash haul here, she's probably told them I'm making hundreds of thousands because I'm self employed now and her usual tales of grandeur. I remember back when the divorce first started the immense disappointment when they saw my w2 wage compared to what she told them I made. They spend months crawling thru every back account etc looking for all this mystery cash I was making and hiding. They knew it didn't exist but it's easy billing and humoring the crazy. 

The whole game makes no sense here unless she lied and told them she paid me and we finished it all without lawyers or some such nonsense. The stuff the lawyer sent to the court to get a hearing was a blatant lie considering the judge, her lawyer and she knew and it's all on record yet he's citing this was all hidden info and whatnot. Back when this mess was finalized my lawyer tried several times to get it all finished up but team crazy legal team never responded or they would cancel meetings right before they were scheduled. I was outta cash and couldn't keep running up a bill to get nowhere and the court always granted her extension's or excused her behavior so I was easier to give up and save what little sanity I had. 

They will no doubt be disappointed again when they see much much I make with my "vast business empire" haha! This whole fiasco started back at the tail end of 2012, this divorce on paper was child's play for a lawyer it was so simple and yet over five and a half years later here we are. She wanted a divorce to be away from me yet she won't go away.......


----------



## Pluto2

clients lie to their attorneys all the time. Sorry about this @honcho


----------



## ReturntoZero

honcho said:


> Her lawyer retired the day after our divorce hearing but she's using the same firm. An ex gf I had used the lawyer my ex hired and he's a prototype sleazy divorce lawyer, ex gf didn't want a bloodbath divorce situation, she actually gave her then hubby a sweatheart deal because she did just want her freedom and the lawyer, spent months trying to convince to change her mind, fought with her, begged and pleaded and then dragged his feet, anything to run up a bill. She told me even when they were walking into the final hearing this lawyer made one final attempt to convince to back out and go for blood. Yes a lawyer needs to fully explain your options but they also need to listen to clients wishes. She never did have much good to say about him.
> 
> Lawyers always get their money and back when the mess was going on full throttle my lawyer conjectured and some point she'd have to refinance the home to pay him off since we had tons of equity, I figured mommy would end up paying the bill. I've got no doubt they think they will end up with some huge cash haul here, she's probably told them I'm making hundreds of thousands because I'm self employed now and her usual tales of grandeur. I remember back when the divorce first started the immense disappointment when they saw my w2 wage compared to what she told them I made. They spend months crawling thru every back account etc looking for all this mystery cash I was making and hiding. They knew it didn't exist but it's easy billing and humoring the crazy.
> 
> The whole game makes no sense here unless she lied and told them she paid me and we finished it all without lawyers or some such nonsense. The stuff the lawyer sent to the court to get a hearing was a blatant lie considering the judge, her lawyer and she knew and it's all on record yet he's citing this was all hidden info and whatnot. Back when this mess was finalized my lawyer tried several times to get it all finished up but team crazy legal team never responded or they would cancel meetings right before they were scheduled. I was outta cash and couldn't keep running up a bill to get nowhere and the court always granted her extension's or excused her behavior so I was easier to give up and save what little sanity I had.
> 
> They will no doubt be disappointed again when they see much much I make with my "vast business empire" haha! This whole fiasco started back at the tail end of 2012, this divorce on paper was child's play for a lawyer it was so simple and yet over five and a half years later here we are. She wanted a divorce to be away from me yet she won't go away.......


We relitigated my divorce also.

Insanity

"Hey, all that stuff in your front room, that's what the money you're seeking was spent on. YOU ALREADY HAVE IT"


----------



## honcho

Met with lawyer yesterday. First thing he says to me is I really do like you honcho,think your a great guy but I never wanted to see you again ......

Then he points to a pile of boxes in his office, says, that's part of your file, I never bothered to have it put away because I just knew someday you'd be back. 

I gave him the paperwork I was served, he alternated between laughing and staring in disbelief. He agreed nothing in the affidavit she gave to get this opened up again was factual, dates were wrong etc etc. He asked me if she ever paid me that he didn't know about, that was a big NO. Then he says what kind of an idiot lawyer opens up this can of worms without checking these kind of facts out. 

I gave him my biz records, tax returns for last 3 years, he reviewed them quickly and pretty much decided to go scorched earth to get this shut down quickly. He knows this atty a little bit and figures once he finds out some of the sorted details like her not paying me he will bail. He's too young to retire like her last lawyer haha! 

Even under the best of scenario he saw no winning angle here for her.


----------



## Decorum

honcho said:


> Her lawyer retired the day after our divorce hearing but she's using the same firm. An ex gf I had used the lawyer my ex hired and he's a prototype sleazy divorce lawyer, ex gf didn't want a bloodbath divorce situation, she actually gave her then hubby a sweatheart deal because she did just want her freedom and the lawyer, spent months trying to convince to change her mind, fought with her, begged and pleaded and then dragged his feet, anything to run up a bill. She told me even when they were walking into the final hearing this lawyer made one final attempt to convince to back out and go for blood. Yes a lawyer needs to fully explain your options but they also need to listen to clients wishes. She never did have much good to say about him.
> 
> Lawyers always get their money and back when the mess was going on full throttle my lawyer conjectured and some point she'd have to refinance the home to pay him off since we had tons of equity, I figured mommy would end up paying the bill. I've got no doubt they think they will end up with some huge cash haul here, she's probably told them I'm making hundreds of thousands because I'm self employed now and her usual tales of grandeur. I remember back when the divorce first started the immense disappointment when they saw my w2 wage compared to what she told them I made. They spend months crawling thru every back account etc looking for all this mystery cash I was making and hiding. They knew it didn't exist but it's easy billing and humoring the crazy.
> 
> The whole game makes no sense here unless she lied and told them she paid me and we finished it all without lawyers or some such nonsense. The stuff the lawyer sent to the court to get a hearing was a blatant lie considering the judge, her lawyer and she knew and it's all on record yet he's citing this was all hidden info and whatnot. Back when this mess was finalized my lawyer tried several times to get it all finished up but team crazy legal team never responded or they would cancel meetings right before they were scheduled. I was outta cash and couldn't keep running up a bill to get nowhere and the court always granted her extension's or excused her behavior so I was easier to give up and save what little sanity I had.
> 
> They will no doubt be disappointed again when they see much much I make with my "vast business empire" haha! This whole fiasco started back at the tail end of 2012, this divorce on paper was child's play for a lawyer it was so simple and yet over five and a half years later here we are. She wanted a divorce to be away from me yet she won't go away.......


That is just insane honcho, sorry man.

Maybe your lawyer can file some counter-crap, and run her tab up ha ha, idk.

I do know that you have come a long way, honcho.

This will show up in the rearview mirrow too.


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## honcho

--


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## honcho

Someone who knows my ex showed me a text today they received when she must have filed the paperwork to reopen this fiasco. 

If we had a victim of the year award she would get it. She must have sent it to everyone she knows talking about how she's finally worked up the courage to haul me back to court and how she finally wants "justice" for all the years of horrible abuse she endured. Then she goes on about how she's concerned that because of my monster anger issues she fears for her life and if she disappear's please make sure the police know I did it along with some other ramblings. Oh yeah, she's also picked out the name for the kid she will never get....

This is downright creepy


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## Kamstel

All you can do at this point s try and weather the storm and get into Court as quickly as possible


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## ReturntoZero

honcho said:


> Someone who knows my ex showed me a text today they received when she must have filed the paperwork to reopen this fiasco.
> 
> If we had a victim of the year award she would get it. She must have sent it to everyone she knows talking about how she's finally worked up the courage to haul me back to court and how she finally wants "justice" for all the years of horrible abuse she endured. Then she goes on about how she's concerned that because of my monster anger issues she fears for her life and if she disappear's please make sure the police know I did it along with some other ramblings. Oh yeah, she's also picked out the name for the kid she will never get....
> 
> This is downright creepy


Just when I think CeeGee's ex might take 1st place, yours doubles down.

She's "pulling ahead again"... the Secretariat of toxicity and victimhood.


----------



## just got it 55

honcho said:


> Hello, I have never posted on here before. My wife left on March and I am frankly still as lost today as i was the day she left. Have been married 15 years, dated 2 before that, we are both in our late 40's and have no children.
> Like so many I thought we had a great marriage, even 2 weeks before she left she was telling me I was the love of her life, that she was happy. Being a simple guy that tells me all is right in the married world, we dont have any big problems as far as I know.
> 2 weeks later she walks into the house, tells me she doesnt love me anymore, she hates me because we never had a child, twins actually, and she moved out and moved in with another man. Ironic part of this is, she couldnt have children and she never wanted to adopt. I know the person she moved in with, we live in a small town, known him for 30 years, so I knew how that relationship would go, after 2 or 3 months he would get bored and out she would go.
> My wife has had depression issues for several years and was taking medication which she quit taking shortly before she left which was about the time her perimenoupausal syptoms starting going into overdrive. She has been out of work for 2 years and working just a part-time job which she is overqualified for. Her father was hitting the more advanced stages of alzheimers and that was taking a toll on her. And one of her beloved dogs had advanced cancer and her time was just about up.
> Its like I hit a perfect storm of everything at once hitting her and its like she just snapped. She wanted to run away from her life and change everything.
> She filed for divorce without telling me, one day she cleaned out the bank accounts out of the blue. One day I came home and most of the furniture was gone out of house and she basically has been driven to destroy my life since then. She calls the police with claims that I am breaking into her cellphone and reading her text messeges, she calls them claiming I am sending spies into her place of employment keeping a watch on her none of which is true. She will send me a text once in a while with crazy demands and refuses to ever talk about anything. We havent spoken or seen each other since the end of May. I told her several times before that when she is ready to address the issues or problems she feels are in our marriage I would be more than happy to talk, we could go to a therapist, meet with her family whatever I would be willing. If she wanted to discusss breaking up the marriage and how we will divide things up etc, we can sit down and discuss that.
> She just refuses to talk, even her demands dont make sense, she wanted her clothes out of house at one point after I finally changed the locks. I told her to call me and arrange a time to pick them up, yet she refuses to pick them up. I offered to deliver and she says she is scared of me, how or why I will never know. Anyway why demand, when you have no intention of picking up or wanting them delivered?
> The now ex-boyfriend threw her out at the end of July, just like every single person in town told her would happen and the day it happens she files a restraining order against me accusing me of breaking into her boyfriends house and stabbing her favorite teddy bear in the heart....I was not even in the state when this incident occurred and had plenty of witnesses etc. It was a joke which finally got dismissed yet this girl just says everyone lied for me cause they like me better than her.
> She has done the most outlandish and crazy things these last few months, she needs some help. When she was living with the other man, she was in fantasy land, it was non-stop partying, he is retired and has money. I knew sooner or later that would end so I told her that when she is ready to talk or when he finally throws you out to not have too much pride, that I will listen, I want to listen and I want to understand what is happening with her life. and if she needs help I would help her.
> Every single person who has met or talked to her since she left all agree, she has had some sort of mental issue going on. She is now living in her car even though she has the financial means to get a house or apartment. I would leave our house and let her have it if she wanted it, we arent in a bad position moneywise.
> So I have rambled, given you some highlights of the year of hell so far, we are no farther along in divorce proceedings as far as any negotions than we were on day one cause she wont make any decisions or cant. Even her own lawyers says she doesnt apprear rational, she refused to show up for hearings. I still to this day want to help this girl out, she is the love of my life. Do I believe we can ever be a happy married couple again, I honestly dont know and yet I am still willing to try and at least get some true closure if that be the case. All the books, all the internet sites etc, it all comes down to communication, talking openly with one another, its not hard, things may be hard to hear but at least its a starting point.
> Yet as much as I want to send her a text and try at least one more time, at least tell her that her dogs I am caring for are doing well, she had 4 dogs, ask her how her father is doing, cause I care about him.
> Simply how do I at least try and get her to start talking one last time. Even if its deciding how we are going to divide up the house etc. It sure would be much easier if the two people who it affects could make some decisions instead of lawyers and courts who at the end of the day just dont care.


 @honcho Your XW has never changed since your very first post

Sorry that this is happening AGAIN

55


----------



## ReturntoZero

just got it 55 said:


> @honcho Your XW has never changed since your very first post
> 
> Sorry that this is happening AGAIN
> 
> 55


THIS TIME Gilligan and the Skipper are going to get rescued.


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## ConanHub

Mental help, not legal. What she desperately needs...


----------



## honcho

ConanHub said:


> Mental help, not legal. What she desperately needs...


Unfortunately the legal world helps keep her in the delusional world. Mental help only has a shot if patient wants help, most like my ex use it to reinforce the whacky world they create.


----------



## ConanHub

honcho said:


> Unfortunately the legal world helps keep her in the delusional world. Mental help only has a shot if patient wants help, most like my ex use it to reinforce the whacky world they create.


Just pisses me off that people don't mind using her like the guy she went to when leaving you. I know she is a colossal pain in the ass but I feel sorry for anyone in such an unstable and miserable state.


----------



## ReturntoZero

ConanHub said:


> Just pisses me off that people don't mind using her like the guy she went to when leaving you. I know she is a colossal pain in the ass but I feel sorry for anyone in such an unstable and miserable state.


Attorneys got their reputations from somewhere.


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## Chuck71

Guns n Roses Use your Illusion I and II epic release in 1991 was very popular in the law dorms.....


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## ReturntoZero

Chuck71 said:


> Guns n Roses Use your Illusion I and II epic release in 1991 was very popular in the law dorms.....


Redbirds are back brother. Headed to the Series.


----------



## honcho

ReturntoZero said:


> Redbirds are back brother. Headed to the Series.


Being a brewer fan I'm still bitter about 82 so let's be careful with the redbird love fest > the brewers are doing the usual end of year crumble but they played way over their heads during the first half year. 

Got a response from team crazy lawyer today, as expected it was colorful and over the top. He didn't like my tax returns and called me a liar of course hiding income. I couldn't help but chuckle in his letter when he questioned how on my income could I afford not a new 1/2 ton, not a new 3/4 ton but a full fledged brand spanking new 2 ton pickemup truck. Of course we cant let little details like no company on the planet make's a 2 ton truck. Little did I know that my several year old truck with almost 200k miles on it was such a rare and apparently valuable item......

This is the type of foolishness that drives me batty and have no patience for making dumb statements like this based on the pure fantasy world of a lunatic all costing us money that neither can afford. This will be like chasing the imaginary ammo supply that never existed yet we had to spend months digging thru financial records to show I didn't buy any ammo. 

I'm sure my lawyer will spend the weekend new caddy shopping, I'll be digging ditches and trenches getting ready for the trench warfare that I can see coming.


----------



## ReturntoZero

honcho said:


> Being a brewer fan I'm still bitter about 82 so let's be careful with the redbird love fest > the brewers are doing the usual end of year crumble but they played way over their heads during the first half year.
> 
> Got a response from team crazy lawyer today, as expected it was colorful and over the top. He didn't like my tax returns and called me a liar of course hiding income. I couldn't help but chuckle in his letter when he questioned how on my income could I afford not a new 1/2 ton, not a new 3/4 ton but a full fledged brand spanking new 2 ton pickemup truck. Of course we cant let little details like no company on the planet make's a 2 ton truck. Little did I know that my several year old truck with almost 200k miles on it was such a rare and apparently valuable item......
> 
> This is the type of foolishness that drives me batty and have no patience for making dumb statements like this based on the pure fantasy world of a lunatic all costing us money that neither can afford. This will be like chasing the imaginary ammo supply that never existed yet we had to spend months digging thru financial records to show I didn't buy any ammo.
> 
> I'm sure my lawyer will spend the weekend new caddy shopping, I'll be digging ditches and trenches getting ready for the trench warfare that I can see coming.


You have to have PTSD by now.

She's pulling ahead of @Ceegee's ex again.

Just when you think the lead is safe.


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## Kamstel

Isn’t it obvious?!?!

She’s talking about how much your truck weighs. 🤣

Are you going after the money she never paid you?

And I’m sorry, but when was your divorce finalized?

Does she have a new boyfriend?


So sorry you still have to deal with this insanity


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## Kamstel

Is it possible to convince the judge that the claims are so crazy that she should pay for you me legal fees?


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## honcho

Kamstel said:


> Isn’t it obvious?!?!
> 
> She’s talking about how much your truck weighs. 🤣
> 
> Are you going after the money she never paid you?
> 
> And I’m sorry, but when was your divorce finalized?
> 
> Does she have a new boyfriend?
> 
> 
> So sorry you still have to deal with this insanity


Yes I'll chase the cash she owes me, her lawyer conveniently forgot to mention when I could pick up the check in his rebuttal today. The final hearing was 3 years ago this month and was officially finalized by judge in October of that year I think. 

She has no boyfriend, blown thru at least a dozen over the last few years from what I hear. From what her one friend told me they arent the cream of the crop. I'd pay someone to be her boyfriend if she'd leave me alone. 

I've asked the courts to have her cover legal fees so many times its a broken record. They always, always excuse her behavior because of her "conditions" and deny my requests.


----------



## ReturntoZero

honcho said:


> Yes I'll chase the cash she owes me, her lawyer conveniently forgot to mention when I could pick up the check in his rebuttal today. The final hearing was 3 years ago this month and was officially finalized by judge in October of that year I think.
> 
> She has no boyfriend, blown thru at least a dozen over the last few years from what I hear. From what her one friend told me they arent the cream of the crop. I'd pay someone to be her boyfriend if she'd leave me alone.
> 
> I've asked the courts to have her cover legal fees so many times its a broken record. They always, always excuse her behavior because of her "conditions" and deny my requests.


The legal system is feminine

No doubt about it.


----------



## honcho

ReturntoZero said:


> You have to have PTSD by now.
> 
> She's pulling ahead of @Ceegee's ex again.
> 
> Just when you think the lead is safe.


The mere mention of her name spikes my blood pressure and with this latest round of insanity I'm getting anxiety episodes I guess, the whole thing has thrown me for a loop. Having no faith in this joke of a legal system having survived it once hasn't helped. 

You simply cant get away from crazy, as @Ceegee can attest to, it never takes a holiday and always comes back to haunt you.


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## Ceegee

I don’t know. I thinks CT’s lead is insurmountable. 

My BPM’s are at 113 right now after talking to family about what to do next. 



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## ReturntoZero

We have no right to "demand" anything, but we love ya guy.

Are you going to fill us in?

Or is it simply too bad to explain?


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## Ceegee

I appreciate that. 

It’s just an impossible situation. 

My thoughts about what’s going on are fluid therefore hard to put into words right now. 

Every time I start typing I delete. 

I’ll be back when I’m better able to explain. 



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## ReturntoZero

Ceegee said:


> I appreciate that.
> 
> It’s just an impossible situation.
> 
> My thoughts about what’s going on are fluid therefore hard to put into words right now.
> 
> Every time I start typing I delete.
> 
> I’ll be back when I’m better able to explain.
> 
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Take your time.


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## Chuck71

dbl post


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## Chuck71

honcho said:


> Someone who knows my ex showed me a text today they received when she must have filed the paperwork to reopen this fiasco.
> 
> *If we had a victim of the year award she would get it. She must have sent it to everyone she knows talking about how she's finally worked up the courage to haul me back to court and how she finally wants "justice" for all the years of horrible abuse she endured*.
> 
> _Hand her a pack of Virginia Slims_
> 
> Then she goes on about how she's concerned that because of my monster anger issues she fears for her life and if she disappear's please make sure the police know I did it along with some other ramblings. Oh yeah, she's also picked out the name for the kid she will never get....
> 
> This is downright creepy


Ketchup'n on your thread. Your dog, I truly sympathies. I like my's dogs too. I think you read about my childhood Lab from Arb's thread. May have even read about Ty there. WC convincing me to get Ty was about the smartest thing she ever did.....

I hope Tweety Bird is unable to adopt. God help the gene pool if she does. That should go under the old Sports Illustrated section "The Sign Apocalypse is Coming." 

She wanted so fast to D you but can't leave you alone LOL..... sounds familiar. I'll update my thread soon on what WC just did. But if you "know of" WC, no surprise at all.

TB has to have both feet into concocted drama, that is ALL they know. Reality is not in their DNA. Obviously she hasn't a guy or she'd be leaving you alone. Offer her $50 to join a dating site. Maybe Sociopath Dating. She can give WC a discounted membership for recruiting like minds.


----------



## Chuck71

honcho said:


> Being a brewer fan I'm still bitter about 82 so let's be careful with the redbird love fest > the brewers are doing the usual end of year crumble but they played way over their heads during the first half year.
> 
> Got a response from team crazy lawyer today, as expected it was colorful and over the top. He didn't like my tax returns and called me a liar of course hiding income. I couldn't help but chuckle in his letter when *he questioned how on my income could I afford not a new 1/2 ton, not a new 3/4 ton but a full fledged brand spanking new 2 ton pickemup truck. Of course we cant let little details like no company on the planet make's a 2 ton truck.* Little did I know that my several year old truck with almost 200k miles on it was such a rare and apparently valuable item......
> 
> This is the type of foolishness that drives me batty and have no patience for making dumb statements like this based on the pure fantasy world of a lunatic all costing us money that neither can afford. This will be like chasing the imaginary ammo supply that never existed yet we had to spend months digging thru financial records to show I didn't buy any ammo.
> 
> I'm sure my lawyer will spend the weekend new caddy shopping, I'll be digging ditches and trenches getting ready for the trench warfare that I can see coming.


Call him a liar and dare his juvenile ass to prove it. Document this lunacy, have your lawyer

draw up balance sheet on the money you have wasted with Doogie Howser. Take it to the bar association

or wherever needed and see if he can have license taken away or maybe, just pay you the cash

back you had to waste with Tweety n Doogie. I can't see HITF crap like this can go on.


----------



## Chuck71

ReturntoZero said:


> Redbirds are back brother. Headed to the Series.


Not yet...... sad Braves couldn't have added a #2 starter in off-season. Screamed it all winter. Braves, Phillies, Cubs, Cards, Brewers, Dodgers, Rockies, D'Backs. Still large group. 

If I had to drop one team off..... Rockies. Next....Phililes. Third....too early to call. Nice race though, could be worse, could be AL.... six teams, five spots. But we've known that since early July. Reminds me a bit of 2013 NL.....all five were decided in July.

Honcho....the 1982 East race was legend. Last game, Sutton v. Palmer. That doesn't happen anymore. Molitor was already a semi-star but he made his bones in that Series.

Question..... Molitor admitted to drug use in the 70s/early 80s. View his hit total up to '84 or even '86. After '86 he was up there with anyone, maybe except Gwynn. Minus injuries / drugs, you think he could have had 4,000 hits?


----------



## Chuck71

honcho said:


> Yes I'll chase the cash she owes me, her lawyer conveniently forgot to mention when I could pick up the check in his rebuttal today. The final hearing was 3 years ago this month and was officially finalized by judge in October of that year I think.
> 
> She has no boyfriend, blown thru at least a dozen over the last few years from what I hear. From what her one friend told me they arent the cream of the crop. I'd pay someone to be her boyfriend if she'd leave me alone.
> 
> I've asked the courts to have her cover legal fees so many times its a broken record. They always, always excuse her behavior because of her "conditions" and deny my requests.


Let me guess.... her "condition" has never been diagnosed by a physician. How many meds is she on?

WC resembled a traveling drug lab at the end. Sad thing is, you are her de facto H until she can snag

another one. By your indications..... ain't gonna happen. Blows me mind though this crap still

goes on three years later and you had zero kids. But we have to recall the following:

-Honcho received porn royalties when he secretly taped them having sex, but owned no camcorder
-Honcho withheld the ammo holding lawn mower from Tweety
-Honcho stole Tweety's fish tank and hid it at work
-Honcho hid $8 million in Swiss bank account
and if I look into my crystal ball..... it was NOT O'Leary's cow that started the Great Chicago Fire..... but Honcho's great great grandmother.

Sounds crazy don't it? Not if you've read Honcho's entire thread.


----------



## Chuck71

Ceegee said:


> I appreciate that.
> 
> It’s just an impossible situation.
> 
> My thoughts about what’s going on are fluid therefore hard to put into words right now.
> 
> Every time I start typing I delete.
> 
> I’ll be back when I’m better able to explain.
> 
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk








Try watching first Matrix again. Done quite bit of this with a Padawan. Enjoyed it.

You have our #s.


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> Call him a liar and dare his juvenile ass to prove it. Document this lunacy, have your lawyer
> 
> draw up balance sheet on the money you have wasted with Doogie Howser. Take it to the bar association
> 
> or wherever needed and see if he can have license taken away or maybe, just pay you the cash
> 
> back you had to waste with Tweety n Doogie. I can't see HITF crap like this can go on.


It goes on every day in the lawyer friendly buddy network court system. He doesn't need details like facts he has a crazy woman who has a creative imagination and has already learned she can get away with ton of silliness in the system. 

It's all waste of time foolishness and it didn't even make sense. He was questioning my vehicle expense in a given tax year then goes on the rant about how I must be deducting the full cost of my "brand new" truck except the truck in question wasn't even purchased till 2 years later, had no relevance to the tax year in question. He can easily ballpark my mileage for the year in question. I had 7 clients and a set schedule for service days in my territory, this is 2 minutes worth of effort on a calculator. Instead he bills 400 bucks to crazy girl on a letter that's a joke.

He did this with each and every line of deductions I had for my business filing discovery paperwork with the court. He even went on a rant about my cellphone exp, wanting to figure out how much use was personal and how much business dumb stuff like this. Most of the paperwork he is demanding doesn't even exist, I run a one man operation, not walmart.


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> Let me guess.... her "condition" has never been diagnosed by a physician. How many meds is she on?
> 
> WC resembled a traveling drug lab at the end. Sad thing is, you are her de facto H until she can snag
> 
> another one. By your indications..... ain't gonna happen. Blows me mind though this crap still
> 
> goes on three years later and you had zero kids. But we have to recall the following:
> 
> -Honcho received porn royalties when he secretly taped them having sex, but owned no camcorder
> -Honcho withheld the ammo holding lawn mower from Tweety
> -Honcho stole Tweety's fish tank and hid it at work
> -Honcho hid $8 million in Swiss bank account
> and if I look into my crystal ball..... it was NOT O'Leary's cow that started the Great Chicago Fire..... but Honcho's great great grandmother.
> 
> Sounds crazy don't it? Not if you've read Honcho's entire thread.


It was only 7 mil in a Swiss bank acct, I'm not greedy >

She's never going to hook another idiot, I was the only one dumb enough for that. Guessing but half the guys she's dated had some fun, used her for sex and the other half quickly figured she has "issues" and ran. She can hook them for a while with sex, she was never shy in the bedroom but sooner or later they see the crazy train coming down the tracks and bail. 

On thing that does bother me, her lawyer in his discovery crap was asking and questioning why certain accounts were either no longer active or closed. The only person who knows that stuff is me. Why do I get the feeling she's calling around pretending to be my wife yet fishing for financial info.....


----------



## just got it 55

Chuck Glad your back

Honcho carry on brother

55


----------



## ReturntoZero

I'm telling ya...

Honcho's ex vs. CeeGee's

It's Mickelson vs. Tiger in 2008


----------



## ReturntoZero

honcho said:


> It was only 7 mil in a Swiss bank acct, I'm not greedy >
> 
> She's never going to hook another idiot, I was the only one dumb enough for that. Guessing but half the guys she's dated had some fun, used her for sex and the other half quickly figured she has "issues" and ran. She can hook them for a while with sex, she was never shy in the bedroom but sooner or later they see the crazy train coming down the tracks and bail.
> 
> On thing that does bother me, her lawyer in his discovery crap was asking and questioning why certain accounts were either no longer active or closed. The only person who knows that stuff is me. Why do I get the feeling she's calling around pretending to be my wife yet fishing for financial info.....


Because she's a nutjob.

She makes mine look reasonable.


----------



## aine

honcho said:


> It goes on every day in the lawyer friendly buddy network court system. He doesn't need details like facts he has a crazy woman who has a creative imagination and has already learned she can get away with ton of silliness in the system.
> 
> It's all waste of time foolishness and it didn't even make sense. He was questioning my vehicle expense in a given tax year then goes on the rant about how I must be deducting the full cost of my "brand new" truck except the truck in question wasn't even purchased till 2 years later, had no relevance to the tax year in question. He can easily ballpark my mileage for the year in question. I had 7 clients and a set schedule for service days in my territory, this is 2 minutes worth of effort on a calculator. Instead he bills 400 bucks to crazy girl on a letter that's a joke.
> 
> He did this with each and every line of deductions I had for my business filing discovery paperwork with the court. He even went on a rant about my cellphone exp, wanting to figure out how much use was personal and how much business dumb stuff like this. Most of the paperwork he is demanding doesn't even exist, I run a one man operation, not walmart.


Can you file a complaint to his legal professional body in relation to his unprofessional conduct, wasting the courts time, unethical falsehoods, etc? 
Find out first from your own lawyer, come up with a complaint and tell your exW's lawyer that if he doesn't stop all his nonsense this is what you will do. TAMers from the US would be able to give you more insight into reporting unprofessional conduct.
This has been going on for 5 years, it is time to cut it out, no?


----------



## Chuck71

ReturntoZero said:


> I'm telling ya...
> 
> Honcho's ex vs. CeeGee's
> 
> It's Mickelson vs. Tiger in 2008


Same level as Queen Lizard, Matchbox, Thorburn's XW, Lone Shadow's XW, and Synthetic's XW.

Rare air


----------



## Chuck71

honcho said:


> It goes on every day in the lawyer friendly buddy network court system. He doesn't need details like facts he has a crazy woman who has a creative imagination and has already learned she can get away with ton of silliness in the system.
> 
> It's all waste of time foolishness and it didn't even make sense. He was questioning my vehicle expense in a given tax year then goes on the rant about how I must be deducting the full cost of my "brand new" truck except the truck in question wasn't even purchased till 2 years later, had no relevance to the tax year in question. He can easily ballpark my mileage for the year in question. I had 7 clients and a set schedule for service days in my territory, this is 2 minutes worth of effort on a calculator. Instead he bills 400 bucks to crazy girl on a letter that's a joke.
> 
> He did this with each and every line of deductions I had for my business filing discovery paperwork with the court. He even went on a rant about my cellphone exp, wanting to figure out how much use was personal and how much business dumb stuff like this. Most of the paperwork he is demanding doesn't even exist, I run a one man operation, not walmart.


LOL....... holy snake turds! You sure he is TBs lawyer and not your boss? You seem to have the 

Northern Good 'Ol Boy network, while I have the Southern. Have you tried contacting anyone? 

Yeah I mentioned this to you several years ago with the old fossil lawyer/judge. Set up a paper trail.

And contact your politicians in the area. You're getting shafted and by all accounts, they will

continue to do so until the End Days. 

PM if you have any questions.


----------



## Chuck71

honcho said:


> It was only 7 mil in a Swiss bank acct, I'm not greedy >
> 
> She's never going to hook another idiot, I was the only one dumb enough for that. Guessing but half the guys she's dated had some fun, used her for sex and the other half quickly figured she has "issues" and ran. She can hook them for a while with sex, she was never shy in the bedroom but sooner or later they see the crazy train coming down the tracks and bail.
> 
> On thing that does bother me, her lawyer in his discovery crap was asking and questioning why certain accounts were either no longer active or closed. The only person who knows that stuff is me. Why do I get the feeling she's calling around pretending to be my wife yet fishing for financial info.....


Well you do know she had to be a freak in bed to hide all the red flags. $100 says the freak disappeared

once the contract was signed. Be super nice if she is hacking into your financial accounts.

Ain't that against the law?? Change your passwords and maybe establish new emails.

Keep the old ones active though but move all data. Then establish your new business.

Honcho's Hacienda, luxurious 325 room hotel near Cabo. Penthouse, helipad, etc.

Let the Doogie Howser lawyer earn his $ with Tweety as his sidekick.


----------



## Cynthia

She may have signed up for on-line banking to find those accounts. Like @Chuck71 said, change your passwords to everything, especially e-mail and banking. Also change your secret questions. She probably knows all of that and may have used the information to hack into your accounts. You may be able to see when your accounts were viewed and have a case against her for hacking.

She may also have run a credit report on you using your SS#.


----------



## honcho

CynthiaDe said:


> She may have signed up for on-line banking to find those accounts. Like @Chuck71 said, change your passwords to everything, especially e-mail and banking. Also change your secret questions. She probably knows all of that and may have used the information to hack into your accounts. You may be able to see when your accounts were viewed and have a case against her for hacking.
> 
> She may also have run a credit report on you using your SS#.


No accounts exist anymore from marital life except one old checking account that they would only close if she signed paperwork to get off the account so it lays inactive with 5 bucks in it. I changed everything after divorce. If she tried she could get no info but even at that investment companies /banks etc shouldn't even tell her if accounts are closed or active. 

She can run a credit report, it sucks and certainly wouldn't help in her quest and only reinforce my claim that no empire exists.....


----------



## RandomDude

This is madness.

What's her diagnosis? Seems she went off the rails since she quit her medications (lexapro) correct?

It's heartbreaking and shocking at the same time. Like, people sometimes talk about Alzheimers and how tough it can make for couples, but this is something else, and with the courts/legal system all jumping in like vultures to exploit the situation.

Have you considered moving? Starting fresh? I know I would, where she just won't be able to reach me, whether through peers or anything.


----------



## honcho

RandomDude said:


> This is madness.
> 
> What's her diagnosis? Seems she went off the rails since she quit her medications (lexapro) correct?
> 
> It's heartbreaking and shocking at the same time. Like, people sometimes talk about Alzheimers and how tough it can make for couples, but this is something else, and with the courts/legal system all jumping in like vultures to exploit the situation.
> 
> Have you considered moving? Starting fresh? I know I would, where she just won't be able to reach me, whether through peers or anything.


Depression, ptsd, major depressive syndrome, a pd or two thrown in also. Every therapist/doctor she saw had a different diagnosis depending on which variation of the victim story she played. Whatever her true issue is I'll never know and she probably won't either. She's never sought actual help I don't think, just wanted a diagnosis or excuse I guess. The one constant is that I'm the monster and drove her to all these issues. 

I looked at moving when I lost my job but didnt. This was driven by 2 thoughts, I've lived here basically my whole life, this is home. She has no connection to this area and figured at some point she'd end up going back to where she came from. Back when the fiasco was in full force both lawyers and judge agreed and conjectured if I did relocate she'd most likely move to that area also. The problem would just follow....


----------



## Cynthia

honcho said:


> No accounts exist anymore from marital life except one old checking account that they would only close if she signed paperwork to get off the account so it lays inactive with 5 bucks in it. I changed everything after divorce. If she tried she could get no info but even at that investment companies /banks etc shouldn't even tell her if accounts are closed or active.
> 
> She can run a credit report, it sucks and certainly wouldn't help in her quest and only reinforce my claim that no empire exists.....


My comment was based on the following:



honcho said:


> On thing that does bother me, her lawyer in his discovery crap was asking and questioning why certain accounts were either no longer active or closed. The only person who knows that stuff is me. Why do I get the feeling she's calling around pretending to be my wife yet fishing for financial info.....


How could they know that unless she had hacked the information somehow? There is a way that they got that information. Isn't it illegal for them to have information that is confidential if it was not subpoenaed or otherwise obtained through you and/or your attorney?


----------



## Cynthia

honcho said:


> I looked at moving when I lost my job but didnt. This was driven by 2 thoughts, I've lived here basically my whole life, this is home. She has no connection to this area and figured at some point she'd end up going back to where she came from. Back when the fiasco was in full force both lawyers and judge agreed and conjectured if I did relocate she'd most likely move to that area also. The problem would just follow....


This really stinks. I cannot imagine after 5 years how she has centered all her misery on you, but I know someone who did this with her ex. Her kids thought that their dad caused all their mother's issues (because that's what she taught them to believe). One of her kids said this in front of her brother and he told them that she was always like that, long before their dad came along. That seemed to be a huge "ah ha" moment for them.

The thing about moving is that even if she followed you, you would have a whole new group of people to deal with. People who don't know her or her current legal team.

On the other hand, your attorney is also part of that whole dynamic as well, so there should be some justice somewhere for you. Can she be ordered to have a psychological evaluation?


----------



## Chuck71

CynthiaDe said:


> This really stinks. I cannot imagine after 5 years how she has centered all her misery on you, but I know someone who did this with her ex. Her kids thought that their dad caused all their mother's issues (because that's what she taught them to believe). One of her kids said this in front of her brother and he told them that she was always like that, long before their dad came along. That seemed to be a huge "ah ha" moment for them.
> 
> The thing about moving is that even if she followed you, you would have a whole new group of people to deal with. People who don't know her or her current legal team.
> 
> On the other hand, your attorney is also part of that whole dynamic as well, so there should be some justice somewhere for you. *Can she be ordered to have a psychological evaluation?*


In my state / area a PE can be ordered by the person evaluated or a doctor. A judge can but they will

not unless at doctor's request. When my mom's dementia took over, I begged one to be done. *crickets*

Even though I was in doctoral studies....but psychology, not psychiatry. Then I'm 99% sure they 

would have. Maybe Honcho can convince her to have one. God knows she likes to collect diagnosis' 

like me collecting vintage baseball cards.


----------



## RandomDude

Wonder if it's possible to sue them all back?


----------



## turnera

CynthiaDe said:


> This really stinks. I cannot imagine after 5 years how she has centered all her misery on you, but I know someone who did this with her ex. Her kids thought that their dad caused all their mother's issues (because that's what she taught them to believe). One of her kids said this in front of her brother and he told them that she was always like that, long before their dad came along. That seemed to be a huge "ah ha" moment for them.


I had the opposite problem. My mom never said a bad word about my dad, so I grew up thinking him leaving was all her fault. Didn't learn about all the BS he put her through until decades later. It sure would have changed my outlook (and choices), had I known the truth.


----------



## Cynthia

turnera said:


> I had the opposite problem. My mom never said a bad word about my dad, so I grew up thinking him leaving was all her fault. Didn't learn about all the BS he put her through until decades later. It sure would have changed my outlook (and choices), had I known the truth.


Maybe your mother thought it was all her fault. I've known people who think they drove their spouse to do whatever it is they did. I've seen it here.


----------



## turnera

Nah, he cheated because she was a nurse and wouldn't give up her job and she worked 3-11, so he didn't get the Suzy Homemaker he expected - and he thought he was all that. So he left to go score a bunch of 18 year olds, only to discover all he could get was a bunch of middle-age women with kids (who he would have me babysit while he went into the bedroom with their moms, on my weekly visits). Anyway, he tried to come home and she told him to pound sand. I mean, she was upset that he turned out to be such a jerk, but I don't think she blamed herself for that. But I didn't know this stuff til way later. I always just assumed he left her for greener pastures. Totally determined how I saw the male-female power structure, for the worse.


----------



## Cynthia

turnera said:


> Nah, he cheated because she was a nurse and wouldn't give up her job and she worked 3-11, so he didn't get the Suzy Homemaker he expected - and he thought he was all that. So he left to go score a bunch of 18 year olds, only to discover all he could get was a bunch of middle-age women with kids (who he would have me babysit while he went into the bedroom with their moms, on my weekly visits). Anyway, he tried to come home and she told him to pound sand. I mean, she was upset that he turned out to be such a jerk, but I don't think she blamed herself for that. But I didn't know this stuff til way later. I always just assumed he left her for greener pastures. Totally determined how I saw the male-female power structure, for the worse.


I'm not saying that it was her fault. That's not what I meant. I was saying that maybe she thought so, but apparently you understand now that she didn't believe that, which is good. It's too bad that this cover up had such a impact on your understanding of the world, but it's understandable that it did. Our youth shapes how we view things, that's for sure.


----------



## Kamstel

Anything new from Team Crazy?


----------



## honcho

Kamstel said:


> Anything new from Team Crazy?


Nothing new, met with lawyer to go over all the discovery nonsense team crazy wanted. My lawyer decided to flood them with paper. Had 2 options, give them year end summaries which had all the needed detail or send weekly settlements from my main supplier which are long, complicated and hard to read. So instead of 6 pages of financial data team crazy got over 5000 pages of mostly useless data they can go thru and try to figure out. That ought to run up crazy girls bill >


----------



## ConanHub

honcho said:


> Nothing new, met with lawyer to go over all the discovery nonsense team crazy wanted. My lawyer decided to flood them with paper. Had 2 options, give them year end summaries which had all the needed detail or send weekly settlements from my main supplier which are long, complicated and hard to read. So instead of 6 pages of financial data team crazy got over 5000 pages of mostly useless data they can go thru and try to figure out. That ought to run up crazy girls bill >


Hahaha!>


----------



## Kamstel

BaaaaHaaaaaHaaaaa!!!

File this under “Be Careful What You Wish For!”


----------



## Chuck71

Give delusional people delusional information. It will confuse them.


----------



## Chuck71

Any updates with Doogie the peach fuzz lawyer and Tweety Bird?


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> Any updates with Doogie the peach fuzz lawyer and Tweety Bird?


Court hearing is monday, I got a phone conference with mine tomorrow since team crazy finally broke radio silence this week. The letter they sent was nonsense rambling about how she works 3 jobs, I only work one. Idiots statement's like you only buy a business expecting to make way more money than you previously did so I must be making boatloads of cash that I'm hiding:scratchhead:

And never one to pass on the oldies but goodies team crazy is back on the I'm selling her porn videos on Internet and I'm not disclosing that cash either.......

I haven't seen the numbers but apparently working 3 jobs she still makes way less than me, whatever. This lawyer I don't think ever read our final decree that clearly states that the number to be used is the greater of current earning or imputed earnings from the job she got fired from. 

I don't care if she works three jobs, funny when "happily married" she didn't have to work at all. Am I supposed to care?


----------



## Kamstel

Stay strong!

Are you going to ask the judge for the money she never paid you?


----------



## honcho

And as expected team crazy got a delay today, now it's kicked out to December......


----------



## farsidejunky

WTF...

I guess it shouldn't surprise me. 

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk


----------



## Chuck71

honcho said:


> Court hearing is monday, I got a phone conference with mine tomorrow since team crazy finally broke radio silence this week. The letter they sent was nonsense rambling about how she works 3 jobs, I only work one. Idiots statement's like you only buy a business expecting to make way more money than you previously did so I must be making boatloads of cash that I'm hiding:scratchhead:
> 
> And never one to pass on the oldies but goodies team crazy is back on the I'm selling her porn videos on Internet and I'm not disclosing that cash either.......
> 
> I haven't seen the numbers but apparently working 3 jobs she still makes way less than me, whatever. This lawyer I don't think ever read our final decree that clearly states that the number to be used is the greater of current earning or imputed earnings from the job she got fired from.
> 
> I don't care if she works three jobs, funny when "happily married" she didn't have to work at all. Am I supposed to care?


You have been D for how many years? And the importance of your income to her.... is what?

Double check the courthouse.... make sure the D decree is there. UFbelieveable...

Imagine if you win the MegaMillions this Tuesday. Tweety would say she telepathically told you

to buy the ticket.


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> You have been D for how many years? And the importance of your income to her.... is what?
> 
> Double check the courthouse.... make sure the D decree is there. UFbelieveable...
> 
> Imagine if you win the MegaMillions this Tuesday. Tweety would say she telepathically told you
> 
> to buy the ticket.


I've never bought a lottery ticket in my life. Last night when getting fuel the guy was wanting me to buy a ticket and for a fleeting moment I thought about it. Then I figured I'd win and the first person who'd show up at my door would be crazy girl.....I didn't buy the ticket haha!

I can't even imagine the legal fights she'd try if I actually had something to chase.


----------



## GusPolinski

I don’t get how she’s still able to come after you for money years after the divorce is final.


----------



## Marc878

Have your attorney go for legal and court costs.


----------



## honcho

GusPolinski said:


> I don’t get how she’s still able to come after you for money years after the divorce is final.


At the time the divorce got finalized the judge put an open hold on alimony as I had lost my job right before the divorce was winding down. she had a set amount of time she could chase alimony which has passed however team crazy is accusing me of fraud saying I've been making "millions' since the divorce was final so some bleeding heart judge reopened it and team crazy are combing thru all my accounts for the last several years trying to prove fraud thus getting back alimony for her. 

So you make a wild claim, have no proof just an accusation and the courts can't wait to reopen and make cash for lawyers, then when they can't find any proof, they make more claims based on nonsense and the court happily delays it. Part of this latest delay is she is claiming I'm not disclosing funds from an old business I had years ago and I must be hiding that. I used to sell stuff on ebay years and years ago and had an old separate account for that. I quit selling on ebay probably 7 or 8 years before we got divorced, it was that long ago. 

So yes a business did exist at one time however it hasn't existed in years and I've got new discovery requests to provide financial records for said business that doesn't exist :scratchhead:


----------



## farsidejunky

Perhaps not, but what you could do is open up bidding for the sharkiest shark of a lawyer. 

Whoever can put her into the greatest legal entanglement over a 10-year period, and just simply pay the lawyer a million a year to do so.

It would be worth every... freaking... penny...


honcho said:


> I've never bought a lottery ticket in my life. Last night when getting fuel the guy was wanting me to buy a ticket and for a fleeting moment I thought about it. Then I figured I'd win and the first person who'd show up at my door would be crazy girl.....I didn't buy the ticket haha!
> 
> I can't even imagine the legal fights she'd try if I actually had something to chase.


Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk


----------



## farsidejunky

Isn't the burden on them to actually prove the business existed?


honcho said:


> At the time the divorce got finalized the judge put an open hold on alimony as I had lost my job right before the divorce was winding down. she had a set amount of time she could chase alimony which has passed however team crazy is accusing me of fraud saying I've been making "millions' since the divorce was final so some bleeding heart judge reopened it and team crazy are combing thru all my accounts for the last several years trying to prove fraud thus getting back alimony for her.
> 
> So you make a wild claim, have no proof just an accusation and the courts can't wait to reopen and make cash for lawyers, then when they can't find any proof, they make more claims based on nonsense and the court happily delays it. Part of this latest delay is she is claiming I'm not disclosing funds from an old business I had years ago and I must be hiding that. I used to sell stuff on ebay years and years ago and had an old separate account for that. I quit selling on ebay probably 7 or 8 years before we got divorced, it was that long ago.
> 
> So yes a business did exist at one time however it hasn't existed in years and I've got new discovery requests to provide financial records for said business that doesn't exist :scratchhead:


Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk


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## honcho

farsidejunky said:


> Perhaps not, but what you could do is open up bidding for the sharkiest shark of a lawyer.
> 
> Whoever can put her into the greatest legal entanglement over a 10-year period, and just simply pay the lawyer a million a year to do so.
> 
> It would be worth every... freaking... penny...
> 
> Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk


Only 10 years....your too kind >


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## honcho

farsidejunky said:


> Isn't the burden on them to actually prove the business existed?
> 
> Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk


No because this is civil instead of criminal. It becomes much more a case I have to prove it doesn't exist, just like with the fake r/o''s she tried and all the other delusional claims she had over the years. The courts assume she wouldn't make a non valid claim.....

I expected they would go for a delay, she needs the drama to last as long as she can so she will grasp at anything and part is my lawyer zinged her lawyer with a couple tidbits that he obviously didn't know because he never bothered to read the final decree.


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## GusPolinski

honcho said:


> No because this is civil instead of criminal. It becomes much more a case I have to prove it doesn't exist, just like with the fake r/o''s she tried and all the other delusional claims she had over the years. The courts assume she wouldn't make a non valid claim.....
> 
> I expected they would go for a delay, she needs the drama to last as long as she can so she will grasp at anything and part is my lawyer zinged her lawyer with a couple tidbits that he obviously didn't know because he never bothered to read the final decree.


Would she be able to continue pulling this **** if you moved out of state?

Because man, I think I’d have to just do it.


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## Chuck71

honcho said:


> No because this is civil instead of criminal. It becomes much more a case I have to prove it doesn't exist, just like with the fake r/o''s she tried and all the other delusional claims she had over the years. The courts assume she wouldn't make a non valid claim.....
> 
> I expected they would go for a delay, she needs the drama to last as long as she can so she will grasp at anything and part is my lawyer zinged her lawyer with a couple tidbits that he obviously didn't know because he never bothered to read the final decree.


Funny she is trying this and (didn't you say she has three jobs?) Only reason she is doing this is (of course drama)

but she is dead ass broke. I'm sure those three jobs are working six hours a week at the mall,

a home start up biz she never put more than $5.13 in, and a rave bar where she can work as Tweety

on the weekends. When pop had a tire business he would always burn the books after

seven years. Your EBay store was over ten years ago.

Tweety's got Window Cork beat by a mile. And is catching up on CGs Crazy Town


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> Funny she is trying this and (didn't you say she has three jobs?) Only reason she is doing this is (of course drama)
> 
> but she is dead ass broke. I'm sure those three jobs are working six hours a week at the mall,
> 
> a home start up biz she never put more than $5.13 in, and a rave bar where she can work as Tweety
> 
> on the weekends. When pop had a tire business he would always burn the books after
> 
> seven years. Your EBay store was over ten years ago.
> 
> Tweety's got Window Cork beat by a mile. And is catching up on CGs Crazy Town


She's driven away all her friends, she's dated and been dumped by every guy in this county, all she's got left is her world of drama.

The job statement made me laugh because other than the rave bar it pretty close to true haha


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## farsidejunky

She must either be drop dead gorgeous, or her name is Sunshine.

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk


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## Chuck71

farsidejunky said:


> She must either be drop dead gorgeous, or her name is Sunshine.
> 
> Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk


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## honcho

farsidejunky said:


> She must either be drop dead gorgeous, or her name is Sunshine.
> 
> Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk


Easy is more the name I'd select......

She always knew how to use sex to try and get what she wants. It's works for a few weeks of fun but then the crazy train gets old. She's not been shy, she goes after married, single, whatever she can find looking for a meal ticket. From what i hear the last year or two have all been bottom of the barrel candidates and even they are smart enough to run....

All I've needed was one idiot, just one to fall in love with her, I can't even get that lucky........


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## Devastated wife

@honcho - I'm so sorry to hear what you have been going through the past few years. What a nightmare to say the least! Although I am very glad to see that you are still more or less sane after being put through the mill and more, well done. I'm not sure I could survive all that craziness! 

I hope the courts throw out the case and any future cases she thinks up get rejected straight away, I honestly don't see how they think it's valid.

Best wishes; I really do hope you get lucky one day soon and you are allowed to move on with your life without drama following you around.


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## honcho

I was supposed to have court tomorrow and like clockwork team crazy sent a letter yesterday with a silly proposal which didn't even address why we are going to court to begin with. This of course comes with the now standard delay in court proceedings so now the "case of the century" is kicked out to the end of January. 

It's been radio silence between the lawyers up to this letter.


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## Chuck71

honcho said:


> I was supposed to have court tomorrow and like clockwork team crazy sent a letter yesterday with a silly proposal which didn't even address why we are going to court to begin with. This of course comes with the now standard delay in court proceedings so now the "case of the century" is kicked out to the end of January.
> 
> It's been radio silence between the lawyers up to this letter.


They're stalling because they're sure you are high up the chain in El Chappo's drug cartel.

They WILL find that $821 million you stored in five gallon drums buried in the frozen tundra......

Blows me mind they can imagine some BS and drag it out for almost a year and you take a hit

in your wallet because lawyers aren't cheap. TB is broke but always can afford a lawyer. WTF?

Best I recall she owes you a nice amount from the settlement. Seems you could table that and say

-BS over- Never in my life have I seen a circus of BS like this.....


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## Cynthia

Chuck71 said:


> Blows me mind they can imagine some BS and drag it out for almost a year and you take a hit


Seriously! Maybe you should counter sue as it's pretty obvious that she has more money than she's letting on. Maybe she's the one involved with the drug cartel. 

It should be criminal to use our courts in the manner that she is.


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## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> They're stalling because they're sure you are high up the chain in El Chappo's drug cartel.
> 
> They WILL find that $821 million you stored in five gallon drums buried in the frozen tundra......
> 
> Blows me mind they can imagine some BS and drag it out for almost a year and you take a hit
> 
> in your wallet because lawyers aren't cheap. TB is broke but always can afford a lawyer. WTF?
> 
> Best I recall she owes you a nice amount from the settlement. Seems you could table that and say
> 
> -BS over- Never in my life have I seen a circus of BS like this.....


It's no where near 800 mil, 4-4.5 mil max maybe......I've got expenses just like everyone else >

Thankfully my lawyer bill hasn't been anywhere near what the last round was. My lawyer isn't doing much by his own admission and I'm not disagreeing with the approach in the grand scheme of things. Like when they wanted all the financial record junk, OK here's a big pile of paper, have fun sorting and figuring it out. If she wants to tell grand fairy tales and run up a bill with her lawyer that's her problem. 

Her lawyer must have finally figured out she owes me money which was the reason he broke silence. Mine wanted to just go to court and announce to the judge crazy ex owes x amount to my client, the case has no merit why are we here today? Her lawyer sent some half baked stipulated proposal which would get her out of the money she owes me if I agreed which to me was a hail Mary shot on his part. My lawyer responded with a simple no.


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## honcho

CynthiaDe said:


> Seriously! Maybe you should counter sue as it's pretty obvious that she has more money than she's letting on. Maybe she's the one involved with the drug cartel.
> 
> It should be criminal to use our courts in the manner that she is.


She has money, she just wants mine.....

I've got no idea what she's got left of the inheritance she once had, her mom bailed her out in the house foreclosure mess and legal fees from the last round. She usually banks on other people like her mom bailing her out rather than spending her own money.

This isn't about money to her anyway, she's just trying to hurt me and become the center of attention again.


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## Chuck71

honcho said:


> It's no where near 800 mil, 4-4.5 mil max maybe......I've got expenses just like everyone else >
> 
> Thankfully my lawyer bill hasn't been anywhere near what the last round was. My lawyer isn't doing much by his own admission and I'm not disagreeing with the approach in the grand scheme of things. Like when they wanted all the financial record junk, OK here's a big pile of paper, have fun sorting and figuring it out. If she wants to tell grand fairy tales and run up a bill with her lawyer that's her problem.
> 
> Her lawyer must have finally figured out she owes me money which was the reason he broke silence. Mine wanted to just go to court and announce to the judge crazy ex owes x amount to my client, the case has no merit why are we here today? Her lawyer sent some half baked stipulated proposal which would get her out of the money she owes me if I agreed which to me was a hail Mary shot on his part. My lawyer responded with a simple no.


The peach-fuzzed lil punk lawyer thought this case would make a name for himself as a slayer of big bad

mean 'ol men like Honcho. 'just the name Honcho makes him sound dangerous'

He knows he got in over his head. They're way past hail Mary's, more like hail Holy Trinity.

Thankfully you have a good lawyer who works with you. Can he threaten a countersuit?

Who is funneling her the damn $? Her actions are making a mockery of the judicial system.


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## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> The peach-fuzzed lil punk lawyer thought this case would make a name for himself as a slayer of big bad
> 
> mean 'ol men like Honcho. 'just the name Honcho makes him sound dangerous'
> 
> He knows he got in over his head. They're way past hail Mary's, more like hail Holy Trinity.
> 
> Thankfully you have a good lawyer who works with you. Can he threaten a countersuit?
> 
> Who is funneling her the damn $? Her actions are making a mockery of the judicial system.


Well my namesake, honcho, was about the meanest barn cat you'd ever meet so I understand the need for protection haha! I do miss that cat, she was a great deal of fun to have around. 

The biggest advantage I've had with my lawyer is he has been in this mess since the beginning so he's heard all the crazy stories, understands how screwed up she is so when her lawyer pulls dramatics based on crazy girls vivid imagination my lawyer quickly blows it out of the water or just doesn't even waste time responding and he knew someday she'd rear her head again. When this first started up again I debated hiring a new one but really if I walked into a new lawyers office tried explaining how this mess went and all weirdness he'd never believe it and probably suggest I go for mental evaluation .

The counter suing has already been mentioned to team crazy which I'm sure is part of the reason her lawyer was quiet for the last 6 weeks. 

No true idea who's helping crazy girl with cash, I doubt her mom is again but who knows. I don't put anything past that whacky clan.


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## honcho

A couple people have pm'd asking if anything got resolved. No :frown2:

It's been delayed a couple more times, twice by blizzards here and once by her lawyer. We were supposed to have a hearing a couple weeks ago but got yet another stupid letter from team crazy, my lawyers patience had run out at that point and he filed contempt charges against her and it was to be heard at the same time this alimony nonsense case was to be heard. My lawyer fought the last delay but of course the judge granted it and it's now the end of May. 

The crazy ex is now causing issues at work, that appears to be her latest game. I managed to avoid her for the last few years, now over the last month or so she's showing up "accidentally" at several of the accounts I service in my territory. It's becoming more frequent. She does merchandising work for a company and has for several years so she has every right to be at the stores working but I find it quite odd we've never run into each other in all this time now suddenly every time I turn around there she is. We never talk of course, usually the moment I see her I turn around and leave. This last week I completely redid my route to change the times I was arriving so will see how long that lasts before she starts popping up again. 

She apparently doesn't have much work to do at these locations and has plenty of time to try and talk to everyone who works there badmouthing and telling tales of my "evil" ways. None of that bothers me and these locations all thought she was nuts to begin with and now they just makes jokes about her whacky ways. Ironically she wants and embraces the victim role yet I'm the guy getting sympathy. I can't tell you how many people have said "you poor man, how could you have ever been married to her?" 

So now that my boring Lil life has become theatre again these people are telling me all sorts of crazy girl stories in the recent weeks. She apparently will date anyone with a pulse and blown thru dozens of guys over last couple years and she's really scraped the bottom of the barrel in an attempt to find someone to pay the bills......

I even had one woman approach me in Walmart whom I'd never seen before, no idea who she was, proceed to walk up to me and tell me she was her now former best friend and proceed to rail and badmouth crazy to no end. Apparently she was trying to steal her boyfriend along with some other things. All I kept thinking is who are you and why are you telling me crap. 

They ought to have like a witness protection plan when you divorce crazy. 

In other news it appears my brothers marriage is over. They've been married 20 years or so. That marriage has bad it's own brand of dysfunction over the years so it's not shocking. No paperwork has been filed but she moved out several months ago to a different city, she filed her taxes as married separate. They don't fight, she has never asked for anything and my brother hasn't been bothered one bit by her not being around and seems relieved she's not. It's just run its course and they've each started to live separate lives.


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## Chuck71

Sounds like Sunshine '99 ain't no queen in 2019. Obviously Tweety is going to stalk you in any way

she can. I don't even think she wants you back....but she is somehow addicted to you.

We all know she wants every penny you have ever made and then some. She's had what, one guy

who moved her in? And moved her out fast. Throwing herself at any guy......

Tossing 100 magnets at the fridge and praying one sticks. Hopefully she will snag a guy

who worships tree frogs and drags her sorry ass up to the Yukon Territories and you never hear from her again.


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## Cynthia

Are there stalking laws in your state? It sounds like you have witnesses. Just because she has a job that allows her to be at those stores doesn't mean that she's not stalking you.


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## 3Xnocharm

CynthiaDe said:


> Are there stalking laws in your state? It sounds like you have witnesses. Just because she has a job that allows her to be at those stores doesn't mean that she's not stalking you.




I had this thought too. You may need to get some kind of legal order against her to keep her away from you. Sad and pathetic. And crazy. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> Sounds like Sunshine '99 ain't no queen in 2019. Obviously Tweety is going to stalk you in any way
> 
> she can. I don't even think she wants you back....but she is somehow addicted to you.
> 
> We all know she wants every penny you have ever made and then some. She's had what, one guy
> 
> who moved her in? And moved her out fast. Throwing herself at any guy......
> 
> Tossing 100 magnets at the fridge and praying one sticks. Hopefully she will snag a guy
> 
> who worships tree frogs and drags her sorry ass up to the Yukon Territories and you never hear from her again.


I am the center of her known universe it seems. While "happily married" this was kind of an issue, she had no life outside of me and it felt suffocating at times. When the divorce was going on and I was looking at jobs outside of the state both lawyers and the judge figured wherever I move she'd show up. For all her wanting freedom and away from the monster she sure doesn't want me out of her drama. 

Yeah one clown moved her in and we all knew that had an expiration date before she got the first suitcase in the door, my buddies had a pool going on how many days it would take for him to toss her. I'm still the only one stupid enough to have kept her. :banghead:


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## Cynthia

You feel stupid now, but hindsight is much clearer than foresight. It's likely she was hiding her true self from you. She is obsessive and has some weird obsession over you. It seems like a mental health issue, not just a character issue. In other words, she really does seem to be certifiable.


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## ReturntoZero

honcho said:


> I am the center of her known universe it seems. While "happily married" this was kind of an issue, she had no life outside of me and it felt suffocating at times. When the divorce was going on and I was looking at jobs outside of the state both lawyers and the judge figured wherever I move she'd show up. For all her wanting freedom and away from the monster she sure doesn't want me out of her drama.
> 
> Yeah one clown moved her in and we all knew that had an expiration date before she got the first suitcase in the door, my buddies had a pool going on how many days it would take for him to toss her. I'm still the only one stupid enough to have kept her. :banghead:


Have you forgiven yourself?

Serious question.


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## Cynthia

You're blaming yourself way too much. She's the crazy one, remember that.


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## Chuck71

honcho said:


> I am the center of her known universe it seems. While "happily married" this was kind of an issue, she had no life outside of me and it felt suffocating at times. When the divorce was going on and I was looking at jobs outside of the state both lawyers and the judge figured wherever I move she'd show up. For all her wanting freedom and away from the monster she sure doesn't want me out of her drama.
> 
> Yeah one clown moved her in and we all knew that had an expiration date before she got the first suitcase in the door, my buddies had a pool going on how many days it would take for him to toss her. I'm still the only one stupid enough to have kept her. :banghead:


Gotsta keep in mind she was a different person then. Just as in Star Wars II and III, not even Yoda

could sense the Sith Lord's presence. When he knew, it was too late. Sound familiar?

Remember the good years..... in a positive way. It's hard to walk right then when the crazy shows.

Seven years great....one year crazy.....still worth trying to salvage..... by the time you

realized the crazy was not stopping, few more years had passed. No one wants D.....

But when it reaches a point....no other option. I can relate and..... WC always tried to appear too.

Her last one was about six months ago......she's due. Doesn't bother me.....she is blocked, will 

not answer anything from her brother about her or he can be blocked too.

You're like me Honcho...... you're way beyond done. You absolutely would have to be

"reminded to give a f*ck." And even then......you wouldn't.

Forgiving ourselves.... came many years ago.....


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## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> Gotsta keep in mind she was a different person then. Just as in Star Wars II and III, not even Yoda
> 
> could sense the Sith Lord's presence. When he knew, it was too late. Sound familiar?
> 
> Remember the good years..... in a positive way. It's hard to walk right then when the crazy shows.
> 
> Seven years great....one year crazy.....still worth trying to salvage..... by the time you
> 
> realized the crazy was not stopping, few more years had passed. No one wants D.....
> 
> But when it reaches a point....no other option. I can relate and..... WC always tried to appear too.
> 
> Her last one was about six months ago......she's due. Doesn't bother me.....she is blocked, will
> 
> not answer anything from her brother about her or he can be blocked too.
> 
> You're like me Honcho...... you're way beyond done. You absolutely would have to be
> 
> "reminded to give a f*ck." And even then......you wouldn't.
> 
> Forgiving ourselves.... came many years ago.....


 @ReturntoZero I think chuck summed it up well with yes and many years ago. 

Way beyond done is an understatement. I'll never understand why she isnt. 

Rearranging my delivery times worked for last week. Last Friday she was asking the stores if I had been thru already and then spinning a story that I'm the one purposely changing times so I would run into her yada yada yada which I expected. The store employees all got a good laugh at her spin and I've been hearing endless jokes the last 2 days...,,


----------



## ReturntoZero

honcho said:


> @ReturntoZero I think chuck summed it up well with yes and many years ago.
> 
> Way beyond done is an understatement. I'll never understand why she isnt.
> 
> Rearranging my delivery times worked for last week. Last Friday she was asking the stores if I had been thru already and then spinning a story that I'm the one purposely changing times so I would run into her yada yada yada which I expected. The store employees all got a good laugh at her spin and I've been hearing endless jokes the last 2 days...,,


When you can laugh about things, you know they're truly over.

It's simply not funny when you're still in the moment.


----------



## Chuck71

ReturntoZero said:


> When you can laugh about things, you know they're truly over.
> 
> It's simply not funny when you're still in the moment.


Exactly.............. when WC was going to try to fit through that garage window....I laughed so 

Fing hard. And I knew then.....I was going to make it.


----------



## honcho

ReturntoZero said:


> When you can laugh about things, you know they're truly over.
> 
> It's simply not funny when you're still in the moment.





Chuck71 said:


> Exactly.............. when WC was going to try to fit through that garage window....I laughed so
> 
> Fing hard. And I knew then.....I was going to make it.


I got a warped sense of humor so I could laugh and find it humorous pretty early in the mess. When someone is telling you they hate your guts because you weren't the father of twins even though said person couldn't have kids or one of my favorites when she was trying to have me arrested for stabbing her favorite teddy bear in the heart you learn pretty quick to laugh and find the humor. It's either that or a straight jacket.....


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## Chuck71

honcho said:


> I got a warped sense of humor so I could laugh and find it humorous pretty early in the mess. When someone is telling you they hate your guts because you weren't the father of twins even though said person couldn't have kids or *one of my favorites when she was trying to have me arrested for stabbing her favorite teddy bear in the hear*t you learn pretty quick to laugh and find the humor. It's either that or a straight jacket.....


:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

I have tears in my eyes..... you made my day. I was told I was hiding money from her. All I had 

was the passwords and sign-in names on MY computer....because I was the one 

juggling minimum payments on her 11 credit cards. I made sure she was paying for them with her $. 

About five weeks after DDay, she had 6 NSF charges on purchases under $5 each. 

This was before she paid one single CC payment. But I had her log in info and that's 

why they weren't paid *cantmakethisschitup*

But anytime she thought she had $7.43 available credit, she'd be calling every damn one of them.

I would go into how she got the Window Cork name but.....I think you already know.


----------



## just got it 55

honcho said:


> A couple people have pm'd asking if anything got resolved. No :frown2:
> 
> It's been delayed a couple more times, twice by blizzards here and once by her lawyer. We were supposed to have a hearing a couple weeks ago but got yet another stupid letter from team crazy, my lawyers patience had run out at that point and he filed contempt charges against her and it was to be heard at the same time this alimony nonsense case was to be heard. My lawyer fought the last delay but of course the judge granted it and it's now the end of May.
> 
> The crazy ex is now causing issues at work, that appears to be her latest game. I managed to avoid her for the last few years, now over the last month or so she's showing up "accidentally" at several of the accounts I service in my territory. It's becoming more frequent. She does merchandising work for a company and has for several years so she has every right to be at the stores working but I find it quite odd we've never run into each other in all this time now suddenly every time I turn around there she is. We never talk of course, usually the moment I see her I turn around and leave. This last week I completely redid my route to change the times I was arriving so will see how long that lasts before she starts popping up again.
> 
> She apparently doesn't have much work to do at these locations and has plenty of time to try and talk to everyone who works there badmouthing and telling tales of my "evil" ways. None of that bothers me and these locations all thought she was nuts to begin with and now they just makes jokes about her whacky ways. Ironically she wants and embraces the victim role yet I'm the guy getting sympathy. I can't tell you how many people have said "you poor man, how could you have ever been married to her?"
> 
> So now that my boring Lil life has become theatre again these people are telling me all sorts of crazy girl stories in the recent weeks. She apparently will date anyone with a pulse and blown thru dozens of guys over last couple years and she's really scraped the bottom of the barrel in an attempt to find someone to pay the bills......
> 
> I even had one woman approach me in Walmart whom I'd never seen before, no idea who she was, proceed to walk up to me and tell me she was her now former best friend and proceed to rail and badmouth crazy to no end. Apparently she was trying to steal her boyfriend along with some other things. All I kept thinking is who are you and why are you telling me crap.
> 
> They ought to have like a witness protection plan when you divorce crazy.
> 
> In other news it appears my brothers marriage is over. They've been married 20 years or so. That marriage has bad it's own brand of dysfunction over the years so it's not shocking. No paperwork has been filed but she moved out several months ago to a different city, she filed her taxes as married separate. They don't fight, she has never asked for anything and my brother hasn't been bothered one bit by her not being around and seems relieved she's not. It's just run its course and they've each started to live separate lives.


 @honcho Very often a M will just die a natural death

55


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## honcho

Well today we finally had a hearing. It was as strange as most of these hearings. Near as I can figure her lawyer gave her all the financial information and she figured everything out for him so you can imagine nothing made sense. She figured my income at over 3x what it was and then spent a half hour telling the judge she worked in retail her whole life and knows how to read the documents. The whole thing was just babble. Team crazy focused on my gross profit in my business and wanted to deny all my expenses cause it's "not fair" I can write a phone off for my business and she cant, stupid things like that. 

The sad part is this judge seemed to be buying it. He mentioned more than once how it's easy for self employed to hide things. I'm just shaking my head at this trying to keep my mouth shut. In my business I have one supplier and that supplier buys all my receivables, take out for the product purchased and I receive the net, this isn't complicated. Simply put the money I receive is my gross profit and the year end statement from the supplier shows net paid to me which ties back to my bank statements yet nut job says I made 3x that amount. Then her lawyer starts in about all the "secret" bank accounts I may have and who knows where I'm hiding all this cash and and what kind of a deal I may have with my vendor to keep it hidden yadayadayada. 

No shock my ex has hit hard times according to her yet you look at the last 3 years of tax returns 2 years she made more than me yet all the we kept hearin about is how her hours are cut, she is broke, the septic needs to be replaced, water softener is bad which was on her list 3 years ago when we got divorced, she even brought up the roof again. Heard all about how she can't make her car payment, she cried it was all very touching......

After an hour and half of this silliness then the judge says it gonna be a great deal of work to go thru all this financial info and starts telling me I should have worked harder to find a better paying career essentially making me the bad guy while a luney tune freakshow is rambling about how I've ruined her life.....fun day in court!

This judge refused to listen to any discussion about the money she owes me because that would "complicate" the situation in his words, he made no decision on anything today which didn't surprise me the way these clowns work. He even started talking about making ruling which would completely contradict the original decree and in essence make this whole cluster start from ground zero again. 

I will never be out of the divorce system the way it works.


----------



## Cynthia

@honcho, Wow. Just wow. I'm sorry things are going like this. What did your attorney do to defend you?


----------



## honcho

CynthiaDe said:


> @honcho, Wow. Just wow. I'm sorry things are going like this. What did your attorney do to defend you?


My attorney did what he could but this judge didn't seem to want to hear it. He pointed out that most of team crazy argument was all based on inuedo, make believe and not facts. The facts are in tax returns, 1009''s and bank records. This is what a judge is supposed to base is ruling on. Not a crazy person adding 2+2=10 and then saying it's hidden in a secret account.


----------



## Cynthia

That's what injustice looks like. I know you don't want to move away, but....


----------



## 3Xnocharm

Wow did you get a fugged up judge! What the hell?? Most judges would have ripped her crazy ass a new one for this ridiculousness and wasting their time. So sorry you are still dealing with this. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Chuck71

I have......no F'ing words. Sad though...this does not surprise me after reading the crazy crap the

courts have put you through in the past. What is your lawyer telling you? It's about time to start a blog

about all the BS....every hearing, re-schedule, outcome, etc. This mess....I wouldn't believe it if 

I hadn't followed your thread since '15. Maybe the blog can expose this travesty. Worth a shot......

nothing else seems to work in that crazy ass F'ed up court system in your town.


----------



## honcho

3Xnocharm said:


> Wow did you get a fugged up judge! What the hell?? Most judges would have ripped her crazy ass a new one for this ridiculousness and wasting their time. So sorry you are still dealing with this.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk





Chuck71 said:


> I have......no F'ing words. Sad though...this does not surprise me after reading the crazy crap the
> 
> courts have put you through in the past. What is your lawyer telling you? It's about time to start a blog
> 
> about all the BS....every hearing, re-schedule, outcome, etc. This mess....I wouldn't believe it if
> 
> I hadn't followed your thread since '15. Maybe the blog can expose this travesty. Worth a shot......
> 
> nothing else seems to work in that crazy ass F'ed up court system in your town.


Yesterday morning was actually my first opportunity right before court to see her tax returns. Silly me breathed a sigh of relief seeing how much she made the last 3 years thinking this is all a waste of time and the judge will clearly see that and just put this to bed. Instead I got treated to hidden accounts, fantasy income numbers and tales of woah. That part is expected with crazy, having judge wapner play along I didnt. 

The day before my lawyer was already mentioning appeal so he must have gotten some info on this judge or more precisely court commissioner. Then this mess would get kick back to the original judge.....that instilled a boatload of confidence :frown2: 

I can't for the life of me wrap my head around the fact team crazy can submit pure fantasy work with no basis fact as "evidence", submit paperwork which contradicts the poor me routine testimony, lies in court, gets called out for the lies yet I got a clown telling me I should've worked harder to make more money..didn't I get fired from that job long ago? This whole thing still has me wound up, I didn't sleep at all last night replaying this circus thru my head. Yes I'm venting and whiny.........


----------



## FeministInPink

You deserve to vent. All of this is absurd.

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk


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## ConanHub

honcho said:


> Yesterday morning was actually my first opportunity right before court to see her tax returns. Silly me breathed a sigh of relief seeing how much she made the last 3 years thinking this is all a waste of time and the judge will clearly see that and just put this to bed. Instead I got treated to hidden accounts, fantasy income numbers and tales of woah. That part is expected with crazy, having judge wapner play along I didnt.
> 
> The day before my lawyer was already mentioning appeal so he must have gotten some info on this judge or more precisely court commissioner. Then this mess would get kick back to the original judge.....that instilled a boatload of confidence :frown2:
> 
> I can't for the life of me wrap my head around the fact team crazy can submit pure fantasy work with no basis fact as "evidence", submit paperwork which contradicts the poor me routine testimony, lies in court, gets called out for the lies yet I got a clown telling me I should've worked harder to make more money..didn't I get fired from that job long ago? This whole thing still has me wound up, I didn't sleep at all last night replaying this circus thru my head. Yes I'm venting and whiny.........


Hire on with an oil company and work in Africa.

Have your money wired to a different account.

Disappear.

Your in crazy biatch town. Leave and let them eat each other.


----------



## Cynthia

I am sorry to say that you really should consider leaving for a least a few years. Disappear. Sometimes the only way to get away from crazy is to leave crazy town.


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## Marc878

Did the judge make a ruling against you? Or are you still waiting?


----------



## honcho

Marc878 said:


> Did the judge make a ruling against you? Or are you still waiting?


Team crazy wanted a ruling right away, my lawyer argued that we weren't even done with testimony yet let alone going to a ruling. Judge wapner instructed both lawyers to have written closing argument's and supporting documents to his office in 2 weeks and he would make a ruling 2 weeks after. Judge essentially let team crazy lay out the grand conspiracy storyline, when it came to rebut he stopped it pretty quick as we were close to noon and these clowns can't work during the lunch hour apparently. 

To me this joker had his mind made up before we even started and the court theater was the dog n pony show. The judges final words were "someone's gonna get gored by the horns pretty bad here." I somehow don't think he was referencing her.


----------



## Cynthia

honcho said:


> Team crazy wanted a ruling right away, my lawyer argued that we weren't even done with testimony yet let alone going to a ruling. Judge wapner instructed both lawyers to have written closing argument's and supporting documents to his office in 2 weeks and he would make a ruling 2 weeks after. Judge essentially let team crazy lay out the grand conspiracy storyline, when it came to rebut he stopped it pretty quick as we were close to noon and these clowns can't work during the lunch hour apparently.
> 
> To me this joker had his mind made up before we even started and the court theater was the dog n pony show. The judges final words were "someone's gonna get gored by the horns pretty bad here." I somehow don't think he was referencing her.


I recommend you hire an accountant to prepare documents that support your position, and that you include those documents in with the paperwork for a ruling. Have you asked your attorney about the possibility of a counter-suit since she makes more than you?

The judge commented that you were fired years ago. Are you making less than you did then, more, or about the same?


----------



## Marc878

Better prepare for an appeal.

Sorry you got this clown.


----------



## honcho

CynthiaDe said:


> I recommend you hire an accountant to prepare documents that support your position, and that you include those documents in with the paperwork for a ruling. Have you asked your attorney about the possibility of a counter-suit since she makes more than you?
> 
> The judge commented that you were fired years ago. Are you making less than you did then, more, or about the same?


I told them we could hire an independent auditor to review it, won't bother me, and after court did make a similar suggestion to lawyer. 

I had already prepared all the supporting documents from sales to cost of sales to gross profit to the monies going into my bank account and it's all backed up by the year end corporate reports, 1099''s etc from my supplier and all ties back to my tax return. This is a small company with no employees and anyone with half a brain could figure how much I made in 10 minutes and a calculator. I set the bar to high thinking 2 lawyers and a judge had half a brain......

Yet somehow all the focus ended up on a year end summary report from corporate that crazy girl scribbled a bunch of numbers on which don't make any sense and somehow shows my "gross profit" is 3x the amount I was paid by said corporate. Even on the bottom of the page it clearly says x amount paid to operator and I have a 1099 to match that number thus we have the conspiracy theory that I must have corporate diverting funds to a secret account cause it doesn't match her nonsense number. 

So in order to even try to pull this off, I'd need to convince the largest bakery company in the country and world for that matter to play along, I'd need to convince my biggest accounts, Walmart and kroger to pay me cash on the side, not register those sales thru the cash registers cause they pay bills based on a scan pay system so simply they only pay for what crosses the registers and each week I get week summary which shows me how much of what sold each day and that's how they pay my supplier based off those sales and end of each quarter a full reconciliation and audit is done to make sure it's accurate. See how big the "conspiracy" to screw a crazy woman is? I'm good but not that good >

I make quite a bit less now than I did at my old career. I had a unique situation and made good money and I'll never find that situation again. Officially I was the controller of a Harley dealership but I did much more than that. I did fly all over the country and interviewed at many dealerships but either I wasn't a good fit or the money was so low it wasn't worth it. Interviewed at many import/boat dealers too they could never come close to matching the money I was making.

After several months of being unemployed cash was running low, had the opportunity to buy a business so I did. It wasn't going to make me rich but it paid the bills. For a good year after I bought biz I still had headhunters calling me talking about various positions but the money was never there. The world of Harley is much different now than the glory days. It really toasted my buns when this guy is giving me a speech I should have worked harder to find a better paying job having no idea what he's even talking about. 

Part of this whole hearing foolishness was to discuss her possibly owing me for said years she made more but that somehow seemed to get lost in the whole circus.


----------



## Chuck71

Wish there was an old trick I could recommend to stop this damn insanity. Can't make this stuff up

if you tried. Landing a good job was not that hard at one time. From my understanding.... minus the early 80s

recession, from post-WW2 until the dotcom bubble burst....finding "a" job was easy. Finding a good one

took a bit of time but you could. Since then.... 67% of the "higher middle income to middle income"

jobs have vanished. And theys ain't coming back. The 60k employees are now making 40k. If they haven't lost

their family home, they're very lucky. Double the hit for M couples. Hard to sell a house for what you

owe when you still have $40k floating towards the bank. Today you fill out applications on-line,

by the 100s, get interviewed on....maybe 4-7. Being out of work is depressing by default. It is greatly

magnified by the dozens of applications you fill out and never hear a thing back. Yes...many people apply 

for jobs they are over-qualified for. But if you are needing some type of income to keep a roof over 

your family's head and food on the table.....whatchas gonna do? When these jobs don't call you

for interview....that's where the depression will vice grip you. It's a hellish feeling....you begin to question

your self worth to your family, etc. But I get what Honcho is saying. The few remaining higher end paying 

upper-middle jobs.....they run you through seven interviews, ask if you ever cheated on a spelling test

in 7th grade, ask your neighbors if you're a "good neighbor," run credit reports (even if you're unemployed, 

which pretty much guarantees recent bad credit hits), and ask your college sweetheart if you were always faithful.

Sooooo.... they give you the pay but ask triple the job load it once carried before the recession.

This is why many are working jobs with lower wages or same wages / longer hours..... to stay away

from the jobs mentioned above. There is zero job security. Course add that to the fact we live in an 

"instant gratification" society and no one should be shocked by the fact most Americans are less than a month

away from being homeless but our economy is thriving. Pardon my soapbox Honcho.

But I'm about to share some laughs with you on my thread..... guess who made an "appearance?"

One guess.... LOL


----------



## honcho

That would be your lovely ex I'm guessing ? It's been a while since she did a fly by. 

Don't mind the soapbox it's true. More than one time I was a "finalist" during the endless interview phase and every single time I'd hear "we see you have a r/o case pending what's up with that". Those fake r/o''s she pulled cost me more than one offer. Had one place that was a huge dealership, the computer/accouting system was a complete disaster and needed a ground up rebuild, ownership knew it and yet they we only willing to pay scraps for a wage. Told them they would never get anyone qualified for what they were willing to pay and 3 years later I know they have run 6 people thru that job. 

Import dealers have no margin and survive on mostly factory rebates and turn and burn units. Looking at other industries now I'm just a guy with a 2 year degree competing against a pool of 4 year degree fresh out of college. Ive also gotten to the point in my life where I'm tired on making other people money. If I gotta kill myself to make a living I'd rather do it for me, not someone else.


----------



## Jus260

Chuck71 said:


> When is the last time she has made sense?
> 
> *The Chicago Cubs will win the World Series before your D is final.*
> 
> She will try to garnish attention by stirring the pot. Anything to resurface things.
> 
> Have you offered her a free vacation if she will just move the D along ASAP?
> 
> I feel for you, I honestly do.



Honcho wasn't technically married, but considering the current state of this divorce, I can make an argument that this this post in 2015 actually came true when the Cubs won in 2016. If I went before a judge in Wisconsin, I would definitely win my case.


----------



## Jus260

I never saw an @Uptown post anwhere in this thread. It seems like this would be in his wheelhouse.

After reading this entire thread, I get the feeling this is a product of being in Wisconsin. From what I've heard, people from Wisconsin are really really nice people. If you go to a Badgers or Packers game as an opposing fan, they will make sure you know your team is going to lose, but they will also offer you food from their tailgate. Its not like going to Penn St. where you might get hit with a bag of urine or at Michigan St or Ohio St where the guy behind you would slit your throat, then everyone around you would pretend they didn't see it.

I am probably way off base but from what I've heard about how nice people in Wisconsin can be, it doesn't surprise me that a bunch of people took pity on an absolute freak show of a human being. Even Honcho has taken this extremely well, considering all that has happened to him.


----------



## Uptown

> I never saw an @*Uptown* post anywhere in this thread. It seems like this would be in his wheelhouse.


@*Jus260*, thanks so much for the call-out. I appreciate your thinking of me. Actually, I've been following Honcho's thread since he started it 6 years ago. I haven't joined the discussion because, as you likely know, I usually try to help folks who may be dealing with a partner suffering from bipolar or a personality disorder. 

In this case, I believe Honcho nailed it when coming out of the gate 6 years ago. He observed that, because his relationship had been great for 17 years (15 of marriage), his wife's sudden abusive behavior and decision to divorce likely was due to perimenopause (which is common when hormones change in the late 40's).

Most occurrences of strong BPD traits you see in other people are NOT caused by _lifetime_ BPD. Instead, they are only temporary flareups of the normal BPD traits we all have. These flareups usually are caused by drug abuse or, even more often, by a hormone change -- e.g., puberty, pregnancy, postpartum, PMS, or perimenopause (or any other life event starting with the letter "P," LOL). 

With perimenopause, the "temporary" BPD flareup may last many years. Hormone changes can have a strong impact on a person's moods and personality.


----------



## honcho

Today was like a trip down memory lane. She has apparently spent the last couple of days telling every place I deliver at all sorts of wild stories. I got more than ear full today. She's even bringing out the oldiies but goodies about forcing her to star in porn videos, the bondage slave silliness, the whole nine yards. As one person put it, I've never heard a more graphic, vile and disgusting story than what said. My crazy ex always had a mouth that would make a drunken sailor blush so I can imagine how this went. 

I was a tad disappointed that I was only having affairs with 6 women this time. Usually the number is higher.

The real fun of her silliness is at least 2 of the locations are going to lodge formal complaints with the company she works for so odds are she will get canned since she's already on thin ice. One store wanted to wait till they talked to me cause they know we have the court drama going. What was I supposed to say? Told them to do whatever they want. 

These people have all heard variations of her poor me story before but never to this extent or venom. She certainly caused stir...


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## Marc878

Sounds like you have witnesses. Maybe it's time you used them. Anything recorded you could use in court?


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## turnera

I was just thinking that. Ask everyone (with a form in hand) to sign an affidavit for you.


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## Cynthia

If they are filing a complaint, they will be writing a report and their signatures will be on it. This is evidence. You could ask them to be clear about her inappropriate behavior and language and that it was specifically about you. That will become evidence that you can use, then sue her for slander and legal harassment. I would think that you can turn this around on her. If you take that route, you will be out of family court and into a different system with different judges. That may be the only way to stop her crazy train from crashing into the field of your life.


----------



## honcho

CynthiaDe said:


> If they are filing a complaint, they will be writing a report and their signatures will be on it. This is evidence. You could ask them to be clear about her inappropriate behavior and language and that it was specifically about you. That will become evidence that you can use, then sue her for slander and legal harassment. I would think that you can turn this around on her. If you take that route, you will be out of family court and into a different system with different judges. That may be the only way to stop her crazy train from crashing into the field of your life.


I called my lawyer but given its a Friday and the first day that was over 70 degree here of course he was out of the office. Fortunately or unfortunately while it may be a different system in small town America here you get the same judges for everything from divorce to murder.


----------



## Cynthia

honcho said:


> I called my lawyer but given its a Friday and the first day that was over 70 degree here of course he was out of the office. Fortunately or unfortunately while it may be a different system in small town America here you get the same judges for everything from divorce to murder.


Oh my goodness. Tell me again why you don't want to move away from this paradise.


----------



## Chuck71

honcho said:


> Today was like a trip down memory lane. She has apparently spent the last couple of days telling every place I deliver at all sorts of wild stories. I got more than ear full today. She's even bringing out the oldiies but goodies about forcing her to star in porn videos, the bondage slave silliness, the whole nine yards. As one person put it, I've never heard a more graphic, vile and disgusting story than what said. My crazy ex always had a mouth that would make a drunken sailor blush so I can imagine how this went.
> 
> I was a tad disappointed that I was only having affairs with 6 women this time. Usually the number is higher.
> 
> The real fun of her silliness is at least 2 of the locations are going to lodge formal complaints with the company she works for so odds are she will get canned since she's already on thin ice. One store wanted to wait till they talked to me cause they know we have the court drama going. What was I supposed to say? Told them to do whatever they want.
> 
> These people have all heard variations of her poor me story before but never to this extent or venom. She certainly caused stir...


:rofl::rofl::rofl: Here we go with the porn royalties! She did forget about the fish tank!

Posters are correct in gathering written docu about what Tweety Bird said. Also get a copy of the

two formal complaints. Anyone else who can supply you with written docu, go to them.

You will turn around and sue her for slander, defamation of character, and libel. 

Also file charges of stalking and have an order of protection placed against her.

I don't know what level of the judicial branch you need to go to but I would start climbing the chain

of command. Your lawyer should be able to help you in this. And....when you lodge a formal complaint

about the judge to the state bar....send them a video. The video I told you to make recently and 

a few years ago. Once this goes viral......beyond the small town po-dunks that run the 

place, they will be forced to get up off their lazy asses and do something.

This is your golden opportunity......


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> :rofl::rofl::rofl: Here we go with the porn royalties! She did forget about the fish tank!
> 
> Posters are correct in gathering written docu about what Tweety Bird said. Also get a copy of the
> 
> two formal complaints. Anyone else who can supply you with written docu, go to them.
> 
> You will turn around and sue her for slander, defamation of character, and libel.
> 
> Also file charges of stalking and have an order of protection placed against her.
> 
> I don't know what level of the judicial branch you need to go to but I would start climbing the chain
> 
> of command. Your lawyer should be able to help you in this. And....when you lodge a formal complaint
> 
> about the judge to the state bar....send them a video. The video I told you to make recently and
> 
> a few years ago. Once this goes viral......beyond the small town po-dunks that run the
> 
> place, they will be forced to get up off their lazy asses and do something.
> 
> This is your golden opportunity......


The fish tank was brought up by her lawyer in court....we can't forget the fish tank! I don't even know where it is anymore. I left it at the shop when I cleaned out my office. 

Neither company will willingly give me a copy of the formal complaints they made. Both are large corporate entities and nobody sticks neck out without the corporate gods approvals.


----------



## Cynthia

That's too bad. 

I wonder if you could wait until she's been fired and have those document subpoena.


----------



## Chuck71

honcho said:


> The fish tank was brought up by her lawyer in court....we can't forget the fish tank! I don't even know where it is anymore. I left it at the shop when I cleaned out my office.
> 
> Neither company will willingly give me a copy of the formal complaints they made. Both are large corporate entities and nobody sticks neck out without the corporate gods approvals.


I believe your lawyer could, as long as he can justify it has bearing on your case.

It can be sealed and only the judge visualize it. Worth a shot! I know this can be done in TN,

dunno about WI.


----------



## honcho

The dimwit commissioner made his ruling yesterday and it's beyond comprehension how bad it is. 

Not only has he completely disregarded anything in our original decree he decided to use my last w-2 from over 5 years ago and used hers also when she was working 15 hours a week after she was fired. So despite the fact I have made nowhere near what I was making for the last 5 years in wages and she makes much more than than she did that's "fair".

I have zero ability to pay what he ordered. In his ruling if you can call this bad joke that he decided that it wasn't fair her old employer fired her before she was found either innocent or guilty in court. It wasn't fair she got fired for shoplifting and it wasn't fair the main account she serviced barred her with a no trespass order because they didn't wait till a court proved her guilty.......

It's also not fair that I "chose" to buy this business and make less money knowing my poor lovely ex would struggle and I should have worked harder to find a better paying job so he is penalizing me and imputing a salary as if I was still working that job despite the reality. From my rough calculations once I pay the nut job she will make 4 times the income I make. I can't even live on what he is allowing me to keep and I can't even cover my rent let alone food. 

He also in his infinite wisdom put no time limit on this and wrote the order up it ends when either of us die or she gets remarried. Because this wasn't good enough the joker added extra alimony amount until I pay back what I should have been paying her for the last several years had I found a proper paying job. 

This truly is the nightmare that never ends. The appeal has already been filed. I'm so happy I live in a fair and impartial no fault state. Nothing she does is bad and the court excuses her behavior left and right. She gets caught in lies,they make excuses, she wants more they tell me to work harder.


----------



## farsidejunky

If you can't afford it for real, you have nothing to lose through appeal.

Take It outside of that joke of a system you have in your county.

Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk


----------



## honcho

farsidejunky said:


> If you can't afford it for real, you have nothing to lose through appeal.
> 
> Take It outside of that joke of a system you have in your county.
> 
> Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk


I CAN'T afford it for real. The appeal is filed, now it gets kicked to the original judge in my divorce. You can't ever seem to this out of county. Now I just have to figure out who I'll rob to pay the lawyer.....


----------



## Chuck71

honcho said:


> I CAN'T afford it for real. The appeal is filed, now it gets kicked to the original judge in my divorce. You can't ever seem to this out of county. Now I just have to figure out who I'll rob to pay the lawyer.....


This is like a play that keeps ending with a tragedy but continues to reply over and over.

Grab your pens / pencils / keyboards and detail out every single step of this travesty. Start at the local level,

IF anyone is competent. If nothing...go district. If nothing....go state. There HAS to be someone

out there who can see this dog n pony show for what it is. Frankly...your lawyer should have 

already started this. Something in the background has to be going on.... someone getting paid, laid, or

extorted. I'd also notify the state bar. If you aren't sure where to turn / start.... visit the nearest

university and talk with a law professor. They can show you the path.


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> This is like a play that keeps ending with a tragedy but continues to reply over and over.
> 
> Grab your pens / pencils / keyboards and detail out every single step of this travesty. Start at the local level,
> 
> IF anyone is competent. If nothing...go district. If nothing....go state. There HAS to be someone
> 
> out there who can see this dog n pony show for what it is. Frankly...your lawyer should have
> 
> already started this. Something in the background has to be going on.... someone getting paid, laid, or
> 
> extorted. I'd also notify the state bar. If you aren't sure where to turn / start.... visit the nearest
> 
> university and talk with a law professor. They can show you the path.


Yeah someone's getting paid...the lawyers...they laugh all the way to the bank. These judges/commissioners aren't the cream of the crop by any stretch and this one was obvious in his willingness to buy the damsel in distress. These clowns have no repurcussions for bad decisions so why put any effort into the job. Lawyers will protect lawyers at the end of the day. The buddy network rules in these small town court systems.

I'm "battle fatigued" and just tired of it all.


----------



## turnera

Once it's all said and done, can you report them to the Bar Association?


----------



## Blondilocks

Are visitors permitted in the courtroom? 

If so, it would behoove you to invite a reporter (even a kid writing for a high school paper) to accompany you and record the proceedings. When in print, these judges will have their incompetence exposed and may help to bring this ****-show to an end.

You would also be doing the public a service if you would say which county has such incompetent judges and commissioners.


----------



## Cynthia

Is the judge even following the law? Can you report him? Can you complain to your legislators?

Is he sleeping with your ex? I'm serious. Something crazy is up and I wouldn't put that past her. Or is she blackmailing him? You might consider investigating the judge to find out what is going on.

And I'd again recommend you consider leaving the area.


----------



## Chuck71

CynthiaDe said:


> Is the judge even following the law? Can you report him? Can you complain to your legislators?
> 
> Is he sleeping with your ex? I'm serious. Something crazy is up and I wouldn't put that past her. Or is she blackmailing him? You might consider investigating the judge to find out what is going on.
> 
> And I'd again recommend you consider leaving the area.


That's why I too think something is going on in the background. I live in SE TN.... there are a lot of

very small populated counties to the north, west and east. You hear all kinds of shady things going on.

Alot of things are kept "in house" and hush hush. There are some counties you really do not

want to get pulled over in. I seriously doubt they would let cameras into the courtroom but...

worth a shot. If they don't, that's very telling. It will take outside help to expose this carnival.


----------



## Cynthia

Chuck71 said:


> It will take outside help to expose this carnival.


I agree and I hate to say this, but your attorney is likely part of the whole network. My sister used to live in small town Louisiana and the whole legal network was ridiculous. She couldn't trust any of them. I recommend you start looking into what you can do about this by going to your state legislators and seeking help.


----------



## honcho

CynthiaDe said:


> I agree and I hate to say this, but your attorney is likely part of the whole network. My sister used to live in small town Louisiana and the whole legal network was ridiculous. She couldn't trust any of them. I recommend you start looking into what you can do about this by going to your state legislators and seeking help.


My lawyer is not from this county, I purposely hired him in the beginning because he wasn't part of the buddy network that exists here. Her old lawyer was the big dog in this county and every lawyer in this area bowed and kissed his feet. Even when she pulled the first r/o nonsense every lawyer locally told me to not even try and fight it, she'd win, don't rock the boat etc etc. My lawyer was willing to fight for me, he's not Perry mason and while he will ruffle some feathers he's not going to stick his neck out too far, I know this. Frankly the top flight lawyers in the counties around here wouldn't even take a case in this county. Take away all the drama and this should have been a simple divorce.


----------



## honcho

Completely unrelated to divorce but I'm driving home after work today and we are having lines of big storms blowing thru here and the wind is screaming . I clear the wood's and can see my house on top of the hill and I can't help but notice large wood panels flying thru the air, big 6 foot sections. These turn out to what was my enclosed fence area for the dog. The one section flew a good 80 acres and somehow didn't smash into toothpicks. 

Now that power is restored I'm watching the big pine tree I had that got yanked out by the roots burn in the power line. I've got fire dept guys all over the yard watching this cause they can't do anything because it's a live wire. 

This is becoming obvious I never should have gotten out of bed today.....


----------



## Cynthia

honcho said:


> Completely unrelated to divorce but I'm driving home after work today and we are having lines of big storms blowing thru here and the wind is screaming . I clear the wood's and can see my house on top of the hill and I can't help but notice large wood panels flying thru the air, big 6 foot sections. These turn out to what was my enclosed fence area for the dog. The one section flew a good 80 acres and somehow didn't smash into toothpicks.
> 
> Now that power is restored I'm watching the big pine tree I had that got yanked out by the roots burn in the power line. I've got fire dept guys all over the yard watching this cause they can't do anything because it's a live wire.
> 
> This is becoming obvious I never should have gotten out of bed today.....


Run while you still have the chance.


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## FeministInPink

honcho said:


> Completely unrelated to divorce but I'm driving home after work today and we are having lines of big storms blowing thru here and the wind is screaming . I clear the wood's and can see my house on top of the hill and I can't help but notice large wood panels flying thru the air, big 6 foot sections. These turn out to what was my enclosed fence area for the dog. The one section flew a good 80 acres and somehow didn't smash into toothpicks.
> 
> 
> 
> Now that power is restored I'm watching the big pine tree I had that got yanked out by the roots burn in the power line. I've got fire dept guys all over the yard watching this cause they can't do anything because it's a live wire.
> 
> 
> 
> This is becoming obvious I never should have gotten out of bed today.....


Yikes! Be safe.

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk


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## Chuck71

honcho said:


> My lawyer is not from this county, I purposely hired him in the beginning because he wasn't part of the buddy network that exists here. Her old lawyer was the big dog in this county and every lawyer in this area bowed and kissed his feet. Even when she pulled the first r/o nonsense every lawyer locally told me to not even try and fight it, she'd win, don't rock the boat etc etc. My lawyer was willing to fight for me, he's not Perry mason and while he will ruffle some feathers he's not going to stick his neck out too far, I know this. Frankly the top flight lawyers in the counties around here wouldn't even take a case in this county. Take away all the drama and this should have been a simple divorce.


Sounds like you're going to need an up and coming attorney who has a hard-on for the system and

therefore, hasn't anything to lose. Quite the tall order. How many appeals do you have left after 

the one you just spoke of? Tweety Bird was less troublesome when you weren't D yet.

Any way you can file a motion in another county? Maybe buy a cheap piece of land there?

Your attorney has obviously taken you as far as he can. Could you try legal aid? They base it off of

your "true" income. If that doesn't work.... move. Sign over whatever you have to your parents or

siblings and get out. From what you have told us about your business, you can do that almost

anywhere.


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## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> Sounds like you're going to need an up and coming attorney who has a hard-on for the system and
> 
> therefore, hasn't anything to lose. Quite the tall order. How many appeals do you have left after
> 
> the one you just spoke of? Tweety Bird was less troublesome when you weren't D yet.
> 
> Any way you can file a motion in another county? Maybe buy a cheap piece of land there?
> 
> Your attorney has obviously taken you as far as he can. Could you try legal aid? They base it off of
> 
> your "true" income. If that doesn't work.... move. Sign over whatever you have to your parents or
> 
> siblings and get out. From what you have told us about your business, you can do that almost
> 
> anywhere.


I have several appeal options after this,so does she, after all divorce never ends....

It all comes down to money and how much you can spend. 

I've got nothing left, I've got one lone asset left and even that I'll be putting for sale shortly to pay for the appeal. Other than that I've got a car with 190k miles and a truck with 210k on it. Quite an empire, everything else has gone to lawyers and paying off debt I took in the desperate attempt to get divorce over with first round. 

My business makes enough to survive and get out of the hole created by divorce. On paper I got killed the first round of this divorce, I got all the debt except mortgage, walked away from all the equity in house which we had a boatload. I got a Harley and the dogs. A big part of the reason I gave up chasing what she owed me is I had nothing left to pay for chasing her. The bleeding had to stop. 

My biz I can and can't do anywhere. It's asset is I own the exclusive distribution rights for a territory. Only way to move is sell mine and buy someone else out. Last territory I sold it took 9 months. The guy one county south of me has had his for sale for 3 years, guy north of me sold in a day. But as long as she lives here, I'm gonna be stuck in this county for legal crap. I know several people who have moved away, filed to change or amend divorce and it always gets kicked back to county where it began. 

If I lose the appeal the last and only plan left near as I can figure is to just dissappear and live in the Yukon somewhere and live off the land.


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## Cynthia

At this point, living in the county you are in is a liability. If you can't see your business, then go do something else. Cut your loses and go.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is to run. I can imagine it would be hard to leave, but living there is like living in a pit that keeps getting deeper.


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## Curse of Millhaven

Honcho, I've been silently following your saga (or more appropriately "Greek tragedy"?) and I don’t even know what to say. This is all so ****ty there needs to be a new word created to describe the craptacular ****show of this steaming pile of feces. 

I’m so sorry for what you’ve gone through and continue to go through. It just sucks. 

For what it’s worth, I’m pulling for you and hoping you weather the storms (actual and figurative) in your life.

Continued strength to you.


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## Blondilocks

Surely, you can find some idiot you can pay to marry her for say one year. It might be cheaper than paying a lawyer to screw you over. The minute she marries, get the hell out of Dodge. Like clear across the country and don't tell a soul. 

Where's the witness protection program when you need them.


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## just got it 55

honcho said:


> The dimwit commissioner made his ruling yesterday and it's beyond comprehension how bad it is.
> 
> Not only has he completely disregarded anything in our original decree he decided to use my last w-2 from over 5 years ago and used hers also when she was working 15 hours a week after she was fired. So despite the fact I have made nowhere near what I was making for the last 5 years in wages and she makes much more than than she did that's "fair".
> 
> I have zero ability to pay what he ordered. In his ruling if you can call this bad joke that he decided that it wasn't fair her old employer fired her before she was found either innocent or guilty in court. It wasn't fair she got fired for shoplifting and it wasn't fair the main account she serviced barred her with a no trespass order because they didn't wait till a court proved her guilty.......
> 
> It's also not fair that I "chose" to buy this business and make less money knowing my poor lovely ex would struggle and I should have worked harder to find a better paying job so he is penalizing me and imputing a salary as if I was still working that job despite the reality. From my rough calculations once I pay the nut job she will make 4 times the income I make. I can't even live on what he is allowing me to keep and I can't even cover my rent let alone food.
> 
> He also in his infinite wisdom put no time limit on this and wrote the order up it ends when either of us die or she gets remarried. Because this wasn't good enough the joker added extra alimony amount until I pay back what I should have been paying her for the last several years had I found a proper paying job.
> 
> This truly is the nightmare that never ends. The appeal has already been filed. I'm so happy I live in a fair and impartial no fault state. Nothing she does is bad and the court excuses her behavior left and right. She gets caught in lies,they make excuses, she wants more they tell me to work harder.


I am Speechless

Sorry H

55


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## jlg07

Can't you get a state review board involved in this? Clearly this is prejudicial and nonsense -- I think you should talk with your state attorney general about this malfeasance.


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## Chuck71

Honcho............. how is my brother?


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