# Ending my marriage



## Ricks

After almost 20 years of marriage I'm starting my divorce. I have felt her love loss for many years and it just needs to end...


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## Sfort

Ricks said:


> After almost 20 years of marriage I'm starting my divorce. I have felt her love loss for many years and it just needs to end...


Sorry you're dealing with that. There has to be a lot more to the story. How old are you? First marriages? Any infidelities? Any suspicions of infidelity? How's your sex life? (You don't have to answer all of these questions. They're thought provokers.)

A lot of people on this forum will be able to help you. Be prepared for the soft and the hard.


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## Ricks

First marriage and No one cheated but I was getting ready to... She has not wanted sex for many years and it causes a lot of static in the relationship. Maybe her changes are the cause but I still need it.


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## Sfort

Are you thinking you might want to try to save your marriage, or are you committed to moving on? There are experienced people who can help you with either one, if you are interested.


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## Ricks

I need out! I've tried way too many times to make it work and she clearly doesn't care anymore. She kept saying that she'll change but never does.


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## Torninhalf

If the sex was good would you stay?


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## Ricks

I'm on the internet a lot and find a bunch of woman sending me friend requests on fb and instagram. I have accepted a few just to talk to and I'm sure it's a scam. But it makes me feel good having these women talk to me. Makes me feel wanted. Anyone else get these???


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## Ricks

Torninhalf said:


> If the sex was good would you stay?


No... She's not the same woman.


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## Mr.Married

Don’t fall for the sudden inrush of sex when you drop divorce papers on her.

Yeah... don’t fall far it.
Anyways... can you at least own any part of your marriage failure? There are two sides to every story


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## Torninhalf

Ricks said:


> No... She's not the same woman.


Well, when you are done you are done. Is she aware of what is happening?


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## Sfort

Ricks said:


> I'm on the internet a lot and find a bunch of woman sending me friend requests on fb and instagram. I have accepted a few just to talk to and I'm sure it's a scam. But it makes me feel good having these women talk to me. Makes me feel wanted. Anyone else get these???


Yes, we all get those. You need to up your game. You're correct. They're scams (or prostitutes). There is help here. 

By the way, if you have any concern for anonymity, you might want to change your profile picture. Vape much?


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## Mr.Married

Ricks said:


> I'm on the internet a lot and find a bunch of woman sending me friend requests on fb and instagram. I have accepted a few just to talk to and I'm sure it's a scam. But it makes me feel good having these women talk to me. Makes me feel wanted. Anyone else get these???


Don’t do that.... her name is Jim and your about to give him your credit card


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## Ricks

Mr.Married said:


> Don’t fall for the sudden inrush of sex when you drop divorce papers on her.
> 
> Yeah... don’t fall far it.
> Anyways... can you at least own any part of your marriage failure? There are two sides to every story


I will admit that since I've convinced myself of needing to end the marriage, I have not been nice to her. She notices this and blames me.


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## Mr.Married

Ricks said:


> I will admit that since I've convinced myself of needing to end the marriage, I have not been nice to her. She notices this and blames me.


No I mean previous to this.


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## Ricks

Sfort said:


> Yes, we all get those. You need to up your game. You're correct. They're scams (or prostitutes). There is help here.
> 
> By the way, if you have any concern for anonymity, you might want to change your profile picture. Vape much?


LMAO... I quit my 30 year smoking habit by vaping. I make my own liquids too. It's pretty much harmless and I enjoy it.


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## SunCMars

I see you are looking for help.
You will find it.

Fishing here is good, depending on the present climate.

It varies by who is active, and who is hiding in the wings.

Huh, what?

_The Typist-_


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## Ricks

Mr.Married said:


> No I mean previous to this.


No. I really feel that she has just lost all feelings that she once had for me. There's no touching, no holding hands, hugging etc. It just all stopped.


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## Sfort

So it sounds like you're not interested in things you can do that might save the marriage. Your objective is the divorce. Correct? If so, do you have any questions? Are you looking for suggestions?


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## Ricks

Sfort said:


> So it sounds like you're not interested in things you can do that might save the marriage. Your objective is the divorce. Correct? If so, do you have any questions? Are you looking for suggestions?


Yes, Divorce is the only thing for me. I have given it many years and it's only getting worse. Need to find a good Lawyer now.


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## Trident

Ricks said:


> I'm on the internet a lot and find a bunch of woman sending me friend requests on fb and instagram. I have accepted a few just to talk to and I'm sure it's a scam. But it makes me feel good having these women talk to me. Makes me feel wanted. Anyone else get these???


I recently changed my FB status to single since there have been some relationship problems. Got a friend request from a real hottie as per the profile picture which also showed a generous amount of cleavage. The profile showed no friends, posts, or personal information. Sound familiar? I sart getting and exchanging lots of FB messages with her. She was so sweet, and caring, sending me hot pictures including of her in a tight gym outfit. I was lonely, bored and figured I'd see how long it would take for this scammer to start asking me for money or something.

I'd wake up to a good morning text and go to sleep with a good night text from her. 2 weeks in she said it was her birthday and asked me to buy "her" a new iphone and of course those wireless ear buds. I said sure, and I'd like to send you jewelry too, does she prefer gold, silver, and does she like diamonds. "Of course I love diamonds honey! Here's my address"...

Yes they're all scammers and they're not the pretty women that are texting you, they might not even be women at all. They prey on the lonely desperate guys who don't show a relationship status on social media.


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## Ricks

Trident said:


> I recently changed my FB status to single since there have been some relationship problems. Got a friend request from a real hottie as per the profile picture which also showed a generous amount of cleavage. The profile showed no friends, posts, or personal information. Sound familiar? I sart getting and exchanging lots of FB messages with her. She was so sweet, and caring, sending me hot pictures including of her in a tight gym outfit. I was lonely, bored and figured I'd see how long it would take for this scammer to start asking me for money or something.
> 
> I'd wake up to a good morning text and go to sleep with a good night text from her. 2 weeks in she said it was her birthday and asked me to buy "her" a new iphone and of course those wireless ear buds. I said sure, and I'd like to send you jewelry too, does she prefer gold, silver, and does she like diamonds. "Of course I love diamonds honey! Here's my address"...
> 
> Yes they're all scammers and they're not the pretty women that are texting you, they might not even be women at all. They prey on the lonely desperate guys who don't show a relationship status on social media.


Here's a pic of one of mine..


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## Ricks

And another...


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## Diana7

Ricks said:


> I'm on the internet a lot and find a bunch of woman sending me friend requests on fb and instagram. I have accepted a few just to talk to and I'm sure it's a scam. But it makes me feel good having these women talk to me. Makes me feel wanted. Anyone else get these???
> [/QUOTE





Ricks said:


> Here's a pic of one of mine..
> 
> 
> Come on now, you know this isn't genuine.


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## Sfort

Diana7 said:


> Come on now, you know this isn't genuine.


He's playing with us.


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## Luckylucky

Well, I think I understand why she’s not interested in you.

She’s probably seen and knows what you’re up to online.


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## Ricks

Diana7 said:


> Come on now, you know this isn't genuine.


These are just 2 of the several women that sent me friend requests recently. I'm sure they are doing this to try and make money or something and I have NO intensions of giving any of them anything.. I'm just playing along for now because it amuses me as I'm going thru this divorce. Trust me that I'm not going to be fooled and do anything stupid with any of these women. It is kind is fun tho. 

Anyone know of any GOOD dating websites that are real??


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## Ricks

Luckylucky said:


> Well, I think I understand why she’s not interested in you.
> 
> She’s probably seen and knows what you’re up to online.


I think you don't know what you're talking about...


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## jlg07

Ricks said:


> And another..
> 
> I'm pretty sure this one is a porn star...


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## pastasauce79

Ricks said:


> Anyone know of any GOOD dating websites that are real??


Jeez, at least let the ink dry before you go and find the next Mrs. Ricks.


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## Bibi1031

Too funny. I'm a female and I get friend requests of young hot men too. They are after our money. Lovers of others money are not racist, sexually exclusive, or even strictly hetrosexual. They just love to scam any fool that believes 20-35 years olds are interested in folks 20 or more years older than them. 

Hell, when I was young, I would not even think about dating men over ten years older than me. Neither did any of my friends or cousins either. @Ricks, Did you like women much older than you? Did you like them over 10 years younger? I bet not! We had nothing in common with these immature kids then. We sure as hell don't have much in common when the age roles are reversed. Total EWWW!

I don't pay attention to these crap heads. What a waste of our precious time. Hit the not accept and move on.


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## Ricks

jlg07 said:


> I'm pretty sure this one is a porn star...


How can we find out???


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## Ricks

pastasauce79 said:


> Jeez, at least let the ink dry before you go and find the next Mrs. Ricks.


Why wait... I ain't getting any younger.


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## Ricks

Bibi1031 said:


> Too funny. I'm a female and I get friend requests of young hot men too. They are after our money. Lovers of others money are not racist, sexually exclusive, or even strictly hetrosexual. They just love to scam any fool that believes 20-35 years olds are interested in folks 20 or more years older than them.
> 
> Hell, when I was young, I would not even think about dating men over ten years older than me. Neither did any of my friends or cousins either. @Ricks, Did you like women much older than you? Did you like them over 10 years younger? I bet not! We had nothing in common with these immature kids then. We sure as hell don't have much in common when the age roles are reversed. Total EWWW!
> 
> I don't pay attention to these crap heads. What a waste of our precious time. Hit the not accept and move on.


When I was 18, I was dating 30 to 40 years olds. I wish I can't remember the name of that night club. Good times!!! They were probably married too. I was young and dumb but I had fun.


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## Diana7

Ricks said:


> Why wait... I ain't getting any younger.


At least end the marriage first. I bet your wife doesn't even know yet.


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## Bibi1031

Ricks said:


> When I was 18, I was dating 30 to 40 years olds. I wish I can't remember the name of that night club. Good times!!! They were probably married too. I was young and dumb but I had fun.


Well, no wonder you enjoy talking and getting the attention of much younger women. The roles are now reversed. They are dumb and young and just want to have fun. Scammers know this. Midlife folks gravitate back to the days when they were young.

It is all an illusion. Focus on you! Focus on what you really need for your future. You are no spring chicken. Those days are long gone. If you are done with the marriage, then end it and find your fulfillment. Don't relive a youth that will never come back. 

Be wise!


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## Trident

Ricks said:


> These are just 2 of the several women that sent me friend requests recently. I'm sure they are doing this to try and make money or something and I have NO intensions of giving any of them anything.. I'm just playing along for now because it amuses me as I'm going thru this divorce.


I get it, that's what I did with the FB scammer with the nice rack a few weeks ago. It's entertaining playing along and scamming the scammer by wasting their time.

I said stuff like "Now I have your address I'll come visit next week" just to get a reaction out of them.

The profile is now gone from FB I guess they got caught.


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## Ricks

Diana7 said:


> At least end the marriage first. I bet your wife doesn't even know yet.


She knows...


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## Bibi1031

Ricks said:


> She knows...


Great. Now make it legal and get it over with amicably. Then welcome your new future. Hopefully you will stay away from scammers (AKA much younger women) that will only make you waste precious time. hook up with real women that you can see live and in color in a public place. Don't fall for sexting and texting crap. Nothing beats real live interaction between two people seeking the time and attention of another. Get to really know women and which ones you are compatible with and which ones you are simply not one bit interested in pursuing anything with. Don't waste your precious time. You have a future of happiness in the horizon. Don't waste a minute of it!


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## DownByTheRiver

Ricks said:


> I'm on the internet a lot and find a bunch of woman sending me friend requests on fb and instagram. I have accepted a few just to talk to and I'm sure it's a scam. But it makes me feel good having these women talk to me. Makes me feel wanted. Anyone else get these???


I get those, and I'm a 68 year old straight woman.


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## Ricks

I have to get this divorce going... How does it work? I know I need an Attorney but how will this work? Can anyone give me the details on how it works? I don't know too much about this. Any help will be greatly appreciated. I NEED help!


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## Lostinthought61

since she knows you want a divorce, have you already discussed how you will divide assets and properties? the cheapest way if everyone is in agreement is to file yourself and work with a mediator for the division of property, if kids are under 18 then you will have to agree to custody...you can go on line in your state and file for divorce, you could google mediators that you both agree with. if she contest or finds that you are cheating then it gets ugly real fast and costly.

Getting married only takes some paper work and a Elvis impersonator who is an ordained minster getting divorce takes a hold lot of paper work and $$.


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## Ricks

Lostinthought61 said:


> since she knows you want a divorce, have you already discussed how you will divide assets and properties? the cheapest way if everyone is in agreement is to file yourself and work with a mediator for the division of property, if kids are under 18 then you will have to agree to custody...you can go on line in your state and file for divorce, you could google mediators that you both agree with. if she contest or finds that you are cheating then it gets ugly real fast and costly.
> 
> Getting married only takes some paper work and a Elvis impersonator who is an ordained minster getting divorce takes a hold lot of paper work and $$.


I need to find out about the lawsuit I had. My personal injury lawsuit happened and started before we got married. What happens with all the money and assets from that lawsuit? She is NOT being fair so far. She's trying to take it all. I'm permanently disabled from the accident and will need special care that she was tending to.

This is why I need a good attorney


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## jlg07

Ricks said:


> I need to find out about the lawsuit I had. My personal injury lawsuit happened and started before we got married. What happens with all the money and assets from that lawsuit? She is NOT being fair so far. She's trying to take it all. I'm permanently disabled from the accident and will need special care that she was tending to.
> 
> This is why I need a good attorney


Yeah -- agreed -- get a good attorney. Folks here can tell you THEIR experiences, but can't tell you about YOURs in YOUR state.


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## Ricks

Found an experienced Lawyer with 39 years doing divorce. She's telling me that my house and cars that are in my name are mine! They were all paid for with my law suit money. The deed to the house is in my name and the cars are titled in my name only. One of our cars has both our names and I plan to let her have it. 

This is going to be an interesting divorce... My wife is now recording all of our arguments and fights. She had her phone sitting on the arm of the couch the other day and I saw the light was on. She was using the video recording us. I told her I do not consent to being recorded and told her to speak to her Lawyer about this because it's illegal and not admissible in court. She still thinks that she will take the house. If she tries getting dirty in this divorce, I will seek alimony because she makes more money than my Social Security Disability. 

I asked for her Lawyers name and she refused to tell me. One day I used the car that she used to see her Lawyer and found her Lawyers address in the cup holder. Took a pic of it and left it there. 2 days later she and I were in the car with one of my kids and I noticed her grab it and stuff it in her pocket. LOL... When I told my Lawyer who hers was she smiled and laughed saying she knows him well...


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## Trident

Ricks said:


> When I told my Lawyer who hers was she smiled and laughed saying she knows him well...


They all know each other. When they're not working they're all out drinking together and laughing about how much money they're bilking out of their clients.


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## Diana7

Ricks said:


> Found an experienced Lawyer with 39 years doing divorce. She's telling me that my house and cars that are in my name are mine! They were all paid for with my law suit money. The deed to the house is in my name and the cars are titled in my name only. One of our cars has both our names and I plan to let her have it.
> 
> This is going to be an interesting divorce... My wife is now recording all of our arguments and fights. She had her phone sitting on the arm of the couch the other day and I saw the light was on. She was using the video recording us. I told her I do not consent to being recorded and told her to speak to her Lawyer about this because it's illegal and not admissible in court. She still thinks that she will take the house. If she tries getting dirty in this divorce, I will seek alimony because she makes more money than my Social Security Disability.
> 
> I asked for her Lawyers name and she refused to tell me. One day I used the car that she used to see her Lawyer and found her Lawyers address in the cup holder. Took a pic of it and left it there. 2 days later she and I were in the car with one of my kids and I noticed her grab it and stuff it in her pocket. LOL... When I told my Lawyer who hers was she smiled and laughed saying she knows him well...


Surely she would have to have told you if you are getting divorced? Who would your lawyer have sent the paperwork to?
Can she afford a place for her and the children to live if she has no share in your home?


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## Ricks

Diana7 said:


> Surely she would have to have told you if you are getting divorced? Who would your lawyer have sent the paperwork to?
> Can she afford a place for her and the children to live if she has no share in your home?


Her mother is loaded and most likely paying for her lawyer... She'll be fine.


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## Ricks

Ricks said:


> When I was 18, I was dating 30 to 40 years olds. I wish I can't remember the name of that night club. Good times!!! They were probably married too. I was young and dumb but I had fun.


Cheshire Cat was the name of the Night Club... Fun times!


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## Ricks

Sorry, I forgot all about this site... It's taking too long! How long does it take to get divorced? My Lawyer told me my wife's Lawyer is ignoring her. Is this normal?


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## chazmataz33

So how did the divorce go?


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## In Absentia

chazmataz33 said:


> So how did the divorce go?


it's still going...


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## chazmataz33

Wow sounds like the Lawyers got a boat payment due.lol


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## Ricks

I asked my future ex why her lawyer was ignoring mine and she won't tell me.


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## Ricks

As this divorce is happening and we're paying our own separate bills I'm finally seeing my credit card bills getting lower... She was practically paying minimum on mine and paying higher on hers.


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## Ricks

She got a new Lawyer... Maybe things will start moving.


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## Ricks

Here in PA, there's a one year separation period. It's now past that and things are starting to move... I hope. I met a woman online and she's great! I think I am the luckiest man in here. She was married once and never had any kids...


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