# Not Sure What To Do??



## crazyanimal (Oct 10, 2009)

My fiance and I have been living together for three and a half years. 

When we first met, sex was all about him. He'd get on, get off and was done. At the time, I was shy and didn't say anything and then finally one day expressed to him that I didnt think it was fair for him to only be satisfied and told him how I felt "like a two bit bimbo". We worked harder at be being satisifed and him not ejaculating too soon.

When we moved in together, sex wasn't bad... we tried different things, different positions but then life got busy and I got tired and we didn't have sex as often. He constantly bugged me for it and I sometimes gave in to keep him quiet. Then I started feeling resentment and wouldn't just lay there for his satisfaction. 

Then I tried to be open minded and get myself in the frame of mind to enjoy sex with him but he wasn't completely hard and I was again being left unsatisfied. If we have a hard time in the bedroom, and I am having a harder time getting off, he always makes sure he's done regardless. I found out his "lack of hard erection" was because he was masturbating. 

We made a deal that if I would have sex more often, he'd wait and not masturbate. I agreed and kept my end of the bargain but found out he was still masturbating. I don't mind the masturbating... but when it affects our sex life and my satisfaction, I am starting to resent it.

It happened again today, he was very soft... so soft that it wouldn't stay in but hard enough for him to have an orgasm. He knew I wasn't satisfied but while playing with him he got off. Why couldn't he feel some compassion and say "let's try later" or make continued efforts to see me satisfied?? Since we've been together... there has NOT been one time he's left the bedroom unsatisfied... but I've lost count for me.

I know he watches porn and anything female he can get a hold of online and that bothers me. He'll even watch after we've had sex and he is satisfied. With him watching it, masturbating and having the inability to satisfy me makes me not want to have sex at all. So now our time in between is getting longer and longer. 

Even after we were done today, I was frusterated and mad. He walked around the house whistling and acting like nothing was wrong. He won't talk to me about it, he won't even apologize and offer to try later. But he lies and says he doesn't masturbate. If he isn't masturbating, then what is my next thought??? He's having an affair. He is a very healthy man with a very high sex drive... there is no need for him to be soft if he has not masturbated.

I've also tried to encourage him to have more foreplay. The minute he touches me, his hands go right between my legs. Today, I feel like a piece of crap and feel I am only here to satisfy his needs... never my own. 

Any help??


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## crazyanimal (Oct 10, 2009)

Anyone?? Have anything to say??


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## crazyanimal (Oct 10, 2009)

Thanks for the input. 

Sometimes it is hard when we start and then as things progress, it goes soft. He or myself have to start playing with it to get it anywhere near hard again. The situation presents itself that if the "hand" isn't on it, it won't stay hard. I am fearful that he's masturbating so much that, that is the only way for him to get pleasure and he doesn't seem to enjoy anything but the hand.

Yes, we can get me off first before he is allowed to put it in but what about me?? Almost all the cases, when I do orgasm, is always before penetration... now orgasm is good but I am getting bored... why can't I have an orgasm with a penis for a change?? 

I have told him plain out that I get more enjoyment from a hard penis. There are positions I enjoy that I can't do if it isn't hard and I've told him that too. He knows why I wait so long in between sex times, one it is harder and another is quality over quantity. If we do it too often, it is again soft no good for me.

I was so mad yesterday that I was tempted to get it going, make him work at getting me off and then get dressed and leave the room. Show him what it feels like to be left by your partner.


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## crazyanimal (Oct 10, 2009)

Thanks I'll try those things and see what happens. I feel it is a two part thought too. If I get sexy and dress up and look good, then he should do the same for me. He always wants me to try different types of clothes cause I am a "jeans" kind of girl but he will never change what he wears to turn me on.

I never thought about leaving the relationship for sex... well yes, I've thought about it but to do it... well probably not. I do not believe in infidelity. But I have thought about purchasing toys... he doesn't like toys and he would get very upset if I used a vibrator... I told him it is no different then how I feel when you watch porn.

I still am a bit resentful from last night, so I will let that pass before I take any other steps. I want to get over the anger I feel so I am not bringing it into the next session we "try" to have.

The other issues is that I just found out that I have Fibromyalgia. Some days I suffer tremendously in pain and instead of being compassionate, he says "guess no sex for me".


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

ive been battling the sex issue with my H for years. at first it was his porn problem, then my resentment and self-esteem issues, now im not really sure what the problem is. I really never thought sex was so complicated. 

i completely empathize with your frustrations. i have days that im in such a bad mood. and ive been having these bad days for so long that its actually almost comical. my H will ask me, "what's the matter?", and i'll just say, "what is _always_ the matter." 

My H is a lot like yours- get in, get done, get off. in the four years we've been together we've only had sex on the bed, in one position. talk about pulling your hair out. and for awhile he couldnt keep it hard. right now we have sex maybe once a week and im not very interested anymore. 

when this all started, three years ago, i would try and talk about it. then i found the porn and i would yell and scream about it. then i mellowed out and and i'd try and talk about it again. I recommend books, id look up things for us to do online, i came on here, and i went to counseling. what did my H do? played video games. he always asks me, "well, what should we do about it?" nice, dude. 

currently i dont care anymore. its actually almost comical and a little ridiculous. im completely done trying to get him to be interested. i cant control him and trying to just puts myself in a situation that im 'making' my H be interested in me. well, who the h3ll wants that kind of attention anyway? so, to uncomplicate matters, i take care of myself the best i can- which includes working on not resenting him for who he is or holding him responsible for the frustrations that im choosing to experience by staying. 

and things have gotten better. not great, but better. im not as interested in sex, he's a little more interested, so maybe there's some middle ground there.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Very painful to read this. As a man this is just one of those posts that makes me wince. 

He should not be doing ANY of this. Total disgrace. 

This is not the person to marry. Incredibly selfish. 





crazyanimal said:


> My fiance and I have been living together for three and a half years.
> 
> When we first met, sex was all about him. He'd get on, get off and was done. At the time, I was shy and didn't say anything and then finally one day expressed to him that I didnt think it was fair for him to only be satisfied and told him how I felt "like a two bit bimbo". We worked harder at be being satisifed and him not ejaculating too soon.
> 
> ...


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## crazyanimal (Oct 10, 2009)

You know it sometimes is very infuriating?? Why is it the women who always have to work so hard?? Men are simple right?? Don't take that the wrong way guys but in all honesty, you see a naked body and your turned on... women need more then that but then yet we are still the ones fighting for a good time with sex.

I have to dress up and be sexy because for some reason, after we moved in together... I am not sexy enough anymore. I have to give blowjobs or handjobs when I am not feeling well but in the same sentence, beg, plead and bend over backwards to have an orgasm.

No wonder women are so exhausted, moody and plain out don't give out very often. After regular day stuff is over, we still have to fight or struggle another 7 days a week to have some decent sex.

Really though men, why so hard for women?? And women.. isn't it discouraging??

I am not saying men don't do anything but in most cases.. I'm saying most... women cook, clean and work along with paying bills, taking care of children, and now added to our responsibilities is spicing up ourselves in order to make our men hornier. When we are not into it, we have to fake it or pretend to be into it and just please our man regardless if we want satisfaction or not. Then to top it all off, we have to worry that if we stop at any point in time our partner is going to sway from us ... after all is said and done, we still have to end up satisfying ourselves... which all in all, should be the man's job. 

Most men.. now remember I said MOST men, work all day, come home and sit on the couch and watch tv while supper is served to them, their clothes are clean, their children are cared for, and then their woman dresses up in sexy clothing and appears sexy so he can have a harder erection and be turned on more and get off quicker.

What fairness is there in this??

A woman works so hard to be important and satisfied that by the time the man is ready, she's too tired to follow through.


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## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

I was thinking the same thing reading Atholk's advice. Your guy has a problem with masturbation and porn and somehow this is your problem? The guy masturbates to the point where he can't stay hard with a real woman, and it is up to you to be more sexy for HIM? Puh.

When is HE going to do what he's supposed to do and stop jerking off? Why does she have to manipulate him into anything? 

Put your foot down. Tell him if he can't do the right thing and have himself in the proper physical shape to make love to his very real wife, then he can forget it. He's the one who is all messed up, not you. It isn't the lack of sex that's making him do what he's doing. It is his desire to gratify himself from the get-go. He's never cared about pleasing you. And then he turns to porn to continue his selfishness. And now he couldnt' please you if he wanted to (not that he's shown any real desire to, anyway). 

I think suggesting to a woman that she try harder to get the attention of a guy like this is criminal. This guy already makes her feel unwanted and unloved and she should try harder? Puh. Where's his responsibility in all of this? He's the one who should feel like dirt, not her. He's the one who should be trying harder, not her. 

There are a lot of men out there with real problems in terms of performance through no fault of their own. I have no sympathy for someone who has created their own problem and who does nothing to help themself.


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## DownButNotOut (Apr 9, 2009)

Stepping around the men/women argument...

Crazy...what you have to ask yourself is "Is the current situation a deal-breaker?"

Because after living with your fiance for 3 1/2 years, it is highly unlikely that things will change for the better post-marriage. Almost impossible if he doesn't take ownership of his part of the problem. From your posts, he isn't willing to / or doesn't see the need to / change.

So figure out if you're willing to call it quits over your sex life. Then you are able to either say "We fix this or else", or "I'm here, I'd like if this changed".

After that, I'd recommend a few things.

Mars/Venus type sex books. (Mars/Venus in the Bedroom is a good one).

Couples sex couseling.

And...

Get him checked out by the doc! There could very well be something wrong with him preventing full erections. He could be avoiding that embarrassing truth...hiding a medical condition, not an affair.

I've never heard of frequent masturbation causing an inability to get erections. I know that has never happened to me. In fact, in the past, I've masturbated multiple times per day and never lost the ability to get an erection for actual intercourse. Instead I would be..um...tender...hard, but over-sensitive.

So get him checked by the doc. Also see if stress, or pressure to perform, is affecting him. A lot of guys start to feel pressure about their performance...until they can't perform. It sounds like you have let him know that you aren't being satisfied. The thing is, if he starts to feel stressed about satisfying you, his erection will almost certainly be lost.


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## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

Masturbation and porn can create a situation where a guy can't get excited by a real woman. The real life stimuation a woman provides just simply cannot match the level of input of porn.

But I agree about not marrying him.


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## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

This guy is a disgrace, period, end of discussion.

I think Athhok's advice was ONLY if she wants to stay with this moron. 

My advice is get out of the relationship.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

100 percent agree. This guy has a real live partner who truly loves him and simply wishes to be loved back. His porn addiction is destroying their relationship and like most sexual non-performers he is blaming his partner. 

The risk in this situation is that even if he changes temporarily to avoid getting dumped, he will revert after marriage. 









dobo said:


> Masturbation and porn can create a situation where a guy can't get excited by a real woman. The real life stimuation a woman provides just simply cannot match the level of input of porn.
> 
> But I agree about not marrying him.


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## martino (May 12, 2008)

Well i'd like to chime in here...first Atholk no disrespect personally but you clearly do not understand behavior modification like you think you do. A lot of your advice will not work whether she does or doesn't want to stay with him. I'm not even going to start pointing out examples, not worth the time to point out how much you don't know. Go get some books by B.F Skinner, Aubrey Daniels, and Howard Rachlin and come back in a year or two.

Like others here have said: "porn is the lazy man's out." if she really wants to keep him she needs to first make it crystal clear that this is a huge problem and ask him if he's willing to put in some real genuine effort to remedy the problem. If he isn't absolutely willing, I would consider stopping right there. 

If he is, here's one idea for you to consider...no more porn without you he has to agree on that. You both then select some tasteful couples movies with hot action and you gaze at it here and there during a long foreplay session. Give him oral, 69 everything. Take as long as you want. After you get off (hopefully) get him off to the porn if he wants, manually or orally. Then afterwords, after sex you allow him and yourself time together to gaze at the movie if you want. When you are done, movie off. Tell him you had a great time and you guys can do that again next time but no more movies without you. Select some new movies, scenes whatever to watch for next time. You are then pairing yourself with that reinforcement and building a new past history of how he uses and gets off to porn.
It becomes a "marital aid" rather than a crutch. 

Of course that is if you want to do all of that, i'm not suggesting that it's your "duty" to do any of it, in case my response looks that way. Good luck.


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## crazyanimal (Oct 10, 2009)

I guess I forgot to make things clear... we are not a young couple. My partner is in his 40's. 

I tried with him again the other day and the same result, limp. He got off and I made sure that he didn't leave the bedroom without finishing what he started. All was fine but it still bothered me that it has been so limp lately.

Yesterday, we were invited out for dinner. He did not want to go so I went ahead without him. I was only gone a few hours and when I returned I noticed he'd been out. I asked him and he said he went for a drive. Okay, fine.

I went upstairs and went to put clothes in the washer and noticed a freshly pair of soiled underwear. I checked the history on the computer and he had been staring at pics of women... probably erased the porn history.

This really upset me. Two days in a row that we've had sex and he is still masturbating??? I confronted him and he said he wasn't masturbating... so I then asked him the big question... are you sleeping around??? He said no but he's not been feeling really good lately and blaming things on age.

I talked to him and said that if your not masturbating and your not sleeping around then maybe you need to go get a physical cause the lack of erection could be something medical. He refused. (mind you, he doesn't know I seen the underwear). He said he was embarrassed to talk to the doc about "it". He has a male doctor and I said he would understand. He still refused and cut out to age. I gave up. I am not stupid... soiled underwear means jacking off or screwing around. 

By him refusing to see a doc tells me a few things, either he is truly embarrassed (which I doubt) OR he is jacking off/screwing around and knows why he doesn't have an erection and blames it on age AND third, he can have an orgasm with a limp **** so my sexual needs are not important to him.

Then he looks at me and says, why do you care, you were not interested before?? We had sex at least once a week... probably not a lot in a guys eyes but we didn't go months on end. That bothers me, even if I wasn't overly interested, we still had sex and I am still a healthy woman that wants to have sex.

The thing is, yes, he's in his 40's but since we've met has always had a VERY HIGH sex drive. Never had an issue getting a hard on and then BANG like a slap in the face, it all changes overnight. It doesn't make sense to me.


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## DownButNotOut (Apr 9, 2009)

I don't want to speculate about yesterday's dinner. But as for the other stuff.

The suddenness does seem to point to either an affair or a medical problem.

He could still have a medical issue that he doesn't want to face. Yes he could be very embarrassed to discuss it with his doc. Many guys don't even like to go to the doc at all. No guy likes to go to another guy (even a doctor) and say "Hey...I have the problem keeping it up".

40's is a bit early to have ED problems. But there are other medical issues that could be related: diabetes, high blood pressure, depression, stress, cardio-vascular disease. So he really should get checked out.

Do you know as fact that he is achieving full erections during masturbation (porn or no porn)?

You suspect him of an affair or porn, that keeps him from getting hard for you? You seem to have access to his computer. If you suspect strongly enough, install a keylogger. Even if he is deleting internet history you'll still see the sights he is going to. And any email.

Other than sexual performance, is there anything that makes you suspect him?



> Then he looks at me and says, why do you care, you were not interested before??


He sounds bitter about your sexual history (been there done that got the tshirt). The key (as you know) is not what was "before", but what is "now". I don't know what to say to help you help him let go of past resentments. But that could be part of it too...you start to have sex, he starts thinking about the past, gets pissed, and nothing happens down-town.

So make him get checked out. For his own health. 

Satisfy yourself about his porn/affair activities (keylogger?)

And then reassess. 

At least that's my not so stellar advice. Good luck!


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## crazyanimal (Oct 10, 2009)

What I don't understand, if he is embarrassed about it... why would he go to the doc awhile ago because he was curious about viagara. He never had erection problems but wanted to know if it would keep him harder... longer. If he can go discuss that, surely he can discuss this issue.

As for hard during masturbation... I don't know. I do know that before all this "no erection" thing started and he'd wait and not masturbate... it was at full attention and ready to go. Why a sudden change??

I do suspect the porn. He's watched it before and didn't delete history. I commented to him on how it made me feel and he said I was overreacting but after more talking said he'd not watch it again... but I have a good feeling the history is being deleted. He will still go on utube and watch skimpy bikini women and go online and find half naked pics too. 

I am a bit suspicious of the affair because he is secretive. Example: last night for the drive.. wouldn't tell me where he went... just kept telling me went for a drive. He hid his cell phone. He has a hotmail account and is head strong on us not sharing an email address. We have separate bank accounts and he won't combine anything. He just seems so secrative and when I question anything he says I am too controlling. I thought sharing your life with someone meant opening up to them and sharing things with them?? Yes, everyone needs their space but when he leaves the house and doesn't tell me where he was... I am suspicious. Or a call comes in on his cell phone or a text message and he looks at it so I can't see and then deletes them. I've caught him lying about his phone calls, checking phone history. I thought at first that he was a private kind of person (he is to some point) but if you want all those things to be kept to yourself... be single. It is almost like he wants a single life but has me to fall back on when nothing else is available.

He just seems distant the last little while. I made a sex comment or something to other day to get something started and he said to me, "you told me that is all I think about is sex, all I talk about is sex" so I won't say or do anything anymore".

Yes, I told him that... all the words from his mouth are sex related. He would never touch me or hug me or showed me he cared without having his hands on my tits, my ass or some other sexual place. It got to a point that if he couldn't hug me without gropping, I didn't want a hug. I am his fiance, not a piece of meat. He'd even make sex comments out in public with other women. For example: at walmart the other day and the lady behind the check out made a comment "getting it from both sides". Here and I were joking about him (in a fun way) and she made the comment and he remarked "isn't that every guys fantasy, one on each side?". This isn't the first time he's made sex comments to other women with me right there. He doesn't realize how that makes me feel. 

He is a very spiteful man too. He will respond in ways, just out of spite or do them because he knows it hurts me. It is hard to communicate with him because he ends up always turning it around as if it was my fault. Then he'll go days and won't apologize or anything... I end up always apologizing (even if I don't feel I was wrong) just to make peace again and relieve the tension in the air.

I love him, he wasn't like this when we met, but I've been seriously second guessing this relationship. I am stuck in a rut financially though and cannot take care of myself or my son on my own income.

I can't make him go to the doc. I've encouraged him and expressed it in a way to say that I am concerned for his well being (which I am) but tried to make it not sound so shameful or unmanly because of his "problem". He plain out refuses. He's not the type of guy who won't go to the doc if he's not feeling well, so refusing tells me there is more to it then a health issue.


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## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

Men can be ridiculous about sex and what they're willing to admit or not admit. And I disagree, there are plenty men in their 40s with ED issues... 

Is he overweight? History of cardiovascular problems in his family? Diabetic? Any medications involved?

Secrecy is a problem. You may have to get sneaky and check up on him.

But more than that, I think I would make it VERY CLEAR to him that something needs to be done. He has to recognize that this is something that can kill the relationship. You're going to have to deal with your financial situation in another way because staying with a guy because you can't take care of yourself really isn't cool.


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## crazyanimal (Oct 10, 2009)

I added a trial version of keylogger until I can buy one. So far, he's been getting dirty emails from a co worker. Only added yesterday so not much else going on. He knows how I feel about that stuff so he can ask his co worker to not send them. To me, it is a very unprofessional of his co worker too.

Since I've asked him about sleeping around, he hasn't even come near me. He's making me feel like I was the bad one for suggesting such a thing.


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## Mattie J (Sep 1, 2009)

Crazyanimal,

I'm sorry to read about your predicament. You're doing the right things as far as addressing your suspicions since your husband has not been honest with you. I had to do the same thing this past spring with my wife but it only took a couple of days before I had enough evidence to confront her with it, and then she came clean about her emotional affair. We're doing much better today, so I'm glad I utilized the keylogger. I agree with what has been suggested above, since you are only engaged I would confront him with an ultimatum and make him decide which path he will choose, otherwise you will be very unhappy as his wife as you apparently are as his fiance. Please let us know how it turns out for you!


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## crazyanimal (Oct 10, 2009)

The dirty emails he rec'd were from a male co worker... guys sharing stuff... but he knows I don't like it.

UPDATE: I've had the keylogger on the computer and so far, no more dirty emails... no porn. I did see he logged onto the descrete youtube stuff but only viewed one video and logged off. He erased it from history but I seen it on the keylogger. Only one but no hardcore porn, I can accept.

Yesterday, he called the doc when I came home from work and made an appointment for next week to go see him. I had not mentioned anything else other then the day I was posting on here. He did listen and it makes me feel good to see he is at least going and giving it a try. We've not been intimate since the previous posts because I felt so put off. 

I will continue with the logger though just to be sure he is keeping his nose clean. There have been no signs of infidelity through emails or chat services.

We talked today too and he said the night he was satisfied and I wasn't... he thought I was. He said that next time, let him know and he will wait until later. I told him how it made me feel that he could satisfy himself but I couldn't. I also asked him if it was me making him not able to perform and he said no, he is very turned on by me. I am far from being a beautiful, skinny woman but I am still the same since we've met. I've not gained weight or gotten any unglier... LOL We did talk in more detail about sex and what might be some issues... things we can work on.

So far so good... we'll see what the doc says.


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## chuckf75 (Sep 6, 2009)

I want to point out you have a lot of grips about your man and I am sure they are for real. However, there are always 3 sides to every story (his side, her side and the TRUTH) Not meaning to say you are wrong but if this guy is as bad as you say, why are you with him? There must be some good points about him, right?

Do you try talking about your sex life over the kitchen table, in a form that shows you both want to improve it? Sounds like some bad communication between you both.

I hear you about him only caring about his own needs and I do know some guys like that. I never get it but some men are like that. I think some men want the woman they love to not really enjoy sex as "only ****s enjoy sex" or something like that. But in that talk you have with him, express how frustrating this is for him and that it is making your sex life not as good. 

ED can strike at different ages, I have this myself and drugs work wonders for it. It is a real blow to a man's ego but if he can get over the embarrassment and get the proper medication, he will feel like a porn star. I find I only need some "help" every once in a while so it is not like you have to take it every day. Also, when not on drugs I can be having sex, really into it, everything is fine and then, wham, softness sets in for no reason at all. And you can bet the bigger deal you make of this the more pressure he will have and the worse the problem will be.

He may or may not be masterbating too much but you can bet he is not happy with your sex life either. If you guys work together and make it better, the masterbating will probably take care of itself.

BTW, most men (not all) and some women share dirty stories via email. With the problems you have, this is minor and I would let it go. Pick your battles, this is not the reason for your poor sex life.

Good luck!


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## TheDiddler (Oct 15, 2009)

Just make sure you aren't proving a point by wanting to get it on to soon after he's masturbated.

Try and space it out.

Ladies, especially married ones, please keep in mind that your warning signs should be if he quits masturbating.

Masturbation is healthy, if a husband is beat down(no pun intended) about masturbating enough that he stops, there's a chance you won't be getting any at all.

Something to consider...


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## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

Diddler, where did you get that bit of information? It is the first time I've ever read such a thing.


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## crazyanimal (Oct 10, 2009)

Yes, he does have good qualities... obviously I am still with him but he does have communication problems which in turn makes me sometimes feel the way I do. I can sometimes never get straight answers or avoidance to questions.

NO... I do not try to have sex after he's masturbated to prove a point. I do not know when he does it all the time and why would I want to go about the process knowing he's just masterbated to only be disappointed and add more pressure to the whole scenerio... that would be stupid.

Yes, it is healthy for man or woman to masturbate but how healthy is it when it affects the relationship in the sex department?? How can you space it out when he does it quite possibly every day??? When does the time come in for me??

I've done research on masturbating and too much masturbation is not good for a man either. It can cause exhaustion, ED issues and sooner or later, he will never be satisfied by a real woman because all he can get off to is his hand. 

I don't think either of us are happy with our sex life right now. He always chooses the wrong time to make advances towards me. I worked for two days with only 6 hours sleep and the minute I walks in the door he is all over me wanting something. Can I at least get my work clothes off and sit down first??

He has told me on more then one occasion that he missed the best part of me... being younger and more active. He also continues to describe how he hopes I reach my "peak". It doesn't make me feel adequate enough with those types of comments, the porn and masturbation. I feel like I would never be good enough for him.

We have tried to talk about sex on a very serious side. Yes, his ego gets in the way and he doesn't want to admit he cannot be the man or doesn't do the "manly duties" of his woman. But he can sure comment on what I do wrong or how I could change.

I am just hoping that next week, he sees the doctor and we can start working on things. I did comment today on how I felt he was not attracted to me and that I was the issue for him to not be able to perform. He said it wasn't true... he is just as attracted to me as before... I believe him... his response was very believable... but it still crosses my mind because of other things he does.

So let's hope that the doc appointment will give him new insight and feel more comfortable once the initial appt is over with to express more and talk about it more.


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## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

He has a lot more to lose if he admits the truth to you though, so however believable he may seem, don't underestimate people's capacity to lie to everyone, including themselves.

Look, you're not married. Why on Earth go through this?


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## crazyanimal (Oct 10, 2009)

I give up. His doc appointment was cancelled today because of an emergency for the doc. He doesn't seem interested in booking another appointment.

He made a comment "it wasn't so bad the other night". We had sex or I should say tried to have sex the other night and it was semi-hard. Obviously wouldn't stay up and when it did get up, it was by his hand and it wasn't hard like it is suppose to be. If that wasn't so bad for him, sure he can have an orgasm... bad for me cause I lose all interest and don't want to get horney or excited if I am getting built up for disappointment.

I've had it, he doesn't want to go to the doc... go ahead and watch his porn and do what ever he wants to do with himself. I'm done, I'm not wasting my energy on "HIS" sex life anymore.


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