# Recent FB Revelation



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

A mutual "friend" of my STBXW on FB let me know of a recent posting where some foreign guy put in a friend request on her page something to the effect that "As long as we're going to be in a mini for 12 days, I thought that we may as well be friends." Apparently, he runs some kind of business in another country. The dudes profile picture, however, is with another woman. 

FYI, STBXW is still listing her marital status on there as "Divorced!"

Sad, disgusting, and disheartening all at the same time!


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

FB = so much drama


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## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

Jellybeans said:


> FB = so much drama


Lots of times the source of all evil


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> FB = so much drama


Only if you let it be.

Why did this mutual friend tell you? Are you divorced? Sorry, not aware of your whole story...


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## Kearson (Jan 18, 2012)

That's why I unfriended my STBXH and told everyon not to tell me what's on his page unless he's unleashing suicidal rants or something.


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## Nsweet (Mar 3, 2012)

So.....

He's chasing her and trying to make relationship out of a business trip. This guy knows nothing and will probably like every post and comment on everything until he chases her away in less than a month or so. 

If she want's to pretend she's divorce to justify her affairs then let her. She can lie to herself all she wants but it still won't make her feel better.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

that_girl said:


> Only if you let it be.
> 
> Why did this mutual friend tell you? Are you divorced? Sorry, not aware of your whole story...


That: My friend is a happily married guy who has been a personal friend(moreso like a brother) and colleague of mine for almost 20 years. He has done FB prolifically along with a lot of my other friends. Since they all worked with me in some capacity, STBXW friended most all of my personal friends who did FB. They exchanged messages periodically mostly in regard to our avocation, our families, et. al. Evidently he saw something on there that he called to my attention because he knew of my situation. I am not divorced. We have barely got the ball rolling on it in court, just barely into the discovery phase. STBXW has been representing herself as "divorced" on FB almost ever since the forced separation of a year ago.

Evidently, the foreign guy is engaged in a business discipline that my STBXW invests in pretty much on an international basis.

I know that it might be asking quite a lot for you to read my lengthy narrative link below, but it would answer so many of the questions that would be redundant to ask and answer here.

But in a nutshell, it is just a matter of wealth and power versus someone who just doesn't really have a great deal of it.

Thanks for asking! I'd appreciate any input!


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## sadwithouthim (Dec 8, 2011)

rome2012 said:


> Lots of times the source of all evil


I could not agree more.

Arbitrator....I will say a special prayer for you tonight. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

sadwithouthim said:


> I could not agree more.
> 
> Arbitrator....I will say a special prayer for you tonight.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Thanks, Sad! It hasn't been a real good day~other things compounded including a mildly sarcastic email request from STBXW late this afternoon! Just been trying to put on a happy face on here most of the day. Sometimes I'm successful; sometimes I'm not! I just get a kick out of trying to make other folks smile, laugh, or help them in some small way try to cope with their particular dilemmas, That's my reward!

It's good to have my HS Grad home tonight as he's kind of busy looking for a job and coming down off of the high from his recent trip to Italy. But his presence here with me is more than comforting!

Thanks for your prayers! I definitely owe you all a big one!


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## jtut21 (Mar 21, 2012)

So sorry about the recent revelation. It is easy at times to read into something that could be completely harmless. I hope that in this case that is true.

All the best,

Josh


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## MyselfAgain (Apr 21, 2012)

Hey everyone! Just want to say that I have been off FB wince my H walked out two months ago, aid I could not be happier with that decision. It makes NC a breeze, and think of all the time I have saved...spending time with family and friends in person! So much more rewarding. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

jtut21 said:


> So sorry about the recent revelation. It is easy at times to read into something that could be completely harmless. I hope that in this case that is true.
> 
> All the best,
> 
> Josh


I've done a relatively fair job of doing the 180 on her, but having had seen her at my son's graduation ceremony the other night didn't just do me just a heck of a lot of good. I only feel uncertain of myself when I start remembering back to those good times that we so lovingly shared, and how much that I find myself really missing her extended family members. In some respects, I'd like to feel that I was closer to them than she was. But I greatly understand both their preeminent silence and their defense of kinship.

But we'll get through this, albeit one day at a time! Thanks for your concern!


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## MyselfAgain (Apr 21, 2012)

Letting go of the extended family is sometimes more difficult than letting go of the ex...I miss my in-laws more than my ex most days. They didn't cheat or walk out. I like to remind myself that someday I will have a new love and a new extended family...hope that you can look forward too.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

MyselfAgain said:


> Letting go of the extended family is sometimes more difficult than letting go of the ex...I miss my in-laws more than my ex most days. They didn't cheat or walk out. I like to remind myself that someday I will have a new love and a new extended family...hope that you can look forward too.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



My attorney has cautioned me to stay away from them, at least initially while legal proceedings are looming. But after the dust finally settles, my friendship will definitely be there for them. They are truly great and loving people! Deep down, they know who it is that's at fault!


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## UpnDown (May 4, 2012)

arbitrator said:


> My attorney has cautioned me to stay away from them, at least initially while legal proceedings are looming. But after the dust finally settles, my friendship will definitely be there for them. They are truly great and loving people! Deep down, they know who it is that's at fault!


Hmmm, I regularly talk to my SIL. We have spent more time in the last 2 months together than I think in the last couple years. Not just us 2, I go there with the kids so they can play with aunty while dad and uncle hang out too.

We talked a lot about what was going on, I feel comfortable with her and trust her. Told her a few things I know I shouldn't have but nothing that would put myself in legal trouble, more personal opinions than anything.

I have also stopped talking about stbxw a lot more, just there to enjoy the company now is all. 

Actually have plans to go shoot some pool with FIL this weekend, he has been wanting to do it for a while .. if we can keep the conversations between eachother and not about what's going on (he's not the type to dig for information) then it will be like old times and that's what I want.

But ya.. I agree, it's been hard letting them go. They were the closest thing I had to a 'stable' family life compared to what I grew up with and I met my FIL only a few weeks prior to my actual father passing from cancer. He made a good role model and gave me such good advice for a 21 year old losing a parent.


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## GTA06 (Feb 17, 2012)

Never knew FACEBOOK would end creating such huge emotional mess all around the world. SOmething similar went down with one my female colleague sometime back.
Well gooluck arbitrator in your healing process.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

UpnDown said:


> Hmmm, I regularly talk to my SIL. We have spent more time in the last 2 months together than I think in the last couple years. Not just us 2, I go there with the kids so they can play with aunty while dad and uncle hang out too.
> 
> We talked a lot about what was going on, I feel comfortable with her and trust her. Told her a few things I know I shouldn't have but nothing that would put myself in legal trouble, more personal opinions than anything.
> 
> ...


 Like you say, it is hard letting them go. STBXW's Mom absolutely walks on water. I've gotten only a card from her in the year long separation and can understand her predicament.
STBXW's brother, sister, and their son's are all great kids, highly unlike those renegades belonging to my STBXW.

Many thanks for your care and understanding!


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