# Same Old Story, Just Need Some Advice



## Adam12 (Mar 11, 2016)

Obviously it would take months to fully understand the ins and outs of a relationship but here is a long story, short:

My wife and I met in high school, instantly fell in love. We moved in together right out of high school and married after 6 years of being together. Things went great at first, but then we fell in a rut. She was feeling stagnant in her life. She wanted to explore the world and was feeling anxious about "settling down" so young. We both worked full time and my job kept me from home waaayy too often. We started growing apart. I stopped doing the little things and our marriage suffered. 

Finally she dropped the bombshell; divorce. I was blindsided (looking back I was just ignorant). I offered going to counseling, quitting my job or moving. Anything she wanted. It was too late, the damage was done and she no longer loved me. Not wanting to make things worse, I moved out. We talk a little here and there about taxes, insurance, etc. Its been 6 months and i truly thought I had moved on. 

Till these last 2 weeks. She's started popping up in my dreams and I started thinking about her day in and day out. I've been reluctantly biting my tongue about contacting her. I'm willing to do anything to earn her back, but I know I've only got one shot at this (hopefully). Any advice, ideas or questions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time.


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## Sparta (Sep 4, 2014)

OP Sorry you are here, the honest truth is move on. I'm sure she has, right.?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Tron (Jan 31, 2013)

Does she ever call you?

What have you been doing the past 6 months while separated?

What has she been doing the past 6 months?

Status of the divorce?


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

I assume you have no children, so this is simple.

Find someone else who loves you.

But don't rush into marriage again!


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

Once someone tells you, it is over. There is no starting over or winning her back. Love is a mixture of chemicals in your brain. Once it is gone, love cannot reappear by thought. It is either there or not. I guess that you have never been on the other side of your situation and fallen out of love with someone. I have and I never felt love for those people again. You should take stock of yourself because you are addicted to your ex and are thinking that things can go back to the way they were if only she gave you another chance. A chance for what? You cannot make her brain produce those chemicals that make us love someone. If she decides to take you back it will not be because she magically fell back in love with you. She will take you back knowing that she holds all the power in the marriage and is free to do as she pleases without fear. Cheating is usually what happens. I dated a few wives whose husbands feared losing them so much that they looked the other way when their wives cheated rather than face the alternative. 

It is pretty common to date and then marry your high school sweetheart. All of my original friends did so and I almost did. They are all divorced because as two of them told me, from the age of 14 they only dated one woman. They never experienced others and were together for so long that they thought the next logical step was to get married. However, they were not teens anymore and they realized that there are other flavors of candy out there and some of them tasted a lot better than the only flavor they knew. Do yourself a favor and move on. I did and it was the best thing I ever did in my life My ex fiancee went on to fall in and out of love with a few other men before getting married and then divorcing her husband to marry a woman who offered her a place in her home and financial support. Any port in a storm. Instead of becoming her husband and then getting divorced, I ended up with my wife of 45 years. If I did not walk away from my ex when I did, my life would not have been as great as it has been. BTW, I think of my first love almost every day and remember only the good things. Our memories are like that. We remember the good and bury the bad. Despite her being a big part of my past life, I never felt love for her again.


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## unbe (Dec 20, 2013)

If she hasn't contacted you in the past 6 months you have no other option, plus shes probably with someone else.

Need more details from you to help better.

Answer trons post...


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

Did you guys have awesome and frequent sex? Only reason I can think you still want her. 

You need to move on and be with a few women. Go have fun.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Adam don't be so quick to assume that your ex in your dream and thoughts is a manifestation of your desire for her, it could be a representation of something else, perhaps the old her, the her you first met. it could be also what you miss about your life as a couple, but it may not necessarily mean that you need her but you miss the couple-hood with someone special. food for thought


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Your wife was cheating on you before your divorce--- really good chance. Either way, I assure you that once a woman stops loving you, it's over.
The dreams mean nothing.
Of you contact her again it will hurt you more. She may even enjoy the power she has over you and string you along a little.
I would not contact her. 
I know it hurts.
Talk to some attractive so
En and get her out of your head.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Don't be that guy...chicks like confident guys so find that guy you were before...or even when you met and be that guy.

If she doesn't chase you down some other chick will!


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