# Lasting Longer



## Ted (Mar 2, 2009)

Ok here is an awkward question for me to ask. Does anyone have advice for a guy on performing longer in bed?

My wife and I have a good sex life. I enjoy foreplay and focus on that a lot, so she usually has an orgasm. But it would be nice if I didn't feel like I had to get her all the way to the finish line before we had actual intercourse.

So anyone have any advice?


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## Millania007 (Nov 16, 2009)

K I know I am not a man and dont know how to make it "last longer" for men but my H says when he is about to cm, something that helps him NOT cm is he will take it out for a few moments, kiss me, caress me, we focus on each other, eye contact, then we continue again, the sudden stop of the "act" helps him last much much longer, and I can NOT complain either. He also has said he will try and think of something else for just a few moments like baseball haha! I swear, he really takes pride in his love making so he uses this technique to keep on going like a dam energizer bunny and I love it ha!

U DONT have to make her orgsm BEFORE intercourse, sure its nice and all but my H will sometimes jus go down for a few minutes then I am all hot and ready to begin, then we do it for a few minutes then he stops, goes back down>>OHHHHH WOWWW huge turn on for women, try this, this will help YOU last longer too because you stop the "act" to go downtown, then u start up again and men can last longer this way  hope this helps, let us know!


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

for me, cumming prior to intercourse does wonders for longevity. try to cum during foreplay or oral, have her keep you going then go to it.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

It's easy to overcome PE. All it takes is about two weeks of dedication. Just do these exercises: Premature Ejaculation


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## Ted (Mar 2, 2009)

Thanks for the suggestions everyone. Mark, I should have guessed that you had written something about this.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

Millania007 said:


> something that helps him NOT cm is he will take it out for a few moments, kiss me, caress me, we focus on each other, eye contact, then we continue again, the sudden stop of the "act" helps him last much much longer, and I can NOT complain either.


This is a really good method. Some women don't like it, but they soon get used to it - and the benefit it brings 

After doing it like over several sessions, you will find that you don't need to take it all the way out. And then after that you will find all you have to do is slow down every now and then i*n good time*.

It's all about paying attention to your arousal level.

Eventually, you will find, all you have to do is change your position slightly, or breath more deeply, and the urgency will pass. It's sooooo easy. Men who cum quickly are in a hurry to get to the target. It's all about slowing down and enjoying the ride


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## Tweak (Nov 18, 2009)

I really recommend these....
Kegel exercise - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Kegel exercise makes muscle more toned and erections firmer.
I have even read articles stating that men exercise their penis with a wet wash cloth.The idea is to have a erection and place the wash cloth over the penis and do these exercises,kinda like lifting weights. 
You will see,over time.Harder erections and more intense orgasms.

If this is not "your thing".I would suggest paying close attention to what you body is saying to you when you are ready to cum.It is key to stop and with draw BEFORE the point of no return.I use this method alot,I feel the build up and with draw.I usually will give oral or other pleasuring to my wife.
Also I come to quick sometimes to,usually if we have not had sex for a while,usually my second erection lasts alot longer.I have never been one to go for hours on one erection,I do get into sex so much though that I can give oral to her for along time.Usually then I am ready for another round,which it then lasts longer.


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## Millania007 (Nov 16, 2009)

@Ted, how long do your sessions last? 

I think a normal "good" session should be at least 20minutes, somedays I get lucky and get him for a whole 45minutes...yum


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## Ted (Mar 2, 2009)

Well the last time was a quickie, so it was only a few minutes, but generally foreplay may go on for anywhere from a half hour to an hour with me revving her engines, but typically once I'm inside it usually last only 10minutes or less. I do last longer sometimes. Although she almost always does orgasm during this window. 

I have worked more on coming out, and slowing down. I like your idea of stopping and going down on her again, but she usually tries to stop me at that point, because she would rather me be inside her by then. 

She has told me that I'm very satisfying as a lover, but I can't help but think if I could last longer I might be able to give her multiple orgasms.


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## fireemtmom7 (Nov 3, 2009)

So whats the average because my man only last less than a minute from penetration :scratchhead:


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## Tweak (Nov 18, 2009)

It honestly for me depends on how long its been since my hunger was last satisfied.
If my wife does not tend to me for a week or two,then you can bank on it happening quickly.If however we are having sex regularly,and if I have masturbated in say the last 24 hours.Then 5 min. for the first go.
The second time around though maybe 5 to 10 minutes,never really timed it out.
And on the rarer third erection,I have lasted till she is pretty much saying "Ok freak show get it over with" 

I might add Frequency seems to vary greatly with me and her because of some health issues.She has Fibromyalgia (spelling) and I am messed up in my back really bad,but I do not let that stop me. 

Awesome sex for me would be 2 to 3 times a week.
Awesome sex for her would probably be 1 time a week.However I am currently working on this. 

Men need to learn that sex is not all in the penis.Even if a guy has a hair trigger,he can still be a good lover if he is good with his hands and mouth.

I have also heard about desensitizing creme's one can use on the Hood of the penis to help with lasting longer.
I have better success with more frequent sex,the more I have it the longer I last.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

Millania007 said:


> I think a normal "good" session should be at least 20minutes, somedays I get lucky and get him for a whole 45minutes...yum


Once a man can go for 30 minutes, he can last indefinitely. The only thing that makes me cum before I want to is tiredness. If I have not had enough sleep, I lose focus after half an hour and don't monitor my arousal level closely enough.

We have gone for 3 hours with coffee breaks (freshly ground beans of course)


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## Commited1 (Nov 13, 2009)

Millania007 said:


> K I know I am not a man and dont know how to make it "last longer" for men but my H says when he is about to cm, something that helps him NOT cm is he will take it out for a few moments, kiss me, caress me, we focus on each other, eye contact, then we continue again, the sudden stop of the "act" helps him last much much longer, and I can NOT complain either. He also has said he will try and think of something else for just a few moments like baseball haha! I swear, he really takes pride in his love making so he uses this technique to keep on going like a dam energizer bunny and I love it ha!
> 
> U DONT have to make her orgsm BEFORE intercourse, sure its nice and all but my H will sometimes jus go down for a few minutes then I am all hot and ready to begin, then we do it for a few minutes then he stops, goes back down>>OHHHHH WOWWW huge turn on for women, try this, this will help YOU last longer too because you stop the "act" to go downtown, then u start up again and men can last longer this way  hope this helps, let us know!


:smthumbup: yes yes yes this is great advice not only on lasting longer but on great sex as well. Nice tip and well said, ty.


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## Commited1 (Nov 13, 2009)

Ted said:


> Ok here is an awkward question for me to ask. Does anyone have advice for a guy on performing longer in bed?
> 
> My wife and I have a good sex life. I enjoy foreplay and focus on that a lot, so she usually has an orgasm. But it would be nice if I didn't feel like I had to get her all the way to the finish line before we had actual intercourse.
> 
> So anyone have any advice?


I think Millania007 has some great advice. I am alot like you though in the sense that I really enjoy alot of foreplay and my wife normally has at least one O at that time. The difference is that after she had enough O's to want me in her, she pulls me on top of her and we go at it like crazy until she has at least another O, then back to the thing that brought her first O's, and back to the second thing etc. Sometimes it takes me too long to get off (like 3 or 4 hours) and that can be a problem. But I am usuallly there after her 2nd O from intercourse. 

What I do to last as long as possible (in addition to what Millania007 said) is I will bust one out by myself about 3 hours prior to getting into bed with my wife.

Also, if you O super quick, take a break for a little bit after your O, get some food or whatever and then go back at it after about 20 minutes. Sometimes the first quick one is a little baby O, the second one is a big O, and the third one rocks you hard enough to temporarily lose control of your thought process and body. Its nice to lay there in your lovers warm comfy embrace, trembling gently, with your consciousness just starting to come back into your head after something like that.

Maybe try thinking about having mutliple O's yourself, then it doesn't matter if the first one happens to quickly 

Its a sport! Its an artform! Most importantly it is one of the primary ways to make a deep deep connection with the love of your life!!


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## hubby (Aug 10, 2009)

I am on the opposite end. I last too long. You would think that would be a good thing, not for us. As long as I have the energy I can keep going. Most of the time it is my wife who asks me to hurry it up as things can get sore down there after awhile apparently. Typically it is about 30-45 mins of penetration, but she can't orgasm through penetration so I think that gets old for her. When I use a condom, forget it. I wish I could cum quicker.


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## hubby (Aug 10, 2009)

Now that I think of it, she has been doing a bit more foreplay these days which has helped. We do use condoms so I can get close and then I can "loose it" and it is almost like starting over from scratch. When it is time for me, I really need to concentrate. I can't kiss or talk for about 5-10 mins to get there. However, I don't like having to do that as I feel some what disconnected. It is much more fun to just not worry about it and play around. Sometimes I just call it quits and she will finish me off.


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## hubby (Aug 10, 2009)

Same here. There is a point of no return. That I think is the best feeling. I try to hold that for as long as I can. For me it lasts about a minute or so before I cum. I love to kiss my wife really passionately and hard. I loose all sense of control and inhibition. Not sure really what I do then but I do know that I love kissing my wife when I cum. Sometimes I like to just look into her eyes, but I make such crazy faces the my wife can't help but crack up.


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## distraught (Sep 30, 2009)

I haven't seen this addressed here yet, but what if he looses his erection as soon as he penetrates? His erection is fine during foreplay, but once he penetrates, it's gone.
Could this be medical, or are there other issues at play?


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## Mogget (Nov 26, 2009)

hubby said:


> I am on the opposite end. I last too long. You would think that would be a good thing, not for us. As long as I have the energy I can keep going. Most of the time it is my wife who asks me to hurry it up as things can get sore down there after awhile apparently. Typically it is about 30-45 mins of penetration, but she can't orgasm through penetration so I think that gets old for her. When I use a condom, forget it. I wish I could cum quicker.


hey hubby - like you said if you can't O during penetration ten it feels great for a while, but after that the sensation gets kinda 'blanked' as your body goes "ho-hum I guess this will just keep happening", once THAT happens you can start to lose your lubrication and it is all down hill from there, things can get quite sore. 

I doubt I could maintain enthusiasm for 45 min or even 30 min of just penetration. I am lucky in that my H is quick enough that I don't find maintaining physiological interest difficult.

I think I recall that your wife only likes missionary? Do you think you might get off quicker in other positions? Would warming you up with oral (not to the finish) be an option? That's usually what I do if I am not up for an epic event or if I am tired and don't want to stay awake too long...


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## BradLead (Apr 18, 2012)

Every man is born with premature ejaculation, so having it is perfectly normal to start with. Controlling ejaculation is something you have to learn just as you had to learn to control your bladder as a child. We get taught to control our bladders but no one teaches us how to control ejaculation.

The American Academy of Family Physicians confirms that: Behavioral methods are helpful for more than 95 percent of men who have premature ejaculation. So, if you have tried exercises and they have not helped it is because they have not been explained properly to you. Many of the treatment programs offered online have not been written by professionals.
Do not waste time or money on sprays, vitamins, herbs, dietary supplements or drugs. This is a learning problem and these things will not help you learn to control ejaculation any more than they can help you to learn to speak another language.

There are a lot of high-priced programs advertised online but all you need is an inexpensive little book written by a doctor and sex therapist that has been used successfully around the world for more than 32 years.

It is called "Lasting Longer: The Treatment Program for Premature Ejaculation" by Dr. Sy Silverberg M.D.

For free preview chapters from the book visit the website.


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

why are so many old threads being revived these days?


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