# Why does it always have to be younger and more attractive?



## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

I have read many posts on here and always wonder why one of the big reasons given for getting out a bad marriage is to find someone younger and more attractive to spend your new life with. Why are we not suggesting that the people find a more suitable mate that shares their values, morals, beliefs, and views for a marriage and the future, instead of just casing it on age and looks (all of which will change, it is inevitable). It is always thrown out as a suggestion to find someone younger and prettier, when it should be just someone better suited to them and their lifestyle.

Not all of us are young and pretty/ handsome, so does that mean if we leave our marriage there is no one for us other than someone older and uglier that is just leaving their marriage and looking for us (the younger version of their just divorced spouse)?? :scratchhead:


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## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

Squeakr said:


> I have read many posts on here and always wonder why one of the big reasons given for getting out a bad marriage is to find someone younger and more attractive to spend your new life with. Why are we not suggesting that the people find a more suitable mate that shares their values, morals, beliefs, and views for a marriage and the future, instead of just casing it on age and looks (all of which will change, it is inevitable). It is always thrown out as a suggestion to find someone younger and prettier, when it should be just someone better suited to them and their lifestyle.
> 
> Not all of us are young and pretty/ handsome, so does that mean if we leave our marriage there is no one for us other than someone older and uglier that is just leaving their marriage and looking for us (the younger version of their just divorced spouse)?? :scratchhead:


I think those things are aimed at either:
1. Building hope for a better spouse in the BS who likely feels very unattractive after Dday.
2. Making the previous spouse jealous.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Squeakr said:


> I have read many posts on here and always wonder why one of the big reasons given for getting out a bad marriage is to find someone younger and more attractive to spend your new life with. Why are we not suggesting that the people *find a more suitable mate that shares their values, morals, beliefs, and views for a marriage and the future*, instead of just casing it on age and looks (all of which will change, it is inevitable). It is always thrown out as a suggestion to find someone younger and prettier, when it should be just someone better suited to them and their lifestyle.
> 
> Not all of us are young and pretty/ handsome, so does that mean if we leave our marriage there is no one for us other than someone older and uglier that is just leaving their marriage and looking for us (the younger version of their just divorced spouse)?? :scratchhead:


I don't see this ("to find someone younger and more attractive ") said all that much, but maybe I haven't read enough threads. And of course it's a poor reason, and perhaps just means you can do better than the old model.

When I left my ex, I found the bolded - she just happened to _also_ be younger and prettier.


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## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

If your next spouse isn't a cheat you're doing better.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

Married but Happy said:


> I don't see this ("to find someone younger and more attractive ") said all that much, but maybe I haven't read enough threads. And of course it's a poor reason, and perhaps just means you can do better than the old model.
> 
> When I left my ex, I found the bolded - she just happened to _also_ be younger and prettier.


I saw it posted 3 times just today, which is why I put this on here. I agree with the others that it should be someone better suited for you and not all about looks, now if that happens as well, then all the better. :smthumbup:


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## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

You noticed that too......

I cannot tell you the number of people I know that have been dumped by their spouse for the "younger and prettier" version...

My office is full of them.


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## Lovemytruck (Jul 3, 2012)

Squeakr,

I had to chuckle on this one. It is probably a cheer for a beaten down BS to go find someone better. Revenge of sorts?

Your question does ring true to me. If you are looking for a stable LTR we should look to someone that is at a slightly less sex rank. Right?

They will follow, put-out, and be happy to get us.

A case also could be made that a man or woman that has been burned by an A would be less likely to engage in another A. As long as they are not damaged to the point of being a serial cheater, or a bitter BS.

Is the ultimate point of a marriage to not be betrayed? I would hope it is ultimately for love.

There really are not guarantees in life.

What do you think? 

P.S. I think this is a good thread idea.


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## badcompany (Aug 4, 2010)

I would think the younger age part comes from availability of a good "replacement" sadly. Figure in most cases that one person that is a product of divorce has a problem of some sort...cheating...drugs...alcoholic....asexual....personality disorder...etc etc. Then you've got the older ones that never married.....likely a large percentage of them have an issue. All that leaves is younger partners, the good 1/2 of divorcees, and the rare older person that has a sheltered life or profession and just hasn't found their right match yet. It doesn't paint a good picture for the "older" on the market does it?
I'm sorry to say, but at least in my locale there is way to much me-me-me selfishness in the middle aged women "on the market". A lot of them should just advertise use of their holes in trade for a Mercedes and exotic travel destinations and put the façade aside.


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## Wideopn Dave (Apr 11, 2013)

My "dearly departed" ex wife left me (43 and reasonably good looking, fit and with a successful business) and "traded up" to a 59 year old....

I have caught the eye of a few single gals ranging between 32 and 36....they don't seem perturbed by the age gap...neither did my ex wife.

For my part (personal preference) I would seek out a younger partner next time round...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Squeakr said:


> I saw it posted 3 times just today, which is why I put this on here. I agree with the others that it should be someone better suited for you and not all about looks, now if that happens as well, then all the better. :smthumbup:


Maybe you're on to something, OP. But at some point we'll run out of younger and more attractive people!

Oh, not only is my new wife younger and more attractive than the old, I'm younger and more attractive than her ex as well!


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## Racer (Sep 24, 2009)

There might also be another factor at play. Remember wayward redflag behavior changes? Grooming, wardrobe, diets, getting fit, etc. That’s what people who are trying to actively date do. People in stable marriages sort of don’t ‘stack the deck’ like that and tend to ‘let themselves go’ a bit more. So generally, dating people are going to be ‘more attractive’ as they are actively trying attract.


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## badcompany (Aug 4, 2010)

I agree with lovemytruck, I'm in investigation mode for what could make me a betrayed spouse, and I'll probably seek the same after my healing time has passed. I think the level of understanding between two BS's would make for a good foundation. I've always been more laid back and serious than people my age. I got accepted into running start in high school when I was 16(go to college for HS credits), and it was such a relief to be in school with people that were mature and wanted to be there. Many of them didn't even know I was a HS student and I made a lot of friends there. I don't think a much younger woman would work for me.


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

I have also seen advice wherein the men are told that their odds of finding someone younger and prettier are great, but God forbid, if you are woman over 40, might as well give up because the odds of a woman finding a good mate after 40 are nil.


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## gdtm0111 (Oct 15, 2012)

I would probably look for a younger woman as well - just personal preference. Some days though I feel that age wouldn't matter - in dating someone older. It would be someone over/past the constant bar scene and partying part of their life. I don't want to sit around the house either, so someone who is somewhat active. I agree, def someone with more in common.

I'm 40 and though I find some woman younger than 30 to be attractive, I don't think I would date anyone that young.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Squeakr said:


> I have read many posts on here and always wonder why one of the big reasons given for getting out a bad marriage is to find someone younger and more attractive to spend your new life with. Why are we not suggesting that the people find a more suitable mate that shares their values, morals, beliefs, and views for a marriage and the future, instead of just casing it on age and looks (all of which will change, it is inevitable). It is always thrown out as a suggestion to find someone younger and prettier, when it should be just someone better suited to them and their lifestyle.
> 
> Not all of us are young and pretty/ handsome, so does that mean if we leave our marriage there is no one for us other than someone older and uglier that is just leaving their marriage and looking for us (the younger version of their just divorced spouse)?? :scratchhead:


They could be older and attractive. It could be stronger and better values and alignment. With this, makes someone so much happier, and they will look better too as a result.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

karole said:


> I have also seen advice wherein the men are told that their odds of finding someone younger and prettier are great, but God forbid, if you are woman over 40, might as well give up because the odds of a woman finding a good mate after 40 are nil.


Not if the guy is 50, newly single, and ugly, right (as he will be looking for younger and prettier)??? :rofl:


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## x598 (Nov 14, 2012)

younger can also mean no children or issues from a broken relationship. 

if i was to meet a woman who was single at 40 and never married i would wonder right away how someone could go through half there life and not meet anyone they would be compatible with. basically a big red flag to me that the person has issues.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Racer said:


> There might also be another factor at play. Remember wayward redflag behavior changes? Grooming, wardrobe, diets, getting fit, etc. That’s what people who are trying to actively date do. People in stable marriages sort of don’t ‘stack the deck’ like that and tend to ‘let themselves go’ a bit more. So generally, dating people are going to be ‘more attractive’ as they are actively trying attract.


This line of thinking is caustic to a healthy marriage. But it's much easier said to "not do that" than to actually "not do that". I am on a journey myself to reclaim a better me. I've let myself go and ballooned up to the 260s lbs. In order to help myself be a better person and marriage partner, I have been striving hard to whip myself back into shape. I'm proud to say that I'm down to 222 lbs. I still have a ways to go, but I'm getting there.

But truthfully, the OP is right and that it doesn't have to be a younger and prettier "upgrade" to replace a WS. There are too many jaded BS's that project their stories into other people's situations and - IMHO - try to live vicariously through a new BS.


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## Lovemytruck (Jul 3, 2012)

badcompany said:


> I would think the younger age part comes from availability of a good "replacement" sadly. Figure in most cases that one person that is a product of divorce has a problem of some sort...cheating...drugs...alcoholic....asexual....personality disorder...etc etc. Then you've got the older ones that never married.....likely a large percentage of them have an issue. All that leaves is younger partners, the good 1/2 of divorcees, and the rare older person that has a sheltered life or profession and just hasn't found their right match yet. It doesn't paint a good picture for the "older" on the market does it?
> I'm sorry to say, but at least *in my locale there is way to much me-me-me selfishness in the middle aged women *"on the market". A lot of them should just advertise use of their holes in trade for a Mercedes and exotic travel destinations and put the façade aside.


Good observation. I think that your arguement has some validity.

As a culture we tend to value men for money, and women for beauty. Women want wealth, and men want young attractive women for sex.

The me-me-me attitude is a result of entitlement mentality that permeates society. It probably was cultured in many people since childhood. A product of a wealthy generation.

The me-me-me stuff seems to lessen as we age, a generality for sure. Standards are lowered. Expectations become more realistic. The idea of marrying for sex, or money take a back seat to other needs. At least that is my hope.

Some people realize that being married is not their goal. Some people realize that marriage is not a land of unicorns and rainbows. 

Some people realize that marriage requires hard work, dedication, and sacrifice. Hopefully these people will find each other and enjoy a great life together.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

Since there are a handful of men who "encourage" others this way and a number of BHs who either tell themselves they will find a younger, more attractive woman or brag when they do, it smacks of revenge and a certain amount of anger toward women who dare leave them.

Another gripe I have is that some men call any OW who is younger than the BS a "young hottie". 

Both of these things are very disrespectful.

Women as objects.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## calmwinds (Dec 10, 2012)

Hmmm...I can't think I would want to go out with a man who has yet to go through his MLC. Never again. If I were to become single, I would not look for a serious relationship with a younger man. Unless it was for "medicinal purposes only"

As for the POSOW, she outweighs me by at least fifty pounds even though she is a lot younger. I'm almost certain she couldn't touch her ankles, much less put them wherever the situation required


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## Vanguard (Jul 27, 2011)

My girlfriend is both more attractive and more moral. Why don't we advocate both?


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Another thing that sometimes happens after a long marriage, is that your "partner value" has increased dramatically from your younger years. I was very smart but very geeky back then, and had matured and developed greatly by the time I divorced (fitness, appearance, personality, confidence, career, etc.). I was able to attract women who were similar, with whom I'd probably have had no chance when younger.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Vanguard said:


> My girlfriend is both more attractive and more moral. Why don't we advocate both?


Just advocate that you find someone who truly connects with you and you to him/her. Find someone that shares your ideals, dreams and vision of the future. Find someone you can truly love for the rest of your life. Don't settle for a substitute of what you really want. But at the same time, don't put unnecessary limitations on it either. If you find the woman of your dreams, for example, but she's not younger than your wife that betrayed you, it would be stupid to cast her aside in favor of trying to stick your wife in the eye with someone else just because she's younger.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

I would say this isn't always the case.

My uncle cheated on his beautiful first wife. To this day she's still a beautiful woman. 

He married the OW. It wasn't a trade up at all. OK figure, but total butterface. Nasty disposition to go with it. His punishment is spending another 30 years with her as they started a business together and now can't separate without devastating the business.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Squeakr said:


> I have read many posts on here and always wonder why one of the big reasons given for getting out a bad marriage is to find someone younger and more attractive to spend your new life with. Why are we not suggesting that the people find a more suitable mate that shares their values, morals, beliefs, and views for a marriage and the future, instead of just casing it on age and looks (all of which will change, it is inevitable).


In modern Western culture, marriage is no longer arranged by our parents to promote familial alliances, protect property, etc., it's about "romantic love", i.e. animal sexual attraction. Men and women hit the peaks of their sexual attractiveness at different ages, so a single woman of thirty will be very attracted to an older man who is not a total bum, provided he maintains a correct balance of physique and wallet. The better the physique, the less he needs the wallet. This being the case, there is no reason for BH of 45 to remain with an unrepentant WW of 45. He can have his choice from a wide range of attractive and younger (biologically speaking, this is essentially redundant) women, including some who share his "values, morals, beliefs, and views of marriage and the future..."



Squeakr said:


> It is always thrown out as a suggestion to find someone younger and prettier, when it should be just someone better suited to them and their lifestyle.


Given two women equally suited to the BH with regard to his "lifestyle," as you put it, one being the spitting image of 30 year old version of Sophia Loren in appearance and the other being a clone of the 60 year old version of Brigitte Bardot, which would you pick? Photos provided to assist your choice:

Sophia









Brigitte (on the right)











Squeakr said:


> Not all of us are young and pretty/ handsome, so does that mean if we leave our marriage there is no one for us other than someone older and uglier that is just leaving their marriage and looking for us (the younger version of their just divorced spouse)?? :scratchhead:


No, it does not mean that. It means that a BH over age 30, can almost always find a woman who is more sexually attractive than his WW.


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## Whenwillitend (Jul 25, 2012)

Wife went for older ,uglier and less successful. Go figure.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Squeakr said:


> I have read many posts on here and always wonder why one of the big reasons given for getting out a bad marriage is to find someone younger and more attractive to spend your new life with. Why are we not suggesting that the people find a more suitable mate that shares their values, morals, beliefs, and views for a marriage and the future, instead of just casing it on age and looks (all of which will change, it is inevitable). It is always thrown out as a suggestion to find someone younger and prettier, when it should be just someone better suited to them and their lifestyle.
> 
> Not all of us are young and pretty/ handsome, so does that mean if we leave our marriage there is no one for us other than someone older and uglier that is just leaving their marriage and looking for us (the younger version of their just divorced spouse)?? :scratchhead:


My AP partner (revenge affair) was older than my wife and certainly nowhere near as pretty as my wife.


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## calmwinds (Dec 10, 2012)

:rofl:Brigitte on the right


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Squeakr said:


> I saw it posted 3 times just today, which is why I put this on here. I agree with the others that it should be someone better suited for you and not all about looks, now if that happens as well, then all the better. :smthumbup:


Nobody said it was all about looks. If a man is going to take the colossal risk of marriage, he'd better have an ironclad prenup in place if his one and only criterion is looks.

This guy has a prenup:


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> Nobody said it was all about looks. If a man is going to take the colossal risk of marriage, he'd better have an ironclad prenup in place if his one and only criterion is looks.
> 
> This guy has a prenup:


Of course he does. Should he get divorced, his wig gets everything.:rofl:


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

LonelyinLove said:


> You noticed that too......
> 
> I cannot tell you the number of people I know that have been dumped by their spouse for the "younger and prettier" version...
> 
> My office is full of them.


BHs don't dump their spouses, they've already been dumped by their WWs.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

badcompany said:


> I would think the younger age part comes from availability of a good "replacement" sadly. Figure in most cases that one person that is a product of divorce has a problem of some sort...cheating...drugs...alcoholic....asexual....personality disorder...etc etc. Then you've got the older ones that never married.....likely a large percentage of them have an issue. All that leaves is younger partners, the good 1/2 of divorcees, and the rare older person that has a sheltered life or profession and just hasn't found their right match yet. It doesn't paint a good picture for the "older" on the market does it?
> I'm sorry to say, but at least in my locale there is way to much me-me-me selfishness in the middle aged women "on the market". A lot of them should just advertise use of their holes in trade for a Mercedes and exotic travel destinations and put the façade aside.


One of my clients is about 62, divorced a couple of years back. He regularly squires 40 year olds around. He's a high-flyer socially, but doesn't have any real money, nor does he claim to have any. It's just assumed, due to his high social status. They wonder why he drives a Jeep Cherokee and not a new Bentley. When they figure it out, they're gone and he just calls out, "Next!"


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## lisab0105 (Oct 26, 2011)

Oh yes, the ego boost advice I have seen so many times here from guy to guy..."now go get yourself someone hotter and 10 years younger." Always makes me roll my eyes. 

I'm naturally biased though because my guy cheated on me with someone 10 years younger, no kids and the complete opposite physical profile as me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

larry.gray said:


> I would say this isn't always the case.
> 
> My uncle cheated on his beautiful first wife. To this day she's still a beautiful woman.
> 
> He married the OW. It wasn't a trade up at all. OK figure, but total butterface. Nasty disposition to go with it. His punishment is spending another 30 years with her as they started a business together and now can't separate without devastating the business.


Perhaps she was amazingly good in the sack. I know... A nasty disposition could override that, making it an impossibility.


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## badcompany (Aug 4, 2010)

You have nothing to worry about Lisa


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## calmwinds (Dec 10, 2012)

treyvion said:


> Perhaps she was amazingly good in the sack. I know... A nasty disposition could override that, making it an impossibility.


Don't know how a WS gets to the sack when they have to overlook the back bacon AND the disposition


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

calmwinds said:


> Don't know how a WS gets to the sack when they have to overlook the back bacon AND the disposition


Well back backon notwithstanding, a nasty disposition makes it possible that this "not very attractive" person could also be a "power" LD type. One who views it as gaining a goal across the touchdown line, or a basket in basketball... And simply will not allow it as long as they are breathing and conscious.

"If you don't like it, leave"


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

clipclop2 said:


> Since there are a handful of men who "encourage" others this way and a number of BHs who either tell themselves they will find a younger, more attractive woman or brag when they do, it smacks of revenge and a certain amount of anger toward women who dare leave them.


• Of all divorced people aged 25 and over, 55% of
men and 44% of women have remarried

• The remarriage rate for women ages 45 to 64 is
half the rate for similarly aged men

Here's a fine article on the data.



clipclop2 said:


> Another gripe I have is that some men call any OW who is younger than the BS a "young hottie".


By nature, men are going to be more attracted to women in the child bearing age range over those who are post-menopausal, but that doesn't automatically make the younger woman a "hottie." 




clipclop2 said:


> Both of these things are very disrespectful.


Either they are facts or they are not facts. I've never heard of "disrespectful facts."



clipclop2 said:


> Women as objects.


Huh?


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

When you get to be my age, a 55 year old woman is a young chick. My wife is 9 years younger than me now and was 9 years younger than me when I married her 19 years ago.
This is my take, and it will probably go over like an insect in a punch bowl, but a man past 30 should typically marry a younger woman. Few things are sadder than seeing a once hot "cougar" ditched by her much younger husband when he looks hard into the future and realizes what he's going to be waking up with.


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## greenfern (Oct 20, 2012)

When my current SO was first divorced, he was looking for a younger hotter woman (someone around late 20s to his early 40s). Mostly he said because he wanted someone more attractive than his x & also he thought women his age were all 'bitter'. When he met me he realized that not all women his age were the same. 

We occasionally run into a 28 yr old that he dated and he just shakes his head thinking about what would have happened if he had continued in that relationship.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

Squeakr said:


> I have read many posts on here and always wonder why one of the big reasons given for getting out a bad marriage is to find someone younger and more attractive to spend your new life with. Why are we not suggesting that the people find a more suitable mate that shares their values, morals, beliefs, and views for a marriage and the future, instead of just casing it on age and looks (all of which will change, it is inevitable). It is always thrown out as a suggestion to find someone younger and prettier, when it should be just someone better suited to them and their lifestyle.
> 
> Not all of us are young and pretty/ handsome, so does that mean if we leave our marriage there is no one for us other than someone older and uglier that is just leaving their marriage and looking for us (the younger version of their just divorced spouse)?? :scratchhead:


That's what I like about high school girls - YouTube

It's the way it has always been! Youth is addictive! I know guys that are 40-50 and see a hot 25yr old and are like "Dammnnnn would I tear that up!" and I know others that say "I couldn't it would feel like my daughter!"

Everyone is different.......often people affair down. Or just affair due to opportunity.

I would be like the guy/girl you describe. If I were to risk it all it would have to be with someone younger that felt unattainable.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

I find it funny where these discussions and responses have gone with this. I was originally meaning with my post that it seems that it is always said the next one after the D should be younger and prettier. It has evolved into the A side of things. This evolution is okay, but was not where I was going with this, as in why is it always that the AP must be younger and prettier, but more why is it that we always seem to recommend the next partner/ spouse after a D should be younger and prettier. I can see the desire part of it, but shouldn't we really be looking for compatibility first and if looks and age come along for the ride, then it is a slam dunk trifecta!


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> Of course he does. Should he get divorced, his wig gets everything.:rofl:


What the heck is that thing? Is it a weave or just a real patchy hair plug job?


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

Looks like a mullet wig. Business in the front.....Party in the back!!


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

lisab0105 said:


> Oh yes, the ego boost advice I have seen so many times here from guy to guy..."now go get yourself someone hotter and 10 years younger." Always makes me roll my eyes.
> 
> I'm naturally biased though because my guy cheated on me with someone 10 years younger, no kids and the complete opposite physical profile as me.


Again, this "younger and hotter" stuff is advice that is being given to BHs. Nobody is telling anyone to trade in a faithful wife on a newer model.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

greenfern said:


> When my current SO was first divorced, he was looking for a younger hotter woman (someone around late 20s to his early 40s). Mostly he said because he wanted someone more attractive than his x & also he thought women his age were all 'bitter'. When he met me he realized that not all women his age were the same.
> 
> We occasionally run into a 28 yr old that he dated and he just shakes his head thinking about what would have happened if he had continued in that relationship.


Yeah, but you're still more attractive than his ex.


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## calmwinds (Dec 10, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> What the heck is that thing? Is it a weave or just a real patchy hair plug job?


Looks like Bieber in about 50 years!


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

One might think he has found Miss Perfect, with the disposition of a saint. Two years later, she could be the biggest witch on earth. Might as well find one that aint hard to look at. A hot witch is a little easier to tolerate than an ugly one. It's like the sugar coating around a really bitter pill. If it's packaged right, a man can swallow just about anything.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Squeakr said:


> I find it funny where these discussions and responses have gone with this. I was originally meaning with my post that it seems that it is always said the next one after the D should be younger and prettier. It has evolved into the A side of things. This evolution is okay, but was not where I was going with this, as in why is it always that the AP must be younger and prettier, but more why is it that we always seem to recommend the next partner/ spouse after a D should be younger and prettier. I can see the desire part of it, but shouldn't we really be looking for compatibility first and if looks and age come along for the ride, then it is a slam dunk trifecta!


Exactly. The original question was about advice to BHs to go younger and hotter. Which would you pick, Brigitte or Sophia?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> What the heck is that thing? Is it a weave or just a real patchy hair plug job?


It's actually one of these


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

My "women as objects" comment is that in these cases, the women are used as objects to get back at the ex-, are used to measure a man's value or at least bolster it rather than being considered as full-fledged human beings.

The same ideas also support why so many men lose all sense of morality and cheat or get very close to cheating when a younger woman pays them any attention.

If you encourage a man to find a younger mate after being cheated on, it hardly disuades men from cheating since it is so clearly a positive thing to be with someone younger.

If a man encourages this I automatically assume he secretly dreams of dumping his wretched, aging wife for a 20-something.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lisab0105 (Oct 26, 2011)

Machiavelli said:


> Exactly. The original question was about advice to BHs to go younger and hotter. Which would you pick, Brigitte or Sophia?


But that's why I roll my eyes, because how on earth do you guys think it makes woman feel when we see guys on TAM saying that a 25 year old female is more valuable to the ego than a 35 year old female? If that's the case and I am ever single again, I am doomed lol.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> It's actually one of these


No, it's stringier than that. The ferret would be an improvement.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

clipclop2 said:


> My "women as objects" comment is that in these cases, the women are used as objects to get back at the ex-, are used to measure a man's value or at least bolster it rather than being considered as full-fledged human beings.


By the time the typical BH is ready to line up new women, he's usually far beyond caring anything about the STBXWW's reactions to his new women. A faithful family oriented BH who is gainfully employed and not obese is almost a universal object of attraction for single women.



clipclop2 said:


> The same ideas also support why so many men lose all sense of morality and cheat or get very close to cheating when a younger woman pays them any attention.


How do you define "cheating?" What do you mean by "get very close to cheating?" Regardless, men are attracted to beautiful women; always have been and always will be. But, most men are attracted to most women, especially young ones. When I hit 30 I was doing double takes on 20 year old women who I would have considered marginally unattractive when I was 20. When I realized I was doing it, I understood immediately that it had to be a biologically triggered urge to seek younger eggs and the healthier offspring that would result.

The average guy peaking in sex rank at 32-35 has never had attention from women the way he'll get it at that time. It's much like the fat girl who gets a gastric bypass and ends up divorced in 2 years (80% of them do) because they don't know how to handle the attention from hotter people. It's all Mother Nature and it's all very predictable.



clipclop2 said:


> If you encourage a man to find a younger mate after being cheated on, it hardly disuades men from cheating since it is so clearly a positive thing to be with someone younger.


That's quite a stretch there. In most cases the BH should be moving on from the WW, certain situations with kids being the exception, not planning a revenge affair.



clipclop2 said:


> If a man encourages this I automatically assume he secretly dreams of dumping his wretched, aging wife for a 20-something.


Just yesterday at lunch, with one of our single adult sons at the table with us, my still very desirable 50+ wife asked me how young I would go with her replacement should she pass on. I told her no younger than 30.


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## greenfern (Oct 20, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> Exactly. The original question was about advice to BHs to go younger and hotter. Which would you pick, Brigitte or Sophia?


I don't really understand this - genuinely! They both look beautiful. If I was older I would pick Brigitte and if I was younger I would pick Sophia (if I was a man that is!). I know as a 40 yr old woman I would never pick say Ryan Gosling over George Clooney! (I actually have no idea how old Ryan Gosling is but he looks young! I was going to say Justin Beiber because my daughter is a "fan" but I just couldn't go there even as a joke)


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

lisab0105 said:


> But that's why I roll my eyes, because how on earth do you guys think it makes woman feel when we see guys on TAM saying that a 25 year old female is more valuable to the ego than a 35 year old female? If that's the case and I am ever single again, I am doomed lol.


Not at all, unless you don't like 50 year old guys.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

greenfern said:


> I don't really understand this - genuinely! They both look beautiful. If I was older I would pick Brigitte and if I was younger I would pick Sophia (if I was a man that is!). I know as a 40 yr old woman I would never pick say Ryan Gosling over George Clooney! (I actually have no idea how old Ryan Gosling is but he looks young! I was going to say Justin Beiber because my daughter is a "fan" but I just couldn't go there even as a joke)


The question was what would be the choice of a 45 year old BH choosing up or down 15 years in either direction. I know of no sexually capable heterosexual male who would go for the 60 yr old Brigitte over the 30 yr old Sophia. The inherent male reproductive drive will make that choice, because it's hardwired. Brigitte in the photo is clearly not capable of reproducing, as almost 100% of age 50+ women are infertile. Many males of very advanced age can still reproduce, even if the quality of that sperm may be dubious. This is just the way of Mother Nature.


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## greenfern (Oct 20, 2012)

Oh I see, ok. Yes I can understand a 45 yr old man would clearly go 15 yrs younger rather than 15 yrs older. I don't know if I agree with the nature thing, I personally believe we have evolved a bit so that our attractions & desires are not just biological. I mean I know a lot of 45 yr old men who *really* don't want more kids and I think their desire for a younger woman is not because she is a good candidate for planting seed but because she has firmer younger skin, perkier boobs, etc.

But what my SO found is that there are a lot of advantages to the woman of similar age, and I bet there are a lot of TAM men who would agree that the confidence & sexiness of a 38 yr old woman outweighs the timidity and childishness of an 18 yr old. Not saying of course that all 38 yr old women are confident nor are all 18 yr old women timid or childish!


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Machiavelli said:


> The question was what would be the choice of a 45 year old BH choosing up or down 15 years in either direction. I know of no sexually capable heterosexual male who would go for the 60 yr old Brigitte over the 30 yr old Sophia. The inherent male reproductive drive will make that choice, because it's hardwired. Brigitte in the photo is clearly not capable of reproducing, as almost 100% of age 50+ women are infertile. Many males of very advanced age can still reproduce, even if the quality of that sperm may be dubious. This is just the way of Mother Nature.


If Bridget was wealthy and Sophia financially dependent some would choose bridgette.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

treyvion said:


> If Bridget was wealthy and Sophia financially dependent some would choose bridgette.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yes, there will always be gamma lambda ding dongs.  And don't forget the omega males.


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## lisab0105 (Oct 26, 2011)

Machiavelli said:


> Not at all, unless you don't like 50 year old guys.


That's so sad.


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## Aerith (May 17, 2013)

Younger and more attractive replacement doesn't not automatically guarantee better relationship or better marriage... (or even better sex...)

It might trigger the ex jealousy though as well as boost self-esteem... temporarily...


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

treyvion said:


> If Bridget was wealthy and Sophia financially dependent some would choose bridgette.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Or if Sophia was a b1tch and Bridget was completely compatible, I might choose the latter. It's not ALL about youth and fertility - it may be a hardwired biological response, but I have a working brain too that can override it.


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## Vanguard (Jul 27, 2011)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Just advocate that you find someone who truly connects with you and you to him/her. Find someone that shares your ideals, dreams and vision of the future. Find someone you can truly love for the rest of your life. Don't settle for a substitute of what you really want. But at the same time, don't put unnecessary limitations on it either. If you find the woman of your dreams, for example, but she's not younger than your wife that betrayed you, it would be stupid to cast her aside in favor of trying to stick your wife in the eye with someone else just because she's younger.


I like your style, dude. 

I can honestly say I've never made any kind of comparisons, good or bad (can there be a good comparison? I mean, it's really disrespectful to my gf) , between my ex and my girlfriend. When I met her I had no intentions of being with anyone. I was annoyed with women in general. I was completely struck by this girl. As it happens, she is prettier, younger, smarter and more financially successful than my ex, but I didn't have a checklist- I just got lucky.


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## Vanguard (Jul 27, 2011)

clipclop2 said:


> My "women as objects" comment is that in these cases, the women are used as objects to get back at the ex-, are used to measure a man's value or at least bolster it rather than being considered as full-fledged human beings.
> 
> The same ideas also support why so many men lose all sense of morality and cheat or get very close to cheating when a younger woman pays them any attention.
> 
> ...


This is all kinds of wrong.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

lisab0105 said:


> That's so sad.


Yeah, but if you're willing to work on your physique and can be flexible about not getting guys quite as hot or as smooth as you were pulling at age 20, you can get somebody your age. You just have to adjust your expectations. Did you see this chart?


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

greenfern said:


> Oh I see, ok. Yes I can understand a 45 yr old man would clearly go 15 yrs younger rather than 15 yrs older. I don't know if I agree with the nature thing, I personally believe we have evolved a bit so that our attractions & desires are not just biological.


Well, people who espouse "evolution" will tell you that evolution doesn't go any farther than what is good for reproduction, since any genetic mutations occurring after the fertile years are not going to be transferred on to future generations. "Evolution" is strictly concerned with promoting propagation of one's genetic material in as many copies as possible after merging, hopefully, with the best opposite sex genetic material available. Attraction and desire is all biological or it becomes a genetic dead end. 



greenfern said:


> I mean I know a lot of 45 yr old men who *really* don't want more kids


Then their genetic line will end with their deaths.



greenfern said:


> and I think their desire for a younger woman is not because she is a good candidate for planting seed but because she has firmer younger skin, perkier boobs, etc.


"firmer younger skin, perkier boobs, etc." are all outward indicators of fertility.



greenfern said:


> But what my SO found is that there are a lot of advantages to the woman of similar age, and I bet there are a lot of TAM men who would agree that the confidence & sexiness of a 38 yr old woman outweighs the timidity and childishness of an 18 yr old. Not saying of course that all 38 yr old women are confident nor are all 18 yr old women timid or childish!


Many 38 year old women are still capable of reproducing.


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## awake1 (Jan 29, 2013)

Aside from what Machiavelli's been saying (and I agree with most of it), it simply boils down to sexual dynamics, social dynamics, and common sense. 

A man at 20 would probably date anyone in the 18-22 age range. (we're talking average generic numbers. Yes there's outliers.) 

However, a guy at 30 would probably date anyone from 20ish to 35ish. 

This means that a 30 year old woman is going to compete with not only women her own age, but also those younger and a little older. 

So when a BH comes here who's lets say 35, and someone says "go get younger hotter" what they're saying is his choices, and the competition for him is far higher. 

What is lost in all this is that one male is simply more desired than he used to be due to the increased competition for him from the larger number of available women. 

I think guys dating younger women (and while women do it too, its less common) is partly social, partly biological. Regardless of the reason, it's a reality.


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## Vanguard (Jul 27, 2011)

I don't think anyone has seriously tried to convey the notion that younger necessitates better. I'm not tall dark and handsome-- I'm tall, fair skinned with strawberry blonde hair and green eyes. If I were a whiner I'd complain about all the girls swooning over the cliché male archetype. Obviously a young, beautiful female is optimum for a betrayed husband. But I don't think there's a BH here who would be against any woman if she felt right
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## greenfern (Oct 20, 2012)

Vanguard said:


> I don't think anyone has seriously tried to convey the notion that younger necessitates better. I'm not tall dark and handsome-- I'm tall, fair skinned with strawberry blonde hair and green eyes. If I were a whiner I'd complain about all the girls swooning over the cliché male archetype. Obviously a young, beautiful female is optimum for a betrayed husband. But I don't think there's a BH here who would be against any woman if she felt right
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I think you just verified the notion that younger necessitates better: young,beautiful = optimum. 

I think its just that you don't really get the same stereotypical recommendation for a BW...what would it be? Go get yourself a 25 yr old with 6 pack abs who will treat you like a queen!


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## MrMathias (Nov 19, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> Given two women equally suited to the BH with regard to his "lifestyle," as you put it, one being the spitting image of 30 year old version of Sophia Loren in appearance and the other being a clone of the 60 year old version of Brigitte Bardot, which would you pick? Photos provided to assist your choice:
> 
> Sophia
> 
> ...


I believe that you provided images that are biased in support your argument; I think you need to find a solitary lingerie version for both, or an un-sexy talking-to-a-pontiff picture for both. 

That said, Machiavelli, I agree with your viewpoints about a hundred percent.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

MrMathias said:


> I believe that you provided images that are biased in support your argument; I think you need to find a solitary lingerie version for both, or an un-sexy talking-to-a-pontiff picture for both.
> 
> That said, Machiavelli, I agree with your viewpoints about a hundred percent.


What? Would I stack the deck? I couldn't find any of the age 60 Brigitte in lingerie. That may be an interesting fact in itself.


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## Gruff (Feb 27, 2012)

Because all the love bull**** is a ruse for pulling some young ass.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

Only going by the first page, but this is sort of gender biased.

Women (in general) seek someone stable who can provide all the things that Squeakr seems to value. They will be unlikely to find that in a younger male, though it's possible. So a female seeking a mate will go for her age bracket.

Men, as the supposed providers (this economy... ) put that farther down on their list. We've discussed this quite a bit on other threads and forums. Sexual attraction is key. So, if one MUST shop for another spouse, why NOT seek someone younger and prettier? Doesn't mean you will find her. After all, not all men are Adonis either...nor are they Daddy Warbucks...BUT...wanna bet which demographic will see whatever Larry Loveless has as better than her current circumstances? A younger lady seeking a 'mature, stable, better resourced man' who has LTR experience.

Also there is a demographic thing. The good ones are all married...or just out of a divorce. Having just come out of the pain of divorce, most men will veer away from that pain and drama, while perhaps most women may see it as a chance of bonding.

But what the hell do I know?


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

Squeakr said:


> Not if the guy is 50, newly single, and ugly, right (as he will be looking for younger and prettier)??? :rofl:


As long as you are younger and prettier than he is, you're golden. :smthumbup:


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

greenfern said:


> Oh I see, ok. Yes I can understand a 45 yr old man would clearly go 15 yrs younger rather than 15 yrs older. I don't know if I agree with the nature thing, I personally believe we have evolved a bit so that our attractions & desires are not just biological. I mean I know a lot of 45 yr old men who *really* don't want more kids and I think their desire for a younger woman is not because she is a good candidate for planting seed but because she has firmer younger skin, perkier boobs, etc.
> 
> But what my SO found is that there are a lot of advantages to the woman of similar age, and I bet there are a lot of TAM men who would agree that the confidence & sexiness of a 38 yr old woman outweighs the timidity and childishness of an 18 yr old. Not saying of course that all 38 yr old women are confident nor are all 18 yr old women timid or childish!


I tend to agree.

While, by nature, I would seek a younger woman if I was single, I would restrict myself to someone around 10 or so years younger than myself because otherwise...how do you relate to this person?

I would also go up in age a few years, but that is predicated upon her being a couple points above me sex rank wise. I would be with a slightly older woman, but she'd have to be pretty hot for my demographic.

If that makes me shallow, I'm shallow. But while many married men would take quite a lot about character to their wives and women friends, show me any trend where they marry someone 10 years older in any appreciable numbers.


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## camillaj (Aug 3, 2013)

Squeakr said:


> I have read many posts on here and always wonder why one of the big reasons given for getting out a bad marriage is to find someone younger and more attractive to spend your new life with. Why are we not suggesting that the people find a more suitable mate that shares their values, morals, beliefs, and views for a marriage and the future, instead of just casing it on age and looks (all of which will change, it is inevitable). It is always thrown out as a suggestion to find someone younger and prettier, when it should be just someone better suited to them and their lifestyle.
> 
> Not all of us are young and pretty/ handsome, so does that mean if we leave our marriage there is no one for us other than someone older and uglier that is just leaving their marriage and looking for us (the younger version of their just divorced spouse)?? :scratchhead:


This advice comes mainly from the men in here telling to get younger woman than their wife. Actually I've not seen a woman suggest this other than myself. My first post had this advice but it was meant for a woman. Meaning she should look for a younger man. Guess what? My post was deleted by a mod.


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## greenfern (Oct 20, 2012)

A typical quote from another thread:

"the next Mrs Soca has to be smarter, prettier and at least 6-8 years younger than ex"

This is I think what the OP is talking about. We hear this constantly on TAM and I guess its just that the average BW just sees herself as the 'ex' that the older (same age!) ex wife that is discarded for the newer younger model. Understood that this advice is given to the BH but as an ex-wife (not a betrayed one, but still) I think I feel upset at the advice given to my xh & all other xh that younger=better.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

greenfern said:


> A typical quote from another thread:
> 
> "the next Mrs Soca has to be smarter, prettier and at least 6-8 years younger than ex"
> 
> This is I think what the OP is talking about. We hear this constantly on TAM and I guess its just that the average BW just sees herself as the 'ex' that the older (same age!) ex wife that is discarded for the newer younger model. Understood that this advice is given to the BH but as an ex-wife (not a betrayed one, but still) I think I feel upset at the advice given to my xh & all other xh that younger=better.


Yep, that is exactly what I was getting at. It always seems that the ideal and recommendation is to get a younger and prettier version. I think that it should be more compatible, whatever the appearance and age (and if the 2 other suggestions happen to coincide and exist as well, then bonus).


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

My WH affaired down. Big time. Two of his ONSs were at least 10 years older, as were several of the women he was "talking to." And most of them had little to recommend them in the looks department. Or, obviously, from a morals perspective. 

However, now that he's approaching single (divorce isn't yet final) he's trolling for younger hotter women. The problem is that he doesn't seem to be catching them. The few women in his chosen demographic who do seem initially interested tend to be very flirtatious when they think he's wealthy, but don't actually want to sleep with him - particularly when they find out he's not actually rich. My husband is finding the dating scene to be littered with hot young women who want to have sex with either hot young men or older rich guys. Sadly, he is neither.

As it turns out his wife was willing to overlook a lot of things that Ms. Twenty-Something is not. Perhaps if he'd kept it in his pants when he had a good thing going with me, he wouldn't be going without quite so often now. 

I'm not particularly bitter, as betrayed spouses go, but I will admit the fact that he was _so_ sure when I left him that he'd be diving into a pool of endless sex with endless numbers of hot young women and has fallen on his face, well....it sort of makes me smile a little. 

Me? When I do start dating again, I'll be looking for a good man who has good boundaries, preferably somewhere around my own age.


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## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

Not all of us. I just couldn't stand the thought of someone younger in my life like that. I had one of those! It didnt work out so well. The wonderful woman in my life now, is almost the same age as me. 50. I am a very happy man.


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## pollywog (May 30, 2013)

My WS hooked up with someone a year younger than he is and she is not all that attractive. She does have a good personality (so he says) and is into fulfilling his every fantasy, even sending vids of herself to prove it.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Rowan said:


> My WH affaired down. Big time. Two of his ONSs were at least 10 years older, as were several of the women he was "talking to." And most of them had little to recommend them in the looks department. Or, obviously, from a morals perspective.
> 
> However, now that he's approaching single (divorce isn't yet final) he's trolling for younger hotter women. The problem is that he doesn't seem to be catching them. The few women in his chosen demographic who do seem initially interested tend to be very flirtatious when they think he's wealthy, but don't actually want to sleep with him - particularly when they find out he's not actually rich. My husband is finding the dating scene to be littered with hot young women who want to have sex with either hot young men or older rich guys. Sadly, he is neither.
> 
> ...


I would think this is a good cautionary tale for men.

My experience, yes, my exH remarried someone not only younger than myself (I am 5 years older than he) but also younger than he is.

As for myself, I am now engaged to someone 10 years younger than myself. I met him as he was tailing off a relationship with a later 20 something who was playing the current games of the day. that is, I treat you as a friend while I expect you to treat me like a gf. and when I see my good thing threatened, I will do whatever I can to make it difficult for you to date.

A couple of things to note. While she was 29, she was disappointed that my fiance and the other guy she moved onto were 40 years old. And also that she was bummed that she was not getting more attention from other men..... something i read in the e-mails between them. It could be all that extra weight that she was carrying around.

Another example..... my older brother's first wife was younger than I ..... but then he moved on to his second wife who is 10 years older than he.

Are men really overwhelmingly snagging younger, desireable woman?


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## ne9907 (Jul 17, 2013)

Squeakr said:


> I have read many posts on here and always wonder why one of the big reasons given for getting out a bad marriage is to find someone younger and more attractive to spend your new life with. Why are we not suggesting that the people find a more suitable mate that shares their values, morals, beliefs, and views for a marriage and the future, instead of just casing it on age and looks (all of which will change, it is inevitable). It is always thrown out as a suggestion to find someone younger and prettier, when it should be just someone better suited to them and their lifestyle.
> 
> Not all of us are young and pretty/ handsome, so does that mean if we leave our marriage there is no one for us other than someone older and uglier that is just leaving their marriage and looking for us (the younger version of their just divorced spouse)?? :scratchhead:


My ex's new woman is the same age as I am, she is overweight, looks a lot older than our actual age, and to be perfectly honest, she is not pretty (she could not hold a candle to me).

At one point, ex did say we were so different, thus our break up. This new woman is very different from me; whereas I am quiet she is loud, I don't like drama and she thrives on it. She is a party animal, I rather go on a nature hike. 

So yes, she seems to fit his lifestyle better than I did. 
I feel so very happy to say that only a month ago, I would be devastated at the event of ex having a new woman. Now, I feel peace. I am glad he found someone, but the best is that I feel I am so much better in every aspect.

Edit: Upon our separation, ex would blabber to friends that I was at best average looking and that his next gf would be a 10..... believe me she is hardly a 5.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Another thing about the younger woman, older man paradigm, I really don't see younger women feeling as if they scored with an older man (5 years or more older) except when
1. the older man has a lot of money (relatively speaking) 
a) more than any guy she can get her own age and
b) more than any guy her own age that she can get whose potential could meet or exceed the older man in question.

I have seen discussions wit women weighing up how much a man has achieved in his advanced age compared to the achievements of a guy closer to her age. 

2. the younger woman is overweight / unattractive / lacks the social skills to maintain friendships and dating relationships of people closer to her own age.

Think Monica Lewinsky. Talk about anti- social behaviors. And for a friend she ended up with Linda Trip and for an FB, well, we know who that was...... Are any of you men here envious of BC scoring with Monica?


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## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

I don't have time to read all the replies today but it's only younger girls who are chasing after me. Only much, MUCH, younger girls who steal my phone number and text me in the middle of the night. And, it sucks, crazy trust issues now, but I know how to manipulate your crazy-ass low-self-esteem woman now.

I didn't know before.

I really didn't.

Now? I dunno anymore. Flat out ignore someone, get what you want. Some girl tells you she will break up with you if you don't stop smoking. Say, "ok." Nothing else. Twenty-four hours later you'll get bombarded with messages. Get what you want.

Why did someone my ex repeatedly call her boyfriend a *complete @sshole who I hate* get her when I didn't? Yeah women are crazy. Sure men are crazy too but I never did what she did.

Hey guess what, you could have had me 

Weird the things you learn. Gotta keep learning. Everyone is crazy.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> I don't have time to read all the replies today but it's only younger girls who are chasing after me. Only much, MUCH, younger girls who steal my phone number and text me in the middle of the night. And, it sucks, crazy trust issues now, but I know how to manipulate your crazy-ass low-self-esteem woman now.
> 
> I didn't know before.
> 
> ...


My fiance's EA claimed that her last bf told her she was good for a blowjob. Even while hanging out with my EA she was creating playlists for him. and on the night that she refused to kiss my fiance (after he closed a 3 figure bar tab for her and her friends), she accused my fiance of "bait and Switch" and that at least her last bf , "you're only good for a bj one" was honest with her.

My fiance called her "his only friend in London" until I put an end to it.

So both men and women can be crazy.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

A lot of this discussion makes more sense if you start from the biological drivers that have evolved over millions of years, and then look at social, cultural, and compatibility factors - and finally, the opportunities a person has available to them.

The optimal biological age for a woman that men of all ages will seek is around 20 years old, give or take about 5. It may not be conscious, but that's what men have evolved to find attractive: peak fertility, optimum health, longest remaining fertile years. (Even if a man does not want children, the same things are still attractive.) The maximum age younger women will usually consider on a biological basis (not factoring in wealth, fame, accomplishment, etc.) is about 50. Older men may not survive long enough to support any children they have.

Women in their fertile years will usually choose a slightly older man (optimum age difference is about 6 years), as they have had more time to prove themselves in ways that matter for reproductive success and survival/thriving of offspring. The youngest women may choose men their own age, but it's riskier as they can only evaluate potential, not accomplishment.

Even at older ages, women will still tend to pick healthier, more successful men, because they provide the best potential outcomes for existing children. Children of wealthier parents statistically have better life and reproductive success compared to their peers.

On top of all the biology, there are the compatibility factors. Picking someone who will be stable, reliable, committed, and successful will help ensure the future of the relationship and the best environment for their children. We all make the best choices we can based on the available pool of candidates, our own innate abilities to attract, and our own upbringing and all the pluses and minuses that are shaped into determining our priorities and ability to choose wisely - or not.


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## livnlearn (Mar 5, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> Yeah, but if you're willing to work on your physique and can be flexible about not getting guys quite as hot or as smooth as you were pulling at age 20, you can get somebody your age. You just have to adjust your expectations. Did you see this chart?


:lol: You are so predictable. Whenever I read your posts, 99% of which have the same theme, I wonder what it is that has made you so super insecure. and yeah, insecure...your pompousness reeks of it.


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