# What do you do with the rings?



## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

Silly question. But what did you do with your wedding rings? Mine are in a box in a closet. What should I expect my STBXW to do with hers? Should I care? I gave her a 10 year diamond Anniversary band, a 20 year diamond Anniversary band, in addition to her engagement and wedding band. I have my original wedding band, a 20 year band that replaced the original, as well as a watch my STBXW gave me on our 15th which I still wear.

I almost feel like giving her all my stuff and asking her to give back all hers.


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## Stella Moon (Nov 22, 2012)

I was thinking the same thing. I have thee most beautiful big diamond wedding ring ever...it's worth is 10 grand. The band was a designer brand not made anymore. I can't even look at it. I've admired it since the day it was picked out its that beautiful. It's exquisite. 

It's in a porcelain egg on my dresser. I can't open it. I can't look. 
The only thoughts I have is to sell it. Get it out of my life. 

As for his his was 1300 some type of medal cool lookin woven band. Designer blah blah..

I have thought of asking for that back in the divorce too...to sell it. 

I need the money and he didn't deserve it. 

The only thing I can think of is to sell it. At the jewelry store...


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## BC3 (Sep 26, 2012)

I sold my wedding band to a pawn shop for $140. My ex wife told me she went to a jeweler and is trying to sell hers...she'll get well into the 5 figures for hers, she'll come out way ahead on this as she did on every aspect of our marriage and divorce....


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## rickster (Jan 14, 2013)

We've only been seperated 3 weeks, on friday i sold all the wedding rings and bought myself a big new t.v. I didnt need the money, as i have a good job. But as a symbol of me moving on, i needed to spend that money on a treat for myself.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Love And Light (Jan 21, 2013)

Do you have children? 

If yes, then offer the ring and watch to the children. She should follow suit but you cannot obviously make her to do that. 

If no, then sell it all either to a jeweler, pawn, online, etc. Take the money and do what you want with it, go spoil yourself. 

I wouldn't worry much with what she does with her stuff, she's not your worry any longer. Keep on moving forward :smthumbup:


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

I have two daughters, but kind of feel like the rings would be worthless to pass on because of the taint. 

I'm kind of pissed about the 20th Anniversary band I gave my stbxw because that was around the time she started her EA (totally unbeknownst to me). I ordered it many months in advance (before she met the OM) and it was custom made - full diamond circle. That's when she got me a platinum wedding ring to replace my original (which come to think of it, I paid for - because my wife wasn't working at the time of our marriage).

I know it was a gift, made with love - but it bothers me that she hasn't offered to return anything which was a token of our marriage. It's not like she is ever going to wear them again.

You're right - I should just move on - in the grand scheme of things the rings are just a symbol.


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## Po12345 (Apr 28, 2011)

My wife didn't even tell me she was taking the ring in to have it appraised, I found the receipt in her car when I was backing it out of the garage to put away the christmas tree up on the garage shelves.

Then she has the audacity to accuse me of going through her stuff... it was sitting right on the seat.

Like I said in my thread, I seriously think the dishonest deceit is every bit as painful as the emotional affair that led to her "I don't want to be married, I don't love you" comment. But then again, they are one in the same for the most part.


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## mama2five (Dec 29, 2012)

My STBXH threw his in the river. So he says...the latest set of rings we got after the last false R. Been married 8yrs almost and have had 3 rings. I gave mine to my grandmother to hold.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Po12345 (Apr 28, 2011)

Wow.. just wow, I don't even know what to say about that M25. Are you filing yet or still holding out hope?


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## mama2five (Dec 29, 2012)

Nothing left to hold onto PO. Waiting on my forms from legal aide and ill be filing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Po12345 (Apr 28, 2011)

Good. I can be upset with my wife over what she is doing, but my wife has some real issues going on inside, and she is NOT genuinely mean spirited... to do some of what your husband has done, cripes... that's just cruel.


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## mama2five (Dec 29, 2012)

He could take on the role as Saten himself.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

The day I sat down with the D papers I took mine off and left it on her jewelry box. I don't want it and its an heirloom.


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## Amymarie717 (Jan 12, 2013)

Someone told me to take the center diamond and turn it into a necklace since I'll never wear it as a ring again. Not sure about the side stones. I've definitely thought about this though. And my wedding dress. And the photo albums.


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## stopandmakecoffee (Jan 2, 2013)

i gave it back to STBXH the day before i left the house.i dont need any reminder


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## old timer (Nov 23, 2012)

Mine had been bent about 20 years ago, and had not been off my finger since that time. 

I used metal snips and cut the sucker off. It's in a box somewhere. I'll eventually sell it for scrap price, but haven't seen the need yet.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## K.C. (Dec 1, 2012)

When she said she had no intention of ever working on things, I took it off and put it in the small safe we have at the family home where she had put hers.

Since she has opened to the idea of working on things, I have took it out but it is on my right hand. I won't wear it in it's proper place unless we get back together.


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

Leaning towards putting them in an envelope and mailing them back to her.

The other alternative would be to throw them on a beach somewhere and make some Old Guy with a metal detector's day.

...or I could sell them and give the money to my kids or invest it for them. That might be the best.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

I was going to throw the rings in the trash. I bought them myself since I was the breadwinner. I ended up giving the rings to my daughter. I told her to throw them away. They are not worth anything. I'm not sure if she kept them or not. All the photos of her dad went to her as well. If I come across any more, I throw the photos away. My daughter no longer lives here as she is grown and has enough photos already. My husband cashed in his old wedding ring from his ex.


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## soulpotato (Jan 22, 2013)

I've held onto mine, sometimes worn it on a necklace on my good days. I hope to put it back on my finger one day, but things are looking darker every day.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Mines sitting on the kitchen window. 
I lost my original but this ring was on my other hand and with us on the day so. She was also with me when l bought it so it was the next best thing.

Nice ring to this one so l'm thinking of just putting it back on the other hand - or not ! 
lf we don't get back l might even throw it into the ocean or something, could be bad luck to ware it again even on the other hand.


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## JustPuzzled (Dec 12, 2012)

Some years go, a very close friend divorced his wife of six years. They just did not get along and there were no kids. It turns out that she DID cheat on him but this only came out much later when the OM and OMW got divorced.

Anyway, as part of the settlement he got the engagement ring back (it is a family heirloom). He was left with the question of what to do with his wedding band.

He decided that the best thing to do was to pawn it in Las Vegas. So, on our next guys' trip to Vegas he and I walked up the strip to the seedier area where there are lots of pawn shops.

The guy at the pawn shop explained that they only pay for the actual weight in gold which was about $30. My friend said OK.

Walking back down the strip he started to wonder what to do with the money - what kind of bet to make with it. My friend had been going through a dry spell sex-wise post-divorce so I suggested that he go to the craps table and "play the field".

If you know craps, the field is not the best bet on the table (house edge is about 3%) but it seemed like the appropriate bet given the situation.

Anyway, he walked up to the table and put $30 on the field and the shooter rolled a 12. In a field bet a 12 pays triple. The croupier said, "Nice bet, sir" and gave him his original bet plus $90. We walked away from the table feeling pretty good.

A week after getting home he met an attractive woman and broke the dry spell.

I take full credit.


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## old timer (Nov 23, 2012)

As you should

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SpunkySpunky (Dec 17, 2012)

Well I wasnt wearing mine at the time because I couldn't fit them due to being pregnant, but his band and my rings were passed down to me from my grandmother. When he told me to leave I told him to give the ring back, I wasn't leaving without it, he didn't deserve to wear it.
They are over 70 years old.
I have the set in my jewelry box.


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## mjedw1 (Jan 22, 2013)

I told mine I was confused that she could be so adamant that walking away was the correct decision but here she is today a month later still wearing her rings. She told me she is already on the way to going through with plans to have them melted down and turned into a new ring. She then took them off right in front of me and I knew it was over for good. So I came home and took mine off. It's in a drawer in the bedside table, I don't want it but it was one I designed and I love the look of it.


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

mjedw1 said:


> So I came home and took mine off. It's in a drawer in the bedside table, I don't want it but it was one I designed and I love the look of it.


I know the feeling. My stbxw's original engagement ring and wedding band were custom made and shaped to fit together. Nothing too extravagant but all I could afford at that stage in my life. They meant a lot to both of us. I actually purchased my original wedding band from the same jeweller because my wife wasn't working and wasn't yet moved over here. It bugs me that her rings are probably forgotten at the bottom of some drawer. I've got mine in a box but can't bring myself to get rid of them - and still hedging on returning them to her - because she'll likely just toss them into the same drawer as her rings.


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## old timer (Nov 23, 2012)

Why on earth would you give your ring to her?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

old timer said:


> Why on earth would you give your ring to her?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Not sure - can't bring myself to sell it and a part of me wants to shame her into returning hers. I know that legally the rings are a gift. But I look at them as a symbol. On "permanent exchange" so long as the marriage is valid. And honestly (and this will sound terrible) - I am a little pissed that the 20 Anniversary diamond band I gave her (5 years ago) was just before she started her EA with the POSOM. It was not cheap and I WOULD sell it. It's tainted.

Of course, if my stbxw had any shame, we might have reconciled.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

old timer said:


> Why on earth would you give your ring to her?


I gave my ring back. It was her deceased grandfather's ring. It no longer meant anything to me, so why on earth would I keep it?


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Cedarman said:


> I know the feeling. My stbxw's original engagement ring and wedding band were custom made and shaped to fit together. Nothing too extravagant but all I could afford at that stage in my life. They meant a lot to both of us. I actually purchased my original wedding band from the same jeweller because my wife wasn't working and wasn't yet moved over here. It bugs me that her rings are probably forgotten at the bottom of some drawer. I've got mine in a box but can't bring myself to get rid of them - and still hedging on returning them to her - because she'll likely just toss them into the same drawer as her rings.



Ceder , l reckon one day she'll also look at them though and cry !


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

My ring was only worth about 30 bucks , my wifes was only 300 . We didn't have much at the time.
But her's is just the most beautiful ring.
Just very simple , wide , white gold , and a small little diamond in the middle .
but it's a one off and we got him to melt down two of her others to make it. One was her engagement ring l bought her and the diamond from that too . The shape of it gave her a rash so we zapped it and combined them.

Hate to think what she'll do with it , probly lose it . She loses everything !


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## Dreald (Aug 30, 2012)

I was married to my exW for only 14 months. I spent over $17k on her wedding and engagement ring. 

I knew it was important to her so I spent the proverbial 3 months salary on her. Neither one of us cheated but we were in constant turmoil because of her need to be always right, constant criticism of every minor detail of me and refusal to compromise and work together as a team. 

When we separated, I removed my pre-marital assets and she in turn closed our our joint checking account containing $5k (which I could show came from my pre-marital account). And yet that still wasn't enough.

I'd love if she would simply return the ring to me but she's such an entitled princess that she simply laughed at me when I suggested it. That it was "hers" and she'd rot in hell before she gave it back to me. 

And to think I waited later in life to marry such a b*tch.


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

Dreald said:


> I was married to my exW for only 14 months. I spent over $17k on her wedding and engagement ring.
> 
> I knew it was important to her so I spent the proverbial 3 months salary on her. Neither one of us cheated but we were in constant turmoil because of her need to be always right, constant criticism of every minor detail of me and refusal to compromise and work together as a team.
> 
> ...


Yeah, it's maddening. What's she going to do with it? I look at the rings as an exchange, not a gift. They're a symbol of the marriage and when the marriage ends they should be returned. But most people view them as a gift.


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## old timer (Nov 23, 2012)

I'm just glad we didn't spend a lot on ours, lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Dreald said:


> I was married to my exW for only 14 months. I spent over $17k on her wedding and engagement ring.
> 
> I knew it was important to her so I spent the proverbial 3 months salary on her. Neither one of us cheated but we were in constant turmoil because of her need to be always right, constant criticism of every minor detail of me and refusal to compromise and work together as a team.
> 
> ...



On the humorist side , sounds like you can kiss that little 17k sucker goodbye eh


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## Dreald (Aug 30, 2012)

whitehawk said:


> On the humorist side , sounds like you can kiss that little 17k sucker goodbye eh


Without a doubt. It was one of life's lessons I guess -- an expensive and emotionally draining one but I am SO thankful that we did not have children together. 

She even blamed me for her miscarriage -- two of my sperm fertilized her egg (called a partial molar pregnancy). As if somehow that was my fault.....

And she conveniently forgets how she only had $3-$500 left in her checking account every month. But now that I paid her car off, paid for her dental work, paid offer her credit card debt along with the ring, vacations and honeymoon expenses, I spent about $50k on that gold-digger. And she still wasn't happy....


I'm moving on but it still irks me to think what an entitled princess she was....but I have only myself to blame for what I spent on her, thinking it would finally make her content.


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## Dreald (Aug 30, 2012)

Cedarman said:


> Yeah, it's maddening. What's she going to do with it? I look at the rings as an exchange, not a gift. They're a symbol of the marriage and when the marriage ends they should be returned. But most people view them as a gift.


That's my take on it as well, ESPECIALLY because we were married so few months and no one cheated, etc. But then again, I thought she should at least give me half of the money I put into our joint checking account since it all came from my pre-marital funds. Did she? Nope! But it wasn't worth the legal fight to get it back so I just had to accept it and move on.


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## Drover (Jun 11, 2012)

my mom melted hers down and made a nice nrcklace for my sister.


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## rsersen (Jan 30, 2013)

Thank god we didn't spend a lot of money on each other. Mine was 30-40 bucks I believe, and her's was a couple hundred. Neither of us had a lot of money at the time, and I always figured I would upgrade hers one year as an anniversary gift.

Not sure what she'll do with hers, and I don't care. It would probably be too much trouble to pawn it for the measly offer she'd get, so I imagine she'll stash it somewhere and forget about it.

As for me, I proposed to her out on the water. On April Fools day, actually, although neither of us realized that until afterwards. We always joked when telling people the story, that I had picked that day on purpose, and she just hadn't gotten the joke yet . After her cheating and leaving, I guess the joke was on me. So this April Fools, I'll go back to that spot, and toss that ring back into the bay.


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## old timer (Nov 23, 2012)

I guess emo reactions are common regarding "retired" wedding rings. 

With scrap gold commanding record prices these days, maybe you should consider selling it and see how you feel about throwing the cold, hard cash in the water. 

Might lead you to a more practical response, lol.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Dreald said:


> Without a doubt. It was one of life's lessons I guess -- an expensive and emotionally draining one but I am SO thankful that we did not have children together.
> 
> She even blamed me for her miscarriage -- two of my sperm fertilized her egg (called a partial molar pregnancy). As if somehow that was my fault.....
> 
> ...



Youch but hey, everyone guys and girls do lots of things in love trying to help it work . Ease up on yourself what can we do after the fact you know except move on and use it hopefully I guess .
With people like that it's never their fault is it but I guess they'll find out the hard way again and again one day there's something seriously wrong with they way they do things .


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

My ex can do (maybe alraedy has done) whatever the f she wants with it. it was hers to do with what she pleased and by the time she was through with the marriage it has no value to me at all - we didn't include it at all in marital assets (ironic as it may be). i suspect she has probably sold it long ago to pay for rent.

As for my ring... one of these days I'll march into Mordor and huck it in the crack of doom, for now it's sitting on top of a high shelf somewhere.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

I inherited my Mom and Dad's wedding rings as well as her diamond solitaire engagement ring. They were married for 56 years, some of them turbulent, but the vast majority of them rather loving.

As my Dad progressed up the corporate ladder of a well-known national oil company, he went out and bought him and Mom a "new" set of wedding rings for their 40th anniversary, which was not very long prior to his actual retirement. Mom's had 6 mid-size diamonds raised above the band, each representative of the six boys in the family. Dad's had the same number of diamonds, only much smaller in a gold band.

STBXW loved my Mom's rings and expressed that she wanted to use them for our nuptuals, which being in love at the time, I absolutely had no problem in doing.

Long before the inception of the separation, she quit wearing them but has not returned them. I, conversely, still wear mine~ not so much to commemerate our marriage as the honoring of Mom and Dad's 56 wonderful years together.

I would like to get those rings of my Mom's back, but my attorney advises me that in Texas, those were conveyed as a gift and are to be treated as such~ meaning that keeping them as "her property" is strictly the call of the STBXW.

I have thought of giving her my wedding band(Dad's) so she could join them back with Mom's, but there's no guarantee that she wouldn't sell them, as yet another mechanism to inflict hurt on me.

The only thing that we can try to do is to get her to sign a contract agreeing to release those rings to either of my son's upon their needing them for their own nuptuals.

But then again, with my STBXW seemingly holding the "legal bag," along with her protected wealth, there's absolutely no assurance that I will ever get to see my Mom's rings anywhere in the near future!


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## HiRoad (Oct 22, 2012)

My stbxw gave me back her wedding ring and band worth over $10k. I have all the paper work, dont know what to do yet.

Figured id try a jewler!


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

HiRoad said:


> My stbxw gave me back her wedding ring and band worth over $10k. I have all the paper work, dont know what to do yet.
> 
> Figured id try a jewler!



Please don't throw that one in the water


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## rsersen (Jan 30, 2013)

old timer said:


> I guess emo reactions are common regarding "retired" wedding rings.
> 
> With scrap gold commanding record prices these days, maybe you should consider selling it and see how you feel about throwing the cold, hard cash in the water.
> 
> ...


It's a tungsten ring, so the resale/scrap value is pretty negligible, especially being $30 retail. If it were gold, I'd consider it.

I figure I could spend a lot of time taking pictures and listing it on ebay/craigslist, shopping around different pawn stores and jewelers, and maybe walk away with $5-$10 - or I could take one night of drinking with some friends and toss the thing into the f'n water lol.


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## old timer (Nov 23, 2012)

rsersen said:


> - or I could take one night of drinking with some friends and toss the thing into the f'n water lol.


I'm in - first round's on me. 

I'll be in NOLA for Mardi Gras Friday-Tuesday.

You anywhere close?


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