# Hmm I wonder WHO is helping him!



## finallyseewhy (May 1, 2010)

Well today has not been a easy day at all. For some reason I got the feeling to check our old checking account(I am still on the account) well there was more money then he had said....SURPRISE SURPRISE he didn't tell the truth

Well when I looked at listened to the last 10 transactions there was a check cashed to the account. I wonder who gave him the check:scratchhead: I am going to call tomorrow and so help me if this is from a ****ing women....even more so the one that surrounded all the lies I am going to LOSE IT!


----------



## finallyseewhy (May 1, 2010)

I think I might of figured it out....

I am going to go for a walk outside sitting here stewing in my own sadness is not worth the time or energy


----------



## lastinline (Jul 21, 2009)

finallyseewhy, I really think you need to keep your perspective on this one. Let's just say for the moment that your worst fears are accurate. Your husband has met another woman, and she is acutally supplying him with money. Do you know how rare that is? Even if she is giving him money, that's a whole hell of a lot better than her taking it, and that my Dear is the norm in these situations.

I'm not saying that a few hundred or even thousand dollars is a fair exchange for a spouse. I'm just saying it's unlikely this "transaction" ever occurred. 

It's hard to operate in situations like this FSW because the other half usually isn't very transparent. That's why it is so important that you stop, take a deep breath, and try to calculate the odds on your suspicions. It will help you to separate the wheat from the chaff. Ultimately though because you can't control what he does, you just have to pray on it and let it go. Anything else will drive you insane.

Yesterday, I swam in the cold waters of her mom's scorn. Why am I bad? I had the audacity to want primary custody of my children when I filed my response. Basically, if you're a guy it goes like this...if you don't want your kids your a [email protected] If you do want them you're a selfish pr/ck. 

Yep that's fair too. I would be more than happy for someone to be depositing money in her checking account other than me, preferably her employer. I always hear of people talking about amicable divorces, but what you are experiencing seems more the norm. Hang in there, and go easy on the suspicions. I know it's hard not to, but those thoughts are a cancer to your soul.

LIL


----------



## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

One thing I learned that really helped me to "get a grip" at times like these was "What's the WORST that could happen?" Let's do it for this situation. 

WHAT'S THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN? Worse than an advance from work...or some $$$ from his parents or borrowing from a 2nd mortgage? Let's say the worst is that he got a check from the Whistress -OR- didn't pay the mortgage bill this month. 

1) Got a check from the Whistress. That means that he had to go to this person who supposedly thinks he's "all that" and tell her he had no money or in some other way communicate that he needed cash. This is not going to be ingratiating to the Whistress, and no matter how charming, funny, and manipulative your hubby may be, she will only put up with paying his way for SO LONG...and thus #1 ends the affair quicker. Okay...that's not really so bad. 

2) He didn't pay the mortgage this month. So you have to speak to the bank on Monday and explain the situation, ask for that thing where you put 3 months on the end of your loan (it's like a mortgage extension) and his tricks can't make you lose your home...AND you can get a job of some kind in 3 months. Plus you can make a note of it on your personal calendar that he signed XYZ agreement and did not follow through on the agreement and put his children at risk of being homeless. A judge would not find that behavior kosher and if he continues and makes this behavior a habit, it could affect custody and child support if it comes to that.


----------



## finallyseewhy (May 1, 2010)

I feel like a ASS when you call the phone line for the bank they only give you the posted balance and not the available to it didn't show all the transactions. He is actually a lot worse off A LOT more then I thought. I was really unstable today and this was just proof of it. I just needed someone to hold me today and the person that has done it for over 11 years was not here


----------



## PreludeCkN (Jan 21, 2010)

I also checked our bank account to see what he has been spending money on and it just makes thing worse, for me. He is just going out to eat more and makes me wonder with who? And makes me feel more miserable. It seems that he is having a better time than I am. Well he did say he was happier. I also feel bad that the ONE person I would always turn to for comfort doesn't want to be with me. What a life.


----------

