# Depression destroying my marriage?



## JazzTango2Step (Apr 4, 2011)

My husband and I have known eachother for 5 years.

When I first met him, he helped me get out of a bad relationship where I was beaten often and emotionally damaged. I would have panic attacks every night but he was there, helping me through them.

Last year we were married after a 4 month split (post pardum depression hit HARD and he left). We were back together for 6 months before we wed. 2 months later he ended up cheating on me with an ex of his but has had NO contact with her ever since.

I've struggled with depression for almost my entire life, and his infidelity didn't help out any...but I was determined to make it work. I'm not medicated for my depression and so I'm moody and cranky a lot, but that really isn't "me". For the past couple months he'd been showering me with affection and it felt great...until today when he text me and said that there needed to be some serious changes, and I should start looking for another place to live.

Um...what?

I just got off the phone with him and he said that he lost his spark for me. He doesn't love me, never did. He just married me so he could see our baby all the time, and that I'm a cranky ***** who's never happy. I tried to explain to him that my crankiness is due to my depression, which has gotten worse through the last couple months...but he's unconvinced.

He said that he can't take it anymore. He said he wasn't strong enough to do this depression thing. :scratchhead: Yeah well...I gotta live with it in my head, and I can't escape it. Can you imagine how I feel? Anyways...he says I don't make him happy, he lost his spark for me...the only reason he tells me he loves me is because he's horny.

He says he does like having sex with me, which is a good thing...I guess...since his infidelity I've questioned it, but other than that, he just doesn't love me. I insist on giving me a couple weeks to get on medication...that I can fix it. I can change. He really fell for me when I was on antidepressents before, but I don't have insurance so getting them would be kind of costly these days.

How do you marry someone you don't love?

How can he just one day decide he can't take it anymore and tell me to look for another place to live? He says that, when it gets down to it, he's just not strong enough to deal with the depression.  I seriously don't know what to do. I can't change the way he thinks, but I keep thinking that he loved the person I was when I was medicated...I wouldn't love my cranky ass either...maybe if I medicated myself, he'll love me again.


----------



## BigToe (Jun 2, 2011)

First, I'm sorry about your depression. I don't think many people understand how hard it can take hold of someone and change the way they interact with the world.

Unfortunately, some people simply cannot cope with a depressed spouse or relative. He probably does not truly appreciate what you are going through and I suspect only those who have been there can really understand. However, it can sort of "ruin the day" for everyone impacted and he may have just had enough.

I'm not sure there's an easy solution here. You can't be expected to control your depression and if he's had enough, then he's had enough. I'm sorry, I wish I had better advice for you.


----------



## Giavi (Jun 22, 2011)

He already told you that he doesn't "Love you", Love more yourself!,When someone really cares about you and love you; will help you, be interest in you getting better because that's Love.
there is a Website that may Help you in your depresion.
http://www.divorcepill.com/blog
Good Luck


----------



## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Ok. So, You now have a child with this man.

If that's the case, you tell HIM to move out if he wants a separation so bad. Are you seriously even letting him convince you that you and your child should just get out?

This man in being selfish. Plain and simple. And uncaring, and ignorant. And a million other not so nice things.

Let him go. Kick HIM out! The first order of business is protecting you and your child.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Oh yeah. Make sure you see some sort of legal council to ensure he pays you child support and alimony. Don't let him shirk his responsibilities just because he says he can't deal with it anymore. He will be dealing with it for the rest of his life, regardless, and he needs to remember that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------

