# Husband reading Incest porn



## Jc125

Recently, my husband and I found our spark back. Our intimacy has gone from 0-60 and it's been great. However I just recently discovered he's reading Incest porn. No pictures or videos, just reading. But it completely shocked me and I'm disgusted. We have a three year old son and this makes me so uneasy. He says he's just reading, which he reads everything, but this is unacceptable to me. I'm curious what others thoughts are on this topic. Advice on what to do.


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## bobert

Is it siblings or step-siblings having sex? That seems to be popular these days... IMO, that's different than parent-child.


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## Cletus

Jc125 said:


> Advice on what to do.


Calm down.

Most people are fully capable of separating fantasy from reality, and this is not an uncommon fantasy. As long as you don't see any signs of anything untoward going on in your house, let the man be.


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## Jc125

It was a little of everything. There were some of each


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## Jc125

bobert said:


> Is it siblings or step-siblings having sex? That seems to be popular these days... IMO, that's different than parent-child.


There was a little of both.


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## Blondilocks

Cletus said:


> this is not an uncommon fantasy.


Really? There are a lot of people out there fantasizing about schtupping a relative? Why? I don't really expect an answer to the 'why'.

OP, you need to explain to your husband that this disgusts you and can affect your attraction to him.


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## Jc125

Cletus said:


> Calm down.
> 
> Most people are fully capable of separating fantasy from reality, and this is not an uncommon fantasy. As long as you don't see any signs of anything untoward going on in your house, let the man be.


Well my last marriage the man was a porn addict. It lead to some very bad things. But with this I just worry because it's somewhat what the beginning was like before. It developed into much more serious situations.


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## Jc125

Blondilocks said:


> OP, you need to explain to your husband that this disgusts you and can affect your attraction to him


I absolutely did. He said I should know him well enough it's nothing more than reading. But my concern is I thought I knew him entirely. Such a gut punch to see that.


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## Cletus

Blondilocks said:


> Really? There are a lot of people out there fantasizing about schtupping a relative? Why? I don't really expect an answer to the 'why'.


Then I won't disappoint, 'cause I don't know why either. 

Ever watch Game Of Thrones?


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## Blondilocks

Cletus said:


> Then I won't disappoint, 'cause I don't know why either.
> 
> *Ever watch Game Of Thrones?*


Nope. But; we all know those movie screenwriters are weird as ****.


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## StarFires

Is it only about incest, or is there any child pornography involved? If it's about child pornography, I would think my husband is sick in the head, and I would be very afraid for my 3 year old. But incest porn is usually among adults and in some way appeals to our voyeuristic instincts. It's a common intrigue and nothing to worry about. Just make sure no children are involved.


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## hubbyintrubby

Jc125 said:


> I absolutely did. He said I should know him well enough it's nothing more than reading. *But my concern is I thought I knew him entirely*. Such a gut punch to see that.


It's a mistake to ever think this about pretty much anybody, no matter how close they are to you and you to them. If you want to prove yourself wrong, assume you know everything about another person.


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## StarFires

Jc125 said:


> Well my last marriage the man was a porn addict. It lead to some very bad things. But with this I just worry because it's somewhat what the beginning was like before. It developed into much more serious situations.


Be careful not to project your fears from your first experience onto this current experience. Interest in pornography seldom develops into "serious situations" beyond porn addiction and lack of interest in their wife, which I do understand are very serious, but I almost infer something criminal from your statement. I don't know what you mean by "serious situations," so please clarify what you mean by that. What happened?



Jc125 said:


> I absolutely did. He said I should know him well enough it's nothing more than reading. But my concern is I thought I knew him entirely. Such a gut punch to see that.


That can be a false sense of security. I don't believe we ever truly know another person fully since we can't know what is in their mind. It's doubtful your husband only recently began watching porn. There are lots of men who hide that fact, espcially if you shared your previous experience with him. He exempted himself as presenting a potential for your like your previous husband, so he hid from you. Try not to be so shocked by it though. It's really very common. So long as it doesn't affect your marital relationship and it's not child pornography, then it's not really that big a deal. I, myself, used to watch a lot of porn and spent a lot of money on videos. It wasn't that I was addicted to porn. I was looking for something specific, which I almost never found, but nobody in my life knew that I watched it. I'm just saying all kinds of people watch porn, people in your life you would never know or expect. It doesn't make them terrible people and doesn't lead to "serious situations" for everyone.


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## Jc125

StarFires said:


> Be careful not to project your fears from your first experience onto this current experience. Interest in pornography seldom develops into "serious situations" beyond porn addiction and lack of interest in their wife, which I do understand are very serious, but I almost infer something criminal from your statement. I don't know what you mean by "serious situations," so please clarify what you mean by that. What happened?
> 
> 
> 
> That can be a false sense of security. I don't believe we ever truly know another person fully since we can't know what is in their mind. It's doubtful your husband only recently began watching porn. There are lots of men who hide that fact, espcially if you shared your previous experience with him. He exempted himself as presenting a potential for your like your previous husband, so he hid from you. Try not to be so shocked by it though. It's really very common. So long as it doesn't affect your marital relationship and it's not child pornography, then it's not really that big a deal. I, myself, used to watch a lot of porn and spent a lot of money on videos. It wasn't that I was addicted to porn. I was looking for something specific, which I almost never found, but nobody in my life knew that I watched it. I'm just saying all kinds of people watch porn, people in your life you would never know or expect. It doesn't make them terrible people and doesn't lead to "serious situations" for everyone.


While I totally understand porn is common, if it was typical porn it wouldn't have phased me. It was the incest part that is throwing me for a loop. If he were just reading erotica and that was it, it wouldn't bother me.


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## Jc125

hubbyintrubby said:


> It's a mistake to ever think this about pretty much anybody, no matter how close they are to you and you to them. If you want to prove yourself wrong, assume you know everything about another person.


That's very true. You make a good point


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## Jc125

Jc125 said:


> While I totally understand porn is common, if it was typical porn it wouldn't have phased me. It was the incest part that is throwing me for a loop. If he were just reading erotica and that was it, it wouldn't bother me.


Serious situations as his anticipations for our sex life were completely in realistic where he tried to force different things. It made him a completely different person, in and out of the bedroom


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## leftfield

So I just went to an erotic stories website and what I saw there is that incest was the second most popular story tag and there are almost as many stories that include incest as stories for erotic hookups. I just share this to point out that stories about incest are common and there are lots of people who read them. 

This does not change the fact that you are not OK with it. So you are going to need to communicate with your husband, in a calm way, how you feel.


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## Diana7

No matter if its popular or not, thats irrelevant and sadly just shows how low we have sunk. For me its no no especially if its between a parent or son or parent and daughter. If my husband wanted to read that I would be very concerned. I think its very important what we read and watch. How is this in anyway good for him or your sex life?
As you say porn use is something that can often just get worse and worse. 
All you can do is tell him how you feel about it.


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## Jc125

leftfield said:


> So I just went to an erotic stories website and what I saw there is that incest was the second most popular story tag and there are almost as many stories that include incest as stories for erotic hookups. I just share this to point out that stories about incest are common and there are lots of people who read them.
> 
> This does not change the fact that you are not OK with it. So you are going to need to communicate with your husband, in a calm way, how you feel.


I really appreciate that. I was trying to look up feeds like this one and see that it's common. Which is unacceptable for me personally. The hiding it and the Incest part are absolutely not ok. I just am having as hard time figuring out how to move forward. Something I thought I'd never have to discuss with my husband. Thank you for your genuine help and response.


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## Jc125

Diana7 said:


> No matter if its popular or not, for me its no no especially if its between a parent or son and daughter. I think its very important what we read and watch. How is this in anyway good for him or your sex life?


That was kinda my initial fear. So that's why I'm just baffled


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## Cletus

Jc125 said:


> The hiding it and the Incest part are absolutely not ok.


Given your reaction, hiding it is the only reasonable course of action your husband now has. You have basically shamed him for a common fantasy.

You won't change his mind on this. You will only drive him underground. A choice you get to make, but don't for a second think that this will play out any differently.


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## Diana7

Jc125 said:


> Well my last marriage the man was a porn addict. It lead to some very bad things. But with this I just worry because it's somewhat what the beginning was like before. It developed into much more serious situations.


And that is a real danger. Many have found that it takes worse and worse things to get them aroused.


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## Diana7

Jc125 said:


> It was a little of everything. There were some of each


Do you mean parents abusing their children?


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## StarFires

Jc125 said:


> While I totally understand porn is common, if it was typical porn it wouldn't have phased me. It was the incest part that is throwing me for a loop. If he were just reading erotica and that was it, it wouldn't bother me.


Yes, I understand. But I referred to pornography and didn't separate incest porn as a different type in attempt of just trying to convey that it's basically all the same. Incest is intriguing for slightly different reasons, but I don't think it's anything to worry about. Some people are shocked to discover their spouse has an interest in porn (or erotica) they didn't previously know about, and oppose it vehemently. You're shocked to discover his interest in incest, and it bothers you immensely. But you're projecting that onto him, and I think needessly. 

You asked for our thoughts, but it seems we're failing at calming you. Do you insist on feeling the way you do, or are our attempts inadequate? Please think about what we're saying or tell us you need more convincing.



Jc125 said:


> Serious situations as his anticipations for our sex life were completely in realistic where he tried to force different things. It made him a completely different person, in and out of the bedroom.


Okay, I get it. That should never happen, so I understand the reason for your concern. I just hope you'll understand that you're projecting. That can also be the cause of problems developing in your current marriage.


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## Jc125

Diana7 said:


> And that is a real danger. Many have found that it takes worse and worse things to get them aroused.


Yes and I lived it first hand. While this aside, my husband has always been an amazing partner. We have had a very good relationship. He would lie about smoking and small things. It just concerns me he could be keeping more from me


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## Diana7

Cletus said:


> Given your reaction, hiding it is the only reasonable course of action your husband now has. You have basically shamed him for a common fantasy.
> 
> You won't change his mind on this. You will only drive him underground. A choice you get to make, but don't for a second think that this will play out any differently.


Or maybe he will be a considerate husband and actually stop doing something that makes his wife uneasy and unhappy.


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## Diana7

Jc125 said:


> Yes and I lived it first hand. While this aside, my husband has always been an amazing partner. We have had a very good relationship. He would lie about smoking and small things. It just concerns me he could be keeping more from me


IMpossible to say but if someone lies its hard to know when they are being truthful.


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## Diana7

Jc125 said:


> Yes and I lived it first hand. While this aside, my husband has always been an amazing partner. We have had a very good relationship. He would lie about smoking and small things. It just concerns me he could be keeping more from me


Was any of this stuff he is reading concerning a parent and their child or teenager?


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## Jc125

StarFires said:


> Yes, I understand. But I referred to pornography and didn't separate incest porn as a different type in attempt of just trying to convey that it's basically all the same. Incest is intriguing for slightly different reasons, but I don't think it's anything to worry about. Some people are shocked to discover their spouse has an interest in porn (or erotica) they didn't previously know about, and oppose it vehemently. You're shocked to discover his interest in incest, and it bothers you immensely. But you're projecting that onto him, and I think needessly.
> 
> You asked for our thoughts, but it seems we're failing at calming you. Do you insist on feeling the way you do, or are our attempts inadequate? Please think about what we're saying or tell us you need more convincing.
> 
> 
> 
> Okay, I get it. That should never happen, so I understand the reason for your concern. I just hope you'll understand that you're projecting. That can also be the cause of problems developing in your current marriage.


I wanted to get feedback from others and see if I was having reasonable reactions. I'm also trying to answer questions. I appreciate this avenue to seek advice. This is hours fresh and I'm trying to make sense or figure out my next move. We honestly didn't have problems in our marriage. This is the first time it's ever been this level of an argument or whatever you wanna call it. I know my past will play it's part in my response to this but it's something I can't help but think because that's my experience with porn. I knew he likes erotica. That was not the problem. It's the type that is the problem


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## Cletus

Diana7 said:


> Or maybe he will be a considerate husband and actually stop doing something that makes his wife uneasy and unhappy.


Considerate can have many definitions. Considerate doesn't require him to stop, only to stop doing it in her presence and to not make an issue of it. 

Or, to paraphrase Dan Savage, he pretends to not do it, and she pretends to believe him.


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## Jc125

Diana7 said:


> Was any of this stuff he is reading concerning a parent and their child or teenager?


I didn't prefer to delve in and read it all. The titles and a glance through were enough. There are as "All I want for Christmas is mom" and I can't remember the other ones but the topic/category they were all under was incest and taboo


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## Diana7

StarFires said:


> Be careful not to project your fears from your first experience onto this current experience. Interest in pornography seldom develops into "serious situations" beyond porn addiction and lack of interest in their wife, which I do understand are very serious, but I almost infer something criminal from your statement. I don't know what you mean by "serious situations," so please clarify what you mean by that. What happened?
> 
> 
> 
> That can be a false sense of security. I don't believe we ever truly know another person fully since we can't know what is in their mind. It's doubtful your husband only recently began watching porn. There are lots of men who hide that fact, espcially if you shared your previous experience with him. He exempted himself as presenting a potential for your like your previous husband, so he hid from you. Try not to be so shocked by it though. It's really very common. So long as it doesn't affect your marital relationship and it's not child pornography, then it's not really that big a deal. I, myself, used to watch a lot of porn and spent a lot of money on videos. It wasn't that I was addicted to porn. I was looking for something specific, which I almost never found, but nobody in my life knew that I watched it. I'm just saying all kinds of people watch porn, people in your life you would never know or expect. It doesn't make them terrible people and doesn't lead to "serious situations" for everyone.


Actually porn use can and does develop into worse things. I can think of several examples myself where this happened, with awful consequences.


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## Diana7

Jc125 said:


> I didn't prefer to delve in and read it all. The titles and a glance through were enough. There are as "All I want for Christmas is mom" and I can't remember the other ones but the topic/category they were all under was incest and taboo


Oh dear. Talk to him. If he cares about you and knows it bothers you he will stop, but you may need to find out of it includes parents haing sex with under age children. If it does I would be even more concerned.


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## Jc125

Diana7 said:


> Oh dear. Talk to him. If he cares about you and knows it bothers you he will stop, but you may need to find out of it includes parents haing sex with under age children. If it does I would be even more concerned.


From what I saw I didn't think it was underaged. But thank you. I really appreciate your words. I've always praised him for being the wonderful man and husband he is. It's just having to build that level of trust up all over again.


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## Diana7

Jc125 said:


> From what I saw I didn't think it was underaged. But thank you. I really appreciate your words. I've always praised him for being the wonderful man and husband he is. It's just having to build that level of trust up all over again.


Yes, please talk to him. He needs to know how you feel.


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## leftfield

Jc125 said:


> From what I saw I didn't think it was underaged. But thank you. I really appreciate your words. I've always praised him for being the wonderful man and husband he is. It's just having to build that level of trust up all over again.


What do you mean build up that level of trust over again? Has your husband actually done anything different than what he has done in the past? You found that he has a erotic turn on that you were not aware of, you did not find that he is a completely different man than he was yesterday or last week.


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## Jc125

leftfield said:


> What do you mean build up that level of trust over again. Has your husband actually done anything different than what he has done in the past? You found that he has a erotic turn on that you were not aware of, you did not find that he is a completely different man than he was yesterday or last week.


For me hiding something that is wrong is one way to lose my trust. Erotica is something he enjoys reading, which is fine. But when things take a step in another direction it is cause for concern. Also I have asked him straight forward if he looks at porn or anything to get a rise and he has denied it.


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## Jc125

Diana7 said:


> Yes, please talk to him. He needs to know how you feel.


Thank you.my original reaction was pretty emotional and probably bigger than it should have been. I need to try and have a calm conversation with him and will do so . Thank you.


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## SunCMars

With all the other copious, opium-ed, porn schlupp out there and _read_-ily availing...... this is _way_ _out there_, alone and dangling by a decayed thread of a nub.

From this errant poet, one not seeing a dignified rhyme or reason for diving in such familiar, family mud.

Thoughts, as these, when hidden, are silently onerous, those openly expressed are revealing and slug-ugly.

Satan, avast..... be still!  --- > ^  ^

............................................................

You know, there are limits to most anything. 
Some humans are broken, beyond any of that limiting fixing.

I think the man was abused in his youth.
Or, he was the abuser.

Gads, he is trapped inside those past thoughts, old wounds, maybe his own dire deeds.
The weeds of those deeds returning gasping for air and new growth water.


_The Typist-_


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## StarFires

Diana7 said:


> Actually porn use can and does develop into worse things. I can think of several examples myself where this happened, with awful consequences.


In that post you quoted, I stated the "worse things" that it can develop into, and the OP confirmed them. How could you miss reading that in the very post you quoted? How do you always miss stuff before thinking you need to correct me? So maybe read and understand first or just don't bother anymore. Please put me on ignore because I'm sick of this. Disagreeing with me or correcting what I said is one thing and not hardly a problem. But continually correcting what I said with what I said is antagonistic and harassing. Just put me on ignore so you don't see my posts since you cant read my posts correctly and keep hastily getting bent out of shape.


.


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## leftfield

Jc125 said:


> For me hiding something that is wrong is one way to lose my trust. Erotica is something he enjoys reading, which is fine. But when things take a step in another direction it is cause for concern. *Also I have asked him straight forward if he looks at porn or anything to get a rise and he has denied it.*


If he has not been honest and open about the bolded, then the two of you deffinately have things that need to be worked on.


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## Jc125

SunCMars said:


> With all the other copious, opium-ed, porn schlupp out there and _read_-ily availing...... this is _way_ _out there_, alone and dangling by a decayed thread of a nub.
> 
> From this errant poet, one not seeing a dignified rhyme or reason for diving in such familiar, family mud.
> 
> Thoughts, as these, when hidden, are silently onerous, those openly expressed are revealing and slug-ugly.
> 
> Satan, avast..... be still!  --- > ^  ^
> 
> ............................................................
> 
> You know, there are limits to most anything.
> Some humans are broken, beyond any of that limiting fixing.
> 
> I think the man was abused in his youth.
> Or, he was the abuser.
> 
> Gads, he is trapped inside those past thoughts, old wounds, maybe his own dire deeds.
> The weeds of those deeds returning gasping for air and new growth water.
> 
> 
> _The Typist-_


Something I will definitely inquire about when we discuss this. Thank you for that suggestion.


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## Blondilocks

Porn being a problem in your last marriage is part of your history and has shaped who you are. A spouse needs to be sensitive to triggers and needs of the other in order to provide a safe and loving environment. 

You may be projecting; but, so what? I'm betting he knew what you put up with in your last marriage and he still thought he could partake. Was he being sensitive to your feelings? If he is being resistant to stopping, there are other factors at play here.


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## StarFires

Jc125 said:


> For me hiding something that is wrong is one way to lose my trust. Erotica is something he enjoys reading, which is fine. But when things take a step in another direction it is cause for concern. Also I have asked him straight forward if he looks at porn or anything to get a rise and he has denied it.


This post and a previous one, where you speak of other things he has lied about, give this whole situation a different spin. You're receiving mixed opinons on the incest erotica issue, so I'm not going to delve into that any more than I have already. What I'm seeing now are too many things he has hidden from you and while it's not at all uncommon for a person to hide their porn interest from their spouse, the more information you give us paints a picture of a man who has basically hidden his true self from you in order to present himself to you as someone acceptable - someone who shares your beliefs and values but really doesn't.

Do you see this as a possibility?

I actually fear bringing this up because you are relatively happy in your marriage sans this one issue that concerns you deeply. But I do think you need to know there may be more to consider, which could include the necessity of looking into his finances and his whereabouts. There could be more surprising things to discover..... 

Edited to add: .....because denying that he looks at porn is a big lie in my opinion. A person who reads erotica more than likely watches it too, especially since it is so readily available. He thinks you would not approve, so it's easy to lie about.


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## Jc125

StarFires said:


> This post and a previous one, where you speak of other things he has lied about, give this whole situation a different spin. You're receiving mixed opinons on the incest erotica issue, so I'm not going to delve into that any more than I have already. What I'm seeing now are too many things he has hidden from you and while it's not at all uncommon for a person to hide their porn interest from their spouse, the more information you give us paints a picture of a man who has basically hidden his true self from you in order to present himself to you as someone acceptable - someone who shares your beliefs and values but really doesn't.
> 
> Do you see this as a possibility?
> 
> I actually fear bringing this up because you are relatively happy in your marriage sans this one issue that concerns you deeply. But I do think you need know there may be more to consider, which could include the necessity of looking into his finances and his whereabouts. There could be more surprising things to discover.


Thank you. I'm definitely going to have a deep conversation this evening when he gets home. I know there are a million things to consider and I know I can potentially overreact as anyone can. Especially at the initial moment of finding out. There is definitely a lot I need to consider and look into and ask about.


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## SunCMars

Jc125 said:


> For me hiding something that is wrong is one way to lose my trust. Erotica is something he enjoys reading, which is fine. But when things take a step in another direction it is cause for concern. Also* I have asked him straight forward if he looks at porn or anything to get a rise and he has denied it.*


Nonsense, all this behavior is to get a rise.

If not his penis, surely his temperature and blood flow, his blood pressure and heart rate.

Else.... what?

As mentioned, reliving his fragile (frenetic?) youth?

...................................................

In all fairness, it could be just the latest kink in that twisting mind of his.

The reading of, not the looking at, that is what is more the puzzling thing.

I am saying this, as men are known voyeurs, women the readers, as least, so popularly said.

It could be....

As a youth he could not easily get his hands on visual porn. so it was the reading of it.
The habit continues.


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## StarFires

Jc125 said:


> Thank you. I'm definitely going to have a deep conversation this evening when he gets home. I know there are a million things to consider and I know I can potentially overreact as anyone can. Especially at the initial moment of finding out. There is definitely a lot I need to consider and look into and ask about.


I added more to this post you quoted that I missed out initially, but it's not here in the quote, so you may have missed it. My right brow lifted just a little bit when you mentioned him lying about smoking and..... (I forgot the other thing you mentioned right after) but didn't want to make a big deal of it because it may not be a big deal. But after seeing you say he has denied watching porn, well that made both eyes widen, my ears pinned themselves, and my lips purse . I believe it to be a downright lie.

You can check his history on the computer and also install a keylogger to check future activity. Check Google store to see if there is software to reveal history of activity on his mobile phone or tab. I'm not sure but worth checking into. And, when checking into his finances, you might find questionable expenditures or even that he's not as solvent as he impressed.

You have some checking to do, and it might take some time. So please consider not talking to him soon, and tonight might be too soon. When confronted, he likely won't tell the truths you need to find out about. You want to discover them for yourself or discover there was actually nothing to discover. Just do your homework first, then talk to him. It will either be a heart-to-heart discussion as you plan on doing tonight, or it will be a matter of you having proof in hand. Hopefully the former. I mean, I really, really, really hope the former. But you never know until you know, so be patient for your own sake so he doesn't have time to delete things and cover his tracks. Detective work takes time.


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## Annoyed_Hubby

I only skimmed this thread but as a man I find this so disgusting and vile... I’m sorry but I really do. I don’t think this should be accepted as the new normal, rather people like this need serious psychological help. So sorry.


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## Diana7

StarFires said:


> In that post you quoted, I stated the "worse things" that it can develop into, and the OP confirmed them. How could you miss reading that in the very post you quoted? How do you always miss stuff before thinking you need to correct me? So maybe read and understand first or just don't bother anymore. Please put me on ignore because I'm sick of this. Disagreeing with me or correcting what I said is one thing and not hardly a problem. But continually correcting what I said with what I said is antagonistic and harassing. Just put me on ignore so you don't see my posts since you cant read my posts correctly and keep hastily getting bent out of shape.
> 
> 
> .


I didnt correct you, and never have.Just stating another point of view.


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## Mr The Other

Jc125 said:


> Recently, my husband and I found our spark back. Our intimacy has gone from 0-60 and it's been great. However I just recently discovered he's reading Incest porn. No pictures or videos, just reading. But it completely shocked me and I'm disgusted. We have a three year old son and this makes me so uneasy. He says he's just reading, which he reads everything, but this is unacceptable to me. I'm curious what others thoughts are on this topic. Advice on what to do.


I was stuck in Barcelona airport for seven hours once. I could not leave, I had to wait in the terminal.
When I finally got to my destination, my very nice colleague, a Swiss lady, was laughing at me. She was speculating how long it was before I was checking out dodgy porn discreetly in the toilet. 
I suggest such a relaxed attitude is appropriate. It is an outlet for not being a completely domesitcated animal. He is enjoying taboo breaking stuff.
As for just reading...well, either he is not enjoying himself, he is taking you to the bedroom or disappearing discreetly for ten minutes. He is a sexual animal an dif this is the worst of him, then things are all good.


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## Diana7

Jc125 said:


> Thank you. I'm definitely going to have a deep conversation this evening when he gets home. I know there are a million things to consider and I know I can potentially overreact as anyone can. Especially at the initial moment of finding out. There is definitely a lot I need to consider and look into and ask about.


I just wanted to say that not all men watch porn so he may or may not be lying about that. I do think though that the content of what he is reading is just as bad as porn.


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## Jc125

Diana7 said:


> I just wanted to say that not all men watch porn so he may or may not be lying about that. I do think though that the content of what he is reading is just as bad as porn.


I agree


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## Diana7

Annoyed_Hubby said:


> I only skimmed this thread but as a man I find this so disgusting and vile... I’m sorry but I really do. I don’t think this should be accepted as the new normal, rather people like this need serious psychological help. So sorry.


I agree, and I find the idea that just because lots of others do something it must be normal or ok as very weird. People do all sorts of things today that are so damaging and very wrong.


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## Diana7

Mr The Other said:


> I was stuck in Barcelona airport for seven hours once. I could not leave, I had to wait in the terminal.
> When I finally got to my destination, my very nice colleague, a Swiss lady, was laughing at me. She was speculating how long it was before I was checking out dodgy porn discreetly in the toilet.
> I suggest such a relaxed attitude is appropriate. It is an outlet for not being a completely domesitcated animal. He is enjoying taboo breaking stuff.
> As for just reading...well, either he is not enjoying himself, he is taking you to the bedroom or disappearing discreetly for ten minutes. He is a sexual animal an dif this is the worst of him, then things are all good.


But they arent good for her, because for her and for many others the content of what he is reading about is just way over what is acceptable.


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## Mr The Other

Diana7 said:


> But they arent good for her, because for her and for many others the content of what he is reading about is just way over what is acceptable.


It is not good. 
I hope that is understood, by me stating it is OK if that is the worst.


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## Red Sonja

Diana7 said:


> I didnt correct you, and never have.Just stating another point of view.


I agree ... it appears that someone must have pissed in @StarFires Cheerios this morning because that post of hers that you quoted should go into a TAM report (if she feels that strongly about it) and NOT on a public thread.


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## Diana7

Mr The Other said:


> It is not good.
> I hope that is understood, by me stating it is OK if that is the worst.


Yes I get what you are saying.


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## jlg07

Jc125 said:


> From what I saw I didn't think it was underaged. But thank you. I really appreciate your words. I've always praised him for being the wonderful man and husband he is. It's just having to build that level of trust up all over again.


So the whole incest thing could just because it's "Taboo" and he has NO real interest in it. However, YOU have clearly stated to him that this in particular bothers you. You BOTH need to discuss and come to some sort of conclusion on this. He needs to understand how much this is affecting you, but you also need to understand how much your ex and his issues could be affecting your thinking on this.
Ultimately, if you can't deal with him doing this, tell him, and tell him the consequences. He will then have to decide if casual reading of incest porn is worth those consequences.


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## Jc125

jlg07 said:


> So the whole incest thing could just because it's "Taboo" and he has NO real interest in it. However, YOU have clearly stated to him that this in particular bothers you. You BOTH need to discuss and come to some sort of conclusion on this. He needs to understand how much this is affecting you, but you also need to understand how much your ex and his issues could be affecting your thinking on this.
> Ultimately, if you can't deal with him doing this, tell him, and tell him the consequences. He will then have to decide if casual reading of incest porn is worth those consequences.


You're very right. I'm working on what I plan on saying and this definitely helps me grasp some good wording. My exes actions definitely still affect me. It took me an extremely long time to feel comfortable and confident enough to enjoy my intimacy with my husband.


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## aine

Personally I wouldn't be ok with it, I guess each person will have a different response. If it is something you are not ok with then you cannot pretend you are, it is as simple as that. How long have you been married?


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## Jc125

[QUOursTE="aine, post: 20180835, member: 119273"]
Personally I wouldn't be ok with it, I guess each person will have a different response. If it is something you are not ok with then you cannot pretend you are, it is as simple as that. How long have you been married?
[/QUOTE]
Six and a half years. 9 yrs together.


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## nosleepneeded

Diana7 said:


> Oh dear. Talk to him. If he cares about you and knows it bothers you he will stop, but you may need to find out of it includes parents haing sex with under age children. If it does I would be even more concerned.


I'm a fan of these stories and I've seen that title before, It's on Literotica. It's a sitewide rule that all characters that have sex have to be 18 or older.


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## frusdil

Eeeeew. Nope. Gross. If I could even come back from it (not sure I could), I'd be making it clear that that needs to stop immediately.

Omfg.


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## Diana7

Jc125 said:


> You're very right. I'm working on what I plan on saying and this definitely helps me grasp some good wording. My exes actions definitely still affect me. It took me an extremely long time to feel comfortable and confident enough to enjoy my intimacy with my husband.


I honestly dont think anyone would spend time reading about something unless its what they desire to read. I also dont think your reaction is only due to your first marriage, or even largely due to it, many people would not be ok with this and would be troubled that their spouse was ok with it, and even wanted to read it.


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## Diana7

nosleepneeded said:


> I'm a fan of these stories and I've seen that title before, It's on Literotica. It's a sitewide rule that all characters that have sex have to be 18 or older.


OK thats good, but its still not what I would in anyway want my spouse to be interested in.


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## Divinely Favored

Diana7 said:


> OK thats good, but its still not what I would in anyway want my spouse to be interested in.


I wouldn't want spouse reading or watching any of it. It always irked me when women had issue with hubby watching porn or looking at PB or Hustler, but they were quick to go to next chapter of SofG bdsm mommy porn book. To me the stories are worse. Too easy for one to place themselves in the stories as one of the characters. The women i know already had a guy picked out as to what they pictured him.

The hubbies in their lives were enjoying the "benefits" of their hyper sexualized wives reading bdsm mommy porn. I wanted to tell them "You realize they are having sex with the character they have pictured in her mind and you are just a human dildo for her fantasy"

And when the wives started cheating on them, I wanted to say "Tell me again how you are liking your wife being turned on by someone in her bdsm fantasy life"


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## Yeswecan

Cletus said:


> Calm down.
> 
> and this is not an uncommon fantasy.


Uh....ok?


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## Diana7

Divinely Favored said:


> I wouldn't want spouse reading or watching any of it. It always irked me when women had issue with hubby watching porn or looking at PB or Hustler, but they were quick to go to next chapter of SofG bdsm mommy porn book. To me the stories are worse. Too easy for one to place themselves in the stories as one of the characters. The women i know already had a guy picked out as to what they pictured him.
> 
> The hubbies in their lives were enjoying the "benefits" of their hyper sexualized wives reading bdsm mommy porn. I wanted to tell them "You realize they are having sex with the character they have pictured in her mind and you are just a human dildo for her fantasy"
> 
> And when the wives started cheating on them, I wanted to say "Tell me again how you are liking your wife being turned on by someone in her bdsm fantasy life"


I dont see reading a book as worse than watching porn, but its not good either way, and if it's about incest, worse.


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## Mr The Other

Diana7 said:


> I dont see reading a book as worse than watching porn, but its not good either way, and if it's about incest, worse.


It really depends if breaking the rules is the kick. I very much doubt he actually wants to do his sister.
It is not something I get, but if there is nothing worse than that, well we all (present company excepted  ) have our flaws.
My feeling is the porn represents an issue. It is taken for granted, but I will say that if I am in a strong, sexually satisfied and emotionally engaged relationship, porn is never tempting. When I am more alientated from life it is.
My sister found porn under her husbands hats. Apparently, he has a fondness for huge busted Asian women. Her colleagues reaction was that if this is his big secret, be happy. It is not ideal, but the ideal will not be found with us as we are now.


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## Mr The Other

Divinely Favored said:


> ...
> 
> The hubbies in their lives were enjoying the "benefits" of their hyper sexualized wives reading bdsm mommy porn. I wanted to tell them "You realize they are having sex with the character they have pictured in her mind and you are just a human dildo for her fantasy"
> ...


Good grief, you should start writing those books! You have talent, son!


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## C.C. says ...

I have this friend who sends me weird porn links from time to time. One of them was about two ‘sisters’ doing each other while their ‘dad’ watched from behind a partition. 

I mean, sure it’s sick! But that’s what takes some people over the edge, I guess. It’s sick fantasy. Do I get into it? No. But it was out there for sure. It also helped that I knew that the participants were only pretending to be related.

You think that’s bad? That’s nothing. One time an ex of mine left his laptop open and seriously y’all, it was a Dalmatian having sex with a woman. Now _that_ was disturbing. I couldn’t even bring myself to ask him about it. I just barked really loud the next time we got it on. 🥴

He didn’t even flinch.


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## Marriednatlanta

Jc125 said:


> Recently, my husband and I found our spark back. Our intimacy has gone from 0-60 and it's been great. However I just recently discovered he's reading Incest porn. No pictures or videos, just reading. But it completely shocked me and I'm disgusted. We have a three year old son and this makes me so uneasy. He says he's just reading, which he reads everything, but this is unacceptable to me. I'm curious what others thoughts are on this topic. Advice on what to do.


On no level is this OK.


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## Divinely Favored

Mr The Other said:


> Good grief, you should start writing those books! You have talent, son!


Really sad. The co worker who made the comment of his benefits from his wifes reading. She was screwing a local Tx DPS officer and ended up walking away from her husband and 2 daughters. Youngest was 11 with Downs. She used to be an awesome wife/mom...then started reading the smut mommy porn...lost weight and she was gone. He has house and kids...she left...good riddance. He now is dating a chiropracter who was cheated on by her husband. May be best match for him. He is good guy and dad.


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## Diana7

Divinely Favored said:


> Really sad. The co worker who made the comment of his benefits from his wifes reading. She was screwing a local Tx DPS officer and ended up walking away from her husband and 2 daughters. Youngest was 11 with Downs. She used to be an awesome wife/mom...then started reading the smut mommy porn...lost weight and she was gone. He has house and kids...she left...good riddance. He now is dating a chiropracter who was cheated on by her husband. May be best match for him. He is good guy and dad.


We need to be so careful what we read and watch. People think that things are ok as long as we dont act on the stuff, but it does affect us even if we dont act on it. Some do act on it though, I know a few cases where it led to more and it destroyed families and lives.


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## Blondilocks

Divinely Favored said:


> I wouldn't want spouse reading or watching any of it. It always irked me when women had issue with hubby watching porn or looking at PB or Hustler, but they were quick to go to next chapter of SofG bdsm mommy porn book. To me the stories are worse. Too easy for one to place themselves in the stories as one of the characters. The women i know already had a guy picked out as to what they pictured him.
> 
> The hubbies in their lives were enjoying the "benefits" of their hyper sexualized wives reading bdsm mommy porn. I wanted to tell them "You realize they are having sex with the character they have pictured in her mind and you are just a human dildo for her fantasy"
> 
> And when the wives started cheating on them, I wanted to say "Tell me again how you are liking your wife being turned on by someone in her bdsm fantasy life"


It's pretty common for a woman to be told that her husband's viewing of whatever or sexting with another woman is ok because he's bringing his lust to* her.* I just don't get why that is supposed to be complimentary(?), reassuring(?), acceptable(?). When the truth is any hole would do. It certainly does nothing to make the spouse feel desired, loved or special.


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## Diana7

Blondilocks said:


> It's pretty common for a woman to be told that her husband's viewing of whatever or sexting with another woman is ok because he's bringing his lust to* her.* I just don't get why that is supposed to be complimentary(?), reassuring(?), acceptable(?). When the truth is any hole would do. It certainly does nothing to make the spouse feel desired, loved or special.


He may be using her as a means to satisfy his lust but what is he thinking about when they have sex?


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## Blondilocks

Diana7 said:


> He may be *using* her as a means to satisfy his lust but what is he thinking about when they have sex?


Using is exactly the problem. The cherry on top is when the guy complains that it was 'starfish' sex.😄


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## Talker67

obviously this sort of sex is undesirable, and can actually become a legal nightmare. So is there some way you could work with him to redirect his efforts? 

How about striking a deal, where he quits all this objectionable online porn cold turkey. and in return you agree to role play sex with him, where you fulfill in your own bedroom all his wildest fantasies?


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## Diana7

Talker67 said:


> obviously this sort of sex is undesirable, and can actually become a legal nightmare. So is there some way you could work with him to redirect his efforts?
> 
> How about striking a deal, where he quits all this objectionable online porn cold turkey. and in return you agree to role play sex with him, where you fulfill in your own bedroom all his wildest fantasies?


 Such as she pretends to be his sister? Or mother? Thats even more disturbing.


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## Blondilocks

Diana7 said:


> Such as she pretends to be his sister? Or mother? Thats even more disturbing.


Now, I have to clean the coffee off my screen.


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## Talker67

Diana7 said:


> Such as she pretends to be his sister? Or mother? Thats even more disturbing.


maybe. but maybe it steers his sexuality into a better place? what takes place between two consenting married people is entirely their business, and i try not to judge.


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## Personal

When I was in my early twenties, I knew a woman in her late twenties who wrote incest stories. At one point way back when, she gave me one of them to read. Yet I couldn't get past the first few pages, because I found the idea of it really boring.

That said the OPs husband certainly isn't alone in having an interest in such things. While the woman I mentioned (who was a friends housemate) didn't seem like she was a threat to anyone, and only seemed to have sexual relationships with men she wasn't related to when I knew her.


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## ConanHub

Jc125 said:


> I didn't prefer to delve in and read it all. The titles and a glance through were enough. There are as "All I want for Christmas is mom" and I can't remember the other ones but the topic/category they were all under was incest and taboo


That's pretty gross but most sites have restrictions against children being involved. Regardless, I would be disturbed as well.


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## Diana7

Talker67 said:


> maybe. but maybe it steers his sexuality into a better place? what takes place between two consenting married people is entirely their business, and i try not to judge.


Sorry but there are things that are just plain morally wrong, and feeding his incest fantasies is one of them. You suggesting that she should go along with this is making it seem ok.
So if he says, 'can you pretend to be my daughter and me your daddy so I can have sex with you' she should go along with that? Really? No self respecting woman would go along with that and nor should she have to. He is the one who need to change, not her.


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## MattMatt

*MODERATION NOTE: * Please, no more threadjacking and keep it civil, folks.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

Now, let's be clear I'm in no way, no how, by any stretch, even implying the incest sex thing is ok. If you even think this is remotely condoning, re-read this intro.

Now with that clearly defined.

What about this - what about women who infrequently, but in playful times etc, with their ltr bf or H, say in the moment; 

ooohh Daddy, are you going to spank me? or Daddy, if you'll do this, that, I'll be your good girl, or just any of the silly, playful yet can be passionate times when a women uses the word Daddy?

Now re-read my introduction paragraph. Just to remind all I'm not condoning. 

Just including part of the whole topic that many may have experienced in lighthearted banter but aren't mentioning. 

Maybe just being contrary. Two sides, and all that.


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## C.C. says ...

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> ooohh Daddy, are you going to spank me? or Daddy, if you'll do this, that, I'll be your good girl, or just any of the silly, playful yet can be passionate times when a women uses the word Daddy?


ooooooh somebody gets it. 

I’m pretty sure that nobody is actually thinking they’re having sex with their father when they’re doing this. It’s just playful fantasy. Who doesn’t do this?


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

C.C. says ... said:


> ooooooh somebody gets it.
> 
> I’m pretty sure that nobody is actually thinking they’re having sex with their father when they’re doing this. It’s just playful fantasy. Who doesn’t do this?


Thank you. Well said.


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## Diana7

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Now, let's be clear I'm in no way, no how, by any stretch, even implying the incest sex thing is ok. If you even think this is remotely condoning, re-read this intro.
> 
> Now with that clearly defined.
> 
> What about this - what about women who infrequently, but in playful times etc, with their ltr bf or H, say in the moment;
> 
> ooohh Daddy, are you going to spank me? or Daddy, if you'll do this, that, I'll be your good girl, or just any of the silly, playful yet can be passionate times when a women uses the word Daddy?
> 
> Now re-read my introduction paragraph. Just to remind all I'm not condoning.
> 
> Just including part of the whole topic that many may have experienced in lighthearted banter but aren't mentioning.
> 
> Maybe just being contrary. Two sides, and all that.


Well my husband isnt my dad so I am not going to call him dad.


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## Cletus

Diana7 said:


> Well my husband isnt my dad so I am not going to call him dad.


As no one is asking you to do it, especially your husband, I guess we have no problem, do we?


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## Diana7

Cletus said:


> As no one is asking you to do it, especially your husband, I guess we have no problem, do we?


As someone who has child abuse/incest in their family I appreciate how damaging and wrong incest is. Whether in real life, porn or books.


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## SpinyNorman

Diana7 said:


> As someone who has child abuse/incest in their family I appreciate how damaging and wrong incest is. Whether in real life, porn or books.


It's damaging in books?


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## Diana7

Yes,


SpinyNorman said:


> It's damaging in books?


 its filling you mind with all this stuff.


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## Blondilocks

Well, some Southern men do like to think of themselves as and like to be called "Big Daddy". It doesn't have anything to do with wanting to bonk their kids. It has to do with the feeling that they're the ones who are protecting and providing for their families. They are the 'patrone', the 'Don'. It's an ego thing.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

Hey, I've been called big daddy, and daddy in casual manner, this same way, for years.

Harmless, and it's good lighthearted banter.

No worries.


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## Diana7

Surely we can separate the relationship of dad/child and husband/wife? Especially in sex?


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

Diana7 said:


> Surely we can separate the relationship of dad/child and husband/wife? Especially in sex?


I think that's a given with all the posts here.

👍


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## Diana7

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> I think that's a given with all the posts here.
> 
> 👍


Well thats a relief.


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## Rob_1

The martians are coming, the martians are coming, please hide your children away. Don't let them zapp you with their martian ****-rays; 'else you'll become a ****-zombie forever and ever amen.

Seriously, just like anything, there's people that are messed up in their head, and there's people that are completely normal to today's standards whatever they might be, wherever. 
Just because I love to read about Conan the Barbarian slashing heads off the bad guys, doesn't mean that after I finished reading the book, I'm coming out to slash people with my nice machete.

Same with erotica, just because anyone reads an erotica of any type, incest in this case, doesn't mean that the OP husband is ready to jump into the sack with his male/female relatives, or that he's fantasizing about doing it with his relatives. It just entertainment, or mental masturbation in which he is not mentally picturing a relative, just the story. And yes, there are men and women that do read fantasizing about a relative, but that's a different topic. What I see here is some puritan mentality in which anything is a sin, taboo, or just plain wrong. Well, that's not always the case. Sometimes is just entertainment. 

If the OP is offended by it she can pretend that her husband will never again read erotica with incest as a theme, because her husband is not a child that she can forbids to never do it again. He should pretend that he's never, ever will read those kind of stories again.

And yes, OP you are definitely projecting into your husband. Eventually, this proyecting might become a problem that when your husband pick on it, will start to resent you, and it eventually could lead to more serious problems in your relationship than just him reading stupid erotica, unless, he's fantasizing about relatives for real, then, yes, you have a problem.


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## Divinely Favored

Blondilocks said:


> Well, some Southern men do like to think of themselves as and like to be called "Big Daddy". It doesn't have anything to do with wanting to bonk their kids. It has to do with the feeling that they're the ones who are protecting and providing for their families. They are the 'patrone', the 'Don'. It's an ego thing.


Exactly! 
Wife calls me "Big Daddy" on her own. Im the dad and 6'05" She is 5'03" so i call her "Little Momma" because of her height and she is the mother of our children. No incest thoughts involved either way.


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## Dadto2

OP...sorry, but reading about incest porn is not normal or okay unless it's part of a fiction book you're reading. Incest to me is mother-son, father-daughter. And that's sick.


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## AndStilliRise

Jc125 said:


> Recently, my husband and I found our spark back. Our intimacy has gone from 0-60 and it's been great. However I just recently discovered he's reading Incest porn. No pictures or videos, just reading. But it completely shocked me and I'm disgusted. We have a three year old son and this makes me so uneasy. He says he's just reading, which he reads everything, but this is unacceptable to me. I'm curious what others thoughts are on this topic. Advice on what to do.


Personally, that's a deal breaker for me. I would be out and take the kids with me. That's not something to even remotely have questions about. 100% gone. 

Sent from my SM-G975U using Tapatalk


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## AndStilliRise

Jc125 said:


> I absolutely did. He said I should know him well enough it's nothing more than reading. But my concern is I thought I knew him entirely. Such a gut punch to see that.


For every rat you see, there are 50 you don't. You've been through this before, you know there's more. Trust your gut. 

Sent from my SM-G975U using Tapatalk


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## AndStilliRise

Cletus said:


> Given your reaction, hiding it is the only reasonable course of action your husband now has. You have basically shamed him for a common fantasy.
> 
> You won't change his mind on this. You will only drive him underground. A choice you get to make, but don't for a second think that this will play out any differently.


It is not her fault he chose to lie. Don't lay his decision to deceive at her feet. This is 100% gas lighting. 

Sent from my SM-G975U using Tapatalk


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## MattMatt

He might find such writings disgusting but needs to feel disgusted.


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## Evinrude58

My thoughts: 
I think it’s pretty well known that porn screws up one’s mind. It’s like a drug, and just as addictive fir some people. They keep chasing that high that they got the first time they watched, but they get desensitized and need more outrageous, taboo stuff to get them all turned on.

Si it would be nice if your husband would realize the mess he’s getting himself into. He’s clearly addicted to the crap, and the addiction is getting worse. I believe the natural progression will be eventually to start doing some real-life stuff which of course will destroy the marriage.

The bad thing is, he’s got an addiction and it’s super hard to break.
But it could be the craziness and taboo ness of the incest crap he’s reading that does it for him, not necessarily that he wants to do that. Thing is, after reading that crap warps his mind, who knows what he will think he wants?

You probably should go nuclear on this. It’s a train headed for a cliff at the moment.


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## Impulse

Jc125 said:


> I didn't prefer to delve in and read it all. The titles and a glance through were enough. There are as "All I want for Christmas is mom" and I can't remember the other ones but the topic/category they were all under was incest and taboo


Is this the one about an orphan losing his parents and wanting his mum back?
And didn’t Mariah Carey have a song about it?


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## Impulse

Diana7 said:


> Such as she pretends to be his sister? Or mother? Thats even more disturbing.


To be fair, most marriages here seem to have more of a mother-son chemistry to them, rather than husband and wife (lovers). No need to role play.


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## Lance Mannion

My thoughts.

What do anime Waifus, Mary Sues, Super-heroes, romance novel heros, and incest porn all have in common? They all speak to something idealized. There are, IMO, two components to incest erotica. 

The first component is easy to identify - it's taboo. As more and more aspects of sexuality transition from taboo-status to normality, the boundary edge to find the taboo keeps moving outward. Go back in time and incest erotica was not a big thing, what was? Inter-racial porn/erotica, group sex, affairs, etc. The farther you go back in time, the more tame (by today's standards) becomes the taboo fixation of the day.

The second component, the idealization, is more murky. As we look upon the sewer of our culture and the wreckage seen within so much of romantic and sexual lives, so much dysfunction, so many heartbreaks, so much rejection, so much meaningless sex, so many hook-ups, so many infidelities, so many divorces, what is out there in the realm of love which is still pure? Love of parent for child. It's a calming and reassuring love. 

So how does this get twisted into erotica? My guess is that fans are not focusing their fantasy or interest on their own real, actual, family members, but on the idealized form. The Westermark Effect does a pretty damn good job of killing sexual interest for those in your own family, so real people are not the likely objects of fantasy, those objects are the faceless idealized forms. Back to my opening examples. Real world wives comes with their own personalities, strengths and flaws and own agendas. Waifus exist to please their husband and cause him no problems. Idealized form. Mary Sues are female characters who are perfect in every fashion while the reader of the fiction has many imperfections and problems to deal with in real life. Idealized. Super-heroes and another form of Mary Sue but benefit from abilities which put them above mere humans. Idealized. The male protagonists of romance novels are the men women dream of, the female equivalent of the Waifu. Idealized. Incest erotica is simply the pure love and acceptance of family love transported over into the sexual realm and given an edge by it's taboo nature. The real world of sexual hook-ups, building relationships, dead bedrooms, mismatched libidos and sexual abilities, well, that's not good fantasy material, these folks want The Idealized, The Purity. Family love is unconditional love and it is forbidden love.

I think the key here is the shifting boundary, across time, of what is considered taboo. Fewer and fewer sexual practices are taboo. Beware the future!


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## Totally T

Incest porn is not my bag and I can't understand it, unless it's a step-sister/step-brother kind of thing perhaps?

It is (like "Big, Black, ****") just another marketing thing to push porn sales/use. It will get tedious and pass.

By the way, the BBC thing is actually racist: projects blacks as scary, hyper-sexualized animals----which derives from post-Civil War KKK efforts to recruit poor southern whites to their racist cause. While it might be a great thing if y you're a black guy in 2020 (especially since young white men seem to me to be a bit effeminate), it is overall kind of like stereotyping all Asians as smart.


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