# Forgotten Anniversary



## richardsharpe

Good evening all:
So I did the unthinkable and forgot our anniversary. And.... my wife didn't get upset at all, said we could make next weekend our anniversary. 

I think this is worth thinking about. If she had done the "traditional " thing and gotten upset - that would have created all sorts of tensions. If we did have dinner it would be a miserable forced thing. She could have scored "points" which I would have resented. 

Instead she didn't care. We will have a lovely weekend, and I have yet another reason I know I'm with the right person. I wouldn't trade her for anyone else on earth.


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## EleGirl

Good for the two of you. Give her something extra special for being such a sweetheart.


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## Maneo

And don't forget the anniversary a year from now!


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## 2ntnuf

She deserves something special. Unfortunately, I have to add, she won't forget this. My ex 2 was similar with things. I could screw up as I am capable, and she would seem to just slough it off. 

No, don't believe it. She was not a complainer at all. That's bad because it doesn't allow her to release some of the resentment. It caused her to hold it all in until she was smashing rings I saved for and purchased as gifts. She would throw things away or give them away. My things that I liked and wanted. I just found them missing. 

I can tell you from my experience, I'd rather she sat me down and made me feel bad than discover months later that something I worked hard to purchase was gone or ruined. 

I hope your wife isn't like that. I can't imagine anyone not having an ounce of resentment after that. Understanding and forgiveness is important here. I would expect a bit of resentment and anger. I would expect to show sorrow and remorse while asking for forgiveness. Believe me, I asked for forgiveness. I'm human.


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## Snow cherry

I never felt the need to celebrate an anniversary and I'm guessing that isn't normal since I'm a woman.
I also would have to investigate because I must be the only woman on earth who doesn't know her wedding date...I wouldn't say that in a casual conversation with someone cause they would think I'm weird.
I know it was many many years ago...probably june...possibly July and definitely not in august lol.
It was a civil ceremony with no guests. It was a bit like going to the dmv.
I just cared about being married and I'm not sentimental.


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## EleGirl

Snow cherry said:


> I never felt the need to celebrate an anniversary and I'm guessing that isn't normal since I'm a woman.
> I also would have to investigate because I must be the only woman on earth who doesn't know her wedding date...I wouldn't say that in a casual conversation with someone cause they would think I'm weird.
> I know it was many many years ago...probably june...possibly July and definitely not in august lol.
> It was a civil ceremony with no guests. It was a bit like going to the dmv.
> I just cared about being married and I'm not sentimental.


I never paid much attention to them either. I can still remember the when I found out that some people expected some big production on every anniversary. I was very perplexed. 

I'm sure it's because growing up there were some things that were never celebrate in our home.. birthdays being one of them. And my parents never celebrated their wedding anniversary out side of my them just mentioning it ever December 15th.

Everyone has their own expectations. What's important in marriage is knowing what you spouse expect and then meeting that expectation.


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## EleGirl

Do you use some kind of electronic calendar like Outlook? But it on the calendar... start reminders a 2-3 weeks ahead of time... put it on repeat annually.


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## richardsharpe

Good morning 2ntnuf
No - she will really forget - that's what is so great about her (well one of the things).

Not easy to think of something special that I haven't already done, but I'll try




2ntnuf said:


> She deserves something special. Unfortunately, I have to add, she won't forget this. My ex 2 was similar with things. I could screw up as I am capable, and she would seem to just slough it off.
> 
> No, don't believe it. She was not a complainer at all. That's bad because it doesn't allow her to release some of the resentment. It caused her to hold it all in until she was smashing rings I saved for and purchased as gifts. She would throw things away or give them away. My things that I liked and wanted. I just found them missing.
> 
> I can tell you from my experience, I'd rather she sat me down and made me feel bad than discover months later that something I worked hard to purchase was gone or ruined.
> 
> I hope your wife isn't like that. I can't imagine anyone not having an ounce of resentment after that. Understanding and forgiveness is important here. I would expect a bit of resentment and anger. I would expect to show sorrow and remorse while asking for forgiveness. Believe me, I asked for forgiveness. I'm human.


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## soccermom2three

My husband forgot our anniversary a couple of years ago and to be honest it really hurt my feelings. I'm not one to make a big deal about Valentine's Day and any other Hallmark holidays but feel like anniversaries are important.


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## 2ntnuf

Not liked because it hurt you, but for it's reminder.

I think richard will make this up to her. He better...


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## heartsbeating

The most important thing is that you have one another. 

Enjoy next weekend and happy anniversary!


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## SunnyWife

Richard, that's awesome that your wife is like that!

I cannot imagine my Hubby forgetting our anniversary. We've always done something special even when all we could afford was to get a sitter (my nephews or nieces) and go to our favourite lake, get an ice-cream and watch a sunset together. Birthdays are also celebrated -- and to be honest we both grew up with these events being celebrated in the home. We are indeed products of our environments.

We never do anything for Valentines or any of those other made-up 'holidays' since we would rather do sweet things for each other all year long then feel obligated on a specific day.


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## murphy5

its a trap. she bought a voodoo doll, and is sticking pins in the doll's eyeballs right now.


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## SimplyAmorous

soccermom2three said:


> My husband forgot our anniversary a couple of years ago and to be honest it really hurt my feelings. I'm not one to make a big deal about Valentine's Day and any other Hallmark holidays but feel like anniversaries are important.


I think this could go both ways.. .I can understand how some could be Hurt ...and some NOT hurt ...

This is how I am... so long as I am feeling good between us every day.. the "I love you's" are flowing.. we cuddle, we talk... I can't see me getting hurt at all if he forgot the day...it was just a slip of the mind in that situation...time catches up so fast sometimes...and really a Day is just a DAY... we can make up for it anytime....

We were never ones to rearrange a schedule or ask for a day off work for an anniversary for instance.. -but celebrate when convenient -when he had a day off, or a couple in a row... 

Though if we WERE'NT GETTING ALONG...tensions in the air and he did nothing to acknowledge.. then this would hit me hard.. I could understand anyone feeling like that..


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## notmyrealname4

My husband always remembers our anniversary (26 years)

It's the positive side of him having a more critical, nitpicky nature.

He remembers important details.


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## Mr. Nail

Well to be honest I'm a forgetter. I missed my wife's birthday 2 years in a row. (the first 2 years) After that low expectations have been my salvation. Anything I actually remember is a bonus. 

I do get the feeling that the whole thing is a trap. A Hostage situation. Remember or else. To be fair though I agree not to get upset if she forgets steak and a blow job day.
MN


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## Meli33

I have forgotten our anniversary a couple of times over the past 13 years. Hubby didn't care....


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## notmyrealname4

Mr. Nail said:


> . . . To be fair though I agree not to get upset if she forgets *steak and a blow job day.*
> MN


^^^ Wouldn't that _at least_ be on your birthday, Father's Day, or on/around your anniversary?


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## thenub

It's not really a big deal. My wife has forgotten our anniversary more than she has remembered it. 
I have only forgotten it once. She didn't mind.


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