# This MAY help you ...



## hurtinme (Feb 16, 2012)

Ok were all really hurting in here this is the house of pain. So right now I cannot be bothered with anything friends family hobbies etc sound familiar yeah a know it must because I am not unique. Right motivation between zero and minus 10 so therefore I do nothing. Now I planned a country walk with a good friend of mine for today, I woke up and cudnt be arsed but my friend had gone to a lot of trouble re childcare etc and was relying on me so I had to go. Boy am i glad i did 3.5 country hill miles walking and talking I even laughed at one point. Now am tired and waiting to go to bed not thinking about anything other than the walk forcing myself to only allow walk thoughts into my head. Well what i am trying to say is we know we have no motivation at present and you know what you DON'T need any, just turn up and do it. Tomoz am goin the gym I know am going but don't want to so am just gonna turn up and see what happens. I am not thinking about doing anything from. Ow am just gonna do it, wish me luck, please try this it IS HELPING ME and i hope it helps all you nice people also good luck
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## sadwithouthim (Dec 8, 2011)

hurtinme said:


> Ok were all really hurting in here this is the house of pain. So right now I cannot be bothered with anything friends family hobbies etc sound familiar yeah a know it must because I am not unique. Right motivation between zero and minus 10 so therefore I do nothing. Now I planned a country walk with a good friend of mine for today, I woke up and cudnt be arsed but my friend had gone to a lot of trouble re childcare etc and was relying on me so I had to go. Boy am i glad i did 3.5 country hill miles walking and talking I even laughed at one point. Now am tired and waiting to go to bed not thinking about anything other than the walk forcing myself to only allow walk thoughts into my head. Well what i am trying to say is we know we have no motivation at present and you know what you DON'T need any, just turn up and do it. Tomoz am goin the gym I know am going but don't want to so am just gonna turn up and see what happens. I am not thinking about doing anything from. Ow am just gonna do it, wish me luck, please try this it IS HELPING ME and i hope it helps all you nice people also good luck
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Nice post to read for once....thank you.
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## cantmove (Feb 20, 2012)

Thank you for that. I too feel no motivation to do much even after I have long motivational talks with myself. But tomorrow I am going to start running again. I was blindsided with I'm leaving you three weeks ago in the middle of training for a 1/2 marathon. Well I quit training and yesterday was the marathon and I was sitting in my bed when my friends were running. I will not let this man take another damn from me. There is another 1/2 marathon in April in Pensacola and tomorrow is day one of training.


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## melissa68 (Feb 10, 2012)

Good for you! Sometimes you just have to make yourself get angry...pissed off at the one who left....pissed off enough to say exactly that....you are not taking another damn minute from me! On the days that I am busy and make something to do are the better days. 
Cliche but "the best revenge is a good life" right?


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

Honestly... you may hate to exercise. Start small and work your way up. It's so easy to do if you make little commitments to yourself...Just to you so YOU know if YOU let yourself down. I started with a mile (1 block) worked my way up to walking 4.5 miles then running 3.5 miles (40 mins and working my way down). First of all you are beating your past secondly you are GETTING IN SHAPE, [email protected] that feels AWESOME!


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## hilly2 (Jan 15, 2012)

This is true. Yesterday, I couldn't get out of bed. I spent all morning and most of the afternoon feeling sorry for myself. Finally at 3pm, I willed myself up, threw on my sneakers and went for a walk....and I just kept going and going. Walked uphill, downhill, got to my house and walked passed it, walked almost to the beach and ended up walking 6.3 miles. It changed my attitude and outlook for the entire weekend.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I love to walk but the depression over my marriage is making it hard for me to get out and do anything. I keep asking my husband to walk with him but his computer games are far more important.

Well today I did go for a walk and called my sister in Florida to keep me company. Having someone to talk to helped. Then afterwards I felt a bit better so I raked a rocks in my back yard.. we live in New Mexico desert. I put down pea gravel where the dog like to play. They kill all the grass and then carry the dust in their fur.. makes the house very dusty.

But the pea gravel has to be raked. I spent a couple of hours doing that. It's really good physical exercise. The dogs things it's quite entertining... they sit around watching me.

After all of that I felt a lot better and about 1/3 of the back yard is now well raked and looks great.

Yep, getting out and doing something physcal is very rewarding and spirit lifting. 

I'm thinking of flooding a 1/3 acre field we have and starting a huge flower and veggy garden on it.That should keep out ourdoors for months.


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

Good for you, EleGirl! I'm not crazy about exercise that 'feels' like exercise, either. Doing yard work or biking to the grocery store is a multi-tasking kind of thing that works well for some people. Though I did have a couple free passes to a gym and took Zumba classes. Fun, but man! I nearly killed myself tripping over my feet, LOL!


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## cabbage65 (Feb 14, 2012)

i am liking the inspiration here! i walk the beach year round but haven't lately, getting tired of all the cold walks. but it will be warmer this week! thanks hurt and good luck!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

cabbage65 said:


> i am liking the inspiration here! i walk the beach year round but haven't lately, getting tired of all the cold walks. but it will be warmer this week! thanks hurt and good luck!


I so wish I lived near a beach... well actually I live near the Rio Grande... we have a lot of beach... lots of sand. But the ocean left about 100,000 years ago.


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## CSeryllum (Jan 23, 2012)

Yea hiking and working out will certainly help you. I myself had a very down weekend...so I went running.

Saturday I did 16 miles. Sunday I did 5.

I feel good, and sore, and good....and it helps to pass the time. It works for me, hopefully it works for others.


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## hurtinme (Feb 16, 2012)

I was with my wife for 15 yrs during this time she was emotionally reliant upon me I am ( or was) a positive person with a good outlook on life and this was a key feature of mine for my wife as she was a little on the glass half empty side. I loved and maybe still do love her but i am unsure if it is love at this moment. Approx 4 years ago my stbxw father died and she took thos extremely badly e.g. Depression for a yeAr diring this time I tried everything I possibly could to help her as it was reallly hurting me to see her in so much pain. You could say it was at that point that Everything I done was solely for her MY LIFE WAS DEDICATED TO HELPING HER i felt her pain and was constantly upset and trying so hard to het her out of that state. Well after another 2 years and more personal disasters e.g . Loss of dog, family member and job I just became emotionally over attached to her. Am not saying I was perfect hubby here far from it I made lots of mistakes but what is clear to me is that in mu quest to make her happy or ok again I sacrificed ME the person I was I became addicted to trying to please her and I mean everything I done e.g. Cutting lawn I would think she will like that, tidying up the same, making tea, etc everything I done I sone to please. This is where now we are seperated I find it so hard to tidy up as there is no reward in it she not here to say thats nice, making tea the same. Everything i done was to me special because I was or am addicted to praise to her needing me being reliant upon me and rewarding me . This was my self worth or so I believed well actually still kinda do but am fighting it. Without her now nothing seems worth doing. Now that I have heard of codep and read lots around it i realise the terrible trap I am in. So each day. Ow I tell myself so long as she is happy she can do what she likes, and I do at least one thing for myself not just going through the motions e.g. Visiting my sister because I want to. Making a nice tea because I want a nice tea, this seems to be working a little and helping me but I do fear it may only be a temporary lift like so many over the past two months, but the old me would not think like that so hey its working a treat Nd its going to stay. No advice sorry but an honest case study.
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## hurtinme (Feb 16, 2012)

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## hurtinme (Feb 16, 2012)

Sorry wrong thread ha ha
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