# I Don't Want To Hijack Someone Else's Bad Day Thread



## WomanScorned (May 8, 2011)

Hi all. Need some support badly. BAD, BAD day. Cried all day and barely got any work done. Cried all day yesterday. I have clinical depression, and it's a fight just to get out of bed in the morning. It is being treated, but it's one of many reasons he left. He also has a young girlfriend that started as an EA and progressed. That's what hurts the most. I know so many of you can relate to everything I'm saying and I'm not alone, but I feel so alone right now. 

It has been 1 month since he moved out, and I still feel devastated, destroyed, etc. It takes everything I have not to beg him to come back, which my head knows is crazy, but my heart doesn't get. I just need some reassurance that it gets better. Thanks.


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## dante (Jun 2, 2011)

WS,

We all have bad days. I have had some really bad days since the W left, but it does get better. My W left about two months ago and though it hasn't gotten back to what I would call normal, I have gotten to the point where I can function through the day. Feel the emotions, recognize them and then try your best to let them go. We all hold on to a ton of guilt and we blame ourselves for the other person leaving. It is not your fault. It must be tough to have him with another woman, but it isn't about you, it is about him. He made that decision. Depression is totally fixable. I am living proof. Once I got on the right drug my outlook has totally changed. You just have to focus on you and do the things that make you feel good. Give it time, it will work out with or without him. Be happy (about whatever you can) you deserve it.


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## rebootingnow (May 3, 2011)

Yes, it does get better! 

There is no magic pill. Booze, drugs and Netflix  are only temporary fixes. Just try each day. Don't be too hard on yourself if you don't make forward progress all the time. You are human and you have emotions. 

I agree its demoralizing when the spouse can just go on without a care in the world. It's hard to see my wife move on so quickly, but as I found out she's had a 2 year head start in planning and getting emotionally ready or justifying her actions.

Just push yourself, stay on any meds the Doc gives you and keep at it!


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

I am bipolar so I disagree rebooting-meds basically saved me. Clinical depression and the like are pretty serious. Getting those sorted out makes your life 100% better. I hear so many people say "but I am not going on meds" which is fine, but that's a lot like saying "I am type I diabetic and I don't need insulin I can get through this without it."

Anyway WS I hope you're feeling better by the time you read this. I don't know what's in the air but a lot of us seem to be having a crappy day. I have cried a few times myself today. I have gone for two long walks, drank two glasses of wine and now I'm going to go soak in the tub. I'm trying everything I can to wear myself out so I can just go to bed.


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## rebootingnow (May 3, 2011)

staircase said:


> I am bipolar so I disagree rebooting-meds basically saved me. QUOTE]
> 
> What, you can't read my mind?  I was implying the illegal/casual kind of drugs. My last paragraph says do what the Dr. says and take your Meds (legal kind).


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

oops, looks like I can't read! Sorry


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

womanscorned:
It does get a little easier each day and much better each week. There are definitely times where you are so emotionally broken but it passes. And in time it is not like daggers twisting in your heart.

I am in an in-house divorce (we must sell this house) and when he is being kind, I get so confused. Yesterday, I refused to engage in small talk, ignored him completely and did not look at him. I feel so much better because I have set up boundaries in this incredibly difficult living condition. He seems to not care and today that is just fine because I don't have to look at the face.

It will get better it just takes time. 

Do all the things that comfort you, love yourself. Say it in the mirror.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

WomanScorned said:


> Hi all. Need some support badly. BAD, BAD day. Cried all day and barely got any work done. Cried all day yesterday. I have clinical depression, and it's a fight just to get out of bed in the morning.


This isn't really a comfort but if you can still cry that's ok. It's means you're not beating yourself up all the time. It means you're grieving and that can be healthy.


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## WomanScorned (May 8, 2011)

Thank you all for your great responses. 

I get so angry at him. I've asked nicely that he not expose my young girls to his 21 year old sexpot girlfriend and he just doesn't get it. It is hard enough to do this divorce to the girls, but throw in another kid (for that's what the twinkie is) in the mix after only 1 month apart and divorce not final? What is he thinking????? Am I jealous? Damn F'n straight I'm jealous and hurt and angry. 23 years down the drain for a 2 month romance that is getting 'serious' (his words tonight) with him turning 40 in December.

I do take medications and was recently hospitalized in April after he told me he wanted to leave me (for her). I didn't try suicide, but I was pretty damn close to it so I voluntarily checked myself in to a mental facility. First time I've ever been that out of control. Today almost felt like that day. And I plan to keep taking whatever works (prescribed drugs) to feel better. But right now just breathing and getting out of bed is about all I can manage, and some sad semblance of a job I should be doing better at, but can't concentrate on. I'd take some time off if I could, but I don't have any vacation days left after the hospital.


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

WS, hang in there. You are very strong for having the will power to get yourself into treatment. Kudos to you; many would not be brave enough to do that on their own.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## reindeer (Mar 24, 2011)

WS and everyone who has posted on this thread, I am sad to find myself posting here. 5 weeks into a separation planned originally,but threw husband out suddenly after suspected EA or possibly PA. Information from phone txts, but not conclusive.
First week bad, then we spoke agreed to meet. It was fine, discussed our finances,but had some fun too. Agreed to meet weekly (not to reconcile), just to get along so things don’t get messy. 
We were going out for a meal on Sunday, but I found proof of affair. Gift bought on e bay, and his car outside her house 05.00 hrs. Confronted him, he denied as they all do, all I wanted was honesty. All he has said to me last months all lies.
I am anxious today, can hardly get out of bed, have a full on work schedule 1 to 1 with sick people. Why has this set me back. I have completely cut contact with him now, but he is visiting our daughter while I am at work. Just the thought of him here......
I now know the finality. Just cant understand why even though I knew in my heart we were getting along last wek, nd now just because I have proof for sure I feel so bad. Nothing has really changed. In actual fact I feel worse. Oh and stupidly sent him a txt yesterday meant for my friend. Told her the account of what happened and wrote ‘but I still love the b’ !
I will think of all these posts when I am in between clients today, and hope I can gain strength and get through my day, knowing others are feeling the same. Once again thank goodness for this site!
I am not trying to hi jack your thread just needed to explain how I feel like you do


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## WomanScorned (May 8, 2011)

Reindeer: Knock yourself out! :smthumbup: Your story is similar to mine. I just found out that what I thought was a 3 month thing has been going on for a year. A whole year and I didn't know it. Well, actually I knew it, but I trusted the f'n b (not her, him) and figured that I was imagining things. Apparently I wasn't. Every time I saw her (saw her because she was his student at the college he teaches at and I picked up kids there sometimes) she looked really sheepish. How could I have been so stupid???? That's what gets me the most upset. If it weren't for the kids, I would have nothing to do with him. I wish I could have nothing to do with him. As it is I've been so angry when I see him I can barely be civil....actually not being civil at all, yanked my kids' stuff out of his hands today when he dropped them off (kids didn't see it they were busy in the yard). I'd deck him if I could do it without getting arrested or in front of the kids, and I'm not a violent person by nature. It's constantly amazing to me how quickly your best friend becomes your worst enemy....

Today was not good for me, either. I ended up sobbing on a table in the office....not one of my finer moments but a coworker was sooooo nice and talked with me for almost an hour.


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## reindeer (Mar 24, 2011)

WS why is it so -good? To know that someone else feels or understands just how you feel. I divorced when my boys were young and I understand the amount of contact you have to have, even if it is minimal, and all those parents evenings! 
My daughter is 16 so can make her own arrangements. 

However this has come with an unexpected side to it. Although I am pleased that he is seeing her, I am almost jealous, and angry that she has not turned against him. I know that is very wrong as a mother. I know this is a sign that she is managing to cope well under the circumstances, and that nobody wants to think about their father in a bad light. I t just makes me feel even lonlier.

I am sorry you had a bad day, but it is good that someone connected with you and spent time with you. I also did, cried so much when I got home and look dreadful today.

I am going to tell my mother in law today,then have the house alone. I used to love that.However now I like an hour or so to shower have a good cry and make a cuppa, then I want someone to come home.

There is a thread on here which you can post on when you feel like contacting WS, and I am going to post on that now, as I really want to speak to him but know it will do no good!
Take care and keep posting.


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## WomanScorned (May 8, 2011)

Better today after visiting with therapist. I was actually able to have a conversation with the Lying Sack of Sh-- without being too angry. I need him to sign papers to sell the house I'm in. As I was conversing, I noticed how old he's looking, and how he's getting fat....and how that was yucky (for lack of a better word)  does that mean I'm maybe getting some healing in? I sure hope so.


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## reindeer (Mar 24, 2011)

Glad you are feeling better today WS. Wish I could afford to talk to a professional. I think it is a good sign that you are noticing things which you don't find that attractive in him now. Keep all these things in mind, and next bad day bring them back up front. 
Hope your next day is a good one as well


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