# ? re money



## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

My 14 y.o. is living with her dad, as I've explained before. She texted me that she has no money and she prefers me to mail some to her! My condo is 8 blocks from the family home.

Obviously I won't mail her money, but I am not sure how to respond.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

"Come by and visit me sweetie." Or something similar.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

A 14 year old is old enough to understand that you give money to her father every month for child support, and that her allowance is to come out of that. I would not try to buy time with her or affection, as you'll just become an ATM. You could see about varying the support agreement to be that you'll give him $50 or $100 less each month and give her her allowance directly, if she says she's not getting one from him, but that will possibly cost you a legal battle. And if you don't get it in writing that it's ok for you do do that, he could go back to you and claim unpaid child support in the future. So don't just start reducing your payments to him.

C


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## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

Thanks, we have no formal support payments going on as yet. My ex is a very mentally abusive man and I had to leave due to depression/anxiety. Informally it's arranged that he gets so much a month from our joint savings. I'm not working due to stress right now. He wants to reconcile, but my nerves can't take him anymore.
I have no idea what I will owe for support, I am self employed but on private disability right now. He can claim spousal support as I make more, plus support for both kids as they are in school. 

He's done things like tell my associate who is working for me that I'm nuts and my kids want nothing to do with me, and that he can take the door off my office if he feels like it to gain access to my business, I own the building. I had to get the police come with me because he would not give me access to the house to get my winter things. A basic nightmare. Should left 4 years ago after I found out about his PA. My mistake and the kids and I are paying for giving him another chance.


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