# Sex how often do you have it?



## phantom (Jan 15, 2010)

Hi all

Just curious sex how many times do you have it , say in like a month period? I ask because my finance and I (As I stated before) Work opposite shifts so it's hard (Pardon the pun) To get the time together with the exception of Sunday / Monday nights .. This month we've managed to find the time three times although I'd like it to be more ...Anyone else care to chime in ?


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

twice a month, and not great quality.


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## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

My husband and I work opposite shifts. I work 9am-5pm and he works 4pm-12:30am. We still have sex like 3-4 times a week. Sometimes I wait up for him and sometimes he wakes me up when he gets home. We also have morning sex like once a week before I go to work.

On the weekends we sometimes have sex twice in one day.


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## phantom (Jan 15, 2010)

themrs said:


> My husband and I work opposite shifts. I work 9am-5pm and he works 4pm-12:30am. We still have sex like 3-4 times a week. Sometimes I wait up for him and sometimes he wakes me up when he gets home. We also have morning sex like once a week before I go to work.
> 
> On the weekends we sometimes have sex twice in one day.


See now that would be great granted for me she's up and out the door by seven and we have to children in the house.. She's off at 4.30 and I start work at 4.00-12.00.. Our real day off together are Sunday and Monday after she gets home from work ..Often on Sunday and Monday's by the time we get to bed after a day of running around and homework, etc she's too tired .. Last night her body hurt and so we didn't ....


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## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

phantom said:


> See now that would be great granted for me she's up and out the door by seven and we have to children in the house.. She's off at 4.30 and I start work at 4.00-12.00.. Our real day off together are Sunday and Monday after she gets home from work ..Often on Sunday and Monday's by the time we get to bed after a day of running around and homework, etc she's too tired .. Last night her body hurt and so we didn't ....


We have kids too! Our kids are 6, 4, and 2. I have to take the 4 year old to school in the morning so I'm out the door by 8:20. I set my alarm for 6am so I can get a quickie in before the kids wake up. I just wake hubby up with a hand or bj. He doesn't mind. 

After I go to work, DH has to get the 6 and 2 year old dressed so he can pick up the 4 year old at school by 11am. Then the 6 year old has to be to school by 12:50pm. Then he drops them all off at my mom's by 3:20pm so he can go to work.

I get off at 5 and go get the kids. Then I have to do the night shift with them (feed them, clean up, homework, baths, bed) and my husband comes home between 7:30 and 8pm for his dinner break. When he goes back to work and the kids are in bed it's ME time. 

I told him that whenever he wants it to just wake me up and I'm okay with it considering our hectic schedule. He has taken me up on my offer a few times! But a lot of the time I just stay up until he gets home and we have sex and go to sleep together. 

We know it's important to be together so we make time for each other. There are 24 hours in a day after all.


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## phantom (Jan 15, 2010)

themrs said:


> We have kids too! Our kids are 6, 4, and 2. I have to take the 4 year old to school in the morning so I'm out the door by 8:20. I set my alarm for 6am so I can get a quickie in before the kids wake up. I just wake hubby up with a hand or bj. He doesn't mind.
> 
> After I go to work, DH has to get the 6 and 2 year old dressed so he can pick up the 4 year old at school by 11am. Then the 6 year old has to be to school by 12:50pm. Then he drops them all off at my mom's by 3:20pm so he can go to work.
> 
> ...


Sounds like you have a good plan in place I have asked my fiance if I can wake her up when I get home before and the answer has always been negative, I guess it's just something I'm going to have to get used to . Granted we did have sex more when I was working days but now that I'm working late the last going on three years now that has clearly taken a hit


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## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

It was difficult for me at first. I started having a cup of coffee at like 3pm so I'd still be awake when DH got home or at least not that sleepy if he woke me up.

The thing is though, I have to make myself do this. It's not something that I naturally desire, but I know it is important for my marriage so I make the effort. 

You are going to have to make it clear to your fiance somehow that this part of your relationship is lacking and that you guys have to get on board with a better schedule which includes more sex. You have to make her understand how important it is to the relationship and how loved it makes you feel.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

When coupled with your other post - this is part of a problematic pattern. She is doing all the things a woman does when she is just not that into the guy she is with. 

She might feel that way because you are too nice/too accommodating / always worrying about what SHE wants. 

A NORMAL man is NOT ok with sex 3 times a month until he is maybe in his 60's. Until I turned 40 we were in the 3+/week mode. You are heading straight towards the "I love you but am not in love with you" outcome or worse she doesn't say it but shuts you off totally sexually without any explanation - just the never ending list of excuses women give when they lose their desire and are not yet ready to end the marriage. It may take a while for her to say it - but she is already feeling it to some degree. 

A BIG part of this is that you are coming across as pure beta. You need to find a way to add some alpha - that WILL make her chase you. 





phantom said:


> Sounds like you have a good plan in place I have asked my fiance if I can wake her up when I get home before and the answer has always been negative, I guess it's just something I'm going to have to get used to . Granted we did have sex more when I was working days but now that I'm working late the last going on three years now that has clearly taken a hit


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## mommy2 (Oct 27, 2009)

MEM11363 said:


> When coupled with your other post - this is part of a problematic pattern. She is doing all the things a woman does when she is just not that into the guy she is with.
> 
> A NORMAL man is NOT ok with sex 3 times a month until he is maybe in his 60's. Until I turned 40 we were in the 3+/week mode. You are heading straight towards the "I love you but am not in love with you" outcome or worse she doesn't say it but shuts you off totally sexually without any explanation - just the never ending list of excuses women give when they lose their desire and are not yet ready to end the marriage. It may take a while for her to say it - but she is already feeling it to some degree.
> 
> A BIG part of this is that you are coming across as pure beta. You need to find a way to add some alpha - that WILL make her chase you.


I can sadly admit I got to the point in our marriage where we were lucky if we had sex once a month. Circumstances led me to choose fixing my marriage or ending it. I chose my H and my marriage and SO glad I did!

For the past several months we've been averaging probably a minimum of 20-25 times/month. We're making up for lost time!


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## Choose2love (Jul 28, 2009)

It goes in spurts... sometimes 2-4 times in a week (8-12 times per month), and other times we will go a week or 2 without. We have never gone a full week with it every night, or a full week with every other night, especially on vacation.... when its less often than even our norm Hoping that will change!


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## hubby (Aug 10, 2009)

It has picked up quite a bit lately. Intercourse probably 3X a week with oral on some nights that we don't. It is such a change from what I am used to that I actually almost feel guilty for getting it so much


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## russ101 (Jan 8, 2010)

Wife and I are both in in our forties with 3 kids. Been married 18 years. Early in our marriage did it at least 13-14 times per month. Very good also, lots of kissing foreplay, oral, etc.,. Then wife started working. Sex dropped off to once a month (out of obligation, not good , left her shirt on, and would just pull her painties down and she would just lay there for 5 minutes motionless then would announce: you better hurry up, I want to go to sleep. Had to be pitch dark also.) I thought about having an affair, but never did. Then after 3rd child was born, and wife got laid off (right about the time my wife turned 40), our sex life picked up significantly (7-10 times per month, and like when we were first married). About 4 years ago though, my wife decided that she didn't want to kiss me anymore (passionately), or give oral. Never gave a reason either. In fact it went to about once or twice a month again. These are very quick sessions, and she really doesn't want to be naked when we do it. No kissing or anything. She just lays there motionless, and gives me about 5 minutes to do it, before she starts complaining. Because of this, I have stopped asking her for it (who wants to do it this way!). This is why we only do it once or twice a month. That is about all she will ask me for, and even then it is very bad. Thinking about having an affair again, if the opportunity ever comes up.


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## CaliRN (Jan 2, 2010)

On an average I would say 4-5 times a week not including when we have days off together and it could be 2-3 times that day of some sort of sexual activity.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

LOL. 0.33 to 0.5 times a month..... ;-)


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

We are in our 40's, 6 kids, do it 4-6 times a week (18-23 times a month). He is the only one working and I am more of the Pursuer. 

But it was not always this way, used to be once a week for almost 20 years of our marraige. Husband was never very aggressive & basically suffered in silence wanting more but not talking to me about it. This quote by Mem11363 describes my husband well She might feel that way because you are too nice/too accommodating / always worrying about what SHE wants. A shame, some women just do not get it, until their own sex drive goes up, I was clueless to how my husband felt--then. 

You can always make time! Even if we come home after 1:00Am from being out with friends, and he has to get up at 6:00am, he still makes time for me , if I want. Never complains. 

It is all in what you want to make it , doesnt matter how many kids, or how little time. As long as you have a Door, and you want something bad enough (both of you) , you WILL make time for it. And it Will BLESS your marraige.


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## Rob2380 (Dec 21, 2009)

My short answer is that we don't have it enough, but that we're working on it together. The issue is complicated, but I'm hopeful that we're on the right track. When we went away recently, we had sex every day, which was both wonderful and encouraging given what we've been going through the past year. I have recently been more forthcoming about what I would like in the bedroom, while my wife has been taking steps that should improve her libido and self-image. Together I think we'll find a frequency that is good for both of us.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

SA,
Great post. We are the same. God I love my wife - she is so hot. And she is so willing to lay me down and play my peripheral nervous system like a grand master plays the piano. 






SimplyAmorous said:


> We are in our 40's, 6 kids, do it 4-6 times a week (18-23 times a month). He is the only one working and I am more of the Pursuer.
> 
> But it was not always this way, used to be once a week for almost 20 years of our marraige. Husband was never very aggressive & basically suffered in silence wanting more but not talking to me about it. This quote by Mem11363 describes my husband well She might feel that way because you are too nice/too accommodating / always worrying about what SHE wants. A shame, some women just do not get it, until their own sex drive goes up, I was clueless to how my husband felt--then.
> 
> ...


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