# Really Sad, confused and need advice...



## cmmcafee (Dec 28, 2008)

I posted last week..titled The Best Advice comes from strangers... with my story, but I am so lost and confused.
I am so afraid to be a single mom, I am considering staying in the relationship. My husband has been treating me differently since our "talk" about staying in or marriage or not., he is nicer to me and spending more time with our son (a little)... I know I have to be strong, but I find myself trying to leave the house whenever I can to do nothing but drive and think. I dont have anything to do,. I do not have any friends here...and next month I will be moving again to another city where I know no one. (my son who has autism is going to attend a special school) so I am moving closer to that school. I keep thinking about being afraid to live alone with just my toddler..even though I currently take care or my son 100% of the time and I do everything myself, it's just so uncertain.

I feel so hurt that my H has cheated me out of things like a loving marriage and a husband that loves me... and now I am 32and the stress in my life has caused wrinkles...lol

I feel that I want to start dating right now...I keep dreaming at night about finding someone to love me... I haven't had love in so long, I am so worried that I will not find anyone who will love me and my son.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

Is your son your husband's as well?

Do you want to fix your marriage?

What needs to change for you to be happy?

draconis


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## honey28 (Aug 1, 2008)

Try to make your marriage work, if it is salvagable. Open up to your husband and let him know how you feel and what you need. I believe divorce should be a last resort, but don't let fear of being alone be the reason you stay. I've had the same feelings/fears before and I keep praying and telling myself that I will always have God and he will fill the voids of lonliness and when I am happy and whole and have grieved and healed from the loss of my marriage, He will send the right person my way. It may sound corny, but it's real (to me anyway). Just on a side note, I have a 35 yr old sister who was a teen mom and got married really young, they divorced after 3 kids and she was only 26 years old. She is now remarried (7 years), had a tubal ligation reversal, had a baby w/ her "new" husband, and they have a good life. Her life is not perfect by any means, but just an example that shows that life does go on and having a child or being over 30 etc... does not mean no one else will want to be with you. Good luck to you.


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## jonnydee (Jan 14, 2009)

cmmcafee - what a rough situation. I'm sorry.

You are afraid of being a single mom, yet it sounds like you already are one. Alone.

No matter what, you need to find yourself. You wanted your husband to make you feel loved and happy. You give yourself 100% to your child. What do you give to yourself? Sounds like you allowed yourself to disappear from the equation of making sure your needs are taken care of. 

Is your husband moving with you to the new town as well? That's a good sign--shows his commitment to your child. But if he isn't, that too is a pretty clear sign of where his commitments lie. But even if he does move with you, you need to carve out life for yourself.

Good luck.

jd


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