# spicing up sex life in marriage



## chad21 (Jan 31, 2016)

wanted to get input from the TAM community

wife and I ( she is 49, i am 53) been married 2 years.
second time around for both of us
very happy and in love
sex life has been excellent and keeps getting better, we are open to watching occasional porn and using some toys, lingerie etc to enhance our activities

about a year ago while in a hotel we were having a argument and when walking back to our room while in hallway heard very loud moaning and clearly the sounds of a couple having sex.
we both acted quite disturbed by it but when we got to out room the argument was forgotten and both of us were quite aroused by what we had heard and proceeded to have extremely hot activity

over past month we have discussed going to swinger clubs just to watch and see what happens there.
over last 2 weeks went to a club in city away from where we live so there would be no chance of meeting anyone we knew.
we had rules and there was to be no interaction with any others, male or female and we would just see what was happening inside these clubs and stay to ourselves

to keep it short, it was upscale place, nice bar, dance floor and it was couples only and a few single females were there were.
some ladies dressed in sexy outfits. we sat in couch and then walked to back area, which was quite dark and had rooms with couples having sex, some with the doors open so we could watch from the doorway, we could see and hear sounds and 
we both became quite aroused and went into a room and closed the door and had very hot and good sex.
we did this a couple of times during the evening and then went back to hotel and continued the activity for a few more hours.
over the next week we both have remained very aroused by what we saw and sex life seems to be on steroids and is really quite exceptional.
we are now thinking about going again in a few weeks when out of town.
we discussed rules and decided minimal interaction with others, we are not going to make friends or socialize and only when out of town.
we stay together and will watch others and if we feel like it go in a private room and have our own fun.
she does get excited by idea of leaving door open a bit so others can watch us doing it a little 
it has really enhanced our sex life which was already excellent.

I guess we are not really swingers but more voyeurs and perhaps some exhibitionism

what do you guys think?
dangers, concerns ?
should we stop this and act more normal ?


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

If you're both in agreement, and have and follow rules, then enjoy. Plenty of swingers limit themselves to watching - and perhaps being watched - and never take it further. The only risk is that one or both of you may eventually want to take it further - that's only a problem if only one of you wants this, and if that's the case it's best to just stop completely.

Oh, and avoid drinking too much, as that may lead you to decisions you'd regret the next day.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Married but Happy said:


> If you're both in agreement, and have and follow rules, then enjoy. Plenty of swingers limit themselves to watching - and perhaps being watched - and never take it further. The only risk is that one or both of you may eventually want to take it further - that's only a problem if only one of you wants this, and if that's the case it's best to just stop completely.
> 
> Oh, and avoid drinking too much, as that may lead you to decisions you'd regret the next day.


I absolutely get the voyeuristic aspect even though I won't participate.

MarriedButHappy is a good person to get advice from on this subject.

I would just echo his cautions about alcohol and going farther than you or your partner should.

It is very hot near the fire so be careful not to get burned.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chad21 (Jan 31, 2016)

thanks for advice
yes we will try not too get too close to the fire and get burned.

I have no interest in being with other women, however wife has expressed interest in having a female be involved with her with me present. 
we have specific rules and female will have to be alone/single and not with a male who wants to join in and it will only be for wife's pleasure.
I would not be able to do anything with this female other then help give my wife enjoyment.
we realize if we do find a suitable women and if this fantasy of hers is to be filled, it would be close quarters and I may end up brushing against her but no direct activity between me and the lady.
We would confine these activities to theses clubs once every 1-2 months and never take bring any of this home and never have any contact other then in clubs.

It may be hard to find the ideal women for this and good chance we never will but we have found discussing these things seems very erotic to us and that has been super charging out sex life

after having been in a prior long term relationship where sex was infrequent and the quality was poor and had endless arguments and excuses for avoiding sex, discussing how we can have better sex life with wife is very refreshing !!


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## chad21 (Jan 31, 2016)

thanks for advice
yes we will try not too get too close to the fire and get burned.

I have no interest in being with other women or her being with another man, wife denies any desire to be with another man however she has expressed interest in having a female be involved with her with me present if conditions are perfect.
we have specific rules and female will have to be alone/single and not with a male who wants to join in and it will only be for wife's pleasure.
I would not be able to do anything with this female other then help give my wife enjoyment/pleasure
we realize if we do find a suitable women and if this fantasy of hers is to be filled, it would be close quarters and I may end up brushing against her but no direct activity between me and the lady is to occur.
We would confine these activities to theses clubs out of our city once every 1-2 months and never take bring any of this home and never have any contact other then in clubs.

It may be hard to find the ideal women for this and good chance we never will but we have found discussing these things seems very erotic to us and that has been super charging out sex life

after having been in a prior long term relationship where sex was infrequent and the quality was poor and had endless arguments and excuses for avoiding sex, discussing how we can have better sex life with wife is very refreshing !!


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## ace21 (Sep 25, 2012)

this does sound like a good way to make one's sex life quite enjoyable and exciting.
My wife and I have also been very curious about going to a swingers club to see what goes on there.
You guys may be onto a good thing and my wife is getting excited about discussing going to a sex club!!!


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

This is probably one of the reasons why I sometimes watch porn with my wife.
If I did not have the porn, we might end up in a swingers club.
For me, this would be too close to the fire. I'm already playing with matches and don't want to add gasoline to it.


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