# Shrinking Vigina ?



## mel123 (Aug 4, 2012)

My wife when in her late 40s started experiencing painful intercourse and lube did not help… She had 3 children in her 20s and had never had any painful intercourse up to this point…. I am average to small, but she acted almost as if my pen1s was too large, ????? Never had been a problem before, if anything the opposite.

She told me she went to the GYN and the DR. used a tool to stretch her. No problems since.Was she telling me the truth? Or did she have some other underlying problem she did not want to talk to me about? The DR. took care of the problem... I do know the pain was real and I also know it went away.

Does a vigina shrink during menopause? I cannot find anything on Google about a shrinking vigina. Have any of you ladies in this age bracket, had this done?... Any you Guys have a wife that had it done?... Or is she lying and it was something else. If so what?........ I am ignorant about this, that’s why I am asking.


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

I'm not a woman or an MD but here's what I know.

Painful intercourse can be a LOT of issues, but shrinking isn't one of them. The vajayjay doesn't start to shrivel up and then needs to be stretched out again, as much as some men wished for that LOL.

There was definitely another issue and the more commone of them could be STD's, yeast infections, menopause (causing dryness which lube should've dealt with) and then more less common issues.

But shrinking isn't one of them sorry.

This is coming from a non md who has the y human.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

Atrophy of the vaginal muscles can cause "shrinkage " however a possibility is bauher's cysts ... i think that is the name of them. It is an infection of the vaginal glands near the perinium that causes subacious (fluid filled) cysts. Very painful, i know first hand. Doc can drain them in office.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Been a woman all my life, and have never heard of a tool that stretches out the vagina. Anyone else?


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

Yes, to answer your basic question, there are "vaginal dilators" which are used to help well, "stretch" the area. Some are medical in nature - like what the doctor used, and sometimes they are prescribed for use at home. 

This problem can occur because of menopause, from the muscles atrophying from lack of use, after surgery, from chemo, etc, etc. So, yes, this is a real medical thing. However, if you look up pictures of them, and thinking about needing to have a doctor do that, I'm sure you might understand why your wife didn't neccessarily want to discuss this in great detail. It's probably kind of embarrassing. 

Generally, this procedure goes hand in hand with some kind of hormone therapy, to stop it from becoming a recurring problem - so, if she hasn't, she might want to talk about that as well. (Or think about a natural alternative like - Estroven or whatnot.)


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

CandieGirl said:


> Been a woman all my life, and have never heard of a tool that stretches out the vagina. Anyone else?


A penis.:rofl:


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## mel123 (Aug 4, 2012)

Enjoli.....funny, but my thoughts too...... Since we were having intercourse 1-2 times a week how did the VeVay shrink and cause pain


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

mel - there are a lot of ideas here including my first thought, yeast infection although the cyst is very likely since it was all of a sudden "fixed". 

She had an issue that is very intimate and maybe thinks it will gross you out if you knew. She took care of it. Now I'm a TMI person and would openly share but she may feel embarrassed and not want to so if I were you I'd just leave it be.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

CantePe said:


> Atrophy of the vaginal muscles can cause "shrinkage " however a possibility is bauher's cysts ... i think that is the name of them. It is an infection of the vaginal glands near the perinium that causes subacious (fluid filled) cysts. Very painful, i know first hand. Doc can drain them in office.


:iagree:








_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

CandieGirl said:


> Been a woman all my life, and have never heard of a tool that stretches out the vagina. Anyone else?


LOL!


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

If Chuck Norris had a vagina he could crush Brazilnuts with it.


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## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

CandieGirl said:


> Been a woman all my life, and have never heard of a tool that stretches out the vagina. Anyone else?


Um......Only One TOOL I know of to stretch a vagina....:rofl::rofl::rofl:.


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

I would have thought some kind of pelvic inflammatory disease... 
but there really is a true medical condition as "Vaginismus".

From my understanding, it would be more than one "treatment" of a dialator... which infact, doesn't really stretch the vagina, but actually is to control the tightening of the pelvic floor muscle.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

How old is this woman with the shrinking vvvvvvvv???? Perhaps it hasn't shrunk at all. As women age and go through the stages of menopause, they can lose natural lubrication that makes intercourse very painful. Fortunately, I won't have that problem, as you need to be having intercourse to actually experience any pain.


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## mel123 (Aug 4, 2012)

She was about 48 at the time. That was about 5 years ago. I never questioned what she said at the time, However I have caught her in several lies and am starting to wonder ,if she lied about that.

I also found out that she had "crabs" a few years ago and didn't tell me, until recently (kinda slipped out)she said she probably got them off a toilet seat or trying on clothing at a clothing store.

cant believe she would cheat on me, but I am now having depression/Anxiety, and starting to wonder if she did.

Any evidence would be long gone by now.I don't want to accuse her if she is innocent, and cant prove it if she did.When you get depressed it hard to keep your mind from having reoccurring, unreasonable thoughts.... But then again whats reasonable?


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## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

mel123 said:


> She was about 48 at the time. That was about 5 years ago. I never questioned what she said at the time, However I have caught her in several lies and am starting to wonder ,if she lied about that.
> 
> I also found out that she had "crabs" a few years ago and didn't tell me, until recently (kinda slipped out)she said she probably got them off a toilet seat or trying on clothing at a clothing store.
> 
> ...


WAIT! Youre asking us about something that happened 5 years ago?!?!?


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## mel123 (Aug 4, 2012)

yes but its NEWS to me,........ I thought about asking her to get me the DR records to clear my mind.But that my be an unwise request.At the time she said she had a rash, but lied , it was crabs.

I was also thinking the VeVay was not shrinking but inflamed with some kind of std..... I am ignorant on this topic


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

There's only so much people can tell you.

1 - Yes, there are medical problems that can cause "shrinkage." 

2 - Yes, there are practices for doctors to help with this. 

However, what exactly is going to set your mind at ease? Finding out if the shrinkage was cased by an STD? That isn't going to clear up the whole issue that your wife had - CRABS-. The "I got it from a toilet seat" is the oldest, and lamest attempt at a cover up, since I think - the toilet was invented. 

I don't want to bring this party down, but - I'm sure its pretty certain your wife cheated on you. However, as you point out, any evidence is likely gone, and - she's apparently decided to lie about it. You can't request your wife's medical records without her permission. And - given my assumptions, I really doubt she'll request them for you. 

So, with the new revealed knowledge, the question is about what to do with it. What else has your wife lied about?


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

mel123 said:


> yes but its NEWS to me,........ I thought about asking her to get me the DR records to clear my mind.But that my be an unwise request.At the time she said she had a rash, but lied , it was crabs.
> 
> I was also thinking the VeVay was not shrinking but inflamed with some kind of std..... I am ignorant on this topic


crabs ....she was cheating on you?


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

mel123 said:


> She was about 48 at the time. That was about 5 years ago. I never questioned what she said at the time, However I have caught her in several lies and am starting to wonder ,if she lied about that.
> 
> I also found out that she had "crabs" a few years ago and didn't tell me, until recently (kinda slipped out)she said she probably got them off a toilet seat or trying on clothing at a clothing store.
> 
> ...


Dude........just dude.......

Your wife told you she got crabs and you let her off the hook? What kind of snoopage are you doing here? A woman like that has probably been gaming you for years.

Take the blinders off. Check her phone/texts/emails/FB messages. Get a keylogger and VAR. And be prepared for the shock of your life.

I'm not saying it's not possible to get crabs from a toilet seat, because it is. But it is not common...at all. Especially if she's been lying about other stuff, and hiding this painful sex thing from you would be really suspicious after that.


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

mel123...

I am sorry you are going thru this.. but like you said it is long in the past... Even if she was the most forthright woman & everything was on the up & up 5 years ago... It is not practical that she would keep these medical records. It could be costly for her to request them from the docs office. - Most likely these records are archived off site at some storage facility.

And usually once archived, they are only requested if there is some pending litigation going on.

Now ask yourself, do you really want to ask her for these records? I mean,.. you either trusted her back then or you didn't. Just to prove to you now "to ease your mind" is NOT going to help your depression.

Your depression now is making you question things about your wifes love & loyalty. Do you feel that you are "not worthy" of her love suddenly? And you think her proving that she was not lying would help you feel more worthy? Or is it the other way around and you are questioning if she is worthy for you to keep loving?

Well... 1) You are worthy to be loved. Your depression does not change that. True, it might be more difficult to live with some of your symptoms now, but it does not effect your worthiness of being loved.
2) if you are questioning if she is worthy of being loved.. That's a bit more hairy... Is your depression causing these feelings that maybe she cheated?? ... Or.. Did you always have those feelings in the back of your mind, and now they are just being amplified by the depression & depressive thoughts?

When you are in that cycle of running bad thoughts thru your mind over & over again, you've got to break that cycle. Coming here and having other people who have never met your wife, or seen your years of marriage telling you that she is cheating.. or cheated on you in the past.. is not going to help get your mind off of this. It's not going to break the overactive thought pattern.

Go find a good book to get lost in. make yourself VERY busy with work. Get thoughts to a calm level. 

You already know in your heart whether you believe her or not about the past. You already know in your heart if you are going to forgive & carry on, or if you are going to confront the situation and move on without her. But first, get the depression controlled & talk to a counselor. Please.


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## halfcentury (Sep 28, 2012)

I am a member of that age group and yes I have experienced a similair situation with the painful intercourse. As we age we lose elasticity. Yes it is the same thing that causes wrinkles. I experienced severe pain as well as some tearing and bleeding. My GYN prescribed a hormone cream to be applied regularly to increase elasticity. For me this wasn't enough and surgery was required to reshape the vaginal entrance. That thankfully cured the issue. I have never personally heard of a process that "stretches" as tissue doesn't stretch easily but I wouldn't totally discount it either. It is possible there were other issues and sometimes it can be too embarassing to share details. I don't necessarily tell my husband everything that goes on with me especially as I age. Give her the benefit of the doubt and move forward if things are going well now.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

"...... A common misconception is that pubic lice are spread easily by sitting on a toilet seat. This would be extremely rare because lice cannot live long away from a warm human body and they do not have feet designed to hold onto or walk on smooth surfaces such as toilet seats........"

Source:
Centre For Disease control & Prevention
CDC - Lice - Pubic "Crab" - General Information - Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

COguy is correct
Many things wrong with her story.


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## cantmove (Feb 20, 2012)

You really need to do some investigating quickly. She's not tellng you the truth. And whatever she's catching she's sharing with you. Sorry you're going through this


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## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

CandieGirl said:


> Been a woman all my life, and have never heard of a tool that stretches out the vagina. Anyone else?


A dilator. But you use them over time. Its not like a one time thing and your fixed.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

During the menopause the walls of the vagina can become thin and they can tear easily if not lubricated. This would cause a woman to tense up during intercourse, thereby making penetration extremely difficult. Perhaps your W's doctor gave her a course of pessaries or a lubricant which has helped with the problem? Dilators are usually worn for specified periods of time, and it's unlikely the doctor achieved the effects of one during a routine examination. http://www.vaginismus.com/products/dilator_set?gclid=CMjk5ZWj3rICFSPHtAod-V8AiA


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

CandieGirl said:


> How old is this woman with the shrinking vvvvvvvv???? Perhaps it hasn't shrunk at all. As women age and go through the stages of menopause, they can lose natural lubrication that makes intercourse very painful. Fortunately, I won't have that problem, as you need to be having intercourse to actually experience any pain.


true...hey, just noticed we're in the same city....lol


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

cantmove said:


> You really need to do some investigating quickly. She's not tellng you the truth. And whatever she's catching she's sharing with you. Sorry you're going through this


It doesn't sound like a std at all. It sounds more like dryness from menopause, it's very common otherwise the pharmacy's wouldn't have a whole shelf dedicated to just that. And it's embarrasing for a woman to go through anything wrong down there..


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## mel123 (Aug 4, 2012)

we use lube about 75% of the time, the other 25% she creates enough of her own, if we take our time.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

mel123 said:


> yes but its NEWS to me,........ I thought about asking her to get me the DR records to clear my mind.But that my be an unwise request.At the time she said she had a rash, but lied , it was crabs.
> 
> I was also thinking the VeVay was not shrinking but inflamed with some kind of std..... I am ignorant on this topic


Totally missed this post. Sorry bud, she is 99% likely to be cheating on you. You need to be snooping. Prepare yourself for some bad sh*t, this has probably been going on a long time.


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## missmolly (Jun 10, 2012)

Vaginal atrophy or shrinkage is a common occurrence at menopause and is a result of diminishing hormone levels. This can be rectified with hormone replacement therapies, either oral, transdermal (skin patches) or locally with vaginal creams. 
Dilation may be done with a series of vaginal dilators which incrementally increase in size. They may done in a Dr's rooms, in surgery in the OR or at home. Not sure how useful a one off use of dilators would be.


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

I think you should also get an STD test just in case... That crab stuff... Sounds bullcrap.


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