# Husband throws juice on my face



## Rainingqueen13 (6 mo ago)

Been married for 13year 3rd big fight the other day. He was mad I yelled at my kid and I keep denying I didn't yell. So he throw half a glass of juice in my face. I am so mad about that and he said he is mad too about me lying and he said he will do it again lying in front of my son. 

He has anger issues and he is stressed out right now about a big pay cut. I am still mad and thinking to divorce him. I don't know if I really want a divorce. I love him and my family and we barely fight. 

I don't make much. I will barely afford stuff. But we have assets.

Any advice is much appreciated.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Rainingqueen13 said:


> Been married for 13year 3rd big fight the other day. He was mad I yelled at my kid and I keep denying I didn't yell. So he throw half a glass of juice in my face. I am so mad about that and he said he is mad too about me lying and he said he will do it again lying in front of my son.
> 
> He has anger issues and he is stressed out right now about a big pay cut. I am still mad and thinking to divorce him. I don't know if I really want a divorce. I love him and my family and we barely fight.
> 
> ...


@Rainingqueen13 Welcome to TAM. I wish it were under better circumstances though.

I would say there are 2 problems here that need to be addressed.

First, you and he should communicate and be on the same page about child issues and boundaries for corrections. What he calls yelling you don't (apparently). But you and he should get on the same page with what is ok and not ok. How old is your son? Also... being opposed to one another is never ok in front of your son. That should happen behind closed doors.

Second, His anger issue has crossed a line in my opinion. Throwing <anything> at your spouse is _not_ ok. He needs to get into some anger management counseling to get a better handle on that. Fortunately, you don't fight much but that doesn't take away from the magnitude of the issue. I would make this a firm requirement for him. His current stress issues factor into the "why" he lashed out, but the "what" (his response) to the problem was not acceptable.

Best of luck to you!


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

What he did was an assault. I would make anger management a condition of staying married. Meanwhile get yourself a better paying job in anticipation of having to get divorced.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

So you're basically saying you'll continue to stay with this abusive, disrespectful ass-hole because you can't afford to be on your own.

Got it.


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Rainingqueen13 said:


> Been married for 13year 3rd big fight the other day. He was mad I yelled at my kid and I keep denying I didn't yell. So he throw half a glass of juice in my face. I am so mad about that and he said he is mad too about me lying and he said he will do it again lying in front of my son.
> 
> He has anger issues and he is stressed out right now about a big pay cut. I am still mad and thinking to divorce him. I don't know if I really want a divorce. I love him and my family and we barely fight.
> 
> ...


please seek counseling. The person I feel for is your child. Your child should not be subjected to this childish behavior from the both of you. How you are living is no way to live.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

If a stranger did that to you in a restaurant, you’d be able to have them arrested for assault. This is why I don’t like the term “domestic violence,” because it implies that it’s not as serious when a spouse does it.

If you stay, this will only get worse. Once an abusive person knows you’re not going to hold them accountable, they’ll keep abusing you. I don’t care if you “yelled,” physical abuse is not something anyone should tolerate in a relationship. (or abuse of any kind, really)


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

*Deidre* said:


> If a stranger did that to you in a restaurant, you’d be able to have them arrested for assault. This is why I don’t like the term “domestic violence,” because it implies that it’s not as serious when a spouse does it.
> 
> If you stay, this will only get worse. Once an abusive person knows you’re not going to hold them accountable, they’ll keep abusing you. I don’t care if you “yelled,” physical abuse is not something anyone should tolerate in a relationship. (or abuse of any kind, really)


A man who will strike you across the face or push you will eventually kill you. You're so right, these things start slow and get worse over time until it's too late. Walk away. Now.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

TexasMom1216 said:


> A man who will strike you across the face or push you will eventually kill you. You're so right, these things start slow and get worse over time until it's too late. Walk away. Now.


Exactly my thought. If he will do that, what is next? I doubt any abuser jumps straight to murder. There is an escalation that starts with something like this.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Rainingqueen13 said:


> Been married for 13year 3rd big fight the other day. He was mad I yelled at my kid and I keep denying I didn't yell. So he throw half a glass of juice in my face. I am so mad about that and he said he is mad too about me lying and he said he will do it again lying in front of my son.
> 
> He has anger issues and he is stressed out right now about a big pay cut. I am still mad and thinking to divorce him. I don't know if I really want a divorce. I love him and my family and we barely fight.
> 
> ...


Counseling. But since finances could be an issue, try relationship books like Love Busters, The Five Love Languages, etc.

I would personally divorce before tossing my drink at my partner.

It sounds like neither of you can afford one right now?


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

Rainingqueen13 said:


> Been married for 13year 3rd big fight the other day. He was mad I yelled at my kid and I keep denying I didn't yell. So he throw half a glass of juice in my face. I am so mad about that and he said he is mad too about me lying and he said he will do it again lying in front of my son.
> 
> He has anger issues and he is stressed out right now about a big pay cut. I am still mad and thinking to divorce him. I don't know if I really want a divorce. I love him and my family and we barely fight.
> 
> ...


It sounds like his pay cut and you making little money is causing anger and fighting in your marriage. His behavior cannot be excused, and could escalate. You need to get a budget and both handle the finances and learn to communicate in a healthy way. Maybe see a marriage counselor if you can afford it.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

P.S. if you have any control over the fights (it sounds like you might since there have been very few) please try and keep things from getting heated for your sake and especially your child's.

As much as you are probably feeling distraught, it is even worse for your child to hear and see you both going at it.

It would help if you gave more details about yourself and your situation.

Our advice is only going to be as good as what information we have to work with.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

The juice in the face is not so big of a deal. It’s the total la k of respect and love for you that worries me. Didn’t even apologize but doubled down? Heck, your yelling is a problem but him throwing juice in your face isn’t?
People jump all over this— he’s an abuser, he’s going to hit you, he’s going to KILL you….. ok whatever.
Three arguments in how many years? That’s not really all that bad at all. It’s his reaction AFTER the argument that is suspect to me.

And yes, I agree that if you allow this with no consequences, it very well could escalate into more arguments and disrespectful behavior. We train people how to treat us.

He isn’t the one that gets to run roughshod over you when dealing with your son. That, like everything between you, is team work.

Better figure out how to work as a team. He has better figure out how to deal with his problems rather than taking out his anger on you.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Rainingqueen13 said:


> Been married for 13year 3rd big fight the other day. He was mad I yelled at my kid and I keep denying I didn't yell. So he throw half a glass of juice in my face. I am so mad about that and he said he is mad too about me lying and he said he will do it again lying in front of my son.
> 
> He has anger issues and he is stressed out right now about a big pay cut. I am still mad and thinking to divorce him. I don't know if I really want a divorce. I love him and my family and we barely fight.
> 
> ...


Why don't you both take an online anger management course. It's inexpensive and might make you both have better control. 

Or you could take a parenting course together so you're on the same page parenting. 

Or you could spend a bunch of money with a marriage counselor.

Or you could get yourself a job making more money and leave your husband.


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## Armandocorey (6 mo ago)

Hi everyone


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