# Finances and stuff after divorce?



## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

How is your financial situation after divorce? Was it easy to get back on your feet, or were you never knocked off to begin with?

I've been divorced for over a year. I have a good job, but having to give a hunk for child support doesn't leave a lot. Luckily, we had an old family house that I moved into free of charge. It's an old dump, but at least it's a place to live. If not for that, I'd probably be in financial pain. The thing is, I don't see it changing much until the child support ends in 7 years. I don't have any oil wells in my future.

Does anyone else find it difficult?


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## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

Oh hellllls yes its tough.
If it werent for the help of family and friends I wouldnt be in a house. 
Ive taken on a lot of the debt too, so im hopeful that once its paid off things will be better.
holding on though!


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

She moved out, I pay a good chunk of child support, I had to find a renter to make the budget work and keep the house. She is (and was while we were married) self-employed, however I'm beginning to suspect I was the one actually paying her wages since I seem to be so much better off financially now that she doesn't have my bank account to buy things from. My finances didn't miraculously improve, my credit card balance has gone up but a lot of that was to pay all the legal fees and other costs of separation, I just seem to have more time and money to do the things I want to do now.


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## gonefishin (Oct 7, 2011)

Divorce, financially destroys most families. It is always cheaper in the long run to figure out how to make that marriage work.

I think this post is great. I know it is to late for you, and I wish you the best of luck. Start a small business on the side or get a part time job so you can rebuild your finances.

This is the type of post on this forum that makes people think.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

I'm doing "ok", but things are tight.

I don't expect that my 1999 Dodge Caravan is going to attract any chicks my way anytime soon, but its paid for!

I'm in the process of refinancing my house right now, which should get me to a point where I can start to chip away at my debt.

I've wondered how many people get back into relationships so quickly just to find someone to share expenses with.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

nice777guy said:


> I'm doing "ok", but things are tight.
> 
> I don't expect that my 1999 Dodge Caravan is going to attract any chicks my way anytime soon, but its paid for!
> 
> ...


my 94 voyager certainly didn't attract any chicks. I borrowed my Brothers 4x4 Tundra and I got so many more glances! I was kinda surprised to be honest. Anyhow, the night before new years a drunk driver made a left hand turn right in front of me, the 94 Voyager is no more. I ended up replacing it with a 2010 Fusion (16 year upgrade felt pretty darn good) however I will warn you that the Fusion doesn't attract chicks at all either.

If I ever decided to move in with or marry some lady she will be earning 6 figures, I should probably look at upgrading to some German vehicle to attract something like that.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

It's not surprising that things get tough for a while, as each of us has to learn to live on one income again or, probably tougher, learn to live on 1/2 an income (if one parent has been a stay-at-home mom or dad). 

Too many people get stuck on what they "should" be doing if divorced. Living on their own, for example. Living alone is very expensive, so having a roommate is a good way to start--as you learn to adjust your spending, the cushion of the roomie's rent contribution will help you make ends meet. 

It does not have to be this way forever. Think and plan creatively in the first years after the divorce, and you will be able to move on from that eventually (of course, this is assuming you are financially savvy and responsible, so you know how to live w/in your budget. Losing your job, on the other hand, is an entirely different crisis, not due to the divorce, and that too requires a whole lot of new strategies). 

There is a big difference between being "financially destroyed" and having to adjust to a new financial reality. I've enjoyed the process of adapting to life on the income I earn. It's meant some sacrifices, but they have been worth it in the long run.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

Speaking of being with someone new to pay the bills, child support is supposed to be the equalizer, but its odd as to how the person getting it always seems better off than the person paying it. Especially if the receiver re-marries someone with a decent income. Then they have two incomes 'and" a check each month.


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## carol (Mar 8, 2011)

Yes, it is difficult. Many life events cause havoc with our finances. The most important thing to remember is to watch your expenses, especially the wants vs needs. I have some tricks like if I see something I want I wait 48 hours and if I still want it I buy it. Most of the time I don't. And I always ask, do I really need this. And the small things really do add up! Dinners out, lattes, going to the movies, etc. It is a lot easier to cut expenses than to find more income. 




southbound said:


> How is your financial situation after divorce? Was it easy to get back on your feet, or were you never knocked off to begin with?
> 
> I've been divorced for over a year. I have a good job, but having to give a hunk for child support doesn't leave a lot. Luckily, we had an old family house that I moved into free of charge. It's an old dump, but at least it's a place to live. If not for that, I'd probably be in financial pain. The thing is, I don't see it changing much until the child support ends in 7 years. I don't have any oil wells in my future.
> 
> Does anyone else find it difficult?


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

My stbxh would always accuse me of only wanting him for his money/property/extra stuff he imposed (wanted to give and when I objected said I was preventing him from bonding, etc.) on my kids (Chuck E Cheese, DVD's, expensive dolls, clothes, promising Disney World - to which I put my foot down firmly! older son driver's ed against my desire, and also half a laptop making me look bad for not picking up the rest so I did...) as a result of all this, I lived very frugally, shopping at thrift stores for myself, cooking at home, driving an old vehicle and going to the city gym, etc. Well, now it seems like I'm living in the lap of luxury...

I also have more time for work and less worries about it causing a hassle in the marriage...for some reason because i was self-employed and on a contract, he took this to me that whenever he had free time and his plans with climbing partners didn't work out, I should always juggle my plans to accommodate his. Or he would want to message/email/call me when I could be working. Then with the cheating, and other stuff, my work tanked. I couldn't think. Now that he's out of the picture, my situation is a lot better, and it is solid. The income might not be more, but I get to 'live' with 100% of it. Makes a world of difference. I live on under 2K a month, and I have 2 kids. It's a lifestyle choice, I could take a job with less flexibility and more hours and more pay, but there would be a huge tradeoff. As I worked a lot of professional jobs when I was younger, I'm not worried about Social Security right now...and will catch up with retirement income later.


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