# easy question...hard answer????? WTF??



## lost1234 (Aug 24, 2009)

as in my other threads i guess my husband and i are somewhat spearated...somewhat meaning he still does everything he should as a husband and father, but must stay somewhere else to get some space and regain himself.

WE had been looking to move, to get our children back into a neighborhood instead of so far out in the country. today he informs me he may have found a place...heres the question...if everything we discuss includes the we's and us's, does he just need to figure himself out...is this a mid life crisis??? i could scream. just want him to do what HE NEEDS TO DO AND COME HOME!


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## MBuck26 (Sep 13, 2009)

It is possible that you have smothered him all out , I get that feeling alot when i am around my wife alot ..geez ..I wanna move to the other side of the earth far away from her . Instead I have created my own room with all of my toys, and gadgets, and things I enjoy and when it becomes too much I escape into my hideout for relief. until I am ready to be smothered again ..she does'nt mean any harm by it ..she just loves me and my company . she say's I am her bestfreind, she is mine too but i will never tell her that because then she will just smother me more ..lol... at this point honey all you can do is pray and wait it out ..When a man truly makes up his mind .and i mean truly ..then there is no convincing him otherwise, until he has sorted himself out .. Sometime I think women tend to forget that we as men handle our emotions differently , and sometimes we use unfamiliar methods to get our point across ..There is things I do to get my wife to detach from me and not be so dependant upon me for life suffiencincy, im always pushing her away ..but its kinda normal now after a few years.. I really dont know the whole story so im just kinda shooting in the dark here , however , I actually have done what your husband is doing and it actually worked for me ..Me and wifey split for 6 months .. I needed to see if this was really truly what i wanted .. come to find out instead of working on my marriage i was close to giving up on it .. I had plent women after me and I had them all . i dove head first into trouble up to my ears and head . Come to find out after having all those women i realized that all they wanted was sex and they didnt love me or care about me or even do half of the things my wife did. then i seen my wife with another man and I was crushed , especially when i later found out that . he hit her ..w.t.f.? I never hit my wife and this loser she was dating has the nerve.. my life went downhill , more ,partying , more drugs and alchohol , Until i faced the music , me and my wife were lost without eachother , She called me daily pleaing to come back ,but my pride wouldnt allow me to accept , I went on as far as i could until I could'nt sleep anymore at night . even when the sun came out my world was DARK .. I.anyways after going back into the world i realized again why i had married my wife ..there was nothing in the world for me anyways but an early grave , Not to mention How God punished me for being with all those women i caught an S.T.D. thats right ..and guess who took my little crying ass to the clinic ?? my wife ..yup...thats when i begin seeing that sometime you gotta lose something to really realise what you have ..Maybe he is just feeling out his options , if it's meant to be it will...I cant see sometimes how my wife stay's with me i am such a selfish douche ..and she says Babe cause i love you ..it was never her idea to break-up but mine .. thats what I get for thinkin the world had somethin better for me ..there is too much oppurtunity in america for some people to pass it up there desires wont allow them to simply stay put in one spot when the world around you is constanly moving and changing .. for men sometimes we feel as if we are missing out .. plus television does a good job reminding us of how many beautifull women we passed up signing our life away at the alter ...this was long sorry but hope i helped..


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## stoomey74 (Sep 20, 2009)

I too have left to find myself. My wife and I are having problems, I moved out to stay with a friend. I go and help the kids with homework and take them out.

I am in a position of trying to decided if I should stay in my marriage. Alot has happened and right now I have the ball in my court. Maybe he is trying to figure this out himself or he is waitng for you to say u want a divorce because he can;t say it.

Just some thoughts.


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

That is just one you will have to ask him. Like it was suggested above, ask if you think you guys need a spare room for him to go in if he needs some space. 

My husband has his XBOX 360 and he also goes to the gym by himself to get some away time. I try not to crowd him when he comes home, but we have now gotten to a point where he can at least tell me, hey you are on overdrive, I need a minute to relax. 

It sounds like it you are making plans together that he is either still confused or that he is thinking you will still be together, so I suggest a nice dinner together and just simple questions, simple answers. Don't push for explanations right off the bat, just for together or not kinda stuff. Good luck honey!


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