# About to lose my mind, no one to turn to



## Brittney2020 (Jun 26, 2018)

I've been wirh my husband 16 years, married for 11 years with 2 small kids. We have been through so much. I am at the point where i blame him for the majority of our issues and considering divorce. I have never been so unhappy in my life and can no longer be supportive BUT I do not want to break up our family. There have been so many challenges from the beginning that we have managed to get through..hospitalized with first pregnancy, extremely poor treatment from his family (now they adore me), breast cancer diagnosis, chemo, etc.., birth of 2nd baby right before diagnosis..so very hard on me, but the biggy..he was convicted of a white collar felony and served jail time..he insists, he is innocent but had to plead guilty to avoid a lot ...SO... he says he has tried and cannot find employment at all...he has gone through our savings, we have sold what we can, his family was supporting us for 4 years (which I did not know about until recently) but got fed up)..my family has loaned him a lot, credit cards are overdrawn, he has pawned anything of value, he has overdrwan all accounts..most of which is in my name..so my credit is screwed..I am taking care of 2 kids..one with ADHD, no estrogen in my body so im insanely tired all the time..I see no hope..he keeps saying ..don't worry...but his moods and and the pressure is too much..any advice please!


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## PaulB (Jun 26, 2018)

Is it that he can't find a job, or he can't find a job that's good enough for his ego? Not meaning that to sound harsh, but most of us, if we are honest, look at some jobs out there as being beneath us. Lots of people, probably more men, define themselves as far as self worth by what their occupation is. He has to get a job somewhere. swallow his pride and just do it. That's step 1 of anything maybe getting better. Move somewhere else if a decent job is there. He needs to work for the money but also for his own mental and emotional well being. He may also need to talk to a counselor...which is something men love being asked to do. If you go to church or used to, maybe at the least he could find a good men's group through a church, if he is resistant to see a counselor. If he will consider a counselor, I'd suggest going to a male one.

Anyway, for different reasons, him getting a steady job is paramount to getting your relationship and your family back on track.


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## C3156 (Jun 13, 2012)

PaulB said:


> Is it that he can't find a job, or he can't find a job that's good enough for his ego? Not meaning that to sound harsh, but most of us, if we are honest, look at some jobs out there as being beneath us. Lots of people, probably more men, define themselves as far as self worth by what their occupation is. He has to get a job somewhere. swallow his pride and just do it. That's step 1 of anything maybe getting better. Move somewhere else if a decent job is there. He needs to work for the money but also for his own mental and emotional well being. .


^ This is paramount. There are jobs available, he may have to stoop and find a "blue" collar job for a while. Flipping burgers sucks but is brings in some cash.

The other thing I would have you consider is what does your husband bring to your marriage?


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