# Who drives?



## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

Something that I've been noticing the last few years is how often when there's a couple in a car, the woman drives.

Now, I'm not very hung up about gender roles. My wife earns just as much as I do. I do the laundry. I'm the one the kids always come to when they have a problem. My wife is the one who leaves her underwear on the floor. I don't pay any attention to all of the "the man has to be the leader" stuff. Of course women should be paid the same as men for the same job. 

I don't think everything was better back when I was young (I'm 60). I'm aware that things change, and I'm fine with that. I think change is usually for the better.

But, I find this really strange. When I was 17 I had a friend with no car who was dating an 18 year old with a car. When she came to pick him up, she slid over and he drove (admittedly, that seemed a little strange even back then).

I do think that relationships work a little better when the control or dominance factor tilts a bit towards the man. I believe (perhaps wrongly) that most women would prefer this.

It just seems so emasculating for the man to be the passenger while his SO is in control. Doesn't the woman think her guy is a bit of a weenie? Maybe it's her car? If so, why doesn't he drive his? If they're married, both cars are theirs, so why wouldn't he drive?

Am I just an old coot who can't deal with change? Or is something weird going on here?

Men, what do you do?

Women, how do you feel about this?


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Could be any number of reasons. Maybe he has had a few drinks, most of my friends usually decide who will be the driver and the other can have a few. Maybe he drives all day for work and is sick of it?
Lost his licence, has a broken foot, any number of reasons.

We both have our own cars, admittedly he does most of the driving if we are going out together because I am a pisspot > or we cab it. We rarely would drive the others car, both quite enjoy driving and in a big city a one hr drive to do something local is the norm.

I don't see it as emasculating if I'm driving. We do have different styles though, me lead foot, him more measured.


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## CatJayBird (Oct 5, 2015)

If we are all going somewhere together my H drives....no matter the situation or possible results. He has control issues though.

The only time I protest or make a funk about it is if he's been drinking or is trying to sleepy drive.


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

I drive everywhere 99.9% of the time. Emasculate me PLEASE!!!!


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

This is interesting. I'll chip in.

Both my wife and I drive. Eventually I started buying vehicles that I liked to drive. So when it is my truck I'm usually driving. Unless I'm tired. Her car she is driving. For several years my cars had manual transmissions so I was the only driver. My kids still cant drive them. We took a driving vacation last summer. She probably drove 6 hours to my 2. Driving is not something I greatly enjoy , and we took our sons minivan. (used to be her car).

I'm better at navigating than she is, or perhaps I just don't follow directions well. And last but probably not least I'm naturally submissive and She is an oldest Daughter (a bit bossy). 

So is everything else just excuses for me not to take the helm? 

Some history. Her dad was a Man that always drove. She wrecked her first car. She had to be married to me for quite some time before she got better at driving than me. On Ice I'm still a bit better.


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## BBF (May 21, 2015)

The guys have gotten DUIs and lost their licenses.


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## OpenWindows (Dec 25, 2015)

I always made my XH drive, because his backseat driving made me crazy.

My BF usually drives, because his car is much nicer than mine. If we're in my car, I drive.

I don't really like driving, and I do a lot of it, so I'm happy to let someone else take the wheel!


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*In my college dating days, even on those very rare occasions whenever my car had cratered and I had to make use of my girlfriend's dad's car, she acquiesced, slid over and let me drive!

But when we made our way to our favorite late night parking spots, I naturally just laid back and let her "drive!"*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

It's just driving a modern car, not slaying dragons or splitting logs. If sliding over in into the passenger's seat makes a man lose his masculinity, he didn't have all that much to lose. I usually drive but it's no big deal if she does.


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

Mr. Nail said:


> This is interesting. I'll chip in.
> 
> Both my wife and I drive. Eventually I started buying vehicles that I liked to drive. So when it is my truck I'm usually driving. Unless I'm tired. Her car she is driving. For several years my cars had manual transmissions so I was the only driver. My kids still cant drive them. We took a driving vacation last summer. She probably drove 6 hours to my 2. Driving is not something I greatly enjoy , and we took our sons minivan. (used to be her car).
> 
> ...


If you're naturally submissive and she's bossy, then that fits the mold of who drives.

The question is: 

Are men being more submissive these days than they used to? 

If so, are women happy about it?

P.S. I, my wife and both sons drive stick shifts. My daughter is the only hold out.


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

Holland said:


> Could be any number of reasons. Maybe he has had a few drinks, most of my friends usually decide who will be the driver and the other can have a few. Maybe he drives all day for work and is sick of it?
> Lost his licence, has a broken foot, any number of reasons.


You point out possible reasons for the man not driving; as if there's something unusual about it. Is there something unusual about it?

And I see this a LOT. It seems like when I see young couples, the woman is *usually* driving, but that's probably just confirmation bias.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

It could be that the *young* woman has the job and the car . . . .
That is related as well.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

unbelievable said:


> It's just driving a modern car, not slaying dragons or splitting logs. If sliding over in into the passenger's seat makes a man lose his masculinity, he didn't have all that much to lose. I usually drive but it's no big deal if she does.


Wife nixed the purchase of log splitter last spring. I guess I better Man Up!


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

Depends, if it's close by or my husband had a few drinks then, I drive. If we are going out of state and long distance (less than 20 mins) my husband drives. The reason is that I go at speed limit, I will get there when I get there. I have no need to catch up with some car I don't know. Or to chase the car in front to keep up with traffic. There is a reason for speed limits. 

You can all start laughing now.:smile2:


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

In our marriage.... some of it is very Old fashioned.. he is the primary Bread winner.. I do ALL the household everything....I am the cook, the maid & I don't mind a bit...I will say my husband is THE HEAD.. the leader.. the one who upholds us all...he protects.. he provides for our larger family.. 

Yet I have the more "take charge" personality between us..but still the more submissive role..

*Generally he ALWAYS takes the wheel*.. I like to say when we plan a vacation... I do every detail of the planning... I pack every bag.. my husband does 2 things.... he drives & gives us his good attitude.. that works for me! Sometimes that driving is near 18 hrs straight.. God bless him ! I couldn't do that.. I can help out hours at a time.. but never THAT LONG. 

There is a running joke in our house that gets played over & over & over.. that if MOM drives.. we'll get there in half the time.. I am the *"lead foot"* between us.. he worries I am going to hit a deer...many back country roads where we live...

It's me who got the speeding ticket on the way to Disney years ago.. nice officer.. he didn't put me in jail...took mercy on us when he shined his flashlight in the back seat & seen 4 sleeping children ...middle of the night passing through Georgia.. 

Neither of us get drunk.. so that was never a concern.. I think the only time I drive is if he just got home.. we are on the FLY to get somewhere.. I made him something to eat - so we bring it in the car.. and I take the wheel...or he's getting tired (like that Disney trip)...though he's hesitant even then...that's about it.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Buddy400 said:


> You point out possible reasons for the man not driving; as if there's something unusual about it. Is there something unusual about it?
> 
> And I see this a LOT. It seems like when I see young couples, the woman is *usually* driving, but that's probably just confirmation bias.


No I don't think there is anything unusual about it at all. Was just pointing out that there could be various reasons. Not sure about The States but in Aus the drink drive laws are very strict so these days people are more cognisant of that, maybe in the black and white days people didn't pre plan the drive so much so the norm continued ie if the man was the usual driver then that didn't change.

As for navigation, well he is fantastic without a map, I rely on the GPS and have not opened a road map in a decade.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

When we were together the last 5 years I did not drive. She's a control freak who would nonstop complain. So I'd grab a book and let her drive. BTW she's the only person who can make me car sick driving.


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## ExiledBayStater (Feb 16, 2013)

Buddy400 said:


> Something that I've been noticing the last few years is how often when there's a couple in a car, the woman drives.
> 
> Now, I'm not very hung up about gender roles. My wife earns just as much as I do. I do the laundry. I'm the one the kids always come to when they have a problem. My wife is the one who leaves her underwear on the floor. I don't pay any attention to all of the "the man has to be the leader" stuff. Of course women should be paid the same as men for the same job.
> 
> ...


Usually I drive, as the car we usually take happens to be already adjusted for me. Ok, I also think I'm a safer driver.

I don't drive with my genitals though. Nothing my wife does can emasculate me, certainly not driving somewhere with me in the car.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

I bought myself a car I know she hates so I always drive


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Mr. Nail said:


> Wife nixed the purchase of log splitter last spring. I guess I better Man Up!


As long as she can split wood quick enough to keep up with the wood heater, but tell her if you get cold you're running down and buying that log splitter.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

I drive almost all of the time.

She doesn't like to drive but will if it is necessary, such as if I tell her I'm concerned about falling asleep at the wheel. She'll also drive a bit on a very long road trip where there isn't too much traffic.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I refuse to drive him. When I did, he complained about everything I did. It was the wrong way to get there. He'd complain about the lane I was in and on and on and on.


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

I do 99.4% of the driving. 

I think that's just because I enjoy driving and like to be in control (either that or I'm afraid of losing my manhood:smile2: ).

On long trips (which we do often), my wife is the navigator. I can't operate the GD smart phone functions (even though I'm a senior IT professional).


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## ExiledBayStater (Feb 16, 2013)

Mr. Nail said:


> Wife nixed the purchase of log splitter last spring. I guess I better Man Up!


Sounds reasonable to me, as long as she's willing to do laundry with a washboard.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Mr. Nail said:


> Wife nixed the purchase of log splitter last spring. I guess I better Man Up!


That's gratitude for you. Try to buy your wife something to make her life a little easier and she objects. Maybe she just prefers to swing away those extra holiday pounds.


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## OpenWindows (Dec 25, 2015)

Runs like Dog said:


> BTW she's the only person who can make me car sick driving.


My XH likes to accelerate very quickly and to whip around turns. When I was pregnant and had very bad morning sickness, his driving would literally make me sick. I would ask him to tone it down for me, but he'd forget.

After the first couple of times that we got somewhere, and then I demanded to drive back myself before me made me puke, he got better at remembering!


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## Sun Catcher (Dec 6, 2013)

We both love to drive, but he does most of it. He is old fashioned that way, plus in the evening I may have a drink or two and he doesn't drink so makes sense he is always the designated driver. He opens my car door, too. I really appreciate his thoughtfulness. 

I can drive a stick, backup our trailer or drive the tractor when I need/want to, so it isn't a question of not being able to. It is allowing him to play the role he plays best, being a man's man. I am not going to take that away from him.

When he was sick with cancer, of course I did all of the driving when he was too weak to do so. 

I have 2 close relatives who's wives drive all the time, they are fine with their dynamic, but I see it played outside of just who is in the driver seat, I see two men who are hen pecked and perhaps cuckold. I know this isn't the case for all, but it certainly is for these two that I know.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I always prefer to drive then be driven. Besides... spatial awareness 
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/mens-clubhouse/268810-so-spatial-awareness.html

Hehe 

On a serious note, as for couples where the guys are driven around by their girlfriends, well for me - if I'm already in an established relationship I don't really care that much, though I was pretty much the "default" driver when married, my car or her car, didn't matter, unless I was drunk off my face. 

Still on early dates to give the best impression possible I always rock up in my wheels. Can't imagine going on a first date with the lady driving! Call me old fashioned


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

We both drive, but him more so if we are going out together. I like to drive when he's tired


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## deg20 (Apr 10, 2015)

I am 45...I just got my licence last year.
I've had a fear of driving my entire life...a true fear that I would kill someone or injure a family. My dad never encouraged me to drive, but I have two older brothers who began driving at 16. I went through my whole life not driving, getting picked up, and of course paying for gas, etc. I took buses everywhere

I have to admit it was very embarrassing...but I had a mental or psychological fear of being solely in control of a vehicle that could kill someone...my whole life. My friends teased me. I am a big, very masculine guy, and it was truly embarrassing.

I explained this to my ex-wife when I met her 10 years ago. She understood and I assume accepted it, because she never made me feel bad about it or complained that she always drove, and she ran around driving her three kids everywhere. She was not a communicator...everything stuffed away and rug swept, no matter WHAT the issues were...she pent everything inside. But I am guessing this was an underlying issue throughout...

Looking back, I am sure this was an issue even though she never said a word about it. I NEVER asked her to specifically drive me anywhere or pick me up from anyplace. I took a bus or walked. After she left me, I finally bit the bullet and took lessons. I was on my own now and I really had no choice, since groceries and other tasks were hard to do through public transportation. I bought a car this past July and I am fine now.

When we were on speaking terms...barely, up to September, she dropped by in August to see my car. We were cordial but just enough to be tolerable. I took her for a quick ride. When I took her back to my apartment, she got in her car and left, but before she got in she said, "I'm proud of you". Don't know if this was sincere or not, but it resonated.

I curse myself for not doing this while married. Did it play on her that I never drove? I don't know for sure, but I knew that I would probably never meet a woman now without a car. This is just one of my shortcomings in my marriage that played against me I'm sure...


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## Lloyd Dobler (Apr 24, 2014)

In my case, my wife drives because she has very bad motion sickness and she cannot be in the passenger seat without getting sick most of the time. Driving takes some of that away, although if she is stuck in stop-and-go traffic then she can sometimes become carsick even if she is driving.

Interestingly, this was not the case when we first got together. The problems with extreme carsickness for her started when she was pregnant with our first son and they've stayed with her in the 21 years since then.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Depends on the woman. My Gf is an excellent driver. My X wife wasn't. So I always drove for fear of never reaching our destination

She has had 5 accidents in the 5 years we have been divorced as a result


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

My H drives most of the time unless I'm feeling feisty  I'm the lead foot though, so he's not all that thrilled when I am raring to go like that. From time to time he drives like a Grandpa, which has become endearing to me since he is focused on keeping us safe. When he drives I just relax and enjoy the slower pace.


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## MichelleR (Jan 6, 2016)

My husband always drives. We used to get into fights if I drove because he hates the way I drive and I hate him criticizing me the whole time. It works out okay since I don't like to drive anyway.

If we go out and he drinks then I drive but that's not too often. And we still get pretty annoyed with each other on those occasions. He's gotten better about it I'd say though.


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## cmc (Aug 30, 2013)

My husband's car is his baby. No one drives it except him and he wants to drive it whenever he can so I ride shotgun. It's only a summer car and his winter car is better in weather than mine so if the roads are bad he drives again.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

If we are going somewhere together, I'm usually the driver. No real reason, possibly inertia. Plus my wife logs lots of miles for her work, so if we are going out, not driving (for her) is a treat. 


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

I drive about 99.9% of the time, sometimes just to scare the crap out of my wife :grin2: A while back she commented it was easier to let me drive b/c I was always cracking jokes about her driving (crazy considering how serious I am ...). Now, it just gives her more time to spend texting and on Facebook on her phone.


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## MichelleR (Jan 6, 2016)

Where I live most husbands drive. I would think it's a little odd if the wife always drove. My husband and I both work but in a lot of areas we fall into stereotypical gender roles, not because we feel we have to, more because we prefer to take on those responsibilities and let the other take on the others.


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

Sun Catcher said:


> I have 2 close relatives who's wives drive all the time, they are fine with their dynamic, *but I see it played outside of just who is in the driver seat*, I see two men who are hen pecked and perhaps cuckold. I know this isn't the case for all, but it certainly is for these two that I know.


That's what I'm getting at.

And, since I'm seeing so much more of it, I'm wondering if it's reflective of larger changes in society. 

Like I've said, I'm not obsessed with gender roles, but I think they matter somewhat, especially to women.

And it's not that I'm all worried about the guys; I suspect it might be hurting the way the woman views her guy. I think very few hen-pecking wives are happy with their marriage.


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## Aspydad (Oct 17, 2013)

I respect all you men who let your wives drive - you are much braver than me. My wife scares me to death when she drives so I refuse to let her - she has a lead foot, hugs the center of the road, and waits to the last minute to stop - gives me anxiety issues. She is also a horrible side seat driver - but, I would rather put up with that than let her drive.

With my two daughters, I do let them drive me just so I can see how they are doing. My oldest daughter (23) is a great driver and I have no problem with her in control. My youngest daughter (20) is just as bad as her Mom and she scares me to death - she is just too confident for the little driving experience she has - I have been doing my best to change her bad habits so she does not get hurt.

I will not discuss my wife's or my younger daughter's driving records as it make my already high blood pressure rise.


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## Tito Santana (Jul 9, 2015)

Buddy400 said:


> That's what I'm getting at.
> 
> And, since I'm seeing so much more of it, I'm wondering if it's reflective of larger changes in society.
> 
> ...


Sometimes I think stuff like this is way over thought-- gender roles and such. I would say that driving around town and going out on date nights, that I do at least 75% of the driving. On long road trips, we split driving duties, because I don't want to drive the whole time. However, when she does drive, I take off my shirt, so she can see my chest hair, and drink scotch, so she knows I'm still the man up in this piece....:grin2:

I have a great wife. She never hen pecks at me. We both work full time, have kids, have a joint account, have sex all the time. I buy guns, skis, golf clubs, etc... whenever I want and she never sweats any of it, just like I don't sweat her when she buys boots (or clothes), when she already has 10 pairs in the closet....

and Gasp....., I help out around the house as well. That's another one that kills me. The line of thought that if a husband does a fair share of housework, that the woman will not be sexually attracted to said husband. I do dishes, cook, and clean, whenever it's needed, because if I didn't, my poor wife would be under water. I have no idea if that's just a function of both of us working full time, so i realize , to make it work , we all have to be doing stuff.

Whatever we are doing, it works for us, which is obviously the most important thing. We are both pretty stubborn, have plenty of times we butt heads. However, overall the wifey seems to be pretty submissive (sexually and otherwise), regardless of who is doing the driving.....


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## Justinian (Mar 7, 2015)

Buddy400 said:


> Like I've said, I'm not obsessed with gender roles, but I think they matter somewhat, especially to women.


There have never been gender roles in our house. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, and yard work have always been done by whoever has the time at the moment.

As for driving, we have several vehicles and my wife is only willing to drive hers, which I don't enjoy riding in, so I wind up doing most of the driving when we go together. She still logs more miles annually than I do.

If we go out, and I may have a few drinks, we take her car. I don't think it has ever been a gender issue for us, we just do what's convenient at the time.

I will say though, after over forty years together, my wife still doesn't understand that if driving was meant to be a team effort, cars would come with two steering wheels.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Buddy400 said:


> That's what I'm getting at.
> 
> And, since I'm seeing so much more of it, I'm wondering if it's reflective of larger changes in society.
> 
> ...


I've found I'm much more put-off by a man assuming that being equipped with a vagina somehow automatically renders me incompetent to drive. The truth is, I'm a very good driver. I like good cars and love driving them. I've never had a ticket. Nor have I ever been at fault in an accident. When I go on trips with others, I'm often asked to drive because I don't scare anyone, but I also don't drive like grandma. 

My ex-husband _insisted_ - adamantly - that he always drive. On the rare occasions that I did drive him, he put a lot of effort into a seriously overwrought performance of high terror the entire trip. If I weren't anxious behind the wheel, his audible gasps, eye-rolling, loud sighs, scolding, desperate clutching of available hand-holds, and generally obnoxious, and aggressive, backseat driving seemed calculated to make me so. 

The man had been at fault in probably a dozen accidents, two of which totaled his vehicle, by age 35. He's never been more than one or two tickets away from losing his license because he gets pulled over so often. During our marriage, we were averaging about $3K a year in body work because of minor fender benders, deer strikes, running into trees and fence posts, etc.. And, yet, I was apparently so incompetent that he could not let me drive him anywhere. _That_ was a turn-off.

My current beau often prefers to drive, because he sees doing so as being gentlemanly. However, if I want or need to drive for any reason, he's happy for me to do so. We take turns driving, based on who is sober, or more familiar with the area, or whose vehicle is best suited to the situation. Apparently, the abject terror my ex-husband felt at my driving was limited to him alone.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

When I see a woman driving with a male passenger the only thought that pops into my head is "must be her car". That's it. Maybe it's because, with one exception, I always drive my car while my husband always drives his truck. The exception is date nights in which case he drives my car (nicer than his Tacoma).

If we're headed out the door to run errands, the default is his truck (he drives) unless he says "let's take your car" in which case I drive. I'm pretty sure he doesn't feel emasculated one bit. He's happy to sit back and relax.

The only time this becomes an issue is when we travel long distance. We argue over NOT wanting to drive. We usually compromise to something like I'll drive there but he has to drive back.


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

Rowan said:


> I've found I'm much more put-off by a man assuming that being equipped with a vagina somehow automatically renders me incompetent to drive. The truth is, I'm a very good driver.


To be clear, I'm not claiming that women are less competent drivers than men.

The reason I almost always do the driving is because I prefer to, not because I don't think my wife is capable of it.

It just seems that a larger proportion of women than might be expected seem to prefer a man who is decisive, confident, not passive, takes charge, etc. and being the one who does the driving seems to be more in line with that (although a man who is a control freak is highly undesirable).


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

Lila said:


> . The exception is date nights in which case he drives my car (nicer than his Tacoma).


If your car is nicer, then why wouldn't you just do the driving on date nights (since it's your car)?

Is it because "date night" is the kind of activity that seems to call for men and women to focus on their traditional gender roles? 

I imagine he might open the car door for you as well on those occasions; the kind of occasions where women put more emphasis on being women and the men more emphasis on being men? If so, then would that imply that doing the driving is more "manly"?


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## Justinian (Mar 7, 2015)

Buddy400 said:


> ... It just seems that a larger proportion of women than might be expected seem to prefer a man who is decisive, confident, not passive, takes charge, etc. and being the one who does the driving seems to be more in line with that (although a man who is a control freak is highly undesirable).


I've never equated those qualities with driving, but I've never really thought about it before.

My wife is a good driver, but more of a lead foot than I am. She's had five accidents in our forty years together, none serious, four were her fault. She has not had any citations in years (only God knows why  ) I do get nervous about her habit of following too close at higher speeds, but I try to keep it to myself.

I'm a pretty good driver, no citations since my teens, and no accidents in all my years of driving. My wife thinks I drive too slow.

She also thinks she needs to frequently give me instructions on how to drive, but she's always been that way about everything. That's the main reason I have never been interested in getting hearing aids.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Buddy400 said:


> Lila said:
> 
> 
> > . The exception is date nights in which case he drives my car (nicer than his Tacoma).
> ...


Lol, nothing so complicated. There's the reasons why he drives. ..1) I'm usually wearing stilettos on date night. It ain't easy driving with those things on my feet. 2) Lasik surgery left me with awful nighttime vision which combined with 3) I like to have a drink when I go out could result in an accident. There have been times when I've driven to places, especially if it's somewhere he's never been to and I have. I'd rather drive than be a nagigator (turn left, turn right), so I guess there's that. 

All that aside, H always opens my car door for me when I get in the car, even when I'm driving.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Lila said:


> All that aside, H always opens my car door for me when I get in the car, even when I'm driving.


Quite the gentleman!


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

I drive and navigate. She normally sleeps.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

My husband and I both switch off driving, but I would say he drives more than me. If he has had a drink or two, is tired/not feeling well, etc., then I end up driving, but usually he is the one who drives. I don't typically like driving and tend to fall asleep on long car rides, so it's easier and better if he drives. It doesn't matter who's car it is either, in his car or my SUV, we both switch off. I don't think there is anything emasculating about me driving him. Sometimes I just want to be the one who gets to drive the curvy road through the hills to the location we are going to and it doesn't bother my husband. Whether or not he drives has nothing to do with how much of a man he is.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

My husband drives 99% of the time. I drive if he's been drinking. He can lose his job or get seriously demoted if he gets a DUI.


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## happy2gether (Dec 6, 2015)

for us it all comes down to whose truck we are in(yes she drives a Ram 1500 like I do) and where we are going. If it is just around town, she drives if in her truck and I drive if we are in mine. If going out of town, then most of the time I drive regardless of which truck. For us it is simply a matter of which one habitually gets in the drivers seat of that vehicle for the in town trips. She prefers me to drive out of town so she can facebook or nap. LOL


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
In familiar territory, we split driving pretty evenly - she drives a bit more for typical trips, I drive a bit more when we expect bad conditions. 

When traveling, I drive, she navigates.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

BTW in suburban Raleigh there are no roads, only strip mall parking lots and I hate those.


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

When I was married, my husband liked to drive and I didn't care for it too much, so even when we took my car, he drove. Now that it's my car, I would not enjoy having a gentleman caller drive it, but if it were a significant other and they asked nicely, I might let them drive.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

No respectable woman in her 50s would be caught driving my car (2012 Mini Cooper S). My daughters love it.


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

Lila said:


> Lol, nothing so complicated. There's the reasons why he drives. ..1) I'm usually wearing stilettos on date night. It ain't easy driving with those things on my feet. 2) Lasik surgery left me with awful nighttime vision which combined with 3) I like to have a drink when I go out could result in an accident. There have been times when I've driven to places, especially if it's somewhere he's never been to and I have. I'd rather drive than be a nagigator (turn left, turn right), so I guess there's that.
> 
> All that aside, H always opens my car door for me when I get in the car, even when I'm driving.


Drat! I thought I was on to something there. :frown2:


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

There are exceptions of course... The Mini is a polarizing vehicle design.


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## Ol'Pal (Aug 24, 2015)

My wife always drives me around when I've been drinking. Otherwise I drive.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

john117 said:


> No respectable woman in her 50s would be caught driving my car (2012 Mini Cooper S). My daughters love it.



You would be right. I have no desire to drive one of those cars. I drove one of the little Fiat thingys and it was horrible. I dislike small cars but my daughter would be all over it.


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## Always Learning (Oct 2, 2013)

I physically operate the car 99.5% of the time and she tells me what I'm doing wrong!


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## Zulnex (Mar 23, 2013)

When I am truck driving on the Interstate, I see quite a few couples where women are driving and men are in the passenger seat. 
Sometimes I even see them switch positions on the hard shoulder. This is ok to do if there is not too much traffic. However, when the Interstate is packed with fast moving vehicles - pulling over to a rest area to do your switch is a good solution. If you have to do the switch on the hard shoulder - please do not forget to turn on your hazard lights. I have seen many close calls over the time. Just a little safety tip.


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## Omego (Apr 17, 2013)

My H drives almost always, except when we take turns during a long trip, or if he's tired. I'm an excellent driver but he always complains about how slow I am, etc. etc. how I need to change lanes, etc. etc. so I'm actually glad that he drives most of the time. Nothing more annoying than a backseat driver.


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## DayOne (Sep 19, 2014)

In the 14 years since we moved here (UK) she still hasn't got around to getting her UK license...


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## Imovedforthis (Dec 18, 2015)

My husband always drives... the only time he doesn't drive is if I'm taking the car and dropping him off at work- it's just quicker to drop and go... and when we drive to other states, we will split the drive up.

To me, where I grew up- the males were raised with high standards of chivalry and that meant the men would always drive, and also that the men would open the ladies car door and other doors for her as well..... be a gentlemen  

I've just always accepted that, I have no problems with it and my husband drives us everywhere with no problems and yes he always opens the car door and all doors for me and I kinda love it


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

In general he will drive because he enjoys driving but it could be either of us. I enjoy driving too, although by the end of the work week I've done enough driving with the commute (usually knackered from it) and more than happy for him to take the wheel. We'll drive each others car depending on where we're going and such. His car has more 'GO' than mine. If we are pushed on time, he definitely drives. He's fast lane driving, I'm middle lane. The dogs travel in his car so there will often be dog fur and muddy paw prints. In contrast, he refers to my car as being the 'adult' car because it's clean and consistently has more than half-tank of petrol. That's old-woman tendencies emerging. He rarely drinks, so if we're coming home from seeing friends, he drives... with wine-infused breath, I'm likely to be lining up songs to sing along to.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

As for who navigates, googlemaps joins us for the journey.


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## Nynaeve (Jun 19, 2013)

I drive most of the time. The only times my husband drives is if I've had a drink or on long trips when I ask him to give me a break. He doesn't like driving and I do. 

I don't think less of him because of it. He isn't less manly in my eyes. I would actually have less respect for a guy who is insecure about his masculinity and therefore insits on doing the stereotypically masculine things just because they're the stereotypically masculine things. My husband doesn't care about crap like that. He is secure in who he is. And that's why I love him and am crazy attracted to him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Me and 6 dogs in the Ford Focus, going to the vet. All we're missing is the calliope.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

Lila said:


> Lol, nothing so complicated. There's the reasons why he drives. ..1) I'm usually wearing stilettos on date night. It ain't easy driving with those things on my feet. 2) Lasik surgery left me with awful nighttime vision which combined with 3) I like to have a drink when I go out could result in an accident. There have been times when I've driven to places, especially if it's somewhere he's never been to and I have. I'd rather drive than be a nagigator (turn left, turn right), so I guess there's that.
> 
> All that aside, H always opens my car door for me when I get in the car, even when I'm driving.


My mom has difficulty with night driving for the same reason. I drink less now than I ever did, mainly because my SO is a teetotaler and he positively influences me (not forcibly, I find drinking less means less calories!), so I'm just able to drive more since I'm not drinking. Sometimes my SO gets really sleepy at night so I'll kind of insist I drive. Not to hurt his ego, but because I don't want him to feel forced to stay awake and concentrate at night. 

I'm not a stiletto wearer (my feet aren't delicate enough and I personally dislike stilettos) but I wear high heels when really getting dolled up. Comfortable feet are a must with me. These are what I use to deal with #1, so I can drive:










I have pairs in gold, black, and silver and just keep them in my car.


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## convert (Oct 4, 2013)

Ol'Pal said:


> My wife always drives me around when I've been drinking. Otherwise I drive.


The only time I feel like drinking is when my wife is driving. :grin2:


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## Stillgoingstrong (Jan 14, 2016)

My H is a truck driver for a living. When he is not working, the last thing he wants to do is drive. That means I drive 99.9% of the time if we go somewhere together.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I stopped sitting up front. She wants to drive I stretched out in the back, reading a book or being online or just closing my eyes.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Buddy400 said:


> To be clear, I'm not claiming that women are less competent drivers than men.
> 
> The reason I almost always do the driving is because I prefer to, not because I don't think my wife is capable of it.
> 
> *It just seems that a larger proportion of women than might be expected seem to prefer a man who is decisive, confident, not passive, takes charge, etc. and being the one who does the driving seems to be more in line with that *(although a man who is a control freak is highly undesirable).


My husband has a more passive personality over "yours truly"... so I must admit - I LIKE it when he stands up and does everything he does.. and takes charge here, in this way... Yes.. driving.... *and in other "gender roled" ways* .... if he didn't....let's say he was a lousy handy man, couldn't fix anything.... 

Hmmmmm ...Yeah.. all that taken as a whole would leave some real undesirable effects ...in how I view him...that is just being honest..


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## nirvana (Jul 2, 2012)

I do all the driving when we go anywhere as a family or when I take my wife anywhere. There is no discussion or negotiation, I head to the driver seat and my wife goes to the passenger seat. I like it that way and she prefers it that way as well.

I am a bit old fashioned that way, I feel that I should save my wife from having to drive. It also makes us guys feel manly (don't ask why). I don't think many guys like to sit in the passenger seat while their wife drives unless it is for a good reason.

There was one occasion where we got back from my graduation and the auditorium was muggy and hot and I was getting a splitting headache driving back so I stopped the car and asked my wife to drive. If I feel drunk, I would do the same, but not if I am okay.


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