# Wife cheated. Confused. Betrayed!



## akira29krj (Sep 21, 2011)

In Oct of 2008 I went to prison for a DUI. I served 30 months.

I get out of prison (March, 2011) and find things to be normal or so I thought. One day an old friend of mine from school told me that she thinks that my wife cheated on my while I was locked up. (April or May) I didn't persue this right away. One reason was I wanted to wait until I was ready to be able to talk about it and not scream and yell. The other reason is I didn't think she could actually do such a thing.

Well, I finally decided to persue this matter.(Sept.) I was ready. So I got ahold of my old friend and found out what she knew and she told me some stuff which made me think that she "my wife" did in fact cheat but my old friend wasn't 100%.

So a few days ago I asked my wife when she called me on her break if she knew such and such. She had lied and said no. I said nothing further about it. I just did that to let her know that i knew indirectly. Make her think.

Anyhow when she came home she did confess to cheating. We talked. She does regret doing it and I can tell that she was being sincere. She seams to be actually taking this harder than I am. Kinda weird if you ask me. My brain says I should be knocking heads but my heart says stay calm and to give her another chance. Anyhow.

I am confused. I would think that I would be angry about this but I'm not. I told her before we got married 5 years ago that if she ever cheated that would be the end. But I don't want it to be the end and she doesn't want it to be the end. We both are in love with each other greatly but we don't know how to get past this. This is hard on me but she seams to be having a worse time with it. Any advice for me, for her, and for both of us would be greatly appreciated.


P.S.

She cheated shortly before I came home from prison knowing that I'd be home soon. If it matters.

Thanks
Kris


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

I am sorry but this does not make sense. Why would she wait all of that time (30 months) and then cheat on you shortly before you got home? You need to ask her why she could not have waited just a short time more? I would have to say that I do not buy it. My guess is that she is not telling you the whole truth. It must have happen a few time prior because her story just does not make any logical sense whatsoever. You know she had no problem lying about this before so my guess is that she is in damage control mode right now. I wish you luck.


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## akira29krj (Sep 21, 2011)

I left some out. Maybe this helps maybe not... From Oct 2008 thru Dec 2010 she was a stay at home mommy. She got by on our bank. She started a class in january 2011. From Oct 2008 to then she didn't really do anything but sit at home and take care of the kid and house work etc... I know that for sure because while I was away she stayed with my sister.

Anyhow. What would you suggest i do?


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

I think you know that the story she told you does not make sense. Maybe you should sit her down and ask her to be totally honest with you because you do not believe the story. Tell her it just does not make sense. Ask her that you would like her to take a polygraph test (many B.S. spouses do this and it cost between 400 to 500 dollars). Her response should give you a clear indication. If she immediately says fine lets do it then my guess is that maybe she is telling the truth.

If she freaks out and is totally against it then you also may have your answer. In the past right before they are ready to take the polygraph test many times they will confess the truth.

I think that you should be prepared to know that this was probably an on going affair because again her story makes no sense whatsoever. Good luck.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

If she is sincere that she never again wants to cheat with the OM , she must end all contact with him and write him a no contact letter that you will mail personally. She must also agree to give you all her passwords to her email accounts, facebook account, phone, etc. and be willing to be accountable for her whereabouts 24/7. Without this, trust cannot be restored and your marriage will have its days numbered.


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