# should I go????



## helpwelcome09 (Nov 25, 2009)

Things have gotten bad in my marriage and I have only been married for 7 months... but it hasn't just started it's been this way for quite awhile. His family is religious and as a result we couldn't live together before we got married but I don't think this has anything to do with us getting used to living together. 

We get into fights and when they do come up they are always my fault- according to him. He says that my attitude is what he can't stand and what drives him nuts. He doesn't understand no matter how hard I try to tell him or explain to him that I only have an attitude because he doesn't know when to stop picking on me, messing with me, and when to let me do something without him being all over me. I know most people would like their husbands to be all over them but it annoyes the heck out of me, but it's because I will come home and he will give me a hug but try to sneak in that hug a boob grab. I started to do it back to him because I know he doesn't like it but it doesn't work because like a lot of things it's okay for him to do but not me. I have not been in the mood to have sex with him for about 3 months now... I have no desire to since he is annoying me so much. 

I am in a good mood at work, I laugh and have a good time. Anymore I don't have that fun time or good mood at home, it is as though I leave it at the front door when I get home from work. I can feel a wave of something hit me as I walk into the door- annoyance, dread, unhappiness I am not sure maybe all of them. 

I had doubts prior to getting married but I thought they were normal premarriage jitters. The thing about him always thinking I am a bad person with no heart... that didn't change once we got married. He has been sleeping on the counch for 2 nights now, and I feel like I am high school again becaus I have been living in my room. We haven't talked to each other much other than when he asked what my problem was and once again it was said how this was MY fault. 

I am not supposed to be stressed due to being sick and I have been trying to be happy and in a good mood when I am here with him but it is so hard and it seems unlikely. I have been trying to decide what the best thing to do for awhile now... any ideas


----------



## outinthecold (Apr 30, 2009)

If it were not for misunderstandings "Three's Company" would not have been a show.

Communication is the cornerstone of a good marriage.

He is not communicating, you are not communicating.

Being silent is terrible.

He has to hear you.

You have to hear him.

Ask questions about why he blames you.

In turn, he has to hear what you say also.

No judgements.

Feelings are hurt so easly.

You have to talk it out in plain talk.


----------



## Harvard (Aug 11, 2009)

Sit down and put all your guys cards on the table and admit to each other that if things don't improve through your guys efforts you will ultimately end up getting divorced. Sometimes when two people realize its do or die things will dramatically change. Try marriage counseling too. If still nothing changes the marriage is still young and unfortunately divorce may be best


----------



## artieb (Nov 11, 2009)

You should spill all this out in front of a counsellor; if he's religious, his church may have a preacher with trained in marriage counselling, which will be harder for him to refuse (and what the guy says will be harder for him to ignore).

Get it _all_ out: how you have fun at work but don't like to come home, everything. If you can't fix this now, do not spend years hoping it'll get better and have kids and then wind up miserable for decades.

In another thread, I recommended _How To Win Friends and Influence People_ to someone. It sounds like he needs it way more than you do, but you might get something out of it too.


----------

