# some advice please?



## DWilly78 (Aug 14, 2009)

Some background first I suppose...
The wife and I have been in a monogamous relationship since 2000, but have only been married for 5 years now. We have a child just under 2yo. The first half of our relationship I was in the military and away a lot. 
Fast forward to today. We have been in counseling for a year +/-. I do not feel I have made any progress personally, but our relationship has moved forward some. Mostly because of her individual counseling. She has her own powerful issues she is dealing with and working through (social anxiety, co-dependent, and depression).
I don’t talk about my feelings. I am just one of those kind of guys that are not in touch with them. My Mom has said it before, “oh Sh!t, I raised one. I raised a man.” Joking at the stereotype, of course.
So to be expected by that statement, I blew my top a while back. 
I have been soul searching quite a bit since then. The wife and I have been talking and trying to work past my outburst, and build from it, not let it tear things apart. She brought up a trail separation, maybe we just need some time apart.
My problem is I don’t think I have it in me any more to keep trying to make it work. I care for her deeply, but I am not sure I can continue to wait for her to be the woman I know she can be.
When there is something that bothers me about something she does or doesn’t do, I try my best to get over and just accept. Of late I am having more difficulty doing this. I want to take off the kid gloves and tell her, but I am just too worried that I am going to ruin her progress. She easily retreats back into herself, and away from me. She has trust problem and a distrust of men because of abuse during childhood. 
I like the idea of a trial separation; I think for me personally it would help being away for some time. My fear is that I am already too tired and will just want to call an end to the marriage. 
Could really use some advice here,
Thanks
D.Willy


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## sammy3 (Jun 5, 2011)

I am told over and over that a trial separation is the start of a D...I too am looking this way, but just havent gotten there yet... 
hope it works the way you want .

~sammy


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