# Exhasuted...my husbands new found beliefs and behavior



## cravelove (May 28, 2018)

I will start by saying that my husband and I have been married for almost 8 1/2 years and we have been together for almost 12. We do not have any children together but I do have a son who is 16 from a previous relationship who lives with us. Lately my husband has been acting very cold and quiet and he has shown some behavior to me that seems very bizarre in my opinion. He mentioned to me about 3 months ago how he was abducted by aliens when he was a child and how he does not remember too much but just remembers being in his room and hearing something in his backyard. He remember seeing a bright light and alien'like heads over him. He says the next thing he remembered is waking up the next morning.. He has also shown me a scar that he has on his lower back that somewhat resembles a surgery scar that would usually be due to back surgery but claims he has never had any type of surgery on his back. He has shown me numerous videos on aliens and alien abductions and people who claim have the same surgery scar as him but they were implanted with some material not of earth. and says this is exactly what he saw or went through and that he does not feel alone anymore. He claims that aliens are looking over us and actually walk among us (but they are invisible). He says the moon is where they live. He has started getting in to meditation and learning about chakras and energy. He wants us to go on a silent yoga retreat for his birthday ( he already gives me the silent treatment a lot so I just cannot imagine paying $1500 for him to continue to give me the silent treatment) He has become a Vegan elitist and judges those who are not although he says he doesn't. He also claims he is allergic to many things... One specifically being dust to the point where he bought a box of 50 surgical masks and wears them in the house when he is vacuuming or puts them on randomly when he sees clouds of dust in the air at home. He also carries a mask around with him during his day just in case he needs it. I could go on and on about the changes I have seen in him in the last few months. It is honestly exhausting and I feel as though my marriage is completely falling apart. I feel as though he has a way of gas lighting me when I question anything or bring up how I feel in our marriage. He always responds to me with "What is it that you fear" and tells me I am coming from a place of fear or telling me I am self centered for expressing how I am feeling or how I want to be treated in our marriage. He tells me that there are levels to love and it is time for us to move to the next level of love. I honesty do not have any idea what he means. Everything has changed. Our intimacy, communication has declined. He tells me what I give him, I will get in return. he says alot of our conversations were superficial in the past, he used the example of us sitting around laughing and joking about things (you know the things that people in a relationship do ), and says that is just superficial and he is not interested in engaging in casual conversation.

I am at the point in my marriage where I feel as though I do not even know who this man is anymore that I am married to. I am not happy. I am tired. I am exhausted and hurt. I crave a relationship and I am becoming lonely. My next step is to set up a counseling session for us but it has been so hard to get in to see someone or even get a call back. I figured I would post here to get some feedback or maybe someone has experienced this as well. Thank you so much for listening.


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

Has your husband stopped taking his antipsychotic meds? Seriously, it sounds as if something serious is going on/changing in his brain. Will he agree to be seen by a psychiatrist and have some tests done?

I'm sorry you are going through this. It must be very stressful and lonely.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

I don't know that much about mental illness, but I think your husband isn't well and needs help. This isn't something he or you should be ashamed of, it happens to decent people. As bad as this is for you, try not to blame him, he isn't entirely responsible for what he says.

I don't think MC is going to help until he is stablized, but it might be a good scheme to get him to see a professional.

There is some possibility he isn't mentally ill, although it is pretty farfetched in this day and age for an educated adult to believe there is intelligent life on the moon. Anyway, the important opinions are going to come from professionals after they evaluate him


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## DustyDog (Jul 12, 2016)

I feel for you, I really do. My ex kept adding more things she was allergic to. She had bizarre notions of past lives that supposedly told her what to do and what not to do. Those past lives would tell her what things I needed to be in order for her to be healthy...she never uttered her own opinions, it was always these past lives. She didn't get to surgical masks, but she did get to the point of never wanting to leave the house.

Without immediate and strong intervention, I suspect it's hopeless and it's time to cut your losses.


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## cravelove (May 28, 2018)

Thank you for your reply. It definitely is very lonely. I have mentioned I was concerned about his mental health and his change in personality and behavior. He blamed it on a lack of B12 due to a vegan diet.


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## cravelove (May 28, 2018)

Araucaria said:


> Has your husband stopped taking his antipsychotic meds? Seriously, it sounds as if something serious is going on/changing in his brain. Will he agree to be seen by a psychiatrist and have some tests done?
> 
> I'm sorry you are going through this. It must be very stressful and lonely.





SpinyNorman said:


> I don't know that much about mental illness, but I think your husband isn't well and needs help. This isn't something he or you should be ashamed of, it happens to decent people. As bad as this is for you, try not to blame him, he isn't entirely responsible for what he says.
> 
> I don't think MC is going to help until he is stablized, but it might be a good scheme to get him to see a professional.
> 
> There is some possibility he isn't mentally ill, although it is pretty farfetched in this day and age for an educated adult to believe there is intelligent life on the moon. Anyway, the important opinions are going to come from professionals after they evaluate him


Thank you for your reply. It definitely is very lonely. I have mentioned I was concerned about his mental health and his change in personality and behavior. He blamed it on a lack of B12 due to a vegan diet.


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## cravelove (May 28, 2018)

DustyDog said:


> I feel for you, I really do. My ex kept adding more things she was allergic to. She had bizarre notions of past lives that supposedly told her what to do and what not to do. Those past lives would tell her what things I needed to be in order for her to be healthy...she never uttered her own opinions, it was always these past lives. She didn't get to surgical masks, but she did get to the point of never wanting to leave the house.
> 
> Without immediate and strong intervention, I suspect it's hopeless and it's time to cut your losses.


Thank you for sharing. The things he is allergic to is growing as well. I even heard him tell someone he just found out he is allergic to construction sites. 

He has been talking a lot about reincarnation in the past few weeks. He has also mentioned that the stuff he is saying is not from him, he is just here as a medium to share the message. 

I have not ever felt fearful but the behavior is starting to worry me. I agree intervention is needed. It is just alot to take in and he is already on to the next thing before I can even wrap my head around the last thing.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

cravelove said:


> Thank you for your reply. It definitely is very lonely. I have mentioned I was concerned about his mental health and his change in personality and behavior. He blamed it on a lack of B12 due to a vegan diet.


Did he seem at all receptive to seeing a psychiatrist? It would be very good if he would go.

If not, work the B12 angle and get him to see a physician. Encourage him to tell the physician about his personality changes, allergy phobias and anything else you think won't tip your husband off. There is a chance the physician will sense the real situation, depending how forthcoming your husband is.


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## cravelove (May 28, 2018)

SpinyNorman said:


> I don't know that much about mental illness, but I think your husband isn't well and needs help. This isn't something he or you should be ashamed of, it happens to decent people. As bad as this is for you, try not to blame him, he isn't entirely responsible for what he says.
> 
> I don't think MC is going to help until he is stablized, but it might be a good scheme to get him to see a professional.
> 
> There is some possibility he isn't mentally ill, although it is pretty farfetched in this day and age for an educated adult to believe there is intelligent life on the moon. Anyway, the important opinions are going to come from professionals after they evaluate him


I agree as well. I try not to blame him. I have suggested he go talk to someone about all he has shared with me about aliens and the moon and he says he cannot because they will think he is crazy. 

He spends a lot of time looking out the window or in the sky asking me what something in the air is. Usually it is an airplane. We live very close to an airport. And yes my reasoning for MC was to get him to see a professional. Thank you for your input. I appreciate it.


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## cravelove (May 28, 2018)

SpinyNorman said:


> Did he seem at all receptive to seeing a psychiatrist? It would be very good if he would go.
> 
> If not, work the B12 angle and get him to see a physician. Encourage him to tell the physician about his personality changes, allergy phobias and anything else you think won't tip your husband off. There is a chance the physician will sense the real situation, depending how forthcoming your husband is.



He does not seem receptive at all. I will try the B12 angle to get him in. Thank you very much.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Has he always been out there and eccentric or is this a big change in behavior and out of character for him?

Some people are just into whacky stuff and out there. I was at the gym one time and a yoga class had just gotten over and the instructor and another lady were sitting around doing their cool-down stretches and were just talking, and after awhile I realized they were talking about seeing "the mothership" in the night sky and were talking about when the chosen believers were going to be taken back to the home planet etc etc. 

......and these were otherwise perfectly normal looking middle aged women who were gainfully employed and had normal families etc etc. They didn't hurt anyone or anything. They just believed in whacky stuff. 

However if your H has lived a perfectly normal life with normal beliefs and values etc and this is a big change in behaviors, beliefs and thought processes that are completely out of character for him, then he needs to see a doctor ASAP.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

If not a drug related problem....

He may have a brain tumor. A head injury, or other deleterious issue in the brain.

Maybe in his Right Temporal Lobe, maybe the Anterior Cingulate Gyrus.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

SunCMars said:


> If not a drug related problem....
> 
> He may have a brain tumor. A head injury, or other deleterious issue in the brain.
> 
> Maybe in his Right Temporal Lobe, maybe the Anterior Cingulate Gyrus.


This is not a far out idea. It is a real possibility. I know a woman whose dad seemed to go crazy. It was horrible for the entire family. He was later diagnosed with brain cancer and died. If they had caught it earlier perhaps they could have avoided the trauma associated with his breakdown and could have treated the cancer. But it was too late.

Does he have any of the following:
Headaches, vision changes, loss of motor skills, nausea and/or vomiting, seizures, speech problems, memory problems, concentrations problems, information processing problems, language difficulties, weakness or numbness

That is a list of physical symptoms associated with brain tumors. If he is having any of those as well as the personality changes, you could encourage him to go see a doctor to have it checked out and you could go with him. You could call ahead and speak to the doctor or nurse to explain your concerns.

Here is a more comprehensive list of symptoms associated with a brain tumor that I encourage you to read: https://www.cancer.net/cancer-types/brain-tumor/symptoms-and-signs

Edit to add:
B12 deficiency may be causing some of this also. Here is a list of B12 deficiency symptoms: 
"Weakness, tiredness, or lightheadedness
Heart palpitations and shortness of breath
Pale skin
A smooth tongue
Constipation, diarrhea, loss of appetite, or gas 
Nerve problems like numbness or tingling, muscle weakness, and problems walking
Vision loss
Mental problems like depression, memory loss, or behavioral changes"
https://www.webmd.com/diet/vitamin-b12-deficiency-symptoms-causes#2-7


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

Does he have a strong support system with his family? Do you? You need to tell his family about his recent Behavior and Find a way, any way, to get him to a professional. He sounds quite ill. And I'm sorry you are in this position.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Did he have back surgery? Is there another, known, reason why he has the scar?

His mental health seems to be deteriorating and he needs to be checked out by a professional before things get too bad.


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## cravelove (May 28, 2018)

lucy999 said:


> Does he have a strong support system with his family? Do you? You need to tell his family about his recent Behavior and Find a way, any way, to get him to a professional. He sounds quite ill. And I'm sorry you are in this position.


Thank you. I have a very strong support system. He is close to his family although I wouldn't necessarily say they are a great support system. I plan on speaking to his sister. I was hesitant as first because I really did not want to share info about our marriage but I feel like it is necessary for me to speak with his family about his recent behavior.


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## cravelove (May 28, 2018)

MattMatt said:


> Did he have back surgery? Is there another, known, reason why he has the scar?
> 
> His mental health seems to be deteriorating and he needs to be checked out by a professional before things get too bad.


He says he has never had back surgery. He says the scar is due to the alien abduction that occurred when he was younger. I do not know any other reason for the scar. I have asked him but he always goes back to the alien abduction. Thank you for your input. I appreciate it.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

cravelove said:


> He says he has never had back surgery. He says the scar is due to the alien abduction that occurred when he was younger. Thank you for your input. I appreciate it.


Is there anyone in his family who can say why he really got the scar?


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Had he ever mentioned the Alien abduction before? Could it have been a vivid childhood dream or something??? Or did ALL of this just start recently?

Either way - agree with the others - he needs to be evaluated.


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## BarbedFenceRider (Mar 30, 2018)

cravelove said:


> Thank you for your reply. It definitely is very lonely. I have mentioned I was concerned about his mental health and his change in personality and behavior. He blamed it on a lack of B12 due to a vegan diet.


I was going to look for drugs...

That or mixing of other medications and or "herbal remedies"....


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Having him see a doctor seems like a good plan. At least have him see one to look at the scar - and maybe from his reactions might recommend either a psychological exam, or an exam to look for possible physical issues - anything from a chemical imbalance to a brain tumor.


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## cravelove (May 28, 2018)

nice777guy said:


> Had he ever mentioned the Alien abduction before? Could it have been a vivid childhood dream or something??? Or did ALL of this just start recently?
> 
> Either way - agree with the others - he needs to be evaluated.


Yes a few times but it’s always something like “i swear i was abducted by aliens but no one believes me” as he was laughing but that waw it. I never thought he was serious until he brought it up a few months ago.

Tonight he went to a Psychic for a reading that lasted an hour and already has an appointment to go back tomorrow at 8pm. The same time he was supposed to attend our sons basketball game. Sigh...

We have marriage counseling set for june 14th. It cannot come soon enough.


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## cravelove (May 28, 2018)

uhtred said:


> Having him see a doctor seems like a good plan. At least have him see one to look at the scar - and maybe from his reactions might recommend either a psychological exam, or an exam to look for possible physical issues - anything from a chemical imbalance to a brain tumor.


Will do! Thank you for your input. It is appreciated.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Is it possible he's trying to trick you into divorce? Maybe he is so unhappy with his life he is faking insanity so you divorce him and take the kids out of his life, then he can go off and start over with no strings holding him back.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Cooper said:


> Is it possible he's trying to trick you into divorce? Maybe he is so unhappy with his life he is faking insanity so you divorce him and take the kids out of his life, then he can go off and start over with no strings holding him back.


Have you ever heard of anyone doing that? Usually all he would have to do was file for divorce and tell the judge he didn't want visitation. It's not so complicated that he would have appear insane.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Sounds like severe Paranoid/Delusional disorder. Read....

http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/conditions/paranoia-and-delusional-disorders


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

This sounds so sad for him, and for you.  He needs some professional medical help, it sounds like. It is definitely alarming behavior, and just hope that someone can help him out.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

@cravelove, how did the MC go???


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