# It's done



## needhelp66 (Apr 29, 2013)

I finally did it. I told her if she didnt see MC with me this is it, she refused so I went to the lawyer for legal seperation. Went this morning and started the process. She ofcourse started crying and begging me to not do it (even though she has pushed me to do it many times before).

My head tells me to not reconcile as every time I do, the cycle inevitably starts again of taunts and accusations, then the personal attacks. ...so this time this is it.

My heart though....is aching like anything...telling me how can I not hug her back and apologise and make a fresh start with her again.

Its going to be a hard month....I still dont know what to tell her family when they contact me and ask why is this happening and why cant we work it out....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

First of all, there's nothing stopping you from working on things while separated. Dating, seeing if there's change, etc...

Second, why do you need to talk to her family? If they contact you and you feel you need to respond, just reply with something like "This is between xxx and I, and I don't feel comfortable talking about it with you."

C


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## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

I would love to help you, but I don't know how to deal with that kind of pain either.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Just read your first post... If you go back to her, you're the one that needs to focus on therapy to figure out why you want to inflict that kind of punishment on yourself.

As far as her family goes, tell them you like them a bunch, but their daughter has severe issues. They're likely aware of what living with her has been like.

You should take a long hard look at what your part is in this. In particular, how you missed the red flags that were likely there from the start. Getting engaged after 3 months? Perhaps not a great idea. 

C


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