# Marriage counseling advice...



## FiresF8 (Feb 24, 2011)

Ok we have finally got the marriage counseling schedule. Our first date isn't until the 17th of next month, it feels like forever from now. I once believed that it couldn't help but I am willing to try it and do it with an open mind. 

My biggest fear now is that my wife is a Social Worker, she does counseling and has done marriage counseling before. I am afraid she has already thought of every angle that could come up and is just doing this to say she tried. I want her to truly try to work things out with me but I am so scared right now that they won't. 

I am going to a therapist myself a week prior to this visit that we have together. I am hoping to tell them my concerns and get some advice. 

I don't want this to be the end.


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

My wife is a social worker, and definitely did not have it all worked out. She was as confused and hurt as I was. We sometimes have big blind spots in the our lives when it comes to the work we do professionally.

Learning to communicate and treat eachother right is hard sometimes. Stay strong. There is a chance it will get a lot better, but you will probably be in counseling for the better part of a year.


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## FiresF8 (Feb 24, 2011)

I will go to counseling the rest of life if it saves my marriage. I love my wife and want to grow old with her. I am a firefighter, she is a social worker. I know that I am thick headed, my job has made me thick headed. I want open communication with her. I want my wife back, I miss holding her in my arms. The distance between us on the couch these days pains me to no end. I am hurting so bad right now.


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## DennisNLA (Jan 26, 2010)

Whether it is individual or marriage counseling, you can only change and improve yourself. Make yourself a better person regardless of what your wife wants / does. You can't change her, just yourself. The best you can do is become the man that she initially fell in love with.

I wish you the best of luck.


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

I know what you are going through. I work in science (a very egotistical field sometimes), and I was VERY thick headed about relationships. I was SURE what I was doing was right when it was in fact totally wrong. I did do everything to save my marriage once I realized what was going on. It thankfully worked for me. I really hope it works out for you.

You might want to send your wife some of the stories from here. I was surprised at how common what I went through was. Also, the saying that people don't change is BULL SH*T.


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