# How many times have you ever seen your husband/SO cry?



## Laila8

We've been together for 6.5 years now, married 4.5. I've never seen my husband cry even once. He got a little choked up at the birth of our first child, but that's about it. I find it a little weird but I guess he just never cries. I think he is one of those guys who was taught that it's not 'manly' to cry. 

How often have you seen your man cry?


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## Malpheous

Some are taught it's 'not the manly thing to do'. Some just have a different perspective. A little more open and accepting of things. My wife is quite the emotional lady. But myself? Not so much.


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## anotherguy

may I chime in here?

Been with my wife 25 years. I'm pretty sure she never saw me cry until about 5 years ago when my father passed away. I could see that she was pretty upset watching me come unglued - but there I was. She was very comforting and supporting..of course.

But thats not my point. My point is...that after that time (it was a weird time.. I also had a friend and a young cousin and an aunt die all in about 2 months... went to 5 funerals in 3 months)... after that time now I seem to cry much more than I ever did. Suddenly.

I mean.. like movies and music can make me cry now. Both from joy and sadness. I mean wet eyes not blubbering. The first time it happened I was almost like 'what is this strange water coming out of my eyes?'.  I am only half joking.

Anyway - seems to me that once we get a look at, or experience a little tradgedy in our lives - things change. It not good or bad... it just is. Experience. Life. Whatever you want to call it.

Also wanted to say I was never taught, or never really thought that it isnt 'manly' to cry I think. Having kids now makes me see that it isnt as much social pressure that leads to different ways of expressing or even relating to tragedy and emotion - but (I believe) a large measure of how girls and boys are wired. Yes - society plays a part on this to no doubt - but I never thought 'I shouldnt cry because I will look like a sissy'. Not trying to start a debate here...just sayin'.


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## RoseAglow

I've seen my DH cry a few times. He's cried when we discussed former relationships, and he talked about his step-daughter, who helped raise from the time she was an infant into her teens, who he hasn't seen since the divorce years ago. He cried at the birth of our son. And he has gotten misty-eyed at the end of a few movies.


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## Hope1964

Never. He was raised to not show emotion, happy or sad or mad or whatever. He's getting better, but he has a huge mental block against crying. I don't know if he could even if he wanted to.


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## RandomDude

A few tears in private is needed, just don't let anyone know! That's how I roll anyways, sometimes you just need to let it out. Sure beats bleeding it out cause in Western culture that's considered "OMG self-mutiliation, you need help"

But come on ladies serious now, no one wants to see this:










Grown men crying in front of someone? No no


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## Hope1964

I don't want to see just ANY grown man cry, but a husband should be able to cry in front of his wife when he needs to.

And I don't think women should just start bawling at the mall or something either.

My boys cry in front of me - they're 21 and 23 - and I hope they continue to do so, and cry in front of their wives. They would never burst into tears on the bus or something, but the ability to cry in private is something I think is important in a man.


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## RandomDude

> but a husband should be able to cry in front of his wife when he needs to.


The wife should be the last person to see a husband cry, but that's just my opinion

But then again, what type of crying are you refering to?
Boohoo waaah waaah crying? lol
Or just tears in the eyes and sniffles?


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## Hope1964

If he's crying buckets and wailing loudly because he didn't get the last piece of steak, there's a problem.

But if his mom died, or he got fired, or something like that, he should be able to sob into his hands or on his wifes shoulder.


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## MrsLadyWriter

Mine cried for the first time when we went to visit his father's grave site. He had died years before I met hubby. He cried when his mother died and then again when each of my parents died.

I catch him sniffing back a sob now and again if we see something on TV where an animal gets hurt. Not people - just animals. He denies it, though. Says his "allergies are acting up"! Whatta softy!


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## RandomDude

Interesting, been taught differently by women in my family including my first gf, but I guess its cultural differences. 

To be safe though, I still recommend to other men to hold back their tears, and if they must let it out, let it out privately, away from prying eyes. Been taught it's a turn off, which it is correct? Would you deny that? And crying on a woman's shoulders? Seems... unmanly, why would any woman desire that?

But nevermind me, I'm intruding in the ladies lounge lol
Still... I find this quite curious


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## Hope1964

I would only find it a turn off it he was bawling like a baby at the drop of a hat. The ability to allow himself to shed a few tears when he is really sad (or really happy too, actually) isn't a turn ON, but it isn't a turn OFF either. It does show me that the guy is in touch with himself and isn't afraid to express what he's feeling, which I think is very important.

My hubby told me YEARS later that he teared up at our wedding when he saw me at the end of the aisle. I wish he'd told me so at the time. It would have really endeared him more to me.


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## RandomDude

Interesting, STBX did tell me once she felt comforted when I shed tears when I held our daughter for the first time. But those were tears of joy, including your husband's tears at the aisle so I say that doesn't count lol


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## WorkingOnMe

My wife has seen me cry at the beginning of our relationship. But I certainly don't let her see that now. I don't feel emotionally safe enough to be vulnerable to her. My grandmother recently had a stroke, and she is on her death bed as we speak. I was talking with my wife the day before yesterday on the phone discussing plane tickets. I started to choke up and simply stopped talking, then hung up on her. Not going to let her see that.


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## Caribbean Man

My wife never saw me cry until about 9 years ago.
My grandmother who I was very fond of passed away suddenly.
We were very close, I spent many childhood years growing up with her. She lived on another island.
It was the same island my wife and I spent our honeymoon, because i wanted her to meet my grandmother, [ who was a spiritual woman] and get her " blessing."

When we finally reached my grandmother's home around 12 midnight ,we decided to go for a walk on the beach,but I was silent. Then she stopped, hugged me and for first and only time ever , I cried in her arms.


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## mablenc

Caribbean Man said:


> My wife never saw me cry until about 9 years ago.
> My grandmother who I was very fond of passed away suddenly.
> We were very close, I spent many childhood years growing up with her. She lived on another island.
> It was the same island my wife and I spent our honeymoon, because i wanted her to meet my grandmother, [ who was a spiritual woman] and get her " blessing."
> 
> When we finally reached my grandmother's home around 12 midnight ,we decided to go for a walk on the beach,but I was silent. Then she stopped, hugged me and for first and only time ever , I cried in her arms.



Awe, what a sweet story. It's a bit unfair that men seem to have to hold it togher, I have only seen my husband cry once. Honesty, it was very painful to see and as his wife I felt it hard to see him because knowing he never cries you worry about how they are feeling.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## plasmasunn

I was raised in a house of men who don't cry. My brother just turned 34 and I saw him cry for the first time in my life last August after our grandfather committed suicide. I swear to God...it was a single tear at the funeral, and it was in reaction to seeing my mother absolutely lose it. 

I know I've seen my dad cry, but only once or twice.

And honestly, growing up that way, I'm relieved to have a husband who cries with me. I was lead to believe crying/having emotions was a sign of weakness, regardless of gender. As an adult, though, I mean...sometimes sh*t just gets sad. Personally, I have to cry it out. 

I have no idea how many times I've seen my husband cry. Quite a few...but it's always in extremely emotional situations...once when we were on the verge of splitting...but, we've been to 4 funerals in the past two years (two of his grandpas, one of mine, my 23 year old cousin) and we've cried together every time. I find it refreshing and comforting compared to how I was raised.

And I'd say 90% of girls will say the same thing: No one wants a bawl baby (any more than a guy wants an uber dramatic, highly emotional woman) but crying is a natural reaction to extreme joy and/or sadness...it's supposed to happen.


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## kag123

I've seen my H let a happy tear roll down his cheek on our wedding day and when both of our children were born.

I've only seen him sad cry two times. Once when his dad had a heart attack and almost died, next when we got in our one and only super bad fight and he thought we were breaking up. When we got the call about his dad, he was crying while on the phone and I knew it meant something terrible had happened. When he was crying over our fight, we had gone to bed angry and he thought I was asleep and I could hear/feel him crying next to me. That was a sweet moment because I just rolled over and held onto him, and in the dark he did cry for awhile. We never spoke of that moment again because he's not an emotional guy and I know it would be a touchy subject, but it was one of those solidifying moments for me in our relationship to understand the depths of his feelings for me. It sucks it had to happen in a fight, but I found it very touching.

I wouldn't want to see him cry all the time. Just like he rarely ever sees me cry. We both know if someone is crying, its because its something serious. But I am glad I have seen him do it. Let's me know he's a real human in there somewhere.

I wish he would share his emotions with me more often.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LoriC

Once, when we had to put our dog down. He held him because he didn't want him to die alone. It was very sad for both of us.


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## Coffee Amore

LoriC said:


> Once, when we had to put our dog down. He held him because he didn't want him to die alone. It was very sad for both of us.


This! The only time I can recall seeing my husband tear up was when we put our very, very old dog to sleep because of cancer. Although we knew it was eventually coming, the day we had to do it, he teared up. The only other time I can recall seeing him tear up is when his beloved grandfather passed away.


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## LivingAgain

Saw him horribly, honestly cry when our dog was hit and killed on the road the second day after we moved. He needed a Xanax to be removed for the dog and taken off the road....

All the other times I have seen him cry, I believe were "crocodile tears" used to manipulate...the last time was when we told our kids we were separating and eventually divorcing. He cried while I was calm and cool while explaining....only to find out that he'd been dating already for 3 months...

Somebody have a barf bag?!?!?


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## committed4ever

Twice. At his little 5 year old niece's funeral (drunk driver). And Tuesday when he saw our baby girl on the sonagram.


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## Laila8

committed4ever said:


> Twice. *At his little 5 year old niece's funeral (drunk driver)*. And Tuesday when he saw our baby girl on the sonagram.


That's so horribly sad.


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## Thound

I cried when my dad died. My wife never tried to console me. At the funeral I had reach over and grab her hand. I still get mad when I think about it.


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## YinPrincess

I've seen my hubby cry maybe 3 times in 5 years... Extremely rare events and I will never think less of him for it. I feel privileged that he can share that with me when he needs to.

I get the "weirdness" of not having witnessed this in someone... My ex was very sensitive and sentimental and freely wept at whatever event or memory, good or bad, and I liked that about him. It made him human. Going from someone so open to someone so reserved was kind of perplexing to me at first, lol! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## YinPrincess

Thound said:


> I cried when my dad died. My wife never tried to console me. At the funeral I had reach over and grab her hand. I still get mad when I think about it.


Wow, what's up with that? Had it been my husband I would have held him and comforted him. That's pretty rough to just be shunned like that... I'd be really mad, too... :/
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## richie33

I have broken down a few times in front of my wife. The death of my brother and when we found out my son is autistic. I cried like a baby.
Not ashamed of either time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Lyris

I've very rarely seen my husband cry, but any time I have, I hold him as tightly as I can. It only makes me love him more ferociously than ever.


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## EnjoliWoman

When our daughter was born and about 6 weeks after I left him.


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## anotherguy

Lyris said:


> ...I hold him as tightly as I can. It only makes me love him more ferociously than ever.


'ferociously'.

:smthumbup:


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## SimplyAmorous

Hope1964 said:


> I don't want to see just ANY grown man cry, *but a husband should be able to cry in front of his wife when he needs to*.





> *Yin princess said*: I've seen my hubby cry maybe 3 times in 5 years... Extremely rare events and I will never think less of him for it.* I feel privileged that he can share that with me when he needs to.*





> *Lyris said*:* I've very rarely seen my husband cry, but any time I have, I hold him as tightly as I can. It only makes me love him more ferociously than ever.*





> *Richie33 said*: I have broken down a few times in front of my wife. The death of my brother and when we found out my son is autistic. *I cried like a baby.
> Not ashamed of either time*.


I like all these comments .....this is healthy.

I've been with my husband for over 30 yrs now....I am thinking I have seen his tears less than 15 times or so...and none of these was out of weakness as far as a bad day, someone's words /actions hurt him.. he is more a "ranter" to me with some swear words when he hits the door ......

He cried the night his dad passed away....he wasn't there by his side...we held each other, talked about his life, his legacy....tears at his funeral...maybe even a couple times if a kid mentioned Grandpa, his eyes got a little glassy...he was holding it back...
He also teared up at a friends funeral.. 

The rest have been ... moving moments of happiness/ Love... I don't recall him crying when our children were born...I just asked... he said he didn't think so...

A few I will never forget so long as I live...he blew me away - tears in his eyes expressing his love to me...then got me balling!.... making love a few times. His temperament is high on "feeling" - very sentimental / Romantic. 

I count this something very beautiful.


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## TiggyBlue

Seen my husband cry/tear up twice, he teared up when our daughter was born and cried (before we got together) after a close friend was stabbed to death in front of him.


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## SimplyAmorous

TiggyBlue said:


> Seen my husband cry/tear up twice, he teared up when our daughter was born and cried (before we got together) *after a close friend was stabbed to death in front of him*.


OMG, what went down there? Did he come close to getting killed too? That is awfully traumatic !


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## TiggyBlue

He grew up in a rough area (I lived there in my teens), stabbings happen all the time I'm pretty sure it was a case of wrong place at the wrong time (will ask the other half). No my husband wasn't stabbed that time.


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## SouthernMiss

He cried at our wedding. I don't think I've ever seen him cry any other time. Not even when his dad died.


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## alte Dame

35 years together and I've never seen him cry. He did tear up a bit during the final scene of the movie 'You've Got Mail.'

Go figure.


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## Mavash.

He's cried probably 20 times or so in front of me. Many of which have been in the last few years. It's a beautiful thing when a man shows some emotion. 

He cried yesterday when we visited his parents gravesite. Very touching and made me love him more.


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## SimplyAmorous

I couldn't remember at what point my Husband cried at his Dad's funeral, he said it was the Playing of "*TAPS*"... that will get you every time! I think we all were. His brother too, that was the 1st time I've ever seen him cry.


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## Anonymous07

I've seen my husband cry a few times(at our wedding, his grandma's funeral, when he got laid off, and a couple others) and I'm glad he feels comfortable enough with me to do so. I want to be there to support him and we can go through what ever life throws our way together. I grew up in a family where I almost never saw my dad cry(only at my cousin's funeral and his step dad's funeral - twice in my whole life) and I feel bad that it has to be that way. My dad has a hard time showing emotion and I know it effects his health. I've seen my father-in-law cry twice and think it's great that he is open with his emotions. He cried at our wedding when I was walking down the aisle and cried at my husband's graduation. I would never think he is less "manly" because he shed tears and my husband has learned from him. I really hope my son follows after his dad and can share his emotions because it is really healthy to do so. I'm glad my husband will be a good role model for our son.


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## waiwera

In 26 years I've seen my man cry about 5-6 times.
Just wet eyes.

Although he's a real softie so I suspect he has shed tears on other occasions I've not been privy too.

I have no problem with my man crying ( he does it in private not at work or the mall), in fact I feel somewhat 'special' as I know I'm one of two women he would cry with (the other is his lovely mum).


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## Viseral

The only time I ever saw my dad cry was when his dog died unexpectedly.


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## belleoftheball

The have only seen my hubs cry twice and that was when he mom died and when a uncle on his died.


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## chillymorn

my moto never let them see you sweet or cry!

I hear all these women say they feel special that their man can cry infront of them but I belive the vast majority see it as a huge weekness.

do I cry .....maybe a hand ful of times scinc adulthood. funny thing is it dosn't change anything. at least for me whatever made you cry is still a problem when your done wiping the tears away.


now I feel like crying!!!!!!


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## Mrs.K

We have lost a young child so I have seen my husband cry a number of times. Before our daughter died I'd only seen a few tears of joy fall at the birth of our kids.


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## northernlights

Mrs.K said:


> We have lost a young child so I have seen my husband cry a number of times. Before our daughter died I'd only seen a few tears of joy fall at the birth of our kids.


I'm so sorry.


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## Runs like Dog

Never. Why do you think we die first, kill ourselves and others more?


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## Laila8

Mrs.K said:


> We have lost a young child so I have seen my husband cry a number of times. Before our daughter died I'd only seen a few tears of joy fall at the birth of our kids.


Mrs. K, I'm terribly sorry for the loss of your daughter.


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## Mrs.K

Thank you both.


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## SLOLUVR51

Didn't cry at my mothers funeral, nor my fathers, grandparents, uncles, aunts, etc. But having our dog put down had me blubbering like a 2 year old. The next dog is 15, still in great shape, but I know that day is coming. Dying people I'm okay with, small dogs, not so much


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## Ano

Id say maybe 4 times in 6 years.


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## ScorchedEarth

Quite a bit since I caught him cheating last December. Along with the usual "I'm sorry, I'll change", blah de blah.

But that always seems to be the norm when I catch him out. 

Caught him paying for an adult dating service online - tears.

Caught him paying for online porn subscriptions - tears.

Oh, and he did cry when we lost our first pregnancy via miscarriage. I can't prove it, but I'm pretty sure he was in the strip club within a few days of it. Like how he was in one 10 days after I gave birth to our child. 

Seems my stbxh's tears are triggered when he's caught being a rat.


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