# Ok now he is doing something about it..



## Mommy misses you (Aug 3, 2009)

Ok I had a few people write on something I wrote days back. I know a few were worried and said I need to get help because I wanted to kill myself. My hubby finally agreed and set a appt for us for a marriage counselor. I asked why now? He said because Ive been acting more serious about suicide, The marriage etc. Now after six years of dealing with his crap and lieing none stop about STUPID things, I don't wanna listen even though he never has tried to come out with his feelings. I guess because I have tried for so long with this silence now I'm too drained for it. I guess if I wanna make the marriage work I have no choice but to talk about things over and over AGAIN, But ill look forward to this in a way because someone this time will be listening to me and will point out things that need to be fixed on. Something else has been bothering me the past few weeks too. I have never had a eating problem or eating when upset etc. I gained weight when I was pregnant but too much before I lost the baby. I have lost some but then started gaining more weight cause I have just been eating whatever instead of watching what I eat. My hubby is a junk eater and the past few weeks I don't feel like cooking so he turns to getting fast food for dinner. I'm having trouble after all this crap getting my self back on track with my diet and doing stuff I use to do. There is a ton of things that are bringing me down. Also he has all next week off and I have two appt for myself or a ultrasound and another appt to talk to my doctor about a problem Ive been having when becoming pregnant and he says this is my first time off in a while and I'm still having to do things for you. I just wanna cancel everything because I feel everything is my fault.


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## nightshade (Mar 4, 2009)

I don't know if this is how you're feeling, but from reading your posts I get the sense of this big cloud or upset and worry and frustration whirring around. If so, that must suck!

I'd suggest trying to take these things one at a time. The baby thing, I know you must be dealing with a lot of pain from your loss and it's so understandable. Maybe dealing with your marriage without adding a baby into the mix would be good. 

Work on getting those issues ironed out first, or at least make a start of it before adding baby plans. 

I have this overwhelming urge to remind you to BREATHE!  Think about doing something fun this weekend, not that it's a solution to anything, but it might help you feel a little better.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

the gaining weight thing is really hard. ive been there. my H loves to eat out. i put on a lot of weight. we fought about it all the time. eventually i had to learn to just say, "no" and stop trying to control him. it took a couple of years but we dont eat out much anymore.

im really sorry about what you are going through, on top of this. i hope the counseling goes well for you. just take it one day at a time. your only human and life doesnt come with a survival guide. just learn as you go and dont be so hard on yourself. everything works out, eventually.


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## Mommy misses you (Aug 3, 2009)

Thank you. I hear both of you. The whole hanging out thing we have planned to do something every sat. I dont know why we didnt do something like this years ago! We need to get out. He loves talking to others and making friends, I dont. I love keeping to myself so its going to be hard to kick me out of the house. I am very content sitting at home with my pets. just cleaning puts me in such a good mood for the day, I have OCD so that also bothers me with the public thing. Yea probably waiting to try again for a baby is a good idea but it was a slap in the face because I just found out there is things he doesnt want now. If he would of just told the truth from the start I wouldnt be feeling like this. Also I have a huge thing for cream pies and he says now he wants to wait a while but he gives in to me. He can never say NO to me. I have asked him why he cant say no, He just says he cant, He has a very weak spot for me. Thats why im also upset because if I become pregnant I will feel its a mistake baby AGAIN. Our first pregnancy wasnt planned. I told him this is something I didnt want. I mean he says he wont be upset if I get pregnant again, But thats not the point.


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

Mommy, I never like to hear the thought of sicide, something I thought about in High School. I then had a friend tell me it was a very selfish act and I am not hurting myself but the people around me to get thier attention, I snapped out of it.

I know you are not a social person, my wife is not, she is loner, but honey you need to get out of the house and do some things with your child.

There is good advice on here, I wish you the best but please put those thougths out of your head and get some help from a doctor and a therapist. Which I know you are.

Best of luck, such a pretty face yet so sad, breaks my heart. Smile! your very pretty.


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## Mommy misses you (Aug 3, 2009)

GA soccerman, I dont have a child. My baby boy passed away......


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

I apologize I misread, but honey you need to get out and do stuff, staying home and not doing anything is so bad for you and your condition.

there are "meetup" groups out there...Maybe do some activities you enjoy? 


Google: Meet up there are different clubs in your area maybe you can find some friends locally that have the same interest as you or a support group.

Ever think about volunterring your time to a church or a vetran center? 

you need to occupy your time.

I wish you the best, Sorry for your lost I know it's tough, My wife has had 3 miscarriages, I lost a brother to Cancer and I also lost another brother to a Gun shot in a bar fight. Both my parents ahve passed one died froma disease the other from a heart attack. Life throws you many curve balls, you ahve to learn to absorb them and move forward.

I have seen plenty of tragedy the best man in my wedding and my cousin were in 9/11 (luckily they survives) other friends relatives were not so lucky. I served in the Army.

One thing I ahve always believed in, no matter how bad I think I have it, someone out there is far off worse then I have it.

Some poor child is being raped or abused. People being tortured, Killed for no reason. It can be a ugly world.

You have a husband and family that loves you, fight these demons and beat them. PM if you want and willing to chat and help. I never want to see someone take their own life when their life can be so helpful to many others.

you have friends and we are here.


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## Moutanman (Aug 29, 2009)

mommy misses you I to have trouble leaving the house. I suffer from PTSD from 2 wars so people are not my strong suit. You got to breathe girl. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference"


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

Reach out mommy. You started here, now force youself to do something anything (exercise/read self help books/join gym, etc). I would suggest a support group. Maybe your town has one for those with depression an such.

Marriage counseling is good. However, I would suggest individual counseling for you. You sound frustrated and depressed and need someone that will truly listen and help guide you right now.


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## unhappy wife (Aug 30, 2009)

killing yourself isnt the answer, i tried a long time ago by over dosing and to be honest it mad me feel worse then ever, even now im ashamed to have even tried. i was taken the cowards way out, thank god i was found in time.
my advice is to try and move forward on you terms, if speaking isnt getting you any where maybe a break for a week or two might help. your not alone, many people feel the way you do, and there is alot of help out there.
please be strong, pm me any time if you feel like chatting


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