# all i want is to start a family...



## gigabogan (Sep 23, 2020)

I have been with my partner for 6 years and have been married for almost 2. she is 38 and has known my biggest goal in life is to start a family. she first said let's get married first. knowing my goal and agreeing to it. well there always seems to be an excuse and even though sex is good when it happens, I am lucky if we have it even once during ovulation. I am defeated and at a total loss for what to do. we get along and rarely fight.i am finding it increasingly difficult to hide being crushed by her lack of effort. in my mind, a committed couple with this shared goal especially with menopause looming should be doing everything possible to get pregnant but alas nothing seems to be working. I have broken down several times over the years and am told I have been heard but dont feel that I am. I'm sorry if this is a rant but I needed to reach out. any advice would be greatly appreciated!


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

You've been duped and you don't or can't see it. She did the bait & switch, and you fell hook, line and sinker for it. It's obvious that she's not interested in having a family, well at least with you in this case. She eventually will tell you that it is too late for her to have children, that she's now too old, blah, blah, blah.

You want children, a family? then divorce her and find a woman that wants a family. You don't want to divorce her? then shut up and forget about it, but you'll be resentful for the rest of your live with her. Man up man, giver an ultimatum and find the true. If you are going to give and ultimatum then be ready to have the balls to follow through with it.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Why are you trying to hide how you feel? How is that going to solve your issues here? 

You need to have a very frank conversation with your wife about this. You need to find out if she actually wants kids and if so, why is she hesitant. If she doesn't want kids then you need to accept that or go your separate ways. If she says she wants kids then she needs to make sure her actions match and get moving. It's time to put your foot down or live the rest of your life full of regret and resentment.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

The advice is coming, it may seem harsh but on the money.

Take heed my friend. Get undefeated in your mind, and take some actions.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

gigabogan said:


> and even though sex is good when it happens, I am lucky if we have it even once during ovulation.


What is your average monthly sex frequency? Your age? Her BMI? Size of house?


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

gigabogan said:


> I have been with my partner for 6 years and have been married for almost 2. she is 38 and has known my biggest goal in life is to start a family. she first said let's get married first. knowing my goal and agreeing to it. well there always seems to be an excuse and even though sex is good when it happens, I am lucky if we have it even once during ovulation. I am defeated and at a total loss for what to do. we get along and rarely fight.i am finding it increasingly difficult to hide being crushed by her lack of effort. in my mind, a committed couple with this shared goal especially with menopause looming should be doing everything possible to get pregnant but alas nothing seems to be working. I have broken down several times over the years and am told I have been heard but dont feel that I am. I'm sorry if this is a rant but I needed to reach out. any advice would be greatly appreciated!


38 starts to push the limits of having children without increased risk of defect. BTW no where close to menopause that's 50+. You are lucky when this happens to a woman they are just screwed. But you are a man. If you sit her down and let her know you two are either going to try for a child or you are done. Then follow through. If you end up divorcing men can safely contribute sperm will past your age. You'd have to date younger women around 32 to 33 because it is a good idea to have several years together before bringing kids in the mix.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Sounds like bait and switch to me.

You need to be very up front with her and tell her you both agreed to having a family and time is of the essence now that she's 38. That's the reality. You don't have time to muck around waiting, her time for child bearing is running out.

If she won't agree to start trying now there's your answer.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

gigabogan said:


> I am defeated and at a total loss for what to do.


It ain't rocket science, divorce her ASAP and try to find a sexual partner who wants to start a family.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

LOL...menopause isn't exactly 'looming' around the corner but she IS getting to an age where there are many more complications with pregnancy.

Since she clearly doesn't respect you, why do you stay with her?


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