# Last night of a 30 year marriage



## now_what (Sep 17, 2008)

Well this time tomorrow I will be single for the first time in over 30 years. I go to court in the morning - scheduled for a whole 10 minutes. This nightmare has been going on for 6 1/2 months now, since my husband sent me an email and moved out of the house while I was at work to live with a biker chick he had known for 2 months. 

This whole thing just seems so surreal and the time has flown by. He had no desire to work on our marriage and has moved on with his new life with his new woman.

I just want to get the hearing over with, I want our agreement to be official and I want to move on with my life too. 

This has been the most stressful time of my life, trying to hold myself together, go to work and take care of my 16 year old daughter while my husband is happy on his "new path" in life.

Sometimes I miss him - why I don't know. Sometimes I hate him - for leaving me and for the way he treated me beforehand - with blatant indifference for about the past year. Sometimes, I still love him, because we did have some happy times and have three great children.

This has been so confusing - with constant highs and lows, feeling strong, feeling weak, feeling sad, feeling liberated. I have no idea if I will feel any different tomorrow - if it will make a difference not being married to him anymore. Guess I'll just wait and see.

Wish me luck.


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## MrsConfused (Mar 20, 2009)

You walk in that court room with your head high! Don't let him see it bother you at all! What a pig! You deserve much better than that! What does he have... a biker chick... sounds low class!

What do you have? You are the fortunate one.... you have a world of endless WONDERFUL opportunites ahead of you, starting today as soon as you walk out of that court room! Lucky you! Poor him!

Take time to treat yourself special! Every day look in the mirror and tell yourself at least 5 things that make you great!!!

I'll start with #1... "I am no longer with someone that does not realize how wonderful I am!!!"

Good luck today!


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## marina72 (Dec 29, 2008)

Ditto.... what mrsconfused said. You're free now to be with someone who wouldn't throw away 30 years with someone for some rauncy biker chic.... 

You go girl... eventually the feeling of being liberated, and strong, will overtake any sadness. And with time, you'll be okay, all the time, all day, every day. Take care...


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Best of luck NW. Now that it is official maybe you can release your emotions for him and move on. My guess is that at some point his current relationship will crumble and you will be far down the road and happy without him. In short, his actions will haunt him. Take care and keep us posted.


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## now_what (Sep 17, 2008)

*First full day of being single after 30 years of marriage*

Thanks to everyone for the words of support. Well today is my first full day of being single - and I feel pretty good. I had no idea how I would feel. It's kind of funny, my husband inadvertently made this easy for me. The courthouse is in a different county from where I live, so I was not familiar with where it was or where to park. I found the building but didn't see parking right away so I drove around the block again and pulled behind a car. I didn't realize at first that it was my ex's - then I saw the bumper sticker that said "Screw It, Let's Ride". I thought "Screw it, let's get divorced". He is still only thinking of being a "biker". The hearing went well, I didn't even cry until we left the courtroom and then for only a minute, I think more from relief than sadness. 

This whole experience over the past six months has been surreal. I don't think I have the energy to stay caught up in sadness and I don't even feel like badmouthing my ex anymore. He so easily moved on to a new life, I will do the same. I caught myself a few times referring to my ex as my daughter's father, instead of my husband. Truthfully, he has not been a real husband to me for a long time anyways. I truly think I am ready to move on.


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## 1nurse (Jan 21, 2009)

Glad to hear you got some resolution to the ending of your marriage. I have to wait another 6 months. I don't know how I will react when I get the papers. Probably a mix of emotions like yourself. This is a new beginning for you. Now go out and be the best woman you can be. I bet it won't be long before a really nice guy notices you and says "hey she's got it together. I need some of that." Or you may choose to be by yourself for a while. That's the road I've chosen to travel for now. All the best to you. The book of your life has not completely been written. Just another chapter starting. :smthumbup:


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## marina72 (Dec 29, 2008)

now what... you're a very strong woman.

You've just proved that quite well. You're going to be just fine. 

update us when you want, or can...

blessings....


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