# 'Joking around'



## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

Alright men - I'm willing to listen. Yesterday, my husband's friend decided to flip me off and basically just say **** you to me because of something really stupid and it hurt my feelings. This was in a group chat. I asked him to send texts instead of videos. He responded with a few videos saying no and then sent one of him flipping me off and the look on his face was not nice. So I got upset and left the chat. My husband sees that about a half hour later (I just didn't respond - we are both at work and I didn't want to be upset so I just left the chat) and texts me asking me why I left. I told him that his friend hurt my feelings. He told me that I shouldn't take it serious and then started scolding me because I left the chat. Then the friend apparently got in to a fight with his wife over it and now they are fighting (I'm going to assume that she stuck up for me?) but so now him and my husband aren't friends - husband is mad at me because I 'created' this and I said nothing but just left the chat. I'm lost.


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## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> Alright men - I'm willing to listen. Yesterday, my husband's friend decided to flip me off and basically just say **** you to me because of something really stupid and it hurt my feelings. This was in a group chat. I asked him to send texts instead of videos. He responded with a few videos saying no and then sent one of him flipping me off and the look on his face was not nice. So I got upset and left the chat. My husband sees that about a half hour later (I just didn't respond - we are both at work and I didn't want to be upset so I just left the chat) and texts me asking me why I left. I told him that his friend hurt my feelings. He told me that I shouldn't take it serious and then started scolding me because I left the chat. Then the friend apparently got in to a fight with his wife over it and now they are fighting (I'm going to assume that she stuck up for me?) but so now him and my husband aren't friends - husband is mad at me because I 'created' this and I said nothing but just left the chat. I'm lost.


is there some reason you needed to be in the chat? A chat of a bunch of people sending videos to each other and you asked for texts and he....flips you off? 

Not saying he wasnt joking, but if you were at work I can see why you would leave the chat....


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

I'm not a man, and I'm also not a 'buddy'. 

Please feel the freedom to create and require any standard you like - as long as you mean it.

And, if it were me, I'd not explain myself. Or argue about it. 

Just hold your head high, and go about your business. If the men in your life want to behave like little boys, then let them carry on without you. Just remove yourself. 

Don't tolerate being treated disrespectfully.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

uwe.blab said:


> is there some reason you needed to be in the chat? A chat of a bunch of people sending videos to each other and you asked for texts and he....flips you off?
> 
> Not saying he wasnt joking, but if you were at work I can see why you would leave the chat....


I was absolutely at work. They started the chat because its easier to keep track of stuff. Him and his friends all communicate in these group chats so he started one with me in it to get this shirt thing going and they were all throwing in ideas but a few sent videos. I asked if they could keep it in text because I can't keep up with their 9million videos.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

minimalME said:


> I'm not a man, and I'm also not a 'buddy'.
> 
> Please feel the freedom to create and require any standard you like - as long as you mean it.
> 
> ...


They treat me like I'm their buddy which is fine. I can hang with them better than most of the guys do but at some point - the look on his face says he was mad because he didn't want to do it. That's where I felt disrespected and it hurt my feelings because at some point - I see this man as family. I didn't explain myself or try to argue or respond. I simply just left the chat and when my husband asked why, I said the guy hurt my feelings and that I needed time to breath. So then the husband starts a fight with me. Probably started a fight with his friend too from the sounds of it because now they aren't talking.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

here is the downside of being treated like one of the boys you get a response like if you are one of the boys, so i would just give it back and move on...they are acting like immature boys


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Man here.
From your description of events, I think you are exactly right in your actions.

Example...my wife won't be around people who use the Lord's name in vain. It's a personal boundary that she communicates when someone gets close to it. For anyone who ignores that boundary...they are cut out of her life.

Some people think it's wrong to do that...but it doesn't matter what people think. Here is the boundary, don't break it.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Don’t hang out with his friends.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

Lostinthought61 said:


> here is the downside of being treated like one of the boys you get a response like if you are one of the boys, so i would just give it back and move on...they are acting like immature boys


That's what the husband said. To give it back. But then I give crap back and he gets mad at me for it. I can't win.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

BeyondRepair007 said:


> Man here.
> From your description of events, I think you are exactly right in your actions.
> 
> Example...my wife won't be around people who use the Lord's name in vain. It's a personal boundary that she communicates when someone gets close to it. For anyone who ignores that boundary...they are cut out of her life.
> ...


I hear that wholeheartedly.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> That's what the husband said. To give it back. But then I give crap back and he gets mad at me for it. I can't win.


Don't try to be who you aren't.
If that group isn't right for you then drop it.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

BeyondRepair007 said:


> Don't try to be who you aren't.
> If that group isn't right for you then drop it.


I did. I left the chat. That's what started the whole thing. If he would have been laughing, it would have been one thing but the look on his face said something completely different. I love the guys and care about all of them and this one is more family than anything. He simply just doesn't get along with anybody that doesn't follow suite of him


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

@BecauseSheWeeps

#1 YOU didn't create the buddy getting mad and flipping your off. YOU didn't create the fight the buddy and buddy's wife had. And YOU didn't create the fight that Buddy and Hubby had! ALL of that--every last bit of it--was created by the buddy and how he acted. You were at work and couldn't do videos...so you asked for them to send texts. Buddy "could have" said (via video) "There's too much that needs to be said that texting doesn't work" and been respectful about it, right? And you could have, right then and there, texted back that you can't watch videos due to work but that you'll bow out for now and watch them when you're home and off-duty. Then none of this would have happened!!

All of this is on the buddy, and the fact that your husband would try to blameshift all this onto you is troubling!

#2 When you are in a chat group with dudes, it is not only reasonable but likely that they will "give each other s-h-i-t" a little, and by that I mean that they might tease each other by saying "Hey I'm at work, send texts" "F U, Bud, I'm not typing all this!" "Shut your piehole, Bob!" and laugh about it. So it may not kill you to get a little thicker skinned and dish some right back at 'em...and yet that was not the spirt of this interaction. Bud was ANGRY at you and made an angry video, his wife got angry at him for being such a jerk, and then he got mad at your husband because of the fight he started with you and with his own wife! So mad-mad-mad!! That's not "joking"

Abusers will hurt those they abuse and then say it's a "joke". Let that sink in.
Abusers also blameshift their bad behavior onto others. Let that sink in too.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Well, this is apparently who he is and you’re not going to change him so distance might be the best policy.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Affaircare said:


> @BecauseSheWeeps
> 
> #1 YOU didn't create the buddy getting mad and flipping your off. YOU didn't create the fight the buddy and buddy's wife had. And YOU didn't create the fight that Buddy and Hubby had! ALL of that--every last bit of it--was created by the buddy and how he acted. You were at work and couldn't do videos...so you asked for them to send texts. Buddy "could have" said (via video) "There's too much that needs to be said that texting doesn't work" and been respectful about it, right? And you could have, right then and there, texted back that you can't watch videos due to work but that you'll bow out for now and watch them when you're home and off-duty. Then none of this would have happened!!
> 
> ...


The other point I'll make about your #2 is that even among guy banter, everyone is not the same. It's perfectly normal to treat one person more harshly than another and women in a man group don't have to be treated the same as men, _especially_ if she's not ok with it. It's not a rule.

Anyone with half a brain wouldn't be over-the-top disrespectful to a woman like he might his best drinking buddy.


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## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

You didnt want to be in the chat, so you left the chat. Good move-- there was no urgent reason for you to be there, and you didnt like it. 

Your husband and the friend sound like my pre-teen kids. I am talking 10-12 years old.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> I was absolutely at work. They started the chat because its easier to keep track of stuff. Him and his friends all communicate in these group chats so he started one with me in it to get this shirt thing going and they were all throwing in ideas but a few sent videos. I asked if they could keep it in text because I can't keep up with their 9million videos.


Their laziness shouldn't be allowed to hamper your job performance.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Their laziness shouldn't be allowed to hamper your job performance.


Right. I tried telling the husband - if they go to a local shop for their tshirts, they wouldn't be able to get away with any of this. The shops are going to want everything in writing. They can't even give me a design that they want.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> Right. I tried telling the husband - if they go to a local shop for their tshirts, they wouldn't be able to get away with any of this. The shops are going to want everything in writing. They can't even give me a design that they want.


Just have them use a local shop. This isn't worth your effort.


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## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

Ending a friendship over a T-shirt is very immature to me. How old are you guys anyway? If someone shows me the finger, I have two to show back. 🤷🏻‍♀️


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

pastasauce79 said:


> Ending a friendship over a T-shirt is very immature to me. How old are you guys anyway? If someone shows me the finger, I have two to show back. 🤷🏻‍♀️


She didn't end a friendship she ended a group chat while at work


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

When women talk to each other we are generally nice, polite & sensitive. When some men talk to each other it's rude, vulgar & can be downright gross. On the calmer end of the scale they call each other stink-breath, fart-face etc. At the farther ends, when asked not to do something they do that very thing & flip you off for not taking a joke. Good news (sort of) -- your husband's buddy thinks you are one of the guys & he can do this because he feels comfortable. Bad news -- this is who he is. 

You two owe each other mutual apologies but you're gonna have to go first because the Martian doesn't even know what he did wrong. Say something to him in person or at least on the phone, not through text, about you two having a communications issue. Upon further reflection you now know he was joking but it wasn't something you found funny or acceptable. Ask if he'd be willing to be a bit more genteel in his interactions if you promise to develop a thicker skin. Then you kind of write him off & don't engage going forward. 

Candidly I'm not sure why you were required to keep up with every video. You didn't have to watch them. 

Your husband also needs to stick up for you more as in -- Dude, I don't care if you think she can't take a joke. She's my wife. You upset her. Apologize.


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## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

Anastasia6 said:


> She didn't end a friendship she ended a group chat while at work


I thought they weren't talking to each other anymore?


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

pastasauce79 said:


> I thought they weren't talking to each other anymore?


The guys aren't talking to each other anymore. I don't know why, my husband won't tell me what was said. I just know that I told him to leave it alone multiple times.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

D0nnivain said:


> When women talk to each other we are generally nice, polite & sensitive. When some men talk to each other it's rude, vulgar & can be downright gross. On the calmer end of the scale they call each other stink-breath, fart-face etc. At the farther ends, when asked not to do something they do that very thing & flip you off for not taking a joke. Good news (sort of) -- your husband's buddy thinks you are one of the guys & he can do this because he feels comfortable. Bad news -- this is who he is.
> 
> You two owe each other mutual apologies but you're gonna have to go first because the Martian doesn't even know what he did wrong. Say something to him in person or at least on the phone, not through text, about you two having a communications issue. Upon further reflection you now know he was joking but it wasn't something you found funny or acceptable. Ask if he'd be willing to be a bit more genteel in his interactions if you promise to develop a thicker skin. Then you kind of write him off & don't engage going forward.
> 
> ...


But he really wasn't joking. I know him better than that.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

pastasauce79 said:


> I thought they weren't talking to each other anymore?


Oh and you think that's going to last forever? I doubt it. The two guys talked something was said that wasn't a joke (beyond what we know like calling his wife a *****), her husband got mad cause it's no longer a joke or funny. They aren't talking now in a few days I bet it all blows over. That's what happens with guys and children usually. I'd be shocked if the whole friendship is over.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> The guys aren't talking to each other anymore. I don't know why, my husband won't tell me what was said. I just know that I told him to leave it alone multiple times.


Most likely your husband won't tell you because the guy continued to be a **** might have called you names and your husband wants to keep that from you?


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

Anastasia6 said:


> Oh and you think that's going to last forever? I doubt it. The two guys talked something was said that wasn't a joke (beyond what we know like calling his wife a ***), her husband got mad cause it's no longer a joke or funny. They aren't talking now in a few days I bet it all blows over. That's what happens with guys and children usually. I'd be shocked if the whole friendship is over.


This is what I told my husband. Be patient, it will blow over. The guy is fighting with his wife over this too because she probably stuck up for me?


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> Alright men - I'm willing to listen. Yesterday, my husband's friend decided to flip me off and basically just say **** you to me because of something really stupid and it hurt my feelings. This was in a group chat. I asked him to send texts instead of videos. He responded with a few videos saying no and then sent one of him flipping me off and the look on his face was not nice. So I got upset and left the chat. My husband sees that about a half hour later (I just didn't respond - we are both at work and I didn't want to be upset so I just left the chat) and texts me asking me why I left. I told him that his friend hurt my feelings. He told me that I shouldn't take it serious and then started scolding me because I left the chat. Then the friend apparently got in to a fight with his wife over it and now they are fighting (I'm going to assume that she stuck up for me?) but so now him and my husband aren't friends - husband is mad at me because I 'created' this and I said nothing but just left the chat. I'm lost.


Your husband better get his priorities straight. You can "just leave a chat" anytime you want to. People do it all the time. Your husband's friend flipped you off and your husband is mad at you. I'd say both he and his friend need to do a little growing up. Meanwhile, you are under no obligation to continue chatting with anyone.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Just get yourself out of these chats.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Just get yourself out of these chats.


I absolutely did


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

Anastasia6 said:


> Most likely your husband won't tell you because the guy continued to be a **** might have called you names and your husband wants to keep that from you?


It's possible. I don't know what happened this morning between the two of them


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## harperlee (May 1, 2018)

Pro tip: Try life without social media.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

harperlee said:


> Pro tip: Try life without social media.


Does that exist anymore?


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> Does that exist anymore?


It does for me. But… I’m “out of the loop” regularly 🤣


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> Alright men - I'm willing to listen. Yesterday, my husband's friend decided to flip me off and basically just say **** you to me because of something really stupid and it hurt my feelings. This was in a group chat. I asked him to send texts instead of videos. He responded with a few videos saying no and then sent one of him flipping me off and the look on his face was not nice. So I got upset and left the chat. My husband sees that about a half hour later (I just didn't respond - we are both at work and I didn't want to be upset so I just left the chat) and texts me asking me why I left. I told him that his friend hurt my feelings. He told me that I shouldn't take it serious and then started scolding me because I left the chat. Then the friend apparently got in to a fight with his wife over it and now they are fighting (I'm going to assume that she stuck up for me?) but so now him and my husband aren't friends - husband is mad at me because I 'created' this and I said nothing but just left the chat. I'm lost.


If one of my friends did that to Mrs. Conan, he would have a lot more to worry about than trouble with his wife or not being my friend.

I have " conversations" with men who treat my wife roughly and they are very sorry, on their knees, apologizing to her in public sorry.

If you had started a fight, I would still deal with a friend who treated you roughly but I also would talk with you about starting trouble.

I don't understand your husband unless there is some information we don't have.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

ConanHub said:


> If one of my friends did that to Mrs. Conan, he would have a lot more to worry about than trouble with his wife or not being my friend.
> 
> I have " conversations" with men who treat my wife roughly and they are very sorry, on their knees, apologizing to her in public sorry.
> 
> ...


He said that I embarrassed him and over reacted by leaving the chat and got mad


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> They treat me like I'm their buddy which is fine. I can hang with them better than most of the guys do but at some point - the look on his face says he was mad because he didn't want to do it. That's where I felt disrespected and it hurt my feelings because at some point - I see this man as family. I didn't explain myself or try to argue or respond. I simply just left the chat and when my husband asked why, I said the guy hurt my feelings and that I needed time to breath. So then the husband starts a fight with me. Probably started a fight with his friend too from the sounds of it because now they aren't talking.


Ok, this jerk needs an attitude "adjustment".

Your husband should 100% be backing you and ripping this idiot's face off "figuratively" speaking of course.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> He said that I embarrassed him and over reacted by leaving the chat and got mad


Your husband needs to grow up.

Send him here and I'll tell him some true stories about standing up for women, especially your wife.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

ConanHub said:


> Your husband needs to grow up.
> 
> Send him here and I'll tell him some true stories about standing up for women, especially your wife.


He probably did, and that's probably why they aren't talking. He turned a mole hill in to a crater. He should have just left it.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> He probably did, and that's probably why they aren't talking. He turned a mole hill in to a crater. He should have just left it.


Then he shouldn't be grumpy with you.

He absolutely should have confronted the idiot but he shouldn't be anything but loving with you afterward.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> He probably did, and that's probably why they aren't talking. He turned a mole hill in to a crater. He should have just left it.


He should not have just left it.
I hope he did confront the guy and made “respect” part of his vocabulary when it comes to his wife.


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## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

Anastasia6 said:


> Oh and you think that's going to last forever? I doubt it. The two guys talked something was said that wasn't a joke (beyond what we know like calling his wife a ***), her husband got mad cause it's no longer a joke or funny. They aren't talking now in a few days I bet it all blows over. That's what happens with guys and children usually. I'd be shocked if the whole friendship is over.


As a wife, I have no patience for immature games. Both of them need to grow up and find better friends.


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## Reluctant Texan (5 mo ago)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> I did. I left the chat. That's what started the whole thing. If he would have been laughing, it would have been one thing but the look on his face said something completely different. I love the guys and care about all of them and this one is more family than anything. He simply just doesn't get along with anybody that doesn't follow suite of him


that's kinda bizarre... Is this guy known for having a dry or mean sense of humor like that?

Either way, sounds like he was out of line. 

It's 2022... I think most people know dead pan humor and sarcasm don't translate well in text or on the internet. And so he should've done something to make up for it. 

plus

ball's in his court.

the fact that he's fighting with his own wife over it tells me some other issues might be going on. maybe he's stressed; maybe he just got up on the wrong side of the bed that day. who knows? I'd stay out of the chat until he makes amends.


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## Quad73 (May 10, 2021)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> Does that exist anymore?


A dramatically less dramatic (real) life exists without social media. So many of the issues here on TAM involve childish online flirting games, he said she said crap, friendships that go sideways and boredom induced trouble. Just look at what's happening to your friends now because of some pointless long-winded group chat. Obviously I'm biased. Opt out of everything you can & LIVE a happier life. It's so easy to miscommunicate online, and the majority of interactions are unnecessary, misinformed or worse. Did I mention I'm biased lol. I hope this blows over for you, but make the best of this fork in the road and remove yourself where possible.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

Quad73 said:


> A dramatically less dramatic (real) life exists without social media. So many of the issues here on TAM involve childish online flirting games, he said she said crap, friendships that go sideways and boredom induced trouble. Just look at what's happening to your friends now because of some pointless long-winded group chat. Obviously I'm biased. Opt out of everything you can & LIVE a happier life. It's so easy to miscommunicate online, and the majority of interactions are unnecessary, misinformed or worse. Did I mention I'm biased lol. I hope this blows over for you, but make the best of this fork in the road and remove yourself where possible.


It will blow over. I don't think its the friends causing any of the issue - I think its my husband being paranoid that his friends are mad at him and he's stirring up storms but he doesn't see it. He's an alcoholic and narcisistic so it can be quite complicated. We were up until probably 2am arguing about it. He was drunk and I was tired. I'm going to hear about this for forever because I left this stupid chat. I bailed on him. That's how he is seeing it. I'm over it.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> Alright men - I'm willing to listen. Yesterday, my husband's friend decided to flip me off and basically just say **** you to me because of something really stupid and it hurt my feelings. This was in a group chat. I asked him to send texts instead of videos. He responded with a few videos saying no and then sent one of him flipping me off and the look on his face was not nice. So I got upset and left the chat. My husband sees that about a half hour later (I just didn't respond - we are both at work and I didn't want to be upset so I just left the chat) and texts me asking me why I left. I told him that his friend hurt my feelings. He told me that I shouldn't take it serious and then started scolding me because I left the chat. Then the friend apparently got in to a fight with his wife over it and now they are fighting (I'm going to assume that she stuck up for me?) but so now him and my husband aren't friends - husband is mad at me because I 'created' this and I said nothing but just left the chat. I'm lost.


Hubby is being insensitive to you and his buddy is an ass.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

Divinely Favored said:


> Hubby is being insensitive to you and his buddy is an ass.


He's mad at me because he feels that he's going to lose everything because he wants to stand by my side. I keep telling him to stop, that everything will blow over but he's afraid that it won't and that he's going to lose his friends over it and they probably don't even care that I left the chat. He did give me some insight on why him and friend are arguing though. Friend's wife is one of my best friends. When this happened - when I left the chat, hubby seen it and started yelling at me, telling me that I needed to stop being so emotional and dramatic, that his friend was joking. So I called wife to vent. I was already having a bad day. I'm assuming that what happened next was when her husband got home, he said something to her about it and she then in turn started telling him that I said that my husband was yelling at me for it - he does become quite protective when he feels that my husband is out of line about things which in turn caused them to start fighting because he doesn't want to hear about our crap. So things spiraled from there. All while I was at my doctors appointment. They got in to a huge fight. Husband is upset with me for leaving the chat and now he has to stick up for me to his friend because his friend said some stupid crap. From what I'm gathering, my husband says that he was giving him crap and telling him that he simply just should never tell me no and the friend probably took him serious. I still really don't think that friend was joking. At the end of the day, this is all basically my fault.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> At the end of the day, this is all basically my fault.


I disagree with this.

This whole thing is one big drama that really seems overblown and unnecessary.

But it's not your fault for having boundaries and enforcing them.
It's quite the right thing to do.
You're just friends with children in my opinion.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> They treat me like I'm their buddy which is fine. I can hang with them better than most of the guys do but at some point - the look on his face says he was mad because he didn't want to do it. That's where I felt disrespected and it hurt my feelings because at some point - I see this man as family. I didn't explain myself or try to argue or respond. I simply just left the chat and when my husband asked why, I said the guy hurt my feelings and that I needed time to breath. So then the husband starts a fight with me. Probably started a fight with his friend too from the sounds of it because now they aren't talking.


I don't know if you should have said, "He hurt my feelings" to me I would have thought, why is my wife emotionally vulnerable to what my buddy says?

My wife would have said, "I left the chat because buddy was being an asshole!" 

One says to me, wife is emotionally vested in what this other guy thinks or says to her. Other says wife has a boundary and is not going to tolerate others BS!


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

Divinely Favored said:


> I don't know if you should have said, "He hurt my feelings" to me I would have thought, why is my wife emotionally vulnerable to what my buddy says?
> 
> My wife would have said, "I left the chat because buddy was being an asshole!"
> 
> One says to me, wife is emotionally vested in what this other guy thinks or says to her. Other says wife has a boundary and is not going to tolerate others BS!


I'm really not following you on that one and have to disagree. Emotionally vested because my feelings were hurt? Your feelings can be hurt by a complete stranger. I have feelings. I'm a human being.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Anastasia6 said:


> Oh and you think that's going to last forever? I doubt it. The two guys talked something was said that wasn't a joke (beyond what we know like calling his wife a ***), her husband got mad cause it's no longer a joke or funny. They aren't talking now in a few days I bet it all blows over. That's what happens with guys and children usually. I'd be shocked if the whole friendship is over.


I removed myself from a friendship because it was no longer a good one for my marriage/family....we did not even get cross. The guy was my best man, but his choices I did nott want around my family.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

BeyondRepair007 said:


> I disagree with this.
> 
> This whole thing is one big drama that really seems overblown and unnecessary.
> 
> ...


I'm really just waiting for God to step in and call time out because this is becoming emotionally exhausting.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> He said that I embarrassed him and over reacted by leaving the chat and got mad


Woo. Tell him you're embarrassed that he has such an asshat friend and then gets butthurt when the guy crosses the line and insults his wife.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Woo. Tell him you're embarrassed that he has such an ass at friend and then gets bubble when the guy crosses the line and insults his wife.


Him and his friend are fighting over this.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

Reluctant Texan said:


> I think most people know dead pan humor and sarcasm don't translate well in text or on the internet. And so he should've done something to make up for it.


My attempts are humor are very dry. They have gotten me into trouble many times, including getting me my only ban (so far) here on TAM. 

If your friendship is destroyed because of this event, it was not a strong friendship. Take care of yourself. 

Why did you waste time arguing with a drunk?


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> I'm really not following you on that one and have to disagree. Emotionally vested because my feelings were hurt? Your feelings can be hurt by a complete stranger. I have feelings. I'm a human being.


I don't give a crap about what a stranger says, nor would I get my feeling hurt by a friend, they may do or say something to anger me, but only my wife can injure me emotionally.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

Divinely Favored said:


> I don't give a crap about what a stranger says, nor would I get my feeling hurt by a friend, they may do or say something to anger me, but only my wife can injure me emotionally.


Well I am not you. I have good days and bad days but sometimes, my feelings do get hurt. This man and his wife are like family to us. We spend a lot of time with them.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

Sfort said:


> My attempts are humor are very dry. They have gotten me into trouble many times, including getting me my only ban (so far) here on TAM.
> 
> If your friendship is destroyed because of this event, it was not a strong friendship. Take care of yourself.
> 
> Why did you waste time arguing with a drunk?


I don't even know, tbh with you. I feel like the husbands are throwing fits behind closed doors?


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> He said that I embarrassed him and over reacted by leaving the chat and got mad


So now he is being emotional and OMG concerned about what others think about him and his wife. He needs to get his priorities straight. Your spouse comes 1st before buddies. You treat my wife with disrespect, we are gonna have issues. Wife and I are one, you do something to my wife...you are doing it to me.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> I don't even know, tbh with you. I feel like the husbands are throwing fits behind closed doors?


That's their choice. Be happy.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

Divinely Favored said:


> So now he is being emotional and OMG concerned about what others think about him and his wife. He needs to get his priorities straight. Your spouse comes 1st before buddies. You treat my wife with disrespect, we are gonna have issues. Wife and I are one, you do something to my wife...you are doing it to me.


I didn't want to argue with his friend who offended me, so I left the chat. Apparently, it would have been better in my husbands eyes to tell him to f off but then I don't want to be like that.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Was he having a bad day? Or is he just naturally an ass? Maybe his wife was not in the mood last night and he was frustrated at her, and you being her bestie...don't know. Does he have a female supv. at work...maybe he got his butt chewed and he was angry and irritated by the female boss and he lashed out at you? 

There were always parolees at work that had issue with taking direction/instruction from my women officers. Sometimes I had to dress the guys down, as the office supervisor or if I knew it was a serious issue, they were moved to male officer. 

Only you know this guys personality. Did you and his wife discuss it...wonder why he was acting an ass?


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## theloveofmylife (Jan 5, 2021)

It's called having boundaries, and people always get mad when you first enforce your boundaries. Too bad. 

You deserve to be treated with respect. If they can't do that then you have every right to remove yourself. They will get over it. If they don't, their loss.


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## Rayr44 (6 mo ago)

Hmmm! First world problems… 🧐


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

Divinely Favored said:


> Was he having a bad day? Or is he just naturally an ass? Maybe his wife was not in the mood last night and he was frustrated at her, and you being her bestie...don't know. Does he have a female supv. at work...maybe he got his butt chewed and he was angry and irritated by the female boss and he lashed out at you?
> 
> There were always parolees at work that had issue with taking direction/instruction from my women officers. Sometimes I had to dress the guys down, as the office supervisor or if I knew it was a serious issue, they were moved to male officer.
> 
> Only you know this guys personality. Did you and his wife discuss it...wonder why he was acting an ass?


Yes, I texted the wife after my husband got done yelling at me and said that I was getting yelled at for leaving the chat and that my feelings were hurt but said I left because I didn't want to fight back or say anything stupid. This is where I'm kind of thinking the friend got mad because he doesn't like to hear that his bestie isn't the kindest to his wife at times and then they start fighting. Which is why I said to her DO NOT TELL HIM. I should have just kept my mouth shut. I should have just left it alone which is what I was trying to do by leaving the chat. Hense my reasoning for saying that this is all my fault. I didn't find out that any of this other crap happened until last night, when my husband decided that it was time to scold me. This whole thing is stupid.


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## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

Your husband decided to scold you. Over this. How old is he again? Does he ever say "Bro's before ho's"?


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> I didn't want to argue with his friend who offended me, so I left the chat. Apparently, it would have been better in my husbands eyes to tell him to f off but then I don't want to be like that.


Why get down in the mud with them? That's the whole problem.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

uwe.blab said:


> Your husband decided to scold you. Over this. How old is he again? Does he ever say "Bro's before ho's"?


Yes. I guess I've never thought about that because most of the time I just take it as he's joking. We did talk for a long time last night though. The scolding wasn't forever. He's upset that we are in this situation. He's afraid that he's going to lose his friends for standing by his wife. He said that I'm not in the wrong and that he sees where I'm coming from. I keep telling him to just let it blow over.


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## Robert22205 (Jun 6, 2018)

I've been with men in very close stressful living conditions as well as relaxed social. This was not your typical guy banter. And if it was truly just a misplaced joke - the simple solution was an apology. Instead he doubled down and convicted himself of being a bully.

I'm sorry you live in such a toxic social circle. Bullying you ...observing your pain ... and then calling it a 'joke' (rather than a simple sorry) is classic toxic behavior. You can't change your GF's husband - but you need to distance yourself from this guy.

Every time you're near a toxic person they steal a piece of you. And your husband (an alcoholic) needs to find less toxic friends. IMO most men respect other men who stand up for their wife (right or wrong they admire loyalty).


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

Robert22205 said:


> I've been with men in very close stressful living conditions as well as relaxed social. This was not your typical guy banter. And if it was truly just a misplaced joke - the simple solution was an apology. Instead he doubled down and convicted himself of being a bully.
> 
> I'm sorry you live in such a toxic social circle. Bullying you ...observing your pain ... and then calling it a 'joke' (rather than a simple sorry) is classic toxic behavior. You can't change your GF's husband - but you need to distance yourself from this guy.
> 
> Every time you're near a toxic person they steal a piece of you. And your husband (an alcoholic) needs to find less toxic friends. IMO most men respect other men who stand up for their wife (right or wrong they admire loyalty).


I know these men quite well and they aren't bad guys. They're all just a bunch of misplaced misfits that have found a home with each other. I don't want my husband to be upset with his friend. He believes that he was joking and I am standing my ground and telling him no - that the friend meant what he said because he didn't want to do what I simply asked which was to put all ideas in to text so that I can keep up with things. Husband said that if that's the case, they are done. I don't want that. I told him from the getgo that I just needed space and room to breath. That was it. In the husband's eyes, I started the banter when I called them all ladies that morning. I said 'good morning ladies, let's get this ball rolling'. So that makes it ok for him to 'jokingly' flip me off. It wasn't even that he flipped me off. It was the look at his face when he did it.


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## TinyTbone (6 mo ago)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> Alright men - I'm willing to listen. Yesterday, my husband's friend decided to flip me off and basically just say **** you to me because of something really stupid and it hurt my feelings. This was in a group chat. I asked him to send texts instead of videos. He responded with a few videos saying no and then sent one of him flipping me off and the look on his face was not nice. So I got upset and left the chat. My husband sees that about a half hour later (I just didn't respond - we are both at work and I didn't want to be upset so I just left the chat) and texts me asking me why I left. I told him that his friend hurt my feelings. He told me that I shouldn't take it serious and then started scolding me because I left the chat. Then the friend apparently got in to a fight with his wife over it and now they are fighting (I'm going to assume that she stuck up for me?) but so now him and my husband aren't friends - husband is mad at me because I 'created' this and I said nothing but just left the chat. I'm lost.


Based on most of the answers after this post, also on what you've said...you are absolutely in the right for your decision. The whole argument is immature all the way around. Butt hurt little boys. It was just freaking chat, not a life changing event. Get over it guys and you stick to your guns, cross your legs till the hubby pulls his own head outa his butt and comes to his collective senses!!


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## Reluctant Texan (5 mo ago)

Divinely Favored said:


> ...
> There were always parolees at work that had issue with taking direction/instruction from my women officers. Sometimes I had to dress the guys down, as the office supervisor or if I knew it was a serious issue, they were moved to male officer.
> ...


Yeah, I've seen that professionally as well; some guys (there's a heavy overlap with ones I'd consider mediocre at their own jobs here) will get triggered by having to answer to or even _just listen to information_ from a woman.

Earlier in my career, I remember hearing a story about an older male attorney who would _NOT _stop interrupting a female attorney representing the other side. On conference calls, as soon as he would hear her voice, he'd basically start talking and even rambling so she couldn't get a word in. 

Other people involved noticed the dynamic, but it was an issue because the other side was _her client _and she could not very well avoid being on the calls, nor should she. The solution was for her to bring an even younger female attorney on the calls, who would "trigger" him, and then she could step in as "the voice of reason," and say her piece. 

I remember thinking it was embarassing for him, since everyone on the call picked up on the dynamic, and it really undermined his credibility and professional reputation among those involved - even his own client, who made some comments indicating they were uncomfortable with him as well.

It was a good lesson for me to think about and reminder to never be an ass like that! 

But it goes to show you that some guys have issues with women that just come out in these group settings, and it's not the woman's fault, and she (or the OP) should not blame herself for it.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

TinyTbone said:


> Based on most of the answers after this post, also on what you've said...you are absolutely in the right for your decision. The whole argument is immature all the way around. Butt hurt little boys. It was just freaking chat, not a life changing event. Get over it guys and you stick to your guns, cross your legs till the hubby pulls his own head outa his butt and comes to his collective senses!!


I don't want to be right - I just don't want us to lose our friends over this stupid crap. Thank you <3


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## Reluctant Texan (5 mo ago)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> I don't want to be right - I just don't want us to lose our friends over this stupid crap. Thank you <3


Emotions are still raw here. Let it go for now, and see if people calm down and move on, or if they escalate things. If the latter, then you know they're not really friends, they're acquantances with emotional issues and you should avoid them for the time being (or forever). 

Your husband should understand. If he doesn't, well... talk about it. Hopefully he doesn't take this to be a "slippery slope" where you try to gradually isolate him from his buddies. 

Some friends are just not compatible with one's relationship. While one shouldn't have to cut contact with them completely, one may have to. You husband may need to learn that lesson still. 

It's probably harder in your 20's and younger 30's when you're still around social groups with single people. It gets easier when you're older and people mature a bit more.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

Reluctant Texan said:


> Emotions are still raw here. Let it go for now, and see if people calm down and move on, or if they escalate things. If the latter, then you know they're not really friends, they're acquantances with emotional issues and you should avoid them for the time being (or forever).
> 
> Your husband should understand. If he doesn't, well... talk about it. Hopefully he doesn't take this to be a "slippery slope" where you try to gradually isolate him from his buddies.
> 
> ...


I am patiently waiting for that day. We did meet a very nice christian couple that lives two houses down from us and they seem to have their crap together pretty well. 

I want to let it go and move on from it but he's still pretty upset over it. He's also sick. I think he has covid. I told him to just let it blow over which he should have done in the first place but now I think he's on damage control and doesn't want to admit that he caused the damage. He should have just told the guys that I was having a bad day instead of calling me and yelling at me for leaving the chat. 
He's 35 and I'm told by not only him but everybody around that I am his first actual real relationship outside of the mother of his child which ended 10 years ago and they were together in their late teens, early 20s and from my understanding - it was a horrible relationship. He doesn't think that I'm trying to isolate him from his friends though. The only time that he brings that up is when I get mad at him for ditching plans that we already have and then going and doing something with them. Or telling me that he will be home at 7 for dinner and then not making it home until midnight.


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## Reluctant Texan (5 mo ago)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> I am patiently waiting for that day. We did meet a very nice christian couple that lives two houses down from us and they seem to have their crap together pretty well.
> 
> I want to let it go and move on from it but he's still pretty upset over it. He's also sick. I think he has covid. I told him to just let it blow over which he should have done in the first place but now I think he's on damage control and doesn't want to admit that he caused the damage. He should have just told the guys that I was having a bad day instead of calling me and yelling at me for leaving the chat.
> He's 35 and I'm told by not only him but everybody around that I am his first actual real relationship outside of the mother of his child which ended 10 years ago and they were together in their late teens, early 20s and from my understanding - it was a horrible relationship. He doesn't think that I'm trying to isolate him from his friends though. *The only time that he brings that up is when I get mad at him for ditching plans that we already have and then going and doing something with them. Or telling me that he will be home at 7 for dinner and then not making it home until midnight*.


I hate reading things like that, b/c I never did things like that in my marriage or my current r/s and I _STILL _get a lot of crap from my partners... some women just don't know what to appreciate in their man!

jeez.

Sounds like you need to have a talk with him about what you expect from the marriage, and put some guardrails around this behavior. I think it's probably okay once and a while to get rowdy with your buddies, but how often is he going out like that? Weekly or monthly are even probably too much for a married guy over 35 to be doing. 

Do you go out with friends and stay out late like that? Would you? Sounds like he needs to learn to start to dial this back.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> I don't want to be right - I just don't want us to lose our friends over this stupid crap. Thank you <3


But it falls right in the buddy's lap. He is the ****bird here.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

Reluctant Texan said:


> I hate reading things like that, b/c I never did things like that in my marriage or my current r/s and I _STILL _get a lot of crap from my partners... some women just don't know what to appreciate in their man!
> 
> jeez.
> 
> ...


I do not. I work more than full time and deal with a lot of stresses so I would rather be at home. And if I do go somewhere, it's friends that I have had for 20 years or so and I hang out with the kids and I'm rarely out past 8. I told him this in the beginning, what I expected and it was fine because he didn't really have the friends that he has now. And he worked out of town a lot. Now he has these guys and he really has cut back on the time with them and he is trying to spend more time with me at home so I really can't complain in that department anymore. We will get there! I know this!


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> I know these men quite well and they aren't bad guys. They're all just a bunch of misplaced misfits that have found a home with each other. I don't want my husband to be upset with his friend. He believes that he was joking and I am standing my ground and telling him no - that the friend meant what he said because he didn't want to do what I simply asked which was to put all ideas in to text so that I can keep up with things. Husband said that if that's the case, they are done. I don't want that. I told him from the getgo that I just needed space and room to breath. That was it. In the husband's eyes, I started the banter when I called them all ladies that morning. I said 'good morning ladies, let's get this ball rolling'. So that makes it ok for him to 'jokingly' flip me off. It wasn't even that he flipped me off. It was the look at his face when he did it.


That is not the same....if when you said what you did...he then said "Oh screw you" or something to that right after you spoke...that would be joking. But not what he did...he was being a total ass.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> Yes. I guess I've never thought about that because most of the time I just take it as he's joking. We did talk for a long time last night though. The scolding wasn't forever. He's upset that we are in this situation. He's afraid that he's going to lose his friends for standing by his wife. He said that I'm not in the wrong and that he sees where I'm coming from. I keep telling him to just let it blow over.


I'd rather loose someone I thought was a friend, than to loose the respect of my wife by not standing up for her.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

Divinely Favored said:


> I'd rather loose someone I thought was a friend, than to loose the respect of my wife by not standing up for her.


I think that's why he's so angry. Because the guys started talking crap and he stuck up for me so he's upset with the guys. This is what I got out of last nights convo.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> I am patiently waiting for that day. We did meet a very nice christian couple that lives two houses down from us and they seem to have their crap together pretty well.
> 
> I want to let it go and move on from it but he's still pretty upset over it. He's also sick. I think he has covid. I told him to just let it blow over which he should have done in the first place but now I think he's on damage control and doesn't want to admit that he caused the damage. He should have just told the guys that I was having a bad day instead of calling me and yelling at me for leaving the chat.
> He's 35 and I'm told by not only him but everybody around that I am his first actual real relationship outside of the mother of his child which ended 10 years ago and they were together in their late teens, early 20s and from my understanding - it was a horrible relationship. He doesn't think that I'm trying to isolate him from his friends though. The only time that he brings that up is when I get mad at him for ditching plans that we already have and then going and doing something with them. Or telling me that he will be home at 7 for dinner and then not making it home until midnight.


WTH....He better be working OT.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> I think that's why he's so angry. Because the guys started talking crap and he stuck up for me so he's upset with the guys. This is what I got out of last nights convo.


I get that, I would expect more from a friend. But he is not right *****ing to you.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> I think that's why he's so angry. Because the guys started talking crap and he stuck up for me so he's upset with the guys. This is what I got out of last nights convo.


If he is getting dumped on by his "friends" of sticking up for his wife, perhaps he needs to re-evaluate those friends. You on the other hand need to show your appreciation for his loyalty.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

Divinely Favored said:


> If he is getting dumped on by his "friends" of sticking up for his wife, perhaps he needs to re-evaluate those friends. You on the other hand need to show your appreciation for his loyalty.


Did you read any of my posts from prior to this? I didn't know any of this until last night. As I stated, I left the chat. He yelled at me and then all I knew was that he said it turned in to a **** show. I told him last night I by no means want him to end any friendships. Not even with the guy that did it, that I just needed a moment to breath. The husband is mad at ALL of us right now. I show him appreciation even when it isn't due - I love my husband wholeheartedly. I try to treat him (and others) how I feel that I should be treated.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> Alright men - I'm willing to listen. Yesterday, my husband's friend decided to flip me off and basically just say **** you to me because of something really stupid and it hurt my feelings. This was in a group chat. I asked him to send texts instead of videos. He responded with a few videos saying no and then sent one of him flipping me off and the look on his face was not nice. So I got upset and left the chat. My husband sees that about a half hour later (I just didn't respond - we are both at work and I didn't want to be upset so I just left the chat) and texts me asking me why I left. I told him that his friend hurt my feelings. He told me that I shouldn't take it serious and then started scolding me because I left the chat. Then the friend apparently got in to a fight with his wife over it and now they are fighting (I'm going to assume that she stuck up for me?) but so now him and my husband aren't friends - husband is mad at me because I 'created' this and I said nothing but just left the chat. I'm lost.


If this is the most important thing in your life, you are living a blessed life.

People get angry, they say things they shouldn't, life goes on. 

This is not Junior High School. 

If this "friend" of your husband stops being your husbands "friend" because his friends wife sides with you or because you left a chat, he wasn't much of a true friend.

Put it behind you and get on with your life. Tell hubby to get on with his life.

Good luck.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

I was not attacking you. I was kind of appalled on behalf of you & him that his friends would act like that.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

D0nnivain said:


> I was not attacking you. I was kind of appalled on behalf of you & him that his friends would act like that.


Thank you. I think I may apologize (even tho I have a few times) for him having to deal with this. He said last night that knows that I wasn't trying to make it worse.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> Thank you. I think I may apologize (even tho I have a few times) for him having to deal with this. He said last night that knows that I wasn't trying to make it worse.


Has he apologized for being mad at you last night? Frankly you did nothing wrong as described. So himthen coming and dressing you down and being embarrassed is ********.

Because he won’t actually communicate with you, you don’t even know if the fallout is because he stuck up for you or not.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

Anastasia6 said:


> Has he apologized for being mad at you last night? Frankly you did nothing wrong as described. So himthen coming and dressing you down and being embarrassed is ******.
> 
> Because he won’t actually communicate with you, you don’t even know if the fallout is because he stuck up for you or not.


He did in his own way. He had me listen to this song basically about a nagging wife making her husband want to be on the other side of town. I started crying and paused it on him but he turned it back on and said listen to it but the roles are reversed. It was basically him stating that he does see the way that he is towards me at times and he started giggling and apologized. It still made me cry. I understand where he is coming from in the sense that I abandoned him and his friends but he needs to see that he blew it out of proportion and now we don't have our close friends because of it. It will blow over tho. 

The fallout is because he stuck up for me. He said that the friend had some choice words to say and won't tell me what they are.


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## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> Alright men - I'm willing to listen. Yesterday, my husband's friend decided to flip me off and basically just say **** you to me because of something really stupid and it hurt my feelings. This was in a group chat. I asked him to send texts instead of videos. He responded with a few videos saying no and then sent one of him flipping me off and the look on his face was not nice. So I got upset and left the chat. My husband sees that about a half hour later (I just didn't respond - we are both at work and I didn't want to be upset so I just left the chat) and texts me asking me why I left. I told him that his friend hurt my feelings. He told me that I shouldn't take it serious and then started scolding me because I left the chat. Then the friend apparently got in to a fight with his wife over it and now they are fighting (I'm going to assume that she stuck up for me?) but so now him and my husband aren't friends - husband is mad at me because I 'created' this and I said nothing but just left the chat. I'm lost.


All you did was leave the chat. It was his friend that was being an a**hole, whether he was trying to be funny with it or not. Unless there is more context here, you are not in the wrong, IMO. Your husband should have gotten mad at his friend being a jackass.


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## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> That's what the husband said. To give it back. But then I give crap back and he gets mad at me for it. I can't win.


Next time just send him back something like this...


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> He's afraid that he's going to lose his friends for standing by his wife.


That’s ridiculous anyway, who cares?

If one of my friends pissed off my wife badly and she had it with them that would be it for that friend and that’s an easy choice.

Even if someone in my family did it, that would basically be it for that person.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

drencrom said:


> Next time just send him back something like this...
> 
> View attachment 89575


That's what my husband said. To give it back.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

ccpowerslave said:


> That’s ridiculous anyway, who cares?
> 
> If one of my friends pissed off my wife badly and she had it with them that would be it for that friend and that’s an easy choice.
> 
> Even if someone in my family did it, that would basically be it for that person.


I don't want to be that wife. I told him this. I left the chat because I didn't want it to go south. But then he got mad, and it went south


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## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

Sounds like a dude response you took to heart?


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

Bulfrog1987 said:


> Sounds like a dude response you took to heart?


It was the look on his face more than anything


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

Well, husband just finally told me what happened. They basically argued for 3 days and dude finally said some words about me, my husband told him to do better with his household and that was it.


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## hub49 (7 mo ago)

Perhaps your husband should marry his buddy instead. Problem solved? Honestly, this whole thing sounds like a tempest in a tea pot.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

hub49 said:


> Perhaps your husband should marry his buddy instead. Problem solved? Honestly, this whole thing sounds like a tempest in a tea pot.


What do you mean


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## hub49 (7 mo ago)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> What do you mean


Your husband should marry his buddy if he's not going to take up for you. A tempest in a tea pot means this is something small that has been blown out or proportion. Is it clear now?


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