# Did he use me for a green card?



## LoveShel (Nov 5, 2010)

I have been married for almost a year and things have been falling apart for a long time. I had to marry my husband because he's visa was up and if I didn't he'd have to go back to South Africa for quite awhile. I was so in love with him so I married him. Ever since we got married he's been a completely different person. I used to listen to me, work out our fights (if we even had any) and he treated me like a princess. Now he often leaves in the middle of a fight and doesn't come home for the night or sometimes even days. When that happens he doesn't tell me where he's going and he ignores any contact that I try to make with him. He doesn't want to listen to me when I'm feeling sad or depressed. And if divorce ever gets brought up he just says well go do it then. He hardly ever wears his wedding ring (he says he forgets) I've talked to him about all this and he sometimes he says he needs to change and other times he doesn't think that he needs to. He's very stubborn and I can't even get through to him. He never thinks he does anything wrong and never apologizes for anything he does. I'm thinking about getting a divorce because I dont think that he is ever going to change and I can't continue to be with him if this is how it's always going to be. I would greatly appreciate some advice as I'm completely lost on what to do.


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## thestruggle (Nov 5, 2010)

What you're going through must be really hard to bear. How much do you feel you love him, and need him? The way he replies go do it then stands out to me. I've often said that to my wife when I feel like I've had enough fighting. What I really want is good times with her again but don't know how to get there, she being so angry as am I. But I have to admit it, if she wants to leave so be it. 

That he admits he needs to change to you(sometimes admits) is great. Many people never get that from a spouse. 

What are the main 'dealbreakers' for you that make you think it's time to start the process of separating?


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

What were your fighting about? Not enough information to see who's wrong. You can't expected being treated like a princess unless you treated him like a prince in a marriage.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Country Apple (Nov 7, 2010)

I'm in a similar situation with my husband who is also not from this country. He received a green card through our marriage as well. How long have you been married? How long was he in the United States before you married?


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