# She made me happy...



## My 8 year mistake (Nov 7, 2018)

Well, so it has begun. He lawyer has filed dv charges against me. At least now I have no doubt I made the right decision in moving to D.

I'm happy.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

How can that be if you have no contact?

You need to counter that with your own attorney. You don't want that on your record.


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## niceguy47460 (Dec 23, 2018)

What do you mean dv charges


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## My 8 year mistake (Nov 7, 2018)

Domestic violence=dv. Recieved the court notice on saturday. Appearance in feb. My advocate is already on it.

Out here, dv charges go hand in hand with divorces.


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## My 8 year mistake (Nov 7, 2018)

Marc878 said:


> How can that be if you have no contact?
> 
> You need to counter that with your own attorney. You don't want that on your record.


Who needs contact? They can file for charges citing dv as reason for non contact. Anyway evidence is required which she lacks.


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## My 8 year mistake (Nov 7, 2018)

Forgot to add - I put the reason for our D proceedings on FB as well as mailed her friends with a few screenshots of her texts with OM. She wanted war, I dropped the N word


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

It's hard to fight the truth. Keep all your evidence in a secure place. It sounds like you have a lot.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

My 8 year mistake said:


> Domestic violence=dv. Recieved the court notice on saturday. Appearance in feb. My advocate is already on it.
> 
> Out here, dv charges go hand in hand with divorces.


Out where? That sounds outrageous.


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## niceguy47460 (Dec 23, 2018)

Nuke the hell out of her . check to see if you can go after their work place for damages since it started there and i would report them to the company since it did start there . hell you could put it all in the news paper . i would blow the whole thing out of the water since she is throwing the first punch .


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Stay off of facebook


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

Here in the south of the US almost every woman files DV charges first. It's quite the norm. Judges are on to that garbage now.


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

Fight fire with fire. I sincerley hope you have a ruthless shark of an attorney.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

In the US, even a false domestic violence charge can destroy your ability to own firearms or go hunting at anytime in the future.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

StillSearching said:


> Here in the south of the US almost every woman files DV charges first. It's quite the norm. Judges are on to that garbage now.


I'm a divorced woman in the South. I didn't file domestic violence charges when I filed for divorce. It was never even suggested as a possible tactic, by my female attorney nor anyone else I spoke with about the divorce, not even other divorced women. In fact, I don't know anyone who's filed domestic violence charges as part of a divorce, unless there was actually domestic violence in the home. Perhaps what you describe isn't so much regional (the South) as it is something more specific to your particular state or even locality.


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## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

Rowan said:


> I'm a divorced woman in the South. I didn't file domestic violence charges when I filed for divorce. It was never even suggested as a possible tactic, by my female attorney nor anyone else I spoke with about the divorce, not even other divorced women. In fact, I don't know anyone who's filed domestic violence charges as part of a divorce, unless there was actually domestic violence in the home. Perhaps what you describe isn't so much regional (the South) as it is something more specific to your particular state or even locality.


Typical conformation bias. And not banging on you at all, a lot of people think like this. 

I am in this area, of the law and law enforcement, and I can tell you that it happens on a daily basis. 

I mean multiple times a day. I have seen it first hand, hell, my ex w tried to provoke me when she knew I was finally done, you would have thought she knew better. 

I assure you that this happens ever single day in the US...


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## Anon Ten (Jan 11, 2019)

Rowan said:


> I'm a divorced woman in the South. I didn't file domestic violence charges when I filed for divorce. It was never even suggested as a possible tactic, by my female attorney nor anyone else I spoke with about the divorce, not even other divorced women. In fact, I don't know anyone who's filed domestic violence charges as part of a divorce, unless there was actually domestic violence in the home. Perhaps what you describe isn't so much regional (the South) as it is something more specific to your particular state or even locality.


Happened to my dad last year. This tactic is used to get the other spouse out of the house until the court date for the dv charges and then divorce is filed for. You spend the night in jail and then can't go home. I'm in the SE as well and according to my dad's lawyer, his wife's lawyer is likely the one who advised his wife to do this.
Come to find out later, his wife had been cheating on him for nearly a year.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

BluesPower said:


> Typical conformation bias. And not banging on you at all, a lot of people think like this.
> 
> I am in this area, of the law and law enforcement, and I can tell you that it happens on a daily basis.
> 
> ...


At least Twenty Five years ago when I was in the military one of the guys I worked with impulsively married a girl from home. She came out to where we were stationed and decided she didn't like being married after all. Since she had no money she filed DV charges against him and got a restraining order. She even had a friend take pictures of fake bruises done with makeup. 

Since he was in the military, he had to keep paying rent on the place but couldn't go home because of the restraining order. She moved her new boyfriend into his home. So, he had to pay for her to live in his home with another guy in his bed.

They had a hearing and about 12 of his friends went to be character witnesses but the judge didn't want to hear from us. I mean what can the court do? You have to take the woman's word for it because if she's not lying, she's in danger. It was so unfair. Of course there was no investigation and nothing ever happened to her for lying. There was no down side for her. And the thing is -- she wasn't even MAD at her husband, just young and dumb, wished she wasn't married and wanted to party.

For what it's worth, my friend got a TINY bit of revenge when another friend of his went into the house at night and took pictures of white her in bed with her boy toy who was black and sent the photos to her racist father.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Young at Heart said:


> In the US, even a false domestic violence charge can destroy your ability to own firearms or go hunting at anytime in the future.


Which would encourage more of these claims. But what is the law to do DV leads to murder much too frequently.


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## niceguy47460 (Dec 23, 2018)

I have seen women use dv charges and i have seen them accuse the other of the RA** . i know a guy and him and his woman would get in a argument abd she would hit him with a hot frying pan with hot food and the guy would go to jail and not her and he didn't even touch her


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

BluesPower said:


> Typical conformation bias. And not banging on you at all, a lot of people think like this.
> 
> I am in this area, of the law and law enforcement, and I can tell you that it happens on a daily basis.
> 
> ...


My divorce attorney told me the same thing.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

Mr. Nail said:


> Which would encourage more of these claims. But what is the law to do DV leads to murder much too frequently.


Judges are getting "hip" to it. More proof needed as should be.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

Mr. Nail said:


> Which would encourage more of these claims. But what is the law to do DV leads to murder much too frequently.


Exactly, the law is in a pickle here because if they ignore DV allegations people can end up dead. I do think they should investigate and prosecute for FALSE allegations though. As it is, there is no down side to lying about domestic violence. They would probably say they don't have the funding/man power to pursue that. And it's probably hard to prove the allegations are false. But they do happen all the time.


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## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

WorkingWife said:


> Exactly, the law is in a pickle here because if they ignore DV allegations people can end up dead. I do think they should investigate and prosecute for FALSE allegations though. As it is, there is no down side to lying about domestic violence. They would probably say they don't have the funding/man power to pursue that. And it's probably hard to prove the allegations are false. But they do happen all the time.


This is exactly the problem, I can state that as fact. If a woman make a false DV charge, or RO request, and it turns out to be false, the Law Enforcement Agency does not have the time or man power to pursue the issue. 

If they do file the charges, the Prosecutors do not have the time or the manpower to try the case. If they try the case, no juror is going to convict, because the really don't know if it happens and usually the evidence I murky at best. 

This type of this is one of those dichotomies that just never get fixed because no one has time, resources or the political will to actually deal with it. 

It sucks for the falsely accused man, the police agency, the courts, and any real victims of DV or rape or whatever. 

It is just one of the corners that our society has painted themselves into...


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## FieryHairedLady (Mar 24, 2011)

I should of filed charges against my ex, but I was too scared too.


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## FieryHairedLady (Mar 24, 2011)

False claims go the other way too. My ex had the cops at my door on phony charges twice. One of the days was the day he knew we were burying my mom, he also called my dad that day to say he was going to cut his foot off. I should of called the cops but didn't.


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## FieryHairedLady (Mar 24, 2011)

My ex even took our 6 y/o to the cop shop and told her to lie and say the bruise on her back was our fault. She went to the cop shop and told the truth. Then came home and told us what he did. SO we called the cops.

A report was made, but nothing was ever done to him.

Terrible.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

BluesPower said:


> Typical conformation bias. And not banging on you at all, a lot of people think like this.
> 
> I am in this area, of the law and law enforcement, and I can tell you that it happens on a daily basis.
> 
> ...





Anon Ten said:


> Happened to my dad last year. This tactic is used to get the other spouse out of the house until the court date for the dv charges and then divorce is filed for. You spend the night in jail and then can't go home. I'm in the SE as well and according to my dad's lawyer, his wife's lawyer is likely the one who advised his wife to do this.
> Come to find out later, his wife had been cheating on him for nearly a year.


Guys, put the pitchforks away. I was not saying it doesn't happen. Rather, that it isn't something that's particular to the South. As if every woman from Virginia to Texas is just waiting around to file domestic violence charges against her husband so she can steal him blind in the divorce. Plenty of Southern women don't do that. Just as women in other parts of the country do, or do not, according to their own motivations. If every woman in your town does this, then it's common where you are. It's not particularly common where I am. So, again, it may be common in your state or even your locality. But that doesn't mean it's happening all over every state or locality in the South, or anymore frequently here than in any other region of the country.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

My 8 year mistake said:


> Forgot to add - I put the reason for our D proceedings on FB as well as mailed her friends with a few screenshots of her texts with OM. She wanted war, I dropped the N word


What was the N word you dropped and where did you drop it and what necessitated it? Any reactions to the N word?


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

FieryHairedLady said:


> I should of filed charges against my ex, but I was too scared too.


*Get with your lawyer!

Provided that you have a case, it's never too late!*


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## FieryHairedLady (Mar 24, 2011)

arbitrator said:


> *Get with your lawyer!
> 
> Provided that you have a case, it's never too late!*


This was over 14 years ago. He has been dead for over a decade now.

Thank you though. :grin2:


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Years ago in AZ I worked with a battered husband. He used to come to work with bruises and scratches all over his face, neck and arms. His wife was a little gal...maybe 5'4" and 110 pounds, but she was a hellcat and she used to beat the holy hell out of him. After I left that company I ran into one of my ex coworkers a few month later and as we were catching up I asked him about that guy. The coworker told me that one night the guy had had enough of getting whooped on and he called the cops to report DV against his wife. 

Sure enough, the brilliant Tucson cops arrested him instead, despite the fact he was bleeding profusely, and despite his kids' statements that their mom had been systematically abusing him for years. He got locked out of their home, got charged with misdemeanor assault on his wife, and because of that DV arrest the company, by policy, had to fire him. 

The legal system can be selective about who it serves sometimes.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Blondilocks said:


> What was the N word you dropped and where did you drop it and what necessitated it? Any reactions to the N word?


I thought that was a weird post as well.

I think he meant “nuke”.


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