# Tired of being taken for granted



## MrNicePolarBear (Feb 8, 2019)

I don't know when my wife change and started taking me for granted. There was a time we always communicated with each other but now it seems like it's all about her and not a but not about me. I always thought marriage was about equality. I'm tired doing everything for her and she does very little in return for me. She has destroyed my credit to keep her lifestyle and to make sure her bills are paid for even though we have a joint account I have no access to. This is just a little taste of what I've been going through. There is no more romance or intimacy because I am so tired of being the one that does everything for her and her family and hardly get any appreciation for it. My wife taken me for granted because oh how her late ex-husband treated her? I'm apologize for my grammar. I'm not even sure if I'm getting the point across that I wanterd to. I feel like I've been a great husband. I have supported 3 stepkids that haven't treated me the greatest either. Until recently I put my health on back burner so that my wife and her kids could live the lifestyle that they are used to living. We are all women who wants to build family and believe in equality. My wife didn't used to be a diva, she used to be some one who wanted to get dirty and make the family strong. There are reasons why I haven't separated or divorce. I know im not perfect and I'm working on that, but I feel that isn't the reason . Any thoughts and/or advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you for taking the time read this post.

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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Bud, you are the one that let it happen. Laying in the victim chair will just get you more of what you've gotten.

If you're smart you'll stand up for yourself and quit being a doormat. 

Maybe you should read this it's short and is perfect for you.

https://archive.org/details/RobertGloverNoMoreMrNiceGuy


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## Luminous (Jan 14, 2018)

Is there a possibility that you are now just viewed as a meal ticket/ATM? 

Seems to be a common theme with someone stepping in for a previous partner... 

Can only go off what you have written, but a lack of respect from them, as well as a lack of self respect for you, is part of what I get out of this.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

First thing Monday get your finances separated and then start working on your health problems.It’s time you looked after yourself because nobody else is going to do it.
Remove yourself from any credit cards your wife has and make sure you aren’t named on any more she may get.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Having more info would help us give you better input.

How long have you been married to her?

How many children does she have and what are their ages? 

Does the father of her children pay child support?

Does your wife have a job?

Get the book "No More Mr. Nice Guy". You need to learn how to not allow her to do this.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

" She has destroyed my credit to keep her lifestyle and to make sure her bills are paid for even though we have a joint account I have no access to"

How is this a Joint account and you have no access?? By definition, you both have access, or it is HER account.
Separate your finances from her -- and if she asks why, tell her it is due to her financial misbehavior.
"m tired doing everything for her and she does very little in return for me."
STOP doing things for her if she does nothing for you -- why do you let her walk all over you?


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Yeah, I have one thing to lend that has nothing to do with divorce. 

When are you going to stop acting like a helpless victim in your life?

Read, and learn. Make sure you read this through the prism of what YOU are doing, not what your wife is doing.

https://www.lynneforrest.com/articles/2008/06/the-faces-of-victim/

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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

I agree with the previous posts. And I say that as some one who has been in your shoes. Do your self a favor and focus on your needs.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

They take advantage of you because you allow it. Separate your finances ASAP.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Why is divorce not an option?


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## MrNicePolarBear (Feb 8, 2019)

I want thank everyone for their input , right now dealing with a family emergency. I will reply soon

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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

Time to sit down and have a heart to heart talk with your wife. You need to explain to her how you feel and how you would like to see things. She needs to be responsible for her spending, your do not need to support her indulgences. If she is not working, now is the time for her to start so she can pay for her pampering. Thinking you are being the "good" husband and stepdad by giving your wife everything she wants is going to make you bitter and resentful.


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## Steve2.0 (Dec 11, 2017)

^^ go read 'no more mr. nice guy'

You became her bank account and she doesnt respect you because.... well you dont deserve it.

A man who owns his ****, and his family, wouldnt let his wife run down his credit. He might not even let three kids he didnt make siphon his money when their mommy wasnt worshiping him in the first place.

You even let YOUR health go on the backburner? In a plane they tell you to put your mask on first, not last. These people see you as nothing more than a financial support system and you have reinforced their beliefs by being 'mr nice' and breaking your back even more in order to buy respect. 


Hopefully I got you mad enough to buy the book recommended above and do something about your life. Otherwise, enjoy being stepped on


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