# wife not in love w/ me



## maynard2121 (Sep 25, 2009)

I am 31, we have been married for 2 years (9/2) and been together for 3 years prior. A week after our anniversary, my wife tells me she can be honest w/ herself and say that she is not in love w/ me anymore. 

We tried a session together but her mind was already made up. We have a wonderful friendship, and I am against giving up. The primary problems are a lack of communication, too much routine, and my not making her feel special. 

We have since decided not to divorce, to continue living together and focus on our friendship. She has stated that she is not open to a deeper future right now and don't know if she will ever be.

Is it wrong for me to remain hopeful? I know that I love her and am in love w/ her, I just neglected to communicate that to her through actions. I also have been extremely selfish- and did not attend a wedding and a funeral, due to rationalizations I bought into. I am a moron, and have accepted responsibility for my wrongs. I want to be the best husband I can be and I would like that to be w/ her. 

Any input is appreciated.

Evan


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## amberlynn (May 24, 2009)

Hi Evan, 

Im not sure how much help I can be here, but I'll give it a shot. I would suggest planning date nights, once a week, as if you werent married, but just starting to date. Don't push it though, give her space if she needs it, if she doesnt want to divorce and wants to continue living together, then thats a good sign. Surprise her with flowers when you come home from work one night, just let her know you still care. Theres always hope, it just takes time. Remeber, Love is always patient and kind. So, just take it slow and ease into it. Ask her if she would like to have a date night.


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## kmw51561 (Oct 26, 2009)

She's fallen in love with you once. I'm sure you can do it again. :wink:

Do things on your own. If you're like me, you may enjoy movies alone, having a nice lunch while you read a book. Do those things or spend more time with your friends. 

And also ask her to find time to spend with you. Don't assume she's going to be with you. Ask her if she'd like to go to dinner. Or a movie. Invite her to join you to watch television.

Whatever happens next, it will be the best for both you.


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