# My wife is texting her boss a lot



## Glasshalffull

My wife has been texting things to her boss like, I can’t wait to be your wife I will spoil you, we are perfect together, I love and adore you. My wife doesn’t know that I know. She left her phone unlocked I don’t know her code for her phone I found it sitting open and only read a few things before she walked back in the room. Should I talk to her or her boss about this. What should I do?


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## Diana7

Eliseo said:


> My wife has been texting things to her boss like, I can’t wait to be your wife I will spoil you, we are perfect together, I love and adore you. My wife doesn’t know that I know. She left her phone unlocked I don’t know her code for her phone I found it sitting open and only read a few things before she walked back in the room. Should I talk to her or her boss about this. What should I do?


Is he married? What will you do if she is having an affair?


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## Glasshalffull

Eliseo said:


> My wife has been texting things to her boss like, I can’t wait to be your wife I will spoil you, we are perfect together, I love and adore you. My wife doesn’t know that I know. She left her phone unlocked I don’t know her code for her phone I found it sitting open and only read a few things before she walked back in the room. Should I talk to her or her boss about this. What should I do?





Diana7 said:


> Is he married? What will you do if she is having an affair?


He and his wife had a baby, two months later she passed away From a drug overdose. The baby is four months old now, her boss lives alone with the baby and has a nanny and some days my wife helps babysit


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## Trident

She's babysitting alright.

What do you do? Your marriage is already over, she can't wait to be his wife. At this point it's only a question of who files first, you or her. Get your finances in order, protect your ASSets and get it done. There is some satisfaction of being proactive.


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## uphillbattle

First. Say nothing about it. Tomorrow make an appointment with a lawyer a.s.a.p. Move your money out of joint accounts. Next, listen to your lawyer.


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## Diana7

It sounds as if she is already partly taking the position of his wife by going round there to help with the baby. She clearly wants more though yet she hasn't started the divorce for whatever reason. 
Do you have children?


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## chazmataz33

Sounds like she's gone.why is she babysitting? Do you have kids?


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## Glasshalffull

Diana7 said:


> It sounds as if she is already partly taking the position of his wife by going round there to help with the baby. She clearly wants more though yet she hasn't started the divorce for whatever reason.
> Do you have children?


We have children but they’re grown we’ve been married for 30 years, I’m still not sure if I should talk to her boss or her about this


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## Glasshalffull

chazmataz33 said:


> Sounds like she's gone.why is she babysitting? Do you have kids?


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## Glasshalffull

We’ve been married for 30 years our boys are grown 30 years old and 21 years old


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## Glasshalffull

Glasshalffull said:


> We’ve been married for 30 years our boys are grown 30 years old and 21 years old


I’m still not sure if I should talk to her boss or her about this right now


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## Marc878

Glasshalffull said:


> My wife has been texting things to her boss like, I can’t wait to be your wife I will spoil you, we are perfect together, I love and adore you. My wife doesn’t know that I know. She left her phone unlocked I don’t know her code for her phone I found it sitting open and only read a few things before she walked back in the room. Should I talk to her or her boss about this. What should I do?


*Talk to her bosses wife and see a good attorney. *Your wife is a cheating liar. Dead end. Her boss is the same so don’t waste your time. 
You are only a chump if you allow it.


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## sokillme

Your wife is having and emotional affair. Your best chance is to shock her out of it. Print out the text, get yourself some divorce papers online. Then leave them both on your kitchen table tell her he can have her, and then leave for a few days. It may work or she may just leave you but either way you will be better off.


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## Andy1001

Your wife isn’t texting her boss. She’s texting her boyfriend.


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## Mr.Married

Marc878 said:


> *Talk to her bosses wife and see a good attorney. *Your wife is a cheating liar. Dead end. Her boss is the same so don’t waste your time.
> You are only a chump if you allow it.


He already said the bosses wife died from a drug overdose


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## Beach123

File for divorce - she’s already gone and has planned her exit.
Move your assets into your name only -before telling her you’re divorcing her.
There’s no sense in Talking to him - he’s not married to you! Tell her she’s crossed the line…you’re done with her.


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## frenchpaddy

why are you not talking to your wife about this , you need to talk now 


Glasshalffull said:


> My wife has been texting things to her boss like, I can’t wait to be your wife I will spoil you, we are perfect together, I love and adore you. My wife doesn’t know that I know. She left her phone unlocked I don’t know her code for her phone I found it sitting open and only read a few things before she walked back in the room. Should I talk to her or her boss about this. What should I do?


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## frenchpaddy

Glasshalffull said:


> He and his wife had a baby, two months later she passed away From a drug overdose. The baby is four months old now, her boss lives alone with the baby and has a nanny and some days my wife helps babysit


 he had a baby only 4 months ago and she is sending messages like this , looks like they are having an affair for a long time it could be part of why his wife overdosed


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## manowar

she's not into you dude. withdraw the support. Stop being the nice guy she's used to.


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## Noman

Probably doesn't matter, but how old is her boss?


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## Harold Demure

Okay, there is something that is just not hanging right here.

You say you have been married 30 years with grown up children. This would put you and your wife at 50 years old +.

Her boss recently had a baby so, as Norman asked, how old is he? I know people do have babies late on but, in the normal run of events, he may be 40ish at most.

Is this a very one sided love affair where your wife’s expressions of love and affection are not returned by her boss? Is this why you keep thinking about talking to him as this seems to be a low key response?

Does your wife have health problems which could be leading to this behaviour /fantasy?

Think we need a lot more information here.


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## Glasshalffull

Noman said:


> Probably doesn't matter, but how old is her boss?


He’s 60 and I’m 49


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## Talker67

Glasshalffull said:


> He and his wife had a baby, two months later she passed away From a drug overdose. The baby is four months old now, her boss lives alone with the baby and has a nanny and *some days my wife helps babysit*


mmmmmm. i BET she does!

poor baby is going to have issues, with a mother that was on serious drugs during the pregnancy


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## Harold Demure

That does put a different perspective on it.

I suppose I come back to my original question. Is this a one sided fantasy or an affair?

How large is the company here? Are you able to expose this to his boss or is it his company?

What is it that you want from this? Do you want to stay married or want to divorce? This will affect how you may move forward.


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## Diana7

Glasshalffull said:


> He’s 60 and I’m 49


New baby at 60, wow. 
How old is your wife?


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## Tested_by_stress

Confront her and demand her phone and pass code.


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## Noman

Glasshalffull said:


> He’s 60 and I’m 49


Wow, he's going to be out "tossing the ball" using a walker.

Honestly, if I were in his shoes, and looking for a "permanent nanny", I would be looking at someone in their....20's, 30's?

Did you see any replies on your wife's phone from the boss? I can't imagine this is one-sided.

Yeah, and does he own the company? He must have some money to afford a nanny.

And this probably isn't relevant, but what were the circumstances of the mother's death? What did she OD on?

And most importantly, what do YOU want? Are you done? Are you thinking you would be willing to stay with your wife if she stops this BS?

I agree with whoever suggested getting her passcode.

Take her phone, demand the passcode, if she won't give it to you, keep the phone. I think you need to see what's on there to get a better picture of the situation.


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## BigDaddyNY

Glasshalffull said:


> He’s 60 and I’m 49


The one text you quoted sounds like she has already checked out of your marriage and has her a new man and baby to care for. Her boss has turned her into his new wife and mommy for his baby. I'm not sure you have much hope.

Is the OM her boss at a business or does she just work for him as a babysitter? You didn't think it was odd that you wife would babysit for him? Does she babysit in his home or your? If it is in his, the affair is physical, guaranteed.


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## SunCMars

Glasshalffull said:


> We have children but they’re grown we’ve been married for 30 years, I’m still not sure if I should talk to her boss or her about this


Your wife must be in her late forties or in her fifties.

ETA: how old was his wife when she passed?
He does not seem like a good catch, with losing his wife to drugs.

The baby likely may have after-effects from his late momma's drug use.
Not, your problem.

Jeez, your wife sounds desperate to get away from her marriage.

Be not, desperate at all to keep her.

Dump her on her silly old butt.

This OM, the boss, he is not going to want her, ah, maybe for some while while she serves the need as that baby bottle and his penis warmer.
He will seek out a loyal new spouse, not a druggie or a cheater.

Sorry for your loss.
Seriously.

Ugh..



_Are Dee-_


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## Glasshalffull

Harold Demure said:


> That does put a different perspective on it.
> 
> I suppose I come back to my original question. Is this a one sided fantasy or an affair?
> 
> How large is the company here? Are you able to expose this to his boss or is it his company?
> 
> What is it that you want from this? Do you want to stay married or want to divorce? This will affect how you may move forward.


No this is a dentist office, small amount of staff, her boss is the dentist. I do want to stay married she doesn’t want to go to marriage counseling. I got sick really bad a year ago I almost died ended up in the hospital I’m better now but during that time I didn’t talk to my wife while I was sick I caused the damage in our marriage and I’m trying to make it right.


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## BigDaddyNY

Glasshalffull said:


> No this is a dentist office, small amount of staff, her boss is the dentist. I do want to stay married she doesn’t want to go to marriage counseling. I got sick really bad a year ago I almost died ended up in the hospital I’m better now but during that time I didn’t talk to my wife while I was sick I caused the damage in our marriage and I’m trying to make it right.


This is no way on you. Was it your fault that you got sick? Remember marriage is "in sickness and in health." Sounds like your wife decided to abandon you in a time of need. That is not how a good wife reacts.

I'm not sure if it is a good idea or not, but why not talk to both the dentist and your wife at the same time?


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## Evinrude58

sokillme said:


> Your wife is having and emotional affair. Your best chance is to shock her out of it. Print out the text, get yourself some divorce papers online. Then leave them both on your kitchen table tell her he can have her, and then leave for a few days. It may work or she may just leave you but either way you will be better off.


Emotional? I disagree. She’s bNysitying in his gone and telling him she can’t wait to be his wife. Full blown affair, hoping for marriage.

don’t waste your tome talking to your “wife” who you know is telling another man she can’t wait to be his wife. There’s nothing to talk about. See an attorney and divorce, unless you want to be a brother husband and watch the dentist do his thing with your wife. Pretty obvious here what the path should be for a reasonable man.


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## Hoosier

Glasshalffull said:


> No this is a dentist office, small amount of staff, her boss is the dentist. I do want to stay married she doesn’t want to go to marriage counseling. I got sick really bad a year ago I almost died ended up in the hospital I’m better now but during that time I didn’t talk to my wife while I was sick I caused the damage in our marriage and I’m trying to make it right.


First off......listen very closely........you are NOT the cause of the affair. That is all on her. Your marriage might have problems, which are probably the fault of both of you, own that! but not the affair.

Once you confront them, you lose a big advantage. First things first. SEE AN ATTORNEY and TAKE THEIR ADVICE. ;protect your assets, get set up best you can before you confront. When you confront, simply have the paperwork for a divorce. Remember you can file, and still reconcile, having the paperwork just shows how serious you are. Lastly, listen to the people here, lots of good advice, some bad, but all good to analyze. Just do us all a favor....... ACT.....to just talk drives me and a lot of us here nuts!

Good luck to you, and welcome to the club no one wants to be a member of.

Hoosier


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## Marc878

OP like a lot of betrayed spouses wants to be a martyr. Probably because he thinks if he caused it he can fix it. *Faulty thinking* but until he wakes up he’s gonna be just another chump.


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## seadoug105

Noman said:


> Probably doesn't matter, but how old is her boss?


i was thinking the same thing…. The is old enough to be this childs grandmother; and if her fantasy plays out, people on the outside will assume it… (Wonder if she thinks about that)


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## SunCMars

Who has not been sick?

When we get sick, are we not often in pain?
And distant, maybe crabby?

If it is a serious sickness, are not most temporally despondent, maybe extra self-centered in their thinking?

........................................................................................

You said you are 48, is this true?
Was the sickness you experienced last year, was it the Wuhan Virus?

Or, was it something else that badly affected your reproductive system?
Or, was it drug related?
Or, are you obese, and diabetes stricken?

No one knows you here, you can be honest. 

This will help us see what happened in your marriage.
This, for you to consider blaming yourself.

We all can agree, it takes two to make or break a marriage.
It only takes one to totally destroy it, via infidelity.

I am eminently curious, as are all cats.



_Nemesis-_


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## Diana7

seadoug105 said:


> i was thinking the same thing…. The is old enough to be this childs grandmother; and if her fantasy plays out, people on the outside will assume it… (Wonder if she thinks about that)


The same with the childs dad at 60.


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## Harold Demure

My first piece of advice is that you have got to harden up and harden up fast! No more Mr Nice Guy!

I agree with Hoosier about protecting your assets etc BEFORE you confront. Hope for the best but prepare for the worse. Let’s be honest here, if she gets her way, she will be moving in with a man with (presumably) a very good income and standard of living. You want to avoid having to lose too much of your assets as she is not going to need it.

You do need to find out the current state of their relationship. This doesn’t have to be confrontational and it is pretty obvious how your wife feels. The unknown here is the OM as we do not know if he feels the same way and is looking for marriage/ a relationship, is looking for a baby sitter/nanny but no emotional relationship, or has no interest in anything your wife says.

Tactically, I think the suggestion that you discuss (not confront) this with them together is a very good option. If they want to be in a relationship/marry, I would have divorce papers ready that gives you very good financial settlement which she may sign in her haste to move on. You don’t have much to lose by doing that BUT you do need to have everything prepared AND control your emotions. There will be plenty of time for grieving later. You need to let your HEAD RULE YOUR HEART. 

If the OM does not want the above option, any reticence or statement on his part will be played out in front of your wife and will, no doubt, be a terrific kick in the teeth for her.


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## SunCMars

As odd as it sounds......

Some woman suffer terribly from that _empty-nest_ syndrome.

With her to gain an infant, one who will love her unconditionally, for the rest of her life, she may be enthralled, delighted with being a born-again baby-momma. 

The fact that she must win over the dentist, is secondary.

She has no issue with him filling her cavity with flesh, and not with silver or gold.

Filling her with a non-metallic temporary amalgam, night-after-night, is fine.

Oh, I am sure she likes him, too, also, three.



_The Typist-_


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## LATERILUS79

All of your children are adults.

let them know their mother is sleeping with her boss and looking forward to being his wife.

that will shock her HARDCORE. No parent wants that kind of shame to come from their own kids. No matter what, they are going to learn sooner or later. Better you tell them than your wife - who will clearly spin a story in order to keep her children from turning against her.

The Interesting part of this? You don’t have to do any spinning. All you need to do is tell your grown children The truth. That is all that is needed. They will come down with the wrath of God on their mother - assuming you have good relations with them all.

oh, and this will be the second thing you should do after you file for divorce first so that you have the upper hand there. Get your ducks in a row, file for divorce then tell your adult children. Your wife will be spinning in circles.


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## Harold Demure

Part two to break the post up.

If they do want to be together and you still want to reconcile, I think you are going to have to fight dirty here. I would introduce doubts that he only wants her as an unpaid nanny and housekeeper, not as an equal partner. I would introduce doubts about long term care of a baby at her age once the initial gloss has worn off. I would make it very clear that you will not be a Plan B and, once she is gone, there is no going back, no safety net, and she will be on her own if it goes wrong. I would also get your kids involved in this, hopefully asking their mother what the hell she is playing at.

If the OM doesn’t want a full relationship, I think you have to take time to decide what you want from this mess and, if you do decide to take her back, under what terms and conditions.

I would advise against pursuing time lines, details etc at this point. There is time for that later, just as there is for grief and all the other emotions.

Personally, I am not sure the OM‘s feelings are cut and dried but, if they are, I think you have no chance of saving your marriage. If this is the case, I really feel you have to use this honeymoon period to get the best deal. It will be very hard but you have to protect yourself. Remember HEAD OVER HEART.

That is my 2p worth and hope it helps. Good luck.


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## Tested_by_stress

Glasshalffull said:


> No this is a dentist office, small amount of staff, her boss is the dentist. I do want to stay married she doesn’t want to go to marriage counseling. I got sick really bad a year ago I almost died ended up in the hospital I’m better now but during that time I didn’t talk to my wife while I was sick I caused the damage in our marriage and I’m trying to make it right.


I don't know where you live but you need to talk to a lawyer. You also need that phone so you can get proof. I would confront the old bastard and ask him if his business and reputation is worth destroying to be with your wife. My gut tells me they are not. Andd stop blaming yourself for this.


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## SunCMars

As afore, not yet four times mentioned, we do not know how the Dentist feels about this.

He may not be interested AT ALL, and it is her, only, that is chasing him.

We need to know how far this 'arrangement' has gone. 
Have they been intimate?

His dental career is at risk if she reports him for foul play.

We are presently spinning our tails, some our tales.

I am guilty.



_Are Dee-_


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## Glasshalffull

SunCMars said:


> As afore, not yet four times mentioned, we do not know how the Dentist feels about this.
> 
> He may not be interested AT ALL, and it is her, only, that is chasing him.
> 
> We need to know how far this 'arrangement' has gone.
> Have they been intimate?
> 
> His dental career is at risk if she reports him for foul play.
> 
> We are presently spinning our tails, some our tales.
> 
> I am guilty.
> 
> 
> 
> _Are Dee-_


I do not know if they’ve been intimate but I do know that they’ve texted back-and-forth that they want to be together , he wants her to be his soulmate and he feels and trust her when she is around


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## Glasshalffull

Harold Demure said:


> Okay, there is something that is just not hanging right here.
> 
> You say you have been married 30 years with grown up children. This would put you and your wife at 50 years old +.
> 
> Her boss recently had a baby so, as Norman asked, how old is he? I know people do have babies late on but, in the normal run of events, he may be 40ish at most.
> 
> Is this a very one sided love affair where your wife’s expressions of love and affection are not returned by her boss? Is this why you keep thinking about talking to him as this seems to be a low key response?
> 
> Does your wife have health problems which could be leading to this behaviour /fantasy?
> 
> Think we need a lot more information here.


My wife doesn’t have any health issues the other thing her boss said is that he wants her to be his babies mommy


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## BigDaddyNY

Glasshalffull said:


> I do not know if they’ve been intimate but I do know that they’ve texted back-and-forth that they want to be together , he wants her to be his soulmate and he feels and trust her when she is around


They've been intimate. They are professing love to one another, talking about soulmates, work together in a place I suspect has a lot of privacy when no patients are there and she's been "babysitting" for him. That math is pretty easy to figure out.

The OM's wife had a baby 4 months ago and she died 2 months ago. Have the texts been going on longer than that? How long has your wife known and been working with him?

This almost sounds like a Law & Order episode where the wife of the dentist, who has access to drugs, dies from an apparent overdose and is having an affair with his dental assistant. See where I'm going with this? Sounds far fetched, but this whole thing sounds far fetched. The dentist is only 2 months out from his wife and mother of his child dying and he is already talking about your wife being his soulmate. He could just be a really callous guy, his judgement could be clouded due to grief, or he could simply be shopping around for a mommy for his new baby. Why would your wife want to be part of any of those scenarios? Seems like she has some issues too.


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## Harold Demure

So sorry to hear this and my thoughts go out to you.

The only good thing here is that you know where you stand and I would strongly urge you to lawyer up and use their desire to be together to get the very best deal you can. This is going against every emotion you probably have, but choose your battles and look after yourself. She won’t need that money but you will. At the very least, I would want the house and my pension in whole.

Recriminations can wait until then. 

Do you think his wife committed suicide because she discovered the affair? Do you think Bigdaddy has a point? Don’t know but it would be fun posing those questions to the Police and any professional body that regulates the dentist.


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## Marc878

Glasshalffull said:


> I do not know if they’ve been intimate but I do know that they’ve texted back-and-forth that they want to be together , he wants her to be his soulmate and he feels and trust her when she is around


Bud, an emotional affair with contact is a physical\sexual affair. You are in denial. That is just a temporary comfort zone. She’s already gone. Lawyer up and get your affairs in order.
Sorry


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## Gabriel

Glasshalffull said:


> He’s 60 and I’m 49


Little do you know, your marriage is over. She can't wait to be his wife. This likely means she is making mental, and maybe physical plans to leave you.

Why on earth would you talk to her boss?? That is beta behavior. Just say this:

"I know you are having an affair with your boss and you want to be his wife instead of mine. Let's cut the BS. I am pissed off and will not be in a marriage like this."


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## SunCMars

Gabriel said:


> Little do you know, your marriage is over. She can't wait to be his wife. This likely means she is making mental, and maybe physical plans to leave you.
> 
> Why on earth would you talk to her boss?? That is beta behavior. Just say this:
> 
> "I know you are having an affair with your boss and you want to be his wife instead of mine. Let's cut the BS. I am pissed off and will not be in a marriage like this."


Too, two, eight poop nice!


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## Asterix

Glasshalffull said:


> My wife has been texting things to her boss like, I can’t wait to be your wife I will spoil you, we are perfect together, I love and adore you.


Your wife spoke her vows to you. Her boss did not. 

It's your wife that you need to deal with first. But based on these texts, I fear that it might be late. 

If you want to do anything, I'd suggest the threads here that talk about how to go about gathering evidence. Get a good amount of that together and save it at multiple safe and secure places. Also, start talking to lawyers to start the divorce/separation proceedings. 

Even if they haven't done any "physical", it looks like she's emotionally attached to him and sees a life together with him.


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## uwe.blab

Do you think your wife and/or her boss could have poisoned (murdered) his wife?


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## Tested_by_stress

Expose her to your kids OP.


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## manfromlamancha

Her boss is kind of old to have a new baby isn't he? How old was his wife when she passed away?


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## Glasshalffull

Glasshalffull said:


> My wife doesn’t have any health issues the other thing her boss said is that he wants her to be his babies mommy


Her boss is sixty years old


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## Glasshalffull

manfromlamancha said:


> Her boss is kind of old to have a new baby isn't he? How old was his wife when she passed away?


I’m not sure I think I’m her forty’s


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## Glasshalffull

uwe.blab said:


> Do you think your wife and/or her boss could have poisoned (murdered) his wife?


No, definitely not


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## SunCMars

uwe.blab quote-
Do you think the dentist murdered his wife?



Glasshalffull said:


> No, definitely not


If not, Fate took the dentist's wife.
And fate, took our half glasses, our OP's wife.

Cruel fate, but wait...

HGF can now begin the next new chapter in his life.
Such a deal, such a good thing.

You will get rid of your horrid wife and the bad JuJu that lingers all about her.
Living with someone who is tainted, taints you by association.

It badly affected you mind, and your self esteem.
When you divorce her, that ill wind will be soon, gone.

She can change diapers on the baby now, and in 15 years, change the Dentist's diapers.

Note: The dentist has an afflicted Moon.

His first wife died, his soon to be next wife (yours) is a near cripple, she is without a good leg to stand on.



_King Brian-_


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## Evinrude58

You are really deep in denial if you think your wife hasn’t had sex with him. They’re doing it every chance he can get it up.


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## DownByTheRiver

Glasshalffull said:


> My wife has been texting things to her boss like, I can’t wait to be your wife I will spoil you, we are perfect together, I love and adore you. My wife doesn’t know that I know. She left her phone unlocked I don’t know her code for her phone I found it sitting open and only read a few things before she walked back in the room. Should I talk to her or her boss about this. What should I do?


I think you should probably just go to an attorney.


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## re16

So firstly, I wouldn't confront anyone just yet. Resist the urge to do this.

It seems like you are in the mindset of "I want it to work"... this is dangerous because you don't even know what you might be forgiving... what if this is a full blown physical affair (it likely is)? What if its been going on for a long time? What if she's had other affairs?

You should do some further recon to figure out what exactly is happening before making decisions.

You should engage an attorney also, regardless of which way this is headed....


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## Marc878

The longer you wait the longer you get to live in limbo.


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## Trident

This story has more plot holes than a Star Trek episode.


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## manowar

Glasshalffull said:


> My wife doesn’t have any health issues the other thing her boss said is that *he wants her to be his babies mommy*



wow... texting crap like that... that's evident of weak man's game for sure. he sounds like a low-level beta perhaps even a simp. Definitely Provider material no question about it. This guy is weak. You may want to confront him mano e mano-- He'll back off and scare easily imo.


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## seadoug105

Diana7 said:


> The same with the childs dad at 60.


agreed!! Wrote that before I saw he was a geezer 

but was too lazy to post on on that….


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## Trustless Marriage

I don't think she would have texted she can't wait to be his wife bla bla bla unless they are doing the deed already. You have two choices. #1 Confront your wife NOT him #2 Start preparing for divorce in secret. If you are not 100% sure she is cheating the go with option #1.


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