# 4 years later and no explanations



## Honda750 (Feb 12, 2015)

Wife left job due to excessive spending of boss money from work , ran up over $100 K in credit card debt on us using my signature to get cards , ran up a student loan into many thousands of dollars without me knowing she used my name to get the loans ......... She was found to be manic bipolar , I did not divorce her because I felt she needed my help and insurance to get her treated ........ Had to settle with her boss out of court for over quarter of million dollars .......... I kept her out if jail . 
I'm telling her I want answers on paper ....... Why ? Where did all this money spending go ? I don't have an answer but I'm running out of time with this ....... We are separated but still living in same house , different bedrooms . 
Please give me your opinion on this . I am not interested in a long winded reply , just let me know what you think here ?


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

You have her answer.

Why won't you believe her actions?

Wanting to help or save her is noble, but she might not want to be saved.


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## Magnesium (Jun 19, 2017)

Walk away....divorce her and walk away.


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## ReturntoZero (Aug 31, 2015)

Honda750 said:


> Wife left job due to excessive spending of boss money from work , ran up over $100 K in credit card debt on us using my signature to get cards , ran up a student loan into many thousands of dollars without me knowing she used my name to get the loans ......... She was found to be manic bipolar , I did not divorce her because I felt she needed my help and insurance to get her treated ........ Had to settle with her boss out of court for over quarter of million dollars .......... I kept her out if jail .
> I'm telling her I want answers on paper ....... Why ? Where did all this money spending go ? I don't have an answer but I'm running out of time with this ....... We are separated but still living in same house , different bedrooms .
> Please give me your opinion on this . I am not interested in a long winded reply , just let me know what you think here ?


What do you want to know?


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Shortest answer I can come up with: Lawyer.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

no offense Honda but you are being used and you just don't realize it


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Have you got no idea what she spent it on? Its an awful lots of money for you not to have noticed anything.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Something material.
Something immaterial.

Items worn.
Items driven.

Spent on travel.
On drugs.
On gambling.

Spent on trips.
Spent on lovers or just friends.
Spent on family, not yours.

Spent on impressing someone, just not you.
Spent on expensive restaurants.


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## Slartibartfast (Nov 7, 2017)

..


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## FieryHairedLady (Mar 24, 2011)

Drugz


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## pragmaticGoddess (Nov 29, 2017)

You say you stayed because she needed your help? Is that your true motive? It sounds like she needs professional help. You think you’re helping by taking care of her mess. It doesn’t sound like she’s changed. 

You need to get her professional help.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Doormats get walked on.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

She is laughing at your request. She knows you have no power to get her do anything you ask of her.

Why do you persist in thinking you can get any satisfaction?

Hopeless. Give up.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Short answer?

Walk.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Who care why she did it? Who cares where the money went? Walk away and leave her to be responsible for her actions like an adult.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

I doubt he can stop caring where it went. He will probably wonder about that forever.

But he must accept the fact he will never know. He will never get an answer.

Some things simply must be accepted. Like it or not.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Too bad she didn't care about you as much as you cared about her......


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## SpicyGinger (Nov 18, 2017)

Have you noticed any material possessions coming into your home while all this spending was taking place? Did you notice lots of new clothes, laptops, TVs, furniture... things like that? If not, then she stole it somehow. If she was using credit cards, cash advances, maybe? Since you were married, do you know that you can get statements from the credit card company even if the accounts are closed? Sometimes the old statements are free, sometimes they're a couple of bucks, but if you want to know how it was spent, the credit card statements should tell you. You'll either see a whole lot of Target transactions or a ton of cash advances or something. But why would you ask her where it went? Do you actually think that asking someone who is obviously a liar -- she went behind your back and spent HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS -- do you actually think she's going to give you an honest answer? Of course not. Even if she did, is there really ANY answer out there that is going to make you feel even 1% better? She spent it on shoes, handbags, gambling, drugs, plastic surgery, donating to charity... all of those are still going to make you angry because she lied about it and did it behind your back. Best thing to do is leave her, file bankruptcy and then maybe sue her. I do believe you might be able to sue her, although it sounds like she doesn't have any money of her own and she seems to have spent all of yours, so I don't know how much good it would do.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Honda750 said:


> Wife left job due to excessive spending of boss money from work , ran up over $100 K in credit card debt on us using my signature to get cards , ran up a student loan into many thousands of dollars without me knowing she used my name to get the loans ......... She was found to be manic bipolar , I did not divorce her because I felt she needed my help and insurance to get her treated ........ Had to settle with her boss out of court for over quarter of million dollars .......... I kept her out if jail .
> I'm telling her I want answers on paper ....... Why ? Where did all this money spending go ? I don't have an answer but I'm running out of time with this ....... We are separated but still living in same house , different bedrooms .
> Please give me your opinion on this . I am not interested in a long winded reply , just let me know what you think here ?


Your wife has mental illness, that's your answer. Her brain is broken. You don't look for a deeper reason why a blind person can't paint a picture. The reason is they are blind. The fun in it was the spending not the owning obviously.


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## DustyDog (Jul 12, 2016)

Honda750 said:


> Wife left job due to excessive spending of boss money from work , ran up over $100 K in credit card debt on us using my signature to get cards , ran up a student loan into many thousands of dollars without me knowing she used my name to get the loans ......... She was found to be manic bipolar , I did not divorce her because I felt she needed my help and insurance to get her treated ........ Had to settle with her boss out of court for over quarter of million dollars .......... I kept her out if jail .
> I'm telling her I want answers on paper ....... Why ? Where did all this money spending go ? I don't have an answer but I'm running out of time with this ....... We are separated but still living in same house , different bedrooms .
> Please give me your opinion on this . I am not interested in a long winded reply , just let me know what you think here ?


You will never get answers. Nobody gets answers in these situations.

Hire both an accountant and an attorney and figure out how to get far from this woman as fast as you can with minimal damage to your finances and credit rating.


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

Got casinos near you? If you have no assets to show for the spent money, I'm sure she gambled it all away. You should be able to call the local casinos with her DOB and address to obtain a Win/Loss statement for your "wife." It will show you everything if she used a player's card. 

Why didn't you let her go to jail and fix this on her own? Must have been a great marriage and you honestly loved her.


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## Bonkers (Nov 26, 2017)

GuyInColorado said:


> Why didn't you let her go to jail and fix this on her own?


Going to jail doesn't fix anything.


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## ReturntoZero (Aug 31, 2015)

Bonkers said:


> Going to jail doesn't fix anything.


Keeps her from doing it to someone else. That's fixing something.


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