# Would you have a problem with this?



## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

I know someone who is allowing and supporting their 16 year old daughter to marry a 27 year old man. I think this is just plain wrong. 1) I would_ never_ sign for my daughter to get married that young; and 2) I could never support her marrying a man 27 years old if she was only 16. Does anyone else see anything wrong with a 27 year old man marrying a 16 year old girl?


----------



## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

Well, there was a time when it was normal, but at that time women lived much shorter lives, had greater likelihood of complications in pregnancy if they didn't have kids young, and had fewer options in life. I also have a feeling that 16-year-olds of the past were more mature than today, because of how little responsibility we give 16-year-olds today. So no, I wouldn't support it.


----------



## LIMBOLADY (Aug 26, 2013)

karole said:


> I know someone who is allowing and supporting their 16 year old daughter to marry a 27 year old man. I think this is just plain wrong. 1) I would_ never_ sign for my daughter to get married that young; and 2) I could never support her marrying a man 27 years old if she was only 16. Does anyone else see anything wrong with a 27 year old man marrying a 16 year old girl?


Yeah it's wrong. Is this even legal????


----------



## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

One of my best friends got married at 17. Both my sister and niece got married at 17-18. My mother also got married at 17. 

Now me? I'm not even sure I want my girls going out on solo dates at 16 much less getting married. So no I wouldn't support it either.


----------



## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

LIMBOLADY said:


> Yeah it's wrong. Is this even legal????


It depends on what State she lives in, and in some States an underage person can get married with parental consent. Why then would any parent consent for their 16 year old teen to get married to anyone? Perhaps the parent sees no other future for this teen other than being supported by the 27 year old. Perhaps the parent no longer wants to be responsible for the teen. Obviously the parent is at fault by abdicating their parental role to the 27 year old.

This is very sad to me. To lead a 16 year old child to believe that marriage NOW is the answer to her future.


----------



## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

I'm trying to think of a setting where a 27 year old would be socializing enough to develop romantic feelings for a 16 year old and vice versa... other than school. And whats even more disturbing is she was probably 15 when they met.

I wouldn't support it. No way.


----------



## LIMBOLADY (Aug 26, 2013)

survivorwife said:


> It depends on what State she lives in, and in some States an underage person can get married with parental consent. Why then would any parent consent for their 16 year old teen to get married to anyone? Perhaps the parent sees no other future for this teen other than being supported by the 27 year old. Perhaps the parent no longer wants to be responsible for the teen. Obviously the parent is at fault by abdicating their parental role to the 27 year old.
> 
> This is very sad to me. To lead a 16 year old child to believe that marriage NOW is the answer to her future.


Yeah, that is what I was thinking after I wrote that. There are probably states you can do this in.

I agree, it is really sad. 

OP what are the circumstances? Do you know why this person wants to marry off her child?


----------



## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

If my son wanted this I would tell him he can date the person but wait til 18 to get married.

Telling a 16 yr old they can't be with the person they looooove will only serve one of two purposes and those would be to make them leave home or lie through their teeth about it.

If the 27 yr old is open,honest,and seems to be on the right track in life and treats my kid properly then I would have no choice but to allow him to date the person. It's the lesser of two evils here. 

I wouldn't sign for him to be married though.If he chose to leave home and not speak to me for that then I'd just have to find a way to live with it but no way would I let him get married at 16.


----------



## tryingtobebetter (Aug 6, 2012)

Doubtless one could find somewhere an 87 year old man with a 76 year old wife who have just happily celebrated their diamond anniversary, but no, in general I would be totally against this (especially if it had been one of my daughters!).


----------



## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

The girl's mother says that the daughter is very mature for a 16 year old - this is her justification. I haven't told the worst part - the 27 year old has lived with the parents & daughter for the last year in their home. The parents and daughter claimed when he moved in that they were just really good friends - nothing more. A year later and they are now engaged and planning a wedding. The entire situation is very upsetting to me. I'm really having a hard time with it. I've received an invitation to the wedding and I don't think I can force myself to go.


----------



## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

The underage people in my family that got married all got the parents to sign off on it. They were HAPPY to get the kid gone. Sad but true.


----------



## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

Who is this guy? They've lived together? So she had contact with this guy since 15 like I thought.

This is on the parents 100%.


----------



## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

And in THIS case, they aren't marrying her off to anywhere if they all live in the same house. He isn't self-supporting, and yet they are planning a wedding. Sick stuff.


----------



## LIMBOLADY (Aug 26, 2013)

karole said:


> The girl's mother says that the daughter is very mature for a 16 year old - this is her justification. I haven't told the worst part - the 27 year old has lived with the parents & daughter for the last year in their home. The parents and daughter claimed when he moved in that they were just really good friends - nothing more. A year later and they are now engaged and planning a wedding. The entire situation is very upsetting to me. I'm really having a hard time with it. I've received an invitation to the wedding and I don't think I can force myself to go.


I don't know that I would be able to attend this either. I don't know how a 27 year old and a 16 year old have anything in common no matter how mature she is.

Are they all going to live in the same house together after the wedding? This is all very strange..........


----------



## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

They have always seemed like just an average family. They have 2 daughters. The oldest is in college on a full scholarship. They homeschooled both their girls. They have always seemed like very loving and caring parents. That is why this is such a shock and so difficult to understand. The 27 year old has a job, but I'm not sure what he does exactly.


----------



## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

I don't know what a 27 year old would have in common with a 16 year old. At their ages, the percentage difference is too great. Is she very mature for her age, or is he immature for his age?


----------



## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

Cosmos said:


> I don't know what a 27 year old would have in common with a 16 year old. At their ages, the percentage difference is too great. * Is she very mature for her age, or is he immature for his age?*


Her mother claims she is mature for her age, I don't know if that is true or not. I would not be surprised if the 27 yr old is very immature, but I can't say for sure as I do not know him. Regardless, I still feel the relationship is just plain wrong. But, I guess it doesn't matter what I think............LOL! I was just curious if anyone else felt as I do.


----------



## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

I think she's way too young.

My grandmother was married at 17, but back then young women tended to go from school to marriage with very little, if anything, in between. These days there are so many opportunities available to young women (college, careers) and, by the time she reaches her 20s, she might end up feeling that she's missed out on a lot.

One of my sisters insisted on marrying at 18, and she later said that my parents shouldn't have allowed her to marry so young...


----------



## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

Onceconfusedmale said:


> No way would I sign off on it! And I would be having a few choice words with a 27 year old.....


It would have never gotten this far with me..

I'd have told him to hit the road at the get go...

There is something wrong with a 27 year old even considering a 16 year old dating material.


----------



## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

I wouldn't have moved this guy into my house. I mean he has no family to go to? No other friends his age? The whole thing is creepy.


----------



## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

I have no issues with a 10+ year age difference. As long as both parties were at least 18 when the relationship began. In this case, where the guy has been living in the home of the 16 year old he's marrying for a year, it just smacks of child predator. I'm trying to wrap my head around the concept of my Daddy having allowed anything near that creepy to go on when I was 15 or 16, but it's just not happening.


----------



## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

A Bit Much said:


> I wouldn't have moved this guy into my house. I mean he has no family to go to? No other friends his age? The whole thing is creepy.[/QUOTE
> 
> I know that he does have family, but I don't know anything about his family or the reason he moved in with the 16 year old's family. The whole situation is creepy to me too.


----------



## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

Cosmos said:


> I don't know what a 27 year old would have in common with a 16 year old.


S*x. Lots and lots of s*x. 

This is creepy as hell, and should be illegal across the US.


----------



## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

I wouldn't support this wedding. I wouldn't go, nor would I get a gift. If the parents inquire, then I would be honest about it. It may cost the friendship, but honestly, I don't know if I could stomach watching that train wreck in progress.


----------



## reef3314 (Nov 13, 2013)

I would not sign off on it being that today's society frowns on it and they are not mature enough to make such a decision. However, some of the longest marriages come from those who wed young. I read the book "Happy, Happy, Happy" by Phil Robertson, who you may know from Duck Dynasty. He and Kay both wed at a very young age and they still go strong. Not to mention, look at how many couples were high school sweet hearts. They've clearly loved one another from a very young age.


----------



## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

Two 27 year olds can be a great match. Two 18 year olds are young, but they can make it work too.

A 27 year old man marrying a 16 year old girl is NOT the same thing.


----------

