# Why is she making me feel like a total stranger?



## millmant (Dec 23, 2009)

Something that is bugging me like crazy is the fact that my wife no longer will get dressed in front of me. She closes the bedroom door now ( I sleep on the couch ) when it's time to sleep. I just don't get how all of a sudden I've become this total stranger to her.

I am just looking for some thoughts from both people.

Why is it bugging me soo much?
For 13 years I shared a room, bed, and bathroom with her. It's like I haven't seen her before. MOST of all, to me, it's like she is telling me that she does not trust me anymore.


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## noideato20 (Oct 27, 2009)

Millman, I have no idea why they do it. I call it pod people syndrome. My h did the same thing he told me on oct 15th that he didnt want to be married and everything and I do mean everything changed. No more hugs no more i love you no more phone calls no more texts. This was after eighteen years. Its just weird. I think I read somewhere maybe on a post or in a book that its because they made the decision long ago and they have been preparing for it so once they say it they are already prepared for detachment. You on the other hand were caught totally off gaurd so it seems like night and day to you. Im sorry your going through this your natural instinct will be too cling and keep the intimacy you had before. Dont do it. They are literally different people than the one you married.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## knortoh (Sep 5, 2009)

remember the same thing when it first happened to me - they are detached - emotionally detached - yep probably because they decided a long time before - I think the statistics say most people decide at least 18 months before - and then hang around making things worse - 
sorry this is such a clinical answer -
it is just so f****ing painful


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## danl (Nov 14, 2009)

Im going threw the same thing with my wife, told me she didnt love me anymore, late Oct 09, then week after week, things got worse, no more sleeping in the same bed, no more coming out of the shower naked in front of me, no more hugs, kiss's, phone calls, text's ect. Slowly Ive been completely cut off from her world. 

Ive discovered that she is in midlife crisis, she's got all the signs.
do some reading on it.

She is completely detached from me, no more nothing, doesnt care about me one bit, even told me if I want sex, to go find it from someone else. Hows that for pain.

She started out telling me she started to feel this way a year ago, then finally decided she didnt love me in July. Now shes telling me she's had these thoughts off and on for a couple of years, and stopped loving me in April.

Things are getting worse all the time. Exagerating. Another sign of MLC.

Good luck to you, I feel your pain.


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## noideato20 (Oct 27, 2009)

Yeah danl I think that is exactly whats wrong with my h. Sad part about it is what Ive read said it could take two years to even come out of that and they will never be the same. But who am I kidding im never gonna be the same and neither will my kids.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## millmant (Dec 23, 2009)

danl said:


> Things are getting worse all the time. Exagerating. Another sign of MLC.
> 
> Good luck to you, I feel your pain.


So your saying that a lot of what is going on is phycological?


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## danl (Nov 14, 2009)

millmant said:


> So your saying that a lot of what is going on is phycological?


Thats how I understand it, but Im no expert at all, just been doing lots of reading in the last few weeks, and she seems to fit the discription to a tee.

LiveCloud

Here is a forum that has given me lots of info, help and support.
Im on there as hurthusband, my story is in the 'midlife crisis' forum section.

Good luck to you.


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## EKD (Jun 28, 2017)

noideato20 said:


> Yeah danl I think that is exactly whats wrong with my h. Sad part about it is what Ive read said it could take two years to even come out of that and they will never be the same. But who am I kidding im never gonna be the same and neither will my kids.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Going through the same thing, and sure my wife is going through a MLC, she told me to move out to give her space and I have...but if you love your wife and want her back you must be patient, work on yourself, change yourself, let her look at you as the person she fell in love with, be confident and don't beg, and talk about your relationship, talk about her work/ your work and maybe throw in some humor and the odd "remember when" from the past ( good things)....give it time if you love and want your spouse back, its hard road but does work, Im seeing the signs now after almost a year and have high hopes..don't give up


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

This is a zombie thread from 2009. I'm closing it.


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