# Looking For A Thread And Recommendations



## Miss Metta (Jan 27, 2013)

Hi all
I'm searching for a thread and can't seem to find it. It's about how and what to look for on phones, and included a link to a a program that can view files. It was fairly techy.
Some of you may recognise my name from a few months back where the advice was to install a VAR when H was going away, but I chickened out for fear of getting caught.

I've been watching and waiting and as they say on this forum, they start to get careless or you just get timely clues. It seems to me that most of the activity is happening on the phone. Appears to have been using a free one-use only SMS number service so that there is no record of his real number in the phone log. I believe these numbers used to log into sites like Tinder etc or any site, really, where you don't want to use your real number. However, I've not seen any swiping going on. Not at home at least. But they could I suppose also be used as a temporary 'talk' phone number, I"m not sure. I know which site the number came from. Also appears to have installed and is using Flexipay (a digital wallet) but I can't confirm that this wasn't a pre-installed app. The logo looks a bit different to the Flexipay on the Google apps store. On the Google apps store the logo is pink, on H's phone, it's dark green, but the logos do have a similar triangle as part of the logo. So I wondered if the pink one is an updated version of the green one. A search on ' green flexipay logo' pulls up nothing. I saw the icon on the phone and it was asking for an update but a friend says apps don't ask for updates unless they've been recently used. That's when I thought something might be off, here (I had already found the virtual number site a few months prior). 
Money has been disappearing from account albeit in very small dribbles which he is vague about (says he's giving some of it to a workmate for a Lotto pool that he says his friend is running every week). But that doesn't account for all of it. No way is it 'saving for a gift for me'. Just not that sort. Anyway I won't go into much further here other than I don't think I can go ahead with the VAR because car is a work vehicle and while it's at work others drive it around, use it, sleep in it during lunch etc and it also goes in for service unexpectedly so I'm terrified it would get found too easily. So I've dropped the VAR idea. I have used it, however, when I have gone out and left it running at home in case it picked up any phone calls, but have not recorded anything to worry about. I haven't used it all that much. 

I also think he's deleting messages and using private browsing, so history is no use, I need to go deeper. Phone is owned by work so no access to phone bill. 

So I'm left with: data retrieval eg Dr Fone, or a software. The quicker the better as phone access will be limited time. I'm so scared of the software giving itself away. Some threads here recommend TeenSafe but it is not compatible with Android. Have read that Dr Fone etc can retrieve nothing. Again, phone access time will be short, so I need to act quickly and need to get it right first time. I know that Flexispy I think has a tech service that will help you but that would mean an international call and it would show up on MY phone bill which is under his name, plus time zone compatibility issues. So not that one. 


So my question is: does anybody know of the tech thread I am referring to? It was how and what to look for deeply in a phone.(It wasn't Weightlifter's epic masterpiece on VARs etc) 
Can anyone recommend a software for Android 5 that is a) easiest to install and b) isn't likely to create pop ups or messages that will cause it to reveal itself? Any recommendations of ones you've used with success? Bonus points if it has a free trial. I did free trial one on my phone and practiced over and over again, I thought it was pretty good but am terrified of going ahead with install on target in case anything goes wrong (because it did with my phone the first time) so need quick and has to work first time. I don't mind practicing over and over or learning how something works. 

or, any other ideas? He doesn't use a home computer so that's not going to work, it's only the phone or the car.

I know something's up, I just don't know what, exactly and I think the phone holds the key. I won't go into more detail unless you want me to. 

thanks all for your valuable info and support,

Metta


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I think this is the thread you are looking for: *Standard Evidence Post*


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Check out the software WebWatcher. They might have some new products that can help you.

Where does he do all this talking on the phone?


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

I have a recommendation... how about you finally put an end to this relationship, MM? You started posting here in July 2013 about this man, because he lied to you and that gave you doubts about the relationship. And you have been posting ever since due to his drug use, lies and just general shady behavior. WHY in the hell did you marry this man when you didnt feel you could trust him?? You STILL dont trust him (for good reason!!) and have tormented yourself for six years now. How about you let this finally come to an end? No man is worth all this crap! Arent you sick and tired of all the anxiety and mistrust??


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

3xnocharm said:


> i have a recommendation... How about you finally put an end to this relationship, mm? You started posting here in july 2013 about this man, because he lied to you and that gave you doubts about the relationship. And you have been posting ever since due to his drug use, lies and just general shady behavior. Why in the hell did you marry this man when you didnt feel you could trust him?? You still dont trust him (for good reason!!) and have tormented yourself for six years now. How about you let this finally come to an end? No man is worth all this crap! Arent you sick and tired of all the anxiety and mistrust??


this


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

Infidelity or not, you have been around with the same concerns for awhile. Maybe it is time to cut bait. This appears long and torturous.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Good thing I read the responses, because @3Xnocharm said basically what I was thinking. 

He is not trustworthy and he is mistreating you. What more do you need?


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

Where there is smoke there is fire. VAR in car will do wonders.


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## Miss Metta (Jan 27, 2013)

Thank you, Elegirl.

As for 'talking' on the phone I'm not even sure it's amounting to that...maybe texts and chats via Virtual Private Number that he accesses. But i don't know. A VPN can be used for a number of purposes. Very often to log in to a site that requires a phone number (eg Tinder, but not just Tinder), but could also be used as a temporary number for other purposes.

thanks, I'll look at that link
Metta


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

After reading 3Xnocharm's post about the OP having suspicions about this guy for the last 6 YEARS, I'm reminded of a dear friend of mine.

Like Miss Metta, she too couldn't trust her rotten lying cheater of a husband as far as she could throw him and she chose to obsess about 'gathering data' instead of facing the reality of her situation head on. Having almost caught him more times than she could count was not good enough - she needed that smoking gun no matter HOW many women's numbers she found in his wallet and no matter how many people told her they saw her husband with a woman in his car and no matter how many times she found condoms or other suspicious things in his pockets. 

No sir, it was *much *easier to spend 18 years obsessing about finding that one piece of evidence she HAD to have - because doing that allowed her to *not* have to look at the bigger picture and actually face the fact that she needed to leave the POS.

I have the feeling this poster may be doing the same thing if it's already been 6 years and counting.


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## faithfulman (Jun 4, 2018)

Use Fonelab. Dr. Fone sucks.

It will leave no evidence, but you need some time to scan, select what you want to retrieve, and copy it over to your computer. 

I'm assuming he has an iPhone. Make sure you download and install iTunes first, then install Fonelab. 

Make sure you have his phone's passcode.

Finally the first time you connect his phone to your computer, you will need to "trust" the computer by tapping a prompt on the phone.

You'll probably need about an hour or so, but you can recover a lot, deleted texts, images, videos and cheater app messages.

***

Or you can just leave him like the posters who have good advice suggested above.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Here is a good thread to read in your situation.

https://talkaboutmarriage.com/consi...ion/371010-those-who-move-through-action.html


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> I have the feeling this poster may be doing the same thing if it's already been 6 years and counting.



Did you happen to notice she completely ignored my post?  

This is no way to live life. 



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Miss Metta (Jan 27, 2013)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> After reading 3Xnocharm's post about the OP having suspicions about this guy for the last 6 YEARS, I'm reminded of a dear friend of mine.
> 
> Like Miss Metta, she too couldn't trust her rotten lying cheater of a husband as far as she could throw him and she chose to obsess about 'gathering data' instead of facing the reality of her situation head on. Having almost caught him more times than she could count was not good enough - she needed that smoking gun no matter HOW many women's numbers she found in his wallet and no matter how many people told her they saw her husband with a woman in his car and no matter how many times she found condoms or other suspicious things in his pockets.
> 
> ...



Nope. Finding condoms would do it for me. Like it did with my last relationship. That was enough proof. Any of the other things you mentioned also would. All I have here is trickles of money disappearing and a past history of drug use which I can't see signs of.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Miss Metta said:


> Nope. Finding condoms would do it for me. Like it did with my last relationship. That was enough proof. Any of the other things you mentioned also would. All I have here is trickles of money disappearing and a past history of drug use which I can't see signs of.


 I just skimmed some of your past threads and you've had trouble with this liar from the day you married him. You've been dealing with years of his SHADY behavior with him being vague about where he's going or where he's been, refusing to give you addresses of where his supposed 'friends' live, him having way too many 'dental appointments' always on the *same* day of the week and at the *same* time of day, and you mention several times something about 'sex buddies' he had (whatever that means).

So him being a junkie isn't your only problem. 

You'll know when you've have enough of the bull****. You're just not there yet. I hope you don't waste 20 or 30 precious years of your life on him before you finally realize it.


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## Miss Metta (Jan 27, 2013)

Sports Fan said:


> Where there is smoke there is fire. VAR in car will do wonders.


As I have mentioned in my post, this is tricky. His car is a company vehicle. Several men are in and out of it all day, driving it, eating lunch in it, sleeping, farting, snoring, drinking and car pooling in it.
Only needs one of the lads to kick his foot under the driver's seat while they are skylarking in the back or roll something underneath for the VAR to be found. Plus, it can go in for service unannounced, meaning I could plant it and it get found. Also the idea of listening to other men's conversations is icky.

That said, I'm looking at miniature ones. So yes, you're probably right, it might pick up something.


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## Miss Metta (Jan 27, 2013)

Android. I said this in my post. Fonelab doesn't work with it
thanks anyway



faithfulman said:


> Use Fonelab. Dr. Fone sucks.
> 
> It will leave no evidence, but you need some time to scan, select what you want to retrieve, and copy it over to your computer.
> 
> ...


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## faithfulman (Jun 4, 2018)

https://www.fonelab.com/android-data-recovery/


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## Miss Metta (Jan 27, 2013)

faithfulman said:


> https://www.fonelab.com/android-data-recovery/


sorry I thought I replied to you.
thanks for that when I looked them up the page said not android compatible. 
I've read on here people recommending this over Dr Fone for iphone, but is it also better for Android? Do you know?


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## faithfulman (Jun 4, 2018)

Miss Metta said:


> sorry I thought I replied to you.
> thanks for that when I looked them up the page said not android compatible.
> I've read on here people recommending this over Dr Fone for iphone, but is it also better for Android? Do you know?


Sorry, I don't know.


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