# ?Red flags in marriage?



## Christin Springer (Apr 23, 2019)

My husband and I been married 4 years. It’s been very rocky the past 2 years. He now demands privacy in email accts, password protected phone, opened separate bank acct, keeps all important documents titles, and spare keys ect. at his moms. (Things he owned prev. to marriage) I feel he’s very controlling in nature. He doesn’t like me to wear heels when I’m not with him says it’s to flashy. I feel like I’m drowning and it’s his world I’m just living in it. Is this marriage behavior or red flags? It hasen’t always been like this...


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

The sudden change in privacy is very alarming. Also, things like heels, has he always been this demanding/controlling, or is this something new?

You have every right to be concerned unfortunately


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## StarFires (Feb 27, 2018)

No, none of that is normal behavior, not in marriage or any other type of relationship. Besides, the only thing that matters is how it makes you feel and whether or not you like it and accept it, despite how other people feel or what they tolerate.

The secrecy means he has something to hide. And as far as his being controlling, he can only control you if you allow yourself to be controlled. You are not supposed to live your life by his permission or his approval. He is not your father, so don't allow yourself to act like his child. You're a grown woman capable of making your own decisions, who should wear heels whenever you want and do anything else you want to do whether he likes it or not. If you're drowning in his world, then you should remove yourself from his world and live in a world of your own design.

What are your circumstances? Do you work? Do you have children? Is there anything preventing you from leaving him?


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Also, to add, if you do not have children yet DO NOT even consider it until you guys get things resolved and you feel comfortable in this marriage.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

I wonder what happened 2 years ago that caused this change? I suspect he is hiding something big.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Christin Springer said:


> My husband and I been married 4 years. It’s been very rocky the past 2 years. He now demands privacy in email accts, password protected phone, opened separate bank acct, keeps all important documents titles, and spare keys ect. at his moms. (Things he owned prev. to marriage) I feel he’s very controlling in nature. He doesn’t like me to wear heels when I’m not with him says it’s to flashy. I feel like I’m drowning and it’s his world I’m just living in it. Is this marriage behavior or red flags? It hasen’t always been like this...


Read up on narcissism and see if he fits the profile. He could be making moves to to leave you, I am sorry.


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## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

Diana7 said:


> I wonder what happened 2 years ago that caused this change? I suspect he is hiding something big.


What happened is he started cheating. And he probably wants to leave OP and move on. 

OR he went nuts. 

OP, you need to figure out how to get out of this marriage, I am sorry...


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Christin Springer said:


> My husband and I been married 4 years. It’s been very rocky the past 2 years. He now demands privacy in email accts, password protected phone, opened separate bank acct, keeps all important documents titles, and spare keys ect. at his moms. (Things he owned prev. to marriage) I feel he’s very controlling in nature. He doesn’t like me to wear heels when I’m not with him says it’s to flashy. I feel like I’m drowning and it’s his world I’m just living in it. Is this marriage behavior or red flags? It hasen’t always been like this...


Who cheated?


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## Christin Springer (Apr 23, 2019)

I don’t know what caused the change in us. I have never cheated and despise thise that do. To my knowledge he hasent either. Though things are coming to mind why he would be acting this way. When we first got married he had f.b I was not to familiar with it. I did notice his friends consisted mostly of females. So I told him I was uncomfortable with the situation. I asked if he would remove girls that he had a past with ( leaving it to him as he is the only one who knows) he told me if it bothered me delete them. I countered I don’t know who they are. Sum it up I removed girls that i didn’t know the back story on. 2 years later he throws in my face that the girls are prob wondering why he unfriended them, after all he says they didn’t do anything wrong. I told him who cares how or what they think. Your wife’s feelings are more important. This has been brought up several times during arguments, now that things have gotten worse he has changed fb passwords email passwords ect. So ya I think there’s more that I don’t know.


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