# ED and the wifes role



## Standbyme2 (Nov 4, 2015)

Hi everyone. I saw this site and think I have found the perfect place to discuss my issues and things in my marriage that concern me. I would love to hear from others, men and women. I love my wife dearly but need advice and to find out if I'm alone in this or not. Please be patient as you read though my long post but I feel it’s the only way for everyone to get the full picture.

I am on Testosterone therapy but lately any intercourse that I (and I am sure my wife would say was good) is primarily through the help of ED meds. She really has no clue how bad it has gotten and seems to think I just have good and bad days. What she does not know is I pretty much take ED meds all the time now. I am aware that I am at the age where ED issues can occasionally arise but I don’t believe that my ED is from physical problems but more mental. Every time ED manifests itself I lose more self-confidence and become more frustrated. I know I do not have true ED because I am still able to get erections at other times through porn or masturbation.

I am fully aware that this is a mental block but, my true problem with the mental block does not originate from me but from my wife. Please remember when I say this it is with no disrespect to my wife, I love her dearly but behind closed doors she is simply not any good in the marriage bed. Here is what I mean, and some of this seems to be a common problem that I have read about with men in committed relationships. She simply just lays in the bed in the missionary position and I am always doing the work. Rarely does she ever treat me to her doing the work in other positions. She herself has even admitted to me that she does not consider herself to be good in bed because she doesn’t like to do any of the work. She seems to be enthusiastic about the missionary position but does not like to participate in anything else that we can share the work load during intercourse. I always seek to please her orally and otherwise and she seems to enjoy it. However the things that I do are never reciprocated.

I have talked to her sweetly and calmly on occasions outside of the act of intercourse during heartfelt discussions, telling her of the things that I miss she used to do and the things that I would like to do. In addition to what I need in order to perform and be the best I can be in the bedroom. In every case when I have talked to her she seems to just ignore me or responds with “I Agree”. However I have not seen much effort on her part to meet me half way and that is where my biggest problem begins. It seems that she used the old bait and switch technique on me when it comes to oral and foreplay in general.

There is no foreplay on her part towards me. What happens is I perform oral one her until she has an orgasm and then she wants to proceed immediately to intercourse. Because I know she will not participate in any kind of foreplay to give me an erection, I have to hope that act of pleasuring her is enough to give me an erection. In my mind I think “If this does not get me hard then we will not be having sex tonight”. It has created a terrible mental feedback cycle that has compounded itself over time. The truth is I may be able to get an erection a little more than half the time while pleasuring her but it’s the anticipation of the other times when I’m unable to get an erection that causes more problems. 

For the most part I have been able to overcome these issues by relying on ED meds. She would prefer I not take them and wants for me to not fear and just relax. I love her dearly but I have become somewhat resentful towards her inability to know how to make me happy. What also bothers me is she has told me of a very promiscuous past in which she would very freely give BJs to men, sometimes even on a dare. Yet here I am, the man that she loves, and she cannot put the same energy and enthusiasm into helping me get an erection to have sex. I feel as if I would not even have these problems if I could rely on her to do what it took to help me perform better in bed. I am aware that I am not perfect but I am in my forties. I feel most woman her age should already know that it may take more foreplay to give a man an erection. Not to forget, I have already directly told her on multiple occasions I need more stimulation. Short of the mental blocks that exist, I think I am right where I should be for a man my age, but she is not where she should be.

Am I alone in this? Are there other men or cases out there similar to mines? It sure would help to know I am not alone in this. . I love her so much and all of this has sent me into a state of depression. I’m always worrying about this and have almost come to the point where I want to avoid sex with her. We have only been married five months and this is not how I want my marriage to be with the woman I love. I welcome all replies from men and women. I’m trying to be as open minded as possible.
BTW these are some quick bullet points to some questions that may arise for me:

I know she absolutely adores and loves me
I only watch porn or masturbate on rare occasion to prove to myself that my manhood still works
She has told me I have an attractive d*** - so I know she is not repulsed by the site
I am fit and not overweight.
I have always kept myself clean


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

well, my friend, you are absolutely not alone in this. that's for starters.

how do i know? first because of my own experience, and second from reading scores and scores of similar stories.

i guess there's some studs out there that can pull a boner at an instant, any and every time they want, but believe me i ain't one of them
and i doubt that many men are.

i'll tell you a tidbit from my own experience that might help.
some years ago, i had a gorgeous totally sexy g.f. 17 years younger than me.
she had the best body of any woman iv'e ever been with.
believe me when i say my unit was in good working order. 
i would get up at night and have to fight that thing like crazy for 2 -3 minutes just to relieve myself.
you know what i'm talking about.

but when it came to g..f i had trouble. she was very demanding and intimidating.
her idea of foreplay was to get nekkid as fast as possible and then say 'do it!'
i would try to ravish her body and be tender, but she would get impatient and try to hurry me up.
well, i could usually get it up, but then i would put it in and she would wince in pain claiming it hurt and i would go soft.
then i couldn't get back up and she would exclaim "don't i turn you on?? what's wrong??!"

that's the thing. we're not machines. we need foreplay, many of us. we need tenderness.
it's called 'making love' for a reason.

i'm sure there's tons' of guys out there that can just fvck on command, but i ain't one of 'em and probably you ain't either.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

peacem said:


> You are putting pressure on yourself and your wife is not helping. Be honest with her about what you need.


The last thing you want to do is get in a situation where you are essentially forcing your wife to try and have an orgasm in the hopes that it strengthens your erection. (aka vigorously rubbing her and subsequently numbing/irritating her with every trick in your playbook)

You should get in the mental space of teasing your wife and telling her that you will not let her have an orgasm yet in order to enjoy getting her and yourself more aroused.

Badsanta


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## TeddieG (Sep 9, 2015)

This is a very sore subject for me, because an inept urologist put a stent in my husband's penis to prevent a kidney stone from passing. He was even more brutal when he took it out. My h developed ED, but I already had a sense that he was having circulation problems. He eventually said that after he confessed to his infidelity that if he loved me, he wouldn't have ED.

You're being very honest and you have considered these issues. What I wish my h had done was when we were in bed together would have been to talk to me then, and lead the way into things he wanted to do. I couldn't read his mind, but the other problem is, he didn't like that I had to use lubrication. After a hysterectomy years ago and the eventual change in my hormone therapy over time (taking out testosterone so I wouldn't grow hair on my face, etc.) and the constant needs for adjustment, intercourse was painful without lube. He didn't like using it. 

His OW did anything he wanted, I'm sure, but he still had to use Viagra. And at its worst, when he would use his ED meds, they sometimes didn't work, caused him to flush, and I am certain he felt shame about that and didn't want me to see it. I always felt that rather than attributing his problem to the damage from the stent, he blamed me, and rationalized his affair. 

So I felt that he wanted me to a) forego anything that made me comfortable, and b) solve his ED problem on my own. 

If I were you, I might consider asking my wife why she is so interested in having you forego the ED meds. My h's erections WERE different, and not long-lived, on the ED meds, and I was adapting and adjusting and making subtle changes to contribute to his pleasure while trying not to react to them in ways that would contribute to his sense of shame or exposure. In other words, I had to adapt to his changing situation and also act as if the pain that was being caused for me wasn't real, in order not to spook him. I did all that, and then one morning when the b/j didn't solve the erection problem, he decided that OW did it better for him than I did. 

This is just as scary territory for your wife as it is for you. I'm glad to hear you say you love her and are crazy about her, because I think with your level of honesty you guys could work through this, but this could very well be as traumatic for your wife as it is for you. I DO remember feeling some anxiety about how long he would want to spend on my pleasure because I realized that the longer he did, the less likely it was that his erection would last and we would both be disappointed in what he was able to enjoy. And I think he was taking his time with me a) in hopes it would maintain his erection, as it had in the past (he is a Peter Pan and was testing his body and it often failed him and he didn't like adaption to a new reality to maintain old pleasures) and b) as a cover for the very real possibility that he would not last and not be satisfied. Why he couldn't understand that failure for him to be satisfied was a disappointment for me, I don't know. I was never the type for sex to be "all about me." And no matter how selfish he was about other things, as it turned out, neither was he.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

No, you are not alone. Just keep reading TAM you will find scores of men and women with sexual problems in their marriages.

It seems like you are caught in a nasty cycle. You need to have a frank, this is how things are talk with your wife. Let her know she needs to change and put in some effort because her laying there does nothing for you. 

Have you every just use your meds and use some lube, then, going into her? No foreplay. Then, explain to her this is how you feel. You have to tell her exactly how bad things are with you.


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

When I go down on my wife, I have to pay attention to exactly what I'm doing to get her off. I do get aroused by doing this but getting aroused actually makes me lose the focus on her that's needed. So, I focus on her, which often results in me losing my erection. Then, of course, she has an orgasm and wants it in immediately. I understand that, at that time, that's what she wants (and it often works). But that doesn't mean that I can do it. Also, having intercourse before going down on her (w/o me having an orgasm), then switching to going down on her and then back PIV is best for me but can make her too sensitive when I go down on her. The ideal situation for her would be for me to go down on her to orgasm and then pound her for a couple of minutes and get off myself. But, that's far from ideal for me. These situations are only going to be solved by both of you working on it and the focus being on your enjoyment as well as hers. Some women seem to think that if a man orgasms, that's all he needs. But, that's not necessarily all that's needed for a man's satisfaction with his sex life.


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

And, obviously her blowing previous guys on a dare and not doing it for you is a problem (though some women here will just say that it's okay because 'she's a different person now" or some like that).


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## JoeHenderson (Oct 3, 2011)

Standbyme2 said:


> There is no foreplay on her part towards me. What happens is I perform oral one her until she has an orgasm and then she wants to proceed immediately to intercourse. Because I know she will not participate in any kind of foreplay to give me an erection, I have to hope that act of pleasuring her is enough to give me an erection. In my mind I think “If this does not get me hard then we will not be having sex tonight”. It has created a terrible mental feedback cycle that has compounded itself over time. The truth is I may be able to get an erection a little more than half the time while pleasuring her but it’s the anticipation of the other times when I’m unable to get an erection that causes more problems.


I can understand. I was heading down this route when I noticed that my wife would just lie there, even though she saw that I wasn't hard. It was difficult for two reasons. First, it made me feel alone in a time when you should feel very together. Sadness is a boner killer. Second, I felt this pressure to create a boner without help. I didn't feel like I could masturbate in front of her because she thought it looked funny or was gross. So there I was just hoping it would happen. Finally, it didn't happen one night and I felt terrible. I had a sit down with her and told her how lonely I felt during "sex" and that I'm not 18 anymore and need some stimulation. Fortunately, she listened and we've been better since then. 

In any case, I share this story to assure you that you're not alone. I hope you two can work it out.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

JoeHenderson said:


> I can understand. I was heading down this route when I noticed that my wife would just lie there, even though she saw that I wasn't hard. It was difficult for two reasons. First, it made me feel alone in a time when you should feel very together. Sadness is a boner killer. Second, I felt this pressure to create a boner without help. I didn't feel like I could masturbate in front of her because she thought it looked funny or was gross. So there I was just hoping it would happen. Finally, it didn't happen one night and I felt terrible. I had a sit down with her and told her how lonely I felt during "sex" and that I'm not 18 anymore and need some stimulation. Fortunately, she listened and we've been better since then.
> 
> In any case, I share this story to assure you that you're not alone. I hope you two can work it out.


right on.

after being with a number of women that have expected men to 'get e'r up' just because their sexy (and by the way, that's not such an unreasonable mindset, just doesn't always work, especially when older), i married a gem.

she makes sure i'm good 'n hard with as much foreplay as i need.

after all, it's a win/win. if she makes sure i'm hard, she reaps the benefit too. why can't it be that simple?


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## Standbyme2 (Nov 4, 2015)

TeddieG said:


> This is just as scary territory for your wife as it is for you. I'm glad to hear you say you love her and are crazy about her, because I think with your level of honesty you guys could work through this, but this could very well be as traumatic for your wife as it is for you. I DO remember feeling some anxiety about how long he would want to spend on my pleasure because I realized that the longer he did, the less likely it was that his erection would last and we would both be disappointed in what he was able to enjoy. And I think he was taking his time with me a) in hopes it would maintain his erection, as it had in the past (he is a Peter Pan and was testing his body and it often failed him and he didn't like adaption to a new reality to maintain old pleasures) and b) as a cover for the very real possibility that he would not last and not be satisfied. Why he couldn't understand that failure for him to be satisfied was a disappointment for me, I don't know. I was never the type for sex to be "all about me." And no matter how selfish he was about other things, as it turned out, neither was he.


I know that she is scared. She has told me many times before...that she seems to have this effect on the important men in her life. I have told her that I would rather her try to push through and get me erect than not try at all. In her first marriage she had problems with getting her first husband hard and that in turn led to all types of other problems.


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## Standbyme2 (Nov 4, 2015)

Buddy400 said:


> And, obviously her blowing previous guys on a dare and not doing it for you is a problem (though some women here will just say that it's okay because 'she's a different person now" or some like that).


You are so absolutely right. I love her no matter what but she has admitted to me that she is jealous of some of the things that I have done with other women. So I have made sure that I have done the same with her. However, I dont understand how she can do all these things for other men but not for the man that she is in love with or married to. Especially if it gets me hard and ends in a happy ending for her and I.

She used to always tell me how she did not mind giving me BJs because I did not make her do it for long periods of time like her ex did. She also said that her ex's semem had a horrible smell and mines did not. She told me that she liked doing it to me. Unfortunately, I believe that she had just lied to me, the bait and switch part. What hurts is if she were available and out on the streets so to speak. I have the feeling that she would find that enthusiasm for giving blowjobs if it were a new man all over again. So why could she not do that for me to get me erect for sex?


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## Standbyme2 (Nov 4, 2015)

Buddy400 said:


> When I go down on my wife, I have to pay attention to exactly what I'm doing to get her off. I do get aroused by doing this but getting aroused actually makes me lose the focus on her that's needed. So, I focus on her, which often results in me losing my erection. Then, of course, she has an orgasm and wants it in immediately. I understand that, at that time, that's what she wants (and it often works). But that doesn't mean that I can do it. Also, having intercourse before going down on her (w/o me having an orgasm), then switching to going down on her and then back PIV is best for me but can make her too sensitive when I go down on her. The ideal situation for her would be for me to go down on her to orgasm and then pound her for a couple of minutes and get off myself. But, that's far from ideal for me. These situations are only going to be solved by both of you working on it and the focus being on your enjoyment as well as hers. Some women seem to think that if a man orgasms, that's all he needs. But, that's not necessarily all that's needed for a man's satisfaction with his sex life.


This is my situation exactly. I have told her that we need to switch it up because my erection may not last until she has had a orgasm. When she does have on she wants me to put it in immediately. That is fine if I am erect, but if not then I feel the pressure because she wants me in but I cant provide the goods. I give her an orgasm in the hopes that it will get her wet enough to have sex. But even it she is not wet sex can still happen with lubrication. But if im not hard than the party is over.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Reading over your story.. all I was thinking is.. if I was like your new wife.. that could have been my husband ! Mid 40's .. though this was due to my pushing his limits.. I caused him some performance pressure....

The last thing I was going to let slip is ME not helping him get over this hump !! 

I am one of those wives who went out of my way to get the snake to rise..I bought sex book after sex book on how to please a man (one was called "Tickle his pickle"...went on a lingerie kick, I introduced new positions, places, took the lead...I enjoyed that .....

I even read about "sensate focus" exercises -a few exercises (they worked!) to get his mind off his member.. I must be honest, it bothered me if he needed a little blue pill.. so I saw it as *my challenge *to turn him on ..and keep him turned on.. this set me on the highest mountain.. 

These are some of the books I bought.. I think your wife could greatly benefit ...and you...if she is willing to put forth the effort .. to enhance what the 2 of you share.. it's true.. there is nothing at all wrong with you.. you need some enthusiasm , to FEEL her desire.. and the extra stimulation. This is a fact as men age.. wives need to UP their oral skills to keep the bedroom alive & kicking !

*1. *Passionista: The Empowered Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man 

*2.*  Sexual Healing: The Complete Guide to Overcoming Common Sexual Problems  (had those sensate focus exercises) -just as you would get from seeing a Sex therapist...

*3.* All Night Long: How to Make Love to a Man Over 50 .. this book is so informative, detailed in explaining ALL ABOUT THE PENIS .. how as men age, they NEED the extra stimulation .. how a man can't "will it".. your wife really needs to get a handle on this..understand her influence on you, and how to keep the fires going..


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Not alone.


Not alone at all.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Standbyme2 said:


> ...I am on Testosterone therapy but lately any intercourse that I (and I am sure my wife would say was good) is primarily through the help of ED meds.
> 
> ....She simply just lays in the bed in the missionary position and I am always doing the work. Rarely does she ever treat me to her doing the work in other positions.
> 
> ...





Standbyme2 said:


> I know that she is scared. She has told me many times before...that she seems to have this effect on the important men in her life. I have told her that I would rather her try to push through and get me erect than not try at all. In her first marriage she had problems with getting her first husband hard and that in turn led to all types of other problems.


Where to start. How about Testosterone HRT. One of the dirty little secrets most doctors don't tell men that the prescribe Testosterone to (because the pharma sales people don't tell the doctor) is that HRT is often a lifetime commitment. The body regulates the amount of T produced by the testicles to provide a certain amount within the blood stream. When you take prescribed T, your body wants to retain the set point and tells the testicles to shut down production. Often within 2 to 6 months of starting HRT, the testicles shut down completely and start to shrink in size. At that point your T-levels are likely to drop and need to go in for blood work and get a new prescription dosage. 

So when did you start your HRT? Have you gone back and had some bloodwork to verify what your Free and Total T levels are recently? You should do that about every six months to a year.

Next you are not alone, in may ways my wife is somewhat like yours and in others she isn't.

In my situation my wife has only two positions in which she will allow PIV sex; missionary and cowgirl. Luckily for me she has learned to master each very well and when she is in the right frame of mind can rock my world! Other times not much enthusiasm. So I feel your pain. My wife will neither give me a bj nor allow be to go down on her, as she feels both are perverted and gross. Oh yes, prefers lights out, never gets completely naked, etc. Be greatful that she allows you to go down on her, that she has given you a bj in the past and that she can get enthusiastic about at least one position. There are guys out there that would view this as a huge improvement to their situation.

Again, to make you feel like you are not alone, when asked by a sex therapist is my wife ever masturbated she informed the sex therapist that it was a sin and that she now has a husband to take care of any such needs she may have. At least the sex therapist when asking if I masturbated, said it was important that I continued as it really is a case of use it or loose it.

My wife has said to me that if I can't get an erection it means I am not horny enough to want sex from her. Only on rare occasions do I get any kind of foreplay and then it is at most a couple quick strokes while pushing it into her in one of her two positions. So you have company.

Another insight I have learned from my wife. I pay a lot of attention to trying to make sex for her a toe curling experience. I spend a lot of time providing her foreplay even if she will not give me much of any foreplay. I do that because I love her unconditionally. Drop any anger, resentment, etc. as she will know it and it will not help you. Make her sexual experience good and she will be more willing to have them. If you don't, don't be surprised if the frequency drops off. When my wife has multiple orgasms, what she has told me is that she feels "need" to feel my penis inside her. If for some reason, I can't, it really bothers her. Luckily at 66 I don't have that problem except on rare occasion. (knock on wood---pun intended.)

As to your wife having slept around before marrying you may be an issue for her. She may be so ashamed of some of the things she did that "now that she is a proper married lady" may absolutely have guilt in doing things that remind her of those times of shame. So as much as you feel you have mental issues to work through, she may have more.

Similarly, if she really did have a first husband who had sever ED problem she might be traumatized by her past experiences. For example, ED can be caused by heart disease and some pretty ugly things. Do you know the source of her first husbands ED? If she had vigorous sex with him and he suffered a heart attack and was carted off in an ambulance to the hospital she could have PTSD about sex with a man with ED. This kind of sex heart attack really does happen (remember the statement in all the ED med commercials about "ask your doctor if you heart is healthy enough for sex?"). You might want to talk to her about her fears in regards to ED. 

Alternately, ED can put a huge strain on a marriage and it could have been the start of a really ugly period in her first marriage and she is having flash-backs on that happening now and is projecting things unwinding. He approach to telling you to relax may by trying to pretend that sex is no big deal to her, which you are interpreting as she is a lazy lover and not that interested in you.

Also she may have more experience with ED than you do and knows that no matter how much foreplay she provides it will not get her special soldier to salute. In that kind of situation with her first husband, she could have felt like a sexual failure. Not good memories, but one should should understand before you really know what is going on between the two of you.

YOU HAVE ONLY BEEN MARRIED 5 MONTHS?!!! The honeymoon should not be over. The two of you are obviously under some real stress.

I am glad you realize that you are not perfect. My suggestion is for you to go into a really good medical doctor and get a complete check-up and lots of blood work so you baseline information on all kinds of things and can rule out everything medical from your ED issues. If there is a medical basis, then work with your doctor and fixing it.

My next suggestion is to really talk to her about her fears and past experience with ED. Show here some websites that she can explore to learn that can mentor her on what she can do. There are lots of prostate cancer survivor spouse support websites/groups that might be able to give her some ideas on what she can do to make the two of you feel intimate, even if her special friend isn't cooperating. She may know a lot more about ED than you do and may be traumatized that it is showing up to her new marriage. 

Finally, at 5 months into your marriage, spend the money on going to a really good sex therapist. The two of you will benefit from what the sex therapist can suggest. Don't be surprised if you learn that you are a bigger part of the problem between you and your new bride than you suspect. Also a good sex therapist can help pull past fears/experience out of your wife that may be relevant to your current situation. If nothing else the ST can help negotiate between the two of you alternate things to do that will provide intimacy during those time where you can't get it up.

Good luck to you.

Oh, I have been married to the same woman for 44+ years, I love her more that just about anything in the world. We were in sex starved marriage, and with lots of help, we now regularly have sex twice a week and I am thrilled compared to where I have been and count my small glass as "half full" and not half empty. Good luck to you.


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

I'm sorry I may have missed it - married only 5 months but how long dating/sexually active before marriage?


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

Since you can get hard watching porn, Can you and your wife act out a porno playing in the background?

Dude
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Standbyme2 (Nov 4, 2015)

Emerald said:


> I'm sorry I may have missed it - married only 5 months but how long dating/sexually active before marriage?


We have been dating and sexually active for 2 years prior to us getting married. So in many ways the honey period is over. We are both very use to each other and the new thrill has worn off. In the beginning just kissing her was enough to get me erect so ED was never an issue. For her, she would become so aroused that when she took her panties off she would be so wet that it looked like a man had already ejaculated on her. Now even after giving her oral and she has an orgasm she can still be dry sometimes. That has at times led to ed occasionally. What little erection I had would be lost trying to get inside of her.


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## Standbyme2 (Nov 4, 2015)

Dude007 said:


> Since you can get hard watching porn, Can you and your wife act out a porno playing in the background?
> 
> Dude
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Yes that does seem to help occasionally. We have tried to find couples porn but it has been hard to find something we both agree on. If I had my way I would lean to amateur stuff or bj movies >. She would go for S&M stuff :|which will not even get me half erect. So we kind of compromise an get Porn with a storyline that has casual sex.


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## NoIinThreesome (Nov 6, 2007)

Going back to HRT, what does your protocol look like? Are you taking HCG so your testes don't fail? Are you monitoring your estrogen levels? ED is a common side effect of both too much and not enough estrogen. Are you taking a gel, injectables, or pellets? What do you use to manage your estrogen levels?


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## RAYMOND (Feb 5, 2010)

Dude007 said:


> Since you can get hard watching porn, Can you and your wife act out a porno playing in the background?
> 
> Dude
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Mental adultery just causes more problkems in a marriage. Bad idea.


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## brownmale (Apr 20, 2015)

Some quick comments:

* Found myself facing ED when my wife's interest in sex was declining. Not coincidental.
* Try something like doggie style. Seeing a woman supine before her lord and master (sorry for sounding like a male chauvinist) really does something to the male ego!
* How long have you been together? Usually, this steps in when the honeymoon phase is over....
* About her giving it to others: that's normal, I think, when one is not ain a long term relationship. In a LTR, the novelty moves out and boredom sets in. It's NOT you!




Standbyme2 said:


> Hi everyone. I saw this site and think I have found the perfect place to discuss my issues and things in my marriage that concern me. I would love to hear from others, men and women. I love my wife dearly but need advice and to find out if I'm alone in this or not. Please be patient as you read though my long post but I feel it’s the only way for everyone to get the full picture.


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