# What happens when the OM fights for the WW?



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

I touched on this in another current thread but wanted to toss this out for your experiences and observations and opinions on the matter. 

I believe the vast vast majority of OM get with MW for the easy, no-strings poon and the moment they get caught or the moment the BH arrives on the scene or if it gets the least bit difficult for them, they scatter like roaches in the light. 

In fact, I truly believe the best way to get rid of an OM is to hand her over to him and say here ya go. They don't want to deal with her crap, they want you to deal with all that other stuff. More often than not, an OM doesn't want the WW fulltime and doesn't want anything other than poon. He doesn't want to deal with her kids, he doesn't want to fix her flats, he doesn't want to deal with her friends and family etc etc. 

But what happens when an OM does want the WW and is willing to stand and fight?? 

My observation and experience has been if the OM is willing to take her fulltime and is willing to stand up to the BH and even take a beating and come back for more - it's game over for the BH. 

I've personally known women that have left for the OM within days and if the OM is willing to stand and fight (both figuratively as well as literally) it's a game over moment. 

I suspect that the WW already saw the OM as the Bigger Better Deal (BBD) when she started banging him and if he is willing to stand up and take her despite confrontations from BH, it just seals the deal. 

That has been my experience and observation over the years. Has anyone seen similar instances or seen anything different?

Has anyone seen the OM make a full court press for the WW and she still went back to the BH? 

If she did go back to the BH did she every truly love, respect or desire him again??

What are your experiences and observations when the OM stands and competes for the WW?


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

This is the more typical OM


----------



## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

Wow. If a man had said that last line. 😳


----------



## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

From what I’ve see the OM already has the wayward. Some waywards just want to cake eat so it is a mixed bag but that choice was made when they stepped out.


----------



## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

oldshirt said:


> This is the more typical OM


Man that was so spot on.


----------



## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

oldshirt said:


> My observation and experience has been if the OM is willing to take her fulltime and is willing to stand up to the BH and even take a beating and come back for more - it's game over for the BH.


Of course that's often the case. The chick is with the OM because she's lost interest and respect for the husband to begin with. She not getting her perceived needs from the marriage and if the husband win her back, (God help him if he thinks that's what he's doing) she's back for her needs and her needs ain't him. He's now a member of the, "After Reconciliation Wife Lacks Enthusiasm About Sex" club.


----------



## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

VladDracul said:


> Of course that's often the case. The chick is with the OM because she's lost interest and respect for the husband to begin with. She not getting her perceived needs from the marriage and if the husband win her back, (God help him if he thinks that's what he's doing) she's back for her needs and her needs ain't him. He's now a member of the, "After Reconciliation Wife Lacks Enthusiasm About Sex" club.


The 2 question every betrayed should ask themselves (not gender specific). What are you losing and what would you be getting back?


----------



## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

sokillme said:


> Man that was so spot on.


Double like. Because there is no button for that. 😂


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Marc878 said:


> From what I’ve see the OM already has the wayward. Some waywards just want to cake eat so it is a mixed bag but that choice was made when they stepped out.


I do believe there is a fundamental difference between cheating men and cheating women in terms of cake eating. 

I think the basic hard wiring of men is to gather harems and just add more women to the mix. Men rarely actually dump women unless the women are cheating on them (and that even seems rare here on TAM) In fact a lot of MM will be quite upfront with their OW that they don't intend to leave the BW even if the OW would have them fulltime. Having the dutiful wifey and mother at home while having hot monkey sex with the OW indefinately is the male version of cake eating. 

Female cake eating can take on a form of actual dual mating strategy if the BH and OM(s) have vastly differing in critical assets. The classic is the beta provider that has a good income and is good parental material but is otherwise sexually unattractive and a dud in bed so she hooks up with the hunk. But if the hunk is underemployed, she may employ the dual mating strategy for a period of time until she finds a hunk that is at least on par financially with the BH and preferably better. 

It may not been as much but sometimes the opposite can happen as well and it is the BH that is the hunk and the good lover and gives her lots of orgasms and passion but plays video games all day and always has an excuse why he doesn't work or continues to work as the night stock boy at Walmart, and it is the OM that is the beta provider that is showering her with gifts and dinners and trinkets but her sexual and emotional attraction for him are lacking. So she basically gets into a bit of an unofficial Sugar Baby type situation with the OM.

But the biggest factor that hold WW back from monkey branching is the OM himself. Most OM are simply in it for the poon. I think you are correct that by the time the WW's underwear is hitting the floor, the ball is in the OM's court. 

My experience and observations have been if the OM agrees to take her and her brood on full time and is willing to stand up for that, the bags get packed very fast at that point. 

I personally know a few different women that went from normal daily married life to loading the truck within weeks. One was literally in the course of a weekend. 

One had her lawyer write up the divorce agreement where she kept her car, her clothes, a couple pictures off the wall and 50/50 custody of the kids and left every sitting right where it was in the house. She had a similar income to BH but didn't touch a penny in the bank accounts or retirement accounts and threw her clothes in the car and left. She admits he was not abusive or drunk or ever mistreated her in any way - she just wanted out and to start anew with OM. She was gone within a month or two of their first Facebook message.


----------



## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

oldshirt said:


> I do believe there is a fundamental difference between cheating men and cheating women in terms of cake eating.
> 
> I think the basic hard wiring of men is to gather harems and just add more women to the mix. Men rarely actually dump women unless the women are cheating on them (and that even seems rare here on TAM) In fact a lot of MM will be quite upfront with their OW that they don't intend to leave the BW even if the OW would have them fulltime. Having the dutiful wifey and mother at home while having hot monkey sex with the OW indefinately is the male version of cake eating.
> 
> ...


I’d agree. Men for the most part just want a side piece where as women want the whole enchilada.


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Marc878 said:


> The 2 question every betrayed should ask themselves (not gender specific). What are you losing and what would you be getting back?


The problem there ( and I speak from experience when I went through that with a LTR) is you believe you are losing the hot babe and wonderful girl that loved you and desired you from the previous good times of the relationship. 

What you believe you will be getting back is that same hot babe that loved you and had burning desire for you from the previous good times in the relationship. 

I fell for that one once. I did the whole beg and plead and make promises while she held me at arm's length and would tell me that she needed "space" and "time to think things through" etc etc all while riding the OM like a stolen horse.

Then when he finally had enough and went on about his business, then she agreed to let me take her to dinners and movies and entertain her being a dancing monkey, but of course was never "in the mood" or didn't "feel good" that night and 101 other excuses on why things were never the same as the good ol' days. All while she kept her "options open" and kept her eyes on the market for the next BBD. 

I begged and pleaded and negotiated and danced for a long time and by the time her BBD did come along and she gave me the, "we need to have a talk" speech, our relationship was so toxic and dysfunctional that I basically did like Steve O in the video above and said "Okay" and went back to cleaning the pool (figuratively speaking)

But oh boy did I do the "Pick Me!" Dance with the best of them when I thought I would be getting back the girl from the early days of our relationship. 

I thought I would be getting the gourmet meal from the "Before" relationship. But what I got was the pooped out turd that was left over from "After."


----------



## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

oldshirt said:


> The problem there ( and I speak from experience when I went through that with a LTR) is you believe you are losing the hot babe and wonderful girl that loved you and desired you from the previous good times of the relationship.
> 
> What you believe you will be getting back is that same hot babe that loved you and had burning desire for you from the previous good times in the relationship.
> 
> ...


The thing is a lot in those situations don’t look hard or hard enough to get a realistic picture of the person they married. Love is blinding. Some do get it quick. Others it takes awhile to wake up to reality and some never get it.


----------



## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

My sister was a wayward. She cheated became her MIL made her mad. Seriously.

Her H was a decent guy, nothing special but unlike a lot he dumped her immediately.

Her mindset even years later is still wayward. Way too many live in a hopium addiction.


----------



## BURNT KEP (Oct 3, 2012)

If the OM would have wanted my WW it would have made my life much easier I definitely wouldn’t have fought for her.


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Marc878 said:


> The thing is a lot in those situations don’t look hard or hard enough to get a realistic picture of the person they married. Love is blinding. Some do get it quick. Others it takes awhile to wake up to reality and some never get it.


It's a tough challenge. 

I think when faced with serious threat to our relationship, it's natural for our thoughts and memories and emotions to jump back to the good times and think that that is what we will be recovering if we can somehow, "save-the-marriage." We think that will be our future again if we can just shew away the big bad OM. 

But I think in many cases my gourmet meal from before vs smelly turd remaining of it analogy says it best. The tasty meal is gone but the turd remains.


----------



## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Marc878 said:


> Double like. Because there is no button for that. 😂


Yeah they need to do the one where the husband catches her and she talks about what a predators this two guys were and how she didn't know what she was thinking and how pressured she felt. Basically how she wasn't even there at the time and it was someone else.


----------



## ElOtro (Apr 4, 2021)

Although is not at all typical, even in the limited scope of the personal social "networks", I knew three cases related to the questions of the original post.
In some of those situations, the legal status of the marriage of one of the involved were also atypical: when their partners had severe cronic health problems (mostly psychiatric ones) and local laws don´t allow divorce in that conditions but only a formal regulated separation (they don´t necessarilly live together but spousal care and financial responsabilities are still held).
Another factor of my known related stories was the need of avoiding potential tragic reactions of those sometimes unstable ill "spouses" (thechnical ones, while the couple relationship had already ended). 
That made the new relatioships partnere behave near like clandestine lovers (even socially).
At least in one of those cases all ended in a serious intent of suicide of the .... Ex.


----------



## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

oldshirt said:


> I touched on this in another current thread but wanted to toss this out for your experiences and observations and opinions on the matter.
> 
> I believe the vast vast majority of OM get with MW for the easy, no-strings poon and the moment they get caught or the moment the BH arrives on the scene or if it gets the least bit difficult for them, they scatter like roaches in the light.
> 
> ...


Not in my case had the OM tried that he may have ended up horizontal and at room temperature. I think once I busted them he was in fear mode LOL. However, had that happened that night, I likely would have said don’t bother you can have her.


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

No Longer Lonely Husband said:


> Not in my case had the OM tried that he may have ended up horizontal and at room temperature. I think once I busted them he was in fear mode LOL. However, had that happened that night, I likely would have said don’t bother you can have her.


I was hoping that you would chime in on this thread. I can't remember the details of your situation or how everything went down. 

I take it you huffed and puffed and the OM backed down and slinked away. If so, that is not what I am talking about here and your case isn't really applicable. 

As I stated, the vast vast majority of OM will walk away (or run) when busted or confronted. 

What is the unknown here is what would have happened if your OM had stood his ground and been willing to take her fulltime even if you kicked his azz and won the fist fight. 

And I realise it's cool to talk tough here but had you actually killed or severely injured him, good chance you'd been in jail and still wouldn't have really "won."

The thing here is the winner of the fist fight does not always win the girl. Depending on a myriad of factors, the winner of the actual physical fight does not always get the girl. Sometimes she goes goes with the loser of the fight if he still wants her because he has shown he is willing to take a beating for her while the BH gets hauled off to jail and is forever portrayed as "abusive, controlling and violent." 

In today's liberal, feminized world, once the BH kicks the OM's azz in a violent rage, the WW/OM's relationship becomes legitimized because the BH has revealed himself as violent and abusive. 

Which takes me back to my original point that in my experience and observation, when the OM stays in the fight (figuratively as well as literally if it comes to that) the OM walks away with the girl.


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

oldshirt said:


> goes goes with the loser of the fight if he still wants her because he has shown he is willing to take a beating for her while the BH gets hauled off to jail and is forever portrayed as "abusive, controlling and violent."
> 
> In today's liberal, feminized world, once the BH kicks the OM's azz in a violent rage, the WW/OM's relationship becomes legitimized because the BH has revealed himself as violent and abusive.


This above may actually be the more pertinent discussion

How many times do we see the media and society and even friends and family suddenly start supporting the OM/OW when the BS becomes threatening or violent or even just keeping trying to reclaim the relationship = the verbiage suddenly turns to "Stalking" "harrassment" "threatening" "psycho" etc etc 

People may claim they hate APs but the moment the BS tries to actually do something about it, public sentiment suddenly turns sympathetic and supportive of the OM/OW and the BS is portrayed as the villain. 

How many Lifetime movies have portrayed Betty Broderick as the heroine? 

How many times do we hear the term "psycho ex"? How many times is the BS (especially the BH but it does happen with the BW too) suddenly called, "abusive and controlling" when he tries to put a stop to his BW's affair and chase away the OM?

If a gal is seeing an OM and the BH is coming around giving them a hard time, the cops and the court are going to support the OM if that is who the WW is supporting.


----------



## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

oldshirt said:


> I was hoping that you would chime in on this thread. I can't remember the details of your situation or how everything went down.
> 
> I take it you huffed and puffed and the OM backed down and slinked away. If so, that is not what I am talking about here and your case isn't really applicable.
> 
> ...


Hmmm. I do have to say you are correct about had I became violent. I would not have been pretty for POSOM or likely financially for me had I been sued for bodily damage. Honor is paramount with me and being dishonored pisses ol Jon off.

I am not talking tough just factually that even though I was 20 plus years out of the Corps I could not unlearn what I was trained to do if we went hand to hand. My attorney forwarned me of that.so when I busted them at her company open house I handed her my wine glass and said “enjoy your evening with POSOM.” I told POSOM “she’s all yours”. I walked away as I was well prepped by my legal counsel beforehand to be wise and protect my assets.

However my FWW was not enamored of him to that degree she would leave me for him, but had she done so and chosen him I would have continued down the path of my initial scorched earth no prisoners approach. She knew when I burned our heirloom bed Hondo was going for the jugular so to speak.

I am just thankful the ship was righted and all is well now.

Sometimes a little shock n awe works well.


----------



## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

Who cares? 
If a WW doesn’t immediately (or very quickly) choose her husband over OM and make the choice to try to save her marriage (regardless of what OM may or may not do), no reconciliation should be considered anyway. So what difference does it make?


----------



## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

While I won't say it's true in all cases, there does seem to be some "man code" when it comes to effing other men's women...Women, on the other hand don't honor other women's code, and in fact, seem to prey on MM and consider stealing another woman's man a big win...

A BIG part is the threat of physical violence from one man to another...Plus, like I said, I just don't think guys do that all that much(hence the "code")...Married guys seem to cheat more with divorced and single women...IME anyway...As stressful as it can be to be in that type of relationship, no guy wants to have the additional worry of a baseball bat over the skull...

That situation in the other thread referenced by the OP is very rare.....I don't know what the full dynamic is there, but it's not something you would ever see that often...


----------



## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

I just read the title and thought "LET HIM HAVE HER." and move on


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

oldshirt said:


> I touched on this in another current thread but wanted to toss this out for your experiences and observations and opinions on the matter.
> 
> I believe the vast vast majority of OM get with MW for the easy, no-strings poon and the moment they get caught or the moment the BH arrives on the scene or if it gets the least bit difficult for them, they scatter like roaches in the light.
> 
> ...


Well my WH was allegedly confronted by the BH and did nothing. Left the place. And that is not like him at all, this is a guy who caused a ruckus when he saw a man eyeball me across a room. So your theory stands.

Also, after I caught them my WH could have taken her on as a real partner, but you are 100% on the fact he wanted zero of her baggage and ended up ghosting her without even having to. And yes she would have left her husband in a millisecond had he said the word.

I know of one other couple (an acquaintance) who the wife left for her affair partner, and when she found out who the guy really was and it wasn’t as wonderful as she’d hoped, went back to the BH. And yes he did take her back. But they were both cheating off and on for years. So I’m not sure that really counts.

I actually can’t think of one situation where the WH actually left for his AP, most of them were dumped by the BW and took the AP as a consolation prize, but even then refused to marry her.


----------



## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

My ex-H was shocked that I would suggest our divorce would mean he could finally marry his AP (who had gone through two marriages during their very long off/on (or maybe never really off) relationship). He wanted no part of that. Instead he scurried off to someone new who had been married at least four times. I remember a phone call (that was explained away) from the OBS to my ex-H a couple of years before I found out they were still involved but we lived several states apart at that point and unfortunately he didn’t show up on our doorstep. The story at the time was that they were getting a divorce and my ex-H was “counseling” her and her husband didn’t approve. Yeah. I bet he didn’t. What I‘ve always wished was that the OBS had dealt some serious consequences to my ex-H for interferring in their marriage. I wouldn’t have minded dealing some serious consequences to her too.


----------



## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

I have seen the waywards end up with their affair partner, and one was a full court press. In that case the marriage was on life support, and the wayward deserved what he got in the end. My favorites, however, are the reverse of that situation. This was a two year workplace affair. Apparently they made promises that if it was uncovered they would run to one another. My client had a PI. He got the full package inclusive of audio recordings, no tell motel bills and transcripts of in car conversations and texts. On Dday my client confronted. Her first line of defense was that her and the AP had promised that if they were found out they would end up together. He challenged her to call the AP and tell him that it was discovered. The call began with her acting entitled as hell. My client listened in. He watched his wife's face go from happy, to neutral, to horrified. He heard AP tell her that he loved his wife, and that the sex was real nice, and he said stuff so that she would do more in the sack. He begged her not to tell her husband who he was. As my client's wife is quietly having a mental breakdown, he informs AP that this conversation has been recorded and that his wife and mother had been informed a minute before this call was made. My client assured AP that his life as he knew it was over. AP disappeared for a long time. Meanwhile, my client is watching his wife cycle through the gamut of emotions, all bad. He finalized his conversation with his STBX as follows: You listened to a liar and you have now lost. She kept saying that she was swindled. Too bad, so sad, you lose. She allowed the D to proceed without a hiccup. She begged and pleaded for him to reconsider, but too damn late. She gets to watch her ex with one of her former girlfriends. It has been five years since I handled this, and AP's wife's family eviscerated him. He will be paying til he is very old and very gray. My client has married the girlfriend and they have a little girl. WW is now living with a guy. She looks ten years older and stays out of the part of the city where her ex lives. She does not need to see the life she flushed.


----------



## colingrant (Nov 6, 2017)

I told my fiancé I had already competed, won, and I wasn't participating in a re-compete, so the other guy can go unchallenged. I told her I was not going dignify a competition that should not even exist. I preserved my dignity BIG TIME. In the two times I was cheated on, the moment I dropped out of the so-called competition is when I felt better for not being dictated and instead did the dictating. 

Interestingly and not by design, four months later she's the one willing to compete against other women to reconcile. She said she'd accept me dating, and asked that I don't get married on her. I wasn't interested. I just wanted one girlfriend who was faithful. Long story short. My ex-fiancés worst case scenario happened. I met my current wife 9 months after DD and 5-6 months after she sought to reconcile. 

I ended up obtaining a restraining order to protect me and my girlfriend from harassment. When a detective contacted my x-fiancé over the phone everything ended immediately as my x had just taken the bar exam and any inquiry or investigation could derail her career before it even started.


----------



## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

The countless threads I’ve read of WWs tells me that the great majority of them would leave their BH even when there are small kids if the OM is willing to have them. Of course most men are in it for the free wanton sex. Where can a man meet single women that are willing to sex a guy up so intensely for cheap compliments? 

Reading the OW section of LS should be required reading for every BH. It is sobering to read the real thoughts of a WW. These women will pine away for their OM for years; leaving hardly anything left in their emotional tank for the BH and kids.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

oldshirt said:


> I touched on this in another current thread but wanted to toss this out for your experiences and observations and opinions on the matter.
> 
> I believe the vast vast majority of OM get with MW for the easy, no-strings poon and the moment they get caught or the moment the BH arrives on the scene or if it gets the least bit difficult for them, they scatter like roaches in the light.
> 
> ...


The one instance I was privy to, this was the case. The two men knew each other and I knew both of the men very well. The wife in question was the psycho 2nd wife of the husband, who I had dated at one point and then worked with after that. I still know him today. 

The other man (never before married) and I hung out and were friends, but I knew he had a bad streak but didn't realize until he went after the husband's wife how bad. I did know he was vengeful about work stuff. I had also worked briefly with him and he had come from the husband's company, though they didn't work in the same location. While I was dating the husband was when he was divorcing his first (high school) wife, her idea, and the other man was right up in all that business and would tell me what he knew, like if he knew the guy I was dating was sleeping around. He would talk to the first wife as well, and it did always seem he was like a really nosy person looking for info and meddling. He told me stuff and I'm sure he told them stuff too. He would get right into their business. 

He tried to pick a fight with the original owner of the company when he was in town because he had apparently been fired for something. That was my first clue he had a bad temper. Otherwise, he was very personable and very good looking, and he was not generally promiscuous like he could have been. Considering the time and his looks, he was pretty restrained. 

I think he was revenge motivated to some extent. The husband on the other hand is a simple enough guy who never suspected that even though over the years I warned him about it and especially after I found out at a function where all of us were there that the wife was openly cheating with the other guy. I remember the other guy came up to me and told me, basically, in a sentence he was with her, and I said, "What the F are doing??" And then I went to the nearby table of the husband and we went outside to the car and talked and then over to my place and were up half the night talking about it. 

I knew already his wife was cheating or something because the husband had come into work with a shiner some time earlier, and I made him spill it. At that time, he said that was her that gave him the shiner. He said she'd been running up his credit card leasing a hot tub with another guy. I don't know if he knew who it was yet. 

So it was all very shocking. And Husband was DONE with her. It had been apparent to me from the beginning that she was no good and a psycho and a manipulator, one of those attention-seekers who at every party would be literally leaning on husband's best friend's shoulder literally crying and who hated all other women. 

The other man married her straightaway and knocked her up. At the next public function, he came up and told me he would no longer be allowed to talk to me because the WW wouldn't let him talk to any other women. I said, "I can't believe you're marrying that psycho," and that was the last I talked to him ever. 

Oddly, the original husband, the BH, still talks to the other man from time to time. He just can't stop himself from being cordial to people. I think he's nuts. In fact, the BH's cousin is who cuts the other man's hair all these years and still the psycho wife as well. 

A few years ago now, the original husband told me the WW had done credit card and identify fraud on both the other man, now husband, and their offspring, and gotten in trouble with the law. I was laughing my a** off at that. Jeez, people should listen to me when I tell them someone is psycho. 

So then the other man was asking about ME again. I told the original husband I could never trust him now and wouldn't like to have any connection whatever to the psycho ex. But to be honest, I did mourn the loss of the friendship. We actually spent some fun times together, and he helped me out with an issue with a predator once, but my loyalty was with the BH. And then the other man turned out to be so conniving for a man. 

But I will say at least finding out she was cheating was all it took to basically make the original husband fall out of love with her. He was done. And I bet he was still cordial to her on the occasions they stumbled on each other.


----------



## Dictum Veritas (Oct 22, 2020)

Taxman said:


> I have seen the waywards end up with their affair partner, and one was a full court press. In that case the marriage was on life support, and the wayward deserved what he got in the end. My favorites, however, are the reverse of that situation. This was a two year workplace affair. Apparently they made promises that if it was uncovered they would run to one another. My client had a PI. He got the full package inclusive of audio recordings, no tell motel bills and transcripts of in car conversations and texts. On Dday my client confronted. Her first line of defense was that her and the AP had promised that if they were found out they would end up together. He challenged her to call the AP and tell him that it was discovered. The call began with her acting entitled as hell. My client listened in. He watched his wife's face go from happy, to neutral, to horrified. He heard AP tell her that he loved his wife, and that the sex was real nice, and he said stuff so that she would do more in the sack. He begged her not to tell her husband who he was. As my client's wife is quietly having a mental breakdown, he informs AP that this conversation has been recorded and that his wife and mother had been informed a minute before this call was made. My client assured AP that his life as he knew it was over. AP disappeared for a long time. Meanwhile, my client is watching his wife cycle through the gamut of emotions, all bad. He finalized his conversation with his STBX as follows: You listened to a liar and you have now lost. She kept saying that she was swindled. Too bad, so sad, you lose. She allowed the D to proceed without a hiccup. She begged and pleaded for him to reconsider, but too damn late. She gets to watch her ex with one of her former girlfriends. It has been five years since I handled this, and AP's wife's family eviscerated him. He will be paying til he is very old and very gray. My client has married the girlfriend and they have a little girl. WW is now living with a guy. She looks ten years older and stays out of the part of the city where her ex lives. She does not need to see the life she flushed.


Taxman, you should write a book, I'd buy it. Heck I'd buy a copy for both my daughters as a warning from a father as to how to not conduct yourself. Obviously my wife will also receive it as a "light read".


----------



## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

DV I was sitting with my kid this weekend. He knows a lot of the stories and is quite concerned that I could get into serious troubles. Several of my people require absolute confidentiality.


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

jsmart said:


> The countless threads I’ve read of WWs tells me that the great majority of them would leave their BH even when there are small kids if the OM is willing to have them. Of course most men are in it for the free wanton sex. Where can a man meet single women that are willing to sex a guy up so intensely for cheap compliments?
> 
> Reading the OW section of LS should be required reading for every BH. It is sobering to read the real thoughts of a WW. These women will pine away for their OM for years; leaving hardly anything left in their emotional tank for the BH and kids.


Great post!! 👍 

This is right on the money on a number of things. 

This is almost another topic for a different thread, but I completely agree with your statement about single women vs married women. 

In my mid-upper 20s I struggled with single women. But I had various married women showing up at my door at night or even the middle of the day while supposedly out “shopping.”

Married women were actually easier and asked much less and were much less inhibited and more passionate in bed. 

When a married woman shows up at your door and drops her clothes on your bedroom floor, there is no facade or pretense that she is any kind of Good Girl.” Her hand has been revealed at that point so might as well play it to the fullest. 

And frankly there was no guise of me being a ‘Nice Guy’ at that point either so I suppose I did not pretend to be an kind of good, church boy either. 

And you are also correct about the OW forum on LS. It should be required reading of all BHs before they even consider reconciling with a WW. 

By the time pants get unzipped or skirts lifted up......... well, you get the point.


----------



## marko polo (Jan 26, 2021)

*A wayward spouse is not worth fighting for, ever.* Broken trust will always be just that - broken. Be smart and let the OM have your 2nd hand spouse.

Why waste additional time and effort on an individual that has already proven they are unworthy? Allow someone new to prove their worth if you choose.

When I learned my wife had replaced me I didn't react or let on I knew she was with someone else. 

I took a very hard look at what I had left to "lose" by choosing to part ways. My assessment of her was unflattering. This is why I never bothered to confront her about her affair. She had lost any and all appeal and value in my eyes. She simply was not worth the effort. 

We were separated by her design. No contact was easy to implement. When I was ready to act I blindsided her with the divorce. 20 years later I have no regrets aside from I married her in the first place. Her take away value - I knew what I wanted out of a woman and what I would not tolerate going forward.

My ex-wife ended up remarried to her AP. Still together I think. I am grateful he was so willing to take used, low quality goods off my hands.


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

oldshirt said:


> Great post!! 👍
> 
> This is right on the money on a number of things.
> 
> ...


This has probably been said many times... but what is LS? I’m sure we can’t spell it out because of forum rules... maybe the Google will help me.


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

QuietRiot said:


> This has probably been said many times... but what is LS? I’m sure we can’t spell it out because of forum rules... maybe the Google will help me.


A forum called Love Shack. I don’t know if it is even still out there.


----------



## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

No ho is worth going to jail for. So, I don't really don't see any good reason to beat down a guy for banging your wife when she wanted it. You are just hurting yourself, you will be locked up while the two of them will be screwing their brains out on your marital bed. Besides, beating down the guy just makes it look like your competing for her sloppy seconds. 

It's much more humiliating to drag your old lady inside your car and drop her off in OMs driveway and have him deal with her ****.

Really the only reason to beat down some dude for screwing your wife is if he raped her. Thats a whole other matter, but I wonder how many WWs have employed that lie? Probably about as many OMs that actually fight for the WW.


----------



## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

OM fighting for another man's wife?
sounds like an excellent way to get shot!


----------



## ElOtro (Apr 4, 2021)

Talker67 said:


> OM fighting for another man's wife?
> sounds like an excellent way to get shot!


And even if it is, it happens sometimes.


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

OM fighting for a WW?

Who cares? Sounds like a quick and painless way for a BH to make his WW a STBX.

Embrace the fog, gents.


----------



## hinterdir (Apr 17, 2018)

oldshirt said:


> I touched on this in another current thread but wanted to toss this out for your experiences and observations and opinions on the matter.
> 
> I believe the vast vast majority of OM get with MW for the easy, no-strings poon and the moment they get caught or the moment the BH arrives on the scene or if it gets the least bit difficult for them, they scatter like roaches in the light.
> 
> ...


If she cheated....I am done with her.
I would never stay with a woman who had sex with another man.
God himself could come down and testify that she would never cheat again and would be the most loving loyal spouse I could imagine for the next 40 years.....I couldn't care less....she had sex with someone else......I will never be with her again. She is dead to me. I couldn't care less about her or the other man.


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

hinterdir said:


> If she cheated....I am done with her.
> I would never stay with a woman who had sex with another man.
> God himself could come down and testify that she would never cheat again and would be the most loving loyal spouse I could imagine for the next 40 years.....I couldn't care less....she had sex with someone else......I will never be with her again. She is dead to me. I couldn't care less about her or the other man.


Exactly. I would not allow myself to remain. The demand for justice is too great to me. She could go be with her crippled OM. 😏


----------

