# Just double checking - need input from the guys



## mommy2 (Oct 27, 2009)

I have a question for the guys out there. I have asked my hubby this already and he said he is absolutely fine with this. I guess I just want to be sure. :scratchhead:

I can't orgasm with just intercourse alone - not one of the lucky ones. (my H assures me that's completely normal, most woman can't) I sometimes feel "less" of a woman because of this. I can while we are having sex if we use a "toy" for clitoral stimulation. Which is great if we are doing a bend over the pool table quickie! 

Usually though - I prefer to just enjoy sex with my H. Then afterwards, we get my toy and I orgasm in his arms while he is caressing me, fondling me, etc. I swear - just him touching me sends me over the moon in just seconds sometimes. 

So, my question is - would you be okay with that? I don't want him to a)think less of me as a woman because of this or b)feel less of a man because he can't get me to during intercourse or c)just annoyed that he has to do that afterwards! For the record - we don't do that all the time. Sometimes I am completely fine with just snuggling and going to sleep after sex, no orgasm for me. It's just I get so excited and enjoy having sex with him, I like to have the "complete" experience. 

Ladies - if you're like this too - I'd love to hear your input too! (oh I can orgasm from oral too. Just takes longer than with the toy)


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## gregj123 (Dec 29, 2010)

Always had to O my wife first with hands or oral she could not either, I hear 75% of woman cant.


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

I guess my wife and I are lucky. She can orgasm from intercourse, oral, and toys. Usually, she has her best and strongest orgasms with w combo of oral, then oral/toy, then intercourse/toy.
We've also discovered thatif she has an orgasm from oral alone (which I love to do and will do for as long as she'll let me), she can almost always have a second O from intercourse/toy combo.

So no, I have no problems doing whatever it takes with whatever it takes to make sure that my wife has the best sexual experience possible every time. Also, sometimes she can tell that she isn't going to come, but still enjoys making love very much to see my eyes roll back in my head.

I am a lucky man!:smthumbup:


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## Just1Man (Dec 9, 2010)

If it works for you then go with it. I think that is totally sexy that you pleasure yourself and he can hold you and watch you do it. I'm getting excited just thinking of my wife doing that  !! I don't know a lot but I know this. Females are very mental with sex. It is much harder for a man to shut himself down with a thought. Most men can't imagine that they could prevent themselves from having an orgasm just by getting lost in the moment and not thinking about having one. Just relax and enjoy your time together. My wife and I are doing well with our sex life lately cause she has gotten over some personal issues and is learning to just relax and enjoy. It is that simple. Leave the messed up world outside and enjoy your husband and your time with him. That is all a good man wants.


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## LonelyNLost (Dec 11, 2010)

I'm one of the lucky ones, but my husband is excellent at foreplay. He's always trying new things out, but nothing too kinky. And never any toys. YET!

Just a question, does he get you off before you have intercourse? I think it helps things along. We touch and kiss and caress each other before hand, and then he just waits for me to have one and then it's on. I usually will have a g-spot orgasm pretty quickly, to which he slows down so that he can last. Then he makes sure I have another one so that we finish at the same time. He'll rub me during or I'll rub myself (which he loves). Then it's finish time and we both get a happy ending. 

I'm not a man in this situation, but you'll have to ask him if it bothers him. My H would not give up. And we've found our groove. He was of the mind that it wasn't the woman, it was that the man hadn't found a way to give her that pleasure in that way. Not sure if he's right. And I've only ever had one other partner, and that was a disaster. You are lucky that he cares enough to make sure you orgasm. That's key. My man is all about making sure I'm satisfied.


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## Just1Man (Dec 9, 2010)

Also... This might be a fun experiment. Start out by pleasuring yourself with your husband in the ready position for sex. I don't think he would mind watching you !!! Anyway when you are beginning to have your orgasm and it is starting with no turning back you husband would "start" and have sex with you through your orgasm. I do this with my wife and oral. When she is at the beginning or the peak of her orgasm (from oral) I jump up and we have sex through it. Very exciting !!! She will just lay there after on the verge of passing out. Very happy look on her face !!


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## Draguna (Jan 13, 2011)

Don't worry about how they are caused as a woman. Just like a man should not as well. Quite a lot of women need some clitoral stimulus to be able to orgasm from g-spot stimulation, even when done manually. Toys might help in that regard though.

You could ask him to make you come beforehand btw, or even during. There is no problem in stopping and just pleasuring your lover and then continuing. I like making my gf come multiple times during intercourse through clitoral stimulation and she appreciates it very much.


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## mommy2 (Oct 27, 2009)

Oh we've taken care of me first many times also. My H loves that too - he likes me SO wet. It's a huge turn on for him. 

He will gladly offer to stimulate me during intercourse but most times - I would much rather just enjoy sex with him. Not concentrating on trying to have an O. I would rather just wait until after or just not at all. Afterward - it's not just me - he helps! :smthumbup:

For me, I guess, I would just rather have sex with him and get the O before or after. During I like to just enjoy him!


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

M2,
For a "typical" male - by far and away the single most important driver of how HE feels, is whether or not YOU truly desire him. Everything else is a distant second. Because when a W truly desires her mate - deep inside - it makes his "DNA" sing. 

I am the H in a marriage that is similar to yours. I accepted this without any frustration from the beginning. I know my W craves my touch and likes sex with me. As for reaching the rapture - not possible via intercourse. 

Now my W is painfully - nay - she is brutally honest. So when she tells me she was never able to "get there" via intercourse with previous partners I believe her. But either way - she is very "into" me and I am very into her. The actual "route" to the rapture is not so important. 




mommy2 said:


> I have a question for the guys out there. I have asked my hubby this already and he said he is absolutely fine with this. I guess I just want to be sure. :scratchhead:
> 
> I can't orgasm with just intercourse alone - not one of the lucky ones. (my H assures me that's completely normal, most woman can't) I sometimes feel "less" of a woman because of this. I can while we are having sex if we use a "toy" for clitoral stimulation. Which is great if we are doing a bend over the pool table quickie!
> 
> ...


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## Ernst (Jan 12, 2011)

I would be OK. In very few instances my wife has a vaginal orgasm therefore I climax her by fondling etc.


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## Draguna (Jan 13, 2011)

mommy2 said:


> Oh we've taken care of me first many times also. My H loves that too - he likes me SO wet. It's a huge turn on for him.
> 
> He will gladly offer to stimulate me during intercourse but most times - I would much rather just enjoy sex with him. Not concentrating on trying to have an O. I would rather just wait until after or just not at all. Afterward - it's not just me - he helps! :smthumbup:
> 
> For me, I guess, I would just rather have sex with him and get the O before or after. During I like to just enjoy him!


Have to say, I like, you, a woman who knows what she likes and wants. Always a pleasure to see :smthumbup:


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## LSU Fan (Dec 31, 2010)

I wish my W could orgasm from just intercourse but that is a rare thing. I do love watching her use her toy or pleasure herself before or after sex, or I perform oral sex on her to orgasm. I actually prefer her to orgasm first because that makes her more sensitive during intercourse and that is fun too. I don't think less of her or me, I just think it is another way men and women are different, but I do believe that a good man will be willing to help, cuddle, caress, kiss, fondle, whatever to help her reach orgasm. It is definitely a bonding thing for us.


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## lucky_guy (Jan 23, 2011)

This is just my 2c. First; relax. Second; relax 

The object is to express love and affection between you. So what if an orgasm can't be genereated from intercourse? Who ever said it had to?

My wife feels that if we remove the focus on penetration from the proceedings, things can become a lot more fun and enjoyable. And I absolutely agree with her ;-) 

To be honest, I am more concerned with my wife's enjoyment and fulfillment than on an assumption that an orgasm has to (or should only) come from intercourse. And for us its waaaaay more fun having put that assumption aside. 

Have fun -- that's what its supposed to be, right?


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

My wife asked me 2 nights ago when I was collecting rent (that's what she calls it now lol), what I got out of sex? I told her it was enjoyable and that it was a show of affection between the 2 of us.

She kept pushing it so I said fine, gimme a few minutes and I'll answer the question. 3 minutes in, she's all out moaning with her eyes closed and I tried to talk to her about what I got out of sex. She told me to shut it and just keep on going.....

Wonder if I ever answered her question?


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

When your husband tells you that he likes sex with you he is being truthful. A huge turn off to your husband is to take his words and decide they are not true. It's like when you call yourself fat and your husband says you are just fine to him. That's a big turn off.


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## tattoomommy (Aug 14, 2009)

Just1Man said:


> Also... This might be a fun experiment. Start out by pleasuring yourself with your husband in the ready position for sex. I don't think he would mind watching you !!! Anyway when you are beginning to have your orgasm and it is starting with no turning back you husband would "start" and have sex with you through your orgasm. I do this with my wife and oral. When she is at the beginning or the peak of her orgasm (from oral) I jump up and we have sex through it. Very exciting !!! She will just lay there after on the verge of passing out. Very happy look on her face !!


:smthumbup::smthumbup::smthumbup: My H does that and it's THE BEST!!! Especially when it was such a huge one that the littlest touch makes me convulse all over lol. Great idea!


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## DudleyD (Jan 25, 2011)

I didn't read the entire thread so I may not be the first to mention this but the title of this thread "Need input from the guys" made me chuckle.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Alll good suggestions. .. but you may want to both investigate Tantric Sex as an option, as the goal of Tantric Sex is to go for "depth" of sexual experience vs. "breadth" (partners, kink, etc.).

You may just need one operative factor - time. Some women can pop their cork pretty quick.

In Tantric Sex, the guy practices (and it's fun to practice and he won't always succeed) lengthening the sexual experience for the woman. For instance, a technique is for you to be on all fours and he enters you, withdraws, enters you slowly and methodically - this actually causes the penis to swell more and further harden (which adds pleasure for you) and the withdrawing delays climax. 

Meanwhile, you manually stimulate yourself over and over again to the Big O (sometimes multiple times).

It's more than a collection of "techniques" though, it's about increasing the sensual experience of sex and communicating what you need. IT's almost a philosophy that sex is about health. So. . .I think what you are posting is almost like you feel you ARE missing something for your health.

Maybe start with 1x/month of spreading out a few blankets on the floor and trying it. Get a few books or videos.

I want my next girlfriend to try this or it's actually a dealbreaker for me. If I am going to be committed, than I want depth for my sexual experience.


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