# I think Im in love with someone thats not my wife



## Lostsoul101 (Jul 25, 2010)

Im in the military and my wife is far away for a few more months. Ive been spending alot of time with another woman whos husband is very far away for a few more months. I think Im in love with this woman and I think shes in love with me. We havent had any physical contact but the signs are pretty clear. The problem is I still love my wife and I dont want to hurt her or ruin our relationship. I dont know what to do Ive never been in love with two women at once. Part of me wants to throw it all away for this new woman but the other part of me says I should stop talking to this new woman. Im so confused.


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## Lostsoul101 (Jul 25, 2010)

Please someone reply, I dont need an exper opinion just any opinion might help me figure this out


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## lbell629 (May 10, 2010)

You may not be in love, but rather experiencing infatuation. She's new, different, exciting. You are in the stages of an emotional affair. What you need to do is cut off all contact with this other woman. Just remember that the grass is not greener on the other side.


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## iamnottheonlyone (May 9, 2010)

You love your wife. You made a vow. Are you a man of your word? Be a man and not a teenage boy. Take control of your emotions and do the right thing. Are you a mature adult? What if she did this to you? What if she is doing it right now? Stop this now or you will experience some very ugly moments and likely cause great pain to your wife and yourself. You can not imagine, truly, the pain you will cause your wife. Is this the person you want to be known as? So besides the harm that you will cause your wife, your reputation will suffer immensely. Then the affair will be over and you will be left with nothing. It doesn't take much to walk away. No contact!!


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## Wisp (Jul 17, 2010)

*Infatuation* a word that describes that you are on a course to destroy the goodness in your marriage and hers. Step back, think with your head and do not under any circumstances enter into an Emotional or Physical affair, they are soul destroying. Just read the board for those who have been there and are the victims thereof.


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## Lostsoul101 (Jul 25, 2010)

Thankyou for the wise words. I would never cheat on my wife. Im considering a relationship with this new woman and she told me this morning that she wants to divorce her husband for me, What now?


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## Wisp (Jul 17, 2010)

She now thinks you love her. 

This a red flag.. alarm bells. this is an emotional affair for both of you. 

Be very clear to her that you will not *enter into an affair *and you *value your marriage* highly.

If she needs help with her marriage direct her to marriagebuilders.com but do not give her a shoulder to lean or suppport her in any way. Main message is DROP HER make it clear, she will not like you after that but these things happen. 

Please stop playing her *"Im considering a relationship with this new woman"*

You need to sort out *your marraige*, stop comparing notes and dissing your own relationships.

Few if any affair partners make it together after they destroy their marriages.

Do not weaken.


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## jessi (Feb 11, 2009)

You need to think about your wife and what this would do to her, are you prepared for this and all the pain you will inflict on her......Is this okay with you........
Maybe you really aren't in love with your wife if this is what you can do while she is not around.....it doesn't sound like love to me......
Maybe she is better off without someone that can treat her like this.....
You had no business spending time with another woman.....very selfish on your part.....
If you really cared about your wife you wouldn't be in this position would you....
You need to think about who you are and what you are capable of....maybe you need to tell your wife so she can decide if she even wants to stay with a man that can deceive her.....don't you at least owe her that......if you love her at all.......
It should be her choice not yours......
sorry so blunt, but how dare you even get yourself to this point.......you took a vow with a woman you said you loved now you will hurt her more than you will know.............


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

If you do decide to leave your wife, do you really think there will be any trust between you and your new love interest? You two started getting inappropriate behind your spouses backs. Are you gonna trust her when she is very far away from you? Is she gonna trust you? Not likely. Like said above, drop her and start reading some of the sites recommended on this place to work on your marriage.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

If I were in your shoes ... once the ink was dry on a rather messy divorce, I would look at my partner and think "How can I trust someone who would just ditch one for another?" Then I would look at myself and say "How can she?" Don't make this foolish mistake.


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