# Email from ex MIL



## Welsh TXN (Feb 4, 2012)

So out of the blue my exMIL emails my sister after I moved out and nearly a year after the divorce, 
The reasons for this email I don't understand she told my sister how sad she was the marriage ended and that she and her daughter both cried in the court room and that it was like losing a son and that I had sad many bad things about her daughter for the damage to ever be repaired etc. I was blaming the divorce on a inconcievable affair (which I found out was true) and I was blaming the fact that having my exW youngest brother living with us from may of 2011 through December of 2011 as an excuse for marital breakdown not the affair. She then went on to say that everyone in the family missed me being around especially the teenage son. 

I was a little bit shocked at this because I have had NC after the divorce proceeding start except one day when I met my exFIL at a conference and he was very very upset and was deeply saddened by the whole situation, from a mans point of view when he had his hand on my shoulder I saw in his eyes that he was deeply ashamed of his daughter. The way she had gone about the affair and the divorce and seeing the OM in a small community. 

And now the EXW and the OM are now in a relationship together in that small community. I moved found out who were my real friends and have started a new life I have met someone and we are taking it slow and have talked about the past my exW I wanted to be upfront and for her to know what she was getting with me, anyways the email really baffles me thoughts?
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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

Maybe things are not so rosy with ex-wife & POSOM as you suppose.
Maybe ex-inlaws don't like POSOM who is now daughter's bf.
Maybe ex-wife has heard you moved on and is boo-hooing to Mommy.
Maybe more than just your marriage BLEW-UP with her affair; sounds like a LOT of family relations are strained:

ex-FIL & ex-wife
ex-FIL & ex-MIL (if she won't acknowledge the affair and he does)
ex-stepson & ex-wife (if he blames affair for you leaving)

I wouldn't worry about it if I were you; just keep moving forward.
I would recommend your sister NOT answer ex-MIL's email.
I would recommend your sister block ALL emails from anyone in your ex-wife's family. There is nothing you need to hear about; even when your FIL (whom you seem to love/respect) dies, you will NOT be welcome at the funeral so there is NO POINT in them ever having contact with you again.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Who knows what prompted the letter?

Just don't reply
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## Welsh TXN (Feb 4, 2012)

I told my sister to not reply as we are nolonger part of her life and i dont want anything to do with my Ex MIL and i dont want her knowing about my families life or my life, my sister was great about this and has stuck to her word the ex MIL has emailed her again to updated her on the ex in laws life but my sister again did not reply i hope my Ex MIL gets the message.


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## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

YEP. Getting away from those people was a perk in my life.
Open your heart and your house to one of the inlaws, and then you see what happens... It was my MIL that I had moved in time and time again... She sure didnt have a whole lot to say about her own daughter being a cheating *****..kind of lackluster and nonchalant.. the useless woman...


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## Welsh TXN (Feb 4, 2012)

My EX mil defended her daughter with gusto saying that her daughter would never break her marriage vows even told my friends I was crazy and being horrible about her daughter this is after I opened my home to her teenage son to live with us because the exW parents home was being remodeled which was to take 3 months which turned into 8-9months my food bill went up as he was is an athlete of 15-16 years of age my water bill electricity etc and all I got was her saying I was being unreasonable to say a 15 in he next from in a small house with paper thin walls should not have killed my sex drive with my ex wife lol anyways that's all in the past and I am moving forward leaps and bounds
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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

Why don't you suggest that your sister take your ex-MIL's email address OUT of her "contacts" list; that would make your ex-MIL's email address a "junk" email address that your computer would not recognize. Your sister could then just delete the email 'unread' with the rest of the junk.


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## Garry2012 (Oct 5, 2012)

The old saying "you dont know what you got until its gone" comes to mind. I am in a VERY similiar situation where i have showed my exmil what she was doing, didnt want to be married, wants to be free and is having an affair. She refuses to not protect her daughter. She just told me two days ago that the whole divorce was my fault. They have to demonize you to make their actions seem justified.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

I had wonderful ex in-laws for 25 years. We were close. After the divorce I disconnected as I couldn't have the "energy" from my old life blend into my new life. It's hard to explain.

I still love them and they love me. I see them once a year at my ex sister in laws. We genuinely care for each other but having a relationship in which we see/talk frequently probably won't happen.

They supported me and were displeased with my ex/their son when he asked for the divorce. What could they do?

I don't know your whole story. If they were caring before than they are caring now. However, do what you feel is comfortable for you. There is no obligation.


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## Welsh TXN (Feb 4, 2012)

Corpuswife said:


> I had wonderful ex in-laws for 25 years. We were close. After the divorce I disconnected as I couldn't have the "energy" from my old life blend into my new life. It's hard to explain.
> 
> I still love them and they love me. I see them once a year at my ex sister in laws. We genuinely care for each other but having a relationship in which we see/talk frequently probably won't happen.
> 
> ...


There is no obligation as we had no kids, and all our stuff was divided up 2 days after I moved out (it was a trail separation lol she was so deep in the fog and did not want marriage anymore, my crazy exMIL even said that my neighbors who told me about the other guy turning up at 10pm and leaving by 6am were crazy and they didn't like my exwife that's why they were lying) by my ex wife, my exMIL still talks about me I hear from friends in the small town that I used to live, but I let it go, I think this is a little sadistic but I left with the clothes on my back my clothes out of the closet and my hunting/fishing stuff and my tools that was it except a box spring and mattress and started over again, I left everything else because I knew she would start a relationship with him and have him over all the time, so I want him to know the plates he's eating off the sheets he sleeps in the couches he sits everything in that house was there in the marriage that they decided to destroy, I don't know if be does but it was nice to think about that at the time, I have come along way, and starting all over again was hard but sure made me a stronger person. 

My exFIL cared more that then exMIL saw him about 3 months after at a work conference we are both in the same industry, I did not seek him out he sought me out came up to me placed his hand on my shoulder and said I'm sorry, and he had a look that said I know what she did and I hate her for it but she's blood. He was a rock and a good sounding board through out the short marriage and the relationship, I spoke to him when I found she left for the weekend and ended up at this POSOMs place, he said to me you have two choices work on it, or let her decide what she wants you will not be able to change her mind if she's left the marriage. 

But as I have said hey hoe life goes on and I have progressed and people have told me she hasn't still after a year of divorced life they are sneaking around not going out in public on there own etc it amazes me and I know I could not live like that.
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## dusty4 (May 8, 2013)

Welsh TXN said:


> My exFIL cared more that then exMIL saw him about 3 months after at a work conference we are both in the same industry, I did not seek him out he sought me out came up to me placed his hand on my shoulder and said I'm sorry, and he had a look that said I know what she did and I hate her for it but she's blood.



Yup, he has to support his daughter. But I can't imagine the disappointment a father must feel to know his little girl is a cheating huss.

Just enjoy your new life. She F'd up and lost a good man.




> I spoke to him when I found she left for the weekend and ended up at this POSOMs place, he said to me you have two choices work on it, or let her decide what she wants


No, he left out the third option. And that is YOU get to decide what YOU want. What you wanted matters too, but of course he wouldn't want to give you that option as you just might decide to leave his little girl. Mind you, not ragging on him, I know he probably wanted nothing more than for you to stay with her.

Again, enjoy your new life away from the huss.


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## Welsh TXN (Feb 4, 2012)

Dusty4 

Yes the POSOM is now in his life presently and through the grapevine cos I still have friends who work in the company that my EXFIL and exWW work for that there is distinct tension still between her and her dad and the POSOM is causing a lot of it due to he might be leaving the state for a new job and I heard the tension level has increased, it would not surprise me if the exWW ups and leaves because of the stress level she's under also I think she might have got into a new life style of swinging with the new man because another friend saw her the OM and another couple all checking into one hotel room with no bags around 10pm lol in the small town they live in they forget things travel like wild fire in a small town I hope that one gets back to her family lol being the good chatholics they are lol
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## dusty4 (May 8, 2013)

You are dodging a bullet. You are free from that bs. Let her be other mens' problem.

Sooner or later she'll contract HIV


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## Welsh TXN (Feb 4, 2012)

Absolutely glad I'm out of the toxic situation
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