# When sex urges are too hard to deal with.



## lonesomegra (Dec 11, 2011)

I have been compromising greatly over the last number of months and mostly letting my wife have sex only when she is setting the tone. Yesterday I fell into the trap of begging for sex. As per normal I had my normal failure to ejaculate when we tried intercourse tonight

My main problem is we reached her point of being hot and heavy and then she became tired and her thighs got to the point of being 'stuck to me' - her words. We take a break. The momentum is lost. Her desire fades while mine is absolutely raging. 

What I want to do disgusts her. This I know so I don't bring it up. I chat to her to 'talk myself down'. I send her to bed. We are sleeping separate for a few years now. 

How do you cope with your over the top desires? This desire of mine borders on rape or murder like intensity. I think it is a desire many men fear to speak of. Your thoughts please.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

lonesomegra said:


> I have been compromising greatly over the last number of months and mostly letting my wife have sex only when she is setting the tone. Yesterday I fell into the trap of begging for sex. As per normal I had my normal failure to ejaculate when we tried intercourse tonight
> 
> My main problem is we reached her point of being hot and heavy and then she became tired and her thighs got to the point of being 'stuck to me' - her words. We take a break. The momentum is lost. Her desire fades while mine is absolutely raging.
> 
> ...


Think of all the romance novels where the "duke" strongly seduces the lady?


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## lonesomegra (Dec 11, 2011)

Catherine602 we are no longer in therapy due to me being 'untreatable' since I require at least 10 sessions of anger therapy - which I cannot afford. 

Conversely my W is in a better place as she hated therapy as it made her feel belittled and a failure. She is smiling a little more - but still really afraid to let down her guard.

Frankly I guess if I told her of the intensity of my desire I think she would cold wall me for years, and leave me when the children are grown. Either that or she would very reluctantly give in and I would have to live in an atmosphere of cold bitter hatred as a result.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

What exactly is it that you are desiring so strongly? If you have anger problems, are you perhaps channeling that frustration through your sexuality?
When you speak of "rape and murder like intensity" that is scary. Are you scaring your wife into shutting down?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> What exactly is it that you are desiring so strongly? If you have anger problems, are you perhaps channeling that frustration through your sexuality?
> When you speak of "rape and murder like intensity" that is scary. Are you scaring your wife into shutting down?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I think he was saying that he has a feeling that "he has to have her" at a very high level of intensity. There is nothing wrong with that at all, it means you function sexually at an extremely high level.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Sounds like you are HD and she is LD.

You have fantasies and she is conservative.

You both have to find a happy middle ground for the amount of sex with variety and stick to it.

She should indulge your fantasies once in a while and then you do what she wants as well and that could just be vanilla sex and cuddling.

Time to bleed off anger issues by going to a gym. Also try a punching bag and lots of cardio, swimming, treadmill and heavy weight training, boxing, fighting, etc.

Most women would be gone if their hubby had rape and murder like intensities. I would be gone too if my wifee was like that.

There should be no violence when having sex, none!!!

If you like to choke your woman while doing her missionary or doggie, let her know that turns you on.

If you like to have aggressive anal sex, let her know.

She will have limits just like you have limits to what you will want to do and be comfortable with.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

CuddleBug said:


> Sounds like you are HD and she is LD.
> 
> You have fantasies and she is conservative.
> 
> ...


I don't think he is saying he wants to inject violence in the sex. He's saying the sexual desire is raised to a complete pinnacle.

It's kinda like comparing a high level basket ball player, a highly tuned and powerful human being, with incredible accuracy to a run down couch potato. Two different things...


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## lonesomegra (Dec 11, 2011)

Sexually we are opposites according to MC. The desires I have do not match her somewhat conservative views. I say somewhat as my W gives confusing signals. Among things I would like are giving and receiving oral, giving and receiving anal, ejaculation on her body, a handjob and having intercourse with me on top. I'd love to share dirty talk but this disgusts her to the point of dry wrenching.

Sometimes my W will unasked by me start a foreplay 69 and take my penis in her mouth but mostly as a tease, never for long. She fingers my ass. I get to lick her for a little bit. Then she climbs on top for PIV sex.

I think most of this is chore sex and cannot tell if she likes any of this as she will not open up with feelings and tells white lies to protect herself. These lies are not just to me but to others too.

She has more angry outbursts than me but mine are really intense. I am worse the iller I am. She gets angry at the smallest things. I mostly need a good reason for exploding (except when very sick) however my anger is still there inside me after outbursts.

I am not always well enough to physically work or play sports to lower anger to a face value level. I fear my own anger and find it really hard to control.

The anger and the desire in my mind are way different, but the power of each is the same.


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