# Wedding Anniversary



## leo74 (Jan 14, 2013)

How do you handle your 8 year wedding Anniversary 4 months after learning your wife carried on a 6 month emotional and physical affair? Isn't an anniversary a celebration of the commitment you made to each other....the vows that were promised?


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## dogman (Jul 24, 2012)

Skip it. If you make it to next year celebrate then. This year go out with a good friend and have a beer. Make sure she's at home waiting....alone.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Tell your old lady that the old marriage is dead and gone, but in 52 weeks from d-day you will be interested in celebrating her commitment to a new marriage with the same man.

If she can keep her sh1t together and respect this new marriage then we will have something to celebrate.

See with bad behaviors there are consequences...not only for you but for her also!


I'm 3 years into R and my old anni is long and gone, its the commitment and a renewal of the vows that are celebrated now.

From were I'm sitting your chick has to wait another 8 months!!!!!


BTW, what is your old lady doing to affair proof *her* marriage?


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## jupiter13 (Jun 8, 2012)

Are you saying that renewing your marriage vows is something to do when committing to the new marriage? Our 1st anniversary after D-Day I spent alone. The second he took me to dinner and tried to wine and dine me. (I'm BS)
This anniversary I want nothing to do with it. I can not see celebrating something that he had no respect for. Yes he is trying very hard and we may get through this, well actually, I can say we will get through this one way or another. But I just can't do the commitment with a full heart. Even to think about renewing vows. H~ll no! there is nothing to celebrate the WS had no respect for the vows so the contract is null and void. I'm not sure about doing it again though if there was no respect and boundaries the first time what makes you think they will respect them the second time? Just asking I am no where near thinking about new vows and may feel different in a few months. I just know that right now I can't do anniversary's.


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

Anniversary , like birthday----is a celebration of the birth of the Mge

What exactly are you celebrating----maybe celebrating, that she gave herself to another man-----celebrating her start of her new relationship with another man

SKIP IT ALTOGETHER


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## cpacan (Jan 2, 2012)

*Sv: Wedding Anniversary*

Our first anniversary after d-day I ignored completely, she was so mad, so I told her she could have done something to prove herself.
This year we went out tooa quiet dinner with the kids. We used to do somethin bigger and without kids.
I don't think there's much too celebrate.


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## leo74 (Jan 14, 2013)

Our anniversary is Mother's Day this year to make it more difficult. I think I will be getting a card from our young daughter for her and that's it.


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

How can you celebrate the anniversary of a dead marriage?

We wont celebrate the birth day of a dead man.


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## calmwinds (Dec 10, 2012)

Don't acknowledge the day/date at all. Don't say "Happy Anniversary", just try to have a good day together.


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

And you are still with her after getting for STD's because.....?

If the roles were reversed would she have been so accepting as you have been?


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## dogman (Jul 24, 2012)

Kallan Pavithran said:


> How can you celebrate the anniversary of a dead marriage?
> 
> We wont celebrate the birth day of a dead man.


The thing is the marriage is not dead. It appears to have survived her cheating at least for the time being.

So to go with your analogy...the man is not dead, he is in a coma and if he wakes up next year we can celebrate the birthday then. But this year it's put on hold. 
Ignore it because its not as important as the life support he's on.


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## ExisaWAW (Mar 5, 2013)

Leo, tough call. I tend to agree with the posters here. I'd skip it. But, if you happened to have a video of the wedding, you may want to to replay it for your WW after dinner. Ask her what those vows meant to her. By doing this, at least you're acknowledging the day but at the same time trying to teach her. Tell her what the vows meant to you. Have an otherwise quiet night. No card, gift, or other fanfare. A teaching moment. 

Has she done everything to beg for forgiveness? How's that coming along? If she's really trying to make things better, you can tell her that once you feel all this is behind the two of you, maybe you can renew your VOWS and that will be your new anniversary. Good luck Leo! I never got the chance at reconciliation because after I caught my xW, she wanted a D to get $$$ and continue her MLC.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sang-froid (May 2, 2013)

Our anniversary was close to D-day. I'm the BS and it was my idea that we take a weekend road trip with our toddler. I think my rationale was that the date was going to be an elephant if we didn't acknowledge it and it was going to be difficult for me to go through the motions at work and at home. At the time my head was still spinning so I wasn't sure whether we were really attempting at R or whether it would just be an attempt at a positive memory but it was an ok weekend overall. Considering that I was hardly sleeping and getting through a regular day was torturous at the time. There were some hard moments and some ok moments and a few glimmers of good things that had been between us. Had it not been a family weekend I'm not sure how it would have gone. Oh, and if you do decide you want to purchase a card, just go for a blank one and write whatever it is you want to say. The pre-printed messages really don't work.


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## ExisaWAW (Mar 5, 2013)

leo74 said:


> Our anniversary is Mother's Day this year to make it more difficult. I think I will be getting a card from our young daughter for her and that's it.


Good call. Definitely don't get her a MDay card from you. My D was final in Apr last year & my xw's bday & MDay was in May. I was still pining over her at that time so I got her a bday present (it was her 40th) as well as a MDay card. I regret doing that but I was in a really thick fog back then. 

Our girls are 8&12 so this year I helped them pick out a MDay card but that's it. As it should be. She betrayed you & her marriage vows. She deserves nothing from you at this point. Stay strong.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Overthemoon88 (Jan 10, 2013)

13th anniversary coming up in 2 weeks. And i have just kicked out the lying, scheming b*st*rd after DD2. It will be just another day ... I thank God I will be spending it with the most precious thing that came out of this sham M - my beautiful son ...


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