# Don't Know Where Else To Go.



## KayDoubleYou (Nov 3, 2009)

My husband and I have been married for a year and a few months now. And I'm about to just call it quits and get out. I'm only 20 years old and I think part of the reason is because I'm not ready to grow up and settle down. I got married too young, and I just want to be able to live my life. I feel like I make all of the effort. I give and give, and get nothing in return. Honestly, I love him, I do. But I know I deserve so much better; I deserve to be treated better, with respect, and I deserve attention and affection.

A majority of the time I don't think he married me out of love, but more so for the extra income that the military gives him. And even with that extra money, we can barely afford anything. Most of the money goes to video games for his xBox. 

About a month after we got married, we seperated, (not legally) I stayed with my friend, he stayed with his. And throughout the entire seperation, he swore that everything would be better if we got our own place. After 2-3 weeks, we got our own apartment, and for a little while, things did change. But then, things started to get rocky again. I feel like I'm competing for his love and attention against an xBox. He's on the damn thing before work, and after work up until he goes to bed. If the house isn't clean to his perfection he gets mad, if I cook, he doesn't eat, if I don't cook, he gets mad. I just feel like the things I do just aren't good enough.



There's just so much I want to say, and explain, but I don't know where to start. I really don't. I'm just so heart broken, and confused.


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## Loving Husband (Aug 3, 2009)

It's a parasite.. Anything that draws your attention from your spouse will kill marriages. I did that early on in my marriage. I am thankful my wife didn't get that upset. I agree your too young but he's even younger mentaly then you. If your having problems now you will not survive kids trust me. You have to have a strong marriage to do it. I don't think you need to divorce if the pro's are better then con's yet change needs to happen. You do deserve to be treated better. See if some MC will work. Help him get his priorities in order. If he has no interest then seperate but for real this time. Don't listen to his pleas see if he makes changes.. Good Luck...


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## lastinline (Jul 21, 2009)

A spouse deserves to be a priority in their significant others life. You are both young, so there is hope that this is only a maturity thing on his part, but that being said your husband needs to rethink his priorities. An Xbox is a neat toy, but it should not consume someone's life, and it is hardly a suitable substitute for a wife. This is an obviously unhealthy behavior that needs to be addressed. 

I would suggest you contact your husband's units Ombudsman to find out who to contact for a referral for counseling. You are both still very young, and I believe with a little nudge or some bottom kicking, a decent loving man can be made out of your husband, so hang in there. LIL


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## KayDoubleYou (Nov 3, 2009)

Well, the military offered a Marriage class that was a week long. And learned some new techniques such as communicating with eachother in a heated argument and so on. After completing the class, things were going well. We stopped yelling at eachother and actually talked things out. 

I honestly just feel like a room mate rather than a wife. 

We don't talk anymore, and when we do it ends up in an argument. Anytime we try to talk about anything, he's always right. My opinion, and my feelings don't matter. It's either his way or no way. Even when I try to express my opinions on a certain topic I'm automatically wrong, and then called stupid. 

For example; He had went out with his friend Justin to Walmart, and called me explaining this living room set he found, and asked me if we should get it. I told him that we really didn't have the money to be buying it in the first place and that I wanted to look at it before we made a decision like that. About 20 minutes later, he walks in the door with the entire living room set.

We don't have sex. If we do, it's all about pleasing his needs, forget about mine. No foreplay, nothing. Which makes me lose physical attraction to him because I feel like a toy. Like I'm only there to get his jolly's off.

We don't spend quality time together. I can't even count how many times I've asked him to just do something with me, like play a game, or watch a movie, just something. And he always says "No." Because, "The things that I want to do cost money." Even when I explain to him that I just wanna stay in and play a board game with him, or cuddle up and watch a movie with him, he comes up with some excuse not to. 

Also, he enrolled in college a few weeks after me, and if he gets stuck, he'll ask me for help. When I try to explain to him how to do it, he gets extremely mad at me. Because I'm wrong, even though I got an A on the assignment/class. I just feel like I'm married to some one who's 16. He thinks he's always right, and obsessed with video games.

@ Loving Husband - Honestly, I can't even think of the pros in being with him besides that I have a roof over my head, even though we can barely afford it. All he seems to care about is his own happiness. We've had the "divorce" discussion before and he told me that he was not going to give me a divorce because he doesn't see the point. Even though we are obviously unhappy together and always arguing. I just deserve so much more than this.


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## Loving Husband (Aug 3, 2009)

Kay- He will need to improve and put you number one or your marriage will be doomed eventually.. Your going to get tired of it and finally file for divorce. He can't keep you married. Explain that to him. You have free will and can call it quits. I would make sure he understands that. If your saying what is true then he is doing nothing for you right now. He needs to be a man or leave..


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