# Trying not to cry



## kristen11 (Jun 15, 2011)

Today my stbx, his best friend and me went to lunch (the stbx's idea) after the ex and I had some other things to take care of. So I made sure to dress extra cute because right now I want him to see what he is missing. When he saw me he gave me a compliment, which was a rareity. Also, he was having a hard time not staring at me. I'm having a hard time not crying because when we left the restaurant he asked me for a hug, and I caved and gave him one. Boy did it feel good to touch him again. I was doing okay on the ride home, only one little tear. Not 5 mintues after I walk in the door he calls to say he had a nice time. Now I'm fighting back the tears but I'm not letting him know I'm getting emotional. It was hard seeing his best friend too because I'm close with his daughter and she looks at me as a motherly figure and misses me. 

I've been so good at staying strong and right now all I want to do is cry. I miss him so much but I can't let him know because I"m trying real hard to do a 180. I thought I was doing well enough to at least give him a hug, but I guess I wasn't. I'm also trying not to read too much into the situation or see what isn't there but I am still feeling some connection with him especially when he looks me in my eyes with sincerity. 

Need help staying strong.


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## DelinquentGurl (Mar 25, 2011)

You are strong. You are doing the best you can do right now.
If you need to cry, then cry. Sometimes after a good cry, I feel a lot better. 

The fact that your H is noticing is a good thing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

My stbxh complimented me rarely but he gave me 2 in the last week, however it was all a game to keep me dangling and torture my feelings because I had told him I still loved him but I never, never asked him to come back and I never cried to him. 

I finally figured out that he was vindictive and tormenting me such as wearing his wedding ring one day, then taking it off, offering to cook then eating in a separate room, leaving the outdoor lights on then not, being friendly then closing his door all day the next. It was a fre_king game to him, my feelings!

I stayed as strong as possible because of the EA and deceit.And I am glad I did because of how this all panned out.

Now he can go stroke his motorcycle and see what return affection he gets.

Hang in there, listen to your heart it will tell you.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

DelinquentGurl said:


> The fact that your H is noticing is a good thing.


Why? Over is over, no? Why hash around in this mess more than you have to. Or am I misinterpreting what the X in stbx is?

I think keeping the battle going long after the war is over, is a huge waste of effort. Who cares what the X thinks any more?


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

Not that I have been asked or anything, but I could not go anywhere with my big headed azz H for sure. I don't want to reopen the wound I am trying to let heal. Maybe your 180 is working, and to save you some misery, I pray it is. This what we are all going through isn't fair....but it is life.


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