# My Story



## Hellioness (Jul 6, 2012)

Okay so there was some interest in me posting my story, it's long and pretty insane but I'll do my best to post a condensed version and then answer questions or what not at the end. There's going to be the story of two relationships here because they tie into each other.

Once upon a time there lived a BEAUTIFUL princess...

Okay seriously. So I met my first husband (R) when I was 15, he was 21. We broke up and got together a LOT, he was a controlling, verbally abusive man and I was young and stupid and just kept going back like an idiot, while reading keep in mind this continued through the entire relationship/marriage.. We got married after I found out I was pregnant at 17. He was a swinger, which I was never comfortable with but I did anyway lest I get belittled and yelled at later for not doing it. One of the things he liked to do was watch me sleep with other men, why I mention that will make sense later.

When I got pregnant we moved to another city and he went out to find a job, he ended up finding work at a movie theater. While working there he met a few people and became best friends with a man I'll call C. Now a few months after he started at the theater and I had a chance to meet the co workers he asked me if I was attracted to any of the co-workers and who I would sleep with (now remember he was a swinger so this wasn't an odd question to us). I said C, without hesitation, so R said he would talk to him and see if he would be willing to sleep with me. He came back and said C said no since it would be like sleeping with himself. I said okay, and moved on (though I did still have feelings for him and I was still very interested in him). We ended up moving to another state for awhile before moving back to the original town with two more children in tow and he got his job back at the same theater. 


When we moved back we found out C had an online girlfriend (I was crushed but tried to be happy for him). As time went on all three of us became closer/better friends, and because of that R decided to try for the whole me sleeping with C thing again. There were a few months of fliriting and teasing between C and I before one night we finally just caved and went for it. For some reason even after months of R essentially begging us to sleep together, he got incredibly upset afterwards, things got awkward, C said he should leave, blah blah and R and I ended up getting in to a fight about the situation before he forced himself on me. R decided that C and I sleeping together was a bad idea and decided it shouldn't happen again, we both agreed.


At this point his abuse just intensified, both in nature and frequency. He would become very passive aggressive, refusing to do anythign with C but insisting that I do, only to yell and scream at me for doing it later. Eventually C and I gave in again and I officially started cheating on R. We didn't make up excuses for this to be together mind we, we had a mandated day that we were to spend together per R and all hell broke loose if that didn't happen for any reason. If R and I got into a fight, after it was over and I was in a bad mood, R would call C to come pick me up and "make me happy" (I have a hard time believing R didn't know what was going on). So C and I were seeing each other much more than before, and I spent the night with him on a few occasions when R would send a text to C and tell him to just keep me there for the night. After the first night when he told me to stay the night with C, I came home to a very mad R who not only yelled at and insulted me but escalated his abuse to include physical.

The straw that broke the camels back finally came for me when R forced me to quit my job because and these are HIS words, he didn't want me working because he had to share me with other people. I was fine with that, but he then got fired from his job for not going to work and I snapped. I told him that was it, the marriage was over and I wanted him out of my house. He tried every trick he could to get me to change my mind but I wouldn't have it. I kicked him out and he got on a plane and flew to live with his parents in another state the next morning.


R went to say goodbye to everyone at the theater (he had been fired a few months earlier for sexually harrasment, a fact I had to find out from C as R never told me and apparently told everyone else not to tell me.). While saying goodbye he turned to C who still worked for the theater and ask him to "take care of me", C said he would, there were a few snide comments from other friends and that was that, R was gone. C moved in with me officially about a month later, though he was at my apartment whenever he wasn't working. C was still with his GF through all of this and didn't end up breaking up with her until about 3 months after he moved in, after he discovered that I was right and that she wasn't at all who she said she was. 

We got married in 2010 and have been pretty happy, he recently moved to another state for work (in Jan) so we only see each other occasionally now but even so I love him dearly and couldn't ask for a better husband.


So that's it, if you read it all, congratulations, I don't think most will. If you have any questions or want clarification on anything let me know and I'll gladly answer them. I'm horrible when it comes to talking about myself and seem to do much better when answer questions. Thanks for reading, and that's the last 11 years of my life in a nutshell.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Just one question.
If one of your children at age 15 were to tell you that they were in madly in love with a character like R, [ Your first husband]. 
Swinger , everything.
What would you tell them?
And if they insisted on having things their way,much like you did at 15yrs,
How would you deal with that?


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## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

I thought you said your story was crazy? You need to read some more on here girl!


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Aw come on. I was waiting for some juicy bits I didn't know already!! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hellioness (Jul 6, 2012)

Caribbean Man said:


> Just one question.
> If one of your children at age 15 were to tell you that they were in madly in love with a character like C, [ Your first husband].
> Swinger , everything.
> What would you tell them?
> ...


Well while they are 15 and aren't quite grown I would do my best to keep them from seeing each other. Even if it meant become the mom every child hates who completely strips there freedoms, and hope that he would go away.

Now the thing with me was I never had any one telling me not to do it, or anyone to fight to "have things my way"


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## Hellioness (Jul 6, 2012)

humanbecoming said:


> I thought you said your story was crazy? You need to read some more on here girl!


Never said it was crazy, just involved, if I had put in every little detail about the whole sorid affair with BOTH people, I'd still be typing.


YinPrincess said:


> Aw come on. I was waiting for some juicy bits I didn't know already!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I don't know, I think you know most of it Yin.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Well... Your childhood is a unique situation... Whether or not you want to mention it, is up to you... Before anyone decides to criticize it. (Maybe they won't - maybe they will).

I love your mom. She's a sweetheart! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Hellioness said:


> Well while they are 15 and aren't quite grown I would do my best to keep them from seeing each other. Even if it meant become the mom every child hates who completely strips there freedoms, and hope that he would go away.
> 
> *Now the thing with me was I never had any one telling me not to do it, or anyone to fight to "have things my way*"




Well,therin lies the assumption or the basis for my initial question.
If you never had that sort of parental restraint,then wher are you going to get the " deep resolve" to break that cycle if you were to see it happening again?
I believe an individuals personality / character is the sum total of all their life's experiences and encounters.
Basically what I'm asking is this.
_*What is the fundamental difference between the person TODAY [ the OP ] who posted this story ,and the person IN the story?*_


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## Hellioness (Jul 6, 2012)

YinPrincess said:


> Well... Your childhood is a unique situation... Whether or not you want to mention it, is up to you... Before anyone decides to criticize it. (Maybe they won't - maybe they will).
> 
> I love your mom. She's a sweetheart!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Guess I threw that out there might as well spill about that as well.

I didn't really have much of a childhood. When I was about 10 my sister decided she didn't like our family as it wasn't your typical mom and dad from the 50s. She was upset that my mother was handicapped and my father didn't wear a suit every day so she decided to take lice shampoo to school and threaten to drink it. When the school stepped in to see what was going on she lied and said her home life was horrible, that our dad beat her regularly and molested her. She was taken in to foster care had tried to have them take me as well. I was often badgered by CPS on rather or not my dad had ever abused me. My sister later admitted she made all of this up so that she could be placed in a foster home with a mother that wore dresses and a father that wore suits. This of course caused a huge rift within the family, my father and mother both turned to drugs (meth and pot) and eventually my father ended up manufacturing and selling meth. My mother got so depressed she would no longer go through the effort of getting up to go to the restroom and ended up just going in her bed, or if i was lucky a 5 gallon bucked I would empty out for her. During this point I had basically given up, I had to drop out of school to take care of my mother and eventually started doing drugs with my parents. Because of the smell someone reported us to the police who did a raid and found dad's meth lab. I was sent to foster care for a while until they decided I could live with my grandma, my mother was sent to live with my aunt and my father is still in prison.

It was about a year after my father's arrest and my moving in with my grandmother that I met R.


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## Hellioness (Jul 6, 2012)

Caribbean Man said:


> Well,therin lies the assumption or the basis for my initial question.
> If you never had that sort of parental restraint,then wher are you going to get the " deep resolve" to break that cycle if you were to see it happening again?
> I believe an individuals personality / character is the sum total of all their life's experiences and encounters.
> Basically what I'm asking is this.
> _*What is the fundamental difference between the person TODAY [ the OP ] who posted this story ,and the person IN the story?*_


As cliche as it might seem, the difference is C. My husband made me realize that regardless of where a person comes from they don't deserve to be treated that way, he showed me what love truly is, and how it's conveyed. I look back at my first marriage and I can't believe I was so stupid to have put up with that. I myself now realize when it's wrong and can see when it's happening (ask Yin). I would NEVER want to see my children go through that kind of relationship.


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## Hopefull363 (Feb 13, 2012)

Hellioness, Thank you for sharing your story. Do you and C have trust issues because of the way you met? How often do you get to see each other?


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## Hellioness (Jul 6, 2012)

Hopefull363 said:


> Hellioness, Thank you for sharing your story. Do you and C have trust issues because of the way you met? How often do you get to see each other?


Not really, I've always had trust issues due to my childhood but C trust me completely. We see each other every few months, he was here at the beginning of July and I'm going to go see him towards the end of august. He moved to get a job with an animation company and now I have to wait until we have the money for me to move and he finds a place for us.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

I don't want you to move!!! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

I know. I'm clingy, needy and selfish! LoL!! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hellioness (Jul 6, 2012)

YinPrincess said:


> I don't want you to move!!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_





YinPrincess said:


> I know. I'm clingy, needy and selfish! LoL!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Lol at least you're not clingy to EVERYONE! I know you don't, I honestly don't think I want to either.:scratchhead:


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

LoL just selected, unfortunate souls... LoL! My family always says I'm "aloof" and "anti-social"!

Maybe "C" can move back here?? 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hellioness (Jul 6, 2012)

YinPrincess said:


> LoL just selected, unfortunate souls... LoL! My family always says I'm "aloof" and "anti-social"!
> 
> Maybe "C" can move back here??
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 He actually might, it all depends on what happens with his job out there and rather or not we can find a place.


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## geek down (May 10, 2012)

Hellioness said:


> As cliche as it might seem, the difference is C. My husband made me realize that regardless of where a person comes from they don't deserve to be treated that way, he showed me what love truly is, and how it's conveyed. I look back at my first marriage and I can't believe I was so stupid to have put up with that. I myself now realize when it's wrong and can see when it's happening (ask Yin). I would NEVER want to see my children go through that kind of relationship.


People need to make their own mistakes, however those that already made the same mistakes need to share their experience. 

hindsight and everything being 20/20....I would do ALOT of things different..If I did then maybe I would be a different person then I am...

A weird and interesting story Helene..I cant imagine what kind of tug you've had to deal with..


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## Hellioness (Jul 6, 2012)

geek down said:


> People need to make their own mistakes, however those that already made the same mistakes need to share their experience.
> 
> hindsight and everything being 20/20....I would do ALOT of things different..If I did then maybe I would be a different person then I am...
> 
> A weird and interesting story Helene..I cant imagine what kind of tug you've had to deal with..


Helene? Is that my new nickname? :scratchhead: lol
well part of the reason I posted this was so that people could see where I was coming from and know that I've gone through the same thing. 

That's also why I don't mind answer any questions about it.


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## geek down (May 10, 2012)

Hellioness said:


> Helene? Is that my new nickname? :scratchhead: lol
> well part of the reason I posted this was so that people could see where I was coming from and know that I've gone through the same thing.
> 
> That's also why I don't mind answer any questions about it.


I dunno...its been a long night and I'm three sheets right now...next four days off so I'm partying just for the fact I don't have to worry about work for a while..

..Autocorrect sucks....


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## geek down (May 10, 2012)

YinPrincess said:


> LoL just selected, unfortunate souls... LoL! My family always says I'm "aloof" and "anti-social"!
> 
> Maybe "C" can move back here??
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Love your new avatar pic Yin...If I lived next door to you, I'D be peeking in the windows myself...YEOW!:smthumbup:

My family says the same thing...So what if I'm in the corner playing my PSP...I still see everything thats going on at the party..


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## Hellioness (Jul 6, 2012)

geek down said:


> I dunno...its been a long night and I'm three sheets right now...next four days off so I'm partying just for the fact I don't have to worry about work for a while..
> 
> ..Autocorrect sucks....


uh huh...blame autocorrect. I know you have your reasons but don't drink too much! In a way that's just letting her control you again.


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## Hellioness (Jul 6, 2012)

geek down said:


> Love your new avatar pic Yin...If I lived next door to you, I'D be peeking in the windows myself...YEOW!:smthumbup:
> 
> My family says the same thing...So what if I'm in the corner playing my PSP...I still see everything thats going on at the party..


She is pretty attractive...see I get to see her whenever I want = P


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

You guys! Makin' me blush!!

(Don't tell him that you've seen me nekked)... :lol:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## geek down (May 10, 2012)

Hellioness said:


> She is pretty attractive...see I get to see her whenever I want = P


My android tablet is melting....its getting hot in here...:smthumbup:

I'd say its not getting to me, but I'd be lieing..It's been one killer of a week...


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## geek down (May 10, 2012)

YinPrincess said:


> You guys! Makin' me blush!!
> 
> (Don't tell him that you've seen me nekked)... :lol:
> _Posted via Mobile Device_












Pics or GTFO......jk...or am I?


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

LoL! I love Quagmire!! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## geek down (May 10, 2012)

Sad thing to admit, but I do a MEAN herbert the pervert...


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Hellioness said:


> uh huh...blame autocorrect. I know you have your reasons but don't drink too much! In a way that's just letting her control you again.


I think I'm gonna start calling you Helene!!!

(Now MY "auto-correct" says that is spelled WRONG)!!!! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

YinPrincess said:


> You guys! Makin' me blush!!
> 
> (Don't tell him that you've seen me nekked)... :lol:
> _Posted via Mobile Device_




can you draw us a picture hell?


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

No! She can't!!   :rofl:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## geek down (May 10, 2012)

YinPrincess said:


> I think I'm gonna start calling you Helene!!!
> 
> (Now MY "auto-correct" says that is spelled WRONG)!!!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I bought my new car from a cute little irish girl named helene...her name's in my phone...She's in my mind..


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

that is a hell of a story hellioness. no woman should have to go through that, but i guess thats some of what made you what you are today. and hopefully thats an awesome person.

you should take princess with you and help save her too.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

The Universe is speaking... :lol: 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## geek down (May 10, 2012)

YinPrincess said:


> No! She can't!!   :rofl:
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Why draw a picture??? Just post it...


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

YinPrincess said:


> No! She can't!!   :rofl:
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


aww, so sad 

i will grow my scruff back out for you


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

2nd_t!me iz_best said:


> that is a hell of a story hellioness. no woman should have to go through that, but i guess thats some of what made you what you are today. and hopefully thats an awesome person.
> 
> you should take princess with you and help save her too.


I don't think C would approve of my constant, histrionic need for attention... :lol:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

Hellioness said:


> She is pretty attractive...see I get to see her whenever I want = P


im jealous, she is very attractive.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

geek down said:


> Why draw a picture??? Just post it...


Yeah! I won't get banned if it's "tasteful" and "artistic", will I???  :lol:

I'd miss being here too much!!! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## geek down (May 10, 2012)

well....IF you make sure its protected by the first amendment you should be ok...Like that guy in Oregon that protested to a body scanner by getting naked..

....Better send me the pic in a PM and I'll make sure its ok....hehe


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

:rofl:

You haven't PMed me in a while, AND I emptied my Inbox when I was at Hell's this weekend... :wtf:

You guys can thank her for the new avie. 

:rofl: 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## geek down (May 10, 2012)

YinPrincess said:


> :rofl:
> 
> You haven't PMed me in a while, AND I emptied my Inbox when I was at Hell's this weekend... :wtf:
> 
> ...


Sorry Yin..I promise if you send me the pic, I'll PM you more..:smthumbup::smthumbup::smthumbup::smthumbup::smthumbup:..jk..

How did this thread turn into a cyber pepshow?


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

I have no idea!!! 

Checking out here for a few, guys. Got to get that beauty rest! 

Nite Lite!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

Crazy! I leave for a couple hours, and the clothes start flying....



You and yin remind my so much of my niece..... Bad situations.... But hopefully learning and growing out of them.


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## Hellioness (Jul 6, 2012)

What in the world is going on here!? I go to bed and my thread turns into the dating game online version!?



YinPrincess said:


> I don't think C would approve of my constant, histrionic need for attention... :lol:
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Tough love dear, I'd beat it out of you :lol:


YinPrincess said:


> You guys! Makin' me blush!!
> 
> (Don't tell him that you've seen me nekked)... :lol:
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Well I don't have to know you just did!



2nd_t!me iz_best said:


> can you draw us a picture hell?


 Technically I could....


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## Hellioness (Jul 6, 2012)

2nd_t!me iz_best said:


> that is a hell of a story hellioness. no woman should have to go through that, but i guess thats some of what made you what you are today. and hopefully thats an awesome person.
> 
> you should take princess with you and help save her too.


Thanks 2nd, there are some things I decided not to put in the story simply because I don't feel ready so share them with the world yet, only one other person in my entire life knows and that's C.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Good thing Photobucket was down last night! That's all I'm sayin'!! 

Oh, and perhaps I need to lay off the NewCastle... :lol: 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Hellioness said:


> Thanks 2nd, there are some things I decided not to put in the story simply because I don't feel ready so share them with the world yet, only one other person in my entire life knows and that's C.


It's good you can share these things with him. I can't really share anything with my hubs. He's too critical and in the past, he's used things I've told him to throw them in my face and hurt me at a later time. He's shared some of his secrets with me, though. I'm glad he trusted me enough to tell me some things about his past...

Does C know you're here?? 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hellioness (Jul 6, 2012)

YinPrincess said:


> It's good you can share these things with him. I can't really share anything with my hubs. He's too critical and in the past, he's used things I've told him to throw them in my face and hurt me at a later time. He's shared some of his secrets with me, though. I'm glad he trusted me enough to tell me some things about his past...
> 
> Does C know you're here??
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


YEah he has been the only one I trust enough to tell. He worked HARD to build my trust with him. 

He knows I'm here, he doesn't really care, just asks that I don't air OUR dirty laundry which is fine since we don't really have any.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

I hate to say it, but people DO come here to "air their dirty laundry" and seek advice and perspective on it.

I have no shame, it is what it is. I post and get feedback. It's helped me tremendously to see what others think. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hellioness (Jul 6, 2012)

YinPrincess said:


> I hate to say it, but people DO come here to "air their dirty laundry" and seek advice and perspective on it.
> 
> I have no shame, it is what it is. I post and get feedback. It's helped me tremendously to see what others think.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I know, I'm not saying those that do shouldn't, I'm fine with talking about my first marriage. C just doesn't like me doing it with OUR relationship, he feels it's our business. So the majority of what I say/comment about will pertain to my marriage with R. 

I have no shame throwing my problems out there to get advice on, and I don't think anyone else should either. It's just not something I'm going to do when it comes to my current marriage because he would prefer me not to.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

And because you really don't need to... What are you going to talk about? How perfect and happy you guys are?? 

I'm so envious! LoL!! :lol:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hellioness (Jul 6, 2012)

YinPrincess said:


> And because you really don't need to... What are you going to talk about? How perfect and happy you guys are??
> 
> I'm so envious! LoL!! :lol:
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


woman! Pay attention! *shakes fist*
My FIRST marriage, and all the BS I still have to put up with when it comes to him and not being able to see my children.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

I DID pay attention!!! I was just addressing your current marriage!! 

I know. We should get one of those shock collars for him... Eh, but he'd probably actually enjoy that... LoL!! :lol:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hellioness (Jul 6, 2012)

YinPrincess said:


> I DID pay attention!!! I was just addressing your current marriage!!
> 
> I know. We should get one of those shock collars for him... Eh, but he'd probably actually enjoy that... LoL!! :lol:
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Okay that was a mental image I didn't need! You know my imagination takes things toooooooooooo far!!!!!!!!:banghead:


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Great. I think you just telepathically sent the image to my brain. Ew. LoL!! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hellioness (Jul 6, 2012)

YinPrincess said:


> Great. I think you just telepathically sent the image to my brain. Ew. LoL!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


HAHA! Take that! :rofl:


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

LoL! That's what I get for typing before I think...  :lol:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

Hellioness said:


> and not being able to see my children.


why would you not be able to see your children?
or is that an issue you feel better not discussing?


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## Hellioness (Jul 6, 2012)

2nd_t!me iz_best said:


> why would you not be able to see your children?
> or is that an issue you feel better not discussing?


I don't mind talking about that. What happened was at one point R and I were renting a house from my aunt. He as always decided to be a douche to her so she evicted us. He was the only one working, as he had gotten me fired from my job by calling my work place constantly, and wasn't getting much so we were going to have a hard time affording an apartment for just the two of us.

In order to keep my children, safe, warm and fed I asked his parents who live in another state to take them in for a while until we could get back on our feet (I would later realize this was the biggest mistake of my life), his mother said she would take them but that I would need to sign over my rights to the children so she could get them medical and all that ( I know I shouldn't have done it, I know it was stupid, and I realize it is all my fault before someone points it out), but that I could take them back when we were able to care for them. We were in a really bad spot and had no way to provide for them on his minimum wage checks.

We moved out into an apartment, the cheapest one we could find near his work so he could walk to work and I could take our one car to find a job. It was while we were in the apartment that I called it quits and kicked him out, his family was friendly enough to me until then, once I divorced him I became the most evil vile person on the planet. They moved to another state when R's father retired where they all live now.

I have seen my children once in the past 3 years and that was only for about 30 minutes when they went through my state to get to their house during the move. They do let C see my children as the state he moved to is the same state they're in, but because of the distance I haven't seen them, I just recently got a job steady enough to afford a trip there. But the worst part of it is when I am finally able to move there with C and where my children are, I can only see them on her time, and when she decides to let me. I offered to get a house big enough that they could spend the night so she could have a night off and she refuses to let me keep the children longer than a few hours, at the most.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Can you petition to have your parental rights reinstated one day??
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hellioness (Jul 6, 2012)

daffodilly said:


> ^^^^ This is awful of them....I'm sure your MIL knew perfectly well you were young and didn't know what you were signing....she took perfect advantage of you.
> 
> I hope in time you will be able to move there and see them... even see about legally getting more structured/scheduled visitation, although I know how expensive that can get. It's important you can be around and accessible, though...eventually they will get older and ask questions and at some point, despite their grandparents they will want to know their mother. I truly hope so, because they could certainly learn a lot from you! I think you are an amazingly strong woman.


Thank you so much for that. I do intend to do something once I'm more able to. I know at some point the kids will end up resenting their grandparents and it's just me having to put up with it now. As it stands I can only speak with them when she lets me, she tells them not to call me mom but to refer to me by my first name and has told them numerous lies about me including that they no longer live with me because I didn't want them anymore.

It broke my heart to hear my son tell me that he lives with grandma and grandpa because mommy didn't want him anymore. 


YinPrincess said:


> Can you petition to have your parental rights reinstated one day??
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm not sure, I'm trying to figure it out but since it's gone through 3 states it's pretty confusing.


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

YinPrincess said:


> You guys! Makin' me blush!!
> 
> (Don't tell him that you've seen me nekked)... :lol:
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


OMG lucky girl


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## Hopefull363 (Feb 13, 2012)

How old are your children? For the children's sake I would try to save enough money to get to where C lives. Once you have a nice stable home with C, petition the courts for custody or at least 50% custody. Try to establish a steady visitation with them first to let the courts know you are serious. Until you can get there never miss sending a card for birthdays, holidays, ect. Send them registered mail so you have prove for the courts that you never gave up on them. If the kids are older they may be comfortable in their routine and not want to move back with you. Good luck with that. It must be heart wrenching for you.

So glad you and Yin have each other. I've been following Yin's blog as well. Take Yin with you. She needs a good exit plan. Moving to a different state would help her exit.


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## Hellioness (Jul 6, 2012)

Hopefull363 said:


> How old are your children? For the children's sake I would try to save enough money to get to where C lives. Once you have a nice stable home with C, petition the courts for custody or at least 50% custody. Try to establish a steady visitation with them first to let the courts know you are serious. Until you can get there never miss sending a card for birthdays, holidays, ect. Send them registered mail so you have prove for the courts that you never gave up on them. If the kids are older they may be comfortable in their routine and not want to move back with you. Good luck with that. It must be heart wrenching for you.
> 
> So glad you and Yin have each other. I've been following Yin's blog as well. Take Yin with you. She needs a good exit plan. Moving to a different state would help her exit.


That's what I'm trying to do now is save up the money, but it's been pretty tough to do that and still pay the bills. I always send presents to the children and now that C is in the same state I send them to him and he hand delivers them. I don't even know how legal the sign off was, she printed off the forms from the internet and then I signed in front of a notary. No courts were involved.


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## Hopefull363 (Feb 13, 2012)

If it was never submitted to the courts then you still probably have legal custody. Have any friends that's a lawyer? I really hate that the world revolves around money. Stupid pieces of paper when lives are involved. Want good health care then need lots of money to buy good insurance, want to keep your kids or get them back then have to have lots of money. It's ridiculous.


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## Hellioness (Jul 6, 2012)

Hopefull363 said:


> If it was never submitted to the courts then you still probably have legal custody. Have any friends that's a lawyer? I really hate that the world revolves around money. Stupid pieces of paper when lives are involved. Want good health care then need lots of money to buy good insurance, want to keep your kids or get them back then have to have lots of money. It's ridiculous.


Nope no lawyers friends and really can't afford to pay one which is where I assume you were going with that.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

how old are you now?


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## Hellioness (Jul 6, 2012)

warlock07 said:


> how old are you now?


26


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## Hopefull363 (Feb 13, 2012)

You have some story Hellioness and have been through a lot. You're one tough lady. Glad to have met you on TAM.


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## Hellioness (Jul 6, 2012)

Hopefull363 said:


> You have some story Hellioness and have been through a lot. You're one tough lady. Glad to have met you on TAM.


Thank you Hopefull, glad to have "met" you as well.


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## Hellioness (Jul 6, 2012)

daffodilly said:


> I'm wondering if it's better to send them via registered mail....as a previous poster suggested, to have proof that you always tried to maintain contact. Just thinking down the road the grandparents could deny you ever sent anything or that C ever delivered anything. Because I'm sure once you petition for access and custody they will do everything to deny your right....she's already telling your son you didn't want him  Likely she'll tell the courts the same thing...this way you have proof you sent things...if she doesn't give them to the kids, then _she_ looks bad, KWIM?


Well right now I've been sending them insured to C and he's been taking pictures of the kids getting them but I'll probably start sending them registered mail. The whole reason I haven't been sending them to her directly is because she gives them the presents but there are times she changes the tag and says they are from her and I didn't send anything so I don't trust her with them.


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