# New to this website, but I need help



## lala (Jun 4, 2011)

Ok, I think my husband is cheating on me. Last night, when we were eating dinner he gets a call on his cell..it was some chick and there was real loud music in the background like she was at a concert or something. She was yelling in the phone and saying why haven't you replied to my texts? Well, he hung up and I asked who that was and he said he didn't know and it was a different area code then where we live. So I kinda let it go well today, when he was supposed to be "working" he comes home early has a kid with him and says it was his friends' kid. He said he went by his friends house (some guy name George but I have never heard him mention him) and he let my husband take his son with him to work ??? Dosn't make sense. Well, when he came in the house this afternoon he was in a really big hurry and said he had to take the little boy back to his dads house and when I asked if I could come too he said no and just left. Hardly without telling me bye. I mean, things aren't making sense and I just have a feeling that he either dosn't want to be with me anymore, or he's seeing someone else. He left about 3 hours ago to take that little boy back to his parents house and he's still not back and he won't answer his phone either...I'm worried he's up to something.  
What should I do?


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## heartbroken1957 (Apr 8, 2011)

Calm down. You could be reading something into nothing about an affair.

The call may have been from a girl at a club who was trying to cause problems for her marriage by texting your husband who may be a friend to George, who may be her husband. Your husband may be doing George a favor and getting his kid out of the bad scene with "Cell girl". Then as for him being late, he may still have the boy and can't take him back to the home. As for not answering. It may be very very simple. He may have left the phone in the car. He may have it in a pocket and not hearing or feeling it. He or kid may have turned it off. Or hopfully not, He may be talking someone out of doing something stupid. 

Please try to get your mind off the affair senario and wait for hubby. If you ask where were you, who is that, what happened. Please Please do yourself a favor and DON'T think the worse or speak of the worse. 
He may not be telling you anything yet because most times less said the better it is to keep a job, or help a friend keep a job.


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## RestlessInGeorgia (Dec 3, 2008)

He seems to be acting strange to say the least. It may not be an affair. I would just keep my eyes and ears open at this point. You really don't have enough evidence right now. Have you bus been having marital problems lately? Is there any reason at all that you can think of that would cause him to have an affair? Can you get a look at his phone to view any texts without him knowing? Can you also view any numbers he has called or received calls from? If you can get phone numbers go to The Official WhitePages - Find People for Free it has a reverse phone lookup but it only displays info on listed landlines. It will let you know if its a cell phone and the approximate location of the cell phone but no name/address. Hope this helps and good luck. I truly hope its not an affair. I found out about an affair my wife had 6 years ago the other day. Its pure hell and I wouldn't wish the experience on anyone.


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## BigToe (Jun 2, 2011)

I agree with you that those incidents are very strange and do not make sense. If your gut tells you there is something going on, it probably is.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

At this point you will need all your strenght. If you confront him he will deny. This when you want to be calm and collected. This is when you quitely do your own investigation. Do not accuse of ask him he will only lie and make you look insecure and will take it deeper under ground.

So as long as you act like every thing is OK he will continue to slip up, while gather enough evidence to confront him with undeniable proof with out him talking his way out of it.

Go and find out how to catch a cheater, you will get info on keyloggers and VAR's and the like. Start to look at reciepts and phone bills, CC statements. Theres alot out there that will help you.

The main thing is do it quitely and act normal, remember you don't want him to take in deeper underground, it will make it harder to find out whats really going on.

PI are the best but expensive.

If you donot take these step he will only lie and make you look like the crazy one. So go get the proof that you need to have a substancial confrontation.


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## mmpriest_2707 (Jun 5, 2011)

i think you should talk to him first about how you feel..its hurts to say but womans instinct is always right


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Do not talk to him first! If he is cheating, he will just be more careful. In addition, he will have you questioning your own sanity. Be cool, calm, and collected at this stage. 

You're correct; what you have told us does not make sense. But, more importantly, your gut is telling you something isn't right. Also, keep in mind cheaters LIE. Trust the evidence you gather. The guy gave you some very good advice on gathering evidence.


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## kenmoore14217 (Apr 8, 2010)

bizarre behavior for sure. Keep your guard up and maybe do some spying. Good luck


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Halien said:


> Now, if I was you, I might make a batch of cookies for the kid and tell your husband that now that things have cooled down, you liked the kid and want to take him the cookies NOW. No excuses. If he uses the excuse that they are not home, you say that you will leave them at the door.


I like this approach. I used that approach a few times myself. Oh, it was so sweet watching him back peddle and sweat. Priceless!


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## lala (Jun 4, 2011)

Thanks for all your help. He finally came back home last night after hours of being gone and really no explanation and he said he was going out last night...again, when I asked if I could come he said no. He claimed we have been spending "too much time together" and he thinks we needed some space. So he went out with the guy "George" who I still have never met. And after he left I was like ok, well if he can go out and have a good time I am too, so I called some of my friends and went out with them and had a great time last night. I got home at 4 in the morning and he was still gone...but he came home like 30 minutes later and just passed out, he went to work today.

I love this man with all my heart, and I hope to God he's not f*cking around...


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## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

Let's cut to the chase, he is either in an affair or he is up to no good with something else. Go find George, a grown man looking after another man's son sounds fishy. Next time take a photo of the boy and post or save it somewhere safe, if you can get your husband with the boy better still. I even suggest you call the police, be realistic what is he doing with that boy, it is not his son so what is going on and he disappears without you knowing where he is. 

Start digging there is a lot wrong with what you are writing and it reads like he is talking the same way affair folk speak or something a whole lot worse particularly since there is a minor involved.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

Lala don't waste any more time on this, if it is an affair you will be able to find out very quickly, or it is innocent and your husbands behaviour is stupid or you will be saving a minor from possible abuse. Pick up the phone and call the cops file a compaint for possible child abuse. Your husband should never be alone in the company of a minor that is not his.

This assumes your use of the words " kid and little boy" is a reference to him being a minor.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lala (Jun 4, 2011)

Yes, the kid looked about 8 or 9 years old. I don't know the kid's name though. He didn't say anything when they walked in the house and they were here literally about 30 seconds. He was in a rush to leave and he said he was talking the child back to his fathers house but I don't understand why his dad would let him go to work the my husband? He does own his own business but he works outside all day and it was very hot yesterday, like 102 degrees. (I live in the south). But I know my husband and he would NEVER hurt a child. He's actually very good with children even though we don't have any ourselves, but we watch his nephews all the time and they love him! But he was gone til 4:30 in the morning, don't know where he went..he said he went downtown with that guy George but idk...I just know most of his friends and never heard him mention him before or never met him. So it just struck me as odd. But maybe it's true ??


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

I wouldn't overreact to the boy being with your husband--definitely don't go calling the police. Stay calm, cool, and collected. Take a deep breath and THINK things through. Besides, my nephew sometimes brings "boys" around. It is entirely innocent. I have a good idea of the reason behind the boy being with your husband though. I'll keep that to myself--you've got to get some evidence......

When a married man is cheating, it is very common for him to use a guy's name as an alibi. My husband always said he was hanging out with Wayne at the marina. That alibi got blown out of the water one day when Wayne came by our store. My husband was not there and I chatted with Wayne a few minutes. I found out he had been in the Bahamas for two months. Whoops! Or, when my husband said he was always going out of town to be with family (like every other weekend). That didn't fly when MIL told her son she missed him and hadn't seen him for six months (while at our son's graduation). Whoops again! It's definitely time to investigate......


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

Lol 827. You made your husbands cheating sound like a Monty Python Sketch.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Numb-badger said:


> Lol 827. You made your husbands cheating sound like a Monty Python Sketch.


LOL, but every bit of it (and more) is true. Glad I'm to the point I see the humor in just how ridiculous he looked.


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## heartbroken1957 (Apr 8, 2011)

No matter what you do. DO NOT CALL FOR CHILD ABUSE. Things can go goofy and your husband or x-H will end up being labeled a child molester for life. That means if you stay with him, you will not be able to have your own children in the house with him. 

Ok so later and the next day things are still looking bad. Next time don't let him leave without you. Get in the car before him and stay there. Explain that by him not telling you what is happening and avoiding you, he looks very bad. You want the truth and you will not stop till you get it. You will come to his workplace and harrass him thru his boss, you will go to his parents, throw everything you can think of that you really can do at him. 
He will either fess up or not. Either way you have the answer. 
If he has the child with him, be nice, don't question him, turn and ask the boy if "George is his daddy"'. But be aware that George may actually be his parent, Georgette the mother. 

I've had serveral friends who carried a short version of thier name, Bill was Willamena, Sam was Samantha, Joe was Josifine, etc.


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## lala (Jun 4, 2011)

Um I know ya'll are trying to help, but my husband does not abuse kids or molest kids. The little boy was his friend's kid but I just don't know if his friend "George" is a male or female. George might just be a name he's telling me and it might be a female and that might be her son.

I'm not worried that he kidnapped the kid and is hurting him in some way...lol...that would never fuc*ing happen. He's not like that..I'm just saying it's weird circumstances that I've never heard of this guy George and then he shows up with his kid at our house but my H would never EVER in his life do anything like that to a child! I know him...he's completely against stuff like that..makes him sick. So no, I wouldn't call the cops on my H because I know he would never do anything like that! I'm just not so sure I want my H hanging around whoever that kids parents are....


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## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

Whether he's having an affair or not (and I'd say the odds are very high that he IS), either way he's got a lot of explaining to do.

You just need to confront him, flat-out, and have him explain what is going on to your satisfaction -- with proof wherever he can provide it. My guess is, he CAN'T. 
He needs to show you his cell phone history, with transparency, including texts. He should call this "George" together with you... if there is a "George", then George can validate his story. If George is the child's dad, get the kid to say "hello" over the phone. Doubt and challenge everything, but give him NO time to prepare his stroy and alibis. If hubby is not willing to call George, you have your answer. Hubby not answering his cellphone for 3 hours while doing something questionable + not wanting to even discuss the matter other than tell you that youy spend too much time together tells me all I need to know to form a very strong opinion as to what is going on. What are you waiting for?


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## lala (Jun 4, 2011)

Yea, and the part about we spend too much time together is BS..he works 7 days a week! We hardly EVER see each other...he's at work now! But he actually asked me this morning if I wanted to go to work with him...guess just trying to justify that he's not fuc*ing up..but I declined to go with him.


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## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

Having spent literally hundreds of hours researching and thinking this over, my best conclusion is when your gut tells you something is very wrong -- then something is very wrong. You just *know*.


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## heartbroken1957 (Apr 8, 2011)

Lala, You need to stop swaying back and forth on what to do. He invited you to work. Now go, make it a surprize. 
I don't see an affair. At least not your hubby. Yes something is fishy, but he was way out in the open taking the phone call, showing up with the kid, telling you where he was going, even though you say you don't know George, you may know him by another name. Quit thinking without proof and go get it. Even if you have to borrow or rent a car to follow him around.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

DO NOT talk to him first.. DO NOT act suspicious..If there really is something going on between him and another woman, it will make it harder for you to find the truth , id he knows you are on to him. He will cover his tracks... If you really want to know what is going on check his phone records, put a voice activated recorder in his car.. That is a start.


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