# hey, I managed to eat a Mr. Noodles!!



## girltrax101 (May 6, 2011)

Well, I pkg of Mr Noodles in a week...not bad! What a great way to lose weight...(sarcasm)

Well, life after a week of being asked to leave, and yes, I do realize now, he was given the choice by 2/3 teenagers, but ultimately it was his decision. Just 'cause I realize this, doesn't make it hurt any less...just more.

I am waiting to hear an appt date at a lawyer, just to get a better understanding of my rights, but hopefully not need him anymore after the appt?...naive I know, but I still have some hope for my husband.

Everything is in his name, so I don't even know what my rights are...that's why I'm going to get information. Here's what I posted on a divorce site, I guess I wanted more opinions...tell me what you think.....
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need your thoughts before I see lawyer! 

Alright, so I felt strong (enough to hold a conversation without crying), keep in mind that this wasn't my decision, nor do I want to leave. I felt I wanted the financial cards on the table to see where his head was at. After me quittting my job 5yrs ago to come live with him and work within his farming business. After me leaving my family and friends behind for him. (No pity party required, I'm smart enough to know it was my choice) After me selling my car as it wasn't needed. After me living here for 5yrs, working within his business at $1000.00/month salary. After me, doing all the bookkeeping, migrant worker program, food safety audits stuff, basically "the books" in our business as well as the growing/packing end. After all my furniture/appliances and such were given to our migrant workers. After I did all the household chores (which I did actually love doing). After me, raising his 3 children and my 1 child....
I'm faced with ....You need to leave as 2/3 kids (teens) don't like you anymore and won't come back for their scheduled 2 weeks/month with us unless I'm gone.
So...I must leave in search of a home, vehicle, job and means to support my daughter and I...this much I've accepted.
So, I went out to the barn yesterday and said, "what's your ballpark number to make sure my daughter and I are ok"....he said $5000.00 plus I he'll sign over the company truck (2003 Avalanche, 127k's, needs work.
I said, "ok, I'll give that number a thought".....I stayed awake all last night....thinking.
I don't think it's fair, but I don't want to be greedy either. I wanted to do this without lawyers. I basically wanted to say "well, I could get this, but I'll settle for this"....I just don't know what "this is what I could go for amount is"....I'll give you some numbers, if there's anyone out there who has an idea of what is fair, reply!
Home: 200,000.00...has NO mortgage
Vehicles: 2003 Avalanche, 2008 Avalanche, shipping truck...ALL PAID FOR
Credit Cards: $ZERO balance on all (limits as high as $40,000) as of today's current date
Personal line of credit: ZERO balance as of Jan (can't find statement beyond thus far yet)
Investments: $28,000.00
Business: $400,000 mortgage between him and his mother left. 
He's a Farmer, and farmers can hide money very well. I never questioned why his T-4 was only $4500.00 each year..."Don't worry, it's a farming thing"....well I'm beginning to worry now!
Everything is in his name.
This is what I want.....
1. A reliable used car. (my brother's a salesman and he said with the truck trade in and buying a used Demo...he thinks he could find me something for $3500.00
2. My "wage" for the rest of the year (my "leave" date is July 1st) so we're talking my wage from June-Dec= $6000.00 (my rent while I look for a job)
3. $5000.00 cash for furnishings/appliances/car insurance/utility hook-ups and such....everything will be bought used.
Basically $15,000.

He won't lose the business, his home, his kids college funds, vehicles and such. BUT, I am losing (besides the love of my life)... security. I am being asked to leave. I do have a rental property lined up, and he DID give me first and last months rent as he says he feels guilty...$2000.00. So, on the brightside, I do have a place, rented without actually viewing it except online as I'm returning back to my roots and would unrealistic to go view a home far away. However, that's great...but...how am I going to pay for it...his response was "I'll give you a good reccomendation, you're smart". I know I'll find a job, I've never not had a job since I was 9. That's not the point though...I move in, and start applying..but what if I can't find anything right away? One can "hope for the best"...but "one also has to be wise"

So give me an insight to what "you" would do in my shoes. And, I won't be offended if you say "what you're asking is too much" but I just need reason's why as my brain's been a bit clouded by all the "love lost" stuff.
Thanks!

That's all I'd need to "begin again"...HOWEVER, is "all I need" ok to ask for...looking for truth here...am I being naive, is this too muich to ask for?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

My advice, talk to your lawyer first before making any decision. But your idea seems more reasonable than his, after 5 years of marriage. Around here (Canada), you're entitled to half the family home regardless of who owned it at the start of the marriage. That would be a powerful bargaining chip if that's the case where you are. Even if you don't intend on asking for that, it can be a big club to get what you are willing to settle for.

Actually, I just noticed you're in Canada! 

http://www.divorceincanada.ca/equalization.htm

Keep in mind I'm not a lawyer, and never played one on TV...

C


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

And check out this forum. Not that the people here aren't great, but this forum is more Canadian focused.

Ottawa Divorce .com Forums

C


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## Niceguy13 (Apr 7, 2011)

No do not take his bargain, hun it sounds like this man used you for cheap labor and a sex slave. I applaud you for not wanting to go after his children's college funds but you married this man, for five years your retirement has been his 401k plan. He wants this let him pay for it. Not saying try to take everything but even your number is to low for what he has and as you did the "books" you know how much you actually saved him a lot of money. Lets just look at this from the employee side orgot you were his wife like he has. Would anyone else do all of that labor for 1grand a month? You are entitled to much much more and I encourage you to go for it.


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## Niceguy13 (Apr 7, 2011)

oh meant to add yeah I felt really accomplished after eating my first meal as well tis a great feeling to know that you "can" eat again. Wait till you hit the point where you sit down and eat so much you can't move then look at your plate and realize its only half of what you used to eat


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## girltrax101 (May 6, 2011)

Hey Pbear...I did subscribe to ottawadivorce..look for me there..same username (I'm really quite original)...lol 
Niceguy...what can I say..from a males perspective you give me hope. I do know I deserve more than I'm asking, but I'm simply not the kind of person to take advantage...No doubt my biggest flaw in times like these. I ate a hot dog last night 'cause the soup stayed down...hot dog didn't :s Feeling light headed lately, and I've got a daughter to take care of, so I am trying.
I will let you know about the lawyers appt today....why do I feel guilty about going and not telling my "husband"??? My stomach is in knots...geez. My head said "YOU have the RIGHT to hear your rights"...my hearts saying, "just take his "offer" and leave with your dignity...what's left of it anyway.


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