# Ladies - do you find performers (e.g. musicians) attractive?



## The-Deceived (Jan 8, 2013)

I'm separated and headed for divorce. I'm a professional musician (guitarist/vocalist). I stopped performing a few years back and focused on writing. Now I am getting back into playing live (no longer stifled by the wife). I've been with my stbxw for 15 years, so dating is new to me. I find that being on stage gives me confidence and is a good conversation starter.

Are you attracted to performers/musicians? Or is this a sign to stay away because of the stereotype? I have an excellent career outside of music, so it's not like I'm a bar bum who can't afford to feed my kids. But a LOT of musicians are this way.

Thoughts?

PS

What's the difference between a guitar player and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of 4.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Ooh ooh....I have one:

Q. What do you call a drummer who doesn't have a girlfriend?

A. Homeless.




ba-dum-bum


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

can't tell a joke to save my life!

I think you're headed for some good times! keep it real and keep it covered!


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## Lordhavok (Mar 14, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> Ooh ooh....I have one:
> 
> Q. What do you call a drummer who doesn't have a girlfriend?
> 
> ...


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I think you're going to have a great time dating  Be smart and have fun!

Don't name drop,it's kinda lame.Even if you know famous musicians,I'd only mention it if she asks.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HaBK0dBV47E


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## The-Deceived (Jan 8, 2013)

ScarletBegonias said:


> I think you're going to have a great time dating  Be smart and have fun!
> 
> Don't name drop,it's kinda lame.Even if you know famous musicians,I'd only mention it if she asks.


That's good advice. Did I mention I hung out with Metallica?


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## The-Deceived (Jan 8, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> can't tell a joke to save my life!
> 
> I think you're headed for some good times! keep it real and keep it covered!


Indeed!


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

The-Deceived said:


> That's good advice. Did I mention I hung out with Metallica?


very cute,you've got jokes


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## The-Deceived (Jan 8, 2013)

ScarletBegonias said:


> very cute,you've got jokes


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## Lordhavok (Mar 14, 2012)

What does a stripper do to her a**hole before going to work? Drops him off at band practice.


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## The-Deceived (Jan 8, 2013)

Lordhavok said:


> What does a stripper do to her a**hole before going to work? Drops him off at band practice.




:smthumbup:


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Yes, I am attracted to musicians, and yes, take it as a sign to stay away!  You have me intrigued, however...


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

Women (and men, for that matter) are attracted to CONFIDENCE. If you feel good about yourself, you will not have any trouble.


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

The truth is that I don't think the environment of a musician is a good one for relationships.

Lot's of times spent in pubs and clubs etc that's a recipe for disaster. 

So that part of it would turn me off.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Of the guys I know who are band musicians, they tend to still believe they are one day going to be "discovered" and become big rock stars, and are past age 40 still having "band practice" in their garages and not paying attention to the rest of their lives (as reported by their wives and girlfriends).

I'm not saying ALL musicians do this....but I have known several and they were all like this. I'm not sure why they all had this in common and am not trying to guess nor even say it is necessarily having to do with them being muscians (ie: maybe the ones I know all just happen to be immature?)

But based on what I have seen (and heard from the wives and girlfriends), I would stay away. To me the biggest turn off would be the still thinking they are going to be "discovered".


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## The-Deceived (Jan 8, 2013)

Faithful Wife said:


> Of the guys I know who are band musicians, they tend to still believe they are one day going to be "discovered" and become big rock stars, and are past age 40 still having "band practice" in their garages and not paying attention to the rest of their lives (as reported by their wives and girlfriends).
> 
> I'm not saying ALL musicians do this....but I have known several and they were all like this. I'm not sure why they all had this in common and am not trying to guess nor even say it is necessarily having to do with them being muscians (ie: maybe the ones I know all just happen to be immature?)
> 
> But based on what I have seen (and heard from the wives and girlfriends), I would stay away. To me the biggest turn off would be the still thinking they are going to be "discovered".


I know the type, and that's common. I'm a rarity in that I have a real job that pays over $100k a year, and I write and produce music for TV and corporate videos. I play in clubs and bars only for fun. I have no desire to become a "rockstar". However I did when I was a younger, more naive person. 

The girl I'm seeing now said the same - it's very rare to meet a musician who's not a total bum.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Then in that case (you), heck yeah, musicians are HOTTT and totally dateable.


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## The-Deceived (Jan 8, 2013)

Faithful Wife said:


> Then in that case (you), heck yeah, musicians are HOTTT and totally dateable.




Maybe I should get a shirt printed up that says "Don't worry, I have a day job".


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## portabledorothy (Mar 19, 2013)

Having dated a few artistic men in the past, I can tell you that artistic men are both insanely hot and romantic and easily can sweep you off your feet. However, after being in a long-term relationship with an artistic type, I also found myself becoming the go-to emotional caretaker of their artistic frustrations, roadblocks, insecurity, etc which run naturally with the creative life. There's nothing more of a turn-off than when you need your man there for you and he's in an even worse place. 

I'm sure you're going to have an amazing time dating, especially with the newfound confidence boost! Just make sure you stay confident in your talents as well


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## The-Deceived (Jan 8, 2013)

portabledorothy said:


> Having dated a few artistic men in the past, I can tell you that artistic men are both insanely hot and romantic and easily can sweep you off your feet. However, after being in a long-term relationship with an artistic type, I also found myself becoming the go-to emotional caretaker of their artistic frustrations, roadblocks, insecurity, etc which run naturally with the creative life. There's nothing more of a turn-off than when you need your man there for you and he's in an even worse place.
> 
> I'm sure you're going to have an amazing time dating, especially with the newfound confidence boost! Just make sure you stay confident in your talents as well


Thanks, and will do!


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## Lordhavok (Mar 14, 2012)

I gave up on being famous a good 10 or 15 years ago. Still in a band, still rehearse weekly, but its just for the music, I enjoy it, and I like the studio and playing live. But the dream is dead.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

My view ....virtually nothing is HOTTER than a Rock star to me in LOOKS & his passion for his Craft ....I am a Music fiend....Love a good Rock Concert...

But on the other side of that coin.... (Generally speaking)... with the Rock musician comes a lifestyle that I would go against every grain of what I would want in a Good man.... If you are one of the ODD ones outside of the norm... that could be amazingly appealing !


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

I've never been attracted to musicians. A lot of my friends were - just wasn't my thing.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

The-Deceived said:


> I'm separated and headed for divorce. I'm a professional musician (guitarist/vocalist). I stopped performing a few years back and focused on writing. Now I am getting back into playing live (no longer stifled by the wife). I've been with my stbxw for 15 years, so dating is new to me. I find that being on stage gives me confidence and is a good conversation starter.
> 
> Are you attracted to performers/musicians? Or is this a sign to stay away because of the stereotype? I have an excellent career outside of music, so it's not like I'm a bar bum who can't afford to feed my kids. But a LOT of musicians are this way.
> 
> ...


This must be a joke post or you're a rhythm guitarist. I used to have the day gig, too. I also had long hair, a V torso, big arms, and drove a corvette. It could have been any of that, but the girls mainly commented on the wrist vibrato. Concentrate on soloing with heavy wrist vibrato. KWIM?

Q: What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians?

A: Drummer


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## LouAnn Poovy (Mar 21, 2013)

Faithful Wife said:


> Of the guys I know who are band musicians, they tend to still believe they are one day going to be "discovered" and become big rock stars, and are past age 40 still having "band practice" in their garages and not paying attention to the rest of their lives (as reported by their wives and girlfriends).
> 
> I'm not saying ALL musicians do this....but I have known several and they were all like this. I'm not sure why they all had this in common and am not trying to guess nor even say it is necessarily having to do with them being muscians (ie: maybe the ones I know all just happen to be immature?)
> 
> But based on what I have seen (and heard from the wives and girlfriends), I would stay away. To me the biggest turn off would be the still thinking they are going to be "discovered".


*So true. I've also know the post discovered ones. Even WORSE. No, I stay as far away from anyone with musical ability, too flighty for me.*


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

My first love was a musician. He was hot the only problem was he was he could barely support himself and that was a turn off. I had a full time job and he slept till 3 in the afternoon. Um no. Lol


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## Waking up to life (Nov 29, 2012)

If you looked like and sounded like Josh Groban, then hell yes, I'd find you attractive.


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## justforfun1222 (Feb 6, 2013)

I was with a musician for 7 years, had 2 kids by him.. even though we are no longer together, he was the most fun person I have ever been around, and there is nothing like having a man that can write and sing a song about you for being SEXY.. but being faithful and being a musician is almost an oxymoron.. lol He was a full-time musician though, just have fun with all it relax and the women will be knocking down your door so to speak..  good luck with it all..


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## Lordhavok (Mar 14, 2012)

Machiavelli
Q: What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians?
A: Drummer[/QUOTE said:


>


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## elizabethdennis (Jan 16, 2013)

I am attracted to musicians as I am a music lover myself. But dating one is a different story. Not unless if he has other job outside music; if you know what I'm saying!


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## The-Deceived (Jan 8, 2013)

Machiavelli said:


> This must be a joke post or you're a rhythm guitarist. I used to have the day gig, too. I also had long hair, a V torso, big arms, and drove a corvette. It could have been any of that, but the girls mainly commented on the wrist vibrato. Concentrate on soloing with heavy wrist vibrato. KWIM?
> 
> Q: What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians?
> 
> A: Drummer


LOL. Nope, I'm a lead guy, and my vibrato is hella wide.


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## The-Deceived (Jan 8, 2013)

justforfun1222 said:


> I was with a musician for 7 years, had 2 kids by him.. even though we are no longer together, he was the most fun person I have ever been around, and there is nothing like having a man that can write and sing a song about you for being SEXY.. but being faithful and being a musician is almost an oxymoron.. lol He was a full-time musician though, just have fun with all it relax and the women will be knocking down your door so to speak..  good luck with it all..


_Almost_ an oxymoron. I was 100% faithful to my wife before she left me.

I am having fun, and I'm pretty relaxed! Cheers!


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## OrangeCrush (Sep 12, 2012)

YES i find musicians incredibly attractive.  but rock music and rock musicians aren't my thing. i like classical musicians. a guy who plays violin, cello, harpsichord, etc. makes me melt and is automatically ten times more attractive than he would be without that talent.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

I do find musicians attractive. However after spending a few years working very closely with musicians, it really made me realize I wouldn't want to date one.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

Waking up to life said:


> If you looked like and sounded like Josh Groban, then hell yes, I'd find you attractive.


Substitute Gavin Rossdale from Bush. Saw them in concert last year, let's just say "Wow!". Musicians have always done it for me way more than actors or athletes.


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## Zig (Oct 6, 2012)

A lot of the answers from women are kind of depressing because they basically confirm that women will sleep with musicians who they know won't be faithful because it's fun when they're young but will then look for a "safe" guy to marry. They'll put up with crap from one guy because he's a musician but not from the guy they married.

I wish I had musical talent.....


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## Waking up to life (Nov 29, 2012)

Zig said:


> A lot of the answers from women are kind of depressing because they basically confirm that *women will sleep with musicians who they know won't be faithful because it's fun when they're young but will then look for a "safe" guy to marry.* They'll put up with crap from one guy because he's a musician but not from the guy they married.
> 
> I wish I had musical talent.....


The OP asked if we find musicians _attractive_. It didn't ask "Would you sleep with them?" Seriously, you paint a very shallow picture of women by making such assumptions.


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## Suspecting (Jan 8, 2013)

We should ask Gene Simmons.


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## Zig (Oct 6, 2012)

Waking up to life said:


> The OP asked if we find musicians _attractive_. It didn't ask "Would you sleep with them?" Seriously, you paint a very shallow picture of women by making such assumptions.


I'm talking about what people answered in their posts not what the OP wrote.


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## Waking up to life (Nov 29, 2012)

I only read one post that might be taken that way (I guess)...



justforfun1222 said:


> I was with a musician for 7 years, had 2 kids by him.. even though we are no longer together, he was the most fun person I have ever been around, and there is nothing like having a man that can write and sing a song about you for being SEXY.. but being faithful and being a musician is almost an oxymoron.. lol He was a full-time musician though, just have fun with all it relax and the women will be knocking down your door so to speak..  good luck with it all..


In fact, the majority of the answers were more of a "no thanks" kind of answer as far as getting involved with a musician. I'm not sure what was said that caused you to conclude that "women will sleep with musicians who they know won't be faithful because it's fun when they're young but will then look for a "safe" guy to marry." But no matter, no one is dying here...I won't lose any sleep over it. Just curious what made you think that.


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## plasmasunn (Apr 3, 2013)

When I was a teen, I was crazy about a musician friend...he was, however, determined to be a career musician (the type who wouldn't hold down a job because it hampered his creativity....ugh, please.) That mentality turned me off, no matter how awesome his rendition of Purple Rain was.

However, years later, I'm now married to an insanely talented musician. My man plays guitar, piano, trumpet, ukele and is learning mandolin. He doesn't do it for aliving, he does it because he loves it. (Though, he's so good, I'm actually the one who encourages him to share his playing with the world, but he remains pretty steadfast in keeping it as a personal hobby.) But, I LOVE just listening to him play...at least once a week, we just turn off the TV, chill out and I listen to him play and sing. I swoon every time (even after 5 years of marriage.)

Yes, I find musicians insanely attractive. A man who can play a guitar and sing is always enjoyable. (I mean good songs...if my husband was like "surprise! I just learned Your Body is a Wonderland by John Mayer!" I would gag...though Mayer's a great guitarist...just sadly awful songs.) 

But I've known lots of musicians who are annoying as all get out. You know the kind...."Hey, I play guitar...now EVERYONE LISTEN TO ME PLAY MY GUITAR!!!!" And they really get under my skin. "OK, OK, I get it, you're talented, I'm so proud of you." So, once that confidence turns to arrogance, it's a huge turn off.

OP, sounds like you have the best of both worlds. A good solid job, with gigs as a hobby...to me, it's the perfect blend. But...beware of bar skanks...they will be ALLLLLL over you.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Are you kidding mate? This is was like my cousin's game! He just took his guitar out and then this happens:










Yup, skin starts showing!
Get out there and start serenading! There's even a word for seduction with music!


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## Lordhavok (Mar 14, 2012)

Yeah, everything is all oooh and aaah at first, then the new wears off and you have all kinds of other problems to deal with. Like huge amounts of jealousy and territorial boundries. She considers every chick on the face of the planet a threat to her and thinks everybody wants to bed you. And speaking from experience, this is not at all true. Get the third degree for talking to someone, having a pic taken, signing something, shy away from the people then you get *****ed at by other band members for shunning fans. The list goes on and on, what do I know, I'm just a drummer.


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## The-Deceived (Jan 8, 2013)

Lordhavok said:


> The list goes on and on, what do I know, I'm just a drummer.


:lol:


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## The-Deceived (Jan 8, 2013)

It's been working rather well for me, I must say. I'm usually in my own little world when on stage, but I've been making a habit of making eye contact with the gals on the dance floor. If you can make a woman shake her ass, that's a good thing, I reckon.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

I love music, have it on all the time, love dancing too.

But musicians, 'meh' they don't do it for me.


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## The-Deceived (Jan 8, 2013)

Holland said:


> I love music, have it on all the time, love dancing too.
> 
> But musicians, 'meh' they don't do it for me.


So you're telling me there's a chance...


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## Suspecting (Jan 8, 2013)

Guitarists have strong and flexible fingers.


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