# My wife doesnt want to be with me anymore.



## romanojohn07 (Apr 8, 2012)

I'm 22 years old my wife is 20. we've been married for a year and have a 7 month old son. I admit thoughout our marriage i haven't treated her the best. Lately I've been going out with friends and spending more money than needed to be spent. Our problems started whe she was pregnant and i left her in the hospital so i could go to work. At the time i didn't see it as a problem but now i realize i should have been there for her. 

About 2 weeks ago she left me and went to stay with her mom. A few days ago I asked her if she was planning on coming back or if we should call it quits. She gives me the rings back and tells me that she cant be with me anymore.

for the 2 weeks that we were seperated she was and still is talking to another guy. She says she does have feelings for him. 

I've been trying to mend the relationship but all she wants to be is friends. Suggested marriage councling and she want nothing to do with it. I still love her as much as I did when we got married and i'm willing to anything to change her mind.

what I'm asking for is advise on how to deal with the situation. How do I get over her and move on. If anyone can help me out with any advise it would be greatly appreciated.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Sorry brother but you have been replaced. The stability and security you provided is gone and until the OM (other man) is out of the picture you are in a up hill battle.

There is one thing you do have control over and that is your self. What I mean is how you behave especially infront of your WW (wayward wife).

What works best for many here is DO NOT BEG FOR YOUR MARRIAGE and even if you were the best husband in the world, at 20 yrs old your WW would have found men besides her husband to validate her.

See it her issue, and until the OM is out of the picture and she stops all contact with him the dynamics of the marriage will be greatly effected.

So, right now your wife is in this fog. A fog that rewrites the history of the marriage, the fog that makes you look like the bad guy, the fog in the belief that the grass is greener on the other side.

This fog is generated by the OM hence until he is gone she will be gone.

My advise, do not beg, do not say your sorry, distance your self and show her....well fake the fact that you are happy for her and show her the confidence that you will move on with out her.

This perception along with doing the things that better your self for your self (not for her) will show her a new and different you. 

Hopefully this perception will make her second guess her choices. Hopefully she will think twice about the dicisions she is making. Me and you both know what those choices are, it just makes her feel less guilty in being with OM when she is in her fog.

Unlees its about the kid and until she stops all contact with OM you will move on..that you have control over.

She will do what she wants soon she will regret the path she is going down. Especially if she sees you moving on.

She will want what she can't have, she will want what she is about to loose.

In short, no you will not just be friends, and no you will not tolorate your WW with OM.

It will be up to her to make the changes to keep you, for now you are doing your own changes for your self , for your kid, and for the next women that will help you instead of going to OM to escape.

BTW, this affair was going on longer then you think, it was just a matter of time for her get a commitment from her OM.

She's young and in a fantasy, it time to just let her go with a smile on your face. The hard part will be when she come crawling back and realizes the grass isn't always greener. Then you will have to deside if you want to be 2nd choice.

I hope this gaves you some perspective on what she is up to and how you need to handle your self.


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## FrankKissel (Nov 14, 2011)

the guy said:


> Sorry brother but you have been replaced. The stability and security you provided is gone and until the OM (other man) is out of the picture you are in a up hill battle.
> 
> There is one thing you do have control over and that is your self. What I mean is how you behave especially infront of your WW (wayward wife).
> 
> ...


Wait, wait, wait.
The OP says he went out too often with his buddies, spent money foolishly, bailed on his wife when she was in the hospital ... And you say she's leaving the "stability and security he provided."
You and I have very, very different definitions of stability and security.

Bad news, OP. You were lousy as a husband (not surprising, given that you were too young to marry in the first place) and your wife is deciding to move on as a result. The guy is right in the sense that begging does you no good. Show you've changed and maybe she'll come back. If not, it's a harsh lesson learned and hopefully you won't repeat those mistakes. Either way, for your kid's sake (and your chances of having a healthy relationship with your kid) it's best that you at the very least forge a cordial relationship with mom.
Best of luck to you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I was the same way, and my WW could have left. Any way waiting a year before dating and confussing the kid about who dady is would have been the mature thing to do....well never mind!

I think my big point I was trying to make is that I felt romans wife left him for OM. The reality is his wife will continue to run into the same kind of guy/guys at her age. 

IMHO she found OM and replaced him.


She could have had healthier boundries for her marriage and yes I agree he and I were both crappy husbands and in that case its easier to replace us then do the hard work and move alone.

I agree they are young, but at the end of the day you would have to agree that her finding OM so soon was not healthy.

Which leads me to think that when it comes to fo better or for worse it just easier to run into another mans arms when one is available.

I do stand correct however, the wording " security and stablity" was out of line and even roman would agree to that. 

I still believe if OP did some research he would find the new guy wasn't so new.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Do the 180 and go dark on your wife. It is the only way to protect yourself emotionally and move on.

The more you contact her or chase her, the faster she will run away from you.

The link is just below:


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