# Incompatibility and depression



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Some of you may be familiar with my backstory. Not too much different from many here, so I'll spare you the gory details. Suffice to say--LD wife, I'm probably medium-high myself.

After years of struggling with the issue of incompatibility (drive difference, extreme difficulty with orgasm on her part, intermittent performance problems on mine) I have been also struggling with depression. I don't know if it's the chicken or the egg. They may even be unrelated--who knows?

I have an appointment later this week to see a doctor where I'm going to ask to be put on an SSRI. My honest hope at this point is that it will kill two birds with one stone. Lift my depression while simultaneously killing my drive.

I've entertained this thought before, but I had been holding out hope that things might improve with some effort on both of our parts, but that hope is waning fast.

I'm exhausted from the drama, and sex now evokes as many negative feelings in me as positive. I just want this stage of my life behind me.

Has anyone taken this tact before? I realize there will probably be some "don't do it!" responses, but I need to take care of the depression anyway. It might be too late to save my sex life, but maybe I can still salvage my sanity and hopefully my relationship.


----------



## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Fozzy said:


> Some of you may be familiar with my backstory. Not too much different from many here, so I'll spare you the gory details. Suffice to say--LD wife, I'm probably medium-high myself.
> 
> After years of struggling with the issue of incompatibility (drive difference, extreme difficulty with orgasm on her part, intermittent performance problems on mine) I have been also struggling with depression. I don't know if it's the chicken or the egg. They may even be unrelated--who knows?
> 
> ...


You can salvage your sex life. Your not dead are you? Until you are dead you can decide to resume your sexlife with another person.


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

I agree, but I'm not leaving my kids. I totally get divorce is an option, but it's not one i'm looking at right now.


----------



## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

Sorry Fozzy. You do need to treat the depression. It might not affect your drive like you think it will. However hopefully you will get back to feeling like yourself.

I'm not one to talk of course, being in a similar situation. I find myself bargaining with life as well. I have thrown myself into other things and have given DH the cold shoulder because I don't want to deal with sex any more. He has not even noticed. Or not noticed more than to say sorry we haven't been having sex. It's because you've been gone from 7-9 on weeknights. 

I don't have any wise words but I empathize. You aren't alone in any case.


----------



## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

Treat the depression for the sake of getting your mental clarity back. Likely your PCP will give you an easy prescription for some kind of SSRI but you may find that it doesn't make you feel any different at all...or you may even feel worse. They take a long time to work and it takes a lot of tweaking to get the right dosage. It took me 3 months to feel even minimally better and around 6 months to feel normal. 

It's not an easy fix but if you are committed to the end goal of feeling better it's worth it. Most times it takes medication plus counseling to truly get better. 

The sex drive may or may not be affected. Don't go into the treatment expecting certain results or you will be disappointed. 

However, you will most likely gain mental clarity and be able to distance yourself a bit from the raw emotions...which is what I find most beneficial; I no longer feel overwhelmed and hopeless, I've gained back my ability to analyze and make confident decisions. That can be the best "side effect" for a troublesome marriage.


----------



## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

Why not try to treat the depression alone first to see if that might help everything else? Some anti-depressants do not lower your drive.


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Philat said:


> Why not try to treat the depression alone first to see if that might help everything else? Some anti-depressants do not lower your drive.


A lot of the friction in our relationship is caused by the desire discrepancy. If I can eliminate that, it seems like it would be a benefit for both of us.


----------



## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

I was on antidepressants for 1.5 years. My experience was that it had no effect on sex drive one way or the other. It supressed ejaculation so I could go for long time without ej.

it did get me through the worst mentally eventually.

also, it tends to blunt clarity. Thats part if how they work. They supress emotion and my dream life and creativity declined.


----------



## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

You WANT to kill your sex drive? I guess a little Salt Peter in the iced tea would do that! 

But how about instead getting her to have wild rip-your-shirt-off sex instead?


----------



## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

If many of us could get our spouses to have wild rip your shirt off sex we wouldn't be here on this board for advice or comisseration.

That's what fozzy wants. She is incapable of providing. She's caused him to go almost a year without any sex. 

For those of us who.have good marriages aside from the sex part - you do try to find ways to reconcile the problem area. Either she's going to have to turn it up or he's going to have to turn it down. He's been trying for years to get her to turn it up so now he is looking at the other option.

I get it.


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

For clarification, we're not completely sexless. She will have sex on occasion, but it's for my benefit. She won't initiate, and she doesn't seem to get anything out of it, which in turn makes me feel like crap about the entire thing.


----------



## JoeyJoeJoe7 (Aug 5, 2014)

First time poster here and have just been lurking to this point but had to chime in. I totally get where the OP is coming from and have had the same thought myself re: depression treatment/libido reduction. I've been frustrated for so long, now I'm having mostly negative thoughts about sex. Personally, we go so long without (6 mths+) and I just give up on it. Then when we do actually have sex sex and I enjoy it...only to go back to none again. I find it very hard on my psyche.


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

JoeyJoeJoe7 said:


> First time poster here and have just been lurking to this point but had to chime in. I totally get where the OP is coming from and have had the same thought myself re: depression treatment/libido reduction. I've been frustrated for so long, now I'm having mostly negative thoughts about sex. Personally, we go so long without (6 mths+) and I just give up on it. Then when we do actually have sex sex and I enjoy it...only to go back to none again. I find it very hard on my psyche.


That's just it. I'm not even really enjoying it anymore. I've gotten it so wrapped up in feelings of guilt and anxiety, it's just a source of stress on me now. The physical drive keeps me thinking about it, but it usually ends up badly.


----------



## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

Me too. Even though I wasn't having orgasms I still enjoyed sex and found it pleasurable.

It's started to cause me anxiety from the get go now and the resentment I have built up is pretty weighty at this point. 

The last time I had sex with DH it started out promising, felt like something we were sharing, but then he finished quickly, said he was sorry and went to sleep. I felt something break in me and since then I have wanted to avoid sex with him altogether. 

Over decades it does irreparable harm. You reach a point of preferring no sex. And yet you still have your own libido to deal with.


----------



## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

Sorry Fozzy. I've always thought you were a helluva good guy, and it sucks that you have to deal with this.

First things first. Depression is in the same general category as any other medical condition, and needs to be treated. In my experience, ADs, counseling, and exercise is the very best combo.

Regardless of the effects on your libido, and regardless of whether those effects may be welcome, the priority needs to be on getting your thought processes sorted out and kicking depression's ass.


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

GTdad said:


> Sorry Fozzy. I've always thought you were a helluva good guy, and it sucks that you have to deal with this.
> 
> First things first. Depression is in the same general category as any other medical condition, and needs to be treated. In my experience, ADs, counseling, and exercise is the very best combo.
> 
> Regardless of the effects on your libido, and regardless of whether those effects may be welcome, the priority needs to be on getting your thought processes sorted out and kicking depression's ass.


I think this is the best way to approach it also. Like I referenced before, it's difficult for me to tell if this is a chicken or egg scenario. Am I depressed because of the relationship, or is the relationship really suffering due to my depression? Is my behavior turning her off because of something related to my depression? Are they totally unrelated?

The thing about it is, that the depression tries to make me believe that the worst possible scenario is always likely the truth. Logically I know that's not true, but it's hell to deal with in my own head.

Hopefully I'll be able to get enough clarity to be able to re-evaluate where I'm at some day, before I make a decision I'll regret based on false beliefs.


----------



## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Fozzy, my heart goes out to you! I simply cannot imagine a world where a healthy sex drive needs to be medicated out of existence in order to promote harmony.

Please please please, do not go on antidepressant unless you are also in therapy.

You asked about chicken or egg, the answer is it doesn't matter.

Once you are hooked up with a good therapist, wading through these issues will be less overwhelming and in time you'll have clearer thinking.

Many SSRI's negatively affect libido in some people, but not in everyone. Some SSRI's like Wellbutrin are just as likely to increase libido as decrease.

What's important is that your depression be treated with all guns locked and loaded and that means meds and therapy with a good therapist. And they're not all good! So shop around!


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

I'll be looking in to therapy after the new year. Finances should be clearing up more then and I've already planned to make it a priority once I can afford it.


----------



## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

MissScarlett said:


> The last time I had sex with DH it started out promising, felt like something we were sharing, but then he finished quickly, said he was sorry and went to sleep. I felt something break in me and since then I have wanted to avoid sex with him altogether.
> 
> Over decades it does irreparable harm. You reach a point of preferring no sex. And yet you still have your own libido to deal with.


MissScarlett, I am so sorry to hear this. 

He said he was sorry and went to sleep....and what did you do? Laid there and stewed?

What would have been a better response on your part?

Your being hurt by your own passivity. How dare he roll over and go to sleep after everything you have been through and all the talks you byes have had about this? The therapy session together....

I bet you fixed his breakfast the next morning too.


----------



## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Fozzy said:


> I'll be looking in to therapy after the new year. Finances should be clearing up more then and I've already planned to make it a priority once I can afford it.


I know the state of mental health care in this country is abysmal, but your health IS a priority! Even if you go once a month to start out, it's important, really important!


----------



## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

I did go to sleep that night but had a blunt conversation the next day. I had already reminded him the previous week that I hadn't had an orgasm since June. I told him I thought we needed counseling, I still did not feel wanted, the chronic issue in our sex life. (This conversation various other points as well.)

It's rather a catch 22 because what I want is to feel wanted by him, to feel desired. If that isn't there I can't get anywhere near orgasm. I can make him go through the motions. I could have demanded he not go to sleep until I had enough - an He would have done it. But what good is it if you have to make someone be attentive? It's not what I want, to make him. I want him to want to and he doesn't.

P.s. He maintained that he does want me and does desire me and he thought I had been having orgasms, including the night before. Which is ridiculous b.s. and a lame excuse. Apparently from now on if I make any noise at all during sex I will have to follow up with - fyi not an orgasm! It doesn't happen accident, for crying out loud! 

Sorry, fozzy, for the hijack.


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Not a hijack at all. I think our stories have some interesting parallels.


----------



## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I completely get you MissScarlett! You and Fozzy do have some interesting parallels. You're both with sexually constipated spouses. You both need to feel desired and you both are suffering as a result of trying to content yourselves with not.

And you're both funny!

"FYI, that moan, not an orgasm!" LOL!


----------



## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

If I'm cumming you are going to know it. For one because you had to put some work in and for two because I can't help but say "omg! I'm cumming!" Because I am surprised. Lmao. It's pretty hard to miss.


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

MissScarlett said:


> If I'm cumming you are going to know it. For one because you had to put some work in and for two because I can't help but say "omg! I'm cumming!" Because I am surprised. Lmao. It's pretty hard to miss.




My wife's first (only) orgasm was like "oh... i had one......it was weak."


----------



## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

Perhaps we should hook Mr Scarlett and Mrs Fozzy up. 

Miss Scarlett is just being bitter this week.


----------



## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

*Re: Re: Incompatibility and depression*



MissScarlett said:


> I did go to sleep that night but had a blunt conversation the next day. I had already reminded him the previous week that I hadn't had an orgasm since June. I told him I thought we needed counseling, I still did not feel wanted, the chronic issue in our sex life. (This conversation various other points as well.)
> 
> It's rather a catch 22 because what I want is to feel wanted by him, to feel desired. If that isn't there I can't get anywhere near orgasm. I can make him go through the motions. I could have demanded he not go to sleep until I had enough - an He would have done it. But what good is it if you have to make someone be attentive? It's not what I want, to make him. I want him to want to and he doesn't.
> 
> ...


This makes me sad for you. 

I have been following your story from the very beginning and I had so hoped that after all the hard work, things were improving.  

I have posted a few times here and there that I am in the same boat of faking and not knowing whether to admit it and stop, or keep the status quo...your story is a big sway when I think about potentially walking your road. I don't know if I could handle it right now.

For what it's worth, I think you did the right thing making the decision that you did. 

I don't have a satisfying sex life either, but the difference is that I don't really care. The SSRI did dampen my drive significantly and I was only average drive to begin with. I know that's not a side effect everyone experiences but for me it was true. I also take a pretty hefty dose which probably makes a difference.


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Don't fake. Coming from a guy with the cards stacked against him, I wouldn't want that. Honesty is always best.


----------



## Anon1111 (May 29, 2013)

Hey Fozzy-- 

I totally get where you are coming from. My story is similar to yours. I recently went on SSRIs for a little over a year. I was also in therapy simultaneously. The biggest benefit for me was the reduction in libido that the drug gave me. It allowed me to feel more in control of myself and helped me to avoid being/feeling rejected by my wife. 

After a while, I felt like I had reached a new equilibrium. Not exactly happy, but tolerable. Even though my sex life with my wife never improved, it stopped being a constant battle. There would be occassional flare ups, but I was more consistently able to take a step back and be mindful about whether it was really worth it to fight. 

Once I felt pretty secure on the path I was on, I stopped taking the drug and stopped therapy. I stopped therapy because I felt it was getting really redundant-- talking about the same thing over and over. For the drug, even though initially it allowed me to be calmer and more reflective, it also blunted the joyful times. While I appreciated feeling calmer, I wanted to have that feeling of joy more frequently.

I've been off the drug for about 4 months now. I feel like I have been able to remain reflective and calmer. I think the drug helped to give me a push in that direction and now I have learned that I can make the decision to act in this way. It is more of a conscious decision now though and I do have to remind myself to take a step back sometimes. So far, I think I have been pretty successful at this.

At the same time, when I am having a good time, I feel a lot better without the drug. There is not a film over my mind as there was before that really prevented me from truly enjoying things.

All in all, I think it was a helpful experience and I am glad I did it. I would not want to be on those drugs for the rest of my life though.

Hope this helps.


----------



## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

That's what the drugs do in my experience and I believe how they work. They blunt your emotions so you don't feel as deeply. You don't hurt as much (if it's the right drug and working) but you don't feel the same joy. the lows are not as low and the highs not as high.

That's why I weaned myself off as soon as I felt stabilized after a few months. Nothing bad came of the weaning off. I watched myself carefully and weaned myself off slowly.

That was I believe about 2006, the last time. Hadn't needed them since. 

they can get you through the worst if they work for you.


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Anon1111 said:


> Hey Fozzy--
> 
> I totally get where you are coming from. My story is similar to yours. I recently went on SSRIs for a little over a year. I was also in therapy simultaneously. The biggest benefit for me was the reduction in libido that the drug gave me. It allowed me to feel more in control of myself and helped me to avoid being/feeling rejected by my wife.
> 
> ...




This is exactly the outcome I'm looking for. I don't want to be reliant on them for the rest of my life either, but right now I need that "push".


----------



## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

Similar boat as you and Miss Scarlett Fozzy. Dont believe my wife is as "bad" as yours, but still makes me hate my libido. Even did research to see if there was any reliable suppliments I could take to essentially turn off my sex drive. Of course there arent.

Makes me wonder if my (our) spouse(s) would feel terrible and want to actually try to have a good sex life more if she/they knew what we were willing to do to make the feelings go away. 

Nah. Just be pissed that its about sex again. 

At times it makes me really sad/angry that we have to even think thiis way.


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Just got my scrip for Celexa. Wish me luck


----------



## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Good luck Fozzy! Did the doc go over side effects and how to taper off? Are you supposed to check in, at least by phone with in a couple of weeks?


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Yes, he said celexa is safe to stop immediately if the side effects get out of hand. I'm going back in a few weeks from now for a follow up (and full physical) :moon:


----------



## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Fun!

I hope this gives you the peace and contentment you're looking for!


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Just wanted to relay a story..similar to your question...I have a good friend, she opened up to me about a year ago about how LOW her H's libido is.. and it was DRIVING HER CRAZY.. she was thinking of leaving him.. I really FELT for her -because this was her MID LIFE SURGE and I well knew what that was all about.. 

She kept saying to me ,she didn't know what to do.. this was her 3rd marriage.. they had a little girl..she didn't have the means to leave.. she was STUCK...she wanted to stick it out but she was really suffering.. he was working a lot of hours.. but she even said he was always like that.. he is a once or twice a month kinda guy (shocked me - he has muscles & all, just didn't seem to fit the profile, so you never know!)

THEN.. time passed and she had some health issues.. a surgery... then needed to get on an anti-depressant... I forget which one at the moment.. but the next time we sat down and talked.. WOW...what a difference.. she said they are DOING GREAT...couldn't be better...how helpful he is with the kids... how much she loved him.. how he took care of her when she was sick... still the sex is the same...but since her meds took these cravings away... she was Happy/ content !...

It was a great side effect for her situation anyway!

I think I'd grow wholly resentful and very angry in the situation you find yourself in...I'd be a NASTY mother to live with... some get angry, some get depressed.. same emotion they say...

I can see why it destroys marriages..

I feel our sex drives are a blessing to bring us together , craving that intimacy with each other....(though it can be given in other ways too)...then sometimes it's just not working out as it should.... and we can't demand or WILL the other ...it sounds you love her enough to do what you have to do.. it's honorable.. but also very sacrificial.. almost too much (in my opinion)... I hope she understands how much you love her !


----------



## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

MissScarlett said:


> It's started to cause me anxiety from the get go now and the resentment I have built up is pretty weighty at this point.
> 
> The last time I had sex with DH it started out promising, felt like something we were sharing, but then he finished quickly, said he was sorry and went to sleep. I felt something break in me and since then I have wanted to avoid sex with him altogether.


Oh my gosh, maybe I'm just feeling sensitive today but this seriously made me want to punch your husband in the nose... then turn around and punch mine. 

How can they do things like that to us? 

I'm crying for you.


----------



## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

I totally get it Fozzy. If you can't raise their desire to meet yours it seems like the the best thing to do would be to lower yours. 

I've looked into pills which would lower my libido with no luck. Like SimplyAmorous' friend, I feel like my marriage would be a LOT better without sex. 

I go back and forth. Some days I'm proud that I have such a high libido, I think, wow what a blessing I have. But most times I resent it and hate it. 

I hope the medicine will make you feel better! Keep us updated.


----------



## I Don't Know (Oct 8, 2013)

I recently got some welburtin to try to help with RJ feelings. I'm not really sure if it's helping yet, only been 3 weeks, but it hasn't hurt my sex drive at all. Not sure if it's the meds or not but the last week has been pretty good. I still have "jealous" thoughts but they pass quicker, they don't turn to anger, and I don't feel compelled to talk about each and every one of them. That is a huge thing. 

I hate that people would feel like they need to dampen their drive. I understand it, but it makes me sad that is so. Good luck Fozzy.


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I Don't Know said:


> *I recently got some welburtin to try to help with RJ feelings. I'm not really sure if it's helping yet, only been 3 weeks, but it hasn't hurt my sex drive at all. *Not sure if it's the meds or not but the last week has been pretty good. I still have "jealous" thoughts but they pass quicker, they don't turn to anger, and I don't feel compelled to talk about each and every one of them. That is a huge thing.


 Sounds about right.. Welbutrin is one of the few that DO NOT affect sex drive, many say it gets better....

Does Wellbutrin increase your sex drive?

The Antidepressant Drug Best for Sex | Psychology Today

The beginning of this article says >>
"Antidepressants usually help, but they have a distressing downside, sexual side effects: loss of erotic interest, arousal and erection problems, and particularly trouble having orgasms. Fortunately, one antidepressant rarely causes sexual side effects—Wellbutrin (bupropion)".

Actually, Wellbutrin Can Make You "Happy, Horny" and Not Hungry


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

In case there are any misconceptions here, I'm not taking the AD solely to kill my libido. As has been pointed out, you can't rely on that happening regardless. The AD is first and foremost to help depression.

Killing libido would be...a welcome side effect.

It's not something I'm doing lightly, especially since it's also a very real possibility with these things that the side effects don't always go away after you stop taking them.

After a few days on it now, I can definitely tell a difference in my anxiety level, but not necessarily my overall mood. I'll have to give it time to know for sure.

I just want to feel like a human being again.


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Just wanted to drop an update on this. A little over 2 months in now on the Celexa, and increased dosage from 10mg to 20mg at the one month mark. 

I feel about 1000% better.

The first couple of weeks were incredibly bad. The stuff really put me through the wringer until it stabilized. After that, i spent several more weeks just waiting. Then about 2 weeks ago it's like something just clicked in my head. Like my mind just unlocked the cage it's been in for years now. And just like that, everything seems better. Not ideal, and not perfect, but BETTER. Manageable even.

Work doesn't seem soul-sucking anymore. I like spending time with my kids more than ever. And yes, the sex has been better. No actually it's been f'ing amazing. I think the reason for that is that I've been able to stop ruminating on my own failures as a human being long enough to actually enjoy it. My confidence is starting to return. I'm more in the drivers seat, making things happen sexually. While I still wish my wife would step up more and initiate, I'm feeling a lot more ok making my needs a priority, and she actually seems to be responding to that.

For the first time in a long while, I'm.....hopeful.


----------



## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

Man, that is absolutely terrific to hear.

This is the kind of update that makes this place worthwhile.


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Thanks. My biggest regret I think is that it took me so long to realize that I WAS depressed. It had been going on for so long, I guess I just thought that's how life was supposed to be. My version of "ok" and the rest of the worlds version of it were so out of sync that it's not even funny. It was hard to process. I'm slowly starting to realize how far gone I've been.


----------



## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

I did the same. It's sort of self-perpetuating in a way. The worse you feel, the more you isolate, the more hopeless you feel ... rinse, wash and repeat.

It sometimes seems like a miracle that severely depressed people can break that cycle. And I'm celebrating your miracle, brother.


----------



## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

One amazing thing to me is how poorly it is understood how seratonin function plays a role in depression and anxiety chemically. Nor how these wonder drugs help synthesize seratonin uptake inhibitors to ease depression. The research up to now is more or less 'that they work'.

Scientists are trying to understand how and why, but so far, the research has reached a lot of dead ends.

But they work!!

I was clinically depressed after my brother died in 2002. It took prozac (a SUI) about 4 -5 weeks to get me feeling better. 

After that, the best healer is time.

good for you fozzy. depression sucks!


----------



## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

jorgegene said:


> One amazing thing to me is how poorly it is understood how seratonin function plays a role in depression and anxiety chemically. Nor how these wonder drugs help synthesize seratonin uptake inhibitors to ease depression. The research up to now is more or less 'that they work'.
> 
> Scientists are trying to understand how and why, but so far, the research has reached a lot of dead ends.
> 
> ...


Sexual intercourse naturally boosts the mental mindstate, staving off depression.

All the depression meds would blunt my feeling for life, I know it cuts down on the pain and tragedy but that's a terrible side effect.

It's good to have a healthy living including a mentally healthy living.


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

treyvion said:


> *Sexual intercourse naturally boosts the mental mindstate, staving off depression.*
> All the depression meds would blunt my feeling for life, I know it cuts down on the pain and tragedy but that's a terrible side effect.
> 
> It's good to have a healthy living including a mentally healthy living.


See that's the thing though. I really think my depression has been a contributing factor in my sex life being miserable. Sex could absolutely put me in a better mood. Sometimes. But then other times it became such a source of anxiety, paranoia (god what does she think of me after THAT miserable performance?) and other negative feelings that it just ended in bad sex and bad moods. I'm not having those thoughts any longer. Sex is fun again.

Plus, the meds seem to be making me last longer. Bonus!


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Waka Waka!


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Just texted the wife about the horrifying and borderline disrespectful things we're going to be doing tonight. Without getting into too much detail it involves breathmints and eye protection.

This is the kind of thing I would not have been able to make myself pull the trigger on a couple of months ago. I'd have been an anxiety ridden wreck. Now, I just do it.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Ummm....what?


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Killed it.

/highfive


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Umm.....ok.


----------



## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

just seen this... I've done the same... yes, it worked, but the fundamental problem remained... i.e. very little sex. My wife is on them too...

I stopped after about 3 years because they made me feel like a zombie. It's great at the beginning (well, after the first two weeks - which are hell), but then I was missing the feeling of being alive. To have real emotions... I jacked them and never regretted it. My sex drive returned and all the problems. Which then lead to the situation we are in. But it was time to face up the truth... good luck with them!


----------



## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Fozzy said:


> Just texted the wife about the horrifying and borderline disrespectful things we're going to be doing tonight. Without getting into too much detail it involves breathmints and eye protection.
> 
> This is the kind of thing I would not have been able to make myself pull the trigger on a couple of months ago. I'd have been an anxiety ridden wreck. Now, I just do it.


Shall we guess?

Tango lesson in the science lab?


----------

