# Am I weird?



## COguy

I was going to bring this up in my individual counseling but haven't made my appointment and it will probably be a few weeks.

Was married for 8 years, loved my wife. Marriage was over June 10th, when I found out she had lied about her first affair and was a psycho wh*re.

It's been not even 3 months, I literally do not think about her at all. I'm not sad, actually I'm like beaming happy all day long. I'm loving my life and am just excited every day I wake up.

I see people having hurting hearts and what not, and I wonder if it's normal to just let someone go like that in such a short period of time. D-day last year was kind of the same way, like I was mostly over it after a month or so and didn't really think about it after I processed everything. I thought about it when she started acting like she was cheating again, and for good reason.

When we split up, I was tore up, real bad, for like two weeks. And it took about a month before I could sleep at night and felt somewhat emotionally stable. But after that, it was like BOOM! I never looked back and hardly feel any sadness at all about it.

I guess I'm wondering if it's possible to get over something like that fairly quickly, or if I'm going to get punched in the face one day when it all hits me. I'm certainly not running away or shying away from my feelings, I always took time to feel grief and pain when it all went down and try to process it.


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## Conrad

What about the hate fvck?


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## oneMOreguy

some folks are just better are compartmentalizing emotions than others.......plus maybe you had a strong dose of starting to detach over the last year or so. Just make sure you are not burying it deep inside because it can burst out when least expected.


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## YinPrincess

^ :iagree:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Almostrecovered

Can't be weirder than me


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## Almostrecovered

But that isn't saying much


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## oneMOreguy

Almostrecovered said:


> Can't be weirder than me


..wanna compare notes...LOL plus my wife's input would probably tip the scales......:rofl:


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## COguy

Conrad said:


> What about the hate fvck?


Not a hate f*. Just passion. And there was absolutely no missed feelings from my side, other than confusion on why she sucked in bed for so long.


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## nice777guy

It is possible that this could still hit you - but depending on how bad things had been and for how long, it makes total sense that you'd be happier without the drama.

If you feel good, don't spend too much time questioning it!


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## ScarletBegonias

I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life so far.But I catch myself romanticizing the past and that is so unhealthy.I'd love to be like you and not look back at the good memories or the bad ones.I don't think it's weird at all.


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## COguy

ScarletBegonias said:


> I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life so far.But I catch myself romanticizing the past and that is so unhealthy.I'd love to be like you and not look back at the good memories or the bad ones.I don't think it's weird at all.


Maybe it was easier for me because I had to accept very early in the process that the entire past was a lie (or not entirely genuine).

I mean I think about some of the good memories, but to me they are all kind of like a lie. I guess I don't feel like romanticizing something that wasn't 100% genuine.

I'm probably a little euphoric right now. I'm having so much fun living life that I don't even want to go back and think about that stuff, it would be a waste of my time. I'm sure that won't last forever but I forced myself to ride the emotional wave when I was sad, so I might as well enjoy the wave when things are going well.

I also think that her acting so hatefully and crazy makes it easier. If she was being super sweet and nice it would definitely make me act a little more fondly to the past. In that sense, I'm glad she went so far off the deep end. Now that I have my swagger back, I think I'm in a much better place to make a rational decision about relationships.


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## ScarletBegonias

@ swagger


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## COguy

ScarletBegonias said:


> @ swagger




I knew when I put on my short shorts and went dancing that the ladies were in trouble.


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## vi_bride04

ScarletBegonias said:


> I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life so far.But I catch myself romanticizing the past and that is so unhealthy.I'd love to be like you and not look back at the good memories or the bad ones.I don't think it's weird at all.


Same here. I have been having my moments the past couple of days but other than that I am so much happier. Just have to realize its not healthy to dwell on past events since nothing will change and I am moving on. Its been about 3 months since I called it quits due to an EA starting. 

Realizing he will not change his cheating ways makes it alot easier to detach and move on.

Maybe we were fooling ourselves so long thinking we were in a healthy, happy relationship that now that they are over, the weight is lifted and we are just able to be happy and move on since we are being true to ourselves. And that feels great, IMO


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## wiigirl

Almostrecovered said:


> Can't be weirder than me


Or me! 








_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## IndiaInk

Can I just say:

I'm so sorry you're going through this...it seems so unfair.

There's a post of yours from the _"does he really want to see me naked"_ thread...that I thought was so lovely I saved it, because I knew I'd want to read it again.

I'm sorry your wife didn't appreciate you...it's her loss.

Regarding your question: No...you're not weird...what you feel is what you feel. There's no right or wrong.

In your case, you were probably always waiting for that "other shoe to drop"...and now that it has...that's probably a part of the numbness or indifference that you're feeling right now

And while you may feel that way more than anything else...my guess is that you don't really "feel nothing" or totally fine...

and yeah..you'll probably have at least a few moments of that "punched in the gut" feeling awaiting you in the future...of course, that doesn't mean you'll be left shattered...

I just think those negative feelings will just come and go randomly...at unexpected moments...and eventually go completely...as long as you keep moving forward with your life and don't stew in negative emotions (which it seems like you're doing--GOOD!!...that's the best thing possible...and so many people do the exact opposite)

Also, I hope the way your marriage ended isn't going to make you jaded...please guard against that...because it would be such a shame...and an attitude completely opposite of the one which colored that wonderful post I saved.

Best of Luck!!!


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## hope4family

It all depends. People have lots of different baggage in a marriage. Maybe the person you divorced was the best thing that ever happened to you at that time. Maybe you were betrayed in an affair, but then all the blame was put on you. 

Every relationship is different. But if you can say that you cannot blame yourself for someone elses actions then maybe your moving on is justified. Just make sure you watch for triggers. Some have more then others, you might have to wait until you get married for them to fire off.


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## Jellybeans

Everyone's grieving process is different.

No, you're not weird. Your feelings are yours. Everyone has a different story.


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