# What do I do?



## Deerae (Apr 10, 2009)

I have a horrible situation. I am 26 years old and I got married when I was 19 to my high school sweetheart. I had my first daughter when I was 21. He cheated on me when she was 4 months old and I filed for divorce. I was single for three years then I met my current husband. I am really not sure what we were thinking. We had only been dating a few months when we moved in together. I got pregnant a couple of months later. and we waited until after the birth of our daughter to get married which we did in September. We didnt get along during my prenancy but we attributed it to my being stir crazy from being on bed rest for 6 months. We got married for all the wrong reasons. I didnt want to be single with two children drom two different men, My four year old adores him, our parents expected it, insurance was cheaper, and he was going through some financial legal stuff that looked better if he was married with a family. He really is a kind hearted guy, and would do anything for me and my girls. He works offshore so he is gone two weeks and them home two weeks. The first week he is home we get along ok although sex is non existant. the second week he is home you could cut the tension with a knife in our house and we know there is going to be a blow up before he leaves for work again. He doesnt talk to me if he does it is comments about my ass or sex or something. We dont discuss grown up problems he just sits and stares at the wall or something if i try to disucss anything other other than a tvshow or something. Anytime we get in an argument he just stomps off without me accusing him of anything saying "I know everythingis my fault i am just a bi screw up and i cant do anything right. but he doesnt mean it it is liekhe is trying to get sympathy it is more sarcastic than anything. I try so hard not to but i have come to despise him adn feel sick to my stomach anytime we are together. He feel sthe same way I know but he wont say it. We have brought up divorcing n the past and he is just like ok well i love you but its just whatever....no anger no passion no nothing. I AM GOING CRAZY. I am not white trash and i really dont take marriage lightly but i dont know what to do. I dont know if i should just endure the two weeks a month he is home and put on a brave face for my children (four years and 8 months) Or if I shoudl just call it quits and face the scary world of people talking baout me and being dissapointed in me for being 26 with two kids and two marriages behind me. I am lost.



I do want to add... We have been friends since i was 17 so for ten years now. I do love him but I jsut dont htink we were meant to be married. I do care about his feelings but on the other hand if we were having sex he wouldnt give a darn about anything else.


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## 13years (Apr 6, 2009)

Do you have a job? Things are not quite as scary if you have your own two feet to stand on.


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## martino (May 12, 2008)

Kids???


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

to some ppl, sex is a communication and part of a relationship. it is with me , but then thats how my cogs tick.

my marriage to my H used to be kinda based on key elements.
sex , communication and honesty. i can tell you i have fought those issues for yrs to maintain an equal balance for us to stay together.

but i have found that i cannot maintain them n e more. because those elements are simply gone from us to work on, especially when one person tries and the other doesnt.

i think your fella would and does care. sex is important to him. its a communication in itself to his wife. 
a chance to be intimate and both ppl to feel wanted and loved.
i'd say thats pretty normal.
why dont you give it a go and give yourself to him. 
you might find you can get alot back from one element and the rest follows suit. talking again.


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## helen (Apr 14, 2009)

hi there, i am 31 years old with two kids and no job. i am so unhappy about my marriage, that i am thinking to leave, but scared s hitless about it. so trust me you are not alone. i told my sister about it, she said that i am selfish for thinking to leave, that i should stay for the kids. but what about me? what do i do? well,,, the answer was,, sacrifices are nessesary. some times i cant even breath. i look back of my life, how i was so happy and bubbly all the time.now i feel like crying most of my days. so be strong. am deffenetly trying.


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