# Emotional Affair and Impotency



## Lasr60637 (Nov 14, 2008)

Husband says since he has impotency problems (prostate cancer surgery), he would be embarrassed to approach another woman about sex. Okay, I get that, I would be too.

But, if its a woman you had a friendship/relationship with years before the surgery, would you still be embarrassed? Would the other woman show patience with that like the wife has to?

Or, could he really just be talking to the other woman now as just a friend he can bend an ear too? Or could he be sex practicing with her?


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

Lasr60637 said:


> Husband says since he has impotency problems (prostate cancer surgery), he would be embarrassed to approach another woman about sex. Okay, I get that, I would be too.
> 
> But, if its a woman you had a friendship/relationship with years before the surgery, would you still be embarrassed? Would the other woman show patience with that like the wife has to?
> 
> Or, could he really just be talking to the other woman now as just a friend he can bend an ear too? Or could he be sex practicing with her?


holy smokes Lasr. Do you like brain teasers? b/c i think this has become kind of like a chess game for you. My head hurts just trying to figure out the answer to all those questions. your head must be spinning!


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

Lasr60637-

As far as you go, he can still give you manual stimulation, and should. Also, even if he can't always get fully erect, he will still gain pleasure from manual and oral stimulation.

How functional is he?


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## Lasr60637 (Nov 14, 2008)

MarkTwain said:


> Lasr60637-
> How functional is he?


Things work sometimes. He's gotten depressed about it and stopped trying. Has a prescription for Cialis but has not gotten it filled. I bought a vacuum pump but he's afraid to use it (he heard some bad things about it and chickened out). He keeps saying "dont worry about me, I'll take care of you." He's very good orally!!! For the past year, I stopped trying to help him and just laid back and enjoyed the oral.

But now that his emotional affair has come to light, I wonder if she's trying to "help him". I cant get the thought out of my mind and its really bothering me.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

There are exercises men can do to gain firmer erections. I know a man impotent from diabetes that is now as firm as a rock. PM me if you want to know more.

You should not give up on helping him. A large part of it will be in his head. And as I said before, he will still have sensation, even if he does not react by getting hard. He may not realise that though. You have to experiment.

Also, there is the "use it or loose it" school of thought. don't let a day go by...


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## Lasr60637 (Nov 14, 2008)

I want to know more.
What are the exercises that can gain firmer erections.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

There are several classes of exercise. I will explain the simplest: Kegels. These are the same exercises women are given to tone the Pelvic Floor.

What is not generally well known is that they are a good thing for both sexes. The story goes that when the good doctor Kegel gave them out for women who had gynecological problems, the women reported that not only did their health improve, but they started having more frequent and better orgasms.

The muscle group that men have is not quite the same as in women, but it can be said to be equivalent. For reasons that I do not fully understand, men who practice them gain better erections.

The method usually given to isolate and gain control of these muscles is to pee, and then try to stop and start the flow of urine. However, for men there is another way - standing naked, a man who is flaccid or semi erect should be able to make his penis twitch once he contracts the right muscles.

Having found the right muscles, he should start easy - 25 contractions, 3 times a week. Then build up to 50, 3 times a week. This exercise is slightly fatiguing, so it should not be done just before sex - that would be like trying to run up the stairs after running round the park! DO NOT over do this exercise, it is powerful.

One way of noting improvements is by monitoring nocturnal erections and "morning wood" - waking up with an erection.
A lot of older men find they loose morning wood as they get older. Men who practice this exercise usually get it back. For some reason, nature has decreed that frequent erections are good for men. And possibly good for women too  

Disclaimer:
Of course anyone who has had surgery should consult their doctor before doing any sort of exercise.


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## cheewagacheewaga (Aug 28, 2008)

Lasr60637 said:


> ...
> 
> But, if its a woman you had a friendship/relationship with years before the surgery, would you still be embarrassed?


Yes


Lasr60637 said:


> Would the other woman show patience with that like the wife has to?


I guess if she really wanted a sexless relationship, then sure!


Lasr60637 said:


> Or, could he really just be talking to the other woman now as just a friend he can bend an ear too? Or could he be sex practicing with her?


Boys will be boys!


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