# Roles Vice Versa?



## Marvel212 (May 7, 2012)

As I have heard in real life and read on here by many members men seem to be the sex starters in there relationship. I might be strange and odd. Although I dont think I am only on this one. "I have the sex drive of a man."  Atleast that is how my husband phrases it. I not only want it just as much if not more than he does. I intiate it, I make sure he is emotionally ready after a hard day of work. example, massage him if he is tense, listen to all his problems at work with co workers, etc. I try to let him get it all off his chest so that he doesnt let it fester or bring any of it into the bedroom. Pretty much I spoil him so that I continue to have an AMAZING sex life. 

So my question
Are there any of you women out there that this hits close to home for? aka are you just like me? 

Men are your wives like this too? 

Third option. I'm strange :rofl:

P.S not only does it help behind close doors, it helps our marriage too. He opens up to me. We have better commuincation because of it and I feel like I am unloading less about a hard day when he is free to do the same.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

You're not strange at all. You're lucky, in that you have a healthy appreciation for and interest in sex, and you know how to share that with your partner. Mazel Tov!

I'm the same...when people on here say that, "hey, our sex life is fine, 1-2 times a week", I'm all o-0...


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Crap! I should have found you two Gals 26 years ago!

BTW, there's nothing wrong with that. I know I would be thrilled if my wife was like this! 

What alot of wives (and some husbands) lose sight of is that everyone wants to be physically desired by their spouse. Many of the men here have referred to feeling that their sex lives feel more like "chore sex" than anything else. The wife does it because she has to to keep the peace. Once it's done, it's another item she can check off of her To Do list for a while.

Frequency is another issue both sexes compalin about. As a 50 yr old guy with 3 kids, I'd be happy to have sex 2 times a week (3 would be phenomenol!). Sadly, we average less than once a week now


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Toffer -- my husband put up with that from his ex-wife for 25 years, and she claims that she was "blindsided" by the divorce. WTF? (No, I hasten to add, I was not involved in the divorce in any way, we met well afterward.)

I think, alas, many women do not get how important sex is to a marriage, and to a man's emotional connection to his wife. I'm sorry for your situation.


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## Marvel212 (May 7, 2012)

lamaga said:


> You're not strange at all. You're lucky, in that you have a healthy appreciation for and interest in sex, and you know how to share that with your partner. Mazel Tov!
> 
> I'm the same...when people on here say that, "hey, our sex life is fine, 1-2 times a week", I'm all o-0...


:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:

Because he is gone so much lately. When we do see each other it is at least 6 times a day. And before all of the comotion and him leaving it was 3-4 time a day! I miss my huband so much


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## Marvel212 (May 7, 2012)

lamaga said:


> Toffer -- my husband put up with that from his ex-wife for 25 years, and she claims that she was "blindsided" by the divorce. WTF? (No, I hasten to add, I was not involved in the divorce in any way, we met well afterward.)
> 
> I think, alas, many women do not get how important sex is to a marriage, and to a man's emotional connection to his wife. I'm sorry for your situation.


Not only how important it is but how much deeper it makes your relationship. If you can connect sexually (not just a quickie or just to get off) you shouldnt have much problem truly connecting outside the bedroom as well.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

I had a HD and mine wasn't all that healthy. I was too focused on what I could get from my husband vs intimacy and connection. I was selfish.

These days I still love sex but it's not the focus of my day anymore. If it happens great if it doesn't that's okay. I'm more focused on the emotional connection. When that happens HE initiates more so yes in this instance I am more like the man. LOL

We are having more sex NOW than when I was a HD. Go figure.


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## BoomHower (May 7, 2012)

I LOVE YOU lool.


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## frustr8dhubby (Dec 23, 2010)

I WISH my wife was more like you, so no you aren't strange. Mine does take care of me and stress relief, etc, but not to get me ready for sex...


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

lamaga said:


> Toffer -- my husband put up with that from his ex-wife for 25 years, and she claims that she was "blindsided" by the divorce. WTF? (No, I hasten to add, I was not involved in the divorce in any way, we met well afterward.)
> 
> I think, alas, many women do not get how important sex is to a marriage, and to a man's emotional connection to his wife. I'm sorry for your situation.


Thanks. Funny, we've been married for 26 years! I truly love my wife in and for everything she does and who she is except in this one area.

I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about divorce and I know she'd also be blindsided by it 

Sad part about this is she at one point about 8 or so months ago told me how from everything she's read recently, she understands the whole concept of the emotional connection men have and how they get it through sex. I thought "Great! This ought to help in that area" alas, it only lasted for a short time.

Emotionally we are suffereing now since I've started to focus more on myself and my needs (doing more of the things I want to do and less attentive to her). Unfortunately, one of the side effects of this is that I know I am becoming more detached from her. Not a good thing since it shows me that life can go on without her which to be honest, I really do not want to do.

My plan is to take one last stab (no pun intended! OK, maybe a little! at this problem in the beginning of June once her busy part of the year is over. While I'm sure that this will result in an upswing, I'm just not sure it will last


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Toffer, I'm so sorry. I honestly wish she would understand.


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## reset button (Mar 14, 2012)

Marvel212 said:


> As I have heard in real life and read on here by many members men seem to be the sex starters in there relationship. I might be strange and odd. Although I dont think I am only on this one. "I have the sex drive of a man."  Atleast that is how my husband phrases it. I not only want it just as much if not more than he does. I intiate it, I make sure he is emotionally ready after a hard day of work. example, massage him if he is tense, listen to all his problems at work with co workers, etc. I try to let him get it all off his chest so that he doesnt let it fester or bring any of it into the bedroom. Pretty much I spoil him so that I continue to have an AMAZING sex life.
> 
> So my question
> Are there any of you women out there that this hits close to home for? aka are you just like me?
> ...


Yes I am like you, at least after I got rid of BC pills 3 years ago. He always gets way more back rubs than he needs because he knows I will do it to get my way. we are pervs but it works for us.


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