# A turn for the better!



## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

A few weeks ago we found out he has low T, and our MC suggested that he might have some OCD tendencies, worrying and such that keep him from relaxing enough to feel sexual. Since then we have had a lot more sex, he is initiating and for my birthday he got me a gift card to a store that has some sexy clothes. I asked him to wear a certain kind of underwear me never thinking he would really do it because I've never been with a man who would go out of his way to get something just for me. Last night he had them on and I thought I was going to swoon! I gave him what I think was the best BJ ever. We used toys that we havent used in a year, he was very passionate and into it. 
I am not looking a gift horse in the mouth but I guess I don't get it. I don't want to ask him because I don't want to ruin it or make him feel self conscious, but how is it that finding out these things but not yet addressing them freed him up to start being more into our sex life? 
For months and months he has been so vanilla and it's the same thing every time and now he's got his mojo back. Any insight?
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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

Of course he feels better about himself once being diagnosed. A lot of a guys issues can be psychological and now that he knows it's not 'him,' per say, but a condition that can and should be addressed, he feels lie a young guy again. 

Def get a blood test done and his test levels checked. If he needs it, I suggest to go for the injections. Much better and quicker than the gel, patch, etc. 

He'll be dropping loads like a champ once on the 'Fountain of Youth' serum.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Just enjoy it. Don't analyze it.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Yeah that's not going to happen. I majored in psychology, and this subject really intrigues me. So many couples are going through it but our society acts like all men are ready to go 24/7. It's very lonely. I just would like to know how it is that if low T is the reason for his decrease in interest, how is it finding that out changed it without taking anything? 
Maybe he started feeling bad about himself for not wanting it and that made him feel worse, and it was a vicious cycle. And now he knows it's not I'm his head and we can do something he feels better? Because I was really afraid he would feel worse about himself if his T was low.
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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Oh and he got his levels checked, that's how we knew it was low T.
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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Well, analyze it....but enjoy it too.

Maybe just hearing it from someone other than you or himself made him feel better. I dunno.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

diwali123 said:


> A few weeks ago we found out he has low T, and our MC suggested that he might have some OCD tendencies, worrying and such that keep him from relaxing enough to feel sexual.


The unknown can gnaw away at you.

Perhaps he just feels a tremendous amount of relief, and freedom, knowing what the problem is, and knowing that it's something he can manage.

Congratulations to you guys!

:smthumbup:


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## Kari (Feb 17, 2012)

diwali123 said:


> I just would like to know how it is that if low T is the reason for his decrease in interest, how is it finding that out changed it without taking anything?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm in the same situation and recently asked my H to talk to his doctor, get a full panel of hormone tests (we already know his total T is low), and consider testosterone shots. 

Ever since I said I think my H needs to go on T shots, he has been 'stepping it up' and acting more passionate than he has in years.  It seems like he is thinking 'I don't need any frickin' T shots, I can be a passionate guy without them.' It's not that his passion is fake, everyone has that inside somewhere even LD folks. But he is now super-motivated to find that passionate side of him so as to avoid the T shots. Most guys don't want to think they need 'extra help' from shots or doctors, and will avoid that if at all possible. 

So your H's new attitude is wonderful and fun for you right now. I just don't think it will last more than a few months unless he starts supplementing his T. 

So be careful not to say something like 'yes things are getting a lot better with our sex life now so I suppose you don't need to supplement your T after all'. If you do, you'll have to start back at square 1 when your H's passion wanes in a few weeks or months. 

So, it might be he is relieved to know he has low T, but it might instead be that he is trying to prove to himself and you that he doesn't need supplements.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

I get what you are saying and I completely agree. Not to mention its also loss of bone mass that I'm concerned with. I think that we just got into such a negative cycle and MC has helped a lot with us being able to forgive each other and be more understanding. It's also I hope shown both if us that we are both committed to making this marriage work. 
He tends to have a downturn in energy in the winter and I know it's coming, it's just a matter of time. 
I do feel like he trusts me more and he isn't as worried about us fighting if he turns me down. He used to get so upset when he turned me down and I just felt terrible and confused.
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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

He's also going to take a supplement that the psychiatrist recommended that helps with OCD and anxiety.
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