# Force my wife to move?



## outofanswers (Apr 28, 2012)

So I think this is a long and complicated problem...

My wife and I have been married about 4 1/2 years. We have two boys, 3 1/2 and just 1. With both boys she suffered some duration of post partum. But I think she has always has a fairly serious anxiety problem... with both boys she had c-sections and post op complications that in the 2nd case led to another surgery to clean the wound. She went 17 days in the hospital and another month of just being completely depressed. She was on zoloft and saw a therapist that told her she just had post traumatic stress ( I think that was a miss as she's always been way over anxious).

So background of our marriage is that we've discussed moving to South Florida to be closer to her family. I loved the area and while I preferred to be big city (Tampa / Miami) she always pushed "next door" kind of thing with her mom.

So, 4 months post partum from boy 2 we move because I've been on the job hunt. I found the job. We move in with her parents (who are divorced but living together). It's tough. She's, for the record according to a therapist, over her post-partum. Her dad finally moves out (returns overseas) but her mom falls into a strange illness that no one can diagnose. Only now we're learning this month long illness of pain and discomfort was stress. Related to us moving?

So we've been here about 8 months. And at first I was fine. But her mom and her would fight... and fight, and she would fight with her brother. While we were staying with her mom (for 3 months) she completely withheld sex. So I made the wise choice of buying a house, to get out of her mom's house, and that turned out to be a poor financial decision. We bought what the bank would loan us, but it was probably more than we could afford.

I can honestly say our marriage has been at the bottom since we moved here. And I think that being around her parents I understand her anxiety, her unhappiness with reality, her depression. Both her parents are controlling and unhappy and come from similar families.

And I have just changed jobs to work at home making a lot more money. But, I don't like the job. And I have a 2nd offer for a regular job 2 hours away. And the job has all the indications of being a great job. But she is killing me because I will move her from her mom and all the promises "I made her" about raising her family here.

She is a career woman, a licensed architect, and she hasn't looked for work and says she is miserable at home with the kids and unhappy with her mom. But then she takes all of this on me, and makes me feel like **** for wanting to get her out of this. She says I'm running away, but I say: "Yes! We are running away, and that's ok!"

Please someone help...


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

Sounds like you need some therapy together.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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