# husband has no desire



## Mrslovingwife (Jun 21, 2010)

This is my post, so bare with me if I don't know all the rules of posting yet. 

My husband and I have been married for a year and a half but we have been together for 9 years. We always had a hot sex life, we would do it between 3-5 times a week, but I've always been the one with the higher sex drive. Now I'm lucky if he wants to do it once a week. Its been this way for at least the last 4 months. He also won't preform oral on me anymore, well at least never offers to. I feel like he isn't attracted to me or is just too lazy to put in the effort. I haven't changed, I look the same. I finally confronted him and he told me he just has a lower sex drive :scratchhead:.He says he has a hard time focusing because of how stressful his job is. I've done everything, introduce toys, worn hot lingerie, have given him tons of oral without anything in return. Last night was the worst, I was trying to be all seductive and I danced for him, and than he turned me down, told me he just wasn't in the mood. Is this normal, I feel like most guys would want to have sex with a woman who was so willing?? I'm starting to grow resentful of him, I want to be with my husband, but I want to feel wanted. I'd love to hear opinions.


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## chuckles (May 2, 2010)

Sounds to me like he's experiencing the same thing most women feel. Nothing really changes but for whatever reason stress effects the bedroom. I can't tell you what you should do, and wouldn't want to not knowing what you're already doing - but if there's a way to help him relieve that stress (non-sexually) then perhaps that would help. My wife loves it when I'm doing the dishes for her. One less thing she has to "focus" on and that opens the door for me to be the "focal point" of her attention.


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## Anooniemouse (May 5, 2010)

My advice is take the pressure off. Go back to simple affection without the demand for sex.


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## Sad_in_NY (Jun 23, 2010)

Anooniemouse said:


> My advice is take the pressure off. Go back to simple affection without the demand for sex.


I would agree with this advice, but since I am in a mirror situation I wonder how long we are supposed to use the simple affection before we can expect that sex can return? Cuz like her my tendancy is to go overboard and maybe backing off is the right move, but for how long? How long before we get what we want - sex? Has anyone had experience with this?


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

i simply cannot relate to your husbands lack of response, i would be beyond grateful for a wife like you. it could be a serious lack of testosterone or other medical issue.


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