# "The Fog"



## Hope Springs Eternal (Oct 6, 2012)

I've been reading about "the fog" that occurs when people are in an affair. I'm wondering if you experts here know whether the fog fades immediately when the WS and OM/OW are out of each others reach/sight. How long before the fog fades?


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

bobka said:


> I've been reading about "the fog" that occurs when people are in an affair. I'm wondering if you experts here know whether the fog fades immediately when the WS and OM/OW are out of each others reach/sight. How long before the fog fades?


Based on what I read, it varies. 

IMO, the fog is nothing more than the initial infatuations in any normal dating relationship and that is why married people don't date others. 

It can take up to a year for the fog to fade just like any dating infatuation. 

Based on my reading it takes long if the affair is discovered and the two are forced to end it abruptly. 

If the affair is coming to a natural conclusion the fog usually ends much more quickly. 

Also, it depends on what type of affair it was.....exit affair, EA, PA, Both. 

The EA/PA takes longer for fog to fade. With this type the affair partners can pine over each other for a long time. This is very hurtful to the betrayed spouse, sadly.

With the exit affair the fog usually only fades after the cheater leaves the spouse.


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## ChangingMe (Oct 3, 2012)

I can only speak from personal experience, but this is how it was in my case. After DDay1, OM and I were still in contact with each other through our group of friends. We saw each other on weekends as a group, were posting in the same FB forum, etc. And the fog was still there. 

DDay2 was the last day I ever had contact with OM. I honestly felt the fog was gone by the next day. That first night, I remember having a thought that I had lost both my husband and the OM, but by the 2nd day, I did not care at all about losing OM. I think this can partly be attributed to the enormous wake-up call that I had just f'ed up my whole life and might lose my husband, children, and job, the fact that OM put all the blame for the A on me -which helped me recognize the type of person he actually was, and that I immediately began reading books about affairs that explained how the feelings a person thinks they have during an affair are not real or sustainable, which struck me and made me realize what an idiot I was.

We are almost 4 months past DDay2, and I have had no pining or times of missing the OM. Every time my mind goes to him, the thoughts are so filled with shame, pain, and self-loathing, that I try to get him out of my mind as quickly as possible. 

I am sure everyone is different though. But that was my experience.


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

I am one who advocates exposure for the main reason that it ends the fog in many cases, not all, but many. It worked for me. Staying in the fog varies as was said above. But exposure in my case ended the fantasy and ended the affair.


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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

Yeah well.....it was a nice little John Carpenter flick.


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## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

In my situation I discovered the A and confronted my WW immediately. I didn't know about the 180 but I was in the process of doing it, with the exception that i was not emotionally detached yet. In my mind marriage is the trust and commitment. She had violated both so we were already no longer married by her choice alone. As a result I was in the process of gathering evidence for court and kicking her out at the same time. When she saw my reaction "the fog" was gone. There were some traces of it for a few days after, but it was basically gone.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## KirkSpock (Mar 21, 2012)

Bobka, I've been following and commenting on your situation in your other threads. I think, knowing the context of your question, there is a surefire way to lift the fog: exposure, removal of her crap, and divorce papers.

Now, I know in your other threads, you have described excuses why this cannot be. If I remember correctly, money is tight and one of you will be homeless if forced to leave. BULL. ABSOLUTE BULL. Isn't she ALREADY STAYING somewhere? Well, she made her choice, so happily allow her to stay there permanently. Can;t you see that she has MADE THIS DECISION and is quite happy with it?
While I do view those as excuses you cling to to avoid action (sorry, no offense), I see only 1 way to get your wife out of the fog. It's a combination of three actions:

1. Remove her crap from the house. You are playing storage manager to her shid while she's out banging other dudes. Not cool at all.
Yes, you said you have no lawn and can't pay a trash collector to come. I call shenanigans and BS on that. It costs nothing to put an ad in the local pennysaver/craigslist/flyers etc. to advertise free crap for anyone willing to haul it away. It would cost you very little to hire some local neighborhood teens to help you remove it. And it takes just the barest minimum of effort to BEGIN throwing stuff away (or even better...donating it to the salvation army, women's shelter, homeless shelter, etc. You can write it all off as a taxable donation at the end of the year to boot!), even if that's one trash bin at a time.
You need to send a clear message that you are moving on, with or without her, and while she chooses to bang other dudes, you are moving on without her. Tossing her crap out of your house is a strong message that can shock people....out of the fog. "Wow, he's removing all of my things.....holy [email protected], is he serious this time???"

2. Expose. Expose. Expose. Expose. Expose......then Expose.
****roaches thrive in dark places. When the lights turn on, they scatter. Cheaters are the same way: you are willingly keeping the lights off and allowing the ****roaches to mate like rabbits. TURN ON THE LIGHTS!!!!! Tell your kids. Tell your friends. Tell her friends. Tell the OM's friends. Tell the OM's work. TELL EVERYONE IN THE WORLD. When people begin eyeballing her with disgust (and they will), when other women eyeball her with anger (and they will), when her kids look at her with pity and sadness (and they will), when the OM's employer has to deal with this kind of drama (which people HATE dealing with), when the OM has to live with the embarrassment of being exposed (Time to throw the other woman under the bus, this is NOT worth it)....it's kinda hard to keep the magic going with Mr. Right. When everyone around you, everyone who knows you, everyone who cares for you looks upon you with shame....you start to realize that what you are doing is, perhaps, actually SHAMEFUL. That helps bring people out of the fog. For some inexplicable reason, you have chosen not to expose for whatever excuse you can suddenly come up with. Honestly, there is NO GOOD REASON not to tell everyone. None at all.

3. File for divorce. TODAY!
No excuses from you sir: file for divorce and request EVERYTHING. Include EVERY DETAIL in the filing (even if your state doesn't care about the details....get it on record and on paper) You don't have to actually follow through if you decide not to......but I'll tell you what, threatening to do something is one thing....ACTUALLY DOING IT IS ANOTHER. Filing is not actually divorcing, but it's a step in that direction and can have an incredibly shocking effect on the spouse. "Holy crud, he actually filed. Maybe....JUST MAYBE.....he is actually serious???" That kind of shock can certainly bring people out of the fog.

I am afraid that until you stop coming up wtih excuses on why you should protect your cheating wife, she will remain in the fog (as will you).


EDIT: I want to quote Ovid here


> As a result I was in the process of gathering evidence for court and kicking her out at the same time. When she saw my reaction "the fog" was gone.


Are you beginning to see a pattern Bobka? Those who take swift and decisive action (ie: manning up) get results, ONE WAY OR THE OTHER. People who do nothing except wag a finger....get the results you have been getting.
I'm not saying this to be mean, I'm saying this because it's true.


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## Another Planet (Aug 8, 2012)

The "fog" is the short term positive feelings that inhibit your long term goals. To me anyway.


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## daggeredheart (Feb 21, 2012)

Sara, I would love to hear more about the fog when the affair is Ea and when interrupted abruptly, can you expand on that?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

joe kidd said:


> Yeah well.....it was a nice little John Carpenter flick.


Book was better. Scary!


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## Hope Springs Eternal (Oct 6, 2012)

KirkSpock, you've kind of hijacked my thread. I was looking for answers on "the fog," and what I've got here is a diatribe about what I should do about my situation. What's your experience with "the fog"?


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

Thorburn said:


> I am one who advocates exposure for the main reason that it ends the fog in many cases, not all, but many. It worked for me. Staying in the fog varies as was said above. But exposure in my case ended the fantasy and ended the affair.


:iagree:








_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

If the affair is emotional it's not immediate. I don't care what the cheater says. Emotional ties do not evaporate. Look at the betrayed spouses who despite massive, horrendous, God awful acts by their cheating spouses still love them. 

It takes time.

How long depends on a million variables. How deep was the connection, how explosive was D day, how aggressively is the betrayed spouse attacking the affair, how remorseful is the cheater, how badly to both spouses want to reconcile. IMO there is really no way to quantify how long it does or should take.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Sigma nailed this one.

Bobka--it all depends on many variables. I think, like someone said above, that exposure of the affair can definitely throw a grenade on any affair, which is why it's important to expose. 

I think how the betrayed reacts to the affair (whether they go Doormat mode vs. "I will not tolerate this bullsh!t" and backs it up with actions) also has a lot to do with it. And lastly, the willingness of the cheater to end the affair. A cheater who wants to end it, WILL. It's a CHOICE.


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

daggeredheart said:


> Sara, I would love to hear more about the fog when the affair is Ea and when interrupted abruptly, can you expand on that?


When the affair is interrupted that means it has not come to it's natural conclusion and thus the cheater still only remembers the honeymoon phase of the relationship. 

It takes about two years for the honeymoon glow of all new love relationships to fade. During the honeymoon glow, the affair partner can do no wrong and the cheaters spouse can do nothing right. 

Therefore, in some cases if the affair is interrupted rather than ended by the cheater or cheaters. 

The loyal spouse may see their cheating spouse pining for the interrupted love object. 

If that happens it can take much longer to come out of the fog. 

Also, seeing the cheater pine for the lover is very painful to the loyal spouse.


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## daggeredheart (Feb 21, 2012)

Do you think that same two year time line applies to online EA as well, like they never met in person. Only texts, never Skype etc.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

daggeredheart said:


> Do you think that same two year time line applies to online EA as well, like they never met in person. Only texts, never Skype etc.


There is no timeline that fits every situation.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

daggeredheart said:


> Do you think that same two year time line applies to online EA as well, like they never met in person. Only texts, never Skype etc.


Yes. it takes longer to get over an EA fog that is disrupted do to being caught. 

The amount of time however varies. 

Some people get over a broken love affair in six months some take two years. 

The two year time line is an average time span.


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

daggeredheart - just for reference my EA was 7 weeks, online, phone calls, and text. No skype and certainly no face to face contact. Dday was August 2010, you can see that I joined TAM in May 2011 looking for help getting the OW to leave my head. So that's 9/10 months right there. And I wanted with every ounce of my being for her to be gone. Unfortunately, no matter how much the cheater and the BS may want the AP to vacate the thoughts of the cheater - it just takes a while. I'm afraid it's way more normal than it's not.


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## daggeredheart (Feb 21, 2012)

Thanks Sigma- I was reading on TAM the other day, and it might have even been a post by you about how new brain paths form during infatuation--- then are re-enforced while the emotional bond is growing stronger, and that is what makes it hard to break even when the WS wants it gone in the worst way. 

The only thing I have ever experienced similar is when I reflect on past loves (college/highschool/first love) there is a tender spot for them but not a longing--- and as more time passes, it almost feels like it happened in another life time. 

I wonder if there is something within the _forbidden_nature of affairs that make those bonds much harder almost like a trauma....one usually remembers explicit details of something that happened traumatic. Seared in the brain. 

I feel that one of the biggest roadblocks in my healing is that I have to accept that she is burned into his psyche .....and I can only hope time will help it fade. I keep thinking of the lyrics to Break Even by The Script- I'm still alive but barely breathing, when a heart breaks you know it don't break even.


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

Meh - I see what you're talking about but I don't think that's quite it. My experience is that I remember the whole thing with about the same level of detail that I remember everything else. I remember parts clearly, others vaguely, and some not at all. 

When you say you have to accept that she is burned into his psych - ok and yes, but let me give you another way to think about it. My AP took a piece of me with her for sure. A piece I miss and would very much like to have back, but I miss the piece of me - not her. Does that make sense?

I do believe that the way EA's end suddenly when exposed can create something akin to what happens when someone you care about dies suddenly. It's such a sudden change in your emotional world that it can take a while to adapt. I think it can be compounded by the fact that since it's an affair that is gone the cheater pretty much can't be seen "mourning" the loss because it would rightly inflame the BS. The result is something along the lines of the cheater having this massive emotional hole suddenly in them, having to keep it completely bottled up, all the while trying to salvage the pieces of their spouse and marriage.

DISCLAIMER!! The above may sound like I'm feel sorry for, trying to garner sympathy for, or trying to justify a cheater and their pain. I'm not, it's the price of cheating and a cheater has to pay it, especially if they want to reconcile. I'm just offering my perspective of what this side of the coin can look and feel like. Cheaters earn and deserve the pain they get.


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## daggeredheart (Feb 21, 2012)

Thank you for that perspective, it's a refreshing way to look at it and might actually help me jump over some of the speed bumps. I get what your saying about "mourning" it alone--- and your right, that is their cross to bear. I do have some resentment over watching him grieve that loss, and fresh off DDay he even went so far as to send out a "healing/I wish I could help you get over me" via third party to the newly dumped OW which poured salt in my wound. I think in hindsight there are lots of things I wish I had done differently and tolerated less the first few weeks of d-day. 

I know presently he still doesn't like to talk about his feelings towards her, I'm afraid to think that talking about it, makes him want to start it up again???? Is that normal in the process of getting over a EA?


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## X-unknown (Oct 14, 2011)

bobka said:


> I've been reading about "the fog" that occurs when people are in an affair. I'm wondering if you experts here know whether the fog fades immediately when the WS and OM/OW are out of each others reach/sight. How long before the fog fades?


A lot of people have a sense that everyone has the same (or very similar) experiences. I also see a lot of suggestions that everyone who has been cheated on has to follow a set plan or be be branded with the "doormat" label. 

Fog - Its going to be different. One wayward wife may think she has met her soul mate and the "fog" never lifts. Or at least not for the soon to be Ex Husband. Others may have a drunken one night stand and wake up revolted at what they have done. Their "fog" lasts as long as the drunken sex and after that its remorse, crying and begging to find a way to fix the marriage. Everyone else is someplace in between. *In my opinion. And I think which gender is doing the cheating may make a difference as well.

I would say that in my case the "fog" has been a terrible problem. I think (And am told) its gone and done with and then.... Some kind of relapse and its back to square one. Setting some kind of line is (I think) important. 

Like Dirty Harry a man has to know his limitations. How much will you (or CAN you) take? Some of us are on the edge and just don't know the answer. Doctors and therapists can help or advise but its still you that makes this call. 

I strongly suggest you find a local BAN group and talk in a group about this. The BAN group (At least the one I go to) is not for telling you what to do but lets you vent a bit and hear what others are going through. For me thats been a big plus. By all means listen and see what others have done but don't think that its all some set thing thats the same for everyone.

BTW ask a couples therapist questions like this. Its better (I think) to get advise from someone who is not hurting over their own experience.


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

daggeredheart said:


> I know presently he still doesn't like to talk about his feelings towards her, I'm afraid to think that talking about it, makes him want to start it up again???? Is that normal in the process of getting over a EA?


Not wanting to talk about it is normal. As far as talking about it making him want to contact the OW, that's possible but I think it's a far lesser risk than not talking about it. If he doesn't talk about it a couple of nasty things can happen. First he won't ever turn and face those feelings, study them, and accept them for what they really are. If he doesn't face those feelings he can end up clutching onto the memory of them, not able to let them go and not able to move forward. 

You can say, "yes, but what if he faces them and decides he really loves her?" That could be a possibility, but if he does you need to know that to right? 

He really needs to talk about it. For him, and for you. It's not fun, it's embarrassing, it's painful; but it's necessary. Talking about it is the only way for both of you to heal and move forward. He also can very likely be scared to death to talk to you about it. Think about it, every word he says about her he knows is a knife in your side and salt in the wound. You have to express to him that you need him to talk to you about it. Just be ready to hear it and try your best to make it safe for him to do so honestly. If he stars talking and you kick his ass for the next three days or put him back on the couch he's going to clam back up fast just to protect himself.


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

sigma1299 said:


> Meh - I see what you're talking about but I don't think that's quite it. My experience is that I remember the whole thing with about the same level of detail that I remember everything else. I remember parts clearly, others vaguely, and some not at all.
> 
> When you say you have to accept that she is burned into his psych - ok and yes, but let me give you another way to think about it. My AP took a piece of me with her for sure. A piece I miss and would very much like to have back, but I miss the piece of me - not her. Does that make sense?
> 
> ...


Sigma:

I have read many of your posts, and I truly feel you have learned a valuable lesson and mean it when you say you will never cheat again.


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## B1 (Jun 14, 2012)

In my opinion...the fog can last weeks, months or years. All depends on the WS, the situation, even the AP. 

Did it end abruptly, Did the AP fade away quickly or did he say He loves the WS? This would have a huge impact on the FOG affect.

In my case my wife's AP never said he loved her, said he would never marry again and he would not promise security or anything. When he found out I knew about the affair, he was GONE. I believe this helped with the fog. Also, I was a changed man for others reasons.

In my case the fog was strong for about a month, for about a week or two she was crying over the AP, I dealt with it as best I could then, and, it wasn't easy, not sure how I even did it. But she was gone from me and our marriage then, the 180 would not have worked for me because she would not have noticed it anyway. It was my love for her, this new me that pulled her back in from the fog.

After she realized I really did love her, (she had honestly thought I didn't). I would say at the 2 months mark the fog was really lifting, she was seeing the AP in a different light, she was seeing me in a different light and new I was the real deal, that I was not the same man I was pre-a. She was also seeing the AP was not going to be there for her, she started feeling a little used, she also started thinking it was all just infatuation.

At 3 months, she's expressing some anger towards the AP, but mostly it's feelings of feeling sorry for him, pity. She as of now still doesn't hate him. It's more of a, still feeling sorry for him, and some pity. He holds nothing on her heart anymore, that's a big one too.. because she said she was in love with the AP, she was done with me, out of love and ready for a new relationship.
That's what she REALLY wanted, a relationship, companionship and intimacy etc.

She claims it was me that made the difference, it was me who caused her to love me again. It's me, and some time, that helped clear the fog away.

Now, could this work for you when your wife returns??? wow, I don't know. It's NOT the recommended TAM way to handle things at all. Allowing your WS to cry in your arms about the AP, NOT recommended here. But in our case it worked, my compassion and understanding and love shined through and broke through the fog. 

Now at 4 months out, she still doesn't hate the OM, not sure she will ever hate. Hate is a strong emotion, I would hope one day it can be indifference. She isn't pining over him, She is heading for indifference. But I would say the fog has completely lifted and we are well into a successful R.

Now....

In your case, she left and told you what she was going to do, FOG already in place. That's also VERY defiant and sounds like she is done with you and the marriage. When she returns, the FOG will be solid and if the OM told her he loved her and wants her to live with him...whoa...I am afraid she is probably gone.

So the Fog as you see is a untamed beast. Varies with everyone, and it's strength is dependent on many variables.

Just know though when our WS is in the fog reasoning with them is almost impossible. It can be beyond frustrating dealing with them. It's like dealing with an addict who needs a fix NOW.
You will get through every now and then, but overall it's a hell I wouldn't want to tackle again. Honestly, I don't think I could\would do that again. But, we were literally stuck together for financial reasons and had to face each other daily, so it naturally played out. I played the game from my heart, which again, isn't, a TAM recommendation.


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## daggeredheart (Feb 21, 2012)

sigma1299 said:


> Not wanting to talk about it is normal. As far as talking about it making him want to contact the OW, that's possible but I think it's a far lesser risk than not talking about it. If he doesn't talk about it a couple of nasty things can happen. First he won't ever turn and face those feelings, study them, and accept them for what they really are. If he doesn't face those feelings he can end up clutching onto the memory of them, not able to let them go and not able to move forward.
> 
> You can say, "yes, but what if he faces them and decides he really loves her?" That could be a possibility, but if he does you need to know that to right?
> 
> Talking about it is the only way for both of you to heal and move forward. He also can very likely be scared to death to talk to you about it. Think about it, every word he says about her he knows is a knife in your side and salt in the wound. .



* That's what our MC said as well, afraid to share because it might push me away. I'm very careful to provide a safe haven to discuss this stuff. He is a very quite guy and I'm the social butterfly.....in fact our MC asked him, "How do you feel being married to such a dynamic woman, do you feel overshadowed?"--- I found that a riot and he now addresses me as "Mrs. Dynamic"  


I did ask him about a month ago if he still felt _Love_ for her, (they never met in person) and he said that it was probably infatuation, but it doesn't make it any less meaningful. That hurt but I processed it. I'm sure we BS wish we could push a button and make all those lingering thoughts go away. We can't, just like we can't erase past loves. 

One of the most difficult issues I have with our MC is she _insist_ that what he felt wasn't Love, that it is impossible to have real mature love with someone you never met, and didn't even begin to know...and while I agree with that, the real problem is that HE believes it was love. To him it felt exciting and alive.....everything a middle age man might crave from a young college girl.... (generalizing, I know some men don't)

I understand that the FOG is ripe with chemicals and crazy time but getting through it is difficult. 

The scary part is the "clinging to the memory and can't move forward," <----- guess that applies to me as well.


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

Sara8 said:


> Sigma:
> 
> I have read many of your posts, and I truly feel you have learned a valuable lesson and mean it when you say you will never cheat again.


Thanks Sara - that means a lot.


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

sigma1299 said:


> Thanks Sara - that means a lot.


I second Sara and also say that it takes a lot of courage for you to be here. Your insight is always appreciated. I wish more WS would post.


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

daggeredheart said:


> * "How do you feel being married to such a dynamic woman,
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Bobka:

This post resonates with me because all my MCs asked my spouse something similar but substituted the words Such an educated and accomplished women for the word dynamic. 

Early in our relationship my STBEH used to brag about my accomplishments, it was only later that it seemed to overshadow him so much that he cheated with a low life serial cheater with four kids, who only stays married to the husband she claims to be disgusted by because he provides a cushy lifestyle. 

This also was a women who never worked a day in her life. She went straight from daddy to being taken care or by hubby. 

IMO, a lot of people cheat because they feel inferior to the spouse in some way and need ego kibbles from the affair partner. 

Still, I also agree with dagger about the "mature love issue. 

Whether or not the love is mature or real is inconsequential. 

The scary part is that the cheating spouse was immature enough to actually mistake infatuation for love. 

Personally, I am not the type to try to win over a lover. 

I did give my spouse one chance at reconciliation and he blew it. 

Even worse is the fact that I was fool enough to believe the reconciliation was going well, and only found out about continued deceptions anonymously.


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## X-unknown (Oct 14, 2011)

Sara8 said:


> When the affair is interrupted that means it has not come to it's natural conclusion and thus the cheater still only remembers the honeymoon phase of the relationship.
> 
> During the honeymoon glow, the affair partner can do no wrong and the cheaters spouse can do nothing right.


That is right on the money. The worst part is the one being betrayed has no clue why nothing he (or she) can do is right. They tell you that your insane (And you believe it) and you suddenly have a sexual problem (and become brother / sister) because... Its another headache or your being a jerk or (endless excuses) Finding out why later can be brutal. 

The fog part. I really see it as an addiction for some. And the last point is that the "in love" part is so much worse then a one night stand or so I think. 

One thing that I've never seen anyone post about is this. Why don't at least SOME of the people having affairs be a stand up guy (or girl) and just tell the spouse they found someone else? The affair is bad enough but the lying really roasts me. And this as a question to the people who've cheated. If you are in love and having a sexual relationship with someone else how can you come home to the wife or husband and not be cheating on the new lover? I guess thats the "I have a headache" thing but still.....


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## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

X-unknown said:


> That is right on the money. The worst part is the one being betrayed has no clue why nothing he (or she) can do is right. They tell you that your insane (And you believe it) and you suddenly have a sexual problem (and become brother / sister) because... Its another headache or your being a jerk or (endless excuses) Finding out why later can be brutal.
> 
> The fog part. I really see it as an addiction for some. And the last point is that *the "in love" part is so much worse *then a one night stand or so I think. I couldnt agree more. Hearing him say he cared about her- shoot me.
> 
> One thing that I've never seen anyone post about is this. Why don't at least SOME of the people having affairs be a stand up guy (or girl)* and just tell the spouse they found someone else? The affair is bad enough but the lying really roasts me. And this as a question to the people who've cheated. If you are in love and having a sexual relationship with someone else how can you come home to the wife or husband and not be cheating on the new lover? I guess thats the "I have a headache" thing *but still.....


I have said this to my H SO many times. Why not just leave? If she was SO wonderful. So perfect. Adored you so much, why not have the balls to leave????

His answer: I didnt want a divorce. I wanted both of you....

Good ole affair brain. Fairytales and pupydogs. BARF.


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## X-unknown (Oct 14, 2011)

Wanting to have both a husband and a lover on the side seems to be the norm. I've been trying to grasp how its so easy to have sex with the other man. Drive home and have a normal day with the husband. What is going on in their heads? And HOW do they become such great "Actors." 

Speaking of actors has anyone got a suggestion for a funny movie that does not have infidelity (Triggers) in it? I've been talking to a therapist who tells me that this is a good way to get a little more sane.


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