# No strings attached BJ ?



## gemjo

How many married men would accept the genuine offer of a 'no strings attached BJ' from a colleague, knowing she is also married.

Are the majority of married men going to go for it if 99% chance wife is never going to find out about it?

Would love some feedback on this question

Gemjo


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## That Guy Kyle

gemjo said:


> How many married men would accept the genuine offer of a 'no strings attached BJ' from a colleague, knowing she is also married.
> 
> Are the majority of married men going to go for it if 99% chance wife is never going to find out about it?
> 
> Would love some feedback on this question
> 
> Gemjo


You might think that most would go for it, but I think actually many men would turn it down. I've been in similar situations and can honestly say I didn't do it. I don't know what the percentage would be, but I like to think a solid majority would say no.


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## MarriedTex

That Guy Kyle said:


> You might think that most would go for it, but I think actually many men would turn it down. I've been in similar situations and can honestly say I didn't do it. I don't know what the percentage would be, but I like to think a solid majority would say no.


Wouldn't do it. It's not right. Gateway to guilt that will suck the life out of your committed relationship.


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## Hope1964

The guys who would turn it down are the ones we women want to spend the rest of our lives with. The ones who accept are the ones we kick their asses out when we find out. Because we DO find out.


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## In_The_Wind

:iagree::iagree::iagree: I would not do it I have learned my lesson the hard way besides I love my wife full time 100%


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## sandc

Only a 99% chance of not getting caught? Is that the measure of what makes it right or wrong? The risk of getting caught. Negligible risk makes it more acceptable?

Does that mean if I have 0% chance of getting caught it would be okay go kill that jerk that cut me off in traffic this morning?

I'm just asking questions here...


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## sandc

And to answer the question; no. I prefer my wife and I prefer her pnssy. She's that good.


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## HopelesslyJaded

gemjo said:


> How many *married* men would accept the genuine offer of a 'no strings attached BJ' from a colleague, knowing she is also married.
> 
> Are the majority of married men going to go for it if 99% chance wife is never going to find out about it?
> 
> Would love some feedback on this question
> 
> Gemjo


Let me guess, the wife don't give you BJ's or as much as you want and your rationalizing it to yourself? Or the "it's just nsa" and men can do that.

The key word which I bolded above should give you your answer no questions asked because if you have to ask you don't have an honest & "open marriage" that would allow it.

But of course, are we talking what should be done or what goes on at least 50% of the time?


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## Stonewall

Not a chance period. I get everything I want at home anytime I want. why would I do that to her?


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## Starstarfish

I think the most dangerous part of this regardless of moral debates are - it's with someone you work with. 

Even if you weren't married, there's no such as thing as NSA with a co-worker. You are opening yourself up to potential harassment and blackmail about this for the entire time you are working together. What if you end up her supervisor?

Back away, dude.


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## mel123

no such thing as NSA in this situation .In one way or another, there will be. Women that would offer that are crafty and have something up there sleeve and rest assured you WILL pay dearly. Does a BJ like that sound fun to most men? yes. Would they do it? No

I would say not for me either,the; guilt,love of my wife,fear of God and the fear of the craftiness, of this type of woman. She is getting ready to burn you in one way or another,if you are stupid enough to fall for the NSA deal.


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## sandc

Count me in as one of the men it does not appeal to. Fear of God aside, and I do in fact fear God (well, no reason to fear Him now), a NSABJ just doesn't appeal to me.


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## donny64

No way in hell. My W is so many wonderful things. I would NEVER risk hurting her or losing her to satisfy some urge with another woman. And I do have them I suppose. But I'll never act on it. She expects me to stay faithful, and I will. And I enjoy being that way for her and with her. For one thing, my W is the best I've ever had at that...so I don't need to go out for beer when I've got champaigne at home. I'm completely satisfied in our relationship and in the bedroom with her. So satisfied it often feels like an impossible dream. And it would be the definition of sheer stupidity to risk destroying what we have over a stupid hummer.


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## anchorwatch

Nope not interested. Very satisfied at home, don't need it. I'd think that fellas that don't get enough would be tempted, but then they need more than a bj to solve their problem.


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## LovesHerMan

So you would compromise both your marriage and that of your co-worker? How would you feel if your wife did this?

What else would you do if you would not get caught? Steal from stores? Cheat your employer? Lie to your children?

At the end of the day you have to look at yourself in the mirror. Deceit corrodes relationships. Soon you will be projecting your behavior onto your wife, and you will find dishonest actions everywhere you look, because after all, everyone does it, right?


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## HopelesslyJaded

I had this talk with a guy at the gym because I think he was contemplating something of this nature. I also asked him how he would feel if he found out his wife done something like it and he said "Well if I never find out...." and sounded like if he knew he could do something and his wife never found out that he would probably do it. 

I told him there was no guarantee of that ever and the sad thing is even if she didn't find out, others probably would and that is probably one of the worst positions to be in thinking you have this wonderful marriage and everyone around you knows better but won't say anything because it isn't their place.


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## That Guy Kyle

HopelesslyJaded said:


> I had this talk with a guy at the gym because I think he was contemplating something of this nature. I also asked him how he would feel if he found out his wife done something like it and he said "Well if I never find out...." and sounded like if he knew he could do something and his wife never found out that he would probably do it.
> 
> I told him there was no guarantee of that ever and the sad thing is even if she didn't find out, *others probably would and that is probably one of the worst positions to be in thinking you have this wonderful marriage and everyone around you knows better but won't say anything because it isn't their place*.


I strongly agree with this. I hate being in this position after whatever my wife did, it's really the worst feeling to know everyone knew all along. I also resent avoiding doing this to her despite several offers over the years, and yet she would have done this if I hadn't caught her first. Just the worst feeling.


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## 40isthenew20

Theres always a string attached. If youre going to have her give you head after the office party, then it's bound to lead to more trysts. If youre willing to begin some sort of affair, that's your business. How's the home sex life?


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## CanadianGuy

Nope. Wouldn't do it.


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## Vegemite

mel123 said:


> no such thing as NSA in this situation .In one way or another, there will be. Women that would offer that are crafty and have something up there sleeve and rest assured you WILL pay dearly. Does a BJ like that sound fun to most men? yes. Would they do it? No


Totally agree. This stinks of blackmail setup.

And seriously,why would you even consider it? You're wife deserves a whole better if you are.


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## Vegemite

gemjo said:


> How many married men would accept the genuine offer of a 'no strings attached BJ' from a colleague, knowing she is also married.
> 
> Are the majority of married men going to go for it if 99% chance wife is never going to find out about it?
> 
> Would love some feedback on this question
> 
> Gemjo


Or is this a hypothetical??


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## Entropy3000

gemjo said:


> How many married men would accept the genuine offer of a 'no strings attached BJ' from a colleague, knowing she is also married.
> 
> Are the majority of married men going to go for it if 99% chance wife is never going to find out about it?
> 
> Would love some feedback on this question
> 
> Gemjo


When I was single I never took up married women on anything sexual. 

Even when told no one would ever know, my answer was ... I would.

On a couple of occasions in recent years I have been offered room keys by female colleagues. One was in the middle of a divorce, the other I am not sure.

My point is that the deterent for me is not of being discovered. It is not something I would freaking do period.


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## Goldmember357

stats say otherwise. data and stats say that a good portion of men will cheat and would love a no strings attached sex and or bj or both.

perhaps the men on this site are not into it or might not wish to say they are online and possibly harm their reputation on line. But i assure you that many would.

Sorry if this puts negative thoughts into your head its truth.


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## gemjo

ok guys, i'm the wife.

I found out last year by reading an email which was sent almost 3 years previous that a female colleague was sending messages to my husband offering him a NSABJ.

She worked in his office for a few months.

our M background, very happily married, but very hectic home life, 4 kids, our life revolved around work and kids, alot of financial pressures. Both too busy for one another if i'm honest, and yes my H probably wasn't getting the attention he needed. 

Things have since changed, kids moved off to Uni we now have nice times together, breaks away on our own, sex is better than ever....etc... I thought we were just plodding along until kids got older, BUT then i found out 3 years earlier he'd said he would meet this OW for 10 mins after work in his car.

He claims he got into the car and did not expect her to get in also, but she did. She started to perform and he says within seconds he told her to get out of the car.

She continued that week to message him and again he said he would meet her, but this time he said 'stop, i am happily married with kids and i don't want to do this' i tracked this OW down and told her i wanted full knowledge of everything that happened or i would send the emails to her H. She squealed like a pig and told me everything. Although my H did try damage limitation and said it was after a xmas party and he was drunk....he only told me the truth once OW send me email saying it was one week after work ...and i backed him into a corner saying he had one chance to tell me exactly what did happen. Then he told me it was sober and right after work in the car.

I know my husband loves me, and always has done, apart from this he has always treated me like a princess....almost to the point i'm on some kind of pedestal. He has always considered i'm too good looking for him! so why did he get tempted....I'm not being nasty but the OW was fat and not good looking. but he was tempted enough to try.....even if he didn't enjoy and stopped it before it got going.

But it really was a NSABJ because she never told me, although she could have easily....but then she was married herself. She left the place of work within a few weeks and says my H never spoke to her after that week they met.

I only found out because i found an old email archive on the laptop.
His disgust, desperation and embarrassment at me finding out what he did tells me this was a situation he sorely regrets and i believe this was a one off situation that he really believed would never be found out and so no risk to his marriage.....although i do wonder how he lived with himself knowing what he'd attempted to do.

I wonder also if you guys are being 100% honest, maybe this isn't the place where you would admit to being tempted?

Just wanted other men's opinion on what my H did...

Thanks for your time


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## sinnister

I DID turn it down. But I think about what might have been often as I lay restless at night in my sexless marriage.


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## sinnister

gemjo said:


> ok guys, i'm the wife.
> 
> I found out last year by reading an email which was sent almost 3 years previous that a female colleague was sending messages to my husband offering him a NSABJ.
> 
> She worked in his office for a few months.
> 
> our M background, very happily married, but very hectic home life, 4 kids, our life revolved around work and kids, alot of financial pressures. Both too busy for one another if i'm honest, and yes my H probably wasn't getting the attention he needed.
> 
> Things have since changed, kids moved off to Uni we now have nice times together, breaks away on our own, sex is better than ever....etc... I thought we were just plodding along until kids got older, BUT then i found out 3 years earlier he'd said he would meet this OW for 10 mins after work in his car.
> 
> He claims he got into the car and did not expect her to get in also, but she did. She started to perform and he says within seconds he told her to get out of the car.
> 
> She continued that week to message him and again he said he would meet her, but this time he said 'stop, i am happily married with kids and i don't want to do this' i tracked this OW down and told her i wanted full knowledge of everything that happened or i would send the emails to her H. She squealed like a pig and told me everything. Although my H did try damage limitation and said it was after a xmas party and he was drunk....he only told me the truth once OW send me email saying it was one week after work ...and i backed him into a corner saying he had one chance to tell me exactly what did happen. Then he told me it was sober and right after work in the car.
> 
> I know my husband loves me, and always has done, apart from this he has always treated me like a princess....almost to the point i'm on some kind of pedestal. He has always considered i'm too good looking for him! so why did he get tempted....I'm not being nasty but the OW was fat and not good looking. but he was tempted enough to try.....even if he didn't enjoy and stopped it before it got going.
> 
> But it really was a NSABJ because she never told me, although she could have easily....but then she was married herself. She left the place of work within a few weeks and says my H never spoke to her after that week they met.
> 
> I only found out because i found an old email archive on the laptop.
> His disgust, desperation and embarrassment at me finding out what he did tells me this was a situation he sorely regrets and i believe this was a one off situation that he really believed would never be found out and so no risk to his marriage.....although i do wonder how he lived with himself knowing what he'd attempted to do.
> 
> I wonder also if you guys are being 100% honest, maybe this isn't the place where you would admit to being tempted?
> 
> Just wanted other men's opinion on what my H did...
> 
> Thanks for your time


If we're being honest here, I'm pretty sure most men would be tempted by that offer. And many many many of them would follow through. Another thing you're right about is the "culture" over here frowns upon cheating immensely so I wouldnt doubt for a second that some answers are carefully worded.

And in the interest of being honest I must admit that the main reason I didnt follow through with my NSA romp was because I was terrified to mess up my work situation.


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## chillymorn

I believe that a large majority would like to think they would take NSA blow job.


and I think he was smart to stop her and seems like he had a holy sh*t why would I take a chance of screwing up my wonderful life for this.

I have turned down advances even though I was sexually unsatisfyed in my marriage. Not sure why though because I would even fantasize abut a NSA type of situation. but when it presented it self I just couldn't take a chance.


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## Pault

Simple answer to that one in my opinion.........
There is no such thing as a No Strings Attached betryal. Once you do it thats it cheating on all parties occurs. The fact that the other partners would not find out is a myth. Eventually someoen slips up and the truth will come out.


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## Dad&Hubby

I've never been offered that bluntly, but I've been hit on plenty of times and I always shut it down INSTANTLY. If I'm out shopping or something and a woman starts up a conversation with me, I make sure the FIRST response I give is something like "Oh yeah, my wife loves those too"...etc. 

Now that said, if a woman offered me a NSA anything and I knew 100% I wouldn't get caught, I'd NEVER do it for MANY MANY reasons.

I'm someone who lives by a strong code of right and wrong. I won't take money I didn't earn, I won't cheat on my spouse, I won't throw her under the bus even to make my life easier, etc. She is EVERYTHING to me and I'm not going to risk 1 minute of stress for 20 minutes of basic pleasure. Additionally, I know that if I was ever offered and I told my wife two things would happen. She'd hunt down that other woman and she'd give me the best mind blowing BJ I've ever had to make sure I wouldn't be tempted. And she KNOWS what she's doing when it comes to my body. So HECK NO would I ever risk losing a woman who is my best friend, my best lover, the best mother to my children over a BJ. I have more selfcontrol than that.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno

Sure, if you like giving over personal power to someone who can then blackmail you in the place of your employment. Go right ahead! There is no such thing as no strings attached in this situation. lol.


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## CandieGirl

gemjo said:


> How many married men would accept the genuine offer of a 'no strings attached BJ' from a colleague, knowing she is also married.
> 
> Are the majority of married men going to go for it if 99% chance wife is never going to find out about it?
> 
> Would love some feedback on this question
> 
> Gemjo


No strings attached except for being filmed and having it pop up on You Tube...Lmao!!!


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## In_The_Wind

gemjo said:


> ok guys, i'm the wife.
> 
> I found out last year by reading an email which was sent almost 3 years previous that a female colleague was sending messages to my husband offering him a NSABJ.
> 
> She worked in his office for a few months.
> 
> our M background, very happily married, but very hectic home life, 4 kids, our life revolved around work and kids, alot of financial pressures. Both too busy for one another if i'm honest, and yes my H probably wasn't getting the attention he needed.
> 
> Things have since changed, kids moved off to Uni we now have nice times together, breaks away on our own, sex is better than ever....etc... I thought we were just plodding along until kids got older, BUT then i found out 3 years earlier he'd said he would meet this OW for 10 mins after work in his car.
> 
> He claims he got into the car and did not expect her to get in also, but she did. She started to perform and he says within seconds he told her to get out of the car.
> 
> She continued that week to message him and again he said he would meet her, but this time he said 'stop, i am happily married with kids and i don't want to do this' i tracked this OW down and told her i wanted full knowledge of everything that happened or i would send the emails to her H. She squealed like a pig and told me everything. Although my H did try damage limitation and said it was after a xmas party and he was drunk....he only told me the truth once OW send me email saying it was one week after work ...and i backed him into a corner saying he had one chance to tell me exactly what did happen. Then he told me it was sober and right after work in the car.
> 
> I know my husband loves me, and always has done, apart from this he has always treated me like a princess....almost to the point i'm on some kind of pedestal. He has always considered i'm too good looking for him! so why did he get tempted....I'm not being nasty but the OW was fat and not good looking. but he was tempted enough to try.....even if he didn't enjoy and stopped it before it got going.
> 
> But it really was a NSABJ because she never told me, although she could have easily....but then she was married herself. She left the place of work within a few weeks and says my H never spoke to her after that week they met.
> 
> I only found out because i found an old email archive on the laptop.
> His disgust, desperation and embarrassment at me finding out what he did tells me this was a situation he sorely regrets and i believe this was a one off situation that he really believed would never be found out and so no risk to his marriage.....although i do wonder how he lived with himself knowing what he'd attempted to do.
> 
> I wonder also if you guys are being 100% honest, maybe this isn't the place where you would admit to being tempted?
> 
> Just wanted other men's opinion on what my H did...
> 
> Thanks for your time


Op I would tend to think that the men on this site are serious about their marriages or they wouldnt be here - just my opinion so we probably are not the norm statistically speaking. As Men mature and grow the heck up most men like to feel connected to a partner hence your husbands stopping the act basically before it escalated. 

Good Sh!t test though lol


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## CandieGirl

gemjo said:


> ok guys, i'm the wife.
> 
> I found out last year by reading an email which was sent almost 3 years previous that a female colleague was sending messages to my husband offering him a NSABJ.
> 
> She worked in his office for a few months.
> 
> our M background, very happily married, but very hectic home life, 4 kids, our life revolved around work and kids, alot of financial pressures. Both too busy for one another if i'm honest, and yes my H probably wasn't getting the attention he needed.
> 
> Things have since changed, kids moved off to Uni we now have nice times together, breaks away on our own, sex is better than ever....etc... I thought we were just plodding along until kids got older, BUT then i found out 3 years earlier he'd said he would meet this OW for 10 mins after work in his car.
> 
> He claims he got into the car and did not expect her to get in also, but she did. She started to perform and he says within seconds he told her to get out of the car.
> 
> She continued that week to message him and again he said he would meet her, but this time he said 'stop, i am happily married with kids and i don't want to do this' i tracked this OW down and told her i wanted full knowledge of everything that happened or i would send the emails to her H. She squealed like a pig and told me everything. Although my H did try damage limitation and said it was after a xmas party and he was drunk....he only told me the truth once OW send me email saying it was one week after work ...and i backed him into a corner saying he had one chance to tell me exactly what did happen. Then he told me it was sober and right after work in the car.
> 
> I know my husband loves me, and always has done, apart from this he has always treated me like a princess....almost to the point i'm on some kind of pedestal. He has always considered i'm too good looking for him! so why did he get tempted....I'm not being nasty but the OW was fat and not good looking. but he was tempted enough to try.....even if he didn't enjoy and stopped it before it got going.
> 
> But it really was a NSABJ because she never told me, although she could have easily....but then she was married herself. She left the place of work within a few weeks and says my H never spoke to her after that week they met.
> 
> I only found out because i found an old email archive on the laptop.
> His disgust, desperation and embarrassment at me finding out what he did tells me this was a situation he sorely regrets and i believe this was a one off situation that he really believed would never be found out and so no risk to his marriage.....although i do wonder how he lived with himself knowing what he'd attempted to do.
> 
> I wonder also if you guys are being 100% honest, maybe this isn't the place where you would admit to being tempted?
> 
> Just wanted other men's opinion on what my H did...
> 
> Thanks for your time


I'm not a man, OP, but your story and others like it, terrify me. I'm interested in why a happily married man would risk it all for something like this 'NSABJ'...clearly, there was a lot more than just strings attached to this one; he got caught. I wonder if it was worth it for him to get half blown by some fat chick at the office...Imagine the boss had seen them in the parking lot...how is this 'no strings'? It's a whole frigging BALL of tangled up strings, IMHO...!

For me, that would be enough to walk out on him. Not only did he cheat on you, but he lied to you about it for 3 years.


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## sinnister

In_The_Wind said:


> Op I would tend to think that the men on this site are serious about their marriages or they wouldnt be here - just my opinion so we probably are not the norm statistically speaking. As Men mature and grow the heck up most men like to feel connected to a partner hence your husbands stopping the act basically before it escalated.
> 
> Good Sh!t test though lol


This is what I tried to say but ITW is much more articulate. :smthumbup:


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## Entropy3000

I guess I just do things based on what I think is right and wrong. I do not concern myself with some higher power or what others think. I am not saying I am not wary of concequences for actions within society but ultimately I do not act or not act based on being caught. LOL. I consider myself free from that stuff.

Yes I have seen statistics that say 75% of people would cheat if they new they would get away with it. Not so sure how scientific those numbers are. 

I guess I am in the 25%.


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## gemjo

Well yeah, it was offered literally as NSABJ and she never told, but it just goes to show the truth will out in the end.

3 years on and enjoying our marriage with kids flying the nest and poof....secret is outed.

Let that be a lesson, he seriously learned the hard way that wifey can find out, nobody covers their a*se that well....

Thanks guys


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## mel123

I know a gorges woman who worked for the same company I did. She would sleep with different managers then blackmail them to get promotions.

And it worked for her, so beware,........ don't be a fool and think with the little head between your legs. Think with the big head on your shoulders


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## rj700

What's that old saying? If it sounds to good to be true, it probably is.

I would like to think that I would turn it down. A few minutes of pleasure is not worth a marriage - even a shaky one. But I believe the temptation would be exponentially higher in a sex-starved marriage.


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## MaritimeGuy

rj700 said:


> What's that old saying? If it sounds to good to be true, it probably is.


This is exactly what I was thinking. I would have a hard time believing I wasn't somehow being set up in some way.

More importantly though I would know. I would have to spend the rest of my life looking my partner in the eye knowing I had cheated on her. It's not worth it. If I want a BJ I'll just ask my partner.


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## that_girl

Why would my husband do that?

I give him no-string-attached BJs all the time.

 well, ok fine, I do like when he makes me coffee afterwards.


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## hookares

gemjo said:


> How many married men would accept the genuine offer of a 'no strings attached BJ' from a colleague, knowing she is also married.
> 
> Are the majority of married men going to go for it if 99% chance wife is never going to find out about it?
> 
> Would love some feedback on this question
> 
> Gemjo


I'm no longer burdened with marriage, but the fact that the offer is coming from a married woman would be more than enough to turn down the favor.


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## WorkingOnMe

This reminds me of a time about a year ago. We live on a dirt road with only a few houses. Our house and one other is on the first part. Then you go through the woods and way in the back is a few other places. Mostly campers and squatters living back there. So one day I come home from work and there's a big sign at the entrance to our road. It read: "Free omelets and blowjobs" with an arrow down our road and a phone number. LOL

No, I didn't call the number.

I did however go home and make myself an omelet because that sounded damn good.


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## gbrad

Honestly, if the person offering were hot, I think I would probably rather just make out with her. That I would say yes to. BJ might be somewhat akward to do with a coworker. Kiss, make out, fool around overall; yah I would go for that. I wish that would happen.


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## livnlearn

Entropy3000 said:


> I guess I just do things based on what I think is right and wrong. I do not concern myself with some higher power or what others think. I am not saying I am not wary of concequences for actions within society but ultimately I do not act or not act based on being caught. LOL. I consider myself free from that stuff.
> 
> Yes I have seen statistics that say 75% of people would cheat if they new they would get away with it. Not so sure how scientific those numbers are.
> 
> I guess I am in the 25%.


Thanks for restoring my faith in humanity. :smthumbup:

There are countless number of things that are wrong to do that I have no doubt I could get away with. I don't even believe in a higher power, and yet I live my life trying to make the right choices. Steering clear of things that though may be beneficial to ME in some way, will hurt others in one way or another. It's called "self-respect" and I strive to keep mine intact. 

so in keeping with the original post..hypothetically, if I had a penis and was offered a NSA BJ, I'd say "hell no".


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## jaquen

If I am even at the point of seriously considering getting a "no strings attached" anything from a co-worker, there is a serious problem.

The idea of being caught or not would be the least of my concerns.

I have zip, zero, ziltch reason to even be tempted by this. However I don't know what the marital circumstances are like from the OP. I do know that men and women in chronically sexless marriages might be very tempted into a NSA sexual encounter.


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## bahbahsheep

yes quite fishy - why would a woman offer you a free BJ especially considering that she is also married? 


I am sure that her husband would see BJ as infidelity anyway so she might just as well had asked for full on sexual intercourse with you.


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## Aggie

gemjo said:


> How many married men would accept the genuine offer of a 'no strings attached BJ' from a colleague, knowing she is also married.
> 
> Are the majority of married men going to go for it if 99% chance wife is never going to find out about it?
> 
> Would love some feedback on this question
> 
> Gemjo


Thinking about it, I feel like I could say yes. But in past situations (not as extreme as this one), I oddly didn't even have the desire to when it was time for deciding.

My wife and I worked out something pretty awesome. I promise to tell her if I ever am put in this kind of a situation, and she promises to multiply what that could have been. Too bad this doesn't happen more often


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## Drover

I turned it down.


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## norajane

> He claims he got into the car and did not expect her to get in also, but she did. She started to perform and he says within seconds he told her to get out of the car.
> 
> She continued that week to message him *and again he said he would meet her*, but this time he said 'stop, i am happily married with kids and i don't want to do this'


So, he stopped her the first time in the middle of the bj, but then agreed to meet for a second time and stopped her again?

This whole thing sounds really fishy.

It's sex, so it's cheating. How many men would cheat if they knew their wives would never know? We'll never really know.


----------



## gbrad

norajane said:


> So, he stopped her the first time in the middle of the bj, but then agreed to meet for a second time and stopped her again?
> 
> This whole thing sounds really fishy.
> 
> It's sex, so it's cheating. How many men would cheat if they knew their wives would never know? We'll never really know.


How many spouses would if they knew they would not get caught? Not just husbands. 
The question also has to be added, how many would cheat if they actually had the opportunity? I have never had the opportunity, so I haven't had the chance to say yes or no.


----------



## oldgeezer

gemjo said:


> I wonder also if you guys are being 100% honest, maybe this isn't the place where you would admit to being tempted?
> 
> Just wanted other men's opinion on what my H did...
> 
> Thanks for your time


Well, I can tell you this with certainty, even if I had never done a thing, my wife would assume I was tempted, which means, in her clearly stated opinion, that I"m just as guilty as having done it. 

So, proposition = guilt. 

I've never cheated in any way. But I'd never tell the wife if the opportunity came, either.


----------



## librarydragon

This whole "no strings" BJ between two married coworkers is more morally reprehensible than if they had a full blown (no pun intended) affair. At least affair partners have the illusion of emotion, fog or not.


----------



## gemjo

librarydragon said:


> This whole "no strings" BJ between two married coworkers is more morally reprehensible than if they had a full blown (no pun intended) affair. At least affair partners have the illusion of emotion, fog or not.


I can't agree with you, if it had to be my H was tempted by a purely physical act that he couldn't even go through with, or a full blown affair.....with someone he loved or thought he loved.....no choice, and no comparison. I would prefer to not be in this situation but an affair with love and emotions is much worse IMO


----------



## Maricha75

gbrad said:


> How many spouses would if they knew they would not get caught? Not just husbands.
> The question also has to be added, how many would cheat if they actually had the opportunity? I have never had the opportunity, so I haven't had the chance to say yes or no.


I had the opportunity. Twice. And I shut him down cold. And turned around and told my husband about it. The particular circumstances were unavoidable. My parents needed me to stay at their house overnight with the lady who lives with them. Mom and dad were out of town that night. My husband could have stayed overnight with me, but he has a hard enough time falling asleep in OUR bed, let alone trying to sleep in mom and dad's. But the guy was mom's neighbor and he tried to get me to invite him over while they were gone...twice. So, I can honestly say that, given the opportunity, *I* would, and DID, say no.


----------



## gbrad

Maricha75 said:


> I had the opportunity. Twice. And I shut him down cold. And turned around and told my husband about it. The particular circumstances were unavoidable. My parents needed me to stay at their house overnight with the lady who lives with them. Mom and dad were out of town that night. My husband could have stayed overnight with me, but he has a hard enough time falling asleep in OUR bed, let alone trying to sleep in mom and dad's. But the guy was mom's neighbor and he tried to get me to invite him over while they were gone...twice. So, I can honestly say that, given the opportunity, *I* would, and DID, say no.


Then the concept of actually being attracted to the one offering and asking yourself if you would want to. If someone is not attracted to the offerer and/or doesn't want to, then it shouldn't be too difficult to say no. But on the other hand, if there is a physical attraction and a desire to accept the offer, that is when saying no can become much more difficult.


----------



## CH

If she wants to give it to you, who else is she giving it to. And what do those other guys have in their bodies.....

Can still get herpes from BJs and many other STDs.


----------



## Dr. Rockstar

Having never been offered a free hummer or romp in the hay, I'd like to say that I would never accept such an offer if for no reason than there is no such thing as "the wife will never find out." hypotheticals don't exist with these type of questions.


----------



## muskrat

I wouldn't do it. Even if my w never found out, I would know and I couldn't live with myself. 
I have had the opportunity twice, once years ago while I was in a committed relationship and once since I was married.


----------



## RandomDude

I'm hard to please with BJs, dont' know why. My wife is one of the few who can do it right as well. So even if I was a disloyal bastard I doubt I would take up a random BJ offer


----------



## dmz

you have to ask yourself how would you feel when you find out that your wife was giving NSA bj to all the dudes that give her that attention and energy that you are wasting thiinking about a co worker, if you are committed...honor your wife. peace


----------



## gemjo

Aggie said:


> Thinking about it, I feel like I could say yes. But in past situations (not as extreme as this one), I oddly didn't even have the desire to when it was time for deciding.
> 
> My wife and I worked out something pretty awesome. I promise to tell her if I ever am put in this kind of a situation, and she promises to multiply what that could have been. Too bad this doesn't happen more often



I said this to my H, who was offered the NSABJ. If you'd have just come home to me and told me some woman was after giving you BJ, I would have gone to kill her yes, but i certainly would have upped the anti in the bedroom!


----------



## WorkingOnMe

gemjo said:


> I said this to my H, who was offered the NSABJ. If you'd have just come home to me and told me some woman was after giving you BJ, I would have gone to kill her yes, but i certainly would have upped the anti in the bedroom!


Why not up the anti anyway? Why does some chick have to offer your man a nsabj for you to step it up?


----------



## 40isthenew20

gemjo said:


> I said this to my H, who was offered the NSABJ. If you'd have just come home to me and told me some woman was after giving you BJ, I would have gone to kill her yes, but i certainly would have upped the anti in the bedroom!


Gives me an idea:
"Honey, I'm home. Guess what happened to me at work today?"


----------



## Fail-Man

I think the risk of getting caught would not be the big issue. Living with it in your head sure would take it's toll. We are are own best/worst enemy. I feel I have to live with any and all decisions I make and that is enough discipline in itself. 
Walking, working, sleeping, eating, living, the list goes on- with something like that would be terrible.


----------



## BeachGuy

I wonder if OP really expected anyone to respond to this and say "Yes, I sure as hell would"?

No one will publicly admit they might. Me personally, I really can't say how I'd respond since my marriage is in such poor shape. Although it being a co-worker would probably be plenty for me to say no.


----------



## WorkingOnMe

BeachGuy said:


> I wonder if OP really expected anyone to respond to this and say "Yes, I sure as hell would"?
> 
> No one will publicly admit they might. Me personally, I really can't say how I'd respond since my marriage is in such poor shape. Although it being a co-worker would probably be plenty for me to say no.


Read post #61 above. OPs husband was offered this and it sounds like he accepted. Now she's trying to figure out if every guy would have accepted.


----------



## WorkingOnMe

Honestly there were times in my marriage when this would have been hard to resist. We definitely weren't getting the job done together in the bedroom at all. And no, I would not have told her about the offer in an attempt to get her to step up her game.


----------



## unbelievable

Every decision carries consequences. Anyone who gets freaky with a colleague at work is just asking for trouble. If I were inclined to step outside my marriage, it wouldn't happen at work. That's like committing career suicide.


----------



## sinnister

I agree with UNBELIEVABLE.

But I have to be real. I would love a NSA BJ. I can have one but Im not ready to act on it.


----------



## unbelievable

I'd love a ride on a unicorn. They just don't exist.


----------



## SlowlyGettingWiser

As a woman, I'd have to say that any man who REALLY believes this would be NSA...is a moron!


----------



## tonyarz

I wouldn't accept this. If I was single I would do it, but I couldn't do that to my wife. Plus she would leave me if I did and she found out somehow. It's not worth the risk.


----------



## gbrad

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> As a woman, I'd have to say that any man who REALLY believes this would be NSA...is a moron!


Hypothetical. Just imagining the idea is fun in and of itself. Hypothetical.


----------



## tjohnson

NO, 

I think most men would answer that the would not and never would. Personally, the guilt would kill me even if i knew i there was no chance for being caught. BTW that is an unrealistic thing that they would not find out. These things always have strings. 

However, I get BJs at home. Not as often as i would like but, i get them. As a man who loves them it would be very tempting if I were not satisfied at home. I think this goes for sex in general. Deprive a man of sex, make him resentful then put him in a compromising position where his lower brain operates and i believe anything is possible. 

I could right a book (or a very long post on this) but, i believe the proverbial magnetic pull that a sexy women can have on a man is very powerful. I believe many a well-intended men, have have cheated in moments of weakness. Mix too booze, lust etc. and it is a recipe for disaster. This is precisely why I avoid bars or other types of venues where i could such temptations could present themselves.


----------



## tryingtoenjoylife

A few of my own comments that likely are different from others.

1) On the issue of blackmail, etc. If you had any doubt whatsoever that the woman offering said BJ was going to use it to her advantage you should immediately report the offer to human resources as a sexual harassment claim. Why? To protect yourself. A woman who offers for the purpose of getting promoted, etc. doesn't need to complete the act for it to work. I believe that a certain Michael Douglas/Demi Moore movie is a classic example. Michael was tempted and didn't want to ruin his marriage. By not telling work or his wife, he put himself in jeopardy.

2) I find it hard to believe that there are so many guys on this website so happy with their marriages that they would type in here that they would turn it down because they are happily married. I personally first came to this site because I have many UNhappy issues in my marriage. If things were going great in my marriage I would have never stumbled on this site.

3) Fact of the matter is, if I were happy with my sex life at home the offer wouldn't be attractive. If I were unhappy (as I am) you bet. However, I have been offered a lot of things from a lot of young customers at one of my companies and have turned them down simply because of fear of getting caught. That said, I have started an affair - GASP - because of the lack of sex life and no desire of my wife to change things. However it is a discreet affair.

So ladies, those of you that give BJs to your husband regularly BRAVO. I would hope that your husband doesn't take up an offer like this. Those that don't - all bets are off. As a guy I am willing to do whatever my wife wants sexually so wanting a bj from time to time isn't a lot to ask in my book. 

Yeah, I have problems in my marriage but I am not leaving the situation as long as I have kids at home. 

By the way, if I went home and said I was offered a BJ from someone my wife would respond in 2 ways. 1) She would sarcastically say, "Have at it." 2) She would not make an offer herself.


----------



## Anubis

gemjo said:


> How many married men would accept the genuine offer of a 'no strings attached BJ' from a colleague, knowing she is also married.
> 
> Are the majority of married men going to go for it if 99% chance wife is never going to find out about it?
> 
> Would love some feedback on this question
> 
> Gemjo


Nope. I couldn't live with myself, and everywhere I go, there I am, so there's no getting away. Even if it was 100% sure she wouldn't find out, I'd know.


----------



## ReformedHubby

Before I told my wife about my cheating. I would've done it in heartbeat. I also think that about 50% men would do it maybe more.


----------



## Thound

I like to be able to sleep at night.


----------



## Caribbean Man

gemjo said:


> *How many married men would accept the genuine offer of a 'no strings attached BJ' from a colleague, knowing she is also married.*
> 
> Are the majority of married men going to go for it if 99% chance wife is never going to find out about it?
> 
> Would love some feedback on this question
> 
> Gemjo



There is nothing free in this life.
People always have expectations,whether expressed or implicit ,when they extend " favours."


----------



## Suspecting

I would accept if she were a zzzombie from 2012.


----------



## Kaboom

1. There's no such thing as NSA unless you hookup on craigslist and use a fake name and meet somewhere anonymous.
2. 99% of the guys who said no, are liars too.
3. If nothing else, I'm honest. Yes, I would.


----------



## Jax10

Okay....first off...the chances of this actually happening would seem to be zero. In this situation, would a gal just give a BJ? I just don't see it.

That being said, I would say a lot of faithful, happy men, would probably cave and accept it under the right circumstances (depends on where and when).

In the spirit of honesty, I would likely cave as well.


----------



## toonaive

NO. I saw what my wifes cheating and guilt did to her over the years. It did much more than destroy our marriage. It wrecked my soul. I would never risk inflicting that kind of damage on myself or anybody else. Its not worth it.


----------



## samyeagar

I can honestly say no I wouldn't. How can I say that? Because I have been in this situation. Even when things were at their worst, I had opportunities to cheat on my ex wife and am nearly 100% certain I could have gotten away with it, but I didn't.


----------



## chillymorn

I used to dream of this happening.... and thought I would jump at the chance. until It actually happened and I just couldn't do it.

you never know how you will react in certin situations. 

glad I had the morals to not let it happen....I will say that it was one of if not to most tempted I have ever been in my life.


----------



## VermisciousKnid

Any time you have to consider the odds of getting caught you know you are doing the wrong thing. Doesn't matter if the odds are 0%. Wrong is wrong. There's no way to undo it. There's no way to forget it. 

I suppose the question is more like "How many people have moral and ethical standards?" If they do have them there's no amount of rationalization that could get them to cheat at anything. If they don't have them it's a question of whether they would get caught.


----------



## samyeagar

VermisciousKnid said:


> *Any time you have to consider the odds of getting caught you know you are doing the wrong thing*. Doesn't matter if the odds are 0%. Wrong is wrong. There's no way to undo it. There's no way to forget it.
> 
> I suppose the question is more like "How many people have moral and ethical standards?" If they do have them there's no amount of rationalization that could get them to cheat at anything. If they don't have them it's a question of whether they would get caught.


I don't think merely CONSIDERING the odds means much of anything. We all do that all the time about a lot of things. The issue is when you use the odds to determine or rationalize your course of action.


----------



## samyeagar

samyeagar said:


> I can honestly say no I wouldn't. How can I say that? Because I have been in this situation. Even when things were at their worst, I had opportunities to cheat on my ex wife and am nearly 100% certain I could have gotten away with it, but I didn't.


Getting caught was never a consideration in why I did't. I was never really tempted. I didn't do it because it was wrong.


----------



## VermisciousKnid

samyeagar said:


> I don't think merely CONSIDERING the odds means much of anything. We all do that all the time about a lot of things. The issue is when you use the odds to determine or rationalize your course of action.


So as a 100% non-cheater you've been offered a NSABJ and considered the odds anyway? Or was it more of a hypothetical? Either way it seems like a strange road to go down given the fact that you view it as wrong. I guess that's what temptation really is.


----------



## samyeagar

VermisciousKnid said:


> So as a 100% non-cheater you've been offered a NSABJ and considered the odds anyway? Or was it more of a hypothetical? Either way it seems like a strange road to go down given the fact that you view it as wrong. I guess that's what temptation really is.


I have been offered more than NSABJ's and yeah, considered that I would have almost no chance of getting caught. I can see what you are saying about considering the odds seeming like feeling temptation, but there were never any odds that would have allowed me to do it.


----------



## Bluecollar

Obvious reasons aside, which everyone has touched on already, we live in a litigious society of which accepting said BJ could have severe legal and financial consequences. She could blackmail you with it for some kind of gains, or maybe its a ploy to get you fired.


----------



## Deejo

Depends on what she looks like.

And she'd have to pay me. I don't just give this sh!t away ya'know. Oh, and she'd have to take me someplace for dinner afterward.

With all that, I'd think about it ...


----------



## AlphaProvider

Jax10 said:


> Okay....first off...the chances of this actually happening would seem to be zero. In this situation, would a gal just give a BJ? I just don't see it.
> 
> That being said, I would say a lot of faithful, happy men, would probably cave and accept it under the right circumstances (depends on where and when).
> 
> In the spirit of honesty, I would likely cave as well.


I've had it happen to me in my past "just a BJ".


----------



## AlphaProvider

Bluecollar said:


> Obvious reasons aside, which everyone has touched on already, we live in a litigious society of which accepting said BJ could have severe legal and financial consequences. She could blackmail you with it for some kind of gains, or maybe its a ploy to get you fired.


Maybe she's friends or enemies with your spouse and is "getting even". Or getting some stuff on you or her?


----------



## Convection

Caribbean Man said:


> There is nothing free in this life.
> People always have expectations,whether expressed or implicit ,when they extend " favours."


Yeah, this. There are always strings attached, whether spoken or not. Maybe I am too cynical but I would be thinking:










Rub one out in the restroom. It's safer.


----------



## Suspecting

Funny how no one has mentioned the possibility of catching STDs.


----------



## Accipiter777

gemjo said:


> How many married men would accept the genuine offer of a 'no strings attached BJ' from a colleague, knowing she is also married.
> 
> Are the majority of married men going to go for it if 99% chance wife is never going to find out about it?
> 
> Would love some feedback on this question
> 
> Gemjo


Already have declined. On more than one occasion. Twice during a bad time, once during good times. As a matter of fact.. the first 2 events were pivotal in ending a damn near 10 year dry spell... told my wife she makes it VERY difficult for me to turn down this. She is the ONLY one that can provide me with this need. Its been two years... and sex has NEVER been better. Best of all... I have no guilt because nothing happened.


----------



## AlphaProvider

Deejo said:


> Depends on what she looks like.
> 
> And she'd have to pay me. I don't just give this sh!t away ya'know. Oh, and she'd have to take me someplace for dinner afterward.
> 
> With all that, I'd think about it ...


Sounds about right, can't allow her to give a free blowjob to you, what do she think this is?


----------



## AlphaProvider

Suspecting said:


> Funny how no one has mentioned the possibility of catching STDs.


They don't exist in affair land.


----------



## samyeagar

Suspecting said:


> Funny how no one has mentioned the possibility of catching STDs.


I understand what you are getting at, but this misses the point of the original question. Boiled down, the original question is taking off the table ANY and ALL consequenses, would you have an affair? It is a basic morality question...are you a cheater or not?


----------



## NextTimeAround

I can't think of anything more unseemly than offering a BJ to a guy that I have no other close relationship to. I guess I am never going to understand some of the sisterhood.

The possibility of getting caught is great. And even greater if your cheating partner is part of one of your circles. Your work circle is a pretty important one. I learned myself from my single days, that an FB was best chosen far away from my normal social circle. Who wants to take a chance with someone who might get mad at you for whatever reason and start being indiscreet.

One piece of history here to remember. The affair between Princess Margaret and Group Captain Townsend came to light to the public when she was found touching his outer clothing to remove some lint off his jacket.


----------



## chillymorn

het stranger want a bj

I don't know do you swallow?

yes


no way who knows where that mouths been.


----------



## Suspecting

samyeagar said:


> I understand what you are getting at, but this misses the point of the original question. Boiled down, the original question is taking off the table ANY and ALL consequenses, would you have an affair? It is a basic morality question...are you a cheater or not?


Actually it does not miss it. There is no mention of any and all consequences taken off, just the possibility of the wife finding out and no strings attached. The possibility of catching STDs or something else is still in effect in this scenario. Original question:



gemjo said:


> How many married men would accept the genuine offer of a 'no strings attached BJ' from a colleague, knowing she is also married.
> 
> Are the majority of married men going to go for it if 99% chance wife is never going to find out about it?
> 
> Would love some feedback on this question
> 
> Gemjo


----------



## Zatol Ugot?

gemjo said:


> How many married men would accept the genuine offer of a 'no strings attached BJ' from a colleague, knowing she is also married.
> 
> Are the majority of married men going to go for it if 99% chance wife is never going to find out about it?
> 
> Would love some feedback on this question
> 
> Gemjo


No. Chance. In. Hell.


----------



## samyeagar

Suspecting said:


> Actually it does not miss it. There is no mention of any and all consequences taken off, just the possibility of the wife finding out and no strings attached. The possibility of catching STDs or something else is still in effect in this scenario. Original question:


Of course you are free to read into, or not read into the original question as it were, but I do think the intent of the question was exactly as I stated. No strings attached to me would include things like STD's, legal and employment complications...those seem to be strings to me as if you got an STD, sued, or fired, your spouse would likely find out because those would be pretty hard to explain away...


----------



## Suspecting

samyeagar said:


> Of course you are free to read into, or not read into the original question as it were, but I do think the intent of the question was exactly as I stated. No strings attached to me would include things like STD's, legal and employment complications...those seem to be strings to me as if you got an STD, sued, or fired, your spouse would likely find out because those would be pretty hard to explain away...


How do you know what the OP's intention was? I'm reading the question as it was written and it's you who is assuming there is more into it than the OP posted.

No strings attached has nothing to do with STDs. In this case its meaning is the same as friends with benefits.


----------



## NextTimeAround

Suspecting said:


> Actually it does not miss it. There is no mention of any and all consequences taken off, just the possibility of the wife finding out and no strings attached. The possibility of catching STDs or something else is still in effect in this scenario. Original question:


My father said that this happened to his accountant. He picked a chick up while traveling. She drugged him and stole his credit cards. This was the '80s. Had to explain to the wife.


----------



## AlphaProvider

NextTimeAround said:


> My father said that this happened to his accountant. He picked a chick up while traveling. She drugged him and stole his credit cards. This was the '80s. Had to explain to the wife.


What if she had some of her male friends sodomize him, or hit him over the head or kill him?

It happens. Why I said affairs are no joke, there is a good percentage of this which is normal and people ignore these real world risks.


----------



## VermisciousKnid

NSA only means that there are no obligations attached. It has nothing to do with unintended consequences like STDs. So I take the original question to mean that STDs aren't in the picture or they wouldn't increase the odds of getting caught. 

I think that people who base their behavior on the odds of getting caught are basically balancing on the cheater fence to different degrees. That makes them much different from the people who would never go there. Even though they may not have cheated yet they are still being disloyal in spirit.


----------



## Tomara

Hummmm
Ask old Bill Clinton about NSABJ's. There is no such critter. Remember the blue dress?


----------



## AlphaProvider

Tomara said:


> Hummmm
> Ask old Bill Clinton about NSABJ's. There is no such critter. Remember the blue dress?


"The devil in the blue dress"?


----------



## Memento

gemjo said:


> How many married men would accept the genuine offer of a 'no strings attached BJ' from a colleague, knowing she is also married.
> 
> Are the majority of married men going to go for it if 99% chance wife is never going to find out about it?
> 
> Would love some feedback on this question
> 
> Gemjo


Ewwwwwwwww! You have got to wonder were that mouth has been, after a nasty proposal like that.


----------



## Hope1964

Interesting responses.

There's the guys who admit they would do it.

There's the guys who say they wouldn't because of consequences (STD's, wife might find out, blackmail, work trouble, etc).

There's the guys who say they wouldn't because of their moral standards, or they love their wife too much, or they can get it at home better, etc.

There's the guys who say the very thought disgusts them.

It would be really interesting to rig up some kind of truth test for this and see how many guys would, actually, consider it, even for a millisecond. Measure how long it takes them to decide, first of all, yes or no to the BJ, and then how long they spend rationalizing their decision to themselves.


----------



## Catherine602

CandieGirl said:


> I'm not a man, OP, but your story and others like it, terrify me. I'm interested in why a happily married man would risk it all for something like this 'NSABJ'...clearly, there was a lot more than just strings attached to this one; he got caught. I wonder if it was worth it for him to get half blown by some fat chick at the office...Imagine the boss had seen them in the parking lot...how is this 'no strings'? It's a whole frigging BALL of tangled up strings, IMHO...!
> 
> For me, that would be enough to walk out on him. Not only did he cheat on you, but he lied to you about it for 3 years.


This was my thought when I read this. Even a man who seems happily married, sexual needs met, considers his wife a friend and confidant and who has good character would go for this. Fifteen minutes of pleasure with a sexually unattractive woman. 

He is willing to risk devastating his wife, destabilizing his kids life, the possibility of bringing home an STD to a wife who he says he loves. A wife who has been a friend, companion, and who is meeting his sexual and emotional needs. 

Some men seem so easily manipulated by sex. Nothing a good wife does is enough for these men. As long as a woman is offering pleasure and the circumstances are optimal for him, nothing matters. 

I wonder if this is one factor that makes some woman so indifferent to their husbands sexual needs. They may feel that no matter what they do it will never be enough. So why bother to expend so much energy. 

OP your husband does not appreciate what he has. His pleasure is more important than anything else in his life. You and your kids mean nothing when a woman waves the possibility of free sex in his face. 

You are letting him off the hook easily. With no consequences, he does not learn appreciate what you do for him. Just imagine if you should have a bad spell in your marriage and he gets another offer. He may go for it. 

I think you need to make him feel consequences and to show you that he knows the value of you and his family and appreciates what he has. That may give him pause next time and there will be more than one next time.


----------



## Kobo

OP, Have you asked why your husband was offered this mythical "no strings attached bj"? 

Let's be real, does anyone think that this bj would not have been followed up with an offer for round 2,3,4,5 and then a "now you do me"?


----------



## committed_guy

I pray this temptation never comes my way. I've only ever received a proper bj once by a former gf, but never dated anyone that liked that (even she never did it past that one time). My wife thinks oral is icky and wrong, although she's done it a little bit on me before in the past. Under the wrong circumstances I may be tempted to say yes if offered.


----------



## ASummersDay

This thread disturbs me a bit.


----------



## fourwheeler431

I can honestly say,even though I'm going through a divorce right now,it wouldn't matter if the woman offering was married or not,that I would say no,not until my divorce is final and she was single as well,maybe I'm weird like that but until the judge signs my papers I'm still married. I know my STBXW wouldn't care if I did,but I just couldn't do it.


----------



## I Notice The Details

AlphaProvider said:


> "The devil in the blue dress"?


Even a Maytag washer couldn't get "that" stain out of Monica's blue dress!


----------



## NextTimeAround

I Notice The Details said:


> Even a Maytag washer couldn't get "that" stain out of Monica's blue dress!


Guess that meant that Monica didn't swallow.


----------



## Tomara

NextTimeAround said:


> Guess that meant that Monica didn't swallow.


OMG that would be a resounding yes NTA!


----------



## moco82

Of course we'd be tempted. I often replay all the episodes from my youth when I was too stupid to capitalize on sexual opportunities, thinking there would be plenty of time ahead. Alas, time waits for no man.


----------



## JustSomeGuyWho

lol ... I want to know what the hell is wrong with me ... I've never had anybody offer me just a bj. Crap, I'm in good shape ... even my doctor last week told me he was jealous (my BP was a little high and riding me about some things - stress mostly - and he said as he was examining me ... wow, man you have some good genes ... don't waste them ... I could never look like that) All these guys in here saying they've been offered must be some good looking fellas. I would turn it down ... but hell, it would be nice to get that kind of offer some time, lol.


----------



## JCD

gemjo said:


> How many married men would accept the genuine offer of a 'no strings attached BJ' from a colleague, knowing she is also married.
> 
> Are the majority of married men going to go for it if 99% chance wife is never going to find out about it?
> 
> Would love some feedback on this question
> 
> Gemjo


Finally took the bait to look at this post.

There are always strings. You might not see them, but they are there. Some men are willing to ignore them.


----------



## AlphaProvider

JCD said:


> Finally took the bait to look at this post.
> 
> There are always strings. You might not see them, but they are there. Some men are willing to ignore them.


People who do this will gossip. So it will get out. So I guess at the worst case, your spouse will be at a company party with you, you have your spouse there and your contact who did the sexual act with you are talking and your spouse oddly feels all alone and like everyone knows something that she doesn't know.


----------



## Quant

I'm already drained by the time I'm at work plus its a nerd fest at work.


----------



## awake1

Ive been offered this before in reality and turned it down. No one would have know except me and the woman. I didnt because its not right.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Justaguy1

I know its an old post. But the wife posting this wasn't being very honest. IMO. This is the wrong place to ask that questions because lets face it, any guy coming here is mostly likely to either strengthen his marriage or repair it.

My question to her ,and I'm not trying to be crude, would be when is the last time her husband got really good oral sex at home.


----------



## sgreenberg

FWIW, I'd be tempted but quite certain I'd turn it down. It's cheating, and I don't cheat.


----------



## SA's husband

gemjo said:


> How many married men would accept the genuine offer of a 'no strings attached BJ' from a colleague, knowing she is also married.
> 
> Are the majority of married men going to go for it if 99% chance wife is never going to find out about it?
> 
> Would love some feedback on this question
> 
> Gemjo


I've only been offered rhubarb jelly and a phone number in all my years working, but I'd never go for this, I love my wife and family too much. I wouldn't be able to look her in the eyes again, not to mention the guilt that would eat at me. I would feel the same even when she was dry in this area for many years.


----------



## JustSomeGuyWho

moco82 said:


> Of course we'd be tempted. I often replay all the episodes from my youth when I was too stupid to capitalize on sexual opportunities, thinking there would be plenty of time ahead. Alas, time waits for no man.


Ha! They call those masturbatory memories


----------



## lapdog

Kaboom said:


> 1. There's no such thing as NSA unless you hookup on craigslist and use a fake name and meet somewhere anonymous.
> 2. 99% of the guys who said no, are liars too.
> 3. If nothing else, I'm honest. Yes, I would.



#1. I agree, there is NO such thing. Sooner or later, the string will get pulled.
2. Totally disagree. I believe that most men in a solid relationship would decline. Once you cross the line, it is strictly downhill. Either the guilt of your own actions, or the distrust of your wife, fostered in your mind by your cheating, will eventually destroy the relationship.


----------



## treyvion

lapdog said:


> #1. I agree, there is NO such thing. Sooner or later, the string will get pulled.
> 2. Totally disagree. I believe that most men in a solid relationship would decline. Once you cross the line, it is strictly downhill. Either the guilt of your own actions, or the distrust of your wife, fostered in your mind by your cheating, will eventually destroy the relationship.


Many of us who have been through this drill ( cheated on and cheating ourselves ) will pass it up.

The reason is, we value a relationship and wouldn't give a player the thrill at our significant others expense.

Someone always knows. Like I said those workplace c0********s talk. They sure do.

That player wanted to know they could get you... They knew you were married. Your a little notch on their scorecard. They go right and tell the other male and female players. Compare notes and all, talk about your marriage, say you aren't crap for doing it, etc.


----------



## chillymorn

nothing in life is free my boy!

no truer words were spoke.


----------



## mrbambino

Yes it sounds exciting but No you shouldn't do that to your SO


----------



## TCSRedhead

Hub gets NSA BJs all the time. At home and other places. From me. And can video them for playback over and over again later. It makes getting them elsewhere a lot less appealing.


----------



## WorkingOnMe

SA's husband said:


> I've only been offered rhubarb jelly and a phone number in all my years working, but I'd never go for this, I love my wife and family too much. I wouldn't be able to look her in the eyes again, not to mention the guilt that would eat at me. I would feel the same even when she was dry in this area for many years.


I'd totally go for it. What can I say, I just love jelly.


----------



## WorkingOnMe

TCSRedhead said:


> Hub gets NSA BJs all the time. At home and other places. From me. And can video them for playback over and over again later. It makes getting them elsewhere a lot less appealing.


And she's a redhead people! Ya. Sigh.


----------



## TCSRedhead

Redhead or no - If I were to be judged as 'marriage material' by the TAMite creed, I'd have never passed those standards. More than single digit previous sexual partners, young single mom, etc. 

Oh and to blow a lot of people's minds, Hub is a SAHD who still gets action normally more than 2x/week.


----------



## treyvion

TCSRedhead said:


> Redhead or no - If I were to be judged as 'marriage material' by the TAMite creed, I'd have never passed those standards. More than single digit previous sexual partners, young single mom, etc.
> 
> Oh and to blow a lot of people's minds, Hub is a SAHD who still gets action normally more than 2x/week.


My woman needs to talk to you... Not that she's on the way, but to talk with a wife who explicitly feels the way you do. Some of the women think doing all you do for your husband is giving up the advantage or selling herself short or using herself...


----------



## NextTimeAround

TCSRedhead said:


> Redhead or no - If I were to be judged as 'marriage material' by the TAMite creed, I'd have never passed those standards. More than single digit previous sexual partners, young single mom, etc.
> 
> Oh and to blow a lot of people's minds, Hub is a SAHD who still gets action normally more than 2x/week.



Well, this one's for you:

Enjoli - 1980 - YouTube


----------



## treyvion

NextTimeAround said:


> Well, this one's for you:
> 
> Enjoli - 1980 - YouTube


That's an old commercial.

Are you saying the norm is more "sex in the city" for marrieds, and her style of taking care of her relation partner is old school?


----------



## TCSRedhead

treyvion said:


> My woman needs to talk to you... Not that she's on the way, but to talk with a wife who explicitly feels the way you do. Some of the women think doing all you do for your husband is giving up the advantage or selling herself short or using herself...


A lot of my sexuality in my marriage is also tied to how safe and secure I feel in my relationship with him. He makes it a safe environment for me to say/do anything I want with him sexually (barring any other people) without reaction of it being slvtty.

If I told him I wanted to take pole dancing classes, he'd be nothing but supportive. If I bring home lingerie, he's all on board. Send him naked texts - nothing but compliments. 

Start dating and seducing your wife and get her to respond to that. Tell her what you want.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

TCSRedhead said:


> A lot of my sexuality in my marriage is also tied to how safe and secure I feel in my relationship with him. He makes it a safe environment for me to say/do anything I want with him sexually (barring any other people) without reaction of it being slvtty.


THIS is so f**king key I can't even give it enough likes to express it.
Adding to it regarding SO and me, I don't have to worry about something I've said or done in the bedroom costing me the respect he gives me outside of the bedroom.I can act like a piece of ass tart on those naughty occasions without worrying that he'll treat me like that in our every day life.


----------



## NextTimeAround

treyvion said:


> That's an old commercial.
> 
> Are you saying the norm is more "sex in the city" for marrieds, and her style of taking care of her relation partner is old school?


Wow, those thoughts never entered my mind.


----------



## treyvion

TCSRedhead said:


> A lot of my sexuality in my marriage is also tied to how safe and secure I feel in my relationship with him. He makes it a safe environment for me to say/do anything I want with him sexually (barring any other people) without reaction of it being slvtty.
> 
> If I told him I wanted to take pole dancing classes, he'd be nothing but supportive. If I bring home lingerie, he's all on board. Send him naked texts - nothing but compliments.
> 
> Start dating and seducing your wife and get her to respond to that. Tell her what you want.


I do. She talks real dirty to me too. She's rather methodical, so the growth of our sex zone is very very slow. Kinda like going a millimeter at a time, but there is slight slight progress forward.


----------



## TCSRedhead

treyvion said:


> I do. She talks real dirty to me too. She's rather methodical, so the growth of our sex zone is very very slow. Kinda like going a millimeter at a time, but there is slight slight progress forward.


And that's definitely the key. The more that she opens up, the more you support it, the more she opens up. 

We've been married for nearly 12 years now. I can tell you that there was some wild, crazy, hanging from the chandeliers years, some 'normal sex' times, and definitely a resurgence in the hot monkey sex but there has always been love and passion.


----------



## treyvion

TCSRedhead said:


> And that's definitely the key. The more that she opens up, the more you support it, the more she opens up.
> 
> We've been married for nearly 12 years now. I can tell you that there was some wild, crazy, hanging from the chandeliers years, some 'normal sex' times, and definitely a resurgence in the hot monkey sex but there has always been love and passion.


I kinda don't mind cause it's her comfort zone and i'm not forcing it, getting angry or manipulating it. The plus side is along the way we get to refine some things that I used to not put so much attention into.


----------



## Catherine602

committed_guy said:


> I pray this temptation never comes my way. I've only ever received a proper bj once by a former gf, but never dated anyone that liked that (even she never did it past that one time). My wife thinks oral is icky and wrong, although she's done it a little bit on me before in the past. Under the wrong circumstances I may be tempted to say yes if offered.


This may be an offhand comment but it disturbs me a great deal. I appreciate your honesty and hope you will answer some questions. My aim is not to shame you but to understand. I have a hard time believing that one sex act has so much power. 

What is it about an orgasm from a bj that makes it worth the risk of blowing up your life, hurting your wife and your kids? Does it concern you? Do you think it is a problem you need to control. 

Maybe i see this differently than most. i think that men should not allow themselves be controlled by sex. 

It surprises me that men who would be tempted by this offer would not see it as a reason for concern. Instead, they seem to blame their recklessness on their partner. That does not make sense to me. 

Does it occur to anyone else that bj's have the power of keeping some men honest, faithful, and caring about their wives, and kids? :scratchhead:


----------



## WorkingOnMe

What is it about one sex act that is so terrible that his wife would risk her whole marriage to avoid it?


----------



## Catherine602

WorkingOnMe said:


> What is it about one sex act that is so terrible that his wife would risk her whole marriage to avoid it?


Working, This is the way I see this as a woman. I have a constant fear of being interchangeable with any random woman who is more attractive and younger than me. There are millions of women who would qualify. 

So take that into account. When I read things like this it triggers that feeling of being nothing and not good enough because i dont do anything just right. 

If she knows or suspects her husband is like this, she hears what i hear i am sure. Her husband is telling her that a bj is more important than the risk of humiliating, deceiving and disrespecting her.

He is telling her that it would be more convenient to be serviced by her since she is at hand every day but if she can't be used then she is disposable. 

No matter how good a wife, companion and friend she is, if she refuses one thing, bj, then she is demoted to a position under a random stranger who has done nothing for him except give him 15 mins of pleasure. 

I cant understand how his wife is responsible for his lack of appreciation of her. 

He is willing to put his junk into any strange mouth. No questions asked except to make sure he is not caught. He does not know if she has a disease, if she is filming him, going to rob him and black mail him or has a sadistic streak and will bite his junk.

I bet he would not give her $10,000 dollars but he puts the source of all his pleasure and manhood in her mouth and risk blowing up his life.


----------



## Suspecting

WorkingOnMe said:


> What is it about one sex act that is so terrible that his wife would risk her whole marriage to avoid it?


What is it about one sex act that is so magnificent that her husband would risk his whole marriage to receive it?


----------



## WorkingOnMe

Suspecting said:


> What is it about one sex act that is so magnificent that her husband would risk his whole marriage to receive it?


Obviously that's what Catherine said. I was trying to point out that there are two perspectives to that issue.


----------



## Suspecting

WorkingOnMe said:


> Obviously that's what Catherine said. I was trying to point out that there are two perspectives to that issue.


Yes two perspectives but there should be only one standard.


----------



## WorkingOnMe

And what is that one standard? That the husband just goes without?


----------



## Caribbean Man

WorkingOnMe said:


> And what is that one standard? That the husband just goes without?


Funny how that type of logic * works.*


----------



## Suspecting

WorkingOnMe said:


> And what is that one standard? That the husband just goes without?


In that case they both would go without oral sex. Come on you can't force anyone to blow you if they are not willing.

What I meant with the "standard" was that there should not be the usual double standard. You said the wife should not ruin marriage for one sex act, meaning she should just blow him right? But it can be turned around and say the husband should not ruin marriage for one sex act, meaning he should just accept no BJ's. Otherwise it's a double standard don't you think.

And well done Caribbean Man joining the choir with prejudice before I could even answer the question. Clap.


----------



## WorkingOnMe

The problem is that there can't be one standard without one side losing. Compromise demands that both sides give a little. If there is only one standard, then who decides which standard to use?

Anyway this is all kind of academic anyway.


----------



## Caribbean Man

WorkingOnMe said:


> *Anyway this is all kind of academic anyway.*


Exactly!^^^


----------



## Suspecting

WorkingOnMe said:


> The problem is that there can't be one standard without one side losing. Compromise demands that both sides give a little. If there is only one standard, then who decides which standard to use?
> 
> Anyway this is all kind of academic anyway.


Do you understand what double standard means?


----------



## WorkingOnMe

Suspecting said:


> Do you understand what double standard means?


Excuse me? That's what you've got? Ok, I'm done with you.


----------



## Suspecting

WorkingOnMe said:


> Excuse me? That's what you've got? Ok, I'm done with you.


Why so angry? It seems from your posts you don't know what it means?


----------



## Catherine602

WorkingOnMe said:


> Obviously that's what Catherine said. I was trying to point out that there are two perspectives to that issue.


Please understand, I am not being reasonable. I am sharing the feelings evoked by the OP's question and some of the answers. I have no wish to judge because i am certain I don't really get it. I can comment and be honest. It's just me but maybe what many women feel. 

This is my impression - If a woman wants male companionship and/or get married, she has to give bj. The question she may ask herself - is she loved for her bj technique or because she is who she is. 

Logically, a man would not go through the time, expense and energy to commit and have kids with a woman for bj's. He can pick up a random women in a bar and get one every w/e if he wanted. 

After getting over my initial ick factor early in our marriage due to my immaturity, bj always seems like a loving act. I enjoy because it makes my husband so happy.

kind of surprised that some women feel used by their husbands. I feel really appreciated and important to my husband and have only positive feelings about giving. 

But, I can understand losing those positive feelings if I felt under appreciated and ignored. 

In my view, it is fatal to say "if you don't give it I can get it elsewhere". Most women know that some men say these things but she hopes her husband thinks she is special to him. 

Moreover, she will likely be repulsed by the idea of performing a sex service for a man who is not worthy of her respect. 

There are lots of reasons women don't like bj but they can be enticed to overcome reticence with patience. Also, she should never feel it is the price of a mans loyalty. 

Anywho, going to leave this thread alone so that aberrant feelings don't creep into my head. 

Just thought it would help to share how I feel not how reasonable I am. Perhaps it's would be a useful strategy for men to control how bj's are regarded in their relationship.


----------



## Catherine602

One more thing, no I don't think the standard should be that the husband does without. 

The principle should be that both parties work to make each other feel special, loved and respected. Many good men sacrifice their health to support their family. A bj is not recompense for that but taking care of him should be. 

Why can't a bj be among the things his wife does to appreciate all of him? Can't argue with that can you? I would not bring all of the stupid things that teenage males say about sex into a relationship with a mature man. 

It's not fair nor is it functional. I don't think men should bring any of the negative women are........ blah blah ...... into the marriage either. If he has, he should work it out of his system.


----------



## SimplyAmorous

I could seriously kick myself in the a$$ for the years I didn't do those BJ's.. he didn't try to get me to go there - pretty much because of a mindless comment I made one stupid day...thinking outloud... it was never meant to be personal....and he knew that.. .but yet he took it to heart....we can laugh about it now.. .he just never pushed or teased me to go there... Darn him I say! 

NOW I basically worship at the Throne... Bjs to me is..."making Love" with my mouth, he likes 'em slow & sensual - then it builds... I can't get enough, thought I was going to make him numb at one time.. .. I was thinking ....OMG how awful it would be to get an injury there and this go NUMB...I'd be freaking devastated (not to mention him).....it's the most amazing organ God has ever created when you think about it! 

He's always made me feel safe, alive, beautiful, I have no fears he would see me as being a SL** , he knows it's all for him and him alone.. all men want this and if they are good men treating their women right, they deserve a truckload of them too.. we should want to give such men the world ... because they have been so damn good to us.. the gift of Pleasure and desire-- this is priceless and nothing can bring a man more happiness than to be LOVED like this.. Rocked like this.. ... 

I just wish, would give anything to go back in time & relive our earlier years... I've gotten very upset ...have cried tears just thinking about it... what I feel we've missed...what I withheld from him in my ignorance...it should have never never never been! 

If only more women...the MARRIED woman....were talking about Sex with enthusiasm, with excitement ... to our younger generation....Had I had this to mentor me somehow... the beauty of marital pleasure in every form... all I ever heard about was the bad girls doing this sort of thing.. and I associated it with porn, Prostitutes..... which was very very wrong of me to do. Da** it. 

How we please our husbands - in doing so...we can't help but please ourselves, I find this one of the greatest joys of being married...


----------



## Starstarfish

> What is it about one sex act that is so terrible that his wife would risk her whole marriage to avoid it?


That question could be posed about anything though. If she'd only - do anal, if she'd only - be open to threesomes, if she'd only X, Y, Z or maybe X while doing Z ... then she wouldn't be risking the marriage. 

And likewise, any question she might ask could get the same treatment. If only - he'd stop playing golf all weekend. If only he'd be nicer to my mother. If only he'd stop passing up promotions. The he wouldn't be risking the marriage. 

That's puts all of the onus on the situation on the other person, and attempts to argue that -all- of the problems in a relationship could really only be solved by fixing this one thing. But that's not really how it works - then it will be just something else "that's risking the marriage." When you put any and all problems within that light, I'm thinking it's really unlikely you'd come to any solutions. You need to see problems as mutual issues to address that that -all the problems- are being caused -by this one thing- someone else is or isn't doing. 

And, other women here have given insightful answers, as they have on other threads about how to possibly address that issue. But the way to go about it is, "Hey - I've been thinking, I'd really like to explore more oral sex in our relationship, what would make you get into that?" Not "just give me a blow job already, because I get one from that chick at work and divorce you."

Tactic 1 - This is a mutual problem I'd like to explore and solve together and valuable your input and feelings

Tactic 2 - I don't care what you think, I want what I want, and will get it how I want.


----------



## Caribbean Man

Starstarfish said:


> That question could be posed about anything though. If she'd only - do anal, if she'd only - be open to threesomes, if she'd only X, Y, Z or maybe X while doing Z ... then she wouldn't be risking the marriage.
> 
> And likewise, any question she might ask could get the same treatment. If only - he'd stop playing golf all weekend. If only he'd be nicer to my mother. If only he'd stop passing up promotions. The he wouldn't be risking the marriage.
> 
> That's puts all of the onus on the situation on the other person, and attempts to argue that -all- of the problems in a relationship could really only be solved by fixing this one thing. But that's not really how it works - then it will be just something else "that's risking the marriage." When you put any and all problems within that light, I'm thinking it's really unlikely you'd come to any solutions. You need to see problems as mutual issues to address that that -all the problems- are being caused -by this one thing- someone else is or isn't doing.
> 
> And, other women here have given insightful answers, as they have on other threads about how to possibly address that issue. But the way to go about it is, "Hey - I've been thinking, I'd really like to explore more oral sex in our relationship, what would make you get into that?" Not "just give me a blow job already, because I get one from that chick at work and divorce you."
> 
> Tactic 1 - This is a mutual problem I'd like to explore and solve together and valuable your input and feelings
> 
> Tactic 2 - I don't care what you think, I want what I want, and will get it how I want.


I don't really think any man goes about it that way,or at least not the majority and not in healthy relationships

In any event if there is mutual love, respect and understanding, then a woman would understand that a BJ is supposed to do the for a man what kissing , caressing and general foreplay does to a woman.
It prepares him parties for the actual sex act, just like foreplay [ including oral] prepares her for actual sex.

These things are really not supposed to be " negotiated ." I'm not saying that you are implying that.
We are all adults.
Not saying either that people are not supposed to have sexual boundaries , but sexual fulfilment in a marriage hinges on the willingness of each person to step out of their comfort zone a little sometimes.
A relationship that has that type of sexual dynamic where a partner has to
" negotiate" these basic things is a stressful one to _that_ partner,
Hence the original quote you responded to.


----------



## Accipiter777

TCSRedhead said:


> Hub gets NSA BJs all the time. At home and other places. From me. And can video them for playback over and over again later. It makes getting them elsewhere a lot less appealing.


THIS.

You're doing it right.

My wife makes it VERY easy for me to say no to ANY NSA sexual pleasure. Wasn't always that way. As I stated before, during a nearly sexless bunch of years, I told her I want to be faithful. I don't want to ruin her trust or our marriage. She realized that she plays a part in keeping me from being tempted. She has no need for an EA, I have no need for an SA. We keep each other connected by filling each others need.

Dont grocery shop when your hungry. same principle.


----------



## Suspecting

Caribbean Man said:


> In any event if there is mutual love, respect and understanding, then a woman would understand that a BJ is supposed to do the for a man what kissing , caressing and general foreplay does to a woman.
> 
> It prepares him parties for the actual sex act, just like foreplay [ including oral] prepares her for actual sex.


I disagree that a BJ is an equivalent for kissing and caressing. The equivalent for women is a "tongue job" or "mouth job" or whatever you wanna call it, where you stimulate the clitoris with your tongue and mouth.

The BJ in this thread's context means a full BJ to the end and not a foreplay BJ like you mentioned. Both man and female foreplay can be done with hands though, oral is not indispensable.


----------



## Starstarfish

> It prepares him parties for the actual sex act, just like foreplay [ including oral] prepares her for actual sex.


Isn't within this imaginary NSA BJ scenario though - there isn't going to be any "actual sex"? Thus it won't be preparation for something else, it isn't a foreplay equivalent as foreplay implies that there will be "after play."

So - obviously, to at least some who said they would "go for" - the fact that it isn't connected to a more "complete" sex act apparently isn't a factor. 

What part that plays in the conversation, I'm not 100% sure, but - just thought I'd point that out.


----------



## Northern Monkey

Anything sexual with someone other than my SO is a straight and simple no. I wouldn't accept a handjob or even a kiss, let alone oral.

Cheating is cheating is cheating. My morality means if I had to go outside a relationship for something I'd have to end it. This is easy in my current relationship, she is as adventurous and high drive as me.. zero need to go elsewhere. My marriage previously was much more a test of resolve. I had many unmet needs and never once strayed or even tried to.

I have one fantasy I know won't be met by my SO, but that's fine. I won't be going elsewhere for it. My SO either does enough for me or she doesn't if she didn't it would be goodbye (or frustration like my marriage but I am unwilling to accept that again).

If a bj is so very important, find someone that gives them. But do it openly and honestly.


----------



## Northern Monkey

SimplyAmorous said:


> I could seriously kick myself in the a$$ for the years I didn't do those BJ's.. he didn't try to get me to go there - pretty much because of a mindless comment I made one stupid day...thinking outloud... it was never meant to be personal....and he knew that.. .but yet he took it to heart....we can laugh about it now.. .he just never pushed or teased me to go there... Darn him I say!
> 
> NOW I basically worship at the Throne... Bjs to me is..."making Love" with my mouth, he likes 'em slow & sensual - then it builds... I can't get enough, thought I was going to make him numb at one time.. .. I was thinking ....OMG how awful it would be to get an injury there and this go NUMB...I'd be freaking devastated (not to mention him).....it's the most amazing organ God has ever created when you think about it!
> 
> He's always made me feel safe, alive, beautiful, I have no fears he would see me as being a SL** , he knows it's all for him and him alone.. all men want this and if they are good men treating their women right, they deserve a truckload of them too.. we should want to give such men the world ... because they have been so damn good to us.. the gift of Pleasure and desire-- this is priceless and nothing can bring a man more happiness than to be LOVED like this.. Rocked like this.. ...
> 
> I just wish, would give anything to go back in time & relive our earlier years... I've gotten very upset ...have cried tears just thinking about it... what I feel we've missed...what I withheld from him in my ignorance...it should have never never never been!
> 
> If only more women...the MARRIED woman....were talking about Sex with enthusiasm, with excitement ... to our younger generation....Had I had this to mentor me somehow... the beauty of marital pleasure in every form... all I ever heard about was the bad girls doing this sort of thing.. and I associated it with porn, Prostitutes..... which was very very wrong of me to do. Da** it.
> 
> How we please our husbands - in doing so...we can't help but please ourselves, I find this one of the greatest joys of being married...


Just want to say I love this post. Not because of the abundance of bj's but because of the understanding of what that can mean to a man. 

I don't want a bj because it makes my SO seem a sl#t, I want one because they are amazing to have. I always work hard to make sure I meet all her needs and she knows I will try about anything she wants (she knows my "hell no" limits and me hers), in return she does the same.

Rather than worrying about getting off ourselves, we both focus on getting the other off. Makes it amazing. The bj and return oral is part of that openness and willingness to please the other. I get n direct "pleasure" from going down but I enjoy doing so immensely for the pleasure it brings her.


----------



## Nsweet

This idea of anything NSA just goes against bro-code and better judgement. 

If you needed a good enough reason not to cheat it's that you don't want to get murdered by a spiteful woman. 

I just think of it as... if she cooks your food, sleeps next to you at night, and speaks to any other women, your chances are she's going to find out.... And you better pray when she does that you've got the wife who will only emotionally hurt you, because if if you wake up with your penis lopped off.... Well, you deserved it now didn't ya!


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## SimplyAmorous

Northern Monkey said:


> Just want to say I love this post. Not because of the abundance of bj's but *because of the understanding of what that can mean to a man.*


 I am happy THAT came across to you...felt a little naked writing that out ~almost deleted it....so it's good to know the heart of my post was gleamed by a couple here anyway. I do realize - and strongly....what that means, what that can *DO* for a man... when I didn't do those, show that excitment/ want....ya know what, he didn't feel "as loved" by me... what a shame....just should have never been.  



> Rather than worrying about getting off ourselves, we both focus on getting the other off. Makes it amazing. The bj and return oral is part of that openness and willingness to please the other. I get n direct "pleasure" from going down but I enjoy doing so immensely for the pleasure it brings her.


 I am so happy for you Found a special SO Northern Monkey !! ...Makes me think of Cher's I FOUND SOMEONE - YouTube


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## Suspecting

SA (or any other woman here), if I may ask, I'm curious how you giving BJ affects your husbands, you know, lasting? As I hear many guys can't last long enough even without a BJ.


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## Vanguard

I'm not married but I'm in an exclusive relationship. 

One of my friends from school continually tells me that she would gladly blow me and never say a word. I believe she is telling the truth.

And she's never going to get her wish. When you cheat, you damage the people you love and yourself, in a way you can't really perceive.


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