# men... what do i do?



## Donny (Jun 27, 2013)

Its been a month since my wife left me. i love her dearly and want nothing more than to have her back as my wife. we have been married for 6 years this past April and have a wonderful 2 yrs old girl. i have tried everything i know how to change her mind. i don't understand what went wrong. we always had such a loving and caring relationship. very supportive of each other and very close. i have always been very emotionally supportive to her, telling her she is beautiful, that i love her and need her. that she is a wonderful mother and a great person. i dont know what i did wrong. she says she doesnt love me the same way any more.everyone around us is flabbergasted. everyone always told us they looked up to us as a couple. she says its because i lost sight of my obligations as a father, husband and a man. i dont understand how that could be. i know i havent worked in a year. its not that i didnt want too. i went back to school to work on getting my associates degree. we talked about it before a decision was made. i havent been hounding her to come back. i have been giving her space, sending her the occasional "i hope you are having a good day" text. i just dont want to push her further away. at the same time i dont want her to think that i dont care by not putting in the effort. im lost, i truly feel torn apart by this. it seems like a few months ago she was so happy to be a family. always say to family and friends how wonderful i husband and father i was. i dont know what changed or how to change it back. i suggested marriage counseling but she refuses. says it will just stretch out her unhappiness. i just want my family back and i am at a loss on what to do. any advice?


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

So this came out of the blue - no indications earlier that she was unhappy? Has your being out of work put financial strains on the family? Was caring for the 2 year old putting stress on her or you or both? 
She has never before expressed any doubts about the marriage? Has she been spending lots of time away from home with others? Have you?
Something is missing here.


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## Donny (Jun 27, 2013)

there were indication but every time i tried to talk to her about it she said it had nothing to do with our marriage and she was just depressed. also we have had some hard time financially but we have always pulled out of it. every time i spoke with her about me not having a job and letting her know that i didnt like not being able to provide like i wanted to she insisted that i focus on school because in the long run it was for the best. i know that she has suffered with postpartum and went to counseling for it but thats all she would say about it is that we were fine. when she got her new job a few months ago she acted like she would rather be at work than at home. but as far as being gone all the time she and i both had our time away with friends, but no more than normal. it did come out of the blue because every time i though i seen an indicator and we would talk about it she would always tell me that things were good and that she loved me and wanted to be with me.


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## NatureDave (Feb 19, 2013)

Could there be somebody else, possibly at her new job?

This is the most common cause of a sudden pulling away like you are describing.

Two questions...is she always texting and on the phone, is it always nearby? Does she guard her phone and would you be welcome to scroll through it?


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

start preparing to live your life with out her.


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

Not that much information to go on. The refusal to communicate is someone not wanting to fix things. Likewise with the refusal for counseling. Possibly an affair, but it sounds like she was already checked out of the marriage when she was telling you "Don't worry...(because I am leaving you)."


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Donny, 

She's checked out. You're not going to nice her back. The more you do the more she sees you as clingy and pathetic. Do yourself a favor, only communicate with her about your child and finances. 

You had no clue? Did your sex life just drop off? Was she going out without you? Any new friends? Did she stay late at work? 

There's more to this story that your not telling us or you're in the dark about it. Find out. Check your phone bill for extra calls and text to numbers you don't know.

Where is she now? Where is your child? 

Good luck


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

Definitely sounds like a cheater. Get ready to move on, because it's going to happen for you whether you like it or not.

If you want to feel better about it, you can do some snoopery.

Either way, start making yourself a priority. Make sure you are spending some time bettering yourself, doing manly activities that you enjoy.


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