# Should I tell my son I am not his biological father?



## MAJDEATH

My son just turned 21. I have been debating the idea of telling him that I am his father in every sense of the word, except biologically, since he was 18. My reason for this is 2-fold. After dealing with the W admission last year about some relationships with OM from 10+ yrs ago, I believe in complete honesty when it comes to relationships with an impact to a family. And there may be medical issues that can be attributed to heredity.

He is an only child, and we knew 6 months after his birth that I was excluded as a father via early DNA testing back in the 90s. The W freely admitted to involvement with 2 OM during a period in which we had broken-up. We later agreed to get married fully knowing that the child was from someone else. She has said many times that if the child were mine, she would not have agreed to marry me, because she would have felt that I was only marrying her because of the child, and not because I truly loved her.

We were married 14 months after his birth, and he knows this (there are pictures). We attended pre-marriage counseling with our church pastor, and we were open and honest with him. He advised that we notify the other 2 men who could be the father. W only had contact info for one, and he denied paternity and declined DNA testing because he was engaged at the time. The other potential father moved away with no contact info.

W is opposed to telling our son the truth, because she feels it will only bring up negative feelings and would serve no purpose. She believes it would also confuse him as I am the only father he has ever known. It would also make his mother look bad for her behavior at the time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tropicalbeachiwish

I think he has a right to know.


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## EleGirl

I think he has the right to know. You don't have to tell him a lot of details except that his mother got pregnant before the two of you decided to get married. And tell him who his birth father is if you know that.

My son is adopted. We brought him home when he was 10 days old. He's always known that he was adopted. I had kiddy books with stories that explain adoption. Everything read on adoption said to let them know early in life so that there are no big surprises to disrupt their lives later.

With your son being age 21, that's a pretty volatile time in a young man's life to find out that he has had the truth withheld from him his entire life. But better now than later.

My bet is that once he put this in perspective, he will have a lot of respect for you as his father.


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## dubsey

he'll be pissed off if he finds out on his own


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## 225985

Of course tell him. Genetics and family history become critical as he gets older. His health and healthcare treatment can be at risk if not told.


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## jb02157

This is certainly a toughy. While I do think he has a right to know, I think telling him now will more than likely bring a very negative reaction from him so be prepared for that. I wouldn't count on him being able to put this in perspective, some people get over stuff like this and some don't.


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## tropicalbeachiwish

jb02157 said:


> This is certainly a toughy. While I do think he has a right to know, I think telling him now will more than likely bring a very negative reaction from him so be prepared for that. I wouldn't count on him being able to put this in perspective, some people get over stuff like this and some don't.


My husbands father (my FIL) told his sons that he was adopted. He had known for many, many years but kept it secret from all of them. The mother (MIL) was in on it though. 

My FIL is the adopted one (for clarity). Not the same situation, I know. 

My H was upset with his father for keeping the secret for so long; he felt that he had been lied to. He was lied to because his father implied for many years that his grandparents were his biological grandparents (health issues arose). My H was angry and it created a little bit of a trust issue between them. Not to scare you away from telling him because I think he should be told, but you need to be prepared for his reaction.


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## jld

MAJDEATH said:


> I believe in complete honesty when it comes to relationships with an impact to a family.


Totally agree.



> W is opposed to telling our son the truth, because she feels it will only bring up negative feelings and would serve no purpose. She believes it would also confuse him as I am the only father he has ever known. *It would also make his mother look bad for her behavior at the time.*


Does she understand how important it is that he know his correct lineage for medical purposes?

As far as the bolded, her pride should not have any influence on this decision.


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## bandit.45

Do it now while he is young so his brain has time to grow around the idea. 

Your wife is a piece of work. 

We all think you should get rid of her.


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## BetrayedDad

bandit.45 said:


> _*We all think you should get rid of her.*_


QFT, Bolded and Underlined for emphasis....


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## citygirl4344

Yes.
If for nothing else so he can have the medical history.
I'm adopted and have always known...but at 20 my biological mother found me.
It definitely was not an easy time for me.
But in the end I now know my medical history etc which is even more important now that I have kids.



Sent from my iPhone


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## Openminded

He has the right to know. Be prepared for shock (expressed as anger) that you've withheld this from him for so long (in other words, lied to him his entire life). Your wife's concern about how this will make her look is unfortunate but isn't the determining factor. Sit down together and tell him. 

PS
He should have been told the truth from the beginning but obviously it's too late now. So correct that wrong as soon as possible.


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## MAJDEATH

bandit.45 said:


> Do it now while he is young so his brain has time to grow around the idea.
> 
> Your wife is a piece of work.
> 
> *We all think you should get rid of her.*


Honestly, some days I think about it. But could I really find a great woman, about my age, with no negative baggage or problems? Maybe/maybe not.


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## Blondilocks

He is 21 - he can handle it. He needs to know for medical reasons. You and his mother weren't together at the time of his conception so why any negative feelings. The fact that she can't pin down the father might make her look loose but it is what it is. He has a right to know his lineage and his mother has no right to keep it from him. Tell him.


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## MJJEAN

I also think he has a right to know.


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## MAJDEATH

Openminded said:


> He has the right to know. Be prepared for shock (expressed as anger) that you've withheld this from him for so long (in other words, lied to him his entire life). Your wife's concern about how this will make her look is unfortunate but isn't the determining factor. Sit down together and tell him.
> 
> PS
> He should have been told the truth from the beginning but obviously it's too late now. So correct that wrong as soon as possible.


I think so too. I would love to confirm who the bio Dad is, but I cannot find any contact info, and that's frustrating for a guy with my skills who can find most anyone I am looking for.


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## tech-novelist

MAJDEATH said:


> Honestly, some days I think about it. But could I really find a great woman, about my age, with no negative baggage or problems? Maybe/maybe not.


If "great" means "doesn't cheat on you and get pregnant by another man", I don't think you would have much trouble finding a great woman.

So the answer is "yes".


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## tech-novelist

Oh, and yes, you should tell him.


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## Anon Pink

Yes, of course you should tell your son, and it should be you telling him so that he has an absolute faith that you chose to be his father and have never regretted that decision! Frankly, you should have already told him, like 12 years ago! Be prepared for questions about who his biological dad might be. He deserves to know that information too. One day it might be medically imperative.

The fact that you weren't married to his mother at the time of conception, or for his first 14 months doesn't automatically indicate his mother cheated and conceived. I'm not sure how it can even be considered cheating when you're not married and are not otherwise together at the time of conception.


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## Personal

...


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## dubsey

MAJDEATH said:


> I think so too. I would love to confirm who the bio Dad is, but I cannot find any contact info, and that's frustrating for a guy with my skills who can find most anyone I am looking for.


assuming your wife knows the names, when you tell your son, he'll find them.


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## GusPolinski

This is easy.

He has an absolute right to know the truth of his parentage, and that trumps any other concern or misgiving that either you or your wife may have.

Period.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Lostinthought61

Is your wife ready to answers the questions he will have when this comes out, is she ready for the shaming that might occur when this comes out?


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## MAJDEATH

As far as answering the questions he may have, I have full, complete, and verifiable contact information on potential father #1. He is local to us now and would be very easy to get ahold of. He is also a very prominent businessman, with a wife and 3 daughters. W said she contacted him after she was pregnant and he was in denial, and engaged.

Potential father #2 is more of a mystery. All info comes from the W, and I cannot confirm any of it, except the place where she worked at the time (restaurant/bar at a hotel, I went there once while she was working). She indicates the man was a frequent customer there, but was on a temp job assignment from the east coast and left to go back soon after.

She provided a copy of a hotel receipt that she says she convinced the desk clerk to give her, but I come up empty when I search for the name, address, phone. She believes this man is the bio dad, based on a broken condom incident. But her story has many cracks in it, and being a former LE investigator, I suspect a different reality.

She has said in the past that the owner of this hotel bar/restaurant encouraged the employees (mostly female) to drink while on duty. The one time I was there she did have a couple of shots right in front of me, which was unusual. We were also partially broken up, and I had a new GF. This stress may have contributed to her heavy drinking, combined with an encouraging male owner with an open bar and her willingness, might have given him access to her reproductive parts. The hotel/bar is no longer there.

I also have to point out the holes in her story about the guy. She said he worked in heavy construction (bridges), but why would a union pay to bring in a crew from several states away when their are local crews available? She also says that he left soon after, but was supposed to return the following week to his crew. But then a coworker informed her that he was reassigned and wouldn't be returning.

So either potential father #1 is the bio Dad, or the bar owner. She really wanted it to be me (as we were still having sex infrequently) but the DNA test excluded me. She still, to this day says the test was wrong. Maybe we should do it again.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GusPolinski

With every thread that you create, I find myself more and more astounded at the notion that you not only married, _but are actually still married to_ this woman.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Lostinthought61

Gus is on to something, your his role model......he will look into your eyes and ask you why you stayed with her, because perhaps one day he will face the same dilemma (i hope not but if he does) are you going to tell him to stay with her?


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## MAJDEATH

dubsey said:


> assuming your wife knows the names, when you tell your son, he'll find them.


One he can easily find, the other I doubt.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## snerg

question (forgive me if I missed this) -is your son currently in college?

Reason I ask, you may want to wait till the quarter or semester is over. Giving him this information could mess with him and make it too difficult to study.

I would also highly recommend contacting a counselor or therapist that has dealt with this situation before. A good counselor might have some insight on how to actually break the news so as to not be destructive

You will get the Why's:

Why did you lie to me
Why did you hide this from me
Why did you wait till now to let me know

Be prepared for a pissed off young man whose world view has just be changed.

From my perspective, I would want to know. 
I would want to why you were my father
Why did you chose to be my father
Why my bio father didn't want me
If bio father didn't know about me, why did you hide it from him
I would want to know for medical reasons


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## MAJDEATH

GusPolinski said:


> This is easy.
> 
> He has an absolute right to know the truth of his parentage, and that trumps any other concern or misgiving that either you or your wife may have.
> 
> Period.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I agree, and this may cause a huge wrinkle in my relationship with my W.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jld

Xenote said:


> Gus is on to something, your his role model......he will look into your eyes and ask you why you stayed with her, because perhaps one day he will face the same dilemma (i hope not but if he does) are you going to tell him to stay with her?


I think he will thank MD for staying with her. MD has probably been a stabilizing force in his life.

MD, if I were you, I would inform your wife that from now on your household will be functioning on a basis of honesty and openness. No one's pride is going to be protected, at least not within the family.


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## MAJDEATH

snerg said:


> question (forgive me if I missed this) -is your son currently in college?
> 
> Reason I ask, you may want to wait till the quarter or semester is over. Giving him this information could mess with him and make it too difficult to study.
> 
> I would also highly recommend contacting a counselor or therapist that has dealt with this situation before. A good counselor might have some insight on how to actually break the news so as to not be destructive
> 
> You will get the Why's:
> 
> Why did you lie to me
> Why did you hide this from me
> Why did you wait till now to let me know
> 
> Be prepared for a pissed off young man whose world view has just be changed.
> 
> From my perspective, I would want to know.
> I would want to why you were my father
> Why did you chose to be my father
> Why my bio father didn't want me
> If bio father didn't know about me, why did you hide it from him
> I would want to know for medical reasons


He is in college, and sees a counselor from time to time for an unrelated condition.

I would expect these questions.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Lostinthought61

jld said:


> I think he will thank MD for staying with her. MD has probably been a stabilizing force in his life.
> 
> MD, if I were you, I would inform your wife that from now on your household will be functioning on a basis of honesty and openness. No one's pride is going to be protected, at least not within the family.


And that may be the right answer but for his son i suspect he will have a huge trust issue with the women he ends up in life with...this is probably why i would highly recommend that family couseling be involved when you release this information to him


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## jld

Xenote said:


> And that may be the right answer but for his son i suspect he will have a huge trust issue with the women he ends up in life with...this is probably why i would highly recommend that family couseling be involved when you release this information to him


MD was complicit in withholding information from him. I would not be surprised if this young man develops trust issues with both sexes, and fear of becoming a parent himself. 

Jmo, MD.


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## GusPolinski

MAJDEATH said:


> I agree, and this may cause a huge wrinkle in my relationship with my W.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Hopefully so.

ETA: If your relationship w/ your oh-so-very-wayward wife buckles under the weight of such fundamental honesty, then you'd be better off w/o it (the relationship, not the honesty).

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 225985

MAJDEATH said:


> Honestly, some days I think about it. But could I really find a great woman, about my age,* with no negative baggage or problems?* Maybe/maybe not.


Well, you have plenty of your own baggage and problems to.

Better the devil you know than the devil you don't, right?


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## Hope1964

1) I think it is horrible that he was not told the truth from the very beginning. Based on what I've seen, I blame your wife mostly for this.
2) Why you haven't thrown that woman to the curb LONG LONG ago is beyond me. And why your chances of ending up with someone 'better' are even a consideration is TOTALLY beyond me. I've said it a million times: You CANNOT be happy with ANYONE until you know how to be happy WITHOUT anyone. And you apparently don't.
3) Your son - yes, YOUR son- has a right to know this about himself. The WHOLE truth, not some varnished version of it. Like I said, he should have known from the very beginning. What being told is going to do to him only you can guess, but it's bound to be really really hard for him in the short term. In the long term, though, it's hugely important.


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## Blondilocks

Your wife's memory may improve if your son presses her on the identity of the 2nd man. She may be withholding the information from you because of ________(make up a reason).

A case can be made for waiting until the child is an adult before divulging parentage. Parents can be concerned about how the child will be treated by classmates as children can be cruel.


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## TAMAT

Maj,

As an OC myself I encourage you to please tell your son NOW.

I didn't find out who my Mother was until years after she was dead, I got to visit her grave but that's it. There's a certain need for all of us to understand who we are, it may be ugly and complicated but it is better than being lied to for years and years.

Your Son has relatives who may be dying now.

I know my adoptive Mother wanted to tell me the truth every day of her life it was such a relief when I told her I know all about my Biological parents. My Adoptive Mother was in her 80's at the time, but I could feel her happiness about no longer being burdened with a secret.

Not only are you lying to your Son but your WW is too, how do you look at him everyday.

As others have said I don't know how you could keep this in, seeing a living reminder of your WW cheating on you, even if the cheating occurred before you were married.

Tamat


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## MAJDEATH

Had a discussion with the W about this last night at dinner. As before, she is adamantly opposed to telling him the truth about paternity. She believes that would "take me away from him" in his eyes, and start questioning which parts of him are from his mother, and from bio Dad. He would also keep trying to find the bio Dad, which would be problematic, in her opinion. She doesn't care if he looks down on her for her life choices during that period of her life, but she wants to protect him from the pain of questioning his connection to us.

I pointed out that he might be upset, but could come to look at his parents in a new light and understand our relationship better (meaning I rescued her from a potentially troublesome life at a lower social-economic status, being a single-mom and probably ending up with a loser husband).

My only concern is I wouldn't be able to answer his questions about the bio Dad. All info comes from the W and according to her, she has very chant information about this man (not enough to perform any type of worthwhile search). She totally excludes the other guy (which I do have a lot of info on) because of his blood type and eye color. I know eye-color is not a a good gauge for paternity but not sure about blood type. Apparently when she called him after pregnancy, he told her his blood type and she determined later that he couldn't be the father.


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## Satya

I'm with others. Your wife is saying that she worries how he will feel about the truth in relation to his view of you and your marriage. 

No one has any idea how he will take it until he hears the truth. I also believe he deserves to know. If he ever needs genetic testing done for health reasons, or fertility reasons, etc, the truth is going to come out. It's just a matter of when. Would you rather he hear it from someone who loves him or from a stranger that doesn't give a damn who he is?


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## Lostinthought61

given that this will leave him with more questions than answers i'm not sure i would proceed with this.


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## Openminded

IMO your wife's primary concern is what he'll think of her -- not what he'll think of you. 

He deserves to know the truth.


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## Blondilocks

Please do not continue with this charade. That boy has a right to know. Your wife is being selfish. How would you feel if you found out that your entire life was based on a lie? That your parents didn't love you enough to tell you the truth? Because this will come across as you and your wife protecting yourselves at his expense should he find out another way. Don't let his 22nd birthday roll around without telling him.


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## MJJEAN

To be blunt, it sounds like your wife is concerned with keeping her affair secret and protecting the OM/bio-father from having his bio-son come knocking on his door. In other words, she is prioritizing continuing to keep her dirty little secret over her sons right to know the truth of his paternity.

She's been lying and concealing all these years. She wants to maintain the status quo. Especially since, once her son knows and asks questions, she'll have to come across with the actual truth about both OM. You may have been willing to accept her bullsh!t, but your son will press the issue and she knows it.


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## GusPolinski

MAJDEATH said:


> Had a discussion with the W about this last night at dinner. As before, she is adamantly opposed to telling him the truth about paternity. She believes that would "take me away from him" in his eyes, and start questioning which parts of him are from his mother, and from bio Dad. He would also keep trying to find the bio Dad, which would be problematic, in her opinion. She doesn't care if he looks down on her for her life choices during that period of her life, but she wants to protect him from the pain of questioning his connection to us.
> 
> I pointed out that he might be upset, but could come to look at his parents in a new light and understand our relationship better (meaning I rescued her from a potentially troublesome life at a lower social-economic status, being a single-mom and probably ending up with a loser husband).
> 
> My only concern is I wouldn't be able to answer his questions about the bio Dad. All info comes from the W and according to her, she has very chant information about this man (not enough to perform any type of worthwhile search). She totally excludes the other guy (which I do have a lot of info on) because of his blood type and eye color. I know eye-color is not a a good gauge for paternity but not sure about blood type. Apparently when she called him after pregnancy, he told her his blood type and she determined later that he couldn't be the father.


What are your eye colors (yours, hers, your son's)?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TAMAT

Maj,

You can at least provide him with 1/2 of the full truth, that you are not his bio-dad. You are not obligated to lie just because your WW does. 

Tamat


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## TAMAT

Maj,

That your WW continues to lie about this is also an issue, did you think about getting a polygraph for her.

Tamat


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## MAJDEATH

GusPolinski said:


> What are your eye colors (yours, hers, your son's)?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


W and I both have brown eyes. Son has blue eyes.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GuyInColorado

My ex wife and I both have brown eyes. Our daughter has blue eyes. I was told she got this from my dad, who had blue eyes.


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## CantePe

1 in 5 children will be born with brown eyes. I have 5 children. Husband has brown eyes, I have blue. Youngest is only one with full brown eyes like daddy.

Youngest daughter has macrophaging of the right eye which is predominantly blue with a full stripe of brown (it's called partial monochromatic Iris, an indication of parasitic twin syndrome, also a possible indication of chimerism).

Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk


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## CantePe

CantePe said:


> 1 in 5 children will be born with brown eyes. I have 5 children. Husband has brown eyes, I have blue. Youngest is only one with full brown eyes like daddy.
> 
> Youngest daughter has macrophaging of the right eye which is predominantly blue with a full stripe of brown (it's called partial monochromatic Iris, an indication of parasitic twin syndrome, also a possible indication of chimerism).
> 
> Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk


Now I'm going to quote myself to make a point...

Genetic/medical heritage is absolutely essential. He deserves that truth, to know his genetic and medical heritage.

Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk


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## Spotthedeaddog

Tell him you have something important that you need to discuss.
When you start the discussion, tell him you know that it's something that he is likely to get upset about (he'll probably assume you're gay, or splitting up, etc) but that he needs to know for the very valid medical reasons Blueinbr mentioned. This will give him a chance to ready himself, and to be ready for his emotion that he is going to be upset and his world upside down for a while - but at the same time that you're putting his needs above your own guilt/concerns.

Then it won't sound so corny when you say you care and that you would have kept it from your son forever but also felt he should know the truth.

It also means you're telling him for his sake - not for your own. which should be the case <hint>


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## MAJDEATH

https://dna-paternity-testing.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/eye-color-paternity-chart.jpg


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## vel

I would find out who the father is first, if you can. Surely she knows their names? With google these days, moving away doesn't mean disappearing. Then you can present a complete story to your son.

Either way though, whether or not you find the father, he does need to know. This concerns him completely.


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## Begin again

MAJDEATH said:


> Honestly, some days I think about it. But could I really find a great woman, about my age, with no negative baggage or problems? Maybe/maybe not.


Lol! You have a 21 year old son that isn't yours that you opted not to tell that he's not yours biologically. I'd say that's some negative baggage/a problem. And who gets divorced without taking some negative baggage with you? You expect more than you are offering.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Begin again

MAJDEATH said:


> https://dna-paternity-testing.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/eye-color-paternity-chart.jpg


That chart doesn't make sense. If both parents have blue eyes (and approx 30% of the population does), there's a 99% chance the child has green eyes according to that chart. But green eyes are very rare, like 2% of the population. Maybe I need some help with my math here, but I can't see how that's right.

Not so sure I'd use that lab for my testing! 

Here's one that has the exact opposite for two blue eyes parents:











_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## joannacroc

Regarding eye color, we now know there is more than one gene to control for eye color, so I don't think it is considered as simple as that chart anymore? Or that was how I read these. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/02/070222180729.htm How Blue Eyed Parents Can Have Brown Eyed Children | Understanding Genetics


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## Blondilocks

Yeah, something is off with Maj's chart. Both of my parents had blue eyes. All three offspring have blue eyes.


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## 225985

Blondilocks said:


> Yeah, something is off with Maj's chart. Both of my parents had blue eyes. All three offspring have blue eyes.




Or something is off with the "parents". 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## MAJDEATH

vel said:


> I would find out who the father is first, if you can. Surely she knows their names? With google these days, moving away doesn't mean disappearing. Then you can present a complete story to your son.
> 
> Either way though, whether or not you find the father, he does need to know. This concerns him completely.


I don't have much to work with: a nickname, a possible birth state, a possible work industry, and an approximate age. I know this doesn't speak well for my W but these are the facts as told to me.


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## MJJEAN

MAJDEATH said:


> I don't have much to work with: a nickname, a possible birth state, a possible work industry, and an approximate age. I know this doesn't speak well for my W but these are the facts as told to me.


Frankly, judging by what you've posted here, I highly suspect she is lying about what she knows/remembers and possibly even about the identity of the OM (s). I also suspect that part of the reason she wants to keep her secret is that your son will force her to tell the whole truth.

If she won't tell your son that which he has a right to know, perhaps you'll find it in yourself to give him the gift of truth. Let your wife rage if she wants to, but considering you took her cheating azz back AND raised her OMs baby with her, she can just suck it up.


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## TX-SC

If it were my son, I'd tell him. He deserves to know the truth.


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## MAJDEATH

Well turns out it may all be for naught. Spoke to my older brother yesterday, and he believes that our mother told my son about his true parentage before she died several years ago, including showing him a copy of the DNA test I gave to her for safekeeping.


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## Openminded

If that's really the case then he shouldn't be surprised when you and your wife tell him. 

Because you know that you do still need to tell him.


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## Satya

I know this is just conjecture, but perhaps the mother knew this would be a point of contention with you and your wife, and decided to take matters into her own hands? 

Regardless, think about what NOT telling him is going to make him think with this new info revealed.


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## Palodyne

Here's all I can offer. In 1984 my friend was told by his parents he was adopted. He was 18, in his last year of high school. He talked to us about it. He was confused. We were little help, just kids ourselves, looking back, we didn't really understand.

He went to meet his birth parents. He told us about them. But in the end, he told us he felt more for his adopted mom and dad that raised him. And that he understood the reason for the adoption. He didn't want to discuss the subject after that and we viewed his mom and dad the same as we always did.

So, I don't know if it is better to tell from the beginning, or to wait. My friend seemed to struggle for a time with it before he found peace. So if it were up to me, I would inform the child from the beginning. But that ship has sailed for you. Tell the child now. Explain how you feel about him. You know he loves you as a father. If he becomes angry, he will forgive.


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## citygirl4344

Well if he already knows he probably has a lot of questions.
You need to talk to him.



Sent from my iPhone


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## emmasmith

I think he has right to know!!


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## Lostme

Who cares about your wife's feelings, this young man deserves the right to know, what if in the future he needed some type of transplant that and you or your wife is not a match to save his life.

I think it is pretty selfish of your wife, to not want her son to know, does not sound like she has changed at all still just caring about herself.


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## 225985

Enough talk. Tell your son.


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## arbitrator

*I recommend and favor telling him "the truth!"

Regardless of your W's feelings, your son's right to the truth absolutely outweighs any of her self-serving wishes to keep his true fatherhood cloistered!

This is all about him ~ and not her!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TAMAT

Maj,

This is just one more monstrous lie on top of the pile of lies your WW has built up during her life.

It might be too late for you to reclaim the years you lost with your WW lying to your face everyday, even more difficult for me, but it's not too late for your son.

It's clear your WW is not going to step up and be an adult sorry it has to fall on you.

Tamat


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## turnera

so what happened?


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## MAJDEATH

I'm waiting for the right moment to confirm what grandma may have already told him. Perhaps at the next school break.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 225985

MAJDEATH said:


> I'm waiting for the right moment to confirm what grandma may have already told him. Perhaps at the next school break.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


The right moment is now.


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## Hope1964

MAJDEATH said:


> I'm waiting for the right moment


In other words, you're procrastinating because you don't want to have the discussion.

What will this 'right moment' look like??


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## MAJDEATH

He has been told, and he is OK with it.


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## MSalmoides

MAJDEATH said:


> He has been told, and he is OK with it.


I am glad that you did. I didn't find out until I was almost 30 and married. At least he had a loving father in his life. Good on you @MAJDEATH.

~MS


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## FeministInPink

MAJDEATH said:


> He has been told, and he is OK with it.


I know you said your wife wasn't ok with telling him. Did the two of you have a meeting of the minds on this? How are the two of you doing?

I'm not surprised that your son is ok with it. It shows him that you CHOSE to be his father, which says a lot about your character. There's a lot to respect in a man who chose to raise and love another man's child as his own.

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk


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## EleGirl

MAJDEATH said:


> He has been told, and he is OK with it.


Did you tell him?


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## MAJDEATH

EleGirl said:


> MAJDEATH said:
> 
> 
> 
> He has been told, and he is OK with it.
> 
> 
> 
> Did you tell him?
Click to expand...

He and I went out for dinner, and we discussed his biology, along with many other things he had questions about.


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## Blondilocks

Thought you said his mother told him and then you talked with him. Maybe, I'm recalling it differently.


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## SunCMars

Self censored...


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## Blondilocks

SunCMars said:


> Self censored...


You '_reeled_' me in so I checked my facts. My memory serves me correctly.


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## SunCMars

Blondilocks said:


> You '_reeled_' me in so I checked my facts. My memory serves me correctly.


Yes, *you are the Big Fish that got away!
*
You broke my damn line. The reel was-a-smokin!
.................................................................................
Original Post was too serious for any humor...Hence, blackout rule was imposed.


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## MAJDEATH

Blondilocks said:


> Thought you said his mother told him and then you talked with him. Maybe, I'm recalling it differently.


I wanted to make sure he got the facts, from a man's perspective.


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