# Wife wants to separate but see other men?



## Broncos1123 (Mar 3, 2021)

So long story short, my wife told me that she wants to separate and possibly get a divorce. She said that she still loves me, cares about me, and is attracted to me physically, but that we have been fighting and arguing a lot, and over time, the emotional and romantic intimacy has gone away. She doesn’t know if it can ever come back, but sees “potential” that it could, which is why she wants the separation for now, and not a divorce right away. However, she told me that during the separation she will be talking to other men, and possibly being physically intimate and having sex with them. 
I still love her and do not want a divorce. We have been together over 12 years, married for almost 9, and have two young boys together. But am I crazy for not being okay with her being with other men during this time? How in the world could we ever have the potential to get back together if she is focusing on relationships with other people and not me? I don’t know that I can continue to live with her while all of that is going on, and even though I don’t want it, I feel like just starting the divorce process now is the way to go?
Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

She's found a new "boyfriend", but she is keeping you as second choice in case it does't work out. Sorry.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Just say no to ho.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

You are now plan B. 
Plan B never becomes plan A.


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

It sounds to me like she already has someone in mind that she wants to be with but she wants all the advantages of still being married. That is simply NOT okay for her to do to you. If she wants to go sleep with another man she needs to get a divorce. Did you ask how she felt about you sleeping with other women during this separation? Save your sanity now and see a lawyer to have divorce papers drawn up. 

I'm so sorry. _hugs_


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## Broncos1123 (Mar 3, 2021)

notmyjamie said:


> It sounds to me like she already has someone in mind that she wants to be with but she wants all the advantages of still being married. That is simply NOT okay for her to do to you. If she wants to go sleep with another man she needs to get a divorce. Did you ask how she felt about you sleeping with other women during this separation? Save your sanity now and see a lawyer to have divorce papers drawn up.
> 
> I'm so sorry. _hugs_


I actually did ask her that. I asked her how she would feel if the roles were reversed and I wanted to be with other women, and she told me that it would be selfish of her to deny me that, and so I could if I wanted to. Which I don’t.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

I'm going to go a step further and guess she already has been seeing another man and has likely had sex with him. They now want to take it to the next level hence the separation. You can't work on rebuilding your marriage while seeing other people, there is just not possible way that can work, it's completely illogical. See an attorney ASAP.


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## Broncos1123 (Mar 3, 2021)

happyhusband0005 said:


> I'm going to go a step further and guess she already has been seeing another man and has likely had sex with him. They now want to take it to the next level hence the separation. You can't work on rebuilding your marriage while seeing other people, there is just not possible way that can work, it's completely illogical. See an attorney ASAP.


I can totally see how you would assume that, and maybe it’s true. But we’ve talked about it and she’s admitted that she’s been flirting and sexting with guys that she knows, including a coworker, but that nothing physical had happened yet, and based on our 12+ years of knowing her and the trust that we have, I believe her. She’s already admitted to the other stuff, which all happened after she asked for a separation, so I feel like if she did have sex with someone, she would not be able to lie about it and would have told me that too.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Sorry, OP, your wife wants your permission to sleep with other people while also keeping all the perks of your marriage intact. Chances are pretty good that she doesn't want to see other men, but rather that she wants to be able to freely see the Other Man she's already seeing. 

If you're not down with that, then you need to take control of the situation. I think a proper response might be "[Wife], I don't share. I'm not okay with an open relationship and I'm not okay with you playing house with me while seeing other people. So, since you've decided you want to see other people, I can't remain married to you. I'll be consulting an attorney tomorrow and you should expect divorce papers very shortly." Then, get up the next morning, visit your attorney, and file for divorce. 

Don't negotiate with terrorists. Or with cheaters. Same thing.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Broncos1123 said:


> I can totally see how you would assume that, and maybe it’s true. But we’ve talked about it and she’s admitted that she’s been flirting and sexting with guys that she knows, including a coworker, but that nothing physical had happened yet, and based on our 12+ years of knowing her and the trust that we have, I believe her. She’s already admitted to the other stuff, which all happened after she asked for a separation, so I feel like if she did have sex with someone, she would not be able to lie about it and would have told me that too.


So, you still want to be with someone who's been sexting other guys and now wants to sleep with them? I'm speechless!


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## Broncos1123 (Mar 3, 2021)

Rowan said:


> Sorry, OP, your wife wants your permission to sleep with other people while also keeping all the perks of your marriage intact. Chances are pretty good that she doesn't want to see other men, but rather that she wants to be able to freely see the Other Man she's already seeing.
> 
> If you're not down with that, then you need to take control of the situation. I think a proper response might be "[Wife], I don't share. I'm not okay with an open relationship and I'm not okay with you playing house with me while seeing other people. So, since you've decided you want to see other people, I can't remain married to you. I'll be consulting an attorney tomorrow and you should expect divorce papers very shortly." Then, get up the next morning, visit your attorney, and file for divorce.
> 
> Don't negotiate with terrorists. Or with cheaters. Same thing.


Thanks, I definitely feel like this is where I’m at. I did make it clear to her that I’m not okay with her being with other people, and that I don’t see how we could potentially make our marriage work when she’s doing that, but she said that she’s still going to be and can’t say that she won’t have sex with someone at some point.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

Broncos1123 said:


> I can totally see how you would assume that, and maybe it’s true. But we’ve talked about it and she’s admitted that she’s been flirting and sexting with guys that she knows, including a coworker, but that nothing physical had happened yet, and based on our 12+ years of knowing her and the trust that we have, I believe her. She’s already admitted to the other stuff, which all happened after she asked for a separation, so I feel like if she did have sex with someone, she would not be able to lie about it and would have told me that too.


Read on here the hundreds of stories of people who thought the same about their spouses only to find out they assumed very wrong. I'm not saying I know but I am saying you should operate on the assumption she has, or has made plans to start sleeping with a specific guy or guys. Which if she already has him picked out and they plan to sleep together is it really any different at this point. She is already having EAs, did you think that was a possibility a year ago? If you had come here saying she is on her phone all the time and hiding it and people told you she is cheating and having an EA would you have said I've known her for 12 years I believe her when she says she isn't. You know now you would have been wrong there. 

Meet with an attorney tell her if she is going to start having relationships with other men you cannot work on fixing the marriage so if she doesn't want to stop all that and work on the marriage you should divorce, no sense in wasting your time.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Broncos1123 said:


> I can totally see how you would assume that, and maybe it’s true. But we’ve talked about it and she’s admitted that she’s been flirting and sexting with guys that she knows, including a coworker, but that nothing physical had happened yet, and based on our 12+ years of knowing her and the trust that we have, I believe her. She’s already admitted to the other stuff, which all happened after she asked for a separation, so I feel like if she did have sex with someone, she would not be able to lie about it and would have told me that too.



The first thing you need to understand - really know in your bones and accept as absolute gospel - is that cheaters LIE. All of them. 

The second thing you need to understand is that cheaters will only admit to what they absolutely have to. Because they lie. All of them.

So, if she's been confessing to emotional infidelity, then there's a very good chance that's only part of the story. 

And, frankly, even if that's all that's going on, why would you be okay with that? No sex, but she's flirting and sexting other men. That sound like the sort of blatant disrespect you want to tolerate from your wife? Why don't you think you deserve better?


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Stick a fork in it, it's done. She wants to see other men. She's going to see other men. This isn't a marriage anymore. Exit stage left.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Get your T levels checked?

I'm not really joking. Due to a number of factors, many men in what should be in their prime have T levels lower than 85 year old men.


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## Broncos1123 (Mar 3, 2021)

In Absentia said:


> So, you still want to be with someone who's been sexting other guys and now wants to sleep with them? I'm speechless!


Yeah, I mean, I understand your point. She’s definitely changed. We’ve been together over 12 years and she’s never been like this. So it’s hard for me to separate who she is in these past few weeks to who she has been the last 12+ years.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Broncos1123 said:


> Thanks, I definitely feel like this is where I’m at. I did make it clear to her that I’m not okay with her being with other people, and that I don’t see how we could potentially make our marriage work when she’s doing that, but *she said that she’s still going to be and can’t say that she won’t have sex with someone at some point*.



Okay, then. She's just told you, very clearly and with no room for misunderstanding, that she's all done being faithful to you. You should proceed accordingly.


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## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

Broncos1123 said:


> I actually did ask her that. I asked her how she would feel if the roles were reversed and I wanted to be with other women, and she told me that it would be selfish of her to deny me that, and so I could if I wanted to. Which I don’t.


That tells you what you need to know. She wants to feel better about what she's already doing or about to do. She's gone. She might come back in the future, all messed up and teary-eyed and talking about what a mistake she made. Or she's just gone for good and any attempts you make to change that will not really be changing anything, just putting your final closure that much further, and painfully, away. You need to think about how you're going to deal with that. You need to be in a much better place before that happens.

If nothing's happened yet, this is the only chance to take a stand and have her make a choice. Let's hope she has the guts to tell you if it's already too late for that.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

Broncos1123 said:


> Yeah, I mean, I understand your point. She’s definitely changed. We’ve been together over 12 years and she’s never been like this. So it’s hard for me to separate who she is in these past few weeks to who she has been the last 12+ years.


Read, read and re-read the stories like yours on this board, you are far from being unique in this situation. Strong decisive Hiroshima like action is your only chance to save this marriage. You will not nice her back.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Broncos1123 said:


> Thanks, I definitely feel like this is where I’m at. I did make it clear to her that I’m not okay with her being with other people, and that I don’t see how we could potentially make our marriage work when she’s doing that, but she said that she’s still going to be and can’t say that she won’t have sex with someone at some point.


You should go see a lawyer ASAP and get your financials/custody/etc. figured out. I would go straight to divorce -- forget the separation. Do not let her have her cake and eat it to -- let her see that YOU mean business and that her having sex with others is a complete marriage break for you. Stick to your guns on this -- do NOT let her convince you otherwise. Also, you may want to discuss this with the families so that THEY know what she wants to do to your marriage. Don't let her hide this.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Broncos1123 said:


> Yeah, I mean, I understand your point. She’s definitely changed. We’ve been together over 12 years and she’s never been like this. So it’s hard for me to separate who she is in these past few weeks to who she has been the last 12+ years.


Does it matter at this point if it is 12 days or 12 years? Your wife has told you CLEARLY she wants to bed other men. Marriage is finished.


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

If she sexting another guy she's cheating. End of story. Sex is sex, no matter the form it takes. She is expending her sexual energy on someone else. That's cheating. 

I know it hurts but the very best thing you can do for yourself is end things and go find someone who believes in the fidelity of marriage like you do.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

IF you are going to play this out and let her go do her thing, a few things, 1. She should be moving out getting her own place and being fully financially responsible for her self, period full stop, you are not supporting this in any way. 2. You should start bettering yourself and preparing for the dating world. I recommend go full health nut, clean diet, join a Crossfit gym or something get in the best shape of your life. If she is going to be sleeping with other people you might as well get going also. The divorce will come eventually so best to start preparing now.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Dude: I hate see how today's men react after being told they don't really matter anymore, and that they are nothing but a possible plan B, while the wife is getting her jollies tickle. No wonder these women do and think the way they are thinking, because it's obvious that they do not longer have any respect for their man, they don't think of the man as a "man" anymore. Why that is: because these men have become complacent, domesticated in their marriage, and after a while the woman loses whatever they saw in the man to begin with. many of these men are basically pussified. 

The moment she told you that she was going to be seeing other men, that was the moment you should had told her. **** NOT, DIVORCE it is. Go **** whoever you wish now, but as of this moment you are on your own. You pay your half of everything, I pay the other half. 

But most of these men what they do is beg, go on mechanism control mode, piss in their pants; whatever. "but I love her" what the heck love got to do with anything here? She doesn't love you, she is not in love with you. She's so far ahead of you that when you try to catch up it's too late for you to do anything, and you're left sucking your thumb; legally and otherwise.

Dude: immediately, stop any attempts at making her chance her mind, you can't force anyone to love you. Do not chase, YOU should be chased. Have some self respect, confidence that you don't need anybody in this earth, that you can be on your own and eager to find another one of the billions of women available out there. What are you afraid of that are trying to force an issue that does not exist (love for you from her)? Dump her already. Have you already seen an Attorney? you should had the moment she gave you the news. Dude, do not hesitate on this, be proactive, not reactive, or she's going to take to the cleaners. Do not engage her anymore. Carry a VAR with you an activate every moment you're with her, protect yourself. Ensure that you get your 50/50 custody and move on. Remember, you would be divorcing your STBXW, not your children, so don't be afraid.


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## Mybabysgotit (Jul 1, 2019)

Broncos1123 said:


> So long story short, my wife told me that she wants to separate and possibly get a divorce. She said that she still loves me, cares about me, and is attracted to me physically, but that we have been fighting and arguing a lot, and over time, the emotional and romantic intimacy has gone away. She doesn’t know if it can ever come back, but sees “potential” that it could, which is why she wants the separation for now, and not a divorce right away. However, she told me that during the separation she will be talking to other men, and possibly being physically intimate and having sex with them.
> I still love her and do not want a divorce. We have been together over 12 years, married for almost 9, and have two young boys together. But am I crazy for not being okay with her being with other men during this time? How in the world could we ever have the potential to get back together if she is focusing on relationships with other people and not me? I don’t know that I can continue to live with her while all of that is going on, and even though I don’t want it, I feel like just starting the divorce process now is the way to go?
> Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.


lol....you can go ahead and get your balls back from your wife. Looks like she's got her own balls of steel. Incredible what comes out of this forum


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

She's done, whether she (or you) ends it now or sometime later. Maybe she's already seeing someone, but it's equally possible that she's not, but will find someone quickly once you're actually separated. Her has told you her intentions, though, and unless there is a reason for her to delay separating and perhaps go to counseling with you, it will play out on her agenda.


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## Mybabysgotit (Jul 1, 2019)

Broncos1123 said:


> Yeah, I mean, I understand your point. She’s definitely changed. We’ve been together over 12 years and she’s never been like this. So it’s hard for me to separate who she is in these past few weeks to who she has been the last 12+ years.


A change like that, that fast, only means one thing: Someone is ****ing her very well and she's hooked on that ****. No one throws 12 years of marriage away in a few weeks of seeing someone new.


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## Broncos1123 (Mar 3, 2021)

Thanks all for the advice and words. I have a lot of thinking to do, but I’m definitely leaning towards divorcing her ASAP at this point.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

The reality is that she is NOT who you think she is/was. Take off the rose colored glasses and start worrying about YOUR life and your kids. NOT her.

VERY sorry you are going through this, but you will make it.


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## Broncos1123 (Mar 3, 2021)

jlg07 said:


> The reality is that she is NOT who you think she is/was. Take off the rose colored glasses and start worrying about YOUR life and your kids. NOT her.
> 
> VERY sorry you are going through this, but you will make it.


Thanks! She has definitely changed for sure. She is not the same person that she use to be. It’s weird and crazy for me to think about it, and it’s hard not to worry about her as she’s the mother of my children.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

She is not the person you thought she was these last 12 years. She crossed boundaries and lines as cheaters do and now she is trying to (a) make it alright in her mind; and (b) have her cake and eat it also known as keeping you as Plan B should things not work out with Plan A.

You cannot reconcile under these circumstances and neither should you want to, The chances are astronomically high that she has already slept with someone probably more than once (nobody breaks a marriage over just one night) and you need to come away from thinking she would tell you if she did. As I said she is not that person anymore (if she ever was). Cheaters are natural liars and that is what she is doing.

You need to separate finances and assets and prepare for a divorce and then file - this is war and she is now the enemy. If there are kids involved you need to protect your custody rights and also ensure that she does not bring the POS around them. You also need to go into stealth mode, gather evidence and expose her to family and close friends. I would say expose her at work too since it sounds like a coworker but you want to be careful about her losing her job and you being on the hook for even more alimony and child support.

You need to now work on yourself - physically (hit the gym, improve your appearance etc) and mentally (do the 180). She is gone and you should not engage with her except through your divorce lawyer. Do not get sucked into any reconciliation until you have (a) real remorse from her; (b) the whole truth and transparency; (c) real NC with the POS; and (d) a genuine willingness from her to reconcile - then maybe you might consider reconciliation.

How old are you both, how old are the kids and what is the difference in earnings?
Also record everything she says using a VAR - in fact use VARs to record any conversations she may have when you are not there or in the car. The more evidence you get the better off you will be.

Chin up and battlestations!


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## Broncos1123 (Mar 3, 2021)

manfromlamancha said:


> She is not the person you thought she was these last 12 years. She crossed boundaries and lines as cheaters do and now she is trying to (a) make it alright in her mind; and (b) have her cake and eat it also known as keeping you as Plan B should things not work out with Plan A.
> 
> You cannot reconcile under these circumstances and neither should you want to, The chances are astronomically high that she has already slept with someone probably more than once (nobody breaks a marriage over just one night) and you need to come away from thinking she would tell you if she did. As I said she is not that person anymore (if she ever was). Cheaters are natural liars and that is what she is doing.
> 
> ...


We are 34, the kids are 4 and 5 and we make the same amount.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

That's what separations usually amount to. You see what it's like not being partnered up. I've literally never seen a separation where one or both weren't seeing other people. Separation in the US is just the first trial period of waiting to make sure people want to divorce. I've never known anyone who went through a legal separation to remain married, personally. I'm sure it's happened, mainly when one person wants to keep the relationship so bad they take them back knowing they have and will probably keep seeing other people.


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## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

Broncos1123 said:


> Thanks all for the advice and words. I have a lot of thinking to do, but I’m definitely leaning towards divorcing her ASAP at this point.


Those words indicate you are way way WAY ahead of the game, compared to most who come here. There really is no downside at all to go for divorce. If there's a chance she could have some sort of epiphany, because reality is staring her in the face, great, but I'd be wary of that. She's made her intentions known. She has no boundaries. You need to protect your kids.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

She sounds very entitled so she may be surprised at the idea you could divorce her over this.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

It means she is already seeing somebody. Sorry


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

In Absentia said:


> She's found a new "boyfriend", but she is keeping you as second choice in case it does't work out. Sorry.


This is the most logical answer.

The reason she is saying this is because she already does have someone else in mind, and likely has had sex with this dude.

She has road tested him, and found that he lays down good rubber.

She assuredly likes the OM's personality, of course. This is not all about sex, nope.

She fears losing this bloke if she delays, too much, their tryst.

I do believe she still loves you. Ah, just not enough.
Not enough to stop her from humiliating you.

With her....
Telling you I am done with you, goodbye, I will be having sex with men in the meantime.

Rather, hurrah, low-raw and cruel words from your long-term mate.

This is an exit affair, one that you were not informed of, until now.

She could be a walk away wife with no man in store, but I see that as a minor detail.
A man will soon be found, she told you that.

Her saying that she will be dating other men, means that no one (admittedly) has dibs on her heart and VJ, not yet.

She is keeping her options and lower appendages open.

She thinks she is letting you down easy, lowering your expectations slowly.
In truth, she will lowering herself onto another man's penis, while still married.

You cannot let go, that which has left the building.

Sorry, for your situation....


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Give her divorce papers, and leave it at that. 

She is probably already seeing other men.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Broncos1123 said:


> Thanks! She has definitely changed for sure. She is not the same person that she use to be. It’s weird and crazy for me to think about it, and it’s hard not to worry about her as she’s the mother of my children.


Start to read on this and other boards about adultery. Your story is so common that it's like they read from the exact same script. But because of that you can kind of get a sense what to expect. 

This will be hard for you but you will end up OK. And if you both commit to putting your son's best interest at heart your son will be too. 

It sucks but unfortunately there is nothing you can do.

One thing don't be nice about it, be cold. All business. First of all F her, but beside that any niceness will be seen as weakness. This person is no longer your friend.


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

I'm sorry you're going through this. There's a weird sort of clash that goes on between what you think you know about a person and the brutal reality of who they really are. When that happens, it is almost more devastating than having the person cheat on you. It's the crushing blow to your confidence and sense of doubt in your judgment. But the good news is, it gets better. My life is simpler now without cheating XH. Predictably, what he got when I called him on his BS was not the bevvy of hot young ladies banging down his door, and I suspect the same is true of your STBXW. Hot dudes aren't going to be lined up to take her out in the way she thinks. Look up the 180 and start putting it into practice. Make steps now to live life for your kids and yourself. You don't deserve someone who treats you like this.


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## Nailhead (Sep 21, 2020)

Broncos1123 said:


> So long story short, my wife told me that she wants to separate and possibly get a divorce. She said that she still loves me, cares about me, and is attracted to me physically, but that we have been fighting and arguing a lot, and over time, the emotional and romantic intimacy has gone away. She doesn’t know if it can ever come back, but sees “potential” that it could, which is why she wants the separation for now, and not a divorce right away. However, she told me that during the separation she will be talking to other men, and possibly being physically intimate and having sex with them.
> I still love her and do not want a divorce. We have been together over 12 years, married for almost 9, and have two young boys together. But am I crazy for not being okay with her being with other men during this time? How in the world could we ever have the potential to get back together if she is focusing on relationships with other people and not me? I don’t know that I can continue to live with her while all of that is going on, and even though I don’t want it, I feel like just starting the divorce process now is the way to go?
> Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.


Certainly having OM and dating is going to help your situation. Sir, your wife is looking to keep you as plan B as she test drives OM. 
Don't be plan B. File.


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## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

This breaks my dead shriveled up old heart...There is absolutely no way someone would say this to their spouse unless they already have someone in mind or have already done the deed.
Cheaters lie, they lie again and some more after that. 
At least she was honest and you didn’t go months if not years sharing your wife with another man.


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## Nailhead (Sep 21, 2020)

Broncos1123 said:


> Thanks all for the advice and words. I have a lot of thinking to do, but I’m definitely leaning towards divorcing her ASAP at this point.


Good for you. Don't be anyone's plan B. You deserve better.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Broncos1123 said:


> We are 34, the kids are 4 and 5 and we make the same amount.


God what a selfish woman you married. While the children are too young one day when they ask why you are no longer married tell them their mom was so selfish that she wanted to have more boyfriends instead of daddy


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Lostinthought61 said:


> God what a selfish woman you married. While the children are too young one day when they ask why you are no longer married tell them their mom was so selfish that she wanted to have more boyfriends instead of daddy


It would be better if he is honest and upfront with the kids about what happened.


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

Noooooo. For the love of God do not allow this. As many others have said, she is lying to you. She absolutely intends to sleep with other men and it’s a good possibility that she has already.

She does not respect you and this is not a good faith attempt to figure out her feelings or whatever. If you waiver on this at all, she will see you as even weaker than she already does and lose any remaining respect for you that she might have. Women despise weak men.

You need to take control of the situation immediately. It’s probably a lost cause at this point, her actions and intended actions tell you exactly what she thinks of you. Do not listen to her words, they are partial or total lies, focus on her actions.

Tell her there will be no separation and that you will not be her back up option. There is either full commitment to working on the marriage or there is immediate divorce. You will not tolerate your wife flirting with, sexting or sleeping with other men. She is free to do those things, but not as your wife. She either ceases all of that behavior immediately and agrees to focus on improving your marriage, or you immediately file for divorce. There will be no separation and her current behavior will not continue, at least not as your wife.

Regardless of what happens, you need to start detaching from her and improving yourself immediately. Do the 180 (look it up on here) and do not waiver. Start working on yourself and making yourself a more attractive man. If you’ve gotten out of shape, hit the gym hard and get back in shape. Focus on work, hobbies and preparing yourself to live your life on your purpose and be as attractive as possible to other women.

Even if she relents and agrees to stop her behavior and work on the marriage, it will probably be disingenuous, at least at first. She has already shown complete lack of respect and has already transgressed against you, your marriage and your family. She is not your friend and she is not on your side. Keep your eyes open and continue to act accordingly.

Or you could value your dignity and self respect and recognize what her intentions are and what she thinks of you and divorce her now. Because you deserve better. And even if you’re a useless lump at the moment that doesn’t deserve better, you can very easily improve yourself into a man who does deserve much better within 6 months time. So get after it


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## SGr (Mar 19, 2015)

Broncos1123 said:


> I can totally see how you would assume that, and maybe it’s true. But we’ve talked about it and she’s admitted that she’s been flirting and sexting with guys that she knows, including a coworker, but that nothing physical had happened yet, and based on our 12+ years of knowing her and the trust that we have, I believe her. She’s already admitted to the other stuff, which all happened after she asked for a separation, so I feel like if she did have sex with someone, she would not be able to lie about it and would have told me that too.


Um... That horse has already left the barn.









Sent from my BLA-A09 using Tapatalk


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I would try to find some proof of this affair. She will most likely tell everyone that she didn't start dating this new guy until you two were separated.

You should also consider the possibility that she may become pregnant. Whether it's your baby or his, keep the ripples few and as simple as possible


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Numb26 said:


> It means she is already seeing somebody. Sorry


Or at least has someone in mind.


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## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

Broncos1123 said:


> So long story short, my wife told me that she wants to separate and possibly get a divorce. She said that she still loves me, cares about me, and is attracted to me physically, but that we have been fighting and arguing a lot, and over time, the emotional and romantic intimacy has gone away. She doesn’t know if it can ever come back, but sees “potential” that it could, which is why she wants the separation for now, and not a divorce right away. However, she told me that during the separation she will be talking to other men, and possibly being physically intimate and having sex with them.
> I still love her and do not want a divorce. We have been together over 12 years, married for almost 9, and have two young boys together. But am I crazy for not being okay with her being with other men during this time? How in the world could we ever have the potential to get back together if she is focusing on relationships with other people and not me? I don’t know that I can continue to live with her while all of that is going on, and even though I don’t want it, I feel like just starting the divorce process now is the way to go?
> Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.


You're the plan b. I bet she won't be happy if you sleep with other women. It depends what you want...if you're ok with it, then fine. If you're not, you need to implement a hard boundary here.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Broncos1123 said:


> Thanks all for the advice and words. I have a lot of thinking to do, but I’m definitely leaning towards divorcing her ASAP at this point.


Leaning? You have no choice unless you like being a ****.
I have been where you are. See an attorney fast. I did, although like you I didn’t want to and hated doing it. It saved me from financial disaster. Once she has zero conscience because she will totally detach, she will crush you.
Do yourself a favor and divorce her as fast as legally possible. If you don’t, you will have severe regret.

edit: 100% chance she’s already slapping nasties with her guy or guys.
Don’t even kid yourself she hasn’t.

edit2: You don’t implement a hard boundary, you divorce and forget a person like this ever existed.
any thoughts you spend on her from this point on will bring you nothing but pain.
She is a horrid person with zero character. I can’t think of a bad enough adjective or I’d use it.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

When a woman wants a separation and to date other men, your marriage is over. Don't let her drag it out. File papers.


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## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

Broncos1123 said:


> I can totally see how you would assume that, and maybe it’s true. But we’ve talked about it and she’s admitted that she’s been flirting and sexting with guys that she knows, including a coworker, but that nothing physical had happened yet, and based on our 12+ years of knowing her and the trust that we have, I believe her. She’s already admitted to the other stuff, which all happened after she asked for a separation, so I feel like if she did have sex with someone, she would not be able to lie about it and would have told me that too.


Here's your first mistake, you're believing the wrong words. Women always tell you what they want or are up to, you just have to listen. She told you what you mean to her, now listen.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

Broncos1123 said:


> Thanks all for the advice and words. I have a lot of thinking to do, but I’m definitely leaning towards divorcing her ASAP at this point.


So here's some advice, find out who the top divorce lawyers around your state are and have a paid consultation with ALL of them. Meet with them all discuss your situation and get their initial thinking. This does 2 things first you get a bunch of different professional opinions on things and you can see which one you feel best about working with. Second, if you have paid, met with and discussed the situation with them your wife cannot hire them, it would be a conflict. Now your wife will have a second rate lawyer going up against you top rate one. Now is not the time for mercy, get into the warrior mentality, this is about the quality of your life long term the harder you fight now the better off you'll be a few years from now and for the rest of your life.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Broncos1123 said:


> So it’s hard for me to separate who she is in these past few weeks to who she has been the last 12+ years.


Adding my .02 cents to the pot here - and speaking as a woman - she's got the hots for a new guy. You're toast. Sorry.


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Broncos1123 said:


> I can totally see how you would assume that, and maybe it’s true. But we’ve talked about it and she’s admitted that she’s been flirting and sexting with guys that she knows, including a coworker, but that nothing physical had happened yet, and based on our 12+ years of knowing her and the trust that we have, I believe her. She’s already admitted to the other stuff, which all happened after she asked for a separation, so I feel like if she did have sex with someone, she would not be able to lie about it and would have told me that too.


I'm sorry you're facing this Broncos, I'm surprised you're not upset and ballistic with her current behavior. She's b sexting other men... Even of she hasn't actually screwed one, it's a matter of time and she's already broken your trust and your marriage. 

We're not trying to be heartless or unsympathetic, but she already telegraphed her intentions. If she was a decent person, she'd either work on herself and your marriage or divorce you before hoing around. 


Broncos1123 said:


> Yeah, I mean, I understand your point. She’s definitely changed. We’ve been together over 12 years and she’s never been like this. So it’s hard for me to separate who she is in these past few weeks to who she has been the last 12+ years.


She's showing you who she really is, you're not useful to her anymore, and she does NOT love you or she could not willfully hurt you now. I'm sorry man, but its time to detach from her, file and dump her faithless ass. She does not deserve a single more minute of your love.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Check your phone bill, electronics, etc. or get a PI. Start digging. Cheaters lie, hide and deny.

Separation is to be able to focus and spend more time with her other man.

Doormats get walked on.

You love what exactly? A wife that has zero respect for you. She wants you to be her puppy while she screws her new boyfriend full time. This comes up all the time. This is the hallmark of an affair.

You’ll be a chump only if you allow it.

This is what you’re getting.
*Blame-shifting *is when a person does something wrong or inappropriate, and then dumps the blame on someone else to avoid taking responsibility for their own behavior.

Never agree to such a humiliating example or lower your standards.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Broncos1123 said:


> I actually did ask her that. I asked her how she would feel if the roles were reversed and I wanted to be with other women, and she told me that it would be selfish of her to deny me that, and so I could if I wanted to. Which I don’t.


Bud. Wake the hell up. She’s already screwing someone. Dig, snoop, etc or just file for. Divorce. NOW!!!!


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Broncos1123 said:


> Thanks, I definitely feel like this is where I’m at. I did make it clear to her that I’m not okay with her being with other people, and that I don’t see how we could potentially make our marriage work when she’s doing that, but she said that she’s still going to be and can’t say that she won’t have sex with someone at some point.


Bud when they tell crap like this you’d better believe them. if not you’re gonna treated like crap. MOVE!!!! She’s already way ahead of you.

Shes already gone. She’s in love with her new boyfriend. You don’t matter or mean a thing.

Don't bother asking. All cheaters lie a lot.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Broncos1123 said:


> Yeah, I mean, I understand your point. She’s definitely changed. We’ve been together over 12 years and she’s never been like this. So it’s hard for me to separate who she is in these past few weeks to who she has been the last 12+ years.


Watching her going out and screwing her boyfriend will change all that. You don’t get moving your life is gonna get even worse. She’s gonna walk all over you and rub it in your face.


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Broncos1123 said:


> So long story short, my wife told me that she wants to separate and possibly get a divorce. She said that she still loves me, cares about me, and is attracted to me physically, but that we have been fighting and arguing a lot, and over time, the emotional and romantic intimacy has gone away. She doesn’t know if it can ever come back, but sees “potential” that it could, which is why she wants the separation for now, and not a divorce right away. However, she told me that during the separation she will be talking to other men, and possibly being physically intimate and having sex with them.
> I still love her and do not want a divorce. We have been together over 12 years, married for almost 9, and have two young boys together. But am I crazy for not being okay with her being with other men during this time? How in the world could we ever have the potential to get back together if she is focusing on relationships with other people and not me? I don’t know that I can continue to live with her while all of that is going on, and even though I don’t want it, I feel like just starting the divorce process now is the way to go?
> Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.


Aww man.....this is classic cheater. She has someone in mind and being a betting man, I will bet you she has already taken her new beau for a test drive. Tell her you want her to be happy and will grant her a divorce as you will not share her. Your next step sir is to educate yourself about the “180” implement it.

Please do not do the “pick me dance”. Nothing turns a woman off more than a display of weakness in a man. If you have been doing the dance STOP! NOW! Let her know you wish her the best, sorry things did not work out, and ask her to move out.

Lastly, lawyer up. You are likely to be served at some point. Why not use the element of surprise and have her served first?

Be strong and do not put up with this ****.


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Broncos1123 said:


> Thanks all for the advice and words. I have a lot of thinking to do, but I’m definitely leaning towards divorcing her ASAP at this point.


Broncos, don't tell her ANYTHING. She announced her intentions to **** around and she has already desecrated your marriage sexting other men. Now that you know the score, it's time to set your pieces in place to play the long game. Divorce and custodial arrangements may take some time to put in place depending on your State's divorce laws. Not to mention, now that you've discovered the extent of her perfidy, assume the worst of her and plan accordingly. 

Separate your finances, make an account in your name only and send your paycheck there, invite her to leave the marital home since she plans to leave the marital bed. Why should you finance her ****bois? See a lawyer, get advice and file ASAP. For the love of God, don't tell her a damned thing, don't let a misplaced sense of honor weaken you now. She made her bed, time to lie in it. 

I know you're sad and nostalgic, but she doesn't want your marriage, so there's no point wasting your efforts. 



Broncos1123 said:


> Thanks! She has definitely changed for sure. She is not the same person that she use to be. It’s weird and crazy for me to think about it, and it’s hard not to worry about her as she’s the mother of my children.


Some people have romanticized views on who they are. It's easy to _say_ things, quite another to live by your chosen code. The fact that was not the least bit ashamed to tell you about her extramarital activities, with full knowledge of right and wrong is stone-cold man. 

Where's her consideration of you as father of her children? Where is the love for _her _children and consideration for _their _welfare? What does she think is going to happen in the end? She is a broken, callous person and I'm sorry she's so selfish not to see how her actions will ripple forward. 

You and your children deserve better than this. If she starts backpedaling to decisive actions in the future, hold the line. The fact that she could do what she's doing says all you need to know about her.


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Read up on runaway wife syndrome.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

There is no way in hell you should put up or even consider putting up with it.

When I had been dating my wife for about a month her ex boyfriend came by when I was there. I told her that if she wanted to be with me to tell him to piss off and not come back for his own good because I would pound his weak ass into the cement.

Never saw or heard about him again.

She is challenging you saying she’s going to go out and bone other dudes. There can’t be a universe where you’re ok with this. 

I suggest going to attorney and blindsiding her with papers. In the meantime start lifting, get jacked, and when you’re recovered get back on the horse.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

One last thing. When someone admits they’re sexting and planning to **** other men to their own husband—— they are already spreading their legs to every man in the block. In this case, I don’t think it’s just one man she’s screwing, I’m betting it’s multiple.
You only know about the snowflake sitting on the tip of the Antarctic ice shelf. Do you think she’d tell you everything at this point?

I agree, she’s flat out daring you to divorce her. She wants you to. By all means, oblige her and get the best attorney possible.


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## Thisnotthat (Oct 28, 2020)

Broncos, I'm so sorry. 

You should be really, really angry right about now. Are you angry? If your not angry, keep looking, you'll find it. 

Harness that anger, it will guide your decisions in the right direction.

Again, I'm so sorry.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

What ever you do, don’t leave your home. Tell your stbxw that she needs to move out if she wants to see other men.

Talk with the top 5 divorce lawyers in your area and get the best one.

Take your wedding ring off. Your marriage as you know it us over.

Read The 180 and follow it 100%


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## TheGoodFather (Feb 12, 2021)

Plan A: She asks for separation and then go screw other men.
Plan B: If she finds somebody foolish enough to marry her, then divorce husband.
Plan C: If none, go back to husband.

Rinse, repeat.

Your priorities now should be to protect your kids and your ass-ets. Think straight. Good luck.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Broncos1123 said:


> I actually did ask her that. I asked her how she would feel if the roles were reversed and I wanted to be with other women, and she told me that it would be selfish of her to deny me that, and so I could if I wanted to. Which I don’t.


Of course she did. Omfg.



Rowan said:


> Okay, then. She's just told you, very clearly and with no room for misunderstanding, that she's all done being faithful to you. You should proceed accordingly.


^^This.

Translated by the ladysplainer, this is what your wife actually meant "I want to separate so that I can bang other men, I also want to stay married while I do it so I have a backup plan, lolz - you, in case it doesn't work out, 'coz then I can come back, k? Oh, and I don't care if you don't like it, that's what I'm doing"

Nope. She's been crystal clear. Proceed accordingly - attorney asap, go for the throat. She needs to gtfo of the family home too. 

You also need to be aware that if she gets pregnant while banging these other men while still married to you, that the divorce won't go through until after the baby is born, and you will be the legal father ie child support anyone? until proven otherwise.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Numb26 said:


> It would be better if he is honest and upfront with the kids about what happened.


I don't think the children should be told anything like that unless they are adults. And if there's one thing judges hate, it's saying things like that to the children.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Mybabysgotit said:


> lol....you can go ahead and get your balls back from your wife. Looks like she's got her own balls of steel. Incredible what comes out of this forum


I know right?? The audacity!


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

I didn't read all the replies...But the obvious is clearly evident....She has checked out...I mean, sure, she can find out a year later after seeing that the grass isn't greener, come back around, but at that point, the relationship will likely be tainted forever, so I wouldn't put any hope in that....

And sure, you can get mad, hire investigators, track her devices and car, yell, holler, name call, shame, whatever....But really, is it worth it at this point? All it is going to do is confirm that which is obvious...And no one I ever knew got arrested for adultery....It's normal to be pissed off and hurt, but I don't think its time or effort spent wisely getting vindictive or letting it control your life...

Like it or not, the biggest issue here is the kids...If you handle this right, you can spare them the tumult and firestorm...to what degree I really don't know at this point....But whenever things get ugly, no matter the circumstances or who is at fault, the kids suffer...That you can count on....

What you need to do right now is begin the process of realization that this is over as far as a romantic couple is concerned...For whatever reason, she lost desire to be with you and wants to see what is out there for her..or has already seen it and wants that over you and the kids...Don't fly off the handle, maintain calmness and dignity...Get a consult with an attorney and start to get any loose ends tied...Handle it like a boss...and maintain strength and character...View it as her loss and not yours...

Take care of yourself and remember your kids...Whether we like it or not, your kids need you right now to be strong.....


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## Hiner112 (Nov 17, 2019)

joannacroc said:


> Hot dudes aren't going to be lined up to take her out in the way she thinks.


My ex after we'd been separated for 6-ish months said something to the effect of, "I might end up alone" so she'd expected to rebound into another relationship like she did when she was in HS (when she met me) and that didn't happen. My reaction was, "No ****, we're in our 40s have teenagers we're going to be co-parenting for years to come and people our age are often set in their ways to an extent.". 



hamadryad said:


> And sure, you can get mad, hire investigators, track her devices and car, yell, holler, name call, shame, whatever....But really, is it worth it at this point? All it is going to do is confirm that which is obvious...And no one I ever knew got arrested for adultery....It's normal to be pissed off and hurt, but I don't think its time or effort spent wisely getting vindictive or letting it control your life...


This was more or less my reaction. Investigations aren't going to turn up anything that would affect the divorce decree generally and you already know that your marriage is over. All that you should be focused on is making sure your divorce is "fair" and trying to get out as quickly and cheaply as possible. If you can avoid lawyers, it will be cheaper but there's little evidence that your ex is going to play nice.


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I don't think the children should be told anything like that unless they are adults. And if there's one thing judges hate, it's saying things like that to the children.


Teacher hat on, can I recommend, minimal details to the kids? You can and should disclose that you and mom are taking a break, separating, at mom's request. That you still love them, that their mom still loves them, and that none of this is their fault. That you will continue to coparent them, they will both still be in their lives. What kids typically want to know is how this will effect them as you two are their foundation for feeling safe. So if they are in their teens, you can solicit their opinion, but I would refrain from saying anything negative about their mom or allowing others to do so in their earshot. Judges look poorly on that, and apart from that, it can be VERY traumatic for kids to see the two people they trust the most arguing, hating each other, and dragging their kids into the mess. I know this isn't a mess you created. But still, it is traumatic. They love both parents typically so just try and do what you can as a team to coparent them effectively. That might mean texts or emails only initially, when your feelings are high. Update the school when you do separate and give them mom's contact info so they can notify you both about school events and you don't have to play middle man. Do not make them choose between their parents. Try and support them as best you can because as bad as this is for you, it's scary, unpredictable for them, and they are still kids. With help and support they can get through this, but try and minimize the arguing in front of them.


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

Just to clarify I meant their opinion about how they would prefer the custody schedule to be split.


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## ShatteredKat (Mar 23, 2016)

Coming in a bit late - I see several others with experience in wandering spouse have already hit the issue dead center:

from others posting here:
_The first thing you need to understand - really know in your bones and accept as absolute gospel -* is that cheaters LIE*. All of them.

The second thing you need to understand is that cheaters will only admit to what they absolutely have to. Because they lie. All of them.

So, if she's been confessing to emotional infidelity, then there's a very good chance that's only part of the story.

And, frankly, even if that's all that's going on, why would you be okay with that? No sex, but she's flirting and sexting other men. That sound like the sort of blatant disrespect you want to tolerate from your wife? Why don't you think you deserve better?_

and:
_This breaks my dead shriveled up old heart...There is absolutely no way someone would say this to their spouse unless they already have someone in mind or have *already done the deed.
Cheaters lie, *they lie again and some more after that.
At least she was honest and you didn’t go months if not years sharing your wife with another man_

and

_Adding my .02 cents to the pot here - and speaking as a woman - she's got the hots for a new guy. *You're toast.* Sorry.
_
see the refrain?

the above is exactly what I have seen an uncountable times in this board -
as is noted by so many of the posts already on your thread

Your best choice is to start on the path of living without your current albatross.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Elvis has left the building......


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## Kamstel2 (Feb 24, 2020)

Don’t play the pick me game. First, it never ends well, and second, you are showing nothing but weakness, which women do NOT find attractive!

if you want to have ANY shot of saving your marriage, you need to act decisively and quickly!
Tell her that separation is not an acceptable option as it leaves you, her, and the kids in limbo for an indefinite amount of time. Tell her that it is best to move straight towards a divorce so that you both can find the partners you want and deserve to have. It you stand your ground, I bet she backs down. If she does, then you will be at the very start of reconciliation. And we
Can help you with it as well, specifically telling her
She needs to quit the job where she is flirting with the guy, and tell the guy’s girlfriend/wife.

If she doesn’t back down, divorce was inevitable!

good luck and stay strong.


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## So Married (Dec 18, 2020)

Kamstel2 said:


> tell the guy’s girlfriend/wife.


This is probably all you need to do to get good and mad. She will probably blow a gasket when you do this. Then, if wasnt' arleady clear enough, you'll see -up close and personal- who she chooses to protect. Sadly, it won't be you and your children, whom she's already cheated on. Make no mistake, emotional affairs (sexting etc) are still affairs, and she's probably done more than that anyway. 

I'm sorry this is happening to your and your kids, but you have got to stand up to her.


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## manowar (Oct 3, 2020)

Broncos1123 said:


> We’ve been together over 12 years and she’s never been like this.


she has probably been like this for a while but holding it in. her feeling resentment towards you. dead bedroom is a giveaway if thats the case. usually they find a backup 6 months prior before wanting to separate. sucks having this sprung on you. whatever you do dont be weak and do the so called pick me dance or ILYs. she thinks she loves someone else right now that gives her the tingles she hasn't felt for years. her mindset is in the clouds. your best bet is going grey rock 180 and cutting back on the things she depends on you for. dont make her life easier. start working on yourself.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

joannacroc said:


> Teacher hat on, can I recommend, minimal details to the kids? You can and should disclose that you and mom are taking a break, separating, at mom's request. That you still love them, that their mom still loves them, and that none of this is their fault. That you will continue to coparent them, they will both still be in their lives. What kids typically want to know is how this will effect them as you two are their foundation for feeling safe. So if they are in their teens, you can solicit their opinion, but I would refrain from saying anything negative about their mom or allowing others to do so in their earshot. Judges look poorly on that, and apart from that, it can be VERY traumatic for kids to see the two people they trust the most arguing, hating each other, and dragging their kids into the mess. I know this isn't a mess you created. But still, it is traumatic. They love both parents typically so just try and do what you can as a team to coparent them effectively. That might mean texts or emails only initially, when your feelings are high. Update the school when you do separate and give them mom's contact info so they can notify you both about school events and you don't have to play middle man. Do not make them choose between their parents. Try and support them as best you can because as bad as this is for you, it's scary, unpredictable for them, and they are still kids. With help and support they can get through this, but try and minimize the arguing in front of them.


I agree.

I also agree that this approach is very hard to do.

In that battle between passion and reason, reason is usually rationalized away by that stronger passion.

It is very hard to temper, Justice.

History bears this out.


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## theloveofmylife (Jan 5, 2021)

Broncos1123 said:


> However, she told me that during the separation she will be talking to other men, and possibly being physically intimate and having sex with them.


Have you handed her walking papers?


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## CoachWisch (Mar 6, 2021)

Broncos1123 said:


> So long story short, my wife told me that she wants to separate and possibly get a divorce. She said that she still loves me, cares about me, and is attracted to me physically, but that we have been fighting and arguing a lot, and over time, the emotional and romantic intimacy has gone away. She doesn’t know if it can ever come back, but sees “potential” that it could, which is why she wants the separation for now, and not a divorce right away. However, she told me that during the separation she will be talking to other men, and possibly being physically intimate and having sex with them.
> I still love her and do not want a divorce. We have been together over 12 years, married for almost 9, and have two young boys together. But am I crazy for not being okay with her being with other men during this time? How in the world could we ever have the potential to get back together if she is focusing on relationships with other people and not me? I don’t know that I can continue to live with her while all of that is going on, and even though I don’t want it, I feel like just starting the divorce process now is the way to go?
> Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.


Statistically, women are thinking about divorce 2-3 years prior to hinting at it so you're behind the 8 ball already. My 3 most pertinent tips for you are: 1) Set up a WEEKLY date night, once a week get away from the kids and spend QUALITY time together; 2) Kiss her PASSIONATELY every day, this might be hard considering her mindset at the moment but she needs to know you still are passionate about her; 3) Tell her something every day that reveals how you feel about her, i.e she's an amazing mom, she's got a sexy walk, comment on how beautiful her smile is, etc. EVERY DAY!!! You have nothing to lose and everything to gain here. I've been through divorce and alienation from my kids and trust me that is NOT something you want to go through. I'll pray for you and your marriage.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

CoachWisch said:


> Statistically, women are thinking about divorce 2-3 years prior to hinting at it so you're behind the 8 ball already. My 3 most pertinent tips for you are: 1) Set up a WEEKLY date night, once a week get away from the kids and spend QUALITY time together; 2) Kiss her PASSIONATELY every day, this might be hard considering her mindset at the moment but she needs to know you still are passionate about her; 3) Tell her something every day that reveals how you feel about her, i.e she's an amazing mom, she's got a sexy walk, comment on how beautiful her smile is, etc. EVERY DAY!!! You have nothing to lose and everything to gain here. I've been through divorce and alienation from my kids and trust me that is NOT something you want to go through. I'll pray for you and your marriage.


@CoachWisch Please read this part of the rules for posting on TAM: "14. No posting just to advertise products, services, or other websites. While it is ok to have a link to your website in your signature line once you become a "Member," affiliate links and paid posting are never allowed. "Registered Users" are no longer allowed to use signature links. (You must be active on the site for a little while in order to become a "Member").

Please remove the promotional links in your signature. If you wish to advertise your services on TAM Please visit Vendor FAQ


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