# Should a partner have sex with you if they dont fancy you any more?



## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

I guess thats the £64,000 question, isnt it?

In my case, I have put on a fair bit of weight since we got married and havent made a great effort to lose weight. My wife, to be fair, I can see now, has tried to keep things going for my sake and has mentioned my weight for years. However, it now seems like she cant do it anymore...

Also, even when we first met, her sex drive was pretty low, so I guess these issues means its pretty zero for her.

So, should my wife feel obliged to meet my needs because she married? For better for worse and all that.

Or if she doesnt find me attractive, and doesnt enjoy sex, should she be able to say no? And then make it my responsibility to sort out.


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

i think your question is personal to you and your marriage.
i go through times like now where i dont Love my H , but were stil having sex. im actually finding our sex life better at the moment.

i think you can get to a point where if one person isnt making the effort , then its puts the other of trying . this has happened to me.
i think you need to re-establish communication with her on your issues.
the questions you ask here- you should be asking her!


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## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

Yeh, trouble is it always seems to lead to an argument when that subject comes up !!!!


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

psychocandy said:


> I guess thats the £64,000 question, isnt it?
> 
> In my case, I have put on a fair bit of weight since we got married and havent made a great effort to lose weight. My wife, to be fair, I can see now, has tried to keep things going for my sake and has mentioned my weight for years. However, it now seems like she cant do it anymore...
> 
> ...



First, sex is more mental than it is physical.

You shouldn't look to your wife to make you happy. If you are overweight and want to lose weight then you should do anything you can to lose it, if you are physically able too.

Although sex isn't needed in a marriage it helps a lot.

draconis


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

draconis said:


> Although sex isn't needed in a marriage it helps a lot.


*
Draconis!*

Aren't you being a little harsh? 
1)If one or both partners in a marriage needs it, then it's NEEDED.
2)The human race would die out. So it's needed. It's a dirty job but someone's got to do it.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

psychocandy-

Just how overweight are you, and do you intend to do anything about it?


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

psychocandy said:


> So, should my wife feel obliged to meet my needs because she married? For better for worse and all that.


No way. Get in shape and take care of yourself.


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

psychocandy said:


> Yeh, trouble is it always seems to lead to an argument when that subject comes up !!!!


can you explain the argument and the build up to it in more detail?


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

mommy22 said:


> Your wife has shown you love by having sex with you even though she didn't have much of a drive and you've had some weight issues.


i think you made a valid point here mommy22


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## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

OK. Fair point.

When we got married I was just under 13 stone. A few months ago I was almost 19stone.

After a few months of diet/exercise, I'm now about 16stone.

Yeh. Trouble is I'm crap at losing weight.

I sort of agree with both your answers in a way. I was just looking for some reassurance that I wasnt being a mug and letting my wife lay down the law too much....


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## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

Well, as soon as the subject even comes up the mood changes...

Difficult to explain - I just know that any mention and shes straight on the defensive. She accuses me of hassling her into agreeing things she doesnt want to do etc.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

psychocandy said:


> Well, as soon as the subject even comes up the mood changes...
> 
> Difficult to explain - I just know that any mention and shes straight on the defensive. She accuses me of hassling her into agreeing things she doesnt want to do etc.



Communications more often than not are about how you approach subjects than anything else. Using I instead of you when addressing an issue etc.

draconis


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## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

mommy22 said:


> Before my husband lost weight, I had a more difficult time with the physical. Like your wife, I didn't stop having sex with him, but I struggled with attraction. It was also a lot harder physically with his stomach hindering us. It's so much more pleasurable with him being healthier. I know he loves me enough to take care of himself for me and wants me to enjoy sex with him. I feel loved when he takes care of himself for me. In turn, I keep myself up for him.


I guess thats what she thinks I suppose. If I lose weight for her, then she'll try harder for me....

Seems fair I suppose...


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

as you already lost 3 stone, you made a change.
the more the weight comes of the harder it gets and it takes longer.
train your brain - do some reverse psychology . like you say and this time only tell her in communication you would like to lose the weight for her (obviously you have to do this for yourself more) but use your wife as an advantage point ,that she important in your life for you to want to change.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

psychocandy-

Be smart.

Tell her you'll do it for her, but inside make sure you're doing it for you. Otherwise, you are simply being co-dependent.

After you have reached your perfect shape, you will be in a far better position to look around for a better offer if she still ignores your needs.


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## Jenni (Nov 30, 2008)

Well, think about what would happen if your wife left you now. Wouldn't you have to go on a diet if were back on the singles scene? Besides, it is not healthy to be too overweight so you are doing yourself a favor as well. You don't have to starve yourself and get depressed over it. Tell your wife you want to both start eating healthier and you need her support. Regarding her sex drive, it could be due to a lot of reasons: hormonal, lack of incentives, boredom, depression, unhappiness with work, lack of romance and maybe she just don't feel sexy and she needs some sparks.


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## MsLady (Dec 1, 2008)

You should continue to lose weight for your health, your self-esteem and because it can't hurt matters. But don't do it with the motivation of getting more sex out of your wife. You might find yourself dissapointed and she might find herself under undue pressure to deliver "the reward".

Since there is so little communication between the two of you on this matter it's possible that the weight is only a small part of what's wrong on her end and there may be man other things to be dealt with before your sex life can become healthy again.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

MarkTwain said:


> make sure you're doing it for you. Otherwise, you are simply being co-dependent.


:iagree:

You're gonna have to find a way to make the eating a disdainful pleasure. Go volunteer at nursing homes or hospitals. Maybe you can find some motivation there. Whenever i think of my experiences in those places, i never want junk food.


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## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

Jenni said:


> Well, think about what would happen if your wife left you now. Wouldn't you have to go on a diet if were back on the singles scene? Besides, it is not healthy to be too overweight so you are doing yourself a favor as well. You don't have to starve yourself and get depressed over it. Tell your wife you want to both start eating healthier and you need her support. Regarding her sex drive, it could be due to a lot of reasons: hormonal, lack of incentives, boredom, depression, unhappiness with work, lack of romance and maybe she just don't feel sexy and she needs some sparks.


You have a good point. If I was single I'd have to lose weight !!!


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## Flutterlashes (Jan 8, 2009)

Do I sense that you are feeing insecure about the weight-gain? Regardless of your size, if you feel happy within yourself then you will understand that it's likely that sexual activity is not a matter of duty, but an action of love. I hope my theory makes sense. x


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## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

Yes, I agree with you, but :-

1. I am pretty overweight. Not just a bit. (I'm 16 stone and 5' 8"). So, obviouslym there are health implications.

2. My wife has mentioned my weight for years and has been VERY understanding and patient. I just havent listened and despite promises havent done too much about it.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

psychocandy-

What are you waiting for?

All you have to do to lose weight is exercise or eat better/less OR if you want the fast-track do both. do think slimness happens to *other* people. It happens to anyone who moves towards it.


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## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

Yes mate. I know, I know, I know...


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## GPR (Jan 3, 2009)

mommy22 said:


> This is completely random, but what is 16 stone converted into weight in pounds (because you're obviously not talking about kg)?


I had to look it up too.

1 stone = 14 pounds basically

So by the calculator

13 stone = 182lbs (when married)
19 stone = 266lbs (high point)
16 stone = 224lbs (now)


From those numbers, you've done a great job so far!!!!

And remember, eating healthier and exercise will only help with your depression and anxiety issues that you have mentioned in other threads.


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## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

GPR said:


> I had to look it up too.
> 
> 1 stone = 14 pounds basically
> 
> ...


Sorry - I forgot you lot in the USA dont do Stones !!!!

Yeah. Sort of back to probably 229-230 now. Been stuck at this for ages now...


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## GPR (Jan 3, 2009)

Just keep up on it, seriously. Like I said, the exercise will not only make you look better, but you will feel better, physically and mentally. 

You have to make an strong effort to get better and deal with your problems. As a spouse of someone that suffers from depression and anxiety, it is extremely difficult on us too. And if it seems like the other person doesn't make serious attempts to get better, I mean really take steps, make efforts, get outside your comfort zone, it makes the strain and resentment on the other spouses part increase ten-fold. 

To you, it might not seem fair. It's a problem that people suffer from... but nothing is harder than for your spouse to just think that you don't want to get better. It's similar to the weight loss thing. Wanting to get better from something like that is a sign that you love her as well as yourself. You want to get better to make her life better as well.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

How did you get down to 16 Stone ?


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## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

Hmm. Its really getting me down now.

OK. I havent lost any weight yet. I know thats my fault. Wife is still not going for it. She says she just cant do it because I'm overweight.

I've tried to explain that I cant go without anything but she doesnt seem to understand. am I being unfair or is she?


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## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

psychocandy said:


> Hmm. Its really getting me down now.
> 
> OK. I havent lost any weight yet. I know thats my fault. Wife is still not going for it. She says she just cant do it because I'm overweight.
> 
> I've tried to explain that I cant go without anything but she doesnt seem to understand. am I being unfair or is she?


You admit you haven't worked on your side of the "bargain" lately, why should she?


You should make a deal with her, for every day you go to the gym AND eat healthy in the same day, she has some sort of sex with you.

Or every 2 days you do that she has sex with you once, etc.

You have to do both in the same day, eat healthy AND go to the gym.


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## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

Nah. Tried that. She wont do deals !!!!


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## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

From what I've read on your two posts I think there is more to it than just being overweight, on her side.

There is something else there that is making her not want you, the weight is part of it, but there is something else and I'm not quite sure what it is.

If it was just the weight she would be willing to do things to help you lose it, to give you "incentives" to lose it, etc. She doesn't appear to be willing to do that and its almost like she hopes you don't lose it so she doesn't have to sleep with you even once you do lose the weight.

I could be totally off base, but thats what I see in what you say is her responses to everything.


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## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

She also says I dont bother with my appearance as much as I used to.


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## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

psychocandy said:


> She also says I dont bother with my appearance as much as I used to.


Well, just coming from personal experience with my wife.

I always want my wife, but the desire is even stronger if I can tell when I got home from work that she "bothered" with her appearance that day.

So I can understand where your wife is coming from, while I'm never to the extreme she is and not wanting your spouse at all (I go only from always wanting her to not being able to keep my hands off her).

For instance, if I come home from work and my wife is still in her pajama pants and a baggy tee shirt, I will still want her that night, but if I come home and she is all "dolled up" I can't keep my hands off her all night long.

There is DEFINITELY something for trying to look your best for your spouse, that is for sure.


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

Hrumph. I get all dolled up and all i get is a "where are you going?" 

It's made me (over the last 12 months) go from getting dolled up for sex, to getting dolled up for fun to saying 'why do i bother again?' and just getting dolled up for me because the kids tell me how good i look


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## humpty dumpty (Nov 26, 2008)

Its about going that extra mile ... being bothered... when we stop being bothered....our partners stop being bothered... its a spiral your self esteem goes down ...so start working on making small differences then im sure she will follow.
you need to stop beating yourself up and start beliving in yourself ..you are a good person with a big heart start beliving that


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## marina72 (Dec 29, 2008)

"Hmm. Its really getting me down now."

"OK. I havent lost any weight yet. I know thats my fault. Wife is still not going for it. She says she just cant do it because I'm overweight."

"I've tried to explain that I cant go without anything but she doesnt seem to understand. am I being unfair or is she? "

Okay, here goes.... Hi psychocandy,,, I highlighted above what you just said, because the point I'm going to make is somewhat different. 

It's got you down for good reason. You're a human being, with feelings, and from the sounds of your post, a big heart. You sound absolutely charming. Of course I dont' know you , so I can only base it on what you sound like. I personally feel, that although physical health, and appearance, are factors sometimes in how an attraction for someone develops, when you marry someone, you make a lifelong committment (barring of course abuse and things like infidelity) you vow to keep those promises. One of those, is to Love, for better , or for worse, also, In sickness and in health. Part of loving someone , is expressing that love, through sharing your body with them. I am not saying she should force herself, to have sex, if she's not there and wanting it.... but if your appearance, is SO totally important so as to completely destroy anything she had for you... then perhaps the problem is with her? maybe she's a bit on the shallow side? Please understand, I'm trying to give you a different viewpiont....

You said you weigh about 224.... to me, that's not overly much, depending on how tall you are. Are you under 5 feet 8''?

You may be a bit overweight, but you're still the same man inside, that you always were. And as long as you're not so chubby that she can't even find your "stuff" to pleasure you.... I don't see what could make someone treat their spouse like this. Just totally refuse sex, and actually come out and say that they are unattracted to you. This is just my opinion, I'm sure many disagree with me.
Let me give an example.... my hubby, who is 10 years older than me, (i'm 34 he's 44) was 39 when we began dating, he had the body of a 25 year old man, hard as a rock, butt like brad pitts.... arms the size of watermelons..... to put it mildly his body was unbelievable.... he eventually let himself go, and stopped working out (let me add, that he was working out obsessivly, and finally gave it up) when I say working out, I mean, obessed with it.... 

Well, the years have gone by, and he's now 44 and a bit flabby, and dimply, and has a nice little round belly for me to jiggle and kiss.... he has a few more wrinkles too... he is 5' 6'' and weighs about 165.... not too bad. But you know what? To me, he's just as sexy, gorgeous, cute, hot, and manly, as he ever was... when I look at him, I don't see a different person, I see the man I fell madly in love with, and that's because I fell in love with HIM... not his body. With his heart... not his biceps... with his generous , loving nature, not his tight butt.... and yes, he's gone a bit flabby, but because I fell in love with who he is as a person, my sexual attraction for him, has not faded. He is the person , that I valued as a human being, and wanted to be with forever.... and him changing some, or a lot ,in appearance,,, has not dulled, taken away, or squashed my love or attraction for him. I am his wife, and would never withold sex for such a shallow, trivial, sad reason.... This is my take on it. And maybe if your wife cannot love you, without physical appearance conditions, then she is the one with the problem? 

What would happen, if you or she, should be in an horrific accident , where disfigurement occured? Would she stop loving you if you were hot as hell, but then lost a leg? If you were thin and gorgeous, but then got burned and had no face left? How is this any different, in fact, she's lucky it's just a few pounds you've gained, not your face that been ripped off by some freak accident.

When you love, you love the person, and if you truly love that person, and value them as a human being, then the attraction just comes naturally, even when the passage of time, and wrinkles, and flab, and cellulite... Beauty will Always fade, for all of us, and we all will undergo changes to our bodies... that doesn't and shouldn't change our spouses love for us. So, psychocandy... I think you're Great the way you are, and that if you want to lose weight, because you are unhappy with yourself, then go for it! But don't ever do something like that for your wife, she has the problem here, not you. Likely, even if you drop a ton of weight, the problem might still be there... maybe it's not your weight at all, and she's using that as an excuse for some deeper problem that she, or you both are having. Either way.... love yourself, and if she can't love you for you, fat, thin, ugly, or gorgeous.. then you deserve better. 

This is just me and how I feel , and I just wanted to give you a different perspective on this subject. Take care, and good luck. You seem like such a sweetheart.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

marina72 said:


> What would happen, if you or she, should be in an horrific accident , where disfigurement occured? Would she stop loving you if you were hot as hell, but then lost a leg? If you were thin and gorgeous, but then got burned and had no face left? How is this any different, in fact, she's lucky it's just a few pounds you've gained, not your face that been ripped off by some freak accident.


I'm sooooo moved by this.

However, it may be that psychocandy's wife actually loves and desires hiom, but she is desperately trying to coerce him into getting healthier. If that is the reason, I understand. If however her words are to be taken at face value, then YES, it seems a little shallow.


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## humpty dumpty (Nov 26, 2008)

My Hubbie is a little over weight doesnt mean i love him any less in fact i love him more then ever i fancy the pants off him !!! but i do worry about health issues i want him to be healthy .


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## marina72 (Dec 29, 2008)

Mark, 

thanks for saying that. I have read a lot of your posts and I like your style, you are honest, to the point, and never sugar coat things, and you are compassionate also. I do agree of course, that it might be a health issue, but when you're worried about your hubby's health, as I am about mine, (he's got diabetes and heart disease in his family) this isn't typically the treatment that is given . It's not like she is telling him she loves him, and wants him to get healthy, but is still having normal sex with him, according to him, she is saying she's not attracted to him, and just can't bring herself to have sex with him they way he looks now. That to me is so different. 

And you are so right, when you say that if that's all it is to her, then there is a high probability she's somewhat shallow. I totally agree that if he feels he's unhealthy, he should do it for him. 

But I dont' know... it just made me really sad, to read his posts, about how his wife is so turned off she won't even make love to him. That is so damaging to a person. And it certainly isn't what a person signs up for, or expects, when they marry and vow to love honor and cherish, no matter what. I guess I'm old fashioned.

I will tell you a bit about me, and why I've come to develop my way of seeing the looks/body/weight issue.

In elementary and middle school, I was skinny, and not ugly persay, but kind of a dork. Know what I mean? I had the typical buck teeth, and my hair is naturally curly, so it was always kind of boofy, and I didn't know it would look nice long, so I wore it short, which made me look like little orphan Annie LOL... plus, my hair is a mixture of red/brown/ and blond natural colors, and so I could have been her stage second. I was not ugly like I say, had pretty blue eyes.

But, I did get teased sometimes, and oddly, I was somewhat popular, but it was always just because of my personality, it was never because boys thought I was pretty. Also, there used to be this girl named kendra... she was overweight, had bad teeth, and often smelled a bit. And oh my, she was Brutally teased... she also started her period in 5th grade, unusual for back then, and so Everyone was Soooo cruel to her. I was not, I felt pity, sorrow and angst for how badly she was treated. At one point I told my friends who had refused to let her sit at our table for lunch, to stop being so mean, ad that she was a person, just like them. I stuck up for her, threw elementary and middle school. I do not knwo what happened after that, as she went to a different high-school. But I do know, that even the slight apprehenshion I had about my dorky appearance,,, must have Paled in comparison to the anguish this poor girl endured. 

We skip to my highschool days, and I got braces, and grew my hair out, had all of a sudden taken on an hourglass shape with huge boobs, and all the boys fell all over me. I went from an ugly duckling, to a swan... and was surprised , and disappointed, as how much looks, changed the way people saw me. Even though I was the same dorky girl I'd always been... now everyone thought I was really pretty.... 

And now, after two kids, and life, and loss... I'm 34 and getting older, and although I don't have any gray hairs yet, or wrinkles (sunscreen to thank for that) I'm not the same as I was in highschool.. and that is Sooo okay with me... I am not supposed to look hot like I did in highschool. I'm not that age anymore. And I'm happy being the age, and weight, and person that I am now.

So, I guess my view on things, comes from my life experiences, and how I viewed others, who didn't have the luck of being pretty, or at least had some time in their lives where they were the ugly duckling, as I did, and how it truly does not matter what is on the outside, not if what is inside is no good... it's not just a cliche to me, it's true to me. And so I try to view others in the same way... looks come absolutely last in my book. 

And if my hubby got so chubby that his health was in jeopardy, I'd likely try to get him going, and join in with him... but I'd still love him, and I'd still want to ravage his body, to bring him, as well as myself, pleasure. I know... wayyyyy too long! LOL... take care MarkTwain...


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## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

marina72 said:


> "Hmm. Its really getting me down now."
> 
> "OK. I havent lost any weight yet. I know thats my fault. Wife is still not going for it. She says she just cant do it because I'm overweight."
> 
> ...


Marina - thanks for such a long post....


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## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

Seems that this subject has some pretty different views by different people. Thanks for all the input everyone...


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## humpty dumpty (Nov 26, 2008)

You have done such a great job with your weight loss ...see it as a achievement !!! not as a i havent lost for a while ...when you lose weight you reach times when nothing happerns for a few weeks ,this doesnt mean you havent lost anything you could be loseing inches round your waist etc ...Dont give up . 
I know you are working really hard at your marriage ,you really need to realise that you are worth it to !!


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## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

Update:

Well, good news is, after this weekend, things are back on track if you know what I mean. LOL.

We had a chat (amongst other things) and it seems my wife is well impressed with my weight loss and attempts to make more effort with my appearance. I've lost 8lbs so far.

I was worried that she may never appreciate it and wouldnt be keen until I lost loads of weight but it seems the effort is making a difference for her...


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

psychocandy-

In that case it appears that she was going without for your own good. She obviously loves you more than you love yourself. Very rare. Don't let her down. Keep going. Learn about health in depth.


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## debrajean (Dec 27, 2007)

When I met my husband, he wore a size 30 pants and we couldn't keep our hands off one another. Now he wears a 40 and I can barely get my hands around him. Although I still love him, I find my attraction to him has diminished as his waistline has expanded. He knows he needs to lose weight and I try to help him by not keeping any junk food in the house, but his willpower is weak and he continues to eat at fast food places, when not at home and this only adds on pounds. We still have sex, but not as often and he's become selfish about getting his pleasure and forgets that there are two of us in the bedroom. 
What do I do at this point?


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## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

debrajean said:


> When I met my husband, he wore a size 30 pants and we couldn't keep our hands off one another. Now he wears a 40 and I can barely get my hands around him. Although I still love him, I find my attraction to him has diminished as his waistline has expanded. He knows he needs to lose weight and I try to help him by not keeping any junk food in the house, but his willpower is weak and he continues to eat at fast food places, when not at home and this only adds on pounds. We still have sex, but not as often and he's become selfish about getting his pleasure and forgets that there are two of us in the bedroom.
> What do I do at this point?


Debra,

Sounds like me a few months ago. I used to be waist 42 but now I'm down to 38.

I assume you've had a nice talk with him? One piece of advice. Dont make it sound like hes got to be back to size 30 or nothing. Thats probably unrealistic. However, emphasise that you want to see SOME improvement at least.


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## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

MarkTwain said:


> psychocandy-
> 
> In that case it appears that she was going without for your own good. She obviously loves you more than you love yourself. Very rare. Don't let her down. Keep going. Learn about health in depth.


MT,

Yeah. It looks like she was wanting to see some effort from me rather than just wanting me back to my old weight. 

BTW. Lost 8lbs so far.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

psychocandy said:


> MT,
> 
> Yeah. It looks like she was wanting to see some effort from me rather than just wanting me back to my old weight.
> 
> BTW. Lost 8lbs so far.


I think she was actually trying to increase your life span.


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## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

MarkTwain said:


> I think she was actually trying to increase your life span.


Yeah. Of course, theres that too...


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## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

Remember this thread?


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## madimoff (Feb 17, 2010)

psychocandy said:


> Remember this thread?


No, but I saw it & looked at the first two pages, got intrigued, found myself questioning someone's comment about having phases of not loving her husband but keeping on having sex anyway :scratchhead: ..... clicked to the last page & here you are.... so?? Tell us the latest!

both of us are overweight, him more than me, he smokes I hate it & find it a turnoff, I drink too much & hate myself for that and what it's done to my (too)wobbly bits... just so you know it's a common problem!


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## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

madimoff said:


> No, but I saw it & looked at the first two pages, got intrigued, found myself questioning someone's comment about having phases of not loving her husband but keeping on having sex anyway :scratchhead: ..... clicked to the last page & here you are.... so?? Tell us the latest!
> 
> both of us are overweight, him more than me, he smokes I hate it & find it a turnoff, I drink too much & hate myself for that and what it's done to my (too)wobbly bits... just so you know it's a common problem!


Could be better. Then again I aint lost any weight so its my fault as well.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

psychocandy said:


> Could be better. Then again I aint lost any weight so its my fault as well.


I have now started coaching people in weight loss via healthy life style. It's a lot easier than marriage coaching, and unlike my marriage, I have TOTAL control of my waistline


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## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

Hey Mark,

Long time no hear from on these forums. Although I aint on here much these days...

I take it things went a bit wrong with your marraige in the end?


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

psychocandy said:


> I take it things went a bit wrong with your marraige in the end?


There was, ahem... a small hiccough (why can't we spell it hiccup?). But we are getting on fine these days . Not actually living together at the moment though.


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## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

MarkTwain said:


> There was, ahem... a small hiccough (why can't we spell it hiccup?). But we are getting on fine these days . Not actually living together at the moment though.


Glad its sorted out mate....


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

psychocandy said:


> Glad its sorted out mate....


I would not go that far - this is women we are talking about, remember?


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## humpty dumpty (Nov 26, 2008)

and of course us women are the greater sex  !!! 
hell i cant even answer why i feel up one day and down the next lol you men have no chance !!!


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## humpty dumpty (Nov 26, 2008)

but of course we are always right lol unless we want to be wrong !! in which case dont coment smile or even give eye contact lol !! only kidding  comunication is a big key xx good luck both of you .


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## seahorse (Apr 10, 2010)

Blanca, you are absolutely correct on this. Perfect love is unconditional. Desire is not. 

Not sure why people get love and desire mixed up, but they often do.



Blanca said:


> No way. Get in shape and take care of yourself.


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## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

I know this is getting to be an old thread but I thought I'd give an update on my situ.

My wife and I do have sex now. Not as often as I'd like but hey.

Only problem is she doesnt get anything out of it at all, if you know what I mean. She says I still need to lose weight because its not happening for her but she does it because she loves me. She says sex with me is nice in a loving kind of way but thats it.

OK. Fair enough I aint lost much weight. But any comments on this because its kinda weird for me.

Is this the sign of a loving wife who is making sacrifices for me? But just doesnt facny me until I lose weight?

I do wonder how she copes without. But her sex drive was always very low since we met so I dont think she cares that much. Hmmm

Anyone?


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