# Conquering many problems, now ready for sex and lots of it!



## magicsunset08 (Oct 30, 2008)

Hi there,
Have a question ladies. Been married 13 years, together 15 with my wife. Have had our share of problems. Survived an affair she had about 1.5-2 years ago. Made adjustments on my end. Things are better between us. She has become more receptive to my emotions over the past couple of months. I have been frustrated and struggled with trust. I have let go of all that and I am ready for the next step. However, I need some guidance. Don't get me wrong, we have been having sex, but it has not been very good. Throughout our 15 year relationship things have became very routine. I have rec'd some "here it is--hurry up and get it over with sex" over the years and even some lately. I do not want that. My wife has dealt with some self esteem issues and the infedelity issue as well. As i said the affair has been over for about 1.5 years. I am ready to move forward. I feel it is going to take that "oneness" that comes with sex to get back on track again. I have been "courting" and such for ahile now. I have even tried to give comments without being too forward or vulgar. I know in the past she had felt like sex was a "job" for her. I don't want that. I can sense that she is more receptive, but we have not been able to just let go yet. It is still kind of awkward for at least one of us. Upon reading books and in forums and such I have discovered that this is kind of a fragile situation. 1) i don't want to come across as the'cmon'n babe let's do it, i am horny and have needs husband and 2) I don't want to wait as so long that she feels like I am no longer inerested in her because of her insecurities that she still struggles with. So, what do I do? I know that most women icluding my wife like the take charge method, but on the flip side they also like the "quiet type" that is waiting for the right moment guy also. Sex is not something she likes to talk about. I am a talker and will tell anything about myslef and exactly what I want and like. How should I handle this. Is there any lady out there that can give me advice that may have had a similar situation. The situation being....that you want to sex your man, but you are afraid of rejection and repulsed by the thought of your man being so forward about wanting to sex you. Help please.


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

i think we all get scared by the rejection side of it.
but for me personally i just had to get over it and not let the rejection factor get the better of me.
i think sometimes we put the fear into ourselves.
when i had those moments, i would just take a gentle step forward.
hugs and gentle touch to start.
nothing has to be full on at any point.
i think if the touch is acceptable on her or your part, your stil at the point of enjoying eachother.
i wouldnt have gotten repulsed by my H if he was forward, but thats me.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

magicsunset08 said:


> Is there any lady out there that can give me advice that may have had a similar situation. The situation being....that you want to sex your man, but you are afraid of rejection and repulsed by the thought of your man being so forward about wanting to sex you. Help please.


i have been rejected by my H and so that fear is there for me. i dont know that i can help you much b/c i have decided to just back off. ive decided to work on myself and then try again when i feel more comfortable in my own skin. if i feel better about myself i wont see it as rejection, but more as his loss. or i'll be more open to the idea that its just bad communication.


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