# Numb



## summer41 (Apr 10, 2017)

Hi I've posted on here a while ago. The separation is happening now my decision. Can't put the link on here from my earlier posts can't remember how to do it so sorry.

The deed of separation is now with the solicitor to be drawn up, its amicable and I am still living under the roof with the kids until I find a house.

I am scared about how to tell my youngest son about the split he is 9. My daughter who is 13 knows about it and said she just wants me to be happy.

We've agreed to 50/50 childcare and agreed the financials. I just feel numb. He was my best friend my rock from being 18 years old I am now 41 and it's all gone sour fallen out of love and grown apart. 

I am scared of my next chapter of being alone of having to buy a house and set up a new home for me and the kids. 

I know I have made the right decision he would never be the man that I want nor the man I fell in love with. I am so sad. I am now on anti depressants they've made me calm but numb. I am worn out.

Did anyone else have these doubts in the final stretch? 


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

summer41 said:


> I know I have made the right decision he would never be the man that I want nor the man I fell in love with. I am so sad.


Please elaborate. How specifically has he changed? I'm not questioning your decision, just trying to understand the mechanics behind it.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

BetrayedDad said:


> Please elaborate. How specifically has he changed? I'm not questioning your decision, just trying to understand the mechanics behind it.


You might want to check out her previous threads....

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/search.php?searchid=74165833


.


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## summer41 (Apr 10, 2017)

EleGirl said:


> You might want to check out her previous threads....
> 
> 
> 
> http://talkaboutmarriage.com/search.php?searchid=74145993




Thank you @EleGirl x



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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

summer41 said:


> Hi I've posted on here a while ago. The separation is happening now my decision. Can't put the link on here from my earlier posts can't remember how to do it so sorry.
> 
> The deed of separation is now with the solicitor to be drawn up, its amicable and I am still living under the roof with the kids until I find a house.
> 
> ...


It's pretty normal to have a lot of doubts at this point. Your situation, with him still not wanting the divorce and you both still being in the same house, will have a lot of doubt because you are not on a set path yet.


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## summer41 (Apr 10, 2017)

EleGirl said:


> It's pretty normal to have a lot of doubts at this point. Your situation, with him still not wanting the divorce and you both still being in the same house, will have a lot of doubt because you are not on a set path yet.




Thank you for taking the time to reply.x


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

At this point turning your focus to just yourself and your children is very important.

What are you doing these days for yourself?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

It seems that your fears are giving you doubts. Millions of women live alone with their children and you have him to share half of the child care. Be grateful, I had my 3 children 100% of the time with no childcare support.


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## summer41 (Apr 10, 2017)

EleGirl said:


> At this point turning your focus to just yourself and your children is very important.
> 
> 
> 
> What are you doing these days for yourself?




I try to run when I can and spend quality time with the kids. I have to force myself to do things as the feeling low is making me just want to curl up under the covers x



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## Uptown (Mar 27, 2010)

EleGirl said:


> You might want to check out her previous threads....
> http://talkaboutmarriage.com/search.php?searchid=74145993


Ele, that link doesn't work for me. I found Summer's list of threads at:

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/search.php?searchid=74162489​


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Uptown said:


> Ele, that link doesn't work for me. I found Summer's list of threads at:
> 
> http://talkaboutmarriage.com/search.php?searchid=74162489​



Now your link is dead. Maybe the links have a short life? Don't know.

But anyone can find the her threads by going to her profile and looking under "statistics"


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

summer41 said:


> I try to run when I can and spend quality time with the kids. I have to force myself to do things as the feeling low is making me just want to curl up under the covers x


This is why you need to get out. It will help you beat the depression. 

Exercise is very important for this same reason. Do you have any kind of exercise that you can do at home? Maybe put on some movie that is not too heavy a topic, and workout for the length of the movie.


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## KevinZX (Jul 1, 2017)

Hi, i feel your pain, totally. My wife left me some 5 weeks ago, walked out on me and my son, EA with some guy from work, how original. I can tell you that no matter where we are in the separation process it ain't easy, friends are found out for what they are, spineless, dark nights running it all through your mind, it never seems to end the possibilities of what if. I think from speaking with my wife that all is not well, maybe a bit if jump then instantly regretting at least the manner in how she left, i don't know but she has been off work and i have been struggling especially in the early weeks, trying to make sense of it all, i really didn't want to believe it but 5 weeks on it is a reality and i just have to cope. 

Your situation is harder in many ways, you still live under the same roof and that can't be easy. your anxiety is natural and it would be strange if you weren't feeling low and sad. Can i ask why you drifted apart? Is your spouse definitely the wrong man for you, how are your kids relationship with their dad? Can counselling not at least be worth a try? My own story again, i was not what my wife wanted either, but in the short time she has been away, she has told me she see's me altogether a different man, one who will not take her back because of all the EA's, but i have changed and will continue to better myself, maybe give your spouse one last chance or is it defo over. I will follow your story here if you keep TAM updated, the days and weeks ahead will require you to be strong and resilient, it will be worth it if you get what you want.

Love and Peace always

KevinZX


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