# Respondent not responding to divorce



## Plaster (Feb 10, 2013)

Hi guys,

How easy is it to go ahead with a divorce when the respondent (my wife) is not responding to the divorce process?

She has been going on for a divorce. Finally initiated the divorce, the court has sent her a copy, but she has decided not to acknowledge it. 

I've been given 3 options by the court in case I don't get an acknowledgment. Using the bailiffs to personally hand the divorce petition , speak to the judge (something along those lines) and a third option - don't have the paper here with me - can't remember.

Question is, how easy would it be to push ahead with the divorce? I have proof she is with another man and they're living together.

All replies appreciated.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Do you have a lawyer? And you may want to post your location... Different processes in different locations.

C


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

At some point you just get the divorce with everything you asked for. But you need to talk to your attorney to find out how things work in your jurisdiction.

Have you tried emailing or writing your wife to let her know that you will get the divorce and she would have no say if she did not respond?

Personally? I would have love it had my son's father no responded to the divorce when I filed. it would have saved me tens of thousands of dollars. And I would have still gotten the divorce.


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## Plaster (Feb 10, 2013)

Ah true. I'm in the UK. And no, I'm not using any lawyer. I initiated the divorce all myself.

In addition to the above, I really don't want to contact her at all and would prefer the court do that for me.


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

If she is avoiding service, you can serve her by public notification in the local newspaper. I don't know if that is true in every state, however, but it is in the state I live in. She will have 30 days to respond to the complaint after service. If she does not respond to the complaint, the judge will most likely enter an order granting the divorce as requested in your complaint.


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## FrustratedFL (May 18, 2011)

Although you think this would be simple if the person never responds to the court documents, it in fact is a NIGHTMARE. It is expensive and if you have children it is delayed longer.

This is EXACTLY what happened to me in Florida. My ex never responded to the court documents, never sent in any paperwork, was served many times and completely ignored everything. 

I had to motion the court for EVERYTHING which costs tremendous money. He did not respond to the 45 day timeframe for reply after being served. Next, he did not respond to the finance deadline. (His is self employed so harder to get any records). 

I had to motion the court for an assumption hearing. They asked questions like are you John Brown, Do you live at Main St., etc. 
He never showed so court Assumes that the questions are correct and rules in my favor. 

Next, I had to present 2012 tax returns that had the last net income listed from accountant on his business. This is the salary I went with to calculate child support. 

Next, I had to motion my parental plan to court. Court approved the plan but gave him time to argue or counter. I was fair in my plan but he never responded but would text nasty messages to me.

Court date for final I was shocked when he walked in the courtroom. My lawyer asked "is that him?"

Judge then delayed the procedure because ex said he did not like the parental plan. Court delayed for 60 days to come up with new parental plan. My lawyer said we would not change anything and will wait for him. 61 days later we filed another motion for final date since we never heard from ex and no parental plan was present. Judge was pissed and granted me SOLE custody.

May 7, 2014 I finally got divorced. 

Very expensive and long process.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Plaster said:


> Ah true. I'm in the UK. And no, I'm not using any lawyer. I initiated the divorce all myself.
> 
> In addition to the above, I really don't want to contact her at all and would prefer the court do that for me.


How was she notified that you have filed?


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## Plaster (Feb 10, 2013)

karole said:


> If she is avoiding service, you can serve her by public notification in the local newspaper. I don't know if that is true in every state, however, but it is in the state I live in. She will have 30 days to respond to the complaint after service. If she does not respond to the complaint, the judge will most likely enter an order granting the divorce as requested in your complaint.



Not sure if this applies to divorces in the UK. Will find out though. Cheers


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## Plaster (Feb 10, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> How was she notified that you have filed?



The court sent her the petition on my behalf. She is meant to acknowledge it using an acknowledgment form sent together with the petition. But she hasn't.

And I really don't want to have to chase or contact her. 

Based on research, I've noticed reason some people do this is because they don't like the terms. Only possible terms in my case is that I stated one of the the grounds of my divorce to be Adultery. Which is the truth. But I really don't think it's cos of that. And doubt she's thinking twice about it and don't want to divorce - I may be wrong. Since she recently uploaded pictures of herself and the man on her Facebook page.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

How to Obtain a Divorce When Spouse Refuses to Sign Divorce Papers |

https://www.gov.uk/divorce/apply-for-decree-nisi

I know you are in the UK. The first site is more general directions. The second should be what you are asking about.

In my state, someone I know took 8 years to get a divorce because her husband, her attorney, and his attorney would not pursue the action in court. No, she did not get all she wanted. It was done before a judge and things were divided, somewhat equally.

It took me 4 years to get my first divorce. That was partly my fault and partly my first wife's fault. Neither one of us could agree on some things. 

Both of us, lived in the same area. It has to be pursued and done properly, or the divorce might have never gone through. They don't care if you don't get a divorce, just that the children are safe. That, sort of, makes sense and sort of doesn't. I know the children are most important, but it can present a bunch of legal issues.


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## Plaster (Feb 10, 2013)

Wow! 2ntnuf, cheers for this. Having a read now!


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