# I guess I'm over here now...



## Kearson (Jan 18, 2012)

Well, it's 'official'... my husband and I are getting a divorce. I've moved into the guest room, we've already worked out the division of furniture and other property, and everything has gone fairly well so far.

We still have to work out the details of custody and how we will be conducting ourselves from here on out (since I won't be able to move out for quite some time, and I really don't want to have to deal with him 'dating' in front of our son when we aren't even divorced yet). He has acknowledged that we need to talk about it, but it was late last night and he had to get to bed.

He seems to be okay with it. I guess I shouldn't be surprised since he had no interest in working on any of the issues that were bothering me, so it makes sense he'd be okay with divorce.

Now we just have to figure out how to tell my father in law. My husband and son and I live with my father in law. I have no idea how he will react to us divorcing. My father in law has been making improvements to the house ever since my husband and I got married because he intended to leave it to us when he passes so that we wouldn't have to buy a home. I feel bad participating in the choosing of materials for the improvements because I know I won't be here in three years (or maybe even 2 years), but I don't know how to tell him.

A part of me knows it really isn't my place to tell my father in law about the impending divorce. My husband should be the one to tell him. However, I KNOW that my husband doesn't want to do it, and if let to him, he'll wait until the day I move out to say anything. I'm also concerned that if my husband tells him by himself that my husband will make this out to be my fault, and I really don't want that.

After everything he's done for us, I feel my father in law has a right to know what's going on.

Opinions? Should I say something to my father in law? Or should I wait for my husband to do it and hope he doesn't say anything mean about me in the process?


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## I want the kids! (Apr 17, 2012)

Maybe tell your husband you are going to talk to his father and see if you both can do it together.


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## Kearson (Jan 18, 2012)

Well, I ended up having to tell my father in law. We were getting ready for a yard sale and my father in law asking what he should sell his old cookware for (since I just got a brand new set). I told him that maybe he should keep some just in case, and he asked me why, and heaven help me, I had to tell him.

He wasn't surprised. He said "(My son) is self-centered."

My father in law is being very supportive. He's going to tell STBXH that he needs to take his drum set out of the guest room since he never plays it, and I need the room. I told him not to since STBXH will pout about it, and FIL said "Well, he can just get over it."

I am so relieved that FIL is understanding of what I'm going through.


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