# Men please help me on this.



## sunflower (Dec 15, 2008)

This has been eating at me for a long time so I need opinions. I have searched the internet High and Low for someone with a simular situation and cant find anything. I just found out like a month ago that my ex Best Friend kissed my husband in mid sentence he was not expecting it at all. But he did kiss back and it was very short. We were having problems in our marriage back then and she knew that as well cause at the time she was my very best of friend. Well anyways after that she went inside he left with his friend crying about it all. so two months gone by and he was lost as well as I was and we just were waiting for the other to say I am done pretty much. So he decided when they were at our house that to fix this marriage or end the marriage he was going to take manners in his own hands so he asked her when they were alone if she had feelings and she said no. He says well how do you know? She said I just know I love my husband and your wife and kids he says so do I. but maybe we should kiss so you know. she said well I think that you should talk this out with your wife and he said I cant? so she said ok and they did. He said it was awkward and short then after it was done he said nothing she said nothing then she left. Three days later he called her and said he was sorry about that all and it was wrong he loves me and the girls and it wasnt that he had feelings for her it was him figuring out our marriage the weird way he knew how and that he did with her cause she was a friend and would understand. 

What do you think is that weird do you think that he is telling the truth I mean he isnt pushy do you think that he had feelings?
I mean she tried to kiss him a couple months after that and he said no that was all a mistake if he liked her he would have right?
And also by her saying no she didnt have feelings he knew that but kept trying to kiss her anyways like he didnt care what she said he was going to do it? Does that mean something? like he knew she didnt it was for his own reasons?:scratchhead:


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

I think it has one big red flag here. The fact he would put the marriage in jeapordy to test the waters instead of communicating with you.

draconis


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

:iagree:

It also seems like a very immature way to try and gage your feelings for someone else.


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## sunflower (Dec 15, 2008)

so you think that he had feelings or is just dumb when it comes to talking it out with me?


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## sunflower (Dec 15, 2008)

Also the thing is they were friends and have known each other since junior high and he is best friends with her husband I know Nothing would have came about this I am just confused of his mind thought


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

sunflower said:


> so you think that he had feelings or is just dumb when it comes to talking it out with me?



I think you both need to sit down and discuss your marriage.


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## sunflower (Dec 15, 2008)

we have and he is torn about it all and says thats the honest truth that he was figuring our marriage out and had NO feelings for her he said it makese no sense but its all true.


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

You need to convey to him how hurtful it was that he went to another woman to figure out his marriage instead of coming to you. Go to an MC so he can at least be given some communication tools so that it won't happen again. If he trys it again. Seperate from him till he can learn boundaries.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

Initfortheduration said:


> You need to convey to him how hurtful it was that he went to another woman to figure out his marriage instead of coming to you. Go to an MC so he can at least be given some communication tools so that it won't happen again. If he trys it again. Seperate from him till he can learn boundaries.



:iagree:

draconis


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

Sunflower, so I guess that your not sharing your responsibility for the condition of your marriage on this thread either. You asked for help from men on this thread. How can they help or understand what your husband did when you refuse to talk about the strip poker threesome or passing out in a bar both of which preceded your husbands attempt (what seems to be a very half hearted attempt at best) at revenge by kissing one of your friends.


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## sunflower (Dec 15, 2008)

Ya I did not have a threesome with this couple. NOT even close he was hurt. He asked me if I thought that was cheating and well I never really thought about it like that I was pretty quick to dismiss it and say it was nothing when it was something. I got naked with his friends he has known forever was hurt and betrayed by us all. so yes I guess in a way I cheated. BUT not like he did


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## buttercup (Dec 22, 2008)

Sunflower, seems to be he has been sillily titillated by this womans unexpected kiss mid sentence and it has probably set him thinking what if? Human beings can be v. silly and suckers for flattery. Did he tell you about offering the kiss to gage their feelings for each other? Very honest if you ask me. He's been a daft man but essentially nothing has happened. And he has even turned down her advances after this. Make sure he knows that this has been vey painful for you, cut this dreadful woman loose and concentrate on your relationship and moving forward together.:smthumbup:


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