# Facebook's "Secret Messages" Option



## lisamaree (Nov 2, 2014)

Has anyone else heard about Facebook's new "Secret Messages" option?

I thought I would post here because I know many of you (including myself) in an effort to be transparent with a former cheating spouse check messages on Facebook. I don't check often because it's been years since my H's EA but occasionally I do. It really helps me feel like I can trust him again and I feel like if I couldn't do this, I would have a lot of trouble trusting. I don't ever expect to find anything but when I am starting to feel insecure again it helps me to see his activity on Facebook, and he knows I check periodically... But now it seems it's not even a semi-reliable indicator anymore.

I just thought that people who currently suspect an affair or who are like me and use Facebook messages as a form of transparency may like to know that it's not reliable anymore. I'm not sure if there's a way to check if your spouse is using this but thought it would be helpful for some of you.

Facebook's 'Secret Conversations' mode deletes messages for extra security - Oct. 5, 2016


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Nope, one more way for Facebook to help blow up marriages.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

I guess Facebook should have bought A$hley Madis0n for the synergies.:surprise:


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

This literally is making me sick to my stomach...


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## WonkyNinja (Feb 28, 2013)

From a brief look at the article it looks like the "secret" is secret from the messages being intercepted and decoded other than by the two parties involved in the conversation rather than "secret" as in hidden from display on the phone.

Messages can disappear after a certain time like Snapchat, but so what? You have always been able to delete messages or use any of the hundreds of other messaging apps out there so nothing appears to have changed.

Personally I like the idea of being able to send a password or SSN to my wife without any risk of it being intercepted and used.

Edit: There is the option to quickly delete all "secret messages" which I suppose makes deleting specific messages easier, but if someone wants to hide messages there there are hundreds of other ways to do it.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

If two people want to communicate, there are lots of ways to do it. 

Private modes are nice. Without private browsing, I'd never use this site.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Wonder if the keylogger sellers will profit from this....


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## lisamaree (Nov 2, 2014)

WonkyNinja said:


> From a brief look at the article it looks like the "secret" is secret from the messages being intercepted and decoded other than by the two parties involved in the conversation rather than "secret" as in hidden from display on the phone.
> 
> Messages can disappear after a certain time like Snapchat, but so what? You have always been able to delete messages or use any of the hundreds of other messaging apps out there so nothing appears to have changed.
> 
> ...


It is my understanding now looking at the FAQ on Facebook that you can set a specific device (tablet, phone, computer) that you use just for the secret messages. So if you log in on a different device than the one set in the preferences for secret messages, then you can't see the conversation. So if your spouse has a work computer you never have access to, it is possible that you would never be able to recover the messages. I'm not worried about this with my H as he does not have a computer that he can access anything other than sales reports at his job, but I thought other people would like to know about this especially if you are in the middle of gathering evidence.


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## WonkyNinja (Feb 28, 2013)

lisamaree said:


> It is my understanding now looking at the FAQ on Facebook that you can set a specific device (tablet, phone, computer) that you use just for the secret messages. So if you log in on a different device than the one set in the preferences for secret messages, then you can't see the conversation. So if your spouse has a work computer you never have access to, it is possible that you would never be able to recover the messages. I'm not worried about this with my H as he does not have a computer that he can access anything other than sales reports at his job, but I thought other people would like to know about this especially if you are in the middle of gathering evidence.


Yes that's correct. I hadn't looked at it that way. 

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

*Facebook's &quot;Secret Messages&quot; Option*

Sounds like facebook is trying to become relevant again. Most younger people I know of don't use - they use snapchat type apps to do transient picture / text / silliness communications. Their whole means of communication is transient so their generation will be very difficult to track for the future BS


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

tech-novelist said:


> I guess Facebook should have bought A$hley Madis0n for the synergies.:surprise:


Just what I was thinking. FB is becoming more dangerous every day, and I do my best to get everyone I know to stop using it. 

What we have here is a replacement for D0cC00l. 


Sorry Mods...I had to.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

lisamaree said:


> It is my understanding now looking at the FAQ on Facebook that you can set a specific device (tablet, phone, computer) that you use just for the secret messages. So if you log in on a different device than the one set in the preferences for secret messages, then you can't see the conversation. So if your spouse has a work computer you never have access to, it is possible that you would never be able to recover the messages. I'm not worried about this with my H as he does not have a computer that he can access anything other than sales reports at his job, but I thought other people would like to know about this especially if you are in the middle of gathering evidence.


It makes you wonder if there is some darker, sinister force at work in the world...


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Nothing really surprises me anymore.. can't say this does either.. . Facebook is surely upping their profits by keeping in the running of all the latest & greatest apps by introducing this one, which many will be taking advantage of, then arguing it's defense, no less..

Here's a 1 minute video focusing on this aspect... Facebook adds new "secret conversations" - that many say makes cheating easier | KFOR.com

Found this on another link:



> What you need to know:
> 
> * You have to decide which device you want to use secret conversations on as only one device can be used
> * Rich content is not supported, like GIFs, videos or payments - though this could change
> * There is a self-destruct timer you set so the person receiving it can see it for a limited time


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Nothing really surprises me anymore.. can't say this does either.. . Facebook is surely upping their profits by keeping in the running of all the latest & greatest apps by introducing this one, which many will be taking advantage of, then arguing it's defense, no less..
> 
> Here's a 1 minute video focusing on this aspect... Facebook adds new "secret conversations" - that many say makes cheating easier | KFOR.com
> 
> ...


So apparently they are thinking that it won't be just for amateurs. :surprise:


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## Apexmale (Jul 31, 2015)

Facebook doesn't destroy marriages anymore than guns kill people. 

People destroy marriages. We've been doing it for thousands of years. 

Sent from my SM-T337T using Tapatalk


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## happilyindependent (Aug 7, 2015)

Trust me it doesnt matter what peope use. If they want to cheat they will find a way. I was one of those who kept on checking on my husband because I caught him doing something that destroyed my trust for him. Ultimately he is a grown man and it does not matter how much you want to dig on facebook, prepaid phones, passwords on phones if he wants to do it he will do it. I was so concerned with what he was doing to our marriage that I forgot about myself. If a person cheats bottom line they are not worth you wasting your time.

Sent from my SM-N920V using Tapatalk


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## Pam (Oct 7, 2010)

I just skimmed the article, but does it only apply to the Messenger app? I refuse to use that, I go to Facebook through a browser link, and I know a lot of people who do it that way. Messenger seems buggy to me.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Apexmale said:


> Facebook doesn't destroy marriages anymore than guns kill people.
> 
> People destroy marriages. We've been doing it for thousands of years.


 I agree with this 100%, of course...I generally defend Facebook on these sorts of threads actually... we've had it for many years, never had any issues... we're very open about anything happening...like "hey did you see what so & so posted"...Or "hey.. I just got a message from so & so today...." it makes for good conversation even, that's our typical... 

But I still can't deny the statistics...

 Facebook Affairs Statistics

 6 Signs Your Partner Is Facebook-Cheating

Just another reason to be sure to Keep the intimacy alive in one's marriage though...Facebook does UP the opportunities to connect with pretty much anyone...but No....it's not Facebook's fault, the apps fault..it falls on our own behavior, our lack of boundaries.. If someone is looking for an opportunity, they'll find it ....


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

Apexmale said:


> Facebook doesn't destroy marriages anymore than guns kill people.
> 
> People destroy marriages. We've been doing it for thousands of years.
> 
> Sent from my SM-T337T using Tapatalk


Right, but the right tools can certainly make things easier!


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

*Re: Facebook's &quot;Secret Messages&quot; Option*



TheTruthHurts said:


> Sounds like facebook is trying to become relevant again. Most younger people I know of don't use - they use snapchat type apps to do transient picture / text / silliness communications. Their whole means of communication is transient so their generation will be very difficult to track for the future BS
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Younger people, oddly enough, are not the target demographic of Facebook any more. Well, they're one of them, but not THE target.

Once those folks grow up and get a little older, they start using it. The 15-25 demographic doesn't have the attention span for something like FB, but they will as they age. And especially when friends graduate college and move around the world. FB is really designed for keeping in touch with people, as well as documenting one's life. That age group has wised up to this, and many don't WANT to document their young and dumb years any more. Once they settle down, they jump on (or back on to) FB.

I would take a guess and say that most FB users fall into the 35-60 age range. Those who see it as a valuable tool to keep in touch with family and friends, share photos of children and grandchildren, weddings, etc. It's the modern day equivalent to the old twice-yearly family letter, to many people.


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