# How do you live with your STBX?



## Serenity_Prayer (Oct 31, 2012)

STBX will be moving out, probably the week after Christmas, so another 6 weeks or so to go, which will end up being 8-10 weeks of living together after deciding to divorce. On some levels, I want to scream "get the @#$#$ out of my house!", but other times, I figure I can handle it because I've been faking harmony for years. We've got two kids so we have to get along, which hasn't been hard, but it's a balancing act to have just the right amount of harmony and boundary. I have thought about things I want to do in the house -rearrange furniture, paint, etc, but feel like I'm in a holding pattern until he's out. In our case, no OMs or OWs to worry about, as far as I know, although I don't really care anymore. Moving day can't come soon enough for me!


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## soca70 (Oct 30, 2012)

I'm in the same boat as we're targeting mid-Dec (just in time for Christmas!) after the bomb dropped end of Sept. She has a rental house as of 11/1 that she works at during the day (we both have home offices) but comes home for dinner/bath/bedtime with the kids and sleeps in the guest bedroom. We've both been doing evening activities more so one of us is usually gone for dinner now as an avoidance measure. I guess we're faking it for the kids. 

I put the stop on family outings/church/etc as I said why pretend at this point. Half the time I'm like "Get the he!! out" and the other half I can pretend she'll change her mind as long as she's here at night. Hurts to see random objects like trash cans, sets of dishes, etc disappear and migrate to the rental though.


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## Serenity_Prayer (Oct 31, 2012)

It's also confusing as all get-out because sometimes he shows signs of the kind, loving guy I married years ago. Then he does the Jekyll & Hyde thing and I remember why we're divorcing. It's hard to be "friends" with someone when you put limits on it and are working to get them out of your life.


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## BigMac (Oct 29, 2012)

Serenity_Prayer said:


> It's also confusing as all get-out because sometimes he shows signs of the kind, loving guy I married years ago.


I he is consistent like this would you "take" him back ?

I'm in the same basket as you but no kids . We're getting along great , no issue no fights almost like happily married couple except there is OM on the horizon !


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## lostinspaces (Oct 22, 2012)

Both of you should just keep one thing in mind one thing: if they've done this to you once they could do it again. If you manage to R there is always the possibility that you are sitting in this same boat again X years from now. 

This is what I keep reminding myself of as I work to move on. That I'd rather move on now, than R and have her to this to me 5, 10, whatever years from now.


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

with great difficulty - he was there for a month after we had the talk and it was a bloody nightmare. But as you say, if you've been pretending for a while it isn't so bad - he slept on the sofa, did his own laundry and cooking and it went in no time. The day he dropped his key back through my letterbox was a great day


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