# Need support, feel like am losing myslef.💔



## jamew5017 (11 mo ago)

17 years marriage gone the drain. This was my first marriage which I just knew this was my soulmate. I admit to not supporting like I should in the marriage which I was fighting addiction at the time. Chasing a feeling of healing from past trauma lead to destruction. I eventually got helped and still cleaned till this day which make it 8 years cleaned. I also joined church got baptized but this still didn't stop evil from lurking toward me. I raised her child from 6 months to 17 years as my own with love and he turned on me .we got into a fight because he didnt want to listen and his dad came to get him just so he wouldn't go to jail. His dad is a deadbeat and never showed up in his life. I was that father figure, even when I had my blood son I loved him But it hurt me mentally after the fight I was stuck and since I hurted my back I couldn't work like I could and was laid off . But 6 months down she got frustrated and told me just won't out and she want her son home. That she couldn't do us anymore. How someone lose love like that. As I was in the process of building ,she knocked it all down. So now am in a place that I just dont get why nice people get hurt all the time. I spoiled her in ways that most men wouldn't do like laundry , dishes,etc and I worked as well. But I guess I wasnt good enough after she got done with college and start a business which I supported her in both. She had assignments due and I would help her finish. Staying up late completing her work after she fell asleep. I was the type I would do anything for her. She had covid when it was still new and I didnt but I still stayed in the room to be her support no matter if I get it or not. I loved strong and hard .I want my family back but it's no return .


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I'm sorry you're losing your family. I have to ask, the fight you had with the 17-year-old, was it physical or just yelling? 17-year-olds are at an age where they very often do not listen. But I'm just wondering if you got into a physical fight because then I could understand why she reacted how she did.

I congratulate you on 8 years sober or straight. Please don't let this make you backslide on that. You will get through this as long as you don't go off the rails here. And no one knows what the future might bring. If you raise that boy I seriously doubt he's completely done talking to you but it might be a while.

I'm sorry you've got a bad back. I hope you can find something you can do that doesn't bother your back. Maybe just driving Uber or delivering for doordash which is mostly light work.

Just don't go off the rails here. I can hear the sadness in your words. It'll be rough here for a while but don't make it worse on yourself. It can only get better.


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## redmarshall (11 mo ago)

jamew5017 said:


> 17 years marriage gone the drain. This was my first marriage which I just knew this was my soulmate. I admit to not supporting like I should in the marriage which I was fighting addiction at the time. Chasing a feeling of healing from past trauma lead to destruction. I eventually got helped and still cleaned till this day which make it 8 years cleaned. I also joined church got baptized but this still didn't stop evil from lurking toward me. I raised her child from 6 months to 17 years as my own with love and he turned on me .we got into a fight because he didnt want to listen and his dad came to get him just so he wouldn't go to jail. His dad is a deadbeat and never showed up in his life. I was that father figure, even when I had my blood son I loved him But it hurt me mentally after the fight I was stuck and since I hurted my back I couldn't work like I could and was laid off . But 6 months down she got frustrated and told me just won't out and she want her son home. That she couldn't do us anymore. How someone lose love like that. As I was in the process of building ,she knocked it all down. So now am in a place that I just dont get why nice people get hurt all the time. I spoiled her in ways that most men wouldn't do like laundry , dishes,etc and I worked as well. But I guess I wasnt good enough after she got done with college and start a business which I supported her in both. She had assignments due and I would help her finish. Staying up late completing her work after she fell asleep. I was the type I would do anything for her. She had covid when it was still new and I didnt but I still stayed in the room to be her support no matter if I get it or not. I loved strong and hard .I want my family back but it's no return .


You're hurting, and it comes across in what your written. However, I will say this, there is no way to mess with free will, you can make her care for you. You can only take responsibility for your own actions. You loved her, and you know that, and you can be proud of that. If its one things I've learnt, that when people you love don't support you when you need it most, they are probably undeserving of the love and attention you've showered on them. In a way, you can be glad you found out sooner rather than later. I hope each day gets you feeling less and less hurt, and you can move forward and rebuild yourself and your life.


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

It sucks I know.

These are the perils of dating singles mothers.

If she goes, the kids go too and you likely never see them again. Double or triple the heartache. It doesnt matter what you did for them or that you raised then for 15 years.

Being a nice guy man-servant doesn't get us guys anywhere either. No matter what you've done for her, if she sees a better option she'll jump.

She saw you as an injured addict with no job and found a better option. It's the cold hard truth and it sucks. A lot of us have been there. The best preventative medicine is always being the best man we can be, always being her best option, and never showing weakness.


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