# The way she reply back to me



## Ricky2424 (Jul 23, 2012)

Hello,
Wife and I went to a fast food place. I went inside to place my order. When I got back into the car. She ask me how much it cost and i told her. Then I said I could have got it cheaper if you didnt throw out the coupons. She replied back with... YOU SUCH AN ASS!! I ask her why she called me an ass. She said I ask you if you wanted the coupons and you said to throw them away.. Well I forgot all about telling her to throw the coupons away... My complaint was the way she replied back to me by saying YOU SUCK AN ASS.. I felt she could have replied back in a much nicer manor. But kept saying i was the ass and mean one.. So was I in the wrong ??
Thanks, 
Ricky


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Quit going to fast food places.


Next time she disrespects you tell her its not acceptable. And mean it!


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

tell me is this kind of conversation an outlier or the norm. the under tones between you two, if what you write is correct suggest hostility on her or both of your parts.


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

If my husband had told me he didn't want the coupons and then blamed me for the price of his meal because I threw away the coupons, I would definitely be bothered.

I wouldn't call him a swear word, but I would remind him that he told me to throw them away. If he persisted, I might call him a jerk in my head.

Do you always snap at her and blame her like that? Maybe she is tired of it.

If the two of you, (that includes you) don't start to treat each other with more respect, your marriage will continue to be eroded until you can't stand each other and one of you asks for a divorce.


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## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

I suggest growing a little backbone because truth be told you were a little bit of an ass.

You kind of blamed her for throwing away coupons you threw away.

She called you an ass. It's cool to write her response in block capitals which means she must have screamed/shouted it right? I take it the way you talked to her was measured and cool without a hint of snark?

Move on, and next time don't throw away coupons


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## FalCod (Dec 6, 2017)

Try being nice to her. Maybe she'll be nice to you.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Your passive aggressive comment started it.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Ricky2424 said:


> Hello,
> Wife and I went to a fast food place. I went inside to place my order. When I got back into the car. She ask me how much it cost and i told her. Then I said I could have got it cheaper if you didnt throw out the coupons. She replied back with... YOU SUCH AN ASS!! I ask her why she called me an ass. She said I ask you if you wanted the coupons and you said to throw them away.. Well I forgot all about telling her to throw the coupons away... My complaint was the way she replied back to me by saying YOU SUCK AN ASS.. I felt she could have replied back in a much nicer manor. But kept saying i was the ass and mean one.. So was I in the wrong ??
> Thanks,
> Ricky


Why didn’t you save the coupons yourself. And how much would you have saved anyway,was it worth all the drama.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Is this the same wife that wouldn’t have sex with you and had a two year affair?


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

First, apologize to her for your childish little passive-aggressive retort. See where it goes from there.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Ricky2424 said:


> Hello,
> 
> Wife and I went to a fast food place. I went inside to place my order. When I got back into the car. She ask me how much it cost and i told her. Then I said I could have got it cheaper if you didnt throw out the coupons. She replied back with... YOU SUCH AN ASS!! I ask her why she called me an ass. She said I ask you if you wanted the coupons and you said to throw them away.. Well I forgot all about telling her to throw the coupons away... My complaint was the way she replied back to me by saying YOU SUCK AN ASS.. I felt she could have replied back in a much nicer manor. But kept saying i was the ass and mean one.. So was I in the wrong ??
> 
> ...




Depends of you suck an ass or if you ARE an ass.
Maybe both of you just wait 5 seconds and think before you talk to each other?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

If this is the biggest problem you have in your marriage, take your wife out to a super swanky dinner at a very high end establishment. Dine on the exquisite seafood from Red Lobster, or the best of the best Italian from Olive Garden, to celebrate. 

You can even slip your waiter a coupon while your grumpy wife isn't looking, (so you don't seem like too much of a cheapskate).


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## Keke24 (Sep 2, 2016)

Ricky2424 said:


> Hello,
> Wife and I went to a fast food place. I went inside to place my order. When I got back into the car. She ask me how much it cost and i told her. Then I said I could have got it cheaper if you didnt throw out the coupons. She replied back with... YOU SUCH AN ASS!! I ask her why she called me an ass. She said I ask you if you wanted the coupons and you said to throw them away.. Well I forgot all about telling her to throw the coupons away... My complaint was the way she replied back to me by saying YOU SUCK AN ASS.. I felt she could have replied back in a much nicer manor. But kept saying i was the ass and mean one.. So was I in the wrong ??
> Thanks,
> Ricky


Yes she was wrong, so were you. Don't get caught up in who's "more wrong". If each person waits on the other to own their contribution to the problem, you'll end up waiting a longggg time to resolve issues and you'll build up resentment in that process which will add another dynamic on top of an existing problem. So yes you were in the wrong, yes she was also in the wrong, yes your comment initiated a disagreement, yes she could have responded better. 

More importantly, what are you going to do about it?


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

To be fair, you sort of started this fight over a couple bucks at most.


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## Ricky2424 (Jul 23, 2012)

chillymorn69 said:


> Quit going to fast food places.
> 
> 
> Next time she disrespects you tell her its not acceptable. And mean it!


 I told her many times she could reply back in a nicer manner.


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## Ricky2424 (Jul 23, 2012)

Lostinthought61 said:


> tell me is this kind of conversation an outlier or the norm. the under tones between you two, if what you write is correct suggest hostility on her or both of your parts.


Sadly to tell but that is her normal type of conversation.


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## Ricky2424 (Jul 23, 2012)

Araucaria said:


> If my husband had told me he didn't want the coupons and then blamed me for the price of his meal because I threw away the coupons, I would definitely be bothered.
> 
> I wouldn't call him a swear word, but I would remind him that he told me to throw them away. If he persisted, I might call him a jerk in my head.
> 
> ...


That would have been nice if she just reminding me in a nice way that I made a mistake.. And Yes, i do blame her for things but not on purpose. Many of times I forget and then I end up blaming her.


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## Ricky2424 (Jul 23, 2012)

BobSimmons said:


> I suggest growing a little backbone because truth be told you were a little bit of an ass.
> 
> You kind of blamed her for throwing away coupons you threw away.
> 
> ...


Yes,, she screamed it, thats why i typed it in capital letters. And Yes i was calm and cool when I excused her.


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

Irregardless of how she responded to you, you owe her an apology for blaming her for throwing away the coupons.

It is not too late to bring up the issue to apologize to her. Don't bring up her behavior, let your apology stand alone. After you have proven over time and several times that you have integrity enough to apologize, then you might begin to address her part (yelling and name calling.)

Model the right behavior to her. Say, "I apologize I blamed you for throwing away the coupons when I asked you to do it myself."

She is probably not used to apologies from you, and will light into you some more. Just stick to your guns, and tell her, "I've apologized and I mean it. You don't have to forgive me, but I am owning my part. I understand your frustration. I'm sorry for causing that too."

If she keeps yelling at you, tell her, "I've apologized for what I did and for how I made you feel. I can't do any more than that. I do't have to stand here and take your abuse." Then walk away.

Keep owing your part when you treat her badly. Keep modeling authenticity and don't take abuse. Maybe she will catch on, or maybe you will have to explain what you are doing to change.


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## Ricky2424 (Jul 23, 2012)

Thanks all for your replies and advice... I went ahead and told her sorry.


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

Ricky2424 said:


> Thanks all for your replies and advice... I went ahead and told her sorry.


Good for you!


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