# Mens thoughts VS Womens Thoughts..



## sunflower (Dec 15, 2008)

So I went to this sober party this weekend for my H cousin. Very cool he is doing great! So I got talking to these three guys that were there and well it was VERY interesting to hear a mans thoughts vs a womens thoughts on cheating. its crazy for a man they were saying it was differant for them to go out and have a one nighter come home and not feel guilty cause they love there spouse and that was nothing. But if there spouse did it then its done over sick. Hmm??? I brought up our cheat situation and I was looked at like I was crazy lol that what he did was really kinda normal? And well they could see were what I did was just as bad? INTERESTING? Guess its true that men are from mars and women are from venus. LOL


----------



## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

Sorry, but even as a man, a "one night stand" is still cheating, no matter who does it.

Those guys are retards, except for the part of your strip poker being just as bad as his kissing, they were right on that one thing.

Other than that they were retarded. 

Now, is a lasting PA with an EA "worse" than a one night stand? Probably, but that doesn't mean the one night stand wasn't cheating.


----------



## sunflower (Dec 15, 2008)

I know I was like wow when they are telling me about all the things that there wifes dont know I was blown away. POS was what I was thinking lol. But ya they are right what I did wasnt any better worst then what he did duh I am stupid...


----------



## moogvo (Dec 21, 2008)

Men have to do this "Cave Man" thing and put up a tough guy appearance to their friends. Kinda like the guys at the fire station farting, belching and grabbing their crotch... NONE of them go home and act that way.

I think guys just do that in front of their friends to be "cool"... so to speak.

It is absolutely unacceptable for anyone to cheat. There is no justification and it is no less cheating no matter who is doing it.

~Moog


----------



## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

Its ok, as long as you are not willing to admit that and forgive him for what he did and he has forgiven you for what you did, you guys will be just fine.


----------



## sunflower (Dec 15, 2008)

I know we will! sometimes I want to go hug my ex best friend and say thanks! you actually did me a favor!


----------



## sunflower (Dec 15, 2008)

moogvo said:


> Men have to do this "Cave Man" thing and put up a tough guy appearance to their friends. Kinda like the guys at the fire station farting, belching and grabbing their crotch... NONE of them go home and act that way.
> 
> I think guys just do that in front of their friends to be "cool"... so to speak.
> 
> ...




for sure 100% I stepped out first then him. He took it as I am not taking him seriously or or marriage. And I wasnt into him. I think that he wanted attention and wanted to be wanted.


----------



## stoney1215 (Jun 18, 2012)

sunflower said:


> So I went to this sober party this weekend for my H cousin. Very cool he is doing great! So I got talking to these three guys that were there and well it was VERY interesting to hear a mans thoughts vs a womens thoughts on cheating. its crazy for a man they were saying it was differant for them to go out and have a one nighter come home and not feel guilty cause they love there spouse and that was nothing. But if there spouse did it then its done over sick. Hmm??? I brought up our cheat situation and I was looked at like I was crazy lol that what he did was really kinda normal? And well they could see were what I did was just as bad? INTERESTING? Guess its true that men are from mars and women are from venus. LOL


men are taught that the value sex has is based on how much and how many girls and how good you are at it . women are taught that the value sex has is by not giving it away , saving it and giving it to someone special . 

how that relates is men are taught that sex does not give any meaning to a woman . a woman gives meaning to sex . a woman is taught that you give your most prized posession which is sex to a guy and that guy is special . but both men and women view cheating the same way .

men say if they cheat she doesnt mean anything that its just sex . and women usually have a bigger problem with the woman than they do with their husband . thats because she is the ***** who is giving making her husband special by giving him sex . the same way she did . when a woman cheats a they usually do it with one person it becomes more than just a booty call. the man wants to kill the guy but he is much much more hurt by his wife giving her special value to someone else . 

the reality is that men have the right view about what sex really is . men and woman can have sex with a complete stranger and it can be amazing and that person does not mean anything to them at all . so sex really doesnt give meaning to the person . for both men and women when they are having sex with someone they love its not just sex it is emotions and feeling and it has meaning . it doesnt have anything to do with the sex . all of that stuff comes from the how you feel about thae person . when you love someone they make sex with them mean something to you . 

cheating on your partner isnt about sex . it is about betraying your partners trust , and striping all worth out of your partners time and effort and love that they gave to you . that is why any man who really loves his woman would never cheat on her . sex is not worth betraying the woman i love and ruining they trust and time we both have invested in each other . women and men both cheat for the same reason . they have lost respect , and love for their partner . 

men and women are both from earth . the problem is we are taught 2 completely different languages . once we learn how to speak each other language we start learning how to understand each other . 

society messes women up from the day they are born . once we fix women things will be easy . i can prove its women who are messed up . most women do not like women and dont have many women friends . most women prefer being friends with men . most men dont want to be friends with women and all men love having other men as friends . 

both men and women dont like women . both men and women like men .


----------



## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

I agree with parts of your post stoney but disagree with other parts. Women are no more messed up in their thinking then men. Sure a lot of women may feel sex is special and should only be given to that special man but in the same note... men feel they are entitled to it whenever, whereever, and however they want. Both lines of thinking can be messed up. I do agree that cheating is about betraying, stripping all worth out of the relationship, and lack of respect for ones spouse. 

Not all women like men.. in fact there are women out there who like women and hate men and men who like women and hate other men. Both genders have an entitlement thing going on which screws up some relationships. Some take the... specialness too far and make their man jump through hoops for it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

> society messes women up from the day they are born . once we fix women things will be easy . i can prove its women who are messed up . most women do not like women and dont have many women friends . most women prefer being friends with men . most men dont want to be friends with women and all men love having other men as friends .
> 
> both men and women dont like women . both men and women like men .


I laughed hard when i read this:lol:


----------



## NatashaYurino (Jan 2, 2012)

stoney1215 said:


> the reality is that men have the right view about what sex really is . men and woman can have sex with a complete stranger and it can be amazing and that person does not mean anything to them at all . so sex really doesnt give meaning to the person . for both men and women when they are having sex with someone they love its not just sex it is emotions and feeling and it has meaning . it doesnt have anything to do with the sex . all of that stuff comes from the how you feel about thae person . when you love someone they make sex with them mean something to you.


You just took the words right out of my mouth!!! I have always thought this, that both men and women can have sex with someone and have it be just sex and nothing else. 

That's why I have always hated that old "theory" some men have that a man's infidelity is always less severe than a woman's because for him it only sex, but for her it probably meant more, because since she is a woman she's bound to "give" her heart away to the other man only because they slept together.


----------



## stoney1215 (Jun 18, 2012)

Gaia said:


> I agree with parts of your post stoney but disagree with other parts. Women are no more messed up in their thinking then men. Sure a lot of women may feel sex is special and should only be given to that special man but in the same note... men feel they are entitled to it whenever, whereever, and however they want. Both lines of thinking can be messed up. I do agree that cheating is about betraying, stripping all worth out of the relationship, and lack of respect for ones spouse.
> 
> Not all women like men.. in fact there are women out there who like women and hate men and men who like women and hate other men. Both genders have an entitlement thing going on which screws up some relationships. Some take the... specialness too far and make their man jump through hoops for it.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



i did not say all women or all men i said most . that is definitely true . women can have sex when ever they want to , how ever they want to , and as often as they want to , and in many cases with who ever they want to . why should men not have the same ? the truth is that women enjoy , and want to have sex as much as men . women deny their own sexual needs and desires because they are afraid to be a ***** or **** . 

its not men that make women *****s and ****s . it is other women . when a woman sees another woman dressed in next to nothing or having a sexual event with a couple of guys they call her a **** and a ***** . women constantly have sex with their best friends man . and women talk behind their friends back constantly . when a woman calls another woman a **** or a ***** for something she does she is setting limits on what she herself can do without thinking that she herself is a ***** . 

men rarely sleep with their friend girl . is is against man code . when men see a guy with 4 girls on his arm we say good for him . we dont talk **** behind our friends back , we say it to their face get it out maybe get in a fight , shake hands , drink a beer and go on about our friendship with respect for each other . and men are not slets or *****s for one reason . we think it is a good thing when we have sex with a bunch of different women or do a 3some , etc ..... women are because they think it is a bad thing to have sex . which all women do any way . but they hide it and are ashamed of it and think badly about themselves for doing what 99% of people on this planet do . and enjoy doing . 

and like i said both men and women would rather be friends and hang out with guys than girls . even girls dont like girls says loud and clear that girls are ****ed up in their head by society . you cant fix it until you admit that it is broken .


----------



## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

That may be your view stoney but I know quite a few men who have slept with their "buddies" gal... two being my brothers. Man code? May exist for some like sisterhood exists for some women but its not true of as many as you would think. Yes there are women who are back stabbing, manipulative, decietful, shyt talking bytches but this is true for men as well. Some men don't look at so called playas as cool... some shake their heads and think its a damn shame. 

Not all women are ashamed to go around being playas themselves... so again I have to disagree with you a bit lol. I don't really like generalizations too much since everyone is different. What I do agree with is there is something broken that needs fixing... but its not just one line of thinking. 

As a woman... I can honestly say... I don't mind chatting with men or women from time to time.. however I prefer the company of my spouse over all else. I'm not really a people person as I tend to feel crowded and overwhelmed regardless of the gender if its anyone but my spouse or kids. I can honestly say this too... I don't hate men nor do I hate women. 

The mudslinging has more to do with morals imo then with gender.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

*slaps forehead* no.... standards.... moral standards..... but those ar actually not as widespread anymore as they used to be so I do agree with you there that it does have an effect. Excuse me if I'm not making much sense.... I have a bit of insomnia... :/
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## stoney1215 (Jun 18, 2012)

Gaia said:


> That may be your view stoney but I know quite a few men who have slept with their "buddies" gal... two being my brothers. Man code? May exist for some like sisterhood exists for some women but its not true of as many as you would think. Yes there are women who are back stabbing, manipulative, decietful, shyt talking bytches but this is true for men as well. Some men don't look at so called playas as cool... some shake their heads and think its a damn shame.
> 
> Not all women are ashamed to go around being playas themselves... so again I have to disagree with you a bit lol. I don't really like generalizations too much since everyone is different. What I do agree with is there is something broken that needs fixing... but its not just one line of thinking.
> 
> ...



i am 38 years old and have spent most of my life around men and i have not once ever met or even heard of a guy who ever said that they ever heard of a guy who knew a guy that thought having sex with alot of women was a dam shame or even anything remotely close to that . of course i do not know all men so im quite sure that it is possible that there is one guy out there who said it . but im pretty sure you would have a better chance of finding BIGFOOT . and FYI what a womans boyfriend or husband says he thinks is not what he says when he is with his friends ..... and i will guarantee that that is every man not just most .
one of my best friends is a woman . coincidentally she just so happens to be the only woman who has the same interestst that i do . 
i did not say it doesnt happen i said it rarely happens . the reason is simple guy will lose all of their friends for that . not just the one who s girl he was with . and again i did not say all women prefer men friends i said the majority . 

there are around 400 million people in the us . of course i am using generalizations . but the jist and the point i am making is true . 

i believe women are more than deciding for themselves who what when where and why they have sex . i am a firm believer in women not letting other people determine their self worth . i also think it is rediculous to think that a woman is somehow la different person just because she chooses to have sex with 4 guys at once . only an immature , insecure , child could posibly think like that . and it just so happens that alot of men think like that. the only woman a guy will call a ***** is a girl that he has no shot of having sex with . if he thinks he has a chance he wouldnt say something that stupid and ruin his chances.


----------



## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Rarely? It happened quite often where I grew up. You would think that... but a lot of women I know do let others determine their self worth. Then again a lot of people I've hung out with around my age were very immature. Some still are.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## stoney1215 (Jun 18, 2012)

stoney1215 said:


> i am 38 years old and have spent most of my life around men and i have not once ever met or even heard of a guy who ever said that they ever heard of a guy who knew a guy that thought having sex with alot of women was a dam shame or even anything remotely close to that . of course i do not know all men so im quite sure that it is possible that there is one guy out there who said it . but im pretty sure you would have a better chance of finding BIGFOOT . and FYI what a womans boyfriend or husband says he thinks is not what he says when he is with his friends ..... and i will guarantee that that is every man not just most .
> one of my best friends is a woman . coincidentally she just so happens to be the only woman who has the same interestst that i do .
> i did not say it doesnt happen i said it rarely happens . the reason is simple guy will lose all of their friends for that . not just the one who s girl he was with . and again i did not say all women prefer men friends i said the majority .
> 
> ...





Gaia said:


> *slaps forehead* no.... standards.... moral standards..... but those ar actually not as widespread anymore as they used to be so I do agree with you there that it does have an effect. Excuse me if I'm not making much sense.... I have a bit of insomnia... :/
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



the problem with morals is they are a matter of opinion not fact so what is moral to someone is definitely not moral to someone else . for instance i am not religious at all . i believe that it os only wrong to do something that knowing causes harm to someone else , and to do something against someone will . as long as your actions do not cause others harm , or infringe on someone else against ther will you can do what ever you want to do . there may be exceptions here and there but that is my belief . how can something that you choose to do that does not effect anyone ese be wrong or immoral for you to do ? it cant be ?


----------



## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

You would think so huh? Like you stated though.. a lot of it has to do with societies standards... ie group mentality. If a certain group has a set of standards or morals... even if they are just opinion.... they sometimes make it law and fact and try to force it upon others.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Tony55 (Jun 8, 2012)

sunflower said:


> So I went to this sober party this weekend for my H cousin. Very cool he is doing great! So I got talking to these three guys that were there and well it was VERY interesting to hear a mans thoughts vs a womens thoughts on cheating. its crazy for a man they were saying it was differant for them to go out and have a one nighter come home and not feel guilty cause they love there spouse and that was nothing. But if there spouse did it then its done over sick. Hmm??? I brought up our cheat situation and I was looked at like I was crazy lol that what he did was really kinda normal? And well they could see were what I did was just as bad? INTERESTING? Guess its true that men are from mars and women are from venus. LOL


The general belief has been, in the past, that a man can "hit it and quit it" and that a woman, being more in tune with their feelings, need an emotional bond to have sex with a man. So, I suppose the thinking is/was that a man could do it and not give it another thought, but a woman would not be able to. Thus, her's is worse.

Of course, that isn't necessarily true, we now seem to understand that men can get just as emotionally attached to a woman when having sex with her and we also now know that *woman can be just as much of a dog as men* when it comes to having sex; women seem to be quite capable of emotionless one night stands. (Or at least that's what some of the most "liberated" ones want us to believe.)

Either way, having affairs, when one is married, is equally wrong and being in a debate about which is worse only means the participants don't fully grasp the concept of marriage.

T


----------



## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

stoney1215 said:


> i did not say all women or all men i said most . that is definitely true . women can have sex when ever they want to , how ever they want to , and as often as they want to , and in many cases with who ever they want to . why should men not have the same ? the truth is that women enjoy , and want to have sex as much as men . women deny their own sexual needs and desires because they are afraid to be a ***** or **** .


I don't think this is true at all. The reason I don't have sex with multiple men, whenever I feel like it, is because sex means something to me. Yes women are taught sex should mean something, however less and less these days.

Not only that biologically sex does mean something to both men and women, hormones are released and so is oxytocin when you have sex and orgasm, this leads to you bonding to the person you have sex with.

The answer is not to just have sex with anyone, to suit some people, the answer is to value the person you are with and to have a great sexual relationship with them.



> > its not men that make women *****s and ****s . it is other women . when a woman sees another woman dressed in next to nothing or having a sexual event with a couple of guys they call her a **** and a ***** . women constantly have sex with their best friends man . and women talk behind their friends back constantly . when a woman calls another woman a **** or a ***** for something she does she is setting limits on what she herself can do without thinking that she herself is a ***** .
> 
> 
> Disagree, it's definitely both, many many times in my life I have heard men and young boys, calling women ****s and *****s.
> ...


----------



## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Still with an ONS you risk
1. STDs
2. Pregnancy
3. a psycho partner who doesn't know when to quit.

Just when you thought it was only going to last one night......


----------



## stoney1215 (Jun 18, 2012)

*LittleDeer* said:


> I don't think this is true at all. The reason I don't have sex with multiple men, whenever I feel like it, is because sex means something to me. Yes women are taught sex should mean something, however less and less these days.
> 
> Not only that biologically sex does mean something to both men and women, hormones are released and so is oxytocin when you have sex and orgasm, this leads to you bonding to the person you have sex with.
> 
> ...


----------



## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

> Of course, that isn't necessarily true, we now seem to understand that men can get just as emotionally attached to a woman when having sex with her and we also now know that woman can be just as much of a dog as men when it comes to having sex; women seem to be quite capable of emotionless one night stands.


Sorry, but i'm calling BS on that one. Statistically the number of men who get emotionally attached to a woman just because he used his penis on her is vestigial. Also, the number of women who will have no strings sex is also tiny compared to the number of men who are willing to do it. Sexes are in no way similar in this. 

The range of human behavior allows for genders acting similar but once you look at the numbers you'll see that there is a huge difference.


----------



## Tony55 (Jun 8, 2012)

costa200 said:


> Sorry, but i'm calling BS on that one. Statistically the number of men who get emotionally attached to a woman just because he used his penis on her is vestigial. Also, the number of women who will have no strings sex is also tiny compared to the number of men who are willing to do it. Sexes are in no way similar in this.
> 
> The range of human behavior allows for genders acting similar but once you look at the numbers you'll see that there is a huge difference.


You left off the all important sentence at the end of that quote...

_"Of course, that isn't necessarily true, we now seem to understand that men can get just as emotionally attached to a woman when having sex with her and we also now know that woman can be just as much of a dog as men when it comes to having sex; women seem to be quite capable of emotionless one night stands.* (Or at least that's what some of the most "liberated" ones want us to believe.)*"_​
;-)
T


----------



## gemjo (Aug 24, 2012)

revitalizedhusband said:


> Sorry, but even as a man, a "one night stand" is still cheating, no matter who does it.
> 
> Those guys are retards, except for the part of your strip poker being just as bad as his kissing, they were right on that one thing.
> 
> ...


I have wanted to ask this question so often. I personally feel a ONS is a lesser cheat than a PA or even an EA , but yes it is still cheating and a massive betrayal to a spouse.

The only difference is nothing was 'ongoing' but would it have been if given the opportunity? I think a ONS is potentially the start of a PA but for whatever reason they never meet again, or one or the other isn't up for more. Either way it's a betrayal.

I have kind of dealt with ONS situation, not sure how I'd react to a PA, or an EM.


----------



## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

Tony55 said:


> You left off the all important sentence at the end of that quote...
> 
> _"Of course, that isn't necessarily true, we now seem to understand that men can get just as emotionally attached to a woman when having sex with her and we also now know that woman can be just as much of a dog as men when it comes to having sex; women seem to be quite capable of emotionless one night stands.* (Or at least that's what some of the most "liberated" ones want us to believe.)*"_​
> ;-)
> T


Damn, how did i not read that? Must be getting old


----------



## Loveandpizza (Sep 8, 2012)

sunflower said:


> So I went to this sober party this weekend for my H cousin. Very cool he is doing great! So I got talking to these three guys that were there and well it was VERY interesting to hear a mans thoughts vs a womens thoughts on cheating. its crazy for a man they were saying it was differant for them to go out and have a one nighter come home and not feel guilty cause they love there spouse and that was nothing. But if there spouse did it then its done over sick. Hmm??? I brought up our cheat situation and I was looked at like I was crazy lol that what he did was really kinda normal? And well they could see were what I did was just as bad? INTERESTING? Guess its true that men are from mars and women are from venus. LOL


It is hard to tell exactely. I think this is an isolated incident. They could be just saying she for a reaction or to mess with you also.


----------



## Vanguard (Jul 27, 2011)

Your avatar is from the original hardback cover of Cold Mountain by Charles Frazier.


----------

