# When do I tell wife I am moving out?



## BlueDragon (Feb 4, 2013)

I've already spoken to a lawyer and he is generating separation papers. I've already found myself an apartment and I can move into it on April 27th.

So when should I tell the wife I am moving out? Do I tell her on the 27th or should I tell her sooner.

I've heard reason's to tell her sooner and also later. 

If I tell her sooner, she could say leave now, and I've got no place to go until 27th.
If I tell her later on the day I leave. It almost seems wrong dropping such a bomb on her.

Any advice from anyone who's gone through this would be appreciated.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

She likely can't kick you out earlier. Talk to your lawyer about your situation, though. 

But does she know that things are dire enough that this is a possibility? Are you being responsible for your common financial commitments?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Btw... Fwiw, I told my wife in November a few years ago that I wanted out if the marriage. But I stayed at home till February because of the holidays and a minor surgery my wife had booked, and I stayed till she was recovered. So she knew well in advance. We only told the kids on a Saturday, and I moved out on the Sunday evening. That was under the advice of our MC. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BlueDragon (Feb 4, 2013)

She knows things have been different between us for the past few months.

I've already got a separate checking account and have split my paycheck.
2/3's of it goes into the joint account
1/3 goes into my new checking

She ran out of check's for the joint account so when I re-ordered then I removed my name from them already.

We've not had sex in over 3-4 months.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Yes, she might know things are different but that doesn't necessarily mean she's prepared for the news you about to give her. It's never easy to have that conversation. I would say split the difference between telling her now and telling her just before you walk out the door.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Sorry, but telling her the day you move out is a coward's way out, especially if she "just knows something is different". I say tell her soon, and remember she can't kick you out of the house (again, consult your lawyer first). 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

She'll eventually notice you've gone and figure it out. You haven't had sex in four months? If that's her choice, she's already left.


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

BlueDragon said:


> She knows things have been different between us for the past few months.
> 
> I've already got a separate checking account and have split my paycheck.
> 2/3's of it goes into the joint account
> ...


That's because, more than likely, you are trying to be faithful to other woman, a Chinese with 1 child, that you plan to move in with.


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

You can't really correct your screwed up scheduling of events.

Typical schedule would be:

Marriage not great
Counseling
Separation - Moving Out
Divorce
Start dating

You have it as:

Marriage not great
Start Dating
Separation - Move Out
Divorce

No real way of fixing your scheduling issue


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