# Can't stand the thought of him single...



## stillINshock (Apr 9, 2009)

Can anyone relate to this? My H has had affairs - its complicated - but I'm holding on. And when I go through my list of pros/cons one of the most powerful emotions i have, and reasons for not leaving him, is because I can't stand the thought of him being with someone else. I've already experienced it. It kills me. And I can't go through that again. Of course, I also hope we are able to grow stronger and not break apart. But, I'm curious if anyone else out there feels this way? That the fear of the other being with others is what is keeping you together - or have you overcome that and how?


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## knortoh (Sep 5, 2009)

Sorry to start out stating the obvious - but if he already had affairs how does staying together stop him being with others?


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## wantosaveit (Oct 17, 2009)

I KNOW HOW YOOU feel my husband left me lots this year and we are now separated because he doesnt want to be with me - he is angry and full of negative thoughts - but i feel as you i want to save our marriage - better the old you know then the unknown - but try to have a good time without him - buddy up with some girl friends and talk things through with them . I hope it all works out for you - and me too. good luck


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## stillINshock (Apr 9, 2009)

knortoh said:


> Sorry to start out stating the obvious - but if he already had affairs how does staying together stop him being with others?


Pathetic right? Maybe its my desperation. I just so want the awful deeds to not have happened, and so want the trust and faith I had in him before. Same old story - he promises to never do it again - blames my partly for not making him feel loved - you know the whole typical deal. I feel like an emotional wimp - never never never thought I'd be in this situation. Never thought I'd react the way I am. (Thought I'd be SOOOOO gone by now.)

I just want to understand from those who may have been apart, because I do assume that the second we split - if that happens - he'll find comfort - and not just physical, but emotional. He'll be the nice guy he was back 20 years ago when WE were dating. I witnessed from his latest affair that he's still got that soft side in him. And it absolutely breaks my heart. 

What was it like having to experience that? Please someone give me the worst case - and perhaps the 'you get over it' stories? I just don't know what our future holds. Am I a fool for clinging on to the past and fear of being hurt?


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