# Weight loss and sexual performance



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Funny story.

Since the first of the year, I've lost 20% of my body weight. For the most part, I don't feel any different except it's now much easier to tie my shoes.

The wife feels otherwise. She's mourning the loss of her lover, in a sense. She's a missionary girl who relies on a certain amount of bump'n'grind to get the job done during sex. Apparently my bonier self lacks some of the qualities that work well for that. She doesn't really care for any other stimulation - oral is out of the question, fingers are mostly unwelcome, and a couples vibe is acceptable but not ideal. 

So I guess we get to relearn the last 10 years of our sex life all over again. Not really looking for advice, since there is none to give, but I just thought I'd ruminate over the irony of it all.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Lift weights, work on your lower body so that you can thrust harder. 

As a side benefit to losing the weight your bonier will feel a little longer to her too, since you lost stomach fat which covered part of it.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

blueinbr said:


> Lift weights, work on your lower body so that you can thrust harder.
> 
> As a side benefit to losing the weight your bonier will feel a little longer to her too, since you lost stomach fat which covered part of it.


It's not a thrusting problem. It's a lack of soft tissue contacting the clitoris that's the problem. That fat pad was her Little Friend. She couldn't care less how long I am since that ain't what gets the job done. 

I need an inflatable **** ring with a big pillow on top.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Festivus said:


> It's not a thrusting problem. It's a lack of soft tissue contacting the clitoris that's the problem. That fat pad was her Little Friend. She couldn't care less how long I am since that ain't what gets the job done.
> 
> I need an inflatable **** ring with a big pillow on top.


Wow. Tough problem. She got used to your fat, even really got off on it. Now you are more ripped but not good for her. 

Try using donuts. :grin2: Either eat them or slip them over your boner.


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## Tortdog (May 2, 2016)

They make weiner cleaners. Throw one of those on and then it will be there to hit the spot and you can take it off and clean up right after.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

Not gonna lie, as a female who lost an equally significant portion of body weigh, the struggle is indeed real.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Convince her to try Cowgirl..... some grinding can happen in that position!

Or, something like this: 
http://www.amazon.com/Waterproof-Re...* ring&qid=1464748554&ref_=sr_1_3_a_it&sr=8-3


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Starstarfish said:


> Not gonna lie, as a female who lost an equally significant portion of body weigh, the struggle is indeed real.


How so, for a female?


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

SecondTime'Round said:


> How so, for a female?


That I myself lost a good amount of weight and sex is indeed very different. I'm not going to get into graphic levels of detail but, losing that amount of weight affects the way you move, your center of gravity, and the amount of "padding" indeed in certain places. 

While you can indeed find different rhythms/routines it's not the same.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Starstarfish said:


> That I myself lost a good amount of weight and sex is indeed very different. I'm not going to get into graphic levels of detail but, losing that amount of weight affects the way you move, your center of gravity, and the amount of "padding" indeed in certain places.
> 
> While you can indeed find different rhythms/routines it's not the same.


Ok, I respect that. I'm quite prudish but was still interested in specifics because I'm trying to imagine it (as a heterosexual woman).


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

PM me if you want.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Starstarfish said:


> That I myself lost a good amount of weight and sex is indeed very different. I'm not going to get into graphic levels of detail but, losing that amount of weight affects the way you move, your center of gravity, and the amount of "padding" indeed in certain places.
> 
> *While you can indeed find different rhythms/routines it's not the same.*


I'm only seeing positive. Being in good shape means you can go hard and fast for as long as needed without feeling like you're dying. There is a certain line you cross when getting in shape where you transition from exertion feeling bad to feeling good. When that happens, life gets much better.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Festivus said:


> It's not a thrusting problem. It's a lack of soft tissue contacting the clitoris that's the problem. That fat pad was her Little Friend. She couldn't care less how long I am since that ain't what gets the job done.


Try the coital alignment technique.

NSFW 
Coital Alignment Technique (CAT)



> Alignment Technique is a modified form of lovemaking that stimulates the clitoris, by making a few important changes to the traditional missionary sexual position (guy on top).
> 
> To maximize stimulation of his partner’s clitoris, a man positions himself so that he is rubbing the base of his penis and pubic bone on the female clitoris with the aim of helping her reach orgasm.
> 
> ...




Will your wife stimulate her clit herself during penetration? If not, try doing it for her using the position of man standing while woman lays on bed. Since you are standing you don't need your hands to balance or hold yourself up. You can reach down and rub her clit for her. You can also grab her hand and bring it to her clit and then guide her hand in rubbing. If she likes vibrators, you can also hold a vibratory to her clit while standing and thrusting.


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

SecondTime'Round said:


> Ok, I respect that. I'm quite prudish but was still interested in specifics because I'm trying to imagine it (as a heterosexual woman).


I imagine it's the same issue OP is finding - losing that extra padding in certain areas means less friction of said areas. If you have that padding, it'll extend or protrude the areas in which you want friction on.

My ex wife was a size 0, there was no way anything of mine was rubbing anything of hers in any position. My wife is not a size 0, and she receives perfect stimulation during missionary.

Related to the OP's post - doggystyle can work well for that, depending on how you're built. I can't not be graphic here, but my wife receives adequate stimulation in that position on account of other body parts of mine (hitting, rubbing, slapping?) her clitoral area. Seems a little rough to me, but it works for her, so whatever.


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## KJ_Simmons (Jan 12, 2016)

OP - congratulations on your weight loss. I haven't noticed any changes in the "mechanics" of things after getting in shape.

I too have experienced a drastic body recomposition in the past few years....I've dropped a huge amount of bodyfat with a corresponding increase in muscle mass...I'm now sitting at 6'3 235 at 15% bf (goal is sub 10%). Dressing better, overall appearance is neater, and confidence much higher. I get alot more eyes on me now, heck even guys complement me on my physique. My desire is insatiable, and I feel like I can go for days without tiring out. Refrac is next to nothing. 

Here's the kicker - I got tons more "good lovin" from the wife when I was 320# than I do now. Ain't that some $hit!


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> Try the coital alignment technique.
> 
> NSFW
> Coital Alignment Technique (CAT)
> ...


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

Congrats on the weight loss. I also lost about 20%, good news - made me hornier, bad news - it was at the same time as menopause zapped her drive. We're back on track. 


Festivus said:


> So I guess we get to relearn the last 10 years of our sex life all over again.


It likely won't be the last time. We're on sex 2.0. It was looking like 3.0 was around the corner but her physical therapy (not related to sex but helpful) will delay that and may get us closer to 1.0.

Oral used to be a no go in sex 1.0 because PiV got her most every time. After 15 years of no oral we were traveling and needed at least a quickie but it was really hot, no a/c, and didn't have time to shower after. She gave it a shot and she liked it. We are so glad, because part of sex 2.0 for us is that she no longer gets off from PiV. I don't think it's my body, probably her issue that require PT with a touch of menopause. I encourage you and your wife to give it a shot, it's a really important life skill.


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

My girl only O's from clitoral action. Doesn't matter if I pound her for 30 minutes.

We are going to get this to see if it works: https://www.amazon.com/Je-Joue-Penis-Vibrations-Purple/dp/B0083E5H0I?ie=UTF8&*Version*=1&*entries*=0

Might be worth a try?


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## niceguy28 (May 6, 2016)

I lost a lot of weight and it started working out and it helped tremendously. Losing that weight gave me a lot more stamina so I was able to go longer and harder. OP I don't know what tell you. You gotta get her to stop being such a prude and try new stuff. That's the real problem. Not your weight loss.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

niceguy28 said:


> I lost a lot of weight and it started working out and it helped tremendously. Losing that weight gave me a lot more stamina so I was able to go longer and harder. OP I don't know what tell you. You gotta get her to stop being such a prude and try new stuff. That's the real problem. Not your weight loss.


Well, Mrs. Missionary isn't going to change at this time in her life. Besides, what would a sex life be without a few challenges? 

I've started elevating more, and aside from a couple of concussive events with the headboard, it works better sometimes, but there's only so much compliance angle you can sustain between her innie and my outie, if you know what I mean.


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## FrazzledSadHusband (Jul 3, 2014)

Try this - The Screaming O Big O Ring | Walgreens

Can't hurt!


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

FrazzledSadHusband said:


> Try this - The Screaming O Big O Ring | Walgreens
> 
> Can't hurt!


Turns out I already own that exact model. And no, it doesn't hurt.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

I think this has more to do with your wife than you. I was engaged to a girl who could only orgasm if she was on top and basically grinding her clit into my pelvic bone. I would finish then just lay there while she went to work grinding on me. No amount of manual or oral stimulation did it for her. In essence, she was using my body as a masturbation tool. 

I can imagine how a change in weight could effect the stimulation she feels. My recommendation would be to try different positions and minor shifts in your positioning to try and find a new spot that works for her.


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## PersonInSpace (May 19, 2016)

KJ_Simmons said:


> OP - congratulations on your weight loss. I haven't noticed any changes in the "mechanics" of things after getting in shape.
> 
> I too have experienced a drastic body recomposition in the past few years....I've dropped a huge amount of bodyfat with a corresponding increase in muscle mass...I'm now sitting at 6'3 235 at 15% bf (goal is sub 10%). Dressing better, overall appearance is neater, and confidence much higher. I get alot more eyes on me now, heck even guys complement me on my physique. My desire is insatiable, and I feel like I can go for days without tiring out. Refrac is next to nothing.
> 
> Here's the kicker - I got tons more "good lovin" from the wife when I was 320# than I do now. Ain't that some $hit!



I am really blown away by this whole concept. I for one like heavier girls, and think girls with meat on their bones can be as sexy and as good at sex as their skinny counterparts. I never thought that guys were better off heavy and I never heard of women whether in person or in an online forum worshiping heavy guys like there are worshiping heavy girls. But I digress.


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