# Hot and Cold....



## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

:scratchhead: So for the longest time in our marriage my hubs was the one with the high sex drive and me with the lower one... it was a discussion that every so often we had again because I would do good for a little while making sure to think about sex, etc. and then I would fall off. Our last discussion was about 6 months ago and I totally upped the heat so to speak... majorly! 
Well suddenly his just dropped off. I try to do things, send a sexy text in the middle of the day, come home for a lunch trist... etc. but he seems disinterested. In fact, I sent a sexy text a couple days ago, offering a special treat that he completely ignored... I was floored! (And yes he got it, I asked)
We have had some other issues, but nothing out of the ordinary for us and it never caused problems in this department before. In fact the other day he basically said we are in a rut and we will get out of it. Then last night we watched a tv show (looking back at it now I realize it was very sexually charged). Tells me this morning that he had a very sexy dream about us... so he asks then for the special treatment.... even though the rejection the other day hurt me... I gave in because I feel like if I don't I will lose what we do have. Whatever the dream was must've been good, because he kissed me deeply today and it had been a while since he kissed me like that, and he said I need to kiss you more like that, and I said, yes, you do. Thoughts? Do men go through sexual ups and downs totally randomly? He has been stressed but I still don't get the whole reject me one day and want me the next...anyone else gone through this? I feel horrible because I can't help but wonder if this is how he felt the times that I wasn't feeling sexy and he was wanting it... it sucks!


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## cory275 (Aug 11, 2011)

talk is cheap.. a message here and there doesnt do anything for my hubs either.. he's too busy to reply during the day and by the time he gets home he's had a million other thoughts go through his mind. i think it happens to all of us now and then. 

if you want to get your hubs reineterested in you i would suggest action... i know the whole 50's housewife things seems sexist now, but i think a lot of guy appreciate it. hair, make up, hot food, massages, cute outfits (bedroom or otherwise)... it doesnt have to be an everyday thing, but i would step your game up a little and see how he reacts. when i want more attention i demand it. i wear something where my boobs CAN NOT be ignored.. and if he trys (jokingly) i smash his face in them... 

if your hubs thinks your relationship is in a rut, then make it fun for him again! go out! go bowling! do whatever you guys do to have fun.. but dont just talk about it.. actually do it!


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

I do more then talk, lol I do dress up, wear sexy outfits etc. but we do need a date night. Gotta figure that one out.
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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

From my perspective, if you had put him through the same type of disinterest when he wanted sex, it's a good chance that he started to shut down to a degree.

Speaking for myself (and what I've read here) a man can feel pretty worthless after a continued string of rejections or the feeling that his wife is having sex with him just as a "chore" that has to be done and checked off her list. 

Believe it or not, men also want to feel desired by their wives and that their women want to jump their bones!

My best advice from the male point of view is for you to intiate more! The sexy lingere won't hurt either!

Tell him when her gets home tonight that he really rocked your world last night and you MUST have him AGAIN! Tonight!


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

Dean....interesting because he has been working out...lost some weight gained muscle looks great! I've always thought he was hot and didnt see a problem with the weight he put on but e did, so he lost it. So he is staying active and has that as a relief and gets running once a week. I think ths was to try to reliev stress. I am getting I just need to keep up the het and be patient....
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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

Heat
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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

I agree with Dean, working out for me not only gives me a bit of a high, but it has me focusing more on myself. Not just in the way I look, but has me focused on what I want to do in upcoming workouts. That can be a short term distraction from my normal sex drive.

Stress though can be a drive killer, or at times it can create an alternate type of drive. A drive for comfort sex (think comfort food... only sex). That drive though isn't nearly as intense, and it can be ignored (at least I can ignore it).


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

Thank you for your opinions! I think it is a combination of things and I know what I can do to help things, I just hope he comes back around.


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