# Ex's lifestyle saddens me so



## KRinOnt (Oct 19, 2010)

I've been separated for 18 months now, yet I still can't look at my wife's life and not be sad. I've recently learned that she is now having an affair with an old friend of mine behind he back of the man she left me for. I don't know this woman anymore. I shouldn't care, but I can't look at the way her life has gone and not feel profoundly sad. This is such a terrible example to set for our 14 year old daughter. It's like morality was a switch and it was somehow turned off. Do we ewver stop being effected by the things our former spouses do? Maybe it's just me, but I can't seem to not care.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

I think you are still affected by her lifestyle choices because of the deep love you had/have for her. You have to realize that the woman she is now is not the woman she was when you were in love. That is what has gotten me through this (for the most part).


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## KRinOnt (Oct 19, 2010)

proudwidaddy said:


> I think you are still affected by her lifestyle choices because of the deep love you had/have for her. You have to realize that the woman she is now is not the woman she was when you were in love. That is what has gotten me through this (for the most part).


It really makes me wonder if she was like this while we were together. Are my kids mine? Was she whoring around for years?


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

I know your ex's decisions have been deeply disturbing, but please, take care that YOU are setting a good example for your daughter.

Rudyard Kipling's "If" comes to mind.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

F-102 said:


> I know your ex's decisions have been deeply disturbing, but please, take care that YOU are setting a good example for your daughter.
> 
> Rudyard Kipling's "If" comes to mind.


That's just about all that you can do - be the best example that you can be.

I don't appreciate all of my Ex's choices - but short of abuse or neglect - you really can't take your daughter away from her mother.

Hang in there...


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