# I am at a crossroad...



## keisha1010 (Aug 10, 2010)

I have known my husband ever since we were in fifth grade. He has always had a crush on me since jr. high. We never dated nor did he ever confess these feelings to me, I could just always tell. We have always kept in touch through what i thought was a mutual friend (Tam). Tam used to date my H cousin in high school and they had a rough abusive relationship. My h always hung out with his cousin who was always with his girlfirend Tam. We were married in 2008, never dated or anything like that. H called Tam asked her for my number and we began talking, courting and were engaged within months. All this was happening long distance because he is stationed in TX and I lived in AK. I moved to be with my husband a month after we were married with my three year old son. Immeditaely after moving in together my husband sarted being verbally abusive to me and physically abusive to my kid. He called it corporal punishment, I put a stop to it right away. H was upset that I would not allow him to discipline son. So every month when we had a serious family discussion he always bought up the issue of him not being allowed to discipline my kid and even said that he would leave me if continued to "wear the pants" and "restrict" him in his own house. Now we have tons of other problems like why we don't share bank accounts, why the lights are disconnected, why the car breaks down etc. but all he wants to talk about is his lack of discipline for my kid. Well once I got a computer I noticed H was spending hours playing what I thought was chess. He would send me on errands, not accompany me to family outings and escort me to bed. Then once I was asleep he was back on the computer viewing porn. I did not know this at the time. But he became a very mean man to me and my kid. Well fast forward to April 2010. I confirmed my h was a porn addict through comp monitoring software. He admitted to me when i confronted him. Says he has been an addict ever since he was 12 due to some sexual abuse he experienced as a kid. I was so hurt, devestated, broke down, angry and tons of other emotions. I had a one time affair. My friend Tam who I had been confiding in tells my H before I get the chance and now we are seperated and he and her are talking every nite on the phone for at least 250 mins. all nite till morning. I know he is depressed because he is drinking again and he has isolated himself. Part of me feels sorry for the way I left him. I was gonna leave him, I did not have to have an affair to do it. I do not have any contact with the OM but it really hurts me that Tam would sacrafice our 14 year friendship to confess to my H everything that I confided in her. Part of me wants to reconcille with H, support him through recovery because I know that if we can work through this we will have a strong marriage. But I am not sure if it is worth me putting in all the hard work, sweat and tears if he does not acknowledge that he has a addiction and chose to do anything about it. IS there really recovery and happy marriage after porn addiction?


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## brs597 (Jan 19, 2010)

Is there happy reconciliation after your affair? Not taking sides, but before passing blame be willing to accept some
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

Just so I understand... you married after virtually no time together, he was physically and verbally abusive, has a drinking problem, you had an affair and he is spending hours on the phone with another woman and you are only worried whether your marriage will survive porn addiction?

I would suggest that you need to have all of these issues addressed in counseling.


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