# Is this how Violence is starting?



## nonamefound (12 d ago)

Hey y’all!
I hope you can help me or give me some answers. I have no friends I can talk to, so the Internet is my only Option.
My husband and me, we’re married since 8 months arguing and fight a lot sind the last weeks. He goes to work while I stay at home with our kid (and I’m pregnant now), I clean, take care about household and the kid and all our animals on the farm.
We had a discussion today, that he told me that we have to clean the bedroom. I said sorry and that I had no time for doing it and just answered “when should I do it?” (Because I’m feeling sick since pregnancy started and I’m throwing up 24/7). He just answered “whenever you can”. It made me so angry, because he expect from me to clean after him and everything. I got my cleaning stuff and started cleaning, he was sitting downstairs and eating with the kids. Made me more angry. I came downstairs to tell him that I feel like a house maid, nobody ever is thankful or grateful of what I’m doing every day, but he responded that it’s my job because he’s working all day long and I can’t expect from him doin the household. I just asked if we can do it together so it goes faster (and I never ask for help, but I’m feeling terrible physical).

the fight escalated quickly. He yelled at me that I have to be quiet, he never let me speak, it is just allowed for him to speak to me and when I interrupt himto defend myself he yells and says stuff like”quit this ****”or “shut your ****ing mouth”. I can get really dramatic because I started crying and told Him I want to leave but he didn’t let me. He was holding my wrists really strong and I yelled at him to let me go. He said no he needs to talk. It escalated and he screamed at me and wanted me to leave the house, sohe was holding me on my shoulder and hit me against the fridge while he wanted me to push outside and I fell down on the floor. My knee was hurting and I cried so so hard. He didn’t apologize. He said it was my fault, I was throwing myself around, he was just defending himself … after that he gave me a hug and said he loves me, but he never say sorry about what he did because it is my fault. 

i don’t know… I’m laying in bed and think that all is not right and I’m concerned and scared that it can get worse… every fight ends with, that it’s my fault. It’s happening of my behavior, I have to change everything, change my attitude, change crying. Everything…

I’m so so sad and upset and angry… that’s not how I imagined my marriage… I can’t even tell him,because he’ll say that I’m the one who’s always mad, he’s getting all the money and is taking care of me. I’m taking everything for granted … I’m so worried. I’m feeling terrible in my pregnancy ( 1st trimester and I could use some help because I’m weak - I already was in the ER to get some fluids and medicine.)


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## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

Does this happen often? This is abuse, physical and emotional. Do you have a friend or family you can bring you and your child to? Call the police and get a restraining order as well.


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## nonamefound (12 d ago)

Benbutton said:


> Does this happen often? This is abuse, physical and emotional. Do you have a friend or family you can bring you and your child to? Call the police and get a restraining order as well.


Thank you for your answer!
unfortunately I have no friends and family here because I moved here from another country … I’m pretty alone in here …

it was the second time that he was holding me on my arms/ wrists. The first time I fell on the back of the couch, but he also said there I was throwing myself around. He didn’t do anything …


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## Jimi007 (5 mo ago)

Leave immediately , go to a woman's crisis center. Google services in your area . What you have described is abuse. Protect yourself and your baby. 

It never gets better , it ALWAYS gets worse 😤


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## lmucamac (4 mo ago)

National Domestic Abuse Hotline
800-799-7233
Call immediately. 
This is abuse! It will continue to get worse. Get out. Get help. Please call the phone number above.


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## gameopoly5 (5 mo ago)

nonamefound said:


> Hey y’all!
> I hope you can help me or give me some answers. I have no friends I can talk to, so the Internet is my only Option.
> My husband and me, we’re married since 8 months arguing and fight a lot sind the last weeks. He goes to work while I stay at home with our kid (and I’m pregnant now), I clean, take care about household and the kid and all our animals on the farm.
> We had a discussion today, that he told me that we have to clean the bedroom. I said sorry and that I had no time for doing it and just answered “when should I do it?” (Because I’m feeling sick since pregnancy started and I’m throwing up 24/7). He just answered “whenever you can”. It made me so angry, because he expect from me to clean after him and everything. I got my cleaning stuff and started cleaning, he was sitting downstairs and eating with the kids. Made me more angry. I came downstairs to tell him that I feel like a house maid, nobody ever is thankful or grateful of what I’m doing every day, but he responded that it’s my job because he’s working all day long and I can’t expect from him doin the household. I just asked if we can do it together so it goes faster (and I never ask for help, but I’m feeling terrible physical).
> ...


You`ve been married for 8 months but how long have you been with this a/hole.
If this guy is mentally and physically abusing you without his knowledge visit a lawyer, get a restraining order out on him.
Do this A.sap before he seriously harms you.


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## Mybabysgotit (Jul 1, 2019)

nonamefound said:


> Hey y’all!
> I hope you can help me or give me some answers. I have no friends I can talk to, so the Internet is my only Option.
> My husband and me, we’re married since 8 months arguing and fight a lot sind the last weeks. He goes to work while I stay at home with our kid (and I’m pregnant now), I clean, take care about household and the kid and all our animals on the farm.
> We had a discussion today, that he told me that we have to clean the bedroom. I said sorry and that I had no time for doing it and just answered “when should I do it?” (Because I’m feeling sick since pregnancy started and I’m throwing up 24/7). He just answered “whenever you can”. It made me so angry, because he expect from me to clean after him and everything. I got my cleaning stuff and started cleaning, he was sitting downstairs and eating with the kids. Made me more angry. I came downstairs to tell him that I feel like a house maid, nobody ever is thankful or grateful of what I’m doing every day, but he responded that it’s my job because he’s working all day long and I can’t expect from him doin the household. I just asked if we can do it together so it goes faster (and I never ask for help, but I’m feeling terrible physical).
> ...


If you can't get your husband into some anger management program or some other counseling program, you are going to have a very tough life. I've been there for 7 years and after that relationship took such a toll on me, I vowed to never have that again. Any name calling was a fat NO for me and a non-starter. It's toxic and will eventually suck the life out of you.


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