# strange question - need opinion or answer



## longtermdude (Jan 23, 2013)

Long term married here and I have an issue that is baffling me. Wife and I have had a rocky 4-5 years and it seemed to smooth out a year ago. Now I am having a sexual issue that makes no sense. I either have a painful orgasm - like it is forced out or now I am having no orgasm but I ejaculate. Wife is taking it personal and I am way confused. Any ideas? No STD's, I am healthy, no issues and the only thing I can figure is it is emotional?


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## longtermdude (Jan 23, 2013)

Our sex life has also went slightly down hill from 3-5 times a week to maybe 2 times a week on a good week. We used to have a very active sex life, we are open with desires and wants, no issues that I know of except maybe more excitement (i want that)...


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

How old are you? Early 40s? Prostatitis? Just a guess, as you've given very little to go on. Go see a urologist.


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## longtermdude (Jan 23, 2013)

early 40's no prostate issue that I know of and if I masturbate, I have no issues.... Sorry forgot to mention that part.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

google prostatitis. The few symptoms that you're describing are right out of the book for it. It doesn't mean enlarged prostate or cancer. And it's very common in men in their early forties.


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

How long is it taking you to come to ejaculation. It can get painful for my hubster also if it is taking too long. He has ED due to medications he is on. We just do a BJ and prostate message and he is good to go for those nights. Change it up, as you get older you do have to play around with other options sometimes to get the friction you need. Some days my hubster is as "randy" as a 20 yr old other days I have to work for it. It does sometimes get to you...all I used to have to do was walk across the room and he was ready to go....he was the one always warming me up. Now I am the one chasing him around and lighting his fires. Life changes, your sex life has to evolve with you. I would go to the doctor first make sure theres nothing wrong. Then if there is nothing wrong, your wife may have to spice it up a little bit. ;-) 

Interesting fact ...men peak sexually in there 20's, women peak in there 40's. She is getting older, she might be more receptive than you think to spicing it up.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## StargateFan (Nov 19, 2012)

I commonly have "referred pain". Prostatitis in my 20s manifested itself as pain in my right testicle.  Kidney stones in 30s same thing, only pain in right testicle. Inflamed epididymis in 40s same thing. 

See a urologist and be open to the possibility that just because you have pain in one area, does not mean that is where the problem is. 

My right testicle has been imaged and ultrasounded more than any part of my body, but has never had an abnormality.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

longtermdude said:


> I am healthy, no issues and the only thing I can figure is it is emotional?


Well, how do you know you are healthy and have no physical issues? You clearly are having physical symptoms.

Rule #1: If it hurts, stop. Go to a doctor.

Rule #2: All kinds of things that can go wrong with your body often become worse if you don't take care of them when you first notice them.

Even if you think you're perfectly healthy, a doctor can confirm that and help rule things out that could be causing your problems. That will help you figure out what the problem is.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

My guess would be too much masturbation with porn, giving yourself killer orgasms but when you have sex with your wifee, its okay and not that great, definitely not a killer orgasm, correct?

I can relate. Cut back on the porn and masturbation and get her to masturbate you.

As for it hurting when you orgasm, there is something wrong!!! Shouldn't hurt at all. Contact family doctor, urologist, get your prostate really thoroughly checked.

Now when its been a while of no sex, I get painful balls, always starting with my left one and then to the right and then the entire lower abdomen feels bloated and hurts. But after sex, I'd say 1 - 2 hours later, no more bloating or pain. It's my bodies way of telling me time for sex and get everything out of my system already.

The older we all get, we age.......everything should get checked.

Hopefully its nothing serious. My dad got prostate cancer in his 50's......he told me everything he went through, wow. Nothing to joke about. He is retired now at 65 years of age and over the prostate cancer but it may return because of his old age.


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## Suspecting (Jan 8, 2013)

I agree with everyone else you should go see a doctor asap.


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