# Texting Married Bartender



## asingleguy (Dec 13, 2012)

i am single and a regular at a local bar in town, i go during the day when its not busy for a few beers, i have gotten to know the bartender pretty well over the last year, she is married,

we exchanged phone numbers and i text her once in awhile, she normally replies with just basic one word answers, she answers my questions but never really seems to ask any of her own,

our texts are normally only 2-3 back and forth and thats it, maybe once a week, not lengthy conversations at all, sometimes i ask if shes working the next day to see if she will be there when i am,

i have made one or two very slight flirty remarks in texts, she ignores them or doesnt reply back,

she has never text me first, its always me texting her, so im thinking, am i bothering her? but why would she give me her number then? 

i thought i would kind of "test her" so i stayed away from the bar for about a month, then she text me for the first time ever last week and asked where i have been in a friendly way,

so that kinda proves to me that she thinks about me when im not there, i know she is not too happy in the marriage, am i reading into this too much? or could she want more than friendship? :scratchhead:


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Even IF her marriage is terrible, the last thing her marriage needs is an interloper 

lose her number now


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## Soifon (Oct 5, 2012)

She just wondered where you were because she was missing out on your tips. Don't focus on this and leave married women alone.


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## Terry_CO (Oct 23, 2012)

Ditto on the above. Don't be "that guy" who is a factor in her marriage failing. Find a single girl to flirt and text with. She's already spoken for, even if you're not


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## asingleguy (Dec 13, 2012)

i should have known i would get replies like this on a board where 90% of the people are here because they have been cheated on, i guess you are all still bitter about it, thanks anyway


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## Terry_CO (Oct 23, 2012)

asingleguy said:


> i should have known i would get replies like this on a board where 90% of the people are here because they have been cheated on, i guess you are all still bitter about it, thanks anyway


If you only wanted advice you agree with, why did you even bother to ask?  (FYI - I've never been cheated on)


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## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

asingleguy said:


> i should have known i would get replies like this on a board where 90% of the people are here because they have been cheated on, i guess you are all still bitter about it, thanks anyway


This isn't a dating board in case you didn't notice.


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## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

asingleguy said:


> i should have known i would get replies like this on a board where 90% of the people are here because they have been cheated on, i guess you are all still bitter about it, thanks anyway


Well you could enlighten everyone here on your intentions. That way we wouldn't draw our own conclusions. 

You can't really think this all sounds completely innocent....do you?


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## Soifon (Oct 5, 2012)

LOL...ok. This has nothing to do with being cheated on or not. Say she isn't married hypothetically. I would still tell you she doesn't like you. She texts back one word answers and then texts you when you have been gone. She is just trying to be friendly enough that you keep going to the bar and keep giving her your money. You really can't see that? It's pretty obvious.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

He's either a troll or so stupid that he doesn't realize he's one of a thousand guys who wants to get in her pants and doesn't understand what one-word answers really mean.


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## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

> She is just trying to be friendly enough that you keep going to the bar and keep giving her your money. You really can't see that? It's pretty obvious


.

HUP.

In a nutshell, it's business. With her anyway... I'm on tender hooks waiting to hear what the OP's intentions are.


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## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

Chris Taylor said:


> He's either a troll or so stupid that he doesn't realize he's one of a thousand guys who wants to get in her pants and doesn't understand what one-word answers really mean.


Heh. I worked as a waiter for most of my college years. If there's the possibility of a tip...don't be so sure that a service person is hot for you.


asingleguy said:


> so that kinda proves to me that she thinks about me when im not there, i know she is not too happy in the marriage, am i reading into this too much?


No, it proves that she misses your tips. How do you know she isn't happy in her marriage?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)




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## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

AR!!! :lol::rofl:


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

asingleguy said:


> i am single and a regular at a local bar in town, i go during the day when its not busy for a few beers, i have gotten to know the bartender pretty well over the last year, she is married,
> 
> we exchanged phone numbers and i text her once in awhile, she normally replies with just basic one word answers, she answers my questions but never really seems to ask any of her own,
> 
> ...


Stop this. She is married.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

asingleguy said:


> i should have known i would get replies like this on a board where 90% of the people are here because they have been cheated on, i guess you are all still bitter about it, thanks anyway


Hi, I guess I'm in the 10% that has not been cheated on and therefore, I'm not bitter.

But I agree with every response here: 

1. Lose her number, she's married
2. Stop trying to bait her, she's married
3. Her giving you her number means you'll be back = more business for her + she's married
4. Leave married women alone, SHE is married


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## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

This reminds me of my drunk buddies back in the day - "See man, that stripper likes me. You see the way she keeps coming by me and smiling!!! I'm going to ask her out."


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

thunderstruck said:


> This reminds me of my drunk buddies back in the day - "See man, that stripper likes me. You see the way she keeps coming by me and smiling!!! I'm going to ask her out."


:lol: :rofl: :rofl: 

"Oh yeah, dude, she's ALL about...................your wallet!" :iagree:


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

asingleguy said:


> i should have known i would get replies like this on a board where 90% of the people are here because they have been cheated on, i guess you are all still bitter about it, thanks anyway


You're not in the infidelity area. I haven't been cheated on. Why would you say that. 

You got your hairs up because you didn't get validation. You're upset that most here think you're inappropriate?

You asked, didn't you? Here's my answer. Flirt with your own woman. Leave someone else's alone. SHES MARRIED. Get it!


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## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

Single women must be hard to come by in this guys town. Either that or single women don't find him interesting enough to go out and/or hook up with. Trolling a married woman is a desperate move.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

WOW

Find a single woman!

Jeesh!


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

Eh he's off at the bar by now.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

A Bit Much said:


> Single women must be hard to come by in this guys town. Either that or single women don't find him interesting enough to go out and/or hook up with. Trolling a married woman is a desperate move.


Not much of a catch me thinks. Spends his days in a bar, knocking back beers. Not an activity that would elevate one's sex rank.


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## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

And I just caught he goes regularly when it's not busy. Not even TRYING to be social. Either you want to get hooked up or you don't. Dating requires heavy socializing to meet people. So naturally you go when it's busy to do just that. The guy is missing out on groups of single women going to the bar to relax and have fun.

This lady was looking for her tips. Slow days and not busy means few tips. A regular is steady business.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Guys who ask for the phone numbers and text married bartenders are creepy. Oh, and she texted you because she misses your......tips. When "ticketmaster" sends me a text, it doesn't mean the company wants my unit. They're trying to sell me something. It's called business. 

Asking for a married woman's phone number. You're lucky you didn't get your ass kicked.


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

What are you looking for? Validation that it's ok to test the waters with a married woman on a board that is all about how to make a marriage work. Yup, that makes sense.

If that doesn't read as 'troll', I'm not sure what does.


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

She's "just not that into you."

She probably loves her husband who is big & mean & may be coming after you.

Watch your back!


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## ShawnD (Apr 2, 2012)

1) Text her to say that you would love to pursue a relationship after she leaves that "loser" husband (use this exact word).
2) Delete her number.
3) Drama ensues.


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