# Does lack of sex mean infidelity?



## Alex-2 (Jan 8, 2010)

Hello, I am new to this forum, would like advise on the following.
I have been married for 20 yrs. sex life has been great, until about a year ago. My wife and had a bad argument December 2008, then stopped having sex for a while. We resumed after things quieted down, but frequency started to decrease. Lately it has gotten to be so bad that sex is completely nonexistent, not because I do not want to, but that my wife rejects me everytime I approach her.
My wife works part time in the mornings. It might sound crazy, but she goes to work earlier than it needs to really be. Could it be that she is unfaithful to me? How can I know for sure?
Thanks

A


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## jessi (Feb 11, 2009)

sometimes your gut instinct is right, why do you think this, because she goes to work earlier than she has to, my husband did that as well, told me he had to do extra work, mornings, nights and weekends......guess what he was having an affair with someone from his office.......
he also stopped having sex with me......
not it all makes sense, 
I'm not saying she is doing this, I'm a little jadded here, do some checking......try re-connecting with her, don't let her reject you anymore, tell her it's not what you want and maybe she doesn't either.....just start by holding and hugging, don't push her see if you change things between you two. 
Flirt with her during the day, little touches be attentive like you used to be......make her think about being with you again......
good luck


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

Sex can also stop if she resents you for what happened in 2008 and never really got past whatever that argument was about.

Are there any other signs? Since she's been going in early have you noticed she spends more time dolling herself up, etc.? Does she hide her cell phone?


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## letmego (Jan 7, 2010)

didnt know what you 2 argued for.but if you did say something hurt her feeling.it could decrease the sex desire for you.believe it or not.it happened to me and my husband.after we had so many times argument and said something hurt each other.i don't want sex at all.


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

There are two things happening here. The first is that you have ticked her off really badly and that's caused a major rift. The issue that started in Dec 2008 is somehow unfinished between you. Basically whatever the hell that fight was about, or the way you fought, or something, just slammed her entire attraction to you into the OFF position.

The second issue is that her sex drive itself wasn't turned off, just her desire for sex with you. So while she probably hasn't done anything silly, she may have, and she might in the future.

The second issue is a symptom of the first. Fix the first issue and the second will self correct.


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## mommy2 (Oct 27, 2009)

I can tell you for me, the lack of sex in my marriage wasn't because I was being unfaithful. It's because I had built up SO much resentment and anger toward my H that I had zero amount of desire for him. My H is an attractive guy so even when I would look at him and the spark would start to ignite, he'd speak or do something to p*ss me off and wham, would slam the door immediately. No matter what he did to initate, I would pull away and resist. A woman's sexual desire is so emotional versus physcial. So no matter how much physcially I may have wanted my H, my emotional side wouldn't allow it. I couldn't shut off my anger or resentment long enough. 

BUT in my H's case, that lack of sex DID mean infidelity because he did end up having an A. Only last for a few weeks and we're working it out.


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## Alex-2 (Jan 8, 2010)

Thank you all for your insights. 

Well, if the problem lies on the unresolved issue, yes we had a fight, it was verbal, I am sorry for the things that I said, and I have manifested that to her, but it does not seem to work at all.

I have tried many different things, none seems to work, (taking her to dinner, bringing her flowers, cleaning the kitchen...) it's like someone here said, it seems as if I have turned herself off completely...

In regards to the cell phone, she seems to keep it to herself most of the time, I have checked, once or twice, nothing appears suspicious...

Thanks......


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