# Mentally, Physically, and Financially Drained



## GardenDiva (Sep 23, 2009)

My husband and I will be together 8 years next months, married 5 years in February. Before we met, my finances we sound and I had extra money in the bank. Since then, he has held small jobs off and on and actually held a good job for 2 years before quitting because he "couldn't take it anymore." I have been at the same job for going on 21 years.

My (he has bad credit and therefore had/has no cards) credit cards are maxed out due to a failed business venture and over spending. We have creditors calling every day. Had the power shut off (now back on) and the water shut off (now back on). 
The mortgage and the car payment come out from my checking automatically on pay day. House was mine before we got married... all vehicles are in my name. Now his lazy 19 year old son and HIS girlfriend are living with us. She has a part-time job and he is trying to get a job (part-time) where she works, because she has no car.

The son has no vehicle, so uses mine (ours). And because the son let his car insurance lapse because of non-payment...my insurance went up.

My husband current brings home about 400.00 a week. It helps but he is threatening if things dont improve, that he is leaving. 
I am busting my ass with overtime just to have extra money or to try and pay something. 

I am so frustrated and just drained...I cant even talk to his son. He and the girlfriend stay in their room in the basement and 
either sleep till its dinner time or till my husband gets home.

If I say anything to my husband, he says "stop being a *****" or "dont start". Our sex life is non-existant...I have no desire whatsoever anymore. 

My sister who lives in Sc says just move there, but I am in this job for 21 years and HATE to start at the bottom again when I am at $24.00 an hour.

Can ANYONE offer me some guidance? Anyone experience this...ever?


----------



## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

GardenDiva said:


> My husband current brings home about 400.00 a week. It helps but he is threatening if things dont improve, that he is leaving.


Show him the door and have him take his lazy assed son and co-sponge with him. You own the house, he should leave. Sounds like you have no emotional connection to him. You have a better financial future without him. Take him up on it.


----------



## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

GardenDiva said:


> My husband current brings home about 400.00 a week. It helps but he is threatening if things dont improve, that he is leaving.


I'm not sure what you mean by this. Is he threatening to quit his job if things don't improve or leave the marriage?

I know this won't be easy, but I would do the following:


his son and wife need to find their own place by x date
you are not in a financial position to take them in...if you need to give a reason, this is it...but kinda obvious
if you have extra vehicles that you do not need, sell them
if his son wants one, he pays full in cash or gets a loan on his own...do not go into a payment plan with him
call creditors to see if you can negotiate a payoff amount on the cards...they will usually do this to get something vs nothing and the calls will stop
also, if you come to agreement with the creditors and pay it off as you can (whatever you negotiate as the amount you owe) you can avoid having leins put on your home

At least get to some point of 'above water' first. I don't think you should leave your job. Get it back to where it's just you and your husband and if you see the marriage going nowhere...he should move out. If you get to a better place where you are not so drained, see if you can have a heart to heart with him and figure out whether the marriage is salvagable.

He's said some pretty disrespectful things to you, but you also say your sex life is non-existent, so he may have his own issues with the marriage causing him to be resentful and cranky.


----------



## silvernblack (Jul 21, 2009)

Amplexor said:


> Show him the door and have him take his lazy assed son and co-sponge with him. You own the house, he should leave. Sounds like you have no emotional connection to him. You have a better financial future without him. Take him up on it.


I totally agree. And he has the nerve to say he'll leave if things don't improve, yet he's not helping make the situation any better?! No, go ahead and show him the door. The son and girlfriend too.


----------

