# Wife Does Not Like My Son



## raiste62000 (Mar 15, 2011)

I have known my wife now for over 3 years, and have been married for one. She knows the situation my kids came from, as I won custody of my 3 kids, one boy and two girls recently. We have provided a very stable loving home until it seems recently. My kids went to visit their mom last July, and have never been the same. They came home scared of everything, we wound up getting CPS involved, and investigated with no substatinal findings. My son however does not seem to have any feeling about anything unless he wants something. He lies, half way does his chores, or constantly forgets them. We have tried everything from grounding, spanking, taking away toys and privilages, yet nothing works. MY wife occassionally refers to him as a filthy little beast, or little bastard, and cant stand to be around him. I worry about what goes on when I'm not home, and have done what I can to try to save this now hell of a marriage. At times I want to blame my kids but I can't as they have done nothing wrong, but COULD he be doing this to get us to split up? Need some serious advice here as now I feel like either getting the kids out of here to avoid the arguments or to just divorce again for the 3rd time in my life and live with my kids. ANy help would be hot.


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## misslizzy89 (Mar 14, 2011)

have a sit down talk with everyone individually. Don't let any of them know you are doing it until you set them down. This way you can figure out what the actual story is about what happened at your ex wife's house and in your current house with your wife when you are not home.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

Sometimes kids do those types of things for attention, to test you and to make sure you still love them. her reacting badly is reinforcing his belief that he is not lovable.

Do not ever withdraw love and affection from the children. Clearly they have been damaged by their mom and he is continuing to be damaged by your wife..

Have clear rules for all the children, and for you and your wife, including no yelling, no name calling etc. Everyone in the house sticks to the rules.

When he does something wrong all ways take him aside for time out. Talk to him about why what he is doing is wrong and how it makes other people FEEL. You need to teach him to have empathy for others. Something he's not getting from your wife.

If you love your son get counseling for him and the whole family.

It might be easy for your wife to point the finger at your son, but he is not the cause of the problems, something (his mom, and the situation with your wife or other things) are causing these problems, and as he's just a child, the adults need to own this problem.

if your wife has no older children her self she may never have faced these problems and realize that most families face these problems at some stage (even to a lesser degree), it is normal, but it's probably been hugely exasperated by the situation.

Remember also you can't control your son, you can only control how you react to him, and that can make the world of difference. Also your son probably feels like his world is out of control, and that is why he is doing those things.


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## TNgirl232 (Oct 5, 2008)

Counseling - for the kids and as a family

Tell your wife that you will not allow her to call your son's disparaging names any longer (its not good in case he does here) . Tell her you understand her frustrations, but she is the adult and she has to act like one.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

counseling.

And if it doesn't help, your wife is expendable - your kids' childhoods aren't.


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