# Never to get off again...



## lonelynewlywed (Jul 9, 2009)

So I am one of those women who has a very hard time climaxing. In my life no man has ever been able to until my husband but he can not do it alone. What I mean is that I found out long ago that "the magic button" needs to be stimulated by a vibrator so he found a way to get me off with him and it but he hates that he has to use "a toy". He has tried several times to the point it hurts to get me there without it but I just doesn't work. I have tried everything and even tried to force myself but that is the only combo that works. Well tonight he again tried to do it only himself and I said to him honey I'm sorry but I just can't without " the toy" also and his response was "then I guess you will never get off." He out right refuses to need help. So it looks like the only time I will ever get off is by myself.
I am deeply crushed to know that never again will I get to experiance this with him or anyone (I am married). I don't know if I am just being selfish by being upset and after all I guess it is my own fault that I can not climax without it. I of course am able to get him to climax in several ways and will do whatever it takes for him to so I guess I just thought in return he would also. I don't know what else to do it went from barely getting any sexual attention to now knowing it will forever be just for him.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

He is not being decent about this at all. That is a very, very insecure reaction on his part. 




lonelynewlywed said:


> So I am one of those women who has a very hard time climaxing. In my life no man has ever been able to until my husband but he can not do it alone. What I mean is that I found out long ago that "the magic button" needs to be stimulated by a vibrator so he found a way to get me off with him and it but he hates that he has to use "a toy". He has tried several times to the point it hurts to get me there without it but I just doesn't work. I have tried everything and even tried to force myself but that is the only combo that works. Well tonight he again tried to do it only himself and I said to him honey I'm sorry but I just can't without " the toy" also and his response was "then I guess you will never get off." He out right refuses to need help. So it looks like the only time I will ever get off is by myself.
> I am deeply crushed to know that never again will I get to experiance this with him or anyone (I am married). I don't know if I am just being selfish by being upset and after all I guess it is my own fault that I can not climax without it. I of course am able to get him to climax in several ways and will do whatever it takes for him to so I guess I just thought in return he would also. I don't know what else to do it went from barely getting any sexual attention to now knowing it will forever be just for him.


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## GettingLucky (Nov 3, 2009)

Guess it could be a male ego issue her as well, as he does not feel he can get you to climax.

I would suggest that you talk to him in a nice way, and confirm to him thats not him thats at fault, but rather you?

Have you ever got off during oral?


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

lonelynewlywed said:


> I don't know what else to do it went from barely getting any sexual attention to now knowing it will forever be just for him.


Now come on, cheer up 

This is not a life sentence.

As women get older, their bodies become more sensitive. With a lot of women, the full power of their sexuality does not awaken until 36.

There is something you can do...

Train yourself to become more and more sensitive. You can do this by using the vibrator on lower and lower settings. Also if you have not cum for a while you will be more sensitive.

You must not allow hubby to give up on making you orgasm, or the build up of resentment will cause you to cease wanting sex with him eventually.

Keep talking to him, and tell him you need his help. Don't feel sorry for yourself - it won't do you any good and it does not suit you sweetheart


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## chuckf75 (Sep 6, 2009)

What he muttered in a moment of pain is not what the truth is. I am sure he will work hard at this again in the future. It is not your fault, I have known women like you and women who can have a climax by kissing! I think Mark is right about some of his advise but I caution you that this may never improve to the point you want it to. Hard to accpet but just the enjoyment of the act without the big O might be all you can usually have. But enjoy the ride, it is not all bad. Don't allow pressure put on you by your husband to damage it.

On another thought, it can hurt a man's ego that he cannot make his woman climax and of course he at least partcially blames himself. He needs to accept the situation as well.

Enjoy your vibrator!!


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## lonelynewlywed (Jul 9, 2009)

Well i sat down today and told him that what he said last night crushed me and he said "but you only get off from a toy" and i proceeded to explain to him that i may need the toy but when he does it with me if feels so much better than just the toy and his response was "ok" so we will see how it goes!


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

lonelynewlywed said:


> Well i sat down today and told him that what he said last night crushed me and he said "but you only get off from a toy" and i proceeded to explain to him that i may need the toy but when he does it with me if feels so much better than just the toy and his response was "ok" so we will see how it goes!


Cool. He needs to man up and love you just the way you are without taking it personally. Obviously you can help guide him in this direction


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## larniegrl (Oct 7, 2009)

Have you tried experimenting alone to manually climax w/o toys?


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## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

I agree about backing off of the toy... also, do you employ fantasy?


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## HappyHer (Nov 12, 2009)

It's not the toy, it's the vibrations and many women cannot orgasm without that. I'm a professional in this field, and it's a physical fact that the vibrations create stimulation that allow typical non-orgasmic women the ability to orgasm where nothing else will work. 

There is nothing wrong with either one of you, it's just the way you are built. If he can understand that, then hopefully he will become more understanding. 

You could of course try some clitoral sensitivity creams, those work wonders. But if you are one of the many women that cannot orgasm without the vibrations, then it is what it is.

If your husband feels left out, get a finger vibrator that he can use that he can use his fingers to stimulate you, but you'll still get the vibrations you need in order to be able to climax.

Please don't feel bad about how you are made, it's not something you chose and it's actually on the "normal" side of the scale. 

I understand that your husband is probably feeling that he needs to feel like he can "do it for you" in all ways and I'm sure he can bring you incredible pleasure, it's not about his abilities, it's about your own body, so I hope he will come around to becoming more compassionate about your situation.


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## tom327 (Nov 13, 2009)

I think you should encourage your husband and yourself to experiment with each other,warm up to new ideas. My wife used to enoy many different vibrators and I grew to enjoy pleasing her so much that I preferred using them more that actual sex, the more times I would please her the better, unfortunately she has shunned me for unknown reasons, I long to pursue that avenue again someday, so much pleasure going to waste.


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