# Housework never finishes...



## MsLonely

After sending my maid home, I have become a full time house wife & housekeeper. The only issue is there's always things to clean and work to do. The moment I'm doing the cleaning is the moment my husband and child are creating the mess, eating biscuits and drinking their soft drinks with the pieces and liquid dropped everywhere.
The housework is endless.
It's so exhausting!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## greenpearl

Hire another one as soon as possible.

Don't understand you. 

I have to work, cook, and clean up, I don't find it exhausting, here you are crying out so loud!


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## major misfit

You are right. It never ends. Welcome to my world.


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## Mom6547

Two things. If your child is old enough to be making a mess, s/he is probably old enough to help clean up. If s/he is eating biscuits anywhere but in a high chair, then she can clean up the biscuits. You will have to show him/her how at first, and help remind him/her. But it is a good investment. 

Get over to FlyLady.net: Your personal online coach to help you gain control of your house and home. Clean house is a matter of habits and routines. And does not need to be exhausting.


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## surfergirl

I had a friend who trained her children from an early age to "bite and suck" when they ate biscuits or anything with crumbs. Apparently it works at stopping crumb fallage....might be an idea you could use on your hubby and kids.


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## surfergirl

Ohhh...while we are on the subject of housework never ending - why is it that when you've just washed the floors someone will always (always) come traipsing in from outside right across them!! 

Arggghhhhh!


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## MsLonely

greenpearl said:


> Hire another one as soon as possible.
> 
> Don't understand you.
> 
> I have to work, cook, and clean up, I don't find it exhausting, here you are crying out so loud!


How many hours a day do you clean the house?
How do you manage your time?
Why don't you find it exhausting?
My house requires "very clean" that must not have dust on a single item. That means everything eyes can see must mop. From the doors, windows, closets, bookshelves, glasses, mirrors cabinets, kitchen, bedrooms washing 3 toilets, vacuum the whole house, mop the floor... 
To reach that standard. I spent all day but not able to finish all.
Yes, I also need to cook do the laundry and ironing.
From 6:30 to midnight, only able to do half.
Not including washing all curtains, changing bed sheets and blankets to wash and wash the dog!
It's not easy to be a housewife.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## greenpearl

MsLonely said:


> How many hours a day do you clean the house?
> How do you manage your time?
> Why don't you find it exhausting?
> My house requires "very clean" that must not have dust on a single item. That means everything eyes can see must mop. From the doors, windows, closets, bookshelves, glasses, mirrors cabinets, kitchen, bedrooms washing 3 toilets, vacuum the whole house, mop the floor...
> To reach that standard. I spent all day but not able to finish all.
> Yes, I also need to cook do the laundry and ironing.
> From 6:30 to midnight, only able to do half.
> Not including washing all curtains, changing bed sheets and blankets to wash and wash the dog!
> It's not easy to be a housewife.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Wow, incredible, no wonder you are exhausted.


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## surfergirl

Wow.....that's a lot to be done in each day - I understand why you are exhausted.

Just wondering....why does your home need to be so clinically clean?


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## greenpearl

Why don't you get your daughter help you?

I remember that your daughter is 16 years old, instead of littering, she should help you!


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## MsLonely

The housework never ends, but I'm not paid!! It's free.
To hire another maid, it takes time to select, apply and wait. When she arrives, it takes months for the maid to learn also. 
Many of them are village girls who don't even know what microwave oven or how to operate a washing machine or a vacuum. 
It's not that easy.
To get an experienced one, firstly they're very good and but can be bad at the same time.
They know how to play tricks and always influence each other, love to talk on the phone when employers are not around, and when employers are not home, they bring back their lovers.
To hire a good maid is like to win a lottery in Singapore.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sweetpea

Mslonely,

Why does your house have to be "very clean"?

I can understand how your house gets messy with a child since we have two children and my husband works from home. We have a housekeeper that comes every two weeks and our house might stay "spotless" for a hour, before the kids come home from school.

It sounds like your standards for a clean house might be unattainable for one person to handle. How old is your child? You can involve your child and husband is the cleaning up and putting away chores. We make our children take their plates to the sink after eating and they are starting to help put laundry away. You have to choose chores based upon the child's age. My children are three and five so we are starting to introduce the chore concept. 

Good luck!


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## MsLonely

My daughter is too busy. She comes back from school at 6pm. After taking a shower and doing her homework and studies. She's tired. On the weekends she volunteers to help with recycling, mop her desk and bookshelves and hanging the clothes on request.
My husband helps after I request 3 times for a single task.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## greenpearl

Good house cleaning is not to get your place dirty, your first post mentioned that they make a big mess for you, get them stop that, it will save you a lot of work!


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## sweetpea

Mslonely,

I would recommend your daughter starts doing her own laundry. She needs to learn how to do it for when she moves out of the house. Teaches her responsibility and gives you a slight break.


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## MsLonely

My house must be very clean first because of the weather.
Singapore is in a tropical zone. Bacteria and germs grow very fast. So it requires constantly care and clean. 
80% of Singaporean family has a live in maid, house cleaning is one of the reason. 
Secondly, it's a culture thing. If you ever visit a typical italian family, you can't find any dust on a display item.
It's extremely clean and tidy because of Italian mammas who are very good not only cooking but also housework.
I'm not Italian but my husband's culture has a great impact on me. He can't stand for a messive home.
As for my daughter. She won't leave the house until she completes her education which still have a minimum 5 to 6 years.
So, now her work is study.


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## Mom6547

MsLonely said:


> How many hours a day do you clean the house?
> How do you manage your time?
> Why don't you find it exhausting?
> My house requires "very clean" that must not have dust on a single item. That means everything eyes can see must mop. From the doors, windows, closets, bookshelves, glasses, mirrors cabinets, kitchen, bedrooms washing 3 toilets, vacuum the whole house, mop the floor...
> To reach that standard. I spent all day but not able to finish all.


You do all of this every day? That is crazy talk!


> Yes, I also need to cook do the laundry and ironing.
> From 6:30 to midnight, only able to do half.
> Not including washing all curtains, changing bed sheets and blankets to wash and wash the dog!
> It's not easy to be a housewife.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Lighten up your expectations.


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## sweetpea

your daughter is capable of cleaning up after herself at the age of 16. She spills a drink, than she should clean it up.


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## MsLonely

My daughter will need to learn how to clean the mess she created because we have no maids so it's a good chance to learn.
From the morning to just now (almost midnight at my time) I just completed my last laundry before I came to forum.
Honestly tell you, I can't finish so much work but I've tried to do as much as I can.
Tomorrow I need to wake up 6:40 to feed the dog and prepare my daughter and husband's breakfast. Do the dishes and cups from the breakfast. 
Vacuum the kitchen and storage room, service balcony, wash a toilet and brush the dog's urine tray. Mop the vacuumed floor.
I will spend an hour or more before I eat my breakfast. This is just 10% of the work.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## greenpearl

Before you find a maid, you are going to have some tough life, that's all I can say!


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## MsLonely

I don't know how career women work and clean the house?
I don't think I will have any sexual desires after a tiring day.
My sexual desires have a significant drop!
I didn't have sex on V day because of the housework. I only stopped for few hours when hubby brought me out for lunch.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## greenpearl

We just don't do such a clean job. 

It is too exhausting if we have to clean up our places like you do!


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## MsLonely

greenpearl said:


> Before you find a maid, you are going to have some tough life, that's all I can say!


It's gonna take some months.
I think I'm doing a better work than my maid.
The interesting thing is my maid called me and asked me to bring her back today.
My husband also thinks I won't survive for a week and he's been already checking how to bring her back.
I told him we don't need a maid. I can do the work because I think I can lose some weights by doing housework all day.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MsLonely

greenpearl said:


> We just don't do such a clean job.
> 
> It is too exhausting if we have to clean up our places like you do!


But you must do. You still need everyday cleaning. At least, the kitchen, bedroom and toilets.
Then you still need to cook and do the laundry. After cooking, you need to brush the range and all around the wall tiles. Do the dishes and dry up the dishes...
How can you finish so much work within an hour?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Neil

MsLonely said:


> Tomorrow I need to wake up 6:40 to feed the dog and prepare my daughter and husband's breakfast. Do the dishes and cups from the breakfast.
> Vacuum the kitchen and storage room, service balcony, wash a toilet and brush the dog's urine tray. Mop the vacuumed floor.
> I will spend an hour or more before I eat my breakfast.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


why, WHY doe you have to prepare your daughters and husbands breakfast, they not capable of doing their own?

Mop the vacuumed floor, can't you mop one day, vacuum the next?

Brush the dog's urine tray. Does no one in the house take it for walks (ie your husband)?

Spend an hour before your breakfast....
At the same time your daughter or husband make there breakfast, let them make yours. and sit together.

Share the load, you do WAY TOO MUCH...

Carry on at this rate, and your too tired to show the love to anyone else. If anyone else can't see that, jeeze


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## MsLonely

sweetpea said:


> Mslonely,
> 
> I would recommend your daughter starts doing her own laundry. She needs to learn how to do it for when she moves out of the house. Teaches her responsibility and gives you a slight break.


My daughter's only problem is she doesn't know how to iron her clothes.
All the rest of things, she already learnt more or less, I have to nag at her though.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sweetpea

MsLonely said:


> My daughter's only problem is she doesn't know how to iron her clothes.
> All the rest of things, she already learnt more or less, I have to nag at her though.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Maybe she should suffer the consequences of not following up on her chores. I never followed up on chores as a teenager because I would wait till my mom nagged me to do it. I didn't suffer consequences for my behavior because my mom was always reminding me. Don't nag her about doing her laundry. When she has no clean laundry and she has to wear dirty clothes, then she will do her laundry. Don't bail her out.


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## Mom6547

sweetpea said:


> your daughter is capable of cleaning up after herself at the age of 16. She spills a drink, than she should clean it up.


She is SIXTEEN and you clean up after her and do her laundry??!!??


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## Mom6547

MsLonely said:


> My daughter's only problem is she doesn't know how to iron her clothes.
> All the rest of things, she already learnt more or less, I have to nag at her though.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


If you don't do her laundry/ironing, guess what will happen? She will have no clean/decent clothes. I think THAT would light a fire under her butt.


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## MsLonely

Neil said:


> why, WHY doe you have to prepare your daughters and husbands breakfast, they not capable of doing their own?
> 
> Mop the vacuumed floor, can't you mop one day, vacuum the next?
> 
> Brush the dog's urine tray. Does no one in the house take it for walks (ie your husband)?
> 
> Spend an hour before your breakfast....
> At the same time your daughter or husband make there breakfast, let them make yours. and sit together.
> 
> Share the load, you do WAY TOO MUCH...
> 
> Carry on at this rate, and your too tired to show the love to anyone else. If anyone else can't see that, jeeze


That's very good input but it won't happen.
First of all, morning is busy for everyone. My husband needs to rush to work and my girl needs to rush to school. They already have little time to eat breakfast. Yes, they're capable to get their own but it's the love from a mom and a wife makes their day to start happily.
Now I'm the full time housewife, I have to do my work.
My husband is happy to prepare my breakfast once in a while.
As for the dog, she's a house dog. She's toilet and house trained. She plays fetch at home. She never leaves the house once. 
No one will wash the dog's toilet or wash the dog for me.
As for vacuum and mop everyday. I have no choice because it's kitchen and the balcony where I hang the clothes. The toilet is where the dog's urine tray located. It must be cleaned. So they must be cleaned everyday. The rest of the house floor, I can clean them every other day.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chillymorn

All I can say is WOW.


I once heard an old saying ...... On your death bed you will never think I should have cleaned better but you might think I should of made love to my husband more.


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## Mom6547

MsLonely said:


> But you must do. You still need everyday cleaning. At least, the kitchen, bedroom and toilets.


I get up an hour before my kids, take a shower. While still in the shower, I wipe it down with some soap and a scrubby brush. 

I don't know how many toilets you have. But if you have more than one for a family of 3, then it is time to get your daughter doing some chores. Or close one off and only wash it once a week.

I have a dishwasher. But when we didn't, I kept a sink full of soapy water. Each person, when done with a dish, washes it out and sticks it in the drainer.

I do a load of laundry every day. When I am done my morning toilette, I throw a load in. When the kids are out the door I "reboot" by putting it in the drier. Right before the kids come home from school, I fold it up and they put it away.



> Then you still need to cook and do the laundry. After cooking, you need to brush the range and all around the wall tiles. Do the dishes and dry up the dishes...


I wipe counters and stove top daily (really more as an as I go during cooking), but I sure don't wash the walls every day.

These are normal, every day, not all that challenging problems. All of them have fairly straight forward solutions. Plan simpler meals. Get organized and establish routines.


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## Mom6547

MsLonely said:


> That's very good input but it won't happen.
> First of all, morning is busy for everyone. My husband needs to rush to work and my girl needs to rush to school. They already have little time to eat breakfast. Yes, they're capable to get their own but it's the love from a mom and a wife makes their day to start happily.
> Now I'm the full time housewife, I have to do my work.
> My husband is happy to prepare my breakfast once in a while.
> As for the dog, she's a house dog. She's toilet and house trained. She plays fetch at home. She never leaves the house once.
> No one will wash the dog's toilet or wash the dog for me.
> As for vacuum and mop everyday. I have no choice because it's kitchen and the balcony where I hang the clothes. The toilet is where the dog's urine tray located. It must be cleaned. So they must be cleaned everyday. The rest of the house floor, I can clean them every other day.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I guess your only recourse is to continue to whine and complain. :scratchhead:


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## Mom6547

MsLonely said:


> I don't know how career women work and clean the house?


They do it by
- Planning. Plan simple meals for example. 
- Routines. Get in habits as FlyLady.net: Your personal online coach to help you gain control of your house and home leads. It takes an extra 5 minutes to clean the bathroom when I get out of the shower...
- Prioritizing. If you really feel you HAVE to mop the floor and cook a 12 course meal, and wash all the walls every day, you are going to fall over dead. So much for that love of Mom business.
- Teach our children to contribute and recognize it is in THEIR best interest to learn to take care of themselves not be waited on by Mommy.

More specifics
- Get a crock pot. Steel cut oats in the crock pot over night. Stew put into the crock pot the night before, plug it in in the am. There are a ton of breakfast casseroles on the internet that can be made ahead.
- Freezer cooking. Google 30 day gourmet or OAMC.
- Meal planning in advance. Shop once a week. 
- Stir fries are great. Chop veggies the night before or early in the day. Ingredients at the ready when dinner time arrives and dishes already done. Clean the plates, the wok and the rice pan... Done.
- Laundry once a day, every day so you have no back log.

Stop working hard. Start working smart.


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## Pandakiss

its all about rhythm. it takes a few weeks to figure out a routine. i wash walls as need be or make the kids do them once a month. they touched them and made the honest mistake of using the wall and not paper for that drawing....

some things are only needed to be washed monthly....curtains or blinds...

dont wash the dog....take him to the groomers.


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## greenpearl

Life in general, don't strive to be excellent, but be better than average, good Buddhism teaching, relieves a lot of pressure on people!


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## Shianne

Wow. I will tell you that you are just plain spoiled and that if you can you do need another maid!
I have a hard time offering up sympathy for you though. I went through my phase of acceptance when I realized that my house was never going to be as clean as before the kids until after the kids... If each room is clean once a day, I am just fine. I also home-school 2 girls that are easy to teach and 1 boy with autism that is not easy to teach. 5 people x 3 meals and 2 snacks a day = a lot of dishes. I can't keep up and see what my great aunt meant when she said that she knew it was time to make lunch because she just finished cleaning up after breakfast. She had 8 kids...


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## Mom6547

Shianne, good on you for home schooling. We did a stint. It was awesome. No the kids are back in school. But anyway, good for you. A lot of hard work.


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## sweetpea

Please remember there are people from all over the world that post on the TAM. Other countries will have different cultural norms than in your country. For example, having a live in maid can very common in some parts of the world and in the United States it can be seen as luxury for the very wealthy.


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## Mom6547

sweetpea said:


> Please remember there are people from all over the world that post on the TAM. Other countries will have different cultural norms than in your country. For example, having a live in maid can very common in some parts of the world and in the United States it can be seen as luxury for the very wealthy.


Not speaking for anyone else but myself here. That something is a cultural norm is not necessarily a good reason to continue to do it. In this country it would be considered culturally normal to do some things I think are pretty awful. It is normal to spank one's children (though thankfully more and more people are getting away from that). It is culturally normal to give hairy eyeballs to women who nurse in public in some areas. It is culturally normal to do some awful stuff in the name religion. 

So with that in mind, while it may be culturally normal to have a live in maid in southern Asia, MsLonley came here asking for input on how exhausting it is and how do others do it since that is the situation she finds herself in with no maid. Unfortunately she chooses to say can't, can't, can't instead of taking some halfway decent advice. So I guess she stays exhausted and not sexy with her husband.

I don't care WHAT culture you are in. In my opinion, catering to a 16 year old child like she is a 2yo (cleaning up her cookie crumbs?!?!?) is not good for that 16 year old. It is 150% in every 16yo's interest to learn to be responsible for their own cookie crumbs. Just my two cents. Actually my 2yos cleaned up their own cookie crumbs come to think of it.


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## Trenton

I think our culture needs to instill this idea of maids being the norm. I think men would find their wives far more likely to be as horny as they'd like them to be.

MsLonely, stick it out and get it done, keep telling yourself you only have a few months before your current situation ends and endure. Be extra diligent in getting good help that you can trust so that you can regain your own sense of contentment and not be back in this situation in another year.


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## Mom6547

Trenton said:


> I think our culture needs to instill this idea of maids being the norm. I think men would find their wives far more likely to be as horny as they'd like them to be.


I KNOW this is a pet thing of mine. I cannot for the life of me understand why someone would pay someone to do something that they can do themselves. My husband wants me to call a repair man for the washing machine. I can't understand why. They have schematics for this kind of thing on the internet. It is a simple valve. 

What does an unemployed Mom whose child is long past diapers DO all day if they have a maid? I can not even deal with all my empty time since the 2 weeks my kids have been back in school. I cannot imagine having no housework to do, at least.

Obviously the cultural expectation is different.


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## Trenton

vthomeschoolmom said:


> I KNOW this is a pet thing of mine. I cannot for the life of me understand why someone would pay someone to do something that they can do themselves. My husband wants me to call a repair man for the washing machine. I can't understand why. They have schematics for this kind of thing on the internet. It is a simple valve.
> 
> What does an unemployed Mom whose child is long past diapers DO all day if they have a maid? I can not even deal with all my empty time since the 2 weeks my kids have been back in school. I cannot imagine having no housework to do, at least.
> 
> Obviously the cultural expectation is different.


Yes and you think exactly like my husband who recently did fix the dryer with the help of the internet. My question is always...aren't there things you'd rather be doing? So many, many great things out there to do and accomplish. Aren't you excited to get back to doing things that you like to do?

I only have one child left and can't wait for the free time but I can assure you I don't spend all day doing housework now. It's a tedious, non-thinking, repetitive job. It's the job that's never finished. Yuck.


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## Mom6547

Trenton said:


> Yes and you think exactly like my husband who recently did fix the dryer with the help of the internet. My question is always...aren't there things you'd rather be doing? So many, many great things out there to do and accomplish. Aren't you excited to get back to doing things that you like to do?


Yah we always have to be doing what we WANT and LIKE. 



> I only have one child left and can't wait for the free time but I can assure you I don't spend all day doing housework now. It's a tedious, non-thinking, repetitive job. It's the job that's never finished. Yuck.


So is life.


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## Trenton

vthomeschoolmom said:


> So is life.


The big difference being life is a whole lot more than just that.


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## Mom6547

Trenton said:


> The big difference being life is a whole lot more than just that.


Ya know. Some days it isn't. While I think passion and drive are wonderful things, I think that it is mentally healthy to balance that with an understanding and appreciation for the mundane. If you can find peace, and even joy, in the regular the mundane, life is always fun. You don't have to go climb mount Everest to feel accomplished. That you helped the elderly woman with her groceries is enough. 

Kids and I are going to strip down to the undies now and wash the floor on hands and knees. I have to use my knee pads. Getting old.


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## lime

It makes me sad to see so many women overwhelmed by housework. I definitely do get overwhelmed with chores and busywork as well, but I would really like to put things in perspective here. 

I don't have a dishwasher--my SO and I (well mostly my SO!) wash all of our dishes in a tiny sink by hand. I don't have laundry in my apartment--I have to go to the bank, get quarters, then walk down 3 and a half flights of stairs and go to the laundromat down the street every time I do laundry. I also do chores at other peoples' houses when I nanny part-time, which includes cleaning up spilled juicy juice, putting away toys, and the like. And it sure does get tedious at times, but I always think: I honestly can't wait until I have a regular job and kids instead of all of the multiple things I am juggling right now! 

I know it's tough to appreciate what you have, but the fact that you own a dishwasher and a washing machine and dryer is a blessing in some ways! I know it can be tough picking up after kids or mopping the floor for the zillionth time, but I can tell you right away that it sucks WAY less to pick up after your own kids than kids that aren't your own...And it's way less awful to clean your own house than someone else's.

Also, KIDS SHOULD FREAKIN DO THEIR OWN CHORES!!! I cannot even begin to tell you about the vast numbers of incompetent individuals at my college--smart kids, but they don't even know how to boil water. DON'T let your kids end up like them! Teach them the necessary skills they'll need for adulthood and life in general--it will benefit everyone involved.


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## MarriedWifeInLove

I hate to say this, but you sound spoiled.

I've lived overseas and had a maid before too - but I looked at it as a privilege, not a right.

And why in the world are you doing a FULL housecleaning often?

Normally, things are done in stages.

Everyday you clean the kitchen, tidy up the bathrooms, make the beds, take out the trash, maybe run the vacuum and/or mop if you have carpet or hardwood floors that get dirty easily. 

Washing sheets should be done once a week.

Washing windows, curtains, etc., are a once-a-month type thing (at least in my house).

Ironing, in my house is as it's needed. I iron clothes the night before to wear to work the next day.

Good grief women - you're wearing yourself out! Slow down, do it all in stages.


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## lime

MarriedWifeInLove said:


> Ironing, in my house is as it's needed. I iron clothes the night before to wear to work the next day.


Another option: get wrinkle-release fabrics!  Then no ironing will be necessary!


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## MarriedWifeInLove

lime said:


> Another option: get wrinkle-release fabrics!  Then no ironing will be necessary!


:iagree: Do it as much as I can!


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## greenpearl

lime said:


> Another option: get wrinkle-release fabrics!  Then no ironing will be necessary!


Hey, that's what I do, I don't like buying shirts I have to iron. 


House cleaning is actually pretty easy for me because I do it daily, like MWIL said. It takes me about ten minutes if I just want to keep it up, 30 minutes if I want to do a more thorough job. I have a small apartment, that helps a lot. 

I always feel great after I clean my apartment, it feels nice to live in a neat and organized place. 

I also feel great after I cook a nice meal, feel I can do many things. 

I never feel doing these things tiring, I only feel joy that I can give us a nice quality life style with spending very little.


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## Mom6547

greenpearl said:


> Hey, that's what I do, I don't like buying shirts I have to iron.
> 
> 
> House cleaning is actually pretty easy for me because I do it daily, like MWIL said. It takes me about ten minutes if I just want to keep it up, 30 minutes if I want to do a more thorough job. I have a small apartment, that helps a lot.


It is SOOOO much easier now that the kids are in school. They aren't here all day messing it up!


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## greenpearl

In Taiwan, people do have maids, but they are usually for looking after the old and sick. 

Healthy well off people may have housekeepers, they don't have live in maids. 

And I find her life to be exhausting too with a live in maid, just look at how paranoid she is when she thinks that the maid might steal some time. They fired the maid because she found out her sneaking out of the apartment. And no privacy. people are doing their best to live alone so they can enjoy some privacy, here some people are paying money to get rid of their privacy. And with the money I save on a maid, we can go traveling, that is really money wasted if one can do it herself.


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## greenpearl

vthomeschoolmom said:


> It is SOOOO much easier now that the kids are in school. They aren't here all day messing it up!


Yes, when you have toddlers, it is more difficult to keep the house neat, they tend to make a big mess. After they become bigger, it is just a routine like cooking meals and doing their laundry.


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## Mom6547

greenpearl said:


> Yes, when you have toddlers, it is more difficult to keep the house neat, they tend to make a big mess. After they become bigger, it is just a routine like cooking meals and doing their laundry.


Not toddlers! I home schooled a 4th and 1st grader. They eat like crazy, generating breakfast, lunch, snack and dinner messes. They paint. They have school work out. Oy! Luckily they also know how to take care of their own messes. Still you have to drive them through it a bit.


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## greenpearl

vthomeschoolmom said:


> Not toddlers! I home schooled a 4th and 1st grader. They eat like crazy, generating breakfast, lunch, snack and dinner messes. They paint. They have school work out. Oy! Luckily they also know how to take care of their own messes. Still you have to drive them through it a bit.


Yes, that's understandable. You are liking having a classroom there, how many neat classrooms have you seen?

It is a good opportunity to teach them to be organized though!


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## Tool

Your Husband has it made lol.

My Wife never has to clean a thing in the house, as soon as I get home I don't stop moving till the place is all cleaned up. Every evening im chasing down my little ones cleaning up after them.

Typically though im on top of it, so it never gets too messy..


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## Mom6547

Tool said:


> Your Husband has it made lol.
> 
> My Wife never has to clean a thing in the house, as soon as I get home I don't stop moving till the place is all cleaned up. Every evening im chasing down my little ones cleaning up after them.


Does she work out of the home? Why would you clean up after your children?


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## SimplyAmorous

MarriedWifeInLove said:


> I hate to say this, but you sound spoiled.
> 
> I've lived overseas and had a maid before too - but I looked at it as a privilege, not a right.
> 
> And why in the world are you doing a FULL housecleaning often?
> 
> Normally, things are done in stages.
> 
> Everyday you clean the kitchen, tidy up the bathrooms, make the beds, take out the trash, maybe run the vacuum and/or mop if you have carpet or hardwood floors that get dirty easily.
> 
> Washing sheets should be done once a week.
> 
> Washing windows, curtains, etc., are a once-a-month type thing (at least in my house).
> 
> Ironing, in my house is as it's needed. I iron clothes the night before to wear to work the next day.
> 
> Good grief women - you're wearing yourself out! Slow down, do it all in stages.


 I have not read all of this just a few posts here & there but I have got to agree with this :iagree: 

We are living in a time with SOOO many blessings - like washing machines, dryers , microwave ovens, dishwashers, Weed wackers, Ride on movers. Just imagine life before these wonderful inventions & what women's toil was! 

We are so spoiled !! 

I have 6 kids, a huge old farmhouse, I sometimes mow 3 acres of land by myself before my husband gets home after work to save him the trouble, I dont have a dishwasher- by choice. You can imagine all the preparing, cooking, cleaning up time I must do, and the tornado atmsphere of a house with this many children, not to mention the Laundry. 

In the beginning of our marraige, I didn't even care to own a Dryer & I used cloth diapers ! (anything to save $$ was my motto back then). But once I got one, there is not going back now, Love not having to iron all those t-shirts! We even pick our own berries & I take the time to make homemade pies. 

I am not as neat as I used to be-before kids, but a pretty darn good housekeeper considering my large family. I get very very annoyed when my house is in disarray. I have to vaccum about 2 times a day, everything must be put away before I go to bed, or I could not sleep. 

If you are a stay at home Mom, for the life of me, I can not understand how ANYONE would need Housekeeper help. Unless maybe you have Octuplets or something. 

Why must everything be so **** & span sparkling clean -every day? Living is a little messy sometimes. I have relatives who their houses are SO clean, you are afraid to sit down lest you move a couch pillow out of it's place. The most inviting - hospitable homes are the ones that are a little disheveled, somehow the atmosphere is more comforting. Having a lived in look --is simply OK.


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## Tool

vthomeschoolmom said:


> Does she work out of the home? Why would you clean up after your children?


She has a full time job like I do, but I do 99 percent of the house work.


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## greenpearl

Tool said:


> She has a full time job like I do, but I do 99 percent of the house work.


Don't want to make you feel bad. 

When the husband and wife both work, it is only fair that they both share house chores! 

But if you are happy doing what you are doing, no need to create more dramas in your life! 

My husband and I share house chores, I cook, he does the dishes, it is a good arrangement. Sometimes he doesn't want to do the dishes, then I get to take a break too!


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## Trenton

vthomeschoolmom said:


> Ya know. Some days it isn't. While I think passion and drive are wonderful things, I think that it is mentally healthy to balance that with an understanding and appreciation for the mundane. If you can find peace, and even joy, in the regular the mundane, life is always fun. You don't have to go climb mount Everest to feel accomplished. That you helped the elderly woman with her groceries is enough.
> 
> Kids and I are going to strip down to the undies now and wash the floor on hands and knees. I have to use my knee pads. Getting old.


I couldn't agree with you more actually.


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## Freak On a Leash

:scratchhead: Wow, this is an illustrative thread. Culture shock...

I have two teenagers. 16 year old girl and 13 year old boy. My daughter is up at 6 am, gets into the shower, makes her own breakfast and lunch, gets her stuff together and I drop her off from school. Then I get the son up, he gets dressed and I take him to school (he eats at school). 

I work out during the time the kids are getting ready and then get myself to work and work from 9-6pm. Somehow I manage to have a clean house. At least it looks clean to me. I do a bit here and there and MY KIDS CLEAN UP AFTER THEMSELVES.

What's this crap about me cleaning up after them? Doesn't happen. They each have an allowance and if they don't their chores they don't get the allowance. My kids make their beds, my son takes out the garbage and my daughter vacuums. My daughter does her own laundry. Everyone wipes up after themselves. I clean up here and there as needed. 

My husband was a bit of slob when we were living together. He worked more than me and assumed that I should clean up more. I didn't have any problem with that but he was ALWAYS leaving his mess around to clean up. He'd eat something and he'd leave the dishes and food for me to clean. He'd let things pile up. Drove me crazy. It's amazing how clean my house is now that he's no longer living with us. Weird thing is, HIS house is quite clean. I guess he's figured out that he has to clean it or it'll just be dirty. 

My mother was a clean freak. Drove everyone nuts. AND she had maids too. I vowed I wouldn't make life miserable for myself and my kids all in the name of cleanliness. Life is too short to obsess about a little dirt. I'd rather live with the dirt then die young worrying about it. 

Suck it up, take a chill pill when it comes to having a perfect house or get another maid is my advice.


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## Trenton

SA, we don't have a dishwasher either. The meals and the clean up don't actually bother me that much. I LOVE the family time around the table and I like cleaning up while the kids continue to chatter about their days and ask questions with me. 

Laundry though...I really, really, really, really, really, really hate it!


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## greenpearl

Western cooking has a lot of dishes, my mother-in-law and sister-in-law don't have dishwashers, watching them doing the dishes is pain for me. I felt embarrassed that I didn't help them. I don't like doing dishes, I kept on pressuring my husband to do the dishes for my mother-in-law.


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## Shianne

I love laundry!! The piles of clean clothes really feel like I have won the battle. The machines do all the work and you can come and go from it as needed. I do not like dishes since it seems like everytime I do someone does something that makes me have to stop and dry off. LOL It has become my best sibling fight stopper though. "Don't make me come grab you with wet soapy hands!" I have done it and they hate it lol.


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## major misfit

My mother was a clean freak as well. I just wanted a more relaxed home than the one I grew up in, so I wasn't as picky as she was. I'm still not. I hate housework, I've been doing it all my life and I simply don't want to do it anymore! It *has* to be done, but it gets done when I get ready to do it.

I live in a rural area, with a decent sized yard. A lot of times there's a bunch of boys in my back yard. That means DIRT. Lots of it. So I have to learn to live with some of that, or clean all the time. I elect to not clean all the time.

I did (and still do) the same thing VT did..my kids would put their bathing suits on to "mop" the floor. It was fun for them, and the floor got clean! Win-win situation. My sister told me I have an "unusual" way of doing things. Beats the heck outta sclupping around with a mop. Years and years ago "they" said if you could find a way to make housework fun, the kids would be more willing to participate. I still haven't found a way to make doing dishes fun, though. 

I don't think we're "spoiled" for having modern conveniences. Someone invented a washing machine, and I'm the lucky beneficiary of that technology. Same thing goes for dishwashers, or any other appliance that is used on a daily basis. I just don't think that makes me spoiled. That would be like saying we're spoiled b/c we have electricity.

I can tell you this much...if I could afford for someone to come in regularly to clean, I'd hire someone. But I'd have to have a ton of disposable income. We'd have to be making high six figures. I don't see that happening, so I'll just have to keep doing it myself, with the others doing their parts as well.


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## SimplyAmorous

I do my dishes on the run, a little here , a little there, as I am cooking, I wash the pans , mixer beaters (etc) ,as soon as I am done with them- so they are out of the way, this way I never have a mountain of dishes. 

I should make my kids do more chores, but sometimes that seems more hassle than it is worth. They do take care of the Dog & cat & tidy their rooms. 

I do the majority of housework as I walk around the house, rarely having a planned day of Housework on the agenda. Like If I walk into their bathroom & see toothpaste on the floor, how they missed the toilet seat, whatever disaster awaits me--- Depending on thier carelessness, I demand they come immediately to clean their mess, or I do it --all before I leave that room. ..... I have burned things on the stove doing this though ! I might run upstairs , see a mess, momentarily forget about what I was doing - open the oven to a burnt casserole. This was when my timer broke. Didn't take long to invest in a few LOUD timers to avoid these disasters. 

If I pass the laundry on the way out of the bathroom, & it is coming out of the basket, I just haul it downstairs & just do it -any day, anytime, even sometimes at Midnight if I am up! Just when it needs. 

My grandmother used to have a Particular DAY set for laundry, cleaning, canning, shopping and it was like an inconvenience if someone requested her presence or wanted to make plans on her "laundry" day. From an early age - I just felt that was insanity. 

My housework, cooking, laundry, grocery shopping, cutting grass, etc revolves around My schedule, husbands schedule & the kids. This just makes life easier . 

We even used to have a Wood Coal furnace, at our last house, we purposely installed one to save on Gas heat, now that was some work, all that gathering of wood & around the clock -stoking the furnace. We have so many modern conveninces today. 

I have never minded cleaning & and playing the Housewife Role at all. (But I do not work so this helps!) When I did work part-time, I still still most everything , I had only 1 child then, so it was pretty easy to keep up. 

I enjoy my days - organizing, sorting, planning, having my computer in the kitchen on TAM inbetween chores & cooking. In the past I would listen to Talk radio much of the day, or watch soap operas. So long as my mind was engaged on something while I am "doing" my wifely role, I am happy. I never get bored being a housewife. I like to have it all done by the time he gets home. So we can relax & enjoy that night. 

But I know some women just hate staying home. Drives them nuts. And if you have a job, or other hobbies outside the home, and can afford a "House cleaner", by all means -do it ! 

If we had the $$, I doubt I would get one though, I think all this running around the house , up & down the steps is GOOD Exercise!


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## Freak On a Leash

Trenton said:


> SA, we don't have a dishwasher either. The meals and the clean up don't actually bother me that much. I LOVE the family time around the table and I like cleaning up while the kids continue to chatter about their days and ask questions with me.
> 
> Laundry though...I really, really, really, really, really, really hate it!


No dishwasher.. That would suck. I have one of those "portable" dishwashers where you roll up to the sink and plug it in. The dishes would never get clean enough without a dishwasher. I have my hands in water all day and they suffer greatly this time of year because of the cold and dry air. Sometimes the literally hurt and crack and bleed and I have to bandage the tips to keep the pain bearable. I HAVE to have a dishwasher. 

I didn't mind laundry in my old house when I could run downstairs and do it but now having to walk across the apartment complex and PAY for doing is stinks. The machines are too small so it costs a fortune because you have to use more than one or use it several times. I often just do it over at my husband's house. My daughter insists on doing her laundry herself here at the complex so she'll throw in some of my stuff as well. 

Basically my big thing is the floor. If the floors are dirty and the rugs not vacuumed the house isn't clean. The rest of the house can be clean but if the rugs are dirty it'll drive me nuts. 

The move was the best thing. I got out of an old, cruddy house that was grimey and falling down around us (the plaster was literally coming off the ceilings) into a nice renovated apartment and I'm finding it much easier and more rewarding to keep it clean. It helps that I got rid of so much of our junk. Less clutter=less dust/dirt. I hate clutter. Fortunately the kids are pretty neat (especially my daughter) so it works out nice.


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## Mom6547

SimplyAmorous said:


> I have not read all of this just a few posts here & there but I have got to agree with this :iagree:
> 
> We are living in a time with SOOO many blessings - like washing machines, dryers , microwave ovens, dishwashers, Weed wackers, Ride on movers.


A little levity here...

Weed whackers and power mowers are tools of the devil! They pollute our environment. People complain about their weight, get gym memberships, then use power tools to do their labor! 

Yes, I do sometimes use our power mower. For shame, for shame. 

Back to your regularly scheduled forum.


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## Mom6547

Trenton said:


> SA, we don't have a dishwasher either. The meals and the clean up don't actually bother me that much. I LOVE the family time around the table and I like cleaning up while the kids continue to chatter about their days and ask questions with me.
> 
> Laundry though...I really, really, really, really, really, really hate it!


Me too. That is why I do it first every day. Once it is done, it no longer wears me down. And it never piles up to an impossible task.


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## greenpearl

I don't enjoy the process, I enjoy the result, so I do it. 

I do enjoy cooking now. We used to eat out on the weekends, now I have decided to cook on the weekends too. I can save a lot of money by cooking at home. 

But all of you have way more chores than I do, good for all of you!


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## MarriedWifeInLove

After my kids moved out (several years ago), I am not as diligent about housekeeping as I used to be.

We have a 3,000 sq ft home and at one time it was filled with 2 kids, 2 adults, 3 dogs, 2 cats and a bird and so housekeeping was a must!

But now, its just me and hubby and 3 small cats. A lot of house that is much less occupied. So I do tend to skip things sometimes. I don't vacuum as often, sometimes the dishes do stay in the sink overnight and I might skip the laundry one weekend too (we have enough clothes). So I have gotten a little lazy in my old age. At this point, I would drather spend the time doing something I want to do or spend it with my husband. 

We live out in the middle of nowhere so nobody comes over anyway - hubby doesn't care if the house is not AS CLEAN as it used to be and I don't want to be 6 ft under and wonder WHY I spent so much time "cleaning" and not enough time "living."


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## reachingshore

In that climate one has to clean up daily. Dust is ever-present. You wouldn't believe it, but the amount of dust accumulated there per day is that of almost 2 weeks in a 4 seasons climate. Another problem is bugs, ants to be specific. If you leave food on a counter overnight or even if there are crumbs left, the next morning you will have a whole colony of ants infesting your kitchen.

That being said, you being maid-less right now is a perfect opportunity to learn time management and organization skills for yourself and actually teach your kids a normal life. At 15 there is no way one doesn't know how to iron or why one shouldn't learn how to clean up after themselves or even make a light dish.

You really don't want your kid to actually learn how to be self-sufficient when she is by herself. Can you picture her at 20 and in college, say in the USA and not being even able to make scrambled eggs by herself? This happens to a lot of rich Indians' kids that end up arriving in the US for college. That's when they "discover" food doesn't get made by itself. I heard of people who didn't even know how to boil eggs!

Cultural differences or not, I am sorry to say that whining about "no maid"/"having to do housework by myself" to people that are not from that background is just uncouth 

If one has to import a maid to Singapore and it's that time-consuming, you should have first ensured you'd have a replacement and only then fired the current maid. Household staff also has a right to having a life, BTW.


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## Mom6547

reachingshore said:


> In that climate one has to clean up daily. Dust is ever-present. You wouldn't believe it, but the amount of dust accumulated there per day is that of almost 2 weeks in a 4 seasons climate. Another problem is bugs, ants to be specific. If you leave food on a counter overnight or even if there are crumbs left, the next morning you will have a whole colony of ants infesting your kitchen.


Totally. Everybody has to clean every day. I live in cold climate. We still have bugs in the summer and mice all year long if we leave food about. But nobody needs to clean EVERYTHING every day. It is a matter of prioritization.



> That being said, you being maid-less right now is a perfect opportunity to learn time management and organization skills for yourself and actually teach your kids a normal life. At 15 there is no way one doesn't know how to iron or why one shouldn't learn how to clean up after themselves or even make a light dish.


I agree with you 150%. You number one smaht guy. You go fah.

AND you might just wind up feeling proud of yourself for your new accomplishments!


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## WhereAmI

SimplyAmorous said:


> We are living in a time with SOOO many blessings - like washing machines, dryers , microwave ovens, dishwashers, Weed wackers, Ride on movers. Just imagine life before these wonderful inventions & what women's toil was!


And the magic eraser. Worth its weight in gold.


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## greenpearl

Chinese and Taiwanese value education a lot, she wants her daughter to focus on her study. It is a problem here, parents only want to see good grades, they are not teaching them anything about house keeping. 

In China, a lot of young people who were born in the 80's can't hold their marriages for a year because these spoiled ones don't know how to share with each other and care for the other, they only think for themselves. The rich are very snobbish, too. Chinese culture.

The maids are being hired to look after the old and sick, this is the custom here. Chinese and Taiwanese are taught to look after their parents when they are old, old parents usually live with the children, when they are sick and too much pressure for the children to take care of, the families hire maids. There are a lot of Philippina maids in Taiwan too. Taiwanese really look down on them. They look down on people from South East Asia, they look up to western people, and people from Japan and Korea. Sums up, they look up to people who are from rich countries, they look down on people who are from poor countries.


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## Mom6547

greenpearl said:


> Chinese and Taiwanese value education a lot, she wants her daughter to focus on her study. It is a problem here, parents only want to see good grades, they are not teaching them anything about house keeping.


I don't know how strenuous the work load is. But it is hard to image that "focus" needs to mean "only do". But I could be full of poo.


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## greenpearl

vthomeschoolmom said:


> I don't know how strenuous the work load is. But it is hard to image that "focus" needs to mean "only do". But I could be full of poo.


Children here have to go to public schools in the morning and afternoon, then in the evening, children are sent to private schools, studying more. Children don't go home until 9 or 10 o'clock at night. 

I benefit from this culture though, so really don't know what to say. 

Feel sorry for those kids. 

On the other hand, Taiwanese and Chinese young people are taught to give parents money after they start working, this is a good thing. FILIAL!


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## reachingshore

greenpearl said:


> Chinese and Taiwanese value education a lot, she wants her daughter to focus on her study. It is a problem here, parents only want to see good grades, they are not teaching them anything about house keeping.


I'd say it's a common Asian story. Kids not only don't know anything about daily chores, they also don't have time to relax and just be kids. Lots of kid suicides in e.g. India, because kids just can't take the pressure anymore. Expectations from parents regarding grades and education are just ridiculous sometimes.

My mother is all about education (We are European). She started teaching me how to read and write when I was 3-4. When I was 7-8 my father told me this story about his very brainy friend, who was all about books and learning. He never did anything but just study, so he was very frail. One day this friend rushed home, all joyous because he topped college entrance exams. He was running down the stairs, tripped and broke his neck. At 7-8 this story made a huge impression on me. I don't have to say that it was all made up as I found out much later LOL Just one of those stories to teach that balance in life is very important.


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## major misfit

WhereAmI said:


> And the magic eraser. Worth its weight in gold.


Clorox wipes...windex wipes...Pledge wipes...I'd be lost without my wipes!


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## greenpearl

reachingshore said:


> I'd say it's a common Asian story. Kids not only don't know anything about daily chores, they also don't have time to relax and just be kids. Lots of kid suicides in e.g. India, because kids just can't take the pressure anymore. Expectations from parents regarding grades and education are just ridiculous sometimes.
> 
> My mother is all about education (We are European). She started teaching me how to read and write when I was 3-4. When I was 7-8 my father told me this story about his very brainy friend, who was all about books and learning. He never did anything but just study, so he was very frail. One day this friend rushed home, all joyous because he topped college entrance exams. He was running down the stairs, tripped and broke his neck. At 7-8 this story made a huge impression on me. I don't have to say that it was all made up as I found out much later LOL Just one of those stories to teach that balance in life is very important.


A lot of kids in Taiwan and China commit suicides too. Some parents beat their children to death just because they didn't meet their expectation. Children give themselves a lot of pressure too because of the competition.


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## major misfit

I'm just wondering what do they DO with all this education? I understand the obvious benefits of higher learning, but to be in school until 10pm? I don't understand that. Where is the balance? 

Greenpearl...I'd like to ask something, if you don't mind. Does the government get involved in education there like they do here? And if so, to what degree?


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## reachingshore

Something my husband told me once.. If you ask women from different areas of the world what they would want a dream man to have/be like, all their answers would pretty much amount to "money". I don't remember exactly what examples my husband used, but for sure when it comes to Asian women, he said they'd answer "education". Education = money = financial stability = good comfortable life.

The more educated one is, the more chances of a very good career, a very good paycheck etc. Of course it isn't always so. There is also truth in saying that the more intelligent one is, the more lazy they tend to be. It just doesn't take much for such a person to succeed, so why make that extra effort?

Asians are known for the value they place on education, as a group. But it's not limited to them only. Like I said, my mother is huge on education. When I was 8 and in 3rd grade I was at regular public school for something like 8-9 hours on some days. On other days with less school I went directly to a private English teaching classes. Till today I remember the hunger and taste of homemade sandwiches quickly gobbled up on the way to English classes. On those days there simply wasn't time to have proper lunch or dinner. I absolutely don't blame my mother for it. I clearly benefited from it. Weirdly it was also fun. I was obsessed with learning English, LOL.

Going back to Asians. One has to wonder why there are so many MDs coming from there. India's older generation puts pressure on kids to actually study to be either a MD or an engineer. Other professions are often looked down upon. My father-in-law was actually criticized for "allowing" his son to study business 20 years ago ("allowing" - that was the exact word used). For Indians saying "My son is a doctor" carries the message; nothing else needs to be said. Funnily, a profession very much coveted in the west - that is being a lawyer - is still poo-pooed in India.


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## SimplyAmorous

WhereAmI said:


> And the magic eraser. Worth its weight in gold.


I don't even know what this is! I noticed someone talking about all kinds of "wipes". I personally would never buy anything like that, too much of a $$ waster. "Baby wipes" has been my only purchased wipes, I even used to make those in the beginning- for our 1st baby. 

I am all for getting an old rag & doing it all the old fashioned way. I do not even like using a mop on my kitchen floor, I prefer to get on my hands & knees, no swiffer is going to get every crumb & those corners anyway. 

One thing I could not live without is a can of "Bar Keepers Friend" though, so many uses! Amazon.com: Bar Keepers Friend® Cleanser & Polish: 12 OZ: Health & Personal Care

And if anyone is looking to buy a new Vacumm, I have a recommendation to make your life & cleaning easier - this is the sweetest thing I ever "sucked" with, I was SOOO impressed with this vaccum, I even left a review for it . Amazon.com: Shark Navigator Upright Bagless Vacuum Cleaner, NV22L: Kitchen & Dining


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## major misfit

I'm the one with the "wipes" issues, lol. I'm just perfectly willing to spend the $$ in order to make things a bit easier. They are wonderful for quick clean ups inbetween heavier scrubbings. I'm way past the time when I did anything and everything to save a buck. Too tired and broken down these days to do so.


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## Mom6547

major misfit said:


> I'm the one with the "wipes" issues, lol. I'm just perfectly willing to spend the $$ in order to make things a bit easier.


My beef with them is that they go straight into the land fill.


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## greenpearl

major misfit said:


> I'm just wondering what do they DO with all this education? I understand the obvious benefits of higher learning, but to be in school until 10pm? I don't understand that. Where is the balance?
> 
> Greenpearl...I'd like to ask something, if you don't mind. Does the government get involved in education there like they do here? And if so, to what degree?


The government here provides 9 years of public education, not like the United States, 12 years. They want to adopt that idea though, but right now they don't have money for this huge project. As long as how much the government is involved, I think it is similar. 

Kids here have to go to cram schools not because of the government, but because of the culture, people want their children to be book smart. They want their children to be able to compete with others, actually beat others. Others are going to cram schools, if you don't go, then you do lag behind, unless you are one of the smartest students. It is a vicious circle here, since it is so expensive to raise a child here, newly married couples don't want children, if they do want children, they want only one child. Taiwan is one place where they have the lowest birth rate. I think Taiwan's birth rate is the same as Germany's!

Private schools(cram schools) are a big industry here, there are so many schools, they provide so many jobs, the government doesn't even dare to risk closing this industry. If there were no cram schools, parents would look for tutors. Taiwanese and Chinese parents spend a lot of money on their children's education.


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## greenpearl

reachingshore said:


> Something my husband told me once.. If you ask women from different areas of the world what they would want a dream man to have/be like, all their answers would pretty much amount to "money". I don't remember exactly what examples my husband used, but for sure when it comes to Asian women, he said they'd answer "education". Education = money = financial stability = good comfortable life.


Yes, you husband is right about what he said. 

In US, I think girls like to date the athletes, here in Taiwan and China, girls want to marry the smartest ones in class.


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## Mom6547

greenpearl said:


> Yes, you husband is right about what he said.
> 
> In US, I think girls like to date the athletes, here in Taiwan and China, girls want to marry the smartest ones in class.


I learned to earn my own money. I wanted love and humor.


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## Mom6547

Oh and great sex.


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## greenpearl

vthomeschoolmom said:


> I learned to earn my own money. I wanted love and humor.


Most Chinese and Taiwanese women are working now, they make their own money, but it is still their dream to marry a rich man. Vanity!


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## greenpearl

vthomeschoolmom said:


> Oh and great sex.


I don't know how much they love sex, most Chinese and Taiwanese men are very conservative in this regard, they are sweat pigs in bed, I can say, they don't know how to arouse their wives. Sex is totally for their pleasure. 

Women are taught to use sex as a tool to get what they want!


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## Mom6547

greenpearl said:


> Most Chinese and Taiwanese women are working now, they make their own money, but it is still their dream to marry a rich man. Vanity!


Insanity. Life is too important to waste on trivial pursuits.


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## greenpearl

vthomeschoolmom said:


> Insanity. Life is too important to waste on trivial pursuits.


They don't know that. 

Women who marry rich men usually end up having a lonely life. They have a lot of jewelry and brand name stuff though!


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## reachingshore

I play lottery but I don't base my actual expenditures on a minuscule chance of hitting the jackpot LOL

Still it's nice to daydream what I'd spend that money on LOL


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## greenpearl

reachingshore said:


> I play lottery but I don't base my actual expenditures on a minuscule chance of hitting the jackpot LOL
> 
> Still it's nice to daydream what I'd spend that money on LOL


Marrying rich men was my dream when I was young. After I turned 30, avoiding rich men was what I did! 

Seen too many miserable wives who marry rich men. Those men don't spend time at home, they cheat, they take their wives for granted. Their wives are to stay at home to look after the old and young.


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## Mom6547

greenpearl said:


> They don't know that.
> 
> Women who marry rich men usually end up having a lonely life. They have a lot of jewelry and brand name stuff though!


Oh goodie.


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## major misfit

vthomeschoolmom said:


> My beef with them is that they go straight into the land fill.


So you used cloth diapers on your kids? When you buy produce, you don't place it in a plastic bag? You carry reusable canvas bags for your groceries? You don't buy frozen items b/c they're either in cardboard or plastic? You don't buy bottled water? There are many, many things that end up in landfills.


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## WhereAmI

major misfit said:


> So you used cloth diapers on your kids? When you buy produce, you don't place it in a plastic bag? You carry reusable canvas bags for your groceries? You don't buy frozen items b/c they're either in cardboard or plastic? You don't buy bottled water? There are many, many things that end up in landfills.


I think every little bit that someone does counts. I cloth diaper, use reusable bags, don't buy bottled water, make my own cleaners, use rags, recycle, etc. However, I still take long showers, consume meat, buy those lovely magic erasers, occasionally bleach our whites, etc.

I'm messing up the Earth in my own way, but doing my best where I can. It isn't an all or nothing way of life.


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## major misfit

WhereAmI said:


> I think every little bit that someone does counts. I cloth diaper, use reusable bags, don't buy bottled water, make my own cleaners, use rags, recycle, etc. However, I still take long showers, consume meat, buy those lovely magic erasers, occasionally bleach our whites, etc.
> 
> I'm messing up the Earth in my own way, but doing my best where I can. It isn't an all or nothing way of life.


I do what I can where I can as well. The fact is that almost everything you use will end up in a landfill. Some things decompose faster than others, and some not at all. I choose to use things that simplify my life. I just love it when someone wants to gripe about my use of paper plates and plastic cups (my daughters), but buys disposable diapers and baby wipes. For starters. The old people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones kinda thing.


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## Mom6547

greenpearl said:


> I don't know how much they love sex, most Chinese and Taiwanese men are very conservative in this regard, they are sweat pigs in bed, I can say, they don't know how to arouse their wives. Sex is totally for their pleasure.
> 
> Women are taught to use sex as a tool to get what they want!


Old school US here as well. I remember a friend of mine's Mom talking to me about having his favorite dinner ready in a lingerie blah blah right before asking for something. Why on EARTH would I have to ask my husband if I could buy ... I forget what. Something small.

If I want something, I ask.... Crazy talk!


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## Freak On a Leash

My husband was far from wealthy and he was inattentive for years..:rofl:


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## greenpearl

Freak On a Leash said:


> My husband was far from wealthy and he was inattentive for years..:rofl:


You are really in a cheerful mood. 

Your example tells me it is better to live alone than living with somebody who is emotionally distant!


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## greenpearl

I don't know about others, but for the rich men I have known, they have many companies to look after, it means they have to spend a lot of time on their business, they have to go traveling a lot, when they do have time, they spend time partying and drinking. Women are not their priorities, they like women, they like a lot of them, they keep on having mistresses, they even have more than one mistress at the same time. Of course, this is my impression about Chinese rich men, I don't know about westerners. I don't think they are much better!


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## Ooogles

That's true. You know what's working for my sister? An older, very wealthy man. He's attractive but she's hot, and he treats her like a princess because he hit jackpot. He's always thinking that he better adore her or she'll leave. And he's right. Think Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas. He adores her.


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## SimplyAmorous

Ooogles said:


> That's true. You know what's working for my sister? An older, very wealthy man. He's attractive but she's hot, and he treats her like a princess because he hit jackpot. He's always thinking that he better adore her or she'll leave. And he's right. Think Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas. He adores her.


And she IS using him for his $$. Of coarse he knows he better adore her. I will never understand this. I guess it makes the man feel good having that trophy wife. If I was him, I would feel belittled, used and always on the look out. 

I am not bothered what others do if that "works" for them, but I could NEVER do it - rather be in mushy romantic whirlwind with *equal* desirous physcial attraction going on and live in a borrowed shack any day. 

I could never marry for wealth.


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## Ooogles

Actually, she is in a whirlwind romance with him. She's no trophy wife, as a matter of fact not a wife at all. I have never seen her happier than she is now. :>)


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## kendra2705

Why do us women have to do it all??? if you are a SAHM then good for you as women take on too much and work as well. Some woman find it easier than others to do it all while others just couldn't cope. Take some time out for yourself x


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## Freak On a Leash

greenpearl said:


> You are really in a cheerful mood.
> 
> Your example tells me it is better to live alone than living with somebody who is emotionally distant!


:iagree: :smthumbup: EXACTLY. Learned that the hard way but learned it I did. 

Better to walk upon the path of life alone then to be walk next to someone who makes you feel lonely. 

And yes, generally I'm a cheery person.


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## Freak On a Leash

SimplyAmorous said:


> And she IS using him for his $$. Of coarse he knows he better adore her. I will never understand this. I guess it makes the man feel good having that trophy wife. If I was him, I would feel belittled, used and always on the look out.
> 
> I could never marry for wealth.


You assumed that she is using him for wealth but maybe she's IS in love with him? Just because she's younger and beautiful doesn't mean she's shallow and materialistic. 

Last weekend there was a couple at the club I was at and there was this older guy, nothing much to look at, but he was FUN. He was dancing up a storm and cheery and fun.... and you could see he loved his woman and I thought "Man, I wish I could find a guy like that." (Thought I DID have a guy like that but that's gone now ). 

Anyway, just because a guy is older doesn't mean a younger woman can't want/love him. I would've gone out with that guy in a second. 

If he has the bucks, so much the better because we could have even MORE fun.. but that wouldn't have been my main incentive for being with him. 

My husband has more money now then he used to but he's not the man I want to be with. Money doesn't equate to happiness, as the old saying goes.


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## SimplyAmorous

Freak On a Leash said:


> You assumed that she is using him for wealth but maybe she's IS in love with him? Just because she's younger and beautiful doesn't mean she's shallow and materialistic.
> 
> .


It is the WAY it was worded ..... (quote).... "He's always thinking that he better adore her or she'll leave. And he is right. "

The "and he is right" doesn't sound very loving or equal to me. Just my initial thoughts.


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## greenpearl

kendra2705 said:


> Why do us women have to do it all??? if you are a SAHM then good for you as women take on too much and work as well. Some woman find it easier than others to do it all while others just couldn't cope. Take some time out for yourself x


If both of them work, both of them should share housework. May not be 50/50, but they both have to do housework, because both of them attribute to financial security. 

A lot of women have two jobs, one is at home and the other one is at work. Do you know? Women today are not happier than our great grandmothers because they are so stressed in their life, stress is something can really wear us down. These women's husbands should help them out instead of wearing them out, they just have to think: If their wives are sick because of too much work, it's not good for them. 

If the wife is a stay at home mom, her job is at home, being a loving and capable wife, she can do a great job at home, but the man who makes money has to respect her, love her, and cherish her, because it is her sacrifice giving him a nice life! 

I am so ideal, life is not that beautiful. If it is, then we don't need to have so many problems in life!


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## Ooogles

SimplyAmorous said:


> It is the WAY it was worded ..... (quote).... "He's always thinking that he better adore her or she'll leave. And he is right. "
> 
> The "and he is right" doesn't sound very loving or equal to me. Just my initial thoughts.


Actually it means that she won't take any poor treatment. He thinks her confidence is sexy.


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## SimplyAmorous

Ooogles said:


> Actually it means that she won't take any poor treatment.


I can't compain with that, cause neither would I. I guess it is easier for her, as she is not married to him. Once you get married though, have a few kids, it is alot harder for some to just up & leave.


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## Freak On a Leash

SimplyAmorous said:


> It is the WAY it was worded ..... (quote).... "He's always thinking that he better adore her or she'll leave. And he is right. "
> 
> The "and he is right" doesn't sound very loving or equal to me. Just my initial thoughts.


Ahhh..I didn't catch that. Good eye. :iagree:

I guess you could read it to mean several things. The fact that they aren't married changes a lot.


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## major misfit

Greenpearl, I think you and I have the same opinion of rich men. I think it takes a certain personality type and mindset to become exceedingly wealthy in the first place, and my personality wouldn't mesh with what I perceive that kind of person to be like. 

BTW...I've known western men who were like "sweat pigs" in bed as well...


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