# In Need of Advice



## NWIN (Mar 2, 2010)

Hello - thank you in advance for listening. I have been married about 2 1/2 years; my wife is 15 years younger than me. When we married, I was away for 4 months, relocated to her hometown where her sister lived with us. I found a job in another state and my wife did not come out for 6 months. So, we have only been together, really, for a short time.

I was served divorce papers last week and her parents were there the next day to take her back home. I am in pain as I want our marriage to work. She said she was not emotionally connected. Perhaps that is true. I just wanted to take care of her. I paid all bills while she looked for a job. I never asked her for any help, knowing I just wanted her to do what she needed to do. 

She says I never talked about goals and dreams. I was just trying to keep a roof over us. She planned a vacation with her friends and i questioned to myself how she could be thinking this. Knowing how important that is to her and to help our marriage I made personal sacrifices to make her happy.

I also think her parents added to our situation. They always wanted her to come home and during our time this past 6 months she went home three times. Again, I know this was important. Plus, I was not the same religion as her or of political philosophy. Her parents told me that we are too different. Maybe in their minds.

She told me that she just wants to be happy and that all she wanted was for me to be there for her emotionally. I have asked that we do counseling, via the phone, as I am 12 hours away. I waited 43 years to get married and don't want to give up. 

She quit touching me after she spent time at home - I did not know how to handle her crying, but I just touched her to let her know that I was there. It wan;t enough....thanks you for listening.


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## Cgreene21 (Feb 11, 2010)

Wow bro, it looks like the odds are stacked against you here, and I feel for you. Between the overall distance and the fact that her parents are pushing her for the divorce, this is going to be tough no matter what happens.

Right now I'd just give it some time. Don't smother her and bombard her with phone calls, just give her space and try to let her know that you're there when and if she needs you. Let her see for herself that you are the type of guy she wants in her life, and if she can't or will not, then as sad as it may seem, you're much better off.

Nows the time to start taking care of yourself...do things that you enjoy, spend time with family and friends, whatever it takes to keep yourself busy. Is there something you've always wanted to try and never got around to it? Nows a good time to try it! It may seem silly, but trust me, its better then beating yourself up.

Hang in there bro. You're not alone!


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