# not sure about this



## stephscarlett (Sep 2, 2015)

yesterday was a big sports day for hubby and his alma mater was playing in a very big game. A female co-worker has children going to this university. Mind you, we now live 350 miles from there, so it's not like many people here are fans. So, he texted with her a few times yesterday and sent a picture of himself with his jersey on and she sent one back of her (individually and with her family and kids) having a party. We had a party as well. 
I'm not threatened by this woman, mainly because of her looks. But, I still think it's pretty odd that he speaks about personal things with female co-workers, not to mention sharing pictures and texts!! I'm sure he is being friendly or whatever. But... SHE might interpret it differently. I just am stumped why he thinks this is appropriate. He showed me the pictures and the texts as they were coming in. But still... 
I am a former WW as well. I would NEVER do this... I'm pretty much done telling him what to do. I MIGHT say that it's kind of a bad precedent to set. HE thinks he's "safe" because she's not attractive. 
ok..... 
I did this once about 3 years ago - a male co-worker and I texted a couple times about our favorite drinks. I told hubby immediately and he was so pissed. He said, "never underestimate the power of a text." So, I'm kind of perplexed here why he would do this....


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

So there's a link there with her kids going to his university?

He got nasty about you texting a co-worker a while back?

Why were you texting him?

You are a former WW?

Who did you cheat on? 

Under what circumstances did you get together with your husband'?

Or was he the one you cheated on?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## stephscarlett (Sep 2, 2015)

Hubby and I have been married 28 years. I cheated 6 years ago. He cheated twice 4 years ago. We're in recovery... 
There was no link... Just pictures sent.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

stephscarlett said:


> Hubby and I have been married 28 years. I cheated 6 years ago. He cheated twice 4 years ago. We're in recovery...
> There was no link... Just pictures sent.


I see. So would his affairs have been revenge affairs or not?

Are you in MC?

If so then these interactions need to be factored in. 

You need to make him aware of how they made you feel.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## stephscarlett (Sep 2, 2015)

We were dismissed from MC about a year ago. Yes, sigh, I will let him know... But he should know better. He really should.


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

OP- I'm confused- Did he try to hide this from you or lie about it? Do they text frequently?

Based on the date you reference- was it the FCS national championship game (North Dakota State and Jacksonville State)?


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Isn't he the one who paid you back for your rape having a second affair? 

I must say I'm less than impressed by his character.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

lifeistooshort said:


> Isn't he the one who paid you back for your rape having a second affair?
> 
> I must say I'm less than impressed by his character.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Really? If so then that's less than helpful. To put it mildly.

There need to be consequences.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## stephscarlett (Sep 2, 2015)

workindad said:


> OP- I'm confused- Did he try to hide this from you or lie about it? Do they text frequently?


he did not lie about it or try to hide it. I have no idea if they text frequently. Probably not.


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## stephscarlett (Sep 2, 2015)

lifeistooshort said:


> Isn't he the one who paid you back for your rape having a second affair?
> 
> I must say I'm less than impressed by his character.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


well, I can't say for sure if he was paying me back. I don't know. He was sure angry I didn't protect myself... 
anyway, we BOTH NEED to be very protective of each other, at this point... IMO.


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## tpdallas (Aug 28, 2015)

Looks often have nothing to do with cheating.


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## Be smart (Feb 22, 2015)

Let him know you are not feeling ok with him texting this woman. If he cares about you he will stop.

Also he should stop talking about his/yours personal stuff with others. 
You are his wife-best friend and he should share it only with you. Same goes for you.

You dont have to be beautiful to have an Affair. You know that my Lady


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## stephscarlett (Sep 2, 2015)

He shared the same excitement with me. 
I know ppl don't have to be attractive, that's for sure. I think former waywards have to be very careful. What if SHE got the wrong impression? What if her husband walked by, saw her phone, with hubby's studly picture of himself with a jersey on.. Im just like, no! Don't DO that to ppl...


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