# Anybody else think 2013 sucks??



## angrybuttrying (Jun 17, 2013)

As we near year-end, the holiday season, etc. I can't help but think this has been the worst year of my life. Dday was early February, R began early May, triggers happen sometimes big sometimes small, family member likely may not be around by end of year (cancer), job performance dramatically and negatively impacted by EA - don't know if I can reverse the damage by end of year, etc.

All in all, a really bad year, one that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

It's really an effort to put a positive spin on things, but maybe there is??

Welcome other thoughts on this sh***y year!


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## BlueCalcite (Jul 15, 2013)

I think all of us whose "Join Date" at left contains the number 2013 are in agreement.


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## Lordhavok (Mar 14, 2012)

Hasnt been the greatest for me either, I'm really happy that my marriage is strong. I lost my best friend a month and a half ago, knew him for 23 years.


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

A strange combo of the worst and best year of my life. stbxw cheated and left. We got back together and attempted R, which I ended. Brutal pain losing my family unit and being betrayed. Total elation and relief not being with a crazy, wh*ring wife any more.

Wacky stuff.


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## bartendersfriend (Oct 14, 2013)

Agreed. I had been feeling that 2013 was a great year - things were good with business and I was really enjoying my family time. However, DDay hit in September and this has quickly become the worst year of my life. Although, knowing what I know now, the last several years were not what I thought they were either.


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## 4getmenot (Jan 24, 2013)

Yep, 2013 sucks. My D-day was in January. 

Worst year of my life. And that is pretty bad, considering I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2011 and for the next 2 years underwent multiple surgeries, chemo, and radiation.

I was happier during chemo than I am now, because I had an untarnished marriage and was blissfully in love with my husband. I still love him deeply, but it is clouded by pain. 

Betrayal is the cancer of marriage.


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## disconnected (May 30, 2013)

Worst year of my life, definitely. My marriage has ended ... I will never consider R. (WH has never wanted R anyway ... but I know for certain that I now do not want R - ever!)

Some good things have come out of this year though - my sister and I are the closest we have ever been. Her four sons and their partners have rallied around me. Once WH and I are divorced I will move near her. She gives me 100% support - she is 100% scathing of my WH ... and has some very ripe comments to make about OW! That is the type of support that keeps me going.

My four kids are hurt and confused, but now believe what WH has put me through. They are supporting me to an extent, but are still close to their Dad. 

I am leaving Asia within the next 6 weeks. My second daughter is having a baby in April and she and her husband want me to live with them to help with the new baby. My daughter is going to undertake full time uni study in 2014 so I will be caring for the baby while she is at lectures and studying. My 2 yr old grandson will go to crèche during lectures. My SIL is already a full time adult uni student.

It will be great to be full-time Nana for a year or so. 

Therefore I am looking forward to 2014 ... and every day is closer to divorce! As a Catholic divorce was always abhorrent to me, but not any more. 

About 11 weeks to go until 2014 ... I hope nothing else crops up between now and midnight 31 Dec!!


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

It's all in the eye of the beholder. The year your marriage falls apart or is severely damaged by infidelity may be one of the worst years of your life. So for me, 2013 is a good year. But the worst years for me are 1987 (first marriage) and 2010 (this one).


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

My mom and my son died this year. Yep, 2013 sucks.


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

Well how about this - if this year was the worst next year has to be better.


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## disconnected (May 30, 2013)

larry.gray said:


> My mom and my son died this year. Yep, 2013 sucks.


Truly sorry to hear this. 

My worst year pales compared to what you have been through this year. Yours is truly a worst year. I am so sorry.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

Definitely...

1) My dad died.

2) My wife had a 6 month affair.

3) I got divorced.

And there's still two and a half months left till 2014...


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## MovingAhead (Dec 27, 2012)

Larry,

So sorry to hear about your losses. I hope you are doing decent. That has got to be very tough.


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## MovingAhead (Dec 27, 2012)

BetrayedDad said:


> Definitely...
> 
> 1) My dad died.
> 
> ...


Very sorry to hear this. I'm sorry about your dad. I hope you are doing ok.


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## Labcoat (Aug 12, 2012)

For me it was 2012. 2013 has been amazing.

Why? Because there's a better life on the other side of all this ****. I can all but guarantee it.


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## angrybuttrying (Jun 17, 2013)

Great, but sad comments...

2013 for me:

1) Dday early February;
2) 3 months of living hell, trying to figure out whether my marriage and family was going to fall apart;
3) Carnival Cruise (don't judge!) - where I experienced major anxiety attacks which I thought were heart attacks due to the "show" we were trying to put on for the kids;
4) My WW travels to Asia, where i was convinced she would "seal the deal" with the OM and come home to file for D; and
5) My MIL and family decides to stop chemo - very sad time.

It's not a contest obviously, as we've all had some pretty bad times or else we wouldn't be here. I guess what prompted the question was the number "13." I'm not really superstitious, but for me that number will always suck.

Further, the OM and my WW met on a plane, sitting next to each other in row 13. 

I hate 13. 

My life is better now, we're R, and although still tough times, someone made the comment that if this year was the worst, next year has to be better. 

Here's an interesting quote I read the other day: "May we never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten."


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## SepticChange (Aug 21, 2011)

To hell with this year. Worst of my life.


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## hopefulgirl (Feb 12, 2013)

Oh, yeah. Unlucky 13. I'll be SO glad when this year is over. THE worst of my life. D-Day early in the year, and I know I'll be triggering later in the year when the "anniversary" of the start date of my husband's PA comes around (that was actually 2012, but it'll be one more icky thing to "look forward" to in 2013). 

I'm in R, and we're in MC, and things are definitely getting better. But there were SO MANY days of pain in 2013 that I will always think of this year as the WORST EVER.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*2013's bad, no doubt! Ranks right up there with 1998, when my first wife of 13 years was caught running around with a corporate VP, then divorced me keeping custody of both boys, and I underwent and recovered from quad bypass surgery.

2013 culminates a 2-1/2 year old divorce action by a woman, that in my wildest imaginings, I would have never dreamed that she would do, and was doing, I might add, during the course of our marriage. Being abandoned, neglected, and then sued to compensate a rich skank's insatiable greed is beyond comprehension!

I only pray that I'll be able to recover from it! But with God, I know that all things are possible!*


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

Years she was cheating sucked.. now that I figured it out, and put an end to it.. I hope better years are ahead.


..but yeah, like Hopefulgirl above, I will remember this year as a life changer, and one filled with sadness and hurt.


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

I shouldn't say "I hope" I should say.. better years are ahead.

arbitrator, you sound strong and I agree, all things are possible.. stay positive and keep the faith.


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## Differentguy (Oct 3, 2013)

I go back and forth depending on the minute you ask me. Worst emotions of my life? Yes. Worth finding out my wife was so easy a caveman could do her? Priceless.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

larry.gray said:


> My mom and my son died this year. Yep, 2013 sucks.


I'm so sorry to hear that, Larry! My sincere condolences to you and your family, Kind Sir!


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## angrybuttrying (Jun 17, 2013)

Maybe to wrap up this thread on a more positive note...at least for me...

* 2013 - the start of a new relationship with my WW, one in which we don't take each other for granted;
* 2013 - it's almost over, and 2014 will simply be better;
* 2013 - the year I made significant changes in MY life, for ME; 
* 2013 - when I learned how precious each day is, and how I should never forget to thank the Lord for my kids, my wife and my life every day; and
* 2013 - the awareness of I'm not alone, my experiences are not dissimilar from others, and to not judge other people.

Thanks for the thoughts! Good wisdom shared by all, and I'll say that I feel for others as I read through some of the experiences others have had. Good luck to all of you!

Thanks.


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## now_awake (May 29, 2013)

Yep, worst year of my life. On top of DDay, we've had to deal with a bunch of health issues on H's side of the family.


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## 86857 (Sep 5, 2013)

*YEP*! 
More trickle truth, *3 years* later, , WS finally admitted it was PA not EA. 
As in 'we 'kissed' at the wine bar and again when I dropped her home'. :rofl:
All of us know what that means. :bsflag:
I'm outta here! What a waste of 5 years of my life.:banghead:


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## X-B (Jul 25, 2013)

I am with you 2013 is the worst year of my life


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## firedog1 (Sep 17, 2012)

2013, The year of HELL on earth!
Wife and I are still living like roommates. Things will be worked out to where she can divorce me by April or May next year! 
My oldest Son, By first marriage, had a wreck and almost died. He is still paralized and may never walk again.
My Son in Law broke his foot, had surgery, got Mersa infection in flesh. He had another surgery to remove enough flesh to stop it. He then got Mersa infection in the bone. Had to have part of bone and screws removed. Missed 5 months of work. 
Oldest Brother had bypass surgery. Second oldest Brother had Stents again, 23 total, Third oldest Brother has massive heart attack and is still in hospital. Youngest Brother had bypass this week and is still in hospital! 
Other than that, this has been a wonderful year! Come on 2014! Lets see what you GOT!!!!


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## illwill (Feb 21, 2013)

Kind of odd, but i wanted my divorce over before the end of the year, so i could start fresh. I do not see why you cannot do the same in R. Write off 2013 and start the next year in control and with your eyes wide open.


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## firedog1 (Sep 17, 2012)

I forgot to add that my youngest Son had an accident in the oil field and had to have surgery to rebuild his nose! Simply LOVE 2013!


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

firedog1 said:


> 2013, The year of HELL on earth!
> Wife and I are still living like roommates. Things will be worked out to where she can divorce me by April or May next year!
> My oldest Son, By first marriage, had a wreck and almost died. He is still paralized and may never walk again.
> My Son in Law broke his foot, had surgery, got Mersa infection in flesh. He had another surgery to remove enough flesh to stop it. He then got Mersa infection in the bone. Had to have part of bone and screws removed. Missed 5 months of work.
> ...


*You're now on my prayer list, firedog! And you'll continue to be there!*


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## Hortensia (Feb 1, 2013)

A combo of the worst and the best year for me too. Started off badly...long sickness for me, followed by a marriage threatening issue ( not infidelity but bad ). The second half of the year, everything started to fall back into place; reconciliation is sweet, and our bond is now at the strongest ever; for that, I'm very thankful every day and choose to focus on the second half of 2013, which rocks ! 
Speedy healing to everyone !


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

larry.gray said:


> My mom and my son died this year. Yep, 2013 sucks.


Larry, yeah, I remember reading that. That does suck.

Even though my DDay 1 was in 2011 (worst year ever), then DDay 2 was in 2012 (which became another worst year ever), 2013 has decided to top them all, as my mother-in-law, two long time pets, and finally, my father, all died this year. My dad died only about a month ago, after a long suffering illness and I still really haven't processed it all.

Makes me cringe for what 2014 may bring. But oddly, as each of these terrible years have happened, I become more optimistic that I'm VERY FVCKING DUE for a great year....


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## angrybuttrying (Jun 17, 2013)

Hey, it's been awhile so I thought I would add some positives to this thread. 

2014 has been GREAT! Ironically, Dec 13 I was told my position was gone - unemployed! However, I've been on severance pay since then, and only recently started a phenom job of my dreams!

Relationship is good, still sucks at times, but we're very close now. I still opine that if the EA had been a PA, I never could have reconciled - and that tears me up when I think about the kids.

But we're good, still have the occasional issue, but making great progress.

Many of you have said that better years must lie ahead, given the trials of 2013, and I must agree with that! 

I sincerely hope others who have had worse times than me continue to heal, hope and move forward. Many words of wisdom on this site - so thanks and good luck!


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