# Is thinking about divorce all the time a sign?



## waiting_for_her_to_die

Every time I have a major argument (or any argument) and/or get angry with my wife I find myself considering divorce as an option. This has been happening for years (I have been married 6 years).

Over the past 2-3 years every time I find myself in such a moment I end up considering divorce in a more and more serious manner. I begin reading message boards, reading others' divorce stories, looking up divorce laws, child support laws, etc etc.

I eventually cool down and stop thinking about such things, dismissing the thoughts as something that just comes in moments of anger. A kind of "wishful thinking" thing. ....Until the next argument (typically a few weeks later, sometimes days, sometimes a couple of months).

Is this a typical sign or behavior a person that ultimately divorces or what any of you out there have found yourselves doing?


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## finallyseewhy

Well I have to say I don't know what to think of your user name....

But anyway I will say divorce is not easy and should honestly be the LAST resort. Have you talked to your wife? Have you tried therapy ect?


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## waiting_for_her_to_die

I came up with my username while I was angry at my wife...don't tell me none of you ever wish a meteor would just fall on your spouse or something?

I also agree divorce is probably a last resort kind of thing...nobody really wants to get divorced right?

We've never been in therapy. Frankly I question it's usefulness, but even more I question that my wife would be open to it. 

yes I've talked to my wife - many times over and over, for years. The same things keep coming back. I think she is actually more unhappy than I am and her anger and unhappiness is what kills it all for me.


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## finallyseewhy

There is some really great and informative people on here I imagine one of them will chime in soon. Have you tried the Love Dare?

I will say I have never wished my H dead or anyone else but I have experienced target deaths from people who have been very close family/friends so I guess I see a different side of it.


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## freethinker

Waiting,

I'm kind of in the same shoes as you; I've been married almost 7 years and I often find myself thinking about divorcing my wife, especially after a fight. We've been to counseling -- three times -- and it hasn't helped much, if at all. Our major problem is that we are both tempermental and have never been any good at resolving conflict. Also, I have always been very independent (it bugs the hell out of her) and she is a bit controlling. She, of course, denies it and often believes -- and argues -- that I'm to blame for every problem or issue that comes up. I often feel fed up and have to come believe that life is too short to waste in an unhealthy relationship.


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