# My public Blog/Journal



## JDC00981 (Sep 12, 2012)

Hello all. I just recently became separated today..this morning. Dont know what is going to happen. My wife of 4 years just decided that she wanted to explore different fantasies (without me) that included things that a normal marriage frowns upon (ie other people..etc) This all became really apparent after she read all 3 books in the 50 shades of Grey collection. Before I go any further, I Love my wife dearly, with all of my heart. I just don't understand how she can be willing to throw away 7 total years for something like this without almost an ounce of visible remorse or compassion. That is what really hurts. 
This is day one, it hurts to be alive..(that bad) Im not going to do anything stupid..so don't worry. I just wish I could be sooo numb that the pain will be minimal..but I think you have to love them less for that to happen. I miss sleeping next to her..I miss coming home to her..I miss my baby. I don't know if I can make it through this....


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## Frostflower (Jul 22, 2012)

JDC00981 said:


> Hello all. I just recently became separated today..this morning. Dont know what is going to happen. My wife of 4 years just decided that she wanted to explore different fantasies (without me) that included things that a normal marriage frowns upon (ie other people..etc) This all became really apparent after she read all 3 books in the 50 shades of Grey collection. Before I go any further, I Love my wife dearly, with all of my heart. I just don't understand how she can be willing to throw away 7 total years for something like this without almost an ounce of visible remorse or compassion. That is what really hurts.
> This is day one, it hurts to be alive..(that bad) Im not going to do anything stupid..so don't worry. I just wish I could be sooo numb that the pain will be minimal..but I think you have to love them less for that to happen. I miss sleeping next to her..I miss coming home to her..I miss my baby. I don't know if I can make it through this....


It is a long, hard journey. Please look up the 180 (search this forum or google it). Those strategies will help you become stronger so that you will be ready to deal with whatever happens. try to keep busy. Exercise helps. 

You CAN make it through this.


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## our vision shattered (May 25, 2012)

Frostflower said:


> It is a long, hard journey. Please look up the 180 (search this forum or google it).  Those strategies will help you become stronger so that you will be ready to deal with whatever happens. try to keep busy. Exercise helps.
> 
> You CAN make it through this.


it is a horrible long journey that ends up with you becoming stronger, talk to your dr about meds, find synthetics 10 commandments, follow them, read our stories on here, my blog is in private but where i was like you is still in this forum, talk to us, this is a life changing event but it is/can be for a better stronger you, you CAN & WILL make through this. this forum saved my life & offered more consistent advice than my once a week ic which i still have. we are here for you


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## Nsweet (Mar 3, 2012)

Wait!? She left you after reading a few BDSM books? And now she says she wants to explore other options? 

Oh dude, there's no reason to beat yourself up over this. quite simply, she left you for an exciting fantasy where she can be dominated and feel submissive around her master. It's not that she doesn't find you attractive or love you, she wants to experience a bad boy who will challenge her and make her feel feminine. She thinks her misery is your fault and she can remove that by leaving you...... fat freaking chance! She's still going to be miserable after she's been used up by leather freaks who couldn't give a sh!t about her needs and feelings. 

I know you love you wife, but she's convinced herself this will mak her happy. You're going to have to agree with her on this and act like you don't want her...... not yet at least. She doesn't deserve you love if the only way she can love you would be if you tied her up and beat the sh!t out of her while 9 midgets watched.


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## Frostflower (Jul 22, 2012)

Nsweet said:


> Wait!? She left you after reading a few BDSM books? And now she says she wants to explore other options?
> 
> Oh dude, there's no reason to beat yourself up over this. quite simply, she left you for an exciting fantasy where she can be dominated and feel submissive around her master. It's not that she doesn't find you attractive or love you, she wants to experience a bad boy who will challenge her and make her feel feminine. She thinks her misery is your fault and she can remove that by leaving you...... fat freaking chance! She's still going to be miserable after she's been used up by leather freaks who couldn't give a sh!t about her needs and feelings.
> 
> I know you love you wife, but she's convinced herself this will mak her happy. You're going to have to agree with her on this and act like you don't want her...... not yet at least. She doesn't deserve you love if the only way she can love you would be if you tied her up and beat the sh!t out of her while 9 midgets watched.


Beat up while 9 midgets watch?? I don't think I'll read those books after all!

But, J, Nsweet is right. She will not find fulfilment and happiness on the path she is taking, but all you can do is watch and work on yourself.

Be strong.


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