# my wife isnt sexually attracted to me



## rossfamily21 (Mar 3, 2013)

Or any man.we been together for 7 years and nothing has changed very much.we have had an up and down sex life but apparently she has never been that into it.she said i only fullfill her a small amount sexually.but she still wants to be with me and stay married.she is probably lesbian as it turns out.I feel like i want someone who really wants to LOVE sex with me and kissing me.what do i do?


----------



## in my tree (Jun 9, 2012)

rossfamily21 said:


> she is _probably_ lesbian as it turns out.I feel like i want someone who really wants to LOVE sex with me and kissing me.what do i do?


So she has said this or is it something that you are presuming? I think a little more detail is needed with this. If she IS a lesbian, than no amount kissing will change things around for you.


----------



## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Ok so we have a husband and a wife posting under one login?


----------



## rossfamily21 (Mar 3, 2013)

in my tree said:


> So she has said this or is it something that you are presuming? I think a little more detail is needed with this. If she IS a lesbian, than no amount kissing will change things around for you.


yes she said that she pretty much is but she still has some interest in me.Like her example was dessert.She loves cheesecake and cookies.because cheesecake is too expensive she just eats cookies.the Counselor yesterday spelled it out by saying "your probably a lesbian".Its funny cuz she still wants to stay married and she loves all the other parts of our relationship and some things she likes for example me kissing her body and certain other things but real sexual kissing and actual sex is a different thing


----------



## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Well, do you want to stay married to someone who is "probably a lesbian"? What's in it for you? A lifetime of blah sex with someone who isn't into you?


----------



## MegD (Dec 24, 2012)

Okay, well you're her best friend, that's good =) but she's never going to be satisfied with you sexually if she's a lesbian. Have you talked to her about exactly why she wants to stay married? From what I've read I'm thinking it's because dating women is more difficult than being married to you. Does that sound right? 
What you do from here is up to you, but if you're not happy not having someone who is passionate about you sexually than this relationship probably isn't for you. Do what you feel is right and what you believe will make/keep the both of you the happiest. =)


----------



## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

Speaking practical here... you can "settle" for what you have. You can ask to open up your marriage sexually (which can have unanticipated consequences and problems), or you can move on and find someone who likes ALL that you have to offer. 

It sounds like your wife will be incapable of coming around sexually if she really does prefer women. Is what you have now something you can live with forever?


----------



## rossfamily21 (Mar 3, 2013)

the other thing here is we have two young kids.5 and 2 and she loves it half the time we have sex.


----------



## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

She's not a lesbian. She doesnt love you any more.


----------



## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

rossfamily21 said:


> she is probably lesbian as it turns out....what do i do?


If she is a lesbian, I'm not sure you can do anything, short of a sex change operation.

You need to decide if you want to stay in a sexless marriage, divorce, cheat on your wife, or go for an open marriage. If she wants to stay married, she might be willing to go the open route.


----------



## bluedog (Nov 25, 2012)

I think you have every right and every desire to be in a marriage that has intimacy. That is a huge bond that holds the emotional connection that keeps you close.... It has taken me 15 years to figure this out.... I am in the middle of seperating with my husband due to the lack of sexual desire I have for him... (no, I am not a lesbian. lol.) You will be surprised at the resentment that builds when there is no emotional or sexual connection.....


----------



## westbank23 (Mar 8, 2013)

You just got to put that D on her and make her change her mine
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Is this what your wife said?

You spent most of your married years in a cult. Not long after you left the cult, your wife told you she wasn't sure of her sexuality. You encouraged her to be intimate with a woman in front of you? Is that true? 

What made you think that this promiscuity would help yourselves mentally or emotionally? 

Did you ever think to try IC or MC to get some insight first? 

Don't you think it might be time for both of you to get some counseling before you make anymore rash decisions? At least for the sake of the kids.


----------



## rossfamily21 (Mar 3, 2013)

we have sex about 2-3 times a week.our first MC visit was yesterday.she said we shouldnt make any big decisions for now.she said my wife could be lesbian or confused.My wife is adamant about staying together and she is very willing to be faithful and says nothing will change sexually.IM LOST


----------

