# married to ED



## nickiej904 (Jun 28, 2011)

My husband has ED issues, and it's effecting my self esteem. He's always had issues staying hard. There seems to be a "backflow" to his physical process. His refractory period in his 30's was at least 12 hours. Now in his 40's and it can be 3-5 days, or even longer. If he's tired, forget it. If he isn't hydrated, forget it. If he's stressed, forget it. It's the most sensitive thing I've ever seen! Honestly, he doesn't even know what normal function is. He has no idea! It's finally progressed to a point he's trying meds, and they seem to help. But OMG they're SOOOO expensive I don't know how we'll afford them! He says it's not a matter of love or desire, and I believe him. Things are good when they do happen, and I don't believe he is cheating or anything like that. It upsets him when he wants to, but his body simply won't cooperate. I try my best to assure him that it's really okay when things aren't working. He's generous and loving. He says I work magic and make things happen sometimes that amaze him, but this keeps getting worse. Any advice? Any reasonably priced options out there?


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Has he gone to a doctor for a complete physical and told them about this problem? If not, he should.


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## mary35 (Jul 18, 2010)

I agree with Enchantment - get a physical if he has not had one. 

This is a common problem for older men. But since this has been going on a while, it sounds like there may be some physical issues with your husband. Some of it could be part psychological too. Once this happens to men for whatever reason, they often can "think" themselves into after that, because of worry or embarrassment or fear. This happened to my husband. He was checked out medically and they said no physical problem. But it kept happening, more and more frequent. Funny thing - when a therapist told him it was perfectly normal and happens sometimes, but it would go away. That very week it went away. lol The brain is our biggest sex organ - even in men. 

Here is an excellent book that deals with older men, however it has some really good ideas and suggestions that I think you will find very helpful. Especially pay attention to the massage techniques. Either you or your husband should do the massaging daily. It really helps with the blood flow. A lot of other really good ideas too!

All Night Long: How to Make Love to a Man Over 50 by
Barbara Keesling


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## mary35 (Jul 18, 2010)

Oh and I understand how it affects your self esteem. I felt the same way, even though I knew in my head it wasn't about me personally, I still felt like it was about me personally. 

Good Luck!


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

> Any reasonably priced options out there?


Unfortunately, most insurance does not cover ED meds, or have a low monthly cap for the number of pills they will allow (at the highest prescription co-pay on your prescription coverage). For example, the much-advertised daily dose level of Cialis (as opposed to the higher "on demand" dosage) may have a cap of, say, 3-5 pills instead of the full monthly dose of 30.

Of the ED meds on the US market, Viagra has been around the longest, and so, is closer to having a generic (and thus less expensive) equivalent. Unlike Cialis, though, it doesn't have a "daily dose" option. Most doctors are fine with writing a 90-day prescription (regardless of which med is determined to be the best option), allowing for use of a mail-order option, which also opens the door to possibly use a Canadian pharmacy, which can cost less. In such a circumstance, conduct very diligent research to ensure you're dealing with a reputable pharmacy.

Most importantly, though, as others have said, he should discuss the matter frankly with his doctor. They've heard it all before, and if it's truly a biological issue, they will be happy to help. If it appears to be psychological, they will say so, and recommend appropriate therapy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I've found a mail order option from overseas, as the Canadian prices didn't seem that reasonable to me. PM me if you want it. So far, so good. The generic Cialis has worked just like the name brand stuff.

Of course, I suspect my issues were mostly mental anyway, so they could just be shipping me sugar pills...

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

"STIFF NIGHTS" was the bomb for a time -pretty popular until they took it off the market. 


on Ebay, I seen an alternative called "Magic for Men". Still seems pretty expensive though magic for men | eBay


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

nickiej904 said:


> My husband has ED issues, and it's effecting my self esteem. He's always had issues staying hard. There seems to be a "backflow" to his physical process. His refractory period in his 30's was at least 12 hours. Now in his 40's and it can be 3-5 days, or even longer. If he's tired, forget it. If he isn't hydrated, forget it. If he's stressed, forget it. It's the most sensitive thing I've ever seen! Honestly, he doesn't even know what normal function is. He has no idea! It's finally progressed to a point he's trying meds, and they seem to help. But OMG they're SOOOO expensive I don't know how we'll afford them! He says it's not a matter of love or desire, and I believe him. Things are good when they do happen, and I don't believe he is cheating or anything like that. It upsets him when he wants to, but his body simply won't cooperate. I try my best to assure him that it's really okay when things aren't working. He's generous and loving. He says I work magic and make things happen sometimes that amaze him, but this keeps getting worse. Any advice? Any reasonably priced options out there?


They're not as expensive overseas.

PM me if you need more info.


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## nickiej904 (Jun 28, 2011)

Thanks for all the info. He has talked to his doctor about it, and Cialis works great, but it so expensive. Would love overseas/generic options. Send by PM if you like. THANKS!


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

Another option is a penis ring.
If he can get it started, a rubber or neoprene ring fits around the penis and restricts blood flow back tot he body. There are literally hundreds of them out there, you can even get them in Walmart and Walgreen's.
If buying one face to face is too much, go to Sex Toys by Adam & Eve - Adult Sex Toys - Sex Toys for Couples and pick one out.


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## rotor (Aug 28, 2010)

You might want to research the following. All are inexpensive and DO work.

L-Arginine (Has an effect similar to Viagra)
Maca + Zinc (Faster recovery time, bigger loads)
Tribulus (Boost T levels)
Saw Palmetto (Prostate health)


Regards,

rotor


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## nickiej904 (Jun 28, 2011)

Yes, his testosterone level tested okay.


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