# Husband in a Thong?



## beautifulmarriage (Jun 2, 2018)

I'm new to this forum, and have a serious question - I really like to wear thongs - I used to wear them in secret before my wife and I were married. I stopped after one time I showed her what I was wearing, and she said "I not used to you wearing them." and "that's for me to wear" (not you). And haven't worn them since.

Fast forward 5 years, we have a beautiful 14mo girl, and a really happy marriage. We never had a lot of sex, maybe 4-5 times a month, but when we had our baby, we really stopped... more than a year we went without, and I admit to masterbation an outlet for the sexual energy.

A couple weeks ago, we began getting active again, and I decided (after her urging! 🙂 to stop masterbating altogether. Truth be told I was masterbating a lot, and I don't think she realized how much sexual energy would be pent up when I stopped!

I had thought about wearing thongs again on and off, but hadn't. This week, after a trip out of town, I really wanted to start wearing thongs again. I genuinely like how cool they are - boxers or boxer briefs are very hot and sweaty because of all the fabric - and the thong seems to wick very well, as well as well as give good support in front.

So I was super up front and honest - I told her I had bought them, was wearing them at the moment and that I hoped she would like them. I had a hope it might turn her on, and we might have a nice time with it. Instead, we had the best and most serious talk we'd had in a long time, and she had some concerns - mostly that I would be wearing them to get excited, when I should be getting excited for her. I don't want her to be jealous of a thong... horrible. But also, I guess now that she says that, maybe it is a replacement for masterbation, because it is exciting for me to wear them, but it also helps keep things under control until we see one another and have sex again.

Has anyone else dealt with this? I don't feel dirty about this. Is there anything wrong with wearing this underwear if it is more comfortable for me? If my wife cannot or will not like/accept it, should I stop, and try to find another underwear solution? I don't want to have something between us... There has never been something between us, and to be doing something that she knowingly dislikes bothers me too, but I would also like to give it a chance to sink in and to be okay, even nice.

We are Christians and LOVE each other and God so much. I will do anything for her. I am praying and hoping for some wisdom from this forum!

Thank you!


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

You are not doing a thing wrong or unseemly.

It pleases you and is comfortable.

On the other hand, as long as you're in good shape, a thong and beer belly don't go together well.

Sounds like your wife is too uptight to me.

Keep doing your thing.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*If your W is acceptant of it, I would enthusiastically say "go for it!"

But personally, I wouldn't really like them on me or my wife!

*


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

I dont see why your wife has a problem with what you are wearing. Men can wear thongs too, if they find them comfortable. She needs to lighten up. In addition, if she is as good a Christian wife as she thinks she is, she should be attending to your physical needs instead of having you masturbating. 
It might be time to get her some good Christian books on such matters, e.g. Fit to Be Tied; making marriage last a life time by Bill Hybels and Emotional and sexual intimacy in marriage by Marcus and ****** Kusi


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## ButWeAreStrange (Feb 2, 2018)

I don't see anything wrong with someone choosing to wear underwear that makes them comfortable. I find it a little strange that your wife feels she should dictate what you wear under your clothes, but that seems more due to her not understanding it. It's also strange that she would require you to stop masturbating altogether, although I can see how it being excessive would also stand in the way of your sexual relationship with each other. 

Is there any way to reach a compromise? As your partner she should be willing to at least discuss that and put her feelings aside for the sake of communication. Is she possibly just hung up on what she perceives as gender-specific materials? A lot of what we attribute to being "feminine" in this day and age originated as male fashion, either rooted in style or function. Men have been wearing thongs for thousands of years, mostly because of the comfort and function factor, so she could probably use more of a perspective in that regard.

Try to explain to her that your sexual excitement from wearing them is by no means depleting your sexual excitement for her, merely amplifying it. Different people have different things that make them comfortable, feel good and/or experience arousal. If she can't handle that, then she is placing her definition of sexuality above your own, which is not healthy for any relationship, let alone a marriage.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

arbitrator said:


> *If your W is acceptant of it, I would enthusiastically say "go for it!"
> 
> But personally, I wouldn't really like them on me or my wife!
> 
> *


Huh?

That is not what I have heard?

What is it you wear under those Referee pants?

I have heard they make a jock cup to match those, uh, things.

............................................................................................

Not on the wife? 
Why not.

In private, for private viewing, of privates, of course..



The Host-


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## beautifulmarriage (Jun 2, 2018)

ButWeAreStrange said:


> I don't see anything wrong with someone choosing to wear underwear that makes them comfortable. I find it a little strange that your wife feels she should dictate what you wear under your clothes, but that seems more due to her not understanding it. It's also strange that she would require you to stop masturbating altogether, although I can see how it being excessive would also stand in the way of your sexual relationship with each other.
> 
> Is there any way to reach a compromise? As your partner she should be willing to at least discuss that and put her feelings aside for the sake of communication. Is she possibly just hung up on what she perceives as gender-specific materials? A lot of what we attribute to being "feminine" in this day and age originated as male fashion, either rooted in style or function. Men have been wearing thongs for thousands of years, mostly because of the comfort and function factor, so she could probably use more of a perspective in that regard.
> 
> Try to explain to her that your sexual excitement from wearing them is by no means depleting your sexual excitement for her, merely amplifying it. Different people have different things that make them comfortable, feel good and/or experience arousal. If she can't handle that, then she is placing her definition of sexuality above your own, which is not healthy for any relationship, let alone a marriage.


I really appreciate your thoughts. To be honest, I really wanted to stop masterbating, for me also - because I love her, and also because I was really curious what would happen! I was amazed, and love giving her all that. Since my sex drive is now a higher than hers, and since the no-masterbation and thongs came at a similar time, think it's hard for her to see that I'm interested in her for her, not because I need her to 'help' me after a day in a thong... And I really want to serve her sexual desires first, but they are so subtle, especially now! That's maybe a topic for another thread...

Anyway, thanks. Keep the thoughts coming, as it's really interesting and useful to hear!


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

SunCMars said:


> Huh?
> 
> That is not what I have heard?
> 
> ...


*You really want to wear something like black spandex bicycle pants, just in case the a$$ end of your pants split open for all the stadium to see, gawk, and laugh at!*


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Not true...

The thong will cover up the well digger.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

That is a weird response from her. You wouldn't dictate which underwear she should wear, would you? 

MAYBE....she thinks you wearing them keeps you turned on, and it's not something she wants. If you've gone so long without sex then she is not used to the new frequency. She may think that the more you stay turned on, the more you will want sex, and more "work" for her. 

And if you are back to "once a week" sex, then why would you agree to not masturbate? THAT is what will keep you turned on. Unless she is agreeable to every day, or at least every other day .... and the masturbation is not making you turn HER down.... then you should revisit this conversation. I think, in a healthy relationship, neither spouse should ask the other not to masturbate UNLESS it is interfering with their sex life. If you have enough drive to handle both solo and partner....then its not an issue at all. 

If you want to keep the peace, and pacify her, then just tell her that you will wear the thongs for a month and see if it messes up her sex life or whatever. Tell her it's a trial period. If she wanted to try something new...a new hair color or cut, or new style of clothing...you'd allow (ick....ALLOW?) her a trial, right? 

Good luck!


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

So here’s the problem... 

You feel sexy wearing a thong, you like the way it makes you feel. That’s good and is no problem, except when something you like changes the way your wife feels about you, or just views you in general. What if it’s a turn off for her? 

I’m just assuming here but... as a white Christian women myself... we were raised and sort of brainwashed into thinking men should be a certain way and we find certain characteristics attractive and unattractive about men based off this brainwashing. And the same goes with guys being brain washed about women. And obviously this is wrong and close minded but at the end of the day you can’t help what your attracted to and what your not. 

My example... I have tiny breasts. Some men LOVE big breasts, they are breast guys and that’s what they like. So they obviously won’t be attracted to me and that’s ok because everyone has their thing. Women are a little different because it goes beyond physical sometimes and certain personalities and I don’t know the words to explain it but certain things guys do or whatever turns off women Bc of our biases, but again it’s hard to change the way we feel about things. So anyway... I personally would not be attracted to my husband if I knew he had to wear a thong to get turned on or feel sexy or whatever. And it’s just something I can’t help. And of course this is wrong and it has everything to do with my issues and what I think it means! None the less it’s how I feel.

However if my husband wants to wear thongs I would tell him to do it as long as I don’t see it. Have a small separate hamper and do your own laundry.


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## beautifulmarriage (Jun 2, 2018)

A trial... Sure. Honestly, it is for me too. It's the first time I've given into the desire openly so I want to know how that is.

I'm curious, because I'm an empathetic person, what could be going through her head in all of this, justified or not. I am fit, 35, no beer belly 🙂, and am motivated to look fit and strong for her, although I'm not by any stretch super buff... 😕

Is there the chance she is actually turned OFF by this, and there would be no shifting that reaction with time? She has told me during our talk the other day that the thong doesn't accentuate aspects of me she is attracted to.


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## beautifulmarriage (Jun 2, 2018)

katiecrna said:


> So here’s the problem...
> 
> You feel sexy wearing a thong, you like the way it makes you feel. That’s good and is no problem, except when something you like changes the way your wife feels about you, or just views you in general. What if it’s a turn off for her?
> 
> ...


Thank you, really helpful... I didn't see this before I posted last. So true, everything you say.

Do you feel like seeing your husband in a thong would ever be an attractive thing, or only unattractive? Our sex life lacked some adventure, and I honestly, but super naively, hope this could help... but maybe it never would, and maybe I couldn't ever share it w her - hate keeping things hidden or separate, that's not us at all... I would love for her to see that fun in it.

I get that it's a very unusual thing... (I wonder how unusual). I also grew up in a place where men wore men things and women wore women things... So, yes...


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

beautifulmarriage said:


> A trial... Sure. Honestly, it is for me too. It's the first time I've given into the desire openly so I want to know how that is.
> 
> I'm curious, because I'm an empathetic person, what could be going through her head in all of this, justified or not. I am fit, 35, no beer belly 🙂, and am motivated to look fit and strong for her, although I'm not by any stretch super buff... 😕
> 
> Is there the chance she is actually turned OFF by this, and there would be no shifting that reaction with time? She has told me during our talk the other day that the thong doesn't accentuate aspects of me she is attracted to.




So I agree with your wife here. It’s nothing personal, it’s just a personal bias about gender that we both have, especially being Christian. I personally wouldn’t want my husband, man of the house to carry a purse, or wear a thong, or paint his toe nails for example. 
You wearing a thong has nothing to do with physical attractiveness, it has to do with the way we VIEW you.


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## beautifulmarriage (Jun 2, 2018)

Also! I don't need or want a thong to get turned on! My wife does this the instant she walks in the room! No problem there! I wouldn't wear them to bed or anything unless they were a turn-on to her! Just clarifying...


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

beautifulmarriage said:


> Also! I don't need or want a thong to get turned on! My wife does this the instant she walks in the room! No problem there! I wouldn't wear them to bed or anything unless they were a turn-on to her! Just clarifying...




So I think that she already told you her opinion about it in a respectful subtle way. My question is what is your end goal?


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## beautifulmarriage (Jun 2, 2018)

Well... I do feel more comfortable in thongs, less fabric making things hot and slimy... That is definitely a goal, comfort. And slim dress clothes work better without boxers - I understand there are other solutions to these problems too.

But I have realized something important, which is that the underwear keeps me from masterbating so much, and it's important to have this discussion w my wife. I want to save myself for her, but I just have too much energy to bottle without some help. It's not a coincidence that I became interested in thongs again when I stopped masterbating I think.

Thanks all for this advice!


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## SGr (Mar 19, 2015)

When in doubt,
Go without!



Just make sure to have some backup pants.

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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

beautifulmarriage said:


> I used to wear them in secret before my wife and I were married.


In secret? This being TAM I need clarification, are you talking a banana hammock or women’s underwear?


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## Bluesclues (Mar 30, 2016)

I don’t think there is anything wrong with you wanting to wear them, but you can’t expect her to be turned on by them, I wouldn’t be. 

When my XH and I first started dating his coworker told him to get leopard bikini underwear, that all the young women he was with loved them (I was 10 years younger than XH). Well I don’t know if this guy told him that as a goof or not, but I certainly didn’t love them and didn’t know any female who would. It was a major turn off. After a few weeks I finally said something to him about them and how much they bothered me. Turns out he hated them too. 

The difference here is that you are wearing them for you and they make you feel good, not because it is something you think she wants. I think her reaction and the talk you had about it are good signs for your relationship. She questioned your motives, which were legit, she didn’t freak out.


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## thefam (Sep 9, 2014)

As long as it was a masculine looking thong, I think it would be kind of hot. I have no desire to see my husband in any thing feminine looking; it would be a major turn-off. But if it was one of those male-dancer type things I wouldn't mind at all.

Now...as for it turning you on, can you explain a little? In what way are you turned on. I'm just going to say what I mean here, if it turns you on in a giddy, school-girl, naughty type of way, like when a woman wears no underwear, then I would not want to know about it. But then I guess I'm probably a different type of chick, I love for my husband to dominate. I like being the naughty wife who gets "punished" with some rough sex. So him feeling all excited and giggly it just not going to pull that off.


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## beautifulmarriage (Jun 2, 2018)

thefam said:


> As long as it was a masculine looking thong, I think it would be kind of hot. I have no desire to see my husband in any thing feminine looking; it would be a major turn-off. But if it was one of those male-dancer type things I wouldn't mind at all.
> 
> Now...as for it turning you on, can you explain a little? In what way are you turned on. I'm just going to say what I mean here, if it turns you on in a giddy, school-girl, naughty type of way, like when a woman wears no underwear, then I would not want to know about it. But then I guess I'm probably a different type of chick, I love for my husband to dominate. I like being the naughty wife who gets "punished" with some rough sex. So him feeling all excited and giggly it just not going to pull that off.


By the waist band they could be boxers or briefs... if that helps.

And maybe I misspoke - they are exciting in a way but actually having things flapping around all day is more distracting to me.

Maybe it would be good to lead a little more in sex (this is a topic for another thread maybe...) - but both my wife and I are a little timid in bed, and I've been wanting ways to spice things up.

Thank you!


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Well.... 

IF they are a turn off for her, (and you just have to ask her outright if they are a sexual turnoff).....then I'd quit wearing them.

IF she doesn't care for you wearing them because they keep you turned on, that's a whole 'nother discussion.


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## TheBohannons (Apr 6, 2018)

You have a crossdresing fetish. You get excited wearing women's underwear. Simply admit it without the backtracking. She doesn't think it is sexy, because she likes masculine men. She told you "those are for me to wear, not you". 

Your fetish is feminine. While it may not be wrong for you, and others on this thread, for your wife, it is quite appalling.

Listen to your wife, not words from strangers.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

TheBohannons said:


> You have a crossdresing fetish. You get excited wearing women's underwear. Simply admit it without the backtracking. She doesn't think it is sexy, because she likes masculine men. She told you "those are for me to wear, not you".
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Wearing a male thong is not crossdressing. He isn’t wearing women’s underwear.


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## TheBohannons (Apr 6, 2018)

katiecrna said:


> Wearing a male thong is not crossdressing. He isn’t wearing women’s underwear.


It doesn't appear that his WIFE agrees with your statement. She clearly said "those are for me to wear" and It doesnt make you look masculine (which means in HER opinion, it makes him look feminine). 

He should probably listen to his wife, since it is hghly unlikely she was talking about male underwear. 

Fetish and kinks are not necessarily a bad thing. He tried to incorporate his fetish into the Marriage and she did not approve. It is not the end of the world.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

TheBohannons said:


> It doesn't appear that his WIFE agrees with your statement. She clearly said "those are for me to wear" and It doesnt make you look masculine (which means in HER opinion, it makes him look feminine).
> 
> 
> 
> He should probably listen to his wife, since it is hghly unlikely she was talking about male underwear, but hey, you may be right. Carry on.




What the heck... just become his wife thinks something looks feminine doesn’t mean he is crossdressing. And furthermore she didn’t say that she said thongs are for her to wear not him. 

I agree that it’s clear his wife doesn’t want him to wear a thong and I don’t think he should. But crossdressing and a man wearing a thong are two different things.


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## TheBohannons (Apr 6, 2018)

beautifulmarriage said:


> I showed her what I was wearing, and she said "I not used to you wearing them." and "that's for me to wear" (not you). And haven't worn them since.[/QUOTE
> 
> "So I think that she already told you her opinion about it in a respectful subtle way. My question is what is your end goal?"
> 
> ...


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

beautifulmarriage said:


> I'm new to this forum, and have a serious question - I really like to wear thongs - I used to wear them in secret before my wife and I were married. I stopped after one time I showed her what I was wearing, and she said "I not used to you wearing them." and "that's for me to wear" (not you). And haven't worn them since.
> 
> Fast forward 5 years, we have a beautiful 14mo girl, and a really happy marriage. We never had a lot of sex, maybe 4-5 times a month, but when we had our baby, we really stopped... more than a year we went without, and I admit to masterbation an outlet for the sexual energy.
> 
> ...




How can they give support at the front if they are designed for women? Isn’t it too tight? Women don’t have this whole penis thing going on at the front (usually) and can’t see how it would be comfortable. Also the back...constantly have a wedgie up your ass doesn’t sound very comfortable. 

They don’t just make boxers for men you know. I also don’t like regular boxers; I might as well wrap some pointless tissue around my hips. They have boxer shorts that are tighter/with more support for men’s ****s & balls  (I wear Hugo boss or Calvin Klein; sorry that’s not the best picture of me).

Also why do you need your wife to like it? Is there really no sexual aspect at all to it? (And if there is, which part is exciting? I never understood this but would like to know more).











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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

katiecrna said:


> Wearing a male thong is not crossdressing. He isn’t wearing women’s underwear.




Oh was that a male thong? I didn’t know they made thongs for men.
Why? 



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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

I'm attracted to manly men. A man wearing a women's thong, or a thong at all would not be appealing to me. I'm not saying I wouldn't give it a whirl if my H wanted to try it out, but in general I can say it doesn't sound appealing to me personally. Plus, since I own quite a collection myself I think I would have a pretty hard time believing that any man would wear a thong out of comfort. I would be suspect that there were other reasons.

There are plenty of women that spend their life in granny panties because they are certainly the most comfortable and they take the stand that they don't care what their husband likes since he isn't the one wearing them. You can take this same stance if you so desire.

Your wife has tried to tell you nicely that she doesn't like this. Either you care about her feelings, likes and dislikes, and won't make her endure seeing you in this, or your don't. The ball is totally in your...court.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Spicy said:


> The ball is totally in your...court.



If it’s a woman’s thong I don’t see how this is possible.



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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

inmyprime said:


> If it’s a woman’s thong I don’t see how this is possible.
> 
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


I knew someone would catch that. Even if the thong couldn't. >


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

inmyprime said:


> Oh was that a male thong? I didn’t know they made thongs for men.
> Why?
> 
> 
> ...


You've never heard of a jock strap (athletic supporter)? Male thongs are just prettied up versions.

OP, your wife has already told you that the thong does not accentuate what she finds attractive about you. Don't get your hopes up that you and she will be having fun playing peek-a-boo with that thong.

You're entitled to wear whatever type of undergarment you prefer just as she is entitled to pick hers. Some women prefer to wear under-wired bras to keep the girls from sloshing around. But, since she doesn't find thongs sexy; you may want to change into her preferred style in the evenings.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Blondilocks said:


> You've never heard of a jock strap (athletic supporter)? Male thongs are just prettied up versions.


I have just googled 'jockstrap' (I have never heard of it before. Probably because I am not really an 'athlete'. A little bit. but not really.) 

I can not unsee those images now  My eyes!!!!!!!!!!

I wonder if they have those in turquoise though..


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## I shouldnthave (Apr 11, 2018)

beautifulmarriage said:


> Do you feel like seeing your husband in a thong would ever be an attractive thing, or only unattractive? Our sex life lacked some adventure, and I honestly, but super naively, hope this could help...


Personally I find thongs in men a turn off - I would not be aroused by my husband in a thong. I find them not to be masculine (which I understand is cultural).

I don't think my husband would find it sexy if I wore boxer briefs.

Have you asked her what her preference is? My husband wears sporty, snug, boxer briefs (meant for athletes, they breathe well) and I find them super sexy, he started wearing them in part because I like them.

And I wear cheeky Lacy numbers, because that is what he prefers.

I don't think wearing underwear be she finds a put off will improve your sex life


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## PigglyWiggly (May 1, 2018)

I shouldnthave said:


> Personally I find thongs in men a turn off - I would not be aroused by my husband in a thong. I find them not to be masculine (which I understand is cultural).
> 
> I don't think my husband would find it sexy if I wore boxer briefs.
> 
> ...


Lacy cheekies.........hnnnnnnngggggg! My wife had a pair on yesterday with a tank when she asked me to get yer yoga video ready. Needless to say, I did yoga yesterday


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

I shouldnthave said:


> Personally I find thongs in men a turn off - I would not be aroused by my husband in a thong. I find them not to be masculine (which I understand is cultural).
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Actually women in boxer shorts look great! 


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

inmyprime said:


> Actually women in boxer shorts look great!


I wear boxers and a t-shirt around the house as pajamas fairly often. Certainly no complaints from my SO. It might weird him out a bit if I were wearing them in place of regular underwear beneath my clothes on a daily basis, though.


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## I shouldnthave (Apr 11, 2018)

I said boxer briefs - the tighter cotton ones, that.come down the thigh - with the obvious penis hole in front. I think they look hot on guys, on me? I look like a cross dresser.

Boxers, sure I have some for puttering around the house.

Different tastes, some women find men in thongs hot. Some men find women in tighty whities hot.


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## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

Of course you should stop. With the myriad of choices do you really have to choose the least masculine option? Why is this a problem? You are really trying to make this about your comfort but it sounds like a weird, feminine type fetish.


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## Johann Sebastian (Mar 20, 2018)

It really depends on what you are looking for. If you just want the feeling of your junk being firmly held in place, take a look at "mypakage" underwear. They look like regular briefs, but instead of a fly they have a little kangaroo pouch in the front for your junk. In full disclosure, I wear these every day and they feel fantastic.


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## Ketiara (Jun 5, 2018)

beautifulmarriage - I apologize that this is my very first forum post. I found the forum and joined with the intention of posting my own question, but when I saw your thread title I simply had to read through it.

My husband occasionally wears underwear that I disagree with. There is so much more to this conversation, and I've done years and years of homework on it. We've had lots of counseling, and I feel pretty versed in the subject. So I understand where you're coming from, though, is it ladies' thongs that you like to wear? I'm sorry if you clarified in another post and I missed it. I assume it's the feminine style you're referring to, as it's not unusual for men to enjoy wearing those.


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## PigglyWiggly (May 1, 2018)

CatholicDad said:


> Of course you should stop. With the myriad of choices do you really have to choose the least masculine option? Why is this a problem? You are really trying to make this about your comfort but it sounds like a weird, feminine type fetish.


 I don't think you further dialogue by calling someone's kink/fetish weird...let's try "different". What do you think?


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## beautifulmarriage (Jun 2, 2018)

Ketiara said:


> beautifulmarriage - I apologize that this is my very first forum post. I found the forum and joined with the intention of posting my own question, but when I saw your thread title I simply had to read through it.
> 
> My husband occasionally wears underwear that I disagree with. There is so much more to this conversation, and I've done years and years of homework on it. We've had lots of counseling, and I feel pretty versed in the subject. So I understand where you're coming from, though, is it ladies' thongs that you like to wear? I'm sorry if you clarified in another post and I missed it. I assume it's the feminine style you're referring to, as it's not unusual for men to enjoy wearing those.


Ketiara, thanks for your note. It was also my first post! They are women's version, but honestly I tried to find the most "masculine" style I could find (please forgive the irony...); the waist band is identical to the brand's boxer briefs. I find that the slightly (but not overly) snug fit in front really kept things in place for activity of the day. In the back I find they wick moisture that boxers accumulate. The men's versions either look like Chip&Dale's or are just too loose in front to bother... I'm definitely very straight and the thought of wearing men's thongs like that feels weird... (forgive the irony, again).

Have you and your husband found something that works for you? Does he still wear them? Is he comfortable? Are you comfortable? My wife and I are looking into counseling as well, since we've found there is a lot to learn, and it goes beyond underwear.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

OP I agree with those who have stated, this will not increase sex with your wife. You asked more than once if she might like it or have fun with it. NO she has made it plain she does not and most likely will not. 

You have also now answered the question that it is indeed women's underwear. It sounds like this bothers her most likely because most women are attracted to male stereotypes. They are stereotypes for a reason, lots of men do these things lots of women like it.

You only need to find out what she likes. Most women do not like shy men in bed. We unfortunately want the man to know what he is doing and to take charge. Read fifty shades of grey. Block out the obsession people have with the spanking. There is a reason it is a best sellers (women read the **** out of these books). It isn't because we all want to be spanked or even tied up. Christian wants to take care of his woman, in every way. He doesn't fumble around in the bedroom. He knows what he wants (part of what he wants if her orgasm) he is good at making her feel good. She's tied up (or freed up) to enjoy the experience without worrying if she's 'doing it ' right if he likes this? What's taking so long? Am I not enough? She turns him on and takes care of things.

Spice up your sex life but the thong just isn't gonna do it.

With a little one her libido will be lower and her mind will be family oriented instead of sex oriented. Get her out of mommy mode. Go on dates or away for the weekend. Then focus on her. Then focus on her pleasure. Try different positions ( missionary sucks for most women). Do you give her oral? Ever tried a vibrator? We-vibe is my favorite. Butt plug ( though she might not be ready for this) role play.

As for the thong marriage is about compromise. There is nothing that would stop you from wearing it but is this worth turning your wife off? My husband rocks my world sexually so hard most days I wouldn't care if he wore dresses but if he tried dresses in back before the earth shattering orgasms, he would probably have found less opportunities to try.


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