# My. Wife found my secret and is holding it over my head



## Pay2play (Jan 10, 2018)

Ever since I was molested my entire youth from 11 to 18 by my mother best friend. I have been looking at child porn. Not all the time but once in awhile. My molester used child porn to groom me. I know it's wrong. I know it's illegal. Its something that i allways kept to myself. Never have i or ever would i have broght This into real life by molesting anyone myself, but in hindsight i belive i was brainwashed into beliving it was ok by my molester.It's no longer a problem 4 me. About 8 months ago my wife picked up my tablet one night and found what I had been looking at. after a lot, a lot of talking we agreed I would get help. Never did get help but the shock of someone ells knowing my lifelong secret was enough to scare me strait hvent done it since. However a few days ago my wife decided due to our inability to gain any closeness after what she had found we need to separate. I agree. I need to work on myself and she as well. We have grown apart. However when I expressed that we needed to get lawyers to split our estate and figure out custody of our son. She brought up the fact that she had taken pictures of what she found in case she needed it later, or I tried to deny it. We have a son together and she has two sons from a previous marriage, a house, 3 cars, ect. She said we can work this out without lawyers as long as I agree to everything she wants, she thretend to call the police on me and turn me in as a child predator, if I don't move out in 2 months. Can she even do this. It feels like blackmail. After I talked in length with her about my issues.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

I am sorry for the abuse that you suffered but by looking at child porn you are contributing to those children's abuse even if you are not physically touching or abusing them yourself. 
Whether she can do this or not is irrelevant, she is and you have to make the best of it. She could have already reported you, many would have done, especially as she has children, so in that way you are lucky that she hasn't. Are her requests in the divorce reasonable? What is she asking for?

My main concern is you being around the children. Many abusers abuse their own children and would not be allowed unsupervised access to them.


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## VermiciousKnid (Nov 14, 2017)

I'm a family lawyer that has come across this very thing several times in my career. Let me assure you that legally you're absolutely ****ed. Just having possession of what you have in a house with minor children in it will buy you 10 years in prison. Your soon-to-be-ex wife has all the cards and you have ZERO. No judge will cut you even the slightest slack. Is she blackmailing you? Yes and no. In divorces you use whatever leverage you have to get out the best you can. In her case she has HUGE leverage. Just about the biggest leverage there is unless you're a serial killer and she knows where the bodies are.

My advice is for you to consult with an attorney right away. DEFINITELY try to keep this out of the courts or most likely you're going to end up in prison and won't see your children again until they're adults. You're going to "lose" this one and she's going to get what she wants BUT what you can do, with the assistance of a lawyer, is draft a non-disclosure agreement that she has to surrender any/all copies of what she found to you and that she can't tell anyone, ever. A caveat there is depending on what state you live in there are laws in place that actually requires this to be reported to the authorities and it's a felony not to. If you're in one of those states she's already committing a felony by not reporting you.

This is very serious business my man. The goal for you is to get out of this marriage without ending up in prison. Next goal is you get into therapy to get treatment for this.


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## Pay2play (Jan 10, 2018)

I understand the thought process of abusers and their own children being a issue. Sadly the only reason I could ever look at it online was because it was at a distance. Because of what was done to me and the trama it caused and continues to cause I could never do that to any child. You both are right and I will seek help for this even if I think I'm done with it. I have always known I needed help from what was done to me and what i looked at. I will seek help. I have spoken to her directly about this and my concerns. I'm very lucky she still cares for me and the fact that we still are friends, I am and will fold on this one. I cannot let my actions take away my sons father. My father left me when I was 3, my son is 3, i can't do that to him. The law is stated ghat she is not breaking any laws by entering into a contract of such.
I hope my words here are a lesson for anyone struggling with an issue like mine. I am not a bad person but I have made some very pore choices. When I realised what I was doing was wrong, I should have seeked out help then. If I did I might still have my best friend as a life partner.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Say what you may but you ****ed things up, you are an adult and at this point you know right from wrong, and you chose wrong. Regardless of the outcome of your marriage you best get yourself into counseling ASAP.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

As an aside, The wife took pics of the images and kept them herself. Does that she is keeping illegal images for blackmail rather than child exploitation make any difference?

My understanding is that courts don’t much care. You got kiddie porn, you go down. Period.


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## VermiciousKnid (Nov 14, 2017)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> My understanding is that courts don’t much care. You got kiddie porn, you go down. Period.


There are courts in some states putting mothers in jail that have posted naked pictures of their young children in the bath tub. A lot of people don't realize there is zero tolerance for this type of thing. People in possession of child porn are prosecuted with extreme prejudice. That means that justice is not blind in these cases. Judges, prosecutors, and juries have ZERO sympathy and you're going to lose every time unless you were Michael Jackson.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Dear OP. Since no sensible person would admit to a serious felony on a public discussion site, remembering that this really isn't anonymous, your IP address etc have been recorded, I will assume that you are a Troll, just trying to get a rise out of people. Since you are just making this up, its probably best that you don't post anything else about it. If this were real, the web site might even be required to contact law enforcement. 



However in the hypothetical situation where this was true:

First of all, as a victim of CSA, you have my absolute sympathy and to me, the long term trauma from that justifies your looking at CP. I also think that the current witch-hunt on CP has gone much too far. 

Unfortunately I doubt that the law will see it that way. As others have said, you are risking long prison terms. 

I think your best option is to just give her what she wants. Then get therapy for the CSA. That will probably help your legal position if your CP viewing is ever found out. Obviously completely get rid of the CP.








Pay2play said:


> Ever since I was molested my entire youth from 11 to 18 by my mother best friend. I have been looking at child porn. Not all the time but once in awhile. My molester used child porn to groom me. I know it's wrong. I know it's illegal. Its something that i allways kept to myself. Never have i or ever would i have broght This into real life by molesting anyone myself, but in hindsight i belive i was brainwashed into beliving it was ok by my molester.It's no longer a problem 4 me. About 8 months ago my wife picked up my tablet one night and found what I had been looking at. after a lot, a lot of talking we agreed I would get help. Never did get help but the shock of someone ells knowing my lifelong secret was enough to scare me strait hvent done it since. However a few days ago my wife decided due to our inability to gain any closeness after what she had found we need to separate. I agree. I need to work on myself and she as well. We have grown apart. However when I expressed that we needed to get lawyers to split our estate and figure out custody of our son. She brought up the fact that she had taken pictures of what she found in case she needed it later, or I tried to deny it. We have a son together and she has two sons from a previous marriage, a house, 3 cars, ect. She said we can work this out without lawyers as long as I agree to everything she wants, she thretend to call the police on me and turn me in as a child predator, if I don't move out in 2 months. Can she even do this. It feels like blackmail. After I talked in length with her about my issues.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Pay2play said:


> Ever since I was molested my entire youth from 11 to 18 by my mother best friend. I have been looking at child porn. Not all the time but once in awhile. My molester used child porn to groom me. I know it's wrong. I know it's illegal. Its something that i allways kept to myself. Never have i or ever would i have broght This into real life by molesting anyone myself, but in hindsight i belive i was brainwashed into beliving it was ok by my molester.It's no longer a problem 4 me. About 8 months ago my wife picked up my tablet one night and found what I had been looking at. after a lot, a lot of talking we agreed I would get help. Never did get help but the shock of someone ells knowing my lifelong secret was enough to scare me strait hvent done it since. However a few days ago my wife decided due to our inability to gain any closeness after what she had found we need to separate. I agree. I need to work on myself and she as well. We have grown apart. However when I expressed that we needed to get lawyers to split our estate and figure out custody of our son. She brought up the fact that she had taken pictures of what she found in case she needed it later, or I tried to deny it. We have a son together and she has two sons from a previous marriage, a house, 3 cars, ect. She said we can work this out without lawyers as long as I agree to everything she wants, she thretend to call the police on me and turn me in as a child predator, if I don't move out in 2 months. Can she even do this. It feels like blackmail. After I talked in length with her about my issues.


So she is in possession of child porn and is blackmailing you.

Are you in therapy as a victim of CSA?


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

uhtred said:


> First of all, as a victim of CSA, you have my absolute sympathy and to me, the long term trauma from that* justifies your looking at CP.* I also think that *the current witch-hunt on CP has gone much too far. *




Nothing "justifies" child pornography.

Can't go "too far" to wipe the blight of child pornography off the face of the earth.

I don't mean to be a virtue signalling a ss hole. But I hope I'm misunderstanding your meaning, in some way.????


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

uhtred said:


> Dear OP. Since no sensible person would admit to a serious felony on a public discussion site, remembering that this really isn't anonymous, your IP address etc have been recorded, I will assume that you are a Troll, just trying to get a rise out of people. Since you are just making this up, its probably best that you don't post anything else about it. If this were real, the web site might even be required to contact law enforcement.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Sorry but nothing justifies looking at child porn, its not a victimless crime. If you watch child porn you are partly responsible for those kids being horribly abused. 
Those who watch it need to be caught before it leads to more which it often does. 
Would you want your children to live with a man who was frequently looking at children being sexually abused?A phedophile? 

There is child sexual abuse in my own family, and I have sympathy for those who are abused, but for them to go on and be part of that abuse themselves is so wrong.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

VermiciousKnid said:


> I'm a family lawyer that has come across this very thing several times in my career. Let me assure you that legally you're absolutely ****ed. Just having possession of what you have in a house with minor children in it will buy you 10 years in prison. Your soon-to-be-ex wife has all the cards and you have ZERO. No judge will cut you even the slightest slack. Is she blackmailing you? Yes and no. In divorces you use whatever leverage you have to get out the best you can. In her case she has HUGE leverage. Just about the biggest leverage there is unless you're a serial killer and she knows where the bodies are.
> 
> My advice is for you to consult with an attorney right away. DEFINITELY try to keep this out of the courts or most likely you're going to end up in prison and won't see your children again until they're adults. You're going to "lose" this one and she's going to get what she wants BUT what you can do, with the assistance of a lawyer, is draft a non-disclosure agreement that she has to surrender any/all copies of what she found to you and that she can't tell anyone, ever. A caveat there is depending on what state you live in there are laws in place that actually requires this to be reported to the authorities and it's a felony not to. If you're in one of those states she's already committing a felony by not reporting you.
> 
> This is very serious business my man. The goal for you is to get out of this marriage without ending up in prison. Next goal is you get into therapy to get treatment for this.


This is great free advice OP.

I endured loads of unwanted sexual attention as a child and have nothing but death in my heart for child rapists.

There is really no excuse for you that you watched children being raped for the camera.

I do believe that authorities need to go after the actual rapists and coconspirators with at least as much zeal as those that like watching the children getting raped but that is another thread topic.

Get therapy and kiss your wife's ass in the crack while thanking her for her forbearance concerning you.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

VermiciousKnid said:


> I'm a family lawyer that has come across this very thing several times in my career. Let me assure you that legally you're absolutely ****ed. Just having possession of what you have in a house with minor children in it will buy you 10 years in prison. Your soon-to-be-ex wife has all the cards and you have ZERO. No judge will cut you even the slightest slack. Is she blackmailing you? Yes and no. In divorces you use whatever leverage you have to get out the best you can. In her case she has HUGE leverage. Just about the biggest leverage there is unless you're a serial killer and she knows where the bodies are.
> 
> My advice is for you to consult with an attorney right away. DEFINITELY try to keep this out of the courts or most likely you're going to end up in prison and won't see your children again until they're adults. You're going to "lose" this one and she's going to get what she wants BUT what you can do, with the assistance of a lawyer, is draft a non-disclosure agreement that she has to surrender any/all copies of what she found to you and that she can't tell anyone, ever. A caveat there is depending on what state you live in there are laws in place that actually requires this to be reported to the authorities and it's a felony not to. If you're in one of those states she's already committing a felony by not reporting you.
> 
> This is very serious business my man. The goal for you is to get out of this marriage without ending up in prison. Next goal is you get into therapy to get treatment for this.


Would a lawyer not have to report this to the police?


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## VermiciousKnid (Nov 14, 2017)

Diana7 said:


> Would a lawyer not have to report this to the police?


That depends on the state. In most, no.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

uhtred said:


> Dear OP. Since no sensible person would admit to a serious felony on a public discussion site, remembering that this really isn't anonymous, your IP address etc have been recorded, I will assume that you are a Troll, just trying to get a rise out of people. Since you are just making this up, its probably best that you don't post anything else about it. If this were real, the web site might even be required to contact law enforcement.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


This is the most despicable attitude I have read on this site.:banhim:


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

Blondilocks said:


> This is the most despicable attitude I have read on this site.:banhim:




Perhaps uhtred can explain himself??? I tend to agree with you [see my previous post a little bit upthread].


It's possible, just possible, that he might have phrased this the wrong way.:scratchhead:


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

VermiciousKnid said:


> That depends on the state. In most, no.


Ok. I know that in the UK any suspicion of child abuse/endangerment reported to a professional such as a teacher, social worker etc has to be reported. Not sure if it applies to a solicitor/lawyer.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

The OP is a victim of childhood sexual abuse - which is leaves long term psychological scars. To me that will explain a wide range of behaviors. I recommended that the OP get rid of and CP he has, and get therapy. What else would people suggest? Should he go to prison (where he will likely be sexually abused - since that is how we run our prisons)? 

The reason CP is illegal is because its production involves the sexual abuse of children. We try to stamp that out because it can traumatize people for life - as the OP is quite likely traumatized. People who have been assaulted as children act in a variety of ways - some harm themselves directly, some engage in self-destructive sexual behavior. Some harm others. The last of course is a huge problem, but to me the first goal is to find a way to fix the underlying problem that is causing that behavior. 



I view *looking* at CP as bad, but not on the same scale as abusing children, assault, murder etc. In the US however the penalties are extremely severe, in many ways worse than for murder because someone can end up on a sex offender list for the rest of their lives. 

We have children being accused of distributing child porn for sharing pictures of themselves with friends. https://www.wired.com/2009/01/kids/

One of the largest distributors of CP is the FBI. https://www.usatoday.com/story/news...sharing-thousands-child-porn-images/79108346/ Its done to entrap viewers, but if harm is being done by people seeing these images (and I think it is), isn't that an outrageous case of the FBI harming children to make arrests?

So, yes, I think the witch hunt has gone too far.

There are grades of "bad". I think that looking at images of children should not have penalties similar to those for actually abusing children. That doesn't mean I think its OK, I don't. I'd adjust penalties based on the level of involvement, with downloading free images as less severe than joining a pay-site. If the penalty were a few months in prison and therapy for a first offense, I'd be fine with that. In that case I would have advised the OP to turn himself in. But what we have now is a essentially a life-ending penalty and I can't recommend that a victim of abuse do that to themselves. 



You will find that I almost always favor less prison time for almost all crimes. I'll continue to do so until the incarceration rate in the US gets down to something comparable to the rest of the world. 


FWIW - I'm not suggesting that anyone violate current CP laws, rather I'm saying that I would like to see these laws changed. 




notmyrealname4 said:


> Perhaps uhtred can explain himself??? I tend to agree with you [see my previous post a little bit upthread].
> 
> 
> It's possible, just possible, that he might have phrased this the wrong way.:scratchhead:


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

uhtred said:


> The OP is a victim of childhood sexual abuse - which is leaves long term psychological scars. To me that will explain a wide range of behaviors. I recommended that the OP get rid of and CP he has, and get therapy. What else would people suggest? Should he go to prison (where he will likely be sexually abused - since that is how we run our prisons)?
> 
> The reason CP is illegal is because its production involves the sexual abuse of children. We try to stamp that out because it can traumatize people for life - as the OP is quite likely traumatized. People who have been assaulted as children act in a variety of ways - some harm themselves directly, some engage in self-destructive sexual behavior. Some harm others. The last of course is a huge problem, but to me the first goal is to find a way to fix the underlying problem that is causing that behavior.
> 
> ...


Nobody would produce and distribute child porn if there was no demand--i.e. nobody looking at it. I have some difficulty seeing the degree of difference between consumers and producers given that the whole enterprise requires _both _to exist. 

The rates of incarceration in other countries is irrelevant with regard to whether or not we choose to do the right thing.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> Nobody would produce and distribute child porn if there was no demand--i.e. nobody looking at it. I have some difficulty seeing the degree of difference between consumers and producers given that the whole enterprise requires _both _to exist.
> 
> The rates of incarceration in other countries is irrelevant with regard to whether or not we choose to do the right thing.


I agree. 

Those who watch it are just as guilty as those who produce it. Its an appalling crime and there has to be a strong deterrent. Many who look at it go on to actually abuse as well. There have been a few cases here in recent years where men who abused and murdered little children had been looking at child porn shortly before they did it. It fuels their desires. 
I have great sympathy for those who were abused, we have helped many like that, but we cant excuse the ongoing abuse of yet more children. It has to stop somewhere.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Diana7 said:


> I agree.
> 
> I have great sympathy for those who were abused, we have helped many like that, but we cant excuse the ongoing abuse of yet more children. It has to stop somewhere.


No more than we can excuse a child beater who was beaten as a child or a wife beater who saw his dad beat his mom. 

My dad sometimes got physical with me--I chose not to do the same with my own children. My parents were both chain smokers--I chose not to smoke. The list goes on. My wife came from a broken home on account of her mother's affair--she is resolute in fidelity. We are human beings with the power of rational thought, not animals limited by our instincts. 

I know that, statistically speaking, people are more likely to repeat patterns from their youth, but that is no excuse. We are not predetermined statistics.


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## VermiciousKnid (Nov 14, 2017)

Diana7 said:


> Ok. I know that in the UK any suspicion of child abuse/endangerment reported to a professional such as a teacher, social worker etc has to be reported. Not sure if it applies to a solicitor/lawyer.


In the U.S., lawyers, doctors, and clergy get a special level of client confidentiality. Especially with lawyers. If we report something our client has told us, we've violated their 4th and 5th amendment rights to due process and self-incrimination and any evidence gathered as a result of our report is inadmissible in court.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

MattMatt said:


> So she is in possession of child porn and is blackmailing you.
> 
> Are you in therapy as a victim of CSA?


The fact that she is possession of child pornography is in and of itself a felony, so she is now also in danger of going to jail. 

Get an attorney. Get help. You do belong in jail. You are blaming your sin on what was done to you as a child, which is called blame shifting. You are participating in molesting children when you use child pornography. It is possible that this thread will be found in a search by authorities and your IP address will be found and you will be prosecuted and sent to jail. I recommend you find yourself an attorney and ask how to get help for repenting of your perverse and violent behavior (child pornography is violence against children). You need to do this. It is not going away until you take responsibility for yourself and seek help, but you will have to do that through an attorney. You will probably end up spending time in jail, but that may be exactly what you need in order to resolve this terrible issue in your life and get free of it.


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## Rhubarb (Dec 1, 2017)

Well unless she has pictures of you looking at something or can prove what she has pictures of was in your possession, what does she really have? In fact as it stands she has child porn in her possession.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> No more than we can excuse a child beater who was beaten as a child or a wife beater who saw his dad beat his mom.
> 
> My dad sometimes got physical with me--I chose not to do the same with my own children. My parents were both chain smokers--I chose not to smoke. The list goes on. We are human beings with the power of rational thought, not animals limited by our instincts.
> 
> I know that, statistically speaking, people are more likely to repeat patterns from their youth, but that is no excuse. We are not predetermined statistics.


I agree. My dad had a long affair and possible more than one, neither my brother or I have. He looked at porn, I hate porn. The fact that he did these things has made us more determined not to. He also smoked, neither of us do. My first husband smoked, none of my children do.

We have to choose not to do what was done to us, especially when real children are being horribly abused and raped for the porn films. People may say well its better than actually doing it, but how is it better when children are being abused to make the porn? Its just as bad.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

VermiciousKnid said:


> In the U.S., lawyers, doctors, and clergy get a special level of client confidentiality. Especially with lawyers. If we report something our client has told us, we've violated their 4th and 5th amendment rights to due process and self-incrimination and any evidence gathered as a result of our report is inadmissible in court.


Ok that's very troubling as a child abuser could go one to abuse more children due to that.


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

VermiciousKnid said:


> There are courts in some states putting mothers in jail that have posted naked pictures of their young children in the bath tub. A lot of people don't realize there is zero tolerance for this type of thing. People in possession of child porn are prosecuted with extreme prejudice. That means that justice is not blind in these cases. Judges, prosecutors, and juries have ZERO sympathy and you're going to lose every time unless you were Michael Jackson.


This has me a bit worried. I have old family photo albums that include pictures of my siblings and I naked playing in the bathtub. Most parents I know have these types of photos of their children.

Will having these types of photos get me in trouble if some paranoid person reports the fact that I have them to the police?


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

The odds of something happening are extremely remote - unless the police are after you for something else and can't make it stick. 

I have an old picture of myself as a naked child. AFAIK, no one but my parents have ever seen that picture. I wonder if its legal.


I think its extremely unlikely that innocent family pictures will be targeted - but there have been some pretty horrible incidents - again probably because the police wanted the target for something else. 




Red Sonja said:


> This has me a bit worried. I have old family photo albums that include pictures of my siblings and I naked playing in the bathtub. Most parents I know have these types of photos of their children.
> 
> Will having these types of photos get me in trouble if some paranoid person reports the fact that I have them to the police?


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## VermiciousKnid (Nov 14, 2017)

Red Sonja said:


> This has me a bit worried. I have old family photo albums that include pictures of my siblings and I naked playing in the bathtub. Most parents I know have these types of photos of their children.
> 
> Will having these types of photos get me in trouble if some paranoid person reports the fact that I have them to the police?


No. Only if you post them online. State legislatures are working to modify some of these laws but it's tricky. They're trying to distinguish between cute naked kids playing in the tub and photos used by pedo's to get off. The thing is, what's just cute little kids playing naked in a tub to normal people is sexual gold to pedo's. That's why almost all states have enacted zero tolerance laws with regard to this stuff. Underage boys and girls that send nudes of themselves to their boyfriends/girlfriends are also being arrested for distributing child porn. It's the distributing that gets you in trouble and posting on any type of social media is considered distributing.


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## VermiciousKnid (Nov 14, 2017)

Diana7 said:


> Ok that's very troubling as a child abuser could go one to abuse more children due to that.


I know, sometimes these things feel really wrong but if we remove those protections then the result would be far worse.


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## Suspicious1 (Nov 19, 2017)

This whole thread just makes me cringe, I tend to have issues with those kiddie models or type of contestants that are overly matured with tons of makeup and grown up way too sexy clothing marching down a stage doing all sort of cuties gestures! 

Bizarre!




Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Pay2play said:


> Ever since I was molested my entire youth from 11 to 18 by my mother best friend. I have been looking at child porn. Not all the time but once in awhile. My molester used child porn to groom me. I know it's wrong. I know it's illegal. Its something that i allways kept to myself. Never have i or ever would i have broght This into real life by molesting anyone myself, but in hindsight i belive i was brainwashed into beliving it was ok by my molester.It's no longer a problem 4 me. About 8 months ago my wife picked up my tablet one night and found what I had been looking at. after a lot, a lot of talking we agreed I would get help. Never did get help but the shock of someone ells knowing my lifelong secret was enough to scare me strait hvent done it since. However a few days ago my wife decided due to our inability to gain any closeness after what she had found we need to separate. I agree. I need to work on myself and she as well. We have grown apart. However when I expressed that we needed to get lawyers to split our estate and figure out custody of our son. *She brought up the fact that she had taken pictures of what she found in case she needed it later, or I tried to deny it. We have a son together and she has two sons from a previous marriage, a house, 3 cars, ect. *She said we can work this out without lawyers as long as I agree to everything she wants, she thretend to call the police on me and turn me in as a child predator, if I don't move out in 2 months. Can she even do this. It feels like blackmail. After I talked in length with her about my issues.


Here you say that your wife took pictures of kiddy porn on your phone to prove that you have kiddy porn.

How can she prove that those are pictures of your from your phone? Have you destroyed the phone on which you had those pictures? I suggest that you take a hammer to the home and smash it, the memory card, etc, then dump it in a dumpster far from your home. Get a new, clean phone. If you had child porn on any computer or other device, do the same to them. Simply deleting a photo, or any file, does not necessarily remove it from the devices storage/memory. You have to destroy the device. (yes there are less destructive ways to do it but unless you are very computer savvy, don't try it. Just destroy the phone, sim card, hard drive, CD, memory device, etc.) And never, ever, again view that filthy stuff.

Now back to your wife. She is now in possession of child pornography. She is committing a felony and can be charged for it. I don't think she can prove that she got those photos from your phone (or your computer, etc.) After you destroy all devices that could get you in trouble, you might want to point out to her that she is committing a felony by having any child porn images.

Your wife is stupid. She cannot show those images to an attorney. She cannot actually use them against you because they are on her device now, not yours.

Having said the above, I want to make it clear that I think that child pornography is horrible and anyone who views it, uses it, is a disgusting human and deserves to have the full force of the law come against them. Children are harmed to produce it. So by indulging in child porn, you are harming then children yourself.

But, if you truly never indulge in it again.. you can redeem yourself.. I also believe in redemption and forgiveness if the person ends the 'sin'.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

EleGirl said:


> Here you say that your wife took pictures of kiddy porn on your phone to prove that you have kiddy porn.
> 
> How can she prove that those are pictures of your from your phone? Have you destroyed the phone on which you had those pictures? I suggest that you take a hammer to the home and smash it, the memory card, etc, then dump it in a dumpster far from your home. Get a new, clean phone. If you had child porn on any computer or other device, do the same to them. Simply deleting a photo, or any file, does not necessarily remove it from the devices storage/memory. You have to destroy the device. (yes there are less destructive ways to do it but unless you are very computer savvy, don't try it. Just destroy the phone, sim card, hard drive, CD, memory device, etc.) And never, ever, again view that filthy stuff.
> 
> ...


Just for the sake of completeness, I would like to add that even complete destruction of all the devices in question may not eliminate all evidence. 

As a military commander, I learned more than I ever wanted to about child pornography when one of my Airmen was under investigation. It seems every image ever posted on the net (no how many billions there may be) has a unique identifier. It is possible to track that identifier to every IP address that ever viewed that image. If enough such connections are made, no physical evidence may be necessary for the feds to bring charges. 

I still don't know the exact limitations of the cyberforensics here, but I would never assume what I have viewed couldn't ultimately be traced to me at some point.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> Just for the sake of completeness, I would like to add that even complete destruction of all the devices in question may not eliminate all evidence.
> 
> As a military commander, I learned more than I ever wanted to about child pornography when one of my Airmen was under investigation. It seems every image ever posted on the net (no how many billions there may be) has a unique identifier. It is possible to track that identifier to every IP address that ever viewed that image. If enough such connections are made, no physical evidence may be necessary for the feds to bring charges.
> 
> I still don't know the exact limitations of the cyberforensics here, but I would never assume what I have viewed couldn't ultimately be traced to me at some point.


I agree with this to a point. There are some things that could make it next to impossible to id who viewed and/or down loaded an image.

For example if an IP address is associated with an image, it can still be difficult to know who was using that IP address at the exact time that the image was viewed and/or downloaded. 

And example, most users here on TAM have many IP addresses associated with their user name. Plus, often times, one IP address has many users associated with it. So which of those users viewed/downloaded the image? It would have to get down to looking the time any one IP was assigned to a user by their internet service provider. It gets pretty complicated.

The IP cannot do anything about the info available from other sources.. like the info associated with an image. But he has 100% control over his own devices. So he can start by getting rid of the devices and destroying them ... maybe even burn them after he take a hammer to them. 

The point is that he cannot have anything in his possession that has images that are still on his device. Simply deleting a file does not get rid of it.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

*Moderator message:-*

Several posts were deleted because they are off topic.

If there is a requirement for a discussion of those issues, please use the appropriate section on TAM.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

There are several different things that are often lumped together as CP. Some is slightly underage people (eg 16-17) engaging in otherwise consensual sex. Some is nude pictures of children where the children are not doing anything unusual. Then there is the really appalling stuff that involves molestation of children.


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## jlcrome (Nov 5, 2017)

What is very disturbing is that there are internet police I really don't know the correct terminology but they for a living hunt down illegal activity via internet. Google is part of it also plus the part of the u.s. government is combing the internet for illegal stuff. You be surprised that with just a few words in a google search bar will lead authorities. Just know this google knows every key stroke you done, every site you visited, everything and they keep it on record for years. Just to come to an open forum and come clean hey don't be surprised if you get a visit. Hey just saying.......


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

jlcrome said:


> What is very disturbing is that there are internet police I really don't know the correct terminology but they for a living hunt down illegal activity via internet. Google is part of it also plus the part of the u.s. government is combing the internet for illegal stuff. You be surprised that with just a few words in a google search bar will lead authorities. Just know this google knows every key stroke you done, every site you visited, everything and they keep it on record for years. Just to come to an open forum and come clean hey don't be surprised if you get a visit. Hey just saying.......


Yea this too


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