# Brother-in-law & his wife



## Alicia

I come from Europe, I live in the USA for more than 10 years, married to a good guy, have a great son. My parents and my mother-in-law also live in Europe, but two years ago we decided to apply for their green card - for the ease of traveling and staying with us (they come and stay 4-6 months than go back, etc). I have a sister, and my husband has a brother and they both live here in the USA, close by. The agreement was that the parents will stay with each child 2 weeks - 2 weeks with us and than my parents with my sister and my mother-in-law with my brother-in-law, so we can all have 2 weeks on and off of "private" times. 
Well, it worked the first time around, but when my mother-in-law came second time she was literally kicked out buy brother-in-law's wife. 
I have to say that my mother-in-law is a nice lady and really easy to deal with. The only issue with her is that she doesn't want to see that her older son (my B-I-L) is a liar and coward. 
I am only guessing that my B-I-L did not inform his wife about the agreement and that this was not one time deal. His wife is 12 years younger than him and she treats him like a piece of YOU KNOW WHAT. Her parents and sister are welcome to their house. The last time my husband was invited to my B-I-L house was approx. 5 years ago. She is just a bad person but I blame him for not working things out between his family and his wife.
To get to my problem: After my mother-in-law was kicked out, my B-I-L put her in a hotel BY MY HOUSE and she was devastated. I told to my husband that she should come and stay with us for the rest of her visit (6months) but I want him to straight things out with his brother. I did this only because I felt bad for this lady - her sons brought her here and they should take responsibility for doing so. But at the same time I feel like these people are using me - I am very soft inside and I think they all count on this (I think including my husband).
My husband talked to his brother and he said blah, blah, he will divorce her (which no one asked him to do), she is garbage, he will work this out. Well, his marriage is always miraculously improved whenever his family is not around. I don’t feel good about everything what happened, because I had to open my husband’s eyes about his family especially his “big” brother. My husband is 7 years younger and always treated like “younger and naïve”. Now, my mother-in-law is coming in January, and my B-I-L said that SHE CAN STAY WITH THEM EVERY TWO WEEKS. Well, guess what, my mother-in-law does not want to. I knew there is something behind his offer; he knew that my m-i-l will not want to stay with them. So, what do I do now? I really need some private time with my family and I don’t want to do the same thing again (invite her over for 4 months). 
Few more things: my brother-in-law owns another property here and that one is used by HIS IN-LAWS; my mother-in-law has 2 properties back in Europe and she has already signed one over to my B-I-L. 
I hope you will not call me a fool (I already feel like one), I am only trying to do right thing, but don’t want to be used.
Thanks for the ideas!
Alicia


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## draconis

Hey the m-i-l can watch the kiddos and give you two a night out. Or you can get away at a motel for a quiet night. Find ways to make it work for all of you.

draconis


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