# please help me---need input



## faithaqua (Nov 28, 2011)

First, are there any folks on here that were the ones that initiated the separation/divorce? Just curious...I read so many posts and I feel the pain. I'm in it too.
We've been separated since October---seeing each other occassionally (me keeping the connection, him just having sex). Last night, we talked and he said let's just get the divorce already---go to Staples, get the package and get it done (OUCH). Seems so easy for him. I feel as if I never mattered, didn't count, as if I weren't even a part of him.
Is this the way it is?
I want to know that somewhere in him he still loves me or something. The apathy is killing me.
Input anyone?


----------



## ProfJ (Jul 28, 2011)

faithaqua said:


> First, are there any folks on here that were the ones that initiated the separation/divorce? Just curious...I read so many posts and I feel the pain. I'm in it too.
> We've been separated since October---seeing each other occassionally (me keeping the connection, him just having sex). Last night, we talked and he said let's just get the divorce already---go to Staples, get the package and get it done (OUCH). Seems so easy for him. I feel as if I never mattered, didn't count, as if I weren't even a part of him.
> Is this the way it is?
> I want to know that somewhere in him he still loves me or something. The apathy is killing me.
> Input anyone?



I'm sorry...my stbxh did the same thing. There are no words to make you feel better at this time, so I just hope you will be able to find the strength to go through with it.


----------



## Riverside MFT (Oct 5, 2009)

Faithaqua,
More than likely, your husband mentally "broke up" with you a long time ago, while you have not broken up with him. This is probably why he doesn't "love" you and why you are trying to find that love somewhere inside of him.

Know that your situation does not get easier, but you will get stronger. Take it one day at a time. Be strong! You can do this!


----------



## [email protected] (Dec 18, 2011)

faithaqua said:


> First, are there any folks on here that were the ones that initiated the separation/divorce? Just curious...I read so many posts and I feel the pain. I'm in it too.
> We've been separated since October---seeing each other occassionally (me keeping the connection, him just having sex). Last night, we talked and he said let's just get the divorce already---go to Staples, get the package and get it done (OUCH). Seems so easy for him. I feel as if I never mattered, didn't count, as if I weren't even a part of him.
> Is this the way it is?
> I want to know that somewhere in him he still loves me or something. The apathy is killing me.
> Input anyone?


Faith I initiated- my husband has been unfithful for a long time, he has shut down and is now acting as if he initiated the divorce. The only thing I can say is it was not an easy decision to file. I would still take a miracle if one came along.

The indifference thing kills me too, but I think tht sys more about them and how they cope with their feelings than about us xx Focus o yourself, you cant make him change his mind, so dont try, in the words of a certain vitamin ad - be yourself - but on a good day. If there is a glimmer of hope that is where you will find it. You might even find yourself xxxx:smthumbup:


----------



## faithaqua (Nov 28, 2011)

I am responding to the mentally out of love post...and that things won't get easier---I hope they do. 
I feel so foolish and while I'm sure that post held truth, I didn't want to hear that he doesn't love me :0(
this is the worst part...


----------

