# Your Experience with condoms in Marriage...



## wantshelp (Mar 10, 2016)

@ThisIsAUserName mentioned this in his birth control thread and I wanted to go deeper... Pun intended 

For guys, how does the pleasure of sex compare when wearing a condom versus not wearing a condom? 

For gals, how is pleasure impacted when your lover wears a condom? What is your perception of how your husband/partner feels about it? 

I know BadSanta will chime in with "the ultra thin foreign condoms are the best!"... ok, got it BadSanta 

I'll start with myself. I used condoms until we were married. Trojan Sensitive or something, although I have tried a wide variety. Sex was ok, but masturbation was better. The only reason to have sex was to feel the connection and to satisfy my libido. When I climax with the condom on, the first muscle contraction feels good, but the following ones actually hurt because the tip of the condom gets filled with semen. So, the orgasm would get snuffed out right after starting. What happens next is that the condom and filled tip basically blocks further ejaculation and the pressure of the semen getting forced back in causing pain proximal to the base of my penis. Is this normal? I think I was using it right? Maybe I ejaculate an unusually large volume of semen..? I tried to leave extra condom at the tip to help, but during sex, it would always get packed down tight from the thrusting. And, I never felt like I had enough awareness to time it so that I could get out and take off the condom in time, so I could ejaculate elsewhere. To be honest, for me, sex with a condom is really a crappy experience. Do others have this experience? 

But _without _condoms, sex was amazing. It's really quite different. The unimpeded ejaculation (like masturbation) and the loving connection is an awesome combo. 

But, when I hear women consider condoms as a long term solution during marriage, it makes me wonder whether women are aware that sex with condoms can be terrible for a man. Maybe it's men's fault for not saying anything...


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## LucasJackson (May 26, 2016)

Condoms suck. All of them.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Neither of us like condoms - they definitely reduce the pleasure and spontaneity for both of us. So, we've never used them, other than when she had to have her IUD removed temporarily. I'd probably avoid starting a relationship where long-term use was expected or necessary.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Condoms in marriage? Sorry, does not compute.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

wantshelp said:


> For guys, how does the pleasure of sex compare when wearing a condom versus not wearing a condom?


Pleasure with condom = drastically reduced (for some kinks this can be a plus)
Pleasure without condom = superior

I actually get upset that there are no other reliable and readily available forms of male birth control. 

Badsanta


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## C3156 (Jun 13, 2012)

Vasectomy = No condoms


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Several years into our marriage, I developed a sensitivity to my husband's semen. Having your lady bits drenched in a dose of what feels like acid, makes sex much less fun than one might hope. My doctor said it was likely a pH compatibility problem, rather than a true allergy. My husband was unhappy with any of the other options (change diet, stop smoking, curb drinking, withdraw before ejaculation, etc.), so we chose to use condoms. I shopped around for the thinnest (yes, a non-US brand) I could find and he was actually pleasantly surprised with how little they impacted sensation. The ones we used had a large reservoir at the tip, so he never mentioned having any pain from pressure during ejaculation. We used condoms during PIV for probably the last 10 years of our marriage. 

It was not ideal, but he was unwilling to explore any other possible remedies or to even see his or my doctor to discuss the problem, making condoms the most logical choice.


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## wantshelp (Mar 10, 2016)

Rowan said:


> Several years into our marriage, I developed a sensitivity to my husband's semen. Having your lady bits drenched in a dose of what feels like acid, makes sex much less fun than one might hope. My doctor said it was likely a pH compatibility problem, rather than a true allergy.


Very interesting. If it's a pH issue, I would think some kind of anti-acid in the vagina would help neutralize the acidity. I don't know what dose would be necessary... Anyway, no matter now. Out of curiosity... do you have this problem with other men since developing this sensitivity?


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## wantshelp (Mar 10, 2016)

LucasJackson said:


> Condoms suck. All of them.


So does my description of condoms sound familiar? What sucks about them for you?


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## anonmd (Oct 23, 2014)

There have been times we've used condoms and more times we haven't. Do I prefer no condom, sure - absolutely. Is using condoms the terrible unfulfilling torture session the OP describes in the first post? No, sorry, can't go along with that...


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## wantshelp (Mar 10, 2016)

anonmd said:


> Is using condoms the terrible unfulfilling torture session the OP describes in the first post? No, sorry, can't go along with that...


Thank you! I'd always assumed all men had the same experience but just downplayed it when they said that they would prefer no condom. So maybe there is something different/wrong with me? That is certainly useful information.


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## LucasJackson (May 26, 2016)

wantshelp said:


> So does my description of condoms sound familiar? What sucks about them for you?


The decreased sensitivity. The taste they leave behind in the vagina. I feel like condoms are for screwing a hooker with, not someone you're being intimate with. There's no intimacy when you're screwing a piece of latex and the women is getting screwed by a piece of latex.


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## wantshelp (Mar 10, 2016)

LucasJackson said:


> The decreased sensitivity.


Does it take longer to climax with a condom?


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## LucasJackson (May 26, 2016)

wantshelp said:


> Does it take longer to climax with a condom?


I believe so but it doesn't feel as good when you do climax. For that matter neither does climaxing from a blow job, anal, handjob, etc. For me, and I assume most human males, orgasms feel best when they're deep inside a warm wet vagina, as the universe intended.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Only used them in my first marriage when W went off of her birth control pills, and I was waiting for the negative all-clear signal from my vasectomy results!

I literally hated using those damned "raincoats!"

Just give me  "au naturale"  any day!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

I guess that I am much different than most of the posters. I have used condoms in marriage, especially at times when we didn't want more children and my wife didn't want to be on the pill. 

I generally prefer not to use a condom now that my wife is past menopause, as I like the idea of my sperm in my wife's body. I like the mental image of me being part of her the next day when we are apart. But that is just mental imagery, and not what if feels like when having sex. Still it does bring a smile to my face.

What I like about condom sex is that having a woman put it on can be an interesting bit of ritual foreplay. It says in a very primal mental way by your spouse, I want you and I am going to have you.

I really like to wear extra small condoms. The reason will probably surprise you. They act like a co#k ring and restrict blood flow so they delay loosing an erection after ejaculation. That allows me to remain in and connected to my wife and cuddle with her post orgasm a bit longer. Those are very special moments to me. 

[Digression: When I was first married, I was in a local birth control store that just sold only condoms and lubes (about a hundred varieties of condoms). I was looking for the snuggest condoms I could find. In walked a woman who announced to the lady clerk in the store that her boyfriend hated condoms, because he was so huge and she needed the largest condoms made. The clerk showed the lady the largest sized condoms they had. I said I liked the smallest that I could find and explained why. The lady bought some extra large ones and some extra small ones. I sensed she wanted to conduct an experiment on her boyfriend. Post orgasmic cuddling can be a special time.]

Condoms prevent a wet spot in the bed. If you like to cuddle after orgasm and fall asleep in each others arms, you will sooner or later wake up when you roll onto a wet spot.

Sex is 90+% mental as your biggest sex organ is between your ears, not you legs. Condoms can enhance or detract from the sexual experience, it all depends on how you and your partner view them and use them. I think that they can be a plus. 

So for the condom haters, how many of you have ever bought some ribbed or nubbed or flavored condoms to make things a little more interesting in the bedroom? Hard to change the texture and flavor of your penis as easily as with a condom.

See condom use isn't all bad, even in marriage.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

wantshelp said:


> Out of curiosity... do you have this problem with other men since developing this sensitivity?


No, I haven't had any issues with subsequent partners.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

My husband usually puts on condoms when we are having too much fun and we want to make it last. When he feels like he is going to orgasm quickly, or before we want, he will hop off the bed and put a condom on and we continue. The positives: makes him last longer, easy cleanup, no pregnancy. The negatives: makes his penis taste funny. I'm sure my husband would say decrease sensitivity for him. Personally I refuse to use birth control pills. I follow my cycle religiously and when we are within a week of ovulation than he pulls out. If he has a problem with this repertoire then he will need to get a vasectomy.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

I can't say I have a lot of experience there. My Trojans are past their expiration date long before they're called into action. Darned Costco warehouse size package should last me till 2075.

(Stole it from Comedy Central  )


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

I've never used a condom. 

The handful of women I've been with either didn't need or want it.
keep in mind though, I've only been with one woman in her 20's and one other in her 30's.

the rest were beyond child bearing or had uterus removed.
That, plus I've never pursued women for sex only.
I've lived a sheltered life sex wise.

had I needed to use one at some point I guess I would have, but the thought is not very inviting.

glad I've never had to, or will ever, especially after reading all this!


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## meson (May 19, 2011)

Mrs. meson couldnt use the pill so we used condoms in combination with the rhythm method. We never used condoms alone though, it was always with spermicide in addition. We found that lamb skin condoms felt the best for both of us. Lamb skin stuck less and were lubricated in addition to allowing more of the feeling of warmth.

After our last kid was born I got a vasectomy and haven't looked back since.


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## Seppuku (Sep 22, 2010)

You're wearing the condoms incorrectly if you are feeling excessive pressure during ejaculation. The segment's being forced back inside? Really?

I used them until we were ready to have children. When we were done with children, i got a vasectomy. I never had a problem with them, but then again I never experienced sex without them until we started trying for our first daughter.

They are preferred to other methods (birth control pills, hormonal iud) because the rest have side effects on many women.

My wife couldn't really feel the difference, but I sure could. It's still better than having a child you're not trying to have.


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## vel (Aug 27, 2016)

Condoms were used in the first few years, since they're common and that's what everyone uses. It sucked. I'd always get burned from the repetitive friction against plastic, and the condom-lube would drip everywhere. Honestly I think I minded condoms more than him. We couldn't have sex daily because I needed time to recover inbetween condom burns.

Then I found the non-hormonal copper IUD. Life-changer.


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## Phil Anders (Jun 24, 2015)

My experience with condoms in marriage? 

Awful! 

The sex became boring, forced and infrequent.

I could perform, grind away for 30 min at a time

yet pleasure and the delightful feeling of intimacy were at a minimum. 

From other previous experience, I knew it wasn't ME.
__

So I got rid of the marriage, and sex got a lot better.

Even with condoms. 

(Which totally suck, btw.)

:wink2:


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## Capricious (Sep 21, 2016)

I hate condoms. Sex does not feel the same with them. To me it does not even feel real. We have only used them a handful of times in the past.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

No problems or dislike on my end. None of my partners reported the issues you have had, @wantshelp, nor have I observed those issues. Maybe watch a video or something to see where things are going wrong?


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

MJJEAN said:


> No problems or dislike on my end. None of my partners reported the issues you have had, @wantshelp, nor have I observed those issues. *Maybe watch a video or something to see where things are going wrong?*


I was going to be helpful and try to find such a video for the OP, but the one I just watched the guy was speaking Russian, would fill them with gelatin, and then place it just in front of his computer mouse and use it for a comfortable place to rest his wrist while working. He then proceeded to use them as:

• Materials for creating a slingshot.
• Pulled them over his hands to create a webbing so he could swim faster. 
• Filled them with erectionium gas so they could fly.
• Waterproof a karaoke microphone and sing underwater.
• Filled with water and used it to focus sunlight and catch things on fire. 
• Filled them with butane to create fireballs 

While I did not understand anything the guy was saying in Russian, I am fairly certain that the whole video was a furious rant about being in a sexless marriage and that he was going to use all these condoms one way or another!!

Badsanta


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

wantshelp said:


> Does it take longer to climax with a condom?


There was a study done recently, though I can't recall where I read about it. Anyhow, they found that the length of time from the beginning of penetration until ejaculation was the same with or without a condom. As I recall the study looked pretty robust, with a large number of participants over a significant length of time, so there were many people each with many sexual events logged.

Perhaps there is a false impression that it takes longer to climax with the condom.

If I recall correctly, the study also found no difference in women's orgasms with or without condoms.


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## wantshelp (Mar 10, 2016)

Thor said:


> There was a study done recently, though I can't recall where I read about it. Anyhow, they found that the length of time from the beginning of penetration until ejaculation was the same with or without a condom. As I recall the study looked pretty robust, with a large number of participants over a significant length of time, so there were many people each with many sexual events logged.
> 
> Perhaps there is a false impression that it takes longer to climax with the condom.
> 
> If I recall correctly, the study also found no difference in women's orgasms with or without condoms.


I totally believe that you're probably correct about what that study reported, but I have very little confidence in a study that tries to quantify something as subjective as sexual satisfaction or reports of orgasm time. That kind of thing would have to be self reported and is unlikely to be well controlled in a study. So, I would have to look at the study methods and I'm sure it would not meet with my high standards. Also, I find it difficult to believe that reduced sensation, has no correlation to orgasm time. That would imply that sensation is not necessary or has has a reduced role in orgasm and I can unequivocally tell you that it is most certainly necessary for me.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

wantshelp said:


> I totally believe that you're probably correct about what that study reported, but I have very little confidence in a study that tries to quantify something as subjective as sexual satisfaction or reports of orgasm time. That kind of thing would have to be self reported and is unlikely to be well controlled in a study. So, I would have to look at the study methods and I'm sure it would not meet with my high standards. *Also, I find it difficult to believe that reduced sensation, has no correlation to orgasm time. That would imply that sensation is not necessary or has has a reduced role in orgasm* and I can unequivocally tell you that it is most certainly necessary for me.


Generally speaking there are two forms of stimulation:

• Physical 
• Mental 

Those two forms of stimulation combine in a way that can not be separated during acts of sex. My wife can describe to me something that she might be about to do to me, and I kid you not it feels just as good or not even better as if she was actually doing it. Scientific research also points to the following in the ways that these forms of stimulus are experienced if they are the only form of stimulus available for reaching orgasm:

• Physical (immature easy and only 20% of overall capacity)
• Mental (mature advanced and about 80% of overall capacity)

So in that sense condoms can become a useful tool to help develop an advanced sense of one's sexuality. If a couple can engage more mentally during sex, while reducing physical stimulation, HOLY COW!!!!!!!

Regards, 
Badsanta

PS: @wantshelp if you want to understand what I am talking about, try masturbating exclusively using condoms. Less hand, more thought!


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## Marriednatlanta (Sep 21, 2016)

We use condoms in the beginning because we screwed up on the BC plan before our wedding. Sooo, I wore them on wedding night, honeymoon etc...a few months later we went without. Kinda sucked kinda ruined the moment (most times). In end looks like we never even needed them. I was a virgin and I was married. LOL.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

wantshelp said:


> I totally believe that you're probably correct about what that study reported, but I have very little confidence in a study that tries to quantify something as subjective as sexual satisfaction or reports of orgasm time. That kind of thing would have to be self reported and is unlikely to be well controlled in a study. So, I would have to look at the study methods and I'm sure it would not meet with my high standards. Also, I find it difficult to believe that reduced sensation, has no correlation to orgasm time. That would imply that sensation is not necessary or has has a reduced role in orgasm and I can unequivocally tell you that it is most certainly necessary for me.


The study had participants hit a timer start/stop. They also had the women report whether or not they had an orgasm. While no study is perfect, I think this one sounds fairly good. What it doesn't address is the psychological and emotional sides of sex. For me there is something much different when not using a condom. I've also read that scientific studies have shown the difference in sensation for the man is the transference of heat rather than a dulling of sensation of pressure.

What I found interesting is that we may tend to put too much of a negative prejudice against condoms than they deserve in reality. It may be much more an issue of psychology than physiology.

That said, a vasectomy is in my future at some point rather than have to use condoms.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

I hate condoms!


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## wantshelp (Mar 10, 2016)

Thor said:


> That said, a vasectomy is in my future at some point rather than have to use condoms.


Have you suggested a Copper IUD to your partner? Honestly, after my medical nightmare with my urologist and the lifelong sexual dysfunction he gave me, I wouldn't let a surgeon touch that part of my body. Not to mention the potential for painful orgasm after the procedure. A copper IUD is safer, easier, cheaper, reversible.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

wantshelp said:


> Have you suggested a Copper IUD to your partner? Honestly, after my medical nightmare with my urologist and the lifelong sexual dysfunction he gave me, I wouldn't let a surgeon touch that part of my body. Not to mention the potential for painful orgasm after the procedure. A copper IUD is safer, easier, cheaper, reversible.


I'm in the process of getting divorced. With no intention of getting married again. So my partners will be girlfriends, not a wife, at least for the foreseeable future.

In the past I said I'd never get a vasectomy due to the potential problems. A few years ago I had an epididymectomy, which is a "radical" vasectomy on one testicle, where they remove the epididymous and tie off the vas. The only side effect I've had is the occasional little sting. I figure if this is the worst I get with the radical procedure, getting the other side done with a simple vasectomy shouldn't be a problem.

My urologist is also a board certified general surgeon with a superb reputation amongst the surgical staff. I wouldn't be so sure if I had to go to someone else.


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## LongParFour (Sep 21, 2016)

There is no way on planet earth I would wear a condom while having sex with my wife. We tried it, and can never find one that fits right. It cuts off the circulation and ruins the experience for me. As soon as I would put on the condom, my erection would start to die. I got a vasectomy and it's the best thing that's ever happened.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## bilbag (Aug 3, 2016)

Sex with condom is not terrible for me. I don't feel the discomfort you mentioned. It has been so long since w was on the pill that I forgot what I am missing without the condom. W doesn't say anything say anything negative either. Try a different size.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## wantshelp (Mar 10, 2016)

bilbag said:


> It has been so long since w was on the pill that I forgot what I am missing without the condom.


Interesting. So you routinely wear a condom as your form of contraception in marriage? What brand/type of condoms are you using?


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## wantshelp (Mar 10, 2016)

Double post


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## bilbag (Aug 3, 2016)

wantshelp said:


> Interesting. So you routinely wear a condom as your form of contraception in marriage? What brand/type of condoms are you using?


Yes, not a big fan of the drug industry. One of the reasons she took the pill was because her doctor said it would help her migraine headaches. No help there at all. I am using the Trojan Ultra Thin the past few years. No unintended pregnancy so far, in 22 yrs. In the not so distant future, her menopause will kick in and condom will be history. But one never knows with my wife. She likes things clean, doesn't like saliva on her body. She doesn't like dogs because they lick so we have cats. Semen inside her may not be agreeable for her. Probably OCD. But her body excites me so I smile through it all.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## wantshelp (Mar 10, 2016)

bilbag said:


> She likes things clean...


Yeah, I do concede that is a big plus. It's far less messy. If the feeling is not diminished without the condom for you, that's great. A win-win. Do you ever start without condom, to get that skin contact, then switch to capture the money shot? I ask because, as you suggested, you haven't tried without for 22 years. Or why not go "al fresco" when you know it's safe based on menstrual cycle? Certainly, your wife owes you at least one sloppy+naked+"al fresco" sex session every 22 years, am I right? Do you have any kids?


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## bilbag (Aug 3, 2016)

We also have two kids, ours are 12 and 15. My wife does not want to have another, so sex without condom/contraception is not going to happen. Her cycle is erratic. Do you take that risk by using the menstrual cycle? 
Also, she was on the pill for a year (before our second child was born), so not exactly 22 yrs. We had fun without the latex then. Plus during the periods for wanting children. 
Like yourself, I've gone through years of sexless marriage. I have to pick my battles, and a sloppy+naked+"al fresco" sex session is going to have to wait. Having weekly sex is top priority. Hopefully your wife is giving you what you are needing, al fresco or otherwise?


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## Capricious (Sep 21, 2016)

Relying on cycles is not always a safe bet in trying to avoid a pregnancy even if cycles are regular.

Mine have always been regular and I got pregnant during a "safe" time in my cycle (all good though our 3rd completed our family).

Got my tubes done after baby was born. We both hate condoms. Nowhere near the real thing for me the handful of times we have used them.


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

I was on the pill for almost 3 years at the beginning of our relationship.

I started to have health issues; so we changed to using condoms.

And that was the first time that PIV lasted more than 90 seconds. We could get up to about 3 minutes with a condom on.

So, I can't relate to what I've read on this thread. I had no idea they could be such an awful experience for a guy.


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## moth-into-flame (Oct 28, 2016)

Condoms are awful. I have a difficult time achieving/maintaining an erection with them. It's psychological and physical. Complete bo*er killer.


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## LongParFour (Sep 21, 2016)

moth-into-flame said:


> Condoms are awful. I have a difficult time achieving/maintaining an erection with them. It's psychological and physical. Complete bo*er killer.




Agreed. I have never found a condom that fits, they are all too tight, cuts off the circulation and completely kills the mood.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Once with my first husband I messed up on BC so we had to use condoms for a month. To me it felt like he was ramming a balloon in my crotch, and they felt very uncomfortable to him. We both hated them, and I never messed up on my BC after that!!!


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## wild jade (Jun 21, 2016)

Spicy said:


> Once with my first husband I messed up on BC so we had to use condoms for a month. To me it felt like he was *ramming a balloon in my crotch,* and they felt very uncomfortable to him. We both hated them, and I never messed up on my BC after that!!!


Perfect description! That's what it feels like for me too. Hate condoms.

But as a friend once said, they're better than no sex at all.


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## ThisIsAUserName (Sep 9, 2016)

I read through most of the thread, sorry if I repeat what was already said..

WHY DOES BC HAVE TO HAVE SUCH BAD SIDE EFFECTS!?!?!?! It's literally infuriating. I wish I never got to feel what it was like to have sex the natural way, then it wouldn't be so bad. Now, it's completely ruined for both of us. The connection we both used to feel was other-worldly. Doing things like role-playing making a baby, and having quickies before/during work or other times where I would know that my woman, my love, my soul mate was walking around with my juice all up inside her. Doing things like waking her up, pulling down our clothes just barely enough to allow for penetration, injecting her, and then falling asleep, all while never breaking up the snuggle. Not to mention having a mind completely free of any kind of worry, we could truly explore each other sexually without the constant thought of having to be careful, not getting too close to orgasm, pulling out during sex and feeling the tip of my penis to feel if I came a little, freaking out if I think I did, etc, etc.. Condoms completely cut off the connected feelings, reduce sensitivity, make the vagina smell and taste weird (as was mentioned by someone else), it makes sex feel like an entirely different activity altogether. Condoms are for banging. Sex is for spiritual inter-connectivity with your mate.

My lady and I had some more discussions about alternatives (specifically the copper IUD) and she also had a girl's night with some friends where they discussed this as well. One of her friends had an absolute nightmare with IUD's, both hormonal and not. Hers moved and needed to be re-set, and she said that it causes a lot of pain and discomfort and creates a menstrual nightmare. Knowing my lady's insanely sensitive body, an IUD would probably kill her. Hormones are out of the question, so no pills, no rings.

Does anyone have experience with spermicide? It seems like it would be extremely ineffective and a huge risk, but MAYBE used in combination with the timing method, it could be relied on for special occasions? I'm freaking desperate here, our sex life has screeched to a near halt, and that's not just me. My lady is more upset about it than I am in some ways! She agrees that sex now has far, far less appeal because I have to pull out, and also because there's is just this ever-present underlying note of worry...

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Maybe give the IUD a whirl. I have no side effects other than barely any periods at all. I aboultely love it. Have had it for almost a decade now. If it gives her problems, it will take her gyno all of 2 minutes to remove it.




ThisIsAUserName said:


> I read through most of the thread, sorry if I repeat what was already said..
> 
> WHY DOES BC HAVE TO HAVE SUCH BAD SIDE EFFECTS!?!?!?! It's literally infuriating. I wish I never got to feel what it was like to have sex the natural way, then it wouldn't be so bad. Now, it's completely ruined for both of us. The connection we both used to feel was other-worldly. Doing things like role-playing making a baby, and having quickies before/during work or other times where I would know that my woman, my love, my soul mate was walking around with my juice all up inside her. Doing things like waking her up, pulling down our clothes just barely enough to allow for penetration, injecting her, and then falling asleep, all while never breaking up the snuggle. Not to mention having a mind completely free of any kind of worry, we could truly explore each other sexually without the constant thought of having to be careful, not getting too close to orgasm, pulling out during sex and feeling the tip of my penis to feel if I came a little, freaking out if I think I did, etc, etc.. Condoms completely cut off the connected feelings, reduce sensitivity, make the vagina smell and taste weird (as was mentioned by someone else), it makes sex feel like an entirely different activity altogether. Condoms are for banging. Sex is for spiritual inter-connectivity with your mate.
> 
> ...


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Spicy said:


> To me it felt like he was ramming a balloon in my crotch, and they felt very uncomfortable to him.


Lambskin condoms, because the barrier is made from natural/biological materials does not cause this. A long time ago when I had to use condoms, my wife commented that these felt much more natural for her.

The first time I used one, I freaked out as I thought it slid off during climax, but when I checked it was still there and had indeed done the job it was designed to do. 

Badsanta


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Condoms are great!!!!! You can put them over the barrel of your gun during hunting season if it's wet or raining. They're great for keeping the moisture out.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Marc878 said:


> Condoms are great!!!!! You can put them over the barrel of your gun during hunting season if it's wet or raining. They're great for keeping the moisture out.


OMG, I wish I could find the documentary that discussed this, but in 3rd world countries struggling with the spread of AIDS, there are charities that have tried almost every means possible to give the population access to condoms and educate them about the benefits of using them. 



















So following up to see if the use of condoms were effective for the population, and what happened was unexpected, but I thought it demonstrated how resourceful and creative that these people actually were. Virtually NONE of the condoms were used to improve reproductive health, all of them had gone towards being used as parts for improving their local textile industry as they discovered that the surface area of lubricated condoms was ideal for spinning wool much more effectively. 

I can't find a picture, but imagine condoms in use here to help the wool fibers glide over certain surfaces of this machine! 










Cheers, 
Badsanta


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Husband always said condoms felt like a rain coat...







though this never prevented his getting an erection or getting off.. that would be unheard of ! We still enjoyed sex...we used them for years... 

Dealing with secondary infertility.. I knew all about when I was fertile, judging the cervical mucus, and when it was safe to forgo the rubber....we did have one slip up (our 4th son).. I knew it was cutting it close, we took a chance that night...

Then I got the non-hormonal IUD (Paragard)... I swear this spiked my drive.. that feeling of freedom suddenly... yes.. so much better without.. HEAVENLY ! 

The hate for condoms talk is not a good thing -especially for our young people - in an age of rampant causal sex - just more venereal diseases to go around..


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

SimplyAmorous said:


> The hate for condoms talk is not a good thing -especially for our young people - in an age of rampant causal sex - just more venereal diseases to go around..


Just take them to see David Blaine!


*Here write your name on a condom! Now place that in your pocket. Walk in here and see if there is anywhere to get out!










OK, now I'm going to fill this with water and try to escape.










(Muffled yelling from underwater, "check in your back pockets!")








*


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

Young at Heart said:


> I guess that I am much different than most of the posters. I have used condoms in marriage, especially at times when we didn't want more children and my wife didn't want to be on the pill.
> 
> I generally prefer not to use a condom now that my wife is past menopause, as I like the idea of my sperm in my wife's body. I like the mental image of me being part of her the next day when we are apart. But that is just mental imagery, and not what if feels like when having sex. Still it does bring a smile to my face.
> 
> ...


My experience was more like what you described as opposed to the horrible experience that some describe. At the very worst, condoms were no big deal.

Then again, I never had any problems with having an orgasm. Some men act as though they've put on an iron tube with a condom, but condoms were never a big deal with me. I've also read where some men can't have an orgasm with a BJ, HJ, or condom, but I was never able to relate to or understand that. I always found my wife to be attractive, so as long as i was with her in the flesh, it didn't really matter what was going on. As you said, 90% is mental.


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## wantshelp (Mar 10, 2016)

SimplyAmorous said:


> The hate for condoms talk is not a good thing -especially for our young people - in an age of rampant causal sex - just more venereal diseases to go around..


Uh oh, you poked the bear... Getting onto soap box...

I disagree completely. The truth about how much condoms suck (particularly for men) is a topic that should not be brushed under the rug because it's inconvenient for some. I don't think women have any hesitation whatsoever about taking about the negative side effects of birth control. Nor should they. A free and open discussion of our experiences is the only way things will ever improve. I used condoms for many years and had no idea that sex was so much better without them because people/ads misled me about that. That needs to stop. At the time, we were using birth control and condoms to ensure no pregnancy. This was because we were misled into believing that condoms feel just as good as no condom. I even believed that they may feel better because they are ribbed and have sensation enhancing gel. But no. I found out all that was BULL. Sex without a condom feels best by a mile for me. Period. The two years that I had sex the most in my life were with unnecessary condoms and I strongly regret using them now. I missed out on a mountain of awesome orgasms that I can't ever get back. And now having a sexual dysfunction, it really sets me off because I can't ever get that back now. Don't get me wrong condoms have their use for uncommitted people and those without other forms of contraceptive, but the truth should not be a casualty of our need for effective contraceptives.


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## Jelena (Dec 5, 2016)

everytime me and my husband do it he wears one, which isnt that often these days. only time he didnt wear them is when we were trying for kids. i quickly learned that when he didnt wear them he came super quick. he doesnt last long when wearing them let alone without


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dalkon_Shield


I wouldn't get an IUD for anything.

My husband could have gotten a vasectomy decades ago. No way. He absolutely refused. And that's fine I can understand the reluctance to do that.

So, after I started having issues with the pill, we used condoms. And, like I said upthread, sex began to last a little bit longer (not much though).

Natural, spontaneous, care-free sex is what ends up producing large amounts of children. Isn't that interesting?


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

I had to use condoms for decades, since my wife had a history of blood clots and that was contra indicative for birth control pills. I...learned to live with it. After a few broken ones, we added spermicidal foam to the process too. THAT kind of cut down on my giving her oral sex!

Either the thin ones, OR the heavily ribbed ones gave me the most pleasure.


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## Holdingontoit (Mar 7, 2012)

Using condoms brings out more of the underlying truth of your sex life.

If you have to add a line item to your budget for condoms, that means you are having lots of sex. Throwing out empty condom boxes and buying new boxes is a thrill.

If your box of condoms expires with many unused left in the box, THAT is a bad sex life.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)




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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Holdingontoit said:


> *Using condoms brings out more of the underlying truth of your sex life.
> *


For a moment there @Holdingontoit I thought you were going to say that if a 0.03 mm barrier is enough to ruin your sex life, that there was not much of one there to begin with! 

Kind if comes across similar to the guys that complain that if the woman does not "groom" down there, then it rather an unappetizing experience. 

Is it true that a condom will dull the experience? Yes! But if a slight bit of dullness is a make it or break it aspect of your sex life, when then that will bring out the truth that you are doing it all wrong and have A LOT of things to work on!

I guess we live in a society that only values overstimulation and instant gratification, anything else is simply deemed inefficient.

Badsanta


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## Holdingontoit (Mar 7, 2012)

@badsanta: I agree with you. For me, the experience was similar to what some ladies expressed. It helped me last longer, which was welcome. Well, welcome to me. Decent chance H2 was angry that she had to wait longer for it to be over. She said she hated using them and that is why she was on the pill. I thought she meant it felt worse for her. But maybe she meant she hated them because I lasted longer and so her torture was prolonged.

As you say, it is all a matter of perspective.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

badsanta said:


> For a moment there @Holdingontoit I thought you were going to say that if a 0.03 mm barrier is enough to ruin your sex life, that there was not much of one there to begin with!
> 
> Kind if comes across similar to the guys that complain that if the woman does not "groom" down there, then it rather an unappetizing experience.
> 
> ...


Eh, depends. I love my sex life with DH. He is the best sex of my life and I've had some great partners. However, if DH wears a condom it detracts from the experience by being a distraction, for lack of a better word. My vaginal walls are sensitive. I can easily tell the difference in feel between skin and a sheath. To me, a condom makes a man feel like a piece of plastic, like a dildo, and it's just not as good. 

Not to mention the taste and smell! So, not only are they distracting, unappealing in terms of sensation, but they are also limiting because my choices are do without random oral for one or both of us or to stop and wash the condom ick away. Which derails the vibe, especially if the vibe was more primal.

On top of all that, I don't get to feel his orgasm inside me which is a disappointment.

Honestly, I see condoms as a necessary evil when dating around, but I'd never be happy using them regularly within marriage.

I should probably go write the doctor that did my tubal a thank you letter. "Holiday Greetings, Dr. M! Nearly 16 years ago you helped me bring my son into the world and then performed my tubal ligation. I have been enjoying condomless, babyless, porn star sex thanks to the skill and kindness of you and your staff. Thank you!"


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

To me it has nothing to do with the physical "feel". It's all in the mental aspect. That we both want to feel each other's skin in the most intimate ways. Anything between us is going to be a problem. Lasting longer, sensation, orgasm? Those things have nothing to do with it.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

MJJEAN said:


> Eh, depends. I love my sex life with DH. He is the best sex of my life and I've had some great partners. However, if DH wears a condom it detracts from the experience by being a distraction, for lack of a better word. *My vaginal walls are sensitive. I can easily tell the difference in feel between skin and a sheath. To me, a condom makes a man feel like a piece of plastic, like a dildo, and it's just not as good. *
> 
> *Not to mention the taste and smell! So, not only are they distracting, unappealing in terms of sensation, but they are also limiting because my choices are do without random oral for one or both of us or to stop and wash the condom ick away.* Which derails the vibe, especially if the vibe was more primal.
> 
> ...


That was exactly my point. So now imagine if you two managed to make sex really great with a condom, then how much EVEN BETTER it would be without. Your post says to me that some of the most important parts about sex for you are the physical sensation of touch, and not worrying over the stress of getting pregnant (condoms are not a reliable form of birth control in most people's opinions). 

So now let us imagine a scenario. Hypothetically imagine either you or your husband suffer a minor car accident resulting in temporary nerve damage. There is a 75% loss of feeling from the waist down that is not restored until after aggressive physical therapy. According to your post that I quoted above, then this situation would be devastating to your sex life. 

Now, did you know that there are people out there in the world that have suffered from complete nerve loss from the waist down, but yet still manage to have an active sex life? The reason that is would because these couples learn to engage mentally with each other during sex, and the brain is the biggest sex organ that there is in the body. There are even many men and women without any injury that enjoy thinking themselves to an orgasm. 

While a bit morbid, this makes for an interesting read about studying the medical science of what happens to someone's sex life after a spinal injury: https://craighospital.org/resources/sexual-function-for-men-after-a-spinal-cord-injury

In short, desire and pleasure are all in the mind! So then theoretically if you are healthy and an expert on stimulating each other's mind with love and tenderness, a condom or no condom is irrelevant. In some situations playful attitudes with a condom can even enhance sex, but the "attitude" is once again all about stimulating the mind.

Sincerely,
Badsanta


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Holdingontoit said:


> @badsanta: I agree with you. For me, the experience was similar to what some ladies expressed. It helped me last longer, which was welcome. Well, welcome to me. Decent chance H2 was angry that she had to wait longer for it to be over. *She said she hated using them and that is why she was on the pill. I thought she meant it felt worse for her. But maybe she meant she hated them because I lasted longer and so her torture was prolonged.
> *
> As you say, it is all a matter of perspective.


*Thanks for sharing that! In hindsight you can now see that the condom itself was not the problem, but only served to amplify problems that were already there. *Had she been honest from the very beginning, odds are the two of you could have experimented with ideas that would enhance premature ejaculation in ways that you could get all your pleasure before actually engaging in PIV. Kind of like tantric cuddling in which she cultivates your sexual energy towards hugging her instead of engaging in PIV. Then when your need to "connect" with her becomes overwhelming, it can be extremely short (few seconds) which perhaps given her history would have actually been a form of therapy for the two of you. 

That is me thinking outside the box. Might even be a fun conversation for you and your wife to giggle about in the event things have gotten any better...

Badsanta


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

badsanta said:


> That was exactly my point. So now imagine if you two managed to make sex really great with a condom, then how much EVEN BETTER it would be without. Your post says to me that some of the most important parts about sex for you are the physical sensation of touch, and not worrying over the stress of getting pregnant (condoms are not a reliable form of birth control in most people's opinions).
> 
> So now let us imagine a scenario. Hypothetically imagine either you or your husband suffer a minor car accident resulting in temporary nerve damage. There is a 75% loss of feeling from the waist down that is not restored until after aggressive physical therapy. According to your post that I quoted above, then this situation would be devastating to your sex life.
> 
> ...


Of course, when we first started dating and having sex we used condoms. The sex was awesome, but not as much as it is without having to worry about being inspired to do something and then ending up with a mouth full of condom flavor and a nose full of condom scent.

I think anyone marrying would be a fool NOT to discuss what they will do if one of them is injured in an accident and unable to have standard sex. While I'd be willing to settle for whatever kind of sex we were able to have, it would still be settling and only because I truly do love DH and think being with him would be worth the sacrifice.

For me, the whole point of sex is physical sensation. Intense arousal and intense orgasm. That's it, the end. In the immortal words of 50 cent, "I'm into having sex, I ain't into making love".


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## MrBond (Nov 17, 2012)

Condoms in marriage eh.

Not a good thing?

Well - having a child cured me of my dislike of condoms.

But seriously - how else to prevent a pregnancy? Vaesectomy no thanks - the pill - no deal. And there's no much else that is reliable. It took me 8 months to get her pregnant and I'm 52 now - so perhaps I dont need to - but.

I actually like condoms. I do have a tight foreskin and can find it painful without - so condoms do help there. And it gives me quite a thrill to have my wife fumble in the dark trying to put it on. If I'm not too much turned on when we get into bed - I am raring to go and rock hard after the condom on game - are you sure it's on properly - can you check - oh I think it might be faulty - can you put another one on.

So no I dont find it a problem. They certainly give me that peace of mind that no pregnancy is going to result. The only thing I dont like is disposing of afterwards as it involves me getting out of bed. As for spontaneity killer - I usually keep 1 in my pocket so if we happen to be anywhere private and I fancy a quickie it can happen with minimal fuss and I also keep a couple under the mattress. If I wake up in the middle of the night with a strong urge I know something is handy. I do use non latex as she complained years ago of a burning feeling and non latex cleared it up.


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## MrBond (Nov 17, 2012)

badsanta said:


> That was exactly my point. So now imagine if you two managed to make sex really great with a condom, then how much EVEN BETTER it would be without. Your post says to me that some of the most important parts about sex for you are the physical sensation of touch, and not worrying over the stress of getting pregnant (*condoms are not a reliable form of birth control in most people's opinions*).
> 
> So now let us imagine a scenario. Hypothetically imagine either you or your husband suffer a minor car accident resulting in temporary nerve damage. There is a 75% loss of feeling from the waist down that is not restored until after aggressive physical therapy. According to your post that I quoted above, then this situation would be devastating to your sex life.
> 
> ...


Condoms not reliable? Where did you get than from? I understand that they are 97% reliable - and the 3% fail is no doubt incorrect use or breakage


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

MrBond said:


> Condoms not reliable? Where did you get than from? I understand that they are 97% reliable - and the 3% fail is no doubt incorrect use or breakage


 @MrBond in reality 82%. The 97% is for correct use, and that does not likely take into consideration condoms produced in for foreign markets like the Okamoto 001, 002, 003, & 004. Most condoms produced for the US market at 0.06mm thick. So when you consider that many folks like to use ones that are less than half of that, they will no longer be 97% effective for correct use. 

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/condom/how-effective-are-condoms



> *How effective are condoms against pregnancy?*
> If you use condoms perfectly every single time you have sex, they're 98% effective at preventing pregnancy. But people aren't perfect, so in real life condoms are about 82% effective — that means about 18 out of 100 people who use condoms as their only birth control method will get pregnant each year.
> The better you are about using condoms correctly every time you have sex, the better they'll work. But there's a small chance that you will get pregnant even if you always use them the right way.


I think your typical experience with condoms if the guy that always wants to "try" what it is like without one at least for a little while. Then the couple always gets in a pattern of starting without one thinking that they will just put in on later. Which perhaps goes OK for a while, but then things get risky if the girl is about to orgasm and the guy is reluctant to say, "ummm honey can we stop for a while so that I can get a condom."

So there you go!

Where did you get your information?

Badsanta


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## MrBond (Nov 17, 2012)

badsanta said:


> @MrBond in reality 82%. The 97% is for correct use, and that does not likely take into consideration condoms produced in for foreign markets like the Okamoto 001, 002, 003, & 004. Most condoms produced for the US market at 0.06mm thick. So when you consider that many folks like to use ones that are less than half of that, they will no longer be 97% effective for correct use.
> 
> https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/condom/how-effective-are-condoms
> 
> ...


I'm in the UK. Yes the figure here is 98% for correct use. What does that mean though? It means that out of 100 women who use the condom as only method of birth control 2 got pregnant in a year. I personally have evry confidence in the condom the way I use them - have avoided pregnancy for 14 years so am happy with that method.
The pill is marginally more effective but has the disadvantage of side effects and men have no control over this method.


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## MrBond (Nov 17, 2012)

badsanta said:


> @MrBond in reality 82%. The 97% is for correct use, and that does not likely take into consideration condoms produced in for foreign markets like the Okamoto 001, 002, 003, & 004. Most condoms produced for the US market at 0.06mm thick. So when you consider that many folks like to use ones that are less than half of that, they will no longer be 97% effective for correct use.
> 
> https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/condom/how-effective-are-condoms
> 
> ...


My main reason for posting was a response to the statement that condoms are not that reliable. Not true - they are very reliable.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

MrBond said:


> My main reason for posting was a response to the statement that condoms are not that reliable. Not true - they are very reliable.


Yes, for people that use them correctly and do not have any issues with doing so (e.g. loss of erection, inability to climax, very numbed sensation), then condoms are definitely the absolute thing for a woman's reproductive health! 

How many men out there are willing to do this long term? The only data on this topic would be the percentage of heterosexual couples in which the male condom is the primary means of contraception.










So for total number of users in those statistics above for a woman ages 15-44, apparently *she has slightly less that a one-in-ten probability of finding a partner that will be willing to use condoms.* Now regardless how reliable condoms themselves actually are, when you view this from the female's perspective, finding a male partner that is willing to use condoms is simply "not something she can feel reliable about."

I personally was in a situation for many years in which I did NOT want my wife using any hormonal birth control and I chose to use condoms. Even though I would say I had a very positive attitude towards using them to help my wife be as healthy as she could be, I simply was unable to tolerate them in the long term. My wife also was desperate to have me climax inside of her unimpeded, and SHE would be the one asking me to take it off at times that would have been rather risky. 

...so don't dismiss the fact that there are woman that simply do not like condoms either for whatever reason, which this fact also lends itself to my opinion that they are unreliable!

That is what it is...

Badsanta


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## MrBond (Nov 17, 2012)

badsanta said:


> Yes, for people that use them correctly and do not have any issues with doing so (e.g. loss of erection, inability to climax, very numbed sensation), then condoms are definitely the absolute thing for a woman's reproductive health!
> 
> How many men out there are willing to do this long term? The only data on this topic would be the percentage of heterosexual couples in which the male condom is the primary means of contraception.
> 
> ...


My wife would also prefer no condom - of course. But we both fear pregnancy! And I'm not prepared to risk long term testicular pain following a vaesectomy - nor am I prepared to have her screw up her body with the pill. So we seem to be left with condoms and I am prepared to use them long term. I must say when I fantasize I never wear condoms so it would be nice to have that option. I feel for me they are 100%. I used to start with one off and put on well before ejaculation. Until one day my wife said she feels like she is pregnant. And I couldnt sleep until her period started and vowed never to take a single risk ever again.
Well what more to say. As for the thickness of condoms I dont think it makes a difference worth risking - the barrier is still there, thank goodness.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

MrBond said:


> My wife would also prefer no condom - of course. But we both fear pregnancy!


There has got to be another way!

While this is no longer an issue for me, I used to spend a great deal of time being frustrated by the topic that there is no reliable form of male birth control other than the condom. OK, now there is a female condom that can perhaps offer a little variety, but for women that are uncomfortable helping you position things in their vaginas, this can be a huge turn off.

Upon my usual nefarious research on sexuality, I ran across this website where this guy had discovered the most bizarre way to masturbate. Essentially he discovered that an object the size of a small button could be lodged into his urethra when turned sideways. Then he would shift it around and easily push it back out as if the end of his penis were a coin slot. He became fascinated with this and researched that men have a small ligament inside the urethra just behind the glans. This allows for a more concentrated/focused "spray" during urination/ejaculation that most men are simply unaware that such a thing even exists. 

I've played around with penis plugs enough to sense what that guy was talking about, as there is a tight orifice inside the male urethra just behind the glans. If you have ever shopped for penis plugs you will notice a bulge designed to hold them in place and that many are hollow to allow for a "cum through" experience so that they do not have to be removed. 










Imagine if there were a silicone penis plug designed to insert like a coin into a slot, that could be manipulated to turn and ledge itself into position with some sort of tensioning mechanism. Then instead of a cum through hole, there could be disposable "reservoir tips" that could be attached to the thing. Not only would that probably be highly effective, but it would also be kinky as hell! 

Would be like sexual intercourse with a prince Albert piercing, but instead of for decoration and extra stimulation it would work as contraception!

Badsanta


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