# wife left me to go back to her parents.Please help



## stilllovingher (Aug 14, 2013)

I met this wonderful woman online, and we both were going through divorce. We talked 6 months and met a few times, and fell in love. We got married a year ago .My wife had been physically beaten by her ex, and she still has issues with that. I thought I could help her, so our journey started. She trusted in me, and left her parents, and her and her 16 year old daughter moved here.12 hours away from her parents .I have 3 small children, and she has a son,21 years old, and the 16 year old daughter that moved with us.We had all these plans to have nice things, etc. and start our life together .I sold my house, and she sold her belongings because we wanted things we got together. Her dad told me his heart dropped when we got married because his daughter is an emotional mess with no self confidence .He said I had my work cut out for me.He is an elder at a church, and told us to do right. well, one night I was working and she called crying .she told me her dad was coming to get her to take her home. she missed mom and dad, and her 20 year old son.They were already on the way and she never told me until they were 2 hours away.I was heart broken, but I was nice about it and told her to go visit and I would come get her.I did and it was fine for 2 months.then she goes back again.she is 41.in the past 2 years she has left me like that 9 times without telling me.she wasn't cheating, as her dad said after they got 2 hours down the road she wanted to come back.she would lay in bed all day and cry.This last time she left, she said she owed her dad 6,000 for paying for her divorce and felt she needed to go back there and get a job to pay them.I admit, I told her if she would come back,i would cash in 25 years of retirement and buy her car and pay her dad.she came back and was fine for 3 months,then she said all I cared about was my little kids and I didn't treat her like a wife.her daughter would go to friends and she never asked me about it, and I didn't get offended at all by it.I felt like if it was ok with her it's ok with me.then my kids want friends over and I told my daughter ok, and my wife gets mad.i know I should check with her, but I didn't, and I told her I didn;tget mad when she didn't ask me.any way we haven't gotten the money to pay her dad yet, so he comes again and picks her up.I said angry things to him because he told me he would never come again but he did.i told her stay there till I come with the money, and she says she will do it on her own.she ;s getting sued for 140k and has no job or car and is living with her parents.she says she will not divorce me.said she loves me more than anything, but for it to work I need to move there 12 house away.I would love to but I have 3 small kids.I can not leave them.she says well you have your kids then.either move here or it won't work.I even told her I would buy her car now and give it to her to come live here.Am I wrong?she is my life, but I can not walk out on my children they are 6,8,13,with an unstable mom.I need advice...I'm going crazy.I keep thinking its about money, but then what really bothers me is why would a wife want me to leave my kids behind.mine are dependant on me. hers are grown.I;m hurt and need advice


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## stilllovingher (Aug 14, 2013)

someone please give me advice


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Stop trying to buy her with money, why is she getting sued for 140k? Are you liable for that law suit as her husband? Is she asking you to leave your kids for her?

A 40 year old woman as you discribe sounds very unstable. As she ever had mental help?"
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ThreeStrikes (Aug 11, 2012)

You replaced one unstable wife with another. 

Sorry, but you cannot rescue her or fix her.

It's not possible to have a functional relationship with a dysfunctional person.

Give her a divorce, work on you, focus on your kids.

Get at the root of your tendency to be attracted to "projects".


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## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

Im sorry, but do what ever you can to distance yourself from your "wife" and her family.


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## BFGuru (Jan 28, 2013)

Sounds like daddy is a controlling manipulator as well. I wouldn't be surprised if the abuse went back to her childhood. It's no wonder she got involved with an abuser. Cut your losses. When she is ready to stand on her own two feet she will break ties with her dad. Until then you are fighting a losing battle.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

You married the same woman twice.

Didn't you learn anything the first time?


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## Chopsy (Oct 10, 2012)

Good question- why would she want you to leave your young, dependent children? Because she is off her head maybe. Ok there may be a more psychological term for it, but let her go. She needs to grow up, she is behaving like a five year old, wants all your attentions and mummy and daddy's too. What's with the money? £140k? Is that for real? Or has she made it up? She is incredibly unstable and will suck you down to her level if you let her. Please find a therapist and find out whey you are attracted to mentally unstable, codependent people. You can't save her, you can't even help her. She has to do that for herself. Just help yourself now so you never end up in this situation again.


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## stilllovingher (Aug 14, 2013)

she had an automobile accident and her ex husband had dropped the insurance on her car prior to the accident.so now insurance co.is suing her


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