# Son asked a girl on a "date"



## Crypsys (Apr 22, 2010)

Okay, so here comes what may sound like a stupid question. When is it too early to start talking more in depth about sex, reproduction, etc with a child? My eldest son who is 8 years old asked one of his classmates to go on a date. We had a discussion with him that dating is only for older people, he is too young, etc. He told us he asked her on a date because he wanted to go play with her. Obviously he knows what the term date means, but not what it implies! We've avoided giving him too much information about how everything works. We have done it because we were afraid of giving him too much information too soon (does that make any sense)?

He's been around farm animals and we watch a lot of nature documentaries, etc. He knows how babies are carried, he roughly knows how they are born and he knows what makes babies eggs, sperm, etc. What he doesn't fully grasp is the concept of how they are made, process, etc. 

So for those of yall with older kids, when did you first start explaining more of the details? How deep did you get? We do not want to hold back knowledge from him; but nor do we want to explain something to him he's not emotionally ready to hear!


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## Mrs. Segedy (Apr 17, 2010)

I can't say I have kids, but I have nieces and nephews I consider my own, as well as recollection of how my parents brought it up to me. I'm 20 years old. I knew about sex way before I should have, due to my biological mother (i'm adopted). She would talk about it with her boy toys, and I'd catch her watching porn at a very young age. (I'd say around 5 or 6.) My parents simply gave me the talk when I asked what a condom was after seeing a Trojan commercial. I had to be about 8 or 9, around your son's age. I'd bring it up soon, but don't go into detail just yet. I remember my head spinning and I didn't know what my parents were saying to me. But let him know, that when two people love each other, they sometimes want to show it, but it's for adults. In this world, your child would find out somehow outside of home, so make sure you're the one to teach him. Not someone else! I hope that helped a little! Good luck. And remember, don't be afraid to give him the talk if you feel he's ready. Or at least start on it!


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

I guess I started talking to my kids about "how babies are made" at about 8-9 years old in VERY sterile terms. I recall that my own parents bought me a book when I was 8 years old. 

But not all kids are the same. My daughter was very receptive and curious and had no problem discussing it with me and asked a lot of questions but until she was a bit older (around 11, maybe 12) she didn't actually know the mechanics of what went where during intercourse..that all came later. You really have to use your own judgement on this. 

Nowadays my daughter and I have a VERY open relationship about sex to this day (she is 15). My son wanted "just the facts" and won't discuss it with me to this day (he's 12). ! He does feel more comfortable talking with my husband but even with him he's not one for chatting casually about it. You have to figure out where your son lies. One thing is for sure, you need to follow his lead and not push anything on him. 

Right now it sounds like your son wants to have a friend over and is using the term "dating" in regards to a play date. Sounds harmless enough. I think you handled it well by saying that older people date and that having a friend over isn't quite the same thing. Sounds like he's in a good spot with regards to sexual education. He knows about the concept but the details can wait until later. I do feel that it's hard for younger kids to actually understand it on an anatomical level.


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