# Time for "the talk" again



## ku1980rose (Sep 7, 2010)

Haven't posted for a while. Just been lurking about. I haven't posted since I got my DUI and thought I'd lose my job. Right before the DUI I had finally had the talk with my husband and was working on moving out. The DUI forced us to have to work together because of the loss of my income.

Because of the DUI, I quit my job. They were going to suspend me with pay until it went through court and then if I was found guilty I'd be let go. I'm pretty sure I will be found guilty, so I quit my job.

My husband and I decided that maybe this was good for us. It would force us to work together. Plus, it would give him the opportunity to get a new job where he makes more money and works more in the winter and hopefully feels better about yourself. He is still looking for a new job and I've been doing some work online and helping my mom with my grandpa.

Before the DUI, I was a day away from signing a contract on a house so I could move into town. I had to let that go for obvious reason. Now, I wish I would've moved out. Nothing has changed. My husband can talk the talk, but nothing ever changes.

We've been married a little over 2 years now (end of July). And, in October, we won't have had sex for 2 years. I can't do this anymore. I talked to my parents again while I was home helping with my gpa. I may move there over the winter and work online and save money. The future looks difficult, but it feels so much better when I am not here with him.

I just got home and we are already fighting. I know that's probably my fault because I have no desire to be here. And, I've got to have "the talk" with him again. I know how it went last time, so not looking forward to it. He will get angry, blame himself, then blame me, then cry, then storm out of the house, then probably ignore me for 2 days, then pretend like everything's ok. That's how he deals with everything.

My mom and I talked a lot about him today. And about our marriage. Is it not a happy marriage. He is not happy either, but would never admit it. He has no self confidence and is afraid to be alone again. He wants to be married. He can't see past his emotions to realize that what we have is not a marriage. 

So, just trying to figure out when/how to start the talk for the second time. I don't expect it to end well. It never does when I bring up anything that makes him uncomfortable. He is pretty good at sweeping things under the rug. Outta sight, outta mind. And if he doesn't want to talk about something, he's good at getting angry so I never want to bring it up again. Our counselor brought that up to him to him and he agreed that's probably what he does.


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## 06Daddio08 (Jul 26, 2012)

Hey Rose. I remember when you were talking about how things were kind of turning around for you before.

Sorry to hear it didn't work out.


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## ku1980rose (Sep 7, 2010)

UpnOver said:


> Hey Rose. I remember when you were talking about how things were kind of turning around for you before.
> 
> Sorry to hear it didn't work out.


Well, I had high hopes that the things that happened would force us to have to work together. But, sometimes there are just things you can't get through.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

ku1980rose said:


> Well, I had high hopes that the things that happened would force us to have to work together. But, sometimes there are just things you can't get through.


I don't know why you would have expected it to be any different this last time around. The people involved haven't changed, the situation hasn't changed, and so on...

My thoughts. Get everything set up. Then tell him that it's still not working out; don't get in a discussion about it, just state the facts. And move out that day. Get it over with and behind you.

C


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## ku1980rose (Sep 7, 2010)

He got home early today from work and I sat him down to talk. That lasted about 2 seconds before he blew up and demanded I leave and then left himself. So, I'm working on getting packed up and getting my things in order. Will probably head to my parents this weekend and go from there. He's gone right now, probably at his dad's house, so I've got time to breathe.


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