# What did I do wrong?



## mymymy (Aug 10, 2012)

My wife of 1 year wants a divorce because her sister and some friends said I tried to date them BEFORE I starting dating my wife. My wife and I lived together for 5 years before getting married. She has fought with me and accused me of cheating on and off throughout our 6 years together, even going as far to say I had sex with her family members. I have told her each time that I honestly never did any of this and that I would not keep anything from her. When we first got together, I told her my past in great detail including all of my sexual encounters. Sometimes she apologizes and says she believes me while other times she calls me a liar and I'm left to sleep on the couch for a couple days. We went to counseling and things seemed to get better, but the accusing always has a way of creeping back in.
What am I to do?
My rational tells me that even if I did do anything, it was BEFORE we got together and has nothing to do with us now. I truly believe that honestly is the only way to make a relationship work and that you cannot build a foundation on lies. I would never do anything to hurt her. She has been my whole world the past 6 years. I work all day and happily come home to her. I do everything I possibly can to show her I love her. For example, every morning I tell her I love her and kiss her and look into her eyes. We take trips all over the place and talk about kids and growing old together. I just want to say that I have NEVER cheated or even thought about doing so. I am 110% in love with her.
Am I crazy? Is there something I'm doing wrong and just can't see it?


----------



## tfroste (Aug 10, 2012)

Sounds like your wife has all the power in the relationship. She has subconsciously worded her accusations to reduce you to a state of constant repentance or, at the very least, confusion. You have all the power in the relationship as that of a jellyfish stranded on the beach during low tide. 

Your wife has the problem, stop graveling to her it only strengthens the grip she has on your balls


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I agree with tfroste... your wife is using this as a way to have control over you.

You need to make a strong effort to put an end to this nonsense. YOu have to assert yourself and let her know that you will divorce her if she does not stop with the false accussations. Take a look at this website. It will help you learn how to be assertive.

No More Mr. Nice Guy

Give the marriage 3-6 months. If she does not stop this emotional abuse then you really do need to leave her. Do not have any children with her until she has stopped this kind of behavior for at least a couple of years.


----------



## TBT (Dec 20, 2011)

Can't see why she would be doing this,unless she has some real issues.Abandonment? Maybe she needs to seek counseling,if she isn't already.


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Maybe she is just projecting....you know, if I'm cheating he must be also.
Hell it might be her way to justify having a boyfriend.

Are there any red flags? Does she start this crap right before a GNO? Do these convos happen when she comes home in the middle of the night from a GNO?


----------

