# Highly Sensitive



## PaintLife (Feb 11, 2012)

I think I am highly sensitive. I don't want to be, it is just part of my nature. I have been since I was a little girl. I think my biggest sensitivity is how someone talks to me. I always try to be very nice in the way I speak to someone. My biggest problem that I have dealt with in my marriage is understanding what my husband is saying/thinking when he says something to me. Our communications styles are so different and have been formed from our differing families. I have had a hard time not feeling criticized in something just because of how he says what he says. (Although every time he tells me he is not being critical, it is just how he talks). My sensitivity comes from fear of someone being critical of me (since I seem to think it is rude if not said nicely) and my dislike of someone being so headstrong in their way of thinking that they don't try to accept that I see things differently. Although my husband does take the way I see the world seriously, he also can be a little headstrong. My husband is never mean or abusive, it is just that his style of communicating has kind of rubbed me the wrong way making me get defensive and anxious about whether or not he is being critical. It has taken me a long time to realize that I am taking things too personally sometimes and that I need to relax over some communication issues and look at them from a more positive aspect, such as: "My husband is not being critical when he tells me the answer to my question is something obvious, he is saying that the answer is obvious and I need to have more confidence in my self that I know the right answer and don't always need to ask him." He really is a good guy, I am just highly sensitive. 

Is anyone else here sensitive?


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## mrshighlyfavored (Mar 4, 2012)

Yes, you are definitely not the only one that is overly sensitive. I cry for everything. If i'm sad...happy, if you're sad...happy. I have the same conversations with my husband about the way that he responds to things. We have two boys and I was so glad that they are boys because I wouldn't know what to do with a girl and the chance that she would be as sensitive than me. My husband is Mr. Wonderful...lol He said to me once that sometimes he doesn't want to say things to me because of how sensitive I am. I don't want this to be a communication barrier so sometimes I just don't say anything. You do expect that when you are nice and caring towards people the they will be the same to you but that is not always the case. It seems that I am always caring the most when everyone else is not. Like I give 100 percent and everyone else gives 50. With all of that being said......yes there are more sensitive people out there....lol


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

It does sound like you are a little oversensative about how someone talks to you. 
j


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Yes and therapy has been very helpful in teaching me to let things go instead of taking everything so literally. This wasn't a quick fix but I can honestly say I'm a whole lot less sensitive now than I used to be.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

It is good you recognize these things ....and realize the magitude it can play in your marraige. It can hamper communication greatly if your husband starts feeling he can't talk to you, that everything that proceeds from his mouth will be taken negatively, that he has to walk on "egg shells". You do not want this. 

Have you ever done a "Temperment" study on yourself ?... 

Please take the time --I would guess you are a *melancholy*... if you learn what your strenghts & weaknesses are --and your husbands...if may help to understand each other better.

2 types of tests ...

Or just click on these - Post your results on here -if you take the time to do this.....


Sanguine" - "Choleric" - "Melancholy" - "Phlegmatic" Test...


Free Personality Tests

And the 16 Temperment /Personality Types... getting more specific & deeper into what motivates us , moves us & how we view our world & treat others around us . 

The Gray-Wheelwright-Winer 4-letter Type Indicator Test

I personally put alot of stock in these things, they helped me understand myself when I was younger, and some of my own struggles, I had more of an issue being "too brash" with those I was close too, I even intimidated them.... the type you would be offended by. One of my weaknesses as a "Choleric" but luckily melancholy is my Secondary temperment so it evens me out a bit, I greatly understand the sensitive side of the coin also.... I cry at Hallmark commercials and get choked up pretty easily . Anytime we are vulnerable with another, we open ourselves up to being hurt too. 

So much sensitivity we WANT, it gives us empathy, but to realize many times people speak out of thier own hurts, frustrations and to understand many times it has nothing to do with us... how utterly important this is.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

The Fine Art of Not being Offended.... I found this on the net once, I really liked it ....



> “There is an ancient and well-kept secret to happiness which the Great Ones have known for centuries. They rarely talk about it, but they use it all the time, and it is fundamental to good mental health. This secret is called The Fine Art of Not Being Offended. In order to truly be a master of this art, one must be able to see that every statement, action and reaction of another human being is the sum result of their total life experience to date. In other words, the majority of people in our world say and do what they do from their own set of fears, conclusions, defenses and attempts to survive. Most of it, even when aimed directly at us, has nothing to do with us. Usually, it has more to do with all the other times, and in particular the first few times, that this person experienced a similar situation, usually when they were young.
> 
> Yes, this is psychodynamic. But let’s face it, we live in a world where psychodynamics are what make the world go around. An individual who wishes to live successfully in the world as a spiritual person really needs to understand that psychology is as spiritual as prayer. In fact, the word psychology literally means the study of the soul.
> 
> ...


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

I am a sensitive woman. However, I do have a certain strength and toughness about me too.

I do not suffer fools lightly. If someone is being disrespectful or rude I will put that person in their place. I stand up to people and sometimes they do not like it. 

On another forum, one female member posted that she often cries at work. This member also said that she wept when other forum members were mean. I politely told that woman that she needs to be much stronger. Crying because of strangers on the internet is childish. 

If my husband is not speaking to me nicely, I will calmly ask him to check his tone. I only accept a nasty tone if I have been rude to him. I do not expect constant baby talk because that is not realistic.

Though I am honest, I try to share my opinion in a way that respects the other person's feelings.

Crying is something that I only do in private or around people I feel comfortable with. It is often interpreted as a sign of weakness, so I don't let others see me doing that. 

There are gifts in being sensitive. You are likely more compassionate and loving than most people. There is nothing weak or less adult about being sensitive. It is all in how you handle yourself.


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