# Take a seat, this is about to get heavy. Wife cheated.



## Sunrise1 (Jan 29, 2013)

Looking for some much needed guidance and advice…

My wife and I have been married for almost 2.5 years now. We started out as friends in college and after about a year began dating. We dated for about 4 years before we got married. About a year before we graduated college we began to really talk about how serious we were. My wife had been in some serious relationships in the past, but this was really my first truly serious one. She was worried that I didn’t know exactly what I wanted and thought it would be a good idea for us to take some time for me to kind a date around before we got even more serious (wedding talks). I reluctantly agreed, understanding there was some usefulness in doing this. We took a break for about 1.5 months, which consisted of me giving a pretty half-assed attempt at flirting with a girl I knew at the time. My wife and I still spoke regularly and I just couldn’t bear the thought of dating anyone else-I was just too in love with her. So, we ended up getting back together and were happy as can be. 

A couple of months pass by and we get to talking about stuff and somehow the fact comes out that during our break apart from each other, which was supposedly in place for me to see if anyone else was out there or if I knew she was the one for me, it comes to light that she kissed somebody else. Now, it doesn’t just stop there. What basically happened is that during our break, she decided to take a trip to visit her friend that lived near a school that we had both transferred from about a year earlier. She had a professor that she was particularly fond of and decided to visit him in his office while she was in town. According to her words (which I believe), he came on to her and kissed her right there in his office. After she told me this I was pretty pissed off- I mean, it just sounded kind of messed up. I guess they had started talking with each other on the phone after that incident in his office. A couple of weeks later she told me that she was going down to the same town where her friend lived to house sit for someone. I guess she began to feel guilty because right before she left she confessed that she actually had lied and was planning on going down to meet up with him for the week (draw your own conclusions). Now, I got really mad and wanted to know what the F*** she was thinking. She sobbed profusely and was genuinely upset and remorseful, saying that she decided not to do it and that she was so sorry she had lied about it. I told her I wanted all of the details on the table and she answered all of the questions. Nothing happened between them besides that kiss and phone conversations.

So, after going through this melodrama, I decided to just push past it. I was really glad she decided to tell me and not actually go through with anything. If she had, that would have been devastating to me. 

Fast forward a bit and we have been married for 2.5 years. We have a really fantastic relationship. Now, I know everyone says that but we really did. We knew each other better than anyone else on this earth. We traveled abroad together, read together, cuddled, spent plenty of time with each others families. We had some intimacy issues in our marriage due to things that I had been through in the past but she was so great about understanding it. We had both had some pretty heavy stuff happen to us before but that’s one of the things that made our relationship so great – complete disclosure and support from one another. She was someone who had been depressed since I had known her but I knew that I made her happy and she knew she made me happy. After a couple of years of marriage, she still had the same complaints about feeling down some times and that she hated her job, etc. I was there for her every time to lift her up and do whatever was humanly possible to put a smile on her face and tell her it would be ok.

Things were really falling into place for us. I got promoted and we moved out of state. Both of us love kids and really dreamed of having a big family. We decided to start to try for a baby. After a couple of months, we were ecstatic to find out she was pregnant. We were going to be parents!! It was all so blissful.

Reaching the end of the first trimester, we decided to go in and have our first check-up and hear the baby’s heartbeat. I made sure to take my camera with me even though I looked like a goof-she wasn’t even showing yet. I didn’t care because I was going to be a Dad. We went in to see the nurse and she had trouble getting a heartbeat on the baby with the instrument she was using. She decided to send us over to get a sonogram. We switched rooms and my wife laid back on the table, prepared to get the first look at our baby. We then got some devastating news. There was no blood flowing to the baby and we had actually lost it some weeks before. Devastated. That is the only word I can describe how we felt. 

My wife and decided, with the suggestion of the nurse, that it would be best to do an evacuation of the fetus at the hospital. Needless to say, this was a very tough time. My wife was getting the procedure and I was the one calling around to tell our family and friends the sad news. This one just wasn’t meant to be – that was what we kept telling ourselves. We would just try again in a couple of months.

A few days pass and my wife and I are headed to the store. We reach the parking lot and she begins to talk about how down she was. I tell her that we can move beyond this and that she has to start being more positive about herself and thankful for all the goods things we have. I am very sensitive to the fact that she just lost our baby days before, but I also say that tomorrow is a new day and we really need to move on. After talking for about 30 minutes we finally decided to walk inside the store, hand in hand and ready to take on the world together.

This is where shi* really starts to get crazy. 

The next day I am at work and she is at home (she had worked for a company from our home town for a couple of years before we moved and then they let her continue her job out of state using a home office). She texted me, saying that I needed to come home and that she needed me. This didn’t particularly concern me because she had been feeling down, off and on since I could remember.

When I get home, she is in complete tears and just embraces me. I hug her back and try to console her and ask her what is wrong. She tells me that she had not been working at all that day; she had just been trying to put together a letter that she had typed for me. She urged me to read it as she wept uncontrollably.

I begin to read the letter. She tells me that she had had an affair with her boss for 1.5 years…. WHAT?

It began a couple of months before we were married (we were engaged) on a business trip. Her boss was drunk and he kissed her. She was shocked and pushed him away. In subsequent business trips he continued to pursue her, to which she told him that she was going to marry me and that she loved me. I guess he eventually won out because over the course of the 1.5-year affair, they had sex at least 15 times. Not only this, they said they loved each other. She told me that she didn’t mean it and it was like she was not there when she said it to him. 

After 1.5 years she realized just how wrong what she was doing was. She began to see a counselor on her own (at the time I just thought it was because she was depressed). She was then able to end the relationship with him on her own which she said was easy once the help she had gotten from her therapist sank in and she realized what she was doing. The affair ended January 2012 and I found out about this whole thing January 2013. I was/am furious and hurt to say the least. So many mixed emotions…

I immediately told her to pack her shi* up and go to her parents house, about 4 hours away. She has been gone now for close to a month. It has been really hard for me. It really is like a rollercoaster. I go from angry to sad to hopeful to ready to move on with my life without her.


There were just so many gritty details that came up in my later conversations with her. I found out they didn’t use protection (outside of her birth control). Her boss is married with 2 kids. Before we moved, while she was at her work, she would take “lunch” breaks where her and her boss would check in to a hotel… These are just some of the horrible things that have come to light. 

BTW, I called her boss to let him know what I thought about him AND called his wife to give her a heads up.

To her credit, it was her sole decision to confess these things to me. She tells me she will answer any and all questions I have truthfully, which she has. She has completely fallen apart and is torn with grief over what she did. She cut off all ties with her boss, quitting the job. She continues to call and text me telling how sorry she is and that she still wasn’t healed from the things she went through in her past but that now, after counseling, she was a new person and had finally confronted all of her problems with great success, taking control of her life.

I don’t doubt her transformation in all of this. I know she is truly, deeply sorry and I really know that she has a tremendous amount of love for me.


This has just been so fu**ed up. I feel like I just don’t want anything to do with her. My parents and I packed all of her stuff up and put it in the garage until her parents come and get it. I would like to move on with my life and find somebody who would never do that to me.

My wife tells me that this was a horrible thing to have done to us and our families and that with time we can get through it. She says she is willing to do anything I want in order to show me she is sorry and prove that she can be this new person. She wants us to go to marriage counseling or, if I prefer, speak with someone on my own to help me get through this. It has just been so tough because my gut tells me to get out of this marriage as soon as I can, but I also feel a pang of guilt like I haven’t done everything I could to make this work.

BUT HOW DO YOU MAKE THIS WORK?!?! It just blows my mind…all of it does. I mean I had NO idea, not even a sneaking suspicion. It was a complete blind side. 

To make matters even more confusing, after we had moved from our home state and the relationship she was having ended, she started looking for other work. She got an offer from the same company (same boss, aka the owner) to be able to work from home. She accepted the job, knowing that 4 times out of the year it would require her to go on work trips where this person would definitely be present and put herself in the same situation as when the whole relationship began. WHAT KIND OF A PERSON THINKS/DOES THESE THINGS??!?! She said that she did it because she knew she had ended the relationship and that, to get some sort of payback, she would be taking money from this person in the form of a paycheck. That sounds so fuc*ing loony to me it’s not even funny.

So, here I am in the middle of this shi* storm with no umbrella. Everyone I talk to says GTFO and move on and I agree. But, I also have the thoughts of how great* our relationship was, how amazing our families got along, our aligned goals for the future and love for each other. I also have her texts/calls about how utterly sorry she was that she was capable of doing that to me and how she so wishes she could take it back. It’s the most dramatic situation that I couldn’t even dream up.

At this point, she wants me to give it more time before I decide to get a divorce. She tells me that she will be dead inside if I end it, saying “how could you throw it all away-think of our memories, you know who the true me was, how I loved you, it was all real, we can still be happy together forever, I’m willing to show and prove it to you…”

I told her this: If you put a gun to a mans head and pull the trigger, you kill that man. He is dead right there on the ground. You can be as sorry and remorseful as you want but that man is still there, dead. You have to pay for what you did. 

And that is how I feel-like my hands are tied behind my back. I tell her I wish she would of just told me when he tried to kiss her or after the first time she was unfaithful…but for 1.5years!!??!?

Another small fact: there was a girl she worked with in the same office before we moved. The same boss came on to this girl at an event out of town. She told her husband and after they both physically went to her work and talked with her boss, she left the company. She is still married to her husband and works at a different company now. Why couldn’t that have been our scenario??

My wife’s mind was weak and she was vulnerable to this scumbags advances. I am just broken over this whole mess.

Just as a clarifying point, I brought up the relationship she had in the past with her former professor as an example of the grace I had given her in the past – something that she is asking for now. That was a hurtful decision that she made and which she said she would never do again. 

Any and all input is appreciated.


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## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)

Well I have to say it sounds like you've done everything right from the start. Laid out immediate consequences, exposure, holding firm, etc. 



> She told me that she didn’t mean it and it was like she was not there when she said it to him.


She was though and it came out of her mouth.



> To make matters even more confusing, after we had moved from our home state and the relationship she was having ended, she started looking for other work. She got an offer from the same company (same boss, aka the owner) to be able to work from home. She accepted the job, knowing that 4 times out of the year it would require her to go on work trips where this person would definitely be present and put herself in the same situation as when the whole relationship began. WHAT KIND OF A PERSON THINKS/DOES THESE THINGS??!?! She said that she did it because she knew she had ended the relationship and that, to get some sort of payback, she would be taking money from this person in the form of a paycheck. That sounds so fuc*ing loony to me it’s not even funny.


That is a problem. She should not be working at ANY job that puts her in ANY contact with that man if you do decide to work on the marriage. I don't know if she's not using common sense as to how that looks or if she's looking for an excuse to see him again. 



> Everyone I talk to says GTFO and move on and I agree. But, I also have the thoughts of how great* our relationship was, how amazing our families got along, our aligned goals for the future and love for each other.


I'm not saying leave but she was ****ing some other guy during your marriage and part of your engagement. A lot of what you thought was so great was built on a house of lies and deceit.



> My wife’s mind was weak and she was vulnerable to this scumbags advances. I am just broken over this whole mess.


I will advise you to not make excuses for her. She knew what she was doing for a year and a half. She could have prevented it or quit at any time and it took her 1.5 years to do so. Which I will admit is a lot better than the ones who keep going until they're caught or found out years down the road. Very few come out and confess unprovoked. And even then tell the whole truth about whatever is asked. THAT is rare.


I will say she does seem remorseful and if you do want to reconcile, give it a shot. I wouldn't let her move back in with you though. In fact if she's dead serious about getting back with you, you might just want to divorce her and try taking things back to a basic level. If she wants to work it out as much as you claim she should be fine with that.

But regardless of whether you stay or go, the marriage you thought you had is dead.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

She goes after some guy while you're engaged and then has a 1.5 year betrayal!?!

1.5 years!

78 weeks!

About 550 days.

And now she tells you? I mean, nothing says "I love you" like screwing her boss for 78 weeks. And during that time all she had to do was say "no". But didn't. 

I hate to say this but despite all her tears, you've been played. She was living a complete double life on you. And it gets even better. There's about a 100-110% chance you either still don't know all of it and there will be future lovers as well. 

Now, I'm going to guess she may suffer from depression. But that is no excuse. 

Truly, you deserve better. And you deserve some happiness.


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## daggeredheart (Feb 21, 2012)

The cheating prior to you getting married and then the affair basically the whole time you were married speaks to huge personal issues within her. She is looking at years of therapy and you should be looking at her in your rear view mirror. 

You are right to send her packing.


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

OK, the boss is a philandering predator and if it's a public company, you should report him - it's harrassment and he should be fired.

BUT.... that doesn't excuse your wife's behaviour. If I follow the chronology - she has been cheating on an off throughout your relationship. When you took a break - she was unfaithful. When you got engaged, she was unfaithful and continued to be unfaithful through your "honeymoon" phase. I wonder why she even married?

She needs to fix herself because she is broken. She needs to fix herself on her own. She needs serious help.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

Ummm, she's supposedly remorseful and goes BACK to work for the guy she screwed you over with??

Honestly dude, just run like hell. This has no future whatsoever. There is nothing holding you back, and you have a full life to live. There are way too many integrity driven woman out there to be with and just waiting for someone like you. 

I'm a marital recovery minded individual, but you really have established nothing to recover.

Move on. You're better than this.

Sorry you're here. Feel bad for you.


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## Malcolm38 (Dec 25, 2012)

So she is working for the guy again? And that is a good idea how? 

That alone says that she isn't "getting it". 

Sorry you are going through this.


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## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)

I"m also wondering:



> She continues to call and text me telling how sorry she is and *that she still wasn’t healed from the things she went through in her past but that now, after counseling, she was a new person and had finally confronted all of her problems with great success*, taking control of her life.



What did she mean by that.


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## Jonesey (Jul 11, 2011)

Stoped it her self.And takes up a job with the same guy after all
IC.Claim´s she is a better person..Come on..Walk from this one. I mean takes up work with the same gay.Where it takes her to meet him 4 times a year..And nothing happened..Really?

Have you talked to the OM´s wife..I sense there is a reason she confessed..


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## MovingAhead (Dec 27, 2012)

Sunrise1 said:


> I told her this: If you put a gun to a mans head and pull the trigger, you kill that man. He is dead right there on the ground. You can be as sorry and remorseful as you want but that man is still there, dead. You have to pay for what you did.
> .


First, She DOES NOT have to pay for what she did. It is NOT up to you to punish her. That is immature and irresponsible. It is how children act.

You have to make a decision if you want to work things out with her or not. If you don't, file for D and move on. If you do then you have to work at reconciling. Reconciling does not mean punishing the person you love. If you cannot forgive her, don't even bother with reconciling. You will just be trying to manipulate her and punish her for the rest of your lives at to what end?

If she was weak, maybe you can understand or maybe you can't but someone who was weak doesn't need to be punished. She told everything to you which is more than most people get. She deserves some credit for that. It shows she can be remorseful and strong. That took a lot of guts.

Second. You don't give GRACE. That is not up to you. You are not in position to give her grace. You can forgive her, but you are not so high and mighty that by your grace she is allowed to be married to you. That is really haughty and arrogant.

She is a person that you love or loved. She has done some really bad things. She broke your trust, violated your marriage vows etc... You need to decide what YOU want to do with your life.

Punishing your WS is not what you should be doing. Deciding if you want R or D is. Life is not about punishing people who hurt you. That is a child's thought. It is about living the best life you can.

Sit down and write out what you want to do with your life. Think hard of you want her in your life and then decide. From there focus on being a better you and go live this life like every day is your last. Being bitter and destructive to someone you love is NOT the answer.


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## Aunt Ava (Jan 24, 2013)

I think you handled this in the best possible way. Why would you even for a minute consider reconciling? She lied to you everyday for a year and a half. I don't think you can have a good relationship without trust, and you could never trust her out of your sight. You didn't even have an inkling that she was cheating, it's not worth it to spend the rest of your life policing her. 

She is broken, and you can't fix her. Reconciling=a lifetime of pain.


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## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

I was or still am married for 14 years.. My wife ***ed me 3 to 4 times a week. I have 2 boys soon to be 13 and 8..

She tried to have an affair with some stranger from the internet. I caught her.. She emailed her old junkie boyfriend who is now a drug counselor in florida, looking to hook up. She is rewriting history now and denies it, but when we went to counseling she admitted she was trolling. 

My wife is now leaving me for a guy 10 years older that has NOTHING. My wife makes more money per hour then he does, thanks to me putting her through college.

My simple point. Do you want to be me ?? 

GTFO.. You have more breaks in trust then I do in less time..

She is broken.. She has some issues that need to be fixed. Do you want to try and hope that therapy and counseling will fix them ?

I know my wife is broken and there is NOTHING I can do about it. I love her, but there is NOTHING I can do about it..

GTFO.. Let her fix herself if she wants and maybe a year from now or maybe two she *MIGHT *be okay to remarry.

AT a minimum get post nup that outlines what she gets if you every get divorced. Of course it will be skewed in your favor. This way 5 years from now when you have a child and she wants to rake you over the coals because she is in love with her new boyfriend. At least she walks away and your not in the poor house.

BTW my second son took 3 years to conceive. 3 miscarriages and one D&C. Mind you I understand my wife went through them.

Nutshell GTFO and find someone that really loves YOU 100% or PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE at a minimum do something to protect your financial future. At least have some silver lining when it all falls apart again.


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## helolover (Aug 24, 2012)

I understand the vacillation between wanting to end it immediately and then feeling there is a chance. From what you've posted, I think your marriage is over. A year and a half affair behind your back? How is that ever going to sit well with you? That's a lot of lying - for a long time. My advice to you is read the stuff over at chumplady.com. It's realistic and amusing. I gained a lot of perspective over there. 

Good luck, dude. You're not alone.


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## Sunrise1 (Jan 29, 2013)

Jasel said:


> I"m also wondering:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I think she meant that after going through her counseling, she was able to work through mistakes she had made in the past as well as confront this current mistake and see the flaw in her decision making process.


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## Sunrise1 (Jan 29, 2013)

MovingAhead said:


> First, She DOES NOT have to pay for what she did. It is NOT up to you to punish her. That is immature and irresponsible. It is how children act.
> 
> You have to make a decision if you want to work things out with her or not. If you don't, file for D and move on. If you do then you have to work at reconciling. Reconciling does not mean punishing the person you love. If you cannot forgive her, don't even bother with reconciling. You will just be trying to manipulate her and punish her for the rest of your lives at to what end?
> 
> ...


I understand your concern. The word "grace" was actually one that she used to describe me forgiving her. Believe me, I'm not that kind of guy. I would not want to cause her any pain whatsoever, just going through some of the ups and downs of finding something like this out.


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## Jonesey (Jul 11, 2011)

What future plan,step´s to take has she offered up?


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

Sunrise1 said:


> I think she meant that after going through her counseling, she was able to work through mistakes she had made in the past as well as confront this current mistake and see the flaw in her decision making process.


It would be too simplistic to think that all of a sudden she realized that she has a flaw in her decision making process. It's more than a decision making process. It's about breaking vows and lying.

If it was that simple to cure, there would be no broken marriages due to infidelity.


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

She has a propensity to cheat---with her prof., and with her boss---what more do you need

You never knew---you only found out cuz she "outed" herself---so you know she KNOWS HOW TO CHEAT AND GET AWAY WITH IT

It makes no sense to stay with a partner like that-----

She loves you, she wants this to be right---give me a break---she came home every night for 18 months, looked you in the eye, and said everything was good----and had you believing that you were in a wonderful relationship----your wife no matter how you wanna look at it--is a master of deceit, a liar, and a manipulator

I hate to bring this up---but how do you know that that child didn't come from one of your so called wife's session's with her boss

Only you can decide what to do---but if you stay with this woman, who has cheated on you twice---yes the 1st time with the prof was cheating, in fact your so called wife told you to go out on your own, so she could mess around with her prof, without you around---That makes a very plausable theory

Anyway what you need to decide is between staying with her, which means you live in misery as you are now, cuz if she is around you, she will trigger you---that's just is the way it is, also if you stay, since there is no trust---if there is anything, ANYTHING out of the ordinary---you are gonna go off on her, because of her already cheating twice on you, and doing it so well you never knew

IMHO, you will drive yourself crazy with worry and anxiety if you stay with this woman----ALL OF THESE THINGS GO AWAY AND DISAPPEAR IF YOU WALK AWAY AND START A NEW LIFE.----You are young, there is a good future out there for you.


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## mary35 (Jul 18, 2010)

I think you need time and distance before making any decisions at all. You just lost a baby, and now this. Start focusing on yourself for awhile. What you want to do and should do will become clearer with time. Stay away from her for awhile so your head can clear. IC during this time would be extremely helpfull. I am really sorry you are going through this. Just take care of yourself for awhile!!


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

If you take her back you need to work on your naïveté. You simply can't trust her ever again. You don't seriously think she stopped at kissing with the prof do you? You think these two are it? Highly unlikely. Make her take a polygraph. You'll find out that you only know the tip of the iceberg.


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## DavidWYoung (Feb 3, 2012)

I think you should divorce her and then see if you still want to have a relationship with her.


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## Vanguard (Jul 27, 2011)

Run.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Ask her to pack up and leave.

File for divorce and have her served at work.

Expose the employer. 

I guarantee if you do this you will see a side of your wife emerge that you have never seen before.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

No kids.

Married only 2.5 years.

At least two known affairs. Before, and while married. Plus while in the honeymoon phase. Also apparently gave no signs of cheating as you thought everything was great.

In cases like this I can only recommend D.


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## Summer4744 (Oct 15, 2012)

No matter what, your first step should be divorce. Your marriage was always a lie. 

After you D you can R if that is what you decide, but it will be on her to win you over and convince you to marry her again if that is what she wants.

Did she tell you why she had an affair? What she was getting from OM that she was not getting from you?


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

MovingAhead said:


> First, She DOES NOT have to pay for what she did. It is NOT up to you to punish her. That is immature and irresponsible. It is how children act.


 You are the one sounding high and mighty. The OP is sounding like a normal person that was betrayed. Picking apart his choice of words is not really fair or helpful to the discussion. Perhaps saying that she must pay for what she did or that he had already given her grace the last time that she cheated is not the best wording, but it is nothing more than saying that there must be consequences for her actions and that he had already forgiven her with no consequences the last time that she cheated. He is not wrong and was in fact very reasonable in his analysis.

She cheated on him when they were still engaged and continued to cheat on him for much of his marriage. He has a right to be bitter and hurt. His marraige was dead before it had a chance to get started. They were never really a couple. He has lost years of his life that he will never get back. So back off and let the poor guy vent. He is hurting because he is human.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Let the bosses wife know that she is working at the company again I'm sure he neglected to mention it.


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## jim123 (Sep 29, 2012)

Get all the facts first. See all her texts and all emails to him. She is playing the special things we had card. See how many of them are special. Did she text and email him while you were on these trips. How often was she really thinking of him versus you. What happened when you got back, did she then go to him.

Make an educated decision.

Keep moving on. Do not try R or D until you are ready.


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## AlphaHalf (Aug 5, 2012)

> My wife’s mind was weak and she was vulnerable to this scumbags advances. I am just broken over this whole mess.



.................was she raped or did she AGREE to have sex with him for 1.5 years??? Don't let her flatter you with words of "grace". The whole marriage was a lie and this is her *second* time cheating. Was she stressed out that the baby was even yours?


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

This is her response to male authority figures. That sounds like a very submissive personality. A personality that would require a very dominant man to keep her in place. Otherwise she'll always be susceptible to other dominants.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Run


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## slater (Feb 3, 2012)

I am sorry you joined our crappy club. You should take some solice in the fact that you aren't 10 years and 2 kids into it like me when you find out about your W.

Please, for God's sake leave her. You have no regrets here. Move on and find the right girl.


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

She is a wreck.
I dont know why she confessed to you about the A with her boss.
I dont know why she told you about her professor.

She has undone the marriage. It is for you to decide.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

She must have had so much guilt because the baby probably wasn't yours.


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## mupostori (May 20, 2012)

Reconciliation after Divorce ,this is so messed up it needs a restart


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## snap (Oct 3, 2011)

She lost the OM's baby and it was the reason she finally spilled the beans. In case you wonder why now.

Sorry.


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## Carlchurchill (Jan 23, 2013)

You cant stay with her, you will picture that OMs ****/tongue/hands all over her body for the rest of your days...imagine him giving her the most amazing orgasms of her life, he is older and certainly more adept in the art than you...so it is most likely true. Ask her!

Im not religous but I believe your guardian angels saved ure ass by not allowing her pregnancy to go full term! Kids would seriously add a can of worms to your decision, right now the decision is very easy!!! In 5 to 10 years, she will just be that crazy beaatch u married when you were WAY TOO YOUNG!!!


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## cpacan (Jan 2, 2012)

OP, sorry you are here. I can promise you one thing, and that is, that this infidelity cr$p doesn't get easier to deal with once you have children. Whether she has fixed her brokenness or not, you will never stop wondering, and if you have kids with her, a decission to leave will get even heavier. 

Let this broken person go, figure out how to choose one who shares your values, and move on. I don't think anything good will come from trying to restore anything with this person.

Take care of yourself.


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## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

Go back to her, if you are happy playing second fiddle to this OM or the next. You know you deserve better than this.


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## Doc Who (Sep 9, 2012)

Sunrise
Divorcing her is not punishing her. You can still love her and divorce her. And you never really had a marriage. You know that. While some posters might be thrilled to call you childish, she actually does need to face consequences of her repeated actions. Because no matter how much you love her, she will only really change if the cost of not changing is higher.

Look, I wish I had a magic answer for you. I do not. But I can tell you she has SHOWN you who she really is. She is broken. She doesn't really care about you or marriage. She may "love" you in her way, but that is not enough for an authentic marriage with you.

Be kind to her and yourself. Move on. It will suck. You will have to grieve yet another loss in your life. But it is better to do it now instead of later when she does this again.

I know the instinct is to give another a second and third and fourth change, especially when you really love them. But you realize that really doesn't help them heal themselves. Forgive her and divorce her. It is the most loving choice you can really offer.


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## OldWolf57 (Mar 20, 2012)

I never saw where you said you was punishing her, so I don't see where moving ahead got that from.
But, if she did it to ME, I would want REVENGE.

There, is that plain enough for the higher thinker ??
I HATE to even think of where this country would be with ppl thinking like that was in charge.
In fact, we would probably still be under british rule.


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## dogman (Jul 24, 2012)

You are very lucky sunrise. You don't have children with her. She will do this to you for the rest of your life.
She does not value you. Or the vows you took together in front of Family ,friends and God.

You should move on without her and try to pull your life back from someone who would destroy it.

I usually say to work on things when there are children involved but in this case you would be foolish to continue with her. 

If you do continue with her you lose my sympathy.


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## tobio (Nov 30, 2010)

If you give her another chance... Then that's her third chance isn't it? Did she not get it after the first time?

My now-husband got into a mild EA when we were engaged. It went as far as a kiss, like your wife, and after a lot of soul-searching, we reconciled and a year after, got married.

Prior to this, I always thought one chance was enough. Afterwards, I thought, everyone is fallible, I'm certainly not perfect, and he says he can see now how it happened and where he should have drawn the line. I decided to take his word, after seeing his actions.

But I now know that having gone through that, which was relatively mild, anything more would crush me. If he decided to stray again, I know that there is not enough in my heart to convince me that he actually loved and respected me - AND that he wouldn't continue to do it.

I suppose it comes down to where is your bottom line? What is it that she would have to do to get you to say "enough is enough" if this is not it?


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## rrrbbbttt (Apr 6, 2011)

Armchair Monday morning Psycologist:

1. She lost the baby and had the epiphany that because of her misdeeds she was being punished. (Was the child yours or the bosses?)
2. She revealed all this to you to try and clear her soul so that she could move forward.

Contact a lawyer about filing a lawsuit against the company for Sexual Harrassment by the boss on your wife, he was in a position of power and used it to force an affair on your wife. If you wife is really in the supportive role she will go along with this.

Also, file with the EEOC with the Sexual Harrassment Charge.

Yeah it gets dirty, but that POS deserves it.


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

rrrbbbttt said:


> Contact a lawyer about filing a lawsuit against the company for Sexual Harrassment by the boss on your wife, he was in a position of power and used it to force an affair on your wife.


 The fact that you know of at least one other woman where he tried this with and where this other woman brought her husband in to confront the boss, shows that there is a pattern of sexual harassment by this boss. Patterns make it easier to hold the company responsible. Since the other woman that he harassed left the company over it, she may even want to join in the action against the company.


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## ubercoolpanda (Sep 11, 2012)

Hm idk, I don't buy any of your wife's stories, I think she's lying about everything. I mean, she had an affair for over A YEAR, during your WEDDING/HONEYMOON etc she was seeing this other guy, and you didn't realise a THING - how can you trust this kind of person ever again? How do you know she's even telling the truth! 

YOU may feel that you both share the same goals/dreams etc but clearly the feeling isn't mutual. 

Tell her to take a polygraph test, that's IF you plan on taking her back. Which I hope you're not!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## underwater2010 (Jun 27, 2012)

I voted that you end the marriage now. You have only been married 2.5 yrs and she cheated on you for 1.5 yrs of those. Including the fact that it started before you even got married. You have no kids (and I am saying that with my heart breaking for your loss). Please find someone that is suitable to be a wife and mother. 

I have been married 14 yrs and the only reason I stayed is because we had 11 yrs prior to his affair and 3 kids by time I found out. He is a great dad and deserves a second chance. If it had been earlier in the marriage...I would have walked.


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

She cheated through out your relationship. Cheating before marriage and cheating after marriage.

She was banging him when she told you she loved you and you are her soul mate. She was banging someone when you got engaged. She was banging OM when she took vows and married you. She was banging him when she was in honeymoon period with you.

The special movements you both shared may have happened right after she got screwed by this OM.
She ended it after 1.5 yrs then continued to work for him to collect her whoringfees as pay check. Better ask her to send him a cheque like @ $ **** for an [email protected]*** for BJ @$*** for HJ and toltal $*****.

She lied to you through out your marriage and actually you didnt have a marriage it was a lie, her vow was a lie at the time she took it,your special movements are lies.

Run to the mountains and expose OM to all the staff of the company and post him on cheaterville.com.

Dont allow him to sit back after banging your wife during your engagement and honeymoon period. The high he enjoyed banging your wife while she was on her honeymoon should not left without a pay back.

Then run man, why you need to ask here. You know she is too broken to start and continue a marriage through out with lies. She is too damaged.

By the way she didnt stopped the A after 1.5 yrs it continued for the rest of the time when she was working with him. When she was thinking of the sex and fun she had with OM. So the A never ended.

Are you sure that the child was yours?

Never think of taking her back because she says things in a sweet way. 
Consider your self lucky that she had an abortion and you knw her true colours before having children with her.

RUN TO THE MOUNTAINS.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

You got married under false pretenses. It was fraud. I say divorce is the only possible response. All your marriage has been a lie, fake, including the year of witholding the truth after stopping it (I wonder if she stopped it only becasue you moved away so she had to quit anyway, in opposition to a epiphany while in threapy). Her explanation to still get a job from this man makes no sense and even it makes sense in her mind it's no more than blameshifting, blaming OM (she had to make him pay for what?) I believe her IC told her she was preyed upon a predatory boss, she was not to blame. It's obvious she had a thing for authority figures (teacher, boss). I guess they are way older, daddy issues all the way.
I hope, for her own sake her decision to confess on her own means she's growing to a better person but sadly I believe she just couldn't keep the farce anymore after being you so determined to be her rock after the loss of your (?) kid. I believe she realized she was taking too much adventage of you already. You were too nice, too good for her. It was only for the overwelmed guilty feelings she spilled the beans.
She can redeem herself. She can do it as a divorced woman tough.


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

MovingAhead said:


> If she was weak, maybe you can understand or maybe you can't but someone who was weak doesn't need to be punished. She told everything to you which is more than most people get. She deserves some credit for that. It shows she can be remorseful and strong. That took a lot of guts.


Weakness does not mean you don't get punished. Punishment can take a lot of forms. Might mean no trust for the forseeable future, or leaving her job, or any numebr of things that would hurt her, for the marriage to continue.



> Second. You don't give GRACE. That is not up to you. You are not in position to give her grace. You can forgive her, but you are not so high and mighty that by your grace she is allowed to be married to you. That is really haughty and arrogant.


Actually, he is. The decision to stay married is in his hands. She cannot make things right or make him whole. So his decision to stay married is by his grace. Don't see how it is anything else.



> She is a person that you love or loved. She has done some really bad things. She broke your trust, violated your marriage vows etc... You need to decide what YOU want to do with your life.


No need to undersell it. But I do agree it is up to him.



> Punishing your WS is not what you should be doing. Deciding if you want R or D is. Life is not about punishing people who hurt you. That is a child's thought. It is about living the best life you can.


Again, one person's punishment is another persons boundaries. Is requiring her to quit her job if they try to reconcile punishment or a boundary? Or both?



> Sit down and write out what you want to do with your life. Think hard of you want her in your life and then decide. From there focus on being a better you and go live this life like every day is your last. Being bitter and destructive to someone you love is NOT the answer.


I agree, but you also need to include what you need and expect out of her to help heal the relationship. Her actions, not her words, will show you if she is truly remorseful. 

All this assumes that you even want to give her that chance. No shame in chosing either path.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

I cheated but my wife and I worked through it and our marriage is better than ever.

BUT... I know there's no second chance. You gave her a second chance and she failed. Time to move on.


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

Sunrise1 said:


> At this point, she wants me to give it more time before I decide to get a divorce. She tells me that she will be dead inside if I end it, saying “how could you throw it all away-think of our memories, you know who the true me was, how I loved you, it was all real, we can still be happy together forever, I’m willing to show and prove it to you…”


Though you have hinted at it, I want to be clear that these statements are crap. You aren't throwing away anything worth keeping, she did that already. You did not know the true her, because the true her was doing those things to you.

Her blaming you for a potential divorce is a big problem. She needs to own what she did and potential consequences.


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

No kids, still young. Start over, trust me it isn't easy. It can work but both parties are never the same.

Like others say, it's a new marriage but you know what I want the old wife I had prior to me cheating on her. And I know deep in my heart she wants the prior me.

It's been 15 years later and 3 kids later. Things are good (very good) but I can only look back and think, things could have been alot better if not for this huge elephant in the room.

It takes away something from the both of you that you can never get back.

Now, if you had kids and with the same situation where she told you and ended the affair on her own, I might have said give it another try.

2 1/2 years, no kids yet, start over. Your heart never heals from this betrayal.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

rrrbbbttt said:


> Armchair Monday morning Psycologist:
> 
> 1. *She* lost the baby and had the epiphany that because of her misdeeds *she* was being punished. (Was the child yours or the bosses?)
> 2. She revealed all this to you to try and clear* her* soul so that *she* could move forward.


:iagree:
Nothing about it was about you. You keep being an afterthought. Even the reconciliation she's asking for is about her.


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## The-Deceived (Jan 8, 2013)

Hate to bring this up - are you sure the child you lost was yours?

And run. Run like hell. If you had kids, it may be different. But you don't. Cheating during your engagement/honeymoon phase is really, really a bad sign.


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## Carlton (Sep 15, 2012)

Mayday, mayday. Sunrise1 in trouble.

He's in a flat spin heading out to sea!

Altitude ... ...

We're at !

I can't reach the ejection handle!

- You're gonna have to punch us out.

- I can't reach the ejection handle!

- Eject...

- Watch the canopy!

Goose... Oh, no!

Oh, God.


*Please, eject from this marriage.*


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

She is broken. You can't fix her. If you stay we will see you here again in 1.5 years and your dating value will be lower.


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## jameskimp (May 8, 2012)

No amount of therapy will help you move on from this if you continue to see her face everyday. As the poll almost unanimously shows, find someone else.


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## dymo (Jan 2, 2012)

What you do is up to you. But I do think reconciliation is possible if you want it to be. People have come back from worse than this.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

weightlifter said:


> She is broken. You can't fix her. If you stay we will see you here again in 1.5 years and your dating value will be lower.


1.5 years? Quite the optimist, eh?


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## kenmoore14217 (Apr 8, 2010)

yep, this one is OVER!


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

Sunrise1 said:


> My wife and I have been married for almost 2.5 years now. We started out as friends in college and after about a year began dating. We dated for about 4 years before we got married.
> 
> Fast forward a bit and we have been *married for 2.5 years*. We have a really *fantastic relationship*. Now, I know everyone says that but *we really did. We knew each other better than anyone else *on this earth. We traveled abroad together, read together, cuddled, spent plenty of time with each others families. We had some intimacy issues in our marriage due to things that I had been through in the past but she was so great about understanding it. We had both had some pretty heavy stuff happen to us before but *that’s one of the things that made our relationship so great – complete disclosure and support from one another*.
> 
> ...


When you are married for a long time, you will go through many ups and downs. You may have financial problems, you may have health problems, you may have problems with your children, you may have problems with your parents' health. She cheated on you when you weren't even married yet, then through your first year-plus of marriage. SHE TOLD THE OTHER MAN SHE LOVED HIM.

I'm sorry this is happening to you. YOU ARE HAVING EPISODES WHERE YOU ARE NOT THINKING STRAIGHT. I'm not talking about considering whether to reconcile or not. I'M TALKING ABOUT WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

The relationship you THINK you had is NOT the relationship you ACTUALLY had. While you were thinking how close you were with your wife, how CONNECTED you were to her, she was thinking about the OTHER MAN - at least part of the time. I guarantee you, OTHER MAN was a huge part of her life. While you were talking, cuddling, having sex, there were many times that she thought of the other man. Most likely she had communications with him before, during, and after many of your most memorable activities.

Your supposed "soul mate" type relationship with your wife was all one-sided - or at least mostly one-sided. Please also recall her flirtation with the professor. Most likely, from the very start of your relationship, she had not thought of you as seriously as you have thought of her.

SHE IS YOUR FIRST LOVE - you are not hers. Breaking up with your "true" first love is extremely difficult. If you had had serious relationships before you had this one with your wife, you would not be hesitating to pull the trigger and end this.

Before you make any decision on whether or not to reconcile, PLEASE RE-EVALUATE WHAT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR WIFE REALLY WAS, not the idealized memory you have of it. What you remember is a lie.

I also would like to point out that YOU SAY HOW CLOSE YOU TWO ARE/WERE - BUT SHE DID NOT TELL YOU WHEN HER BOSS HIT ON HER AND SHE REJECTED HIS ADVANCE. Why not? If you two were so close, and disclosed everyting to each other, as you said, she would have told you about it. But the truth is that YOU TWO WERE NOT THAT CLOSE AND DID NOT DISCLOSE EVERYTHING TO EACH OTHER - you were close to her and disclosed everything to her, she was not close to you and did not disclose everything to you. There are at least three examples of this in your post here; I'm sure if you re-evaluate your relationship you will be able to think of many, many more instances where this is the case.

If you had kids, I would say to try to reconcile solely for the kids' sake. Without kids, I think you are absolutely crazy to reconcile. She is an expert liar and she has serious, serious issues. She is broken. As evidence of that, I point not only to the flirtation with the professor, which really by itself would be a minor point, and not only to her affair during your engagement and marriage, which obviously is a huge red flag that something is broken inside her, but finally I point to the fact that she rationalized going back to work for this guy, seeing him four times a year, talking to him probably at least once a week, maybe every day, and she was going to do it for "revenge" - which she defines as getting an honest day's pay for an honest day's work. THERE IS NO WAY TO FIX SOMEONE THAT BROKEN. HER THOUGHT PROCESS IS ABNORMAL.

My opinion is that if you reconcile, you will spend many, many years trying to make sense of her screwy reasoning, often times involving men who are pursuing her, constantly having to make excuses for her in order to rationalize staying with her, such as her "weak mind" making her "vulnerable" to other men's advances.


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## carmen ohio (Sep 24, 2012)

Dear Sunrise1,

As others have already said, you have done a very good job of dealing with this so far. Thinking carefully about what you do next (divorce or try to reconcile) is what is needed now.

To help you with this, let me point out that you seem to be incredibly naively about your WW and what she did. Let me show you what I mean based on your original post:



Sunrise1 said:


> Looking for some much needed guidance and advice…
> 
> My wife and I have been married for almost 2.5 years now. We started out as friends in college and after about a year began dating. We dated for about 4 years before we got married. About a year before we graduated college we began to really talk about how serious we were. My wife had been in some serious relationships in the past, but this was really my first truly serious one. *She was worried that I didn’t know exactly what I wanted and thought it would be a good idea for us to take some time for me to kind a date around before we got even more serious (wedding talks).* *[Based on everything that has happened, you really need to reconsider what your WW's motive was in recommending a separation. You say she did it for you but, based on everything that happened subsequently, that would appear to be untrue or at least only partially true. This was probably the first time in your  relationship with her that your WW deceived you.]* I reluctantly agreed, understanding there was some usefulness in doing this. We took a break for about 1.5 months, which consisted of me giving a pretty half-assed attempt at flirting with a girl I knew at the time. My wife and I still spoke regularly and I just couldn’t bear the thought of dating anyone else-I was just too in love with her. *So, we ended up getting back together and were happy as can be.* *[You were as "happy as could be" because she hadn't yet told you what she had done. This was her second deception. If she were a really good person, she would have told you then about her infidelity and let you decide if you wanted to get back together. Instead, she waited until she was sure that she had you emotionally hooked.]*
> 
> ...


Final thoughts

(1) You don't deserve what your WW wife did to you or all the emotional pain that you will suffer for a long time to come as a result of it. But, if you take her back, you will deserve everything you get.

(2) And, if you do take her back, what will she learn from it? That she can treat you in the most callous and despicable manner but, if she begs and pleads enough, you will swallow your pride, suffer your pain, and give her another chance. This will almost guarantee that she will cheat on you again because she will have no respect for you because you will have shown that you have no respect for yourself.

Think about it.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

I am known on TAM as being pro-reconciliation, but in your case? I don't see how you could. So sorry. But only you can know your own heart and mind.

I think counselling might help you to move forward to a better life. Probably one without her in it, sadly.


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## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)




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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

You already gave her a free pass before marriage when she cheated on you with this professor. She thanked you for your kindness by boinking her boss for 1.5 years.

You already gave her a second change. Fvck her, move on.


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## carmen ohio (Sep 24, 2012)

Jasel said:


>


Jasel, who sent you my picture?


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## dogman (Jul 24, 2012)

No longer with us he is. 

Sunrise where are you?


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## barbados (Aug 30, 2012)

You state : "Another small fact: there was a girl she worked with in the same office before we moved. The same boss came on to this girl at an event out of town. She told her husband and after they both physically went to her work and talked with her boss, she left the company. She is still married to her husband and works at a different company now. Why couldn’t that have been our scenario?? "

What else do you need to know. This other woman did the right thing, your woman did not. She is a lying cheating skank who isn't gonna be happy unless she is cheating.

You already kicked her out and packed up her stuff, so just proceed ASAP and file for Divorce, and never talk to her again. And also do what Tom67 said and let his wife know that your hopefully STBXW is back working there.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

3putt said:


> 1.5 years? Quite the optimist, eh?


It is random. Could be 1.5 weeks. Could be 1.5 decades. Or anything in between.


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## CleanJerkSnatch (Jul 18, 2012)

This is crazy.

The first thought that went through my mind was 
"Is this my child?" 
Was this a medical abortion resorting to surgical abortion? 

She was having sex with her boss and I doubt they used protection.

What do you believe? What is truth, what is lie? You're living in the matrix now, all your senses are being lied to. What you need to do is listen to someone outside the cave, plato's cave, morpheus. Take the red pill!

Cheaters will lie, swear on their children and their parents graves all to save face, dignity, avoid hurting their betrayed spouse, avoid embarrassment etc. 
What IF that child was not yours. You will never know for sure now. 
What IF they did not have sex 15 times. Cheaters always minimize, so make it 150 times.

WHAT IF you never lost the baby would you still be with her?
She may have never confessed if this would have never happened and you would probably find yourself 5-10 yrs into your marriage with a cheating wife!

For whatever you decide, tell her you need the truth for HER and YOU to move on, no holds barred.


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## CleanJerkSnatch (Jul 18, 2012)

barbados said:


> You already kicked her out and packed up her stuff, so just proceed ASAP and file for Divorce, and never talk to her again. *And also do what Tom67 said and let his wife know that your hopefully STBXW is back working there.*


Expose


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## cledus_snow (Feb 19, 2012)

whether or not you choose to reconcile, you gotta look at her track record before making that decision.

the thing that bothers me is the fact this deviant behavior has reared its ugly head AGAIN. she's done this before(her professor). and cheating 2.5 years into the marriage is not a good sign. 

why didn't she tell you this POS was making advances toward her?


this is rich:



> “*how could you throw it all away-think of our memories*, you know who the true me was, how I loved you, *it was all real*, we can still be happy together forever, I’m willing to show and prove it to you…”


i find it amusing when a cheating spouse points to the "good times" as way to entice the BS into reconciliation. don't they know that f*cking someone else trumps all that.

to add insult to injury she says, "how could _*you *_throw it all away." seriously??? _she _threw it all away the moment she didn't come forward with his advances.


being married for only 2.5 years lead me to believe you're fairly young. if this is correct, i say you start over. its obvious you have serious doubts about her. why let it play in your head for the rest of the marriage? why live like that- always on edge? always doubting the authenticity of your marriage.


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## Sunrise1 (Jan 29, 2013)

I want to thank everyone for taking the time to read into my situation and give advice. It definitely helps to have you guys. As time goes on, I just can't see any solution outside of divorce. In some ways I am glad there are so many nasty truths that I found out because it makes this next step easier for me. There are glimmers of light in this dark situation; not having a child, finding out early in the marriage, becoming closer with friends and family. I will pick myself up from this and move forward with life. I know there is someone out there who will treat me with respect and I'm not about to settle.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Its tough to close the door on someone you love. You will hurt and you will just have to muddle your way through it. There is no easy way to let someone who has wronged you go. You have to just cut her off, bluntly. It will hurt like hell and you'll bleeed, but the infection will be cut out and not poison your life. 

Good luck.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jeffery (Oct 8, 2012)

I am proud of you man. get the D cut off ALL contact and move on


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## Tryingtobreath (Jan 2, 2013)

Sunrise: this is so similar to my situation. My now exwife has been having an affair w a married man for two years. It started right before I proposed and all thru our short one year marriage. I read emails she sent him during our honeymoon about how much she missed him. 

She has been living a double life on you. I would bet she has a personality disorder or a love addiction issue. 

Regardless your marriage is ruined and was a lie. 
Doing anything besides divorce will only cause you pain down the road. 
Run now. Don't look back. 
I'm sorry for you bc I'm in the exact same boat. Who was she??!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

I'm glad to hear it sunrise. She just seems like someone who isn't capable of honest intimacy. I'm so sorry.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## krismimo (Jan 26, 2011)

Sunrise I'm so sorry your are going through this, this is nuts. At first my first thought was go through the Divorce and if it so happens that your wife improves herself over time, then go from there to see if she is worth "dating". But the problem I have is as much as she has told you I get the feeling the boss is possibly not the only person she cheated with. 

The other issue I have is how long you guys were married. Not long and on top of that she cheated on you off and on for most of your relationship. I think as hurtful as this maybe is that you should cut your losses and leave. If your wife is getting help and slowly improving than good for her, but that doesn't mean you have to stay or go back with her because of it. And I know I don't know her but I feel there is 50 chance that she might cheat on you again even after you took her back. Again I'm so sorry you are here. All I can say is lean on your family and friends for support and take one day at a time.


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## Carlton (Sep 15, 2012)

Sunrise1 said:


> I want to thank everyone for taking the time to read into my situation and give advice. It definitely helps to have you guys. As time goes on, I just can't see any solution outside of divorce. In some ways I am glad there are so many nasty truths that I found out because it makes this next step easier for me. There are glimmers of light in this dark situation; not having a child, finding out early in the marriage, becoming closer with friends and family. I will pick myself up from this and move forward with life. I know there is someone out there who will treat me with respect and I'm not about to settle.


Two thumbs up man. You deserve WAY better, I think all of us here do.


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## jim123 (Sep 29, 2012)

Please go through IC to help yourself heal. Maybe at some point you can R. Focus on you and getting better.

Time heals everything. Rely on your family and friends.


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