# Dating or trying to get a date sucks.



## Sue4473 (May 29, 2018)

This post is a spin off from the one I posted few days ago 
Chatting with new dude and he got flaky. So he kept contacting me, so I though ok give him the benefit of the doubt. He even FaceTimed to show me he’s real! The convo was awesome and he set up another meeting for today at 11. Last night he confirmed and that was that.

So I get to the coffee shop early to get a seat and get situated. It’s nearing 11 and I’m watching out the window. It’s 11:07 ok maybe he’s running late weird that he didn’t call.... so I text- didn’t you say 11?
Crickets.... 
11:20 way past the time I should’ve waited but I finished my coffee and up and left. Texted- a call would’ve sufficed if there was an emergency or you just wasn’t feeling it, but you had to waste my time by being a coward and not showing. I’m deleting your number. Do not ever contact me again.

Never heard anything. Good!
I feel humiliated and hurt but I realize that he’s a loser. Trying hard not to txt my friend to see if he’s free to hook up lol. Got get lovin somehow ha! I’m kidding don’t judge we all want love in some form.

But yea that guy was a dud. ShesStillGotIt has it pegged on the money!
He’s a dumbass 😂


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## BigToe (Jun 2, 2011)

I'm glad you gave it a chance, now you know for sure. It is NO reflection on you so do not feel humiliated. You gave the situation full faith and it only makes him look bad.


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## Sue4473 (May 29, 2018)

Yea your right just stings I guess.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Lesson learned. First impressions are usually spot on so trust your instincts.


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

Hey @Sue4473, I'm really sorry that the dude was such a flake, but good for you for telling him to never contact you again. I've been doing the online dating thing for about a year, and you'll find that most of the dudes on line are flakes, jackasses, or just plain scary. The good guys are apparently out there though! Don't feel humiliated; this wasn't your doing. He's the one who should feel humiliated. Keep your chin up; the only thing you can really do is to keep on trying. I hope your luck changes!


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## Sue4473 (May 29, 2018)

Thanks Ursula!
I may get a t shirt that says that!
Online dating sucks! Bunch of liars, jackasses and just plain scary!
Lol!!!
Yes I’m pretty proud of myself for just nixing him. Where are the good ones lol at 45 I’m not getting why younger 😉


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## confused0000 (Mar 29, 2018)

Ursula said:


> Hey @Sue4473, I'm really sorry that the dude was such a flake, but good for you for telling him to never contact you again. I've been doing the online dating thing for about a year, and you'll find that most of the dudes on line are flakes, jackasses, or just plain scary. The good guys are apparently out there though! Don't feel humiliated; this wasn't your doing. He's the one who should feel humiliated. Keep your chin up; the only thing you can really do is to keep on trying. I hope your luck changes!


Most of the women on online dating are flakes too!

Don’t feel bad Sue I’m going through something similar right now we just got to keep going


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Sue4473 said:


> This post is a spin off from the one I posted few days ago
> Chatting with new dude and he got flaky. So he kept contacting me, so I though ok give him the benefit of the doubt. He even FaceTimed to show me he’s real! The convo was awesome and he set up another meeting for today at 11. Last night he confirmed and that was that.
> 
> So I get to the coffee shop early to get a seat and get situated. It’s nearing 11 and I’m watching out the window. It’s 11:07 ok maybe he’s running late weird that he didn’t call.... so I text- didn’t you say 11?
> ...




PLEASE don’t mention ShesStillGotIt and pegging in one sentence...I might actually start crying  


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## cc48kel (Apr 5, 2017)

I have no idea why guys do that!!! They get you going-- then it turns out to be nothing!! I had a guy do that to me years ago. He chatted me up and our first meeting was a coffee shop and he never showed up!!! I remember that awful feeling-- my time was wasted!!!


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Choose one of the good dating sites.IE ones where you have to pay and ones that are for your area/country only. International ones and free ones attract the scammers. Never use ones like tinder that are basically for one thing. You will never find a decent guy of integrity on one of those sites.
It works for many, but you need to be careful and cautious.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Sue, you need to know your worth honey. When he hadn't responded to your first text, and then not shown by 11;20, you should have just left and blocked his number. By texting him and "teaching him lesson" you were chasing him.

In this day and age, there is NO excuse for not contacting someone, to let them know you can't make it, unless you're lying unconscious somehwere.

Next!


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Maybe he was run over by a car on the way to see you? Doesn’t really matter now. It sucks. But try to move on. It’s his problem not yours. Know your worth is exactly right.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

Forget online ****. Do activities you enjoy doing, and the rest will sort itself out.


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## Broken_in_Brooklyn (Feb 21, 2013)

Sue4473 said:


> This post is a spin off from the one I posted few days ago
> Chatting with new dude and he got flaky. So he kept contacting me, so I though ok give him the benefit of the doubt. He even FaceTimed to show me he’s real! The convo was awesome and he set up another meeting for today at 11. Last night he confirmed and that was that.
> 
> So I get to the coffee shop early to get a seat and get situated. It’s nearing 11 and I’m watching out the window. It’s 11:07 ok maybe he’s running late weird that he didn’t call.... so I text- didn’t you say 11?
> ...


Strike, 1, 2, 3. Block his number, move on.


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

Sue4473 said:


> Thanks Ursula!
> I may get a t shirt that says that!
> Online dating sucks! Bunch of liars, jackasses and just plain scary!
> Lol!!!
> Yes I’m pretty proud of myself for just nixing him. *Where are the good ones lol at 45 I’m not getting why younger* 😉


I feel the same way, and am not far behind you at 40. It's disheartening!


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

frusdil said:


> Sue, you need to know your worth honey. When he hadn't responded to your first text, and then not shown by 11;20, you should have just left and blocked his number. By texting him and "teaching him lesson" you were chasing him.
> 
> In this day and age, there is NO excuse for not contacting someone, to let them know you can't make it, unless you're lying unconscious somehwere.
> 
> Next!


She should have texted him saying “Sorry I didn’t show up but I met a really decent guy last night and we are having lunch today”.
Then block him.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Sue4473 said:


> Thanks Ursula!
> I may get a t shirt that says that!
> Online dating sucks! Bunch of liars, jackasses and just plain scary!
> Lol!!!
> Yes I’m pretty proud of myself for just nixing him. Where are the good ones lol at 45 I’m not getting why younger 😉


*Sue: Don't blame OLD all of its own accord! As with anything else in life, there are dregs in there, just as there are in anything!

Please keep both your heart and your mind wide open! Oftentimes, Prince Charming can take awhile to truly avail himself!

"To thine own self be true!"*


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

Andy1001 said:


> She should have texted him saying “Sorry I didn’t show up but I met a really decent guy last night and we are having lunch today”.
> Then block him.


OHMYGOSHILOVETHISSOMUCH!!!

And it would work for either gender.


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## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

Sue4473 said:


> This post is a spin off from the one I posted few days ago
> Chatting with new dude and he got flaky. So he kept contacting me, so I though ok give him the benefit of the doubt. He even FaceTimed to show me he’s real! The convo was awesome and he set up another meeting for today at 11. Last night he confirmed and that was that.
> 
> So I get to the coffee shop early to get a seat and get situated. It’s nearing 11 and I’m watching out the window. It’s 11:07 ok maybe he’s running late weird that he didn’t call.... so I text- didn’t you say 11?
> ...


As you go through some of this, you will start to see signs and understand which ones are "real genuine" people and which ones are duds. 

It takes time, but you will get the feel for it. Some times it takes several dates and sometimes to takes on conversation. 

General rule is, if you are not really feeling it, blow them off. No harm, no foul...


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Being on the hunt for Mr. Right just creates too much pressure on everyone. It leads to accepting things you shouldn't, being unable or unwilling to recognize red flags early, and pinning all your hopes to every new man you meet. 

I found it really helpful to not approach each and every new person you meet online dating - or dating in general - as if they might be The One. Instead, approach each new person as if they might be someone fun to have coffee or dinner with, someone fun and interesting to talk to or to participate in whatever activity with. If they don't strike you that way, then don't even bother going out with them in the first place. If they stop being fun and interesting or you find you just don't like them much after all, then stop going out with them - no harm, no foul, no pressure. Dating should be fun, so have fun with it instead of approaching it like it's a job search. Because the truth is that most of the men you meet won't be Mr. Right. Many will be completely wrong for you, in a myriad of ways, but even some of those will be interesting people you're happy to have met. 

Stop looking for a long-term partner in every man you meet. Start looking to meet interesting people that might possibly enrich your already awesome life in some way.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Rowan said:


> Being on the hunt for Mr. Right just creates too much pressure on everyone. It leads to accepting things you shouldn't, being unable or unwilling to recognize red flags early, and pinning all your hopes to every new man you meet.
> 
> I found it really helpful to not approach each and every new person you meet online dating - or dating in general - as if they might be The One. Instead, approach each new person as if they might be someone fun to have coffee or dinner with, someone fun and interesting to talk to or to participate in whatever activity with. If they don't strike you that way, then don't even bother going out with them in the first place. If they stop being fun and interesting or you find you just don't like them much after all, then stop going out with them - no harm, no foul, no pressure. Dating should be fun, so have fun with it instead of approaching it like it's a job search. Because the truth is that most of the men you meet won't be Mr. Right. Many will be completely wrong for you, in a myriad of ways, but even some of those will be interesting people you're happy to have met.
> 
> Stop looking for a long-term partner in every man you meet. Start looking to meet interesting people that might possibly enrich your already awesome life in some way.


Yes, online dating is a numbers game for women, too.

When I’m actively doing OLD and trying to find a boyfriend, I will usually be talking to about 10 guys at a time through the app. Some of these fall off, and then I add more. Eventually, 3 or 4 will shake out into actual dates. Maybe one of those will be worth a second date. During all of this, I’m still chatting with 10 guys and adding or deleting them to the mix as necessary. It takes me a round or two like this (and usually a month or two) to end up with a guy who is boyfriend worthy. But when I do, he’s usually really great!

Until the point where we have mutually decided on exclusivity, I don’t put any weight at all on what these guys are saying. So many of them will claim to have extreme interest in you, but then will flake before ever meeting in person. When this happens, I just pretend they met their one and only and that’s why they disappeared and I wish them well. See, there’s no point in getting bitter about people disappearing. It happens. It doesn’t matter because you don’t actually know them. And it’s best to wish them all well, even if that means they found someone they like more than you.

I may randomly decide to stop talking to a guy too, and I don’t want him to get butt hurt about it. He doesn’t even know me. Maybe he said something that turned me off, maybe I re-read his profile and noticed that he is conservative, maybe I met someone else. It doesn’t matter why. If a guy gets weird and sends too many messages after I’ve ignored him it really annoys me. No one owes each other anything at this stage.

The way to be a cool as ice rock star at OLD is to remember none of them actually exist until you are in a relationship with them. A real relationship, not one date and a bunch of texts. And to be talking to multiple people at once. Because if you hone in on one and think they are doing the same, you’re going to be wrong. Everyone is talking to or at least swiping other people. Never forget that, and never let it make you butt hurt. Don’t be the bitter online dating type. They are the ones who are not successful at it.


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## Betrayedone (Jan 1, 2014)

When it comes to meeting people socially or in business I tell them......"If I am not there at the prescribed time and I have not notified you........I'm probably dead." Being a man of your word and being on time is a big deal to me..........


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