# Preferences on the basis of skin tone?



## Aburjwal (Feb 20, 2018)

My husband and I were recently having a conversation about the things we would find attractive/appealing in the opposite sex. This was just a general conversation as its normal to find other people attractive in a passing way. Something he said kind of bothered me a little. He said that he finds the dusky skin tone extremely attractive and doesn't find the black/white skin tone too appealing. Now I was kind of left wondering if that's racist or not. He said, "I don't find the black and white skin tone very appealing". Ofcourse, all of us have our own preferences when it comes to finding people attractive - facial structure, color of the eyes, height, nose etc. But I feel skin color is quite the sensitive attribute and the lines here are a little blurry for me.

Any thoughts?


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Aburjwal said:


> My husband and I were recently having a conversation about the things we would find attractive/appealing in the opposite sex. This was just a general conversation as its normal to find other people attractive in a passing way. Something he said kind of bothered me a little. He said that he finds the dusky skin tone extremely attractive and doesn't find the black/white skin tone too appealing. Now I was kind of left wondering if that's racist or not. He said, "I don't find the black and white skin tone very appealing". Ofcourse, all of us have our own preferences when it comes to finding people attractive - facial structure, color of the eyes, height, nose etc. But I feel skin color is quite the sensitive attribute and the lines here are a little blurry for me.
> 
> Any thoughts?


I wouldn’t consider it racist at all. Some people like blondes and don’t find redheads attractive. I wouldn’t call it racist at all, just a preference.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

> He said that he finds the dusky skin tone extremely attractive and doesn't find the black/white skin tone too appealing.


You asked him, and he answered. Don’t over analyze this. Sometimes us girls do that huh?

Let me say this...I find men with dark hair, tanner skin and dark eyes madd hott sexy. My first love was blonde hair, blue eyed, pale skin! 
Preferences are just that. I feel in love with HIM, not his skin tone or whatever. 

I like chocolate shakes, but vanilla are delicious too. :wink2:


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

What is a "dusky skin tone". Depending on context I don't think it's racist. People have preferences in what they are attracted to. I know guys who love a woman with porcelain skin. I know guys who prefer a woman with darker skin. I know these guys and know it's not a race based preference so I see it as the same as liking blue eyes over brown, or they like a red head over a brunette.


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## Spirit (Nov 8, 2016)

I wouldn't consider it racist. It's only personal preference.
Dusky skin is always popular; same or similar thing is about Slavic girls.

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## I shouldnthave (Apr 11, 2018)

To be “racist” means “showing or feeling discrimination or prejudice against people of other races, or believing that a particular race is superior to another”. 

I don’t think finding a tan skin tone attractive is the same as being racist. 

I am Caucasian and I do not find extremely light colored hair and super fair skin attractive. And if given a pick, I find olive complexions quite stunning. 

Does that mean I am racist? That I believe a particular racial group is superior to another? No! I just happen to find those tones more physically attractive.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Aburjwal said:


> My husband and I were recently having a conversation about the things we would find attractive/appealing in the opposite sex. This was just a general conversation as its normal to find other people attractive in a passing way. Something he said kind of bothered me a little. He said that he finds the dusky skin tone extremely attractive and doesn't find the black/white skin tone too appealing. Now I was kind of left wondering if that's racist or not. He said, "I don't find the black and white skin tone very appealing". Ofcourse, all of us have our own preferences when it comes to finding people attractive - facial structure, color of the eyes, height, nose etc. But I feel skin color is quite the sensitive attribute and the lines here are a little blurry for me.
> 
> Any thoughts?


As others have said, this is not racist. 

People have personal preferences that they cannot even explain. These preferences simply exist. I've read that they are actually based on biology. That we are attracted to those whose genes are a good match and/or augmentation to our own.

https://www.metro.us/lifestyle/relationships/genetics-sexual-attraction-immunity-the-one


Do a google search on "attraction and genetics". There are a lot of articles that talk about this.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

We are often attracted to "other". I have light skin/hair/eyes. Is that what I find attractive in men? Not in the least. However, some people are only attracted to "same" and there's nothing wrong with that. 

Attraction -- whatever the skin color being included or excluded -- is not racist.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

Racism is judging people on their race, e.g. that race is greedy, this race is violent, etc. Finding physical attributes more or less attractive isn't racist, even if the traits are connected to race.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

I agree with everything everyone has said so far.

I would also add that preferences are just that... preferences, usually not hard and fast boundaries.

I prefer redheads and dark brunettes. I prefer green or dark brown eyes. My wife has light brown hair and blue eyes and she is the most attractive woman I've ever known.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

I don’t find this a racist comment at all, it is a preference. I myself prefer my “flavors” on the darker side (actually never dated a white woman in my life), but this does not mean I have anything against people of any other racial group (skin tone), just my preference for, rather than anything against. 


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Aburjwal said:


> My husband and I were recently having a conversation about the things we would find attractive/appealing in the opposite sex. This was just a general conversation as its normal to find other people attractive in a passing way. Something he said kind of bothered me a little. He said that he finds the dusky skin tone extremely attractive and doesn't find the black/white skin tone too appealing. Now I was kind of left wondering if that's racist or not. He said, "I don't find the black and white skin tone very appealing". Ofcourse, all of us have our own preferences when it comes to finding people attractive - facial structure, color of the eyes, height, nose etc. But I feel skin color is quite the sensitive attribute and the lines here are a little blurry for me.
> 
> Any thoughts?


Yes. Several thoughts. 

In your post you sound like quite the little Social Justice Warrior.

If the lines are blurry for you, that might be a problem with you, rather than with your husband?


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

the laws of attractions that drives us towards another, can be based on some many factors but in the end the heart wants what the heart wants.....in my youth i dated girls from different cultures, races and religions but they all had one thing in common a brilliant mind...it didn't matter what wrapper it came in.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

I prefer darker skin tones.

Welsh people often have somewhat darker skin tones.

My wife is of Indian/Welsh stock.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

I don't understand why you even begin to think that your husband's comment could even be racist. Did he state he has some sort of hatred towards people of a certain skin color? All he did was state his preference, what he is attracted to (in general). I have darker skin (especially in the summer, tan very easily). However, I find fair skinned women most attractive. Hopefully that doesn't make me racist again people of my skin color or darker lol.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Andy1001 said:


> I wouldn’t consider it racist at all. Some people like blondes and don’t find redheads attractive. I wouldn’t call it racist at all, just a preference.


Absolutely. 

People can go freaking overboard on on what's too controversial or "sensitive".

I don't normally express this type of opinion, but those folks can bite me.

😊😊😊


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Aburjwal said:


> My husband and I were recently having a conversation about the things we would find attractive/appealing in the opposite sex. This was just a general conversation as its normal to find other people attractive in a passing way. Something he said kind of bothered me a little. He said that he finds the dusky skin tone extremely attractive and doesn't find the black/white skin tone too appealing. Now I was kind of left wondering if that's racist or not. He said, "I don't find the black and white skin tone very appealing". Ofcourse, all of us have our own preferences when it comes to finding people attractive - facial structure, color of the eyes, height, nose etc. But I feel skin color is quite the sensitive attribute and the lines here are a little blurry for me.


Man. People can't even SAY the word 'black' or 'white' anymore without everyone acting so damned rabid and making unnecessary and silly accusations of people being racist or being a bigot. It's gotten *SO FRIGGEN OLD*.

What - your husband has to find blacks and whites just as attractive too or that makes him some kind of racist? 

_Really??_


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

MattMatt said:


> I prefer darker skin tones.
> 
> Welsh people often have somewhat darker skin tones.
> 
> My wife is of Indian/Welsh stock.


Indeed. I used to think Catherine Zeta-Jones was Hispanic! I had no idea about Welsh women.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> Indeed. I used to think Catherine Zeta-Jones was Hispanic! I had no idea about Welsh women.


Catherine is VERY Welsh!


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## Spirit (Nov 8, 2016)

MattMatt said:


> I prefer darker skin tones.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


My SO is Italian/English/German with Italian as dominant. South blood usually over-rules it.

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## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

MattMatt said:


> Catherine is VERY Welsh!


You cannot speak like this in public these days. Is being WELSH a colour of skin or a product of birth in Wales or another trait? 

I was reported to Human resources for telling what I thought was a joke which had two people of different skin colours in it. They made me go on an Equality and Diversity course which cost my Employer 300 Pounds and cost me all day. 

I have been very wary of participating in anything that has skin colours since. 

Its debilitating. You cannot say you saw a white guy or an Asian guy or a black guy. You have to describe them by what they were wearing provided that is not race specific or religion specific.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

MaiChi said:


> You cannot speak like this in public these days. Is being WELSH a colour of skin or a product of birth in Wales or another trait?
> 
> I was reported to Human resources for telling what I thought was a joke which had two people of different skin colours in it. They made me go on an Equality and Diversity course which cost my Employer 300 Pounds and cost me all day.
> 
> ...


Welsh people and people of Welsh decent such as myself, tend to generally have darker skin then their saesneg neighbours.

So it is a combination of ancestry and also birthplace, too.

And I shouldn't worry about your employer. They should have been able to claim back the cost of the training against tax.


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## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

Similarly, I have preferences on the basis of sex. I happen to find women much more attractive than men. So does that make me a bigoted sexist?


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Theseus said:


> Similarly, I have preferences on the basis of sex. I happen to find women much more attractive than men. So does that make me a bigoted sexist?


Yes it does. 
And worse, it makes you a homophobe as well!


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Being a bigot, homophobic, or whatever type of prejudicial label one chooses to use is not based on preferences for but rather on discrimination against. One should not confuse the two concepts. 

My preferences have nothing to do with anything other than what I prefer in type. However a person’s discrimination against others based on characteristics such as skin tone, sexual preference and the like are very different.

I am heterosexual male who has a preference for particular type of woman. However, I don’t have any discriminating feelings against those who choose differently in their preferences (skin tone or even sexual preferences). 


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I discriminate based on how people act =/


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