# My Wife's Favorite Position: Corpse



## Time4Joy (Dec 13, 2012)

I'm 66 and my wife is 56. We've been married (second time for each) for 4 years and been together for 10. I'm always randy and with the help of the blue bill, ready. Her not so much. She'll tease and she dresses provocatively. (Yes, my younger friends you can still be provocative at 56.) In bed she's still, if not rigid. 

She won't allow oral and I really like to do that. She says it's icky. Got that out of the way the first week we met. I really do like to eat *****, and so that was an issue. Only once when she was in her cups and she enjoyed it, but didn't remember. She's "pleasured me" twice and that's it. 

Okay, I'm a guy who likes to make love. It's in my make up and probably stems from being the "man of the house" at age 14 and taking care of mom and two siblings. Overwhelming sense of responsibility and caring. 

So, sex is infrequent. She works away from home two weeks of each month and when she flys home she's beat the first night and we'll just cuddle. Sex later is just me climbing on board and going at it after lots of my kissing, stroking, rubbing and all the right stuff. She actually said her favorite position is "corpse." So, I'm frustrated. 

My wife: An amazing woman. Brilliant. Accomplished. Respected by coworkers. Sought out for her opinion in technical fields. Kind. Sweet. And, when she's home under little stress. Formerly took Effexor but stopped after we got together (yeah!)

About me: Average guy: 5'10" 185 lbs. Blond & balding. Pretty fit for my age. Love to hunt, camp, but no adrenaline sports, except for motorcycles and fast cars. Former CEO and currently a freelance writer. Comfortable life. 

Do we talk about sex? Not so much. She's southern and very traditional. I've not pushed it...probably my fault and due to feeling that it wouldn't be welcome. 

A couple things: She had breast reduction surgery at age 20 so nerve endings are not sensitive there. Was beaten by mother when she found out about first sexual encounter at age 17. 

All comments and help deeply appreciated.


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

I chuckled at your title, even though your situation is not funny at all. 

I wonder if she's fantasizing in a way that lets her relinquish responsibility for enjoying sex. This is not terribly uncommon, particularly in women who have been raised in a very religious environment. It's the basic idea behind why rape fantasies are so common, too. 

IF that is the case, you may be able to gradually become more dominant and assertive, effectively taking control and "forcing" her to submit to the things you'd like to do, but you'll have to get an okay from her first. Ask her if she'd allow you to role play once in a while, and if she seems receptive at all (it will be uncomfortable for her to even talk about it, so watch for her body language), introduce possible scenarios where you'd be in a dominant position.

That's about the only thing I can think of...


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## IsGirl3 (Nov 13, 2012)

She sounds amazing. You think talking won't be welcome, but maybe it's worth a shot. When you are together, how often do you have sex? Does she ever enjoy 'corpse' sex? When you have sex, is it pity sex on her part? Does she have low drive, or no drive? Would wine loosen her up? Does anything make her horny? If you said that you'd like to try new things in bed, would she just dismiss that? Does she know how incredibly important sex is to you?


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## Time4Joy (Dec 13, 2012)

Many thanks for responses. Kathy provided some ideas I'll explore. I'm thinking we're mentally inhibited. 

A question for the women from the south...is the distaste (sorry) for head a southern thing? I do realize I'm asking for stereotypical information, but I've had all kinds of partners from New Jersey, California and Montana, amongst others and all liked head. And, I like to give a good tongue lashing LOL. 

Knowing that there are other folks in the boat is helpful.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

What on earth were you thinking marrying this woman? You clearly knew how she was. And it's not like you're some ignorant kid. Did you think it would improve? It kind of sounds like you got what you expected.


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## Time4Joy (Dec 13, 2012)

As for fooling around while away. ( I do appreciate the poster suggesting a Shakespearean issue.) Not likely because of the unique circumstances involving her work--overseas Muslim environment. 

We need to talk and I need to tell her what I'm into. Hard to believe that it's that simple. Anyone else who's had similar experiences sound off.


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## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

Time4joy-you are 66 what the heck are you waiting for,You should know there are no do overs in life by now so you have to live every day.

I think if your wife is that southern proud she will fight for her man so sit her down and tell her your are not happy with the sex and if you are going to make it corpse will not work for you.


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## IndyTMI (Oct 26, 2012)

After my wife's hormone treatments started kicking in, she has gone from corpse sex to her initiating and riding me like a wild horse. 
She doesn't like giving head so much, but does so when I request it...she never turns me down for a good tongue lashing.


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## Saki (Dec 7, 2011)

You should lead this relationship where you want it.

Not talking about it is a reflection on your own uncomfortable-ness with the topic. 

Push your comfort zone, push her comfort zone. If it's important to you, make it happen.

My wife shares the same opinion on receiving head. I'm the same typa guy you are. When she's "into" sex, she dosent care. So when it seems like she's into it, I don't ask questions I just do it. Sometimes that works.


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## married&lovingit (Jan 26, 2011)

IslandGirl3 said:


> Does she know how incredibly important sex is to you?


:iagree:

Not quite your ages (both in the low 50's), but once 'she' acknowledged this, our sex life improved dramatically. This acknowledgement came within the last 2-3 years.

And everything else about our 30+ year relationship improved alongside...

Broaching the topic - if available in your area, watch (together) the Dr Laura Berman Show "In the Bedroom" on the Oprah Winfrey network. Afterwards, we are able to delve much deeper into conversations about sex and our desires/boundaries/etc.


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## Zig (Oct 6, 2012)

The title of this thread is so funny and so utterly depressing at the same time.


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## ARF (Jan 26, 2011)

Have a couple drinks together before having the talk about what each of you like sexually. I have tried with my wife several times only to feel like I did a lot of talking about it but still came out not knowing what my wife really wanted.

She had a couple drinks and become more of an open book so to speak.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Time4Joy said:


> Was beaten by mother when she found out about first sexual encounter at age 17.


Has she ever enjoyed sex?

Being beaten by your mother certainly has the potential to kill a sex drive.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

married&lovingit said:


> :iagree:
> 
> 
> Broaching the topic - if available in your area, watch (together) the Dr Laura Berman Show "In the Bedroom" on the Oprah Winfrey network. Afterwards, we are able to delve much deeper into conversations about sex and our desires/boundaries/etc.


This is the funniest and most unusual thread title ever on TAM!!!!!!
I laughed out loud when I read it. :rofl:

I have also recorded and saved the Dr. Laura Berman shows and watched them with my wife. It is easier for her to talk about and relate to other couples facing the same issues. I would highly recommend this also.


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## Time4Joy (Dec 13, 2012)

Many thanks for the comments. Reading them, and those on other posts has been very helpful. Both my sweetie and I avoid conflict. Ten years and not one cross word between us. I'm thinking we need to set aside time for THE TALK. She's a fascinating woman and so part of my reticence is not wanting to say/do anything that would be unwelcome. And, I can hear her now as she lapses into tech-speak, "Be specific. Give examples." 

Responses to some of the advice: When she hit menopause things changed a lot sexually. Just not interested, where as before we'd be knocking boots four times a night. Got her to the doc and she prescribed some hormone cream. Doesn't seem to have helped. I think I just have to prevail and let her know this is important, that I want to please her and failing to do that presents issues of rejection. 

For those who suggested massages and oils, she's too ADHD to lay still. I love a good rub tho. 

Again, thanks for the help. If anyone can think of a good way to approach the subject in THE TALK please share.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

I don't have anything to add, but the title of the thread is pretty funny even if it wasn't intended that way.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

You know I have some advice after all. A while back I read this really dense, cerebal book (a really cure for insomnia) but it's very popular with those that have issues communicating about sexual matters. It's the Passionate Marriage:Keeping Love and Intimacy in Committed Relationships book by David Schnarch. I've linked it for you on amazon. Amazon.com: Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships (9780393334272): David Schnarch: Books


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## sharkeey (Apr 27, 2012)

Time4Joy said:


> she's too ADHD to lay still.


Yet in bed she's a corpse.


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## kevinocarro (Jan 3, 2013)

It's the basic idea behind why rape fantasies are so common, too.


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## Dr. Rockstar (Mar 23, 2011)

I wish I had something to contribute, but I don't. But I just have to give Time4Joy the big thumbs up and a like because of the thread title alone. I don't care who you are, that right there is funny!


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

Okay, so your wife's mom kicked her ass for having sex... at age 17? In the early 70s?

So, that one incident can cause a whole lot of aversion - even 40 years later - I would imagine. Moreover, that severe a reaction to sex speaks a great deal about her mother's values.

My guess is that sex was considered dirty or taboo in her home. If that is the case, you might have a whole childhood's worth of bad teaching to overcome.

Get thyselves to counseling.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

Time4Joy said:


> As for fooling around while away. ( I do appreciate the poster suggesting a Shakespearean issue.) Not likely because of the unique circumstances involving her work--overseas Muslim environment.


Oh...Muslim men don't have sex? Hate to break it to you, but Muslm men fool around on their wives all the time.

Now, is it LIKELY? No. But it's possible. And she DOES have Western co-workers...

But have the talk first. It might be that simple. And if you get the chance, maybe help her unpack her luggage...just to be sure.


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## StargateFan (Nov 19, 2012)

Great title .

It has inspired me as to how to handle it when the corpse position occurs. After a little prodding if it still does not move I will get up/off and pull the sheet over her head and start dialing the phone. When she asks what the hell I am doing I will act all relieved and say " Oh good, you are OK. I was just calling 911 " 

The phone part might be overkill, but the sheet should get the message across.


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## IndyTMI (Oct 26, 2012)

My wife's hormone treatments were in shot form, not a creme.
I think she gets a series of 4 or 5 over the course of 3 or 4 weeks apart. Perhaps she would respond better to the shots.


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## Time4Joy (Dec 13, 2012)

Thank you Indy.

I'm kind of like the guy who says,"I've been rich. And I've been poor. Rich is better. Had great sex after first marriage. I mean after first marriage terminated. Started out great within limits but with passion. Now necrophilia seems my lot. She comes home thursday and well have the talk I've been putting off


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

Time4Joy said:


> Thank you Indy.
> 
> I'm kind of like the guy who says,"I've been rich. And I've been poor. Rich is better. Had great sex after first marriage. I mean after first marriage terminated. Started out great within limits but with passion. Now necrophilia seems my lot. She comes home thursday and well have the talk I've been putting off


Long overdue. Good luck...and check her luggage.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Hey OP...any update?


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

zombie thread!!!! pun intended!


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

chillymorn said:


> zombie thread!!!! pun intended!


Now that is funny right there.... :rofl:


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## Terry_CO (Oct 23, 2012)

"My Wife's Favorite Position: Corpse"

Sounds like my Ex  When ...she would allow me the honor 

I just hope it doesn't completely dry up for you altogether, like it did for me.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

chillymorn said:


> zombie thread!!!! pun intended!


Nahh...a zombie thread is one that's been hit on after a year or more. This one is barely a month old. And it wouldn't have been resurrected if a certain poster hadn't come on here simply to laugh at the title...again. But then he removed his post for...well, some reason or another...


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## Time4Joy (Dec 13, 2012)

Not a zombie thread at all. I posted the follow up under "It's Alive!" and thanked all who helped achieve good and getting better result.


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