# Meeting to pick up children



## J311 (May 2, 2016)

Well as I mentioned previously in another post my wife and I are going through a divorce she is 29 I'm 34. We live 3 hours apart and meet in the middle. She shows up 40 minutes late. I had asked her to bring a softball from her parents house so I could play ball with my son. Nothing, she dropped the kids off and left before I even finished buckling them up. She has yet to call to see if we made it home. She is unreal. Anyone else run into similar issues? She just doesn't give a ****


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## Mclane (Apr 28, 2016)

Why should she call to make sure you made it home?

Are you in a dangerous area prone to high crime or earthquakes?

You can't stop on the way and buy a softball?

I know nothing about your situation other than what I read in that one post and it's obvious your wife is angry at you and wants nothing whatsoever to do with you. Since you're getting divorced, things are obviously not going well between the two of you so to expect her to do you a favor such as fetching a softball or calling to see if you got home safely, or hanging around for idle chatter while you do the child transfer is to say the least, unreasonable expectations on your part.


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## Happilymarried25 (Mar 19, 2014)

Why is she so pissed at you? Did you want the divorce and she didn't or is this how she always has acted thoughout your marriage. If so then did you except her to change after you got a divorce? You can't control how she acts so just don't let it get to you.


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## J311 (May 2, 2016)

Well don't you think she want to know her 2.5 and 3.5 made it home? She said she would include a softball.


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## J311 (May 2, 2016)

She wants the divorce not me.


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## J311 (May 2, 2016)

I will go buy a softball no problem it would have just been easier for her to include. It's not easy taking 2 small children in a store. And I didn't want to spend my 1 full day with my children shopping


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

She also said she'd love you forever.

You were well advised by the first response to your post. 

You can expect nothing but what is required of her from now on. You're not going to heal if you keep talking or wishing you could talk to her.

Feel free to vent to us. You're hurt.
But try not to expect her to want to have anything to do with you. It is what it is-- a divorce. Not a gentle, sweet parting of ways. She isn't your friend. And she knows you'd call if something happened. She's not worried.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## J311 (May 2, 2016)

Understood, sucks but I get it. I have been doing the 180 where I don't contact her for any reason other than to talk to the kids. I would like to work this out


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

J311 said:


> I will go buy a softball no problem it would have just been easier for her to include. *It's not easy taking 2 small children in a store. *And I didn't want to spend my 1 full day with my children shopping


:rofl::rofl::rofl:

Sorry, the bold just struck me as funny. How do you imagine she acquired that softball you wanted her to do you a favor and send? I'm guessing that since the children apparently live with her, other than the "1 full day" they're with you, that she spends lots of her time taking those same two small children into stores. She probably forgot the softball, and likely wouldn't even consider you having to go buy a new one as a hardship. 

But, as others have already said, you really shouldn't expect her to do you favors or want to talk. Apparently, your divorce is not so amicable that she's interested in being friendly.


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## Mclane (Apr 28, 2016)

J311 said:


> I will go buy a softball no problem it would have just been easier for her to include. It's not easy taking 2 small children in a store. And I didn't want to spend my 1 full day with my children shopping


Your soon to be exwife is not looking to make your life any easier, in fact the harder life is for you the better she likes it. 

I know it's nearly impossible to imagine the person you thought you'd spend the rest of your life with will not cut you a break by doing something as simple as picking up a softball to save you the trouble of bringing two small children into a store.

Get use to it, this is only the beginning my friend. It's uphill from here.


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## J311 (May 2, 2016)

When the kids play at her parents house where she is living the balls stay in the yard. I asked her to bring one from the yard she said yes and didn't bring it. Oh well I don't give a **** anymore. I'm not going to cut her any slack


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## Mclane (Apr 28, 2016)

It sounds like you do care a lot about the softball. 

Just say'en.


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## J311 (May 2, 2016)

It's more about principle. I'm sure I have much coming probably from her


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Stop expecting (and therefore asking) things of her.

Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*It's rather obvious that in her eyes, that you're all but dead to her now! Don't expect anything resembling a favor from her!

I was just wondering if there was any infidelity committed by either party in your marriage? *
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Bluesclues (Mar 30, 2016)

Everything is magnified at the beginning of divorce. She forgot to pack a softball while getting all the kids stuff together and wrangling them into the car for a long ride and she is deemed an inconsiderate b who doesn't give a ****. One day you will forget to send home your child's favorite blanket because it was hidden behind a chair and she will complain to her camp that you are a sperm donor who doesn't care about his kids. It is an unfortunate side effect of the pain and anger of divorce on both sides, no matter who wanted it. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## J311 (May 2, 2016)

understood, and no infidelity on either part.


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## J311 (May 2, 2016)

All she gave me was there computer 5 diapers for her and 2 pairs of clothes so she didn't really have to pack a lot.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Wow, are you just looking for reasons to lash out? I would bet if the scenario was turned around a bit you would still be pissed, I can see the post......I'm so pissed , my soon to be ex brought a softball and told me to play catch with my son during my visitation weekend. Who is she to tell me what to do with my kids on my time? And then she calls later just to make sure we made it home! Seriously? I'm a grown ass man and I don't need her checking up on my driving ability and questioning my level of responsibility!

OP you are just looking for reasons to grip, the only legitimate issue you have is her showing up 45 minutes late. Temper your anger my friend, the divorce is happening and now you need to focus on being a good dad. Getting ticked off and worked up over irrelevant crap can set the tone for how you and the kids start your weekend together. 

And talk about being over dramatic...taking two kids into a store is not a big deal. If it's truly that overwhelming for you maybe you need to reconsider having the kids for entire weekends, comments like that make me question your abilities.


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## Tortdog (May 2, 2016)

It isn't about principle. She doesn't like you. She doesn't want to help you. 

Doesn't take all day to buy a softball at Academy. In fact, shopping with kids can be a chore and some of the funniest stories raising our kids happened in a store. 

You sound mad about the divorce and I get it. But it is a divorce. Move on.


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## J311 (May 2, 2016)

I guess at the end of the day im pissed off about having to go through a divorce with two small children. Trying to work on this best as possible. I want to work this out with her. We both have things to work out i know i do for sure. She said however she has nothing to work on she didnt do anything wrong. The only perfect person is in the cemetery. I guess it's just her unwillingness to work it out. I hate it for our kids!


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## Mclane (Apr 28, 2016)

J311 said:


> The only perfect person is in the cemetery.


They are? That's a shame. 

What the heck are you talking about?


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