# Did I rush my marriage



## christine30 (Mar 23, 2010)

don’t know what to think of my situation, I recently got married 8months ago. My husband and I got engaged within 6 months into our relationship and got married the next year. During our engagement, we had some issues with trust, and so forth. We tried to work it out and. Plus, his parents funded half of the wedding already, we decided to try to work things out and continue with the wedding. Plus, that was my mother wish - I had to leave the home as a married woman. 
I love him, because he understood me and he was with me during one of my greatest ordeal in life- much more being there for me when something went wrong. He is a caring, understanding and caring. However, during our engagement and being with each other, his drinking was the main fault for our relationship. He would get very emotional and ignorant at times, that I couldn’t handle it – especially, growing up with an alcoholic father. But I tried my best and kept hoping things would change. 
So during our wedding month, he promised me he would slow down on the drinking, and I believed him – because I know you can’t go cold turkey. We are both just turned 30.. so we still enjoying ourselves. Anyhow, we got married did the honeymoon, which was great and I felt so much closer to him than ever. 
Boom, we return back to reality and the drinking continued every weekend, I would fight, cry and every weekend it was an emotional roller coaster for me, and that is where I withdrew from him psychically and emotionally. It came to the point where his parents intervene, and he was ignorant to that as well. What made him stop was a DWI in which he has to wear a bracelet and is banned from drinking until the end of next month. So, I don’t know how he will be when that time comes. Will he change or go back to this old ways? 

The problem is since I with drew from both emotionally and physically – I had an casual fling with a coworker of mines, he was basically everything I wanted in a guy ( looks, personality and I just felt less stress with him around). In my eyes, if I was single I would of done anything for this guy, and I haven’t felt that way with anyone like that in a long time esp. with my husband. I feel bad for what I have done to my husband. I don’t know if I went to this guy for the emotional state or the attractiveness. I know nothing will happen between me and this guy. Should I just forget everything and continue to work things out with my significant other. 

I thank you in advance for your honest opinions. I am not perfect- I don’t have anyone to talk to with out judging me. But your opinions might make me understand a bit more.


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## cantletgo (Mar 22, 2010)

First of all, as a woman who's husband cheated, I would say that there is no reason to tell him. I wish I hadn't asked the questions I did. Sometimes ignorance really is bliss. However, the more serious problem is his drinking. He sees that you have put up with his behavior to this point, so why change? Maybe if you left him or made him leave, stating that until he is sober you can't be with him, it would light a fire under him. I would also make the condition that he get into a program, because without outside support, he may not be able to stop.


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