# Ladies advice



## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

My wife and I have been married 31 years, with the last 10 her being emotionally distant. Things have been better the last few months. My question is sometimes after cooking, she will ask me if I want her to fix me a plate. I will tell her I can fix it, as I don't want to come off needy. My question is, should I let her? Does she secretly want to do this? I know this is not a saucy question, but I would like to know.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

I don't know your story, but just based on what you wrote above, it seems to me that you're overthinking things. Let her fix a plate for you if she offered. I would take her offer at face value. Why offer if she doesn't want to do it? Take her up on her offer and give a sincere thanks. Perhaps she's trying to fix her side of the street by being more attentive to you. I don't see that you have anything to lose by accepting her offer.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

Thound said:


> My wife and I have been married 31 years, with the last 10 her being emotionally distant. Things have been better the last few months. My question is sometimes after cooking, she will ask me if I want her to fix me a plate. I will tell her I can fix it, as I don't want to come off needy. My question is, should I let her? Does she secretly want to do this? I know this is not a saucy question, but I would like to know.


I always fix my husband plate. Probably because I saw my Mom and 2 older sister do it. I never even gave it a thought from the beginning. I guess I just a nuturer anyway so I spoil him for sure. Maybe she want to nurture you a little?


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Is her love language 'acts of service' maybe?

My man loves good food and appreciates the time and effort I put into preparing him yummy dinners etc... 

It IS an act of love for me. 

I'd suggest next time she offers say " thanks that would great" and give her a smile and a "thank you".


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

waiwera said:


> I'd suggest next time she offers say " thanks that would great" and give her a smile and a "thank you".


This. And touch something. My H usually say "thanks babe" and rub my arm, squeeze my thigh if I'm sitting, or just rub my hand.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

I like making my husband his plate and vice versa. It's a nice gesture. I don't see anything needy in it. It's an act of human kindness.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

I don't think there's anything 'secretly' about it. She's offering. Why not accept with thank you? Try it out. I wouldn't consider that as needy. It's just courtesy towards each other. 

For us, whoever cooks (mostly him, ahem) plates up and we always thank each other for dinner. And if I've cooked it's best he thanks me before he tastes it lol. It's just one of those little daily scenarios. If I'm making a cup of tea, I'll always offer to make him one. I think it would feel strange to hear him respond that he could make it himself.


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## JustHer (Mar 12, 2013)

Thound, I remember your posts. I think it is good to let your wife do things for you, after all, love is a verb. It is our actions and service that keep us, or get us back to, being in love. Let her do these little things for you, BUT YOU HAVE TO BE VERY THANKFUL. SAY THANK YOU, SHOW IT, FEEL IT AND LET HER FEEL IT.


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## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

I love to do this for my hubby. He cooks more then I do so when I takeover that chore, I like to make it "pretty." A good presentation adds to the tasty food.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Thanks for all of the great responses. I just want to make sure I don't come across as needy, and after the responses, I dont think it is an issue.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

"Yes, please fix me a plate, but we'll both eat off my plate as you sit on my lap..."


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## Fallen Leaf (May 27, 2013)

Sometimes I fix him a plate and sometimes I don't. Depends on how I'm feeling but every time I make a meal and we eat at the dining table, he always thanks me and gives me a pucker on the lips.

When he cooks, I always thank him and make sure our kids thank him too, but no puckers from me.


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## Boottothehead (Sep 3, 2013)

I think it's a sweet gesture, nothing more. Enjoy the fact that your wife is doing something nice for you. And return the favor when you get a chance. Also, yay for being married so long!


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