# Never been happier: Success stories



## Cromer

Ok, if you're a post-divorce success story please feel free to chime in on this topic.

I know it's been less than a year since final, and maybe I'm revising history, but I've never been happier. Maybe I never really knew what it was like to be happy in all aspects of my life at once. I have an amazing woman in my life, more tenderness (and sex) than ever, my children are all successful, I'm going to be a grandpa, I'm financially secure, the drama from my XWW's family has died, and I am about to embark on a second career that I'm passionate about until the lady retires. Until then, we will travel during the summers, then more travel.

It took a while to get here, and maybe the years of pain that I endured isn't balanced (yet), but when I look back I wouldn't change a thing. There is life after divorce, and it can be a great one. At least, that's where things seem to be headed, but I know that I need to be more measured in how I am anticipating the future. 

I hope everyone who endures the tragedy of divorce, especially from a cheating spouse, can find happiness. Not sure why I posted this, but it's how I'm feeling at the moment. My girl comes home tomorrow, so maybe I'm a bit excited. :smile2:


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## sunsetmist

Soooo happy for you! Helps restore my faith in future possibilities.

If you have bitterness, you hide/overcome it well, but it seems more like you've 'let go' of all that angst.

YOU are so deserving of the place you are now enjoying. It is as if you are filled with inner joy and hope. Blessings...


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## arbitrator

*Despite the sad fact that I've endured divorce twice in as many tries, don't have a plethora of money, and am not an Adonis, I do know that I have salvation in Christ, a Post-college education, a God-driven conscience, two wonderful college educated sons, and a loving golden retriever, all of whom I exercise undying trust and faith in!

And if perchance, a faithful Mrs. Arb ever avails herself and comes into the mix, then that would indeed be a totally unexpected blessing from above!*


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## SentHereForAReason

Regardless of what happens with me, I am genuinely happy when other people find redemption, happiness, a comeback from adversity, etc. Very happy for you sir.

As for me ... it's just too early to even think about, I just don't know what I don't know suppose. Being 13 months post D-Day, about 11 months past, she was pretty much telling me she was done (and secretly wanting to leave me for other man), 7 months past divorce filing and almost 3 weeks since official divorce, I am just really early in the process.

I am finding solitude in some things but hurts like Hell when I don't have the kids (50%) of the time and when I go to places, see thing and hear things that trigger the loss of my entire family unit, it still sucks. I realize how awful it is what she became, how she treated me and the year of Hell but I still am mourning the loss of what truly made me happy in life, at least up until this point, the whole family unit, the one marriage, one life for the rest of my life.

I feel glimpses every now and then of what it will feel like when I do find someone else, when I see someone smile over at me or connect eyes with someone, etc. Someone that will give back and love back as much I have to offer. I am sort of numb to everything but I am open to the fact that my dream and love of what was, can be replaced by something else. But then as I talk to my daughter after story time and she cries about missing all of us being the same house and how she isn't used to divorce yet and how momma and daddy don't wear their 'promise rings' anymore (she's 7 and a sweetheart) .... it brings me back to the current reality that our world was blown apart. 

Like I said, I just don't know what I don't know and for nearly 2 decades, since I was 20, now 38, all of I have known in a partner is my EW. 

Maybe it's hard to explain and I am just being stupid. I do miss the good times that we had and I do miss her in those good times but most of what I miss, is what up until this point was my dream and my happiness .... family. Seeing my family happy and whole is what makes me truly happy, I mean made me happy. I am someone who is independently happy, so I don't require other people to do things for me to bring my own happiness, I get enjoyment out of doing for others, especially those I love most but again, maybe it's because that is how it has been. 

I guess even though I don't know what that replacement is in terms of the dream that will replace my previous vision but I will end with this. I believe God has brought me here not to see my dreams end, my true happiness fade away but to show me a different path and have me push through with my head held high, towards this new dream that will be fulfilling for me and my entire family. Whenever I have faced adversity in my life or thought, man, this really f'ng sucks or hurts, why am I here. There was a reason and it led me to bigger and better things. I believe I will get there, to that place that I have always, eventually found, just the vision is pretty damn cloudy right now of what that looks like til I get there.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

I'm not D or in M distress; but I'm glad to see you start this thread and give a great report/update. 

Imho this can be a thread of encouragement to all.

Glad to hear you'll be a Grandpa soon! We just had our second. It's great!

Best wishes!

Ragnar


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## Kamstel

Couldn’t happen to a better guy!!!


What field is the new career in???


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## RandomDude

Hope can be restored even when all hope is lost.


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## BluesPower

I am as happy for you, as everyone else has said.

My GF and I often say that the relationship that we have now is some type of karmatic repayment for all of the crap that we have been through in our lifes. 

It kind of seems crazy that we think that way, but it really seems like some type of fate or divine intervention. 

I have never been with a woman as wonderful as she is, and I have been with way more that my share. And not ONE of them was as special as this one women that I met and feel in love with quite completely by accident. 

Maybe the universe is not really giving me a break for what I have been through in my life, but it sure fells that way.


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## oldshirt

Cromer said:


> .
> 
> I hope everyone who endures the tragedy of divorce, especially from a cheating spouse, can find happiness.
> 
> :


You need to change your outlook and perspective on this. 

The tragedy you endured was your so-called marriage.


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## oldshirt

Cromer said:


> I hope everyone who endures the tragedy of divorce, especially from a cheating spouse, can find happiness.


You need to change your outlook and perspective as well as your verbiage. 

The tragedy you endured here was staying in your so-called sham of a marriage. 

The divorce was your rebirth and getting your life back. 

Divorce is often the blessing.


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## Taxman

Cramer, I am a believer in Karma. The universe seeks balance (guess that is the accountant in me, always looking for balance). You ate crap for ten years. Always sought to be fair, but was treated with injustice. Your ex betrayed you three times, and she has paid, and will pay for those transgressions against a good man who still treats her with undeserved respect. Your lovely new fiancé and this new life is your reward. Enjoy the hell out of each other. The universe was saving you for each other.


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## just got it 55

Cromer said:


> Ok, if you're a post-divorce success story please feel free to chime in on this topic.
> 
> I know it's been less than a year since final, and maybe I'm revising history, but I've never been happier. Maybe I never really knew what it was like to be happy in all aspects of my life at once. I have an amazing woman in my life, more tenderness (and sex) than ever, my children are all successful, I'm going to be a grandpa, I'm financially secure, the drama from my XWW's family has died, and I am about to embark on a second career that I'm passionate about until the lady retires. Until then, we will travel during the summers, then more travel.
> 
> It took a while to get here, and maybe the years of pain that I endured isn't balanced (yet), but when I look back I wouldn't change a thing. There is life after divorce, and it can be a great one. At least, that's where things seem to be headed, but I know that I need to be more measured in how I am anticipating the future.
> 
> I hope everyone who endures the tragedy of divorce, especially from a cheating spouse, can find happiness. Not sure why I posted this, but it's how I'm feeling at the moment. My girl comes home tomorrow, so maybe I'm a bit excited. :smile2:


All great stuff @Cromer you really deserve it

Does the exictment have anything to do with "more tenderness (and sex) than ever"

55


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