# Classified as the abuser but she isnt quick to file for divorce. Why?



## Robbie123 (Nov 12, 2013)

My wife left me and called me a abuser. I was arrested and charge with assault on a family memeber. she went to a women shelter for three weeks and is now I assume living on her own with the help of the shelter. It has been two months and she still havent file for divorce yet. I have no contact with her at all but swhat gets me is since im considered the abuser shouldnt filling for divorce should be her first priority?


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## somethingnewmaybe (May 12, 2013)

No way, that would make HER the bad guy. She's a coward.


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## Finding Nemo (Oct 30, 2012)

Robbie123 said:


> My wife left me and called me a abuser. I was arrested and charge with assault on a family memeber. she went to a women shelter for three weeks and is now I assume living on her own with the help of the shelter. It has been two months and she still havent file for divorce yet. I have no contact with her at all but swhat gets me is since im considered the abuser shouldnt filling for divorce should be her first priority?


Sorry but I have to disagree. She isn't a coward because she hasn't filed. Her first priority is making sure that she is safe and secure. Her second priority is to make sure that she has shelter, food, water and clothing. Her third priority is to make sure that she takes advantage of the counseling services that will be available to her so that she can better wrap her head around what happened. Her last priority is dealing with divorce or anything outside of taking care of herself at the moment. It might take a few months before she is in a place to file for divorce. 

Can you tell me a bit more about what happened between the two of you? I may be able to answer some of the questions you are wanting answers to. I am 12 months into healing from a violence situation. My husband hit me and I sent him to jail. No questions asked. My husband is normally a very sweet, kind, gentle loving man, an awesome father to our daughter even but even the best of men can have a moment of weakness if presented with the right kind of stressful situation. 

My husband has chosen not to live with me for the past 12 months with no filing of divorce or legal separation. We are working through things and maybe one day when enough time and healing has taken place we can go back to being the happy family we once were. 

Have you been to court yet? Is there a restraining order between the two of you?


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## somethingnewmaybe (May 12, 2013)

Oh sorry I was under the presumption that the "abuse" was not legitimate. 

If it was, I can see how other things take precedence.


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