# Humorous Mother's Day cards for the WW



## old timer (Nov 23, 2012)

What "special" message would be in the card for your wayward wife?
(or OW for the gals?)

I pinched these from a couple of TAM regulars:



GutPunch said:


> Looking for Mothers Day cards is pretty tough.
> 
> I cannot find any "You're a shi**y wife and OK mother" cards.
> 
> ...





Bullwinkle said:


> I'm looking for one in a similar vein, maybe reads,
> "D and I were going to make you breakfast in bed but the guards wouldn't allow it."


Not making light of infidelity - humor is one just way we cope.

.


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## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

"To the mother of what could potentially be my children."


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## slater (Feb 3, 2012)

I am obligated to get you a card for the kids sake....here it is.

or

Happy Mother's Day! Let's keep the chirade alive for the kids another year!

or

For all the times you put yourself ahead of the kids and our family, Happy Mother's Day!

or

Until the kids are old enough to know who you really are, Happy Mother's Day.


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## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

"I had the mail man deliver this card for obvious reasons"


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## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

"I couldn't remember whos turn it was to get you a card, so here's one."


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## Robsia (Mar 11, 2013)

Well, as she is not your mother, the card is not from you, it is from your children. Therefore it should be an expression of love from the children to their mother and nothing else.

Other than perhaps stumping up the money and taking them to pick it out if they are not old enough to do it themselves, there should be no input from you at all.


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## The-Deceived (Jan 8, 2013)

Ovid said:


> "To the mother of what could potentially be my children."


:rofl:


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## GutPunch (Nov 2, 2012)

Robsia said:


> Well, as she is not your mother, the card is not from you, it is from your children. Therefore it should be an expression of love from the children to their mother and nothing else.
> 
> Other than perhaps stumping up the money and taking them to pick it out if they are not old enough to do it themselves, there should be no input from you at all.


I didn't get this one. Was this funny?


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## GutPunch (Nov 2, 2012)

My counselor thought I should get you this card.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Happy Mother's Day, M'Dear!! Wishing You Only the Very Best In Your Most Endearing Way of Dealing With All of Those Sordid "In and Out" Moments of Everyday Life!*


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## old timer (Nov 23, 2012)

Robsia said:


> Well, as she is not your mother, the card is not from you, it is from your children. Therefore it should be an expression of love from the children to their mother and nothing else.
> 
> Other than perhaps stumping up the money and taking them to pick it out if they are not old enough to do it themselves, there should be no input from you at all.


 
*hu·mor* n.

1. The quality that makes something laughable or amusing; funniness.
2. That which is intended to induce laughter or amusement: a writer skilled at crafting humor.
3. The ability to perceive, enjoy, or express what is amusing, comical, incongruous, or absurd. 

.


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## old timer (Nov 23, 2012)

EI said:


> Lova ya, OT, so how about you get this moved to the Social Spot forum?
> 
> Please and thank you......


How do I do that?

.


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## EI (Jun 12, 2012)

old timer said:


> How do I do that?
> 
> .


PM a moderator:

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/private.php?do=newpm&u=1


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## Robsia (Mar 11, 2013)

GutPunch said:


> I didn't get this one. Was this funny?


Um, no, it wasn't meant to be. Why would you buy your wife a Mother's Day card from you? Clue's in the title. You would buy your MOTHER a Mother's Day card.

Your wife's card is from the children. You only need to get involved if they are not old enough to do it themselves. I was pretty clear.

It's pretty disgusting of someone to use the kids to get at their wife.


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## Robsia (Mar 11, 2013)

old timer said:


> *hu·mor* n.
> 
> 1. The quality that makes something laughable or amusing; funniness.
> 2. That which is intended to induce laughter or amusement: a writer skilled at crafting humor.
> ...


So far I haven't laughed.


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

Robsia said:


> Um, no, it wasn't meant to be. Why would you buy your wife a Mother's Day card from you? Clue's in the title. You would buy your MOTHER a Mother's Day card.
> 
> Your wife's card is from the children. You only need to get involved if they are not old enough to do it themselves. I was pretty clear.
> 
> It's pretty disgusting of someone to use the kids to get at their wife.


I've always bought my wife a mothers day card, because she's the mother of my children... and nobody is suggesting you actually send these cards, relax....

Mine would say.. 

Happy Mothers Day.. You Mother....


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## old timer (Nov 23, 2012)

Robsia said:


> It's pretty disgusting of someone to use the kids to get at their wife.


Lighten up.

You've never seen the Greeting Card section at a big retail store? It always has a category "Happy Mother's Day From Husband". 

I routinely got my stbxw a Mother's Day card. No - she wasn't my mother, but she is a mother to my children and I wanted to recognize her on her special day.


.


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## Robsia (Mar 11, 2013)

old timer said:


> Lighten up.
> 
> You've never seen the Greeting Card section at a big retail store? It always has a category "Happy Mother's Day From Husband".
> 
> ...


No, I've never seen that. I still don't get it. Must be an American thing. Do you get them for your cat as well?


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## GutPunch (Nov 2, 2012)

Robsia said:


> Um, no, it wasn't meant to be. Why would you buy your wife a Mother's Day card from you? Clue's in the title. You would buy your MOTHER a Mother's Day card.
> 
> Your wife's card is from the children. You only need to get involved if they are not old enough to do it themselves. I was pretty clear.
> 
> It's pretty disgusting of someone to use the kids to get at their wife.


You do realize this is one big joke, don't you? 

I figured OT definition of humor would be the cue.

Definitely starting to worry me. :slap:


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## GutPunch (Nov 2, 2012)

Robsia said:


> No, I've never seen that. I still don't get it. Must be an American thing. Do you get them for your cat as well?


YES...but only if we own a cat.


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## sarcasmo (Feb 1, 2013)

Robsia said:


> So far I haven't laughed.


Must be that Brittish humor.


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## old timer (Nov 23, 2012)

Robsia said:


> No, I've never seen that. I still don't get it. Must be an American thing. Do you get them for your cat as well?


My cat is spayed.

.


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## sarcasmo (Feb 1, 2013)

"Roses are red, violets are blue.
your kids would like to know, who you were out with past 2."


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

Robsia said:


> No, I've never seen that. I still don't get it. Must be an American thing. Do you get them for your cat as well?


No, I got one for our dog once. She didn't appreciate it. It was ruff.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Happy Mother F'er...I mean, Happy B!itch Wh-re...

Gosh, I'm really sorry about that. It's almost like your having sex with another guy really pissed me off.

PS, the kids said they'd make you breakfast in bed, but I didn't feel like driving them to the motel.

Happy Mother's Day!!


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## LetDownNTX (Oct 4, 2012)

Robsia said:


> So far I haven't laughed.


Really? Do you not see the humor in kidding around about it? I mean do you really think any of us here would send such a card to their spouse from their children? NOT LIKELY but its funny to think about. Considering the damage that alot have done to their families.


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## Robsia (Mar 11, 2013)

LetDownNTX said:


> Considering the damage that alot have done to their families.


I guess that's why I don't find it funny. I find very little funny about my situation.


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## LetDownNTX (Oct 4, 2012)

Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying!


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## Robsia (Mar 11, 2013)

LetDownNTX said:


> Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying!


Maybe that part is still to come. For me, over here, Mother's Day was 10th March, 4 days after D-day. My memory of it is having to go out with my family and pretend everything was okay. My children made me cards.


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## old timer (Nov 23, 2012)

zillard said:


> Happy other's Day.
> 
> Beg if you want the *"M"* back.


.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

My HIV test came back negative.
But not the chlamydia one.

Happy Mother's Day you filthy $&@*


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## old timer (Nov 23, 2012)

Robsia said:


> Maybe that part is still to come....


Sorry to have scratched a raw nerve.

All these posts are from folks who have been in your shoes.

Does it bring us joy? Hell no. But we can find humor in it.

I hope and pray you'll get to the point of being able to laugh about it.

I think you will, eventually.

.


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## The-Deceived (Jan 8, 2013)

Robsia said:


> Um, no, it wasn't meant to be. Why would you buy your wife a Mother's Day card from you? Clue's in the title. You would buy your MOTHER a Mother's Day card.
> 
> Your wife's card is from the children. You only need to get involved if they are not old enough to do it themselves. I was pretty clear.
> 
> It's pretty disgusting of someone to use the kids to get at their wife.


Calm down.


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## The-Deceived (Jan 8, 2013)

SomedayDig said:


> Happy Mother F'er...I mean, Happy B!itch Wh-re...
> 
> Gosh, I'm really sorry about that. It's almost like your having sex with another guy really pissed me off.
> 
> ...


:rofl:


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## The-Deceived (Jan 8, 2013)

SomedayDig said:


> My HIV test came back negative.
> But not the chlamydia one.
> 
> Happy Mother's Day you filthy $&@*


LOL


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

SomedayDig said:


> My HIV test came back negative.
> But not the chlamydia one.
> 
> Happy Mother's Day you filthy $&@*


You are getting dark Dig...


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

The-Deceived said:


> LOL


Sad part is from my first wife...true f'ng story. Lucky for me there were no kids involved!!

But still a filthy $&@*



I can kinda laugh about that sh-t now.


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## The-Deceived (Jan 8, 2013)

warlock07 said:


> You are getting dark Dig...


His situation is dark...all of ours are.

I joke about my wh*ring stbxw all the time with my friends/colleagues. 

If you can laugh about it, you should.

Dark humor FTW.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

warlock07 said:


> You are getting dark Dig...


Totally messing around in a dark comedic way. Today is actually a really good day. Yesterday, not so much. Lost a good Brother from my Club when a cager turned left in front of him. DOA. Very sad yesterday. Much, much better today. Sunny and bright outside AND it's a golf league day


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## The-Deceived (Jan 8, 2013)

SomedayDig said:


> Sad part is from my first wife...true f'ng story. Lucky for me there were no kids involved!!
> 
> But still a filthy $&@*
> 
> ...


Damn. You've had 2 WW's?


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

*Re: Re: Humorous Mother's Day cards for the WW*



SomedayDig said:


> Sad part is from my first wife...true f'ng story. Lucky for me there were no kids involved!!
> 
> But still a filthy $&@*
> 
> ...


And that's how you know you're ok. You can laugh about something like this. I can laugh about my first wife and her exploits now. We never had children so no mothers day cards but I'd come up with a few nasty Valentines day card ideas for many years.


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## BjornFree (Aug 16, 2012)




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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

The-Deceived said:


> Damn. You've had 2 WW's?


Amazing ain't it?

Yes. My first wife had an affair for 6 months. She came to me and confessed. I told her I would give her a second chance, but that we would separate while working on reconciliation. Long story short, she told me she wanted to visit me and never showed. Went looking for her cuz I was worried and found her at the bar...armed draped over the OM's shoulder (I saw her car there and came in through the kitchen cuz I knew the owners).

Told her we needed to go outside to talk about it...she said no. I just stared at her. The OM turtled like the little b-tch he was when I slammed my ring on the bar really hard and then whispered to her, "Then you just married yourself a f'ng bar." I walked out. Never looked back.

See...I guess I believe in giving people a second chance. I think that's just a silly sort of grace I feel inside to do. However, don't f-ck it up, cuz that grace will be very short lived. As it was with her.





Ooooookay. Back to the fun!!


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

The WS's should get a card every day. I can see a special section in-store for cheaters under "Infidelity". And I can see a line of BS's out the door.

'Happy Cheaters Day"

Hmmm....that could get expensive.


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

LetDownNTX said:


> Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying!


I find at times it's easy to go from one right into the other.. and back.. like a lunatic..


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Happy Mother's Day, Dear!*


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## old timer (Nov 23, 2012)

SomedayDig said:


> PS, the kids said they'd make you breakfast in bed, but I didn't feel like driving them to the motel.


The winner so far, IMO. 
.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

(((bow)))


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

Robsia said:


> No, I've never seen that. I still don't get it. Must be an American thing. Do you get them for your cat as well?


Ha! Well, Hallmark is an American company 

Yes, the husband to wife section is quite large. It's to show appreciation for the mother of your children; your partner in raising the children.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

The-Deceived said:


> Damn. You've had 2 WW's?


It was like eating peanuts... once her started he just couldn't stop.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

arbitrator said:


> *Happy Mother's Day, Dear!*


Totally awesome.


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## ubercoolpanda (Sep 11, 2012)

This thread is hilarious!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SaltInWound (Jan 2, 2013)

Horizon said:


> I can see a special section in-store for cheaters under "Infidelity". And I can see a line of BS's out the door.


Laugh, but there actually is a small section for troubled relationships. Basically the typical "I messed up, forgive me" crap.


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## old timer (Nov 23, 2012)

SaltInWound said:


> Laugh, but there actually is a small section for troubled relationships. Basically the typical "I messed up, forgive me" crap.


"Forgive me hubs - I screwed your buds"

.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hortensia (Feb 1, 2013)

I'm with Robsia on this one. Mother's Day is not about YOUR relationship with your wife. It's about the kids relationship with her. They are supposed to give her a card, and gift/s. Optionally, you can give her something too, but if your heart's not in it, better don't. If you are going to make this day about her cheating or any other problems in your marriage, if you feel the need to call her names on the card ( like Happy Mother's Day you cheating wh0re )...then just don't give her anything. 
Remember this day is about Mothers and children. Not about husbands and wives. So leave your wife to your kids and go hug YOUR mother, buy her a gift and cherish her. This is HER day. 
Happy Mother's day everyone !


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## Hortensia (Feb 1, 2013)

arbitrator said:


> *Happy Mother's Day, Dear!*


Good one. But not for Mother's day. Would work better as a no special occasion card. Just send it to printing and make a card and slide it under her pillow or in her bag - it will give her chills on the spine, especially if you haven't confronted yet. 
But again, Mother's Day is not the right time to bring up your issues. It's about celebrating the birth of your children, their connection with their mom, and your connection with yours.
It is supposed to be a happy day. So postpone this great, sarcastic card for a better day


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Wow. Do some of ya's totally NOT get that this is supposed to be a humorous thread. It's not about Mother's Day in the least. It's about cracking jokes to alleviate some pain. Climb down from the high horse and just let people laugh. I guarantee in a month there will be a Father's Day thread. Where ya gonna be then?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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