# Anxiety around HS family, want to be happy...



## Bliss200 (Nov 21, 2013)

Hi,

I've posted in here before. 

I've been married for 4 years. Together 6 years.

I'm in my late 20's. 

I'll be honest. I don't have the best track record with guys. I was deeply in love with a guy before my hs. He moved to a different country. We stayed in touch and he never wanted to commit to me or be with me in a normal type of relationship. This lasted for about 3 1/2. He criticized me and said he's not interested to be with me seriously. I loved him. I wanted to be together, more than anything. 

I met my husband and I cut it off with him. 
The issue that cause me stress is my HS family. They are drinkers. Anytime he's with them in the evening he gets drunk. It's only his mom and dad. And they are old. And that is not ok.

We had many fights over this issue. He barely even drink anymore and visits them in the mornings. I don't go there anymore unless it's holidays or birthdays and every-time I do. I feel really bad. and feel a lot of anxiety and fear that he will get drunk.

I feel a lot of dislike towards his family and feel bad around them. I feel that I don't want to be around them. I feel bad.

Another issue that we have is sex. We're working on it. because I insisted on it. Another is that he's always complaining about everything and suffers from depressions and anxiety. He keeps saying that he wants to go back to school and scared that I'll trap him with kids and that he'll be unhappy and won't do what he wants to do. It really hurts my feelings.

One night 3 years back when he was still drinking. We had a huge fight. He got really drunk. Left and I was thinking to leave. I contacted my ex. It was a huge mistake.

I never met him. But I wanted to. I talked to him and was in touch with him. 

I'm sad and confused and want to be happy. I want to wake up and feel happy. 

My heart tells me that I belong with my ex. But he didn't want me and he's getting married anyway.

I have a home I like with my HS and some stability. As bad as it gets sometimes. It's still something I never had with anybody else. I'm afraid to be alone. I don't know what to do and considering separating from HS. 

I miss my ex. He was a friend that I could confide in. I miss his friendship and strength. I don't want to have fights with HS about his family and work issues.

What can I do to deal this anxiety and bad feeling around his family? and how to forget and overcome this feeling of love and belonging to my ex? My heart loves him.


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