# Advice on facilitating uncontested divorce



## Mo42 (Jul 25, 2013)

So, I have been on her the last few weeks about my wife and I-- most recently wife wants D, i want her back. 

I am going about my business, being in a good mood around her, doing some different things and told her i need her home sunday morning to go to church alone, blah blah blah. 

I take responsibility for my part in this marriage and what caused her to 'fall out of love' with me but she is convinced she needs to be on her own and I accept that. 

She is actually quite a mess about it. Her family, esp her brother and mother, are very upset and not being very kind. The one person who could really help her financially is her mother and she told her for the third time last night that she does not agree with this and not to expect any financial support. 

I have really been comforting her a lot since I came home sunday. We decided we need to both stay in the house due to abandoment laws and have been getting along better than ever ( i know this does not change anything, i told her we dont have anything to fight over). she has a job interview today and her mom was not very supportive to her last night, so I told her before I went to sleep on the couch, that tomorrow is going to be a better day for her, they are going to love her, etc. 

I am doing this to keep her amicable so we can just file and work out the details with me getting screwed as little as possible. (Plus i do love her and hate seeing her sad). 

So, anyway, I talked to a lawyer right away last Th. when she said in counseling she wants D. I have an appt with him Friday to go over some things and W is asking if we can meet with him together to work out things and just have him file. There are a lot of details we have not talked about yet, but the main things--shared custody with kids and I stay in the house-- she is for. 
My lawyer says he will tell her she is representing me and he will try to help us work out the details (possible child support while she works part time and goes to school, buyout her interest in house, figuring out her contribution to child related expenses and so on)

Any advice or thoughts going into this process are really appreciated.


----------



## ne9907 (Jul 17, 2013)

The best thing about this is that your wife wants what you want. Keep it that way and the divorce should be uncontested. 
Good luck


----------



## gigi888 (Oct 6, 2013)

You seem like a nice and smart man. Yes, it is in your best interest to be nice to each other. If this gets nasty, the lawyers are the one getting rich and neither one of you win.


----------



## terrence4159 (Feb 3, 2013)

it happens, me and my ex wife did the same. we had a 9month old son and i gave the lawyer 500 bucks he drew up papers and boom 2 weeks later we were divorced with 50/50 custody and 0 child support.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

It's not fair for you to have a lawyer who represents you. And your wife has no one who represents her.

It would be more fair if you went to a mediator who is not loyal to only one of you.


----------



## terrence4159 (Feb 3, 2013)

if they both agree with one plan and have the lawyer right up the papers and both sign whats wrong with that??


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

terrence4159 said:


> if they both agree with one plan and have the lawyer right up the papers and both sign whats wrong with that??


He has a lawyer who is looking out for his rights. Here’s is the OP said…….



Mo42 said:


> My lawyer says he will tell her she is representing me and he will try to help us work out the details


Since the lawyer is representing Mo and not his wife, the lawyer will be looking out only for Mo’s best interested.. as in will be glad to screw over his wife.

If his wife were my friend or family member, my advice to her would be to either push for a mediator or have an attorney look over the agreement before signing it to make sure that her rights are protected.

What is wrong with his wife having someone who represents her look over the agreement?

What’s wrong with her insisting on using a mediator who supports both of them instead of using a lawyer who represents only him?


----------



## Tron (Jan 31, 2013)

Ele,

No offense, but if his STBXW is foolish enough to agree with his attorney representing "them both" then by all means the OP should take advantage of it.

It will be cheaper for them both in the long run and he may get one over on her in the process...if he so chooses. If the OP chooses to be fair about everything in the D then he can walk away with a clear conscience and they both benefit and have a few extra dollars in their pocket at the end of the day.


----------

