# Do husband really tend to lie?



## gemini_queen (Dec 9, 2021)

a newbie in this forum. but want to get others’ opinion. been on 6 yrs of marriage. question is, do husbands really tend to lie like when they wud say they’re on their way home but found out drinking with his friends (2 botts but really not 2 botts though)? is this really normal?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

gemini_queen said:


> a newbie in this forum. but want to get others’ opinion. been on 6 yrs of marriage. question is, do husbands really tend to lie like when they wud say they’re on their way home but found out drinking with his friends (2 botts but really not 2 botts though)? is this really normal?


Your husband's lies. That doesn't mean that all men lie.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

gemini_queen said:


> a newbie in this forum. but want to get others’ opinion. been on 6 yrs of marriage. question is, do husbands really tend to lie like when they wud say they’re on their way home but found out drinking with his friends (2 botts but really not 2 botts though)? is this really normal?


It is normal for someone that is trying to hide something. A husband lying about where he is and what he is doing so he can stay away from his wife is not proper behavior. 

If I wanted to go out for drinks with friends I would just say it. Question for you. If your husband said he was going to get a couple beers after work with friends, what would your response be? I'm not saying he is right to be lying, but could it be because he feels like he has to in order to have some time for himself?


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## gemini_queen (Dec 9, 2021)

BigDaddyNY said:


> It is normal for someone that is trying to hide something. A husband lying about where he is and what he is doing so he can stay away from his wife is not proper behavior.
> 
> If I wanted to go out for drinks with friends I would just say it. Question for you. If your husband said he was going to get a couple beers after work with friends, what would your response be? I'm not saying he is right to be lying, but could it be because he feels like he has to in order to have some time for himself?


i dont have any response because he’s not even saying he’s drinking with friends. he’ll just tell me there has been an extended work activity, etc. but he’ll come home late and u wud know he drank ‘coz he stinks. i cant understand why there’s an issue with him in telling the truth.


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## gemini_queen (Dec 9, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> Your husband's lies. That doesn't mean that all men lie.


i know not all men. but this is the reason i’m asking here if its really normal in a married life. bec some men can inform their wife if they wud go home late just bec. they have to get some drink or what.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

gemini_queen said:


> i dont have any response because he’s not even saying he’s drinking with friends. he’ll just tell me there has been an extended work activity, etc. but he’ll come home late and u wud know he drank ‘coz he stinks. i cant understand why there’s an issue with him in telling the truth.


So he just automatically lies about it, never has told you he's going out? That is weird. You've been married 6 years, has he always been like that? Have you confronted him and told him to just tell you what he is doing?


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

gemini_queen said:


> i know not all men. but this is the reason i’m asking here if its really normal in a married life. bec some men can inform their wife if they wud go home late just bec. they have to get some drink or what.


Its not normal married life. I don't tell my wife I'm doing one thing then go do another. Lying shouldn't be a regular part of a marriage.


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## gemini_queen (Dec 9, 2021)

BigDaddyNY said:


> So he just automatically lies about it, never has told you he's going out? That is weird. You've been married 6 years, has he always been like that? Have you confronted him and told him to just tell you what he is doing?


yes. and sometimes he’s the one getting upset when i got mad because he lied. he wud tell me he’s not doing anything wrong so why wud i get mad? he told me to get mad if he’s really doing something wrong. but isn’t lying already wrong?


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

Are you in the Philippines? 🤔


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

It’s a cultural thing really especially in the Southern Islands. A lot of Filipino men still subscribe to the macho culture male dominance.


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## gr8ful1 (Dec 3, 2016)

Yes. All husbands lie 🙄


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

People are fallible. I think everyone, at some point, has stretched the truth a bit. The example you give is not that.

Its not normal. It’s disrespectful and wrong. And he’s bullying you by telling you what you are and aren’t allowed to get upset about.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

Husbands / men in general or women for that matter don't tend to lie. It's not a universal stereotype. 

However, alcoholics lie about that all the time. They can't have one drink but will say anything not to have to face the consequences. 

Another aspect could be your reaction. If he says he's going to stop off for a drink with the boys & you shriek & carry on he will lie to you about it. If you say OK fine, have fun, please be home in a hour for dinner & to kiss the kids goodnight you may get more honesty about his ETA. 

Here him not understanding that you are upset about the lie is a bit of gaslighting. Ask him to tell the truth & then don't say anything about how he stinks when he gets home. See if that stops the lying. Do be cautious about him drinking & driving though. That is a whole other problem.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

gemini_queen said:


> yes. and sometimes he’s the one getting upset when i got mad because he lied. he wud tell me he’s not doing anything wrong so why wud i get mad? he told me to get mad if he’s really doing something wrong. but isn’t lying already wrong?


Ask him if he isn't doing anything wrong then why bother to lie about it?


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## Jamieboy (Jan 14, 2021)

I think a man understating how much he's had to drink is like a woman telling the truth about how many sexual partners she's had.

Both are numbers which are to be divided by a constant 🤣


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## Pip’sJourney (Mar 17, 2021)

There should be NO LIES in your marriage.. either from you or him


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## Beach123 (Dec 6, 2017)

gemini_queen said:


> yes. and sometimes he’s the one getting upset when i got mad because he lied. he wud tell me he’s not doing anything wrong so why wud i get mad? he told me to get mad if he’s really doing something wrong. but isn’t lying already wrong?


Why are you still with this liar that treats you terribly when you’re honest about your feelings?
Why haven’t you divorced him?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

gemini_queen said:


> i know not all men. but this is the reason i’m asking here if its really normal in a married life. bec some men can inform their wife if they wud go home late just bec. they have to get some drink or what.


Not in a good marriage no.


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## Jamieboy (Jan 14, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> Not in a good marriage no.


So you've never told even the smallest porkie in your entire marriage?


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Jamieboy said:


> So you've never told even the smallest porkie in your entire marriage?


That isn't what is being discussed here. Everyone will tell a little white lie at some point. What the OP is dealing with is the husband habitually lying about where he is and what he is doing. Who knows, he could be lying about who he is with too.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Jamieboy said:


> So you've never told even the smallest porkie in your entire marriage?


Not that I am aware of.


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