# Is this just a pity?



## Linguist (Nov 24, 2012)

She left, moved in with friends, exchanges not paying rent for feeding farm animals, shared custody of DD, is on all the dating ites, lies about silly things but seems unaware, no interest in R. But says things like "do you know what my life is like?" implying how hard it is. Works part time and is on sTate assistance. Started crying and I just said, what are you crying about, you got what you wanted, what's the problem. I couldn't understand other than just feeling sorry for herself. 

She goes out to expensive restaurants but mAybe she doesn't pay, complains about money but doesn't want to work. Her priority is dating and immediate gratification, super insecure and after reading her dating profile which reads like a 20 year old "I love clothes, going out, loud music in the car only if I like the song" blah blah I'm like, immature? Is this post high school? 

Why is she upset other than just feeling bad for herself? Only conclusions can see. I'm pissed about the impact on my dd and the lies, which seems totally unaware of

I'm tempted for sole custody but I feel it might not be necessary or the best thing for everyone even though her priorities seem only to be romance and going out


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## 06Daddio08 (Jul 26, 2012)

Why does it matter?

Focus on you and your daughter.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

You have no control over what she does (or doesn't do). Plow your own field. Focus on areas you have control over. You can be pissed, frustrated, or resentful but what would that add to your life or your child's? She can choose to regress to her teen years but you don't have to join her. It'd be handy if your child has at least one responsible adult for a parent.


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

Go for sole custody ONLY if it is TRULY in the BEST INTEREST of your daughter.

Consider yourself well-rid.
Sweep up YOUR little corner of the world.
Whistle a happy tune.


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## Linguist (Nov 24, 2012)

Thanks all

I'm just trying to understand wtf her plan is. So far she plans on living with friends nearly twice her age, working as little as possible, and the only priority is meeting someone new even though she says life is so hard as it is? Adding a new romance is the best idea! 

Well my dd and I are great and I'm doing wonderfully well as a single dad, I guess my Stbx was always his selfish, just as blatant about it. But w/e I would be making a serious plan that did not include making a lateral move into someone else's house which is the only thing I imagine she must be anticipating since she could never live on her own

But like the above says, who cares, I'll just be moving on with my world which is all positive except for my ex. I had hoped we could be sociable but whats the point being associating with a liar. Nothing's real, it's all a charade


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## 06Daddio08 (Jul 26, 2012)

Linguist said:


> Thanks all
> 
> *I'm just trying to understand wtf her plan is*. So far she plans on *living with friends nearly twice her age*, *working as little as possible*, and the *only priority is meeting someone new* even though she says life is so hard as it is? *Adding a new romance is the best idea! *
> 
> ...


You say you are just going to 'move on'.

Yet.

A lot of what you wrote suffocates it.

Don't 'say' you are moving on.

Really work on moving on.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

We have an irresponsible, immature, selfish nut job apparently looking for someone to exploit. If she were exploiting you would it improve your life? Be glad she's someone else's problem. If you feel the need to share your life with a female, wouldn't you be better served with a responsible adult partner? Doesn't sound like she's taking anything with her that you could really benefit from.


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## Linguist (Nov 24, 2012)

You're both right. Moving forward requires some time to fully recover

Yes, I am thrilled the choices I have made let me provide for a good life for me and my family. Meeting women isn't that hard, meeting the right woman is. And yes, like my therapist said, try dating a woman instead of a girl. I don't envy anyone who ends up on the receiving end of her selfishness. My daughter needs a strong reliable father, and she has it. It shows too

I guess my astonishment is such that, I could never do that, especially now that I have a dd. my sense of self and happieness is very influenced on how well I secure my present and future for me and my little girl. It's number one, making sure I can give her what she needs emotionally, in leadership and by example, and financially as well as fun.

I bought tickets to a play for my Inlaws and ex and dd to go, as a gesture for my dd to see her parents spend time together with her. After the play, my inlaws took us to a top notch restaurant, my ex starts talking about the dates she has been on there, what food is good there, and the staff act like she is a regular. I proptly gave my dd hugs and kisses, passed on dinner and excused myself. My mil understood what happened but Stbx had no idea what the issue was. How thick can you get duuuuuh


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