# Can't take his laziness, lying and lack of motivation



## wits.end (Mar 16, 2009)

I'll start by saying that we have been together/married for about 5 years and have 2 kids. After the second child we agreed that I would quit my job and be a stay-at-home mom.

It started when I received a decent sum of money and gave my new husband $2,000 of it to put in his savings account towards our down payment on a first home since I didn't have a savings. He had overdraft protection (didn't tell me that) and with his carelessness lost everything I gave him and overdrew his account by over a thousand dollars.

We have been cited by the city for our lawn being overgrown because he won't mow it. I can't because I have a small child that doesn't nap, and I can't take him outside with me near a dangerous mower.

This man does nothing but sleep. I have to violently shake him awake every morning and make sure he goes to work. I have to wake him up repeatedly because he lays back down and falls asleep again. He has no medical problem. He's been checked out. He falls asleep when he's supposed to watching the children when I have doctor appointments. It's dangerous.

I have begged him to set aside just one day a month to have family time. He won't do it. It's not like he can't plan a day off work. He has a flexible schedule. 

When he isn't sleeping he's looking at nonsense on the internet. He has actually neglected to feed the children because he was on the internet. He looks at videos of cars, reads jokes, nothing at all important.

He just recently lost his job at work because of his laziness. He gave someone his managers access code because he was too lazy to walk across the building to do the task himself. Now we have no health insurance and we have lost our main source of income. He does work off and on with his father but that is hardly enough to support our family of four and a mortgage.

Recently I found out he has been lying to me about lots of stupid things. He lied about throwing a bag of dog poo I cleaned out of the backyard across the lawn instead of taking it down to the trash. We had poo all across our front yard. He lied to me about telling his parents he lost his job. How is he supposed to get extra work if his father doesn't know?

I want to leave him but I haven't been employed for a few years and with the recession I have little to no chance of getting a job. I have no formal education. None of my family is in any place to take me and the kids in. With daycare costs any job I could get wouldn't even cover the cost of childcare. Not to mention our bills.

I can't take the lying and we're about to lose our house! Even our kids ask why daddy does nothing but sleep. Or why he makes empty promises about going places and never follows through. He's sucking us into his downward spiral and I don't want my kids to be affected. I can't trust him with them. What should I do?


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## mommydrgnfly (Apr 29, 2009)

i will responde to your post.. but first making sure u still get on?


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## Saniqua (Apr 30, 2009)

Hi, I'm in a similar situation. Not as bad as yours but my husband won't work or study for his nursing exam. So I feel your pain. I have 2 suggestions for you, I hope one of them can work for you. First, is it possible you can go back to school for something? I'm an RN, which takes about 2 years. But it's only 1 year to become an LPN. I don't know what state you're in but they make at least $24/hr in most places. You can take out loans, most schools aren't too expensive for LPN. If you can't do a year, look into anything within the medical field. Medical transcription is less than a year and you can work from home. There is money in medical and it's not usually affected by recession. You'll have enough money to leave and support your family by yourself. The second option is probably the hardest. Try to convince him to go for counseling. Try to get to the bottom of his laziness and lack of motivation. I hope this helps you at least a little bit and I wish you the best of luck.


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