# How to fix it.... &#x1f61e;



## Kcjc2014 (May 6, 2018)

I have been married for 3 years, and have already separated once for 3 months. During the first 6 months of dating I was blown away by how caring, supportive, and amazing my husband was. I refused to date for a lonnnng time because I had a lot of personal issues and was trying to get my life together. When I gave in my husband just moved in. It did help financially but we fought a lot. He slowly showed his true self.his grandparents spoiled him and he had zero life skills. I can give him that he will work. But thats about it. I handle every other part of life.. EXCEPT his part of money. I work of course and have been on my own since 16. Bills and groceries I have to beg or just take his debit card to pay them on time. Cleaning and laundry is a fight almost daily. I have to get him out of bed for work, remind him to shower, and brush his teeth. After 3 years its getting old. 

All that aside, I am more of a friend than a wife or thats how I feel anyways. Ive never had a wedding ring, my parents paid for everything for the tiny JOP wedding. No honeymoon. Nothing. Birthdays, christmas, anniversaries, mothers day, valentines day there isnt an effort at all unless I do something first. And what I get is basically the same thing I get him. 

I am CONSTANTLY being guilted into large items he wants. 1700$ rims, multiple tvs, gaming systems, shoes, 50$ hats, 3 cars I didnt want and we could NOT afford. But yet everything is his ALL the time. I cant drive the car without his approval. If bills are behind its my phone that doesn't get paid. Down to cigarettes we smoke. We also have a lil side gig selling stuff online. I fo all the work but i cant remember the last time I had any of the money from that. 

All of that aside....emotionally there is ZERO support for my dreams or wants.we currently work together and I am not allowed to get another job because he doesn't want to share the car. Our families are completely separated. His parents have never really made an effort to build a relationship and the few times I've tried i get treated like i just came in and robbed their house or something. 
I feel zero security with him. If i don't make things happen we will literally be homeless. Which has happened. 
I constantly catch him watching porn right next to me. We are only 24 and 25 and we have less sex than even my parents do. 
We don't have any friends at all. The few we have had tell me all Jason has to say is about how bad of a wife i am. Even to my friends. Never does he explain why i get upset. Or his part of. OUR issues

In the beginning i did have a really bad drinking problem and was even violent at times.but i went to rehab (while i was there he was cheating on me) and i haven't been violent in 2 years. So now thats his validation for his behavior. 

What if anything can I do before Im fprced to leave again????


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## Betrayedone (Jan 1, 2014)

You're toast......time to bail. Women, IN GENERAL, are more mature than men at an equivalent age. The MAJOR thing that you have working against you is that he has had extremely poor upbringing. Entitled. This is SO prevalent in today's youth. There is no fixing this. Cut your losses and move on.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

If you mean is there anything you can do to transform him into a mature, responsible, self-supporting adult? No. There isn't anything you can do. 

What you can do is save yourself, save your sanity and dignity and eventually restore your own credit rating. 

Get a good attorney now before he racks up any more debt that will also become your debt.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

He's a user and you enabled him. Time to move on.


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## SA2017 (Dec 27, 2016)

you are dealing with a big time user and parasite ! GET OUT NOW, better yet -yesterday! 
sell all the cars and all the big stuff which actually belongs to you and move out without announcing or telling him. plan, prepare and leave , and never look back.


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