# OMG what do I do with this!!



## kennebraska (Jul 21, 2009)

Hello, don;t have anyone to talk to about this so I will ask for comments advice, well anything. I'm at a total loss about what to do. 

I have been married for 19 years. we have two children ages 16 and 11. One week ago at dinner my wife looks at me and says. 

" Here is what I want. I think you're a great guy and I want to be your friend, I don't want to be divorced from you. But I don't want any intimate relationship with you or anybody ever. I never want any physical relationship again" 

She works part time. I gave her a new car 3 weeks ago. i am stunned. I asked the usual questions i guess. Are you having an affair. Do you want a divorce. 

So she clarified it. She wants to be married to me but that we will never have sex again. i'm 42. I'm pretty sure that's not going to work for me. I am totally at a loss. 


Any ideas HELP anything


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

there's (obviously) more to this than meets the eye. hey, it's human nature to want/crave sex. it's how we're set up. how 'bout this: ask her under what circumstances would she want/crave sex.

another thought. has she "caught" you with pornography? this can be a huge turn-off for some women, maybe she suspects you of something. EA, PA, any of the garden variety of "ophilia's" that exist. man, i don't know. i'm just throwing ideas.


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## goatz (Jul 21, 2009)

Avoid her and make her think you're cheating but have alibis, and find a F buddy if it keeps going on. Its not really cheating if there is no game to cheat at.


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## IfYouSaySo (Jun 24, 2009)

I don't get it either and I'm a woman =S

Maybe she's emotionally involved elsewhere? Did she ever have issues with being physical before? Low libido...? I hate to even think this let alone put it down here but....any chance she has been physically violated and keeping it to herself?


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## goatz (Jul 21, 2009)

The rape thing crossed my mind too I just didn't want to start anything.


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## D8zed (Mar 12, 2009)

Just curious - what does giving her a car 3 weeks ago have to do with having sex? Sounds like there may be a covert contract at work here - "I will give you this and in return you will give me this".


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## 1nurse (Jan 21, 2009)

Technically you can divorce her for alienation of affection. My guess is you don't want to do that or you wouldn't have taken the time to write about your story here. Staying in a sexless marriage is sad. Don't really know what to tell you. I guess it's your decision. Boy I know the rejection I'd be feeling would be awful hearing someone I love say that to me. Good Luck. 
((HUGS))


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## goatz (Jul 21, 2009)

Did you ask her if you would still have to be monogamous? Just asking, not saying you would, but her answer may tell you a little bit more of how she is feeling and what direction she is taking.


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