# How often do you have sex in your marriage?



## CTho76 (Jul 30, 2010)

I'm probably not doing this "poll" thing the right way so I want to ask a question. This section talks a lot about sexless relationships, but obviously different people have different ideas of what's enough (as every couple will).

How often do you have sex in your marriage?
-once a day
-a few days a week
-once a week
-once a month
-once a year


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

For us , it is a catch between a few times a week to once a day. And we are in our mid 40's. But used to be a steady once a week for 20 yrs of our marraige. So much better now. We've learned about about communicating our needs and spicing to come to this place.


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## Willow (Jun 17, 2010)

Ours is most days, averages 4 to 6 times a week. That's changed recently, we had a few years after the kids arrived where it was maybe once or twice a week. 
We're most likely to skip a week day, but will often make up for that with am and pm sessions on weekend days.

Does a blow job count as sex? Interested in others replies, I would say yes my H would be a bit of a Bill and say no!


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

2 times a month and it isnt worth it anymore, boring


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Willow said:


> Does a blow job count as sex? Interested in others replies, I would say yes my H would be a bit of a Bill and say no!


 I accually keep a sex calendar, am interested in seeing how long this passion can last , with us being older. I count any session WITH AN ORGASM as "sex"- including Bj's. I always make sure he gets treated to at least 1 while I am on my monthly - I want to feel his release. All other times, I want mine too & we prefer to "go together". So Bj's are mostly forplay for us. 

Many times, I give him more attention than he needs - BJ activity just for pleasure, but not ending in a release. 
We don't count those times at all, or I would he saying we had "sex" 12 times a week or so. 

*We count by the "orgasms". *I ALWAYS get mine. Since I basically wear him out, there are times where he doesn't get his (maybe once a month)-but chooses to wait till the next day -for heightened desire.


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## goincrazy (Feb 20, 2010)

okeydokie said:


> 2 times a month and it isnt worth it anymore, boring


Ditto for me! Not exactly what I was hoping for at age 32.


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## AJoutWest (Jul 30, 2010)

Once a year, it's actually been 1 year, 1 month and 8 days but who is counting . . . .


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## quercus.robur (Aug 1, 2010)

AJoutWest said:


> Once a year, it's actually been 1 year, 1 month and 8 days but who is counting . . . .


15 months and counting:-(


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## dyskinesia (Jun 29, 2010)

Almost, but not quite, every day. It took a few years, but my wife has learned to humor me.


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## unloved (Feb 17, 2010)

Around 3 xs/week for the last 5 months. Before that we didn't have sex at all for 6 yrs.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

unloved said:


> Around 3 xs/week for the last 5 months. Before that we didn't have sex at all for 6 yrs.


what changed???


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## Enamored (Dec 25, 2009)

once every 2-3 months...if i insist too much..
now it feels it is not worth the effort :-(


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## unloved (Feb 17, 2010)

okeydokie said:


> what changed???


I've been thinking about recounting my story for others who are in a similar situation so that they may have some hope that a sexless marriage can change. 

But thinking back on it, while I may have done some things to help turn it around, ultimately it was his decision to let go of the hurt and resentment. I may have helped that along with some of my actions but, really, I have no magic bullet.

I'm still in wait and see mode. Once you've been shut out in the sex and intimacy dept. for so long, it's hard not to be skeptical that things have changed for good. I'm giving it a year before I declare our marriage back on track. And every three months I plan on stepping back and making sure my actions don't contribute to a backslide - it's really easy to fall back into the same selfish, hurtful pattern.

So far so good


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

unloved said:


> I've been thinking about recounting my story for others who are in a similar situation so that they may have some hope that a sexless marriage can change.
> 
> But thinking back on it, while I may have done some things to help turn it around, ultimately it was his decision to let go of the hurt and resentment. I may have helped that along with some of my actions but, really, I have no magic bullet.
> 
> ...



i understand, my wife and i hit a hot streak for a couple of months about a year and a half ago. she was horny and aggressive. i tried to think of what was different in our relationship or what i may be doing to increase her sex drive. ultimately i couldnt figure it out and it didnt last, we soon fell back into the norm.


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## Crypsys (Apr 22, 2010)

About every 2 - 3 days. We are in our mid 30's with 3 (soon to be 4) kids. So don't think just because you have kids your sex life has to dry up!!!


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## PoppyRivera (Jul 11, 2010)

*We have not had sex in 9 months. I could have had a baby (NOT). He makes really lame *bleep* excuses. Let me explain his first favorite excuse. We have a FIFTEEN year old son. He's a giant lazy child of sorts. I don't mean lazy like normal lazy, I mean personal space, personal hygiene and care lazy. Two years ago, we're all leaving out the door to get groceries. This boy had the audacity to seriously ask me to tie his shoe. . . Needing to make sure before I cursed him out, I asked him if he was serious. He said yes, no smirk, no glint in his eye and he sat there. I wanted to swing my purse upside his head.

My husband doesn't want to have sex with him in the house. What kind of excuse is that?! This coming from a man who had sex with me while our child was in the bed next to ours at a hotel we stayed at while we were waiting on our house to be move in ready, People do have sex when their kids still live at home, that's why some of them have SIBLINGS! His did.

Part B-we don't have money to get a room. . .that is because we PAY RENT!

He has become so unaffectionate and has no passion for anything except beer and being mean.*


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## Mrs H (Aug 2, 2010)

Once a week if I am lucky! We have two young children, another on the way, a dog and a very busy business to run. My husband is tired all the time and I am a sex pest! By bedtime he is good for nothing bless him.


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## Crypsys (Apr 22, 2010)

PoppyRivera said:


> My husband doesn't want to have sex with him in the house. What kind of excuse is that?! This coming from a man who had sex with me_* while our child was in the bed next to ours*_ at a hotel we stayed at while we were waiting on our house to be move in ready, People do have sex when their kids still live at home, that's why some of them have SIBLINGS! His did.


Yeah, he really needs to work on that. Our family just got back from a 1 week vacation to California. Our bedroom didn't have a lock on the door. So we were intimate late at night and in the morning. Once, during the middle of the day we both really were horny. So we went into the bathroom and locked the door. I'll admit having kids pounding on the door wanting to go to the restroom made us laugh right in the middle. It's things like that though that keep a sex life spicy and fun!!


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## Rags (Aug 2, 2010)

Umm ... Every day. It didn't used to be like that - but my wife made herself a new-years resolution (cos I always had a higher drive than her, I was usually initiating, and felt rejected at times, etc ...) so she decided to change things.

Like SA, we only count it where at least one of us manages to orgasm. I pretty much always do. Sometimes she is happy not to, but enjoys the intimacy anyway (at least she tells me so - I prefer it when she orgasms too, but sometime she tells me it isn't going to happen, and just to enjoy it...)
It might be a BJ, but usually is normal sex.

I know that I my wife is a very special person.


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## Mr B (Feb 6, 2009)

You should have had a check box for "never"


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## franklinfx (Apr 7, 2009)

okeydokie said:


> 2 times a month and it isnt worth it anymore, boring


 Same here, my wife is terrible in bed, and cant give a BJ to save her life, so I havent even asked for one in years. On the other hand, I give her oral every time until she cums, and then we only do it missionary:sleeping: cause thats all she likes, and she pouts if I try a different position. another thing that frustrates me is she cant seem to spread her legs wide enough for me to get all the way in, and Im not fat at all. Funny thing is, she moans really load during sex, and screams during gasms, she says our sex is "phenomenal":rofl: but I think shes FOS, If its so freakin great, why do we only do it 1-2 Xs a month:scratchhead: God I miss good sex


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## stumblealong (Jun 30, 2010)

Yep, once or twice a mo. My man drinks--ALOT. So just let me say limp biskit!!!:sleeping: He enjoys wrapping me up like a pretzel w/ my ankles behind my head and hold me that way while he tries to keep ol' limpy goin'! Fun times to be had by all!


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

stumblealong said:


> Yep, once or twice a mo. My man drinks--ALOT. So just let me say limp biskit!!!:sleeping: He enjoys wrapping me up like a pretzel w/ my ankles behind my head and hold me that way while he tries to keep ol' limpy goin'! Fun times to be had by all!


:lol:


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## AmorousWarrior (Jul 6, 2010)

2-3 times a month but we are working on upping that. We will see...


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## Dave321 (Aug 4, 2010)

Well we are in 40s 50s 2-5 week.Some times no sex for a week.Or we do the weekend solider thing 2-3 day or 2 time day for 2-3hrs :iagree:each.We had six children.


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

About every other day here. We are military though, and with deployments/schools/FTX's and stuff, sometimes we have to go for a really long time without, so we make use of what time we DO have.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

stumblealong said:


> Yep, once or twice a mo. My man drinks--ALOT. So just let me say limp biskit!!!:sleeping: He enjoys wrapping me up like a pretzel w/ my ankles behind my head and hold me that way while he tries to keep ol' limpy goin'! Fun times to be had by all!


I am now stuck with that image in my mind for the rest of the day.

Part of it grosses me out, the other intrigues me.


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

Once a week, as long as you count the weeks that we miss. I am the stereotypical unhappy unsatisfied husband and I have shared my dissatisfaction in no uncertain terms, for all the good it does.


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## ThinkTooMuch (Aug 6, 2010)

Willow said:


> Ours is most days, averages 4 to 6 times a week. That's changed recently, we had a few years after the kids arrived where it was maybe once or twice a week.
> We're most likely to skip a week day, but will often make up for that with am and pm sessions on weekend days.
> 
> Does a blow job count as sex? Interested in others replies, I would say yes my H would be a bit of a Bill and say no!


I agree with your husband, a BJ is good, very good, intercourse is better, though I will do more experiments just to be sure.

We're down to 1 BJ a week at best, we haven't had intercourse in two years despite my complaints. Wife says she is too dry, it hurts and doesn't like lubricants. She also doesn't like my tongue. AAARGH! And she won't discuss this with her gynecologist. I can no longer believe she loves despite her words, words that are easy to say out of habit, words not backed by deeds.

Despite being 61 on the calendar, my brain, a male's largest sex organ, is 17, other key parts don't seem much older.

I will be leaving soon, between the lack of physical and emotional intimacy, I can't stay much longer.

Wife knows this, has told me to find a lover in a sarcastic way, strongly implying I won't. I know she is very wrong, even if she's right, I have to try. 

As I just told my little sister, in all but shared parents, if I were to measure myself by the love I receive from friends and family, I'm 7' tall.


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## Marcos (Aug 6, 2010)

In my situation, we do it in average once a week. This past weekend 2 times but one day was my b-day so b-day sex is a must so it don't count. But we we have other issue, we are not really together, at least emotional. But with sex, its so good for both of us, its fun but I can't understand why she won't want to do it all the time. It has to do probably because she trys to fight the fact that she does love it but since she has this emotional wall, it bothers her to feel like she is giving in to me.


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## MWife (Aug 19, 2010)

My husband sometimes refuses ME for sex...Which pisses me off, especially since I give it to him when HE wants it! Definitely not fair! But I do have to admit, we have a pretty good sex life. Even after having a baby.


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## L0st (Aug 19, 2010)

Once a week or every other week :-(


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## Petra80 (Apr 10, 2012)

Once a week


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Dead Thread Much?


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## Aristotle (Apr 4, 2012)

Morning and night, each day. Not always "sex" but oral, anal, vagina. We switch up. 

It has been like this for the last 4 1/2 months (maybe 2 days we only had intercourse of some kind once rather than twice), before that it was 3-4 times a week.


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## Aristotle (Apr 4, 2012)

Oops, didn't realize this was a older thread.


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## dormant (Apr 3, 2012)

Sex. . . What's that?


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

My wife and I have been married for almost 7 years now and in the first few years it was at least 3 times a week we had sex, then it got to a point of being once a month after like 4 years of marriage, and now it's only happening about once every 3-4 months and we actually have to setup a time and day of when to do it. I am very saddened & worried about this but yet other couples who have been married much much longer have labeled it as being - "normal".

P.S. I am brand new to this site but so far I have been finding it very helpful.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

Three to five times a week for us. Usually five.


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## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

2- 3 times a week sex but i go down on her like 4 or more times a week and get bj allot. 

id like to have sex everyday and several times a day but she is not always in the mood for that. I cant understand a woman's sexuality how could you not want it several times a day? all the time?

I can finish than be ready again in 2 minutes


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## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

I think sex is very important from what i have seen on here the people who have been together for like 30+ years all deeply in love seem to have sex all the time.

If you are not getting sex frequently and both are not into it there is a problem. You dont have the "true love" (imo) you need passion, intimacy, and commitment for the true love to exist. Sadly many marriages seem to be intimacy, passion based than fail cause lack of commitment, or sometimes even worse is long term relationships that are just based on commitment and intimacy, meaning they are committed and will have sex with their partner but there exist no passion and that is how you get a partner not wanting sex frequently or at all they dont feel in love or feel it.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

3-5x a week... in my head I'd love to jump him every day but some days life gets in the way. I very rarely say no and I'm not sure he ever has turned me down... We've been together 25 years.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

About 5 times a week. She never refuses me and I never refuse her. Dang she's hot! 25 years and going strong! Yes, I am boasting. So sue me.


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