# What would you do...



## dtdavies07 (Apr 26, 2011)

If you have read my other post or have not please read it before answering this question...

If your wife was caught cheating (she never was) and she left you for the other man would you let her back if she realized her mistakes?

I know for a fact she talks to other men, but she is an attention hog and told me she does not want sex cause she hates bodily fluids and she would rather be a homosexual than be with another man. (but she is pure blooded homophobes) 
I mean I would take her back once she found what she lost am I wrong for that? 
I can forgive for anything that happened, and if issues did hurt I would discuss them over with my counselor... 
Also she has not mentioned coming back I was just wondering...


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## dtdavies07 (Apr 26, 2011)

Ohh I think this would also help in this topic... 
She also has told me I am not attractive to her anymore...
So recently I have been losing alot of weight and watching what I eat...
I am also about to get a gym membership and tan some....
I hope maybe that could work...


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## Niceguy13 (Apr 7, 2011)

Firstly make sure youare doing it for yourself not her.

Yes I would take my WS back. But things would have to be different. Not only would I be going to counciling she would be going with me. She would have to accept that because of her actions my trust with her is shattered and it is up to her to rebuild that trust. That their will be things I ask of her and because of what happened she has no right to ***** complain accuse me of being controlling etc. 

I am working now on bringing back my WS granted she is cheating on me with another man persay she is cheating on the family unit as a whole for the idea of a no responsibility life (marry young mid life crisis comes earlier ) She did use another man as a tool though to justify herself by making me crazy then accusing me of being controlling. Am still unsure whether it went physical or not but all the little birds say it has not. Either way he is out of the picture now finaly. 

Yes you would be wrong for forgiving her is she has not yet started to address her issues in the ordeal. It is never just one partners fault and things will never improe without both partners activley and productivley working on the problems in the relationship.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

dtdavies07 said:


> If you have read my other post or have not please read it before answering this question...
> 
> If your wife was caught cheating (she never was) and she left you for the other man would you let her back if she realized her mistakes?
> 
> ...


This is very contradictory...she is cheating on you, left for someone else yet she is telling you she doesn't want sex and would rather be gay?

HUH? 

It sounds like she has left already. Do you want to be with someone who doesn't want you? Either she works on the marraige with you or she is against you. Yes, it really is that simple. If she wants to come back, you need to list to her what she needs to do for your consider a reconciliation cause the ball is in your court.

You asked in another thread if taking her virginity and her having kids w/ you was strong enough of a bond for her to still want to be with you. Maybe. Maybe not. In this case it sounds like she is gone already.

My first love, the one who I lost my virginity to--I would never be with him in a relationship now. He's a great guy but he's not for me.

Also, try to stick to one thread. When there are multiples, it's hard to follow the story.


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## Sas581011 (Mar 27, 2011)

To answer your question, yes I would take her back but as JB
stated above the situation seems puzzling???
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## dtdavies07 (Apr 26, 2011)

Thanks guys, and to be honest I think I have given up and realized I am worth more than a sideline bet if things fail. I never cheated or gave up, but I think I will move on and that I cant wait any longer...


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## Sas581011 (Mar 27, 2011)

Don't give up hope, just concentrate on your well being. There has
been many a day I would have thrown the towel in but I believe
although the odds are stacked against you it will get better for you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## dtdavies07 (Apr 26, 2011)

Well all I am saying is I am not going to wait for her, I am giving her what she wants "space" and to be her own person... I am also talking to an old friend but just as friends... Its not about her, this time is about me... Hence why I am looking for a second job and going to hit the gym once more and try to go back into the active army... I miss the adrenaline rush... And anymore all the things that sucked during my time are now looking like a fun punishment... I just have come to realize all the stupid harsh intense things the military has is not to break us down its to make me a better and more intense man... I joined for self respect and honor and I miss that... I am Infantry and a Combat Engineer and its my personal goal to get into shape i mean HARDCORE, and got through RIP and SAPPER school and do both my jobs elite member courses two of the most intense and miserable courses just so my Son will know I was/am a very dedicated and strong man... That's why I am joining again too is to secure my sons future and mine. I would retire from the Army at 38 then go into a government career field IE police, FBI, CIA, DTF or anything of that nature and I will retire again at 58... How can that not be perfect for me and my son? I know I would be away alot but that would only be until he was 13 and asked to live with me... I know it seems selfish of me to go and do this but I honestly feel that that honor will make my son understand...


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## markl67 (Apr 28, 2011)

When she says she's not attracted to you, does that mean physically? Men and women can define that differently.


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## dtdavies07 (Apr 26, 2011)

UPDATE

I am completely done, I am going and getting the papers worked out tomorrow, she has crossed the line too many times. I told her to come get her stuff and give me money for our phone bill or i would shut it off. We talked briefly and I just told her I still love her but I don't want her back and that I need to worry about me and my son and not her acting like a child. We sat down wrote our demands down and tomorrow I will get them filed. I don't know what else to do but give her her demands and let this one go. Sadly that's all I want to do anymore. Lastly, I told her I would always be there for her and our son and that I know she does not care but I would, just did not want to end it on a bad note you know? But thanks everyone for the support and I think I will get on a few more times, but I am about to get rid of the internet cause its just a useless bill.

Also sorry I made two posts, I am copy/paste this on both to make it easier on me. I did not really know the forum rules


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Well we are here for you no matter what. There is probably a sense of relief knowing you won't be in limbo anymore.


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## dtdavies07 (Apr 26, 2011)

Thanks again for the support. I still hurt I wont lie, but why sit in sorry when I can go run my heart out and make something of this rage...


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