# i have a trusting issue



## hobbsr1 (Sep 12, 2008)

*Please help me i need advice...*

i have been married now for nine months now,before we were married we were together for 2 years.i have a problem with trusting her.i have invated her privacy buy checking her cell phone and checking her computer.i have not really found anything to worry about i just have a problem.i love her with all my hart and i know i can change but she has now left me and gone to her mothers.this phone checking stuff has gone on a few times and she knows that i had done that.the last straw was last week when i asked her about a guy.she has done nothing wrong its been all me i just want her back so i can show her i will never question her again.we just came back from vegas and everything went well this trip was booked prior to this happening and she agreed to go.she is still at her moms house but i love her and want her back.she said she is never comming home.how can i change her mind to come back so i can show her i will never hurt her again.her stuff is all hear she just took what she needed.please i need advice.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

If you really want to change then you'll have to be proactive about it. You'll have to reach a point that you want to change not just because you want her back but because you actually want to be a healthier, happier person. So if you were alone, and she wasnt coming back, would you do anything to change? Go to counseling, read books, keep posting on forums? if you would do these things even if she was never coming back, then you are sincere in your desire to change. Start doing these things now and one way or another you will be a happier and healthier person for it.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

ljtseng said:


> If you really want to change then you'll have to be proactive about it. You'll have to reach a point that you want to change not just because you want her back but because you actually want to be a healthier, happier person. So if you were alone, and she wasnt coming back, would you do anything to change? Go to counseling, read books, keep posting on forums? if you would do these things even if she was never coming back, then you are sincere in your desire to change. Start doing these things now and one way or another you will be a happier and healthier person for it.


:iagree:

draconis


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## hobbsr1 (Sep 12, 2008)

i do want to be a better person and im working hard on that.it has gotten to the point no where my words mean nothing to her and i undersatnd that now this has happened several times.i just want to show her i will change but she will not give me the time or day.its been a week now that she left me and i know she is hurt,i just hope this is a healing process as i am here for her now not like before as i took her for granted.i am reading up on many sites on how to fix my problem and it is doing well.i just hope she comes back to our home so we can once be happy on the day we said our vows.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

hobbsr1 said:


> i just hope she comes back to our home so we can once be happy on the day we said our vows.


I hope things work out for you, also. Good luck.


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## hobbsr1 (Sep 12, 2008)

looks like it has come to an end as its been now two weeks.and she has posted on facebook that she is no longer married,and took off her last name on the site and put her original last name on.she said we will arrange sometime to get her stuff out of the house.this is really tough as i have been going to my tharapist to get better,and she has not called once to see how it is going.


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## hobbsr1 (Sep 12, 2008)

sorry i forgot to update...3 weeks after she left i caught her kissing a guy after her work was finished.


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## iheartmywife (May 23, 2008)

hobbsr1 said:


> sorry i forgot to update...3 weeks after she left i caught her kissing a guy after her work was finished.


Did u confront them? Cause let me tell you I would have. Do u know if this was going on b4 or after she left the house. Also has she given you any reason to not trust her in the past?


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## FrenchMomma (Sep 23, 2008)

Sounds like men have that intuition thing too...


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