# wife goes out on weekends too much IMO



## mtyfmog (Jul 5, 2009)

I've been married for almost 13 years and for the most part I have worked nights usually weekends. My wife has always been more sociable and went to dance clubs before we were married. I don't know why I thought this would stop after we married. A few years after we married she started going to dance clubs every weekend. She would get phone calls from men I did not know. She said she felt neglected. I figured she was cheating, but never had proof, she said she wasn't. A couple of months ago she started trying to get into shape. She's been going out 1-2 times a week. She leaves me at home with our two children 9 and 6 years old. 
She says she meets up with a group of girls and a few guys. One of the guys I do not trust who calls her daily. She even picks him up and drops him off sometimes. In fact I really don't like the idea of my wife staying out from 10pm-3am a couple nights a week while I am working or leaving our kids with her mom while she goes out. I don't like the idea that she is dancing with other men. I don't dance with other women and other women do not call me nor I them. She doesn't drink, but all of her friends do. Most of her friends and her sister have been unfaithful to their marriage partners.
She started taking salsa dance lessons recently. She was supposed to finish at 7pm she strolls in at 9:30pm. She said she was looking for a new outfit to go out this weekend. She really seems to like going out at night, but I have to drag her to the lake to canoe with the kids or to the park to ride bikes with the kids, etc. When I ask her she says I'm jealous and to get over it. Her sister cheated on her husband 10 years ago the same way though. She met a guy at work and they were just "friends" for several months until the truth came out.
Maybe I'm just old and boring. I don't know. I'm tired of her going out and I've told her. She says I can leave anytime I want. I love the woman or I think I do and I've only been with one woman my whole life. I don't drink or go out with the guys. I really don't want to seperate and have that affect the kids. Or, maybe i just don't want to go through all of the trouble of a divorce and trying to find a woman with whom I am compatible. 
What do people do who find themselves in a situation like this? How do I decide if I want my relationship to continue? If I don't do I stick it out for the kids? Use protection just in case? I am just over reacting?


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## Dark Angel (Jun 17, 2009)

You have every right to be upset as the situation doesnt look to good.

I can understand that she likes to dance. sure fine. I understand you dont like too, neither do I. there has to be a happy compromise and it sounds to me like shes just running right over you.

If you arent comfortable with her getting rides home from other guys and phone calls (WTF??) you gotta get through to her that its unacceptable. She should want to do things with *you* not other men. Cant she get one of her girl friends to drive her home? If she really does love and respect you she will compromise on this. If not, theres probably more to the story than you think.

Dont let her walk all over you. I let my wife do this for many years and she still left me. dont try to hold the walls up yourself, it wont work. Trust me.

You gotta ask yourself too are you doing things to meet *her* needs. Is she happy with you? Whats your day to day relationship like?

hang in there, but you cant shoulder the burden yourself. It will crush you eventually.


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## downfall (Jul 5, 2009)

if She says you can leave anytime you want. then do it and dont waste anymore time hopeing she will love you. your just hurting yourself.dont waste anothere 13 with someone who doesn't care


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## mtyfmog (Jul 5, 2009)

Dark Angel said:


> You gotta ask yourself too are you doing things to meet *her* needs. Is she happy with you? Whats your day to day relationship like?


I think our relationship has been declining over the years. It is great sometimes, but other times it is bad.
Truthfully, I do not think I am meeting her needs. She works for millionaires and always complains about our situation. For example not being able to leave on trips every weekend or being able to afford new cars. Her ex-boyfriends have grown up to be big earners and I feel that I haven't met up to expectations. Her mother who lives with us complains about how much I earn. I hurt myself last year and was laid off so I make significately less than she does. I still work though and still mostly nights and weekends. I have returned back to school to try and make more though. 
Physically I am not the most handsome man ever, but I would say I married up a step. I'm not sure I am meeting her demands in this department, but think so.
I've asked her why she hangs out with people who drink at the clubs and she says her friends make her laugh and it relieves stress. She says she needs her alone time, etc. I asked her if she would like me to start drinking. I was thinking it may help me be less shy and more open to dancing and she says no.


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## mtyfmog (Jul 5, 2009)

downfall said:


> if She says you can leave anytime you want. then do it and dont waste anymore time hopeing she will love you. your just hurting yourself.dont waste another 13 with someone who doesn't care


It hurt when she said those words the first time. Thirteen years is a long time to be with someone. Not only that, but I have only been with her which is a big thing for me. Then the whole process of finding another woman with whom I am compatible. On the other hand if it wasn't for the kids I think I could get over that and leave.

Why would she say that and stay with me? She makes more than enough to live on her own with the kids. If she truley didn't care I think she would have been gone. I don't know.


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

I agree with Dark_Angel...if she says you can leave anytime you want, she's already closed the door on you. 

What she's doing is unacceptable married behavior. But is the actions of someone who is already having PAs. 

She's already left you. You should do the same. Change the locks, put her stuff on the front porch and don't answer the phone. Clear your bank accounts and move on. 

You don't have "alone time" with other people. If she wants to laugh to relieve stress (what stress?) then turn the TV to AFV! 

If you don't drink, don't start. You won't know where to quit and that'll just make things worse.


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## Dark Angel (Jun 17, 2009)

Could you convince her to go to councelling? Maybe she just needs an unbiased mediator.

I feel for you. Sure doesnt sound very good.

Sure she needs time alone, everybody does. You guys need to make some time together though. Do some of the things that brought you together in the first place and been perhaps lost over the years.

Are you a good listener? Why cant she vent to you for stress relief?

Her mother lives with you?? **alarms blaring** How noble of you, but does this cause you guys alot of problems? Is she regularily meddling in your affairs? That seriously might have to change.

As long as you are doing all you can to make money then shes gotta lay off ya. If she wants more tell her to go out there and make more. Some people can be selffish about money ,and there isnt much you can do about it. My wife complains all the time too that our house isnt as nice as so and so, or our car, or this or that (you get the picture). She spends more than we bring in, yet blames me alone for our financial problems. Its a state of mind that is not easy to change.

I really think the two of you do need to air everything out in the open. Some of these issues could be caused from deeper problems.

You say your are shy? Is it a serious issue? Do you have an anxiety disorder or some sort of social phobia?


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## Dark Angel (Jun 17, 2009)

dcrim said:


> If you don't drink, don't start. You won't know where to quit and that'll just make things worse.


Oh so true my friend.

I forgot to say you may need to get tough with her. Try everything you can first, but if she doesnt play ball you may need to separate and see how she likes that.


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## downfall (Jul 5, 2009)

13 years is a long time but if she wont even try to work something out to make you happy then whats the use.sitting and home or at work worrying about which guy she is dancing with and what they are DOING !!! and on top of it her and her mother are on your back because you dont make enough money, maybe she's out there trying to find the guy who does make the money she wants.years back i went through almost the same thing she was rich i was poor i couldn't buy her the big house or nice cars she was a step up we were toghthere for 6 years and in the end she left so she could be happy with her money. (she said she stayed so long because she was comfortable she didn't want to take a risk of being alone)
and now were both better off.


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## mtyfmog (Jul 5, 2009)

Dark Angel said:


> Could you convince her to go to councelling? Maybe she just needs an unbiased mediator.
> 
> I feel for you. Sure doesnt sound very good.
> 
> ...


We're definately not as close as when married.
My mother in law lives with us about 9 months out of the year and sides with her daughter. She isn't going anywhere and I have no say in the matter. Her sister lives 20 minutes away and she is worse than her mother. Everytime she comes over she complains about me only taking 11 credit hours this summer and her sister working 5 days a week and me not making anything. I drive a school bus, but also had surgery on my wrist in April so I can't do too much. I'm going to school this summer though and passed A&P I with an A last week and am currently in A&P II and a psychology class (45 hours a week in class).
I've always thought I was a good listener. I listen to her, but she says has said her male friends are good listeners. That is what scares me because I know men who listen and take advantage of women going through tough times because of their listening skills.
I get out and socialize very little. I've gotten better over the years, but I've never enjoyed it. She knew that when we met and when we married. I dropped out of college 15 years ago because I had too much anxiety about taking a speech class.


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## Dark Angel (Jun 17, 2009)

Have you ever seen someone about this or considered medication?

I had HORRIBLE problems with panic attacks years ago and got on some meds and my life did a 180 degree turn. What a difference. I have since gotten off the meds and am flying on my own. The attacks started to creep back in when my wife left but Im holdin out for now. I WILL go back on them if it starts to seriously affect my lifestyle though.

Of course these other men are great listeners. Theres only one thing they are after. Why dont people understand that (meaning your wife):scratchhead:

I suppose they dont carry the day to day baggage that you do too, so it makes it easier to talk to them. Still, its totally unacceptable.

I admire you. You are doing your best to make a more stable financial future for your family and she cant see that? Sorry man thats tough. Ultimately, its up to you but this is how I see it.

#1 Mother in law has to go (I understand this may not be possible.
#1A If she cant go she HAS to stay out of said family business.
#2 Sister in law needs to learn her place too.
#3 You guys need some councelling together. She way also require some on her own.
#4 If she wont co-operate. Kick her out. She may need to have a serious look at her own life to figure out what she wants.

Things may not work out, so be prepared. She may run to someone else if you leave her. Dont worry about that. If she does that she isnt worth your time anyways.

Dont give up. You can make it in the end.


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## shawn3497 (Jul 3, 2009)

I would sit down with her and tell her how you feel and then i would try and find some common ground and go do the salsa lessons with her and her friends some nights. If she does not want you to go then you know that something is up. I would also have somone follow her around like a private Investigator and see if she is actually screwing around on you or not if shes not great, If she is then I would end it. You dont need to live like theis and you certainly can find someone who will love you and respect you. Staying in it for the kids is not the answer. She is obviously not doing anything for the kids by doing what she is doing, just my suggestion get some balls and stand your ground but be prepared for it to end if it goes that way, In the long run you will have more self respect for you and from your family including her.


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## shawn3497 (Jul 3, 2009)

Listen to Dark Angel he has his head screwed on straight as I agree with everything he says


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## Dark Angel (Jun 17, 2009)

shawn3497 said:


> Listen to Dark Angel he has his head screwed on straight as I agree with everything he says


LOL Thanks Shawn, I appreciate that.

I still gotta grow wom balls myself and stand up to my wife too though.

Its easy to say but harder to do

The time IS coming though, like an unstoppable freakin freight train.


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## Rhea (May 16, 2009)

Choooooooo chooooooooooooooooooo chugga chugga


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## Dark Angel (Jun 17, 2009)

Rhea said:


> Choooooooo chooooooooooooooooooo chugga chugga


:rofl::rofl::rofl:

That just made my day. Thanks Rhea

mtyfmog - Sorry for the silliness, but it helps us all ya know?

I also forgot. Dont expect things to be like when you were first married. It CANT stay the same. There are waaaaaayy to many changes in life for that to happen. Add stress + stress +stress = a right mess if youre not careful. Perhaps the two of you just got of track together somewhere in all that and forgot what as important.


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## Rhea (May 16, 2009)

Sometimes you just gotta laugh through the tears....and trust me I've had my fair share of those tears 

Glad I can bring ya'll a smile every once in a while 

I try...

Mtyfmog...may I suggest if the wifey is willing that you guys schedule a dinner w/o the MIL and you sit down and have an honest conversation w/her...you guys need to discuss this alone, she needs to know you're serious about your feelings and this is NOT a joke period. She also needs to know that her reactions are not kosher, they aren't things you say to a spouse and slinging around "oh you can just leave" not cool at all...I wish you luck keep us posted and let us help you if we can...

Hugs


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## Sandy55 (Jun 3, 2009)

What do people do who find themselves in a situation like this? 
They put up with it until it hurts too much, then they find a way out....

How do I decide if I want my relationship to continue?
I'd just write the pros and cons and figure out if you are being cared about, then decide If I don't do I stick it out for the kids? Personally, I think your situation is a very bad reason to stick it out for the kids, I believe your wife is a bad example for your children: she is showing your kids how to NOT treat a spouse, your kids are LEARNING a BAD lesson from your wife, and you are enabling HER to teach them a bad lesson, you are as responsible as your wife is.Use protection just in case?If it were me, I'd not even be thinking sex with her.....because I truly do not think she goes out as much as she does, picks guys up and drives them places, and stays faithful; I think you naive. I am just over reacting? If ANYTHING I would say you are UNDER-REACTING BIG TIME!

Call me old fashioned, but I don't think married people should individually go out dancing very often, IF AT ALL! Together, yes, but not when you are married. Your wife sounds like a party girl, and she wants to be single.

You said: "Why would she say that and stay with me? She makes more than enough to live on her own with the kids. If she truley didn't care I think she would have been gone. I don't know."

She says that BECAUSE she is fishing WHILE you are still with her! She is CLEARLY hunting for your replacement, and isn't woman enough to get out! Her mom gets to run all over you, her sister gets to run all over you, SHE runs all over you, WHY would she leave? 

Your kids deserve better than this....you should not let them be raised watching the way she, her mother, and her sister are treating you; your kids are LEARNING this way of living and it is wrong! 

You don't even have any say in your own home for NINE months of a year. You work hard, you are trying to do better (college). I think you deserve so much better a relationship, and I think IN YOUR HEART you know that too.

I am so sorry you are being treated so badly.


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

Yeah, what Sandy said!


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## mtyfmog (Jul 5, 2009)

Sandy55 said:


> I think you naive. I am just over reacting? If ANYTHING I would say you are UNDER-REACTING BIG TIME!


I was checking phone records for her cell phone tonight. 
13 calls (since June 29) from on of her married male friends that she goes dancing with. The guys wife lets him go out alone too. The same guy who she gave a ride home to Friday(really early morning Saturday) and the same guy she went to go pick up Saturday morning to get his car. 
Her cell phone rang at 1:30 am this morning and she said it was a wrong #. Turns out it was from this guy... The converstaions are not long just 1-4 minutes per call.

Am I wrong to tell her no more going out w/o me and no more contact with this man?


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## Rhea (May 16, 2009)

No you're not wrong.


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## Tim (Mar 24, 2009)

What it boils down to is that your wife is still acting single. There is one and only one reason why she goes club hopping without you. It is to play the game. Sorry dude. Read my threads and you'll see I went through the same thing. I'm actually grateful now because all this mess is making me grow a spine finally. Kick that woman to the curb bro.


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## mtyfmog (Jul 5, 2009)

I told her tonight no more contact with this man she has been calling and talking with. I found out she had coffee with him Saturday morning which surprised me.
She says I am crazy and that if she was cheating she would tell me. I don't think she is physically anyway.
She said she is still going out. She will still call this man. So, the ultimatum didn't work.


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## Tim (Mar 24, 2009)

Wow. Has this woman dominated you or what? You allowed this to happen. I'm sorry to say and I wont lie. You need some lessons in assertiveness and confidence. I'm so sorry that you are in this mess but I can see several chess moves ahead and they all end with your wife having an affair and rubbing it in your face and calling you nuts and jealous and making you feel like ****. 

She _is_ having an affair, I'm calling it. You are at the point where she tries to convince you that you are crazy. Let me tell you, if you let her do that, you WILL go crazy. You are NOT crazy my friend. And I know you don't dare think it but your wife has had not one encounter but several others...she has been doing this for years as you already said. This is completely unacceptable, from both of you!

Talking to your wife at this point in my opinion is pointless. She has zero respect for you and takes complete advantage of your responsible, kind and understanding personality. You are a doormat. 

Am I being too harsh? I don't want to make you feel bad but someone needs to wake you up. GROW A SPINE! BE A MAN! People tried waking me up too and I was just so far gone with trust and denial that I was pretty much hopeless. Ironically, my wife's mental condition made things so bad that it forced me to wake up....if my wife wasn't completely cookoo I would still be in this relationship...in denial....afraid to really consider and ask questions.

I'm so glad I woke up out of my daze. I am a free man. Dump her. Your kids will be fine. Take care of them as I do with mine. You are the responsible one. Let her act like the child she is, you can't control that. Be the adult, be a man, take care of your ****. Kick her out and get her to pay child support, its the least she can do. If you haven't done so already, talk to a lawyer.


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## scarletblue (May 20, 2009)

I love to dance and my hubby is a great dancer, but doesn't do it much. There have been times when I just went out with the girls to go dancing, but it was like once every other weekend. Also, hubby and have "safe" people who each can dance with. I usually dance alone or with a gf. Of course, I'm just there to dance, so what is the need to dance with some guy who could get the wrong impression, or appear disrespectful to my hubby.

I think it is very easy to get into a rut, and I don't think it happens on purpose. It's kind of like developing a bad habit. It looks to me like your wife is being incredibly selfish. She does what she wants with no regard to your feelings. It looks to me like she has a huge lack of respect for you. The only way you can work this out is to sit down and communicate and care what the other is saying. The problem is that you BOTH have to WANT to do it.

Don't stay in a marriage just for the kids. They need an example of what a healthy marriage is like and you are their biggest example.

Personally, I would take love and happiness over money any day of the week!

Moving on, or working things out with your wife, can be very hard, but also very empowering and rewarding.


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## mtyfmog (Jul 5, 2009)

scarletblue said:


> I'm just there to dance, so what is the need to dance with some guy who could get the wrong impression, or appear disrespectful to my hubby.
> 
> I think it is very easy to get into a rut, and I don't think it happens on purpose. She does what she wants with no regard to your feelings. It looks to me like she has a huge lack of respect for you. The only way you can work this out is to sit down and communicate and care what the other is saying. The problem is that you BOTH have to WANT to do it.
> 
> Don't stay in a marriage just for the kids. They need an example of what a healthy marriage is like and you are their biggest example.


I feel as if I am in a rut, but I would and have gone out with her. Its just she wants to go out all of the time and especially when I can't go. Combined with the fact that I ask her not to go out she says she'll do what she wants. She is big enough to take care iof herself.


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## Tim (Mar 24, 2009)

mtyfmog said:


> I feel as if I am in a rut, but I would and have gone out with her. Its just she wants to go out all of the time and especially when I can't go. Combined with the fact that I ask her not to go out she says she'll do what she wants. She is big enough to take care iof herself.


Huge red flag.
I'm so sorry.  I lived through the same thing.
Time to man up and take care of business. Stop dwelling in this, you know whats going on, stop being in denial it is hell. 

We can't control women and the only control we have is to choose the choosers. If you want to be with someone that expects you to act married and a responsible parent while she goes out and acts single and gets laid every weekend then thats your decision. I don't see how you can trust anything that comes out of her mouth...hence talking = pointless.


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

Wow! She says you are neglecting her? Is she on the crack? You are putting up with so much unecessary crap right now its unreal. Your wife sounds like she is 19 yrs old and leaving you with the kids is definitely no way to role model or to be a mom.

I agree with Dark Angel, you are outnumbered in this situation and she got you by the ballsack. Kick them all to the curb, you are the only responsible person in this scenario and my heart feels for you.

I used to go out but was maybe once a month and my husband gave me crap for that so I stopped seeing my friends altogether. If she has any respect for you, the children or your marriage whatsoever than she will make changes. I wish you luck my friend.


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## Sandy55 (Jun 3, 2009)

Tim, GREAT replies and advice.

Mtyfmog: 

Your "wife" is no wife by any stretch of the imagination. The reason you are unhappy is that you KNOW this. 

Do you want to continue the example she is setting for your children?

I'd file for divorce. End of story. You drew a line in the sand, she flippantly told you she is going to do whatever she wants BECAUSE she knows you will roll over and play dead.

You need to show her, you are NOT playing. Tell her the next time she goes out, she is not to come back.

Then file for divorce ASAP. Change the locks. 

You deserve more than this...good people do.

(Sorry, but I don't even know your wife, but I want to smack her up beside her head and yell at her: you have CHILDREN, and a NICE man...what is your problem, WOMAN????) :rofl:


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## foxtrot11 (Aug 24, 2012)

Hi all, 

The frequency with which my soon to be ex-wife is going out is increasing and I have a lot of built up resentment. We are in the middle of divorce proceedings and she seems to just love going out without me or our 2 children. It shouldn't really bother me as 
a) we're getting divorced and
b) when she's out there's no tension in the household, just resentment that she leaves me at home with the children many weekends and I have NO time for myself (after a week's work) to clean,furnish and actually move into the flat I'll be renting.

About 5 months ago she befriended some people at yoga class and through them has been going out to different social events and sleepovers. This was even before she started the divorce proceedings. I thought I was doing the right thing by giving her her space to relax and do her own thing. I don't believe she has actually slept with anyone in this time, just that she woke up, looked in the mirror and realised she was tired of her life and wanted excitement - but without me.

Anyway, although she does briefly tell me of her planned trips abroad etc. she also tells me at very short notice ie. 2-3 days prior to actually travelling, that she's been "invited" to some other event. Like I said, we're getting divorced anyway and for this reason alone I feel I don't have the right to say anything to her. Does anyone think I should just let her carry on how she is or should I put my foot down and tell her enough is enough and wait for the divorce to be final (approx. in another 3 months) before she goes off on her frequent trips? 

Thank you for your time.


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

mtyfmog, sorry you're here because of this mate...

But you need to man up dude. She, her mother and her sister (this time literally) are walking all over you. 



> She says I can leave anytime I want.


And you stayed. That basically placed your gonads in her purse. 



> My wife has always been more sociable and went to dance clubs before we were married. I don't know why I thought this would stop after we married.


Maybe it didn't stop because when you were in the honeymoon phase you didn't push back hard enough. You weren't assertive enough. Right now you can only try and maintain your own dignity.

Giving it to you straight, she is probably banging half the town. If i was you i would ask a mod to move this to the Coping with infidelity part of the forum. Plenty of people there to help you get proof of foul play. That is if you're willing to swallow that huge disrespect pill and need final proof before you decide to move yourself.


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

mtyfmog said:


> She says I am crazy and that if she was cheating *she would tell me*.


"_Honey, I'm cheating on you. I'm having sex with a few guys. Hope that's okay for you! 
Just letting you know_. "

Is this what you're waiting for?



Since when cheaters are so honest to tell you that they are actually cheating? 
..Because if they let you know they are sleeping with other people and are honest about it, why would they be called _cheaters _in the first place?


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## Jonesey (Jul 11, 2011)

Zombie thread pople


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## AlphaHalf (Aug 5, 2012)

You've been a doormat for to long and she knows this. She will not respect you or even care about your opinions. She is showing no attempt to change her behavior even though she knows how you feel. She spends time with other men, goes out all night. Has no desire to spend time with family, She tells you to move on if you can't handle it.
Most likely having sex with other men. 

What exactly is your boundary that if she crosses it, you will decide to divorce????? In my opinion she has already crossed to many.

Divorce and move on or stay and continue to be miserable. You only put up with what you allow.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

I don;t get this. This is the EASIEST form of infidelity to bust (yes, seeking and accepting the attention and affections of strange men in a sexually charged environment is infidelity, PARTICULARLY when the husband is NOT welcome but other men are). 

Women don;t tell men "I'm going to screw my affair partner at the Dew-Drop INN. Back in a few". The DO, however, say "I'm going to go out and w.h.o.r.e around at meat markets until 3 in the morning. Don;t wait up" yet we do NOTHING.

Spy. Either a PI or a friend she doesn't know. If she behaves in a manner that she would not do if you were around. That's cheating.

Oh, and I can't GUARANTEE she's banging Saturday morning coffee boy, but I'd bet HUGE money she is.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Yes this is a zombie thread.

However, notice that what the wife is actually doing IS unfaithful period. Yet folks want to investigate to see if she is cheating.

Welll I get that they want to see the scope of the betrayal certainly. Not questioning that at all. However I find it amazing that what the OP depicts is not enough to just say she is unfaithful now. She is going out multiple times a week to the wee hours of the morning to party with other men. At least one other man calls her and she is having dates with him.

Add to that that his wife told him he can leave any time.

The fact that anyone can look at this and not realize that even if she in not having sex that this is unfaithful. But her having extramarital sex is a reasonable assumption but not really required to say this is her messing around with other men.

This is a zombie thread and this poster only posted in this thread years ago. So who know how much truth there might be here.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

Entropy3000 said:


> Yes this is a zombie thread.
> .


DOH!! Got me again.

Foxtrot. Start a thread of your own and get the advice you need. No, she can't rub her new freedom in your face while you are still stuck together. Don't let her. When she tells you she's going out again, tell her you had plans already. Find another babysitter.


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## foxtrot11 (Aug 24, 2012)

MrK said:


> DOH!! Got me again.
> MrK, Yes, you're right -what was I thinking gatecrashing someone else's thread - and Zombie thread - you were right about that too.
> 
> 
> Foxtrot. Start a thread of your own and get the advice you need. No, she can't rub her new freedom in your face while you are still stuck together. Don't let her. When she tells you she's going out again, tell her you had plans already. Find another babysitter.


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## Drover (Jun 11, 2012)

Wtf is with all these guys here who let their wives go on dates lately? Why do you let her do that? This is just ridiculous. Tell her she can be married or she can be single, not both. You're not her babysitter/meal ticket. You're her husband. Make her be a wife or send her backing.


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

mtyfmog said:


> I told her tonight no more contact with this man she has been calling and talking with. I found out she had coffee with him Saturday morning which surprised me.
> She says I am crazy and that if she was cheating she would tell me. I don't think she is physically anyway.
> She said she is still going out. She will still call this man. So, the ultimatum didn't work.


Your ultimatum didn't work because you can't or won't back it up with consequences and she knows it.

When she said she was still going to meet the OM and you're just crazy. You should have packed her bags and told her to leave.

That was not an ultimatum. That was a feeble attempt at trying for the sake of trying.


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