# On Whom



## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

While the marriage was falling apart, I had advice from many people. I confess I had an impression that:
- 90% women had no useful if you were not being a whiney child or a ****.
- 90% of happily married men had no useful if you were not being a whiney child or a ****.
Unhappily married men could offer useful advice. I was left with the impression that a good marriage relies on the woman working hard (typically, raising kids, helping out round the house and not with holding sex) and the man not being useless (i.e. not doing any of that). 

If the man is working hard and the woman is pretty good (i.e. only doing one of having a job, helping with housework or having sex), then it is a mediocre marriage.

It seems it is mainly on the woman. But that is the impression from people who have spoken to me. I am here to be corrected.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

The useless part may simply be the man withholding muscle for activities not deemed worthwhile.

We are in year 2 of empty nest and I'm too old to deal with the usual chores - mentally old, not physically. So I have brought up the idiocy of maintaining a 6000 sq ft house for two people to no avail. She thinks we will grow up gracefully and die of old age in this house. Ain't happening. 

So, it's not as much hard work for either spouse as much as it is flexibility and understanding of reality.


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