# How do you keep from doing something stupid?



## Luonnotar (Aug 2, 2012)

Every time I talk to him, it ends badly.
Yet sometimes I get lonely/sad/depressed and really want to call and ask him "can't we just try again?"
How do you keep from calling/saying something stupid/going where you shouldn't?
Right now I'm watching all the Die Hard movies and browsing TAM to try and stay away from my phone.....


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Sounds like you found one way. 

Come here and ask if you should do it... you will be told no every time.

Talk to friends & family about this and get a few people to support you so you can call them and talk when you feel like this.

Place things with friends ahead of time. Then go out and have a good time. 

Get busy


----------



## Luonnotar (Aug 2, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Come here and ask if you should do it... you will be told no every time.


I"m counting on that. Thanks friends!


----------



## Orpheus (Jul 6, 2012)

start blowing through TAM threads and offering support to others. distract yourself.

but, like a junkie, sometimes you just have to do the stupid thing until it kills you. (not literally, that would be against TOS). silly thing.

And really, isn't Die Hard punishment enough?


----------



## Luonnotar (Aug 2, 2012)

Orpheus said:


> And really, isn't Die Hard punishment enough?


Just watched a plane blow up. Pretending my STBXH is on it. 
Wrong, I know, but mad is better than a door mat. Or at least, that's what I keep telling myself.


----------



## veebras (Dec 10, 2011)

I wish I had better or some advice! I'm in the same boat here.. Sucks! And so hard. But I've been doing better lately.. 4 mos separated now. It takes time! And just be patient and think how love is soft and free..! Omg I feel for ya tho.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Orpheus (Jul 6, 2012)

Luo and vee, it also helps to set some RULES. Like i'll only contact my stb when i feel "happy"; or after i sit on it for 24/48 hours; after i've talked to a trusted friend. etc. By having rules - whatever they are - it alleviates you from having to natter about it in the interim.

for instance, my x would only contact me the day after i'd asked her something and always at the same time (f*cking psycho, but i digress). i generally would only send things when i was in a good place. so if i'd written something, i would sit on it until i knew my mental state had changed.


----------



## Po12345 (Apr 28, 2011)

I wish I knew how to stay away from mine but we are stuck together, as she has to watch my kids till we can figure out what to do with the house, as I work 90 minuts from here and am gone half the time. 

I often wonder if I'd been able to stay away from talking to her and constantly wondering why she did what she did if things would have been different, but then I remember "Oh yah, she f'ing went to see another man, then did it again, her fault". 

Yet still here I am trying to help her, like a damned fool.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Luonnotar said:


> Just watched a plane blow up. Pretending my STBXH is on it.
> Wrong, I know, but mad is better than a door mat. Or at least, that's what I keep telling myself.


Remodel your home. Get a sledge hammer and take out non-retaining walls. Imagine the wall is your STBXH. Very theraputic.


----------



## timeforpain (Apr 29, 2012)

I volunteered with Habitat for Humanity a few weeks ago... it was exhausting and therapeutic.


----------



## LuvMyH (Nov 11, 2009)

I simply created enough distraction and drama for myself in a situation that didn't involve him. He barely crossed my mind during the past couple of months. I can't say that I recommend it, but that's what worked for me. I still need to change my user name.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------

