# Do you tell your man he's sexy?



## firebelly1

I was reading an article this morning in which the man writing it suggested that women tell their man when his body and the way he moves / uses it turns her on. Do you do that? If so, how does your man react? Does he appreciate you telling him that?


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## that_girl

Yea. I do. He is. Even with all our shet, he's still sexy. He's been working out with me (lifting) and started growing some facial hair (his job before didn't allow facial hair). So he's pretty sexy looking.

He tells me too...he likes my butt. I think it's huge, but now with lifting, it may be big, but it's solid haha.


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## SimplyAmorous

I get off on making him feel like he's the Man...that he trips my triggers...My H is a very humble guy... its just not something that goes to his head, he will tell me I am "warped" even.. but he's lovin' it...I wasn't like this for many years.. could kick myself for that....

So our time is now....we're getting older .... I want to revel in all the sex and hotness we can muster up...He's happy my mind is always in the gutter!!.. it keeps us energized, entertained.... and we feed off of each other...


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## soccermom2three

Yes, I tell him he looks hot.


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## kilgore

my wife tells me that and vice versa. i don't necessarily buy it re: myself, but i like being told anyway


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## Anomnom

Yup I tell him. He smiles and kinda laughs it off but I know he likes hearing it, and I love having it all to myself!


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## sunhunter

I can't remember if/when my W ever told me that I was sexy. She thinks i'm handsome ... but i doubt if there's anyone that she would call sexy. She just isn't triggered by visual stimuli. 

I would love it though that she'd tell me I'm sexy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Coffee Amore

Nearly every day. He grins and laughs it off, but I know he loves it. It's the truth too. He takes care of himself and exercises. He looks hot.


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## heartsbeating

Do I tell him he's sexy? Yes .......however it speaks to him more if I SHOW him he's sexy.


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## FizzBomb

Yep. I tell him he's cute, gorgeous and that he has a great body. Which is true as he lifts at the gym nearly every day. He says 'no I'm not'. He doesn't seem to believe me but I'm sure he still likes to hear it. He usually tells me that I have a 'good body' or a 'really good body'. . Usually during foreplay with his eyes glazing over :smthumbup: I like hearing it and even more I like seeing the look on his face when he says it.


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## kilgore

i do like being told that and i hope she thinks that. but i am not what i once was. i have a little belly, am losing my hair, not super muscular, not to bulge-y. but, she seems to think so or i hope she does.


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## over20

Aww, we all change over time, I am sure she still sees you very desirable.....I met hubs at 16 and now he is 43..I still see him as the hot young man I fell in love with...


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## FizzBomb

intheory said:


> Yes.
> But what do I know. Women, as we all know, aren't visual


Right on intheory! I never once for a millisecond took any notice whatsoever of Brad Pitt's tight, tanned and perfectly sculpted buttock cheeks in the movie 'Troy'. (Hang on just a minute, just gotta wipe the drool off the keyboard). Yeah, just watched that movie for the historical value. Or Channing Tatum's amazing chest and errr amazing everything else in that tool box strip flick that I can't remember the name of.


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## kilgore

FizzBomb said:


> Right on intheory! I never once for a millisecond took any notice whatsoever of Brad Pitt's tight, tanned and perfectly sculpted buttock cheeks in the movie 'Troy'. (Hang on just a minute, just gotta wipe the drool off the keyboard). Or Channing Tatum's amazing chest and errr amazing everything else in that tool box stip flick that I can't remember the name of.


fizz - u man-objectifier


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## kilgore

intheory said:


> So true. Love does that. Love sees what the person looks like as they get older; and remembers what they were when you first met them.
> 
> Together since 16. That is beautiful.


agreed. i just don't feel that way about myself when i look in the mirror these days 

though, my wife i think still does


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## Coffee Amore

intheory said:


> So true. Love does that. Love sees what the person looks like as they get older; and remembers what they were when you first met them.
> 
> Together since 16. That is beautiful.


My husband says I still look the same as when he met me over two decades ago. I think he has love goggles on.


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## terrence4159

my wife tells me that almost everyday....but then again everyone says i look just like jase from duck dynasty (even had to take photos with a woman if the kona airport cause she said she thought i was him)so maybe she just finds him sexy


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## over20

terrence4159 said:


> my wife tells me that almost everyday....but then again everyone says i look just like jase from duck dynasty (even had to take photos with a woman if the kona airport cause she said she thought i was him)so maybe she just finds him sexy


Did you sign an autograph too?...JK I love that show


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## terrence4159

just the photo shoot at the airport. lol


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## over20

Did you really?...That is so flippin funny...I bet your wife laughed so hard..:rofl::rofl:


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## Kylie84

I tell DH he is sexy all the time. He hears me! Just yesterday I told him how sexy he would look going commando in loose tracksuit pants, and later that day he showers and out he comes wearing just that... he wasn't wearing them for long but yeah... hahaha


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## moxy

sunhunter said:


> I can't remember if/when my W ever told me that I was sexy. She thinks i'm handsome ... but i doubt if there's anyone that she would call sexy. She just isn't triggered by visual stimuli.
> 
> 
> 
> I would love it though that she'd tell me I'm sexy.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Would it be fundamentally different to hear her tell you that she thinks you're sexy from telling you that she's handsome? Wouldn't both of those sort of seem the same?


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## moxy

kilgore said:


> i do like being told that and i hope she thinks that. but i am not what i once was. i have a little belly, am losing my hair, not super muscular, not to bulge-y. but, she seems to think so or i hope she does.



I don't think sexiness is only about muscle tone. If she tells you she's attracted to you, she probably is


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## ScarletBegonias

firebelly1 said:


> I was reading an article this morning in which the man writing it suggested that women tell their man when his body and the way he moves / uses it turns her on. Do you do that? If so, how does your man react? Does he appreciate you telling him that?


Every day Since I do tell him every day I try to change it up and think of different ways to express it. That way I'm not always just like Yeah,you're hot n sexy.

He loves hearing those things from me. He loves when I describe exactly what I like about his body and what he does to me. 
At night,I make a point of putting down my phone and watching him undress  He'll turn off the light and walk to his side of the bed...that's when I pick up my phone again and turn on the spotlight so I can watch him walk 

He'll just laugh at me and say I'm cute. I know it makes him feel really good about himself and gives him a confidence boost.


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## P51Geo1980

firebelly1 said:


> I was reading an article this morning in which the man writing it suggested that women tell their man when his body and the way he moves / uses it turns her on. Do you do that? If so, how does your man react? Does he appreciate you telling him that?


My STBXW told me only a handful of times that I was handsome (she never used the word sexy) NAND she certainly never made me feel that way. My current girlfriend doesn't say it much either, but she shows me all the time that she finds me sexy/handsome/attractive. I'd rather be shown and not told than told and not shown.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## moxy

I tell my guy how much I desire him, rather than objectively tell him he's desirable. In my opinion, the former encourages better intimacy and the latter puffs up the ego. However, not everyone's love language is words. I'd rather feel desired than objectively praised; I wonder if that's something common among women, for whom vanity and appearance are culturally prescribed topics, and rarer among men, for whom praise and admiration is, culturally speaking, reserved for moments of valor or accomplishment.


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## Caribbean Man

My wife used to tell me that quite a lot sometime ago , but I cant remember the last time she told me.
However ,now I complement her looks / sexiness, every chance I get.

So she did it before so now it's my turn.
But I guess she doesn't have to say it , she shows it , because our hands are almost always all over each other.


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## Q tip

Your man loves to hear this. His response may not show it. He appreciates it a lot. It will stay in his mind longer than you keep his complements to you. For you, it's expected, for him, it's just not expected. - and secretly he loves it.


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## happy as a clam

All. the. time.

Seriously, all the time. In as many different creative ways as I can think of.

He is the sexiest thing I ever laid eyes on and I make sure he knows it


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## cyclone

Dear women,

We love to hear that we're sexy. You don't have to overdo it but it let be known. Secretly, we want the same things you do.

Love,
A Man


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## Faithful Wife

Mine doesn't "secretly" want the same things I do, he openly wants them.


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## ScarletBegonias

Faithful Wife said:


> Mine doesn't "secretly" want the same things I do, he openly wants them.


 exactly
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Fenix

Coffee Amore said:


> My husband says I still look the same as when he met me over two decades ago. I think he has love goggles on.


Love goggles! Hilarious...I love it.


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## ariel_angel77

Yes, I tell him very often that he is sexy.  and hot, attractive, best looking man on the planet, etc. He loves when I tell him that. I think it makes him feel good. And, he gives me lots of compliments in return.


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## over20

ariel_angel77 said:


> Yes, I tell him very often that he is sexy.  and hot, attractive, best looking man on the planet, etc. He loves when I tell him that. I think it makes him feel good. And, he gives me lots of compliments in return.


You sound like a great wife...


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## ariel_angel77

over20 said:


> You sound like a great wife...


Thank you that's really nice


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## over20

I mean it, we all struggle and for you to have loving patience with your husband shows true character on your part...


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## Jellybeans

heartsbeating said:


> Do I tell him he's sexy? Yes .......however it speaks to him more if I SHOW him he's sexy.


Meow!


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## Holland

Yes I do and oh my he is sexy as hell. Those big, broad shoulders drive me crazy. He is one sexy man
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## I Notice The Details

I am a lucky husband. My wife tells me all the time. She pulls my towel off when I get out of the shower....so she can look at my buns as I brush my teeth. She tells me quite often what she likes about my body. She looks out the window when I am working in the back yard (without a shirt on) and later tells me what a "manly" body I have. I appreciate her comments and gestures. They make me feel like a million bucks!!!


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## Omego

I Notice The Details said:


> I appreciate her comments and gestures. They make me feel like a million bucks!!!


Awww. That's cute! I do the same and my H loves it. I often say: "Do you get tired of me constantly touching you whenever you are near?" Luckily, it's reciprocal!


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## Elane

I tell him all the time he's sexy, handsome, etc. I'm much more attracted to a man with a great sense of humor and a spark in his eye than one that is what society would traditionally deem attractive. He is that, but it's not his physical appearance that attracts and keeps me interested. Not at all.


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## BostonBruins32

I have not heard a compliment from my wife regarding looking sexy or handsome in years. (i weigh 4lbs more than I did when I met her 10 years ago). I heard 2 months ago that she liked my haircut. ohhh what a turn on! that will carry me through another 10 years with her!

In all seriousness, you women that compliment your men are doing it right.


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## SunnyWife

Yup, I tell my hubby all the time that he is smokin' hot, sexy and handsome! He tells me all the time too. He just loves it when I text him saying something along those lines unexpectedly during the day... trust me... when he gets home from work it's "game on" :smthumbup:


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## DoF

Complementing each other is an important part of marriage. 

Do it regularly (AT THE VERY LEAST once a week, preferably every day or 2....)


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## karole

Absolutely! I make a point to let my husband know he is still the sexiest man alive to me and always will be!


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## Stretch

Blurting out that you think your man is sexy is the best kind of Tourettes Syndrome to have.

I never hold those thoughts back about my lady.

Stretch


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## Blossom Leigh

YES!!! I fawn over my man a LOT!!! LOVE ME some hubs eye candy :smthumbup:


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## samyeagar

This is one area I really wish my wife would do a better job with. She absolutely eats it up when I let her know how hot and sexy she is...I would very much enjoy the same.


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## Almostrecovered

If you think I'm sexy and you like my body, come on baby let me know


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## Runs like Dog

Give him a bunch of mindless chores in that passive aggressive way of stating 'oh you're SOOOO at doing that....."


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## HappyGilmore

Oh yes, I do--because he is so sexy! He has that perfect body type, in between lean and muscular, not extreme either way (and that is what we truly like, right ladies? Someone who fits that golden mean). One of the younger ladies in my class told me after she had a chance to meet my husband: "not only does he come across as a just plain good person, but wow is he handsome! You lucky girl."
At one point, I described his six-pack abs, and she said "that must be nice to come home to." I replied, grinning like the cat that ate the canary,"yes, I have it rough, don't I?" 

I love that his hair is interspersed with some strands of silver, it's so...George Clooney-like. And he has that sexy, rugged look. He smells good. He's just hot. I am a lucky woman.

And he is a good man, a truly good person. His looks are just the sexy icing on the whole sexy cake. The way he was willing to give up so much so I can complete my graduate degree, following my dreams, how he neglected his own needs to care for mine after the miscarriage, how he stood by me during my last unsuccessful brush with baby fever--he is one of the best people I've ever met, and I am fortunate that he is my husband. 

To encapsulate it all, I can describe a situation during the most recent baby fever phase. I once told him, tearfully, after fighting so much infertility, that I felt that my "expiration date is running out." He looked at me and said "if that's the case, so is mine. You're my wife, I am your husband. We're in this together." Needless to say, we ended up in the bedroom shortly after that. 

I suppose I cannot brag enough about him. He is sexy in so many ways.


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## BostonBruins32

You women rock. My wife hasn't complimented my physically, except for a hair cut, in about 5 years maybe more. 

I would also like to point out that the compliments you feed your men will drive them to continue to improve and look the best and be the best they can.


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## SunnyT

Yep.

I call him "Studley", "Studley Doright", "Conan", and of course "Stud" for short. 

Mostly I just call him Sweetie. But he is so sexual, sensual, considerate, ........and hot to the touch (which turns out is really sexy to me... who knew?)..... I tell him often how sexy he is.


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## Lyris

No he doesn't like compliments at all, they make him uncomfortable. Which is a shame because he's gorgeous.


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## samyeagar

Like a moth to a fame, I wish I could just stay away from this thread...at least she's stopped vocalizing it about other men...baby steps


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## Mzflower

All the time. He truly drives me wild. 

We are (thankfully) very much the same in the affection, compliment department. In bed if some part of us isn't touching, he grabs me and pulls me closer.


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## WorkingOnMe

samyeagar said:


> Like a moth to a fame, I wish I could just stay away from this thread...at least she's stopped vocalizing it about other men...baby steps


I know exactly what you mean.


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## jld

Almostrecovered said:


> If you think I'm sexy and you like my body, come on baby let me know


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## jld

BB and Sam and WOM, if your wives are having sex with you, I think you can safely assume they are attracted to you, even if they are not very vocal about it.

I am pretty complimentary to dh, but I don't always think about specifically mentioning what physically attracts me to him. He is tall, and I think his *** and legs are gorgeous, but I don't always think to say it. I tend to compliment his character more.

Anyway, just trying to encourage you not to feel disheartened because your wives are not vocal. Just have some trust in yourselves. Be confident that they are attracted, and that you are attractive. Maybe just tell yourselves things that you would like to hear? 

And consider telling your wives what you would like them to say, even if it feels awkward. Better to just be clear about it, than to secretly feel bad.


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## Wolf1974

jld said:


> BB and Sam and WOM, if your wives are having sex with you, I think you can safely assume they are attracted to you, even if they are not very vocal about it.
> 
> I am pretty complimentary to dh, but I don't always think about specifically mentioning what physically attracts me to him. He is tall, and I think his *** and legs are gorgeous, but I don't always think to say it. I tend to compliment his character more.
> 
> Anyway, just trying to encourage you not to feel disheartened because your *wives are not vocal*. Just have some trust in yourselves. Be confident that they are attracted, and that you are attractive. Maybe just tell yourselves things that you would like to hear?
> 
> And consider telling your wives what you would like them to say, even if it feels awkward. Better to just be clear about it, than to secretly feel bad.



Thanks for saying this JLD . I have only ever had one GF vocally tell me she thought I was sexy. Seems the women I have come across just aren't vocal about this. I sure did appreciate hearing it. Was one of the things I really loved about her.


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## WorkingOnMe

My wife may not be vocal but her friends are.


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## jld

Wolf1974 said:


> Thanks for saying this JLD . I have only ever had one GF vocally tell me she thought I was sexy. Seems the women I have come across just aren't vocal about this. I sure did appreciate hearing it. Was one of the things I really loved about her.


I am sure you are a great guy, Wolf. I don't know what you look like, but your quiet confidence and good values are sexy. So feel good about that compliment, okay?


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## samyeagar

jld said:


> BB and Sam and WOM, *if your wives are having sex with you, I think you can safely assume they are attracted to you,* even if they are not very vocal about it.
> 
> I am pretty complimentary to dh, but I don't always think about specifically mentioning what physically attracts me to him. He is tall, and I think his *** and legs are gorgeous, but I don't always think to say it. I tend to compliment his character more.
> 
> Anyway, just trying to encourage you not to feel disheartened because your wives are not vocal. Just have some trust in yourselves. Be confident that they are attracted, and that you are attractive. Maybe just tell yourselves things that you would like to hear?
> 
> And consider telling your wives what you would like them to say, even if it feels awkward. Better to just be clear about it, than to secretly feel bad.


Knowing some of the guys she's been with, not sure how ringing of an endorsement that is 

I know she does, and there have been a couple of times where her filter has dropped, and I remember them very vividly. As I said...baby steps...

WOM...yeah, her friends notice, and have said some things  It's kind of funny...my wife's friends will make comments to her when I am not around, and my wife will happily tell me about the conversations, she just has a hard time vocalizing it on her own.


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## SimplyAmorous

Wolf1974 said:


> Thanks for saying this JLD . *I have only ever had one GF vocally tell me she thought I was sexy. Seems the women I have come across just aren't vocal about this. I sure did appreciate hearing it*. Was one of the things I really loved about her.


When my sex drive sky rocketed, so did my mouth....this incessant desire to FLIRT with him was ongoing...this was my experience.... I was always the type that was pretty free with what was happening inside my head.. so God help him when all I had on my mind was SEX... 

Seeing how he responded to all this flirting attention was an awful lot of FUN though...and it got me what I was after.


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## Wolf1974

Well I would say that my GF always shows through body language, touching, and the come **** me look. Just not verbal. I guess I just thought that was the way of women till I read here lol


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## jld

Wolf1974 said:


> Well I would say that my GF always shows through body language, touching, and the come **** me look. Just not verbal. I guess I just thought that was the way of women till I read here lol


I think that is pretty accurate. If she is seeking you out, trust that you are attractive to her.


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## SimplyAmorous

> *Wolf1974 said*: Well I would say that my GF always shows through body language, touching, and the come **** me look. Just not verbal. I guess I just thought that was the way of women till I read here lol





jld said:


> I think that is pretty accurate. If she is seeking you out, trust that you are attractive to her.


I think much of this is a personality thing...or what she feels comfortable with..

I'd say the majority of women are receptive and on the *subtle side*.. often body language is her "come on" ...very normal.. 

I'm a little out of the box, so long as I know he is into me, I can be pretty forthcoming, verbally / physically...it comes very natural ... if my husband didn't like this about me...or felt it was too much, preferring subtle...I'd feel like I had to push a part of my personality down..to turn him on. ...I wouldn't like that so much..


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## bbdad

> My wife may not be vocal but her friends are


I am in the last few weeks of show prep (body building and/or physique). My wife will never say anything about my appearance, except that she doesn't like me too lean. She did last year, but she has put on some lbs this year due to hormonal reasons, so now she really resents my physique change. However, her friends are not shy about hiding it at all. I thought that may get her to say something, but nope. It just is what it is.

We still hang in there and make things work.


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## samyeagar

I do make a conscious effort when I am noticed by other women and her friends not to revel too much in it...


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## samyeagar

See here's the problem with this...we have a casual dress code at work, jeans and polos, but t-shirts are not allowed. I usually push it a bit further and wear jeans and a plain tee. Today, I was coming back into the building, and the security guard stopped me to tell me about a conversation he was part of. One of the managers with a group of other women saw me heading out the door earlier and she mentioned that she really ought to talk to me about following the dress code, but the general consensus was to just let it go because they didn't want to lose their eye candy. Part of me loved it, and another part of me hated it because I loved it. I don't think I would eat it up nearly as much, nor have the feelings of guilt if my wife was more vocal...and yes, we've talked about this.


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## Middle of Everything

BostonBruins32 said:


> You women rock. My wife hasn't complimented my physically, except for a hair cut, in about 5 years maybe more.
> 
> I would also like to point out that the compliments you feed your men will drive them to continue to improve and look the best and be the best they can.


My wife is the same. In the past I could walk by her naked going to take a shower and she wouldnt even react at all. I pointed that out and how she doesnt notice me at all. Occaisionally a forced whistle going to take a shower now. 

Agree with the last part about compliments driving to look even better. At this point I am getting in better shape for myself. And to be honest I hope she eventually notices and says I look nice simply so I can say too bad. Too late. Should have said something before. Now you arent sexy enough for ME.

Sad I know. Unhealthy I know. Funny what a few comliments can do.


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## BostonBruins32

jld said:


> BB and Sam and WOM, if your wives are having sex with you, I think you can safely assume they are attracted to you, even if they are not very vocal about it.
> 
> I am pretty complimentary to dh, but I don't always think about specifically mentioning what physically attracts me to him. He is tall, and I think his *** and legs are gorgeous, but I don't always think to say it. I tend to compliment his character more.
> 
> Anyway, just trying to encourage you not to feel disheartened because your wives are not vocal. Just have some trust in yourselves. Be confident that they are attracted, and that you are attractive. Maybe just tell yourselves things that you would like to hear?
> 
> And consider telling your wives what you would like them to say, even if it feels awkward. Better to just be clear about it, than to secretly feel bad.


oh JLD.. you know my story pretty good. My wife is not attracted to me. She ovulates once a month, and initiates. She had accepted my advances another once a month, as she knows I provide a nice life for her. 

I've been clear about it. She looked at me like I was nuts and or like I was a big p*ssy. That was that.. Thankfully, I am no longer looking for her approval. I'm just doing what I do. After a while its no big deal.


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## BostonBruins32

Middle of Everything said:


> My wife is the same. In the past I could walk by her naked going to take a shower and she wouldnt even react at all. I pointed that out and how she doesnt notice me at all. Occaisionally a forced whistle going to take a shower now.
> 
> Agree with the last part about compliments driving to look even better. At this point I am getting in better shape for myself. And to be honest I hope she eventually notices and says I look nice simply so I can say too bad. Too late. Should have said something before. Now you arent sexy enough for ME.
> 
> Sad I know. Unhealthy I know. Funny what a few comliments can do.


you have to let go of hoping she compliments you. let improvements you make take care of themselves. wife wanted space 10 months ago. I broke down quick, then picked up and improved a bunch of stuff for myself. I lost 10lbs (only started at 177lbs anyways, not like i was big). got in killer shape, have remained so. She hasnt said a word. She'd have to be blind to not notice. Oh well. I feel awesome about my appearance and others have noticed. Thats enough for me.


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## Middle of Everything

BostonBruins32 said:


> you have to let go of hoping she compliments you. let improvements you make take care of themselves. wife wanted space 10 months ago. I broke down quick, then picked up and improved a bunch of stuff for myself. I lost 10lbs (only started at 177lbs anyways, not like i was big). got in killer shape, have remained so. She hasnt said a word. She'd have to be blind to not notice. Oh well. I feel awesome about my appearance and others have noticed. Thats enough for me.


Oh im getting there. Every day/week/month that passes I care less and less whether she is attracted to me. Not sure on weight lost but I know ive firmed up the chest and stomach with push-ups and crunches routine. Has she said a word? Not ONE.

Oh well. Her loss. Now just that painful strange transition of keeping at it for myself and realizing the woman I love either doesnt care at all because she just really isnt attracted to me, or is REALLY REALLY bad at expressing it.


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## heartsbeating

I'm curious to those who don't receive compliments (and maybe that's not your wife's style) - do you compliment her?


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## WorkingOnMe

heartsbeating said:


> I'm curious to those who don't receive compliments (and maybe that's not your wife's style) - do you compliment her?



I used to often. I used to post very complimentary things on her fb wall too. Then I realized she never did to me. Then I saw the Facebook timeline video thing they did last year. Mine seemed to be half and half me and her. Hers had nothing of me and I realized that's because she doesn't post about me at all. So I stopped complimenting her and posting about her on fb. Believe me it's not easy. Her last half marathon she called when she finished (I didn't go) and I just said 'oh, ok'.


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## heartsbeating

WorkingOnMe said:


> I used to often. I used to post very complimentary things on her fb wall too. Then I realized she never did to me. Then I saw the Facebook timeline video thing they did last year. Mine seemed to be half and half me and her. Hers had nothing of me and I realized that's because she doesn't post about me at all. So I stopped complimenting her and posting about her on fb. Believe me it's not easy. Her last half marathon she called when she finished (I didn't go) and I just said 'oh, ok'.


Oh Facebook... I'm hoping that her admiration of you would be deeper than what she posts on FB. Can you remember a time when she did compliment you? 

It's in my character to give genuine compliments. I compliment my husband but I asked him one day how he feels when I say such things. He told me that it's nice but he doesn't really need this. He prefers when I show him. As it's still part of who I am, it's good for me to know this to ensure there's a good balance and what speaks to him. Do compliments speak to your wife? Does she know they would mean something to you?


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## WorkingOnMe

Fb was just an example. But no I can't remember one compliment in 22 years. Not when I finished my Navy service, not when I graduated college, not when I made partner. She seems to criticize a lot but acts like admiration would be giving away her power or something.

For the last 2 years I've told her she never has. She denies it but still doesn't do it.


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## heartsbeating

WorkingOnMe said:


> Fb was just an example. But no I can't remember one compliment in 22 years. Not when I finished my Navy service, not when I graduated college, not when I made partner. She seems to criticize a lot but acts like admiration would be giving away her power or something.


Sorry to hear that. 

Criticism is crappy for a relationship. I'm no saint, I've criticized my husband in the past. Not cool. If needed, he will call me out on stuff - it gives me pause to recognize and check myself and doesn't happen much anymore.


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## heartsbeating

WorkingOnMe said:


> For the last 2 years I've told her she never has. She denies it but still doesn't do it.


Does she compliment others or is it just her style not to?


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## WorkingOnMe

She does. Not much but she does.


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## Middle of Everything

heartsbeating said:


> I'm curious to those who don't receive compliments (and maybe that's not your wife's style) - do you compliment her?


Yeah I have told her she is sexy PLENTY over the years. In various ways. No question of that.

She pretty much doesnt say it or show it.

Now to be clear she will compliment in general. Just not about sexiness I guess. 

Im not a Men's Health cover model but I dont think you need to be for your wife to show you that you're sexy too her. She's no Jessica Biel and to be honest I never noticed or care because she was (is?) sexy as HELL to me. The more time that passes that she doesnt treat me like im sexy? I notice that shes not perfect in body more and more. Funny how that works.


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## samyeagar

heartsbeating said:


> I'm curious to those who don't receive compliments (and maybe that's not your wife's style) - do you compliment her?



Frequently as in multiple times a day. And not just in sexual situations. I make it a point to keep the filter off as much as is appropriate. I see her doing something that's cute, I tell her, shadow catches her form just right as she's rolling over in bed, I let her know she is absolute artwork in motion, she bends over in front of the fridge, I tell her she's got a great ass, she stands up and stretches, how sexy she is...and she eats it up each and every time. I also make it a point to keep the filter on with regards to other women...I don't ogle or give second glances, don't vocalize anything. My focus is entirely her.


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## firebelly1

I'm glad the men have chimed in here because now I want to ask you - is there any particular comment about your sexiness that you like most? I do tend to compliment on certain body parts and general good looks as well as character traits. I also compliment when he's wearing something particularly sexy - which can be anything from a suit to a new running jacket. Can't stop grabbing and caressing a tight butt, although I might not compliment it as much as I touch it. I assume that ratio is still alright?


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## I Notice The Details

Firebelly....I think he will appreciate something very direct like:

Honey, I really get turned on when you _________.

Honey, I can't take my eyes off of you when I see you __________.

When my wife says things like this, I notice!!!


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## samyeagar

firebelly1 said:


> I'm glad the men have chimed in here because now I want to ask you - *is there any particular comment about your sexiness that you like most?* I do tend to compliment on certain body parts and general good looks as well as character traits. I also compliment when he's wearing something particularly sexy - which can be anything from a suit to a new running jacket. Can't stop grabbing and caressing a tight butt, although I might not compliment it as much as I touch it. I assume that ratio is still alright?


All of the above that you listed?  I have largely given up on ever really getting what you describe above. I think the thing that has gotten to me the most was how early on when we were dating, she never said anything about or ogled real life men, but she had her certain celeb's that she very openly "admired" so I know for a fact that the filter can come off. After a few discussions on it, she has reigned things in and filters that kind of stuff which is an improvement of sorts.

I am in decent shape, former swimmer and gymnast, lean, 8 pack abs, not a whole lot of bulk. She does have some pictures of me that are routinely the wall paper on her phone, and that she will show off to friends, and I know she brags about me to friends because some of her friends have said things, so I know she finds me attractive, it's just near impossible for her to verbalize it to me, and it is kind of disheartening to get out of the shower, water dripping off me, walking naked in front of her, and she barely glances up fro the tv or Facebook.


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## GTdad

samyeagar said:


> See here's the problem with this...we have a casual dress code at work, jeans and polos, but t-shirts are not allowed. I usually push it a bit further and wear jeans and a plain tee. Today, I was coming back into the building, and the security guard stopped me to tell me about a conversation he was part of. One of the managers with a group of other women saw me heading out the door earlier and she mentioned that she really ought to talk to me about following the dress code, but the general consensus was to just let it go because they didn't want to lose their eye candy. Part of me loved it, and another part of me hated it because I loved it. I don't think I would eat it up nearly as much, nor have the feelings of guilt if my wife was more vocal...and yes, we've talked about this.


I generally roll my eyes at the typical internet thing of folks talking about how hot they are, or how they look much younger than they are, but this struck a chord with me in the context of this thread, so you all will have to excuse me if this comes across as douchey or hypocritical given my first couple of lines:

I'm 52, and I think I'm rocking 52. I'm fit and still more of a triangle than a pear. Granted, it was 17 years ago, but when I left my last job the ladies there presented me with an award for "Best Ass". It was a DA's office, and I suppose was a little baudy at times.

But here's the point: I may be a Words of Affirmation guy, because even though I'm pretty confident in my appearance, even at my advanced Crypt-Keeper years, it would mean the world to me to hear that from my wife. Even just once.


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## GTdad

heartsbeating said:


> I'm curious to those who don't receive compliments (and maybe that's not your wife's style) - do you compliment her?


Yes. Maybe too much. Maybe those words have lost any real meaning for her.


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## Anonymous07

I used to compliment my husband, but I have kind of backed off since he never really says anything to me. I can't remember the last time he complimented my looks. He used to back in the day, but it has been a long time. I told him about a month ago(the last time I complimented him) how sexy I find him when he goes jogging, especially when pushing the stroller with our son(very hot!). I do still think he is attractive physically, but his actions and attitude have been a turn off.


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## Blossom Leigh

Its hard for me to understand lack of compliments in a relationship whichever side it doesn't come from. Makes me sad for those persons. I call my H handsome in a very sweet loving voice almost every day he walks out the door unless we are sideways for some reason. I think personality does enter the picture because he does it less frequently than me and he is the introvert and I am the extrovert, but when he does, it is at a time I am feeling my worst and it lifts me out of the pain. It is deeply valuable in relationships without question.


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## heartsbeating

samyeagar said:


> I am in decent shape, former swimmer and gymnast, lean, 8 pack abs, not a whole lot of bulk. She does have some pictures of me that are routinely the wall paper on her phone, and that she will show off to friends, and I know she brags about me to friends because some of her friends have said things, so I know she finds me attractive, it's just near impossible for her to verbalize it to me, and it is kind of disheartening to get out of the shower, water dripping off me, walking naked in front of her, and she barely glances up fro the tv or Facebook.


I'm curious about this - when women brag to friends, or perhaps relay back to their husband's what others have commented, I'd hazard a guess that this is their way of feeling proud and demonstrating their attraction. Who can relate to doing this?

Personally I'm the opposite. I will compliment and show my husband that I'm attracted to him but I do not brag to friends about him. I express this stuff on TAM because of the context of it being a marriage forum. In front of friends, and with him present, I'll thank and acknowledge something he's done. Beyond that, the admiration is for him and that's who I communicate it to.


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## I Notice The Details

heartsbeating said:


> I'm curious about this - when women brag to friends, or perhaps relay back to their husband's what others have commented, I'd hazard a guess that this is their way of feeling proud and demonstrating their attraction. Who can relate to doing this?
> 
> Personally I'm the opposite. I will compliment and show my husband that I'm attracted to him but I do not brag to friends about him. I express this stuff on TAM because of the context of it being a marriage forum. In front of friends, and with him present, I'll thank and acknowledge something he's done. Beyond that, the admiration is for him and that's who I communicate it to.



:iagree: My wife is the same way. She doesn't brag to friends, she communicates to me.


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## Blossom Leigh

I Notice The Details said:


> :iagree: My wife is the same way. She doesn't brag to friends, she communicates to me.


Ditto, same here.


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## SimplyAmorous

> *samyeagar said*:
> I am in decent shape, former swimmer and gymnast, lean, 8 pack abs, not a whole lot of bulk. She does have some pictures of me that are routinely the wall paper on her phone, and that she will show off to friends, and I know she brags about me to friends because some of her friends have said things, so I know she finds me attractive, *it's just near impossible for her to verbalize it to me, and it is kind of disheartening to get out of the shower, water dripping off me, walking naked in front of her, and she barely glances up fro the tv or Facebook*.


I really don't understand this.. I mean I get the idea that we are proud to have a Hot guy on our arm & all.. yet that is something internal we beam about... (and it stops there -more below).... Yet in private.. the comments go silent TO THE MAN.. but he's the one who would appreciate it the very most.. :scratchhead:

I am more the type that would have a hard time restraining my mouth & what I was feeling in those moments..it's so much FUN to verbalize it...to see the look on his face...and just what it does for him.. 

The only reason I wouldn't is.. if I felt he was taking my admiration for granted.. like an "in one ear & out the other" feeling....that would stop me in my tracks... 



> *heartsbeating said*: Personally I'm the opposite. I will compliment and show my husband that I'm attracted to him but I do not brag to friends about him. I express this stuff on TAM because of the context of it being a marriage forum. In front of friends, and with him present, I'll thank and acknowledge something he's done. Beyond that, the admiration is for him and that's who I communicate it to.


 I am this way too (believe it or not)... although very open here on this forum... not in real life in this context.... never anything about my husbands body or looks...any pics I would carry is of both of us....there is no tight abs, he was never even in sports, he's never been one having women salivate over him..

He's just a Good guy...I will say.... I always love when another uplifts him in my presence though!!! (this could be women or men)..... I also get a charge out of another woman being "extra" friendly to him... and I joke she might like him or something.. Cause he is kinda quiet... so if a conversation would linger with a woman, I just puff it up a little. 

I think I like to get a little jealous, it rises something in me.


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## Blossom Leigh

I used to never be jealous, but now THIS man brings it out in me. Out of all of the guys I've dated (a lot) he is the only one where I really noticed it. I always had problems with ex GF trying to edge into my relationships, more times than I can count, so I never trust ex's GF and can smell one headed for my man a mile away, but my attitude to the guy was "handle it or I'm gone, I dont tolerate that." 

But now if a girl pays my H attention, I am all eyes, assessing. Paying very close attention, but not in a mean way. So far, post affair, he is vigilant about boundaries and wrapping me up in himself. Makes me fawn even more out of gratitude, which I find fuels a lot of my fawning towards him.


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## samyeagar

I think this might be one of those situations where TAM is just not representative of the real world. My experience with this coincides with what most of the men I know experience. Very little, if any verbal affirmation from the women in their lives with regards to the physical.

In society at large, it is hammered into us men that we are to verbally tell our women that they are beautiful, that they are sexy, that we are attracted to them, but very little of that is directed to how women should do the same for their men.

My wife and I have discussed this, and it is simply one of those things she never learned how to do, or even that it was needed, or appreciated by men. In fact, she had always thought it was something that would make men uncomfortable...I just can't understand that type of thinking at all, but there it is...Her experiences with her ex husband and ex boyfriends though...as she puts it...they did enough of that for themselves to need anything from her


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## Blossom Leigh

I wasnt raised to fawn, it just happens with me.


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## SimplyAmorous

> *samyeagar said*: I think this might be one of those situations where TAM is just not representative of the real world. My experience with this coincides with what most of the men I know experience. Very little, if any verbal affirmation from the women in their lives with regards to the physical.


 I am sure this is true, we are just a bunch of visual expressive women here I guess...and high drivers... but really..your wife beats us all on that front!...you may be lacking in the verbal...but not in the physical [email protected]## that's her mode of affirmation to you...and that's BIG...

Then there is me.. I may be lacking in the "Rough" outta him... but nothing in the "Emotional ~ mushy"... I know I have to pick my battles ....realizing it's a bit high on the one end so it makes up for the lack on the other.. how I look at it many times anyway...


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## Anonymous07

samyeagar said:


> in decent shape, former swimmer and gymnast, lean, 8 pack abs, not a whole lot of bulk. She does have some pictures of me that are routinely the wall paper on her phone, and that she will show off to friends, and I know she brags about me to friends because some of her friends have said things, so I know she finds me attractive, it's just near impossible for her to verbalize it to me, and it is kind of disheartening to get out of the shower, water dripping off me, walking naked in front of her, and she barely glances up fro the tv or Facebook.


My husband acts like your wife. 

I would consider myself in good shape, active, hour glass body. He used to compliment me, but I haven't heard it in a long time. I can walk around in a sexy dress and he won't say a word to me. I get dolled up and it's like I didn't do anything different. If I walk around naked, it seems to take him time before he even notices.


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## Married but Happy

It's almost embarassing the amount of positive feedback and comments I get from her. And then she shows me she means it.


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## lifeistooshort

I tell my husband he's sexy, particularly during and after sex. I know he loves hearing it and I suspect he's a tad insecure because he's 19 years older then me, but I really do think he's sexy. He keeps himself in great shape and has a sexy bass voice.....I tell him he could've been a phone sex operator. But I'll admit I don't tell him everyday. Sometimes I think he really likes hearing it during sex because it confirms that i'm really into him, not that he wouldn't like it otherwise but I wonder if it would have the same effect. Guys, what do you think?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## heartsbeating

samyeagar said:


> I think this might be one of those situations where TAM is just not representative of the real world. My experience with this coincides with what most of the men I know experience. Very little, if any verbal affirmation from the women in their lives with regards to the physical.


I agree with SA - she is likely demonstrating her attraction in other ways and those other ways aren't be taken for granted (not that you are). 

Thinking on this, aside from maybe one or two close friends, I wouldn't know if friends verbalize to their husbands on how sexy they are. I see the respect, admiration and attraction demonstrated though. A woman I'm getting to know, developing a friendship, was looking at a photo of her husband on her phone and said to me, 'God, he's sexy!' then she turned her phone to show me. I responded, 'Yes, he is.' She grinned like a giddy school-girl. I have no idea whether she verbalizes that to him or not. And thinking further, I haven't shown her a photo of my husband or made a comment like this to her about him. We both dig our men though.


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## Lyris

My husband doesn't like compliments, they make him uncomfortable. And he rarely - very rarely - gives them.

It's probably the only real sticking point in our relationship. But it's not going to change and I'm not leaving him over it, so there's no point worrying about it.

He demonstrates his love and attraction for me, and that's enough.


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## Holland

lifeistooshort said:


> I tell my husband he's sexy, particularly during and after sex. I know he loves hearing it and I suspect he's a tad insecure because he's 19 years older then me, but I really do think he's sexy. He keeps himself in great shape and *has a sexy bass voice.....I tell him he could've been a phone sex operator.* But I'll admit I don't tell him everyday. Sometimes I think he really likes hearing it during sex because it confirms that i'm really into him, not that he wouldn't like it otherwise but I wonder if it would have the same effect. Guys, what do you think?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Mr H has the sexiest voice, oh my. He has such a power over me with that voice.


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## samyeagar

lifeistooshort said:


> I tell my husband he's sexy, particularly during and after sex. I know he loves hearing it and I suspect he's a tad insecure because he's 19 years older then me, but I really do think he's sexy. He keeps himself in great shape and has a sexy bass voice.....I tell him he could've been a phone sex operator. But I'll admit I don't tell him everyday. Sometimes I think he really likes hearing it during sex because it confirms that i'm really into him, not that he wouldn't like it otherwise but I wonder if it would have the same effect. Guys, what do you think?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Hearing it in the bedroom is always nice, but it's easy to be sexy when you're well...having sex  For me though, it would have a bigger impact if I was outside all sweaty, splitting firewood...

I know she finds me sexy, attractive, and as SA, and heartisbeating have said, she does show it in ways other than verbally.


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## moxy

Sam, I agree. If my partner were to compliment my looks or body or just me in general at a time when sex wasn't on the agenda, the impact would be greater. Being a high drive person, I'm never displeased when sex IS on the agenda, but, being appreciated on it's own without that motivation carries a different weight. Do you tell your wife that she is sexy/beautiful/pretty/attractive/whatever often?


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## treyvion

WorkingOnMe said:


> Fb was just an example. But no I can't remember one compliment in 22 years. Not when I finished my Navy service, not when I graduated college, not when I made partner. She seems to criticize a lot but acts like admiration would be giving away her power or something.
> 
> For the last 2 years I've told her she never has. She denies it but still doesn't do it.


That's not what you need in your corner.  This can be a competitive friend or associate, but it should not be in your corner.


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## lifeistooshort

samyeagar said:


> Hearing it in the bedroom is always nice, but it's easy to be sexy when you're well...having sex  For me though, it would have a bigger impact if I was outside all sweaty, splitting firewood...
> 
> I know she finds me sexy, attractive, and as SA, and heartisbeating have said, she does show it in ways other than verbally.


That's good to keep in mind. It's not like I never tell him he's sexy outside the bedroom, because I do, it's just not as often. And we're pretty close, hold hands and touch each other non-sexually a lot, but maybe I should tell him more.


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## firebelly1

samyeagar said:


> ...to get out of the shower, water dripping off me, walking naked in front of her, and she barely glances up fro the tv or Facebook.


Oh. My. Lovely image.

Well, sorry Sam. I know the feeling. My ex was the same way. I could do naked cartwheels - he wouldn't look up from the computer. But, he also didn't have sex with me, and that isn't your problem, so hopefully that can be consolation.


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## samyeagar

moxy said:


> Sam, I agree. If my partner were to compliment my looks or body or just me in general at a time when sex wasn't on the agenda, the impact would be greater. Being a high drive person, I'm never displeased when sex IS on the agenda, but, being appreciated on it's own without that motivation carries a different weight. *Do you tell your wife that she is sexy/beautiful/pretty/attractive/whatever often*?


Multiple times daily, in and out of the bedroom, and not just in a sexual way...when it comes to her, how I see her, I really have no filter...I just tell her.


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## TheCuriousWife

samyeagar said:


> It is kind of disheartening to get out of the shower, water dripping off me, walking naked in front of her, and she barely glances up fro the tv or Facebook.


Sigh. I know this too well. 

I go out of my way to catch glimpses of my husband. When he gets out of the shower, and his hair is all rustled up, and he's all wet. I just want to stare and drool. 

No kidding, Every single time I look at him clothed or unclothed, I think to myself how attractive he is. I used to verbalize this a lot, but he doesn't seem to enjoy the compliments, or finds them insincere. So I keep it to myself, except for maybe once a day.

On the other hand, we can be in the shower together, all soaped up, and he will have his back to me, completely uninterested, and will shower and get out without a single peek, touch, or verbal acknowledgement. 

I try to wear provocative clothing, no bra, short shorts, etc. And he won't even look up from the tv. 

In the last year I've gained about 10 pounds. I don't like my stomach anymore, and I feel unsexy. Part of me wants to lose the weight, and look good. But another part says, "why bother." He doesn't seem to care what I look like, what's 10 pounds?


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## samyeagar

firebelly1 said:


> Oh. My. Lovely image.
> 
> Well, sorry Sam. I know the feeling. My ex was the same way. I could do naked cartwheels - he wouldn't look up from the computer. But, he also didn't have sex with me, and that isn't your problem, *so hopefully that can be consolation*.


Ahhh...you have struck something here. And oh boy, when I have gone down this avenue here before, I got ripped a new a$$hole.

The thing with sex as a barometer of attractiveness, of how attracted a person is to you...that can get kind of difficult. People have sex with people they aren't particularly attracted to a lot...they have sex with people who are otherwise disgusting human beings, so using sex as a measure of how attracted one is to another, isn't always a good measure.


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## Anonymous07

I was all dolled up for my cousin's wedding over the weekend, feeling fairly attractive, and surprise, surprise my husband didn't say a word to me about it. 

I told him he looked great with a


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## heartsbeating

TheCuriousWife said:


> In the last year I've gained about 10 pounds. I don't like my stomach anymore, and I feel unsexy. Part of me wants to lose the weight, and look good. But another part says, "why bother." He doesn't seem to care what I look like, what's 10 pounds?


Could you do it for yourself and not for external validation, but just because of how you feel within yourself?


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## heartsbeating

Anonymous07 said:


> I was all dolled up for my cousin's wedding over the weekend, feeling fairly attractive, and surprise, surprise my husband didn't say a word to me about it.
> 
> I told him he looked great with a


My husband is forthcoming with complimenting me but I if I compliment his appearance when we're going out followed by playfully giving myself a compliment too, 'And I'm looking kinda foxy myself...' he LOVES this hahah. I don't do it very often.


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## Blossom Leigh

heartsbeating said:


> My husband is forthcoming with complimenting me but I if I compliment his appearance when we're going out followed by playfully giving myself a compliment too, 'And I'm looking kinda foxy myself...' he LOVES this hahah. I don't do it very often.



My H likes that too


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