# Breast feeding.



## Gaia

I figured we could have a bit of a discussion on this ladies. Men too if you feel like posting your thoughts and opinions. 


Now... I hear and see all these cases of women breast feeding their children up to five and over. I'm sitting here wondering how the hell that is possible. I get that children will stop on their own so to speak. I'm just baffled because each of my kids stopped at just under a year with their first tooth. They went a few days or weeks without breast milk and i tried again to make sure they were done nursing. I knew they were done because they wouldn't latch on, would turn their head and just give a puzzle look or smile. 

Seriously... their lips were shut tight! My son stopped at six months and both daughters at seven months. I guess it just puzzles me as to why a five or even eight year old would still want breast milk after tasting things like hmm.. chips, juice, candy? 

I can honestly say... when my kids got a taste of baby food... oh it was on! they wanted nothing but food and were eager to try things like juice and regular cow milk and even tea! Anyway it's just something I puzzled over for awhile. I wouldn't mind others sharing when their kids stopped and their opinions on this.


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## 827Aug

I have wondered the same thing.:scratchhead: My son abandoned me at 11 months and my twins stopped at seven months.


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## tobio

I bf all my children and from the oldest, they fed til 3.5 years, 18 months, and the last two both a year old.

Extended bf (xbf) is something I wholeheartedly support. It isn't necessarily about the child having it like they would, say, any of the foods/drink you mentioned, but is a bonding experience for the child. It provides security and a safe place - the association of a mother's arms.

Nutritionally it is very valuable. For example, my eldest two are vegetarian and I know breastmilk is valuable for the long chain fatty acids that they need.

I also believe in self-weaning, that is, letting the child stop feeding when they are happy to. I was feeding my eldest when I was pg with my second and tandem fed after the birth.


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## Gaia

See that puzzle me tobio... mainly because I have not had any of my kids want to latch on to the nipple after seven months. I understand it's a bonding experience and I am not saying I'm against that. I'm just curious as to how it could go beyond five years or older. 

My kids are happy with hugs and snuggles and kisses or even sitting in my lap when it comes to bonding and sense of security. I mean it literally when i say.. they ditched the breastmilk the moment they tasted baby food or solid food or both. 

I'm wondering... does this mean they just become detached? Would our bond not be as strong as those who breastfeed longer? That actually worries me a bit... They do seem in a hurry to become independent in a sense.


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## I Notice The Details

Our son stopped around 12 months as I recall. My Princess wanted to keep nursing longer hoping this would help his immune system in the long run...but the baby made the choice and preferred a bottle around this time. Not sure why.

On a side note..it was so beautiful to watch my wife nursing our son. Very touching and nurturing. My wife is a great Mom!


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## Gaia

See that's interesting. Some make the choice to refuse so early on... it just has me curious. Of course I did hear something about a 23 year old breast feeding from his mother... now I'm sorry but that is weird. Bonding experience or not... imo that is way too old.


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## I Notice The Details

Gaia said:


> See that's interesting. Some make the choice to refuse so early on... it just has me curious. Of course I did hear something about a 23 year old breast feeding from his mother... now I'm sorry but that is weird. Bonding experience or not... imo that is way too old.


Yes I agree Gaia, when the child can walk up and pull down the bra on his own...it is too old for breast feeding...but I am sure there are exceptions. 

I also find it interesting that some cultures and people totally cover up when breast feeding in public, while others are totally out in the open. I was walking off of a Southwest airplane last year, and there was a women nursing her baby in one of the front seats..with her breast 100% exposed. It didn't offend me at all, but I am sure others would scoff at that.


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## Maricha75

I don't get the ones who are school aged (or even older, as you pointed out, Gaia.. weird.) breastfeeding. I did extended breastfeeding with all three of mine. My oldest ended two weeks before his second birthday. And, in his case, he only stopped because he had seizures (epilepsy) and was hospitalized/drugged up. He was very lethargic, wanting nothing to do with the breast, even for comfort. I think it was harder on me than on him. 

My second one, I breastfed her until she was about 15 or 16 months old. I was about 5 months pregnant when I stopped. The only reason I did stop was because my nipples were getting raw/irritated. Otherwise, she'd have gone to 2 years as well.

My youngest, he was 2 years old. I believe it was his 2nd birthday that it ended.

My sisters' kids all stopped at 12 months or less. I'm the "odd" one in the bunch.


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## I Notice The Details

Nothing odd there Maricha. My wife would have keep nursing longer if my son would have wanted it. I consider you and your kids lucky!


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## Maricha75

I Notice The Details said:


> Yes I agree Gaia, when the child can walk up and pull down the bra on his own...it is too old for breast feeding...but I am sure there are exceptions.


Mine could walk over and lift up my shirt and bra before they turned a year old. 



I Notice The Details said:


> I also find it interesting that some cultures and people totally cover up when breast feeding in public, while others are totally out in the open. I was walking off of a Southwest airplane last year, and there was a women nursing her baby in one of the front seats..with her breast 100% exposed. It didn't offend me at all, but I am sure others would scoff at that.


I never covered up. While I didn't just let it all hang out, I didn't cover them with a wrap or anything. IMO, THAT just draws more attention to what you're doing.


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## Maricha75

I Notice The Details said:


> Nothing odd there Maricha. My wife would have keep nursing longer if my son would have wanted it. I consider you and your kids lucky!


Odd isn't really the right word, I guess lol. More like of the three of us, I was the one who chose/was able to nurse longer... and that makes me the "odd woman out" in our family.


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## Starstarfish

I unfortunately can't provide much insight here. As my thyroid condition wasn't finally properly medicated until afterward, I always had a serious supply problem and my son self-weened at about four months, despite all my best efforts. 

I'm all for extended breastfeeding which is far more common in more traditional societies than ours. Indeed, in countries where proper nutrition, hygiene, and health is a potential problem its a lifesaver for many children because of the added immunity benefits, further that it can be provided when there is no sterile water available for mixing formula. 

Which indeed our diet might be one of the reasons that kids wean faster. I'm guessing that there's little to no candy or juice available to your average two year old in a traditional living tribe on Papua New Guinea, so they've far less of an incentive to desire an alternative. 

Which, at this point - America's infant mortality rate is quickly falling behind other Western countries, and at this point we are now behind Cuba, Guam, and the Northern Mariana Islands. Ours SIDS rates are higher than many Western nations as well. So - it might be time to ponder if longer-term breastfeeding might be part of that equation. 

However, as a society, we are rather adverse to the idea (we seem to have a love/hate relationship with breastfeeding as it is.) I mean - if you want to get some responses on this - go look up some of the flak from that one scene in Game of Thrones with Lysa Arryn (which was obviously totally fake, btw - there's no way that perfect round boob went on that woman's chest, judging by her face.) People being called pedophiles and perverts for breastfeeding "past the point a child can talk and remember the experience."

Which - yes, I agree, the GoT scene was a bit beyond even international standards - that kid was like 9. But - the fact is that's an underlying thought we seem to have about extended breastfeeding in general. This weird sense that it's being done for some kind of sexual pleasure by the mother if done at any any past a year (which seems to be the accepted standard.). Which - if you've ever had mastitis, cracked nipples, or gotten kicked in the face by a two year old while putting on their shoes or holding them in your lap for any other reason, please let me know how pleasurable that is. Lol.


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## LadyOfTheLake

I didn't bf...it's not my thing...


I don't get the extended bfing either. I think it's more for the mothers needing to feel needed than for any benefit to the child.


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## Mavash.

I had to force all 3 of my to wean. They were quite attached to me. I did it slowly starting at 12 months and finishing at 14-18 months. They would have kept going had I let them.


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## Gaia

Let me clarify. As stated earlier... I see no problem with breastfeeding up to... possibly four years old. I can understand that. What possessed me to make this thread was the video below. This video is what baffles me and what I don't understand. 



Breastfeeding...at 8. - YouTube


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## LadyOfTheLake

I should clarify, that by "extended" I mean the junior kindergarten age and up.


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## tobio

Gaia said:


> See that puzzle me tobio... mainly because I have not had any of my kids want to latch on to the nipple after seven months. I understand it's a bonding experience and I am not saying I'm against that. I'm just curious as to how it could go beyond five years or older.
> 
> My kids are happy with hugs and snuggles and kisses or even sitting in my lap when it comes to bonding and sense of security. I mean it literally when i say.. they ditched the breastmilk the moment they tasted baby food or solid food or both.
> 
> I'm wondering... does this mean they just become detached? Would our bond not be as strong as those who breastfeed longer? That actually worries me a bit... They do seem in a hurry to become independent in a sense.


I definitely remember my oldest two having a bf "break". For the oldest it lasted around two weeks around the age of 11 months, possibly a little bit older. I remember being a bit worried and upset, I kept offering but there was no interest at all, then two weeks later all was resumed as if the break had never happened!

It was a matter of 2/3 days with the next one, around the same age IIRC. I do wonder if they would have done for good if I hadn't kept offering. Who knows?

The bonding thing... Well I have thought about this before. I think of it like, a small child may come to mummy and want mummy milk as a means of comfort, say if they're upset. So you scoop them up, they feed for a minute, nod off in your arms and all is well again when they wake up.

But if they are *not* breastfed, then think about it. They come to mummy because they're upset, wanting comfort - in another form. So you would have picked them up, given them a cuddle, comforting words, a soothing rub on the back, stroked their hair, wiped their tears away... Different method but the same outcome: they're happy because mummy helped make it better. It's the attending to them and their needs that reinforces the bond, not the breastfeeding per se, if that makes sense?


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## Gaia

tobio said:


> I definitely remember my oldest two having a bf "break". For the oldest it lasted around two weeks around the age of 11 months, possibly a little bit older. I remember being a bit worried and upset, I kept offering but there was no interest at all, then two weeks later all was resumed as if the break had never happened!
> 
> It was a matter of 2/3 days with the next one, around the same age IIRC. I do wonder if they would have done for good if I hadn't kept offering. Who knows?
> 
> The bonding thing... Well I have thought about this before. I think of it like, a small child may come to mummy and want mummy milk as a means of comfort, say if they're upset. So you scoop them up, they feed for a minute, nod off in your arms and all is well again when they wake up.
> 
> But if they are *not* breastfed, then think about it. They come to mummy because they're upset, wanting comfort - in another form. So you would have picked them up, given them a cuddle, comforting words, a soothing rub on the back, stroked their hair, wiped their tears away... Different method but the same outcome: they're happy because mummy helped make it better. It's the attending to them and their needs that reinforces the bond, not the breastfeeding per se, if that makes sense?



Like I said.. I understand that concept when it's between 0-4 years... but any longer? I find it much harder to understand.


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## TCSRedhead

With my oldest daughter, we were separated hours after she was born and taken to an NICU over 5 hours away so bf wasn't possible for me (no milk ever came in actually).

I tried with my second daughter but after a week of not latching, she went to the bottle. 

This time with my son, he latched right away. I loved being able to bf him but my supply never net the demand (even with herbs). He literally was staying attached about 20 hours a day and still never getting 'full'. I started supplementing and at about 9 weeks, he stopped. He's now 9 months and still snuggles in to me. 

I can say that my bonding with my babies has been the same with and without bf. My second daughter has always been super close to me. 

I would have preferred to bf them all for a year but would have worked on weaning them around that time, just as I transitioned them from formula to milk at that age.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl

Yea. I don't judge, per se, but I do find it a bit odd when the kid is 5 and nursing.

My little one is 4 and I can't imagine her latched on 

I nursed my oldest until she was a year ish. My little one for 3 months. Different health issues.

I hated every minute but did it for the benefit of my kids. Was happy to be done with that. Egad.

But if my kid can order at a restaurant and then lift my shirt to nurse, that's...not happening in this house.


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## TCSRedhead

tobio said:


> I definitely remember my oldest two having a bf "break". For the oldest it lasted around two weeks around the age of 11 months, possibly a little bit older. I remember being a bit worried and upset, I kept offering but there was no interest at all, then two weeks later all was resumed as if the break had never happened!
> 
> It was a matter of 2/3 days with the next one, around the same age IIRC. I do wonder if they would have done for good if I hadn't kept offering. Who knows?
> 
> The bonding thing... Well I have thought about this before. I think of it like, a small child may come to mummy and want mummy milk as a means of comfort, say if they're upset. So you scoop them up, they feed for a minute, nod off in your arms and all is well again when they wake up.
> 
> But if they are *not* breastfed, then think about it. They come to mummy because they're upset, wanting comfort - in another form. So you would have picked them up, given them a cuddle, comforting words, a soothing rub on the back, stroked their hair, wiped their tears away... Different method but the same outcome: they're happy because mummy helped make it better. It's the attending to them and their needs that reinforces the bond, not the breastfeeding per se, if that makes sense?


I agree - the bonding isn't the bf but the closeness, security and comfort of being snuggled in to mom. Same thing with co-sleeping.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ikaika

Both of my sons stopped at about 18 months. One early morning my oldest was crying. Wife is tired, asked me to take him out of the basinet to bring him to her. We had a "breast feeding chair" in the room. Pick him up and hold him tight against my bare chest. He tries to latch onto me "aww".


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## gbrad

I think once the child can take regular food, the breast feeding is done. It is great for nutrition and bonding early on, but after that there are other ways to bond. I also do not agree with breastfeeding in public. I know that my mother never breastfed me or my siblings in public. She pumped breast milk and made sure that she had some with her when she went out somewhere with the baby if they got hungry. Also that made it so it wasn't only mom who did the feeding. Dad got a chance to bond as well in the feeding process early on.


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## that_girl

Women go in public more than women did in the past. We are busy. Babies need to eat. It's a breast. Get over it.

Nothing worse than being asked to feed my baby in a freakin' bathroom. Seriously? would YOU eat in a bathroom? I covered myself and the baby ate. No one saw a thing.

Women walk around with cleavage galore....and yet when something so natural as breastfeeding happens, everyone gets all bent about it.

No no. Breastfeed in public!


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## LadyOfTheLake

It's funny, I have no problem going topless on the beach....but I'd never ever BF in public.


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## that_girl

Yea, but you didn't BF at all. When a kid is hungry, they need to eat.

We over sexualize the breast. We are mammals....mammary glands...for milk.

I just think people need to take the "sexualization" of breastfeeding away. That irritates me to no end.


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## Ikaika

that_girl said:


> Women go in public more than women did in the past. We are busy. Babies need to eat. It's a breast. Get over it.
> 
> Nothing worse than being asked to feed my baby in a freakin' bathroom. Seriously? would YOU eat in a bathroom? I covered myself and the baby ate. No one saw a thing.
> 
> Women walk around with cleavage galore....and yet when something so natural as breastfeeding happens, everyone gets all bent about it.
> 
> No no. Breastfeed in public!


I have no problem with public breast feeding. In fact, I don't think I have ever heard a story here about someone being asked to go to the bathroom to breast feed. 

You see it all the time where I live... yes the woman covers up.


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## gbrad

that_girl said:


> Yea, but you didn't BF at all. When a kid is hungry, they need to eat.
> 
> We over sexualize the breast. We are mammals....mammary glands...for milk.
> 
> I just think people need to take the "sexualization" of breastfeeding away. That irritates me to no end.


I get that some women are going to do it in public. If they don't want people to have wandering eyes, then cover up. Its not sexualization of breastfeeding, just of the breast. I still think it is not necessary, pump or have some formula ready for when out in public. And that way it also gives others than just the mom a chance to bond while feeding.


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## Ikaika

When the missionaries first showed up in Hawaii from Boston, they were shocked to see all the women walking around topless. 

They quickly gave them tops to wear. The next day many of them had cut holes out around the clothing where the breast were. Why? Easy access to breast feeding 

It is no doubt cultural. We have no qualms about such activity. Not sexual, it is practical.


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## that_girl

gbrad said:


> I get that some women are going to do it in public. If they don't want people to have wandering eyes, then cover up. Its not sexualization of breastfeeding, just of the breast. I still think it is not necessary, pump or have some formula ready for when out in public. And that way it also gives others than just the mom a chance to bond while feeding.


There's a thing called nipple confusion which messes up a baby and their sucking. 

Formula isn't what some women want to feed their child. Some women can't pump worth crap-- I was such woman. I could NOT pump. Omg. It was so frustrating.

If you don't like to see it, don't look


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## Maricha75

In addition to what TG said, gbrad, I was one who COULD NOT pump enough. I tried. I produced what the babies needed and that was it. And to give them formula instead? HA! My kids refused it. And yes, it was tried by my husband to try to give me a break. 

As for not liking women breastfeeding in public...agree with TG... GET OVER IT. I was at Walmart when my oldest was a couple months old. He was hungry. I asked an employee where I could sit to nurse him. SHE put a chair in the ladies bathroom. That was the first AND LAST time I ever fed ANY child in a bathroom. After that, I sat on a bench in the store. You don't like it? Don't look. It really is that simple. I was discreet. You couldn't see any of my breast. I just refused to cover my baby's head. Again, don't like? Don't look. Get over it. 

If I was able to have more children, I would absolutely be doing the same thing again. It's fine to see a woman, in public, wearing a swatch of cloth attached with floss, but it's not ok for a woman to be feeding her baby? Thank GOD my husband isn't so closed minded about it... And HE is one who doesn't want anyone seeing his wife's body! If he has no problem with it, then those who do can gtf over it.


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## LadyOfTheLake

that_girl said:


> Yea, but you didn't BF at all. .


I did for a few days with each kid. Just long enough to realize I wasn't going to do it any longer than that.

Swapping bodily fluids in public is gross no matter who is doing it, adult or infant. It's not the fact that an infant is eating that is the problem, it's how they are doing it. A baby drinking from a bottle or cup or eating from a spoon doesn't bother anyone. A baby suckling on an uncovered breast is gross.


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## that_girl

lol Ok. Gross is a choice word and your opinion.

Swapping body fluids? Biology classes teach you that mammals make milk for their babies--we are mammals. It's not gross, it's biology.

I hated BFing but I did it because I'm cheap and I didn't want to pump formula into them. Plus, the babies get the immunities they need to fight off diseases better. Your babies got the best shet! Colostrum is amazing for newborns 

But to say it's gross is rather rude. I am not judging you for not breastfeeding....and I could...but what's it to me. I wasn't breastfed and I'm awesome 

I don't care if my baby feeding bothered anyone. If people are going to sit and stare, that is their business. I was never in the spotlight, but i wasn't hiding either.


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## Maricha75

Gross? Really? Huh. You know, the only one who had a problem with my sisters and me even attempting to breastfeed was my own mother. My DAD applauded our choice. He even got pissed off when people tried to make us go into bathrooms. My dad was born and raised right here in Michigan. He just turned 63 last year. Now, if THAT overprotective man had no problem with his daughters breastfeeding in public, and didn't find it "gross" or "disgusting", then, IMO, others need to get over their own hangups on this.

You better believe that when my daughter starts having kids I will absolutely support her, no matter how she chooses to feed her kids. And, if she chooses to breastfeed them, even in public, she will have both her dad and me behind her, 100%... as well as her aunts and uncles and grandparents.


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## that_girl

I can think of many things that are gross. Roadkill, draining a cyst, some mystery brown stain on the carpet, being vomited on.

Feeding my child? Never gross.


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## LadyOfTheLake

that_girl said:


> lol Ok. Gross is a choice word and your opinion.
> 
> Swapping body fluids? Biology classes teach you that mammals make milk for their babies--we are mammals. It's not gross, it's biology.
> 
> I hated BFing but I did it because I'm cheap and I didn't want to pump formula into them.  Plus, the babies get the immunities they need to fight off diseases better. Your babies got the best shet! Colostrum is amazing for newborns
> 
> But to say it's gross is rather rude. I am not judging you for not breastfeeding....and I could...but what's it to me. I wasn't breastfed and I'm awesome
> 
> I don't care if my baby feeding bothered anyone. If people are going to sit and stare, that is their business. I was never in the spotlight, but i wasn't hiding either.


I don't mean to be rude, and I'm not judging. In the macro sense, I don't care how babies are fed, so long as they are fed. In the micro, in my personal sphere....ya I don't want those boundaries crossed with women doing that uncovered in public. Maybe its a cultural thing, but I was under the impression that Americans were more puritanical that us Canadians. Unless people are in a situation where partial nudity is expected, like the beach, I think everyone should stay properly attired. And that goes for those chicks who think they're a size 8 when they're really a 13 and squeeze themselves into itty bitty shirts and teeny tiny skirts and are oozing out of them. That is gross too.


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## coffee4me

I BF both my kids, it was the most physically demanding thing I've ever done in my life. I knew it was what was best for them and I'm very stubborn so I made up my mind that for the first 6 months they would only have breast milk and I stuck to it.

With my first child, I had lots of problems and a lactation specialist could not help. My nipples simply had to toughen up. I sat through agonizing pain with every feeding, bleeding and cracked nipples and tears for 3 months. My son fed every 2/3 hours so it was non stop. 

I went back to work at 8 weeks and I pumped 4 times a day during work, so he would have milk the next day. I worked a 9 hour day and then woke every 2/3 hours every night to feed him. He weaned off the day feedings at 6 months and the night feeding at about 10 months. 

My second child was a breeze, same routine but she BF longer till about 13 months. I was a lot of work and I'd do it all again, it was worth the effort. 

I don't know about the extended breast feeding because I wasn't a SAHM so I'm not sure if my children would have BF longer if I were. I'm sure that its just a form of bonding for those children. I don't think my children are any less bonded to me because they only nursed for a year.

Edited to add: I nursed my kids when I was out and about. I could care less what anyone thought. I'm not out there flaunting my breasts, I'm feeding a hungry infant.


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## that_girl

I don't know about other places, but here in Los Angeles, people bf in public and no one cares much any more.

People get so weird about breasts. lol. I don't cover my dog's teets....same diff if you think about it.


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## Maricha75

that_girl said:


> I don't know about other places, but here in Los Angeles, people bf in public and no one cares much any more.
> 
> People get so weird about breasts. lol. I don't cover my dog's teets....same diff if you think about it.


My oldest was born in Northeast lower Michigan. My daughter was born in Chicago. My youngest was born in West Palm Beach, Florida. The ONLY place I had any kind of issue was in northern Michigan. Go figure... further away from "civilzation", more issues.


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## Ikaika

that_girl said:


> I don't know about other places, but here in Los Angeles, people bf in public and no one cares much any more.
> 
> People get so weird about breasts. lol. I don't cover my dog's teets....same diff if you think about it.


Hawaii, no problem. What is really gross is watching my 13 year old son eating. "How much food can I cram into my mouth at one time." LOL


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## Coffee Amore

LadyOfTheLake said:


> I did for a few days with each kid. Just long enough to realize I wasn't going to do it any longer than that.
> 
> Swapping bodily fluids in public is gross no matter who is doing it, adult or infant. It's not the fact that an infant is eating that is the problem, it's how they are doing it. A baby drinking from a bottle or cup or eating from a spoon doesn't bother anyone. A baby suckling on an uncovered breast is gross.


Wow! How interesting. The baby is eating the way babies are supposed to; the way they have for thousands of years of human history. It's cheaper than formula, very convenient, there aren't any bottles to sterlize or carry around. An all around win-win situation if the mother is willing and can do it. A baby eating the way he or she is supposed to grosses you out, but if the baby eats in an artificial man made way (i.e. bottles) it's ok. Alrighty then...

I don't see anything gross about breastfeeding a child in public. Just because a breast is involved doesn't make the act of breastfeeding sexual or intimate. I haven't seen anyone comment about it here, never heard anyone call it gross. Like drerio, where I live, you see women breastfeeding in public. Some use a coverup, but some others I've seen put the baby or toddler under the top. I'm so glad no one here thinks it's gross for a baby to be fed by its mother in a natural way. I'm glad people here are more comfortable with the nourishment the human body can provide.


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## that_girl

And giving babies cow milk at that. lol. 

Cow milk is for baby cows.

People milk is for baby people.


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## LadyOfTheLake

drerio said:


> Hawaii, no problem. What is really gross is watching my 13 year old son eating. "How much food can I cram into my mouth at one time." LOL


I have found Hawaiian women, those who are native or of Filipino descent to be shy and soft spoken. I can't see any of the Hawaiian ladies I know sitting in public with their breasts hanging out, BFing. I don't know if the same can be said for American women in Hawaii as I never had much to do with them. My family married into a Filipino family. 

I've traveled all around the Caribbean, and only ever seen women covering themselves when doing that.


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## that_girl

I don't think I've ever seen a woman with her breasts hanging out in public, breastfeeding or not.


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## TCSRedhead

Referring to bf as 'gross' does sound judgmental.

I am not offended by bf in public. I did it a few times with my son. Asking a woman to bf in a bathroom is gross. No one wants to eat where people sh1t. 

I do roll my eyes at all the hoopla back and forth about the issue. Is it really that big a deal? Stop being so sexually repressed that you can only consider breasts and any form of bodily contact as sexual. Seriously, it's not sexual, it's not gross, it's a mother feeding a child.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LadyOfTheLake

Coffee Amore said:


> Wow! How interesting. The baby is eating the way babies are supposed to; the way they have for thousands of years of human history. It's cheaper than formula, very convenient, there aren't any bottles to sterlize or carry around. An all around win-win situation if the mother is willing and can do it. A baby eating the way he or she is supposed to grosses you out, but if the baby eats in an artificial man made way (i.e. bottles) it's ok. Alrighty then...
> 
> I don't see anything gross about breastfeeding a child in public. Just because a breast is involved doesn't make the act of breastfeeding sexual or intimate. I haven't seen anyone comment about it here, never heard anyone call it gross. Like drerio, where I live, you see women breastfeeding in public. Some use a coverup, but some others I've seen put the baby or toddler under the top. I'm so glad no one here thinks it's gross for a baby to be fed by its mother in a natural way. I'm glad people here are more comfortable with the nourishment the human body can provide.


Oh there is nothing more convenient than formula LOL. Mix up a batch in the morning and someone else can feed the kid all day if need be!! NOW that is convenient. Especially with the ready to pour stuff, except it is ridiculously expensive. Hubs could feed the baby during the night so I could sleep. Well, we took shifts. He did half the night, I did half. No way was I getting stuck with all that nonsense just because I was born with boobs. 

Now, obviously, I am not a warm and fuzzy person and the thought of hugs and cuddles and bonding makes my skin crawl, so BFing most certainly doesn't appeal to me on ANY level. I interact with my children better now that they are well past the helpless blob stage. 

I am thankful that we as a species have progressed to the point that we aren't bound by our biology in such matters. Women can have children but don't have to be enslaved to the care of them as in past era's. Thank you Mr. Nestle!!


----------



## that_girl

Wow.

:rofl:

(delete snarky comment lol)


----------



## T&T

TCSRedhead said:


> Seriously, it's not sexual, it's not gross, it's a mother feeding a child.


Agreed, I don't give it a second thought. It's the most natural thing in the world. My sisters breast feed their babies in my living room. Who cares?

In public, same thing. Don't give it a second thought. It's a baby feeding!  I'm just glad they're getting a healthy meal.


----------



## Dollystanford

Breastfeeding too long just makes me think

BITTY!


----------



## TCSRedhead

Hugging and cuddling your child makes your skin crawl? Is that a true statement? I've never heard a mom express such a thing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Ikaika

LadyOfTheLake said:


> I have found Hawaiian women, those who are native or of Filipino descent to be shy and soft spoken. I can't see any of the Hawaiian ladies I know sitting in public with their breasts hanging out, BFing. I don't know if the same can be said for American women in Hawaii as I never had much to do with them. My family married into a Filipino family.
> 
> I've traveled all around the Caribbean, and only ever seen women covering themselves when doing that.


My family is of Hawaiian ancestry... not shy about breast feeding. My wife who is Japanese, was never shy about public breast feeding.


----------



## LadyOfTheLake

TCSRedhead said:


> Hugging and cuddling your child makes your skin crawl? Is that a true statement? I've never heard a mom express such a thing.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yup. It's more common than you'd think, but most women are afraid to admit it for fear of censure. People who know me, know I'm like this. It is what it is.


----------



## TCSRedhead

I won't thread jack this but that baffles me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## that_girl

My older daughter has sensory processing disorder and hated to be touched. It broke my heart. Thankfully she's getting better in her teens...but still...not a lot of touching with her. Our bonding was strained....but I nursed her for a year. 

I get it...But I never had the mindset that normal things are gross or wrong. I wanted to snuggle her. She wouldn't have it. haha stubborn from birth.


----------



## Ikaika

It is really hard to gross me out. Worked as an ECG tech in a major hospital prior to graduate school. Friday and Saturday night shifts (mostly in the ER). Second and third year of graduate school I was the Lead Teaching Assistant in the gross anatomy lab of the associated medical school. The body interest me... And the other day I was eating my lunch trying analyze how this NC basketball player ended up with a compound fracture due to compression stress. 

So breastfeeding, hardly gross.


----------



## Jane_Doe

I do really want to breastfeed when I have all the babies, but my sisters either weren't able to push past the pain, or the baby wouldn't latch at all, so I worry I won't be able to either, if that kind of thing is genetic. Plus with G-cups, I also worry about a big boob on a tiny face and suffocating the baby lol oh God is that possible?

Plus I think ME breastfeeding in public would be gross, but I don't think it is for other people. If I really had to do it and got flak for it, I'd go do it in the nearest night club or beach and point out that I'm showing the least flesh in the vicinity lol. 

But in all likelihood, being shy and horribly fearful of other people's judgements, I'd do it in my car behind the privacy windows or something.


----------



## gbrad

that_girl said:


> There's a thing called nipple confusion which messes up a baby and their sucking.
> 
> Formula isn't what some women want to feed their child. Some women can't pump worth crap-- I was such woman. I could NOT pump. Omg. It was so frustrating.
> 
> If you don't like to see it, don't look


Yes, because not looking is just so easy. I look at everyone when I am out and about, but again, that is not what it is about. 

I have read before that some women can not pump, I get that, so then there is formula to use. I have said this before, I don't believe that feeding a child should be left only up to the mother. I don't think it is right to leave the father out of it, or even other siblings.


----------



## that_girl

Formula? Read the ingredients on a can 

It is easy to not look "Oh she's feeding her baby" and MOVE ON. dang.

I'm so happy to know that people care so much about who feeds the baby....siblings, leaving the father out lol. It's about the baby. What the baby needs. If the baby gets formula, fine. But BFing is made just for that baby. There will be plenty of time for the father and siblings to feed the baby. You don't think it's "right" to leave people out. I guess Nature made a mistake there. I wonder if men could nurse...y'all got nips 

But to just suggest to a BF mother to use formula? Ew. I had to use formula with my 2nd and hated it.


----------



## Zanne

I believe the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding for the first year and longer (length of time unrestricted depending on the mother and child).

Personally, I would be uncomfortable with BF past 18 mos or so. I breastfed all five of my kids until 9mos to around 1yr and I had no qualms about doing so in public, although I would put a light blanket across my shoulder.

Coffee4me, I had a similiar issue with my dd latching on properly. Sooo painful - and it was honestly one of the only times I considered substituting a bottle instead, but I stuck it out. She is our third child of five, so it just depends how things go...not everyone is able to breastfeed.


----------



## that_girl

My aunt is a nurse and with my first, she said to stick it out the first 6 weeks and then things will get easier. 

She was right. I still didn't like it BUT at least it didn't hurt like a mofo.


----------



## LadyOfTheLake

that_girl said:


> I guess Nature made a mistake there. I wonder if men could nurse...y'all got nips
> .


When I told my OB that I didn't want to BF but that my DH wanted me to, he said "Well, he has nipples, let him do it!!"


----------



## gbrad

that_girl said:


> Formula? Read the ingredients on a can
> 
> It is easy to not look "Oh she's feeding her baby" and MOVE ON. dang.
> 
> I'm so happy to know that people care so much about who feeds the baby....siblings, leaving the father out lol. It's about the baby. What the baby needs. If the baby gets formula, fine. But BFing is made just for that baby. There will be plenty of time for the father and siblings to feed the baby. You don't think it's "right" to leave people out. I guess Nature made a mistake there. I wonder if men could nurse...y'all got nips
> 
> But to just suggest to a BF mother to use formula? Ew. I had to use formula with my 2nd and hated it.


You are right it is about the baby. And when children/babies are young they make bonds with people and who and how they interact with others impacts them. So yes, I care about who gets to feed them, just like anything else the roles should be shared. I never said women shouldn't breast feed. But in my family, all three children got breastmilk first and then a mix of that and formula after a few months and then were moved to regular foods as soon as possibly recommended by the doctor. We all turned out healthy.


----------



## Therealbrighteyes

that_girl said:


> Yea, but you didn't BF at all. When a kid is hungry, they need to eat.
> 
> We over sexualize the breast. We are mammals....mammary glands...for milk.
> 
> I just think people need to take the "sexualization" of breastfeeding away. That irritates me to no end.


Testify! Because many see the breast as a sexual thing only and therefore a baby nursing on it skeeves them out, women should be forced to use public restrooms to feed a child? Give me a break. 

Try going to a European country and telling a woman she should nurse her baby in a fecal riddled bathroom and you would have women AND men up in arms. Rightfully so. 

Aren't people on this site always crowing about biology and such? Guess what breasts are for in the biological scheme of things.


----------



## that_girl

Ya. Too much snark with that. Your man just wanted the best for his children. I wish I could have nursed my younger one a bit longer, but...I just wasn't producing! It was frustrating.

But...I wonder why men have nipples at all....

Thread jack LOL!


----------



## that_girl

gbrad said:


> You are right it is about the baby. And when children/babies are young they make bonds with people and who and how they interact with others impacts them. So yes, I care about who gets to feed them, just like anything else the roles should be shared. I never said women shouldn't breast feed. But in my family, all three children got breastmilk first and then a mix of that and formula after a few months and then were moved to regular foods as soon as possibly recommended by the doctor. We all turned out healthy.


Well, I'm glad.

I'd still breastfeed in public if I could.

I don't trust doctors much when it comes to my kids. Parents should do what feels right...not what comes from a book. 

I was never breastfed, like I said, and I'm amazing  :rofl: Doesn't bother me none until people get all crazy about breastfeeding in public is gross and that such. 

I won't cringe at a bottle of formula (like I did with my own kid every time. So yuck), and others don't need to cringe at my breast.


----------



## gbrad

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Testify! Because many see the breast as a sexual thing only and therefore a baby nursing on it skeeves them out, women should be forced to use public restrooms to feed a child? Give me a break.
> 
> Try going to a European country and telling a woman she should nurse her baby in a fecal riddled bathroom and you would have women AND men up in arms. Rightfully so.
> 
> Aren't people on this site always crowing about biology and such? Guess what breasts are for in the biological scheme of things.


I agree that nobody should be eating in a bathroom, that is gross. I also don't think breastfeeding in public is gross; more awkward and unnecessary. And when a woman is breastfeeding and continues to have a casual conversation with those around her, I don't get that at all. If you are at someones house for a party or such, what is wrong with just going into another room for that small period of time?


----------



## staarz21

I don't see how bf in public can still be such a huge deal. They have those "utter covers" (funny name) now that will cover you completely. I actually just bought one as I will be giving birth next week and fully intend on bf everywhere I need to go. 

I refused to BF my 2 year old (who stopped bf at about 4 months) in public because I was afraid someone may see my breast accidentally. I don't have that same issue anymore. I will pump again, but pumping doesn't always equal more milk. So, if I don't have any stored up, he will be on the breast in public with my utter cover. lol. 

As far as extended BF, I won't do it because it's not for me. I will BF for up to a year before I switch over to cow's milk. I did this with my 2 year old with formula. I BF my 2 year old for 4 months, then formula up to a year old. After that it was whole milk and the dr said that was completely fine. 

I do think BF a 5 year old is weird. I just don't see the benefits in BF a school-aged child. The bonding is already established, so that can't be it. The child has to grow up and get away from the breast. It's just a little abnormal.


----------



## that_girl

Awkward and unnecessary?

:rofl:

The baby needs to eat! 

People trip me out. Carry on with this. I'm out. Maybe LOL!


----------



## LadyOfTheLake

that_girl said:


> Ya. Too much snark with that. Your man just wanted the best for his children. I wish I could have nursed my younger one a bit longer, but...I just wasn't producing! It was frustrating.
> 
> But...I wonder why men have nipples at all....
> 
> Thread jack LOL!


He just did't want to have to do any of the work....that's why men support BFing....let's them off the hook. There's no quantifiable difference between BF and FF children.


As for nipples, all embryo's start out as female. Nipples develop before sexual differentiation.


----------



## that_girl

My STBX got up with the baby every time and brought her to me...so he worked. I fed. But I slept with her for the most part, until 2 months.


----------



## Ikaika

LadyOfTheLake said:


> He just did't want to have to do any of the work....that's why men support BFing....let's them off the hook. There's no quantifiable difference between BF and FF children.
> 
> 
> As for nipples, all embryo's start out as female. Nipples develop before sexual differentiation.


Actually all embryos prior to 13 WPF start out has hermaphrodites. The default for every embryo is female.

ETA: Y chromosome codes for maleness by degrading the Mullein duct system and promoting the Woffiian Ducted system.


----------



## that_girl

Cause we're awesome like that  :woohoo:


----------



## gbrad

that_girl said:


> Awkward and unnecessary?
> 
> :rofl:
> 
> The baby needs to eat!
> 
> People trip me out. Carry on with this. I'm out. Maybe LOL!


Yes they need to eat and as I have stated I believe there are methods around it. Especially when you are somewhere that there is an easy way to do it away from other people.


----------



## that_girl

Well, when you nurse a baby, you can leave to do it.

Sorry for the snark, but when I'm covered, and no one sees anything, I don't see the issue.


----------



## Therealbrighteyes

that_girl said:


> But...I wonder why men have nipples at all....


I can tell you exactly why. All mammals start out their embryonic development as females. As the body develops, the DNA determines what hormones are produced in what ratios and that determines the sex. 
Kinda shoots the whole "And a rib was taken from Adam to form Eve" thing down a notch. Adam was formed from Eve.


----------



## LadyOfTheLake

drerio said:


> Actually all embryos prior to 13 WPF start out has hermaphrodites. The default for every embryo is female.


Well, yes, but in lay terms it is commonly said that the embryo is female rather than simply undifferentiated.


----------



## that_girl

And again....the Bible being translated to control the masses. lmao. just kidding....no more thread jack!


----------



## Ikaika

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Well, yes, but in lay terms it is commonly said that the embryo is female rather than simply undifferentiated.


It is not undifferentiated, both systems are present but underdeveloped.

ETA: the term undifferentiated has a whole different meaning, like as in an undifferentiated stem cell. And, even that has subclassifications built around it.


----------



## gbrad

that_girl said:


> Well, when you nurse a baby, you can leave to do it.
> 
> Sorry for the snark, but when I'm covered, and no one sees anything, I don't see the issue.


Not everyone fully covers to do it. And just because I can't/don't do something myself doesn't mean I can't have an opinion on the subject that matters.


----------



## that_girl

It doesn't really matter tho.


----------



## Therealbrighteyes

gbrad said:


> I agree that nobody should be eating in a bathroom, that is gross. I also don't think breastfeeding in public is gross; more awkward and unnecessary. And when a woman is breastfeeding and continues to have a casual conversation with those around her, I don't get that at all. If you are at someones house for a party or such, what is wrong with just going into another room for that small period of time?


I'm uncomfortable with you running around without your shirt on. I cannot help but get turned on by your nipples so you need to put your shirt back on and conform to my issues.


----------



## Maricha75

gbrad said:


> I agree that nobody should be eating in a bathroom, that is gross. I also don't think breastfeeding in public is gross; more awkward and unnecessary. And when a woman is breastfeeding and continues to have a casual conversation with those around her, I don't get that at all. If you are at someones house for a party or such, what is wrong with just going into another room for that small period of time?


Gee, why don't you just pick up and go to another room if it bothers you that much? Entitled much? Good grief! 

FYI, I am SOOO glad my husband wasn't so uptight about whether or not he got to feed the baby those first few months. Guess what? When they started on cereal and baby food, he stepped up and started feeding them. He has an EXCELLENT relationship with each of them, well-bonded. And he never complained that he couldn't breastfeed or bottle feed them. Seriously, get over yourself.

To Jane_Doe, I am a K cup. I was F-cup+ when I had EACH of mine. Trust me when I say that you can still be quite discreet about it, even with big breasts. And no, you won't suffocate your baby! As for genetic... ehhh... unlikely. My dad told me often that his mom was never able to produce enough milk for any of her 6 kids. So, he didn't want me to feel bad if I couldn't. Fortunately, I was able to. Which makes me happy because man... if I had to get formula for my kids, I'd have had to use WIC. No way could I afford that stuff! And then, there would be people complaining that I was a burden on taxpayers because I was getting WIC to feed my baby... So, damned if I do, damned if I don't, it seems. 

Ah well, as I said...glad my husband isn't so uptight that he would believe he couldn't adequately bond with our children. Glad he recognized the fact that dads bond just fine with their kids without having to feed them a bottle, as to older siblings.


----------



## gbrad

that_girl said:


> It doesn't really matter tho.


To me it is no different than a woman pulling up her shirt at a party for everyone to see her boobs if the woman doesn't cover.


----------



## LadyOfTheLake

that_girl said:


> Well, when you nurse a baby, you can leave to do it.
> 
> Sorry for the snark, but when I'm covered, and no one sees anything, I don't see the issue.


But isn't that what I, and I think gbrad have been saying?. It's not an issue if you are discreet and not letting it all hang out. In one of my first posts on the subject I said I would never ever do it period, that is my own comfort zone, my own feelings of propriety. I realize other women are going to feel and act differently, my only issue is when women nurse uncovered and anyone who happens to look, sees *everything*. That is gross. If you toss a blanket over your shoulder or arrange your shirt discreetly, I'm not going to have a problem. And even if I did, its not like I'd say anything, unless you were in my house. Then I'd toss you a blanket ,or leave the room till you were done.


----------



## gbrad

Therealbrighteyes said:


> I'm uncomfortable with you running around without your shirt on. I cannot help but get turned on by your nipples so you need to put your shirt back on and conform to my issues.


Well it's a good thing that I don't run around without my shirt on.


----------



## that_girl

Wow. That's disturbing to me. 

Feeding a child with breasts is NOT the same as flashing at a party.

FFS.


----------



## that_girl

Breasts are not gross. Period.

Seems like it's not our problem, but yours.


----------



## coffee4me

that_girl said:


> My aunt is a nurse and with my first, she said to stick it out the first 6 weeks and then things will get easier.
> 
> She was right. I still didn't like it BUT* at least it didn't hurt like a mofo*.


:rofl: I did stick it out past the hurting like a mofo. Just in my case it was longer than 6 weeks, absolutely worth it thou.


----------



## Zanne

Actually, wet-nurses were often used by many upper- and middle-class women so they could save their breasts for their husbands.

Breastfeeding has gone in and out of favor for centuries. This is not a new concept. In the late 18th century, Jean-Jacques Rousseau told mothers to abandon herself to nature. There was a new mindset and breastfeeding became all the rage.


----------



## Thoreau

Two questions:

If chocolate milk comes from brown cows then....???

Is it weird that I want to squirt chocolate syrup on a milk filled bewby and feed?

Ok....threadjack over.


----------



## Maricha75

gbrad said:


> Yes they need to eat and as I have stated I believe there are methods around it. Especially when you are somewhere that there is an easy way to do it away from other people.


1. Nipple confusion
2. Baby rejects one or the other, no matter what you try
3. Try it yourself, then tell me how to feed my child. Til then, butt out.
4. I acknowledge that you acknowledged that some women can't pump enough. Thank you for THAT at least. 

Bottom line, if you and your wife are cool with what YOU choose, feel free. That was not ok for me. That was not ok for my husband. If you are around a woman who is breastfeeding and you are uncomfortable, here's a tip: LEAVE. Problem solved.


----------



## gbrad

Maricha75 said:


> Gee, why don't you just pick up and go to another room if it bothers you that much? Entitled much? Good grief!
> 
> *They are the ones at a party with everyone else who isn't breastfeeding a child. Is it so wrong for them to go into a private room (like a bedroom) and feed the child and then come back and join everyone? I don't see what is wrong with that.*
> 
> FYI, I am SOOO glad my husband wasn't so uptight about whether or not he got to feed the baby those first few months. Guess what? When they started on cereal and baby food, he stepped up and started feeding them. He has an EXCELLENT relationship with each of them, well-bonded. And he never complained that he couldn't breastfeed or bottle feed them. Seriously, get over yourself.
> 
> *I don't think I am uptight about this at all. I know that bonds can happen in many different ways, and feeding is just one of them. I don't understand why it is such a big deal for a mom to be the only one doing it early on. *
> 
> Ah well, as I said...glad my husband isn't so uptight that he would believe he couldn't adequately bond with our children. Glad he recognized the fact that dads bond just fine with their kids without having to feed them a bottle, as to older siblings.


----------



## LadyOfTheLake

that_girl said:


> Breasts are not gross. Period.
> 
> 
> .


Non lactating breasts are not gross. 

It's like, noses aren't gross, but runny noses are.


----------



## Thoreau

that_girl said:


> Wow. That's disturbing to me.
> 
> *Feeding a child with breasts* is NOT the same as flashing at a party.
> 
> FFS.


Don't all children have breasts?!? 

Ok. I'm done intruding. Maybe.


----------



## that_girl

Well, lactating breasts aren't gross either...but to each their own.



Love when people tell me parts of my body are gross.


----------



## that_girl

Thoreau said:


> Don't all children have breasts?!?
> 
> Ok. I'm done intruding. Maybe.


hahahah dork.


----------



## Therealbrighteyes

gbrad said:


> To me it is no different than a woman pulling up her shirt at a party for everyone to see her boobs if the woman doesn't cover.


Yet I suspect you wouldn't have any issue with that, given that you see breasts solely for your sexual gratification.


----------



## gbrad

that_girl said:


> Wow. That's disturbing to me.
> 
> Feeding a child with breasts is NOT the same as flashing at a party.
> 
> FFS.


If you end up seeing the same thing, it kinda is.


----------



## gbrad

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Yet I suspect you wouldn't have any issue with that, *given that you see breasts solely for your sexual gratification*.


That bolded part is quite accurate.


----------



## LadyOfTheLake

that_girl said:


> Well, lactating breasts aren't gross either...but to each their own.
> 
> 
> 
> Love when people tell me parts of my body are gross.


Hey, my lactating breasts were disgusting too. They swelled up like basketballs and dripped all over the place....it was like having a massive infection and oozing pus.

My breasts are awesome. They are great. But when they went all gross like that, they were on lock down. Even hubs was grossed out by them. I wish they still gave those injections that dry women up overnight like they did in the 50's.


----------



## that_girl

lolll 

Well, that's your problem about a naked body.

I don't see it as the same. 

But then again, I'm not weird about bodies.


----------



## that_girl

:rofl: Wow. 

OK Well, I'm glad I have my mindset and not yours.


----------



## Therealbrighteyes

gbrad said:


> If you end up seeing the same thing, it kinda is.


So because YOU cannot separate a woman nursing a baby vs. as sexual play things, us women should be forced in to public bathrooms or other rooms of a house? You know you have options, right? Don't look, shift your seating, turn around or get up and move somewhere else.


----------



## gbrad

I will just say that the women I have seen get up and go into another room where not everyone was at, I have appreciated and respected. They were considerate of the other people there in the house and didn't just assume that everyone was okay with it out in the open. Simple thing to do. Not sure why that is so much to ask.


----------



## Therealbrighteyes

gbrad said:


> That bolded part is quite accurate.


I'm going to go out on a limb here and say you see a vagina solely for screwing. You do know after all that screwing a baby eventually comes out, right? That's kind of where the whole breasts thing feeding babies happens too.


----------



## Maricha75

gbrad said:


> They are the ones at a party with everyone else who isn't breastfeeding a child. Is it so wrong for them to go into a private room (like a bedroom) and feed the child and then come back and join everyone? I don't see what is wrong with that.


Well, let's see. Some babies will nurse for an hour. Now, think about that. A newborn/very young baby, or even one going through a growth spurt, will nurse every couple hours. Or, they will cluster-feed. If a woman is expected to get up and leave the room every time she has to feed her baby, she might as well not even be there. That's what it's like. for a cluster-feeding baby, especially. And the time to measure between feedings is from start to start, not end to start. IOW, if a baby nurses at 11am, and nurses for an hour...and is on a 2 hour "schedule", then they will be ready to eat again at 1pm, not 2pm. Like I said, why bother going at all? And I thought "confinement" was over. 




gbrad said:


> I don't think I am uptight about this at all. I know that bonds can happen in many different ways, and feeding is just one of them. I don't understand why it is such a big deal for a mom to be the only one doing it early on.


Why is it a big deal to EXPECT a mother to bottlefeed if
1. THE BABY WON'T TAKE THE FORMULA
or
2. THEY CAN'T PUMP ENOUGH ANYWAY?

I noticed that you glossed over the part about SOME babies not accepting formula. Guess that just didn't fit into your preconceived notions of feeding babies. Again, makes me even happier that I am not married to a man like that.


----------



## gbrad

Therealbrighteyes said:


> So because YOU cannot separate a woman nursing a baby vs. as sexual play things, us women should be forced in to public bathrooms or other rooms of a house? You know you have options, right? Don't look, shift your seating, turn around or get up and move somewhere else.


I said that nobody should ever go into a bathroom to eat or feed.


----------



## gbrad

Therealbrighteyes said:


> I'm going to go out on a limb here and say you see a vagina solely for screwing, right?


You want me to say that it is not for giving birth...
You disagree with my opinion, I get that. And this is not just about sex. So don't make it all about that.


----------



## Therealbrighteyes

gbrad said:


> You want me to say that it is not for giving birth...
> You disagree with my opinion, I get that. And this is not just about sex. So don't make it all about that.


You said you see them as sexual play things only so yeah, YOU made it about sex not me.


----------



## gbrad

Maricha75 said:


> Well, let's see. Some babies will nurse for an hour. Now, think about that. A newborn/very young baby, or even one going through a growth spurt, will nurse every couple hours. Or, they will cluster-feed. If a woman is expected to get up and leave the room every time she has to feed her baby, she might as well not even be there. That's what it's like. for a cluster-feeding baby, especially. And the time to measure between feedings is from start to start, not end to start. IOW, if a baby nurses at 11am, and nurses for an hour...and is on a 2 hour "schedule", then they will be ready to eat again at 1pm, not 2pm. Like I said, why bother going at all? And I thought "confinement" was over.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Why is it a big deal to EXPECT a mother to bottlefeed if
> 1. THE BABY WON'T TAKE THE FORMULA
> or
> 2. THEY CAN'T PUMP ENOUGH ANYWAY?
> 
> I noticed that you glossed over the part about SOME babies not accepting formula. Guess that just didn't fit into your preconceived notions of feeding babies. Again, makes me even happier that I am not married to a man like that.


As I said, my experience in my family is that the babies breast fed for the minimum amount of time, the sooner they go to eat normally the better. So if the baby wont take formula early on or she can't pump, fine. You make do and figure out what is necessary. But you transition the child to other foods before they are a year old. Nothing wrong with that.


----------



## gbrad

Therealbrighteyes said:


> You said you see them as sexual play things only so yeah, YOU made it about sex not me.


Breasts yes, thats how I said I see them. But that is not the only issue when it comes to the breastfeeding around others topic.


----------



## Maricha75

gbrad said:


> I will just say that the women I have seen get up and go into another room where not everyone was at, I have appreciated and respected. They were considerate of the other people there in the house and didn't just assume that everyone was okay with it out in the open. Simple thing to do. Not sure why that is so much to ask.


I was at a restaurant once and I was asked if I wanted to go somewhere "more comfortable"... I said "Nope! I'm feeding my baby right here at the table!"... And I did. If the other diners didn't like it, their problem, not mine. My baby had a right to eat, same as everyone else. And I'd do the same thing again, if I had another baby.

Oh, and I even fed my babies with a pastor right in the same room. NOT ONE parishoner batted an eye at it. Why? Because THEY can separate feeding from sexualization. Some of the most notoriously prudish "type" of people were just fine with it. Even in their own homes. The pastor was having a conversation with my husband and myself and when the baby was hungry, he just turned his head until I got adjusted. Same with the switching. His wife was right there too... she saw nothing wrong with it. Funny how SOME conservative people get it...


----------



## Therealbrighteyes

gbrad said:


> Breasts yes, thats how I said I see them. But that is not the only issue when it comes to the breastfeeding around others topic.


So don't look then! If I don't like what's on a specific television channel, I turn it to something else, not write a letter to the network telling them they should take the show off the air.


----------



## gbrad

Maricha75 said:


> I was at a restaurant once and I was asked if I wanted to go somewhere "more comfortable"... I said "Nope! I'm feeding my baby right here at the table!"... And I did. If the other diners didn't like it, their problem, not mine. My baby had a right to eat, same as everyone else. And I'd do the same thing again, if I had another baby.
> 
> Oh, and I even fed my babies with a pastor right in the same room. NOT ONE parishoner batted an eye at it. Why? Because THEY can separate feeding from sexualization. Some of the most notoriously prudish "type" of people were just fine with it. Even in their own homes. The pastor was having a conversation with my husband and myself and when the baby was hungry, he just turned his head until I got adjusted. Same with the switching. His wife was right there too... she saw nothing wrong with it. Funny how SOME conservative people get it...


Again, this is more evidence to everyone else having to be okay with what 1 person does. If I were out at a restaurant eating my dinner and saw that, I would be beyond irritated at that mother. How inconsiderate of the other people. She should be aware that other people might not be comfortable with it and in a public place not want to ruin their dinner because of her (one persons) actions. I'm not saying that seeing that would ruin my dinner, but depending on the person and the level of discreteness, it could. And that is very inconsiderate to be somewhere public and simply say that you don't care what other people think. 
As for at a house or gathering, most people aren't going to say anything. Both my wife and I have commented about how uncomfortable it is to have a conversation with a woman while she has a baby attached to her boob right across from us. It happened very recently at a party we went to.


----------



## LadyOfTheLake

So only conservative people don't want to see public, uncovered Bfing? Would only conservative people not want to see any other bodily functions being performed in public?

Like I said, I have no problem going topless.... It's even legal in Ontario. I'm a long way from conservative. But I only do it on the beach, where that kind of behaviour is expected. If people don't want to be exposed to that, they don't go to the beach. It isn't fair or respectful of women to expose themselves to innocent bystanders in a coffee shop or wherever when it can so easily be avoided.


----------



## that_girl

Breastfeeding and shetting are not the same.

But again, glad I see things my way and not yours.


----------



## gbrad

Therealbrighteyes said:


> So don't look then! If I don't like what's on a specific channel, I turn it to something else, not write a letter to the network telling them they should take the show off the air.


When you are at a party/gathering with people and having pleasant conversation when the mother begins to breastfeed, it is not as simple as Don't look. 
When I go to other peoples houses for gatherings or parties I act in a way that I try and be respectful of what other people would and would not be comfortable with. If the gathering is at my own house, I will do whatever the hell I please and if they don't like it they can leave. But when I go to someone elses house I consider the fact that some people may not like certain things and I act accordingly.


----------



## Maricha75

gbrad said:


> As I said, my experience in my family is that the babies breast fed for the minimum amount of time, the sooner they go to eat normally the better. So if the baby wont take formula early on or she can't pump, fine. You make do and figure out what is necessary. But you transition the child to other foods before they are a year old. Nothing wrong with that.


One problem with your thinking. Yes, they get transitioned... AAP recommends at 6 months to BEGIN introducing cereals to your baby. Some start as early as 4 months. But you still have to give them breastmilk or formula the majority of he time. And you can't give regular milk to your child until they are a year old.

As for breastfeeding the minimum amount of time... my mom bottlefed all three of us girls. It was what she knew. My cousins all bottlefed all of theirs. As far as I know, my sisters and I were the only ones who even attempted to breastfeed. And yet, not one of my family had the reaction that you have: that we should go to another room, or just feed them formula, or just pump. Not one. Conservative and liberal alike... Not one was so narrowminded.


----------



## gbrad

that_girl said:


> Breastfeeding and shetting are not the same.
> 
> But again, glad I see things my way and not yours.


shetting?


----------



## that_girl

sh1tting. Body function.


----------



## gbrad

Maricha75 said:


> One problem with your thinking. Yes, they get transitioned... AAP recommends at 6 months to BEGIN introducing cereals to your baby. Some start as early as 4 months. But you still have to give them breastmilk or formula the majority of he time. And you can't give regular milk to your child until they are a year old.
> 
> As for breastfeeding the minimum amount of time... my mom bottlefed all three of us girls. It was what she knew. My cousins all bottlefed all of theirs. As far as I know, my sisters and I were the only ones who even attempted to breastfeed. And yet, not one of my family had the reaction that you have: that we should go to another room, or just feed them formula, or just pump. Not one. Conservative and liberal alike... Not one was so narrowminded.


Why is it narrowminded to want people to consider other peoples feelings?


----------



## daisygirl 41

I breast fed all my kids in public, you would never have know . I didn't sit there with my baps out for the world to see.
It can be done discretely.

Read up on the wonders of Nestlé and how thousands of baby's are dying in Africa and India because their mothers have been told that formula is better for them than breast milk. They get the freebies and the breast milk dries up then they don't have the facilities to make the formula safely and the babies are dying.

Anyway, dads can bond with their babies in many other ways, it doesn't have to be through feeding. When I was feeding hubby would still get up in the night and change baby and have a cuddle. 
I fed my first 2 up till 10 months old. DD was only fed till 4 months. She wasn't interested and was hungry all the time, I regret now that I didn't try harder but there you go. I wouldn't have felt comfortable feeding them much after about 2 years old. Not for me and I think it's probably more for the mother than the child when it goes on much further.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Maricha75

gbrad said:


> Again, this is more evidence to everyone else having to be okay with what 1 person does. If I were out at a restaurant eating my dinner and saw that, I would be beyond irritated at that mother. How inconsiderate of the other people. She should be aware that other people might not be comfortable with it and in a public place not want to ruin their dinner because of her (one persons) actions. I'm not saying that seeing that would ruin my dinner, but depending on the person and the level of discreteness, it could. And that is very inconsiderate to be somewhere public and simply say that you don't care what other people think.


Let me guess...you would prefer to listen to a baby howl to eat, rather than get a full belly? Give me a break. Be as irritated as you like. Frankly, I don't give a damn. But at least my baby would be quiet, and full.


----------



## LadyOfTheLake

gbrad said:


> shetting?


taking a dump in public.

breastfeeding, urinating, crapping, fapping, burping, farting, spitting, sex, all natural bodily functions. 

No one wants to see another person doing any of that in public.


----------



## that_girl

I don't mind breastfeeding in public. Burping either. Whatever. 

So...it's not "no one". It's some people.

But I'm not all up in what other people do.


----------



## gbrad

Maricha75 said:


> Let me guess...you would prefer to listen to a baby howl to eat, rather than get a full belly? Give me a break. Be as irritated as you like. Frankly, I don't give a damn. But at least my baby would be quiet, and full.


To me this is selfish. To not consider other peoples feelings. And no I would not prefer to listen to a baby howl. I can't stand it when I go out to eat and a family sits near us and lets their children be loud during dinner. I can't stand when parents don't control their children in public.


----------



## Maricha75

gbrad said:


> *When you are at a party/gathering with people and having pleasant conversation when the mother begins to breastfeed, it is not as simple as Don't look. *
> When I go to other peoples houses for gatherings or parties I act in a way that I try and be respectful of what other people would and would not be comfortable with. If the gathering is at my own house, I will do whatever the hell I please and if they don't like it they can leave. But when I go to someone elses house I consider the fact that some people may not like certain things and I act accordingly.


Actually, it is that simple. As I pointed out about the pastor where we used to live. He was able to not look. You hear the baby howling, it's really a nobrainer. Baby is likely hungry. Mom breastfeeds... what do you think she's going to do? Let her baby continue howling, further disrupting the get-together?


----------



## LadyOfTheLake

gbrad said:


> Why is it narrowminded to want people to consider other peoples feelings?


Which is really all it boils down to. Consideration and respect for those around you. Don't do anything that makes other people uncomfortable.


----------



## Therealbrighteyes

gbrad said:


> When you are at a party/gathering with people and having pleasant conversation when the mother begins to breastfeed, it is not as simple as Don't look.
> When I go to other peoples houses for gatherings or parties I act in a way that I try and be respectful of what other people would and would not be comfortable with. If the gathering is at my own house, I will do whatever the hell I please and if they don't like it they can leave. But when I go to someone elses house I consider the fact that some people may not like certain things and I act accordingly.


If you are at a party and a mother begins to breastfeed, you are free to say "I'm going to go refresh my drink" or "Excuse me for just a moment" or a whole host of excuses to leave for a bit. Your feet aren't nailed to the floor.I have removed myself from plenty of situations that I felt uncomfortable with.


----------



## gbrad

LadyOfTheLake said:


> taking a dump in public.
> 
> breastfeeding, urinating, crapping, fapping, burping, farting, spitting, sex, all natural bodily functions.
> 
> No one wants to see another person doing any of that in public.


Not sure if you want to say that Nobody wants to see Any of that.


----------



## Zanne

I agree with that girl, there are some things on that list that I would be okay with, so it depends on the individual's comfort level.

And I suppose it also depends on what society deems is respectable public behavior.


----------



## Maricha75

LadyOfTheLake said:


> taking a dump in public.
> 
> *breastfeeding*, urinating, crapping, fapping, burping, farting, spitting, sex, all natural bodily functions.
> 
> *No one* wants to see another person doing any of that in public.


No one? No, it's not "no one".... many people actually have no problem with mothers breastfeeding in public.


----------



## Zanne

For example, spitting in public is very common in China. You won't see anyone complain there, except maybe tourists.


----------



## Therealbrighteyes

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Which is really all it boils down to. Consideration and respect for those around you. Don't do anything that makes other people uncomfortable.


Well then stay at home in a secluded room because even in your own house you are bound to do something that makes your family uncomfortable and you sure will do something while in the general public.


----------



## gbrad

Therealbrighteyes said:


> If you are at a party and a mother begins to breastfeed, you are free to say "I'm going to go refresh my drink" or "Excuse me for just a moment" or a whole host of excuses to leave for a bit. Your feet aren't nailed to the floor.I have removed myself from plenty of situations that I felt uncomfortable with.


Her feet aren't nailed to the floor either. She has no idea how many people there could be made uncomfortable by it. She is the one doing the action, not me. Why is this so hard to get? Have concern for others when in a setting like this.


----------



## Maricha75

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Which is really all it boils down to. Consideration and respect for those around you. Don't do anything that makes other people uncomfortable.


Fine, feel free to walk up to a breastfeeding mom and tell her not to do that because it makes you feel uncomfortable. Let us know how that goes.


----------



## LadyOfTheLake

gbrad said:


> Not sure if you want to say that Nobody wants to see Any of that.


Well, I meant in the general sense. Not as in if you were into a fetish or something. Think midday in a crowded coffee house with your mum. The same level of propriety one would expect in such a situation, just in dad to day good manners.

But then, good manners, respect and dignity just aren't as important as they used to be.


----------



## that_girl

And quite frankly, I don't need to take into consideration if someone MIGHT be upset with something i do. Holy crap. I lived like a martyr and a self-sacrificing moron for years. Never again. 

There are manners for body functions and then there is discrete breastfeeding. I use my manners and covered while nursing.

But I wouldn't leave the room nor would I worry about what people think.

People need to stop being so weird about breasts. Dang.


----------



## gbrad

LadyOfTheLake said:


> taking a dump in public.
> 
> breastfeeding, urinating, crapping, fapping, burping, farting, spitting, sex, all natural bodily functions.
> 
> No one wants to see another person doing any of that in public.


Breastfeeding, as long as I either don't know it is happening, or you are being discrete and not attempting to have a convesation with someone while doing it. Urinating and crapping, uh, yah thats a no. Fapping, no thanks. Burping and farting, again make it discrete. Spitting, who cares. Sex, if they are hot, I might be okay with it.


----------



## that_girl

gbrad said:


> Her feet aren't nailed to the floor either. She has no idea how many people there could be made uncomfortable by it. She is the one doing the action, not me. Why is this so hard to get? Have concern for others when in a setting like this.


Well, then people should get more comfortable with it.

Are you 12? Breasts disturb you that much? holy crap.

And a mother can't talk to someone while doing it?? :rofl: Ok, dude.

But you'd watch to "hot" people have sex in public.

:rofl: omg. I'm dying.


----------



## gbrad

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Well then stay at home in a secluded room because even in your own house you are bound to do something that makes your family uncomfortable and you sure will do something while in the general public.


If it was a FAMILY member who was in my house and wanted to breastfeed I would personally show them the spare bedroom.


----------



## Maricha75

gbrad said:


> To me this is selfish. To not consider other peoples feelings. And no I would not prefer to listen to a baby howl. I can't stand it when I go out to eat and a family sits near us and lets their children be loud during dinner. I can't stand when parents don't control their children in public.


I think it's more selfish to expect a mother to conform to YOUR ideals. FYI, my kids are very well-behaved. I have no problem controlling their behavior. But a baby? LMAO! No way is a baby gonna let you control them. :rofl:

Bottom line, IMO, my baby's hunger is more imprtant to me than some stranger's comfort. Fortunately, everywhere I have gone recognizes this as well.... restaraunts and stores alike.


----------



## gbrad

Maricha75 said:


> Fine, feel free to walk up to a breastfeeding mom and tell her not to do that because it makes you feel uncomfortable. Let us know how that goes.


Shouldn't have to. They should know to be considerate of everyone else around them when they are the ones doing the act that causes discomfort.


----------



## that_girl

Omg. LOL! Stay home then.

You might get offended  by something someone does in public.


----------



## Maricha75

that_girl said:


> Well, then people should get more comfortable with it.
> 
> Are you 12? Breasts disturb you that much? holy crap.
> 
> And a mother can't talk to someone while doing it?? :rofl: Ok, dude.
> 
> But you'd watch to "hot" people have sex in public.
> 
> :rofl: omg. I'm dying.


Can't be 12... my 12 year old has no issue with that sort of thing. Nor does my 15 year old nephew, for that matter. Boys who are able to differentiate between food and sex... imagine that.


----------



## gbrad

that_girl said:


> Well, then people should get more comfortable with it.
> 
> Are you 12? Breasts disturb you that much? holy crap.
> 
> And a mother can't talk to someone while doing it?? :rofl: Ok, dude.
> 
> But you'd watch to "hot" people have sex in public.
> 
> :rofl: omg. I'm dying.


It is not the breast that disturb me. To me, breastfeeding is a private thing.


----------



## Maricha75

gbrad said:


> Shouldn't have to. They should know to be considerate of everyone else around them when they are the ones doing the act that causes discomfort.


Get over yourself. Dude, at this point, your house would be one I would just whip 'em out... without a care of what you thought of it. SO glad I don't know you....


----------



## Maricha75

gbrad said:


> It is not the breast that disturb me. To me, breastfeeding is a private thing.


Sex is a priviate thing. Breastfeeding is food.


----------



## LadyOfTheLake

Maricha75 said:


> Fine, feel free to walk up to a breastfeeding mom and tell her not to do that because it makes you feel uncomfortable. Let us know how that goes.


Well, I'm too well mannered to behave like that. But I have been guilty of cracking a joke behind her back or engaging in eye rolls with other people. Juvenile, I know, but it's really the only form of social repercussion that one can engage in without forcing a confrontation. 

The one time there was confrontation was at DH's aunts house. His cousin sat down AT THE TABLE and lifted her shirt up to start nursing an annoyingly fussy 1 year old. She lifted it ALL the way up, leaving nothing unseen. DH was all like " T**** WTF are you doing??? Put that away, I don't need to see my cousins tits" I didn't say anything, since it wasn't my family, but I was glad he spoke up. She was miffed but went and did that elsewhere.


----------



## gbrad

that_girl said:


> Omg. LOL! Stay home then.
> 
> You might get offended  by something someone does in public.


I am thinking primarily at other peoples homes. This is when I have most often seen it. I am not going to go into someones elses house and do something that I think other people are not going to like. It is not my place, I need to consider other peoples thoughts and feelings.


----------



## that_girl

Apparently sex can be public if the people are hot.

It's just a boob.

lol. I can't even understand how to think otherwise or freak out about breasts. Oh noes! BOOOBS!


----------



## Dollystanford

can you poo in public if you are hot?


----------



## gbrad

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Well, I'm too well mannered to behave like that. But I have been guilty of cracking a joke behind her back or engaging in eye rolls with other people. Juvenile, I know, but it's really the only form of social repercussion that one can engage in without forcing a confrontation.
> 
> The one time there was confrontation was at DH's aunts house. His cousin sat down AT THE TABLE and lifted her shirt up to start nursing an annoyingly fussy 1 year old. She lifted it ALL the way up, leaving nothing unseen. DH was all like " T**** WTF are you doing??? Put that away, I don't need to see my cousins tits" I didn't say anything, since it wasn't my family, but I was glad he spoke up. She was miffed but went and did that elsewhere.


Thank You, I don't want to see any family members boobs, ever. For the most part, I don't even like seeing my sisters in swim suits.


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## that_girl

WOw. Maybe, Gbrad, you have an issue with bodies? I'm just wondering how someone can be so uptight about it.


----------



## gbrad

that_girl said:


> WOw. Maybe, Gbrad, you have an issue with bodies? I'm just wondering how someone can be so uptight about it.


Well when it is family I'm sorry, but I don't want to see their personal body parts at all. And with my sisters, I don't ever want to think of them as sexual beings. No.


----------



## that_girl

A bathing suit isn't sexual...is it ?? 

I see my brothers in a bathing suit and don't even think of them sexually.

I see my friends' breasts (and family) when they nurse...not sexual.

I'm just wondering why it's so bothersome for you. To the point where people can't be comfortable but should (according to you) leave the room to make you comfortable.

Sorry, thread jack...


----------



## LadyOfTheLake

I'm trying to equate an equally distasteful act that a man could do that would be similar to public bfing. The best I can come up with, short of public urination, which is sort of the same but not really, is if some ugly guy was sitting around in a tacky shirt unbuttoned down to his navel and he had all that awful thick chest hair curling out. He's just sitting there letting it all hang out and passersby are trying not to gag. You know people are laughing at him behind his back and poking fingers and making jokes....but he's too ambivalent to notice....he thinks he looks NORMAL. So people try to look away. But it's like a train wreck...


----------



## that_girl

Is he feeding his kid? Is it what he needs to do to feed his kid?

If so, then ok.


----------



## that_girl

Wow :rofl:

A fat, hairy man being laughed at behind his back and being poked at is the same as breastfeeding?

:rofl:

Omg hilarious.


----------



## Shadow_Nirvana

Okay, this thread made me disgusted of some Western women. Seriously, breastfeeding is gross? Hugs and cuddles give you the creeps? Men support BF because that way they don't have to lift a finger? There isn't a difference between BFed kids and formula-fed kids? BFing public is equal to sh!tting?

Wtf? Not only am I surprised that some people are clueless, I am also shocked to see people so opinionated against BFing. It's a fcking breast, get over it!? 

Seriously, if I ever decide to marry, this will be one of my criterias: Are you opposed to BFing/Will you breastfeed if you have the mammarian capacity to? If the answer's no, move along.

So, all in all, good thread. Made me gain a criteria


----------



## LadyOfTheLake

that_girl said:


> Wow :rofl:
> 
> A fat, hairy man being laughed at behind his back and being poked at is the same as breastfeeding?
> 
> :rofl:
> 
> Omg hilarious.


not poked, finger pointing...


Anyway, its a similie. The man no one wants to see vs the woman no one wants to see. Two people behaving in socially inappropriate ways. They both think they are normal and that they are fine, yet they are unaware of the social censure going on around them. And that makes them objects of pity in this instance. In real life, its just exasperating that such a small thing as good manners and respect for others is so hard to grasp for some.


----------



## that_girl

I don't agree 

Dear lord.


----------



## gbrad

I just wish individual people would be more considerate of the majority around them in this situation and plenty of other situations as well.


----------



## daisygirl 41

LadyOfTheLake said:


> not poked, finger pointing...
> 
> 
> Anyway, its a similie. The man no one wants to see vs the woman no one wants to see. Two people behaving in socially inappropriate ways. They both think they are normal and that they are fine, yet they are unaware of the social censure going on around them. And that makes them objects of pity in this instance. In real life, its just exasperating that such a small thing as good manners and respect for others is so hard to grasp for some.


Really? Maybe you need to practice what you preach!
You don't sound as if you are the most tolerant of people yourself.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Shadow_Nirvana

LadyOfTheLake said:


> not poked, finger pointing...
> 
> 
> Anyway, its a similie. No it has no simlarity at all.
> 
> The man no one wants to see vs the woman no one wants to see.Burn those btches who BF in public. What is this Sharia country?
> 
> In real life, its just exasperating that such a small thing as good manners and respect for others is so hard to grasp for some.
> Oh yeah, something natural and needed for an infant has to be shunned because it gives some people the creeps caused by their mommy/daddy/body/whatever the fck issues.


Do you think women are just begging to whip them out and BF? It doesn't inconvenience them? Hey maybe they are just waiting for that infantile cry so they can "flash" like in a party.

The baby needs what the baby needs. Pediatricians don't even recommend making the baby drink water before 6 months, pnly breastfeeding. So, I would strongly encourage any woman to BF anywhere possible. But of course, you know better, because of all those medical degrees you have. Ah, and of course that good manners and respect for others badges you have been granted from the social authorities.


----------



## Dollystanford

I've never felt 'pity' for a woman breastfeeding? Or pointed and laughed for that matter. In fact I've never seen a woman breastfeeding other than in a discreet manner

I would never have done it in public, that's my personal choice. I didn't even feel comfortable in my own house when other people came round and I was doing it. But that's just me


----------



## somethingelse

Wow, I didn't realize how some people are not comfortable at all with the act of breastfeeding in public. I personally have never revealed my breast in public to BF, I either go to the car, or have my cover with me. If I did see another woman pull her shirt up to BF at first I might think "woah!" but then I would quickly get over it and move on with my day. Not a big deal. I'm an adult and a mother who breast feeds, I understand what the purpose is....

I find that a lot of people who are unable to continue to breast feed are far more judgmental about it than a mother who was able to do it for 6 weeks and on. A woman I worked with (was also my friend) tried with all her might during my first pregnancy to discourage me from natural birth AND breastfeeding. She personally was unable to do any of it herself successfully, and had a really negative view of it. I just laughed at her and ignored anything she had to say. Took it with a grain of salt. And in my second pregnancy, I had the same plans. She didn't say a word to me about it. Because I had already experienced it all...point proven.


----------



## Gaia

Wow... what the hell happened here?


----------



## daisygirl 41

Gaia said:


> Wow... what the hell happened here?


Lol!
Get your boobs out at your own risk Gaia!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## somethingelse

Gaia said:


> Wow... what the hell happened here?


Touchy topic I guess lol


----------



## LadyOfTheLake

Dollystanford said:


> I've never felt 'pity' for a woman breastfeeding? Or pointed and laughed for that matter. In fact I've never seen a woman breastfeeding other than in a discreet manner
> 
> I would never have done it in public, that's my personal choice. I didn't even feel comfortable in my own house when other people came round and I was doing it. But that's just me


This is what I'm saying. If a woman is discreet, no one will even notice. When women aren't, and they let it *all* hang out, I have to admit, I feel like they are looking for attention and that is rather pathetic.

So no, *I* personally would never ever do that in public. I wasn't even comfortable doing it in front of DH or the nurses in hospital. Totally yuck. 

*I* would never confront an indiscreet woman. But I wouldn't defend her if she were asked to leave a public place either.

If I did notice a discreet woman nursing, I would just leave the area. It's likely the baby is going to puke, poop, or cry and who wants to be around that?


----------



## Gaia

Ok I wouldn't breastfeed in public and never have myself. It's due to being shy, introverted, anti social, ect. However, I do not have an issue with those women who do choose to breastfeed in public. It's just natural as many have pointed out. If it's in a store, or at a party where the owner of said residence where party is at doesn't give a hoot then that woman doesn't have to accommodate anyone. Consideration for others is a two way street as is respect.


----------



## gbrad

FrenchFry said:


> It's not about you dude. Sorry.


You are right, it is not about me or any one person. It is about everybody.


----------



## Maricha75

Gaia said:


> Wow... what the hell happened here?


Well.... some don't take to kindly to being told that other people's comfort levels are more important than a crying infant's hunger.

And others don't like to be inconvenienced by a mother who dares to nurse in their presence.


But, at least we agree (I think?), that once a kid is in school, it IS weird for them to be nursing....and even weirder for a mom to nurse her adult child...


----------



## Gaia

Hmm I've never come across a woman who has let it all hang out... then again I haven't been everywhere in the world.


----------



## somethingelse

LadyOfTheLake said:


> This is what I'm saying. If a woman is discreet, no one will even notice. When women aren't, and they let it *all* hang out, I have to admit, I feel like they are looking for attention and that is rather pathetic.
> 
> So no, *I* personally would never ever do that in public. I wasn't even comfortable doing it in front of DH or the nurses in hospital. Totally yuck.
> 
> *I* would never confront an indiscreet woman. But I wouldn't defend her if she were asked to leave a public place either.
> 
> If I did notice a discreet woman nursing, I would just leave the area. It's likely the baby is going to puke, poop, or cry and who wants to be around that?



So you do have kids who pooped, puked and cried in public at some point in your motherhood. Did you want to be around them when that happened? lol

Would you have liked if people (like you) were talking smack or even having ill thoughts about you if your baby was crying in public or even having a spit up? How do you justify those kinds of beliefs?


----------



## Gaia

gbrad said:


> You are right, it is not about me or any one person. It is about everybody.


I am sure you have done many things to offend someone in public. You may have not thought so and i highly doubt you ever stopped to consider it either. Frankly... it's not about everyone. People should be able to be themselves. There are people who get offended with certain clothing, certain beliefs, certain races... should those of different skin color, beliefs, attire have to hide themselves to accommodate the people who find it offensive? I think not.


----------



## Maricha75

LadyOfTheLake said:


> If I did notice a discreet woman nursing, I would just leave the area. It's likely the baby is going to puke, poop, or cry and who wants to be around that?


Interesting... mine didn't puke when they were nursing. It wasn't until maybe an hour later that they spit up a little. And poop? Not while they were nursing. Crying? Well, why do you think they were crying in the first place? They were hungry, duh. Now they're not.


----------



## Therealbrighteyes

Shadow_Nirvana said:


> Okay, this thread made me disgusted of some Western women. Seriously, breastfeeding is gross? Hugs and cuddles give you the creeps? Men support BF because that way they don't have to lift a finger? There isn't a difference between BFed kids and formula-fed kids? BFing public is equal to sh!tting?
> 
> Wtf? Not only am I surprised that some people are clueless, I am also shocked to see people so opinionated against BFing. It's a fcking breast, get over it!?
> 
> Seriously, if I ever decide to marry, this will be one of my criterias: Are you opposed to BFing/Will you breastfeed if you have the mammarian capacity to? If the answer's no, move along.
> 
> So, all in all, good thread. Made me gain a criteria


Really? ONE woman said breastfeeding is gross while the rest of us said it is natural. A MAN however came in here to tell us we were all disgusting, thoughtless and awful people for not hiding in a hole while breastfeeding because he cannot see breasts for any other function than giving him a boner and you gleen from that that Western women are clueless? Okay then. Carry on.


----------



## Shadow_Nirvana

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Really? ONE woman said breastfeeding is gross while the rest of us said it is natural.
> 
> you gleen from that that Western women are terrible? Okay then. Carry on.


Okay, seriously I said "some" and "people" because I didn't want to give names. I thought I would be understood.  All the questions I posted were regarding those posters, not the rest of you. In fact, I ahve to congratulate the rest of you for being so informative about breastfeeding, one of the most important things in a baby's life.


----------



## LadyOfTheLake

somethingelse said:


> So you do have kids who pooped, puked and cried in public at some point in your motherhood. Did you want to be around them when that happened? lol
> 
> Would you have liked if people (like you) were talking smack or even having ill thoughts about you if your baby was crying in public or even having a spit up? How do you justify those kinds of beliefs?


It was horribly embarrassing when the kids did that. I've left stores because the kid was fussing. I'm not one of those mum's who lets the kid scream it's bloody head off and irritate everyone else. I *knew* exactly what people were thinking, which is why I hustled that child out of there. Luckily, my children were exceptionally well behaved and I've only had a handful of incidents in the past 8 years. Now they are both past the annoying stages and I'm NOT having any more.


----------



## Shadow_Nirvana

LadyOfTheLake said:


> It was horribly embarrassing when the kids did that. I've left stores because the kid was fussing. I'm not one of those mum's who lets the kid scream it's bloody head off and irritate everyone else. I *knew* exactly what people were thinking, which is why I hustled that child out of there. Luckily, my children were exceptionally well behaved and I've only had a handful of incidents in the past 8 years. Now they are both past the annoying stages and I'm NOT having any more.


Wow, I'm glad I didn't have such a supressive and external-validation-seeking mother like you.


----------



## daisygirl 41

LadyOfTheLake said:


> It was horribly embarrassing when the kids did that. I've left stores because the kid was fussing. I'm not one of those mum's who lets the kid scream it's bloody head off and irritate everyone else. I *knew* exactly what people were thinking, which is why I hustled that child out of there. Luckily, my children were exceptionally well behaved and I've only had a handful of incidents in the past 8 years. Now they are both past the annoying stages and I'm NOT having any more.


Wow just wow!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## LadyOfTheLake

Shadow_Nirvana said:


> Wow, I'm glad I didn't have such a supressive and external-validation-seeking mother like you.


LOL, I'm not seeking external validation....I'm considering the needs and wants of other people. I think it's safe to say NO one wants to listen to a child in the throes of a temper tantrum, no one wants to see a puke stained child and no one wants to smell one that just took a sh1te in its pants. Removing that child from the public is just plain old fashioned good manners. Go to any grocery store today and just see how out of fashion good parenting is.


----------



## gbrad

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Really? ONE woman said breastfeeding is gross while the rest of us said it is natural. A MAN however came in here to tell us we were all disgusting, thoughtless and awful people for not hiding in a hole while breastfeeding because he cannot see breasts for any other function than giving him a boner and you gleen from that that Western women are clueless? Okay then. Carry on.


Now that is rude. Not once did I say you were disgusting. And I never said to hide in a hole. But it is nice that you feel the need to exaggerate to try and make your point. Going to a quite and private room is not the same as hiding in a hole.


----------



## gbrad

LadyOfTheLake said:


> It was horribly embarrassing when the kids did that. I've left stores because the kid was fussing. I'm not one of those mum's who lets the kid scream it's bloody head off and irritate everyone else. I *knew* exactly what people were thinking, which is why I hustled that child out of there. Luckily, my children were exceptionally well behaved and I've only had a handful of incidents in the past 8 years. Now they are both past the annoying stages and I'm NOT having any more.


As parents should remove their children from public places when they act out and disrupt others. If they can't get them to stop quickly, remove them.


----------



## Shadow_Nirvana

LadyOfTheLake said:


> I'm considering the needs and wants of other people.
> 
> NO one wants to listen to a child in the throes of a temper tantrum,
> 
> *If you have absolutely no ways to placate a kid, sure, go ahead and take him outside. *
> 
> no one wants to see a puke stained child and no one wants to smell one that just took a sh1te in its pants.
> 
> *Yeah,not because the child would be extremely uncomfortable with that outfit.*
> 
> Removing that child from the public is just plain old fashioned good manners. Go to any grocery store today and just see how out of fashion good parenting is.


Wow. Okay, so doing things needed for your kid's comfort but doing because otherwise people would think bad you isn't validation-seeking. And birds don't fly, they float.


----------



## Shadow_Nirvana

Therealbrighteyes said:


> In the future, maybe have the guts to call those out you disagree with instead of painting all of us "western women" with the same brush.


I said "some Western women" because obviously she ain't the only one who thinks like this and I quoted her in my next post. 

Daaaaamn, why are you being so critical to me?


----------



## Maricha75

Shadow_Nirvana said:


> Wow. Okay, so doing things needed for your kid's comfort but doing because otherwise people would think bad you isn't validation-seeking. And birds don't fly,* they float*.


Ducks do... just sayin'


----------



## LadyOfTheLake

Why would I placate a screaming child? That behaviour is not tolerated. Unless they are on fire or something....my kids don't scream.

Of course I am removing the child to change it's pants. Think *I* want to be around the stink? Rather than just change it on the store or restaurant floor though, I take the child elsewhere. And I'm not exaggerating, I've seen mother's change babies in both places.


----------



## somethingelse

LadyOfTheLake said:


> It was horribly embarrassing when the kids did that. I've left stores because the kid was fussing. I'm not one of those mum's who lets the kid scream it's bloody head off and irritate everyone else. I *knew* exactly what people were thinking, which is why I hustled that child out of there. Luckily, my children were exceptionally well behaved and I've only had a handful of incidents in the past 8 years. Now they are both past the annoying stages and I'm NOT having any more.


I am the same way. I hustle my kids out of stores if they are misbehaving. My kids are very well behaved too. However, when I hear someone else's baby cry in a store, I am more sympathetic and even empathetic about it especially if that person is looking hastened to leave. I do not think for one minute how annoying it is. Because the world is not only reserved for Adults. 

Maybe you are the very few that hates what babies represent. Maybe you've been scarred by what you "felt" people were thinking about your own babies. Did you ever feel angered by what you "knew" people were thinking when you had to rush out of those stores? I myself sometimes think that people might be annoyed by my kids behavior, but I become angered at the thought, I guess that's why I don't believe that babies should be hidden.

In all reality, this isn't an adults only world, so why do we have to always have to hide our children away?


----------



## Shadow_Nirvana

Maricha75 said:


> Ducks do... just sayin'


Wow, you just destroyed my whole self-esteem. I was really patting myself on the back for a second, going "Good one, SN."


----------



## Gaia

Parents should do what they feel is best for their children. No one here has the right to say what someone else should or shouldn't do with their kids. Kids scream, cry, fart, laugh, giggle, ect. I enjoy seeing that and I sure as hell think to myself... "Oh yeah.. I can relate to that!" Every time i see it. 

Good ole fashion manners? Well background and culture determines what one considers good manners. For instance... with my family it is rude to barge in to someones residence and use their crapper without asking. With my spouses family it's apparently perfectly normal. 

Different backgrounds people... just because your embarrassed by something or grossed out by something doesn't mean the rest of the world HAS to share your views. Now I do think it's a bit odd for an eight+ year old to still be breastfeeding but it isn't my child so therefore sure as hell isn't my place nor anyone elses really to tell them how to raise their own kids.


----------



## LadyOfTheLake

somethingelse said:


> I am the same way. I hustle my kids out of stores if they are misbehaving. My kids are very well behaved too. However, when I hear someone else's baby cry in a store, I am more sympathetic and even empathetic about it especially if that person is looking hastened to leave. I do not think for one minute how annoying it is. Because the world is not only reserved for Adults.
> 
> Maybe you are the very few that hates what babies represent. Maybe you've been scarred by what you "felt" people were thinking about your own babies. Did you ever feel angered by what you "knew" people were thinking when you had to rush out of those stores? I myself sometimes think that people might be annoyed by my kids behavior, but I become angered at the thought, I guess that's why I don't believe that babies should be hidden.
> 
> In all reality, this isn't an adults only world, so why do we have to always have to hide our children away?


I think if people put half the time into raising their children that they put into training their dogs, we would have children that could be tolerated in public areas. As it is, many that I have to interact with a rude, wild, disrespectful little imps and their parents exercise no control whatsoever. So of course there is an anti child sentiment in society. Our lax attitudes towards parenting have backlashed and given us generations of spoiled rotten brats that no one likes.


----------



## Gaia

Hmmm I don't usher my kids anywhere. I give them a look, say that is enough and if they dare go further I count. They soon quiet down. They know when mommy means business.


----------



## Maricha75

gbrad said:


> As parents should remove their children from public places when they act out and disrupt others. If they can't get them to stop quickly, remove them.


GEnerally speaking, my kids are well-behaved... and have always been. However, there have been the occasional meltdowns when a shopping trip has gone a bit too long. Usually, when we are in line to check out. I'm sorry, but if my cart is full, and I am ready to leave as soon as I have paid, then I'm not going to just leave it there and come back another time. I don't live close enough to any stores to make that feasible. However, I have been fortunate with all of my kids... if they ask for something, and the answer is "no", I say "next time".... they know this means "no", and they are placated. They don't ask for the item next time either. Unfortunately, my youngest niece is not like that. SHE is the holy terror described above. I generally don't like taking her with us, but sometimes it is unavoidable. Funny thing, though... when she won't listen to her mom, she'll listen to me. But she's 5... hates to sit in a cart... throws a temper tantrum if she's made to do it anyway... But I have no choice but to schedule my shopping around her, my parents, and my sister. I can only go at certain times each month. If she has a meltdown...well, I still need to shop for my family, so I have no choice but to deal with her tantrums, no matter how uncomfortable they make ME because I ahve to concentrate on her AND getting my groceries. Others in the store can go to a different aisle. Alas, I must stay with her. 

I get that it makes others uncomfortable. But how do you think the frazzled mom, aunt, grandparent, or sitter feels? I'd suspect a great deal more uncomfortable than you feel.

Oh, and yes, I DO look at people apologetically when my niece acts up.... but not when I was feeding my kids. No reason to apologize for feeding a hungry child.


----------



## Gaia

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Why would I placate a screaming child? That behaviour is not tolerated. Unless they are on fire or something....my kids don't scream.
> 
> Of course I am removing the child to change it's pants. Think *I* want to be around the stink? *Rather than just change it on the store or restaurant floor though*, I take the child elsewhere. And I'm not exaggerating, I've seen mother's change babies in both places.


Wow... uhh to each their own I guess.... Not something I would do. I'm like you with the changing the kid in a bathroom.


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## Therealbrighteyes

gbrad said:


> Now that is rude. Not once did I say you were disgusting. And I never said to hide in a hole. But it is nice that you feel the need to exaggerate to try and make your point. Going to a quite and private room is not the same as hiding in a hole.


Spare me the platitudes. You said that breastfeeding in public is something rude women do and to prevent men like you getting their penises inverted, pump at home or use formula. You have dismissed every woman here who says that bottle feeding even with breast milk creates problems and that swtiching to formula is not nearly as healthy as breast milk and can cause serious stomach problems. You still continue to moan about how you simply can't look away or leave because apparently you have no free will.


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## Dollystanford

I have genuinely never seen someone change a nappy on a restaurant floor? Where do you people LIVE??


----------



## Shadow_Nirvana

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Rather than just change it on the store or restaurant floor though, I take the child elsewhere. And I'm not exaggerating, I've seen mother's change babies in both places.


Okay, seriously unless this is a common practice in your area, that's just ignorant behaviour by the parents. Not something I condone either. 

But still, as written in my post, this isn't the point I'm making.


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## Gaia

I'm wondering where the hell they live too. I've never seen anyone change a diaper on the floor of a store or restaurant.


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## Zanne

Gaia said:


> I'm wondering where the hell they live too. I've never seen anyone change a diaper on the floor of a store or restaurant.


I have seen younger moms do this. Maybe it's a generational thing.


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## that_girl

I'm so happy I am not like that.

I couldn't imagine being so cold and critical all the time. Oye.


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## Therealbrighteyes

Zanne said:


> I have seen younger moms do this. Maybe it's a generational thing.


No, it's a stupid thing. I've seen 50 year olds crap in a dressing room stall years ago when I worked retail.


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## that_girl

I saw a woman change a baby on a picnic table. Gross.

But that's not what the OP is about.

lol. As fun as that topic is...


----------



## somethingelse

LadyOfTheLake said:


> I think if people put half the time into raising their children that they put into training their dogs, we would have children that could be tolerated in public areas. As it is, many that I have to interact with a rude, wild, disrespectful little imps and their parents exercise no control whatsoever. So of course there is an anti child sentiment in society. Our lax attitudes towards parenting have backlashed and given us generations of spoiled rotten brats that no one likes.


I can agree with you that some parents are not the best at raising their children to be mindful. But I have taken a pediatrics course, and have learned that children really don't have the ability to understand their actions until the age of 3 at best. Having said that, toddlers and infants still cry because they have needs to be met. As you may remember when your babies were that tiny. Crying just comes with the territory. 

I can understand where you are coming from, but it just seems a bit extreme the way you say it. 

Either way, this has gone way off topic from what was first posted.


----------



## Zanne

Therealbrighteyes said:


> No, it's a stupid thing. I've seen 50 year olds crap in a dressing room stall years ago when I worked retail.


Well, crapping in public IS on the list of no-no's! 

Seriously, that is gross.


----------



## Gaia

So no opinions on what could posses a child to want to continue to breastfeed after the age of say three or four? Or do you all still want to go back and forth with breastfeeding in public, changing poopy diapers and parenting?


----------



## that_girl

I don't know how mentally healthy it is in this day and age for a child to nurse until 4 or 5.

But I haven't done any research on it so it's just my opinion that it's a bit much.


----------



## LadyOfTheLake

somethingelse said:


> I can understand where you are coming from, but it just seems a bit extreme the way you say it.
> 
> Either way, this has gone way off topic from what was first posted.


Oh I know I come off as a cold hearted btch, and to a degree, I am. I kinda pride myself in not getting bogged down in silly emotions. 
But I'm not cruel or mean or extremely cold towards my children. I do relate to them much better now that they are more....human. I have an aunt that stepped in and did all the cuddley mushy stuff that made me ill. So they had that bond with her and that suits everyone.


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## that_girl

wow.

lol.

haha....The more I read....


----------



## Dollystanford

it's not the child that wants it, it's the mother surely? the child is going to breast feed for as long as the mother chooses to breast feed


----------



## LadyOfTheLake

Gaia said:


> So no opinions on what could posses a child to want to continue to breastfeed after the age of say three or four? Or do you all still want to go back and forth with breastfeeding in public, changing poopy diapers and parenting?


The child will do it if it is getting a positive feedback. Praise, cuddles, whatever currency that child trades in. Some kids are needier than others, more likely to cling to infantile behaviours, like thumbsucking and loveys and even bfing. It is up the parent to draw the line and enforce age appropriate limits.


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## somethingelse

I'm not sure if I would want to BF up until the age of even 3. Probably just because I look at my daughter who is 3 and a half and can't see what the point would be other than just more bonding time. If I was to continue to BF past age 2 then maybe I would be able to just keep on keepin on, because without pauses in BF the child and mother would be used to it and not think anything of it. 

I say to each his own.


----------



## Gaia

LadyOfTheLake said:


> The child will do it if it is getting a positive feedback. Praise, cuddles, whatever currency that child trades in. Some kids are needier than others, more likely to cling to infantile behaviours, like thumbsucking and loveys and even bfing. It is up the parent to draw the line and enforce age appropriate limits.


This i disagree with. My children were cuddled, praised, and talked too during breastfeeding but they all quit under a year. I think perhaps as another poster pointed out.. its more for the mothers benefit when the child is still breastfeeding at 8+ years. It is their child but still.... I don't think that would be good for the child when it comes to social situations with others his/her age and in case of the 23 year old man... If they are still doing it as adults.... I think that would put them in a great disadvantage when it comes to dating. 


"Hey... I'm a pisces, I like long walks on the beach, going to movies, Oh and I still breastfeed." ........>_>


----------



## Zanne

Gaia said:


> So no opinions on what could posses a child to want to continue to breastfeed after the age of say three or four? Or do you all still want to go back and forth with breastfeeding in public, changing poopy diapers and parenting?


I think it must be a mutual activity; certainly the only benefit at age three and older would be comfort, for both child and mother.

I really did enjoy nursing my kids (well, with my dd, after we got over a difficult start) and sometimes I miss those days. I had five kids in nine years so I was either pregnant or nursing for many years.

But my kids never had the need for pacifiers or blankies, so I don't think they would have wanted to breastfeed past one year. And I don't see a benefit for me, personally.


----------



## Maricha75

Dollystanford said:


> it's not the child that wants it, it's the mother surely? *the child is going to breast feed for as long as the mother chooses to breast feed*


Ehhh not always. my nephew was done at 12 months. And when I say done, I mean DONE. He hit 12 months of age and he wanted nothing to do with breastfeeding anymore. My sister offered it, was a bit sad that he didn't want it, but he was done. And they moved on. But yes, I agree. At age 4+, it isn't the kid, it's mom. Kids want to GO GO GO... not be held back by mom!


----------



## Gaia

lil dolly already has six teeth btw... just figured I would say that.


----------



## Ikaika

My MIL... old school (originally from Okinawa), when it was time to wean my second son, she recommended to my wife to put chili pepper water around the areola. My wife did... she said it was a little painful, but it took almost no time at all the stop the little guy from wanting to plug in any longer. 

Breastfeeding, is a personal choice and while it is recommended it really needs to be something moms are comfortable doing. How long one feeds can also be quite personal. But, no nutritional benefit happens once the child is getting enough intake per os (by mouth). It is a comfort thing. I think we all need to just be careful with labeling anyone crazy just because they want to go beyond 24 months of age. I think most women don't and I would imagine most Pediatricians would recommend this not continue beyond that age. It is a very personal issue between patient and physician. 

As for public breastfeeding, it may be a bit hard for some folks to recon with due to social mores. I think we need to be respectful of others opinion (it may not bother me, but little does when it comes to the natural processes of the body). Practically ever circumstance I have witnessed, women typically take huge discretion in hiding the fact of what they are doing. I think if there are breastfeeding rooms available (I have seen these in airports in Japan), then by all means a woman should take advantage. On that same vane, airports are very problematic given the restrictions on what you can bring through security and how long the average wait can be for a flight. Not sure a person can expect a baby to go hungry for that period of time.


----------



## LadyOfTheLake

Gaia said:


> This i disagree with. My children were cuddled, praised, and talked too during breastfeeding but they all quit under a year. I think perhaps as another poster pointed out.. its more for the mothers benefit when the child is still breastfeeding at 8+ years. It is their child but still.... I don't think that would be good for the child when it comes to social situations with others his/her age and in case of the 23 year old man... If they are still doing it as adults.... I think that would put them in a great disadvantage when it comes to dating.
> 
> 
> "Hey... I'm a pisces, I like long walks on the beach, going to movies, Oh and I still breastfeed." ........>_>



That is kind of what I meant. The mother is trading in the child's currency to keep it at the breast. Some kids are needy and will stay longer by nature, but most will need to be coerced in some form. The mother is enabling the relationship to continue to meet her own need of being needed. It sounds pathological to me...


----------



## Thoreau

LadyOfTheLake said:


> That is kind of what I meant. The mother is trading in the child's currency to keep it at the breast. Some kids are needy and will stay longer by nature, but most will need to be coerced in some form. The mother is enabling the relationship to continue to meet her own need of being needed. It sounds pathological to me...


You sound pathological as well....but you are comfortable in that skin. To each their own.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Ikaika

Thoreau said:


> *You sound pathological *... _you certainly have very different views on breastfeeding_ <snip>...but you are comfortable in that skin. To each their own.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I think we need to be careful with calling anyone names. You may not share her view (I don't) but that is her opinion.


----------



## TCSRedhead

Edited my snark. I will say that with LadyoftheLake -. There is a lack of empathy for her own children, other mothers as well.

Back to the OP's question, I look at bf the same way I do with bottle feeding them formula. There isn't a lot of nutritional benefit past a year, so we transitioned to regular milk. That said I don't feel it's wrong to do it longer if it works for you and your family. I think bf'ing past potty training does seen to be taking to extremes.

As for bf'ing in public, I think seeing a mother nourish her child is beautiful. I was sad that my supply didn't keep up. 

To talk about pumping, it was due to me trying to pump that my supply started to diminish. The suction of the pump isn't as strong as the child's suction. I miss having those times together.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl

Both of my kids weened on their own. Before a year. They just weren't havin' it. Fine by me.


----------



## Maricha75

TCSRedhead said:


> To talk about pumping, it was due to me trying to pump that my supply started to diminish. The suction of the pump isn't as strong as the child's suction. I miss having those times together.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


When my daughter was less than 2 months old, my husband graduated from tech school. We were allowed to tour the facility at hat time, looking at the cars that he worked on and would be working on when he started at Mercedes-Benz. I tried pumping, and I mean REALLY tried! Each time I tried, I got less than 1/2 ounce. I froze the little bit that I got each time. It took me TWO WEEKS to pump enough for a bottle. That's a 4 ounce bottle. And yes, I pumped after each feeding. She got enough at her feedings, but I just didn't produce enough to warrant pumping. And, it turned out that the bottle wasn't needed during that time. I was able to nurse her in the car, before going inside and again in the car, before we left to drive (2 hours) to get back home. Even if I hadn't, my husband's classmates and teachers were aware of the fact that we had a baby. The classmates were about 19-21 years of age and my husband was 25-26. They knew we didn't bottle feed... one of the teachers even said I could sit in one of the cars to nurse her, if I needed. Pretty cool to be able to say "I sat in a Mercedes, just to nurse my baby" 
Pretty sure I DID end up doing that, but can't remember for certain.

Anyway, yea, I miss that time, too. My youngest two still love to cuddle with me, though.


----------



## diwali123

No way I could b feed in public. She wouldn't stay latched and everytime she unlatched I'd have milk squirting everywhere. Then I would sometimes have to massage to get the flow going again, then she would unlatch and look around again. No thank you. 
I finally got her weaned at 14 months when I had to take medicine she couldn't have. Thank god.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## somethingelse

I remember there were times my first born was watching me Bfeed her sister, and she would open her mouth as if to say "My turn!"...It happened a lot actually. One time she even sat on my lap and made the motion to BF...I was thinking "Oh no!" EEK!


----------



## AnnieAsh

somethingelse said:


> I remember there were times my first born was watching me Bfeed her sister, and she would open her mouth as if to say "My turn!"...It happened a lot actually. One time she even sat on my lap and made the motion to BF...I was thinking "Oh no!" EEK!


Heh my two year old niece tried to do the same thing to me! I have a video of her trying to get some milk! This is my NIECE lol talk about awkward. In the end, I let her cuddle with me when I fed the baby and she was happy. 

As far as extended breastfeeding, my daughters self-weaned by a year but I probably wouldn't have gone on much longer than 18 months. I knew a totally crunchy granola mom who bf until her son was like 3! He enjoyed it, she enjoyed it, who am I to judge?


----------



## larry.gray

Jane_Doe said:


> Plus with G-cups, I also worry about a big boob on a tiny face and suffocating the baby lol oh God is that possible?


My wife isn't that big, but still pretty big on top. When the kids where real little she'd have to hold her thumb and push in near their nose so they could breathe. After a month or so they'd get big enough to breath OK on their own.


----------



## Lyris

Both my kids have breastfed way beyond what is considered normal in our society. My first weaned at just past five. My second is still going at three.

Both are lovely, confident, well-adjusted kids. We kept going because they loved it, seemed to need it for emotional security and because it would have caused more pain for them to force them to stop than I was willing to put them through. 

I never thought I'd feed past 12 months before I had my first. Don't care what other people do and I don't care if other people think what I do is weird or wrong. I'm totally confident about that part of my parenting and I know it's unusual, so people are going to have opinions. 

As for feeding in public, I stopped that around 2 years for both, but never had any issues before that. From what I can see, people are way more uptight about bodies in the US than where I live, but it's still a bit controversial. Again, I don't care. It's protected by legislation and I'm not going to make my baby suffer to protect the reactionary feelings of people I'll never see again.


----------



## larry.gray

that_girl said:


> I don't think I've ever seen a woman with her breasts hanging out in public, breastfeeding or not.


Breastfeeding in public is very common here. I've never seen them "hanging out" but I have seen a flash when the baby moves unexpectedly. At least 3 times I can recall.

It certainly didn't offend me, I like them after all 

It would be rude to the woman to gawk (wife too if she was there), so I don't stare.


----------



## larry.gray

Maricha75 said:


> I was at a restaurant once and I was asked if I wanted to go somewhere "more comfortable"... I said "Nope! I'm feeding my baby right here at the table!"... And I did. If the other diners didn't like it, their problem, not mine. My baby had a right to eat, same as everyone else. And I'd do the same thing again, if I had another baby.


We've had a number of "feed in" protests when stores or restaurants try to ask a feeding mother to leave. Hundreds of women will show up and all start breastfeeding until the manager say "OK, sorry."


----------



## LadyOfTheLake

larry.gray said:


> We've had a number of "feed in" protests when stores or restaurants try to ask a feeding mother to leave. Hundreds of women will show up and all start breastfeeding until the manager say "OK, sorry."


Oh I cringe every time I hear about one of those "nurse in's"

Way to make women seem like overly hormonal over sensitive nit wits.


----------



## Maricha75

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Oh I cringe every time I hear about one of those "nurse in's"
> 
> Way to make women seem like overly hormonal over sensitive nit wits.


You have GOT to be kidding me.... 

I, on the other hand, APPLAUD those who have gone to them. If any were done in my area, you better believe I'd have been there! I am FAR from an "overly hormonal oversensitive nitwit" 

I will admit to being a b!tch at times... not hormonal b!tch, but pissed off over a situation b!tch.... got that fiery temper from my dad. When I'm hormonal, I cry... not get angry.


----------



## larry.gray

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Why would I placate a screaming child? That behaviour is not tolerated. Unless they are on fire or something....my kids don't scream.


I'm not one of those parents who lets their children run wild. I do take them outside when they misbehave, but we're talking about kids who are under 1. You don't teach children under 1 how to behave. When they are hungry, they are hungry and it needs to be dealt with promptly.


----------



## larry.gray

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Oh I cringe every time I hear about one of those "nurse in's"
> 
> Way to make women seem like overly hormonal over sensitive nit wits.


It has the exact opposite effect upon me. I think the manager is a over repressed nitwit from the dark ages and I love the women who do that.


----------



## LadyOfTheLake

larry.gray said:


> I'm not one of those parents who lets their children run wild. I do take them outside when they misbehave, but we're talking about kids who are under 1. You don't teach children under 1 how to behave. When they are hungry, they are hungry and it needs to be dealt with promptly.


I disagree. Even as infants my children were not allowed to carry on like that in public. Hungry or not...they were immediately removed. I've always been of the thought that the only person my kids should be annoying is myself or my husband. If they are bothering anyone else, we're doing something wrong.


----------



## larry.gray

gbrad said:


> As parents should remove their children from public places when they act out and disrupt others. If they can't get them to stop quickly, remove them.


If a child is fussing about hunger, it will become silent in a matter of seconds when a nipple becomes available. FAR faster than the 30 seconds or more that it would take to gather up the child and walk it out of the room. So if this is about not bothering other people with noise, the quickest way to end it is to start feeding the child.


----------



## larry.gray

LadyOfTheLake said:


> I disagree. Even as infants my children were not allowed to carry on like that in public. Hungry or not...they were immediately removed.


If the issue is noise, feed the kid and they become silent. Problem solved.


----------



## Lyris

I'll try and answer your original question about what a four or five year old might get out of breastfeeding Gaia, since it looks like I'm one of the only people here who's done it.

My older daughter was a very sensitive, quite anxious toddler who was very attached to me. She suffered quite a bit when her sister was born. For her, breastfeeding was the most deeply connected, comforting thing, nothing else came close. By the time she was four, she was having one or two feeds a day, we graaaaaaaadually cut that down over the year until she gave it up completely for a special cup. 

And, of course, there is nutritional benefit to any breast milk, just like any other food. I don't understand what people mean when they say there's no benefit after 2. There's protein, vitamins, minerals, carbohydrates- it's great stuff! Plus all the disease-fighting properties.


----------



## LadyOfTheLake

Maricha75 said:


> You have GOT to be kidding me....


Nope. I think those women are an embarrassment to women everywhere. Such a fuss they make over such a stupid little thing. Just show some class and discretion and no one would ever notice you bfing. If you can't manage that, for gawd's sake do you have to crying to the media about your precious little feelings were hurt? Way to give all women a bad name...


----------



## larry.gray

gbrad said:


> Well when it is family I'm sorry, but I don't want to see their personal body parts at all. And with my sisters, I don't ever want to think of them as sexual beings. No.



That's the issue right there. Naked bodies doesn't have to mean sex. I've seen family members partially or completely disrobed bodies. I didn't equate seeing that to sex, it was just natural. Probably having to do with it being commonplace prior to puberty.


----------



## larry.gray

Dollystanford said:


> it's not the child that wants it, it's the mother surely? the child is going to breast feed for as long as the mother chooses to breast feed


All three of mine quit on their own. Our oldest persisted for right about a year and my wife was considering weaning when she just quit on her own. The other two quit at 9 and 10 months, even though my wife had intended to keep going a full year.


----------



## MrsOldNews

Wow just wow. I don't even know how to respond to the last post from Ladyofthelake without getting banned.


----------



## larry.gray

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Nope. I think those women are an embarrassment to women everywhere. Such a fuss they make over such a stupid little thing. Just show some class and discretion and no one would ever notice you bfing. If you can't manage that, for gawd's sake do you have to crying to the media about your precious little feelings were hurt? Way to give all women a bad name...


I'm sure the feeling is mutual. 

Here you would be the vast minority. Yes, I do know women like you. One buddy's wife refused to BF because she thought it was "icky." You should have heard some of the other moms talk about her behind her back.


----------



## Maricha75

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Nope. I think those women are an embarrassment to women everywhere. Such a fuss they make over such a stupid little thing. Just show some class and discretion and no one would ever notice you bfing. If you can't manage that, for gawd's sake do you have to crying to the media about your precious little feelings were hurt? Way to give all women a bad name...


Stupid little thing? So, expecting a woman to go to the bathroom to feed her baby, rather than sitting at a table with the rest of her party, is stupid? Because that's the kind of shyt they are protesting against. I think those who are so hellbent on keeping women from feeding their children where they happen to be, whether a store or restaurant, or wherever are the ones lacking class. They're perfectly fine with women who parade around in skimpy clothing, revealing much less than a woman nursing her baby. And they are perfectly fine with bottle feeding babies. But let a woman feed her baby the way she was created to do, and she's classless. GMAFB. I'm more inclined to believe those who think breastfeeding a baby give women a bad name.... and THAT is more embarrasing than a nurse-in could ever be.


----------



## larry.gray

So basically, mom's milk is gross because it comes out of a woman's secretory glands, right?

So instead we should feed the kid something that comes out of the secretory glands of a cow?

I wonder, are you totally grossed out if you see someone eat an egg in a restaurant? After all, that's something that came out of a chicken's butt hole.


----------



## diwali123

Ew and honey came out of a bee's butt.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## LadyOfTheLake

larry.gray said:


> I'm sure the feeling is mutual.
> 
> Here you would be the vast minority. Yes, I do know women like you. One buddy's wife refused to BF because she thought it was "icky." You should have heard some of the other moms talk about her behind her back.


Welcome to the Mommy Wars....this ain't nuthin' compared to how bad it can get. Barely an opening salvo.


For the most part, I refuse to participate. The battles rage on about circumcision, cloth diapering, baby wearing, vaccinations, stay at home mum vs working mums, day care vs nannies....


Basically it all boils down to a bunch of spoiled over privileged middle class white women who don't like themselves, trying to one up each other. It's amusing to foray in once in awhile, and I haven't tangled in the BF FF debate in many years, so this has been fun.


----------



## larry.gray

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Such a fuss they make over such a stupid little thing.


/\
|

Why are you making such a fuss over it if it is "such a stupid little thing?"


----------



## larry.gray

diwali123 said:


> Ew and honey came out of a bee's butt.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Actually it is bee spit.


----------



## LadyOfTheLake

larry.gray said:


> So basically, mom's milk is gross because it comes out of a woman's secretory glands, right?
> 
> So instead we should feed the kid something that comes out of the secretory glands of a cow?
> 
> I wonder, are you totally grossed out if you see someone eat an egg in a restaurant? After all, that's something that came out of a chicken's butt hole.


Formula has been sanitized and sterilized and it isn't a bodily fluid. From a human. That's like eating snot, or blood, or pee, etc

Eggs have also been sanitized and sterilized, but its an animal product and animals are food so it doesn't hold the same ick factor..


----------



## Ikaika

Mom's milk is not gross, granted it does not taste as sweet... Slightly metallic, but is a little sweet. Yes, I have tasted it.


----------



## LadyOfTheLake

larry.gray said:


> /\
> |
> 
> Why are you making such a fuss over it if it is "such a stupid little thing?"


Who's making a fuss? I'm having a ball.

Like I said in previous posts, I ignore bfing in public. I wouldn't confront a woman who did it. Can't say I wouldn't laugh at her, and yes I know that would make me equally guilty of bad manners LOL.


----------



## Maricha75

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Formula has been sanitized and sterilized and it isn't a bodily fluid. From a human. That's like eating snot, or blood, or pee, etc
> 
> Eggs have also been sanitized and sterilized, but its an animal product and animals are food so it doesn't hold the same ick factor..


Have you smelled or tasted formula? THAT is truly disgusting. And really? You compare food to waste? Milk is not the same as blood or any waste that our bodies excrete. I really can't believe someone actually thinks something so ridiculous.


----------



## diwali123

Actually it is bee spit. 


Or bee vomit? Tasty...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Maricha75

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Who's making a fuss? I'm having a ball.
> 
> Like I said in previous posts, I ignore bfing in public. I wouldn't confront a woman who did it. Can't say I wouldn't laugh at her, and yes* I know that would make me equally guilty of bad manners *LOL.


More. At least the mother is doing something productive.


----------



## LadyOfTheLake

Maricha75 said:


> Have you smelled or tasted formula? THAT is truly disgusting. And really? You compare food to waste? Milk is not the same as blood or any waste that our bodies excrete. I really can't believe someone actually thinks something so ridiculous.


Of course I've smelled formula. I've only mixed up gallons of it. It smells like milk. So long as you don't get that DHA stuff. Enfamil smells horrible. I used store brand and it was quite pleasant. It all has to contain the same amount of stuff so why waste money on the expensive brands that smell horrid?

A bodily fluid is a bodily fluid IMO. No way I'm sharing mine with my kid after it's born. Is there a puke smiley here?


----------



## Maricha75

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Of course I've smelled formula. I've only mixed up gallons of it. It smells like milk. So long as you don't get that DHA stuff. Enfamil smells horrible. I used store brand and it was quite pleasant. It all has to contain the same amount of stuff so why waste money on the expensive brands that smell horrid?


Ummm no, it doesn't smell like milk. It smells very different. And taste? Wretched. After tasting a tiny amount myself, it was no surprise to me WHY my kids refused it. Utterly revolting.



LadyOfTheLake said:


> A bodily fluid is a bodily fluid IMO. No way I'm sharing mine with my kid after it's born. Is there a puke smiley here?


You are absolutely out of your mind to think that something designed to nourish your infant is on par with feces. That thought process is disgusting. Truly am amazed at the ignorance of some people.

Oh, and no vomit smiley here. Wish there was.


----------



## larry.gray

diwali123 said:


> Actually it is bee spit.
> 
> 
> Or bee vomit? Tasty...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yep, you're right, its vomit not spit.


----------



## Starstarfish

So - are we only grossed out by human body secretions or animal ones as well? Are you a vegan? If not - why is say - animal blood or animal milk not gross and disgusting to think about where it came from - but when its human on human its just horrifying?

(Note, I'm not vegan, I love meat, and BF doesn't bother me.)

Also - I'm hoping at no point did the kids hear about the time they were once boring, blobs who were only proto-human. 

And on a lighter note:



> And when a woman is breastfeeding and continues to have a casual conversation with those around her ...


Plenty of women can manage that in the bathroom when going pee as well, and will just keep talking through the bathroom stall walls as well. I think that's probably a best friend test - Will I talk to you while you are peeing, and do I care?


----------



## LadyOfTheLake

Starstarfish said:


> So - are we only grossed out by human body secretions or animal ones as well? Are you a vegan? If not - why is say - animal blood or animal milk not gross and disgusting to think about where it came from - but when its human on human its just horrifying?
> 
> (Note, I'm not vegan, I love meat, and BF doesn't bother me.)
> 
> Also - I'm hoping at no point did the kids hear about the time they were once boring, blobs who were only proto-human.
> 
> ?



Me? Vegan? :rofl:

I grew up on a dairy farm. I've been knee deep in everything that can come out of a cow, pig, or chicken. I catch, clean and fillet my own fish...there is nothing that comes out of an animal that grosses me out.

But I view humans as better than animals, in a different sphere. People are not food LOL. Animals provide food, people don't. And women have been liberated from such primal and primitive things that enslaved them, like bfing and 24/7 child care. And we live in a sanitized society. Bodily fluids transmissions are to be avoided at all costs, literally on pain of death in some cases. That does indoctrinate in a person that human secretions are disgusting.


----------



## Maricha75

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Me? Vegan? :rofl:
> 
> I grew up on a dairy farm. I've been knee deep in everything that can come out of a cow, pig, or chicken. I catch, clean and fillet my own fish...there is nothing that comes out of an animal that grosses me out.
> 
> But I view humans as better than animals, in a different sphere. People are not food LOL. Animals provide food, people don't. And women have been liberated from such primal and primitive things that enslaved them, like bfing and 24/7 child care. And we live in a sanitized society. Bodily fluids transmissions are to be avoided at all costs, literally on pain of death in some cases. That does indoctrinate in a person that human secretions are disgusting.


You truly believe that laughing at a woman who chooses to breastfeed her baby is liberating? You truly believe that a woman who chooses to breastfeed her baby is enslaved? I feel sorry for you, if that is how you truly feel about it. I don't feel like a slave to my children. I chose what was best for them. It really is hard to believe that there are people who view mother's milk as little more than feces. That's like telling a mother that she ought to feed THAT to her baby. THAT is disgusting, not something that is produced specifically for the purpose of nourishing a baby. Sad, indeed. 

And really, it's really fascinating that one can look at human milk, produced for human infant consumption, as excrement... yet be perfectly fine with the same item from a cow or goat.... milk that was intended to nourish a calf or a kid (not human, but goat)... Cow bodily fluids are ok, but human is not. Fascinating...


----------



## Starstarfish

As a SAHM, maybe next year on our joint filled tax return I should write in as my profession "Slave."

I'm guessing that might get us audited though. Hmm.


----------



## somethingelse

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Animals provide food, people don't. And women have been liberated from such primal and primitive things that enslaved them, like bfing and 24/7 child care. And we live in a sanitized society. Bodily fluids transmissions are to be avoided at all costs


Do you seriously believe what you just said? People don't provide food? 
Then why do women produce milk? For sh*&% and giggles? 

You think just because we've become an industrialized, feminist aware society that suddenly a woman's breast milk *specifically for feeding an infant* is null and void? Please re-think what you have just said.

Sanitized society? Phhh come on now. Does your s*&% still stink?

Enslaving us? Now you're going way too far. 

Body fluid transmissions to be avoided at all costs?? Hmm...then I better never touch my H again or God forbid I might transmit bodily fluids


----------



## diwali123

But I view humans as better than animals, in a different sphere. People are not food LOL. Animals provide food, people don't. And women have been liberated from such primal and primitive things that enslaved them, like bfing and 24/7 child care. And we live in a sanitized society. Bodily fluids transmissions are to be avoided at all costs, literally on pain of death in some cases. That does indoctrinate in a person that human secretions are disgusting.

You sound like you would be a blast in the sack.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## diwali123

Did you know breast milk has antibiotic properties? Ewwwwwww! It can also kill cancerous cells. Disgusting!!!! 
I hope you never have to get a blood transfusion, you might go insane. Oh no...periods! And French kissing! So gross. 
This is just turning to silliness. Seriously the extremity if views being expressed leads me to suspect that maybe there is some "lets get people riled up, what other weird thing can I post?" going on.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## somethingelse

diwali123 said:


> Did you know breast milk has antibiotic properties? Ewwwwwww! It can also kill cancerous cells. Disgusting!!!!
> I hope you never have to get a blood transfusion, you might go insane. Oh no...periods! And French kissing! So gross.
> This is just turning to silliness. Seriously the extremity if views being expressed leads me to suspect that maybe there is some "lets get people riled up, what other weird thing can I post?" going on.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



My thoughts exactly


----------



## diwali123

But taking sexy videos of yourself to send to your h at work is fine. Missionary position and transmission of bodily fluids, hair pulling, out of the question!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## soccermom2three

Wow! This is the 2nd time I've encountered a person on a message board that equates breast milk with urine and feces. I thought the first person was just being contrary, you know debate for the sake of debating but I guess there are really people out there that think this way. It kind of makes me wonder WHY they think this way.

Oh, and I agree formula reeks and it really makes the baby's poop reek too. Breast milk poop doesn't smell. Well, at least it didn't with my kids.


----------



## staarz21

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Me? Vegan? :rofl:
> 
> I grew up on a dairy farm. I've been knee deep in everything that can come out of a cow, pig, or chicken. I catch, clean and fillet my own fish...there is nothing that comes out of an animal that grosses me out.
> 
> But I view humans as better than animals, in a different sphere. People are not food LOL. Animals provide food, people don't. And women have been liberated from such primal and primitive things that enslaved them, like bfing and 24/7 child care. And we live in a sanitized society.* Bodily fluids transmissions are to be avoided at all costs, literally on pain of death in some cases.* That does indoctrinate in a person that human secretions are disgusting.


Okay so I am addressing the bold part. 

You have children correct? In order for that to happen...if I'm not mistaken, (and I'm sure I'm not as I am 9 months pregnant now) there has to be an exchange of body fluids...mainly semen. I wonder how that went with your H. "Sorry dear, I don't like the exchange of any body fluids, so our children must be made in a lab?" I doubt it.

Sooooo, you don't like sex? I hear in some cases, saliva is also exchanged between partners when they kiss. That really had to turn your stomach. Is he aware that you find his body fluids revolting? 

Our breasts were created to make milk for our young. Plain and simple. I honestly think some of the things you are saying here are strictly to get a rise out of people now.


----------



## diwali123

Because it gets a rise out of people.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## somethingelse

Uh oh....we have a whiny child on our hands in this thread. Better take her out before she starts irritating all of us


----------



## gbrad

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Spare me the platitudes. You said that breastfeeding in public is something rude women do and to prevent men like you getting their penises inverted, pump at home or use formula. You have dismissed every woman here who says that bottle feeding even with breast milk creates problems and that swtiching to formula is not nearly as healthy as breast milk and can cause serious stomach problems. You still continue to moan about how you simply can't look away or leave because apparently you have no free will.


Spare you the platitudes. I am sorry, but you were the one who changed the words that I said to make it mean something that I did not. Simple fact. 
And again, I don't get turned on when I see a woman breastfeeding, I get uncomfortable and annoyed.


----------



## that_girl

:rofl:

Dear god.


----------



## gbrad

that_girl said:


> :rofl:
> 
> Dear god.


Exactly what I am saying. Need to send up a prayer tonight to find out why people can't be more polite to others.


----------



## diwali123

But if you did get turned on that's ok too. I think.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## somethingelse

gbrad said:


> Spare you the platitudes. I am sorry, but you were the one who changed the words that I said to make it mean something that I did not. Simple fact.
> And again, I don't get turned on when I see a woman breastfeeding, I get uncomfortable and annoyed.


She said inverted not extroverted


----------



## gbrad

somethingelse said:


> She said inverted not extroverted


ahh crap, I twisted her words then. Didn't mean to, apologies to all for doing such a thing.


----------



## LadyOfTheLake

diwali123 said:


> This is just turning to silliness. Seriously the extremity if views being expressed leads me to suspect that maybe there is some "lets get people riled up, what other weird thing can I post?" going on.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That's not it at all. I'm sure I could think of things much more shocking than being anti breastfeeding if I just wanted to get a rise out of people. I'm not trolling. I really do think and feel this way and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I've had other women say similar things to me, back when I discussed this sort of thing with real people. But so often women are afraid to say what they REALLY think and feel for fear of being censured and shamed. You've all tried it here, calling me crazy, cold, supressive, repressive, ignorant...all for not conforming to the majority belief. I have my own set of beliefs that I live by and by which I judge others. That will never change. Whether you think it rational or not, my own feelings make perfect sense to me. As yours do to you. You(general "you") think I'm all sorts of mean and awful things because I don't like babies and won't be bothered with fussing over them or acting like a milk cow. To me, that makes perfect rational sense. Why be so tied down when modern society offers freedom to every woman? I know, I know, you are as baffled by my desire for freedom for women as I am by your refusal to accept it. Trust me, I've heard it ALL before.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## LadyOfTheLake

diwali123 said:


> But taking sexy videos of yourself to send to your h at work is fine. Missionary position and transmission of bodily fluids, hair pulling, out of the question!!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


LOL, I love sex and I am very good at it. Nothing wrong with missionary, but that is just a starting point....

Those bodily fluids...still gross. But the swapping is done internally, LOL. Don't see it, don't think about it. Still eww, but both dh and I are clear of all diseases. That is the main reason fluids transmission is such a big no no in our society.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## BFGuru

Done reading this misinformed thread.

I will leave a few points though.

There is most definitely benefit to breast feeding past a year. Anyone who has studied the properties of breast milk will understand this. The anti infective properties alone have benefit as a child's immune system is not fully developed until age six. 

Secondly there are proteins that coat the GI tract and protect it from harmful micro organisms. 

Thirdly, the vitamins and minerals present in breast milk at the beginning of infancy do not disappear. 

It is downright uneducated to imply that there is no nutritional value after a certain age. Breast milk does not magically turn into water at some point. It remains far healthier than cows milk forever. And not that we are advocating breast feeling adults, but dictating a woman stop when you feel they should goes against most medical advice. Especially considering the AAP clearly states there is "benefit into the third year and beyond..." As long as it is mutually continued. As soon as one member of the nursing dyad is finished, be that mom or babe, then it is finished, unless that baby is under a year. Then it is MEDICALLY recommended to try to convince babe back to the breast.

Regarding public breast feeding, well nay Sayers can just get our themselves. The law is not on your side. Anywhere a mother and child are permitted, a mother is legally allowed to breast feeding publicly there in the United States and in Canada and most Western countries. Your discomfort with the situation does not supersede the law.


----------



## that_girl

Yea. Just turn away. Seriously. It's not difficult.


----------



## diwali123

You said on another thread you wouldn't "allow" missionary position. I'm done with your ridiculousness.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## I Notice The Details

Just had to add this for humor...I think boobs are beautiful and I loved to see my wife breast feed...please continue the arguing...


----------



## Wiserforit

Wow. One person lays exclusive claim to what represents modern society. The rest of us are Neanderthals. 

My wife breast fed both boys for two years. She did wean the second one with hot peppers applied to her boobies, He didn't want to quit. 

I don't have an issue with it in public. We only go to town every 2-6 weeks so it wasn't really an issue for us personally. It rarely happened.


----------



## TCSRedhead

LMAO!!! So, my friend was just visiting my home with her beautiful 6 week old son. She nursed him twice. In our living room. On our couch. 

He was content to be fed and we got to visit - no crabby baby. 

Babies don't have any other means to communicate other than crying. Saying you won't tolerate it is just absurd - how else can they make their wants and needs known? 

Bodily fluids are not to be avoided in loving relationships. I swap spit with my husband, have sex with LOTS of bodily fluids, breastfed my son. He drools on me all the time. That's not gross either - he's teething. Perhaps I should scold him or teach him better? We probably shouldn't mention what type of fluid transfer took place while my son was napping either - LOL!!

I've had my children pee on me, pewp on me, and puke on me. Not my first choices of activities but I'm certainly not going to freak out and make them feel bad about it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AnnieAsh

TCSRedhead said:


> LMAO!!! So, my friend was just visiting my home with her beautiful 6 week old son. She nursed him twice. In our living room. On our couch.
> 
> He was content to be fed and we got to visit - no crabby baby.
> 
> Babies don't have any other means to communicate other than crying. Saying you won't tolerate it is just absurd - how else can they make their wants and needs known?
> 
> Bodily fluids are not to be avoided in loving relationships. I swap spit with my husband, have sex with LOTS of bodily fluids, breastfed my son. He drools on me all the time. That's not gross either - he's teething. Perhaps I should scold him or teach him better? We probably shouldn't mention what type of fluid transfer took place while my son was napping either - LOL!!
> 
> I've had my children pee on me, pewp on me, and puke on me. Not my first choices of activities but I'm certainly not going to freak out and make them feel bad about it.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I concur. I love therefore I willingly swap bodily fluids.


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## somethingelse

I Notice The Details said:


> Just had to add this for humor...I think boobs are beautiful and I loved to see my wife breast feed...please continue the arguing...


Us ladies love to bicker


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