# husband had/is having emotional affari



## jlfull (Nov 28, 2010)

My husband and i have had some rough times in the last 4 years. He recently had yet another emotional affair. He continues to text and go to lunch with the woman (they work together and they are our new neighbors, what a combination). He acknowledges that he had an EA but that they are just friends now. They continue to text constantly. I don't think that you can go from an EA to just friends. Am i wrong in this thinking?


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## Orion (Jul 17, 2010)

jlfull said:


> My husband and i have had some rough times in the last 4 years. He recently had yet another emotional affair. He continues to text and go to lunch with the woman (they work together and they are our new neighbors, what a combination). He acknowledges that he had an EA but that they are just friends now. They continue to text constantly. I don't think that you can go from an EA to just friends. Am i wrong in this thinking?


Hell no you aren't wrong! If he is really trying to save his marriage, he would not even text her like that. You should put your foot down with regards to this. If they have to work together, there is little to be done about that unless he gets a different job. But texting and stuff is disrespectful and I doubt that they are "just friends". He is probably still carrying some feelings for her. Do not let him tell you otherwise. He was wrong for having the EA and he needs to do what is necessary get some distance between them. Good luck.


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## chefmaster (Oct 30, 2010)

jlfull said:


> I don't think that you can go from an EA to just friends. Am i wrong in this thinking?


It's possible, just getting busted having an EA can sour the affair. Whether he is still involved or not doesn't matter, they shouldn't be texting now.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

He's lying to you and/or to himself. There is no going back to friends after an EA and all contact must end, permanently. And the two of you need counseling b/c if he has had "another" EA, that means something is seriously missing in the relationship or seriously wrong with him--if you choose to stay married, get it figured out because sooner or later one of his EAs will become a PA and then you have issues of health risks, extra-marital children, etc., etc, etc. Why do you stay married to him when he can't seem to stay faithful to you?


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## mariem1967 (Dec 1, 2010)

Sorry to be direct but i don't know what are you waiting for? How come you tolerate that behavior from him for 4 years? I mean, many woman would be already divorced by now.


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## amanda1959 (Mar 29, 2010)

There is a woman that is a "business colleague" that has been just too close to my husband. The two of them were on a business board together and then she followed him to another hospital board. At xmas parties and board events my husband was constantly starring at her. After one of the board galas she texted him saying "it was nice seeing the two of you last night. We got through .... and /// (referring to the last two events) giddy-up! That text made me very up set and after I read it on his blackberry he ran to the home office to erase the call history. I did not let on that I had read the last e-mail but yet after he read that e-mail he erased the call history. During marriage counselling I told him his relationship with her was much too close for comfort and her saying giddy-up was not business lingo. He was not to have contact with her again. 6 mths later I found out he used her insurance company for his business and again they were talking. I questioned him and he bluntly said he promised no contact but that didn't mean the business insurance.
This was just another example of the dis-respect he showed for me and our marriage. Another example of a dis-regad for my feelings.

Your husband is being dis-respectful to you. Put your foot down and say no contact or you walk! Very disrespectful and reminds me of my husbands erogence!


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## LonelyNLost (Dec 11, 2010)

Have you confronted her? Or her husband? My DH has an EA, and it's hard to get over. Even when he did cut contact with her. And having her as a neighbor would be a deal breaker! Are you still in counseling? What does he say about it? What's his defense?


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## amanda1959 (Mar 29, 2010)

Lonelynlost do you think it is adviseable to confront the woman or her husband...they could just deny it....


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## LonelyNLost (Dec 11, 2010)

amanda1959 said:


> Lonelynlost do you think it is adviseable to confront the woman or her husband...they could just deny it....


I meant the OW's husband. And my man belongs to me, I'll make my position very clear with anyone trying to overtake my territory. People can also deny, but sometimes actions and making your position known can be powerful. Every situation is different, of course.


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