# Is my husband cheating on me??



## Tina Sweeney (Jun 20, 2012)

I have never posted a thread in my life before, but i am desperate for another's perspective!

My husband and i have been married for over a year. I am 16 years younger than he is and in excellent shape. In the beginning he was so loving, affectionate and complementary of me. After we moved in together, with his 3 teenage children, he became, well just mean. He constantly accuses me of cheating, he has placed a phone tracker on my phone, constantly tells me i am going or am places that i am not. I get up, go to work for 8 hours and then come home and take care of the house and his kids. I am not allowed to meet friends or even really talk to them on the phone anymore. He travels out of town Monday through Friday for 9 months of the year.

I don't want this post to be too long because i want you to read it and please tell me what you think!!!!

The first 6 months of our relationship we had sex 4-7 times a week, i know the initial sex stage, but his friends have always said that he HAS to have sex to be happy. He has told me he has an extremely strong sex drive and that he wants to have sex all of the time. Anyway...we slipped into the 2-3 times a week after we moved in together even though he was only in town 2 days a week.

Today is not affectionate at all, no loving words, no more touches, not even a kiss goodnight. He says that he feels bad all the time, blames it on the sleeping medication he takes, whatever other excuse you can think of on not having sex.

We have not had sex in over 6 weeks until this morning. No kissing, not looking at each other, just sex. 

He is back in town now for 3 months and he couldn't go 2 days without having sex. I think that he has been cheating on me for the last 6 months. He goes out of town and gets his sex fix there and can go without it the 2 days that he sees me, BUT NOW that he is in town now and has only been for 4 days so far we suddenly have sex.

HELP!!! someone please tell me what you think.


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## Kathrynthegreat (Apr 23, 2012)

Regardless of whether or not he is cheating, your husband is emotionally abusive and controlling. Not something you should put up with.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

He sounds like a complete and total *******. He probably is cheating on you - sound like something a controlling abusive prick would do, and your husband is a controlling abusive prick by the sounds of it.

Whether he's cheating or not sounds like the least of your worries. If I were you I'd leave and never contact him ever again.


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## thrway214 (Feb 24, 2012)

Tina: your instincts are important. Trust them. You have a few choices:

1. Tell him how you feel and ask him to be truthful. Unfortunately, this is very unlikely to work. He will lie, if he has been cheating.

2. Start monitoring. Use VARs, keyloggers to see if he has been up to something. But be careful to stay objective and not become obsessive or paranoid. 

But most importantly, and you really don't have a choice on this one - stop feeling pathetic and become strong. You were independent, attractive and worthy before you met him. Stand up for yourself and if he makes you feel like **** - don't take it.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I wouldn't even bother trying to find out if he's cheating. Why bother?? No one should have to live the way she's living. No one.

Get out of this parody of a relationship. Now.


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

He probably does like to have sex often. With a variety of women. He has you as the babysitter of his 3 teenagers.

16 years difference is quite a gap. When he's 70, you will be 54. You'll end up his nurse and caretaker also.

Should you decide not to divorce him, the positive side is that you can get your revenge then. ;-)


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## thrway214 (Feb 24, 2012)

Tina: you will hear a lot of advice here that says leave your spouse and move on. Take that with a grain of salt. At this point in time, you don't have to decide one way or another. It isn't a casual decision, I am sure. Give yourself time and information before you choose - and you do have a choice to leave. First, gain the strength to decide on a firm footing.


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

thrway214 said:


> Tina: you will hear a lot of advice here that says leave your spouse and move on. Take that with a grain of salt. At this point in time, you don't have to decide one way or another. It isn't a casual decision, I am sure. Give yourself time and information before you choose - and you do have a choice to leave. First, gain the strength to decide on a firm footing.


:iagree: :iagree:


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Tina Sweeney said:


> In the beginning he was so loving, affectionate and complementary of me. After we moved in together, with his 3 teenage children, *he became, well just mean*. He constantly accuses me of cheating, he has *placed a phone tracker on my phone*, constantly tells me i am going or am places that i am not. I get up, go to work for 8 hours and then come home and take care of the house and his kids. I am *not allowed* to meet friends or even really talk to them on the phone anymore.


This sounds like something she should choose to remain in????


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## Tina Sweeney (Jun 20, 2012)

thank you ladies for all of the advise. I have been hearing all of this from my mom for the last 6 months. Living in his world of "smoke and mirrors" has left me tired, worn-down and second-guessing every move i make. I am turning 30 in september and hope to have the strength by then to be on my way to living a better life, alone, and having a glass of wine with my 2 best friends that day.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I was 31 when I met my hubby  Do what you know you need to. Hugs.


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