# "No, his wife is so cool!"



## drifting apart (Apr 17, 2012)

So i stopped at a place to have lunch today where I knew a girl would be that had info on my wive's company.

So she asks me how my wife is doing at the biz she works at, I said she is happy I guess why? She said she knows the 3 owners and asked if i ever met them or know them which i said I do, and she asked me my opinion I asked for hers first.

"2 of them are pigs, with a capital P-I-G, cannot stand them. No one here likes them... they are shady sorry."

I laughed since I thought this from the very beginning and my wife would deny deny deny... they are not like that, don't judge them!

so I asked if she ever saw my wife in this place and she said no, but they do talk about her alot. My friend, who btw I have not seen in probably 10 years at another restaurant my wife and I were at, said she askedthem how she was doing as they were mutual friends, they told her, Oh J.., She is so cool! Not prudy at all, like one of the guys! We can talk to her about anything and everything and not worry about any sexual harrassment suits" and shesaid they all laughed.

Now i guy we hang out with the wife and family, but the other 2 have invited us to parties, but my wife never wants to go, " i work withthem all day why do i want to hang ut with them."

Don't know what I am asking, just venting I guess.. and curious...


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## anon54 (Apr 26, 2012)

Sounds like she has a chummy relationship with a couple of the owners where she puts up with a lot of inappropriate comments. (key word=owners). Fact that she doesn't want to hang out with them when invited isn't significant, I don't want to spend my private time with coworkers since I keep business and personal life separate. The reality of the matter is that we all have different work and personal lives, and for some this involves different personalities too. I am often surprised when I discover the difference in the two...

Anyway, while many people develop personal friendships at work, I think it's poor judgment and involves too much work place risks, such as job security. But I'm a guy and my approach is based on experience where I now treat women just like men. Women don't have the same degree of risk, get different treatment when it comes to workplace difficulties, and are much more emotional about their workplace connections. So she may be just dealing with her situation as she thinks appropriate.

My advice? Discuss and evaluate where this job fits in your future financial plans as a couple and encourage her to move at the next better opportunity. But I don't think it's much different from a situation where you would come home complaining your bosses were treating you like dirt. The answer is the same, move on to bigger and better opportunity. No matter what people say, working for other sucks and sometimes fresh starts are a blessing.


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## drifting apart (Apr 17, 2012)

thanks for the advice anon, it is a little deeper then that though.
she never had a father figure and even when we met always had guys all around her. The 'brewkrew" they were called. nothing serious just some dudes she and another girl hung out with, never bothered me cause I also had female friends.
She was "Most Popular" and cheerleader in high school and loved the attention


That was 25 years ago, before we got married we discussed how all the flirting, screwing around bs ends. 

And it did, or so I think, now i am ot so sure since I catch her in lies all the time. seriously do not think she is physically cheating but just loves being "Most Popular" again as she was the only female in the construction office for a year, now there are 3.

When we are getting along well, she tells me everything at work, again or so i think, but how this crew guy was upset cause his gf dumped him and my wife had to comfort him, ie: you will be ok, you will find another bs.

My main problem is with the boss even she calls shady, as I know from a mans perspective how this type of jackass operates. He wealthy, educated and drinks like a fish all day, gets whatever he wants when ever he wants, has a wife and 3 kids at home but according to my wife is never home. a competitor bought a ferrari so he has bought a lambourgini, even though the company needs more material for the work they have on hand. My wife told me all that as she is pissed he is wasting away cash then asking her when nmore is coming in.

And since he can't have my wife or hasn't, in my opinion, she is atarget for him. I explained this to her and she gets defensive and begins with the "No, he is not like that, seriously!" Yet, my friend in the restaurant/bar says different. So its another lie I am sure. 

its not just my gut either as there was also an incident: 
The copany gives tickets away to events all the time to contractors and the employees, my wife finally accepted 2 seats for the hockey game from the drinking owner and told him our son loves hockey. He said he would see her and my son there and she wouldfinally meet his wife, who still in 2 years she nver met, yet has met the other 2 guys wives as well as several crew members.

Anyway, my son and I go, the box they were in was empty except for the food and lots of booze, when this guy gets there he islike oh hey, where is your wife. Told him it was just me and my son, and he looked very dissapointed.. I asked him so where is your wife? Oh yea she doesn't like hockey. really?

Now to be completely fair to my wife, she is a beautiful woman, but also always has had not just the gift of gab, but a talent for listening, really listening to people. She can hold a conversation with a stranger for an hour and never mention herself or our family and leave the focus on them, which I know attracts people in a positive manner. 
I just wonder if she really is that niave to this guy or playing me and enjoying the attention


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## anon54 (Apr 26, 2012)

dude, I know her type, I'm married to one; no father figure, very attractive, attention wh*re. She is wired for male attention and beautiful women usually are, it's the way they measure their self-worth. And you know you can't even beat it out of them, its just something you have to accept since that's part of the deal in marrying an attractive woman (flaky-ness). But if this guy is the douche bag you describe, there probably isn't anything physical but she enjoys his company, i.e. attention. It maybe an EA (emotional affair) as they call it around here. The more I'm learning about it, make sense.

Someone recommended a book on amazon in my post that's worth a peak of their sample pages you can read online.

"Not 'Just Friends': Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity" by Shirley Glass

You maybe able to repair it. Good luck


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

drifting apart said:


> thanks for the advice anon, it is a little deeper then that though.
> she never had a father figure and even when we met always had guys all around her. The 'brewkrew" they were called. nothing serious just some dudes she and another girl hung out with, never bothered me cause I also had female friends.
> She was "Most Popular" and cheerleader in high school and loved the attention
> 
> ...



Good sign she sent you and son to hockey game don't you think?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CLucas976 (Jun 27, 2010)

"Oh J.., She is so cool! Not prudy at all, like one of the guys! We can talk to her about anything and everything and not worry about any sexual harrassment suits" 

I would look at this two ways. First, you're talking about 3 guys discussing their female coworker in the work place. ANYTHING is just about fair game as sexual harassment. I wouldn't just assume that she's up to something here right off the get go, this statement could be purely harmless; but I am kind of relating it to myself too. I talk about absurd perverted things and any of my coworkers male or female are welcome to open any (and I mean any) topic they want to me and can expect a blunt honest response.

They very well could be saying exactly what they said, she's cool, she's not prudy, and they don't have to worry about sexual harassment.

all of that rationale being said, I would talk to your wife about it. If it bothers you, say something. I could see that situation from your stand point starting to make my wheels turn in my head, and it's either going to build up to some grand scheme and cause a huge ordeal, or you need to say something and see what her response is.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

sounds like big trouble in little china!

heres the question if it bothers you that she like this and you have comunicated that to her and she just ignors it then you don't rate in her book. if thas ok with you then theres no problem.


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