# Question on children and fighting with ex over school



## maincourse99 (Aug 15, 2012)

My ex-wife wants our daughter to the school in the district where she (the ex) lives. My daughter has been in the same elementary school for 7 years, now entering junior high and the ex thinks the school is better where she and POSOM live.

Thing is D12 wants to continue with the same kids she's been with, took a tour and listened to a presentation at the junior high in our area and is very excited to go there. 

The ex doesn't care one bit about her feelings. My lawyer told me that no judge would go against the child's wishes in a case like this. The school is near the house she's grown up in and she's in that house with me 3/4 of the time. 

Has anyone been through a situation like this? I told my ex to get a lawyer and I'll gladly see her in court, but she has no money and today threatened to just come get her in the morning and take her to "her" school. Unbelievable. I'm just venting. These WS leave and get what they supposedly want, but it's never enough I guess.

She has D12 10 hours a week, shows no interest in anything school related (like homework, field trips, teacher conferences) and now wants to play mother of the year.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

So what does your lawyer says your next steps should be? He's your best guide. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ceegee (Sep 9, 2012)

maincourse99 said:


> My ex-wife wants our daughter to the school in the district where she (the ex) lives. My daughter has been in the same elementary school for 7 years, now entering junior high and the ex thinks the school is better where she and POSOM live.
> 
> Thing is D12 want to continue with the same kids she's been with, took a tour and listened to a presentation at the junior high in our area and is very excited to go there.
> 
> ...


Tell her she's going to the school she wants to go to - as planned. She can't just pick her up and take her to another school. She has to be registered and it doesn't sound like she has legal residency to fill out the necessary paperwork.

If she just shows up at your house unannounced to try and take her you just call the cops.


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## Isuck (Jul 1, 2012)

Tell her to put her child FIRST.

It's not about her it's not about you, it's about what the kid wants.

I say fight her tooth and nail on this one. You are right and the ex is being a complete idiot.


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## maincourse99 (Aug 15, 2012)

_So what does your lawyer says your next steps should be? He's your best guide. _

All he told me was that judges side with the child that are the age mine is and that he would represent me in court. I can't see why I have to fight for it, the ex is the one who wants to make the change.


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## maincourse99 (Aug 15, 2012)

_Tell her she's going to the school she wants to go to - as planned. She can't just pick her up and take her to another school. She has to be registered and it doesn't sound like she has legal residency to fill out the necessary paperwork.

If she just shows up at your house unannounced to try and take her you just call the cops_

She has actually enrolled her in the school in her area, so D12 is registered in both. I like the cops idea, then maybe a restraining order if she persists.


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## maincourse99 (Aug 15, 2012)

_Tell her to put her child FIRST.

It's not about her it's not about you, it's about what the kid wants.

I say fight her tooth and nail on this one. You are right and the ex is being a complete idiot._

Totally agree with this. I even told her, let's compromise and if D12 doesn't like where she's going we can consider switching.


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## Peeps678 (May 21, 2013)

With the age of your daughter, I would definitely let her decide where to go. Has she told your ex where she wants to go? If she has, Im assuming it hasn't helped.


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## maincourse99 (Aug 15, 2012)

_With the age of your daughter, I would definitely let her decide where to go. Has she told your ex where she wants to go? If she has, Im assuming it hasn't helped_

Yes Peep, she knows my daughters' wishes, and she feels very strongly about it. My ex doesn't care. I prefer not to have D12 get involved in a court process. I just can't comprehend my ex continuing to push the issue. A woman who basically abandoned her daughter and abdicated her daily care to me.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Ask your lawyer what to do about the registration at the other school.


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## BFGuru (Jan 28, 2013)

Get up early, take your daughter out for breakfast, then straight to school. Contact the school and inform them that Ex is planning on basically abducting her to a new location and that she is no longer permitted on the school grounds. Or as an emergency contact until this issue is resolved. Pick your daughter up from school as well. Inform the local police department of it as well and let her know that it is considered parental child abduction if she even dares.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

The burden is on your ex. Ask your attorney about an exparte TRO order to preclude the enrollment in another school system. Once you have the order, give a copy to both schools. Then if she wants to fight it, its all on her.


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## SurpriseMyself (Nov 14, 2009)

Isuck said:


> Tell her to put her child FIRST.
> 
> It's not about her it's not about you, it's about what the kid wants.
> 
> I say fight her tooth and nail on this one. You are right and the ex is being a complete idiot.


I agree here, but not about telling her to put the child first. I think she probably does put the child first. And if she doesn't, it's only b/c she wants to be stubborn and have her way over your objections.

It's a cold, heartless woman that doesn't want what's best for her child. Use that to your advantage. Talk to her about what she REALLY wants for your child. What is best for your child. Let her come to her own conclusion which, I bet, is the same as yours and your daughter's. But if you force it, she will reject it.

Good luck! I appreciate how important this is to you.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

From the divorces I've seen, one parent is responsible for making the decision about school but if the other parent disagrees with that decision then it goes before a judge and he decides where the child goes.


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## maincourse99 (Aug 15, 2012)

Thanks for all the responses, great advice.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

What does it say in the divorce agreement? Are you the primary parent who makes all the decisions or is it joint?


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## C3156 (Jun 13, 2012)

Mavash. said:


> What does it say in the divorce agreement? Are you the primary parent who makes all the decisions or is it joint?


Hopefully this was addressed in the divoce agreement. If not, you should seek a modification to be specific about this point. If you are going to seek a modification, I would go with any other grey area items as well to get it taken care of at one time. If you know that you are going to have trouble on certain issues, better to address them now instead of multible visits to the courthouse (get $$$ that way).


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