# Wife left me in limbo to travel the country



## Husband2349 (Oct 9, 2017)

A little background. Been married a year. Together for two. Both divorced. I am 42. She is 31. 

She received a large inheritance from father. So she does not work. I own a business. 

She tends to be what I would call a "runner". Any disagreement quickly escalates to "I want a divorce. I am leaving ". And she starts to pack. 

This has been the cycle for the last month. And after a while it leads me to saying harsh things. And then she blames those words on her leaving. No matter how much she snaps at me, it is my reaction that is the cause. 

She moved all of her things in with her mom. But wanted to be with me day and night. Constant sex. Love talk etc. but she moved out for about a week. 

This limbo and mixed signals was driving me mad. Seemed to be day to day as to what she would do. At night tell me she will move back in. In the morning she would just coldly tell me "of course I am not going to live here. I been telling you that"

So after an argument she went home and booked a flight to see her kids and stay with a girlfriend. Said she is staying an entire month. We never been apart for more than 2 days. 

I did not think she would folllow through, but she actually left. She texts me how much she misses me and everything. Sexts with me. Etc. but I have literally no clue what she does all day or at night. Just sit at her friends house???
She also blamed me for her booking the ticket because of our argument. 

She says she will not have sex with anyone else, as I am the only man that ever made love to her and it is too amazing. She says she can't stay with me, her mom stresses her out, so she just needs to "clear her head". And that all she knows is that she loves me, but doesn't know how to live with me 

Originally she told me she wants to drive around the country on this trip and just pick a random state to move to. Without me. 

Then she said she wants to stay married, willl see me in a month, but we should have our own places. Not live together. 

At this point my mind goes to bad places at times. Wondering if she is cheating. Wants divorce. Looking for someone else. And I don't even know how to be. Should I text her? Talk to her? Ask what she is doing? Just so awakard. 

Mentally move on without her? Stay relevant? Ask what her plans are? Just be aloof? 

Right now I just don't know how to act.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Let her go.

Runners will always run until they set about to not be one. Even then, there is no guarantee.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

i hate saying this because i don't like the grief that it will bring you sound like a good dude, but your wife is not marriage material.

believe me, i've been with women like this and in love. so bad wanted to make it work and tried everything.
the little man inside my head told me not to marry or even ask for marriage. i'm glad i didn't, but i truly sympathize.


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

OP
Is your W an only child? She seems spoiled as in extremely immature and quite selfish. These are not character traits that bode well for a marriage. And they are nearly impossible to change, especially at her age. I regret having to say this but this is most likely your future if you try to stay with her. She is so self absorbed that she cannot fathom your feelings and will therefore always behave like this. You will either have to accommodate and accept her behavior or leave and find an adult to be in a relationship with. I would advise the latter. Good fortune to you.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

She sounds like a lunatic.

I would get a divorce on the grounds of abandonment (if you need grounds these days, which I guess you don't).


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## ButtPunch (Sep 17, 2014)

Only married a year......yeah let her go


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## Husband2349 (Oct 9, 2017)

Talked to her today. Instead of texting. 

Like a different person. Just said "yeah I don't like the state we live in. I think I want to live somewhere else but we can stay married and be together in the future"

Is this a joke? She told me before leaving she wants to remain where we live and work it out.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Quality of life man. Life is too short to spend any more time chasing. Not when there is a big bright world of other women out there. It's hard to be married to someone with mental illness and more then likely that is what she has.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

You obviously know the answer, but you're resisting. I'd have her served at her friends house and block her number on everything.


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## ReturntoZero (Aug 31, 2015)

Husband2349 said:


> Talked to her today. Instead of texting.
> 
> Like a different person. Just said "yeah I don't like the state we live in. I think I want to live somewhere else but we can stay married and be together in the future"
> 
> Is this a joke? She told me before leaving she wants to remain where we live and work it out.


Believe it or not, you can win this.

But, you're going about it all wrong.

What were your issues in you family of origin?

Tell us all about it - spare no detail.


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## Absurdist (Oct 10, 2014)

Husband2349 - I suggest you google borderline personality disorder. From the few facts you have given she has all the traits. Fear of abandonment. Fear of getting close. Black and white thinking. Splitting you as a great guy one day and the devil the next. Your wife is seriously disordered. 

There is a great poster on TAM @Uptown. I think he could give you a lot of good advice.

Please understand that you can't change or fix such a person. It is always in your best interest to simply cut the cord, go completely no contact with her and file for divorce.


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## ReturntoZero (Aug 31, 2015)

Absurdist said:


> Husband2349 - I suggest you google borderline personality disorder. From the few facts you have given she has all the traits. Fear of abandonment. Fear of getting close. Black and white thinking. Splitting you as a great guy one day and the devil the next. Your wife is seriously disordered.
> 
> There is a great poster on TAM @Uptown. I think he could give you a lot of good advice.
> 
> Please understand that you can't change or fix such a person. It is always in your best interest to simply cut the cord, go completely no contact with her and file for divorce.


I'm here to testify that you "can" win this.

But, it won't be the "victory" you hope for.

It will be a cease fire where you simply understand who and what she is.


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## Husband2349 (Oct 9, 2017)

Yes. I told her she is bpd. She agreed. 

Just so bizarre. Someone who is so completely in love willing to do anything and everything....

Then just disappears over the smallest thing in a heart beat. 

Since she has money, she can do anything she wants. And she does. 

Still texting how she is so in love...... but on the phone telling me it's over


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

The only one keeping you in limbo is you.

Why stay in this unless you like the drama.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Husband2349 said:


> Talked to her today. Instead of texting.
> 
> Like a different person. Just said "yeah I don't like the state we live in. I think I want to live somewhere else but we can stay married and be together in the future"
> 
> Is this a joke? She told me before leaving she wants to remain where we live and work it out.


Stop expecting rational thoughts from an irrational person.


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## Hopeful Cynic (Apr 27, 2014)

You are stuck in limbo with this poor marriage partner until YOU decide to get out. You can't keep waiting around for her to make a decision and figure herself out because it's not going to happen. Let her be a walk-on part and resume being the main character in your own life.

She left you in limbo, but you don't have to stay there. I'm not sure what you saw in her (a woman who doesn't look after her own kids and needs to fly to visit them is a big red flag of a bad marriage partner) but you need to realize that she isn't who you thought she is, and she isn't going to have some magic epiphany and transform herself into that.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Please come to Boston in the Springtime.


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## Uptown (Mar 27, 2010)

@*Absurdist*, thanks so much for the call-out. I agree with you that Husband is describing several warning signs for BPD (Borderline PD). 



Husband2349 said:


> Yes. I told her she is bpd. She agreed.... Just so bizarre.... just disappears over the smallest thing in a heart beat.


Husband, if your W is a BPDer (i.e., is on the upper third of the BPD spectrum), she is emotionally unstable and can flip in seconds between adoring you and devaluing you. Like a young child, a BPDer is too emotionally immature to be able to regulate her own emotions. Hence, if you believe your W is a BPDer, why do you find it _"so bizarre"_ that she is behaving like one? As @*Farsidejunky* observes, it is unreasonable to _"expect rational thoughts from an irrational person."_


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## Handy (Jul 23, 2017)

Husband2349, when your W is put of money, she will want you to support her. Until then she is a lose cannon.


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## Husband2349 (Oct 9, 2017)

It's just like something I never been through. 

Last night receiving her texts saying "oh god I miss you so much"

But when talking to her on the phone it was "I told you I'm not sure what state I will
Move to. Why are you asking me these things?"

The extremes can literally change within 5 minutes. When she moved out into her moms at night she would be telling me she is moving back in the next day. Then by morning it's like we didn't have that conversation. "I told you I am moving out. What are you talking about?"

I guess she has a good way of always turning the situation into something half believable. "I love you but just need to clear my head for a couple days. We have the most amazing connection ever". It's always leaving or ending it, but then throwing in how in love she is and can't live without me


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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

Let go of the rope... 

Actions.

Words.

When they align, you will know where on the path you find yourself.


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## Tatsuhiko (Jun 21, 2016)

Stop answering the texts and calls. Next time you talk to her it can be in person, at your house. Either get her to agree to some ground rules and consistency, or tell her it's time for a divorce.


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## Husband2349 (Oct 9, 2017)

I agree. I have been too weak. 

When I get the "I miss you so much" texts I reply, we chat, she sexts, tells me how in love she is, but then later says the opposite. 

Yesterday it felt good to text her " let's get together when you get back. Text me then"

She started crying. Said ok. The proceeded to text me how she loves me so much that night


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## tropicalbeachiwish (Jun 1, 2016)

Husband2349 said:


> It's just like something I never been through.
> 
> Last night receiving her texts saying "oh god I miss you so much"
> 
> ...



Push, pull. Push, pull. Push, pull. What a vicious cycle you're dealing with! Perhaps a personality disorder? Regardless, is this your idea of what a marriage should be? I just can't imagine that anyone thinks this is what a marriage should look like. 

Decide what a marriage should be in your eyes, then tell her. If you're too far apart on the definition of a marriage & she's not able to meet your needs in a marriage, then it's time to admit that you're not compatible with each other.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Once again, another dude that is incapable of standing for himself. Just being a weak, doormat, waiting for the woman to finally make up her mind while he is anxiously, waiting, because he has no balls to be a man to take control of the situation by issuing an ultimatum, one way or another and sticking to it. Right now this wife couldn't care less because she knows that there's no consequences to whatever she does. 
Why should she? When she can mind-play the weak guy she has as a husband.


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## Husband2349 (Oct 9, 2017)

It's difficult. And my emotions have been all over the place. I am not begging her or crying. I did say I am not waiting around if she leaves. 

A. On one hand she has been looking me in the eye and telling me she wants to be the best wife possible for me. But right now just can't. She says I hurt her, and she has unresolved issues to work through. 

So part of me believes that. The other part of me thinks possibly she is just manipulating. 

B. I can't figure out if she really is totally In love with me like she claims daily? Or once again, I am some sort of fall back plan. 

C. I feel she really does want to make me happy. But I don't feel she can. Even when together. 

D. Up until the minute she left she was gazing at me and wanting sex 24 7. I didn't think she would actually go. 

E. If she really is going to be gone a month, I will be moved on by then. Once again, I was assuming she would come back within a week.


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## Absurdist (Oct 10, 2014)

Husband2349 said:


> So after an argument she went home and *booked a flight to see her kids* and stay with a girlfriend.



OP - explain this. Why doesn't she have custody of her kids? Who does?

Did you not see this as a red flag when you first met her?


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

"I was assuming she would come back within a week."

This is stuff that no one should tolerate in a relationship. But I guess that mostly people of strong character, dignity,
and sel-worth has the balls to follow through.
As much as I dearly love my wife of so many years, if she was to tell me she would want to leave for any period of time my response would be: if you leave you're not coming back. Make up your mind right now. I would not tolerate to be taken into an emotional rollercoaster that could last God only knows. I would move on. Moreover, how would you know that she wants to be on her own for that period of time? How would you know that she is not shacking up with somebody?


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## Husband2349 (Oct 9, 2017)

Totally agree rob. 

This has been the cycle....

She was 100 percent all about me. Didn't care for Facebook. Amazing sex. Cook clean. Take care of me. Totally in love. This last about a month. 

Slowly she starts picking fights. Rude tone. Pushing and testing. Sooner or later I would say something rude. Then she uses that comment to say "it's all over". That can last a few minutes or days depending on my reaction. 

Then she becomes ultra spontaneous. One time rented a house with cash for a year. 25 k. Didn't stay one night. Then got a tattoo with my name. Then paid me to stay with her. Now this trip. 

So part of me has been like "this is insane. I told her it's over. I can't live like this". The other part has been "she is different. Can't handle
Emotions. Perhaps this will improve"

However it never improves. And never had she been gone more than a day. 

So I am at the point of acceptance that this is over. No matter what her issues I can't live in limbo like this waiting for her to make horrible decisions.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

She is mentally unstable and you are allowing her to control your life. Take control back and file for divorce, no one is worth this amount of bullcrap.


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## Husband2349 (Oct 9, 2017)

I am having a problem with conflicting ideas. 

On one hand, some here are like "put your foot down. Tell her if You leave it's over"

Howeve everything else someone reads is more along the lines of "don't push. Give her space to miss you. Live your life. 

Is it pretty common for many wives to at one point of another reach a "breaking point" where space is needed? And if so being her husband should you just be like "you need space it's over"?


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Read again between the lines of what you wrote. You are doing nothing but trying to find justifications to continue your weak beta behavior towards your predicament with your wife because you seem not to have the fortitute to act like a man that has the balls to do what needs to be done. Instead you keep asking: is this advice vs this other advice would it get me to get my wife back?

Man, take a stance on your own, you have had a lot imput by now that tells you that you need to do something other than passively waiting.


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## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

Divorce her.


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## Husband2349 (Oct 9, 2017)

She texted me yesterday. Saying I am the only one she could ever live with. (Can't stand stay with her friend). And that she can't wait that long to see me. And that she wants to be the best wife possible. I told her she needs to make a decision by this morning and come back early as that's what I want. Have not heard anything as of yet. 

Her other issue is that we live in the same home my ex wife and I did. This bothers her. Sometimes it does. Sometimes it doesn't. Hard to tell.


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## Broken_in_Brooklyn (Feb 21, 2013)

Husband2349 said:


> She texted me yesterday. Saying I am the only one she could ever live with. (Can't stand stay with her friend). And that she can't wait that long to see me. And that she wants to be the best wife possible. I told her she needs to make a decision by this morning and come back early as that's what I want. Have not heard anything as of yet.
> 
> Her other issue is that we live in the same home my ex wife and I did. This bothers her. Sometimes it does. Sometimes it doesn't. Hard to tell.


Move, simple gesture stating we together start fresh


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## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

Husband2349 said:


> She texted me yesterday. Saying I am the only one she could ever live with. (Can't stand stay with her friend). And that she can't wait that long to see me. And that she wants to be the best wife possible. *I told her she needs to make a decision by this morning and come back early as that's what I want. Have not heard anything as of yet.
> 
> *Her other issue is that we live in the same home my ex wife and I did. This bothers her. Sometimes it does. Sometimes it doesn't. Hard to tell.


That's your answer.


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## katies (May 19, 2015)

again, why doesnt' she have her kids? RED FLAG HELLO!


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## Husband2349 (Oct 9, 2017)

I do need to do something. I was so close yesterday, after a lot of thought to explain to her that I am done, and that I will send divorce papers to her moms house. 

Then before I could say that she started with the "this 3 days seems like 3 months. I don't want to wait that long to see you. I want to be the best wife etc". So that threw me off. 

She is stubborn. And it's like she magically somehow knows when I am done. Then she will do anything to be with me. But when I lay down ultimatums or ask her to be with me it just seems to cause enormous tension which she can't stand.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Husband2349 said:


> I do need to do something. I was so close yesterday, after a lot of thought to explain to her that I am done, and that I will send divorce papers to her moms house.
> 
> Then before I could say that she started with the "this 3 days seems like 3 months. I don't want to wait that long to see you. I want to be the best wife etc". So that threw me off.
> 
> She is stubborn. And it's like she magically somehow knows when I am done. Then she will do anything to be with me. But when I lay down ultimatums or ask her to be with me it just seems to cause enormous tension which she can't stand.


She is playing you like a fiddle and boy are you dancing to her tune.
And you seem to love being a victim dude.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

"But when I lay down ultimatums or ask her to be with me it just seems to cause enormous tension which she can't stand."
That is her issue to fix, not yours. You cannot go on through life not laying down what you want so that she doesn't get all bend out shape because you asked for something the she might not agreed with. You would need to make your demands/requests in a concise, decisive manners that leaves no if's and but's about it to argue. Do not longer tolerate her irracional behavior as her ways out of it. You can do this, but in a nonconfrontational, decisive manner. If she stills stomps out, there's your answer. END IT. Why keep trying to fix something that can't be fix?


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## Husband2349 (Oct 9, 2017)

Perhaps I have made this too complicated. 

I focus too much on HOW to talk to her. Should I be understanding? Tell her what to do? Tell her what I would like and not give in? Feign indifference ? 

It has sort of been like if I talk the right way, it works. If I do not , it doesn't work. So I am over thinking everything. 

Even talking to her in the morning or late night is completely different than during the day.


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## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

farsidejunky said:


> Stop expecting rational thoughts from an irrational person.


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## Phil Anders (Jun 24, 2015)

Focus on what you want out of life and your relationships. Compare your experience with her to that ideal. You know her tendency to "put out fires" at crisis points without changing her overall pattern. Can you live with that? The current breach may be your best opportunity to free yourself from the chaos.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Broken_in_Brooklyn said:


> Move, simple gesture stating we together start fresh


Move for a wishy-washy, spoiled, crazy child? I wouldn't.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Is she at your home?
Is she with you?
Nope. 

She has money to go wherever. Why do t you ask her why she's not sitting beside you if she misses you so much?

You can:
Have good sex with someone else.
Have a woman that is not BSC.

You're not going to get the following from this person:
Stability
Sanity
Emotional support
A reliable friend
Good treatment.

So why stay? Is it because she's young and sexy and you think she's unique?
Nope, they're a dine a dozen like her.


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## Husband2349 (Oct 9, 2017)

Thank you. That's why I didn't move. 

And I agree. Everyone is right. As I type my excuses I see how ridiculous they are. 

I gave her what she "dreamed of" and all she could do is continuously take off. 

Always been "all about her" and her issues.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

File for abandonment. Find a new lover.
Ignore her texts. You're giving her what she needs--/ emotional plan b.

Make no mistake, she's LOOKING for plan A.
She's just having trouble finding one.


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## Uptown (Mar 27, 2010)

katies said:


> Again, why doesn't' she have her kids? RED FLAG HELLO!


^^^^^ THIS. Please respond to @katies' question, Husband, if it is not too personal to disclose.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

Husband2349 said:


> Perhaps I have made this too complicated.
> 
> I focus too much on HOW to talk to her. Should I be understanding? Tell her what to do? Tell her what I would like and not give in? Feign indifference ?
> 
> ...


 It's not complicated . Do you want to deal with this behavior the rest of your life? Yes= cave to her Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde behavior and suck up any problem you have with it, or No= get a divorce.

And again: Why doesn't she have her kids?


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

I miss you so much, honey!!!!! Boo boo....

Are you coming home then? Errr, no.... I'm moving to a different state....

She's not Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, she's just screwing with his head for fun. She's a nut.

Op, you don't have a choice. File. Save yourself. All you can do.


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## David51 (Sep 12, 2017)

I knew a woman like her once, when the stars were all alined life with her was great she was hotter than a $2.00 pistol and the sex was great but she was volatile and I never knew when she would explode, one day I had enough .......Like the others here are saying, life is too short. I moved on to another smoking hot woman and the sex is good but I think if you can tolerate the Bullchit the crazies are the most fun.....


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


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## Husband2349 (Oct 9, 2017)

She is a total joke. 

So... as I said the night before she was basically sounding like she will cut the trip early and come home. Her initiating this. 

So I texted her what the plan was only about 12 hours later. She then proceeded to text me how bad she wants to see me, but it would be even longer now. Mid November. And attached a smiley face. 

I told her this is all ridiculous and I will file for divorce. That I am done. Then she blocked me


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Yeah, I'm thinking that fortune that she just recently came into has now relegated you to Plan B status!

I'd lose her like a bad habit!*


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## Broken_in_Brooklyn (Feb 21, 2013)

Husband2349 said:


> She is a total joke.
> 
> So... as I said the night before she was basically sounding like she will cut the trip early and come home. Her initiating this.
> 
> ...


Good


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

Husband2349 said:


> I told her this is all ridiculous and I will file for divorce. That I am done. Then she blocked me


 Easy peasy, the trash took itself out. File and don't look back.


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## Husband2349 (Oct 9, 2017)

Just wanted to give an update... perhaps can help someone else in the future in a similar situation. 

So her original plan was "to take time", see her kids, clear her head etc. stay with her gf in another state. 

So I find out that she did fly to that original state. Stayed one day. Then as she was texting me about how much she loves me for 3 days, she actually flew to a weed friendly state and was in a hotel for 2 days smoking weed. I found out as I asked her why her phone was off, and she told me she was on airplanes....she claims she never lied. 

So then she texts me about seeing her kids Friday am. And how we should take time apart. Within 5 minutes she is just like "hey got to go. On a plane to Cabo San Lucas. 

She then sent a photo of her with her girlfriend on the airplane. 

So basically everything for weeks has been lies as she had all these trips planned out already. 

Really pissed me off so much. To be constantly lied to, yet having her text me how she never lied about anything.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Husband2349 said:


> Just wanted to give an update... perhaps can help someone else in the future in a similar situation.
> 
> So her original plan was "to take time", see her kids, clear her head etc. stay with her gf in another state.
> 
> ...


How much longer are you going to participate in this festival of bs.She blocks you,She unblocks you and you keep messaging her like a lovesick teenager in love with a movie star.
Block her and don’t contact her again,can’t you see you are feeding her ego.She is having a ball (Or maybe two) and you keep talking the talk but do nothing.If she doesn’t have her number one fan following her she will soon come back down to earth.
When the money is spent she will come home to you.Even if it takes years.
Two questions again that you refuse to answer.
How much money did she inherit?
Why does she not have her kids?


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## Husband2349 (Oct 9, 2017)

About 800k. 

The kids is a long story I could write a book about. She has never been in trouble with the law, and as with most of her stories half makes sense and half doesn't.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Husband2349 said:


> About 800k.
> 
> The kids is a long story I could write a book about. She has never been in trouble with the law, and as with most of her stories half makes sense and half doesn't.


In a game needing two players if one stops playing,the game soon loses it’s attraction.
Stop playing!


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Check your' food pantry, your cupboards..

Notice:

All the Quaker Oaks are gone, every container.

She is going to romp with every man that she can stuff inside her.

Until:

Until, the oats are done.
Oh, damn those wild oats.

By then, the wife that you knew is now the wife that dozens of men 'knew'.

You are Plan B.
She is not done exploring.

Just one more guy then I'll be home in your' arms.
Wait for me, wait for me, wait for me.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

She likes weed.

Does she like sex? Well she's getting that, too.

Does she care whatsoever what you think?

This is an almost blinding case of mean spirited emotional abuse that she is doing to you. But you are allowing it.
800k? I'll give her 2-3 years of this kind of lifestyle to blow it. You can have her sorry add back after she does Dallas, until she makes you destitute as well.

It's hard, but if you haven't filed by Wednesday of next week, you're shooting yourself in the foot. It would be difficult to find a woman worse than your wife.


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## Husband2349 (Oct 9, 2017)

All I can say is really someone who turned into a monster. 

Such an odd feeling. Last week when talking to her and she is just cold and emotionless saying "well you are the love of my life. But I just like the west coast better. So I think I will move here"


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

When she says she loves you, you know she's lying.

What do you think she really loves about you?
She clearly enjoys screwing with your head.

Really, you should laugh at her crazy antics while you and your attorney are toasting the papers. 

Geez, what a Harpee.


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## Husband2349 (Oct 9, 2017)

I agree. Thanks for the help. 

I just never understood it. I thought she did "love me" as she got a tattoo on her ass saying she is my property. Only tattoo. Her idea 

Then she would drive 6 hours straight to see me constantly when she lived in another state before we were married. 

Then her constant texts everyday all day. Future plans constantly etc. 

But in the end there is a switch that flips where I don't exist. Other than saying she is bpd I have no explanation.


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## katies (May 19, 2015)

stop trying to "figure her out." figure out why YOU are ok with all this.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Husband2349 said:


> I agree. Thanks for the help.
> 
> I just never understood it. I thought she did "love me" as she got a tattoo on her ass saying she is my property. Only tattoo. Her idea
> 
> ...


She is compulsive, OCD. Totally controlled by some 'inner her'. She is now possessed by a Neptunian spirit.

One of the reason she calls is to check in on the kids. Even if she does not ask, they are on her mind. 

The mind buried under sixteen inches of Wanderlust.

Remember, she wanted to have constant sex with you. That need does not just 'go away'.

She is traveling all over the country to live the dream. Believe that. She is being controlled by her Schizophrenic sister who ramps up her feet sending her careening down the cobblestone roads, then the tarmac, then through pubs and beaches.

Then, through man after man. 
Remember before, she wanted sex all the time, all the time with you, now all the time without you.

All that fun, all those STDs.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

I had a gf that was kinda like that. First 16 months, an angel. Got her a ring I couldn't afford, she turned into a monster. All you can do is get off the roller coaster. Refuse to ride.

When it comes down to it, understanding why she is this way doesn't help the problem. Why she's a nut doesn't change the fact that she is.

I think she is totally compulsive like suncmars said. No self control, no emotional control, no logic. You can stay married on paper, but you know she's gone.

You have to remember who your mother wanted you to be. You have to remember what's in your genes and who you are.
You sound like you have done well for yourself in life. Don't let your wife ruin your happiness. Sometimes you just have to let a person like this go. It helps her feel less guilty, and it allows you to forgive and forget her. Keep the good memories you had with her. But put them aside for now and concentrate on moving forward. File for divorce. Grieve your loss. Then replace her with a newer, more reliable, safer model. One you can be proud to call your own.&#55357;&#56860;

I'm so sorry. Things don't turn out like we want very often, but if you deal with things you can't help, it almost always gets better.
I went through a divorce after 14 years and theee kids. She got caught up in cybersex and whatever else. Didn't want me anymore. I know how badly it hurts. I hate seeing other people have to stay in that pain longer than they have to. 
Take action. If she loves you she'll come back and work out a solution. If she doesn't, you're free then to find a woman who does.


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## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

When are you filing?


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## Husband2349 (Oct 9, 2017)

I blocked her on my phone. Now 3 emails from her. 


1 "You were right that I have been trying to not miss you by spending lots of money and just traveling however you are not right about me being self destructive.

I am not on any sites or talking to anyone and not not booking up in Cabo nor Susan 

Come to find out she's not really single she's seeing someone but I just found out here



You were right about most of what you said about Susan as far as her being shallow, I'm so ****ing depressed because now on this trip I have been seeing her in a new light .

I don't like what I see... at all.. I have had several moments where i wanted to tell her how I really felt but I didn't.

ALL she does is talk about how rich her friends are anc blah blah etc ... she is so shallow that I'm going to go back to Texas and get a hair bnb house so I can spend time with my kids for a week.

anyways .... I don't know why I even told you all
That but you were right "

2. I don't even want to be that involved in her life anymore.. 

I know I didn't tell you about my trips and I know that I really hurt you by that and I sincerely apologize.

Part of me did want to tell you, truly .

But I thought you would be way more upset and I didn't want to like rub in your face 

If it makes you feel any better.. IM NOT HAVING a great time.. I'm just having an ok time and almost came back early because Diane.

3. If you remember I tried to invite you to go on a trip with me.... I did but anyways you were my first pick


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Husband2349 said:


> I blocked her on my phone. Now 3 emails from her.
> 
> 
> 1 "You were right that I have been trying to not miss you by spending lots of money and just traveling however you are not right about me being self destructive.
> ...


Do not reply.
Do not reply.
DO NOT REPLY.
Got it?


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## Rick Blaine (Mar 27, 2017)

So sorry you are going through all this. Now you know that "Eat, pray, and love" really means "Going batshi+ crazy."

She is reckless and self-destructive. Detatch now or go down the rabbit hole with her...


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## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

She's not having a good time but won't come home.

Must make sense to her.


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## Husband2349 (Oct 9, 2017)

Yes no response on my part. I wouldn't even know how to respond.


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## Broken_in_Brooklyn (Feb 21, 2013)

Husband2349 said:


> Yes no response on my part. I wouldn't even know how to respond.


I would reply with where do you want the divorce papers served? My attorney would like an address. Also, I moved all your property into storage. Keys are with your mother. First months fee I paid. You are responsible for rest.


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## ReturntoZero (Aug 31, 2015)

FOR GOD'S SAKE STOP COMMUNICATING WITH HER.

For real.

Just stop.

Hard stop.

No texts.

No IM's

No Messenger

No Twitter

No Nothing

Do this for a week and she will be by your side.

Then you can decide what to do with her.

I guarantee it. I'm a veteran of this.


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## Husband2349 (Oct 9, 2017)

Didn't talk to her. Then she started emailing again

she screen shotted a ticket she bought to fly to see me tomorrow. 

Then emailed "I love you. I need to see you. Ticket was expensive but worth it. I don't want to argue with you. Just enjoy you. I want to know if we are on the same page and you know I want to get my place in another state. I want you to come stay with me in your slow months. We are amazing together but just suck at being married"

Of course this is 2 days after she emailed me that she wants to live with me.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Husband2349 said:


> Didn't talk to her. Then she started emailing again
> 
> she screen shotted a ticket she bought to fly to see me tomorrow.
> 
> ...


Ignore her and don’t even think about collecting her from the airport.Chances are the first time you show her any kindness she will run again.
She has nobody to play her games with and she is just trying to reel you in again.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Have you ever considered locating your spine, tracking down your balls, and telling this flake that you are DONE, filing divorce, and to please stop contacting you? Jesus, this shyte is painful to read.


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

Husband2349 said:


> ....
> 
> She received a large inheritance from father. So she does not work. .....


You are in so deep that you are trying to make this line sound normal. I am assuming that this is to have the house ***** and span and have your dinner ready when you get home?


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## katies (May 19, 2015)

you need to block her every point of contact with you.


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## thummper (Dec 19, 2013)

Husband, I think your wife(?) has more than one screw loose. This lady needs some serious mental health work.


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## Husband2349 (Oct 9, 2017)

I am wondering why she gets a ticket to fly to see me THEN prefaces it with "I will be moving to another state and start to look at houses in two weeks"

She already is in that other state. So why come see me for two weeks? Makes sense for her to stay where she is, I would think.


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## katies (May 19, 2015)

Husband2349 said:


> I am wondering why she gets a ticket to fly to see me THEN prefaces it with "I will be moving to another state and start to look at houses in two weeks"
> 
> She already is in that other state. So why come see me for two weeks? Makes sense for her to stay where she is, I would think.


again, stop trying to figure her out. you're dragging this out much longer than it should be. block her and go NC. 
you continue to think of her actions but not your own.


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## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

Husband2349 said:


> Didn't talk to her. Then she started emailing again
> 
> she screen shotted a ticket she bought to fly to see me tomorrow.
> 
> ...


You're not in the same library.


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## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

Husband2349 said:


> I am wondering why she gets a ticket to fly to see me THEN prefaces it with "I will be moving to another state and start to look at houses in two weeks"
> 
> She already is in that other state. So why come see me for two weeks? Makes sense for her to stay where she is, I would think.


Do you have a lawyer yet?


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Husband2349 said:


> I am wondering why she gets a ticket to fly to see me THEN prefaces it with "I will be moving to another state and start to look at houses in two weeks"
> 
> She already is in that other state. So why come see me for two weeks? Makes sense for her to stay where she is, I would think.


Who can make sense of nonsense? Stop trying to figure out the crazy person and get a lawyer.


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## ReturntoZero (Aug 31, 2015)

FOR GOD'S SAKE STOP COMMUNICATING WITH HER.

For real.

Just stop.

Hard stop.

No texts.

No IM's

No Messenger

No Twitter

No Nothing

Do this for a week and she will be by your side.

Then you can decide what to do with her.

I guarantee it. I'm a veteran of this.

(In case you missed it last time)


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