# Saw "X" OW over Weekend



## jinba (Apr 26, 2012)

Went to dinner with friends the other night and the old X-OW was there. No eye contact - we sat in a separate area - and she bolted within 15-20 minutes of our arrival :smthumbup:

Prior to me outing her to her H, she'd have stayed and played - with nasty smirks and showy behavior. Think I might have finally knocked the wind out of her sails!


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

Good on you.


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## LoveMouse (Apr 22, 2012)

Good 4 U!!! I love that feeling!!!
Mouse


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

jinba said:


> Went to dinner with friends the other night and the old X-OW was there. No eye contact - we sat in a separate area - and she bolted within 15-20 minutes of our arrival :smthumbup:
> 
> Prior to me outing her to her H, she'd have stayed and played - with nasty smirks and showy behavior. Think I might have finally knocked the wind out of her sails!


Glad to hear that.

My cheater husband's OW, actually looks for his car.

During one successful recovery period that later turned out to be a false recovery, She saw his car, popped into a restaurant we were in twice and the second time smiled at him in front of me. 

He ignored her and her grin froze on her face. 

The same person who outed my husband must be outing her because she complained to my husband at one point that her husband received anonymous letters outing the affair. 

The OW's husband is an idiot who believes her denials of the affair. She is a serial cheater.


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

Oh, _yeah_.

And you see how not contacting her after she texted your husband was the right move--and contacting her H was even more RIGHT. Two for two for the BS team. :smthumbup:


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## Just Tired Of It All (Oct 22, 2011)

I outed OW to anyone I could, the sad part about it is.. They all just as sick as she is... They thout it was OK... she isnt married so the next best thing to her H was her babies daddy, which at one point she was engaged to, on again off again thing, come to find out it was at an ON moment when I outed her to him, so I guess it did a little good, he left her so she went after my H again but she didnt have her cake and eat it to anymore...... RIGHT!!


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## jinba (Apr 26, 2012)

Sara8 said:


> Glad to hear that.
> 
> My cheater husband's OW, actually looks for his car.
> 
> ...


In the heat of things (which was quite a few years ago) she used to do the same. We were at a benefit poker night once and my H was dealing black jack - she made sure she sat as his table and then ran her foot up and down his leg. Wanted to deck her - but held back - thankfully her H saw her too and hauled her out of the room and chewed her out.

Some (if not all) of these OW think they're something special and their public flirtation is maddening. She used to smirk at me every time I saw her - like she had something over on me. Drove me crazy. But now ... I've learned to smirk - just to make her uncomfortable. So things are shaping up a bit differently now that she knows how much I know and have shared it with her H.

As far as her H is concerned, I don't think he believes anything she says - he just doesn't give a damn anymore. He stays because they have 3 kids and it's the "right" thing to do in the eyes of his church.


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## jinba (Apr 26, 2012)

Just Tired Of It All said:


> I outed OW to anyone I could, the sad part about it is.. They all just as sick as she is... They thout it was OK... she isnt married so the next best thing to her H was her babies daddy, which at one point she was engaged to, on again off again thing, come to find out it was at an ON moment when I outed her to him, so I guess it did a little good, he left her so she went after my H again but she didnt have her cake and eat it to anymore...... RIGHT!!


Wow - I'm sorry you didn't have the support of others - how can anyone think that it was "okay"? My guess is that she portrayed you as the "crazy wife" and they bought it.

Cheaters can be very persuasive - and they're excellent liars!


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## sallywebb (May 9, 2012)

Hahaha that's so funny - I can't help but laugh when I read some OW is looking for the car and try to 'bump' into him that way. How stupid is that!!


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

sallywebb said:


> Hahaha that's so funny - I can't help but laugh when I read some OW is looking for the car and try to 'bump' into him that way. How stupid is that!!


Seriously, this is how the married other woman met my cheater spouse. 

She saw him and he was "her type", according to the emails.
.
She stalked him for awhile, spotting his car and showing up wherever he was, to talk and flirt, almost daily

Finally, she contacted him first at his office to invite him on a date. And, all her emails to him were sexually aggressive. 

He went willingly though.


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## jinba (Apr 26, 2012)

R definitely takes a bit of a leap of faith doesn't it? I've had the same conversations with my H - drilling him on the "what ifs" - feel like I'm talking to a five year old about not accepting candy from a stranger.

Anyway - he says he gets it, but I don't believe he does. He got a text from OW on May 3rd (after I outed her to her H) and my H didn't tell me until I asked him if he'd heard from her on the 9th. Worse than that, he texted her back.

Admittedly, I sort of set them both up - and I think he's a bit ticked about that - but I needed to know if he'd follow through with NC ... and he didn't. Used it to "show him" what I meant, because telling him isn't enough to make him comprehend.

I swear, if it happens again I'm going to knock him upside the head with a 2 x 4 on my way out the door! Maybe that will get his attention!


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

I agree. My husband spoke to her twice when she called him over with a sexy grin, even though he claimed he would walk away. 

He said he told her again it was over. Bull. IMO walking away says that more loudly.

She also called him about five months after Dday, and he lied to me about it. Insists he never called her back, but I doubt that he is telling the truth. 

If he were, he would have told me of the call before I received another anonymous email telling me the date and time she called him.


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## jinba (Apr 26, 2012)

I sometimes think they just can't let go of "feeling wanted" by the OW - male ego in full alpha mode. If they keep that thread of a connection, they keep the "high" of feeling desirable.

What they don't seem to understand is that what they consider innocent behavior is further destroying our trust in them. And it's impossible to truly love someone you can't trust.

Your anonymous "tattle tail" is awesome - wish I had one of those! I'm usually the last to know about anything that goes on - although I now have her phone # and check his phone regularly for calls and texts.


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

jinba said:


> I sometimes think they just can't let go of "feeling wanted" by the OW - male ego in full alpha mode. If they keep that thread of a connection, they keep the "high" of feeling desirable.


The women truly are no different.

yes, I wonder sometimes just who that person is, Sara8. Do you have any ideas?


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## jinba (Apr 26, 2012)

You're right - in my case, the OW had no intention of leaving her H and giving up her fancy house, cars, clothes, etc. She just fed on the attention she got from other men (my H and others).

She's an attractive woman (on the outside) and once got totally ticked off when an orthodontist in town didn't remember her - and she'd only met him once!

So yes ... the women can have pretty big egos as well.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I met my bf through a meetup activity. Which is how he met his EA (the one before me and so on). One day he and I were signing up for a meetup activity and I could see him scanning the long list of RSVPs. I know what or should I say who, he was looking for.

I did notice back when the meetup boards would give so much information on one person right on their profile that I and she had signed up for the same activity. I realised this ex post facto, but I did point out to my bf that he given her so much information about me and it was possible that she and I could attend the same event.....what would stop her from cornering me and telling me all the things that she knows about me. Thankfully, it didn't happen. but we'll never know how close she came to it.


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

iheartlife said:


> The women truly are no different.
> 
> yes, I wonder sometimes just who that person is, Sara8. Do you have any ideas?


Are you asking who is sending me the anonymous emails?

I don't know. One marriage counselor thought it was the OW as it is not unusual for them to try to start trouble and keep the strife in the marriage to thwart recovery. 

They may not even want to continue seeing the cheater, they just want to break up the marriage as a conquest. 

The OW, told quite a few people about the affair even though she initially denied it to my husband. 

I personally think it's a frenemy she has. The anonymous letters say that the sender has been through this and feels I have the right to know.


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

Krichali said:


> Hey guys I have a theory: it's one of the OW's ex AP's. She's likely done this to other guys before your H, and one of them is trying to get back at her.


That is intriguing and definitely makes sense. 

She stalked her last affair partner, he had to deny her access to his gated community. 

He also ended up divorced, even though he did not want one, and had to move to another state because the OW was stalking him and his new girlfriend.

This OW is a psychopath, IMO.


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