# Am I being unreasonable?



## mom2abntb (Aug 11, 2010)

When my husband and I met almost four years ago, he was working at a good-paying job. In November of last year, he was laid off but received a severance package. He was on unemployment until early June of this year when he found a job through a temp company (temp-hire). When he was unemployed, he played games online and that was more important than job hunting. He did just enough to get by in case the ESC contacted him for a review.

A couple weeks ago, he left that job for a good job here in town. The company let him go after one day because he couldn't get a CDL because he has type 1 diabetes. Apparently, they didn't ask that before. Anyway, he is unemployed AGAIN. We filed Chapter 13 bankruptcy in July so we wouldn't lose our cars or our house. The payment is coming out of my check because I know my employer is very understanding. That leaves me $360 a month to pay other expenses. (!!!) I received child support from my children's father which helps out, but we barely get by without help from my mom. 

Here's the problem. Some months ago, my husband who is a big NASCAR fan, found this racing simulator online called iracing. There's a membership fee you pay and you can race with other members, etc. Do you know where this is going? I am not there during the day, so I can't say FOR CERTAIN that he's on it all day long, but...he gets on it before I leave for work in the morning and he's on there all evening after he cooks supper (see...he is a house husband who cooks, does the dishes, and little else). I'm very appreciative of his contributions, but am I unreasonable to ask that he step up? Do I need to support him while he's on the computer all day? I mean, where do I draw the line? It is seriously affecting our marriage. And I feel like I've talked until I'm blue in the face. HELP!


----------



## derbygirl (Oct 3, 2012)

It sounds like you and him have very different goals in life. You want the typical American dream and he wants to live in the here and now. It's like that in my marriage too so I understand. Have you talked with him about how you feel? In my opinion, it is completely reasonable to want more in life and to have high standards. It sounds like he's similar to my husband who thinks that so long as there's food in the fridge, life is ok- even if you had to borrow money to but that food! 

You are not being unreasonable AT ALL! Fight for what you want in life and if he doesn't want to contribute the way you think he should, then do it without him!


----------



## love2laugh (Sep 16, 2012)

I know how you feel. My husband is unemployed now going on 2 years and he plays video games way more than I think is right. I get that everyone needs a release but it drives me up a wall.

Your husband was dealt a serious blow with that one day job so maybe you should cut him some slack... for now. At least he was working a temp job and looking for a full time gig. I don't know, I'm married to the same kind of guy I guess and I don't know what to do myself!

Side note, is there any way you could switch from a chapter 13 to chapter 7? If 360 is all you have left I don't think that is reasonable for you to live on. I'm pretty certain you can keep your house and cars in 7 as long as you are current. We considered bk last year.


----------

