# Is it normal?



## 6foot5 (Jun 15, 2011)

Well , got the letter from my lawyer , my ex wants child support which is ok , she wants me to pay some medical bills which is 50% ok with me , wants 50% equity in the property which is ok with me , but real question is that she has not mentioned anything about custody of our son :scratchhead: how should I approach her demands ? My priority is my son and I dont want to settle for anything until I have 50/50 custody of my son .
My question is... how do I respond to her demands ? I want custody matter resolved before anything else , my son is #1 on my priority list . Should I just say "no" to what she is asking until custody matter is resolved or should I agree to her demands and then deal with custody matters ?
Please help.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Get your own lawyer and stipulate what you agree to as well as the fact you are asking for 50/50 custody of your son.

You could even call her to tell her you don't see it mentioned ni the paperwork and that is what you want. See if she will agree to it and then you can respond to everything else and have that written in inside your response to her.

Get the custody issued resolved NOW before you do anything else so she won't be able to to use it as leverage later -- Example: "Well he agreed to X and Y and he didn't even ask for custody so I should be awarded 100%."


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## Ticonderoga (Jul 21, 2011)

If you can work out an agreement with her before going to a lawyer it will save you some $$$$.


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## sprinter (Jul 25, 2011)

Spend the money! You need a lawyer. If she has one she has a distinct advantage.


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

Tell her all looks good, but you can't agree to anything without a full document including custody.


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## 6foot5 (Jun 15, 2011)

I am going to see my lawyer this week .
Today I had my son , while he was with me he started crying for no reason again , he is very bright and I how hard this sitiuation is for him , so I text my ex :
"we need to talk about our son as he is not taking this whole separation very well , maybe we need some sort of conselling for him ? " 
Then she started bragging how good of a mother she is , how happy our son is and then again about her feelings blablabla 
She can not get it through her thick skull that it is not about her or me , all I said is that I see in our son eyes that he is very upset . We text back and forward and she still doesnt get what I am trying to say to her , Iam totally pissed off , I am beggining to think that she may try to pull some b.s. when it comes to custody .


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## LostJB (Aug 3, 2011)

How old is your son? I'm going through a divorce witha 3 yer old and I can tell you its very difficult to figure out what to say or how to talk to him about all of this. In my situation my H is having an A and is taking very selfish actions. Including disregarding my requests for keeping his time with our son and the OW separate. 

My counselor says constantly that kids are great at observing situations, but crappy at interpretting. Thats where us as parents need to come in. To ask the questions that get into their heads where they are already coming up with reasons for their situation. We need to find out what they are thinking and correct it in a way that they don't take any of this on as fault. 

dealingw ith a 3 year old is incredibly difficult in this task. If your son is older hoepfully he will respond to questions and you can explain that none of whats going on between mommy and daddy is about them. That you both love him, and that will not change.


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