# Feeling lost after his affair...



## LostWifey (Nov 3, 2016)

I've been reading threads on here for a while now, this is my first post. Forgive me if it is in the wrong section. I'm not sure what I'm looking for here, I just need to get my thoughts out and this seems like an appropriate audience full of experience (unfortunately).

My husband cheated on me. Twice. I will explain the best I can. We've been together 10 years, married for 9. Have 2 sons, 5 & 9. We are both 36, almost 37.

The first time was over a year ago. I never new about this until recently, when it came out in his confession after I discovered the second. This first time was a drunken one night stand, so he says. I want to believe him, but for obvious reasons I have doubts. Last summer he went to his home town to do some training for a job. This is 1500 miles away from where we live. He stayed at his fathers house while he was there and we would face time every night and talk/text frequently. I was home with our 2 sons taking care of everything while he was up there, hanging with his family and old friends. I gave him naked pictures to use on his own time... you get my drift. We also face timed "virtual sex" I guess you could say. I did my best to satisfy him even though we were 1500 miles away. He said he was lonely one night and drank too much at the bar when he was out with some friends. He said he hooked up with "some fat chick" and instantly regretted it once he realized what he did (slept with her). This is curious to me because he is one of those guys that is turned off by "fat".

The second time is recent, end of July is when I found the phone records and caught one of her texts on his phone, which is what started the whole investigation. I eventually found a picture of the two of them together that he texted a friend, to brag. That was my smoking gun. He said it didn't go very far, a few lunch dates and a ton of phone calls. And I know he met her after work a few times because the picture was taken by her daughter, after work with a beer in his hand at her house. I don't think they slept together those times because she doesn't live alone, her 14 year old daughter, mother and mother's boyfriend share her house. He was never home really late, so I think he stopped by to hang out for a little bit before coming home. This "woman" is 10 years older then us (we are the same age, only 3 days apart actually). She is the complete opposite of me. (And in general is a horrible person, not only for going after a married man but her daughter is a degenerate as well). Anyway, he said he would end it with her, showed me the texts between them where he said he wanted to work on his marriage and that he wanted to disconnect from her completely. Come to find out, a week later he met up with her again after work, when he was supposed to be with friends. I busted him and he was furious. So that was a fake R for sure. I kicked him to the couch and after a few weeks of hell, I kicked him out completely. So of course he moved in with her. I was mentally working on getting past all of this and moving on, started talking to a few guys, had a date set up (mainly just to put myself back out there after 10 years, wasn't expecting much). Well, the day before this date he has a change of heart. Complete break down. Sick, crying uncontrollably, the works. Apparently the though of me with another man was too much for him to take. A bit hypocritical. Anyway, I said no a few times, told him he wanted her and now he has her. The following day he comes over to see the kids and we talk and cry for a few hours. Long story short, I decided that he really was remorseful and could tell he was sincere in his apology and was ready to work on R for real now. Due to scheduling, our first MC appointment isn't until Nov 12. Things have been going well, a few fights here and there. Hysterical bonding that lasted about 6 weeks or so. We still have sex every other night or so. She is out of the picture for good, he says he has no feelings for her anymore and never wants to feel how sh!tty he felt when he broke down ever again. He does't want to cause me that pain again. He learned his lesson, he says.

So now here I am, a few months later and am still feeling sad, angry, hurt, etc. But when I bring it up to him he just tells me I need to get over it. He doesn't realize how hard that is. That every day I have mind movies of them living together. They went to a hotel over Labor Day at the beach. That plays in my mind the most. Everyone knows hotel sex is the hottest. All I see is her sucking his d!ck, him down between her legs, them fvcking on the bed. It's horrible. He on the other hand seems to have gone back to life as usual, before any of this happened. I guess it's good that it doesn't affect him as much, and that he doesn't think about her anymore. But I don't feel like he really cares about how I feel, and that after two months I should be fine like him. And the fact that I can't express how I feel to him because he doesn't want to talk about it makes it even harder. He should still be bending over backwards for me, right? Doing romantic things, wanting to talk about what's on my mind, etc... but he doesn't. And it's making me rethink our whole marriage. There was a point in my life when I thought he was my soulmate. But that can't be true because your soulmate would never hurt you like that, let alone do it twice. I ofter wonder what life would be like if I didn't take him back, if I went through with the divorce and moved on. I still love him, and yes, we are codependent on each other as far as finances and taking care of household chores and what not, and with the kids, etc. I just don't feel like he gives a damn about how I really feel.

I'm sure the MC session will touch on a lot of this, but I wanted to see what others think, that have been there, done that. Am I asking too much of him? What should life look like 2 months post affair?


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

He cheated on you twice. Staying with him is settling, if you are going to settle then you have to commit to it. Personally I think you can do better. 

Your kids will also be fine. I know because my Father cheated on my Mother. Still close with both, probably closer to my Father because of it, since he was forced too make my is primary focus when we saw each other weekly. 

What is the real benefit for you staying.

A Soulmate is not some magical person that is put in your path for you to be happy ever after. It is a person who is of good character that works with you to build a good relationship. It could be any number of people, they must have character first though. Your husband is not one of them.


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## GreyEcho (Sep 28, 2016)

Time to move on and do what right for you.. He has, twice


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## KillerClown (Jul 20, 2016)

He had two affairs, one them he actually went to live with and you took him back. 

He should be wearing a dog collar and licking the floor where you walk. He should be b!tch slapped every time he talk without being spoken to.


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## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

First, I don't think he is legit, I am sure there are more than these two and he will likely do it again. You will never "get over it". 

Second, you will have to live with his betrayal. It never goes away. Til the day you die you will know what he did and that you "settled" for it. Maybe you are ok with that. It's a long time and you are still young. He has shown you his colors and is it worth settling for this with the possibility he is going to do it again? 

I am soon to be divorced and my wife had an online affair. Maybe she did other stuff, I don't know. There are other issues, but the point I am making is that I knew I could work things out with her...for now. The problem was I wasn't willing to go through the breakup again. You already did this. You let him back in with the likelihood of him destroying you again. And he is telling you to "get over it".


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## LostWifey (Nov 3, 2016)

sokillme said:


> What is the real benefit for you staying.


He is my best friend, teammate, partner, lover. Our sex life is great, never was really bad, just got comfortable after 10 years. Plus financially we need each other. I know what he did was incredibly disrespectful to me and our marriage, but I'm willing to work on it I guess because I still love him. I just think I need more from him. And don't want to be the nag, or have to tell him what he needs to do or what I want from him. I've already said what I need to him before, and he was attentive for about 6 weeks or so, but he's just back to life as normal and for me, I'm no where near that.

I shouldn't have to remind him what I need. He should make those decisions on his own, because he wants to. And I'm not getting that feeling from him.


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## LostWifey (Nov 3, 2016)

Herschel said:


> First, I don't think he is legit, I am sure there are more than these two and he will likely do it again. You will never "get over it".
> 
> Second, you will have to live with his betrayal. It never goes away. Til the day you die you will know what he did and that you "settled" for it. Maybe you are ok with that. It's a long time and you are still young. He has shown you his colors and is it worth settling for this with the possibility he is going to do it again?
> 
> I am soon to be divorced and my wife had an online affair. Maybe she did other stuff, I don't know. There are other issues, but the point I am making is that I knew I could work things out with her...for now. The problem was I wasn't willing to go through the breakup again. You already did this. You let him back in with the likelihood of him destroying you again. And he is telling you to "get over it".


I am trying to believe that he won't do it again. The hurt and pain he caused both me and himself was too much for either of us to go through again. He said that if he is unhappy again, we would separate and divorce before he moves on to a new woman. I want to believe that.


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

LostWifey said:


> when I bring it up to him he just tells me I need to get over it.?


Those words he said to you aren't uttered by a remorseful spouse. It's rug sweeping. It's him attempting to avoid the consequences of his actions. I've been in R for 5 years with my WW and if she told me that today or anytime in the future, I would divorce her on the spot.

Tears and apologies are only skin deep. Genuine remorse means discussing his A anytime you want, for as long as you feel the need. It means consistently owning what he did; and yes, bending over backwards to help you heal.

You don't have to accept that and you shouldn't. Especially from a serial cheater just two months from D-day.


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## GreyEcho (Sep 28, 2016)

You sound 100% commited ; but he doesn't sound like he is.. Why did he have affairs.. there was something he was looking for?


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## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

LostWifey said:


> I am trying to believe that he won't do it again. The hurt and pain he caused both me and himself was too much for either of us to go through again. He said that if he is unhappy again, we would separate and divorce before he moves on to a new woman. I want to believe that.


He wants you to believe that.


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## LostWifey (Nov 3, 2016)

GreyEcho said:


> You sound 100% commited ; but he doesn't sound like he is.. Why did he have affairs.. there was something he was looking for?


The first time he said he was lonely.. just sex.. still very bad. The second time he said he'd been unhappy with our current life/marriage and this woman came along and gave him all the attention in the world. Dug her cougar claws in. He liked the attention. She convinced him he'd be happier if he left me for her. He was in the fog and thought that's what he wanted/needed to be happy. He found out later that he didn't want that life and wanted me and his family life back.

He says he didn't sleep with her until I threw him out. I still don't know if that is true or not, since there were a few nights that he stayed at "a friends house" overnight. This was after I kicked him to the couch and told him it was over, so I guess that gave him the "permission" he needed to finally fvck her.


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## LostWifey (Nov 3, 2016)

Also, his reasoning for not bending over backwards is that he's not the type of person to kiss a$$.


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## KillerClown (Jul 20, 2016)

LostWifey said:


> Also, his reasoning for not bending over backwards is that he's not the type of person to kiss a$$.


Then I guess you'll have to decide if you're willing to bend over backwards and continue to kiss his a$$.


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

LostWifey said:


> *He says he didn't sleep with her until I threw him out.* I still don't know if that is true or not, since there were a few nights that he stayed at "a friends house" overnight. This was after I kicked him to the couch and told him it was over, so I guess that gave him the "permission" he needed to finally fvck her.


I would say the chances of that being true, given his opportunity to hook up with her; are slim and none. Cheaters lie. That just what they do.

Remorseful husbands don't.


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## KillerClown (Jul 20, 2016)

LostWifey said:


> The first time he said he was lonely.. just sex.. still very bad. The second time he said he'd been unhappy with our current life/marriage and this woman came along and gave him all the attention in the world. Dug her cougar claws in. He liked the attention. She convinced him he'd be happier if he left me for her. He was in the fog and thought that's what he wanted/needed to be happy. He found out later that he didn't want that life and wanted me and his family life back.
> 
> He says he didn't sleep with her until I threw him out. I still don't know if that is true or not, since there were a few nights that he stayed at "a friends house" overnight. This was after I kicked him to the couch and told him it was over, so I guess that gave him the "permission" he needed to finally fvck her.


Trust me, he doesn't need permission to fvck people. He's doing you right now.


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

LostWifey said:


> Also, his reasoning for not bending over backwards is that he's not the type of person to kiss a$$.


I'm not pro divorce, obviously. I believe R can successful under the right circumstances. 

But you need to kick his @ss to the curb.


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## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

badmemory said:


> I'm not pro divorce, obviously. I believe R can successful under the right circumstances.
> 
> But you need to kick his @ss to the curb.


I don't think anyone is "pro-divorce", just like nobody is "pro-abortion". I think the distinction you are making is being more apt to deal with settling with someone who has done you wrong. 

However, given that, we are in agreement that the egregious nature of this betrayal and the constant lying about it and rug sweeping should result in a GTFO.


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## Grapes (Oct 21, 2016)

I haven't been here long and I'm 3 yrs out from her affair. Still together and she acts exactly the way u describe. It is painful and my regret was not leaving back then. Actions are louder then words and his actions of putting it on u to get over speaks volumes of where he's at vs where u are at. Different planets. Do something and take action. Don't be miserable! U deserve better


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## GreyEcho (Sep 28, 2016)

LostWifey said:


> This was after I kicked him to the couch and told him it was over, so I guess that gave him the "permission" he needed to finally fvck her.



Kicking him to the couch.. isn't permission, if he thought it was, then he is thinking and acting like a child. If I was in your situation, I would be really thinking hard.. because if those are his excuses.. He will continue to cheat and blame you for it.. 

If he is really remorseful he should be treating you like a queen..Begging for forgiveness.. 

If he isn't.. well, then he is just waiting for his next opportunity to stray and then come back


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

OP,
His cavalier attitude really tells you all that you need to know. Words are easy but a persons attitude and actions are far more truthful. He is not sympathetic to your pain nor your angst. He is however, very aware of his own. If he cannot see how his actions have devastated you and feel that deep remorse then how can he possibly understand the severity of his actions? He cannot.

Perhaps something with the OW did not work out or perhaps he suddenly realized her age but whatever the reason his motives were and are self serving. At this point he should be moving heaven and earth to ease your pain. He should be talking whenever and about whatever you need to discuss. He should be showing extreme gratitude for the chance you have given him but instead he says "you need to get over it"?

The only chance for true R is when the WS truly "feels it". A truly remorseful spouse feels the pain as deeply as the BS and understands just how fortunate they are to have another chance. I regret saying so but I feel he is using you as he sees fit and is confident that you will accept it. I advise you to carefully think about your future with him as I feel strongly that you will face this again.


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

No one is required to stick with a plan for R. It's ok to later say "I misjudged my ability to move past your affair. I can't get past the mind moves and you won't work to rebuild the trust and listen to me as I work through your betrayal. So I am restarting the D. If somehow things change during MC I might change my mind again but we'll have to see."

That's not promarriage or prodivorce. It's proyou.

That's my advice


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

LostWifey said:


> He is my best friend....


Best friends don't fvck rando skanks in hotel rooms.

Getting him off the delusional pedestal you put him on, is STEP 1.

He's a POS serial cheater who has no respect for you. 

Accept THAT, THEN decide if you want to work it out with him.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

LostWifey said:


> He is my best friend, teammate, partner


Cheating on you twice kind of invalidates this. Are you sure that is not your emotions talking? Would you treat your best friend, and teammate like this?


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Herschel said:


> I don't think anyone is "pro-divorce"


"raises hand", I am pro-divorce when there is long term or serial cheating.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Grapes said:


> I haven't been here long and I'm 3 yrs out from her affair. Still together and she acts exactly the way u describe. It is painful and my regret was not leaving back then. Actions are louder then words and his actions of putting it on u to get over speaks volumes of where he's at vs where u are at. Different planets. Do something and take action. Don't be miserable! U deserve better


What's stopping you. You should ghost.


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## Tatsuhiko (Jun 21, 2016)

LostWifey said:


> But when I bring it up to him he just tells me I need to get over it.


That's so magnanimous of him to offer you some strategies for dealing with your pain. What, exactly, is he doing to help you through your pain? Does he even bother to say "sorry" every so often, or is it all water under the bridge now?

He sounds like a complete ass. I think you should start the process of mentally detaching from him. Spend less time with him. Go out some evenings shopping or exercising to improve yourself. Oh wait, let me guess--he expects you to take primary responsibility of the kids, right? Then get a sitter.


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## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

Are you really feeling lost? Or are have you just accepted that this relationship is garbage and you just don't want to get out of the life you have? Look to get a good lawyer look up divorced lawyers in your area and find won with a high successful case percentage. Once you do that they will explain how ending it works. It may seem daunting and hellish to you but to them it is Tuesday. Once you pay them get a councilor, lawyers make really expensive councilors just saying.


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## VeryHurt (Mar 11, 2011)

You should get over it?
That's all I needed to read.
He has no respect for you or your feelings.


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## bcc (Oct 8, 2012)

Forget it , your thinking too much. Leave, I been through this over and over read my posts Leave Leave leave . cheaters are always cheaters. it took me 10 years to realize this. They do not change they do not. i promise you they dont. People used to yell at me on here saying leave too and I kept hoping to fall short again.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

LostWifey said:


> He is my best friend, teammate, partner, lover. Our sex life is great, never was really bad, just got comfortable after 10 years. Plus financially we need each other. I know what he did was incredibly disrespectful to me and our marriage, but I'm willing to work on it I guess because I still love him. I just think I need more from him. And don't want to be the nag, or have to tell him what he needs to do or what I want from him. I've already said what I need to him before, and he was attentive for about 6 weeks or so, but he's just back to life as normal and for me, I'm no where near that.
> 
> I shouldn't have to remind him what I need. He should make those decisions on his own, because he wants to. And I'm not getting that feeling from him.


I agree. The Mind Movies would tear me apart, also.

And no Popcorn........no, it's Popporn........................... him and her going at it. In the screen, in the back of your head.

The problem?

You swim the depths, he is a surface dweller.

You are a fine lady. Sorry you are here.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

LostWifey said:


> I've been reading threads on here for a while now, this is my first post. Forgive me if it is in the wrong section. I'm not sure what I'm looking for here, I just need to get my thoughts out and this seems like an appropriate audience full of experience (unfortunately).
> 
> My husband cheated on me. Twice. I will explain the best I can. We've been together 10 years, married for 9. Have 2 sons, 5 & 9. We are both 36, almost 37.
> 
> ...


Sorry, but he wouldn't know what remorse IS if it bit him in the ass. Because I can guarantee you, remorse is NOT telling you to 'get over it.'

He was perfectly FINE disrespecting *you* over and over and over and over and over and over when HE was the one having the fun and getting his rocks off with other women. Then, when _you_ showed signs of moving on, suddenly his frail little ego couldn't take it and he was suddenly all 'remorseful' and he's 'learned his lesson' and wanted back in. What a joke.

I guarantee you, once he knows you're 100% committed to him again and he's feeling more secure, he'll be right back to his old tricks.

This is that classic jealousy game that's been played since the dawn of time. I'm not saying that was *your* intention when you started dating, but the same rules applied. He'd lost interest and was all into someone else until he saw you were dating others and came running back out of jealousy. It's the classic jealousy game. But eventually, that wears off once they know they've got you again and they're secure once more. They just revert right back to their old behavior.

I have to say this. He showed you *EXACTLY* who he is - at least twice (that you know about but there's probably a lot more you DON'T know about). When someone shows you who they really are, believe them.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

OP, you're 36/37 years of age. You're probably not even halfway through your life... Do you really want to spend all those years ahead of you anxiously wondering whether or not you can trust your husband - watching your self-esteem decrease with every passing year?

I'm sorry you're going through this, but your husband has shown you who he is and it's up to you to prove to yourself that you're worth far, far more. Men like your husband rarely change...


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

LostWifey said:


> There was a point in my life when I thought he was my* soulmate.* But that can't be true because your* soulmate* would never hurt you like that, let alone do it twice.



There are no such things as "soulmates". That is a notion that sells books and movies and love songs.

There is such a thing as another human being whom you are very compatible with, and physically attracted to.

I only put this out there, in order to help you think clearly.

The notion of "soulmates", creates fuzzy thinking, where you think that this person and yourself are fated to be together and that he is irreplaceable.

Not true.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

notmyrealname4 said:


> There are no such things as "soulmates". That is a notion that sells books and movies and love songs.
> 
> There is such a thing as another human being whom you are very compatible with, and physically attracted to.
> 
> ...


I agree, the romantic notions that sell movies and books is BS. Ask other BS's. 

The notion of compatibility and physical enamoration? Yes, on that one, too. That is the rightful thinking and "Source" of the term, "Soul Mates" in Motor City. Anything less leads to sole, solo mates. No typo.

The fated part, yes, that I buy wholeheartedly. We choose from "that" what is "offered" up. We do not the Primal Part, cook up. We are secondary players....from birth to the pass-off to soil.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

LostWifey said:


> Also, his reasoning for not bending over backwards is that he's not the type of person to kiss a$$.


Tell him he can keep his pride, or you, but not both.

Your H deserves none of the grace you are extending toward him. At least, not yet.


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## bojangles (Oct 11, 2016)

sokillme said:


> He cheated on you twice. *Staying with him is settling*, if you are going to settle then you have to commit to it.


On the flip side, the husband has likely settled from the second he proposed. He figured, "She's not the end all be all for me, but I want the stability and perks of being a "married man" so i'll take what i can get in that department, and shop around in other departments when given the opportunity." 

The remorse he showed awhile back was real but misplaced. He missed his stable life (did the math on child support) and wanted a do over. OP gave it to him. 

OP, if you're going to stay with this guy...and most people run a cost benefit analysis when confronted w/ this ****...from here on out, every decision needs to revolve around "how does this benefit _me_?" He's probably been thinking the same way since day 1.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

bojangles said:


> On the flip side, the husband has likely settled from the second he proposed. He figured, "She's not the end all be all for me, but I want the stability and perks of being a "married man" so i'll take what i can get in that department, and shop around in other departments when given the opportunity."
> 
> The remorse he showed awhile back was real but misplaced. He missed his stable life (did the math on child support) and wanted a do over. OP gave it to him.
> 
> OP, if you're going to stay with this guy...and most people run a cost benefit analysis when confronted w/ this ****...from here on out, every decision needs to revolve around "how does this benefit _me_?" He's probably been thinking the same way since day 1.


I think you need to look up the definition of settling. From your description he got EXACTLY what he wanted. Stability and extramarital affairs.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

notmyrealname4 said:


> There are no such things as "soulmates". That is a notion that sells books and movies and love songs.
> 
> There is such a thing as another human being whom you are very compatible with, and physically attracted to.
> 
> ...


A soulmate is just a faithful person who loves you for a long period of time, but it ain't magic.


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## bojangles (Oct 11, 2016)

sokillme said:


> I think you need to look up the definition of settling. From your description he got EXACTLY what he wanted. Stability and extramarital affairs.


If he was suave enough to have the quality and quantity of sex he truly desired, he never would have married in the first place. He settled for regular sex and thrill fVcked fatties and grannies on the side. 

2.
adopt a more steady or secure style of life, especially in a permanent job and home.
"one day I will settle down and raise a family"


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## becareful2 (Jul 8, 2016)

OP,

After you get 30 posts, you'll gain access to the Private Members' Forum. Go read the thread by "Lonely Husband 42301". Read it to see what genuine remorse is. A genuinely remorseful spouse would not tell their betrayed spouse to "get over it", nor would they say they don't want to do the heavy lifting to help their betrayed spouse heal because that would be kissing *ss. I find that betrayed wives often find their bearings much faster than betrayed husbands. That's probably because women have better chances of find new partners.

Your husband is not remorseful at all, and deserves a swift kick to the curb. He only wants you back because he doesn't want a better man to make him look bad. It's all about him and his ego, his insecurities, his selfishness of not wanting you to be truly happy with someone else.


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

becareful2 said:


> I find that betrayed wives often find their bearings much faster than betrayed husbands. * That's probably because women have better chances of find new partners.*
> 
> Your husband is not remorseful at all, and deserves a swift kick to the curb. He only wants you back because he doesn't want a better man to make him look bad. It's all about him and his ego, his insecurities, his selfishness of not wanting you to be truly happy with someone else.




I think men (especially as they get older), actually have the advantage in finding new partners.

Totally agree with the second paragraph.:thumbup:


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

@LostWifey though you may not realize it the reason you are feeling lost is because you have given your husband all the agency in your life. You will never feel whole again until you take it back.


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## maritalloneliness (Mar 18, 2015)

You're all wrapped up in him. Take your power back by doing things that you find important. Know that you have the power. What I realized after his affair is that I had the same options as he does and I had to remind my husband of this realization and my decision to uphold my marital vows is a testament to my personal value not for him.

Sent from my SM-N910T using Tapatalk


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## izza (Nov 8, 2016)

Hi .... I'm new here... I'm looking for advices I amso tired of my on and off relationship with my ex husband...we have a daughter 7 years old.
We've been married for seven years, suddenly he just ask for divorce cz he believes I was cheating on him... I was getting crazy begging him no but in the end we still did cz I found out he was the one cheating. I decided to move interstate but he followed me and we tried to work things back but for the last two years of trying... It feels like he just using me to have sex c he can't afford to get the girl she really like living in Asia... He was still in contact wd the girl and in fact sending money... Every time he's caught Ijust keep forgiving him due yo my love for humans daughter but I felt so humiliated and disrespected, he's excuse was because the girl is in overseas so it's nothing only in fb and he keep saying he chose me... I want to let go if him but I can't. Help me
_Posted via Mobile Device_
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

izza said:


> Hi .... I'm new here... I'm looking for advices I amso tired of my on and off relationship with my ex husband...we have a daughter 7 years old.
> We've been married for seven years, suddenly he just ask for divorce cz he believes I was cheating on him... I was getting crazy begging him no but in the end we still did cz I found out he was the one cheating. I decided to move interstate but he followed me and we tried to work things back but for the last two years of trying... It feels like he just using me to have sex c he can't afford to get the girl she really like living in Asia... He was still in contact wd the girl and in fact sending money... Every time he's caught Ijust keep forgiving him due yo my love for humans daughter but I felt so humiliated and disrespected, he's excuse was because the girl is in overseas so it's nothing only in fb and he keep saying he chose me... I want to let go if him but I can't. Help me
> _Posted via Mobile Device_
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Open your own thread so you can get responses to your questions. That way you get more individual attention to your situation. People treat you the way you allow them to treat you. You don't have to take his infidelity and stay with him. Decide how much more you can take. 

Good luck.


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