# Husband does not like me breathing into his face



## grisha (Oct 24, 2011)

Hi Ladies,
would you get offended if your husband said that he does not like you breathing into his face? We were having dinner yesterday and were chatting. I took a deep sigh while looking at him. He got quiet irritated and complained that I always breath right into his face. I asked if I had a stinky breath, and he said that I did not. 
This really offended me as I feel like he doesn't want to be close to me for some reason. He did tell this to me once before while having sex. He basically said that I was breathing too hard into his face. It killed the mood at the time.
Am I overreacting? I am very upset over this.


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## NatureDave (Feb 19, 2013)

Simple solution...don't breath into his face.

I know the romance movies like to show a torrid encounter that involves deep kissing and face-to-face encounters with breathing so heavy you'd think they just ran a marathon, but that's just the movies.


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## grisha (Oct 24, 2011)

Thanks for the reply. I understand that a simple solution is not to breath into his face, but doesn't it kill the closeness of the relationship if I always have to make sure I keep my distance? And this is what offends me the most that he wants to have some distance. It is kind of weird to always be aware which way I am breathing. He farts a lot, and it doesn't exactly smell like roses. It never even occurred to me to ask him not to fart.


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

grisha said:


> Thanks for the reply. I understand that a simple solution is not to breath into his face, but doesn't it kill the closeness of the relationship if I always have to make sure I keep my distance? And this is what offends me the most that he wants to have some distance. It is kind of weird to always be aware which way I am breathing. He farts a lot, and it doesn't exactly smell like roses. It never even occurred to me to ask him not to fart.


Sorry, but that cracked me up.

It's sh*tty for you because now you're always going to be self conscious about it - and that can certainly kill intimacy.

Ask him about it - say if my breath ain't stank, what's the deal, fart-knocker? 

Maybe it makes him claustrophobic? I would ask and say look, now I'm having some anxiety about this. What's the problem?

Then tell him his farts smell like the ass of a dead buffalo.


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## Advocado (Feb 24, 2010)

If my H's farting offended me I would ask him to leave the room if at all possible before farting. If your H's farting does not offend you to that extent (and presumably he does not fart in your face!) and you are okay with it, that's fine. But does that mean he then has to be fine with you breathing (albeit with no offensive aroma) in his face? 

Personally I don't like people breathing on me (particularly hate it if I'm on a crowded train or bus and will try and reposition myself or put my collar up if someone standing behind me is literally breathing down my neck.)

With H, we BOTH try and avoid breathing in each others face during the act, at least until we get to the point when we're too carried away to care/notice. 

Now, all that said, if only one of you has a issue with such breathing I can understand the other party being somewhat offended, but do try not to take it too personally, although that's easier said than done.

Does he breath in your face, or delibertately avoid doing so?


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Everyone has different odd little things that grate on their nerves.I don't like when I am lying on SO's chest at night and he's breathing through his nose and I can feel it tickling my forehead.I always move my head. 
It was kinda pr*ckish of him to come out and say it the way he did.

I wouldn't be hateful about it toward him.Simply express that it hurt your feelings and makes you feel self conscious now.This is not the time to pull the tit for tat stuff.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

ScarletBegonias said:


> Everyone has different odd little things that grate on their nerves.I don't like when I am lying on SO's chest at night and *he's breathing through his nose and I can feel it tickling my forehead*.I always move my head.
> It was kinda pr*ckish of him to come out and say it the way he did.
> 
> I wouldn't be hateful about it toward him.Simply express that it hurt your feelings and makes you feel self conscious now.This is not the time to pull the tit for tat stuff.


I can't stand the feeling of my OWN breath on me when I am trying to sleep. I have to make sure my arms are coverd because I tuck them up near my face. I also can't stand anyone but my SO breathing in my ear. That was a weird one too...I have always hated it if someone tried to whisper in my ear, but for some reason, when my STBW does it...I rather like it. Still don't like anyone else doing it.


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## grisha (Oct 24, 2011)

No, he doesn't fart in my face. He doesn't breath in my face either. But he does other things that I don't necessarily like, but I would never say anything as I don't want to offend him. If he had a stinky breath, I would never say anything as I don't want him to think about it while kissing and be self-conscious. I may suggest he goes to a dentist, but I would never flat out say his breath stinks. Same for farts - they are kind of offensive, but I wouldn't want him to always think about whether or not he is going to fart and leave the room. This would be insane, don't you think?
As for stranger on a crowded train, I completely agree - I hate them breathing down my neck even. I always move if I stand face to face with someone.


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## MrsLadyWriter (May 21, 2013)

samyeagar said:


> I can't stand the feeling of my OWN breath on me when I am trying to sleep. I have to make sure my arms are coverd because I tuck them up near my face. I also can't stand anyone but my SO breathing in my ear. That was a weird one too...I have always hated it if someone tried to whisper in my ear, but for some reason, when my STBW does it...I rather like it. Still don't like anyone else doing it.


I'm the same way - Hubby will pull a pillow or blanket up between us if he realizes I'm facing his direction because he knows I can't stand any air - breathing, fan, A/C, blowing over me while I sleep. It's not that it tickles or anything, but I can feel every little hair on my arm and it's just so irritating!

Now, if I can only get him to understand that blowing in my ear when he's trying to get romantic is irritating! It didn't used to be, but maybe now he's either trying to hard or I've just gotten too sensitive to it. I don't know. But it's like a tornado whooshing through my head and I just cringe!


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## Advocado (Feb 24, 2010)

grisha said:


> ... I took a deep sigh while looking at him. He got quiet irritated and complained that I always breath right into his face. ...


Your H could have handled this way better so in your shoes I would likely be upset too. 

Maybe you can say to him that every couple have little habits which the other finds offputting and that it's important to try and voice such irritations in such a way that your spouse will not be offended. Say that if, for example, you were offended by his farting, you would say something like "Honey, whenever possible, would you mind leaving the room before farting as I am uncomfortable with this" rather than showing him an irritated face and complaining. Tell him you would prefer he spoke to you in this fashion should anything you do offend him in the future, since you are not doing it intentionally and/or may not even realise what you are doing.

Re farting, in my family growing up we were expected to leave the room before passing wind as a courtesy to others present in the room. 

Sometime my H will burp and not say “pardon me/excuse me". Sometimes I barely notice and say nothing but at other times I do take note and will pull him up on this because I was brought up to believe it’s bad manners not to say “pardon me” after a burp. My feeling is just because we are married it doesn’t mean we don’t have to show respect. And I wouldn’t be offended if he were to pull me up on stuff like this if it was done in a respectful manner. Luckily we both have similar upbringings so our expectations are the same. But even, it we had different expectations, we would still need to respect one another if we wanted things to run smoothly. 

Ideally, we should all feel comfortable enough to be honest about the things which really irritate us and bring it to the attention of our spouses in a sensitive manner. This is better that silently suffering the "offense" until it get to the point where a potentially offensive outburst explodes or escapes out of us, as ill thought out angry verbal outbursts cause offense. I take it your H is not the type to intentionally hurt you so I think this is what happened with your H on the breathing thing.

So have a think about having a chat with H along the lines above and then make a conscious effort to just let it go.


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## Nonfiction (May 23, 2013)

i've told my wife the same thing, don't breathe in my face, i don't like it. she'll come in for a kiss and exhale right before, right in my face. she got upset too, i said it's not that big a deal, i just don't like it.

she still does occasionally but i think she also got my point...it's not you, he just doesn't like being blown on. shouldn't be that big a deal.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

grisha said:


> Thanks for the reply. I understand that a simple solution is not to breath into his face, but doesn't it kill the closeness of the relationship if I always have to make sure I keep my distance? And this is what offends me the most that he wants to have some distance. It is kind of weird to always be aware which way I am breathing. He farts a lot, and it doesn't exactly smell like roses. It never even occurred to me to ask him not to fart.


My wife and I cuddle a tremendous amount. But I don't like her blowing air in my face. I think you're reading way too much into what he has said. 

But then again, if you didn't read way too much into it, you wouldn't be a fema..... no, no, I simply will NOT go there....


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

Although not necessarily helpful to Grisha's situation, it's interesting to see that this bothers at least some people. I always thought it was a little erotic when my wife breathed in my face. I mean, as long as there wasn't too much garlic in the scampi that night.


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

I don't like it at all


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

well the good news is that you'll start breathing again after you pass out from holding your breath during a make out session


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## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

I think it was an insensitive remark. Could something else have been bothering him?


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

I would not be offended. I would respect his space and expect my husband to do the same for me.

I do think your overreacting of this issue. There are other ways to get close with your husband like sex, holding hands, sitting next to each other, ect... Sitting on top of him may be smothering to him.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

grisha said:


> No, he doesn't fart in my face. He doesn't breath in my face either. But he does other things that I don't necessarily like, but I would never say anything as I don't want to offend him. If he had a stinky breath, I would never say anything as I don't want him to think about it while kissing and be self-conscious. I may suggest he goes to a dentist, but I would never flat out say his breath stinks. Same for farts - they are kind of offensive, but I wouldn't want him to always think about whether or not he is going to fart and leave the room. This would be insane, don't you think?
> As for stranger on a crowded train, I completely agree - I hate them breathing down my neck even. I always move if I stand face to face with someone.


I think you guys need thicker skin.....if my wife had stinky breath I would ask her as politly as pie if she would mind brushing her teeth. if she got offended I would explain that stinky breath is not attractive and can be a sympton of a serious health problem and that is and when I have bad breath she should speak up and I would gladly brush my theeth


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## grisha (Oct 24, 2011)

Thanks guys. I guess my biggest problem was with the way he said. It could have been said nicely. I was once in a car with a friend and I did have stinky breath then as I had garlic for dinner the night before. My friend offered me gum, and I said 'no thanks'. She then said 'no, you really should'. That was a nice way of saying I had a garlicky mouth.
He tends to be rather insensitive, but on the other hand is very sensitive to what I say. The day before this, we were out for dinner at friends' house, who have a 5-year old. We have no children. The boy was acting up, and my husband was telling the boy's mother what his behavior meant. He didn't say anything rude. I didn't say anything then, but when we got home, I told him that I though that books and articles do not always reflect real life. And he should probably refrain from giving parental advice before he raises a child of his own. He did get really upset with me for that, and wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the evening.
I am thinking that his breathing comment was probably coming from that situation, and he was just looking for something to complain.
Now I have a question for people why say that breathing in their faces bothers them as well. How do you have sex unless it is doggy style? Do you expect your partner to turn away from you? Doesn't it kill the mood?


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

grisha said:


> Now I have a question for people why say that breathing in their faces bothers them as well. How do you have sex unless it is doggy style? Do you expect your partner to turn away from you? Doesn't it kill the mood?


Try 'reverse cowgirl' position. Always a guy pleaser.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

Quef ?


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

I think people should respect their spouse's personal space to a certain extent.
I consider farting , burping loudly , making sucking noises with your teeth , chewing your food loudly and breathing in your spouse's face as mildly disrespectful.

During lovemaking , breathing heavily into one's face is excusable and enjoyable because it is expected , just like sweat and other body fluids, during that time.

However, a sweaty husband cannot expect his wife who's well dressed and on her way out to a meeting or to hang out with her friends, to give him a full body hug and goodbye kiss.

Everything in context.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

grisha said:


> Thanks guys. I guess my biggest problem was with the way he said. It could have been said nicely. I was once in a car with a friend and I did have stinky breath then as I had garlic for dinner the night before. My friend offered me gum, and I said 'no thanks'. She then said 'no, you really should'. That was a nice way of saying I had a garlicky mouth.
> He tends to be rather insensitive, but on the other hand is very sensitive to what I say. The day before this, we were out for dinner at friends' house, who have a 5-year old. We have no children. The boy was acting up, and my husband was telling the boy's mother what his behavior meant. He didn't say anything rude. I didn't say anything then, but when we got home, I told him that I though that books and articles do not always reflect real life. And he should probably refrain from giving parental advice before he raises a child of his own. He did get really upset with me for that, and wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the evening.
> I am thinking that his breathing comment was probably coming from that situation, and he was just looking for something to complain.
> Now I have a question for people why say that breathing in their faces bothers them as well. How do you have sex unless it is doggy style? Do you expect your partner to turn away from you? Doesn't it kill the mood?


Your husbands behavior by giving you the silent treatment was very wrong. 

You are right, he should never give parenting advice. Even if you have your own children. These are two separate issues.

I don't like my face being breathed on unless I'm kissing my husband(we still kiss everyday after 14 years). I do like closeness and holding his hand. I don't want him or anyone else near my face, including my pets. 

Forcing someone to do something their not comfortable with will only make them angry.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

I would struggle with someone that could not handle being so close. I breath into my partners mouth sometimes during ex, we kiss a lot while doing the deed and as well as all other times. He breathes in my ear, I love that. 

To not be able to breath on him would make me feel too distant.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## HangingVine (Jul 1, 2013)

I don't mind mine "breathing"in my face..coughing in my face is a different story.

I'm not just making this up he was coughing open mouthed in my face a few months ago.And he had been exposed to sickness.He had it and he gave it to me.I was sick for two weeks.I thought that was rude.I just have this image of him coughing open mouthed straight at me now.Yes it kills the mood.


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

I don't like it either. It's different if it's in the heat of passion and making out but just talking - it would freak me out. But then, mouth breathing in general freaks me out a bit.

I'm a nose breather unless very, very sick.


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## Hortensia (Feb 1, 2013)

Um, maybe you DO have bad breath, and he just didn't want to say it? Coz this is my reaction to people with bad breath - pulling myself backwards with a displeased air and asking to please keep distance and not breathe on my face. You could try a minty new toothpaste and or/ regularly cheweing mints or minty gum, also eliminate from your diet certain foods that give breath odor - just in case bad breath is the problem.

Otherwise, some people simply don't like it. I have no problem with my babe breathing right near my nose..air going from his lungs into mine...I even like it, as a way of feeling him close. Nothing of his can ever disgust me - though, he does not fart or burp in front of me, that might turn me off  Your fart comment made me laugh lol !


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## janefw (Jun 26, 2012)

grisha said:


> He tends to be rather insensitive, but on the other hand is very sensitive to what I say. The day before this, we were out for dinner at friends' house, who have a 5-year old. We have no children. The boy was acting up, and my husband was telling the boy's mother what his behavior meant. He didn't say anything rude. I didn't say anything then, but when we got home, I told him that I though that books and articles do not always reflect real life. And he should probably refrain from giving parental advice before he raises a child of his own. He did get really upset with me for that, and wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the evening.
> 
> I am thinking that his breathing comment was probably coming from that situation, and he was just looking for something to complain.


He sounds a bit passive-aggressive to me, tbh. You think his comment to you about your breath was related to the former event?

And yes, there's nothing worse than non-parents giving parents child-rearing advice. It's something that I would have to respond to by asking "and how many children do you have?"


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