# How often do you have sex?



## Jeapordy (Aug 12, 2012)

I've been surprised at the number of people on TAM who have sex with their spouses several times per week. I'd love to have the desire and the time to do that, but it just isn't there. I attribute it to a fairly vanilla sex life where I have to put in all of the effort to spice it up. So between work and family and a somewhat sexually repressed wife, I just don't make the effort often enough.

I've been married for over 20 years, and I'm in my mid-40s. We probably have sex once per week, or maybe 3-4 times per month. We also both work full time and have kids at home, so that really affects how much time we have.

I'd like to see how "normal" that is. 
Please post how long you have been married, your age and how often you have sex. 
I'm also curious if couples where only 1 person works outside the home makes a difference in frequency. I always assumed that only 1 parent working means more couple time, but I have no idea.


----------



## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

Im 29 DH is 34 married 4 years together for 7 years
Hes home a month and at work a month. So, when he is home about everyday. Sometimes 2xs a day. However....my situation is unique. I work part time right now so i can spend time with him when he is home. If i was full time i think it would be more difficult. No kids...yet.


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Two - four days/week except for the time when she's menstruating. She does not want sex during this time. However normally on or after day 5 we will make love. So a typical 4 week breakdown follows this pattern:


Days 1 - 7: 1 time
Days 8 -14: 2 - 4 times
Days 15 - 21: 2 - 4 times
Days 22 - 28: 2 - 4 times

So the "hit rate" over a 4 week cycle ranges from 7 - 13 times in a month. Typically, we will hit 10 times a month normally. This ended up being a natural compromise throughout the years of marriage. My libido is high and I would love to have sex daily (even a couple times in a day). My wife originally would probably be content with 1 - 2 times a week. The pattern above is our "compromise". TBH, my wife's libido may have gone up a little since I think through the years she is enjoying sex more and more.


----------



## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

We're both 41, married 20 years, together 22. I've recently started keeping a cycle calender which includes 'intimate' days. I consider 'oral only' sessions to count as equal to sex. According to my calendar we did it 12 times in September including a bj during her period week.


----------



## rj700 (Jun 22, 2012)

I'm 54, W is 49. Married 18yrs. Frequency varies from 1-5 times a week. She'll hint, but vary rarely initiates. Also rarely says no, so I guess this is really on me. There was a long stretch where it was once a month or less.

I'm like you, the effort is mostly on me and I get a bit weary of always being the initiator. Mostly vanilla, but we'll add some toppings on occasion.


----------



## Henri (Jun 30, 2012)

My wife and I are in our mid-thirties. We don't have any children and have been married for about 5 years now. We have had sex twice this year. I am worried.


----------



## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

Henri said:


> My wife and I are in our mid-thirties. We don't have any children and have been married for about 5 years now. We have had sex twice this year. I am worried.


Why only twice...in your opinion


----------



## Henri (Jun 30, 2012)

missymrs80 said:


> Why only twice...in your opinion


Hi Missy. I am not sure to be honest, I think neither of us feel like it at the same time, neither of us initiate. We have a loving and positive relationship. 

I don't mean to hijack this thread with my concerns; maybe I will start one dedicated to it. I answered honestly as I hope my reply adds to the variation of replies. Thank you for your interest.


----------



## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

About once a week for us. Both work full time and have a young child in school and dance. I have low energy at night, so after little goes to bed, I'm not far from falling asleep myself. I'm about to start a daily multi vitamin and hope that helps my energy level.


----------



## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

Henri said:


> Hi Missy. I am not sure to be honest, I think neither of us feel like it at the same time, neither of us initiate. We have a loving and positive relationship.
> 
> I don't mean to hijack this thread with my concerns; maybe I will start one dedicated to it. I answered honestly as I hope my reply adds to the variation of replies. Thank you for your interest.


Start a new thread


----------



## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Me 42 her 45.
Been married 17 years.
Its hard to give a frequency because its never routine.

Sometimes its every night for an entire week and on weekends.
Sometimes its once per week depending on the work schedule.
But usually, its about 3 times per week.
She initiates most of the time.


----------



## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

Henri said:


> My wife and I are in our mid-thirties. We don't have any children and have been married for about 5 years now. We have had sex twice this year. I am worried.


Yikes! 

When I was married....2-3 times a week. Sex was never an issue for us.








_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Me 55, wife better not say but between 40 and 50.

It varies. But usually every 2 to 3 days.

Big sessions once every two to three weeks, where we do typically six to seven positions.

Some days it is for her pleasure, might even let her Queen me, she gets to decide what position next.

Other days it is for me (I know all of it is for both of us but it is more about who leads/decides) thats when I 'take' her fairly roughly and dominantly (In the morning "Ooh I'm a little sore down there, you seemed very big" and straight out of MMSL with a big grin I say "you're welcome" and she grins too.


----------



## Accipiter777 (Jul 22, 2011)

Me 44, Her 43, 1 10 yr old, both full time, she's also a full time student. we do 2 to 4 times a wk. I take care of all the household chores so she can go to college... We schedule 1 sex act a week, the others are whenever it happens.


----------



## Horsa (Jun 27, 2012)

Me 37 DW 27, married for 5 together for 6 years. Last month was 4 times per week. Wife was SAHM, with 2 kids (4 and 1 years old). There was almost 18 months of once a month after the first child was born.
DW initiated maybe once or twice a month, when she was ovulating and before her period.


----------



## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

Our sex life has been all over the board. Started as sex almost any day we could get together, then dwindled way down to once every 2-3 weeks.

It's now at 1-3 times per week, depending on the week. For the most part I'm fine with the frequency. Yes, when it's once a week I'd like it a little more often most times, but overall, I'm not unhappy.

What bothers me is the lack of variety. It's almost always regular sex, with either me or her on top. And that's fine most times, but sometimes a BJ, or something different (lingerie for example) would be nice. There's very little in that regard though.

Frequency is important, but so is variety.


----------



## confused55 (Apr 30, 2011)

We're 57 and 60.

Married 31 years. (29.5 happy).

2-3 times a week. Once a week would be good for me, but husband wants more, so it is more.


----------



## C123 (Jun 20, 2012)

I'm 32, she's 42 this week. Been married almost 9.5 years, together almost 11. 

We both work full time and have a 21 month old girl who is the product of 7 years of infertility treatment.

We have sex about once a month. Maybe twice a month. It's not nearly enough but the infertility and treatments are a gigantic problem and we're going through it again for baby #2. I'd be happy with once a week and hopefully after we're done with baby-making, we'll get there. Otherwise, we have a really wonderful marriage.


----------



## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

Jeapordy said:


> I've been surprised at the number of people on TAM who have sex with their spouses several times per week. I'd love to have the desire and the time to do that, but it just isn't there. I attribute it to a fairly vanilla sex life where I have to put in all of the effort to spice it up. So between work and family and a somewhat sexually repressed wife, I just don't make the effort often enough.
> 
> I've been married for over 20 years, and I'm in my mid-40s. We probably have sex once per week, or maybe 3-4 times per month. We also both work full time and have kids at home, so that really affects how much time we have.
> 
> ...


I think you are totally normal.

I think that only 1 parent working as opposed to 2 makes no difference whatsoever in frequency or 'couple time'. None. If by 'working' you mean working out of the house. ;-) Her work has varied from 'none' to fullime to part-time. Depending on our child situation etc.

with wife for 25 years, married 20.
2 kids, under 10.
We are late 40's.
Frequency for us ranges. Typically 2-3/week.. but there are periods when it is once a week too - as well as 4-5. It varies.

I often see comments by both men and women who feel put upon - that they are carrying the bulk of the sexual burden in spicing it up etc. I can understand that - but let me also say that there are worse things than having such a hobby. As if figuring out how to shake things up tonight is a tedious and thankless job.

Yeah - the old 'peanut butter and jelly sandwich every day for your entire life' analogy is apt - but dont let it get to you. 'Crunchy' peanut butter tonight baby! And with HONEY instead of apricot preserves - c'moverhere hunny.

I find I am always happiest whan I learn to enjoy reality rather than suffering from too much 'the grass is greener'. That doesnt mean you shouldnt try to improve your life, but it also means not losing sight of all the good things that actually work. I dont mean to pontificate, really I dont.


----------



## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

C123 said:


> I'm 32, she's 42 this week. Been married almost 9.5 years, together almost 11.
> 
> We both work full time and have a 21 month old girl who is the product of 7 years of infertility treatment.
> 
> We have sex about once a month. Maybe twice a month. It's not nearly enough but the infertility and treatments are a gigantic problem and we're going through it again for baby #2. I'd be happy with once a week and hopefully after we're done with baby-making, we'll get there. Otherwise, we have a really wonderful marriage.


Hope its [ the treatments] successful and
Best wishes to both of you!


----------



## bribrius (Jun 29, 2012)

mide thirties. wife thirty.
five or six times a week.
she is a sahm. Three kids working on four.


----------



## C123 (Jun 20, 2012)

Thank you Caribbean Man!


----------



## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

im 34
husband 33
together 22 years
4 kids---16yr & 9 yr old triplets

we average 2/3/4 days with sex [weather its oral or PIV]. but it can get to be 5 days and im like dude...its been 5 days....it can be 6 days or 7...i recall one time it was 2 weeks...neither of us noticed.

everybody has a "normal". thats our normal. we talked about this "normal", and decided to have a "new normal", in which neither of us would let "X" amount of days go by and not notice.

nothing is "normal" or "right" when it comes to sex in relationships. its just what works for the two people in it.


----------



## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

You've been together since age 11? Wow.


----------



## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

anotherguy said:


> I often see comments by both men and women who feel put upon - that they are carrying the bulk of the sexual burden in spicing it up etc. I can understand that - but let me also say that there are worse things than having such a hobby. As if figuring out how to shake things up tonight is a tedious and thankless job.


Not to completely disagree with you, but sometimes it can feel like that. Sex is a really important part of a happy marriage (for most people, there are some couples who are fine without sex, or very little sex but they are the minority), but if you are the only one working on it, it can definately feel like a tedious and thankless job.


----------



## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

58 and 55; together 34 years and married 28. Both employed full-time. 3x per week.


----------



## HabsFan (Sep 27, 2012)

I'm 39
Wife 37
Married for 10 - been together for 17
2 kids: 8 and 6

Like most couples with young children, it can sometimes be difficult. I would say 2 - 3 times a week is the average....one of those being our "dirty sex night" where one of us (we alternate the 'lead' every week) initiates an untried or previously very successful action/role/postition/game to keep things spicy. :smthumbup:


----------



## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

Ages 56 and 52, both had continuous careers and, sex was a contentious topic for most of our 26 year marriage … so we are not “normal”. We went from “like rabbits” to 4-6 times per *year * after 3 years of marriage (a sudden occurrence). I never did figure out why this happened … husband would not talk about it.


----------



## Zanna (May 10, 2012)

Both of early 40's. Married for 10 years but have lived together for 19 years. We have kids from Elementary school age to teens. Without revealing what I do - I work part-time to full time depending...

We had a sexless M for about 3-4 years. I lost attraction for him for various reasons, none of them being that I was truly LD. I was planning on leaving. A friend urged me to try counselling or reading books which helped me realize our problems were surmountable. Unfortunately, during this time he decided an A was the solution for him.

We now have sex almost every day. Often twice a day on weekends.


----------



## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Married almost 27 yrs together for 30
3 kids (21, 19, 14)
Me, 50 her 48
Me- Full time job
Her - Part time
Our overall average is about 1x a week 
Do get some bursts (few and far in between) where it can be 4x a week.

I'd be THRILLED with 2 or 3x on average


----------



## Rags (Aug 2, 2010)

Late 30's
Married 16.5 years
Sex 3-4 times a week (lately maybe 5) - it has varied a bit - never gone a week without, and one year we had sex every day (except a couple of days when ill, and a couple when she went to be with her father as he died.)

We both work, but her only part time (school hours)


----------



## rj700 (Jun 22, 2012)

anotherguy said:


> I often see comments by both men and women who feel put upon - that they are carrying the bulk of the sexual burden in spicing it up etc. I can understand that - but let me also say that there are worse things than having such a hobby. As if figuring out how to shake things up tonight is a tedious and thankless job.
> 
> Yeah - the old 'peanut butter and jelly sandwich every day for your entire life' analogy is apt - but dont let it get to you. 'Crunchy' peanut butter tonight baby! And with HONEY instead of apricot preserves - c'moverhere hunny.


Just wanted to say thanks. I am one of those saying they carry the bulk. But the PB&J gives me an idea .... we do have a jar of fluffernutter in the fridge.


----------



## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

Both in our mid-40s, been married 17 years and we went through some real lean ones. We were down to once or twice a month but things have picked up and that number is weekly now.


----------



## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Together 25 yrs, married 22.
Me-45 hubby-49
3x kids - 14, 16, 26.
Intimate 2-4 x a week with 2-3 of those on the weekend, sometimes it's full on sex other times a HJ or a BJ.

We both initiate ...but H more so.

Loves, cuddles and kisses...everyday...several times.


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

51, W 50... Married 18 years this Dec. both of work full time. Two sons, 11 and 13. Average 3 to 4 times a week. I could go every night, but W gets tired. And, this not just wham bam thank you ma'am either. 

Eight years ago it was way less... Difference, stay physically active: Run every morning, swim during lunch hour... Lift weights eat right, limit alcohol consumption, drink lots of water and two cups green tea (old Chinese man told me keeps his wife happy). 5'10" 160 lbs. bp 107/62 and resting HR 48... Wife also keeps an active aerobics routine... Definitely the key as far as we are concerned. 

Oh yea helps that we cancelled our cable.


----------



## Adex (Aug 1, 2012)

Married under 5 years and both in our early 30s with one 3 year old child. Sex 3 times a week. Footjobs during her period, and I count that as sex for me. We schedule it usually late at night after our child is asleep, so I don't have to worry about initiating. 

It would be much less if I didn't insist as she said she could do with not having sex at all. That feeling started mostly after our child was born. That's one of the reasons why I'm hesitant to have a second child.


----------



## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

WorkingOnMe said:


> You've been together since age 11? Wow.


Sorry. Me and math are casual friends. We've known each other since he was 11 and I 12, then boyfriend/girlfriend at 12/13. 

We just had our 12 year wedding anniversary a month ago. When you've been together over half your life, numbers are just confusing.


----------



## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

41 and 38. Married 18 years, together 20.

About 10-15 times per week except during her period. Then usually once or twice towards the end of her period. Some sort of sexual contact every day for both of us.


----------



## Bellavista (May 29, 2012)

H 46
Me 43
Married 24 years. Have had some hurdles along the way..
3 kids still home, 15-20. They have an impact on our sex life as they are home all of the time & we have to be quiet & can't really just sneak off. Compact house with thin walls!
H works from home, I work part time out of the house & part time with him at home.
Frequency - at least every second day, the break is usually for H to recover (these old men). During my period, I will give him 1 or 2 bjs or hjs.
Even when we were at our worst & fighting like cats & dogs, sex was still at least twice a week. (No wonder we have 5 kids). When we were separated 12 years ago we still met for sex.


----------



## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Bellavista said:


> H 46
> Me 43
> Married 24 years. Have had some hurdles along the way..
> 3 kids still home, 15-20. *They have an impact on our sex life as they are home all of the time & we have to be quiet & can't really just sneak off*
> ...


----------



## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

Both 40, together 22 years, married 10.

2 kids aged 5 and 2.

He works full time, I work part time.

We have sex of some kind between 3 and 5 times per week.


----------



## needyForHelp (Aug 8, 2012)

I am 31 wife is 30, married for almost 4 years we have a kid almost 3 years ..... I work full time she is SAHM ...... 

I am always ready, but if she wants then maybe once in 1 or two weeks. since last time I am not initiating so last 18 days no sex.


----------



## fetishwife (Apr 22, 2012)

Her 45 me 46. Together 23 years...1 12 year old. Wife used to work about 50 hours I work about 35. 

Cutting her work hours back by my demand finally (and now she is happy about it and does not hate work anymore) DID have a HUGE positive effect on increased sex by the way....now she does more like 35-45 hrs...has a lot more energy for all kinds of non work things including me.

Used to be 4-6 times PER MONTH for almost all those 22 years....unless on vacation over the years go up to as much as 1x per day (and we took 3-4 vacations per year). She would initiate maybe once in 4-6 months..over most of our marriage...So I did all the initiating.

Then my wife got this sexual obsession for Daniel Craig the movie star 6 months ago and upped the sex with me to 3-4 times per week. Then I got pissed off about that for several months and we went to MC/IC and we were fighting all the time about all kinds of intimacy - connection issues and what I considered to be her workaholism....STILL was 2-3x per week even when I think she hated me, and she was sometimes pissed.I was more hurt..but also sometimes much much better sex than ever. We have worked on a particular area of her lack of sexual confidence and repression for 8+ years now....I think she is finally accepting herself as a sexual person.....when she went through this obsession she had what she called a "hypersexual" phase....Im not sure if the obsession caused it or the hypersexual phase made it easy to get an obsession....hurt my feelings badly none the less....

Now that our fight is slowly calming down and we are (me) agreed to stay together married forever...sex frequency is much higher like 4-5 times per week ....(although fighting a couple weeks ago we went 6 days with nothing).....with twice a day every couple weeks on a weekend day! That is awesome!...that was unheard of in the past...I mean never....we NEVER started out with a good sex life even when dating she was very repressed and virgin at age 23. I had to pressure her into sex for the first 14 years of our relationship...then we went to MC and figured out this sex fetish thing she had which is not one in the books let me tell you...then she opened up...then shut it down again for 7 years....then the above....

She will ONLY initiate on non-workday mornings...usually very early in the am and then we go back to sleep. I initiate as much as possible mostly at night or in the shower in the daytime after we work out...we try to exercise together at home....(that way Im sure of a together shower!) and she now almost never says no. 

Honestly I think she would like to say no sometimes..but she does it for me...we are working on this....but I finally have decided she is just low drive or low average and Im very high drive...

I told her 3x per day would be about right for me....to be honest maybe too much and once after 4 days in a row I almost could not get it up...but I DID! That had never ever happened to me before.

I get starfish where she does nothing once in a while if she is pissed. 

Probably over 50% of the time when we have sex she is not particularly in the mood when I initiate then it seems to go ok as long as I take charge.

On the weekend morning when she initiates she is very in the mood and goes for multiple positions etc. That is when she gets an O a couple times a month (maybe was zero in the past now 2-3 times per month..she is pretty honest about it). I can tell when she is actually in the mood as its all very hot and sweaty vs other times when there is natural lube but that is about it. 

She will often do a quickie (like 10 minutes) with me in the shower...we have a large shower...

I think if it was up to me 100% then Id do every day and twice some days with lots of quickies unless she asked me to do something to satisfy her.....if it was 100% up to her it might be 2-3 times per month but high quality.

I guess 3-5 times per week is a great great compromise for me...coming from often 1x per week and quickie porn use in between for me...YUCK...and thanks to the movie star thing which really upset me, but actually was probably the best thing to happen to me in years!


----------



## MYM1430 (Nov 7, 2011)

We are both mid-thirties, married almost 13 years, work full time with three elementary age children. In decent shape, we average 1-2 times a month for the last few years.


----------



## Cupcake37 (Nov 19, 2011)

I am 38 he is 41. Been together 17 years, married for 7. Two children age 6 and 3, I work part time, we have sex between 1-2 a month! This is a huge improvement as we went years without sex but still not happy and reading this thread just makes me depressed!


----------



## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

I am 48 she is 46. We have been married 25 years. My wife confirms we have sex between 5-6 times per week depending. I asked her so I wouldn't be guilty of exaggerating.

I work full time in a high stress job. She stays home and home schools our 15 year old and manages our autistic 20 year old and also runs the house so also a high stress job.


----------



## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

southern wife said:


> About once a week for us. Both work full time and have a young child in school and dance. I have low energy at night, so after little goes to bed, I'm not far from falling asleep myself. I'm about to start a daily multi vitamin and hope that helps my energy level.


Hmm...

Thought about giving the dance classes a rest for a spell and devoting the extra time to each other?

I remember when my little one used to do ball. That got really taxing, and the seasons were only a few months long, 2x per year max (we did not have an all-star player).

If those dance classes are year-round, maybe you can do three months on then three months off?


----------



## Racer (Sep 24, 2009)

Varies... I’m 45, she’s 44, both work 50+ hour work weeks and 3 kids.

We may do it twice in a day. Maybe once a week. Or we may do it only once that month. What we found was it was bad to keep score. If either of us feels like it, we make a play. Sometimes there is rejection... and being the standard initiating partner, I’ve learned to deal with it knowing its not a pattern anymore.


----------



## cub!chy (May 7, 2012)

We have been married 13 years, we have 3 kids, 6, 4 and 2, she stays home and I work. We make time for ourselves, you just have to. We have sex at least on average 4 times a week, so 16-20 times a month. We have all kinds of sex, we may drink one night, watch porn, anal, vanilla, tie me up day, fantasy, dirty talk, anal, you name it. Sex is something we both enjoy very much and an escape for us. We are each other HO; I will do anything for my wide and vice versa.


----------



## needguidance (Aug 17, 2012)

cub!chy said:


> We have been married 13 years, we have 3 kids, 6, 4 and 2, she stays home and I work. We make time for ourselves, you just have to. We have sex at least on average 4 times a week, so 16-20 times a month. We have all kinds of sex, we may drink one night, watch porn, anal, vanilla, tie me up day, fantasy, dirty talk, anal, you name it. Sex is something we both enjoy very much and an escape for us. We are each other HO; I will do anything for my wide and vice versa.


Thats what I like to hear! I cant stress that enough to other people. If you are going to be extremely nasty or do all the dirty stuff, do it with the person you settle down with or your future wife, husband. When you give everybody "special" treatment, whats left for the love of your life? In a marriage you have to be each others "HO".


----------



## HopelesslyJaded (Aug 14, 2012)

Not as much as we should. Since our incident my drive to initiate has went to 0. My passion for my husband isn't what it was. We use to be 3-5 time a weekers and now we are 1 time a week. 2 times some weeks.


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

cub!chy said:


> We have been married 13 years, we have 3 kids, 6, 4 and 2, she stays home and I work. We make time for ourselves, you just have to. We have sex at least on average 4 times a week, so 16-20 times a month. We have all kinds of sex, we may drink one night, watch porn, *anal*, vanilla, tie me up day, fantasy, dirty talk, *anal*, you name it. Sex is something we both enjoy very much and an escape for us. We are each other HO; I will do anything for my wide and vice versa.


Anal must be a big part of your sex life...


----------



## Eco (Mar 9, 2012)

Her 35 me 34, we have sex most days, often multiple times usually around 2x during her period. For me my drive is not hindered by life stress/work - if anything, being exceptionally busy increases my desire for that time of connection and intimacy that is separate from "life". 

The only thing that lessens my drive is when there are problems in the relationship.


----------



## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

We average about twice a week now...sometimes more...and sometimes less. I am the high drive spouse in our relationship...I always crave more, but am thankfull for what does happen when it does. 

Our sex life is fun and creative...but I still want more frequency. After reading the posts from many couples on this site, I realize I should feel very lucky with what I get now in the bedroom... 

We are both in our mid 40's and have one teenage son busy with sports and school.


----------



## Jeapordy (Aug 12, 2012)

WOW. I didn't expect the high frequencies of many of the responses. That is a little depressing for people who are lower frequency, like me.
Is that because the people who are 1/wk or less don't want to admit it? 

How do guys do it every day or twice a day without getting desensitized? Isn't sex just like eating your favorite dessert every day, no matter now much you love it, if you eat it too often, it isn't as good?


----------



## Kat76 (Sep 4, 2012)

I would love sex 3 to 4 times a week and some times a few times a day. However, my husband not so much and we have been sexless for a few months.


----------



## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

Jeapordy said:


> WOW. I didn't expect the high frequencies of many of the responses. That is a little depressing for people who are lower frequency, like me.
> Is that because the people who are 1/wk or less don't want to admit it?
> 
> How do guys do it every day or twice a day without getting desensitized? Isn't sex just like eating your favorite dessert every day, no matter now much you love it, if you eat it too often, it isn't as good?




I'm not an everydayer but I love to orgasim. It's the best. I think I'm addicted to them. I need to have one, then another, then another.....

Vicious cycle lol. 

But no couldn't get tired of that feeling.


----------



## russ101 (Jan 8, 2010)

Me 48 (almost 49), wife 47. 

both work me full time, her part time (used to be full time)
Married 19 years
3 kids 
first 5 years of marriage like rabbits 
next 8 years 5-6 times a month
last 6 years 6-8 times per year, none in last 3 months

just reading all of these gets me depressed!


----------



## D2D (Oct 6, 2012)

ZERO-- NONE-- NADA. I truely am in a sexless marriage.:scratchhead:
The last time was almost 6yrs ago before the birth of my son.


----------



## Flyguy (Sep 29, 2012)

I'm 37 and W is 36...been together 13 years. Three kids and both work full time.

Our sex life is pathetic....once a month, maybe twice if I'm lucky. I would nightly, but she has *zero* desire. And when I do get my 20 minutes of sex, I feel as if she is is looking at her watch. Barely any foreplay and no oral whatsoever.


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Jeapordy said:


> I've been married for over 20 years, and I'm in my mid-40s. We probably have sex once per week, or maybe 3-4 times per month. We also both work full time and have kids at home, so that really affects how much time we have.
> 
> I'd like to see how "normal" that is.
> Please post how long you have been married, your age and how often you have sex.
> I'm also curious if couples where only 1 person works outside the home makes a difference in frequency. I always assumed that only 1 parent working means more couple time, but I have no idea.


Married 23 yrs... I am 45, husband 48 .....4-6 times a week.... 

6 kids (Kidnergarten to college age), I work about 8 hrs a week, him 40. 

We wasn't always like this though...Most couples were screwing like bunny rabbits in early marraige ....we missed that ...a story for the books trouble with my hymen...(both waited till marraige)...then got pregnant TOO quickly...before he even fully penetrated me.... then had secondary Infertility over 6 long yrs... during that time...husband started feeling rejected by me as I cared more about his







over his pleasure... (I was a bit basketcased during that time)....plus I was an inhibited "good girl" / I blame repression for much of this as I feel I was always decent to high drive.... I needed it BADLY at least once a week or I would chase him down. When pregnant, I wanted it all the time. (no wonder he didn't care how many kids we had)... once those babies started coming .....we had 5 in 9 yrs.... I was dumb enough to put them in bed with us....







.....(he let me do it!)... So we were not the brightest bulbs in how we handled sex in the past. By the time we made love, (at least once a week)..... both of us panting for it... a few pumps & it was all over. Electric Heaven --but we could have done it 3 X more than what we did in those yrs. 

Then 4 yrs ago...I entered my "PRIME" & went completely MAD about sex...One might say my Mid life crisis was all sexual ... had last baby, oldest leaving for college, got an IUD...sexual Freedom [email protected]#$%^.... lost every inhibition I ever had during that time.. & wanted to go back in time something awful , wanted to experience all the WILD sex I felt we missed due to my being so focused on kids/ projects & his being too passive over the yrs in this area ~ even though he wanted so much more. I wanted to spank him for that. 

This crazy sex ride lasted almost a year. .... and even though my drive took a dive (I'd say hormonally I am the same now as I was for the 1st 19 yrs)... We were having so much fun... .I didn't want this to stop... 

NOW we are driven more by the *Emotional connection* ~as husband is slowing down anyway...thank God he loves sex....it's something he never tires of, so long as he can get it up, he wants to use it (his words).... I've learned how to be very creative to get the snake to rise... Spicing is a JOY.  




> How do guys do it every day or twice a day without getting desensitized? Isn't sex just like eating your favorite dessert every day, no matter now much you love it, if you eat it too often, it isn't as good?


 My answer to this is ... me & my husband are both the Touchy Feely type, we love to be in each others arms & when you go there, one thing just inevitably leads to another







... and well.... who doesn't want an orgasm a day ? We feel like Pandakiss here >>


> I love to orgasim. It's the best. I think I'm addicted to them


Though it's true, if we haven't done it in 3 -4 days ... it is HOTTER, a little more ELECTRIC like I am drowning in his kisses...like that Foreigner song "Feels like the 1st time" .....we've talked about this... and both agreed, we'd rather do it more often vs... less often but experience more intensity.... Heck that is what we had for 19 yrs, so now we're doing the bunny rabbit thing.

Our story IS completely & utterly backwards. Biggest blunder of our marraige....we didn't talk about the sexual (masterbation, our fantasies, his needs







)... and we missed each other. We're making up for lost time.


----------



## skeptik (Oct 6, 2012)

He: 38, work from home
She: 40, sahm
Us: 19 yrs, married for 15
Kids: 8 & 12

Frequency: ~6-8 times per year


----------



## Bellavista (May 29, 2012)

SA, you guys sound like we were and now are.


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Bellavista said:


> SA, you guys sound like we were and now are.


That's neat.... glad we aren't the only ones with a backwards story ~ I bet you also feel like me then... if only we KNEW *then* what we KNOW *now*..... Live & learn. 

Then sometimes I think, if I was like this THEN, I would have been so preoccupied with the sexual, I might have ignored our kids...shooing them off ....and let our house fall down around us cause we wouldn't want to get out of bed. 

He tells me we might not have the kids we have today had it played out differently, so ...yeah.....


----------



## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

Both almost 40.

3-8 times a month.

Reason we are so freaking tired!!! Both work 50hr+/wk, 3 kids soccer, volleyball, violin, taekwondo, gymnastics, she is also in school two nights a week.

Our typical day is up a 6am and the last kid home by 9pm we alternate that, then showers, a glass of wine, and as much as we cuddle and hold we are both asleep in 15 minutes usually.

A year ago we were 12-15x a month!!


----------



## SoxFan (Jun 9, 2012)

Me: 53, wife 54, married almost 30yrs
I work 50-60 hrs/week, she works full time also. Kids grown.
Once a week here. Saturday night is it. If I miss out on that then it's wait till next week. I don't even try to initiate any other time during the week (or at least have not tried any more than that) because usually I'll be turned down. Best frequency we had was probably twice a week back in the day.

Twice a week would be good for me. I'd be OK with that. But I guess, in all fairness, I have not really discussed things with my wife. I've just sort of "settled" for more or less a sure thing with our once a week frequency. I'd also like a little more variety. Our once a week sex is as scripted as a play. Maybe it's time for some better communication between us on this?? 

Thanks for the post...it's got me thinking.


----------



## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Wish it were different. Haven't had sex since June 3, 2011 at around 5:30 or 6pm. She just came from having sex with her boyfriend. I could tell after it was too late. 

Played it smart and had a blood test. All is well.

Before that, not much.

once or twice a month for about six months or so, maybe longer. it was terrible and I did not do enough about it. Stupid me.

don't know if I will ever have sex again.


----------



## fetishwife (Apr 22, 2012)

2ntnuf.....I hope you got a divorce.....


----------



## Jane_Doe (Aug 9, 2012)

I'd like to say 'once a day', like when I wasn't working at all, but putting this into practice with both of us working full-time (or full-time hours anyway) and on top of everything else that needs doing, I think we average out to 2-3 times a week. Though that feels more like a temporary lull right now, and once we're back into the swing of our new work schedules, we'll be back in the saddle I hope


----------



## romantic_guy (Nov 8, 2011)

I am 57 my DW is 56. We got married at 16 & 17 and have been married for 40 years. We are at 2-3 times a week except when we take our annual week together at a resort. Then it is everyday...sometimes twice a day.

Even when the kids were at home we had a bedroom with a lock and it was at the other end of the house so we we had regular sex even then.


----------



## Mr B (Feb 6, 2009)

None since Clinton was President.


----------

