# Soon to be divorced custodial dad needs ideas.



## dad43boys (May 5, 2011)

Hello Everyone,

Without going in to the details of the slow death of our relationship, suffice it to say that my marriage is going to end with certainty. Unfortunately, the lives of my three little boys ages five, three and two will be forever altered. What I am hoping for is some advice on getting prepared for caring for 3 boys by myself.

My W wishes to leave the kids with me as well as the house. My troubles with caring for them alone start with the fact that up until now my W has been a stay at home mom. While I make enough for the 5 of us, I don't make enough to keep 3 kids in daycare without making major changes. The house will have to be sold, which could take months or even years in this economy, and we'll have to downsize drastically. Even if I could affod the daycare, I commute to work, 1 hour one way by train. I meet the train at 6:20am and don't get off the train in the afternoon until 6:00pm. I don't have any clue how to arrange daycare around a schedule like that. Also, my job requires occasional travel, up to a week at a time. I don't have any family in the area so I don't know how I am going to meet the requirements of my job.

I'm lucky to have my job in this economy. Finding another one closer to home at my pay scale will be difficult if not impossible. 

Is there anybody out there that can give examples of how they dealt with similar circumstances? Are there any resources out there that could help me find solutions?

Thanks for your input and kindest regards.


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## TNgirl232 (Oct 5, 2008)

That is a tough situation....a few things I found by searching alternatives to daycare:

Alternatives to Traditional Daycare, Page 2 of 2 - Associated Content from Yahoo! - associatedcontent.com

Weighing alternatives to day care for working parents - by Christine Conte - Helium

Nanny/au pair seems like an ideal option for you - especially if you can offer a live in option - that way you don't have to fork over as much in 'pay' and the food bill/mortgage/utilities will remain the same because you will have the same number of people living there as before the divorce. This would also take care of your occasional out of town trips. I would think if room/board/gas allowance (for running errands and transporting the kids) you could get away with $150 a week would be reasonable if you give them weekends and nights (once you are home) off. Extra pay for times when you need them to cover other times. Minimum Wage jobs make roughly $300 a week and you would be covering all her living expenses.

Just a thought....


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## Powerbane (Nov 8, 2010)

And when the mother starts work - go after her for child support.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Powerbane said:


> And when the mother starts work - go after her for child support.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Around here, people are responsible for a minimum amount of child support if they're capable of working, even if they're not actually working. That's likely a jurisdictional thing. But investigating her financial responsibilities would be a good thing.

C


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## dad43boys (May 5, 2011)

TNgirl232 - Thanks for the great idea. I will definately be researching that option


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