# College support question



## Laurae1967 (May 10, 2011)

Does anyone know of a calculator for college support? Or has anyone gone through the process of figuring out what they will contribute for college expenses for their children? We are trying to figure out what is reasonable. Thanks!


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

Laurae1967 said:


> Does anyone know of a calculator for college support? Or has anyone gone through the process of figuring out what they will contribute for college expenses for their children? We are trying to figure out what is reasonable. Thanks!


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

I did but in Canada so not sure how much help I'd be!
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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

With more information, I may be able to offer some comments. Are you divorcing? Are you taking out student loans? Are you asking about an average college tuition (no such thing). There is no calculator that I know of, that does not mean there is not one. I put three kids through private universities so I have some idea of expenses, but how much you agree to pay for college is between you and your child. Can you be more specific as to what it is you are trying to get at?


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## Laurae1967 (May 10, 2011)

My husband and his ex-wife have been divorced for 15 years. They have a son who is 18 and going off to college. His ex-wife makes 336% more than my husband, so I was trying to figure out what our proportional share should be. Their divorce decree says they will pay "what they are each able" for college, so there is no specific amount we are required to pay. His ex-wife is able to pay for their son's full tuition by herself. She is also married to a wealthy guy. But we also want to contribute.

I just found a formula to calculate proportional income shares (her income + my husband's income= TOTAL INCOME). Divide each of their incomes by the TOTAL INCOME to get their respective shares. My husband's share would be 25%. 

The other issue is the the ex-wife has NPD and has, over the years, tried to alienate my husband's son from him. She has not included my husband in any college search activities, visits, or in any of the decision-making. She called him over the phone with their son and told him where their son wants to go. She has complete control of my stepson, who at age 18 still does everything she wants, and he has decided that he wants to go to a private university, not a state university, which is significantly more. So we thought what would be fair is to pay 25% of what the public university tuition would be, and have her and their son pay the rest. Son works and saves, so he should also be able to contribute something. This amount would be affordable for us. Do you think that is fair? 

I also have two other kids from my first marriage and their dad is not wealthy like my husband's ex-wife is, so I want to make sure we have enough money left over so that when the other two boys start college next year and the year after that, we can afford to contribute to their college as well.


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

Well, OK. Two points.

First: The FAFSA is required by college Financial Aid offices. But, quite honestly, it's a joke. The FAFSA will say you can pay WAY WAY more than is realistic. Use it as a tool only but don't hold value to it - college financial aid offices are aware of the joke FAFSA is but they use it at least to get an idea of your income based in Tax returns. So don't let the final effective family contribution (EFC) scare you. Work with the financiall aid office of the colleges he would like to attend.

Second: If your H ex chooses the college without coordinating/cooperating with you, she should pay for most of it. It is not fair to force a private university tuition on someone without prior agreement so I say no way to that. I was in a different situation thank God, my stbxw and me put all three of our kids through private colleges but we had no idea back then that we would be divorcing. So now, we are having to sell off most of our assets to get the student loans paid off, that means all the equity we had in our house and we were 4 years from paying off the house, stocks, dip into retirement funds and pay the tax penalties. That was after scholarships, grants, etc for all 3. I guess my warning would be - don't overextend what you can't afford to do. In retrospect, I wish I would have sent them through two years of community/junior college first but what is done is done, they have all graduated and are doing very well.

Anyway, that's my thought on these two issues.


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

Good points on taxes, the only problem i had with the Jan 1 date is that we never got our W-2s until the end of jan so it was like either do a double whammy and fill out the fafsa by estimating and then come back and adjust it later or just turn it in later and risk losing FA funds. It was a pain in the a$$, never the less a necessary evil. I guess because i was doing for 3 kids throughout a period of 12 years. God im glad thats over.
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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

I think you each have to contribute an arm or a leg.

Sorry, not helpful, I know, but I couldn't resist.


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## james_blocker (May 22, 2012)

Fill out the FAFSA form with all required information and submit it. Meet the financial aid office staff at your son’s school. They will let you know how much aid your son is eligible for and how the school will pay for it and when. Your son can get federal aid only if he is enrolled in an accredited school. I remember reading something like this on a CollegeAmerica student review. It would help if you go through information and tips on how to fill out FAFSA.


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