# Newly separated...



## dream_weaver (Jun 5, 2012)

I recently separated with my husband after 21yrs together,we met quite young & I believe & have felt for quite some time if my circumstances had been different we wouldn't have been together as long as we had.I came from an abusive childhood & he was my rescuer,I craved stability so that's why I stuck out for so long even though deep down it never felt it would last.

He always liked to gamble which didn't bother me too much pre children & marrying as his money was his but after we had children I felt let down when he gambled as he wasn't supporting his family to his best ability & it was very stressful.Over the years his gambling increased & he stole from his workplaces & lied to his family to get money that he lost to pay bills......he put us in ALOT of debt which I only last year have gotten us out of.I had to control all finances & the stress it created to pay off the debts was bigger for me...he earnt the money then left it up to me to pay things off.Whenever he had any money on him it went on gambling.He never saw he had an issue,still in denial now.

So I checked out of the relationship emotionally as there was no trust left & I felt I didn't want to go through another 20+ yrs with someone who couldn't see they had a problem.We had discussed this many times on how he would stop (just to keep me appeased).We also discussed separating this time last year but we weren't quite ready & thought we'd give it one last shot....

Well late last year I had an emotional connection with someone which made me realise it was time to leave the marriage as I have absolutely nothing left for him...I decided to leave regardless of this other person coming into my life.

I feel it was 200% the right thing to do,it hasn't been easy but the stress that is now off me is incredible,I have full control over my money & where it goes!I can pay my bills & keep a roof over my families head & I have no debt.

I have continued seeing this other person to see what/if anything is there & its been very slow due to him working away & the fact the children haven't been introduced as yet so only see each other when they are with their father.Things are progressing nicely & he's an amazing man with good morals & ethics & doesn't gamble!We are looking into introducing the kids in another few months (its been 5mths since separating) ,they already know about him as the ex told them I was having an affair with this person.Other than an emotional connection nothing happened intimately until after the separation.....

Some might constitute an emotional connection as an affair but as soon as I realised I was out of there as I didn't want to have an affair,I knew it was time to leave.


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