# The Silence is driving me insane



## JamesMh (Sep 3, 2011)

Hello all,

I previously came to you all with a problem concering my wife wanting me to not use marijuana. Time and time again I said I would stop but for one reason or another I would give in to my selfishness and use. I thought I had it under control untill this last time I got layed off and was having a hard time dealing with my depression. It doesent matter what my excuse is because with addiction their is no excuse, I have been in a rehab program these last 3 weeks and will finish in 1 more week. Right now my word does not mean a thing to her I have tried texting/calling/emailing nothing. The first week she actually picked up and talked to me and she was saying she missed things about me and she wouldnt take me back right now but if I prove myself by being down there she would probably because we love each other. So I called her the next day and her mom had found out through her little brother that I was packing my stuff heading down there I guess this frustrated her and she was mad all again. So that night happened to be our 3rd wedding anniversary I must of called all nights long only to get one text back "Wedding night Schweddine night didnt matter to you then doesent now". I told her it did and I wanted to talk to her about things nothing, so since the 31st I have been doing nothing but calling and texting her trying to talk about things. Last night she got on her old facebook accnt and started talking to me she was pissed she had to go work 11-7 after working 7-3 I told her I help her with the finances and our sons after car she said bs that she should of never moved out. I asked if we could talk on the phone she said she had to go to work. She told me I left her with nothing no tv no internet and the bills, keep in my mind I wouldnt of left had she just let me stay. So I havent called all day because a lot of my female friends from back home are trying to help me ignore her. I dont want to move on from the girl I love her and it is high past time I put away my greedy habbits and focus on my familys and my needs. Anyways I dont know what to do anymore I find it so hard to not try and contact her. I am scared she is done for good and I know she has every reason to want that. I just cant give up because she has said she is done before, she has said nothing about divorce this time but in past fights she was going to get one, I just dont get how I should deal with this. Yes I know I need to show her but is giving her space really going to help do women like to be ignored? btw her and I are 732 mles away from each other right now thinking of just leaving her alone for the next week try to contact if not Im going to drive down to talk to her face to face.


Thanks so confuesed and feel like Im losing what is left of my sanity

James


----------



## Married&Confused (Jan 19, 2011)

spend the next week getting yourself straight and letting her think for a while.

then retry. but seriously think about life without her since she has already given you opportunities to straighten yourself out.


----------



## JamesMh (Sep 3, 2011)

Well I figure I would give you all an update of some sorts, I spoke with a marriage therapist. The marriage counceler talked to me about an hour I told her everything I had done and the things she as saying. She told me that she was saying a lot of the things she was as a defense mechanism and that she is trying to protect herself from getting hurt again. My wife and I are actually on speaking terms now she was telling me about my sons day earlier and I was asking her some questions she still is with the nothing is going to happen angle. I was told to put my fears behind me that this definetly will work out since if she was done she wouldnt be talking to me at all. So I am just chatting with her by text right now about stupid stuff nothing serious told her I wanted to hold her and she said "yeah well". So I am leaving for there in 4 or 5 days and Im just going to make them my priority. I am going to go to my meetings and stay in a sober frame of mind from here on out which actually feels good. I am hoping that by my actions she comes back around because honestly I miss being a good guy I dont like this person I have become. I am more motivated now to do something then I ever have been and I know I can win this girls heart back.


----------



## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Yes, actions.

Your wife and mother of your child has expressed she is having financial trouble.

Helping her with that problem would be taking some responsibility and showing her "action not words".

Got a job?


----------



## JamesMh (Sep 3, 2011)

Nope I had lost my job in florida went back to NC after we had this huge fight. So I am going down on money I have save to go get another job and help her financially and emotionally. She is starting to be more affectionate in her talk meaning she is talking about sexual stuff a lot more.  So I have a feeling she is giving me some kind of opening to make this work and prove to her this one last time I am capable of being a responsible adult.


----------

