# Is this marriage worth continuing



## Claire234 (Mar 8, 2015)

We are married for over 2 years. Our relationship is getting ugly with each passing day. Every day is contributing. We have a daughter so it's not easy to break up. Here are somethings that bother me. Please comment if its worth getting a divorce or not. 

1) We are living with his parents. His parents treat me very bad. I have to ask them before doing just anything and everything. Includes eating, cooking, going to bedroom. They don't even let me drink anything apart from water. 

2) he spends ALL his time with his parents and NO time with me. His wish is to keep them happy and to spend his life with them. He does all the activities with them. Does not even think of including me or his daughter. 

3) he doesn't allow me to step out of the house. I can't go anywhere. Nowhere at all.

4) we don't have sex. Not at all. We had it hardly 5 times ever since we got married. He doesn't do other things either like kissing etc. he's suffering from erectile dysfunction.

5) he abuses all the time. Uses very bad words for me and in front of everyone. He says he can even hit me and no one can do anything. 

There are plenty other reason. But these 5 are the main ones. Please tell me are they enough to get a divorce? Will I regret anything if I get divorce? Will my daughter blame me for not having a dad when she needed one? 

Please answer!


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

#3 tells us you're basically his hostage, and not his wife. Yes, a legitimate reason to divorce.


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## T&T (Nov 16, 2012)

Yes, this isn't even close to a descent marriage...

He's also abusive.


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## Claire234 (Mar 8, 2015)

I'm scared of divorce. How will my daughter cope with it? And I don't want to be a single mum. This will be a very difficult situation for me. 

I can't live with him either. I'm very confused. I'm not strong enough to initiate the idea of divorce. I'm just not a strong person overall. Feel very depressed.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Claire234 said:


> I'm scared of divorce. How will my daughter cope with it? And I don't want to be a single mum. This will be a very difficult situation for me.
> 
> I can't live with him either. I'm very confused. I'm not strong enough to initiate the idea of divorce. I'm just not a strong person overall. Feel very depressed.


Nobody wants to be a single mom . I actually think your situation sounds bad enough you should get yourself to a shelter as a first step and they can help you navigate a new life from there.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Claire,

What country do you live in? 




Claire234 said:


> We are married for over 2 years. Our relationship is getting ugly with each passing day. Every day is contributing. We have a daughter so it's not easy to break up. Here are somethings that bother me. Please comment if its worth getting a divorce or not.
> 
> 1) We are living with his parents. His parents treat me very bad. I have to ask them before doing just anything and everything. Includes eating, cooking, going to bedroom. They don't even let me drink anything apart from water.
> 
> ...


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## lancaster (Dec 2, 2013)

I know divorce is hard to think about. Trust me, I am struggling with the idea of it too. But, it sounds as though your safety and perhaps the safety of your daughter is at stake. With the comment your husband made about hitting it sounds as though he contemplating physical violence against you.


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## Claire234 (Mar 8, 2015)

I live in UK. Yes I'm thinking about it quite seriously now. My concern is that I'm only 20. I don't know how I'll handle divorce with a daughter. It's a very hard and important decision for me to make. Once made, I can't reverse it, ever! 

How important is sex in marriage? My marriage is 100% sexless. Is that something I can overlook?


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Claire234 said:


> I live in UK. Yes I'm thinking about it quite seriously now. My concern is that I'm only 20. I don't know how I'll handle divorce with a daughter. It's a very hard and important decision for me to make. Once made, I can't reverse it, ever!
> 
> How important is sex in marriage? My marriage is 100% sexless. Is that something I can overlook?


At age 20??!! No! How old is your husband? What nationality are the two of you? (i.e. is it a cultural thing to live with his parents) What reasons are given for being so "strict" with you? Are you disabled in some way?


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## Claire234 (Mar 8, 2015)

No I'm not disabled in any way. Arranged marriages are common in our culture. Couples get to know each other and meet each other properly after getting married. He's 27. I expect him to act mature but he doesn't. It disappoints me. He's 27 after all. 

It's cultural to live with parents but all these restrictions are not cultural. They are very abnormal. I have never come across a like this before.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Claire234 said:


> I live in UK. Yes I'm thinking about it quite seriously now. My concern is that I'm only 20. I don't know how I'll handle divorce with a daughter. It's a very hard and important decision for me to make. Once made, I can't reverse it, ever!
> 
> How important is sex in marriage? My marriage is 100% sexless. Is that something I can overlook?


Are you from some culture like Indian or Pakistani where the cultural norm is for the wife to live with the husband's family?

This is a very bad situation for your daughter. Is this the life you want her to learn is normal? Leaving this situation will help your daughter. Sometimes divorce is better.

You live in the UK. There are organizations there that help women in abusive situations. You need to find one of them in your local area. They will help you get on your own two feet.

Where is your family? Do they know what is going on? Can you talk to them?


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Claire: That is no marriage you're in! Sounds as if you are some kind of an indentured servant ~ marriage is most certainly not meant to be like that!

Get yourself to a barrister's office ASAP! You deserve far better out of life! There is a respectful young man out there that would totally love you for who you truly are!*


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