# no sex no sex none at all



## camperman (Apr 10, 2012)

I am new here. I have been married for a year and half and have a 9 month old. That is probably the answer to all my flustratoins I am 28 amd in my sexual prime my wife is drop dead gorgeous and turns me on to no end. That being said i am not getting laid at all. We got engaged "no sex i want to feel pure" ok so got the weekly bj then she was preggo right after honey moon didn't fell like sex and no bj now kid and no time for me. I hate posting long paragraphs but oops. I don't know what to do but i am starting to think keep a woman on just for sex. not really but come on. A BJ friom time to time wouldn't hurt right? with all the men that step out on their wives why won't they bend over backwards to make us happy like we do them.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

Yup I can relate. 

They get married and they just cut you off.

Reason being of course is that they were never really into you sexually they just saw you as a breadwinner and babymaker.

It's not going to get better. 

Too bad you have a kid so fast, no time to enjoy the good life. 

Hopefully you will enjoy being a dad.


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## LadyFrog (Feb 27, 2012)

camperman said:


> I am new here. I have been married for a year and half and have a 9 month old. That is probably the answer to all my flustratoins I am 28 amd in my sexual prime my wife is drop dead gorgeous and turns me on to no end. That being said i am not getting laid at all. We got engaged "no sex i want to feel pure" ok so got the weekly bj then she was preggo right after honey moon didn't fell like sex and no bj now kid and no time for me. I hate posting long paragraphs but oops. I don't know what to do but i am starting to think keep a woman on just for sex. not really but come on. A BJ friom time to time wouldn't hurt right? with all the men that step out on their wives why won't they bend over backwards to make us happy like we do them.



Well, if you hang around TAM you will discover many women on here who are outraged by wives who do this to good husbands.

Having a child is not a viable excuse for women to use to avoid sex.

Have you told her that you find her drop dead gorgeous and she turns you on like crazy and that no sex is hurting/frustrating you, making you miserable?


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## LadyFrog (Feb 27, 2012)

lenzi said:


> Yup I can relate.
> 
> They get married and they just cut you off.
> 
> ...



Not all women, but far too many.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

If it's your woman it doesn't matter if it's all, many, some or few. 

Seriously what's the point of being married if there's no intimacy.


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## camperman (Apr 10, 2012)

i have said how flustrated i am and so forth and so on my feelings are clear and needs are not being meet. I never understood the "mistress" before now your heart belongs to one and penis to another


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## LadyFrog (Feb 27, 2012)

lenzi said:


> If it's your woman it doesn't matter if it's all, many, some or few.
> 
> Seriously what's the point of being married if there's no intimacy.



I disagree with you. It matters a great deal.

Men who are in sexless marriages that aren't going to get any better have a choice. They can leave.

Yes, divorce s*cks, and yes there are issues like money and children, ect, but there is always the option of a man in this situation finding himself a woman who won't pull what I consider to be a very cruel stunt.

I can't answer your last question. I personally wouldn't stay in a marriage without it.


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## LadyFrog (Feb 27, 2012)

camperman said:


> i have said how flustrated i am and so forth and so on my feelings are clear and needs are not being meet. I never understood the "mistress" before now your heart belongs to one and penis to another



So she dismisses your needs and feelings and brushes them off. You are going to get a lot of good advice from posters on here who are/have been in your situation.

I'm sorry you're going through this.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> I disagree with you. It matters a great deal.


Of course it matters.

My post totally went over your head.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

lenzi said:


> Of course it matters.
> 
> My post totally went over your head.


I think you're both missing each other's points, perhaps... One of you is saying it doesn't matter if everyone else is putting out, if your spouse isn't. Because you're not married to "everyone else"...

And the other one is saying that it DOES matter, because if you get rid of the frigid one, you can find someone who IS compatible with your sex drive. I found this at 44, when I met my 43 year old GF. Granted, we've only been seeing each other for a year, but the sex is so far beyond even the peak years when I was married it should be called something other than "sex". So even at a relatively advanced walker wielding age, it's possible to have a good sex life. If you're willing to make the change.

So what I'm saying is you're both right... 

C


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

Yes thats what I was saying.


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## LadyFrog (Feb 27, 2012)

lenzi said:


> Of course it matters.
> 
> My post totally went over your head.



I apologize to you for the way it sounded...I should have said "I think" it matters a great deal.

And as far as "My post totally went over your head" I certainly hope you weren't intending to be condescending.

I'm not stupid and I don't like the way it comes across.


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## LadyFrog (Feb 27, 2012)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> I apologize to you for the way it sounded...I should have said "I think" it matters a great deal.
> 
> And as far as "My post totally went over your head" I certainly hope you weren't intending to be condescending.
> 
> I'm not stupid and I don't like the way it comes across.


Edited to say thanks PBear, you diplomat. lol


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> I apologize to you for the way it sounded...I should have said "I think" it matters a great deal.
> 
> And as far as "My post totally went over your head" I certainly hope you weren't intending to be condescending.
> 
> I'm not stupid and I don't like the way it comes across.


I was intending to point out that you completely misunderstood my post in that I was saying it does matter when it's your own spouse that is not giving you the sex. 

You implied that I implied that it doesn't matter and I implied no such thing.

It's not a question of your intelligence I offer no opinion to your IQ one way or another although I suspect you skim read other's posts which leads to you making such errors. 

No harm no foul


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## LadyFrog (Feb 27, 2012)

lenzi said:


> I was intending to point out that you completely misunderstood my post in that I was saying it does matter when it's your own spouse that is not giving you the sex.
> 
> You implied that I implied that it doesn't matter and I implied no such thing.
> 
> ...



I understand what you were intending to point out. Speaking of intentions, I think you meant it to be condescending. 

You suspect incorrectly.


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## rundown (Mar 21, 2012)

camperman said:


> I am new here. I have been married for a year and half and have a 9 month old. That is probably the answer to all my flustratoins I am 28 amd in my sexual prime my wife is drop dead gorgeous and turns me on to no end. That being said i am not getting laid at all. We got engaged "no sex i want to feel pure" ok so got the weekly bj then she was preggo right after honey moon didn't fell like sex and no bj now kid and no time for me. I hate posting long paragraphs but oops. I don't know what to do but i am starting to think keep a woman on just for sex. not really but come on. A BJ friom time to time wouldn't hurt right? with all the men that step out on their wives why won't they bend over backwards to make us happy like we do them.



The first thing you need to do is take a look at yourself. Do you show her that you love her? Would she say that you do? Do you help her with the baby, give her time away, let her sleep through the night? Do you help her out around the house on her bad days? Do you do nice things because you love her or because you think it will get you laid? If you do them because you love her does she see it that way? Do you piss and moan that you don't get it enough? Do you beg? Do you whine? Be honest with yourself with all of these, sometimes it is pretty hard to see where we are lacking.

Have you asked her what is wrong? If not you should if so what does she say? Does she seem depressed?


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Camperman,

as others have said, this won't get better by itself. You need to tell your wife that you will not spend the rest of your life in a relatively sexless marriage.

Offer to take her to a Dr to rule out low T levels or other such physical ailments. Is she on any birth control or anti-depressants? These are know to lower the libido

Offer to go to joint counseling with her too. Maybe she has issues with you you don't realize. 

Last but not least, do not have any more children with her until you resolve this one way or the other! Don't fall for the "this will get better when the kid is a little older" and then BAM! Another on comes along! Before you know it you're 50 years old wondering why you only get layed a couple of times a month. By then, it's too late......Sorry! Got a little sidetracked there


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I was a little bit like your wife, but I always loved sex, best feeling God even bestowed upon his creation. But yet.. when I was younger, I just didn't think about it ! Same scenerio with us, we waited till marriage, then I was pregnant 2 months later. My husband was not the aggressive type, he didn't push himself on me, or try to seduce me at every turn.

Looking back, I really think he should have done this... He was more of a nice guy who waited till he had some visual sign from me -that I wanted it too. 

I feel who ever has the HIGHER SEX drive needs to get CREATIVE in turning the other on. 

If she is breastfeeding, this will lower her drive, The hormone Prolactin will do this. 

If you are thinking about a mistress, if it is that bad, she has a right a know this, this ought to fire her jets, one thing I know is this... women do NOT understand how men are feeling in this... they do not have the Testosterone you have (you have 10 times more than her, this is your lust hormone)....women can not relate to this... we don't feel it like you.......she needs to understand, if you can't explain it well enough to her, she needs to read something and educate herself about male sexuality. 

If I knew THEN what I KNOW now, I would have never never never allowed my husband to suffer in this way... we only had sex about once a week (he was not vocal about his needs at all -different situation entirely)... but yet, he wanted so much more. 

I was a stupid woman back then. She can not relate to these urges you have. Just understand that, if she could, she would be chasing you down!


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