# I'm trying to let my hubby have what he wants.



## NOT SURE (Dec 19, 2010)

I have been married for 9 years. When I had my son things changed dramatically. My hubby quit his job and took a 2 year vacation. His parents fit the bill on everything. Now that I'm back to myself and tell him that he needs to work 40 hrs a week. He says I do not support him...I'm tired of living off of his parents. I wouldn't of married him if I had known this would happen. I wasn't raised with rich parents like his I was raised to work for whatever I wanted he says he was too. I have lost so much respect for him it is not even funny. I love my in laws, but enough is enough. I want to call them and tell them to stop paying our bills. He works, but it isn't 40 hrs. I have been trying to get a job with nothing yet. I'm not sure what to do?? What do I do??


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## madimoff (Feb 17, 2010)

What's behind the title you chose for your thread? That doesn't seem to be part of your first post.


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## NOT SURE (Dec 19, 2010)

madimoff said:


> What's behind the title you chose for your thread? That doesn't seem to be part of your first post.


I'm just not sure of what to do...that is what it means.


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## NOT SURE (Dec 19, 2010)

I'm new to this so please forgive my shortcomings...I have put up with his parents paying for everything and now that I'm back to life I'm tired of it. Why is ok for him not to be like every other American and get a job? He is fully capable of a job. HE had one the first 7 years we were married. Working at SWB a very good job....we had healthcare and now we have nothing. He wants to work for his friend and make his own hours. So in a sense he wants to work for himself....I feel he needs to look out for his family before a lousy job. I told him I would give it a year and bc of my shortcomings(I do not remember well) So everything will be written down. I'm told him I wanted him to pay our bills NOT his parents. He is supposed to work 40 hrs not what he has been 30..I'm just wanting to make sure what I'm doing is right. I feel super let down and confused....so any advice would be great..


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

do you have a job?




NOT SURE said:


> I'm new to this so please forgive my shortcomings...I have put up with his parents paying for everything and now that I'm back to life I'm tired of it. Why is ok for him not to be like every other American and get a job? He is fully capable of a job. HE had one the first 7 years we were married. Working at SWB a very good job....we had healthcare and now we have nothing. He wants to work for his friend and make his own hours. So in a sense he wants to work for himself....I feel he needs to look out for his family before a lousy job. I told him I would give it a year and bc of my shortcomings(I do not remember well) So everything will be written down. I'm told him I wanted him to pay our bills NOT his parents. He is supposed to work 40 hrs not what he has been 30..I'm just wanting to make sure what I'm doing is right. I feel super let down and confused....so any advice would be great..


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## NOT SURE (Dec 19, 2010)

No I have tried to find one, I have applied almost everywhere....


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## credamdóchasgra (Sep 24, 2010)

madimoff said:


> What's behind the title you chose for your thread? That doesn't seem to be part of your first post.


I think what M meant was, what is it that your husband wants?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NOT SURE (Dec 19, 2010)

credamdóchasgra said:


> I think what M meant was, what is it that your husband wants?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Ok Thank you!! He wants to work for himself and I'm giving it a chance, but i'm just not sure what to do or say. For example the working 40 hrs he says he can make it up by working on cars at the hse. I feel bad for his parents for paying all the bills. I didn't grow up with a lot of money so it is somewhat new to me. He is perfectly capable of making money. He has in the past and supported us just fine. I don't know what to say to the working on cars to make up for the ten hours. I'm lost!!


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## Mike188 (Dec 29, 2009)

What kind of work is he doing now?


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## AgentD (Dec 27, 2010)

You seem to be hung up on 40 hours. Not ALL jobs are 40 hours. Some are less some are more. If he were to even get a job right now period, might be a good move. Some people take whatever they can during hard times. However if his parents are there to bail him out with paying bills etc, then they are making it harder for him to get a job. He is letting them.


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## snake (Aug 4, 2011)

maybe give him the support to open a family business with you.maybe a coffee shop or corner store or even landscaping.he does have family to back up a loan then u 2 can work together.seems a win win u and he work and you'll have the $ in your account and parents won't mind if thier baby fails see so what type of business you going to open?


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

If you can get by with one of you not having to be a slave to fulltime work, then why would you send him away all those hours? Instead of thinking he needs to work 40 like other americans, maybe just realize he needs to pull some weight, and for most I think not being a slave to their job would enable so many opportunities. Hopefully you can realize the golden opportunity you have - sure there may be some resentment and envy by others, but as long as your H can use his time to work towards goals you set together then don't get hung up about his career choices. He still needs to feel like a man though and that means providing in other ways.


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## omega (Aug 2, 2011)

Let me get this straight:

You do not have a job.

You criticize your husband for not having a job "like every other American."

Even if you're not American, can you work legally in the United States?


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## Cross (Aug 1, 2011)

I know it's tough to feel like a dependent, but you should look at the big picture and feel blessed you have this support structure.

I'd work on bettering yourself. Do you have education? Do you have any career training. I'd go that route first and leverage his parents and the fact he is home and can watch your son so you can find a job that gives you the self esteem you seem to be missing here.


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## Monty4321 (Jul 15, 2011)

omega said:


> Let me get this straight:
> 
> You do not have a job.
> 
> ...


Omega - you completely missed the point ... this flew over your head big time - c'mon seriously....you should try understanding her comment more before criticizing someone. Did you not see the part were she said that she has been trying to look for work and have been applying for jobs.

Maybe she thinks her husband is lazy and spoiled . To each his own. But I think everyone should know how to work for what they get. If I had 30 million in the bank, you better believe it - my kids will work regardless. You learn lessons from working and interacting with others. Hopefully responsibility is learned as well.

We don't know how much money they have. He could work and use that money to pay for his kids education. We don't know what kind of possible financial disasters could strike in the future. Eventually money through the generations can dry up. I would be pretty pissed if I learned that I had a great grandfather who was wealthy but now we don't have crap to show for it because of other family members blowing through it without adding to it because they never worked a day in their life.

Omega - what does working legally or illegally working in the US have to do with her comments? What she said sounded more like a figure of speech.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

:iagree: Old post but I can't believe some of the recent responces.

She had a child and her husband quit his job and lost his health care, because he wanted to have a 2 year vacation. Yep that's very attractive.

I would find that unforgivable. Now he has a part time job, doesn't earn much and doesn't have health care. That is irrresponsible. I wouldn't want to put up with that either.

The Op is looking for a job.

She also thinks, he should be looking for a better job with health care benefits and stop sponging off of his parents.

she is right.

She married a man and not a teenager I presume.


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## hehasmyheart (Mar 11, 2010)

Well, personally, I wish my husband's family could even compare to that. The flip side is...in-laws who wouldn't dream of helping out, even if we needed it. Be glad you married into a giving family & not a selfish greedy one. I do see your point that he shouldn't want to take advantage, but maybe he has a plan and just needs the extra help right now. If he's frivolously spending, I'd say there's a problem. If it's just a little extra help paying bills while he gets himself together, I'd say it's okay.


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## NOT SURE (Dec 19, 2010)

Yes, I can legally work in the us. I was a real estate agent before I had my son. I have a interview on the 11th of Sept. So we'll see how that goes.....


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## NOT SURE (Dec 19, 2010)

I have a job! It is temporary, but it is something!


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## 20yrs (Sep 18, 2009)

NOT SURE said:


> I have a job! It is temporary, but it is something!


All good things come to those who persevere.


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