# Advice please



## Kristina1 (Dec 4, 2009)

Hey everyone try and make this short. 

My husband works 4pm-12 and sleeps at his job 2 nights out of the week sometimes more if they ask him. So he will leave for work on a tuesday afternoon at 4 and sleep at work until sunday. He works about an hour away from our house.We just had a baby, who is now 2 months old. I would love any help I can get from my husband, and not only would I love help I would like him to spend time iwth his son. So i told him i think he should wake up arund 9am from his job and drive back home which means hed be home by 10am and leave to go back to work at 3pm he has the hole day to spend with our son and to help out as a father. 

He has 2 days off during the week but those 2 days that he is actually home he picks up his 3 yr old and has him over for those 2 days and does nothing but spend time with him and tend to all his needs.... not helping me out with our son. Also let me back track before I had the baby, he use to get his son everyday before he went to work at 4pm and on the days he slept at work he would drive back home to pick up his son and spend the day with. The only reason he doesnt get him everyday anymore, is because the mother of the child put him in school. So when I got mad at the fact he was staying at work and not coming home to see his son or help out... he said he doesnt want to waste gas if he doesnt have too. So he pretty much sleeps at work and sleeps the hole next day until his next shift. It reallly annoys me he doesnt come home to see his son or help out at all! I feel like a single mother.... am i overreacting or does this seem a bit messed up>


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## IamWoman (Mar 31, 2010)

No that does not sound right at all! Maybe he has some other reason. If this has not been going on very long nicely let him know that you love him and you miss him. See how that works out. I wouldn't try to force him to talk but defiantly try to see if there is some problem he is having that he is not talking about. If he feels defensive you will not get anywhere. And I just learned that when you want your guy to do something for you use the words would or will, never could. I don't know if that helps. Oh yeah and don't respond right away if you think he is going to say no. let him talk.

ie: Will you try to schedule one day a week to give me a little break from "baby name".

Just listen.. men sometimes will agree after they sound like they are disagreeing so be patient. Don't say a word; as hard as I know that is. In the process you may learn more about him.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Time to set some household rules.


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