# wondering when the hell karma will show up!



## FrustratedFL

Need to vent!!

My ex H and I were divorced on May 7th, 2014. After many affairs and lies - we separated, tried marriage counseling and ultimately called it quits.

He has not been the ideal husband or father. Abandoned wife and child, support checks are sometimes non existant, credit cards go unpaid. Our finances are a mess and I will now be forced to file bankruptcy to clear all the debt and remove my name off all our joint debt. 

Ex could give a rats a$$ how much debt he left behind or when child support is paid but meanwhile he is all over the place eating, posting fancy dinners and elaborate wine bottles drank, visiting luxury resorts with his mistress turned now sugar mama gf.

Perfect example - Saw a facebook photo last week of him and sugar mama celebrating their 1 yr "anniversary" at a steakhouse. _(how nice that we divorced 3 months ago_). 
Mutual friend of mine commented on photo so I saw it. Anyway, I text him and asked when he would send a child support check. Of course no answer. I text again and he replies; "How about ****ing never. It is hard to text and paint and I am at work so dont be a b*tch". I laughed since just seeing his picture tagged on facebook enjoying his steak. A$$hole still lying.

Few days later he went to a very nice beach resort for a few days and now is in Saratoga Springs for horseracing with sugar mama.

I talked to lawyer and child support about actions to get child support. I have filed the paperwork but of course the courts move at a snail pace.

I am just so angry/hurt that he gets to enjoy his life and not have an ounce of remorse for what he put us through. All the betrayal, lies and debt and lack of remorse and he seems to just always land on his feet and never miss a beat on a new bar opening. 

His mom 75 birthday is tomorrow and my daughter will go celebrate with cousins and family while daddy again just plans his own fun. 

When does karma plan on visiting...


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## unsure78

Sorry FL you know I feel your pain... Unfortunately the truth is though he may never get hit with the karma bus... my ex free loaded for a long time post D, still doesn't do or pay what he is supposed to... I used get really bent, but as the years go on ive realized for my sanity its been better to just focus on myself and my child... work towards fully supporting ourselves so that if I get CS once in a while its like a bonus... I know that may not be a feasable situation for you but its what has helped me cope with the unfairness of the situation. ..

Sorry that you are having to go thru it...oh and you ex is a total piece of crap
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Butterfly1014

Gosh Frustrated FL, I to am hoping karma comes to roost! I think you deserve her to visit you first. When child support starts getting garnished directly from his wages (which is what I would ask the court to do since he can't seem to pay you on his own) and a bankruptcy following him around. 
Maybe picture him getting a gut from his fancy free lifestyle, then he starts loosing his hair. While you hit the gym, if you can't afford a gym, walk, run exercise at home. Makes you feel better, look better and be better in the long run! 
Just vent all you need!


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## FrustratedFL

thanks unsure - I make a decent salary so I am fortunate to be able to maintain living expenses for my daughter and I. Just the extras and all the credit card debt, business loans and rental home expense is draining any kind of freedom in the near future. 

I guess the only silver lining in this pathetic situation is that I have a great relationship with my daughter. He failed as a father. I used to arrange nights that he would pick he up and take her to dinner or I would ask for help on rides (just for him to get to see her). Now I dont do anything. The court gave me sole custody since he never showed up for any court, signed any shared custody paperwork or showed interest in fighting for any time with DD14. 

It is up to him at this point and he has proven to be a selfish parent with his beloved time. Maybe karma will never come and he will live years at luxury vacations and such. But giving up your child is the worst scumbag thing to do in my eyes. 

I am glad to hear you managed to build up your life again and move on.


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## FrustratedFL

Butterfly - Ex is self employeed so they could not garnish wages. I tried everything possible in FL to get this done. 

ex is bald, has a gut BUT has a very easy going personality so wowen and men flock to him. However, as history proves - he is a liar, narcissst and mostly thinkss about himself. 

I don't miss him but am pretty upset he isnt seeing some harder times in his life after doing such awful things to his family.


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## 3Xnocharm

I think Karma is a b!tch because she never visits the right people!


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## bravenewworld

FrustratedFL said:


> Butterfly - Ex is self employeed so they could not garnish wages. I tried everything possible in FL to get this done.
> 
> ex is bald, has a gut BUT has a very easy going personality so wowen and men flock to him. However, as history proves - he is a liar, narcissst and mostly thinkss about himself.
> 
> I don't miss him but am pretty upset he isnt seeing some harder times in his life after doing such awful things to his family.


Keep your head high FL, you can look at yourself in the mirror every day and be PROUD of what you see and the person you are. 

Liars, narcissists, and general scumbags will never know what the above feels like, as they are always scrambling to present an attractive package for their hollow core.


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## bravenewworld

FrustratedFL said:


> Need to vent!!
> 
> 
> Perfect example - Saw a facebook photo last week of him and sugar mama celebrating their 1 yr "anniversary" at a steakhouse. _(how nice that we divorced 3 months ago_).
> 
> Few days later he went to a very nice beach resort for a few days and now is in Saratoga Springs for horseracing with sugar mama.


I've seen this happen before and I'm always like - aren't these women embarrassed? I would be so depressed if I had to pay for some guy's lifestyle just to keep him around.


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## Dollystanford

Block him from FB. Best thing I ever did. My ex has been through three girlfriends since we split (all soulmates until they, ummm, aren't) and acts like a teenager on FB. It's just much much easier if you can't see or read anything, it will just make you angry

He's the sad sack who needs someone to support his lifestyle and she's got to pay to keep a man around. :loser:


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## Pluto2

Keep all the records and photos somewhere safe. If you really do have to go through bankruptcy and he cries, poor, these will help convince the trustee that he is less than honest, which may well make the entire process easier on you.

And I completely agree with you on the karma that needs to roost on men who abandon their kids. Mine are going on ten months with no visits, and five months with no calls. I'd like to hope these jerks will feel the loss one day, but I'm not going to hold my breath.


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## Paradise

I really hate the entire idea of karma and think in the long run it only hurts you to wish for and wait for it. I just don't believe it exists. Plus, while you should be moving on and establishing a kick a$$ life of your own you are wasting energy on a POS ex who could care less. 

No matter what happens financially, this guy lost. Not fighting to see your kid is about the worst possible offense in my book. But...At least you don't have to worry about co-parenting, right? I mean, that is a real positive. I would be broke my entire life if I didn't have to co-parent with my ex and got to raise my daughter full time. 

Keep working on making plans for your financial future. I know debt takes a while to get out from under (I'm on year 3 right now and it is starting to really snowball for me), but make some plans and goals and stick with them. Eventually the debt will go away. 

Good luck, FrustratedFL.


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## Wolf1974

Paradise said:


> I really hate the entire idea of karma and think in the long run it only hurts you to wish for and *wait for it. * I just don't believe it exists. Plus, while you should be moving on and establishing a kick a$$ life of your own you are wasting energy on a POS ex who could care less.
> 
> No matter what happens financially, this guy lost. Not fighting to see your kid is about the worst possible offense in my book. But...At least you don't have to worry about co-parenting, right? I mean, that is a real positive. I would be broke my entire life if I didn't have to co-parent with my ex and got to raise my daughter full time.
> 
> Keep working on making plans for your financial future. I know debt takes a while to get out from under (I'm on year 3 right now and it is starting to really snowball for me), but make some plans and goals and stick with them. Eventually the debt will go away.
> 
> Good luck, FrustratedFL.


Agree exactly. Get a life together. Make a plan and start living. The best revenge is to live well and live on your own terms. Don't wait for karma. It will come in it's own time if ever.


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## FrustratedFL

I DO have my own life and routine with my daughter and it is pretty consistant. We do a lot of things together and she has many friends and activities that I volunteer for and help with car pools. Today I have 5 teenagers over swimming in pool after the high school football game last night/sleepover.

I try to keep my life full with activities. I have not started dating since that is the furthest thing from my mid at this point. I began going to the gym 4 times a week and am working on my own self with some classes for work. 

Eventually I will begin to date again but for now eould rather not.

Sugar mama will get tired of paying his way around town. It goes against human nature after a while to be the caretaker. 
Ex still lies all the time to me and probably to her so eventually she will find this out. Regardless, I dropped him from all my health benefits so he has no insurance, no dental and is already feeling it since he is on all kinds of meds. 

Trust me - your life changes alot when you have a mistress call you and inform you she is seeing your spouse for over a year. All your security, future plans and self worth is challenged to the core. 

I believe/hope karma will eventually catch up to people who do such wrong to loved ones.


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## Openminded

We might want it to happen but I've seen too many cases where it never does. Better to just completely detach -- other than communication about your daughter. Definitely from information about his social life. Indifference is your friend.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno

OP you can't compare apples and oranges.
It's not for any of us to say how someone else's life should be lived. It's sad for us when someone has agreed in principle to share a life with us and then breaks the agreement. 
However people are allowed to break agreements, or to have made them with no intention of honoring any terms of the agreement. 
Meanwhile, we have our own freedoms. We are free to monitor the life of others and to look for or hope for flaws in what looks false to us...hoping that it will fall apart so that our own reality or concept of it can be verified. We are also free to turn our gaze to our own life and to focus on our own enjoyments, which may include honoring agreements we have made, with others (children, loved ones) and more importantly with ourselves.


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## Thundarr

FrustratedFL said:


> Need to vent!!
> 
> My ex H and I were divorced on May 7th, 2014. After many affairs and lies - we separated, tried marriage counseling and ultimately called it quits.
> 
> He has not been the ideal husband or father. Abandoned wife and child, support checks are sometimes non existant, credit cards go unpaid. Our finances are a mess and I will now be forced to file bankruptcy to clear all the debt and remove my name off all our joint debt.
> 
> Ex could give a rats a$$ how much debt he left behind or when child support is paid but meanwhile he is all over the place eating, posting fancy dinners and elaborate wine bottles drank, visiting luxury resorts with his mistress turned now sugar mama gf.
> 
> Perfect example - Saw a facebook photo last week of him and sugar mama celebrating their 1 yr "anniversary" at a steakhouse. _(how nice that we divorced 3 months ago_).
> Mutual friend of mine commented on photo so I saw it. Anyway, I text him and asked when he would send a child support check. Of course no answer. I text again and he replies; "How about ****ing never. It is hard to text and paint and I am at work so dont be a b*tch". I laughed since just seeing his picture tagged on facebook enjoying his steak. A$$hole still lying.
> 
> Few days later he went to a very nice beach resort for a few days and now is in Saratoga Springs for horseracing with sugar mama.
> 
> I talked to lawyer and child support about actions to get child support. I have filed the paperwork but of course the courts move at a snail pace.
> 
> I am just so angry/hurt that he gets to enjoy his life and not have an ounce of remorse for what he put us through. All the betrayal, lies and debt and lack of remorse and he seems to just always land on his feet and never miss a beat on a new bar opening.
> 
> His mom 75 birthday is tomorrow and my daughter will go celebrate with cousins and family while daddy again just plans his own fun.
> 
> When does karma plan on visiting...


Karma is just a label for consequences that we think are deserved. A lot of the time the character traits that make cheating more likely are the same traits that have other consequences but not always.

In this case you're split from him and you're filing papers so he can't get out of paying support. That's about all you can do at the moment. Unfortunately you're the one getting karma. You said after many affairs and lies that you've split so I assume you're saying that he cheated on you many times. Well there are consequences for staying with someone through multiple affairs because the longer you stay with them, the more time and assets you have tied with them.

If you want him to get his karma then follow through on forced child support and don't let him fool you again. Also, if you can prove that he caused you to go into bankrupty then look into if a law suit is possible. I know it costs some money but it might be worth it both emotionally and financially.


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## FrustratedFL

Thundarr said:


> Unfortunately you're the one getting karma. You said after many affairs and lies that you've split so I assume you're saying that he cheated on you many times. Well there are consequences for staying with someone through multiple affairs because the longer you stay with them, the more time and assets you have tied with them.


Whether you believe in Karma or not - My ex lied about his affairs and I was blindsided by his tramp calling me. She also included some information indicating she was not the first. She was bitter since she was dumped and I believe her since she had nothing to loose. I separated from ex and after failed marriage counseling (ex started an affair with felon) - I filed for divorce.

Judegemental comments saying "there are consequences for staying with someone through multiple affairs because the longer you stay with them" is the FURTHEST from the truth.


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## Thundarr

FrustratedFL said:


> Whether you believe in Karma or not - My ex lied about his affairs and I was blindsided by his tramp calling me. She also included some information indicating she was not the first. She was bitter since she was dumped and I believe her since she had nothing to loose. I separated from ex and after failed marriage counseling (ex started an affair with felon) - I filed for divorce.
> 
> Judegemental comments saying "there are consequences for staying with someone through multiple affairs because the longer you stay with them" is the FURTHEST from the truth.


It sounds like he's continuing to make risky and unwise choices. I'm not saying things just to be mean or judgemental by the way.


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## Butterfly1014

FL- I think I may have married your XH twin! My STBXH choose to put his needs before the families all the time. He was selfish, had several affairs (I only wish I knew about more than just one) and spent money on drugs and alcohol that we didn't have. When he left I was so hurt, I am trying to figure out how to get myself out of this mess he left me in.
I really wish thier was karma, but so far, since the 2 months he has been gone, he admitted to an PA with his other children's mother (who is M)they are still together, he sold our boat and kept the money, is staying btw is moms and her house and doesn't pay support, ohh and he is self employed too and tells me I won't get anything from him. 
Thund-I really hope you are not right and karma is biting us in the a** bc we stayed and tried to make it work. I am picking up the pieces with my kids one which is his 5 ASD. It's hard but I read on someone thread, "I can Do This"


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## RandomDude

Meh, karma doesn't exist with idleness

If you can't let go, be the instrument of karma itself by seeking revenge


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## CantePe

*Re: Re: wondering when the hell karma will show up!*



RandomDude said:


> Meh, karma doesn't exist with idleness
> 
> If you can't let go, be the instrument of karma itself by seeking revenge


I thumbed up this but I want to say not for revenge reasons. Karma is a word, righting wrongs on principle and moral obligation is not karma or revenge. It is standing true.


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## EnjoliWoman

It can be frustrating and I'm glad to read that you are focusing on a lot of other things. I hope this is simply a momentary vent and that thoughts about him/his life are fleeting and that you aren't dwelling on this.

We can't wait for the cosmos to equalize everyone's life experiences. Sometimes life isn't fair. That's OK - we can only live our best lives and know that. Shift your focus to the positive. Look at what he's missing - a house full of laughter and splashy kids... I love it when my house is blaring with music, giggles, attempts at dance moves, etc. You have all of that.


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## SamuraiJack

Karma cannot be scheduled.
It can only be released.
As long as you hope for it to arrive it will not come.

But...give up caring and watch the bus pull in...


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## FrustratedFL

My post was a temporary vent and will continue to be temporary until the last of the obligations are met by ex.

Although I found TAM site very helpful during my divorce phases, I find the Life After Divorce section a bit frustrating and unrealistic. 

Once divorce is finalized, not many people I know are through with the legal and debt imposed by the end of the marriage. In my opinion, The LAD section is mainly geared towards clean cut divorce where people can just move on with life without much interaction or obligations from a former spouse. 

It is hard to completely move on emotionally from divorce when you have debt and legal matters that rely on an adultlike ex spouse to converse and work as a team to accomplish the final paperwork. Quit claim deeds, child support filings, credit card debt and closures.... etc. 

I DID NOT have the privilege of getting these wrapped up during the divorce since spouse:
did not have a lawyer, 
did not show up for mediation, 
is self employeed and not garnished weekly child support 

meanwhile I had to cut the costs down for my lawyer charging me a fortune to petition the court for every communication and response needed. 

We are in the home stretch now after getting finalized a few months ago and hopefully I will be able to move smoothly on from here. 

Since I cannot control karma, I will just need to move forward and look ahead


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## Paradise

FrustratedFL said:


> My post was a temporary vent and will continue to be temporary until the last of the obligations are met by ex.
> 
> Although I found TAM site very helpful during my divorce phases, I find the Life After Divorce section a bit frustrating and unrealistic.
> 
> Once divorce is finalized, not many people I know are through with the legal and debt imposed by the end of the marriage. In my opinion, The LAD section is mainly geared towards clean cut divorce where people can just move on with life without much interaction or obligations from a former spouse.
> 
> It is hard to completely move on emotionally from divorce when you have debt and legal matters that rely on an adultlike ex spouse to converse and work as a team to accomplish the final paperwork. Quit claim deeds, child support filings, credit card debt and closures.... etc.
> 
> I DID NOT have the privilege of getting these wrapped up during the divorce since spouse:
> did not have a lawyer,
> did not show up for mediation,
> is self employeed and not garnished weekly child support
> 
> meanwhile I had to cut the costs down for my lawyer charging me a fortune to petition the court for every communication and response needed.
> 
> We are in the home stretch now after getting finalized a few months ago and hopefully I will be able to move smoothly on from here.
> 
> Since I cannot control karma, I will just need to move forward and look ahead


Always good to vent as I've done this lots while feeling sorry for myself and LAD is an awesome place to be able to do just that. There are quite a few supportive people around here. Not sure what a "clean cut divorce" entails. I think most everyone that posts here went through their own version of he!!. Anyway, best of luck to you moving forward and looking ahead.


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## Chuck71

Hold yourself high, you are the better parent, which means a lot more 

than who has the wealthiest new flame. He knows she can make

$15 million year and it does nothing to change paying CS. His karma

bus will come, I promise. It has never missed someone that I have

known, on either end of a D, leaver or leave. His true karma bus may

be when his children tell him to "f' off" when they are old enough to

think on their own about visitation. If you don't think that will

rip his gut open....I have some resort property in Barrow, AK I want you to see.


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## HeartbrokenW

I agree with Dolly..block him. I have a teenage daughter who is still friends on FB with her dad (as she should be).. but even though I unfriended him, I still saw messages whenever she was tagged. Now that I've blocked him, I see NOTHING. And it has helped me heal immensely. Its been about a year and half since my divorce was final, and I'm doing ok. Just didn't need the constant (unintended) jabs from my exWAH.


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## movealong

HeartbrokenW said:


> I agree with Dolly..block him. I have a teenage daughter who is still friends on FB with her dad (as she should be).. but even though I unfriended him, I still saw messages whenever she was tagged. Now that I've blocked him, I see NOTHING. And it has helped me heal immensely. Its been about a year and half since my divorce was final, and I'm doing ok. Just didn't need the constant (unintended) jabs from my exWAH.


Same here. Blocked her and never felt a twinge of regret for doing so.


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## whitehawk

I've thought so much about karma through all this. I know, no good for me. Ex use to be such a good person but , l don't know , then she turns round and did this , after everything we'd been through and been to each other..
Truth is , I deserved a good kick in the ass by ex b4 she was ex, admittedly I went of the rails but, l had done so much and l was under heaps of stress . And ex just wasn't lifting a finger with us anymore either and just let herself go,But marriage isn't about quitting and neither is having kids and I still feel to just say nothing, instead destroy the family is so so wrong. Especially hooking up with someone else while your at it. 
You at least talk and work on things first, give it a chance, you don't just pretend everythings great and then just walk out with someone else. 
So for that , yep l admit, l felt some karma was due.

But l don't know what we have. Ex is still with om , seems to be on some here there p/t type sitch as she's mostly home now with my d , even often wk/ends when l have d. But she does disappear on wk/ends away now and then. So l dunno what their thing is.
She looks like [email protected] ,l hardly recognize her. l look better that l have in years.
Doing things the way she did she moved out in a hurry to and took the first rental that came up. lt's quite cute but small , [email protected] town, ok for a mum and daughter but it doesn't have much and is 50bucks a wk dearer than the one l've moved into, that has sea views and is equipped with the works. My d absolutely loves it and if all that's karma then l like the stuff :rofl:.
She never seems very happy , she's always grumpy, there's always something wrong with her.
Strangely enough , l have a much happier disposition than she does these days. lt just seems to be that way.
This om is the strangest looking fk l've ever seen. Apparently he was gently , nice , but eh , he's a one weird looking bastard so he'd wanna be something.
l'm seeing someone to now but it is really, early days so who knows what's in store for mt life ;guess !

So , l don't know what's karma in all that or what's what actually .


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## whitehawk

Paradise said:


> Always good to vent as I've done this lots while feeling sorry for myself and LAD is an awesome place to be able to do just that. There are quite a few supportive people around here. Not sure what a "clean cut divorce" entails. I think most everyone that posts here went through their own version of he!!. Anyway, best of luck to you moving forward and looking ahead.


Yep nothing clean cut about mine either , it's been hell and so has life. And it still is with a looonngg way to go. And then there's my gorgeous d who will have to spend the rest of her childhood living like this . But , l'm trying to use what good of it has come our way , see what happens l spose .


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## brokenbythis

FrustratedFL said:


> Butterfly - Ex is self employeed so they could not garnish wages. I tried everything possible in FL to get this done.
> 
> *ex is bald, has a gut BUT has a very easy going personality so wowen *and *men flock to him*. *However, as history proves - he is a liar, narcissst and mostly thinkss about himself*.
> 
> I don't miss him but am pretty upset he isnt seeing some harder times in his life after doing such awful things to his family.


Hang on... you talking about my ex-husband? :rofl::rofl:


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## brokenbythis

Butterfly1014 said:


> FL- I think I may have married your XH twin! My STBXH choose to put his needs before the families all the time. He was selfish, had several affairs (I only wish I knew about more than just one) and spent money on drugs and alcohol that we didn't have. When he left I was so hurt, I am trying to figure out how to get myself out of this mess he left me in.
> I really wish thier was karma, but so far, since the 2 months he has been gone, he admitted to an PA with his other children's mother (who is M)they are still together, he sold our boat and kept the money, is staying btw is moms and her house and doesn't pay support, ohh and he is self employed too and tells me I won't get anything from him.
> Thund-I really hope you are not right and karma is biting us in the a** bc we stayed and tried to make it work. *I am picking up the pieces with my kids one which is his 5 ASD. It's hard but I read on someone thread, "I can Do This*"


You can! If I can, you can. My POS ex-h abandoned my ASD son (and me) for a series of emotionally unstable skanks, one of whom he got pregnant, and he feels no remorse, still blames ME, and doesn't have a clue of the damage and turmoil he's put our son through. I have no family in this country, no support, only a handful of my own friends (all married) - all our mutual friends haven't spoken a word to me since I kicked his cheating azz out (I can only imagine what lies he told them to make them side with him), I went back to work when I kicked him out and my career is on the up and up but is demanding. I also went back to school. I juggle all of this, plus raising our ASD son 6 days and nights a week and yes I am tired, sometimes I have a cry, sometimes I feel like a hamster on a wheel, BUT I'm doing it and 90% of the time I'm feeling ok.

The Karma bus will hit them one day, believe me. It's already run over my ex, then backed up for a second try. Baby mama skank got a big fat child support order, and I get basically the rest. I also got 50% of his substantial retirement, and a load of cash and NO DEBTS. He's buried up to his eyeballs in CC debts and student loans (he acquired before we were married), he pays most of his salary to me, then baby mama is 2nd in line, and I continually hear him whine about how broke he is, and he can't even afford to pay rent on his crapbox apartment and how EVERYONE IS TAKING EVERYTHING HE HAS FROM HIM. Can you believe that ****e?

Guess he should have thought about consequences before he lied and cheated on me for YEARS then ran off with a crazy young thing 15 yrs my junior, who just wanted a gravy train baby daddy to support her. Selfish, immature, stupid idiot.


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## Paradise

whitehawk said:


> Yep nothing clean cut about mine either , it's been hell and so has life. And it still is with a looonngg way to go. And then there's my gorgeous d who will have to spend the rest of her childhood living like this . But , l'm trying to use what good of it has come our way , see what happens l spose .


Whitehawk, I have a little girl as well. True, it sucks that she has to go through this and I can see it sometimes that tiny glimpse of sadness in her eyes that she's "different" somehow because her parents aren't together but we do the best we can. I can honestly say that I'm a MUCH better father after divorce than I was before because I had to step up to the plate and raise my little girl half the time on my own. Not that I wasn't a good dad before but it is much different now.


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## commonsenseisn't

Karma does exist. Just because it does not manifest itself on your terms or timetable does not mean it's nonexistent. Not only does it exist, it is inevitable and absolute and it will reward each of us according to our works and desires. 

I know this beyond a shadow of a doubt. This concept would have to devolve into a theological discussion to further explore it and I'm not about to go there. Suffice it to say that I've had some extraordinary experiences that compel me to believe thus. They are too personal to share here. I'm not a religious nut, or a cosmic belief weirdo either. I worship at the alter of common sense. Just something to ponder.


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## HeartbrokenW

How Karma played a role in my life:

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-through-divorce-separation/62918-3-months-later.html


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## whitehawk

Sometimes l think at least some karma has been hitting ex since day one.
Her jobs gone to [email protected] , her healths gone to [email protected] , hell even her looks have gone to [email protected] It's probably been the hardest and most exhausting 2yrs of her life almost and she spends far more time alone now than she ever did when we were married.
l know that does actually sound like karma but the thing about all that is , she was already very run down before we split. Her health was bad , she left with no money and om had no money. So it's just gonna be pretty effed anyway isn't it so karma, don't know.

But she does get to pack the car with someone and take of for the wk end sometimes now, while her families been destroyed .
l really just can't get my head around how an ex could even enjoy a wkend away at that price , just don't get it.


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## IcePrincess28

Understand- a bald narcissistic man with a gut- as a sugar baby- no matter how outgoing and fun he is- is an ACQUIRED taste. 

If such a man were my sugar baby- he better mind his P's and Q's! One step out of line- and into the dog house he goes. <crack the whip!!!> Too many timeouts, and he will be kicked to the curb. Where will he go? Bankruptcy, bad credit? He better be a good boy. There would only be room for one narcissist in that arrangement- and that would be me. 

You say he is self employed? With the details you've given- he does not sound like he may have good work ethic. So with the sugar mama gf and all- all that does not exactly encourage the behavior of financial independence. And work may be suffering or lacking. 

Your EH has made his own bed- and must now lie in it. A narcissistic liar such as that- will not evoke the good graces of any woman- and especially not one with the mentality of a sugar mama. She will keep him in check- and make him dance to her tunes. After all- she is paying for it. 

He is not going to post his woes on FB. He will flaunt his steak and vacation. Not his doghouse bed and collar.


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## Chuck71

whitehawk said:


> Sometimes l think at least some karma has been hitting ex since day one.
> Her jobs gone to [email protected] , her healths gone to [email protected] , hell even her looks have gone to [email protected] It's probably been the hardest and most exhausting 2yrs of her life almost and she spends far more time alone now than she ever did when we were married.
> 
> But she does get to pack the car with someone and take of for the wk end sometimes now, while her families been destroyed .
> l really just can't get my head around how an ex could even enjoy a wkend away at that price , just don't get it.


keep in mind when others re-write history

they do so to write their own ending


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## Chuck71

IcePrincess28 said:


> Understand- a bald narcissistic man with a gut- as a sugar baby- no matter how outgoing and fun he is- is an ACQUIRED taste.
> 
> If such a man were my sugar baby- he better mind his P's and Q's! One step out of line- and into the dog house he goes. <crack the whip!!!> Too many timeouts, and he will be kicked to the curb. Where will he go? Bankruptcy, bad credit? He better be a good boy. There would only be room for one narcissist in that arrangement- and that would be me.
> 
> You say he is self employed? With the details you've given- he does not sound like he may have good work ethic. So with the sugar mama gf and all- all that does not exactly encourage the behavior of financial independence. And work may be suffering or lacking.
> 
> Your EH has made his own bed- and must now lie in it. A narcissistic liar such as that- will not evoke the good graces of any woman- and especially not one with the mentality of a sugar mama. She will keep him in check- and make him dance to her tunes. After all- she is paying for it.
> 
> He is not going to post his woes on FB. He will flaunt his steak and vacation. Not his doghouse bed and collar.


keep man in doghouse, soon he end up in cathouse


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## IcePrincess28

Chuck71 said:


> keep man in doghouse, soon he end up in cathouse


^^Agree^^

If I ever would've become someone's sugar mama- I think I would've lost all self respect for myself by then. Constantly keeping someone in the doghouse would be the least of my character flaws.


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## whitehawk

Paradise said:


> Whitehawk, I have a little girl as well. True, it sucks that she has to go through this and I can see it sometimes that tiny glimpse of sadness in her eyes that she's "different" somehow because her parents aren't together but we do the best we can. I can honestly say that I'm a MUCH better father after divorce than I was before because I had to step up to the plate and raise my little girl half the time on my own. Not that I wasn't a good dad before but it is much different now.


Yeah we can be damn proud of ourselves P. l always secretly hope for some better thing, life or something , comes out of all this for my d you know . They have got a much better dad now and they get heaps one on one of time with him and fun , talk ,times ,least that's something.


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## whitehawk

l use to believe that if you've done the right thing in life , life will reward you . lt might take time to show up but it will in the end. Not like you have to live like saint or anything but in just that deep down do the right thing and walk onward and upward from the bad things that happen or people or decisions.

Dunno these days , if that really happens, still waiting :rofl:.
But l am trying my best with what's been dealt and l must admit to , l do try not to wish nasties on ex . lf she wound up being rewarded with the high life though , that would really piss me off :rofl:


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## Thundarr

IcePrincess28 said:


> Understand- a bald narcissistic man with a gut- as a sugar baby- no matter how outgoing and fun he is- is an ACQUIRED taste.
> 
> If such a man were my sugar baby- he better mind his P's and Q's! One step out of line- and into the dog house he goes. <crack the whip!!!> Too many timeouts, and he will be kicked to the curb. Where will he go? Bankruptcy, bad credit? He better be a good boy. There would only be room for one narcissist in that arrangement- and that would be me.
> 
> You say he is self employed? With the details you've given- he does not sound like he may have good work ethic. So with the sugar mama gf and all- all that does not exactly encourage the behavior of financial independence. And work may be suffering or lacking.
> 
> Your EH has made his own bed- and must now lie in it. A narcissistic liar such as that- will not evoke the good graces of any woman- and especially not one with the mentality of a sugar mama. She will keep him in check- and make him dance to her tunes. After all- she is paying for it.
> 
> He is not going to post his woes on FB. He will flaunt his steak and vacation. Not his doghouse bed and collar.


No kidding. The loudest facebookers I see are the ones trying to project an alternate reality. I'm speaking of the ones I know in the real world anyway. On FB, they are AWESOME though.


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