# I am afraid I will go 'wild'



## Bartimaus (Oct 15, 2011)

I am going through something and I don't understand it and am somewhat worried about it.
Divorce court hearing is in two days. I have been by myself and alone almost all day long everyday since early October of this year. My grown son is living here but is gone almost all the time and when he is here he doesn't like to talk to me because I get on the topic of his mother leaving me and how that she has done wrong.
Guys I know this sounds pathetic for a man to be saying these things but I am insanely lonesome and having trouble coping. I have started to do karaoke again because I love to sing and it is my calling and my gift to the world. (Started to say to a bunch of loser drunks,hehehe but I won't say that,it wouldn't be true anyways,ok,lol).
I am usually a pretty good hit at singing where ever I go and get womens attention. I am also interested in making friends with some of the women in my support group. I have a profile already setup on a dating website and plan on making it public the day of the divorce. 
I am concerned about myself feeling these things. I don't want to hurt my ex and don't want to hurt my children but I feel like a race horse at the gate chomping at the bit and wanting to go full speed to find someone to care about me and to talk to.
I feel like I may be going wild, don't know how else to explain it.
I am 57 so I don't think it's anything like mid-life stuff but I don't know what to think of myself. It also makes me wonder if once the ex gets word of it that she too will go wild. This would hurt our children alot I fear and I don't want that.
Should I be concerned? I just need someone to care about me because the soon to be ex has broke my heart and made me feel like the loneliest and most unloved man on earth.


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

You have a shedload going on right at this moment mate, do not beat yourself up for having thoughts zipping around your head at 100mph.
Let the future stuff take care of itself for now. You got a big day Monday.
Let's just get that out of the way first.
Then go hit the mic.
DJ Bart in da house. Everyone say yooooooooooooooooo!


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## Numb in Ohio (Oct 31, 2011)

You will be fine, just enjoy "companionship" .... finding someone or "people" to go out and enjoy dinner ,, movie ,, "karoake" and conversation with is fine and things you will need. Just enjoy finding "yourself". 

Things usually happen when you least expect it and aren't "looking" for it. You sound like a great guy so I don't think you will have trouble finding nice women to spend time with.


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## cb45 (Oct 2, 2009)

Numb in Ohio said:


> You will be fine, just enjoy "companionship" .... finding someone or "people" to go out and enjoy dinner ,, movie ,, "karoake" and conversation with is fine and things you will need. Just enjoy finding "yourself".
> 
> Things usually happen when you least expect it and aren't "looking" for it. You sound like a great guy so I don't think you will have trouble finding nice women to spend time with.


U probably know this much but i'll add to the above post with something like:

dont go out too fast looking for love as u'll probably break 
someone elses heart, or maybe even add to the "ache" in/of
yer own. take time to learn, grow, enjoy, but most of all "heal" from yer recent wounds. the world will thank you for it, as it'll seem a better place methinks.

just my .02


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## Bartimaus (Oct 15, 2011)

cb45 said:


> U probably know this much but i'll add to the above post with something like:
> 
> dont go out too fast looking for love as u'll probably break
> someone elses heart, or maybe even add to the "ache" in/of
> ...


Thanks cb45 I always appreciate your comments. It has crossed my mind a few times as to what I might do should I find someone that I like alot and that is very compatible. Maybe I should draw back fast if I meet someone like this so as to not get attached and to not hurt her too. I really have no intentions of looking for love right now. I feel I need a healing or recuperating time. But I don't like the dating scene really and have no desire at all for a 'friend with benefits',that would make me feel cheap I feel. I guess I will try to find women friends that I don't consider 'marriage material' to try to be only platonic friends with. But oh,oh my how my heart gets sooo lonely sometimes. I feel like a love craving little puppy,lol, after what I have went through. It's confusing to need and yet not want. And I am the type to fall fast and hard...lol....so maybe I might just run an ad that says, ' WANTED- WEIGHT CHALLENGED STINKY GIRL WITH ROTTEN TEETH THAT LIKES TO LAUGH AND HAVE FUN BUT IS WILLING TO PUNCH MY LIGHTS IF I GET TOO FRIENDLY' :rofl: Sorry,feeling silly today,lol.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Keep singing. It's a great outlet.

If you posted that ad, and I was single, I'd for sure reply LOL:smthumbup:


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

Sounds like wanting comfort and companionship. Want to be loved, that's all. Join the club it's planet wide.

I think you're absolutely normal but tread carefully my friend, watch rebounds and concentrate on healing, learning, forgiving and moving on.


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## Blindasabat (Nov 29, 2011)

Ya know the first time I was divorced I was eager to date and find someone that would " love me and be worthy of my love" well I dated a lot but I was single for three years before meeting my wife and that worked out so well--NOT! That I'm not even thinking about it right now. I know if it happens this time I've got to work a lot on me first and really let God make it happen and be equally yoked this time!! I meet a lot of attractive women in my work and its easy for me to converse with them but as far as another wife I'm not in the market.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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