# Individuals definition of Pornography and Boundaries



## hubby (Aug 10, 2009)

I am curious as to what are your own definitions of Pornography...where do you draw the line between romantic/fantasy love making and pornography:

Does your definition of pornography include:
-romantic or erotic novels
-mature love scenes without nudity (e.g. unfaithful)
-scenes with light nudity (e.g. boobs, butt)
-scenes with heavier nudity (e.g. cinemax late night)
-scenes with full frontal but no penetration
-scenes with penetration but vanilla sex
-scenes with penetration non vanilla (kinky, fetish, bdsm, etc)

Also, where do you personally draw the line for yourself and/or your spouse? It could be at some progression of sexuality listed above, it could be frequency of use, or ultimately the point where it is an addiction and/or replaces real life sex with your partner.

For me, I would define pornography as any graphical depiction of sexual activity. That would be your typical graphic novel and flics with penetration (vanilla or otherwise). I personally do not have any boundaries or would place any boundaries on my wife. Well, I do have boundaries when it comes to child pornography or any real non-consensual violence/sex.


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## hubby (Aug 10, 2009)

Star said:


> I think that there is a very clear line from romantic love making to porn


OK, then where is that clear line? Use some of the examples I gave above or your own from actual flics. Pick two scenes that are very similar but one just crosses the line. Would you consider the late night shows on Showtime/Cinemax/Movie Channel porn? If not, how about softcore where you see full frontal but it is not as much over the top explicit nature? Is it more about the "acting" than what body parts are shown?


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## hubby (Aug 10, 2009)

Star said:


> scenes with penetration non vanilla (kinky, fetish, bdsm, etc)


Cool. I am right there with you on where I think the line is. 

OK, now what about your boundaries. Are you fine with watching porn yourself? Say you were not OK with it, or there is a point in the action that is just too much for you and does not turn you on, would you ask your other half to not watch that? 

Also, what do you think about in your face literary erotica. I know there is a lot out there that is just as graphic, if not more so, than what you see on the tube. Would you describe that as pornography as well?


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## hubby (Aug 10, 2009)

Star said:


> I will watch porn alone and have watched with my hubs too, the thing is I tend to find it all a bit "staged" and "fake" which puts me off a bit but what puts me off the most is the over the top moaning from the women and the deliberate f**k me baby looks they give the camera that just doesn't do anything for me but this is probably different for you guy's.
> 
> 
> When it comes to erotic literacy, well that's a different story for me


I will admit, the moans and the f**k me baby looks are probably the best part of porn for the guys. I could really care less how natural or fake their bodies are, it is the raw, animalistic enthusiasm and feeling that she is so overcome with pleasure by what the guy is doing to her that she cannot control herself. I will admit that this is totally fake and I don't think there is any man alive who can make a woman do what the ladies in porn do, but that does not stop it from being such a turn on. 

I am one who thinks that a little bit of "faking it" in the bedroom is good and goes a long way. I am not talking about faking an orgasm but I am talking about putting on a little bit of a performance. Isn't sex...and life in general... somewhat of a performance?

So you like to read. Would you call that porn?


P.S....Star, I am starting to feel like we are taking over this board. I am ready for the admins to put a restriction on us. I think it is fun I get a little insight along the way here. Plus, my poor wife has a hangover from last night and is taking a long batch while I watch the kids and type away so I do not feel too bad.


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## hubby (Aug 10, 2009)

Star said:


> Do you know what doing what you mention above is the worst thing I have ever done, it's totally lead him up the wrong path in the past and I regret it-a lot


What is the difference between a strip tease or a BJ and say a "You are a f**king love god, give it to me harder" look while you are having sex? Is a strip tease/BJ not a performance?


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## hubby (Aug 10, 2009)

Star said:


> I love to read!!! gots lots of books and they are just as effective as turning you on and getting you going as film does, I have been know to get on on reading a sexy story.


OK, so is it porn? Come on, I want to hear one woman call erotica porn. In my eyes they are one in the same, but the most, if not all, of the ladies will not admit it.


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## hubby (Aug 10, 2009)

So I was curious how Webster defines pornography:

Main Entry: por·nog·ra·phy 
Pronunciation: \-fē\
Function: noun 
Etymology: Greek pornographos, adjective, writing about prostitutes, from pornē prostitute + graphein to write; akin to Greek pernanai to sell, poros journey — more at fare, carve
Date: 1858
1 : the depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement
2 : material (as books or a photograph) that depicts erotic behavior and is intended to cause sexual excitement
3 : the depiction of acts in a sensational manner so as to arouse a quick intense emotional reaction <the pornography of violence>

Now that I think about it, pornography has been around for centuries but the television and camera have not been around that long. Also, the literal root of the word is porno: prostitute and graphic: written.

But then again, I am not asking this question to get the "official" definition, I want to know individuals own interpretation.


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## hubby (Aug 10, 2009)

Yeah, but what is "true". I believe truth is everyones individual perception of reality. To each his/her own.

Thanks for the props though


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## CaliRN (Jan 2, 2010)

I agree with the definition but I guess everyone has there own definition. I consider any material video/magazine that causes arousal. I resently started reading erotic stories, typical the ones that start " I never believed this could happen to me" lol but I must admit it stimulates a part of my brain that videos don't, even better when My wife is taking care of me when I'm reading out loud


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## jaycee (Jan 29, 2010)

When is it not acceptable to you guys? I am just curious because I have found that my husband views the weirdest type of porn on his computer- like hentai, cartoon images of humans having sex with robots, sci fi porn (which he is into sci fi). In the past he has looked at people having sex with animals and I drew the line there, but caught him a few times looking at it in the more recent past. When I threatened with an ultimatum he said he stopped looking at it...but I don't know if he does. He is very secretive about his porn viewing. I won't lie, it does bother me, and I snoop on his computer to find out what he's viewing, but WHAT he is viewing is very disturbing to me. We tried watching porn together more recently and in the past I used to like it, now it's making me feel uncomfortable (this coming from someone who actually watched porn on her own in the past). We watched some weird cartoon sci fi porn and I was completely turned off.

is it just me or is that completely disgusting to anyone else?


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## SweetiepieMI (Jan 22, 2010)

People having sex with animals would be COMPLETELY disturbing for me if i caught my hubbs watching it.... Im not sure how I would respond to it, and I agree with you that idk if i would be able to watch any sort of porn with him after seeing that without feeling a bit weird.....
I dont consider erotic novel pornographic, because its all in the mind, hence just a fantasy.....I dont really consider the late night hbo stuff porn neither, because its so apparent that they are faking and that there is no actual penetration going on. 

I would describe porn to be sex with actual penetration, or bjs with a facial, that sort of thing, the more explicit stuff where they are actually showing the lower regions.....

For me, I definitely get turned off by the super fake boobs, and that over the top "F**K me, deeper deeper deeper" sort of thing where you know the chick is faking it.... For some reason I get put off if the chick looks at the camera too, idk like then i just feel like shes completely faking... I guess, im weird i know.....


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## steve71 (Feb 5, 2010)

My subjective definition goes roughly like this: porn depicts things on the surface whereas erotica is more complex and invites me to be inventive. So I feel like a spectator with the former and seduced by the latter. Maybe my imagination is my most erogenous zone.

My tastes are pretty simple: a nicely-done photo of a leggy woman in a short skirt and a knowing smile can put me into orbit but masses of heaving genitalia is less appealing to me. But of course there are exceptions

This might shift the boundaries from the detachment of porn/erotica over into real life, but I've had some wonderful, truly superb, tantalizing experiences of phone sex with lovers and one very special friend. Maybe for me that's the most volatile turn-on of all outside of love-making.

Unacceptable stuff: I've never seen this robot stuff that Jaycee mentions but my boundaries cut in where it's obvious that somebody somebody is being used, misused or simply isn't getting any pleasure from their role in things.


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## bacala787 (Feb 7, 2010)

penetration, masks, farm animals, you know - the usual!


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