# Not a good day.



## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I just need to vent more than anything here.

So yesterday was 6 years from the first D day (I didn't even realize it till today  ) so maybe that has something to do with this. I got the cell bill and there is a $21.00 charge on his number for 'international text messages'. Our cell plan doesn't list texts in detail, just any extra charges, so I have no list to look at. I asked him what the charges are for and he doesn't know.

The same thing happened a couple of years ago, and at that time the cell company told us that the charges were a result of a glitch with his type of phone and that it's happened to other people before. They took care of the charges then and they are now too. But of course when I saw the cell bill none of that came to mind. Just what he did came to mind. And it pisses me off.

I mean, we've done ALL this work to get past what he did and some stupid random thing like this comes up and that's STILL where my mind goes. I KNOW he has been fine for the last 5+ years but STILL. 

It isn't fvcking fair.

[Before everyone starts in with the 'That's why I will NEVER stay with a cheater' stuff, please know that this is a huge aberration for us. Things are really good and have been for a long time since I decided to R. I don't feel the need to beat him up any more at all, hence my vent here. Nothing has triggered me like this for ages.]


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

Totally understand. We are three and a half years in and I know it can still happen regardless of how well we are doing, it happens less and less, but still happens. Understand the frustration. Totally get it.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Hope1964 said:


> I just need to vent more than anything here.
> 
> So yesterday was 6 years from the first D day (I didn't even realize it till today  ) so maybe that has something to do with this. I got the cell bill and there is a $21.00 charge on his number for 'international text messages'. Our cell plan doesn't list texts in detail, just any extra charges, so I have no list to look at. I asked him what the charges are for and he doesn't know.
> 
> ...


I know. It isn't fair.

I could not for the life of me remember the year in which my wife had her affair. I think I'd blocked it out.

Then when my employer moved premises the year before last, the entry code of the downstairs door was the year of her affair.

It made me hyperventilate.

I am OK with it now.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Sorry. Have you shared your feelings with your H?

He has earned supporting you with this for the rest of his life.

I know you are tired of it but never be ashamed. You didn't earn it.

Hope you get through this well and he busts his ass to reassure are get to the bottom of it.

I don't care if it's been 10 years.

He will always need to step up in this area when you need it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

Have you contacted the phone company about the charges on your bill?


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Thanks guys, I have told hubby about this and he gets it. He knows.

And I also contacted the phone company and they are reversing the charges. They said the so-called texts have no data associated with them and they can't tell where they went to - the number is all zeros. I have no idea how someone's cell phone can just randomly send 48 texts by itself in the middle of the night - international ones no less - but apparently it's a thing. Hubby refuses to pay actual money for a new phone either - it's an old non-smart phone.

I'm better today


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## CantBelieveThis (Feb 25, 2014)

You are in good shape I think if small things like that trigger you, I wish I was further along after 3y in R. I know it will get better but the reminders are tough, just hang in there eventually they will dissipate, thou you will never forget..... For me is the stuff in news and radio, it seems to haunt me as a lot of times is done talk show or something talking about cheating and I trigger, uugghh

Sent from my SM-T700 using Tapatalk


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

Damn crooks. I wonder how many people get charged due to glitches that never check their bills.

Sorry you triggered 

Glad you guys are doing good 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Hope1964, glad you're feeling better about all of this. I guess your reaction was perfectly normal. Did you tell your h?


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## VeryHurt (Mar 11, 2011)

Don't beat yourself up over this.
Perfectly normal reaction.
Be Strong.
Be Happy!


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

That's the problem when trust has been damaged. Little things wack us upside the head and brings it all back. Glad to hear the two of you are doing good. Just watch out for days like this and try not to dwell on the memories.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

I have read that infidelity can cause it’s own form of PTSD. Most people think of PTSD as only happening with military, but it can happen in many instances, rape, abuse, a mugging….and yes, infidelity. 

I guess anything that causes pain and damage has the propensity to cause a PTSD flashback and that’s exactly what happens with our triggers. No rhyme or reason to them either. 

Sorry you triggered. I’m still at the point where I trigger often, I think I probably always will. My husband did what he’s done the entire 10 years we’ve been together, and it escalated from November to February. 10 years of the same behavior is probably going to cause me triggers for a long time….. I don’t know how much he triggers from what I did because he doesn’t talk about it.


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