# Being accuses of being jealous!



## Mr.StrongMan (Feb 10, 2016)

I have to get something off my chest from years ago.

I used to know a female friend who would accuse me of being jealous over two men who were better looking then me. I didn't think I was jealous! How do you even respond to someone who thinks you're jealous over someone? You can't?! 

If I could go back in time I would say to her: "If you're going to accuse me of being jealous over every man who is better than me, you're going to be very, very busy! And even if I was jealous, it would not matter. Do you know why? Because like them, I'm way beyond your league! 

And it was true! She was homely! 

I feel better now.

Seriously, how can you respond to someone who thinks you're jealous? You can't. 

She might of well said "nah nah nah nahhh he's better looking than you!" 

Who cares?


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Who cares? 

Evidently you do since you are replaying an event from years ago. 

This is the kind of stuff you discuss with a therapist. 

Mr Strongman


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

Response to her: "It's just adorable that you think I would be interested in you! Just like the cutest little engine that could"


Or

"You mean the twins from the Island of Misfit Toys?".


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## Mr.StrongMan (Feb 10, 2016)

MarriedDude said:


> Response to her: "It's just adorable that you think I would be interested in you! Just like the cutest little engine that could"
> 
> 
> Or
> ...


Good response! But I like mine better! LOL


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

All the answers are snarky. How about why do you think I don't have reason to be concern and how do you advise me to react if I turn away from a big red flag and it turns out in was wrong tondo so?


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## citygirl4344 (Mar 4, 2016)

Why is something like this from years ago still bothering you? 
She's an ex right? So who cares.
Move on.



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

Bothers you from years ago yet you need to "get it off your chest" ?

Nah, you really, really cared what she said..in fact you took it heart and let it marinate.


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## Mr.StrongMan (Feb 10, 2016)

BobSimmons said:


> Bothers you from years ago yet you need to "get it off your chest" ?
> 
> Nah, you really, really cared what she said..in fact you took it heart and let it marinate.


I was annoyed... But I wasn't jealous. That's my point. How do you defend yourself against being jealous when the person has the audacity to accuse you of it in the first place.


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## Mr.StrongMan (Feb 10, 2016)

citygirl4344 said:


> Why is something like this from years ago still bothering you?
> She's an ex right? So who cares.
> Move on.
> 
> ...


She was not an ex. Yuk! I would never date her. She was a close friend.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Mr.StrongMan said:


> I was annoyed... But I wasn't jealous. That's my point. How do you defend yourself against being jealous when the person has the audacity to accuse you of it in the first place.




Maybe she was right. Others can pick up things that we ourselves refuse to acknowledge. 

A female friend probably told you what she saw.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

I find it hilarious when someone you don't like immediately jumps to the conclusion that you're jealous of them/their life.

I'm like, "No...I really do just think you're a b!tch/[email protected]@rd believe it or not, lol.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

It's way bizarre (to me) that you cared enough to commit this to memory for years, and feel the need to discuss it online with strangers, all this time later.

Either it had a loud ring of truth to you, you are super bored, lonesome and grabbing at straws for something to start a new thread about, or there is more to this story. 

If an ugly man stated some random thing about me that wasn't true, an eye roll (even if only in my mind) would have been the only effort put forth by me, and would have been forgotten about 60 seconds later.


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## Mr.StrongMan (Feb 10, 2016)

Spicy said:


> It's way bizarre (to me) that you cared enough to commit this to memory for years, and feel the need to discuss it online with strangers, all this time later.
> 
> Either it had a loud ring of truth to you, you are super bored, lonesome and grabbing at straws for something to start a new thread about, or there is more to this story.
> 
> If an ugly man stated some random thing about me that wasn't true, an eye roll (even if only in my mind) would have been the only effort put forth by me, and would have been forgotten about 60 seconds later.


I'm this way with everything. And it's not easy.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Mr.StrongMan said:


> I'm this way with everything. And it's not easy.


I don't imagine it would be....


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## Mike6211 (Jan 18, 2013)

Mr.StrongMan said:


> ..How do you *defend* yourself ... when the person has the audacity to *accuse* you ..


 [my emphasis]

It wasn't an accusation. It was a statement of what she believed you felt.

You don't have to defend yourself. You weren't being attacked.

If what is being said to or about you doesn't suggest you're immoral or engaged in illegaility, why does it bother you? Someone else's (i.e your 'accuser's') financial position is none of your business. Ditto her religious beliefs and her sex life. And ditto what she thinks about you - it's none of your business. Isn't there a Zen Buddhist saying along the lines 'if you decline to accept a gift, who is left holding it?'. Same for a burden as for a gift.

She obviously pressed a button of yours. Only you can get to the bottom of it. I sometimes find that a short period of 100% concentrated fretting about a 'pressed button', then turning right away to other things, sometimes leads to something bubbling up an hour or half a day later when you least expect it .. some memory, some insight. You have to be ready and willing to seize the bubble though, the ego is only too willing to dismiss the bubbles as 'irrelevant' or 'nonsense'.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Mr.StrongMan said:


> She was not an ex. Yuk! I would never date her. She was a close friend.


*That being the case, why in the hell would someone even offer up the commodity of precious time in paying homage and worry to it? 
@blueinbr is most correct in assessing that this is a question that should be reserved for clergy, a therapist or perhaps other professionals!

To even answer such juvenile sounding rubbish only reduces you downward to her level of adolescent immaturity!

So unless you're actually seeking out that therapy, strictly from a layman' perspective, you should drop it like a hot rock!*


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## Mr.StrongMan (Feb 10, 2016)

Mike6211 said:


> [my emphasis]
> 
> Isn't there a Zen Buddhist saying along the lines 'if you decline to accept a gift, who is left holding it?'. Same for a burden as for a gift.


I really like that statement!


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

Just laugh it off. The more you defend yourself, the more jealous you will look.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

Man I have been called a lot worse things than that in my day. All of which I can't recall from who or what they even were... because I didn't care. The bigger question is... why do you?


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Closed.


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