# men,how do you think abt this man? women, would you still stay with such a man?



## letmego (Jan 7, 2010)

this is more about venting....


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## mike1 (Jun 15, 2009)

well you have a lot of issue so first off - have you talked about seeing a therapist for your marriage problems? 

It sounds like he's a control freak when you're trying to make a better life for the family by getting a an education and a decent job. I don't understand how you don't know where he's getting money. You said he doesn't work so what does he do? 

You have big problems that need to be resolved. I would suggest telling him you need to see a therapist. If he doesn't want to do that and work on the issues then you have to be prepared to possibly separate and see if that gets his attention. 

You have to be clear with him and tell him you want a better life and don't want to live with his parents forever and the situation needs to change. If you can get a good job then take it and don't let him dictate that for you. If he can't or won't do something to support that family then you need to. Unfortunately even if that means driving over an hour to work. It's better then not having a job...

Well it's no surprise you can't get aroused during sex, even after 10 minutes of oral. There's a missing connection with him and at this point you have resentment so arousal can be difficult for women in this situation. You probably would be more turned on by a stranger with the way your relationship is going. 

You met a guy online and fell in love? Just remember any of these guys you meet online probably just want sex mostly and don't necessarily want to leave their wives.

Either repair the relationship or you should end it in my opinion. You're not happy and going online to meet guys should tell you that you're probably not going to last much longer before you start cheating if things don't change. 

Good luck!!


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## letmego (Jan 7, 2010)

Hi Mike1.Thanks for your reply.

I've been trying everything. sometime the problems may not be so serious,but the serious problem is he doesn't recognise we have problems. you know what I'm saying? So lil problems can keep rolling like a snow ball and getting biger and biger.

I don't go online and meet more guysssssssssssss. I met 2 guys online as so far. he was the first one till I found out actually he wasn't like what he said loves me so much. So I did try to meet other guy(which is the second one) to forget about him. But unfotunately I can't do it. I can't have any feeling for other guy when I still love him. funny thing was when I met the other guy(nothing happened between us,not even a kiss...felt funny when he gave me just a polite hugging) ,the guy said to me" I can tell from your face that you feel guilty for him". and I asked him"for whom?", the guy said" for your lover!!!!!" Jesus! I don't know it was so easy to read my mind from my face?????I know that sounds very STUPID. I love someone who doesn't belong to me and I'm not even sure if he is the same in love with me as how I'm in love with him. So I stop chatting or looking. I know myself too well. If I'm still in love with one guy, I won't be able to love another one. You are right,those guys may just want sex. But I had reasons to fell in love with him(at least I though he was worth it when I fell in love with him),but now I'm in love with him for no reason even if I know he might not be worth my love at all. 

God knows who can make my husband change...........he's been living his life like this for sooooooooooooooooo longggggggggggggggggggggg .we talked about divorce,but he said I can go if i'm not happy. I have no word to describe this man................


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## mike1 (Jun 15, 2009)

letmego said:


> Hi Mike1.Thanks for your reply.
> 
> I've been trying everything. sometime the problems may not be so serious,but the serious problem is he doesn't recognise we have problems. you know what I'm saying? So lil problems can keep rolling like a snow ball and getting biger and biger.
> 
> ...


Wow, well first off you don't really love that guy. I think you just love the idea of being in love and this other guy paid attention to you and gave you something you wanted emotionally. You've been empty for so long you crave that love, that connection. 

A man that says you can go if you're not happy doesn't want to be married, it's sad to me. If he's saying things like that and you're not happy why don't you leave? Why don't you take a job with the schooling you got, move out and start over? Or at least move out and once he doesn't have you there maybe he would change his tune.


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## letmego (Jan 7, 2010)

mike1 said:


> Wow, well first off you don't really love that guy. I think you just love the idea of being in love and this other guy paid attention to you and gave you something you wanted emotionally. You've been empty for so long you crave that love, that connection.
> 
> A man that says you can go if you're not happy doesn't want to be married, it's sad to me. If he's saying things like that and you're not happy why don't you leave? Why don't you take a job with the schooling you got, move out and start over? Or at least move out and once he doesn't have you there maybe he would change his tune.


I really don't need much attention from guys whom I don't have feeling for at all.If I need that attention, I would not reject those guys who showed interests in me. For me I need someone who can have soul connection with me. I was out of love with my husband because I found out so much things that wasn't my type after we married.....I'm still in love with someone but don't want to see him any more because I fee like to him I was just an urge. it was just a so common out-marriage-affair to him. Now the excitement and fresh feeling was gone,so he turned back to who he is. I let it go


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