# Want to save my relationship which is falling after 5 years of dating



## Mr.Soldier (Apr 11, 2012)

First of all, I want to apologize for my English if there're any mistakes in my writing - English is my second language.
I've been dating my GF about over 5 years now. We're about to plan to get married but I've been having doubts about our happy future recently. We used to love each other like crazy but now we both feel like we're not getting enough of love from each other.
I'm feeling like I'm not getting enough attention from her, I feel like she loves me less than she used to, and sometimes I feel lonely cuz when we meet or talk I feel like I'm alone and she isn't the closest person for me.
I tried to talk it over with her but she keeps telling me that she's doing her best - she tells that she loves me. Yes she is trying to work out everything. Recently she got sick of my feeling sad about our relationship and not getting enough of her love. She doesn't want to be accused by me all the time (which is reasonable). We started fighting over such thing. I don't have any doubts concerning her cheating on me or anything. She's such a nice girl.
Well, I never blame her. I think that it's all in my head, and she's okay and it's only me who's messing everything up in our relationship. But sometimes I can't even agree with myself in this way, sometimes I keep thinking that it's her who isn't giving me enough attention.
I don't know what to do. Please advice me. I love my GF so much, I don't want to hurt her anymore and I don't want to lose her and make her hate me for this. I want to heal my way of thinking.


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## Uptown (Mar 27, 2010)

Soldier, welcome to the TAM forum. I'm so sorry that you and your GF are suffering so much. I strongly encourage you to see a MC as soon as possible. I also suggest that you consider seeing a clinical psychologist -- for at least a visit or two -- to obtain a professional opinion on what you are dealing with.

As you describe it, the issue is whether you are being oversensitive and too clingy, demanding too much attention. You suspect that you are but "can't even agree with myself" on that issue. This is understandable. It is impossible to stand outside one's self to obtain an objective view of yourself. That is why even psychologists don't try to do it on their own. Instead, they seek out objective advice from a colleague when trying to work on their own issues.

If you are only having communication problems, a good MC will be very helpful. Yet, if you are struggling with strong abandonment fears, or if she does not handle intimacy well, an IC will be needed to provide professional advice. Take care, Soldier.


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