# What do I tell the kids



## needymom (Sep 4, 2009)

Since telling my husband to get help with his drinking or the marriage is over. I don't know what to tell the kids. My husband's hiding and drinking away from the family started 14 years ago after the birth of our first son. He really hasn't "been there" raising the kids. I feel it has been me and my sons for a very long time, I take parenting very seriously. My kids use to invite friends over but that hasn't happened in 6 months. I know it is because of his drinking. I love bring the kids to the beach and out on little day trips. If my husband comes often it isn't as much fun. 
Being such an involved parent I do realize maybe I haven't put as much into my marriage. In the last 14 years my husband and I have gone out alone 5 times and I can't even say that any of those times have been a real date. 
My kids do come and talk to me about the strange things my husband does and I just don't know what to tell them. Do I now tell them or should I see if my husband will tell them.


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

how much does your husband drink? a couple of beers? a 12 pack? what?


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## needymom (Sep 4, 2009)

Hard to say he usually hides away when he drinks. The worse day was when, he passed out vomiting and the kids called me at work they thought he was dieing. He has never gotten that bad since. My guess would be 10 beers and half a bottle of a large bottle of wine a day.


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## LaBella (Mar 9, 2009)

How old are your Kids? Believe me they might know more that what you think. My cousins husband was a serious alcoholic and the kids knew it, they support it their mom thru the bad periods and were happy to see him go when she finally kick him out. One of her sons lost one of his dogs a few months back, and cried more for that dog than for his father, that tells you something.

Talk to the boys, remember how young they are, and ask them what they thing it should be done. They probably are all for you to just kick him out of the house or send him to a rehab place. Your husband needs help badly and neither you nor your kids should put up with habit. It is not good for your health and definitely not good for the kids.


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

He definately needs help, get him into AA as soon as possible, I bet there are deeper issues plaguing him.


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## 20yrs (Sep 18, 2009)

*ALWAYS* honor him in front of your kids. You are doing them no good at all, to let them know that you think he is not doing right. They have the right to be able to honor and respect their Dad.

*They will grow up to be teenagers soon enough and know MORE than either of you*.

I would say, don't say something is right when it is wrong, but neither downplay him in front of your kids EVER.

THAT could be the reason for his drinking.

MANY, many husbands don't know how to deal with a wife that downplays them in front of the kids.

Sometimes all it takes for them to stop drinking is to* have a wife that will draw out the MAN* in them instead of squooshing and critisizing the man inside them.:scratchhead:


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