# Down to the wire



## LivingAgain (Jun 12, 2013)

Well, the 90 day wait period is over for the filing of the divorce complaint. Just signed the necessary forms for the final decree to be filed and sent to a judge for approval...could be a week or several weeks depending on judge's caseload...

I can almost officially post here in Life After Divorce!!

Cannot wait to finally shed that final 230 lbs of DEAD WEIGHT


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Congrats.  I had to wait a year in my state. 

ETA - I think very few people divorce in haste. I think divorces should be processed quickly. BUT I think you should have to wait a year to marry. First time or not - apply for license and wait a year. I think there would be fewer divorces.


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## LivingAgain (Jun 12, 2013)

EnjoliWoman said:


> ETA - I think very few people divorce in haste. I think divorces should be processed quickly. BUT I think you should have to wait a year to marry. First time or not - apply for license and wait a year. I think there would be fewer divorces.


I agree!! Although we met in June, engaged in November and married in January - waiting a year we probably still would have married...the first 8 years were pretty good - normal busy growing family. It's when posSTBX decided to lose weight, get buff and glean all kinds of attention that resulted in his first affair! Meanwhile I was recovering from losing my mother, my only parent since age 3 when my dad died. 

But yes I think mandatory wait period for marriage and quickly processed divorces would save a lot of couples pain and agony and expense!


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## LivingAgain (Jun 12, 2013)

Still no final decree...but it should be coming soon!

Stress is creeping in again though. Have had several cluster headaches at the base of my head in the back - ouch.

House situation is sh!tty - literally...the non-functioning cesspool finally has backed up into the house; through the shower, toilet, washer - EEEWWWWW!

Short sale offer will probably not be accepted by bank. Sheriff's sale scheduled for Dec. 9th. Yay! Foreclosure 

posSTBXH has moved out of sh!thouse into crappy 2nd floor apt owned by a friend. Expects his kids to help him move :scratchhead:

He also contacted MY oldest daughter and wanted to see the grandkids after a year! They haven't asked about him in months. And he was floored that my D will not be inviting him to any family events (kids bday party or holidays) Delusional...
Caused her emotional upheaval...seems when he can't get that from me, he tries to deliver it to me through others.

My car needs to be inspected by month's end. It WILL NOT pass and I am not putting any $$ into an 18 yr old POS car with 223,000 miles. (STBX bought himself a shiny 2011 car in Oct. how nice for him) 

Awaiting my distribution from one of the QDROs so that I can buy a reliable car. That prob won't happen by month's end. UGH. Take my chances and drive un-inspected. Rather pay a $100 fine then plunk thousands into a clunker.

UGH When will all of this be over?!?!?


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

Wow, LA, what a crappy situation. Are you getting any insurance help due to the cesspool, or can you file a claim for damages with whoever installed it? My mom and dad had a similar situation many years with a septic system drainfield, and they got a judgement in small claims court that paid for a new system, plus some damages. Most companies have to be bonded, for just such instances.


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## LivingAgain (Jun 12, 2013)

angelpixie said:


> Wow, LA, what a crappy situation. Are you getting any insurance help due to the cesspool, or can you file a claim for damages with whoever installed it? My mom and dad had a similar situation many years with a septic system drainfield, and they got a judgement in small claims court that paid for a new system, plus some damages. Most companies have to be bonded, for just such instances.


No help with cesspool...the house was built in 1893 and cesspool put in the 50's by the owner. No plumbing on 2nd floor...it's just done...clogged up...no recourse. no room for a septic system - just replace with holding tanks.

BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bank made final counter offer to buyer on Friday and buyer accepted!!!!! Short sale will happen  Buyer is planning on moving well to install alternate septic system.

Now I just need to get my baby grand out of the house. posSTBX moved out this past weekend so I can get in there and get it moved.


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

Wooh-hoo!! That's awesome news! Must be a big relief to you, too. 
Good luck on getting the piano moved. *fingers crossed* for you.


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## LivingAgain (Jun 12, 2013)

angelpixie said:


> Wooh-hoo!! That's awesome news! Must be a big relief to you, too.
> Good luck on getting the piano moved. *fingers crossed* for you.


Relief is an understatement!! 

Moving the piano will cost $$$$ because the house is on a ridge and they have to move it down 24 concrete steps  saving up for it now!

Now I just wish the D decree would come through soon!


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

I'm happy for you, I know its a great relief.
Yuck about the piano., but keep remembering that you don't have to put a new septic in!
I'm also waiting for the final decree. I got my hopes up yesterday with an email from my attorney only to be told the court wanted a modification in the final decree. ugh.


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## LivingAgain (Jun 12, 2013)

Pluto2 said:


> I'm happy for you, I know its a great relief.
> Yuck about the piano., but keep remembering that you don't have to put a new septic in!
> I'm also waiting for the final decree. I got my hopes up yesterday with an email from my attorney only to be told the court wanted a modification in the final decree. ugh.


Ugh is right, pluto  Hope mod gets done fast and you get finalization soon!!!

Good thing about piano is that the owner of the biz I work for is letting me store it for free in my store's storeroom until I move back to my hometown next year! Free temp controlled storage - woohoo! It would never fit in my little apartment!


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

I cringe knowing the baby grand that was my ex's grandma's is sitting in non-climate controlled storage.  I would have taken it. I have my Grandma's tall upright.

Congrats on getting out from under the sewer issue and having a place to store!


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## LivingAgain (Jun 12, 2013)

My heart is telling me this is the week of MOVING FORWARD!!

Buyer for the house yesterday...

Final pension QDRO was approved today 

Only one thing left....final decree and attorney thinks that'll come this week!!

By Friday I may finally be single, free and FUNDED :smthumbup:


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

And 230 lbs lighter!! :smthumbup:


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## LivingAgain (Jun 12, 2013)

angelpixie said:


> And 230 lbs lighter!! :smthumbup:


Ahhh, just saw posSTBX to get signature on QDRO and I'd like to amend my weight loss to 235-240, roughly


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


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## LivingAgain (Jun 12, 2013)

angelpixie said:


> :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


:lol: :iagree:


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## LivingAgain (Jun 12, 2013)

Trying desperately to keep my anger in check and not pick up the phone and call POSSTBX!!

It's his son's birthday weekend and when son asked to hang out Friday night and stay over at his new apartment for his birthday he was told "posGF is coming home from being away and staying with me."

posSTBX KNOWS son does not want to be in her presence at this point. Did he offer to see her later? NOOOO...
So son just sighed and said "Ok another time, I guess."

IT'S HIS SON'S BIRTHDAY!!! HE IS 20 - ON THE VERGE OF TRUE ADULTHOOD AND IS BLOWN OFF BY HIS POS DAD FOR A PIECE OF A$$!!!

     

At first when son told me, he says "yea ok whatever." But yesterday confided that he was upset. Felt dad could have arranged to see her later...what could I say?!??

Told him I was sorry he was being treated like this...

And dad went mattress shopping last week with son for his birthday. When they found one he liked, dad asked son to put up half for then and he'd give him back money on Friday....

Come Friday - no money in son's account. Son texted - dad says Oh sorry, will be up early tomorrow and get to bank and make deposit. Come Saturday, son gets up late morning - no money...texted dad - no response for 3 hours! Then he gets "Oh bank closed at Noon. have to do it Monday"

This kid is in college and can only work two days a week...
Son said to me "If he couldnt afford it, Fine! Just tell me! Don't lie and say you will have it! Now I'm out that money that I need for gas to get to school!"

So not only does he get blown off for his birthday, he foots half the bill for his own present and god knows when he'll get the money back...

Sigh....had to get that out!

Kids and I are going to local Japanese steak house to celebrate his birthday tonight and needed to vent that so I can go and have a nice time


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

Wow, LA, what a truly sh!tty thing for a dad to do on his kid's birthday! :loser: issed: I hope you all had a nice time at the restaurant, though.


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## LivingAgain (Jun 12, 2013)

angelpixie said:


> Wow, LA, what a truly sh!tty thing for a dad to do on his kid's birthday! :loser: issed: I hope you all had a nice time at the restaurant, though.


Yes totally sh!tty :loser:

But me, two sons and bday son's gf had an great dinner out tonight  Was a nice weekend with him home!!


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## LivingAgain (Jun 12, 2013)

It's official - I am divorced. :smthumbup:


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Glad you have this element of closure on a bad relationship. I wish mine would hurry up.
And still we're stuck cleaning up the ex's fallout.


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## LivingAgain (Jun 12, 2013)

Pluto - i have been on the edge of my seat for two weeks since filing the decree for this!

Yea, clean up continues...short sale of house, and the fall out with his behavior effects on the kids  but it's freeing to be moving forward with it being official!

Hope yours is done SOON!!


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

Congrats, LA!! How does it feel to lose that weight from off your back?  

I'll raise a glass to you tonight, hoping the sale and clean-up go well, and that you and the kids move on to a happier life. Cheers!!


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Welcome to the new chapter of your life, Living


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Living, I feel like a dummy but all this time, I thought you were a man. LOL Just noticed "Female" on your profile.

Who's the hottie in your avatar?


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## LivingAgain (Jun 12, 2013)

Jellybeans said:


> Living, I feel like a dummy but all this time, I thought you were a man. LOL Just noticed "Female" on your profile.
> 
> Who's the hottie in your avatar?


That hottie is Matt Smith, the 11th Doctor of Doctor Who...yes, I am a nerd along with being female!


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