# I can't take CONTROLLING wife!!!!



## Mr.PotentialFulfilled (Jan 5, 2010)

My wife and I had a big blow up in front of my 8 year old son.
My wife was cleaning up my son's handwriting. The teacher told her not to do his homework for him. I said "I don't want to get in a fight but his teacher said not to fix his homework, let him clean it up.... or leave it alone..." I must have started raising my voice AGAIN cause she started raising her voice and all hell broke loose. Once again my wife started playing her control games and said she won't help him anymore that I should help him from now on. That's a power game and I'm not falling for it anymore. She was always the better student! Then we started throwing back insults to one another. She refuses to see that I work around the house. I am unemployed and she works... she does work around the house but give me no credit... She even called me a bum. I really want to get out of this marriage. My wife is from a different culture and she is set in her ways. It's her way or no way. She refuses to see that she might not be right about something. My stupid temper always gets in my way. I CAN'T TAKE IT! BUT I AM TRAPPED CAUSE I CAN'T GET A JOB AND THEN I CAN'T KEEP A JOB. I NEED HELP!


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

I think the issue here is the job thing. I bet half of this vanishes the moment you start working.

Is there anything you can do? What sort of work do you do?


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## Mr.PotentialFulfilled (Jan 5, 2010)

Atholk said:


> I think the issue here is the job thing. I bet half of this vanishes the moment you start working.
> 
> Is there anything you can do? What sort of work do you do?


The friction is there when I work too. My wife says I look very angry when I come home from work. So I can't win.
I thought I was a graphic designer but I can never keep a job. I should have been an art director/creative director by now. Sighhh..... I am so tired of it all.


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## sienna (Dec 8, 2009)

Have you considered going and studying to do something else, and in the meantime getting some part time work, just to keep you busy and bringing in a small income. 
I know that a few years ago I was working really long hours in investment banking (im talking 18 hours - 20 hours a day, 6-7 days a week). I was making double what my H was and if that wasnt enough I would come home and clean, wash, buy groceries etc. Now I never said anything to him because I didnt want him to feel like less of a person because he couldnt earn as much as me, but I resented him for it allot. 
I know you say you do lots around the house and that is great, but dont expect her to acknowledge it, at the moment she expects it. 

I do think you need to find something else to do that will help you eventually get a job. It will be very difficult now for you to end the marriage without any financial stability.

By the sounds of it she is definately starting to resent you and she will continue to play that control game with you if you dont start to take control of your life.

Good luck


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## Nekko (Oct 13, 2009)

Have you considered the possibility that maybe you really are with a temper and look angry most of the time?

It bugs the hell out of most of us when our spouse walks through the door with the 'face of doom' after work. People should be HAPPY to be home after a long day of work...not pissed. Just my opinion. 

The insult and blame game is completely pointless ...as soon as you realize that you might not get so angry because you'll realize yelling and fighting is energy not worth spending on that kinda stuff. 

My advice would be just keep your cool when she's angry, eventually train your humour and make those situations less tense...oh yeah, and try to find out what she's deeply so pissed about...something she needs she's not getting. Most likely it's about the respect she doesn't have for you right now because she probably feels like you are doing nothing to earn it.


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## Loving Husband (Aug 3, 2009)

What is the problem with the job situation? Why can't you find a job and more importantly why can't you keep one?? I find this odd. Now not saying your wife is doing right but I like what the other posters said. Maybe she is frustrated too. Seeing a happy face when her day is over would be good. I know from a mans point of view we feel worthless if we are not providing. That means earning the paycheck. I would sit down with her and talk to her about the problems. I bet the center around your job situation.


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