# Ladies & Gents Please Help me am confused



## sam_sweet (Jul 25, 2009)

Hi,
Am a guy who is not married (would be within a year).
The problem is pretty simple --- "I don't know to drive a bike (or a bicycle too) and neither do have a car" (I feel very embarrassed even to type this).

Though am very fond of travelling and travel a lot frequently.

So am very afraid to marry a girl,because she might get mad on hearing this.I fear I might not be able to take her out a lot privately,nor help in increasing her mobility.

Other than that,am guy who will surely care and love his wife.
Also I am a person who is fun to be with.
In fact am a submissive and soft guy.Am settled financially too.

Please help me would my future wife will divorce me for this?
do i sound like a kid hmmmmmm???/


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## GPR (Jan 3, 2009)

Where do you live?


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## GPR (Jan 3, 2009)

I'm sorry to say I'm not too familiar with the culture in India. 

Do you live in a larger metropolitan area with readily available public transportation? How do you commute now? When you go to work or go to the market, etc.?

I know that in larger cities here in the US, many people don't every drive. New York is the best example. There are hundreds of thousands of people that NEVER drive. They are married, have kids, etc, and because of public transportation, they do not own a car and never drive anywhere, and they get along just fine.

And if you've been dating this girl now, doesn't she already know you can't drive?

And is it hard in your country to learn how to drive?


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

Depends where you live and how you make a living and why you cant drive. In some areas, people don't need a car, have mass transit or live close to work.

In my area, you would die without a car, it is required as there is no mass transit. Even the stores ( for food) are too far to walk to.


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## Sandy55 (Jun 3, 2009)

Well, if you are financially OK, then you can get driving lessons if you live in the States.

No, I don't think a wife would divorce you because you can't ride a bicycle or a bike, or drive a car! If you live in the States and in certain cities like New York, Boston, Washington D.C. or Baltimore, you may be able to use public transportation (busses, subway) but in most places in the States you need a car. 

Teach her to drive (get her lessons to drive), if you don't want to learn!


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## sam_sweet (Jul 25, 2009)

People Thank yo so much for your replies.
You see the real problem's are:

(1)am unable to share/discuss this problem with anyone here 
(hmm I haven't disclosed this stuff to any of my friends :-( )
And,it was really good to share it with u guys.Thank u people.
Thanks God.

(2) You see am from India.In my area public transportation is too good,which can relied upon,but its crowded (during those peak hours) and not good for hot days here.Am worried that she may not like (or hate me) for using PT to take her out.
Also am worried that am disturbing her physically,rather giving her a comfy ride by myself.

(3) My problem of not driving has to with my inner fear's,from childhood am fed with gory images of accidents that am afraid to take driving lesson's.(I took few for car and bike,but all ended in vain).I need to gather my mental strength to do this.Do u guys know anyone like me?who have a successful/bad marriage?

(4) My friends envy that I have a perfect life.but inside I feel so inferior because of this issue.

God Bless u all.


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

ah, why is my nose twitching? Can't drive? BS! You push a pedal, you turn a wheel. Practice, practice, practice.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Before thinking about getting married, you need to deal with your phobia(s). Not driving is a non-issue, if it's because you don't need to. But wanting to be able to drive and being too afraid--that's a huge issue. Your fears are controlling you. See a therapist and work on this. Being fearful and submissive is a problem--a big problem--for anyone, male or female. Please seek the help you need. Otherwise, you will marry someone who "takes care of you" (whether you realize it or not) and she will eventually resent you for your being so fearful and helpless. Please, do yourself a huge favor and address your mental health issues first. Best of luck.


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## sam_sweet (Jul 25, 2009)

Thank you so much sister,I surely do what u had said.
In India traffic rules are not so rigid and traffic population is so high that fatal accidents are very common,leave alone accidents which damage the vehicle or injure the person.
In fact in past one week, I had seen three accidents happening before me.One of them was fatal.
This is exclusive of other fatal accidents happened in the area around, about which I happened to hear.(All were horrible).
Today two of my colleagues car were damaged due to careless driving of another person.
Anyway sis ,I will see to that I gear up my mental strength,thanks
God bless you.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Good for you. Life is full of risks, and driving is one of them. I used to be afraid to fly but decided that I'd rather die than live a life limited by my fear--I desperately wanted to travel overseas. So I started flying, and now I have no fear; I love it! I want to visit India someday, too; it is on the top of my list of places I want to go but getting there won't be easy for me. Some day!!


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## sam_sweet (Jul 25, 2009)

OMG, U had fear for flying.Thank god u succeeded in driving the phobia out. 
Nice to hear u love to travel.Wish I could also love driving someday.

Wow I love this site,u guys so friendly.
If u r planning to visit India,come with a open mind,and love the experience.
Am from India and even though I travel,there is lot for me to learn about my country.

(well we r getting deviated from the topic).
Where u r from sister?


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