# Ending a Casual Relationship - Why do I feel like $hit?



## bravenewworld

A month ago I went on a really nice date with a guy I met at the park while playing Frisbee golf. He was a gentleman who pulled out all the stops - flowers, dinner, etc. I had a great time, and I think he did too! No sex but a little bit of very nice smooching. 

Later I found out, he was a workaholic. Dude has a seriously crazy schedule plus shared custody situation with a teenage daughter. We met up for coffee once and another time he briefly stopped by my house to return a Frisbee, but other than that it has just been daily texting to stay in touch.

I also became busier. I picked up more shifts at work, am having an upcoming gallery show of my artwork (yay!) and am also training for a marathon AND doing volunteer work. There's a lot on my plate!

Anyway the daily texts started to feel more annoying than something I looked forward to - the situation didn't feel "right" and the attraction we'd built had fizzled out on my end. He texted me after he dropped off the frisbee that he was sorry his schedule was so difficult but he really wanted to spend time with me. I responded by saying. "I understand, seems like we are both really busy. Right now I don't feel like I have anything to give in regards to dating. There's a lot going on right now in my life and I need to focus on that." 

I thought I was being respectful and sincere, but all I got was radio silence and I haven't heard from him at all. Which is ok, but why do I feel so upset and guilty??


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## bravenewworld

I definitely got sick of the mundane texting. It was the typical "how are you" "fine how are you" variety. Every. Single. Day. 

Not looking to connect on a deeper level though, just not feeling it, partly because our schedules are so crazy it feels like too much "work" to make time to date. 

I gotta stick up for disc golf though - it's a really fun game plus you get a hike and some nature in!


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## gouge_away

Yeah and you talk about sh!t!
I used to be an avid disc golfer, love it. I agree though, texting gets old, I've met some amazing people and had a great time, but when it comes to the mundane, I'd much rather have a day of silence and occasional "what the hell you been up to," than hear about every **** they took.


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## Rowan

I'm not sure what type of response you were looking for from him? A gentleman doesn't persist in pursuing a lady who's made her disinterest clear. You broke up with him. So it's no surprise at all that you haven't heard from him again. I would find it far more odd and uncomfortable if you had. Anything he'd said beyond some version of "It was nice to have met you and good luck in your journey," would have been inappropriate on his part anyway. 

It always sucks a bit when a relationship ends - whether you're the dumper or the dumpee. Perhaps your guilt stems from not having had this breakup conversation in person? If so, it's probably too late to fix that this time, since trying to talk to him about it now will just feel like mixed signals and unnecessary drama. Just plan to initiate any future breakups in person. Those are still going to suck too, though. Sorry.


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## RandomDude

Texts are not a good way to end anything, period. I always break my hearts face to face, gives the lady opportunity for closure as well. But 'tis just me.


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## Cooper

Maybe you feel you let the guy down or hurt his feelings because you're just too stinking nice! So now you're feeling guilty because you feel like you should have been able to give him what he wanted, and that's just not healthy for you or in your best interest long term. 

I think you should be patting yourself on the back, you realized it wasn't working for you and ended it sooner instead of later. Sure it sucks to have to hurt someone's feelings, but it feels good to put your happiness as priority.

As for him going silent....I would think that's a relief for you and a sign of maturity on his part, what's left to talk about (or text in this case).


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## SecondTime'Round

I had a similar situation recently when I went on a date with the handyman/professor. We went out before my vacation and it was fine and nice and he's a good guy, but I'm not interested in dating right now. When I got back from vacation, we texted a bit, but then I told him, via text, how I was feeling about still needing to heal, not interested in dating anyone or investing any of my energy into dating, but I'd still like to be friends. He did not respond right away, but he did the next morning and said, "I understand, ___. Friends ."

I think that's probably the type of reaction you were hoping to get so you don't wonder if he thinks you're a jerk.


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## arbitrator

*Brave: I for one think that you successfully handled it the best way you could, and I'd try not to put yourself on an unneeded guilt trip!

Given the magnitude of the situation, I really feel that your "date" understands completely, and in no way holds it against you!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bravenewworld

Rowan said:


> It always sucks a bit when a relationship ends - whether you're the dumper or the dumpee. Perhaps your guilt stems from not having had this breakup conversation in person? If so, it's probably too late to fix that this time, since trying to talk to him about it now will just feel like mixed signals and unnecessary drama. Just plan to initiate any future breakups in person. Those are still going to suck too, though. Sorry.


Yea, I think I forgot about the sucking part because I don't date much lately. In this situation it would have felt weird to break it off in person. We only went on one official date. Unless meeting up for coffee for an hour or him dropping off the Frisbee and chatting for an hour counts. To me in person is reserved for quite a few dates and/or physical intimacy, of which we had neither (besides kissing.) I would have done it over the phone except we'd never spoken on the phone before so that as an option felt weird too. 



RandomDude said:


> Texts are not a good way to end anything, period. I always break my hearts face to face, gives the lady opportunity for closure as well. But 'tis just me.


Really? Even for only 1-3 dates? Maybe it's cowardly on my end but I can't imagine going to that length with someone I'm just getting to know. However, I do think "ghosting" is extremely rude and I wouldn't do that to someone and leave them wondering. 




Cooper said:


> Maybe you feel you let the guy down or hurt his feelings because you're just too stinking nice! So now you're feeling guilty because you feel like you should have been able to give him what he wanted, and that's just not healthy for you or in your best interest long term.


This exactly. He's a nice guy and I liked him. But the timing and situation just didn't feel right. I'm really not used to putting my own needs first. 



SecondTime'Round said:


> I had a similar situation recently when I went on a date with the handyman/professor. We went out before my vacation and it was fine and nice and he's a good guy, but I'm not interested in dating right now. When I got back from vacation, we texted a bit, but then I told him, via text, how I was feeling about still needing to heal, not interested in dating anyone or investing any of my energy into dating, but I'd still like to be friends. He did not respond right away, but he did the next morning and said, "I understand, ___. Friends ."
> 
> I think that's probably the type of reaction you were hoping to get so you don't wonder if he thinks you're a jerk.


Yes! I wanted him to just write something back like "I understand, nice meeting you." Silence is fine and can even be viewed as respectful, but it felt a little jarring. Not saying he's wrong for doing it, especially if that's what is best for him. 



arbitrator said:


> *Brave: I for one think that you successfully handled it the best way you could, and I'd try not to put yourself on an unneeded guilt trip!
> 
> Given the magnitude of the situation, I really feel that your "date" understands completely, and in no way holds it against you!*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I hope so. Feeling a little better today regarding. Only problem is he owns my favorite restaurant, guess I won't be eating there anytime soon!


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## EasyPartner

OP,

If you have time for marathon training, volunteer work ánd frisbee golf, but you say you can't fit a date or two into your schedule, or so you say, a man wouldn't feel like any kind of priority, which is not a happy feeling, but also that you were making insincere excuses to end your dating game.

Stop being so polite (you're not actually) and try telling him the truth. You may get a better response.


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## bravenewworld

EasyPartner said:


> OP,
> 
> If you have time for marathon training, volunteer work ánd frisbee golf, but you say you can't fit a date or two into your schedule, or so you say, a man wouldn't feel like any kind of priority, which is not a happy feeling, but also that you were making insincere excuses to end your dating game.
> 
> Stop being so polite (you're not actually) and try telling him the truth. You may get a better response.


I'm glad you know me better than I know myself. ::eyeroll::

The fact of the matter is - I had signed up for all those things before I even met him. As the time required to participate in PRIOR commitments I had already made grew, I didn't have time to work around his packed schedule. Also, his daughter is having a major surgery in a few weeks and that was going to (rightfully so) take up most of his free time over the next month or two. 

I'm not on dating websites and am not trying to date anyone at all right now. Meeting him was just a (very nice) fluke. I'm sure it wasn't a "love connection" anyway but the biggest factor in my decision was that lack of in-person and meaningful contact on both of our ends allowed the connection to fizzle. 

Your post doesn't seem to be about my specific situation, and more about your own personal assumptions and baggage.


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## arbitrator

bravenewworld said:


> Yea, I think I forgot about the sucking part because I don't date much lately. In this situation it would have felt weird to break it off in person. We only went on one official date. Unless meeting up for coffee for an hour or him dropping off the Frisbee and chatting for an hour counts. To me in person is reserved for quite a few dates and/or physical intimacy, of which we had neither (besides kissing.) I would have done it over the phone except we'd never spoken on the phone before so that as an option felt weird too.
> 
> 
> 
> Really? Even for only 1-3 dates? Maybe it's cowardly on my end but I can't imagine going to that length with someone I'm just getting to know. However, I do think "ghosting" is extremely rude and I wouldn't do that to someone and leave them wondering.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> This exactly. He's a nice guy and I liked him. But the timing and situation just didn't feel right. I'm really not used to putting my own needs first.
> 
> 
> 
> Yes! I wanted him to just write something back like "I understand, nice meeting you." Silence is fine and can even be viewed as respectful, but it felt a little jarring. Not saying he's wrong for doing it, especially if that's what is best for him.
> 
> 
> 
> I hope so. Feeling a little better today regarding. Only problem is he owns my favorite restaurant, guess I won't be eating there anytime soon!


*That would be a small trade-off, in my opinion!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WorkingOnMe

Honestly, deep down inside, were you hoping just a little bit that he'd maybe change his schedule....maybe chase you a little.....maybe go down fighting for your company? But when he just let it drop without any seeming care in the world you felt maybe a little dumped yourself?


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## bravenewworld

WorkingOnMe said:


> Honestly, deep down inside, were you hoping just a little bit that he'd maybe change his schedule....maybe chase you a little.....maybe go down fighting for your company? But when he just let it drop without any seeming care in the world you felt maybe a little dumped yourself?


Hmm. I hadn't thought about it that way, but you are probably right. I definitely felt it was odd he couldn't even respond with an "I understand, nice meeting you."


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## WorkingOnMe

bravenewworld said:


> Hmm. I hadn't thought about it that way, but you are probably right. I definitely felt it was odd he couldn't even respond with an "I understand, nice meeting you."


You probably (hopefully) haven't been paying attention to the red pill, pua stuff that gets posted around here, but I think he pulled a pua tactic on you. He went dark on purpose thinking that if you ever get together later you'll be all over him. Just my guess anyway.


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## FeministInPink

You have nothing to feel guilty about. You went on ONE date.

And the vibe that I'm getting from this whole thing is that he just wasn't that into you. If he was really into you, even IF he works a lot and has to juggle have joint custody, he would have made/found time to see you again. At the very least, you guys would have started talking on the phone, instead of bullsh!t texts.

The texts were starting to be a nuisance for you because they weren't going anywhere. It's an emotional hamster wheel. He saw you as an option, so he wanted to stay in touch. But that was it.

You're feeling bad because you wanted him to like you, and you were being understanding of his schedule, etc, etc. So that (empathetic) part of you makes you wonder if you weren't giving him enough slack--when you were actually cutting him too much slack.

"My schedule is really tight but I really want to spend time with you." I'm calling bullsh!t on this one. If he actually wanted to spend time with you, he would do it--or make concrete plans to do so. Pretty words with no action to back them up are empty promises.

I think @WorkingOnMe is right, in that his going dark is probably a PUA tactic. He'll text you a couple of weeks from now, and he'll be like, sorry I've been so busy, want to get together tonight? And expect you to jump on it. Whatever.

I think you handled it just fine. The only thing that I would have done differently is I would have called him on his bullsh!t behavior. I've had guys pull this same kind of sh!t with me, and I've lost any and all patience for it. If he is texting me after the date, but doesn't ask about getting together again within, say, a week, I'll suggest it. If he is actually interested in getting together again, he'll either accept or suggest a different time. If he declines, and doesn't make an alternate suggestion, I almost immediately start to lose interest, and stop initiating contact. If he contacts me, I'll respond, but that's it. If another week goes by, and he still doesn't make plans, I send one final text: "I really enjoyed meeting you, but it's clear you aren't actually interested in seeing me again, and I'm not interested in having a pen pal. Best of luck with everything."

I've gotten a couple of weak-ass protests, and if I get that back, that's when I call them on their sh!t. I've gotten lame excuses from some people--one guy told me it was Ramadan, and so he was really weak from the fasting. One guys texted me and said, "I'm sorry that you feel that way." (_Whatever, don't try to turn this around on me, loser._) There hasn't been a single guy that has stepped up and said, you're right, let's go out on Friday. But I don't expect them to. Because if they were actually into me, it never would have gotten to the "pen pal text" stage.

I felt bad the first time I did it, but then I realized that I had nothing to feel bad about. I realized that the guy was the one who put me in that position, because he was the one who was fence-sitting. He didn't want to be mean and tell me he didn't actually wanted to see me again, or he wanted to wait and see if there was something better out there. And I have enough self-respect to say that I deserve better than waiting around to see if he will choose me. If he isn't interested enough to know he wants a second date and doesn't have the wherewithal to make that happen, that's not a guy I want.


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## sixbravebulls

bravenewworld said:


> A month ago I went on a really nice date with a guy I met at the park while playing Frisbee golf. He was a gentleman who pulled out all the stops - flowers, dinner, etc. I had a great time, and I think he did too! No sex but a little bit of very nice smooching.
> 
> Later I found out, he was a workaholic. Dude has a seriously crazy schedule plus shared custody situation with a teenage daughter. We met up for coffee once and another time he briefly stopped by my house to return a Frisbee, but other than that it has just been daily texting to stay in touch.
> 
> I also became busier. I picked up more shifts at work, am having an upcoming gallery show of my artwork (yay!) and am also training for a marathon AND doing volunteer work. There's a lot on my plate!
> 
> Anyway the daily texts started to feel more annoying than something I looked forward to - the situation didn't feel "right" and the attraction we'd built had fizzled out on my end. He texted me after he dropped off the frisbee that he was sorry his schedule was so difficult but he really wanted to spend time with me. I responded by saying. "I understand, seems like we are both really busy. Right now I don't feel like I have anything to give in regards to dating. There's a lot going on right now in my life and I need to focus on that."
> 
> I thought I was being respectful and sincere, but all I got was radio silence and I haven't heard from him at all. Which is ok, but why do I feel so upset and guilty??


Yeah, you blew him off. Or at least that's how I would take it. No man wants a woman who's so busy she can't even communicate with him.


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## FeministInPink

sixbravebulls said:


> Yeah, you blew him off. Or at least that's how I would take it. No man wants a woman who's so busy she can't even communicate with him.


He's been blowing her off, too--he hasn't bothered to even TRY to arrange a second date.


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## RandomDude

bravenewworld said:


> Really? Even for only 1-3 dates? Maybe it's cowardly on my end but I can't imagine going to that length with someone I'm just getting to know. However, I do think "ghosting" is extremely rude and I wouldn't do that to someone and leave them wondering.


Oh, just one date? Nevermind then...

No heart to break at that point, so text is fine


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## Chuck71

110% agree..... texting is not "communication" What takes an hour in text can be summed up in

a five-ten minute phone chat. "How r u" .... ever feel that shouldn't merit a response...

In meeting someone... it is connection and timing. Several times I have met a female and there was 

a definite connection.... but the timing was off (you work weekday / he works weekends, you work

7-3 / he works 12-8, you're an early bird / he's a night owl, etc...).

Now had the two of you had a "OMG my heart stopped" meeting.... chances are both of you would have

sacrificed much more to be together. Thing is.... many people expect the "OMG my heart stopped"

every time they meet a potential mate...... doesn't happen. Timing is probably the hardest.....

throw in co-parenting with children and it is that much more difficult. Even if two people work 

same schedule.... throw in joint child custody.... one would need a PhD in planning.

You thought something might be there..... now you think otherwise. You feel bad about how he took

things. That's called empathy. On TAM.... there is a fine line between putting yourself first

and being selfish. No one can see this fine line but..... you.

"BNW.... she didn't make enough time for him, all she cared about was herself, she did not see things

from his perspective" OR "BNW made several attempts to plan a time for both to no avail, she tried 

to take his schedule into consideration" See?

Somewhat like the difference in sarcasm and anger. I did stand up back in my college years......

yes I am sarcastic. Many times it is met with laughter.... until I touch a nerve with xxxxx. Then I'm 

suddenly angry....... Really!!!


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## RandomDude

For just one date?

BTW the topic title is decieving, one date is NOT a casual relationship...

OP did text him, if he wanted closure (if there even is such a thing after ONE date!!!) he would have called, but he just probably read it and forgot about her all together. 

In fact, I don't get why OP is so concerned about him disappearing. It's one date, didn't work out, he's gone to the next one. What's the big deal?


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## gouge_away

Yeah I'm all about the timing isn't right, I work swing shifts, many good first dates have been put to rest just because I don't have the time, and I like (no, love) my job too much.


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## IDon'tKnowAnymore

A couple of months ago some a****** dude broke off a three month relationship with me by text. 
He didn't have the balls to face me. It was weak and cowardly. And I still haven't gotten closure.
It took me a long time to move on. And I am moving on, but forgiving him for the way he treated me is not an easy task.


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## FormerSelf

I hate texting!!
I have a friend (platonic, but she wants more) who I get along with very well whenever I hang out with her...but she saves all of of her deep emotional communication to share on effing text. It throws me off and when I don't respond how she'd like or if I "take too long" to respond...she has a flipping meltdown. It was getting to the point where I felt pressured to always have my cell at my side and have to be insanely careful about my phrasing on text...which still have been largely misconstrued. 
I called her on the behavior and it had not gone over well. LOL


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## Chuck71

I do not text period.... unless you count back chat on FB. 90% of mine are to guy friends....

from my experience 98% of the confusion in how a text was meant.... is when I am chatting

with a female on FB. Since I started dating back in November, there have been several females state, "If you don't

text / have smart phone I can't see a relationship here." My reply..... keep on a' walkin'

Maybe it's just me but.... I got by perfectly fine without smart phones / apps, as did everyone else

Just because Apple or Verizon "say we NEED" whatever new phone coming out is... doesn't mean we actually DO

Sorry end rant


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## FeministInPink

@Chuck71, fair enough--but sometimes, a text works really well. When you have a quick question, just want to pop in and out, it's great.

Other than that, I like your philosophy. I like texting, but I like actual conversations more.


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## Chuck71

FiP..... I'm sure that would be. I usually have to do that myself in emails..... which is the same thing as texting.

I guess what makes me SMDH is when a family of eight - ten people come into a restaurant and if not all,

all but one or two are glued to that phone. A nude model could walk by and no one would notice.

Course I'm sure my grandparents said the same thing about television in the 1960s.

I just don't have a reason to get one and I would also have to justify paying $50-100 month for it.

If I worked in certain jobs.... say real estate.... I can see a need for one.

I don't have anything against those who have them..... certain people just seem to knock me for not having one.


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## RandomDude




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## Chuck71

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## bravenewworld

RandomDude said:


> For just one date?
> 
> BTW the topic title is decieving, one date is NOT a casual relationship...
> 
> OP did text him, if he wanted closure (if there even is such a thing after ONE date!!!) he would have called, but he just probably read it and forgot about her all together.
> 
> In fact, I don't get why OP is so concerned about him disappearing. It's one date, didn't work out, he's gone to the next one. What's the big deal?


I agree there is probably a better word than "relationship." It was only one official date, but a month of daily texting (mainly initiated by him) gave the illusion it was more. 

I'm not concerned about him, just didn't expect the radio silence. It did re-affirm I made the right decision regarding. 

Totally over it and glad I had the courage to cut it off sooner rather than later. I know it sounds weird to some guys in here, but a lot of women were raised "to be nice" aka compliant and it can mess with your head even when looking out for your own best interests.


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## bravenewworld

Agree with a lot of people here regarding texting. It's fine to confirm plans or some other type of quick communication but SUCH a romance killer. Especially if the person is not a great writer. Daily "What are you up to?" texts get old.....fast.


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## Rowan

Yep, the "how are you today?" idle chit-chat texts get really, really, tedious after a while. I don't mind texting, by and large, but I just don't think it's a good way to try and have a real conversation about anything. My SO and I do text, but mostly just for quick stuff, exchanging funny memes, and the like. My fella isn't a big phone guy, so we tend to email a fair amount. We both find it easier to have something more like a real conversation via email than in text. 

And you're right bravenewworld. A lot of us women are raised to be "nice" at all costs, which can make it tough to feel good about it even when we're doing what's best for ourselves.


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## Dread Pirate Roberts

bravenewworld said:


> Agree with a lot of people here regarding texting. It's fine to confirm plans or some other type of quick communication but SUCH a romance killer. Especially if the person is not a great writer. Daily "What are you up to?" texts get old.....fast.


IDK. My girlfriend and I having been dating for over a year now. When we're not together, we "talk" via text and practically nothing else. It's been that way from the beginning. She just doesn't like talking on the phone, and other than calling my mom, I don't either. And believe me, there's no problem in the romance department. She was an English major and I am quite the cunning linguist, so maybe that has something do to with it.:grin2:

DPR


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## happyman64

brave

focus on you. Focus on your art and training.

And go to the restaurant whenever you feel like eating his food.

It is after all a brave new world. Go where you like and date whom you like.

HM


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## Hardtohandle

bravenewworld said:


> I agree there is probably a better word than "relationship." It was only one official date, but a month of daily texting (mainly initiated by him) *gave the illusion it was more*.


To who ? You ? Him ?
If you say HIM, I think you're making an assumption there.. Because either clearly it wasn't or he had enough restraint on to show it.. Either way his silence proves nothing.. 

My response would have been, Text message ? Reallly ?



bravenewworld said:


> I'm not concerned about him, just didn't expect the radio silence. It did re-affirm I made the right decision regarding.


You were both busy and HE tried to keep it going.. I'm pretty sure he also knew you were BOTH busy.. But he tried to keep the fires burning.. He cared enough to keep in contact with you.. 

Then you texted him see you later ? What did you expect for him to do.. Chase you some more ? Turn it around for a second..

1. I date this nice girl. 
2. We are both busy and I know I have to keep initiating conversation with her most of the time.. She really doesn't try to reach out first.. 
3. She cuts me lose via a text message.. Wow lucky I didn't continue this. She reaffirmed me that what a coward she is.. 



> Totally over it and glad I had the courage to cut it off sooner rather than later. I know it sounds weird to some guys in here, but a lot of women were raised "to be nice" aka compliant and it can mess with your head even when looking out for your own best interests.


That's a personal problem.. 
I was raised to be nice.. But when my GF tried to break up with me via text message I was at her door in 10 minutes to call her out on it.. She didn't expect it and she back peddled and recanted.. I told her straight out.. You want to break up with me, not a problem. But have the fvcking balls to do it to my face.. Later on when cooler heads prevailed I asked her WTF she was thinking.. She said it straight out it, she was upset and it was easy to do it via text message.. But when she seen me she realized it wasn't right and a mistake to say. So in all reality if I didn't go over to confront her and just said fvck it myself.. We could have been done or carried on to a larger drawn out fight/argument.. So I actually quelled the fight by going over to confront her.

Its really easy to fire off a message and not face someone in person.. It's like firing a cannon from a mile away.. You don't see who you're killing.. But infantry, up in front pointing a gun at someone is a different issue.. You have to look at someone's face when you shooting them. 

You can make all the excuses you want to make yourself feel better.. 

But he was trying and you shot him down via text.. The only worse thing than that was to block him all together. Texting is pretty cheesy.. 

Why would he feel the need to text you why or Okay.. So you can classify him as a stalker or needy ?.. I am sure he has been around the block a few times and knows better.. 

Is it too hard to image or phantom that he realizes it was just one date and he tried and just moved on and found it not worth responding to your weak text message break up of sorts.. 

Remember guys for the most part are used to rejection.. They might try a bit more, but for the most part the average single man is used to being rejected.. 

The would sell rope and razors in woman's bathroom if women got rejected as much as men do.

And yes I work a 12 hour day and take care of 2 boys and a relationship. 

Nutshell don't cut someone loose via text message regardless. It's flat and unemotional. Text messages are great for misunderstandings and fights.. 

You didn't kill anyone but we are all human beings we ALL deserve better..


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## MRR

WorkingOnMe said:


> You probably (hopefully) haven't been paying attention to the red pill, pua stuff that gets posted around here, but I think he pulled a pua tactic on you. He went dark on purpose thinking that if you ever get together later you'll be all over him. Just my guess anyway.


I would not call it a tactic even if it is part of dating advice/coaching. I mean...

he tells her he WANTS to see her and she tells him:

"I understand, seems like we are both really busy. Right now I don't feel like I have anything to give in regards to dating. There's a lot going on right now in my life and I need to focus on that." 

I would take that as flat out rejection, fluffed up by the OP to try to NOT feel badly about it. 

I don't think he owes it to her to make her feel better for rejecting him, especially when her message is in direct response to a message from him stating he WANTS to see her.


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## Phil Anders

Being busy was a dodge; if you hadn't felt annoyed by his mundane texts and the attraction hadn't "fizzled on your end" you would've appreciated his effort to stay in touch and made time to see him. 

When ending things I understand it's a delicate line between brutal frankness and tactful, read-between-the-lines blow-off. But you can't be that kind of "insincere polite" and then expect to dictate his response as well (let alone pretend that his silence "affirms" anything). If you'd said, "Honestly, I'm just not feeling a spark here," without hiding behind the very scheduling problem he was trying to address, you might have received the kind of response you hoped for.


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## dadstartingover

bravenewworld said:


> Hmm. I hadn't thought about it that way, but you are probably right. I definitely felt it was odd he couldn't even respond with an "I understand, nice meeting you."


You were looking for closure. That's a big thing. It allows you to breathe a little easier and move on with the next chapter. Now you're left kinda hanging. 

He's probably a needy guy (the uber gentleman stuff up front and repeated texting is a giveaway) who has heard more than a dozen times that he is really nice and all that... but just not doing it for the woman he is dating. Him not replying with a respectful "I appreciate the honesty. Good luck to you!" is his way of pouting.


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## phillybeffandswiss

Out of curiosity, what are your ages? If I've learned anything about texting, age leads to all types of different generational based responses


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