# New here! need help please



## ahaider

I don't know what to do but I'm reaching out to see if someone has any ideas what I can do with my situation:

I was married for 2 years and filed for a divorce in December of 2019 in NH. This was a no-fault marriage and my ex wanted me to continue the green card sponsorship process but I couldn't do so since I'd filed for a divorce and it would amount to marriage and immigration fraud. Somehow her attorney in NY thought it was a good idea to do that but I was advised against it. I am an immigrant myself and know how tricky these matters can be. After this - since there was always a threat for which I do have proof - my ex counter sued me for divorce as a means for gaining resources. I had a temporary hearing in August of 2020 - 30 minutes - in which the judge came in saying 'there seems to be a need here' and never veered off that course. She portrayed herself as destitute and me being a bad guy and thus needs alimony. The judge went beyond even what she's asked for and awarded her full alimony and arrearage that amounted to 5220/month. I've been paying this amount for a woman who already holds a masters degree and claims that she can't work because "she's an international student"; this is also a misstatement as I was once a student and I worked. 30 minutes was too short a time and my attorney, I'll admit, was well below par. But there were some obvious facts that this judge did not take into account.
Now I am stuck with paying this exorbitant amount which is amounting to almost 70% of my after tax salary as my company is now struggling because I am part of sales and not making a good commission. I'm not even getting a trial date and I've already paid out 31000 in 5 months and can't do anything with my own money and life in order to move on.
Can someone help here with some ideas as to how I can get a trial or any other ideas are welcome. Please let me know. Thanks


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## Trident

I feel for ya man. You were used by your wife and abused by the courts.

I've been there- stuck it out through 3 years, 4 attorneys and over $100k in legal fees but I've rebuilt everything I lost. 

You'll get there, I just can't tell you how without spending big bucks on a competent attorney.


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## D0nnivain

You need a lawyer. When you marry an immigrant, US immigration law mandates that you pay to keep them above the poverty line when you divorce, no matter your resources or any personal agreement not to pay alimony. This is matter of FEDERAL law not state divorce laws. It's very complicated & not something you can tackle yourself. Nobody on a message board can give you meaningful advice.


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## ahaider

D0nnivain said:


> You need a lawyer. When you marry an immigrant, US immigration law mandates that you pay to keep them above the poverty line when you divorce, no matter your resources or any personal agreement not to pay alimony. This is matter of FEDERAL law not state divorce laws. It's very complicated & not something you can tackle yourself. Nobody on a message board can give you meaningful advice.


So I'm on my second attorney. The first one was immigration and, supposedly, "family law" as well, although I seriously doubt both his credentials as he just was incompetent. His immigration practice had 5 star reviews. Currently, I'm just being milked through the divorce court and hasn't become a federal matter yet because I haven't received any notice. I don't believe I signed any "affidavit of support" (I think this is what you're referring to). She was desperate to get a green card so she filed it without it. 
What I need help with is if you have any idea if I can get a quick court date some how? I've written to the senators office so they can help if possible. Any ideas would help?


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## ahaider

Trident said:


> I feel for ya man. You were used by your wife and abused by the courts.
> 
> I've been there- stuck it out through 3 years, 4 attorneys and over $100k in legal fees but I've rebuilt everything I lost.
> 
> You'll get there, I just can't tell you how without spending big bucks on a competent attorney.


Was yours a short term marriage? I just need to get a conclusion on it. I do have a "good" attorney now... he apparently has a 5 star avvo trail and lots of good reviews and charges me for every letter he writes and I've asked him if there's a way and he keeps saying I just have to wait. This is outrageous what is happening.


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## Trident

My marriage was 16 years.


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## D0nnivain

ahaider said:


> What I need help with is if you have any idea if I can get a quick court date some how? I've written to the senators office so they can help if possible. Any ideas would help?


Nobody can get a quick court date these days. Many states had a 1-2 year backlog before Covid. In states where court is not fully open & operating on a virtual or hybrid basis, the backlog has grown to 4-5 YEARS because it takes so much longer to do everything virtually. As I understand it only domestic violence is moving because that can't wait. Resources are being dumped into the criminal matters because defendants have a constitutional right to a speedy trial. When the moratoriums on landlord tenant matters & foreclosures come off, there will be a whole new tidal wave of matters needing to be addressed. In the grand scheme of that human misery, divorce is at the bottom of the totem poll. Maybe your senator can get you a special favor but unless that person can magically clone more judges & increase courthouse space 10 fold so people can sit 6 feet apart (not an option in courthouses built in the 1800s) you may be stuck


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