# My partner of 10 years left me and i feel so lost



## SoSADD (Oct 15, 2011)

I was with my partner for 10years, we met when i was 16 and have been together since. We have two children. We have not had a perfect relationship and we have been through so much. I was doing some cleaning last week and i came across an old boyfriends pictures, a guy that i dated when i was 15 and it was a long distance relationship. So that guy and i broke up years ago and i have not spoken to him since. So i was going to throw out the pictures but i completely forgot. My partner found them and left me because he thinks that i'm cheating. Before he left me he told me that he always had his suspicions but i have never cheated on him. I have been fully dedicated to the relationship. He does not want to hear me out and it kills me inside because i thought that after 10 years together he would be more understanding. I know i screwed up by keeping those pictures for so long but i forgot i had them. I feel completely alone and feel like i'm losing myself.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Offer to take a polygraph.
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## SoSADD (Oct 15, 2011)

i told him i would be willing to do anything to prove to him that i'm not cheating. i have never done anything for him to think that. I have absolutely no friends , i go to school and come straight home. If i'm not with him then im at my mothers, i dont go out like people my age do. i have been dedicated to him and to our kids.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

His reaction seems extreme for just finding a picture. Are there other details your not sharing?
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## SoSADD (Oct 15, 2011)

Hes always accused me of cheating even though i don't go anywhere. That is the reason i have no friends because when i did have friends and went out with them he always thought that i was going to see some guy. Like i said before i have never cheated on him he, on the other hand he did cheat on me on multiple occasions and i forgave him for it. This man is the only one i have ever been with, we have been together since i was 16. As teenagers we had many problems and he wasn't the nicest bf but i have moved on from all of that and forgave him for all hes done. He put me through hell and i still stuck around because i love him. I had a facebook account and closed it because he didn't like that i had one, he would say that i was going on to talk to guys even though that wasn't the case. I have done everything i can to make him happy and i have never done anything to hurt him, so i don't understand why he would throw everything away over some silly pictures and a misunderstanding. I don't know maybe its a problem within himself, whatever it is its causing me a lot of pain.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Cheaters are often the most paranoid of all.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sod (Aug 20, 2011)

I agree that cheaters are paranoid but he also sounds very immature and insecure. You are his wife, not possession and you should be entitled to have your own friends and outlets without someone giving you guilt for doing so. Part of marriage is about trust and if that is not there then its probably on a road to doom. Affairs of any sort are destructive in a marriage and should never be tolerated but only you can determine if you want to forgive and forget


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Your husband is off the wall.
Does he think you're cheating with some 15 year old kid?

I have photo albums full of ex's stashed in a box in a closet. 
My wife has seen them and doesn't have a problem.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## moreno11 (Oct 16, 2011)

It is honorable of you to remain so loyal and by his side after all the unjust things he's done to you. While this may be hard now, it will pass. It seems like he's done you and your children a favor. Why would you want to have a man around whom your children watch acting as such? This may cause your children to seek out people like him or turn them into someone like him. i know you love him and that is why it is hard, but, you are still young and a broken heart is the wisest teacher you'll ever encounter. I'm not sure if you've ever experienced your heart broken by deep love, but, if this is your first, you will get through it- so many people do and you are most likely not that different. Take your attention to your kids and nurturing good things for them and around them, focus on building friendships, enhancing your relationship with family, and ensure to exercise plenty- sweat!. He does not seem like a healthy man for you. He also needs to find himself, you too married so young in a time when experiences, options, and stimuli, are abundant. It is unfortunate, that he lacks the ability to express his frustration in a more constructive way, and perhaps he saw this photo instance as a way out. i don't know. but stay strong soSADD.


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## SoSADD (Oct 15, 2011)

He didn't take the time to really look at the picture. The back of the picture was dated 2000. I'm now just having thoughts that maybe he didn't really love me as much as he said he did. If he did love me then he would at least hear me out, you would think that after 10 years he would trust me and take the time to talk about the problem not just pack up and leave. I'm sorry if i'm coming off as a little crazy but it drives me up the wall that he just decides that our relationship is over from one day to another. He says he can't trust me and again i explain to him that the pictures are super old but he does not believe me. I seriously feel like my heart is being ripped out, and i'm just completely shocked at the way hes handling this whole situation. I on many occasions found pictures and letters of his ex and i never had an issue because that's in the past. I feel completely alone because i have no one to talk to. He was my best friend and now that hes not here i feel lost.


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

You wrote "partner" -- does this mean you're not married?

Any kids?

You're still young, in your mid-20's. Lots of life still ahead.


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## SoSADD (Oct 15, 2011)

No we were not married but sure feels like we were. We have to children together. I'm 27 years old.


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

I reread your posts. I missed the part about 2 children.

I think your partner overreacted about the pictures, especially if there's nothing going on between your ex-boyfriend and you.


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## Shamwow (Aug 15, 2011)

Sorry, I know you love him, but he does not love you, nor has he treated you like he does, sounds like since day one. The fact that he's cheated several times over the years, yet feels the need to cast YOU as the one to be suspicious of is riduiculous (though apparently normal for cheaters).

Let him go. Take care of your kids. Don't text him, call him, or ask hium to come back and fix things. He needs to realize what he's lost. Sounds like you do most of the heavy lifting in your relationship, take care of him, do your best to make him feel loved...take that away from him and just focus on you, and be there for your kids. He'll come running.

Question is if you'll want him back by that time. Don't sell yourself short, there are plenty of guys out there who will NOT bar you from having friends or any life of your own, cheat on you, or make you feel like ewverything he does is your fault.


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