# Boyfriend of 8 years suddenly feels trapped.



## Vita. (Aug 27, 2012)

Our relationship has had it's fair share of problems (we both had our own emotional issues). Our relationship was very passionate and we were extremely close. We took a break before, and he became very depressed pleading me to come back to him. Lately, he's probably what I would say been at the most content/happy I've seen him. 
Recently my boyfriend has been becoming annoyed with little things I do. I asked him about it and he assured me "he's stressed about work...ect". He's also been complaining about spending money on me.
We have been planning to move in recently. I am in between jobs and didn't want to until I found a steady job to help out. He told me that he wanted/needed me to be there (move in) more than the extra income. 

Within the past few days, he tells me he wants to break up and that he feels suffocated/trapped and wants out. I could see in his eyes that he wants me to leave him alone. He tells me he no longer is in love with me and he is sorry. I have been faithful and we have a mutual agreement that we will not check out/look at porn (he actually insisted on this). I have lived up to it. However, he confessed to me (breaking down) that not only has he been looking at porn, but checking out other women. 
I offered him forgiveness, and that we can work on it (which is something I would not normally do).
He still wants out. I am almost certain he hasn't met anyone else. He tells me he can't stay with me because he feels he is tempted of what another relationship will be like, but unsure if he wants to date.
What the heck is going on.


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## Vita. (Aug 27, 2012)

*EDIT* he was also seemed to have an obsession with me and was extremely needy and clingy.


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## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

He is losing his feelings it seems like. Rejoice in the times you had together do not feel this is the end there are other people. 

best of luck


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## Vita. (Aug 27, 2012)

Thank you for the reply. I know no one knows the answer besides him (I've straight out asked him and he says "he doesn't know" he just gave me a bunch of mixed answers)

I have left, but I still can't help wondering what caused this. It was less than 2 weeks ago when everything was seemingly decent.


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## ShawnD (Apr 2, 2012)

Vita. said:


> Recently my boyfriend has been becoming annoyed with little things I do. I asked him about it and he assured me "he's stressed about work...ect".


He might be telling the truth. I remember having a few jobs that I passionately hated, and they affected every part of my life. 7am to 5pm felt like life was being wasted away. I would play games all evening then go to bed too late, and the next day would feel worse because then I was tired and doing a job that sucks. Even the weekends were affected because each minute passing was a minute closer to going back to a crappy job. Is your bf a person who plans things years in advance? It seems like long term planners have the most trouble with jobs. The men who only think 1 hour ahead can have work a crappy job all day then cut loose and have fun in the evenings. Planners like me are not satisfied until we have jobs we like. I wasn't happy until I switched careers. 



> He's also been complaining about spending money on me.


See above paragraph. When $15 represents an hour of work at a job I hate, it's suddenly a lot of money. Everything seems too expensive. Every penny represents a certain amount of time that I've thrown away.

Switching careers isn't the easiest thing in the world, so most people end up taking drugs to deal with it. In the Good Old Days, people would smoke: nicotine is an effective antidepressant. While smoking has been in decline for the past few decades, the use of prescription antidepressants has steadily increased. Strange how that works. It's almost like humans are naturally depressed and drugs are an important part of every society. Hopefully he gravitates toward the legal ones rather than the illegal ones.


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## Vita. (Aug 27, 2012)

He's been pretty loaded with work lately. But I think I've been understanding about that. He does however seem to enjoy his field of work.
I guess it doesn't really matter, but for some reason I felt like it was somewhat of an excuse to break the relationship off. He's always clung to me during "hard times"


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

> I have been faithful and we have a mutual agreement that we will not check out/look at porn (he actually insisted on this).


So, he insisted on this (weird thing for a guy to do) and then he failed? This dude has some serious under the hood issues.


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## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

Sometimes, people just change and grow apart. At least he is being honest instead of cheating. Just let him go. If he changes his mind and you still want him, you can take him back, but if you try to convince him to stay, it will definitely be bad for you both.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Eight years is quite a lot of time to invest into something with diminishing returns.......
Very soon you will be emotionally drained.
If he feels trapped and want's out ,
Then show him the door.
Maybe its time you invested in yourself , and perhaps find an new boyfriend who can help fulfil your needs.


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