# Emotionally selfish?



## babyblues7 (Aug 28, 2007)

My husband the other day said that I was emotionally selfish. This is true, I think. I have a hard time opening up to him and telling him things. He never seems interested or listens at all when I do talk, so I kind of just do my own thing. 

Also, he talks to women on the internet and has phone sex with them. We dont have an awesome love life by any means but that is so inappropriate and everytime I think we are starting to do better I find that he as been on the pc chatting or getting numbers. I dont know what else I can do, we have been going through this for awhile. I think I am numb to this because it doesnt bother me really, I have just shut down to him.

I guess I just want to know what I should do to make myself open up more to him and have a better marriage. Any advice would be appreciated, thanks.


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## JDPreacher (Feb 27, 2009)

If your husband is having phone sex and chatting with women on the net...who's to say he isn't having a physical affair as well? The lack of sex life would be one indicator...

But, if you're really looking to open up to him and you can't verbalize what you need to say...then write it down...send him an email...or maybe call him.

Preacher


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

babyblues7 said:


> Also, he talks to women on the internet and has phone sex with them. .


and you know this how?


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## babyblues7 (Aug 28, 2007)

I have his email password and he gets nude pictures of women from various sites that he visits.

I have also seen explicit texts between him and other women on his phone and have seen the same numbers show up on the cellphone bill as incoming calls. I used to have spyware on my pc as well, because he was always doing this and I wanted to know things that he wasnt telling me.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

Maybe you are emotionally selfish? What's his excuse!

I would be emotionally selfish as well if my H was having phone sex with others and ignoring my needs.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

babyblues7 said:


> I have his email password and he gets nude pictures of women from various sites that he visits.
> 
> I have also seen explicit texts between him and other women on his phone and have seen the same numbers show up on the cellphone bill as incoming calls. I used to have spyware on my pc as well, because he was always doing this and I wanted to know things that he wasnt telling me.



I'd print all that out and keep it somewhere safe ( for your future divorce).

Under the situation and if those things are true... NO WONDER YOU DONT GIVE A SHTYE.. who would ?
He is no husband... he is just a cheating jerk !


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

babyblues7 said:


> I guess I just want to know what I should do to make myself open up more to him and have a better marriage. Any advice would be appreciated, thanks.


i dont think you should make yourself open up to him. He might try and use this as an excuse for his behavior, but that's not right. 

first he stops this hurtful behavior, and then you talk about opening up to him.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

Blanca said:


> first he stops this hurtful behavior, and then you talk about opening up to him.



good point.:iagree:


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## NothingMan (Jul 16, 2009)

I think you should give him a big hug. He's already done the hard part by telling you (however not on purpose, but he did let you have his email password) that he isnt happy about his sex life and has been forced to go outside the bonds of marriage. Im sure he doesnt like doing it, I mean, who actually likes phone sex compared to the real thing.

Dont worry though sweety, just pray to god and he'll make everything ok.

Wait! my bad...this is a man cheating on a woman. Ok here's the real deal. Kick his ass out. Get a copy of all the times he's had cybersex or called these women cause when you go to divorce court (assuming you are not in a no-fault state) you can use it to really put the screws to him! Burn HIM! Burn HIM! He's a witch!


No seriously though...for him to be cheating on you for so long..I think it's time to kick him to the curb. Find a man who acts like a man and is willing to treat you like you should be treated. As if his life depended on your happiness together. Treat him the same way and you'll find marriage a much more enjoyable experience.




John


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## babyblues7 (Aug 28, 2007)

Thank you for your man's point of view...I wondered how other men felt about these types of things. 

He says he loves me and I feel like if he can do these things then he doesnt really love me. He is so immature, he is by no means a real man who takes care of business. Our sex life is in the shape that it is, because of his behaviour. I have left several times but this time I've been praying for God to help. I just want a man. A REAL man....lol


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