# Parent care and how to help them get it



## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

Not sure if this is the right forum for this, but not sure where else to put it, so, here goes....

My boyfriend's dad is 77 yrs old. He's a veteran, has high BP, COPD, and has had 5-6 strokes. He's living on his own right now, but has expressed that he thinks it's time he was in an assisted living facility and would like it to be closer to us (he currently lives about 80 or so miles away). 

I started checking into some facilities today. I found that most of them around us are going to run about $1800 a month, just for their fees, not including any extra money he might want for whatever. Between SS & his VA benefits, he only gets about $900 a month. He does have Medicare Part B through Humana. This means we would have to contribute almost $1000 a month, just for the facility fees, for him to be in one, which we can't do. I know from years ago that my grandmother got some additional state assistance to help cover the costs of being in an assisted living facility. I just have no idea how I would go about getting him the assistance. 

We live in FL, so if anyone who lives here or has lived here before and dealt with this can help me, I'd be so grateful. I just need to know where to go to get the assistance, and what information we would need to provide them with in order to get it. I'm sure the facilities would help us, but my concern is that they're going to want us to place him first, and we can't commit, even temporarily, to paying the additional fees. Money is just too tight for us. 

We've considered the possibility of having him live with us, as well, but it's not really an option. #1, right now we're living with my parents, and #2, we think we'd still need some kind of home health aide or something for him, and #3, we have 2 kids and he really likes his peace and quiet, which he's more likely to get in a facility than with us and the kids. 

So...any help, suggestions, even just words of support would be appreciated.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Glad you posted this because I need these answers too. My dad is 90 and has advanced Alzheimer disease. He is now in a nursing home. That bill is now up to over $5K a month. My mother is 86 and in okay shape (and lives right across the road). 

It is our understanding that VA will help with nursing home expenses. Also, someone told my brother that they knew of a case where VA paid for home health care. Have you checked into what all the VA does pay for? We are signing my Dad up for that, but I'm afraid it isn't going to be enough.

Have you filed with FL Medicaid for assistance? He may be eligible for help there, if they determine his income is below the poverty level. In addition, there are independently owned assisted living facilities which the state contracts with. My parents have too much property to qualify--but no money. It's a big problem.


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