# Does this mean he's not ready?



## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

My H and I are thinking about having a child. We are both 30 yrs old and working so we would need to hire a nanny. When we first started discussing having a child we thought we would plan to have one in about a year. I started looking up nannies, how to hire one, what it costs, etc. I asked what his opinion was on what to pay, what we should look for in a nanny and he said, "Don't you think it's a littler early to be looking at that stuff?" I dont think it's too early. We are both really busy so I thought it would be better to start looking now so we dont need to feel rushed when the time comes, which I told him. I was hurt and told him as much and then I dropped the baby talk since it didnt seem to me he was serious about it. 

Then a few weeks ago he starts saying again that he wants a baby. He keeps saying, "I really want a family." This time he says, "I think we can afford a nanny right now. We could try for kids right now." I said, "We should work out how much it will cost exactly and look into hiring a nanny first before we try to get pregnant." He agreed but that was three days ago and he hasnt brought up looking up nannies at all. He comes home and watches X-men all night.

He repeatedly says he wants kids but that's all he does. I always thought a child required a lot of planning especially since we live far from any family and we both work. Does this mean he's not really ready or am I being too obsessed with planning?


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

Hi M22  My H and I have worked through most of our issues. We still have some boundary issues but I think we're doing well. Thanks for asking. I also think it's way too early to interview nannies, etc. I was just interested in what he thought was important in a nanny, which he thought was too early to discuss. I dont think its ever too early to discuss that. 

After thinking about it this week, though, I think he's really bothered by hiring a nanny. He feels like the nanny would replace me and that the nanny would be the mom. He mentioned that he feels like I dont want to mother our children and so I'm getting a 'mom' for them. It is likely that that is why he hasn't brought it up. Either way I guess I'll just wait until he does bring it up.


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