# When is enough, enough?



## justmekb (Jul 19, 2012)

This is my first post and I’m hoping somebody can offer some insight. My husband and I have been married 14 ½ years; we knew each other for 6 month before we got married. I have not really loved him in 12 years; I was just trying to make it work for the kids who are now 12, 14, 16. 

He has always threatened divorce when he is angry, been emotionally cruel, we are basically roommates. I go to counseling at the veteran’s hospital about 3 hours from where I live and I have tried to work on my marriage, amongst other issues, through this counseling. A note here- he has always complained about the cost of gas for me to go to these appointments once a month.

Last year when he said he wanted a divorce I said ok; I guess this threw him because he suggested we work on it and get counseling. He never made the appointment, which was one of the terms set, and we are miserable still. 

I’m done arguing, the kids feel the stress. I told him I am moving out. He was in tears yesterday and once again said we should work on it and get counseling. I don’t want to. I am excited to move on. Excited to find me again and not keep trying to conform to this man who will never be happy with me.

My question is (because we all knew there was one in the mumbo jumbo LOL): After 14 years have I tried enough? Part of me says to keep trying so nobody gets hurt. The other part says trying is just putting off the happiness we all deserve.


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## C123 (Jun 20, 2012)

Is there any part of you that wants to stay in this marriage?

I think your answer is "no", and that means it's time for you to pull the trigger.

People are going to get hurt. Your kids will have a hard time with it, but they will be better off in the long run having a mommy who is happy rather than living with and being around two unhappy, arguing parents. Kids complain about unhappy parental marriages the rest of their lives. Do them and yourself a favor and get out of the marriage you don't want to be in.

Your husband will act hurt and he might make the divorce process difficult, but frankly, it will be best for him too.

Best of luck. Go call a lawyer today.


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## ImStillHere (Apr 25, 2012)

It sounds like you two have been arguing and you went to IC. But what else have you tried? Why didn't you make the appointment for MC?


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