# Crossroads III: The Launch



## Chuck71

Previous threads

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-through-divorce-separation/61735-normal-fell-way.html

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-through-divorce-separation/64013-crossroads-sink-swim.html

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/life-after-divorce/68462-crossroads-ii-way.html

Crossroads III: The Launch

Anyone recall how you felt when you first rode a bicycle? We all were scared to death at first, we might fall. Falling is the worst thing in the world, but is it? We ride, we fall but we get back on that damn bike. We get scared to go over 10mph yet not long after, we are topping 50-60mph. What if you fall then..... what if you don't though? Is it "No Fear," fear, or some fear.

Few things have occurred over the last 4-5 months. I'll try to touch on a few. Save a few for later. I am engaged to be married this July. She is from Russia, 23, wants to toast a fifth of Vodka on our honeymoon. She said all she wants is seven kids, endless Vodka, hammer, sickle, and a tractor. Just kidding..... Seriously.... I have had to say goodbye to a few long term friends. One was a female, not my former IC / best female friend but both of us know this female. She and I hung out often way back in the day. We actually went out once 25 years ago, her cousin came along.... we all had a blast! But this gal thought I was flirting with her younger cousin.... I actually had an interest in this female friend but she had it in her mind I wanted her cousin. Still... later on... year / two later we did hang out in groups. She met a guy and for a number of years, she wasn't allowed to stay in touch with any of her friends..... even her female friends. They divorced... shocker huh?

They separated about a year before XW and I started our spiral. I would back chat with her (XW / Window Cork knew, even told her to talk to WC.... y'know females can relate to each other, etc.) while she went through her divorce. Well... until she decided to bang all the guys she could and well, offered it up to me. I declined, told WC and stopped back chatting. I guess a year passed.... she heard about my separation. We back chatted some.... she had started seeing a guy who wasn't ready yet but she kept pressuring him and she couldn't understand why he was pulling away (DUH). The first sign of me wanting to pull back and cut her off was her statement -Boy you don't let the damn ink dry before you're seeing another female- ... Yes I was seeing UG / 4th love before the D final. My reply -That's awful funny given the fact you were screwing guys not only before you were D, not only before you filed, not only before your D-Day but only after you told him 'yawl have issues.'- Enter her anger dump and my WTFE reply.

Fast forward to late 2014. Anyone remember CalGal? They worked for the same organization but different locales. She was pizzed at her "pretend b/f" (he wouldn't commit but wanted to date) and when she heard about me / CalGal, she was telling me how I "mistreated her and used her" and my reply.... just as how your pretend b/f does you huh? I don't do anger dumps. Another rant.... I stated -you are entitled to your opinion and so am i- I did not defriend her but I stopped back chatting with her. This was just after her learning UG and I split. When she asked what happened, I told her UG and I are through, I wanted it to work but she thought just showing up was enough and we agreed she needed to move out. Here it came.... you are so insensitive, you use people, you are making her homeless. My reply.... Just because you are pizzed at your pretend b/f does not give you any damn right to dump your schit on me a$$hole. She always likes to get the last word in but "I'm sorry you feel that way" does shut her up. After these two recent incidences... I was very tempted to defriend but out of respect for our long term friendship, I just stopped chatting with her. Oh... why was she mad? Her pretend b/f's Christmas gift to her was a NHL game in Nashville.... his favorite team. I could see why she was upset but.... dump on him, not me. 

The last straw came around January.... my former IC / best female friend was just told about me having cancer and "ibedamned" she run off and told her. I'm a private person.... just because I tell someone something doesn't mean I want it on the damn airwaves. If I want people to know, I WILL TELL THEM. Anyway... we spoke for the first time in back chat in over a year. She asked about 1st love (thanks former IC), me... and mom. She had messaged me when she learned about mom back in September (again thanks former IC) but I never responded. She was upset I set up boundaries with my mom (her mom died around 15 years prior) and called me out. That was it for me.... to para-phrase "You unleash your anger on others because your own life is miserable and turned upside down and a 25 year friend would give support and empathy in times of turmoil. You have not done this at all for a good while. Best we call it now. Have a nice life." Defriended and blocked. 25 year friends you can count on one hand most of the time.... but it was long overdue.

The other who I had to walk away from was my high school / college running buddy. We were best friends.... we were very close for years. Females probably can't understand this dynamic but guys... you know exactly what I'm talking about. We would drag race, drink, hang out.... we even double dated when myself and 1st love were together and his future W (and XW) was close friends with 1st love. I was best man at his wedding in '92. He (we can call him TB) was there when 1st love and I broke up the first time back in '90.... first time 2nd love and I broke up in '94.... which was exactly when he and his W separated. The Fall '94 was rough for both of us... but we did learn..... what about doing the crazy stuff we used to do. No we weren't arrested but we probably should have a few times..... 

He ended up dating an older woman the next year.... one he at first despised. Then she's moving in with him. I was -WTFH- We still hung out... until his new g/f began to get jealous and asked if we were -"butt buddies"- LOL I told him just do what you need to do if she's jealous and we can hang out after that schit goes away. We would hang out later but at his / her place. His g/f heard our old war stories and was scared if we started hanging out again *eyeroll* The main nail came a long time ago.....

In 1997 I was looking to invest in a duplex. I told TBs 2nd W about it (she just started selling real estate) and she said "when you find what you like, call me" YEAH..... this other guy in real estate busted his arse finding me something in my price range and...... he got the buyer. When I told TB.... he put his W on the phone and yes.... I got an ass chewing. I had her put TB back on.... "Your W sat on her GDamn dead arse and was not going to do a thing until I.....I found something, then walk in and get her commission. Is THAT what you and her think of me?" TB wanted to say something but I'm sure I knew who was standing right beside him tapping her feet. This action caused enough damage.... it never was even remotely close to how things were between us. 

We did talk quite a bit when I was considering D'ing WC back in 2002. We chatted for hours one night after my 2012 D-Day. We did chat.... just nothing like before....they had no kids (hers were teens when they met). He eventually got into real estate... and when we would talk, every time he would approach me on a "deal of a lifetime." To me.... you don't do that type of schit to a "blood brother." It wasn't once or twice... it was every damn time. 
We were chatting one day and I told him about my mom. Within five minutes, -deal of a lifetime- "Y'know TB... we were and in some ways will always be blood brothers but I am so Gdamn sick and tired of your angles. You know what pop did so I'm the last person you want to try and shovel BS through. See it for what it is... take care." 

Cutting him out.... hurt... 100x more than the female I mentioned. The difference is... I am 110% done with the female friend, regardless. I'd still answer a call from TB at 4AM or if he showed up at my door in the middle of the night. That's where the blood comes in.... 

Are you here to help me or hinder me.... or as in TBs case... or to view me as a walking commission payout?


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## Blondilocks

Are you drunk? If not, what is the point of this thread, please?


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## Chuck71

Ummmm.... reflection. Thanks for your input.....


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## Blondilocks

Thanks. Just a thought - I've found it wise to always tell someone when I'm speaking in confidence. Otherwise, people enjoy sharing news (gossiping).


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## Chuck71

Have you read any of my past threads? I don't exactly give information in an orderly fashion. Why? It is my thread. This is what I chose for the first post.... you don't like it, start a thread saying how wrong I was.

I do not suit / tailor my threads for anyone's benefit but my own. What's wrong... no drama involved? No cheating? Oh wait.... just simple emotion. But that doesn't make Entertainment Tonight now does it?

IDGAF.... Obviously I am not here for your amusement... or others with like minded thoughts. Simply peruse other threads and....... traverse along.


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## Blondilocks

No problem. This is a message board, though, not a journal.


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## Chuck71

That's awful funny..... I have seen thousands of people call their threads journals. Many were recommended to in their early stages by..... posters already here! WOW! 

Some stay on the same thread forever. Some choose to close out old threads and start new ones. Problem with users doing this?

Saying goodbye to two old friends meant a lot to me, obviously it did not mean a thing to you. Your prerogative... no need to bash those who feel it was important. View topics in LaD over the past six months...

There will be much touched on..... my FWBs, a new perspective on my parents, the disinigration of my relationship with my mom -which was great for 40+ years, financial issues, just to mention a few.

But no cheating, no spouse sneaking under the stairway to get some while the other is glued to Dancing with the Stars. Sorry I could not bring enough drama to suit your / whoever else's needs.


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## hope4family

Subbing to the "journal". 

Sometimes rehashing memory is necessary to grow, so that when they come up again, you can handle the negative implications better.


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## Chuck71

It took a bit of time but I was able to become C, F, D with mom. Her outbursts still have the same six week pattern. She still tries to tell me what her worthless sister is doing but not as often. Mom still has trouble keeping any type of food down. This makes her very wary of eating in public. For her birthday I offered to either cook or get to-go anything she wanted. I was held up in traffic and was about 20 minutes late getting to her place. "xxxxx (ex aunt) is going to be here in a minute with some food." I looked at her with a WTF emotion. "You have to be schitting me."

I hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, wished her a happy birthday and said we can celebrate tomorrow. She was upset I was leaving. I made it 110% clear.... I have no desire to be around her sister. Mom is very aware of this. I have no clue why mom did this.... she doesn't either. She had a semi-outburst but understood why and where I stand with ex aunt. Ex aunt must have a new phone #, she called me later that evening. VM..... g/f screened it, blocked her new #. Some people just need repetition before they understand.

On a good note, Mother's Day was very nice. Again mom is wary of going anywhere. She wanted fast food (has better chance of keeping it down)... not exactly my choice but it was her day. She asked me to stop at a "knic-nac" store... went in and was almost the person she was pre-heart attack and mini strokes. I would love to hold out the hope of her getting back to her old self but.... that is a fool's game. She has moments of clarity and I try to be there when they take place. Her main problem is short term memory, she still recalls instances 30, 50 years ago. This is common with people in her condition.

I was enjoying the positive rapport we were having but.... was just waiting for her next outburst. She called an ambulance and was admitted into the hospital. The fact she could not successfully eat was again irritating her. She felt her PCP was not doing enough to find out why (she changed PCPs... I tried to get her to back in November, took her until March to do it). Told her to call me if she needs me for anything. Next day.... was going to visit her, she told me her sister was up there. I told her I will come by when she leaves. When mom called she was upset, she run her sister off and told me it was best I didn't come.... being she was upset and she remembered how she acted towards me the last time she was in ICU. She called me later that night to tell me to be ready to come pick her up the next morning after they run a test.

I'm not a Dr. but I don't think they dismiss you from ICU, you get a room for a day or so, then dismiss. I called her nurse and she stated they were planning on keeping her for a few days to run several tests. I knew a dark cloud was forming. The fact mom called eight times through the night trying to tell me they dismissed her.... at 2AM....was all the proof I needed. Around 11AM.... the nurse called, asking me to come up and try to calm her down. I flat out told her no. The nurse was shocked. I told the nurse if I come up there, mom will get worse because I don't take her schit, I'll just leave. I did ask if a 4'7 Co-D, passive-aggressive, 4x divorcee troll has been up there. She knew exactly who I was talking about. Mom's Dr. (not PCP) called me, told me these tests are important but could not sedate her. So in other words, she was now, my problem. LSS..... I came to get her and take her back to her apartment.

When I arrived, I learned mom had called the nurse a "[email protected] tease" and a "bleach blonde bimbo"..... mom also said the nurse pulled up a wedding pic of her and pop. Embarrassed to say the least. I walked towards her room..... four security guards were there. Then I saw Yoda.... my 5'4 lil pistol standing between two guys who had to be 6'7. Drove her home... while she screamed and cussed. NC for a few weeks.

Up to date.... she drove out to my place recently. Wanted to cook burgers. N/P ... I'll get what you need. Best @$%%^^^%$ burger I have had in ages. This... like my posts from 2015... are just re-connects, no re-captures. Within several weeks... it will be NC. Almost clockwork. But I really have enjoyed her clarity spells. "I thought you were crazy as he!! that one Christmas when all you said you wanted was to lay your head in my lap and watch Christmas cartoons and eat popcorn for Christmas.... like we did when you were little. I understand why you did that now."

Mom Psycho / Mom Socrates ..... still one in the same.


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## Chuck71

hope4family said:


> Subbing to the "journal".
> 
> Sometimes rehashing memory is necessary to grow, so that when they come up again, you can handle the negative implications better.


Just updating my thread since December. Thread, post, journal... all one in the same. A writer who does not reflect, damages his / her ability to utilize their talents. 

No matter how true or how long a friend has been... when they become more of a negative influence, one must act accordingly. My viewpoint on things have changed since I started my last thread... three years ago. New outlook, new thread. Not so hard to do.


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## 225985

Can you summarize your earlier threads in 4 or 5 sentences?


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## Chuck71

blueinbr said:


> Can you summarize your earlier threads in 4 or 5 sentences?


Well..... Is it Normal to Fell this Way and Crossroads Sink or Swim are from late 2012 to early 2013. Short, blunt, to the point. Somewhat like 50 and 150 posts total. Crossroads II is a bit different. I touch on my mom, dad, my childhood, issues with pop, my BSC adventures as a kid, my four loves, and my other 10-12 almost loves. Oh... and my journeys to "the lake." Why the lake? Ain't no ocean nearby or I'd be there. 

If you want relationship angles... check out the first two, mostly about my XW. If you want to know about "me" check out the last one. No drama, no BS, just simple truths. Well there was a bit of drama with 4th love but.... was accepted, mourned, dealt with.


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## bandit.45

Keep journaling bro. Don't let anyone dissuade you. Much of the same ruminations go on in my brain also. It's healthy.


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## Chuck71

bandit.45 said:


> Keep journaling bro. Don't let anyone dissuade you. Much of the same ruminations go on in my brain also. It's healthy.


Thanks Bandit and I would not let a few squawkers keep me from it. This is basically a continuation of the prior, just a different spin. May even post a bit about my novels. Bandit.... post here anytime..... sometimes a T/J is nice. 

The main reason I post here is to get crap off my chest. Do I tell my Hangover Crew everything..... no. Some more than others but... sometimes I'm sure they get tired of it.... just like I do one who always gripes about his boss. Here... you can read it, or not. Post on it, or not. Ignore it, or not.

Part of me thinks I am prepared and pre-accepted the fact... my mom is already gone. She is not who I knew for 40 years at all. God knows pop and I had more issues than Sports Illustrated but.... still hurt when he died. Up until last summer... she and I had a strong rapport, fought a bit but that's to be expected.

My FWB has been a great friend, a great ear for listening.... as I have been for her. It's time to either advance this or.... be FWNB. My lecturing gig ended back in December and it helped a lot in covering some of my doctoral expenses. After all the time off I took with mom... they did not ask me back for the Spring. Can't blame them..... but they didn't blame me either. Just bad timing.

There's a crack at the door.... just got to find out what it is.


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## Chuck71

Lawd.... busy last few months. Wanted to mention a couple females before I get to the new one. Had to end things with the FWB. I thoroughly enjoyed our time together. Nothing heavy, just being together and doing things we both liked. She never dragged me to an event that was "chick centered" so I never asked her to attend a car show, fishing shop, or a ball card convention. Psst.... Chuck.... ain't this the type of female most guys want? In a way, it was.... almost every time I spent the day push mowing two acres, there she was.... poured Scotch on the rox, chair laid out on the pool deck, take out from my fav Italian bistro, and as the daylight surrendered to the darkness of night.... full body massage. Yeah.... me gonna miss her!

It got to the point she "wanted" to become dependent on me. I'm not talking about checking her tires, making sure her oil is changed / tires rotated / killing bugs... She wanted to deposit her entire check into my account.... take over the bills, give her an allowance. Granted... male / female have varied roles for the most part in a relationship.... but I'm sorry.... I do not want one who wants ME to think for HER. Massive Co-D. "Your money earned is for you to do with.... we are not M, we are not even living together." I could have taken two weeks of her pay and told her to F-off...... I'm not that way. But there are ones who will and I can see that happening to her. She was 29 when we met in 2015. Yes she wanted kids.... but we never "clicked" .... I questioned her ability to raise children. But when it came to blo jobs, back rubs, Burns and Allen, Green Acres... yeah... was a blast. I had an interview with an upscale company back in the spring.... didn't get the job but on a Sunday, she went all over town (a town she was not familiar with) looking for something to match my "ensemble" .... Offered to, ask to...refused to use the cash I gave her. 

Just wasn't in the cards..... She is the type, if you won the lottery, you would set her up on a small trust each month just to help her get by or if she ever reaches individualism, to prosper. She would have fit in perfectly in my parent's generation.... if you had to break her heart.... and you cared.... it probably hurt you more than her. I hope we can remain friends.... but that is up to her. She was an ear piece when mom started her BSC behavior and her F'ed up sister stirring the pot. She was the one listening to the F'ed up VMs they left. We leaned on each other... kinda like what friends do. If we never speak, I truly wish for her to be as happy as she can, in or with whatever she chooses. 

Dated a female earlier this year, couple years behind me at same HS. She was friends with my ex running buddy's XW back then. Fresh off a D, 16 years, one child. Just started dating.... she was still angry. We spoke a lot in depth.... told her I clearly understand her anger (her H cheated.... for at least 9 months). We were never serious.... I refused to land in the "post-D anger dating stage." Yes it does make for great sex though! I will never forget her telling me about her rants on FB.... after she found out her STBXH was cheating...... "Everyone is allowed a dumb-a$$ action for every five years of M, you just had one.... you're fine." She quit work when their child became sick, her XH made much more $. He worked 60-80 hours, she cared for the child, SAHM, and watched after her mom who was dying. She felt embarrassed by not working but "Schit.... you were a W to your H, cared for child (scars on child I saw were proof), cared for your mom (her mom and mine had similar anger dumps). I dunno if I could have done that much." 

Her parents M about the same time mine did, she grew up on old school. I really liked that. "I don't know if I'm up to your standards for intelligence," she mentioned. "Well the situation you were given.... you did the best you could, with what you were capable of" Yes guys.... I say the very thing about my mom. She took lemons and made lemonade..... quite impressed was I. She was the first to say, being D embarrassed her, like she was a failure..... QFT from me... I guess three years ago. Her fav magazine..... same as mom, her fav dress style..... same as mom. Yeah, kinda weird. Reminded me a lot of nurturing ways.... mom had. Not a helicopter parent, allowed him to make mistakes and learn, just stepped in if it was major. She never crowded me.... well she did once, another story, and attempted to monopolize my time. She loved working in the yard (flowers n stuff) even in hot summer. I mow.... I don't do flowers. Can I pay it to be mowed... yes but that strips me of my image, ties to your land.... yes CA and OR people laugh LOL.... She held the same regard for "girli-fying" the yard. Flowers, plants, do-dads on house, doors... PLEASE have at it. I have no clue and wish not to learn.

She was reluctant for me to meet her son.... I admired that, a huge plus. We met... he knew more about tech stuff at age seven than I do to this day. Anyhow.... we go out to eat.... everything is going fine, I am sure he is on his best behavior LOL ..... I hear "Your daddy don't........." "Your daddy ain't........." "Your daddy shouldn't......." Oh.... his OW, she still refers to her as "the wh0re" in front of her son, age 15. Still anger with her XH...... understandable YES. Enough anger she should convey it to her son.... oh HE!! NO. I flashed back to 2nd love and her mom..... how she turned 2nd love into hating her dad, and tried to turn her little brother.

He moved in with his dad about the time she and I had our first R in 1995. He never returned "home". 2nd love ended up like her mom. after we had our final split in '96, she M first guy that came along (we had same first name, maybe she had a tat I didn't know about lol), D soon after. My potential MiL was encircled with hatred.... pop warned me about these..... she will one day be like her mom. Damn he was 110% right. I saw the same thing transpiring with this new gal. Cut losses..... BTW I am still friends with 2nd love's dad.

New gal potential #5 will be next (God forbid I'm seen as a troll)


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## Chuck71

Before I go into detail with new gal..... I would like to update things with "Cyclone Mom." When mom went to driving school last year (LOL) she was informed if she has one more accident which is seen as her fault, her DL will be pulled for five years. She was ultra pizzed.... I didn't exactly agree with it either but if you weigh in car insurance and her age (over 70), I can see why. Anyway... she began coming out a few times a week and we got along great. I enjoyed it.... but knew.... I still called and asked her if she needs anything ONLY if I am in town for other reasons. I called her on a Sunday, needs nothing. Run into town.... by the time we return.... VM..... day before the 4th.... in a wreck, no injuries, her fault.

Now she realizes the fact she will not be allowed to drive. She leans on me..... hints.... yeah I know where this goes. But y'know ..... if any female deserves one last chance, it is her. Yes I already contemplated the part that could be bad. Since her DL was to be pulled and she told off her sister, she could be stuck at her apartment for days at a time. No smokes, no food.... yeah still bothered me.... she would sit there with no food for three days until you asked how she was just to guilt trip you. Did she me, no but I just know how she works. He!! she was with pop 30 damn years and he was a master manipulator. 

I was given a premonition.... while I was moving her to my place. D72 (mom) was pulling up a rose bush she wanted to plant at my place, fell backwards, cracked her head on the walkway. Blood poured. I was inside her place boxing stuff up, saw a bunch of older women outside, went to investigate. Mom was on the ground, crying.... I asked who called 911, confusion, I pointed at one "call 911 NOW" they looked at me like I was a Commie from 1953. Her neighbor, one with common sense came over, had her hold her head up while I called 911. Three hours in ER with her, cranky as he!! because she wanted Taco Bell. Decided to be Bonnie Bad A$$ and jerk the needle out of her arm while waiting to be dismissed. Then was shocked blood poured from her arm.... ya think! Yes.... SHE raised me.... shocks me too.

I knew she needed to be in a nursing home but also was aware she would not go willingly. Mom knows they take your entire check minus maybe $30. Can't smoke in them, her precious Cokes are $6 per 12pack there in their "store," a 100% mark-up. Okay.... you can't drive anymore, let's try it. For the first few weeks she was bringing stuff out to move in.... golden. Worked in the yard (that was her passion) in 100 degree heat..... "Mom... come inside, you aren't young anymore." I begged her to go to bed early, wake early, work in yard early.... not too hot. Can't do it.... she will miss her cooking / food channel. Nothing like chain smoking and watching others cook schit until 3AM. Reminded me of my college days when I would smoke weed with friends and watch the infomercial about waxing your car. 

Fast forward to end of July. I am leaving a lot out and may touch on at a later date.... I noticed her bytching and cussing began to emerge again. I addressed it immediately. Won't happen under my roof.... you mad, you deal with it. My birthday came.... I didn't think mom would be around to see my 44th. She didn't mention anything...... no harm, other things on her mind. End of the day, new gal informed me I'm being taken out for my B-day. As we are leaving.... "anything you care to say mom," nada. Never forgot my birthday.... didn't want anything from her, just a Gdamn Happy Birthday.... didn't happen. We returned around midnight, came in.... "Where in the fvck have you two been" Not cool.... almost addressed it then and there, waited. Embarrassed... yeah.

I will compact these few actions.....Mom was changing clothes in the AM in my card room.... fell, knocked over a desk of cards. Yeah Chuck... they're only cards.... well I make sets from single cards, sell them for extra $$, if you know what you are doing, you can make a pretty good living doing that alone. Then D72 schit, yes schit, in the floor as she was going to bathroom. The guest bathroom always had a water drip trail to the toilet.... yes birthing fat a$$ babies does that. But I do expect the water droplets to be cleaned up. Oh... and the schit in the hallway to as well. "I'm going into town, I will clean it when I return." DL pulled and still driving.... YAY. Next day.... "I ain't cleaning that up you are." Two days it sat there with towels upon it.... I was NOT cleaning up her Gdamn schit. I baited her into finally cleaning it.

Later that night, D72 became frustrated with..... WTFE and began yelling and cussing at me. I left and retired to my room. D72 proceeded to bang, kick on my door, yell how much of a sorry no good MF I was. She broke the lock..... I had the phone in my room, almost called. I slept that night with my feet against the door.... yes I am living with my MOTHER. She did say..... If abortions were legal when I was carrying you, I would have had one." Hurt? You bet your a$$ it did. No fvcking more. 

Next night, same schit. I told her she needed to stop moving in and find another place to live. "You ain't had a Gdamn real job in ten years." I guess I pimp myself out to lonely women for money huh.... I guess a grad degree was nothing to her, actually she said I would never make it through grad school. Teaching in public schools were nothing, going after my PhD was nothing, but she always accepted my cash when it bought her something. It's funny, I began viewing her as a STBXW.

Called the police the next night..... long story short.... after mom admitted to her actions the night before.......they said "work it out." The po-po told me to stop being sarcastic...... let's just say my response somehow didn't land me in jail. See.... if I had beaten down the door with mom, they would have put me under the jail.... but her.... dat yo mawma, jist deel wif it. Sorry...... but he!!s no Bubba.

Mom has moved out.... had relatives, same ones who helped her move in..... move out.... two weeks later. God knows we are headlines on the family gossip mobile. WTFE

I never knew how much of a sorry no-good Gdamn MF I was....... until mom was moving in and told me so!!!!! Wow!!! I finished undergrad six weeks after pop died. Mom asked me to stick around awhile..... I did because I cared the world for her. Year in.... I met WC.... I stayed with her often to get away from mom's outbursts..... you do the math.

Sad ending no matter how you look at it. I gave 110% in helping her the last year. But it's over. I left everything on the field. No regrets.... As with pop, I want to remember her for what she was, not what she turned into. I just can't be around her any more. If she passes without us talking again.... guess that's my cross to bear. We ALL have crosses to bear. 

44, no kids, job prospects drying up like a fart in the wind, no family left. Not the way I wanted to envision things.... 25 years ago. Always thought if I never married, no kids.... by now I would be a beach bum, jamming to Jimmy Buffet, sleeping in a hammock by day, writing novels by night. Try to remind myself.... could be worse.... three kids, divorced, XW took everything, turned kids against me, living in a "by the week" suite on the shady side of town. Making $2k a week.... paying out $1.5k a week.

I feel so much like Mike Thomas.... sitting on the deck that night wondering WTF his life went. Think I posted that part back in 2015.


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## just got it 55

Jesus Chuck you need a change of scenery 

Would't you say ?

55


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## farsidejunky

just got it 55 said:


> Jesus Chuck you need a change of scenery
> 
> Would't you say ?
> 
> 55


This.

BTW, I will be in your neck of the woods in 8 days, Chuck. 

Let me know if you are up for a cold one.


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## Red Sonja

Unfortunately we don't get to choose our parents. Your mother does not deserve a son like you Chuck.

Hugs.


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## Chuck71

just got it 55 said:


> Jesus Chuck you need a change of scenery
> 
> Would't you say ?
> 
> 55


I did get the change..... her arse is out the door. Unless it is with a police escort, she will never step foot in my place again. Whoever she is staying with or if she got her own place.... she's their problem now. They will find out soon enough.... why Chuck cut ties with her. It reminds me of a 40 year M that was pretty good for the most part but in the end, it completely turned to schit.

She told me about 20 years ago, she had a dream I was mad at her, wouldn't come around her, and she spent her last days in a rocking chair reading the Bible and hoping I would come see her. Now that was a fvcking premonition....


----------



## Chuck71

Red Sonja said:


> Unfortunately we don't get to choose our parents. Your mother does not deserve a son like you Chuck.
> 
> Hugs.


Thank you. Hugs


----------



## Chuck71

At the university the seniors are required to take a senior seminar for graduation. Tenured professors rarely handle these, they're during the day.... cuts into their golf game. Anyhows.... we untenured or not yet piled high n deeps (PhD) have the pleasure of doing them. In a perfect world.... all of these students at this Christian university would graduate and work until retirement at a job where everyone is a devout Christian. Sadly.... the parents who send their kids here.... actually think that. So me and a handful of others get to come in and... shatter their sweet and innocent view of the world. I enjoyed leading so many to a door and entice them just enough as to where they open the door. At the end of each semester, me and the guys (two females) who teach these... take a weekend trip and share what we observed. Boggling your mind is a gross understatement.

Most of the students are not 100% naive to the world but some are. The wildest ones are the guys with unlimited funds... followed close by preacher's daughters. From Maryland / Pennsylvania north... it's a culture shock here. They think we's talk funny... we laugh they don't know what cornbread is. I missed plenty of lectures back in Fall 2015 due to taking care of mom. I explained to them why I was out several times. Several would ask about her after class or in the hallway with genuine concern. One was a 23 y / o business major. She was sweet and showed concern... She graduated in December. I still guest lecture but after missing so many days, we decided I take a "LoA" and my doctoral studies ceased as well. Maybe in the future.... but I still lecture but not "actively." This female stopped by to see me early this year and my "little office in the very back beside the hot water heater" was filled with boxes of papers.

Long story short... she left her # and the secretary contacted me. We talked a few times... I wished her well on her new intern job (taking graduate courses) and mentioned a few contacts and "people you should know." Few weeks pass by and we run into each other at the market. "I was hoping you would call me sometime...... We should get together, do something." She was very blunt in the way she said those. She is no longer a student at the university, her grad studies are at a nearby uni......

We go out a few times, have a really nice time. Her people are from a prominent city about three hours away. After grad school she said she would return to the city if no lucrative job offers became available here. Whaddayaknow... 2x a week led to 3x... she would say -care if I run by, I'm in the neighborhood- I knew then... being I live in the country... I have mountains visible from my living room. In the neighborhood my a$$ LOL. Well next thing you know... she would purposefully drink too much to "have to stay over" or would constantly want me to drink just enough... I would have to stay at her place. Yeah.... but Chuck how did you know it was a ploy? After we were "official" she cut back the drinking at my place 80% and wasn't trying to shove drinks in my face at her place.

We've done the parent deal... I was lucky, she met mom on one of her good days back in the spring. I would not have her meet mom if mom was in one of those moods. I did tell her what she saw was not what she was for the first 40 years I knew her. I met her parents.... yeah her dad was third degreeing me. He is in the finance field. He gave his mini bio, what he's done. I asked him what he thought about Ray Blanton and the fiasco he caused back in the 70s, a few bank panics in history, de-regulation during Reagan's term. He asked me to go fishing with him before we left.... yeah good sign. Course he and I were somewhat close in age.

We visited her grandparent's farm.... around 75 acres. Gramps was mighty impressed I could milk a cow.... MOOOOOOO! One of his workers had a bandage on his face.... tried to shoe a horse without the grips... that had to hurt. Being me... I saw a front yard, very nice but not manicured. Found a push mower and went at it... push mowing in the hot sun is one of my weird fetishes. Eventually she noticed me, brought out homemade lemonade, two piece with that thin thingamabob over it. "Yousa sweatin' sumthin' mitey feerce.... mite need ta take 'em clothes off n cool off." She noticed it "peaked" my attention. Ended up in a loft above the barn that night.... couldn't get Green Acres out of my head.

So far we are doing quite well. She says we started dating in March.... I say April... who's to say. I went as far as to say, she is pretty much #5 but I may have jumped the gun. Noticed a few things.... things I would not have picked up on.... twenty years ago. Her dad is head of his household but... saying she has him wrapped around her finger.... understatement. The guys who follow my thread know exactly where I am going.... I'm just waiting for it to occur (my daddy does xxxx, you should for me too). If she reacts favorably... I kinda like our chances. Poor reaction... decision time. 

But we are not far enough in to really see anything LTR. I'd like to think maybe a year... then address the possibility. It looks promising but I recall saying the same thing with... 1st love, 2nd love, Window Cork, 4th love after about six months. We know how those turned out now don't we LOL Ride the waves, see where it goes... hope things work out between us but be willing to walk away at ANY time. She already has Boner wrapped around her finger.... freaking bringing leftover steaks, chicken legs, hambones. He!! Boner runs up to her and barks at me -bring me what she's bringing- Damn lil schit LOL

I don't post that much anymore so some of my "journals" may be lagging a bit behind. A Hangover Crew buddy asked me -Alright music 5lut... what song personifies where you stand with her-

Either https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Vg52eF4dPk or

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHdwtRgq524


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## farsidejunky

I don't know, Chuck... You look... I swear you resemble this guy who just told someone in the last 48 hours to focus on what is, not what may be...


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## Red Sonja

"thin thingamabob over it" is a *sarong*, just so you can save on the words next time


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## Chuck71

Red Sonja said:


> "thin thingamabob over it" is a *sarong*, just so you can save on the words next time


:rofl::rofl::rofl: 

I've called it a thingamabob, doomyflotchy, hickeydoo, you name it.... for thirty years.

Never heard sarong in my life. Thanks for letting me know! Now I can more oppressively attempt to

hide "me Southurn die-a-lekt"


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## just got it 55

Che cosa si chiamano That's how they say it in the south



Of Italia

Chuck Still havin youngens on the brain ?

55

ETA: Festeris is a good one too


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## Chuck71

just got it 55 said:


> Che cosa si chiamano That's how they say it in the south
> 
> 
> 
> Of Italia
> 
> Chuck Still havin youngens on the brain ?
> 
> 55
> 
> ETA: Festeris is a good one too


Liked dem older women fer twenty-some-odd years. Gust tryen to balance the ekwashun.


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## Chuck71

farsidejunky said:


> I don't know, Chuck... You look... I swear you resemble this guy who just told someone in the last 48 hours to focus on what is, not what may be...


"But we are not far enough in to really see anything LTR. I'd like to think maybe a year... then address the possibility. It looks promising but I recall saying the same thing with... "

???


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## farsidejunky

Chuck71 said:


> "But we are not far enough in to really see anything LTR. I'd like to think maybe a year... then address the possibility. It looks promising but I recall saying the same thing with... "
> 
> ???


_"Noticed a few things.... things I would not have picked up on.... twenty years ago. Her dad is head of his household but... saying she has him wrapped around her finger.... understatement. The guys who follow my thread know exactly where I am going.... I'm just waiting for it to occur (my daddy does xxxx, you should for me too)."_


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## Chuck71

The 2007 stray / 17 mile returnee home in 2013.... he has a g/f. They lay in the yard / driveway / road together, go off in the woods together, lay side by side at night. Sad they can't get it on though... Window Cork accidentally grabbed him one morning when she was getting her brother's dog and cousin's (breeding was intentional) to be fixed. Truth told, he needed to be fixed though. He is the one dog remaining after BiLs dog died and Ty disappeared in Spring 2015. The comical part is they argue (bark / growl) about every night. I guess there is a justice of the peace for dogs somewhere in these parts. Lately he has been staying on the porch and she is in the neighbor's yard, several hundred yards away. Good thing they ain't got no puppies.

Things are coming along smoothly with the DC gal. She enjoyed a day of fishing... even baited her own hook unless it was a worm. She brought a picnic basket for the day... put a lot of time and detail into it. Quite impressed.... except for the wine she brought. Excellent idea but drinking in a National Park.... no jail time but Jesus H. Christ they fine you about $1200. To pour salt in the wound, they make you empty the bottle(s) right then and there. You'd think they'd at least let you finish what you brought, after all, the fine still stands. Tried to show her how to gut a fish.... "I'll cook if you clean 'em" LOL .... fair enough.

We took a trip to the beach awhile back. Lucked up and missed most of the rain. Had a great time. Was able to venture out a couple nights after she passed out. Nothing like pontificating at the beach. 3AM, Pink Floyd, etc... the usual. Hard to fathom it's been roughly 30 years ago. Felt eerie seeing a couple teens walking on the beach, slowly due to the fact they were making out every third step. Talk about reflection overload. Back then... pop was alive, "mom" was, Angie. Jeff is but... we may speak every five years. Life goes on... no schit.

Was able to find a bar which carried Ngoma beer! "I wanna try it!" Three of those and I almost carried her to the car. $25 a six pack now. Eight Ngomas and you see Led Zep playing in the ocean.... stay away from the ocean! We did venture into the Wally World late at night... see all kinds. We agreed I cook breakfast, light lunch and go out for dinner. Was a nice bar near the room, had kick arse Boston cover band one night. One cover did Loverboy's -Heaven in your Eyes- .... was a very nice slow dance. Bartender and I spoke a bit one night.... -thought she might have been your daughter till you had your hand on her arse- Not quite used to this.... being I spent two decades dating older women.

Walking on the beach was nice... it's about the only thing that has not changed. The old 1-2-3 story mom n pop hotels are all but gone.... replaced by 18-story high rises. I get the fact of purchasing land and maximizing profits but.... plus the huge billboards and flashing lights. There were triggers.... not to 2nd love though. I dug a hole big enough to fit my fat arse into... DC slide in between my legs and drifted off to the waves crashing. Romantic.... yes. Waking to each other... yes. Hearing 47 kids screaming at 6AM...... nooooo. 

One thing I did learn, DC is competitive. Putt putt ... never heard a female say -I can't believe I missed that fvcking hole- Course being a guy, I ad-libbed and... she was not overly amused. Okay.... Chuck this sounds like an awesome mini vacation, right? Anytime I vacation or lived a good distance away.... I always called and let mom know I was okay and / or enjoying myself. Can't do that anymore. Bothered me more than I thought it would. Old habit I guess. Life's all about change. Grass will always be green, sky will always be blue.... everything changes.

I made sure to stop at the very same gas station I always have since 1996. It's right off I-75 before Atlanta. Go in, use bathroom, grab a $10 ticket. Have always won, at least the $10 back. Most I won was $500. This time.... just won $12, $2 if you count the ticket. The store is on my "therapy road." Nice hour's drive, not far away but quite a few small town speed traps. One town -you are entering xxxx- you can hold your breath and see -you are leaving xxxx- before you exhale. Only in the South.

All in all... it's been a good summer, would have been great if not for....... Was amazed when DC got on to me about not keeping my skillets seasoned. -Stop wiping the grease out- Was amused at DCs reaction to my clothesline out back -I think you've lost your damn mind- "If I was 24... I'd have said the same thing." DC still thinks chopping wood, knife tossing and push mowing a huge yard with a riding mower in the garage is a bit weird.... but I'm cool with that. I may change one day... but I doubt it.

On a lighter note.... looking forward to following the last broadcasts of Vin Scully... 67 years. Ever since I can remember, Scully's voice was announcing baseball games. Peete Rowse, Steeve Garrvey, Dayle Muurfey. Baseball... 35 year love affair. 2nd love swore baseball was my mistress. One by one... all the players I watched as a child through HS, all have retired a good while back. Quite a few have passed on. I can still see Joe Niekro spinning his knuckleball, Tug McGraw closing out a game, Mark Belanger starting a double play, and Tony Gwynn slapping out another hit. 67 years is more than enough Mr. Scully... thank you for the many summers you captivated my consciousness with stories from long before I came along. October 2 will be his final game. 


Van Hagar 5150 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STVcNX7anGU


----------



## Chuck71

I learned fast to get everything in before the month of October. DCs favorite (well 2nd) holiday is Halloween. -For the entire month I like to .... blah blah blah- Halloween? Maybe it's just me.... never was a ghouls and goblins person. Living near the National Park... we decided to camp for a few days. My version of camping is quite primitive compared to hers. DC wanted lights and water hook ups. That just isn't true camping to me. All I ever use is a tent, if even that. We used her uncle's mini camper. Nothing like grilling out near a large stream. The water can almost put you to sleep itself. We make small talk with campers around us... I was speaking with an older female a few spots away. We exchange names and have funny looks on our faces. "Is your H xx?" -Yes he is and you had to have played on one of his teams.- Ibedamn.... it's the coach I had wrote about in an article for the paper about three years ago (think I actually posted it on GutPunch's thread). I'm now the age he was then... it was really strange. Had an enjoyable night of catching up. They're there camping roughly 75% of the time since retirement. Beyond ironic....

I'm not an excellent cook by any stretch. Turning over the kitchen to someone... I'm not really fond of. Only person I had turned it over to was WC.... granted she could cook me under the table in twelve seconds. Never let UG have it..... nor any of the overnighters or FWB. Gotsta say... DCs took it over. I admit... I'd rather be out in the garage or doing something outside. DC even made fried potatoes, hadn't ate those in at least ten years. We're in the den slow dancing to Kenny G and the phone rings. Wonderful.... it's mom. It goes to VM..... check it, she babbled on and on about a carpet cleaner (already have one) on QVC for $xxx on payments of $xx. During the entire VM she acted as if nothing had happened. Either she is in complete denial or she can't remember a Gdamn thing. Didn't ruin the night but I wish I hadn't checked the VM until the next day.

Recently we were out on the back deck chatting about whatever.... -Ya know... I've heard all about how bad arse your homemade chili is.... Why don't you make it?- "Ain't right weather, don't make it in summertime. Plan to make it to kick-off first Steeler game." -If you make it now.... I will cover your eats at the casino- That's saying a lot, they have an Italian bistro there. Made the chili.... -think I'll like it- "Safe to say you will" Suffice to say she put some back for her parents and kid brother. -If you can make this right before one of my Halloween festivals, I'll take it and sell it. $5 a bowl easy.- "We'll see.... would be nice... I make at least 25 "healthy servings" each time." 

We hit the lake at just before sunrise. Yes... "the lake." Swam a bit after watching the sun come up and the most amusing thing occurred. Large bubbles came upward to the surface. She was embarrassed, I LMFAO. -Guess we're a couple, we've farted around each other now- I flashbacked to the girl who would take open door #2s at my place back in 2015.... couldn't stop laughing but couldn't tell her why. 

Sometime last month DC decided to get away for an evening. -Somewhere close, my treat- We hopped up to the Tail of the Dragon, my death location if I still rode a bike. I love speed... I wouldn't be here today if I still rode. Stayed at a really nice place on the lake. She seriously contemplated stealing the mattress -best damn one I've ever slept on- Had a few drinks at the lake... weird sensation came over me, like it's 'you're where you should be with who you should be with' Hadn't felt that in 20 years. On the way back we stopped at the casino, each took in $200. Didn't take long for her to flush $120 and me $40. We didn't look to stay long... we walked around a bit, she picked a machine, sat beside her. We chatted about how nice the room was as we both were losing money. Interesting thing happened... lower cost machines aren't that hard to read if you know what to look for... went max bet and pulled in $600. Unless I have money to burn, I cash out after I at least double my cash. Can always come back another day.

DC was down to $20 and a voucher for almost $20. Tried a few machines, told her when to hit single bet, 2x, 3x, 4x and max. Got her back up to around $400. "Almost lost your shirt now you are double, pocket and go home a winner." -WTF you know when to bet small and when to hit max... what are you Rainman?- It was pretty damn comical to say the least but it was a good time to mention my ADHD in a non-humor tone and my autism. -I could tell you were quite a bit ADHD back at school but I never thought autism- "Very slight autism but read up on tendencies and you'll notice. Very controlled, no medication, use it for my benefit, not detriment." Nice ride home.... weird thing happened that night. Wasn't 30 minutes after she left, already began to miss her.

Attended a UT game for the first time in I'd say 30 years. You enter through a breezeway with a great view of the river. Sad that incline is at least 40 degree. Happy to say I made it up without sucking air and my legs were just fine. DC was winded. Understandable legs sore but winded at her age? I'll touch on this later but she is a closet smoker. Game was supposed to be a blow out but ended up being a nail biter. Went into overtime, UT won. While we were leaving... she was mentioning all the places there on campus, made me partially wish I had went away to college. All the parties, celebrations.... DCs stories about hers while at a "Christian" university LOL. Egh... was what it was. Wouldn't have ever met 2nd love had I went away. Plus I'm sure mom would've demanded to go away with me.... what fun!!!

Things are well, actually so well it scares me. WTF is the bad luck bus going to hit? For now... really like where I am at. Kinda like how I felt 25 years ago..... Hmmmm...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYoeKsN_whU


----------



## farsidejunky

Nice update, Chuck. 

DeMello would tell you to enjoy her today while not worrying about what may or may not actually happen tomorrwo.


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## Chuck71

Wise man DeMello is

Yoda he remind me

unchannel the fear of this 

then shall you be free


----------



## just got it 55

Damn Chuck.......you almost sound dare I say......Happy 

55


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## Chuck71

just got it 55 said:


> Damn Chuck.......you almost sound dare I say......Happy
> 
> 55


LOL.... after mom's quackery, an IRS audit would be a walk in the park! Posts are being caught up to about a week back. Don't fret... there's a schitstorm coming. VERY similar to E58s current post.


----------



## farsidejunky

Chuck71 said:


> LOL.... after mom's quackery, an IRS audit would be a walk in the park! Posts are being caught up to about a week back. Don't fret... there's a schitstorm coming. VERY similar to E58s current post.


Tease.


----------



## Chuck71

Tease? A tease? LMAO ..... To bring everything up to date, we have been getting along better than either of us expected. About every time we go out, I say or do something that makes her go to the bathroom because her eyeliner is running down her face. -I am smitten for you- "Whaht... you're schitten for you?" I'd say the best one had to be near the Tail of the Dragon... DCs car has more buttons than those jackets Michael Jackson made famous in the early 1980s. She said this was for the air on my side. So I would punch it... then notice it was turned off later. Okay... no problem. This time she saw me do it and wondered -WTF is he doing- She turned it off and asked why I kept turning it on. It ended up being the rear window defogger. I was turning the damn thing on in 98 degree weather. I laughed until tears were in my eyes, she laughed so hard we almost went off the road. "Pull over, you're gonna kill us." 

Guys... we all have fanaticized about driving down the road, late at night, and the female giving head. Why late at night? LOL no traffic... our thoughts would be pre-occupied. Well... same goes for the female when she is driving. I guess that's one of the good things about getting to know one another. You learn the points, angle, motion. When she runs over a curb, now that's not fun at all. Her dad... huge Auburn fan. Asked if I could get seats, not the pricey ones, for a home game against a nobody team. Grabbed four tickets, much cheaper than I had thought! I asked a fellow TAM guy who is a die hard Auburn fan, where to go, where to park, what to do before game. BTW... thanks for the advice! Thursday rolled around and her dad could not make the trip. So we have two extra tickets. Let me correct myself... I had three extra. First off.... I'm not an Auburn fan, neither is DC. Her dad was wanting to come down and see my Corvette and... to see his daughter (in that order he said LOL). 

Thursday afternoon I was out back working on my fire pit. Passed some time knife tossing. I live in the country... phones do not work in the back after you go behind the pool, the deck, the fence and walk into the woods. Did DC know where I was, she did. We chat on the phone mostly, sometimes FB back chat. When I came in.... eight VMs, at least ten FB messages. Long story short ... her car laid down on her, everything went dead. Ummm.. she ran out of gas. I had mentioned she needed some the night before when I checked her oil and fluids. I tell everyone, especially females, to carry a gallon of gas with them in case they run out in a "bad location" She closet smokes in her car so she was afraid to. Anyhow... I called her and got the following

Where were you? Why didn't you answer the fvcking phone? Why didn't you put gas in my car? What kind of man are you? I almost called my daddy! I had to call a co-worker and HE came out to help me!

Ahhhh "I will respond when you calm down." -WTF won't you talk to me now, cause you know you messed up- I hung the phone up.... I will not be screamed at. Ten minutes passed... she called. Was calmer. I went over every question she asked.... "You knew where I was, what I was doing, phones don't get out in the woods. You knew that when you left work." She agreed... de-escalated. -Why didn't you put gas in my car?- "You're 24, a college graduate and soon to be a graduate with an MBA. I do feel you are fully capable of putting gas in your own car......I" She exploded again, I hung up. 

She was planning to come by that evening around 7:30. I did hang around. It was getting late and I went to my Italian bistro to grab lasagna since our planned dinner went in the schitter. Of course when I arrived at home, wild guess who is in the driveway. DC was somewhat calmed down.... -Let's go in and eat and we can talk afterwards- I agreed... When DC learned I had just got dinner for myself.... it was World War III. -So you didn't get me anything... Are you saying I'm fat?- I honestly started laughing. She grabbed her keys to leave, I went out on the back deck. I was not surprised... I knew this would happen. I just get a sense from people... you know it will happen, before it happens. Yes I knew this with mom but FFS.. only got one mom.

It was around 10:30, DC came to the deck.... -I think I'm going to go- "Drive safely" What I really wanted to say was 'make sure you got enough gas to get home' but I chose otherwise. She sat down... silence. "When I told you, you needed gas... did you expect me to take your car down that night and gas it up?" -No- "Now if you had twisted your ankle and had trouble standing, would you have asked me to gas your car?" -I wouldn't have wanted to but yes I would have asked you- "And if you had asked me that night, to run to the station with you, to pump your gas, do you think I would have?" -Of course you would have- "That's my point.... since you did not gas your car, look what happened. And you went off on me, like it was my fault that you.... did not... get gas. TBH... I can't understand WTF we are even having to discuss this." "Oh... and the take out... you were said to be here at 7:30... you weren't, no call, no message... it was near 10 and I concluded you ain't coming."

I know DC understood clearly what I said. She also knew I was not wavering. But she was still upset. But at who??? Take a guess what came next.... -I don't really care about going to the game, it was dad's idea to begin with.- "Guess I'm the dolt with four tickets and no one wants to go" -Go by yourself... or take some friends- "Matter of fact I may see if xxx and xxx want to go (Hangover Crew guys and still wanted to keep one free in case she changed her mind)." -Oh I bet you'd like that.... three wild guys around a ton of younger women- "WTFE....I can't tell you what to think, that's up to you." That was about it....

Hangover Crew couldn't go... only one day notice. That's what happens when some are M or have live-ins n kids. I recalled a girl I went out with earlier this year had a son who loved Auburn. Sent message, she accepted the tickets at what I paid for them, so I did get back the cash for three of the four tickets. The girl asked -But aren't you going too? We don't know how to get there. My son is bringing a friend and they both love sports and... you being a sports writer.....- I explained the situation about DC and she understood but said she'd love for me to go... she'd furnish the car, gas... everything but what I wanted to get at the stadium. Didn't plan on going, asked her to see if anyone she knew would want the last ticket. Friday came n went.... no message from DC. Saturday morning... I thought.... why am I not going to the game because of what transpired. I took her up on the offer.

Had a blast! Saw Toomer's Corner, tried their lemonade, watched the team do their walk, saw the eagle before the game. Got to see the students roll the trees after the win... first time they could do that since the trees were poisoned about ten years ago. Now THAT was college life! Her son wants to go to Auburn... after all I saw, LOL so would I. I did receive a message from DC... -Did you get rid of the tickets- at 8:00 that night. Sent her a pic of me and the two guys, and his mom. -WTF is she?- "His mom." -Don't take you long to find someone else to fvck- "You're making extremely broad accusations based on zero merit" Tirade ensued... "I am willing to talk after you learn to curb your profanity."

Took longer than I thought.... will finish rest later. 
BTW.... I do wish for us to work through this. Any other female I had dated since late 2012.... it would have already been ended. 99.9% of the time I am not the one to sling schit; which gives me full rights to not take it from others, 99.9% of the time.


----------



## Chuck71

After the game, we took the old 27 back home. I will do anything to avoid Atlanta, plus the girl is a horrible night driver so I drove home. Got back home around 5AM. Yes I had VMs and messages. I was in no mood to talk. I messaged "I didn't have to send a photo with her in it. Had I had an interest in her, she would not have been in the pic. I have done nothing wrong and will NOT take the blame for your miscalculations. That is the very root of this. You made a mistake and expected me to apologize for it. Won't happen. Want a guy like that, you have no business seeing me then." Had to take a gulp when I sent that. But you have to be that way. Call it my first big schit test.

Watched the opening week of NFL action. My team didn't play until the next evening. As Sunday night crept in... I started the prep for homemade chili. Doorbell rang... I was extremely pizzed.... no one called and said they're coming over and I prefer to be left the fvck alone when I make my chili (takes around 4-5 hours). He!!s bells... it's DC and she was carrying her favorite pillow. -I'm sorry for blowing things out of proportion. I wanted to blame you for my screw ups. Can you ever forgive me?- Sex that night was pretty damn nice! We chatted while I did the chili but I didn't let her in the kitchen until I was finished and asked her to taste test it. Homemade chili is always best the second day and that night was Pittsburgh time. While she got ready the next morning, I give her the master bathroom -more lights, mirrors, room-, I heard cannon fire. She thought I was out on the deck.... I wasn't. Pop always told me, "When they start farting at your house, they got no plans of leaving."

DC got to see me during a Steeler game on the tele. -I never imagined you screaming, cussing your own team. Thought you were just joking when you told me you were this way when you watch them.- "Been like this 30+ years, warned you back in June." DC didn't see me at my worst... which is when they have the lead and blow it against a team they should have easily thumped. If Pittsburgh is just clearly beaten... I can handle that. When they're on the tele, I record it and wait until the second quarter to start watching, cuts out all the commercials. Guess I like my fix in a shorter amount of time. We had started watching the first of the game around the halftime mark in real time. We hear a bang on the door....

It was the police. -Does xxx (mom) still reside here?- I said no. -We have reason to believe she is out in these parts and may come by here. When is the last time you saw her?- I said about six weeks ago, he asked why... wanted to say MYOFB but that is their job. Explained all the details. -Do you know where she may be residing?- "Who called this in?" -Her sister- "Then she obviously knows where she lives right?" (I already knew mom was back at the same place she was at when DC kept asking me to at least see where she is. I'm still 110% NC with mom but yeah, can't help but worry) I explained how my ex aunt is a typical drama queen, etc. Mom never showed up that night. Thank God.

I think we're partially over the hump. I know addressing things when they occur may leave a few cuts but those heal. Bricks in the wall... is what makes The Wall. I'm not far from saying ILY, hadn't said it in over two years. No... saying it during great sex doesn't count. The only thing we had a disagreement on was when she spoke about a Christmas tree. -Do you do a tree?- "Not recently.... think I've put up one since 2011 (UG back in 2013, DC knows the dates while with 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, sure she figured it out)." -You have to have one.... I'll .... etc- "Fair enough but no fake trees, real tree or no tree." DC hasn't had a real tree since she was in elementary school. Yes they are MUCH easier to take down but nothing beats the smell of a real one. It's like canned biscuits compared to homemade biscuits. -Maybe I will like it but you have to clean up after it's taken down- Fair enough!

Latest Window Cork sighting..... got a FB message from my XW. After her stint three states away, she is returning home! UGH.... WC stated -My soulmate just died of a heart attack and since we were never married and nothing was in my name, his family wants me to leave. I'm coming back home and wondered if I could have one of those dog kennels I purchased. Would love to catch up with you!-

I spewed Coke from laughter. I have no clue if he did die, not my business, but in her full context I surmise she is returning to the area. 1-Never married her.... he was smarter than I was, 2-Now you're a property wh0re? 3-The kennels that "you" bought... LMAO... the level of contempt to ask me that after being D nearly four years. 4-She needs a place to stay! The sociopath in me is smiling profusely!!! Non-friends cannot see most of my personal info. WC has no clue I am seeing someone, neither does her long time friends who are here. Desperation... yeah. Maybe her returning can help her now criminal son, I doubt it... much too late. I did show it to DC. Of course DC was -Do you want her back- "You have to be schitting me... seriously???" DC read the crap WC posted... -She wants to come home (move in with me)- "The he!! you say!" I showed her a pic of WC and I from years ago..... -wow she was very pretty- then one of WC on her dating sites from 2013 -oh dear, what happened?- "Here's her name, FB lurk her page all you want, I have nothing to hide." -She ever comes to your door while I'm here, I'll answer it.- 

Somewhere Darwin is smiling.... 

PS-WC left a few pieces of furniture here since she was moving into a studio after the D. $250 says she will ask if she can have them now since she is returning home with nothing but the clothes on her back and those puppies....


----------



## farsidejunky

WC is pretty damn bold. 

You know her showing up at your door is not a hypothetical, right?


----------



## Chuck71

Picture Tammy Brady vs. the 1977 Steeler defense on steroids....

Yes... THAT nasty

As for Luke vs. Vader... I wouldn't need a light sabre this time


----------



## Red Sonja

Regarding the gas incident … who is raising these young women to be “damsels in distress”? :slap: Red Flags are flying all over the place Chuck, proceed with caution. You did handle the situation well I must say.

My daughter is 23 and would have called AAA (which she pays for), that is if she had actually let herself run out of gas.

Nice save on the game tickets.


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## TheGoodGuy

Holy smokes Chuck, that was quite the thread I'm catching up on! 

I would put $20 on WC showing up at your door if she knows where you live. Bank it.


----------



## Chuck71

Red Sonja said:


> Regarding the gas incident … who is raising these young women to be “damsels in distress”? :slap: Red Flags are flying all over the place Chuck, proceed with caution. You did handle the situation well I must say.
> 
> My daughter is 23 and would have called AAA (which she pays for), that is if she had actually let herself run out of gas.
> 
> Nice save on the game tickets.


The way I see it... if DC ran out of gas when she lived back home, her dad would run to the rescue and not even preach to her about avoiding these situations. But I agree RS... too many females expect to be catered to hand over feet from around 16 to 28. Notice I never dated a female seriously in her 20s until now (2nd love was teen when met but was in her 20s near the end of our 5 year deal). 

Her mom is more "get your schit together girl." Somewhat how mom was with me as a kid but pop was a lot more firm. I saw this as a schit test. Oh I'm sure things would have went better (for time being) had I caved but.... she would have lost some respect for me. Had DC called and said she forgot to get gas and I'm sure I ran out, can you help me out by bringing gas......... I would have done it ASAP. DC didn't want to "own her mistakes." That's one thing I learned about my XW during the D.

I don't see something similar to this happening again. She knows better now. In the beginning of a LTR, it is human to test the other's boundaries. Will there be more schit tests.... oh yeah! Example... we always did something together on Saturdays. I made plans for the upcoming Saturday and she said she would like to have some "retail therapy" with her g/fs. "That's cool." -I guess you'll just hang out around the house?- "Nah... I'll see what the Hangover Crew is up to, if not... I can go see xxx (band mate from HS days) play at xxxxx (a bar... yes... a higher end bar where 21-35s hang out). DC had the 'oh... okay' look on her face. It reinforced I will not sit at home while you do thing with your friends plus.... I really would not have wanted to go with her.... DC was traveling 100 miles to a store for "her specific type of bra" and shopping. Would I ask her if I could go with her... oh he!! no! That's a huge mistake..... Now if she asked me to go with her.... I probably would have but I would have her drop me off at the Harley store and return when she was done trying on "over the shoulder boulder holders."

I'm old school in the fact it is a courtesy to pump gas for the female. Oh... I've shocked many a female over the years. But..... I prefer to be asked... I guess if a female is all decked out, prim n proper, gas fumes aren't desired. As long as I am asked beforehand or thanked afterwards... I don't mind at all. Just like when DC is over and without me asking... starts a load of clothes and / or folds / hangs clothes. I don't have to ask her anymore.... but I make sure to thank her for her help. Same thing with food. DC brings food over she pays for, cooks it... for me! Do that a few times a week and I have NO qualms about taking her out to eat at a nice place.

Again.... life is not complicated, we human just make it such.


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## Chuck71

TheGoodGuy said:


> Holy smokes Chuck, that was quite the thread I'm catching up on!
> 
> I would put $20 on WC showing up at your door if she knows where you live. Bank it.


I was about to ask you for an update on your thread...... "TGG stop wearing out the mattress with her and give us inquiring people an update"

At the moment WC has no clue I am serious with anyone. DC (Debts n Credits) is not a big fan of FB (thank God). If I profiled WC correctly... she will ask to come over first. But I could be wrong. WC knows where I live... same house we lived in from 2005-12. There are three or four things WC left due to her moving into a studio right after the D. Very nice dining table, super nice hutch, nice end tables... can't recall the other. It's been almost four years since our D was final... Six weeks away from DDay four years ago.

WC does not have a pot to pizz in minus the clothes on her back and those fvcking puppies. Of course she wants one of the kennels (if not both), plus the furniture (hasn't asked yet but I foresee it). That would help her out in almost furnishing an apartment.... watch her ask about the bed LOL .... that was burned back in 2013 and the head / foot boards donated to Goodwill. Or she can just make a full sweep and move back in LOL ..... The day I allow her to move back in with me is the day Hillary and Trump do an XXX rated porn video together.

In the near future I see DC probably staying over here a lot more. As pop would say.... she is marking her territory.


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## Red Sonja

*"over the shoulder boulder holders."*

:lol::rofl::lol::rofl:

Sorry, I haven't heard that one since my Dad passed.


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## Chuck71

Red Sonja said:


> *"over the shoulder boulder holders."*
> 
> :lol::rofl::lol::rofl:
> 
> Sorry, I haven't heard that one since my Dad passed.


Whatcha xpekt frum sumone in da Sowth.....

We have different definitions for many words. Example: Relative humidity: The sweat rolling

down yer back when yur sleeepun wit ur sister.

Nope... can't make this stuff up!


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## Chuck71

It never ceases to amaze me what can come out of a chat with the guys.

DC brought over take out and a movie. Everything was set-up as planned. Light petting as the movie started. Phone rings. Hangover Crew guy.... we all knew something was up, hadn't been around as much the last year, especially since right after the Super Bowl. He had his DDay. He asked to come over.... was very shook up. DC was very understanding... even offered to leave before he came. She gave us space to talk and only stuck her head in to ask if we needed anything to drink. After he left, no bytching or complaining. -He's one of your close friends, you're there for them. I find that admirable. Lets me know when you say you will be there for someone, you mean it.- That meant a lot to me....

This is the same person who had a meltdown less than two weeks ago.... Other weird stuff.... was doing my fetish, push mowing the huge yard and there she was... ice cold water, peck on the lips, went back inside. Didn't ask her to do it. She was at my desk doing weekly number crunching due the next morning, most of the evening. Only one other person did that..... Scheduled myself to do my Round-Up run one last time before Fall...only do it once more before Spring. Got everything ready... takes a couple hours if you want to do it right. Ibedamned... already done. WTH? VM'd her "Did you happen to Round-Up the stuff over here?" -Yeah... remember I had that meeting in xxx and I didn't have to return to work? It's the day I came to your place and put the steaks in your freezer in the garage.- Damn..... just damn.

Now for the weird stuff...same color eyes as WC.... exact same type hair (when we met), very similar mannerisms in and out of the bedroom. When I do something comical -you ain't gots a brain in yo head-, -if yo momma could see you now- as I was trying on a shirt I hadn't worn in many years and she was stretching it and I leaned forward and spread my arms out like in Titanic. -You're the first person I have ever met who can be so deep philosophical and a few minutes later, act like a goofy teenager- Best definition possible.

There are certain moments... when you are having sex.... it's like a freeze frame. Something like when I had sex with 1st love last year... aka the tortured soul look. I flashed back pre-WC, pre-2nd or 1st love. I made a post on her last year "Snowflakes '88" 


Finally got to show the Corvette to her dad. Shocker -How much- "Ain't for sale." -Name a price- "Okay.... $100k lol" -Schit in ten years you probably will get that- "Grew up in that car, the memories mean more to me than the make, model and condition" -One weekend I'll get DC and W to do a shopping trip and I'll come down, take this baby out-

So far.... pretty freaking good. DCs known me away from school pretty well over the last six months. She hasn't run yet LOL. But she did mention she would like to do something about the wallpaper in the bathroom. As pop would say.... "might as well put her name on the mailbox too, she ain't going anywhere."

Okay... I have previously stated the things that WC has done since DDay were.... well... utter BSC. Well... she hit a new low. The sad part is... it did not surprise me. I don't keep up with WCs actions unless she messages me. To want to keep up would mean I still cared about her.... Cared LOL... I still hold to the IDGAF approach from early 2013. A Hangover Crew friend sent me an email stating -this is a cause you may want to get behind LMFAO- The HC guy knows I do give what I can to certain causes...... WC has set up a GoFundMe page to raise money so she can come home. Claimed she needed $1k.... she was up to $800. Some poor sap gave her $600something. Never ceases to amaze me.... and for nearly four years... I talked to the BSC of the BSC peeps. Something's going to happen.... feel it.


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## Chuck71

It's October! Yayyy... Wait.... that means Halloween is coming. Ohhhh damn. Yeah, DC was true to her word. Dragged me about 200 miles to a city with one streetlight but has one of the largest pumpkin festivals around. All day... pumpkins, Thanksgiving and Christmas stuff, seasonings... aka a place I would never frequent. Funny thing happened.... had a great time. DC didn't drag me in every place, wasn't upset if I just stood back while she detailed everything she considered buying, and the fact I didn't have the "someone please shoot me" look on my face. It was just nice spending the day with her, even if, it wasn't a car show, gun show, or a card show. -You took a day to come with me to something I love to do. Never complained, actually seemed as if you had a great time. When I'm in (she paused) ... really like a guy, I want to do things with him as much as I can- Yeah... she's falling. So am I though....

Stopped at a place who had buffet on way back home. Waitress asked if we needed more napkins.... "She does, sometimes she is a messy eater." Comical yes.... DC wasn't offended. Ended up... she was messy (soup). When we were about finished... waitress asked if we were through at the buffet -He's not... he wants to eat enough to force you into bankruptcy.- Yes.... I thought it was hilarious. Driving back.... we talked but it seemed like it was stuff that only M couples or live-in couples would bring up. *Don't listen to what they say, watch what they do* Bet the farm I am.... they are matching.... Arrived at my place, fixed coffee, changed into comfy clothes.... About the time coffee was done, DC made a cup for me (mine is unique... as pop used to say *you like a little coffee with your cream*), brought it to me in sleep shirt and panties. It was the look... guys, you know what I'm getting at. Not all dolled up.... just "her." Our "love tanks" as spoken in the famous book.... seem to be pretty equal. We had deviled eggs at 430AM. For those who aren't familiar with me... I only crave deviled eggs after sex.

DC fixed lasagna before she left the next afternoon. Two huge bowels / dishes or WETF you call it. Enough to feed eight-ten guys. DC had to do things at her place, get ready for work week, and knew it was a guy's afternoon / evening. We (Hangover Crew) watched the last day of MLBs pennant race, watched Vin Scully's last game, and watched the night game.... my Steelers vs. Chiefs. I walked her to her car as she wanted to leave before the guys started piling in.... -Stop giving me that damn look. It's hard enough dealing with your sad puppy dog eyes but add your blue eyes in.... makes me want to stay- It was part acting as in, I wanted the guy's night but... I didn't want her to go either. 

Received a call from ER.... mom was admitted. How, when, why, I dunno. We've not spoke in two months. I listened to the VM.... I feared it may have been a *you want to say something before she dies, best get your a$$ up here now* Yes I am NC / 180 and honestly can never see us being sociable again but.... still mom. It was just a repeat of back in May.... mom being confused, throwing schit fits and them wanting me to come up and de-escalate mom. Been down that road, didn't go in May, ain't now. It did bother me mom was in ER. I messaged DC.... kinda hated to bother her. DC was very soothing, listened and empathized with both the fact it is my mom and how I had to cut ties with her. THAT meant a lot... to ME. Tickled me belly when she did say -Why don't they call her sister? Doesn't she take more schit than a septic company- See why I like her LOL

Received confirmation my xBiL wants to come finish getting his stored stuff in my back yard. He got the first load back in the spring. It is in the area known for snakes. I wouldn't go in there in July either. But I heard from a birdie WC will be temporarily housing with xBiL, until she raises enough poor-mouth funds to return to my city. *Care if I come get the rest of my stuff?* "Not at all.... you and xxxx (half-brother) coming?" *Yeah... may bring another to help get it all* "Okay. No surprises though right?" No response. Two responses when they arrive.... friendly, cordial, willing to help them move things any way I can. Or a devious plot only a sociopath could devise. Either way... I was warned ahead of time. I would prefer the first way but I am well-prepared for the other. All depends upon if WC happens to be the "other hired hand."


----------



## Chuck71

-Can I call you?- "Why?" -I'm really sad. xxx just died and it's momma's birthday. You know I will always miss her- "Miss her too I always will, called her 2nd mom for a reason. Could really have used her soft touch through my mom's fall from grace." <pause> "Yet if you recall some four years ago you fired me as your husband. I am employed by another place now." This was followed by a text blow up and I just blocked her. I was her therapist for many years... not anymore. You'd think after four years.... wait, she's just BSC. No other way to say it.


Still received calls from hospital about mom. One was a cardio. Not sure why she was calling me, they have all the records. Maybe they were getting ready to release her and she needed a ride. I'm guessing they called her anger dump recipient. Finally got my hair chopped. Had let it grow out to point it had a curl at one end and I would comb it like the skater dudes back in the 1980s. DC finally asked me to get a hair cut. I asked her to get a Brazilian wax. She said she would think about it. Then I pontificated... nice for while, then when it grows out, my face will look like I fell off my bike on the way to school. Did get mine cut... like it. If it takes me over five minutes to fix my hair, ballcap or just let it go as it is. When it was long, DC wanted to try something with it, I was game. When she pulled out a curling iron... no, no, no. -Why?- "It actually damages the hair and the follicles." DC looked at me really weird. What can I say... the XW was a stylist at some time.


The haircut. I have used the same female for the last couple years. Actually used her / co-workers way back in the 1980s. Being a teen at the time, yes by all means, I had a crush on her. She is nine years older than me. She knew XW since they both did hair and were close in age. I can still remember her some 30 years ago. She was about 24.... long hair, mega-hottie.... and there was me LOL a dorky 15 y / o with 41 chest hairs and peach fuzz. I did ask her out... told her I could get into the clubs too (fake ID), we could dance the night away. I'm sure she got many laughs out of that then. Course now...it's different, I'm a close friend of her kid brother, her dad passed and her mom is in bad health. Times sure change.... sure she is still a mega-hottie for her age but I try not to view it in that way. If not.... she would easily be one of those MILFs everyone talks about. I did tell DC about my crush on her. -That's 30 years ago and not now right?- She told me hers... her senior history teacher. Said he looked like John Cusack. Oooook... must be a girl thing. 


Her parents came down Saturday. We ate at her place and they (DC / her mom) were going to look for crafts afterwards and her dad and I were going to ride by the house and tinker with the Corvette. DC was nervous as a ho in church. This has to be a female thing.... has to be. DC put out a seven course meal.... for four people.... WHY! Her dad dotes on her mom. They seem to be a really happy couple... no put-ons or fake presentations (like UGs). Later on in the afternoon.... -why didn't you pull out mom's chair, why didn't you compliment her on her hair, why didn't you take her coat, why didn't you.....- "1-It's 75 outside, WTF she wearing a coat, (small thing around shoulders, not sure what that is, help me out RedSonja), 2-I'm sorry but I don't sleep with your mom, 3-That's your dad's job, not mine." -I'm not sure if you're ready for a real relationship- "Feeling's mutual."


I had written more. I'll leave it at this.... maybe one day she will grow up. I seriously doubt I will be around to see it.


----------



## Red Sonja

Chuck71 said:


> When she pulled out a curling iron... no, no, no
> 
> *Girl comes at guy with curing iron ... , now that's scary. What's next hairspray?
> *
> 
> (small thing around shoulders, not sure what that is, help me out RedSonja)
> 
> *It's called a "shrug" in the common vernacular, a "capelet" if you are in high society, or a "wrap" in the south. Aren't you glad you have me as a fashion consultant?
> 
> *


----------



## Chuck71

LMAO ...... the humor was much needed tonight. Thank you.
Capelet? Is that similar to the Montagues? If memory serves, she wanted to do a Billy Idol 1970s UK punk thing.

Back to the drawing board.... live n learn


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## Chuck71

This isn't a vent.... just a WTFE. Watched the UT-Bama game today. Had two friends over. Ended up the partial Hangover Crew ended up being the Depression Crew. It wasn't too bad. They knew my story. I really was into DC. Saw something.... course my gut warned me a good while back. But doesn't your gut always warn you. Guess age difference plays a factor, we being almost 20 years apart. How would have Chuck 1996 handled this? Been a rough week all around. Missing someone does not mean you want them back, it just means you are in mourning. Reminds me a lot of 1994 as we watched the game.

Late summer August 1994, 2nd love and I split up "for the last time." We were together the next two summers but it never was anything more than FWB. My HS running buddy, a week later told me he and his W were getting a D. I was his best man at the wedding. We had two mutual friends who were also in the same boat. We sure were a miserable bunch. Course being the age we were, we partied and had a "good 'ol time." Looking back... we had a blast, we just didn't know it yet.

I'm hoping the same thing will turn out this time. Course a lot less "craziness" as over two decades ago. One guy I have tried numerous times to get an account here, won't. He's read some of the stories I sent him, being close in situations as his. He's a nice guy, too nice. Same thing with the other except he's just nice. If he feels he is being slighted, he acts accordingly. Sad part for me is... I get to hear his play by play, not that I don't care to (he's been there for me), he just second guesses himself. He's tried to get an account here but it will not sign him up. I'm wary of having him sign up for one here being I'd like to stay a member. 

I'd like to think I am giving them the right advice. Always said it's much easier giving advice on others than acting on your own. Did my stomach knot up when I had to tell DC I don't think it's gonna work? Oh yeah... didn't sleep that night. Course my stomach knotted up when I told UG it was over and when I decided it can never go back with WC. In both cases, I made the right decision. I feel the same with DC.

Thankfully I can close this on another "Can you Believe this Schit" moments, starring WC. After talking to my xBiL about a time he will finish getting his stuff, he shows me a link. Not even two weeks after her "soulmate" died, WC had a Match profile up. The lost child continues to run.....


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## farsidejunky

Sorry, Chuck.


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## Tron

farsidejunky said:


> Sorry, Chuck.


Ditto. Hang in there.


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## Chuck71

I am very thankful mom was finally sent for a psychological evaluation. Maybe she can finally receive the help she needs. I had screamed this since last fall. Until a doctor steps in, it usually falls on deaf ears. I can assume her sister is helping her and I am grateful of that. She can take her actions, I refuse to. Which brings me to a point which was a catalyst in me ending thing with DC.

-I took care of my grandmother when she was dying and she called me everything in the book and I took it. You owe it to your mother to do the same- I'm sorry but calling me out after what I went through... not no, not he!! no but he!! Gdamn no. You may deal with it but I don't. I gave 110% and left everything on the field. no regrets.

After the break-up, although it was not in a conventional way, I had the pleasure of my Steelers once again, lose to a team on the road they should have easily handled. A friend offered to run by and cheer me up with drink and chat, as I had done previous for the friend. We rode the backroads as we sang some old Bon Jovi songs. Came back home and got ready to crash. Little past midnight... ding dong goes the doorbell.

Take a guess.... who it was. Take a guess.... what her first question was. Yes it was a female friend's car. Every time she assumed we were screwing, every time she assumed we were laying in bed talking about our futures together, every time she assumed we had been chatting behind her back for months, every time she reminded me of her coming over (out of her way) and screwing me (see charity case), every time she spend over $3.11 on me, every time she accused me of having females who hit like on a post I made on FB, wanting to sleep with me, every time she went out of her way for me (her choice, covert way of saying I never did for her).... what ever I had felt for her slowly vanished. I lost a lot of respect for her that night.

But I do not regret the ride we rode one damn bit. DC re-instated the fact.... there is something out there, something which rivaled or surpassed what I experienced before. No matter what she does in the future, I will always be thankful for that. He!! might even make for a good book in 2026, wrote one about two kids meet for four days on vacation, surely I could handle this. It would be great to think we would be like the two leads in About Last Night (1986) and run into each other four months later. But the Sunday night midnight visit virtually killed it. 

Some people are just meant to come into your life for a short time but leave lasting impressions. Just like the two that "just didn't work out" in 1991, or the one not long before I met the XW in 1997.


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## Chuck71

Went to see mom today for the first time since our blow outs in late July / early August. She was placed at a psychiatric facility for about five days. After her insurance ran out, they placed her in a "low end" hospital.. for people with TNCare. I would give whatever help I could to the nurses and doctors but from afar. After talking with a doctor last week, I knew things had went downhill fast. They asked for my consent to do a GI test on her stomach........ Last year, a doctor found a very small place on her stomach and wanted to run more tests (November '15), mom refused any type of further testing. Doctor even got back on the phone with me, stressing the importance. I stressed it to mom, still refused.

There is a large tumor in her stomach and they did a biopsy. I already know what it is.... sure as the Sun will rise Friday morning. This is why she has trouble eating and throwing up. Also she has asphyxiated pneumonia. Same thing her mother had near her passing. Mom hasn't the strength for surgery by no means. Her breathing is labored but not like summer 2015. After her triple by-pass I noticed her breathing was the best I had heard it in ...at least 20-25 years. But she never stopped smoking... 2-3 packs a day.

I almost hated to wake her. The nurses had just given her a bath and I waited outside for awhile.... seeing mom get a bath is something I don't care to see for quite a few reasons. Her declined state was a bit worse than what I expected. Talking seemed to take effort... I planned to stay an hour or so but I knew she was being labored. She said I love you.... as did I. She asked will I see her more, "As long as you aren't mad at me" -That stuff does not matter anymore- In other words, whatever hate and anger she had... it's either gone or she hasn't the fight anymore. She can't remember much... she has regressed back to a childhood state. I talked about xxxx and xxxx coming by later to see her (her parents). She asked if daddy was going to bring her some candy.

I feared this from what the doctor shared with me before I came. I asked 1st love to ride with me to see her. She was mom's favorite. Mom asked where our kids were. I didn't quite know what to say. Mom wasn't even aware she loved the food channel. The tele was on a retro channel with black / white movies. Given her age, I can see why the nurses did that. I don't know how I made it without breaking down. 1st love sensed I was close and said it was perfectly okay to. Somewhat a major reason why she came. Kinda made me go back to WTF we never made it.... but that's another story on another day. Mom will 99.9% likely be placed in a nursing home. Nursing home to ER to nursing home to ER.... then it's over. I will make it a priority to see her.... as much as possible. I just hate it took all this for her to separate herself from her anger. I kissed her on the cheek, said I love you.

One large thing in the major conflict I had with DC.... and if I am wrong, someone let me know. I will gladly apologize to her if needed. To me..... the last true Christmas I shared with mom was in 2014. I recall as plain as day telling her, I greatly appreciated it because for all we know, it may be our last Christmas together. Christmas 2015... I brought her to the house and she screamed how nasty the house was and it should be burned down (I posted on it). That.... to me, was not mom. That is not what I will remember. I loaded her up, took her back to her apartment. DC said I should not have done that being it may be the last Christmas she will be alive. "I guess you were able to put up with more schit than I am." I seriously doubt she will make it to Christmas.... I can't see Thanksgiving.... but if she is around, wherever it may be... I will sit with her. I may sit there with a book the entire evening but... I will have went. But I have zero regrets from taking her right back home for Christmas Eve, last year.

I have yet to break down..... but I have a strong feeling I am going to tonight. This will definitely call for a night of JD and reflections. Last year I purchased the book "Moon Man" by Tomi Ungerer. This was the first book I checked out when I started 1st grade. Mom read it to me and helped me read it next. Yes this is one of the pitfalls of having autism, you always remember stuff like this. This time..... I will just read it to her.


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## Tron

I'm sorry brother. You're a good son.

I don't know what else to say.


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## Chuck71

Well... "mom" has been gone since September 2015. The demon took mom away except for sporadic moments. Now the demon is gone. Even though she is now like Vader after being unmasked.... I can stand being around her now. The one fear I had was the last time I ever saw her was another one of those "F you" standoffs.


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## ButtPunch

Sorry bro....

I hate cancer.


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## TheGoodGuy

Damn Chuck. Sorry to hear all that. Take time to grieve when the time is right.. ..for you. Not on anyone else's timetable. Part of that might be before your mom is physically gone, or not. Up to you.


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## Chuck71

TheGoodGuy said:


> Damn Chuck. Sorry to hear all that. Take time to grieve when the time is right.. ..for you. Not on anyone else's timetable. Part of that might be before your mom is physically gone, or not. Up to you.


I've known mom was gone as early as 2015. She just progressively got worse. In my heart, she already died. Kinda like my D back in 2012, I knew it was over but it still hurt like he!!.

Now I'm getting calls from relatives who never said hi, boo, howyas doin... until wind of mom being in very bad state. Took them until now? Guess mom has something they want? 

LOL.... I always like a good fight, looks like I've got one. *eyeroll* 

Stand still.... if they grab, they get thorns. Which reminds me of a great love song, "Whole lotta Rosie"

by AC / DC. 8>)


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## Chuck71

I was summoned to the hospital after info exchanges with the doctors and supervisor of nursing. Sure enough the tumor she refused to have looked at last November is cancer. There is no need for chemo or radiation. Mom refused to take part in PT, well until I gave her a pep talk. She did quite well. This is important due to the fact the insurance will only pay for "skilled" rehab, as in wanting to get better. 2nd love has done nursing homes 25 years, I consulted her. But once she peaks and starts heading downhill, the facility will call me and give me two choices.

Either keep her at the facility which then... it will be an issue of terminal, the insurance will not pay. Then I could pay $400 a day for top of the line care. She would get the feeding tube and partially build up strength but be riddled with the spreading cancer, not to mention full on dementia. Or I could bring her home and let her die at home, hospice is covered by the insurance. No feeding tube nor cath. I know I'm one of the more freaky / kinky people but I will under no circumstances clean and wipe where I came from. But I can have private sitters (older females) who could really help me out with this. Okay... but no feeding tube, can't swallow... in other words, she would come home to starve to death. Something is really F'ed up with that picture. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

I actually thought, what would happen to her if I "claimed" to say, I can't take it anymore, I'm through with her. What type of treatment would she get / where would she go. With all these elderly abuse laws on the books, you'd think this would not happen. Oh... wait... wait... insurance companies are today's "God." But we're a civilized society... really? Another part of the de-evolution of society. LOL... no this is not my first rant about society. So... decision time. The supervisor of nursing stated mom had 7-10 days without the feeding tube. With a feeding tube.... she said maybe six weeks. But in what state will she be in? To counter the agony of cancer, lungs filling up / kidneys shutting down she will be so sedated, would she feel pain? Could she say if she did? Would she even know who I am? It may have once been patient care first but now it's investment driven..... you know, like the Matrix.

Bet I'm a life of the party huh! Well... mom and I talked a lot today. Mom and DC (don't ask) cut up, laughed, mom told all the times I was a little schit as a kid. Mom's stories were sketch but we got the meaning. I could easily tell it meant a lot to mom to come down and stay a few hours. Here is where I am so glad I put up with her schit so much, over the last year +. No regrets.... no apologies. I don't know, or could imagine how miserable I would feel if I brushed her aside.... until now. Talk about guilt.... damn! Yes I put up with more schit from her than any female ever. But...... only one mom. Can't break-up with your mom. 

Hundreds of things I would love to do over but millions of things I wouldn't change a thing. That's a pretty damn good batting average. Talked last week to my xBiL, being his mom was my MiL / 2nd mom. She died in 2007. We were close but we could talk man to man bout his mom, my mom. I never "trusted" him but I haven't really ever trusted anyone, not even pop, but mom 100%. We spoke several hours... next morning guess who I get messages from... yeah. Very inconsiderate.... kinda like me throwing away / burning the rest of his schit he hasn't came and got. Don't like it? Well... I didn't like what he did either. He can come to my front door, welcome it. If he brings his sister, he will receive a "very stern lecture, non-verbally."


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## farsidejunky

Sorry, Chuck. Prayers for your family, brother.


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## Chuck71

Mom was finally placed in a rehab facility for skilled care. There was quite a bit of the hospital seeing mom as "losing them money" and wanting her out ASAP. The social worker was placing her in a rehab who could give her a better "pic line nutrient" but this was 100 miles away. Her relatives are old, as in 60+.... and I was not fond of her being that far away. I would not get to run by and see her daily or almost daily. The SW set this up and the admissions called me to come the next day to sign papers. "WTH" Didn't say anything to me about mom being approved, whatcha think. I asked her for something closer, she again set up appointment for me to go to same place, 100 miles away. Now the first time, it was an oversight, the second time, I was not kind.

"Two things I do not mind saying to anyone is -no- and -Fyou-" SW tried to push mom out without me talking to the Dr. Even thought I knew the prognosis, still wanted to see the Dr. Luckily a rep from mom's insurance called me, spelled it out... mom can be five miles away from me and the relatives, Not as strong a nutrient feed but.... here is where the quality of life comes into play. She has cancer everywhere.... she can have the best nutrient bag known to humanity but it will only elongate the fact, cancer will kill her. If mom came home.... no nutrient bag, maybe week-ten days. I chose the one in the middle. I could sue a rehab / nursing home / hospital for not giving her the nutrient bag under abuse. But when she comes home...... something just isn't right. 

I was later informed by the insurance rep.... the SW had to ask mom's sister (yes my ex aunt) to leave her room several times because she was making mom exasperated. My question.... WTF didn't the SW tell me that? Mom is not at her hospital anymore but bet the farm I ain't done with her peek-a-boo schit. One of the times ex aunt was asked to leave must have been yesterday.... as I was pulling into mom's apartment to clean it up before turning her key in. Ex aunt, first time I had seen her since I guess March, yelled my name and said -Go to hell xxxx- I smiled, "I hope that made you fell better saying that." No need to engage, as pop said -When you argue with a fool, you wonder who the fool really is- 

I carry no grudges with mom, wasn't her the last year. Former TAM great Zillard once said his XW was great nine years and had that one bad year. He was willing to give it a try, and I agreed. Mom was great 43 of my 44 years.... yes we had rough patch after pop died and yes it played a part in me staying at friend's houses and eventually, moving in with my future XW. But once we had separate addresses, things were okay. Mom can no longer care for herself so...... I can finally say, as to my ex aunt, "Gloves are off bytch" 8>)

In closing, things have been weird. Really weird. 2nd love has been a HUGE help. 1st love has offered to help however she can. WC / XW even offered to help.... betcha knew that was coming..... said no to XW. DC.... I never told her don't say it, show it. We were through. I can't tell you what she has done.... it just doesn't add up. But right now, I need all the help I can get. Mom's relatives are old, they may offer encouragement from a far but, it's just me. DC helped me move mom's stuff, clean-up afterwards, clean her carpet, situate mom's things here at my place, was a surrogate for me with the SW in mom's future care, make sure I'm ok. WTF? He!! when I turned mom's key into the manager's office, she said she would pray for me and my wife. "We aren't married LOL" -Could've swore you were. She really loves you, I'm an old broad and I can see it- Weird schit..... just weird. Boundaries are up, try to and I'll smile and act accordingly.

"Being nice takes no effort but being an a$$hole does. Let them sweat," Mom 1987

My ex aunt is now like my STBXW.... LOL..... act accordingly 
See... life isn't complicated!


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## Chuck71

Not really know where to start but.... I called it / WETF it was with DC a second and last time. I have boundaries and I stick to them. Sad... she has a good soul. Showing up at 10 on a date scheduled for 7, no call / message... very inconsiderate. Or I'll be there at 7 or 8 and show up near 1AM... and is mad I won't come to the door.... seriously! Banged on the door, window, blowing the phone up, trying to video chat. -I know you're here, your FB is active- I don't have a smartphone btw. I was sitting in the kitchen with the lights off, having a drink, chatting with an old TAM vet on the phone. After 45 minutes, she left. I messaged her at 4AM "WTF are you talking about.... I was visiting mom in hospital after you did your no-show, no call." I then went to bed. 430AM... guess who is banging on my door. Guess who wanted to argue. "It's late, I'm fvcking tired, I'm going to bed. Stay or go, up to you." She stayed, had a great weekend. I told her my tolerance for this flightiness has about reached its end.

Not even two weeks later.... same thing. No late night at my door this time. Wouldn't have answered anyway. I'm bummed a bit but nothing like a month ago, it really bothered me then, even if I did call it. I'm probably guilty of hoping we would be together through mom's last stage. I pretty much see it as the scene in About Last Night where they break up, when Moore says -You started out real strong but you're finishing like a wimp- Pretty much how it went. Like H4F said... I was so damn close. But I can say "I had the time of my life," don't get to say that many times.

I re-did my OLD profiles and since I'm "new meat" I am getting many hits. I'll check them out later. Like I told Pac-Man... just post it and let them come to you.... cuts out wasted time with attention seekers desperate for an ego boost. Same thing is already starting though... never figured out why. On POF... I list I want kids and have none. Still getting messages from women in late 40s and early 50s..... who of course, have doesn't want kids on theirs. *eyeroll*

WC is using the same bank as I do. How do you know Chuck? An NSF charge was sent to my address. LOL Some things... never change. A female friend has a cousin who is a drunk but collects disability, we're thinking of setting them up 8>)

I sat at the lake (betcha already knew that) and just had memories flash by. DC sent a message after the break-up -I still want us to be friends- and -I will never forget you- WETF that means LOL. I actually do know what that means. BTW she blocked me afterwards LMAO. Guess Ratt got the nod over Danger Danger. How do I feel now.... Well I will lift a song from Mike and Angie's break-up, early 1988.....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJ4wa-432xQ Paul Carrack-Don't Shed a Tear for Me


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## Chuck71

Mom has maybe a week to go. Non-verbal, breathing labored. Held her hand and talked about times gone by. Veteran hospice nurse stopped in to check, she knew….. -just let it out- Cried like a fvcking baby. I am so thankful how I handled her actions the last year. I feel like schit and have zero regrets. She knows that, I know that. I’m not religious in an organized religion sense but I do believe. Said the Lord’s Prayer while holding her hand, just like I did pop 20 years ago. Could be tonight, could be a week, but with her stubborn arse could be a year lol. We forgave everything last month…. No ill will, just memories of prior August 2015. That’s what I will carry with me until I too, return to dirt. It was only four years ago…. She looked at me, in a sad sack state while D was looming, -She did you a favor, she set you free- The maker of mashed taters, visual subscriber to People magazine (never read stories, just viewed pics and crossword), no classroom education in 50 years…. Took me, a PhD candidate to school, on life. Aside from XW / WCs crazy action that night in the garage which led to Conrad to term her “Window Cork,” that was the best feeling I had in those numb times.

I really wished things would have worked out with DC… she was beyond helpful. Had neither of the blow ups happened and she was with me through this, that would have told me a great deal about her character. Sadly I can not say that to any degree. I saw a light with her, just a glimpse, that I saw once before. WC 1997 would have stood by me through this, never showed up hours late for a “date,” and made herself available anytime. That’s what couples “in love” do. Roxette said it best in ’87, -it must’ve been love but it’s over now- 


OLD….. back at it…. UGH. Had few dates, meet n greets. Even met up with MB, my 1996-97 flame first time in 20 years. Drama queen then, same as now. She was the one right before I met WC. I’m on Zoosk for the first time…. I recall DC saying it was decent when she tried it. Guess who is back on it too….. guess who gives my profile more hits than a coke head -just wanting to relieve stress-. Same profile since day 1, no new pics. Guess I’m a hard habit to break LOL …. Not taking the bait, can’t really see a logical reason to do so, TBH. It could’ve, it even should’ve…. But wasn’t. She showed me who she really was, twice, I believe her……


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## Chuck71

Mom passed this evening. Not much to say at the moment. Now she can eat all the foods she couldn't and drink all the Cokes she wants. Just don't get into a cuss fight with pop as soon as you get to where you are going *wink*

Ex FWB gave me a Bon Jovi CD one of the last times we were together. It had a song which stuck with me and on this occasion, it would be fitting....

Live before you Die


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## TheGoodGuy

Sorry for your loss Chuck. Hang in there buddy.


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## Chuck71

I haven't broken down "yet". In a sad way, part of me is waiting for DC, who was with me through most of the downfall. Yeah not healthy but schit, I'm human. I did something yesterday that the guys may 2x4 me for..... well, if it is deserved, so be it......

When I was going to xxx yesterday to get mom's stuff I heard on the radio about the F3 tornado that hit xxx, that's where DC lives. I almost turned around. I called her from the nursing home asking if she was okay. She acted like she wasn't sure who I was (lie). DC said she meant to FB message me about how mom was doing (who knows, lie?) I told her she can come here if she needs anything, food. I was just worried about her. She asked if I was working at said nursing home (weird), She knew that's where mom was. Anyway... she kept acting like she wanted to talk, nothing specific, and I kept telling her I was on company phone. I left it as "if you need anything just holler" and that was that. Once power came back on about 8 hours later, I was going to tell her to come over if she needed to........ since yesterday.... or this morning after calling her? she blocked me on FB again.....

Two were killed not even 300 yards away..... I was genuinely concerned for her..... I will admit that. It was a #2. Just the blocking me, seriously.

Of all the people I have back chatted with.... from TAM, I know damn good and well, I would say "stand still." Easier said than done.... as my profile on TAM indicates from 2012. NC / 180ing is easy for me... but my heart says otherwise. 

Her dad's heath is not the best by far.... I would have gladly returned the favor. But this is a choice I can not make. I can not control what other people do and choose. Hurt.... he!! yes but I did the right thing. Sometimes doing the right thing hurts more.....


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## Tron

Been travelling. Very sorry to hear about your mom's passing.

Will say a prayer for ya'll.


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## Red Sonja

I am very sorry for the loss of your mother Chuck. (((hugs)))


As for the solicited 2X4, all I will say is this:

Calling DC after a natural disaster is just you being the decent human-being that you are. She was oblivious to that fact but … whatever.



Chuck71 said:


> When I was going to xxx yesterday to get mom's stuff I heard on the radio about the F3 tornado that hit xxx, that's where DC lives. I almost turned around. I called her from the nursing home asking if she was okay. She acted like she wasn't sure who I was (lie). DC said she meant to FB message me about how mom was doing (who knows, lie?) I told her she can come here if she needs anything, food. I was just worried about her. She asked if I was working at said nursing home (weird), She knew that's where mom was. Anyway... she kept acting like she wanted to talk, nothing specific, and I kept telling her I was on company phone. I left it as "if you need anything just holler" and that was that. Once power came back on about 8 hours later, I was going to tell her to come over if she needed to........ since yesterday.... or this morning after calling her? she blocked me on FB again.....


And, if you are willing to put up with the above type of behavior from her then she better be really, _really_, *really *good in bed. Sheesh. She isn't worthy of you Chuck, I hope you know that.


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## Chuck71

Red Sonja said:


> I am very sorry for the loss of your mother Chuck. (((hugs)))
> 
> 
> As for the solicited 2X4, all I will say is this:
> 
> Calling DC after a natural disaster is just you being the decent human-being that you are. She was oblivious to that fact but … whatever.
> 
> 
> 
> And, if you are willing to put up with the above type of behavior from her then she better be really, _really_, *really *good in bed. Sheesh. She isn't worthy of you Chuck, I hope you know that.


HUGS and thank you RS. I vent here where I can't otherwise. But no... the disrespect is a violation of my core beliefs. This was a sneak preview of things to come. I regret nothing about blowing it up twice. I know good and well I could find 25 posts where I have told the guy to "walk the F away," from a toxic relationship.

Of all the people I want to break down with, DC was top of the list. I will now go with option #2. All I wanted was her time and for her to value mine as well (during this I had major flashbacks to Zillards thing with Tiger).

I never realized it but the last three times with 2nd love in 1995 and 1996, I ended things because I did not like where things were heading, same thing with MC in 1996, the 1996-97 flame MB I ended because I was not getting what I wanted out of the LTR, dropped D papers on WC in 2012 when she refused to work on the M, told UG to move out when she refused to talk about things which bothered me in 2014... and twice blew it up with DC for no shows, poor communication, and not respecting my boundaries. 

My heart still loves her but... it will pass with time. I love loaded pizzas but I know if I ate them every day, I would be a 350 pound sloth. We don't always get what we want.... but sometimes, we get what we need. When my trust in someone is broken, might as well call it right then.


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## just got it 55

Sorry for your loss G

55


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## Chuck71

It's been a tough road here lately. Recently I reached the "clarity" stage after day seven of not eating. Days 7-12 are spectacular. Had to buy some new clothes. I did fall to my de facto #2 to break down. Well #2 was Window Cork / XW. She knew mom more than any other person. She knew the pain I was holding in. We talked a bit, caught up on old times. Not a drop of animosity in the air. We laughed and hugged as we did back in '97. We sat up late drinking coffee, like in the old days. We had sex like we did back in the old days. Yeah... but one must remember, I told Tom67 I would sleep with my XW after the Cubs won the World Series. Well... they won it.... and she just moved back to town. What can I say???

No... not a chance in he!! will I re-visit that situation. That night.... WC was the woman I knew back in '97. I will always love, who she "was." I even have to thank her for aiding me in my WC '97 measurements. Her then..... would do about anything just to see me, never show up late for a date, and always made herself available if I was having strife anywhere. If a female can't pass this test after 3-4 months.... walk the F away. Major reason I ended things both times with DC. I'm still pizzed off about things but.... grieve, move on. Ice cold is about here.

I have had support from many people I never thought would have stepped up their game / caring. Quite a few are ex g/fs.... most of my exs are friends on FB. Not that it is bragging or anything, but it does show I treated them with kindness through the years. Minus the occasional cuss fights LOL back in the day. My BFF / IC.... who I have been friends with 25+ years has pretty much said.... I'm now your stand-in mom..... you ask / call me any damn time. To talk, vent, cuss, WGAF..... and when you find your next serious LTR, I must meet them.... for approval. We don't see eye to eye on relationship issues anymore but.... it did mean a lot. We still hold many of the same viewpoints concerning life.

Zoosk isn't bad but the matches they send you, most are 75-100 miles away, shocker! As with POF.... take the mileage indicator with grain of salt. Add 50% to whatever is given.... 100=150, 40=60. Nice to know there are women 300 miles away that want to meet me but..... One is very interesting.... local... has apartment right on the river..... damn I could write novels forever there LOL She is coming to my place tomorrow.... see how it goes. Have another one for Saturday... should have met Monday but she had to cancel and even told me why. I fell out of my damn chair when she told me.... she started. Then she said I can't believe I told you that.... ummm yeah! Course like a female friend said.... -She still could have met you for Heaven's sake but.... if she was eyeing sex....- Hmmm.... 

DC is still viewing me 2-3x a day.... then deactivating her account. Am I that cute? LOL It did bother me, then it pizzed me off, now I just see it as... funny. My former FWB / now friend actually summed it up well.... and she is a complete airhead..... -She could not bring herself to end it so she forced you to, to avoid the guilt- Which reminded me of what BFF / IC told me about WC back four years ago..... -When she realizes there is no one else out there, she will be back- She was right..... By the time WC realized this, I was done. History will repeat itself, whenever. -People self-sabotage a LTR because they do not know how to act in one or because they do not feel they deserve to be in one- old TAM vet told me that.

Bandaged people, broken people.... welcome to dating in your 40s. How I wish I were born 50 years prior. Just follow the four types.... I still want Danger Danger's "One Step from Paradise" but... you can't settle for Meow Mix when you are wanting high end lasagna.


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## Chuck71

Sort of dreading the Christmas Eve / Day thing this year. No matter where I lived, mom would come where I / we or I / we go to her place. Can't do that anymore. I would hate to see me if she'd died suddenly *shudder* But the memories will carry me through. Her n pop made a Christmas card and had me on it.... 5 months old... red stocking on head and my bare arse showing. No one thought a thing of it.... then. Today I am sure CPS would have come knocking. Another "freedom" .... "policed away"

With DC, the girl I dated around my age back in the spring, and FWB from 2015.... don't really have a Top 10 Schitty Dates this year. Granted if I had a few more months, I would have. Met the ex-wife of a preacher. Drank coffee... we sat in the car, talked, she brought JD Sippin' tea, drank it in the parking lot. I won't go into any more details but all I see is her actions are in many ways, to make her feel she is getting back at her XH / preacher. Actually brought this up to her, complete denial... yeah ok.

Met one who proclaimed her utmost shyness. She FB'd me.... about every other day she would post a semi-revealing pic and 12-15 guys would eat it up. SMFH..... She checked her make up as often as a girl would at her Senior Prom. Nope...nada.... Talked to one, was interested.... nearby... she is a dog lover, as in four inside dogs, two small.... two huge. She must be related to WC. I'll pass. Another whom I had briefly chatted with right before DC and I got serious.... I messaged her, apologized for disappearing, etc. We talked on the phone a couple hours... very nice exchange. Right before we were to meet. she inquires about two pics on my profile.... claiming one, was not me. Guys... some of you know me away from here.... she referred to the pics taken in Nov '14 in a parking lot (I hate that pic btw) and the one a month later in what looks to be, a medical office. Granted... I dropped at least 30 pounds in that time.... but the two pics aren't the same person???? GTFOH.... Cancel that meet.

And there's always.... the crazy one. Not exactly crazy but.... about my age, D, four kids, all grown but one, is 17. XH worked in Huntsville, made killer $, "said" she got lifetime alimony (in Alabama?). She halfway admitted she is severely Co-D with her kids being they took sides in the D. Guys.... it gets better.... she is.... *gasp* a nurse. Anyway... I was already PO'd that day, friend told me DC already had pic up of her n new guy -No need to look... severe downgrade and I'll bet that was done just to pizz you off. Why else post a guy who is a "4" when you are an "8"- WETF that means but... the friend meant well. So here's Chucky.... ready to entertain a "high society" female.

Cranked up Autograph "Turn up the Radio" as she was coming to my place for the 1st meet.  We had chatted a good bit, I'm a great conversationalist, what can I say? She met the dog in the yard, planted his nose you know where (good doggy). She brought two bottles of wine, and was nervous as he!!. Few hours in she relaxed, made out, all over me, I had a slight buzz, she drank way way too much. I have a rule, no 1st time sex when both are lit... impaired judgement and it Fs all your emotions up. We jumped up n down on 3rd base all night.

When a woman gets tipsy, I think it's cute. But when she drinks too much, very unattractive. Several times she indicated she wanted to go all the way but I was steadfast. Granted I heated her up like a turkey on Thanksgiving. We were slow dancing to some old Journey and stumble, stumble, stumble..... unattractive. The kicker... she had to be at work at 8.... she was very intoxicated, and still poured the last of the two wine bottles in her glass at.... 330AM. So drunk she had trouble flipping her ashes in the ash tray, which was the size of an NFL lineman's arse. Not for me..... drinking issues. How do those turn out LOL

Again... all I see on OLD are women + / - five years of me, D, just wanting to screw. Not what I want. Yes it may be "what I need" but I don't care for it. Single females 25-35, no kids, won't respond to a message. Sad.... Course I do get the 30somethings with four kids by three guys who work part time at a fast food joint and nothing past a HS diploma. *Eyeroll* Seems everyone doesn't want to date anymore, just screw, be FWB until one or both get invested and then it blows up like a reality show. Which had me to think...... DC sold me an LTR but "bait n switched" it with FWB. Sex was never a problem. By doing things together, I was under the impression it was a LTR.... maybe she entertained that and got scared. Either way.... not my problem.


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## Chuck71

It was really weird Christmas Eve / Day. The fact Pittsburgh was on helped.... I finally ate (I was fasting recently but also just not in the mood to eat period) and it was a pack of rolls and mashed taters.... run the rolls in the taters. Just like old times.....

Began talking to a girl from POF, we messaged on FB some, saw her last name and had to ask. Yep.... she was the XW of a guy I went to school with. Actually he was a bully. We had a run-in not long after my botched surgery and well... I had to stand down. I'd say a decade passed and I saw him in the Wal-Mart.... had just met WC, maybe six months prior. Handed her my wallet and rope chain and took him down. Granted this guy was 6'3 and 375.... a good 200 lbs more than me. I'm still barred from that Wal-Mart (I guess). Anyhow.... yes we did meet, hit it off, etc. etc. etc.
Weird thing was.... WITF did they get along? She has a great job, very intelligent, sharp financially (huge turn on), kinky........ OK.... here's the rub. She has twins.... one is CP, cerebral palsy. I have worked with CP children / adults many times... they're always happy, excited.....made me jealous in a way. The twins take up a lot of her time, a lot. So we sort of... left it at that. She had been D for a couple years but..... she isn't ready for anything heavy / serious until her kids get older. And the CP runs in her family so.... any more kids would be a risk.

Met another from POF.....was actually the one I mentioned thinking my two pics were of different people. She emailed, apologized several times..... so we spoke a bit and met. I must have forgot... she was 5'11..... little weird. I was honest to goodness nervous.... more than usual. Could have been the fact I had broke out with rosacea. My guess is all the stress I had over mom... is coming out. Anyway... I informed her of that up front. She works PT with a group who sells non-medical supplements. She brought a small cream and asked me to try it. It appears to be working, even on the skin cancer... which I'm getting taken care of either way very soon.

Anyhows.... she seems very grounded, knows what she wants in life, 38, always wanted kids, is a widow. Now for the rub..... her late H was bi-polar but was under control until the Dr.s kept adding medication. By the time he died, they were separated, many states away, and on 20 meds. She turned to God.... and is a borderline Jesus freak. I believe in God, do not care for organized religion, have stated that for many years. I don't need someone thumping the Book, I know what's in it. I don't get along with people who want to play "I'm more religious than you," Well.... she kept on and I had had enough.... "So you say, you do not read anything outside of Christianity, no Hindu, Buddhist, Confucianism, Jewish, Islamic? CS Lewis is one of my fav authors, he wrote The Divorce of Heaven and He!! after..... after..... reading William Blake's The Marriage of Heaven and He!!. To debunk it, he had to read it."

We're planning to go out again but.... if I see any religious manipulation, I'll call it then and there. And.... one more to mention. She was cute, very little make-up, was very brash on the phone but.... when we met..... yeah, nervous as crap. Few years younger than me, D, no kids, just moved back from Montana. Ended up... depression, anxiety issues... it was more a shrink session than a date. We went hiking and came to an oversee..... asked her to play Pink Floyd's Learning to Fly...... "You have to let all that schit go or it will eat you alive"........ M for ten years, he didn't want kids, D about 12 years ago but has wondered aimlessly since. Now she is realizing she may not have kids (ablation surgery -sp-) and is just.... a complete mess. You would not have ever known this talking on the phone with her. You would NEVER know... a girl with natural beauty like her.... has so many demons. Date? Sure... but nothing serious.

Dating..... 2017 style..... damn I wish it was more like 1997, much more simple then. Oh.... the FWB then FWNB when I started seeing DC..... she came up to help me sort through mom's stuff. She spent the night, no sex..... then she says ILY.... out of Fing nowhere. I'm going to have to end it completely with her..... I don't want her to think there is a future with us, which I "thought" she knew.

See why I would rather be with one person.... not have to run into schit like this LOL.


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## Chuck71

Had a post partially done a good while back and saved it somewhere but can't recall WTF I put it. Anyway... had a small Super Bowl party. Few couples here... one took Atlanta and 5.5 points. By halftime he and his g/f were flying high. When the score was 28-3... he was on EBay buying stuff with money he won. Let's just say he was still confident at 28-28. Final... 28-34. He was sick as a dog. He was literally in the back yard crying and his g/f was giving him sheet for losing the bet AND spending the amount of the bet. They almost split over it. He bet a huge amount, the EBay fiasco took their vacation money. I think he is working a P/T job to get the $ back.

I wanted to give three months after mom's death to initiate contact again with mom's side to obtain items still at her sister's residence. The items were here back in the summer but after I told her to leave, of course she took them too. Everything she took was mine but one item. I had hoped but never put any merit in mom's oldest sister's son and daughter contacting me after her death. I added them to FB. Nothing since about two weeks after her death. The son was one who helped move. He portrays himself as a lay preacher but, I see another side. I will contact the police first, explain, then may contact male relative one last time. I don't see it doing any good and that's just as well, when I obtain what is mine and mom's from her sister's residence..... I will wash my hands of all her family. Not a huge deal, I really never knew them anyway.

The Hangover Crew has been talking to me and leaving everything open ended about how I feel after mom's death. "We're here, when you're ready." It's kinda weird.... I have had dreams about them but most were before I was born. They were both damn hot messes. I honestly question why they even tried to have kids. But mom waited to have me around the age which is now the norm for women to have their first child, 27. I always remembered what pop taught me, he!! most of my advice I give is what he told me. But I seem to recall and see us talking in the garage when he would usually explain life in general, with a great deal of clarity. Or mom cooking in the kitchen, maybe a few years older than I am now.

I clashed with pop a ton more than I did mom, up until the Summer of '15. Yeah... I'm sure there were times I said things to mom I probably shouldn't have but she did the same thing. I'm quite sure her delusional sister has portrayed me as a soulless demon. WTFE... if the relatives want to believe her, they too have several slices missing from a full loaf. Where I come from... you ask that person if what said was true, listen as they verify or debunk the accusations, then decide for yourself. No one has yet to ask me..... and IbeGdamn if I am going to run around trying to clear my name with people who already have judged me yet do not actually know me.

When I started seeing "this girl" and while with the guys.... I would tell stories, even the bad ones near the end when mom devolved but.... with no sense of regret. I actually would be smiling and laughing. I know the things I did during her spiral, were things I had to do... to protect myself. Mom knows that too. 

I'll try to catch-up on things in the next few posts.


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## Chuck71

I finally got the evaluation from the plastic surgeon about the cancer. He was an old soul and very blunt. He really didn't paint a nice picture. But I could tell he was going from a worst case scenario. I respect that. I'm not nervous... he!! I've been through much worse. But it needs to be done.

I have made several repairs on the house. Part of me wants to put it on the market. Then part of me knows there is no way in he!! I would pay for another, at the prices they want. It's like the beach house I thought about buying back in '06... priced at $425k. I did a cost analysis and $299k would kill it dead. Oh... that did not even include home owners.

Maybe a trek West is what I seek. I'm more Libertarian than most. WY, MT, ID.... dunno if I could be a cowpoke though. CA maybe but east of I-5. Up in the mountains. Maybe FL. A sleepy town on the Gulf. Not Panama City Beach..... not today. One huge tourist trap. Wasn't like that...... the way I remember it in the 1970s and 80s. Hawaii? I'd hate to see how much it would cost to transport all your crap there.

And.... "look what the cat dragged in" ... meaning I got a visit from...... DC. Surprised? Not in the least. Timing? Not in the least... she just completed her masters. I received a message on FB, after she unblocked me LOL.... told me about her upcoming graduation, which I of course, knew. -Is it okay if I run by for a second?-

I was working in the back yard. She brought treats for Boner and his g/f. Small talk..... blah blah.... -I have a great job offer in xxxxx (150 miles away) and I am going to take it......... unless you would not want me to.- "Not want you to? WTF are you talking about?" -Give me a reason to stay baby and I will-

"That is your job offer and your decision to accept or reject it. I don't know WTF you are asking me to decide, we are not together." Banter....... -I'm sorry for the way I acted. I left you hanging and your mother was dying.- "That you did." -Is there any way I can make it up to you?- "Yes there would be........ if you had any character. That you lack. You will fit in well in the business world." Tears, a few, pouts, whines...... -So there's nothing left for us is there?-

"Well..... (I just looked at her, she knew what was coming) if I wanted you to stay, how long would it be before you screamed -you held me back- and don't bat them eyes at me like you wouldn't. I'm an old man with half a brain... I know how these end. In my book what did Mike tell Cara about her scholarship in 1990?" -He told her to go or she would end up hating him.- "Very observant!"

There was a pause.... -So there's nothing I can do to fix everything.... I know I screwed up and ran.- "Y'know... if you would have stood by me.... and had my back, I would have seriously considered marrying you later this year or in '18. But.... now I can not hear what you are yelling because your actions speak so loudly." (BTW.... thanks for that saying Yoda)

-So what we had last year, was nothing.- "I thought it was something, you obviously thought otherwise." Banter banter banter..... -I'll take the job and leave you alone. I know it doesn't mean schit to you but I loved you. I wanted to be with you. I was scared. And I wanted to make this up to you.- "You acted like an entitled 16 y/o and I treated you as such. Maybe you will be mature enough to deal with your next relationship. But it will not be with me."

-Did you even love me at all?- "I did.... but like the tree in the creek over yonder... it's dead. We had a once in a lifetime but it just wasn't at the right time." Cries.... -WITF are you doing this to me?- "Your actions dictated everything.... from the late night visit with a friend over, to the showing up at 430am, and making me an option, not a priority. I deserve better." She just looked at me like an assassin ..... "I need to get back to me work in the yard, good luck with your new job and city."

That was about it....... Did I know it was coming, yeah.... I did. "If a woman runs away at the slightest thing, she ain't got a reason to have a good man"- Grandma

Can't say it any better than her..... dropped outta school after 5th grade.... smartest freaking woman I ever knew


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## TheGoodGuy

All for the best Chuck. She might understand the lesson life is trying to teach her one day. Fortunately for you you've already moved past and onto the next adventure.

We went camping out in the middle of nowhere this past weekend. Have some friends whose family has a small dot of land surrounded by national forest. There are some folks who live way out there in that area, and YG and I were discussing what it might be like to be so far away from civilization. We decided we might go nuts trying to live that far away. We like being right on the edge of "town". I have farmland across the street from my house but I'm only about 5 minutes away from the more populated sections. It's a good balance for us.


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## Chuck71

The surgery was a success. I actually came out better than the plastic surgeon anticipated. The graft is doing better than he expected and even one isolated part, is active. He said that is very rare for someone over 18. He even went on to say -you're still purty- LOL. The price quoted beforehand, was not the price delivered. Odd... will look into this. My de facto mom took me down. The person who numbed me and dug into my flesh informed me if there would be any major pain involved, pain relief was available. That was a F'ing lie. But it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

The worst part was with Dr. Plastic. I was told, before, he was going to asses the "wound" and set a date for the graft. Oh nooo .... he started immediately. I have a high tolerance for pain but needles aren't my deal. I was poked with so many needles as a kid in the hospital, I hate them, even if it's just to draw blood. Not sure exactly where he poked me but the needle was a foot long and it was somewhere behind my ear. My arse came off the table, I cussed, and farted. Then I realized a female was in the room too.... kind of embarrassing. Not the cussing, just the farting.

Myself and "this girl" were hanging out at the house, watching a few movies. Went to bed, woke up, when she had to go I was walking her to her car and whoaaaa. A tree fell on the house. We did not hear a thing. I am hoping to repair part of the roof and get an inspection. The roof is 9-10 years old, if it can stand another 10 years, not worth replacing entire. Plus I would be able to set aside funds to off-set the rise in my home owners. After a claim, it WILL go up. For three years, no other insurance company will touch you (at least in my area), after a claim. So for 36 months, I'm their bytch. They can go up as much as they want. To beat it all, it was a tree not on my property. But I have no chance of going after the guy who owns the vacant lot, to re-coup my deductable.

"This girl" and I have been dating awhile now. Has been a big help on what to do with mom's stuff. I'd rather give it away than throw it away. Even sold a few things that 4th love left. We took a mini-trip on the proceeds. Heck we even went to the lake..... no not the lake where I live near. It was in another state. Nice girl, not prissy, a slight touch of mountain in her. She wants to learn how to use basic power tools. Cleans up really well. Sound familiar?


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## Chuck71

Wail, Whale, and Well.....

Anyone ever watch the old Dukes of Hazzard? Remember Rosco.... the one who made the annoying "gu-gu-gu-gu" sound every time Boss Hogg would scheme up some BS? That is the sound I am making right about now. Believe it or not, for several reasons. I inquired about my bill (surgery) and indicated it was told to me it would be xxxx. They looked back and in my notes it did say that. They took off $800 without me having to go Perry Mason on them. I did say at first, the surgery was very successful and if the balance is what I owe, I will pay it. I would like, I guess, an explanation more than anything.

When my step-son was kicked out back in 2011, he was influenced by a group of thugs. TF was the ring leader, a small time BS con artist. Anyhow... TF screwed my step-son over not long after he was kicked out *shocker* The short time step-son still lived with us and he knew TF, things began coming up missing. Well.... one of the guns....................................................... just turned up. I honestly do not know who got it, step-son or TF, but as I said to Window Cork in 2011, he was guilty by association. That gun, as with the others, were VERY well hidden. TF could not have found it on his own. TF was arrested attempting to break into a home with the gun. I got a call from a friend and I am ..... gu-gu-gu-gu-gu... going to have the pleasure of sitting in on an interview while TF throws everyone under the bus. I'm sure he will my step-son or, well ex step-son. He never admitted to anything so until he does, he is dead to me.

I did intentionally message WC and briefly mention TF and he is throwing everyone under the bus. Just a bit of planting. I did not contact ex step-son, no need..... I'm guessing his mom did. But to a degree... in all the messages she has sent since her return to my city.... she has not mentioned him much at all. Trouble in paradise? Karma works, just gotsta haves patience. I would like to know what happened to the things that were stolen. Those items can never be replaced. The guns were mine, left by pop. I had mom declare them as hers because if they were mine, WC could say she let him borrow it and it was lost. Yeah... sure, WTFE. This opens the door to reign hell on TF and ex step son. If WC wants to get involved, so be it. Was planned years ago.

The roof was declared a total loss. So I get a new roof. No complaints from me. The appraiser dude was very generous. A few repairs I can do myself, others I can get a friend to do. I finally feel like I have made a huge dent into mom's stuff. Thanks of course, to "that girl." There is a diamond necklace I was not even aware of that pop got her in 1992, has certificate and all. I bet pop was in the doghouse for him to do that LOL I may keep it, I don't know. Mom kept the card to the flowers I got her (2000 maybe?) for Mother's Day.... "I can have a million wives and girlfriends but I only have one mom." Even found the ring pop had, "Gentleman's Ring." Definitely do not want that, too gaudy, not my style at all. Will sell that. Mom had pop's watch and I will keep that. He had that watch since I can remember. Luckily I do recall the battery in it, must be put in backwards or it will not run.

Going through her stuff, did get to me more than I expected. "That girl" picked up on it a bit but did not say anything. Pop was notorious about keeping receipts. Mom found some he kept from the 1960's after he passed. Well.... he's got company. We found receipts, manuals, warrantys from the 1990's. I'm convinced my ADHD / autism is by no means a coincidence. I know I will keep mom's coat, at least for awhile. It still has her perfume on it. After "that girl" went home, I smelled it and had the tears drop. I knew I would, reason I waited until she left.

I was really glad I found mom's car title. I had previously thought her passive-aggressive, Co-D, drama queen, 4x divorcee 4'7 troll sister had gotten it. It wouldn't have mattered, I'd had to apply for a lost title, $50 to have it recorded at auto insurance place. And I would have swore a warrant out on her for theft. I found the Corvette title... I placed it in mom's name right before I got married. There's a story about the title / ownership of it dating back to the 1970's but I'll save that until later.

"That girl" and I have been hanging out awhile now. As with any other, she does leave stuff here. But it's not female products..... she's left a Foreman grill, blender, *gasp* a tiller. I can handle that. Even took trash bag in bathroom out to dumpster when it was filled with Tampex. And doesn't leave a freaking bag of them here for future consideration. She plans to bring her baseball cards by to have me look at them. She collected with her dad back when everyone was collecting them and they flooded the market. My birthday is coming up and it would be nice to see her in a nice teddy with an unopened pack of 1971 Topps tucked between her teddy and breast. Not sure which one I would open first..... Hmmmmm.....


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## Chuck71

TheGoodGuy said:


> All for the best Chuck. She might understand the lesson life is trying to teach her one day. Fortunately for you you've already moved past and onto the next adventure.
> 
> We went camping out in the middle of nowhere this past weekend. Have some friends whose family has a small dot of land surrounded by national forest. There are some folks who live way out there in that area, and YG and I were discussing what it might be like to be so far away from civilization. We decided we might go nuts trying to live that far away. We like being right on the edge of "town". I have farmland across the street from my house but I'm only about 5 minutes away from the more populated sections. It's a good balance for us.


Living in the middle of nowhere does take getting used to. I'm not that far out. I am a good 15 miles from any major food store or eatery (unless you count Jim and Linda's Kuntry Kitchen). I could say I am on the edge as well. Part of me often considers living off the grid. 

I wouldn't worry about the food, you eat what you grow and if you eat it, you put a huge emphasis on planting, growing. Water is not a huge issue, lake is nearby. There are groups that do live off the grid nearby. They don't give seminars, they have you stay with them and learn hands-on. Electricity would be a major pain. I have oil lamps, mom's parents used them all the time being they grew up before and during the Great Depression. But these 98 degree, humid, muggy days..... day after day.... that would be a challenge. Not having the net would be tough. Social media..... you can have it.

I mean books, bios on people, the history of Albania, the GNP of Nepal... weird crap that only people like me are interested in. Good luck finding that at an average library. I still haven't gotten a smart phone. I don't think I ever will. The more people who say you HAVE to have it, the more I resist. A flip phone, sure.... in case car breaks down in middle of nowhere. I've had those. I don't need data, I refuse to text. Now talk to text.... maybe.

With debit cards and phones... government knows your every move. That may not bother most but it does me. Phones will eventually be small enough you can wear them as watches. Then RFID chips.... already have them for animals. Give it.... 2040. All the government needs to do is tell us we"need" them. Maybe have a huge spike in child abductions and convince parents it is needed for their child's safety. Something like V for Vendetta. Simply compare Eric Blair's Animal Farm and 1984 and Aldous Huxley's Brave New World to today's world.

That off the grid's looking really attractive now....


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## farsidejunky

She owns a tiller and she has baseball cards? Uh oh, Chuck.


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## Chuck71

farsidejunky said:


> She owns a tiller and she has baseball cards? Uh oh, Chuck.


:rofl::rofl::rofl: It's her dad's tiller. Dey do garden stuff, small scale.

I'm quite certain the cards are Topps, Fleer, Donruss, Score, Upper Deck, Leaf from about 1988-92. When everyone collected and the market was beyond flooded. If I had $1 every time a friend has wanted me to look through them hoping they have a gold mine. 

She collected with her dad about the time the Atlanta Braves started winning pennants. WC and MiL collected them at that time, as did UG. DCs dad would buy her some when she was young. Something about dads and daughters during that time and baseball / football cards.

Now if she pulls out some high number / SPs from the 1950s and 60s, I'm in trouble.


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## farsidejunky

IIRC, that was just after the McGwire Olympic printing, when upper deck was coming in, and the Murphy reverse bat on upper decks first run, correct? Topps with their cheesy woodgrain borders?

Guess who else had a ton of cards from that time... LOL


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## Chuck71

farsidejunky said:


> IIRC, that was just after the McGwire Olympic printing, when upper deck was coming in, and the Murphy reverse bat on upper decks first run, correct? Topps with their cheesy woodgrain borders?
> 
> Guess who else had a ton of cards from that time... LOL


McGwire..... 1985 Topps. Could have been bought for $3.50 each in 1994. Were the first cards I sold when I liquidated my collection, beginning in 1998. I figured he would get hurt again and miss the record. Wish I'd have waited. But I still got roughly 15x what I had in them. Upper Deck 1989 with #1 Griffey RC. Brought $250+ in 1999. Now.... $45. But it still brings 65-80% book in factory form. The Murf reverse negative once went for $200, now.... maybe......maybe $20.

Woodgrain..... Topps..... ahhhh 1987 Topps. They tried to retro the 1962 set. The 1987 Topps, Fleer, Donruss sets are really near and dear to me. I have the factory sets of each but also a banged up, hand made set of them. I like flipping through them, takes me back to when I was younger. It's my "cocaine" high and doesn't cost a thing.

After I sold my collection, what did I do? Started right back again LOL. Can't avoid my "coke highs" can I? But I collect only older cards. Of my huge want list.... 90% are commons and nick n dime cards.

How deep did you get into collecting them? You may have seen where I have posted, while in college I spent my $ on cards and not wine n women. I wanted something to show for the $ I spent. You have my ADHD kicking in now.

You plan on seeing Waters in Nashville next month?


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## farsidejunky

I was deep into the baseball cards for about two years, 87-89. I was drifting away when UD premiered, and spent like 6 months worth of under-the-table gas station work to buy a case. I was in too late for the Murphy reverse negative. 

I had 87 Topps coming out of my ears, some Donruss, etc. I gave them all away.

In 2009, I started collecting football cards. I spent too much money on newer and older RC's from my 49ers, and took the extra step of getting may of the BGS/BVG graded. At one time I had 1948 Leaf Leo Nomellini RC BVG 4 and a 1950 Bowman Y.A. Tittle RC BVG 5.5, 3 color auto jersey cards from modern ones, etc. I sold many of them since then when someone offered the right price. 

As to Waters, no I won't be going. I have a hard time with the thought of seeing him solo. Now him reuniting with Gilmour, Mason, and Wright would be more up my alley.


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## Chuck71

farsidejunky said:


> I was deep into the baseball cards for about two years, 87-89. I was drifting away when UD premiered, and spent like 6 months worth of under-the-table gas station work to buy a case. I was in too late for the Murphy reverse negative.
> 
> I had 87 Topps coming out of my ears, some Donruss, etc. I gave them all away.
> 
> In 2009, I started collecting football cards. I spent too much money on newer and older RC's from my 49ers, and took the extra step of getting may of the BGS/BVG graded. At one time I had 1948 Leaf Leo Nomellini RC BVG 4 and a 1950 Bowman Y.A. Tittle RC BVG 5.5, 3 color auto jersey cards from modern ones, etc. I sold many of them since then when someone offered the right price.
> 
> As to Waters, no I won't be going. I have a hard time with the thought of seeing him solo. Now him reuniting with Gilmour, Mason, and Wright would be more up my alley.


With Wright passing a decade ago, be quite hard. But I agree as well. I wanted to see Waters but after learning what he does at his shows (shows Trump in KKK robe holding a dildo), I respectfully decline. Completely tasteless and I would say the same thing if he vilified Clinton. I would be there for the music, not a pious political protest.

I hate graded cards. I also hated factory sets. If I buy the card, I want to feel it. I did a huge baseball card summary for the paper a few years back. I can send you the link. But if it is older cards which might be forgeries, whatcha gonna do? A TAM guy collects Goudey from the 1930s and he is virtually forced to only buy graded cards. 

The only football I collect is Pittsburgh team sets. A few other players I do try to get their main Topps card, all are retired. Baseball is enough, I can't afford two addictions. I have all of three basketball cards. Reggie Miller RC and a 1971-72 common and Jerry West. Those two were found in the attic when I first moved here in 1988 LOL.

I don't have near as many cards this time. Bet I had 20 million the first go around. This time, sets and sub sets up to 1996 with a couple exceptions. '96 is when I stopped collecting the first time. Old sets... I have Topps back to 1968. Have a 1965 and finishing up a 1966 and 1964. Working on a 1955 and 1958 Topps too.

Baseball cards pre-1981 are selling for a lot more than 10-15 years ago...... scarcity. Even the 1981-85s are bringing more (Topps). I'm finishing up a master set of 1977 Topps.... NM+/MT. Yes the set lists for $250 but a high end master set will bring $400 easy, super easy. Master set=able to send most off to be graded at least a PSA 9.

Like I said, if I learned math like I did cards as a kid, I'd have worked for NASA.


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## Chuck71

Bad news: When the sink was stopped up back in '15, mom kept trying to unclog it and running water under the sink onto the floor. I told her to stop, I will work on it. I did not get anywhere, so I called a friend. He brought a snake over and chipped a piece from the drainage PVC pipe. Then every time I came home, mom was trying to re-attach it and it was water everywhere. Called plumber.... fixed. Other day I was walking in kitchen and floor buckled. We pulled up the linoleum since I knew it was never glued down right after the D (another schit jack who mom recommended, but... money was a bit of an issue at the time). Anyhows... the lino can be saved. The friend was pricing what it would cost..... because the water leak did damage, and "that girl" began asking questions and giving recommendations. Blown away was an understatement. Her dad helped people finish houses for decades and he taught her two older brothers the trade and she obviously listened. Saved me (I hope) a good $500.

Funny news: As we were going through the stuff of mom's, we ran across something. It was way under the sink, was not WCs, wasn't mom's..... UGs? DCs? I don't know..... it was a bag with five pacifiers and had written in pen on the outside "Baby Jesus" on it. I profile(d) BSC people and it has me WTFing. I made a comment on it and.... it was cute seeing her drink come out her nose.

Good news: "That girl" wanted to get a good sunrise shot at a place not too far away from a casino. From my winnings last time........ she got $50 for being new visitor, lost it all (I told her it is hard to win on house money), might have put in $10 more, lost it. Whereas I, blew $380 and it was 3AM, we were ready to leave and I wanted to waste my last $20 in the high end room. Asked her to pick out a machine. She is part Irish, said the green one. Four spins..... nada, nada, nada, $600. Then I was ready to GTF outta there. Nothing like those 20 hour dates huh? 

So I had a comp night and a $10 voucher. I jokingly asked her what machine to waste the $10 on. She said go to the $5 machine, the cherry one. Her (sister's daughter) rode up after us and had lost $20 on it. "A damn cherry machine? Seriously?" So... I did a $5 spin.... $900. My last two spins that she recommended, wagering $10, netted $1500. WTF? After that I just wanted to cash out, have a few drinks, eat a pizza, watch Criminal Minds, and thank her for the advice.

I ended up peaking at around $2800 the next morning. I told her all this is house money. Let's quit now and that is two small trips or one big one for us. I never touched the $ I brought. I did lose around $750 playing the high machines and she did another $250. Still left with about $1700 house money. We are going back this week. When house money is gone, I'm through. Hoping that is not the case. Comp room, nothing to lose. Plus she can now get that sunrise shot if the fog isn't too bad.

Still uncertain, she reminds me a bit of UG in the beginning. But I am not a clingy person, I value my privacy. But it is only a few months in.... wait 'n see. One thing that was impressive was when she noticed her sister's daughter (24, smoking hot, married, one child) sucking up all the attention and flirting with guys at the casino. After she left, she mentioned she had a talk with her..... -Not wise to seek male attention when you have a good husband at home who is a great father..... Flirt with him, is it not the attention from him you seek?- They're having problems at home.... she just 2x4d her. Maybe she should get an account here?

Going really nice..... just waiting for the schit tests...... bout that time. Seems like yesterday I was at this moment with DC.... and we all know how that ended. Boundaries up, tested, re-inforced. Same game, different year.

If DeMello says..... hit the $100 machine, I'm hesitant. Oh..... DC is engaged. I pray for the guy. And WC asked for a ride to work. Unanswered. Again.... some need repetition....


----------



## hope4family

Chuck71 said:


> Bad news: When the sink was stopped up back in '15, mom kept trying to unclog it and running water under the sink onto the floor. I told her to stop, I will work on it. I did not get anywhere, so I called a friend. He brought a snake over and chipped a piece from the drainage PVC pipe. Then every time I came home, mom was trying to re-attach it and it was water everywhere. Called plumber.... fixed. Other day I was walking in kitchen and floor buckled. We pulled up the linoleum since I knew it was never glued down right after the D (another schit jack who mom recommended, but... money was a bit of an issue at the time). Anyhows... the lino can be saved. The friend was pricing what it would cost..... because the water leak did damage, and "that girl" began asking questions and giving recommendations. Blown away was an understatement. Her dad helped people finish houses for decades and he taught her two older brothers the trade and she obviously listened. Saved me (I hope) a good $500.
> 
> Funny news: As we were going through the stuff of mom's, we ran across something. It was way under the sink, was not WCs, wasn't mom's..... UGs? DCs? I don't know..... it was a bag with five pacifiers and had written in pen on the outside "Baby Jesus" on it. I profile(d) BSC people and it has me WTFing. I made a comment on it and.... it was cute seeing her drink come out her nose.
> 
> Good news: "That girl" wanted to get a good sunrise shot at a place not too far away from a casino. From my winnings last time........ she got $50 for being new visitor, lost it all (I told her it is hard to win on house money), might have put in $10 more, lost it. Whereas I, blew $380 and it was 3AM, we were ready to leave and I wanted to waste my last $20 in the high end room. Asked her to pick out a machine. She is part Irish, said the green one. Four spins..... nada, nada, nada, $600. Then I was ready to GTF outta there. Nothing like those 20 hour dates huh?
> 
> So I had a comp night and a $10 voucher. I jokingly asked her what machine to waste the $10 on. She said go to the $5 machine, the cherry one. Her (sister's daughter) rode up after us and had lost $20 on it. "A damn cherry machine? Seriously?" So... I did a $5 spin.... $900. My last two spins that she recommended, wagering $10, netted $1500. WTF? After that I just wanted to cash out, have a few drinks, eat a pizza, watch Criminal Minds, and thank her for the advice.
> 
> I ended up peaking at around $2800 the next morning. I told her all this is house money. Let's quit now and that is two small trips or one big one for us. I never touched the $ I brought. I did lose around $750 playing the high machines and she did another $250. Still left with about $1700 house money. We are going back this week. When house money is gone, I'm through. Hoping that is not the case. Comp room, nothing to lose. Plus she can now get that sunrise shot if the fog isn't too bad.
> 
> Still uncertain, she reminds me a bit of UG in the beginning. But I am not a clingy person, I value my privacy. But it is only a few months in.... wait 'n see. One thing that was impressive was when she noticed her sister's daughter (24, smoking hot, married, one child) sucking up all the attention and flirting with guys at the casino. After she left, she mentioned she had a talk with her..... -Not wise to seek male attention when you have a good husband at home who is a great father..... Flirt with him, is it not the attention from him you seek?- They're having problems at home.... she just 2x4d her. Maybe she should get an account here?
> 
> Going really nice..... just waiting for the schit tests...... bout that time. Seems like yesterday I was at this moment with DC.... and we all know how that ended. Boundaries up, tested, re-inforced. Same game, different year.
> 
> *If DeMello says..... hit the $100 machine, I'm hesitant. Oh..... DC is engaged. I pray for the guy. And WC asked for a ride to work. Unanswered. Again.... some need repetition...*.


HAHHA or is it lolz on the web? 

We both pray for the guy respectively, (or maybe we don't) but that doesn't change what we look for in a partner. 

Sound's like your current squeeze is a professional 2x4 handler. Something the girl I am dating my age needs to prove over time. (How good she swings the 2x4). 

More important that what she says, how often she acts and talks about it. Showing how important it is.


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## Chuck71

hope4family said:


> HAHHA or is it lolz on the web?
> 
> We both pray for the guy respectively, (or maybe we don't) but that doesn't change what we look for in a partner.
> 
> Sound's like your current squeeze is a professional 2x4 handler. Something the girl I am dating my age needs to prove over time. (How good she swings the 2x4).
> 
> More important that what she says, how often she acts and talks about it. Showing how important it is.


Very true. Received my first schit test. Funny I felt it before it occurred. 

Her response was better than expected. Schit tests are actually fun if you know the outcome going in.

I will update how that went soon. Caught up in the moment currently with family issues,

I use family very loosely. Weird dreams about mom n pop. Some bad, most good.

Also channeled stuff from 30 years ago. Quite depressing but welcomed. 

Wish I knew these things five years prior.








TGG...... No Rod Stewart, promise 8>)


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## farsidejunky

Just a friendly reminder to hold you accountable for that "top 10 dumb things your ex-wife did" list...


----------



## ReturntoZero

Did things work out with the 23 year old Russian hottie?


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## Chuck71

ReturntoZero said:


> Did things work out with the 23 year old Russian hottie?


Sadly............ no it did not. Her family was deported to Anadyr and she was forced to return.

Something about her family trying to set boundaries with the Russian government, so.... they

deported them. Until she raises enough money to have them released, we're in neutral. 

She has to dance on tables near the only airport within 900 miles. She said it's hard to find

high heels and mini skirts in Anadyr. We're keeping in contact though. We facetime after

she gets off work and she tries to dance for me. It's difficult though, her computer is set to

Russian so I can't decipher most of what she says. I didn't know they had so many bananas

in Siberia. Amazed!! I try to wire her money the best I can. I'm hoping to get married before

the year concludes. :grin2:


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## Chuck71

farsidejunky said:


> Just a friendly reminder to hold you accountable for that "top 10 dumb things your ex-wife did" list...


:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

It may have to be a Top 20.


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## Chuck71

Been meaning to update this for awhile. I guess I will go in reverse order. Today is the five year mark of my DDay.  It doesn't seem like five years ago.... more like, 15 maybe. So many things have changed..... but nothing was ever meant to stay the same. 

The few things which have stayed the same is....... still get the "reachies" from her. Doesn't bother me.... actually LMFAO. She is currently out of work (went through three jobs in a year I know of), and since she never changed her password for one of her email accounts...... obviously she is looking for work, her son is looking for work, and some hillbilly she is laid up with.... is too. I can view my light bill through her email two weeks before I get the mailbox bill (which is.... sometimes "lost" by USPS) and it's due in..... three or four days. They will not allow me to open a new email account. Which is fine by me..... until she changes the password and the light people will catch hell. 

I still do.....pity her. In her mind....she thinks she is trying to "re-connect" with me. But her idea of communicating and mine, are vastly different. My birthday is not posted on FB.... I don't get all the happy birthday stuff..... unless people really know me. Those are mostly sent through messenger. First one this year was..... none other! Then -How have u been doing- -I saw your team was on tv last night- -Do you still own the duplexes- Even received a message asking to borrow $. I'll post it at the end. This is how far she has fallen. Her mom is gone (10 years), I bolted (5 years), her brother has distanced himself after learning about all the $ she lifted from him, and her son..... is under investigation for theft.

The guy who was caught with the stolen gun (stole pre-D final) while in process of burglary, did throw him under the bus. I was in on the investigation. I received the gun this week. Shockingly.... the POS took A-1 care of it. My step son will receive time. There is a chance I will recover more...... I warned WC about this awhile back. Just wanted to stir the nest.....

My re-connects with past loves, was just curiosity and mainly a "where are they now" sorta thing. But we all know who the main ones were...... 1st love....still runs, will never stop. She has a great soul and if one of my main ex's ever pulled out of their black hole, I'd want it to be her. 2nd love..... grew up to be just like her mother. We talked often during mom's downfall last year, her being a nurse and skilled at her job. A few months later she mentioned us going on a trip. I was talking about my surgery (cancer) and how they said they were willing to work with me since I have no health coverage. -Nobody will help you. No one cares. Everyone wants what you have- On and on..... That's where we stopped chatting. She is one of, if not the most, negative persons I have EVER spoke with. Just like her mom was when we dated......... Her XH pays CS religiously..... but she lets him see his son, when she feels like it. BTW.... her XH and I are good friends. He envies me..... I was smart enough to never marry or have kids with her. BTW-Never desired a re-capture with either..... j/s.

The message she sent (WC) exposed things which, I strongly figured. I can't deny..... for a short time, she and I had "the time of our lives"...... and I can never forget those. But those faded, dwindled, and eventually....ended. We had a huge castle.... now it is just....dust.

The sociopathic part of me still enjoys hearing of her continual Fups. She so didn't want to be miserable the rest of her life. Her actions.... well.... solidified that. And continues to this very day. She thought "I" made her miserable. Guess her reachies show she wants to be "more miserable" *schiteatinggrin* "I'm sorry you feel that way" and "I see things otherwise" and my personal fav (yes a popism) "Remind me to GaF."

But that's where I am..... five years after. I could run into her.... and see a stranger. Just like if I walked up to a female mod here..... I do not know them. I know who WC was......turned into....and become. Just someone I do not wish to associate with.

Things often end up as you saw it, if you are seeing clearly. The path is usually different but the outcome, the same. Steelers 21..... opponent 0. Nice game, shutout, three TDs..... No.... seven FGs...... Still a win, is a win, just not as pretty. As I told @unbe "Someday I'll be Saturday Night" Go with the flow......assess things periodically..... go with the flow. I will update "that girl" and other things somewhat in reverse order. 

Views on mom n pop.... I think I will post on the grieving / loss section. It's weird how you recall and see things fit in place after they are both gone. Took some time getting used to the fact, not just the idea (I knew beforehand), that I have zero family. In certain ways, it is a bit nice but..... in others.... sort of Fing depressing.


The message...... Hey. I know it's stupid to ask. But. I've been out of work. I've got shingles really bad and some knots on my neck dr is concerned about. I am asking if you have some money I can borrow til end of November. I need to pay some on my rent. If not that's ok. Thanks.


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## Tron

Chuck71 said:


> The message...... Hey. I know it's stupid to ask. But. I've been out of work. I've got shingles really bad and some knots on my neck dr is concerned about. I am asking if you have some money I can borrow til end of November. I need to pay some on my rent. If not that's ok. Thanks.


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## Chuck71

farsidejunky said:


> Just a friendly reminder to hold you accountable for that "top 10 dumb things your ex-wife did" list...


It should be a Top 20 when it's all said n done. Here is a teaser....

"If your going to Chattanooga today, let me know. I sell my plasma today lol"


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## Chuck71

Things have been going quite well with "FQ." FQ is furniture queen. Her side hobby is restoring old furniture. I have always favored antiques so that is a commonality for us. It didn't take her long to realize I enjoy fooling with old cards, mostly baseball. She doesn't know most of the players I mention, being my true passion is cards pre-1981... and she was a late 70s baby.

She is business savvy. That is attractive to me. Prefers a day at the lake or the mountains, hiking, sightseeing to high end places. Not too long after she became an official overnight sleeper.... that means you have your own drawer in the bathroom... 8>) .... she was having a drink and stated -I'm quite low budget but high sex drive- Somewhere pop was smiling....

One thing I have noticed.... when I record something and we are watching it, we end up stopping it often. To.....*gasp* talk. Something in the movie sparks a chat. I taped "Edge of Seventeen" and it was 1hr-45m... I'd guess it took four hours to watch it. Communication is not a problem..... very similar religious views. -You sound too much like my dad.... he thinks prices in 1977 should be the same today- LOL -It's amazing you know of the same players my dad does when he was a kid- Her parents, like mine.... were WW2 babies.

I won't go much into detail but.... her oldest brother is dying of cancer. He is only in his early 50s... hasn't smoked since HS. He served in Desert Storm. Doctors are clueless about his type of cancer. After the war... he was exposed to high levels of uranium.... he says intentionally. He may make it till Thanksgiving..... Christmas is a LONG shot. He mended many fences with FQ. They realized lots of the "fences" were invisible. 

"I'm here if you want to talk" Same as she did with me... about mom's death. She knew my fav dish mom did was salmon patties, mashed taters, g-beans. Went out of her way to make it (1st time) and..... didn't have to ask. That meant a lot to me.... and TBH they were just as good as mom's. 

So far.... so good I guess. Next up are the schit test and her "ancy" ness


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## Tron

Chuck71 said:


> So far.... so good I guess. Next up are the schit test and her "ancy" ness


At least you know it's coming and you're sufficiently prepared. ;-)


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## FeministInPink

Sounds like she might be a keeper 

Sad about her brother... I'm not the praying type, but I'll keep her in my thoughts. That's rough 

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk


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## Chuck71

FQs brother passed away last week. The guy put up a valiant fight. At his death.... I had not met much of her family. For long time readers....let's just say her family is very much like....UGs. Matter of fact... UGs dad and FQs dad know each other....and are related......distantly. Yes I felt quite out of place at the viewing and burial being I only knew a handful of her people. But I was there for her.... no one else. For the first time...I saw what FQ said as 110% true. She has one sister and one brother remaining, and both her parents. While at the viewing...her sister and dad would communicate, as would her sister and brother and sister, brother and dad. FQ and her mother were left out in the cold.

I used to think I kinda had it bad growing up with dysfunction. After dating 1st love, 2nd love, WC, and UG...and now add in FQs family.... Jesus freaking Christ....my parents were pretty damn good. Back in the first of summer I noted FQ reminded me somewhat of UG...... well..... On the good note, FQ doesn't take crap from her siblings or parents. Yes there is quite a bit of drama. FQ admitted early on she was caught up in it until about two-three years back. -My dad has now buried three kids.....if he don't get it now....- Being an only child, I can only speculate about siblings / family dynamics. But if most families are this way, thank God my parents stopped after my crazy ass.

I guess we're completely official, being it's on FB (LOL) and we said the ILYs. I just can't see how immediate family can talk about the others behind their backs. Maybe it was because my parents did not hesitate to tell you how they felt....good, bad, or ugly. FQs dad talks smack about all his kids, to the others and not to mention his wife. Her brother and sister are just as bad.....Her mom seeks out attention any way she can, positive or negative because she is always shut out of activities and discussions. FQ used to have to hear each parent bytching about the other, until she put a stop to it. It's really sad....but she warned me up front.

I'm not saying they are bad people. FQ has the brother and sister previously mentioned all from her mom. The three other kids were from her dad's 1st wife. All three are deceased. One as an infant, one from drug abuse, the last one...the war veteran just deceased. Ironic as it may... his 1st W claimed he was not FQs dad's son. He wasn't... but he raised him as his. FQs mom raised him as hers as well. Actually her mom raised all three of the kids from FQs dad's XW. Traditional family in 1970s and 1980s.... she stayed at home and he worked. -Dad would work, come in, eat, watch TV, go to bed, nothing more- But many dads did that....and paid the price later on.

FQs brother who just passed.... was virtually the same way. Distanced himself from the family, worked all the time after serving, highly successful. Only when he started to go downhill from the return of cancer, did he realize.... how much his family loved him. FQ and her sister would stay with him at night....taking turns. His dad and brother would sometimes. He had his "dad" cleared up a lot of "invisible fences" too. I told FQ I was glad to hear that, being my pop and I didn't get the chance to. But over time....we have. The deceased left behind his wife and son.....17. I saw him those two days (never met previous) and he had so much anger in his eyes.....it triggered me back to when my pop died. I wasn't but six years older. 

On a final note.... I learned that mom's dumb ass sister (yes my ex aunt) has embraced FB and friend'd UG (no surprise), even UGs parents (WTF) and.......and......... Window Cork. Granted....she would friend an alien if it would pay attention to her. On mom's one year ann. of passing, she posted pics of mom, mom would NEVER EVER want posted. WC even told her that in the comments. 

Due to the fact WC still messages me.... out of sheer respect, I would have expected her to let me know that was going on. She didn't. She told her friend who is also the aunt of 1st love. She sent condolences...and gave me a fake name on how she found out. She lied, it was WC....because her contact with me was a few days after the pic was posted. Plus she was no longer friends with the name she gave.

I also learned from creditors (ex aunt would give them mom's # to stay off her wide load ass) ex aunt sold her house. I transferred mom's landline # to here thinking she was coming home to die last year. I knew she moved.... and the fact...none of the family (her side) tried to intercede about mom's things and my things which were stored at ex aunt's basement. Before mom's dementia took over....she mentioned we needed to get those things out of her garage. Then she got worse. It's the items family moved over here last year and moved back out when mom descended into a damn monster (posted last year, August). Being possession is 9/10th of the law.....and probate court was going to be $$$$ and they would not put a 60something person in jail with stage 4 colon cancer. Add the fact she only draws SSI and you can not garnish that.

But the children of mom's two older sisters... who professed they would act as go-betweens....never did, or they did but never told me. I went ahead and blocked all of them (we never messaged anyway) and added WC too. I will not attempt to be vengeful but I will say this...if something "falls in my lap" I will go sociopath. Again....I never start schit, so when you do....to me.....I will try my best to rub it back in your face.

The items were not big $$$. But she never gave me mom's purse, debit card, checkbook, etc. Mom's dumb ass sister wasn't aware, I was on mom's checking account. If she wanted anything of mom's as a keepsake.... 99% chance I would have given it to her. She never asked......she just took. 

BTW-on one of mom's pic that she would not have wanted to go public, ex aunt told WC about protective services coming to the house last year. Nothing more......of course. That's when mom was not allowed to drive (by the state), was in one of those "episodes" and was leaving. I begged her not to, even tried to keep her from leaving. She hit me and bit me. I called the police....they actually passed her but never caught up with her (dumb ass cops). She returned, turned all the lights out, went to bed. Police returned and when mom turned lights on, huge red knot on her forehead (no handprint not knuckle marks). My guess....she hit steering wheel or windshield.

They took her for an evaluation at the hospital and mom told me the Dr. begged her to tell him I hit her. -My son knows better, I'd whip his ass- By law, the Dr. had to follow up by contacting protective services. She came, I was here, I talked to her for 45 minutes and left so she could talk to mom. Heard nothing else out of it. But this was about a week before I told her she had to move back into her retirement community. Like a Hangover Crew friend told me, those who believe what your fvcktard (ex) aunt says, are obviously not considering the source. I have no idea what's been said and don't give a fvck. It's not up to me to tell them it is best to verify said accusations.


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## Chuck71

As FQ and I expected, Christmas was going to be rough for each of us. Last year I was "numb" about mom's death. The FWB I was seeing at that time..... her family became upset I did not wish to spend 12/24 with them. -I told them it was best you did not come after I told you what they said, they would not like what you had to say- She partially understood.... but was a bit upset. I wanted normalcy.... 12/24.... It's a Wonderful Life and for everyone to leave me the F alone. Low times...... low times.

FQ was going through this a year later. No tree..... just go through the motions. About a week before, she started thinking about a tree at my place. We talked, declined. 12/24... we both thought.... WTF not. My mom and her brother would have wanted us to celebrate the holiday, for them and their memory. Small "twig" ... maybe two feet tall. She got small lights n whatnots. Our Charlie Brown Christmas tree. 

On her way up, she stopped by my drug dealer....... The old man with a ball card shop. That's where I get my fix. She did do the packs of cards in the teddy again.... quite nice. She made Cajun shrimp and ?rotell? and it was great.....Set mouth on fire though. Why is it I get all the females who had never seen It's a Wonderful Life? She watched it with me 12/24 Eve. We watched Three Stooges ... she watched it with her brother when she was young. 

Christmas Day was tense. LSS.... we were going to her parent's place. "If it's eerie and weird and you want to leave, say the word. You are under no obligation to stay on my account." As expected and warned from her, outsiders are somewhat shut out of conversation. N/P..... sometimes I'd rather observe. Overall... it went much better for her than expected. Her mom's a semi-talker with a sense of humor.... a bit like my mom was. I saw the dynamics at play FQ mentioned.... as to how her mom is isolated. It's sad.... really is. Seeing this makes me think my parents were not as bad.

Also made me respect FQ quite a bit for pulling away from the dynamics. She's a typical Southern mountain gal who is sweet, sultry, self-aware but can also hit you between the eyes with reality, if needed. She had a diagnosed eye issue as a child but it was not looked into (dad was union man with A+ insurance.... SMFH)...... Anyways..... she finally got an app't. with a neuro-opto-whatevero and it's in Atlanta. She wants me to go.... after the four hour exam she can not drive. And if anyone has ever drove inside I-285.... well.... you know what I'm saying.

I don't mind going for moral support. Then she told me where it was. Same hospital where I had the botched surgery. Then she told me the date..... thirty years to the god damn day. Feb. 15. -You don't have to go if it's gonna bother you. I can get a relative to go- For a split second I almost entertained that thought. But.... I very often tell others to face their fears, most fears are fear itself. "Your fat ass is meant to go. Go I will. Dunno how I will re-act." The Dr. has long since gone.......he is still alive, I keep track of him. I don't know why but this was presented to me for a reason. It will be revealed in time...... always is. 

Likes my clothesline in back yard, mini-garden, has a thing for antique Hoosier cabinets, enjoys black / white classic movies, wants to help with gazebo in back yard....... almost a year in..... "we'll see" .....


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## TheGoodGuy

She sounds like a keeper to me Chucky. Mountain gal, baseball cards, teddy, spicy food, b/w movies.. you deserve the good things in your life brother.


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## FeministInPink

TheGoodGuy said:


> She sounds like a keeper to me Chucky. Mountain gal, baseball cards, teddy, spicy food, b/w movies.. you deserve the good things in your life brother.


I agree!

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk


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## Chuck71

TheGoodGuy said:


> She sounds like a keeper to me Chucky. Mountain gal, baseball cards, teddy, spicy food, b/w movies.. you deserve the good things in your life brother.


Thanks my western neighbor. I saw a lot of UG in her at first. Especially the first three-four months. Guard was ultra high. Her reaction to me quelling her schit tests told a lot. Maybe their age and family dynamic similarities caught my attention.

The last four-five months I've seen a difference. Much growth she has made, very quick to address her previous faults. Seeks out my advice but never tries to put me in a KISA role. Maybe she knows... I'd know better.

Like anyone.... married before, at our age, we're a bit guarded. Best to be that way..... enjoy the growth more slowly. Usually bandages start coming off around a year-18 months.... so it's not serious yet. Semi-serious.... well yeah.

Both have three main rules.......
No cheating
No abuse in any way
Want kids

Violation of any.... game, set, match

On a lighter note.... luck bounced my way recently as I claimed a 1965 Mickey Mantle for $120 simply because it was "off-centered" ..... 95% were then to a certain degree. Card lists @ $600 and "beat to death" cards even bring $150. Sharp corners, just bad centering. 1965 set complete. I swear I heard -'od damn you scored- from pop. His Southern slang led him to the 'od damn.

Course I told him some 25 years ago 'I wouldn't have to buy all these cards if you would have kept the ones you had.' -We all tacked them to our walls and used them as bicycle spoke noise makers...... how in the hell did we know?.....And WTF makes you think I'd be giving them all....to you ass hole?- Classic pop.....


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## Chuck71

farsidejunky said:


> Just a friendly reminder to hold you accountable for that "top 10 dumb things your ex-wife did" list...


In no certain order FSJ.......

-We need to run by the store, my damn hairdryer has quit on me- "I'm not an electrician but plugging it into the outlet may help" -Ass hole- *smiled* 

"Thought you said you had to poo" -I did but I want to see if xxxx and xxxx got that new car she was talking about- She almost made it....she pooped in her blue jeans in the driveway, leaning up against the trash bin. "You gonna put them in the dirty clothes" -Ass hole- *laughing*

(While M) -xxxx can turn into a complete bytch. I get so tired of listening to her crap- "xxxx just came in. She is in the den" *LMFAO*

(After D) -I will be in town to see my son. Would you want to get together for dinner- "I'm going through a 1967 Topps set" -Oh....ok- She always said I put cards before her..... *eyeroll*

-Aren't you glad you met me, If you hadn't met me, you'd have enough money to choke a horse- *i****younot*

(WC could sound like me on the phone at times) -I just called your mom and acted like I was you. Your mom said my cold slaw was runny and that I had gained a lot of weight- "What you get for trying to play a joke. You ain't dragging my ass into that" *hugeasseyeroll*

-Just take the test for me- "You have to give them your ID card as proof of who you are" -They never look, we have the same last name- *rotflmfaco* "And they would never notice I have short hair, a beard, and no breasts" Same university I received my masters from and was currently lecturing at....and was a Christian univ. *quadruplefacepalm*

(After telling her she has an animal attachment disorder in......2016) -You're crazy. I only replaced Molly with another dog when she died. I only have one of her puppies. I wanted to keep the other two but I had to give them away- "So you have only two dogs now" -No....I have Ray Ray's two dogs, his hamsters, and a stray dog I found- "You live in a studio apartment that only allows two pets right" -I hide them well- Almost asked if he gave her his pig....I'd have a great name for him..... *lmao* 

(WC met a guy on POF after returning to TN)....-I love to cook, I'm super clean, have a wonderful son who is an over-achiever, am financially secure, I am a very active person- Ok.... a friend had a catfish on POF seeing if his g/f was still talking to guys..... and WC messages him......yes a Hangover Crew friend. "She can cook, clean LOL, her son is now in jail, financial secure OMFG/LMFAO....I still....still.... get her damn mail and due bills (son's too....along with her three brothers) and after three years of hassle with post office, I just throw them in fire pit, define active with someone who has feet like canoes from swelling (not eating right/diabetes), and has an ass that could be a twin-screen drive-in" She said we D because I cheated on her....110% lie. I almost had him drag it out but thought the laughs were good enough. Nearly wanted to get him to ask if she cheated too..... she'd have lied and truth is.... doesn't matter. I walked because she gave up.


"So how are things going now that you're back" -They're going great- Asks me for $, car ride to donate plasma, had a guy laying up with her (help out but he can't get job due to record), her son at one time until he went to jail...... Studio apt. 600 sq. ft.... three people, 4-5 dogs, hamsters, and for all I know three dragons and twelve Keebler elves.... *karmasmile* As Conrad used to say.... How's that working out for you.....


----------



## Chuck71

ReturntoZero said:


> Did things work out with the 23 year old Russian hottie?


We eventually had to part ways. *sadface* But she decided to stay in Russia and acclimate herself to the culture. She says she cries herself to sleep every night missing me. She still asks me to send money. She keeps me posted with pics and how she is struggling in the cold, brutal climate.


----------



## Chuck71

Seems like I saw it coming.... a mile away. It's overall a good thing to know it's coming but.... *sigh* 

It started right after NYD. I brushed it off as just a bad day for her and her brother's passing. But I kept it in me noggin'. Several times I sensed a schit test, passed with no problem. Winter is tough on her business and cash does run low for her. She announced she was coming up to my place the next evening or the following morning, as I left her place. That day came, next day did. We were still chatting like usual.... but she never came. I never asked her why, if she wanted to come, she would have. If it would have put her in a pinch, she knew to let me know. So... it was coming..... and I felt it.

The next to last time I was at her place, things didn't seem right. FQ was telling me about her family dysfunction and was starting to shut down. I posed several questions pertaining to it and she became really defensive. And.... the last visit. She admitted she really needs to work on herself, her anger with her parents, her siblings. -What are you going to do when I anger dump on you- "I'll shut it down pronto.... try me" -I'm afraid I will run to you to avoid dealing with these things. And I can be very manipulative... I learned from the best (meaning her mom)- I laughed.... "You severely over-estimated your abilities" Blah blah blah..... -You're not making this easy on me- Wide smile..... "You're gonna have to say it" FQ beat around the bush and I just told her, my time here is done. Boo hoos.... kept straight face, even smiled.

As I drove home, she got in two parting shots on messenger (WITF do women always do this?). They were quite nice. I got home, had me a stiff drink, didn't need a trip to the lake, went ahead and changed relations status and de friended her. Of course I get a message next morning -I didn't think you would delete me as a friend- LOL.... She's 39, let her figure it out. It's kind of what you do when you call it quits....

All in all.... it was a "smooth" break up, if you can call one that. She didn't drag it out, was very blunt with me. She has my respect. She never tried to place me in the Mr. Fixer / KISA role. I agreed when she stated his death really brought back bad things, and from talking to him at night when he was scared to go to sleep.... other things. It's really a sad situation she is in. -I don't know what I would have done if you weren't there with me through all this- "You helped me out with mom's stuff and sharing her death and downfall comments.... we're even there." FQ is a broken person.... way beyond damaged.... 

I'll offer support when someone tries to overcome their issues. But I will not try to fix you.... I wouldn't even if I could..... that's always just temporary. You have to fix yourself. I really hope she does but if I was a betting man.... my $ is no. Shame.... she has a great deal to offer. Eyos... Chucky.... yousa someatimes do a's Round II.... so?

Not this time. It's actually strike three. FQ was the one I posted about.... that thought I had a fake pic up from late 2014..... because within a month I had dropped 40+ pounds. I called her on it, "take care." Couple weeks later, we did meet. Went out twice, she called it. No harm, no foul.... "take care." Then she turned creeper about a month later, messaging me. She's the one I made do the song n dance BS while I was still seeing other people. We did meet, had one of those 15 hour dates..... But no... this is the third time. Pulling back after nearly a year..... nada. Two dates.... I can accept that.

Two senses of irony here...... we called it on the 1st.... five years to the day my D was final. And last weekend I made a short trip with one of the Hangover Crew guys... he just got into the band Rush. There was a single off of Signals (1981) called "Losing It." Heard it differently this time than before...... premonition? 






Back to the drawing board......again.....

BTW.... She's late. Act accordingly......


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## EyesWideOpen101

At first I was not going to respond on here at all...to all of you I am "this girl", "that girl" and "FQ" not sure if I missed a character lol.... as I was not aware that during the almost year of dating Chuck 71 I had no idea that my life were on display here. I knew that he used this site often to give advice etc.... but was never informed that my most vulnerable details were wrote about. I didn't even know his screen name and told him when we were together that I knew this was his personal space and trusted him completely. He had shared that he posted about his divorce originally but I never probed into it.... I'll have to fast forward a little to cover why I am here..... since everyone here is aware that my brother passed away of cancer ( did not want that disclosed to an audience as this was a raw moment shared with a man I was in a relationship with and for him only) almost 2 months ago I have went into a deep depression questioning everything in my life..... since chuck 71 and I started dating it has been a rocky road his mom passed right before we got together and my mom had two surgeries and my brothers cancer.... I felt like I had dragged him through enough especially until I go through grief counseling bc I'm angry and have nothing to give myself at this point let alone anyone else I choose as hard as it was to end things between us.... am I right in that nothing seems right to me now.... maybe I can answer that later. Maybe it's the right thing or maybe it's not but it seemed right in the moment.... other factors were there but I'll leave that out as I'm not here for revenge or pity! I struggled with the decision I made two days ago but I ultimately knew I needed to take time to heal before I was going to be good for anyone. So knowing a few things that he shared on here I typed in a name I thought he would use and somehow it linked it to him... I assume he has mentioned that name before either way that's how I found it.... I didn't even start at the beginning I went to the last page bc even then I didn't want to go into that personal space that belonged to him. I was hoping to not find myself here at all..... unfortunately I did and I personally messaged him confused and asking him about it.... I was upset initially and we chatted back and forth and he asked me if I read the other ones I said no.... as in doing me a favor he urged me to do so bc I was only picking out the negative parts.... at first I wasn't going to and I told him that but then I did..... only to see that the most vulnerable parts of me were there about not only my brother who passed but also my husband that also passed. Events that changed the course of my life forever and I felt safe to communicate with Chuck 71 and I thought to him alone. I was so WRONG! I know I hurt him the other day but let's say that didn't happen and we were still together if I had known the things that were put out here without my knowledge I would have left long before. Bc that is betrayal at its finest in my book. I was shocked and mortified at all the details not of our relationship but of my personal life and family. I get no one knows me here but it was reliving it again in the most horrible way. Talk about pouring salt in the wounds and rubbing it in is an understatement! even when we parted ways it wasn't terrible but I know it was very hurtful to him and myself..... I've asked him to take my brother out of here and my family as a favor a few hours ago.... I'm not sure how this site works and I don't know how long that would take.... but since it is still up and since I have a few characters here I thought I would set things straight. I'm a very private person as I know Chuck 71 is as well I would never have put his story out anywhere not even now bc it's not mine to tell. He's a very talented writer but in this case quite a few non truths were also added.... I'm not going to get into those as I know the truth and am not seeking validation here..... I will not name call even though I'm so hurt and outraged to have been done this way.... not just the end but all the way through my personal stuff he wrote about. From the very beginning. I'm not saying I smell like roses or that I've not made mistakes in our relationship bc I'm quite sure I have. I also know that Chuck 71 is pretty savvy with words and has walls up to actually put or look for "schit" test I on the other hand took four years after the separation from my late husband to work on myself as to not take that baggage to the next relationship.... I did the hard work faced the trauma and was healed from it. I will also do the same now after the death of my brother and be stronger than before. And now I have to deal with this betrayal on top of the grief but I'm a strong woman and will come out even better because I will face and not run. Btw my name is not this girl, that girl or FQ my name is Christy I have nothing to hide I believe in transparency and truth. I will deal with this and not dump it on the next person I come to know bc not everyone is out to hurt or get you. I wish you well Chuck 71 I hope you heal and not wait for traps or schit test in the future. Was I wrong for checking it out today well that could be different for everyone else who reads this..... as for myself no bc any doubt that I had about the decision I made the other day is no more... I felt so bad for hurting you and still do.... what you did I have not the adequate words for but I'm sure glad I know now! Now time to heal some here ....some may agree or disagree that will not matter as we all have opinions and that's what makes the world go round. But now I know the truth of it all.... Btw the last post was the only one since we parted ways all others were when we were together... it didn't have to be this way we even talked about leaving the friendship door open but any chance of that is now gone. I have no trust in you. Even comparing me to other women before me wow is all I have to say. Why didn't you talk to me about your feelings instead of pouring it here? I was there and that door was open. I was right in front of you ....what I had to say to you or about us I did so with you... Sincerely Christy


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## Blondilocks

This situation is so sad. My heart goes out to both of you.

Please forgive my intrusion, Chuck.


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## Tron

Hi Christy,

I am terribly sorry you are having such a rough time with your brother's death. 

Chuck is a good dude. There's never been any malice in sharing his thoughts on here, even as they relate to you. And I've never got the feeling, by posting here, that Chuck was looking for sympathy or attaboys from the folks here. He's had a bit of a rough time over the last 5 years too, and if it helps him deal by sharing here, then what is really wrong with that? This place can be very therapeutic and it's free.

And the beauty of anonymity is that as a general rule no one here knows who you are, will ever meet you or frankly will remember the stupid fight you had on such and such date, etc. We are not in the least bit concerned about your bad divorce 5 years ago, except maybe as it relates to how it is impacting your relationships now.

You're not the first SO that has cared to look at threads and come away feeling 'betrayed' by something or other that was said here. Those feelings will pass quickly especially if you can get past yourself to focus on what your boyfriend is actually try to convey about what he is feeling, what he wants or what he is willing to do to get it.

As for truth and lies...we all have our own truth and perspective. If you are solely focused on yours, then good luck to you; I wish you great success in finding that perfect soul mate who sees things exactly the same as you.

As far as coming here posting on his thread, YOU BROKE UP WITH HIM. Why do you care now? He is under no obligation to remain friends with you. If he loved you as he said he did, then he needs to grieve the loss of the relationship. How he does that is up to him...not you. Why chicks want to 'remain friends' after they break up with you is beyond me. Does it make you feel less guilty? Because the easiest way to get over someone is to put them in the rear view mirror and then lose the mirror.

Now, if you think you've made a mistake, or you think Chuck could be a good fit for you, but you can't seem to get out of your own head to find your way there, then maybe we should talk some more.


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## farsidejunky

What is it you would like TAM to do for you, Christy?

Is it just to be heard?


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## EyesWideOpen101

lol I can't help but think that you and Thor are but more personas of him yes I'm saying all are the same person. Just a feeling.... I'm usually right about these things 😊 I know him " or them " a little better than that


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## farsidejunky

EyesWideOpen101 said:


> lol I can't help but think that you and Thor are but more personas of him yes I'm saying all are the same person. Just a feeling.... I'm usually right about these things  I know him " or them " a little better than that


Your paranoia is rather interesting.

Considering I am a Moderator on this site, I would have to ban them...and myself...as sock puppets are not allowed. 

When people latch on to irrational assumptions, even the most compelling evidence will be ignored. 

Please let me know if you have any interest in rational dialogue.


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## EyesWideOpen101

I should have never come here and I am sorry that I did. No excuses for it not even finding what I did it ultimately was a violation of privacy ...... we cannot change what we have done only learn and move forward.... good luck everyone!


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## farsidejunky

EyesWideOpen101 said:


> I should have never come here and I am sorry that I did. No excuses for it not even finding what I did it ultimately was a violation of privacy ...... we cannot change what we have done only learn and move forward.... good luck everyone!


Actually, I would like to see you stay. 

A lot of amazing people were incredibly helpful for me when I first came here. It could be that for you as well.


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## Chuck71

farsidejunky said:


> IIRC, that was just after the McGwire Olympic printing, when upper deck was coming in, and the Murphy reverse bat on upper decks first run, correct? Topps with their cheesy woodgrain borders?
> 
> Guess who else had a ton of cards from that time... LOL


Speaking of cards.....

Wanted to touch on something I noticed recently. I stopped fooling with baseball cards in 1996. When I started back with my addiction... I decided to not re-collect anything after 1996 but a Topps hand made set and Topps factory set. I purchased quite a few boxes of '96 Topps and made sets and subsets. I already have the two types of sets from Topps so... all the sets were sold. The subsets.... this is why I decided to build these from boxes. Many still want full book value for subsets in the market, being they're hard to build.

Any extra subsets and Mantle cards are sold. So I pretty much obtained the subsets needed and sold the rest. Made nice little profit too. The time involved, doesn't matter. It's something I enjoy. I noticed Series 2 shined a spotlight upon Tony Gwynn and Kirby Puckett. It is still... hard to believe each one has passed on. IMHO.... Gwynn in his day, was the best pure hitter since Teddy Ballgame. Puckett was a superstar but I don't think he knew it. Playing for my fav team... two World Series, '91 doing it against my second fav team. Hearing his HR in Game 6 in the movie theater will stay with me until I die.

It's weird how time just, marches on. You don't hear much about the two players anymore unless it's a comparison with a current player or a show does a reflection. I saw Gwynn play many a game in Atlanta. Never got to see Pucket... World Series tickets were WAY out of my price range at age 19.

Today I am busting a couple boxes of 1987 Topps. I swear those gum stains on the back of the last cards are putrid. Homemade chili is being served up with several friends coming. Sort of a Super Bowl tradition. But I may do some of the cards during the game. I haven't busted '87s since... well, thirty years ago. Those were great days.... mom was here, pop was, even grandma. I would bust packs and sort them while I watched a West Coast baseball game during the summer.

Many coming of age moments that summer. I touched on many in my previous thread. Some parts I added to my three book trilogy. The lead guy was Mike Thomas. In some ways.... Mike Thomas was me. In most cases though... is not. What is and isn't is up to the reader to decide, not the author. Thomas was posted about quite a few times on my previous thread and others. One thread, he had a daughter the same age as the early female character, Angie. She actually resided in the same state and had a b/f a year older... a couple states away (just like MT). Amazing parallels....the OP was fine with me pointing those out.

One other thing I miss is I had full use of my right arm and right leg, right eye vision and no indention on the left side of my head from the god damn botched surgery. I still get pissed off to this day about it, but nothing like decades ago. Uncontrolled rage vs. controlled rage..... there is a vast difference. A friend taught me the difference. He was a very wise old man. I miss him.

I was looking forward to the trip to Atlanta, 30 years to the day. There was a reason for this..... but I'd have to go, to find out. I may still go.... I can stay with a former Braves farmhand who did have a cup-a-coffee with the Braves. I was (still am) a sports reporter and that is how we met.


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## farsidejunky

1987 baseball? The awful wood grain?

Love it!


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## Chuck71

Almost through two boxes and STILL need 5 cards from the last set. I hope I missed a few names. Thanks to Topps.... they have a certain pattern of cards in the pack...


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## EyesWideOpen101

I appreciate that.... but this is his space and I have invaded enough.... may I ask how to delete my account? I went into settings and didn't see it. Thank you!


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## Tron

EyesWideOpen101 said:


> I appreciate that.... but this is his space and I have invaded enough.... may I ask how to delete my account? I went into settings and didn't see it. Thank you!


Pfffft. This thread may be 'his' space, but this site certainly is not.

There've been a number of couples post here. Sometimes they posted for the same reasons, sometimes different.

Join us. Where might you need some help with things?


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## EyesWideOpen101

I sent a message did it not show up?


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## EyesWideOpen101

Could well talk about about this between just us.... plz


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## EyesWideOpen101

I was asking chuck 71 to talk personally about all of this


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## Chuck71

EyesWideOpen101 said:


> At first I was not going to respond on here at all...to all of you I am "this girl", "that girl" and "FQ" not sure if I missed a character lol.... as I was not aware that during the almost year of dating Chuck 71 I had no idea that my life were on display here. I knew that he used this site often to give advice etc.... but was never informed that my most vulnerable details were wrote about. I didn't even know his screen name and told him when we were together that I knew this was his personal space and trusted him completely. He had shared that he posted about his divorce originally but I never probed into it.... I'll have to fast forward a little to cover why I am here..... since everyone here is aware that my brother passed away of cancer ( did not want that disclosed to an audience as this was a raw moment shared with a man I was in a relationship with and for him only) almost 2 months ago I have went into a deep depression questioning everything in my life..... since chuck 71 and I started dating it has been a rocky road his mom passed right before we got together and my mom had two surgeries and my brothers cancer.... I felt like I had dragged him through enough especially until I go through grief counseling bc I'm angry and have nothing to give myself at this point let alone anyone else I choose as hard as it was to end things between us.... am I right in that nothing seems right to me now.... maybe I can answer that later. Maybe it's the right thing or maybe it's not but it seemed right in the moment.... other factors were there but I'll leave that out as I'm not here for revenge or pity! I struggled with the decision I made two days ago but I ultimately knew I needed to take time to heal before I was going to be good for anyone. So knowing a few things that he shared on here I typed in a name I thought he would use and somehow it linked it to him... I assume he has mentioned that name before either way that's how I found it.... I didn't even start at the beginning I went to the last page bc even then I didn't want to go into that personal space that belonged to him. I was hoping to not find myself here at all..... unfortunately I did and I personally messaged him confused and asking him about it.... I was upset initially and we chatted back and forth and he asked me if I read the other ones I said no.... as in doing me a favor he urged me to do so bc I was only picking out the negative parts.... at first I wasn't going to and I told him that but then I did..... only to see that the most vulnerable parts of me were there about not only my brother who passed but also my husband that also passed. Events that changed the course of my life forever and I felt safe to communicate with Chuck 71 and I thought to him alone. I was so WRONG! I know I hurt him the other day but let's say that didn't happen and we were still together if I had known the things that were put out here without my knowledge I would have left long before. Bc that is betrayal at its finest in my book. I was shocked and mortified at all the details not of our relationship but of my personal life and family. I get no one knows me here but it was reliving it again in the most horrible way. Talk about pouring salt in the wounds and rubbing it in is an understatement! even when we parted ways it wasn't terrible but I know it was very hurtful to him and myself..... I've asked him to take my brother out of here and my family as a favor a few hours ago.... I'm not sure how this site works and I don't know how long that would take.... but since it is still up and since I have a few characters here I thought I would set things straight. I'm a very private person as I know Chuck 71 is as well I would never have put his story out anywhere not even now bc it's not mine to tell. He's a very talented writer but in this case quite a few non truths were also added.... I'm not going to get into those as I know the truth and am not seeking validation here..... I will not name call even though I'm so hurt and outraged to have been done this way.... not just the end but all the way through my personal stuff he wrote about. From the very beginning. I'm not saying I smell like roses or that I've not made mistakes in our relationship bc I'm quite sure I have. I also know that Chuck 71 is pretty savvy with words and has walls up to actually put or look for "schit" test I on the other hand took four years after the separation from my late husband to work on myself as to not take that baggage to the next relationship.... I did the hard work faced the trauma and was healed from it. I will also do the same now after the death of my brother and be stronger than before. And now I have to deal with this betrayal on top of the grief but I'm a strong woman and will come out even better because I will face and not run. Btw my name is not this girl, that girl or FQ my name is Christy I have nothing to hide I believe in transparency and truth. I will deal with this and not dump it on the next person I come to know bc not everyone is out to hurt or get you. I wish you well Chuck 71 I hope you heal and not wait for traps or schit test in the future. Was I wrong for checking it out today well that could be different for everyone else who reads this..... as for myself no bc any doubt that I had about the decision I made the other day is no more... I felt so bad for hurting you and still do.... what you did I have not the adequate words for but I'm sure glad I know now! Now time to heal some here ....some may agree or disagree that will not matter as we all have opinions and that's what makes the world go round. But now I know the truth of it all.... Btw the last post was the only one since we parted ways all others were when we were together... it didn't have to be this way we even talked about leaving the friendship door open but any chance of that is now gone. I have no trust in you. Even comparing me to other women before me wow is all I have to say. Why didn't you talk to me about your feelings instead of pouring it here? I was there and that door was open. I was right in front of you ....what I had to say to you or about us I did so with you... Sincerely Christy


http://talkaboutmarriage.com/dealing-grief-loss/410721-family-loss.html
@Tron @farsidejunky @Blondilocks @Satya


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## Blondilocks

@Chuck71, hope you're doing well.


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## Chuck71

Thanks for asking! The trip to Emory was not as bad as I had anticipated. No real triggers.... I'd guess if it was my appointment, things would have been different. Oddly I reflected often on probably how mom n pop took it. Being I am the age they were then. I am unable to attempt to try and "know" how they felt, being I do not have a child. The closest I guess was when ex step-son got his heart broken by a girl in HS. They were "dating" and without notice, she was seeing another guy and then, when he saw it and confronted her....she told him the other guy was taller, cuter, had more money, etc... you name it. He told me that night and I think, I hurt as much as he did. But with my parents.... the hardest part had to have been realizing the fact their only child may never be able to live independently. Things of course worked out differently but at that moment, no one knew.

The dog I spoke on several times in Crossroads II, Boner, come down with something. FQ was first to notice it. In all the years (11) he has been here, he'd never been to a vet, except when WC/XW took him to be fixed thinking he was a she.... still SMFH. Boner was often bullied by the large dogs.... but after the D, I had given him away to a friend who lived in the mountains. I wanted to scale back the dogs XW collected after the D to just my xBiL's dog and Ty. As I mentioned... Boner was sitting in the yard a few days later, trekking back 17 miles. The guy I had given him and two others to, didn't know where I lived. So.... I had three, not two. XBiLs died in 2014, Ty in 2015. So Boner had the run of the yard. Not long though......

The stray white dog, now named Bambi, started coming around that year. It took awhile but I noticed Boner wouldn't eat all his dog food. Then she would come and eat the rest. I guess I recognized them as a couple LOL... later that year. So my dog has been in a longer relationship, than me.... *eyeroll* Three years later.... they're like 19 and 20. See one, other ain't far behind. I knew something wasn't right when he wasn't moving much at all and there she was, right by his side. Through all the years, I have never got to pet her... neither has FQ or any other female. I thought some guy had did a number on her when she was young, obviously it was much worse.... not even letting a female touch her. Sad... I was raised that it takes a bigger man to help someone you can defeat easily (yet for no reason) than to defeat him, for no gain whatsoever. I hold that for humans too...Big reason why teaching special education is the school system years ago came easy.

Boner has the beginning stages of heart failure. Vet gave meds, popped him with steroids and he is quite the active turd today. Vet even said no need bringing him in for visit, just call me. Nothing like country vets! When I placed Boner in the truck bed.... I realized, last time he was there was when I took him to be adopted..... he may trigger LOL ... So I rode in the bed too....Bambi chased us a couple miles. Never saw her chase a car in the three years I've known her. Boner's pills are placed in pizza pockets... lucky sh!t. When I was in my doctoral process there were several classes that were independent study / electives. I had no care for learning the mating habits of tree frogs in Zimbabwe. I chose dogs and livestock. Never will forget the morning I came in.... there they come from the garage.... she was licking the sleep out of his eyes. I'm sorry but that's love LOL...... "I'm feeding you and you have a better life than me you @$%^$"

I waited to post, hoping sandcastle's posts and some of EWOs would be cleaned up. I would like for all of sand's deleted minus where a mod had to correct him / her. That's really a mod's choice. But EWOs first few, let em stay. Yeah I promised no drama on my thread, oh well. It is not up to me to attempt to convince someone of a sarcastic post, from six months ago. If they can not figure it out, not my problem. I've kept putting off making a thread in Dealing with Grief.... for over a year. Maybe I didn't know where to start.... being I posted a lot about it on my other main threads. I may post on EWOs thread as well, she did...... post on mine LOL. To be honest, I don't think she would care. The only tough part is, we know much more than the posters do... but it is not our place to "bring those up" unless they do first. That's just Gdamn respect. Had I knew she would end up here, many things I mentioned would not have been. Whoodathunkit?

As for me and EWO / FQ .... I still think FQ is a much better moniker (hint) ... we are dating / together. Same as I said then.... she wanted me to break it off, I refused. Made her, even though I knew she didn't want to. We talked later, as we should have then, even though we kinda did. Guess that's why relationships aren't touched on much in science and math....

Thinking about doing a 1994 Stadium Club run.... two boxes of Series 1, 2, and 3, the team set box, and Draft Picks. Wasn't able to then.... I was in college and the prices then.... 4-5x as high. But as I said.... opening boxes to me is like a coke or meth rush.... and I have something to show for it a few days later. And it takes me back just as good as an Eagles Greatest Hits CD with a fifth of JD. My liver thanks me. Well maybe not "that" good.


Edit....... Sand's post were deleted..... THANK YOU


----------



## Red Sonja

So you are also a wayward-dog magnet ... me too, they always find me. It's like they know I can't resist or maybe they can smell that my own dogs eat well.  I usually end up keeping them until I find the right peeps/home for them. Anyone who beats on a dog is an ******* in my book.

Ah, the Eagles ... nothing compares to them, although Pink Floyd holds the same place in my heart.

The sandcastle cleanup was long overdue ... just sayin'.


----------



## Chuck71

Red Sonja said:


> So you are also a wayward-dog magnet ... me too, they always find me. It's like they know I can't resist or maybe they can smell that my own dogs eat well.  I usually end up keeping them until I find the right peeps/home for them. Anyone who beats on a dog is an ******* in my book.
> 
> Ah, the Eagles ... nothing compares to them, although Pink Floyd holds the same place in my heart.
> 
> The sandcastle cleanup was long overdue ... just sayin'.


I really wish I got to see Pink Floyd.... yes with Waters. But I was too young at that time. Did get to see Eagles in 2014... nice Walsh was there but I'm guessing their concerts were more "lively" 35 years prior. Had a huge pop trigger that night.... a good one though.

Mom's parents had a farm so I grew up around animals. I have a weakness about seeing a human or animal (no...frogs, piss ants, rats, etc. don't apply) starve. I'll feed them but unlike the XW, I didn't want to keep them. Living in the country and a few miles from the mountains, strays are common.


----------



## Chuck71

Took a short bye-bye spell....... Little update.

If anyone recalls I had trouble getting WC to sign the quick claim to get her off of my deed after D. I was going to drag her to court but within a couple months of the final, she gathered up her ass and moved three states away to lay up with a guy on disability. Didn't know where exactly she lived so I just waited. My lawyer informed me I had the needed papers in place that, had I passed, she would not be able to obtain it. When her "beau" passed away, she returned home. Made the reaches, etc. I was hoping she would have signed the paperwork, still sitting in my office, and she said so. Never did. No shock. I re-checked with the lawyer to make sure no signature was still enough (it was enough when I sold my duplex and her name was on the deed there too).

I blocked WC last year after my latest update about borrowing money. I still LMFAO about her actions, very entertaining. Yet I knew if FQ and I were getting semi-serious, she probably wouldn't like for me to still be in contact with my XW. Makes sense. Well....I got a message from her one brother I think anything of.

Chuck, WC needs you to message her at xxx-xxx-xxxx cause they are going up on her payment, cause judge said she was still a home owner and no divorce papers mean anything. I would message her when you get the chance. Thanks!


I informed FQ ahead of anything. I'm like her, I don't like surprises. WC is in need of me because she has applied for public housing and when they ran her background, they found the deed. The one thing she refused to sign, she now is begging me to help her out. I informed her the paperwork will be at my lawyer's office Tuesday morning for her to sign (where made out in 2014). Gave her address and their hours. -I didn't know you had a lawyer- Unanswered, why? 

We don't have to meet for any reason. Due to work, FQ will drop them off and after signed with notary present, I will wait for WC to sign first, I will relay them to the Reg. of Deeds and FINALLY....after nearly six years, it is completely done.

Thought about asking her to pay the $100 I did in 2014 to have them drawn up, being she wants it so bad. Or....... "I'd pay" if she would renounce her last name. Be nice but..... I'm just glad to have this final chapter closed, five years after every damn thing else. 

But as a friend told me "I see things are going about as expected for her." Pretty much correct.

After this is completed, she will be re-blocked. A celebration will be at hand, planned several years back. I will still get a few laughs but 2nd hand......I'm certain the Hangover Crew will drop a line if they see something.


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> Took a short bye-bye spell....... Little update.
> 
> If anyone recalls I had trouble getting WC to sign the quick claim to get her off of my deed after D. I was going to drag her to court but within a couple months of the final, she gathered up her ass and moved three states away to lay up with a guy on disability. Didn't know where exactly she lived so I just waited. My lawyer informed me I had the needed papers in place that, had I passed, she would not be able to obtain it. When her "beau" passed away, she returned home. Made the reaches, etc. I was hoping she would have signed the paperwork, still sitting in my office, and she said so. Never did. No shock. I re-checked with the lawyer to make sure no signature was still enough (it was enough when I sold my duplex and her name was on the deed there too).
> 
> I blocked WC last year after my latest update about borrowing money. I still LMFAO about her actions, very entertaining. Yet I knew if FQ and I were getting semi-serious, she probably wouldn't like for me to still be in contact with my XW. Makes sense. Well....I got a message from her one brother I think anything of.
> 
> Chuck, WC needs you to message her at xxx-xxx-xxxx cause they are going up on her payment, cause judge said she was still a home owner and no divorce papers mean anything. I would message her when you get the chance. Thanks!
> 
> 
> I informed FQ ahead of anything. I'm like her, I don't like surprises. WC is in need of me because she has applied for public housing and when they ran her background, they found the deed. The one thing she refused to sign, she now is begging me to help her out. I informed her the paperwork will be at my lawyer's office Tuesday morning for her to sign (where made out in 2014). Gave her address and their hours. -I didn't know you had a lawyer- Unanswered, why?
> 
> We don't have to meet for any reason. Due to work, FQ will drop them off and after signed with notary present, I will wait for WC to sign first, I will relay them to the Reg. of Deeds and FINALLY....after nearly six years, it is completely done.
> 
> Thought about asking her to pay the $100 I did in 2014 to have them drawn up, being she wants it so bad. Or....... "I'd pay" if she would renounce her last name. Be nice but..... I'm just glad to have this final chapter closed, five years after every damn thing else.
> 
> But as a friend told me "I see things are going about as expected for her." Pretty much correct.
> 
> After this is completed, she will be re-blocked. A celebration will be at hand, planned several years back. I will still get a few laughs but 2nd hand......I'm certain the Hangover Crew will drop a line if they see something.


In the ironic twist of things in my mess according to my lawyer team crazy is technically able to get the fiasco opened up again because I didn't pursue her harder to get the monies owed and fulfill all the obligations of the final decree. I thought time would work in my favor instead it's going to bite me.


----------



## just got it 55

@honcho and @Chuck71

are your XW's trying to reinvent the Drama Triangle ?

If any one can I think they could

55


----------



## Chuck71

just got it 55 said:


> @honcho and @Chuck71
> 
> are your XW's trying to reinvent the Drama Triangle ?
> 
> If any one can I think they could
> 
> 55


They all try to stay relevant in the people's life even though they couldn't run fast enough away after DDay.

But the BSC XWs seem to wonder back home like bird dogs. Funny how that works.

Imagine if Honcho and me had kids with our lunatics......*cringe*

Honcho.... how bad was TBs siblings? Don't think you went into detail about them or I may have forgot.


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> They all try to stay relevant in the people's life even though they couldn't run fast enough away after DDay.
> 
> But the BSC XWs seem to wonder back home like bird dogs. Funny how that works.
> 
> Imagine if Honcho and me had kids with our lunatics......*cringe*
> 
> Honcho.... how bad was TBs siblings? Don't think you went into detail about them or I may have forgot.


She had 2 brothers and a sister. All of them had their own issues, all had been divorced more than once. Her sister had multiple kids with multiple guys, couldn't handle any of them. Her kids were all in legal trouble and at various times living with grandparents trying to straighten them out which never made much sense since they screwed up all the kids to start with. All her siblings had marriages end because of infidelity but all were cheated on, not cheaters. The thing all her siblings did that crazy girl didn't until after the meltdown was run to momma for everything. 

They never displayed the mental issues she had but they all seemed stunted in maturity and any family gathering was hours of fighting and bickering. The mother ruled the kids with a iron first growing up and even as adults. The father was a nice guy but clearly not "in charge" of anything. The mom had some definite mental issues


----------



## Chuck71

honcho said:


> She had 2 brothers and a sister. All of them had their own issues, all had been divorced more than once. Her sister had multiple kids with multiple guys, couldn't handle any of them. Her kids were all in legal trouble and at various times living with grandparents trying to straighten them out which never made much sense since they screwed up all the kids to start with. All her siblings had marriages end because of infidelity but all were cheated on, not cheaters. The thing all her siblings did that crazy girl didn't until after the meltdown was run to momma for everything.
> 
> They never displayed the mental issues she had but they all seemed stunted in maturity and any family gathering was hours of fighting and bickering. The mother ruled the kids with a iron first growing up and even as adults. The father was a nice guy but clearly not "in charge" of anything. The mom had some definite mental issues


That's a reality show I'd watch! Funny you never really know the family until you're M and you

"pretty much M the family." There's a reason they hide thems relatives.


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> That's a reality show I'd watch! Funny you never really know the family until you're M and you
> 
> "pretty much M the family." There's a reason they hide thems relatives.


The first time I met her mother at one of these grand family gatherings she blew a fit that I came and wasn't specifically informed I would be there and then proceeded to sit in her bedroom and pout and wouldn't come out. To say it was an awkward evening was an understatement. I should have dumped her and ran then......:banghead:


----------



## Chuck71

honcho said:


> The first time I met her mother at one of these grand family gatherings she blew a fit that I came and wasn't specifically informed I would be there and then proceeded to sit in her bedroom and pout and wouldn't come out. To say it was an awkward evening was an understatement. I should have dumped her and ran then......:banghead:


Damn......... I guess I was fooled by her mom. She was my 2nd mom. Yeah.....I was lucky. In a way......


----------



## Chuck71

Just to update..... UG got M again. 4th time. The guy? She was set up with him.... by mom's fat ass delusional sister. Apple don't fall far. Mom told me they were so much alike, AFTER I kicked her out. Thanks mom.... wish you'd had told me that about a year earlier. I should send him a sympathy card.

DC is now single and back home with her parents. Her dad asked if I wanted to see a game this year. Told him I'd have to take a flyer but appreciated the offer. He decided to try and build a Topps set from his birth year, 1955. He buys from me. He saw a couple games last year, DC went on one. Boy she has changed......

And I can't leave out WC.....after she signed the papers and the lawyer took the $12 to send it to Reg. of Deeds.... I get another, yes another, message from xBiL. Saying I still need to contact her. I blocked her after I went by and paid to have it recorded. I'm done.

She wanted something, I wanted something. She signed, to her benefit, and mine. I'm not here to "help you" or "direct you on how to pick up the pieces of your F'd up life" I re-blocked you for a reason. If her lawyer / WETF about housing really really needs me.... they can call me. And subpoena me to court if needed.

It's been almost six years since we D.....nearly half the time we were M........ It's over...... go bye-bye.


----------



## TheGoodGuy

Thanks for the update Chucky. How's dating life?


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> Just to update..... UG got M again. 4th time. The guy? She was set up with him.... by mom's fat ass delusional sister. Apple don't fall far. Mom told me they were so much alike, AFTER I kicked her out. Thanks mom.... wish you'd had told me that about a year earlier. I should send him a sympathy card.
> 
> DC is now single and back home with her parents. Her dad asked if I wanted to see a game this year. Told him I'd have to take a flyer but appreciated the offer. He decided to try and build a Topps set from his birth year, 1955. He buys from me. He saw a couple games last year, DC went on one. Boy she has changed......
> 
> And I can't leave out WC.....after she signed the papers and the lawyer took the $12 to send it to Reg. of Deeds.... I get another, yes another, message from xBiL. Saying I still need to contact her. I blocked her after I went by and paid to have it recorded. I'm done.
> 
> She wanted something, I wanted something. She signed, to her benefit, and mine. I'm not here to "help you" or "direct you on how to pick up the pieces of your F'd up life" I re-blocked you for a reason. If her lawyer / WETF about housing really really needs me.... they can call me. And subpoena me to court if needed.
> 
> It's been almost six years since we D.....nearly half the time we were M........ It's over...... go bye-bye.


They just never go away completely and pop up occasionally just to try and haunt a person. In a couple of weeks what would have been our 20 anniversary arrives. I was joking with my lawyer a few days ago I should probably plan a party since she still seems to make me the focus of her life. After 6 years of divorcing/divorced life just go away.....


----------



## Chuck71

honcho said:


> They just never go away completely and pop up occasionally just to try and haunt a person. In a couple of weeks what would have been our 20 anniversary arrives. I was joking with my lawyer a few days ago I should probably plan a party since she still seems to make me the focus of her life. After 6 years of divorcing/divorced life just go away.....


xBiL sent another message today. One more and I will block his ass too. He did say this time

to call xxxxx, a bankruptcy attorney. She filed right after our D and I remember getting HER letter

in the mail saying it was dismissed maybe a year / 18 months later. Mom opened it of course.

Wasn't aware you could file again this quick. Wondering what this has to do with public housing.

I'm not calling the GD lawyer. I had to wait almost six years for her ass to sign the quick claim......

she can wait another six for me to sign or verify what she needs. I, personally do not see where

I have to do a damn thing for her. The lawyer may be able to force me to disclose by subpoena....

if that's so, I will have to do so. But she can wait......just like I did.


----------



## Chuck71

TheGoodGuy said:


> Thanks for the update Chucky. How's dating life?


I'm cautious to answer this question....


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> xBiL sent another message today. One more and I will block his ass too. He did say this time
> 
> to call xxxxx, a bankruptcy attorney. She filed right after our D and I remember getting HER letter
> 
> in the mail saying it was dismissed maybe a year / 18 months later. Mom opened it of course.
> 
> Wasn't aware you could file again this quick. Wondering what this has to do with public housing.
> 
> I'm not calling the GD lawyer. I had to wait almost six years for her ass to sign the quick claim......
> 
> she can wait another six for me to sign or verify what she needs. I, personally do not see where
> 
> I have to do a damn thing for her. The lawyer may be able to force me to disclose by subpoena....
> 
> if that's so, I will have to do so. But she can wait......just like I did.


If a lawyer truly needs to chat with you he's gonna call you, not play relay messages thru x to xbil to chuck.


----------



## hope4family

honcho said:


> If a lawyer truly needs to chat with you he's gonna call you, not play relay messages thru x to xbil to chuck.


Or just subpoena. Either way if it's what you want. I personally think he probably isn't call you to save his client the 5 cents or they got the cheapest lawyer possible but whatever.


----------



## Blondilocks

Chuck71 said:


> I'm cautious to answer this question....


Smart man. lol


----------



## TheGoodGuy

You're right. Scratch that previous question Chuck! lol


----------



## Chuck71

TheGoodGuy said:


> Thanks for the update Chucky. How's dating life?


Glad you asked! I have had a secret affair for going on 40 years. Every female I have ever dated in the Fall, knew about it. From pre-1st love to FQ. I believe in being open and honest. She is a mistress. I just can't let her go. I try..... I really do. But she always breaks it off right before Valentine's Day. Which is great for me but.... why? EVERY year.... I would buy her a VDay gift.... honest! But Mrs. League walks her own path. Strap in for the next 22 weeks... she will leave me again...... I just know it.

Patriots 11-5 #2 
Dolphins 7-9 
Bills 5-11 
Jets 5-11 

Steelers 11-5 #3 
Bengals 8-8 
Ravens 7-9 
Browns 4-12 

Texans 10-6 #4 
Jaguars 10-6 #5 
Colts 7-9 
Titans 6-10 

Chargers 12-4 #1 
Broncos 9-7 #6
Raiders 7-9
Chiefs 6-10 

Cowboys 10-6 #4
Giants 9-7 
Eagles 9-7 
Redskins 5-11

Vikings 12-4 #2
Packers 10-6 #6
Lions 7-9
Bears 4-12

Saints 12-4 #1 
Falcons 10-6 #5
Panthers 7-9
Buccaneers 5-11

Rams 11-5 #3
49ers 9-7
Seahawks 8-8 
Cardinals 3-13


----------



## Chuck71

honcho said:


> They just never go away completely and pop up occasionally just to try and haunt a person. In a couple of weeks what would have been our 20 anniversary arrives. I was joking with my lawyer a few days ago I should probably plan a party since she still seems to make me the focus of her life. After 6 years of divorcing/divorced life just go away.....


Think I got you beat here with BSC Xs......

Called up bank, once had account there. Account closed. -But you are on an account with a female-

???? Mom never had an account there..... not even WC. She asked if my mom's name was xxxxx. 

Ibedamn.... it was UG. She added me back in 2013.....insisted. So tempted to ask what balance was.

So tempted to swab a check right after deposited. Egh.... I won't. Not right thing to do.

But this goes to show her ineptitude. Rule #1 when you split.... get your Fing Xs name OFF

your accounts. It will be 4, yes 4... years next month since I called it. Completely clueless.

For her Hs sake..... he does the bills. #youcantmakethissheetup


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> Think I got you beat here with BSC Xs......
> 
> Called up bank, once had account there. Account closed. -But you are on an account with a female-
> 
> ???? Mom never had an account there..... not even WC. She asked if my mom's name was xxxxx.
> 
> Ibedamn.... it was UG. She added me back in 2013.....insisted. So tempted to ask what balance was.
> 
> So tempted to swab a check right after deposited. Egh.... I won't. Not right thing to do.
> 
> But this goes to show her ineptitude. Rule #1 when you split.... get your Fing Xs name OFF
> 
> your accounts. It will be 4, yes 4... years next month since I called it. Completely clueless.
> 
> For her Hs sake..... he does the bills. #youcantmakethissheetup


For quite a while I dealt with mystery accounts where crazy girl would use my address or list me as contact info. Last time it was cops looking for her for a gas n go, she had my address and phone number listed on plates of car so the cops called and showed up here looking for her here. Stupid games like that. Every store that ran some kind of promo, she'd sign up with my phone so I'd get the annoying calls about sales and whatnot.

My football mistress has put on weight, she needs more makeup now to cover the wrinkles but can still woo me at times. Only true benefits of a smart phone is I can watch games in a tree stand hunting now haha! Most of my buddies started tailgating already up at lambeau, nothing like 8 hours of drinking and eating to get ya ready for a game :grin2:

Now chuck the pack 10-6? Really? Vikings winning division? The only thing that makes a Wisconsin winter longer and more miserable is the vikings winning division.....


----------



## Chuck71

honcho said:


> For quite a while I dealt with mystery accounts where crazy girl would use my address or list me as contact info. Last time it was cops looking for her for a gas n go, she had my address and phone number listed on plates of car so the cops called and showed up here looking for her here. Stupid games like that. Every store that ran some kind of promo, she'd sign up with my phone so I'd get the annoying calls about sales and whatnot.
> 
> My football mistress has put on weight, she needs more makeup now to cover the wrinkles but can still woo me at times. Only true benefits of a smart phone is I can watch games in a tree stand hunting now haha! Most of my buddies started tailgating already up at lambeau, nothing like 8 hours of drinking and eating to get ya ready for a game :grin2:
> 
> Now chuck the pack 10-6? Really? Vikings winning division? The only thing that makes a Wisconsin winter longer and more miserable is the vikings winning division.....


My team just tied the Browns....... I'll check back in October IF they right the ship. If not, F'em.

T'gating is the sheet!


----------



## honcho

Chuck71 said:


> My team just tied the Browns....... I'll check back in October IF they right the ship. If not, F'em.
> 
> T'gating is the sheet!


I thought you set the bar pretty high for browns with 4 wins but obviously they are a juggernaut >

Week one football has not been stellar. I understand the idea behind keeping good players out of preseason but it sure makes for ugly football the first few weeks of season.


----------



## TheGoodGuy

Chuck71 said:


> Glad you asked! I have had a secret affair for going on 40 years. Every female I have ever dated in the Fall, knew about it. From pre-1st love to FQ. I believe in being open and honest. She is a mistress. I just can't let her go. I try..... I really do. But she always breaks it off right before Valentine's Day. Which is great for me but.... why? EVERY year.... I would buy her a VDay gift.... honest! But Mrs. League walks her own path. Strap in for the next 22 weeks... she will leave me again...... I just know it.
> 
> Patriots 11-5 #2
> Dolphins 7-9
> Bills 5-11
> Jets 5-11
> 
> Steelers 11-5 #3
> Bengals 8-8
> Ravens 7-9
> Browns 4-12
> 
> Texans 10-6 #4
> Jaguars 10-6 #5
> Colts 7-9
> Titans 6-10
> 
> Chargers 12-4 #1
> Broncos 9-7 #6
> Raiders 7-9
> Chiefs 6-10
> 
> Cowboys 10-6 #4
> Giants 9-7
> Eagles 9-7
> Redskins 5-11
> 
> Vikings 12-4 #2
> Packers 10-6 #6
> Lions 7-9
> Bears 4-12
> 
> Saints 12-4 #1
> Falcons 10-6 #5
> Panthers 7-9
> Buccaneers 5-11
> 
> Rams 11-5 #3
> 49ers 9-7
> Seahawks 8-8
> Cardinals 3-13


Bahahaha, well played sir. BTW, she sounds like a real beotch.


----------



## Chuck71

honcho said:


> I thought you set the bar pretty high for browns with 4 wins but obviously they are a juggernaut >
> 
> Week one football has not been stellar. I understand the idea behind keeping good players out of preseason but it sure makes for ugly football the first few weeks of season.


Seems as if the Brewers and Cards are vying for those two play-off spots. Phillies are out, 4.5 back in WC and division. Still can't see how Dodgers haven't turned it on and left DBacks n Rocks in dust. If the West keeps beating the hell outta each other, the Central will send three teams.

The Braves are my 2nd fav just by geography. Screamed all off-season they needed a damn #2 pitcher to shore up the young staff. Tehran is not a #2 on a contending team. Maybe a vet in last year contract.... something like Charlie Liebrandt was for them in 1991-92. Braves can score runs, no prob.... but their staff are prone to give up too many.

Braves management will not allow pitchers to pitch into 7th or later anymore. Reason their bullpen is overworked. not to mention, not talented. I don't see them getting out of the divisional round.

Cards vs. Brewers in WC game.... whats yous tink @ReturntoZero


----------



## ReturntoZero

Chuck71 said:


> Seems as if the Brewers and Cards are vying for those two play-off spots. Phillies are out, 4.5 back in WC and division. Still can't see how Dodgers haven't turned it on and left DBacks n Rocks in dust. If the West keeps beating the hell outta each other, the Central will send three teams.
> 
> The Braves are my 2nd fav just by geography. Screamed all off-season they needed a damn #2 pitcher to shore up the young staff. Tehran is not a #2 on a contending team. Maybe a vet in last year contract.... something like Charlie Liebrandt was for them in 1991-92. Braves can score runs, no prob.... but their staff are prone to give up too many.
> 
> Braves management will not allow pitchers to pitch into 7th or later anymore. Reason their bullpen is overworked. not to mention, not talented. I don't see them getting out of the divisional round.
> 
> Cards vs. Brewers in WC game.... whats yous tink @ReturntoZero


I hope the Cardinals hold together long enough to get there.


----------



## Chuck71

Quick claim filed and copy sent to me! No more messages from xBiL. Maybe now she can blow away like a fart in the wind. But like Honcho says.... -they never do- xBiL did tell me exstepson is living with her, again. Lasted two months at his last job. Said boss was picking on him. No HS diploma, rap sheet.... he just turned 29. He was kicked out eight years ago and has done nothing but regress. I know he missed his grandmother..... so did WC but she was so self-consumed and closed-off...she ignored his pain and only soaked in her own pity. He and I did grow closer because the burden was on me....to talk to him, not his MOM. Nothing changes but the dates on the calendar.

New job is going quite good. Nice pay (should be better), but lots of down time. Commute sucks but I am still looking for another Director job. Could still work this job at full time and another full. Just few days a week. Reason I would consider this for awhile is their insurance is the sheet. I do have to put in for two days off in November. FQs birthday and mom's passing. If I worked FQs birthday, I'd probably get sex again by January LOL

As for FQ..... we're doing really well. We're about to exit the honeymoon stage. We all know how that goes. Except for her one spin out, been super well in communicating. Even if you fall off the coaster, the ride was still awesome. Let time play it out......DeMello style. 

One thing I do notice is if we go to the casino. If she loses.....or wins, builds up.... then loses especially, she is majorly PO'd. Beotchy, manipulative.... I just laugh. I don't even consider those crap tests TBH. Now if that behavior carried over into other things, yes I would be much more critical (not getting her way). But by the time we are in the parking lot, she's fine.

Boner is getting along well after getting script from vet (lasix) Bambi is of course still around. Three plus years for them. Summer has been hard on him. 11+ years with the gooberhead. Hope to get a few more comfy years with him. Still no petting Bambi, not even FQ. She will virtually walk up to FQ but if she flinches in the least bit to pet her, she go poof. 

I may expound upon some flashbacks of my childhood and WTF were they thinking moments, with my parents. Some good, some bad. Mostly stuff you think about sitting on a mountain at 2AM. And I will give kudos to FQ and re-enforcing her boundaries with her parents, siblings, and relatives. Even took a few pages from my book. But I'll leave it there. She has an account here, she can go in depth. 

Steelers lost again..... no D whatsoever. See you in November but.... I somewhat foresee their first losing season since 2003. Ben will miss quite a few games after a hit, Bell will be told to Foff and AB will have hissy fit. Reason why Mike Tomlin should be let go. Maybe Bill Cowher will do a Joe Gibbs and come out of retirement. As for the D..... DC Butler needs to be given walking papers.


----------



## honcho

I don't envision a pack/steeler superbowl rematch this year. Gb has too many holes in the d and it's far too dependent on one person on o. Surprised steelers have played as poorly as they have so far. 

My best friends always ends up losing at the casino, he always gets way ahead and loses it back. He goes into whiny schoolgirl mode then, takes him about half the car ride home to get back to normal. It doesn't help that we push his buttons either since we ALL know he's gonna blow all the winnings back >


----------



## Chuck71

Just an update....and given the fact Saturday marks six years since my DDay. Not that I feel anything about it today. Haven't for years. It's a date. And I recall dates. Reason I never got my nads busted over not recalling "dates" with girls I am dating. Usually it's the guy who is in the doghouse over forgetting dates LOL

Due to staff under me being shorthanded, I was requested to fill-in (all have to, even saw head hoch do it). Anyway.... had few people with me, taking them to the lake. I realized I was within a few miles from the house I lived at back in the mid-70s. I thought better of it but....I went anyway. Ibedamn the moment I turned on the road, Freebird came on the radio. I freaking lost it. Then of course you have thousands of memories flashing back at once. Most good, some bad. Not all can ever be good.

I saw the field beside the house I thought was huge in 1977. It's not that big anymore. The house was red outside....now it's blue and looks hideous. Hard to believe I lived within a stone's throw of the lake (not the lake I speak of). Across the slew, new fine homes with boat docks. The neighborhood they began building when I lived there, they all have docks and boats. My how times flies, just 40something years. Whooda knew?

About the job.... I got to have a two week vacation! It was paid. Well.... a staff member under me, while with me and another staff, used excessive force in placing a student in the van. I knew he did but I didn't "see" it. The other staff did. I sent in a report. The staff (offender) also did, placing ME as the culprit. Anyway... that's how I got a vay-cay! During the investigation, I made it known I had a teaching license and if it was ever in the vicinity of forfeiture or suspended, they would have more heat than a Thanksgiving Day turkey. Their actions after this led me to conclude I should ramp up my job search.

One...they did not fire the staff, even after the other staff corroborated my story and told what he did. I pushed the envelope. They don't like that. At work.... there is no smoking. It's not really enforced unless you blatantly do it. It wasn't a write-up but a discussion and sign the paper stating "it was discussed." My supervisor knew I would walk out behind the building and smoke. He is a non-smoker so I know, he knew. But since I pushed the envelope...... yeah.

I decided to just drop the questions. Shockingly.... as I still go out to smoke at the same places, nothing is said of it. Welcome to working in the 21st century. I'm staying but I will not stop smoking. The day of meetings, schedule review, etc... I am there 12 hours. You bet your ass I'm going to walk out and smoke. I told my supervisor (who is also under the gun from his higher ups) to "pick your battles." I never start crap but when it's thrown in my face, I do enjoy making the one who threw it, eat the crap. Just me, just old school....

FQ and I are still going well. Little stuff but we talk about it. We stop arguing the first time voices get raised. Wait.....then resume. I'm sure each of us could gripe about 4-5 things on the other but that's normal. Neither is worried at all about rocking the boat. Sometimes it needs to be rocked. She is continuing to enforce boundaries with her family. Her parents are hard....I can see that. Her dad is opening up to her and it's just over her bringing him a biscuit, or coffee. Her dad grew up very poor. I mentioned your acts of kindness may be the way. I know it's not your way but often we never get things our way. Her parents are virtually my parents age. All I have now is memories. You still have a chance. But however she chooses, I will support her decision.

Speaking of the house at the lake. It had bay windows and mom always loved those. Back then mom was sick a lot and a Dr. actually told pop the best thing for her to do is move her to the country and raise chickens. Brick back porch, grill.... I can still map the house to this day. Few memories I'd like to share......

-Pop was teaching me how to shoot pistols. I guess I was 5. I shot it, had some kick. Then I pointed at him and he was scared chitless and ran. I thought it was funny and chased him. He went inside till I dropped the gun. We didn't go a' shootin for a good while after.

-Anytime I washed my hands with the garden hose and the dryer was on, mom had me open the duct and it would dry my hands. Thought mom was a genius.

-McDs had cartoon character glasses sometime in the mid-70s. I needed Bugs Bunny. Still remember pop driving up and I was in the yard looking for mischief. He showed it to me and yelled it was Bugs. Happiest Fing kid in the world that day.

-Mom would cut out circles in towels so I could run around like Batman....till I stepped on the towel and ripped it. Then another towel she would cut but two was the limit -If you tear two towels you'll have to wait to save the world- LOL.....classic!

-I would run after pop when he would leave or leave with a friend. I would usually run to the curve in the road.... 200 yards. For some damn reason, I had a bug up my ass and kept on. I had to be a good mile from the house. They were long gone and I am guessing mom figured I'd be back. Anyway..... an old man and his son stopped when they saw me walking up the road. They decided it would be best to take me back home. Which they did. Granted this was the "country country, 1970s style" I didn't know him and for all I know I could have been kidnapped. Again.... different time. And yes....mom was livid!

-Mom had me helping her check Christmas lights on the tree (I was in 1st grade). I'llbe...Santa just walked around the house. Yeah..... guess who it was. You been a good boy, etc? I told on every kid in my class, but me LOL I was golden. I know pop was thinking "bullfreakingchit kid" ..... That's.....what I remember. Difference is I would recall that and laugh 25 years ago. Today... tears come.

-I was in my bedroom, 2nd story. My bedroom had toys galore. -Clean up your damn room- Pop got to the point -just clear a damn trail- LOL.... I can't recall but I was bad about leaving toys out. Funny I grew up to be a neat freak. Anyway...I was in my room playing. Two men came to the door. Wanted to talk to pop. I told them he was not home (out window of bedroom). They asked if my mom was home. I said no. I honestly recall mom had went to the store and it was just a few miles away and she left me at home (I was 5 or 6). They asked me to let them in and I said no. They said they could wait for pop to get home instead of coming back. They tried opening the door, locked. I told them I was going to call the police. They bolted. Later on....it was two guys looking for pop involving "shady dealings." I like to think leaving kids at home in those days were not bad, different time. But the business pop was in then....and into the 1980's was.... well let me just say "unsavory" What if they'd have broke in? I had a killer hiding place but, you never know. They could have grabbed me.... But this was also the type of business pop preached to never go into. He made a mistake. But what if........ Putting mom and me in the fray? Not cool...


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## honcho

I go by the house I grew up in every few months it seems and always have old memories pop up. The house hasn't changed after all these years. All the homes on the block were late 1800s Victorian style homes so the entire block hasn't changed much. We lived across the street from the river and as kids our big play area was the land next to the river, that area has now been developed with boat docks all along the river. I always think what a shame considering how much time us neighborhood kids spent there. I wonder what the kids in that neighborhood do now but of course I remember kids don't play now, just video games and online stuff. Back in my youth if you hung around the house too much my parents would kick us out and tell us to go play...outside. 

We'd be gone all day, now parents would probably be turned in for abandonment or something. 

I used to tell myself that if the house ever went up for sale I'd try to buy it, yet the person who purchased from my parents has never listed the house and been there over 35 years now. What would I do with a 3 story Victorian home anyway.


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## Chuck71

I made it!!! I had reservations about today (11/14) for a good six months. I didn't lose anything this time. Well truth be told, I didn't lose anything the other three trips. Just thought I did at the time. But what I gained today, was not good. But first.... I want to get this off my chest, to someone.

Last week was FQs birthday. It was a really nice day....until. We went by her parents and..... just weird, to me at least. Her Bday last year was overshadowed by her brother's declining health. I chalked it up as a weird occurrence. Well.....it actually wasn't. I know I did not have the greatest parents in the world but FFS they would acknowledge it, take me out to eat and give gifts. Backstory.....my 18th birthday my parents were broker than a dead man needing a coffin. Even though we were that broke, there was a box of ice cream sammys in freezer, my fav as a kid. To me...that's a memory. It never crossed my mind 'they didn't get me anything' I knew they were broke.... hell they were borrowing money from me (granted I was paying 0 rent, food, etc).

Ok...back to the story.... her parents did not gift, take her out to her fav place to eat, or even a card (yes they have $$$). Wait.... there's more. Not one time the two hours we were there did her dad say /happy birthday/ to her. FQ told me beforehand he wouldn't, I didn't believe her. Now he perked up with interest when she talked about her business but other than that, he was annoyed to a degree she was there. Anyway we were leaving and I told her "now go hug his ass and if he doesn't say HB you stare him in the eye and turn and leave." He said nothing. She cried all the way home. I'm sorry but that just pissed me the F off. Nothing I can do about it....not my place. Just damn sad.

I kinda sorta had a 11/14 curse, it seemed. But I'm weird with dates.

-2012....This was the first night WC did not come home. That...to me, was like another DDay. But this was when I hit the rabbit hole. Not coming home, after she had every night (-3rd shift) for 15 years....oh hells no. Damn sure not when we're dancing with a D over our heads. This day was the beginning of the downward slide....which lead to walking into the Tao. After that....WC didn't have a snowball's chance in hell.

-2014....By this time UG and I were through, month before I called it. THEN she wanted to try and fix things. All she thought she had to do was show up....didn't fly. Anyway we agreed she was to move out the long weekend of Thanksgiving. I even offered to help her move with my F-150. But UG wanted to show her ass and pull a surprise moving party, at 8PM. Everyone in her family showed up (well not everyone) grabbing everything right and left. After two hours of chaos, UG said they would be back for the last load. I said hells no, it was near 11 at night. She said she could make this difficult. Right then I wanted a female here on my side, I know how crap like that can go. 1st love couldn't come that soon (had she I swear she would have beat her ass up and down the street) so I had to ask mom. UG got hers in the end though....sending her collection letters to her parents (huge embarrassment for her) and the constable coming to my house looking for her serving a court summons. A friend told me the night it happened, "She self-sabotaged the relationship because she felt like she did not deserve to be in one." The friend, @Zillard. 

-2016....DC. Still seems recent compared to the others. It was short, high flying, then it went boom. I'd already called it the first time. Again the boo-hoo let's try, etc. Two weeks later, 11/14, I called it for good. The next guy she met, was engaged to must have realized her true self as well, he ran for the hills. Still sell cards to her dad. He said she's met a guy who does whatever she asks...... KISA. See how that goes. LOL

And today.....11/14/18. Told FQ it might be good if we play the quiet game all day. Never really told her in depth about the days. Well it's here if she wants to read it. Still together so I guess curse broken. Well the addition I got today....was from my doctor. Minus one visit in 2016, first time I saw him in six years. Beginning stages diabetes. Lifestyle changes..... let's just say I'm already there. I will employ the old Karate Kid and Rocky IV soundtracks. In other words, diabetes is already beaten. Go F with someone else, you can't win here bytch. Haven't ramped it up in awhile, now I have a reason to.






Key difference is...... I'm not Danielson anymore.....


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## Chuck71

The day before Thanksgiving and she drags my happy ass to Wally World. Do you hate me THAT much? LOL ...... Tomorrow will be hard for me. Two years ago, I went to visit mom in the nursing home and she was so medicated on morphine, I did not even recognize her. Last year, FQs brother was getting admitted to hospice. So I was proping her up (didn't mind) and it did distract me to some degree. The day he was admitted was one year when mom died. FQ came up that night, so I wouldn't be alone. Meant a lot. Thankfully neither of us have impending family deaths this year. So we both are going to go through the one and two year things without any outside activity. "We'll see how it goes"

FQ can tell you how she feels being a member. Me.... Thanksgiving was never a big thing for my parents. So in later years, they weren't for me. Mom n pop would go out to eat this day since the mid-80s. Plus mamaw and pop never got along well as the years passed by. Way back when I was a kid (I'm still a kid LOL), all mom's siblings would have it with their families and all pile up at mamaw's. Wouldn't be a shock to see 15 cars in the driveway and yard. Just a Southern thing LOL I miss that.... but that was 40 years ago.

Mom always loved the Adam Sandler Tgiving skit on SNL. She would have me play it every year, day before. But those days have passed. I have no family anymore. I never realized it until FQ asked me, when mom was near death in 2016 (died less than week later), didn't anyone offer you to their home or offer to bring something to you? No they didn't. Shocked her. FQ has both parents and two siblings, but she is virtually as much an orphan, as I am. To me....her story is more tragic. No wonder liquor sales spike this time of year! 

But we're doing well. Everyone must work some holidays, way it is and it is across the boards. I chose Tgiving and Christmas Day to work. I will not work either Eve. Sad though....the other two are her favs. But she has time flex, I don't. I won't be here next year so it will just be a bump. The company wants to own you, I refuse to be owned. So it is just a matter of time. The company's core is solid but their execution is very lackadaisical.... until the state comes in, then they give a damn. I can't work for a place like this.

On a cool note, FQ's business is taking off....enough to where I need to change her nick. EQ.... epoxy queen. Tumbler cups, fabric, galaxy cups, etc. -You may have to come to work for me when this gets big- "I want "benefits" LOL.... I will be involved, doing the books, payout/payin, etc. EQ learned she was allergic to the epox and had to start wearing a spacesuit. All I'm thinking is alien role-play LOL.... I'm a guy, shoot me!


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## honcho

My largest account is a Walmart and one of my products is a thanksgiving staple so for the last few days I've been stuck in Walmart 3 times a day restocking them. I hate going to Walmart when it's slow, now they are jammed with customers. I've never understood why anyone wants to shop in that madhouse. 

Thanksgiving has never been much of a family tradition for me. It's the middle of deer hunting so that always been mine and my buddies excuses to miss the family get togethers. Most of us will hunt in morning, guys will take off for the dried out turkey dinner around noon and by sunset they will start showing up back at my buddies house and drink way too much so Friday morning they can enjoy the hangover in a tree stand haha! Back in younger days when my grandfather was alive we used to road trip to his farm and invade. He would suddenly have a dozen cars parked all over yard.

Grandpa always looked forward to the gang showing up and every year he'd make a big ham which he would overcook so badly you could hardly choke it down and Fri morning he'd make the greasiest eggs and the blackest tar coffee you ever tasted. One cup of that stuff and you'd have the jitters for half the morning haha!


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## Chuck71

Hunting season is huge here too. But here they also take their drinking serious. Gotsta bes carefull. Papaw was a very skilled hunter, grew up in 20s and 30s. Main reason he liked pop. Course it used to always be cold by this time of year here.

We rode by my house, first time I ever saw it, 30 years ago TGiving. And it was 60something. Everyone had on winter clothes because the summer stuff had been put away. Sweated like a mummy in a tomb. 

I hate Wal Mart. I avoid it whenever I can. But if it is a must trip, during the holidays like Wednesday was.... either before 2PM or after 2AM. NOT 6PM when EQ suddenly needed to go.


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## Chuck71

Guess I'm about as old as a dried fart in a ******* cannery. Went by to finally get my eyes checked. Yeah......dems bad. "My last eye exam was great" -And when was this Chuck?- "1998" Doc just rolled his eyes. Gonna be four-eyes now. But maybe that will make me look 'distinguished.' More than likely a goofy ass mountain guy trying to look like Mr. Peadbody. But you try to make the best of it. Doc told me with glasses I will see much better, you will be amazed. I looked at EQ, "Can't promise anything once I really get to see what you look like." She laughed.....we do that stuff back and forth often. 

So now I have to pick out frames. Yeah....what fun. -Try this one, try that one- Ugh. Finally took one pair off quickly, "For God sake Vito the girl is only 15, she can't have the baby." You can be dramatic with glasses. Try that with contacts..... May end up getting the Rick Vaughn type. Been pretty cold lately, had to get Boner into the storage room. Concrete floor with lino over it. Nothing in there he can get into. We would sneak in and check on him.....Bambi was still in the garage on the blanket they share. She would walk up to the glass door and he would get up to the door too. We'd let her in too if she would let us. Bambi will now walk up to both of us and eat out of our hand but petting, she still flies away. Hard to imagine they're going on four years together. Boner is let out during the day and when they are in the garage, most of the time she is virtually laying on top of him to give heat. Something like Love Story, K9 style. Yes EQ sees this and goes all goo and gaa's.

Tomorrow is the day I was worried about (11-29). But tonight was the night I knew something was not right. Went and talked to mom for hours the night before. Talking about all the Christmas stuff from decades ago. I've done a lot with my life but I have a great deal of unfinished business. It means a lot to me, to achieve these things. If not.... and I know it sounds weird, but I would feel like I let my parents down. Yeah, yeah, yeah.... all your parents want you to do is to be a good person, give kindness, make good choices and be happy with whatever you choose. I'm sorry but I would be a very pizzed off person if I do not achieve a few more things, all personal. Nothing to do with purchasing power or fame. I'm a director, not an actor. If I can not achieve these things, I have lived through life with ADHD and autism without harnessing it and using it for good. And in many ways, my life would have been, not "wasted" but..... "not utilized in a correct manner." 

It is difficult to define "success" when you have nothing measurable to compare it against. My largest "coming of age" album was, of course....Bon Jovi's Slippery when Wet. A near 2nd..... Boston's Third Stage.


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## Chuck71

Been awhile.....thought I would update. I've gotten used to the glasses a lot better than I expected. Driving at night in the rain or fog doesn't tense me up anymore. It's about time to go to my Dr. for the check-up. Y'know....about the diabetes. Dr. gave me some form of medication at the November visit. Can't recall the name but it was to help with the affliction. I did not get those filled. I wasn't ready yet and EQ also stated -Well if you diet better and lose weight and take those, you really won't know which helped and how much- See why I like her?

Mostly when I have lost weight in the past, I just fast....five days, week, two weeks. 17 is my high from way back in 1990. Course I drink coffee way too much and..... I would puff on them cancer sticks. Just four years ago I dropped around 40 lbs. in one month. So much so a pic from around Thanksgiving '14 and Christmas '14 was told to be two different people from a female. -Don't starve yourself, just eat better. I need to do this too. We will do this together- It started to work, gradually. Yeah.....yeah the way you supposed to do it. Call me a non-conformist LOL

One thing which helped a lot was cutting back 67% on my "self-medication." I have had trouble sleeping since my teen years. It really did not get bad until I was older. I would drink a few beers before bed and eat something, to go to sleep. Gee.... Chuck.....wonder WTF all that excess weight came from. EQ has an on-line biz. I help her share while she is live. LSS... I pounded a "few" watching the Steelers that afternoon and took a nap afterwards. EQ woke me when she was ready to go live a few hours later. On my end, it's boring, not to mention her sales are female related. So I do other stuff between shares. I knew it was late in the evening and too late to get into anything else so.....I pounded a few more while researching deals on baseball cards. Before I knew it, I was toast.....beyond toast. And......I sort of "showed my arse."

She called me on it the next morning, rightfully so. It wasn't a stop drinking beers before bed or I'm gone. -You need to cut back on that and find other ways to go to sleep. I know you have trouble sleeping so I'm not disputing that. But the beer every night has got to go- I was in 110% agreement. I now use Melatonin (sp) in a timed fashion....works even better than the beers did. The cut back on the beers at night has drastically lowered my weight. And I don't eat near as much after work. Gotta hand it to EQ, she smacked me right in the mouth, when I needed it.

I'm down from 44s to 40s since November. I really haven't cut back on eating, just what I eat. But the first part of losing is easy....then it gets hard and that's when most give up. This is where I fear I will go back into fast mode. I know it, know how to use it....know the days #4-10 are electrifying. But then you crash. I could pull that off in my younger days..... but my younger days have passed. Try the other way. Patience with others I have.......patience with me, not so much. I have no problem with focus..... but when I over-do things (ADHD / autism), she keeps me grounded. 

So as we inch towards our two year mark.... things are going extremely well. She will be making me a cup soon saying "Diabetes..... Remind me to give a Fuxx" 

The problem employee who attempted to throw me under the bus, acted out in "beyond moronic" manner and was taken to task by someone else. When I heard about it, I added my peace with prior and up-to-date documented actions. He is no longer employed with company. 

Good riddance! But yet.... another problem employee has risen. This one is....actually amusing. In this case, it is a female. One must be careful how you approach a female co-worker in about any shape or form. But it's not complicated if you laugh at their attempts and shut them down. Her # of jabs are being calculated. She is about at the point I flip the tables. Like with others close in my life who attempt(ed) to cut me, I smile, act like everything is okay. In the meantime I plan my course and..... well it is fun to watch them squirm. 

Welcome to working in the 21st century....where their lives are so morbid, they have to fixate on you. I think it is her covert way of liking me, being a female co-worker informed me, -it's like she is obsessed with you- Luckily I have several females going to bat for me as...they noticed co-worker's actions as well.

I never start crap but I will be more than happy to flip the schit and rub it right in your face. Because..... you deserve it.


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## hope4family

Good to hear from you Chuck. When I read all the work place drama in these threads I am 100% grateful I am virtual. I simply log in, meet the required metrics, log out.


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## Chuck71

Well......it's hard to believe it's been two years for EQ and I. Had the bumps along the way. But it's running smooth. We have defined roles in the relationship, they are traditional, but I like it that way. I make money and she spends it.... I'm kidding. 

I had plans for us to take a sunset cruise but that night, yes...it had just rained and was cloudy. She asked me what we were going to do. I said dress casual and you'll know it when we get there. I took her to the restaurant we first met at. Yeah she was all ooey-gooey.

But I had to step up my game. Last year for my Bday, she tried to have it somewhere but could not get the date. It was to the Lookouts stadium, to have a picnic as the sunset over the mountain. Not the new stadium.... the old one, Engle Stadium. She knows I like them old stadiums. She says I'm an old soul. She's probably right though.

I've had CDs in my mini boom box in my office, Rush, Triumph, Kansas, Bread, Allman Brothers, Styx, etc.... and these "kids" think they're some new band. I just shake my head. -Chuck we are amazed at the work you put out, you exceed all others- No....I just don't spend 40% of my work day playing on my phone. Still to get a smartphone....older I get, more I doubt I ever will. 

As for EQ and I, yeah we're late in years but "we're trying." We appear to have each other's back.... hope that doesn't change. Not sold on the M concept though....it's not the church aspect, it's the god damn government interference. As for government interference all together..... not in favor of it at all. But the government is patient, they are allowing the people to become more and more dependent upon them. 

For the government to do this over 50 years, a revolution would probably occur. Instead they decided to just wait another 50, 75, 100 years and they will come to us. They're dead ass right. Almost everything I pay for today, my great grandparents, did not. Car, car ins, home owners ins, lights, water, cable, net, phone, food..... Yes we have it much better than my great grandparents but... I feel like we gave up more than we are now getting. Just my thoughts.....

Tax Day was mom's Bday, she would've been 75. Miss the #$^^* outta her. Had a dream a good while back....she came to the back porch from the woods. She was asking me to forgive her for her actions near the end. Of course I told her yes. Reason I held her hand while reading Lord's Prayer. She died less than a day later. 

Tax Day gave one last twist..... as I filed my taxes, I was told................... my birthday changed. Ahhh how'd dat happ'n? Went to get birth certif. Same b-day. Seems the SS office has a different one down. Here we go with the government again. For a few minutes.... I looked over at EQ and said "Watch these F'ers say I'm dead. Then you can go all Trinity from Matrix and fall in love with a dead man." Just wanted to be humorous... 

Got more to say about mom.... one was the post I made in another thread couple months back. And the two hour drive, I remember nothing of but opened a new perception of clarity. 






Recently listened to this......felt to me, as it did when I first heard it.....during my "coming of age" Another door pushes open?....


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## Chuck71

If you can view my previous thread, roughly late 2014..... there are similarities. This was unannounced and actually not "foreseen." But boundaries up....take your best shot. You can't win...... in a case like this, no one wins. "Do what you must, as will I"






Maybe a bump, or a hill, or a mountain..... and no it isn't your choice to decide, two people=two opinions.

Do with which you see necessary....


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## farsidejunky

Chuck71 said:


> Well......it's hard to believe it's been two years for EQ and I. Had the bumps along the way. But it's running smooth. We have defined roles in the relationship, they are traditional, but I like it that way. I make money and she spends it.... I'm kidding.
> 
> I had plans for us to take a sunset cruise but that night, yes...it had just rained and was cloudy. She asked me what we were going to do. I said dress casual and you'll know it when we get there. I took her to the restaurant we first met at. Yeah she was all ooey-gooey.
> 
> But I had to step up my game. Last year for my Bday, she tried to have it somewhere but could not get the date. It was to the Lookouts stadium, to have a picnic as the sunset over the mountain. Not the new stadium.... the old one, Engle Stadium. She knows I like them old stadiums. She says I'm an old soul. She's probably right though.
> 
> I've had CDs in my mini boom box in my office, Rush, Triumph, Kansas, Bread, Allman Brothers, Styx, etc.... and these "kids" think they're some new band. I just shake my head. -Chuck we are amazed at the work you put out, you exceed all others- No....I just don't spend 40% of my work day playing on my phone. Still to get a smartphone....older I get, more I doubt I ever will.
> 
> As for EQ and I, yeah we're late in years but "we're trying." We appear to have each other's back.... hope that doesn't change. Not sold on the M concept though....it's not the church aspect, it's the god damn government interference. As for government interference all together..... not in favor of it at all. But the government is patient, they are allowing the people to become more and more dependent upon them.
> 
> For the government to do this over 50 years, a revolution would probably occur. Instead they decided to just wait another 50, 75, 100 years and they will come to us. They're dead ass right. Almost everything I pay for today, my great grandparents, did not. Car, car ins, home owners ins, lights, water, cable, net, phone, food..... Yes we have it much better than my great grandparents but... I feel like we gave up more than we are now getting. Just my thoughts.....
> 
> Tax Day was mom's Bday, she would've been 75. Miss the #$^^* outta her. Had a dream a good while back....she came to the back porch from the woods. She was asking me to forgive her for her actions near the end. Of course I told her yes. Reason I held her hand while reading Lord's Prayer. She died less than a day later.
> 
> Tax Day gave one last twist..... as I filed my taxes, I was told................... my birthday changed. Ahhh how'd dat happ'n? Went to get birth certif. Same b-day. Seems the SS office has a different one down. Here we go with the government again. For a few minutes.... I looked over at EQ and said "Watch these F'ers say I'm dead. Then you can go all Trinity from Matrix and fall in love with a dead man." Just wanted to be humorous...
> 
> Got more to say about mom.... one was the post I made in another thread couple months back. And the two hour drive, I remember nothing of but opened a new perception of clarity.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euJh8lwbxFs
> 
> Recently listened to this......felt to me, as it did when I first heard it.....during my "coming of age" Another door pushes open?....


Nice update, Chuck. 

That album is one of my all-time favorites BTW. 

Give my best to FQ.



Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk


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## Chuck71

farsidejunky said:


> Nice update, Chuck.
> 
> That album is one of my all-time favorites BTW.
> 
> Give my best to FQ.
> 
> 
> 
> Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk


About a post too late......

Yeah.... Third Stage was the schit.


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## farsidejunky

Meh...you know who you are and what you want.

Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk


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## Blondilocks

It isn't over 'til the fat lady sings.


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## Chuck71

Things have stabilized as the issues were addressed. It's not fully resolved but it is getting there. But I would wish to note something. A few weeks ago, EQ received a message from FB Marketplace about a Queen Anne table she had posted almost a year prior. Who inquired about it.......none other than...................................Window Cork. EQ told me and I replied -I'd rather you not sell it to her being it was mom's- EQ pretty much agreed. WC asked -Is this still for sale? Did this belong to xxxx (mom's first name)- 

I told EQ she can reply if she chooses, I don't care but I don't want to sell it to her and do not want her on my damn property. EQ replied -Were you related to xxxx (mom)- And here it came..........-I loved xxxxx. I was so sad about her death. I've had hard times and am just looking for some cheap furniture. I'm her son's ex and I don't want to cause any problems-

#cantmakethiscrapup I do believe she wanted to stir stuff. I have had her blocked for well over a year minus the deal about getting her ass off the deed. My estimation is she is dead broke, the thug she was laying up with was costing her more than he was bringing in, and is in complete desperation mode. She knows I'm light years beyond done but *lmfao* thinks I would take her back if she could break EQ and I up. Sounds idiotic doesn't it..... well profile her, lemme know what you come up with.

EQ just responded to her that one time. I told her feel free to carry on a conversation with her-about me. But if you decide to believe what comes out of her mouth, we gonna have a 'Coming to Jesus" talk. As far as I know, she never replied back other than the one asking how she knew mom. I do trust EQ and she said she didn't and that she blocked WC.

I can't recall who said this.... @Tron or @just got it 55 but one of them said, mine and @honcho 's XWs will never completely leave. I'm beginning to believe that LOL


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## TheGoodGuy

Gahhh... sometimes they just never go away..


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## Chuck71

Before I get to my 2nd extended unannounced "vacation" from work, I had a visual confirmation. Wonder why things like this happen LOL..... Due to the "vacation" money got a tad tight. I was running by the bank and was in drive-thru. A crazy person pulled up to the ATM machine, put card in, obviously did not receive what she expected and backed up to a drive-thru.

It was weird how it dawned on me. Same vehicle as she had in 2007. Yep....it was a WC sighting. First time we ever ran into one another in town. But I didn't even recognize her at first. Time changes so much. Course she knew who I was. I felt not a thing. Hard to believe I spent 15 years with her.

I'm expecting an email shortly. "Act accordingly" 

EQ was told.


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## Chuck71

It was a bright and sunny day in July. I was taking several clients out for an excursion and by the Wal Mart for items in the home. Fellow staff was leaving post 
just as we were leaving. There is a gate around their home. One client was going to close the gate but staff following us out said she would shut it. 
This was around 2:30. Female staff came to my window -Client said his foot is hurt, have nurse check it out when you get back- Client was asked if he was okay, 
replied yes. Client was asked do you need to see nurse, he said no.

Drove to Wally World, walked around 90 minutes. Checked his foot while there and when he got on and off van....looked fine. Went to a look-off (FSJ same place me 
and EQ took you last year), 25 degree incline....client walked around for ten minutes. No limp. Returned home, I informed nurse of what female staff said. 
Nurse (actually a guy in med school) checked weight balance / shifting (client is quite overweight) and said client was okay. End of story right?

Later that night client told other staff, I hurt his foot. BTW client has huge crush on this staff. Next day I reported to work at 2PM. Since 8AM that day, client 
said foot hurt. Client went from hurt foot to broke foot to I broke his foot. Client is around 40 but has mental capacity of 8-9 y /o. But from 8AM to 2PM when I 
arrived, female staff from yesterday and my boss....did nothing. Then female staff wrote report on it and....all hell broke loose. I was sent home. Investigation 
began.

There's a story behind this. I was placed under investigation two other times. First (posted about) when staff tried to throw me under the bus and was discovered, 
he was lying. Second same staff left Tide pods and baking soda by dumpster in hope of making it look like I did it. Like I was trying to "steal" it LOL. The 
investigation lasted three weeks. You are not paid during this time, unless you are cleared. Just regular wages, no OT that you usually put in. These three weeks 
included my birthday. EQ took me to my fav Italian bistro but with $ tight, unable to do anything else with my lost wages. I had $ set back but emergency only.

I was supposed to have the week of my birthday off, paid time off. My boss was upset I wanted to take time off (can't run home without me, more BS). But I had been 
there a year and not took one day off with pay. You can only carry so much time over from previous year. Anyhows..... three weeks pass, I spoke to APS, the QC from 
my company and a lady from the state. The state lady was trying to nail the female staff member mentioned previously as the culprit. Even asked me could she have 
ran over client's foot. "Maam I seriously doubt client's foot was even ran over."

I called state lady and our QC....said call me back, got some questions (nearing three weeks off work). Lo and behold....hour later my boss called, said I was ready 
to be put back on schedule after meeting with 2nd in command. Met with 2nd IC next day. I was charged with neglect. Now signing paper does not state you agree with 
outcome and you can appeal. -Sign this and go back to work and STFU- is what I saw. I asked for my back pay. 
IF.... you are charged with neglect, 1-You are fired, 2-No way in hell would they keep you, 3-No way in hell's hell would they give you back pay. Guess whaaaat.... 
put me back on schedule (after "neglect") and gave me complete back pay (only regular pay, not the OT scheduled). And at the same home client was said was neglected 
by me. Oh.....I can take said client out on outings LOL

It is in appeals (see below edit). The state investigator has yet to return my calls to discuss "his findings." I have put out a few feelers with his co-workers to call me back. 
Nada.....BTW.... until that "charge" is 
removed, it may keep me from a teaching position (licensed). I want this off my record or we are going to court and I will, ask for my FULL pay during time off. I won't go away....mr. state investigator.

Controlled rage.....calculated, scripted, methodical. You had to claim I....I ran over client's foot AFTER.....THREE LPN/RNs cleared him of injury. Client was running around his home two days after this occurred. Broke foot my ass.

I have nothing against the client, he doesn't know better. He and I still laugh and play jokes on each other but I refuse to take him out. My boss did the higher 
ups "grunt work" in calling me after my inquiry. Once I started making calls pushing for answers, hour later, sevreal from work start calling me. Odd? 

Reason I am easily qualified for one of my boss' job but refuse to apply for it. They would not like my old-school methods. 
I'm job hunting......

Edit...... In my case you can not appeal the decision. Well letters will be sent to my Executive Director and to the "state investigator's" boss. To appeal this...
there has to be three similar occurrences within a 24 month period. THEN you can appeal it. Like I stated, let it keep me from a licensed position anytime
in the future and it's "bull in china shop." 






Act accordingly.....and smile when it's about to happen


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## farsidejunky

I have agreed with you from the start that it is fishy on many levels. 

I would think an attorney would be salivating at a case like this.

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## Chuck71

MMDLVI

Two thousand five hundred and fifty-six days. The amount of time earlier this week in which I had my DDay. Two days later, I came here. It seems like a lifetime ago now. Trials, tribulation, triumph. I am in such a greater place compared to then. I've eased on the idea of M but I still despise the fact the government wants to stick their damn nose in it. Appears EQ needs another nick....again. The epoxy gave her chem burns and proceeded to place boils on her body at a large number. The boils were the size pop used to have. I used to get them but not much any more. Them's ain't fun. She switched to selling pearls and setting and some other kind of stuff. Need a nick.....

Not far from three years in with her. Little bumps but they are critiqued swiftly, no rugsweeping whatsoever. One thing she gets frustrated about is I will go silent after an episode, to keep from saying something I don't feel is appropriate. I take for granted she knows I will discuss the situation but not right then. But when she was growing up and as an adult, her family is notorious for not speaking. -It's the worst thing you can do to me- I own it and apologize for not verbally telling her. Her family situation has not changed at all. She has invited her parents up, 40 miles away. Not yet to come. "You put it out there, rest out your control"

As stated last year, her dad did not tell her ILY on her b-day. Her's was couple days ago and we went to the usual Italian bistro, as we do for mine. It's near her parents and several relatives. She did not plan on going by her parents. I supported her decision. Around 6 in evening, she receives a call from her mom. She wished HB and was told by EQ we were obviously in their area. Her mom said nothing about -won't y'all swing by- THAT's how bad it is, and sad. Mom would hunt me down if I didn't go see her on my B-day. After she hung up I thought, wait a couple minutes and he will call. Ibedamn he did. No ILY or swing by. I knew it pizzed her off and hurt her.

She was swinging by her parents to place a gift she got for her mom awhile back, in their mailbox. She did not wish to go in and re-live the disappointment. But she misses them, I 110% understand. She circled their house and I knew she wanted to stop and go in. -Stop if you want. I will give nod when I'm ready to go. I still don't have enough creed to say something myself but this time, I might anyway." Again....no card, no gift. She had to use restroom and it was me and them. Just as she had stated, as soon as she went out, her mom got back on her tablet, dad...the TV. It was like I was invisible. -Now you know how I feel- Stayed about 30 minutes, got ready to leave, her mom said the two things she was looking for. She got up to leave and at the door, I again told her, "Go Fing hug his ass, if he don't say it, that's on him. You are hugging him for you." He hugged her, HB and the ILY she so wanted. It was scripted but he still said it.

She told him a month after last year's b-day that, that was all she wanted, ILY. She understands it was scripted but -hell he said it. It's a start- "See how it goes next year....without prompting." Beyond sad, if you ask me. Makes me, mom n pop look like Swiss Family Robinson. 

EQ always gets her fav for her B-day, chicken parm. About a year ago, she challenged me to cook it for her. I crafted it to where it's almost as good. Only difference is a spice and their oven grill. I stove mine. Looking into brick oven grill for backyard. And I want to try to make homemade alfredo sauce. Just want to have 5-6 things I can cook to give her a break in kitchen. 

My 2nd mom finally met EQ. 2nd mom's sister got M. I'm really close to 2nd mom and her sister since the 90's. Weird I mostly have no problem getting along with Southern transplanted Yankees. Anyways....they want us to hang out soon. We'll see.....

With the holidays upcoming, it will be hard for me, given mom is gone. Just three years ago. I still like to think back to a time long ago....innocence. Won't lie.....I miss both. I don't miss the fights, controlling behavior, attempted manipulation, self-serving actions, using me as a pawn. Y'know....normal crap LOL.... I've said many times I would post more on that....I haven't. Maybe a book, I dunno.

Will update on work deal soon. They tried to "smack my hand and say no-no again." Was comical to say the least. As always, plan in place. Knowing what they will say, what I will say, and their responses before they happen is...... enticing. 

Dr. finally climbed my ass to stop smoking. I'm down to half pack. It's tough....have yet to try patch. It's coming. I have to quit.....or I'll be just like my parents and grandparents. Break the chain....


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## TheGoodGuy

Chuck71 said:


> MMDLVI
> 
> 
> 
> Dr. finally climbed my ass to stop smoking. I'm down to half pack. It's tough....have yet to try patch. It's coming. I have to quit.....or I'll be just like my parents and grandparents. Break the chain....


You've got this Chuck. I quit about 5 years ago. I did it over the course of six months or so. Actually used one of the e-cig things to lower the nicotine level down gradually, and when I was down to 0 nicotine, I was able to just quit doing it altogether. It's not easy, but it's doable. Be strong, it's worth it.


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## farsidejunky

The hardest part about quitting is trying to do it 'cool turkey' rather than cold turkey.

When I finally quit for good in 2001, it was the 3rd or 4th time I had 'quit'.

All or nothing, brother. Then, when your mind starts trying to make deals with your body ('just one won't hurt') tell yourself "no".

That's a sad but nice update on EQ. Please tell her I said hello, brother. 

Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk


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## Chuck71

farsidejunky said:


> The hardest part about quitting is trying to do it 'cool turkey' rather than cold turkey.
> 
> When I finally quit for good in 2001, it was the 3rd or 4th time I had 'quit'.
> 
> All or nothing, brother. Then, when your mind starts trying to make deals with your body ('just one won't hurt') tell yourself "no".
> 
> That's a sad but nice update on EQ. Please tell her I said hello, brother.
> 
> Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk


I "tried" several times....sound familiar? I had a good "read" back in 2016 but all the crap with mom,

hell I was ready to pick up a few extra habits. Her last year made my DDay / D seem "comical"

Not quitting at my age now doesn't mean, look at the $ you're spending, you could quit, put $ back

and buy a nice baseball card set from the 1960s! It is not too far from life or death. I quit before but

that was 30 years ago. I'm not Danielson anymore...... well I may have to be one more time.

I will pass that along to EQ. Help on new nick....you know me and the nick-a-names LOL


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## Chuck71

TheGoodGuy said:


> You've got this Chuck. I quit about 5 years ago. I did it over the course of six months or so. Actually used one of the e-cig things to lower the nicotine level down gradually, and when I was down to 0 nicotine, I was able to just quit doing it altogether. It's not easy, but it's doable. Be strong, it's worth it.


Thanks!!! I started the vape due to no smoking at work. It cut back on the cancer sticks.

Then all the info came out about how bad it was. I stopped the vape. Only did that about six months.

Gum helps.....about to try patch. I think @ButtPunch used patch. And quit.

Somehow.....someway.....it has to stop. If not, I will follow in mom n pop, their parent's footsteps.

Again... pop's pop died at 51. Pop at 55. If I continue... what? 59? That is 12 years.....

We're wanting kids....kinda not a great habit to have huh?  I welcome challenges... well, I got one, that's for certain.


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## Chuck71

Double post, please remove


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## ButtPunch

Another key to quitting is do not be around it period.

Stay away from triggers also such as drinking. 

Never give up.


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## Chuck71

One thing I learned about my job is that higher-ups like to see how far they can "push" their employees. I worked at a place like this twenty years ago and it led me to return to school to obtain a masters in special education. At that time I was maybe in the 80/20% minority, being male. All of our immediate bosses back then were female. They would ride certain workers for no apparent reason. "Just to be doing it" and they tried it with all of us. My turn came and back then, I wasn't as CFD as I am now. But I knew what they were trying to pull. Let's just say they not once, tried to jack me around again. Fast forward....current place does the same thing.

One staff who made it clear she will be running five-ten minutes late because dropping child off at school and they were okay with, out of the blue wrote her up for being late. At current job, bosses are female. Employee ratio is maybe 75/25%. So it's almost the same deal as my job twenty years ago. One thing that is the same.... I love interacting with the clients. As EQ stated once after telling her about my humorous day with them -I don't know if you're there for the clients or if the clients are there for you- I can cut-up, act like a kid, make them laugh, and it's effortless for me. It's the type of job I would continue to do "if I won the lottery." The next attempted "hand smack" never came. Maybe my reaction to the first one was enough to let them know I don't put up with BS. I'm ready for the second whenever it comes.

But an example of how much the company "cares" about their employees...... As I was taking clients out of the mini-van one smacked my glasses off and damaged them. I reported it and the company was in agreement to replace them. This was over a week before Thanksgiving. The damage to my glasses makes it impossible for me to drive during the night when it is raining. I will not do it. Since they are dragging their asses at corporate I am having to call-in for the first part of my shift. They can't say anything because it is their fault my glasses are damaged and their fault they are dragging their asses to fix it. The # they gave me to corporate HR, voice mail and box is full. So I turned up the heat with my two female bosses. I ask them daily. They'll get tired of it eventually and get the ball rolling. If it is raining I will not leave my house until it is daybreak. And I will not work past sundown if it is raining. Why.... you know why and are doing nothing about it. I'm about done with these imbeciles but they will fix my God damn glasses. 

Not long after I completely switched to days with weekends off I applied for two management positions. I will touch on these at a later time.

I took off last year on the day of mom's passing. This year I thought I should try and go to work. EQ agreed when asked her thoughts. It was a nice day at work, very smooth. I am traveling home, looking forward to Thanksgiving leftovers and........... from out of nowhere a pinhead comes into my lane and knocks the shat outta me. In short there was a bunch of drama from the other driver, '92 S-10 three inside, none wearing seat belt and one was 10 y/o kid..... "Yeah....them's white trash" Since there were no witnesses (largest intersection in county!) they tried to lie, etc. At my work you are not allowed to use smartphones (I don't have one) and they frown if you have to use a company phone. So most of the leg-work was done by EQ. "We" faxed the police report to State Farm, "we" found out they did not have car insurance, "we" went by asking for footage of intersection. State Farm.... I lost a great deal of respect for you. After almost three weeks of BS....it was deemed the other person's fault and I did have uninsured motorist. No rental offering until 17 days after.... how gracious. Luckily I could use EQs car but that left her at home without wheels. It totaled out mom's car, on the anniversary of her death. Guess I should've taken off that day.....wouldn't have went through all this BS.

I had to get the belongings out of her car at the tow yard. I will never see that car again so yeah, I dropped a few. I was dreading State Farm would claim "no fault" to where I lose a vehicle in wreck not my fault. Isn't that nice to have happen! But they are finally going to bat for me. Large in part, due to EQ riding their asses. Kind of how I would have done for her if situation reversed. Calls me out when I'm not doing what I should. Yeah.... the version of me if I were not born a guy. 

Mom would have liked her. Her mom and mine, very similar. EQ has listened to my darkest stories of my childhood I never posted here. I've heard her worst stories about her family. We have each other's back. I'm older this time, I see it more. Sex only gels when the cornbread is made correctly. If not......the sex fills in the holes, momentarily. Not one headache or I'm tired in nearly three years. We got engaged but.....to me we already were. Again...I despise the government's interference. A M should not be government involvement but look at today's churches. 

Blood sugar year ago, 260. Later this year, 198. Last check, 133. A1C....8.2. Last check, 6.1. Diabetes....you will not win MF. You've wasted your time. 60 pounds dropped, the right way. Just two fastings and no re-gain. Never took drugs Dr. prescribed, Metaform?. I have a great deal of rage, controlled rage. Just lining up to who will get it first. Why the rage Chuck? Reactionary..... and it will be "re-directed" accordingly. 


Been grooving to some music from late-70s to early-80s. There was a band called Shooting Star who never got recognition they deserved.


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## FeministInPink

I'm so happy to hear all the good news at the end of your post!

The not so great stuff in the beginning/middle? That's everyday BS we all have to go through, and you're handling it well 

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## Chuck71

Heck of an upgrade on the platform.....I'm not in sync with it so maybe I will just post on my own thread. In a way..... that's what I have done for awhile anyway. Have a ton of updating to do. But in the meantime.....I bit off more than I could chew.

I always told the Hangover Crew that, "If gas ever.....ever went below $1/gallon, I would call up WC and tell her I still love her." Well..... as you see below I'm in deep shat!!!


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## Chuck71

Meant to post here several times but as we all know, life gets in the way. Still not used to this platform. Can't find things anymore. Question.... when I first came here, I of course went to the GTDoS section. Then after it's done, LaD. Okay.... what about when you get M? Do I have to wait 10 years to find a subgroup to post in??? Do I get kicked off the boards because I no longer fit in? Seriously.... where would one post?

As usual we've had to get back to back and swing punches at the world. I wouldn't say bad luck but more....bad timing on certain things. Most are usual things but... expensive things (home, cars, etc). Some others though.....We received a water bill for over $300 (typical bill is $25). They claimed it to be a tracking issue, meaning the meter was not working correctly. Okay then that's on you, it's your equipment. -As a water receiver you should always go check your meter to blah blah- Really! Where is that in the contract and where's my pay for 'working for you?' 'When was the training to know how to do this?' Here's the deal... water company.....one supplier in my area.....no competition.....monopoly. Can't fight City Hall.

I have contacted the TN Attorney General about this matter. We already went to commissioners meetings. EQ stirred it up enough to get our name and pic in the paper LOL Had no idea until people from work told me they saw my pic and article in paper. The BBB is involved too. The water company refused to go out and check the meter when we asked if it was a leak. Sho nuff'.... leak. Turned water off at meter, had company come fix. Put female adapter on backwards. Two days later we had enough water in our yard to open a theme park. Owner of company refuses to pay. BBB and small claims court. But if we win; which we would....we have video of the water and the guys who put it in wrong. Owner even admitted this in bill.....which we had to hound him to send. If we win, how do you collect from....a business?

Around that time, EQ was working. Oh.... EQ needs to be changed. No more epoxy. Has done pearls / settings for over a year. PG....pearl girl I guess. Anyhows... hot water heater burst. But through it all..... no backing down, no running.... never saw a female with the "eye of the tiger" until now. Quite impressed. Covid-19 messed up our M plans. Bothered her more than me.... to me we already are M, just need to notify the government. But all the M stuff is a girl thing and she wants it so I understand. Spats every now and then, typical.... but nothing is rugswept. Over three years and nothing under the rug.

Work is going....I typically have several co-workers who try to get me to get into the drama triangle. I refuse to pick sides nor participate. Then I get grief from both sides. All I do is start going over the third book of my trilogy and act out the characters verbally..... and they think I'm talking to myself and LOL they leave me alone. If they spent half the time in their work as they do their drama.......................... No love from me for this company. Bidding time...

Unfortunately I hate to say..... PGs mom has what my mom had.....dementia. My mom was taken by cancer so she did not diminish much.....or maybe she did and I wasn't around to see it due to her actions towards me 4-5 years ago. Actually she did but I had to step away from all the drama. Now PG is going through this. Luckily no cancer....and her mom is not being combative. But this could be a slow agonizing process. Maybe I was lucky mom went so swiftly......I have my thoughts each way.

I may just keep posting here with updates for us......seems meaningless yes but if someone read my story front to current.....yes there is something out there, after a D. Nearly 8 years of my life......... typed here.

PGs mom.......and how it afflicts her..... has really triggered me. I try to be there for her....whenever she needs..... I'm ready to finally talk a bit.....I'll drop a link here when I do.

Always say...... the true games don't begin until you're M. Picture Neo when he finally believed he could beat Mr. Smith.....the /c'mon try me/ with his hand. We shall see.....

After everything we both have went through......the actual and the aftermath...... it's about damn time for some of this.......


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## Chuck71

Had a post made back in the Fall but I never could find it. It was written one night on our "moon-honey." We called it that because we seem to do certain things backasswards. Our destination was Myrtle Beach, SC. Nice hotel....nothing high end. We lucked up and ran into some time-share cons. We knew the game going in, her dad had one decades back. We received $300 coupons for $69, plus a $25 Visa. We ate at three places. One was horrid, one was very nice and the other...... one of the best places I have ever ate at in my life. That place alone was well worth $69.

The weather was nice. Still warm days in late October. The nights weren't chilly at all. PG was swept up with looking for shark teeth while myself....well I reflect. It had been 15 years since I dipped my toes in the Atlantic. How so many things change. We're getting along very well. Almost at the four year mark. She lost her dog of 11 years back in the Fall. I had just started to get close with her. Her dog was very guarded and was not one to let others in. I took a day off work to take her to the vet and bury her in the back yard. Work was upset....."we can discuss this when I return to work tomorrow." Nothing ever said of it.

Boner...... if you've followed my thread you know him. The 2007 stray. He and his "wife" Bambi enjoy their forrays into the woods. This time she returned and he didn't. We heard him bark a few times but didn't know where he was. Bambi would not lead us to him this time. The neighbor's dog, Buddy, who has roamed the neighborhood since way back in the days of WC led us and the neighbor's teenage son to Boner. The neighbor's son reminds me a lot of myself as a teen.... sprinting through the woods in the dark with no fear. Boner fell into a foxhole and couldn't get out. Another day or two and he would have been gone.

The joy of finding him was short lived. Around a week later, Boner slipped into a pond and couldn't get out. Neighbors from over the hill pulled him out and wheeled him home because he lost the use of his hind legs. But Boner sure knew where home was. PG thanked the neighbors over the hill and called me at work. Boner couldn't move his hind legs, they were stiff. It just seemed too soon to lose the other dog. I prayed, gave him the Rocky speech and started him on preds.

Slowly he began to get around much better. All I asked is to have him through Christmas. He is still here today. His legs never fully recovered but he does get around as he needs. He's on borrowed time and I dread the day when it comes. I really didn't know how close PG and Boner was...... that's what happens when you spent so much of your life at work. Speaking of work.........

They had me go to the residence of clients I was very familiar with back in December. Knowing......full well........ Covid hit that house. ALL the clients got it, all the staff did....I was the last to get it. I felt a bit sluggish for a week or so but nothing worse than a minor cold. When I finally got tested, I had it. I stayed out of work, per work's request. I was able to see my first ever Christmas Eve snowfall. PG got it as well..... also nothing worse than minor cold.

In mid-January 2020..... most of the staff at work were dropping like flies with something. Everyone was out at least a week. I got it.....then PG. Personally I think that was the C-19. But that could be up for debate.


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## Chuck71

It's hard to believe I have had this thread for almost five years. I recall how hard it was in the beginning with my late mother and her decline. I always said I wanted to start a thread about my childhood and my parents, in addition to the loss I felt after their death. I meant to start that thread, but something always held me back. Maybe I wasn't ready.

One thing PG would say was I had it harder growing up than she did. I always thought the same about her. With analysis over a period of time, I have to admit, she was more right than me. I want to get those things out but.... I don't know. Sometimes I feel she could better describe my childhood, than me. I do admit..... no one can come within a country mile of PG when it comes to communicating. We have unlocked everything.

I do feel it is an appropriate time to close out this thread. It doesn't feel right to continue posting in LaD when you are M. We planned to in '20 but thanks to C-19, that just wrenched all our plans. But we did tie the knot a couple months back. SMALL ceremony.... we just let the government know. We were already M, in my book for at least a year. So on my final post.... I will leave on a sad note.

Boner..... the 2007 stray...who came back home in 2013 when I gave him and two others away to a guy 17 miles away. He was a casualty of war with my XWs animal attachments. But I will give credit when it is due..... XW did talk me into adopting Ty in 2002 and he was a great dog until he disappeared one day in early 2015. She talked me into Boner in 2007. I regret to say, Boner is no longer here.

PG went to visit her parents and I was off work. Boner could move around but not as he had before. He was still happy, had bursts of energy but often he stayed inside in the adjacent room. He rested good that day.... I even picked up his fav... chicken livers. One for him, one for his wife, Bambi. I resisted on letting him out until near sundown. His reaction time was slowed and he was very hard of hearing. Wait until it gets later when less traffic is on the road. BTW... we live on a quiet residential road. When I let him out, I gave him the livers and twisted my ankle in the garage. I limped back in and just rested it.

Then I get a message from my W that he was hit. The car sped away after hitting him. The following car carried him to the front door and I hobbled to him. He was hurting but the extent of the injuries was unknown. W came back early from her parents. As time passed it was understood that Boner's nine lives had run its course. I had never put a dog down myself, always used a vet. Boner was in much pain and it would be a bad decision to move him much, in addition to the 15 miles ride to the vet. He was in immense pain.

I carried him to the front yard. I told him how much I loved him and how much I hated doing what I was about to do. He yelped after the gun fired. PG had mentioned awhile back about getting a puppy since hers passed. I stated it was not the right time because we were having to care for Boner. Then she asked me after Boner's death. "I can't see getting another dog until I get the picture out of my head.....the smoke coming from his head when the bullet killed him."

When it comes to killing for food / survival....I have no problem. Well... this time it wasn't.


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## Tron

So sorry Chuck. That must have been very difficult.

Congrats on the marriage. May it be your forever marriage this time!


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