# need advice part 2



## losinghope27 (Nov 12, 2011)

I posted yesterday and didn't get many replies or help. I was just wondering if someone could help me out today? My husband moved out this past Thursday and we haven't talked since friday afternoon when he told me he didn't like me. I haven't called him and he hasn't called me. I'm 3 mths pregnant and very emotional I have done nothing but cried for the last couple of days and took sleeping pills to not worry about my current situation. I think he moved out basically because I argue everday and I don't trust him and its constant chaos. I just want to know should I call him today? I really miss him. My sister spoke with him last night and he told her he was coming back home I just need to cool off. Is this a good sign? Should I call or continue to guess?


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## blissful (Nov 14, 2011)

hi, obviously there are things that both of u r doing wrong if u both r arguing all the time. it takes 2 people to argue. even if u r nagging, he would need to do something that triggers that off. now i am NOT saying that he is completely wrong & that u r the innocent victim, but i am saying that it looks like u r taking ALL the blame on yourself- almost like a "quick fix"'. yes i was wrong, yes i shouldn't nag, yes i'm sorry, so let's brush this under the carpet & move forward. meanwhile the underlying problem/s r still there & will resurface the next time he leaves toilet seat up or doesn't answer his phone etc. it's good that u feel u have identified the problems- is this from your own assessment of the situation, or did u get professional help? the way it seems to me u have to both get help so that u learn how to deal with your trust issues & he learns what triggers your feelings of abondonment etc. so that u can both avoid getting into a vicious cycle. also, u guys have kids. that's HUGE. as adults we choose to have children- God doesn't force them on us. if we chose to engage in sexual activities, then we chose to accept the possible consequences of that ie. having kids. that means that we need to be the best parent we can be, because those kids didn't CHOOSE to come into the world. You & hubby need to realise that your 1st commitment is to your kids, for them to grow up in a happy healthy environment, not in a home of constant bickering & arguing. obviously every1 has their problems, but identifying yours & trying to solve them is the 1st step. That being said, maybe your husband coming back home immediately isn't the solution, perhaps u both need time apart to get some perspective on the issue/s. i would seriously suggest that u both sit down with someone independant & work through your problems, instead of a "quick fix" move back into the house, i'm sorry baby i won't happen again & hey presto everything is fixed. you shouldn't give up hope, because the fact that u r able to acknowledge that there r problems is the biggest step forward in trying to fix those problems. i hope this was of some help.


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## OliveAdventure (Nov 23, 2011)

What are you nagging about? F and I had an incredible relationship, until I got pregnant.. 

Then, his sniffling would piss me off. His snoring would send me running.. ANY little thing he did (keeping the tap running) would make me want to nag him. So I did. 

Turns out, sometimes you need to have them run to see how much you love them. In the end, are the things he is doing affecting you or hurting you personally? Are the things he is doing that are pissing you off things you can walk away from? 

I stopped pointing out everything he was doing and making him feel like nothing.. Our relationship is 100% better.

I don't believe the fighting was all my fault - But I sure created a lot of it


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