# Trust - asking from a woman's perspective



## Wondertalk (Jan 29, 2010)

This is a question about trust. I originally posted in the general discussion but I was hoping for a woman's perspective. 
My wife and I are separating at the end of the month after 11 years. She recently went on a business trip for a week. After returning, I went to do laundry and found extremely revealing lingerie in her pocket, a couple of small notes with suggestive sex game comments in another pair of jeans, a sex book with pages marked and some other odd inconsistencies. 
After looking at all these things and the fact there was a guy's phone number (only first name listed) in her cell phone, I asked her did she meet up with someone while away? She denied, became furious I would suggest she would cheat on me. I quoted the number to her without the name and she shrugged her shoulders. She denied everything. She said trust between us is everything while we go through this stage. I would like to believe her but I think I am being played. Am I expecting too much honesty?


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## Marinewifey (Feb 3, 2010)

to be completely honests with you comming from my husband and i we feel like after all those things you found with the number in her phone your definiatly not getting the truth did she ever tell you what the business trip was for?? and how far in advance did she inform you of it?? another thing is were you two already agreed to seperate on the 11th before she went??


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

The INSTANT a woman engages in an affair, she becomes James Bond. You are no longer dealing with your old wife. You now are dealing with a drug addict - determined to protect her 'fix' at all costs, even if it means throwing away 50 years of her life. 

Install a keylogger on her computer. Print out the phone/text records. Hire a PI if you have to. You will never have a marriage again until you STOP this affair and break her free from this addiction.


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## Mal74 (Dec 24, 2009)

The evidence you found strongly suggests that she had sex with someone else while away. It is all circumstantial evidence but there may be phyiscal evidence in her underwear, and you could have it analyzed if you wanted to go to the trouble.

Would you?

This sounds like a horribly painful situation and I am sorry to hear it. If you are separating at the end of the month, then I suppose the only thing to do is to grit your teeth and know that soon you will be onto the next chapter of your life. 

There is obviously no "proof" here that would likely hold up in a court of law, right? I mean, some lawyer could plant enough "reasonable doubt" in a jury's mind to sway them. That said it certainly seems entirely evident that your wife had sex with someone else. The items you found speak for themselves. 

People lie all the time. They just do. I am very sorry for your pain.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

> She denied, became furious I would suggest she would cheat on me.


They ALWAYS become furious and indignant -until you supply proof.


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