# 3 things you like about your spouse?



## Pinkas (Nov 15, 2012)

Can you list them? I asked my husband this question in a joking way. He didn’t respond. I asked one more time and he said I was being annoying. I can’t think of the last time he has given me a compliment. He’s nice when he wants sex. Is it really that hard for a man to think of three things? I’m just so bummed. I can’t ask him to help around the house because it’s annoying. We can’t watch a show together because my shows are stupid. I just want to feel as if he enjoys my company. 

I think of him often. During my work day, I wish I could pick up the phone and tell him about my day (whether it be good or bad), but that’s annoying too. He never asks about my day when I get home. I wish he cared 

It’s almost our 18th wedding anniversary and I know we won’t do anything special because if I want to do something, I have to plan it all and he’s so picky about his food, we’ll probably end up at Red Robin or some other chain restaurant like that. Forget the fact that I love Italian and Chinese food, but because he doesn’t like it, I haven’t been out for food I like in ages. It always about him and when I try to do something I like, I’m annoying, dumb, or stupid.  




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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Pinkas said:


> Can you list them? I asked my husband this question in a joking way. He didn’t respond. I asked one more time and he said I was being annoying. I can’t think of the last time he has given me a compliment. He’s nice when he wants sex. Is it really that hard for a man to think of three things? I’m just so bummed. I can’t ask him to help around the house because it’s annoying. We can’t watch a show together because my shows are stupid. I just want to feel as if he enjoys my company.
> 
> I think of him often. During my work day, I wish I could pick up the phone and tell him about my day (whether it be good or bad), but that’s annoying too. He never asks about my day when I get home. I wish he cared
> 
> ...


So how are you going to effectively comunicate to him that your unhappy ?

I know wait and hope the light bulb goes of because you ask him name some things you like about me!


I think your going to have to use the 2x4 method.

On your anniversary if he don't plan something or get you something special.

Then get a dolled up and go out and get whatever food you like.if he asks what your doing say.

I'm going out to get dinner. By myself because my husband is to lazy to ever show his wife that he loves her.

When you come home tell him your going to marriage counseling with or with out him. That you feel like your growing apart. And if he wants to save this marriage he better pull his head out of............the sand.>

Your ripe for an affaire. Some sauve guy telling you what you want to here and bang happens all the time!

If you give him a chance and he acts indifferent then you have a tough choice.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Well he sounds like a ball of fun and intrigue. 

Some guys don’t have the romance gene, BUT they are cool with doing the romantic things if they are set up (by you). If he is that way, consider booking and doing what YOU would pick for your 18th anniversary. Book that trip to Hawaii...Don’t stand by and wait for someone else to make it happen. Seek out joy, and invite him to join you in the search.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Pinkas said:


> Can you list them? I asked my husband this question in a joking way. He didn’t respond. I asked one more time and he said I was being annoying. I can’t think of the last time he has given me a compliment. He’s nice when he wants sex. Is it really that hard for a man to think of three things? I’m just so bummed. I can’t ask him to help around the house because it’s annoying. We can’t watch a show together because my shows are stupid. I just want to feel as if he enjoys my company.
> 
> I think of him often. During my work day, I wish I could pick up the phone and tell him about my day (whether it be good or bad), but that’s annoying too. He never asks about my day when I get home. I wish he cared
> 
> ...


You need to start doing things for yourself and asking your husband if he wants to come along.Do not say you would like to go out to dinner,tell him you are going to a Chinese or Italian restaurant and would he like to come.But you go anyway whether he joins you or not.
Do the same thing with outings,ask him ONCE would he like to join you and you go on your own if he refuses.
When you are going out without him do not make a fuss and do not text or call him during this time,if he wants to contact you let him but make it clear you are not hanging around waiting on him.
When you are watching your shows do not change the channel because he thinks it’s stupid,let him go to another room or watch it with you.
Learn how to tell him to **** off,it’s a very useful phrase.


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## FalCod (Dec 6, 2017)

That's very sad. At least you are conscious of the problem and can work on it. Talk to him about more. Ask for his help. Ask him to make suggestions. Be a little patient while he sorts it out. People get stressed. They get into ruts. Sometimes they have to work to find a way out. Look for opportunities to bridge the gap. Are their shows of his that you can watch? Is there something he wants to do that you can join him on. Maybe you could compromise on something like going camping with him for a couple of nights and then sharing a room at a romantic hotel at the end of the trip. I have no idea what the right answer is, but just searching for the answer together might be what you need.

As for the three things I love about my spouse, I could write a book. I did. A couple of years ago, I pointed out to my wife that she was parking too close to the center of the driveway and too far forward, that made it harder for me to get out in the morning. As I said that to her, I worried that all those times I say "I love you" probably lose their impact but every little criticism is something new and fresh and that over time, I worried that she would lose sight of the fact that I absolutely adore her and start to think that I was always nagging her. 

I decided that the best way to deal with that was to find new ways to say "I love you" so that they would always feel fresh. One way that I did that was to secretly start a journal. Every day until I filled the journal (about 9 months), I wrote an entry about our love. On some days, I wrote about things we'd done together for which I have memories that I still cherish. On some days, I wrote about dreams for our future together. On a lot of days, I wrote about things about her that I love. Each day was different, but they were all ways of telling her how much I love her. I finished it right before our anniversary and gave it to her as an anniversary gift. 

I'm not done. I still search for ways to tell her and show her that I love her and that marrying her was the best thing I ever did. I think it is important. It's easy for people to drift apart if they don't keep working to get closer. You see that, which is half the battle. Now you and your husband need to find ways to do it.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Ask him....

Whisper in his ear, one loving hand on his butt.

What are the three things you like about me?

Never removing the hand, the lightly caressing fingers.

If he does not speak, listen to his hands and his lips.

The Typist-


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

>Her ass,her tits and of course her *****!>


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

Her big heart, her warm and caring personality, and her motherly instincts. I could go on and on.

Sounds like your husband is a little on the lazy side. Voice your concerns. Make him up his game.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

He's obviously very upset with you. Unhappy.

It does not mean it is your fault!

It might be, but it absolutely does not mean it is. He may have expectations of you which he has never voiced and/or are simply totally unrealistic. 

He's sitting there thinking of some porn starlets climbing all over him and you dare to break into his reverie? He wants a young babe serving him exotic food with her huge mammaries plopped in the tray, and you break into his fog. He's thinking about that hot humber at work, and you insist on talking about your work day?

Any guy who can't come up with three things to love about you is really angry with you about something.


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## Maxwedge 413 (Apr 16, 2014)

I bet he can name 3 things he likes about his car. Or his TV. Or his golf clubs. Or the guy he buys his paper from.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Pinkas said:


> Can you list them? I asked my husband this question in a joking way. He didn’t respond. I asked one more time and *he said I was being annoying*. I can’t think of the last time he has given me a compliment. He’s nice when he wants sex. Is it really that hard for a man to think of three things? I’m just so bummed. I can’t ask him to help around the house because *it’s annoying.* We can’t watch a show together because *my shows are stupid.* I just want to feel as if he enjoys my company.
> 
> I think of him often. During my work day, I wish I could pick up the phone and tell him about my day (whether it be good or bad), but *that’s annoying too*. He never asks about my day when I get home.* I wish he cared
> 
> ...


Okay, I'll bite and assume this post is authentic. Frankly, I have trouble believing that a woman, married for 18 years, hasn't ditched an ass like this, but to each his own. I've bolded what stood out in your post. His opinion boils down to you being annoying, dumb, and/or stupid. Are those his exact words? 

Regardless, my question for you is this: Why are you taking this crap from him? And, even more importantly, why have you traded in your status as a human being for a doormat?

P.S. - Wishing and hoping for someone to care and change doesn't work. Wishes are for fairytales. You are not living in a fairytale. Far from it. Sounds more like a nightmare to me.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

1. Income
2. Income
3. She moved out


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

His easy going laid back personality. 
His integrity. 
His patience.


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## Holdingontoit (Mar 7, 2012)

Her competence.
Her smile.
The way she treats our kids.

I can also name something I do not like. The way OP's husband treated OP when she asked the question. No, don't like his reaction at all.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Her naked ass.
Her ass in jeans.
Her ass in yoga pants.


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

Andy1001 said:


> Her naked ass.
> Her ass in jeans.
> Her ass in yoga pants.


I missed that you got married! I thought she is your girlfriend and the mother of your child. 

Belated congratulations on the wedding!


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

1. His patience with people, especially our children and I.
2. His commitment to being an authentic man and a better father and husband. 
3. His dedication to being a good provider. 
(4. He is a great, loving lover who always puts me first.)
(5. He is fit, tall, very handsome, masculine and dignified.)


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

1) That I still find her sex after nearly 30 years
2) Her intelligence
3) Her willingness to help others


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## VibrantWings (Sep 8, 2017)

Perhaps ask him again when he tries to **** you....since that's the only time he can be nice.

To be honest, reading your post made me glad again I'm divorced. :banghead: 

Back to the present:

What I like about the guy I shack up with now:

He holds the door open for me

He pumps gas for me

He often times has dinner waiting for me when I get home from work.


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## Roselyn (Sep 19, 2010)

Still hot & sexy at 62.
Romantic & attentive.
Does chores & repairs house & cars.

To add, he has his own income w/ inheritance.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

This is such a sad post. I hate to see a spouse be so unappreciated. Perhaps you should consider marriage counseling? Has he always been this way?

As for me, I love just about everything about my wife. We've been married for 22 years, and I love her more each passing year. If I were to pick just three things:

1) I love how she looks
2) I love how she acts/thinks
3) I love how she loves me

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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

Just 3? 

She's stunning.
She's hilarious.
She's the best mother.


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## Lukedog (Nov 18, 2015)

Insightful post and comments! 

Three things?? I can't name one....


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## haveandhold (Jan 15, 2018)

Pinkas said:


> Can you list them?


Ok, this sounds fun...

1) She is very forgiving
2) I am still attracted to her
3) We have fun!


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## shaillythomas (Jan 12, 2018)

men will be men
they will never told this


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## JayDee7 (Sep 12, 2017)

Only 3 things? Okay 
1. She gives all of her energy toward me and the children and our home before she thinks of herself
2. She is my best friend and a lot of fun 
3. She is beautiful and keeps herself up for me and for herself, which encourages me to do the same, to me she is just as sexy and beautiful at 40 as she was when I met her at 20, I am crazy about her.


OP your post was really sad to read. Some men just do not take the lead and take care of their wife’s needs.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> 1) That I still find her sex after nearly 30 years


I presume in that time it hasn't moved around enough to be difficult to locate?


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## Maxwedge 413 (Apr 16, 2014)

Cletus said:


> I presume in that time it hasn't moved around enough to be difficult to locate?


He just rolls her in flour first.


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## Steve2.0 (Dec 11, 2017)

I acted like your husband for a long while. I had pretty odd expectations of my wife (looking back)

I stopped trying to change her with passive/aggressive behavior and hidden contracts and one day just decided to make myself happy... Thats when I actually started to fix and improve my marriage because i started to take a more proactive role in planning dates and being attentive to her. 

Unfortunately, i had to come to that conclusion to BE the change i wanted.... I am not sure you can force your husband to 'awake' to this problem.

He might be sexually frustrated and not realize the rabbit hole he has dug himself into


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Cletus said:


> I presume in that time it hasn't moved around enough to be difficult to locate?


It's all in the same place/s.


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