# New the Group



## Reclaimmylife (Feb 12, 2021)

I am so looking forward to read how I can reclaim me back to what I know as reality. I have been married for 25 years and I must say my marriage was wonderful up until the last 8 years. It has been a nightmare and I've stayed hoping and praying that things change but they are getting worse. Its getting so bad that my husband drinks for breakfast lunch and dinner and he says things that I would not say to my worst enemy. I'm called names, he has pulled a gun out on me and he has wished death on me. I came from a 2 parent household and I thought I had laid a foundation that we would be married forever. We have achieved so much together, houses, businesses, financial stability but my husband has changed . He drinks so much and listen to others who are stuck now he is stuck. He doesn't want to grow our business and he is constantly finding fault in what I do. I have moved out the bedroom because I am no longer emotional connected to him because he does not treat me like a woman. If he would just treat me with respect I would be in the bed with him but how do you lay up with a man that calls you *****es on a daily basis or tells people in the street you aint **** when you have been the one who has been holding the home down along with the business.. I am tortured everyday and told to get the **** out his house daily when it is clearly both of our house that we built together with my money. I just dont understand why I am so stupid to still be in this relationship putting up with the stress. and to top it off I have a auto immune disease which he mocks me at times when he is drunk. At this point I am just tired, tired of his bipolar ways and him thinking he has done nothing wrong .Its me!. .


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Firstly if a man pulls a gun on you and wished death on you, you need to tell the police and then seperate. 
What happened 8 years ago?


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## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

Better force him to go to an AA meeting- worked wonders for my dad. Sorry you’re going through this.


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## Imagirl (Aug 17, 2020)

Spend the time you're posting here to start the separation process. I can relate to a lot of what you said here, I know how it feels to be treated like garbage, to be heartbroken that your kids will live in a broken family. But I finally had enough, the kids are doing great and I have a boyfriend who has never raised his voice to me or called me anything horrible. Move on and start growing your life. Remember, you don't only teach your children that families are worth the work to stay together (which they are), but also that people deserve respect and there comes s time ro walk away from negative treatment. You only have one life.


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## Reclaimmylife (Feb 12, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> Firstly if a man pulls a gun on you and wished death on you, you need to tell the police and then seperate.
> What happened 8 years ago?


You are correct but 8 years ago I was diagnosed with an auto immune disease. I have finally come to terms with my illness and realize that I value me . So I know what I need to do I just have to do it..


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## Reclaimmylife (Feb 12, 2021)

[QUOTE="CatholicDad, post: 20250953, member: 30That is not an option for him he thinks if he drinks he will live a long life. He actually thinks this crap smh


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## Reclaimmylife (Feb 12, 2021)

Imagirl said:


> Spend the time you're posting here to start the separation process. I can relate to a lot of what you said here, I know how it feels to be treated like garbage, to be heartbroken that your kids will live in a broken family. But I finally had enough, the kids are doing great and I have a boyfriend who has never raised his voice to me or called me anything horrible. Move on and start growing your life. Remember, you don't only teach your children that families are worth the work to stay together (which they are), but also that people deserve respect and there comes s time ro walk away from negative treatment. You only have one life.


seperation process is in order! . So I've spent my time getting my affairs in order I just know its going to be a long process. I felt like this would be a good outlet until I can get through this mess. Everyday is a struggle he comes home drunk and takes his anger out on me by yelling and screaming trying to pick an argument. I know my worth its just a waiting period now. Im just thankful the kids are gone and grown and they did not have to see their dad like this. He is a sick person.


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## FarmTownGirl (Feb 18, 2021)

Reclaimmylife said:


> I am so looking forward to read how I can reclaim me back to what I know as reality. I have been married for 25 years and I must say my marriage was wonderful up until the last 8 years. It has been a nightmare and I've stayed hoping and praying that things change but they are getting worse. Its getting so bad that my husband drinks for breakfast lunch and dinner and he says things that I would not say to my worst enemy. I'm called names, he has pulled a gun out on me and he has wished death on me. I came from a 2 parent household and I thought I had laid a foundation that we would be married forever. We have achieved so much together, houses, businesses, financial stability but my husband has changed . He drinks so much and listen to others who are stuck now he is stuck. He doesn't want to grow our business and he is constantly finding fault in what I do. I have moved out the bedroom because I am no longer emotional connected to him because he does not treat me like a woman. If he would just treat me with respect I would be in the bed with him but how do you lay up with a man that calls you ***es on a daily basis or tells people in the street you aint ** when you have been the one who has been holding the home down along with the business.. I am tortured everyday and told to get the **** out his house daily when it is clearly both of our house that we built together with my money. I just dont understand why I am so stupid to still be in this relationship putting up with the stress. and to top it off I have a auto immune disease which he mocks me at times when he is drunk. At this point I am just tired, tired of his bipolar ways and him thinking he has done nothing wrong .Its me!. .


So sorry for your circumstances. Some of your husband's contempt for you probably comes from his own self loathing. But not matter the reason, you need to get away. Being in a toxic relationship like you are can cause all kinds of health issues with auto immune right at the top of the list. Even if you had the autoimmune issues before, being trapped with this man will make you worse. you owe it to yourself and your children to not let this continue. find a good lawyer and figure out your options then execute them. Once you are physically away from him and the barrage of abuse you will be able to see more clearly. You can't think straight living with someone who treats you like that.

Also - I recommend you search "gas lighting" and "narcissism" on the internet. It sounds like that's what you're dealing with. There are some great youtube videos that you may be able to relate to. That will also help you begin to see clearly.


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