# husband left but we're working on things



## nataliology (Jan 6, 2012)

Hi Everyone, 

Thanks for taking the time to read this and offer advise/support. My husband of 2.5 years left on December 11th. We've had an emotionally rocky start to our marriage and we both ended up unhappy. We've taken this time however to realize we still love each other and don't want to take our vows lightly so we're trying to work on things. 

A week before we married he lost his job. He grew depressed and shut me out emotionally. 

Our crippled finances and lack of emotional support made me withdrawl as well, but we went through the emotions. 

Then last year we discovered we were unable to conceive. As you can guess, after 8 months of testing and drugs, we grew farther apart. 

We allowed bad behavior (turning away when he goes to kiss me after we hug, or him shutting me out verbally) become normal habits. We were both unhappy. 

Our catalyst was a financial fight and the result was him leaving. 

We decided that to work on things, we'd see each other 2 nights a week. 

We have. Each time we've grown closer both emotional and physically though no intamacy per se. I suggested today that we spend 3 nights next week and he got cold and shut the idea down right away. He stated that we are "working on our marraige" and for me not to rush him. I was completely heartbroken by the rejection. He further shared that he just had this nagging feeling that things aren't going to work out. 

Well, I understand that. We've allowed each other to shut the other one out for 2.5 years. I get the nagging feeling too, buthow will we know if we don't give each other the chance? How can you say we're working on our marriage when I really feel like all we're doing is playing house for 2 days each week. 

I don't want to rush him, but at the same time, I feel like we should at least talk about progressing. When he first left we weren't even able to hug each other really. We've grown since then and lovingly hold each other during our visits and kiss again like we use to. It's not until I suggest we continue moving forward that he regresses. 

Should I be ok with just working on things 2 days a week? I do see improvements in our actions/emotions/and overal communication.


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