# My boyfriend keeps staring at girls in front of me



## palevampire8686 (Jul 2, 2020)

He (33m) keeps staring at them in front of me (22f). At the beginning it was more intense, like he would turn his head to check out the girl. Now, it's less intense because I told him to stop, but he keeps doing it sometimes. He told me he has sexual desires for them, like he wants to have sex with them. What I understood from what he is saying to me is that he has an interest for them. I know it's ok to notice attractive people, but when it's staring and gawking, also in front of me, it's disrespectful. 

It's like it's hard for him to stop. I think it's a habit or because he follows sexy girls and porn on the internet. Wich I have no problem with. But staring at girls all the time.. this type of behavior I would never accept it. I just think I look like an idiot when I'm holding hands with him and he stares at other girls. Even one time I was with him and one of his friends and he asked in front of me if he could see pictures of his friend's ex naked. 

I don't know what to do.. should I accept it and move on or just leave him?

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## nypsychnurse (Jan 13, 2019)

palevampire8686 said:


> I know it's ok to notice attractive people, but when it's staring and gawking, also in front of me, it's disrespectful.


Absolutely



palevampire8686 said:


> It's like it's hard for him to stop. I think it's a habit or because he follows sexy girls and porn on the internet. Wich I have no problem with. But staring at girls all the time.. this type of behavior I would never accept it. I just think I look like an idiot when I'm holding hands with him and he stares at other girls. Even one time I was with him and one of his friends and he asked in front of me if he could see pictures of his friend's ex naked.


Yuck!



palevampire8686 said:


> I don't know what to do.. should I accept it and move on or just leave him?


Why would you accept this bevavior?



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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Your boyfriend has two problems. One, he is being very disrespectful to you and doesn't seem to care; and two, he's objectifying women, so he's just not a good boyfriend. He's not thinking of anything but his you know what and thinks that's just fine. It's the disrespect that is very alarming. It's going to carry over into everything. He is what he is, and that's uncaring and disrespectful of you and other women.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

He's 33, you're 22, it's likely he is purposefully going to do whatever he wants in this respect, and in as many things with you as he can because he has no intention of a ltr with you.

He'll ride this relationship as long as he can without any real commitment. 

If by a small chance he wants to pursue a ltr, you already answering your own internal question; is this guy a keeper.

No, is what you're thinking, and everyone agrees with you.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

palevampire8686 said:


> He (33m) keeps staring at them in front of me (22f). At the beginning it was more intense, like he would turn his head to check out the girl. Now, it's less intense because I told him to stop, but he keeps doing it sometimes. He told me he has sexual desires for them, like he wants to have sex with them. What I understood from what he is saying to me is that he has an interest for them. I know it's ok to notice attractive people, but when it's staring and gawking, also in front of me, it's disrespectful.
> 
> It's like it's hard for him to stop. I think it's a habit or because he follows sexy girls and porn on the internet. Wich I have no problem with. But staring at girls all the time.. this type of behavior I would never accept it. I just think I look like an idiot when I'm holding hands with him and he stares at other girls. Even one time I was with him and one of his friends and he asked in front of me if he could see pictures of his friend's ex naked.
> 
> ...


Move on. He will forever be mentally chasing women. It is only a matter of time before the decides to try to catch one. Also the 12 year age difference is probably him just ego stroking himself that he can get a young chick. Don't waste your time with this one. There are more fish in the sea and plenty that aren't this disrespectful.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Gross. He sounds like a pig. You can do a lot better.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Sometimes, asking someone to do / not do something makes them want to do the opposite even more. Don't waste your breath.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

he Is a poor choice in men. 

The fact that a 33 year old man is with a 22 year old woman is so that he can manipulate and control her and get away with stuff no 30 year woman would tolerate. 

The reason he is dating you in the first place is not because you are younger and skinnier and cuter than women his age - it is because he knows women his age are tired of the crap and won’t put up with his bad behavior. 

There is a good reason he is still single and getting with young girls more than a decade younger than him - He simply isn’t good BF/husband/partner material. 

You’ll learn that yourself shortly (hopefully before you have kids or buy a house with him) and you yourself will learn to spot bad men a mile away through the fog in the dark.


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## vincent3 (May 31, 2018)

I don't mean to minimize the problem you're having, but it's odd that you'd come to a marriage forum about a problem with a boyfriend. It's not a question of saving a marriage or getting a divorce. He's just a boyfriend. His behavior is obviously a deal breaker for any kind of emotionally satisfying relationship, so just end it.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

vincent3 said:


> I don't mean to minimize the problem you're having, but it's odd that you'd come to a marriage forum about a problem with a boyfriend. It's not a question of saving a marriage or getting a divorce. He's just a boyfriend. His behavior is obviously a deal breaker for any kind of emotionally satisfying relationship, so just end it.


Well, alot of unmarried people come here to talk about their RELATIONSHIPS...and that's perfectly fine. Some people never want to legally "marry", but their relationships are just as important to them (or more so) than other married people's are, so they should always be welcome. 

I, for one, am happy to help anyone with their relationship, especially young people who haven't married yet!


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

palevampire8686 said:


> He (33m) keeps staring at them in front of me (22f). At the beginning it was more intense, like he would turn his head to check out the girl. Now, it's less intense because I told him to stop, but he keeps doing it sometimes. He told me he has sexual desires for them, like he wants to have sex with them. What I understood from what he is saying to me is that he has an interest for them. I know it's ok to notice attractive people, but when it's staring and gawking, also in front of me, it's disrespectful.
> 
> It's like it's hard for him to stop. I think it's a habit or because he follows sexy girls and porn on the internet. Wich I have no problem with. But staring at girls all the time.. this type of behavior I would never accept it. I just think I look like an idiot when I'm holding hands with him and he stares at other girls. Even one time I was with him and one of his friends and he asked in front of me if he could see pictures of his friend's ex naked.
> 
> ...


I wouldn't stay with a man like this...he isn't valuing YOU, and I'm not sure if he even values women if he gawks at them in such a disrespectul way. Most women don't like being stared at by a man who is with another woman, it makes them uncomfortable and it makes HIM look sleazy.
You are SO young, and you deserve SO much better than how he is treating you. Let him go and find a man who only wants to stare at YOU!


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

@palevampire8686  Your boyfriend is 33. But in his mind he will forever be a teenage boy.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

I’m going to come at this from a completely different angle. 
Plenty of posters have mentioned the age difference but your obviously okay with that so we’ll leave it there. 
If you’re determined to keep this guy (And frankly I fail to see the attraction) then you need to play him at his own game. I don’t mean for you to stare at men like he stares at women, I mean for you to stare at the women when he’s doing it and maybe even mention how attractive they are and how “some lucky *young *guy is nailing her”.
In fact I would point out women to him and ask him does he think they’re hot and tell him you’re imagining how hot her boyfriend must be. 
He will either get the hint or he’s going to walk. Either way it’s a win for you.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Andy1001 said:


> I’m going to come at this from a completely different angle.
> Plenty of posters have mentioned the age difference but your obviously okay with that so we’ll leave it there.
> If you’re determined to keep this guy (And frankly I fail to see the attraction) then you need to play him at his own game. I don’t mean for you to stare at men like he stares at women, I mean for you to stare at the women when he’s doing it and maybe even mention how attractive they are and how “some lucky *young *guy is nailing her”.
> In fact I would point out women to him and ask him does he think they’re hot and tell him you’re imagining how hot her boyfriend must be.
> He will either get the hint or he’s going to walk. Either way it’s a win for you.


That might make a cute Rebel Wilson rom-com movie, but why play games. 

She’s 22 and about the the height of her sexual market value. She could replace him with a better man in an afternoon. 

Why play games to keep a dud when she can simply move on to someone better?


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Leave.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

oldshirt said:


> That might make a cute Rebel Wilson rom-com movie, but why play games.
> 
> She’s 22 and about the the height of her sexual market value. She could replace him with a better man in an afternoon.
> 
> Why play games to keep a dud when she can simply move on to someone better?


But where’s the fun in that?


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

palevampire8686 said:


> He (33m) keeps staring at them in front of me (22f). At the beginning it was more intense, like he would turn his head to check out the girl. Now, it's less intense because I told him to stop, but he keeps doing it sometimes. He told me he has sexual desires for them, like he wants to have sex with them. What I understood from what he is saying to me is that he has an interest for them. I know it's ok to notice attractive people, but when it's staring and gawking, also in front of me, it's disrespectful.
> 
> It's like it's hard for him to stop. I think it's a habit or because he follows sexy girls and porn on the internet. Wich I have no problem with. But staring at girls all the time.. this type of behavior I would never accept it. I just think I look like an idiot when I'm holding hands with him and he stares at other girls. Even one time I was with him and one of his friends and he asked in front of me if he could see pictures of his friend's ex naked.
> 
> ...



Darling, I have a daughter a little older than you. If she told me this about her BF, I would tell her to dump him immediately. You are worth so much more than this treatment and behaviour.
Your BF sounds creepy and a bit of a pervert! How long has he been your bf? It is also incredibly disrespectful to you. You shouldn't put up with this. If there are no boundaries now, it will only get worse. You can do much better for yourself than this!


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## faithfulman (Jun 4, 2018)

What's good for the goose is good for the gander.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

I vote to dump him.


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## StarFires (Feb 27, 2018)

You should have more respect or yourself than putting up with behavior like this from some guy you call your boyfriend. Since you don't respect yourself, then he doesn't respect you either. This is not the kind of thing you should be asking a public forum about because you should know what to do out of respect for yourself. Respecting yourself means setting standards for the men you date. Determine what you will and will not tolerate and then walk away when a guy shows you disrespect because him disrespecting you is intolerable.


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## StarFires (Feb 27, 2018)

aine said:


> Your BF sounds creepy and a bit of a pervert! How long has he been your bf? It is also incredibly disrespectful to you. You shouldn't put up with this. If there are no boundaries now, it will only get worse. You can do much better for yourself than this!


THIS!
He is a forking PERVERT. Just being with him makes people wonder what the heck is wrong with you. Imagine how his friend must have felt when your boyfriend asked to see those naked pictures. He asked right in front of you, so just imagine what his friend and anyone else around must think of you. You don't allow yourself to be placed in those types of positions. You don't allow some guy to make a fool of you. You ESPECIALLY don't allow him to make a fool of you over and over again.

There are certain things you should not have to ask a man not to do. And "Don't disrespect me like that again" is one of them because if he disrespects you in the first place, then you know immediately that he's not the man for you. If you allow him the first time, he will do it again. You should not allow him the first time. If a guy has no better sense than to NOT start at girls, and especially not to stare at them right in front of you, then you have to have enough respect for yourself to know he is not the kind of guy you want to be with. Dump him immediately.

And I hope you won't allow anyone to convince you to play out their own fantasies disguised as advice.


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## StarFires (Feb 27, 2018)

faithfulman said:


> What's good for the goose is good for the gander.


This guy is a creepy pervert for staring at women the way he does, doing it in front of her, and asking his friend to see naked pictures of their girlfriend. Is your advice here that she should do the same thing? Are you suggesting she become a creepy pervert because he is one?


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## faithfulman (Jun 4, 2018)

StarFires said:


> This guy is a creepy pervert for staring at women the way he does, doing it in front of her, and asking his friend to see naked pictures of their girlfriend. Is your advice here that she should do the same thing? Are you suggesting she become a creepy pervert because he is one?


You sure seem to spend most of your time here attacking people or looking for fights. 

How tiresome. Look somewhere else.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

I have no idea why you would want to be with him.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

faithfulman said:


> What's good for the goose is good for the gander.


I ususally agree with this adage, because people who have no respect, usually do not like it when roles are reversed. 
However, in these circumstances, I would hope that OP has more self-respect than to stoop to this BF's level. He sounds like a bottom feeder. A guy aged 18 ogling the girls, I don't agree but I get it. But he is in his 30's, time to grow up and have more respect for women.


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## ah_sorandy (Jul 19, 2018)

palevampire8686 said:


> He (33m) keeps staring at them in front of me (22f). At the beginning it was more intense, like he would turn his head to check out the girl. Now, it's less intense because I told him to stop, but he keeps doing it sometimes. He told me he has sexual desires for them, like he wants to have sex with them. What I understood from what he is saying to me is that he has an interest for them. I know it's ok to notice attractive people, but when it's staring and gawking, also in front of me, it's disrespectful.
> 
> It's like it's hard for him to stop. I think it's a habit or because he follows sexy girls and porn on the internet. Wich I have no problem with. But staring at girls all the time.. this type of behavior I would never accept it. I just think I look like an idiot when I'm holding hands with him and he stares at other girls. Even one time I was with him and one of his friends and he asked in front of me if he could see pictures of his friend's ex naked.
> 
> ...


Use your eyes on other men. Flirt with strangers in front of him. When he objects, tell him you'll stop when he does.

Failing that, leave him and move on. It'll only continue if you marry him!


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## vincent3 (May 31, 2018)

LisaDiane said:


> Some people never want to legally "marry", but their relationships are just as important to them (or more so) than other married people's are, so they should always be welcome.


Good point, and I didn't mean to say she wasn't welcome. Maybe it was just the term boyfriend, but I got the impression from the original post that the relationship wasn't that serious. It seemed like an easy relationship to end.


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

Update... he cheats on her and is now hitting her.









My boyfriend hit me


My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months now. (He's 33 and I'm 22) At the 6th month, he cheated on me because he thought that I cheated on him (but it's another story). He came back and I just went completely nuts. I cried and I slapped him in the face. Two times. I regret this but I...




www.talkaboutmarriage.com


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

Yep, she's started two threads, and never responded to anybody's answers.


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