# Dating Someone New: Is She Throwing Hints?



## land2634 (Jun 7, 2010)

Hi all,

Many of you may recognize me from the "Coping With Infidelity" sub-forum. Without rehashing too many of the details here, about a year ago, I discovered my now ex-wife in an affair. After working to end the affair, she divorced me, which was final back in February.

Something I got into during my free time was learning to play pool. It became something I enjoy doing and myself and many of my friends will go shoot a couple of times a week in pool leagues and whatnot. In any case, this is where I ran into someone I had known since high school. She had worked at a restaurant I used to frequent while she was still in school, but is now teaching math. We had many mutual friends over the years and had run into each other, but had never really talked much.

One evening about a month ago, I received a message from her. Having known both my wife and myself, she was first asking me how I was doing and how life was going. The conversation then turned to playing pool. She asked if I still played often as she had seen me there back in March. I, of course, said yes. She mentioned that her mother had furnished her house with a pool table for her birthday because it was something her mother had always enjoyed, and said she wanted to build her pool skills. Since I was actually headed out that evening to play, I asked if she wanted to join. She did, and we had a really good time; such a good time that I formally asked her out on a date.

We've gone out a few times and had a great time. Even more often, we've hung out with mutual friends. As it's the summer, we have a couple of friends that are in medical school, etc. that are back in town for the summer, so we've spent some time around them. Possibly one of the things that's made it so easy to hang around her is that, having known the entire situation, I haven't had to explain anything to her. She knows I'm divorced, so that awkward conversation didn't have to happen.

A few nights ago, we met up to shoot pool for awhile. One of the waitresses at the pool hall that knows me from me coming in quite often was working. She knew I was there with someone, as she saw her walk in with me. In any case, she's always very flirty with almost anyone that walks in. I always try to be nice, but it does make me uncomfortable. Imagine my surprise when, with my date right there, she remained flirty toward me. When she walked away, my date and I looked at each other and sort of laughed. She then turned to another waitress, who is dating one of our friends, and said, "She does realize I'm right here, right?" She then went on to say, "I mean, we're not officially together, otherwise I might have felt like smacking her." She then looked toward me as if to feel out my reaction to what she had said.

In any case, the question stemming from this long-winded post is this: Was she throwing a hint out there that she might want to move toward more than just a date here and there and toward something more exclusive?

Having learned so much about marriage over the past year, I'm still clueless when it comes to the dating world. I really like her, enjoy her company, and see no reason to back off on dating her at this point. Any ideas?


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

"yes".


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## justonelife (Jul 29, 2010)

I wouldn't read too much into it but she either looked at you intentionally to see if you agreed or was worried that she had blurted something out unintentionally and had freaked you out. Either way, in my opinion the fact that she said it at all means she sees you as possible exclusive boyfriend material.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Dude, you have chicks fighting over you like hyenas over a carcass ...

You're good to go.

I make this suggestions often, to men who find themselves in the dating pool after divorce, or the end of a LTR. Go buy a pickup artist book, or an equivalent dating book. Arm yourself. Be informed. Don't be clueless. And have fun.


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## ThinkTooMuch (Aug 6, 2010)

*Throwing Hints? YES!*

Don't want to hijack this thread but write because it made me realize that on one of my first dates - this with a lovely woman from Sausalito - after lunch she invited me to her houseboat.

I didn't realize all the reasons I invited, since then I've learned a lot. 

Guys when a woman invites you to her apartment and opens a good bottle of wine I strongly suggest you pay attention. You are expected to do a lot more than discuss the bottle's artwork.

Will say that this rounding, balding, 62 yo guy has at least three women currently very interested in my company, this is a wonderful change from the last years of my marriage where I had a stbx who ignored me.

Wish I knew when I was in college that women want men as much as we want women and can be just as sensual or more so.


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## lostdad (Apr 2, 2011)

Deejo said:


> Dude, you have chicks fighting over you like hyenas over a carcass ...
> 
> You're good to go.
> 
> I make this suggestions often, to men who find themselves in the dating pool after divorce, or the end of a LTR. Go buy a pickup artist book, or an equivalent dating book. Arm yourself. Be informed. Don't be clueless. And have fun.


Can you recommend any specific books? I'm pretty clueless when it comes to reading people and signals and body language and what not. Always have been. I definitely need to get informed.


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

Land my mate, that is a big YES, she looked to see if you freaked, you didn't, she is wanting to take things to the next level.


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## englishguy80 (Jul 25, 2010)

Dude, even without the "waitress" incident it sounds obviously she likes you. 

Man up! Before its to late.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

The only way to know is to find out what she wants. But first you need to find out what YOU want.


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## Jayg14 (May 23, 2011)

I too would be interested in any pickup artist books your recommend.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Just google that stuff about body language. There's a ton of things on the web (for free) that can teach you what to look for while dating. have fun!


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