# Who cheats more ?



## TheWon% (Jul 30, 2014)

Ladies help me out. I did a little research on this using the search feature but I want to know who do you think cheats more, men or women. It is said that statistically men cheat more being the natural aggressors. Once you vote in this poll, please share any pertinent links in your comments. Thank you ladies in advance.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I want to take my vote back. Accidently voted women but meant to vote men. All statistics show that mean cheat more, but a about 2% points.


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## TheWon% (Jul 30, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> I want to take my vote back. Accidently voted women but meant to vote men. All statistics show that mean cheat more, but a about 2% points.


EleGirl what do you think the parameters on this are. I did a search on TAM for "who cheats more" and I found some very insightful discussions on the matter, but the threads were really old so I thought I'd start a new one. However the comments on some of those posts were extremely insightful and made me think about things I'd never considered..... thanks to everyone for their comments in advance....


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

What do you mean by 'parameters'? Do you mean the contributors? or the %'s? or what?


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## johny1989 (May 21, 2014)

The answer is 50-50


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## TheWon% (Jul 30, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> What do you mean by 'parameters'? Do you mean the contributors? or the %'s? or what?


EleGirl, no they brought up stuff like 

"I think you also can't use how many marriages end as a result of cheating to determine who cheats more. This is because women are more likely to end a marriage when they cheat as they've checked out and are often in love with their AP, while men are more often looking for sex but don't necessarily want to end their marriages. Also, it would seem that men are more likely to initiate divorce when their wife cheats then women are when their husband cheats. These scenarios could easily make it seem like more women cheat"

This is stuff that I hadn't even though of...... very interesting.....


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Not of one studies I’ve seen uses the number of divorces filed to determine % of cheaters. Something like 66-78% of all marriages that experience infidelity never end in divorce. So using divorce to count infidelity is not going to yield accurate numbers.

Most studies ask people if they have cheated. When asked if they have ever cheated on any relationship the numbers I’ve seen are that men report cheating 55%-65% and women report cheating 40%-45%.

But when people are ask if they have cheated on their current spouse, about 25% of men say that they have cheated and about 19% of women say that they have.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

TheWon% said:


> EleGirl, no they brought up stuff like
> 
> "I think you also can't use how many marriages end as a result of cheating to determine who cheats more. This is because women are more likely to end a marriage when they cheat as they've checked out and are often in love with their AP, while men are more often looking for sex but don't necessarily want to end their marriages. Also, it would seem that men are more likely to initiate divorce when their wife cheats then women are when their husband cheats. These scenarios could easily make it seem like more women cheat"
> 
> This is stuff that I hadn't even though of...... very interesting.....


And yes, men are more likely to divorce their wife if she cheats.. the different is very large.


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## TheWon% (Jul 30, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> And yes, men are more likely to divorce their wife if she cheats.. the different is very large.


EG, and this is of course a totally speculative question, but if the persons asked, knew that they was have to verify their answers via a polygraph test, what do you think the numbers would look like? There is no wrong answer to that question..... as it's purely opinion..... ???


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

TheWon% said:


> EG, and this is of course a totally speculative question, but if the persons asked, knew that they was have to verify their answers via a polygraph test, what do you think the numbers would look like? There is no wrong answer to that question..... as it's purely opinion..... ???


Since the studies are blind, meaning that no one could every tie the answer to the person, I think that they are fairly truthful. 

There will always be some who cannot answer a question truthfully come hell or high water.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

Of the people that my husband and I have known, we have found that women cheat more. No research here, just our real life findings.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

Only out of my experience and friends...men cheated more. But I honestly think it's 50-50 now. So, I can't answer the poll.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

Cheaters are statistically more likely cheat than any man or woman.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

There's still a slight edge to men because they have the ability to utilize prostitutes and other such pay for play methods but it's close


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Probably nobody knows. Also, cheating is worse among the poor and uneducated. The more more and qualifications people have, the less they cheat. Perhaps the more educated are perhaps more perceptive and thus fear detection or perhaps they are unwilling to cheat given the investments they have made in career and marriage.

The age at which people marriage. Parents marital history. Number of sex partners prior to marriage. All these and more change the results.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I feel men cheat more because they (generally) have the higher sex drive, and it's (again generally) easier for them to separate love from sex ..over women who are (generally) more attachment prone....more sensitive, more emotional... 

Men having to deal with 10-50 times more testosterone flowing in their veins ..over us women... (this is our lust hormone)....this makes them very visual, they want to spread their seed...the temptation is just weighter...I have always felt men was the "weaker" sex ...(in this area anyway)...

Now Emotionally speaking.. ...deny a woman her emotional needs.. she is more likely to fall into an EA ...that can escalate to a Physical affair due to the man's weakness for the physical.


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

I think it's pretty equal.


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## PreRaphaelite (Dec 15, 2012)

If you include escorts and prostitutes, definitely men. Women tend not to get shagged by the male stripper and his horse dong even if they are in attendance.

If it's EAs and PAs we're talking about, then the numbers change pretty drastically I'm sure. It might be true that men cheat more by around 2%, however the traditional barriers to wives cheating on their husbands have been all but eliminated and the feeling in the air that it's ok for a woman to cheat is most definitely there.


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## PreRaphaelite (Dec 15, 2012)

If you include escorts and prostitutes, definitely men. Women tend not to get shagged by the male stripper and his horse dong even if they are in attendance.

If it's EAs and PAs we're talking about, then the numbers change pretty drastically I'm sure. It might be true that men cheat more by around 2%, however the traditional barriers to wives cheating on their husbands have been all but eliminated and the feeling in the air that it's ok for a woman to cheat is most definitely there.


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## Nigel Pinchley (Jul 29, 2014)

Idk that it's something that can ever really be accurately measured. Directly asking, even in a scientifically vetted and designed survey, is still reliant on people copping to it.

Trying to rig up some indirect metrics is just as slippery bc, due to the tenuous nature of those connections, you're going to have a difficult time sifting out false positives and false negatives from the result set, if you can even categorically determine a false from a true answer at all.

My personal experience is that it's about 50/50, but anecdotal evidence is worth about what you pay for it. I think what's more staggering to me is *how many* people have cheated as a percentage of all married couples.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

I would imagine that many factors influence this, including regional and cultural factors. While I doubt there are any places where women cheat more, I can easily envision societies where men cheat more, especially if you count prostitutes as others have pointed out. Most of the time I'd suspect it's close to equal, but to verify that you'd need a random representative population with a large enough sample. Within smaller pockets anything can happen; in my social group most of the cheaters have been women, but my little social group is hardly representative.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

The statistics from many sources over many years consistently indicate that men cheat at a higher frequency. It also seems that the rates are getting closer together over time - not sure if that's objectively true, but that's my impression. And I also think that for younger people (about mid-30s and under), women cheat at equivalent or higher rates, perhaps due to increasing sexual equality and decreasing social stigma for being sexual.


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## Hortensia (Feb 1, 2013)

I don't know about the statistics, but I think men. That's because there are so many beautiful women. If I were a man, I would have a hard time picking and staying with only one. As opposed to that, handsome guys are rare, and when found, women tend to cling to them if they have them, or cheat with them if they're taken. And yes, appearence is not everything, but it all starts with the "hots"...


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

> Who cheats more ?


By all statistics I have ever seen men. But only SLIGHTLY more than women.

And in any event, I don't discriminate much in the way of lousy character between a cheater and those that willingly bed down other people's spouses/partners. 

So when men cheat, assuming heterosexual relationships, then there are women with just as lousy character that are more than happy to oblige (with the exception of those women that were lied to). Same when the gender roles are reversed.

So it all evens out.


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## phoenix_ (Dec 20, 2013)

If we're just talking about sex then its definitely men and I would assume that the numbers wouldn't be very close. I'm very surprised some people think it's 50/50 or even close to that. 

I've been in countless groups of men who just assume that everybody is cheating on their wives and it's perfectly fine to talk about it and hide it for each other. It's pretty pathetic.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Why was the OP banned?


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

Maybe they talked about what it would be like if they were banned not realizing that talking about banning can get you banned?

Seriously no idea why they were banned. Maybe they were wearing a red shirt that day?


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

johny1989 said:


> The answer is 50-50


Oh, it's not 50/50...

I don't know the numbers but I don't believe that.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

I think that women are less candid in their answers given the social constraints placed on them compared to men regarding personal failings.

That said, it is a close race statistically in admitted to infidelity by gender.

I suspect, and I have nothing other than my gut telling me this, that if there were an effective truth serum given before the question is asked of people, that the infidelity rates of women would go up a lot.


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

I truly do believe that men are maybe more Likely to cheat.... Maybe i am a little sexiest .... But i really do.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

If men cheat more, then that means there are a lot of stupid, worthless women more than willing to oblige them.

If women cheat more, then there are a lot of idiot men that only think with their d!cks.

So if one side cheats more it just means there are an equal, if not more, amount of worthless individuals on the other side of the gender fence willing to be POS


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

vellocet said:


> If men cheat more, then that means there are a lot of stupid, worthless women more than willing to oblige them.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




You forget sex workers who are mostly women and oblige men in cheating.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

Almostrecovered said:


> You forget sex workers who are mostly women and oblige men in cheating.


Nah, not forgetting them or those that hook up with cheaters that don't know they are cheating.

But I'm willing to bet they know more times than not.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Almostrecovered said:


> You forget sex workers who are mostly women and oblige men in cheating.


I think the stats will sort this out. how? Percentage of women who get shot down for sex vs men who get refused.

Far more women can easily get sex partners than men can. Hence the pay differential. Cancels out the difference by gender.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I hate using anecdotal evidence but go google prostitute review boards and you'll see quite the huge amount of men who use this type of service


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Almostrecovered said:


> I hate using anecdotal evidence but go google prostitute review boards and you'll see quite the huge amount of men who use this type of service


If the stats show only about a 3-5 percent difference between men and women, that doesn't sound like a huge amount of men using prostitutes.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

3-5% of the populous is huge


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Almostrecovered said:


> 3-5% of the populous is huge


And I posited that that same approximate population of women finds sex without paying for it over and above the men who find sex without paying for it.

Balances it out.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Great science there, "studies show men cheat at a 3%-5% higher rate" but they're wrong cause....


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Almostrecovered said:


> Great science there, "studies show men cheat at a 3%-5% higher rate" but they're wrong cause....


OK, so you want a flame war or what?

I maintain that the differential is caused by less than candid answers, and there are studies to back up that stance.

Basically, both genders cheat at roughly the same rate. If someone can point to prostitution as a reason for the greater rate for men, another can point to deceptive responses by women caused by societal pressures.

I just wish there were not so many cheating.


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## lifeisbetterthanalternat (Apr 24, 2012)

TheWon% said:


> EleGirl, no they brought up stuff like
> 
> "I think you also can't use how many marriages end as a result of cheating to determine who cheats more. This is because women are more likely to end a marriage when they cheat as they've checked out and are often in love with their AP, while men are more often looking for sex but don't necessarily want to end their marriages. Also, it would seem that men are more likely to initiate divorce when their wife cheats then women are when their husband cheats. These scenarios could easily make it seem like more women cheat"
> 
> This is stuff that I hadn't even though of...... very interesting.....


Absolutely... I know guys that use prostitutes and/or massage parlors...would difenately cheat in other ways. That don't necessarly want to leave their wives. Believe it or not..I would postulate that some men dont' believe a prostitute is really cheating. I don't she this delusional thinking.. but, still (actually in Japan it is LEGAL to cheat as long as the man is paying for it) FWIW. 

Sorry for typos


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## lifeisbetterthanalternat (Apr 24, 2012)

LongWalk said:


> Probably nobody knows. Also, cheating is worse among the poor and uneducated. The more more and qualifications people have, the less they cheat. Perhaps the more educated are perhaps more perceptive and thus fear detection or perhaps they are unwilling to cheat given the investments they have made in career and marriage.
> 
> The age at which people marriage. Parents marital history. Number of sex partners prior to marriage. All these and more change the results.


I think the opposite. I have been tempted on business trips many times...not so much going to the mall or grocery store.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

Because people feel they are less likely to get caught when on business trips.

Men cheat more frequently. They want more sex and more variety. They prime themselves with porn and strip clubs, lowering the threshold. And once they cheat they are more likely to cheat again. My H cheated with a prostitute, a married woman more than once, an allegedly getting divorced womsn and kissed a single woman stupidly, in front of other people. Those are just what I know about.

He did this to his ex, not me. But I will never trust him because of it.

I think I have dated more guys that have cheated on exes than ones that haven't. Loved the guy who forgot his current wife was in the pic with his kids when he went to show them to me. Argh! 

I don't know why men get defensive about this stuff. It is the way it is. And it is tolerated by a lot of non-cheating men, too. 

When getting sex is made such a high priority and made a measure of your self-worth as it is for a lot of men, it is going to happen.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

clipclop2 said:


> Because people feel they are less likely to get caught when on business trips.
> 
> Men cheat more frequently. They want more sex and more variety. They prime themselves with porn and strip clubs, lowering the threshold. And once they cheat they are more likely to cheat again. My H cheated with a prostitute, a married woman more than once, an allegedly getting divorced womsn and kissed a single woman stupidly, in front of other people. Those are just what I know about.
> 
> ...


lots of business women out there today and women who are home while the husband is away also have time to cheat.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

The impetus is still less. Getting higher with time, but still less.


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## zackie (Aug 27, 2013)

Men cheat more than women by FAR (or at least WANT to cheat at a much great rate). I read that websites like ****** ******* are 90% men, and a good portion of the women who are on there are sex workers looking for money.


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## ericthesane (May 10, 2013)

In almost any population group, age bracket, and most regions/countries, the ratio of males to females are 50/50.

Therefore, if the posit that 'men cheat more often than women' is true, it means that the average women is party to more cheating than the average man. Hence, more men than women cheat overall, but the women that is a party to the cheating, cheat with a higher number of men.....

The thing about 'ladies of negotiable affections' does come to mind here. if there are 10 cases of cheating, including the same women with 10 different men, it is true I guess.

if it has to do with an EA cheat, It must be 50/50 though... 

Am I missing something


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## WasDecimated (Mar 23, 2011)

My vote is based on real life experience and observation.

I’ve been married twice in my life…both wives cheated on me.

I see so much infidelity every around me. I will never get married again.

In my current life, I know eleven men whose wives have cheated on them,Yes...eleven! All of these marriages ended in divorce except for one. This couple reconciled a few years later. I only know two men who have cheated on their wives. They are both still married.

The cheating wives, for the most part, blamed the husbands for their cheating and felt emotionally attached to their lovers…most of which were also married. The cheating husbands claimed sex and ego stroking for their reason to cheat. Their affair partners were single.

The majority of the wives affairs broke up after the affairs were exposed. About half the wives still wanted out of their marriages. The other half was the husband’s choice. Most of the betrayed husbands found new love within a couple years and were re-married and seem happy. Only 2 of the XWWs remarried. The rest seem to be rather miserable. 

I'm sure the real numbers are more like 50/50. This is just what's going on around me.


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## ocotillo (Oct 17, 2011)

It depends in part, on how you define, "Cheating." If you include emotional affairs and physical contact other than actual sex (e.g. Kissing) under the umbrella of cheating, then the ratio is almost dead even.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

zackie said:


> Men cheat more than women by FAR (or at least WANT to cheat at a much great rate). I read that websites like ****** ******* are 90% men, and a good portion of the women who are on there are sex workers looking for money.


Your talking about the ******* site?

In this day and age and over the last twenty years there have been a huge surplus of female cheaters, complete with no remorse and a perfect scapegoat of a man. Divorce laws favor them to be ab le to do this damage with no penalty to them.

Also many of the single mens viewpoint is if they screw someones wife they didn't cheat on anyone, that they have no implilcation in a bad situation.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

ericthesane said:


> In almost any population group, age bracket, and most regions/countries, the ratio of males to females are 50/50.
> 
> Therefore, if the posit that 'men cheat more often than women' is true, it means that the average women is party to more cheating than the average man. Hence, more men than women cheat overall, but the women that is a party to the cheating, cheat with a higher number of men.....
> 
> ...


You have a sample size of 11, so lets do some science.

What is the demographic where the cheating occured?
What kind of jobs did these guys have?
Where these guys in good physical condition?
Were they alpha or beta?
Did any of the men attempt to take their wife back?
What were some of the common excuses a WAW gave for her indescrition?
What type of situations would these WAW's do their cheating? IE: GNO's, Vacations, Long term boyfriends, Strip club, ?

Thanks.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

My H is what everyone would think of as a beta, nice guy.

He paid for sex, cheated on business trips, cheated at home and had failed attempts. 

What does alpha or beta have to do with it?


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> There's still a slight edge to men because they have the ability to utilize prostitutes and other such pay for play methods but it's close


If a woman wants to pay me for sex, I may be open to negotiate.


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## naiveonedave (Jan 9, 2014)

I am just a giggilo, and everywhere I go.....


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## love=pain (Nov 26, 2012)

I don't know out of my group of friends or people I know of the women are winning(if you can call it that) 7-3
Overall it is probably closer to 50/50 but I don't know men get more of a penalty (divorce money splits & child custody) where women even if they get caught and a D happens they still get the lion's share of the money and the kids so a lot less of a deterrent for women.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

What does it matter who cheats more?

I'm a hetero woman and I won't be chaning my orientation due to any survey.

I'm more interested in the various ways that a partner can cheat and how to detect --and then block --the roads that lead to it.


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

on this thread, it is men 27 and women 26. just a guess but the number

of men and women who voted, would be a direct correlation of the 

voting outcome


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

A open thread started by a now banned poster would this count as a zombie thread or a OP'less thread ?


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

We don't need an OP to rehash the same arguments over and over again. I think an early descendent of Adam posted the original thread, anyway.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

clipclop2 said:


> We don't need an OP to rehash the same arguments over and over again. I think an early descendent of Adam posted the original thread, anyway.


Ohhh!!!!

Adam, Bathsheba and there are others in the bible who destroyed their husbands.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Every married woman I have known more than socially in the last 20 years has cheated. Some serially. 

I chalk it up to the biggest unstated poorly kept secret in the world - that women are actually a LOT angrier than men by and large.


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

First I wasn't planning on posting anything but after thinking about it i'll weigh in my 2 cents 



Based on my personal experiences and observations over the years I believe the numbers are actually quite equal for both genders I think the key difference is men are more likely to get caught as opposed to women the reason for this is because in most cases the other woman's ultimate goal is to take the wayward husband from the betrayed wife where as if you flip the genders the other mans primary goal is no strings attached sex in that type of environment it is much easier to keep things more discreet.



Another variable to add to this is also cultural norms that foster a general belief that all men are dogs as a result there is more focus/scrutiny on what men do in the marriage and at same time there is the belief that all women are virtuous in the marriage and would never cheat a fallacy to which many here would probably a test to is far from true.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

More likely to get caught because they cheat more often.


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