# V-day!



## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

What are you doing for your significant other for valentines day? 
What WOULD you like your significant other to do for you?
Does anyone decorate and actually get into Valentine’s Day?


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## Lloyd Dobler (Apr 24, 2014)

Girl_power said:


> What are you doing for your significant other for valentines day?
> What WOULD you like your significant other to do for you?
> Does anyone decorate and actually get into Valentine’s Day?


My wife and I don't do anything really special for Valentine's Day. It's a made up "holiday" and in my opinion it's the other 364 days of the year that count just as much in how you treat your significant other. I don't have any problem with those who go all out for Valentine's Day, but that's just not for us.


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

His daughter’s birthday is on Valentine’s Day and she invited us both out to dinner. I’ve never really cared about it anyway so I said sure. I’m flattered she wants me there. So we’ll have a nice birthday celebration with her and then come back to his house for some time to ourselves. Perfect night!!


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Absolutely nothing. I have never acknowledged Valentine's Day and I don't intend to start now. I would like my wife to not mention it, not sulk about it and get over the incredibly stupid day.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Dropping dollar bills on booze and strippers.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

When I was married I would have preferred to ignore it because I view it as a day created to benefit retailers. However, my husband liked celebrating it in a very over-the-top way so I reciprocated.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

Tough crowd.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

bobert said:


> absolutely nothing. I have never acknowledged valentine's day and i don't intend to start now. I would like my wife to not mention it, not sulk about it and get over the incredibly stupid day.


this


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

Valentine's Day? Yuk...

A consumerist day to shame and pressure men into spending money on crap no one needs and for women to flex their gifts on any other woman they come across.

I'll let the ladies in on a little secret. Most men put little real thought into what they buy you. They work off a price point and hope it is just a little more than your friends/sister receives. The same goes for jewelry.

I have a good friend whose family owns a florist. When I was younger I used to help out during the holidays taking orders, making deliveries and such. Maybe one out of a hundred men actually had more input than "uh, yeah...she likes roses," Almost without exception they indicated what they wanted to spend and asked if it was enough. Wasn't too hard for the female emp,oyees to convince them to double 9r even triple the budget they came in with.

The risky move was to send the arrangement to her workplace. This is a great idea when she is the only one getting flowers, but on Valentine's Day she won't be. If a coworker gets a bigger arrangement, candy, a stuffed animal, balloons, etc. and his lady didn't it would have been better if he sent nothing at all. I delivered many beautiful arrangements to offices only to see the obvious look of dissatisfaction. I could easily predict this outcome if I walked past a grander spread on someone else's desk on the way in.

As previously suggested, treat your partner right all year, not just when the American Marketing Association tell you to.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Wow, why the hate on for V-Day?

I mean, it's basically a freebie to buy your wife some lingerie and have a fun night. Costs you some flowers and a card or something. Maybe a small gift. Why is that so bad?


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## leftfield (Mar 29, 2016)

I do not care for the concept of valentines day. You should demonstrate your love and affections for your SO throughout the year. 

That being said, I do use it as an excuse to take her out to dinner, and we get each other a gift. Last year she got a skillet and I got binoculars. This year she is getting socks, we'll see what I get.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

I am Leslie Knope when it comes to celebrating holidays, so I have a policies and procedures binder and a 5 year plan on how to celebrate Valentines Day! LOL 

Okay, maybe that is just a small exaggeration, but I don't "ignore" Valentines Day. We are going to make a fancy dinner together (we FAR prefer to make our dinners than to go out to eat), and we're having chocolate covered strawberries for dessert. I do have some secret presents for EB, but I'm not telling here because he can read  

Then next weekend we are making a day of it an doing a 5k "race" followed by brunch, then heading to the mountains for a sleigh ride followed by dinner. 

Personally, I believe in being loving every day, all year long...but I don't object to picking one day to especially show my love.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Marduk said:


> Wow, why the hate on for V-Day?
> 
> I mean, it's basically a freebie to buy your wife some lingerie and have a fun night.......


Well, I have tried that in the past and got them thrown in my face. Some women has such body self image issues that anything implying sex simple is too threatening for them.

Yes, flowers. Yes, a movie. No to restaurants as they are way too crowded. Home with a bottle of wine and an Amazon firestick movie is not the plan.

For me V-day is a day of low expectations, that way I am not disapointed.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Girl_power said:


> What are you doing for your significant other for valentines day?


The absolute minimum required to not find myself in the doghouse.



> What WOULD you like your significant other to do for you?


Not. One. Damn. Thing.

I'm very much an actions-speak-louder kinda guy, so singling out a day of the year to proclaim my undying love cheapens the other 364 days when proclaiming my undying love comes in the form of a fully realized relationship. 

However, how I see it is not the whole story, so some small token is required to keep the SO happy. Since I periodically bring home flowers during the year because they are always appreciated, it's not a stretch to pay 3x for the same during February. Throw in a nauseating card and call it good. 

What I will not do is fight with the crowds at restaurants and other romantic getaways because the calendar says I should. We spent this last weekend away at the coast - that will have to do. 

Oh, and as Dan Savage says - be sure to **** First before you go out for that big meal together. You're welcome.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

samyeagar said:


> Dropping dollar bills on booze and strippers.


Hey Sam...are you ok? Was this just a joke? If not this is surely not you so thought I would check. 

I literally may be dropping dollars on strippers because I’m so freaking bored and currently dateless that maybe seeing some honeys will cheer me up! Lolz


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## justlistening (Jan 23, 2020)

bobert said:


> Absolutely nothing. I have never acknowledged Valentine's Day and I don't intend to start now. I would like my wife to not mention it, not sulk about it and get over the incredibly stupid day.


So are you saying that you have always knowingly refused to acknowledge a day that you knew your wife regarded as soecial?

How did you expect that to go over year after year?


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

justlistening said:


> So are you saying that you have always knowingly refused to acknowledge a day that you knew your wife regarded as special?
> 
> How did you expect that to go over year after year?


Yes, because it's a stupid day. Don't worry though, she found someone else to celebrate with and **** one Valentine's Day long ago. That started a 4 year long affair, so I guess she got a few more Valentine's Days out of it. Or I could celebrate a stupid holiday and the start of her affair all at once. That'd be fun!


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## .339971 (Sep 12, 2019)

I'm going on a date. With myself.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> Hey Sam...are you ok? Was this just a joke? If not this is surely not you so thought I would check.
> 
> I literally may be dropping dollars on strippers because I’m so freaking bored and currently dateless that maybe seeing some honeys will cheer me up! Lolz


Hey FW. Yeah, things have been going alright. This is not exactly a joke, as it has been a long while sice my wife and I went to a strip club, and she's been suggesting we go for a while now, and hey, what the hell


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

IMO: Valentine's Day causes performance anxiety in both male and female folks. Be sincere and honest. Be considerate. Say/write what is truth to you. Men want to be appreciated. Women want to be loved--at the minimum.

To me something involving good memories is more valuable than gold. This is not the time for a command performance, but just a genuine extra demonstration of affection.

Often folks expect what happened in a family of origin situation. My folks adored each other all their lives. This was an actual legacy of what might have been. 

My ex made it clear that he thought our marriage was a mistake early on--any Valentine's Day expression from him was so that he could be admired by others. I've seen this addressed above here--sounds and is painful.

I know who loves me and who does not. I know who appreciates me and who does not. It is nice to get extra attention whether or not you 'know' it. A homemade coupon for a massage, for time off the usual grind, there are inexpensive ways to create a special feeling.

Calling V-Day a stupid day--It was often painful for me, I have no SO and expect nothing. But to me, this day is more about transmitting feelings than actions.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Young at Heart said:


> Well, I have tried that in the past and got them thrown in my face. Some women has such body self image issues that anything implying sex simple is too threatening for them.
> 
> Yes, flowers. Yes, a movie. No to restaurants as they are way too crowded. Home with a bottle of wine and an Amazon firestick movie is not the plan.
> 
> For me V-day is a day of low expectations, that way I am not disapointed.


Ouch. I'm sorry.


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## leftfield (Mar 29, 2016)

It looks like a lot of people avoid going out to eat on valentines because the restaurants are packed. I don't think I have ever noticed this. 

Of course it might help that I rarely take my wife out on valentines day. I just use it as an excuse to take her out. The actual day we go out will depend on what day we decide we can both enjoy it. As far as I am concerned any day we go out during the month of February is our celebration of valentines day. (Usually we keep it within a week of the actual date. This gives us at least two weekend to work with.)

This year we will be going out on Saturday. Our oldest child has a church activity that we are taking him and some other youth to. We will drop them off, then go shopping for tile and other things we need for our bathroom remodel. Have an early dinner. Pick up the youth. Make the 2.5 hour drive home. Then who knows what.


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

I really don't want to fight the crowds going out to dinner...especially on a Friday night this year. We love cooking together so our original plan was to make a nice prime rib meal together. But his girl wants dinner out to celebrate her birthday so out we go!! But we'll be going to a good fire grilled pizza place that doesn't take reservations and can't be considered romantic at all so I doubt they'll be a lot of coupls there fighting for tables. She's the sweetest thing and really wants me there and how can I say no to that? Of course, I just found out she wants her Mom there too...should make for a funny story..."what did you guys do for your first Valentine's together?" "We went out with his wife." LOL Thankfully she and I get along just fine and we're going early enough that we'll have our own time alone later in the evening.

I might wear something special that I give him a peek at just before we leave the house just to torture him though. >


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

This is the first Valentine’s day that I’ll have acknowledged for a number of years, to be honest, and I’m more than a little excited! I’ve never been out for dinner, but that is what beau has planned for us. Last week, I put in an order for a small vase of underwater orchids to be sent to his office on Friday. As for what I’d like him to do for me… I’d just like his time. After dinner, we’ll go kick back for the evening, and the following day, I’m taking him cross-country skiing for the first time. And, we just hit 11 months (boy, does time sure fly!) :grin2:


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

After Saturday, probably better do something. She is working friday and saturday, so Wednesday is the night this year. I'll just declare it steak and all the oral sex she can handle day. I won't get any consideration. But, it's ok I'm well aware VD is for girls.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

zookeeper said:


> Valentine's Day? Yuk...
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I’ll tell the men a little secret... we like the thought and effort. A lot.


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

Marduk said:


> Wow, why the hate on for V-Day?
> 
> I mean, it's basically a freebie to buy your wife some lingerie and have a fun night. Costs you some flowers and a card or something. Maybe a small gift. Why is that so bad?


I get it; it’s a Hallmark holiday that greatly benefits retailers. I’m sending some flowers to my man that day because I think it’s a nice gesture, and he’s never received flowers. I didn’t go over the top though, and when I was online looking at flowers, I was astounded at the cost of roses which seems to be the most popular for V-day. I’m not a big fan, and would prefer something like daisies or something similar. I also agree with those who state that it’s the other 364 days that count more. Really, if you can’t show your SO your love and devotion during the rest of the year, it’s pretty pointless on Feb 14th. 

But, I get your point to @Marduk. Personally, I’ve never been a huge fan of V-day and haven’t acknowledged it for years. But am looking forward to it this year because I’m with a pretty awesome man.


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## justlistening (Jan 23, 2020)

My husband and I are buying each other a dishwasher. Oh wait, we had to do that anyway lol

I'll probably make his favorite dinner, and he'll bring home my favorite ice cream.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Girl_power said:


> What are you doing for your significant other for valentines day?
> What WOULD you like your significant other to do for you?
> Does anyone decorate and actually get into Valentine’s Day?


Buying a nice present and a card.


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## Max.HeadRoom (Jun 28, 2014)

wine tasting in the ny finger lakes; spend the night too.


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

Ursula said:


> This is the first Valentine’s day that I’ll have acknowledged for a number of years, to be honest, and I’m more than a little excited! I’ve never been out for dinner, but that is what beau has planned for us. Last week, I put in an order for a small vase of underwater orchids to be sent to his office on Friday. As for what I’d like him to do for me… I’d just like his time. After dinner, we’ll go kick back for the evening, and the following day, I’m taking him cross-country skiing for the first time. And, we just hit 11 months (boy, does time sure fly!) :grin2:


Spoke too soon here, and plans have changed a bit. SO's 9 year old daughter asked what her Dad was doing this week, and he told her that him and I were going out for dinner on Valentine's Day. She got jealous and started crying, so he's now taking her and his older daughter out for dinner and I'll be once again treating it as any other day. I'm in the midst of a mound of freelance projects, so after my day of working the full time job, I'll probably come home and work some more. 

Can't say I'm not disappointed, and I may have cried a bit after hanging up with him. Should have known not to get my hopes up!


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Ursula said:


> Ursula said:
> 
> 
> > This is the first Valentine’s day that I’ll have acknowledged for a number of years, to be honest, and I’m more than a little excited! I’ve never been out for dinner, but that is what beau has planned for us. Last week, I put in an order for a small vase of underwater orchids to be sent to his office on Friday. As for what I’d like him to do for me… I’d just like his time. After dinner, we’ll go kick back for the evening, and the following day, I’m taking him cross-country skiing for the first time. And, we just hit 11 months (boy, does time sure fly!) <a href="http://talkaboutmarriage.com/images/TAMarriage_2015/smilies/tango_face_grin.png" border="0" alt="" title="Big Grin" ></a>
> ...


What? So you two had dinner plans, but now he's taking his children out to dinner and you are not invited?

Help me understand this.

Also, is it a night that he'd usually be with the children? Were they originally going to be with the other parent, or was he going to get a sitter?


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Ursula said:


> Spoke too soon here, and plans have changed a bit. SO's 9 year old daughter asked what her Dad was doing this week, and he told her that him and I were going out for dinner on Valentine's Day. She got jealous and started crying, so he's now taking her and his older daughter out for dinner and I'll be once again treating it as any other day. I'm in the midst of a mound of freelance projects, so after my day of working the full time job, I'll probably come home and work some more.
> 
> Can't say I'm not disappointed, and I may have cried a bit after hanging up with him. Should have known not to get my hopes up!


I'm with @Livvie on this one. Is Valentine's day one of his usual custody days? Did you let him know how disappointed you were that he had to cancel your date?


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

I don't have a SO so up until 2 weeks ago, I thought this was going to be another year with nothing to do on Valentine's day but it looks like I'm going to have a full weekend of activities. 

My girlfriends and I are getting together for dinner Thursday night for Galentine's day; I'm headed to an Anti-Valentine's Day party on Friday with a girlfriend; going out dancing with a friend (not calling it a date) Saturday night; and spending some serious cash at a five star restaurant on Sunday night with my Foodie Group (been looking forward to this one a long time). I'm going to need a month to recover from all of that.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

Mr. Nail said:


> But, it's ok I'm well aware VD is for girls.


Steak and bj day is March 14. :grin2:


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

lucy999 said:


> Steak and bj day is March 14. :grin2:


It's not my fault that Mrs Nail prefers a steak and and BJ. BTW she rewrote this date to breakfast.


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## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

I like to acknowledge and kinda celebrate Valentine's day. Before kids my husband and I used to go out or cook something special at home. Now most likely we stay home. It's too crazy to go out.

This year, since vd is on a Friday and President's day is Monday, we decided to go on a little trip to Mexico with the kids and another couple. I have to take my little valentine with us. My daughter was named after St. Valentine.


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

Ursula said:


> Spoke too soon here, and plans have changed a bit. SO's 9 year old daughter asked what her Dad was doing this week, and he told her that him and I were going out for dinner on Valentine's Day. She got jealous and started crying, so he's now taking her and his older daughter out for dinner and I'll be once again treating it as any other day. I'm in the midst of a mound of freelance projects, so after my day of working the full time job, I'll probably come home and work some more.
> 
> Can't say I'm not disappointed, and I may have cried a bit after hanging up with him. Should have known not to get my hopes up!


Well, dirty word!!! I am so sorry. This is painful in more ways than one. You were so excited. Has this happened before? What a blankety-blank precedent!


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

@Livvie, yeah, we had made plans last week to go out for Valentine’s day supper, which is something I’ve never done and was really excited about. I get along well with both daughters, but late last year, his youngest went through a stage where she was scared that her Dad was going to leave her for me, and she didn’t want him dating. She’s been opening up more since the New Year though, but she’s still jealous of time him and I spend together. So yes, she got upset and now he’s going to dinner with his daughters and no, I’m not invited. We have plans all day on Saturday now instead, which is fine, but I’m now worried that if his youngest finds out, she’ll be upset about that too. I like her; she’s a sweet kiddo, but I think she’s quite proficient at knowing how to get what she wants from her Dad, unfortunately. In answer to your last question, this is his week without his daughter (his youngest is with him every second week; his oldest visits him during that week but doesn’t stay with him). So, they were supposed to be with their Mom.
@Lila, yes, he’s well aware of how disappointed I am. Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time this has happened either. I have a lot of patience, and realize that his kids take precedence. But, we (as a couple) need to take priority sometimes, I feel.
@sunsetmist, this has happened before, yes, but not on a holiday. Just a few dates here and there had to be cancelled or rescheduled. I worry that this is going to be my future, and I’m not happy with that thought. My own fault for getting my hopes up and being excited… Lesson learned!


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

lucy999 said:


> Steak and bj day is March 14. :grin2:


Wait, that's PI day. A man can only tolerate so much good fortune on a single date.


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## Hiner112 (Nov 17, 2019)

On the first valentines with the mother of my children, I bought ruby earrings and a matching necklace and we cuddled on the couch. We had been dating for for two months at that time and I said, "I love you" for the first time. She said something about liking me too though I don't think she was really ready to.

In the beginning of the relationship, I would take her out, buy her flowers, and she'd usually get frisky with me.

Later in the relationship, I would usually cook her favorite meal (baked salmon, rice, sauteed asparagus, and white wine), usually get flowers, and we'd watch one of the "romantic" movies she'd been wanting to watch. It was a coin flip if she made it to the end of the movie before falling asleep.

The last few years we were together, I'd arrange babysitting, we'd go out to eat, and come home to watch the movie she wanted to watch. If she was still awake when it was over, she'd insist on starting another one.

This is the second V-Day since she moved out. Over the last couple years I have gotten over the excitement of "celebrating" it. I have some frozen salmon in the freezer. I'll probably make it for irony's sake.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

Mr. Nail said:


> It's not my fault that Mrs Nail prefers a steak and and BJ. BTW she rewrote this date to breakfast.


So she'll make you steak for breakfast then. Steak n eggs and then a bj. Nice way to start the day.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Not a damn thing. Stopped doing anything 5 years ago after telling her she could have a divorce if she wanted it.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

lucy999 said:


> So she'll make you steak for breakfast then. Steak n eggs and then a bj. Nice way to start the day.


You are a kind and generous soul. No, what this means is that since we are waking up early for some work thing of hers, that I'm required to attend, She will skip the steak, and eat biscuits and gravy at her favorite place. I can have steak and eggs if I'm up to it. Lately I eat a small fruit for breakfast. She promised sex Wednesday night. I'm not counting on it. But, after all it is valentines, not Mar 14th. 

The confusing and frustrating bit is not the "promises you don't intend to keep", it is the assignment for me to plan all dates, recreation, and vacations, and her hobby of changing every single facet of every single thing I plan. Which brings us back to Saturday . . . .


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

I just made plans with a single girlfriend to go dancing on vday. Should be a blast as I always have a great time with her and this dance event looks super fun.


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## attheend02 (Jan 8, 2019)

I'm frustrated that I have no SO and I'm still concerned about vday. 

Like ... I'm afraid to ask a girl I'm dating out on that day because it may mean too much... ugh. F#@k hallmark 

I think it would be better if vday was like thanksgiving, only on a Tuesday.... Only the people who really cared would feel it necessary.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

attheend02 said:


> I'm frustrated that I have no SO and I'm still concerned about vday.
> 
> Like ... I'm afraid to ask a girl I'm dating out on that day because it may mean too much... ugh. F#@k hallmark
> 
> I think it would be better if vday was like thanksgiving, only on a Tuesday.... Only the people who really cared would feel it necessary.


Just ask her out, it doesn't mean what you think it means.

Whereas deliberately NOT asking her out so as to not give her any ideas *will* be obvious to her!! 

Trust me on this.

Just treat it like any other Friday night date. Clink your glasses and say "happy vday" once and drop it. No gift, no flowers. That's all you have to do in order to acknowledge the date without her getting any ideas about what it means. It means you wanted to take her on a date, that's enough and that's plenty good.

If she brings you a gift or a card, just say aw that's sweet and don't make a big deal out of it.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

justlistening said:


> So are you saying that you have always knowingly refused to acknowledge a day that you knew your wife regarded as soecial?
> 
> How did you expect that to go over year after year?





bobert said:


> Yes, because it's a stupid day. Don't worry though, she found someone else to celebrate with and **** one Valentine's Day long ago. That started a 4 year long affair, so I guess she got a few more Valentine's Days out of it. Or I could celebrate a stupid holiday and the start of her affair all at once. That'd be fun!


Wrong guy to throw that on. 
You probably should have read his backstory before that accusatory post.

IMO it's just another Hallmark holiday to boost the bottom line at card and candy companies.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

attheend02 said:


> I'm frustrated that I have no SO and I'm still concerned about vday.
> 
> Like ... I'm afraid to ask a girl I'm dating out on that day because it may mean too much... ugh. F#@k hallmark <a href="http://talkaboutmarriage.com/images/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Smile" ></a>
> 
> I think it would be better if vday was like thanksgiving, only on a Tuesday.... Only the people who really cared would feel it necessary.


Is this the lady that asked you if you could take on her ex in a throw down?


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Girl_power said:


> What are you doing for your significant other for valentines day?


Giving him a card. 



Girl_power said:


> What WOULD you like your significant other to do for you?


Exchanging a card with me.



Girl_power said:


> Does anyone decorate and actually get into Valentine’s Day?


The first one we shared together, he went all out with decorations, plans and such. It was adorable. After we moved in together, and finances were tight, I baked him a chocolate heart-shaped cake with 'I love you' spelled out. He got me a second-hand vinyl record. After a few years, the gifts and decorations weren't really important to either of us. We do random stuff for one another at other times. However, we did continue exchanging a card (the meaning being in what we write to one another) each year for Feb 14th.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Lloyd Dobler said:


> My wife and I don't do anything really special for Valentine's Day. It's a made up "holiday" and in my opinion it's the other 364 days of the year that count just as much in how you treat your significant other. I don't have any problem with those who go all out for Valentine's Day, but that's just not for us.


What's your take on holding up a boom-box to the window?


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

Well I love Valentine’s Day. And I will always be corny and make a big deal out of it regardless if the person I’m with cares or not. To me it’s a day to show your special someone you love them. So they will get forced fed my love if I can help it 

My ex and I are back together and this will be our first vday together. We are making a gourmet dinner together and staying in. I’ll probably decorate with pink and red balloons, and I always make heart shaped pink pancakes in the morning.


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## Lloyd Dobler (Apr 24, 2014)

heartsbeating said:


> What's your take on holding up a boom-box to the window?


Ha! It's only the best way to get the attention of the one you love...


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Saw this today and laughed!


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## attheend02 (Jan 8, 2019)

Lila said:


> Is this the lady that asked you if you could take on her ex in a throw down?


No... that was a next. 

This is a someone else that I really like. I have a dinner date with her tomorrow. I decided to duck the valentine date.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

attheend02 said:


> Lila said:
> 
> 
> > Is this the lady that asked you if you could take on her ex in a throw down?
> ...


Dang. You've taken off with this dating thing. Good for you.


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## attheend02 (Jan 8, 2019)

Lila said:


> Dang. You've taken off with this dating thing. Good for you.


Well... I've only been on 5 dates since the break with my 4 month relationship last month.

3 of them have been with the woman I'm meeting tomorrow. I met her at a meetup (music show).

I think we are pretty close in spirit. We've had some similar experiences. 

I almost gave up on her because I hadn't found way to move it past the friendship zone, but we finally made out a little on Sunday.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Alright, so my husband had a beautiful bunch of flowers waiting for me when I got home, ready for the 14th... and, not knowing this, I'd stopped at the store on the way home and decided to get him a little sumpn too. When he presented me with the flowers, I presented him with the equivalent of flowers - peanut m&m's and a car magazine. Cards being exchanged evening of the 14th


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

Haven't read the thread really but chiming in anyway. So basically I am probably the worst boyfriend ever for Christmas, V-Day, and anniversaries. Its just not my thing at all. Its so bad that I literally warn the woman that have the misfortune of being my significant other. I tend to focus on everyday. I am thoughtful in ways that most aren't on non holidays. I literally always surprise with gifts, trips, and thoughtful gestures all the time. But on holidays I am always awful. It simply is not my super power. So this year my girlfriend says, babe you do so much for me, don't worry about Valentines day. I believed her...

Ok...so I can hear you guys laughing. I literally got her nothing for Valentines day. Because she was adamant she didn't want anything. So I get to work and I have a Fed Ex package. Inside is a heartfelt handwritten card, and a book. Inside the book are pages and pages of boudoir photos in lingerie. My name is on the cover of the book too, and the last page has more loving words on it about us and our relationship.. Then I go to her social media page, and she has a picture of us up saying she is with the love of her life. Ughhhh...talk about pressure. I hastily arranged to have four dozen roses delivered to her, and I also sent her a gift card to a high end lingerie shop that she loves. I am an idiot!!!! Fellas...Never listen to your lady when she tells you she doesn't want anything. 

How am I supposed to give her nothing when she sent me a gift! Had I known I would have had one. I should have known better. I really really should have. For some reason I believed her. When I got home from work she sent me text saying open your freezer. Inside was a Dairy Queen ice cream cake that says I love you. Good grief. I am literally never listening to a woman again when they say they don't want anything! How am I supposed to accept those things and get her nothing. Sigh...I think I did well last minute though. But not falling into that trap again.


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## Chronotrigger (Feb 6, 2020)

I dont need a self proclaimed retailer's day to tell me that I'm supposed to do something special for my wife. We've agreed that Valentines day is ridiculous and so it is just another day as far as we are concerned. We will do something special on a day that really means something to us - our anniversary.


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## thefam (Sep 9, 2014)

ReformedHubby said:


> Haven't read the thread really but chiming in anyway. So basically I am probably the worst boyfriend ever for Christmas, V-Day, and anniversaries. Its just not my thing at all. Its so bad that I literally warn the woman that have the misfortune of being my significant other. I tend to focus on everyday. I am thoughtful in ways that most aren't on non holidays. I literally always surprise with gifts, trips, and thoughtful gestures all the time. But on holidays I am always awful. It simply is not my super power. So this year my girlfriend says, babe you do so much for me, don't worry about Valentines day. I believed her...
> 
> Ok...so I can hear you guys laughing. I literally got her nothing for Valentines day. Because she was adamant she didn't want anything. So I get to work and I have a Fed Ex package. Inside is a heartfelt handwritten card, and a book. Inside the book are pages and pages of boudoir photos in lingerie. My name is on the cover of the book too, and the last page has more loving words on it about us and our relationship.. Then I go to her social media page, and she has a picture of us up saying she is with the love of her life. Ughhhh...talk about pressure. I hastily arranged to have four dozen roses delivered to her, and I also sent her a gift card to a high end lingerie shop that she loves. I am an idiot!!!! Fellas...Never listen to your lady when she tells you she doesn't want anything.
> 
> How am I supposed to give her nothing when she sent me a gift! Had I known I would have had one. I should have known better. I really really should have. For some reason I believed her. When I got home from work she sent me text saying open your freezer. Inside was a Dairy Queen ice cream cake that says I love you. Good grief. I am literally never listening to a woman again when they say they don't want anything! How am I supposed to accept those things and get her nothing. Sigh...I think I did well last minute though. But not falling into that trap again.


Hubby is great with Anniversaries and Christmas but looks at V-Day as a "made up" holiday to stress men out. But unlike you, @ReformedHubby that Ninja has no problem with receiving the great things I have given and planned for him on Valentine's Day through the years. I eventually just did it without expecting anything in return. This year he is on travel and can't get in until tomorrow but I ain't mad. 33 weeks pregnant with twins and I just don't have it in me.

But @Girl_power I like making a big deal out of it. Even after we had kids I always got a sitter and planned a sexy night for the two of us. Oh and yeah, I decorate with Dollar Tree stuff to make the house look festive. The kids get a kick out of helping and making cards for family.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

I had to hop on to say I was at the grocery store yesterday morning. The amount of men clutching heart shaped boxes of candy and bouquets of flowers had me laughing so hard. The panic in their eyes was palpable. They do it to themselves.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

lucy999 said:


> I had to hop on to say I was at the grocery store yesterday morning. The amount of men clutching heart shaped boxes of candy and bouquets of flowers had me laughing so hard. The panic in their eyes was palpable. They do it to themselves.




I was just saying that these stores are making it really easy for men! There were so many red roses and flowers and candy in the front of the store!! No effort required, except getting out of the car.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

thefam said:


> But @Girl_power I like making a big deal out of it. Even after we had kids I always got a sitter and planned a sexy night for the two of us. Oh and yeah, I decorate with Dollar Tree stuff to make the house look festive. The kids get a kick out of helping and making cards for family.




And correct me if I’m wrong but I think it’s a reflection of WHO you are. Its how you show love. 

My mom always made these little days special. My mom who is almost 70 still makes my dad an Easter basket. It’s just the way she is. And I am 100% like that. She shows her love by doing little things like that whether my dad cares or not. 

Some people are super practical and it’s just who they are. Valentine’s Day is not practical. Some people think buying flowers is such a waste of $ they can’t fathom doing it. It’s just a reflection of who they are.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

Girl_power said:


> And correct me if I’m wrong but I think it’s a reflection of WHO you are. Its how you show love.
> 
> My mom always made these little days special. My mom who is almost 70 still makes my dad an Easter basket. It’s just the way she is. And I am 100% like that. She shows her love by doing little things like that whether my dad cares or not.
> 
> Some people are super practical and it’s just who they are. Valentine’s Day is not practical.* Some people think buying flowers is such a waste of $ they can’t fathom doing it. It’s just a reflection of who they are.*


 That's me, reflection and all.

p.s. Your Mom sounds awesome.


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

Just got home after allowing my daughter to use my apartment last night for she and her boyfriend to celebrate the evening together and the remnants of their evening are still here. My table has a red tablecloth and a single red rose in the center. She made him a great chicken pasta dinner and they used the good crystal champagne glasses. Very romantic setting. She puts me to shame...I would not have done all this. LOL He gave her a basket of all her favorite snacks/treats and the red rose. She said they had a perfect night. She lives 2 hours away at college so they only see each other every few weeks so just the time together was special. 

They weathered some tough times in the last 6 months and I thought they were going to break up but they pulled together, made the necessary changes, and are now stronger than ever. They inspire me sometimes. It's nice to see them so happy but especially nice to see her so happy.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Ursula said:


> @Lila, yes, he’s well aware of how disappointed I am. Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time this has happened either. I have a lot of patience, and realize that his kids take precedence. But, we (as a couple) need to take priority sometimes, I feel.


This does not bode well for your relationship. He is being manipulated by his daughter and it's not going to get any better if he cancels plans, because of his daughter's jealousy. Patience is one thing, but enabling manipulation is quite another.


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