# Sex when your college age kids are home



## gmabcd (Sep 9, 2011)

Just curious, How many of you empty nesters would have sex when your college age kids are home from college? Just curious, would you feel uncomfortable even if you know they are sleeping or out.


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

No I don't feel uncomfortable. My Daughter lives here while she studies, and I do what I like, because I'm a rebel that way. 

(We do tone it down if she is here, but still have lots of fun.)


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

I don't feel uncomfortable at all. If anything, I want my kids to know that I have a vibrant and happy sex life. So even if they "heard something" through the walls in the middle of the night (which I do my best to make sure doesn't happen), but if they did, you know, oh well!


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

That is one of the excuses my wife uses. Daughters bedroom is below our bedroom. So the excuse is that she can hear us. My daughter is 20 but still lives at home.

Result is that I am certain my daughter has much more sex than her mother and I do.


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

Well, you don't chase one another around the house in the buff and you don't shriek and scream and intentionally make noise but otherwise, you close the bedroom door and have your private intimate time. Well, lock the door. And perhaps timing so this does not happen 15 minutes before you and the kids are scheduled to go to dinner.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I'd happily have sex with my wife if the Pope was sleeping in the next room, Mother Theresa was praying outside our bedroom window, and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir was rehearsing in the living room all at the same time. I'll try to keep the noise down but the kids can put on headphones or find some other place they need to be. I had sex with them in the house the whole time they were growing up. If they aren't bound for a shrink's couch by now, I figure their psyche is safe.


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## gmabcd (Sep 9, 2011)

Thanks for the Replys. SamSadIam, my husband is using this now as an excuse not to have sex. I would just wait until I know they are sleeping but of course he is asleep by then.


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

No problem here. He's accidently walked in on us enough that he just rolls his eyes and grins. He is 28 yrs old and only comes home for visits now. I think kids need to understand sex is a part of marriage and it is not some dirty secret thing...it is a buetiful expression of his parents love for each other.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Every day....no matter who is home. Of course it's way funner (yes, that's a word) when no one is home. But sneaking one when all the (grown) kids and grandkids are downstairs? Yaaaaaaa

Or out in the back yard at nite. 

Or mostly clothed in the front room.... with the doors locked we have fair warning that someone is coming in. Haven't been caught yet! 

And if we were.... so be it.... its OUR house. Shut up or move out kid.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

mineforever said:


> No problem here. He's accidently walked in on us enough that he just rolls his eyes and grins. He is 28 yrs old and only comes home for visits now. I think kids need to understand sex is a part of marriage and it is not some dirty secret thing...it is a buetiful expression of his parents love for each other.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I agree 1000 % with this....My wife...however...would close the doors, bolt the doors, and move furniture in front of the doors if she thought my son might walk in. I think it is natural and healthy for kids to know that their parents are affectionate and loving....after all...how did they get into this world? By parents who parked the Cadillac


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

Just a thought ... if more parents in the 50's - 80's had been more open in general about their sexuality I wonder if we would have so many women still suffering from the "good girls don't" syndrom.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Who's yer daddy


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

Oh please, who cares? I don't even try to be quiet anymore. They aren't stupid, they know we have sex. Isn't it good for them to know their parents are happy and sexually active? It's not like they aren't!


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Shielding college kids from sex is like protecting fish from the ocean.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Um, the same kids who you raised in your home for 18 years or so? Did you abstain while they lived there before? If you didn't abstain before, then why would you now?

I don't get exhibitionistic or anything, but I'm also not going to hide the fact that I have sex with my wife. That's what married people do, and my kids are grown up enough to deal with that.


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## justonelife (Jul 29, 2010)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Um, the same kids who you raised in your home for 18 years or so? Did you abstain while they lived there before? If you didn't abstain before, then why would you now?


:iagree: This excuse makes no sense.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

The average college kid could walk into a room full of bisexual space aliens practicing sexual bondage with potted plants and they wouldn't be shocked. Of course, finding out that straight, married people have sex may send them shrieking for a PTSD counselor.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Why in the world would I be afaid to have sex with anyone in my house - so long as I have a locked door ?? Not getting it - we've had kids in our house the last 22 yrs...weekends = extra friends too.

Today our College son showed up right as we finished.. we were in the bathroom, he walks up the steps & even says to us - he was hoping he didn't interrupt something showing up (he knew this is Dad's day off & we enjoy ourselves)....ha ha .. 

If you got teens, they know you have







... just use discretion.. unless your bed squeaks so bad you are rocking the house







...Other than that... shame on you if you are not "getting it on"!


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## ocotillo (Oct 17, 2011)

gmabcd said:


> Just curious, How many of you empty nesters would have sex when your college age kids are home from college? Just curious, would you feel uncomfortable even if you know they are sleeping or out.


Our youngest is working on her Master's and still living at home. It's no big deal. She's a child of the internet age and all that this implies.


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## gmabcd (Sep 9, 2011)

Wow what a schmuck I am to take this as an excuse from my husband. Of course we had sex when they were growing up in our house when they were sleeping or out of the house. But now he is using this as an excuse. So tired of the excuses!!!!!!! Tired, kids home from college yadayadayada. Pissed off and tired of telling him my issues!!!!!!!!


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## gmabcd (Sep 9, 2011)

Wow what a sex crazed 50 year old lady I am. What is wrong with me. He is always tired and it its true. We are on such different schedules, He goes to bed early and me late, he wakes up much earlier then me. So sensitive lately. Must be my hormones. This could have been the story our whole married life but I have awakened to a new feeling since my kids are in college. Want to feel desired and young again. I feel and look young and made to be made to feel that way. Do other women my age feel this way. Or am I weird?


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

No your hitting your peak! Women hit their sexual peak sometime in the 40's - 50's. I hit mine around 46, you definately get a new perspective on things....to bad men aren't on the same schedule, they peak in their 20's. The good Lord had a real sense of humor on this one. Now I understand the "cougars" concept.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gmabcd (Sep 9, 2011)

mineforever said:


> No your hitting your peak! Women hit their sexual peak sometime in the 40's - 50's. I hit mine around 46, you definately get a new perspective on things....to bad men aren't on the same schedule, they peak in their 20's. The good Lord had a real sense of humor on this one. Now I understand the "cougars" concept.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Ha Ha so true. I was late in everything in my life. Having a sexual enlightenment if you want to call it that. Unfortunately my husband is not on the same page. Is always so tired and would rather please himself in the early AM when he is working on "the computer" while I am asleep around 5:30 6:00Am.


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## HarryDoyle (Jan 19, 2013)

Listen, these kids screwed up my sex life enough when they were little, I'll be dad gummed if I'm going let them screw it up now!! Besides, it's the only time my wife will give up the tv remote, so they rather look forward to it.


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## gmabcd (Sep 9, 2011)

HarryDoyle said:


> Listen, these kids screwed up my sex life enough when they were little, I'll be dad gummed if I'm going let them screw it up now!! Besides, it's the only time my wife will give up the tv remote, so they rather look forward to it.


Yes it is nice you feel that way but obviously my husband doesn't feel this way even after having a talk with him a few weeks ago telling him how undesired I felt when we didn't have sex when we went on a beautiful vacation. The same excuses then.... I was so tired from golf sun drinking yada yada yada. Either something wrong with me or him. He apoligized to me when I told him how I felt afterwards and said he would make sure to not make me feel that way but the same stuff is happening. Now the excuse is my kids are home from college and so tired all the time. (Which it is his busy time of year for work but come on......)


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## gmabcd (Sep 9, 2011)

Any words of wisdom?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

OMG I am so worried that my college kids might have questions about what is sex? if they knew we were having sex, in our own bedroom while they were home on spring break! They might figure out they didn't come from the stork like we told them before they left for college. if they figured out my wife and I are having sex, then they too might what to experience it some day and then where would we be? 

You dont think they are learning about this secret thing called sex at college do you? 

If they knew we were having sex in our own house they might not want to come home and live at my house when they are done with college! They might want to move out on their own and be indepentent. OMG the horror! :rofl:


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## gmabcd (Sep 9, 2011)

Yeah really funny at my expense but that is what I am dealing with.😰
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

gmabcd said:


> Yeah really funny at my expense but that is what I am dealing with.😰
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


In no way was I making fun of your situation. I was just trying to add some humor. Nothing directed to anyone and I am very very sorry if you took it in that manor


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

The best example you can give your kids is when they know their parents are enjoying a full and robust sex life!

My H used to be squeamish about the kids overhearing sex or even an argument! Until one day the kids were out and we BROKE the bed! Granted it was an old cherrywood bed frame but it broke from us having sex on it, in the middle of sex! We had to disassemble the bed and replaced it that day. The kids came home as we were carting the broken pieces to the garage. H's chest couldn't have been more puffed out. I think that was his turning point.


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

gmabcd said:


> Thanks for the Replys. SamSadIam, my husband is using this now as an excuse not to have sex. I would just wait until I know they are sleeping but of course he is asleep by then.


I know it is just an excuse. Nothing to do with them actually being there. I think it adds to the fun to try to be quiet. 

It makes sense that we wouldn't be pounding away and shaking the bed or have her screaming out in ecstasy. Sex isn't always loud. I can give her oral (or she me) without hardly making a noise.

But if a louder noise happened to happen, a healthy response would be for the two of us to just laugh about it. And I believe it would be healthy for our kids to hear that as well (happy parents).


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

gmabcd said:


> Wow what a sex crazed 50 year old lady I am. What is wrong with me. He is always tired and it its true. We are on such different schedules, He goes to bed early and me late, he wakes up much earlier then me. So sensitive lately. Must be my hormones. This could have been the story our whole married life but I have awakened to a new feeling since my kids are in college. Want to feel desired and young again. I feel and look young and made to be made to feel that way. Do other women my age feel this way. Or am I weird?


Is it possible for you to change your schedule to match his? Go to bed early and get up early?

I wish my wife would do that. She stays up late. Because she is a night owl, but also to avoid me. She apparently needs less sleep than I do, but I know she catches the odd nap in the afternoon.

I have to get up and go to work (she is a SAHM) so I go to bed at 11pm typically. I can't really stay up until 1am and function at work very well. She could change her schedule with no problem, but chooses to have a different one than me.


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## ocotillo (Oct 17, 2011)

This won't be terribly helpful, but the man really sounds like he needs more exercise. It makes a huge, huge difference in your 50's and beyond.


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## gmabcd (Sep 9, 2011)

ocotillo said:


> This won't be terribly helpful, but the man really sounds like he needs more exercise. It makes a huge, huge difference in your 50's and beyond.


Believe it or not he jogs every morning on treadmill.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

unbelievable said:


> I'd happily have sex with my wife if the Pope was sleeping in the next room, Mother Theresa was praying outside our bedroom window, and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir was rehearsing in the living room all at the same time.


This usually happens in my house AFTER sex 

But seriously, my kids knew we were having sex when they lived at home. My daughter used to give us the "Ewwwwww..." comment but my son would high-five me (behind Mom's back, of course).


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## gmabcd (Sep 9, 2011)

Thank you Happyquest for that video. When i have some alone time I will try to watch it. I finally told my husband this morning that I am tired of his excuses of not having sex for long period of time. Last time it was over 3 weeks but since that it is close to One and half weeks which is not terrible but it could easily continue on if i don't say anything. We didn't even have sex on vacation which I told him weeks ago how upset I was with that and how undesired I felt. I told him I don't want pity sex and I am tired of all the excuses. But for some reason can't get past that vacation eventhough the vacation itself was great.. He continually just says he's always tired, gets up real early and stressed from work. I don't know maybe I am reading to many TAM posts but I think he is masturbating more than i think. I don't want to be a sneak and try to see what he is doing in the early AM. Nothing wrong with pleasing yourself as long as your spouse is not denied.


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## gmabcd (Sep 9, 2011)

I also think that even if he wants to have sex with me tonight because I said something this morning I should just tell him let's take a little break.


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