# How would you handle this



## Lefacade (Jan 10, 2014)

So to make a long story as short as possible. My wife had a PA/EA with a guy from another country. I found out about 2 years ago. She tried to be a cake eater but eventually came around as I did the 180 and got her family involved. Any way since it was mostly an EA because of the distance, pics were sent between the 2. 

Anyway to get to the point. We are trying to reconcile but the OM seems to relish in posting the pics of the two of them on his social media accounts. Now I've tried to ignore them and not go to the site to see, but it's one of the few ways I was able to glean if contact was still going on. There were a couple of times early on I was able to tell she was posting under a fake account. Anyway the question is how would you deal with this? Seems like a no win. It pisses me off yet I'm compelled to keep returning. I can't really blame her anymore since she really has no control over whether or not he deletes them or puts them back up. She certainly has been chided many times over the fact she sent him pictures. Any advice on how to deal?


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

You are going to have to either stop looking, or start ignoring. What other options are there?


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## Lefacade (Jan 10, 2014)

Hope1964 said:


> You are going to have to either stop looking, or start ignoring. What other options are there?


Yeah I get that. The only other option is to divorce I guess and hope that after that I don't feel compelled to go back looking. That's the big if for me. If I left her would the pain, hurt and resentment go away or would it still be there.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

If you left, those negatives would fade without the constant reminder of seeing her daily - unless, of course, you're obsessive about it, in which case it could take a very long time.

Once you're in a new relationship, you'll soon forget the past - and won't care.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Lefacade said:


> Yeah I get that. The only other option is to divorce I guess and hope that after that I don't feel compelled to go back looking. That's the big if for me. If I left her would the pain, hurt and resentment go away or would it still be there.


Ok, so then the question becomes - how remorseful is she? Do YOU know what a truly remorseful wayward looks like? Does she?


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

my usual reaction would be asking you, WTH are you doing in his site?, but after seeing other posts of yours where you have admitted that she have been keeping communication with him and even disccused topics as having kids together I would be more worried about her commitment.

It seems that she is with you more for the ciurcumstances (the fact that he is in another country) that the desire to rebuild her marriage with you.


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