# Has anyone become the OM/OW's spouse's friend?



## Rugs (Apr 12, 2013)

Have any BS's made friends with their WS's AP's spouse?

(I think I got that right)

What was the outcome? Was it beneficial?


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

After catching my wife in an EAPA with an old college BF, hooked up on FB 30 years post college... big surprise, l was in shock. I couldn't (still) couldn't believe what she wrote about me and our marriage. 

Anyway, a few days in I contacted the OMW. She was shocked, but not surprised (they had been on/off separated for months). She suspected he had cheated throughout their marriage but never had concrete proof. I had all the proof. The OM and my wife even discussed prior affairs and how unhappy (miserable) they had been for years... "Honor amongst thieves, if you will". 

I quickly forwarded all the emails, text messages, and phone logs to bring her up to speed. She was very grateful and thanked me for being honest with her. She confronted. We would email or talk with each every day or so to compare stories and mostly lies. For a while my wife and the OM did not know we were in contact. This put a real damper on the TT that were being fed when the lies didn't match up. 

After about a month of talking (we never met) the OMW and I both sensed that we were basically leaning on each other as friends to make it through the pain of the betrayal. While helpful for a time, we mutually agreed that it was long term not something we should continue. She was quickly proceeding towards divorce and I was attempting R.

In one final gesture, she ask me if my wife would notary sign a legal affidavit detailing her affair with her husband for use in the divorce trial, our state is fault/no fault. My wife was initially hesitant, it was all true but reading it damningly blunt. She signed, I mailed, and a few days later the OMW responded thank you, I hope your life gets better regardless of direction you take. I concurred, and we never contacted each other again... that was over 4+ years ago.


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

I think anything is possible with so much emotions involved I have herd stories of BS becoming friends,dating and even marrying OM/OW's spouses.


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

I'm a friend of OMW.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Kind of off tangent , but I'd swear that I read a recounting of a story here where the BH (or maybe BSO, don't think they were actually married, essentially his SO was cheating with one of her college professors) actually wound up marrying OM's daughter.

_Posted via *Topify* using iPhone/iPad_


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

WhiteRaven said:


> I'm a friend of OMW.





When you say friends raven do you mean friends or :smthumbup:


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

xakulax said:


> When you say friends raven do you mean friends or :smthumbup:


I started as :smthumbup: 

But now just a friend.


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

GusPolinski said:


> Kind of off tangent , but I'd swear that I read a recounting of a story here where the BH (or maybe BSO, don't think they were actually married, essentially his SO was cheating with one of her college professors) actually wound up marrying OM's daughter.
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* using iPhone/iPad_


:lol::rofl:


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

GusPolinski said:


> Kind of off tangent , but I'd swear that I read a recounting of a story here where the BH (or maybe BSO, don't think they were actually married, essentially his SO was cheating with one of her college professors) actually wound up marrying OM's daughter.
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* using iPhone/iPad_



That most have been one awkward wedding :rofl:


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

xakulax said:


> That most have been one awkward wedding :rofl:


Would have made one hell of a TAM thread.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Well I was the AP of the woman who became my wife. And I did become a close friend of her husband. And he did know about our affair. 

It transpired that he knew he was dying and pushed his wife into having an affair so she would have someone to look after her. Weird situation but there it was.

He had cheated on her constantly so arranged his own karma bus hit.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

OM / Dad / FIL wasn't invited.

_Posted via *Topify* using iPhone/iPad_


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

MattMatt said:


> Well I was the AP of the woman who became my wife. And I did become a close friend of her husband. And he did know about our affair.
> 
> It transpired that he knew he was dying and pushed his wife into having an affair so she would have someone to look after her. Weird situation but there it was.
> 
> ...


This is..... so complicated.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

WhiteRaven said:


> This is..... so complicated.


His wife also cheated on Matt. Matt's own karma and one more example of the "If he/she will cheat with you, he/she will cheat on you" scenario


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

warlock07 said:


> His wife also cheated on Matt. Matt's own karma and one more example of the "If he/she will cheat with you, he/she will cheat on you" scenario


So.... complicated.


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## LaQueso (Dec 30, 2012)

OW's ex husband doesn't want to get sucked back in by her, he avoids me and my kids when we see him at the store he works at. He used to say hi to us. She is pretty nasty, so I can understand not wanting to deal with her if you've escaped. Her own dog constantly tries to run away! Lol!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

LaQueso said:


> OW's ex husband doesn't want to get sucked back in by her, he avoids me and my kids when we see him at the store he works at. He used to say hi to us. She is pretty nasty, so I can understand not wanting to deal with her if you've escaped. Her own dog constantly tries to run away! Lol!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


OW's cheating on her dog too? :rofl:


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## LaQueso (Dec 30, 2012)

Few can stand the real her. Her ex kept coming up in my Match dating site list and she sounded like a piece of work even if I hadn't known her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BURNT KEP (Oct 3, 2012)

I was sort of friends with mine and it also how I found out it went physical. I am still fb friends with her but haven't talked in over a year.


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## calvin (Jan 7, 2012)

I've become friends with POSOM's long time girlfriend,my wife likes her also.
She's a very sweet girl and had no idea how the POS was,he lied about EVERYTHING,
even day to day stuff.
Its been a positive experience for us all.We all learned a lot about him but more important
we learned a lot about ourselves.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## calvin (Jan 7, 2012)

My wifes never went physical,unless you count three pecks on the lips and my
wife running away because she was scared.
I know how that sounds but its true.
Right now the POSOM's ex is taking her car to a buddy of mine so he can fix it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

WhiteRaven said:


> So.... complicated.


Very complicated. 

Made even more complicated when I realised he was a cousin of mine, who I'd never met.


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## calvin (Jan 7, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> Very complicated.
> 
> Made even more complicated when I realised he was a cousin of mine, who I'd never met.


 Damn M&M,I'm sorry to hear that man....sucks.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

MattMatt said:


> Very complicated.
> 
> Made even more complicated when I realised he was *a cousin of mine, who I'd never met*.


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## calvin (Jan 7, 2012)

Dumb of me to say its been a positive experience.
It was the worst thing I ever went through.
What I ment to say was getting to know the idiots betrayed woman helped
make a very bad situation a little better.
She knows how much it hurts also
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

calvin said:


> Dumb of me to say its been a positive experience.
> It was the worst thing I ever went through.
> What I ment to say was getting to know the idiots betrayed woman helped
> make a very bad situation a little better.
> ...


You took the time and trouble to help her, which was good of you to do that for her.


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## calvin (Jan 7, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> You took the time and trouble to help her, which was good of you to do that for her.


 She is a good person.
Like you M&M......good people.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

MattMatt said:


> Very complicated.
> 
> Made even more complicated when I realised he was a cousin of mine, who I'd never met.


Too... complicated. 
.
.
Why?


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## Rushwater (Feb 11, 2013)

Three years ago, my brother in law cheated on my older sister (she was 46 at the time, him 44). She is a beautiful physican whom takes excellent care of herself as well as her cancer-stricken POSH. While away on business, he had a PA with a virtual stranger. My BIL explained to OW that his wife verbally and emotionally abused him and alienated him. Said OW felt that my BIL's story didn't make much sense and did some Google searching and found my sister's info. One phone call later and my sister's life was changed forever. My POSBIL did the usual blame shifting, blah blah blah.... before asking for forgiveness.... TWO DAYS after breaking down crying and begging forgiveness (about 6 weeks post D-day), he had a PA WITH A NEIGHBOR!!!! The POSOW's BH was looking at his WW's phone and discovered texts back and forth with my POSBIL and immediately exposed to my sister. He and my sister became friends, partially because of the emotional betrayed kinship drama, but also because of the proximity (he lived one street over). Unfortunately, as he and his wife were fighting out what was to become a horribly bitter D, he became more desperate, calling my sister several times a day and even pursuing her sexually. After about two weeks, my sister asked me to call the guy and explain that she wanted no more contact with him. It got ugly. Really ugly. As my sister and my POSBIL were going to counseling and trying to decide on D or R, this guy was threatening law suits and had PI's following them around. Not to say that I do not feel for the poor guy. If you saw the texts (as I did), the things that my POSBIL did to his wife in the bedroom are unspeakable, and quite frankly, impossible for a BH to overcome, IMHO. It's a horrible situation all the way around. For what it's worth, my POSBIL's karma has come around to kick him in the ass... LITERALLY. His cancer has gotten so bad, that he has to wear a colostomy bag for the rest of his life. Idiot.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

WhiteRaven said:


> Too... complicated.
> .
> .
> Why?


My story is on the CWI somewhere, way back, about two years ago.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

If I remember correctly, TheFlood117 had sex with the OMW. 

:smthumbup:


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Having sex with OMW or OWH has come up in a number of threads.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

If I was going to screw the OMW/GF i would be screwing alot of chicks.

Damn serial cheater!


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## Jadiel (Oct 10, 2012)

I tentatively reached out once. When I found my wife was banging some guy named Stephen, I called his GF Molly and told her about it. I explained what had been going on and that as someone who was completely in the dark I felt like she should know. I contacted her on facebook at one point too just to see how she was doing, but she wanted none of it. Fair enough.


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