# Forbidden Crush?



## adameve (Jul 13, 2012)

I am a young man, happily married. My wife is a beautiful woman with great morale and my ideal woman. Nothing at all is lacking in our marriage of 3 years.

Recently, she has gone back to her home country to visit relatives. This is nothing new. She has done so quite frequently and sometimes I go with her. But this time, I stayed to save some extra money. 

Anyway, I have NEVER been tempted to cheat on her. Even now, I don't lust for sex with other women. 

However, a charming young new co worker has joined my company. I had about 2 months to know her. And she is not ideally a woman who I would fall for. But the more I get to know her, she drives me absolutely crazy. I can't figure it out. I mean, we get a long great. She laughs at my jokes, vice versa, and we somehow get on well with each other. She has an adorable smile. It melts my heart each time and my smile always brings out that damn cute smile I can't resist.

She also has a part time job and occasionally asks me to visit her when I have a chance. And I of course do cuz like I said I AM NUTS and can't exactly explain why. It is all innocent stuff we talk about. But she appreciates my listening to her and admitted she confides in me and trusts me more than even her roommate. Hmm...

Like I said before, I never felt tempted to sleep with her even though I find her gorgeous and exotic. But a part of me wants to let her know how I feel. That in another life, she would probably be my girl. I want to have a night (again no sex, maybe hold, hug, a peck maybe?) but I want to be romantic with her and let her know how special she is. But I fear for the repercussions. 

Please advice what to do. I go home every night, sing a bunch of sappy songs (Katey Perry, Leon Lewis, etc). 

Oh ya, she has a boyfriend overseas also so might be that has drawn her to me? Somehow we get along so well. 

So please advice me what to do. Thank you.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I doubt her boyfriend overseas is what has drawn you to her. Lust is what has drawn you in.

You are in an affair, an emotional affair (EA). They are much more distructive to a marriage than as a purely physcial fling. 

If you do not want to hurt your wife, stop this relationship cold turkey.

Otherwise just divorce you wife so you can cuddle all night and not have sex (yea right)


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

^^^ Yup, you are cheating.

How would you feel if your wife wrote something like this about another guy?

Your thoughts about this other girl are not okay. Yes, it is normal to find someone else attractive, but you are taking it way too far. Your thoughts should be focused on your wife... Your "ideal" woman, remember??
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## adameve (Jul 13, 2012)

Yes, you are right. Thank you. I will make the necessary changes. Even if it means losing my new friend.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

It absolutely DOES mean losing your new friend. No visits, no calls, no texts, no chats. NOTHING unless it is absolutely work related, and even then, you keep it SHORT AND CLINICAL. No jokes. No flirting. Nothing. Act as though she has the plague and avoid her at all costs.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

If you cannot do what YIN is telling you, then you need to find a new job to get away from her.

The way it's going you are about to destory your marriage and your wife.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

And no daydreaming about her, either. If she pops into your mind, train yourself to redirect those thoughts to your wife. Try feeling those feelings about her, and not this other woman. The mind is where infidelity ALWAYS starts.

Ele is right - this can destroy your marriage and hurt your wife - and YOU, in the long-term. It's not worth it, especially if you are "happily married".
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ansley (Apr 5, 2010)

What do you say when she asks you to visit her at her part time job? Have you gone? Its obvious to me she knows how you feel and feels the same. Asking you to visit her at her part time job & making sure you know her boyfriend is overseas is a no brainer. 

You and your wife are still honeymooners. Three years is fun times. Enjoy that and forget this woman. Be rude to her to get her away if you have to. It may make waves at work but thats how it goes.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Ansley said:


> *What do you say when she asks you to visit her at her part time job? Have you gone? Its obvious to me she knows how you feel and feels the same. Asking you to visit her at her part time job & making sure you know her boyfriend is overseas is a no brainer. *
> 
> You and your wife are still honeymooners. Three years is fun times. Enjoy that and forget this woman. Be rude to her to get her away if you have to. It may make waves at work but thats how it goes.



:iagree:

Obviously she wants to take things further.
I don't have any problem with light flirting and so forth ,but this has gone way beyond that.
She knows you are attracted to her and there is a lot of chemistry between both of you.

You're leaking gas and she's on fire. If you continue along this path, things will explode.
Three years into marriage is way too early for that. 

After this new flame dies,[AND IT WILL DIE ] your life will be a wreck,and " miss exotic " will simply just move on. And most likely it will be with some other guy in YOUR OFFICE.


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