# My husband’s lack of sex drive



## Rebecca327 (Feb 19, 2021)

I’ll try to keep this short. My husband and I have been married for 21 years. Two years ago he confessed he’s been an alcoholic since a teen. I had no idea!! I know, so weird that I didn’t know but he was a master at hiding it, kept a job, etc. Anyway, we had great sex for the first 12 or so years. We had marital problems for about 6 years- did counseling about 2 years ago and 2 years ago he stopped drinking. Our relationship has gotten much better. He is still in counseling over some childhood trauma (not sexual trauma).
So we only have sex 2 times a month, it’s very orchestrated- has to be on a weekend, we have to have some kind of date first, etc. I am Sooo annoyed by this!! First I prefer 2x a week most weeks. The sex we do have is exactly the same every time- no foreplay, barely kissing - just kinda wham bam. We have discussed this many times with just each other and many times in counseling. He says he’s just not into sex as much without the alcohol and being older. Oh, I’m 52 and he’s 48. I’ve really started considering an affair. He doesn’t hug or kiss hardly ever. I need to be touched!!! Oh, and he is SUPER happy in this marriage now. He’s gets everything he wants- someone to talk to a lot, a best friend, companion, and sex when HE wants. I’m still left unfulfilled. 
Anyone been in this boat?


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## hubbyintrubby (Jul 5, 2019)

First...you're going to get ripped to shreds on this board for thinking about having an affair. So get ready for that.

Second....why have an affair if this has you feeling so unfulfilled? Do you think you can change him into your way of thinking on this? If you think you can, you're looking at a very very uphill battle.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Rebecca327 said:


> I’ll try to keep this short. My husband and I have been married for 21 years. Two years ago he confessed he’s been an alcoholic since a teen. I had no idea!! I know, so weird that I didn’t know but he was a master at hiding it, kept a job, etc. Anyway, we had great sex for the first 12 or so years. We had marital problems for about 6 years- did counseling about 2 years ago and 2 years ago he stopped drinking. Our relationship has gotten much better. He is still in counseling over some childhood trauma (not sexual trauma).
> So we only have sex 2 times a month, it’s very orchestrated- has to be on a weekend, we have to have some kind of date first, etc. I am Sooo annoyed by this!! First I prefer 2x a week most weeks. The sex we do have is exactly the same every time- no foreplay, barely kissing - just kinda wham bam. We have discussed this many times with just each other and many times in counseling. He says he’s just not into sex as much without the alcohol and being older. Oh, I’m 52 and he’s 48. I’ve really started considering an affair. He doesn’t hug or kiss hardly ever. I need to be touched!!! Oh, and he is SUPER happy in this marriage now. He’s gets everything he wants- someone to talk to a lot, a best friend, companion, and sex when HE wants. I’m still left unfulfilled.
> Anyone been in this boat?


If you are so unfulfilled, and he has no interest in changing, then divorce. Cheating is not the answer. 

If he doesn't know how serious these issues are, tell him. Don't just assume he must know or has picked up on your hints.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

ask him to start drinking again... sorry, bad joke!


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Just tell him if he doesn’t take care of your needs sexually it’s a deal breaker for you. Ask him if there is anything you can change about your behavior that is limiting him from being more active. Use “I feel...” a lot when you talk to him rather than “You do...”. Talk about how the lack of sex makes you feel and focus on that rather than his behavior.

Going from 1x a week to 2x to me seems doable if you’re really happy with 2x. I thought I would make a similar change but in reality I want it every day. Now at a happy medium of almost every day so maybe 5x a week and that is fine. This is going from 2-4x a month.

Let him know if he’s not getting you there and suggest how he can improve: oral, hand technique, toys, etc... As a woman who is also the sexual pursuer you need to make your orgasm your priority and if you want him involved and he’s not doing it you need to search for ways to help him.

For a guy who is the pursuer I have the opposite advice. Use whatever science you need to in order to make sure every session she has an orgasm (or more if she wants). In my case this has meant asking her help in improving my hand techniques, using condoms sometimes to get past her hang ups, introducing toys to the bedroom, working on myself so I can last longer in PIV.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

it's weird, because without the drink he should be more up to it, not the other way round. Ok, maybe he is more self-conscious, but hey, sex should be a lot better. That said, I have a friend who was a heavy drinker and when he got sober, he realised he didn't really fancy his wife anymore. With the drink, it was fine, without he just didn't like her.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Rebecca327 said:


> So we only have sex 2 times a month, it’s very orchestrated- has to be on a weekend, we have to have some kind of date first, etc. I am Sooo annoyed by this!! First I prefer 2x a week most weeks. The sex we do have is exactly the same every time- no foreplay, barely kissing - just kinda wham bam.


I doubt I have any helpful advice... in my opinion your husband may struggle with his self confidence when combined with being vulnerable around you. As in being sober and naked may give him some sort of anxiety. He copes with this by forming a routine that quenches his desire as efficiently as possible. Going out on a date is likely a distraction because then perhaps he feels he is pleasuring you with food or getting out of the house as opposed to doing that himself. 

Here are some things that may help:

Take responsibility for your own pleasure and be willing to share that with him. As in pleasure yourself in front of him. This may help take away some of his anxiety about being vulnerable in front of you (if that is the case).
Have a discussion about one-sided experiences. As in you have sex in a way that only focuses on one person. This is generally prompted by the person that wants to receive pleasure as a favor with the understanding that it will likely not be mutually arousing for the person giving the pleasure. (This can be very challenging ego-wise, but it is important to know how to accept pleasure and be easy to please) It seems like your husband it good at this, but that you may be the one that needs to work on it. 

At the end of the day, pleasure should be used to compliment each other and build each other's self confidence. When one gets demanding with pleasure it becomes a chore as well as a source of anxiety for the other. 

My marriage is the other way around in that I generally have more desire than my wife. We now have a very thorough understanding of each other's ideal frequency and how that impacts the dynamics of our marriage. If I need a higher frequency than she is able to enjoy, I have to approach that with an understanding that some intimacy will be one sided and that I should not attempt to pleasure her. If she responds and gets in the mood then that is great and if not I get to be selfish and just focus on me (which she will do in a loving way). Historically I used to get upset if she couldn't get in the mood and refuse any of her attempts to make me happy (as I would insist on waiting until a better time). 

What I am getting at is if you want more sex than your husband's libido allows for, then you need to be careful about trying to please him or insist that he be aroused. You need to work out a way that he can please you, and you need to mentally condition yourself to be easy to please. Even if that means you sometimes take responsibility for some of your own pleasure in a way that can be shared and compliment your spouse's desirability. As in, "I desire you a lot, let me share that with you and show you how happy it makes me!"

Stay away from, "I desire you a lot and you frustrate me to no end by not being enough for me!"


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## Rebecca327 (Feb 19, 2021)

hubbyintrubby said:


> First...you're going to get ripped to shreds on this board for thinking about having an affair. So get ready for that.
> 
> Second....why have an affair if this has you feeling so unfulfilled? Do you think you can change him into your way of thinking on this? If you think you can, you're looking at a very very uphill battle.


Because we are really good together now, great friends. I don’t want to loose him, I just need more affection and sex


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## Rebecca327 (Feb 19, 2021)

badsanta said:


> I doubt I have any helpful advice... in my opinion your husband may struggle with his self confidence when combined with being vulnerable around you. As in being sober and naked may give him some sort of anxiety. He copes with this by forming a routine that quenches his desire as efficiently as possible. Going out on a date is likely a distraction because then perhaps he feels he is pleasuring you with food or getting out of the house as opposed to doing that himself.
> 
> Here are some things that may help:
> 
> ...


VERY helpful!! First, I think u are right about his insecurities now without drinking. He often wants me to wear a mask which was never done before. Ok, one sided experiences- uugghh this seems awkward. So I just explain that to him and then ask him to just pleasure me when he doesn’t feel like sex? Do people really do this? I mean it does seem like a good option but will a man really take the time to do all that when he isn’t interested in sex?
I am pretty easy to please. That’s part of the problem. I guess because we’ve been together so long he can make me orgasim in about 3-5 minutes. I don’t want that! I want foreplay and touching for at about 10-15 minutes before the orgasim. How do I get that?


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Hmm... I think you should just tell him straight up what you want. The difficulty might be if you’re not sure exactly or you want him to be dominant. Make sure to talk with him when he has time outside of the bedroom. If it’s not a good time have him suggest a time.

If you want foreplay let him know what type. I get off on my wife responding to what I am doing and will spend a good 20 minutes on that unless she drags me to bed.


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## Rebecca327 (Feb 19, 2021)

ccpowerslave said:


> Hmm... I think you should just tell him straight up what you want. The difficulty might be if you’re not sure exactly or you want him to be dominant. Make sure to talk with him when he has time outside of the bedroom. If it’s not a good time have him suggest a time.
> 
> If you want foreplay let him know what type. I get off on my wife responding to what I am doing and will spend a good 20 minutes on that unless she drags me to bed.


We have had many conversations, just the 2 of us and with our marriage counselor. It has been a little while since the last one though. I have given him some examples but barely.

should I mention that I’m considering other options such as an affair or just talking to a man on the phone as I masterbate? I just want him to understand how real this is. I feel like we have a talk and then he forgets about it.


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## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

Other than your sex life are y’all happy? If you are prepare to destroy that by suggesting affairs and/or phone sex with someone else. Just my 2 cents.


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## Rebecca327 (Feb 19, 2021)

Torninhalf said:


> Other than your sex life are y’all happy? If you are prepare to destroy that by suggesting affairs and/or phone sex with someone else. Just my 2 cents.


Yes, other than sex we are happy. What do I say to make it stick? To make him know how serious this is?


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## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

Rebecca327 said:


> Yes, other than sex we are happy. What do I say to make it stick? To make him know how serious this is?


You need to decide if it is a deal breaker in your marriage and then tell him that. Cheating isn’t the answer. Explain to him how it is a necessary part of the marriage to you. How was your sex life before you married?


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## Rebecca327 (Feb 19, 2021)

Torninhalf said:


> You need to decide if it is a deal breaker in your marriage and then tell him that. Cheating isn’t the answer. Explain to him how it is a necessary part of the marriage to you. How was your sex life before you married?


Pretty good for the first 7-8 years of our marriage


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## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

Rebecca327 said:


> Pretty good for the first 7-8 years of our marriage


I think perhaps the lack of alcohol does play a roll. It’s something he probably always did drunk. May even be a bit of a trigger for him. I think a more gentle approach would work better than suggesting some of the things you are suggesting.


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## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

What happened after 7-8 years, it seems his behaviour changed? 

And sorry, he is wanting you to wear a mask during sex, is that right? Is he physically attracted to you when you’re not having sex? Eg does he make eye contact when you talk, is he affectionate, compliments your appearance etc?


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Well the easy one to make stick is divorce. If this doesn’t change then the relationship is over. One way or the other that will fix things.

You can also suggest an open relationship I guess but I would never do that myself. I don’t want to be with multiple partners and I don’t want to outsource sex when my wife is physically capable.


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## Rebecca327 (Feb 19, 2021)

The subject came up and I told him. I basically said I don’t really want to have sex for a while. At first he just said “ok”. 😱😡 I said don’t you even want to know why??!! He said he’s known I haven’t been happy with it but he has all these intimacy issues. He doesn’t like physical touch very much. 
he asked me if it was a deal breaker and I told him I don’t know yet. He endedup saying this is how I am right now. And so I said well I’m telling you what I need. He said he’ll talk to his counselor on Tuesday about it. 
FYI I’ve asked many times in the last few monthsto be invited so we could have a couple session. Still not invited.


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## AndStilliRise (Nov 9, 2020)

Rebecca327 said:


> I’ll try to keep this short. My husband and I have been married for 21 years. Two years ago he confessed he’s been an alcoholic since a teen. I had no idea!! I know, so weird that I didn’t know but he was a master at hiding it, kept a job, etc. Anyway, we had great sex for the first 12 or so years. We had marital problems for about 6 years- did counseling about 2 years ago and 2 years ago he stopped drinking. Our relationship has gotten much better. He is still in counseling over some childhood trauma (not sexual trauma).
> So we only have sex 2 times a month, it’s very orchestrated- has to be on a weekend, we have to have some kind of date first, etc. I am Sooo annoyed by this!! First I prefer 2x a week most weeks. The sex we do have is exactly the same every time- no foreplay, barely kissing - just kinda wham bam. We have discussed this many times with just each other and many times in counseling. He says he’s just not into sex as much without the alcohol and being older. Oh, I’m 52 and he’s 48. I’ve really started considering an affair. He doesn’t hug or kiss hardly ever. I need to be touched!!! Oh, and he is SUPER happy in this marriage now. He’s gets everything he wants- someone to talk to a lot, a best friend, companion, and sex when HE wants. I’m still left unfulfilled.
> Anyone been in this boat?


He likely has a hidden porn addiction as well. He hid his alcoholism from you for years so it's not out of the question. It is also very typical to have multiple addictions and porn/sex with alcoholism tends to be a common combination.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

What's with the mask? Is this a covid type mask or halloween type mask or,,,?


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

I was thinking maybe one of those plastic horse heads from the Harlem Shake videos.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Rebecca327 said:


> Do people really do this? I mean it does seem like a good option but will a man really take the time to do all that when he isn’t interested in sex?


Some will. I'll spend 1-2 hours on my wife and sometimes it leads to more but often it doesn't. That doesn't mean your husband will though. He's hiding whatever his issues are and you will have issues until that stops and the issues are dealt with.

His issues could be anything, but whatever they are, he doesn't want you to know. Maybe he's still working on figuring them out but they are obviously hard for him to share.

If this is a cause of his intimacy issues, and he's working on it in therapy, then you may just have to give him time and understanding. Sometimes my wife talks about something with her IC and out of the blue I can't touch her thighs for 2-3 months. Or something will come to mind and x activity is off the table for months.



Rebecca327 said:


> should I mention that I’m considering other options such as an affair or just talking to a man on the phone as I masterbate?


STOP considering those "options". They shouldn't even be options.

Do you know what his "childhood issues" are? Or at least what he has admitted to? A ton of people drink to bury those issues, so it's not surprising that he can no longer hide them. Telling him you're going to leave or cheat could very well make things worse.

You can't stick around forever but I would start by telling him you are trying to be patient but you need better communication of these issues, what he's dealing with and what he needs from you.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Blondilocks said:


> What's with the mask? Is this a covid type mask or halloween type mask or,,,?


I assumed it would be some kinky thing? To get him going...


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

In Absentia said:


> I assumed it would be some kinky thing? To get him going...


I'm hoping it isn't his version of having her put a bag over her head.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Blondilocks said:


> I'm hoping it isn't his version of having her put a bag over her head.


She said mask, not hood... but it sounds a tad strange...


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## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

ccpowerslave said:


> Well the easy one to make stick is divorce. If this doesn’t change then the relationship is over. One way or the other that will fix things.
> 
> You can also suggest an open relationship I guess but I would never do that myself. I don’t want to be with multiple partners and I don’t want to outsource sex when my wife is physically capable.


The way I view divorce is that it is OK if you are young and have no children and you are confident you can get a young man with no children. Els you end up with a large extended family of both adults and kids each having their own agenda on you. If I were to marry a man who has two children by his ex and I current have two by my would then be ex, that means 5 adults to interact with when there was only one before and who knows how many more kids when there was only 2 before. NO. If I divorce due to any issue at all, I would not go into another relationship.


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## Jimhardc (Oct 16, 2014)

Torninhalf said:


> Other than your sex life are y’all happy? If you are prepare to destroy that by suggesting affairs and/or phone sex with someone else. Just my 2 cents.


I Agree if everything else in your marriage is what you’ve always wanted in a marriage with the exception of sex frequency and ”adventure” in the bedroom. A talk about you bringing someone in to satisfy you may just light the fuse that blows up your life.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Rebecca327 said:


> VERY helpful!! First, I think u are right about his insecurities now without drinking. He often wants me to wear a mask which was never done before. Ok, one sided experiences- uugghh this seems awkward. So I just explain that to him and then ask him to just pleasure me when he doesn’t feel like sex? Do people really do this? I mean it does seem like a good option but will a man really take the time to do all that when he isn’t interested in sex?
> I am pretty easy to please. That’s part of the problem. I guess because we’ve been together so long he can make me orgasim in about 3-5 minutes. I don’t want that! I want foreplay and touching for at about 10-15 minutes before the orgasim. How do I get that?


I have read many books and indeed a lot boils down to self confidence. In particular in the ability to confidently talk about your desires as well as express them physically. 

Psychology books often use the analogy of gift giving. Some people are easy to buy a gift for while others are extremely challenging. So ask yourself if you and your spouse are good at giving each other gifts, or if you struggle to get something meaningful to each other. Thinking through that will help reveal how confident each of you are at sharing and discovering the things you each enjoy for yourselves. Some folks feel undeserving and never speak up for themselves, and as a result others sometimes feel it is impossible to buy a gift for them. 

The dynamics of sexuality go a step further in that as a couple you have to give each other the confidence to be sexually selfish in the presence of the other. Most people tend to focus too much on making the other person happy and as a result can become difficult to please each other as a couple (because neither knows what the other wants and both want to please each other while feeling underserving of pleasure themself).

So YES, do work on one-sided experiences. DO tell your husband to focus on foreplay. Perhaps talk to him about the idea of "edging" which is when someone sustains a high level of arousal while purposely delaying climax. Odds are as a result you may have more than one climax when that happens and he should respond to that in a way that compels him to join in the action at some point. He may not respond every time, but you can also encourage him to enjoy one-sided experiences so that you learn more about what he likes if he is allowed to be selfish with receiving pleasure. 

It is actually a difficult thing to do. Particularly realizing that some of your pleasure may come at making your partner uncomfortable. But many of these concerns are unfounded and come from within our own feeling of self doubt of being undeserving of pleasure. If something makes your partner uncomfortable, he will tell you. Otherwise he is likely enjoying himself by learning to give you the gift of pleasure.

Regards, 
Badsanta


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Rebecca327 said:


> How do I get that?


PS: Therapists often assign couples exercises to gain skills and confidence via nonsexual intimacy such as a back rub. I think the progression goes like this:


touching to give pleasure (as in a back rub)
touching to receive pleasure (as in responding to a partner's pleasure)
touching to mutually give and receive pleasure (as in this is where the magic happens!)


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Rebecca327 said:


> He often wants me to wear a mask which was never done before.


If this is a blindfold, it means that he feels uncomfortable being seen. This would indicate that he feels ashamed of his sexuality and you may need to work on that. 

If it is an ornate mask (similar to what someone would wear in a masquerade), he may be attempting to role play and imagine you as someone else. Nothing wrong with this, but if this is the case it should be discussed openly. Certain folks are all about role play and fantasy scenarios, and there are some personalities that are incompatible with that. His previous use of alcohol may have hidden/obscured this. 

There are three modes of lovemaking that have been identified by some psychologists:

Sensation based - as in an eyes closed and meditational experience (similar to tantric sex which is very elaborate with touching and meditation)
Partner based - what is commonly known as a romantic attraction between two people 
Role play - folks that enjoy pretending to be someone else (like a fireman rescuing a woman trapped in her shower without water)

People tend to be one of those three and some combinations are not very compatible. 

Badsanta


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## AndStilliRise (Nov 9, 2020)

badsanta said:


> If this is a blindfold, it means that he feels uncomfortable being seen. This would indicate that he feels ashamed of his sexuality and you may need to work on that.
> 
> Badsanta[/LIST]


I 100% disagree. Covering her face takes away who she is so he can freely fantasize about whoever he wants to without distractions. It's a purely selfish move.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

AndStilliRise said:


> I 100% disagree. Covering her face takes away who she is so he can freely fantasize about whoever he wants to without distractions. It's a purely selfish move.


As I mentioned above and expanding on your idea of a blindfold, then that would be a form of role play. 

"Partner replacement" is an extremely common fantasy. Some couples can play with that idea openly (those who enjoy role play) and there are others that are vehemently incompatible with the idea of that (partner based). 

However at the end of the day, there are many folks that feel really awkward with a partner staring or watching right at them during pleasure and it makes it difficult to maintain arousal. That is not about wanting to fantasize about someone else, it is about needing a little privacy in order to allow yourself to enjoy pleasure. Society also tends to condition people that sexuality and pleasure is something that needs to be kept out of sight and not seen by others as something you do in private. That conditioning can also lend someone to want to maintain that privacy even with a spouse.


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## lovebird (Mar 1, 2021)

Will you really feel happy even if you find one lover that can sexually satisfy you? A middle-aged man’s libido tends to decrease as he gets old; it is natural. It seems that he did not make serious mistakes I think you should focus on the sex quality instead of the sex frequency. I can feel that you still love your man although you don’t feel sexually fulfilled. So why not try harder to arouse your man sexually instead of seeking an affair? By the way, it is inadvisable to skip foreplay, whether you or your spouse wants to have sex; this can easily make your man feel bored of the sex life.
In my opinion, for him, you are becoming more emotionally unattractive than sexually unattractive. And now that you and your husband have got stuck in a sexual rut, you might consider how to change yourself and bring something fresh into your married life. By the way, try to make him feel like a man again by showing his masculine traits up.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

lovebird said:


> Will you really feel happy even if you find one lover that can sexually satisfy you? A middle-aged man’s libido tends to decrease as he gets old; it is natural. It seems that he did not make serious mistakes I think you should focus on the sex quality instead of the sex frequency. I can feel that you still love your man although you don’t feel sexually fulfilled. So why not try harder to arouse your man sexually instead of seeking an affair? By the way, it is inadvisable to skip foreplay, whether you or your spouse wants to have sex; this can easily make your man feel bored of the sex life.
> In my opinion, for him, you are becoming more emotionally unattractive than sexually unattractive. And now that you and your husband have got stuck in a sexual rut, you might consider how to change yourself and bring something fresh into your married life. By the way, try to make him feel like a man again by showing his masculine traits up.


Wow, did you really just suggest she try harder to arouse him-- like it's her that's causing him to not want sex? And that SHE needs to "make him feel like a man again" whatever the **** that means 😛

Did you read the original post explaining her husband is the one not into any foreplay?

And- there are pleeeeeeenty of men that age who want sex more frequently.

Your advice is some of the worst I've seen lately.


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## lovebird (Mar 1, 2021)

Livvie said:


> Wow, did you really just suggest she try harder to arouse him-- like it's her that's causing him to not want sex? And that SHE needs to "make him feel like a man again" whatever the **** that means 😛
> 
> Did you read the original post explaining her husband is the one not into any foreplay?
> 
> ...


Ok,I think the problem just lies in a mismatch of sex drive; I wish it can be solved by both sides ultimatedly; an affair is not a solution.
Of course, conclusions about every man's sex drive can not be generalised. I just talk about the general trend.


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## AndStilliRise (Nov 9, 2020)

Livvie said:


> Wow, did you really just suggest she try harder to arouse him-- like it's her that's causing him to not want sex? And that SHE needs to "make him feel like a man again" whatever the **** that means
> 
> Did you read the original post explaining her husband is the one not into any foreplay?
> 
> ...


You win the response of the day. 100% truth right here.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Livvie said:


> And- there are pleeeeeeenty of men that age who want sex more frequently.


<Raises hand>


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## Hiner112 (Nov 17, 2019)

Livvie said:


> And- there are pleeeeeeenty of men that age who want sex more frequently.


I'm not quite that old being only 43 and I'm actually single right now so I can't test this but I would be surprised if a couple times a month would be OK. I'm relatively certain I would _want_ to do something 5-ish days a week, _could_ participate with a willing partner about twice that, and would be willing to do other things with a motivated partner often enough to make a full time job difficult. All of this would only be practical if we lived together of course.


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

Blondilocks said:


> What's with the mask? Is this a covid type mask or halloween type mask or,,,?



Avoiding eye contact, not wanting to be seen. A way to have sex without emotional intimacy. Puts a barrier between you.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Why do people jump to all this other crap! Its porn....he is gay....he is cheating.....If a man is not interrested in sex and he once was....HELLO!!!... GET HIS TESTOSTERONE LEVELS CHECKED!!! First and foremost. I had to start injections at 37....my urologist at 34.

I could still have sex....erection may not be as hard. But you could have all 12 months Playmates in my living room naked and i would tell them they are blocking the TV.

If guy seems not interrested...
Check for Low T ....FIRST!


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