# Unconventional Marriages



## peter_jay (Oct 15, 2011)

Anyone have any stories of unconventional marriage? Would love to hear from some people whose marriages are not considered part of the "norm" by society


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

There are a few couples here who practice "unconventional" marriage... The only other example I really know of is a celebrity example... Will and Jada Smith. (Who knew)?


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## ToriAnne (Oct 15, 2011)

We live in separate houses? Would you consider that unconventional? Marriage is what I make it, not what Hallmark says it is.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

The missus and I are anything but the "norm"
My challenge here is to make sure I don't start comparing my marriage to others unless really necessary, as dynamics which may work for some may not work for mine. Still, there have been other "weird" married folk who have given great advice, considering how "weird" my marriage is with my wife.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

peter_jay said:


> Anyone have any stories of unconventional marriage? Would love to hear from some people whose marriages are not considered part of the "norm" by society


None with a happy ending.

Define unconventional, be more specific.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

ToriAnne said:


> We live in separate houses? Would you consider that unconventional? Marriage is what I make it, not what Hallmark says it is.


Why do you live in separate houses? Children? How far apart? How long has this been going on?


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## ToriAnne (Oct 15, 2011)

chapparal said:


> Why do you live in separate houses? Children? How far apart? How long has this been going on?


I like things organic, natural and unadulterated. He just LOVES his chemicals. I like things my way. And he likes things his way. We only live a block away from each other. We have been doing it 5 years and it works out great! Our kids are grown and gone. Also we work opposite shifts! I work graveyard and he works days.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

ToriAnne said:


> I like things organic, natural and unadulterated. He just LOVES his chemicals. I like things my way. And he likes things his way. We only live a block away from each other. We have been doing it 5 years and it works out great! Our kids are grown and gone. Also we work opposite shifts! I work graveyard and he works days.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Does your husband like it? Does he get lonely?


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Wow, married and single at the same time. No thanks. Glad it's working for you.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

To each his own...I wouldn't bother to get married if I wanted to live alone.

We are a mixed race couple, which is only unconventional because it happens much less often than a couple of the same race.


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## ToriAnne (Oct 15, 2011)

Mixed race is not unconventional where I live. My kids aree part Japanese so they are mixed. But please don't dog on my situation. I am not single, I don't behave as such. My husband did not like it at first, but he has seen how it works better for BOTH of us. He can work a 6am-2pm or 2pm-10pm shift. I work 7pm-7:30am shift. He wants to mow, use his blower, all of his power tools when I am sleeping. Try 4 hours of sleep daily when you work in ICU. I want to clean house, do my laundry, do my shopping, listen to music during his sleep time. Which one of us has to change in order to accomodate the other? I didn't WANT to live 'alone' first year down, but I had to change something or it was over. Now it's so nice. We go back and forth, we just took a couple of vacations over the last month and a half. I work only 3 days a week, plus pick up extra, so I have plenty of time to spend with him & I do just that. We surprise each other with fun things & enjoy our time. We make our marriage, not polite society or media. Thank you for all of the support.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

^ Helena Bonham Carter, is that you? I saw an interview with Tim Burton/Helena Bonham Carter who live separately but are married. Perhaps traditional marriage itself, is actually becoming the unconventional.

Daily Mail: How One Million Couples Live in Separate Homes


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

i think we are soooo not the norm...we dated for 3 years, with a small break, lived together for 4 years, had a baby in that time, then got married.

i never really wanted to get married, he kinda did...but we wanted to be together, and eventually just said, make the appointment at the jop, and find out all the information by the time i get home from work...or else.

we talked about just about everything [no one can talk about everything] kids, religon, politics, world views, our ideal mate, money, family dymanics, he is my rock and my shield. and i am his.

we are different people coming together as one. i am strong willed, and dont like to be fenced in, he likes boundries. we butt heads over everything. but we wanted to do it all together.

we have lived with my mom on and off during the last 10 or so years, had triplets...somewhere along the line we remembered, it is us against the world.

we are a mixed race couple..im german and american white and black. his mother continues to hate me..[pretty normal]. growing up it was just me and my mom..he has soooo many family members, i have yet to meet them all.

unconventional??? i would say no, but where we are from..yes.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

We met in October, started dating in December, pregnant by February, living together by March  He was 24, I was 31. We were married the next June (a year later) and that was that. He's Salvadoran and I'm white-bread-no-crust. He grew up in the ghetto, I grew up in upper middle class. lol. 

unconventional or whatever, it's pretty awesome.


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## chattycathy (Aug 19, 2011)

LOL.

Uh, I live in one town and my H has lived for two years in another with his mistress of ten years (who I found out about two years ago just before I told him to move out unless the affair ended). I never have contact with him but we are not even legally separated. We are married.

is that unconventional? I bet there are a lot of married people like us actually.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

ToriAnne said:


> Mixed race is not unconventional where I live. My kids aree part Japanese so they are mixed. But please don't dog on my situation. I am not single, I don't behave as such. My husband did not like it at first, but he has seen how it works better for BOTH of us. He can work a 6am-2pm or 2pm-10pm shift. I work 7pm-7:30am shift. He wants to mow, use his blower, all of his power tools when I am sleeping. Try 4 hours of sleep daily when you work in ICU. I want to clean house, do my laundry, do my shopping, listen to music during his sleep time. Which one of us has to change in order to accomodate the other? I didn't WANT to live 'alone' first year down, but I had to change something or it was over. Now it's so nice. We go back and forth, we just took a couple of vacations over the last month and a half. I work only 3 days a week, plus pick up extra, so I have plenty of time to spend with him & I do just that. We surprise each other with fun things & enjoy our time. We make our marriage, not polite society or media. Thank you for all of the support.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Just because you are in a mixed couple, it does not mean that other people are as often.

Mixed couples account for less than 8% of marriages in the US.


If you are happy with your marriage, our opinions mean nothing. However we are entitled to our beliefs, just as you are entitled to yours.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I always feel like Ricky and Lucy LOL


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## ToriAnne (Oct 15, 2011)

I did not state you are not entitled to your beliefs at any time. I support all relationships regardless of if they are within my belief system or outside of it. I know when I made the decision to be married & living separate 'normal' people would find it weird & even uncomfortable. What you had posted I found to be a bit judgemental & hurt. Maybe I am being overly sensitive and if so please accept my apologies for being so. The way we live is not for everybody & I get that, but statements such as, 'I wouln't bother getting married if I wanted to live alone'. When we first lived together we both had kids from previous marriages & it turned into a living nightmare. Not because of his kid. I got along great with his son. It was the double standards & me getting stuck in the middle of everything. Basically, I felt as if I was just supposed to slide into a role he had defined in his head & not put up a fuss about it. There is more to it than that, but I felt I had no other options. We tried counseling, didn't work. I thought to get something I never had, I had to do something I've never done. I took a leap of faith & it worked. If I had wanted to be alone, I never would have gotten married. We actually spend more time together now than when we lived together. As far as mixed 'married' couples being less than 8% of all marriages in the US, that may be true, but what is the % of mixed relationships who are married in commitment, but not on paper? It is normal in the places I have lived and I am all for what makes people happy even if it doesn't agree with what I would personally do. Once again, my apologies if I had taken what you said too personally.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

No need to apologize.

When you post on a forum, you have to be prepared that some people may not like what you are describing. 

When I start a sentence with "I", it means that I am only speaking of *my own views*. It is in no way a judgement about what you choose to do. 

While you did not explicitly state that people are not entitled to their opinions, you did tell members not to speak a certain way about your marriage. Just as you can do whatever you like, we can say what we think. That is all I meant.

I know how it feels to get constant disapproval for a lifestyle choice. You wouldn't believe the things parents say to us, because we are a childfree couple. I have been told that I am less of a woman, a lesbian or evil. It sounds like your marriage works well for you and your husband. Keep enjoying that.:smthumbup:


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## omega (Aug 2, 2011)

My story is like *that_girl*'s: we met in November, got engaged 4 days later, married in April (5 months later). When we met, he didn't believe in marriage, but he changed his mind in about 72 hours. He didn't have the ring until a few weeks later because he designed it himself and it took a while for them to make it, but we were engaged on Day 4 of our acquaintance.

Also, we were never boyfriend/girlfriend. We went straight from "two people who just met" to "engaged."

Other than that... well, we are from different continents, speak different mother languages, etc. But that's not so unconventional anymore.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

FirstYearDown said:


> No need to apologize.
> 
> When you post on a forum, you have to be prepared that some people may not like what you are describing.
> 
> ...


Well, if you are an evil lesbian, I don't know why people would want you to have children 



:rofl:


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

omega said:


> My story is like *that_girl*'s: we met in November, got engaged 4 days later, married in April (5 months later). When we met, he didn't believe in marriage, but he changed his mind in about 72 hours. He didn't have the ring until a few weeks later because he designed it himself and it took a while for them to make it, but we were engaged on Day 4 of our acquaintance.
> 
> Also, we were never boyfriend/girlfriend. We went straight from "two people who just met" to "engaged."
> 
> Other than that... well, we are from different continents, speak different mother languages, etc. But that's not so unconventional anymore.


Wow, that is very quick. What made you decide to rush into marriage?
It seems like such a serious commitment to someone you barely know. Of course, every marriage is a leap of faith.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

that_girl said:


> I always feel like Ricky and Lucy LOL


You gots alots of esplainin' to do!


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## omega (Aug 2, 2011)

*FirstYearDown*, yes it was lightning fast! I can't explain it except that we both *knew* and every day I fall in love with him even more.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

Good for you! Glad you have a marriage that is straight out of a rom com film. :smthumbup: How romantic!


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## zandz2010 (Dec 13, 2012)

*Re: Unconventional Marriages seperate homes*

I have been dating a wonderful man now for 6 months and even though its early we have been discussing marriage options to know whether to continue relationship or not. We have 8 kids between us and we are both afraid the burden of that many people in a household may be to much and not fair to the kids. Something we have mentioned briefly is marriages where we have separate houses. Our thought are the kids always have there space and don't have another issue to deal with after divorce. Just getting ideas at this point. Hoping to find someone out there that has dealt with either this many kids and/or done the separate houses thing. Our kids ages are 3 yr old twins, 10, 10, 11, 12, 13, 15. Yes you read that right. LOL I would love some feedback


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

My husband has a better ass than me.

Is that unconventional?


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

My husband is a cross dresser.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Zandz have you thought about buying a duplex?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## zandz2010 (Dec 13, 2012)

Emerald said:


> My husband has a better ass than me.
> 
> Is that unconventional?


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## zandz2010 (Dec 13, 2012)

Do u not have anything better to do?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## krismimo (Jan 26, 2011)

Oh yes! My husband is about 20 years older than me been married for about 2 years together for four, oh and I gave him my kidney as of this year. I think that might count


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