# Avodance at the supermarket?



## Mr.PotentialFulfilled (Jan 5, 2010)

I keep on running into a very attractive high school acquaintance at the supermarket. I saw her once again the other day. I don't know if I am paranoid but I was wondering if she didn't want to talk to me since we run into each other almost every time. MY EGO IS TOO BIG FOR THAT. LOL How do I handle it next time I see her? Should I not say hello? Should I just act cool and say "can't talk now..." I don't want to say "oh hello" every time I see her, especially if she don't want to talk.


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## Leahdorus (Jul 28, 2008)

Do you want to say hello? Then say hello. If you don't, then don't, and don't worry about it. I'm not sure what the issue is. If you say hello each time and she doesn't reply, then she's probably not interested in chatting. Seems fairly straightforward to me...


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## jfv (May 29, 2012)

Are you married? Your answer to this question i'm sure will determine what type of responses you get


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## Juicer (May 2, 2012)

I am quite scared of supermarkets myself, but for a rather different reason...:rofl:

Why don't you just try talking with her and maybe ask if you two can meet up for coffee or something? Maybe lunch? Worst thing she can do is say no. 

And make sure she isn't wearing a wedding ring. That is a big one.


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## Mr.PotentialFulfilled (Jan 5, 2010)

I just don't want to get the cold shoulder from her. I'm not looking for lunch, or an EM. But my large frail ego would really be pissed off if she thinks I'm so desperate that I need to stop and have her chat, chat chat with me each time we run into each other. :scratchhead:


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

ashamedbuthonest said:


> I just don't want to get the cold shoulder from her. I'm not looking for lunch, or an EM. But my large frail ego would really be pissed off if she thinks I'm so desperate that I need to stop and have her chat, chat chat with me each time we run into each other. :scratchhead:


who cares what she thinks. sounds like you have a crush.


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## Mistys dad (Dec 2, 2011)

You can take your best shot and* possibly *go down in flames.

Or

You can be a wimp and guarantee that absolutely nothing will happen, ever.

I mean really, "Hey! How ya doing? Listen, after I finish shopping, I was heading to get a coffee, want to meet me there and catch up?"

She says" Yea, that sounds great"- You and your fagile ego are on a roll.

She says "No, I'm really busy"- You say "Well, maybe some other time, I drink lots of coffee" You and your ego move on with the comforting thought that at least you tried.


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## Mistys dad (Dec 2, 2011)

and if you already have a wife,

don't be a douche.


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

ashamedbuthonest said:


> I keep on running into a very attractive high school acquaintance at the supermarket. I saw her once again the other day. I don't know if I am paranoid but I was wondering if she didn't want to talk to me since we run into each other almost every time. MY EGO IS TOO BIG FOR THAT. LOL How do I handle it next time I see her? Should I not say hello? Should I just act cool and say "can't talk now..." I don't want to say "oh hello" every time I see her, especially if she don't want to talk.


Your profile says you are married. Why don't you ask your wife what she thinks you should do?


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

You don't want to seem desperate... and yet you are. Your ego can't stand the fact that she isn't interested in chatting? Take a hint, leave her alone, and take the blow to your ego. You sound narcissitic to me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## caseyjohnso (Oct 24, 2012)

I am quite scared of supermarkets myself, but for a rather different reason


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

Your ego is too big? Sounds like your ego is too frail. But more importantly, you're a married guy asking TAM how to hit on a woman. Are you serious?


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Yes. The ego isn't to big IMO. It seems to frail.

Don't know if your married or not, and no dispespect, but:

1. This woman is hot.
2. Your too scared to talk to her.
3. Your too scared she will say no.

Sounds like the relationship is over before it's started. If you show absolutely no confidence, then your sex rank against this woman is about 4 points lower than it needs to be.

Forgedaboudit! You have no chance!

Now...if you showed confidence of character and didn't come across as emotionally weak....then maybe I'd post differently......hmmmmm.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

Just go up to her and make some dumb remark about meeting up all the time and ask her out for coffee or whatever you single people do....uh ermmmm if you are single.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

So ashamedbuthonest,

Here is what you do. You ask her if she's Mary Rottencrotch that you went to school with.

You bring up some little quirky scandal from HS to share a mutual laugh.

Ask her about how you tell if a melon is ripe or not. If she doesn't know, you have a mutual laugh about how no one really knows.

After about 10 minutes of this, it's only NATURAL to get a coffee at the cafe in the supermarket. You tell her you are getting one and she can tag along if she wants.

Then you catch up on your job, your dreams, the things that didn't pan out like you thought in HS.

(Quick tip: Aisle 14 has cosmetics. Use a skin appropriate bronzer to hide the pale wedding ring mark.)

You casually mention that you stop by EVERY Thursday about this time. Just a comment. Certainly nothing PLANNED about that.

But then you mention that THIS coming Thursday, you want to come during lunch at around 11. Ask offhandedly when she comes by.

Well, NO ONE should shop when they are hungry, so you invite her to that charming little Tex Mex place you've been thinking about taking your wife. But why waste it on her?

So you suggest lunch with this woman and have a pleasant meal where you laugh, connect, and have A Moment. You two just have this silent connected moment. You'll recall it because you had a similar one with your wife before you got intimate. This is a good sign.

(Quick tip: Don't forget to stop at the ATM for cash because that would be an awkward conversation with the wife if it's on the credit card)

Well, after about 3 weeks of 'just running into each other' it's a short path to exchanging numbers and texting

(Quick Tip: The endcap near the self check out counters has burner cellphones and cards to recharge it.)

So in about three months, you just have this 'connection' The wife is happy you are taking care of all the grocery shopping, so it's bonus points for you ALL THE WAY!

(Quick Tip: The pharmacy section in the supermarket has condoms and lube. Some women cheating on THEIR husbands have a lubrication problem. There are also catalogs at rest areas on the highways which have coupons for the cut rate hotels most cheaters go to...)

Well, your sweetheart's husband wonders why the hell she's always at the grocery yet they never have any food. So they have a blow up and she is emotionally distraught and she calls you on your burner phone...at 6 p.m....when you are sitting with your family at dinnner...and the ring tone isn't anything like your phone.

So your WIFE answers it...wondering what the hell is going on.

She sees the 50 texts a day and compares that to the fact she can barely get you on the phone

(quick tip to wife: you can get divorce forms for $199 dollars for all states. Also, when you value the estate, his tools have a value and should be included in the estimate of the divorce)

So your son is now spitting on you and your daughter, who plainly sees that even as wonderful a man as HER DADDY is a cheating inconsiderate PIG, decides all men are worthless and either becomes a lesbian or dates a Hell's Angel named Thor.

Meanwhile, all you can afford is a sh*tty little apartment, your sweetie had to go to her mother three states away because she's getting divorced, your family hates you and all your money is going to TWO residences, child support, alimony, and legal bills for not one, but TWO divorces. Damn lawyers.

How is your Ego feeling now?


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Simple answer: STOP GOING TO THAT SUPERMARKET!!!!!

Unless you WANT to f**k her and get divorced and ruin your family!


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

F-102 said:


> Simple answer: STOP GOING TO THAT SUPERMARKET!!!!!
> 
> Unless you WANT to f**k her and get divorced and ruin your family!


Where is the fun in a simple answer?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Juicer said:


> I am quite scared of supermarkets myself, but for a rather different reason...:rofl:


Why? 

Ashamed, I don't get what all the anxiety over saying Hello to someone is for? :scratchhead: If you want to say Hi, say Hi. 

If not, keep it moving. 

Oh and if you're married, why do you care?


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> Oh and if you're married, why do you care?


He wants to be wanted and is seeking validation.

But if saying 'hi' is great validation, having his penis in her mouth is even MORE validating.

Which is how affairs start.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

is OP for real?

:scratchhead::scratchhead:


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

ScarletBegonias said:


> is OP for real?
> 
> :scratchhead::scratchhead:


I'm thinking no...


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## Mr.PotentialFulfilled (Jan 5, 2010)

*LOL! You won't believe this. I was just as a totally different store in a different area miles away. I RAN INTO HER AGAIN!!! LMAO!! How funny! We both saw each other and laughed! We chatted a little bit. How funny is that! And it's the truth! LOL*


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

...


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I'm going to say this slowly so you understand:

YOU.ARE.MARRIED.

remember? You are playing with fire right now.best to step back and let your wife do the shopping from now on.


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

Yes by all means if you are single then say hi and reintroduce yourself ask her if she remembers you from hs and how is her life doing etc if yall hit it off say hey lets go grab a cup of coffee or something


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

ashamedbuthonest said:


> *LOL! You won't believe this. I was just as a totally different store in a different area miles away. I RAN INTO HER AGAIN!!! LMAO!! How funny! We both saw each other and laughed! We chatted a little bit. How funny is that! And it's the truth! LOL*


:sleeping: 

Oh, I'm sorry...I was just dreaming about reading that you were married in your profile. Oh wait...that wasn't a dream...


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## tryingtobebetter (Aug 6, 2012)

i think she is stalking you.

Do you have a rabbit? be very careful


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## underwater2010 (Jun 27, 2012)

ashamedbuthonest said:


> *LOL! You won't believe this. I was just as a totally different store in a different area miles away. I RAN INTO HER AGAIN!!! LMAO!! How funny! We both saw each other and laughed! We chatted a little bit. How funny is that! And it's the truth! LOL*


HA HA HA HA!!! OMG it is fate. You are supposed to be with her and not your wife. Better get that number and email. Be sure to text her ILY and I am divorcing my wife.

NOT!!!! Stop this bull****!!! Send your wife for grocerys instead.


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

Ha ha! Can't even trust the guy to go grocery shopping. Unreal!


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

Tell me what store you are going to so I can run into her. While it is TOTALLY inappropriate for me to do so, I like looking at hot women.

Granted, I don't want to talk to her. Because *I'M MARRIED*. But hey, you should TOTALLY hit on her.

Because it's stupid.

Yes, she might be stalking you. Take your ego kibble and get out.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

JCD said:


> Tell me what store you are going to so I can run into her. While it is TOTALLY inappropriate for me to do so, I like looking at hot women.
> 
> Granted, I don't want to talk to her. Because *I'M MARRIED*. But hey, you should TOTALLY hit on her.
> 
> ...


:iagree::lol:


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

JCD said:


> Tell me what store you are going to so I can run into her. While it is TOTALLY inappropriate for me to do so, I like looking at hot women.
> 
> Granted, I don't want to talk to her. Because *I'M MARRIED*. But hey, you should TOTALLY hit on her.
> 
> ...


Unless HE's stalking HER.


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

F-102 said:


> Unless HE's stalking HER.


"Oh, hey! Funny I should run into you here!" And here...and here....and there...and there...and....


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## Mr.PotentialFulfilled (Jan 5, 2010)

I'm NOT stalking anyone. LOL But I did joke that either she was following me or I was afraid she thought I was stalking her.
Yes, I always though she was very beautiful. I wish I asked her out. Yes, I have a crush on her. NO I am NOT looking for an affair. :scratchhead:


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

um... You're married.

So, no.. don't go chatting with her & having coffee, etc.

Sure it's okay to say "hi."... Okay to say "Hey, how ya doing?" 
Maybe laugh a little.. but, next time, ,make it clear you're married.

like: "Well, gotta go. Wife is waiting for me to get some bread.." Then LEAVE. Don't say "We'll catch up sometime" . dont say "It was nice seeing you, we should catch up on old times" . Don't say "See ya around". Just tell her you're getting something for the family & you've gotta go.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

Are you married or not? Do not avoid the question.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

JCD said:


> Are you married or not? Do not avoid the question.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


His profile says yes.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

DayDream said:


> His profile says yes.


Understood. But the way he is talking, this isn't even on the radar.

So which is it?


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## Mr.PotentialFulfilled (Jan 5, 2010)

Yes, I am married.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

Okay, so what are your plans?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## IrishGirlVA (Aug 27, 2012)

ashamedbuthonest said:


> Yes, I always though she was very beautiful. I wish I asked her out. Yes, I have a crush on her. NO I am NOT looking for an affair. :scratchhead:


OK, my turn --- :scratchhead:


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

Some men...:slap:


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

Okay. You have a hot girl from your past whom you want to want you. Is that essentially it? You think you have your life sort of together now, and you want someone whose opinion you cared about IN HIGH SCHOOL to validate all the progress you've made.

You want to be wanted by the Prom Queen (or whatever) from back in the day.

Have I got that correct?

When it's laid out like that, do you see what that sounds like?

Right now you are CRITICALLY important to at least one person in your life. Go pick her up a nice card and call her to dress up because you're taking her out to dinner.

If the compliments and interaction are forced, then she doesn't really mean it or you haven't come that far.

Seek self respect, not more high school games.

Granted, I still would have liked the time of day from Michelle (she did gymnastics...) But that was then. This is now.


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## Mr.PotentialFulfilled (Jan 5, 2010)

Thank you all for your responses! :smthumbup:
I never said I wanted to take her out for a coffee or have an affair. I just said what do I do when I see her again. I don't want to make it look like I am so excited to see her, that I want to talk. She might be annoyed that she runs into me all the time. Perhaps I did not make myself clear.


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## Mrs Chai (Sep 14, 2010)

No we understand what you _think_ you are saying.

However, we have heard enough stories that have ended in broken marriages and betrayed spouses that begin just the way you are - pining over a woman who is _not your wife_.

We're not saying it's wrong to find this woman attractive, what we are saying is wrong is actively pursuing her for y_our own personal benefit_. When you are _married_. Which is _wrong_.

You see?

If you don't think you are doing wrong then you need to take a step back and evaluate this situation from a different angle. I suggest taking your wife's angle, as she is the most important person in this situation.

Let me know if you bother.


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## IrishGirlVA (Aug 27, 2012)

ashamedbuthonest said:


> Thank you all for your responses! :smthumbup:
> I never said I wanted to take her out for a coffee or have an affair. I just said what do I do when I see her again. I don't want to make it look like I am so excited to see her, that I want to talk. She might be annoyed that she runs into me all the time. Perhaps I did not make myself clear.


OK, well, with that said...... 

There is nothing wrong with saying hello to someone that you used to know. And if your point about telling us how beautiful she is was your way of saying she knows it and thinks that every guy is out to hit on her (married or not) and you don't want to come across that way then that is an easy fix. If you run into her again just smile and say, "Hello" and keep on walking. You can do this in a way that is not rude. But if you find yourself engaged in a conversation that *she* initiated and you don't want to be rude just start talking about your wife and kids. That'll shut the conversation down pretty fast. Unless, of course, she is a man-eater and will take you being married as a challenge. If that happens then you have no choice but to ignore her. 

But like my sexual health teacher said in high school.... CHOOSE ABSTINENCE! Find a completely different supermarket!


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

Is she so important to you that you even bother to make a whole thread about her?

Why do you care to say hi when you're married in the first place?
And if you don't wanna say hi and your ego is big then simply ignore her.

And when you say you dont wanna look like you're excited...
..well...it sounds like you are excited but you wanna pretend like you're not. 
You are putting on a show just for her. 

Just pretend like she's not there. Why do you care?


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

Dude..you just said you wished you asked her out.

Then you said you're not looking to have an affair.

That IS an affair.

You're honest...which is good. But you're creeping on your wife, which is bad.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

lovelygirl said:


> Is she so important to you that you even bother to make a whole thread about her?
> 
> Why do you care to say hi when you're married in the first place?
> And if you don't wanna say hi and your ego is big then simply ignore her.
> ...


I remember Heather of the Enormous Boobs from HS. Happily I ran into her. I happily enjoyed saying hi but that's sort of it.

You are talking and talking and talking about this. This woman is taking up a large portion of your mental space right now and we don't know why.

We know what you SAY, but Denial ain't a river in Egypt. You can find it in New Mexico.

You're spinning a fantasy. And that's fine. Heather was part of a few as well. But you are also working on REAL Heather. Just be careful

(Quick Tip: Jergens is in aisle 14 next to the skin bronzers. Choose wisely which product you want)



sinnister said:


> Dude..you just said you wished you asked her out.
> 
> Then you said you're not looking to have an affair.
> 
> ...


He said he WISHED he HAD asked her out. The English was imprecise, but it could mean he regrets not asking her out BACK THEN.

But only he knows for sure.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

sinnister said:


> Dude..you just said you wished you asked her out.
> 
> Then you said you're not looking to have an affair.
> 
> ...


Strange. When I was younger, I always wished that I would have asked out that gorgeous blonde that I had a HUGE crush on.

But then, what might have happened?

I never would have pined for her.
I never would have tried to overcompensate with another girl.
I never would have picked up the guitar to try and be "cool".
I never would have grew my hair long to try and be "cool".
I never would have seen that these traits do not a handsome stud make.
I never would have dated my first GF, who was selfish, abusive and scatterbrained because I was desperate to be with a girl.
I never would have gone thru a terrifying breakup and blamed myself because I was such a freakin' doormat.
I never would have woken up and wised up after that.
I never would have finally realized what I sure as hell did NOT want in a woman.
I never would have got to know myself better and LEARNED what I DID want in a woman.
I never would have joined a band.
I never would have "struck out" with every girl I met in that time period.
I never would have realized that my life was going absolutely NOWHERE.
I never would have enlisted in the Army.
I never would have got thru basic training, Airborne and Ranger school.
I never would have realized that, hey, I am good for something after all.
I never would have got sent to Korea.
I never would have met my wife.

So, do I still wish that I had asked that cute blonde out?

HELL NO!!!!!

I'm an agnostic, but one thing I do believe is that old country song:

"Some of god's greatest gifts, are unanswered prayers."


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

You have stalker tendencies.


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

Okay ashamedbuthonest..

I think I'm seeing your point. Because you are running into her a lot at the markets, it is bringing up your highschool memories, and you are thinking about the person you were back then??

It's okay to say hi & how ya been.. etc. It is NOT okay for you to tell her you wished you would have asked her out in highschool. It is NOT okay for you to say how hot she turn out as a grown woman. 

I kind of agree with JCD, that it seems like you are spinning it into a fantasy. Just know that with some people, that can be a tricky road. Realize that the reality is that you have a wife & any extra romantic thoughts need to be directed to her.

I like the idea of ... next time you get tempted to talk to that woman... Call your wife up instead, tell her to get dressed up, 'cuz you're taking her out.. then wine & dine the wife!!.. That was an awesome idea.


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## CoolMom (Oct 31, 2012)

tryingtobebetter said:


> i think she is stalking you.
> 
> Do you have a rabbit? be very careful


Hah! Nice one. :smthumbup:


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## Mr.PotentialFulfilled (Jan 5, 2010)

Thanks for the responses. One thing is for sure. It's a high likelihood she will be thinking about me when she goes shopping wondering if she will run into me. LOL


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

ashamedbuthonest said:


> Thanks for the responses. One thing is for sure. It's a high likelihood she will be thinking about me when she goes shopping wondering if she will run into me. LOL


:allhail:

:rules:


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