# Lost and confused.



## theruiner (Nov 28, 2014)

This has been probably the worst year of my life. It actually started in 2013. I have been married for 5 years. We have 2 children of our own, and she has a daughter from a previous relationship. I consider my step daughter, my first child. Once I met her she changed my life for the better. She has been in my life since she was 3. She is now 8. 
We moved to another state and her bio dad lied to us and said we could move her with us. After we left her home state he changed his mind. My wife and him went through a costly custody battle and she lost. We set up a somewhat regular visitation schedule. 
Since we moved my wife and I had our 2 children. Money got tight and as of summer 2013 and she was unable to visit. Since the summer my wife basically gave up all communication with my step daughter. She felt it was better to not talk to her, instead of telling the truth about not being able to visit. I have not talked or seen her in over a year.
March of this year my wife attempted suicide in our home. She took a ton of pills and lied in a bathtub, in hopes of never waking. My to young children were in there beds in the rooms next door. I was sleeping in our bed. She came in kissed me and asked me to take care of our babies. Something woke me up and told me to check on her. I broke down the door pulled my wife's limp body from the tub and did everything to keep her conscious. I saw all the pill bottles called 911 and held her helplessly as she slipped away. As she stopped breathing in my arms, I still felt her heart beat. 
Just then firemen showed up and took over. The babies never woke, somehow. They took her to the hospital, and I followed. Her brother lives with us and called her dad to take care of the kids.
I sat in the trauma room watching as 6 nurses and doctors tried to save her life. She was finally stable, with no promise of normal brain activity ever again. Somehow she made a full recovery. Although, she hated me for saving her. She was taken to a mental hospital for about a week before she was released. Three weeks later to the day, she disappeared with my car and cash,called and said good bye. She went to a hotel room to attempt suicide again. I got in touch with the police who after a few hours found her. And got her to another hospital. I arrived to meet the officer who found her and he told me all the terrible details. I was let into the room where she was treated. It look like a battle took place. Again after she came to and somehow recovered a second time. From a major overdose of hardcore medication, she was mad I saved her once again. Threatening to do it again. 
She went to the mental hospital again. Although this time she meet another man. Once she was relesed and back home with the kids and I. She cheated on me with this other patient. 
Her phone was left on in bed while she was sleeping.( I work in the middle of the night.) I went to shut off her phone and found pictures of the two of them kissing and texts saying I love and miss you. I told her to leave our home. She moved in with this guy claiming she ad no where to go. 
I was filing for divorce, when she called and asked to work on things. Telling me her actions had to do with drug use and wanting to feel loved.
I admit I wasn't always perfect. But it was tough working a weird shift and having 2 kids 13 months apart. There was alot of stress and fights. But I thought we at least had love.
I took her back and promised to try to make it work. 
Since she has been back she has contacted the guy she cheated on me with. Called one of her ex boyfriends. And had 3 different relapses with pills. And she has told me she's not sure if she wants to give up drugs all together. 
My heart and trust I feel are broken beyond repair. I honestly don't know if I can continue this marriage. Especially without trust. She does not take care of the home at all,and barely watches the kids. Time and time again I come home after a 12 hour day. To a terribly dirty home. And my 2 and 3 year old doing what seems like what ever they want. No matter how much I talk to her, it doesn't seem to matter. I guess I am reaching out to other men for any advice in this situation. Thank you in advance, Eric


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I'm sorry to hear of the hell you are being put through.

Ok, I'm not a guy. But I'll tell you what all, or the vast majority or all, of the men here will tell you. 

Is your wife's drug us prescription drugs from a doctor or is she doing drugs illegally?

Unless your wife is willing to start putting in 100% effort to be a good wife and mother, stop the drug use, stop with other men and work with every bit of her being to fix herself and your marriage, this is a lost cause.

I since, from what you have said, I don't think our wife wants to or can do this my advice is to end your marriage. The way she has been behaving is a danger to your children.

Before you do anything you need to see an attorney and find out what you have to do to get 100% custody of your children and allow only supervised visitation.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

First, you have to protect your kids. Whatever it may take as if she is capable of taking her life, she is capable of taking theirs. 

Second, see if you can have her committed for 30 days. She is clearly suffering from some major disorder and perhaps she can be medicated and get things under control. Or maybe she can be placed in a halfway house...


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

You've got a tough position to deal with. Its unfair, but its yours. Realize that first.

This woman is a mess. She's going to hate you regardless of what you do. She can hate you low and long, (you let things slide)or hot and fast.(you act, and have her hospitalized) Both equally bad. The major difference is one better protects your kids, and is at least trying to address the issue.

Call your local mental health association, and see it they can put you in touch with someone at the DAs office, or equivalent that handles such things.

Enlist the biggest army of friends and family you can to help.

These problems are of her making, you can't be left holding the bag.


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