# What age does a man not want sex?



## ssshhh (May 23, 2011)

I am new to this site and really did not want to post this question but really can not find serious answers searching online.

Is there an age when a man really does not want sex and just does it to please his wife?

Sex betweeen my husband and I had become less frequent because of physical issues within myself (perimenopause). Before this we had a very active sex life and he always made sure I felt good. It did not matter how long it took. We both knew the end would be awesome.

A few days ago, we had a great night together but I guess because it was so great and I had not had the big O's for so long, I want to have more sex while my body is cooperating but I don't want to be selfish. If he really does not want too then I dont want to push him into it. He would never tell me he did not want to (even if he didn't). He is in his very late 50s and I am in my 40s. 

Is there an age when a man does not want sex? If I asked this question 3 months ago it would have been because I was wanting to stop having sex, now I don't want to stop.....damn hormones!


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## mary35 (Jul 18, 2010)

I know exactly what you are saying as I have been there, and am still there - only now I am going through the actual menopause stage which has made things even worse for me physically. I have had to go on bio-identical hormones and also seek help from a sex therapist to keep my body going sexually. I won't go into all the gory details but to answer your question, I don't think men ever stop wanting sex. However they do physically and mentally slow down where sex is concerned as they age. They often develop problems with getting and maintaining erections which can cause them to pull away from sex, but I doubt it keeps them from wanting it. 

The "use it or loose it" saying is true and applies to both of you. The more often you both do it now, the better off you will be in the later years. So if your husband is willing, don't worry about being selfish - if his man part is working - he wants it!!! And if it stops working, there are remedies for that too.

Oh - and I agree - damn those stupid hormones!!!!!!!!!!


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

For me, it was from about birth to age 12.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

I know you asked for serious advice but it is hard to resist. I saw this poem years ago.

From 20 to 30 if a man lives right,
It's once every morning and twice every night.
From 30 to 40, if he still lives right,
Every now and again he misses a night,
From 40 to 50, It's just now and then,
From 50 to 60, it's Heaven knows when.
From 60 to 70, it's much declined,
but don't let him fool you, it's still on his mind.

Now for a bit of serious advice. If 3 months ago you wanted sex to end, and now you want it all the time, he is likely very confused. I would suspect he is trying not to pressure you for sex. He probably has the same questions you have. He is thinking, " is she just doing to please me? is she still interested?" Hormone changes leave you wondering "what is the real me?" 

Communicate! Let him know how you feel every day. Start your comments with words to this effect, "Today I feel like . . . ", " right know I need . . .". Make sure he understands that you are in a state of change that isn't going to settle down soon. 

Overall, My bet would be that he doesn't think that a cease fire is a good long term solution for your relationship. 

M N


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## ClipClop (Apr 28, 2011)

Looking for an age isn't going to provide a valid answer. Everyone is different.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I'm sure it eventually happens to us all if we live long enough. I'm almost 50 and from age 12 to the present day, it's pretty much been one long hornfest. The concept of not wanting sex is about as real to me as the concept of defying gravity.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Mr. Nail said:


> From 20 to 30 if a man lives right,
> It's once every morning and twice every night.
> From 30 to 40, if he still lives right,
> Every now and again he misses a night,
> ...


I never heard this before, the twice every night might be a stretch but I bet MANY follow this pattern. 

Ssssh: I know exactly where you are coming from. I went from being a once a weeker (feeling totally satisfied) to wanting it 3 times a day when I hit 42. Talk about a BURST in hormones! I felt I stepped into the body of a young Teenage male , my mind was overtaken with fantasies, I was undressing every good looking guy I seen in public, I lost interest in almost anything unless it had a sexual nature to it. For a time I felt I had a sex addiction. I suddenly lost all of my inhibitions from years past & was compelled to turn my husband on, it became my focus in life. 

I found this online to describe this change-- 



> *Balance the seesaw.* When they were first married, the man remembered, he always took the sexual lead, pulling his wife close and whispering his desire to make love. But now, 20 years later, she often makes the first move.
> 
> Again, hormonal changes are bringing the couple into closer balance. Men and women both produce testosterone and estrogen, but the proportion of each changes over the years. The male's shifting levels of estrogen and testosterone may make him more willing to follow than to lead, happy for his wife to set the pace. And as a woman's estrogen declines and her testosterone becomes proportionately greater, she may become more assertive.



I remember feeling "Oh my God, I am just getting started and HE is slowing down"! This sinking feeling came over me. For the 1st time in our lives, he struggled to get hard, it freaked me out so bad , I sent him to en Encronologist to get his Testosterone tested (this is very funny looking back), learned he had levels "normal" for a 60 yrs olds- this caused me some worry ! 

But later realized from much reading that some men are just "lower test" all their lives, I believe he falls into this category-as he has never been the aggressive type, always calm, laid back. Thankfully he didn't need treatment and our sex live is pretty happening for a man of his age. I push his limits and he likes it. He knows it is good for his health as well. I heartily agree with the *"Use it or Loose it*" philosophy >> FOXSexpert: Senior Sex -- Use It or Lose It - Health News | Current Health News | Medical News - FOXNews.com

If your husband is NOT pushing you away , this is the biggest blessing you can have- as clearly, right now YOUR SEX DRIVE IS HIGHER and will remain this way till you hit menopause. This can be the happiest time of your life! (Is for me! ) 

If he loves you & desires to please you, LET HIM, blow his socks off, become his seductive temptress ! If he struggles to get hard, get a perscription for Viagra, this is very very common for men his age & most especially if you are having alot of sex. 

As men age- their refactory period gets longer & longer, they just do Not LUST as often as these strapping younger males, they generally need MORE direct stimulation. Oral sex can be a life saver to older men to get them jump started. 

This sounds like a good book to help :Amazon.com: All Night Long: How to Make Love to a Man Over 50 (9781590770276): Barbara Keesling: Books


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## mikey11 (May 31, 2011)

impossible to answer as a general answer....each mans hormones are different....speaking for myself i am late 30's and i still want it just as much as i ever have since my early teen years....


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## txhunter54 (Jul 4, 2010)

A healthy male (mentally and physically) wants sex, period! Health issues can and do affect sex drive. But, in most cases those issues can be addressed.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Ever hear the term "Angel Lust"? Some men get hard after death. So there's your answer.


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## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore (Apr 7, 2011)

Some of the answers to this thread are comforting because I tend to lean towards those darn older guys. So far, no problems yet. However, I have wondered what could happen “X” years down the road if I do wind up with a guy and there is a significant age gap between the two of us.


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Viagra
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

alphaomega said:


> Viagra
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Viagra is great if the mind is willing but the flesh is weak. Having a hard-on but no interest just means you can carry more donuts.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Andres Segovia, the famous Spanish classical guitarist, fathered a son at 94. And I'm pretty sure Picasso went to his grave boinking someone. He was 92.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Runs like Dog said:


> Andres Segovia, the famous Spanish classical guitarist, fathered a son at 94. And I'm pretty sure Picasso went to his grave boinking someone. He was 92.


But the mailman and the milkman were in their 20s.


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## Undertheradar (May 11, 2011)

I'm a 52 yr old guy, and I'll tell you that I am one horney SOB. . I can go every day, and I always feel like I want more. 
Sorry, but I had to be honest.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore (Apr 7, 2011)

PBear said:


> Viagra is great if the mind is willing but the flesh is weak. Having a hard-on but no interest just means you can carry more donuts.
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



:rofl::rofl: Where do you guys come up with this stuff?! :rofl::rofl:


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## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore (Apr 7, 2011)

Undertheradar said:


> I'm a 52 yr old guy, and I'll tell you that I am one horney SOB. . I can go every day, and I always feel like I want more.
> Sorry, but I had to be honest.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Ok ...... aahh ...... so here goes ..... The last guy I was in relationship with was 50 yr. Almost 12yrs older than me. Sex was never a problem. And ...  ..... There were a few occasions of three times a day. Twice a day was accomplished quite easily. His …. Ummm …. "Man part" was also very responsive and eager all the time. :smthumbup: Like everyday for the most part.  

UGH ….. Can’t believe I’m sharing this. Another guy I dated a few years ago was 14 years older than me, which would have made him 50 yrs old then also. He seemed to regularly enjoy the sensual part of kissing and touching but his “man part” was never 100% up for action. It worked, but not really great. Other than that, he was actually pretty fit and had good muscle tone.

In efforts to redeem myself here, I'd just like to state neither one of them looked their age at all. Especially the last guy. Thank goodness nobody believed he was 50 yrs old, because every tells me I don’t look like I’m in my 30’s.

So now that I’m totally embarrassed, let me get to asking a question and why I shared all that stuff. 

If a guy is quite sexually functional at 50 years old, are the odds he will still be interested and able to perform at 60 years old pretty good then?


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## ssshhh (May 23, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I never heard this before, the twice every night might be a stretch but I bet MANY follow this pattern.
> 
> Ssssh: I know exactly where you are coming from. I went from being a once a weeker (feeling totally satisfied) to wanting it 3 times a day when I hit 42. Talk about a BURST in hormones! I felt I stepped into the body of a young Teenage male , my mind was overtaken with fantasies, I was undressing every good looking guy I seen in public, I lost interest in almost anything unless it had a sexual nature to it. For a time I felt I had a sex addiction. I suddenly lost all of my inhibitions from years past & was compelled to turn my husband on, it became my focus in life.
> 
> ...


Thank you, I was embarrassed to type some of this out in the question but I do feel like a sex crazed maniac. 
My husband said he is glad the dry spell is over (in more ways than one) and he is not pushing me away, so I guess we will ride the hormone wave. We have to use it, so we don't lose it. THAT would be terrible.
Thank you for all your replies.


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## EvanderS (Jul 1, 2011)

My gut feeling is that it was your menopause that was the issue. A lot of stuff can go wrong with sexual attraction.

1) You may smell differently
2) His sex drive may be a RESPONSE to your sex drive
3) there are different types of sex drive
i) want to make babies
ii) want to be physically close
iii) want to explore issues of power and dominances versus feminine surrender
iv) exploration of boundaries
v) dealing with childhood traumas
vi) Fetishes
vii) Taboo

Make sure that he doesn't have a withold... where he may have felt slighted, taken for granted, or hurt in some way. He may on some level have justified your actions because you were going through a difficult time and might have felt that he had forgiven you... but maybe there is still a niggling issue there that is unresolved... and keeping you separate.

Going forward... make an effort to seduce him. Make sure that you are available to his seduction... and keep that cycle fun and constantly moving forward.

If one element of sex drive is no longer functioning... find other ways to heat up the sex drive.

Make sure that he feels gotten.


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## annagarret (Jun 12, 2011)

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:QUOTE=unbelievable;335667]For me, it was from about birth to age 12.[/QUOTE]

Unbelievable, LOL....I can't stop laughing..that's a great one! LOl...:rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## annagarret (Jun 12, 2011)

Dont ever stop giving your husband sex...and honey dont stop having it!!!!!!!!!!


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

when my wife stopped showing any interest in sex, i conditioned my self to think of other things. if she suddenly turned into a vixen, i would be slow to react at this point (she 48 im 50). my plumbing has no issues what so ever.

i think its fair to say that just like when women dont want sex, when a man doesnt there is something else going on


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## Miss Thing (Mar 31, 2013)

Hi Ya'll

It's Miss Thing! Now I'm a man but i'm gay so i'm all man and part woman.

Imma tell you. If I'm just wanting a NSA Social Standard thing for a while, I can do about 5 a day. I'm serious. 

Now if i'm going thru a period that I want a better than one night thing than once a night is fine. 

Now here's the deal. I'm wondering if I should just hang it up with relationships or go the nSa forever. I mean pahleeze!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Who wants to get into something that they just know they ain't gonna want in their bodies in 2 plus years! LOL AND THEN! If you start resentin that bastard you said I do too and he ain't gonna try and fix the issues, usually communication, with you... why ****ing bother!

I may as well spend the Valentines day money I was gonna use and get some botox gurls... know what I mean? I'm 43 and I just ain't got it like that to experiment with time-wise.

Now Miss thing here is a great psychic. I can read you and let me know i have testimonials for ya'll to use and read. Have a great day!


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

I have always wanted to know the answer to that question.....

I am 66, and have been married to my wonderful wife for 47 years. I honestly have not had sex since yesterday afternoon...

We are having company today so the chances are, with luck tomorrow.....

For some reason, we usually have sex most often between lunch and dinner during the week...Everyone is at work, so no drop in's or annoying phone calls, just 4 hours of down time to kick back, have a little massage, and some great sex

I could easily have sex every morning and night. My biggest limitation is that my wife is a delicate woman, and I don't want to over tax her physically....I have not seen my sexual desire decline since age 30, in fact it may have increased since my retirement almost 2 years ago....

I would like to add that I am actually having as much pleasure having intercourse with my wife as when I was a lot younger. I am absolutely blown away, each and every time.....

Sex at any age is just great....

good luck
the woodchuck


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore said:


> Ok ...... aahh ...... so here goes ..... The last guy I was in relationship with was 50 yr. Almost 12yrs older than me. Sex was never a problem. And ...  ..... There were a few occasions of three times a day. Twice a day was accomplished quite easily. His …. Ummm …. "Man part" was also very responsive and eager all the time. :smthumbup: Like everyday for the most part.
> 
> UGH ….. Can’t believe I’m sharing this. Another guy I dated a few years ago was 14 years older than me, which would have made him 50 yrs old then also. He seemed to regularly enjoy the sensual part of kissing and touching but his “man part” was never 100% up for action. It worked, but not really great. Other than that, he was actually pretty fit and had good muscle tone.
> 
> ...


I am pushing 70 and twice a day just keeps the fires down...As the poem went, once in the morning and twice at night, only in my case I would prefer twice in the morning....I always loved morning sex...:smthumbup:


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## mdill (Jan 18, 2012)

Woodchuck said:


> I have always wanted to know the answer to that question.....
> 
> I am 66, and have been married to my wonderful wife for 47 years. I honestly have not had sex since yesterday afternoon...
> 
> ...


Woodchuck, I agree. I'm 59, retired and easily up for sex 2-3 times a day. My sweetheart of a wife is LD, but does her best every day because she loves me. Our love sessions are the highlight of our day, every day for both of us. For me, I want my wife pretty much all the time because I love her. She is my the focus of my desire and drives my passion. If she is not up to it some days, I'm more than OK with that. But it doesn't much. At this point, my mind is driving my desire and my physical ability to perform. Without my wife, my need for sex would drop off considerably at my age.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

My partner is in his 50's, has a very healthy drive and is a very passionate and skilled lover. We can easily go for it twice a day and more on holidays and weekends. In his words he has always been a HD man and very much enjoys sex.
He is fit and active with a great attitude to life, these things all contribute I think.

I watched a show on TV recently about sex into older age and there were many 70 plus year olds that still have very healthy sex lives, maybe not so acrobatic but still very loving and passionate.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

Mr. Nail said:


> I know you asked for serious advice but it is hard to resist. I saw this poem years ago.
> 
> From 20 to 30 if a man lives right,
> It's once every morning and twice every night.
> ...


I think you... um... nailed it here.

If your sex life was healthy before but then you started sending him mixed messages, he's probably confused as to when you want it and when you don't. My wife is just not getting to the point where she is comfortable enough to tell me she wants a orgasm. That's it. She just wants one. I actually like that so I don't have to guess at what she wants that night. Of course, sometimes *I* decide she wants and orgasm and I give her one because that's what *I* want. 

Talk it out.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

When he is dead...


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

As others have said there is a chance that as a man I could end up wanting sex until the day I die. Problem is, if when I get older the only women I can get are in my own age group, no thanks, I hope to be able to say that I have had enough sex at that point to be satisfied. Even given that, once moving into the 70's, I hope I will have others things I will want to do instead.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

I'm 51, and I could still drive nails with it if I lost my hammer.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

Thound said:


> I'm 51, and I could still drive nails with it if I lost my hammer.


Same here. I am 49 and you can hang a beach towel on it. Hammer time...you bet. Must be because we are both from Texas!!!!!


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

I Notice The Details said:


> When he is dead...


:lol: That was my gut reaction too.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

gbrad said:


> As others have said there is a chance that as a man I could end up wanting sex until the day I die. Problem is, if when I get older the only women I can get are in my own age group, no thanks, I hope to be able to say that I have had enough sex at that point to be satisfied. Even given that, once moving into the 70's, I hope I will have others things I will want to do instead.


At 68 my wife is still hot. I can't keep my hands off of her. Her breasts look like a woman of 30. and her a$$ is absolutely sweet.

When we married she weighed 92 lbs, and was a little on the thin side. she now weighs about 135, and is in my estimation perfect. I jokingly ask if she would please put on another 5 lbs just to make her a$$ a little more bouncy...So far she has declined....

So far that is about all she will decline...She was always HD, and I have thousands of mental movies to replay...One thing that has changed is she has developed a talent for giving oral sex that leaves me with jelly in my knees..

I have also put a 60 in. flatscreen in the BR. It gives us an excuse to spend more time in bed.......We just had lunch, so I think I'll take a shower and go watch TV.... 

good luck
the woodchuck


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## LoveMouse (Apr 22, 2012)

When my grandpa was 72 I asked "Gramps? When do you stop having sex?"
His reply?
I'm not sure, I hit it last night."
lol
Gram yells from the kitchen "YEA!! BUT HE DIDN"T FINISH!!!"
LMAO
The other grandfather was still active at 81.....but I'm not sure he was telling the truth.
Mouse


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

I have gone off my testosterone booster to see how that effects my sex and work out drive.

Guess what????

My sex drive is almost gone now and I have no drive to workout. Not good.........

So I will be going back on my natural test booster as soon as possible. I am 39 years old and compared to say my teens and early 20's, huge difference in natural energy levels and sex drive and the test booster kept that in check.

Now if my wifee with her LD is actually in the mood, I won't be.

If your hubby or wifee have HD's, be grateful because it will taper off as they get older to normal levels instead of normal to LD or nothing and we all know what happens in LD to nothing relationships...........cheating and divorce.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

CuddleBug said:


> I have gone off my testosterone booster to see how that effects my sex and work out drive.
> 
> Guess what????
> 
> ...


Do you mean that all HD people will cheat on their LD partner? If so you are way way way wrong.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Will all HD people cheat on LD people, no, that's common sense and we all know this. But if and when it does happen, totally understandable.

If HD individuals were happy with LD individuals, TAM almost wouldn't exist.........


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

143


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