# How does it make you feel?



## Sue4473 (May 29, 2018)

Just an early morning chat lol while drinking coffee.

How do you respond to a racy text or flirty in detailed one from someone that you not sure of yet?

If you’re shy- do you send the 😳 face?
Like wow. But I’m not sure how this face could be taken.

Or do you say, I appreciate that but I don’t reciprocate the same feeling?

Men and women: chime in!


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Is this online dating, or is it someone met from everyday life?


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## Sue4473 (May 29, 2018)

Livvie said:


> Is this online dating, or is it someone met from everyday life?


Everyday life.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

I would say go perv on someone else if I did not feel the same about them. If I liked them and was free to pursue them, then I would send something racy back. If I liked them but was not free to pursue them, I would say something like you remind me of my wife - you should meet her, the two of you would get on. In all these circumstances I am assuming that the other person is not in a relationship and is not cheating.


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## Sue4473 (May 29, 2018)

manfromlamancha said:


> I would say go perv on someone else if I did not feel the same about them. If I liked them and was free to pursue them, then I would send something racy back. If I liked them but was not free to pursue them, I would say something like you remind me of my wife - you should meet her, the two of you would get on. In all these circumstances I am assuming that the other person is not in a relationship and is not cheating.


No 2 single people. 
I know this person but I don’t know if I feel that way about them. So do I send this? 😳

I really don’t know what to say. And yeah maybe I could feel that way, but at this moment I’m not sure.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Sue4473 said:


> No 2 single people.
> I know this person but I don’t know if I feel that way about them. So do I send this? 😳
> 
> I really don’t know what to say. And yeah maybe I could feel that way, but at this moment I’m not sure.


Since it isn’t an absolute ‘no,’ Just be honest and say that you don’t know what to say to that.


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## hubbyintrubby (Jul 5, 2019)

I think it kind of depends on how "racy" we are talking here....


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

If you haven't dated yet, ask what brought that on.


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## Sue4473 (May 29, 2018)

hubbyintrubby said:


> I think it kind of depends on how "racy" we are talking here....


It was last night when they sent it. They said that they were relaxing and enjoying some good beer. And that they had some inappropriate thoughts about me and said some things in reference to my butt. 
I am friends with this person.

I am not sure if it’s a no yet. If I send 😳 
Is that rude or is it enough to convey a bit shyness or whoa! I wasn’t expecting that!


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## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

If the text was last night and you have not responded yet I would say you already answered them. 🤷🏼‍♀️


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## Sue4473 (May 29, 2018)

Torninhalf said:


> If the text was last night and you have not responded yet I would say you already answered them. 🤷🏼‍♀️



They sent it when I’m usually asleep 
But I was awake.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

I think this person has already decided to frame your relationship....that is either presumptive or daring, either way your response or non response will tell them how you feel about that. Does that make sense.


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## hubbyintrubby (Jul 5, 2019)

Sue4473 said:


> It was last night when they sent it. They said that they were relaxing and enjoying some good beer. And that they had some inappropriate thoughts about me and said some things in reference to my butt.
> I am friends with this person.
> 
> I am not sure if it’s a no yet. If I send 😳
> Is that rude or is it enough to convey a bit shyness or whoa! I wasn’t expecting that!


I don't think your emoji of choice would be a bad choice. Kind of a fun, little cheeky way of saying, "whoa, where'd that come from?!?"

Go for it.


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

Whats with the gender neutrality?

I was going to respond but it would help if we knew if this is man sending to woman,man to woman or women women or men men.

It can matter.


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## CN2622 (Mar 22, 2021)

Sue4473 said:


> It was last night when they sent it. They said that they were relaxing and enjoying some good beer. And that they had some inappropriate thoughts about me and said some things in reference to my butt.
> I am friends with this person.
> 
> I am not sure if it’s a no yet. If I send 😳
> Is that rude or is it enough to convey a bit shyness or whoa! I wasn’t expecting that!


I would just playfully laugh about it and if it goes further and you feel uncomfortable cut it off immediately.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

I think the moment for a flirty response has passed.
Since you are unsure....and you don't seem to be thinking he's a perv.....tell him you're flattered he was thinking about your butt and to enjoy using his imagination because that's all he's going to get for now, but later..we will see😉.
I think that lets him know you're interested but still unsure, yet still a bit flirty.


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## Sue4473 (May 29, 2018)

Cooper said:


> I think the moment for a flirty response has passed.
> Since you are unsure....and you don't seem to be thinking he's a perv.....tell him you're flattered he was thinking about your butt and to enjoy using his imagination because that's all he's going to get for now, but later😉.
> I think that lets him know you're interested but still unsure, yet still a bit flirty.



Well too late. lol
I just sent him this 😳


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

Sue4473 said:


> They sent it when I’m usually asleep


Who is "they"?

How old are you guys?


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

It's a no from me.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

I'd take the face you sent as a negative response. He'll probably stop now.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

Sue4473 said:


> How do you respond to a racy text or flirty in detailed one from someone that you not sure of yet?


Disclaimer: this has never happened to me. I was married before texting was a real thing among adults. When it happened in email & even here on TAM when someone's PM to me was too graphic, I responded with something like. . .

_Um. . . this is far too graphic for me. Can we dial it back to something G / PG-13 please? _

Some called me a prude or worse. Most were apologetic & respectful. With the former, I just let them out of my life at that point because we were not a match.

In your case, I think your lack of response said it all. If you were inclined to respond in the moment I would have said something along the lines of "_it's the beer talking but while we're at it get your cold beer hand off my butt; it doesn't belong there._" Since the moment has passed, say nothing now. If the person has the temerity to raise the subject again, try another response like the ones I suggested.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

He’s fishing. Don’t bite. You should be taking a break from men looking for hookups anyway (which is where that sounds like it could be headed).


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

I think your response was perfect with the emoji. Let him think about it and see what his response is. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

I don't quite understand what the emoji was... can't see it properly... 👀


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Any time someone only sends me an emoji as a response to something, I take it as a blow off.


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

Sue4473 said:


> No 2 single people.
> I know this person but I don’t know if I feel that way about them. So do I send this? 😳
> 
> I really don’t know what to say. And yeah maybe I could feel that way, but at this moment I’m not sure.


Have you spent time with this person in-person? If so, what are the 2 of you like when you're together? If you're flirty with him, maybe he thinks that you'll have a positive reaction to something racy. If you're more reserved when you're together, then he's really off-base to send something like that. I think it depends a lot on this. How DO you feel about him?

As a note: If my BF had sent something super racy when we first started hanging out, I'd have probably responded by saying something like "I'm not sure how to respond to that quite yet", and then I also would have spoken to him about it in-person the next time we saw one another. We've been together just over 2 years, and I got my first racy text from him at the end of March (🍆). Yup, he sent me an eggplant after I told him I'd been to a lingerie store and bought a couple sexy little numbers for our upcoming weekend trip. That one got a (😁😘).

So yeah, I feel like it depends on a few things: how you guys behave when you're together, level of comfort, and how well do you know one another. Have you responded to his text yet?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

You said he was drinking. I wonder if he may have been drunk? 
It's another no from me.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Sue4473 said:


> They sent it when I’m usually asleep
> But I was awake.


Just respond. "Sorry, I was in the middle of a porn audition. What were you saying?" 😁


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Sue4473 said:


> Just an early morning chat lol while drinking coffee.
> 
> How do you respond to a racy text or flirty in detailed one from someone that you not sure of yet?
> 
> ...


I'm old and have been married for a long time. What is this now exactly? 😳


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

He still sounds creepy to me!


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Diana7 said:


> You said he was drinking. I wonder if he may have been drunk?
> It's another no from me.


I thought the same. Dude has gotten drunk, horny, and is fishing.

In a hypothetical parallel universe, and as @Ursula mentions depends on context, but if this was completely foreign to the interactions so far and I was on the receiving end, I wouldn't have much patience (or interest or flattery) for such shenanigans. NEXT!


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## The IT Guy (Oct 17, 2020)

Has he acted like this before IRL or is this the first?


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