# NEW HERE...HELLO!



## sbiggs65 (Apr 18, 2021)

Hello...in short, I'm on my 3rd H, married 4 time, twice to the same one. Currently married for 18 yrs, together for 19 but we've known each other since the 6th grade and actually graduated HS together. 
In the 18 yrs of marriage, I've left him 3 times, this is my 3rd and the longest I've been gone. I still love him and really don't want to be without him. I just don't know why I keep running. My communication skills are lacking which could be a major problem but I think it goes back to my childhood but I'm an far from a professional. My older brother molested me and my mother refuses to believe it to this day. Mom has been married 4 times, 3 kids with 3 different men.
I am going to get some professional counselling but curious as to what this group has to say.
Please don't judge me. I'm really struggling with this right now.


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## hubbyintrubby (Jul 5, 2019)

What is your main trigger or triggers for leaving or running when you do?


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

sbiggs65 said:


> Hello...in short, I'm on my 3rd H, married 4 time, twice to the same one. Currently married for 18 yrs, together for 19 but we've known each other since the 6th grade and actually graduated HS together.
> In the 18 yrs of marriage, I've left him 3 times, this is my 3rd and the longest I've been gone. I still love him and really don't want to be without him. I just don't know why I keep running. My communication skills are lacking which could be a major problem but I think it goes back to my childhood but I'm an far from a professional. My older brother molested me and my mother refuses to believe it to this day. Mom has been married 4 times, 3 kids with 3 different men.
> I am going to get some professional counselling but curious as to what this group has to say.
> Please don't judge me. I'm really struggling with this right now.


Welcome to the group. Be honest with us, tell us what you're struggling with, no trickle truthing, and be ready for the easy and the tough responses. You will get some great input here, but the forum is not a substitute for professional counseling. We don't know anything about you or him, but it sounds like there are some issues you need to address so that they don't come up again in this relationship or in the next ones. 

You can be happy again. Commit to finding that happiness.


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## sbiggs65 (Apr 18, 2021)

The reason that I left is this: Since COVID, I have been working from home while he has been going into work. (we work at the same place, all administrative offices) When he comes home, he takes a 2 hr nap and then complains about all the stuff that needs done around the house. He's up all hours of the night and is late for work every day. (I'm very punctual.) I'm a higher pay grade than he is but he has no interest in obtaining a better paying position within our facility. I worked my butt off last fall doing all the OT that I could do to bring in more $$ for Christmas. 
We live in his family home. He has not made provisions for me in the event he passes away, keeps saying that he will but hasn't. His kids will probably throw me out of the house if that happens. He has 3 children.
Maybe I'm scared of the unknown. Maybe I worry too much. Maybe I should just fly by the seat of my pants and not worry about not knowing.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

sbiggs65 said:


> Hello...in short, I'm on my 3rd H, married 4 time, twice to the same one. Currently married for 18 yrs, together for 19 but we've known each other since the 6th grade and actually graduated HS together.
> In the 18 yrs of marriage, I've left him 3 times, this is my 3rd and the longest I've been gone. I still love him and really don't want to be without him. I just don't know why I keep running. My communication skills are lacking which could be a major problem but I think it goes back to my childhood but I'm an far from a professional. My older brother molested me and my mother refuses to believe it to this day. Mom has been married 4 times, 3 kids with 3 different men.
> I am going to get some professional counselling but curious as to what this group has to say.
> Please don't judge me. I'm really struggling with this right now.


Love is not enough to base a marriage on.


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