# How do I deal/cope/accept?



## InLoveWithLove (Oct 26, 2010)

We've known each other for 3 years, married for 2. It moved very quickly, we moved in together after dating for 3 weeks so needless to say I was pregnant after about 3 months. We now have 2 beautiful daughters together. He said he fell in love with me because I was able to be his friend first. I know things changed with me because I lost my independence; with the birth of our first child I stopped working and ended up getting pregnant right away so being pregnant for 2 years and not having work for about the same put me into a post partum depression is what I'm summing it up to. To make matters worse, he wasn't really around to provide me with an emotional support that I so desperately yearned for as he is a very hard working man. I reached out to an old friend who I used to live with for a number of years to see how he was doing via text. My husband came across this text and this was the beginning of the end. He lost trust in me and it just went on a downhill spiral. He doesn't know how to deal with his emotions so rather than talking about what happened, he bottled it up until one day he exploded and tried to take everything from under me, so I left and brought my kids home to my mother which is several states away. Since leaving, I have began working again and am taking the steps to regain my independence but I can't help to still be in love with the man I married and want to be with him. We still talk on a consistent basis and he says he still loves me but he doesn't want to be in this relationship. I want this so bad but I know that I can't make him be with me. He says he wants a divorce but doesn't want to involve lawyers and he wants to continue the closeness that we still have and maybe one day "God" will bring us back together. He's told me that he's lonely and the only way for him to deal with this seperation is to move on. Apparently I'm the longest relationship that he's been in. He's coming to visit in the next couple of weeks and I don't know how I'm supposed to handle that? We talk everyday about any and everything but I guess I just don't know how to deal with the fact that he says he wants a divorce. Any help?


----------



## thestruggle (Nov 5, 2010)

I'm asking the same question a lot right now. How do I cope with this? People here today have really been kind. I've found reading what other people are going through,does help.

I get a sense from what you write that all hope is not lost!
You and he need to take it slow, a day at a time. You really need to tell him about your remorse for your mistakes made. He may come to see that it's not worth divorcing over if you just texted someone in a moment of weakness. That is not sexual infidelity. 
He may be talking divorce. Listen to him. Let him know that you can understand why he feels hurt and is thinking about things like separating. But perhaps with time you two can become close again and are willing to work on improving your relationship. Is he willing to go to marriage counselling?


----------

