# Question about attraction in long term relationships



## phnx_123 (Aug 5, 2011)

If in a long term (2 - 4 year) relationship the male partner tells the woman that he isn't physically attracted to her, will her physical attraction to him decrease over time?

This situation certainly represents an imbalance in that aspect of the relationship.

Additionally, and especially for men, physical attraction cannot be manufactured.

It is certainly common to see this imbalance in the short term, this question is more about the long term.


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## MadeMistakes (Apr 26, 2011)

Possibly so, possibly not. If she still loves him and is attracted to him, then it's doubtful that she will simply stop loving him and stop being attracted to him.

Why is he no longer attracted to her? That may have a lot to do with it. Is he "bored" of her because of the length of the relationship? How he communicates why he is no longer attracted to her may influence how she continues to feel about him, too.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I don't know. My husband and I have been together for 4 years but married for 2.

We are slowly reconciling, but daaammmmmm he's sooo sexy and he tells me all the time how sexy he thinks I am. lol. 

Yea. On a physical level, he has "it". Rawr.

Emotionally, we're getting back to good  It's good.


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## Laurae1967 (May 10, 2011)

Physical attraction in marriage is mental/emotional often times. You can be less attracted or more attracted to someone depending on what else is going on in the marriage. 

If a man stops being attracted to his wife, there can often be psychological issues that are impacting the attraction - fear of commitment, infidelity, stress in the marriage or at work, etc.

Give us more details so we can address your question with more precision.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I wouldn't want to be with someone who isn't physically attracted to me and doesn't want to have sex with me.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I really didn't understand your question the way it was worded. I agree with what laurae said above very much, so many facets of attraction. It would hurt to hear your spouse is not attracted, but why -is it weight, attitude, how she carries herself. It is important to both spouses if it is one, but such a sore subject none the less. 


I think Love can also go "blind" in many ways after you have been together & happy for many many years, when 2 hearts are so emeshed with each other. So if everything else in the relationship is so wonderful, the lines, the folds, they all "grow" along with us, we still see the young man or woman we marreid. Me & my husband are getting older, I don't like this, I still find him attractive, maybe even more now than I did when he was younger. He is one of those men who was a geek in high school , unnoticed but looks pretty darn good today almost 30 yrs later compared to some of the more popular who were HOT then, but now have bald heads & pot bellies. 

Often when we are out, I find myself checking him out -even right beside me, thinking if he wasn't mine, I would surely notice him. It is wonderful to feel this way about your spouse. But we have alot of glue to hold us together. The little imperfections -we hardly notice -this IS over the long haul.


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