# Funny moments during sex



## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

This past weekend my wife and I were out of town for a night.
We get a nice hotel room, dinner and prepare for sex. Things start out great and I am having her gina for dessert. All of a sudden I look to my left and all I can see is blood all over her leg. I lift my head up and say these words "you just had your period in my face!"

We both look at each other and she says "no, you cut yourself shaving." We both collapse in laughter. The kind where you cannot stop. I take blood thinners because of my heart problems and I had cut my self shaving getting ready for sex. Apparently I really started bleeding all over the place, including her leg when I was munching.

We laughed uncontrollably for a long time, cleaned up and neither of us had any problem getting to orgasm. I look on this as a positive. After 24 years of marriage, if you can laugh your ass off during sex, stop and then get right back at it without missing a beat, you're doing something right.

Anyone else have a funny story?


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

My kids were once pounding on the door asking why I was being so mean to mommy that she kept crying out to God so much.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

going at it pretty heavy, and not seeing we were too close to the edge of the bed.

we fell off the edge of the bed during coitus, both of us.

i braced my arm to take most of the impact of two falling bodies.

after the big 'thump', and asked her if she was hurt, i realized we were still in coitus and after realizing this we starting laughing
hysterically.

a sore arm, but that's it......


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

We were doing cowgirl position, when she decided to turn around. As she backed up onto me, I said, "Beeeep, beeeep, beeeep!" That interrupted things for a bit, as we were laughing so hard.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Broke the bed.........in a B&B in Europe.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

I was once getting some hand action under the covers until the cat dove on top of the bed and started doing what cats do to mysterious hidden things wiggling under the covers. 

Fortunately our comforter is thicker than our cat's claws!

Badsanta


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

When I was in high school, and I had to drive my mom to the local store in my car. She got in and instantly looked at the inside of the windshield. 

Her: Are those footprints on your windshield?!?
Me, trying and failing to be cool and calm: Yes.
Her: Who do they belong to?
Me: Heather.
Her: That's disgusting!

She was sitting in the very seat that Heather and I got busy in the night before...

----

So my room mate stole a toilet out of a German Nationals home while we were stationed in Germany. I don't know all of the details, but it was some kind of drunken dare. It was placed in our room after a thorough cleaning at the car wash.

There was a female that he and I would have threesomes with regularly. We decided we wanted to have fun with her with the toilet as the prop. She was game.

The jokes from that one lasted years...

Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I can't remember whether it was a TV show or a person we knew, but I had complained about a woman who would say in a nasty nasally voice, "you're doing it wrong." Later that night we had sex and he was missing the spot. So I said, in a nasty nasally voice, "you're doing it wrong." We both cracked up.

Sometimes when we're having sex, I just break into a grin. I can't help it and can't stop it. The first time it happened he questioned why I was smiling, after that he just accepted it as that crazy thing my wife does.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Married but Happy said:


> We were doing cowgirl position, when she decided to turn around. As she backed up onto me, I said, "Beeeep, beeeep, beeeep!" That interrupted things for a bit, as we were laughing so hard.


That's funny but....kinda dangerous if she has recently asked you if her butt looks big in these jeans.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

Laughter is very important in bed. We are always cracking up. Makes it even more special.

My H and I was in bed watching TV and our DD called. We put her on speaker and we're chatting for awhile. Then, me and H started having a convo, forgot about the DD in the phone. She went quiet. My H started flirting and kissing my neck. Then, our DD was like, what's going on. We looked at each other and cracked up.>
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ZDog377 (May 31, 2015)

A long time ago when we were trying to have another child, we tried any chance we could get. Our stairs and room at that time were carpeted so we didn't hear our oldest (would have been 6 at the time) come up the steps and into the room. Only when he jumped onto my back did we realize that he was in the room as well. The only thing that made it worse was when a few days later he was in the backseat of the car with my sister. They were talking and then he proceeds to tell her he went in mommy and daddy's room the other night and daddy was on top of mommy. Except he added some squeaking sounds and a game of charades too............


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Sex being the physically demanding "exercise" that it is, demands that you try to keep yourself in some semblance of shape and perhaps even warm up prior to engaging in it!

Picture this ~ While in the total throes of ecstasy, doing my RSXW in the missionary mode, I was dutifully and happily "plugging away" and felt the "grand crescendo" coming on, when I arched my hips and back, going in for the kill, when as fate would have it, I was the recipient of a double hamstring cramp which prohibited me from finishing her off, being in totally excruciating pain, with her literally laughing her a$$ off. I slid off of the bed and down onto the floor, trying to straighten my cramping legs up ~ as far as I knew, my erection went from 100 to 0 in nothing flat!

I know all too well that there's a time and a place for everything, but having a hamstring cramp in the middle of mind-blowing sex just ain't one of them!
*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

My wife and I dropped the kids off at grandma's house for the weekend. We went out for dinner, and when we got home I took her on the couch. I was going at it from behind, when the dog decided to come up and lick my butt-hole. Kinda broke the moment for me.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> That's funny but....kinda dangerous if she has recently asked you if her butt looks big in these jeans.


She slender, so there was very little danger. The humor was _partly_ in the absurdity that "heavy" equipment was involved. Besides, when spontaneous humor strikes, I really forget to think about self-preservation. That may someday be my downfall.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

larry.gray said:


> My wife and I dropped the kids off at grandma's house for the weekend. We went out for dinner, and when we got home I took her on the couch. I was going at it from behind, when the dog decided to come up and lick my butt-hole. Kinda broke the moment for me.


Similar happened to my H LONG ago. 

I think men have to establish the rule of non-participation with every dog.


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## Mrs. Rodriguez (Aug 5, 2012)

My kids have heard us having sex and said "why are you hurting mommy?"

Also, my husband always compliments me and tells me I'm sexy. Now my 5 year old uses "be sexy" as his catch phrase. He says it all the time....I just hope he hasn't said it at school


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

I told a ONS I met at a bar that I loved her while we were having sex. It was a habit! We had a great laugh over it after she had a horrified look on her face for a bit.


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## autopilot (Mar 16, 2012)

Quite a few years ago, my wife and I were having a conversation about voting in the upcoming election. Well, Election Day came as well as Erection Day. During the heat of the moment of intercourse, I remembered that I had voted but didn't know if she had. So, I stopped suddenly and asked her, "Did you vote?" without even realizing what I had done...until it registered with her and she paused and said "What???". We then broke out in uncontrollable laughter and finished what we had started. And, no, she had not voted.

We still occasionally get a big laugh out of that and she'll sometimes throw it out there to me when we're in the moment.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

opuss said:


> Never do that again.
> 
> It makes you sound like a psycho.
> 
> Especially if you think you mean it.


I agree. Of course, I'm married for 20 years. I think my ONS days are done!


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

opuss said:


> Can you imagine then if you did it backwards?
> 
> In the heat of passion with your wife you say 'You're the best one night stand I ever had!"


Ha, yeah, not so good!


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

opuss said:


> Hey you're at least having sex after 20 years.
> 
> Not too shabby


 Yeah, every once in a while.


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## QuietSoul (Feb 11, 2012)

I can't remember if this was with H or my ex bf... we were having sex, missionary, he was going for gold, then suddenly there was a blurting noise accompanying his thrusts. We both realised it was my vagina and we laughed uncontrolably for ages. I can't remember if we ended up finishing


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## Luvher4life (Jan 15, 2016)

All I have to add to this is never eat TexMex food a couple of hours or more before sex without Beano beforehand. Many a tune has been played in our bedroom, and they can be downright hilarious..., that is..., until you smacked in the nose with its aftermath...:surprise:


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