# Confused



## Unsure123 (Aug 10, 2012)

Ok so my husband and I are getting a divorce and he tells me he still loves me but doesnt want to be my husband anymore. He wants tostill have sex with me and has brought up dating me after the divorce. Because i still love him this really confuses me. Why would he still want these things and to date me if we want to divorce?


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## HappyKaty (Nov 20, 2012)

Unsure123 said:


> Ok so my husband and I are getting a divorce and he tells me he still loves me but doesnt want to be my husband anymore. He wants tostill have sex with me and has brought up dating me after the divorce. Because i still love him this really confuses me. Why would he still want these things and to date me if we want to divorce?


You, dear, are his plan B.

He's doing this to keep you around while he explores plan A.


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## confused army wife (Dec 4, 2012)

HappyKaty said:


> You, dear, are his plan B.
> 
> He's doing this to keep you around while he explores plan A.



I completely agree. I was in a relationship for three years like that. The only reason I let it go on was because I didn't want to be alone, even though I knew that he was being unfaithful. It's much easier said than done, but rip it off like a band-aid, work through the pain, and stay strong for yourself.


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## Unsure123 (Aug 10, 2012)

Thank you. I think I already knew that in my heart. It is so hard when you love someone who cant return it. I dont want to feel used. When I told him I would be open to date him with no sex for awhile, he informed me that in that case he couldn't hug me because it would make it too hard for him. He said when he has physical contact with me it causes a certain reaction and he would then want to show his love through sex. I guess that was a problem all along if he can only show his love that way. Very sad this morning.


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## jmb123 (Nov 9, 2012)

Unsure123 said:


> Thank you. I think I already knew that in my heart. It is so hard when you love someone who cant return it. I dont want to feel used. When I told him I would be open to date him with no sex for awhile, he informed me that in that case he couldn't hug me because it would make it too hard for him. He said when he has physical contact with me it causes a certain reaction and he would then want to show his love through sex. I guess that was a problem all along if he can only show his love that way. Very sad this morning.


Hello,
I feel, he just wants you for sex till the time he has another one;He has no 'LOVE' or respect for you;
If he had any respect then he would have left you straight without using you this way;
He is 'SELFISH';Kick him out of your life and do not let him use you emotionally by playing the 'love' card;Sorry i,I know I sound rude;But that is what he is;


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## Unsure123 (Aug 10, 2012)

I dont think you are rude, just stating your thoughts which I asked for. It is one thing to hear these things from friends and family and as hard as I dont want to believe them, strangers agreeing with them makes a pretty valid point. I think my goal now will be to not think the last ten years of my life has been wasted on someone who didnt deserve me. We have 3 young girls together and I am trying to raise strong women. What kind of example would i be setting for them if I continue to let someone use me in the hope of fixing something that is crushed.


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## jmb123 (Nov 9, 2012)

I have my prayers for your girls and am sure they will be strong women for you seem to be one with a clear mind and vision;
I am sorry you too are having to face this in life like many of us;
Stay strong;And focused towards a happy and healthy life;God bless you;


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## Unsure123 (Aug 10, 2012)

Thank you for your prayers god knows i need them. I just hope this gets easier. So far we have kept it civil for our girls and i hope that it remains that way. Super hard as there was no cheating on either side, so love remains.


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