# 3 year old tantrums



## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

I'm at witt's end! My 3 year old has the deck stacked against him. He is slow in speech (on wait list for speech therapy), he has a new baby brother (jealous), and a dad that can throw a tantrum with the best of them. 
I swear to God I'm consistant! My son can't handle the word 'no' or 'be careful' or any kind of instruction. If I'm changing baby and I forget to let him 'help' by getting a diaper he loses control. In these situations he will shout 'no' over and over and hit, kick, hit me with a hockey stick or throw a tv remote, pen or whatever in reach at me.
Everytime I calmly walk him upstairs and put him in his playpen. He's calm but as soon I leave the room he cries and screams. I go get him 5 minutes later and he's calm the second I go get him he starts crying no and won't let me pick him up. It happened 5 times yesterday. What am I doing wrong?
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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

Two pronged approach:

- Prong one is to solicit cooperation at the front end. Instead of "no", try some things that prevent barriers to cooperation. "It would be helpful if you cleaned your toys." "I am concerned that you are going to pinch your fingers. Please remove your fingers." (Read Discipline for Life and How to Talk so your kids will listen.)

- If he throws a fit of any kind, "you do not have the right to cause the rest of us distress. Leave him until he is calm and remains calm. Don't try to pick him up. Leave him until he is calm. The natural consequence of being a pill is people don't want to be around you. So don't. Let him experience the consequence.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

PS Every parent in the would should read Discipline for Life, Getting it Right with Children and How to Talk SO Your Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Your Kids Will Talk.


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