# Struggling with parenting issue



## My annabel lee (May 27, 2012)

I am in the military and currently stationed overseas away from my family (one year). My wife took a job position that requires some travel/long hours. We have three children. We are really struggling on how we should handle school age children and travel commitments with our jobs. 


Since I have been in the military, we have lived away from extended family/friends. We already sent our oldest (12 y.o.) to his grandparents to live for the year, so he can participate in extra-curricular activities. This is something he would have to give up considering my wife's long hours. My wife has my two daughters (ages 6 and 10) with her. School has just started and my wife has to leave at the end of the month for a week. We have discussed pulling them out of school and sending them to the grandparents for a few weeks. 

I wouldn't have a problem with this if this is a one time deal, however, more travel throughout the school year is probable. My wife's career is very important to her. I am just not so sure pulling my kids out of school like this is helping them.

Help!!


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## chiben (Jun 26, 2012)

Is there no one around you who can help? Close family or friends?


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## anxiousbones (Sep 9, 2012)

Could any of the relatives come to stay at your home so your kids' schedule is not interrupted so much? Or could you afford some live-in help, a nanny or housekeeper?


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

Someone needs to make a sacrifice for the kids. Either someone needs to scale back on their job or get/hire some help!

I am sorry but these kids need YOU. Careers/jobs are important but not the the end. You will never be grateful for having a good job when you die but you will be grateful for having good kids!


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## Couleur (Apr 4, 2012)

For next week you either need to send the kids to a relative or to get a relative to come and stay. I'd seriously recommend that you PAY the person to compensate for their time, even if the pay takes the form of a "thank you" gift certificate rather than $$. I know this gets tricky with relatives, but getting an emergency nanny would be much more expensive!

Longer term -- 
You can look into getting an Au Pair (costs about $800/ month + room and board), but the person lives in your house and is supposed to provide 40 hours of childcare per week and you get a chance to introduce your kids to someone from a different culture.

If you are in a college town, consider advertising on their student job board. Again, you could try to get someone to live in, or you can hire someone to come and stay while your wife is gone. 

Frankly, however, I think 6 is very young to deal with long separations, even with a big sister there to support her and with the ability to skype/ phone whenever there is an issue.


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## Falene (Dec 31, 2011)

Did your wife fall and suffer a head injury? What on earth was she thinking?

No matter what, you do not take a job that requires one child to be sent away for a year and the other two to be pulled out of school for a week.

I have no idea what she was thinking but she needs to quit the job and find something that allows her to be present in the lives of her children.

I have a 5 and 7 year old and they would be devastated just to have their father gone not to mention me as well.

This truly boggles my mind.


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

I don't mean to sound judgmental but the kids should be more important than career. They're children, not dogs!... and I wouldn't board my dog for a year.

Either you or her is going to have to sacrifice so that the kids can stay home where they belong. You both have jobs that require travel/a lot of time away from home. That's one traveling job too many. She should find something local or you should.


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