# Losing Husband over daughter



## wifeyre (Oct 18, 2013)

Hi, Please advise

I have been married for 4 years and my husband spends all his time with our Daughter and doesn't see the importance of us spending time alone as a couple.

The last time he ever took me out for lunch or dinner was 3 years ago and the last time he ever bought me flowers was 3 years ago aswell and he didn't buy the flowers because he wanted to but because he was guilty of what he had done then.

What happens is our daughter stays with us, she has her own bedroom but she sleeps with us cause hubby takes her from her bed to ours and now she no longer wants to sleep in her own bed and hubby is okay with that. Our friends organised a get-away for us to go relax away from home and what happened is he called back at his mothers place where we left our daughter in his mothers care and his mother told him that our daughter was crying he then drove all the way leaving me at the place where the accomodation was booked for us and went to fetch our daughter and came back with her, yes seriously! Without even concidering how I felt about it.

When we are invited to go for lunch with other couples (who do have kids) he would go on about how he misses his daughter and all. He would go on and on, and the others couples also came without their kids so they can just get a breath of fresh air.

It's like our daughter is more important in our relationship that I often feel I'm not needed.

When I try to teach and descipline our child, he would always go against me and I have come to a point where I dont make any decisions about our daughter like getting her to sleep in her own bed, what to wear, what is healthy for her e.t.c cause what he decides about what should be done regarding our daughter goes. 

I feel like I have lost my Husband and don't know what to do. 

Please help


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Wow, I feel for you. What your describing is very unhealthy, for both your marriage and your daughter.

Your husband needs to realise that the best gift that the two of you can give your daughter is a strong, stable marriage and homelife.

I'd be getting the two of you into counselling asap if I were you.


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## Hortensia (Feb 1, 2013)

It is unhealthy at best. How old is your daughter? sleeping in the same bed with you guys if she is more than 5 is worrisome. Keep an eye on him. Child molesters sometimes start this way; I'm not saying it is the case, but you never know. 
Counselling should be the prime thing on the list. He may need IC. Hopefully his behavior doesn't mess up your daughter. Girls "fall in love" with dads. They view them like heros. A healthy boundary is a must to keep father-daughter relationship healthy and sacred.

As for his treatment of you...hell, your situation is the very reason why I am reluctant to bring a child in my still romantic marriage...


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## Omego (Apr 17, 2013)

Hortensia said:


> It is unhealthy at best. How old is your daughter? sleeping in the same bed with you guys if she is more than 5 is worrisome. Keep an eye on him. Child molesters sometimes start this way; I'm not saying it is the case, ..


This is what came to my mind as well.....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bevixnz (Nov 22, 2013)

Probably a better night sleep for all and a step to a healthier relationship to get your Daughter back in her bed.


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