# I feel nothing



## karilynn (Feb 17, 2010)

Not sure if somethings wrong with me or what. I am moving out within 2 weeks from husband #2- long story - have posted on some of the problems on here but let's just say - he couldn't handle my oldest daughter (now 21)and she couldn't handle him so now we will part. Its been a battle since day one and it will be a relief to get it over with.

I moved out last summer only to return 3 months later - things seemed to be much better - but the old argument and controversy between him and her reared its ugly head again involving alcohol, fighting, guns, charges and etc. Its just too much for me and I have decided to end it for good.

The only feeling I am having is nervousness because we are still in the same house and he makes me nervous because he is constantly trying to make me feel guilty or warn me of impending doom or yell or whatever to get me to change my mind - of which none is going to work.......

Other than that - I feel nothing. Nothing at all. So I guess that means that I am doing the right thing to put this 7 years of chaos and bittersweet love behind me. 

I don't have a lot of support - people don't know the whole story - but the only person I need to convince is me - and I've been convinced. Good luck to everyone else and to me - I guess we will all need it!


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

If you feel confident in what you are doing, then go you!

Feeling numb is a normal defensive process. It's ok -- just be ready, because at some point all those feelings are going to be waiting for you. But sounds like you've been making good decisions.


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## karilynn (Feb 17, 2010)

Thanks lamaga. Yes, I guess I do feel confident - so that is something isn't it? I guess I just have finally made up my mind that my mind will not be changed.....been a lot of back and forth over the last few years and have now decided that I care NOT what other people think about it - they haven't lived my life and they don't know so I'm following my gut. And usually - my intuitions are pretty much right on..........


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## blossom29 (May 19, 2012)

Im sorry, ive not got any great advice to offer, im new to all this kind of thing, but i think that maybe all the previous stress and pain is whats causing you to be numb. Be grateful for it at the moment, it will make it easier to leave, but i would say that you should expet the feelings to overwhelm you at some point, they come thick and fast and are uncontrollable. hopefully, you will be in a better place to deal with them when they do come along. best of luck to you, and well done for taking control x


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

If he is as disrespectful to you and your daughter as you say he has been all along (going back in your threads to beginning of 2010) then yes you are doing the right thing.

My big concern is your "thinking of affair" thread and how often when their is an escape fantasy it correlates to "I feel nothing" for my spouse. So to check that off the list, has there been any sort of infidelity physically or emotionally on your part? If not has there been anyone in particular you would have considered it with and if so are they still in your life? Have you even just been stuck in a fantasy you can't get out of?

I'm not trying to be acusatory, just saying that with infidelity comes emotional rewriting of the marital history, and so if you have been with someone else the words you speak now about the state of your marriage were corrupted completely by not being invested in the marriage.

If you haven't and have had a clear consciensce all along then you are making a rational decision to end the marriage.


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