# Can 30 year young man hold sexual desire (no erection)for long? because he is mad.



## Belly (Jan 26, 2010)

Probably I will need lots of men's advices.

He is late 20s and I am 30. 2year dating and 2 year marriage.

Current condition with him 
- He doesn't want to sleep with me on the bed.
- Refusing to make love to me even kiss.
- Refusing to have a conversation with me.

He went out of house last year twice and came back. The first time when he went out of house, I thought he was too stressed out of our marriage. After few monthes, he came back and in few days, he went out of house again without any incident. And he again came back with his own will. I barely contact him while he was out. Rather he was checking on me even with block id calls or sneaking around our place to see if I was home.

I love him but I knew that I can't make him love me and make him come back home. So I was just trying to keep my life and waitting for him at home(not moving out). Not even asking money anything.

He came back with his own will with lots of Christmas presents. I was confused about his behavior. I tried to talk to him, because even though he came back with presents, he was still mad at me and refused to make love to me. 

He told me even he came back to get aggrement on diverce from me. and came back , cause felt sorry to me Why? He knows if he want divorce, I would do it. What else can I do? 

He is still with me. Saying I don't love you but I care about you. 

I am doing my best to show my love to him. Hug him even though he pushes me away. do good night kiss to him, cook for him. I mean I am doing wow all I can do. 

2 weeks ago I found the video he was kissing with another girl in a house in his email and his laptop. He insisted so strongly he didn't sleep with that person even thought it was house he used to stay. We had a big fight about it. Of course, he barely responded me to wharever I said.

I have to say I am not ugly at all. I am slim and pretty ^.^ and have a job. There is nothing he felt sorry to me about. 

Lastly, something he told me out of nowhere he has been made love to me without any enthusiasm since the honeymoon. Because he was mad at me(we didn't make love like 2 month before marriage from my idea that being sort of holy for marriage). He almost never made me real happy from the dating by the way. 

I don't buy anything he told me. Not make sense at all. There was no reason he came back if he didn't love me I think. 

Is he gay? or Is he having any his penis problem?
There was no erection when I tried to him. 

Is it possible to young man like my hus to hold their sexual desire to wife and not even having erection without any mental or phsical problem?

Please help me!!


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## mike1 (Jun 15, 2009)

There's a lot of information here but you've left out a lot. You don't say why he's so mad which is really your issue. Based on what you're saying he is very upset about something or he resents you for some reason. That might help a lot but you need to find out why he's mad at you and work on that. He left the house twice in your first year of marriage so there are obviously some huge issues and some things you're leaving out about what might have caused his behaviors. 

If he wants to repair the relationship then why don't you try some marriage counseling together? If he doesn't want to repair the relationship and get to the root of the issues then you have to decide if this is what you want...


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## mike1 (Jun 15, 2009)

BTW, of course all men are different but there's little that stops me from wanting sex. I would have to be incredibly angry with my wife to stop wanting sex from her but yes I imagine it is possible.


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## Belly (Jan 26, 2010)

Maybe rather I wish all his behavior came from his madness toward me. not physical or mental problem. 
2 year marriage, of course there was many conflicts. 
I tried to change him and I have been nagging him to do things like putting lundries into basket, brush your teeth so on. The most one I didn't understand was that what he is doing at home is only watching TV. Once he came home turn on Tv and he fell into sleep with remote control in his hand on the sofa.

Absolutely, it way the worst idea to nag and change him. I admitted and apologized and fixed almost. 

What can we do now? What will be the best way to work our marriage out?

He doesn't want to see marriage counseler or other elders who succeeded marriage and doesn't want to talk about it with me.

If my behavior caused everything, why is he still same ,even though I stopped nagging him. It has been since July last year. I believe the time was more than enough for him to think and forgive me and try if he is willing.

I am still confused why he came back.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

It's because he's having an affair. At least one. Install a keylogger on his computer to find out who he's contacting. Get proof. Expose the affair, and THEN decide if you want to keep him.


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

Belly said:


> 2 weeks ago I found the video he was kissing with another girl in a house in his email and his laptop. He insisted so strongly he didn't sleep with that person even thought it was house he used to stay. We had a big fight about it. Of course, he barely responded me to wharever I said.


This doesn't sound like he's gay...it sounds like he's having an affair and his attention is elsewhere. If he is not willing to go to counseling or work on the marriage, there is not much you can do other than force the issue...we either try to make this work or go our separate ways.


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## laredo (Jan 23, 2010)

Go find a nice man that will have sex with you at the drop of a hat.


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## Belly (Jan 26, 2010)

As I said, I found the vedio on his phone and laptop.( kissing other girl at another house) Who is gonna believe that he didn't sleep with that bi*ch. But his deniel is so believable. 

I don't think he is still with that person. Cause she was living with another man and quit working. (they were co-workers) 

Why did he come back to me? Why? 

Today he told me he will be leaving me again and he wants me to stay our place. Strong deniel no other girl..

Only reason he should leave me is that he doesn't feel right with me. What is this?? 

Keep telling me I don't listen what he is saying. 

What on earth " doesn't feel right" can be the reason of all his behavior?


Why did he come back to me with lots of Christmas present?
Is everything out of guilt? Why does he want to keep in contact with me? Why doesn't he want a divorce, even though he keeps telling me no hope in our marriage?
Also I see the possibility about gay. Cause he told me he has made love to me without enthusiasm from the honeymoon which I agree. 
I feel I have to know the truth. if not, it will bug me the rest of my life. How DO you guys think?


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## seeking sanity (Oct 20, 2009)

Get out of the marriage. he sounds incredibly immature and things won't get better. (Plus, do you really want a man you have to nag to get to brush his teeth? ick.)

A key logger on his computer will tell you what you need to know. He sounds pretty screwed up.


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