# My wife wants a divorce but I dont



## Wade79 (Mar 21, 2016)

Everything seemed to be fine up until a month ago. She started sleeping on the couch and I thought it was because she was hot. Then it continued to happen, she has not slept in our bed for over a month now. She doesn't want me to touch her. She says it's because I have ignored her for way to long. I really don't know what she's talking about but I apologized none the less and have tried to get her to talk to me and work this out. She refuses to talk to me. She stays on her phone or sleeps on the couch all day when I'm off work or sometimes she doesn't come back after taking the kids to school just to avoid me. 
She has started staying up til sometimes 5 in the morning with an 18 year old male friend of the family. They stay back in the game room watching tv or playing on their phones. I am 37, she is 38, and we've been married for 18 years. I am not at all a jealous person but I have told her that doesn't look good but she says there is nothing wrong with what she's doing. The more I try to talk to her, the madder she gets. I sent the guy a message and told him that midnight was plenty long enough for him to stay. She was absolutely furious and said I crossed the line. She also said she was scared of me. I can't understand why. It's like she just wants to force me away. We have 4 kids, I still love her very much and I don't want our marriage to end. I feel like this is something that we should be able to take care of. Any suggestions?


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Why is there an 18 yo in the house? 

What is the story about you ignoring her? There is more to this than you are telling us. 

How old are the kids and is your wife a stay at home mom?


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## syhoybenden (Feb 21, 2013)

Maybe she's just doing a little sex-ed for the poor kid.


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

OP,
Any and all other issues notwithstanding you are permitting a hormone crazed, Penis driven, cognitively underdeveloped young man to be alone in your house with your thirty something (research that age in women) year old wife until 5:00am??? Fascinating.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

NoChoice said:


> OP,
> Any and all other issues notwithstanding you are permitting a hormone crazed, Penis driven, cognitively underdeveloped young man to be alone in your house with your thirty something (research that age in women) year old wife until 5:00am??? Fascinating.


Agree. That is not logical!


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

syhoybenden said:


> Maybe she's just doing a little sex-ed for the poor kid.


Volunteer work helping those less fortunate.


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## AndyJackTeddy (Mar 18, 2015)

Trust your gut feelings!!!
If you suspect something is going on, it's proberly true.
Do some snooping...


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Oh dear Lord...

:slap:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

It's your home too. Put him out.

You have to know what's going on. 

You my friend are in need of a couple VAR's and I'd do a deleted text recovery on the phone as well.

Doesn't take a genius to figure this one out.

You being weak and timid around this will end badly. They are screwing with your life, family and future. Do not tolerate this behavior. Period. Sounds like you've let this get out of control. That is on you its your home.

Im assuming you knew his parents. Better have a serious talk with them and ban him from your home. Make a trip to the police and see what your option are if this doesn't work.


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## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

My first reaction is that this probably a troll post, especially given the post count. It is so much a cookie cutter outrage baiting --almost can't believe it-- narrative.

But there are real people, a lot of them, in real situations like this. On the chance that this is real, or that someone else will see this, I have to tell you that you are seriously deluding yourself that what is going on in your house

Some people have no clue that they should set boundaries in a relationship or how to do that. Sometimes that works out when the spouse has a solid character, though it will put strain on the respect your spouse has for you in the best of situations. But more often it leads to a story like this where clearly the Betrayed Spouse (Thats you OP--let's call it like it is) has lost all power in the relationship, if he ever even had any at all. All of this in spite of you "being a good person", devoted, working hard, being a good (and often the only) breadwinner. It seems unlikely that your wife works with this lifestyle. None of this matters. What does matter is the chemicals chugging into her brain case from the affair.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Wade79 said:


> Everything seemed to be fine up until a month ago. She started sleeping on the couch and I thought it was because she was hot. Then it continued to happen, she has not slept in our bed for over a month now. She doesn't want me to touch her. She says it's because I have ignored her for way to long. I really don't know what she's talking about but I apologized none the less and have tried to get her to talk to me and work this out. She refuses to talk to me. She stays on her phone or sleeps on the couch all day when I'm off work or sometimes she doesn't come back after taking the kids to school just to avoid me.
> She has started staying up til sometimes 5 in the morning with an 18 year old male friend of the family. They stay back in the game room watching tv or playing on their phones. I am 37, she is 38, and we've been married for 18 years. I am not at all a jealous person but I have told her that doesn't look good but she says there is nothing wrong with what she's doing. The more I try to talk to her, the madder she gets. I sent the guy a message and told him that midnight was plenty long enough for him to stay. She was absolutely furious and said I crossed the line. *She also said she was scared of me. *I can't understand why. It's like she just wants to force me away. We have 4 kids, I still love her very much and I don't want our marriage to end. I feel like this is something that we should be able to take care of. Any suggestions?


Get out of your denial of what's going on here. Wake up!!!

She's saying she is afaid to set you up and have you removed from the home so she can do as she pleases. Better have a VAR on you as backup. I suspect you'll have a restraint order against you soon. 

Better prepare. Get to an attourney.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

Wade79 said:


> Everything seemed to be fine up until a month ago. She started sleeping on the couch and I thought it was because she was hot. Then it continued to happen, she has not slept in our bed for over a month now.
> 
> <<<(this here was when i assumed she was having an affair. You don't leave your bed unless you are angry OR straying, you say she was not angry....so she is straying.)
> 
> ...





MY SUGGESTION, file for divorce. show her you will do as she wishes, but expose her actions for what they are. Pathetic and disgusting. I bet the mutual friend's parents should know a thing or tow about their sons activities at your house.......


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## MachoMcCoy (Oct 20, 2014)

Wade79 said:


> She has started staying up til sometimes 5 in the morning with an 18 year old male friend of the family. They stay back in the game room watching tv or playing on their phones.


Put a nanny cam in that room.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

"They stay back in the game room watching tv or playing on their phones."

I'll bet they are cuddled up nice and cozy watching tv. They're not playing on their phones, they are playing with each other.

Tell me the door isn't closed/locked.

She got angry? With YOU???? 
When she won't sleep in the marriage bed but will stay up until 5 am with an 18 year old boy?
Hmmm.

Yes, this sounds pretty far out and hard to believe to me. 
She would know what angry looks like when the 18 year old was found alone with her; 5 in the morning? Hell, they'd drag his arse out of my house at that point.
You are are trolling or just plain mentally handicapped.


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## DanielleBennett (Oct 9, 2015)

Your wife is cheating on you, it clearly shows with how angry she gets when you ask her about him. She doesn't want any affection from you and doesn't sleep in the bed with you but is plenty happy spending all of this time with him? Did you stop giving her affection for a while and she became detached? You said that she doesn't want you to touch her now but clearly you are making an effort to show affection and she is refusing it. You need to ban this 18 year old from the home, but first, put a camera or some sort of recording device in the room so if you catch her cheating you can keep it as evidence and get a lawyer.


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## DanielleBennett (Oct 9, 2015)

Also, there is something wrong with what she is doing. She is putting her husband aside to spend more time with an 18 year old in the same house! How sick is that? I wouldn't have let him stay past dinnertime and NEVER let it get that far. Especially when you went to sleep you still let him stay? I admire that you aren't a jealous person and you were letting her hang out but boundaries needed to be set first.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

@Wade79

Are there any updates?


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