# Hurt,Angry and resentful



## scooter01 (Jul 23, 2015)

This is my first post,

A little about myself: I am a 50 year old male ,married for 14 years and have 2 children with my wife.I started having problems maintaining a erection during sex. It started out very rarely but has been getting worse. I know its not physical and its all in my head. I feel our sex life is one sided as my wife puts all the pressure of romance and foreplay on my shoulders. I took the time and effort to understand what it is that she needs to get her in the mood. Over time I figured out her body , her preferences and she is able to have multiple orgasms including G-spot and squirting. However she has never took the time nor the ambition to find out mine , hell she hasn't even learned her own body and refuses to even touch herself. Its bothered me for quite some time that she doesn't seem the need or desire to reciprocate these feelings.

So lately sex has become a chore , as long as she is satisfied in that department she thinks everything is fine.I tried to talk to her about this several times but to no avail. A couple of months back it got to the point I wasn't interested in sex and feeling like my needs did not matter. So we had a long talk about what I was feeling and she asked what she could do help me. I told her what my needs are and what I would like for her to do . Well 2 months later nothing has changed , not once did she even try what I had suggested .We have sex 2-3 times a week and she always has orgasms and when she isn't satisfied she begs , guilt's and pleads for more till she gets what she wants. Me on the other hand only orgasm about 50 percent of the time . Always responsible for my own just a hurry up and finish , not even a helping hand!

What hurts the most is that I have always been there for her. Early in our marriage she had a back injury that required several surgeries and was on powerful pain medications for a year. I did everything for her and work full time. She often says I don't know what I would have done back then without you. I am at the point I just don't understand! does she not care , give a crap or is that blind!
I am Hurt , Angry and Resentful! 
Where do I go from here?


----------



## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

outside of the bedroom how is the relationship between the two of you? I think in most cases sexual problems are related to other relationship problems. You've been married 14 years. Was sex always this unsatisfying to you?


----------



## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

scooter01 said:


> when she isn't satisfied *she begs , guilt's and pleads for more* till she gets what she wants. Me on the other hand only orgasm about 50 percent of the time . Always responsible for my own just a hurry up and finish , not even a helping hand!


Ummmmmm.... you do know that this is when you should "put it in" as opposed to just letting her finish OR stop and have her give you some attention until you will continue?

As fun as it is to bring my wife to orgasm in various ways, if I do not stop and connect with her so that *we are both sharing the moment*, I always consider that my fault if taking her foreplay a little too far to the point it satisfies her. Kind of like filling up on appetizers before the entree arrives and then the idea of eating more is unappealing. 

Sounds like you like you are in a situation where you have something to work with, just pay attention to your timing of things.

Cheers,
Badsanta


----------



## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

scooter01 said:


> This is my first post,
> 
> A little about myself: I am a 50 year old male ,married for 14 years and have 2 children with my wife.I started having problems maintaining a erection during sex. It started out very rarely but has been getting worse. I know its not physical and its all in my head. I feel our sex life is one sided as my wife puts all the pressure of romance and foreplay on my shoulders. I took the time and effort to understand what it is that she needs to get her in the mood. Over time I figured out her body , her preferences and she is able to have multiple orgasms including G-spot and squirting. However she has never took the time nor the ambition to find out mine , hell she hasn't even learned her own body and refuses to even touch herself. Its bothered me for quite some time that she doesn't seem the need or desire to reciprocate these feelings.
> 
> ...



Sounds like your wife has the high sex drive HD and you are the lower sex drive LD hubby.

If you're having issues, take L - arginine power 10g with water on an empty stomach just before you go to sleep. This raises your human growth hormone levels, your dreams will be vivid and clear and you should wake up hard and in the mood often.

You can go to the family doctor and get your test levels checked. Having lower test levels can be fixed with regular test shots. Makes a huge improvement like you are in your teens again.

You can buy natural test boosters and weight train.


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Have you asked directly for what you want? Is is possible she doesn't want to hurt your feelings or pressure you so she leaves you to dictate? I've had some experience with this and while I'm happy to do whatever I can I don't want to pressure.


----------



## Happilymarried25 (Mar 19, 2014)

Stop meeting her sexual needs until she starts meeting yours. Sex doesn't seem enjoyable to you he way it is. When she asks you whats going on explain to her the situation. She has no reason to change the way it is now as she is getting her needs met.


----------



## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
She is sexually selfish and maybe doesn't realize it. You have told her what you want, but she doesn't want to do it. 

Does she think what you are asking for is unreasonable?

I don't know how to make her realize how she is behaving. Have you tried the next time she begs for something in bed saying "sure, but do XYZ for me first"?

Its fairly common. My wife talks about wanting to please me in bed, but in reality there are a very limited set of things she is willing to do. I do everything for her, because I enjoy her pleasure, but the result is a very unbalanced sexual relationship.


----------

