# Alimony question. Can I quit my job and divorce at the same time?



## y5mgisi (Oct 20, 2021)

I hate my job and am considering divorce also.
I'm 35m and had the same job for 14 years. Pay is decent. Around 85k gross yearly.

Wife is 34f and hasn't worked since she was 20. She's a stay at home wife with no income.

We have no kids, and we own our house.

I would like to quit my job, and get a divorce at essentially the same time so I can pick up where I left off on my life.

But what about the courts, alimony, and the house? House is worth around $480k and we owe $220k.

Will I be legally allowed to quit my job and then?

Curious to hear your thoughts on this subject.


----------



## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

You can quit your job anytime you want. However the alimony you will have to pay your wife will be based on your current earnings.


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Alimony will be based on your recent earnings _potential_, so you can quit this job but will need another with similar earnings.


----------



## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

y5mgisi said:


> _*I hate my job and am considering divorce also.
> I'm 35m and had the same job for 14 years. Pay is decent. Around 85k gross yearly.
> 
> Wife is 34f and hasn't worked since she was 20. She's a stay at home wife with no income.*_


Not quite sure why she chose to be a stay at home if she didn't have kids.

In either event, this was an agreed-upon situation and therefore, it's highly likely you'll have to pay alimony - even if it's just for a few years while she gets an education or trade and can begin supporting herself.

Right now, she only has the skills to work at McDonald's or at Army Navy folding jeans. That doesn't support anyone.

Don't be foolish and quit your job that provides well for you. Geez, what are you, 18 years old? That is just so irresponsible.

Alimony will be figured on YOUR earning history/potential. So if you think you're being cute by quitting your job then taking a low-paying one until the divorce is over, think again.


----------



## y5mgisi (Oct 20, 2021)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Not quite sure why she chose to be a stay at home if she didn't have kids.
> 
> In either event, this was an agreed-upon situation and therefore, it's highly likely you'll have to pay alimony - even if it's just for a few years while she gets an education or trade and can begin supporting herself.
> 
> ...


Uh ok... Thanks for just judging me for being a pos. I've learned now not to bother asking advice on this forum... Forget it.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

y5mgisi said:


> I hate my job and am considering divorce also.
> I'm 35m and had the same job for 14 years. Pay is decent. Around 85k gross yearly.
> 
> Wife is 34f and hasn't worked since she was 20. She's a stay at home wife with no income.
> ...


Judges don't view kindly on people who could be working but aren't. I would advise you get through your divorce and finalized before quitting your job just so you look like a productive member of society. I don't know where you live, but since your wife hasn't been working all this time, some states or countries might even insist you provide support to her for some time. You quitting your job will not prevent this if it's going to happen. If you went along with her staying at home, you may have to support her. If she just never would work and you can some way prove that, it might be a different outcome, but I really doubt it. Especially if they think you have enough money to quit your job, they would think you had enough money to support her for awhile. You need to keep working.


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

y5mgisi said:


> I hate my job and am considering divorce also.
> I'm 35m and had the same job for 14 years. Pay is decent. Around 85k gross yearly.
> 
> Wife is 34f and hasn't worked since she was 20. She's a stay at home wife with no income.
> ...


Why don't you quit your current job and find a NEW one. Then you can initiate the divorce. Not only will they ding you for alimony, but in all fairness doing both of those at the same time will be a TON of stress for you.
Get the job settled first (so you know your financials going in to the divorce).


----------



## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Yeah you will likely be dinged for alimony based on your earning potential, but.....everything is negotiable. I'm guessing the house will have to be sold correct? Maybe you can turn over additional equity to her and avoid support altogether. Or a larger chunk of any retirement accounts. 

Starting over without being financially obligated to your ex is well worth it in my book.


----------



## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

y5mgisi said:


> Uh ok... Thanks for just judging me for being a pos. I've learned now not to bother asking advice on this forum... Forget it.


Did you come here for real answers or were you hoping to hear "go for it!" People are telling you the truth. This is not the same as judging you.


----------



## Tested_by_stress (Apr 1, 2021)

Are you trying to walk away free of financial obligation? If so, good luck with that. The courts hate deadbeats.


----------



## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

What does pick up your life where you left off actually mean? Go to school? Take a job paying less than you’re making now? Travel around the country and work fast food when you’re low on funds? Not work at all for awhile? Depending on where you live, alimony will likely be in your future. Check with a divorce lawyer.


----------



## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

y5mgisi said:


> Uh ok... Thanks for just judging me for being a pos. I've learned now not to bother asking advice on this forum... Forget it.



You come across as one of those uber thin-skin arses.

Hopefully, you will not follow advice, and do the stupid quitting the job, and divorce at the same time, so that you can get a real taste of what the court system do to smart asses that think that they can up one on the system. You'll be in for a rude and painful financial awakening.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Tested_by_stress said:


> Are you trying to walk away free of financial obligation? If so, good luck with that. The courts hate deadbeats.


No kids. Both are healthy. Both are relatively young and able to conquer their own lives.

Why are you projecting? Damn right he should seek the best terms available.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

How will the mortgage and bills get paid if you have no income? The lawyers fees?
How about you look for another job before you quit the one you are in now.


----------



## Tested_by_stress (Apr 1, 2021)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> No kids. Both are healthy. Both are relatively young and able to conquer their own lives.
> 
> Why are you projecting? Damn right he should seek the best terms available.


Projecting? Not projecting SFA. Just misread and thought there was a child or children involved.


----------



## Trident (May 23, 2018)

y5mgisi said:


> Uh ok... Thanks for just judging me for being a pos. I've learned now not to bother asking advice on this forum... Forget it.


You get offended way too easily. Especially since it was only one random poster on an obscure internet forum.

You got a lot of great advice, hopefully you'll take it and not make the foolish move of quitting your job thinking you'll be off the hook for support because you won't. 

Unless you a) quit your job. b) wait a really long time like 3 years and then c) get divorced and d) get a good attorney that can counter the argument your ex spouse will undoubtedly make that there's nothing stopping you from working and earning a salary commiserate with what you were making several years earlier.

The equity in the home has little to do with it although sometimes if the dependent spouse gets a large windfall in their share of marital assets, spousal support "may" be reduced or even eliminated but don't count on it. Especially since we're not talking millions of dollars here.


----------



## y5mgisi (Oct 20, 2021)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Geez, what are you, 18 years old? That is just so irresponsible.
> 
> So if you think you're being cute by quitting your job then taking a low-paying one until the divorce is over, think again.


Just assumed eh? I don't give a flying fk about any of the money. At all. I don't care how much she would get or I would get. Anything. I just desperately want to quit my job. The job I have worked at for over 14 years. While my wife worked for about a year, part time. I'm so irresponsible? I'm 18 years old? Yeah that's why this fked up relationship has lasted 14 years while she hasn't worked, put on 100lbs since we got together, her parents lived with us for I think 11 years now (oh and btw, he gets $1100 a month in disability. I don't see any of it. They pay their part of the phone bill (they're on my plan) and their part of the car insurance (they're on my plan for that too...), and then he mostly smokes the rest in cigarettes. Usually 2-3 packs a day. Which is also great cause no one else in the house smokes...

My passion is cars and trucks. I like to play with them and do stuff in my garage. It's great because he has to come through the garage to get outside to go smoke... It seems clear to me that I would make as much or more money by opening an auto shop than with my current job. But that's too scary for my wife, for me to put our income on the line by chasing that dream. Again, I don't know why I'm still typing. And I don't know why you're still reading. It's pretty much all for not. I'm just going to continue hating myself and not taking action anyway.


----------



## QuietGuy (Aug 31, 2021)

Well, now that you have provided some relevant details and context, you will probably get some helpful opinions and advice. Hope you feel better after ranting at people trying to help you with so little to go on.


----------



## Trident (May 23, 2018)

Why not tell the parents they have to help with some of the bills and her dad has to smoke outside or they need to move out?

And get wifey back to work. Maybe she'll shed some of those extra 100 lbs while she's being productive.

No wonder you're miserable. 

The only action you need to take is to find your balls and stop letting these people crap all over you. Figuratively speaking I hope.


----------



## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

Typically. the court goes back


y5mgisi said:


> Just assumed eh? I don't give a flying fk about any of the money. At all. I don't care how much she would get or I would get. Anything. I just desperately want to quit my job. The job I have worked at for over 14 years. While my wife worked for about a year, part time. I'm so irresponsible? I'm 18 years old? Yeah that's why this fked up relationship has lasted 14 years while she hasn't worked, put on 100lbs since we got together, her parents lived with us for I think 11 years now (oh and btw, he gets $1100 a month in disability. I don't see any of it. They pay their part of the phone bill (they're on my plan) and their part of the car insurance (they're on my plan for that too...), and then he mostly smokes the rest in cigarettes. Usually 2-3 packs a day. Which is also great cause no one else in the house smokes...
> 
> My passion is cars and trucks. I like to play with them and do stuff in my garage. It's great because he has to come through the garage to get outside to go smoke... It seems clear to me that I would make as much or more money by opening an auto shop than with my current job. But that's too scary for my wife, for me to put our income on the line by chasing that dream. Again, I don't know why I'm still typing. And I don't know why you're still reading. It's pretty much all for not. I'm just going to continue hating myself and not taking action anyway.


Basically it all depends on your ability to afford alimony and child support based on your current income. How far back a state will go to determine your payment will vary with the jurisdiction you're in.


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

So you’ve:
1) allowed her parents to move in
2) allowed her to sit in her ass at home while you work.
3) allowed the parents to get on your insurance and phone plan.
4) allowed them to stay without paying rent.

Do you see the common denominator in shy your life is so miserable?
Do you let your boss run over you at work like this? You’ve got a problem with not standing up for yourself. Nobody can really fix that for you. You have to fix it yourself.


----------

