# My Wife left and I still love her dearly.



## chowkalei (May 7, 2012)

Hello, I am 29 and my wife of four years asked me to leave about a month ago and I just completed that move yesterday. I am still madly in love with her and I feel like I cant breath without her. We had a very strong relationship the first 3 years but this last year I had a lot of stress and was not emotional attentive to her. I yelled a lot of times when I should have not. I called her very hurtful things when she asked me to leave and I should not have. We have 1 beautiful child together with 1 each from a previous marriage. I recently decided to go back to graduate school and that caused added stress, I love this women with every ounce of my heart but she does not want to give me another chance. She is saying to go out and find another women. She is saying she is over me and that it is never going happen. I do not want another women all I want is her. I cant eat or sleep. Is their anyway I can get my family back? I don't know what to do??


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Distance your self from your wife and give her a divorce, she needs to see the consequences for her choices. Until her boyfriend is out of the picture you are a losing battle...if there is a boyfriend?

The more you push your self on her the less attracted you look towards her. Start looking out for your self and take the action to make your self worth giving your wife a second though about what shes about to lose.

So action not words will work.
Stay away and start working out, get some new close and hair cut, make an appointmen for some IC. These tactic will show a change in your self for your self and not for her.

My thinking here is once you start to let her go and focus on you and your kid, she will think twice in whats she's about to lose.

For now you aren't going any were so she will aways have her fall back guy (you), so why should she change? Man up let her go and pray she starts to chase you instead of you chasing her.

Thats my $0.02 so what do you have to lose by pushing her away when she is already gone and you just can't let go?

Let her go and you might see a change in her additude.


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## chowkalei (May 7, 2012)

Honestly I am not sure she is with another guy. It is hard to read her. She still likes to talk casually with me. She seems to do the its never gonna happen thing at work ( Must be the co workers) I have children with her so it is hard to not see her all the time. I am working out hard mostly 2 a days. Working out is a great outlet. I cant ignore her without hurting the children. I can start by just acting like its not bothering me.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

If she is telling you to find other girls, leads me to believe she found a man herself.

Why did you leave the house? Are you sure she isn't bringing in another man?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Look up the 180

And keep this in mind.

The oppisite of love is indifference and this indifference is what you can show her as a consequence for her choice to not work on the marriage, instead of you begging for the marriage.

You can act like it bothers you that she is leaving the marriage but more impotantly is acting like you are confident in moving on with out her and will not give the children an examble of a unhealthy marriage..

You need to find this confidence that will help you let her go. 

You can't control her or who she loves but you can control how you behave and what you will tolorate by acting like you can and will move on and find a relationship that you diserve.

Sure you have issues and take action to address them for you and not for her, so go see an individual counselor (IC).... another action she may see that will get her to think twice about bailing.


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## chowkalei (May 7, 2012)

the guy said:


> Look up the 180
> 
> And keep this in mind.
> 
> ...


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chowkalei (May 7, 2012)

There is this 62 yr old doctor that she has confided in. He is doing the old I can provide you anything routine. I feel like if she wants him then I do t know what to think. This guy is a sleeve offering to pay for her pa school education. If she thinks that's better for her than there is nothing I can do but move on.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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