# the little things count...



## Janey (Nov 10, 2012)

well its two years now of nearlly compleate sexlessness and i have just about given up all hope of it, i still try and make the little things count and show him i love him and think hes gorgeous regardless of it so i kiss him throught he day and give him a hug but im hopeless when he gets changed and just cant help staring and rubbing his shoulders....apperently today whilst i was talking about TLC he told me he finds these things crowding.....this really hurt me, its the only physical contact we have and even this small thing is unwanted :-( 
i told him that i do these things because otherwise there would be no contact between us and he told me he loved me and kissed me and rubbed my back for a second and went back to watch TV.......
Fine then i though, as hard and hurtfull to me as it is i will pull away, this scares me to death and i dont want us to drift any more physically apart but i dont want to crowd him, maybe he'l appreciate me more when i dont go near him so often, i cant help but feel offended, am i so bad that even a peck on the lips is crowding, bollox to it i guess, nothing more can be done about it :-(


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

That's tough... when my wife and I were living together she told me to not even touch her unless I wanted sex. We're seperated now, but she's working me with through this. Still, we had to seperate, I wasn't going to be forbidden to show my affection to her just because she reckons it "leads her on". This is a tough situation and I wish I had the answers myself. Just know I do hope things turn out, it's pretty messed up.

Things had to become serious before we both started to take our situation seriously. Perhaps it's what your husband and yourself needs as well?


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## lilith23 (Sep 6, 2012)

Has he always been like this, or changed after some time you are together? Have you talked to him about this, tell him how you feel? Did he show concern or simply continued to block your affections and not give affection?

Both needs to put efforts on a relationship for it to work. Tell him how you feel, give him some time while letting him know that you are there for him. But if even after some time he's not showing concern about it at all, then it's better to move on. Whatever the reason he might have, and whether it is reasonable or not, if he cares for you then he would at least put some effort to make things better as well.


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