# spouse and p0rn



## nam3 (Oct 18, 2014)

What is your view on your spouse viewing porn? Does it bother you? It doesn't bother me if my husband watches it. But out of curiosity, I like to see what he watches. He has an app, and every now and then I go to view what videos are on there. Well, today I tried and it has a pass code on now. Perhaps, he noticed I discovered his not so hidden app when I deleted one video I didn't like, lol? Do I tell him why he put a pass code? I feel like asking, but I don't know if I should.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

As a spouse, if you are unhappy with your spouse watching porn, you should let him know that.

What you shouldn't do, is say you are ok with it, then go on his phone and delete videos that he likes. You are either ok with it or you are not. Sounds like you are trying to give him a SH!T test. I don't blame him for putting a code on his phone.

Your best bet is to go to him. "Honey, I told you I was OK with you watching porn. After further reflection, I am not OK with it. I would prefer you curb your porn watching."

Personally, porn is fine as long as it doesn't become a substitute for intimacy in the marriage.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nam3 (Oct 18, 2014)

I don't mind him watching. I just get curious to see WHAT he's watching. Do I make sense? And me deleting a video from the list of downloads bc I didn't like it, what does that say? The app is not on his phone, it's a laptop we both use, and it's on the desktop. 
I watch, but I don't keep record of it (lol), so the way I see it in my eyes is, he leaves it out to be seen, until now


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening nam3
if you just want to know what he is watching out of prurient interest or to learn his kinks, then its better to tell him. 

Still, spying for those reasons doesn't bother me the same way that spying to "catch" someone does.

You could offer to watch with him.



nam3 said:


> What is your view on your spouse viewing porn? Does it bother you? It doesn't bother me if my husband watches it. But out of curiosity, I like to see what he watches. He has an app, and every now and then I go to view what videos are on there. Well, today I tried and it has a pass code on now. Perhaps, he noticed I discovered his not so hidden app when I deleted one video I didn't like, lol? Do I tell him why he put a pass code? I feel like asking, but I don't know if I should.


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## nam3 (Oct 18, 2014)

Tell me what you mean by catch? 
Like I am trying to find something? I think I do it to see what he likes.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

But you deleted one of his videos.

Doesnt seem like you are being completely honest here.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

nam3 said:


> And me deleting a video from the list of downloads bc I didn't like it, what does that say?


It says you have little respect for your husband.

Why delete it?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

And no need to send me a PM. Respond on here, so you get different perspectives.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nam3 (Oct 18, 2014)

Ok, thank you all, sorry I'm new here. I will work on it


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## nam3 (Oct 18, 2014)

Good advice. I won't bring it up.


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## WallaceBea (Apr 7, 2014)

It doesn't bother me at all that my husband watches porn. I think it is very health and important for him to have some "sexy time" with himself.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

nam3, 

You can't pick and choose what kind of porn your H watches. Just because you don't like a video - doesn't me that he will all of a sudden dislike that video too. 

If you have an issue with what was happening in the video, you could discuss it with him - though porn is usually fantasy and many men keep it as such. 

You can't say you're ok with porn and then turn around and start editing his videos without his permission. If you would like a video gone, you should talk to him. Now, he is going to start hiding things from you because you were snooping up on him. Just be open about it.


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## tibymia (Oct 12, 2014)

I was so apprehensive about my man watching porno.. But his frankness and honesty behind it made me feel comfortable with it. I would rather him watch porno than do the deed with strangers.. I also think it's a guy thing. Its different to have actual sex and to watch porno and do it yourself.. I think some men find it entertaining.. I think the convo you should have is all you want is honesty.


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## devotion (Oct 8, 2012)

If porn is acceptable in your relationship (it's acceptable in plenty) then there's nothing wrong with it. 

I believe that you deleting a video once you deemed porn acceptable is very poor taste. Guys sometimes want to watch porn with their SOs but often it is a solitary exercise, if he's open about watching it then let him watch in peace.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Deleting other people's stuff would be unacceptable to me in general, so I'd either protect it or hide it, if my partner was pulling stunts like that. What gives you the right to muck with his stuff, if what he's doing is "acceptable" to you?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

We watch it together once in a while, he's always saved every release for me.. feeling (his own words) it would be like "cheating" to get off on porn .. I learned this 5 yrs ago.. I couldn't even believe it & told him he had to be lying.. come on!...he swore up & down he wasn't.. I found this incredibly sweet...but then I had to look him in the eyes & tell him I was a cheater then.. cause I have [email protected]#... that was a CRAZY conversation!..he made me look bad.. darn him!...

My H likes to collect Playboy pin ups from all over the world..saves them on a Terabyte drive..just a hobby he has... what he thinks he's going to do with them, I have no idea.. it doesn't bother me at all, I like him being a "dirty old man".. shows his Testosterone is pumping good...as I was worried about this for a time, even sent him to get tested..... his saving all his energy for me ... I just can't complain. 

Now if he didn't do that, I'd be mad as a hornet..if I was left wanting / desiring him while he was getting off to his computer screen..that would not be working!!

Back in the day, I felt looking at porn was wrong, immoral... but I have changed my views on this as I got older.. if a couple is honest, upfront, they have passion in the bedroom, each is happy.. if they watch it together... it's all good.


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## oldnotbald (Oct 16, 2014)

In spite of wonderful relationships of genuine conjugal love, there will be most probably a gap between your erotic expectations and reality, because sex is basically a physical concept though both the switch and the current pass from brain!. I think the presence of relevant porn, (soulful, erotic one with spices of love and lust) may fill in here as a desirable supplement. If it is not performing this kind of supplemental role and instigates you to weaken the relationship, directly or indirectly oh!....avoid it... It is dangerous!

And pertaining to the particular question raised: 

There must be transparency between you, if you don't like to watch it together! Try to bring out that openness, before it becomes a thorn in your relationship.


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