# My wife said she isnt in love with me anymore and wants a divorce



## joebrown98 (Nov 26, 2009)

My wife just told this to me on Monday. The difference is, I know why she told this to me. We have been together for 8 years and married for 5. We both have a son from a previous relationship, and I am the only father her son has ever known. She has even gone as far as to tell me "its over". I dont think its over, nor will I accept it. I have done some major thinking, reading, and even made an appointment at a marriage counselor who specialized in a certain therapy for these situations. Once I did this, althought she didnt say one way or another that we will work it out, she did agreed to read this same book I did, and go to the therapy for our marraige. Her parents also want us to work this out, and I am being very proactive where I wasnt earlier when we noticed the issues. She asked me to go to therapy almost a year ago and I disagreed. I finally agreed a few months ago as long as she set it up. She never did, but I should have. Neither one of us have another person in our lives, but I wonder how I can still have such a strong and sudden desire to make this work and she is now taking the position I did months ago? 

But, she has taken it one step further by saying "we need a divorce". Since Monday, she has gone from saying, "Its too late for help, to I will go with you to a therapist and read this book". Is this reason for optimism? I hope so, and if so, how to I gauge when to begin asking her out on a date, or bending in to show my affection. Or...should I do it and the more responsive she becomes (if) continue to do it? I am so broken hearted right now. We used to be so heads and tails in love with each other! I still am with her! Can we get that back if I change what I recognize I have done wrong and correct this. I also know it wont change immediately, but is there hope?


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## Bel (Nov 6, 2009)

I don't have any advice. 

My now Ex told me he didn't love me 3 weeks ago. 

We went to one counselling session and he read a book that I had read. It didn't really change anything for our situation. 
I trully hope that you can work through this  
I've come to realise that some priorities I had weren't exactly wrong.. but I should have spent more time having fun with him rather than trying to be the perfect housewife.. Cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing etc can wait if your loved one wants you to sit with him and relax.


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## danl (Nov 14, 2009)

Joebrown, sorry about your situation, mine is just like yours, mine is titles, ;major marriage problem, desperate for help, read it, its messed up how this is such a common problem with women falling out of love with us, I dont get it.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

JB,
Why did she want to go to therapy a year ago? Why did you refuse? What has changed in your mind?





joebrown98 said:


> My wife just told this to me on Monday. The difference is, I know why she told this to me. We have been together for 8 years and married for 5. We both have a son from a previous relationship, and I am the only father her son has ever known. She has even gone as far as to tell me "its over". I dont think its over, nor will I accept it. I have done some major thinking, reading, and even made an appointment at a marriage counselor who specialized in a certain therapy for these situations. Once I did this, althought she didnt say one way or another that we will work it out, she did agreed to read this same book I did, and go to the therapy for our marraige. Her parents also want us to work this out, and I am being very proactive where I wasnt earlier when we noticed the issues. She asked me to go to therapy almost a year ago and I disagreed. I finally agreed a few months ago as long as she set it up. She never did, but I should have. Neither one of us have another person in our lives, but I wonder how I can still have such a strong and sudden desire to make this work and she is now taking the position I did months ago?
> 
> But, she has taken it one step further by saying "we need a divorce". Since Monday, she has gone from saying, "Its too late for help, to I will go with you to a therapist and read this book". Is this reason for optimism? I hope so, and if so, how to I gauge when to begin asking her out on a date, or bending in to show my affection. Or...should I do it and the more responsive she becomes (if) continue to do it? I am so broken hearted right now. We used to be so heads and tails in love with each other! I still am with her! Can we get that back if I change what I recognize I have done wrong and correct this. I also know it wont change immediately, but is there hope?


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## joebrown98 (Nov 26, 2009)

We began to have issues a year ago. I didnt recognize the issues as major then. Now, it has become a major problem that I recognize and I have set the therapy up for us. She has agreed to go, but will not say whether she is committed to making this work. Do you think it is still to early for her, since on Monday she was wanting out completely? Since then, she has become a bit more open to this help, but will not talk about any of this too me. She said she will go to counseling, and tells me she loves me when she calls, but I dont know what to think.


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## joebrown98 (Nov 26, 2009)

Hi all-

Just an update. I spoke with my wife today, and after setting up counseling and doing some thinking, she has decided to try and make this marriage work. I understand her feelings and will do everything it takes to begin a healing process. She fell in love with me once before, and with any luck I can show her that I am still the man she fell in love with. 

Many times people blame themselves for what transpired and although I have done this, I realize it isnt all me that caused these issues. But, I am responsible for the majority of the problems. My insensitivity towards her has pushed her away from me, and for that my heart is truly broken. Wit God at our side, and my newfound understanding of what I once was and what changed, I am arming myself with the tools to hopefully begin a new life with my wife and continue improve on my miscomings by reverting back to the man she loves.

Thank you


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## danl (Nov 14, 2009)

good luck joe, we all seem to need it.


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