# How did you do it?



## strat_guy (Sep 16, 2011)

Hi,

I have reached a decision that we need to end our marriage. This has not been decided hastily and I have looked at this for a long time. I've also known for a long time that I could not stay in this marriage but with kids, a life, work, church and fear involved, taking the decision to action is another story altogether.

At this point I am at the place where I need to figure out the best way of letting her know my decision and I am looking for some help or advice based on others' experience... anything will help.. what time of day did you do it, how did you bring up the conversation, what did you do with the kids how did you then bring the news to the kids... how many details of what was not working did you give without crushing the person to smithereens...

Thanks!!


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

There's not a way that is right or wrong. Just find a time when you two are alone and tell her. Expect it to be hard on both of you, but ending a marriage always is.


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## Um Excuse Me (Feb 3, 2018)

How long have you been married, and how old are your kids? Also, what's driving your decision to split?


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

I once made the same decision. I didn't come to it easily, either. I am so thankful that I went to see an attorney before I said it.

I completely changed my mind about it. The marriage didn't improve, nothing changed. But my fate in the divorce would have been worse, not better.


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## strat_guy (Sep 16, 2011)

you can take a read through the following post to get some context... sorry for not posting more details on the onset..

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/considering-divorce-separation/412730-need-help-deciding.html


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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

Since you have a family I would see a counselor you are comfortable with and discuss it there, then invite you wife to be part of the process of you leaving... I think you both will need some trained guidance as you begin this path.


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