# separated recently



## Ryan2711 (Apr 22, 2013)

hi i am recently separated the reason my wife moved out is because of my x playing mind games got to her so much she struggled to be around my two boys i have with my x she didnt want to treat them bad but she started going out when i had them so she didnt let it get to her. she didnt know what to do and i suggested her moving out just to keep her sane not coz i wanted her to. we still have a great relationship still there for her and support her talk to her etc. asked her out on a date for my birthday yesterday had a great time and she stayed here the night back at a mates tonight again. we also have a almost 1 year old. we sharing him great which is good.so im planning on getting help to deal with my x so finding a counsellor or something. im strong and have learnt what not to do in my first marriage/separation. just want to know what you guys think


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

I think more information about this situation will help us to help you.


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## Ryan2711 (Apr 22, 2013)

sure what do you want to know? i mean i could probably write pages but more info on what part?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

What has brought you to the present situation, what resolution you would like to achieve, etc.


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## Ryan2711 (Apr 22, 2013)

my x wife bacisally bullies me i dont let it get to me but i feel like me being stron and brushing it off my shoulders it has ended up on my wifes and she cant do anything bout it. i have to fix it. i want her back i love her but we both feel lost and confused hope that helps


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Stop communicating with your ex wife, unless it involves the children. Tell her to contact you only by text or email. Then enforce that. Don't answer her calls or respond to any communication unless it's about the children.

If you don't have court orders for custody, go back to court and get them. Then you can breach her when she withholds, she sounds high conflict so she probably will at some point.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Ryan2711 said:


> my x wife bacisally bullies me i dont let it get to me but i feel like me being stron and brushing it off my shoulders it has ended up on my wifes and she cant do anything bout it. i have to fix it. i want her back i love her but we both feel lost and confused hope that helps


How does she bully you?


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## Ryan2711 (Apr 22, 2013)

here is the latest one but have 6 years of it. i made some cool stickers for kids lunch boxes with their names and pictures. she ripped them off so put the kids in awkward place where i was like what happen to them. i just brush it off and carry on. then she starts writing dey bower on the kids lunch boxes bower being the name they have always had but dey is her new name never talked bout changing name etc. then oce again have to talk to kids. she tries to hurt me but is hurting everyone! had to explain to the oldest one that she knows it will hurt me and knows it would put him in an awkward situation


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## Ryan2711 (Apr 22, 2013)

idont talk to her on the phone much these days just the kids but she not that bad on phone. i think its more her husband who sends the nasty txt. they broke up for aweek coz he cheated on her with a few woman and we got alone great kinda like i remember her even had the kids more than the court order. then he came back and bad to the bull****. he also ended up in a mental hospital for the time they split and she said she was scared of him and if she rang i needed to come


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## Ryan2711 (Apr 22, 2013)

once in a lawyer meeting we had before court she said the doctor said the youngest boy i have with her had autism. i when to the doctor he said he never said that she was worried and he referred him he made it clear he never put that label on. this is why i think counselling could be good she probably wont come but i have to try


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Sounds like pretty petty stuff - not enough for your wife to leave over. Are you sure there's not more to this?


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## Ryan2711 (Apr 22, 2013)

yeah 5 years of petty **** tho gets to you lol. well i have tried to figure out if there is other reason. we did talk bout how we dont really have a lot of alone time like the date was the first night i havent had the wee one in my care. she said she has fun when she goes out but would be better if i was there. last night she txt and said she was worried i was going to fall in love with someone else. i said im not going to. she said but your amazing and someone will pick you. i said doesnt mean i keen lol. i told her theres only one girl i want got a blushing emogi back.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Did your ex marry the baby as she cheated with? 

Whoever it is block his number. Do not accept emails,
texts or phone calls from him. If you have to get a court order.

Playing nice and trying to get along with them is ruining your marriage.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

frusdil said:


> Sounds like pretty petty stuff - not enough for your wife to leave over. Are you sure there's not more to this?


What jumped out to me is that the OP suggested she leave, which I still don't comprehend. I have to imagine some hurt feelings, at an absolute minimum, on her part.

Ryan, are you going to ask your wife to come back home? If so, when?


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