# Guys, do your friends only contact when they want something?



## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

I guess I put this in the guys section as I realize women tend to just gab, or at least all the ones I know. In any case, guys are probably different. However, I have realized absolutely no one calls me unless they want something. These days it is usually help or information. Input on a subject, or my opinion. I think in my internal assessment of life, I have realized I really need to answer my phone with, "how can I help you"..... It's been years since anyone has called for any other reason.

I guess even with my best friend, I talk to him once every couple months, but only when he has a question about something. I gave up on women friends. They either want help as well, or have some ulterior motive. 

Seriously just trying to understand if this is odd, or considered the norm?

EDIT: ah, I should further ask if you are single or not.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

bobsmith said:


> I guess I put this in the guys section as I realize women tend to just gab, or at least all the ones I know. In any case, guys are probably different. However, I have realized absolutely no one calls me unless they want something. These days it is usually help or information. Input on a subject, or my opinion. I think in my internal assessment of life, I have realized I really need to answer my phone with, "how can I help you"..... It's been years since anyone has called for any other reason.
> 
> I guess even with my best friend, I talk to him once every couple months, but only when he has a question about something. I gave up on women friends. They either want help as well, or have some ulterior motive.
> 
> Seriously just trying to understand if this is odd, or considered the norm?


That's not my normal. I talk to several friends every single day, and if I don't they start wondering if I'm dead. They are all engaged/married, married with kids, or divorced with kids. If anyone needs something there is never a shortage of help, but it's usually just sports, memes, news, politics, work, drama, etc. Heck, I was just on the phone for almost an hour just talking to a friend who called me just to catch up. I checked my call records and that was the fourth friend to call in the past month just to catch up.

If I had friends who only contacted me when they needed something from me, I wouldn't really consider them friends.


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

Yes


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

The bastards call if you own a truck …..


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Mr.Married said:


> The bastards call if you own a truck …..


This is very true... All summer I will have calls from lake neighbors, and probably a friend or two, asking for help.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

bobsmith said:


> I guess I put this in the guys section as I realize women tend to just gab, or at least all the ones I know. In any case, guys are probably different. However, I have realized absolutely no one calls me unless they want something. These days it is usually help or information. Input on a subject, or my opinion. I think in my internal assessment of life, I have realized I really need to answer my phone with, "how can I help you"..... It's been years since anyone has called for any other reason.
> 
> I guess even with my best friend, I talk to him once every couple months, but only when he has a question about something. I gave up on women friends. They either want help as well, or have some ulterior motive.
> 
> Seriously just trying to understand if this is odd, or considered the norm?


My old friends from high school college really only call me when they need something. My more recent friends from around town call when they want to get together and do something more often than calling because they need something. 

Part of it might be because of life stuff. If your friends have kids at home life is too busy for friends often.


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## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

happyhusband0005 said:


> My old friends from high school college really only call me when they need something. My more recent friends from around town call when they want to get together and do something more often than calling because they need something.
> 
> Part of it might be because of life stuff. If your friends have kids at home life is too busy for friends often.


Good point. I don't have any single friends. Actually I am down to about 2 friends total, so...... But this is mostly because I stopped the giving. People want me to solve all their mechanical/electrical/engineering problems. I was just tired of it and told them I was "busy"....

I mean, I get it. I am now the odd man out. Couples parties. But I find it irritating that I am vapor......until someone needs information.


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## Pookiepie (10 mo ago)

That is a ****ty situation to be in. But good on you for stopping the ******** and saying you are busy. I really only have one friend currently, but I am married and have 2 younger kids, so it’s hard. Lol. Plus I’m not interested in drama so I try to keep my circle small. I hear you it’s annoying to be used by “friends”.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

i guess it depends on what part of the country you live in (cultures change locally) and what type of friends you cultivate.

we tend to cultivate friends that like to party. so when we get together it is for a backyard BBQ, pizza, see a rock concert, eat at some new restaurant. So the only thing they want from me is to have a good time and catch up on what happened recently.

A lot of our friends are women too, but mostly married ones.


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## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

My husband is very social and he's the one texting or calling friends to check on them. He's always texting someone. His friends want to hang out with him a lot! Heck, even my friends text him to hang out with us because he knows places to go to! 

I realize, he puts effort in staying in touch with people. He thrives in social environments. 

I'm more introvert, and I'll text a few friends to check on them and talk for a little bit, but I won't ask for favors. I hate feeling like I owe people something. I'm terrible at asking people for help.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Friends? 🤔


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