# How often does a husband change his mind after filing for divorce?



## bluecupcake24

Ok. I'm sure a lot of you here are familiar with my situation. i've posted before. first off, please don't post mean, or rude opinions. i am going through a very hard time. any way. My husband is gone. He left the house a little over a month ago. He says he doesn't love me any more and he has went and got the divorce papers already. he wants to push this divorce through as fast as possible. I think he's making a very impulsive decision, but he insists he doesn't want to work on our marriage, he says he's 100 % sure he doesn't want to be with me any more. but in the same breath, i told him that "if you let this divorce go through, don't try to weasel your way back into my life a year down the road, when i'm finally happy and moving on." and he responded with. "Well, can't say i wouldn't try." what does this mean. is he toying with me or something. any way, as some of you know he has been dating a new girl for a little over a week now. He thinks the grass is going to be so much greener on the other side, we will see about that i guess. I know every one tells me that he's an ass, and i just need to move on and let him go. and i know that logically. i just can't fully accept it in my heart. i keep hoping he would have a change of heart and realize the mistake he's making. and breaking up our family, with our two kids. the kids don't deserve that either. This whole situation is such a night mare. i would give any thing to have things go back to him coming home every night, and having our family together. my question is, is there any hope that before the divorce goes through he would maybe change his mind, even tho he is so set on this divorce? some of my family says that the divorce will most likely go through, but they have a feeling in the next year or two, he will come crawling back. i don't know. not knowing what the future is going to bring makes me very nervous. and i know i just need to be strong and move on and forget about him. i get it. its just so much easier said than done. what do you think. Is there any hope of things changing?


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## that_girl

Let him go. Honestly. Would you want him back right now anyway?

Let him get his divorce. Let him "move on". Let him know life without you.

It's not as easy as he thinks it is. You just need to sit and breathe and keep busy. Do for you now. He'll dig his own hole.


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## mablenc

I know it does not feel like it, but this is a blessing in disguise. 

"i keep hoping he would have a change of heart and realize the mistake he's making"

I keep hoping that you will value yourself more and realize the mistake you are making, you deserve better. Please look into IC.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Caribbean Man

Cupcakes,

You need to understand that at this point you are still in the stage of grieving a loss.
You will feel negative feelings because you have been through some trauma.
May I suggest that in the meantime you do some work on your self esteem. Talk to a friend that you can trust.
Occupy yourself with new interests to fill the void.

Tomorrow you're going to get over him and it's going to be a brighter day.


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## MyHappyPlace

Does it happen? Sure. Should you hold your breath waiting for it to happen? Absolutely NOT! During my first divorce, I begged my XH to toss the papers even though I was the one who filed first! In my head I knew the divorce needed to happen, my heart just hadn't caught up yet. Sounds like the stage you are in. The divorce went through, I moved on and when I was happy and in a good place, he came crawling back. I more less laughed in his face and told him too bad! 
My current H and I hit a bad spot earlier this year and I moved out. He contacted an attorney and started divorce proceedings. Not even a full month later, I was back in my home, by his side and the papers never got filed. We got into a row a few nights ago and he was rampaging and threw it out that he was going to go pick up those papers and have them filed. I was so very hurt. The next day everything was calm and not another word was said about it... But it will always there, lurking and waiting for the next argument I'm afraid. 
Get yourself into some support groups, IC, hobbies. Keep yourself busy and distracted until your heart catches up to your head. You KNOW this is for the best! Let him go and more importantly, let yourself free! If he comes slinking back in a few months/years, you can evaluate then and see if you even want him back! I bet you won't!!


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## Anon Pink

Oh blue cupcakes, I so wish I could wrap my arms around you as I take aim at your worthless, faithless, shiftless, lying toxic, bastard of a stbxh.

Honey, please move on and let this man go. He is not worth it and somewhere out there....there is a man who will love you right, well, fully and often.


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## bluecupcake24

aww. thank you every one. I appreciate the support. every one is right. i need to try to let go of any hope i have left, and just accept it and try to move on. Obviously the guy is toxic for me, and not worth any of my tears.


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## treyvion

bluecupcake24 said:


> Ok. I'm sure a lot of you here are familiar with my situation. i've posted before. first off, please don't post mean, or rude opinions. i am going through a very hard time. any way. My husband is gone. He left the house a little over a month ago. He says he doesn't love me any more and he has went and got the divorce papers already. he wants to push this divorce through as fast as possible. I think he's making a very impulsive decision, but he insists he doesn't want to work on our marriage, he says he's 100 % sure he doesn't want to be with me any more. but in the same breath, i told him that "if you let this divorce go through, don't try to weasel your way back into my life a year down the road, when i'm finally happy and moving on." and he responded with. "Well, can't say i wouldn't try." what does this mean. is he toying with me or something. any way, as some of you know he has been dating a new girl for a little over a week now. He thinks the grass is going to be so much greener on the other side, we will see about that i guess. I know every one tells me that he's an ass, and i just need to move on and let him go. and i know that logically. i just can't fully accept it in my heart. i keep hoping he would have a change of heart and realize the mistake he's making. and breaking up our family, with our two kids. the kids don't deserve that either. This whole situation is such a night mare. i would give any thing to have things go back to him coming home every night, and having our family together. my question is, is there any hope that before the divorce goes through he would maybe change his mind, even tho he is so set on this divorce? some of my family says that the divorce will most likely go through, but they have a feeling in the next year or two, he will come crawling back. i don't know. not knowing what the future is going to bring makes me very nervous. and i know i just need to be strong and move on and forget about him. i get it. its just so much easier said than done. what do you think. Is there any hope of things changing?


It's only been a week! Wow how stupid.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Openminded

It means you are potentially his Plan B. Many cheaters think that way. They feel if they can't make things work outside the marriage they can always return to their spouse. Until the next time they decide to stray. Some yo-yo for many years. 

It's up to you to make your life what it needs to be. Be strong. We don't know what the future will bring so live in today. 

I recently ended a 45 year marriage. Did I expect to find myself here? Absolutely not. Would I go back to that other life now? Not a chance. I'm happy the way things are. You can be too.


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## treyvion

Openminded said:


> It means you are potentially his Plan B. Many cheaters think that way. They feel if they can't make things work outside the marriage they can always return to their spouse. Until the next time they decide to stray. Some yo-yo for many years.
> 
> It's up to you to make your life what it needs to be. Be strong. We don't know what the future will bring so live in today.
> 
> I recently ended a 45 year marriage. Did I expect to find myself here? Absolutely not. Would I go back to that other life now? Not a chance. I'm happy the way things are. You can be too.


Tell him does he know he's playing with your feelings and can he understand how devistating this is for you?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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