# making out --->sex?



## youngmother09 (Apr 21, 2010)

my question is to anyone, does making out have to lead to sex?
i like to kiss, i love to kiss my husband, he im not sure doesnt feel the same  i try to make out with him or kiss him and such but he doesnt get into it and will "peck" kiss me back and if i i stop he doesnt try to start or continue it or anything he sighs alot when we are kissing like its a chore or something like really? i thought the point of loving someone and being married is showing it, maybe by kissing or cuddleing or hugging or anything and ive said why arent you like realllly kissing me he replys, dont start something you cant finish, if we arent going to have sex then dont bother, that really hurt my feelings i ended up sleeping on the couch i dont wanna start more fights but i am really hurt and still hurting because its an on going thing and he doenst see im in pain or bothered.,,, i really need that affection just kissing whatever..i dont think it always has to lead to sex... ugh im so frustrated about this im not sure what to do or what i can even do,. ive tried talking to him about it for over 2 years now and he just does not care i dont think because nothing is ever done about it..or anything!! ugh!! im not sure what to do now...


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

No, making out does not necessarily have to always lead to sex. From your post, it is obvious that you have a need for non-sexual physical affection with your husband that he is seemingly insensitive to. That is too bad - if he knew that by reciprocating and being sensitive to your need for physical affection, I bet you would be a lot more attracted to him and willing to spend less nights sleeping on the couch and more nights having sex with him!

Hit him over the head with the following books, and jauntily remind him that him being sensitive to what you need will make you more sensitive to what he needs. 

His Needs, Her Needs

Amazon.com: The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts (9780802473158): Gary Chapman: Books


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

No making out does not have to lead drectly to sex.

Married Man Sex Life: Kissing's Effect On The Brain

Married Man Sex Life: Sexy Moves: The Ten Second Kiss

Kissing is very much a lost art with most married folks. 
Check out the above. I think this is absolutely essential stuff for folks trying to reconnect in thier marriage.


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## BigToe (Jun 2, 2011)

There are only two reasons for kissing. The first is a symbol of affection like kissing your wife, husband, mother or father hello/goodbye. The second is when you mean "business", as in foreplay preparing for sex.

You sound like you want to "make out" like a high-schooler in the back seat of a car. If you did that when you were young and it didn't lead to sex it is ONLY because you didn't let it lead to sex. Trust me, every guy you kissed passionately was waiting for a touchdown play. For guys, passionate kissing means you want more. If you are married, there's no reason for it NOT to go to more.

I'm with your husband on this one. You can show you love some one by non-passionate kisses, hugging, and looking them in the eye saying "I LOVE YOU!". Passionate kissing is part of sex.


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## MyTwoGirls (May 31, 2011)

I have to agree with BigToe on the sexual aspect..although remembering how much kissing was going when someone first meets is very exciting it soon dies down and that is natural..are you talking about kissing for an hour? or 10 minutes? My wife also wanted to kiss all the time but I didn't for longer than 30 seconds but this was years into the marriage..I do not know of any guy friends who contantly kiss their wives for a long duration or maybe they just do not 'brag' about it...At the beginning of courting my wife we were non-stop kissers and ended as part time peckers.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

My comment about directly to sex is probably too vague. For me it is a prelude to sex. It just may not be right now. I do consider it foreplay. The sex may be later on the day or evening. So I can kiss my wife passionately let's say when we are at the Japanese Gardens and then later on have sex. I do this when we have the day to sepnd with one another and kinda make the whole day a seduction.

The idea of kissing like you did earlier in your marriage is to get out of the mode of kissing by pecking. You do that with your grandmother. You can very much kiss your wife passionately. You should not do this if you do not want to foster the dopamine response. If women do not get that dopamine they will want it from somewhere. True if they are getting from other ways then great. But if the wife is wanting to be kissed, then I as her husband am going to give her a proper kiss. YMMV. I agree most guys do not see the benefit in this. I only recently discovered this tactic as I was trying to start the fires going again. It has been working for me. Some call this gaming their wife.


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## youngmother09 (Apr 21, 2010)

thank you all for your opinions.. and just a little more detail i am young. so i kinda expect the "high school" kissing and stuff..i just turned 20.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

My question is.... How often DOES it lead to sex?

If you are having sex frequently and his sexual needs are being met, then he should be able to kiss without the attitude. I would guess that he is around the same age as you and his libido is pretty high.

but if you aren't having sex frequent enough to satisfy him, you have to understand that "making out" with him will just lead to frustration on his part.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

If a man is starving and you hand him a cupcake, it'll almost always end with "eating". If he is being well fed, he might often feel content with just admiring a cupcake.


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## youngmother09 (Apr 21, 2010)

we have sex daily.. so thats why im confused as to why he wont give me affection......


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## shaung (Mar 18, 2011)

My wife and I still make out like teenagers, but it almost always leads to sex. On rare occasions we will just make out with no sex.

We have been doing it this way for 26 years.

I only get it every day when we are on vacation, otherwise it is perhaps twice a week. Sounds like you have a lucky husband. :smthumbup:


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

OP 
Aren't you a little old to be playing the ****tease game?


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## discouraged1 (Mar 16, 2010)

youngmother09 said:


> my question is to anyone, does making out have to lead to sex?
> i like to kiss, i love to kiss my husband, he im not sure doesnt feel the same  i try to make out with him or kiss him and such but he doesnt get into it and will "peck" kiss me back and if i i stop he doesnt try to start or continue it or anything he sighs alot when we are kissing like its a chore or something like really? i thought the point of loving someone and being married is showing it, maybe by kissing or cuddleing or hugging or anything and ive said why arent you like realllly kissing me he replys, dont start something you cant finish, if we arent going to have sex then dont bother, that really hurt my feelings i ended up sleeping on the couch i dont wanna start more fights but i am really hurt and still hurting because its an on going thing and he doenst see im in pain or bothered.,,, i really need that affection just kissing whatever..i dont think it always has to lead to sex... ugh im so frustrated about this im not sure what to do or what i can even do,. ive tried talking to him about it for over 2 years now and he just does not care i dont think because nothing is ever done about it..or anything!! ugh!! im not sure what to do now...


I have been married 20 years and still have this problem.. It won't get better sweetie... some people are just not into it I guess. :scratchhead:


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

My wife and I will have a make out session sometimes two or three times a day. It does make us both horny and seldom leads directly to making love.
To get that horny feeling as I walk out the door to do do errands, yardwork, whatever, just keeps my mind on what is in store for later. The anticipation builds until we actually make love. I enjoy that anticipation.


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