# We have nothing in commom



## happy2bmommy

I love my husband of seven years. We have 2 children, and get along okay. But we no longer have anything in common. I am all about family and our children, trying to live a christian life and raise our kids the same way, but he is still living life as a teenager wanting to party all the time. He cant have a good time unless it involves drinking, and I can't have a good time if I am the only sober responsible person around. What do I do?


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## SaffronPower

Well that's a very open question. 

Is he doing anything irresponsible? Like drinking and driving? Are you afraid he's depressed or anxious and is self medicating with alcohol? 

Are you scared that if you don't have anything in common you can't maintain a marriage?

It's hard to respect a man if he is truely acting like a teenager and leaving all the adult responsibilities to you. That's making you his mommy. Not sexy


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## happy2bmommy

He does many things I view as irresponsible, but he does not. Like the other night a he had a couple friends over and they ended up playing drinking games in front of my six year old. She now knows how to play games I didn't even know existed! He does not drink and drive or has not yet put the kids in any physical danger, but I am more concerned over the example he is setting.

They are probably confused. Here I am taking them to church every Sunday and Wednesday trying to teach them the way of life I believe, then they come home and see their father living totally a opposite way.

Yes, I am scared we won't be able to make it much longer. We lead two different lifestyles with two different groups of friends. He does work hard and helps pay the bills, but I carry all the responsibilities. I do all the finances, shopping, cooking, cleaning, caring for the kids because he is usually out drinking with friends. I do believe he loves us, its just he dont want to grow up yet and takes us all for granted by thinking we will still be here when he is finally ready to be a man.


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## SaffronPower

Do you guys fight? Do you talk? Does he understand that you are worried over these issues? Does he know it could break up his family? 

If you're both willing some marriage counseling would be ideal.

Does he have an older male role figure, or even one of yours, that could talk, not preach, to him at all?


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## cb45

well happy2b,

sounds like a classic case description for unequally yoked marr'd coupling couples etc.

u both sound very young with little or no experience in dating and grownup responsibility/preparation etc.

u need to tell us (me) more b4 we can truly offer any good, on the $$$ type of advice.

shalom yedeed.........


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## Mrs.G

happy2bmommy said:


> He does many things I view as irresponsible, but he does not. Like the other night a he had a couple friends over and they ended up playing drinking games in front of my six year old. She now knows how to play games I didn't even know existed! He does not drink and drive or has not yet put the kids in any physical danger, but I am more concerned over the example he is setting.
> 
> They are probably confused. Here I am taking them to church every Sunday and Wednesday trying to teach them the way of life I believe, then they come home and see their father living totally a opposite way.
> 
> Yes, I am scared we won't be able to make it much longer. We lead two different lifestyles with two different groups of friends. He does work hard and helps pay the bills, but I carry all the responsibilities. I do all the finances, shopping, cooking, cleaning, caring for the kids because he is usually out drinking with friends. I do believe he loves us, its just he dont want to grow up yet and takes us all for granted by thinking we will still be here when he is finally ready to be a man.


Religion and the proper way to rear children, should be discussed before marriage.

It must be quite hellish to have such an irresponsible child, for a husband. You will need to have a serious discussion with your hubby about his behavior. Make sure that you approach him a a non threatening, loving manner, while still being firm about the drinking. It sounds like he could possibly be an alcoholic.

Did you become a Christian after you married, or was he aware of your beliefs before you tied the knot? He doesn't have to share your faith, but he does have to respect and support it.
I believe in God and I pray, although I refuse to call myself a Christian because of some of my life choices. My husband is an atheist. I wish he was not, but I accept that we all walk our own spiritual path.


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