# Teach me about divorced ladies and how they think.



## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Ladies, please enlighten me to how divorced ladies think, when it comes to men.


Does being divorced make ladies nasty and anti men?

Or not really?


I will sit back and read everyone's experiences either being divorced or know divorced ladies.


I want to try and understand why many divorced ladies are so nasty towards men, break rules, dress and act like recycled teenagers and only seem to listen to other divorced or single ladies.

This has nothing to do with TAM.

I just want to learn as much as I can to try and get along with them, thx.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

> I want to try and understand why many divorced ladies are so nasty towards men, break rules, dress and act like recycled teenagers and only seem to listen to other divorced or single ladies.


Maybe for the same reasons why many divorced men are so nasty toward women, break rules, dress and act like recycled teenagers and only seem to listen to other divorced or single men?


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

What on Earth are you hoping to learn here? 

I am a divorced woman, I LOVE men but only good men, strong, intelligent men. Not whiny, child like men or ones that don't take responsibility for themselves and where they are in life. This has not changed pre and post divorce.

And just so you know divorced ladies are not a subset of our gender, they do not all think alike just as all divorced men don't think alike, all kids don't think alike, it is absurd and very immature to suggest that divorced women think alike, idiotic in fact.

Are you just trying to cause trouble or are you genuinely dim witted?


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

So much for mature responses here.


If you have nothing positive to say, nit pick posts apart, why even respond?:scratchhead:


You just reinforced the stereotype....


I am a guy after all, not a lady and I honestly want to understand more, that's all.


I live in a complex were all the ladies are mainly divorced, and I want advice on how to get along better and try to see things from their perspective. I'm hear to learn, not attack, so let the advice commence.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Holland said:


> What on Earth are you hoping to learn here?
> 
> Are you just trying to cause trouble or are you genuinely dim witted?


Yikes. Pushed a button perchance? C-bug asked questions; questions with some mistaken assumptions, but c'mon. I don't think the OP'er was bashing all womankind.

I'm divorced, and I'll admit I had a jaundiced view of men in general after being married to two drunk jerks.

Then I realized I married two drunk jerks. I chose them. It was MY problem. I had serious issues that only I could address. It had nothing to do with the men I chose.

So, C-bug, if you are only meeting women like the one's you describe, it's time to be introspective. Figure out why you feel this way. I assure you, I now enjoy men's company. But I choose men far more wisely.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

First step would be to view them as individual human beings not a group that all think alike due to being divorced. 

If you want to learn who they are and how to get along with them then ask THEM, each will have a different life story. Asking a bunch or randoms is not going to help because none of us are them. That is of course if your true motive is to get along better with your neighbours because the way you have asked the question here comes across as pot stirring.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

CuddleBug said:


> I just want to learn as much as I can to try and get along with them, thx.


Can you be fair and respond to the same thing about men? 

Please tell us why many divorced men are so nasty towards women, break rules, dress and act like recycled teenagers and only seem to listen to other divorced or single men.
Since some men do exactly the same thing, it’s only fair that you give the answer about men.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

CuddleBug said:


> Ladies, please enlighten me to how divorced ladies think, when it comes to men.


You are assuming that all divorced women are alike. Nothing could be further from the truth. If you want to know for sure, ask the individual women who you think are like this.


CuddleBug said:


> Does being divorced make ladies nasty and anti men?
> Or not really?


No, being divorced does not make women nasty and anti-men. 

Divorced women are usually older and have learned a lot about life. What they have learned is that all men are not nice or good people. Divorced men learn the same things about women. So divorced women tend be more protective of what men they will date and be with. Divorced men tend to do the same thing. Both men and women have the right to protect themselves and to choose to associate with people who they feel meet their own criteria.




CuddleBug said:


> I will sit back and read everyone's experiences either being divorced or know divorced ladies.


Again, you are assuming that all divorced women are the same. Are all divorced men the same?



CuddleBug said:


> I want to try and understand why many divorced ladies are so nasty towards men.


Really? All divorced women are nasty towards men? 

From my experience, divorced women are not nasty towards men. Now they might not be friendly to men who are not interested in. Buy why should they be overly friendly with men that are not interested in?

Divorced men do that same thing. They are not overly friendly with women they are not attracted to. Men here always say that if a man is nice to a woman and is his friend, it’s only because he wants sex with her. So explain that.


CuddleBug said:


> I want to try and understand why many divorced ladies …. break rules,


You are going to have to elaborate here. I have no idea what you are talking about. What rules do you think divorce women break?


CuddleBug said:


> I want to try and understand why many divorced ladies ….dress and act like recycled teenagers …...


I know a lot of divorced women. None of them dress and act like recycled teenagers. Only a few women do this. They are probably mostly low class women. Why are you concentrating on low class women?


CuddleBug said:


> I want to try and understand why many divorced ladies …. only seem to listen to other divorced or single ladies.


Who do you think that divorce women should be listening to? You? Men who they don’t know?

Generally all people associate with others who are in similar circumstances. So it makes senses that women who are divorced and single would talk to other women who are divorced and single. 

Also married women do not want divorced women around because they fear that their husbands will cheat.

It’s the same with men. Men do not like divorced men around because thy fear that their wives will cheat with the divorced guy.


CuddleBug said:


> I just want to learn as much as I can to try and get along with them, thx.


Can you give 2 or 3 examples of things that have happened In which you feel that you were not getting along with divorced women? It’s hard to help if we do not know what the issue really is.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

CuddleBug said:


> Ladies, please enlighten me to how divorced ladies think, when it comes to men.
> 
> 
> Does being divorced make ladies nasty and anti men?
> ...


Hmm... probably has a lot to do w/ why they're divorced.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

CuddleBug said:


> Ladies, please enlighten me to how divorced ladies think, when it comes to men.
> 
> Does being divorced make ladies nasty and anti men?
> 
> ...


Once bitten twice shy. Forget the gender part of this CuddleBug because divorce jades a lot of men and women this way. Confirmation bias plays a part. One little thing that reminds a woman (or man) of the ex and bam they're history. Sorry dude, divorcees have baggage. I know I did.


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## DayOne (Sep 19, 2014)

I think you'll find, CuddleBug, that 'burn victims' are found in both genders. This is easily evidenced right here in TAM. There's a lot of pain, and angst expressed by people who have had their hearts ripped out, stomped on and have never recovered. Instead of dealing with their pain, they vent it out on those they consider to have caused the pain. Often those of the opposite sex. 


Though having said that, coming into the Ladies Lounge and asking if "being divorced make ladies nasty and anti men" may not have been a particularly tactful way of seeking an answer...


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> I know a lot of divorced women. None of them dress and act like recycled teenagers. Only a few women do this. They are probably mostly low class women. Why are you concentrating on low class women?


I have a feeling CB is finding bar flies. That would explain the recycled teenager issue. If this is where he met the first Mrs B then CB needs to adapt and change the script.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Divorced ladies that are bitter are bitter for the same reasons that divorced men are bitter and hate women, except to use them for the sex they richly deserve. Because they feel like they got a raw deal. 

Nobody likes genreralizations.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Westwind (May 20, 2013)

You will not be able to get along with all of them. What type are you interested in? The hard question is what kind should you be interested in?


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## Deep Down (Jun 21, 2014)

Mr CB, I've been reading your other post as well, so interested to see you asking this question here. 


I hope I won't offend by suggesting, that IMO you seem a bit naive with women, generally. 

I once worked with a young naive guy in a software company who used the receptionist's copies of Cosmo etc to try to understand women. It didn't work. He'd ask me the most inappropriate questions. Particularly in the workplace! Your question reminds me of what he'd ask. 

It's OK, I know you have been married since young and all. Here's the info - Women, divorced, single or whatever, are humans, just like men are. Just like you. 

We're not a different breed or anything. 

If you want to have pleasant neighbourly interactions with your neighbours, regardless of their marital status, you can just casually engage them in conversation, about weather, local affairs, whatever. Take an interest in them, and their opinion, and they'll probably be nice to you.

I'm married for the second time so was a divorced single mum for 10 years, so I'm not making this up, I know of what I speak.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Cuddlebug is married, amIright?? So what difference does it make to him?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

GusPolinski said:


> Hmm... probably has a lot to do w/ why they're divorced.


There are a lot of angry, divorced, bitter men on TAM who are not very nice to and about women. 

Do you think that this attitude is probably why they are divorced?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Westwind said:


> You will not be able to get along with all of them. What type are you interested in? The hard question is what kind should you be interested in?


He is married to a woman he calls "wifee".


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

CuddleBug said:


> I want to try and understand why many divorced ladies are so nasty towards men, break rules, dress and act like recycled teenagers and only *seem to listen to other divorced or single ladies*.


Is this about the way you say that you and hundreds of people at the factory where you work talk about intimate details of your sex lives? Are you trying to talk with them about intimate details of your and their sex lives with these women?

What do you want to talk to them about? What advice of yours do you want them to take?


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## ariel_angel77 (May 23, 2014)

Parting from my STBX has only taught me to raise my standards. A lot higher.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

CB, do you think it would be appropriate for your wife to ask how to talk or understand divorced men because she wants to socialize with them and/or get along with them?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> There are a lot of angry, divorced, bitter men on TAM who are not very nice to and about women.
> 
> Do you think that this attitude is probably why they are divorced?


I can't be sure, but, if I'm reading your reply correctly, you read something into my reply that really wasn't there. My point was to say that it's likely that _at least some_ of the "bitter, divorced women" out there are probably to some degree entitled to feel the way that they do about men. It's unfortunate, though, because (obviously) each of us isn't the same wet, stinky piece of sh*t that each of them divorced.

And you know... it *IS* possible to make reference to the fact that a single, specific woman -- or even multiple women -- has displayed or is displaying morally reprehensible qualities w/o saying the same of all women... right?


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## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

norajane said:


> Maybe for the same reasons why many divorced men are so nasty toward women, break rules, dress and act like recycled teenagers and only seem to listen to other divorced or single men?


Ha! good one!


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## Revamped (Jun 19, 2014)

Divorced women are not usually nasty and anti-men.

What we are is, too busy to put up with more of the same bullcrap hoisted upon us that we already had. We don't need some random dude looking at us like we're ready to fall madly in love again or eager to hop in the sack. We don't need your money, pity or house. We aren't your housemaid, private financier or one night stand.

What we want is a fair shake in life, just like everybody else. 

So, if you're looking to talk to a random divorced lady, do us a favor and just be NORMAL.

Is that too much to ask?


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Revamped said:


> Divorced women are not usually nasty and anti-men.
> 
> What we are is, too busy to put up with more of the same bullcrap hoisted upon us that we already had. We don't need some random dude looking at us like we're ready to fall madly in love again or eager to hop in the sack. We don't need your money, pity or house. We aren't your housemaid, private financier or one night stand.
> 
> ...


Perfect!! :smthumbup:


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

Well, CB does have a point. 

While with my W, I've been approached by several divorced women on several occasions at a family restaurant/bar who were aggressive and callous. When they shockingly discovered I was with my W they refused to believe she was my W and their behavior got even worse. One so much so that the manager escorted her off premise then came back and apologized to us. 

That's the only time I've seen folks like this. At that restaurant. 

I know several divorced men whom no one seems to like. Same kind of behavior. 

Perhaps that's why they're divorced or that's what they've become as Gus pointed out. 

We don't go that that restaurant anymore. Too many divorced /single women with bad attitudes - seem to gather there with their friends. They try to be nice, but are cruel.

That's certainly not every divorcee, but thought I'd bring up some who've match that description OP is speaking about. Just a minority.

So, OP - avoid that restaurant.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

CuddleBug said:


> Ladies, please enlighten me to how divorced ladies think, when it comes to men.
> 
> 
> Does being divorced make ladies nasty and anti men?
> ...


Clearly you have ran into TONS of worthless women. There is a GOOD reason why they are divorced. Evidence is right in front of you and you seem to be recognizing it well.

What's the problem?


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

CuddleBug said:


> I live in a complex were all the ladies are mainly divorced, and I want advice on how to get along better and try to see things from their perspective. I'm hear to learn, not attack, so let the advice commence.


CB... I wouldn't worry too much about the angry, bitter divorcees in your apartment complex. I'm guessing they are all just "acquaintances" rather than friends anyway, so no need to try and see things from their "perspective." I'm not sure Mrs. CB would appreciate your trying to "understand" these women. 

A nod and a simple "hello" when you meet at the mailbox or dumpster is about all the concern I would invest.


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## SignOfLife (Aug 13, 2014)

If it were me...being that way, I would probably have to blame it on my resentment of the situation I was going through.(??)maybe..

I think it is also a safety net, a block wall of protection from what they may have just gone through..

They want to appear strong, and independent...

Or maybe they just dont like (you), (the person they are being *****y too) ?? 

those are my thoughts...


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

As a divorcee now remarried, those of us who got out of the marriage with our self-esteem in tact, we are expecting to find a better life. That means we don't have a lot of patience for men who think that because we are middle that we are desperate.

How can you tell someone who has held onto their self-esteem? they don't make sweeping remarks about how all men are cads; or how they've been "used and abused."

they may mention an incident that was unpleasant, but it's retold in the vein that they identified a problem and they have now learned how to manage it.

I get the feeling that you approach divorcees as if you are doing them a favor. Obviously, that approach is not optimal.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

You can't be taught to think like a woman, divorced or otherwise. Not much good is going to come from you chatting up other women, anyway. You're married. Keep it casual, light, treat them like human beings. When they gripe about men, give a chuckle, an empathetic look, and then wander off to find something to fix or some other men to hang out with.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

I'm back and I've read everyone's responses. Thx to everyone for their experiences, inputs and Happy New Year.


The reason I posted this thread, is as follows:

- Mrs.CuddleBug and I own and live in a townhouse complex
- we've lived here for about 13 years
- we've seen many single/divorced ladies come and go
- renters and owners and current owners living here
- the only other married couple visits throughout the year in their townhouse, 2nd home for them
- they also say the things we have noticed over the 13 years
- some ladies been here 13+ years, same today as when we moved in.....

All these single/divorced ladies have been cold, ignore you, not kind, break strata and city by laws on purpose, never help anyone, never do anything for the complex and I would say are in it for themselves, what they can get out of it and they see nothing wrong with this. Over and over again, almost like a stereotype.

This has been both our experiences in this townhouse complex for the last 13 years or so.

I posted this thread, to try and understand more, learn more, and to get along better. That's it.

If there is nothing I can do, then so be it and I'll ignore them and treat them the way they have treated others and us.


Yes, I do talk about almost anything with the guys at the shops I've worked at. We have no issues doing this, we all learned from each other and became better because of it. It's cool to hear life stories of guys who've experienced so many interesting things in life. Otherwise, no talking, you never know and learn nothing. No one spread rumors around the shops either. It was between co workers and stayed there. Yes, its been hundreds of guys already for me but that's over a 14+ year period.


I'm the type of guy to help others, smile, be kind, fix things in the complex but Mrs.CuddleBug and I have experienced this so much over the 13+ years, we've pretty much stopped now. Not good I know.

And Mrs.CuddleBug and I have been married for about 15+ years.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

I'm trying to figure out a nice way to say this: Maybe it's you, not them

ETA: All kinds of people don't want to get involved with their neighbors, not just divorced women.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

GusPolinski said:


> I can't be sure, but, if I'm reading your reply correctly, you read something into my reply that really wasn't there. My point was to say that it's likely that _at least some_ of the "bitter, divorced women" out there are probably to some degree entitled to feel the way that they do about men. It's unfortunate, though, because (obviously) each of us isn't the same wet, stinky piece of sh*t that each of them divorced.


Don't know. I understood you to be saying that their being bitter is the cause of their divorce. Maybe I misunderstood you? :scratchhead:






GusPolinski said:


> And you know... it *IS* possible to make reference to the fact that a single, specific woman -- or even multiple women -- has displayed or is displaying morally reprehensible qualities w/o saying the same of all women... right?


Sure... and I was just making the same point about some divorced men. Seems fair to me.

How is what CB said about them morally reprehensible?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

CuddleBug said:


> The reason I posted this thread, is as follows:
> 
> - Mrs.CuddleBug and I own and live in a townhouse complex
> - we've lived here for about 13 years
> ...


Now you are not just talking about divorced women. Now you are talking about single women too.
I have lived in a lot of places and what I have found is that the more transient a neighborhood is, the more code and unkind the neighbors are. But even in neighborhoods are not transient, this is the norm. Everyone seems to be like that anymore. Few people give a rat’s behind about their neighbors.


CuddleBug said:


> break strata and city by laws on purpose


Can you explain/list the strata and city by laws that they break on purpose? I have no idea what you are talking about.



CuddleBug said:


> I posted this thread, to try and understand more, learn more, and to get along better. That's it.


In most places today, the most you can hope for is that your neighbors just cordial at best… most well just ignore others.


CuddleBug said:


> If there is nothing I can do, then so be it and I'll ignore them and treat them the way they have treated others and us.


That is all you can do.



CuddleBug said:


> I'm the type of guy to help others, smile, be kind, fix things in the complex but Mrs.CuddleBug and I have experienced this so much over the 13+ years, we've pretty much stopped now. Not good I know.


What kinds of things do you fix in the complex?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Somehow I am finding it difficult to do a post on this thread... all I am thinking is.. well if you looked something like this...







... I bet you'd get more of these women giving you a smile & being approachable... 

Kinda like the millionaire who dresses like a BUM then gets to see the other side of people's character... I think too often men , even women cater to Looks, riches.. but if you look like the average Joe Schmoe... it's like you don't exist..Unless YOU go out of your way to brighten their day.. or show some random acts of kindness none would be expecting...but not over doing it to come off creepy... just neighborly... this could win over a colder soul in due time.. 

I know one lady (friend's Mom).. after the divorce, all men were "no good"....she literally goes ON ABOUT IT.. of course she will say my H is the exception ...she'll say something like , "I don't know where he came from"... 

But I've caught her smiling and talking about the good looking ones..she's the type that will say "oh you know MEN...they're all the same"... she is like almost 70, been alone all her life...she would always say she didn't need a man -but she had her son & Grandson around to help her too..

Then another divorced single friend of mine, unless the guy is cute , she will completely ignore him , she wouldn't want bothered or to give anyone the wrong idea... Some women , the more introverted, just think friendly people are "creepy"... and true, you never know who may be a stalker...single woman do need to be extra careful these days...

Then some are lonely..and too friendly themselves and may talk the man's ear off !! There really are all types out there.. surely you can't see ALL of these women the same..but a few softer personalities emerging or something... 

And this could go for single, divorced or married .. it wouldn't matter.. 

Also if you strike up a conversation, have Mrs Cuddlebug by your side.. this could make a difference ...some will feel more relaxed / approachable with you both together...


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

From day one, these ladies who even are on strata council, were purposely ignoring strata and city by laws because they don't care in general and for rules. They have warned and fined and even made lives miserable for renters and owners they didn't like. But I've caught them all doing worse themselves and I call them on it and only then, do they stop. Mrs.CuddleBug and I know the strata and city by laws and have always followed them while the ladies have been the opposite and they are that bad to this day. They even talked to two owner single ladies before the AGM, put them on the council and at the AGM no one else is needed or wanted. What's supposed to happen, at the AGM council cycles off, never has happened with them, they allow any owners to join that live in the complex, that has never happened either.....They did an extra gravel underlay job for a friend of theirs and it killed the tree. No one was even told the job had happened......these ladies have no hands on work experiences, hire cheap contractors, no one is told anything and then bad jobs occur and they don't even know, unless its brought to their attention......I'm the only one with Mrs.CuddleBug that notices this stuff and calls them on it and then it stops.


A lot has changed for the better in our complex because I have been making sure this stuff isn't happening by them. You should of seen how bad it was when we first moved in!!! Mrs.CuddleBug and I were the only ones following strata and city by laws!!!


I have run over to their units because they don't even know how to check a water tank for an expiration date, and how to safely shut it off. They are clueless.


My impression is they don't care about anyone but themselves, what they can get away with and for themselves. If it doesn't effect them and their areas, they don't do anything.


Mrs.CuddleBug has been starting to call them all out emails, to all the owners and strata management company. Things are changing more for the better now. She's caught them lying to save face as well.


A young lady owner goes to her unit with her dad. Ladies here totally ignore her. Dad is gone and they suddenly talk and are all friendly. That's quite common here.


BFI bin lock is freezing shut due to the snow and cold weather. The ladies do nothing, its frozen and garbage is left on top of the BFI bin. Hardware store, oil, for outside, once a month, no more freezing, seconds to do........nope.


Lights in main carport are burned out except for one. Ladies do nothing about it.........more chance for theft and vandalism. Low ceilings and change light bulbs with a small chair, takes seconds to do.......nope.


Renters that were dating, engaged or married have left because of them. I've bumped into them recently and they tell me, are those ladies still there? We left because of them!!!


They tell everyone that visitors park in visitor stalls and not in front of the doors or other owners stalls. Then one of them (also divorced) has her winabago park in front of her door 9+ times this year and for 1 - 2 hours each time. Even in a visitor stall herself and her friend park in the middle of the complex and not the visitor stalls. That is not mentioned either and dealt with unless I say something.


Not all divorced men and women are like this, true. I must of moved into a complex with bad luck of the draw I guess.


And the ladies here were all like this from day one that Mrs.CuddleBug and I bought our unit 13+ years ago......never introduced themselves, no welcome package, nothing and that hasn't changed unless you are another woman, single or divorced. Just a fact. If you're a couple renting, cold shoulder to you. Married owners of a unit, cold shoulder. Single guy, cold shoulder.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Mrs.CuddleBug and I only have maybe 3.5 to 4 years left on our mortgage, so we might sell at that point to get away from them all. Or we might stay, rent it out and buy another unit nearby.

Another example. They tell me and the complex 3 rental max here. Or you sell, wait your turn or never rent. Then one of them rents out her unit discretely, illegally, 4th rental unit, no one is told, you just see this student coming and going. I called her on it, she admitted and we share a bedroom so its okay.....

We all know she isn't going to share her bedroom with a student she doesn't know and the student is in the other room.....Another owner finds the BC condo strata by law on rentals and what this lady council member did was illegal and considered a 4th rental unit.

She got away with it and one year later, another one of them had their student leave and now has a friend live with her. And she is divorced too and moved in two years before Mrs.CuddleBug and I did.

This type of thing is common here and stops when I call them on it. The other ladies here and on council all say and do nothing.......:scratchhead:

The only other unit that calls them all on this stuff is the married couple that visits throughout the year.


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

intheory said:


> Me and my H have lived in the same apartment complex for years. Let's just say, we don't talk to _anyone_ (regardless of marital status), unless we have to.


Same where I live too.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Sounds like a good plan. I will do the same.


Another example. Divorced lady rents out a unit here. She has two beautiful cats. No food or water outside, they are starving, ribs showing and running to everyone's front door and even up the stairs, angering owners in this complex. This is during the winter. I love cats and animals, always have, so I put out food and water in dishes by our front door. She came by at night, threw them in our bushes and keyed the length of my back bumper of my car. I put up camera housings, it all suddenly stopped and a few months later, she moved out with her new boyfriend. She did become good friends with me in the end, gave me free ice cream from were she worked, I took care of her teenage daughter and she offered me new kittens from her cats. Everyone knew it was her but didn't want to get involved and did nothing.


Previous owner beside us was also recently divorced and she loved to party, park all over the place, blocking people and didn't care. It got so bad, she would have her friends over to party during the work weeks anywhere from 10pm to 2am!!! Loud too!!! I tried to reason with her, that we are neighbors, I get up very early and she continued to party. I went to the council and then she stopped and sold a few months later, said she couldn't live her lifestyle.


Another previous divorced lady owner visited her unit as her second home here. She would have her friend and kid visit with her and with her dog. She would never park in her stall, her dog would go through peoples back yards and pee on their plants, no leash, kid had friends play soccer in the complex hitting walls, roofs, and even cars. I got a small dent, they ran to her, and she didn't come over to apoligize, they did for her. I had already thrown away the soccer ball at that point. More of her kids even pee'd behind the complex BFI bin and smoked joints......she even had an open fire in her back yard for parties which is illegal. All the ladies here and council did nothing.......she sold so to live her lifestyle.


Another divorced lady with a daughter was renting a unit here. She didn't follow strata by laws either. She was so bad, she would walk through your back yard, stop, hang out and have conversations with her friends, in your back yard, drink and bite to snack on. No respect. Pet never on a leash all over the place. That unit got bought out, she left and the current married couple own that unit and have never been a problem.


I'm going to stop now because I have many more stories of this......

Mrs.CuddleBug and I must of moved into a bad complex or something???:scratchhead:

Mrs.CuddleBug saw and experienced all this too and today, does something about it with me!!!


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

CuddleBug said:


> So much for mature responses here.
> 
> 
> If you have nothing positive to say, nit pick posts apart, why even respond?:scratchhead:
> ...


CB it's as simple as this

Live by the 4 Agreements

Take nothing personal (it's not about you)
Make no assumptions ( you will be wrong 99% of the time)
Use your words impeccably (don't spread gossip speak only the truth )
Always do your best (don't really think this requires further explanation)

If people are nasty it's none of your/our business.

55


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

just got it 55 said:


> CB it's as simple as this
> 
> Live by the 4 Agreements
> 
> ...



This is great advice. Thx.:smthumbup:


The council president (divorced) went to both new renters and told them lies about me. A short time later, I'm friends with the renters and they told me what she had said.......they told me, that isn't you and doesn't sound like you. At that point I told them the history of this place and them. Then the renters said, ah, we figured as much. I then confronted this council president, I don't shy down from anyone, that she had said those things about me. Email of course, and nothing stupid or threatening. She took off for the week and had security installed for her unit with the security sticker on her front door.


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

CuddleBug said:


> This is great advice. Thx.:smthumbup:
> 
> 
> The council president (divorced) went to both new renters and told them lies about me. A short time later, I'm friends with the renters and they told me what she had said.......they told me, that isn't you and doesn't sound like you. At that point I told them the history of this place and them. Then the renters said, ah, we figured as much. I then confronted this council president, I don't shy down from anyone, that she had said those things about me. Email of course, and nothing stupid or threatening. She took off for the week and had security installed for her unit with the security sticker on her front door.


Nothing wrong with standing up for yourself or the truth

Speak the truth and leave it at that

The truth will always be

55


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

The goal of a single man is piece. The goal of a married man is peace. Since you are among the latter group, I don't see any possible advantages in you engaging these women in conversation or (heaven forbid), crawling down into their minds. Somewhere in this apartment complex is the unit you must occupy with your wife. If you would like to have a few minutes of peace, I would leave these women alone.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Now you are not just talking about divorced women. Now you are talking about single women too.
> I have lived in a lot of places and what I have found is that the more transient a neighborhood is, the more code and unkind the neighbors are. But even in neighborhoods are not transient, this is the norm. Everyone seems to be like that anymore. Few people give a rat’s behind about their neighbors.


I think it's a symptom of neighborhood connections being replaced with virtual connections.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Thundarr said:


> I think it's a symptom of neighborhood connections being replaced with virtual connections.


In some ways that might be true.

But I've experienced not so friendly neighbors for a long time.. even long before the virtual nonsense started. It does not matter if it's an over crowed low income place, a normal middle income neighborhood, or an upscale neighborhood.

Some neighborhoods seem filled with people who are just rude and unfriendly. Others are the opposite.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> In some ways that might be true.
> 
> But I've experienced not so friendly neighbors for a long time.. even long before the virtual nonsense started. It does not matter if it's an over crowed low income place, a normal middle income neighborhood, or an upscale neighborhood.
> 
> Some neighborhoods seem filled with people who are just rude and unfriendly. Others are the opposite.


Yea it's not new. Communities don't have to interact with each and haven't needed to for several generations now.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

> All these single/divorced ladies have been cold, ignore you, not kind, break strata and city by laws on purpose, never help anyone, never do anything for the complex and I would say are in it for themselves, what they can get out of it and they see nothing wrong with this. Over and over again, almost like a stereotype.


I think you are trying to find a connection here that isn't here. You want to understand why your neighbors break laws and act generally callous, unfriendly, and abuse their animals. This has nothing to do with them being divorced or single or female. Your neighbors suck. Humans of all genders, marital statuses, shapes, sizes, colors, and creeds can and often do, suck. 

I think the better question is - what's up with this neighborhood to attract these kinds of people? 

I don't talk to my neighbors. I'm not friendly or callous, I don't break the law. I simply don't talk to them. Because I learned lessons at our last apartment if you become too friendly then people assume they can ask you for things (food, money, borrowing stuff, babysitting). I say hello when I pass people in the hall but that's the extent of it. 

Am I part of the problem? Maybe. But - I have enough problems in my own life dealing with a special needs child and a BPD relative, don't really need the neighbors expecting things from me too.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Then another divorced single friend of mine, unless the guy is cute , she will completely ignore him , she wouldn't want bothered or to give anyone the wrong idea... *Some women , the more introverted, just think friendly people are "creepy*"... and true, you never know who may be a stalker...single woman do need to be extra careful these days...
> ...


So true, for both genders. I also find overly friendly people "creepy". My neighbor across the street is one. "HOWDY NEIGHBOR!!!" every day.

**shudder**


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

Fozzy said:


> I also find overly friendly people "creepy". My neighbor across the street is one. * "HOWDY NEIGHBOR!!!*" every day.


Really? "Howdy neighbor" ?
:rofl:
I think the only place I've ever heard that is in the "South Park" theme song.


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