# One sided



## Haley (Apr 22, 2011)

I can't decide if my husband is being selfish or just clueless.

It takes me longer to climax than it does him. I think that's fairly normal, but I will say that he has amazing stamina.

9 times out of 10 when we have sex, whether it's intercourse of masturbation, when he finishes, we're done. It's always been this way. But lately I've come to realize that me getting turned on really arouses him and helps him finish. But then he finishes and I'm left.....frustrated. I have to just calm down on my own. He doesn't like for me to finish myself off. If I do that, he'll want to go another round.

Like this morning, we had time for a quickie, he really enjoyed that I was enjoying, and then it was over. My nerves were still humming an hour later. I think it's adding to my overall nervousness. Is this kinda like a guy walking around with a hardon most of the day?


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Why can't HE finish you off after? And what's wrong with going another round?? :scratchhead:


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## Havesomethingtosay (Nov 1, 2011)

And how long is it taking and is he doing other stuff???? Your post is confusing. On the one hand he has great stamina, gets excited seeing you excited, and yet doesn't finish you off. 

Sounds like a game the two of you are playing.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Hey... who made him the boss of your sex life?

Don't you even get a say when it's YOUR O!

:scratchhead:


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

Haley said:


> Like this morning, we had time for a quickie, he really enjoyed that I was enjoying, and then it was over. My nerves were still humming an hour later. I think it's adding to my overall nervousness. Is this kinda like a guy walking around with a hardon most of the day?


My wife finishes much faster than me about 95% of the time. Unlike your husband my wife normally tries to help after she's done. Still there are times when even that doesn't seem to work or we are constrained for time. This exact thing happens to me regularly enough that I know exactly how you feel.

Hard on or no, that feeling you have is exactly what it's like for me. It becomes very hard to concentrate on anything else.

Next time he tries to leave the bed before your done (provided he has the time), gently grab his hand and have him help you masturbate. That might give him all the incentive he needs to be a more active participant.


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## shy_guy (Jan 25, 2012)

waiwera said:


> Hey... who made him the boss of your sex life?
> 
> Don't you even get a say when it's YOUR O!
> 
> :scratchhead:


 :iagree::iagree:

OP, Why let him orgasm before you get at least one orgasm? Are you just being passive and expecting his motion to bring you to orgasm? Or do you tell him to be still and you provide the motion that brings you to orgasm? If the latter, why would he have a problem being still for you sometimes and letting you build yourself to orgasm when you're ready to do that?

I'm going to have to admit that I'm clueless on how many people are doing all of this. I know that my wife cannot orgasm passively. I can build her to a certain point, but in order for her to achieve orgasm, at some point, she has to take control and build herself that last bit to her orgasm. She does that from the bottom, from cowgirl ... she can do it from different positions, but almost always, she has to be in control to orgasm. For me, it is pleasant, but since I also am not going to orgasm until I'm in control, I'm not going to build to orgasm while she is building herself - I just cooperate the way we've learned to cooperate to help her build until she reaches it, and then what we've learned that I can do to help her push it even higher.

She is multi-orgasmic, so most times she will do this several times before I orgasm. I don't even try to bring myself to orgasm until she signals me she's ready. Then, after I orgasm, she will build herself to at least one more orgasm (which she calls "dessert.") If we were expecting that she would orgasm just from my motion, then we could go all day and not achieve an orgasm for her - my level of stamina wouldn't matter.

It takes communication and coordination with each other to get it, but it wasn't unpleasant to learn how to do it. Now, I love her orgasms and don't want us to have sex without her having at least one (we do sometimes, but very seldom, and only when she sets it up that way.)


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

Just sat listen you selfish pr*ck I'm not finished yet. and I ani't going all day feeling like this you better get busy with your tounge or something. and then afterwards say wow thats what i'm talking about!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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