# Need help!!!Is there any hope??



## shana (Jan 29, 2009)

Hi there 
I am a new member and desperate for honnest advice 
I am 28 yrs old and a new mom to baby boy of 7 months old.
I was with my husband for 6 yrs moved in 2 yrs a go and when I got pregnant we got married.
We are having alot of difficulties and these problems are pushing me further and further from him.
My husband is a family man but ever since the baby he seems to run away from responsabilities. I spend the whole day with the baby and when he gets home he just seem to eat watch tv and sleep. He doesnt do much for the baby he used to give him a bath twice a week and now he doesnt even do that nomore, and simple tasks of helping with the laundry or cleaning up a bit seem to be too much to ask for! we are constantly fighting because I am tired and he doesnt do nothing!!! I barely have an hour for myslef and he doesnt seem to undrestand why I need time for myslef!!!!
In his eyes I am paid to stay home and take of the baby and the house.
I feel like I am trapped in this life and that our relationship is falling apart. My love for him is changing to anger.


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## humpty dumpty (Nov 26, 2008)

Hi your not alone in feeling like this, lots of women do. I stayed at home to be with my boys for 6 years before returning to teaching now im about to do the same for my brothers children.
How you overcome this is by making sure you get out as much as possible durring the day ,mum and toddler groups ,have friends over.i use to look after my friends children and she would have mine just so we could have a afternoon child free time.
Your husband probably doesnt realize how lonely the day can become ,have you tried telling him? And remember your children will remember you played and had fun they wont remember you cleaned and hoovered!! enjoy being at home it goes so fast!! And what you can try is to put him down to sleep early and enjoy some alone time with your husband good luckxx


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

First off your husband needs to step up and do his share. This is the child the two of you brought into the world. He will need both of you as parents for many years to come. 

A common problem for first time fathers is that they feel left out. While up until now so much our your energies as a couple focused almost solely on each other he now finds you very tied up with the baby. It may not sound fair but I experienced some of this withdrawal myself with our first. The depth of it can vary from man to man but many of us feel a sense of exclusion. If you think this might be the case them make time not only for yourself but for the two of you as a couple. Get a sitter and get out of the house for an evening. See if it helps.


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## shana (Jan 29, 2009)

Hi
thank you for the quick responses.
He actually acts like a baby aswell...he is older than me but acts up like ateenager and I would have never thought he would be like this. I look forward to end of the day when the baby is sleeping sp we can spend time together but he either falls sleep or we just dont talk...I feel like he does the minimum in the relationship and expects me to give him the world!! He actually looks for ativities outside the house while I have not gone out with my friends for months!!!! I feel like maid!


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Communicate - Comunnicate - Communicate


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## tofindme (Jun 1, 2009)

:iagree: communication is so very important


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