# emotionless wife wants divorce



## jazzman136251 (Jun 8, 2013)

I have been in a relationship with my wife for going on 13 years. We have been married for going on 3 years in july. Six months ago she told me if thing dont change between us we needed to seperate. I tried to change but my wife became emotionaly abandoned. She showed no affection, no care and no understanding. She started hanging out with and talking on facebook with a older man (in his 60's) who is married. She is only 29. I told her i was uncofortable with this and she told me she wants to seperate. I have no reason to belive that there is a physical relationship but i feel there is an emotional one. I have tried to be there for my wife through thick and thin but it is never good enough. I even stayed with her after an affair 6 years ago. I forgave her and we moved on. She now says that she can not forgive me for the little things that i have done in our relationship. This blows me away. We have 2 girls together and i can not see why she is willing to give up everything because she can not forgive such small things. Se says she loves me and dosent want to keep hurting me. She acts like she is really confused. She also still wants to have sex with me. I am not sure what to do. I am getting so many mixed signals from her.


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## shoulda_known_better (Jun 8, 2013)

Hey Jazzman (I'm into jazz too and a drummer),

I feel your pain, man. I'm going through something similar, though I don't think my wife has had an affair. I could be wrong.

What are the little things? 

Go put on some tunes or play your instrument (if you do). It will clear your mind some. It's a form of meditation. I need to heed my own advice as well. Wife and kids gone for the weekend. I'm going to keep the neighbors up tonight.

Best of luck to you!


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## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

Tell her to move out on her own for a month if she is so unhappy. A short period of separation may lead her to see what she DOES have. She does not appreciate you or her family at present.


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## Frostflower (Jul 22, 2012)

Let me get this straight, you forgave her affair but she can’t forgive ‘little things’? Perhaps you do need to expand on what those little things are, because if they truly are little things, then she needs to give her head a good shake.

For Heaven’s sake, why are you still having sex with her? She wants to leave you. By continuing a physical relationship with you, she is cake-eating. Is your self-esteem so low that you will continue to meet her sexual needs even though she doesn’t want any other part of you? 

Saying she loves you and doesn’t want to hurt you is only to try and make her feel better about what she is doing. If she loved you and didn’t want to hurt you, she wouldn’t be asking for a separation.

Is she still in the house? If so, she needs to move out and, as indiecat said, find out what separation is really like. 

Read the 180 google it or search this site for it. Implement the parts of it that will work for you. It will not only underline what separation means for her, it will also help you to become stronger.

And if you are continuing to have sex with her, you might want to look into counselling to see why you have such low self-esteem.


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## ReGroup (Dec 6, 2012)

Frostflower said:


> Let me get this straight, you forgave her affair but she can’t forgive ‘little things’? Perhaps you do need to expand on what those little things are, because if they truly are little things, then she needs to give her head a good shake.
> 
> For Heaven’s sake, why are you still having sex with her? She wants to leave you. By continuing a physical relationship with you, she is cake-eating. Is your self-esteem so low that you will continue to meet her sexual needs even though she doesn’t want any other part of you?
> 
> ...


This.

With each sexual encounter she devalues you more.

Cut off all support: monetary, emotional and physical... Until shes willing to re enter the relationship.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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