# Simultaneous orgasm? Never!



## engineer (Aug 9, 2011)

I have been reading the forums for sometimes but this is first post.

I am a little embarrassed to write this because i have never talked about it with anyone. Me and my wife are happily married for 9 years and deeply in love. We have 3 kids.

We have never achieved simultaneous orgasm during vaginal intercourse (ever) reason being our timings differ. For me it takes under 2 minutes after penetration to reach orgasm & for her it takes around 5mins (or even more). In the beginning we tried but discovered that its hard to achieve simultaneous.

So for the last 8 years, what sex for us, is this. I masturbate her first, when she reaches orgasm and she is done then i go for vaginal penetration to get my part. We are both quite satisfied & happy with each other. 

I just wanted to know are we an unusual couple? Do other people always have simultaneous orgasms? If yes how your timings sync up? Thank you for your time.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

Been married 20 years. I go first. Never together. What difference does it make as long as you are both satisified?


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

I think simultaneous orgasm is very rare. Women take much longer to get aroused, and for me, vaginal orgasms don't happen very often. My husband stimulates me manually and orally because the clitoris is the center of my pleasure. Then I do him orally or he enters me.


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## ViperStorm (Jul 11, 2011)

When W and I were younger that seemed to be some sort of goal of ours and we did achieve it. But that meant holding out was more of a concern as opposed to enjoying the situation. No complaints but as we got older we became more comfortable with simply enjoying ourselves. It hasn't happened for us in at least 10 years and I would say our sex is as good now as it was then. On occasion one of us may not get the pleasure. It's rare and it's been 50/50. It's different but I get a lot of pleasure with the W having an O. That can make my night and I don't have to actually finish. It's the journey that is more fun as opposed to the destination.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

When it happens great. At the very least this would require just the right amount of foreplay and control on your part.

The thing is, that it really is not anyhting you "work" for. If it happens then fine.

My wife is more apt to have an orgasm with me if she has had one or more already. So basically it is about getting aroused to the point of multiple orgasms and then we have intercourse. It is very fine for her to have orgasms and then for her to get the pleasure of me having one. She revels in that anyway.

Ladies first.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

We just go when we go and sometimes I don't go at all and that's ok 

If you are satisfied, don't worry about it.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

that_girl said:


> We just go when we go and sometimes* I don't go at all and that's ok *
> 
> If you are satisfied, don't worry about it.


Yes. Guys do not get that. But this is true. The key is to have the intimacy.


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## Riverside MFT (Oct 5, 2009)

I agree with all of the previous posts. The goal of sex is not to orgasm together, but to be close to each other. Those hetersexual couples that orgasm together are definitely in the minority.


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## bell (Jul 10, 2011)

I bet this is common and is not odd, at least you have a method and are getting it. My H and I have had that now and then. Now that I think of it, it happens mostly when we are well connected before penetration. Usually with a lot of foreplay or emotional connection, passion I guess. I remember we got a book on karmasutra once and it talked about breathing together and practicing those kinds of methods. I do think if you try to work at it and practice connecting your bodies it could get to particular sexual behaviors such as simultaneous orgasms. This may sound kinda cheesy, but maybe people get accustomed to have sex certain ways and it can be altered like training your bodies. Some people have written comments that say let it happen as long as it happens, and that's always nice, but like viperstorm said they try and achieve it. I personally think its really good if it happens and you aren't trying, but it does take passion and can be rare.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

A lot of extra foreplay makes it possible but is very difficult to achieve this with regularity. If you are both satisfied; don't sweat it. Just enjoy each other. Life is short!


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## marriedguy (Nov 7, 2009)

Sex in our marriage is pretty rare these days, but when we do have it we have been able to orgasm simultaneous..heres a tip

Go down orally on your wife, go until shes close to orgasm..then, stop..start penetrating and while your penetrating use a finger play with her clit..you should be able to tell by her reactions (or vaginal contractions) how close shes to orgasm..I explode when I feel her having an orgasm..it is an awesome feeling..


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## DG3 (Jul 13, 2011)

The only way we have simultaneous orgasms is when we manually stimulate each other at the same time. It really doesn't matter if it is together or at our own pace as long as we take care of each other's needs it's all good. Not unusual at all to not be simultaneous. Don't worry about anything, go with the flow and enjoy. Too much thinking leads to pressure. Have fun!


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

My stbx were simultaneous a lot, and it was really great, but it wasn't necessary... I don't think I have a lot of staying power, but was quite creative, but she didn't have much staying power either, so I think it was her that really allowed it to happen together. One thing that helped get there at the same time was, aside from a lot of attention before i/c, was making sure our entire bodies were moving together, dig in the toes, grab the head board, that's what seemed to work for us.


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## engineer (Aug 9, 2011)

wow i am surprised to read that we are not alone in finding it hard to achieve simultaneous orgasm. Thanks for some of the good tricks mentioned. Will try


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## Parrothead (Jul 4, 2011)

engineer said:


> I have been reading the forums for sometimes but this is first post.
> 
> I am a little embarrassed to write this because i have never talked about it with anyone. Me and my wife are happily married for 9 years and deeply in love. We have 3 kids.
> 
> ...


Mrs. Parrothead and I have done it a handful of times. We think it's very much overrated. Don't concern yourself.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

engineer said:


> Do other people always have simultaneous orgasms? If yes how your timings sync up? Thank you for your time.


My husband is a master at "waiting" for me , he has been so good at this our entire marraige (over 20 yrs). Literally, we orgasm together more than 9 times out of 10. Always been this way since we got married. Even before marraige, we touched each other & he would tell me to stop if he was too close, he LOVES when we both release at the same time. I've been so very used to this, I never thought much about it till I came to these sex forums. 

Early in our marraige, we didn't have as much sex as we should have , so he was literally ready to EXPLODE with very little touch, he always got me going with his hands to the point I was ready & hanging in bliss, then I would jump on top of him & he was able to hold it until I got mine, which at that point hardly took any time at all, unless we decided to go real S-L-O-W & let it delisciously linger. We did that alot too. We were always so in sinc with each others movements, without even saying anything, in the dark even - WE knew how close each other was and instinctively we came together almost always. 

The few times he went before me, I would get a little upset, not really --but I still wanted it! So I'd get him going again as fast as I could. IN his younger years, that was EASY & he didn't mind. 

We have alot more sex now, I can always tell by the look on his face & the spasms I feel inside that he is "ready"- sometimes there has been as many as 6 times he was on the VERGE but still managed to hold out for me. He can always tell by my breathing, how I am pumping him or I might say something crazy like "Plow me baby" (ha ha) -and we'll ride out that rapture together. 

It is not necessary but we both prefer it that way. I can hardly orgasm from oral -so intercourse is the Heights for me.


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## marriedguy (Nov 7, 2009)

A little off topic, 
So Im confused...what kind of orgasm do women get when its penetrating only? Im guessing because its G-Spot stimulation that its full body? 
Or does it feel the same as the clitoris orgasm..

Just wondering cuz my wife loves clit stimulation, and orgasms from it..but when I orgasm during regular penetration she seems to be feeling it the most..right after I always want to go again for 3-4 times but shes feeling too sensitive by the end of the second one and asks me to stop..

So Im wondering..is that a full orgasm shes having? Or is it just so damn close that shes about to squirt like crazy..is feeling so sensitive down there that she cant take it? 
I have asked her..she never gives me a clear answer..so Im guessing I have never given her a full G-Spot orgasm...it would be pretty cool to orgasm at the same time that shes having one..


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## nada (Aug 20, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> My husband is a master at "waiting" for me , he has been so good at this our entire marraige (over 20 yrs). Literally, we orgasm together more than 9 times out of 10. Always been this way since we got married. Even before marraige, we touched each other & he would tell me to stop if he was too close, he LOVES when we both release at the same time. I've been so very used to this, I never thought much about it till I came to these sex forums.
> 
> Early in our marraige, we didn't have as much sex as we should have , so he was literally ready to EXPLODE with very little touch, he always got me going with his hands to the point I was ready & hanging in bliss, then I would jump on top of him & he was able to hold it until I got mine, which at that point hardly took any time at all, unless we decided to go real S-L-O-W & let it delisciously linger. We did that alot too. We were always so in sinc with each others movements, without even saying anything, in the dark even - WE knew how close each other was and instinctively we came together almost always.
> 
> ...


With an X, I did have simultaneous orgasms almost every time for ~10 years. As you describe, the trick was to 'hold back' and release when my X was already coming. For me, holding back was easy, as she would not be in the mood to continue after she had had an orgasm. So unless I managed to hold back, there would be no big-O for me. However, coming together was never a big thing for me. Maybe I just was not happy with her?

nada


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

It's extremely difficult depending on what you do, mutual oral is easier as the pace can be set while for intercourse it's tough to get it simultaneous. Trying to slow yourself down will also slow down the missus, and vice versa. It takes practice to gauge from her body's movements and her voice to try to get the timing right.

It's been a while since I bothered to have fun playing around with this however. Most of the time it's just "yeah whatever, hurry it up"


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## MissLayla1986 (Aug 27, 2010)

My husband can generally hold out for as long as I need him to. He does have his 1-minute moments when he's stressed or feeling out of it, but most of the time he can wait until I climax or I'm about to climax, and he can usually give me multiples. But it usually doesn't take me long to climax; it's not uncommon for me to have multiples within the span of 5-7 minutes. In our experience though, there really isn't anything special to simultaneous orgasms; my husband actually prefers to wait until after I've climaxed because he likes to be able to focus on the sight of me reaching orgasm.

One tidbit though: my husbands one-minute moments and days on which he is not at his best sexually seem to correlate with ruts in his workout regimen (i.e. either he had an unplanned interruption in his gym schedule or he didn't have a great workout)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JRiZZY (Aug 11, 2011)

I don't think there is anything unusual about this. My husband either goes down on me and brings me to orgasm first, or I get on top of him and orgasm first before he does. I think we MAY have had simultaneous orgasms maybe 3 times in our 6 year relationship! As long as you are both satisfied, I don't think it matters how you get to orgasm.


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## dudeman1 (Sep 13, 2011)

engineer said:


> I have been reading the forums for sometimes but this is first post.
> 
> I am a little embarrassed to write this because i have never talked about it with anyone. Me and my wife are happily married for 9 years and deeply in love. We have 3 kids.
> 
> ...


I wouldn't worry too much about it. W and I have never (I think). Usually there is foreplay, I do a little on her manually and orally, then we go at it. When I finish, I usually keep her going manually =) its all in how much fun you have together.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## oldflyguy (Sep 15, 2011)

marriedguy said:


> Sex in our marriage is pretty rare these days, but when we do have it we have been able to orgasm simultaneous..heres a tip
> 
> Go down orally on your wife, go until shes close to orgasm..then, stop..start penetrating and while your penetrating use a finger play with her clit..you should be able to tell by her reactions (or vaginal contractions) how close shes to orgasm..I explode when I feel her having an orgasm..it is an awesome feeling..


:iagree::iagree:

I always get her "warmed up" unless she is doing it just for me...

we go together about 60% of the time when I get her ready...


OFG


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## HelloooNurse (Apr 12, 2010)

I dont think many people have simultaneous orgasms, due to differences in arousability from person to person. It is not all that great, don't worry about it. It isn't like in all those romance novels - they are extremely overdramatised. You don't even notice your partner is orgasming because you are.. lol. So yea don't worry about it.


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

We've achieved simultaneous orgasms a few times, but it's hard to do. I only have vaginal orgasms when I'm on top in a specific position and that position doesn't feel as good on him(which is why he lasts long enough for me to climax). So usually if I stay on top and bring him to orgasm I'm not in that position where I feel good but sometimes, if I'm really turned on, it'll work and I can work it out to orgasm with him.  It's awesome when it happens.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

you are not an unusual couple. my h and i have been married 14 years and simultaneous orgasm has happened twice.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Personally, I'm perfectly happy with my GF's orgasm triggering my own (not quite simultaneous), or me entering her as she's still having "aftershocks" from an oral orgasm. Either way keeps the good times going for her, I'm told. And I can feel the benefits, so I'm happy too. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JRiZZY (Aug 11, 2011)

Update: My husband and I did this last week! I was riding him and he held off until he knew I was cumming and wa-la! lol...very nice.


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## a0542959 (Oct 18, 2011)

I've been wondering about this topic for quite a while too. I've been very interested in this topic since I got married. Every single time my husband ejaculates, I orgasm. I don't try to--it's like my body is "in tune" with his or something. Has anyone else had this experience?


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## Laurae1967 (May 10, 2011)

My husband and I have had this a few times in the past year, but it's nothing we did consciously. We both enjoy lots of foreplay and then when we get to intercourse, we are both so ready to pop that it doesn't take long. Sometimes I come first and then he comes maybe a minute later, or vice versa. 

Regarding the question about what type of O a woman has through intercourse, I think it depends on the woman. I think for me, I'm so turned on by the foreplay that when I'm making love to my husband, my clit continues to get indirectly stimulated by our grinding and whatnot. I don't know if I've ever found my g-spot, but I know my favorite type of O is through intercourse, after lots of foreplay. Having my husband deep inside me gives me a longer, stronger, earth-shattering O. It just feels complete. *sigh*


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

30 years together, simultaneous orgasms maybe 5 times. It is neat when it happens, but W likes to continue after hers and I usually go soft not long after mine.
Her first, then me works best for us.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

a0542959 said:


> I've been wondering about this topic for quite a while too. I've been very interested in this topic since I got married. Every single time my husband ejaculates, I orgasm. I don't try to--it's like my body is "in tune" with his or something. Has anyone else had this experience?


Back in the day, when me & my husband never talked about sex, we were quiet through the whole thing, loved it but somehow still...... silence.... all we heard was our breathing in the dark & the feel of our bodies in sync .... I could have written what you wrote, I always felt this way too, less than a handful of times did he ever go before me where I didn't get mine, even though we didn't say a word, we WERE "in tune with each other" somehow - like we KNEW when it was working it's way up -down to the second or something. 

I always felt that was kind of amazing, like we are so meant for each other ya know. Even now , if he slips just seconds before mine, I always manage to go with him, it is just too exciting - brings me over the edge every time- which that does for him also. Even if he wasn't close, it near always happens. 

Plus I bet your husband gets you really "worked up" before that point-- he just KNOWS your clues, he knows your body so well, the flow of your juices, howeever you want to describe.

As I learned later by asking my husband ALOT of questions.....on HOW he always was able to "hold out", how did we always Cum together like that- our whole marraige infact. 

He explained he had to get me really "ready" through forplay before any of that pumping started -cause we were both ready to "explode" by then, so he had this methods. He has always preferred we ride it out together, he has told me so.




> *Laurae1967 said *- I don't know if I've ever found my g-spot, but I know my favorite type of O is through intercourse, after lots of foreplay. Having my husband deep inside me gives me a longer, stronger, earth-shattering O. It just feels complete. *sigh*


 I feel the same exactly.


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## cloudwithleggs (Oct 13, 2011)

this thread just proves what a great sex life I do have with my husband 98% of the time we orgasm together , I can count on one hand the times we haven't its really rare.


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## gonefishin (Oct 7, 2011)

Engineer

This is very common. If you are both happy there is nothing to worry about.


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## SepticChange (Aug 21, 2011)

For the first time ever we had one within 60 seconds of one another. Wow. It felt great. Never even been close with him or anyone else. Of course this happens the day we are to be separated for 2 months, ffs...why god?


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

Riverside MFT said:


> I agree with all of the previous posts. The goal of sex is not to orgasm together, but to be close to each other. Those hetersexual couples that orgasm together are definitely in the minority.


We may be in the minority, but having orgasms at the same time brings intimacy which transcends ecstasy. :smthumbup: There is nothing like it.

Lovemaking is still deliciously pleasurable, no matter when we come.


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## Accipiter777 (Jul 22, 2011)

I found what gets my wife off, and most times I can get her there within minutes of starting. Our record is 4 orgasms in 10 minutes. Thats me going down on her for the first, then the next three with penetration. When I get the right angle of entry, sometimes she'll orgasm within a minute, then within seconds again. Only once did we orgasm together. We dont try anymore... its more of go with the flow.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

At this point they're at different times and different rooms in the house. 

But even in the best of times it was a rare thing.


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