# Legal and Financial benifits of marriage question



## Kyle (Feb 26, 2009)

Hello, I just joined this forum. I joined because this one looks like has a more knowledgeable group of members then some of the other ones I browsed through. 


I live in Alberta, Canada and I've been searching for the legal and financial benifits/negatives of being married. I have found out that there doesn't seem to be a solid answer on this. 

Does anyone know a link to a web page that explains this, or can sum it up without quoting a 50page legal document. 

Taxes: from what I've read, its really only a benefit if one person makes alot more money than the other so that they can split the income to pay some of the money on in a lower tax bracket. This seems to be the only MAJOR benefit I can find, unless your state or province has a few minor benefits for this or that. 

However the negatives seem to be overwhelming. From everything I'm reading I see that if one person messes up their personal finances then their spouse gets dragged down with them. 



So to sum this all up: The benefit of being married is only if one person stays home to raise the kids while the other works. This equals tax benefits to the couple. 
If the marriage doesn't work out then the contract provides legal benefits to the person who stayed home to raise kids instead of focus on their career. 

Is this right? 
I really hope I'm miss-informed and theirs something more to marriage. 
Thank you in advance for your replies.

Edit: I'm well aware of the happiness that marriage brings to people. For this thread I'm just interested in the legal and financial aspects.


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## broo (Feb 17, 2009)

Legally a marriage is crap. But that is not why people marry. A marriage is the pledging of vows before witnesses to perform certain obligations. Since you are probably not one who takes vows seriously, this seems trivial to you. 

These vows typically contain coded language like honor, which means to give money to, or cherish which mean to provide food for. There is also the vow that you will not part flesh (through adultery) until one partner is dead. If taken seriously these vows will serve to foster and protect the marriage relationship, as the most serious problems in a relationship occur when these obligations are not met (or when they're not even obligations in the first place.)

A marriage can effectively be terminated when the vow is broken through adultery, abandonment, or if the man refuses to provide, etc.

The key is that other married people respect the marriage vow (especially those married a long time.) They will likely confer a nobility, dignity, and longevity to your relationship that would not be conferred if you were merely shacking up. 

In other words if you are not married, the asumption is that at least one of you is unserious about the relationship, keeping your options open, available to fly the coop as soon as something better comes a long. You are not seriously committed to one another, because you don't truly love or pledge commitment to one another, you've just experienced some sexual bonding and decided to up the convenience level by cohabiting.


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## Kyle (Feb 26, 2009)

If the main reason for marrying is the vows then why the legal contract? 
- is it just to 'prove' to others that you mean your vow? If you really mean the vows you only have to prove them to the person you took the vows for.

I consider the vows very important and for me there would be no need for a legal contract. Which is why I'm am wondering what the reason for the contract is for. Because I don't think the government(who validates the contract) really cares about you being faithful or what you do in your spare time. 

Its kinda disheartening to try and research this stuff and the only things that come up are negatives which really puts a damper on the idea of marriage.


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

through our married life- i know im in uk and the system is different to yours. but our legal and financial status in the beginning was the tax ppl seemed to take so much more in to consideration when we were married, than when we were single. as joint money is more taxed on. 
over here when our children arrived - we claim a child allowance.
but then can you outweigh the pros and the cons.
for instance - my H and i had separate homes. so bills had to be paid on both homes, council tax, separate insurances etc etc etc.
but in the long run and this can stil go for living with eachother (not nec being married) you can make your money work for you, by living in the same house. 1 set of bills not 2.
over my married yrs. the cost of living etc etc has all gone up. so in my opinion we are probably better of. 
as long as you can find a financial balance between you. you should be fine.
the matter of legality if you split up. would be a different matter.
but again depending on the type of person you each are, make a full legal document of what eachother puts in when it comes to the home.
like a pre-nup . i dont have one but in todays society of relationships i would now. if the home was mine and i met someone and they lived with me for 6 months. they are entitled to proceeds of my home if we split - so i'd be careful in these decisions but for obvious reasons.

on such matters like this , i would suggest you speak to a legal team in your area or citizens advice.


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## broo (Feb 17, 2009)

Kyle said:


> If the main reason for marrying is the vows then why the legal contract?
> - is it just to 'prove' to others that you mean your vow? If you really mean the vows you only have to prove them to the person you took the vows for.


No, the vows are public and made before witnesses, whose moral obligation is to hold you to the vows. Friends, family, church and community members have a responsibility to force you to uphold your marriage vows. For example, if it is public that you have a mistress, community members should no longer patronize your business, your church should excommunicate you, etc. until you reform your behavior. If you are a layabout, and refuse to work, your church should discipline you, your parents should scold you, your wife's brothers should severelybeat you, etc. Furthermore the legal system in some places, has joined in holding people to marriage vows, by legally forcing financial support, and in some cases punishing infidelity. 

If you do not obtain the legal contract, no one will confer on you the benefits or obligations of marriage. For example, other girls will not defer to your marriage, but will continue to pursue you, because you aren't serious, and you are technically available and single. And they are right. You will be under no moral, societal, or legal obligation to stay with your current live-in. If you left, no one would bat an eye, or say "what a shame". Instead they would say, "What did she expect, its not like he had any intention of marrying her."
If you have a fight and she runs to stay at her parent's house, her father will not say, "You made a committment, and you need to go figure out how to fix this." instead he will say "It's about time you dissolved this and find someone who is serious about committing to you." I know because I am a dad, and I would say this.
As a family member or friend I am discouraging to anyone who is dating someone long term who was not interested in marriage. I tell them they deserve better. I tell them the anti-marriage partner isn't serious and is too selfish and uncaring to make a formal committment. If on the other hand they are married, I am forcefully encouraging to them, insisting they get help and work it out, no matter how egregious the offenses seem to be.


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## Leahdorus (Jul 28, 2008)

There are some legal benefits of being married. Don't know if this applies in Canada though...

- Joint parental rights of children
- Status as "next-of-kin" for hospital visits and medical decisions
- Right to make a decision about the disposal of loved ones remains
- Automatic inheritance in the absence of a will 
- Social Security
- Medicare
- Joint filing of tax returns
- Wrongful death benefits for surviving partner and children
- Bereavement or sick leave to care for partner or children
- Child support
- Joint Insurance Plans
- Tax credits


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

Kyle said:


> I consider the vows very important and for me there would be no need for a legal contract. Which is why I'm am wondering what the reason for the contract is for. Because I don't think the government(who validates the contract) really cares about you being faithful or what you do in your spare time.


totally agree with you. if you're just getting married by the state, which is what i did, its just legal. i was vowed to my H long before i married him. i didnt need a piece of paper for that. I wanted the legal contract for the benefit of any future kids. And also, i dont know about canada, but if anything were to happen to myself or my H, i would not want extended family getting involved. I would want my H to make decisions in the case of my health, and i would want to be the one to make decisions for his health. that can only be done through legal channels. otherwise family can get in the middle of it and it can get ugly.


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