# Overheard an awkward conversation



## LongParFour

So my wife and one of her girlfriends were having a few glasses of wine, and while I was in my office I overheard a very awkward part of their conversation… The other woman was complaining about her husband, quite openly, and specifically about the size of his penis. Saying that it was simply too small. Now granted, if we are all honest I don't think there are many loin lumberjacks around, but I'm wondering if she is being fair to her guy, or if the word about average is true. My wife has zero complaints, and has said it multiple times, but I'm wondering what is really average in this department?

I know, it's kind of an awkward question, but living life outside of porn what is the threshold for being concerned? 


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## Spicy

LongParFour said:


> So my wife and one of her girlfriends were having a few glasses of wine, and while I was in my office I overheard a very awkward part of their conversation… The other woman was complaining about her husband, quite openly, and specifically about the size of his penis. Saying that it was simply too small. Now granted, if we are all honest I don't think there are many loin lumberjacks around, but I'm wondering if she is being fair to her guy, or if the word about average is true. My wife has zero complaints, and has said it multiple times, but I'm wondering what is really average in this department?
> 
> I know, it's kind of an awkward question, but living life outside of porn what is the threshold for being concerned?
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


2 inches would be a threshold to be concerned....


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## LongParFour

Spicy said:


> 2 inches would be a threshold to be concerned....




Hahaha


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## Evinrude58

What's the laughing about?

You're worrying about nothing.
Really. Your weenie is not too teenie.

Don't be ocd about it. You'd know already if there was a huge problem


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## WoundedTiger

For two years I ran a clinic that specialized in erectile dysfunction; age management and premature ejaculation. I used to treat patients with ICP (look it up) and as part of this job, I always had to inspect the penises once they got hard. Over these two years I probably handled at least 200 different ones.. One thing that is important to know is that the size is not fixed.. the firmness is variable as well, so good blood flow, enough twstosterone and intact nerves makes it harder. 
I also treated men that prostate removed and no erection in years and after 15 minutes and an erection harder than they have had in decades, many of them started crying. I have probably helped salvaging countless marriages and gotten many back in shape.

When measuring it, make sure it is fully erect and measure it FROM TOP (dorsally) to the meatus. "Average" length is between 5-6 inches, but KNOW there are many factors that can influence this. Lack of sex in itself will also affect it, but less so than our skeletal muscles. 

Finally, if I overheard something like that, I would have expected whoever I dated at that time to never speak to that women again. It's just some things that are very inflammatory and this is definitely the top one for a man, IMHO.


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## Satya

Not every penis is the same, just as every vagina is different. 

If two puzzle pieces don't come together neatly, there's bound to be some frustration from one or both parties. 

She could have valid feelings (hopefully her delivery was not unkind). But IMO, that discussion should be private between her and her husband. If you're not willing to discuss a topic openly with your SO right next to you, you shouldn't bring it up at all.


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## She'sStillGotIt

Evinrude58 said:


> Don't be ocd about it. You'd know already if there was a huge problem


LOL.

No he wouldn't.

The husband being discussed by the OP's wife and her friend probably has *no idea* about his wife's disappointment in his size. That's just an observation some of us women NEVER, EVER admit, even if things get incredibly ugly and there's a nasty split. Even THEN, some of us never say a word. Trust me. :grin2:


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## Mr.StrongMan

LongParFour said:


> So my wife and one of her girlfriends were having a few glasses of wine, and while I was in my office I overheard a very awkward part of their conversation… The other woman was complaining about her husband, quite openly, and specifically about the size of his penis. Saying that it was simply too small. Now granted, if we are all honest I don't think there are many loin lumberjacks around, but I'm wondering if she is being fair to her guy, or if the word about average is true. My wife has zero complaints, and has said it multiple times, but I'm wondering what is really average in this department?
> 
> I know, it's kind of an awkward question, but living life outside of porn what is the threshold for being concerned?
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


My DW always complained I was too big.


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## 225985

You need to expose it to the other man.


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## 225985

Mr.StrongMan said:


> My DW always complained I was too big.




Are you really too big or was she just using that as an excuse?

If you are big, then it really is a f***ing shame you are not enjoying yourself with a woman that loves you.


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## 225985

WoundedTiger said:


> For two years I ran a clinic that specialized in erectile dysfunction; age management and premature ejaculation. I used to treat patients with ICP (look it up) and as part of this job, I always had to inspect the penises once they got hard. Over these two years I probably handled at least 200 different ones.. One thing that is important to know is that the size is not fixed.. the firmness is variable as well, so good blood flow, enough twstosterone and intact nerves makes it harder.
> I also treated men that prostate removed and no erection in years and after 15 minutes and an erection harder than they have had in decades, many of them started crying. I have probably helped salvaging countless marriages and gotten many back in shape.
> 
> When measuring it, make sure it is fully erect and measure it FROM TOP (dorsally) to the meatus. "Average" length is between 5-6 inches, but KNOW there are many factors that can influence this. Lack of sex in itself will also affect it, but less so than our skeletal muscles.
> 
> Finally, if I overheard something like that, I would have expected whoever I dated at that time to never speak to that women again. It's just some things that are very inflammatory and this is definitely the top one for a man, IMHO.




I know a woman who probably handled 200 different ones over the years. (Which weren't that many).


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## Mr.StrongMan

blueinbr said:


> Are you really too big or was she just using that as an excuse?
> 
> If you are big, then it really is a f***ing shame you are not enjoying yourself with a woman that loves you.


I am big for her. She's a very small woman. And the fact that we never have sex only creates a "bigger" problem for her since she is getting tighter by her abstinence. And yes, it is a darn shame I'm not having sex with a woman who loves me. It's driving me crazy. Of course, I'm sure she's using the size as one more excuse for her to not have sex with me.


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## ConanHub

The threshold is somewhere between your confidence and prowess in bed combined with some factor concerning your wife, her confidence, sexual prowess and satisfaction sexually.

Pretty much between you and your mate.

Mrs. Conan could have a good time with a 3 inch wang that wasn't a toothpick. A very thin penis is probably the least satisfying from a tactile standpoint.

But from a aesthetic and foreplay standpoint, big units are more fun.


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## WoundedTiger

blueinbr said:


> WoundedTiger said:
> 
> 
> 
> For two years I ran a clinic that specialized in erectile dysfunction; age management and premature ejaculation. I used to treat patients with ICP (look it up) and as part of this job, I always had to inspect the penises once they got hard. Over these two years I probably handled at least 200 different ones.. One thing that is important to know is that the size is not fixed.. the firmness is variable as well, so good blood flow, enough twstosterone and intact nerves makes it harder.
> I also treated men that prostate removed and no erection in years and after 15 minutes and an erection harder than they have had in decades, many of them started crying. I have probably helped salvaging countless marriages and gotten many back in shape.
> 
> When measuring it, make sure it is fully erect and measure it FROM TOP (dorsally) to the meatus. "Average" length is between 5-6 inches, but KNOW there are many factors that can influence this. Lack of sex in itself will also affect it, but less so than our skeletal muscles.
> 
> Finally, if I overheard something like that, I would have expected whoever I dated at that time to never speak to that women again. It's just some things that are very inflammatory and this is definitely the top one for a man, IMHO.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I know a woman who probably handled 200 different ones over the years. (Which weren't that many).
Click to expand...

. HEJE, yeah it's always fun when I tell people I have gotten more than 300 different men harder than they have been in decades, LOL


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## Cooper

Spicy said:


> 2 inches would be a threshold to be concerned....


Is that length or diameter?


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## 269370

Cooper said:


> Is that length or diameter?


Circumference ;-)

Seriously, sometimes I wonder if women's 'locker room talk' is even remotely in the same universe in terms of proportion of appropriateness as men's...

<massive generalisation>:
While men often brag about themselves, how great they are in bed and how [email protected]$$y their wives are when they 'beg them for it', with women, humiliation of their husbands often seems to be the topic of the day....</>

This is not the first such story I heard. Don't pay any attention to it. Your genitals are fine, she will be begging for them


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## Evinrude58

She'sStillGotIt said:


> LOL.
> 
> No he wouldn't.
> 
> The husband being discussed by the OP's wife and her friend probably has *no idea* about his wife's disappointment in his size. That's just an observation some of us women NEVER, EVER admit, even if things get incredibly ugly and there's a nasty split. Even THEN, some of us never say a word. Trust me. :grin2:


Ruh roh....😢🙁😭


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## Lila

She'sStillGotIt said:


> LOL.
> 
> No he wouldn't.
> 
> The husband being discussed by the OP's wife and her friend probably has *no idea* about his wife's disappointment in his size. That's just an observation some of us women NEVER, EVER admit, even if things get incredibly ugly and there's a nasty split. Even THEN, some of us never say a word. Trust me. :grin2:


Otherwise known as the 'Voldemort' of marital topics. 

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## ConanHub

Cooper said:


> Is that length or diameter?


Pretty sure length.


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## Evinrude58

Not much use talking about it. It's not like one can use fertilizer on it.

That would break my heart if I found out my wife was telling her girlfriends about by tiny tool. 

I feel really bad for the guy.

She should keep her trap shut or divorce him.


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## 23cm

My wife complained about my size. ( Reference member name). And now her girl friends are flirty. I don't think she appreciates what she's got and clearly some of her friends are up for a challenge.


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## GusPolinski

FWIW, her husband is probably disappointed w/ the size of her vagina as well.


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## ConanHub

It actually speaks worlds to the character of the wife with the big mouth.

What passes for thoughts rattling around in her too empty head, I shudder to think!


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## giddiot

GusPolinski said:


> FWIW, her husband is probably disappointed w/ the size of her vagina as well.




Cavernous


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## LongParFour

ConanHub said:


> It actually speaks worlds to the character of the wife with the big mouth.
> 
> 
> 
> What passes for thoughts rattling around in her too empty head, I shudder to think!




Sooo true. This woman is one of the hottest, simply oblivious people I've ever seen.


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## ConanHub

LongParFour said:


> Sooo true. This woman is one of the hottest, simply oblivious people I've ever seen.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Hottest? If so, how does hottness impact brainless?


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## LongParFour

ConanHub said:


> Hottest? If so, how does hottness impact brainless?




Lol... no correlation, just an observation.


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## Chaparral

GusPolinski said:


> FWIW, her husband is probably disappointed w/ the size of her vagina as well.


As a matter of fact, I read an article on a similar subject that as an aside mentioned that as women gained weight, their hooha gets bigger. The cure was some kind of exercise that I forget the name of.

Anyone ever heard of that?


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## zookeeper

Why worry about something you can't realistically change? I'm willing to bet that the overwhelming majority of women would find a man's insecurity over the size of his unit to be far more of a turn off than the actual size itself.


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## GusPolinski

Chaparral said:


> As a matter of fact, I read an article on a similar subject that as an aside mentioned that as women gained weight, their hooha gets bigger. The cure was some kind of exercise that I forget the name of.
> 
> Anyone ever heard of that?


Never heard that (the weight thing), but you might be referring to Kegel exercises.

(It works for dudes too... kinda.)


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## GusPolinski

giddiot said:


> Cavernous


Wasn't really going there, but if she's frustrated by it then he probably is too, right?

Either way, I'd tell the guy to do Kegels, lose the gut (if applicable), and increase his water intake.


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## Starstarfish

> As a matter of fact, I read an article on a similar subject that as an aside mentioned that as women gained weight, their hooha gets bigger.


Big fluctuations in weight, particularly rapidly can affect muscle tone, yeah. Also if you lose overall body fat your like .. pubic mound can lose fat so it changes the angle of things. Including the angle at which you pee.

True story.


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## Wolfman1968

giddiot said:


> Cavernous



Reminds me of this Larry David clip:


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## Starstarfish

If the GF's husband's definition of sex is a 3 minute bump and dump with a micro mini, the complaint about size might really just be a cover for a more general complaint that he's bad at sex. I mean, even if it's a python if you are have no technique it's moot, really.


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## EunuchMonk

WoundedTiger said:


> When measuring it, make sure it is fully erect and measure it FROM TOP (dorsally) to the meatus. "Average" length is between 5-6 inches, but KNOW there are many factors that can influence this. *Lack of sex in itself will also affect it*, but less so than our skeletal muscles.


what does the bolded part mean? Lack of sex can make your penis smaller?


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## aine

Mr.StrongMan said:


> I am big for her. She's a very small woman. And the fact that we never have sex only creates a "bigger" problem for her since she is getting tighter by her abstinence. And yes, it is a darn shame I'm not having sex with a woman who loves me. It's driving me crazy. Of course, I'm sure she's using the size as one more excuse for her to not have sex with me.


But there are other ways to show 'love' in the bedroom apart from PIV only ? Just saying......


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## WorkingWife

I haven't seen *that* many but the one's I've seen were in the 3 to 7" range, remembering the 3" guy he did have ED so maybe he just wasn't that hard.

Anyhow, if it's any consolation, I have never liked large penises. I think sex should be had with enthusiasm and reckless abandon and I don't want to fear damage to my internal organs in the process! If one was exceptionally small, I think too skinny would be more frustrating than too short.


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## Mr.StrongMan

aine said:


> But there are other ways to show 'love' in the bedroom apart from PIV only ? Just saying......


Yes there is. And she will have none of it.


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## RandomDude

blueinbr said:


> You need to expose it to the other man.


Hey bro guess what? Your wife told me that you have a small penis, is that true?


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## Yeswecan

Spicy said:


> 2 inches would be a threshold to be concerned....


Is that limp or full crank?


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## Yeswecan

GusPolinski said:


> FWIW, her husband is probably disappointed w/ the size of her vagina as well.


There is that.


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## Spicy

Double post


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## Yeswecan

Spicy said:


> @Yeswecan Full crank:wink2:.


Sheesh....I'm hung like a light switch.


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## 225985

RandomDude said:


> Hey bro guess what? Your wife told me that you have a small penis, is that true?




Or expose yours to her so she can see what she is missing.


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## Spicy

I will reply based on my short resume.

I would agree that the average is six inches. This is based purely on the ones I have had the privilege of seeing and handling. The vast majority of those never made it to the glory hole, so I can't speak for their feeling on PIV. As far as PIV, the one that felt the best was also the longest I have ever seen, he was well above my stated average. He also was ten years older than me, excellent at foreplay, and just flat out knew how to please a woman, and his focus was doing so. I'm guessing the size was not the reason he felt the best. I'm almost positive of that. 

The smallest I ever encountered was two inches at full attention. I truly didn't know that could be possible for an over six foot tall adult male. I'm wasn't sure what I could do with that. Yet he came off confident about his teeny weeny, and had never mentioned any concern over it. Good for him...he had kids, so somebody took that bad boy a few times. He did say his XW didn't like sex.

All the above being said, I believe there are so many factors at play here. Size is one. Others to me are attraction, foreplay, skills, emotion, comfort level with partner, variety, and just flat out actual love being involved (or not.). Where size falls into that list, its certainly not first for me.

For instance, my XH was average size. He and I were very experienced from knowing each others bodies so well after so many years. So I thought he was good in the sack. 

My DH is well hung. He also is thicker, which feels wonderful inside me. DH has a limited skill set, is LD and not adventurous in trying anything new. Yet, he by far is the person I have been the most attracted too and desired in my life. So we are trying hard to meet each other's needs. We are a work in progress.


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## weltschmerz

She'sStillGotIt said:


> LOL.
> 
> No he wouldn't.
> 
> The husband being discussed by the OP's wife and her friend probably has *no idea* about his wife's disappointment in his size. That's just an observation some of us women NEVER, EVER admit, even if things get incredibly ugly and there's a nasty split. Even THEN, some of us never say a word. Trust me. :grin2:


Savage.


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## ConanHub

You should get the perspective of your wife about this lady.

Maybe through your wife, she could get some good advice.

Not the least of which is talking about how unsatisfying her husband's little wang is.


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## NextTimeAround

Mr.StrongMan said:


> I am big for her. *She's a very small woman. *And the fact that we never have sex only creates a "bigger" problem for her since she is getting tighter by her abstinence. And yes, it is a darn shame I'm not having sex with a woman who loves me. It's driving me crazy. Of course, I'm sure she's using the size as one more excuse for her to not have sex with me.


I heard that small women have larger vaginas because there is less weight pressing down on the vaginal cavity.


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## NextTimeAround

ConanHub said:


> You should get the perspective of your wife about this lady.
> 
> Maybe through your wife, she could get some good advice.
> 
> *Not the least of which is talking about how unsatisfying her husband's little wang is*.


I agree. I have never talked about my husband'ss equipment with any friend or family member. And i wouldn't want a freind talking her husband's with me.


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## Faithful Wife

LongParFour said:


> So my wife and one of her girlfriends were having a few glasses of wine, and while I was in my office I overheard a very awkward part of their conversation… The other woman was complaining about her husband, quite openly, and specifically about the size of his penis. Saying that it was simply too small. Now granted, if we are all honest I don't think there are many loin lumberjacks around, but I'm wondering if she is being fair to her guy, or if the word about average is true. My wife has zero complaints, and has said it multiple times, but I'm wondering what is really average in this department?
> 
> I know, it's kind of an awkward question, but living life outside of porn what is the threshold for being concerned?


I don't really understand why it even matters? It was another man's wife making the statements/complaints, and she thought she was doing so within the privacy of her friend group. It was really none of your business what she was saying or why, because she wasn't saying it to you and never meant for you to hear it.

To relate my own experience...I have some friends who tell all the gory details and some who don't. I have never heard a complaint about a small penis unless the friend was just dating or just having sex with him (haven't heard women saying it about their husbands, in other words). I do have one divorced friend who made a very understated hint about her ex-h's size while they were married but only once, and she never elaborated. Then after they divorced she did spill that he was so incredibly small she just couldn't work with it. That is not why they divorced though.

On the flip side, I've also heard gory details from guy friends, and have overheard things at times among guys talking when they did not know I could hear. Most of the time, the things I heard had more to do with "such and such woman is so much hotter/sexier/whatever, I wish she could have been more like that", versus specific complaints about her body, etc. Though I have also heard guys describe being with women where the fit was just not good at all (I did not speculate on whether it was because she was large or he was small or both), and of course they were not happy about this fit and usually ended it with the woman, usually without ever telling her this. And of course guys describing being with women who were hot and turned them on but who had no skills or were lazy lovers or whatever and how it didn't work out because of that.

In all cases, whether man or woman, no one was trying to be mean about their partner or ex-partner. They were just expressing themselves freely after the fact and being honest. They were not going out of their way to protect the feelings of their partner or ex, but they also didn't just slam them or say it in words that were meant to be cutting or mean.


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## ConanHub

Faithful Wife said:


> I don't really understand why it even matters? It was another man's wife making the statements/complaints, and she thought she was doing so within the privacy of her friend group. It was really none of your business what she was saying or why, because she wasn't saying it to you and never meant for you to hear it.
> 
> To relate my own experience...I have some friends who tell all the gory details and some who don't. I have never heard a complaint about a small penis unless the friend was just dating or just having sex with him (haven't heard women saying it about their husbands, in other words). I do have one divorced friend who made a very understated hint about her ex-h's size while they were married but only once, and she never elaborated. Then after they divorced she did spill that he was so incredibly small she just couldn't work with it. That is not why they divorced though.
> 
> On the flip side, I've also heard gory details from guy friends, and have overheard things at times among guys talking when they did not know I could hear. Most of the time, the things I heard had more to do with "such and such woman is so much hotter/sexier/whatever, I wish she could have been more like that", versus specific complaints about her body, etc. Though I have also heard guys describe being with women where the fit was just not good at all (I did not speculate on whether it was because she was large or he was small or both), and of course they were not happy about this fit and usually ended it with the woman, usually without ever telling her this. And of course guys describing being with women who were hot and turned them on but who had no skills or were lazy lovers or whatever and how it didn't work out because of that.
> 
> In all cases, whether man or woman, no one was trying to be mean about their partner or ex-partner. They were just expressing themselves freely after the fact and being honest. They were not going out of their way to protect the feelings of their partner or ex, but they also didn't just slam them or say it in words that were meant to be cutting or mean.


Your friends sound like they have class. I would not have responded like OP and wondered about what would generally be considered too small but wouldn't have appreciated how the woman in question was addressing a very personal and potentially marriage harming issue.

I caught Mrs. Conan commenting, favorably, about my equipment to her sister and told her in no uncertain terms not to do that with anyone unless she had my permission.

It would be one thing to talk about it in a constructive environment with friends that desire the best for both husband and wife but this scenario sounds somewhat destructive.

I hope this woman gets good advice soon. It just seems harmful to her marriage to complain about something that can't be changed on the man she vowed to forsake all others for and probably respect.

There are probably a slew of "bigger" problems in their marriage however.

Mrs. C and I have some very good friends we share everything with but they have our best interests as a married couple at heart and are trustworthy.

I'm blithering on. Stupid cold medicine!😉


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## Faithful Wife

ConanHub said:


> Your friends sound like they have class. I would not have responded like OP and wondered about what would generally be considered too small but wouldn't have appreciated how the woman in question was addressing a very personal and potentially marriage harming issue.
> 
> I caught Mrs. Conan commenting, favorably, about my equipment to her sister and told her in no uncertain terms not to do that with anyone unless she had my permission.
> 
> It would be one thing to talk about it in a constructive environment with friends that desire the best for both husband and wife *but this scenario sounds somewhat destructive*.


But...she was talking in private with her female friends. What is "destructive" about this scenario? We don't know her motivation or what was really said or what was behind her desire to discuss it. All we know is that the OP was eavesdropping on his wife's friends and what this friend said made him insecure.


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## 269370

Faithful Wife said:


> But...she was talking in private with her female friends. What is "destructive" about this scenario? We don't know her motivation or what was really said or what was behind her desire to discuss it. All we know is that the OP was eavesdropping on his wife's friends and what this friend said made him insecure.


I agree, a lot of information is missing and may never be known. However, if I was in OP's shoes, I would imagine that since this kind of discussion is taking place in the first place at all and boundaries of loyalty or anything else are out of the window, would the friend not expect my wife to share her thoughts and ideas (and perhaps exchange detailed measurements?) as well, to reciprocate the friendship?

It's all about extrapolation. And one of the few instances where the male brain runs ahead of that of a woman, in terms of imagination.


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## ConanHub

Faithful Wife said:


> But...she was talking in private with her female friends. What is "destructive" about this scenario? We don't know her motivation or what was really said or what was behind her desire to discuss it. All we know is that the OP was eavesdropping on his wife's friends and what this friend said made him insecure.


You're right and it could be harmless.

But complaining about being unsatisfied with your husband's penis in this situation is than likely not going to help her and her husband improve their marriage.

It could be like you have given examples of and be harmless.

I actually am unconcerned with the OP's possible curiosity or insecurity but more so with the lack of tact displayed by the wife in question.


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## 269370

Faithful Wife said:


> I have never heard a complaint about a small penis unless the friend was just dating or just having sex with him (haven't heard women saying it about their husbands, in other words).


Actually there is a thread running about a wife complaining getting married to a 2-inch Porridge Gun. It's anonymous, so not at all the same (maybe it's the same person? What are the odds?


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## Faithful Wife

ConanHub said:


> You're right and it could be harmless.
> 
> But complaining about being unsatisfied with your husband's penis *in this situation* is than likely not going to help her and her husband improve their marriage.
> 
> It could be like you have given examples of and be harmless.
> 
> I actually am unconcerned with the OP's possible curiosity or insecurity but more so with the *lack of tact* displayed by the wife in question.



"In this situation" = talking privately to her girlfriends.

"Lack of tact" = even though we don't know exactly what was said, what the context was, or what she was trying to convey.


The thing is, with a lot of sex or marriage problems, we simply don't know how to ask someone for advice, help or guidance. So we might just "blurt" the issue out amongst our friends just to see if anyone tosses back anything useful. 

What I would imagine was really happening here was a wife who is dissatisfied with her sex life, in her mind it is due to her husband's lacking size (though we don't know exactly what was said or what else may be going on), and in this situation she may have thought her friends would have some suggestions on how to work with it and have good sex anyway. (I have actually seen a few threads by women on various forums in basically that same situation and she was simply asking for ideas or positions that would feel better for her).

OTOH, sure, if she was just being mean and spreading bad info about her husband and simply complaining out of the blue about his small penis, then wow, that is not a very good thing for a wife to do. But we don't know that. I don't see any reason to assume the worst of her though just based on the OP's post. Not enough information.

Look guys, I realize this topic is something you'd rather no woman ever uttered anything about, EVER. But the fact is that yes, sometimes we women do discuss things like how penis shape and size affect our sex lives. And yes, sometimes we will be completely honest even if that wouldn't flatter you. The reason is because we aren't talking to YOU about it, we are talking to our friends about it. Similarly, men don't talk to their wife/girlfriend the same way they talk in lockers rooms when sharing about issues and asking for guidance sometimes. And all you men know it would hurt our feelings if we overheard some of the things you say. But you don't intend for us to hear it, and for that reason, IMO, its really none of our business. Same goes for women in general, and the wife in the OP's post specifically.


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## TheTruthHurts

I'm pretty confident about things though I always assumed I was smaller than average. Based on one of these stupid TAM threads, for grins I measured and found I wasn't small at all but thicker than normal. It's all perspective, and my W's view is WAY closer and different than mine.

No matter... many women don't even enjoy PIV (according to a sex therapist I saw). And as @aine pointed out, there are many ways to have fun.

I guess if you're small or big, find someone who enjoys small or big guys. There is no real objective problem here - just one more type of comparability to consider in a LTR



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## Cosmos

I think it's slightly hypercritical to criticize someone for confiding in a few trusted friends, in private, about a very sensitive issue, but think that it's OK to come to a place like TAM and discuss equally (if not more) intimate things in _great depth _with a bunch of perfect strangers... The woman in question had no way of knowing that her friend's H was evesdropping, and probably felt completely safe soliciting the advice of her friends in the privacy of one of their homes...

If, on the other hand, the woman was ridiculing her H in any way, that would be a different matter altogether.


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## She'sStillGotIt

Cosmos said:


> If on the other hand the woman was ridiculing her H in any way, that would be a different matter altogether.


Even if she *were* ridiculing him, she thought she was talking in confidence to her best friend. She wasn't announcing it on a billboard or posting it on Facebook or trying to shame him in any way. Life isn't all unicorns and rainbows and sometimes people are frustrated or disappointed and just want to confide in their close friends beause they know it will go no farther than that. It happens. Big deal.

And guys, that silly argument about being cavernous is a stretch (no pun intended). Women don't even _need_ to take their clothes off to know if a guy is small or not. You can pretty much make that assessment visually the minute he's naked and at 'full' potential. :grin2:


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## 269370

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Even if she *were* ridiculing him, she thought she was talking in confidence to her best friend. She wasn't announcing it on a billboard or posting it on Facebook or trying to shame him in any way. Life isn't all unicorns and rainbows and sometimes people are frustrated or disappointed and just want to confide in their close friends beause they know it will go no farther than that. It happens. Big deal.
> 
> And guys, that silly argument about being cavernous is a stretch (no pun intended). Women don't even _need_ to take their clothes off to know if a guy is small or not. You can pretty much make that assessment visually the minute he's naked and at 'full' potential. :grin2:




Yeah no. I strongly disagree. There are boundaries and there is loyalty. That woman crossed the line. Small penis bothering her is not something her husband can do much about. 
Also disagree about hypocriticism by posting about very personal issues on anonymous forums. The clue is in the word "anonymous". It is not remotely the same. Even telling your shrink about personal problems is more personal than forums!!


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## alexm

LongParFour said:


> So my wife and one of her girlfriends were having a few glasses of wine, and while I was in my office I overheard a very awkward part of their conversation… The other woman was complaining about her husband, quite openly, and specifically about the size of his penis. Saying that it was simply too small. Now granted, if we are all honest I don't think there are many loin lumberjacks around, but I'm wondering if she is being fair to her guy, or if the word about average is true. My wife has zero complaints, and has said it multiple times, but I'm wondering what is really average in this department?
> 
> I know, it's kind of an awkward question, but living life outside of porn what is the threshold for being concerned?
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Meh, it's all relative.

Sure, women and men can and will discuss things like this from time to time if it's important to them, particularly with close friends. Is it right? That's subjective, IMO. Is it fairly common? Probably more than many of us think. I mean, if it's a genuine complaint or issue, and she feels she needs somebody to confide in about it, then she has the right to. I'm sure many of us have opened up to a close friend about something we didn't like about our partners, past and present.

If it's a genuine issue to this woman, and they weren't sitting there laughing about it, I see little problem with it. It's not something I'd have wanted to overhear, but meh. But the reality is that, if the conversation was serious and not meant to belittle (no pun intended) her husband, then it legitimises it, to a certain degree. Sometimes people confide in their friends when there's an issue within a relationship. Clearly this is one, and this woman was looking for support or advice, or something.

As I said, it's all relative. We men have to realize that vaginas come in all shapes and sizes, too, yet it's almost always the man that's too small/too big, with nary a mention of the woman's ability or inability to accommodate. A large vagina is equal to a small penis, yet it's really only ever the small penis that gets discussed.

Furthermore, and this is just a hunch, but I'm willing to bet that many women who have larger than average vaginas don't know this, as it's not visible. You can SEE a penis and know if it's small, average or large immediately. You can measure a penis. AFAIK, there's no way to measure a vagina.

It's all 50/50. A woman thinks so-and-so's penis is too small? It may very well be that they're too big, but the "blame" goes to the penis.


----------



## alexm

Chaparral said:


> As a matter of fact, I read an article on a similar subject that as an aside mentioned that as women gained weight, their hooha gets bigger. The cure was some kind of exercise that I forget the name of.
> 
> Anyone ever heard of that?


Extremely small sample size, but my experience doesn't correlate.

I was with a woman who was tiny, ~100lbs and slim, and she had probably the most spacious vagina I've ever come across. Conversely, I was with a woman who was plus-sized and I literally couldn't get it in.

It's all in the muscles, IMO. We're all built differently, and our musculature varies as well.

Kegel exercises can help, for sure (which is what you're talking about), but some women are also just born with it and some aren't.

Just like penises, the size of the person doesn't indicate the size of their genitalia, and I don't believe weight or natural shape and size has anything to do with it, either. Obviously if a woman puts on weight, it can give the appearance of a larger vagina, as fat can accumulate around the stomach area. But it won't affect the inside. Just as men who put on weight accumulate fat around their stomachs, giving the appearance of a smaller penis. But the penis is still the same size, it just gets 'hidden'!


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## Cosmos

alexm said:


> Furthermore, and this is just a hunch, but I'm willing to bet that many women who have larger than average vaginas don't know this, as it's not visible. You can SEE a penis and know if it's small, average or large immediately. You can measure a penis. AFAIK, there's no way to measure a vagina.
> 
> It's all 50/50. A woman thinks so-and-so's penis is too small? It may very well be that they're too big, but the "blame" goes to the penis.


We're talking about two _entirely_ different scenarios here. 



Women aren't born with large vaginas. If a woman has never had children, it's_ highly unlikely_ that her vagina will be too big. However, vaginal muscles can become loose after childbirth, making satisfying sex a little difficult. Kegel exercises have been known to help enormously with this problem.


Some men are unfortunate enough to be born with penises that are so small that they make sexual intercourse either impossible or extremely frustrating and, even, painful for their partners.

It's possible that the woman in question was just trying to get some ideas from her friends about creating a more rewarding sex life, rather than deliberately demeaning or shaming her H.


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## alexm

Cosmos said:


> We're talking about two _entirely_ different scenarios here.
> 
> 
> 
> Women aren't born with large vaginas. If a woman has never had children, it's_ highly unlikely_ that her vagina will be too big. However, vaginal muscles can become loose after childbirth, making satisfying sex a little difficult. Kegel exercises have been known to help enormously with this problem.
> 
> 
> Some men are unfortunate enough to be born with penises that are so small that they make sexual intercourse either impossible or extremely frustrating and, even, painful for their partners.
> 
> It's possible that the woman in question was just trying to get some ideas from her friends about creating a more rewarding sex life, rather than deliberately demeaning or shaming her H.


I hate to say it, but you're wrong 

It's a myth that vaginas change 'size' because of childbirth (or god forbid, many partners).

It CAN, and does occasionally, depending upon the birth itself, but it's actually just as common that a woman's vagina becomes tighter afterwards as opposed to bigger. Usually they return to normal (if there was any muscle damage to begin with).

The thing is, muscles repair themselves. People who lift weights know this. They become bigger because you are literally damaging them, then repairing, damaging, then repairing.

"After you workout, your body repairs or replaces damaged muscle fibers through a cellular process where it fuses muscle fibers together to form new muscle protein strands or myofibrils. These repaired myofibrils increase in thickness and number to create muscle hypertrophy (growth)." - the first web page that came up when I googled it.

Childbirth can change the muscles in that area positively, negatively or not at all. There's no pre-determination that a woman who's had 8 kids will have a huge vagina, versus a woman who's had no kids.

Now what is true, for many women, is that the vagina will change size over time (ie. age). As most of us lose muscle mass as we age, it's perfectly normal. This is why Kegel exercises are important, especially as we get older. They work on men, too.

As far as being 'born' with a large vagina/penis - of course we are, it's genetics. Obviously they grow into adulthood, but it's pre-determined, just like the size of your feet, or your ears, or your nose.

So, a woman can _partially_ control the 'size' of her vagina through something like kegel exercises, but the reality is that it increases the strength of those muscles and her ability to squeeze and/or control them. Same way a gym rat lifts weights. He/she can gain some solid muscle mass, but it's only as long as they continue it. Those muscles will be lost if they stop lifting, and return to their normal state. A woman gives birth, and whatever happens to her vaginal muscles will, more often than not, return to the state they were prior. They may also not, and her vagina will be looser, OR they will repair themselves in a way that makes her tighter.


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## Cosmos

> Originally Posted by Cosmos
> 
> 
> We're talking about two entirely different scenarios here.
> 
> Women aren't born with large vaginas. If a woman has never had children, it's highly unlikely that her vagina will be too big. However, vaginal muscles can become loose after childbirth, making satisfying sex a little difficult. Kegel exercises have been known to help enormously with this problem.
> 
> Some men are unfortunate enough to be born with penises that are so small that they make sexual intercourse either impossible or extremely frustrating and, even, painful for their partners.
> 
> 
> It's possible that the woman in question was just trying to get some ideas from her friends about creating a more rewarding sex life, rather than deliberately demeaning or shaming her H.





alexm said:


> I hate to say it, but you're wrong


You are perfectly at liberty to disagree with what I posted (even though you don't appear to have even read it!), but I can assure you that what I posted is _perfectly correct.
_
Apart from leaving you with the following info, let us just agree to disgree...

http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/conditio...ur-vagina-or-vulva-too-big-8211-or-too-small/


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## TX-SC

I guess I was in the wrong locker rooms or had the wrong friends! I've never discussed any gf's (before marriage) or my wife's private parts with any other man or woman. Now, I might complain to my brother that I don't get enough oral, but he knows NOTHING of how her vagina or breasts look or feel. I just don't understand the concept of discussing such things with a friend. Why would I want a friend of mine to know how big her clit or labia are, or how tight she is? Or, how sensitive her clit is? Or if she gets really wet or not?


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## Cosmos

TX-SC said:


> I guess I was in the wrong locker rooms or had the wrong friends! I've never discussed any gf's (before marriage) or my wife's private parts with any other man or woman. Now, I might complain to my brother that I don't get enough oral, but he knows NOTHING of how her vagina or breasts look or feel. *I just don't understand the concept of discussing such things with a friend. *Why would I want a friend of mine to know how big her clit or labia are, or how tight she is? Or, how sensitive her clit is? Or if she gets really wet or not?


Me neither. However, it's obvious that for some it is the norm.


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## 269370

TX-SC said:


> I guess I was in the wrong locker rooms or had the wrong friends! I'm never discussed any gf or my wife's private parts with any other man or woman. Now, I might complain to my brother that I don't get enough oral, but he knows NOTHING of how her vagina or breasts look or feel. I just don't understand the concept of discussing such things with a friend. Why would I want a friend of mine to know how big her clit or labia are, or how tight she is?




You wouldn't. Unless you didn't care at all about how she would feel if your brother happened to bump into her.
It's not ok and if I found out this about my wife, I would probably lose a portion of trust for her. Unless there was a very valid reason for this conversation, e.g. "the world is going to end tomorrow and the only way to save it, is to use my husband's tiny little penis".... (But seriously, I cannot really see what this could be, from the information provided, apart from getting some sympathy or entertainment value on husband's expense).




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## alexm

Cosmos said:


> You are perfectly at liberty to disagree with what I posted (even though you don't appear to have even read it!), but I can assure you that what I posted is _perfectly correct.
> _
> Apart from leaving you with the following info, let us just agree to disgree...
> 
> For women: is your vagina or vulva too big ? or too small?


Right, so maybe I wasn't clear in my response, and I apologize.

The vagina will change after childbirth, but it will, more often than not, return to it's (more or less) normal size, especially if Kegel exercises are done, and normal activities resume. It can take time, of course, and perhaps some effort. But the 'damage' is usually reversible. Doctors will (I hope) always tell a woman that some work may need to be done.

What I read from your original reply was that childbirth = larger vagina, period. Or perhaps if you're with a woman who's had a few babies, you can expect her vagina to be... big.

Again, it's the muscles that are damaged, and much like lifting weights, it can be rebuilt.

Also, not all women will damage their muscles, or in particular, the ones that have any effect on vaginal size.

Anyway, I was more just commenting on the whole myth that 'many babies = huge vagina'. I did say it's possible, but that's due to either irreversible muscle damage or a woman simply not 'exercising' those muscles, post-childbirth.


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## Starstarfish

ConanHub said:


> You're right and it could be harmless.
> 
> But complaining about being unsatisfied with your husband's penis in this situation is than likely not going to help her and her husband improve their marriage.
> 
> It could be like you have given examples of and be harmless.
> 
> I actually am unconcerned with the OP's possible curiosity or insecurity but more so with the lack of tact displayed by the wife in question.


Arguably though how is complaining to your friends fundamentally different than the people who come to TAM to rant. Are some of the complaints here, complete with like ... rife levels of personal detail really that much more "tactful?" Just because they aren't vocalized outloud?

I mean, reading TAM I know some pretty heavy stuff about other people (and in turn people know some about me.)


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## Starstarfish

> Just like penises, the size of the person doesn't indicate the size of their genitalia, and I don't believe weight or natural shape and size has anything to do with it, either. Obviously if a woman puts on weight, it can give the appearance of a larger vagina, as fat can accumulate around the stomach area. But it won't affect the inside


Yeah ... you can believe weight gain or loss doesn't affect anything, but at one period of time I've got from 235 to 139 lbs. Please, please trust me to the degree I can again say this without getting really graphic, it changes things man, it changes things. And frankly, that was one of the reasons it was hard for me to maintain the motivation to stay at that lower range, frankly after being a "big chick" most of my life ... skinny me sex was terrible.


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## 269370

Starstarfish said:


> Arguably though how is complaining to your friends fundamentally different than the people who come to TAM to rant. Are some of the complaints here, complete with like ... rife levels of personal detail really that much more "tactful?" Just because they aren't vocalized outloud?
> 
> 
> 
> I mean, reading TAM I know some pretty heavy stuff about other people (and in turn people know some about me.)




Yet they don't know who YOU are, this is where the comparison falls apart completely.


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## Cosmos

inmyprime said:


> Yet they don't know who YOU are, this is where the comparison falls apart completely.


To many this wouldn't make one iota of difference. It would be the fact that the person they loved and trusted was discussing intimate details about their relationship with other people...

I _might_ fall into this category. If my SO had a problem with something very intimate in our relationship, I would prefer that it be discussed with a professional rather than a bunch of people on the internet.


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## 269370

Cosmos said:


> To many this wouldn't make one iota of difference. It would be the fact that the person they loved and trusted was discussing intimate details about their relationship with other people...
> 
> I _might_ fall into this category. If my SO had a problem with something very intimate in our relationship, I would prefer that it be discussed with a professional rather than a bunch of people on the internet.


Would it change things if that professional was, I don't know, your mother in law?

My reply was not to "which would you prefer: discussing embarrassing problems with professional vs anonymous forum", it was to: "which is less loyal: discussing embarrassing problems with friends (some of which might be common friends) vs an anonymous forum".

PS: I agree with you that it would probably be more helpful to discuss it with a professional, but it's about the need of wanting to vent and how to go about it best, without betraying a confidence.


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## Starstarfish

inmyprime said:


> Yet they don't know who YOU are, this is where the comparison falls apart completely.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


To me, that's kind of drawing an arbitrary line. Either sharing unflattering/intimate things about your spouse to others is something you fundamentally agree with or don't. How well the person in question knows you is starting to get into splitting hairs. Like what degree of familiarity becomes too familiar?
And where that line is will depend on each couple. 

Granted, making these complaints to people you are familiar with causes issues ranting on the Internet doesn't - IE, the people you are saying these things to don't have to look at the person you are taking about and consider their micro mini or whatever else you are ranting about and sort of eat that while they talk to them normally. Ranting to family members about a spouse can be a particularly bad idea because they never seem to forget it.

So yes ... there's a difference because of the possible outcome or repercussions, but I'm not sure I agree there's a fundamental moral difference.

There are all kinds of people folks share these things with ... doctors, priests, counselors, and yes ... the Internet. In some states, they are starting to make hairstylists mandated reporters for domestic violence because of how they tend to be privvy to things.


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## 269370

Starstarfish said:


> To me, that's kind of drawing an arbitrary line. Either sharing unflattering/intimate things about your spouse to others is something you fundamentally agree with or don't. How well the person in question knows you is starting to get into splitting hairs. Like what degree of familiarity becomes too familiar?


I don't think there is anything arbitrary about that line and there are also no "degrees". The distinction is very clear: if you are writing anonymously about a problem, you cannot hurt or embarrass anybody with it, intentionally or unintentionally. 

Provided the motivation is to find solutions to a problem (and not to humiliate and laugh at that person's misfortune), then no, there is no line being crossed in my opinion.

If the purpose is to humiliate someone, then yes, even anonymous posting would be immoral (immoral is perhaps the wrong word. Two-faced, perhaps.)

Would you consider voicing out loud the problem while completely alone in the room immoral too? What about thinking about it?


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## Starstarfish

> The distinction is very clear: if you are writing anonymously about a problem, you cannot hurt or embarrass anybody with it, intentionally or unintentionally.


Plenty of people have thought they were anonymously doing so and the person was hurt and embarrassed because anonymous, particularly on the Internet is not a guarantee by any means. So really it's one of those "it's not a crime if I'm not caught" kind of things. 

I do find that sort of an interesting stance on things given the fact that when on another thread someone clearly -was actually- embarrassed or hurt by someone's actions you worked hard to defend and understand the perpetrator.

So, we clearly have different opinions on this, and that's cool. 



> Would you consider voicing out loud the problem while completely alone in the room immoral too?


Pretty sure God already knows all about it, so me saying it outloud in a room by myself while self-soothing doesn't add or subtract anything to the situation. Well, provided of course I am actually alone and not one of the dozens of people here on TAM who have VARs hidden around. In which case I might indeed unintentionally embarrass someone by saying something when I thought I was being anonymous.

Hmm.


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## Rubix Cubed

inmyprime said:


> (But seriously, I cannot really see what this could be, from the information provided, apart from getting some sympathy or entertainment value on husband's expense).
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


 I agree with this 100%. Seems a few are being quite pedantic about this. Odds would be far in favor of a kvetching/ *****ing wife looking for sympathy or a laugh over expecting her friend to be able to help with her hubby's teenie weenie.


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## 269370

Starstarfish said:


> Plenty of people have thought they were anonymously doing so and the person was hurt and embarrassed because anonymous, particularly on the Internet is not a guarantee by any means. So really it's one of those "it's not a crime if I'm not caught" kind of things.


Moving goal posts around to suit your argument doesn't make it more valid.
The assumption was always that the anonymous concern, actually remains anonymous.




Starstarfish said:


> I do find that sort of an interesting stance on things given the fact that when on another thread someone clearly -was actually- embarrassed or hurt by someone's actions you worked hard to defend and understand the perpetrator.



I don't know what you are going on about and how this is relevant?. Are you referring to the hidden camera thread? You did read the thread until the end, where it is clear that the accusations of him actually filming his underaged daughter or anyone else, apart from his wife, are close to zero? (Which is *the only* thing I was defending, because it was hysterical speculation at that point by the majority).




Starstarfish said:


> Pretty sure God already knows all about it, so me saying it outloud in a room by myself while self-soothing doesn't add or subtract anything to the situation. Well, provided of course I am actually alone and not one of the dozens of people here on TAM who have VARs hidden around. In which case I might indeed unintentionally embarrass someone by saying something when I thought I was being anonymous.


You lost me.


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## Cosmos

At the end of the day, we all have our own boundaries and values and will hold different opinions on the subject.

For the record, I would _never_ discuss intimate marital issues with friends or family (_particularly family_). I would also think twice about what I post on the internet, because my personal philosophy tends to be:- "Is this something I would be happy for SO to read?"

However, we're all different and to each their own.


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## ConanHub

Faithful Wife said:


> "In this situation" = talking privately to her girlfriends.
> 
> "Lack of tact" = even though we don't know exactly what was said, what the context was, or what she was trying to convey.
> 
> 
> The thing is, with a lot of sex or marriage problems, we simply don't know how to ask someone for advice, help or guidance. So we might just "blurt" the issue out amongst our friends just to see if anyone tosses back anything useful.
> 
> What I would imagine was really happening here was a wife who is dissatisfied with her sex life, in her mind it is due to her husband's lacking size (though we don't know exactly what was said or what else may be going on), and in this situation she may have thought her friends would have some suggestions on how to work with it and have good sex anyway. (I have actually seen a few threads by women on various forums in basically that same situation and she was simply asking for ideas or positions that would feel better for her).
> 
> OTOH, sure, if she was just being mean and spreading bad info about her husband and simply complaining out of the blue about his small penis, then wow, that is not a very good thing for a wife to do. But we don't know that. I don't see any reason to assume the worst of her though just based on the OP's post. Not enough information.
> 
> Look guys, I realize this topic is something you'd rather no woman ever uttered anything about, EVER. But the fact is that yes, sometimes we women do discuss things like how penis shape and size affect our sex lives. And yes, sometimes we will be completely honest even if that wouldn't flatter you. The reason is because we aren't talking to YOU about it, we are talking to our friends about it. Similarly, men don't talk to their wife/girlfriend the same way they talk in lockers rooms when sharing about issues and asking for guidance sometimes. And all you men know it would hurt our feelings if we overheard some of the things you say. But you don't intend for us to hear it, and for that reason, IMO, its really none of our business. Same goes for women in general, and the wife in the OP's post specifically.


I really appreciate your perspective and feminine insight here.

More information is needed. I have a more honest and closer relationship with Mrs. Conan and it is sometimes difficult for me to recognize that others might not be where it took us 25 years and a lot of work to get to.

I had a very male reaction to this post and appreciate your feminine insight.


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## ConanHub

Starstarfish said:


> Arguably though how is complaining to your friends fundamentally different than the people who come to TAM to rant. Are some of the complaints here, complete with like ... rife levels of personal detail really that much more "tactful?" Just because they aren't vocalized outloud?
> 
> I mean, reading TAM I know some pretty heavy stuff about other people (and in turn people know some about me.)


There is only one couple that knows as much information as I have given on TAM and my wife.

Anonymous posts can be very helpful without embarrassing anyone I know personally.


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## TX-SC

There is a very big difference between complaining to internet strangers and telling a friend your husband has a tiny penis. Sorry, but I have to call BS on placing those in the same category.


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## alexm

Faithful Wife said:


> Similarly, men don't talk to their wife/girlfriend the same way they talk in lockers rooms when sharing about issues and asking for guidance sometimes. And all you men know it would hurt our feelings if we overheard some of the things you say. But you don't intend for us to hear it, and for that reason, IMO, its really none of our business. Same goes for women in general, and the wife in the OP's post specifically.


Love this post!

I want to mention, however, that in my 40+ years, I've spent 35 of them in locker rooms. At least twice a week, year round (yeah, I play a lot of sports).

Not once can I recall anybody ever talking about their wife (or when younger, their girlfriends) in a negative way, or really in any way that would share any kind of _super_ personal information.

I realize that you don't necessarily mean a literal locker room, but I also can't recall ever hearing anything, ever, about anyone's wife or girlfriend that would constitute negativity towards them or their respective body parts. Believe it or not, that goes for ex wives, as well. The 'worst' I've ever heard is along the lines of 'this girl I used to date had huge t**s' and that sort of thing. But I genuinely can't recall any negative or ultra-personal comments made about anybody's current or past wife or girlfriend.

I don't know, but I'm kind of under the impression that (some) women certainly will discuss their husband/boyfriend's penis size with their best friend, or their sister or something, particularly if it's worthy of discussing (too small, or too big, for example). I've seen/heard it first-hand myself, on several occasions. Funny enough, it's usually done with hand gestures, but I digress...

I am sure there are men out there who have no tact in this area, but I have genuinely yet to come across one, and I'm in the prime areas in which these men supposedly talk about this sort of thing on a very regular basis.

I can take a guess as to why, as well. Here's how men think (particularly when we're in groups, like a team) - if Tom tells the guys that his ex gf had a cavernous vagina, 10 other guys will reply in unison "sure Tom, you just have a tiny penis!" and Tom won't hear the end of it for a while. Dudes rib each other over pretty much anything. So Tom will be reluctant to say something like that, as he knows full well what's coming next.


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## alexm

TX-SC said:


> There is a very big difference between complaining to internet strangers and telling a friend your husband has a tiny penis. Sorry, but I have to call BS on placing those in the same category.


I tend to agree with this. I've mentioned my wife's... size.. here before, when it's been relevant, and also not in a disparaging way. But this place is (more or less) anonymous. I suppose if somebody really wanted to Sherlock me, they could, but meh. The only identifiable information I've put out here is that my name's Mike and I'm Canadian. I trust that nobody cares enough to attempt to ID me IRL (but you never know, I guess, there are some weird folks out there...)

But I've never discussed my wife (or ex wife, or ex gf's) body parts, or shortcomings, or the like, in real life with anybody. That's off limits - for me. I genuinely think women are a little different, however, despite some women assuming that men talk about these things just as much, if not more, than they do. As I said in my post above, that's not my experience.

There's something about penis size that (some) women simply don't find off limits to discuss, casually mention, make hand gestures about, or the like. Certainly not all, or even most, women. In fact, probably a fairly small minority. But all the same, it DOES happen, and I've seen/heard it numerous times. FWIW, it seems to be mainly about larger sizes, as opposed to smaller ones, but I've seen both.

In fact, I'll bet that the majority of women who've come across a monster penis in their life have told _somebody_ about it. And conversely, a noticeably small penis, as well. But it seems that it's the monsters that women have no problem mentioning to their best friend(s) or the like. Generally, it seems to be with exes, more than current BF's or husbands, but all the same.


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## alexm

Starstarfish said:


> Yeah ... you can believe weight gain or loss doesn't affect anything, but at one period of time I've got from 235 to 139 lbs. Please, please trust me to the degree I can again say this without getting really graphic, it changes things man, it changes things. And frankly, that was one of the reasons it was hard for me to maintain the motivation to stay at that lower range, frankly after being a "big chick" most of my life ... skinny me sex was terrible.


I'd love for you to elaborate a bit, if you can. If you don't want to, that's okay. You can PM me if you'd prefer.

My wife also has lost a similar amount of weight (actually almost the exact same amounts, believe it or not). I can honestly say *I* didn't notice a difference in that regard, and I haven't got the impression she has, either.

Now, I think I may know what you're talking about, but I won't say it here in case you don't want to elaborate in 'public'. If it's what I think it is, then I probably know why it didn't make a difference to my wife, but could certainly have to you or other women who have lost that kind of weight. Of course I could be very wrong, and it _has_ affected my wife, but she's just not ever said anything (or doesn't care enough about sex - a likely possibility, lol). Like I said, PM me if you'd like, I'm interested to hear your experience as it mirrors my wife's to a T, re: weight loss. If you don't want to elaborate at all, that's okay.


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## Lila

alexm said:


> I tend to agree with this. I've mentioned my wife's... size.. here before, when it's been relevant, and also not in a disparaging way. But this place is (more or less) anonymous. I suppose if somebody really wanted to Sherlock me, they could, but meh. The only identifiable information I've put out here is that my name's Mike and I'm Canadian. I trust that nobody cares enough to attempt to ID me IRL (but you never know, I guess, there are some weird folks out there...)
> 
> But I've never discussed my wife (or ex wife, or ex gf's) body parts, or shortcomings, or the like, in real life with anybody. That's off limits - for me. I genuinely think women are a little different, however, despite some women assuming that men talk about these things just as much, if not more, than they do. As I said in my post above, that's not my experience.
> 
> *There's something about penis size that (some) women simply don't find off limits to discuss, casually mention, make hand gestures about, or the like. Certainly not all, or even most, women. In fact, probably a fairly small minority. But all the same, it DOES happen, and I've seen/heard it numerous times. FWIW, it seems to be mainly about larger sizes, as opposed to smaller ones, but I've seen both.*
> 
> In fact, I'll bet that the majority of women who've come across a monster penis in their life have told _somebody_ about it. And conversely, a noticeably small penis, as well. But it seems that it's the monsters that women have no problem mentioning to their best friend(s) or the like. Generally, it seems to be with exes, more than current BF's or husbands, but all the same.


 Just as you've overheard conversations between women on penis size, I've overheard conversations between men (lots and lots of them) on women's weight and/or body shape. I obviously can't know how it feels to have penis size criticized but I imagine it is as hurtful as having a spouse openly criticizing his wife's weight or body shape/stretch marks/mommy apron/etc , especially if it's in reference to sex and sexual desire. 

I'm a supremely private individual and would never in a million years discuss my husband's penis size or our sex life to friends or family. But there are people, men and women, who need that outlet. I don't think it's inappropriate per se, just not something I would do myself. 

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## Cosmos

Lila said:


> Just as you've overheard conversations between women on penis size, I've overheard conversations between men (lots and lots of them) on women's weight and/or body shape. I obviously can't know how it feels to have penis size criticized but I imagine it is as hurtful as having a spouse openly criticizing his wife's weight or body shape/stretch marks/mommy apron/etc , especially if it's in reference to sex and sexual desire.
> *
> I'm a supremely private individual and would never in a million years discuss my husband's penis size or our sex life to friends or family. But there are people, men and women, who need that outlet. I don't think it's inappropriate per se, just not something I would do myself. *
> 
> Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk


I agree with you, Lila.

The trouble is, penis size is such a sensitive and difficult topic perhaps the woman felt safer discussing it with a few trusted friends rather than risk being attacked on an internet forum... I think we've all seen how some of the penis threads have devolved on TAM...

Incidently, I didn't gain the impression from the OP that the woman had been making fun of her H's penis, but rather seeking advice.


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## 269370

Cosmos said:


> I agree with you, Lila.
> 
> The trouble is, penis size is such a sensitive and difficult topic perhaps the woman felt safer discussing it with a few trusted friends rather than risk being attacked on an internet forum... I think we've all seen how some of the penis threads have devolved on TAM...
> 
> Incidently, I didn't gain the impression from the OP that the woman had been making fun of her H's penis, but rather seeking advice.




It's not about the woman. It's about the husband (and his penis).

Who has been attacked on the forum for having a small penis? 

I agree in spirit, and acknowledge that women need their privacy to discuss things or share things with each other that they wouldn't necessarily want to or feel uncomfortable sharing with their husbands. That's healthy and perfectly normal. (Although many husbands feel that even this goes too far). I just feel in this particular case, the line has been crossed that's all because for me, this would be much too private and I don't really see what exactly can be gained from this conversation? How can her friend help her exactly?
For me as an outside observer, the benefit of venting does not outweigh the embarrassment or hurt she might unknowingly or knowingly be causing to her husband.


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## Cosmos

inmyprime said:


> It's not about the woman. It's about the husband (and his penis).
> 
> *Who has been attacked on the forum for having a small penis? *
> 
> I agree in spirit, and acknowledge that women need their privacy to discuss things or share things with each other that they wouldn't necessarily want to or feel uncomfortable sharing with their husbands. That's healthy and perfectly normal. (Although many husbands feel that even this goes too far). I just feel in this particular case, the line has been crossed that's all because for me, this would be much too private and I don't really see what exactly can be gained from this conversation? How can her friend help her exactly?
> For me as an outside observer, the benefit of venting does not outweigh the embarrassment or hurt she might unknowingly or knowingly be causing to her husband.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


No one that I know of. I didn't say that they had. 

*I also didn't say that it was OK for her to talk about her H's penis to her friends, for pity's sake. I just commented on why she might have. I might be right. I might be wrong. I really don't know!!*

Seriously, folks - I'm out of here. This whole thread is becoming ridiculous.


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## LongParFour

Cosmos said:


> No one that I know of. I didn't say that they had.
> 
> 
> 
> *I also didn't say that it was OK for her to talk about her H's penis to her friends, for pity's sake. I just commented on why she might have. I might be right. I might be wrong. I really don't know!!*
> 
> 
> 
> Seriously, folks - I'm out of here. This whole thread is becoming ridiculous.




I'm just sitting here eating popcorn lol


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## 269370

Cosmos said:


> No one that I know of. I didn't say that they had.
> 
> 
> 
> *I also didn't say that it was OK for her to talk about her H's penis to her friends, for pity's sake. I just commented on why she might have. I might be right. I might be wrong. I really don't know!!*
> 
> 
> 
> Seriously, folks - I'm out of here. This whole thread is becoming ridiculous.




Haha, I'm with you there. (I wasn't only replying to you, not sure why the quotes came up).
If the guy's penis only knew how much attention is being paid to it...


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## LongParFour

inmyprime said:


> Haha, I'm with you there. (I wasn't only replying to you, not sure why the quotes came up).
> If the guy's penis only knew how much attention is being paid to it...
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk




Most attention it's gotten in years from what I heard lol


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## alexm

Lila said:


> Just as you've overheard conversations between women on penis size, I've overheard conversations between men (lots and lots of them) on women's weight and/or body shape. I obviously can't know how it feels to have penis size criticized but I imagine it is as hurtful as having a spouse openly criticizing his wife's weight or body shape/stretch marks/mommy apron/etc , especially if it's in reference to sex and sexual desire.
> 
> I'm a supremely private individual and would never in a million years discuss my husband's penis size or our sex life to friends or family. But there are people, men and women, who need that outlet. I don't think it's inappropriate per se, just not something I would do myself.
> 
> Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk


Fair enough. I thought the comparison was apples to apples (penis to vagina?) though.

The way I look at it, if something is visible, it's not exactly private. It's not nice to talk about your wife's weight or boob size or things along those lines, but there's no hiding it from others.

The size of your husband's penis or somebody's wifes vagina is, obviously, not visible, and thus extremely private and should really not be shared with anybody, IMO. I agree.

But the reality is that some women DO discuss (or use sign language to convey, lol) their partner's penis size.

In my 40 years on this planet, and amongst many men in 'locker rooms' and the like, I have never once heard anything truly private said about any of their girlfriends or wives. Conversely, I can count maybe a half dozen times in my life I've been around women who've openly mentioned (or, again, used hand gestures! to convey) their partner, or former partners penis size.

FWIW, I'm not trying to prove anything, or even argue this, honestly. It's just an observation.


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## 269370

Lila said:


> Just as you've overheard conversations between women on penis size, I've overheard conversations between men (lots and lots of them) on women's weight and/or body shape.


Were those women the men's wives or random women? 
I have heard similar comments (I don't condone this either) but those were general remarks and not really a betrayal of confidence of somebody's spouse.




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## Lila

inmyprime said:


> Were those women the men's wives or random women?
> I have heard similar comments (I don't condone this either) but those were general remarks and not really a betrayal of confidence of somebody's spouse.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


The ones I heard complaints about were the wives. Mostly about the way their bodies have changed since childbirth -some were weight gain, some were stretch marks, some men just reminisced about the past when their wives had 'hard bodies'. 

The worst one was a guy I used to work with in a laboratory. He had a heavier wife (she was heavy before they got married) but would constantly complain about her weight. He came in one day complaining that his hips were hurting. When another male Co worker asked him how he'd injured himself, he responded that his wife was on top the night before and her extra weight hurt him. I overheard the conversation and felt so much embarrassment for her. 

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## Talker67

they make quite nice penis sleeve extenders for guys like that. Buy him one, and have the Mrs give it to his wife as a present.


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## 269370

Lila said:


> The worst one was a guy I used to work with in a laboratory. He had a heavier wife (she was heavy before they got married) but would constantly complain about her weight. He came in one day complaining that his hips were hurting. When another male Co worker asked him how he'd injured himself, he responded that his wife was on top the night before and her extra weight hurt him. I overheard the conversation and felt so much embarrassment for her.
> 
> Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk



So while I don't think that this is right and that it's a pathetic thing to say, the difference here is that he hasn't really revealed anything that is new and extra confidential (her extra weight). Sounds a bit like he was bragging about getting laid which is what guys tend to brag about and it's no big secret.
But yes if he mentioned how much her stretch marks in intimate places put him off of sex with her, then that would be in the same league as the Tiny Tim remarks I feel.

But in case I wasn't clear: it is wrong to mention it in this manner.




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