# wetness....ladies advice please.



## josh1081 (Jul 10, 2009)

So a problem my wife and I have been having is her being 'wet'. Anytime we have sex anymore we need to get lube out to get things where they need to be. She doesn't think it's a problem but I'm sure she would have the same feelings of inadequacy that I do if she couldn't get me hard very often. She says she is horny still but the wetness is a problem. Also when I try to 'pull some moves' ie ear nibbling or neck sucking, whathaveyou...they don't do anything either...i then start having thoughts that her affairs probably didn't have this problem and then I can't get aroused and just want nothing to do with her.
i don't know if this is a mental thing or a physical thing because sometimes it's niagara falls and other times a desert.
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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

How old is your wife?


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## Susan2010 (Apr 19, 2010)

You are equating wetness with erection? First time I ever heard this one. 

You are accustomed to thinking her wetness was equal to her arousal or her enjoyment. Maybe so but not necessarily. At least, you can't equate the lack of wetness to mean she is not aroused or not enjoying you. It's just not something a woman can control. If her body, and it happens to every woman at some point - young or old. I remember it happening for short while in my 20s. Lube came in handy. Again a few years later. Again a couple years ago. I am 50 now. I never worried about why it was happening, but it was never a reflection of my mood. Nor was it an indicator of anything else. 

I think you should take her word for it not being a problem. Your feeling of inadequacy could cause her some anxiety over something she cannot control, and well I can't imagine she'll get wet again then LOL. If it really bothers you, ask her to talk to her doctor about. Maybe a doc would be able to offer direct answers. But I don't think you'll like his answers either because he won't be able to suggest anything but lubricant.


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## 2Daughters (May 13, 2010)

ur right..it is the past affairs..the excitement, fear of getting away with something..it all plays a big role down the line..I'll never be able to be with my wife anymore because of that..but that's just me..good luck


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## josh1081 (Jul 10, 2009)

She is 25
and I always just assumed that wetness for women was the same as an erection for men. Which is why I asked because I had no clue.
It's not something we've discussed at length more then a few times in the last few years so I don't think I'll put any anxiety pressure on her. This is more something that is internal for me.
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## LaCuriosa (Jan 13, 2010)

Josh,

Note that vaginal dryness can have several causes. Many women experience dryness just before they start their periods, some when they're stressed in general, and some when taking medications (including certain types of BC) can cause dryness.

LC


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## josh1081 (Jul 10, 2009)

If I had to guess it would be stress. The last two years is when she was having her affairs and I can't assume she was living stress free at that time, and now is probably pretty stressful because of the pregnancy and the question of paternity (cancels the period out). Also add on top of that the stress of ous trying to work out our relationship and I can see how stress would be a big contributing factor. In hindsight though, I didn't know about the affairs at the time and just chalked it up to something I was doing wrong.
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