# Crazy family and crazy opposing attorney



## Almosttherehopefully (Nov 12, 2016)

I am in the process of trying to get a divorce. My husband beat me at the court house by 1 hour last January so he actually filed and since then has done nothing but put obstacles in my way in trying to get a clean divorce. By clean, I mean one where it is gentle. His parents are crazy and angry that I gave them their son back (he is old enough to know better) but he has always been a person who does not take responsibility for anything--even losing his civil service job he had for over 20+ years. He now feels he is "disabled" and can no longer work and is trying to get SSI.

To make a long story short, I have had to deal with everything, including trying to sell our co-op, paying all the bills, and just trying to make it day by day.

Now my problem is is that I am in posession of the family car, even though it is not titled in my name. It is currently unregistered, uninspected and soon to be uninsured. My name is totally off the insurance. He wanted a Stip signed so he didn't give up his marital rights but then reneged on signing the Stip he wanted (FYI, my attorney actually prepared the Stip). Now that I secured a vehicle in my name only, he is angry and wants to "give me the car" which I don't need or want. It needs to be in a secure location but I am getting no assistance whatsoever.

unfortunately, according to my attorney, since I am in possession of the car, I'm am one-half responsible for the safety of the car. This is crazy. I'm sick over this and despite my attornies reassurances that he and his paralegal (who are great btw), I still have a hard time functioning in a normal way.

I don't know what to do. Has anyone else gone through a divorce where the spouse refuses to do anything but put obstacles in my way, whose ex-inlaws do everything in their power to try and make me suffer, financially and emotionally, and whose opposing council apparently does not know what she is doing.

This is costing me a tremendous amount of money, time, grief and sometimes I think my attorney thinks I'm crazy.

I just need to know if I'm alone because I feel so alone.


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## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

Yes it's quite common for one spouse to do everything they can to make the other one miserable when they decide to divorce. 

It's called "hatred" and sometimes if you look at the history there is a very good reason for it. There was one clue in your post that points to a great deal of animosity between the two of you, and I'm referring to the line where he "beat you to the courthouse" as if it's some sort of competition that he won. As if it even matters who files first. 

Expect it to be a long drawn out and expensive fight. Unless you can figure out why he's being so hostile and do what you can to ease the tensions so you can get this over with. 

That includes not doing things to provoke him such as racing him to the courthouse.

You have proclaimed that his family is crazy, his attorney is crazy and even your own attorney is crazy.

When it appears that everyone around you is crazy, and it's even suggested by your own attorney that you just might be the problem, perhaps you're pointing the finger in the wrong direction.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

If your husband wants to give you the car, why not take it and sell it?

Or get a storage unit and put the car there. Do you have a friend who has a garage you could park it in? Is there something that your husband wants that you could use to buy him off basically? Give him something so that he either takes the car or signs it over to you so you can sell it?

Could you just drive it to where he lives and park it in front of his place and walk away from it.... just give it to him?

What stipulation did he want signed to not give up his marital rights? Rights to what? Could you please explain?


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## Spotthedeaddog (Sep 27, 2015)

EleGirl said:


> If your husband wants to give you the car, why not take it and sell it?


that is the best way - sell it for reasonable market value. Stick his half in a separate savings account "in trust" for when the divorce goes through, and use your half to buy yourself a car if you want one or whatever with your half.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

spotthedeaddog said:


> that is the best way - sell it for reasonable market value. Stick his half in a separate savings account "in trust" for when the divorce goes through, and use your half to buy yourself a car if you want one or whatever with your half.


I wish that she would have posted to talk about this to get ideas.

The only problem I can see with her selling the car is that she would probably need his signature. But I'd bet that he found out that he was getting some cash out of it, he'd show up to sign.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

I am not understanding why he would not want the car?


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## bojangles (Oct 11, 2016)

Almosttherehopefully said:


> Has anyone else gone through a divorce where the spouse refuses to do anything but put obstacles in my way, whose ex-inlaws do everything in their power to try and make me suffer, financially and emotionally, and whose opposing council apparently does not know what she is doing.
> 
> This is costing me a tremendous amount of money, time, grief and sometimes I think my attorney thinks I'm crazy.
> 
> I just need to know if I'm alone because I feel so alone.


Your situation sounds more complex, but you are not alone. My WW is stalling and dragging her feet on signing a separation agreement that is fair and a clean break (we have no kids, shared assets or property). It is required to file uncontested and I don't have enough evidence to prove adultery in court. Hang in there and best of luck.


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