# Hello Everyone!



## EmeryB (Aug 15, 2019)

In a nutshell, here are a few facts about me: I was married with two kids, husband cheated, I was devastated and thought my life was over, eventually divorced - - - - and now I am living my BEST LIFE! :smile2: It took a few years, but I am happy to say I climbed out of that dark pit of depression and despair, and I honestly couldn't be happier with my life. I have read the site a lot and feel that with all of my own experiences, maybe I might be able to help someone else.

The moral of my story is that no matter how low you get, even when you are at rock-bottom, things WILL get better.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

EmeryB said:


> In a nutshell, here are a few facts about me: I was married with two kids, husband cheated, I was devastated and thought my life was over, eventually divorced - - - - and now I am living my BEST LIFE! :smile2: It took a few years, but I am happy to say I climbed out of that dark pit of depression and despair, and I honestly couldn't be happier with my life. I have read the site a lot and feel that with all of my own experiences, maybe I might be able to help someone else.
> 
> The moral of my story is that no matter how low you get, even when you are at rock-bottom, things WILL get better.


*Welcome to the TAM Family, @EmeryB 

Your noted expertise and wisdom will, no doubt, assist in helping many of our newbies, as well as our old farts out!*


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## MovingForward (Jan 19, 2017)

EmeryB said:


> In a nutshell, here are a few facts about me: I was married with two kids, husband cheated, I was devastated and thought my life was over, eventually divorced - - - - and now I am living my BEST LIFE! :smile2: It took a few years, but I am happy to say I climbed out of that dark pit of depression and despair, and I honestly couldn't be happier with my life. I have read the site a lot and feel that with all of my own experiences, maybe I might be able to help someone else.
> 
> The moral of my story is that no matter how low you get, even when you are at rock-bottom, things WILL get better.


Congratulations, I felt exactly the same way, was terrible while it was happening but once the fog cleared my life was great.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

EmeryB said:


> In a nutshell, here are a few facts about me: I was married with two kids, husband cheated, I was devastated and thought my life was over, eventually divorced - - - - and now I am living my BEST LIFE! <a href="http://talkaboutmarriage.com/images/TAMarriage_2015/smilies/tango_face_smile.png" border="0" alt="" title="Smile" ></a> It took a few years, but I am happy to say I climbed out of that dark pit of depression and despair, and I honestly couldn't be happier with my life. I have read the site a lot and feel that with all of my own experiences, maybe I might be able to help someone else.
> 
> The moral of my story is that no matter how low you get, even when you are at rock-bottom, things WILL get better.


Your story is probably helpful to many. 

Can you elaborate on how you "climbed out of that dark pit of depression and despair"?


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## JultedMuppet (Jun 29, 2019)

EmeryB said:


> In a nutshell, here are a few facts about me: I was married with two kids, husband cheated, I was devastated and thought my life was over, eventually divorced - - - - and now I am living my BEST LIFE! :smile2: It took a few years, but I am happy to say I climbed out of that dark pit of depression and despair, and I honestly couldn't be happier with my life. I have read the site a lot and feel that with all of my own experiences, maybe I might be able to help someone else.
> 
> The moral of my story is that no matter how low you get, even when you are at rock-bottom, things WILL get better.


Thank you @EmeryB, you've certainly given me reason to feel a bit more positive.

I am at the other end of the process. I am just starting my "a few years" and it's pretty terrifying from this end of the journey.

So yes, your post is definitely a help.

- Scooter.


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## EmeryB (Aug 15, 2019)

Lila said:


> Your story is probably helpful to many.
> 
> Can you elaborate on how you "climbed out of that dark pit of depression and despair"?



Honestly, the best thing I did was reconnect with friends. While we all still had contact over the years, we were also all busy raising families and weren't as close as we once were. There just wasn't time. When they found out what was happening (my husband cheating - and eventually going through a divorce), we all came together. As it turned out, one of them was going through the same thing with her husband. 

We started out with drinks once a week at our houses. It was mostly a lot of "crying in our beers" . . . and that was OK. We talked and talked and talked and cried a lot for probably more than a year, all the while getting together more often until it was several times a week. Then one day I realized I had been crying less and less and was actually starting to feel content with my life. And then lo and behold, I eventually realized I felt HAPPY!! 

My friends and I made a pact that we will never drift apart again. Friendships are SO VERY IMPORTANT. My husband had kept me isolated. He was extremely controlling and just NOT a nice person. Looking back now, I can't even imagine why I tried to hold onto him as hard as I did. I know it was mainly to keep our family together, but my kids ended up being just fine. And I'm fine now too! 

So, to everyone going through the horrible awful black pit of despair right now, please try to remind yourself that IT WILL GET BETTER. I promise. But first you have to feel the feelings and time has to pass. It won't happen overnight, but make sure you're doing every positive thing you can to put your life back on the right track. Get together with friends. Take your kids on trips. Even something as small as having lunch with a coworker is good. Get out and do things. Exercise. Go for walks. Don't sit alone and wallow in your pain. (and yes, I did a lot of that) Take whatever tiny steps you can take, and eventually you will realize one day that the sadness is fading away and things are looking up!


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