# Did i marry two women at the same time?



## hurtinme (Feb 16, 2012)

I am going to keep this brief, but I am in so much pain (emotional) right now it is untrue. We have been together 15 yrs and married for a third of them, during the last two years my once adoring wife has changed dramatically and with these changes she has changed the whole dynamics of our relationship. Changes are an almost addictive need to see txt and facebook her friends, clothes, shape, looks, hair and outlook on life. We had a very insular relationship for 11 years and our main focus was on each other. 
She now wants to go away with her friends at weekends, take up evening classes, catch up weekly txt and call daily. She has suggested that I do the same with my friends i explained that this is not the type of life that I wantor have ever wanted and eventually I asked her to leave and she now lives with her friend. I still love her very much and she tells me that she loves me and I believe her (though I havent seen much in the way of actions recently). i cannot get my head around that she has give up our life, dreams and future. she is forty and female friends suggest she may be going through mid life stuff. i feel she is being extremely selfish wanting both single life and reassurance of married life. i miss her so much it feels like I am never going to get over her. There is a lot more stuff that I havent included here to keep it brief but not like affairs in the past etc rather just some tragedies we have been through. Your thoughts will be welcomed


----------



## justwhy (Dec 7, 2011)

she is moving on with/o you, it's fun for now and you are boring to her. good luck


----------



## camelliarose (Feb 16, 2012)

Be patient, if this is just a phase, she'll come around and regret it. If not, then you'll just have to saddle up and move on.


----------



## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

@hurtinme,
Bro I feel for you. Going through the same thing with my wife. She filed for divorce in January. Weve been together 11 years, married 9, two beautiful children. She says I'm a great guy, but she fell out of love. She says that I'm all she could want in a husband, doesn't know why she is feeling like this, but she is. No other man involved. It's a heck of an issue to deal with. I don't know how she could fall out of love, but still say that she knows she is a fool for doing this. Good luck my man.


----------



## hurtinme (Feb 16, 2012)

She tells me she loves me, maybe I am boring but she helped shape me, I am well liked and respected by everyone apart from her friends single friends that is. We have been through so much personal stuff e.g. family bereavements on her side of family that I do not know if it is fog on her part or what she really wants. I have tried to cut ties but she txt me I am not sure if she knows what she wants. I know what I want but if I can't have that then I will saddle up. I believe her friends are playing her but she won't hear of this even when there is tangible proof. I am amazed how hard I am finding it to move on and the pain i am in.


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Who is financing her free lifestyle ?

Obviously you see that she has chosen the single life over you, no loving wife would leave her home if it was just trying to be social. Select so she could see men freely.

So why haven't you filed? Is it because you think it will push her away? If so realize that fear is what you're living today, do file and move on.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## hurtinme (Feb 16, 2012)

She is self financed has more money and better job than I do, I hope you are wrong shaggy. She has chosen the single life over me that much is true but she been through personal traumas recently and we just wee not getting on as she spent too much time with friends I felt. We have seperation agreement in place and she is buying a new house and has suggested that I move in with her as a fresh start. It is so mixed up it kills me inside. I know I have to let go when all the finance is sorted but that fills me with dread and as you say fear.


----------

