# Hard time dealing with this :(



## lissa38 (Jul 16, 2014)

I have been married for 7 yrs and together for 13 yrs and I thought everything was fine and my husband and I were comfortable with life I was wrong he turned my life upside down he decided that he didn't want to be married anymore I had no warning he took off his ring and left me and the house abandoned my world was crushed I am having a hard time being alone again also sleeping keep reliving the awful day when my seemly perfect life was completely crushed I found out he was having an affair with a woman at work that he managed lost his job as well for the affair also found out some addictions he had I cant understand how I didn't see the signs of this coming guess I was blinded he has filed for divorce and am having a hard time dealing with this how could I christian man do this I still don't know what dreading the day I am served the papers I am praying alot trying to get thru this anyone have any guidance r has been thru this please respond


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## LBHmidwest (Jan 3, 2014)

There is a lot to read here.

Get your money together
Get an attorney
Get tough
Get him away from you and act like you DON'T want him back
Get into counseling
Get your friends and family on board

Protect yourself, start right now, it seems counterintuitive but don't cry, beg, plead for him to come back - it's the worst thing you can do.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How long has it been since he moved out?

Do you see or talk to him at all anymore?

What is your social life like? You need to start getting out and seeing people.

Do you have one or two people close to you who you can confide in?


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## lissa38 (Jul 16, 2014)

He has been gone for about a month and half he said he has been planning this since Jan 2014 I didnt know anything I cant believe I didn't see the signs he was cheating and ready to end the marriage he hasnt seen me I have went thru a world of emotions the last month anger,hurt, resentment ,depression ,he will only tex me I dont know where he is I work everyday come home I have a 16yr old not his I lost my 16yr father when my son was 1yrs old he is here but he cant comfort me and no one here I dont understand why this is happening nights are hard thank you for replying I really needed his


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## lissa38 (Jul 16, 2014)

I appreciate the help he has filed for divorce I wouldnt take him back after he cheated I have family and friends and I have the resources if this gets ugly which it may so I am prepared just hard to deal with


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## Kitten77 (May 9, 2011)

It helped me to read a ton of self help books. The good ones give you a different way of looking at things and the bad ones make you laugh. 

My husband thought everything was fine when I went home one day and told him it was over. Everything wasn't fine. Reflect on what was missing and be honest with yourself. 

What kind of addictions? There's a big difference between a porn addiction and a meth addiction.


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## lissa38 (Jul 16, 2014)

jrom828 said:


> Sorry, sweetheart. This junk is terrible, and I hate that you have to go through this. There are so many horrible things that "christians" do when they don't follow Christ. Thankfully, God is just. Keep close to Him and in prayer, and let Him be your defense. Praying...
> 
> -Jrom828


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lissa38 (Jul 16, 2014)

thanks so much for the kind words prayers I pray every day and I fill sometimes defeated but I am still waiting on GOD to give me strength


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## Pictureless (May 21, 2013)

lissa38 said:


> thanks so much for the kind words prayers I pray every day and I fill sometimes defeated but I am still waiting on GOD to give me strength


Think of Job....

Do you trust The Lord?

The Lord has given you strength, but why burden yourself with problems you can't solve? Put your faith in Him and he will solve your troubles.

Read 1 Cor 7:15 concerning being called to peace.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

Sorry you are going through this.

Be as strong as you can whether you feel strong or not.

Your H is a coward. Cowards tend to have a bad time in life. They certainly don't bring happiness to a relstionship. Maybe in a twisted way he did you a favor. He would have ended up dead weight in the end.


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## Mr Blunt (Jul 18, 2012)

> how could I Christian man do this


If he is a Christian then he is a Christian that is following his selfishness and not the ways of God and Christianity.

I would encourage you to reach out to family, friends, church, women’s groups, etc to help you cope. Also, transfer as much as you can your loyalty, faith, security, love, and worthiness into God. He is the only one that can fulfill all His promises all of the time and is always trustworthy and loving to those that seek Him.

My guess is that you desperately need loyalty, security, love, and worthiness and depending on mankind for that is risky, especially a very selfish man like your husband.




•	Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand



•	1 Peter 5:7
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I know that this is a very hard time for you. The way to get through it is to keep a good support system around you . Have a friend or family member who you can call for support when you are especially low. 


Plan your weekends out ahead of time so that you are not sitting around by yourself all weekend.


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## Matthias (Jul 16, 2014)

LBHmidwest said:


> Protect yourself, start right now, it seems counterintuitive but don't cry, beg, plead for him to come back - it's the worst thing you can do.


I wish I had known this before my separation started. I've been doing the exact opposite in texts, voicemails. Now she's completely stopped talking to me.


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