# Steroids have ruined my marriage



## RYANS

My wife and I have been together for 12 years and married for 1 year.We have two daughters,3 and 4. I have always had my up's and downs dealing with addiction,been to prison a couple of times,and have pretty much put my wife through hell and back. I have been clean since we were married up until a few months ago. My wife could tell I was depressed and was cool with the idea of me doing a cycle of steroids to get me out of my slump.About a month into the cycle we went to a party where we were drinking when we got home I flipped out on her over her not wanting to have sex. Things got crazy and I pushed her a few times.The next day she told me she was scared of me and that I needed to stop the steroids.I acted cool for a couple of days and blamed my outburst on the alcohol and continued using the juice for two more months.After that night her attitude changed towards me. She hardly wanted to have sex but still would cause I would be a complete jerk if she didn't.I was convinced she was cheating ,looking at her crazy when she was on the phone,tried controlling what she wore out of the house,when before I trusted her completely.I knew she was unhappy but thought it was cause she was with someone else. Things came to a head the other night and she finally told me she didn't know if she was in love with me anymore. I threw the steroids away the next day and tried my hardest to get back to the old me and treat her the way she deserved. The last couple weeks have been hell. She's so cold to me now ,like she cares nothing for me.We are seeing a mc but she says she feels like we arent going to work but shes not 100% certain. Iv'e been a emotional wreck,crying constantly, begging, pleading.She says she not comfortable around me and feels anxious whenever I'm around. I moved out yesterday to give her space and its killing me. I still can't help sounding pathetic whenever I talk to her on the phone even though I know it doesn't help. I love my wife and family more than anything in life and am willing to do anything to get them back. Before the steroids she was completely happy. Any advice on how I should handle this would be greatly appreciated. I know Iv'e been a douche and I feel like the lowest scum of the earth for the way Iv'e treated my wife,so I would appreciate not hearing it now.Thanks in advance.


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## auxanaa

I think you have to try to leave steroids. i know it is little difficult but do it man . and try to be cool, don't take much tension. everything is gonna be alright soon. good luck


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## Prodigal

Well, I'm certainly not going to tell you that you're a douche, because you're doing a great job beating up on yourself already. To begin with, you can't beg, plead, or barter for your wife to want you back. Just like she couldn't control your addiction, you can't control her choices.

Just a suggestion: get yourself, ASAP, into a 12-step program; perhaps Nar-Anon or A.A. Either way, start working a program FOR YOU. Ultimately, you can only control your own behaviors. 

I was married to a hard-core alcoholic, and I got to the point that I hated what he morphed into. I missed the man I married, but he was long gone. I left and I've never gone back. 

You can't get straight to save a marriage or to win back your wife. You have to go into it wanting to do it for yourself, regardless of the outcome.

Get into a program, and seriously consider IC too. Ask your wife to give it one year. Let her see your ACTIONS, not just your words. That is the criteria that will ultimately help her in making a decision. If she doesn't want you back, then stay straight for your kids, because they need their dad.


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## 67flh

first off the steroids did not cause your rage, if ur a butthead before the juice usage you will be one while ur juicing. i have MANY years of experience. they only time i could possible see rage is if you were doing some tren e...what you have is anger issues that you need to deal with.


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## RYANS

67flh said:


> first off the steroids did not cause your rage, if ur a butthead before the juice usage you will be one while ur juicing. i have MANY years of experience. they only time i could possible see rage is if you were doing some tren e...what you have is anger issues that you need to deal with.


Unfortunately, I was doing tren e,plus sust 250 and winn in the end. The tren turned me into another person. I was crazy to think I could handle 75 mg everyday for 10 weeks.I don't have any anger any longer.Nothgings gotten better with the wife. I moved out to give her space and havent done a good job of that. I've been so emotional, for the first week or so I was steadily begging her back. Until she got fed up and pretty much said she was done.I'm now giving her space.But, am afraid it may be too late. She won't even go to see the marriage counselor anymore. I'm hoping maybe she will eventually miss me. Only problem is, if I'm only talking to her about the kids, how will I ever be able to show her I'm doing any better?I guess I have to keep it that way until shes ready to start talking to me about other things. I'm so confused, I just want to tell her I can do better if only I was given another chance,and how much I love her.Reason with her you know?But, everyone is telling me to act like nothings bothering me and only talk about the kids.It just seems so hopeless.


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## 67flh

ryans, ALMOST half a gram of tren e a week!!! what were you freakin nuts? then you throw the sus and winny in the mix. nothing wrong with sus and winny. tren e makes me VERY aggressive to say the least.on one hand you are a emotional wreck, cause you just threw the juice away... what did you use for pct,anything? gotta have something to bring your nads back.as far as your wife, all you can do is just try to be the person she would want to be around,when she see you...good luck my friend


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## RYANS

67flh said:


> ryans, ALMOST half a gram of tren e a week!!! what were you freakin nuts? then you throw the sus and winny in the mix. nothing wrong with sus and winny. tren e makes me VERY aggressive to say the least.on one hand you are a emotional wreck, cause you just threw the juice away... what did you use for pct,anything? gotta have something to bring your nads back.as far as your wife, all you can do is just try to be the person she would want to be around,when she see you...good luck my friend


I've been taking Aromisen ever since I got rid of my gear.Then I waited till I hit my two week point and now am taking Nolvadex.I'm starting to feel more like myself everyday. Thanks for the advice and I'm definitely leaving the ten alone for now on.


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## RYANS

stritle said:


> better question.........why the he|| was he injecting tren-e daily?? .3ml really?? i could understand if it was tren-a, but regardless of that, 75/day is a bit harsh for a noob.
> he's either the victim of some really bad advice, or this story is a work.


Yeah my bad. Tren a is what I was on not teen e . And im far from being a noob , this is my fith cycle. Only a complete loser an db would make this up. Trust me ,I wish it were make believe .
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## StrugglingWife16

Ryans, are you planning on stopping steroids for good? or are you planning on just avoiding the tren? 
I am going through the same thing now only my husband is the one on steroids, he turns into a monster every time no matter what he takes. He refuses to accept its the steroids making him behave this way yet when he is on a break we have no problems. I am 35 weeks pregnant and he has just told me he is leaving me because he refuses to come off the stuff. I cant live in a house with our 4 kids with him constantly stressing at me, being horrible to me and the kids, having bouts of rage etc yet at the same time I don't want to lose him. Steroids are 100% addictive and I hoped given the choice of steroids or his family that he would choose his family but that back fired. Now I am waiting for him to move out as he has threatened and I am scared about giving birth on my own.


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