# This is the text i got today



## Again71 (Mar 31, 2011)

His text to me. This was 10 yrs together.

I need 2 find the strong desire 2 be with u again like we once had and if u can't give me that time I will never find it again so please let me have that time and not push me

Not desire 4 u that way

U are a very beautiful woman that's not the desire I'm talking about

I'm talking about taking on the world 

My response:
Please don't let anyone steal your heart before you really consider what we had together. We had that connection. And now the kids are gone- it will be u and I.

I'm not


Now would anyone like to analyze this? Input please.
When I asked if we were going to date other people- he never responded.

Do I wait? Because I have a few men already making moves. Even though I am crushed, I don't know what to do or think.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Again71 said:


> Do I wait? Because I have a few men already making moves. Even though I am crushed, I don't know what to do or think.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


If I didn`t know your story I`d say he`s already found someone else.

He may have.

I`d get a firm answer to that question about dating before I started seeing anyone else.

It does follow the script.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

He is not going to gain more desire for you by being away from you. The longer a couple is separated, the more likely they are to divorce.

My analysis of his text is that he's gone, he is having at least an emotional affair. And he wants to keep you in the wings while he tries that relationship to see if it's worth leaving you for. So he says just enough to string you on.


Look at the 180 in my signature block. This is how you should be handling your relationship with him now. 

As for looking for another relationship. Until you are actually divorced you should not. It only complicates things.


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## LonelyNLost (Dec 11, 2010)

I agree with the above posters. He's already with someone else. I heard the exact same line about finding the energy to try again and all and giving him time and space. And when I started discussing separation with him and terms I wrote, "No interacting with those of the opposite sex" and his reply was, "I'm not going out looking to date someone" with that vagueness that's easy to see looking back. 

You need to decide what you are willing to put up with and lay down the law. I know that seems impossible to do, as you are so afraid to do something wrong and "push him away" but he's already pulled away almost completely. Show him with words and actions that if he doesn't act now he's lost you because you aren't going to deal with it. Sitting around waiting for him to come to will spell the end of your marriage. It did in mine. He'll only draw closer to her and lose more respect for you because you are letting him keep you in his back pocket while he tests waters with someone else. You don't want your marriage to end, and it's hard to see now that doing what your doing will lead to that. IT takes a lot of courage to stand up for your marriage, but that's the only chance you've got. 

Tell him you won't wait around. Take your power back.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

My analyzation: he wants out and is trying to tell you that in a nice way.

Your response was too emotional. 

The next time he reaches out to you, tell him, You respect his decision and to take all the time he needs but there are no guarantees you'll be sticking around. Wish him the best and move on.


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## lafatherandhusband (Jul 21, 2010)

Jellybeans said:


> My analyzation: he wants out and is trying to tell you that in a nice way.
> 
> Your response was too emotional.
> 
> The next time he reaches out to you, tell him, You respect his decision and to take all the time he needs but there are no guarantees you'll be sticking around. Wish him the best and move on.



NC. give the texting a much needed break. you are just torturing yourself. put the phone in the drawer and turn on vibrate. or better yet - turn off the cellphone. you have a homephone, no? stop feeding his ego by essentially begging. bite the bullet and MOVE ON. life is way too short to waste on this BS. need inspiration? youtube the steve jobs commencement speech at stanford.....


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

lafatherandhusband said:


> stop feeding his ego by essentially begging. bite the bullet and MOVE ON.* life is way too short to waste on this BS*.


Pretty much.

I would be gone once someone told me they felt no "desire" for me. I would lose all desire for them. Ew.


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