# How to cope



## skinman (Nov 5, 2008)

Hello all,

Firts of I would like to say that i am recently seperated 11 days now since my wife asked me to move out. We have been having issue for a month or so when she dropped the bomb and said she no longer loved me and didn't want to be married. She asked for space and said we were on hold for 2 months while she thought through her feelings. she said at the time she didnt want me to leave or that she wasn't going to leave. I started counseling to help sort through some issues i was having in hope of saving my marriage.

well after a month or so off walking around on eggshells being afraid to talk with her or say something to set her off she finally snapped. I leaned down to kiss her and she turned her head I told her that that really hurt my feelings.. well the next thing I kow is she losing it she tells me to get out of the house that its over and she could never think of sleeping with me again. She said she wanted me out of her life and wanted her space. Well I have only had minimal contact in the 2 weeks since i left. When I moved most of my stuff she had it all waiting at the door for me.. I said wow looks like your trying to erase my memory from the house. she said i dont want you in my life anymore and yes everything that reminded her of me was given to me.

This has been the hardest thing I have ever done. I have loved my wife for close to 16 years we had so many plans that now dont seem will ever come true. The hardest part has been her indifference to my feelings like she has never loved me at all.. we had our problems but nothing major it was a total shock...

so my question is ... how do you go on ? I want so bad to try and reconcile but she said she wouldn't say one way or the other what she wanted to do..... do you think there's a chance ? or should I move on ?

thanks for all response's


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

Has she given you any indication as to why the sudden request for you to move out? What issues were you having?


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

as hard as this is. dont you ever need space. 
im going through the same thing at the moment. 
my head a bit messed up, going through the motions. 
that i simply want to be left alone to my own devices.
fed up of feeling confined within a relationship.
sometimes its just not enough to be wanting space and be with 
a person in the same house. thats why i think she asked for the move out.
but it doesnt have to mean the end.
just give things some time and for yourself also.
go out with some mates. 
there is no time restriction on things like this.
dont give up at the first hurdle.


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## Honey (Sep 2, 2008)

swedish said:


> Has she given you any indication as to why the sudden request for you to move out? What issues were you having?


Yes, need more to base it on. If "both" are willing to try to save their marriage.. work hard on it..put your heart and soul into it..
then you will have a better chance of saving it. If only one side is willing to even give it a try, then I would say move on. 

Marriage is a lot of give and take, because you will NEVER change the person 100% to your liking, but if you love that person with all your heart..meet that person half way atleast. 
Marriage is a 2 way street. Never go down the 1 way street..it will lead to a dead end. Always talk to your partner and never go to bed mad at each other. More so, if you're horny as hell, you won't get any.  Ok, so I joke too much, but you guys really like it, don't ya? :rofl:


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## skinman (Nov 5, 2008)

Honey said:


> Yes, need more to base it on. If "both" are willing to try to save their marriage.. work hard on it..put your heart and soul into it..
> then you will have a better chance of saving it. If only one side is willing to even give it a try, then I would say move on.
> 
> Marriage is a lot of give and take, because you will NEVER change the person 100% to your liking, but if you love that person with all your heart..meet that person half way atleast.
> Marriage is a 2 way street. Never go down the 1 way street..it will lead to a dead end. Always talk to your partner and never go to bed mad at each other. More so, if you're horny as hell, you won't get any.  Ok, so I joke too much, but you guys really like it, don't ya? :rofl:


Thanks,
at this point I seem to be the only one who wants to save it. She told me she wanted to find someone that she had the same interests with. I dont know I am so confused at this point. I have only talked with her a few times since the move and each time she asks personal questions about my counseling to see if im still going and is usually friendly when we speak but thats about it. I am doing a lot of things to better myself I have joined a mens prayer group and a support group for people going through seperations and divorces. Its so hard though thinking back a couple months ago we were making so many plans for the future. Now I live on the other side of town and dont see my girls each night. I am trying to remain strong but thoughts of her and my family haunt me by the minute.


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## skinman (Nov 5, 2008)

justean said:


> as hard as this is. dont you ever need space.
> im going through the same thing at the moment.
> my head a bit messed up, going through the motions.
> that i simply want to be left alone to my own devices.
> ...


Thank you I have tried to remain strong and I will keep faith that things might work out in the future. Who knows this might make our relationship stronger or me realize that we are better off apart.

peace !


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## skinman (Nov 5, 2008)

mommy22 said:


> *She told me she wanted to find someone that she had the same interests with. *
> 
> Have you asked her if there's already someone else? Have you asked the reason behind why she's done this? (asking you to leave)
> 
> ...


yes I asked her and she said there was no one else. Said she didnt need a man in her life and didnt want one now. She said she grew tired of trying to change me and fighting for the marriage. honestly i think she might be having a mid life crisis.
right before we split she was going to get 30,000$ wort of plastic surgery to help her self esteem.. I was all for it if it would help her but glad that we never went through with it..

I still have hope.. I do love her and I'm trying to be the best person I can if she see's that great if not her loss...

thanks for your response..


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