# Is he to be trusted?



## DameEdna (Aug 26, 2009)

Well I would say no, because I don't fully trust him anyway! But we've been married a long time and enjoy the luxuries of life, and we get along pretty well most of the time. 

Lately if ever I go out with friends, he decides to have a night out too. He's never done that before, so I'm suspicious. It could be that he's fed up of being Billy No Mates (he is a bit of loner) and wants to socialise like me (who is also generally a bit of a Billy No Mates too) 

I'm not 100% happy in this marriage, but I grin + bear it for the most part.


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

He's doing what you are doing. Are you to be trusted?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Why would you think you can't trust him?

Sorry don't know your back story ... have their been infidelity in the past? Or other dodgy doings?


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## verpin zal (Feb 23, 2013)

I'm no woman but your OP begs the question - 

Do you want him to stay home and watch some movie while you're out "enjoying luxuries of life"?

If so, then there WILL be a great disturbance in the Force. Originating from his Force signature, towards you.


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## althea0212 (Apr 6, 2013)

Our spouse also need a space once in a while. I also spend some time with my friends but I tell my husband where I am and the people I am with so I expect him to do the same. He spends time with his friends too. We don't expect to be with each other in everything we do. If he doesn't like the movies I want to see, I allow him to see a movie by himself, with the children or with his co-workers. We just give each other some space with the assurance that there are boundaries will be maintained.


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## DameEdna (Aug 26, 2009)

waiwera said:


> Why would you think you can't trust him?
> 
> Sorry don't know your back story ... have their been infidelity in the past? Or other dodgy doings?


The internet killed a piece of our marriage long ago, so yeah there has been "dodgy doings" by both of us in the past.

There was a time he'd love being home alone(or at least with the kids) all evening so he could do whatever it was he did online....

I hold my hands up, there was a time, years ago that I could not be trusted either. But these days he knows where I am cos he drops me off at these places

I guess it's a case of bringing the trust back and accepting that my once unsociable loner of a hubby is now getting a life away from the four walls.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

What's good for the goose......
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

So it's ok if you go out but if he gets a life/friends of his own, you are upset/disappointed?

::scratches head in confusion::


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## Thoreau (Nov 12, 2012)

Just because he drops you off doesnt mean there arent nefarious activities occuring. Is there more to this story?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DameEdna (Aug 26, 2009)

Thoreau said:


> Just because he drops you off doesnt mean there arent nefarious activities occuring. Is there more to this story?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


More to the story?:scratchhead: Like what?
Well yes, you're right, just because he drops me off, it's no proof that I'm being "good!" But I am being good, I'm usually meeting regular girl friends for meals or coffee. I've been "bad" in the past and ended up feeling depressed and guilty, so would rather remain on the straight and narrow these days


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## Ellie5 (Mar 12, 2013)

Do you go out together as much as seeing your own respective chums?


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

DameEdna said:


> More to the story?:scratchhead: Like what?
> Well yes, you're right, just because he drops me off, it's no proof that I'm being "good!" But I am being good, I'm usually meeting regular girl friends for meals or coffee. I've been "bad" in the past and ended up feeling depressed and guilty, so would rather remain on the straight and narrow these days


We don't really have enough details to understand what you're worried about. From the few details you've given, it sounds like you've been unfaithful in some way in the past, he's trusting you to go out with your friends without reservation. 

For some reason, you're projecting mistrust on him for your past behavior?


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