# He misses his family, but does that mean he misses me as his wife?



## stillhoping

I stopped communicating with my ex-H about a month ago, no texts, no email, etc. He went away on a overseas vacation, then the night he came home, he came to our home looking for my son or I. He called me that night, asked me to have coffee or something with him because he misses his family. I said but does that mean you miss me, he said, well you are my family too. I told him in a subsequent conversation that I needed him to think about what he wanted, only get me involved with this if he wants me as his wife again. Once he knows that, we can spend time together to see if we can work out the details. Doesn't that make sense? My therapist said that it is for him to work out. In the meantime I am going absolutely crazy, got so hopeful, but then we spent one day together and then nothing, just regular old communication, about chores and the kids. I was doing so great, not communicating.


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## sadwithouthim

stillhoping said:


> I stopped communicating with my ex-H about a month ago, no texts, no email, etc. He went away on a overseas vacation, then the night he came home, he came to our home looking for my son or I. He called me that night, asked me to have coffee or something with him because he misses his family. I said but does that mean you miss me, he said, well you are my family too. I told him in a subsequent conversation that I needed him to think about what he wanted, only get me involved with this if he wants me as his wife again. Once he knows that, we can spend time together to see if we can work out the details. Doesn't that make sense? My therapist said that it is for him to work out. In the meantime I am going absolutely crazy, got so hopeful, but then we spent one day together and then nothing, just regular old communication, about chores and the kids. I was doing so great, not communicating.


Sounds like he is checking in to see what is up with you providing NC for the past month. Playing with your buttons a bit. I think you should follow what you told him about don't get you envolved unless he wants you to be his wife and stick a little longer with the NC. Obvously it is stirring some emotions up in him. 

Someone told me once to not get my hopes up from what my husband says but wait until you actually see it with actions.


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## stillhoping

so hard to do, but so important to act on. I am giving it my best try. Have been doing the NC since this weekend.


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## sadwithouthim

stillhoping said:


> so hard to do, but so important to act on. I am giving it my best try. Have been doing the NC since this weekend.


I know it is. I struggle with this. Do the 180 without being mean though. In other words no use being nasty with things if you are hoping for R.

Hang in there.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BeachGuy

stillhoping said:


> I said but does that mean you miss me, he said, well you are my family too.


That says a lot. He dodged your question. Continue the NC.

When I separated for several months, I missed my "family" a lot too as time went by. My house, my kids, my dog, my "stuff". So I went back home. Turns out I didn't miss her.


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## stillhoping

Beachguy, where were you last week when I needed someone to knock me in the head. That does say it all. Back to where I was, making it on my own


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