# Problem with other BS



## strongsad (Mar 2, 2013)

The BS of the OM i exposed yesterday is causing me some problems now. I didn't plan on giving her any more information that what was in the letter, but i wound up telling her my last name in her brigade of questions following me giving her the letter.

Now she found my wifes work and phone number, and is wanting to confront her face to face to find out if the letter is real or not because her husband is denying it(of course). He went from denying everything to agreeing that they talked but it never went anywhere, now the BS thinks we are just trying to destroy their lives or something. She wants evidence that i don't have, and she wont accept that. The OM called me earlier raging about how i need to come see him and call him a liar to his face, i told him he is a liar, but i have no need to see him. I worry that he will come to my house and try something stupid, or the BS will go to my wife's work and get her fired.

I tried telling her that she needs to get the answers from him and to make him take a polygraph, but she believes this is all my wife's fault so she needs to fix it. We cant lose our main source of income, What the heck do i do about this?


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## LetDownNTX (Oct 4, 2012)

Make your wife put on her big girl panties and take what she deserves. Let her tell the wife what happened.The husband is going to lie until there is enough proof that the wife realizes he is lying to cover his own behind!


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## strongsad (Mar 2, 2013)

She needs to get those answers from her husband for her to believe it. Her hearing it from my wife will be no different than hearing it from me i would think. I gave her all the information i have, so there is nothing more to tell her.


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## LetDownNTX (Oct 4, 2012)

strongsad said:


> She needs to get those answers from her husband for her to believe it. Her hearing it from my wife will be no different than hearing it from me i would think. I gave her all the information i have, so there is nothing more to tell her.


I understand where you're coming from, she does need to get those from her husband but if he is adamantly denying it then who is to say that you and your wife arent just some kind of homewreckers? (I know, I know..you're not but in her mind if she's got this man telling her its all lies she has to wonder). Do you really think it would hurt for your wife to have a phone conversation with her on speaker phone with you there? Maybe she could tell her SOMETHING that would make the wife realize that its not a lie?


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## Cabsy (Mar 25, 2013)

You don't think hearing it from your wife, the person who actually did those things with her husband, might help things sink in a bit? It won't make her ask new questions in new ways to make her husband squirm? Won't poke holes in his story or instill further doubt? I disagree. She's still taking the husband as a credible source, and anything that helps her see past her innate trust for him and her own desire for it not to be true is a good thing. Maybe he's really good at manipulating her or she's really gullible, but I can still see how a letter from a stranger < your loving and devoted husband's word (hah).

Be careful with any confrontation in-person, but I kind of agree with letdown. Maybe it won't be the worst thing in the world for your wife to help confirm the truth. Maybe she should submit to some form of contact, deal with the problems her actions created, and help this woman accept her husband is a liar and a cheat.


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

In our case, after I exposed to his wife, the OM initially denied everything, until my wife spoke with his via FB and provided the kinds of details that one would only know if what she was claiming were true. Even at that, he still tried soon control...tried to claim they "only" engaged in mutual masturbation. Fortunately, OMW said that he had a habit of cheating, and this was the last straw. I guess it finally took someone standing up and saying, "Here's what happened" rather than just hearing him spin things.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

I agree w letdown & everyone else. Have your wife call the bw and reveal all. On speakerphone. After the convo tell them not to call you or your wife again or you will file harrassment charges on them both. 

Tell them that if he shows up at your house or her work the police will be called and charges filed.


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## Chris989 (Jul 3, 2012)

I exposed to the om's gf much to the horror of my ex wife. I think she ignored it. If you exposed your job is done. If she is too stupid to believe you, that's her problem.


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## LetDownNTX (Oct 4, 2012)

I can assure you that if the OW in my case would have talked to me at any given time and told me probably even half of what I dont know I would be looking at my WH through different eyes.


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## Count of Monte Cristo (Mar 21, 2012)

If you're concerned about OMW going to your wife's place of employment then you might want to have your wife take out a restraining order against her.

She might also want to let her workplace know in advance that this woman might try to cause trouble.

While you're at it, take out one against the OM.

That way when you give him the ass-kicking of his life the cops will know that it was provoked.

Better safe than sorry.


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## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

strongsad said:


> The BS of the OM i exposed yesterday is causing me some problems now. I didn't plan on giving her any more information that what was in the letter, but i wound up telling her my last name in her brigade of questions following me giving her the letter.
> 
> Now she found my wifes work and phone number, and is wanting to confront her face to face to find out if the letter is real or not because her husband is denying it(of course). He went from denying everything to agreeing that they talked but it never went anywhere, now the BS thinks we are just trying to destroy their lives or something. She wants evidence that i don't have, and she wont accept that. The OM called me earlier raging about how i need to come see him and call him a liar to his face, i told him he is a liar, but i have no need to see him. I worry that he will come to my house and try something stupid, or the BS will go to my wife's work and get her fired.
> 
> I tried telling her that she needs to get the answers from him and to make him take a polygraph, but she believes this is all my wife's fault so she needs to fix it. We cant lose our main source of income, What the heck do i do about this?


Call her and send her here.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

Chris989 said:


> If you exposed your job is done. If she is too stupid to believe you, that's her problem.


Some unknown person just turned your life upside down and your spouse, who you are supposed to support, says it isn't true. Then the WS puts on this big production by saying "come fight me, call me a liar to my face" and the AP's spouse backs off. Then the betrayed spouse asks to talk with the AP, to see if their is more and the unknowns balks again. It is rationalization and fear not stupidity IMO.

Strongsad this isn't me attacking you, but just showing a way that someone can dismiss obvious proof.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Let your wife face the angry OMW. It's a great lesson in humility.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

LetDownNTX said:


> Make your wife put on her big girl panties and take what she deserves. Let her tell the wife what happened.The husband is going to lie until there is enough proof that the wife realizes he is lying to cover his own behind!


I agree with this 1,000%.

She screwed him, she answers for it.

There are consequences to our actions.


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## BWBill (Jan 30, 2013)

Let your wife talk to her. Let her see the damage she has caused to others and see what a lying POS her OM is.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

strongsad said:


> She needs to get those answers from her husband for her to believe it. Her hearing it from my wife will be no different than hearing it from me i would think. I gave her all the information i have, so there is nothing more to tell her.


The other BS doesn't want to believe it happened and wants to believe her husband

I also think your wife needs to step up and meet the BS in an open place with you there and confess to what she was a part of

Contrition can be good for the sole
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)

Not to say I told you so but this is why you really shouldn't expose without evidence. It just turns into a "he said, she said". Cheaters more often than not are only going to admit to what can be proven.

Although it might not be a bad idea to have your wife meet her with you present. I know you say she's been doing heavy lifting but it really doesn't sound like she's faced any real consequences. This would be a start.


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## strongsad (Mar 2, 2013)

Strongsad's WW here. I sent her a very long detailed message via facebook. I am not against confronting her, but honestly everything we have tried to help her with up to this point has gotten us nowhere. She keeps threatening to go to my work or take legal action against us for slander or something. We don't really have evidence, working on it though. In the message, I tried to mention things that only I could know and some of his actions that would explain some things to her. Right now, she doesn't want to confront me to get answers (that we don't have), she wants to confront me to tell me I'm wrong and to cause a scene. Which I deserve, but to my husband and I, we really don't see a point in that. Maybe when she has came out of the fog a little and has gotten some evidence and understands that we didn't do this just to torture her. We have suggested a polygraph numerous times and told her that we have given her all of the information we have. But she continues to text us and tell us that I'm obsessed with her WH and I'm just trying to ruin their lives. It truly seems that nothing we do at this point will help anything. I sent her the letter, we will see how that goes. I should also mention that she doesn't just want to meet with me, she wants my BH to confront her WH. My BH is not comfortable with that, and rightfully so. But if he decides he wants to, I will. I'm not against that, but right now, it seems that would just escalate things further. I don't know, any advice is appreciated.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Advice:

Realize: She actually does very much believe you or she woud have let it go. She doesn't want it to be true, but she does believe you.

To SS wandering wife: Tell her you do not care one way of another if she believes you. That you have your own problem to take care of, that your having sex with her guy has pretty much cost you your marriage and family. Her being told was a courtesy and you don't care one way or another what she does with the info. You are too busy trying not to have SS diviorce you with just cause,

Also to SS wife: advice - don't you even once blame SS for this situation that you entirely created. If she does come to your work, that is something that has come about entirely because you and the OM chose to cheat.


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## jim123 (Sep 29, 2012)

strongsad said:


> Strongsad's WW here. I sent her a very long detailed message via facebook. I am not against confronting her, but honestly everything we have tried to help her with up to this point has gotten us nowhere. She keeps threatening to go to my work or take legal action against us for slander or something. We don't really have evidence, working on it though. In the message, I tried to mention things that only I could know and some of his actions that would explain some things to her. Right now, she doesn't want to confront me to get answers (that we don't have), she wants to confront me to tell me I'm wrong and to cause a scene. Which I deserve, but to my husband and I, we really don't see a point in that. Maybe when she has came out of the fog a little and has gotten some evidence and understands that we didn't do this just to torture her. We have suggested a polygraph numerous times and told her that we have given her all of the information we have. But she continues to text us and tell us that I'm obsessed with her WH and I'm just trying to ruin their lives. It truly seems that nothing we do at this point will help anything. I sent her the letter, we will see how that goes. I should also mention that she doesn't just want to meet with me, she wants my BH to confront her WH. My BH is not comfortable with that, and rightfully so. But if he decides he wants to, I will. I'm not against that, but right now, it seems that would just escalate things further. I don't know, any advice is appreciated.


Do not play. See an attorney and go to the police station and get an order of protecion asap.

When you bottom feed for sex these are the type of people you get.

These men had no respect for you and even less for your husband. 

The order of protection may back them off.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

To the both of you: 
You have given her the information. One more threat and the both of you should seek a restraining order.


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

Tell her exactly what Shaggy told you to tell her thrn block her number and block her on fb.

Be prepared to follow through with a TRO


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

Strongsad, and wife---you got enuff trouble already, you gave the Other Wife, your info---that's it---delete her---go dark on her

If she wanted to, cuz, of what you, strongsad's wife has done---the other wife could bring a suit agst you for Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress, to her, and any kids she has-----so get the he*l out of Dodge, and stay out., do not give the other wife anymore ammunition, or evidence.

Unfortunately, when one cheats, with married people---no one knows what the full repercussions of that cheating is going to be,---what strongsad's wife has done is to make a mess of all of their lives, now and very possibly into the future------

From now on work on your own problems, and stay out of everyone else's life.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

strongsad said:


> she wants my BH to confront her WH. My BH is not comfortable with that, and rightfully so.


I wouldn't meet with that lying do***b*g. You guys were caught, you made your admission, your husband blew up the affair and the idiot AP wants vengeance. Nope. People end up dead or in jail over things of this ilk.


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## strongsad (Mar 2, 2013)

Strongsad back here, she posted that while I was working and told me afterwards, its reassuring that she is comfortable with posting on here though, she hasn't made her own account. 

She forwarded me a copy of the letter as well, it was apologetic, sincere, honest, and I think it was a good apology letter to the OMW and did include more personal details about him that may help her believe it's real. I told her several times that neither of us really care if she believes me, I just did what I know I would want done for me if the tables were turned. She has not attempted any contact since ww sent her the letter. If anything continues I will file a police report, and notify them we will be getting restraining orders.

Dealing with all this with what I already have is kinda crap honestly, giving her my last name was stupid, it just slipped out. I saw that pain in her face and I couldn't just walk away and say no and now I regret it. I do hope that letter opens her eyes, but I won't continue to deal with this. And your right philly, if I confronted the om I don't think it would be pretty, I'm still pretty damn angry inside, even if he wasn't I don't know if I could control myself that well and I don't want to go to jail, I have a perfect record.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GROUNDPOUNDER (Mar 8, 2013)

strongsad said:


> Strongsad's WW here. I sent her a very long detailed message via facebook. I am not against confronting her, but honestly everything we have tried to help her with up to this point has gotten us nowhere. She keeps threatening to go to my work or take legal action against us for slander or something. We don't really have evidence, working on it though. In the message, I tried to mention things that only I could know and some of his actions that would explain some things to her. Right now, she doesn't want to confront me to get answers (that we don't have), she wants to confront me to tell me I'm wrong and to cause a scene. Which I deserve, but to my husband and I, we really don't see a point in that. Maybe when she has came out of the fog a little and has gotten some evidence and understands that we didn't do this just to torture her. We have suggested a polygraph numerous times and told her that we have given her all of the information we have. But she continues to text us and tell us that I'm obsessed with her WH and I'm just trying to ruin their lives. It truly seems that nothing we do at this point will help anything. I sent her the letter, we will see how that goes. I should also mention that she doesn't just want to meet with me, she wants my BH to confront her WH. My BH is not comfortable with that, and rightfully so. But if he decides he wants to, I will. I'm not against that, but right now, it seems that would just escalate things further. I don't know, any advice is appreciated.


This post should be required reading for anyone thinking of having an affair. We have a WS that's showing sincere remorse for what she has done and want's to R. A BS that's been through the hell that many of us know sooo well and want's to R. He does the right thing and exposes to the OMW. His WS helps him do this. What could possibly go wrong...

And now they have to deal with a seemingly whacked out OMW and OM that aren't going to go away with out a fight, or at least that easily. Kind of makes you second guess having that affair, don't it...

Thank you strongsad's wife for having the courage to post here and thank you strongsad for letting her post to your thread.

Take care.


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

Why did you and your wife send a letter to the other wife---all you have now done---is admit in writing that you have destroyed her mge/life/kids lives------you need to wake up---the other wife hasn't done anything at this point that is gonna get a judge to post a RO---but your wife---has certainly given the other wife---all she needs if she wants to go to court agst your wife-----what is it that you didn't understand about---go dark, and get the he*l out of dodge??????


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## cledus_snow (Feb 19, 2012)

i'd give her what she wants. meet with her in a public place and tell her EVERYTHING. tell her to look through phone records. she'll see the numbers being called and the amount of times. you corroborate with your own records.

you make it clear to her that this will be the last time you will ever engage her in a conversation and/or meeting, otherwise you will take legal action.


i don't understand why she'd get your wife fired, unless she works with the AP. the woman would look like a complete psycho coming in and causing a scene. she'd be the one hauled off to the clinker, not your wife.


as for the slander, she needs to prove that her husband's reputation and community standing has been damaged for her to even think about suing you. since her husband hasn't been affected by this, she has no legal recourse.


as to your wife, i hope she learned her lesson and should consider herself extremely lucky because not very many people, especially men, would put up with such BS. personally, i'd kick her ass to the curb- being as how she blatantly disrespected you and your marriage -but that's just me.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

jnj express said:


> Why did you and your wife send a letter to the other wife---all you have now done---is admit in writing that you have destroyed her mge/life/kids lives------you need to wake upe---all she needs if she wants to go to court agst your wife-----


Uhmmm, the OMW had all of the proof she needed BEFORE his wife wrote a letter. Her wife just added PROOF of personal details. If the wife actually sued, if her state allows that type of procedure, her admission alone is enough.


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

cledus_snow said:


> as for the slander, she needs to prove that her husband's reputation and community standing has been damaged for her to even think about suing you. since her husband hasn't been affected by this, she has no legal recourse.


Not to mention, there's also the old saw that truth is a 100% defense against slander. OM's reputation and standing may have been damaged...but if all that has been said is true, there's no leg to stand on as far as supposed slander.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

Were not talking slander, or alienation---were talking INTERNTIONAL INFLICTION OF EMOTIONAL DISTRESS------and believe me, in every instance---every cheating spouse meets all the elements of the tort---

the suit just has to be filed------those who doubt/question look it up, and check the elements


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## cledus_snow (Feb 19, 2012)

I hear you jnj, but any lawyer would advise against such a suit because it's so hard to prove damages. unless he's lost his job, there's not much to go on. there has to be viable evidence of the hardship resulting in exposure.

at any rate, what Grayson posted is right on. you can't argue with the truth.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

jnj express said:


> Were not talking slander, or alienation---were talking INTERNTIONAL INFLICTION OF EMOTIONAL DISTRESS------and believe me, in every instance---every cheating spouse meets all the elements of the tort---
> 
> the suit just has to be filed------those who doubt/question look it up, and check the elements


If you could sue for that then every BS could due the AP for duress.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

This OM is just roaring at SS to try to intimidate him & he wants his W to interpret the roaring as proof that SS and his WW are lying. He's trying to smack him down to shut him up and convince his W. He knows the truth, though, and that any real evidence will sink him, so it's a calculated risk. He would never take this as far as a lawsuit, in my opinion. It's bluffing to cover his a*s.

SS, keep doing what you're doing. You've given the OMW the information. Believe me there is trouble in their home because of it even if he's convincing her that it's a lie. You've done your exposure. If he keeps threatening, talk to the police. I can't imagine that he will risk anything serious given that the truth will set him free in a way that he doesn't want.


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## underwater2010 (Jun 27, 2012)

Have your wife call her and confirm everything. I am sorry but this is part of the fallout from your wife's actions.

Can I ask how you even came to find out about the affair? Just so you know you should forward any and all evidence. I did.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

So you exposed your wife to the OM's wife and you are shocked that she is angry and hurting and not acting very rationally. You have a plan B worked out?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

strongsad said:


> The BS of the OM i exposed yesterday is causing me some problems now. I didn't plan on giving her any more information that what was in the letter, but i wound up telling her my last name in her brigade of questions following me giving her the letter.
> 
> Now she found my wifes work and phone number, and is wanting to confront her face to face to find out if the letter is real or not because her husband is denying it(of course). He went from denying everything to agreeing that they talked but it never went anywhere, now the BS thinks we are just trying to destroy their lives or something. She wants evidence that i don't have, and she wont accept that. The OM called me earlier raging about how i need to come see him and call him a liar to his face, i told him he is a liar, but i have no need to see him. I worry that he will come to my house and try something stupid, or the BS will go to my wife's work and get her fired.
> 
> I tried telling her that she needs to get the answers from him and to make him take a polygraph, but she believes this is all my wife's fault so she needs to fix it. We cant lose our main source of income, What the heck do i do about this?


Strongsad - when i twice contacted the OM's wife she ignored me. In my last text to her I passed on a peace of information that must have hit her hard. I said to her - "if you doubt my authenticity then ask yourself how a complete stranger knows that you ere out of town on these dates ...............". No response. If you have info about her that only her and her husband would know then let it fly! Good luck


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## PastOM (Apr 12, 2013)

jnj express said:


> Were not talking slander, or alienation---were talking INTERNTIONAL INFLICTION OF EMOTIONAL DISTRESS------and believe me, in every instance---every cheating spouse meets all the elements of the tort---
> 
> the suit just has to be filed------those who doubt/question look it up, and check the elements


This is a fair point, but unlikely to succeed on these facts. The elements of Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress (IIED) require that "defendant’s conduct was extreme and outrageous." This is the hardest element to meet in this situation.

As said earlier - if the elements were so easily met, every BS would have a case. Unfortunately, given that the courts have abolished offenses against the marriage, the new common law standards require that actions toward the plaintiff (BS) need to be extremely outrageous. 

This means that "normal" affairs and the resulting conduct does not raise to that level. There would have to be additional facts here that show the OM or OMW did something REALLY outrageous to BS.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

I believe that telling the other spouse is simply more often revenge than any other reason. In most cases its to punish the perp and stirs up a hornets' nest in the other household. Wasn't that what you wanted to do? Like everything else in life, you choose the action, you choose the consequences. 
Tell this guy's wife that your old lady will take a polygraph. If she fails, you'll pay for it. If she passes, you'll pay for it. Looking at it for a "trial by a jury of peers", if you don't have at least a preponderance of the evidence, it's your wife' word against his.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Many newbies think that, that it's done for revenge. It is not. If the affair is ongoing, it's done to get the other BS in on the news so they can fight the affair from their side, too. If the affair is over, it's done so the other BS can live his/her life with the same information the other spouse has, and determine whether he/she wants to continue living with a cheater.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

ThePheonix said:


> I believe that telling the other spouse is simply more often revenge than any other reason. In most cases its to punish the perp and stirs up a hornets' nest in the other household. Wasn't that what you wanted to do? Like everything else in life, you choose the action, you choose the consequences.


The best way to end contact is to inform everyone. You can't take it further underground, as MANY spouses do, if the other betrayed partner understands what is going on.
He found the one that has a severe case of the rug sweeps. 
In most cases I've seen there are basically variations of two outcomes:
1) Wayward Spouse leaves.
2) Wayward Spouse freaks out and tries to save marriage.

Now there are multiple scenarios, but ALL show the BS where they stand. You either know you are or aren't a priority to your wayward spouse.



> Tell this guy's wife that your old lady will take a polygraph. If she fails, you'll pay for it. If she passes, you'll pay for it. Looking at it for a "trial by a jury of peers", if you don't have at least a preponderance of the evidence, it's your wife' word against his.


Nope. He doesn't need to offer her anything. He did his due diligence why pay for more?
Let her catch an STD, Child support case or hate them for the rest of her life.


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

Ah yes---good old "extreme and outrageous"---who knows what extreme and outrageous actually are----could it be as in one of the posters here, right now---where his wife has had multiple men having sex with her, IN HIS OWN MARITAL BED---is that extreme enuff for you----or where a spouse has had an on-going long term A, for much of the period of time of the time the mge was in existence-----or where the spouse and their lover make a child, or where a spouse leaves the mge, lives with their AP for a period of time, until reality sets in, the A., blows up, and the spouse wants to return to the family---are those examples outrageous enuff for you

You present your case---and the TRIER OF FACT, will decide what is extreme and outrageous

I agree there are many situations that do not fit IIED---but there are those that do

Yes it is costly to file a civil action---but there are ways of scaring the crap out of the AP, using IIED, to that effect---IIED is a legit action, that can be brought anywhere---unlike Alienation, and Crim Conversation, that can only be brought in 7 states-----these are just tools and weapons for a betrayed spouse to use if he/she wants them.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

phillybeffandswiss said:


> The best way to end contact is to inform everyone. You can't take it further underground, as MANY spouses do, if the other betrayed partner understands what is going on.
> 
> Nope. He doesn't need to offer her anything. He did his due diligence why pay for more?
> Let her catch an STD, Child support case or hate them for the rest of her life.


First, I feel that if the only way you can stop your wife from seeing the other guy is to make it painful for him to see her, what's the use. If she's that hung up on what the other guy offers, who need that. I personally will never knowingly be second fiddle. My recommendation is really to ditch her. She can never be trusted again. 

Second, I agree he should pay for the poly and send her the results. 

Third, when you open Pandora's box, you never know what's going to come out. Like a lot of thing, "exposure" can go south quickly. An attorney from my area and another man are dead after the guys ex-wife called the attorney to reveal that he was seeing the attorney's estranged wife. When you cheat you risk the consequences of your actions. Likewise, the person exposing the activities should be prepared to live with the consequences. In both the above, as well as many other case, you do it at your own risk. 
Like it or not, it looks like Strongsad's actions are coming back to haunt him.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

ThePheonix said:


> First, I feel that if the only way you can stop your wife from seeing the other guy is to make it painful for him to see her, what's the use. If she's that hung up on what the other guy offers, who need that. I personally will never knowingly be second fiddle. My recommendation is really to ditch her. She can never be trusted again.


Yet, there are people who reconcile with promiscuous spouses that have multiple sex partners. If a couple wants to reconcile, as people have been really screaming of late, this is an option that you may have to do. Attack the source not one of many remedies. 

People die period and the Pandora's box is the affair not the aftermath. 

You want to blame the "outing" go ahead. I'll blame the wife and OM for creating this entire situation that led to our disagreement.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

phillybeffandswiss said:


> You want to blame the "outing" go ahead. I'll blame the wife and OM for creating this entire situation that led to our disagreement.


Am not blaming the outing per se. Im saying that when you decide to "go public" be prepared to deal with issues that can occur. Strong's case is an example of one that appears to have gone south. 
Take my word for it; Strong can be sued for slander if this guy can prove that the statement was false, that it caused him harm and that the statement was made without adequate research. By Strong's own admission, he doesn't have verifiable evidence. The weak link in the other guy's chain is proving the statement is false. (this is only my opinion based on limited information and should not be construed as legal advice )


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## strongsad (Mar 2, 2013)

She never did anything in our bed, or house. She went to their house/car/hotel, just so the story is straight. 
They haven't tried to contact either of us recently, got a call 3 days ago from her sister, threatening me, so i filed a police report. After I told them i would be contacting the police everything stopped. I don't think that they plan on suing, she just wants to know the truth. I handed a very sincere letter to the BS, and answered some of her questions. I didnt expose to his work, and they dont have any children together. If a lawyer looked at the letter i wrote her, the letter WW wrote her, and the texts back and forth he would tell her to polygraph test him before accusing me of anything.

I still dont have any concrete evidence on her affairs with this OM, but i do have some evidence now. Recovering deleted text message fragments from her new phone she got in February. She stopped meeting people in December for some reason, but continued talking until dday so i was able to get some evidence from other AP. Evidence i may need when exposing the final OM that lived a couple hours away in another state. 

Final OM is different. Found him, and a lot of strange information. He told WW he had multiple women, and was worried about me being able to find out, said that he 'cant have someone finding out because of his kids and stuff' found that in the deleted text fragments. I also now know that he is as old as my father, which makes all this that much more disgusting and terrible. It disgusts WW as well. 45 and married with 3 kids, big figure in his community, has a doctorate, But he has 6 different alias' in public records, also has a PO box and is associated with 2 other addresses an hour away from where he lives (also happens to be the same town where he met up with WW). Looks like this guy has been doing this or something like this for a long time.

I still haven't decided how i will go about the exposure this time but i know i want to include some sort of evidence and i want NO traces back to me, more like how i did the 1st exposure. But i will expose, i wont die knowing i let some scumbag continue to cheat on his wife only because i didn't tell her. On top of that, I want him to know that he is busted, that he wasn't as smart and sneaky as he thought, and that he cant get away with being such a terrible person.

Also, if i pay for a polygraph test, It will be for me, not some other BS. If she wants to know so bad she will have to polygraph her own WS.


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## LetDownNTX (Oct 4, 2012)

strongsad said:


> I also now know that he is as old as my father, which makes all this that much more disgusting and terrible. It disgusts WW as well.


It disgusts her now because its beneficial to you and her marriage with you, Im sure she wasnt all that disgusted before you found out!


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

she is so disgusted that she had sex with him?


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## strongsad (Mar 2, 2013)

She thought he was in his 30s, but he is 45. Either way you are right, she quite obviously was not disgusted at the time.
But yea, I believe she should be disgusted now if her eyes are really opened. She is disgusted by the person she was period, that is why she wants to change. 

I believe i will send final BS a letter/Facebook message(from anonymous untraceable account) without too many details about the affair or any incrimination, just short and to the point, also with some links that i found to 'suspicious' things about her WH.
Still not set on how i will handle this one but something along those lines.


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

strongsad,

You never can know how a particular OMW's will react to exposure information. I know that from experience. I would have never thought it possible that the one I dealt with, who was best friends with my wife, would have reacted in the way she did.

Basically she deflected, denied, vilified me, and wanted to continue to be friends with my wife. In fact, she found out about the affair (she thought it was just an EA) weeks before I did and told me nothing. She carried on with my wife as if nothing had happened.

Once I found out and exposed the two year long PA to her, she continued to bury her head in the sand and wanted to stay friends with my wife; this despite: 

A phone call and an 8 page letter from me. 

3600 e-mail messages from her husband to my wife - all wrapped up and delivered to her on a thumb drive (she refused to acknowledge receiving them)

My wife's verbal and written confession to her.

She's obviously seriously messed up, co-dependent not only to the POS she's married to, but my wife as well. I actually had to take actions to make her stop the (friendly) communication. Talk about someone that gives you the creeps. 

Anyway my point is, that you can only do so much to expose. I just eventually had to accept that she's nuts, in complete denial, and get on with my life. 

You've given her enough information. That's all you need to do. Don't take any sh*t from her.


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## strongsad (Mar 2, 2013)

Well all that subsided, don't know what they did and dont care, but my blood still gets boiling sometimes when I think about OM calling and insulting/threatening me... that was before she told me he came clean so he was only trying to look innocent but I don't care. I know the ws is the guilty one as far as the A goes, but if I f*ed your wife then called you screaming and disrespecting you, wanting to fight, who would you be mad at? I'm ready, if I see him at minimum he's gettin a swift backhand. Maybe its just part of becoming more alpha or something but I really feel the need to stand up for myself here, what would you do? 

Also: finally exposed final om, contacted other bs at her work by payphone, emailed some evidence to her from fake email, he came clean and she was very thankful.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

strongsad said:


> Also: finally exposed final om, contacted other bs at her work by payphone, emailed some evidence to her from fake email, he came clean and she was very thankful.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Glad this one went well man.
Hanging there.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

The final OM was the father of 3 with multiple secret addresses?


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## strongsad (Mar 2, 2013)

alte Dame said:


> The final OM was the father of 3 with multiple secret addresses?


Yes, multiple children ( not exactly sure how many) and some phishy addresses in public records. Openly Told ww he had multiple women when they first met, probably been up to no good for a long time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

Good for you for exposing that POS. Guys like this should definitely be posted on a site like Cheaterville as well.

He is a menace to anyone else's marriage that he comes into contact with.

What a piece of trash.


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