# Any good book recommendations for cheating wife?



## Wolfgar (Nov 15, 2011)

My wife loves me, but she no longer wants to be with me, she wants to see what its like to be single and on her own...she wants the freedom and "excitement" it brings (she started acting like this after getting a job at a bar). She had a short 3 date affair to test her curiosity, she has since broke it off (didn't have sex, pretty much everything else) and I've had a hard time trying to make her realize the awful mistakes shes making, throwing away her marriage and family. Although she regrets the affair, she is still convinced her life would be better if she wasn't married to me. I have made every attempt to try and fix the problems that have caused this unhappiness, but it seems she has already made her mind and there's not much more I can do. 

Before all of this we were happy, she was in love with me... I just want her to snap out of it! She's changed, she's almost cold hearted/desensitized now...I just want the real her back, the women I fell in love with. 

Any advice? Any books I should suggest to her?

(concerning the affair or being with other men, I DO NOT believe this is the driving force behind her wanting to be single. Her motivation for wanting to end our marriage and be single is because she wants to be happy and doesn't think she can be with me...and she wants the freedom and excitement that comes with being single)


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Stop trying to educate her. The more you try the more she'll resist you and resent you. Let her go and file for divorce, if you are the primary caregiver then seek custody of your children. Even if you don't get physical custody, her life as a single mom will be far from the exciting one she envisions. The irony will be that you will have more time and chances to pursue fun activities than she will because she will have to deal with working to make a living and taking care of the kids without her free-of-charge babysitter, you. 

Have enough self respect to show her that you are going to be more than fine without her and just maybe she will stop to think if the single life is something that will bring her fulfillment.

I leave you with the following inspirational story



marduk said:


> I happened to be thinking today about the past year of my marriage. Everyone on these forums were so instrumental in my being in the great place I am today I thought I would post a note about where I was, where I am, and what I’ve learned.
> 
> A year ago my marriage was a mess. After 3 kids my stay at home wife spontaneously decided to start going out with her girlfriends again, including a “girls trip” to Vegas. She started a crazy fitness routine, including marathon running and triathalons. She started leaving me at home with the kids 2-3 evenings a week. A rough summer. I was insecure, controlling, alone, and afraid.
> 
> ...


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## Wolfgar (Nov 15, 2011)

morituri said:


> threw her arms around me, and told me she’s so happy she gets to come home to me


She used to come home and do the same thing to me just 2 months ago I guess I'm just having a hard time giving up on the women I love, especially when I feel like this isn't her. Thanks for the story, it is inspirational!


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Seangar said:


> She used to come home and do the same thing to me just 2 months ago I guess I'm just having a hard time giving up on the women I love, especially when I feel like this isn't her.


Letting go of the desire to control our unfaithful wives actions and feelings for us can be a very liberating experience. Marduk found that to be true by embracing the truth that only he can give himself the happiness he deserves. This caused his wife to pause and think that no matter what she did, he would be fine without her. Marduk is now so attractive to his wife that she is now terrified of losing him. Maybe you should consider following in his steps.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Not a book just a rolled up newspaper to swat her like a bad puppy.


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

Best way to get her back is too let her go.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

PMS is right. The harder you hold her, the more she slips through your fingers. She has romanticized single life. Divorce her, cut her off financially, expose to everyone. Everyone that comes on here (90%) initially believe by respecting themselves and keeping boundaries, they will drive the cheater away. When removing the fantasy is the way to wake them up.


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## Arnold (Oct 25, 2011)

Hawthorne's "The Scarlet Letter".

Aslo, she might like Vince Flynn or John Sandford's stuff(both Minnesotans).

Or ,maybe James Joyce, Camus, Sartre.

I like Steinbeck's stuff. 

"Martin Eden" , by Jack London.
Also liked Somesret Maughum(sp)'s "The Razor's Edge" and "Of Human Bondage". 
John Fowles, Bill Styron, very good.
Don't forget ****ens.
In general, I would recommend anything she can read on her own, away from you.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Your first sentence is wrong. She doesn't love you ,she's playing you. She's become a barfly, that's what they do.

Your part in this is letting her become a bartender, what were you thinking? Maybe you've never been in a bar?


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## YupItsMe (Sep 29, 2011)

No


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## Arnold (Oct 25, 2011)

chapparal said:


> Your first sentence is wrong. She doesn't love you ,she's playing you. She's become a barfly, that's what they do.
> 
> Your part in this is letting her become a bartender, what were you thinking? Maybe you've never been in a bar?


Bullcrap. "letting " her work in a bar had noting to do with it.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Life according to Garp. Just remind her to not say goodbye in the driveway.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Pit-of-my-stomach said:


> Best way to get her back is too let her go.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


´
Speaking of letting go



> I wish I could claim credit for this masterpiece but I can't. It belongs to very wise member from another website. It should be etched in the minds of every man and woman who has been the victim on infidelity.
> 
> _*Just Let Them Go*
> 
> ...


_ good life without them._


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)




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