# I think we got married for the wrong reason



## Hoffpauirlaurie (Nov 19, 2009)

Well to start things off I got married at 18, to my husband who was 20. We dated for two months and decided to get hitched and I am not to sure why, I think maybe we had lost our minds. Well we have had so many fights, three separtions but I got pregnant about 16 months ago and he was very distant for awhile and soon i found out he was taking out his ex on dates and confronted him and he told me he didnt love me anymore and he wanted me out of our apartment and he wanted a bloodtest and he he discussed abortion and gave me the money for it. At the time I was really close friends with his younger sister who had a friend pop-up who I became close to and cared for me while my husband was out with his friends and his ex but we still lived togeather. We begun to have a short affair for a few days but I stoped it and told my husband and he just turned even colder. I moved out 4 months pregnant after we had just renewed our vows only 3 months prior. Once my daughter was born he came to see her 2 weeks later. We slept togeather agian for a few weeks but the sex was all about him and he has never since aimed to please me or care for me. We decided to live togeather again but he is so distant and cold and never worries is I am happy, ever. I dont know what to do?


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

maybe youth and the sense of freedom is why you got married. after reading everything i've read on this site, i firmly believe the catcholics have it right (can't believe i just said that) with their pre-marital "engaged encounter."

a great gift we as adult could give to our youngsters approaching courtship years leading up to marriage is an open-ended gift certificate for couples counseling for our young ones who are considering marriage.

my point is, laurie, that whether you guys are right or wrong for each other, whatever, this would be a GREAT time to schedule some couples counseling, or individual counseling.

good luck. i care. really. i married early, the first time (ouch) and hurt another human with my immaturity.


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## outinthecold (Apr 30, 2009)

What does one say about this?


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## EternalBacheor (Jul 26, 2009)

outinthecold said:


> What does one say about this?


Nitwits and Dingbats should not be allowed to reproduce.

Noun
S:  dimwit, nitwit, half-wit, doofus (a stupid incompetent person) 

Noun
S:  dingbat, a silly empty-headed person.


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## Imlost (Nov 23, 2009)

Seriously Eternal, do you think your judgements and criticism help anyone?


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## cinnamorollin (Nov 20, 2009)

I really feel for you because I also married young and we are having similar problems. 

But no matter your age I think you two got married for the wrong reason. I mean...you don't even have a reason so that is a big clue right there. 

Just focus on yourself and your baby. I know it's easier said than done cuz I am having to do that right now, all the while living with my husband and it's very hard. 

You have a different situation though because your husband doesn't even act like he loves you. 

It's more confusing when you have a husband who treats you like a princess at home and leads the life of a single guy outside of the home. 

If you are both willing and you feel like it's worth it, try counseling. 

If he's not willing, just move on. You will survive and one day you could find someone to marry for the right reasons.


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