# I'm broken, feel like I'm losing my mind



## Jaded Heart (Jan 5, 2011)

H told me he is moving out ! I don't want this, he says he doesn't want us no more. I have a feeling that he has so much anger that he won't allow himself to love me. He says he doesn't but I know he does. I wonder if he is still having a EA and now he needs to move out .

I can't even think of him being with her I start to rage and I don't want to. 

I don't know what to do .............I can't stop shaking and crying and snapping at my kids


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

I'm sorry Jaded. What can you do to start taking care of YOU??


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## Jaded Heart (Jan 5, 2011)

I have no idea, I can't even stop shaking enough to take care of anything ! I'm so Effin angry at him , I hate him for doing this to me and my kids


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

I know honey. It probably makes it harder that he knows how you are feeling since he has been there too and still chose this same route. How would you feel about seeing your own IC so you can sort yourself out? Is he getting a seperation agreement done with a lawyer or anything?


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## Asking4Flowers (Mar 2, 2011)

When someone wants to leave the last thing you should do is beg them to stay. Maybe he is leaving because he did not feel appreciated so you can let him know that you would be open to working through your problems but keep your dignity. You may be devastated but try and stay strong. If you let him believe that you need him and will take him back no matter what then he won't be afraid of losing you.

For now you need to avoid thinking about him too much. Think about you and your kids. Find positive activities to do together and have some fun together. He is more likely to see that kind of woman one that is worth fighting for than a woman who allows depression and rage to infiltrate her world. Stay strong and focus on the positive in your life.


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## Jaded Heart (Jan 5, 2011)

Dawn, he doesn't want to do any of that ! 

I told him maybe he needs time away , maybe he needs to think ! Then maybe when he sees me going on with life with the kids and me changing maybe we can try then. He told me not to wait for him , which makes me think he has someone new already!


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## Trooper (Oct 21, 2010)

I feel so bad for you! That pain is undescribable and so devestating. That being said, you do need to try to focus on something positive to avoid falling deeper into depression. You have kids and are very fortunate to have them so try to focus on that. They are probably feeling bad too, so tell yourself to be strong for them. 

I also think that even if he does have someone waiting that you will be much more attractive to him if you appear strong and focused on getting on with your life. I have to ask if he does have someone else waiting, why do you want him? You need to think about that - could you ever trust him again if you did have him back? The pain you would endure may not be worth it. 

Go to individual counseling if you can, or even go to Borders or a large bookstore and look at the self-help books, there are many books on how to deal with the end of a relationship, how to deal with depression, etc. It won't change your life but it does help some. Time will also help, but I know that doesn't help much now. Try to think about this somewhat objectively and try to talk to friends or family about it also. Long-term you may actually be better off and you need to think rationally whether it's best to try to get him back or if you would actually be better dealing with the pain now but having a better life in the long run.


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

Jaded Heart...I'm so sorry this has happened. You seemed to know it was coming, though I know that doesn't help anything. I still think it has something to do with this SIL. I could be wrong. 

Have you even checked out the 180? If he's "foggy", it *might* help bring him in out of the fog. At the least it will help you maintain your sanity. And your dignity. Right now you're in extreme pain, and it might be hard to do. All the more reason to do it. At this point, you have nothing to lose. 

Please try to do some things that are good for you and the kids. They're hurting and confused as well. Get some fresh air and sunshine, it's good for the soul. Go try to have some fun with your kids, even though you don't feel like it. I remember feeling like wanting to just curl up in a ball and wish the world away the first time I left my ex. (notice I say the first time...there were many)

You have to maintain for the sake of your kids. For your own sake. You have to eat, and try to get some rest. Try to find something to take your mind off of all of this, even for a little bit. I do so know how hard that is. But you have to at least TRY. 

I'm hoping for the best for you, truly.


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