# big blow out-what do i do now



## oncehisangel (Oct 13, 2012)

So, there's a possibility my nine week separated partner is having and EA?PA with my sister-in-law. (my brothers wife)
Three weeks after he left, she wanted out of her marriage too.
My brother works away and has been sending letters and love from across the world, trying to salvage his dying marriage.

I am now at the stage where I'm not speaking to my brother or her.
Our last conversation was her telling me she had a 'connection' with my x...She meant it as friends of course. There has been lies her end -where she went to his brothers to visit him and he has been at her house having beer and pizza before she left for a few days away. 

I haven't been to her house in a couple of weeks-nor did I intend to.
We live around the corner from each other. 

Tonight I went to pick up my son from basketball and drove the back street. It passes at the rear of the property but you can only just see her house.
There is an open paddock and then a heavily treed area directly behind her house. You can't access the paddock except for a gate which allows herds through...but it is wide enough for a car. I notice tyre tracks leading into the back of the treed area and I think why would anyone drive in there.
Unless you were hiding a car form the highway view. I know my x is clever and I wouldn't put it past him to do this. 

I pass by it and as I hit the top of the hill-my darling x drives straight towards me. (he works in the city and now lives with his brother two towns away) He pulled up along side and I said, what the 'heck are you doing here?'

He told me he was going to see our other son filming and he's looking for the pine plantation. But I feel like its a lie. He is in the wrong area. 

I find out from my son who is filming that my x was the one who gave him directions. He knew where he was all along. 
My x came back to the house as I had an item arrive from ebay for him and he handed me 120 dollars . Money has been awful for us.

I asked him if there was anything he needed to tell me and now was his chance. (argh) well he turned into the angriest I'd ever seen him. I remained pretty quiet while he yelled and basically told me the whole 15 years together was a sham. I asked why he wanted councling then. What his motivation was and he answered to show you what you've done to me.

I thought we were happy actually. i knew it was stressful-but I was never not ever secure in us. 

I told him I felt very loved the entire relationship except for the last couple of months and he'd done a great job..cause I believed him.
We still have a house to sell and get fixed to sell.
But he left in a hurry and screaming tyres.
Til now-I have been completely good. Only letting him contact me-except for kids or business and keeping things very formal and short. 

I don't think we stand a chance now.

I feel small and worthless and I wonder how Im supposed to believe any one if they ever tell me they love me again.

What do I do?


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## oncehisangel (Oct 13, 2012)

cant sleep. 
keep seeing him screaming.
he was always so gentle.

this sucks.
starting to feel really down. dammit


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

So, your entire sense of self-worth is wrapped up in the opinion of one person?


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## oncehisangel (Oct 13, 2012)

ach your harsh mr conrad.

but right.


it just hurts. future was planned you know.

i know..toughen up wench... 

can i hate you a little bit too?

but thanks. I get it







but it still damn hurts


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

oncehisangel said:


> ach your harsh mr conrad.
> 
> but right.
> 
> ...


Go ahead and hate me.

It's free

BTW - expose the affair.


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## oncehisangel (Oct 13, 2012)

Go ahead and hate me.

It's free

BTW - expose the affair


tried it earlier. apparently my mother thinks its ok for them to be friends. 
I said, mother friends don't hide. 

illl try conrad-lost my whole damn family. 
I'm going to get myself adult adopted . 

ps still cant sleep
thanks for the hate I need someone to throw things at now. 
excellent
night-night TAM people.


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## Hermes (Oct 8, 2012)

Conrad said:


> Go ahead and hate me.
> 
> It's free
> 
> BTW - expose the affair.


tough love is good sometimes....  

I agree, expose it.


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## oncehisangel (Oct 13, 2012)

omg this is so pathetic its funny.
i went back to get a pic of the tracks that were very obviously there last night.....(my brother is in PNG and I know he'll need hard proof)
and they were gone!
The thought of my ex getting up in the wee hours to lift up grass so no one would see his little path to immorality had me in hysterics.

Do you see the crap they will do to cover their asses!!!!!!!!!!! 

Im still laughing. 
wow... sneaky bastard!


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## tonynw (Nov 7, 2012)

your user name is so correct "once his angel". when a man is fed up he is fed up, the same as a woman. but a man will always be weak and come running back. just make sure you be strong, stand up and say no when hes does come back.


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## oncehisangel (Oct 13, 2012)

yes sir mr tony!

You know what I've discovered-this morning?
(and this could change rapidly given my current state of my mind sitting in a storm)
but today-I realised this- I looked back and I know the truth- i was loved pretty darn well. 
You CAN'T fake that. 
A girl knows these things. Ive known that man since he was 22 and now he's 37.... but I got the best of him.
And now someone else will get the best of me one day.

thankyou tony.


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## oncehisangel (Oct 13, 2012)

i had a mind movie of them shagging today...I kicked it to the kerb with a laugh because he has a massive tattoo and my name smack in the centre (ps; he called me Angel) and I thought.....wonder how she feels when she sees that *grins with dimples.

its going to cost him a wee packet to change that now isn't it?

Ooh, I do believe I feel stronger today


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