# considering buying a home post divorce



## Trickster (Nov 19, 2011)

I've been officially divorced about a year now and live in an apartment. Overall, considering it's an apartment, I seem to like it. Now, they're going to raise my rent way more that I am willing to pay if there's better options.


With a VA loan, I can buy a townhome with zero down. Even with property taxes, the monthly HOA fee, and insurance, it would still be less than what my new rent amount will be. plus it's bigger.

Now that I am on my own, buying a home is scary. My daughter is almost 16 and she will be off to college soon, which will give me more flexibility with my location. I still have 2 1/2 more years of child support at $1000 a month. I could wait it out a couple more years and save as much as possible.

Getting approved 10 years ago was a pain in the butt being that I was self employed and now, on top of that, I have a large child support liability. My income fluctuates so much month to month. The first time around, the lender wanted an audit of my income because I earned way more than other people in my industry. My record keeping isn't nearly as good as it was back then.


My gf was also hinting that she would like me to move in with her. even though my daughter likes her, I'm definitely not ready for that. 

Is it better that build a savings first and I get my financial house in order before I buy?


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

Understand my ideas are those of an older lady and not from professional experience.

Do not move with girlfriend yet. So, other choices: over-priced apartment, a different apartment, or new town home.

"Is it better that build a savings first and I get my financial house in order before I buy?" Yes for many reasons!

I'd find an apartment or something similar 'with character' and move there--save some money, just on general principle because I don't take to folks overcharging me because they think they can. 

Now, someone give him professional advice.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

No to the girlfriend and yes to the townhome. 

Reduced cash flow while building equity for the win. But only ever buy real estate if you’re confident you could sell it and make money, or at least not lose money. Don’t forget to factor in realtor fees, taxes, etc.

If you’re going to be on your own soon, consider buying a smaller place to reduce your negative cash flow. Again, see it as an investment, not just a home. Smallest expense with the largest upside potential possible.

One of my guiding principles has been to buy the cheapest place in the most expensive neighbourhood I can. Hasn’t steered me wrong yet.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Definitely no to moving in with the gf. Definitely yes to the townhome (as long as you're comfortable with that idea).


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

My first house was a townhouse. I loved it and like you, even after all the fees, etc. it ended up being less per month than my rent had been. I kept it for a couple years and then sold it for a nice profit to put towards a larger house just as my second child was arriving. 

Just be sure to buy something that you can sell easily when the time comes. Once your daughter is out of the house you might want to relocate again.

I'd at least look into getting a mortgage and see what happens so you can keep all your options open.


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## Trickster (Nov 19, 2011)

My ex-wife and owned a townhome and after 9 years, we were able to sell it "as is" to a friend. Made a nice profit. We didn't even use a relator. My friend has a home for her 6 year old daughter which she may stay there through high school. There's a whole new generation of kids there now and very few high school kids. She has the perfect home. everybody won.

Honestly buying a new home scares me. I found another townhome community that looks inviting. I was driving around and stopped to look a home for rent, a security patrol stopped me. I told him I was looking to buy. He even helped to find the townhomes I had written down. I just wanted to see the outside for now. I liked that I was stopped. Id feel safer with my daughter walking home from school or walking our dog. I want to see a crime report of the area though. I think I like the area and it's less than a mile from the high school. great for my daughter.

Renting a townhome from an individual owner also gives me a little negotiating power. Most of the homes are close to 50 years old and may not increase in value all that much. 


I've been warned. NO MOVE IN WITH GF.

Thanks!


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

Trickster, let me put this succinctly, real estate is your best investment. My overall philosophy is that when you rent you are paying the landlord's mortgage, and you have nothing to show for all the money that has been tossed your landlord's way. When you own, every penny is going from one pocket to another. You are building equity. When you sell, if conditions are right, you will take out a modicum of profit. 

Now, you can keep all parties happy with this arrangement. First, yes for the next two years with child support, may be a little tight, however you will still be on the positive side of the ledger. You can keep the GF at bay as you are really building for a future, and you can sell it that way. There are way more positives financially than there are negatives to this.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

I say go ahead and apply, see what you get approved for. Go for it! I was able to buy my own home right out of my last divorce, and its been so great for me. You cannot rent any apartment or house around me for what I pay for my mortgage. See about getting a home warranty too, I wish I had done that when I bought mine.


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

It seems like the townhome would be a good move for you considering it's less than rent. And this way your payment will stay the same. Of course, there's always the home maintenance kind of issues, but it sounds like you already have some experience from the earlier townhome. It seems like this is a "there is nothing to fear but fear itself" kind of situation. 

One thing to be more cautious about is who pays for what if your GF eventually moves in with you. Without clear agreements, payments she makes to help with the mortgage could confer some kind of ownership or share of the equity. But don't worry about the specifics of that now. I'm just bringing it up so that if it happens in the future you will be aware and can get specific advice at that time.


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## TomNebraska (Jun 14, 2016)

I'm in a similar boat; separated over a year, divorced (finalized) for about 8 months now. Lately, I've been paying off a lot of debt and starting to save again.

Right now I'm renting a 2 bedroom townhome. I found one owned by a nice lady, close to my kids, and she charges me about $100-$200/month under market rent. 

All good! Why screw it up? Well, I'd still like to get a house for a couple reasons: 

1) My kids are young, and it would be nice to have a little more space for them and their stuff, especially a fenced back yard to play in

2) I'd like to garden and landscape. 

3) I'd like the peace of mind that comes from owning my own home, knowing I don't need to worry about the landlord raising rent, or selling.

Downside?
But the biggest downside that I can see (aside from the obvious own/rent calculations & market risk), is what happens when I get into a serious relationship again and consider marriage...? I gather no woman wants to move into her fiancee's "bachelor pad" - even if she gets the green light to redecorate most - if not all - of it, and it's a nice house. So if in 2-3 years that's where I'm at, I'll likely have to put my house up for sale and maybe take a loss on it.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Your child is 16 so will presumably go to college in 2 years? Why not wait till then and you wont need to be restricted by having to live near her school. At the moment you really don't have flexibility with where you can live. You say that you are able to pay the rent, pay $1000 a month and still save? So you aren't short of money clearly. Either stay where you are or look for a cheaper rental property for the next couple of years and then you will be free to buy a smaller place and can live wherever you like. 
Also by then you will know if you and your GF are still together and wanting to live together or marry. 

How long have you and your GF been dating?


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