# I think this time I'm done



## KnitWitty (Feb 3, 2012)

My husband and I have been together for 16 years and married for almost 13. Our marriage has had its ups and downs, but the downs are now more frequent. During the ups I find myself waiting for him to do something to mess things up. I will only burden you with the most recent happenings that have brought me to the conclusion that our marriage cannot be repaired.

In 2010, we were upside down on our mortgage. Every payment made our small house seem even smaller. We were foster parents and had adopted one of our foster kids in 2009. We wanted more room so that we could continue to take in foster children. We had a friend that was going through a divorce and didn’t know what to do about his house. He didn’t want to live in it and his ex couldn’t afford the payments. Our house ended up being foreclosed and we moved into the friend’s house. The house was double the size and the rent was less than our former mortgage. 

In my mind, things seemed to be falling into place. I didn’t know my husband was keeping some very important information from me. The day after we moved into our “new” home, my husband decided to drop the following bombshell. Seven months prior, he had been pulled over by the police after leaving the home of a suspected prostitute. He was questioned and insisted that he had just gone there for a massage. After continued questioning and reassurance that he would not be arrested, he confessed to getting a hand job. The woman was arrested and her children put in to foster care.

I was crushed and angry, but I couldn’t picture my life without him, so I was willing to forgive. We started M/C to deal with his infidelity. Surprisingly, the infidelity bothered me less because it was a prostitute and not someone from work or a bar. Health & Welfare was made aware of the situation and we ended up losing our foster care license. I am unable to have children and love being a mom. I had always seen foster care as a calling for me. I could help kids that needed a good, safe home.

A year had passed since then and things had been going very well for us as a family. I was contemplating on checking if we could get our foster care license re-instated. Something told me to wait. Two weeks before Christmas, my husband was fired from his job. He got a new job and his first day was this Monday. He was still at work last night when I went to bed and when I woke up this morning, not only was he not in bed, he wasn’t home. I called his cell phone. When he answered he told me he was in the process of being bailed out of jail for a DUI. Not only that, but a DUI in the borrowed truck of our friend/landlord. Our friend & landlord who was now bailing him out of jail.

I live a good an honest life, but none of it seems to matter because the person I am married to is screwing up our chance at good, happy life. I can’t be drug down by this man anymore…but I’m still a little unsure and feeling guilty about thinking of divorce.


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## justwhy (Dec 7, 2011)

i think you guys and still work it out..


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## Acorn (Dec 16, 2010)

Knitwitty - this is a lot to be going through. I think it is reasonable to want more from your spouse.

What does your husband say about this? How is your communication while all this is going on?


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## KnitWitty (Feb 3, 2012)

I haven't talked to my husband about it yet. Last time I told him if anything like this happened again, I was done.

I went in to work today as usual. I talked and cried with a couple of friends this morning. Our friend that bailed him out this morning, called and wants to sit down and talk tonight while my husband is at work. He said he realizes now that my husband may need help and wants to help however he can.

I told him that there is more to the story than he knows. I also told him that my husband and I know he needs some sort of help, but I'm trying to decide if I want to stick around while he gets it.

It was so hard to say that out loud.


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