# Too much water under the bridge?



## snix11

When someone lists "too much water under the bridge" as a reason for divorce, what does that mean to you?

I see it as resentment or a grudge they can't let go of. 

To me the water is always flowing - good times, bad times, what comes under the bridge starts upstream with actions - loving gestures, arguments, what have you. 

You can change what water goes under that bridge whenever you want. Make it all sparkly and good from here on out, just watch it go by (passively living the relationship without trying to hurt/help anything) or throw in sludge upstream and say "there! see, it's all bad!"

*Other views?*



_due to undue peer pressure, I went out and got my very own genuine PSF. _ :bounce:


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## Leahdorus

snix11 said:


> When someone lists "too much water under the bridge" as a reason for divorce, what does that mean to you?]



I take it to mean that the problems seem too great to overcome and the person wants to just walk away and not deal with it.


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## smgmtman

Too much water has passed under the bridge, my wife,

For a little thing to tear us apart before the end.

A relationship that a special bond that holds stronger than most

For we that made it through will never give up the friendship ghost.

Too much water under the bridge!


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## snix11

very, um... poetic smgmtman - 

tho the phrase "friendship ghost" stings more than possibly intended as he has 'sacrificed our relationship to save our friendship' in his words.


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## smgmtman

Snix,

Very very well read.


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## dcrim

I agree with Leah to a point. 

Really what it says to me is someone is too lazy to be bothered trying to fix things. Or doesn't care. 

Either way a sign of depression that needs professional help. But he won't go, will he? 

Well, a friendship IS a relationship. Love grows from that friendship. Lives shared grow from that love. So he hasn't given up anything, just decided to change the way he shows it. Incorrectly, I might add.


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## snix11

Interesting point DC.. I'll give it some thought. Anybody else? I have been racking my brain for other ideas, but it seems to keep boiling down to a cop out to me. shrug.


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## GAsoccerman

Is he of German decent? I am german, we are stubborn SOB's and we can't let go of certain things.

It may just be his mental makeup that he can not stop thinking about it.

I remember things my wife said 12 years ago...don't use them...but they are in my head. I am stubborn I work hard not to be.


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## snix11

He's stubborn Squared. No wait, make that Cubed... def a cube 

Anyway, whatever I love his stubborn nature, his manly manness of him, his strength. 

WHEN it's used for good and not against me or us!


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## Dark Angel

My wife has told me the same thing.

In fact, she's still so angry she doesn't even remember any of that nice clean sparkly water that went under as well.

I don't get it, if youre suppose to take the good with the bad, how can you take it from just one angle?

My wife is extremely stubborn also and still holds grudges against people for relatively minor things that occured many years ago!


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## Rhea

Eh hem...here is my quote for all of you quoters out there: 

"Love is a friendship set on FIRE"

oh here's another one

"Love is like a War, easy to start, had as hell to end."

ahhhh sh*t she's keepin em comin tonight, here's another

"Love is like a violen, the music may sometimes get lost BUT the strings are ALWAYS there."

I'll be here all night *thanks you all for listening and takes a bow*


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## dcrim

Rhea... (((*** HUGS ***)))


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## Rhea

lol I'm in an ODD mood tonite strangly enough after such a sh*tty night I've got jokes...weird no? LOL


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## snix11

keep em coming Rhea.... better to laugh than to cry


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## LaBella

To me it means that he has so much "Stuff" ot like my 10 years old will tell you "ISSUES" that has not been able to get over or does not want to get over them. The damp is blocked and he is refusing to unblocked for the water to run thru. He is just a very stubborn person.


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## dcrim

hey, Snix -- two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other "does this taste funny to you?"


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## michzz

It means there has been too much crap over a long period of time to deal with AND no end in sight since the pattern of it has not changed.


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## preso

snix11 said:


> When someone lists "too much water under the bridge" as a reason for divorce, what does that mean to you?
> 
> I see it as resentment or a grudge they can't let go of.
> 
> To me the water is always flowing - good times, bad times, what comes under the bridge starts upstream with actions - loving gestures, arguments, what have you.
> 
> You can change what water goes under that bridge whenever you want. Make it all sparkly and good from here on out, just watch it go by (passively living the relationship without trying to hurt/help anything) or throw in sludge upstream and say "there! see, it's all bad!"
> 
> *Other views?*
> 
> 
> 
> _due to undue peer pressure, I went out and got my very own genuine PSF. _ :bounce:


Means they give up and because of past behaviors, they no longer trust that person...


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## snix11

michzz said:


> It means there has been too much crap over a long period of time to deal with AND no end in sight since the pattern of it has not changed.


I agree there was crap in both directions, but about the no end in sight - 

- the patterns HAVE changed (at least mine) - 

to exactly what he said he wanted. He can't even remember the last three times we've argued or fought or even remember when he was angry. I have done everything he asked - he admits i have done everything i can, and am being kind, thoughtful, not angry, not losing my temper and trying to do everything he asks of me

I guess even my best isn't good enough


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