# Dread my husband coming home....



## lillylilac

I will try and make this short as possible.
I have been married for 22 years, married young. I have 4 children plus I also have an angel who died when she was 7 1/2 weeks old. (4 years ago)
My husband and I have always had a good relationship... which is probably why we lasted this long. We have the same sense of humour, we like the same things etc... and we are soul mates... BUT
We have one thing in our life that is/has caused a lot of heart ache.
Anal sex
I hate it, we have done it several time, and I only did it because he wanted to... He harps on and on and on about it, sometimes that is all he talks about. I get so fed up and basically depressed about it. I see other couples and wonder if they HAVE to do it to be happy.

But it is now getting to the stage where I dread him coming home as that is the first thing he goes on about,.. and i feel sick... I have been suffering from panic attacks and chest pains and it is due to the fact he goes on and expect anal sex... I hate it that much.

He sees it as another extenstion of his love towards me... but I dont I see it as he doesn't really care about my feelings.

We have always had a great sex life and I am always up for it.. sometimes he can't manage.. iykwim

But as time goes by I am drifting further and further away from him and I dont want to be with him. I know I can live on my own with the kids as I do when he is away... but I have no money and no job as he likes me to be at home.
But I am so lonely and fed up. I am stuck in a rut and I want out. I hate having to put under this pressure to do it when I really really dont want to.

I keep telling him to go and find someone else that wants to do it,but he wants to do it with me. 

What should I do...? help please

Since my daughter died, I feel my life has been stuck in a rut. I hate this house we live in, but my husband isn't too keen to move, it needs so much doing to it, but he isnt interested in decorating or repairing it. (all he wants to do is go to bed and have (a) sex...)

I want a change of life style a new life but dont know how to go about it... 

love Lily


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## Scannerguard

It sounds like your husband has gone from a normal "experimentation" to now a "sexual fixation." If that's all he talks about from you, I think he needs some treatment actually.

It sounded like you were good enough to experiment and you didn't like it. . .that's that. Tell him to go get a weekly prostate exam and see how he likes that.

And if you don't want to do it. . .it's now running the dangerous line of the act being sodomizing you and that's why you are repugnant.

I am sorry for your loss too. Tell him stop immediately. A good man should be concerned about your pleasure during any sexual act but you have to communicate too.


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## Atholk

Scannerguard said:


> Tell him to go get a weekly prostate exam and see how he likes that.


Actually those can be kinda good with the right doctor. 


Anyway to the OP....

Send him certified mail that you will no longer consent to anal sex and will dial 911 if it is forced on you. Keep a copy of the letter and file with your attorney. Likewise he must stop threatening you with it.

If he rapes you anally, dial 911.

If you send him the letter and you have anal sex and don't dial 911, you're basically setting yourself up to be raped into the future. You have to dial 911.


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