# New Chapter: A BIG Step!



## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

So my hubby and I talked last night. We've been married for over three years, he has a steady job with a good income, and we have our own place. That said, we've decided we want to have a baby! 

So, I just had to share the news with ya'll. I'm just now getting off of birth control, so I'm sure it'll be a few months before we conceive. At any rate, I've been tracking my cycle and trying to find the days I'm most fertile. Hopefully I'll have a better announcement soon. 

I would like some advice from you about what I should expect with the pregnancy, tips to keep from gaining tons of weight, what to expect from labor, whether you recommend the epidural shot or not...those sorts of things.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Nice to have you back, Created.

Missed your threads inputs and comments on TAM !

Congrats to you and your husband and best wishes!

[PS, I don't know anything about having babies, but I love them!]


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

Thanks CM!  I missed you guys too. Moving was crazy, and then we didn't have internet. But I'm back now! 

I love babies too, and hopefully will know more about having them soon.


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

Wow...guess not too many people here care about other posters deciding to have kids. I expected at least more than one response...

lol.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

Definitely go for the drugs (epidural) during labor. I couldn't have survived w/o it! 

As for the weight, just eat healthy, walk and exercise and you should be fine.

This is great news! :yay:


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

Welcome back. Good luck!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Congrats on the decision. 

Do what you feel is right for you and that pregnancy. Every pregnancy is different. With my first, it was easy and labor was medicated and easy. With my 2nd, the pregnancy was rough and labor was supposed to be medicated, but the epidural didn't work. Even so, it was NOT that bad. If I was to do it again, I'd do it unmedicated. For sure. 

Research labor and find a good hospital to do it in. KNOW YOUR RIGHTS as a woman in labor. They try to push induction and c-section like it's in style. DO NOT let them talk you into it. Let your body labor on its own time frame. I labored at home as long as I could. Know your body. Do your homework. Tell your doctor what you want and tell your husband to hold up what you want. My husband was AWESOME. When I couldn't speak (contractions), he was my voice. Well, until the baby was coming, then he just looked like this O_O :rofl:

Talk to your doctor about nutrition and weight gain. Just drink tons of water and don't overeat. You are NOT eating for 2. You are eating for 1...the baby will take the vitamins it needs from you. Be healthy.

Take a labor class when it's time. It is beneficial. Read up on the types of labor you want. There are many options.

Watch birth videos on Youtube. The make me cry every time 

Since you just came off birth control, monitor your cycle...figure out when you ovulate. It's usually 14-20 days after the first day of your period. I ovulate on day 19. I then get my period 14 days later...that is when a pregnancy test will be accurate. 

Sperm lives in ideal conditions for 4-7 days inside a woman. You will probably be able to tell ovulation from a certain cervical mucus called 'egg whites'. It looks just like egg whites and is OPTIMAL for sperm to travel up into the uterus. The egg lives for about 24 hours so have sex the week before ovulation and the day of and after, for SURE.  I conceived on the day I ovulated--- both times. I knew when I ovulated. 

Congrats and if you have any questions, you can always PM me. I love fertility and pregnancy


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## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

Lovely news. Here is a really great podcast, in case you haven't found it yet. I listened to it all through my (2) pregnancies. PregTASTIC Online Radio - Hosted by pregnant women for pregnant women, weekly guests and a very pregnant community!

My advice is; don't get induced. My first was, and it was very painful and I had to have an epidural. My second was not and came very quickly, in fact she was unexpectedly born at home, into my hands! It had its painful moments, but was generally an awesome experience.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I can also answer questions about breastfeeding if you choose that route.  I nursed both my chicken-butts. The first nursed for 10 months, the 2nd only for 3 months because I had supply issues.

it's good for their immunities. At least a month of it works wonders 

And it's free. ....which is good cause I'm cheap.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

But honestly, do what YOU feel is right.

Both of my babies had to be induced for complications and it was either induce OR c-section. I refused to be cut. Just do what you are comfortable with. Research, research, research.

And start taking prenatal vitamins NOW. Prep your body for pregnancy


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## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

Oh, and here's a book about your relationship after the baby. The Post-Baby Conversation: Alison Osborne: 9781877082788: Amazon.com: Books. I wish I'd read it and made my husband read it during my first pregnancy. Our relationship really struggled, and pretty much everyone I know well enough to discuss that stuff with said the same.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Post baby, don't be afraid to put the baby down and pay attention to each other. DO NOT FORGET that you were a couple before the baby came. Still nurture your marriage or it will fall apart. The baby doesn't become the head of the house. YOUR MARRIAGE is still number 1  It works.


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

that_girl said:


> Both of my babies had to be induced for complications and it was either induce OR c-section. I refused to be cut. Just do what you are comfortable with. Research, research, research.


I would add that as you do your research, prepare for different issues. My wife wanted to deliver naturally, so of course my first was breech with his legs crossed. We had no option but to go with a c-section. She tried natural as well for the second, but after 16 hours of labor, they had to go to c-section again. We had previously talked through what we (read mostly she) wanted to do, and how far she wanted to go. It made things easier for both of us as we balanced what was best for my wife with what was best for my daughter. 

I am not trying to scare you, only noting that things happen.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

For sure! But many of my friends, myself included, were told a c-section was necessary but it wasn't. I was told i wasn't progressing as much as they thought I should  the hell? There was no danger to me or my child if I labored naturally.


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## heavensangel (Feb 12, 2012)

Congrats!!! Being pregnant was the best I've ever felt, well once the morning sickness was gone, that is. That was the worst part!! 

That girl says it best .....do what feels right to you. And take more advice from you doctor than anyone else. And remember.....there's no such thing as a 'stupid' question. I went natural with both my first and second (twins) pregnancies. Experienced no complications with either. My very healthy twins were 15 days early (6lbs 4 oz and 7 lbs 3 oz), my first was born on his due date @ 7lbs 6oz. 

If you breast feed, watch out for chocolate! No one warned me about this until it was too late.......poor baby was up all night with a belly ache. It was the darn snickers bar I craved while carrying him. Thinking it would be healthier for him if I wait until after delivery to have one....yeah I didn't make that same mistake the 2nd time. 1st one breast fed until 10 mos, he went from that straight to a cup...no bottle to break him from. Did it for 4 mos with the twins, just couldn't keep up with their nutritional needs. 

Exciting news for you!!!!! Best wishes to you both!!


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

Thanks all! My mom had natural births for both of her pregnancies, and she said she is so glad she didn't do the epidural. My mother in law is the exact opposite. She hated childbirth, and wanted drugs, but waited until it was too late to ask. She didn't have another baby.

From what I've read, I really don't like the sound of the epidural. I'm not fond of needles, and I(think) I'd like to do it naturally. Bragging rights and all.  Just kidding. I have a fairly good tolerance to pain, so we'll see. If it's a long labor though...I may reconsider. lol. 

Thanks so much for all of the advice though! I'm like, a sponge. And my mom hasn't been very supportive of this decision. When I mentioned wanting a baby she laughed and said, "Oh dear", like I was silly or something. So I'm having some emotional issues right now. I'd always imagined my mom would be excited, when hubs and I made this step but...apparently not. And I know my dad isn't. Anytime I've had anything to tell him that was important, he's always started with, "You're not pregnant are you?"  DH's family s ecstatic, especially his mom. She heard we'd started trying and called me and asked if it was true. I said yes and she screamed for like five minutes. lol. Love that woman. So, a time that's supposed to be happy has been...not as happy as I'd like. 

Anyway, I gotta run. Thanks again for the great advice and the congratulations. I appreciate it.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Trying to control your weight while pregnant is almost impossible, you will likely have insane cravings... Morning sickness is horrible, I preferred Dry Heaves - so I would wait every morning to eat breakfast after those horrible spasms came over me . 

I was never much around babies growing up.....might have only held one baby in my lifetime....so when we had our 1st, it was all so very new....I read so many books while pregnant, between that and natural instinct... it all flooded so very naturally...I was always a beaming Mom after that baby arrived. On top of the world. 

I smiled through every C-section...all  of them. Labor was the worst pain I ever felt in my life, mine was simply not progressing -after 24 hrs in the hospital. Had no desire to try that again -when I had a choice with #2. 

All mothers will have different advice... might feel like you are being pulled & prodded between your Mother IN Law & your Mom's way of doing things. .... Be your own Mom. 

Congratulations - it's a new journey ...one of the greatest there is.


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## sweaty teddy (Nov 13, 2012)

Good luck. 

take parenting classes (both of you)

don't forget to keep your husband happy a happy dad equals a happy family.


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## DrDavidCOlsen (Oct 7, 2012)

Congratulations! THe most important thing to consider is that any lifecyle change brings stress and change to a relationship. While it is initially exciting, couples often make the mistake of underestimating the impact of a child on their relationship, and on their roles. 
Couples who stay healthy keep their communication open, and are careful to talk more about changing roles, changing priorities, not to mention the impact of sleep deprivation. This can be an amazing, and exciting experience for a couple who have healthy, and open communication.
David Olsen, PHD, LMFT


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

Thanks guys.  I'm really excited. Sometimes I'm scared, but I know it's what we both want.


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