# Need Help, having some strange thoughts!!!!!



## SunShineLady01 (Mar 4, 2011)

Hi;
I sure could use some advice here. I have been married for 3 years, dated hubby 4 years prior to marriage. All throughout our dating, he was faithful as well as I. Anyways, he had an affair 1 1/2 years ago. I forgave him and eventually, we reconcilled. I love him and believe that he loves me. 
Here lately, I'm bored, our marriage is okay, our sex is okay, we communicate and do things together, but it's just boring. I'm thinking about cheating. I really don't feel that it is to get even with him and hurt him like he hurt me. It just feels like something was lost when he did cheat and we will never get it back. I know that cheating is wrong, but sometimes I can't help thinking about just doing it anyway. 
Maybe I'm expecting too much too soon after our troubles. 
(In case anyone asks, no I do not think that he is still cheating, really to be honest, he appears more faithful and loving now).
Advice welcome please!


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## kristinlloyd (Apr 22, 2010)

Where do you think your "boredom" stems from? Are you looking for excitement in your marriage? Also when you say that something was lost when he cheated, was it trust or something else? Have you been able to trust him again? And finally, do you think that the thing that is missing is the ability to let your guard down again and let yourself be free with him b/c you are afraid of getting hurt? It could be that you are afraid of being vulnerable again b/c you were so terribly hurt before. 
Best to you!


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## kristinlloyd (Apr 22, 2010)

I know I asked a lot of questions in my last post, but questions seem to stimulate the most thinking.


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## SunShineLady01 (Mar 4, 2011)

When I think about it, I guess that I am looking for some excitement in my marriage. Everything is so boring and routine. 
I trust him to a certain degree, but to be completely honest, I don't know if I'll ever be able to completely trust him like I once did.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Your thoughts aren't all THAT strange.

An affair can lead to a lot of excitement - especially when you involve the expensive lawyers and start fighting over child custody and property...

Take some time and read around on the Infidelity forum to get an idea of the kind of damage you would do. You guys were lucky to recover once. It likely wouldn't happen again.


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## hubby (Aug 10, 2009)

Have you asked him to be a little more kinky? I would be ecstatic if my wife asked me that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Smackdown (Feb 21, 2011)

Cheaters suck. Sorry. Just divorce him and then go have some fun on your dime.


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

If your interested, talk to a PC or MC about this.


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