# What to do



## Greg0327 (Oct 26, 2015)

Hello, I have a problem and not sure what to do. I live in Illinois due to my job which pays me well and my wife refuses to move to Illinois to be with me because she doesn’t like it here. My wife moved to Pennsylvania about a year ago and been staying with my mother who is fine. She lived here with me for 2 years when I got notice from my job that they were going to move me back to Pa; they later changed their mind about it and I am no longer moving. It’s been going on like this for almost a year and I asked my wife to move back since I ran out of vacation time which she refuses. 
Financially it has been a mess which we are in debt. She controlled the money and bills with both of our checks going to one account; I was never involved in the bill paying and never bothered even looking at the account. 
After sometime of pressuring her to move back, she finally got fed up with it and called and said it was over with. She also removed her paycheck from the account and also asked me to remove her from my insurance. Basically she left me with all the bills which I have been slowly paying on. She is also using one of my cars because she doesn’t have one and says she will take care of auto insurance as long as I let her use it which I agreed to. She is still living with my mother!
We have not spoken since that phone call in 4 weeks, only the occasional email, here and there. She also mentioned in an email, that she will help me with the bills. 
Basically the question I have is how do I know it’s time to move on? I was going to give it another 2 weeks of complete silence with her and see if she calls and wants to save the marriage. There has never been any abuse or cheating. We got along pretty good except for financial matters because of my spending. Now, just so you know, she spent too. We have no children together either besides a dog which I currently have

Thanks Greg


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

How odd. How long have you been married? How old are you two?


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

You should read the the post from this poster, her story sounds similar to yours, @ memyselfandi. Maybe the replies to her situation will give you some insights on how to handle your issues.


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

you never mentioned why she is so steadfastly refusing to live in Illinois. Based on what you've shared it sounds like the relationship is not her first priority (or second or third). Might be time to move on.


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