# Introducing .......



## KristineLuvsIt (Jun 19, 2017)

Hello everyone!! I just recently joined and hope to understand more about relationships and how to deal wih marriage issues and concerns.

Obviously my name is Kristine and I've been married for 7 years with 2 young children.

To my knowledge my husband has been faithful for the 10 years we've been together and is a wonderful Father to our 2 children.

I ......on the other hand am far from perfect and have made mistakes which my husband is aware of and has forgiven me.

For the most part we have a good relationship but he may bring up my mistakes from time to time especially after a night of drinking. I know and expect him to do so as the evening progresses and as much as I hate him bringing it up I just grit and bare it since I was wrong and if these occasional outbursts of torture is my punishment then I'll accept it.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Sounds like you are in a good place now.
What did you do to cause the ire of your SO?


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## KristineLuvsIt (Jun 19, 2017)

I hope I am!?

I made a few very bad decisions early in our relationship and once after we were married that had caused him a lot of pain and doubt for us being together. 

With communication, strength and prayers he has been nothing short of amazing to had forgiven me and take me back.

Not that it's an excuse but each incident occurred when I drank way too much. Needless to say alcohol is a no no for me to have and am forbidden to drink at any social functions.


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## m00nman (Nov 29, 2014)

KristineLuvsIt said:


> I hope I am!?
> 
> I made a few very bad decisions early in our relationship and once after we were married that had caused him a lot of pain and doubt for us being together.
> 
> ...





> For the most part we have a good relationship but he may bring up my mistakes from time to time especially after a night of drinking.


Welcome. It sounds to me like the both of you need to quit drinking and that he still struggles with the past transgressions. That may be the alcohol though.


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## KristineLuvsIt (Jun 19, 2017)

I can still have alcohol in the comforts of home but if we were to go out with friends or at a social function like a wedding or whatever we've agreed it's best for me to stay dry. 

I know he still struggles with what I've done in the past and it's those times when he opens up more to me with it. I try to get him to talk to me but he often shuts down and only says he's getting thru it his own way. 

I've suggested counseling but he says doesn't need to rehash what's been done.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Let's just get it out there. What were the mistakes. Me thinks they involved other men. Am I correct?


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## KristineLuvsIt (Jun 19, 2017)

sokillme said:


> Let's just get it out there. What were the mistakes. Me thinks they involved other men. Am I correct?


Yes you are and if I could turn the hands of time back ......... I'd erase each incident but obviously cannot.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

takes a long time for someone to get over infidelity..and some may want to but deep inside can't.

how long ago was it? and how many times? did you fess up or trickle truth him? are you truly remorseful and how do you communicate that to him?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

OmgitsKristineLuvsIt


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

KristineLuvsIt said:


> Yes you are and if I could turn the hands of time back ......... I'd erase each incident but obviously cannot.


Each incident?!

If you want good advice you should tell us the full story. 

Yes some people are going to be harsh, however there are some very decent WS on here who have changed their entire nature, and even me who is pretty down on R admire them. The ones who truly get it, get what they did on an emotional level, there is some shame involved, and a visceral pain from their actions. This is not, wow that was F-ed up, it's I can't believe I cause another human being such pain, and one who loves me, I feel such sorrow. To me that is what it takes. 

Anyway please get your story out there. What you did, and what you have done to try to heal it.

Another question is what do you think your husband is feeling? Why do you blame it all on alcohol. Sounds like there was more then one, if you knew drinking was the issue why did you not stop drinking the first time?

Part of me thinks that you not discussing it is part of why you guys aren't getting better or as good as you would like. The ones who heal get to the point where they just bluntly accept what they did and how monstrous is was. All there cards on the table so to speak. Now I may not be big on R, but at least I would respect that and it would make me think that a change has started to take place. 

Anyway if you want help lets get real here.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

sokillme said:


> Each incident?!
> 
> If you want good advice you should tell us the full story.


Read the OP again. She is not asking for advice or input.



sokillme said:


> Yes people are going to be harsh, however there are some very decent WS on here who have changed their entire nature, and even me who is pretty down on R admire them. The ones who truly get it, get what they did on an emotional level, there is some shame involved, and a visceral pain from their actions. This is not, wow that was F-ed up, it's I can't believe I cause another human being such pain, and one who loves me, I feel such sorrow. To me that is what it takes.
> 
> Anyway please get your story out there. What you did, and what you have done to try to heal it.
> 
> ...


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> Read the OP again. She is not asking for advice or input.





> I just recently joined and hope to understand more about relationships and how to deal wih marriage issues and concerns.


Sounds like asking for help to me. If not

Hi!:yawn2:


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