# Why is this woman lying



## sharky72 (Jul 8, 2012)

I have been dating a women for approx 6mths now.We get on like a house on fire with plenty of spark and chemistry.We met online.

From the first phone call she laid the foundation of a 36yr old with kids 21,19,18,and 8,married young had kids young,now separated for 2 yrs.Abusive husband ect.She is very successful in her work and financially.

As time went on I started noticing holes in her stories,she loves to talk.She would offer to much information or over compensate for the simplest of activities where she been ect.I have never asked questions,she just offers the information,sounds like she really is hiding something.

She seems to talk a lot but really says nothing,has an explanation or excuse for everything.We’ve never been to each others house and in fact she has never said to me where she lives only the general area.Meanwhile promising a future together and living happily ever after but keeping me at arms length at all times never letting me in.

I’ve has a gut feeling all along I’m being played,so I hired a service from a private investigator to confirm her D.O.B. Well turns out she’s turning 47 next month lol (I'm 39),so this makes her foundation story void doesn’t it. I fronted her with the info and she didn’t seem to think it was a big deal and was a bit blasé about it saying if I can get away with it then why not and told me to harden up lol..

I’m really keen on this women but just don’t know what to believe anymore,I think she has a mental issue maybe or is just a compulsive liar

What are your thoughts ladies and gents,why is she lying like this when it really is unnecessary,how will I trust another women again….


----------



## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

*Re: Why do women lie*



> why do women lie like this when it really is unnecessary


_Women _don't. _She _does. Big difference.

She lies because that's what she's been doing for 47 years as long as she can get away with it to get what she wants or to make herself look better. There may be underlying reasons and disorders and pathologies for it, but so what? She's a liar and doesn't think anything of it. 

So she will continue to lie, and you know this already, so proceed at your own risk.

You've been dating for 6 months and don't even know where she lives. Clearly, she is hiding something about herself and doesn't want you there...could be, she's still living with her husband.


----------



## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

*Re: Why do women lie*

what other holes in what other stories? At this point you have no chance at building trust with her. If I were you I'd man up and tell her you want to end it.

also, I hope this thread doesn't get censored, titles like that which come across as misogynistic don't get to stay around for long.


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

*Re: Why is this women lying*

Well, why do men lie? Why do women poop? Why do men smile?

Your title should be, Why did MY woman lie? Not all women are YOUR woman.

She's probably married. Woman can cheat too.


----------



## sharky72 (Jul 8, 2012)

My apologies...edited


----------



## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

*Re: Why is this women lying*



that_girl said:


> She's probably married. Woman can cheat too.


TG, you are hilarious tonight, that's two posts in the last 20 minutes you suspected out of the blue that a date is married and cheating (granted it could be true in this case) but you also inferred that a third party in a threesome was possibly underage?? Very presumptive sounding tonight from my perspective


----------



## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

sharky72 said:


> My apologies...edited


what? how can you edit a title, when did they add that?


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

*Re: Why is this women lying*



Lon said:


> TG, you are hilarious tonight, that's two posts in the last 20 minutes you suspected out of the blue that a date is married and cheating (granted it could be true in this case) but you also inferred that a third party in a threesome was possibly underage?? Very presumptive sounding tonight from my perspective


The other poster said "young girl" in an Asian country. Sex trafficking is wildly rampant and that to me, when I hear "young girl" is a YOUNG GIRL :scratchhead: Am I wrong? I guess I just call women, women and girls girls. My bad.

And this time, this woman is lying about her age (no big deal, I guess, but rather silly as things come out in time), they've been dating for a long while but he's never seen her house. Granted she has children, or does she? Who knows, she's been lying! But if she did, there could still have been times in the past 6 months where he could know where she lives. Why is it so hard for you to see that people can cheat and these are the lies that are weaved to achieve it? This OP hired a PI! A PI for a woman he's been dating for not too long. Her lies must be crazy.

In the other thread, i know the WHOLE story of WT. Do you? I am not so sure you do because ...well, i replied in THAT thread to that post.


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Lon said:


> what? how can you edit a title, when did they add that?


It's always been available. When you edit, it's in 'advanced' or something.


----------



## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

that_girl said:


> It's always been available. When you edit, it's in 'advanced' or something.


and all this time I've had to be so careful when starting threads.

Anyways yes I agree in this case the holes in this ladies story add up to something significant she is trying to hide. A husband and family at home is one possibility.


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

See? I'm not so hilarious  My mind goes where it goes and I just throw out things to see where it goes. I'm not paranoid, but this situation just seems weird.

It would be one thing if the woman didn't like about something so silly as her age, and then said since she has children at home, they wouldn't be frequenting her house. I get that--- I didn't bring men around my children either.


----------



## sharky72 (Jul 8, 2012)

It is starting to look like husband and family at home isn't it.I do believe she has kids at home.Showed her my licence and she gave me excuse why hers wasn't in her purse lol.Some people are really cunning.


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

In all the things I've read about relationships and cheating, etc, one BIG red flag is NOT seeing their home within a reasonable amount of time. The first reason being they have a live-in bf/gf or a spouse. 

For me, I dated a man for a long while and did think it was a bit weird that we never went to his home. i thought "wife" or "gf" but no....HOARDER and right next door to his mom. yep. lol. That was it for me.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Too bad you did not have that PI do a bit more work. She could just be protecting her children by not letting you around her home.

Or she could be married with children (or without) and living with her husband.

Or her entire life could be a fabrication.

No way I'd continue a relationship like that.


----------



## sharky72 (Jul 8, 2012)

Exactly... that girl..thats what i'm thinking she has home family to protect


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Yea...cut ties with crazy. Don't even try to figure it out. At least that's what I'd do.


----------



## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

You've already wasted too many brain cells on this one, friend.


----------



## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Some people are just deeply disturbed and live way out there in lielieland. I worked for several years with one guy who had everyone "convinced"   that he was a Rockefeller. I met up with him years later, he still worked at the same store, but now he was a Kennedy. Story he gave to me when I "asked" (was curious how he assembled his story) apparently his mom is a Kennedy and his dad a Rockefeller and too many people were inquiring about his identity which he wanted to remain a "secret" he wouldn't say which of the Rockefellers his father was (and lived in NY). Said he didn't want paparazzi tracking him down.

This guy was also highly intelligent, enough so that he was able to go about living his life with this identity, even had the employer and his bank accounts using it for payroll and even proper looking immigration papers.

People are capable of astounding feats.


----------



## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Some people get an addictive 'kick' out of lying to other people.
It falls under the category of power and control.
So long as you're willing to play the fool, she will continue.
But if you even start saying simple things like 'I don't believe you.' she will move on, to someone who is willing to play along (consciously or not.)


----------



## rj700 (Jun 22, 2012)

sharky72 said:


> promising a future together and living happily ever after but keeping me at arms length at all times never letting me in.
> 
> I’ve has a gut feeling all along I’m being played,so I hired a service from a private investigator to confirm her D.O.B. ….


In matters of the heart, trust your gut. And an LTR is built on trust. Not a very good start here.


----------



## sharky72 (Jul 8, 2012)

I will be attending a work conference this week for three days,there will be work colleagues and contacts at the venue she's known for a while.I find it hard to believe she has a husband at home after this.
I have fronted her with "I don't believe you"and given her evidence,she shrugs it off and says no big deal lets continue..lol


----------



## rj700 (Jun 22, 2012)

It is not a big deal to her. But it is a big deal to YOU. If she doesn't understand that it is a major cause for concern. Particularly this early in the relationship.


----------



## sharky72 (Jul 8, 2012)

It's like water off a ducks back to her no problem,she doesn't see the weight it holds to me.I understand why someone would lie about their age in this competitive society,but it was totally unnecessary.Glad i found it early in the peace...


----------



## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

If someone CAN lie about their age, why would they NEED to?
I'm 48 and look 35. I don't lie about my age. I don't need to. What would be the point?


----------

