# I fear my husband has been sleeping with my God son. I need advice



## melindag (May 21, 2013)

My marriage is at a very unstable place right now and I need some advice. Last month, my God son and his mother came to stay with me and my husband from another country. We agreed to let them both live with us until they are able to find jobs and get their own place. They have only been here since last month and the mother has already found a job as a live in nanny. My God son is still staying with me along with my husband.

Once they moved in, we noticed a very foul odor throughout their room. Eventually, we realized that my God son was not taking showers. It is not a cultural thing to not take showers but we never knew why he didn't do it. We told him that he needs to start showering because we felt it would be better for us to tell him than for somebody else to tell him.

I must also add that my godson is gay. He has been gay for as long as I've known him and it doesn't bother me one bit.

My husband works nights and I work days. The mother is only home on the weekends and my godson is always home since he hasn't found work yet. I came home early a few days ago without calling since I felt I didn't need to. 

I'll get to the point and tell you that I went in the bathroom and heard giggling. What I found was my husband (who is 53) taking a shower with my godson (who is 22). I also noticed that they both had an erection. They were both well lathered and were having a good time before I caught them.

My husband swore to me that nothing went on and he only took the shower with him because he wanted to show him the proper way to shower. This has been heavy on my mind and I feel like I can't take it anymore. They both said that nothing happened but I can't help but to think that something did.

Me and my husband don't use condoms but I have noticed that my husband recently bought a jar of vaseline. Everyime I'm at work, I'm always wondering what they are doing home alone and it's causing me to be less productive. Should I believe that my husband has not been sleeping with him? I want to believe it but that image in the shower is still burned in my mind. how can I get through this?


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## anja (Mar 12, 2013)

Your husband is a kind and caring man and you should be glad to have him!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

Melindag, if this story is real then I have no idea why you are questioning what you know to be the truth. Your god son needs to go! So does your husband!


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## melindag (May 21, 2013)

Well I want my god son gone but it will be at least another couple of months before they have enough money to move out. It could be quicker if he starts working but in other words, he has no other place to go. My husband says that I'm paranoid but I just can't get this off of my mind.


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

Has your husband ever shown any interest in men before or being bisexual? This isn't usually something that just happens...one day they wake up and say i want to experiment. Has he always liked to experiment with new things? Have you asked him what the vaseline is for?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

What remains said times 2.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

anja said:


> Your husband is a kind and caring man and you should be glad to have him!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Ah, no. A 22 year old man *knows* how to take a shower. A 22 year year old man does not need an older man to strip naked and *join* him in the shower in order to teach the younger man how to clean himself.

It is exactly what the OP thinks it is. Her H is cheating on her with a person of the same sex. That doesn't make for a "kind and caring" man and certainly not for a H.


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

melindag said:


> Well I want my god son gone but it will be at least another couple of months before they have enough money to move out. It could be quicker if he starts working but in other words, he has no other place to go. My husband says that I'm paranoid but I just can't get this off of my mind.


What do u want us to tell you? Your husband's story sounds like it makes sense? You can just monitor this and it will be ok? As soon as god son is gone things will be back to normal? How about kick both of them out and who gives a sh!t where they go? This guest disrespected your family. Your husband cheated. Unless this 22 year old is handicapped he can figure out the shower concept. Christ my 5 year old somehow mastered it. Come On. If you want to bury head in sand then just ignore it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

I've been on this and similar sites for a bit longer than my 3+ years implies, and I've read A LOT. And I've suspected trolling A LOT. But I also read a credible thread started by a guy who, among other things, caught his naked wife climbing off of a naked man and she said "it isn't what it looks like". And at the end of the post he ended with, and I'm paraphrasing, "so what do you guys all think, is she cheating"?

You don't seem to be asking if he's been gay his whole life (answer, yes). You don't seem to be asking if it was just a one-time experiment (I doubt it). You are asking if it was a homoerotic experience or a lesson in hygiene. 

I will say it again. Go to a gay relationship sight and ask the experts. I'm pretty sure they are not too cool with one of their "members", for lack of a better term, ruining the lives of innocent people because they are ashamed of who they are. I think you'll get the advice you need.


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

survivorwife said:


> Ah, no. A 22 year old man *knows* how to take a shower. A 22 year year old man does not need an older man to strip naked and *join* him in the shower in order to teach the younger man how to clean himself.
> 
> It is exactly what the OP thinks it is. Her H is cheating on her with a person of the same sex. That doesn't make for a "kind and caring" man and certainly not for a H.


I do believe that was sarcasm.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

golfergirl said:


> I do believe that was sarcasm.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Too Funny.

But just to be absolutely clear, so as there is no mistaking what my post meant:

That was a homoerotic experience you caught them in.


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## AniaR (Feb 9, 2013)

My advice is to calmly raise the issue with both of them. They may lie to you, but at least they'll be aware of your concerns.

Aside from that, you can ask your godson and mother to leave. Mind you, you will still have the problem how you to deal with your husband - a 53 y.o. man pretty much taking advantage of his household position with your 23 y.o. godson.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Your husband is messing around and cheating on you with your godson. Age doesn't make a difference, the godson is a grown man. 

It's time to kick both the godson and husband out. Let the mother know what's happening.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Tell the boy's mother.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AniaR (Feb 9, 2013)

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> Your husband is messing around and cheating on you with your godson. Age doesn't make a difference, the godson is a grown man.
> 
> It's time to kick both the godson and husband out. Let the mother know what's happening.


I disagree. Age makes a hell of a difference in this case. There is a 30 year difference in experience and a duty of care.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I can't decide whether it is better that you learned sooner rather than later about your husband; or if you and your husband should not have shown the generosity that you did. Would you have been betrayed anyway...... and by your god son as well.

As someone else asked, think back, did your husband ever say or do anything that made you wonder if he had any **** sexual tendencies.

And how does your god son's mother feel about this?


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

AniaR said:


> I disagree. Age makes a hell of a difference in this case. There is a 30 year difference in experience and a duty of care.


But legally speaking, there is no issue here. It would be no different age wise than if the husband were showering with a 22 year old god daughter.


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## AniaR (Feb 9, 2013)

NextTimeAround said:


> But legally speaking, there is no issue here. It would be no different age wise than if the husband were showering with a 22 year old god daughter.



Legally there is no issue between a 16 y.o. being involved with a 46 y.o - they are both over the age of consent. Legally or not, I have ethical problems with such difference in ages when one is still in his early 20s.

I do not believe the experience and maturity of a 23 y.o. matches someone 3 decades older. It's likely the 23 y.o. is paying "board" for him and his mother.


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## anja (Mar 12, 2013)

golfergirl said:


> I do believe that was sarcasm.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yup.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

AniaR said:


> Legally there is no issue between a 16 y.o. being involved with a 46 y.o - they are both over the age of consent. Legally or not, I have ethical problems with such difference in ages when one is still in his early 20s.


Where are you from? Here in the US, the 46 YO goes to jail. But we all agree there are no legal problems, and let's not split hairs on the ethical lapses. There were plenty to be spread around.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

AniaR said:


> Legally there is no issue between a 16 y.o. being involved with a 46 y.o - they are both over the age of consent. Legally or not, I have ethical problems with such difference in ages when one is still in his early 20s.
> 
> I do not believe the experience and maturity of a 23 y.o. matches someone 3 decades older. It's likely the 23 y.o. is paying "board" for him and his mother.


What ethical issue is there? Some young people are predators as much as the older people.

Have a look at Wendy D eng's wikipedia page:

In 1987 Deng met an American businessman and his wife, Jake and Joyce Cherry, who had temporarily relocated to China to help build a refrigerator factory. Deng asked the couple for tutoring lessons in English, which Joyce eventually provided. In 1988, she abandoned her medical studies and traveled to the United States to study, with the Cherrys sponsoring Deng’s student visa. Upon her arrival to the United States, Deng briefly lived with Jake and Joyce Cherry and attended university. Joyce Cherry discovered her husband Jake was having an affair with Deng, who was 30 years his junior, and demanded she leave the house. Jake Cherry soon followed and moved in with her,[8] and the two married in 1990.[7] Deng and Cherry's marriage lasted 2 years and 7 months before they were legally divorced,[8] but he would later explain they only stayed together for 4 or 5 months,[7] after which he learned of the affair Deng had with David Wolf, a man closer to her age.[7] Nonetheless, she had been able to secure a green card through her marriage to Cherry.[7][8]


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

AniaR said:


> Legally there is no issue between a 16 y.o. being involved with a 46 y.o - they are both over the age of consent. Legally or not, I have ethical problems with such difference in ages when one is still in his early 20s.
> 
> I do not believe the experience and maturity of a 23 y.o. matches someone 3 decades older. * It's likely the 23 y.o. is paying "board" for him and his mother*.


He was getting board, therefore, there was nothing wrong in his paying for board. If he was paying for his mother as well, then that's a matter between him and his mother.

If the OP and her husband were "charging too much" then that would give great scope to choosing alternative accommodations whose price tag then would surely be less.


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## melindag (May 21, 2013)

No, my husband has never shown any homosexual habits as long as we've been married. This is the first time that I have ever suspected him of being gay. We are going to sit down this evening and discuss what happened. I will tell them how I feel and see if I can pick up any hints of what happened. Also, I have not told his mother yet.


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## Hortensia (Feb 1, 2013)

Your husband must be bisexual but kept the gay side very well hidden. Even if there is nothing going on, he's flirting with the idea and fantasizes. If there is no PA yet. A voice recorder or a tiny little camera in the bedroom/bathroom may help confirm or infirm your suspicions while you're at work.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

Hortensia said:


> Your husband must be bisexual


I am very skeptical of the existence of the bisexual man. Unlike women who's sexuality can be more fluid, men are either gay or not. Bisexual, to me, means he's gay but trying to adapt to a heterosexual world.


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## Nujabes (May 16, 2013)

Whoa this is crazy!


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Vaseline?! Ummm...yeah. They actually use lube these days.

OP - Yes, he had sex with a MAN in the shower. Okay, so what do you want to do about that?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

This cannot end well.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## donkey_punch (Jan 15, 2013)

WTF! Your husband and grandson, both naked in a bathroom with erection... Looks like you just caught them before the back stomping happened.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

NextTimeAround said:


> What ethical issue is there? Some young people are predators as much as the older people.
> 
> Have a look at Wendy D eng's wikipedia page:
> 
> In 1987 Deng met an American businessman and his wife, Jake and Joyce Cherry, who had temporarily relocated to China to help build a refrigerator factory. Deng asked the couple for tutoring lessons in English, which Joyce eventually provided. In 1988, she abandoned her medical studies and traveled to the United States to study, with the Cherrys sponsoring Deng’s student visa. Upon her arrival to the United States, Deng briefly lived with Jake and Joyce Cherry and attended university. Joyce Cherry discovered her husband Jake was having an affair with Deng, who was 30 years his junior, and demanded she leave the house. Jake Cherry soon followed and moved in with her,[8] and the two married in 1990.[7] Deng and Cherry's marriage lasted 2 years and 7 months before they were legally divorced,[8] but he would later explain they only stayed together for 4 or 5 months,[7] after which he learned of the affair Deng had with David Wolf, a man closer to her age.[7] Nonetheless, she had been able to secure a green card through her marriage to Cherry.[7][8]


The only two things about that story which strike me as relevant is the fact that Joyce Cherry demanded that Deng leave the house, and that she and her husband divorced.


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## NaturalHeart (Nov 13, 2011)

anja said:


> Your husband is a kind and caring man and you should be glad to have him!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Please tell me what the hell this means?:scratchhead:


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

NaturalHeart said:


> Please tell me what the hell this means?:scratchhead:


It was sarcasm, but dry enough that I missed it too.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

GTdad said:


> The only two things about that story which strike me as relevant is the fact that Joyce Cherry demanded that Deng leave the house, and that she and her husband divorced.



and ...... that Wendy Deng was the younger in this scenario and doesn't seem to be abused or taken advantage of at all.

Just because one is older in a situation doesn't insulate that person from being taken advantage of by someone who happens to be younger....... even 3 decades younger.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

NextTimeAround said:


> and ...... that Wendy Deng was the younger in this scenario and doesn't seem to be abused or taken advantage of at all.
> 
> Just because one is older in a situation doesn't insulate that person from being taken advantage of by someone who happens to be younger....... even 3 decades younger.


It doesn't matter who was taking advantage of who. The age difference just adds an extra level of ickiness to the whole thing. They were practically, if not fully, having sex in the shower. The OP needs to bring a big hammer down on this sh*t.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

GTdad said:


> It doesn't matter who was taking advantage of who. The age difference just adds an extra level of ickiness to the whole thing. They were practically, if not fully, having sex in the shower. *The OP needs to bring a big hammer down on this sh*t.*


I agree with the bolded.

Another poster mentioned that there was an ethical, if not legal, issue given the 3 decade age difference....... as if the older person necessarily has the upper hand in all relationships. I was giving an example in which that is not always true.


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## boogie110 (Aug 3, 2012)

Oh Gosh Melindag:

If this really is true - I'm so very sorry. Sorry about the question, if this is true, but sometimes the stories seem so out there that it is stranger than fiction - yours being the case, unfortunately.

There is nothing wrong with being gay. There is nothing wrong with being bi. There is nothing wrong with wanting to play the field. But there is everything wrong in your husband showering up with a man - - because he is cheating on you. You also are in trauma because you saw it - you actually interrupted it. You are in even more trauma because the young man is your god son. You are in even more trauma because the length of time you have been married - the long time you have given this man - your whole adult life, and now you find out he likes men, let alone cheats on you with a guest who uses your home and food and money and your husband.

You are questioning your very sanity. They are gas lighting you = mental abusing you - no wonder you are coming to TAM to find some light at the end of the tunnel.

But as you can see, we are all telling you the tunnel is dark - completely dark. You have no where to go except to accept the truth - whether or not they confess - you, me and the rest of us know...he cheated - with a man - in the shower - your god son. That is what we all know.


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

MrK said:


> I am very skeptical of the existence of the bisexual man. Unlike women who's sexuality can be more fluid, men are either gay or not. Bisexual, to me, means he's gay but trying to adapt to a heterosexual world.


Interesting. I don't understand this point. My brother is gay, his partner is like family and I know a lot of his friends. I can tell you my brother has no interest in women whatsoever and would not stay happily married to a woman until his early 50s, assuming they had an active sex life. There is no way he could feign interest in having sex with women for 30 years ... or at all actually. He would actually have to have at least some sexual interest in women. You don't hear about a whole lot of heterosexuals who pretend to love getting anal and sucking d!cks in homosexual relationships until their "straightness" is exposed. Do you think you could do that? I know I couldn't. That example might sound ridiculous because it is ridiculous ... unless the man was bisexual instead of heterosexual. Her husband is sexually attracted to her but as it turns out, he is also sexually attracted to this guy. I really find it hard to believe that you are either gay or you're not and it is impossible for some people to fall in-between ... that just doesn't make sense.


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## boogie110 (Aug 3, 2012)

MrK said:


> I am very skeptical of the existence of the bisexual man. Unlike women who's sexuality can be more fluid, men are either gay or not. Bisexual, to me, means he's gay but trying to adapt to a heterosexual world.


I should really let this go because this is not truly what the thread is about, however...

I totally understand and get why you say this - so this is not an attack at all on you or for writing it. It is complete disagreement with such statements - that are written all the time.

It is illogical to me to state such things: women can be with both, men can't. 

The reasons - I believe exist in history and because gays are so open now - HETEROSEXUAL MEN will do anything to prove they are for vaginas only. Since the late '80's when men were more fluid in their hair, their dress, especially the 70's where you could see their dong in all the tight jeans and the cut offs were almost as high as the women's... Then homosexuality became more accepted. So to differentiate themselves completely from homosexuals, heterosexual men went to the complete end of the spectrum: Very long shorts, very loose shorts, very ugly dress, as in unattractive jeans that are very loose and ugly t shirts, hats that are ugly... This is all more unattractive to gays and more heterosexual. It does not matter that women find this unattractive either, it is more important that heterosexual men show their dominance hence the extreme in dress compared to the past few decades and includes many centuries of men dressing very feminine. Yes there were some decades that men's dress were not as feminine however it was not as disgusting and gross as it is now - completely opposite as how homosexual's dress.

Now sayings like "that's so gay" persist demanding that men be men and gays are gays and you better not mesh the two or act similar otherwise you will be labeled a pu$$y or gay.

There are many other examples in this and other western cultures where men and fashion are interlocked so that one does not intrude upon the other so that heterosexual men will never even slightly come off as gay. You can disagree all you want, just like I can disagree women are fluid and men aren't. 

Also, for most of the history of women, women will do anything for money (not all - sex trade women) and men will do anything for sex (not all - just using the common generalities here). Women had no power at all for all of history - all of it - until now in this country, and even we will not elect them to the highest position. So women have done what they must to survive, whether moral or not. They become sex trade workers who will do both men and women or animals or things or all at once...all for money. Men will pay for this disgusting behavior all for sexual excitement.
Women have been more fluid because culture tells us to be that way and it is easy to fall prey, again, women are dictated by men (oh god, here come the feminists - I am too, I just understand world history, ok?) and still are today, this day..Women because of their powerlessness against men (they are weak, men have muscle - so much so that even men are afraid of other men - just imagine being 5'3'' and 110 lbs with little muscle and being afraid of all men from the time most boys are 13 until men are 70 or more - we have no chance - only the hope that most men are not monsters) have even succumbed to being a part of a harem in order for their survival, hence the religions that allow many wives.

So women are fluid because it is allowed, even pushed, in our society and in all societies. For men, save the past histories of many countries, it is the opposite - it is not allowed for you will be labeled gay - the worst label any heterosexual man can hear, save child molester.

Also, because men are walking around with a huge amount of the sex drug, testosterone, flowing thru their veins every minute - men are easily induced into men on men sex, as in jails, concentration camps, any existence where women are not available or not allowed, such as certain religions for example.
This poor woman is married to a bi-sexual man.


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## Nsweet (Mar 3, 2012)

Now hold on, wait a minute, let's back up here. Everyone wants to quickly diagnose her husband as a homosexual cheater, but we haven't heard his side of the story yet. True, it looks really bad, but it's all circumstantial evidence and he may have been just taking a shower with her godson. That may be a different thing in his culture, who knows, we don't have enough to go on yet.

I hope that's what really happened and it was a lapse of judgement, but I want to hear what he has to say first and not judge this on her suspicions. And I'm thinking this possible "Tester Affair", you know the "it just happened" situation cheaters take before having an emotional affair and pulling away, this warrants a strong ultimatum and crystal clear transparency on his part. 

Other than that I'm highly suspicious of this being another troll thread.


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## boogie110 (Aug 3, 2012)

Nsweet said:


> Now hold on, wait a minute, let's back up here. Everyone wants to quickly diagnose her husband as a homosexual cheater, but we haven't heard his side of the story yet. True, it looks really bad, but it's all circumstantial evidence and he may have been just taking a shower with her godson. That may be a different thing in his culture, who knows, we don't have enough to go on yet.
> 
> I hope that's what really happened and it was a lapse of judgement, but I want to hear what he has to say first and not judge this on her suspicions. And I'm thinking this possible "Tester Affair", you know the "it just happened" situation cheaters take before having an emotional affair and pulling away, this warrants a strong ultimatum and crystal clear transparency on his part.
> 
> Other than that I'm highly suspicious of this being another troll thread.


I totally agree with this too, good post, anything and everything is possible.:iagree:


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

JustSomeGuyWho said:


> Interesting. I don't understand this point. My brother is gay, his partner is like family and I know a lot of his friends. I can tell you my brother has no interest in women whatsoever and would not stay happily married to a woman until his early 50s, assuming they had an active sex life. There is no way he could feign interest in having sex with women for 30 years ... or at all actually. He would actually have to have at least some sexual interest in women. You don't hear about a whole lot of heterosexuals who pretend to love getting anal and sucking d!cks in homosexual relationships until their "straightness" is exposed. Do you think you could do that? I know I couldn't. That example might sound ridiculous because it is ridiculous ... unless the man was bisexual instead of heterosexual. Her husband is sexually attracted to her but as it turns out, he is also sexually attracted to this guy. I really find it hard to believe that you are either gay or you're not and it is impossible for some people to fall in-between ... that just doesn't make sense.


Google "men on the down low". Read about Rock Hudson. I quite frankly am surprised that you have a gay brother, hence know the gay community more than I do, and are so surprised to hear that gay men marry straight, unsuspecting women and stay married for years without them knowing. I was getting ready for you to tell me that you know for a fact that your brother's sexuality is fluid (bi) and I am wrong. 

I don't think I am. OP: How horny does your husband get for you? I'd take my wife three times a day if I could, and she's no Rhianna (I'd never leave the house if I were married to Rhianna. Mmmm....Rhianna). And I'm 50+


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

Nsweet said:


> Now hold on, wait a minute, let's back up here. Everyone wants to quickly diagnose her husband as a homosexual cheater, but we haven't heard his side of the story yet. True, it looks really bad, but it's all circumstantial evidence and he may have been just taking a shower with her godson. That may be a different thing in his culture, who knows, we don't have enough to go on yet.
> 
> I hope that's what really happened and it was a lapse of judgement, but I want to hear what he has to say first and not judge this on her suspicions. And I'm thinking this possible "Tester Affair", you know the "it just happened" situation cheaters take before having an emotional affair and pulling away, this warrants a strong ultimatum and crystal clear transparency on his part.
> 
> Other than that I'm highly suspicious of this being another troll thread.


Troll, maybe. If not...

THEY BOTH HAD BONER'S, for god sake!


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## Nsweet (Mar 3, 2012)

MrK said:


> Troll, maybe. If not...
> 
> THEY BOTH HAD BONER'S, for god sake!


Maybe they grabbed the Herbal Essences by mistake.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Sorry, I draw the line somewhere.

If they were showering _at the same time_ in an open shower space at a gym....okay.....

in the same shower stall at the same time........ no, fvckin' way.


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## Kimberley17 (Oct 10, 2011)

boogie110 said:


> I totally agree with this too, good post, anything and everything is possible.:iagree:


Um, if innocent why would they both have erections????


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

MrK said:


> Google "men on the down low". Read about Rock Hudson. I quite frankly am surprised that you have a gay brother, hence know the gay community more than I do, and are so surprised to hear that gay men marry straight, unsuspecting women and stay married for years without them knowing. I was getting ready for you to tell me that you know for a fact that your brother's sexuality is fluid (bi) and I am wrong.
> 
> I don't think I am. OP: How horny does your husband get for you? I'd take my wife three times a day if I could, and she's no Rhianna (I'd never leave the house if I were married to Rhianna. Mmmm....Rhianna). And I'm 50+


No, I KNOW friends of his that were married in heterosexual relationships and came out. That is NOT what I was saying. 

My point is this - As a heterosexual, you personally would not have sex with a man. If you are like me, the thought is so unappealing, that you would rather french kiss your sister than kiss a man let alone have sex with him. Just not going to happen. 

My brother feels the same way about having sex with a woman that you and I would feel about having sex with a man. Just not going to happen.

It would seem unlikely to have a long-term marriage to a woman with a satisfying sex life and NOT have some sexual attraction to women. Suddenly because he is caught in a shower with a man and he has an erection that he's had hundreds of times for his wife, he is strictly gay? No, that would make him bisexual. 

Not only do I KNOW men who have come out after heterosexual relationships, it wasn't that long ago that one of his "gay" friends was caught having an affair with a woman. Now, these people may prefer men over women and identify themselves as being "gay" or the other way around and identify themselves as being "straight" but the attraction still exists. An attraction that you and I simply don't have for members of the same sex.

I am not an expert in this. I don't spend time talking to my brother about all things that are "gay" In fact, we hardly talk about it at all. I suppose early on after he came out we talked about it extensively. We all knew he was gay so when he finally "announced" it, there wasn't much of a reaction except ... "well duh, finally." Over the years I have met many of his friends, heard many of the stories, have had some involvement in his social life ... heck, my wife and I went to one of his "clubs" with him and danced the night away many years ago. He's had a couple of very long term partners and both of them have been accepted as part of the family. That does not make me an expert but based on what I do know, seen and heard along with a little logic tells me that the idea that every man is either gay or straight with nothing in between doesn't make sense ... or more succinctly, you are wrong.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

anja said:


> Your husband is a kind and caring man and you should be glad to have him!


:scratchhead:


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