# Broken hearted mom



## Sukisue1234 (Jan 17, 2018)

My question is what to do about a 15 year dilemma about my oldest daughters dad lies to our grown daughter, he wasn't around by his choosing even told his family and her he wanted nothing to do with them if they couldn't get along with his nasty second wife.our child was 6 years old mind you,, due to his nasty second wife's hatred of me and our child, she tried to tell me he was molesting our daughter once and even told me I should have aborted our daughter as she was conceived when we lived together un married before they even met. Nasty nasty woman, The problem is I believe I'm being blamed now that she's grown for the fact that he wasn't around, and chose this womans children over his own child,, his family was always in her life as I made sure she saw them anytime they asked and invited them to things she was involved in,, she grew up with a step dad that helped raise her,, and after her dad told them all his whole family including pointing to her that he wouldn't have anything to do with anyone in his family if they couldn't get along with the nasty evil wife, I called him up and asked her father to pay up his back support of,150.00 a month for 4 years and I would just have my husband adopt her as he was raising her along side me and loved her very much,, her father's reply was that's my daughter lol,, but never came around again till she was 18 and then again in her 30,s. My question is should I tell her that her father's mom is the one who told me he had done all this back when she was 6,, and that is the reason I asked him to let my husband adopt her, I was made aware he is telling her this is the reason for him not being in her life??,, and it has caused my daughter blame me and not treat me well at all for ten years or so since he's been in the picture again it's like I don't exist anymore and am being punished for his choices back years ago, as well as he has told several people that I got pregnant on purpose to collect his measly 150 dollar checks he never sent unless child support got on his butt, he has three kids he never helped raise all by different moms same deal but he never had any visitation with them at all ,, now he's father of the year,,, and I'm on the daughter s punished list, or so it seems since she's told me I should've given her to him lol,, should I tell her the truth , I don't want her and her father's relationship upset but I feel sometimes he is deliberately doing this to ours by lies he's telling her and others, you know it's a fact my mom sat us both down 36 years ago and told us we should go get me on birth control so he knows it's lies he's saying . The truth is he didn't come around till after he ended that marriage and she was no longer in the picture to create his family life with her children


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

You may want to re-read this and make some changes as a lot of it just doesnt make sense.


----------



## Sukisue1234 (Jan 17, 2018)

Thanks fixed the post,,


----------



## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

I’m sorry, I feel it’s so hard to read your posts. You need sentences, end sentences with punctuation marks. Separate thoughts, uses paragraphs.


----------



## Sukisue1234 (Jan 17, 2018)

RebuildingMe said:


> I’m sorry, I feel it’s so hard to read your posts. You need sentences, end sentences with punctuation marks. Separate thoughts, uses paragraphs.


I'm sorry I'm disabled so it's just how I write stuff. The whole post has punchtion.


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Look, your daughter is 15, so you need to sit down and tell her the truth. Do you have any texts, emails, etc. from that time? If so, show them to her. YOU should not have to bear the brunt of HIM being a dirtbag.

She needs to know the truth so that SHE can make up her own mind about how she wants to live going forward.
You say you don't want to mess up THEIR relationship, but by not being truthful, you are destroying YOUR relationship with her. Be honest, be truthful, answer her questions...

EDT: I misread -- I thought her D was 15!!! My response still stands though


----------



## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Sorry, I don't understand what you're trying to say. Do you mean that your husband has told your daughter that you kept her from him? Or did his mum tell her that?


----------



## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

I think you are saying that your daughter is in her 30's. If so, she is a grown woman and you are doing her no favors by keeping the truth from her. She should have been told the truth a long time ago.

Be prepared for her to disbelieve you. It may be that her desire to have a dad after feeling the absence for so long will overpower her own memory of what her childhood was really like. You are in a bad spot and I feel for you. From my own perspective, I would rather someone hate me for things of which I am actually guilty than because of lies that someone else planted. 

Good luck to you.


----------



## Sukisue1234 (Jan 17, 2018)

is


frusdil said:


> Sorry, I don't understand what you're trying to say. Do you mean that your husband has told your daughter that you kept her from him? Or did his mum tell her that?


 his mother told me about the incident that he and his ex did,



zookeeper said:


> I think you are saying that your daughter is in her 30's. If so, she is a grown woman and you are doing her no favors by keeping the truth from her. She should have been told the truth a long time ago.
> 
> Be prepared for her to disbelieve you. It may be that her desire to have a dad after feeling the absence for so long will overpower her own memory of what her childhood was really like. You are in a bad spot and I feel for you. From my own perspective, I would rather someone hate me for things of which I am actually guilty than because of lies that


----------



## Sukisue1234 (Jan 17, 2018)

frusdil said:


> Sorry, I don't understand what you're trying to say. Do you mean that your husband has told your daughter that you kept her from him? Or did his mum tell her that?


He told her I wanted my husband to adopt her and that I didn't want him in her life,


----------



## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Sukisue1234 said:


> is his mother told me about the incident that he and his ex did,


What incident is that?


----------

