# Hurting and confused..



## jo2106 (May 27, 2013)

I've never done this before so I'm not sure how to go about sharing so I'll just jump in.

I am 42 married for 9 years and have two kids aged 7 & 8. Thought everything was going great until I rec'd an email telling me my husband was having an affair.
Confronted husband, who denied anything was going on as did the woman. Told him to pull his head in and left it at that.
NOW two weeks later I answer his/our phone and find a text message that he sent to her and she sent back that confirmed his affections where being shared elsewhere. I went over and confronted the woman who thought the whole thing was so funny so I slapped her in the face twice ( yes I know I shouldn't have but I did) 
Husband has admitted to well not really after I found the evidence he has confessed his sins and says he is sorry that he stuffed up blah blah blah.

I really cannot stand the sight of him, how could he put his family on the line for a woman who is known as the town *****. (oh I live in a town of about 240 people). Everytime I see his stupid crying face I just want to slap it..

How can I go on when he picked her over me?? Am I really that horrible a wife and person that he had to pick her...

My kids think I'm being mean to their dad even though I keep the shouting and yelling bad mouthing etc away from them...

WTF am I gonna do??? When the man I loved did this to me...


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## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

He didn't pick her....she made herself available and he took the opportunity. 

You have to decide if you want to be with a man who did this. And you have to decide if you want to see this woman's face at the local gas station every ten days.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

I agree...he was weak and she took advantage and he chose to take the easy way out and take what was offered.

So now you have to decide what to do about it.

Is this a deal breaker in your marriage?

Is this something you could get past (forgive but not forget)?

Right now the wound is fresh and you are hurt. 

Take some time to think things over (DO NOT in any fashion blame yourself, that's what he wants), he is the one who chose not to keep his pants zipped, not you. 

Then, when the hurt and pain is not so sharp, decide what is important to you...to save your marriage or to move on.

No one can make this decision for you, except you - only you have to live with the consequences of your choice.

So relax, take the time to figure it out and then do what is best for YOU and your children.

Good luck!


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## Thumper (Mar 23, 2013)

I'm sorry your here, in such a small town this feels even worse im sure. Word gets out pretty fast.

Agree with above, the choice is yours, don't be hasty in your decision thou. Come here for support advice, or just to vent.

Good luck.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

jo2106 said:


> I've never done this before so I'm not sure how to go about sharing so I'll just jump in.
> 
> I am 42 married for 9 years and have two kids aged 7 & 8. Thought everything was going great until I rec'd an email telling me my husband was having an affair.
> Confronted husband, who denied anything was going on as did the woman. Told him to pull his head in and left it at that.
> ...


Clearly he has no respect or love for you.

The answer is simple.

Divorce.

It hurts, but there is a much better life for you ahead when you are out of this toxic relationship.


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## Porcupine (Apr 11, 2013)

Jo

My issue with the whole thing is that he denied it at first and then you found out a second time and THEN he apologised and came clean.

And secondly she thought it was funny?? :scratchhead: that for me would have been the end of it all. 

In my experience, if you're getting emails, by now the whole town knows about it. So...... how do you feel about that?


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

For many, myself included, this would be an absolute deal breaker. However, only you can decide if it is for you... You might want to talk to a counselor to sort out your thoughts before making any decisions.


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## freshstart08 (Sep 17, 2013)

You need time to let things be processed and if you both are in agreement that you want to work things out then you both need to seek counseling for yourselves and then together with a marriage counselor before deciding to call it quits... did he ever give you a reason why he cheated? If he hasn't and you ask him don't let him try to put the blame on you... he was the weak one! He will probably say that she made him feel good about himself and that she told him he is handsome and sexy and that drew him in  Its a tough decision that only you know the answer to in your heart.


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## moto164 (Aug 4, 2013)

Old thread


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