# Got to be strong!



## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

I got to be strong. Finish this! Stay the course...


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Divorce still in the works?


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> Divorce still in the works?




Yes


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## Tatsuhiko (Jun 21, 2016)

She never deserved to be married to you. You already know you don't have the full truth and never will. Continue with the divorce just to set history as it should have been. She never deserved the honor of being Mrs. StillSearching. Make it come true.

You can still date her or still just function as co-parents. She can try to win you back.


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## 2arebetter (May 3, 2016)

Same boat as you. We can do this...


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Sending you guys my I am the **** attitude nothing can stop me now!

Not that you need it sounds like you doing just fine!


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

Man today is better than yesterday!
I got tricked, I got manipulated, I got abused....for years.
But I'm so close to freedom I can smell it!


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Freeeeedooommmm!


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## Silverbird (Mar 2, 2018)

I can't get a divorce yet, have to be separated officially for 12 months first. STBXH has got a new partner already so don't know how I'm supposed to be moving forward this year until this is over with. I know I can still work on myself until then so that when the time comes I will be ready for that new chapter. I'm doing this for my kids. I just have to remember them in all this.


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## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

Silverbird said:


> I can't get a divorce yet, have to be separated officially for 12 months first. STBXH has got a new partner already so don't know how I'm supposed to be moving forward this year until this is over with. I know I can still work on myself until then so that when the time comes I will be ready for that new chapter. I'm doing this for my kids. I just have to remember them in all this.


Yeah, not a great situation from any way you look at it but we'll come out better for it eventually. My STBXW's affair has been, let's say postponed again after the OM's wife found out again. We have to be in the same house for another 3.5 months but guessing they are just waiting for his wife to cool down and start trusting him again. I had all the evidence in the world for the lawyers and the custody people and they could of cared less, still have to stick it out. Don't really understand why rules are even put in place if one person doesn't have to follow them. She can do whatever she pleases and I have to pick up the slack but oh well, I wouldn't want to be on the other side anyway. My dedication to the kids and conscience + integrity keep in me check.


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## annierose7995 (Mar 11, 2018)

Keep your heads up guys, don't forget who you are in all of this. The relationship is one aspect of you, but don't neglect your personal self either. I'm in my second marriage now, the first one ended because of my ex husbands affair with his co worker. So I've been there. Now married to a Christian guy who loves me and would never do that so just know it gets better.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

stillfightingforus said:


> Yeah, not a great situation from any way you look at it but we'll come out better for it eventually. My STBXW's affair has been, let's say postponed again after the OM's wife found out again. We have to be in the same house for another 3.5 months but guessing they are just waiting for his wife to cool down and start trusting him again. I had all the evidence in the world for the lawyers and the custody people and they could of cared less, still have to stick it out. Don't really understand why rules are even put in place if one person doesn't have to follow them. She can do whatever she pleases and I have to pick up the slack but oh well, I wouldn't want to be on the other side anyway. My dedication to the kids and conscience + integrity keep in me check.


If you can't pull a hard 180 it'll just make this worse than it has to be.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

As she signs the decree today why is it still hard to let go of my abuser?
I get the house, I get my youngest kid and 2k a month in alimony.
Yet after 25 years of emotional abuse I find it sad to let go. 
I feel like Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn who spent his life in the Gulag not really wanting to let it go.
Half a life of pain will make you wonder If you could recognize life without it.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

StillSearching said:


> As she signs the decree today why is it still hard to let go of my abuser?
> I get the house, I get my youngest kid and 2k a month in alimony.
> Yet after 25 years of emotional abuse I find it sad to let go.
> I feel like Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn who spent his life in the Gulag not really wanting to let it go.
> Half a life of pain will make wonder If you could recognize life without it.


Courage my friend. You must will yourself to have hope, mostly because there is hope. You are like the guy with OCD who can't leave his house. Once you leave the house you find out it's not as bad as you though. Sure it's scary, but honestly life should be scary, it makes it fun and intense.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

sokillme said:


> Courage my friend. You must will yourself to have hope, mostly because there is hope. You are like the guy with OCD who can't leave his house. Once you leave the house you find out it's not as bad as you though. Sure it's scary, but honestly life should be scary, it makes it fun and intense.


Yes, I do understand life is dangerous and unpredictable. 
It's what makes it worth living.
I intend to go into the unknown forthrightly and manifest a better life.
But think I have a bit of stockholm syndrome or something like that.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

sokillme said:


> Courage my friend. You must will yourself to have hope, mostly because there is hope. You are like the guy with OCD who can't leave his house. Once you leave the house you find out it's not as bad as you though. Sure it's scary, but honestly life should be scary, it makes it fun and intense.


 Check your PMs


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

So update.
The WW is been living away in an apt. for a month.
Served her papers Tuesday.
There is much more to the story over the past 9 months but i'll skip to why she's out of the house for the past month.
I caught her advertising on craigslist and sending pics and emails to several guys.
She want's me to go back to having sex with her on her terms then leave her apt.
She is a cake eater and it will never happen. Can't wait for her to sign...Monday terms change to Adultery to force it, if she won't sign the first one.
She just texted me to tell me she's masturbating....insanity!

Hoping it goes smooth this weekend.


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