# Does she prefer her EX over me?



## Biscuits (Aug 2, 2012)

Here is my situation. I posted this already on the infidelity board, but have come over here to seek advice on the portion of our sex life.

The details; I met my wife while doing search and rescue at a tornado ravaged area near our home town. We hit it off right away and started talking. She had just gotten out of an engagement, she said he cheated, and was dating another guy. So, I took things slow with her, being respectful of her choice in men. She broke it off with her boyfriend and I pursued, and we started getting serious a few months later. The first time we had sex, it was mind blowing for me, she got hers too! Now, throughout the course of our relationship her EX has come and gone in many forms, ranging from text, phone conversations, facebook messages, and finally her cheating on me with him. Here is the issue. She has told me that he was "larger" in that area, and Im nothing special, barely breaking "average" on a good day. HOWEVER, I have confidence in my abilities and do everything else I need to make sure my wife is happy in the bed room. She has told me that I made her cum more times in the first month of her and I being together than the entire time she was with her EX, (ok, now Im not gullible. I understand that she isnt going to be honest with me about her sex life with her ex) I found out that she cheated on me with him, (apparently, she just needed to get it from him) the circumstances are complicated, but from what I gather she met him in a hotel strictly for sex, no feelings, no emotional connection, just sex. 

Now, Im dealing with that in my own way, the question that keeps coming up in my mind is;

Did she prefer to be with him because he's larger than me? She told me that I'm great in bed, not the best, probably because of size, but I know what I'm doing and I'm very focused on keeping her happy and pleased in ALL aspects of our sex life. Is this something that I need to worry about in the future? I'm facing a mental road block as well due to her infidelity, whenever I think of her sexually, I can only imagine her with him because of her cheating on me. I know this isnt the infidelity board, but what can I do to either claim that part of my life back, or know that she prefers to have him as a sexual partner and let her go back to him?


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## lovingsummer (Jul 27, 2012)

Did she tell you that in the beginning of your relationship that he was bigger, etc?


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## Biscuits (Aug 2, 2012)

lovingsummer said:


> Did she tell you that in the beginning of your relationship that he was bigger, etc?


Yes, about a month after our first time having sex. She mentioned that I did more for her in other areas, but he was bigger.


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## lovingsummer (Jul 27, 2012)

Wow... I can't imagine saying that to a man... hmmm

Why was she ok with ex showing up in different forms while being in a relationship with you? Why were you? 

Anyway, back to subject, I would say no IMO it didn't have to do with size. Not for me anyway, it's more about the person and how they use it.


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## Ano (Jun 7, 2012)

My ex was bigger and wayyyyyy better in bed then my husband is. But I would never cheat just for sex.

She still has feelings for him. He hurt her. They broke up over his wrong doing...not because she didn't love him anymore.

When it comes to love, size does not matter.


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

Biscuits said:


> Here is my situation. I posted this already on the infidelity board, but have come over here to seek advice on the portion of our sex life.
> 
> The details; I met my wife while doing search and rescue at a tornado ravaged area near our home town. We hit it off right away and started talking. She had just gotten out of an engagement, she said he cheated, and was dating another guy. So, I took things slow with her, being respectful of her choice in men. She broke it off with her boyfriend and I pursued, and we started getting serious a few months later. The first time we had sex, it was mind blowing for me, she got hers too! Now, throughout the course of our relationship her EX has come and gone in many forms, ranging from text, phone conversations, facebook messages, and finally her cheating on me with him. Here is the issue. She has told me that he was "larger" in that area, and Im nothing special, barely breaking "average" on a good day. HOWEVER, I have confidence in my abilities and do everything else I need to make sure my wife is happy in the bed room. She has told me that I made her cum more times in the first month of her and I being together than the entire time she was with her EX, (ok, now Im not gullible. I understand that she isnt going to be honest with me about her sex life with her ex) I found out that she cheated on me with him, (apparently, she just needed to get it from him) the circumstances are complicated, but from what I gather she met him in a hotel strictly for sex, no feelings, no emotional connection, just sex.
> 
> ...


I am sorry. I don't think she is over her ex & it has very little to do with penis size. The ex is a sleaze for cheating with a married women.

Can you set up some boundaries regarding him? Are you afraid to lose her if you do?


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

I can't answer the question but I hope for the love of God you run from this chick. Who cares if everything she said is true or not? How freaking hurtful and disrespectful is that to say to someone you supposedly care about?

Tell her she's alright, but the tits on your ex were way nicer, and then go suck on them and tell her it didn't mean anything, you just had to have them in your mouth because they were just nicer than your current girlfriends.


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

Biscuits said:


> Did she prefer to be with him because he's larger than me?


Maybe. Some women prefer larger. Some women prefer smaller. Some women don't care.



Biscuits said:


> Is this something that I need to worry about in the future?


That she's going to cheat on you? Absolutely. She's given you a sneak preview into married life with her. She doesn't have boundaries with other men. Most women won't continue a friendship with a past sexual partner when they have committed to another man. Most women won't delve into their sexual past with their current boyfriend, unless it's to reassure the boyfriend that he's better than her past lovers.

Your girlfriend has flaunted her experience and cheated on you. That pretty much disqualifies her as wife material.



Biscuits said:


> I know this isnt the infidelity board, but what can I do to either claim that part of my life back, or know that she prefers to have him as a sexual partner and let her go back to him?


You should spend some time reading the infidelity board. I also recommend Married Man Sex Life | How to have the marriage you thought you were going to have. By which I mean doing it like rabbits. for some good insight.

Knowledge will help you. Maybe your girlfriend is just a psychopath who doesn't care about other people. Maybe she just really loves her ex. Maybe she's just not that into you. I don't know if you can figure it out, or not.

But, you should reclaim your sex life by breaking up with her and finding a new partner. There are plenty of them out there.

Good luck.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

I'm getting the impression that you rug swept the affair because of your insecurity. If that is true, and you're not enforcing boundaries, then yes I think she'll cheat again.

I agree with PHTlump, dump her and find someone who is actually into you.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

If it was just for sex she could have found any swing penis that had a big package, but instead she stepped out of the marriage with her ex...so that would lead me to believe she still has feeling for him. Hell now the both of them are on the same wave length, since both are cheaters.


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

It's really unlikely that this infidelity thing is over penis size. There are lots of things that lead to cheating. I've never seen women claiming that penis size was one of it. Of course they can hypothetically be lying about this, but it's unlikely. 

Penis size is one of those things i feel is way more important for men than women. If want to find the real reasons for her cheating look at other factors.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

costa200 said:


> It's really unlikely that this infidelity thing is over penis size. There are lots of things that lead to cheating. I've never seen women claiming that penis size was one of it. Of course they can hypothetically be lying about this, but it's unlikely.
> 
> Penis size is one of those things i feel is way more important for men than women. If want to find the real reasons for her cheating look at other factors.


I agree with this. I would also add that the fact that she even mentioned that he was bigger is a very very bad sign. I've never heard of a woman in love who would disrespect her man is such a way. Women know that this is a sensitive area for men. Her words to you were meant to hurt. And then to cheat on you with him after that? I almost can't believe you are still with her. Even after 20 years of marriage, I would seriously consider leaving my wife if she made such comments about my manhood. It's one of the unforgivable sins.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

Biscuits said:


> Yes, about a month after our first time having sex. She mentioned that I did more for her in other areas, but he was bigger.


Wow....uhmm....focus on the positive point on that statement.









_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ElsalGaston (Aug 17, 2012)

I would say no IMO it didn't have to do with size.


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## Adex (Aug 1, 2012)

If you have no kids, there's no reason to work it out with her. Grab your sack, man up, and leave her.


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

It matters to her. Just because it doesn't matter to all women, doesn't mean that it can't matter to some. She's done you a favor since she has cheated on you, you no longer have anything invested in the relationship.
Word: most of the women who say it doesn't matter are either already with a guy who is on the high end of average or larger. Or, they are willing to accept less if the guy is financially secure and can make things a little easier for them.
It's just the way it is.


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## Kasler (Jul 20, 2012)

This marriage is fvcked.

Sad this guy doesn't see it yet.


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## AlphaHalf (Aug 5, 2012)

Focus on what you can do. Stop worrying about the OM, It's not like you can make your johnson bigger by thinking about it. 
She ought to know better then to compare your size to her ex. What will that accomplish? And it sounds like another bull S excuse for her cheating. So now she betrayed you and made feel inferior because your not as big as her ex....Double Smack to your face...why are you with her again??????

Maybe you can cheat on her with OW and say you did it because OW [email protected]#$ was tighter. "Honey she was tight.... but you...Its like throwing a hot dog down a hallway...and your breast are saggy not firm by any means, It looks like the skin hanging off of Fat Bastard in Austin Powers."



> but from what I gather she met him in a hotel strictly for sex, no feelings, no emotional connection, just sex.


If she wanted size she could have bought a large dildo and not cheat on you. Just saying.


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## tonyarz (Sep 15, 2012)

She might prefer sex with him, but she loves you. MY wife has told me many times about her past loves and how good they were. I don't take it personally. I know I am not going to be the best ever. lol


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## Horsa (Jun 27, 2012)

I feel sorry for you. My DW also told me about how her SoB ex-BF was thicker than mine, and the most amazing orgasms she had with him. But she never once contacted her ex-BF after she left him. I'm sure she never did, when she was with me.
I love my DW and our children so much, I can live with that.
If I had infidelity throw in, I would surely walk away. As I'm sure my wife will also walk away if I ever cheat on her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## barbados (Aug 30, 2012)

Biscuits. Please Please Please take my advice here and get away from this woman NOW!!!! She does not want you. I had that crap done to me many many years ago, and I finally wised up, booted her out of my life and found a new person who liked me for me ! Why in the world would you want to be with someone who is always going to be comparing you to someone else ? You say you are good in other areas of the bedroom ? then make another woman happy with your abilities who will be there just for you !


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

actions speak louder than words.

she told you you gave her more orgasms than he did but then she sneaks off to bang him.

sounds like a size queen to me some woman like a big d*ck.

kick her lying cheating a$$ to the curb!


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## WasDecimated (Mar 23, 2011)

> Originally Posted by Biscuits
> Yes, about a month after our first time having sex. She mentioned that I did more for her in other areas, but he was bigger.





wiigirl said:


> Wow....uhmm....focus on the positive point on that statement.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


He should not focus on this...because of this 



> She has told me that he was "larger" in that area.





> Now, throughout the course of our relationship her EX has come and gone in many forms, ranging from text, phone conversations, facebook messages, and finally her cheating on me with him.


As Chillymom already said...her actions speak louder than her words...which were meant to be demeaning and hurtful. 

You need to get out of this marriage now! She has no respect for you or what you have to offer. Some women just can't love or be faithful to someone who is authentic/genuine. They deserve each other...cut from the same cloth...both cheaters! There is no excuse for what she said to you...it was cruel and what she did with him behind your back, was even worse.


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## goddess007 (Jul 12, 2015)

Why are you still with her?


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

goddess007 said:


> Why are you still with her?



How would you know he is? This thread is 3 years old.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

I doubt it. She'd ditched him by now.


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## life_huppens (Jun 3, 2015)

Run NOW. This is a lost case. She will definitely cheat on you in the future. Sorry it happened to you but consider yourself lucky.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Zombie thread but Gack!!

What a ho baggy!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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