# How to Help My Daughter



## His_Pixie (Jan 29, 2012)

She's 22 years old, trying to get through college. She wants to be a teacher. Her dad (my ex-husband) insists she get a degree in teaching a science, which she doesn't want to do (or he withdraws financial support). Hence, she is not doing well. She's always been a good student, A's and B's. She is uninspired; it's not what she wants to do. He tells her she's such a disappointment and she is "killing" him. (You can see why I left the man.)

She was also diagnosed with severe Crohn's disease in September and is battling that. Her dad thinks she is malingering. (She had leave school for a semester because of her illness.)

Her boyfriend/fiance of over five years left her last year. She's been in a string of bad relationships since then.

She has had such a bad year and nothing has really gone right for year since last March. She's on a bunch of medicine, she started losing her hair, she's lost weight but then she gets all bloated. She's on the edge and her father is pushing pushing pushing her. 

My daughter is a strong, intelligent, beautiful, kind girl. But she is at her wit's end and I don't know how to help her anymore. I have her seeing a counselor on Wednesday. She's breaking my heart. I can't fix it!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

You can't fix it. She's a grown woman. You can be there for her, but...you can't fix it.

Crohn's disease is absolutely debilitating. I have a friend who suffers from it and omg...it's hell.

What state is she in that she wants to teach? I am a teacher and I wouldn't recommend it at this time.


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## His_Pixie (Jan 29, 2012)

She's in Pennsylvania. It's not the field I would have chosen for her but she really wanted to be a "Family & Consumer Sciences" teacher (Home Ec for those of my generation). While I don't think that's going to be the best field for employment, I also think she has to pursue her dreams. I thought she should minor in special ed or math or something to help her get a job but to major in what she wanted to major in.

Yes, at 22, she is an adult but still a dependent as she is in school.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Home ec will be the first to be cut when the budget sucks. 

If she majored in math or science...her opportunities would be awesome! They really want female math/science teachers.

But, she is making her own way. That's what we all do.


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## His_Pixie (Jan 29, 2012)

Her father also told her today that she WILL move to an apartment near school (with her sister) and she will NOT take her cat and if she doesn't cooperate with his way of doing things, he is "done" with her. 

I agree that majoring in science and/or math is the best opportunity for a job. But ... she doesn't like it. It's a damn shame to spend your life working in a field you dislike. I figure once she gets out of school and out from under her father's thumb, she can do what she damn well pleases. But at least she'll have a bachelor's degree.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Sounds to me like she'd be better off without her father in her life.

It would be hard, but she could put herself through school by working, applying for scholarships (many go unclaimed simply because no one applies for them), student loans etc. That's how I put myself through university.


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