# How did the love for my wife end, should I leave?



## anavar77 (Sep 14, 2011)

I dated my wife for over 8 years, high school sweathearts, she was my first girlfriend. We've been married for over 20. Never a serious argument, never went to bed angry at each other. Always together every moment we went somewheres. We have two teenagers. I'm a man which has dedicated my life to my wife and kids, never gone out with friends nor had many or any. I always went out with kids, wife and family, i loved this. Always home enjoying them. My wife handled cooking and house cleaning and worked full time, I handled everything else, kids events, going to movies, taking kids to buy clothing, taking kids to doctor, planning vacations, planning night outs, etc, etc. Marriage hit a pause when I started wanting my wife to be more involved with what was going out there, i.e. pick a movie to go see with the kids, rather then me always, sex life was never great but we were okay. I always had a higher sex drive than wife but accepted it, often times i requested sex, like once or twice a week. Wife did not like giving oral sex and enjoyed i performed on her, wife had low sex drive, i offered to help more in the house or see a dr in case she needed it. After 2 years, i became a little frustrated, i met a female and became close friends with her, now I'm having an affair. I could not keep this from my wife and confessed, I can't let go of the other woman and I have not been with my wife since although we live together. I love my kids even till this age I still put my daughter to bed and read her a book. I'm considered a good humble guy, I feel horrible about this situatioin but can't let go of other woman. What can I do? Please advice. I was in counseling for depression before I met other woman, then wanted to get my wife in for marriage counseling but at first she did not want. then she wanted but it was too late.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

What to you want to hear?


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Oh my, you might want to don your Kevlar sir.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

You need to cross post this in the Infidelity forum.


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

Put a hold on your affair. Work with your wife to see if there should be a divorce.


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## Acorn (Dec 16, 2010)

Anavar - you are going to be in for a fun ride here since the board is very pro-marriage (obviously).

The OW is a distraction. You are running away from your problems with your wife. The longer you stay with your new woman, the harder it will be for you, your wife, your kids, and the OW once everything becomes visible.

You know by your own writing that something is seriously wrong here. Why are you dragging your wife and kids through all this? Just divorce and be done with it if you want out so bad.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

So what's your question? Right now, you're cake-eating. You need to end the affair (not just put it on hold) if you want to work on your marriage and invest yourself 100% in it, or you need to pull the pin on your marriage. What you're doing now isn't fair to anyone.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

What you can do is either do is end your affair and work on your marriage or get a divorce. Yes...its that simple. By the way, you are setting a horrible example for your children. I feel sorry for your wife. You're completely disrespecting her. The OW sounds like a real winner...a woman who has zero problems participating in the betraayal of a marriage and family.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> What you can do is either do is end your affair and work on your marriage or get a divorce. Yes...its that simple. By the way, you are setting a horrible example for your children. I feel sorry for your wife. You're completely disrespecting her. *The OW sounds like a real winner...a woman who has zero problems participating in the betraayal of a marriage and family.*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


There's plenty of them to go around..


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Yes. Just as there are marrieds willing to betray. 

Anavar--it's not likely you will ever trust the OW.


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## HappyAtLast (Jan 25, 2010)

Did it ever occur to you to maybe sit down and discuss with your W how you felt? If she is holding down a full time job and being a mother, how much energy do you think she will have at the end of the day? She could also be depressed for whatever reason as well.
Granted, I can see how you would become frustrated, but that doesn't give you a green light to cheat...sorry, that's no excuse.
Your wife must be crushed...and I feel no remorse for you at all. I had to deal with my H's EA, so I feel her pain all over again.


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