# Probably need an attorney, but please advise



## won'tstoptrying53 (Feb 7, 2012)

We did a basically do-it-yourself divorce. The ex took her Ph.D student loan, as she should. However, it's still in my name and she recently threatened that she will quit paying it if I don't help with the kids college costs. (I am, I was just a little late). Can I force her to put it in her name? That debt is hers per the divorce agreement.


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## Orpheus (Jul 6, 2012)

if your ex is threatening you about anything financial... see a lawyer.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

won'tstoptrying53 said:


> We did a basically do-it-yourself divorce. The ex took her Ph.D student loan, as she should. However, it's still in my name and she recently threatened that she will quit paying it if I don't help with the kids college costs. (I am, I was just a little late). Can I force her to put it in her name? That debt is hers per the divorce agreement.


IF you could put it in her name you should've done it before when making the agreement. Is it in the divorce agreement that she pay the loan? Is it in the divorce agreement that you pay the kid's college costs? 

In NJ you have to help pay support for your kids and help with their college costs but that's not the case in many states. 

If either of you want to change something that's in the agreement then you'll need to take it to court and you should get legal advice. She can't just threaten not to pay something because she's pissed off. 

This is why when my H and I do our own divorce settlement (that's the plan) we might involve a mediator and I want it SPELLED OUT that HIS debts are HIS and MINE are mine. 

We are lucky because we have been separate financially for over 2 years. That means no joint debts, credit cards, loans, car payments, etc. He has run up WAY more tha I have and that's the one thing that pushed me to file. He's living off credit cards and I have no debt and want to keep it that way. 

He's agreed to this but I want it spelled out, in writing and made legal. Your situation is exactly why.


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## won'tstoptrying53 (Feb 7, 2012)

The D papers say that is her debt, I just forgot it was in my name. (She knew, obviously)

Don't have to help with college in my state.

Should I ask her to do this, or just hire a lawyer to tell her to do it?


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

If it's in the divorce papers that SHE pay the debt then she has to pay it or you could take her to court. It doesn't matter whose name it's in but it COULD be a problem for you if she doesn't pay it. 

Your Divorce Settlement is a LEGAL contract. It might be a problem with her living out of state so that's where you might need to see a lawyer. 

If it's NOT in the divorce settlement that you have to pay your kids college expenses then you shouldn't have to do it. But it's nice that you do. 

You should deal with your kids directly then..not with her. It's THEIR college expenses. 

My daughter gets scholarship money, grants and loans for her education and SHE gets sent the money, not me. You need to work that out with your kids. Cut her out of the loop.


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## won'tstoptrying53 (Feb 7, 2012)

You've really educated yourself on this stuff, Freak! Thanks for the advice. Of course that makes sense, she would open herself up to a lawsuit. Duaghter is almost done with undergrad. Son is a freshman, but gets free tuition at the college where ex works. So that's good. We are in the same state,, just different cities.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

It's a civil issue for the most part - unfortunately this happens a lot. If she doesn't pay, you can certainly try to enforce the agreement but in the end it's your credit that is screwed. And there really isn't a way to get the lender to switch the debt into her name. 

However, you can get a judgement against her and hold that over her head until she pays it.

Now, if the document isn't just an agreement but has become part of a court ORDER, then you have criminal repercussions and she's in contempt of court for not paying. An order is always a good way to go - it ups the ante.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

won'tstoptrying53 said:


> You've really educated yourself on this stuff, Freak!.


One can only hope.  We'll see how educated I am when it comes to MY divorce! Life is full of surprises..

My husband has debt. I don't. He's agreed to assume his debts and I won't be responsible for them on paper but creditors have a way of being VERY persistant. Fortunately my name isn't on any of his credit cards, bank accounts, loans, etc...And they were all taken out AFTER we separated but one reason I came to the conclusion that I had to file was that my H is putting MY credit rating in danger simply by my being legally bound to him. 

So you don't want that to happen to you. You need to make sure that she pays off that loan. Don't hesitate to seek legal advice.


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## gulfwarvet (Jan 7, 2013)

1st send a letter to your ex refering them to the divorce decree ,tell them you don't appreciate the threats,tell them if they don't comply with the court order that they are in contempt of court ,tell the ex you hope they comply with the court order so you don't have to take this any further,should they decide not to that you will be getting an attorney and that you will asking for attorneys fees and lastly that you will be using the letter as evidence that you tried to settle the matter out of court-I've used this strategy and it works.


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## won'tstoptrying53 (Feb 7, 2012)

gulf, thanks for that. Sounds like a good idea. Fortunately, she is paying. But I agree, it would be good to remind her of the consequences if she decides to hold this over my head in the future.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

All you have to do is to send a copy of the divorce agreement that assigns the debt to her, to the legal department of the agency/bank that holds the loan. Then the loan will be put into her name, or it will start the ball rolling on whatever needs to be done administratively to put the loan in her name. 

If that fails, you can revisit the court to have her held in contempt, for failing to put the loan in her name (which she should have done.)

You don't have to wait until she defaults to go back to court. If she is supposed to be taking care of the loan, she should have made arrangements using the court order, to have it put into her own name.


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