# HIM fitness testing about trust?



## walkingwounded (May 7, 2011)

This is a side-effect from the forgiveness thread I started not long ago, and I wanted to get some opinions on how to handle this best...

My H has been great after I forgave him for his EA. I feel much better for itand I can see the difference in me, and in him too. He is a lot more positive and responsive to me. I think I gave him a jolt by saying I had nearly decided to leave.

I have realised that I think he is throwing fitness tests at me. If I elaborate, can you guys tell me if these are fitness tests, and how do I handle them?

1. Saturday morning, he got a text from a mutual friend asking if he wanted to go out that evening drinking with a group of friends. I asked what did he plan to do? He said he wasn't sure, he might stay home and get some yardwork done, or he may go out. "That would be OK wouldn't it? You *do* trust me,don't you?"

I should clarify this has been one of the last areas of trust that I have had difficulty with. I paused, and replied, "mmm" non-commitally: he took me by surprise. "What was that, was that a word, an answer?" he joked. I smiled. "That was an 'mmm'", I said, "a 'yes.'" "Ah, OK," he answered with a smile. He didn't end up going out, which I suspected he never had any intention of anyway.

2. Earlier today, we were chatting about a similar thing: him meeting his good friend for a beer. He said he probably wouldn't as money was tight. Then said, "but hey, ***** (insert name of local lapdancing club) only costs $10 to get in, then a beer, then paying for etc etc..." all the time with a cheeky smile. He knows this would be a sore point for me. I rolled my eyes with a smile and walked away.

I know I probably didn't handle them in the best way, but not the worst either. How do you respond when you *know* someone is testing you out to see if you flip out and that you meant what you said: in this case about trusting him?


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## BigToe (Jun 2, 2011)

What's good for the goose.

It does sound like some testing going on. In this case, I say fight fire with fire and start making up some stories about you going out alone. Something tells me that when the table is turned on him he'll finally learn his lesson.


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