# Maybe Unrealistic



## ncal830 (Jan 14, 2013)

I've about had it with my husband, if i wouldve known about his "indiscretions" before getting married, i wouldnt of married him. We have a child together though, we've built a life and as mad as i am at him, i still love him dearly.

I can somewhat wrap my mind around the fact that all men look at porn. Im not going to lie and say I wasnt mad when I found out. As explained by others along with my husband that for him its an idiosyncratic behavior. It's taken sometime to get over and lots of communication to do so. What i cant get over is hes been looking at this gals pictures and facebook on a religious basis coupled with his porn use since before we got married. 

He explained to me that facebook or his use of so is like porn except that gals have their clothes on. 

He says he's not attracted to this gal, that he doesn't want her..I'm just not sure I believe that. I feel like i've gone our entire relationship being second best to what he really wants. He said he will stop, but maybe i'm asking for something that is unrealistic. I get men are going to look, but it seems like the interest he has in this gal is obsessive.

We've been together for about 5 years and I even offered for him to go sleep with someone else, try something different etc. He says he doesn't want this, that sex is like a ritual that he only wants to share with me.

I just feel lost, it's not like their is a lack in the sex department, we have sex every.single. day. I'd give anything to make him happy, but at the same time where do I draw the line and again is it realistic?


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

ncal830 said:


> I even offered for him to go sleep with someone else, try something different etc.


Why on earth would you degrade yourself in this manner??

And other than looking, what exactly has he done that's got you so worried?


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## ncal830 (Jan 14, 2013)

Well, I offered for the sake of something that would make him happy. I want him to be open and honest in the things that he desires.

There hasn't really been anything else, just maybe expected that he would be honest about it..even being caught he lied about it.

I know that part of it is being insecure, and that I don't really give him the things that he wants.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

He isn't going to respect you with an attitude like that. You don't give him the things he wants?!?! Like what? What does HE do for YOU??

Men respect and cherish a woman who knows what she wants and who is happy in her own skin. That does NOT include telling your man to go out and cheat on you if it makes him happy, or being so clingy that him just looking at another woman has you all up in arms. And he isn't going to be honest with someone he doesn't respect. He also isn't going to be honest when he can't even look at another woman.

If you really think his relationship with this facebook woman is inappropriate then ask him to show you his interactions with her.


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## ncal830 (Jan 14, 2013)

Point taken. I know I've got my stuff i gotta work on too. It wasn't always like this and I know in order to work, I've gotta trust him. I do understand that guys are going to look. 

When we werent living together I knew that he was looking at porn and completely understandable. The recent part of being mad about it, is A) being caught off guard, because I had asked him about it B) I was pregnant and took it at first that he wasn't attracted. 

His interactions with this gal of late has just been strictly for the sake of masturbation. There's a little bit o history behind with this gal. Seriously, any other person and I honestly wouldn't feel this threatened. Like I said, it wasn't always like this.

He does plenty of stuff for me, our sex life isn't prolific because of wanting to "please" him.


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