# WW email with sister



## anakin (Feb 1, 2012)

So i wanted to get a few others people perspective on a email i found between my WW and her sister. I would like honest feedback from people. 

WW: i am thinking of writing my mom a long email just to tell her what has been going on just so she understands a little better except for me seeing OM cause she will never understand that.

Sis: that is a great idea. OH AND YES, never tell mom about OM she would blame this whole thing on him, she already thinks due to him you want to leave anakin.

WW: i dont even feel like meeting OM tonight i am so blah today

Sis: Dont call off dinner with OM just yet, see how you feel later. or are you feeling guilty?

WW:not guilty at all. Lol just feeling down

Sis: Well buck up princess!!!Go see your boy, he always makes you smile

WW:LMAO!i will try!he does make me smile

i know how it reads to me, she has denied that this conversation has ever taking place and im making it up. She doesnt know that i have multiple paper copies. im in the process of filling out my divorce packet. Again i would just like some feedback from men and women. Thanks


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## snap (Oct 3, 2011)

Send the transcript to her mom.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

snap said:


> Send the transcript to her mom.


Send a copy to your toxic SILs hubby too if she has one. She is entirely okay with enabling her sister's cheating, she may be cheating on him since marital vows mean so little to her.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Is the OM married or in a realtionship? If so send his SO a copy too. They need to know what they are involved in. 

How long has this been going on? Do you have other evidence? Is your wife opposed to the divorce?


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

File for divorce and expose the affair to all, Expose SIL to her husband and mom for enabling cheating and destroying your family.

from the mail it seems that her mother also know about OM

But, first start running away from her.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

I commend you on your decision to file for divorce. Your cheating wife's purpose is to demonize you to her mother and deceive her just like she has deceived you. She does not care for you one bit and is just bidding her time until the OM commits to her so she can dump you.

As far as her enabling sister is concerned, out her to her husband or boyfriend so he can see what kind of snake he has chosen to go to bed with.


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

Her disrespect for you is glaring. Do you have kids? Expose her affair. To everyone and especially her mom. Separate accounts and start carrying a VAR with you.


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## Lionelhutz (Feb 2, 2012)

I agree with the other make sure you have your financial affairs in order, any shared assets or accounts need to be protected from her, hire a lawyer, get the paperwork complete and then share the e-mail.


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## Dexter Morgan (Dec 8, 2011)

snap said:


> Send the transcript to her mom.


I agree:smthumbup:

And this part stuck out with me


> Sis: Well buck up princess!!!Go see your boy, he always makes you smile


The sis obviously approves of anakin's betrayal, is an enabler, and a ho just like her cheating sister.

Anakin, I think its time to get away from this toxic family and let the hos be miserable in their life.

And if WW's sis has a husband, show him the transcript too. He deserves to know he has a wife that thinks affairs are ok.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

It's clear from that email she was/is having an affair, her sister knew about it, and the mom wasn't down with it.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

This evidence has only "we're just friend" writen all over it. Hire a PI and get solid proof of a PA.

Just a though on either buring her or " completely" buring her...when it comes to the divorce. Again this is just another perspective, and this could take some time and pain. It may be best for you to expose this and move on, enles you want a bigger nail in the coffin?

One thing is for sure take the time to make a plan and work the plan and hold your cards close until you have protected your self and then pull the trigger.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Just finish filling out the divorce papers and have her served. Maybe you could leave copies of her emails to her sister on her bedside one morning or something.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

snap said:


> Send the transcript to her mom.


Oh YES!!

Do this, do this, do this!!

Please do this!


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## crossbar (Aug 25, 2011)

Send it to her Mom! PLEASE!!!

If she comes back screaming, "WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!?"

Just tell her, " You didn't feel guilty about seeing OM. SO, I didn't feel guilty about forwarding that to your mom. Did that answer your question?"


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## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

Agree , send a copy to your MIL but do call her as well. As for your SIL call her husband , mention she is actively encouraging your wife's affair and drop a hint that his marriage may be at risk as well . Two sisters supporting an affair are a good cover for each other.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Or you could send the transcript to both the mom AND the sister.


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## anakin (Feb 1, 2012)

SIL is a man hating single mom, who's man left her with 2 kids at 20 never married, no bf that I know of. WW can have the other man, I just want her mom to know how she just lies straight to her face, and how's selfish she is, and how the sister also lies to my MIL. There is plenty of proof to me txt between the two, late night drunken calls. Lying to me for OM. Even a pic of her at this bar and a pic of all the OM friends,and brother on FB. FB is a good thing to find info on people. I am just looking for support due to all the gaslighting that I have endured over the last 9 months.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

It is a tough spot you are in.

Just tell her mom what you know and that you are aware the sister also knows. Then file for your divorce and be done. Sorry to hear it came to this.

Call up old friends for support and your family/relatives.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Start working out and doing the thing you lost when you were so worried about keeping your wife happy.... like a old hobby you gave up.
Start working on your self after you expose the crap out of this affair.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

look in the newbie link in my signature, there are instructions on exposure, I think going nuclear on facebook would be a good start


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## anakin (Feb 1, 2012)

Thanks jelly I just wanted other people view of the email. When you are lied to gaslighted for so long by the person that u trusted it takes a toll and u start to question reality
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## crossbar (Aug 25, 2011)

Here's your support and advice...forward the messages to the mom. She has the right to know what her daughter has been up to and no parent wants to be lied to by their kid. Yeah, you might be done with her, but that doesn't mean that she gets a free pass. Having her mom believe that the OM was nothing more than a "good friend and a shoulder to cry on." Make her affair very difficult for her.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Drop divorce papers on her and just walk out of her life. Go completely dark on her forever. She's a completely unremorseful cheater who seems to think behaving like that is what normal people do. It isn't, it's what people who are going to end up burned out bitter and alone live like as they burn through good people until they find the only people still around them are the sleazy scum that have been encouraging them.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Some willl say that you sould never reveal your source (the email), but if this is the deal breaker and there is no room for R then expose the email in its entirety.

It may be wise to just let the MIL know you have enough proof to kick your W out for her adultous behavior and leave it at that, holding that card (your source)for when it may realy be needed to be played. 

Do not tell your WW about your plan to expose, she will get infront of you and do damage control.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Discuss with your lawyer before exposing at this point. Since you have decided to leave there is no point in trying to get her to stop the affair or reconcile with you. So there is no rush to expose.

Once your lawyer says there is no benefit to keeping it secret, go ahead and expose to her mom. Also, is cheaterville set up for enablers also? I'd put sis on there as an enabler.


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## vickyyy (Oct 28, 2011)

pack ur wifes bag and dump her and her bags in front of OM house.

they deserve each other.


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## SprucHub (Jan 13, 2012)

Agree to sending email to MIL. Also, freeze accounts, freeze credit cards, catalog assets, collect bank and credit card statements to see what she has spent, get STD tested and relish the fact that OM will likely dump her when he goes from being a toy to a crutch.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Thor said:


> Discuss with your lawyer before exposing at this point. Since you have decided to leave there is no point in trying to get her to stop the affair or reconcile with you. So there is no rush to expose.
> 
> Once your lawyer says there is no benefit to keeping it secret, go ahead and expose to her mom. Also, is cheaterville set up for enablers also? I'd put sis on there as an enabler.


Put them all on cheaterville.com and let them know they are on it. Of course you don't have to identify you did it with their annonymous emails.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

anakin, though it is sweet justice that you would expose this all, only do this if there is benefit for YOU. I would tell your MIL that you loved her daughter and fought to make it work, but just could not tolerate the kind of mistreatment she was giving you, that to you marriage is sacred and there is no room for other men getting your W's affection. If the MIL expresses any doubt, just say you have all the proof you need to know her daughter is an adulterer and that her sister is a toxic enabler, if MIL keeps pushing show her your cards then.

Don't invite drama into your life, but definitely stand up for your integrity and reputation if you are challenged.


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## anakin (Feb 1, 2012)

I sat down today and almost have the first packet filled out. The second packet is due 20 days after I file but it sure looks tough. Did anyone get help with the second one. It breaks down all living expenses. as far as WW she just lies and told the MIL I am making things up
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dexter Morgan (Dec 8, 2011)

anakin said:


> I sat down today and almost have the first packet filled out. The second packet is due 20 days after I file but it sure looks tough. Did anyone get help with the second one. It breaks down all living expenses. as far as WW she just lies and told the MIL I am making things up
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Don't worry about what she tells her mother. From the sound of it, she didn't raise her 2 daughter right, so she will believe anything her daughter says. 

But if you want to show your MIL who the real liar is, show her the emails. Print them off for your attorney. It won't make a difference in the divorce other than to give you grounds to file under adultery.

And if the SIL contacts you, tell her to go to hell and never call you again.

If you have a house, then if she leaves it, then you owe her 1/2 the equity. If you leave, she owes you.

And she is only entitled 1/2 of any retirement, etc, that was accumulated AFTER marriage. So if you had any retirement accounts, 401K, etc, get the balances as of the day you were married. That is the amount she can't touch.

And remember, she is liable for 1/2 the marital debt too. This is all usually bargained as to how it will be paid. Example, she may request that you pay off all marital debt in exchange for not touching any retirement, or an amount equal to the debt.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

anakin said:


> I sat down today and almost have the first packet filled out. The second packet is due 20 days after I file but it sure looks tough. Did anyone get help with the second one. It breaks down all living expenses. as far as WW she just lies and told the MIL I am making things up


My divorce wasn't pro se so I can't answer that but if you need additional help, you can always ask the clerk at court. They should have all your answers.

Re: what she's entitled to: check your state laws. 

Your wife is going to say whatever she wants to her mother. That is not your problem. Let her do/say whatever she wants since she is no longer your issue to deal with. If she comes at you with something tell her "Stop. You and I both know you are lying. You can deny it all you want but the truth is, you had/are having an affair with X and that is why I am divorcing you."

End point. No need to discuss things further. Not your problem anymore.


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## anakin (Feb 1, 2012)

Thanks for the advice jelly. I have to follow that and get rid of all the drama. I won't get the truth anyway. They will say that it didn't say they had sex and she wasn't happy and people do things when there not happy. How about just counseling, or choose divorce without all the lies and deceit
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Are you in California? Just wondering because of the forms. My brother is going through a divorce in CA. I've been handling his books so I did the financial part of his divorce papers.

Make sure you get copies of all the bills and accounts for the the last year... two years if you can. If there is a discovery you will need that.

We went online and down loaded most of them. Some places now like banks have statments now going back something like 7 years. So we downloaded every bank statement, cell bill, car loan statements, etc going back as many years as we could get them. Then he had paper copies so we scanned in everything that we did not get directly from the account holders. All of this is organized on a CD in folders.

Then I took all the statments and figured out the average of each bill and put it on the form. First I did it in Microsoft Exel. Then was able to type the final figures into the pdf versions of the forms. 

My brother gave the attorney a CD with every thing on it well organized. The attorney loved it. He had to print a lot of it out but at least he could find it all.

Also, don't know your situation, but my SIL controlled their business and personal finances until she kicked him out in Oct 2010. They owned and ran many businesses together for the 22 years they were married. But when she went to court she claimed that she was a poor little SAHM who never worked, he controlled he finances their entire life and she had no idea what their assets were or their debt. And she tried to use this argument to say that she should not have liability for any joint debt because he never even let her write a check, pay a bill or use a credit card.. he said is was so pathetic.. she sat there crying in court to make her lie more believable. Apparently the judge and attornies believed her sob story and my brother was racked over the coles.. this was for the interim support hearing.

This is also a woman with 25 years work experience and a master's.

So when we parpared the papers for the discovery and court we included copies of her hand written bank registers going back 3 years, all of her credit card receipts with her card name and signature on them. She also wrote on every bill as she paid it the date of payment, the amount, check number or if it was paid online.

Thank goodness the day my brother was moving out, I was on the phone with him and told him to grabe all of their financial papers. He said she'd kill him.. but I talked him into it. If he had not done that he would have little to nothing to prove to the court that she is lying about not only her being a poor controlled SAHM but a lot of other things.

The point is.. get a copy of everything that has to do with your finances.


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

Collect maximum evidence as possible, then divorce her. why you want to put your life in a cheating and loveless marriage.

Dont allow her to manipulate you by her lies. Let she go.
Do something which make you feel good and get rid off your pain.


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## anakin (Feb 1, 2012)

I'm in NJ pretty simple house and kids to fight over. I just want time with kids and not just when she says I can type deal. The less I have to deal with her the better.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dexter Morgan (Dec 8, 2011)

anakin said:


> I'm in NJ pretty simple house and kids to fight over. I just want time with kids and not just when she says I can type deal. The less I have to deal with her the better.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Well, you will get every other weekend at least. Unless you are an unfit father, you will get at least that.

And it sucks, a woman can be a total hussbag, and still get custody over a father with some scruples. Being a cheater doesn't factor into custody. Even though the morals of someone who is about to raise a child should come into question.

Us fathers have adjusted to being every other weekend dads for years. You aren't alone and we are with ya bud.


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