# Told guy I like him. He says he has a gf but keeps engaging



## rocknrolla (Jun 14, 2015)

I met a guy a few months back on a night out through mutual friends of his, and I was immediately drawn to him. We chatted a good bit of the night, and after I left I added him on social media, because I felt we had a spark.

I commented on a few of his things, but he never acknowledged anything so I figured maybe I read it wrong and just let it go. Fast forward a month and there is another night out at the bar and he is there with friends. He comes up to me and introduces me to them, and we chat again. I end up leaving before him very drunk, and stupidly text him after leaving telling him I would love to get dinner with him because I am into him. He replies telling me he loves the compliment but he is with somebody (which sucks because there is nothing on social media that hints at this). 

So I get my closure on why he perhaps didn't engage on Facebook with when I commented, and let it go, only ever since I told him I like him he hasn't stopped commenting on my social media, which he hasn't done before (almost on a daily basis now), and then the other day he even messaged me directly making fun of a comment I had made on my social media. Apparently it was something I had said I liked in general on a status, and he doesn't like this thing, so his messaged me playfully saying that was a reason we couldn't be together, and he put a smiley face.

So I guess my question is, what is the best way to deal with this? We have mutual friends, I will see him again, and obviously I like him but he would need to be single before anything happens, and I am just a little confused by his behavior.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

If he is in a relationship then stay right way. Don't have any contact. He is taken.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

What's more important? To be a part of this social circle or a little fling with this guy? Some people may not approve of his cheating but may hold you responsible and not him.


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## rocknrolla (Jun 14, 2015)

How do you really know the difference between friendly vs flirting though? The comments he makes publicly aren't flirty. I don't know what to make of it.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Who knows what his behavior really means. With each new thread about him, the story gets heavier. The next thread will probably be that you were drunk one weekend in the future and had sex with him. Better to keep your distance since you know at the moment he's not available.


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## FieryHairedLady (Mar 24, 2011)

I feel like I have read this story a few times on here before.

He is just keeping his options open.

He likes the attention.

Block him & ignore.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

rocknrolla said:


> So I get my closure on why he perhaps didn't engage on Facebook with when I commented, and let it go, only ever since I told him I like him he hasn't stopped commenting on my social media, which he hasn't done before (almost on a daily basis now), and then the other day he even messaged me directly making fun of a comment I had made on my social media. Apparently it was something I had said I liked in general on a status, and he doesn't like this thing, so his messaged me playfully saying that was a reason we couldn't be together, and he put a smiley face.
> 
> So I guess my question is, what is the best way to deal with this? We have mutual friends, I will see him again, and obviously I like him but he would need to be single before anything happens, and I am just a little confused by his behavior.


Okay, so he comments on social media and has conversed with you in a bar. What's to be confused about? He's being friendly and/or flirty. If he liked you, he'd ask you out. Sure, you may hang out with him in a bar the next time you're out, but until he's unencumbered, don't read too much into this.

The best way to deal with this is NOT to deal with this. Be friendly when you see him. Respond on social media and to his text messages, if you want. But don't read anything more into this. Frankly, if I told a man I liked him and all I got was some "cute" FB comments or a few texts, I wouldn't take it seriously.

If he is in an exclusive committed relationship, which is what he hinted at, and pulled this stuff on me, I'd feel sorry as hell for his gf. Guy sounds like a turd to me.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Ask him if he has any nice friends to introduce you to.

If you're looking for a bf, don't let this guy monopolize your time in public and get people thinking that you two are an item.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

He probably knew the first time you two met that you were interested in him and that’s why he didn’t answer your social media posts. 
Once he explained to you that he had a girlfriend he assumed it was now ok to be friends on Facebook or whatever. 
I don’t see where he has done anything underhand,he has behaved correctly in my opinion.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

rocknrolla said:


> How do you really know the difference between friendly vs flirting though? The comments he makes publicly aren't flirty. I don't know what to make of it.


He is covering more than one base at a time. He wants to keep you interested despite having a woman of his own.

I would dump the chump as a friend unless he is really being innocent with you.

I find his comments suspect.

I don't like guys, or gals, that are taken who still try dipping their toes in other pools.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

OMG this again??? Let it go already!


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

FieryHairedLady said:


> I feel like I have read this story a few times on here before.
> 
> He is just keeping his options open.
> 
> ...


In most circumstances I would agree with you but this guy has done nothing wrong. He was honest about having a girlfriend and he didn’t add the op onto his social media until he made this clear. 
I’ve reread some older posts from the op and she seems to read far too much into any interaction with any man she finds attractive.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

ConanHub said:


> He is covering more than one base at a time. He wants to keep you interested despite having a woman of his own.
> 
> I would dump the chump as a friend unless he is really being innocent with you.
> 
> ...


Bingo, he's covering his bases 

Now, theres nothing absolutely wrong with seeing him if it's solely your choice and you know it may not go anywhere and accept/are ok with that.

He may switch to you. But... you know what kind of guy is, he may still be on the prowl.

Or your relationship may deepen, he gets past all that.

In my single days I never let the fact a woman says she has a bf deter me, if she kept being responsive in us going out together or whatever.

Having a bf isn't taken off the market to me, unless I met them both at the same time, or I knew the guy. 

I'm just saying it's up to you, just go in with eyes open if choose to do.

I'd not do social media but talk, and go out, too much xtronic chatter will kill things.

Up to you!

You never know.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> *In my single days I never let the fact a woman says she has a bf deter m*e, if she kept being responsive in us going out together or whatever.
> 
> *Having a bf isn't taken off the market to me,* unless I met them both at the same time, or I knew the guy.
> 
> ...


I find this approach completely disrespectful. If someone is taken, you should leave them the hell alone.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Bingo, he's covering his bases
> 
> Now, theres nothing absolutely wrong with seeing him if it's solely your choice and you know it may not go anywhere and accept/are ok with that.
> 
> ...


If you're willing to accept the risk that goes with it. Lol! If I remember right, you're big but inviting a pissed off mate is a risk regardless of size.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

I do agree there. Maybe not always wise, but ok if eyes wide open. 

😁😁😁


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Good rule of thumb:


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## Zodiac (Dec 7, 2018)

Read the book "Not just friends". 

If you're not a friend of the relationship, you're confusing theirs.

If you're his friend.... ask why he keeps engaging, and then tell him to ask his GF to do that (the reason why he engages: Empathy, conversation, etc), majority of the time it's because someone finds an empathetic listener that relationships start to fall apart. 

You're a piece on a board you know nothing about.


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## Steelman (Mar 5, 2018)

Commenting on Social Media doesn't mean a whole lot, unless he is totally flirty.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Walk away. Neither of you have any business engaging with each other. He is not available. End. Of. Story.


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

Personally, I would take him off my media and if you run into him again I would find a way to leave....go to the bathroom or whatever. I had a guy interested in me via social media but yet I knew he had a girlfriend and he kept sending me messages and calling me "sweetY". I deleted him from my friend list. If he does this with his lady friend, he will do this to you.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Steelman said:


> Commenting on Social Media doesn't mean a whole lot, unless he is totally flirty.


Sometimes, it does. During the first year of dating with my husband, I noticed that his friend quite often would "like" his entries about concerts that he had attended. ...... al the concerts that he claimed he had gone alone to.

this is why I like facebook.


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