# separation advice ?



## sadhusband87 (Dec 29, 2015)

I have been married since September 2014. My wife and I have been together for 8 years. We own a house together, dogs but no kids. Without the long story " we grew apart " her words. The last 6 months have been really hard. I've been through the ringer of emotions. It's a constant battle. 

Now 2 months separated: she moved in with a girl from her work almost an hour away. We share custody of our dogs. I pay the bills on the house. We have separated our funds. 

What is next? she's not communicating anything. Though i'm not pushing anything on her. I'm not great expressing all the details on here so if anyone has questions please just ask. 

Don't know what to do.


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

There's a fair chance she found somebody new. "We grew apart" sounds like a "womanese" translated into, "I can no longer stand to be in the same room with you".


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

sadhusband87 said:


> I have been married since September 2014. My wife and I have been together for 8 years. We own a house together, dogs but no kids. Without the long story " we grew apart " her words. The last 6 months have been really hard. I've been through the ringer of emotions. It's a constant battle.
> 
> Now 2 months separated: she moved in with a girl from her work almost an hour away. We share custody of our dogs. I pay the bills on the house. We have separated our funds.
> 
> ...


Is this girl just her friend? I think you need to at least speak to a lawyer. Get a lay of the land. One thing OP DO NOT see this as the end of your life. It is a hard time in your life but life will go on and you will be happy again. It just takes time.


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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

So... did you grow apart?

What has happened that this statement would come?

I'm with Vlad here... growing apart doesn't just happen, either the relationship was ignored for way too long or something happened that introduced someone in a way that found a fracture in either her, or her perception of her marriage to you.

Either way, you only have the tip of the transparency iceberg... there is so much more underneath, you have to decide what you want to know (or not), and take that path.

Knowledge can be power in coming to terms with why she chose her path, but the cost in pain may be more than you anticipate.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

I just read your previous threads.

She cheated during your first separation.....with that co-worker you discovered she was texting most probably......let to be with him, but got rejected (I would bet if you checked him out, you will find he is M or has a gf) and came scurrying back to you, Plan B.

You tried to just sweep it under the rug....accepted her word at face value that she never cheated.

But she never had her heart in trying to fix it, as you described.....and now this second separation.

My bet is that, if you finally pull your head out of the sand and investigate, you are going to find that this A continued after she came back and NEVER ended.

Her leaving again is because she is hoping to get POSOM to commit to her this time.

But she will never tell you about the A, because she believes that your sappy self will just sit their pining away as her Plan B in case she can't get the scumbag to eventually commit to her.

Admitting the A to you might upset her fallback plans.

Investigate and find the proof of the A and then confront her and expose the truth to both your families, all friends, and POSOM's BW/gf.....then do the 180 (read up about it if you do not know it) and file for D.

SHOW her through your actions you will not tolerate her A and being her Plan B.


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