# Hello everyone, Jerry here. Update:



## jerry123 (Apr 9, 2012)

Have not posted a new thread in a while but just wanted to say things are going good. Some may know me, but new members probably don't. 

Don't know how to link my thread here but basically I was a SAHD while wife is a big wig at a well know company. Before TAM and MMSLP blog/books I was basically a nice guy beta schlub. Well, after thinking my neighbor and wife were getting too friendly (inappropriate jokes/comments by him to me and her) I went into full Alpha mode and investigation. Nothing came up but I suspect she was getting dopamine from him. His jokes, alpha manor. 

Also, the disrespect from her and my nice guy ways was killing everything. Got advice here and MMSLP books helped me. Cutting ties with neighbor also helped. 

I am now working at a hospital and have transformed myself in to new man. Best shape of my life. Look and feel 30 again. Sex life is easily 2-3x a week and solo vaca's without kids is double that. My sex rank is easily 2 points higher. She's 40 now so not saying she's showing it but is always complaint about wrinkles under eye or sagging. Me, no wrinkles, full head of hair and defined muscles. I also coach daughters softball team and sub at school. 

Of course still get sh!t test and trying to Alpha me up but those are put to rest fast. 

Kids look up to me now. No disrespect from them. 

Reason I'm writing is how do I deal with IOI's and flirty ness from other woman. I know, tough problem to have but it is with this one woman. 

She's related by marriage, my wife's side. Constant staring at me and even touching me. It's obvious because she's even hinted toward an affair. Of course I brush it off and keep it to myself. It would be counter productive to mention this to wife or her husband. We don't see them weekly but i would say monthly. 

So this has been going on for 9-10 months. Got creepy a few weeks ago when she was at our house and I went downstairs to help my kid. She followed a little later and it was just her, me, my kid. My kid left and she came over to me, slid her hand over my knee and as she was sitting down she started shaking a little, no more than a little and like tightened up. It shocked me because it looked like she was having an orgasm. I did a double take. And she was grinning like the cat that ate the canary. She basically just said "Hey how have you been. Everything ok". I said yeah, everything's ok. 

I have taken steps to let her know it's not going to happen. And keep my distance but as I do it's getting more advances from her. Not like she's all over me but definitly more touching and stands closer to me. 

thanks for listening everyone.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Jerry, it is good to hear from you. Great news, too.

I would be direct with this woman, even a little off-putting or rude about it. Tell her it just isn't going to happen, and if she doesn't cool it you'll stop inviting her or make whatever changes necessary to not have her at your house. You could tell her next time she acts inappropriately you'll inform your wife or her husband or whomever would be problematic for her.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Overall good news.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Jerry, the next time she does that, walk with her, talking, until you reach where your wife is. Then stop, pat wife on the shoulder to get her attention, and say 'wife, ABC here is trying to get my attention, she can't understand my loyalty is to you. Care to set her straight?' 

And then walk away.

Oh, and great job.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

turnera said:


> Jerry, the next time she does that, walk with her, talking, until you reach where your wife is. Then stop, pat wife on the shoulder to get her attention, and say 'wife, ABC here is trying to get my attention, she can't understand my loyalty is to you. Care to set her straight?'
> 
> And then walk away.
> 
> Oh, and great job.


Exactly
Good to hear you again keep it up.
Like you told me earlier some time ago your wife knows this but turnera's idea is a good one.:iagree:


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## Tubbalard (Feb 8, 2015)

All you have to say is STOP and put her in her place. She keeps doing it because she knows you like it.

Buddy, this isn't hard.

Let me guess. You probably think she is attractive. Would you let a gay man touch your knees and thighs? Of course not. How does this woman get that close?

You said you've taken Steps? Lol. Why do you need to take steps? One step is all you need.

We know you secretly love it. You just fear your wife.

Recipe: The word stop, a scoop of curse words, 2 table spoons of glares, mix it all up and there you go.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Hey Jerry. 

'Bout fvcking time you showed up.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Well, next time she gets near you you let loose with a really creamy fart...

Those work.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> Well, next time she gets near you you let loose with a really creamy fart...
> 
> Those work.


Okay telling your work to drop you.:lol:
Just kidding.
Jerry plan this...
Get a sitter take your wife out to a high end steak house or seafood I can go either way.
Go home and have some mind blowing sex hey why not.

Then have a talk with her tell her straight up what's been going on.
Now is her husband a schlep or is he a decent guy.
Jerry if this was the other way around I mean pass it on.

I'm serious it's time to have a talk with w on what course to take as a team.
Think about it you may save this guy years of pain will it cause sh!t in her family, sure that's why she deserves a say but needs to make an informed decision.
Okay rant over.


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## jerry123 (Apr 9, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> Hey Jerry.
> 
> 'Bout fvcking time you showed up.


I know...

Been a tough year, not anything to do with me but my sister died of a heroin overdose in January. 

Been on MMSLP blog reading things there. 

And yeah, believe me I've made it known it won't happen with this woman. She is still aggressive. Honestly, the more I seem to tell to back off the more she tries to pursue. 

And no, she's not very attractive. Probably a 6 on a scale of 1-10. But I get the MMSLP premise that I'm an 8. Lower SR will pursue higher SR. 

Her husband is a good guy, I just can't seem to let him know what's going on and break up their family. I figure if she does this with me and eventually moves on she will pursue someone else and get caught.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

This has happened to me with a close family member. After the second overt pass at me, I sent a very clear and direct email to him the next morning warning him if he ever did it again, I would tell his wife. He never did and that was 5 years ago.


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## jerry123 (Apr 9, 2012)

SecondTime'Round said:


> This has happened to me with a close family member. After the second overt pass at me, I sent a very clear and direct email to him the next morning warning him if he ever did it again, I would tell his wife. He never did and that was 5 years ago.


Yeah, I've never threatened to inform my wife or her husband but that's what I might have to do. Just don't know if she's bat sh!t crazy enough to turn it around and inform her husband that I was making at pass at her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Wear a VAR around her so you have proof. Or set up a nanny cam in your house.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

jerry123 said:


> I know...
> 
> Been a tough year, not anything to do with me but my sister died of a heroin overdose in January.
> 
> ...


That's why you hand it over to the pros - the other WOMEN. They'll take her down quick.

I'm so sorry about your sister.


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## Colonel Angus (Apr 11, 2015)

Best to let your wife know than to simply reject this woman and naively believe she'll take it nicely. You would do well sir to remember the old saying about a woman scorned.



If I overstayed my welcome, just tap me on the head.


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

turnera said:


> That's why you hand it over to the pros - the other WOMEN. They'll take her down quick.
> 
> I'm so sorry about your sister.


Got that right. You should see my wife in action! Rambo's got nothing on her.


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## jerry123 (Apr 9, 2012)

The VAR is a great idea.

I would hope the advances would just shut down after I made it known it won't happen but I guess she does not take a hint. 

Like I said, I'm more worried about this going the other way and this woman telling the whole family is was me going after her. With the VAR I'd have proof.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

I don't understand why it is counter productive to tell your wife about this woman. Can you elaborate? 

I guess, I don't understand why you wouldn't just be transparent with your wife.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Seriously, if some chick was hitting on my husband and he never told me, I would be furious. At HIM. And I'd now be distrusting him, thinking he didn't tell me so he could maybe get somewhere with that other woman.


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## jerry123 (Apr 9, 2012)

In the past year I've gotten "hit on" quite a few times. A few when wife was there, a few when she was not. 

It's just this woman is family. I have small family, she has big. And they are a doosie of a family. There's a mix of drug addicts, losers, scammers. And they all gossip. It starts at one family member and by the time it gets around the story has totally changed. We stay out of that crap. 

If it came to be a constant thing like this woman was calling, texting me all the time I would inform my wife. 

Other than the touch knee and touching arm it's not gone further. This woman is aggressive but she knows not to go to far. She's def seeing if I would nibble on hook in her approach. Im not...

If I inform my wife and it got around that this woman was touching me on knee, it would turn into a full blown "these two have been having sex for years" by the time it got around. 

But yes, you are correct that I could tell my wife and say next time she's here, my wife could have a private discussion with her. And give her one warning that if it continues to happen her husband will be informed.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

jerry123 said:


> In the past year I've gotten "hit on" quite a few times. A few when wife was there, a few when she was not.
> 
> It's just this woman is family. I have small family, she has big. And they are a doosie of a family. There's a mix of drug addicts, losers, scammers. And they all gossip. It starts at one family member and by the time it gets around the story has totally changed. We stay out of that crap.
> 
> ...


Jerry maybe this would be the best solution or next time there is a family function you just don't go and tell her why.
I am not saying you are walking on eggshells but this sh!t will come to a head at some point.
Just my 2 cents.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Sorry to hear about your sister.

Hospital job. That's a career switch.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Tool and die to nurse? Wow. 

I'm sorry to hear about your sis. That is awful.


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## jerry123 (Apr 9, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> Tool and die to nurse? Wow.
> 
> I'm sorry to hear about your sis. That is awful.


No nurse here. I don't want to get into exact job but it's def alpha.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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