# sexless marriage - where to start



## bob1471 (Dec 27, 2013)

OK, first off not interested in the leave her/not leave her thing. I just want advice on how to sort.

Been married 20 years. 2 kids. Our sex life is almost non-existent. Penatrative sex probably 1-2 in last 3 years. Our sex life is limited to basically the wife pleasuring me (i.e. tossing me off). Not great eh? And this is happening less and less.

How'd we get here? Well shes never been the most active but I guess I married her. I'm partly to blame. I put on a lot of weght (still that way) and she tried, she mentioned it but eventually I guess she just lost interest in me and gave up. Hey ho - probably my fault there.

She was pregnant with last child and very ill. Even after pregnancy shes been very ill. Fibromyalgia. Was off work for almost 2 years. Things have been very tough for her looking after a baby/toddler and being ill herself. That really affected things. Some days shes exhausted...

Baby is now almost 3. Wife is back in work, coping a little better with things. But these things have all taken their toll.

Where to start with this one?

I think at the moment, shes just not interested. Like I said, it was going downhill before, and now, her illness has pretty much killed things off.

For me, its not great. Lots of sorting myself out. Sometimes I think well it is what it is, we are where we are and ive got myself to blame sometimes. But then I get to thinking I 'should' have sex sometimes at least.

Yeh you could say that wife should be more respectful of my needs and sort things out. You could also say I need to get into shape a bit more to get things going that way....

Comment please?


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Read "Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011" by Athol Kay. Highly recommended book. Your best start is to lose the weight, but you already know that.


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## BirdieToldMe (Jan 16, 2016)

Do you feel like you could sit down and have a direct but nice talk with her about all of this? A conversation and not an argument? Perhaps you could start off by acknowledging your own faults and tell her what steps you're going to start taking to get healthier. Then you could maybe ask about her health and happiness and see if she's upset about where things stand with you two. Chances are she's not thrilled, either. You would just need to tread carefully on her feelings but also make sure that your feelings are heard.


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## 41362 (Dec 14, 2012)

What's "a lot of weght," Bob? It's very possible that your wife loves you, but is no longer attracted to you...and she may have some resentment that you refuse to take care of yourself. That sucks, but you can fix it. I have been married for 20 years and at one time I weighed 300+... now I run half marathons, workout religiously, and really consider what I eat...It took some work, but our marriage is strong and sex is no longer an issue.

You can read my journey in my sig


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## bob1471 (Dec 27, 2013)

Well. Some good replies here. Thanks. 

Not sure about one or two. Not quite sure why some feel the need to be so aggressive but there we go.


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## bob1471 (Dec 27, 2013)

Cheers 413. Prob 250 or so at the mo which is prob 55 or so too much.

I was prob 170 20 yrs ago.


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## EVG39 (Jun 4, 2015)

Bob, I'll ditto the others. Tackle the weight issue right now. Its one thing that is totally in your control and the one that will make you feel better about yourself. And if you feel better about yourself you are going to be a much more attractive and happier guy to be around. She'll notice that , but lose the weight for you, not her. You owe it to yourself.
Good Luck


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Start by losing the weight. 

Aside from that most women don't find fat guys hot, it's kinda hard to respect someone that doesn't respect himself enough to stay reasonably fit.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

I agree with losing the weight. Some men don't think weight bothers women as much as men but it does. 

Few people are turned on by fat.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Eagle3 (Dec 4, 2013)

I echo the others right off the bat control what you can and that is the weight. Although when you were leaner was she wanting sex at the rate you did? Cause that wont be the cure all. But how much have you talked to her about your sex life? Are you just hoping she wakes up one day and starts attacking you? Are you doing your share helping her with the kids and around the house?

But really talk to her, tell her you want more sex with her and that you desire her. Ask her what she likes or what would get her more in the mood to have sex with you. Talk talk talk to her man its your wife you gotta be able to talk about your sex life with her more than anybody.

Hope things get better soon.


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## 41362 (Dec 14, 2012)

Well, then do something about it so that we can cheer bob1471. As others have said, you have to want it for you. You have to do it for yourself.

I know it looks like an unclimbable mountain, but it can be done and you can do it.


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## MachoMcCoy (Oct 20, 2014)

bob1471 said:


> wife pleasuring me (i.e. tossing me off).


:scratchhead:


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## Quigster (Aug 1, 2015)

MachoMcCoy said:


> :scratchhead:


"Tossing him off" is British slang. In America we would say "jacking him off."


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## MachoMcCoy (Oct 20, 2014)

Quigster said:


> "Tossing him off" is British slang. In America we would say "jacking him off."


And that's a problem? I'd take that any day.


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## Quigster (Aug 1, 2015)

MachoMcCoy said:


> And that's a problem? I'd take that any day.


As a substitute for intercourse?


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## bob1471 (Dec 27, 2013)

Two continents divided by a common language. Lol


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## bob1471 (Dec 27, 2013)

Thanks all for the sensible opinions. In answer yes we used to be matches pretty much maybe me a bit more.

Deffo weight I think. Here we go. Wish me luck.


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

First of all, I think you do have more insight than you realize and it is good to see that you understand that your wife does not have as much interest in sex as you do and that you can contribute that to the very things that I think are effecting your relationship with her.....her health-HUGE one, at least you see it!!! I can vouch that if your health is suffering (at least for me) sex is thew last thing on my mind. Small children take alot out of a person and women put so much of themselves into caring for everyone so there is no doubt she is exhausted, again though, you see that and you deserve a pat on the back!

The weight....you said she mentioned it and I can say for myself with my husband weight is an issue. I am not attracted to my husband physically. He used to be fit, you could see his abs, he jogged and lifted weights. he was military and had to keep in shape. One of things we talked about when we were dating was that it was important to me that he stay fit and active, I am active person and I really didn't want to spend my life with an inactive person. I saw how his family was, all over weight and all inactive and letting their health fall apart and just accepting it rather being proactive. This was why I even spoke to him about it. he said he didn't want to be anything like his family, was glad he joined the military. Once he retired he got really lazy and he no longer had to make those weigh-ins and no longer had mandatory fitness. It took him no time at all to gain 50 lbs. he looks like he is 7 months pg. The times we have had sex I feel like my backbone has been ground to the back side of the mattress. When he dresses and undresses, I leave the room. He walks around in a towel after he baths and I have a very hard time seeing him like this. So if your wife has mentioned it, seriously, get yourself on a program and get to the gym!

Realize though too, as much insight as you do have her level of desire simply is not what yours is and her mind is more than likely NOT thinking about sex like you are. So this is not a injustice to you and not anything to take personally or think something is wrong. She might be happy the way things are just become her hormones are not pumping out those sexual thoughts and desires. I personally do not agree with the thought that some have that your wife owes you and should submit to keep you happy. That is not far to your wife. You wouldn't expect this when you were dating, why would you expect it now. I am not saying you are expecting this, I just know how some of the people in this group think. Give your wife the respect she deserves. It is good to see a man here with some compassion on the subject. No doubt you are well experienced in meeting your own needs and as long as your hands are broken, well.

Women need to know that they are loved and appreciated for who they are as a person and not for what you can get from their body. Give her a hug without associating it to sex, tell her you love her without expecting action in the bedroom, sit with her and talk about the things with the house and kids, help her with the projects she needs help with, be her partner with the sexual connection. Stay away from porn, don't be lusting after other women. Let her know how much she means to you and when a man does this I think he will be amazed how differently his wife will see him.

Yes, there is the physical appearance but it is a large part how you treat your wife. If she feels all she is to you is a means for your sexual relief, pleasing you will get real old and she will feel used.


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## bob1471 (Dec 27, 2013)

Avr - wow what a great helpful post. Thanks so much for taking the time.

It's good to know there are some decent people on this forum. ?


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

I'm going to echo the majority and advise that you concentrate on getting in shape. You don't need to become super fitness model but you need to get healthy. It's for you, your child, and your wife. 

A regimen of resistance & cardio will help you reach a healthy weight. The workouts don't need to be long. 4 30 to 45 minutes workouts a week can get you on the right path. 

I'm also going to recommend that you read the MMSL primer. It can be downloaded via Amazon. It's a guide for married men to help them become better more desirable husbands.

I would advise to stop pursuing these pity hand jobs. I would bet she feels disgusted doing them. Work on getting in shape. No jerking it to porn either. Let your desire push you to work out harder. Go old school boxer. No sex until you reach your goal. You want those T levels going through the roof.

When she see's the improvements and your persistent work, she'll respond.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

bob1471 said:


> Thanks all for the sensible opinions. In answer yes we used to be matches pretty much maybe me a bit more.
> 
> Deffo weight I think. Here we go. Wish me luck.


Look into low-carb paleo and learn how to cook. You can do it.


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## 41362 (Dec 14, 2012)

Fozzy said:


> Look into low-carb paleo and learn how to cook. You can do it.


Not too low on the carbs...he'll need to fuel his workout.

That said, do your carb research, Bob. You want fewer carbs, but the carbs you do take in need to be "good carbs"


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## 41362 (Dec 14, 2012)

There's some good stuff in these articles.

Weight Loss | Runner's World


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## EVG39 (Jun 4, 2015)

"The weight....you said she mentioned it and I can say for myself with my husband weight is an issue. I am not attracted to my husband physically. He used to be fit, you could see his abs, he jogged and lifted weights. he was military and had to keep in shape. One of things we talked about when we were dating was that it was important to me that he stay fit and active, I am active person and I really didn't want to spend my life with an inactive person. I saw how his family was, all over weight and all inactive and letting their health fall apart and just accepting it rather being proactive. This was why I even spoke to him about it. he said he didn't want to be anything like his family, was glad he joined the military. Once he retired he got really lazy and he no longer had to make those weigh-ins and no longer had mandatory fitness. It took him no time at all to gain 50 lbs. he looks like he is 7 months pg. The times we have had sex I feel like my backbone has been ground to the back side of the mattress. When he dresses and undresses, I leave the room. He walks around in a towel after he baths and I have a very hard time seeing him like this. So if your wife has mentioned it, seriously, get yourself on a program and get to the gym!" AVR

Anybody besides me thinking of taping this to the fridge and the bathroom mirror? That's darn motivating:smile2:


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## 41362 (Dec 14, 2012)

EVG39 said:


> "The weight....you said she mentioned it and I can say for myself with my husband weight is an issue. I am not attracted to my husband physically. He used to be fit, you could see his abs, he jogged and lifted weights. he was military and had to keep in shape. One of things we talked about when we were dating was that it was important to me that he stay fit and active, I am active person and I really didn't want to spend my life with an inactive person. I saw how his family was, all over weight and all inactive and letting their health fall apart and just accepting it rather being proactive. This was why I even spoke to him about it. he said he didn't want to be anything like his family, was glad he joined the military. Once he retired he got really lazy and he no longer had to make those weigh-ins and no longer had mandatory fitness. It took him no time at all to gain 50 lbs. he looks like he is 7 months pg. The times we have had sex I feel like my backbone has been ground to the back side of the mattress. When he dresses and undresses, I leave the room. He walks around in a towel after he baths and I have a very hard time seeing him like this. So if your wife has mentioned it, seriously, get yourself on a program and get to the gym!" AVR
> 
> Anybody besides me thinking of taping this to the fridge and the bathroom mirror? That's darn motivating:smile2:


As a guy who went through that, it is hugely motivating....once you wake up to the reality. Denial is some strong voodoo.


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## NorCalMan (Dec 14, 2011)

I wish my wife would .... 'toss me off"!


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## naiveonedave (Jan 9, 2014)

41362 said:


> Not too low on the carbs...he'll need to fuel his workout.
> 
> That said, do your carb research, Bob. You want fewer carbs, but the carbs you do take in need to be "good carbs"


you have to go low carb to burn fat, else all the calories you burn are the carbs you are eating.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

I had some impressive results going with a ketogenic paleo diet. You pretty much have to shoot for zero NET carbs--or as close to it as you can manage. Yeah, you feel like dog-poo the first week or so but once your body adjusts to burning fat as its main fuel--it's pretty fantastic.

Downside is that planning, cooking and label reading is a MUST. It's hard, but it's very effective.


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## 41362 (Dec 14, 2012)

naiveonedave said:


> you have to go low carb to burn fat, else all the calories you burn are the carbs you are eating.


Agreed...

The emphasis is on low and what type. No carbs at all typically results in exhaustion...especially if he is just getting started. He needs to learn the difference between "whole" carbs and "refined" carbs. (The latter are evil). 

Bob, I highly recommend discussing this with your PCP. While you're there, please ask for a referral for clinical nutritionist that can help guide you.


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## 41362 (Dec 14, 2012)

Fozzy said:


> I had some impressive results going with a ketogenic paleo diet. You pretty much have to shoot for zero NET carbs--or as close to it as you can manage. Yeah, you feel like dog-poo the first week or so but once your body adjusts to burning fat as its main fuel--it's pretty fantastic.
> 
> *Downside is that planning, cooking and label reading is a MUST. It's hard, but it's very effective.*


All depends on which route is best for you... 

That latter part I bolded because it's so important. I would also really recommend a kitchen scale. "Eyeballing" a cup or a 3 ounce serving doesn't work.

I also recommend a food journal


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

41362 said:


> Not too low on the carbs...he'll need to fuel his workout.
> 
> That said, do your carb research, Bob. You want fewer carbs, but the carbs you do take in need to be "good carbs"


I cut carbs almost completely out and kept up the energy levels by eating good quality fats.

Helps support T production, too.


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## MachoMcCoy (Oct 20, 2014)

Quigster said:


> As a substitute for intercourse?


No. As a substitute for no intercourse.


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## Deguello (Apr 3, 2015)

I really do understand,we've been together 45 years,married 42.5,our sex life went to S**t in 2010,from 1/2 to 1 per month,part of that is my fault (I was dealing with a porn issue) however,she reconnected with a female class mate from ES/HS days in 2010,our sex life dropped to 1X PER MONTH. Overnight,We talked about it,repeatedly no real change. Then last year,she says I don’t. Need sex as much as you do,It is a MARITAL OBLIGATION for me not something I want to do. Read my thread,in general relationship (Wife Behaving Weird,need some input)for the story.


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## Deguello (Apr 3, 2015)

I personally don't think there os a good substitue for intercourse.


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## bob1471 (Dec 27, 2013)

Thanks all. Joined gym. Diet started.

One thing that does cause me to stress myself. I think I should be pushing it with wife and not letting her brush it all under the carpet. At the mo it just doesn't get discussed. Partly my fault but it causes arguments.

So what to do? Wait sort out my weight problem and hope it sorts itself our? Wait until I have then bring it up? Or push things now?


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

You need "Married Man's Sex Life Primer". Read it, learn it, live it.


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## EVG39 (Jun 4, 2015)

Follow technovelist's advice. That's the book you need. And yes until you fix the weight and otherwise clean up your side of the street you should STFU. Hard as that may be to do.


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## tommyr (May 25, 2014)

Somebody mentioned keeping a food journal. I highly recommend a phone app MyFitnessPal. It makes it sooo easy to keep track of every single bite and sip throughout my day. I used this to reach my (admittedly extreme) goal of 8% bodyfat. But this app is so awesome and easy to use I would call it the #1 most powerful tool for anybody trying to loose weight.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

@bob1491, What's the point of rehashing the same conversation over again? Your wife has told you she's not sexually attracted to you. You know your weight plays a role in her lack of sexual attraction to you. Her response to the sex question will not change until something changes. 

Make the change (weight loss) THEN bring up the topic. 

I think you do need a timeline to measure success. Keep an internal journal. Lose half the weight (25 lbs) and reassess the situation. Ask yourself if your wife is more attentive to you after the 25 lbs loss? Repeat at 50 lbs. Repeat at x % body fat comp. Etc.. I think you'll find that you won't have to say a word of you are successful on your weight loss journey.


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## bob1471 (Dec 27, 2013)

Fair point I know I've got to get **** sorted. Just got that book on Kindle btw.

There so seem to be different opinions here tho. Some say sort yourself first before having the talk and I'm tending towards this I must admit.

It's just the little voice in my head and some posters here saying hey its a right and she should put out. I think Yeh I'm overweight but is it that hard for you? 99% sure that's not the way but I still wonder.

Maybe the book will help me understand.?


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## EVG39 (Jun 4, 2015)

Bob, want to put this question to rest? Take a look at yourself in the mirror naked after you shower. Ask yourself if you were a woman would you want to sleep with this guy.
That should be all you need to do to know what comes first.


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## 41362 (Dec 14, 2012)

bob1471 said:


> Fair point I know I've got to get **** sorted. Just got that book on Kindle btw.
> 
> There so seem to be different opinions here tho. Some say sort yourself first before having the talk and I'm tending towards this I must admit.
> 
> ...



Actions speak louder than words, Bob. Get your sh*# together and then have the talk. Not only will you look and feel better, you'll have a whole new batch of confidence.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

bob1471 said:


> Fair point I know I've got to get **** sorted. Just got that book on Kindle btw.
> 
> There so seem to be different opinions here tho. Some say sort yourself first before having the talk and I'm tending towards this I must admit.
> 
> ...


Contrary to what some people believe, love _is not_ blind. 

This idea that she should put out regardless of her sexual attraction to you will be interpreted by her that she's just a 'masturbation tool' for your pleasure. Her feelings are inconsequential. She should just lay there, close her eyes and 'think of England' until you finish. This is not sexy.

You need to figure out what you really want to get out of sex. Would you be willing to accept starfish sex knowing your wife feels zero sexual attraction for you or do you want her to genuinely desire/ please you?


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## BBF (May 21, 2015)

Lose weight and she'll see that you're making a tremendous effort. I'm 5'10" and at one time was 212 lbs. WAY too fat. Went on a common sense regimen, cut out all alcohol, decreased sugars, cut portion sizes, and generally behaved well. Started to work out seriously at the gym. Today, I'm 170 lbs, size 32/32 jeans, and a nice V shape. Bear in mind, I'm almost 70. If I can do it; you can too. Set a goal and work it sensibly. Plus, all that fat is a testosterone killer. Get fit and you'll not only be able to swagger, you'll actually swagger. 

As for the impact on my wife...can't have everything. Hard to see how nice hubby looks when you're looking thorough a bottle. Alcohol has replaced me as her first love. So, if you're wife isn't a drunk, you'll be way ahead.


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## bob1471 (Dec 27, 2013)

EVG39 said:


> Bob, want to put this question to rest? Take a look at yourself in the mirror naked after you shower. Ask yourself if you were a woman would you want to sleep with this guy.
> That should be all you need to do to know what comes first.


Yes I will admit its not great.... And I'm not disagreeing but I'm probably not the ugliest/fattest person in the world yet others dont have the problem. :-(


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## bob1471 (Dec 27, 2013)

Lila said:


> Contrary to what some people believe, love _is not_ blind.
> 
> This idea that she should put out regardless of her sexual attraction to you will be interpreted by her that she's just a 'masturbation tool' for your pleasure. Her feelings are inconsequential. She should just lay there, close her eyes and 'think of England' until you finish. This is not sexy.
> 
> You need to figure out what you really want to get out of sex. Would you be willing to accept starfish sex knowing your wife feels zero sexual attraction for you or do you want her to genuinely desire/ please you?


You have a very good point here. I understand what you're saying but we're at the stage I think where shes not bothered and I very much am so something has got to be sorted.

We had a talk today (yes I know I should have left it) and shes said since shes been ill shes not interested in sex at all. Apparently this is common with fibromyalgia. So its a bit like a perfect storm for no sex at the moment. She was never the keenest, shes constantly tired and in pain, her sex drive seems to have been turned off, and hubby is not the most attractive!!!! :surprise:

Stupidly, I did push it a bit. She said she didnt want to talk about it right now and I didnt listen. I think what she meant was she didnt want to come straight out and say she doesnt want sex with me.

One thing that constantly plays on my mind though. Yes I've put on weight but so has she. But honestly, apart from that I treat her very well (I think anyway!), I'd do anything for her. I work hard, earn lots of money (got a stressful job though!) and shes got a great life otherwise. But then she can't see all this stuff and can't see past a bit of extra weight with me. Makes me a bit sad. I just think of guys out there who treat their wives like complete crap and they dont suffer like this.

But yes I know, its up to me. Lose the weight see how things are. And read the book! >


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

bob1471 said:


> One thing that constantly plays on my mind though. Yes I've put on weight but so has she. But honestly, apart from that I treat her very well (I think anyway!), I'd do anything for her. I work hard, earn lots of money (got a stressful job though!) and shes got a great life otherwise. But then she can't see all this stuff and can't see past a bit of extra weight with me. Makes me a bit sad. I just think of guys out there who treat their wives like complete crap and they dont suffer like this.
> 
> But yes I know, its up to me. Lose the weight see how things are. And read the book! >


Exactly. Let us know how it works out.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

And when you lose the weight there's going to be another issue then another...

If it was only this simple.


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## tommyr (May 25, 2014)

john117 said:


> And when you lose the weight there's going to be another issue then another...
> 
> If it was only this simple.



Maybe there will be another issue. At least he is at a healthier weight, and will feel better, more desirable, more confident. This is all good stuff, and yes this really is quite simple. The basic laws of attraction apply 100% whether in marriage or in high school. If the wife still doesn't come along, then he's at least looking good to attract his next female partner when the marriage fails (as most sexless marriages do).

Here is my view: if you are unhappy about not getting enough sex, step 1 is to make sure YOU are doing everything humanly possible to be the most sexually desirable version of yourself. No excuses! you want more sex? Get fit and stay fit. Dress well. Be a loving and decent person to your partner.

No guarantees that it will make any difference with your current relationship. But I CAN guarantee that overweight horny dudes with poor dress and hygiene have a tough time starting the next relationship.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

So, only healthy fit people procreate. Sexual eugenics at work


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## wellseasoned (Jan 8, 2016)

Imaging shoveling a driveway after a big snow fall, the next day you feel like your dying, that's Fibromyalgia. Then, try getting in the mood for some hot sex? 
Illness can cause depression, then top it off with 2 young children, Wow! 
First off Bob, you should be proud in the fact that you have made it 20 years with children, keeping a marriage, paying bills, holding a job. That's some serious stuff. 
In most marriages, its quite typical to have a waning sex life after 20 or so years. Specially after a women has a child or more, her hormones and other things change. Believe it or not, so does yours. 

Losing weight may not be the underlying issue, although you should try to care for yourself, after all Bob, there is only one you. The issue is the daily life struggles of family, stress and illness constantly pulling you down.
When I first met my wife long ago, we spent hours making out, this would create a zone of "I've got to have you", as we age, we tend not to make out for hours, rather we just get naked and have quick sex. 
Trying to get a high sex drive out of a person that just doesn't have it is futile. I know it sounds depressing, but its true. We are getting older, and the things we used to do are not going to be at the same rate we did when we were younger. Add sickness to the mix, you have a recipe for getting older.
In this situation, the Hand may be your best friend.:wink2: Take care.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

@wellseasoned, the Rationalization Hamster you just described ought to enter a race...

I'm old (56) and in decent health. Should I summarily bury my desires because priorities, not illness, are my wife's primary line of sexual defense? I'm not expecting HD but I'm not expecting ZD either.

I wonder who's the target market for all the gray hair Cialis and Viagra commercials...


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## bob1471 (Dec 27, 2013)

wellseasoned said:


> Imaging shoveling a driveway after a big snow fall, the next day you feel like your dying, that's Fibromyalgia. Then, try getting in the mood for some hot sex?
> Illness can cause depression, then top it off with 2 young children, Wow!
> First off Bob, you should be proud in the fact that you have made it 20 years with children, keeping a marriage, paying bills, holding a job. That's some serious stuff.
> In most marriages, its quite typical to have a waning sex life after 20 or so years. Specially after a women has a child or more, her hormones and other things change. Believe it or not, so does yours.
> ...


Thanks for the perspective. As you say above, I think there may be more than just my weight.

She also takes Anti-depressants (which also help with fibro) so shes admiotted its killed off her sex drive stone dead. SSRIs do this - I remember being on them years ago.

Well, diet and exercise is best plan ANYWAY so we'll see how it goes.


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## bob1471 (Dec 27, 2013)

bob1471 said:


> Fair point I know I've got to get **** sorted. Just got that book on Kindle btw.
> 
> There so seem to be different opinions here tho. Some say sort yourself first before having the talk and I'm tending towards this I must admit.
> 
> ...


Well half way throught the book. Some good points I must admit. Like the idea of a score out of 10 thing.

Made me think. I reckon when we met I was an 8 she was a 7. Probably both 7 when we got married.

20+ years ago that was. Until last few years I reckon she'd have been a good 6 still prob 4/5 now. As for me, well, sadly I'd have to say 3/4 for me and even then only because of my job etc. Long way for me to get back to you.

One thing I didnt like about the book. The author mentioning how things were with his wife etc. Seemed to come across as sort of I've cracked it, sorted my wife out, kicked her down, and I know it all sort of thing. 

Who is the guy anyway? And I wonder where the research for some of this stuff comes from?

Then again like I said, a lot made a lot of sense.


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