# Question for men



## married woman (May 4, 2011)

Men, after you masturbate, are you less attracted to your wife or less motivated to come to her for sex because you have already had your release that day? I think alot of women would assume this would be the case but it's extremely clear that men and women think completely differently so I thought I'd ask and not assume.


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## hurtbyher (Nov 19, 2009)

I usually masterbate for the release. My nuts hurt if I dont when the wife is not giving me any sex. The relief is temperary so I am interested in sex if she comes a wanting some. I would much rather make love to my wife but she seems to have a very low drive sometimes.


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## wildside (Aug 23, 2011)

:iagree: I do it for a release, but given a brief rest period, and the wife is willing I could definitely go again, and I would prefer it to be with her.


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## married woman (May 4, 2011)

okay...but does it make you less likely to initiate sex with your wife?


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## wildside (Aug 23, 2011)

To some degree...if I do it then I am definitely less likely to initiate for the next 3-4 hours. However if I do it in the morning before work, by the time I come home I am ready to go again.


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## roymcavoy (Apr 15, 2011)

married woman said:


> okay...but does it make you less likely to initiate sex with your wife?


Yep. For that reason, I only do it when I feel pretty confident she is too tired and frazzled after a long day to put out. I could "rally" if she really wanted it...but, I can't remember that ever being an issue.


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## txhunter54 (Jul 4, 2010)

wildside said:


> :iagree: I do it for a release, but given a brief rest period, and the wife is willing I could definitely go again, and I would prefer it to be with her.


:iagree:


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

it stems the desire and hence it lessens the impending frustration


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## wildside (Aug 23, 2011)

roymcavoy said:


> Yep. For that reason, I only do it when I feel pretty confident she is too tired and frazzled after a long day to put out. I could "rally" if she really wanted it...but, I can't remember that ever being an issue.


Exactly. Do it when you KNOW she isn't going to want it. Only once in about five years have I done that and then had her come to me wanting sex shortly after. We fooled around for awhile until I was ready, and then we got to business.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

wildside said:


> Exactly. Do it when you KNOW she isn't going to want it. Only once in about five years have I done that and then had her come to me wanting sex shortly after. We fooled around for awhile until I was ready, and then we got to business.


some of these responses assume that the wife actually shows interest and sometimes initiates sex. not the case for me, the act described curbs appetite and makes it easier to do without.


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## married woman (May 4, 2011)

If you are in a disagreement with your wife, would it make you want to masturbate more and if so would it be because you would think it would be unlikely that you would be having sex anytime soon? Thanks for all the honest answers guys!


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## wildside (Aug 23, 2011)

If we were in the midst of a dispute I would tend to think that she would not want sex. As a result, when I "got the urge" I would just take care of it myself (assuming the dispute is still ongoing). I know when my wife and I are arguing sex tends to not happen (assuming its a serious dispute, and not something petty)


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## roymcavoy (Apr 15, 2011)

married woman said:


> If you are in a disagreement with your wife, would it make you want to masturbate more and if so would it be because you would think it would be unlikely that you would be having sex anytime soon? Thanks for all the honest answers guys!


I wouldn't say a disagreement would necessarily cause me to want to masturbate any more or less. However, in the midst of a disagreement -- I could probably assume, with greater confidence -- that sex is out of the question tonight. I certainly would not initiate sex under those circumstances...until we'd reached some sort of resolution.


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## roymcavoy (Apr 15, 2011)

BTW, I should add...we've been married 26 years...and, for nearly 25 of them, my low drive wife had NO IDEA I was masturbating (which I, clearly, should have communicated a long time ago). After explaining that I *needed* that release more frequently than she was available -- she was perfectly fine with it. As a matter of fact, the whole idea kind of turned her on a bit. And, occasionally now, she likes to watch -- but, I try not to "overplay" that card.


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## frustr8dhubby (Dec 23, 2010)

For me it is pretty much a physical release. I get little to no actual sexual satisfaction out of it so if the stars are aligned and the children aren't home, and whatever other universe factors she needs to come in to play, I am in for sex with her any time!  (In other words, no it has no affect on my desire or attraction for her!)


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

If a man is starving sexually from his wife, he will likely still want it and probably be able to perform out of sheer excietement if she is suddenly willing - like Frist8hubby tried to explain above. 

BUt on the other hand, if the wife keeps you drained (my husband has no need to masterbate) and at his age, if he had a release that day, he is pretty near out for the day. Doesn't mean he wouldn't want to get in the mood, but physically he would struggle. 

Back in his younger years, this would not be the case. MY husband initiates me more for the emotional connection over a physically "needing" release, as he has gotten older, that has tamed considerably. 

Bummer.


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## kelevra (May 19, 2011)

Sometimes if it's been awhile and I know we are going to really go at it later I'll knock one off so that I'll last extra long for her. It's no secret to her either : )~


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

married woman said:


> okay...but does it make you less likely to initiate sex with your wife?


Yes.


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## uphillbattle (Aug 17, 2011)

frustr8dhubby said:


> For me it is pretty much a physical release. I get little to no actual sexual satisfaction out of it so if the stars are aligned and the children aren't home, and whatever other universe factors she needs to come in to play, I am in for sex with her any time!  (In other words, no it has no affect on my desire or attraction for her!)


:iagree:


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

married woman said:


> so I thought I'd ask and not assume.



Why? What are you concerned about?


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## LonelyHusband (Sep 2, 2011)

I mainly do it for release, but usually during a fantasy in my mind with her...she won't have sex with me and tells me she is not attracted to me anymore. I'd much rather have sex with her than masterbate, but that's not an option right now.


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## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

married woman said:


> Men, after you masturbate, are you less attracted to your wife or less motivated to come to her for sex because you have already had your release that day? I think alot of women would assume this would be the case but it's extremely clear that men and women think completely differently so I thought I'd ask and not assume.


Ill slightly skewer your question with an answer.

Right after ejaculation from sex, sex and intimacy are very far from my mind. I had my release, lets watch TV!!! And make me a sandwich! I really have no interest in anything sexual afterwords for a few minutes, unless we continue fooling around. But when Im done, Im done. No cuddles, no nothing. Albeit I do my best to give her a little post-sex affection cuz she lieks it

As far as masturbation goes, to be honest Id think most guys are capable of masturbating and having sex in the same day. Even multiple times, not every day mind.


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## PFTGuy (Aug 28, 2011)

We sometimes go weeks, up to a month, without sex, so I do it for the release. I'd still be up for it that night, if she decided that was the night for her.

Helps me to last longer, too.


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## Monty4321 (Jul 15, 2011)

married woman said:


> If you are in a disagreement with your wife, would it make you want to masturbate more and if so would it be because you would think it would be unlikely that you would be having sex anytime soon? Thanks for all the honest answers guys!


If I'm in disagreement with her, it would make me more likely to do so. And yes, it is because I would think that sex isn't an option.


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## Monty4321 (Jul 15, 2011)

If I were to masturbate, it would lessen my drive to ask wife for sex. If I masturbated because I wanted wife but knew it wasn't an option because of a long day for her, I would still want it, but I wouldn't pursue her until I recovered - perhaps the next day (at least 8 hours for me). In this case, it's only for a quick relief until she's ready.


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## Elliott (Sep 13, 2011)

married woman said:


> Men, after you masturbate, are you less attracted to your wife or less motivated to come to her for sex because you have already had your release that day? I think alot of women would assume this would be the case but it's extremely clear that men and women think completely differently so I thought I'd ask and not assume.


Honestly both. After that first release (I only have 2 during sex, unless the wife really puts in work and gets me that magical third) I tear down the wife (If I can convince her to have sex with me, since she's never in the mood)like a demolition company does a building :lol:

But when the wife doesn't want to have sex (which seems like everyday) I'm temporally satisfied because real sex satisfies me with just two orgasms. Masturbating takes six orgasms.


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## Wantsmore (Sep 13, 2011)

The more I have to do it myself the more I want her. There is nothing that replaces the touch of a real woman. Never going to happen.

Honestly, sometimes IF and that is big if I know I am going to get some I will sometimes rub one out right before heading up to bed. The release makes for a much longer performance.

Some times she wonders why I last so long, I am not about to tell her. I can almost get her to orgasm with intercourse this way almost every time. 

Most times thought I do just for the fact I know I have a snow balls chance of scoring any that night.


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