# Feel like a Failure... Part of My story.



## lilmama (Jan 27, 2011)

I never once in my life thought I would be the person getting divorced... and my husband completely blind sided me with it when I was 8 months pregnant. He was shipped to Iraq and suddenly- he didn't want a wife and a baby anymore. I cant help but feel that maybe there is someone else- but I know this man better than anyone- we were best friends for years before dating or marriage. He isn't like that- but he did change. We've had our issues since we met- I fell for him instantly and he loved me too. But at that time I was with someone else that I had been with for a few years and then when I broke up and jumped into this relationship I realized how crazy it seemed. I left him. While we were broken up he joined the Army and we reconnected about 8 months later. I flew down to see him- we ended up gettin married the next day. We also got pregnant a few months after that. I know he resents me- but this wasn't all my fault. We are both grown and knew what the reprucusions would be for not using protection- and he was actually tryin to get me pregnant at one point. Now we are getting divorced and he wants a vasectomy... all while I sit at home raising our child... He is verbally abusive and has been since we got married. Why do I feel like a failure? Why does my son have to go through this? Why is my husband being sooooo selfish? I wish he could feel what I feel. Like when we almost lost our son- I was at the hospital for a month sitting with our baby until they let him out. My husband never sent me a letter or anything. I hate the fact that I had soo much faith in him and had soo much respect- its like he is proving me wrong... He used to say back in the day- that he was saving me from all the *******s I tend to attract- but now its like he is one of those guys... I just dont know what to think anymore and I'm angry with myself for still being soo in love with him... I feel lost.


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