# Question for the HD.



## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

This was a statement that I found on here yesterday that has me really thinking. The comment was that Men with HD it is easy for them to feel they are perverted because of their HD. I know in my marriage because I am always thinking about new sexual fantasys, that I also have the feeling deep down that I am very perverted. 

I try to hire my desire so my wife does not think of me in that way. 

Thoughts?


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## naga75 (Jul 5, 2012)

Dont hide things, to begin with. 
Maybe your wife feels the same way. Only one way to find out.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

Wouldn't it really depend on your wife if she is ok with it? What does it matter if others are not?

I'm of the opinion that there are different levels of what people term perverted. For instance bringing a 3rd party into the marriage tips the scales for me. The rest of the stuff that people talk about with fantasy is more like personal preference or kinkiness. (Although pain that leaves marks on the body sort of tips the scales for me too)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## wildoneforhorses (Mar 11, 2013)

I feel the same way HappyQuest. My H is always saying that I have a problem or I need to go talk to someone or is that all I ever think about because I like to talk about sex and different stuff. I'm not bashful about it but I guess my H is. So I just don't say half the things I really want to say! He might have me committed!


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

I'm not sure if I felt "perverted" by my high libido, but I initially felt bad about it.

But eventually I was able to understand that it is what it is and wasn't going to apologize to my wife for it.

The hard part was getting to a compromise with her where my needs were met.


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## AnnieAsh (Aug 22, 2012)

I'm the HD spouse and I've felt depraved the last few years. My husband has told me to chill out and that I'm always all over him. I'm a touchy feely grope you-in-the-kitchen girl, and I don't think he likes that. I've tried to reign it in but it doesn't stop the daydreaming.


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## naga75 (Jul 5, 2012)

Haha its funny to read about LD husbands (not mocking anyone though certainly), my wife seems to think that all men have sex on their minds as much as i do. I tell her that, really, a lot dont. 
She doesnt believe me lol. 
As stated by a previous poster, the hard part is making an agreeable compromise where we both have our needs met.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I'm the high drive one.SO seems to be gradually getting a higher drive but at first it was really tough.I felt perverted like I corrupting him when I'd talk about sex or fantasies.But I'd tell him that I felt that way.Hiding how you feel is never a good idea.I don't feel like a perv anymore and he's coming around to the idea that lots of sex and sharing fantasies is really great.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

HD female, in my past marriage I just learnt to not initiate or talk about our sexlife. I didn't feel perverted as such because I am not into anything that wild. I did feel like there was something wrong with me though for wanting sex.

Now with a compatible partner HD/HD and we have a great balance. We are both about the same on what we want and have wonderful conversations about life, love and sex. No need to feel perverted, weird etc.


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

I am HD and prior to my big guy I was in a couple of relationships where the men who tried to make me feel bad about having a strong sex drive. I don't think this is a male or female thing....I think it is a HD or LD thing. My big guy is what I would call a MD not as high as mine...he just likes to tease me and tells me to "Get my horney a** over here and take what I want" I love that man!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

So that your wife doesn't think of you in what way? Perverted?

Do you think of her in your fantasies, or is it someone else?

I ask this, because some men that I have known in my life, have a distinct difference. The wife \ gf is on a pedastal of respect, and the dirty fantasies are for someone else they don't respect.

Don't know if this applies to you, but sometimes you can have both. If someone you respect also agrees to trust you and explore those fantasies, it's a 1000 times better than you could imagine. Just sayin'.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

I have always felt like I was different. Probably since I was 15-16. After 47 years of marriage I could easily have sex 2-3 times a day. I didn't realise what the issue was till I came to TAM...Hey, I am just HD....I guess that explains a lot. I married a very demure, sweet girl...Lucky me, when you got past the demure sweet girl, you found a HD tiger of a woman...We have had the most wonderful exciting sex life you could ever imagine. Guess blind luck that we hooked up almost 50 years ago....


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## Cre8ify (Feb 1, 2012)

After repressing my HD for decades it is a relief to be out of the closet. That doesn't mean my wife understands me but at least she sees me as I really am.

Just this morning she called my drive "wacko". Obviously I took exception to that and pushed back at her HARD. I informed her that I am different from her, not better not worse, but very in touch with my sexual self as its provides emotional connection that is important to me. I also work out maniacally and see sex as a high form of physical expression. 

She could have used the word, "pervert" but has not. I think she will be more selective with her words going forward...and yes, this was a shet test that I passed.


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## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

I think that it is probably easier for an HD husband than it is for an HD wife. There is the perception out there that all men are HD, so it is expected. 

I wouldn't associate drive with perversion. You can be HD and vanilla, or LD and a kinkster. I am HD and a kinkster and I feel no shame.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Chris Taylor said:


> I'm not sure if I felt "perverted" by my high libido, but I initially felt bad about it.
> 
> But eventually I was able to understand that it is what it is and wasn't going to apologize to my wife for it.
> 
> The hard part was getting to a compromise with her where my needs were met.


I know how you must feel. I hooked up with a hot HD girl when I was 19, and still have her...
The more read in TAM the more I realise how lucky I am....My wife was off men when I met her. I courted her day and night for 2 months and she would not give in. The week before, after a long makeout session, she was actually in tears she was so horney, and still no dice....
After one particularly hot date the night before, I stopped off at her appartent, took her by the hand and just firmly led her into the bedroom....Dynamite....
I am lieing dynamite wouldn't begin to describe it...It was critical mass...We went off like an atomic bomb, and still do after 47 years. To say the least, "we didn't get out much".
Our honeymoon lasted 10 years, and I have enough mental movies to last a lifetime..... 
I often wondered how many couples hooked up like we did, It wasn't till I found TAM that I realised how rare it was.......:smthumbup:

good luck
the woodchuck


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

Woodchuck said:


> I know how you must feel. I hooked up with a hot HD girl when I was 19, and still have her...
> The more read in TAM the more I realise how lucky I am....


Heh. 

Pervert. :smthumbup:


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Although I was WAY higher drive over my husband for a spell (wanted it 3 times a day...I had to settle for once)... yeah, I was darn perverted...HD seemed like an understatement, I was even thinking I had a sex addiction....

I could identify with every young man I seen on the street, I just knew their mind was in the gutter... and mine was too... I never hid this from my husband, he found it terribly amusing... He was loving my new found passion... ...just wish it hit me earlier in life..

I just used my new found pervertedness to turn him on .....it was a great flurry of passion for us... I'd Joke I needed my FIX... if I caused a fight, he knew I just needed LAID. He was a real trooper during that Rush of surging hormones. 

If I had to supress all of that - I think I would have exploded in frustration. He was amazing.



Woodchuck said:


> I know how you must feel. I hooked up with a hot HD girl when I was 19, and still have her...
> The more read in TAM the more I realise how lucky I am....My wife was off men when I met her. I courted her day and night for 2 months and she would not give in.......
> 
> I often wondered how many couples hooked up like we did, It wasn't till I found TAM that I realised how rare it was.......:smthumbup:


I met my husband when I was 15 & he 18... We didn't have intercourse till we married (my personal boundary & beliefs) but we touched each other to orgasm for years......that kept the high tension "satisfied" -- while our emotional connection grew...and we still had something new for our Wedding night...

I wasn't going to have sex at 15 but I was terribly horny... no way we could have contained that... I seen no sense (even though I felt a little dirty about it ) to keep our hands off of each other -just to go off alone & masterbate. 

Not sure we have a similar story but It's always been " just me & he" - that was 31 yrs ago. 

47 yrs is a long time WOOD CHUCK ! I so hope our Libidos are still pumping after that many yrs 
(God willing)..... also love living in the age of


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## YupItsMe (Sep 29, 2011)

Im HD and have never thought of myself has a pervert and dont care if anyone else does either. Your definition of pervert is what?


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

YupItsMe said:


> Im HD and have never thought of myself has a pervert and dont care if anyone else does either. Your definition of pervert is what?


I think for many it is anyone get'in more than they do....


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## Anubis (Jul 12, 2011)

We're both HD, and aren't showing any signs of slowing down (beyond what aging is doing to me). 

Last I checked, my inner pervert said something about candy and went off with her inner pervert and were last seen by that old van parked out front.

Seriously though, if you're not harming anyone, why in the world should anyone be ashamed for being who and what they are?


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