# Is depression related with lack of sex drive?



## MadAndConfused (Nov 24, 2011)

Hi,

I am 30 years old, been married with my husband for 3.5 years and been together for total of 12 years. Since last summer I've been living in a sexless marriage. My husband does not want to go out and he gets annoyed when I try to touch him (innocent touch like holding his hand or hugging him). He is inerested though in his appearance, we go to the gym together and likes to dress up.
My questions are:

Is this depression or infidelity?
Is depression related with lack of sex? What are the other signs I should look for?

Thank you...


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## ku1980rose (Sep 7, 2010)

MadAndConfused said:


> Hi,
> 
> I am 30 years old, been married with my husband for 3.5 years and been together for total of 12 years. Since last summer I've been living in a sexless marriage. My husband does not want to go out and he gets annoyed when I try to touch him (innocent touch like holding his hand or hugging him). He is inerested though in his appearance, we go to the gym together and likes to dress up.
> My questions are:
> ...


I think depression is definitely related to lack of sex drive. If he does not feel happy with himself, then he's not going to think you want to be with him either. But, I would think if he was depressed, then he wouldn't be as interested in his appearance. Are there any other changes you've noticed? Have there been any big life changes that would cause him to feel depressed?


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

It's like the old joke. A man is talking to his friend and he mentions "My doctor's giving me Prozac and Viagra but the weird thing is that if either one works I don't need the other one."


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

How's the rest of the relationship? 

Any of these ring a bell?
fighting a lot
excessive porn use or masturbation
differing sex drives
you are mad at him a lot and turned him down for sex too many times
medical issues \ ED
sex is poor quality
affair in the past \ either partner
family issues, deaths, pregnancy loss
extreme financial stress

spends a lot of time away from home outside work
has passwords on phones, computers, bank accounts
unaccounted for spend


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## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

"spends a lot of time away from home outside work
has passwords on phones, computers, bank accounts
unaccounted for spend"

Add that he doesn't enjoy her touch and it sounds like an affair.


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## MadAndConfused (Nov 24, 2011)

deejov said:


> How's the rest of the relationship?
> 
> Any of these ring a bell?
> fighting a lot
> ...


Yes, we have been fighting a lot lately due to these problems, phone is locked, I am suspecting that he is up to online dating services/cybersex. 

It all started when I discussed with him about having our first baby and he insisted that he is not ready yet... I am so angry at him...


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## jayde (Jun 17, 2011)

MadAndConfused said:


> It all started when I discussed with him about having our first baby and he insisted that he is not ready yet... I am so angry at him...


So, you are 'so angry at him' and he's the problem?


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## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

Don't confront him until you have proof, and copies of the proof.


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## jayde (Jun 17, 2011)

HerToo said:


> "spends a lot of time away from home outside work
> has passwords on phones, computers, bank accounts
> unaccounted for spend"


NB: The OP didn't post this.


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## brat30 (Dec 7, 2011)

Hi there, is he on any anti-depressant or mood stablizers? I am and I went from 5 days a week to once a week it may be meds but depression can cause low sex drive it sucks but what can u do? Men are lucky though their viagra but NOTHING for women!!!


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## MadAndConfused (Nov 24, 2011)

brat30 said:


> Hi there, is he on any anti-depressant or mood stablizers? I am and I went from 5 days a week to once a week it may be meds but depression can cause low sex drive it sucks but what can u do? Men are lucky though their viagra but NOTHING for women!!!


No, he doesn't take any medication...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## brat30 (Dec 7, 2011)

Agreed Dean


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