# Wife texting other guys



## Need_advice123 (Nov 8, 2017)

My wife and i have been married for 3 years. I've got two kids from a prior marriage. Shes got one kid from a prior relationship. We have two kids together. She lost custody of her child shortly after we were married for a variety of reasons...probably too long to list. I've had joint custody of my kids and get them every other weekend. They're 16 and 13 years old. My wife hates them. She said they remind her of my ex....And because of them shes always reminded of my prior marriage an my ex. She says they are disrespectful, spoiled, etc. She also thinks my mom favors my older kids. She says since she has lost all custody of her son, I don't have to deal with her ex. Plus she wasn't married so her relationship was a lot more insignificant than mine. Her 13 year unmarried on and off relationship with baby daddy isn't the same as my 13 year marriage.

When my weekend comes around with my kids, she says they are a burden to our marriage. She says they cause her so much anxiety that she doesn't want them around our house anymore.

A few weeks back, when the kids were here, she got super drunk, went onto a hookup website and started giving her photos and phone number out to several guys. Thankfully I caught her after she emailed, texted and spoke to several of them...and she passed out before she hooked up with anyone. When i confronted her, she said she was drunk and no big deal. She said it is because my kids cause her so much stress and anxiety. She agreed it wouldn't happen again, however.

Two weeks later when my kids came again, she started a fight as soon as she got home from work. She was distant and agitated throughout the weekend. I went onto our cell phone bill and again caught her texting some other guy throughout the weekend. Again, she said it was not big deal because she didn't meet him....it wasn't actually cheating.

So questions....

Should I try to give up custody of my older kids to please her? Try to spend weekends with my older kids away from my home? Keep kids in my home and just deal with the texting other guys and possible cheating?

Is texting other guys for sex cheating if you don't actually have sex with them? Is her cheating my fault? She doesn't take much responsibility for it....other than my actions, my faults, etc led to her cheating. If it is cheating at all.

Crazy situation. Any thoughts are appreciated.


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## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

Need_advice123 said:


> *Should I try to give up custody of my older kids to please her?* Try to spend weekends with my older kids away from my home? Keep kids in my home and just deal with the texting other guys and possible cheating?
> 
> No.
> 
> ...


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## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

Keep an eye on that phone bill.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

To lose custody of your children when your a mom is hard to do!

She must have screwed up big time!

Now she wants you to give up time with your kids because shes mad she lost custody?

Trying to hook up on sites when your married at least twice .

How the rest of you marriage, do you have a sex life?


Sorry I would start a exit plan. She sounds unstable.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

You did not marry well.

See a lawyer to protect yourself.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

You glossed over the fact that your wife lost all custody of her child which is interesting. Putting that to one side you appear to be married to a drunk who wants to sleep with numerous other men. 
Like I said,interesting.


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## Need_advice123 (Nov 8, 2017)

Sex life is good when it's good. I've had some issues with ED on and off since before we got married. She knew about it before we were married and had kids. I got some Viagra I use from time to time....but not always needed. Sex lately has been a little lacking....especially over the last couple months. We've got differing work schedules...She often goes to sleep at 7 or 730 at night without me.

And honestly....since I caught her texting guys, I'm trying to forgive and move on. But without her taking responsibility for it, I'm afraid it'll just happen again. It's kind of an intimacy killer when your wife is exchanging sexy pics with a stranger on a hookup site....or texting guys again and again. I think it'll take a little time for me to trust her again. So....very lacking sex life lately.

With that said, I'm not looking to leave. I love her and want to stay married.

As far as why she doesn't have custody....She said the main reason was distance. We're about 400 miles away from her son's father. She has no contact or parental rights however. Ive learned a lot of accusations of cheating, partying, drinking, etc were also an issue with her ex....just kind of reckless behavior. Plus I also learned police were called once when her kid was young.....She was drunk and left him alone in the house while she went to the liquor store for an alcohol run. So....several reasons for the lack of custody.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Dude this woman must have a gold vagina for you to stay with her. She is an alcoholic with no boundaries concerning sex with other men. Throw her out and let some other poor sap have her. Save your relationship with your children,they will be around after she cheats on you. (again)


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## Need_advice123 (Nov 8, 2017)

She says she is cool and exciting. I should have got with someone boring if I wanted that. She wants to be a cool mom. She said she can't do boring. Drinking, messing around with other men, swinging, drugs, partying, etc. are no reflection on her as a wife or mom according to her.

I didn't mention, she was escorting and worked in a strip club for a time when we were dating. Behind my back, of course. She didn't want me to know about it....came out after we were married. She said she did it because she needed the money, but she is in a better spot financially now.


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## Need_advice123 (Nov 8, 2017)

No bridge. Honestly just want some other opinions. Believe me....It's a crazy situation. She tries to get my brain all twisted up like I'm a bad guy. I'm the cause of all her problems, etc. Im a bad dad, a bad husband, etc. Just need to know that I'm not crazy and this stuff shes expecting me to do is totally dysfunctional.

Shes trying to convince me it's all totally reasonable. I'm just crazy and expecting too much from her.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Need_advice123 said:


> No bridge. Honestly just want some other opinions. Believe me....It's a crazy situation. She tries to get my brain all twisted up like I'm a bad guy. I'm the cause of all her problems, etc. Im a bad dad, a bad husband, etc. Just need to know that I'm not crazy and this stuff shes expecting me to do is totally dysfunctional.
> 
> 
> Shes trying to convince me it's all totally reasonable. I'm just crazy and expecting too much from her.


If you are telling the truth then here are some things for you to consider. 
Your wife is a prostitute,she is doing what prostitutes do,meeting strangers who pay her for sex. 
Is this the person you want around your children especially your daughter. 
Get a ****ing life dude.


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

Obvious alcohol issues..... poor parenting..... immoral sexual activities... SMFH

Hmmm.... hates your kids but knew this when she signed up. Dude... do you like drama?

Oh... the hook-up sites ... good way for her to get herself hurt and get a nice dose of STD

and bring it home to you. 

I can't think of one reason for you to stay.....


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Chuck71 said:


> Obvious alcohol issues..... poor parenting..... immoral sexual activities... SMFH
> 
> Hmmm.... hates your kids but knew this when she signed up. Dude... do you like drama?
> 
> ...


She’s probably good in the sack, practice makes perfect.


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

Andy1001 said:


> She’s probably good in the sack, practice makes perfect.


Most BSC ones are.... they have to.... to hide the mountain of red flags


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## Rhubarb (Dec 1, 2017)

Need_advice123 said:


> Should I try to give up custody of my older kids to please her?


If you have to ask this then yes.


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## eric1 (Apr 10, 2015)

Need_advice123 said:


> She says she is cool and exciting. I should have got with someone boring if I wanted that. She wants to be a cool mom. She said she can't do boring. Drinking, messing around with other men, swinging, drugs, partying, etc. are no reflection on her as a wife or mom according to her.
> 
> I didn't mention, she was escorting and worked in a strip club for a time when we were dating. Behind my back, of course. She didn't want me to know about it....came out after we were married. She said she did it because she needed the money, but she is in a better spot financially now.




Dude


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

Need_advice123 said:


> She says she is cool and exciting. I should have got with someone boring if I wanted that. She wants to be a cool mom. She said she can't do boring. Drinking, messing around with other men, swinging, drugs, partying, etc. are no reflection on her as a wife or mom according to her.
> 
> I didn't mention, she was escorting and worked in a strip club for a time when we were dating. Behind my back, of course. She didn't want me to know about it....came out after we were married. She said she did it because she needed the money, but she is in a better spot financially now.


And you allow your kids around this human?

And willing to give up your kids for this human....

This is one thread.... I hope is someone trolling....


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## FalCod (Dec 6, 2017)

Ugh. You are married to someone that gave up custody of her child. She gets drunks and tries to hook up with other men. You are considering giving up custody of your children. You people are beyond my comprehension. I don't see any hope for you or her. My advice would be to leave her. Focus on raising yourself and your children to someday be adults.


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## Need_advice123 (Nov 8, 2017)

Give me all your input. I'll probably share this post with her. I'm just getting tired of all the drama with my kids, her unfaithfulness, etc.

She says it's all my fault. My kids fault, my mom's fault, my ex's fault, etc. I'm seriously not naive....masters degree, normal guy. Never cheated on the wife, don't flirt with other women....completely faithful.

I just learned she talks bad about me to her coworkers. Who knows what she says to the guys shes been talking to?

I'm not crazy....Just need to hear from other people to validate stuff. I don't want to ruin my relationship with my older kids, my family, etc. Nor do I want a cheating wife. Shes trying to make me choose between her and my older kids tho. It's a f**ked up situation that I just can't win. And if I have them here....if I know she doesn't like them, how can I blame her for cheating? Crazy...

On top of that, whenever we fight, she tells me she didn't really want to marry me and she doesn't know why she did. I don't think she means it, but its tough to hear. She said she always pictured herself being married 3 times. I'm her first.....seems really mean to say to her husband.


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## Mizzbak (Sep 10, 2016)

Need

So, in a nutshell - she's a former escort/stripper who has:
- repeatedly lied to you in multiple ways (about who/what she was, her intention to be faithful to you etc.), 
- drinks to the point where she lost legal custody of her own child (and makes no effort to keep a relationship going with that child) 
- drinks to the point where she would commit adultery if she were physically able; and blames it on your teenage children making her feel uncomfortable
and she wants you to abandon your own children because they remind her that you were previously married.

How did your first marriage end? Was this woman involved in any way? What kind of mother is she to your younger children?

It is perfectly obvious to a bunch of strangers on the internet that you should walk away from this woman as quickly as you possibly can. I guess I'm just wondering what on earth her hold on you is?


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

Need_advice123 said:


> Give me all your input. I'll probably share this post with her. I'm just getting tired of all the drama with my kids, her unfaithfulness, etc.
> 
> She says it's all my fault. My kids fault, my mom's fault, my ex's fault, etc. I'm seriously not naive....masters degree, normal guy. Never cheated on the wife, don't flirt with other women....completely faithful.
> 
> ...



I don't normally offer this type of help, but here it is. It is nobody's fault but hers. Your kids are your kids. She doesn't have to be your wife. 

She's disrespecting you in many ways. 

Nothing to save here. 

Get rid of her.


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## mary35 (Jul 18, 2010)

You want input? Get some counseling - for you. You must have no self esteem to be with a woman like this. Your kids come first. They didn't pick you as their father and the definitely didn't pick her for a step-witch. (I can't use the word mother). This woman is toxic - to you and to your kids. There is no love for anyone in the behavior you describe. Let the other guys have her, Get counseling - you need it immediately. Anyone who would even consider the options you laid out concerning your kids, but won't even consider divorcing someone who hates their kids and is making life a living hell every time they visit - is broken. Get out of this toxic marriage - more importantly, Get your kids out of this toxic marriage. Would you want them to be married to someone like this? Get healthy, and become the kind of dad your kids need and deserve.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Need_advice123 said:


> My wife and i have been married for 3 years. I've got two kids from a prior marriage. Shes got one kid from a prior relationship. We have two kids together. She lost custody of her child shortly after we were married for a variety of reasons...probably too long to list. I've had joint custody of my kids and get them every other weekend. They're 16 and 13 years old. My wife hates them. She said they remind her of my ex....And because of them shes always reminded of my prior marriage an my ex. She says they are disrespectful, spoiled, etc. She also thinks my mom favors my older kids. She says since she has lost all custody of her son, I don't have to deal with her ex. Plus she wasn't married so her relationship was a lot more insignificant than mine. Her 13 year unmarried on and off relationship with baby daddy isn't the same as my 13 year marriage.
> 
> When my weekend comes around with my kids, she says they are a burden to our marriage. She says they cause her so much anxiety that she doesn't want them around our house anymore.
> 
> ...


Should you relinquish custody of your older children in order to appease your cheating wife?

Are you ****ing serious?

Turns out her ex made the right decision in not marrying her. Maybe reflect on that a bit.

I’d recommend a good divorce attorney.

Oh, and a couple of DNA-based paternity tests.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Need_advice123 said:


> Give me all your input. I'll probably share this post with her. I'm just getting tired of all the drama with my kids, her unfaithfulness, etc.
> 
> She says it's all my fault. My kids fault, my mom's fault, my ex's fault, etc. I'm seriously not naive....masters degree, normal guy. Never cheated on the wife, don't flirt with other women....completely faithful.
> 
> ...


Nothing to salvage here, pull the plug.

And no, her cheating isn’t your fault.

That’s not the way being an adult works.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Need_advice123 said:


> Sex life is good when it's good. I've had some issues with ED on and off since before we got married. She knew about it before we were married and had kids. I got some Viagra I use from time to time....but not always needed. Sex lately has been a little lacking....especially over the last couple months. We've got differing work schedules...She often goes to sleep at 7 or 730 at night without me.
> 
> *And honestly....since I caught her texting guys, I'm trying to forgive and move on. But without her taking responsibility for it, I'm afraid it'll just happen again*. It's kind of an intimacy killer when your wife is exchanging sexy pics with a stranger on a hookup site....or texting guys again and again. I think it'll take a little time for me to trust her again. So....very lacking sex life lately.
> IT WILL. It will continue if she gets no consequences to it (and it doesn't look like you want to give her those -- you need to clearly state your boundary on this, and tell he next time, she's OUT. Two times is too many.
> ...


She sounds like she has a serious drinking problem -- and if not addresses your life and the lives of your kids is just going to get worse. She may NOT have been able to hook up with these text guys YET (but how do you know she hasn't in the past???)

{EDT} Ok, just read that she was an escort while dating you? She thinks ****ing around is "cool"? She clearly has NO respect for you or your marriage. She wants you to get rid of your KIDS?? YOU need to get rid of HER. If she hasn't yet, she will cheat on you (physically). What she's done already IS cheating, and NO it is not YOUR fault, your KIDS fault or anyone else. It is HER fault.


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## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

She must be smoking hot, and the ***** must be good!

You know you're *not* supposed to marry those chicks, right? You're only supposed to FWB at the most! Never let them near your house! Or your kids!


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Need_advice123 said:


> She says she is cool and exciting.


That’s cheaterspeak for “whorish” and “probably not disease-free”.



Need_advice123 said:


> I should have got with someone boring if I wanted that. She wants to be a cool mom. She said she can't do boring. *Drinking, messing around with other men, swinging, drugs, partying, etc. are no reflection on her as a wife or mom according to her.*


Wrong.



Need_advice123 said:


> I didn't mention, she was escorting and worked in a strip club for a time when we were dating. Behind my back, of course. She didn't want me to know about it....came out after we were married. She said she did it because she needed the money, but she is in a better spot financially now.


LOL. Turns out you married the town bike.


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## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

haha
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/400586-wife-wants-swing.html

are you for real, dude?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Need_advice123 said:


> With that said, I'm not looking to leave. I love her and want to stay married.


It’s like you’re determined to bake a cake, even though you’ve got NONE of the ingredients.

Even worse, the only person that can provide the ingredients refuses to do so.

Wake up.


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## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

Need_advice123 said:


> Give me all your input. I'll probably share this post with her. I'm just getting tired of all the drama with my kids, her unfaithfulness, etc.
> 
> She says it's all my fault. My kids fault, my mom's fault, my ex's fault, etc. I'm seriously not naive....masters degree, normal guy. Never cheated on the wife, don't flirt with other women....completely faithful.
> 
> ...


First of all, do not share this with her. Start working on the putting your case together ASAP, gathering proof. See a lawyer. There is NO hope here. I hate to say this but Good Lord, this is a complete mess. Read my thread on here and you will see how bad I was. I am not one to advise divorce quickly or lightly but again GOOD LORD, this is one of the easiest open and shut cases in the history of the world when it comes to should you divorce or not. 

I know it hurts to hear, a lot of your hesitancy may be based on being codependent it can't be because you love this life that's in total disarray. Many here thought I was codependent and to some extent I was/am but for me it was a lot more being in love with the idea of the perfect family with two (original) parents there for my kids. As soon as people find out we are getting a divorced, each one of them have the same reaction of wow, you guys were the perfect family, so happy ... and are left in shock. I was in love with that premise and was willing to overlook the faults that got bigger and bigger with my soon to be Ex. But again, in this case, please don't consider doing anything to appease this woman, believe what she is telling you. I know you don't want to believe it because it hurts the esteem and the pride but you won't have any pride left if you continue on in this. No kids should be around this woman in this state.

- your wife is not a good person, let alone wife
- she has no boundaries and just because she didn't physically cheat this time that you know of, there's nothing holding her back other than her getting too drunk to make the trip .... wow. With no self control or regard for you or the family, it's likely she has cheated physically and often before, just given the story you gave us
- again, start getting your ducks in a row, PLEASE tell your most trusted family and friends what is going on, not to shame anyone and you may be ashamed to tell them yourself but YOU NEED a support system in place to punch you in the face if you even consider giving in to this woman. You need people that will be thinking about what's best for you and your family since you don't have that vision yourself, right now.

Do not show her this, get a counselor, talk to a lawyer. Even if you don't care much for yourself. You are a father and you have the responsibility to take them out of this toxic environment! 

Don't mean to be hard on you but we are trying to help!


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## pragmaticGoddess (Nov 29, 2017)

Need_advice123 said:


> She says she is cool and exciting. I should have got with someone boring if I wanted that. She wants to be a cool mom. She said she can't do boring. Drinking, messing around with other men, swinging, drugs, partying, etc. are no reflection on her as a wife or mom according to her.
> 
> I didn't mention, she was escorting and worked in a strip club for a time when we were dating. Behind my back, of course. She didn't want me to know about it....came out after we were married. She said she did it because she needed the money, but she is in a better spot financially now.


Wow this is totally crazy. So to be a cool mum you have to mess around with other men and get drunk. Well you’re her husband so is she cool for doing all that? At first I thought your wife was upset with step parenting and that’s why she’s acting out but after reading further I think she has deeper emotional issues that she needs to deal with before she can be a good wife. 

She depends on men wanting her to know she’s worth something. She uses alcohol to escape. She needs professional help. Unfortunately you cannot love her into changing.


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## Suspicious1 (Nov 19, 2017)

Need_advice123 said:


> She tries to get my BRAIN ALL TWISTED UP like I'm a bad guy.



GET OUT!

read no more Mr Nice Guy.

I'm reading it right now, learing a whole lot, initially I thought I was a nice guy, but after hearing the full on description what they're referring I'm a selfish pr!ck, and far from a dormat. Yet you my friend sound like a direct result of one of the Nice Guys they talk about in the book.

Now I cringe when I hear the word Nice Guy, you should too.



Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk


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## C3156 (Jun 13, 2012)

Not sure what else to say.

The fact that you can't apparently see that what your "wife" is doing is totally wrong is beyond me. For a woman to lose custody of her children she had to do something pretty bad or she just doesn't care about her kids. Either way, it speaks volumes to her character.

You cannot fix her only yourself. If you love your kids, you will get them away from this relationship. Unless of course, you want your kids to turn out like her.


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## dreamer2017 (Nov 7, 2017)

Dear Need Advice,

I agree with Mary 35; you do need counseling to restore your self-esteem. You need to contact your attorney to acquire some legal advice and direction. She has shown you her true nature, and maybe it’s time to move forward to protect your children and place them in a safe environment.

Best,
Dreamer


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## FieryHairedLady (Mar 24, 2011)

This woman needs a good swift kick in the AZZ!!

You have two kids with her?

Not good!


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## Steve2.0 (Dec 11, 2017)

She must be the best looking women in the world to put up with all that.
As i read your post my head was thinking "Thats unacceptable, Thats nasty, Thats stupid, thats unacceptable"

Why are you with this girl? Your actually considering GETTING RID OF YOUR CHILDREN to be with this wayward rotten person?

Have you read "no more mr. nice guy"?


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## Primrose (Mar 4, 2015)

You married a skank who didn't want her own child.. yet you're surprised she now wants you to jump on the deadbeat bandwagon? Normally I'd say "RUN, FOREST", but the fact that you sit here considering giving up your own children for this broad makes me think there's not much hope for you, either.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Need_advice123 said:


> She says she is cool and exciting. I should have got with someone boring if I wanted that. She wants to be a cool mom.* She said she can't do boring. Drinking, messing around with other men, swinging, drugs, partying, etc. are no reflection on her as a wife or mom according to her.
> *
> I didn't mention, she was escorting and worked in a strip club for a time when we were dating. Behind my back, of course. She didn't want me to know about it....came out after we were married. She said she did it because she needed the money, but she is in a better spot financially now.


Are you serious? 

She actually said this to your face? Ohhhhhhh brother. 

You need to divorce this woman...yesterday...before she drags you into hell.


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## Roselyn (Sep 19, 2010)

Need_advice123 said:


> Give me all your input. I'll probably share this post with her. I'm just getting tired of all the drama with my kids, her unfaithfulness, etc.
> 
> On top of that, whenever we fight, she tells me she didn't really want to marry me and she doesn't know why she did. I don't think she means it, but its tough to hear. She said she always pictured herself being married 3 times. I'm her first.....seems really mean to say to her husband.


OP, see an attorney and divorce this piece of work. She lost custody of her child for one reason of neglect. You don't want to lose yours. She married you as her Plan B. Listen to what she says.

She is no prize! A prostitute on top of that & deceived you by not disclosing this lifestyle before you married her. Where & how did you meet her? How old are the both of you?


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## Need_advice123 (Nov 8, 2017)

So....update. I showed my post to my wife. She said I wasn't truthful. Our sex life sucks. I check out other women all the time. I have to masturbate and think of other women in order to have sex with her. It isn't ED. I said she was ugly and I don't like her body when we were dating. That's why she has self esteem issues which caused her to stray, have issues, etc.

I tell her I didn't think she was ugly and I never told her this. In her mind, I said something 5 years ago, however, which is giving her these issues. I tell her I wouldn't have married her and had two kids with her if I thought she was ugly and didn't like her body. Not good enough for her....I think she's ugly....I can't argue otherwise. Shes not having it.

I'm the most straight laced dude around. Never flirt with other women. Anytime I look in the direction of another women at the mall, when walking down the street, wherever....She accuses me of checking them out. It shocks me sometime because I'm so straight laced about that stuff and never....I MEAN NEVER!!!! flirt, talk, text, hug, anything with any other women. I don't fantasize about anyone else, don't look at porn, don't party with my friends, etc.

My mom loves my older kids more than our kids together. Shes blatant about it and a *****. That's why my kids aren't welcome in the house...along with the other stuff.

My wife lost custody of her child because she refused to talk sh*t about her ex, while he talked sh*t about her like crazy. She should have got a lawyer. It didn't have anything to do with her lifestyle....even though he brought it up. It's because she didn't talk enough sh*t about her ex.

Just because she likes to party, drink, smoke weed, hang out with her friends, etc isn't a bad thing. There's nothing illegal with it.

If her self esteem wasn't so low from all my checking out other women, my ED, and my comments about how ugly she is, she wouldn't have to look elsewhere. It's my fault the kids can't be at the house because of my mom. Its my issues that caused her to look for other men.


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## Tasorundo (Apr 1, 2012)

Your wife lost custody, because she is an awful person that didn't care enough about her child to keep it.

Look at her life, look at her choices, look at her treatment of you. She is a garbage human that is using you.


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## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

Need_advice123 said:


> So....update. I showed my post to my wife. She said I wasn't truthful. Our sex life sucks. I check out other women all the time. I have to masturbate and think of other women in order to have sex with her. It isn't ED. I said she was ugly and I don't like her body when we were dating. That's why she has self esteem issues which caused her to stray, have issues, etc.
> 
> I tell her I didn't think she was ugly and I never told her this. In her mind, I said something 5 years ago, however, which is giving her these issues. I tell her I wouldn't have married her and had two kids with her if I thought she was ugly and didn't like her body. Not good enough for her....I think she's ugly....I can't argue otherwise. Shes not having it.
> 
> ...


STOP! Do not try to reason with her or show her any more. I know why you wanted to show her, to prove to her and yourself that you aren't crazy and that she is wrong. She is wrong but SHE will never understand that, logic and reasoning with someone this toxic are not there. Stop trying to talk to her, you are just going to make it worse on yourself. You may think that telling her bad things people are saying about her will wake her up and all of a sudden make her want to change but NO, just no. 

Stop talking to her about things that do not involve kids, food and living arrangements. I wish you wouldn't have shown her this but it is what is. Please talk trusted family and friends ASAP. Then have them be your gutter guards at the bowling alley to make sure you don't get off the path. If you cannot pull yourself together and see this for it is, you are going to be to blame but for putting your kids in an unhealthy environment.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Need_advice123 said:


> So....update. I showed my post to my wife. She said I wasn't truthful. Our sex life sucks. I check out other women all the time. I have to masturbate and think of other women in order to have sex with her. It isn't ED. I said she was ugly and I don't like her body when we were dating. That's why she has self esteem issues which caused her to stray, have issues, etc.
> 
> I tell her I didn't think she was ugly and I never told her this. In her mind, I said something 5 years ago, however, which is giving her these issues. I tell her I wouldn't have married her and had two kids with her if I thought she was ugly and didn't like her body. Not good enough for her....I think she's ugly....I can't argue otherwise. Shes not having it.
> 
> ...


LOL... she lost custody of her kid because her ex told the truth about her behavior?

:lol: :rofl: 

You poor, poor fool.

ETA: Have you considered that your mother favors your older children because she’s not convinced that your younger children actually _are_ your children?


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

Oops, wrong thread... Ignore this.


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## Suspicious1 (Nov 19, 2017)

Need_advice123 said:


> So....update. I showed my post to my wife. She said I wasn't truthful. Our sex life sucks. I check out other women all the time. I have to masturbate and think of other women in order to have sex with her. It isn't ED. I said she was ugly and I don't like her body when we were dating. That's why she has self esteem issues which caused her to stray, have issues, etc.
> 
> I tell her I didn't think she was ugly and I never told her this. In her mind, I said something 5 years ago, however, which is giving her these issues. I tell her I wouldn't have married her and had two kids with her if I thought she was ugly and didn't like her body. Not good enough for her....I think she's ugly....I can't argue otherwise. Shes not having it.
> 
> ...


Were you there at custody trial for kids with the ex, or this heresy?

Every time I see your post name for s second I read Needy for some reason. 
Not sure why I make that correlation, either way you're 50 years old all this HS sh!t should be in the past you should be enjoying life with you're kids not dealing with all this madness.


I swear if I was a Hollywood writer for some racey HBO type drama l would to come here or any similar forum and toss unbelievable scenario such as the above and see what I get from the ball bouncing! It would be the easiest job ever.






Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk


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## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

And I don't mean to poke fun or anything but the title of this thread vs what's inside it is a whole different animal. Before I read this post I thought I was going to get some marginal story about how a wife was getting too close for comfort with a co-worker, etc but what was inside was Pandora's Box x 1,000


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## Need_advice123 (Nov 8, 2017)

Not to keep piling things on....she's got a lot of good qualities. There's a reason why I married her. I love her a lot, she makes me feel special when things are going good. It seems we're going down a slippery slope tho when shes blaming me for her infidelity, her low self esteem...And it seems like shes treading back down the path of partying, being unfaithful even more, etc.

I looked at our bank account two weeks ago. It was drained down below $100 I think. Luckily we had some money in savings I could transfer over. Earlier in the month she transferred $3000 from savings so she could spend $2500 on cosmetic surgery. She spent $750 at Victoria's Secret, another $750 expenditure, and another couple thousand dollars on miscellaneous stuff. I saw this and mentioned it to her....She got very defensive and said I shouldn't question her spending. Not to interrogate her and she can spend whenever and however she wants. She actually makes $200 gross more than me and maybe 500 net after taxes, etc more than me because I'm trying to make up for too small withholdings last year. Plus I pay $535 per month child support. She only pays $260. Therefore she doesn't have to consult me on any large purchases. We make decent money, but we're not rich.

Am I being unreasonable for asking to be consulted on large purchases? Am I out of bounds on this because she makes more money than me?


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## Need_advice123 (Nov 8, 2017)

And just fyi....Not making anything up. All true....


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## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

Need_advice123 said:


> Not to keep piling things on....she's got a lot of good qualities. There's a reason why I married her. I love her a lot, she makes me feel special when things are going good. It seems we're going down a slippery slope tho when shes blaming me for her infidelity, her low self esteem...And it seems like shes treading back down the path of partying, being unfaithful even more, etc.
> 
> I looked at our bank account two weeks ago. It was drained down below $100 I think. Luckily we had some money in savings I could transfer over. Earlier in the month she transferred $3000 from savings so she could spend $2500 on cosmetic surgery. She spent $750 at Victoria's Secret, another $750 expenditure, and another couple thousand dollars on miscellaneous stuff. I saw this and mentioned it to her....She got very defensive and said I shouldn't question her spending. Not to interrogate her and she can spend whenever and however she wants. She actually makes $200 gross more than me and maybe 500 net after taxes, etc more than me because I'm trying to make up for too small withholdings last year. Plus I pay $535 per month child support. She only pays $260. Therefore she doesn't have to consult me on any large purchases. We make decent money, but we're not rich.
> 
> Am I being unreasonable for asking to be consulted on large purchases? Am I out of bounds on this because she makes more money than me?


So, maybe this will help put it into perspective a bit. There's a crap ton of baggage here, even WAAAY before the current issues that make this a marriage/relationship that is doomed ... unless you want yourself and kids to live in Hell for years to come.

Back to my point. Let's say you guys had the perfect marriage, you were happy for 10+ years, no prior baggage, etc. Then an affair or revelation happens. Even the people in those relationships, the wayward is forever changed. It doesn't matter how she has been or what you had hoped, everything in the dynamic is changed. It's going to be hard for people on the outside to believe you would want her back just from the prior stuff alone but when you throw the recent events on top of this, this is pretty cut and dry.

What I'm trying to say is that even if she was your soulmate before this, what has happened in recent times, means .... this is what you are looking at for the rest of the time you choose to be with her. She's got more issues than we can count on our fingers and toes. I'd like to think that most waywards will get it after they hit rock bottom, even if years down the road but your current wife has so many different rock bottoms she would need to hit, I'm not even sure who survives when that happens. 

Stop talking to her, see a lawyer, protect your kids. That is your duty as a father.


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## OutofRetirement (Nov 27, 2017)

When you ask if you are reasonable or out of bounds when obviously your wife went off the rails, I must question your judgment. Then you take your post to show her to say, see I am right and you are wrong. Even these anons on a wacko cheating website agrees with me.

You have to start standing up for yourself. 

Like drinking, weed, and partying, her cheating and texting other men and even having sex with them is completely legal. She is allowed to do these legal things. You have legal things you can do. Letting anons here to fight your battle is one of them, but probably not very effective.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Need_advice123 said:


> And just fyi....Not making anything up. All true....


Dude please listen to this piece of advice even if you don’t listen to anyone else’s.
DONT STICK YOUR **** IN CRAZY.
And dna your kids!


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## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

TX-SC said:


> A person who has been assaulted does not respond as she has. "How dare you accuse me of giving you an STD!" Who says that to a rapist? Who has personal conversations with a rapist about his pregnant wife?


Hey you posted this in the wrong thread. I think you're looking for this thread:
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/410993-maybe-unique-situation-please-help.html


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

toblerone said:


> Hey you posted this in the wrong thread. I think you're looking for this thread:
> http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/410993-maybe-unique-situation-please-help.html


Yep, wrong thread. Thanks for the heads-up!

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk


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## Need_advice123 (Nov 8, 2017)

Agreed with the Pandoras box stuff. And the stuff of movies. Another thing....when we were dating, I later found out she was texting and talking to baby daddy throughout. Seven months into the relationship she went out of town to spend the holidays with her family. She came back and a few days later said she got engaged to some random person I didn't know about. I was devastated, but we talked through it and she eventually called it off. Turns out it was her baby's father. She was texting him the whole time...lying to him about me. Then she was seeing me....lying to him about me. Again found this out way after the fact....Who she was engaged to anyway.

She said she was confused and pressured into being with him because she had a child with him...by him and her family.

Fast forward 4 years or so....we have two beautiful kids...I mean, BEAUTIFUL!, married for 3 years. She told me it's all different now that she's married.

Another tidbit. She mentioned she thought she had borderline personality disorder several times. I had no idea what that was, until the past year or two when I finally looked it up. She went to a psych a few weeks ago and he diagnosed her with bipolar disorder. He prescribed her meds, which she said weren't working....So she obviously doesn't have bipolar. She stopped the meds and said she is done with psych meds. They make her fat and it's not worth it....Plus they weren't even working.

Shes scheduled for lipo on her face and stomach....And a Brazillian butt lift in a couple months. She wants to get a boob job next year. She says that will help with her self esteem issues.

I know soap opera stuff.....welcome to my life. Complete chaos at times.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

You need to divorce your wife. Immediately.


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## Need_advice123 (Nov 8, 2017)

Believe me...I'm not stupid. I can see the stuff you guys are saying. I kind of know it too.....Just complete craziness no couple should go through.

That being said, I love her, love our kids, I made a commitment for better or worse. I want things to get better. I just don't know how to go about it...

She won't go to counseling. She doesn't have any problems or issues. Thereapists cant help anyone anyway. It's my f'd up mom, my kids, my ED, etc that are the problems. She doesn't have any issues at all. And the cheating is my fault, her low self esteem is my fault....She hasn't directly said it, but I even think she blames her lack of custody of her son on me to some degree.


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## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

things aren't going to get better dude

you're just going to find (and probably ignore) more reasons why you should have never married her in the first place

you can love her all you want, that doesn't have a damn thing to do with whether she deserves it or not


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

I blame you for finding someone who is so self centered that they are willing to loss custody then to fight for keeping their own child...you shoudl have seen all the red flags and just moved on...you married her not your kids, they should not suffer because she is a first class *****....the only thing that matters to her is self entrainment and if your not there she is willing to find it else where...she is a train wreck just waiting to happen. I promise you this, when you divorce her, she will release custody of your kids with her, because they will interfere with her fun...that is all she wants...and your a the guy sticking dollars in her pants...i hope she does see his and tell us all how she can justify being married and being on a dating site, sharing nudes and sexting with other men while saying that is not cheating...she is a piece of work...cut your losses and get rid of her.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Need_advice123, here is some advice. 

You can't turn a ho into a homemaker. She is never, ever going to be the woman you want or need. She's gross, and selfish, and has zero (0) personal boundaries. And the sex is lousy? Why on earth would you want to be with her?


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

Need_advice123 said:


> Give me all your input. I'll probably share this post with her. I'm just getting tired of all the drama with my kids, her unfaithfulness, etc.
> 
> She says it's all my fault. My kids fault, my mom's fault, my ex's fault, etc. I'm seriously not naive....masters degree, normal guy. Never cheated on the wife, don't flirt with other women....completely faithful.
> 
> ...


You married the XXXXX from Babylon... live with it or leave her..... YOUR choice


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## Tron (Jan 31, 2013)

Need_advice123 said:


> My wife and i have been married for 3 years. I've got two kids from a prior marriage. Shes got one kid from a prior relationship. We have two kids together. She lost custody of her child shortly after we were married for a variety of reasons...probably too long to list. I've had joint custody of my kids and get them every other weekend. They're 16 and 13 years old. My wife hates them. She said they remind her of my ex....And because of them shes always reminded of my prior marriage an my ex. She says they are disrespectful, spoiled, etc. She also thinks my mom favors my older kids. She says since she has lost all custody of her son, I don't have to deal with her ex. Plus she wasn't married so her relationship was a lot more insignificant than mine. Her 13 year unmarried on and off relationship with baby daddy isn't the same as my 13 year marriage.
> 
> When my weekend comes around with my kids, she says they are a burden to our marriage. She says they cause her so much anxiety that she doesn't want them around our house anymore.
> 
> ...


Are you CRAZY???

There must have been some indication prior to marrying this nutcase that she was not a good W, not a good mother and wasn't going to be a good stepmom. The fact she lost custody of her previous kids should have been a red flag for you.

With that said, the bottom line is you are the protector of your kids; all of them. Lose the abusive W, get custody of all your kids and keep them away from your abusive STBXW as much as you reasonably can, because, if you don't she is going to F them up bigtime.


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## Suspicious1 (Nov 19, 2017)

Andy1001 said:


> Dude please listen to this piece of advice even if you don’t listen to anyone else’s.
> DONT STICK YOUR **** IN CRAZY.
> And dna your kids!


This,

I would get on what ever means to check if these kids are actually yours. Speak to a lawyer and don't say a word to your wife.

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

And another thing. The fact that you might even consider giving up custody of your older kids to appease this skank speaks volumes about your character. Shame on you.

The only victims in this whole bull**** scenario are your kids. It'll be a miracle if they come out intact. I feel so sorry for those kids.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

Need_advice123 said:


> I know soap opera stuff.....welcome to my life. Complete chaos at times.


 You are obviously willing to put up with it. It ends when you end it.

I find it hard to believe ANYONE can be this co-dependent and blind.
You have listed dozens of red flags, and then make feeble half-assed excuses for them. Are you here looking for validation, because you won't get it.(maybe try divorce busters, they seem to thrive on misery over there). What you will get is more and more advice to divorce this BSC trainwreck of a wife you have.


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## MovingForward (Jan 19, 2017)

Need_advice123 said:


> My wife and i have been married for 3 years. I've got two kids from a prior marriage. Shes got one kid from a prior relationship. We have two kids together. She lost custody of her child shortly after we were married for a variety of reasons...probably too long to list. I've had joint custody of my kids and get them every other weekend. They're 16 and 13 years old. My wife hates them. She said they remind her of my ex....And because of them shes always reminded of my prior marriage an my ex. She says they are disrespectful, spoiled, etc. She also thinks my mom favors my older kids. She says since she has lost all custody of her son, I don't have to deal with her ex. Plus she wasn't married so her relationship was a lot more insignificant than mine. Her 13 year unmarried on and off relationship with baby daddy isn't the same as my 13 year marriage.
> 
> When my weekend comes around with my kids, she says they are a burden to our marriage. She says they cause her so much anxiety that she doesn't want them around our house anymore.
> 
> ...


No word here other than get rid of your wife!!!


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## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

lucy999 said:


> And another thing. The fact that you might even consider giving up custody of your older kids to appease this skank speaks volumes about your character. Shame on you.
> 
> The only victims in this whole bull**** scenario are your kids. It'll be a miracle if they come out intact. I feel so sorry for those kids.


i'm willing to give a mulligan on this one for state of mind but other than that, yes this is not a great frame of mind for any father ... not even close.

However, not too late to right your wrong sir. You can't help her, you just can't but you can help yourself and you can help your kids. Maybe, eventually she will face her demons head on and fix herself or get the help she needs but it's NEVER going to happen during this marriage.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Need_advice123 said:


> So....update. I showed my post to my wife. She said I wasn't truthful. ...
> It's my fault the kids can't be at the house because of my mom. Its my issues that caused her to look for other men.


Ok WOW what a try to misdirect and self-justification for absolutely AWFUL actions. All of her woes are caused by either YOU, or others, and NOT her.
I'm sure a lot of what she said, she may actually believe, but I would also bet that very little of it is (and you know this). SHE accuses you of looking because either a) SHE does, or b) she has abandonment issues. I think so of her responses sound a bit like BPD (no I am not an expert there...).


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Pull your head out of your ass and wipe the **** out of your eyes!

This lying ,cheating,back stabbing bieotch is taking you for a ride !

Everything is someone eles fault! 

The longer you stay with this skank the worse off you will be!

There nothing more to say. Everyone here has given you the same advice!

Good luck


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Good grief...it's been a ho rodeo on TAM the last couple of weeks. So many guys getting burned by skanks.


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

Need_advice123 said:


> Drinking, messing around with other men, swinging, drugs, partying, etc. are no reflection on her as a wife or mom according to her.
> 
> I didn't mention, she was escorting and worked in a strip club for a time when we were dating. Behind my back, of course.


 OK so she says that "Drinking, messing around with other men, swinging, drugs, partying, etc. are no reflection on her as a wife or mom", and she also "was escorting and worked in a strip club for a time" when you were dating. I think we can guess why she lost all parental rights.


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## Rick Blaine (Mar 27, 2017)

@lucy999 beat me to it. When you asked if you should give up custody of your kids to please your wife you lost any credibility with me. A good father would never consider that. And every child needs a good father. What are you thinking?


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## Rick Blaine (Mar 27, 2017)

bandit.45 said:


> Good grief...it's been a ho rodeo on TAM the last couple of weeks. So many guys getting burned by skanks.


This is evidence of a culture in decline.


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## Need_advice123 (Nov 8, 2017)

I'm not going to give up custody of my kids. She'd like me too, but I'm not that stupid. Just figured I'd throw the ridiculous out there. Exactly what she wants me to do. Everything about it is ridiculous!


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Need_advice123 said:


> I'm not going to give up custody of my kids. She'd like me too, but I'm not that stupid. Just figured I'd throw the ridiculous out there. Exactly what she wants me to do. Everything about it is ridiculous!


Including the fact that you haven’t divorced her.


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## Need_advice123 (Nov 8, 2017)

Touche. Easy to say without the emotional involvement, love, and kids together. I got what your saying however and appreciate everyone being so candid. 

I'm hoping she'll see how nuts some of the stuff we go through is. Not normal everyday relationship issues. Deep seated stuff that no one could even make up if they were even trying!

So emotionally draining. Just getting to the point where I'm starting to stand up for myself. The cheating stuff is way over the line. Kid stuff too!

Who encourages a father to be less involved in their kids lives? Sounds crazy to even say it. Who cheats and blames the person cheated on? Even if there is relationship issues that need to be addressed? Again....crazy to even type it here!


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

Need_advice123 said:


> Touche. Easy to say without the emotional involvement, love, and kids together. I got what your saying however and appreciate everyone being so candid.
> 
> I'm hoping she'll see how nuts some of the stuff we go through is. Not normal everyday relationship issues. Deep seated stuff that no one could even make up if they were even trying!
> 
> ...


Almost 100% of the cheaters in the threads on these forums.


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## Need_advice123 (Nov 8, 2017)

I guess I understand people trying to defend themselves. People don't like to admit wrongdoings...makes em feel like sh*t. In my view...even if it's a crappy marriage for whatever reasons, the cheating just makes it worse. Instead of trying to fix stuff, you throw another dynamic in there that just destroys trust! Implicit in the cheating is also the lying, sneaking around, emotionally or sexually connecting to some random person instead of investing that energy in your spouse. No....I'm not a total idiot! We just have some major issues.

I have gone to some counseling over the past few weeks. I'm hoping we can go together at some point to hash through some of these issues and get on a healthy path....for ourselves and our family. I can't do it on my own, however. I'm hoping she'll want the same at some point soon!


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## Lostme (Nov 14, 2014)

I know people say they married for better or worse, but that does not mean you can't have boundaries that are put in place to say enough is enough I will not put up with this.

It takes 2 to make a marriage work, and she does not seem to want to be a team player.

She knows you won't go anywhere and that there are no consequences for the crap she pulls, she will never stop and it will only get worse.

You are going to drive yourself insane dealing with everything she is throwing at you, grow a pair and lay out some boundaries and you have to hold strong to what you tell her will happen if she crosses those lines. 

Love love love well all I can say about this, is that there are far better woman that you could love that will accept your children.

Since you have no intention of leaving, I suggest you get tested for STD's and get them boundaries in place and follow through


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Same as my previous post that relates exactly as this OP.
"Welcome to the 21 century, where evolution had taken the balls out of the males of the human species,and testosterone levels had skyrocketed in the females of the species. Where males cry like babies, and wonder what they did wrong. Where females tells the males in their face that they cheated and that's OK because it is the male's fault, and the male's lack of balls can't make him stand for himself and actually, doesn't know how, and in this OP case, can't even stand firmly and strongly for his own kids and has to ask strangers in an internet forum if it is OK to dispose of his kids custody to please his woman, so sad.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Need_advice123 said:


> I guess I understand people trying to defend themselves. People don't like to admit wrongdoings...makes em feel like sh*t. In my view...even if it's a crappy marriage for whatever reasons, the cheating just makes it worse. Instead of trying to fix stuff, you throw another dynamic in there that just destroys trust! Implicit in the cheating is also the lying, sneaking around, emotionally or sexually connecting to some random person instead of investing that energy in your spouse. No....I'm not a total idiot! We just have some major issues.
> 
> Your issues are she's a cheaters and you appear to be so codependent on her you can't make a decision but instead make excuses for her behavior
> 
> I have gone to some counseling over the past few weeks. I'm hoping we can go together at some point to hash through some of these issues and get on a healthy path....for ourselves and our family. I can't do it on my own, however. I'm hoping she'll want the same at some point soon!


So what's she doing to try and fix this? You are correct you can't fix it alone and the only one that can fix her is her.

Better wake up


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## OnTheRocks (Sep 26, 2011)

Give up your kids for this tramp... Okay. If that even sounds like an option, you probably should.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

This is the same wife that wanted to swing in your previous thread. 

What else would you expect form her?


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

If you divorce her this is how I see it playing out.

You file you will be on an emotional rollacoster she will kick and scream .you will find out the real reason she don't have custody of her other children. She will neglect them .they already know something is different or wrong with how mom acts . They will become a bothersome responcibility for her. You will end up with custody by default.

You will end up raising your kids on your own.


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## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

Need_advice123 said:


> Should I try to give up custody of my older kids to please her?


No, this can't be real and if it is, this is disgraceful and quite possibly the weakest post I've ever seen.

I'm out.


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## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

Rob_1 said:


> Same as my previous post that relates exactly as this OP.
> "Welcome to the 21 century, where evolution had taken the balls out of the males of the human species,and testosterone levels had skyrocketed in the females of the species. Where males cry like babies, and wonder what they did wrong. Where females tells the males in their face that they cheated and that's OK because it is the male's fault, and the male's lack of balls can't make him stand for himself and actually, doesn't know how, and in this OP case, can't even stand firmly and strongly for his own kids and has to ask strangers in an internet forum if it is OK to dispose of his kids custody to please his woman, so sad.


No, this has always been the case throughout history, just in today's society we have the internet to share these wonderful stories about..

p.s Not really wonderful, I'm gobsmacked if the OP is on the up.


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

I can't believe the stupidity on here at times. You should give up custody of the who..re of a wife not your children. You are being played big time. Can't believe you haven't dropped this creature like a bad habit.


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## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)

Pretty rare when I feel actual embarrassment when reading a thread. Sitting here sick as hell, had to leave work early, trying not to throw up, and just embarrassed for the OP. And not to pile on but you should be humiliated allowing someone as sleazy as your wife to play you like a fiddle the way she is. 

You know what you have to do. You're just too co-dependent to do it. Doesn't make you a bad person, but it's clearly made you a complete doormat. You're letting your serial cheater wife call all the shots, re-write the marital history to make herself the victim and you the bad guy, she continues to treat you like **** and you come here asking what exactly???

The only things you should be doing are

1. The 180
2. Filing for divorce
3. DNA testing the children you have together (yes I know they're the spitting image of you blah blah blah said every cuckold ever)
4. Limiting contact with your wife.

Stop being a doormat. Stop asking questions with blatantly obvious answers. Wash your wife's foot prints off your face, pick yourself up, stand up straight, and do what you need to do.

I'm not saying all this to be mean, but your waaaayyy past needing kid glove treatment. You really need to wake the hell up and grow a pair. The only way you're going to get out of this mess is if you get yourself out. Your wife isn't going to do it and she sure as hell isn't going to do it for you.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

After she get her cosmetic surgeries done she will leave you. Look up divorce statistics for boob jobs and tummy tuck surgeries, etc.

Start keeping a journal of all this stuff. You will need every ounce of evidence you an get for custody. Keep a voice activated recorder on you too to keep from getting thrown out and having an EPO put on you. 

Your wife is done with you, protect your kids and yourself.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Lose her and not your kids! It's only a matter of time before she succeeds in cheating on you, that is, if she hasn't already!

Your kids are yours forever! Always be there for them!*


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## Walloped (Feb 14, 2018)

Just wanted to say I’m sorry you’re going through this.


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## Tomara (Jun 19, 2013)

After all the lies and extremely “not” marriage material you stick by the I love her. You can still love someone even if they are toxic but it doesn’t make it right. Like others here, you lost my respect when you asked should I give up my kids. As the old saying goes” keep doing what your doing and you’ll keep getting what you get” This whole thread has made me rather ill so I will no longer be reading the updates.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Tomara said:


> After all the lies and extremely “not” marriage material you stick by the I love her. You can still love someone even if they are toxic but it doesn’t make it right. Like others here, you lost my respect when you asked should I give up my kids. As the old saying goes” keep doing what your doing and you’ll keep getting what you get” This whole thread has made me rather ill so I will no longer be reading the updates.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Tomara, you don't have to worry I highly doubt there will be any updates, he is a lost soul, she will continue to feed him the kool-aid and he will continue to take it. Over the years here, i have seen so many lost that way.


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