# Dealing w Step Parents



## Wifey814 (Sep 29, 2014)

I mean no disrespect when I post this so please no rude replies- but Im interested to hear from moms or dads on how they've dealt w the steps when relationship is bad and no hope of good one. My sons step has alienated me from day 1. She taught my son to call her mommy "name here" at 3- before they were even married. She treats me as if Im a horrible mom and she's the mother he should have had. She's given him 3 diff sex talks before 7 without either parents permission/presence. Several people have told me how she gossips abt me at family functions. Sports functions are miserable. The last straw was when she made a big deal abt wanting to be friends- basically I believe so she could be even meaner to me, stalk my fb, etc. She'd make comments that were just condescending enough to be rude- like yeah "son" told me he always has to take care of brother- how cute" when commenting on a photo of my kids., etc. Last straw was mothers day wknd when she picked him up from school w no notification to me (my wknd) and I went to daycare- no son. Get to house- no one answers door- had to call his dad to get hold of. The reason given is technically paperwork sayes 6pm. Even though we've always done after work- they dont feel they should have had to notify me bc we have same paperwork. I get lil to no communication when it comes to visitation sessions etc. no notification on sports unless son tells me. She even intercepts his thurs school folder I dont even get that. I finally blocked her on fb and have stopped going the extra mile to be nice. I feel bullied and quite frankly think she's a tad crazy side. I got abt 4 fake friend req's on fb this month. Pretty sure they were all her. Not to mention the instagram she made for my son- which he cant have the password and she actually uses when he's not there as well (I've seen this.) another kicker- when I bought him a cell phone for christmas ladt year- she text him 44 times in 3 days. When I sent it to their house I was told never to do so again (by his dad) when I said then tell your wife not to text him 44x while he's HERE- I get Oh thats unfortunate- thought you wanted him to talk to his fam. Wth. Is this weird to anyone else?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

You could protest and insist that she cannot pick your child up from school, day care, etc.

Why don't you know about his sports events? Don't you go to those, get the info, etc?


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

You might want to read the link to my story. 

Although no steps, my ex bought the cell phone, told her to hide it from me and called/texted excessively. In my case, it was part of his parental alienation tactics - he was making her feel that she was unsafe with me and needed a way to reach him in "an emergency". Finally when he took me to court for custody, the guardian ad litem saw this and recommended a limit of 3 calls a week for no more than 15 minutes per call, to conclude before 9pm.

Make sure you talk to teachers, coaches, etc. and INSIST you are copied on every email from school/teachers/coaches. You are the mother and have the right to know.

Like many behaviors, alienation can range from a few negative remarks about the other parent all the way to a full blown mission to make the child hate one parent. The situation you are in seems relatively mild. But you are your best advocate so assert your rights everywhere you can.

You may want to buy and read "Divorce Poison" by Richard Warshack - very useful information on how to deal with the other "parent" (or in this case step mom) as well as what is appropriate to discuss with your child and how to do it.


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## Wifey814 (Sep 29, 2014)

@ EleGirl- Its when his season starts- he practices 3x a week- so by the time I get him- he'll be on practice 4 or 5, and I hadn't been told anything even started. Its happened two years in a row. It just bothers me. I feel like its common courtesy, not that hard to notify with a text. They don't ever notify me of anything in hopes I'll miss as much as possible.


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## Wifey814 (Sep 29, 2014)

@ EnjoliWoman I was looking for your link to read your story! very interested. You have some great advice and it does help hearing maybe its not as bad as I think. I've really felt bullied a lot and hated the whole situation. I think its a combo of dad and step-mom, but she's pretty much the leader. I will look up the book you posted too. Im looking for ways to put out the fire. NOT interested in her friendship- just want her to leave me alone.


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