# I am at my breaking point with Step Daughter



## liifeiisabeach

I have been married to DH for 6 months, together almost 2 years, lived together the whole time. He has a daughter from his first marriage who is 12. She used to only come over on weekends, until her mom moved to another state. She has been living with us full time since September of last year. My issue is DH parents her out of guilt. If there is a rule in place she doesn't like she will tell him she hates him / hates it at our house, and he'll give in. My breaking point was yesterday, I turned the internet off while we were at work since she was home all day and she sent him a text message "You can't trust me with the internet? I hate hate hate it here !!!" What happens? He APOLOGIZES to her !!!!! Are you KIDDING ME? NO, a 12 year old should not have access to the full internet when there is no adult around, although DH believes that DSD is an angel and will never get into any trouble. And NO I can’t trust you since you lied straight to my face about being up till 3am on video chat with random people ! I really want to say “if you hate it so much here…. Then go back to your moms house and let the internet raise you !” She hates our house so much because we do have rules and regulations, her mom has none. However, DH doesn’t help me enforce these rules, and always gives in to her ! I don't want her to have full access to the internet, and he won't put any block on it. He also doesn't believe in checking her Facebook/Skype/Text messages. I believe she can have full privacy when she's 18. At 12 years old she does not need to be given freedom like an adult. It’s putting a lot of strain on my marriage. I’m to the point where I want nothing to do with her. Any advice ?!


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## IndyTMI

You need to have a sit down talk with him and get him to understand that if he doesn't help you enforce rules, your relationship can be at risk. If he continues to undermine your authority, you will have no respect from either of them. 
What would happen if you acted like her? If you told him you hated it there because your words of authority and enforcement mean nothing to him, as he won't back you up.


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## daisygirl 41

You also need to respect some of his decisions and compromise on the rules.
Has she given you reason to mistrust her Internet usage?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## d4life

I dont think the main problem is your step daughter, I think it's your husband. The two of you are not on the same page when it comes to parenting your SD. He wants to be her friend and not the parent. He wants to keep the peace. The problem with this is that it can destroy a marriage because if the other person does not have a voice in what happens or does not feel like their view matters, that person gets hurt. Like you are right now.

My BIL is going through this very thing and is about to get divorced because of it. They have been married for almost 20 years. The kids play a huge roll in this too because they will play one against the other to get their way. It's awful.

After talking to him I see where he really needed to sometimes pick his battles. He would get upset over small things that at the end of the day really should not have mattered, but because things have gone on for so long, now the small things eat him alive.

You and your husband need to get help now. Go talk to someone who can help with parenting. You also need to pick your battles. That's very important. If you dont get help and get on the same page with this it's never going to work. It would be the same way if the two of you had a child together. You have to see eye to eye. You have to respect with the other one says and come to an agreement together. Parenting is so very hard and you have to be willing to compromise.

At 12 years old, this child is right at the age where she can go one of two ways, she can be happy and hang out with the good kids, make good grades and good choices OR she can be so pissed at you that she rebels and gets into things you never want to have to deal with. You better get this worked out now because you are about to have to start parenting through some mighty hard times and you cant do it alone. She is at the age where all of this started with my BIL. Don't let her control your marriage by controlling your husband. Get help now.

ETA: Unless she has given you a reason to think she is in danger I would leave the internet on. My kids have been on it for years and they have been fine. Just set some rules with it. Put parental controls on and trust her a little. Be open and honest with her about what you and your husband expect. What site was she on? My kids are normally up late on weekends too but that's just kids.


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## LoveBeingFemale

Does she have the option to live with her mother? These years can be very trying.


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## pb76no

Do you talk about and agree on the rules with your DH FIRST, or do you make the rule & just expect your DH to back you up? There is a big difference between the two.


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## liifeiisabeach

daisygirl 41 said:


> You also need to respect some of his decisions and compromise on the rules.
> Has she given you reason to mistrust her Internet usage?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yes she has. She looks up inappropriate websites and video chats with strangers. I have told her many times that there are bad men out there who do bad things to little girls, and she needs to stop talking to people she doesn't know.


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## liifeiisabeach

pb76no said:


> Do you talk about and agree on the rules with your DH FIRST, or do you make the rule & just expect your DH to back you up? There is a big difference between the two.


I definitely talk to my husband about "rules" first and get his input. He usually agrees, then backtracks when it comes time to enforcing them.


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## pb76no

Then as D4life said, the problem is with your husband. If he is not on board, you are fighting a losing battle. It is his child, not yours (assuming you didn't adopt). And I have 2 step-children, so I know that just makes parenting more difficult. And guilt is a powerful weapon a child can use in that situation.

It is great that you are concerned for her safety, but her biggest threat is from her own father's willingness to abdicate his parental responsibilities in order to make up for her broken home - regardless of whether that was within his control or not.


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## liifeiisabeach

I know that my issue is with DH for his lack of parenting. But DSD is no dummy, she knows when she can play her dad against me to get her way. It was just her and daddy for about 5 years before I came into the picture. She's never liked me. She would text her mom "SM is getting all of the attention AGAIN." Almost every weekend. (I know this because BM and I are friends) She tells her dad at least once a week "You don't love me" When she is asking for something, she will quietly ask her dad even if it has something to do with me directly. He has gotten better with making her ask me. 

DH and I were raised completely different. He didn't have a dad around, and his mom was too busy working 2 jobs to be there for supervision. At 12 he was running the streets. I grew up in suburbia with my mom and step dad. My mom was very involved with what I was doing as a kid and I had a lot of rules.

Now we're trying to combine the 2. I fully believe that children should have rules to follow, and consequences in place if said rules are broken. 

I don't know what else to do. I have set up dates for just the 2 of them every month. They just recently went and saw Mama together. I do not keep her dad from her. I am not selfish with his time. I know she is his child and she has precedence. I have tried to get her to do things with me she enjoys, crafts, riding bikes, etc... but she never wants to do them. I bought all but 2 of her Christmas presents. 

Recently one of her friends posted on a FB post that I commented on saying "You must be her ****ed up step mom. **** you and your rachet ass self." I'm sure DSD thinks very highly of me.


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## pb76no

You know she is being manipulative, he doesn't. I think family counseling is your best bet, but that HAS to come from him. He needs to tell her you are all 3 going, it can't come from you. If he won't do that, I don't know what other options you have. You can't force him to make the right decision.

You're avatar has a baby in the picture. Do you have a younger child as well? That can certainly add to the dynamics.


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## liifeiisabeach

Yes. DH and I have an 8 month old little boy. DSD LOVES her brother. If it wasn't for him, she wouldn't be living with us. He is her only reason for not going to live with her mom.


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## d4life

liifeiisabeach said:


> Yes. DH and I have an 8 month old little boy. DSD LOVES her brother. If it wasn't for him, she wouldn't be living with us. He is her only reason for not going to live with her mom.


Your husband will do the same thing with your son too. It's just his parenting style. It may have a little to do with the broken home but I really think it's his style. He needs to stop. 

I knew this kind of thing happened but my BIL opened my eyes to a lot of this over the weekend. He is in YOUR shoes. He has all but checked out of the marriage because of the way his wife does him. This is why I say to get help. If I was under minding my husband all the time he would get mad, just like you are. You have to agree to stand together.

By the way, if she has friends who are posting that kind of crap about you on facebook you have problems. She should not be hanging with people who disrespect adults like that online or off. That is a huge red flag to me. Maybe she needs to be in some kind of therapy too.


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## d4life

liifeiisabeach said:


> Yes she has. She looks up inappropriate websites and video chats with strangers. I have told her many times that there are bad men out there who do bad things to little girls, and she needs to stop talking to people she doesn't know.


Is she doing the Chatroulette? I dont like that either and my kids are not allowed on it. Very dangerous IMO. My kids showed it to me once and there was creepy old men on there half nude. No, I would put my foot down with that one for sure.

Is she face timing with friends? I am fine with that for my kids, as long as they know them.


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## liifeiisabeach

d4life said:


> Is she doing the Chatroulette? I dont like that either and my kids are not allowed on it. Very dangerous IMO. My kids showed it to me once and there was creepy old men on there half nude. No, I would put my foot down with that one for sure.
> 
> Is she face timing with friends? I am fine with that for my kids, as long as they know them.


She was doing Chatroulette but now she does the video chat Via Facebook and she clicks "meet someone new". Pretty much the same thing. I found out because she did it on my laptop one night.


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## d4life

I looked on Face Book with my daughter and I didnt see it, but we did see video chat rounds. Is that what you are talking about? My DD said that she thinks it is just like chat roulette and yes, she should stay off of it. 

I think if this were me dealing with my DD at this point I would try something new. I never knew this until coming here but they have this key tracker thing or someway to track everything that is done on the computer. I would install one. I would also turn on parental controls. 

Then I would let her know that she is allowed online, and that there is a tracking system on it that you and her daddy will be checking daily to make sure that she is being safe. If she crosses the line and goes to sites that are inappropriate or dangerous she will lose her privilege. Period. 

I have always told my kids that I will trust you until you give me a reason not to. Maybe go with that. I really dont know, but I do know that being a parent is hard, and you really need to get your husband to understand how important it is that he backs you up. 

Someone told me that you have to be a parent first, and a friend later. That is so true.


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## KathyBatesel

liifeiisabeach said:


> I have been married to DH for 6 months, together almost 2 years, lived together the whole time. He has a daughter from his first marriage who is 12. She used to only come over on weekends, until her mom moved to another state. She has been living with us full time since September of last year. My issue is DH parents her out of guilt. If there is a rule in place she doesn't like she will tell him she hates him / hates it at our house, and he'll give in. My breaking point was yesterday, I turned the internet off while we were at work since she was home all day and she sent him a text message "You can't trust me with the internet? I hate hate hate it here !!!" What happens? He APOLOGIZES to her !!!!! Are you KIDDING ME? NO, a 12 year old should not have access to the full internet when there is no adult around, although DH believes that DSD is an angel and will never get into any trouble. And NO I can’t trust you since you lied straight to my face about being up till 3am on video chat with random people ! I really want to say “if you hate it so much here…. Then go back to your moms house and let the internet raise you !” She hates our house so much because we do have rules and regulations, her mom has none. However, DH doesn’t help me enforce these rules, and always gives in to her ! I don't want her to have full access to the internet, and he won't put any block on it. He also doesn't believe in checking her Facebook/Skype/Text messages. I believe she can have full privacy when she's 18. At 12 years old she does not need to be given freedom like an adult. It’s putting a lot of strain on my marriage. I’m to the point where I want nothing to do with her. Any advice ?!


I haven't written much about this on here, but just today in the apologies thread on the main forum I told part of our story and it's VERY similar. Someone asked me to look at your thread as a result of that post. 

My stepdaughter was 14 when her dad and I got together. I'm a former drug and alcohol counselor, and I saw signs that she was using and other problems. My husband was like yours - his parenting was lax and over-indulgent. She got her way on EVERYTHING! 

Twice I almost moved out. As much as I adore my guy, I told him I wouldn't watch her destroy her life because he refused to parent. We had many disagreements along the way, though they weren't exactly fights. I am not sure how to describe it except to say that I had to be very careful to respect his views and uphold him as much as possible while going through the process of educating him about her behavior and placing the responsibility for parenting on his shoulders WHILE retaining my position as the woman of the house and insisting upon being treated as one of two ADULTS in the household. 

We went through a lot in our first year and a half together over this, but we did make it through. I'm on your side on the matter, and I can tell you that there *is* hope, but I can also tell you that this is definitely something that could doom your relationship. 

In my situation, my husband adores me and knows that I am his biggest fan and cheerleader. I think this was critical to getting through this. However, he believed that I was just trying to make things hard on her. His ex had dumped ALL of the household chores on my stepdaughter from an early age. She was 8 y.o. and doing laundry for the entire household (3 adults, 3 kids), cleaning the kitchen and taking out trash every day, cleaning the bathroom twice a week and her own room and floors a couple times a week. And when I say she had to clean, I'm not talking about just wiping things down. Anyway, the ex's kids had NO chores at all, got high around the house, and things like that. My husband felt guilty that she'd been through so much and wanted things to be easy for her, and if I had any expectations of her he flashed back to the past and assumed I was being mean. 

You'll need to start by removing yourself as a disciplinarian and instead, declare that you will be the "trusted adult" in your relationship with her. This can help you avoid all the "you're not my mom" crap and remind him of your role. 

You'll also need to get very clear on just how much guidance the girl does/doesn't need. My stepdaughter was not the first teen girl I had dealt with. I'd raised three daughters and a stepdaughter by the time I came into this household, and so I brought some valuable knowledge, but I also had learned about mistakes I'd made with my kids. I found along the way that in the end, none of what you do or don't do matters much! Let me explain this because it's completely at odds with my own beliefs (and yours) but is important for getting through this stuff: 

I believe in "concerted cultivation." I wanted my kids to develop the skills to be successful in life. My definition of successful is a life that has a high degree of financial freedom, social relationships, and ways to resolve problems. My ex husband has none of these and didn't model this for our children, and so he always worked against me on this. He was the Tinkerbell dad and I was Godzilla mom. I made them stick out classes they didn't like and forced them to get good grades in them, while he accepted "the teacher doesn't like me" as an excuse for a D. My kids grew to resent me because my methods were not supported by other important people in their lives, and they will probably never achieve the kind of lifestyle I'd hoped they'd one day find. Yet they're perfectly content with the lifestyles they have - which I find to be drama-filled, unpredictable, and full of whining and complaints. The bottom line is that the only person who will get disappointed if your rules aren't followed is... you. And you will have become the bad guy in the process if you push too hard. 

I had this in mind when dealing with our situation. My stepdaughter said how my own kids didn't even like me. (They do, and it's still me they turn to for advice when they can't get out of the messes their 20-something lifestyle brings to them.) But her perception influenced my husband, who was struggling to find a way to navigate the fine line between pleasing two people he loved. You're going to be in the same boat, and so is your hubby. 

Your end goal is for her to be a productive adult. What does this mean to each of you? Once you answer this and find something you can both agree on, you'll need to decide to ONLY address the things that can interfere with that. In my household, it came down to two basic things: No self-mutilating or self-destructive behavior was acceptable. Nothing that would leave a paper trail that could harm her, like an arrest record or bad grades. 

We agreed on this, which I think was important to us being able to get through, because it gave us a standard to return to whenever we got into a disagreement.

A lot of things can fall into those two categories, like doing drugs, "forgetting" to do homework, etc. I'm like you... I paid attention to her FB and Twitter posts. I checked out her friends' pages, too. I logged into her school website every day to watch her homework progress and grades. 

When something started slipping, I told my husband about it. If and when I had to confront her directly, I emphasized with her that whatever happened would be her dad's decision, not mine, but that he would probably take my opinion into consideration before making a decision. When talking to him, I'd say that while it was his decision what to do, I expected him to listen carefully and give thought to what I had to say.

When I thought something was about to happen, I would go so far as to read her text messages. I often didn't reveal how I found out information because this would just teach her to hide it better. I had to get my husband's agreement to not spill the beans about how we got our information. 

I ALWAYS approached my husband first before I set out any "rules" or procedures. For instance, my SD lied to me a lot. Since she had a job, I told him I wanted to charge her $5 each time she lied to me. He didn't like it but agreed to try. I billed her the first time, and then we had something come up where she lied four times in a single night. I told her I would bill her $5 instead of the whole $20 so that she still had to pay a price of some sort, but so that they both could see I wasn't trying to destroy her. 

I went to him about drug testing her, too. He agreed, and when she came up positive, he looked for reasons I was wrong about the positive result. I sent it to the lab and got confirmation, then repeated the test a couple weeks later. Same thing... he blamed me for doing the test wrong, and I was prepared for his response. I broke open ANOTHER test kit and told him to do it. Yep, same result - positive. 

As all of this stuff progressed, he started to understand and recognize my viewpoint. I had an advantage that you don't in the sense that I was a drug and alcohol counselor who had seen all this before and knew how to respond to a lot of the excuses and lies, and was able to remind him of this. Also, I knew up front that I was in for a battle to get things on track when it was so out of balance to begin with. I gave them both a LOT of support and love even when I was disagreeing, both in my actions and in the words I used to explain that I was showing my support by taking this action (like picking her up from school each day even though it's a 10-minute walk.) 

Throughout all of it, I focused on:

1. What it means to be a good parent
2. What a teen girl needs to become a confident, successful woman

He reached a breaking point. As the evidence built up, he finally came to me and said, "What do I do? I don't know how to cope with this." From that point forward, we've worked very well as a team and have not had the disagreements. Today, he tells other people that he was in denial about her and that he's glad I helped him see it. (When his daughter's friend's dad showed up at our door saying he was going to have the girl arrested, my husband encouraged the man to let me go back to his house with him and talk to them all, and said I could help him get things back on track. He told him about what we'd gone through a little bit, too.)

Don't give up hope, and don't give up you. Let your words help you and your husband stay focused on the household's well being. Let him be the bad guy to the degree he can, and be there to back him up when he's riddled with guilt and uncertainty. When you MUST step in yourself, let your stepdaughter know that you're doing it because you won't let her hurt her dad because you love them both and don't want their relationship to be harmed. When you and hubby aren't agreeing, keep those talks private. When you do agree, include his daughter in discussions. 

And if you have specific questions, feel free to PM me. I don't come into this forum usually.


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## KathyBatesel

I just read about the FB thing and her friend's comment. We went through that, too. I'd let most of that go. It's "cool" to hate your parents at her age and lets her fit in with her peers. She makes you sound worse than you are, and in her heart she knows what she's doing. If you try to make an issue of it, it will just alienate her. Show understanding and demonstrate that you're confident enough to not let that bother you. She'll take a lesson from it! 

I'm curious... you haven't mentioned it, but there are so many similarities that I'll ask. Has she stolen from you? Mine started to, and I realized that she was only taking things that would make her feel like she was a grown-up or more like me. We had a couple of incidents over it, until I said, "From now on, if I'm missing something, I'll be searching your room for it." (My husband had already given his ok on this.) It curbed the problem immediately.


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## Holland

Odds are you won't like this but TBH it is you and your DH that have created this problem and most likely your marriage will struggle to survive unless either or more importantly both of you change.

You lived together straight away. You have only been together 2 years. You must have got pg very quickly. You knew he had been married before and had a DD.
None of this is conducive to happy times. It is incredibly hard to blend families and you have rushed this and now trying to boss your DH and his DD around.

He must parent her, not you. What will happen is that the more you try and force yourself into the parenting role with her, the more she will fight back. She will get her dad on side, he will take her side over you, your marriage will crumble. It is a very common story.

You are not the girls parent, you never will be. Have you done any research into step parenting and blending families? Most of the advice is to take things very slowly and for the step parent to be a friend and not a parenting figure.


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## turnera

liifeiisabeach said:


> I definitely talk to my husband about "rules" first and get his input. He usually agrees, then backtracks when it comes time to enforcing them.


Find a good psychologist, make an appointment, and drag your husband there.


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## KathyBatesel

Holland said:


> Odds are you won't like this but TBH it is you and your DH that have created this problem and most likely your marriage will struggle to survive unless either or more importantly both of you change.
> 
> You lived together straight away. You have only been together 2 years. You must have got pg very quickly. You knew he had been married before and had a DD.
> None of this is conducive to happy times. It is incredibly hard to blend families and you have rushed this and now trying to boss your DH and his DD around.
> 
> He must parent her, not you. What will happen is that the more you try and force yourself into the parenting role with her, the more she will fight back. She will get her dad on side, he will take her side over you, your marriage will crumble. It is a very common story.
> 
> You are not the girls parent, you never will be. Have you done any research into step parenting and blending families? Most of the advice is to take things very slowly and for the step parent to be a friend and not a parenting figure.


While I agree that it's a great idea to research, I would *strongly* advise against taking a position of "friend" OR "parent." Trusted adult = valuable words.


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## Holland

KathyBatesel said:


> While I agree that it's a great idea to research, I would *strongly* advise against taking a position of "friend" OR "parent." Trusted adult = valuable words.


Yes trusted adult is a good way to put it. My step parents were trusted adults or bonus adults in my life. All the research I have read says not to try and be a parent unless the child does not have the bio parent in their lives and the family was blended when the child was very young.

It really is one of the most difficult family dynamics to do well and sadly the majority fail at it.


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## 3Xnocharm

Your husband is not doing his job as her parent and you are trying too hard to do it for him. You need to DETACH. All parenting to be done by him from this point on. She needs a ride? He can take her. She doesnt like what you cook? He can make her something...etc, etc. His child is HIS responsibility. Your role as step parent is to love her, be her friend, and keep her safe. Thats pretty much it, anything beyond that SHOULD be a bonus, but your husband seems to think that you should be doing the parenting. 

DETACH DETACH DETACH.


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## EleGirl

My husband let his children (my step son and daughter) have unsupervise internet access. They are in their mid 20's now so this was before things got as crazy one line as they are now.

When they were in junior high I put keyloggers on their computers. We had a network in the house so I was about to monitor their computers from my computer.

Well sure enough, my stepdaughter had a friend spend the night. They were in 9th grade. This girl was in chat making dates for herself and my stepdaughter with men in their late 20's, early 30's. The plan was to meet the men the next day at the mall. The meeting never happened. I gave the logs to the girl's father and the police. That was also the last time that girl was allowed in our home.

Then down the line I caught found my step daughter chatting with odler guys and exchanging photos. She had exchanged phone numbers with one of the guys and they called each other. I took her internet access away for 6 months. Again turned everything over to the FBI. when she got her internet priviledges back she was monitored every more closely. She had to be suprevised. Some kids just do not believe the stove is hot no matter how many times they get burned.

My point is that maybe you could put a keylogger on her computer and only tell her father if she does something that puts her in danger. Maybe then he will get that there is a problem.


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## Tigger

To any parent who thinks their teens are being perfect angels on the internet, put a keylogger on the machine and you will find out very differently.

To the OP just put a login and password on the computer and say that is how it is going to be. Your house. Your rules.

Put a keylogger on the machine too where you can show the dad what she is doing.

12 years old is too young for fb anyway. The min age is 13.


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## d4life

Tigger said:


> To any parent who thinks their teens are being perfect angels on the internet, put a keylogger on the machine and you will find out very differently.
> 
> To the OP just put a login and password on the computer and say that is how it is going to be. Your house. Your rules.
> 
> Put a keylogger on the machine too where you can show the dad what she is doing.
> 
> 12 years old is too young for fb anyway. The min age is 13.



My kids are on iPads now more than anything. How would you do this on an iPad?


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## EleGirl

d4life said:


> My kids are on iPads now more than anything. How would you do this on an iPad?


There are keylogger for the ipad.


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## Lonely&ConfusedMe

This is my two cents, and I'm going to try not to take a side here. You are in a very unenviable position. I had to deal with new step-parents at about the same age, and I can tell you... there are few things worse than having to go through these really difficult, formative years trying to adjust to having a "new parent". These years are tough enough by themselves! Step-families are incredibly hard to navigate successfully. 

I also am a parent now. So, I understand your concerns from that perspective. 

I wouldn't put too much stock in the "I hate...'s"... That's normal for the age, and is only temporary. I would very much watch the internet activity. There are too many predators out there, and it strikes me that this young girl is having a rough go of life at the moment, and may be particularly vulnerable to advances from people who claim to "care". I don't know if I advocate the use of spying devices, but maybe your husband should lay down ground rules on the internet usage.

Which brings me to my final point... Your husband needs to take an active role here. If the child sees your husband, who the child looks to for parenting, dismissing your concerns and not disciplining her, she will pay no attention whatsoever to your attempts to "parent". She does not look at you as an authority figure, period. It starts with your husband. 

As far as your relationship with the girl... I have had step-parents (my parents had a habit of marrying, and re-marrying more than once) who were absolutely wonderful, and ones whom I hated with a passion. It starts with trust. You can't come on the scene and be a dominant figure. You have to establish a relationship and trust first, before you try to be an authority in this girls life. No matter that you come from a place of concern and care, you were fighting an uphill battle since the day before she arrived. It's not too late, though. You just need patience, and maybe a different perspective. Put yourself in her shoes. Life hurts at that age.

Your husband needs to parent, and you need to establish trust. She needs to know that you're there for her, in a positive and constructive way, as hard as that is for you. You're the adult, and you set the tone. It can be done.


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## curlysue321

She is not your child. Step out of the parenting role and let your husband handle it. Not your child not your problem.


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## Bobby5000

I am a step-parent and have two kids who turned out well. First, the primary disciplinarian must be the natural parent. If there is to be a good guy/ bad guy situation, the step-parent should be the easier one. You do have to discuss things together. 

If you are going to be tough, be tough with your husband. Write things down, get an agreement, and with it, he can enforce the rules. For example, you were wrong with the Internet. If there was no rule on the Internet, you were wrong to suddenly create a rule. Instead you should have talked to your husband, explained that unsupervised internet creates various problems, and then have a rule you can live with.


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## Wiltshireman

IMHO.

Your husband MUST be the primary disciplinarian.

You and your husband MUST agree the house rules together and stay united when it comes to enforcing them.

You MUST get a parental filter for your home internet.

You and your husband Must explain to your step daughter that you have these rule for HER protection because you both LOVE HER.

I hope all goes well for you all.


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