# Hi.



## kristen (Jun 2, 2010)

I'm new here & this is the forum I decided to land in, but I'm sure I can't fit into several others as well. I hate my marriage. I think I even hate my husband. I know those are strong words, and I'm sorry, but I am tired of being the only one who cares. My husband lacks any ability to take responsibility for his own actions. (This, even a counselor observed.) I think he suffers from bipolar disorder (another forum I ran across.) We have a child whom was born with a congenial birth defect. She has required a couple of surgeries, but is otherwise a very healthy, happy, "normal" 2 year old. Finances haven't always been an issue until more recently when my husband was getting really stressed out at work & decided to "step-down" from salary management and take a pretty significant pay cut. I have been verbally abused, though recently has subsided (but for how long?) I tried approaching him in a loving way telling him I was unhappy the way things were going & asking him to go through some sort of counseling together. That didn't work, I ended up going alone. I tried a little more tough love. We were arguing & I told him I'd had enough we were going to marriage counseling or we were getting a divorce. STILL NOTHING! I cannot take it. I am going to go insane if I stay in this marriage. I am beginning to realize that my happily-ever-after is nothing more then the fairy tale it was intended to be.
I cannot imagine what life after a divorce for a person like me would be. Overweight, broken, mother of one? Humph. Makes me a feel a little jaded just thinking about it.:absolut::absolut::absolut::absolut::absolut::absolut::absolut::crazy:
going to have such a hangover tomorrow! haha


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Are there specific things that are bothering you that you could ask your husband to address? Like asking specifically for help fixing dinner X nights per week? Are you able to leave your child at home alone with him? If so, would getting out of the house a bit more often help you feel a bit better?

What makes you think he is bi-polar? Is he taking any medications or actively seeking treatment?


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## kristen (Jun 2, 2010)

Anytime I bring a little something up to my husband; usually small petty things, I try to approach with a peaceful & loving tone. "i know it doesn't seem like a big deal to you, but could you try to, '_____'?" It always gets turned back on my. our discussion can start about something totally off-the -wall & it'll tun into MY FAULT. I was told just last night that 90% of the reason we do not get along is my fault. I have been called fat, lazy, B* on numerous occasions. I get "shoulder-shrugged" trying to walk opposite of him down the hall, I get told that I should not eat this or that, because I have had plenty already. I've lost contact with many friends because of the way he treats other people. He disrespects my parents ALL THE TIME. He constantly undermines me when it comes to our daughter. I scold her and put her in time out for slapping.... he took her out of time out (because she was crying) and gave here a cookie. REALLY!? I could go on & on. The bi-polar thing is just a theory, but mental illness runs in his family, be has extreme mood swings, which have gotten better since the DOC put him on sleep-aid...Seroquel (SP?) which, as a matter of fact is USDED to treat bipolar disorder. HMMM? i am just so tired of being the one who wants things to work, who is trying to make things work. I've tried sooooo f*ing hard to be the good christian wife I was taught to be, but I can't any more. I have no more fight left in me.


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