# don't waste your time !!



## MBJOE (Nov 2, 2008)

Hi, I have been married for over 16 years. I met my wife in high school @ 15 ! . We did everything right.. dated , married @ 22 and then had a great son 2 years later. My wife had some half ass relationship in June 2007. I was devastated to say the least!! They met on my space !! go figure. I was able to save the marriage by scaring his internet ass away! ha ha ... Drove over 200 miles and knocked on his door... Did not go well.. He had no job and no drivers license and had met my wife on line because he was on house a rest after having his third DUI!! My wife that was a house wife picked him up at the airport.. and so on!! Things went OK for a while , until she did it again on my space.. I guess being a stay at home mother when you have a five teen year old that is all about his friends now , you have nothing but time on your hands... I filed for a divorce immediately.. She had the papers in 3 days. The only reason I'm sharing this with you is once this happens.. you will never forget and your other half will never change.. Move on not matter how hard it is , believe me.. I loved my wife more than any man could love his wife!! Beware !! the goody good wives are in to the bad boy look!! ha ha .. move on you will feel better about yourself in the long run....


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

MBJOE-

There is much wisdom in what you say.

However, I would never divorce my wife over cheating - even if it happened several times. What would trigger a divorce would be if she treated me coldly, or if the cheating led to such a roller-coaster ride that my equilibrium was threatened. STIs would be a deal breaker too 

A picket fence can withstand harsher storms than a solid fence because the wind can blow right through.

I don't feel so fragile that I need to protect myself, so I focus on results not details. If my wife is happy and smiling, and she treats me well, then I'm not particularly interested in how that's being achieved. I gave up trying to get into her head long ago.

Having said all that, we both value honesty, so if one of us got up to anything, I don't think many hours would pass before a full confession was issued.

To give you an example of what I could cope with... If I had to work away from home for six months straight, I would not expect her to be celibate for the whole time. I just would not want any problems when I got back. In my mind, it's all about how she treats me, not how she treats herself.


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## Shelby (Nov 20, 2008)

I should move on too, after all he'll have nothing except her when I'm finished with him! Also in the good ole state of mississippi, I can sue her for alienation of affection and don't think I won't!


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## magicsunset08 (Oct 30, 2008)

What! Have we became a society that takes marriage for granted?! Of course we have. Hey, if spouse cheats once and admits a mistake...fine. Twice......gotta go! As far as the 6 months being away, that statement was rediculous. "Hey honey, I am going to be gone for awhile, go ahead and have sex with someone else while I am gone> Because I am going to!" "Oh, I will let you know for sure when I will be back, so you can get your lover out in plenty of time, because I don't wish to know. It's all good as long as you treat me good." Lack of self-respect and dignity. Why get/stay married if you have that attitude. /wow!


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

magicsunset08-

You totally misunderstand me. I said I could cope, I did not say I would recommend she do it. And who said anything about me cheating? And as for dignity, I don't see sex in quite the same way as you do. As for self-respect I have buckets of that. I have my "lines in the sand" but sex with other people is not one of them. That's just me.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

People focus so much on the "cheating" aspect of the affair, that they miss the bigger picture. They miss the fact that for months or perhaps years leading up to the affair, the other partner, or perhaps both partners were dissatisfied. Yet each partner allowed the situation to deteriorate as if that's OK. When the affair finally comes, the blame starts, and the affair is the thing that is focused on instead of the causes. People are basically silly.

If two people focus on loving and supporting each other as much as possible, either affairs will never arise, or if they do, they will have little effect.


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## MBJOE (Nov 2, 2008)

Shelby said:


> I should move on too, after all he'll have nothing except her when I'm finished with him! Also in the good ole state of mississippi, I can sue her for alienation of affection and don't think I won't!


Good for you !! I am not the smartest person in the world but I would never ever have killed my marriage for a other woman!! how shallow... The worst part of this hole thing is that my son thinks I'm the bad one because I filed for divorce. He does not know the details of course. My soon to be x ! even told my son that see will not work so I have to pay more! How scary when you have spent 22 years with someone just to find out you don't know them at all.. Now I am 37 and going to loose everything. I wish you the best of luck.. Good things happen to good people. Take care


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## Shelby (Nov 20, 2008)

Aww, I just read this! Shame on her! You should tell your son! Why should you pay more? You didn't do anything wrong, she will burn in HE double toothpick for saying things like that to your son!! what a be-otch!! 
I told my hubby today that I KNOW he has a prepaid phone, which of course he deny's! Hes so dumb!
Good luck and email me if I can help! Happy Thanksgiving!


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