# Am i asking too much???



## Misunderstood78 (Aug 11, 2016)

I've been married for a year and 5 months in the relationship 4 years total. My husband has a five year old and a one year old with his ex.... Yes do the math, yep he cheated during our relationship prior to marriage. Well I've never met his mom or the kids mom. I know of them but never have come in contact with them. He has custody of the kids and they sometimes stay with us but when they don't he tells me they stay with his mom. I have always asked why he's never introduced me to his mom and it always starts an argument. He always say that I married him and not his family. Holidays we always celebrate them together just us and maybe separate to spend time with our families. Lately it's just getting very annoying how separate everything is. Am I expecting too much being his wife to meet his mother? Whether or not she likes me I feel at some point of time we should meet . And how can she dislike me and never met me???


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

I wouldn't worry about your mother-in-law, you would probably be better off wondering why your husband doesn't like you.


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## citygirl4344 (Mar 4, 2016)

You've never met his mom?
She presumably must live close of the kids stay with her...I would think you would have at least met her once in the years that you guys have been together. 
Why does he want to keep you so isolated?


Sent from my iPhone


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## Lostme (Nov 14, 2014)

wow that is strange to never have met the mother, maybe next time he goes gets the kids go with him and get out of the car. Seems this guy is hiding something, maybe embarrassed of his mom for some reason.

Are you sure the kids are at his moms? something seems a little off here.

Have you seen pictures of his family? does he has siblings you met?


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## Begin again (Jul 4, 2016)

Something is off here. Could be she is a hoarder. Could be his mom is different or embarrassing in some way. Could be he's got two wives. Who knows. One thing I do know - I couldn't live like that. I'd just go find her and meet her myself and deal with his anger later, since he just dances around the topic by getting angry anyway...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Misunderstood78 said:


> I've been married for a year and 5 months in the relationship 4 years total. My husband has a five year old and a one year old with his ex.... Yes do the math, yep he cheated during our relationship prior to marriage.


Why would you even *stay* with a POS like this? I don't get it.

I bet if you do a little digging, you're going to uncover a lot MORE things you're not going to like.


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## thebirdman (Apr 5, 2014)

Wait.... Ok, weird that this is the part that got my attention: y'all spend holidays separately sometimes?? Granted, I'm not your husband but Me personally, I would rather spend them with my wife. The fact that both of our families are... Well.... Nuts definitely helps with that. 
You're his wife. You don't need to just sit in the corner until he is ready to spend time with you. I always tell mine the my life is a joint venture and she is the only other person who sits on the board. 

I'm not even going to go into the whole cheating thing. 


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Sounds like your hb has two families going on. 

I'd advise you to reconsider whether you want to stay married to him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Do you think maybe your H is still cheating with his ex and she's who is at his mom's house with him and their kids while you and your child are home alone?


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## KillerClown (Jul 20, 2016)

Something smells fishy. He's hiding something and something big.

First of all, find out if you are truly legally married. I've seen cases where there was a religious service but no marriage license issued.


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## Misunderstood78 (Aug 11, 2016)

Yes I've met his brothers but that's it. I've seen his mom out and she didn't even know who I was or she pretended to not.


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## Misunderstood78 (Aug 11, 2016)

thebirdman said:


> Wait.... Ok, weird that this is the part that got my attention: y'all spend holidays separately sometimes?? Granted, I'm not your husband but Me personally, I would rather spend them with my wife. The fact that both of our families are... Well.... Nuts definitely helps with that.
> You're his wife. You don't need to just sit in the corner until he is ready to spend time with you. I always tell mine the my life is a joint venture and she is the only other person who sits on the board.
> 
> I'm not even going to go into the whole cheating thing.
> ...


No I'm always first but I just think its weird when he does spend time it's always alone with his family


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## Misunderstood78 (Aug 11, 2016)

lifeistooshort said:


> Sounds like your hb has two families going on.
> 
> I'd advise you to reconsider whether you want to stay married to him.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yes praying about this everyday...


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## Misunderstood78 (Aug 11, 2016)

MJJEAN said:


> Do you think maybe your H is still cheating with his ex and she's who is at his mom's house with him and their kids while you and your child are home alone?


It's crossed my mind but surely he wouldn't have the kids in both places I would want to hope it's not that. I just wanted to know if anyone else have these issues and if I'm asking too much


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## Misunderstood78 (Aug 11, 2016)

KillerClown said:


> Something smells fishy. He's hiding something and something big.
> 
> First of all, find out if you are truly legally married. I've seen cases where there was a religious service but no marriage license issued.


No we are really married lol I have the marriage license


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

Misunderstood78 said:


> No we are really married lol I have the marriage license


I think what @KillerClown meant was: do some investigating such as "How many other women also have a marriage license in other states with this man?"


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## Misunderstood78 (Aug 11, 2016)

Affaircare said:


> Misunderstood78 said:
> 
> 
> > No we are really married lol I have the marriage license
> ...


OK how do you suggest that?


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Misunderstood78 said:


> I've been married for a year and 5 months in the relationship 4 years total. My husband has a five year old and a one year old with his ex.... Yes do the math, yep he cheated during our relationship prior to marriage. Well I've never met his mom or the kids mom. I know of them but never have come in contact with them. He has custody of the kids and they sometimes stay with us but when they don't he tells me they stay with his mom. I have always asked why he's never introduced me to his mom and it always starts an argument. He always say that I married him and not his family. Holidays we always celebrate them together just us and maybe separate to spend time with our families. Lately it's just getting very annoying how separate everything is. Am I expecting too much being his wife to meet his mother? Whether or not she likes me I feel at some point of time we should meet . And how can she dislike me and never met me???


You sure he is going off to be with his Mom? Where is the other woman in all this? Doesn't she see her kids on the Holidays too? Or does she?


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Misunderstood78 said:


> Yes I've met his brothers but that's it. I've seen his mom out and she didn't even know who I was or she pretended to not.


Maybe he is not hiding her from you, maybe he is hiding you from her. Like maybe as far as his mom knows the other woman is his wife. 

Weird.


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## Lostme (Nov 14, 2014)

This sure is strange, did he not even introduce you to his mother?

How did he introduce you to his brothers? as wife?

Have you even driven to the mother's house to see if he was really there?

I think if it was me I would grab some of the kids clothes or something and take them to moms house, and see what happens.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

lifeistooshort said:


> Sounds like your hb has two families going on.
> 
> I'd advise you to reconsider whether you want to stay married to him.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


YEP, my thought exactly! Why the hell are you even in this "marriage"?? You might want to do some digging, he is probably married to the mother of his children!


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## poida (Jan 17, 2014)

Hang on just a minute here.
When did you find out he cheated? Before marriage?


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## Misunderstood78 (Aug 11, 2016)

No after marriage


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Misunderstood78 said:


> No we are really married lol I have the marriage license


Was he married to his ex? Did they marry and live in the same area that you do?


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## poida (Jan 17, 2014)

Misunderstood78 said:


> No after marriage


I've thought about this over the weekend and I think your situation is a bit like someone at work with power who is hindering you from progressing in your career.

A wide man once told be if someone is a barrier, don't keep pushing against it, go around them to get down what you need done.

Your husband does not respect you.

Get your mother in law's number, call her and go over there immediately for a coffee. Get to know her. She has probably been told you don't want to see her.

After that, law down the rules of the marriage.
1. EXW not to have any contact with his family at all (including drop offs).
2. Husband to have NO contact with EXW other than drop offs and pick ups.
3. You will be the only woman in his life invited to all family gatherings.

In fact, if I was you, I would organise a family party/picnic or something nice. Invite everyone. Get your mother in law to help organise it with you when you go have a coffee.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

How old is his mother? Might she be the mother of the one year old?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## poida (Jan 17, 2014)

MattMatt said:


> How old is his mother? Might she be the mother of the one year old?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:surprise::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Misunderstood78 said:


> Yes I've met his brothers but that's it. I've seen his mom out and she didn't even know who I was or she pretended to not.


The first crazy phenomena that your mirror reflected as Norm....Mailer.

Finally, you get to see the epic...."The Naked and the Dead".

Not a pretty scene in it.......nor in your new family.



Your husband, if I may ask, Is he hot? Is your new familial cohort going to become a Woe......and not a Wow? 

Just thinking out lewd.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Sarcasm aside, run a thorough online background check on your husband and all his family members.

Sign up for the 30-day trial membership on one of them.

Whatever the damn thing costs, I guarantee it will be worth the time, money and F-fort.


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## Spotthedeaddog (Sep 27, 2015)

why would you want to meet his mother??


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## poida (Jan 17, 2014)

spotthedeaddog said:


> why would you want to meet his mother??


Because like it not, that how families work. You have to be involved for it to function.

Any especially when you have a dysfunctional situation like this with a lying husband, you had better take some d*mn control of the situation and get the mother in law on-side.

Are you suggesting she just sit by and see what else her POS husband serves her up? Surely not.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

While having a mother in law is something many could happily live without (yep, I'm one of them), the fact is that not introducing your spouse to family, you still interact with means that something is seriously wrong. He's definitely hiding something, and most likely it's that he's spending his holidays with his ex.


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## tropicalbeachiwish (Jun 1, 2016)

This is very strange. If you're able to afford it, hire a private investigator to get to the bottom of this! 

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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Too weird for words. The kids are likely not at his mums, but at the ex's.

This is just bizarre.


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