# I know, "It's about freaking time"?



## woundedwarrior (Dec 9, 2011)

We're finally separating for real. No more games, half in half out etc. Putting our house up for sale this weekend and already scouting out new places.
We are being very amicable about this, which makes it better than hating each other. She believes in the whole 50/50 thing right down the line from material things to our savings etc.

We're not going to rush to divorce court, because there really isn't any point, I'll never say "I do" again, so no hurry to needlessly spend that money. We have no debt, except the house, so there won't be any financial aftermath issues.

This thing that really sucks is although I'm glad she finally realizes that we aren't going anywhere this way, I'm still not worth fighting for, I've been expendable now in both marriages and that is a kick to the chick-lets.
But at least the slow bleeding can finally stop and I can heal.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

It makes healing much easier when you don't have to see the other person on a daily basis.

Allow time to heal once you are separated. 

It always sucks...even if you are cordial.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

I know this is tough for you, but congrats on finally coming to a conclusion, and a chance to finally find some happy for yourself. If you approach this as a new beginning for yourself, you are going to thrive.


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## Absurdist (Oct 10, 2014)

Based on your most recent thread you had finally "broken". You had come to a place of acceptance.

What happened in the last few days? Who initiated the discussion regarding separation/divorce? How did this come about?

You have been mired in "stuck" for a long time so this is a quick turn of events.


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## philreag (Apr 2, 2015)

Sorry, but you're right. She no longer cares whether you stay or go. So go and be the best you can be.

Wishing you the best.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

I'd go ahead and divorce - you wouldn't want any fallout if she gets into debt, etc. What if she didn't have enough taxes withheld and you're liable, etc. If you aren't contesting anything it will be inexpensive. Just do it. It doesn't have to be so you guys can marry others.


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## woundedwarrior (Dec 9, 2011)

Absurdist said:


> Based on your most recent thread you had finally "broken". You had come to a place of acceptance.
> 
> What happened in the last few days? Who initiated the discussion regarding separation/divorce? How did this come about?
> 
> You have been mired in "stuck" for a long time so this is a quick turn of events.


I think she finally realized that we weren't going anywhere or maybe she finally felt sorry for me, since I for some reason couldn't leave? Who knows really???
She actually initiated it, the first time she has initiated anything in years.


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## woundedwarrior (Dec 9, 2011)

EnjoliWoman said:


> I'd go ahead and divorce - you wouldn't want any fallout if she gets into debt, etc. What if she didn't have enough taxes withheld and you're liable, etc. If you aren't contesting anything it will be inexpensive. Just do it. It doesn't have to be so you guys can marry others.


You're right and I've already been thinking about this. We're done forever, so really what's the point?? 20 years down the tank!


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## woundedwarrior (Dec 9, 2011)

I just can't believe how good she is being about this, I honestly didn't want tears, because I know it's too late for us, but she shows no feeling of loss at all? As long as I'm keeping everything on a purely "to do" list level and keep my emotions out of it, I do fine, but if I stop and think how I've been easily expendable again- OUCH!

Our house goes for sale officially tonight, so I hope it sells quickly, so we can move on and put this behind us.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

It should not surprise you.

She has consistently treated you like you do not matter. Why should now be any different?


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

woundedwarrior said:


> We're finally separating for real. No more games, half in half out etc. Putting our house up for sale this weekend and already scouting out new places.
> We are being very amicable about this, which makes it better than hating each other. She believes in the whole 50/50 thing right down the line from material things to our savings etc.
> 
> We're not going to rush to divorce court, because there really isn't any point, I'll never say "I do" again, so no hurry to needlessly spend that money. We have no debt, except the house, so there won't be any financial aftermath issues.
> ...


It is a tough place, but peace will come in time.

I would not urge you to rush harder than you can. But there were lots of things I did not address as I did not have the emotional bandwidth to cope with them at the time, but I felt better once they were done. I suspect the act of divorce might be the same for you.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

I agree with EW. If you don't D you are exposed to 1/2 of the debt she incurs. If you happen to have a financial windfall, she may be entitled to 1/2. 

If she should lose her job, you may be legally responsible to support her. She may get surly in the future and make things difficult. 

There is every reason to get the D over and done.


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

I am going thru divorce that we have bot agreed upon, one which I initiated, and I too have felt those same feelings....wondering if he really ever cared, thinking I must not be worth fighting for as he seems eager to get this over with, feeling rejected all over again. I don't know your situation but the good thing here is that you guys are working together to make this final, it sure could be worse. If you reflect on the marriage, was there anything to save? Is here anything you could have done differently? You really ha to let it go because this is where you are now and going back is probably not possible. Focus on your move fwd ad the rest is managing the legal stuff.


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