# I cheated on my Beautiful Wife about to lose it all (family)



## stvector

Where do I start! I am 30 years old with a beautiful wife who is about to give birth in the next weeks…and on top I have a handsome 3 year old son as well…and I MESSED UP!!! I cheated on my wife back in Oct with a girl from work that meant nothing to me…and now my life, my marriage and family hang on a thin line that she is holding…

She has all the right in the world to throw me out, but she loves me so much and we are about to have a new baby boy born into this world aside from the 3 year old that adores me…WHAT A MESS I CREATED!!! 

It is all my fault, no doubt at all….I look at my sons eyes and just wonder how his life will be without a father!!! How my new baby boy will be raised without me, the father? My wife, she doesn’t work and was so dependent on me too….I can’t lose them, I cant allow my family to be destroyed….but its not in my hands…she has the full right to leave me for what I did…I cried, apologized, everything possible….she hasn’t decided yet…

I am crying right now in the pain I feel as I saw my wife cry, hit me with anger, saying, ´why, what did I do, I love you, why why?´ Poor her, STUPID ME for making her suffer like this…We do make mistakes, but this is one that is so great and painful I am lost in a limbo…not knowing what to do.

Last night, I even spoke to my son telling him if he never saw me again…to be a great kid, listen, grow up loving God etc…as I was ready to take my life….But how could I? How could I leave them? 

I need to SAVE MY FAMILY AND MARRIAGE!!!! Any of you going through this?

She found a video that I recorded of myself in the act, yesterday!!! IMAGINE!!! She is in so much pain; I really hurt her like nothing else in the world. I am a piece of ****, I know, I have no excuse for what I did…I never spoke to that girl again as she moved far away and after that one time, I felt so much quilt and never again did it….but it was with me and I acted cold with my wife as I had that quilt inside me burning me alive.

Last night I didn’t sleep nor did she, she lied in bed with our son crying as she said every time she closed her eyes she could see the images of me with another women…MAN, I can’t even imagine the PAIN she feels, I can’t and it kills me to see her suffer this way!!! I know, I should have thought of all this before I did what I did….but I fell…

She told her mom and my parents as well, devastated is what I must say…but she has the right as she needs to feel comfort from her family…not me as anything I say will be taken as a lie or not worthy, and she has the right to feel that way.

I am writing this as there must be people out there that have gone through this, going through this or other. I don’t want to lose my wife, 3 year old boy and my new born that will be here in the next days…I can’t believe how low I went, how stupid I was.


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## synthetic

Are you ready to endure at least 3-4 years of horrifying mood swings by your wife, constant questioning of your every move and possibly getting served with divorce papers out of the blue many years down the road?

That's what's most likely going to happen *IF* you stay remorseful and fully transparent everyday, every hour, every minute of the day for the next year or so.

Life will never be the same for you or your wife. The marriage can indeed be repaired to last (with much difficulty) *IF* your wife decides to stay in it.

I suggest you ask the moderators to move this to the Coping With Infidelity section. You'll get more help there.

Be ready to take a beating in life. That's what you've inflicted upon your wife/kid/unborn-child and the consequences can be quite long lasting.

You're not alone, but you will feel very lonely for a very long time.


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## wpr209

There is little, if anything, you can do at this point. If you wish to save your married then continue expressing your regret and to ask for forgiveness. What you did not only hurt her, you also humiliated her. All the trust you had is gone. 

Sorry to sound so bleak.


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## stvector

You are right, I did hurt her like nothing else in the world...and Yes I am willing to be with for the next 3-5 years or more trying to rebuild what I destroyed...no doubt.

As hard as it will be, and I know it will be VERY HARD to gain trust again, to make her feel secure and loved...but I dont want to lose them for nothing!!!! I love her so much, I must say she has never NEVER done anything to me remotley close...no harm to me in anyway, and I go do this.....its so painful....I am in such a mess I created and brought upon my loving and beautiful family.

But I will not give up, I cant...and as long as it takes I must work hard to make it right.


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## synthetic

Good for you.

Continue to overwhelm her with being remorseful, but don't come off as "needy". She will not give you what you need for a long time so don't even bother asking for it. Just express your regrets and make sure she knows what you are doing every single minute of the day. 

Don't start developing resentments towards her for all the coldness she shows. If you do, then you will cheat on her again.

Fill up her world with love, attention, surprises and remain remorseful. She may come around eventually.

You'll be very tired at the end of each day. You'll feel unloved, unappreciated, uncared for and lonely. None of the blame is on her. You made your bed and now you have to sleep in it until she feels like you have suffered enough.

Getting angry, defensive, demanding or suspicious will set you back all the way back to ZERO. Avoid them at all costs.


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## stvector

synthetic said:


> Good for you.
> 
> Continue to overwhelm her with being remorseful, but don't come off as "needy". She will not give you what you need for a long time so don't even bother asking for it. Just express your regrets and make sure she knows what you are doing every single minute of the day.
> 
> Don't start developing resentments towards her for all the coldness she shows. If you do, then you will cheat on her again.
> 
> Fill up her world with love, attention, surprises and remain remorseful. She may come around eventually.
> 
> You'll be very tired at the end of each day. You'll feel unloved, unappreciated, uncared for and lonely. None of the blame is on her. You made your bed and now you have to sleep in it until she feels like you have suffered enough.
> 
> Getting angry, defensive, demanding or suspicious will set you back all the way back to ZERO. Avoid them at all costs.


Thanks, those are very true examples of what I should be doing and avoiding!


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## CruxAve

Be a man, and accept whatever comes your way. If you're lucky, she will give you a shot. It was all fun and games when you were screwing around on your wife. No time for crying now. If you can't do the time, don't do the crime.


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## Badsmit

No quick fix. She may just say goodby you are going to have to be on your game for the rest of your life. Somethings change people.

Best of luck....


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## Oregondaddy

regardless of how it turns out, you can still be a good dad to your son and newborn child, and stay active throughout their life. PLEASE do not tell your child, in case you never see me again, blah blah blah. That in my view was more selfish and uncaring than the affair itself. Divorce does not mean you stop being a DAD, it does that only if you allow it to. And if you truly love your kids, you will constantly support them throughout this ordeal, make sure they know nothing that happens or is happening is their fault. Start by being a strong dad to your kids, and doing what you CAN to save your marriage. Yes you made a dreadful mistake, and it may have profound consequences, don't compound it with your kids....


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## MSP

Hang in there. It can get better.

Killing yourself will make things worse for them, no matter what you might feel right now.


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## Thewife

Okay your wife saw the images, its not going to be easy for her anytime soon and you should remember that. I agree with synthetic, that way you will have a chance. Meanwhile please please don't go around talking to your 3 year old about all these just be the dad you were always, he is not going to make sense of what is said right now and its just going to freak him out. 

Expect the best, prepare for the worst and take what comes.


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## hisfac

stvector said:


> Last night, I even spoke to my son telling him if he never saw me again…to be a great kid, listen, grow up loving God etc…as I was ready to take my life…. .


You told your 3 year old son that you were going to kill yourself?

You probably scared the bejeezus out of him to say the least.


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## Badsmit

Suggesting you are going to kill yourself will not get her back. Will show her you are not man enough to handle your situation and shows her you continue to make rash/horrible decisions when faced with tuff /difficult situations. She needs a stable level headed cool father for her two children not an emotional unstable person.. She has to worry about her marriage, the children, and now if you are going to take you own life…
YOU CAN NOT WIN HER BACK DEAD and leaving her alone to provide for your family because of your mistake is horrible. It sounds like you have some impulse control issues.


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## PaGuy

stvector said:


> Where do I start! I am 30 years old with a beautiful wife who is about to give birth in the next weeks…and on top I have a handsome 3 year old son as well…and I MESSED UP!!! I cheated on my wife back in Oct with a girl from work that meant nothing to me…and now my life, my marriage and family hang on a thin line that she is holding…
> 
> She has all the right in the world to throw me out, but she loves me so much and we are about to have a new baby boy born into this world aside from the 3 year old that adores me…WHAT A MESS I CREATED!!!
> 
> It is all my fault, no doubt at all….I look at my sons eyes and just wonder how his life will be without a father!!! How my new baby boy will be raised without me, the father? My wife, she doesn’t work and was so dependent on me too….I can’t lose them, I cant allow my family to be destroyed….but its not in my hands…she has the full right to leave me for what I did…I cried, apologized, everything possible….she hasn’t decided yet…
> 
> I am crying right now in the pain I feel as I saw my wife cry, hit me with anger, saying, ´why, what did I do, I love you, why why?´ Poor her, STUPID ME for making her suffer like this…We do make mistakes, but this is one that is so great and painful I am lost in a limbo…not knowing what to do.
> 
> Last night, I even spoke to my son telling him if he never saw me again…to be a great kid, listen, grow up loving God etc…as I was ready to take my life….But how could I? How could I leave them?
> 
> I need to SAVE MY FAMILY AND MARRIAGE!!!! Any of you going through this?
> 
> She found a video that I recorded of myself in the act, yesterday!!! IMAGINE!!! She is in so much pain; I really hurt her like nothing else in the world. I am a piece of ****, I know, I have no excuse for what I did…I never spoke to that girl again as she moved far away and after that one time, I felt so much quilt and never again did it….but it was with me and I acted cold with my wife as I had that quilt inside me burning me alive.
> 
> Last night I didn’t sleep nor did she, she lied in bed with our son crying as she said every time she closed her eyes she could see the images of me with another women…MAN, I can’t even imagine the PAIN she feels, I can’t and it kills me to see her suffer this way!!! I know, I should have thought of all this before I did what I did….but I fell…
> 
> She told her mom and my parents as well, devastated is what I must say…but she has the right as she needs to feel comfort from her family…not me as anything I say will be taken as a lie or not worthy, and she has the right to feel that way.
> 
> I am writing this as there must be people out there that have gone through this, going through this or other. I don’t want to lose my wife, 3 year old boy and my new born that will be here in the next days…I can’t believe how low I went, how stupid I was.


aww Man ! I feel for you.. temptation is tough, straightening things out is tougher. Good luck


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## Stonewall

The best thing you can do at this point is eat a lot of humble pie! You have lost all moral authority and will have to put up with whatever comes your way from her for quite a while.

I hope you learn from this. Being a ***** dog is not the way you act when married. 

Control Luke you must learn control. Don't go to the dark side!


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## NextTimeAround

****She found a video that I recorded of myself in the act, yesterday!!! IMAGINE!!! She is in so much pain; I really hurt her like nothing else in the world. I am a piece of ****, I know, I have no excuse for what I did…****

I am trying to understand the mindset(s) of cheater(s).

What made you decide to video tape yourself in the act?

Where did your wife find the video? Did you think that that was a safe place to hide it or did you not care where you left it?

What motivated you to have the affair with this coworker? Did you think she was hot? Was she coming on to you? Were you two in a situation in which you felt if you said no to her advances it would " feel as if you were being rude to her"? (excuses that my ex would use....on his EAs in any case)


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## Ayla

You're a parent...suicide is NOT an option. Please don't add the destruction of your children's emotional and mental health to the list by killing yourself. Think about it: My dad cheated on my mom but he tried his best to save the family vs. My dad cheated on my mom and then he was too selfish and cowardly to try and make it right. Never abandon your children.


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## SimplyAmorous

It sounds like your wife truly loves you.... if you continue as you are, and she feels your heart every day, every hour, I believe you will be a changed man, she will eventually be able to forgive you from her heart.... but it is going to take some time for a full healing here, *you must understand something truly sacred has been lost forever *.... those images has been burned into her psyche.... 

Sometimes it takes a heart ripping experience of shame for some to turn around & forsake their ways... this is your moment... it is a blessing you were caught - so now you can see & experience the devestation of what this can do to the woman you love, the mother of your children.... I seriously doubt you'll ever tread this road again... you've learned a hard hard lesson here- one that could cost you everything.....

You have choices here. Taking your life will only cause your wife & children a hole in their hearts for an ETERNITY living on this earth, this is never the answer. 

BE that changed man, bend over backwards to make this up to her, to show her you want her more than life itself. That your sorrow is real. 

Even the best of people do assinine things. Though this was a real dousy ! 

Sometimes I feel those who have sunk the lowest are the ones who hate what they did more vehemently than anyone else...... if your wife feels this from you deeply .. I think you & her have the opportunity for a very beautiful future. 

Order a copy of this today and live this before her ... it's a good starting point...

Amazon.com: The Love Dare (9780805448856): Stephen Kendrick, Alex Kendrick: Books

Be a student of learning on how to build a healthy marraige and life... Many excellent books for you to pick up...

Amazon.com: His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage Fifteenth Anniversary Edition (9780800717889): Willard F. Harley Jr.: Books

Amazon.com: How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair: A Compact Manual for the Unfaithful (9781450553322): Linda J. MacDonald: Books


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## RDL

Hello, 

If I may suggest a slightly different course of action with a slightly different context. 

The context is that of the human sexual behaviour. It seems that both men and women have a natural curiosity to experience new partners. It also seems that this curiosity does not disappear in relation to their long term relationship. Simply put, even in a balanced fulfilling long term relationship the curiosity exists for both partners. 

This curiosity seems to be more visible in men and more often acted upon. This likely has to do with the way the male sexual instinct develops. Men have the natural desire to bed/conquer/inseminate as many women as they can. 

In your case you acted on your sexual instinct and your curiosity without your wife's knowledge or consent and therefore hurt her.
As with the above posters I suggest you are apologetic for the hurt you caused. 

In order to give you optimal chances to save your marriage I suggest that while you need to be apologetic for the hurt you caused you need to do so in a balanced manner. Your attitude needs to be "I made a mistake, I assume the consequences, I can handle the results". You want to avoid begging and needy behaviour as this will add lowering attraction to the hurt she feels for what she perceives as loss of connection. It is likely that she married you because she felt a healthy combination between connection, affection and attraction to you. A confident balanced person makes mistakes, assumes responsibility for them and proceeds to address them all the while never loosing confidence and faith in his abilities. 

Now usually what hurts in the instance of cheating is that she perceives it as a loss of affection. You no longer love her else you would not have cheated. In fact you followed your curiosity and sexual instinct and most likely you did not loose any affection for your wife. 

Given that this curiosity is present in both men and women couples currently have the following options to deal with it: 

- they suppress it
- open relationship
- cheating
- swinging

Your mistake was cheating therefore hurting. For the future you need to see which of the options best suits you and your wife. 

I strongly suggest you have the courage and confidence to address the issue openly with your wife. Throwing yourself at her mercy and giving her the initiative is not the optimal choice. She is even more confused than you are and likely does not know how to deal with this. You broke it you deal with it.


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## stvector

Thank you for all your support and advice...it means the world to hear what many of you have gone through and what steps I must take as well.

Last night her aunts came over to comfort her, which I am thankful she has such a loving family to do so...I was there and stayed in my room...as I couldnt bare to face them for I did...

This morning I awoke to talk to my wife, as her aunts where in the other room talking to her mom via Skype (as she lives in another country) and well we held each, cried, she showed anger and kept asking WHY WHY, she would blame herself, saying she was preg. and not pretty...

I made sure she knew and I asked her to NEVER blame herself for what I did, as she did NOTHING to hurt me...it was me that made this mistake, I created this, I destroyed us...and now I must stand up and take whatever comes my way....but that I dont want to LOSE THEM...if it means years of hurt and working to make things better, I WILL!!!

She then cried more, held me and told me she loves me....but then at moments she would change and I know she would visualize the images again and feel such PAIN and tell me, she doesnt think she can ever forgive me..and to be with me and not forgive??? But then it would go back and forth..I know she must be going through so much pain and mixed emotions...so I am in no way angry at all...I just want to be their for her in everyway possible.

I never told my son I would take my life, NEVER...i did just hold in my arms and assured him my love and that I would always be here for him, that I did something wrong and mommy is sad...but not to worry.....That I would never leave his side...I cried though, and I wonder how that must hurt him or confuse him in some way to see his Dad, a man cry like a baby as I dont want to lose him....

This is so hard, but I cant try to be a victim here...I did this to us and I must now try to make things right...doesnt matter which route my wife decieds to go....

Thanks again everyone for your support and advice!


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## anna garret 01

There can be reconcillation after an affair. Have you cut ties with the other woman? You spoke to your son about God, do you know of a church/pastor that can help counsel you and your wife through the long walk of forgiveness and healing? You need to change your character. People all the time say they can't change but a person CAN change their character. She needs to see ACTIONS of CHANGE not words. Words won't work anymore. If your wife allows, your marriage can be stronger than you will ever know.....you are not alone in this dark walk.. God is a God of new beginnings......

Prayers for you and your family


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## stvector

anna garret 01 said:


> There can be reconcillation after an affair. Have you cut ties with the other woman? You spoke to your son about God, do you know of a church/pastor that can help counsel you and your wife through the long walk of forgiveness and healing? You need to change your character. People all the time say they can't change but a person CAN change their character. She needs to see ACTIONS of CHANGE not words. Words won't work anymore. If your wife allows, your marriage can be stronger than you will ever know.....you are not alone in this dark walk.. God is a God of new beginnings......
> 
> Prayers for you and your family


Yes I am meeting a pastor now to actually confess what I did, so somehow we can get some counsil....


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## anna garret 01

stvector said:


> Yes I am meeting a pastor now to actually confess what I did, so somehow we can get some counsil....


Thank goodness, Do not loose hope, but be very, very sensitive to your beloved. When she pledged her life and faithfulness to you on her wedding day, she believed in you with all her heart....Women are so much creatures of the heart and that is a good thing. Become your wifes servant, love her as Christ loves his Church...Don't stop getting help...Become your wifes beloved servant......Prayers for your family........


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## canary12

Hi, STVector. 

While your situation is incredibly difficult, I really think there is hope for you two! I'm so glad you've made an appointment with a Pastor, and hope you will also get connected with a professional counselor who can help you through individual issues, as well as help you mend your relationship as a couple. Your pastor may have some good recommendations for you. I work for Focus on the Family, and we also have a counseling number you can call to get referrals, or to speak with a counselor (for free). If that interests you, the number is 851-771-4357. 

SimplyAmorous gave some great book recommendations, too....I agree that the Love Dare might be a great starting point....just daily types of activies you can do to rebuild trust and show your love and commitment to your wife. Especially with a new baby on the way, your wife will need all the affirmation and love you can give her. It may be difficult for her to receive at times, but you seem to have the desire to work on this wholeheartedly.

I know of many couples who have persevered through unfaithfulness and come out with marriages that are even stronger than before. I sincerely hope that will be the case with you.....my prayers are with you! Hang in there!!


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## SadieBrown

Oregondaddy said:


> regardless of how it turns out, you can still be a good dad to your son and newborn child, and stay active throughout their life. PLEASE do not tell your child, in case you never see me again, blah blah blah. That in my view was more selfish and uncaring than the affair itself. Divorce does not mean you stop being a DAD, it does that only if you allow it to. And if you truly love your kids, you will constantly support them throughout this ordeal, make sure they know nothing that happens or is happening is their fault. Start by being a strong dad to your kids, and doing what you CAN to save your marriage. Yes you made a dreadful mistake, and it may have profound consequences, don't compound it with your kids....



:iagree::iagree::iagree:

That was a really bad thing to say to your son. You were obviously feeling sorry for yourself at that moment. Well you don't get to feel sorry for yourself for a mess you made. You just need to be the best father and husband you can be. And consider yourself lucky she hasn't kicked you out already - a lot of women would have after leaning about the affair. And many more women would have kicked you out after finding the tape. Why did you keep that thing?


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## Nala2012

May i ask you a question? If everything was perfect and she's an amazing wife... beautiful... why did you do it?

What went through your head to make you feel that's what you wanted to do? I'm just curious. I had an affair 5yrs ago but my marriage was a mess, i looked for comfort, companionship...

I'm not judging you i am genuinely curious as to what made you decide to do it.


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## WhereAmI

You need to tell your wife the full truth, no matter how painful it is. If you told her the same story you gave here I'm sure she'll get rid of you. A person who feels guilt after having an affair doesn't keep a video of the act. There was a reason you kept that video and she deserves to know it. I sense some trickle truth in the future. You're going to damage her on an even more painful level if you don't share the entire story ASAP.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ilovemyhubby

Your baby is due soon and this is not good for your baby all the stress. You need to try to talk with your wife and keep telling her your sorry it is nothing she did and tell her she is beautiful and great mom. I know of two people who did this one is divorced and the other repaired their relationship. keep trying remember you need to let her know it is not her fault it is all you.


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## golfergirl

stvector said:


> Where do I start! I am 30 years old with a beautiful wife who is about to give birth in the next weeks…and on top I have a handsome 3 year old son as well…and I MESSED UP!!! I cheated on my wife back in Oct with a girl from work that meant nothing to me…and now my life, my marriage and family hang on a thin line that she is holding…
> 
> She has all the right in the world to throw me out, but she loves me so much and we are about to have a new baby boy born into this world aside from the 3 year old that adores me…WHAT A MESS I CREATED!!!
> 
> It is all my fault, no doubt at all….I look at my sons eyes and just wonder how his life will be without a father!!! How my new baby boy will be raised without me, the father? My wife, she doesn’t work and was so dependent on me too….I can’t lose them, I cant allow my family to be destroyed….but its not in my hands…she has the full right to leave me for what I did…I cried, apologized, everything possible….she hasn’t decided yet…
> 
> I am crying right now in the pain I feel as I saw my wife cry, hit me with anger, saying, ´why, what did I do, I love you, why why?´ Poor her, STUPID ME for making her suffer like this…We do make mistakes, but this is one that is so great and painful I am lost in a limbo…not knowing what to do.
> 
> Last night, I even spoke to my son telling him if he never saw me again…to be a great kid, listen, grow up loving God etc…as I was ready to take my life….But how could I? How could I leave them?
> 
> I need to SAVE MY FAMILY AND MARRIAGE!!!! Any of you going through this?
> 
> She found a video that I recorded of myself in the act, yesterday!!! IMAGINE!!! She is in so much pain; I really hurt her like nothing else in the world. I am a piece of ****, I know, I have no excuse for what I did…I never spoke to that girl again as she moved far away and after that one time, I felt so much quilt and never again did it….but it was with me and I acted cold with my wife as I had that quilt inside me burning me alive.
> 
> Last night I didn’t sleep nor did she, she lied in bed with our son crying as she said every time she closed her eyes she could see the images of me with another women…MAN, I can’t even imagine the PAIN she feels, I can’t and it kills me to see her suffer this way!!! I know, I should have thought of all this before I did what I did….but I fell…
> 
> She told her mom and my parents as well, devastated is what I must say…but she has the right as she needs to feel comfort from her family…not me as anything I say will be taken as a lie or not worthy, and she has the right to feel that way.
> 
> I am writing this as there must be people out there that have gone through this, going through this or other. I don’t want to lose my wife, 3 year old boy and my new born that will be here in the next days…I can’t believe how low I went, how stupid I was.


I really dislike people who on the surface 'accept' the blame for their sick actions, but all you read when you dig deep is 'wah poor me, I hurt so bad!'. Sorry but screw you. It isn't about poor you. You are in your pain due to your dumb ass choices, your wife is in her pain due to circumstances beyond her control. Her husband banged someone else while she is carrying his child.
On top of that, you talk to your son about never seeing you again?
Get a grip. When this becomes about someone else other than you, maybe your marriage stands a chance. When your focus is understanding why, fixing yourself and mending your damage, maybe your marriage stands a chance.
Right now, all I read is how YOU want things and you know what buddy, it's not about you anymore.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gonefishin

I do not understand you. In your original post you had a conversation with your son that is three years old. You told him if he never sees you again to be good and so on.
First suggestion, start acting like an adult. Your the father of these two children and no matter what happens to your marriage your two children will want their dad in their lives. This is not a take all or nothing situation.
As far as the affair, you actually video taped the event? I think before you work on your marriage you need to get some individual therapy. Does the OW know you video taped this? You sound a little screwed up. It just so happens that a video is just laying around for your wife to find?? I do not think any of your actions were a just a moment in lack of judgement. This sounds like you went out of your way to hurt your wife. Now you are taking it one step further by telling a three year old he may never see his father again.


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## Therealbrighteyes

If anybody believes this story, please Google the word gullible. 
Really? You felt so guilty that you kept the video of your cheating for nearly 6 months? Whatever.

In other news, I'm the Queen of England.


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## KJ5000

synthetic said:


> Are you ready to endure at least 3-4 years of horrifying mood swings by your wife, constant questioning of your every move and possibly getting served with divorce papers out of the blue many years down the road?
> 
> That's what's most likely going to happen *IF* you stay remorseful and fully transparent everyday, every hour, every minute of the day for the next year or so.
> 
> Life will never be the same for you or your wife. The marriage can indeed be repaired to last (with much difficulty) *IF* your wife decides to stay in it.
> 
> I suggest you ask the moderators to move this to the Coping With Infidelity section. You'll get more help there.
> 
> Be ready to take a beating in life. That's what you've inflicted upon your wife/kid/unborn-child and the consequences can be quite long lasting.
> 
> You're not alone, but you will feel very lonely for a very long time.


Excellent answer!


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## southern wife

Therealbrighteyes said:


> If anybody believes this story, please Google the word gullible.
> Really? You felt so guilty that you kept the video of your cheating for nearly 6 months? Whatever.
> 
> In other news, I'm the Queen of England.


:lol: :lol: :rofl: :rofl:

Don't you know that everything you read and hear IS TRUE?


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## Honeystly

I know it's been a while, but what has happened? Did your wife stay with you? Read my first post ever under my profile if you want to know why I ask.


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## bribrius

stvector said:


> Where do I start! I am 30 years old with a beautiful wife who is about to give birth in the next weeks…and on top I have a handsome 3 year old son as well…and I MESSED UP!!! I cheated on my wife back in Oct with a girl from work that meant nothing to me…and now my life, my marriage and family hang on a thin line that she is holding…
> 
> She has all the right in the world to throw me out, but she loves me so much and we are about to have a new baby boy born into this world aside from the 3 year old that adores me…WHAT A MESS I CREATED!!!
> 
> It is all my fault, no doubt at all….I look at my sons eyes and just wonder how his life will be without a father!!! How my new baby boy will be raised without me, the father? My wife, she doesn’t work and was so dependent on me too….I can’t lose them, I cant allow my family to be destroyed….but its not in my hands…she has the full right to leave me for what I did…I cried, apologized, everything possible….she hasn’t decided yet…
> 
> I am crying right now in the pain I feel as I saw my wife cry, hit me with anger, saying, ´why, what did I do, I love you, why why?´ Poor her, STUPID ME for making her suffer like this…We do make mistakes, but this is one that is so great and painful I am lost in a limbo…not knowing what to do.
> 
> Last night, I even spoke to my son telling him if he never saw me again…to be a great kid, listen, grow up loving God etc…as I was ready to take my life….But how could I? How could I leave them?
> 
> I need to SAVE MY FAMILY AND MARRIAGE!!!! Any of you going through this?
> 
> She found a video that I recorded of myself in the act, yesterday!!! IMAGINE!!! She is in so much pain; I really hurt her like nothing else in the world. I am a piece of ****, I know, I have no excuse for what I did…I never spoke to that girl again as she moved far away and after that one time, I felt so much quilt and never again did it….but it was with me and I acted cold with my wife as I had that quilt inside me burning me alive.
> 
> Last night I didn’t sleep nor did she, she lied in bed with our son crying as she said every time she closed her eyes she could see the images of me with another women…MAN, I can’t even imagine the PAIN she feels, I can’t and it kills me to see her suffer this way!!! I know, I should have thought of all this before I did what I did….but I fell…
> 
> She told her mom and my parents as well, devastated is what I must say…but she has the right as she needs to feel comfort from her family…not me as anything I say will be taken as a lie or not worthy, and she has the right to feel that way.
> 
> I am writing this as there must be people out there that have gone through this, going through this or other. I don’t want to lose my wife, 3 year old boy and my new born that will be here in the next days…I can’t believe how low I went, how stupid I was.


yep. that was pretty stupid.


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## Almostrecovered

OP hasnt been on since 2/10, doubt he's coming back


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## Honeystly

pity..... I would love to have heard the other side of the story completely.... at least he regretted it....


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## 22989278

Hi stvector,

I am 29 and am going through exactly the same situation, we have completed 2 years of our marriage and have son who is going to be a year old in 3rd Oct.We had love affair for 4 years until we married.
I was at my bedroom on my laptop and my wife suddenly bursts in and tells me to shut down whatever i was doing in laptop.Then she shows me a video from my mobile phone and starts confronting me regarding who i was with on the video,where i was getting undressed with a girl. I had no sensible word to tell her then, she was so mad and hurt that i got few painful slaps and kicks from her.It was the same day when her mother had visited us and was in the sitting room watching tv holding our son.She came running and when she saw that video she started crying and rung her husband at that moment who was out of city then due to some business.My father and mother and my younger sister were rung too.
Till this time i could not believe this was happening to me, i was numb on repeated questions on why i did this.
The Video was taken accidentally , as i am from India sometimes there are lack of electricity due to too much of power consumption.In the video i am in a room with with a girl whom i gave a lift in my car where later on while speaking to her realized she was a callgirl and offered me a service for some money and took me to some place in slum area which i cannot now recall as i had not focused on driving or the directions as i was more focused on her.She takes me to her place and i see that there is no electricity its dark and very hot and humid.That was the time when i turned on my mobile phone camera lights to beat the dark , where in the video i am undressing myself and unhooking her clothes and ready for physical relationship where i asked her if she has protection(c....m) with her where she says no and asks me to get down the road a bring it but then the video ends, actually after that i wore my clothes and i thought i heard someone coming , humid weather and no protection.I left the place without actually having physical relationship.It never came to my mind that video had been recorded in my mobile while using light.
I love my wife and my son more than anything.She is beautiful and she would never do this to me.She prays regularly and very righteous and God fearing person.She loves me and very possessive about me.
Its been 2 days since this incident i pleaded her to forgive me where says she cant forgive me.She also says If in case she would forgive me she would not be able to trust me again.I am so scared that i would loose her and my son.I cant leave without them, i cried a lot like a child holding my year old son.I asked for forgiveness and genuinely.
Now, i am at my parents place as her mom requested me to give her some space so i left my wife and her mom and my son at my place and i am at my parents place.
I told her the whole story but she doesn't believe what happened after that video ends.She thinks i had s.. with that call girl.But looking at the situation i am in video anyone would think so.
I had a talk with her parents and i asked them for once change to win her trust back in fact everyone's whom i have hurt.I am to give her time for few months for her to recover but yes i will visit my son once in a while in this period.I am willing to be her servant do anything i need to do to be back with my family.
I love my wife a lot.I cant imagine living my life without my son and my wife.I am remorseful and from my heart i know i would never again fall into any temptations which could bring me into this kind of situation.
At this point of time i need help on how to with my wifes trust, me saying sorry ,would not change anything.She might forgive me but how can she erase that image from her mind.I have changed my heart completely but how could she know.I am a cronic cigarette smoker(i always think i cannot stop, and she knows) so i am thinking to quit smoking to prove her that i can change and start exercising which i never did when she wanted me to.Please, give me advice on how i can win her trust back.
I apologize for inconvenience set to any and all due to my poor English.Hoping for your responses.


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