# I need help - missing my 8 year old daughter



## andrew0001 (Aug 18, 2013)

Hi all,
I am devastated , physically and emotionally drained,
it almost feels like my life has ended, I find no more purpose or drive to live, my daughter was and is my everything to me...
I am facing a separation after 15 years of common law with the mother of my child, our relations ship has been great but there were ups and downs and I think every relation ship carries these,
and when both sides remain intelligent enough to resolve the issues by speaking / talking to each other or perhaps attend professional counseling in order to resolve the problems and work against them, my I call her wife decided to go away for a visit taking my little girl with her for a month while visiting family 1400 kms away in Victoria BC.
Prior her secrecy preplanned trip out there she had ran up my master card that I gave her to the maximum limit of $2500 dollars, she has had a bad credit all her life and this is the reason I gave her my secondary master card just in case of an emergency if I wasn't home and she needed money.., I found out shes spent all the money on coffees, taco bell, McDonalds and etc, she had been making payments every month but she was spending twice that much.
I have found out about the status of my card when it reached limit, she had been hiding the statements that were coming by mail and i thought I could trust her as I thought she was a responsible person, in the mean time my father had asked me last year to make a savings account for my daughter hes in his 60's still working hard and living away on the east coast of Canada where we live in the west , hes been putting money away to my kids savings account and I never thought anything of that and one day I looked up and there was 1700 dollars which I was surprised as hes not a wealthy person, I was very grateful to my dad for that and I was quite surprised but he loves his grand daughter too..
Whats unfortunate is that my wife had also an access card to my daughters account, after my master card been ran up by my wife I decided to check the status of my daughters account and already there was 300 dollars missing , can you believe it...., I was devastated my wife whom I had been for over 15 years not only ran up the card I trusted her to have but also took money from my daughters account , come on how low can some one get ... you spouse a person you should 100% trust turns out to be a scavenger ..... praying on her kids savings account, well that was enough.
I have confronted her about all this in anger , believe me its not the money that matters , what matters is my trust and kindness and the kindness of my father, shes broke every rule that I stand for..., I am an honest man and I treat others with respect and here someone under your own roof someone who is supposed to be the most trusted person in my heart, my daughters mother ..., what my friends call it she stole the money , she stole the money from me and stole the money from her own daughter... I was mad and I confronted her saying how low could she get, asked if she was not embarrassed of her actions and told her that this is the lowest a parent can go...
She had apologized for that saying this got out of control and she will pay everything back, however she hardly makes any money at all working only a silly retail part time job..., shes unable to save 50 dollars a month, but yet shes gonna pay over $3000 dollars that she owes... SHe had no sense of guiltiness , she simply said Im sorry , kind of when you spill a cup of juice on the carpet.... What hurts me in my heart is the trust breach...
After that I had not spoken to her for a week , maybe that was wrong of me, but I was simply unhappy with her at that time...,
I was gonna explain on the following day that I was gonna pay this all off , after all this is just money and it can be earned,
and this is the time that I hear shes going to BC for a whole month with my child, I asked her where did she get the money to buy the train tickets, she simply replied she borrowed that from my daughters saving account and she swears she will pay it off right after she returns... I was looking at her in disbelieve,
but I did not want to argue farther...
Shes been gone to her sisters place and its been 2 weeks, she had avoided talking to me as every time I called she would pass the phone to my child..., well the other day she sent me an e-mail that she decided to stay there and separate...

I am devastated , I feel like someone took the life out of me,
I miss my daughter so much , I have a condo , all the walls are full of pictures of my kid, her room is all pretty just the way she left it waiting for her return...,
I don't know what to do I have been weeping every day missing my child, I can not concentrate on anything other than to think of my little girl, I also miss my wife , shes not the worst person, she has also a great personality and I still love her and miss her dearly...,
I'm originally from europe I dont have any family here in Canada
as I am alone, I have great friends and my father lives even farther east, I see him only once in a while...
How can I go on with my life if this is the end, I am 40 years old and honestly I don't want a new start, I want to be a part of my family that's all I have and that's all that is most important to me my daughter / my wife...
I am hoping for her return as she has a return ticked for the end of this month, but from the e-mails I have received I no longer have a clue as what she will do.
I had been weeping everyday as soon as I wake up I miss my little girl running up to me and giving me hugs, it breaks my heart, I'm sitting in the living room waiting and watching my gate to open and see my daughter and her mom walking in..., this is so precious to me, this means the world to me...
I am sorry for my rant but I dont have anyone to truly express my feelings and this is how I feel.
Please help , any advice I'll get I'll take it with appreciation..

thanks,

Andrew


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## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

Get her name off your daughter's savings account. Cancel her credit card and hire a lawyer.

I know it sounds harsh but she's taking advantage. You need to protect you and your daughter's best interests now.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Can you see a lawyer about your legal rights? In the US, you can get a court order restricting the custodial parent from moving the child a predetermed distance from you. I am certain there is a similar law in Canada.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## andrew0001 (Aug 18, 2013)

thanks,a

I already cancelled the master card, she has re-issued herself a new card to my kids savings account I tried to look at the account last night at the banking machine however it said my card is no longer valid, we had 2 cards to access that saving account, I will be at the bank on Monday and see how much more money she has drawn..., I am still willing to forgive her under conditions.., I care so much for my child and I want her to be raised in a functional mammy/daddy family and have my child call what we have a home with 2 loving parents..., I had been raised by my mother only as my parents divorced when I was 10, I don't want my child to face the same challenges I had to face when my dad left for Canada and I haven't seen him in 8 years, I missed him every day when I was growing up however both my parents were unable to resolve their differences..., I think I can we all live in an intelligent world with people speaking the same language and can compromise for the sake of their own and the most important sake of their kids, I see it that once you have a child you need to do what ever it takes to have them grown in a stable loving and caring family..., I missed that when I was growing up and that is the last thing I want my little daughter to have to experience...
Regarding contacting a lawyer I think that will be the last resort when I will exhaust all the possible resolutions to my situation. Right now the hardest thing is me missing my child,
I am surrounded by her pictures , drawings, her pets and all the toys, and having her missing is so painful...
Im not a weak individual but this can put a strongest man on his back and make him cry like a little girl.


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## Morgiana (Oct 18, 2011)

A,
What the mother of your daughter did by moving away like that seems really bizarre. Without knowing all the particulars of what's going on, your best bet is to hire an attorney. Like Catherine said, in the US there are all sorts of laws surrounding how far someone can move, withholding access to children from the other parent, etc. She could be forced by the court to bring your daughter back, or lose her entirely.

As much as it hurts right now, it doesn't mean it's forever. Do what you need to do to protect yourself and your daughter's right to have both parents in her life.


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