# just cant move out yet



## prayingforhelp (Apr 7, 2015)

I want a divorce but cannot afford it at this time. I got a new credit card but didn't get a high enough limit to pay for a lawyer. I started a secret savings account with expense checks from work for starter money on a place to live. I talked to a lawyer. There are no apartments in the same elementary school district for my daughter and that was the number one thing she recommended.

I am in an unloving, abusive relationship with my wife of 12 years. I want to take the ring she gave me and put it on her phone and her mom's finger. Because that is who she is married to now.

I have been hit twice while driving with our 6 year old daughter in the backseat. The second time it happened I got cuts on my face and arms and we almost wrecked because I told her I wanted to record our conversation. My daughter hits me because she said she wants to be like mommy.

No sex since my daughter was conceived.

Her mom rules the family. All her family is within 45 minutes of us. All my family is 500 miles away. Over a month, we see them 18 days, and eat dinner with them most times. The last vacation where it was just us was our honeymoon. I have been to Florida to see my parents and family 4 times in 12 years. 

The latest episode: My cousin is getting married in May, 500 miles away. It would require leaving on Thurs night or Fri morning and returning Sunday. My wife does not want to go because my kindergarten daughter would miss her a t-ball game. I think she is being ridiculous. I rarely get to see them. 

There is no equal say or no discussion. If she is wrong, and I point it out to her, she gets mad. When I am wrong, I am constantly reminded of it every single argument.

I feel I am hopeless and constantly depressed about it.

What do I do?


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## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

Ask your family for help. Start doing things on your own. Work out, reaffirm yourself of your good qualities. If you get a hold of a lawyer , ask advice on what you can do to gather evidence. Let calls from her go to voice mail, save her texts, it will be helpful when it comes to your divorce, and child custody.

Be cook and neutral around her.

You should start rebuilding your self esteem.

Do not let her catch on to what you are doing. You want to get all your ducks in a row before going on the offensive. Pretend your playing poker and keep your cards close.


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## Malpheous (May 3, 2013)

Let me ask a question and make a recommendation?

Question: Why do you feel the need to move out? Prepare, but why?

Recommendation: Look into recording laws for your state. One-Party vs Two-Party. Consider a personal voice recorder in your pocket to help protect you form a false DV charge. Stay in the home until a court order tells you that you must leave. If the police come for DV and you're not arrested and she is found to be the root, suggest she be the one to leave. The child stays int eh family/marital home. If she flees with Dear Daughter(DD6) you should, lawyer, emergency motion return, emergency motion exclusive use of home, emergency temp custody order. She hits you enough to prove and document, you call the police, file a report, charges and temp protection order. During the temp protection order hearing your lawyer should be able to present and motion for a temp custody agreement with a 30-day review.

Start doing homework.

Gather important documents. Secure them in a quality combination lock safe.

Learn to separate emotion from reaction.

Radio silence.

Document her poor behavior as well as your SuperDad behavior.


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## Natthewife (Jun 16, 2014)

I'd get out as soon as possible. There's nothing I hate more than an abusive partner especially one who can act like that in front of their child who will end up screwed because of it. How she will feel and treat relationships as an adult is being taught to her by what she's sees as a child. You both have no idea what damage your causing her in the long run.


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## Sandie (Mar 31, 2015)

So then you go to the wedding yourself!


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