# Separated and daughter coming between us



## Jeepgirl13 (Aug 6, 2013)

I am currently separated from my husband for over a month now. I left because I needed to be on my own. I've never been on my own before. I was going to go back but was just informed that his daughter and her family will be moving in. His daughter and I don't get along. She talks about me behind my back and treats me like trash. Well his plan is for us to stay separated until his daughter gets on her feet. He says that he will give her a year. To me, that is way too long a time. She stayed with us before and I was completly miserable. I want to be married but I don't know how this can work. He wants to go on dates and stuff but I don't know if i can keep it up for a year.


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## Jeepgirl13 (Aug 6, 2013)

I read a lot on these boards and was hoping for some advice. or at least a response.


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## anja (Mar 12, 2013)

I have to say up front that I'm a step mother and have a very strained relationship with my step daughter, although she's only 13. My response is therefor biased.

You wanted to be alone and now you got your wish. I believe your best bet is to live out the year to the fullest. Catch up with old friends. Find a new hobby or two and join a book club. Volunteer at your church, if you have one. Take a trip to see your family, if you can afford to do so.

This year might turn into 18 months. It's wonderful that he helps his daughter, and it's predictable of her to move in and be the woman of the house before the door has closed behind you. You need to figure out if he is worth hanging in there for a year. If he is, then fill up that time, so you don't sit around waiting. You might find that your opinion changes with time, even more then once.

I would not fight this, I would let him find his misery himself. If he does. he might want to cut the year short, and you are the bigger person. If he doesn't, he will have a great year with his daughter and grand kids. That's great for him and great for the kids.


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