# Some things are still eating me up...



## Forsaken (Feb 14, 2011)

There is just a lot that has gone on with my Ws EA(s) and some open ended things just eat at me. I feel like maybe it was a PA as well because my wife told me about how once when she went over to the OMs house they were watching a movie and talking and she just broke down crying to him. I don't know maybe I'm just crazy now, but I feel like something else happened though she swears up and down that nothing physical ever happened.

I just see that situation as being an opening for a kiss/makeout session or something because lets face it, a guy in the OMs position sees this woman crying and is upset about her marriage and being vulnerable and he probably saw this as an open invitation. Like I said she swears up and down that nothing physical ever happened but after all the lies, deceit and secrecy I can't help but feel like I've been lied to about everything.

I know that I will never really know the whole truth of everything that happened and I guess that's why things like this are eating me up. It's been 9 months and I'm still beating myself up and having thoughts about all of this everyday. We tried MC and IC and nothing has seemed to help.


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## tummy2 (Jul 26, 2011)

Sorry forsaken... It is terrible, but I can almost guarantee that you will never know the whole truth of what did transpire unless you can get it out of her. Unless you have the ability to find some hard evidence, or you can somehow trick her into thinking you know more than what she is telling you.... she might open up... Also, you can try searching her phone for deleted text messages etc.... That might help you find something hard.... Theres something called an iphone spy tool... if she has an iphone you could see her deleted text messages... Usually people do not realize that what is deleted is never truly deleted........

I personally have gotten to be an expert at snooping... Which sucks.. but, Keyloggers, Email passwords, spy tools, call history, probing etc...


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## ConfusedGirl3876 (Jul 27, 2011)

I think this is were the issue of trust comes in. When I decided to stay with H after EA I knew I had to believe what he said was true in order for me to move forward with my relationship with him.

It didn't turn out good in my situation cause it was PA. It took him like 3 months to tell me the full truth but he did and it was on his own without me begging for it. I don't regret trusting him again cause I owed it to myself to commit to R and I held my end but he didn't.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jessi (Feb 11, 2009)

hi there forsaken, 

I think the reason you must still be feeling this way is because your wife is not meeting your needs the right way, do you have th e book surviving an affair?
Maybe the two of you could read and have a calm discussion about your insecurities and why there must be something still missing......if she was filling all your emotional needs and following a good marriage plan you wouldn't still be insecure.
Just a thought ....It couldn't hurt......It will teach both of you to protect the other from the pains of an affair.....
I know it's hard, but what difference does it make really, would you divorce her if it were true? Would you still forgive her and want to work on the marriage, the answer is probably yes so work at what is wrong together.........
remember it's just a little bump in the road that can be repaired as is each problem along the way.


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