# Confused



## [email protected] (Jun 28, 2015)

I have posted on here before. Please - no rude comments or judging. I just need some help. My husband became addicted to a dating site. He met this 26 year old. Its a Ukraine site and shes there. Hes been over 3 times to meet her. Life with him became unbearable, I asked him to leave. This was not an easy decision and one which took me many months to decide, with the help of a councillor. He was skyping her morning, noon and night and I couldnt live like that. He says the problem all started with our sex life and blames it all in that. I know we had problems in that area...him wanting too much and me the complete opposite. He has been gone 4 months and says when the time is right, he will return. I, in the mean time, must just wait ! He says I kicked him out and now I ask when he is returning ! Yes, I would like him back as we can work the problem out but he says I wont change. Doesnt one love unconditionally ? Theres more to this story but too long to tell. I have now told him it looks as tho he doesnt want to be married and is settled quite nicely in a hotel, not far from me. We live with my son and I also feel he needs to apologise to him for what he has put us all thru. Again, I got the, when the time is right. But I said to him, yes , yu made a mistake but just say sorry and move on but here lies the problem..he doesnt feel as tho he HAS made a mistake and doesnt seem remorseful for what hes done. Any comments would be appreciated. Thank you and sorry for the long post.


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

Read up on the 180. It will serve you well.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Sounds done?

Don't be in limbo, walk away. Try again with more understanding.

Find someone you are compatible with.

This guy should have divorced you not started cheating.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Please check your private messages. You seem to make a new account every time you want to post. This is not allowed.

You need to remember this new account because the next moderator might ban you if you create another account.

ETA: I have banned your other two accounts. Here are the links to your other threads.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/ladies-lounge/191978-line-dating-site.html

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/208138-dating-site.html


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

No, adults do not love unconditionally. In marriage there are times when you need to protect yourself.

You have been dealing with this mess for over a years. It's time for you to move on. 

Look at the link in my signature block below for the 180. This is how you need to be interacting with him.

And then go file for divorce. 

Also, please go see a counselor so that you can figure out why you put up with this nonsense and do not respect yourself.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

I believe you got lots of advice previously along the lines of moving on and getting rid of him. You do not seem to have taken that advice at all. The ball is in your court.

1. 180 him'
2. get your financials in order- if you have joint assets property etc, go through and see what you have
3. get lawyer
4. divorce him
5. go into counselling

How old is your kid?

he has crossed all boundaries, you have whined and just let him away with it. you need to get rid of him from you life for good. why haven't you done this. being alone is so much better than suffering like this. No 26 year old is interested in a middle age man except for citizenship or money. Make sure there is no or little money and make sure you are not there to sort out his problems, start to play hard ball enough is enough. He is addicted to her, let him be, he will pay for that choice at some point and probably end up alone, by then you will have already started a new and much better life. Get started now, do not wait any longer.


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## KanDo (Jun 15, 2011)

So sorry you are going through this. Please take off the rose colored glasses and put on your big girl pants. This situation is untenable. AS noted above:
Start a real 180
Get your self to a family law attorney and file
Get into individual counselling.

You need to take control of your life. As EleGirl noted, adults in love relationships sometimes must protect themselves. You are WAY beyond this.


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