# I’m in so much pain



## Purple97 (Sep 19, 2021)

My husband i and have been talking about a divorce for the past 12 years )we have been married 12 yrs). We’ve both cheated at different times and we worked through it. So our relationship is definitely conflicted. 
My husband has been wanting to have sex with someone else (he says just sex) and two weeks ago he met someone and now he is spending all his time with her. I have been begging him not to go be with her but he just keeps going knowing it’s hurting me. I’ve stopped eating, haven’t been able to go to work and am basically just hysterical. He is willing to stay in the marriage if I can be ok with him dating her. Im just so hurt. I feel like I can’t function. I took my kids to the aquarium today and out for pizza and while I wasnt crying hysterically I was still crying in both places. I’m so embarrassed


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Would you be ok if he carried on cheating? Or is it a no no for you? 
I can't see you have much choice but to end the marriage if he refuses to stop his affair.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

The whole situation seems very toxic. You need to do what is best for yourself.


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## EdDean (Sep 12, 2021)

If you want a stable monogamous relationship and he doesn’t then I’m not sure what your options are. Your description paints a picture of him as being pretty hard hearted about it and indifferent to your feelings.


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## Ladyrare (Aug 30, 2021)

This isn't fair and the longer you tolerate it, the hurt would just keep on. Know your worth and do what is best for yourself.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

He hasn't ever really been a loyal, faithful spouse and a good father, has he?

You need to get a lawyer for you and your children.


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## sideways (Apr 12, 2016)

Sounds like this has been a toxic relationship from the start. Why continue in this as it obviously doesn't work for either of you?


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

You need to do what's best for the kids.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

it looks like he is trying to force your hand, into either accepting an open relationship or divorce, he clearly is not going to stop his pursue of her so right now I would tell him that you will be seeking a divorce.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

So it seems your choices are YOU starting dating around, or file for divorce. With his attitude, I don't see the appeal of staying in a relationship like that.


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