# First person that was able to give her an orgasm....Really?



## CaptainMyCaptain (Sep 19, 2010)

Ok, my wife has told me since we were dating that she never had orgasms with others during oral sex, or intercourse; but did through manual stimulation. She was 33 when we met and started dating. I think she has had an average amount of partners for someone her age, anywhere from 8-15 would be my guess. I've never asked for a specific number. 

She looked very surprised the first time that I did oral on her. I remember thinking that the look on her face was one of shock. I don't know if it was shock from how much she enjoyed it, or because it was the first time that she had an orgasm from oral. 

It took maybe a couple of times of us having sex before she had her first orgasm through intercourse. I am not at all well endowed, so it is hard to believe that I am the only person that has been able to do this for her.

She tells me that she enjoyed sex before, but nothing like she does with me. I want to believe her, of course, but I have a hard time believing that she isn't making this up. 

I have two questions for the ladies: 1) Is it possible to enjoy sex, even without orgasms? How? 

2) Should I believe that I am the only person to have been able to give her orgasms? I read once in a magazine that this is the Most popular lie told by women to their men. Is it?


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## Lonely720 (Sep 19, 2010)

First of all--YES! Im one of those women! 

Sex can be very pleasurable with orgasm...the motion, the feeling your partner inside you...can be a very intimate moment and sometimes I want sex without the orgasm...Orgasm is VERY GOOD...but I thoroughly enjoy sex...It's hard to describe how to someone without the vagina, my dear...so I'm trying...

To answer #2...yes, you can...I just recently had my first orgasm with a partner inside me...For many years, I've faked an orgasm simply because it wasn't going to get me there and his attempt after he had already orgasmed was no bueno...


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Don't know how to answer you. 
If a woman can't achieve an orgasm after many times of sex, she'll start to resent sex, that's my opinion. I had this feeling a few times, my husband came before I came, and I was in the middle, aroused, but he came, so I had to make myself come. If I didn't, I couldn't sleep. Believe me, I didn't like that feeling.
I never faked an orgasm. If I come, I come. I never fake. I am blessed for being able to enjoy sex so much. I had my first orgasm when I was 18 maybe, and later I figured out how to achieve orgasms myself. Since then, I have enjoyed sex a lot. 
If you wife told you that you are the first one to make her come. Then just believe her. Maybe you ARE the first man to make her come.
I can come orally, the feeling is great. She is telling you the truth! Maybe you are good at sex. Then just be a stud, and keep on giving her a happy sex life!


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

It is possible to enjoy sex without orgasm, yes. And yes, it is entirely possible that she never did before you. I met my boyfriend when I was 30, and he was the first guy to ever make me orgasm, in any way, oral, penetration, anything. This is after I'd been married and had 2 kids. lol 

Seriously, it is possible. I think some of it has to do with the man himself. For me, previous partners were too selfish to try to make me feel good, so I didn't enjoy it. My boyfriend tries very hard to make sure I enjoy it, and he wants me to orgasm, and knowing that makes it easier for me to relax and enjoy it with him. 

You should not be here worrying...you should be proud.


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## Hopeful1 (Aug 31, 2010)

Agree entirely with Lonely720 and ATruckersGirl...I enjoyed sex for years before my husband came along and rocked my world with my first orgasms via oral and intercourse at 32. I'd had plenty of manual pleasure and several partners by this time, but none of them were able to take me over the top. My first orgasm prompted by the efforts of a man was by my patient (and talented ) husband -- oral was the first mindblower. Fantastic. Been the happy recipient of oral before, but don't think I was ever really comfortable with it enough to "let go." With my husband, the comfort and trust was there. And since "letting go," I've been letting go as often as possible...! The intercourse orgasm came next (no pun intended) and took a bit more time to master. But I NEVER didn't enjoy sex without the orgasms. Sure, they're great when they happen, but there's so much more to sex than just the big "o". The touching, the heart-racing, the excitement, the breathlessness... you know???

I'd believe your wife and and not only be proud of your "achievement," but also know that it's likely a result of her comfort and trust level with you that has helped her to reach the stars...


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## Susan2010 (Apr 19, 2010)

The answers to both your questions are multi-faceted, but I'll try to keep it short.

1) Is it possible to enjoy sex, even without orgasms? How? 

Think about yourself. You are enjoying sex up to and before orgasm, aren't you? It isn't as though you snap your finger and then cum. While it is probably frustrating for you if you don't climax or have to abruptly stop beforehand, you still enjoy yourself in the meanwhile. And, there are men who practice semen retention and may spend days, weeks, or even months denying themselves release. However, they have big fun in the meantime and for longer periods of time.

Women have many more nerve endings and pressure points than men. So yes, sex is enjoyable/feels good before the big O. There are sexually active women who have never had an orgasm in their life, but they still enjoy sex. Unfortunately, a lot of women learn the fine points of sex from the men they are with. Some men are more skilled, knowledgeable, and in-tuned than others. Some are sorry and inconsiderate in bed. Some think women are born entirely for their service. My first orgasm was when I was 20 with my third partner. The two previous partners and I had no idea what we were doing. But, the third one had been taught by an older woman when he was younger, so he had a lot to teach and share with me. After he and I broke up, there have been quite a few partners on varying levels. No matter their age (30s, 40s, AND 50s), there were guys who were no more knowledgeable than my first two young partners. 

2) Should I believe that I am the only person to have been able to give her orgasms? I read once in a magazine that this is the Most popular lie told by women to their men. Is it? 

Yes. Women fake orgasm and lie about orgasm. I never faked or lied, but I also never tried to teach anyone how to please me. I always felt that either he knew how or he didn't know how. I lived my sexually expressive years judging my partners by their sexual prowess. To me, if a guy was a knowledgeable and considerate lover, then he was worth my continued interest. After my rule of dating for a couple months before sex (for other scrutiny purposes), I sometimes ended up feeling I'd wasted that time being curious and hoping. A guy had to show interest at least in pleasing me in bed. I rapidly lost patience with minute-men and with the unskilled because no way was I going to live my life as their vessel.

By the same token, I never told a guy he was bad in bed. That might be a lie by omission, but I never saw the purpose and didn't want to embarrass anyone. So that is the reason women lie. She does not want to embarrass her guy and also prefers not to have to engage in the inevitable discussion. Those who are like me does not want to have to teach him. For, those who have knowledge and interest, I have no problem sharing and communicating, but I have no time or patience for the clueless or disinterested.

I don't think you should question your wife's word on this issue. Just believe her because there's no point living day after day with that kind insecurity. If she says you are the only man ever to bring her to orgasm, I can see how that is possible and likely. Perhaps she never had such a considerate partner before you, and maybe your size is exactly what she needed. I know society places emphasis on the well-endowed, but it is fallacy that less-endowed men, and yes very small men, need to feel inadequate. You are uniquely qualified to reach the most important pressure points that I mentioned earlier. Even though you might not be able to reach all of her nerve endings like larger men, those larger men usually miss the mark of the pressure points that bring a woman to orgasm. And that is the reason women still enjoy sex without orgasm. 

The G-spot is located just a couple inches in, on the topside of her vaginal wall. Though they are usually brought to orgasm with oral sex, most women (and most men) don't even know they CAN orgasm during intercourse. You have probably heard numerous (those you know and through reading) say they don't have vaginal orgasms. The reason is they and their partner don't know about her G-spot or her A-spot (which is located further inside). Larger men penetrate right past the G-spot and so pressure is never applied to that specific area. It appears that you, on the other hand, are just the right size to hit her G-spot when thrusting. She finds that very enjoyable, believe me. See there, you're a stud after all!

In case you are still unsure of yourself, you can find books, videos, and internet articles to familiarize yourself with your woman's G-spot. In case it has been an accident that you so well satisfy her sexually or if you are not certain that you do, you can learn how to do it deliberately either with your first two fingers or with your penis. There are also articles that teach the best positions that provide optimum access to the G-spot.


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## jmsclayton (Sep 5, 2010)

Hi

sharing

For women orgasms is learned. So it takes time for her to learn orgasms. MEn it is instinctive. 

Write more later 

your thoughts? 

Judith


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## stumblealong (Jun 30, 2010)

Yes, you totally can believe her My H is able to make me orgasm orally, yet not through intercourse and he is on the larger side. My ex-H could not do it orally, but could through intercourse and he was on the smaller side! Go figure! Think of it as your 'talent':smthumbup:


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Who cares if it's true or not? She obviously likes what you're doing and wants you to keep repeating it. If she's convinced you are Mack Daddy, what's there to debate? Just do that thing you do and everyone's happy. It doesn't matter who drove the bus before you got the job or what his driving skills were like. As long as you take her where she wants to go, what's the problem?


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## CaptainMyCaptain (Sep 19, 2010)

I want to thank all of you for taking the time to read my post and give me your honest opinions. It was very thoughtful, and I do feel enlightened as a result of your efforts. I get your many points, and will just trust that she is telling the truth. She had told me that others didn't take their time and never appeared as concerned about her satisfaction. I just found it hard to believe that so many men out there are like that. My pleasure from sex comes from satisfying my wife. I can't imagine me being happy from sex, if she wasn't totally satisfied. I guess we are both lucky.

Thanks a million


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## Seppuku (Sep 22, 2010)

jmsclayton said:


> For women orgasms is learned. So it takes time for her to learn orgasms.


I wish mine would learn, it's like she has some kind of mental block. :/



CaptainMyCaptain said:


> My pleasure from sex comes from satisfying my wife. I can't imagine me being happy from sex, if she wasn't totally satisfied.


I feel the same way, which is quite the dilemma for me (see above).


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## friendly (Sep 21, 2010)

It's possible. I rarely have sex with orgasm. Just feel good during the prossess.


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## Sara Ann (Aug 27, 2010)

I don't need an orgasm every time. I love IC, it feels so good! I'd rather have a quickie with him in the morning (which feels so good), than have him decide it's too much trouble to deal with my orgasm when he's in a hurry so he's rather masturbate in the shower. 

When I was younger, I made a big deal out of it when a guy would not finger me to orgasm after IC. Since the age of 18 I've been demanding that way. Now, that I'm older, I'm more relaxed about it.

When he's done, if I do decide I want an orgasm, I just use my vibrator...a few min later, I get up also and make his coffee, everyone is happy.

But if he skipped me on the weekends when he has time, I'd be pi$$ed!!


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## friendly (Sep 21, 2010)

LOL Nice one!


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## hippychick (Sep 24, 2010)

I have been married for 12 years and my husband tells me I can't achieve orgasm the natural way I tell him every person you were with faked it. I am now telling you what I need he says I am to complicating...  I am sexually frustrated... He does make me achieve orgasm maybe twice a year. I am a person who likes sex and am tired of to take care of myself all the time. I do not want to leave the marriage I have 3 children. But I am starving for the right touch AAAHHHH..


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## candice912 (Sep 4, 2010)

hippychick said:


> I have been married for 12 years and my husband tells me I can't achieve orgasm the natural way I tell him every person you were with faked it. I am now telling you what I need he says I am to complicating...  I am sexually frustrated... He does make me achieve orgasm maybe twice a year. I am a person who likes sex and am tired of to take care of myself all the time. I do not want to leave the marriage I have 3 children. But I am starving for the right touch AAAHHHH..


This is a new one on me. What is the natural way? You mean to tell me that all of those mind blowing orgasms I did the wrong way?

Seriously Hippychick, you are not his exgirlfriends you are his wife and what happened before has nothing to do with you having an orgasm today. Guys often take less time than a woman to orgasm, so why not make him go down on your first before you give him any treats. He says it's too complicated? Let's make it real simple; tell him to lick until you scream. Part of being a good husband is taking good care of your wife. Maybe you should drag him off to a sex therapist?


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## jmsclayton (Sep 5, 2010)

Seppuku

Seppuku said; I wish mine would learn, it's like she has some kind of mental block. :/


Judith: It is vital that she learns what she feels that is good to her. You can do this by touching her in the vaginal area and her breasts to help her learn what her feelings-sexual -are. it is a matter of her learnign what she is feeling and focus on that when it comes to her body. She needs to relax and focus on the feelings and not feel afraid to let go. It could be some emotional thing that is keep her from letting go. Some women are afraid to let go due to the lack of control they have with their body -becuase in some ways it involves letting go of control of their bodies. And feeling what comes. If you touch her in all places sexually and find her sexual feelings-even in the vaginal area outside etc. That can help her to find her feelings and then move into letting her feel feelings that she is not wanting to feel for whatever reason. 

It sounds like it is more emotional than anything. Unless you haven't said something to me yet. 

Judith


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

CaptainMyCaptain said:


> Ok, my wife has told me since we were dating that she never had orgasms with others during oral sex, or intercourse; but did through manual stimulation. She was 33 when we met and started dating. I think she has had an average amount of partners for someone her age, anywhere from 8-15 would be my guess. I've never asked for a specific number.
> 
> She looked very surprised the first time that I did oral on her. I remember thinking that the look on her face was one of shock. I don't know if it was shock from how much she enjoyed it, or because it was the first time that she had an orgasm from oral.
> 
> ...


Your the man:smthumbup::smthumbup::smthumbup:


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## soccer (Jun 7, 2011)

I have a situation very similar to yours Captain..... Cant get her orally though, determined, not worried.


Been looking through the threads for something like this. I have been wondering the same thing.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I reckon it's an issue with communication really. I would recommend not faking anything if you wish your husband to learn anything at all. Orgasms has become more of a chore then a challenge nowadays with me and the missus, she won't let me go to work without having one to start the damn day! It's all about communication when it comes to making love and doing it right.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

soccer said:


> I have a situation very similar to yours Captain..... Cant get her orally though, determined, not worried.
> 
> 
> Been looking through the threads for something like this. I have been wondering the same thing.


 The original thread was 1.5 years old... Maybe starting a new one with your specific issues might help?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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