# Knowing I'm getting Abused



## Gotta Go (Jan 23, 2021)

I will be married 4 years on 2/14/21. I being doing so much research on what i need to do and how. My husband verbally mentally emotional and has physically abused me. It started in stages. Just as i have listed. Now that i know for certain it is absolutely abuse. Name calling cursing yelling pushing pulling pointing fingers in my face etc. I started recording got police report start documenting. He doesn't know that I'm fighting back with evidence. A couple if days ago he choked me. He never apologize for anything. My husband is selfish a showoff thinks he's superior controlling. He don't do anything around the house nothing. I would do it all. From mowing lawn to taking out trash everything in between. He enjoys the silent mode. I'm so over it. It use to bother me now I'm with it. I don't have to deal with the abuse when he's not talking to me. He only thinks of himself. He will go out and spend on him never on me. I ask for anything either they didn't have it or he was told i had to go online. I pay all the bills he pays nothing but keep his money. He will give money to aunt niece etc. To show off if i ask i have to pay him back so i ask for nothing. When I'm out shopping he always ask if i can get this or that. So now i say they don't have it. Anything i buy for myself such as eyeliner mascara. Hair dye oil sheen he would use it on his beard. So i started hiding my things he's not going to replace it it kept coming out of my pocket. So I've decided I've had enough after choking me I've said nothing to him I'm in a separate bedroom enjoying my peace. My plan is to get my self together finance quietly. Move out get a divorce. He told my mom yeah i bought her a house she wanted it she deserved it. Tell his friends my wife can have anything she want. I told him to stop telling people that cause it's not true that's to make you look good. He has told me this is his house when both our names are listed. Lol he said his name is listed first. How smart is that. Even if i wasn't listed it's still my house. He has no knowledge of nothing but thinks he knows everything. He always boast about how great he is and how so many people love him. I see different mother father son and many friends has stop communicating with him his attitude is 0. This is one person that is never wrong about anything. I'm praying to God to for give me for breaking a promise for better or worst. I know God is saying yoy do not deserve abuse. I approve you for leaving thy shall not be a fool. It's so much narcissism in his heart and head he's mental.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

I'm sorry you're going through this. You are doing the right thing by leaving this man. 

Have you consulted with a lawyer (or two) yet? That would be a good place to start. They will be able to tell you what you need to do to best protect yourself (and your children if you have any).


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

You're going about this the smart way but please be very careful because it has been shown that chokers can vary often escalate to actual murder. I want you to be able to get out safely but it may just be that now you are in your own room and he probably knows something is up that he might just finish you off. You might ought to have a place you can go even if you're not quite ready.

You need to be filing police reports as these things happen.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Gotta Go said:


> I will be married 4 years on 2/14/21. I being doing so much research on what i need to do and how. My husband verbally mentally emotional and has physically abused me. It started in stages. Just as i have listed. Now that i know for certain it is absolutely abuse. Name calling cursing yelling pushing pulling pointing fingers in my face etc. I started recording got police report start documenting. He doesn't know that I'm fighting back with evidence. A couple if days ago he choked me. He never apologize for anything. My husband is selfish a showoff thinks he's superior controlling. He don't do anything around the house nothing. I would do it all. From mowing lawn to taking out trash everything in between. He enjoys the silent mode. I'm so over it. It use to bother me now I'm with it. I don't have to deal with the abuse when he's not talking to me. He only thinks of himself. He will go out and spend on him never on me. I ask for anything either they didn't have it or he was told i had to go online. I pay all the bills he pays nothing but keep his money. He will give money to aunt niece etc. To show off if i ask i have to pay him back so i ask for nothing. When I'm out shopping he always ask if i can get this or that. So now i say they don't have it. Anything i buy for myself such as eyeliner mascara. Hair dye oil sheen he would use it on his beard. So i started hiding my things he's not going to replace it it kept coming out of my pocket. So I've decided I've had enough after choking me I've said nothing to him I'm in a separate bedroom enjoying my peace. My plan is to get my self together finance quietly. Move out get a divorce. He told my mom yeah i bought her a house she wanted it she deserved it. Tell his friends my wife can have anything she want. I told him to stop telling people that cause it's not true that's to make you look good. He has told me this is his house when both our names are listed. Lol he said his name is listed first. How smart is that. Even if i wasn't listed it's still my house. He has no knowledge of nothing but thinks he knows everything. He always boast about how great he is and how so many people love him. I see different mother father son and many friends has stop communicating with him his attitude is 0. This is one person that is never wrong about anything. I'm praying to God to for give me for breaking a promise for better or worst. I know God is saying yoy do not deserve abuse. I approve you for leaving thy shall not be a fool. It's so much narcissism in his heart and head he's mental.


You are right God doesn't want you be be abused and to be honest you are in danger every day you stay with him. I would suggest that when he is at work one day you leave. Dont tell him you are leaving because of the danger. Hopefully you have a family membeor friend you can stay with. Then see a lawyer and begin the divorce.


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

Yeah, you need to be very careful *at the point where he knows you are leaving*. In some cases, that's when the violence can escalate, even to lethal levels.


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## Gineywiney (Jan 26, 2021)

Gotta Go said:


> I will be married 4 years on 2/14/21. I being doing so much research on what i need to do and how. My husband verbally mentally emotional and has physically abused me. It started in stages. Just as i have listed. Now that i know for certain it is absolutely abuse. Name calling cursing yelling pushing pulling pointing fingers in my face etc. I started recording got police report start documenting. He doesn't know that I'm fighting back with evidence. A couple if days ago he choked me. He never apologize for anything. My husband is selfish a showoff thinks he's superior controlling. He don't do anything around the house nothing. I would do it all. From mowing lawn to taking out trash everything in between. He enjoys the silent mode. I'm so over it. It use to bother me now I'm with it. I don't have to deal with the abuse when he's not talking to me. He only thinks of himself. He will go out and spend on him never on me. I ask for anything either they didn't have it or he was told i had to go online. I pay all the bills he pays nothing but keep his money. He will give money to aunt niece etc. To show off if i ask i have to pay him back so i ask for nothing. When I'm out shopping he always ask if i can get this or that. So now i say they don't have it. Anything i buy for myself such as eyeliner mascara. Hair dye oil sheen he would use it on his beard. So i started hiding my things he's not going to replace it it kept coming out of my pocket. So I've decided I've had enough after choking me I've said nothing to him I'm in a separate bedroom enjoying my peace. My plan is to get my self together finance quietly. Move out get a divorce. He told my mom yeah i bought her a house she wanted it she deserved it. Tell his friends my wife can have anything she want. I told him to stop telling people that cause it's not true that's to make you look good. He has told me this is his house when both our names are listed. Lol he said his name is listed first. How smart is that. Even if i wasn't listed it's still my house. He has no knowledge of nothing but thinks he knows everything. He always boast about how great he is and how so many people love him. I see different mother father son and many friends has stop communicating with him his attitude is 0. This is one person that is never wrong about anything. I'm praying to God to for give me for breaking a promise for better or worst. I know God is saying yoy do not deserve abuse. I approve you for leaving thy shall not be a fool. It's so much narcissism in his heart and head he's mental.


I wish you the best of luck. You’re not alone!! You obviously are a strong woman and knows what she wants. Love is blind but continue with your plan because that doesn’t sound like love. Don’t fall for his guilt trips it’s honestly ********. If it’s real you won’t have to question. May GOD protect your heart and soul and give you back all of you!! Thank you for sharing.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Call the police the next time he touches you. Start recording him ranting and yelling and abusing you. Protect YOUR money. STOP doing things for him. 
He should never lay his hands on you, especially choking. Maybe carry something around with you (pepper spray?) in case he tries that again.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

If he starts choking you out from the front, jab him in both eyes.


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## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

Have you told your friends and family about this?


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## Sukisue1234 (Jan 17, 2018)

You are so right in your thinking about him putting his hands on you. escalation point may become more dangerous soon leaving as he will have to spit all those assets he feels belongs to him. Apparently he see s you as one of those things he owns and can do what he pleases with. IM SO SORRY YOU ARE IN THIS MESS, IF YOU ARE PREGNANT THE COURT SOMETIMES WONT RULE ON THE DIVORCE TILL THE CHILDS BORN, JUST ADVISE YOUR LAWYER OF EVERYTHING,, THE PHYSICAL AND MENTAL ABUSE AND GET A RESTRAINING ORDER PUT IN PLACE IF YOU NEED TO.. IM ALLWAYS SADDEND BY FAMILYS GOING THROUGH THIS AS MY FAMILY DID, DUE TO HUSBAND S DRINKING,, PRAYING FOR YOUR LIL ONE AND YOU TO BE SAFE.


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## cc48kel (Apr 5, 2017)

Yes, he is abusing you and you need to get your ducks in a row QUIETLY to get out of this marriage!!! My spouse says that's 'his house' and 'his money' but I defiantly know it's half mine.. : ) I have no idea why these men say stupid things maybe to try to intimidate us. Yes, save all the money you can. Even go see a lawyer for a free consultation but don't say a word!! And some quietly start 'gathering' things little by little and 'park' them somewhere like a family member or friend you trust. I wish you the best!! No one deserves to live with a person like him!!


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