# Just my luck...they are twins!



## mimi25 (Jul 2, 2014)

Hello everyone! First off I would like to say that I am extremely thankful that I was able to come across this forum. And after reading various stories (which I will give my advice to proceeding this post) I knew I had come into the right community.

Well, to commence, our problem stems from his 8 year friendship with two sisters. All of those years they have utilized him to their convenience (whenever they needed a should to cry on, whenever they needed help moving, in their college courses, etc.) When he was an adolescent and through the first two years of college, he was involve with one of the twins, lets call her Tick. Tick though, never reciprocated these feelings for him but continued to use him whenever she was in need. The other sister, lets call her Tack, would cry on his shoulder when she was having problems with men and so on. 

Now, when we were dating, I knew about this history between them and I thought it was fine and innocent, even though he loved Tick. I have my male friends that I care for as well and it would be unreasonable for me to tell him to do away with people just because they are female friends. 

But HE began to slowly make it more and more uncomfortable for me. The first time we had intercourse and I had slept over, he left me in his bed after Tick had called him because she needed someone to take her to work. Instead of asking her to please call someone else, he ran to her rescue. I never mentioned this bothered me until a few months into the relationship. On another occasion, when speaking about Tick, he told me he had once shared his bed with her when she was intoxicated in his apartment after a party and he had even had to put her in his shower to sober up. He mentioned how he was tempted to touch her through the night but was a gentleman and did not. (My friend who used to be friends with Tick had told me that Tick had felt absolutely repulsed by sharing a bed with him but that she was too under the influence to move). When I told him this not long ago, he denied it and said I was making it up and that even so, it was years ago and it should not even matter.

Moreover, when we moved in together, my S.O. would constantly text and call Tick to hang out (with and without me) and she would always decline the invite. So what did my partner do? He started crying to me saying that he missed her and did not know why she rejects him so...I told him how awkward this made me feel, to hear my man talk like this about a female friend, and he replied with "I would act like this with any of my male friends if they ignored me." (From this you can see his level of immaturity). The same friend who knew her had told me that when she did hang out with my S.O. it was because she had finally given in and had felt bad about making me him wait so long. 

On another note, their parents are massage therapists, so of course they would give my S.O. massages for free after workouts! Sometimes when I was tired from work he would give me massages and say "Tick and Tack say that this tension right here can be released by doing this...and that" (Again, uncomfortable for me). And when working out with him, he would compare me to Tack because she is more athletic than I am...

Now to the juicier part to my story. My grown man loves playing video games to release some stress, and who plays with him through the internet? Tack. I finally told him to tone the relationship he had with both women after a comment he had made to Tack. Something about if she were a stripper he would go watch and throw money at her. 

And so my hatred began and I stood my ground. I said "i do not want to hear about these women again, and I do not want to every see them again, if you respect me, you will sacrifice your friendship with these people." And what did he do? He placed the couch in front of our bedroom and blocked my exit, saying that he did not want me to leave the room for the rest of the night because I was controlling, needy, and unreasonable. 

Well, after a few months, and after him BEGGING and crying to me saying that he could not stand it and needed them in his life, I gave in and gave him permission to speak to them again. And what happened? I found a photo of Tack on his phone that she had sent him, drunk, of a skimpy outfit and phone calls and texts of her drunk. He had texted her the next morning (he says as a normal friend would do) to see if she was okay. I confronted both of them about it and she apologized and said she understood me. I was still not okay with the friendship and wanted her and her sister out of my life forever. 

So while we were forced to be long distance a while when I was in law school, and he was stuck in a low end job at another city, he LIED. Yep, he lied and went out with both of them and his best friend to a bar and returned home at 5am. How did I find out? His best friend told me the next day because he could not stand that my S.O. had lied to me about staying at home all night. 

When I was able to see him again, I told him once again that the friendship had to terminated and he slapped me, saying I had no control over his friends. I was sobbing, I was a mess, and he turned his anger toward his father who was visiting and the night ended with him getting physical with him. And so we took a break. 

We "solved" the issue, after he agreed to stop being their friend and promised me that if that is what it took to keep me, that he would do it. After 5 months of this happening, I found out last week that he has been still in contact with them and seeing them behind my back. He said he does not regret lying and hiding it from me because he does not agree with me. 

And thus, I took off my ring and left to my parents' house. A few days ago he called to tell me that he does not think he could go on like this being with someone so controlling and unreasonable. He said he was justified in lying because the options were to either lie or lose me...

I am confused as to what I should do? Should I accept the friendship? Should I forgive? How about his temper...? He said he would not want to stay with me if I do not let him be with his two friends and wants me to be friends with them myself after all of this...that is the first year of our marriage will be like this, he does not want his life to continue on like this...


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Oh brother. Look, he's never going to give up this friendship. NEVER. Now, once you get that through your head you can decide if you can live with it or not.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Why are you dating such a creep in the first place ?

he even got physical with you over them.


google 'beta orbiters'. you should get a sense of his behavior


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

mimi25 said:


> The first time we had intercourse and I had slept over, he left me in his bed after Tick had called him because she needed someone to take her to work. Instead of asking her to please call someone else, he ran to her rescue.


 Right there, he showed you that your needs will always in 2nd place to her needs. If she can call him out of bed with you after the first time you had intercourse, she can call him away from you anytime she wants, and he has never even had sex with her.



mimi25 said:


> He placed the couch in front of our bedroom and blocked my exit, saying that he did not want me to leave the room for the rest of the night because I was controlling, needy, and unreasonable.


 This guy is nuts.



mimi25 said:


> I found a photo of Tack on his phone that she had sent him, drunk, of a skimpy outfit and phone calls and texts of her drunk.


 He is in love with her. Until he loses his obsession with her, he will never be able to love anyone else but her.



mimi25 said:


> So while we were forced to be long distance a while when I was in law school, and he was stuck in a low end job at another city, he LIED. Yep, he lied and went out with both of them and his best friend to a bar and returned home at 5am.


 Cheaters lie. If he had a low end job, he did not need to be stuck in that city as there are low end jobs in every city. He stayed behind to be near the woman that he is in love with, and that woman is not you.



mimi25 said:


> I told him once again that the friendship had to terminated and he slapped me, saying I had no control over his friends. I was sobbing, I was a mess, and he turned his anger toward his father who was visiting and the night ended with him getting physical with him.


 Again this guy is nuts. Mix that with violence and you need to get away from this guy.



mimi25 said:


> I found out last week that he has been still in contact with them and seeing them behind my back. He said he does not regret lying and hiding it from me because he does not agree with me.


 Again, cheaters lie. He is also the worst kind of cheater, an unremorseful one that thinks lying to you is OK if it suites is ability to cheat.



mimi25 said:


> And thus, I took off my ring and left to my parents' house. A few days ago he called to tell me that he does not think he could go on like this being with someone so controlling and unreasonable. He said he was justified in lying because the options were to either lie or lose me.


 Again, cheaters lie. He just told you that given a choice, he picks the other woman. He also just told you that if you marry him he would lie to you if it suites his needs.



mimi25 said:


> He said he would not want to stay with me if I do not let him be with his two friends and wants me to be friends with them myself after all of this...that is the first year of our marriage will be like this, he does not want his life to continue on like this.


 Again he just told you that given a choice, he picks the other woman. He also just told you that he will be ignoring the marriage vows where he suppose to forsake all others for you and where he is to put no one before you. One more thing. Do you honestly think that if this other woman wanted to sleep with him to assert her dominance of him over you that he would say no? 

You should never enter a marriage with someone that tells you upfront that you will be always be second in his heart. When you add in the fact that he is physically abusive to you, is nuts, has less education than you, has a “low end job”, and is generally very immature, I say run and do not look back.


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## mimi25 (Jul 2, 2014)

I was thinking the same thing, that he will always choose them over me...which makes no sense at all. I am the woman he wants to have kids with and build a future. Sometimes I wonder if I am really just unreasonable, but I have gotten so tired of the disrespect, of the phone calls in the middle of the night. They simply use him and he does not see it...

I wrote to one of them about how I felt and she completely ignored me. Her sister though told me that I was petty and dramatic... 

What nerve!!!! 

Though I still feel a sense of guilt for telling him not to see his female friends...


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## mimi25 (Jul 2, 2014)

TRy, thank you for your response. He is currently still in his low end job 5 hours away from me. He stated that he must stay in that city because he has more connections over there and will be easier for him to enter into a police academy and later into his career. He was rejected from the Marines and later Border Patrol. I understand he has connections over there but my life is in another city. The twins have moved away and yet since his doctor is in the city where they live in, he seems to have lunch with them whenever he gets the chance (behind my back). 

It just has gotten difficult to be with him since he does not celebrate my accomplishments. I am tired of this temporary long distance. 

How could he possibly feel this way about both...? He seems obsessed yet his best friend of 10 years says that I am being unreasonable and that I should trust him enough to let him have female friends at this stage in our lives...


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

mimi25 said:


> his best friend of 10 years says that I am being unreasonable and that I should trust him enough to let him have female friends at this stage in our lives.


 You are not objecting to him having female friends. You are reasonably objecting to these specific female friends. Many couples in committed relationships have rules against opposite sex friends. Those couples that do allow for opposite sex freinds have boundaries governing such opposite sex friendship, such as the opposite sex friend must be a friend of the couples relationship. His conduct with these opposite sex friends breaks most such boundaries.

Never make someone else the priority in you life, if you are not the priority in their life. The sooner that you move on, the sooner you will find someone that will cherish you. Once you find that person, you will know what you were missing, and will look back on this relationship and ask yourself why you stayed in it for so long.


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## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)

Is this for real?? Why do you want to fight for him if you don't mind me asking? Because you haven't had one positive thing to say about the guy. Your relationship sounds pretty dysfunctional from start to finish based on what you've told us. I know there are two sides to every story but that guy sounds like a douche.

Even if these twins were out of the picture, what's to stop him from engaging in similar behavior with someone else? The twins aren't the problem. Your boyfriend is the problem.

Do not marry him. Do NOT have kids with him. The guy sounds unstable, is violent towards you, and it doesn't sound like he knows how to conduct himself in a relationship anyway.


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## FromEurope (Jun 29, 2014)

May I ask how old you both are? punched his face the moment he slapped you
You are not married, and he is showing you already what kind of future will await you if you do.
Also.... i would've punched his face the second he slapped you! This alone without the presence of the twins should be a good reason to leave him and move on! You are certainly more in love then he is.... no way you put other people before the person you care for!
Please move on now that you are still single


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## VFW (Oct 24, 2012)

_Posted via Mobile Device_He is who he is....period. Don't try to make him what you want, except him or let him go.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

Let me cut down your post it's a bit lengthy.

After locking me in the bedroom, my boyfriend slapped me across the face. What do I do?

Answer:

You leave his @ss.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

I think if this thread continues we are in for a revelation about a threesome with TicTac. The set-up is in place.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

We can only hope.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mimi25 (Jul 2, 2014)

Hello everyone. Thank you for all of your advice and concerns. 

Why have I been trying to fight for this man? Well, because like in every dysfunctional relationship, he is not always on his worst behavior. He moved to where I was studying law for two months (even though I begged him to get a job down here and he refused), vacations all paid for by him, we lived together and shared happy memories there, gave me his great grandmother's engagement ring, everything I wanted (emotionally, physically, economically) I got from him, except he did not want to sacrifice the twins for me... The only reason I have placed emphasis on money is because he threw it in my face over the weekend that he has spent everything he had on me. He stated (maybe out of anger after I had said I wanted to leave him and called the twins good for nothing tramps) that now that I have a career I am leaving him and I am going to be spending the next guy's money and not his. That the moment that I can finally start contributing more economically I leave and he stays with a broken heart and no money. 

That same day after I left my ring in the car, he threw a mug of hot coffee at me and called me a b**** in public. He said it was justified just like his lying because I was such a jealous and unreasonable person. Why in the world is there a part of me that feels horrible for trying to tell him not to see these women? Is there even a possibility that it is not them but instead he is holding on because he does not want to feel controlled by me?

To get a better idea, I am 25 and he is 26. 

He mentioned to me last Saturday that I drove him to lying. Is that possible? Can someone please try to argue for his perspective? I keep on trying to understand where he is coming from but I fail miserably. 

I do not think he will ever let go of the twins, or them of him. Why should they? They have this man who would do anything for them (even though he says he acts the same with all of his male coworkers and friends)? 

Would you be able to accept the friendship? 

And it was an excellent point that the problem here is my S.O., that may be the case. But how can I make him more of a man? His mother told me that he is not at a happy point in his life. After the military rejected him (he could not pass the physical, and border patrol rejected him as well) he is just not content. She told me that I could either wait for him to become a man in his 30s or move on now that I have my career and I am still fresh.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Punt him out of your life, and never look back. You can do better. Much much better. If you don't think so, get yourself into counseling for your self-esteem issues. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

Right. And I love it how the Police Academy is something one has to be 5 hours away to "work towards".

My son is 17 and is involved with some youth law enforcement groups. He could join the police academy when he turns 18 and graduates high school, but he will go to college first. The Police Academy is not a destination that requires much. It's a means to obtaining skills. Makes no sense.

TicTac. Ha.


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## mimi25 (Jul 2, 2014)

Also, about his anger management issue (he does have anger management issues right?), he refused to go to counseling anymore. The first time we went it seemed to work for a month or so, he realized that his level of maturity was that of an adolescent. I strongly believe he is still caught in that phase of his life (I mentioned this to him and he looked appalled and asked me if I really thought he was that pathetic). Looking back, do I really want to have to constantly keep him away from my children when he is mad? 

Example, I sometimes get disoriented when giving directions, so what does he do, he yells at the top of his lungs in the car and punches the steering wheel. If I have children sitting in the back seat, do I want them to see this behavior? Will he ever get any better?! If the internet stops working, he breaks something to release his anger. He said his parents when he was younger gave him a punching bag to release his anger and not ruin anything else in the house. I strongly disagree with this remedy. He doesn't seem to be dealing with his anger he is releasing it in a violent manner. 

Do not get me wrong though, he is thoughtful and romantic when he wants to be. He is very intelligent and watches classic movies, listens to classical music, has hobbies, and so on. By the way, he threw it in my face that he has taken no hobbies from me and has only learned from me to control his temper (which I think I failed miserably at anyways). 

Does he mean I am not an interesting person? He has a collection of guns and goes to shooting competitions, scuba dives, was a life guard, etc. I admit to not having many hobbies. Hispanic women are not really taught to have hobbies, we entertain ourselves at home. I was always taught to read for fun and thus I decided to continue my studies. I believe I am an interesting person and it hurts even more because he learned how to give massages from the twins and they are artists (they paint and sale their art), I am an attorney.


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## mimi25 (Jul 2, 2014)

Gabriel said:


> Right. And I love it how the Police Academy is something one has to be 5 hours away to "work towards".
> 
> My son is 17 and is involved with some youth law enforcement groups. He could join the police academy when he turns 18 and graduates high school, but he will go to college first. The Police Academy is not a destination that requires much. It's a means to obtaining skills. Makes no sense.
> 
> TicTac. Ha.


He used to be in Sheriff's Explorers back in high school and thus he says that his best friend's dad has a high position and will be able to get him into the force. Some academies give scholarships to people and thus if they give a scholarship they guarantee them a position. I have more connections here for my career as well and wanted him to do the academy here if I helped pay for it without the scholarship. I honestly think he is just afraid that without that guaranteed spot, he will be left without his dream career.

His parents live in that same city and seem to be just throwing money his way whenever he needs it. My family disapproves of his behavior and his fear to start new in another city after when I was applying to law schools, I applied all over Texas for him because he thought he was going to be a Border Patrol agent...I was going to drop everything and move there from Florida. Being Cuban, that western culture is not where I would be the most comfortable, and yet I was going to go into a border town to be by his side. When I asked him to move to south florida with me he said no because he did not like the hispanic culture here and knew more people from the police back where he is from.


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## ArmyofJuan (Dec 29, 2010)

You are co-dependent and in denial, your relationship is only going to get worse over time.

Every minute you waste staying with him is a minute lost being with someone "normal". Unless you are addicted to the drama then the only course of action is to get out. Nobody in their right mind with stay in this situation. His bad far outweighs the good, relationships don't have to be like this.


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## mimi25 (Jul 2, 2014)

ArmyofJuan said:


> Nobody in their right mind with stay in this situation. His bad far outweighs the good, relationships don't have to be like this.


It is funny that you mention that his bad outweighs the good. He told me last weekend that the bad times in our relationship had almost cancelled out the good ones. He says it has been so so hard and he is not happy. HA! My answer was that yes it has been very difficult but only because he made it so. With his bad attitude and temper. He said relationships are supposed to be fun as well...He has sucked a lot of the fun of our relationship (when we have gone on trips or out to dinner, something mostly always happens that ticks him off...). 

How can you fix someone so broken?


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## mimi25 (Jul 2, 2014)

He is calling my phone at this very moment. But I am not ready to talk. I am not ready to state what I want.:scratchhead:


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

It takes two to make a relationship.

He does not have proper boundaries with the twin sisters.

He has refused to put you first in his life.

You are not his backup plan. You can do so much better.

Go NC with him and get him out of your life. He will not give up the twins so he has made his choice. They do not really care about him.

Since he will not give up that toxic relationship, he has given up on your relationship. He will not be able to support you and your family. 

Time to put him in the past.

Good luck and move on.


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

IF you knew everything now the first day you met, would you just walk away?

You cannot be serious about this mental midget, clown and chump.

Look, I know you're not married but it goes like this: Marriage - an arrangement where she hopes he'll change but doesn't; and where he hopes she'll never changes, but does. 

You simply do not need this kind of aggravation in your life. No woman does. Let's say you break up. 2 years from now, you see him with a new girlfriend. Look in her face. Is she a happy? That's what you look like today.

Bail and chalk it up to lessons learned.


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## mahike (Aug 16, 2011)

wow you are here looking for advice but you are just rambling on about the ups and downs of him

He is never going to pick you over them.
He slapped you
He has lied to you
You are not married
You have no kids

Stop it! My Dad is breaking out here. Get away from this guy, end it now. no closure BS. No fixing a broken guy. Pull up your big girl pants pick your self esteem off of the floor and move on now. Tick and Tack will use him the rest of his life.


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

Tick and tack use him, he will use you.

Win win? You've got to be kidding. Take action today. Don't wait until next week. Make today the best move you've made ever. 

The next few guys you meet will get better and better. Filter the trash and get serious with mature, decent guys. Let the weak, unmotivated, brainless gals take him (tick & tack have). Move up. That's where you belong.


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## mimi25 (Jul 2, 2014)

I would not even know what to say to him at this point... 

Goodbye forever. You are too immature, I need a real man in my life...?


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

If the internet stops working, he breaks something to release his anger

Please dump this idiot.


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

mimi25 said:


> I would not even know what to say to him at this point...
> 
> Goodbye forever. You are too immature, I need a real man in my life...?


Perfect. One more thing though.... *HANGUP* the phone. Block him, un friend him.

You don't need to listen to what you know is coming next. 

... And his next girlfriend will tire of him talking about his collection of girls. Tack tack and you. Then she'll leave him too and so on...

Just flush and leave.


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

Imagine the happiness you will give to a decent guy. A real man. And how happy you will be. 

Forget about this trash. He should be history in just a few minutes. You have a lot of power you know. Stand up for yourself.


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

Look,

No one is perfect. You aren't either. But never ever sell yourself short. 

You can be the best person you can be, but you can't make the guy be his best. You can find him. There are many many decent men out there. TAM really shows people at their very worst and at their very best. A great place to learn about yourself.

Don't rush into relationships with your eyes closed. Let this one be a lesson. You can do so much better. For yourself and your future. --- and the future of your family. Be a better person and you'll find that better guy.


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## mimi25 (Jul 2, 2014)

Do guys like this never truly mature? In a few years when his career is in line with his wishes...is there any hope for him then?


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Move on. Find someone good for you. He isn't.


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

mimi25 said:


> Do guys like this never truly mature? In a few years when his career is in line with his wishes...is there any hope for him then?


NO

Can a future event out of his control suddenly give him integrity? Does some future event suddenly make him a man? Will a future event turn him back into a child?

Come on now. You know the answer. Put your energy into a real man. You can't wave a magic wand and create your prince.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

Stop asking questions. You've already gotten your answers from many people here. 

Dump the loser. Move on.


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## SeaStarIn (Mar 26, 2014)

Just say sorry things are not working out.
Wish him well and hope you both enjoy your lives apart. goodbye!

But it is time to go.
Should have left him long ago.
Lies, desecption, temper tantrums, and striking you.
He is not ready for commitment :banghead:


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## mimi25 (Jul 2, 2014)

Thank you everyone. I have been writing him a letter. I express myself better that way, since he decided to rant in one last weekend. I am not ranting though, just stating everything I have inside before I say goodbye...


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

Good. I know it's hard, but you do need to let this one go. He will lose out on a great woman because of his obsession with another that doesn't want him. 

But you can still find someone to treat you like #1!


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

crazy crazy crazy.

have more self respect for yourself and set the standard higher.


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## mimi25 (Jul 2, 2014)

I found this article online and it has really helped me come to my senses as well. 

Does Love Involve Sacrifice or Compromise? | Psychology Today 

it is a good read. What do ya'll think?


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## whatslovegottodowithit? (Jan 6, 2013)

Let this guy know, seeing as he has anger issues, that ANY verbal or physical abuse from this day forward will cause you to get a restraining order/order of protection against him. I highly doubt any police agency wants to hire some guy who hits women!

I'm guessing you were living together, right? So he got to have you around to fulfill his needs in-and-out of the bedroom with no commitment to you? It's pretty clear he has no rules for a relationship, and since you weren't married, he did his own thing. No vows were made and your 'audition' went poorly.

The next guy you intend to marry should be AFTER you have 6 months of premarital counseling (by someone who specializes in this, of course). Issues like the ones you're facing would have been dealt with so you can make a better choice.

If loyalty to another is important to you, this is not your guy. THANK GOD there aren't any children tangled into this mess with you! You like to wonder about the future so here goes: Is this someone you want fathering your children? If you had a daughter, would you advise her to stay with a man like this? You chose poorly, and now that you've moved out, move on.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

*He slapped you??* Really? 

Let Tick and Tack have him.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> *He slapped you??* Really?
> 
> Let Tick and Tack have him.



Tick and Tack don't want him. They know what a pathetic pos loser he is.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Just Joe (May 26, 2014)

Stick with me for a minute and you will see where this is going.

I don't automatically believe just because someone is a doctor, a lawyer, an accountant, a psychologist, a counselor, etc., that they know what they are talking about when it comes to their jobs. I have met too many people in my own field who have been doing it for years and are not very good at it.

I have this friend who is a psychologist. I don't know if he is good at it or not, but he is a normal guy, meaning he and I think alike when it comes to most things.

One day a few years ago I remember talking with him about a couple we know who have a lot of "issues." The guy half of the couple seemed like a real jerk. The female half seemed OK. I wondered how she wound up with him, how come she stayed with him. My friend told me that, when there is a dysfunctional relationship, and two people stay in it, they BOTH are getting something out of it. If they weren't both getting something from it, one of them would leave. So I said, well, what is she getting out of it? His answer was, "I don't know" but he went on to say that some people enjoy being the victim, they like telling other people about it. Or they lack self esteem and because this one other person shows an interest in them, that is enough for them to stay. Or it could be a lot of other reasons, but, he said, in these cases where they stay together, the second person is getting something out of it also or else they leave.

Now, I am not able to guess what you have been getting out of this relationship. But does that make any sense to you, that there is something you were getting out of this relationship?

Because that story you just told is pretty horrible stuff. People who think like me are going to be wondering, how did you get involved with this guy, and why stay as long as you did?

Moved the couch in front of the door because YOU were being controlling and needy? WTF?


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

It's just the inexperience of youth. One grows over time, particularly with the right one. This loser would stop her growing into a great woman.

Without the jerk, I see Mimi as getting smarter, more confident, opening a business and making serious money. With the right guy, she thrives and becomes successful. 

Mimi, don't settle for trash. Set your expectations and exceed them in every way.

BTW, unfairly, women have to adjust to relationships FAR more than men do. Make sure he's worth it.


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## mimi25 (Jul 2, 2014)

Update, well, after reading my letter, he replied with one of his own. He said that after calling me and me not picking up the phone, he decided he didnt want to be with me. I tried having a conversation with me and he told me to leave him alone, changed everything on social networks, and said I needed help for always trying to put the blame on him and victimizing myself so much in the relationship.


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## bravenewworld (Mar 24, 2013)

mimi25 said:


> Update, well, after reading my letter, he replied with one of his own. He said that after calling me and me not picking up the phone, he decided he didnt want to be with me. I tried having a conversation with me and he told me to leave him alone, changed everything on social networks, and said I needed help for always trying to put the blame on him and victimizing myself so much in the relationship.


I know it stings, but it's just his lame attempt at trying to control the situation. His behavior is not something one "grows out of." 

This dude threw coffee in your face and slapped you. He's a degenerate and I have no doubt the abuse would have escalated. 

In the meantime, get into IC and work on your own issues. And block his number on your cell (very easy to do on iPhone) because I guarantee he'll try calling you at some point. 

Make it clear you want nothing to do with him. Trust me - this is someone you only want to see in your rear view mirror.


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

Congratulations!!! This shows you the pig that he is. You must feel relief. Now, get started with the rest of your life. Plan and strategize for yourself. What are your priorities. Write them down then - get going. 

Block him on your phone. Social accounts, everywhere. You'll go through emotions, but we all know you've done the right thing for yourself. Smile now and move on.


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## sirdano (Dec 30, 2011)

I pray to God that he never is able to join the Police force. Can you imagine this guy able to write tickets and stuff.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

mimi25 said:


> Update, well, after reading my letter, he replied with one of his own. He said that after calling me and me not picking up the phone, he decided he didnt want to be with me. I tried having a conversation with me and he told me to leave him alone, changed everything on social networks, and said I needed help for always trying to put the blame on him and victimizing myself so much in the relationship.


So what's the problem? You want out, he wants out. Let him go already. 

C


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## mimi25 (Jul 2, 2014)

bravenewworld said:


> In the meantime, get into IC and work on your own issues. And block his number on your cell (very easy to do on iPhone) because I guarantee he'll try calling you at some point.


I got rid of every trace of him on social networks and on my phone. Now if he wants to contact me, the only way he would be able to is through e-mail. I mentioned how I could never forgive him slapping me and I took it in order not to lose him in vain. And his response was "stop always playing the victim." 

I am done... He said he never wanted to talk to me again and thus I agreed and said okay.


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## mimi25 (Jul 2, 2014)

sirdano said:


> I pray to God that he never is able to join the Police force. Can you imagine this guy able to write tickets and stuff.


I really am concerned about his career choice. I hope he makes it though. Border patrol rejected him because years ago he had tried marijuana (thanks to those good for nothing women, they are painters and just strange individuals overall). The marines didnt because he was not in good enough shape. 

Something has to go right in his life for him to be able to turn it around. But yes, I am concerned because if he is having a bad day and and loses his temper, someone can get hurt...


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Why are you wasting your time with this clown?

He obviously has feelings for Tick and Tack, and they're all caught up in some weird "friends, but more than friends" triangle.

He will do this to you again, with Frick and Frack next.

Get him out of your life.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

mimi25 said:


> I would not even know what to say to him at this point...
> 
> Goodbye forever. You are too immature, I need a real man in my life...?


That works for me!

Then change your phone number, block his email and move on.

Clean break!


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

mimi25 said:


> But how can I make him more of a man?


You can't. Either he is man or he isn't. Everything you've described about him points to one thing. He. Is. A. *LOSER.*

If he's leaving you alone now, think of it as a gift. Get some counseling. Find out why you tolerated him as long as you did.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

You were acting like a victim. Hell, you were still trying to have a conversation with someone that abused you, made it clear they can't stand you, and probably viewed you as a convenient f$ck. Good for you that you've taken steps to cut him off, just remember this when he tries to contact you s again. And he will. People like this only respect strength, not people that take it up the wazoo and still attempt to "talk".
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

Mimi, the next several days, weeks and months will suck. It is one thing to come on an internet site and get advice (and I know it was good advice here), it is altogether different to follow through with what you said (that this relationship is done).

You still have feelings for this guy and in time they will diminish. Don't deny those feelings but let them die.

As others have said this guy is not worth it. If you hook back up with him I will wager that if you married him and violence would get worse ahe will never end it with those two.


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