# Is this how men cheat?



## RisingSun90 (Mar 17, 2013)

Do married men seriously think that fooling around (kissing, oral, etc) is not cheating? That just because he didn't put his d!ck in some woman makes everything else that did he ok? He's still an "honorable" guy because he didn't have sex?


----------



## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

RisingSun90 said:


> Do married men seriously think that fooling around (kissing, oral, etc) is not cheating? That just because he didn't put his d!ck in some woman makes everything else that did he ok? He's still an "honorable" guy because he didn't have sex?


No. That is just what some of them say, hoping that you are retarded enough to buy into it.


----------



## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

RisingSun90 said:


> Do married men seriously think that fooling around (kissing, oral, etc) is not cheating? That just because he didn't put his d!ck in some woman makes everything else that did he ok? He's still an "honorable" guy because he didn't have sex?


I don't. I think men can justify it to themselves that way but I think they know deep down that what they did wasn't "honorable." I think a woman can do the same.


----------



## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

No. Some men and women, married and single, play that game. My stbxw does and so I know it well. No they are not "honorable".


----------



## RisingSun90 (Mar 17, 2013)

True, I shouldn't have singled out just men.

It's just that I met a man recently that tried to spin it to me like that and I was just like ??????.

I didn't say anything to him but he's clearly delusional.


----------



## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

RisingSun90 said:


> True, I shouldn't have singled out just men.
> 
> It's just that I met a man recently that tried to spin it to me like that and I was just like ??????.
> 
> I didn't say anything to him but he's clearly *an a$$*.


There, I fixed that for you.


----------



## K.C. (Dec 1, 2012)

If you have a SO and are straight, anything you wouldn't do with a same sex fried is cheating IMO. Simplistic and black'n'white I know but that line has so far meant I can say I have never been remotely unfaithful to any girlfriend let alone fiancée/spouse.

People of both sexes are stooopid so we have to KISS to avoid problems.


----------



## ChelseaBlue (Mar 5, 2012)

RisingSun90 said:


> Do married men seriously think that fooling around (kissing, oral, etc) is not cheating? That just because he didn't put his d!ck in some woman makes everything else that did he ok? He's still an "honorable" guy because he didn't have sex?


Bill Clinton: Hillary, is that you?


----------



## SoxFan (Jun 9, 2012)

ChelseaBlue said:


> Bill Clinton: Hillary, is that you?


I was thinking the same thing.......lol


----------



## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

K.C. said:


> People of both sexes are stooopid so we have to KISS to avoid problems.


Keep
It
Simple
Stupid

Good advice for us all.


----------



## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Guess it depends on which men you ask. Some would say anything that isn't discovered isn't cheating. I figure anything I wouldn't say or do in the presence of my wife is wrong and anything I wouldn't want her to say or do with another man is also wrong for me to do.


----------



## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

2ntnuf said:


> No, but at one time, I did think differently. I am glad I learned that even just talking about personal issues with a woman other than my wife can be considered an emotional affair or at least the beginnings.


IMHO
It can be good to talk to someone other than your SO to help you get your thoughts into perspective and often the best way to see things from the "their side" is to talk to someone you trust who is of the same gender as their SO. I do not see this as in any way an EA (emotional affair) and surely if it was none of us could ever go to a marriage guidance session / talk to the minister / our doctor / mother / sister / old school friend / trusted co-worker. Come to that do people consider their time spent talking on here an EA.

If either partner thinks that the other talking to someone outside of the relationship about personal things is in anyway an affair then might I suggest that both need to talk about your trust issues.


----------



## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

For me, I "trust" that serious issues regarding the marriage are discussed inside the marriage or with a professional. You take another to be your spouse and agree to reserve that special status for them. For your spouse to then convey details of your relationship to someone outside without consent betrays the agreement.


----------



## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Yeah, it's not just men who try and justify their actions this way. The gate swings both ways on this one!


----------



## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Wiltshireman said:


> IMHO
> It can be good to talk to someone other than your SO to help you get your thoughts into perspective and often the best way to see things from the "their side" is to talk to someone you trust who is of the same gender as their SO. I do not see this as in any way an EA (emotional affair) and surely if it was none of us could ever go to a marriage guidance session / talk to the minister / our doctor / mother / sister / old school friend / trusted co-worker. Come to that do people consider their time spent talking on here an EA.
> 
> If either partner thinks that the other talking to someone outside of the relationship about personal things is in anyway an affair then might I suggest that both need to talk about your trust issues.


You sound like my husband. He was only talking to his female bff about our sex life because she's a nurse who would have valuable input into our sexual relationship. He only started a "friendship" with his trusted co-worker, whom he later had a sexting affair with, because he thought she could offer him guidance on the female perspective. He only started talking to the woman he met in a bar, and later that night had sex with, about his marriage problems in a search for help understanding his wife.

Should I have just continued to trust that him talking about our marriage to another woman was an innocent search for perspective? Do I need help for my "trust issues" because I thought him complaining about his wife to women he was attracted to was a bad idea? If you asked him, then yes it's all my problem and I'm suffering from pathological jealousy. 

People with sucky boundaries have affairs with the people they get emotionally close to in the course of looking for "help understanding their spouse's possible perspective." If they were really looking for help, then a professional, clergy person, or relative would be the place to find it. The hottie next door or the stud in the next cubicle isn't the appropriate place to learn about your spouse's issues with your marriage. Because those people are possible replacements for your spouse, and by painting your spouse as the spawn of Satan, you're pretty much advertising that you're looking for that replacement.

You want to know your spouse's perspective on something? Ask your spouse!


----------



## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

Shoto1984 said:


> For me, I "trust" that serious issues regarding the marriage are discussed inside the marriage or with a professional. You take another to be your spouse and agree to reserve that special status for them. For your spouse to then convey details of your relationship to someone outside without consent betrays the agreement.


 I vividly remember asking my mother if the mood swings / cravings my wife had during her first pregnancy were "normal". Surley it is better to seak advice than to plow ahead in ignorance.


----------



## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

And I agree. I guess we'd have to qualify "serious issues". Cheers!


----------



## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

2ntnuf said:


> No, but at one time, I did think differently. I am glad I learned that even just talking about personal issues with a woman other than my wife can be considered an emotional affair or at least the beginnings.


I still say eh, to that.


----------



## I got this (Feb 25, 2013)

Attributing anything to a whole gender is ignorant so anything after is it true [insert gender here] is doomed to absurdity.

So you met an idiot. Thats hardly reason to condemn half the population.

Get serious with the questions please.


----------

