# Liar Liar Pants on Fire



## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

I decided to post this thread here, even though some of the answers may not be about a spouse, however, this section seems to have the most visitors.

As some of you may know already, my sister is a pathological liar. We were raised NOT to lie because my father's brother was also a pathological liar. His name was Billy, so we call it THE BILLY GENE and my sister has it BIG time.

I thought it would be fun for you guys to post some of the whoppers you heard over the years by liars. Lies that you knew were lies. Lies so out there, your head was spinning. Plus, I am pissed at my sister right now for her lies, so I needed to vent. Why not share the fun? 

My sister told my friends brother that she had a masters degree in psychology (she is a waitress in a dive restaurant for the past 16 years.)

She told us she went UFC cage fighting, girls division, and beat the snot out of the girl. She never UFC cage fought.

She said that when she went bowling for the first time in years, she bowled a 298.

She says she runs about 7 miles every morning before work. NOT true, she stays up all night drinking and barely gets to work on time.

She works as a waitress in a dive, like a Denny's but not as nice  She tells us that she makes over 800 dollars a week in tips. If that were true, she wouldn't be struggling for money and living in a tiny apartment.

She told me she took a handful of drugs that could kill an elephant to kill herself, but she woke up like nothing happened. 

She got fired from two different jobs for stealing money and claims she was a victim of circumstances.

She told us that she ran one of the bars that she worked at. She was TOP DOG. We went to visit her there, SHE WAS THE COAT CHECK GIRL.

She said she had a pet spider who would follow her to everyone room she entered. 

She says she cannot make it to Christmas dinner because she and her old boyfriend would work at a soup kitchen feeding the poor. 

When her boyfriend was out of work, she said he bought her a $2000 Prada purse.

When my brother found Jesus Christ, she claimed to be a Pagan. 

She ran into my best friend's friend and told her out of the blue that my best friend's sister had seven abortions. Well, that news got back to my best friend and she called me all upset. If you knew or saw my best friend's sister, you would KNOW there are not seven men on the planet who would touch her with a ten foot pole. She is quite a mean and nasty person. But why did my sister say that about her when the lie could be proven wrong so quickly?

She told us she is saving to open her new restaurant right across the street from where she works now. Once her boss found out her plans, he BEGGED her not to because she is so great, she would steal all their business.

Now some of you may be thinking "she sounds like she is trying to build herself up to everyone because inside she feels she is not good enough." I agree with you. Trying to confront her is hell. She starts screaming, crying, and can get really evil. 

By the way, all the lies listed above were PROVEN to be lies by friends, family, acquaintances, etc. 

So, have you ever been told a whopper of a lie? Something you KNEW deep down into your toes? I am not talking lies like "I wasn't cheating on you." I am talking tiny little lies that mean nothing to no one. Lies just for lying sake. I look forward to your stories!


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

'i love you'


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I have a family member like your sister. It's hilarious because when he talks, we all just roll our eyes. God forbid he ever tells the truth! No one would care!

When I was 7, my mom told me to use soap in the bathtub and I said I did. She asked if I was sure, and I said yes...that it smelled like flowers and I soaped my whooooole body. She came into the bathroom and there was no soap in there. At all. LOL

When i was 5, I leaned over in front of my mom on the couch and spit on the carpet. I don't know why, I jsut wanted to. She said, in shock, "Did you just spit on the carpet?"  I said, "No."

:rofl:

I wasn't the brightest kid.

I can't lie now though. I will try sometimes and then instantly say, "wow! That was totally a lie! I just lied about that." hahaha


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## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

2nd_t!me iz_best said:


> 'i love you'


You are such a smart azz, you know that?:smthumbup:


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## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

that_girl said:


> I have a family member like your sister. It's hilarious because when he talks, we all just roll our eyes. God forbid he ever tells the truth! No one would care!
> 
> When I was 7, my mom told me to use soap in the bathtub and I said I did. She asked if I was sure, and I said yes...that it smelled like flowers and I soaped my whooooole body. She came into the bathroom and there was no soap in there. At all. LOL
> 
> ...


You were a little brat! By the way, do you still spit on the carpet? :rofl:


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Thankfully I don't spit at all! :rofl: I was a little turd. man o man.

I remember in middle school, I 'borrowed' my friend's PE clothes beacuse I forgot mine and would fail if i forgot them again.

I denied they were hers even when her name was on the tag and they were 2 sizes too big.

LOL I had issues.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

endlessgrief said:


> you are such a smart azz, you know that?


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## alone_not_lonely (Mar 22, 2012)

LOL. That soup kitchen thing... sounds like she had just been watching Four Holidays. I just can't wait for her to learn a new language for doing Christmas vaccinations overseas... you know, to make it "authentic". 
Hehe, that part of the movie really cracked me up because I know people who go to ridiculous lengths to cover their butts. They are not lying with malicious intentions or anything, mind you, hence why it's so hilarious


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Ever known someone who tells stories from their life and you sit there thinking, "This is part of a movie I've seen!!" and sure enough, it totally was from a movie?

lol.

My friend's wife is like this.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

2nd_t!me iz_best said:


> 'i love you'


Damn you for stealing my answer!!


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

tacoma said:


> Damn you for stealing my answer!!


gotta be quick...well, sometimes any ways


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

2nd_t!me iz_best said:


> gotta be quick...well, sometimes any ways


I would have been quicker but That Girl made me go to the gym.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

I work with a guy that was a sniper in nam,a body guard for nixon,a helicopter pilot, his kids got 4.75 gpa in high school dropped out of colledge because it didn't challange him enough now he work as a pizza hut manager. he has i big beer gut and frequently say this is all mussel it just sticks out like this because I hyper extended my back jumping out of everything that flys. shot a deer a 100yrd with a bow and arrow. his daughter is going to be on the next olympic scoccer team. I'm just sctatching the surface.

crazy.


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## ChelseaBlue (Mar 5, 2012)

endlessgrief said:


> I thought it would be fun for you guys to post some of the whoppers you heard over the years by liars. Lies that you knew were lies. Lies so out there, your head was spinning..... Why not share the fun?


Richard Nixon: I am not a crook!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Bill Clinton: I did not have sexual relations with that woman.


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

that_girl said:


> Bill Clinton: I did not have sexual relations with that woman.


My husband's friend paid for fake trophies - player of the year - etc. Had his apartment full of them. Also mounted snowboard in winter and surfboard in summer on roof of his car even though he did neither. Anything to get the girls.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Kurosity (Dec 22, 2011)

I knew a guy years ago that would rent a limo and show up where a large group of us would go for coffee and claim that he was rich and famous. We all new it was crap but some twits would believe him and ask for his picture and autograph (idiots). 
So does that make every teen going to prom rich and famous?


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## memyselfandi (Jan 10, 2012)

My ex husband was the champion of liars...

While he fooled around all over the place, I'd ask him a question about it and since he didn't have an immediate answer he'd say, "huh??"

There were times he'd lie and look me right in the eye and I'd repeat what he said and he'd say, "huh??"

Liers are one and the same..just plain liers. Some of us buy the lies..and the rest of us that are used to hearing them...well..by saying, "Huh..repeat that to me again..." they can't.

Funny, as you grow older...how quick we learn to see through lies, whether through friends..or our dear lying hubbies. Fool us once..it's our problem...fool us twice..hehe..we're onto you!!


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## alone_not_lonely (Mar 22, 2012)

My old boss told me he had an acquaintance who went to an island resort (near Spain, can't remember the island)... he didn't have a boat, so he hired a dinghy and rowed him and the wife in her faux pearls and him in his captain's outfit to just around the corner of a yatch club restaurant near a small wharf next to, but out of sight of the diners. Stepped into the restaurant looking like he owned the joint and promptly told a waiter off.

He also carried skis and snowboards on the roof racks of his hired beamer... nearly totally forgot about that guy til I saw that post.


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## CLucas976 (Jun 27, 2010)

biggest lie..

"I only had 2 drinks and then left the bar and 4 guys jumped me! I didn't do anything to them."

Yes, you guessed it, random gang violence in the middle of east bumf!ck.

Only two drinks, was really he was so wasted they had to wait until noon the next day for him to be sober enough to perform the required medical procedures.

I didn't do anything, really meant I got in their face, because they got in my buddies face, and tried to play tough guy by pinning one of them against a wall.

Four guys, was really one guy, who also ended up in the hospital.

but there was another part, "they were calling me a drug dealer, for no reason"

turned into a few weeks later, he drained our bank account and spent it on coke, and then bragged to my little brother on facebook about selling it.

I could go on forever, really. but that ones good enough for now.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I am accually a pretty obknoxious friend to have, but it seems my friends love me anyway.... cause if I feel they are fibbing in any way -or trying to pull the wool over my eyes...a little too far fetched, some stretched fabricated bragging BS going on.... I will look them right in the eyes & say ......."I don't believe you" .... 

One of our guy friends used to do this alot, I would just tell him -I don't believe you. Sometimes I would really tick him off ...he would still brag.. then I just let him know -that he is an official ASS... we'll still put up with him BUT....he is like the little boy who cried wolf, anytime he speaks, we don't know whether to believe him or not, it is like a roll of the dice. We even caught him a few times...cause he got his stories mixed up....he would attempt to 
talk his way out of that too. 

He stopped acting like this.....and got vulnerable with us telling us how he would say things to impress (but I told him as his friend, we don't want that.... be Real, we can RESPECT that )...... he kinda made his life like this - cause he didn't have much to show for it. Which is really kinda sad... but I don't need friends lying to us....... I can appreciate you -even if your life is a little boring or flat, not filled with others wanting you, thinking you are King...with excitement at every corner & glitter & glamer. He had a few things going for him, He was an excellent bowler, would win competitions & make the paper. But he was always trying to dress things up- to impress. 

One of his stories.... Stevie Nicks remembered him from a concert, called out his name -he was in the front row (yeah right).... He also was a Satanist , he had an out of body experience & met God, one of the women who died on 911 was a girl he was seeing on the plane that went down in PA. Oh my! Really -he thinks anyone would believe that ! He whips out this picture, God only knows who that was. 

One time I literally had it... He was seeing a Gf of mine, having some trouble with her, and was calling me up to deal with her... I laid into him so bad ....like all the irritation over the years came raging out in a flury to him in a clear but nasty way over that phoneline that day.... it was a phone conversation he has never forgotten...and has thanked me for many times over the years for doing it just as I did. It woke him up. He knew I was right, and he deserved every word.

He is more down to earth now, yeah, a changed man in this respect. Not sure what compels others to brag like this, I know he is a sanguine personality and in his case, I would site insecurity -to try to make himself look "more superier" than he feels he is - to put him on some plane to feel equal with others....but if you are going to lie, at least make it sound half reasonable. Ya know. Stevie Nicks, 911 girlfriend, Oh my Lord!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

One of Hubs' friends met a girl at a bar and then brought her over to dinner. She started talking about our friend and his life...and it started sounding a lot like....HUBS' LIFE! 

:rofl: Even a few stories that happened to Hubs on his motorcycle (friend didn't have a motorcycle). Stories about hubs' car racing (he ddin't even own a car, but borrowed friend's cars), stories about hubs' work (friend couldn't hold down a job). 

Hubs was gracious but I was a turd. Every story he said, I'd say, "That's soooo funny! The same thing happened to hubs! That's unreal how similar the stories are!"

What an idiot he was. Hubs and he had a falling out over other things but last we heard, he was still lying about his life with Hubs' stories.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

that_girl said:


> One of Hubs' friends met a girl at a bar and then brought her over to dinner. She started talking about our friend and his life...and it started sounding a lot like....HUBS' LIFE!
> 
> :rofl: Even a few stories that happened to Hubs on his motorcycle (friend didn't have a motorcycle). Stories about hubs' car racing (he ddin't even own a car, but borrowed friend's cars), stories about hubs' work (friend couldn't hold down a job).
> 
> ...


not very smart to bring her on a date where he would be found out


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## Frustrated_Me (Apr 9, 2012)

I knew a girl once who lied about everything! I mean EVERYTHING

She told a mutual friend that she had a completely different last name.

She told us that her childhood house was in a completely different city.

She told me that she taught my friend how to make a dish and how my friend sucked at it. (When in fact my friend gave her the recipe).

She told me that she paid a totally HUGE cab fare for a short ride (she said that was the standard rate).

She told me how she was the only college student who could afford a leather couch and flat screen TV, and how she had paid it on her own. (We found out that she actually lived with her bf who had already bought everything in advance)

She told us that she lived all by herself (refer to the previous lie)

and so on....

And we always wondered how she thought her lies would not be caught! What do these people think?


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

that_girl said:


> Bill Clinton: I did not have sexual relations with that woman.


George Bush (pere) "Read my lips. No new taxes."


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

Obama care!


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

"i don't remember hearing that."

"I don't remember saying that."


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