# Is it just me...



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

... or do others fear their S.O.s finding them on this site?

Or even, if both are on the same site at once seeking answers after a big fight... heh it's almost humorous :rofl:


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

Nope...no fears here. On occasion my SO will look over my shoulder, just being nosey. He doesn't "do" message boards, and rarely "does" the computer at all. When he does, it's music. Loves him the music. He might ask me what the latest drama is, and I'll answer. Then he'll just shake his head and go about his business.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

RandomDude said:


> ... or do others fear their S.O.s finding them on this site?
> 
> Or even, if both are on the same site at once seeking answers after a big fight... heh it's almost humorous :rofl:


Actually it did happen and the husband was furious and he pretended he's a viewer to reply his wife's thread. The wife soon figured out he sounded like her husband. They're actually fighting in the thread.

The thread was soon deleted.


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## Janie (Apr 10, 2010)

My husband followed me to this site and has fairly taken over. His presence here is dominant affording absolutely no anonymity for me. It is a bummer...


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

Nope, not worried. He knows I'm here. We don't keep secrets. If he wanted to read all my threads, I'd hand my laptop over to him and let him. He also knows that I have posted here about us. He knows I would be as fair as possible in describing a situation with us, and that I would try really hard not to make myself sound better and him sound worse. 

As for him joining, I doubt he would. This particular forum is not his thing. But if he did, I'd be all right with it. Heck, it might even be good...he could tell his side, I could tell mine, and we might get even better answers from the people who now get to see both sides. Huh...almost enough to make me want to talk him into joining...almost.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Heh I would panic and laugh at the same time if the missus found me really, heck I was even laughing at the whole possibility of even finding her here before I joined lol

But hell, perhaps if she knew, and read my posts, maybe she would actually start to understand. Like everything here is out from the heart, not said behind faces or pretenses like we tend to do to each other. But no... she may learn too much, hell I should delete a thread just in case...


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

RandomDude said:


> hell I should delete my divorce thread just in case...


And this thread too, it also has divorce in it. 

Be the way, my husband is on TAM. 

He seldom posts, his user name is Boker. 

We talk about TAM a lot. 

I am here because I have a lot of time which I don't know want to do!


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Heck, it's everywhere! In your post too! Heh


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## Mrs.LonelyGal (Nov 8, 2010)

No I don't fear my husband finding what I have written on this site.
Sometimes I will leave a thread open on our desktop so that he can see what I have been commenting on, or a post by someone else that I think he might need/want to read.
He did however get kinda weird when he saw my thoughts on anal sex.
Sometimes I wish he would join in the conversation, but mostly I like to keep this forum as my place to talk about marraige.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

I would think this is a great opportunity for a husband and wife to both participate and strengthen their marriage.

Why does it need to be anonymous if you're being honest with each other?


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Conrad said:


> I would think this is a great opportunity for a husband and wife to both participate and strengthen their marriage.
> 
> Why does it need to be anonymous if you're being honest with each other?


Good idea!!!

It works for couples who are looking to strengthen their marriages!


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

I post, my wife reads some of the threads that I point out.

Mostly it's a "O.M.G you have to read this one" reaction.

Sometimes I just turn to her and say I love her because she's not turning into ***whatever happened that was utterly bizarre on the thread I just read ***.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

RandomDude said:


> ... or do others fear their S.O.s finding them on this site?


I've always enjoyed various Forums (photography, Health, Philosophy, Christian, even Chevy boards when we have trouble with our SUV). 

My husband has known since day 1, I read him my threads when I get answers. Absolutely no secrets with us. I find myself talking to him about some of the stuff I read here quite often. I am just someone who is a little bit addicted to message boards when my mind is focused in a certain area.

I find Facebook utterly boring in comparison. There is just something about being able to post so openly -yet anonymously with other like minded souls.


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

I sent the link to my first post here to my husband. He then came to me and we talked about it. It really helped and I hadn't realized that I never laid out my feelings/thoughts like I did here for him to see. He checks in now and then and reads. Like Atholk, I often point out threads to him that flabbergast me or that make me appreciate him more. It's positive in that sense too.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

My husband thinks my interest in forums is silly. He is aware I do it, but has no interest in it himself. He IS aware that I credit my participating in a board like this with my being able to change from a typical naggy PITA into a more loving and open wife. 

No fear here. If he did not like something I wrote, we would discuss...


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## credamdóchasgra (Sep 24, 2010)

My hubs has a much lower tolerance for "relationship talk" than I do, and I have a higher need for it than he does.
I think he suspects I post on a forum or something, but I don't talk about any of it with him because I don't want to overwhelm him. It's enough I have him in therapy with me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SteppingStones (Dec 20, 2010)

my husband found this site. Started having me read some of the threads. So I got addicted and started reading threads on my own. Got to the point that I had to comment on a few, signed up and here I am.

My husband texted me the other day while he was at work about some post on the forum (that I wrote) and said, "that had to be you."

I didn't deny it but asked him to not go searching my user name for all posts written by me. Not because we can't talk about everything and anything between us, but because if I START a thread, I'm looking to toss around a thought or issue in my own mind (and with people I don't directly know IRL) before bringing it up to him -- kind of to flesh out the thought or gain some different opinions/perspectives...w/e.

He was totally okay with that. Come to find out he's been registered on this site for a few months and has made a few posts too.

Heh. So we both registered, and posted, and weren't gonna tell the other until we got "found out". Only a matter of time before one of us recognized the other - and since I tend to be more outspoken than he is, he found me first. 

It was just one more example to me of how much we think and operate alike.


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