# Is Their Any Point In Staying?



## braveheart2009 (Mar 25, 2009)

Hi,

I would like people's opinion on my issue. I think I know the answer, but want to reassure myself before I make a big decision in life that after 3 years of marriage and trying to make things work out if you find out you don't love your spouse is there any point in being with them? Can love develop over a longer period of time? I don't believe in love at first sight as I believe it develops through ups and downs in life, but I feel after 3 years is enough time to say stay or go? I don't want to be in the same situation 3-10 years from now saying the same thing feeling the same. 

Thanks.


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## Smackdown (Feb 21, 2011)

What made you marry her in the first place? What ever that reason was is it still true? If you loved her once you should always love her.
Mouse


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

Why isn't it working out? Why do you feel that you don't love your spouse anymore? It's hard to say whether you can/should walk away after 3 years without knowing more details about what the problems are. 

I divorced my first husband after 3 years of marriage. He'd cheated at least half a dozen times (that I could prove!), and was somewhat emotionally and sexually abusive. After 3 years worth of chances and 2 separations, I felt that I'd given him more than a fair chance. I think I was more than reasonable. 

But I've also known people who had their very first fight ever 3 years in and rather than try to work it out, they just filed for divorce. That seems pretty unreasonable to me. 

Have you done anything to try to change how things are? Marriage counseling, if needed? Changing how you interact with each other? Spending more/less time together (whichever could be needed)?Do you have kids? 

Whether you've given it enough time depends on so many different factors. But the main thing is deciding if you think it can be fixed or not, and if you feel you've done everything you can to be able to walk away and not look back later with regret and think "if only I'd...."


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I don't believe love is something than just spontaneously happens. I believe it's a daily choice and it aint always easy. If you've made the decision to commit, sometimes you're going to have to fake it till you can make it. I think the longer you remain committed the easier and more natural it becomes to continue loving someone. These old folks who have been married 60-70 years didn't make it that long because they married perfect partners. They were both too stubborn to quit all those times both felt like it.


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

How to Save Your Marriage the article and the youtube.

Yes it is possible to love again. Its possible for your marriage to be better than its ever been.


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