# Wife moved directly in with OM



## mwarrenk (Nov 13, 2012)

Me 30, wife 27, OM 53!!
no kids

My wife of 4.5 years has been, to my complete shock, having an affair for between 2 to 4 months. I confronted her 6 days ago after detecting something was a miss in the last few weeks. She admitted and then left and stayed with OM. 
We have met twice and I have explained how important her and the marriage are to me and that I am totally willing to work on the marriage if only she is willing. 
She stayed with friends for two days and said she "thought" about it, my inclination is that she knew the answer but thought she was somehow sparing my feeling  
Now she is moved out and living with him and just tonight emailed me saying she forgot her apron and scentsy oil burners.(like 30 bucks worth of stuff )and wanted me to get them together for her and leave them on the door step. 

Three questions:
1.What does it mean that she moved straight in with him?
2. Is moving in straight away abnormal
3.Is she trying to tear my heart apart asking for a domestic item like an apron or am I reading into it?

Any advice or thoughts welcome
Thank you


----------



## slater (Feb 3, 2012)

Give her nothing. Bag all of her stuff up in trash bags and put it in the yard. Do the 180.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

mwarrenk said:


> Me 30, wife 27, OM 53!!
> no kids
> 
> My wife of 4.5 years has been, to my complete shock, having an affair for between 2 to 4 months. I confronted her 6 days ago after detecting something was a miss in the last few weeks. She admitted and then left and stayed with OM.
> ...


1) Well, she rather be with him, that for sure. She's checked out of the marriage and thats all you need to know.

2) Nothing about any of this is 'normal'. It never is . 'Normal' is keeping your vows (at least to me).

3) Don't read into this. She just doesn't give a crap about you, she just wants her stuff. Pure indifference to you and your feelings.

Read Slater's post above. Do it.


----------



## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Who is this guy ? How did she meet him?

Expose her to family and friends...Expose the OM at his work place and his family


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

warlock07 said:


> Who is this guy ? How did she meet him?
> 
> Expose her to family and friends...Expose the OM at his work place and his family


Agree. Use a scorched earth policy and tell everyone you know about your wife's cheating ways as well as the old guy she's sleeping with. If she thinks it is so right, then she shouldn't mind everyone knowing about it.


----------



## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

Separate finances. Do not allow her access to your money. 

File for divorce and have her served at his house.

Get her off any insurance plans you have. If you have life insurance, change the beneficiary. Do not contact her or accept any contact from her. Send her one message directing her that all contact from now on will be through your lawyer.

Count yourself lucky that you found out the type of woman she is before having children with her.

Forget about her, move on with your life.


----------



## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

It means you get tested for STDs.
It means you go dark on her.
It means you need to lawyer up, to protect your stuff and finances yesterday.
It means you change the locks, you will bother later about the legal consecuences (tell you feared OM stealing your stuff).
It means if lawyer give you permission you get rid of all her stuff. Directly to the garbage can.
It means you find out who OM is and you mess with his life (legaly) all you can, just becuase.
It means you force yourself to move on with your life. Dark on her. Hard 180.
It means in the remote chance they last she will have to save for viagra and adult diapers while you bang younger chicks.

I'm so sorry man.


----------



## the liberal one (Nov 4, 2012)

track the OM and undermine him in a revenging manner career/family/friends etc by telling everyone you know

if you had a video or some message as evidence you can send it to everyone you know and to everyone OM knows (go nuke)

destroy their reputation thats all (it would be better if you or the OM had kids that will double the damage)


----------



## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

warlock07 said:


> Who is this guy ? How did she meet him?
> 
> Expose her to family and friends...Expose the OM at his work place and his family


Yes expose far and wide


----------



## jim123 (Sep 29, 2012)

File D first and foremost. Do not be plan B.

She sent the email to rub your nose in it by the way.

Do the 180 and no contact. Expose to everyone. Start moving on.

The affair will not last. She will get bored with dad.

You have to get control. Filing D is your best and only chance.


----------



## the liberal one (Nov 4, 2012)

i wonder that the chances of divorce and infidelity increases if you married young (before 24) thats the problem when i keep looking at those infidelity threads. People please don't marry early, marry after 30 yro. Women or men married before the 30s mark tend to be more immature and don't know their aims of life during their 20s.


----------



## Broken at 20 (Sep 25, 2012)

1. That her head is stuck so far up her ass she can't see 1 cm in front of her. So she can't see how much of a dumbass she'll look like when she takes this guy out shopping and people assume she is his daugther and taking care of him. Or when they go out to dinner and people think it will be a daughter/father out for their birthday. 
And that you wree plan B. Second runner up. Second place. The ultimate insult. The ace in the hole. 

2.Well, with her head stuck that far up her ass...I am surprised. Most WW that do something like this, take a MUCH longer time as they attempt to string out their BH so they can get as much money out of them as they can, while they have their fun with the AP. 
Lucky for you, you won't be getting strung out by her. 

3. No. She is wanting her sh!t back. 

Instead of giving it to her, how about you cut a giant heart out of it, and THEN give it to her?
Or set it on fire? 

And how about you start embarrasing this tramp? Like telling her parents, her friends, everyone. That way, hopefully she'll see how much a fool she is making herself out to be. And if you can still reconcile, it will be before she goes to far. 

But first off, I would suggest a 180, a filing for divorce, and then going to strip clubs to have fun. Because I found it very easy to forget about your problems for a little while at a strip club (unless your problem physically follows you to that club, like it did in my case)


----------



## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

Not only that Mwarrenk

But bag up everything of hers and drop it off at the POSOM's place.

Lock up all bank accounts.

Cut off any shared credit cards.

Lock her out of yourhome.

Cancel her cellphone if it is on your account.

Cut her off!

That should let her know how you feel about her decision.

Then go see an attorney so you understand your rights.

The get tested for STD's.

And let her parents know the POSOM is close to their age.

Oh how that will go over with Mom & Dad!!!

Have a great life. Just get rid of the boat anchor first.


----------



## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

happyman64 said:


> Not only that Mwarrenk
> 
> But bag up everything of hers and drop it off at the POSOM's place.
> 
> ...


Do all of this. Be glad you didn't have children with her. Don't take her back. She's not a keeper.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## the liberal one (Nov 4, 2012)

destroy her and OM since theres no children involved you can do it as you please


----------



## roostr (Oct 20, 2012)

I was just going to say what Ovid said above my post, at the point where you are at, be thankful there are no children involved. As devistating as this can be for you, at 30 you basically have an entire life ahead of you. I was where you are now in my late 20s, after the split I started living a great life at which point I met my current wife.....Start thinking about yourself, what the others say about doing a 180 seems to be the way to go, Id personally tell her I burned the apron, or that I need it for my new girl who is going to be "cooking me dinner in your kitchen".


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Post the OM on cheaterville.com
End all joint credit cards
Exposé wide and far to freinds and family, both her and his 
Cut off access to joint money, stop deposit your pay to joint accounts, stop contributing to your 401k so she can't get half of it.
Hire a shark lawyer to go nuclear on her
If the work together expose her and him at work,


----------



## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> Post the OM on cheaterville.com
> End all joint credit cards
> Exposé wide and far to freinds and family, both her and his
> Cut off access to joint money, stop deposit your pay to joint accounts, stop contributing to your 401k so she can't get half of it.
> ...


:iagree:

At the risk of sounding like a broken record:

*Listen to Shaggy !*


----------



## Lordhavok (Mar 14, 2012)

These guys are giving you good advice dude, I know your hurting and all, but listen up, you'll be better off in the long run. Dont take her back! You were second place, dont stand for that. Your still very young and you will find someone who will treat you right, her affair will fall apart on its own, expose this crap and never look back. 
Broken at 20 is right, the strip clubs really helped me through my divorce. If thats your thing. Nothing better to take your mind off of a chick than looking and watching 20 other chicks.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Firstly, I am so sorry this happened to you. 

*1.What does it mean that she moved straight in with him?*

It means you she has prioritized him over your marriage. It means she is gone.

*2. Is moving in straight away abnormal*

For a normal person, yes. For a wayward, no. For someone who is committed to their marriage, yes. Which shows, she is not.

*3.Is she trying to tear my heart apart asking for a domestic item like an apron or am I reading into it?*

Probably not. In her mind, she doesn't has not fully grasped what she has done. She is probably trying to make this as "neat" as possible but there is no "neat" wen a marriage is torn apart. She is also acting so nonchalant about everything because you are playing a part in it by continuing to talk to her and telling her you are willing to take her back.

So stop.

Don't beg. Don't cling. Accept that she is gone and you deserve WAY better. Man up. 

If I were you, I'd box up her stuff and put it on your doorstep and send her a voicemail saying "Your stuff is outside. You can come by to get it on Date/Time." Do not speak to her about anything other than legalities at this point. Do not answer her phone calls, texts, nothing. She chose this for both of you. You owe her nothing. She wants out, so you open up the door and let her go. 

The absolute WORST THING EVER you can do in this situation is beg her back. She will not respect you if you do that.

You're 30 and have no kids. Good. You will meet someone else. File and let her go.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Copy/pasting my response to another poster here yesterdeay which is relevant to your thread.

Heed the advice:



Jellybeans said:


> Look, unless you want to be seen as a stalker/stage-5 clinger, you need to seriously let go. She has already told you straight up:
> 
> *SHE DOES NOT WANT TO BE WITH YOU.* (She left you)
> 
> ...


----------



## ArmyofJuan (Dec 29, 2010)

mwarrenk said:


> Three questions:
> 1.What does it mean that she moved straight in with him?


It means she's an idiot and this marks the beginning to the end of the A. Nothing kills an A faster than living with the AP. I predict in 2 -3 months she’ll be wanting to get out of it (could go as high as 6 months).


> 2. Is moving in straight away abnormal


It is not unusual but it is careless and shows how little thought was put into it. Moving so fast in a relationship usually spells disaster. 


> 3.Is she trying to tear my heart apart asking for a domestic item like an apron or am I reading into it?


You are reading into it. Show her NO respect and since you have no kids then I would completely ignore her. File for a divorce ASAP and have her served and DO NOT TALK TO HER. Don’t answer phone calls/txt/emails, let her think you died.

In a couple of months she’ll be begging you to talk to her and you need to tell her to go to hell. She just showed you what a terrible wife she is, don’t reward her with your attention.

Don't try to win her back, you will FAIL and make yourself look pathetic for even trying. She will be more attracted to you if you simply turn your back on her and show her you can be just fine without her.


----------



## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

The Keyser Söze...

Shock and awe, mass destruction, destroy everything and everyone. Metaphorically, or course.

Then poof... Your gone. Dark, and silent. No communicating.


----------



## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

THE KEYSER........



lol.


----------



## Hoosier (May 17, 2011)

Dude, sorry for your troubles. Let me set the scene for you....Last July I confront my wife of 30 years about texts on her phone. She goes upstairs, packs two suitcases and WALKS the 5 blocks to my friends house, moves right in, files for divorce the next day, we D in 82 days. They were married July of this year. She is 52 he is 65. I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE COMING FROM.

Take Jellys and others advice about the 180, divorce, no contact. In the 180 it is about YOU, take care of you, improve you. 

The deal: She no longer loves you, nor desires to be around you. She sees no value in you. She is in an A and the drug is great! She will most likely NEVER come out of it, never be the same. You have got to be better for you. Must move on! Believe me I know this is hard, even tho I have been Divorced for a year, met and dated some of the nicest women on this earth. Even tho my kids (all adults) now plan us getting together, when they forget to call their mother. Even tho, for me, STILL A BATTLE, as it will be for you. Go to counseling, even if only for a couple of visits. So sorry. and Thank God you have no children.


----------



## kruppmart (May 10, 2012)

My story is similar but different. Me 47, she 40, OM 51 (divorced since 11 months). Married 5 years, no children together.

After I found out that my STBXW had an EA, I tried to save my marriage. I did not know TAM at this time so I made big mistakes (i.e. did not 180). After 4 months, I found out that the EA had turned into a PA, finding her having sex with the OM.

Long story short, she put a protection order on me, so I could not go back into my own house. The OM moved in within 2 weeks, despite the fact that she has 3 children (from a previous marriage), ages 13,16,19 living in my house.

I filed for divorce and it took 4 months to get her and the POSOM out of my house. They moved into a rented condo. He is paying for it and all utilities, but lost a job he had only for 4 months.

I had no contcat since D-day, due to the protection order. First, it was difficult, but now I know it was a blessing.

My advice is the same others are giving: Do the 180, file for divorce, and don't communicate with her if not necessary. It will be ahrd for a while, but it will get better.

Take care of yourself and forget the POS which you called once your wife.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

If you have a will, change it.

Also, you can have a legal notice published in your local paper/s:

_*To whom it may concern: As of xx November, 2012, Gladys Over is no long living with her husband at her former address. Mr Over would like to point out that her current address is that of Mr Chea Ting of xxxx St, Cheaterville. Mr Over would like to state that as of the above date, Mr Over has no responsibilities for any debts entered into by Gladys Over. This notice is published by Mr Over.*_


----------



## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Good point MattMatt and save the publication from the paper.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Michie (Aug 26, 2012)

Put ALL her belongings outside, start a 180.
She is in the fog, only drastic measures on your end will penetrate it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## didntcitcoming (Oct 15, 2012)

The only advice I can give you is advice that a good friend gave me....I'm not sure it is the best way to go, but....

"The only way to get over a girl is to get under a girl!" :smthumbup::smthumbup:

Hope it helps!! Goodluck....


----------



## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> Post the OM on cheaterville.com
> End all joint credit cards
> Exposé wide and far to freinds and family, both her and his
> Cut off access to joint money, stop deposit your pay to joint accounts, stop contributing to your 401k so she can't get half of it.
> ...


Also work on yr self start exercising etc taking care of yr self this is the number 1 thing you can do 
For yrself its a great stress reliever and start up old or new hobbies taking care of yrself will help 
Increase yr self esteem there are billions of females out there that would treat you.a lot better than this take yr time 
Good luck
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## mwarrenk (Nov 13, 2012)

Thank you everyone. Your posts really made me feel better. 

Update
I moved to a studio and boxed all remaining stuff, including what she asked for and the furniture and placed in storage and told her she was welcome to get whatever she liked. She never got the stuff. 
No communication since 11-13-12...and it is killing me. 
I went and talked to a lawyer.
I am in the process of taking her name off all the accounts I have access to. Problem is all we have is debt since I am going through graduate school. 
Trying to move on. But so so hard.
She is still living with him and is currently off for the holidays visiting his family. I feel like a caged animal.


----------



## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Do you know who he is? Do you know his family? Did you expose to her family and your family if not what are you waiting for?


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Instead of taking her name off the accounts - make a new account and move all the money over!

HAVE you exposed her? 

Have you posted him and her to cheaterville.com??


----------



## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

Warren

You are free.

Keep her out of your life and go find a nice girl.

Let your STBX take care of "Grandpa" on her dime and time.

HM64


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

How does she know the OM? Do they work together???

if so expose it to HR at his work.


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Stay strong brother, the best thing for you to do is from here on out, any time you have to engage with your wife, be positive and out going. make believe she is doing you a favor by leaving, so smile. A perception that will make her second guess her choices.

Yes hard to do, but fake it until you make it. You will get thru this and when OM is 73 and your wife is 47...she will be calling you out of the blue to see how you are doing, and thats when you can really let her have it.

Right now you can't compete with her fog so let her go with a smile on your face, hell she might come back sooner then you think when she see's you will no longer wait around for her and especially when you start hanging out with other chicks. For some reason that really gets them.

It may not feel like it but its the best thing she ever did for you. So get out there and work out and buy some new clothes and show her and others that you are a confident man that will not be defined by an adultorus women.


----------



## mwarrenk (Nov 13, 2012)

I want to expose her and him and really make a big scene. I really do. But she knows so so much about me. Everything I have every thought...even the stuff you normally wouldn't tell people, I told her. I thought that's how open communication with your wife should be. I am beginning to rethink that. 

I have told my family and she has told her family and friends. People know I just don't want them knowing all my secrets and messed up things I think and have said. I can see how what I did and didn't do contributed to her feelings and want to do this and leave me. But I do not think it excuses her actions. 

How do you guys deal with anxiety related to this type of thing.


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

When i was going thru this crap i had a montra I kept repeating to my self a hundred time an hour.

Ever time an tought came in to my head about my wife and OM i repeated " I deserve good thing" over and over again. For me it forced the bad out of my head and made me focus on what i needed to de for my self. 

Its so easy to get stuck in a pity party, so do your best to get out of the house and work on your healthy. Do not let her define you....you diserve good things!


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

You have to have an ego and the confidence to be better then you once were and make the change not for your wife but for your self.

Raising your own attraction level will give you the strenght...and I'm not just talking about your looks... your mind has to stay healthy so keep looking on the bright side and always move forward, know you do diserve good things.


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

mwarrenk said:


> I want to expose her and him and really make a big scene. I really do. But she knows so so much about me. Everything I have every thought...even the stuff you normally wouldn't tell people, I told her. I thought that's how open communication with your wife should be. I am beginning to rethink that.
> 
> I have told my family and she has told her family and friends. People know I just don't want them knowing all my secrets and messed up things I think and have said. I can see how what I did and didn't do contributed to her feelings and want to do this and leave me. But I do not think it excuses her actions.
> 
> How do you guys deal with anxiety related to this type of thing.


Assume anything nasty about you - she is already telling everyone - to justify her actions.

When you say she has told her family and friends , you can certain she has said everything, every single thing is your fault and that the old POSOM is a friend helping her. There is no way she'd admit to being a trashy cheater with a old fart.

Stop think and act. She did. She did a crappy thing, but she seems to have a lot more balls than you do for fighting for things. 

sorry - I'm not trying to often you. I AM trying to get to stop being passive and actually take action.

Expose the directly to HR on Monday. Send a registered letter to the Director of HR , stating you are informing them of an adulterous relationship between your wife and X.

Post both of them on cheaterville.com TODAY

Next call your wife's family and tell them your side.

Next call any mutual close friends and tell them too. She's a cheater and she ran off with the POSOM.


----------



## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Unless you killed someone or beat the crap out of her everyday go ahead and call her family and friends nobody is perfect and if it is a coworker expose both of them at work companies usually frown on this.


----------



## mwarrenk (Nov 13, 2012)

The guy has his own business and works out of home I think. She was doing freelance copywriting for him...or at least that's what she told me. No telling how deep the lies go. So now real way to expose to any coworkers...cause I have no clue of his dealings. Heck I don't even know the address my own freaking wife is staying at. She is evil.


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

All the better - POST HIM on CHEATERVILLE.COM asap. that way when clients look him up, they'll find out he's a POSOM as well.


----------



## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

mwarrenk said:


> The guy has his own business and works out of home I think. She was doing freelance copywriting for him...or at least that's what she told me. No telling how deep the lies go. So now real way to expose to any coworkers...cause I have no clue of his dealings. Heck I don't even know the address my own freaking wife is staying at. She is evil.


If he's on Cheaterville any prospective clients will see him if they google.

Those with scruples may ditch him.


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Get a good lawyer.

As part of discovery get copies of all payments made from him to her.

you may be able to go after him or his business as part of this.


----------



## DavidWYoung (Feb 3, 2012)

I would not say anything bad about her. Just say that it was not meant to be. Do the 180, work out, finish school and start a new life without this TOXIC leach in your life. Good luck and God Bless. Keep us posted on your thoughts good or bad , we will listen.


----------



## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

DavidWYoung said:


> I would not say anything bad about her. Just say that it was not meant to be. Do the 180, work out, finish school and start a new life without this TOXIC leach in your life. Good luck and God Bless. Keep us posted on your thoughts good or bad , we will listen.


Call her parents tell them you need an address so she can be properly served.


----------



## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

Please go see your doctor about your anxiety. There are some good medications that will calm you.

I'm sorry about this but please don't take it personally & understand it is not that unusual - young woman/older man. You said you are in graduate school. Are you waiting to start your career?

If you are more or less a struggling student right now, this man may have money which could be the main motivator for your wife. He may be offering her a house, car, jewelry, etc.

This happened to my husband's first wife. Her older boss dangled the money carrot; she kicked out my husband (she was 29) & moved the OM in. He was married & never intended to leave his wife; just used her for sex. It was a disaster because they had 2 children. He eventually left her - of course.

I'm sharing the above story so that you will not take any blame for your wife's affair. You are so lucky you don't have any children. In time, the OM may tire of your wife or he may even be married (you really don't know much about him right now).

If the OM ends the affair, she may come crawling back to you. My advice is to not take her back. She's broken & may never be fixed.

I wish you well during this horrific time.


----------



## mwarrenk (Nov 13, 2012)

You guys and girls have given great advice and I really appreciate it. 

I have had no contact at all with her for 6 days. In this time she has been with OM. Tonight she sent this text

"I've been trying to respect your wish to not talk, but I wanted you to know that I think of you with every breath I take and miss talking to you very much"

WTF?? I am trying to do the 180. But all I know of it is from what I read on the internet. I obviously want to call and talk or text back....But I am not going to do that. I know I am supposed to treat her like an acquaintance...but my question is how do I respond to that? Just so you know I moved to a studio, am in process of splitting finances, put her crap in storage and talked to a divorce lawyer. There are still a few financial things I need to email her about and figure out where to serve the papers. 

The question is...what should I say and with what tone?

Thanks so so much


----------



## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

> "I've been trying to respect your wish to not talk, but I wanted you to know that I think of you with every breath I take and miss talking to you very much"


When you are ready send one reply back to her then go silent.

Your response could be:

"You have the strangest way of showing me that you are always thinking of me and miss talking to me by living with an OM while still married to me.....

Have a great life with GrandPa!""

Then send her D papers. That sends her a very clear message.


----------



## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

mwarrenk said:


> "I've been trying to respect your wish to not talk, but I wanted you to know that I think of you with every breath I take and miss talking to you very much"


She texted this while living with OM?
Can she really believe that crap?
People is realy crazy.

Please don't honor this text. Save it for future laughs.


ETA
I really like HM64 response... just the last line.
*Have a great life with GrandPa!*


----------



## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

happyman64 said:


> When you are ready send one reply back to her then go silent.
> 
> Your response could be:
> 
> ...


LOL not a bad idea.

Or just a colder: "got it"


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

mwarrenk said:


> You guys and girls have given great advice and I really appreciate it.
> 
> I have had no contact at all with her for 6 days. In this time she has been with OM. Tonight she sent this text
> 
> ...


You never respond to any texts she sends - ESPECIALLY anything that is just a POOR POOR ME I FEEL SOO SAD. 

Instead of responding to those say outloud "Gee REALLY? Then I guess I should warn the OM your thinking about me when your with him then? It's like your cheating on him with me in your head. The poor guy". 

say that out loud a few times and see if you have any desire to respond to her.

---

Take your stuff. Take all the money even. Let her pursue you to get it. 

STOP BEING NICE to her. That's just enables her. Going dark means no messages none. IF you can block her # from your phone, then do that to. she's had zero to say to you that helped in anyway, so why keep reading her crap?


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

mwarrenk said:


> "I've been trying to respect your wish to not talk, but I wanted you to know that I think of you with every breath I take and miss talking to you very much"


One option might be to have it printed on a tshirt and under the quote add ".. sent from my loving wife from her POSOM's bed"

then include it in any of the stuff she is going to pick up from you.


----------



## mwarrenk (Nov 13, 2012)

Hahaha these replies are awesome. So funny. I wish I could do them all!


----------



## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> One option might be to have it printed on a tshirt and under the quote add ".. sent from my loving wife from her POSOM's bed"
> 
> then include it in any of the stuff she is going to pick up from you.


Anything worth of value that she owned I would pawn and like Shaggy take all the money and if you are hurting financially, find a roommate on craigslist (preferably female) just kidding


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

You're wife is in for some real fun. At 53 this guy is not on the good side of the best before date stamp. Maybe you should send him a couple boxes of donuts and a case of beer thanking him for taking her off your hands.

Now you can upgrade to a much saner and younger woman.

You're in school that's very good. A very very good place for meeting women!


----------



## jim123 (Sep 29, 2012)

mwarrenk said:


> Hahaha these replies are awesome. So funny. I wish I could do them all!


Do not respond. Can you use a third party to ask about her stuff. Start moving on with your life. Get out some. Do some things. Get some exercise and eat well.


----------



## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Don't reply..Just send her back a "Don't contact me"

She is sending you feelers just in case the OM doesn't work out..


----------



## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

warlock07 said:


> Don't reply..Just send her back a "Don't contact me"
> 
> She is sending you feelers just in case the OM doesn't work out..


:iagree:


----------



## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

warlock07 said:


> Don't reply..Just send her back a "Don't contact me"
> 
> She is sending you feelers just in case the OM doesn't work out..


Exactly.

*She's keeping you on the hook while liviing with another man, while still being married to you.*

Let that last sentence burn into your mind.

And if she ever manages to reel you in just remember 

She must realize, somewhere in her fog shrouded brain, that her relationship with POSOM is not too stable. She needs you dangling on the hook, just in case.

She *can* be replaced with a woman who is, I don't know,
mature,sane,honest, and loving?

You can't replace your self respect when you lose it.


----------



## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

So mwarennK have you done any of the things that you have been advised?

If not what have you done?


----------



## mwarrenk (Nov 13, 2012)

To answer your question WyshIknew as to what I have done.

I don't call, text her. I have only emailed a couple of times regarding divorce. Like to get address to serve papers....cause I don't even know where my own wife is!! drives me crazy. Got a new bank account, canceled cards, she is off my phone plan. Did a credit check and talked to a lawyer. Going to try filing on my own because I don't have any money...actually I have negative money from school loans. 

She is catty in her emails regarding money and splitting of things...and then turns around and sends another email 5 mins later telling me new episodes of a show I like are available. :scratchhead: She is bonkers.

On thanksgiving sends a text (which I did not reply to) saying she was in Memphis (where we used to live while I went to school to give her a better [email protected]@cking life!) and she said. "In Memphis for Thanksgiving. Feels very strange..." 

She is EVIL.

Her parents know, her friends know, my family knows, she does NOT care about what they think. 

I am trying to make simple dates with women and exercise. Sleeping is still hard and I am pretty much dependent on Benadryl or Meletonin to fall asleep. I have returned to clinicals at the hospital and am performing well. 

It just doesn't feel real and I can not comprehend how she could leave without even trying. But I know that is what reality is.


----------



## Pointegirl (Nov 21, 2012)

mwarrenk said:


> .
> 
> Her parents know, her friends know, my family knows, she does NOT care about what they think.
> 
> It just doesn't feel real and I can not comprehend how she could leave without even trying. But I know that is what reality is.


I think this is going to be my reality as well. I feel as though zi am reading what my life will be like very soon. Barf.


----------



## Jonesey (Jul 11, 2011)

mwarrenk said:


> To answer your question WyshIknew as to what I have done.
> 
> I don't call, text her. I have only emailed a couple of times regarding divorce. Like to get address to serve papers....cause I don't even know where my own wife is!! drives me crazy. Got a new bank account, canceled cards, she is off my phone plan. Did a credit check and talked to a lawyer. Going to try filing on my own because I don't have any money...actually I have negative money from school loans.
> 
> ...


----------



## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

Don't expend any more energy on her. Its just like everyone said. She's trying to keep you as an option. She may even be having second thoughts and want to go back. You don't want her. Not at all.she's toxic and can only be an awful wife.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

She is baiting you with her text messages. She is making sure that her plan B is there for her when the sex fest ends and OM throws her under the bus. Don't fall for it.
Pwan everything you have, get some money for yourself. Keep yourself busy with your friends and activities.
Hard 180 is your best friend. 
Detach detach detach...............


----------



## A++ (May 21, 2012)

mwarrenk said:


> I am trying to make simple dates with women and exercise. Sleeping is still hard and I am pretty much dependent on Benadryl or Meletonin to fall asleep. I have returned to clinicals at the hospital and am performing well.
> 
> It just doesn't feel real and I can not comprehend how she could leave without even trying. But I know that is what reality is.


I feel for you, take care of yourself.

You deserve way better..


----------



## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

Use the mental movies to help you detach.

But edit them so he's a dinky thing with a wrinkled butt. That is probably her reality.


----------



## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

mwarrenk said:


> To answer your question WyshIknew as to what I have done.
> 
> I don't call, text her. I have only emailed a couple of times regarding divorce. Like to get address to serve papers....cause I don't even know where my own wife is!! drives me crazy. Got a new bank account, canceled cards, she is off my phone plan. Did a credit check and talked to a lawyer. Going to try filing on my own because I don't have any money...actually I have negative money from school loans.
> 
> ...


I think you are doing as well as expected.

I'm not sure how these things work, but do her parents know where she is? Could you serve her through them?

Has she still not told you where to serve her with papers?

Can you not serve her at work? Hopefully major embarrasment for her and her employers depending on their HR code of conduct.


----------



## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Block her email. Perhaps send one email to her telling her that she has 24 hours to send you her current address. Then block her.


----------



## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

WyshIknew said:


> I think you are doing as well as expected.
> 
> I'm not sure how these things work, but do her parents know where she is? Could you serve her through them?
> 
> ...


Re-reading the thread I'm not sure if your wife is working as you mention she was doing freelance copyrighting for him. (hmmm).

If that is the case then you can only manage this through her parents.
Failing that you may have to pay to have her served.


----------



## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

You know what field he is in. You know his name. I'm SURE he called her cell phone or her house. Maybe one of the times was on a land line which a reverse phone directory will point out his name.

Or you could set up a fake business meeting with him about some copy at a restaurant or coffee house, and then call and cancel. I assume you can recognize him. Have a friend make the appointment so it's not displaying your phone number or name. When he leaves, follow him home.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Credit check him. If he works from home, his home address will show up. Then you can serve her at his home address.


----------



## mwarrenk (Nov 13, 2012)

I want to contact her so bad. That is why I am writing here now. She keeps sending me texts and emails telling me she misses me and she wishes I would talk to her. I read and reread all of your posts to stay strong. I will not contact her.


----------



## jim123 (Sep 29, 2012)

mwarrenk said:


> I want to contact her so bad. That is why I am writing here now. She keeps sending me texts and emails telling me she misses me and she wishes I would talk to her. I read and reread all of your posts to stay strong. I will not contact her.


Keep getting out and moving on. Make it your choice and not hers. Why would you want her back.

Take care of yourself. Do not be weak. Take control of your life and you will feel much better.

Trust me, you can do better. It is a man's world.


----------



## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

mwarrenk said:


> I want to contact her so bad. That is why I am writing here now. She keeps sending me texts and emails telling me she misses me and she wishes I would talk to her. I read and reread all of your posts to stay strong. I will not contact her.


Ignore her. Do not be weak in her eyes.

Do not be at her beck and call.

She lost that option.


----------



## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

mwarrenk said:


> I want to contact her so bad. That is why I am writing here now. She keeps sending me texts and emails telling me she misses me and she wishes I would talk to her. I read and reread all of your posts to stay strong. I will not contact her.


Wow

She leaves you and lives with OM and wants to talk to you because she misses you.

I glad you see how bizarre,weird, effed up that is.

If you do give in and talk to her she'll know that she can pull your strings at any time. I'm thinking she gets off on that.

This is you being kept as a Plan B, and a cuckold to be humiliated at her whim.

Ignore her. Proceed with the D


----------



## Numbersixxx (Oct 10, 2012)

mwarrenk said:


> I want to contact her so bad. That is why I am writing here now. She keeps sending me texts and emails telling me she misses me and she wishes I would talk to her. I read and reread all of your posts to stay strong. I will not contact her.


Be alpha bro, ignore her. If you have the itch to write something, do it here.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

Malaise said:


> Wow
> 
> *She leaves you and lives with OM and wants to talk to you* because she misses you.


May be to inform him how great her OM is. How great ****er her OM is.

Run man run to the mountains. Consider yourself blessed because you know you got the chance to see her true colors before having any children.


----------



## mwarrenk (Nov 13, 2012)

I think she some how got into my email or it is still auto forwarding my email to her...even though her email doesn't show up anywhere in the settings section. If that is the case then she probably has been reading everything on this forum that I have written. If thats the case I appreciate all the help. And if you reading this exwife to be...shame on you.


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Mrs. mwarrenk: Your soon to be X husband is about to find love in the arms of another woman. Jealous? He's going to have kids with this other woman too. Have a nice life...


----------



## MrHappyHat (Oct 24, 2012)

mwarrenk said:


> I want to contact her so bad. That is why I am writing here now. She keeps sending me texts and emails telling me she misses me and she wishes I would talk to her.


Wow! What this tells me is that she had you friendzoned so ****ing hard before the affair that she didn't even view you as a mate.

Every text she sends has the subtext of, "Where has my androgynous lap-dog gone?"


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

How about this then:

Dear Mrs.Mwarrenk. 

Stop being a cheating lying you-know-what. Stop wasting your betrayed husband's time with your ongoing lies about how much you miss him.

Do you know why you're not seeing him ? It's because you chose to be a cheater and be in another man's bed.


----------



## old_soldier (Jul 17, 2012)

mwarrenk said:


> I think she some how got into my email or it is still auto forwarding my email to her...even though her email doesn't show up anywhere in the settings section. If that is the case then she probably has been reading everything on this forum that I have written. If thats the case I appreciate all the help. And if you reading this exwife to be...shame on you.


"SHAME ON YOU". Are you kidding me? This woman you call your wife is a *cruel, cold hearted which*. 

Good Lord man, do you really think she cares? She doesn't. She just wants you to contact her so she can rub it in to you that you are not man enough for her. Do not fall for that crap. 

I'm guessing that you are really a nice guy at heart and feel too much for her. She made her intentions perfectly clear. She's out! Gone! She doesn't want you, and make no mistake about it, you do not need her. 

Get a grip man. I know it hurts right now, but you will heal and move on. She will always be a cruel, heartless which.

Take care my friend, stay strong, you will be OK.


----------



## Jonesey (Jul 11, 2011)

mwarrenk said:


> I want to contact her so bad. That is why I am writing here now. She keeps sending me texts and emails telling me she misses me and she wishes I would talk to her. I read and reread all of your posts to stay strong. I will not contact her.


Here is what i would have done regarding her emailing you.

Forward those email to OM(If you have his email) Or to some one that know´s him.And simply say..Hey man tell "your" Girlfriend
to stop the fek emailing me..

Would love to be a fly on that wall when he read´s them


----------



## Cdelta02 (Sep 20, 2012)

Any updates?


----------



## old timer (Nov 23, 2012)

Numbersixxx said:


> Be alpha bro, ignore her. If you have the itch to write something, do it here.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:iagree:

Yes - share it here. NC w/ her.

re. "alpha" read here:
Alpha Game: The socio-sexual hierarchy

BTW, *mwarrenk* - you don't have to be tall and good-looking to be alpha.


----------



## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Any update?


----------



## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

My ex h moved in his gf 3 days after I moved out insisting he never cheated on me. Yeah right, other women came fourth and told me they slept with my husband while we were married after I divorced him. There were two best friends fighting for my ex.lol. When you hear this, you can imagine how unfaithful he was. He slept with any female that would reciprocate. 

The gf that moved in are still together and now married. Guess what? He cheats on her too. What did she expect? A faithful husband?

Anyways, cut your losses here. It's not worth it. Grab her things and set them outside. File for divorce if you haven't already. Try your best to move on. There are faithful people out there. Your "STBXW" will cheat again. 

I married a very faithful man the second time thank goodness. I don't have any issues with my current husband and I fully trust him.


----------

