# I'm soothing to look at?



## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

Hi guys, 

My husband told me the other day that when he looks at me, it's 'soothing' to him.
I took it as a compliment & didn't question him. But I got to thinking about it because it was interesting to hear that.

How is looking at your wife soothing? 
Does that make sense to you?

I am not the most beautiful woman, but more like the girl next door. Nothing spectacular. 
So sometimes, when he says these things I'm surprised, but of course happy to hear I can have such an effect.

Then I thought maybe he feels like this when looking at any relatively attractive woman. Hmmm...so, do men tend to feel 'soothed' when looking at any attractive woman or should I feel extra-special ; )


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Gosh DANG this one's a loaded question. On a par with "honey, do these jeans make my butt look big?" 

But seriously, I take his compliment to mean he takes comfort in you. That's a positive thing. That comfort is soothing to him. I think that's one way to tell you he loves you.

Whew! How's that?


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## Lone Shadow (Aug 5, 2014)

Seems to me as if BP is spot on. I was going to say much the same thing.


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## texasoutlaw82 (Dec 27, 2013)

thatbpguy said:


> Gosh DANG this one's a loaded question. On a par with "honey, do these jeans make my butt look big?"
> 
> But seriously, *I take his compliment to mean he takes comfort in you. *That's a positive thing. That comfort is soothing to him. I think that's one way to tell you he loves you.
> 
> Whew! How's that?


:iagree:


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

thatbpguy said:


> But seriously, I take his compliment to mean he takes comfort in you. That's a positive thing. That comfort is soothing to him. I think that's one way to tell you he loves you.


This.

[/thread]


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

does he fall asleep from your gaze?


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## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

Hahaha. I know what your man means. 

He is trying to tell you that your presence makes him feel calmer inside. Not really a needy thing, but more of a "I feel calm and very comfortable in the presence of my beloved."

Take it as a compliment even if it CAN be interpreted in many ways.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Take it for what it means.

It's a complement (nice one too)....yet you seem offended by it?

Issue resides on YOUR end OP.


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## SpinDaddy (Nov 12, 2012)

I definitely feel that way about Ms. Spin. I also feel that way about the little Spin Units No. 1 and 2 but generally only when they are sleeping ; )


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## naiveonedave (Jan 9, 2014)

karma*girl said:


> Hi guys,
> 
> My husband told me the other day that when he looks at me, it's 'soothing' to him.
> I took it as a compliment & didn't question him. But I got to thinking about it because it was interesting to hear that.
> ...


Amongst my guy friends, we would call any woman who we felt was 'hot', as "easy on the eyes". FWIW, I think he thinks you are spectacular and that is how his peer group describes attractive women. Chalk it up to a compliment that you didn't understand :smthumbup:


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## changedbeliefs (Jun 13, 2014)

Someone.......PLEASE.....someone please tell me this woman is not in here trying to figure out how to turn a COMPLIMENT she got into a knock against her husband!?!? Please!?!?

He didn't say you look.....uh....let me think of a painfully ambiguous word.....um........"interesting" or......."geometric." He said "soothing." I think we can agree people all like to be soothed. It means unstressed, relaxed, calm, serene, tranquil, which I think we can all agree then connotes happiness and contentment. Take it. Smile, kiss him and say thanks. And don't post about it on here again.


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## BWBill (Jan 30, 2013)

He told you what he was feeling at the moment. 

Some times you sooth him.

Other times you turn him on.

Other times you make him crazy.

Your moods change; his does also.


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## BradWesley (May 24, 2013)

Almostrecovered said:


> does he fall asleep from your gaze?


She's performing a Vulcan mind meld.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Almostrecovered said:


> does he fall asleep from your gaze?



Is he a cat?


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I'd take it as he feels a sense of comfort, warmth, belonging, love, and safety when he looks at you. That'd be about the highest compliment a man could give his wife, I'd think. In this hectic, crazy world, he looks at you and everything is peace. Your heart is his home. Isn't that what we all really want?


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

karma*girl said:


> Hi guys,
> 
> My husband told me the other day that when he looks at me, it's 'soothing' to him.
> I took it as a compliment & didn't question him. But I got to thinking about it because it was interesting to hear that.
> ...


Hell and No! One does not get 'soothing' when looking at a very hot attractive girl.

What does he mean? I am not equipped to tell you what HE means. I have the exact same response when I see my wife, so I can tell you what 'I' mean.

Her picture is on my iPad and iPhone when I open it. And I cannot remember not smiling when I saw her picture. I keep her there. She reminds me of who I am and who I want to be.

If I am in bed and we are 'good', we cannot lie next to each other without falling asleep. It doesn't matter if we just slept 8 hours. It does not matter if we had three cups of coffee. We just relax when we are cuddling together and are content. (Mrs. Badger swears I just steal her energy. But badgers are argumentative beings by nature  )

She makes me believe that when things are black, they will be better. Her touch brings my blood pressure down. Her chiding makes me want to be a better person. I don't know who I listen to as much as her.

She is 'home' to me. Wherever I live doesn't matter if she isn't there.

So yes, I totally get the 'soothing' comment by your husband. If he feels anything like I feel, you should trust the reflection of his eyes more than the reflection in the mirror.


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## Flying_Dutchman (Oct 29, 2014)

I think soothing is a fantastic thing to be called. As others have said,, relaxing and comforting. You're a stress reliever without even having to put any effort into it. How cool is that?


I interpret it as being a visual version of Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response (ASMR) - sounds people find soothing. They must be unique to the individual since, if you search ASMR on Youtube you'll find hundreds of people (mostly young women) whispering. A lot of people are irritated by whispering. Foreign accents or deep male voices work for others. If you read about it, people using hand tools or playing with wood blocks does it for some. People sweeping. Cats purring. Stroking cats or dogs would be the tactile version, I guess.

While it's an attractive thing to be, it has NOTHING to do with 'hotness'.

I wouldn't put the actress Annabella Sciorra in my top 25 of hotties, but I could watch her move all day. It's like she moves 10% slower than everybody else. She's #1 at that, and, yeah,,, soothing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

JCD said:


> Hell and No! One does not get 'soothing' when looking at a very hot attractive girl.
> 
> What does he mean? I am not equipped to tell you what HE means. I have the exact same response when I see my wife, so I can tell you what 'I' mean.
> 
> ...


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## ankh (Oct 14, 2012)

karma*girl said:


> Hi guys,
> 
> My husband told me the other day that when he looks at me, it's 'soothing' to him.
> I took it as a compliment & didn't question him. But I got to thinking about it because it was interesting to hear that.
> ...


Of ALL the women in the world he married YOU. Maybe he doesn't look at you as the girl next door, but as the girl lying in his bed, the one he can explore heaven with.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening all
There is NO good way to answer the question of what you are thinking when you look at your partner. 

You have beautiful eyes? There is a smudge on your right cheek? Your butt looks really hot? You've put on a bit of weight but I still love you? I'd like to do it with you an your hypothetical twin right now? 

Whenever there are any questions about how I think of my wife, I just say "I just see the beautiful woman I met 35 years ago, I see my beloved spouse - I don't notice or care about any details). 

(Any thoughts about her having a twin sister are NOT mentioned)


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## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

You guys are amazing, the way you describe your interpretation of this..So warm & intimate. This community has people with real depth. 
I appreciate it SO much.

Everything you've all said sounds like something my husband would say, if he could/would explain how he felt. 

It's hard, sometimes, living with someone who doesn't elaborate much on the things they feel. I accept the way he is, so I usually don't bother him for more details.

It's nice to bounce something like this off of others so I can confirm what I 'think' he means. Thank you!! XO


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## Flying_Dutchman (Oct 29, 2014)

Often, words are inadequate to describe a feeling. So, while your hubby's "soothing" may not sound like a lot,, as you can see, many people have unique positive interpretations of it.

There's a line in a novel I picked up in a poundstore that might look like nonsense if you analyse it,, but it conveys a sensation I understand but couldn't find (better) words for.


- "My fingertips on her skin felt the way eyes feel on colour."
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Flying_Dutchman (Oct 29, 2014)

Often, words are inadequate to describe a feeling. So, while hubby's "soothing" may not sound like a lot,, it's the best word to approximate that which can't be described.

There's a line in a novel I picked up in a poundstore that might look like nonsense if you analyse it,, but it conveys a sensation I understand but couldn't find (better) words for.


- "My fingertips on her skin felt the way eyes feel on colour."
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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