# Husband won't help pay bills and won't leave



## jcmclea (Sep 22, 2013)

I have been married to an illegal hispanic for about 5 years now and we have two children, and I have a child from a previous relationship. We are in a very unhappy marriage and recently he said he was leaving. He left me with all the kids (he has never been alone with them for more than a couple hours and even then he complains). He left for a couple days and now he is back at our apartment and refuses to pay any bills (this has been going on for about a month now). I am not able to afford all the bills without any help from him although I think I could make it for a couple more months until we get our tax returns and move.
The kids are in dire need of clothes and what few clothes I had recently bought I had to return to pay the babysitter. I don't know what to do. I have asked him to leave again and he refuses because he is on our lease. I don't have money to break the lease and there is no where I can go although my family can offer a little financial support but I am LOSING MY MIND with him here. I am so stressed, I am tempted to leave the kids with him and live in my car...
I live in the state of Kentucky. Does anyone know what options I have???


----------



## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Tell him that if he doesn't leave you will call Immigration on him. That should help him decide to leave...

Don't leave your home or your children. He might disappear with them.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Does he have a job?

Do you have a job? 

Ok, do not abandon your children. Reach out for all the help you can get.

Get to social services and apply for food stamps (EBT) and any other help they offer.

Are you talking about moving with him when you get the tax returns? Or is it you and the children moving?

If at all possible YOU cash the tax return and you keep the money for helping with the children.

What he is doing is called financial abuse of both you and the children.

Is there any other type of abuse going on? Is there yelling? Belittling? Hitting? Pushing? Shoving? Breaking things? If so please give some examples of what’s going on.


----------



## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

jcmclea said:


> I have been married to an illegal hispanic for about 5 years now


LOL, I didn't know it was illegal to be a hispanic. I think you mean he's an illegal alien. 

You can report him to immigration and customs enforcement (ICE) by going to HSI Tip Form or calling (866) 347-2423, but it's unlikely they will really do anything. Does he ever drink and drive? If so, report that, and it might end up with him deported. 

Also, depending on your state, his illegal status might make the lease he signed null and void. You should contact a local attorney to help you in all this, but I understand money is tight.


----------



## LoveAtDaisys (Jul 3, 2013)

I think the OP may also be concerned she would get into trouble, for harboring an illegal alien for 5 years. I can't seem to find a solid answer on this, maybe somebody else knows more about immigration laws than I do.


----------



## Syco (Sep 25, 2013)

Do you have any brothers that can have a friendly "talk"with him?


----------



## thrall (Sep 26, 2013)

jcmclea said:


> I have been married to an illegal hispanic for about 5 years now and we have two children, and I have a child from a previous relationship. We are in a very unhappy marriage and recently he said he was leaving. He left me with all the kids (he has never been alone with them for more than a couple hours and even then he complains). He left for a couple days and now he is back at our apartment and refuses to pay any bills (this has been going on for about a month now). I am not able to afford all the bills without any help from him although I think I could make it for a couple more months until we get our tax returns and move.
> The kids are in dire need of clothes and what few clothes I had recently bought I had to return to pay the babysitter. I don't know what to do. I have asked him to leave again and he refuses because he is on our lease. I don't have money to break the lease and there is no where I can go although my family can offer a little financial support but I am LOSING MY MIND with him here. I am so stressed, I am tempted to leave the kids with him and live in my car...
> I live in the state of Kentucky. Does anyone know what options I have???


I'm sorry for the situation you are in. 

As other posters have put, I'm assuming you're afraid of what might happen if you turn him in. Even if you, the federal government probably isn't going to care or take any action against him anyway. You could check to see what government assistance options are available to you in Kentucky. There are also federal programs that you might have available to you. You should contact your local government assistant agencies near you and set up an appointment. Usually an agent will go through with you all of your options and help, in some instances, with even emergency clothing, food, and cash assistance. 

The poster that brought up the illegal signing of a lease might have a point. It has been a while since I have sat in a contract law class, but with him being an illegal alien, it might void the contract on _his_ behalf but would leave you with the full responsibility of it. Don't quote me as I'm not an attorney. 

I'm sorry I don't have any other definitive answers for you on this one. It is a tough spot to be in. Just make sure you take care of those kids AND yourself. We don't need their mother being worried to death. Protect yourself!


----------



## thrall (Sep 26, 2013)

Syco said:


> Do you have any brothers that can have a friendly "talk"with him?


:iagree: Also an option...


----------



## jcmclea (Sep 22, 2013)

He does work, he has a fake social security card and I have a job as well. The problem there is I am part time in medical billing for the government and am trying to get full time so I can get a big raise which would secure a future without him. But he likes to hide my car keys or he knows how to unhook something under the hood which forces me to call out. I live in Lexington and have to commute to Frankfort so I can't just take public transportation. 
He does not hurt me physically but definitely verbally. 
As far as deportation, with the amnesty bill underway, they won't do anything.
I only have two sisters who live in different states so that is why I have no where to go.
When I move it will be without him.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Have you checked to see if you are eligible for any kind of help, like food stamps, help with utilities, and so forth?

You say that you cannot afford the bills with out him. But then you say that he will not help financially. So I guess you are doing this without him.

Have you out right asked him to leave?

His doing things to prevent you from getting to work is a kind of emotional abuse. He's trying to make it so that he is in control. If you lose your job, what would you do?

Get in touch with an organization in your area for domestic abuse. Go to them for counseling. They might have resources that can help you. They might be able to help you find a place to live near where you work. Plus these places often have lists of low cost or free attorneys to help you with things like a divorce.

Your husband having a fake SS card is very uncool. Your cooperating with it is bad news and could get you in a lot of trouble. This is often a form of identity theft.

A friend of mine, a single mother of 3 whose ex refused to pay child support, ended up having to pay a huge tax bill because of some low life using her SSN. The person worked as a hair dresser and did not pay any taxes. Put that person used my friends SSN. My friend was unable to fight the IRS and ended up paying the taxes on this other person's income.

Tell him that the IRS just came looking for him because they found out that he's illegally using someone else's Social Security Card. The IRS should scare him off.


----------



## Tomara (Jun 19, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> Have you checked to see if you are eligible for any kind of help, like food stamps, help with utilities, and so forth?
> 
> You say that you cannot afford the bills with out him. But then you say that he will not help financially. So I guess you are doing this without him.
> 
> ...


What your husband is doing is against the law using someone's SS # He is talking advantage of a system I am paying into which makes me rather mad and you have stood by and allowed it. Have a heart to heart with him and tell him if he screws with you one more time you will turn him in. Tell him what he needs to pay or turn him in......no, forget that just turn him in period.


----------



## GingerAle (Oct 13, 2013)

Oh hell no! This is a no go! 

Time to figure out how to get the hell on and cut your losses.

GINGER


----------



## Syzygy (Sep 13, 2013)

Do a web search for 'legal aid lexington kentucky.' You will get some web addresses that will give you info on some low- to no-cost legal advice. Try this site: Legal Aid of the Bluegrass Home Page

While you are discussing divorce with the legal aid atty, don't forget to ask about the possibility of him being deported or placed in jail. I agree with Tomara and EleGirl that him having a fake SS# is not cool and should not be tolerated. 

Also, I just read today that the amnesty bill has been turned down (or whatever the legal term is), which means he doesn't get any amnesty this year. If you turn him in, he MAY get deportation or jail.

Can you park your car somewhere he can't find it? Get another set of keys cut and hide them somewhere or leave them with another trustworthy resident at the apt. complex.


----------



## Allen_A (Nov 18, 2013)

Throw him out.


----------

