# Why do I still care?



## HeartBrokenMan (Oct 24, 2011)

It's been nearly 2 months since D day. We are going forward with divorce. However, I still find myself checking her phone record to see if she is contacting the OM. Obviously, this only brings me more pain. I have thought about confronting her over this as she agreed to stop contacting the OM earlier on. But that was probably too much to expect out of her. 

Since we ARE going forward with divorce, I want to let go and I feel I am ready to let go. So why do I still care who she is contacting? Have other people done similar things?


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## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

Yes, it still kills me to know he is with her... mine LIVES with her... it is just awful.


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## KatiezMomma (Nov 17, 2011)

I am in the same place, we are seperating and divorcing because he wants to move on with the OW. We are still living together just because of the money issue since I was a stay at home up until the day I finally finally found out they were sleeping together. Even though all my suspisions were realized, I still check his emails. He is actually sitting beside me right now texting her. Kills me but I sit here with headphones on and read these forums.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

KatiezMomma said:


> I am in the same place, we are seperating and divorcing because he wants to move on with the OW. We are still living together just because of the money issue since I was a stay at home up until the day I finally finally found out they were sleeping together. Even though all my suspisions were realized, I still check his emails. He is actually sitting beside me right now texting her. Kills me but I sit here with headphones on and read these forums.


I would usually say you need to learn to "detach."

But in your case - if he's right next to you - I would say that it would be awfully clumsy of you to trip and dump a big glass of water on his cell phone...

Just saying...these kinds of accidents happen all the time!


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## Numb in Ohio (Oct 31, 2011)

nice777guy said:


> I would usually say you need to learn to "detach."
> 
> But in your case - if he's right next to you - I would say that it would be awfully clumsy of you to trip and dump a big glass of water on his cell phone...
> 
> Just saying...these kinds of accidents happen all the time!



Love this!!!!


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Have been there - more or less.

Wife on the computer - snide smile on her face. Kids - just one room away. Not much you can really do besides accept that its over and find some things to get excited about...

So yes - guess i'm back to "detach"...


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## KatiezMomma (Nov 17, 2011)

nice777guy said:


> I would usually say you need to learn to "detach."
> 
> But in your case - if he's right next to you - I would say that it would be awfully clumsy of you to trip and dump a big glass of water on his cell phone...
> 
> Just saying...these kinds of accidents happen all the time!


Oooh I have been so tempted but then its his personal cell, his work cell, Facebook. smoke signals, semphore, morse code, anyway these people can talk they do. I have no idea what the hell they have to talk about, he really isn't that interesting   I really do need to let it go, soon enough I will be on my own and won't have to watch it anymore.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

KatiezMomma said:


> I really do need to let it go, soon enough I will be on my own and won't have to watch it anymore.


:iagree:


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## HeartBrokenMan (Oct 24, 2011)

I guess it just takes time to let go. Even though I feel I have psychologically crossed the line of no return (to the marriage), there is still some feelings left. I hope it will be better once we physically live in separate places.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

HeartBrokenMan said:


> I guess it just takes time to let go. Even though I feel I have psychologically crossed the line of no return (to the marriage), there is still some feelings left. I hope it will be better once we physically live in separate places.


Yes - I think some physical distance will help tremendously.


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