# What goes around comes around



## QuitaBee (Aug 11, 2009)

....My whole story is funny. I'd appreciate comments, Im not asking a question. I'm mostly venting.

Met a man while married and we had an affair. I was not separated when I met him, but I have been separated for some time now. He was separated when we met for a couple years. Recently he moved back in with his wife because of what he claims to be financial difficulty. Wether or not he's sleeping with her is not my concern (even though he claims they aren't), because they are married and if I lived with my husband no matter how much I* know* I don't want to be with him I could almost guarantee that we would be boinking (excuse thee expression)...Spend years of oyur life with a person no matter how much you don't get along...its bound to happen. 

It seems like things were going fine. We made it clear that if we wanted to see other people we would tell each other even though we know we're not in a serious relationship with each other because we're both still married to other people. Long story short I've been seeing him less and less. He says he feels guilty for progressing while he's still married and while he's still living with her even though he so called has no romantic feelings for her. He has always been honest about the way he feels but this did not come up until I asked him about it after noticing that we don't spend real time together, just phone time. He told me that I'm welcome to see other people because he realizes what he can give me is limited right now, but at the same time he claims he's doing what he can to keep that from happening. Sounds like total BS to me, if I really wanted to be with someone, I'd make it happen. 

I feel stupid. First of all why in the hell did I not leave my relationship before seeking something elsewhere (first mistake, NO REGRETS for ending marriage), second of all why did I expect for this other relationship to progress while we both were still married to other people..knowing at any moment either of us could change our minds. Third of all how could a person say a WHOLE lot of things and tell you they love you then all of a sudden they dont know what they want??

I told him we needed a break so I could make a sound decision, but all of this makes me question anything real that we ever had or might have had. How'd it go from him being the other man to me being the other woman??? I'm stupid!!!!


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## jessi (Feb 11, 2009)

I not sure what to say here, people that cheat also lie a lot I really don't know how you can believe or expect anything different.
why are you wasting you time, find someone that is there for you 100% and give up the way you think about having a relationship with a married person......it never works, it hurts innocent people caught in the chaos........you can chose men that are available and you wouldn't have all these questions


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## Mal74 (Dec 24, 2009)

Men are really great at telling women that they want to be with us, they can't wait until they're out of their bad situation, etc. and then taking no action. It's called "covering the bases," or covering something else. 

Women are really great at going allong with this bullshirt and then whining and crying, "why oh why won't he do what he says he's going to do?" So there's really a perfect circle about this whole dynamic.

I have been right where you are, so I don't say what I said up there to be judgmental AT ALL. But I think you should recognize that this guy is blowing just enough sunshine up your skirt to keep you wanting more of it. I think you should either go out and date around to have fun, or if you're ready for another relationship you should go find one. Either way I would walk away from this guy.


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