# Frequent sex...how do you keep it fresh and exciting?



## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

For those of you that have active sex lives having it multiple times per week, how do you keep it fresh and exciting?


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

We don't find each other boring.

We like spending time together.

We look into each others eyes and smile at each other in ways that give us tingles.

We kiss each other. Not pecks on the cheek, but with our mouths open using our tongues with considerable wanting and lust.

We often mix things up a bit, so with our broad repertoire we have plenty to draw on. That said there is plenty that is great, in doing the same sort of thing frequently through decades together as well.

We also still try new things together.

Like we did on Monday when we went to a nude beach for the first time, where for a few hours we were both naked for all to see.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

From your other threads, it sounds like your wife just doesn't want sex, has lost her attraction/desire for you or both.

Without having a basic foundation of attraction and desire you don't have anything to work with.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Toys, positions, location, time of day. To be honest I am happy with anything and am not bored ever. Last night was the most plain ever and it was great anyway (for me).


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## Married_in_michigan (Apr 9, 2014)

watching this post for sure.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Sex swings. Sex swings y'all. I'm telling you a sturdy sex swing will change your life.


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

I just tell her “time for our appointment”...3 times per week and we are 58. I send flowers frequently and we “keep dating”.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

bandit.45 said:


> Sex swings. Sex swings y'all. I'm telling you a sturdy sex swing will change your life.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> Sex swings. Sex swings y'all. I'm telling you a sturdy sex swing will change your life.


FTW!


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

bandit.45 said:


> Sex swings. Sex swings y'all. I'm telling you a sturdy sex swing will change your life.


Whereas an unsturdy one could cripple you for life.


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

bandit.45 said:


> Sex swings. Sex swings y'all. I'm telling you a sturdy sex swing will change your life.


Scary picture in my mind sir.


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> For those of you that have active sex lives having it multiple times per week, how do you keep it fresh and exciting?


Keep dating. Send flowers. Always flirt with your wife. Give her unsolicited back rubs...those go a long way. Also, be unafraid to explore in the bedroom. Bought a ”Womanizer” saw my wife’s eyes literally roll back in her head LOL.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)




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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Whereas an unsturdy one could cripple you for life.


Oh God, is it bad that I just pictured some dude's **** breaking?

I'm very interested in input from people who've been together a long time. I've only had a year of regular (pretty varied) sex after a decade of none, so it's still fresh and exciting. When does it start to get old?


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

TXTrini said:


> Oh God, is it bad that I just pictured some dude's **** breaking?
> 
> I'm very interested in input from people who've been together a long time. I've only had a year of regular (pretty varied) sex after a decade of none, so it's still fresh and exciting. When does it start to get old?


I think it only gets old if one of you let it.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Ok here is one I tried yesterday. 

Wife wasn’t into PIV wasn’t feeling great but offered to suck me off. I suggested how about she go to her panties drawer and surprise me with something good. Initially hesitant but she thought about it for a second and thought “a-ha”! Came out with a pair she hadn’t worn I bought for her 6 months ago and no shirt which wasn’t even part of my concept but I wasn’t complaining. Simple idea adds “newness”.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> Ok here is one I tried yesterday.
> 
> Wife wasn’t into PIV wasn’t feeling great but offered to suck me off. I suggested how about she go to her panties drawer and surprise me with something good. Initially hesitant but she thought about it for a second and thought “a-ha”! Came out with a pair she hadn’t worn I bought for her 6 months ago and no shirt which wasn’t even part of my concept but I wasn’t complaining. Simple idea adds “newness”.


I would go for that as variety!


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> I think it only gets old if one of you let it.


This is new territory for me. I was in a sexless marriage for over a decade, it never had time to get old, cause it just stopped happening... It's unlikely, my bf is much different than my ex, adventurous and takes initiative, compares to lazy and timid. Still, I know people get comfortable and complacent and I'm interested in how long-term folks keep it going, I want that.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

Deleted


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

BF and I have been together almost 2 years. We are definitely settling into things as far as frequency and urgency. We were both celibate for a number of years and we're not feeling so urgent about it anymore if that makes sense..we both feel a certain comfort in that we know if not tonight, then tomorrow so no big deal if something comes up (no pun intended.) Having said that, it's definitely not old hat or boring by any stretch. We don't follow any formula...definitely have a few things in our repertoire that get more attention than other things but we mix in new or less often used stuff in enough that it keeps things interesting. We use different music choices depending on the mood too. We also spend tons of non sexual time together, laughing and enjoying each other. Snuggling up on the couch watching something together or reading or just playing on our phones and sharing all the funny meme's we see on our social media brings us closer together. Cooking together is another favorite of ours. Sharing our favorite music with each other, trying to impress each other with great song choices etc. We always feel connected and sex begins with that connection I think.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

TXTrini said:


> This is new territory for me. I was in a sexless marriage for over a decade, it never had time to get old, cause it just stopped happening... It's unlikely, my bf is much different than my ex, adventurous and takes initiative, compares to lazy and timid. Still, I know people get comfortable and complacent and I'm interested in how long-term folks keep it going, I want that.


If you want that, I would actually suggest not getting married. Sounds extreme but after two marriages and two sex lives that declined afterwards, I don't think I would ever get married again. I think being a BF\GF puts each party at doing their best to retain the other...something that I believe goes away with marriage as divorce is so difficult and costly.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

notmyjamie said:


> BF and I have been together almost 2 years. We are definitely settling into things as far as frequency and urgency. We were both celibate for a number of years and we're not feeling so urgent about it anymore if that makes sense..we both feel a certain comfort in that we know if not tonight, then tomorrow so no big deal if something comes up (no pun intended.) Having said that, it's definitely not old hat or boring by any stretch. We don't follow any formula...definitely have a few things in our repertoire that get more attention than other things but we mix in new or less often used stuff in enough that it keeps things interesting. We use different music choices depending on the mood too. We also spend tons of non sexual time together, laughing and enjoying each other. Snuggling up on the couch watching something together or reading or just playing on our phones and sharing all the funny meme's we see on our social media brings us closer together. Cooking together is another favorite of ours. Sharing our favorite music with each other, trying to impress each other with great song choices etc. We always feel connected and sex begins with that connection I think.


As I mentioned above, just stay away from the wedding dress and tuxedo!


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> As I mentioned above, just stay away from the wedding dress and tuxedo!


We have zero plans to get married at this time. I think he'd prefer it but due to some financial obligations in his divorce settlement it makes no sense to do it at this time. But even if we did, neither of us were the ones to get complacent in the sexual aspect of our first marriages and I hope that would hold true for a second marriage as well. Moot point right now anyway.


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> If you want that, I would actually suggest not getting married. Sounds extreme but after two marriages and two sex lives that declined afterwards, I don't think I would ever get married again. I think being a BF\GF puts each party at doing their best to retain the other...something that I believe goes away with marriage as divorce is so difficult and costly.


I'm also twice divorced and not looking to have children. The thing is, I've never lived with a man I wasn't engaged/married to and I don't really care to either. I just feel I'm too young to "give up" and I feel absolutely stupid to refer to a grown-ass man as a b/f. It might be cute now, but it won't be when we're older.

I don't see the point of living together without marriage, b/c I think the dynamic is very similar anyway, although way less expensive to part ways. Maybe my attitude will change with time, I've been divorced for a year, but it's not just me involved, my bf definitely wants to cohabitate at some point and he's not opposed to getting married again if it's the right person.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

TXTrini said:


> When does it start to get old?


When you let it. My wife and I have been married for almost 20 years, we've been together for close to 30 (with a few breaks). We always like trying new things some extreme, some fairly vanilla but we try to not be routine. Once you've been with someone for so long you learn what gets them off and you can tend to just go to the for sure approach, so we like to try new stuff and see what makes it into the rotation.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

For anyone needing ideas just go to Amazon's sexual wellness store. Click on any category and then pay close attention to "customer's also purchased."

When you see the best selling items also being purchased with swimming pool goggles, a waterproof phone case and a large case of absorbent pads (that are used for pets to pee on).... that type of stuff will get you to thinking and perhaps help give you some new ideas!


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

badsanta said:


> For anyone needing ideas just go to Amazon's sexual wellness store. Click on any category and then pay close attention to "customer's also purchased."
> 
> When you see the best selling items also being purchased with swimming pool goggles, a waterproof phone case and a large case of absorbent pads (that are used for pets to pee on).... that type of stuff will get you to thinking and perhaps help give you some new ideas!


Without giving TMI, don't need to go shopping


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> If you want that, I would actually suggest not getting married. Sounds extreme but after two marriages and two sex lives that declined afterwards, I don't think I would ever get married again. I think being a BF\GF puts each party at doing their best to retain the other...something that I believe goes away with marriage as divorce is so difficult and costly.


I don't know...I've seen quite a few posters in LTRs on here with the same sexual problems as married couples, AND they are often just as hesitant to move on to new partners as those who are married.

NOT that I'm saying that marrying is a great idea at all, just that remaining unmarried doesn't seem to be any guarantee of sexual compatibility and happiness.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

TXTrini said:


> I'm also twice divorced and not looking to have children. The thing is, I've never lived with a man I wasn't engaged/married to and I don't really care to either. I just feel I'm too young to "give up" and *I feel absolutely stupid to refer to a grown-ass man as a b/f. It might be cute now, but it won't be when we're older.*
> 
> I don't see the point of living together without marriage, b/c I think the dynamic is very similar anyway, although way less expensive to part ways. Maybe my attitude will change with time, I've been divorced for a year, but it's not just me involved, my bf definitely wants to cohabitate at some point and he's not opposed to getting married again if it's the right person.


"Partner" solves that issue very neatly!!


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

LisaDiane said:


> "Partner" solves that issue very neatly!!


Every time I hear that, I look for the other half of a homosexual couple


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

TXTrini said:


> Every time I hear that, I look for the other half of a homosexual couple


Lol!!! Not anymore!


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

LisaDiane said:


> I don't know...I've seen quite a few posters in LTRs on here with the same sexual problems as married couples, AND they are often just as hesitant to move on to new partners as those who are married.
> 
> NOT that I'm saying that marrying is a great idea at all, just that remaining unmarried doesn't seem to be any guarantee of sexual compatibility and happiness.


Agreed it does not ensure any success. But it DOES make it easier for the denied party to hit the road and find someone else.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Agreed it does not ensure any success. But it DOES make it easier for the denied party to hit the road and find someone else.


Unless you live in a common law state.


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## 241happyhour (Jan 31, 2011)

No Longer Lonely Husband said:


> Keep dating. Send flowers. Always flirt with your wife. Give her unsolicited back rubs...those go a long way. Also, be unafraid to explore in the bedroom. Bought a ”Womanizer” saw my wife’s eyes literally roll back in her head LOL.


Same thing happened with my wife first time we used it. Well that’s the normal actually. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## 241happyhour (Jan 31, 2011)

We have been married 19.5 years (together 24 years) and 3 kids just for reference. Date nights, a lot of sexting, a large duffel bag full of toys, massages and not being an asshole has worked good for me. My wife has always said “it never hurts to lift your skirt” and I honestly think she says that because she knows how important sex is to me. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Married_in_michigan (Apr 9, 2014)

No Longer Lonely Husband said:


> Keep dating. Send flowers. Always flirt with your wife. Give her unsolicited back rubs...those go a long way. Also, be unafraid to explore in the bedroom. Bought a ”Womanizer” saw my wife’s eyes literally roll back in her head LOL.


Seems the Womanizer has that effect on many women. Never seen my wife have such an intense build up and orgasm as she did (and still does) with the Womanizer.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

ConanHub said:


> From your other threads, it sounds like your wife just doesn't want sex, has lost her attraction/desire for you or both.
> 
> Without having a basic foundation of attraction and desire you don't have anything to work with.


Bullseye 🎯 

Natural sexual attraction will always be more powerful than anything you try to manufacture. Nature is a strong force.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> If you want that, I would actually suggest not getting married. Sounds extreme but after two marriages and two sex lives that declined afterwards, I don't think I would ever get married again. I think being a BF\GF puts each party at doing their best to retain the other...something that I believe goes away with marriage as divorce is so difficult and costly.


I met my wife in high school.... our sex life at mid/late forties is better than ever. Not all people taper off.... some women are finer with time like wine. Never discount those cougars...... they can eff you to death if they choose to do so.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Mr.Married said:


> I met my wife in high school.... our sex life at mid/late forties is better than ever. Not all people taper off.... some women are finer with time like wine. Never discount those cougars...... they can eff you to death if they choose to do so.


I think you are one of the lucky ones.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> I think you are one of the lucky ones.


Me too.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

ConanHub said:


> Me too.


Yeah but I can’t make a Superman shirt look like you can !!!


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Mr.Married said:


> Yeah but I can’t make a Superman shirt look like you can !!!


I'm just a fifty year old grandpa.😉


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> I think you are one of the lucky ones.


Me 3. Sometimes you just have to find her 🔑. When the tumblers line up, hold on for the ride. 24 yrs and where did this woman come from?

I start the foreplay when i wake her up at 5:30 with a cup of coffee and back rub and it lasts all day.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Divinely Favored said:


> Me 3. Sometimes you just have to find her 🔑. When the tumblers line up, hold on for the ride. 24 yrs and where did this woman come from?
> 
> I start the foreplay when i wake her up at 5:30 with a cup of coffee and back rub and it lasts all day.


Thats pretty good. If I woke mine up at 5:30, nothing good would last all day excert her grumpiness.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Thats pretty good. If I woke mine up at 5:30, nothing good would last all day excert her grumpiness.


We stayed in a motel a while back that had a nice deuve. It was very comfortable and cozy...not hot but warm. She ordered us one and now she sleeps in the buff. So i really enjoy waking her up for work. Start off with back rubs and then to kissing back of neck and on down body to sides and lower back. 

I help her up and get her robe on her and while she goes to restroom i fix her coffee and have it by her place on the couch.

When one of us is leaving the other waits mushily until other starts driving off to blow kisses and wave. I know! Kids give us crap. But they also both say they hope they have a marriage like ours.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Do


FloridaGuy1 said:


> Thats pretty good. If I woke mine up at 5:30, nothing good would last all day excert her grumpiness.


 Do you rub her feet and back at night? Mine loves that.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Mr.Married said:


> Do
> 
> Do you rub her feet and back at night? Mine loves that.


I rub her back, but we're both nekkid when doing, so it's always a good thing.
(Tmi I know)


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> I rub her back, but we're both nekkid when doing, so it's always a good thing.
> (Tmi I know)


I meant Florida Guy ...... he said his wife is always grumpy. I always got the impression the Ragnar Life was moving along just fine.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

I only rub my wife’s back outside of the bedroom so she knows it is a zero expectations back rub. Sometimes she will ask for one anyway in which case I will hop out of bed and adjust her so I can give her a proper pressure one. 

Unfortunately she will do 80 minute deep tissue or sports massages and has endless capacity to absorb these whereas I get bored after about 30 minutes. Still haven’t figured this one out. Have considered getting a professional massage table to try and really do it well.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Tried a new one yesterday. Had some Promescent spray but never tried it until last night. I did it on the sneak tried one spray on top and one on bottom.

Wife was having trouble getting there and took maybe 15 minutes of straight banging which normally there is no way that is happening for me unless I have been drinking. Instead easy... too easy.

Took me another few position changes and another 15 minutes. Good thing I work out. She was tired out from it and was like “What the hell happened?” since she was with me all day and knew I hadn’t been drinking.

Not sure when I will use it again but in any case it’s another nice tool to have.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> I rub her back, but we're both nekkid when doing, so it's always a good thing.
> (Tmi I know)


Lol!!! I LOVE when southern guys say "nekkid" with their accents!!


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

LisaDiane said:


> Lol!!! I LOVE when southern guys say "nekkid" with their accents!!


That's so cool. 
As a true native southerner, rural area raised, we have some great conversations then! On top of my home state, I spent years in Texas and Georgia, my kind of folks.

When not in business environment and with my local buds, the drawl is prevalent. 😂😂😂

LOL


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Tonight is the first night this week we haven't had the grandkids, and this morning DW shared she wanted to have a light supper.

This is code for we haven't fooled around since Monday, and she's preparing for making up for lost time tonight!


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

lingerie
role play
bondage
sex in new places
sex toys
watching couples porn

just say to each other "i will not judge, what is the one kinky thing you wish i would do to/with you, but you are embarrassed to ask?"


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Talker67 said:


> lingerie
> role play
> bondage
> sex in new places
> ...


All good staples in a much longer list, good go to items.

Done and do em all, cept the watching porn item.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Wife surprised me yesterday by coming to bed and revealing she had been wearing one of my favorite pairs of CK panties she has. She had been wearing them all day which means she was thinking of sex all day.

After I asked her if she’d be up for trying a Womanizer toy. The toy, not the type of womanizer from the hypergamy thread (keep calm and remember the clams).

I described what it did and that if it works for her it is supposed to be mind blowing. She asked me if I was threatened that a toy could replace me (jokingly). Ordered one this morning. Trying new stuff is one way to keep it spicy!


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> That's so cool.
> As a true native southerner, rural area raised, we have some great conversations then! On top of my home state, I spent years in Texas and Georgia, my kind of folks.
> 
> When not in business environment and with my local buds, the drawl is prevalent. 😂😂😂
> ...


Many people i talk to think us Okies have more drawl than our southern neighbors.


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