# Last night's discussion.



## icey (Oct 11, 2007)

Well last night when he got home from work mark & I had a discussion without the temper thankgod! He told me that I am not physicly emotional enough with him ie: cuddling, sex etc. I agree I'm not but I cant be with someone that always looks cranky, he says thats how he looks but he's not cranky. 

He also said that if I dont change regarding the above then this relationship cant go any further but in his eyes he is like it because of me (its my fault he is the way he is) thats what he said to me, I know I'm not perfect & have a few issues but it hurts that he blames me souly & that he thinks he's doing nothing wrong & that I have to change & not him. I feel like screaming he just wont listen to want I need & that I'm hitting a brick wall, he says I'm his world but if I was why isnt he listening to what I say. 

Like this morning I was buying him a car just for parts & I was borrowing the money of my mum for a few days & he went up the wall over it & took off in his car, I just cant win with him! Ive tried to do as he asks but without nothing in return I cant do it it's like he has a split personality he's fine with everybody else but when he's home with me he acts like he's cranky. It makes it so hard because I do love him he can be perfect sometimes & if he was like that most of the time I would be happy to stay.

I feel like maybe I should just do as he asks & put up with it to make him happy even though I know I shouldnt. Sorry I needed to vent while he wasn't here, Im trying to keep a level head without getting to upset...
icey


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

Icey ~ It isn't your fault, It takes two. You deserve to be happy.

draconis


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

*Here are things you said yesterday*
I dont feel very safe here
my fiance has been verbally abusive 
yelling, swearing, throwing things
takes it his anger out on my pets 
he's gonna kill the cat if he pushes him much further
Problem is he can be a nice guy when he wants to be
he can be quite a nasty person
I dont have any real freinds anymore cause he doesnt like ppl ringing
he slept with my best freind
so I find it hard to trust ppl these days
He is also having trouble in the bedroom 
he gets up & blames me cause im not doing enough.
he's got me now feeling like I hate sex 
sex is a major part of a relationship without it there is no relationship
over the years he has hit or kicked my animals
he has a very short temper & he admits it
he used to punch walls
usualy takes it out on the car
his dad used to hit his mum
I dont feel very safe sometimes especialy when he gets in his moods
was standing in front of the car he was reving the car as hard as it would go
screaming at me to move
I try to please him I just wish he would give me a edge
He tried to commit suicide in 2002 because I told him I was leaving
I thought that was my fault so I went back to him
its scary cause he does say he doesnt know what he's saying during a argument

*This is how you left it off*

If i was reading this & it was somebody else I would be saying to leave that staying wouldnt be a wise choice

*What quality does he have that keeps you there? Are you co-dependant? Are you afraid? Has he driven from you all self esteem?*

draconis


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## icey (Oct 11, 2007)

Probably all of the above I know Im thinking whats going to happen how am I going to live? who will want me! Thats in my head right now, self esteem I think I lost that years ago...I dont know if you or many have felt like "giving up" cause thats how I feel right now.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

First don't give up. 

Second Never settle for someone because no one else will want you. I made that mistake after my first divorse. It ended terribly. Then when I figured I was fine on my own I met that special someone and have shared 10 wonderful years with her.

Third ~ Do what you have to, family comes to mind move back in home. It is a blow to the ego but better then on the street.

Fourth ~ Get your life together.

Fifth ~ I or someone else will always be around to talk to if times are tough. Look you have e-friends 

draconis


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## icey (Oct 11, 2007)

lol Thankyou, Also thankyou for your help it has given me something to think over..
icey


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

Like I said, I plan to be around here and will help people to the best I can. I wish you all the best. Remember you are a wonderful person, and you deserve to be happy.

draconis


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