# How often do you CRAVE sex?



## coupdegrace (Oct 15, 2012)

I've been married for nearly 3 years and my wife and I are on completely different pages when it comes to sex. For clarification, I'm 41 and she's 38. I like sex every other day, or at the very least, every two days... and it doesn't have to be coitus; as long as I blow my load every other day, I'm good. To satisfy my itch, I'll request her "services" and settle for a BJ to finish or HJ, and my wife (sometimes to her chagrin) will oblige that sexual itch. Even better, she lets me give her facials, which provides for an awesome visual.

For my wife, sex is like a special event, where she has to get all cleaned up, wearing lingerie and the works... and she seems to only get horny on the weekends. Every other day during the week, she's too tired and wants to go to bed. If I ever want sex for two consecutive days, she'll say, "You just got it yesterday!" like I should be completely satisfied for a few days.

For me, when I'm horny, I just want to go at it on the spot like a wild animal... and I can have several days in a row of horniness. 

Just wondering how healthy the sexual appetite is around here and how often you, the members of the TAM forum crave sex.


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

For me it flucuates. Sometimes I want it 5x a week, sometimes I can go a week without even noticing. Typically I'd say 2-4X a week is good for me, usually leaning closer to the higher end of that spectrum. Usually we have sex 2-3 times a week lately, but over the past few weeks lifes been rather stressing, so that's dropped somewhat. That's only sex though, as I get almost nothing else in terms of BJ's, HJ's, etc.

As for your situation, been there. Thankfully my fiancee stopped doing that. I remember a time where if we had sex, it was a guarantee that there'd be no sex for at least three more days. I kept asking after two days and she'd turn me down. Finally, one time I asked after two days and she said "Geez man, can't you go more than two days without it" to which I replied can you NOT go more than two days without it?" I think that changed something in her mind because sometimes now we can have sex every second day for a bit. I rather enjoy that.


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## Omgitsjoe (Oct 1, 2012)

Married for 8 years here and together for 12.

Id often want to be intimate 4 or 5 times a week ..... more so during the weekends when im much more relaxed. Sucks that she feels differently ...... mostly because of the energy she uses with our 2 little boys !!!


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## cub!chy (May 7, 2012)

guy, married 13 years, 3 kinds under 6, we are intimate 4-5 times a week, we have gone 2-3 times a day for months, when my wife turned 30, she changed from LD, to HD and it got crazy. To the point that my P**us hurt,but i never stopped. I think about sex couple of times an hour, i am 38, used to be every second. If i didnt have to work at it, i could take it 4 times a day, but now that i am older, 4-5 times a week is good, but soemtime during these times we are at it for 4-5 hours, my wife lets me do everything, i mean everything that i want and vice versa! She sleeps naked and is always wet, i wouldnt trade her for 2, 21 year olds!


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## Jane_Doe (Aug 9, 2012)

OP, when you describe it like, "as long as I blow my load I'm happy" and talk about requesting her "services", it doesn't fill me with confidence that she's getting her sexual needs met.


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## coupdegrace (Oct 15, 2012)

Jane_Doe said:


> OP, when you describe it like, "as long as I blow my load I'm happy" and talk about requesting her "services", it doesn't fill me with confidence that she's getting her sexual needs met.


On the contrary, I always ask if there's something I can do for her, but she usually declines stating "I'm tired." When she's giving me "service," I try to get her to hop on so we can 69 and please each other. I've just been chalking it up to her sexual appetite not being as ferocious as mine.

For clarification, when I said "blow my load," it wasn't in reference to being self-centered and getting mine while not caring about her needs.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

It fluctuates from once every three days to once every two weeks. That is CRAVE sex. Not a mild itch to rub one out with whatever fleshy protuberance is at hand.


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

Married 17 years,both in our mid-40s and I can drop a load every day. My wife has been much better and we have been having sex twice a week and other stuff twice in between (HJ ). Compared to what it was, I'm a happy camper.


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

I find it's the opposite of what you may expect. The more I'm having sex the more often I want it. If I go without for a while desire drops. 

Sometimes if I'm going to be travelling for work my partner will step up the amount of sex before I leave in an attempt to satiate me for the the time I'll be away. I find the first few days the hardest. It's almost like the increased sex cranked up the production of testosterone.


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## forevermemorable (Oct 19, 2012)

Once a week is average in my marriage. I read in a book once that the average male's horny cycle is every 72 hours. I agree with that for me at least. Of course sometimes I am excited every day for a week...it comes and goes.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

Jane_Doe said:


> OP, when you describe it like, "as long as I blow my load I'm happy" and talk about requesting her "services", it doesn't fill me with confidence that she's getting her sexual needs met.


:iagree:


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

How often I want to have sex and how often I just want/need to get off, two different things.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Mentally...I crave sex every single day....







Hormonally I want it at least every other day or 2 .... if we go 3 -4 days (rare), it is really HOT... neither of us like to wait that long....we are more driven by the emotional connection... I try to revive his lust every day ~ if I can. We both admit we are addicted to orgasms. Nothing better in life. We go at it 4-5 times a week - we are mid -to late 40's ...half dozen kids. 

We're having more sex in our 40's than ever in our marriage, we have some regrets there.  I'd like to say we still feel young, hope we can ride this out for another 10 yrs .


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

It's easier to count the instances where I DON'T crave sex. Now, I don't mean that I actually want to have sex constantly, but I crave to want it all the time. except once in awhile, like when I'm tired or all my focus is consumed by something else. I should probably put my mind to use more often I guess.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

When I was married I craved sex daily. My husband was barely interested, always saying he was tired or had too much on his mind. We had sex about once a week. It made me sad because in my previous marriages, my sex drive was dead.


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## BigBlue67 (Oct 21, 2012)

I crave sex 3-5 times per week but lately my wife and I hvave been on a 1-2 times a week schefule. I'm 45 my wife is 32 and weve been together 3 years. Up until August we had the best sex life either of us could imagine. It feels like a contol issue with my wife-she'll talk about having sex then say not now, then ts too late ornot in the mood. Maybe this is for another thread...


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

I don't know how often my wife really wants to have sex. I think I would be good with once a week, her I think wants it more often. The reality is 1-2 times a month.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Too often. :/

Pretty much constantly.


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## needguidance (Aug 17, 2012)

Hmm.... Well considering my age and the bloodline of men I come from (my grandfather was still getting it in at age 80? I think his gf at the time was late 30s?), I'm definitely HD and will probably be like this until I take that dirt nap. Id say I crave it about 3-5 times a day, like ill fantasize about something I want to do or did with my wife. If she's in my prescence then ill check out her out the whole time. She's like to change in front of me and sometimes I just want to tackle her or slam her on the bed, get 'er done right there lol. Now I know my body can handle it max twice a day depending on the period time, at most 3-4 days straight. Wife and I haven't done it back to back since we've been married. Logically I want it once, maybe every other day. Since its my wife though I could go for as much as she can provide. I can't get enough of her and that's what break mes down inside. I've had past lovers that I could go once a week or less and be perfectly fine with that but my wife, something about that woman just makes me want her all the time. Been like this since I met her, still the same when we got married and still the same after this post. I just honestly wish she was open as I was. I have a "no turn down" policy for sex. I will never, no matter how sick, tired, stressed, problems in our lives, EVER turn her down for sex. If I wasn't in the mood, I promise id find a way but that would never happen because she is the way! Just wish she had the same policy for me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

Every freakin' day.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BigBlue67 (Oct 21, 2012)

needguidance said:


> Hmm.... Well considering my age and the bloodline of men I come from (my grandfather was still getting it in at age 80? I think his gf at the time was late 30s?), I'm definitely HD and will probably be like this until I take that dirt nap. Id say I crave it about 3-5 times a day, like ill fantasize about something I want to do or did with my wife. If she's in my prescence then ill check out her out the whole time. She's like to change in front of me and sometimes I just want to tackle her or slam her on the bed, get 'er done right there lol. Now I know my body can handle it max twice a day depending on the period time, at most 3-4 days straight. Wife and I haven't done it back to back since we've been married. Logically I want it once, maybe every other day. Since its my wife though I could go for as much as she can provide. I can't get enough of her and that's what break mes down inside. I've had past lovers that I could go once a week or less and be perfectly fine with that but my wife, something about that woman just makes me want her all the time. Been like this since I met her, still the same when we got married and still the same after this post. I just honestly wish she was open as I was. I have a "no turn down" policy for sex. I will never, no matter how sick, tired, stressed, problems in our lives, EVER turn her down for sex. If I wasn't in the mood, I promise id find a way but that would never happen because she is the way! Just wish she had the same policy for me.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I feel the same way about my wife. Unfortunately she very rarely wants to go at it spontaneously, unless she initiates. I can only think of one time I said no to sex in 3 years.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

It varies quite a bit. Some times of the month I'll want it several days in a row. Other times once a week is enough. But I can be persuaded without a lot of difficulty during my lower drive weeks.


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## Brilliantaire (Oct 22, 2012)

All day er' day! Lol
Seriously though, everyday. Sometimes 2-3 times that day.


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

needguidance said:


> Since its my wife though I could go for as much as she can provide. I can't get enough of her and that's what break mes down inside. I've had past lovers that I could go once a week or less and be perfectly fine with that but my wife, something about that woman just makes me want her all the time. Been like this since I met her, still the same when we got married and still the same after this post. I just honestly wish she was open as I was. I have a "no turn down" policy for sex. I will never, no matter how sick, tired, stressed, problems in our lives, EVER turn her down for sex. If I wasn't in the mood, I promise id find a way but that would never happen because she is the way! Just wish she had the same policy for me.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


This is me too. In my previous marriage, I could go three weeks without and it'd bother me, but nothing major, especially towards the end. Now, if we go 4-5 days without I'm going through withdrawl. There's just something about her that I can't get enough of. I tell her often that I'm "addicted" to her, lol.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

I crave and think about sex every day - several times throughout the day. Unfortunately, I'm at work all day and by the time hubs and I are alone, after dinner and after getting our 6 year old to bed, I'm worn slam out from a long day of full time work and full time Mom.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Every day. It's been awhile. Friday I was really really bad. Felt like I might crawl up a wall. Dammit.


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## williamjones (Oct 12, 2012)

always. i'm 40+ but still crave like i did when i was in high school


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

MaritimeGuy said:


> I find it's the opposite of what you may expect. The more I'm having sex the more often I want it. If I go without for a while desire drops.


This is me. I'm naturally HD, but have pretty incredible control over my labido. The more I have, the more I want. But if I need to go without for whatever reason, that's doable. I just have to cut down on all sexual activity, including masturbation, and things will settle out for awhile without my body screaming out for sex. So I've experienced extremes; was celibate for years, and on the opposite side have had sex 12 times in less than two days.


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## needguidance (Aug 17, 2012)

kingsfan said:


> This is me too. In my previous marriage, I could go three weeks without and it'd bother me, but nothing major, especially towards the end. Now, if we go 4-5 days without I'm going through withdrawl. There's just something about her that I can't get enough of. I tell her often that I'm "addicted" to her, lol.


It sucks! Wheres the equality? I wish I would have thought about this before we actually put rings on. Maybe I could have produced some type of contract that we both could go off of with each persons list of demands or special request. Atleast then if she didnt agree with it I could have just said you can either wait to get married until you fully agree with what I am asking or you can just leave me..... It's unacceptable. But I mentally cant take that policy away because thats how I naturally feel about her. If she ever came to me I'd never turn it down. I'd have to be unconscious or sleep but I get seriously angry when she would say "Oh, I tried to get some last night but you must have been in a deep sleep". Or "I was like playing with your ____ and you didnt notice"? Im like woman, WAKE ME UP!! Kick me, slap me, throw an elbow. I'll be mad at first depending on the pain but once I know the reason I will be wide awake ready to play lol. This order - :sleeping:    :smthumbup: :sleeping: lol


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

southern wife said:


> I crave and think about sex every day - several times throughout the day. Unfortunately, I'm at work all day and by the time hubs and I are alone, after dinner and after getting our 6 year old to bed, I'm worn slam out from a long day of full time work and full time Mom.


That's to bad southern, no chance to get together for a nooner, have him do some of the parenting so you'll be more refreshed in the evening? I libido is a terrible thing to waste.



needguidance said:


> It sucks! Wheres the equality? I wish I would have thought about this before we actually put rings on. Maybe I could have produced some type of contract that we both could go off of with each persons list of demands or special request. Atleast then if she didnt agree with it I could have just said you can either wait to get married until you fully agree with what I am asking or you can just leave me..... It's unacceptable. But I mentally cant take that policy away because thats how I naturally feel about her. If she ever came to me I'd never turn it down. I'd have to be unconscious or sleep but I get seriously angry when she would say "Oh, I tried to get some last night but you must have been in a deep sleep". Or "I was like playing with your ____ and you didnt notice"? Im like woman, WAKE ME UP!! Kick me, slap me, throw an elbow. I'll be mad at first depending on the pain but once I know the reason I will be wide awake ready to play lol. This order - :sleeping:    :smthumbup: :sleeping: lol


Yeah, I hear you, though I don't agree on the contract thing. You can't make her have sex out of an obligation. At least for me, that doesn' work. I've told my fiancee that I do not want chore or 'duty' sex. That makes me feel like ****, when I offer up my body to someone and they only have sex with me because they feel like they have to. I mean, I'd rather you say no than have sex with me because you 'have to'. 

That said, I agree with the rest of your post. I've told my fiancee that if she ever wants sex in the middle of the night, wake me the **** up. She rarely does (maybe once a year) but even in those situations she says "I woke up a bit horny but I thought you'd get mad if I woke you up so I didn't', which pisses me off to no end since I've told her that I'm ready to go wherever she is.

It's a blessing to be this attracted to someone when they want you as often or close to as often. It's a curse if she doesn't want you nearly as much as you want her though.


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## needguidance (Aug 17, 2012)

kingsfan said:


> That said, I agree with the rest of your post. I've told my fiancee that if she ever wants sex in the middle of the night, wake me the **** up. She rarely does (maybe once a year) but even in those situations she says "I woke up a bit horny but I thought you'd get mad if I woke you up so I didn't', which pisses me off to no end since I've told her that I'm ready to go wherever she is.
> 
> It's a blessing to be this attracted to someone when they want you as often or close to as often. *It's a curse if she doesn't want you nearly as much as you want her though*.


Thats the hard part. We usually have experienced one other person in our lives that had equal desire no matter the circumstance, past, or present. Then you feel like wow did I marry the wrong person? There are certain things you can teach yourself or learn over time. You can cook, be organized, clean, know how to manage you money, be a great parent and make a decent amount of money, you can even learn my love language(s) but if we dont have sexual chemistry any more, that cant be taught. It comes from within. Its not something you can read on paper. Its just natural. Either you have it or you dont. You cant read a book on how to have desire.


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## Son of Kong (Jul 12, 2012)

When I get up in the morning til I finally go to sleep anytime anywhere I want my wife and she knows this. Every other day is acceptable but I would rather 2 or 3 times a day have to space it out a few hours in between I am not a kid anymore, lucky for me she hardly ever says no. Any longer than every other day and I am up all night, I don't sleep much anyhow (3-4 hrs) so when I do get the chance I need my sleep.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lovetopleasewife (Oct 7, 2012)

coupdegrace said:


> I've been married for nearly 3 years and my wife and I are on completely different pages when it comes to sex. For clarification, I'm 41 and she's 38. I like sex every other day, or at the very least, every two days... and it doesn't have to be coitus; as long as I blow my load every other day, I'm good. To satisfy my itch, I'll request her "services" and *settle for a BJ to finish or HJ,* and my wife (sometimes to her chagrin) will oblige that sexual itch. Even better, she lets me give her facials, which provides for an awesome visual.
> 
> For my wife, sex is like a special event, where she has to get all cleaned up, wearing lingerie and the works... and she seems to only get horny on the weekends. Every other day during the week, she's too tired and wants to go to bed. If I ever want sex for two consecutive days, she'll say, "You just got it yesterday!" like I should be completely satisfied for a few days.
> 
> ...


I found it funny that sometimes you will settle for a BJ or HJ. I would love either one and not complain, especially a BJ. I would not consider that settling.

I crave sex almost everyday. For me to feel sexually fulfilled and happy, I need to be having sex about 4x/week.

The W and I were having sex everyday up until a few months ago, then it went to 3-4 times a week and then 2-3 times a week and now 1-2 times a week. Also I have not gotten BJ in 4 months and have never had a handjob from the wife. 

With that said, I am in a place now where I am craving it more than I am getting it for the first time in my relationship. Overall I can't complain and my wife understands my need and I am sure it will improve soon. A lot of the low desire is my fault.


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## OhhShiney (Apr 8, 2011)

coupdegrace said:


> For my wife, sex is like a special event,... and she seems to only get horny on the weekends. Every other day during the week, she's too tired and wants to go to bed.
> 
> If I ever want sex for two consecutive days, she'll say, "You just got it yesterday!" like I should be completely satisfied for a few days.


Sounds very, very familiar. 

I crave sex 2-3 times a week, my wife once a week or a bit less. As part of the backstory, we are in our 50s, and I was in a very-very-very sexually unfulfilling and very frustrating marriage for 30 years, so I am, for all intents and purposes, trying (perhaps even desperately) to play "catch up." Since I divorced my ex, met and married my wife, I'm slowly coming out from under an SSRI-induced period of lower libido, so I've been extra horny because of that. 

Anyway, to continue my response to your post:

My wife says she wants sex to be "special" and not become too mundane by doing it "too often." Not that she has to get dressed up special or anything, but she definitely has a vision of how she expects lovemaking to proceed. 

She also seems to have a personal sex-act countdown that gets reset for each sex act, and must run at least 3 days before more sex is considered. 

Generally we have very, very, satisfying sex, and I absolutely hate making a big stink about it when I'm the only one horny. It seems a dumb reason to get into a fight when everything else is going so well. 

However, sometimes my drive is worse than others, and times when her countdown-timer-induced waiting period is frustrating beyond all belief. 

If ANY attempt at sex doesn't complete, it resets the sex act countdown timer. For example, if she initiates when I'm too tired, or if I am having a performance problem due some of the medication issues, I may not be able to finish. At these times she sometimes decides to stop the act (even frustratingly mid-stroke), or goes ahead and we work through to HER climax. But then her sex-act timer is reset and I have to wait. … so if I get a "second wind" later in the same day, or try to finish the act the next day I hear the "You just got it yesterday" statement. 

We are newly weds (together less than five years) and everything else about our relationship is a blessing. She also, unfortunately, feels that talking about sex makes it somehow less special (she's a lapsed catholic girl from a very catholic family), so I've been stymied in my attempts to discuss any issues that have come up.


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## Michael A. Brown (Oct 16, 2012)

You wouldn't know if when you will going to crave on sex. As a couple, you will going to expect it even regularly since you are staying on same place.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Your terminology and attitude towards sex could be a clue as to why your W doesn't want sex more frequently.

I could happily have sex every other day, but if I felt that my partner just wanted to "blow his load" or have me "satisfy his itch," I think I might be less enthusiastic.


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## Pinkme (Oct 15, 2012)

Im 36 DH is 45 up until a few months ago I was LD after years of dealing with PPD and anxiety. It wasnt until we opened up and I told him I no longer felt an EMOTIONAL connection with him that things changed. He was not full filling me EMOTIONALY he thought that doing things for me helping out with HH chores and smoothering me was what I needed...it wasnt!! 

Now that we are openly talking and telling each other our wants and needs we cant get anough of each other. I want him all the time and he feels the same. We went from 1-2 times a months to 6-7x a week. So YES, I crave sex all the time, but most importantly I crave the EMOTIONAL CONNECTION I feel when I am with him.


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## mikeyb (Jul 8, 2012)

Mid to late forties. I can go a couple days without sex... Anything after 3 - 4 days and it's ALL i can think about. And I mean ALL. lol


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## I'mAllIn (Oct 20, 2011)

Like southern wife I think about sex every day, several times a day. I also work all day weekdays. Unlike southern wife, though, H and I are pretty much empty-nesters, so once we get home from work we have plenty of time to spend doing things we enjoy together, snuggling, teasing, and having sex. At this point I'll have sex every day, but if we go a couple of days without it I actually CRAVE it, like a physical need. There are also things my H can do to make me crave it even if we've done it three times already that day. 
As a side note, I've always thought about sex this much, but it's only been since turning 40 and my children being pretty much grown that I've actually wanted to have this much sex. Before that I was often just too tired from running them all over and cleaning up after everyone to feel very sexy.


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## ARF (Jan 26, 2011)

When I am going through a dry spell with my wife, I'd say I crave sex daily. When we are having regular sex, I am content with 2-3 times a week.


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