# birth control and sexless



## Adeline (Jan 24, 2014)

yep, a bit of an oxymoronic thread, eh? And yet here it is lol. Would you choose to be on the Pill if you were in a sexless marriage? I would most likely still be on birth control pills today if it weren't for running out of refills. They ran out after the first few months of my marriage issues and the start of no sex, so I just never bothered to make the appointment to get a new prescription for more refills. I was like, whats the point? That was nearly 2 years ago. No sex since. In that first year when i thought things would just magically go back to normal on their own i did buy back up birth control in the form of condoms and spermicide. I still have them... never got used 

I have thought of it as a nice "break" for my body to be off of them. Though birth control never really messed with my moods, but i didn't have sex for 2 years so i guess i wasn't giving my body any synthetic hormones that it didn't need.

So i don't know... i had no idea that 2 years later we'd still be sexless. If i had to guess, i probably won't be having sex anytime soon. But sometimes i wonder should i get back on the pill? To be prepared? Or should i wait until our marriage becomes more stable (and therefore the possibility of sex)? Or, if our marriage ends up not working out and i end up single?

I guess I'm not sure. Even though i so desperately want to be a mother, at this point in our marriage and the damage done I would not feel comfortable having sex with him with condoms/spermicide alone. Once upon a time maybe, but not at this point in the game. I could not risk a pregnancy with him until i know that things would be more stable between us. Though i keep thinking... if i had thought to "prepare" this way a year ago I'd have been on the pill for the past year for no reason... and that could be the case even now. I don't really want to waste money.

And not to mention... I'm not even sure if they still make my brand anymore! I remember near the end i had to switch pharmacies because they no longer carried my brand and it was kind of difficult to find it... it may not even exist. And I'm not sure i want to be experimenting with new brands and their side effects if I'm not even having sex.

k, I'm rambling. Any thoughts? Stay pill free, or get back on it (for some reason...). Not sure why i suddenly feel the pull to get back on the pill after all this time.


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## totallywarped (Jan 26, 2013)

why are you staying in a sexless marriage?


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

Stay pill free. 

Synthetic hormones can wreck havoc on a woman's body, even if you don't notice any side effects. It is much healthier for you to stay off of the pill, unless you have other health issues that warrant its use. 

Have you and your husband gone to counseling?


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## Adeline (Jan 24, 2014)

totallywarped said:


> why are you staying in a sexless marriage?


many different reasons but that is a different thread. I'm just here to ask the ladies about birth control in such a situation.



Anonymous07 said:


> Stay pill free.
> 
> Synthetic hormones can wreck havoc on a woman's body, even if you don't notice any side effects. It is much healthier for you to stay off of the pill, unless you have other health issues that warrant its use.
> 
> Have you and your husband gone to counseling?


yes, it was part of the reason of why i thought well no sex=no pill because even though i felt quite normal on the pill i had read lots about some of the issues for long term pill users. I am happy with my decision to have stayed off of it these past couple years. Though it has been so strange to have been on it for so many years and now not for so long.

yes, we are getting help together and separate to see if things can be repaired. I just separately had it in the back of my mind of if/when i would get on the pill again and what the right time would be. I just worry if the time comes and I am not on it. I feel like i hear horror stories all the time about how unreliable condoms can be. Maybe I could make my appointment to get the new prescription and refill it but hold onto it? The expiration dates always seemed rather far from what i remember. Might need to do some research today on if my brand exists anymore and that could definitely aid in my decision. I'm wary of trying anything different in this type of scenario.


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## Justus3 (Oct 18, 2014)

I say "stay pill free" much healthier for you


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

If you're not having sex....no need to put synthetic hormones in your body. When/if you guys do decide to have sex, use a condom until you can get on BC again. Just make sure the condoms aren't expired. Try to have a "fresh stock" on hand - maybe replace them every 6 months or so.


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## Tomara (Jun 19, 2013)

I am in agreement, no pill. No reason to put your body through that.


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

yep, what for?. it is not like one day you both wake up all happy and go for wild sex, and you loose control. Just make sure if you do have sex, that he knows you are not on the pill.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

"Would you be on birth control....." is your brain diverting you from focusing and dealing with the REAL issue at hand.

Which is, no intimacy/intimacy negligence.

What you really want to ask yourself is "would you be in a marriage with no intimacy".

Might want to talk to your husband about that as well.....cause time is ticking and it's just a matter of time before your marriage collapses.


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## Adeline (Jan 24, 2014)

no, I have a million other posts that focus on that. The birth control was just an afterthought that I've had recently. Time bomb already went off, and we're picking up the pieces.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I would not use BC pills if I am not having sex in marriage. What would be the point? It's spending unnecessary money and putting hormones/medicine int your body without any need.


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

DoF said:


> "Would you be on birth control....." is your brain diverting you from focusing and dealing with the REAL issue at hand.
> 
> Which is, no intimacy/intimacy negligence.
> 
> ...


why so nasty? she had specific question, what's wrong with it?


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

WandaJ said:


> why so nasty? she had specific question, what's wrong with it?


It's as nasty as you want it to be.

I didn't find my comment to be nasty at all.


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

DoF said:


> It's as nasty as you want it to be.
> 
> I didn't find my comment to be nasty at all.


Actually I apologize after re-reading more carefully your part about her brain. sorry about that!


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## Adeline (Jan 24, 2014)

DoF said:


> It's as nasty as you want it to be.
> 
> I didn't find my comment to be nasty at all.


no, I understood. Birth control is just the focus of this particular thread. It's definitely not the priority in real life though (nor my main thread), I'm definitely concerned about the bigger picture.


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## EntirelyDifferent (Nov 30, 2012)

I hated being on birth control, even though it didn't really mess with me, so I would just stay off of it. 
If intimacy happens, condoms are better than nothing until you could get the prescription refilled.


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