# ideas on how to get out of a rut?



## Enoxprin (Apr 8, 2014)

Hello everyone, I hope everyone is doing well. I have a question and I need your ideas and opinions on this. 

Lately I have been in a rut. Actually I can't remember a time when I was not in a rut. I started graduate school 2 1/2 years and since then I just feel like its same old same old. Nothing changes for me and my SO. Well actually we got engaged but our wedding is not till next year which might not even happen due to money/time issues. I just feel lousy all the time and not just at home but also at work. I am not spending as much time studying as I need to its showing. Even our relationship is in a rut. We barely spend anytime together and when we are together its not romantic or nice its just him doing his thing and me doing my thing. I can't remember the last time we both dressed up and went out. 

Has anyone ever felt like they need a change? What can I do to get out of this state? I feel like I am drowning. I am depressed all the time.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Get some 3x5 cards. Figure out five things you want to change about your life. Every morning, write one thing you will do that day to get you closer to the goals you have set for each of those five goals. A jellyfish lets life happen and just goes wherever the current takes it. You get to decide how your life will be. If you want more romance, actually put that on your card and do something romantic tomorrow. You can write your guy a poem, pick him some flowers, have a candlelit dinner, go for a walk, etc. You gotta make things happen. You have to work for your degree, but you also have to work at every other aspect of your life. Small steps, but make a point to take them every day.


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## tryingtobegood (Aug 22, 2014)

Hey there, plan a date. Make it just like when you were dating shortly after you met. Have a good time!


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## Enoxprin (Apr 8, 2014)

Thank you guys  you are right I need to take steps to make my life how I want it to be ...I'm sure it's easier said then done...


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Enoxprin said:


> Thank you guys  you are right I need to take steps to make my life how I want it to be ...I'm sure it's easier said then done...


Are you eating enough vegetables, avoiding junk food, and getting enough exercise? It sounds like part of your problem may be nutrition and exercise related.
If you make a plan and implement one thing at a time, it can make a huge difference in your life.


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## Enoxprin (Apr 8, 2014)

I need to do better with eating right and working out. I work out just not consistently enough I guess and I try to eat veggies just not as much as I should I guess


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

There's no time like the present to get started on increasing your health.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

I can tell you from first hand experience that you getting in a rut effects more than just you. It will definitely effect your relationship. You need to remember that every day is the first day of the rest of your life. Try something new or try something old that you like before. But always remember that all things are temporary.
I was in a horrible rut that I didn't even realize I was in. Bad thought habits, led to bad life results. They fed on each other and reinforced each other and I came to feel hopeless. It was the primary cause of my marital issues. Don't let that happen to you. Decide today to make your life better, because as long as you can draw a breath there is always hope


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## thenub (Oct 3, 2014)

Here's a suggestion. Check out some local martial arts clubs and see if the offer a free introductory class. Plan an evening with your S.O and go together. It'll be a good workout but your energy level when you leave the class will have skyrocketed. 
Go home, jump in the shower together and enjoy the rest of the evening together. My wife and I did this a few years back and now we are both 2nd deg. Brown belt in TKD. Unfortunately with two girls in competitive gymnastics, we had to give it up. Trying things you've never done together is a really good way to get talking about things. Maybe catch a play at a local theatre, go to the symphony or whatever. Just try new and different things. It just might rekindle the flame that is slowly flickering and not growing. 
Just my opinion
Your mileage may vary.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening enexoprin
you are in graduate school - everything will change when you escape.. er graduate - so if nothing else that will get you out of your rut.

Grad school is a huge amount of work and very little money, so there is a limit to what else you can do with your life. Its an extremely stressful time.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Enoxprin said:


> Hello everyone, I hope everyone is doing well. I have a question and I need your ideas and opinions on this.
> 
> Lately I have been in a rut. Actually I can't remember a time when I was not in a rut. I started graduate school 2 1/2 years and since then I just feel like its same old same old. Nothing changes for me and my SO. Well actually we got engaged but our wedding is not till next year which might not even happen due to money/time issues. I just feel lousy all the time and not just at home but also at work. I am not spending as much time studying as I need to its showing. Even our relationship is in a rut. We barely spend anytime together and when we are together its not romantic or nice its just him doing his thing and me doing my thing. I can't remember the last time we both dressed up and went out.
> 
> Has anyone ever felt like they need a change? What can I do to get out of this state? I feel like I am drowning. I am depressed all the time.


I read an article recently speaking to this issue. The article stated it was often caused by hormonal inbalances. 

Just food for thought.


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