# 20th "Un-Wedding Anniversary"



## cantmove (Feb 20, 2012)

Last night I went to dinner with 2 girlfriends to celebrate my 
20th wedding anniversary. Dinner was great. They even bought me a great gift. Of course I cried half the time because I should have been there with my stbx. He came over yesterday to cut the grass and pickedup my car tag bill to pay it. I guess that was guilt at work. He never mentioned our anniversary. We did have plans to do something before I walked in on he and ow Monday. Someone please tell me why after finding out for 3rd time that he was cheating on me with same ow(total of 9 yrs) do I still love him? He still trys to blame me and rewrite history and refuses to give her up. He never respected me or gave me a chance. What the hell is wrong with me? Shouldn't I hate him now. He pretended to reconcile, went to mc with me had lots of sex w/ me, let me work on myself to to be better person let me become a doormat and beg for time, and all the while he was with her again. Someone please hit me in the head!!! I'm still going to appt. w/ lawyer tomorrow I know this must end. I just wish my heart could catch up with my head. I want the miracle fantasies to go away.


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

Glad you had a nice dinner, your gf sound great (gift and all).

I can't answer you about your head/heart... I have acreage to take care of and my H hasn't offered to help w/ any of the upkeep or anything (I am still on drs orders for recovering from surgery) but yet I have to do the household stuff. No idea how I am going to do the weed eating, but otherwise we get snakes. 

We love them... I guess we just don't want to give that 'choice' up yet.


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## cantmove (Feb 20, 2012)

I'm not being given a choice now. He went from being confused and wanting to date Monday morning to being sure he wants out and being in love with her after I busted them Monday afternoon. How can he turn his feelings on and off like that? I asked him that tonight and he said "thats a good question" WTF? Before he was caught he didn't want me to go to an attorney yet and tonight he says I need to go to my appointment tomorrow because he is sure he wants her and not me. Guess I shouldn't have engaged in any conversation with him since Monday was dday#3 I know I should hate him but my anniversary last night sent me way backwards. Start 180 fresh in the morning.


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## justabovewater (Jun 26, 2011)

I'm sorry to be so blunt, but what a jerk! I wish I knew what makes them tick sometimes. He's playing games with your heart and I think the best thing that can happen to him right now is to lose you then her...which will probably happen after you're out of his life. What fun will their affair be then?


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