# Why are emotions so annoyingly dynamic??



## Wildflower3 (Nov 20, 2011)

Why can't I just get to a good place and stay there?!

I'm back in this ridiculous victim stage (I keep moving through different stages): I wish I'd never met him. If he NEVER loved me in the first place, why waste 15 years of my life when I could've had that with someone who actually loved me? Someone who would be committed to this marriage? To me? To our children? I feel cheated out of my life and out of my future plans for our family. What a coward for not leaving me earlier on, like BEFORE we got married, BEFORE we had kids? All because he was afraid to be alone? Because he "had no reason to leave"?? What an a$$. What a fool I must've been to be in what I THOUGHT was a loving, committed, "us against the world" relationship. On the other hand, if he really did love me at some point in our 15 years together, why not just TRY for a few months and see where it goes? Isn't the past 15 years and 3 wonderful children worth it? Quitter. 

Then, back to the 180, moving on, acting "as if", GALing. That totally works and it's working for me 90% right now, on it's way to 100%. But I guess crappy days are just normal. They will get few and further between. I know this. Just had to vent. 

Thanks!


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## Wildflower3 (Nov 20, 2011)

Wow, just read it again and it's so glass half empty. There were some really good times. It just gets all mugged up when I realize this person was an emotional robot. This person had the nerve to call ME an "emotional void". I just have to keep it positive... Remember the good times...


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## worrieddad (Nov 3, 2011)

Hang in there wildflower....we all go through it! Had similar thoughts myself at times....we all have these backslides, not much fun but part of the grieving process.


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