# My husband insecurities .....



## Jenjenb (Nov 12, 2015)

My husband and I have been married for 4 years. Let me rewind and give a briefing of our relationship:
We have been together a total of 12 years
Before we got married he had cheated on me numerous times and I loved him and forgave, his cheating would end with a baby involved ( his first child and I had his child 3 months after his first born). Again I forgave !

I bettered myself career wise and work in an industry that consist of men ( alot of MEN). But I am a wife and have not desired no one else but him.

I sent a co work a sympathy text I found online when his mother pass. I must admit I didn't think it was bad until my husband pointed it out and I apologize to my husband and even showed him the website where it was copied...

For the past 2 years since I have been at my job, I have been accused, of having sexual relationships with this particular co worker, having an abortion, or just being accused of lying.... 

Last night was the last straw when he questioned me , when he said I lied and I didn't lie about anything. I am tired of walking on eggshells so he wont think anything, and explaining myself for every little thing. I cant even say I'm cramping or in pain, because the fear of being accused of having an abortion.... its too much and I just want peace. I love him enough to just leave. I am stressed and hurt now and just ran out of options:crying:


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## Orange_Pekoe (Jan 5, 2015)

You sent a coworker a sympathy text when your coworker's mother died (I'm assuming something along the lines of "My sympathies to you and your family" etc., nothing sexual?!). And your husband believes it is inappropriate and now accuses you of an affair?

We are missing a lot of the story.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Just because your H may have stopped cheating on you, doesn't mean he is mentally and emotionally healthy enough to have a healthy relationship with you. Most people who cheat a lot and have children with their affair partners have a LOT of introspective work to do, and often need the help of a therapist to work through the issues that enable them to cheat. A LOT of cheaters tend to project their own cheating tendencies onto others - they believe if they cheated, everyone cheats.

Meaning, your H is not emotionally mature and healthy enough to have a good relationship with you or anyone. A guy who accuses you of having abortions because you get cramps on your period is nuts. A guy who accuses you of cheating/whatever because you sent a sympathy text is nuts. Your H is nuts. I'll bet he did NO work on himself and got NO therapy to deal with his cheating habits, paranoia, etc. He is not going to change if he does nothing to change himself.

Now, it's up to you to decide what is important to you. How do you want to live the rest of your life? The way you are living now, or something else where you are not constantly accused of cheating?


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
there is an old saying that men who check behind curtains have probably hidden there themselves.

He cheated on you. He apparently considers that sort of behavior to be very common so he assumes you are cheating on him and is trying to catch you.

Maybe the idea makes him feel better about himself.

In any case he is being completely unreasonable.


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## Happilymarried25 (Mar 19, 2014)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> there is an old saying that men who check behind curtains have probably hidden there themselves.
> 
> He cheated on you. He apparently considers that sort of behavior to be very common so he assumes you are cheating on him and is trying to catch you.
> ...



I wouldn't be surprised if he is cheating, especially if he thinks you are cheating on him.


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