# I've gone bat **** crazy, now what?



## Lostmymindintn (May 26, 2020)

I lost my mind and ranted and raved through text messages because he wouldn't answer my calls! All I've done is added a thousand questions to the list of ones he hadn't answered! That's the worst part of this, his silence, like he's not concerned or can't be bothered with any of it! Am I going crazy? Will I get ME back anytime soon? I'm so tired


----------



## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

if someone ranted to me over texts, I would not respond either. 

But we need more background story, this is not enough to have a discussion.


----------



## hubbyintrubby (Jul 5, 2019)

You are reacting exactly as he wants. Take a big step back. Act, don't react. It's what he wants.


----------



## Lostmymindintn (May 26, 2020)

I have never acted this immature or needy in my life, I know it's because of the silence. I feel like I have more control now and I am so angry with myself for doing that! I just want to take him and shake him and say answer me! His silence seems to speak volumes though


hubbyintrubby said:


> You are reacting exactly as he wants. Take a big step back. Act, don't react. It's what he wants.


----------



## hubbyintrubby (Jul 5, 2019)

Lostmymindintn said:


> I have never acted this immature or needy in my life, I know it's because of the silence. I feel like I have more control now and I am so angry with myself for doing that! I just want to take him and shake him and say answer me! His silence seems to speak volumes though


His silence does say a lot about him. I know how difficult it is to control yourself under circumstances like these. You made a misstep and it's ok. Going forward, it's about you controlling those reactions and those feelings you get when he's not answering.


----------



## Lostmymindintn (May 26, 2020)

It started about 3 or 4 months ago, him coming home and going in the building and me doing whatever around the house. When I would talk to him I started seeing little things that concerned me so naturally I asked if anything was wrong and I got the typical no. After a while it was obvious that something was seriously wrong with us and I confronted him again and asked if there was someone else, he said of course not witch I believe because he's never been a cheater. He said we were fine that we were going through a rut! That made me angry but I didn't say anything to him. I had been trying so hard to show him not just tell him how much I loved him and appreciated him with no reaction at all! Sooo last week my daughter tells my that her neighbor who works where he does told her that he was making her feel uncomfortable by just showing up in different places and talking, just little things,but enough to make her feel uncomfortable. Then she told me that he's been discussing our problems with her! I don't think he would ever cheat, but I do believe that he was flirting and it got out of hand because I even made the comment oh you got the hots for ### now huh? He said yeah right and I just laughed because I wasn't concerned, I felt confident that no matter how much flirting he did, at the end of the day he was still my man! So when I heard all this I lost it and said I knew it! I knew there was someone else and I had a feeling it was her! He left the house that same evening and hasn't been back since and hasn't tried to call me or anything. I lost my mind for a few days and couldn't help texting all the crazy thoughts and feelings I was having. I never threatened him but I did say some pretty nasty things here and there. I'm the type of person who has got to talk to vent and to try to start fixing whatever the problem is and he knows that, so when he wouldn't answer me, it was like locking me in a dark room with my own crazy mind, and believe me my mind was working overtime! Now I finally feel like I have some control over myself and I'm ashamed of myself


----------



## Lostmymindintn (May 26, 2020)

I was so furious that he could talk to her about us but couldn't even acknowledge me! I was already feeling like he didn't love me anymore and feeling insecure. If he would have just talked to me in the beginning it would have made this so much easier for both of us! But now I really feel stupid and ashamed and angry and I still have no answers to anything just more questions!


----------



## hubbyintrubby (Jul 5, 2019)

Well, don't kick yourself over what has already happened. You can't change that now. Look forward and be proud that you know that you have control over yourself now. Practice that control. If he knows how this would make you feel, he's doing it on purpose and he's doing it to be hurtful to you. It's manipulation.


----------



## Lostmymindintn (May 26, 2020)

I know you're right that I have to step back and thankfully I have. His silence was just screaming so many different things at me that I truly believe I went stark raving mad for a couple of days


----------



## Lostmymindintn (May 26, 2020)

You are absolutely right! Thank you so much. I think I just needed someone to talk to. I've been dealing with this completely alone and that didn't help


----------



## hubbyintrubby (Jul 5, 2019)

No doubt you probably did. He knew that would happen if he truly knows you, and he did it for a reason. As badly as you don't want to do it, match his silence with your own silence. No more questions, no more texting, no more calling.


----------



## Lostmymindintn (May 26, 2020)

That is going to be sooooooo hard!


----------



## Lostmymindintn (May 26, 2020)

What about just saying good night the way we've always done and then saying good morning as always and nothing in between


----------



## Lostmymindintn (May 26, 2020)

Or maybe not????


----------



## Lostmymindintn (May 26, 2020)

Btw, how much do I owe you for being my personal therapist, my voice of reason


----------



## Bluesclues (Mar 30, 2016)

Lostmymindintn said:


> What about just saying good night the way we've always done and then saying good morning as always and nothing in between


NO! I know it is hard but just stop it. You need to go full silence. Nothing says bat **** crazy like going from manic question asking and rants to “good morning” like nothing happened.

I understand where you are because I have been there. It is counter-intuitive to go silent, but boy does it work. He will start to wonder what you are thinking and contact you. And if he doesn’t, you will know where you stand and will feel better about yourself.

Put the phone down!


----------



## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

No. And no. 

You can’t do anything about the bs crazy behavior up to now but don’t compound it. Quit chasing him. And work on you (that most of all).


----------

