# Friends WW threatens suicide if he files



## Jponce06 (Feb 24, 2016)

First post here, I haven't had to deal with infidelity but working remote construction hearing about WW is not at all uncommon. A co-worker of mine who I've worked with for years on remote site (3 weeks in 3 off) has been trying to divorce his WW. Thing is besides the fact that our state would favor her she has threaten suicide if he leaves her. He didn't go into too much detail as this conversation was over a few beers at an airport bar. 
At work it's a no female work place (very remote) so maybe it too a few beers and being away from work to open up.
Within a few years I've heard of guys getting cheated on so much it has to be some cruel joke. One guys fiancé left him and married a "friend" 3 weeks after he got laid off, but I digress. 
Ive dumped a gf over her lying about not hanging out with a guy (I didn't need a smoking gun) but all she did was cry and say she was sorry. But I've never understood why WW threaten suicide.
I've read a story on loveshack where a guys infertile wife was cheating on him while they were trying to conceive with her 60+ boss (insert prune visual). He allowed her back but wanted to D. She grabbed a knife and threaten her own life in the end I think she manipulated him into staying out of concern for her life. A total s*#t sandwich what if she did get pregnant but it wasn't his? He is now stuck with a WW who could of fathered another man's child and sadly still can't give him one.
While my brother deployed in Iraq 06-2010 a couple of his gf cheated and one threatened suicide but guess he called her bluff. Why would WW even think this is a tactic?!? 
I've read of one with kids wanting to move back home after being pregnant by her OM and told her BH she wanted was going to off herself. Had the pills and alcohol ready. A total Mind F*%K!
Sorry for the ramble I just had this on my mind for a long time.


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## Lostme (Nov 14, 2014)

Trying to hold on to the marriage is why she said it. 

Maybe next time she threatens it he could call the police have them check on her, heck they will probably take her and admit her for 72 hrs to make sure she will not commit suicide.


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## becareful2 (Jul 8, 2016)

I would never give in to that kind of threat. I guarantee you they would not off themselves. Very few actually go through with it. Have your friend carry a VAR with him to record the next time she admits to wanting to off herslef. A VAR is a Voice Activated Recorder.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

becareful2 said:


> I would never give in to that kind of threat. I guarantee you they would not off themselves. Very few actually go through with it. Have your friend carry a VAR with him to record the next time she admits to wanting to off herslef. A VAR is a Voice Activated Recorder.


Actually, you can't guarantee that. Some will not carry through with such a threat, some will.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

MattMatt said:


> Actually, you can't guarantee that. Some will not carry through with such a threat, some will.


 And that's entirely their choice and on them.


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## BrokenLady (Jan 19, 2015)

On our final d-day, once I'd found & read much of their correspondence, I told my WH to go & be happy with her! His immediate response was to tell me he was planning suicide. 

Of course the truth was.... He never once researched suicide! He DID research flights & driving directions to shag her!!

What made his threats so cruel was my only sibling, my big brother did take his own life following particularly cruel adultery. He didn't threaten. He didn't walk around sobbing & wanting to die. People who truly don't want to live anymore say they love their family, they give their precious treasures away, they act 'normal' so they don't worry loved ones.

I think that threats of suicide are the worst kind of manipulation! "I may have betrayed you & broken your heart but you can't be mean to me or I will kill myself!!". I don't believe that twaddle!


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## Jponce06 (Feb 24, 2016)

Guess I just don't understand why some one would destroy a marriage and threaten suicide. Guess I never understood why some one would cheat and want to stay married, maybe I'm just a black and white type of guy.
One WW I read about in her own posts got pregnant by her OM, left her husband then as her husband moved on and started dating other woman threaten suicide. He took her back I feel sorry for her because I feel like she eventually really did realize how amazing her husband was and knew she lost him. Her only card was suicide and used that to get him back I feel a lot worse for her husband raising he AP child and being married to some one that could leave him and his family get pregnant and use the mention of suicide as a way to allow her back home. I just don't get it maybe I'm more analytical and less emotional about it.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Rubix Cubed said:


> And that's entirely their choice and on them.


Yes, indeed it is.

Moral blackmail is ugly.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

I agree on the VAR suggestion. Get her on record saying she'd commit suicide and tale it to the police.

After her first 72 hour stint in the psychiatric ward, she'll never try that tactic again.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

Tell your friend this:

Get a VAR so that the next time she threatens him with this, he'll have evidence to back it up. Then, if it does happen again (and it probably will), call 911 immediately and report it. With that evidence, they'll likely commit her for a certain period of time for evaluation.

One of 2 things will happen after this:

1- If she's serious about harming herself, then she'll get the help she needs.

2- If it's just a bluff to keep him in check and allow her the freedom to cake eat (this is more likely the case), then she'll think twice about playing that card in the future.


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## Jponce06 (Feb 24, 2016)

I'm so sorry! How are things between you and your H? Threats like that are just not selfish but mentally damaging.


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

Advice for your friend: Tell a blood relative that she is suicidal, head for the door, don't look back.

Edit: The part about raising the AP's baby? No man that I personally know would ever do that.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

It's a control tactic. She's bluffing.

If she were going to off herself, she'd have already done it.

Tell him to file first thing tomorrow morning.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Yes and yes my tongue slathers......all good answers. 

Her cheating was the first step. She first killed her ethereal double....the Soul of her She.

This is the greater Half.....the rest be Flesh.

SunCMars, sayeth........!...........?


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## straightshooter (Dec 27, 2015)

This one is simple.

He files for divorce and then calls 911. This suicide thing has to be taken seriously and handled by qualified folks. Unfortunately it is a far too common threat ( tactic) of WW when they are about to get dumped because of their behavior


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

I agree with the others. Your friend should call 911 and then file. He will have taken care of his conscience and made a positive choice for his new life.


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## LucasJackson (May 26, 2016)

Statistics show that people who threaten suicide rarely commit it. They're looking for attention and sympathy. People who really want to kill themselves rarely discuss it with anyone. That's why everyone around them is always surprised they did it.


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## drifting on (Nov 22, 2013)

LucasJackson said:


> Statistics show that people who threaten suicide rarely commit it. They're looking for attention and sympathy. People who really want to kill themselves rarely discuss it with anyone. That's why everyone around them is always surprised they did it.





I have found this to be the most accurate, people are usually shocked when they hear of a suicide. However, don't be fooled that this is always what happens, some will threaten and make an attempt. Usually the attempt isn't enough to cause death, but I have seen people who become disabled due to their attempt. As a person who was suicidal, I was deceptive to my therapist, I had every intention of carrying this through. So while I admitted I had suicidal ideations, I said I had no plan nor the desire to carry this out. I did, I tried, I failed, I'm now in a better place, but I remember those dark days vividly.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jponce06 (Feb 24, 2016)

Thanks everyone for your comments. Reading everyone's ordeals on here really shows how evil and yet resilient humans can be.


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

My XW threatened to harm herself when I found out she cheated a second time and I told her we were over. It didn't deter me. 

She was hospitalized for 10 days as a suicide risk. Eventually was released to her grandparents. Divorce went through with no issues. 

Tell him to treat his choice to stay with her and her threats of self harm as two independent things. Get her to get help with her thoughts of self harm, and still go through with the divorce. 

Staying married under such a threat is emotional blackmail. Just another reason to cite in the divorce, mental cruelty.


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

Tell him not to take the threat lightly. My husbands dad killed himself over a failed marriage due to infidelity. 

He DID threaten, said it several times, tried a few times before he succeeded. 

My husbands mom called the police, who did NOT intervene. 

They knew from his threats he WAS serious, My husbands brother is the one that found him and when he did, the first thing he said was “that bastard did it. He really did it”. 

Tell him to call the police, do a wellness check. They will determine whether or not she’s a risk.


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

You know how many guys here wouldn't shed a tear if their EX wife ended their lives? Remind him he's save $1k a month minimum for the next xx years. His wife must run the house if he's not going to pull the plug with those bogus threats.


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

The ones who make the threats don't want the gravy train to end.

The people who give in to the threats care too much to risk someone taking their own life, even if it's the enemy.

With kids, it makes it harder, if they go through with it how do you explain that level of selfishness to your kids.

Too many factors, BTW some are just bat s*** crazy.


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