# My wife thinks moving out is a great Plan A - Here we are 3 years later........



## JamesStorm (Jul 25, 2018)

Well, I'm back. I checked my original thread and the last comment was in February of 2018.

You can take a look there for the backstory, but the summary is that my wife wanted to move out as a first option for our struggling marriage.....I convinced her to stay. I made improvements (I think), but In January of this year, she finally decided that she needed to move out and she did.
It really was a mental thing for her....we are still friends and we spend time together with our daughter and we get along pretty well. I think it just ended up being that we weren't meant to me.....we aren't a good fit for marriage and living together. 

She is living in an apartment and I stayed in the house. We are going the Legal separation route due to benefits and we are 100% in agreement on the plan, so no lawyers needed. Really made it easy......

She has no interest in seeing anyone. Spends a lot of time with our daughter (per her request) and also spends a lot of time with her twin sister. She cherishes her alone time and that's what she has now.....

I am seeing someone and she is the polar opposite of what I had. Still early and definitely not getting carried away, but enjoying all that I had been missing. I have zero intention of ever remarrying. 2 times is 1 too many.....

The intent of this post is to thank all of the folks that commented on my original discussion and also to the folks that took the time to send me private messages and helped me navigate through my situation. I really appreciate it!

Thank you!!


----------



## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

JamesStorm said:


> marriage.....I convinced her to stay.



For any one reading this: live and learn. You can never, ever force emotional feelings out of no one. 

Love is an easy, freely flowing positive energy. If it flows on the upstream then is not meant to be. All it does is to create forced interactions that in the long run it cannot be sustained. 

More hurts and waste of time in your life is always the outcome. 

I'm extremely realistic in this matter. If I was ever just insinuated, or told upfront that it wouldn't work, I always immediately turned around and say goodbye. I never, ever would ask to be wanted, because somehow I always understood that you cannot force love or a relationship. So OP eventually got what ultimately was the inevitable outcome.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Is your new girlfriend ok with the fact that you are still married and have no intention of getting divorced?


----------



## JamesStorm (Jul 25, 2018)

Yes, she is understanding of the situation. It was brought up from the very start before we progressed anywhere and the reasoning behind it was clearly explained. I wanted to be fully transparent before we got too far along....

Divorce will happen.....just not yet. Legal Separation, then convert to divorce.


----------



## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

Sounds like it’s moving forward amicably, which is what you both want. All the best.


----------



## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

having waited three years will that have a further impact on your divorce financially ?


----------



## JamesStorm (Jul 25, 2018)

Theoretically there would be a financial impact, extra alimony, but due to the amicable nature of our split, this is not a concern. The benefits the she provides are significant for my two older children, her step children thru our marriage, and they far outweigh the financial impact to me. And with our daughter, I will always be there to support financially or otherwise, so from my point of view, we are all good.......


----------

