# I'm the cheating wh*re



## wannabeNurse2 (Jun 1, 2012)

My husband said I should come on here to get some support since he is on here too. I don't think it would really help, but I'll do just about anything to save our marriage. It all started when I moved to help take care of my Mom after her surgery. My nursing license took several months to switch over. We needed money so my sister took me in as her apprentice in her business working as a dominatrix. At first I was very reserved, but my sister kept pushing me to be more dominate and sexy for the clients. BTW my husband knew I was doing this job. It doesn't require me to be naked. No sex or blow jobs. Eventually I became dominate. The job became exciting. Guys were telling me how beautiful I was; something my husband stopped telling me a long time ago. The guys loved the sexy outfits I wore. I thought my husband didn't like me wearing lingerie. I began to feel empowered and sexy, but the job slowly ate away at my soul. Soon it wasn't any fun. I hated doing it. I dreaded getting calls for work. I needed something more to feel better. I essentially felt like a ***** without the sex. I want so badly to get a nursing job but everyone who was interviewing me said sorry kid you don't have enough experience. I became depressed despite being on antidepressants. Then one night I walked into a bar and a guy started talking to me. He told me his ribs hurt. I told him I was a nurse and I could examine him if he wanted me to. We went back to his place and after I examined him and finding a large lump on his left ribs I suggested he get it checked by a doctor. He looked at me and kissed me. I panicked. I didn't know what to do. I asked him what are we doing?!?! I'm married! He said we're just having fun. I was taken back by this, but I immediately went into work mode. I refused to have sex with him that night. However, the next time I saw him we were both drunk (not an excuse) and we ended up having sex. I figured he had already touched me. My fate was sealed. I was officially a cheating wh*re. I had no one I could talk to about it. I was lying to my whole family and friends. After I got over the initial shock it started to feel good and exciting. I was sneaking around like I was in high school. And with my job I was living two completely different lives. I noticed the sex wasn't as good as the sex I had with my husband. I just rationalized the ok sex as he didn't know me well enough sexually. Soon I started going to see him even though I didn't want sex:trading sex for compliments, cuddles, and attention. I knew the relationship wasn't going anywhere and it never would go anywhere because I didn't want to leave my husband. I planned on ending the affair as soon as my husband moved in with me. The relationship with my lover became crappy. He was always terrible at communicating. He wouldn't reply to texts for days and he wouldn't return my phone calls. Then he didn't want me to be over at his house because his parents were getting mad. (yea I picked a winner 33 y/o and living at home still) We started getting into fights. I notice he was becoming rougher in bed. Sex started to hurt sometimes. I started to fake orgasms. I realized we were just f#cking. It meant nothing to me or to him. I broke it off with him twice but I kept going back because he'd apologize. It was at this point that I begged my husband to move to where I was. He refused saying we couldn't afford it and he had to keep working his current job to cover bills. I felt rejected. My secret life continued. I started seeing my husband in my mind when I was having sex with my lover. I stopped seeing him as much. the relationship was dying. I went back home to see my husband for a few days. I was planning on ending my affair when I got back. My lover texted me at 4 in the morning a sexually explicit text. My husband was pissed. I panicked. I didn't want my marriage to be over so I did what I thought was best. I lied. It worked, or so I thought. Later that morning he searched my computer and found incriminating evidence. How could I be so stupid as to not remember to clear my messages? When he confronted me I felt faint and like I was going to vomit. I finally told him the truth. A piece of me died. I hated to see him in pain and I caused that pain. I wanted him to punch me. I wanted to jump off our balcony and land painfully three flights down. Later I contemplated throwing myself in front of a train. Our son needed a mother so I dismissed that idea. Plus attempting suicide would hurt my husband again. And what better punishment than to live through the pain and suffering I so rightfully deserved. I contemplated cutting. I needed to hurt myself, punish myself. Cutting would only upset my husband more so I started to internalize the pain. Horrible thoughts of him leaving me, how I poison ever relationship, how I don't deserve anyone, how he should divorce me, and how I should die kept going through my head. I went from not eating to eating too much. I started chain smoking. I hid out in my room. I didn't want to go to the bars because they reminded me of my ex-lover. After I came back to my sister's house I confronted my lover. I asked him what would possess him to text me such an explicit text at 4am when he knew I was with my husband. He said he didn't know what he was thinking and that he was sorry. He said he was drunk. I was disgusted. I wanted to punch him. I told him my marriage may be over. I said it was just as much my fault because I forgot to delete my yahoo IMs but I should of never been with you in the first place. He apologized again. He said he knew there was nothing he could do to make it up to me. I told him we were over because if my husband catches me cheating again he will take my son and leave. I told him I loved my son and my husband more than I cared about him. He apologized but then he asked if I wanted to go back to his house. I said you are terrible. Again I wanted to punch him. I turned around and walked away. I changed his name as do not answer in my phone. I had already deleted him on yahoo. I had deleted him from my facebook two weeks earlier after a fight. So now my husband and I are trying to fix our relationship. We are trying to have sex more often. He is moving where I am in 21 days. I'm busting butt to find a different job. The interviews are flooding in all of a sudden. I can't wait to stop working as a dominatrix. I feel pain and remorse for what I did, but my husband doesn't think I'm miserable and remorseful. Thoughts of him leaving, never being able to trust me again, and contemplation of suicide keep going through my mind. Will it ever get better? Is our relationship doomed now? I'm a cheating piece of [email protected] wh*re. Now I understand why they stoned adulterous women.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

I haven't read the post yet but calling yourself names won't help one bit.


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## Iowaboy (May 31, 2012)

and that wall of text is the story. Its everything she has told me, I've been to busy being mad at her to ask how she was feeling the last couple days. All she would respond with was "sorry, i dont know what to say".


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

wannabeNurse2 said:


> Now I understand why they stoned adulterous women.


Under the old laws, adulterous men were stoned as well.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

> My fate was sealed. I was officially a cheating wh*re.


Your fate was not sealed. And you are not a cheating wh*re.

You are, however, an idiot and a fool to yourself.

Things can get -hopefully- better for both of you and for your child. I wish you all the best. MC have you and your husband arranged this, yet?


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## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)

Seeing as your husband has agreed to reconcile, you need to do your utmost to transfer your self pity to genuine remorse. Make your husband see that you're sorry for _hurting him_,not for letting yourself down, that comes later. You need to address why you decided to hook up with random men at bars who have undiagnosed, potentially serious illnesses which could've harmed you and your husband. You also need to address why you repeatedly kept sleeping with this man in your sober state knowing your husband was away trying to make a living for the both of you.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Iowaboy said:


> and that wall of text is the story.


If you really, really liked us, can you please ask for paragraph breaks? It's very early here in England, I have just drunk a very strong cup of coffee (is six teaspoons of instant in a mug normal??) and my eyes nearly fell out with the wall of text! 

Jokes apart, this is a sad story. 

I just hope you chaps can have a happy ending. -And yes, people in England do use words like "chaps" and the phone boxes and post boxes are red, just like in the movies. Why not arrange a trip together to visit England to watch the rain?


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

*Iowaboy* Your wife needs help. She is panicking quite a bit. She is not thinking clearly at all. Suicidal thoughts, cutting herself up, stoned to death, abusing herself. 

*Wannabenurse*, you husband is already dealing with the huge amount of betrayal and pain because of you. Now he has to be worried about your mental and physical well being. Give him one less thing to worry about.

*Iowaboy*, she is wracked with guilt. That said there are a few warning signs in her post. 

She stayed in contact with the OM after the D-day. 
There seem to some kind of parasitic relation between both of them where they feed of each other. they are likely to contact one another again. He knows her buttons all too well.
She still seems to be upset at him that he wasn't into her as much she was into him.
I think she is sugarcoating some of the stuff to make you feel much better TBH. She enjoyed the affair but is having a hard time confessing it(out of guilt I guess)


I will continue my post


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

You got checked for STD's right?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

wannabeNurse2,

There are some books that I think will help you and your husband in putting your marriage back together.

The first one is “Surviving an Affair” by Dr. Harley. The others are linked to in my signature block below for building a passionate marriage.


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## KanDo (Jun 15, 2011)

I'm sorry; but, I have no sympathy for you. Why the heck would you meet with the other man after the discovery? You should have *No Contact *whatsoever! Quite frankly, your job now should be to show your husband, in everyway, that you are truly remorseful and not just sad that you got caught. I am not convinced you are remorseful. You need to get out of the sex business and you need to start looking at yourself and sort out why you are so damaged that you could break your marital vows. This will not be a quick process and you need to understand that no matter what you do your husband may decide the relationship can't be saved.


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## Iowaboy (May 31, 2012)

dday was sunday, she went home tuesday, talked to him that night to drop off something and as she said left, her sister wasn't willing to do the drop for her.

Yeah, when she was talking to me about it that day, and she found out he tried to hook up with her sister while she was gone. She seemed surprised and upset that he would do such a thing. I was not.
Also, with our financial situation as it is we dont have any extra funds except to pay, rent, utilities, my student loans, her student loans, her car payment, and our cell phone bill. so MC is out of the question tell she gets a nursing job, as she has said she has had 3 calls this week lining up jobs, though they are in old folks homes wich is a job she has been fired from before.


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## Wanting1 (Apr 26, 2012)

You seem to be very upset that you got caught. Your reactions seem to be all about how crappy it was to get caught because you were planning to end it. It doesn't really matter that you were going to end it, because you didn't end it. You got caught. And then you contacted your lover again to gripe about him facilitating you getting caught. Hopefully, you really are remorseful and not just regretting that you got caught. 

Your husband seems to want to reconcile. There are some great resources here to help you with that if you are sincere. You are in for a long, painful road. Well, at least your husband is. Good luck to you both.


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## Jibril (May 23, 2012)

You are... Iowaboy's spouse? Correct?

Thanks for posting. Not to nitpick, but please use paragraphs breaks next time - walls of text make for difficult reads.

Alrighty. Now, picking through the annoying self-pity, I can say this: stop calling yourself a "[email protected]" No one was paying you. You made some very stupid decisions. You are an unfaithful woman. A cheating spouse. Put-downs won't earn you sympathy here - remorse and devotion will. 

- Dates. When did this sexual affair start and end, _exactly_. No BS, please. *How long have you been seeing your lover*.

- *Have you tested yourself for STDs*? Don't kid us with "I wore protection." You make _no_ note of it, and posters here all know that affairs almost _never_ involve condoms.

"*I noticed the sex wasn't as good as the sex I had with my husband. I just rationalized the ok sex as he didn't know me well enough sexually*"

I see this often. "Sorry babe. I cheated, but he sucked. he was no where near as good as you." _Listen_. You _may_ be telling the truth. But you may also be trying to stroke your angry husband's ego. There had to be _some_ reason why you had sex with this man _repeatedly_, so this statement doesn't hold any water.

Why, _oh why_, did you not just _talk_ to your husband before things got bad? This is probably the _stupidest_ thing about affairs, and what _always_ sets me off. _Why can't you communicate with your partner_?

You claim that your lover was a bad sexual partner, but you made love to him repeatedly, even when he was _supposedly_ harming you and when you were _supposedly_ not enjoying the experience. You broke it off twice, and you admit it was a purely sexual relationship, but the sex sucked and you kept coming back because he said "sorry"?? I find this _incredibly_ difficult to believe. It just makes no sense. How do you explain this?

You're clearly upset. Let me be a _tad_ sympathetic. Instead of trying put efforts into _putting yourself down_, why not put effort into trying to _help your husband recover_. 

You sound like an intelligent girl. You need to sit down with your husband and sets some rules and boundaries for your marriage. Posters here will be more than happy to direct you to books, forum posts and the like that can help you _structure_ your marriage into something you will be proud of.

Also, make note that reconcile is a long and difficult process. Your husband will have to work on rebuilding the relationship, yes, but *you* will be doing most of the leg-work. You need to show him that you are completely and utterly devoted to him. You must be his partner in all things. 

First of all, do not contact your lover ever again. *Ever again*. Send him an email/letter of no-contact, stating that you will be working on rebuilding your marriage. That you will not be corresponding with him _ever again_, and that any contact he attempts you will show to your husband, You will never, *under any circumstances*, respond to your now-ex lover. 

Inform all of your family members and friends of the affair. *Yes, you read that right*. Tell your _mom_ you cheated on your husband. Tell your sister, your friends, your dad, your in-laws, *everyone*. They need to know. Have your husband contact your lover's parents and have him tell _them_. Put everyone on the same page. This will stigmatize you and your lover. That's good. The farther you two are from one another, the better. It also puts you and your spouse back at square-one. You rebuild a marriage from this point on.

No more secrets, no more lies. He must have access to all your social life-lines - your phone, your email accounts, facebook, etc. All of it. Don't delete _anything_, and tell him _everything_.


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## Iowaboy (May 31, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> wannabeNurse2,
> 
> There are some books that I think will help you and your husband in putting your marriage back together.
> 
> The first one is “Surviving an Affair” by Dr. Harley. The others are linked to in my signature block below for building a passionate marriage.


I'll look into the surviving an affair book for sure, the passion part wont be hard, our sex has always been good just not that frequent for the last couple years, do to chiild birth and unemployment issues. We just haven't had time to really romance each other. =

As for the std thing, we will get checked


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## wannabeNurse2 (Jun 1, 2012)

I am remorseful about what I did. I feel genuinely terrible. I am fighting off the thoughts of suicide and hurting myself. I was never successful in the past with trying to kill myself. I doubt it would work now. As far as me talking to my ex-lover after I got caught I needed to end it officially and to tell him to never contact me again.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Iowaboy said:


> dday was sunday, she went home tuesday, talked to him that night to drop off something and as she said left, her sister wasn't willing to do the drop for her.
> 
> Yeah, when she was talking to me about it that day, and she found out he tried to hook up with her sister while she was gone. She seemed surprised and upset that he would do such a thing. I was not.
> Also, with our financial situation as it is we dont have any extra funds except to pay, rent, utilities, my student loans, her student loans, her car payment, and our cell phone bill. so MC is out of the question tell she gets a nursing job, as she has said she has had 3 calls this week lining up jobs, though they are in old folks homes wich is a job she has been fired from before.



Look at the books I've listed. If the two of you read the books and work through them you can get as much or more than you can get out of MC.

Hopefully the places she is applying to will not find out that she was fired from a previous employer.

She has to stop the job working with her sister. What a disaster that is for her.

Since her mother needs help, would it make more sense for her mother to move to where you live?


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

wannabeNurse2 said:


> It all started when I moved to help take care of my Mom after her surgery. My nursing license took several months to switch over. We needed money *so my sister took me in as her apprentice in her business working as a dominatrix.* At first I was very reserved, but *my sister kept pushing me to be more dominate and sexy for the clients.* BTW my husband knew I was doing this job. It doesn't require me to be naked. No sex or blow jobs. Eventually I became dominate. The job became exciting. Guys were telling me how beautiful I was; something my husband stopped telling me a long time ago. The guys loved the sexy outfits I wore. I thought my husband didn't like me wearing lingerie. I began to feel empowered and sexy, but the job slowly ate away at my soul. Soon it wasn't any fun. I hated doing it. I dreaded getting calls for work. I needed something more to feel better. I essentially felt like a ***** without the sex. I want so badly to get a nursing job but everyone who was interviewing me said sorry kid you don't have enough experience. I became depressed despite being on antidepressants.



Really? Your sister?

dominatrix?

Your husband knew you were in the sex industry?


Something is just not right here...


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## Iowaboy (May 31, 2012)

Yeah, she told me


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

wannabeNurse2 said:


> I am remorseful about what I did. I feel genuinely terrible. I am fighting off the thoughts of suicide and hurting myself. I was never successful in the past with trying to kill myself. I doubt it would work now. As far as me talking to my ex-lover after I got caught I needed to end it officially and to tell him to never contact me again.


You probably do not know this, but when no contact is established it's advised that the WS (wayward spouse) not do it in person. It's best to do this via letter. What is normally suggested is that the WS write a no contact letter explaining that the affair was not fair and was hurtful to their spouse. And it ends with tell him that there can never be any further contact between the two of you. Then your spouse mails the letter to the affair partner.

Why? Because affair partners ususally often try to talk the WS into continuing the affair. And they are often successful in doing this. So ending the affair cold turkey via letter is usually the best bet.

But now you know that you cannot have any kind of contact with him ever again.

You have some real issues.. you've tried to committ suicide before? You are having terrible thoughts on hurting yourself? Please go to a doctor and see about medication for depression. You are in serious trouble emotionally/mentally.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Iowaboy said:


> Yeah, she told me


And why did this go on?


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## wannabeNurse2 (Jun 1, 2012)

Wow. I'm truthful and tell how I am and have truly been feeling and I just get criticized and called a liar. Reading the replies just makes me feel even worse than I already feel. I wasn't looking for sympathy, but dang.


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## Iowaboy (May 31, 2012)

Yeah, I was very explicit she told me what she had to do, I was on the phone with her the whole time and she immediatly called me back after the deal was done.


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## Jibril (May 23, 2012)

wannabeNurse2 said:


> *I* am remorseful about what I did. *I* feel genuinely terrible. *I* am fighting off the thoughts of suicide and hurting myself. *I* was never successful in the past with trying to kill myself. *I* doubt it would work now. As far as *me* talking to my ex-lover after I got caught I needed to end it officially and to tell him to never contact me again.


*Stop it*. Just stop. You're using all of your energy _entirely_ the _wrong way_.

Take a close look at what you just said. It was *entirely* about you. I want, I need, I feel, blah. Your mind is not yet at the "remorse" stage. You're in the "deer in headlights" stage, stunned that you were caught in this debacle. 

As I said, forget *you* for now. You need to worry about *him*. You need to make your partner feel like he can trust you, and feel comfortable and safe with you. 

Do you think he feels _safe_ when his partner is threatening her own life? Do you think he can _trust_ you when you threaten to kill yourself? _I_ certainly don't think so.

I get the feeling that you're very young. The selfishness in your posts give me that impression. So again, I'm going to tone it down a bit. _Work on bonding with your partner. Work on rebuilding trust. Work on helping him heal. Devote yourself to recovery, and to the marriage._


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## Iowaboy (May 31, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> And why did this go on?


i dont make enough money in my job to cover the cell phone, her car payment, car insurance and her student loans, the only reason i was ok with it was we needed the ****ing money.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

wannabeNurse2 said:


> Wow. I'm truthful and tell how I am and have truly been feeling and I just get criticized and called a liar. Reading the replies just makes me feel even worse than I already feel. I wasn't looking for sympathy, but dang.


Some of the people here can be very hard on a cheating spouse. Just know that they are trying to get across to you the magnitude of pain you have visited on your husband and the damage you have done.

Dispite the harshness there is a lot of good support for both of you.


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## WakeUpWS (Jan 7, 2012)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## snap (Oct 3, 2011)

This story is really a bit on the incredible side.. sometimes I get a feel CWI turns into fan fiction place.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Iowaboy said:


> i dont make enough money in my job to cover the cell phone, her car payment, car insurance and her student loans, the only reason i was ok with it was we needed the ****ing money.


Can you get the student loan payments put on hold for a while because of finacial problems. This can often be done. Give them a call and find out. 

How much does she make with the dominatrix stuff? Can she find a job doing anything that is not degrading? The problem with the dominatrix stuff is that it seems to have fed her need for attention and at the same time made her feel badly about herself. It's not healthy for her.


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

Jilbril is right.

Stop thinking about yourself right now. Instead concentrate on others (son, husband) and see what you can do to help. 

Or, see what you need to do to help them. 

Hopefully, you'll then develop more empathy for others.


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

snap said:


> This story is really a bit on the incredible side.. sometimes I get a feel CWI turns into fan fiction place.


similar to my first thought


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## Jibril (May 23, 2012)

wannabeNurse2 said:


> Wow. I'm truthful and tell how I am and have truly been feeling and I just get criticized and called a liar. Reading the replies just makes me feel even worse than I already feel. I wasn't looking for sympathy, but dang.


Look. You're posting on a forum where damned-near everyone responding to you has been cheated on or betrayed. Of _course_ we wouldn't be "nice" to you. _You betrayed your husband_. We are literally _taking to a cheater_. Some forum posters will get very angry/violent triggers from reading stories like yours. Don't take it personally - some of us (myself included, I don't doubt) are projecting some of our resentment at you. That doesn't mean our advice is bad - but we won't sugar-coat the medicine either.

Now, the reason no-one belives you are being completely truthful is because, _from all of our experiences_, cheating spouses are _never_ truthful. They will deliberately withhold information or lie until they are faced with undeniable facts, in which case they fold and admit that they lied. There's a topic _on this very subject_ right on the first page of this forum.

Again, don't take it personally. We don't believe you... because we don't believe you.

If you want to be believed, look at your husband - your partner, and give him something to be proud of - courage and honesty. Be _brave_, and tell him every single thing you have _not_ told him. At this point, the cat is out of the bag. Your marriage is in jeopardy. If you lie and withhold information, you will eventually be caught. And _every time_ you are caught, you re-set the marriage _back to square-one_. It's better to come clean now and tell him _all_ of your infidelity, rather than being scared and hiding stuff from him - only for him to find out later and _really_ getting mad.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

nurse,

How much time a day do you spend helping your mother?


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## TBT (Dec 20, 2011)

wannabeNurse2 said:


> After I came back to my sister's house I confronted my lover. I asked him what would possess him to text me such an explicit text at 4am when he knew I was with my husband. He said he didn't know what he was thinking and that he was sorry. He said he was drunk. I was disgusted. I wanted to punch him. I told him my marriage may be over. I said it was just as much my fault because I forgot to delete my yahoo IMs but I should of never been with you in the first place. He apologized again. He said he knew there was nothing he could do to make it up to me. I told him we were over because if my husband catches me cheating again he will take my son and leave. I told him I loved my son and my husband more than I cared about him. He apologized but then he asked if I wanted to go back to his house.


This whole section seems really odd.You break no contact for what you say is to end the affair,yet it seems like you confront him in anger because what he did f*cked up your affair.Basically he couldn't make it up to you,because he screwed up too bad.Then you told him in a sense,that it was only over because you couldn't risk getting caught again.

IDK,this is just my opinion,but I would find this exchange unsettling if I were viewing it as your H.


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## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

Why, when I read this, do I get the image of two HS kids playing on the computer and making it up as they go? ....."Throw myself under a train?" "Cutting"? Dominatrix? IMO, this thread is total horse****!:lol:


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## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

All they need is "alien abduction" or Vampires and Fox would make a series out of it.


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## Vanton68 (Feb 5, 2012)

My gut says this is 1 poster, trolling under 2 accounts.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

I don't think they are trolling . Where do you think the people who work in the adult industry come from? These are people that have a life very different from what normal people usually have. I know a couple of webcam girls that do it with the full support of the spouse/bf and have a normal life outside of it. These people don't live in vacuum. And the dominatrix part isn't the focus of the story. Her being a dominatrix has nothing to do with the infidelity. She met the man at a club.

By calling out people who turned to the forum for help trolls isn't doing the forum any favor. This even happened in the Juicer's thread. If you think someone is a troll, I think it is better to stop responding to the thread. The negative outweigh the positives by a large margin.


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## sirdano (Dec 30, 2011)

I don't know if both of you belong to a chruch or not. But ours helped us with my wife's affair and was free. We saw them every week for two months. We also could afford MC so we did that also. 

The MC we are down to once every three months. And it does help to have some one else guide you through the process. Or like our MC said what happens people try to mash thing back together again without really working on the real issues. 

One thing MC had us do was sex was off the table until we fixed communitation first, then intimancy then sex. It sounds like you guys are trying to mash them back together and it might fall apart again

You set yourself up for failure jumping to the end and skipping the middle


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## Iowaboy (May 31, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Can you get the student loan payments put on hold for a while because of finacial problems. This can often be done. Give them a call and find out.
> 
> How much does she make with the dominatrix stuff? Can she find a job doing anything that is not degrading? The problem with the dominatrix stuff is that it seems to have fed her need for attention and at the same time made her feel badly about herself. It's not healthy for her.


elegirl, she has been trying for over a year to find a nursing job, she jsut doesn't have the experience to work in a hospital and she gets fired from nursing homes due to her Generalized Anxiety/panic disorder and the bipolar(mainly uni polar) she is suffering from. 
She makes 200 bucks an hour for a full session, as has been said no sex, no bjs. I should of known that it would effect her negativly and told her no, I just didn't know, or didn't want to be honest with my self or think about what she might actually have to do.  
I think she is so very close to a nursing job right now this bdsm gig is going out the ****ing window as soon as humanly possible.


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## Iowaboy (May 31, 2012)

also, we don't belong to a church, shes a wiccan and I'm not that big into religion. Also our student loans can't be fore bared anymore, im already on interst only payments for the next 2 years. She also didn't mention our son because she is taking care of him during the days


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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

wannabeNurse2 said:


> *I'm a cheating piece of [email protected] wh*re. Now I understand why they stoned adulterous women.*


This. I'm = I AM (present tense) as opposed to I WAS (past tense). 

If you can't let go of the label, reform, see the error of your ways, promise your BS that you will never, ever do that again and make every effort to become the "new" loyal and loving spouse then your marital problems and the temptation to cheat again will never go away.

Once you have accepted the "I AM" label, there is nothing stopping from you repeating past behavior. However, as with any addiction, if you accept the "reformed" or otherwise "past tense" the label, there is a strong indication that you have learned from your mistake. I'm not seeing that here.


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## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

warlock07 said:


> I don't think they are trolling . Where do you think the people who work in the adult industry come from? These are people that have a life very different from what normal people usually have. I know a couple of webcam girls that do it with the full support of the spouse/bf and have a normal life outside of it. These people don't live in vacuum. And the dominatrix part isn't the focus of the story. Her being a dominatrix has nothing to do with the infidelity. She met the man at a club.
> 
> By calling out people who turned to the forum for help trolls isn't doing the forum any favor. This even happened in the Juicer's thread. If you think someone is a troll, I think it is better to stop responding to the thread. The negative outweigh the positives by a large margin.


Come on, Warlock. You REALLY believe this? So NOW she is a Wiccan/nurse/dominatrix cheater?


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

I don't know why religion was brought into this, it's not the issue here. You can have the most devoted Christian cheat on their spouse. If she is Wiccan, there is nothing wrong with it. It's my understanding that wiccans are all about mother nature. Earth, water, wind and fire. I could be wrong, I'm not of that religion, but I have nothing against people who are of that religion.

To the OP, both you guys need to find a very good therapist to work this out.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Wow not really very believable - especially the looser OM.

So money is tight - so where do you go - out to a bar to drink. While there you are obviously flirting and meeting men, other wise HOW do you get in a conversation with a man , and shortly end up back at his place to look at his medical condition.

Lie - you went back to look at him professionally. And you only kissed.

Truth - the guy picked you up in a bar after you spent time flirting with guys. You went back to his place and had sex.

Oh, and you just happened to be in the bar again and drunk and meet up with him, and just happened to go back to his parents house and had sex.

then did it again and again.

While working your day job as the dominatrix.

--

To OP - if even any of this story is true, get rid of her. She sought out a BF while up there, and in her own words he is a looser who treated her crappy - but she kept going back for more.

Oh, but here's the kicker - she did it because you had been a bad husband and not treated her right.

But wait, the OM treated her crappy too. So it's very very hard to believe that she was getting from him what she was missing, since he treated her badly too.

Sir, you've simply caught her being a liar and a cheat and now she's throwing up drama and false remorse in order to not be dumped by you. After all what is she going to do, move into 33 yr old mama boy's house with mom?

No she's in a panic. Oh, and I'd bet even money on her meet up to say good bye involved a nice roll in the hay.


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

She went to bar and saw OM with medical problem, so she accompanied him to his home to examine him.......Then he suddenly kissed her, she said no BULL SH!T, The truth is that she hooked up with OM and went to his home for banging him, She is even lying that OM had some problem so she went to his home first time.

The sex was not good, because he was not familiar with her body so she went back again and again and again (do you have any number?) Its another BULL SH!T. OM was better in bed than OP so she went to him again and again........He was abusive, but sex was good so she returned to him each time.

She was about to end her A another BULL SH!T, Every cheaters when get caught says the same. If Op didnt caught her now she may have been banging OM right now.

She is suicidal another bULL SH!T, She is clearly manipulating OP with suicidal threat, so that he dont dump her cheating a$$.

She is not remorseful or feel really anything good for OP other than the fear of getting dumped.

OP deserve better far better than her, My advice to OP is dont stay with a cheater for the sake of money and financial problem.


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## Jonesey (Jul 11, 2011)

snap said:


> This story is really a bit on the incredible side.. sometimes I get a feel CWI turns into fan fiction place.


True you never ever see stories like this elsewhere,

But good luck anyway


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Kallan Pavithran said:


> She went to bar and saw OM with medical problem, so she accompanied him to his home to examine him.......Then he suddenly kissed her, she said no BULL SH!T, The truth is that she hooked up with OM and went to his home for banging him, She is even lying that OM had some problem so she went to his home first time.
> 
> The sex was not good, because he was not familiar with her body so she went back again and again and again (do you have any number?) Its another BULL SH!T. OM was better in bed than OP so she went to him again and again........He was abusive, but sex was good so she returned to him each time.
> 
> ...


Perhaps working as a DOM she decided she really wanted to be the sub and so she sought out this looser who would treat her nasty etc?

My advice to the OP is to find out on your own who the OM is. Check out the story. He knows the sister as well, so he's known to the whole family, and the while family is clearly aware that she's been hooking up and cheating.

Nice family values there BTW - Professional domme for a sister in law, got the wife into the business. Hanging out in bars hooking up with guys, spending $$$ to get drunk.

Yep, sounds like life is hard living with mom and sis and making ends meet. She doesn't have to take care of a kid, doesn't have to be faithful to her husband.

She's even so cool that when caught she rolls over and goes right back soundly asleep. Then she goes home to her lover "to meet up face-face and break it off" , because "she owes the OM to treat him nicely".

Seriously - this is the scum bag who is banging a married woman, and wants to hook up with her sister too. And you feel you OWE him a nice ending and explanation ?

Seriously?


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## TorontoBoyWest (May 1, 2012)

Iowaboy said:


> and that wall of text is the story. Its everything she has told me, I've been to busy being mad at her to ask how she was feeling the last couple days. All she would respond with was "sorry, i dont know what to say".


Ask your wife to edit that with some paragraph breaks.

It really will help get more responses.


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> She's even so cool that when caught she rolls over and goes right back soundly asleep. Then she goes home to her lover "to meet up face-face and break it off" , because "she owes the OM to treat him nicely".


Still she claims she is very remorseful......................

She went for face to face because she owe him a goodbye sex,


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

FYI...

When you shift the story around for your husbands sake...

Please make note that this helpful nurse, seduced victim role you claim directly contradicts the newfound confidence, aggressive nature and desire to dominant you say the sex trade job awakened... 

Try to keep it logical, when his smog clears these are things he will reflect on.


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

wannabeNurse2 said:


> I felt faint and like I was going to vomit. I finally told him the truth. A piece of me died. I hated to see him in pain and I caused that pain. I wanted him to punch me. I wanted to jump off our balcony and land painfully three flights down. Later I contemplated throwing myself in front of a train.


I read the entire post, but have not read all the responses. 

Based on your urge to cut, you might want to see a psychiatrist two rule out border line personality disorder. 

Also, you are making this all about you. Stop with the melodrama. Your husband is the injured spouse, not you. 

Also ask the psychiatrist to rule out histrionic personality disorder. 

If you are on anti-depressant meds, ensure that they do not reduce your level of self control. 

You are lucky your husband is willing to reconcile.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)




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## Paulination (Feb 6, 2012)

Wannabenurse-- All I'm going to say is thank you for having the courage to tell us your story. Most infedelity posts on here come from the perspective of those who have been cheated on so it is helpful to see the thought process of the cheater.

That said, the depth of your infedelity and the level of rationalizing you did while in the affair is truly disturbing. It does sound like it is something you will never repeat so hopefully the two of you can build on that.


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## one_strange_otter (Aug 26, 2008)

lordmayhem said:


>




I know right? lol...we should feel bad that we watch all these threads like they are soap operas just waiting for the secret ending where the brother in law is the father of the baby or the evil twin is discovered. We get hooked especially on every "i think i'm being cheated on" thread just waiting for that confirmation..... I think I get a dopamine high from reading the posts on TAM. I'm cheating on my job and TAM is my AP. I'm a a WE (wayward employee). lol

Ok, sorry for the thread jack. back to our regularly scheduled programming.


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## oaksthorne (Mar 4, 2011)

wannabeNurse2 said:


> My husband said I should come on here to get some support since he is on here too. I don't think it would really help, but I'll do just about anything to save our marriage. It all started when I moved to help take care of my Mom after her surgery. My nursing license took several months to switch over. We needed money so my sister took me in as her apprentice in her business working as a dominatrix. At first I was very reserved, but my sister kept pushing me to be more dominate and sexy for the clients. BTW my husband knew I was doing this job. It doesn't require me to be naked. No sex or blow jobs. Eventually I became dominate. The job became exciting. Guys were telling me how beautiful I was; something my husband stopped telling me a long time ago. The guys loved the sexy outfits I wore. I thought my husband didn't like me wearing lingerie. I began to feel empowered and sexy, but the job slowly ate away at my soul. Soon it wasn't any fun. I hated doing it. I dreaded getting calls for work. I needed something more to feel better. I essentially felt like a ***** without the sex. I want so badly to get a nursing job but everyone who was interviewing me said sorry kid you don't have enough experience. I became depressed despite being on antidepressants. Then one night I walked into a bar and a guy started talking to me. He told me his ribs hurt. I told him I was a nurse and I could examine him if he wanted me to. We went back to his place and after I examined him and finding a large lump on his left ribs I suggested he get it checked by a doctor. He looked at me and kissed me. I panicked. I didn't know what to do. I asked him what are we doing?!?! I'm married! He said we're just having fun. I was taken back by this, but I immediately went into work mode. I refused to have sex with him that night. However, the next time I saw him we were both drunk (not an excuse) and we ended up having sex. I figured he had already touched me. My fate was sealed. I was officially a cheating wh*re. I had no one I could talk to about it. I was lying to my whole family and friends. After I got over the initial shock it started to feel good and exciting. I was sneaking around like I was in high school. And with my job I was living two completely different lives. I noticed the sex wasn't as good as the sex I had with my husband. I just rationalized the ok sex as he didn't know me well enough sexually. Soon I started going to see him even though I didn't want sex:trading sex for compliments, cuddles, and attention. I knew the relationship wasn't going anywhere and it never would go anywhere because I didn't want to leave my husband. I planned on ending the affair as soon as my husband moved in with me. The relationship with my lover became crappy. He was always terrible at communicating. He wouldn't reply to texts for days and he wouldn't return my phone calls. Then he didn't want me to be over at his house because his parents were getting mad. (yea I picked a winner 33 y/o and living at home still) We started getting into fights. I notice he was becoming rougher in bed. Sex started to hurt sometimes. I started to fake orgasms. I realized we were just f#cking. It meant nothing to me or to him. I broke it off with him twice but I kept going back because he'd apologize. It was at this point that I begged my husband to move to where I was. He refused saying we couldn't afford it and he had to keep working his current job to cover bills. I felt rejected. My secret life continued. I started seeing my husband in my mind when I was having sex with my lover. I stopped seeing him as much. the relationship was dying. I went back home to see my husband for a few days. I was planning on ending my affair when I got back. My lover texted me at 4 in the morning a sexually explicit text. My husband was pissed. I panicked. I didn't want my marriage to be over so I did what I thought was best. I lied. It worked, or so I thought. Later that morning he searched my computer and found incriminating evidence. How could I be so stupid as to not remember to clear my messages? When he confronted me I felt faint and like I was going to vomit. I finally told him the truth. A piece of me died. I hated to see him in pain and I caused that pain. I wanted him to punch me. I wanted to jump off our balcony and land painfully three flights down. Later I contemplated throwing myself in front of a train. Our son needed a mother so I dismissed that idea. Plus attempting suicide would hurt my husband again. And what better punishment than to live through the pain and suffering I so rightfully deserved. I contemplated cutting. I needed to hurt myself, punish myself. Cutting would only upset my husband more so I started to internalize the pain. Horrible thoughts of him leaving me, how I poison ever relationship, how I don't deserve anyone, how he should divorce me, and how I should die kept going through my head. I went from not eating to eating too much. I started chain smoking. I hid out in my room. I didn't want to go to the bars because they reminded me of my ex-lover. After I came back to my sister's house I confronted my lover. I asked him what would possess him to text me such an explicit text at 4am when he knew I was with my husband. He said he didn't know what he was thinking and that he was sorry. He said he was drunk. I was disgusted. I wanted to punch him. I told him my marriage may be over. I said it was just as much my fault because I forgot to delete my yahoo IMs but I should of never been with you in the first place. He apologized again. He said he knew there was nothing he could do to make it up to me. I told him we were over because if my husband catches me cheating again he will take my son and leave. I told him I loved my son and my husband more than I cared about him. He apologized but then he asked if I wanted to go back to his house. I said you are terrible. Again I wanted to punch him. I turned around and walked away. I changed his name as do not answer in my phone. I had already deleted him on yahoo. I had deleted him from my facebook two weeks earlier after a fight. So now my husband and I are trying to fix our relationship. We are trying to have sex more often. He is moving where I am in 21 days. I'm busting butt to find a different job. The interviews are flooding in all of a sudden. I can't wait to stop working as a dominatrix. I feel pain and remorse for what I did, but my husband doesn't think I'm miserable and remorseful. Thoughts of him leaving, never being able to trust me again, and contemplation of suicide keep going through my mind. Will it ever get better? Is our relationship doomed now? I'm a cheating piece of [email protected] wh*re. Now I understand why they stoned adulterous women.


You lost me when you said you could not get a job as a nurse , because you didn't have experience. Nursing students who don't have their licenses yet, or have even taken their nursing board exams can go to work full time in many states. This is a profession with a career life of 3 years related to burn out, and there is a continual shortage of warm bodies to do the job. The professional nurse is in such demand that no nurse has to be out of work ever unless she wants to be.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

oaksthorne said:


> You lost me when you said you could not get a job as a nurse , because you didn't have experience. Nursing students who don't have their licenses yet, or have even taken their nursing board exams can go to work full time in many states. This is a profession with a career life of 3 years related to burn out, and there is a continual shortage of warm bodies to do the job. The professional nurse is in such demand that no nurse has to be out of work ever unless she wants to be.


:iagree:

The nursing shortage is such that they are importing nurses from other countries. My own SIL was able to emigrate to the US because of the nursing shortage. That's why my eldest is taking nursing because he will never be without a job. They even have medical assisting jobs now that basically do the jobs that LPNs do because of the shortage of LPNs and RNs. Two friends of ours were taking Medical Assisting courses, and were offered jobs even before they finished the course. 

That's why this "sorry kid, you don't have enough experience" is complete bullsh!t. Nursing students start getting job offers before they even finish the course. And as the baby boomer generation ages and the need medical care increases, the nursing shortage will become worse.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Yeah the cant get a nursing job sounds way off too. Though frankly it won't pay $200 for a session.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## crossbar (Aug 25, 2011)

wannabeNurse2 said:


> Wow. I'm truthful and tell how I am and have truly been feeling and I just get criticized and called a liar. Reading the replies just makes me feel even worse than I already feel. I wasn't looking for sympathy, but dang.


Well, what did you expect? You're coming to a site where a lot of us have been betrayed and we know all the tricks and all of the excuses and all of the actions that cheating spouses do. So, there are certain things that you say, we're not buying into.

For instance, stating that the dude had rib pain and you offered to examine him at his place? Come on now...I'm in medicine and I've never done a housecall. Face it, you wanted to go back to his place so you allowed yourself to do it under the guise of being "professional" and having nothing but honorable conditions. So, I'm not buying into that excuse.

If I remember this story correctly, you were having an affair for the last 15 months. So, given that timeline, you're never going to convince Iowa that it was a drunken mistake or that you didn't enjoy the sex because, well, frankly....the affair was going on for so long. If it was that bad, why would you have gone back time and time again? 

Now, here's the rub. You were in the driver's seat for your affair. NOW, Iowa is in the driver seat for what happens to this marriage. He may want to reconcile and it sounds like he does. But, one day he could wake up and decide that he can't do this anymore. And there's really nothing you can do about it. So, I strongly suggest that you two get into MC immediately. Also, and this is very important, you need to find one that specializes in infidelity.


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## Iowaboy (May 31, 2012)

this place is cancerous, I sent my wife her hoping she could get some help and support from those of you who have cheated, those of you who know what its like to be the cheater. I didn't come here to have her story torn apart and **** on. I have already gone over her story with a fine tooth comb, I know it wouldn't of stopped if i didn't find out, I know it would of continued cause I wouldn't of relized how bad our sex life and marriage have become because ive been worrying about bills and the stress of life too much and not making enough time for my wife. So, nothing would of changed between us and she would of continued to see him tell i caught her.

To tell me / her that finding a nursing job is easy when all ****ing hospitals are looking for 3 years experience on the floor your applying for, shes been fired from every ****ing Nursing home shes worked at, SHE HAS GENERALIZED PANIC DISORDER /Anxiety , and is bipolar. 
F this place, I would like to say thanks to those of you who gave us helpful suggestions about the books we will definatly look into them and if we feel we need counseling will do so on our own terms.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

Iowaboy said:


> I know it would of continued cause I wouldn't of relized how bad our sex life and marriage have become because ive been worrying about bills and the stress of life too much and not making enough time for my wife. So, nothing would of changed between us and she would of continued to see him tell i caught her.


So what changed now? You quit your job to spend more time with your cheating wife?

She had no problem screwing around while you were busting your ass to make the ends meet, is that the kind of a wife you're proud to have?


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## Iowaboy (May 31, 2012)

Did you guys even read the part where she is in chicago ? and im in IOWA it was the distance that caused her to stray more than anything. bunch of f'ing jackels.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Dude, look at the list of her issues you just gave. And you honestly believe she could suddenly now be telling you the truth? Really?

Do you think someone with those issues could be a nurse, or a dominatrix, or a faithful wife?

On this site we have seen do much, and heard so many lies from cheaters that we no longer get taken in by them. Obviously you want to believe her, because you fear loosing her and your son. And that fear is making you blind to her whole story.

You of course must do what you want, but you should've watching her like a hawk, especially for STDs and suddenly getting pregnant with your kid.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Iowaboy said:


> Did you guys even read the part where she is in chicago ? and im in IOWA it was the distance that caused her to stray more than anything. bunch of f'ing jackels.


No, it was her choice to stray. Until you and her stop blaming everything around you and start realizing she isan adult who chose to cheat, you are lost.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

Iowaboy said:


> Did you guys even read the part where she is in chicago ? and im in IOWA it was the distance that caused her to stray more than anything. bunch of f'ing jackels.


Are you sure she wont be seeking other men there? 

Since you haven't met her sexual needs she might seeking some over there as well?


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

Iowaboy said:


> Did you guys even read the part where she is in chicago ? and im in IOWA it was the distance that caused her to stray more than anything. bunch of f'ing jackels.


I call Bull. 

I had a long distance relationship with my STBEH and I never looked at another man once we agreed to be exclusive. 

We weren't' even engaged at that point. 

If I had come here when I first tried to reconcile with my STBEH, I would have labeled this place as unhelpful and cancerous, too.

Now, after finding ongoing lies and deceit, I know better. 

Just stay alert, that's all we are saying. 

You sound like a great husband, much better than this person deserves. 

All she seems to care about is herself. Me me, I, I. That's all I hear.

Meanwhile you are taking all the blame. I call bull.


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

Iowaboy said:


> Did you guys even read the part where she is in chicago ? and im in IOWA it was the distance that caused her to stray more than anything. bunch of f'ing jackels.


:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:


Never go away from her else she will stray.


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## crossbar (Aug 25, 2011)

Iowaboy said:


> this place is cancerous, I sent my wife her hoping she could get some help and support from those of you who have cheated, those of you who know what its like to be the cheater. I didn't come here to have her story torn apart and **** on. I have already gone over her story with a fine tooth comb, I know it wouldn't of stopped if i didn't find out, I know it would of continued cause I wouldn't of relized how bad our sex life and marriage have become because ive been worrying about bills and the stress of life too much and not making enough time for my wife. So, nothing would of changed between us and she would of continued to see him tell i caught her.
> 
> To tell me / her that finding a nursing job is easy when all ****ing hospitals are looking for 3 years experience on the floor your applying for, shes been fired from every ****ing Nursing home shes worked at, SHE HAS GENERALIZED PANIC DISORDER /Anxiety , and is bipolar.
> F this place, I would like to say thanks to those of you who gave us helpful suggestions about the books we will definatly look into them and if we feel we need counseling will do so on our own terms.


 Dude, it's called owning up to your sh*t. Which she has to do. You're sending her to a forum where a lot of people have been hurt by actions similar to what she has done. 

I'll tell you what, if she came in here and said, " I really don't have any excuse. I hurt my family terribly. I f*cked up." 
She would still get a little bashing, but if she could take the lumps, people would be like, "Damn right you f*cked up!.....now, here's some things you can do to fix this."

We had a couple in here now too long ago. The wife cheated on the husband and she showed true remorse. And you know what? That thread had pages and pages and PAGES of support. 

I wouldn't give up just yet. Yeah, you're going to get people on here that bash. But, you take the posts that actually mean something and is supportive and leave the rest behind. Ignore those and take the advice that is meaningful. And I stand by what I said. I strongly recommend that you two find a counselor that deals with infidelity. If you want this to work, then you need professional help. People will be here that is supportive, but I think one on one help is needed by a trained professional. I would also reccommend that your wife receive individual counseling.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Iowaboy said:


> To tell me / her that finding a nursing job is easy when all ****ing hospitals are looking for 3 years experience on the floor your applying for,


Only in specialized nursing like surgical nursing. And even then, they train you on the job. So tell me Iowaboy, how come my SIL, who came from the Philippines, straight out of college, could find work at any hospital she chooses? And you say your WW is in a big city like Chicago? Oh puhleeze. 



Iowaboy said:


> shes been fired from every ****ing Nursing home shes worked at, SHE HAS GENERALIZED PANIC DISORDER /Anxiety , and is bipolar.


Well, being fired from every nursing job and having BPD and a panic disorder, is the most likely reason she can't find work then. Her resume doesn't look that great, does it? What hospital is going to want to hire her with that kind of history? Can we say malpractice?


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## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)

Well that didn't end well...... 

I think iowaboy has been shining his white knight armour since d-day, he takes most of the blame for his wife's cheating not to mention her bizarre transition from Nurse Ratched to latex and leather whips. Nevertheless, wannabenurse, repeatedly having sex with a strange man that has suspicious lumps all over his body wasn't a good idea, and your career aspirations both the day and "night" shifts don't fit with an individual that has social anxiety. Just sayin'.


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## betamale (Apr 25, 2012)

This thread is BS, right?


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Iowaboy said:


> Did you guys even read the part where she is in chicago ? and im in IOWA it was the distance that caused her to stray more than anything. bunch of f'ing jackels.


If you go ahead and rugs weep this affair, chances are she'll have another. Trust me, I've been the betrayed one in a marriage. He married one of the women he had a "relationship" with, married her and now he has had several affairs on her. He was bragging this to his 15 year old child.

I left as soon as I found out. I couldn't be happier! I found a man who loves and respects me. A man whom is in love with me for the last 13 years, we still are in our honeymoon phase. It's nice to have a spouse you can 100% trust. A man who puts my needs before his own.

Infidelity is my #1 deal breaker, and an 18 month affair is absolutely insane. Where's the love for you? Long distance or not, you are suppose to be her only lover! A spouse who takes their vows seriously and loves/respects the other does not cheat. I find it devious that she befriended the OM's wife and stabbed her in the back. Ruining 2 people's lives for sure. There are vibrators, dildos, magic bullets, more sex toys to keep you satisfied while your apart. Not another man. Who knows, maybe there were more. Hanging out in bars are not the best places to hang out when your married. 

I'm sorry, but I have no empathy for a spouse that has fallen in love with another man much less sleep with him. I don't care who they are. It was very malicious what she did to both you and the OM's wife. 

BTW, it's not your fault your wife fell in love with another man, it's her own fault and needs to take 100% responsibility. No lame or any excuses can justify what she has done.


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## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

Ok, so NOW she is a Wiccan/nurse/dominatrix with GPD AND bi-polar? There is a phrase that they use in the Entertainment industry, "suspension of disbelief". That is whats going on here. These people will keep adding more preposterous stuff, as long as they can get people to bite. But I have to say that it IS entertaining.


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## betamale (Apr 25, 2012)

Badblood said:


> Ok, so NOW she is a Wiccan/nurse/dominatrix with GPD AND bi-polar? There is a phrase that they use in the Entertainment industry, "suspension of disbelief". That is whats going on here. These people will keep adding more preposterous stuff, as long as they can get people to bite.


I thought I was the only one not buying this crap.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Badblood said:


> Ok, so NOW she is a Wiccan/nurse/dominatrix with GPD AND bi-polar? There is a phrase that they use in the Entertainment industry, "suspension of disbelief". That is whats going on here. These people will keep adding more preposterous stuff, as long as they can get people to bite. But I have to say that it IS entertaining.


I don't know. This is behavior of someone with GPD and BD. It's too long and detailed for a troll in my opinion.


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## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> I don't know. This is behavior of someone with GPD and BD. It's too long and detailed for a troll in my opinion.


Sorry but I think you are being gullible. Neither one of them mentioned GPD or bi-polar in their opening posts on either thread. They only add things to explain inconsistancies away.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Badblood said:


> Sorry but I think you are being gullible. Neither one of them mentioned GPD or bi-polar in their opening posts on either thread. They only add things to explain inconsistancies away.


Well, gullible or not there are many people who leave valuable information out the first few posts. This is what I have observed anyways. A lot of posts start out with very little information about a subject.

Of course people lie and make up stories. I understand that, but I also understand what it's like to be told I'm not telling the truth when in fact I am. I have no reason to lie. The beauty of this forum is to have fake names to hide our identity.


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## Jonesey (Jul 11, 2011)

I´m most likely get **** for this but so be it..


Then one night I walked into a bar and a guy started talking to me. He told me his ribs hurt. I told him I was a nurse and I could examine him if he wanted me to. *So far so good, right?* We went back to his place. *Why??**Just some rib problem right?Could have been checked at the bar*. and after _I examined him and finding a large lump on his left ribs I suggested he get it checked by a doctor._
*Good.* *Time to leave then right? *_But . He looked at me and kissed me. I panicked. I didn't know what to do._ *Oh please
Spear me the baloney. speach. I mean working as a dominatrix, no problem right?*sigh** _I asked him what are we doing?!?_! *Of course you would ask that…I mean all it was indented was to give a stranger a check up.You are the nurse
7years old are we?* _I was taken back by this, but I immediately went into work mode._ *What work mode? *

_I refused to have sex with him that night._*Good nurses should not have sex with patiant´s..*

_However, the next time I saw him _(*Strange to meet the same random guy like that drunk)*_we were both drunk_ (not an excuse) and we ended up having sex. _I figured he had already touched me._*The excuse of the week* _My fate was sealed. I was officially a cheating wh*re_
*Sorry you was that officially the first time you went home
With guy to give him one exam. In his home.
*
Why to a get the feeling this guy is a client went wrong..

._ I was lying to my whole family and friends. After I got over the initial shock it started to feel good and exciting. I was sneaking around like I was in high school. And with my job I was living two completely different lives. I noticed the sex wasn't as good as the sex I had with my husband.__(Seriously u wana go there? _I just rationalized the ok sex as he didn't know me well enough sexually. _Soon I started going to see him even though I didn't want sex_*:You trading sex for compliments, Because you fell in “love”cuddles, and attention.* _I knew the relationship wasn't going anywhere and it never would go anywhere because I didn't want to leave my husband. I planned on ending the affair as soon as my husband moved in with me._ *Sure you did.*. _The relationship with my lover became crappy. He was always terrible at communicating. He wouldn't reply to texts for days and he wouldn't return my phone calls._*Why keep it on with DOUCH. Trading sex for affection?
I must ask what affection´s was out of this world.That you had to resort to keep contacting a douchbag living at home*Then he didn't want me to be over at his house because his parents were getting mad. (yea I picked a winner 33 y/o and living at home still…


We started getting into fights. I notice he was becoming rougher in bed. Sex started to hurt sometimes. I started to fake orgasms. _I realized we were just f#cking._*Why would that matter to you? You said you only did it because of the trade of.* _It meant nothing to me or to him_*It never ever meant anything to him.Sorry.* I broke it off with him twice but I kept going back because he'd apologize. *Treats u like **** and apologize, you go back? WTF.*. _It was at this point that I begged my husband to move to where I was_. *It was at this point that you finally realized ,your OM was complete loser.
No future prospects.. *

Where is the trading sex for attention …You was/are I LOVE


_I didn't want to go to the bars because they reminded me of my ex-lover._*Yepp there it is again*


_I can't wait to stop working as a dominatrix_.*Whats stoping you? It seems like you managed to have a whole lot a time with OM.And not working as much as you should have been..* _I feel pain _*Believe that*. _and remorse for what I did_, but my husband doesn't think I'm miserable and remorseful.

Quite frankly I cant see it either.. Here is one hint
_I had deleted him from my facebook two weeks earlier after a fight._ 

*And some more*


He refused saying we couldn't afford it and he had to keep working his current job to cover bills. _I felt rejected_. _*Seriously little rejection is all it took?*_*And you wonder why your husband dosent belive u.*._My secret life continued. I started seeing my husband in my mind when I was having sex with my lover._ _Oh please. I know that sentence was probably was meant in a very warped waycoming a cross a nice..
But seriously
_

_After I came back to my sister's house I confronted my lover. I asked him what would possess him to text me such an explicit text at 4am when he knew I was with my husband._* And he should care?? He is not married. You are *He said he didn't know what he was thinking and that he was sorry. He said he was drunk. _I was disgusted. I wanted to punch him_. *But not when the sex changed(You claim it started to hurt). The sex you traded for attention and cuddling and so on.* _I told him my marriage may be over_.*IT is OVER.* _I said it was just as much my fault because I forgot to delete my yahoo._ *Oh poor little you. How could you be so forgetful, not to delete..IMs . I mean now you have spoil it for your self. No more fun*.but I should of never been with you in the first place. He apologized again. He said he knew there was nothing he could do to make it up to me._ I told him we were over because if my husband catches me cheating again he will take my son and leave._ *Hmm interesting explanation. Not the one you would expect. I have already ruined everything already…And I might have lost my husband and family that means he world to me.* _I told him I loved my son and my husband more than I cared about_ *him.The Douchbag needed to hear that from you because? He apologized but then he asked if I wanted to go back to his*SIGH* *



You are so divorced if you are not starting to come clean

I being harsh yeas I know. But your story has more holes in them then the famous swiss cheese


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

This whole thing is bizarre but I don't understand how you can't handle working in a nursing home but can handle being a dominatrix. Seems like something a person with panic disorder would have a lot of trouble with.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Iowaboy said:


> also, we don't belong to a church, shes a wiccan and I'm not that big into religion. Also our student loans can't be fore bared anymore, im already on interst only payments for the next 2 years. She also didn't mention our son because she is taking care of him during the days


There's something for everyone, it seems!
Pagan Therapy and Counseling for a Pagan World


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

Good people make bad decisions. Those decisions are in the past. 

Today your new life starts and you can become the person you thought you were. It is a tough road of self examination and realization.
You can do it.


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## snap (Oct 3, 2011)

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> I don't know. This is behavior of someone with GPD and BD. It's too long and detailed for a troll in my opinion.


Not if a troll has OCD


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

warlock07 said:


> I don't think they are trolling . Where do you think the people who work in the adult industry come from? These are people that have a life very different from what normal people usually have. I know a couple of webcam girls that do it with the full support of the spouse/bf and have a normal life outside of it. These people don't live in vacuum. And the dominatrix part isn't the focus of the story. Her being a dominatrix has nothing to do with the infidelity. She met the man at a club.
> 
> By calling out people who turned to the forum for help trolls isn't doing the forum any favor. This even happened in the Juicer's thread. If you think someone is a troll, I think it is better to stop responding to the thread. The negative outweigh the positives by a large margin.


When I was 22 I went out with a woman who was 6 years older than me she had three children and, it transpired, she was a part time call girl. But what really put the mockers on the relationship was the fact that she was bisexual and, with genuine regret, I like to think (well, she told me she was sorry) dumped me for a woman.

I was so f***ed up and over by this that I went away and crawled into a dark hole and never even thought of dating for nearly 8 years. In the midst of all this she tried to get back together via a mutual friend, but I could not cope with the angst and drama, so declined the offer. 

Now if I read that story I'd be tempted to think it was fiction. But I carried the mental scars of that relationship for years, so I know otherwise.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Iowaboy said:


> I'll look into the surviving an affair book for sure, the passion part wont be hard, our sex has always been good just not that frequent for the last couple years, do to chiild birth and unemployment issues. We just haven't had time to really romance each other. =
> 
> As for the std thing, we will get checked


The word "passion" does not only refer to sex. 

The "passion" those books help you build is the passion of being deeply in love and doing what is needed to take care of your spouses needs and to make sure your needs are met as well.

You admitted here that your wife had been telling you that here were problems from her view point for some time, but you ignored what she told you. I'm sure she was not perfect either.

The two of you could learn a lot about how to have a passionate relationship.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

snap said:


> Not if a troll has OCD


Yes, but someone with OCD does need help. And having OCD probably precludes them from having a meaningful relationship, so this site is probably perfect, if it helps them deal with their OCD.


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

I called TROLL in Iowaboy’s (the alleged husband) thread titled “Dday, has arrived and stated that I had done so because of the tone of the OP and the inconsistencies of the story. I then pointed out the following.

First, the husband had time to write us post after post telling us to stay tuned, but did not have time to tell us even the most basics details of the affair. 

Second, the husband told us that the wife was "sans job and doesn't help pay the bills right now", yet the wife told us "We needed money so my sister took me in as her apprentice in her business working as a dominatrix". The wife worked the paid dominatrix job for months and told us that the husband knew. See the inconsistency?

The husband stopped posting to that thread when the above was pointed out. If the alleged husband’s thread is a TROLL, then the wife’s thread is also a TROLL. Based on this and the additional inconsistencies pointed out by others, I again call *TROLL!!!*


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

I always says, if you think you spot a troll, ask admin. Admin usually have troll hunting tools.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

The administrator or a moderator can check the IP address' of both user's.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Could we maybe get a suspected troll button on posts that would alert admins? Maybe it would only show up if you've posted 25+ times like the private section.


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