# sad,alone,wondering about GOD.



## caughtdreaming

I am in the middle of an unwanted divorce.
I did nothing to cause it, I still don't want it. 
I'm heartbroken, grief stricken, and alone. 
I am very very depressed. 

I'm wondering if you guys can help me out with these questions.

Is this God's "plan" for me?
Does God really even care about me?
Why would God want to put me through this incredible pain? 
It is unbearable. 
Is there a reason why I am going through this?
Do you think I did something majorly wrong and this is my punishment?
How can God help me? 
How do I ask God to help me?

Basically, Where is "God" in all of this?
Why did I get to feel love only to have it taken away from me? 
I would have rather had my love die than to have it taken away and still know it is walking around breathing and living life. It is a living nightmare. 

Thanks.


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## BigToe

caughtdreaming said:


> Is this God's "plan" for me?


I don't know.



caughtdreaming said:


> Does God really even care about me?


Yes.



caughtdreaming said:


> Why would God want to put me through this incredible pain?


Your spouse put you through this. Seek God to help you get through it.



caughtdreaming said:


> It is unbearable.
> Is there a reason why I am going through this?


Yes. Your spouse is divorcing you.



caughtdreaming said:


> Do you think I did something majorly wrong and this is my punishment?


No.



caughtdreaming said:


> How can God help me?
> How do I ask God to help me?


Pray and ask God to help you. It's as simple as that.



caughtdreaming said:


> Basically, Where is "God" in all of this? Why did I get to feel love only to have it taken away from me?


The simple answer is because your spouse wanted to divorce you.


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## caughtdreaming

.....thanks...


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## 827Aug

Unfortunately "suffering" is part of the Christian life. I certainly don't have answers to all of the questions you posed. And I have at some point in my own nightmare had plenty of questions too. 

Perhaps pray that God comfort you and provide guidance at this time. In addition, ask that your husband might change his heart. Really you need to turn this over to God and have faith. Otherwise all of the questions about the future will drive you crazy. 

{{{Hugs}}}


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## 4sure

It rains on the just, and on the unjust.

Sometimes God moves not so good people out of our lives to make room for the good ones.

Life is full of ups, and downs whether you are Christian or not. Believing in God doesn't exempt you.


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## cb45

u didnt tell us much of anything. like what is/was yer rel'shp with God like before 
marr'd life?

what do/did u believe?

etc etc.

then maybe u wont get these kinda responses, tho' some
are nice.......yet still.........uninformed to be honest.

shalom aleichem.[/SIZE][/FONT]


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## Parrothead

caughtdreaming said:


> Is this God's "plan" for me?


No, God is very much against divorce. That doesn't mean that it doesn't happen.



> Does God really even care about me?


Yes, you are more important than a sparrow falling from the sky, and He keeps track of His sparrows.



> Why would God want to put me through this incredible pain?


He is not doing this, beloved. You are feeling the effects of sin on mankind. 



> It is unbearable.


No, it's not. You will make it, although there will be days when you don't think you will.



> Is there a reason why I am going through this?


Because someone made a mistake. God is not doing this.



> Do you think I did something majorly wrong and this is my punishment?


No.



> How can God help me?


He can guide you through it.



> How do I ask God to help me?


Just that way. It doesn't have to be anything formal.



> Basically, Where is "God" in all of this?


He's right where he was the last time you saw Him. 



> Why did I get to feel love only to have it taken away from me?
> I would have rather had my love die than to have it taken away and still know it is walking around breathing and living life. It is a living nightmare.
> 
> Thanks.


I recommend prayer, and lots of it. That's how I got through the mess my life had become. And while you're at it, pray for your estranged spouse.


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## cisco7931

@TS - I am in the same boat as you are my friend, and its been 57 days since my wife called it quits (no, we don't have divorce in our country)

At this stage in my life, this is where I rekindled my relationship with God. You see, I haven't been the ideal Christian since my Mom died of Cancer 11 years ago. I blamed Him for my Mom's suffering, and ultimately her leaving us alone without a Woman to lead our home. 

Fast forward May of this year, another heart-wrenching stage of my life unfolded. Without any warning, my wife called it quits after I wanted a cool-off period. 

It was the most terrible pain I've ever felt in my life. And this made me realize that things in this world is beyond our control. I ended up accepting the fact that there are things only God knows. 

At this point, I am still struggling with accepting the fact that my life has just crashed in front of me. And I didnt know the reason behind it. Why? I was OK all this time, then this happens... Why do we all have to suffer and endure this pain, Why is He allowing this to happen to good people?

Then it hits me... All this time, I was complacent, I was OK, I was living the life the way I wanted to, the way I know is "right"... But I realized now that there are a lot of things broken in our lives, mine in particular, that needs fixing. And if God didn't allow this to happen, I would have died not fixing those things, thus making my children continue suffering, and following my footsteps. That realization made me grow.. Its a struggle, but I have grown from who I was back in May to who I am now... 

I'm telling you this my friend, God is with you more NOW than he was before.. He is trying to teach you an invaluable lesson that you wouldnt have learned if you arent going through this... Be thankful that you were given the privilege to go through this... He is now with You, focusing on you, calming you, and molding you to His image... 

Trust in Him... Pray to Him... Thank Him... And remain silent throughout all this... For in Silence, God Speaks... 

I wish you well... And I know that this will ultimately make a better You...


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## annagarret

My heart bleeds for your pain. God is crying over your divorce also. It was not His plan, but he gave us all free will. God does love you and will lift you up on eagles wings. We don't know why he allows us to suffer so, except to draw us closer to Him and for our lives to witness to an unbeliever who may come to know Jesus through our pain and suffering. Please know you are not alone in your suffering. I will pray for God's perfect peace to be upon you. Read your Bible, King David went through much pain too..


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## caughtdreaming

Thank you everyone. 
Parrothead, cisco, annagarret thanks. 
I wasn't blaming God by any means. I guess I was just very confused and was questioning why these things happen. 

Concerning the divorce, I still do not want it. However I can see why it is happening and why it may have to happen. We are not the same and never were. My H faked believing in God just so he could date me. He pretty much faked every aspect of life just so he could be with me. Now that he is older, he's tired of "pretending" to be someone he is not. I cannot change him nor do I want to change him. I would still stay with him regardless of differences, but he is tired and just does not want to continue. Yes I was lied to. 

I was/am not "religious" by any means, but someone who aspired to be "christ-like" and believe in God.

Through these past 5 years I have put it on the back burner and never paid it any mind. I don't think I have said an honest prayer for 5 years except at the supper table. I feel guilty about it. When I look back I see how my life all unfolded in front of me and I never once asked for guidance or help from God. I wanted to do it on my own. I pretty much down right failed.

It's not even about the looming divorce anymore, it is about me and what needs to be done to fix myself.


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## cisco7931

^ From what I can see, you are at a stage where you are "ready" and vulnerable to understand, or at least try to, who you really are. 

Your understanding of "why" this is happening now doesn't stop when your husband started to pretend the past 5 years... My friend, its WAAY deeper than that. Your reactions to what he has done, and pretty much your lack of faith, and your "wanting" to fix yourself all goes back to your roots. 

As hard as it may seem to understand, your problems now are just the results of what you have been in the past. You have to turn back time, and go back to your roots to find the CAUSES... Yes, its hard... But when you see the pieces fall into its proper places, thats when you can see that God is touching you now, He wants you to get fixed because you have been so broken all this time. 

Do a little soul-searching from this day forward. Go back to when you were young, go back to your teen years (it helps to PHYSICALLY go back to places dear to you in the process) and you will find answers of why this is happening to you now...  That is what you call healing...  

In my case, I had a lot of "Aha" moments myself, and when I did, the weight on my shoulders slowly became lighter... Because it is easy to figure out a solution when you know what the problem is rather than shooting an aimless gun hoping to hit a target... 

In my case, my problem as I have found out is the death of my mother 11 years ago - That is the reason why I never valued "family", particularly my wife's family (one of her issues with me) because there wasnt a mother figure to teach me how to. I always focused on work, because after my mom died, all i knew was MONEY and WORK, and thats pretty much where my life revolved in...

How did that help? Now, I am closer than I have ever been to her family and mine, and they are 100% supportive of me and what we are going through, and it feels great... 

Nothing in this world is too late... Go out, Pray, ask for his guidance, and prepare to embark on your life's greatest journey by far... 

See? God is with you now more than ever...


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## Parrothead

caughtdreaming said:


> I was/am not "religious" by any means, but someone who aspired to be "christ-like" and believe in God.
> 
> Through these past 5 years I have put it on the back burner and never paid it any mind. I don't think I have said an honest prayer for 5 years except at the supper table. I feel guilty about it. When I look back I see how my life all unfolded in front of me and I never once asked for guidance or help from God. I wanted to do it on my own. I pretty much down right failed.
> 
> It's not even about the looming divorce anymore, it is about me and what needs to be done to fix myself.


You don't need to be "fixed", you need to recover. Take the time to mourn, you're allowed.

And don't worry about God. He understands.


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## cb45

truly reach out to HIM and he'll TRULY reach out to you but in bigger better bestest ways
known (& unknown) to man.

dont feel guilty 'bout coming to HIM only when u are in trouble.
join/welcome to the biggest club/section of believers there are
in the courtyard of "born-again" believers (some, who go on to
become HIS "best" achievers!). very few do come w/out
calamatous causes as catalysts calling them "homeward"
once more. and those who did, come mildly i'd reckon w/out
anything to brag/boast about, thats 4 sure.

shalom.


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## Cara

I know it is corny & nobody seems to like it, but I like to read that Footprints poem when I am feeling very alone. I even have a journal/blank book that has the poem on the cover that I write in when I am looking for direction & support. (I have a few different journals, each with it's own purpose.)

One night I had a dream--
I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord 
and across the sky flashed scenes from my life. 
For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints, 
one belonged to me and the other to the Lord. 
When the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that many times along the path of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest
and saddest times in my life. 
This really bothered me and I questioned the Lord about it. 
"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you would walk with me all the way,
but I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life
there is only one set of footprints. 
"I don't understand why in times when I needed you most,
you should leave me." 
The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child,
I love you and I would never, never leave you
during your times of trial and suffering. 
"When you saw only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."

...Mary Stevenson


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## BigToe

FAX FROM GOD

To: You
From: God
Subject: Yourself
Reference: Life

This is GOD. Today I will be handling all of your problems for you. I do not need your help.

If life happens to deliver a situation you cannot deal with, do Not attempt to resolve it yourself! Kindly pray to me about it and I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but in my time, not yours. Once you have prayed to me about the matter, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.

Should you have a bad day at work; think of the person who has been out of work for years.

Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; think of the person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in return.

Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children.

Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance; think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.

Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.

Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about, asking what is my purpose? Be thankful. There are those who didn't live long enough to get the opportunity.

Should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; remember, things could be worse. You could be one of them!

Now go have a nice day and leave everything to me.
GOD


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## marksaysay

As some have already stated, you are not alone in that there are several who are dealing with unwanted divorces, including myself. After 9 months, I am have just now gotten to the point where my trust is in the fact that God DOES know what He's doing. You may ask, "well, what is he doing?". That's not an answer we can get an immediate answer to in the way that we want. What we can know is that He's doing it in order to be glorified by whatever the outcome may be. 

He may be preparing you to be able to help others deal with situations like this. He may be teaching you that dependence upon him is what is required to live a life that's pleasing in His eyes. He may be simply temporarily tearing something (your marriage) down in order to build it up. We don't have these answers. We do know that whatever it is, it's for our good and his glory. Unfortunately, it takes adverse circumstances like this to draw people closer to him. 

My situation has not reached a resolution yet. We are still going through divorce proceedings. But during this time, I have grown closer to God and have gained a greater understanding of who HE is. Without this pending divorce, it may have taken several years for me to reach this point. 

Know that you're not alone. There are many pulling for you. There are many here to give you some encouraging words when you need them. There are many who have been or are going down that same road and have made it. Hold on. Keep your head up. Take this time to learn about what you may or may not have done during your marriage and work on making some changes. Those changes may help when there is a reconciliation or a new relationship. Either way you will be a better person for the experience.


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## marksaysay

BigToe said:


> FAX FROM GOD
> 
> To: You
> From: God
> Subject: Yourself
> Reference: Life
> 
> This is GOD. Today I will be handling all of your problems for you. I do not need your help.
> 
> If life happens to deliver a situation you cannot deal with, do Not attempt to resolve it yourself! Kindly pray to me about it and I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but in my time, not yours. Once you have prayed to me about the matter, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.
> 
> Should you have a bad day at work; think of the person who has been out of work for years.
> 
> Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; think of the person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in return.
> 
> Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children.
> 
> Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance; think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.
> 
> Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.
> 
> Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about, asking what is my purpose? Be thankful. There are those who didn't live long enough to get the opportunity.
> 
> Should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; remember, things could be worse. You could be one of them!
> 
> Now go have a nice day and leave everything to me.
> GOD



Such an awesome post. I'll have to make a copy of this letter for myself.


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## weR2

>>I'm heartbroken, grief stricken, and alone.<<
Are you heartbroken? Or is your heart empty? Hungry for love?

>>Is this God's "plan" for me?<<
I do not think that God planned misery for anyone. It is of our own "free will" that we get ourselves into jams. I am not convinced that God made you get married. I would say that it was you that made the decision to marry that man.

>>Does God really even care about me?<<
I am sure that He does care about you. Have you considered this: have you "asked" God for guidance in what to do? Have you asked him to help you with your life? If the answer is YES, then could it be possible that the divorce is an answer to your prayer? Perhaps you prayed to change your H, but, God cannot change your H "free will", so then divorce would be the other option. In that case your prayer was answered.

>>Why would God want to put me through this incredible pain?<<
The pain you are feeling is pain that most of us have felt, and I would say that from that pain, we have all grown. Life experiences are priceless, and after time you realize the growth and you will blossom. I liken it to the seasons, without the seasons there is no growth. Look at the flowers after the harsh winter. That is the cycle of life, we see it everywhere in nature.

>>It is unbearable.<<
At first it seems that way, but "spring" will come, it always does.

>>Is there a reason why I am going through this?<<
Perhaps you are going through this because this is what you needed to meet your next SO, time to grow so that you will be a better person. Perhaps you are going through this because your soul needed this kind of life experience? Only you can answer that, and it may be a long time before you really understand it.

>>Do you think I did something majorly wrong and this is my punishment?<<
None of us can determine whether or not you did anything wrong, we cannot judge you. But, unless you actually took the life of a potential soul-bearing creature, I doubt it.

>>How can God help me?<<
Nobody is entirely sure of that, but I always try to reach into my soul to find the answer. God is all-knowing, God is love, God is always there, God is everything. If these basic truths are real, then He is in us as well. Our problem is to discover how to "listen" to Him, how do we know what He is suggesting?

>>How do I ask God to help me?<<
My personal thought is that if I am "following" the obscure "path" that He has left us, then we have already asked Him for help.

>>Basically, Where is "God" in all of this?<<
He is everywhere around it, because within it there is love. Just because you are divorcing does not necessarily mean that you must stop loving!

>>Why did I get to feel love only to have it taken away from me?<<
Love was not taken away from you! That love still exists, now you get the opportunity to experience another deeper love!

>>I would have rather had my love die than to have it taken away and still know it is walking around breathing and living life. It is a living nightmare.<<
If love dies, then God dies. Can't happen! If you give it a chance, you will see, when the "season" changes you will have even more love, hence you will be happier and grow tremendously.

Hang in there! You will see!


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## allisterfiend

This is as close to a prayer that I will come to: Dragged you down below. Down to the devil's show, to be his guest forever. (Peace of mind is less than never)

I Hate to twist your mind, but god aint on your side. An old aquaintance severed. Flesh is burning, you can smell it in the air, cause men like you have such an easy soul to steal.

You cant wake up and sweat, cause it aint over yet. Your still dancing with your demons. Your a victim of your own creation.

You need the will to fight, where all thats wrong is right. where hate dont need a reason. (Loating self-assasinaton)

You've been lied to just to rape you of your sight (with religion), and now they have the nerve to tell you how to feel.

Therapists? They leave you so sedated as they medicate your brain and while you slowly go insane they tell you "given with the best intentions, help you with your complicatons!!"

And I know you hear their voices.(calling from above) And I know they may seem real.But our life's made up of choices.(some without appeal) But they took for granted your soul, and its thiers now left to steal.

Fight! Not to fail, not to fall, or you'll end up like the others. You need to feel the fire, feel the hate, your pain is what they desire. You feel lost? LIke you hit the wall? She is just watching you crawl. She is a replaceable liar. 

You should have known the price of evil (marriage/wife). And it hurts to know that you belong here. There is no one to call, and everybody to fear. Your trajic fate is looking so clear. Its your nightmare.-A7X

All Im saying is no one or no thing is gonna bring happiness back into your life other than yourself.


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## Bartimaus

OP, I have went through the same thing 4 times now with a wife of 38 years. 
Let me say that the only sense I can make of why you feel like you do is because you don't have enough friends for support. God never intended for us to be alone and hurt because our spouse has left us to suffer a type of hell. I have heard people say that God is their everything. What? Didn't God make Adam? And didn't God then have to make Eve for him because God saw that it was not good for the man to be alone? I am presently going throug what you are going through and it's pure hell at times. But with this being my fourth time I am learning to not be so worried about it because I know from experience that if I can keep myself busy and my mind occupied that it will get easier fast. Very few men would have allowed themselves to be put in this condition again by this woman but I have never had the desire to do the one thing that would prevent this hellish torment...and that is to find someone that really loved me and thus prevent this from happening again. Ah but this time what she done was so pathetic it has shocked me that she has got so bad. And I am telling everyone,even church people that have known us for 35 years. Because I am now determined that this will not happen by her again because she is so low down and no good.
So I am looking for someone that will be support and good for me and looking for friends that will be there. You need people to talk to and to be able to tell all. 
It seems that this is a place that God cannot help us because of our emotional condition which causes us to be and think things that God cannot approach.


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## cb45

i pray n i believe....
yer emotional state will pass & u will think clearly again....
someday soon.....
but process/steps come 1st..........
no way 'round it.


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## Calisha Brown

My personal opinion is that God is every where and we just need love to reach nearly to God.


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## cb45

but...God is love so....

"when i was a child i used to reason as a child but....."


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