# How strange is this?



## cantletgo (Mar 22, 2010)

Ok, so my H and I technically separated, under the same roof for the time being. He cheated on me but the details of that don't pertain to this. I met a guy and quite frankly, had my revenge. My H knows I met this guy and that we've been talking. He asked me yesterday if I'd slept with him, so I told him the truth. Now comes the strange part. He got majorly turned on asking me questions, so much so that he practically attacked me and we ended up having mind blowing sex. 

I have always known that he viewed things differently when it came to sex, but this is just so strange. Anyone else out there get turned on by hearing about their partner having sex with someone else?:scratchhead:


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## Anya (May 22, 2010)

Yes, happens to me very often. I have a very stable relationship with my fiance so I don't go for anybody else. But he gets very turned on when he asks me questions about the way I used to have sex with my exes. He always tells me that's a turn on for him, and I personally don't get it why but as long as he enjoys it, what do I care? Haha.  hope this helps.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I have read about this a few times in some sex/relationship books, and for some people -yeah, this is a "normal" reaction -mostly from men! Just thinking about how another man wanted you or you loosing it sexually with someone else, it just does something to the psyche , the jealousy of it can be a real turn on. Either men get real HURT & angry or some get turned on by it, it again arouses their interest in you. 

I never had to find out which my husband is but I've asked , He swears he would NOT be turned on but pi**ed off. 

In your case, it seems the "revenge affair" was just what was ordered.


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## cantletgo (Mar 22, 2010)

He continued the questions today through text and actually asked me to take the video camera the next time me and the OM have sex. I am a little flipped out about this. I'm ok with him getting turned on by it, but it's still just so strange for me. I am so not that way and was devastated and disgusted when I snooped through his phone and discovered he had taken majorly X rated pics of him and the OW. I wanted to kill them both. That's what started the interest in the other guy, he was at my friends house when I was there telling her what happened.


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## Longtime Husband (Dec 14, 2009)

cantletgo said:


> Ok, so my H and I technically separated, under the same roof for the time being. He cheated on me but the details of that don't pertain to this. I met a guy and quite frankly, had my revenge. My H knows I met this guy and that we've been talking. He asked me yesterday if I'd slept with him, so I told him the truth. Now comes the strange part. He got majorly turned on asking me questions, so much so that he practically attacked me and we ended up having mind blowing sex.
> 
> I have always known that he viewed things differently when it came to sex, but this is just so strange. Anyone else out there get turned on by hearing about their partner having sex with someone else?:scratchhead:


I've heard there is actually a biological reason for this. Men are wired to "compete" at a biological level in order to spread their DNA. If a man suspects or knows (even on a sub-conscious level) that his woman has been having sex with another man, his body will begin producing more sperm & testosterone as a way of making him a.) want to have sex with her immediately and b.) make his ejaculations more potent. All this is to get him to be the one to impregnate the woman before the other man's sperm has a chance to.

It's why most of us are turned on by images of our woman with another man, even if we say we're not.


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## Susan2010 (Apr 19, 2010)

Yeah, what LH said. What he has is every man's (okay maybe not EVERY man) fantasy. No doubt you've heard about men asking the girlfriend/wife to have sex with someone else. Well, your husband got what he wanted without even having to ask. There's nothing strange about it at all. You're not that way, but your husband is and most men are. So it's strange to you but can't really be considered strange because it's too common to be strange, which makes it normal.

Don't allow him to pressure you into doing anything you don't feel comfortable doing. If you continue to tell him about your encounters with the OM, that's up to you. But if you are uncomfortable taking pictures or simply don't want to take pics, then don't. You can't compromise your own virtue, standards, sense of decency, and what you consider normal behavior. Lots of men ask their wives to sleep with other men or to have threesomes and stuff like that. Most wives say no. Maintain boundaries in your life just like they do.


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## cantletgo (Mar 22, 2010)

we have talked more about it today and i'm actually getting ok with it all. i told him that if we were to fix our marriage and get our friendship back together, i am willing to explore with him, but he has to earn back my trust first, and i have to know that is heart is 100% with me again.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

You're going down a road that is not good.

Absolutely do not let yourself be filmed with another man while you are married. At the very least this is a practical consideration. 

Your H could use that as ammunition if things go sour between you.

Personally, I am revolted by the idea of my wife having sex with someone else. 

Keep the boundaries of your marriage safe.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Yeah, not my fantasy and I would argue it's the opposite with regards to biology.

With sex and biology, you have to always think about the purpose of it - reproduction.

I don't want to parent another man's child. Yeah, sure. . .as a guy I wouldn't mind dropping my seed in another man's wife and letting that guy raise my child. . .but not vice-versa.

As a male I only have so much in the way of resources and I wanted it devoted to my own offspring, not someone elses.

So. . .no. . .it's not a turn-on for me to imagine my woman having sex with another man. Not at all.

Maybe some men get off on being Beta-Male though. ..who knows.


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## MMA_FIGHTER (Feb 2, 2009)

yeah i agree, ive been married for 10 years and if i heard or especially ever saw some dude nailing my wife...someone is dying and it aint gonna be me.


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