# losing my mind



## keith999 (Feb 21, 2013)

I was married for 12 years to a very controlling woman. I moved to Australia to be with her from the UK. We had a son together. I did most of the raising of my son whilst my wife was a high flying career woman. We had a lot of arguments but I stayed for my sons sake. He had his own set of problems so I also was left to deal with that on my own with no support. His school thought he had autism so I was back and forth from doctors with no real answers. This caused massive problems as my wife refused to listen to the school and refused to send him to a doctor. I ended up ignoring her and trying to do right by my son, having to spend lots of money trying to figure out what the problem was.

I started to get horrible anxity and felt really down but I carried on for my sons sake. My wife and my son were pretty horrible to me.

Anyway after about 4 years of arguing I gave my wife a ultimatium to stop nit picking and controlling me and all that did was make her angry. I didnt really want to leave her, it was more a idle threat for her to change but instead She started getting divroce papers ready. After 4 months of what I thought was a hopless battle I just gave up and left.

When I say controlling, I mean she controlled all the money, questioned everything I did, accused me of having affairs, and erupted in anger if I questioned anything she said.

I went back to the UK as I had no family and no support. I struggled for a long time, my ex divorced me then after a few months wanted contact. I did that for my sons sake but then my ex wanted me to come home. I thought that was a dumb idea and tried to move on but I couldnt.

The situation is now 18 months later I want to go home and start over. My wife was pretty mean to me and so was my son but they were my life. My problem is I have terrible anxity. I cant tell my parents or resign from my job. Im to scared to a doctor. Im like a helpless child which is weird as I was such a strong person. My ex wife bought me a ticket in april I couldnt go, Then in may I bought a ticket and got to the airport and couldnt go.

I feel like I am losing my mind. I want to go home but I cant. I did leave her once before about 7 years ago and she got me to come back and it was the same old crap again. Im not a terrible parent. I did everything for my son and he ended up being like her. She had a daughter from a previous marriege that doesnt bother with her, hasnt done since she was about 10. When I was with my ex I always worried my son would end up like the daughter, not a very nice person at all. I fought tooth and nail to stay but in the end it was all to much.

I just really dont know what to do and the anxity is ruining my life. Im pretty sure my ex was BPD. She was always very nice to me when we weren't together like on the phone but at home I seemed to be a target for her moods.

One of the things she does is book and plan trips and pay for me than demand I come back. I dont know where to turn at the moment. Shes demanding every day I come home by the weekend and she wont take no for a answer.

Dumb thing is I want to go but I cant.


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## accept1 (Sep 23, 2013)

You will just have to tell your parents. You cant get through this on your own. You need outside help


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Until you allow someone to help you, you'll be stuck in your limbo state. Why won't you go see a therapist?

Although why you want to go back to your ex, I can't figure out...

C


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## keith999 (Feb 21, 2013)

I guess its the pain of not seeing my son that is the root cause for me returning to her. It was very traumatic leaving him and his reaction to me. He just shrugged his shoulders without a care in the world. Like I said he ended up with a lot of her behaviour traits which was a real killer. I was the one who pretty much raised him, toilet trained him, stayed home when he was sick, fought tooth and nail with his school over his issues.

I hated my ex when I lived with her, hated the way she treated me, honestly wanted to leave for years but never could as I didnt want to leave my son.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

keith999 said:


> I'm too scared to go to a doctor.


Here is the mistake in all this. Go get professional help. Ask your mom (if she's a nurturing mom) to go with you.


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