# Five weeks of separation, do I still have some hope?



## francisvi (Jul 14, 2012)

My husband asked for a divorce and left the house five weeks ago. I was a wreck for the first four weeks, crying, begging, etc. I asked him out to movies and lunch together a couple times during the third week, and he didn't even let me touch or hold his arm. He got mad every time I started talking about our relationship matter, accusing me of trying to make him feel guilty. He said that he was now happier and felt that getting divorce was the right decision. He also said he still loved me but wasn't sure if he ever been in love with me. When I asked if he missed me, he said he didn't at all, but might gonna miss me someday. 

He has been staying at his mom's house, sleeping on her couch. He closed our bank account and opened a new one, so I have to ask him every time I need some money, and he still pays for the mortgage and everything else. He also still comes up when I needed some help around the house, like fixing the roof or garage door. I'm a senior in college, so my schedule is really crazy, and have been having a hard time getting a whatever job. But I'm graduating in less than a year, so when he asked me to start planning to meet up with a mediator, I asked him to wait until I graduate, but he never gives me a straight answer of yes or no. He instead just complained that it was gonna be too long and he didn't want to stay at his mom for that long. He asked me to live in a dorm, but I refused since it costs too much. I told him that I never told him to move out, that he could come back and take the other room, but he said he wouldn't feel comfortable living with me. When he left, he took only some stuffs like his collections and clothes because he said he wouldn't have space there for all of his stuffs. 

So, after the last meeting where he brushed off my hand from holding his arm, I decided to never initiated any contact with him, other than for money for me to eat and gas for school. But on the fourth day of no contact, he called me, for the time during this separation, to my surprise. When I asked why, he said, "just checking up on you." And he asked about how our dog was doing and what I was doing. I asked him how was work, and that was it. It was a really short conversation.

I had been getting better, getting myself busy with summer school, working out, hanging out with more friends, until he called me. Am I reading on it too much? Somehow I suddenly feel a glimmer of hope again. He had said he wanted to be friends like his divorced parents. But I was like, their situation was different, they had kids already, they were obligated to keep in touch, but us? We have no kids, and why would he think I would want to be friends with somebody who hurt me so much? We have been together for six years, married for almost two years. I feel so hurt that he didn't want to consider going to counseling. I feel like a last night's trash that after all these years, he could just throw me away without even trying. 

I really want to ask him if he has a second thought about this whole divorce thing, but I wouldn't dare, because he would say hurtful things to me, as he has been every time I brought up similar subjects, and I don't want to hear anymore. 

Would love to hear any thoughts or opinion..and hopefully from some guys' perspectives also.. Thank you!


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