# No sex in over a month... :(



## _Josephine_ (Sep 7, 2013)

Both in our very early 30s, physically healthy. I keep making comments, give hints, show interest and yet the most I get is a boob squeeze. (Our sex life before was ok, though not exciting and awesome). We cuddle every day and often I think now we will have sex also but it usually turns into him just sleeping or playing with his phone. We have had and have a lot of stress (mostly because of a serious health issue in the family, also because of money and each of us being rather unhappy with where we are at the moment). We don't argue every day but when we do we do it intensely. Nevertheless I think not having sex just makes the whole situation worse and I don't understand him to be honest. I don't just want to be the initiator always, while he does nothing to please me actually. He is selfish, in all areas of life and yet he has his good moments and can be an awesome man and that is why I love him. But still I feel not appreciated and not valued as a wife and woman. I don't feel sexy, wanted or worthy even anymore. It's like the world around me is crashing on me and then he comes and asks why I must be whining always.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Have you talked to him?

Are you sure he's playing on his phone and not texting other women?

You love him because of his rare good moments? Maybe I misunderstood.

I know it sucks. Been through that. But my situation was because my husband was going to leave me and was chatting up people and so he'd ignore me in the sex department.


----------



## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

_Josephine_ said:


> Both in our very early 30s, physically healthy. I keep making comments, give hints, show interest and yet the most I get is a boob squeeze. (Our sex life before was ok, though not exciting and awesome). We cuddle every day and often I think now we will have sex also but it usually turns into him just sleeping or playing with his phone. We have had and have a lot of stress (mostly because of a serious health issue in the family, also because of money and each of us being rather unhappy with where we are at the moment). We don't argue every day but when we do we do it intensely. Nevertheless I think not having sex just makes the whole situation worse and I don't understand him to be honest. I don't just want to be the initiator always, while he does nothing to please me actually. He is selfish, in all areas of life and yet he has his good moments and can be an awesome man and that is why I love him. But still I feel not appreciated and not valued as a wife and woman. I don't feel sexy, wanted or worthy even anymore. It's like the world around me is crashing on me and then he comes and asks why I must be whining always.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



He might be a LD guy and that is torture for you, a HD lady.

Could be financial stress and family issues are really getting him down, killing his sex drive.

He doesn't initiate and you do.

When you do have sex, its more about him and not pleasing you.


You need to have the talk with him. Don't get upset and whinny, like he would say. Just be calm, firm and say, 

- I am a woman, I need that closeness, sex often and I want you to be a man, take the initiative and take me often and I want you to please me, oral, toys, etc.


I learned from TAM,

- to always take the initiative, be the leader, help and do things without being asked, always stand my ground and be strong and take none of her crap, alpha male, not a mr nice guy but not a total jerk either, she is my first mate and I am the captain running our ship together, and lots of surprises and hugs, cuddling, and trying to listen without solving all her issues. My wifee loves this!!! I wasn't like this when we first got married.....

I don't even use a cell......weird, eh? But I did get us a very high end tv system and her an ipod with clock radio charger as a surprise.

Money comes and goes, as do jobs and careers. But you can't buy love and a good man or woman. If he is a good man, you guys will make it work.

When my wifee and I first got married, we were making basically minimum wage each and renting a tiny apartment. We fought over stupid things because we had no space from each other and money was tight. But we stuck it out, saved, and bought a nice townhouse, got a kitty and now, today, together, we are making a lot of money and 100% debt free in 4 years, no mortgage and semi retired, by early 40's. Extreme's, in the beginning to present day.

One other thought and I hope this isn't the case. Do you think he is seeing someone else? Always on his cell and no sex?


----------

