# excuse me



## lobokies (Sep 7, 2010)

Greeting everyone

i would like to share some of my experience on this forum.

i was a manager in a consulting company and had a well career and also performed outstandingly as MLM agent at the age of 29(it is still going until now) 
then married the wife. she was at same-age with me. 

i was married on 2004 with my ex-wife and our marriage went very well for almost 3 years. We had a great relationship as hubby and wifey and had a son(which is my only love now) born on our wedding year. we never had sex problem and 
we loved each other(honestly i hate to mention this). before got married, we made a commitment not to cheat each other as i experienced a nearly-broken-home family because of my parent, but they never divorce.
the consequence of this, will be separation. 
something wrong then came to ruin it as i found that i was cheated.

the wife admitted that she had broken our marriage through having an affair with a guy, 8 years 
younger than her. the relationship started when she accidentally met this guy on a painting exhibition 
on the other town of our home. she told me that it had been going for almost 4 months. it was happening 3 years after our wedding.
the man came from the hometown of my ex-w. this make her pleased to know him but not to have the feelings(she told me that).

on the year she cheated, i was very busy caused by my new position. i kept coming home at 10pm but not every night and had a half-day travel out town sometime.
although our sex frequencies decreased(not significantly) i try to enjoyed this condition and almost on every occasion when i was with her i told her that i felt so sorry about my
work schedule which stole our time to get together. she said not to worry bout this, she fully understood on this and she never complaint about our relationship. when i was out of town,
we kept calling each other even when i was too busy, never forgot to give her some phonekisses, and she did the same to me. and i kept missing my beloved son when far from him.

my suspicion was started when i found that she had so many new dresses and she never showed me as usual when having new stuff. i did not ask anything about this.

one day, my uncle went to my office to have a serious conversation with me. he said that, he accidentally saw my wife had little mouthkissing with a man on a restaurant.
first i could not keep his word and told him maybe he saw the other person who has similar looks to my ex-w. 
i became aware on the situation. this must be detected. 2 days later, i told her that i will be out for several days to singapore next week because of a duty. and she told me on the night before
i leave, she would have a great sex with me. and we did that and she reached couple times of orgasm. actually i will not go to s'pore as i lied to her in order to investigate this.

a week later, i went to my office earlier at that morning to change car and drove back home before she went working. i followed her until the office break and she went home for half-day.
nothing strange happened so far as i parked about 50 m from my home. at 2 pm, i saw her went out from home after kissing my son with the maid.
it stopped at the man house and i took pictures of them together and sneaked into the window. and true, that she cheated me
i sworn that i will kill both of them in near time. after 3 days stayed at hotel, i went home at a night while she already slept with my son.
as i closed the door, she was surprised for my return and asked me why so fast. i asked her to seat and started to explain calmly(even i was at great mad inside that time).
i showed her the pictures and told her "great". she cried and admit herself and i confronted her while she begging me for a chance. i asked him very calmly of which one to choose, him or me.
she said that she accidentally met the guy and the relationship going because their hobbies of painting art. and she never asked for going too far but the guy kept seducing her but i didn't believe this.
ex-w told me that she was not in love with him, it was a big mistake to let the relationship develop too far.
although she told me that, but my hate on her couldn't disappear. i told her that i would forgive but i needed a divorce. next day i planned to kill the man and her even i listened she spoke to him on the phone that their relationship must
be ended when i woke up in the morning. a week later, i went to the man house and was very surprised that there was a funeral ministry held. he died on a car accident, well he deserved to get this 

ex-w refused to be divorced but i said to her i would be tortured if no divorce and then she finally agreed.

she won the custody of my son but we always going together when my son asked us to accompany him but i never gave love touch to her even my son wanted me to kiss her. we were a good partner in front of my son.
she kept telling me on every occassion we spend our time with my son that she wanted to rebuilt our marriage and she said that she loved me so much. but i never gave any good respond on this and i told her that that is impossible because i hate 
a cheater. she never gave up to do this until i said to her that actually the only way to make me satisfied is that to kill her and she cried to me. since then, she never persuaded me again but she sometiimes crying 
when seeing me play with my son. all of our friends, family told me that i should forgive her and rebuilt the family. i told them i already forgave her on this but she has to take the consequencies of our pre-marry commitment. 

i let her live because of my son even i really want to kill her but now i can throw my will to kill her. i never care about her life, i only care about my son. i promise myself not to mmarry again, just focus on my son.


my advise for those hubbies who have the cheated experience. be strong and firm on making decision. what you decide determine what will you gain iin the future.


that's all my story and very sorry because too long.

cheers


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## yogachick (Aug 9, 2010)

Wow, I'm sorry all of this happened.

I would suggest you see a therapist to get over your hatred towards her. If you kill her your son will have no Mother, and then you would most likely spend your life in prison, so no father as well.


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## moeman (Aug 12, 2010)

You're at the right forum. We all know it hurts a lot. Read through the listings. If every time something like this happened people attempted to hurt the other party, then you will see how chaotic it would have been. Let it go. Why are you carrying a fifty pounds weight on your shoulder all the time. Move forward. Look at yourself (and her specially your son) with kind eyes.

Again, sorry you had to go through this.

M.


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## lobokies (Sep 7, 2010)

here is the update of my situation.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/genera...feeling-reconcilliation-signs.html#post190913


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## BlueEyedBeauty (Sep 27, 2010)

Wow, if you were to kill her- you one would find yourself in prison and another thing you would be leaving your son without a mother. It does hurt to be cheated on- but to be talking the way you are doing is not right...


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