# Guys and snoring



## Endofthelie (Mar 22, 2016)

So we have been married for almost 10 years now. My wife has told me that I snore and it bothers her. So not wanting to keep her awake at night I decided to sleep in the living room on the couch. This has been going on for months. Then I decided today to start sleeping in our sons old room with a twin bed. (Couldn't take the couch anymore as my back is killing me) she got on me about moving out of our room saying she never asked me to stop sleeping in our bed. (Even though a week ago I asked if it would be okay if I slept in our bed and her reply was are you going to snore?) I am at a loss, don't know if I should just sleep in my "new" bed or sleep in our bed and face the inevitable fight that I keep her up at night.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Get back in the bed with her. TONIGHT.

Invest in a white noise machine . It works wonders i have ours on right now .

Did i forget to say get back in the bed right now ?


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

How loud is it?

Can she wear earplugs?

It's a problem, but couples should be able to find a way.


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## Annie123 (Apr 27, 2015)

Maybe go to a sleep study, you could have sleep apnea.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

My poor wife has to wear ear plugs at night. I tried the CPAP, but I would rip it off in the middle of the night and not even realize until the next morning. Luckily our kids are gone now, so she has 2 other beds to choose from. I will give her credit though, she goes to bed with me every night. She just probably wont be there in the morning.

God I love that woman.


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## Endofthelie (Mar 22, 2016)

I guess it's loud, she hates wearing earplugs and most of the time she moves out to the couch if I am in bed with her.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Endofthelie said:


> So we have been married for almost 10 years now. My wife has told me that I snore and it bothers her. So not wanting to keep her awake at night I decided to sleep in the living room on the couch. This has been going on for months. Then I decided today to start sleeping in our sons old room with a twin bed. (Couldn't take the couch anymore as my back is killing me) she got on me about moving out of our room saying she never asked me to stop sleeping in our bed. (Even though a week ago I asked if it would be okay if I slept in our bed and her reply was are you going to snore?) I am at a loss, don't know if I should just sleep in my "new" bed or sleep in our bed and face the inevitable fight that I keep her up at night.


My snoring is bad. So bad it keeps the neighbours awake.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

I'm not a doctor, but I have sleep apnia and I know a little about it. 

If you feel tired after the normal length of time sleeping. If you sometimes even feel like you have a hangover, but you didn't take a sip of alcohol. If you find yourself waking in the night for no apparent reason but taking a gasp of air when you do, you might be a *******, uh no , have sleep apnia. 

A sleep study is when you go to the hospital or other facility and they hook your head up to electrodes through this cap like thing they put on your head. No needles, no pain, just some electrolytic gooey cream like substance. Eew. It's not bad. 

You try to sleep with this on and they monitor you to see if you are actually getting any deep sleep. Even if you don't sleep much, it is possible for them to get some readings. Best if you are pretty tired when you go. The gooey stuff washes out, though they don't let you shower there, darnit. 

Sleep apnia can cause strokes and heart problems. It's important enough to get checked if you are snoring loudly. The worst that will happen is you might have to wear a mask that blows air in your face. You get used to it and the sleep you get makes it worth it. You finally feel like you're rested in the morning.

Talk to your doctor about this snoring, soon. You will feel better, your wife will get sleep and an added benefit is wearing that mask and the hose attached to it while chasing her around naked. Yeah, man. :laugh: Done it myself. She ran and laughed and screeched. Oh well, those days are gone.


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## anonmd (Oct 23, 2014)

Try breathe right strips. I've been using the clear ones for a while and they help a lot.


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## wolfgang (Nov 29, 2015)

I snore so loud that my wife would move to the couch and she said it sill kept her awake. She also said that I would stop breathing in my sleep which scared the hell out of her. I talked with my doctor about it and he recommended that I do a sleep apnea test. I had to take the test twice but they determined that I stopped breathing 28 times an hour. So they put me on a CPAP machine. I fought it A LOT for a while but was determined to keep my wife sleeping in our bed. It took a while to get used to but now that I have, I cant sleep without it. I don't snore anymore or at least not enough to keep her awake. I also feel better in the mornings and I don't wake up congested. I still hate to sleep with the stupid thing and hate having to pack it with me everywhere I go but I like to have my wife sleeping with me...


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Here is my story, it may well be quite irrelevant.

My first husband has restless leg syndrome and our first night in the same bed as a live in couple was a complete PITA for me (and him I guess lol). When I got up the next morning I made a decision to just get over it and sleep through his all night jogging. It was never a problem again until our marriage was becoming unhappy and then it really started to piss me off.

My current partner snores and it never bothers me unless we are having relationship issues. When life is great with us I actually like to listen to him drift of to sleep and find his snoring quite comforting. I then go to sleep and wake up when the alarm goes off with.
If we are having one of our troubled times his snoring really aggravates me.

Short version, is she pissed off with you, is your marriage good or not so good?


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## Endofthelie (Mar 22, 2016)

Well our marriage has not been the best for the last few years. Can't put a finger on exactly what the problem is or when it started but no to answer that question. Most of the time it feels like a marrige of convenience not of love.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

Endofthelie said:


> Well our marriage has not been the best for the last few years. Can't put a finger on exactly what the problem is or when it started but no to answer that question. Most of the time it feels like a marrige of convenience not of love.


I would see a doctor about the snoring.

I would see a counselor about the marriage.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Endofthelie said:


> Well our marriage has not been the best for the last few years. Can't put a finger on exactly what the problem is or when it started but no to answer that question. Most of the time it feels like a marrige of convenience not of love.


well it is a long stretch but I wonder if the snoring really is the issue or her aggravation by it the result of her overall unhappiness in the relationship. No answers for you but just adding in some real life personal experience to consider as part of a bigger picture.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Get tested for sleep apnea ASAP.


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## Endofthelie (Mar 22, 2016)

Holland said:


> Endofthelie said:
> 
> 
> > Well our marriage has not been the best for the last few years. Can't put a finger on exactly what the problem is or when it started but no to answer that question. Most of the time it feels like a marrige of convenience not of love.
> ...


I appreciate the info. I never thought that the snoring problem was more of a issue with our relationship issues.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

Most people who go to sleep specialists turn out to have some degree of apnea and are advised to get a CPAP.

However, that treatment has a very low compliance rate because it is so annoying to use.

Here are a couple of things to try:

1. A wedge pillow that lifts up your upper body.
2. Lose some weight. Even a few pounds can make a big difference in snoring.


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

My wife and I have had separate bedrooms for the last 30 years. I snored so loudly that even our houseguests chose to stay at a motel rather than sleep over our house. I traveled a third of each year so my wife and I were very used to sleeping alone. I have business on the other side of the world so I had phone calls at all hours of the night. Plus I got up at 5am and my wife did not. I had to get dressed quietly and tip toe in my own house. Heck with that. I had 3 extra bedrooms so I took one and loved it.

I do not know if you thought of this but my snoring is due to a severe case of sleep apnea. I put off testing for a very long time. The test is simple. You stay in a room that looks like a hotel room with a TV and snacks. Then they stick sensors on your face and head. That took about 40 minutes but I was watching TV and the time went back quickly. Then you sleep and they video and monitor you. The reason I finally went in for a test is that my cousin died in her sleep. No indication of cause of death so they did an autopsy and pronounced that she died of sleep apnea. I got tested after that and found that I stopped breathing over 400 times in a 6 hour period. I stopped breathing and if not for the automatic reflex kicking in right before I died, I would be dead. It puts a huge strain on your heart since you are depriving your body of oxygen which forces your heart to pump faster and harder to get your blood which carries oxygen, to your body. I saw the video and watched myself gasping for breathing hundreds of times. It also resulted in me not getting a good night's sleep so I was tired all the time and a whole bunch of other effects. 

Now I used a CPAP machine every night. It is nothing more than a device that sends regular air through a tube to a mask over your nose. It keeps your nasal passage from collapsing as your muscles relax when you fall asleep. It took a few months to get used to it but now I cannot imagine sleeping without it. No more snoring but my wife still will not sleep with me because the machine makes noise. Not a lot of noise but it is noticeable. I got used to it in a few days because it sounds like white noise. See a doctor. Snoring is the number one symptom of sleep apnea. It runs in my family. All of my uncles on my dad's side of the family had heart attacks in their early sixties. I am 65 and have a strong heart since I took care of my my uncles never even knew existed.


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## jdawg2015 (Feb 12, 2015)

Are you overweight? That is the source of a lot of snoring.

Or, do you have acid reflux? Another common source of snoring.

Go to your doctor. A simple scope through your nose at an ENT doc can go a long way. 

There some simple surgery things that can be done to fix snoring depending on what is the cause.

You'll feel and sleep better if not snoring. You can't get proper sleep if snoring all night.


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## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

I am very compliant with my cpap treatment, and it eliminates the snoring and the apnea events quite well. Some people do find cpap frustrating. Technological improvements mask/nasal pillow design, heated tubing, adaptive/smart machines) have made it better over the years.



And yes, when a spouse is feeling unhappy with their partner or themselves, some tend to find things that used to not matter becoming proxies for deeper issues. Something to talk about directly, imho.


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## sixty-eight (Oct 2, 2015)

anonmd said:


> Try breathe right strips. I've been using the clear ones for a while and they help a lot.


my younger brother and my dad both have used these for a long time with good results. 

I have also noticed that if either of them have anything with alcohol content to drink, the problem is so much worse. You could ask her if some nights it's worse than others and discuss changes in routine.

honestly. she's sending you a mixed signal. Are you coming to bed? and then discouraging you from coming to bed. It's not like you can change the snoring. I can only deduce that she's either wanting to spend time with you awake, or wanting you to find a solution to the snoring so you can sleep together. If it's the first, then you don't need to find a solution to the snoring.


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## citygirl4344 (Mar 4, 2016)

My husband snores...loudly. It is irritating but we still sleep in the same bed. 
You sort of get used to it. I've learned that if you fall asleep before the snorer then you are ok
Has she tried earplugs?
I think she's using the snoring an excuse.
Oh and might be beneficial to take others advice and get tested for sleep apnea.



Sent from my iPhone


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## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

Snoring can indeed be changed, if you have the resources to acquire CPAP treatment.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

My wife was snoring this morning. I tried all the tricks. Touch her leg, talk quietly, roll over and she rolls onto her side (that one worked). Usually I'm the snorer but with either of us it's only when we have head congestion. 

For some time I have contemplated moving out of the room. I'm still waiting for a kid yo move out. Should happen this year. Mrs Nail is not excited about the idea, but for several years we only slept together on weekends due to work schedules. I'm thinking of making it a you are welcome in my bed any time you want to join me. But if I'm annoying you, I want to know you have a comfortable bed to sleep in. Of course the same would be true for me. Will your son's room accommodate a larger bed? Has any one else done this successfully.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

@Mr. Nail, my maternal grandparents did that for many years. They were married more than 55 years. It didn't start until after the children were gone, like you suggest. I think it only works for some. It would destroy any love, if other things aren't done to keep the two close, I'd think.


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## Happilymarried25 (Mar 19, 2014)

anonmd said:


> Try breathe right strips. I've been using the clear ones for a while and they help a lot.


Using these and sleeping on his side helps my husband snoring.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Go see a sleep specialist, pronto! They can do a sleep study on you and can prescribe many useful remedies!

Get back in bed with your W! You belong there!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## happy2gether (Dec 6, 2015)

my wife says I snore rather loudly too, and honestly more than once I have woken myself up from it. BUT anytime we are not in the same bed overnight neither one of sleeps well. Heck when we have a hotel room we always get a king size bed and still end up back to back on one side. after 22 years of sleeping together we just can't be comfortable without the other right there, noises and all. 

if your snoring bothers her so much then try the strips or a sleep study(they almost assuredly will tell you to use a CPAP as I have never heard of them NOT finding something) or just invest in ear plugs for her. No matter what, get back in the same bed as much as possible!


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## antechomai (Oct 4, 2013)

I snored quite a bit the the last few years. It would start just as I fell asleep and wake me, or my wife would to push me on my side.
Last year the cat got sick and we put her down.
Slowly after a few months of weekly house cleaning, I don't snore.
I never had a reaction to the cat that would make me think I was allergic. 
It makes me wonder what environmental causes could be in play.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Has anyone had problems with long term use of nightly ear plugs? I have read they can cause ear infections (the ear is supposed to "breathe" and clean itself at night) and that long term use can make it so that eventually you are unable to sleep without them because you are used to no noises at all.


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## BradOSU99 (Mar 30, 2016)

THEME = SLEEP APNEA

I have sleep apnea and sleep with a CPAP. This is not necessarily a great solution for your wife as the noise of the CPAP machine will replace the noise of your snoring. However, the CPAP noise is more rhythmic and bothers some more than others. More importantly, if you do have sleep apnea, you owe it to your whole family to get it fixed before you die at an early age of a heart attack or stroke. (Dramatic effect here, but seriously...get it checked out).

I suggest the others advice of a white noise machine. We keep a bluetooth speaker in our bedroom and my wife turns on some sleep dream app on her phone and we sleep with that each night. It drowns out the noise of my CPAP, we both got used to the noise very quickly, and we have been sleeping well together ever since.

Good luck. You are getting a lot of good advice in this thread. Make sure you take it.


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## citygirl4344 (Mar 4, 2016)

Livvie said:


> Has anyone had problems with long term use of nightly ear plugs? I have read they can cause ear infections (the ear is supposed to "breathe" and clean itself at night) and that long term use can make it so that eventually you are unable to sleep without them because you are used to no noises at all.




You know what? Someone at my work had been using ear plugs for years. Just last week she had a feeling of plugged ear one morning. All the use of the plugs had Pushed a huge amount of ear wax to create almost a dam. Had to have it drained and was very painful. I guess the wax buildup back there was crazy. 

So I had advocated ear plugs but now I take it back because the story just grosses me out.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

My large bulldog sleeps on the bed and he snores. He is a guy, well, he used to be a guy.


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## citygirl4344 (Mar 4, 2016)

blueinbr said:


> My large bulldog sleeps on the bed and he snores. He is a guy, well, he used to be a guy.




Lol what???


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

CPAP machines are very quiet these days. My mom has one and the last time I slept in the same room as her (at a hotel), it was not bothersome at all. Certainly less bothersome than snoring. 

I'm chiming in with the sleep study recommendation.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

blueinbr said:


> My large bulldog sleeps on the bed and he snores. He is a guy, well, he used to be a guy.


You and he? have my condolences. (looks like it hurt you almost as much)


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

blueinbr said:


> My large bulldog sleeps on the bed and he snores. He is a guy, well, he used to be a guy.


Sounds like your bulldog and I have a lot in common.


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