# Frustrated and depressed



## Tracman (Oct 17, 2012)

I have been reading this site for over 2 years now. The amount of time my wife and I have been married. We both waited until marriage for sex and I now feel like I regret that (although I am not sure it would have stopped me from marrying her). Our sex life is completely un-satisfying. I will admit that it has gotten better, we went from me getting duty sex once a week, to now having sex she is actually into twice a week. But, it is still not satisfying sex. It is always her on top with the covers on, and from time to time she will "let" me finger her before. 

I feel like the best sexual years of my life are being wasted because she will not experiment with the simplest things. I admit I want all the things other guys want, from different positions to oral sex. But she will not even let me go down on her. I have talked her into letting me go down a couple of times and I loved it. Both the smell and the taste, and she enjoyed it as well. She never directly said she did, but based on her reaction during and her response after I know she did. But, when asked, she just said "I don't know, it is just gross". 

I have read lots of posts from people with the same or similar issues but they are all couples who have been married for 20 or so years. This has left me feeling depressed, that this is the sex life I am destined to have with her and that 20 years from now we will be just like all of the sexless marriages I read about. I can see myself starting to resent her and know I probably will if this continues for years to come.

To make things worse, our married friends are all getting pregnant and she has started talking about baby names. I know a child will make our sex life even worse. Knowing her, we will end up with a sexless marriage. If she brings up wanting a baby, I plan on telling her, not until we work out or sex life. 

I try to push her to do new things and I bring sex up as a topic to keep it on her mind. but at the same time I try not to push too hard. The herder I push the less sex we have that she seems to enjoy. So I try my best to keep it from being a stressful act. 

I love this woman madly, sex is actually the only thing we do not match on. I do not want to give up such a good marriage just to try and find better sex. But I am becoming more and more desperate to help her open up sexually or have a sexual awakening of her own. I know we are both missing out on a lot due to her inhibitions. 

I am open to all and any constructive advice. I know this is about both of us, I see everything in our marriage as being about both of us. So feel free to explore my faults as well. I was raised to constantly make myself a better person and challenge my views.


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