# No spice in the bedroom just pain



## 4Agiggle (Feb 16, 2021)

H


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## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

4Agiggle said:


> I've been in a relationship for a few years now and my girlfriend might have physical issues that make having sex difficult so sex is boring and far in between in other words the wow factor has almost gone & when we do have sex things aren't as "spicy" as I'd like them to be, if I'm completely honest I'm bored and I am harboring a little bit of malcontent towards the her because it seems like she's relieved have it over and done with, I know that the physical issues aren't her fault but there ARE STILL other things that she can do, small things she could *still* do in order to change it up a bit, And yet still things don't seem to be getting any better, sometimes when I broach the subject it causes friction within the relationship and she gets upset, so rather than talking about it these days I tend to suffer in silence, I'm at the Point were I can't even be bothered to try cause I know it causes her pain and its always the same stuff like I said "no spice" and its almost as if she wants it over as soon as possible, I do love my girlfriend more than anything in the whole world but this issue is definitely putting strain on the relationship, i understand about the physical issues but I can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that she doesn't seem to want to try and meet me half way with some things I've suggested to her in the past I feel like when we do have sex it's me that puts in the effort. I'm starting to have doubts about myself and I'm wondering if the reason that she doesn't want to have sex is also because of me as well as the other stuff. What can I do to help the situation, causes I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place and I'm will to listen to some advice on the subject


Has she been to a doctor to diagnose the pain?


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Use more periods.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Has she always had this problem? Has she seen a doctor about what is causing it?


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

4Agiggle said:


> What can I do to help the situation?


If the sex is hurting her, no **** she doesn't like it and just wants it over with. Sure she could do other things to make it better for you, but sex probably isn't a great thing for her mentally either. If this condition is real and isn't going anywhere, then you need to decide if you can live with it. 

If she refuses to talk to a doctor, you still have to decide what you can and cannot live with. 

Do you ever try doing things just for her, without going further, that don't cause her any pain?


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

There's nothing good about sex to her if she's in pain, so she doesn't want to deal with it at all. I mean, it's no fun for her and I'm sure she doesn't just want to service you all the time. I do think she needs to see doctors if she doesn't really know what is going on. Could be she just needs a hysterectomy or something. I have actually once had an orgasm that caused me great pain because of some prolapses. It felt like it yanked my insides down real hard and scared me. If it had been a continuing thing that extreme, I'd have had a hysterectomy by now. So she may not even want to get excited if it's painful, and it can be. 

But of course, she should see doctors if she hasn't already and pursue those avenues if she hasn't already. If she doesn't want to, could be something mental going on. Every woman needs to see a gyn every year anyway for pap smears and examination and mammograms. Is she doing that or no? 

If she won't do it, it's something else going on, fear of doctors, fear of what they'll find, etc. 

If she has done it and this is the way she feels she must deal with it, yes, you have a decision to make. If you're just going to be friends with her, not much point in pretending this is your "girlfriend." You should date others if she can't or won't get medical help.


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