# I need a new start...



## nickih (Jan 26, 2014)

I met my husband at 19. The usual - fell in love (or a version of what I thought it was-first BF) - got married at 21. Have been married 12 years - but it was over when i was expecting with our first child-I found he was in chatrooms, emailing his picture to girls, very flirtacious people told me. What i could not understand was - he persisted for marriage and a chid.
After marriage -He never wanted to come near me, preferred sleeping separately. Always on his phone.
It has never stopped all his behaviour.
I consistently say we need to separate and live apart. He does not go. 
We had another child - i dont want to upset my childrens life. But his behaviour and zero repect for me and our family unit makes it unbearable.

He tells me i am ugly and not a woman pretty much since marriage. I always receive attention and flattering comments from others. I know what i look like - and know it is not what he makes out to be. He is very degrading to me.
He spends no time with me and kids - I can not recall a time in recent years we all went out.

Does anyone have any advice - i do not really have anyone to openly speak with.
The story is much longer - i could go on and on. This is the first time i am reaching out for advice - as I need to make changes for myself and my two children.

Thank you.


----------



## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

Sounds like things are very difficult for you. Do you have any family members that can help support you? Have you talked to him about counseling? Mental abuse is one of the worst things to have to deal with. 

The first thing you need to know is he is saying these things because something is wrong with him. I would tell him he needs to stop talking to you like that. If you can not find a way to reach him then maybe I would bring up that a separation might be in order. 

I am very sorry you are going through this. 

Clay


----------



## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Dump him

_Posted via *Topify* using iPhone/iPad_


----------



## Alpha (Feb 18, 2013)

Why don't you give us the long story, so that we can confirm what we already know,? That he is a real loser.

Get rid of him.


----------



## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Good lord woman! Why the hell would you want to stay with a man who treats you like dirt?

You say you don't want to break up your children's lives? Is your husband the picture of a man you want your children to think is normal? Do you want your daughter to think it's okay if her husband calls her names and sleeps around town? Do you want your son to grow up thinking women are door mats?

Get a voice activated recorder and record his name calling. Take that recorder to you a lawyer and your family. Get the support you will need and get OUT!


----------



## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

He tells you, his wife, that you are ugly? He's not a man he's an abusive a-hole. Start seeing a counselor as soon as you can. He sounds like a cake eater: a man that wants the wife and family at home, but is out doing what he wants on the side.


----------



## seriously3 (Jan 16, 2014)

That is a terrible situation to be in, I feel so bad for you! You are a strong woman to have lasted this long with him. I don't think that's a good marriage for your children to watch. Get out and be happy again! you do not deserve to be talked to like that


----------



## KeepLookingUp (Feb 6, 2014)

Sounds like a real stand up guy! Yeah right. His behaviour is no way to treat another human being, especially his wife and mother of his children. For your sake, and to prevent him from mentally abusing your kids, you need to get out. No one deserves this type of treatment. Time to move on and move out.


----------



## lfortender (Sep 18, 2012)

I guess is a reasonable idea you face him and wait for him to change. Tell him everything he does that hurt you. If he wont change, maybe is better get a divorce. Have you ever think about visiting a christian church?


----------

