# Planet's align



## Lonelygent1977 (Feb 20, 2018)

Hey guys and gals
When it comes to sex does your other half need the planet's to be in perfect alignment before he or she will sleep with you?
My wife unless she's not tired or exhausted or kids awake or got housework to do will not sleep with me.
She was cruel yesterday it's been snowing here and our water trough was frozen for the horse so we had to carry the water in a heavy water butt, she asked me to carry it, I said ok but for some oral pleasure she said ok, well I nearly bit her hand off as we haven't been intimate in 4 weeks now, so I made her pinky promise lol sad but true.
So we're in bed last night and I said I'd like my bj now lol and you know what she said..."no I didn't say the date or time" bloody **** tease.


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## [email protected] (Mar 1, 2018)

My wife is a ****, a *****, a shameless hussy with me. Three days ago - six times. Two days ago - four times. Yesterday - three. Today just once so far - we had a really wonderful hike to a waterfall and natural pool and just returned. We have plans to go see a little 22 year old she spotted yesterday. We talked to her at length last night and I ended up saying "no" to the two of them in bed at the same time. Having your wife as a "wing man" is amazing. But this is a tricky deal, and if I don't sense everything is just right then I am not going for it. The wife gets this fixated on something like this and pushes too hard to pull it off when it isn't all that enjoyable. 

It sure is "interesting" no matter what, but I suppose a guy could have sex with a goat and have an orgasm too. So the orgasm isn't the measure of success. I feel pretty good about tonight but if my wife's emotions start getting out of hand, I am going to put the kaybosh on it. Last night we were doing pretty good with the two of them own each side of me, holding hands and cuddling. But this is playing with TNT and the wife wavers from really getting off on it to jealous anger.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

[email protected] said:


> My wife is a ****, a *****, a shameless hussy with me. Three days ago - six times. Two days ago - four times. Yesterday - three. Today just once so far - we had a really wonderful hike to a waterfall and natural pool and just returned. We have plans to go see a little 22 year old she spotted yesterday. We talked to her at length last night and I ended up saying "no" to the two of them in bed at the same time. Having your wife as a "wing man" is amazing. But this is a tricky deal, and if I don't sense everything is just right then I am not going for it. The wife gets this fixated on something like this and pushes too hard to pull it off when it isn't all that enjoyable.
> 
> It sure is "interesting" no matter what, but I suppose a guy could have sex with a goat and have an orgasm too. So the orgasm isn't the measure of success. I feel pretty good about tonight but if my wife's emotions start getting out of hand, I am going to put the kaybosh on it. Last night we were doing pretty good with the two of them own each side of me, holding hands and cuddling. But this is playing with TNT and the wife wavers from really getting off on it to jealous anger.


You are the 59 year old guy who left his sexless marriage right? And cannot believe how fortunate you are to be married to your current wife. Sounds like to me you might have bitten off more than you can chew. Would by any chance you found your new love abroad far from your own shores? The fun may last until she gets the hots for younger flesh of your gender. >


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I've been in this game for over 30 years. At least in my situation:

Simply ignore *all* hints, suggestions, or even promises of future sex. Sex will happen when she feels like it AT THAT TIME. No point complaining, there will always bee some excuse. Don't act appreciative if she offers, just a "that would be nice". It will help reduce your own frustration.







Lonelygent1977 said:


> Hey guys and gals
> When it comes to sex does your other half need the planet's to be in perfect alignment before he or she will sleep with you?
> My wife unless she's not tired or exhausted or kids awake or got housework to do will not sleep with me.
> She was cruel yesterday it's been snowing here and our water trough was frozen for the horse so we had to carry the water in a heavy water butt, she asked me to carry it, I said ok but for some oral pleasure she said ok, well I nearly bit her hand off as we haven't been intimate in 4 weeks now, so I made her pinky promise lol sad but true.
> ...


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

Back when I was married there was a time I can remember after about 7 years of marriage that the sex frequency and variety slowed down dramatically. I talked with my wife and told her that's not something I was willing to give up so we can either get back on track or go our separate ways. She knew I meant it so that fixed the problem up until her midlife crisis/affair years later, which I divorced her over. I'm not married now, so nothing has to align for sex because the women I date are trying to impress me. If a woman wasn't available sexually or the sex wasn't good, I'd show her the door. That's still non-negotiable in my book. 

The reason your wife is doing this is because you are negotiating from a position of weakness. She knows you won't leave, due to insecurity or the kids or financial repercussions, so she has no impetus to change. My advice to you is just file for divorce and find someone else. Or learn to live with it and don't complain about it. Those are really your only reasonable options. How about ask her which of those options she wants? But you have to mean it if you ask her. 

I'm a bit dirty/crass, but if I were you I'd tell her directly "wife, I married you because I needed a warm place to cum in and I thought you'd fill that position. You obviously aren't keeping up with your end of the deal and the rest of your attributes aren't enough for me to want to stay with you. So either get you ass in something sexy and wait for me on the bed now or get out. Your decision." Then if she wants to talk, say "nope, bed or get out are your options." Also, step up your game so that the sex is exciting for her.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Bananapeel said:


> Back when I was married there was a time I can remember after about 7 years of marriage that the sex frequency and variety slowed down dramatically. I talked with my wife and told her that's not something I was willing to give up so we can either get back on track or go our separate ways. She knew I meant it so that fixed the problem up until her midlife crisis/affair years later, which I divorced her over. I'm not married now, so nothing has to align for sex because the women I date are trying to impress me. If a woman wasn't available sexually or the sex wasn't good, I'd show her the door. That's still non-negotiable in my book.
> 
> The reason your wife is doing this is because you are negotiating from a position of weakness. She knows you won't leave, due to insecurity or the kids or financial repercussions, so she has no impetus to change. My advice to you is just file for divorce and find someone else. Or learn to live with it and don't complain about it. Those are really your only reasonable options. How about ask her which of those options she wants? But you have to mean it if you ask her.
> 
> I'm a bit dirty/crass, but if I were you I'd tell her directly *"wife, I married you because I needed a warm place to cum in and I thought you'd fill that position. *You obviously aren't keeping up with your end of the deal and the rest of your attributes aren't enough for me to want to stay with you. So either get you ass in something sexy and wait for me on the bed now or get out. Your decision." Then if she wants to talk, say "nope, bed or get out are your options." Also, step up your game so that the sex is exciting for her.


And we wonder why women accuse us of not seeing them as people rather than sex objects.


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## purplesunsets (Feb 26, 2018)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> And we wonder why women accuse us of not seeing them as people rather than sex objects.


Seriously! His comment made me a bit nauseous. That's so gross. Ugh!


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Of all the self-help sex books I've read, the only one that made any sense in my world is "Come as You Are" by Emily Nagoski.

In it, she takes the standard LD/HD continuum and adds a second dimension. Her analogy is that women have both sexual "accelerators" and "brakes." While it's most common to to pair a weak accelerator and really powerful brakes (what most men seem to end up with) or a great accelerator and no brakes (what every man thinks they want), the opposite is also possible. Even those who are easily revved up can be easily stopped.

I don't know about your wife's accelerator, but she definitely has really good brakes. Literally anything can put her off. It's a tough life. The book offers some advice for working with such a person. It's more likely to be of any use than most books which are commonly suggested, or even any of the standard responses that come around here.


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> And we wonder why women accuse us of not seeing them as people rather than sex objects.


I'm not asexual, so yes, of course I see women as sex objects. Not exclusively sex objects, but that is part of the package deal. I would hope women see me the same way, and in my experience they tell me they do. What's the point of being married if you're not having sex? Why are so many guys afraid of saying that directly or acknowledging that asexual relationships are a deal breaker?


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

purplesunsets said:


> Seriously! His comment made me a bit nauseous. That's so gross. Ugh!


How is that gross? It's direct and honest, and biologically how sex usually works between a man and a woman.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> Of all the self-help sex books I've read, the only one that made any sense in my world is "Come as You Are" by Emily Nagoski.
> 
> In it, she takes the standard LD/HD continuum and adds a second dimension. Her analogy is that women have both sexual "accelerators" and "brakes." While it's most common to to pair a weak accelerator and really powerful brakes (what most men seem to end up with) or a great accelerator and no brakes (what every man thinks they want), the opposite is also possible. Even those who are easily revved up can be easily stopped.
> 
> I don't know about your wife's accelerator, but she definitely has really good brakes. Literally anything can put her off. It's a tough life. The book offers some advice for working with such a person. It's more likely to be of any use than most books which are commonly suggested, or even any of the standard responses that come around here.


I think that a problem with this might be that this wife isn't really just legitimately easily put off of having sex by say, xyz. It's that she doesn't ever really want sex with her husband, doesn't have the courage to tell him so, and issues excuses, one after the other.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Livvie said:


> I think that a problem with this might be that this wife isn't really just legitimately easily put off of having sex by say, xyz. It's that she doesn't ever really want sex with her husband, doesn't have the courage to tell him so, and issues excuses, one after the other.


Of course, that is a distinct possibility. It's often hard to tell and sometimes the only person who knows is the one doing the denying... and even she may not know. Self delusion is not uncommon.


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## Holdingontoit (Mar 7, 2012)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> And we wonder why women accuse us of not seeing them as people rather than sex objects.


Yes and no. It is the old oxygen comment. When you can't get enough air, all you think about is your next breath. If a woman is in a monogamous relationship with a man, and she is not having sex with him on a regular basis, then she can expect him to think about nothing except sex. If she wants him to stop fixating on having sex with her, she should either leave the relationship (so he can fixate on having sex with other women) or provide more sex. To say "we won't be having much sex, but I want you to stop being so fixated on sex" is unrealistic.

Does not excuse him his shortcomings. If he is lousy in bed, he should endeavor to become better. If he isn't strong enough (physically, mentally, however), he should work on that. If he is being ego-protective, he should stop it. If he isn't meeting her emotional needs, he should step up.

She is entitled to refuse to have sex with him. She isn't entitled to demand that he treat the refusal as no big deal. Doesn't mean he should whine and moan and threaten. He should just leave.


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## FrazzledSadHusband (Jul 3, 2014)

https://forgivenwife.com/learned-sex-first-marriage-failed/

https://forgivenwife.com/new-to-this-blog-start-here/understanding-your-husbands-hurt/

Give these links to your wife & tell her that sex it the NUMBER ONE way you feel connected to her.

Then don't BLUFF, but tell her the marriage is in trouble. There is so many media perceptions that men only want women for sex and she has bought into the lie.

I would also suggest BOTH of you reading The 5 Love Languages and taking the quiz at the back. Both of you need to speak the other's love language.

Sad part is some people just don't get, or DON'T want to admit how important intimacy is to a marriage.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I have to disagree. If the point of relationships was finding a warm hole, why not make use of modern technology. There are a variety of sex toys out there that feel as good as the real thing. Or skip the whole relationship part and just hire professionals do do the job. 

Similarly there are a variety of sex toys for women that provide much more range of stimulation than do penises. 


For a lot of people sex is important as *part* of an entire relationship / romance. The physical sensation really isn't the most important part. 








Bananapeel said:


> How is that gross? It's direct and honest, and biologically how sex usually works between a man and a woman.


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## [email protected] (Mar 1, 2018)

Bananapeel said:


> I'm not asexual, so yes, of course I see women as sex objects. Not exclusively sex objects, but that is part of the package deal. I would hope women see me the same way, and in my experience they tell me they do. What's the point of being married if you're not having sex? Why are so many guys afraid of saying that directly or acknowledging that asexual relationships are a deal breaker?


Men have allowed themselves to be emasculated. I have no respect for it. Since the 1960's men in the west have been living a giant **** test: women are spending billions making themselves look like sex objects, then they complain when you acknowledge it. Just ignore the drama and bed them. 

The ones who are failing the **** test think they are virtue signalling. I couldn't care less. And women respond to it just the way I want.


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

@uhtred - I've never used modern technology but I can't imagine it provides anywhere near the same satisfying experience as a woman. 

From a practical point of view everything that a woman provides in a relationship can be had with male friends or hired out. Additionally, all relationships have costs attributed to them, whether that is time/money/attention, so the sex comes at a cost. Most think it's worthwhile...but, if you aren't getting the sex and are still paying the cost of being in a relationship then you are an absolute sucker. While the way I communicated above might seem a bit vulgar, the point is to learn to express your thoughts in a non-ambiguous way and then the women can decide for themselves whether they want to be part of a relationship with you or not. Honesty and having boundaries works!


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

But then why not hire professionals rather than have relationships? 



Bananapeel said:


> I've never used modern technology but I can't imagine it provides anywhere near the same satisfying experience as a woman.
> 
> From a practical point of view everything that a woman provides in a relationship can be had with male friends or hired out. Additionally, all relationships have costs attributed to them, whether that is time/money/attention, so the sex comes at a cost. Most think it's worthwhile...but, if you aren't getting the sex and are still paying the cost of being in a relationship then you are an absolute sucker. While the way I communicated above might seem a bit vulgar, the point is to learn to express your thoughts in a non-ambiguous way and then the women can decide for themselves whether they want to be part of a relationship with you or not. Honesty and having boundaries works!


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Bananapeel said:


> From a practical point of view everything that a woman provides in a relationship can be had with male friends or hired out.


I dunno, I like their reactions to various 'stimuli', it's cute.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Bananapeel said:


> @uhtred - I've never used modern technology but I can't imagine it provides anywhere near the same satisfying experience as a woman.
> 
> From a practical point of view everything that a woman provides in a relationship can be had with male friends or hired out. Additionally, all relationships have costs attributed to them, whether that is time/money/attention, so the sex comes at a cost. Most think it's worthwhile...but, if you aren't getting the sex and are still paying the cost of being in a relationship then you are an absolute sucker. While the way I communicated above might seem a bit vulgar, the point is to learn to express your thoughts in a non-ambiguous way and then the women can decide for themselves whether they want to be part of a relationship with you or not. Honesty and having boundaries works!


This is reinforcement of the notion that you only view women as sex objects. Your model is purely transnational--you barter your time and attention for sex in return. 

I spend time with my wife because *I *also get something out of that, not just as a ruse to get her to put out. 

Going without sex sucks and I have little tolerance for that. But simply buying sex, even if it's just with time/attention, is also quite unsatisfying, at least for me, and equally unacceptable. I want/demand the whole package--someone to be intimate with both in the bedroom and in life. someone I can enjoy time with, even without an erection. It's all or nothing. Settling for just one, either one, is sad.


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

uhtred said:


> But then why not hire professionals rather than have relationships?


Some people do that. I prefer a woman that wants to be with me and is turned on by me, which isn't something I can buy. 



Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> This is reinforcement of the notion that you *only *view women as sex objects. Your model is purely transnational--you barter your time and attention for sex in return.
> 
> I spend time with my wife because *I *also get something out of that, not just as a ruse to get her to put out.
> 
> Going without sex sucks and I have little tolerance for that. But simply buying sex, even if it's just with time/attention, is also quite unsatisfying, at least for me, and equally unacceptable. I want/demand the whole package--someone to be intimate with both in the bedroom and in life. someone I can enjoy time with, even without an erection. It's all or nothing. Settling for just one, either one, is sad.


I don't view women as ONLY sex objects, but being a sex object is part of the package that women provide otherwise it is just a friendship that comes at an unbalanced cost. For that matter, all friendships come with a cost too, which is why there are friends that you don't keep. And this isn't a ruse...I'm upfront about it. 

I agree with you 100% that you should want/expect the whole package. The OP would benefit from that sort of thinking.


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## [email protected] (Mar 1, 2018)

aine said:


> You are the 59 year old guy who left his sexless marriage right?


Nope. She was abusive. But it wasn't sexless, not by a long shot. I did go through a six month period where I refused to **** her. But even up until the end it was daily. 



> And cannot believe how fortunate you are to be married to your current wife. Sounds like to me you might have bitten off more than you can chew.


That's hilarious. Sounds to me like you're a beta who thinks this kind of comment makes up for your lack of alpha.

I made a great decision with this wife. You might think it lucky but I'm the one who picked her out of a looooong list of candidates.

My ex-wife had the state high jump record in Texas and was on an athletic scholarship like me when we met. She was brilliant intellectually, both of us qualified for Mensa and got our graduate degrees. And she was _beautiful_. I had dated the entire homecoming slate in high school - it's the right of state champions in your sport - and had an amazing list of jazz/modern/ballet dancers before the wife. Those girls could **** like bunnies, but I made the decision to match to my wife on what I thought were longer-term traits. She also did enough to convince me sexually before marriage. 

So your impression is wrong - you've got me mixed up with the class nerd who wears thick glasses and never got laid.

You remind me of the people who theorized not to take out the top toddy or dudes because there's too much competition for it, and that they would leave you for someone else. That's what you're saying now. Because you don't have what I have. So you think this kind of statement makes up for your lack? 

I'd pick up one of the millions of little hotties over here currently falling all over themselves to get my attention. And she will permit me mistresses just like this wife or I'm not having her. On the 24th I'll be banging a sweet young 22 year old my wife has already met. That's the situation, not your own fears of younger men or women replacing you. Why would it even matter to me what age someone was were my wife and I to divorce?


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## Lonelygent1977 (Feb 20, 2018)

uhtred said:


> I have to disagree. If the point of relationships was finding a warm hole, why not make use of modern technology. There are a variety of sex toys out there that feel as good as the real thing. Or skip the whole relationship part and just hire professionals do do the job.
> 
> Similarly there are a variety of sex toys for women that provide much more range of stimulation than do penises.
> 
> ...


Very true I have said to my wife in the past that I should buy a real doll and hang it in the cupboard for when she's not in the mood lol

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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

I seriously hope you are joking.....


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## Lonelygent1977 (Feb 20, 2018)

Bananapeel said:


> I seriously hope you are joking.....


Yes I'm not spending $6000 on a piece of silicon lol

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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

Lonelygent1977 said:


> Yes I'm not spending $6000 on a piece of silicon lol
> 
> Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk




Hell...I spent 5k on a couple pieces of silicon. Best money I ever spent 


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

[email protected] said:


> nope. She was abusive. But it wasn't sexless, not by a long shot. I did go through a six month period where i refused to **** her. But even up until the end it was daily.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


lulz!


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Lonelygent1977 said:


> Yes I'm not spending $6000 on a piece of silicon lol
> 
> Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk


Six grand? That'll buy you a lot of 'dates' with living, breathing professionals.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Lonelygent1977 said:


> Very true I have said to my wife in the past that I should buy a real doll and hang it in the cupboard for when she's not in the mood lol
> 
> Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk




It’s clear to me that some people are just destined to be sexless. 


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## purplesunsets (Feb 26, 2018)

Bananapeel said:


> How is that gross? It's direct and honest, and biologically how sex usually works between a man and a woman.


The problem is that you have to even ask...so no matter what I say, it would be a waste of time.


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

It's vulgar but not gross.


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