# Any lawyers on here? How do I get around residency requirements for divorce?



## pedi05401 (Mar 1, 2014)

Hi All,

I posted a couple of months ago, and since then my situation has become exponentially worse, to the point where I have decided divorce is my only option. I would appreciate a lot of advice.

First, my situation is complicated. I work for the government and move to a different country every few years. I'm moving from Africa to Latin America in a week, with time in the U.S. in between. My husband followed me to Africa, but did not work for a majority of the time we were here because of my job.

We have a 3-year old son, and it does break my heart that he will not see his daddy every day (although he currently left for over a week without telling me where he is going, so he really doesn't see him every day now). I want sole custody. Despite the complicated and international nature of my job, my husband does not have the capacity to take care of our son either emotionally or financially. I also, however, do not want to have to give up all of the money I have saved for a house because my husband failed out of school (that I paid for) and hasn't been able to find work.

The other complicated portion of all of this is that we are residents of CT, but we do not live there because I live abroad. I use my brother and sister-in-law's address. CT has a 12-month residency requirement. Does anyone know if there are any waivers? If most states have this residency requirement, then I cannot get a divorce for another three years (at least) and I can't take it that long. 

I don't know what to do. I think I could reasonably get a fault divorce, because I have pretty good evidence that he is cheating, and I have documented his childish behavior, but I want this divorce sooner rather than later, and I do not know how I can go about it. Thank you for the advice.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Don't confuse residency with domicile. Residency is a legal status, domicile is where you happen to live, but with no intent to really make it permanent. Residency is jurisdictional and courts won't waive it just because you're overseas.

Having said that, I don't know if you can use your sibling's residence for these purposes. Were you married in CT? I would contact a CT attorney who might be able to offer some help, maybe a separation agreement giving you custody, for instance. Then file when you return.


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## Gonna Make It (Dec 3, 2012)

Alaska and wyoming are your two best bets. Must be a resident, but no minimum residency time.

List of residency requirements:

State Divorce Residency and Filing Requirements - Divorce Source


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Talk to an attorney.


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## Malpheous (May 3, 2013)

Don't presume the ability to write your husband out of your son's life. His ability to afford anything isn't a basis. Child Support can balance that. As US citizens and you going to another country to work, it could very well have a significant impact on a court's decision.

Being Domiciled in Africa, soon to be Latin America, how do you file your taxes? That's the devil of the details, most likely. Example - A soldier stationed in Germany having joined the military in NY is considered a resident of NY state, unless they purchase a home elsewhere and jump hoops with the military to update their residency. Not sure if that gives a target to aim at or not for you.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

It makes no diffierence in an divorce whether someone is cheating. You would have to prove incompetancy, and that is almost impossible to do. I explored this myself.

The courts also don't care where your last residence was, only where you are living now. I would say that you've going to have to wait until you get back to the states to get divorced.


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## SpinDaddy (Nov 12, 2012)

If you’re military, the Judge Advocates Office will help you. If you’re civilian government, the General Counsel to your Post/Embassy/Region will help. And if you’re private/contractor the Consular Office will help somewhat. That’d be the first place I’d go. Particularly if you’re in the direct employ of Uncle Sugar, that’s what FSOs are there for.


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