# What's the best way for us wives to initiate?



## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

What's the best way you like us wives to initiate? Do you want hints or straight out gestures?


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## dblkman (Jul 14, 2010)

I prefer she get straight to the point.....literally


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## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

Men don't read minds.... In conversation or in bed. If you ain't physically showing us or telling us, we're in the dark, so no complaints if we stumble.

If you tell us you like something, it's up to you to inform us when that changes.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Hmmm... One of my favourite ways for my GF to demonstrate she's interested in sex is when she comes out of the washroom naked. To be more accurate, she could just take her clothes off anywhere, and I'd get the hint.

C


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Hints, make it a mystery. Straight out will just turn me off; too easy. (Unless it's a tease, then its turn on x10)

But that's just me, all men are different


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## cub!chy (May 7, 2012)

Guys aren't like girls, we can get straight to the point. My wife will strip, or most time open my pants, get on her knees and perform oral or just put her hands down my pants, in passing, kitchen, wherever we are. Sometime without saying a word, she will unzip my pants, sit me down and begin riding me. We are on 13 years and have 3 kids under 6. I am HD she is LD, but about 3 years ago changed to HD. I have never said no. We have done some crazy stuff, I am her HO!.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

My husband prefers hints, a lot of teasing and a bit of mystery as well.

He responds well to me playing without the intent of sex - it's in the attitude. He knows I don't care if we have sex or not but that I'm still interested in being sexual with him just because. Takes the pressure off to perform and of course it almost always does lead to sex.


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## Zing (Nov 15, 2012)

Wow you've posted quite close to what I've posted. 
I'd like to hear the answers to your questions myself. I guess Mavash' answer is closest to what generally works for me too... the straightforward approaches are more misses than hits...


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## cub!chy (May 7, 2012)

I couldn't disagree more, sorry mavash and zing, you are dead wrong here! I am assuming you are both women, and your guys are running games on you. Guys hate games, hints, guessing, massages, BS, we want sex, period, all the time. Within sex, we love and will do it all, but the best way to initiate is to be direct, d!ck in mouth, sorry to be so direct, but its warranted in this case. If you don't know this, you don't know your men. Welcome to mans world. Women make love, men F*ck.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

I feel that the only reason women drop hints is that they feel that if they asked straight out, that they might very well face rejection from their man. And I think that a great many more men than women feel the very same way.

There is no dishonor in asking for what one wants or needs. Just set firm ground rules up that if either is ever rejected from making their desires known, that a valid reason is given for any subsequent denial.

I really feel that this is a communication issue that should be handled as overtly and lovingly as possible!


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Doesn't matter much how you do it, blatant or subtle, just do it. Don't overthink this. Trust me, his penis will let you know the best approach.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

cub!chy said:


> I couldn't disagree more, sorry mavash and zing, you are dead wrong here! I am assuming you are both women, and your guys are running games on you. Guys hate games, hints, guessing, massages, BS, we want sex, period, all the time. Within sex, we love and will do it all, but the best way to initiate is to be direct, d!ck in mouth, sorry to be so direct, but its warranted in this case. If you don't know this, you don't know your men. Welcome to mans world. Women make love, men F*ck.


Bull****. Some men can't stand a woman who is too blatant in initiating, whether it be sex, or even being picked up. Not all men get off with the obvious, "d*ick in the mouth" approach. Some men do like a tease, subtle hints, because they like to feel in control, or they like the chase.



cub!chy said:


> Women make love, men F*ck.


More crap. Plenty of men enjoy doing both.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

My husband likes the subtle cues and tease too. As simple as moving my hair to expose my neck, giving him the look and walking away just to glance back over my shoulder, subtle flirty body language, leaving the door open when I'm in a bath, caressing him, wearing something that teases... There are moments when I'm direct in my approach and he likes the mix of both but he favors more the tease and mystery. I enjoy flirting and keeping him guessing, so it's been working for us.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Slow seduction... The flirting, the teasing, one minute the huntress, the next the hunted... Works everytime


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## Lovesong (Nov 26, 2012)

Thank you for addressing that Jaquen. cub!chy seems to have a very narrow, red-neck, one-dimensional view of men.


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## cub!chy (May 7, 2012)

Of course I will make love sometimes, when I am sated, i will take my time, but most times its a f*ck. And Jaquen, what planet are you from. Are you a man, men, i would put this in the 99.9 percentile love women who know what they want and initiate. You are dead, dead wrong dude. Being picked up, was that a 60, 70s thing, we love to be picked up and we love women who know what they want. A tease is ok, but we prefer straight to business, not beating around the bush. Again, once a man is sated, a little game is ok, like what you all describe, but the norm is d!ck to mouth, not ***** footing. I don't have a very narrow view, I have a mans view, the factual male view that your weak men wont tell you. Someone mentioned communication, if you had it with your men, then you would know. a man to sex is like a vampire to blood, the breaking dawn series comes to mind. Women learn what's is a mans mind. All you need to do is put your hands in his pants, that's it, the rest is lies they told you, because that's what they think you want!


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

cub!chy said:


> Of course I will make love sometimes, when I am sated, i will take my time, but most times its a f*ck.


Then don't write in absolutes that women make love, and men f*ck, if even you cop to doing both.



cub!chy said:


> And Jaquen, what planet are you from.


Planet Common Sense. You should visit some time. It's quite nice.



cub!chy said:


> Are you a man


Sure am.



cub!chy said:


> men, i would put this in the 99.9 percentile love women who know what they want and initiate.


Got a link to back this up 99.9 percentile? Got any actual male friends? I have plenty, and guess what? Quite a few of them enjoy the tease, the seduction, the game. The "d*ick in the mouth" approach is hot, it's my wife's preferred method, but lots of men enjoy the thrill of the chase. A hot woman walking suggestively in a pair of her favorite sexy underwear. A look. Men who actually have regular, fulfilling sex with real women aren't always so desperate for sex that they can't stand a little teasing, a little lead up.

Again, you don't have to choose. 



cub!chy said:


> You are dead, dead wrong dude. Being picked up, was that a 60, 70s thing, we love to be picked up and we love women who know what they want. A tease is ok, but we prefer straight to business, not beating around the bush. Again, once a man is sated, a little game is ok, like what you all describe, but the norm is d!ck to mouth, not ***** footing. I don't have a very narrow view, I have a mans view, the factual male view that your weak men wont tell you. Someone mentioned communication, if you had it with your men, then you would know. a man to sex is like a vampire to blood, the breaking dawn series comes to mind. Women learn what's is a mans mind. All you need to do is put your hands in his pants, that's it, the rest is lies they told you, because that's what they think you want!


I know what planet you're from now. It's planet Cub!chy. 

Population: *1*.

It makes perfect sense now that you have the authority to speak for the whole world.


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## Lovesong (Nov 26, 2012)

Hey Cub!chy, 

It's exactly that narrow view of men that has left me bewildered and hurt. If it were as simple as stuffing my hand down my guy's pants then I'd be having the amount of sex that I want. But it isn't so simple. Each man is different in his needs, wants, likes, etc. Like another thread shows, some men like it straight up, some like a tease, etc. some are put off by such a forward woman. Some like when a woman knows what she wants and some don't. 

Presently, I"m struggling with the fact I'm HD and he's LD. What suggestion do you have with this fact?? and it is not that I'm unattractive, overweight, or dull. My previous BF made me feel like the hottest thing on the planet. But we had similar drives and tastes for sexual adventure. As it happens, my present BF and I don't. Or I haven't figured out how to unlock it. 

Ideas??


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## cub!chy (May 7, 2012)

Jaquen, pardon my absolute, and ok, 99.9% is a little high, I will bring it down to 99.8%. I didn't say men can't do the teasing seduction game as you call it, I said we prefer directness, c0ck in mouth. I am 38, been around the block a couple of times, but only 1 planet, the place were real men speak their mind. Are you telling me that during 1 week of daily sex, you don't prefer your partner to go down on you instead of hinting and flirting around the issue? Read the original post, what's better, I say, men prefer direct, hand in pants, c0ck in mouth, and if 99.8 is too high, you provide a %, buts if its less than 75%, you aint from planet earth. Lovesong, yours is a different issue, from the original post. I would suggest watching porn together, hand in pants, daily oral, rubbing his c0ck outside his pants, you masturbating in front of him, offer anal, ride him, lick his balls, have anal in front of mirror, do DP with anal and dildo, speak to him as to your wants and needs and he will man up for you. Be direct and it wont fail. If it does, he may have other issues, maybe medical condition.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

As long as they initiate, I'm good with slow, fast, direct, subtle, in any attire, in any language, in any room of the house, any time. I think mixing it up with different approaches would be best, anyway. As long as the message gets clearly received.


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## oldgeezer (Sep 8, 2012)

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> What's the best way you like us wives to initiate? Do you want hints or straight out gestures?



If I'm not "in the mood", then some warm touching, snuggling and getting naked works. No amount of that is any good if I've been yelled at and she's been cranky all day. 

Even better... Drag me into the shower, get scrubbed clean together, and then off to the most comfortable place - the bed. 

Call me fussy, but I very much prefer she was clean and warm. But it's not necessary all the time, spontaneous is good, too, but I have to be into it then. Favorite fantasies include having her go for it while we're on the couch... Or in the shower... 

If she ever jumped me in the back yard on a blanket, I think I'd have a heart attack and die grinning. 

But hey, it's just me.


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## oldgeezer (Sep 8, 2012)

Once we worked all day at tearing out and replacing the bathroom. I mean, both of us busted our backsides to get a bathroom back to functional in just a few hours. Once it was back to functioning, we stopped for a few minutes to catch our breath, so to speak, and the next thing I knew we were on the living room floor just going at it like crazy. I have no idea who initiated what, but damn, that was some of the most intense we ever had. Why? Not a clue. 

We were a mess, the house was a horrible mess, and aching tired. And hungry. And the kids were going to get home from school in 30 minutes. And we barely got off the floor and into the bedroom before they showed up. But it was a scorcher for both of us. 

Something about working together can "do it" too.


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## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

I go with the we are all different,but in my case I like just get to it with sexy undies on her of panty hose I can rip off her.


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## Zing (Nov 15, 2012)

@ cubchy

My husband does not have any medical problems. He is terribly loyal, no porn addict and genuinely attracted to me. Also, he is very straightforward and would hate ill-intended game-playing both ways. 

However, if I went for the direct approach like you stated - I would not get an instant response from him unless we were on a vacation with the children already asleep. Like oldgeezer stated, on workdays he needs to unwind first. (This is precisely why I started another thread in the same section) 
Plus, I too think he prefers it if he doesn't have the 'pressure' to perform on my terms. He's quite comfortable being the chaser - all he asks is I relent eventually. 
If I don't come on to him so directly, like Mavash stated - then it leaves him open to come back to me when the time-frame and his mindset is apt. 

Every guy is different...and I'm not exaggerating at all... but, frankly speaking I know more guys who like the teasing than the direct approach too...:yawn2:


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

My hubby wasn't in the mood yesterday. Oh well. I lucky the last two days before. I tried being direct as possible with nothing on under the covers giving him a "peep" show of little things here and there.

I'll try a different approach tonight. Last night time really wasn't on our side either. He may of needed a break anyway. I do not want to be pushy. I'm very HD myself.

I don't like rejection either, but I accept it respectfully.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> My hubby wasn't in the mood yesterday. Oh well. I lucky the last two days before. I tried being direct as possible with nothing on under the covers giving him a "peep" show of little things here and there.
> 
> I'll try a different approach tonight. Last night time really wasn't on our side either. He may of needed a break anyway. I do not want to be pushy. I'm very HD myself.
> 
> I don't like rejection either, but I accept it respectfully.


You're naked in bed and he didn't go for it?? I would have been on that like a large mouth bass on a jelly worm. If I still have the breath of life in me and a naked woman snuggles up to me in bed, it'll be on. A guy doesn't have to be Sherlock Holmes to figure out a woman's in the mood if she's snuggling up him you, naked.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

My Husband is sitting right here...he has no care for subtle, I just asked him this and am :rofl:... he says with a straight face...."Well...I think the best way is to come up to him and stick your hands down his pants". 

Gotta love that.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

unbelievable said:


> *You're naked in bed and he didn't go for it??* I would have been on that like a large mouth bass on a jelly worm. If I still have the breath of life in me and a naked woman snuggles up to me in bed, it'll be on. A guy doesn't have to be Sherlock Holmes to figure out a woman's in the mood if she's snuggling up him you, naked.


While I admire your tanacity, sir, I can't help but thinking back to my STBXW. While she had a marked preference for sleeping in the buff, early on in our relationship, it just wasn't that difficult putting 2 + 2 together and fastly knowing that something was going to happen. She loved it~ I loved it!

Then as things waned in the later stages, she donned some of the most unattractive granny gowns that quelled most any posturing on my part~ ultimately with me trying and getting quickly slapped down.

Then she went back to nude. Except whenever I read those perceived "signals" of hers, she quickly admonished me that she was not in the mood and liked to sleep naked because it always felt good to her. So after having seen her in her natural state, and assuming that paradise awaited and then being belittled over my raging hormones and subsequent advances, I just rolled right back out of bed and put my sleep shorts back on. I never attempted again because of this torturous rejection process of hers, knowing full well that that 's probably what she had in mind for me all along.

So from that prespective, I'm clearly not into games or quasi-subtle signals. Just attack me or make your intentions clear, and I'll be all over my lady much like *unbelievable*'s large mouth bass on a jelly worm!

In my estimation, there is absolutely nothing more beautiful than the female body. But I don't want to be ransomed or placed in the unenviable position to be made to play games for it! 

That, after all is what love is not about!


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

unbelievable said:


> You're naked in bed and he didn't go for it?? I would have been on that like a large mouth bass on a jelly worm. If I still have the breath of life in me and a naked woman snuggles up to me in bed, it'll be on. A guy doesn't have to be Sherlock Holmes to figure out a woman's in the mood if she's snuggling up him you, naked.


I'm higher drive then he is. I need new ways to initiate. I need to make it exciting and fun.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> I'm higher drive then he is. I need new ways to initiate. I need to make it exciting and fun.


Maam! Your husband is, indeed, one very lucky man!


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

arbitrator said:


> Maam! Your husband is, indeed, one very lucky man!


Honestly, it's the other way around. I'm one very lucky wife. <3


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

cub!chy said:


> Jaquen, pardon my absolute, and ok, 99.9% is a little high, I will bring it down to 99.8%. I didn't say men can't do the teasing seduction game as you call it, I said we prefer directness, c0ck in mouth. I am 38, been around the block a couple of times, but only 1 planet, the place were real men speak their mind. Are you telling me that during 1 week of daily sex, you don't prefer your partner to go down on you instead of hinting and flirting around the issue? Read the original post, what's better, I say, men prefer direct, hand in pants, c0ck in mouth, and if 99.8 is too high, you provide a %, buts if its less than 75%, you aint from planet earth. Lovesong, yours is a different issue, from the original post. I would suggest watching porn together, hand in pants, daily oral, rubbing his c0ck outside his pants, you masturbating in front of him, offer anal, ride him, lick his balls, have anal in front of mirror, do DP with anal and dildo, speak to him as to your wants and needs and he will man up for you. Be direct and it wont fail. If it does, he may have other issues, maybe medical condition.


Jeepers Cub,

Its meant to be making love. A spontaneous expression of your love, affection and lust for your woman. not a statistical analysis. I have'nt got a clue what percentage of who does what when and who starts it and how. Crumbs, I'd lose count as soon as we got started because all other thoughts go flying out my head.

However I suppose it's because I'm just a wuss beta type.

It sounds very much as though you are an extreme ultra alpha type, am I right?

Oh and BTW it might just be the way I am reading it but you seem to have typed that real men prefer c0ck in mouth. Well I'm definitely not a real man because eeew.


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## cub!chy (May 7, 2012)

Zing, the fact that your man will respond directly while on vacation means he can do it all the time. Men always have sex on mind and whats the best way to unwind after work, c0ck in mouth, i know it seems draconion, but thats our nature, thats what i am driving here and women dont seem to get. I know each guy is diffrent, but the majority, i am trying to avoid absolutes, love c0ck in hand like SimplyAmorous states. Arbitrator is also with me, no games, be direct, get sexual. For wyshiknew, men dont really seperate sex and making love, for us is f*ckind, i am not alpha male, whatever that is, i am a regular joe, as your husbands, but we dont comunciate well and fear that our women cant handle the truth. My wife gets it, yes, i play teh game evry now and then for her sake, but i always prefer direct. And yes, wyshinkew you found a typo. I ment real men prefer direct physical. One last thing, for all you women that read 50 shades of gray, correct me if i am wrong, but Mr. grey always says he wants to f*ck anastasia and he enver makes love to her. Am i right here and women love those books, written by a woman, i think. The author got it right, its all about f*cking. Original poster, be direct and you will always get yours.


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## ATC529R (Oct 31, 2012)

just touch my penis, and I know.......


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Ex just wanted me to grab him. I didn't like that approach much.

Boyfriend turned me down several times but I was persistent. Probably was a sign.


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## roostr (Oct 20, 2012)

Trenton said:


> Be coy. Wear his favorite panties (of yours, not his!) and bend over wearing a short skirt or wear a low cut top and bend over in front of him. Twirl hair, smile sweetly, touch him softly, grab his balls, incorporate it all on a regular basis.


I like that approach a lot. :FIREdevil:


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Being too direct too often is pushy. I like to respect my husband as much as possible. He has the same respect for me. We do grope each other at the right moments.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

If she just shows up and looks a little interested, I'll nail her like an Amish barn.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

*Memo: Coitus

The following is a reminder that you will be getting laid like tile at 9:43 pm, Friday November 30th.

Attendance is mandatory.

Please acknowledge that you have read and understand this memorandum.

We greatly appreciate the hard work you put in, but require you to confront this issue, rise to the occasion, go the extra mile and put it in again, thrust forward and come out on top.

We have every confidence in your abilities.

Any questions, contact administration. Please, no phone calls.

Have a great day.*

Yeah. A memo. No gray area there.


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## cub!chy (May 7, 2012)

You women arent paying attention, you are not listening, you dont accept what we want, again, listes, right here you ahve me and 2 other telling you, be direct. I'mInLoveWithMyHubby of course you grope your man, but what he doesnt tell you, its always the right moment, groping does not lessen repect. A man wants direct, sexual action, oral, groping, hand in pants, everytime over playing about the issue. Men would die for their women to grope everytime they want sex, are you kidding me. I'mInLoveWithMyHubby ask your husband, tell him no matter what he answers, you are cool with it and he will tell you the truth, unless he is 60 and really old school and wont tell you the truth even if you really want to know. These kind of men usualy f*ck hoes and call girls instead of their wifes. If you want your man to be real around you, get him to tell you what he really wants and what most want, c0ck in wifes mouth, all the time!


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

I like direct action. I like hinting. I very much dislike direct asking. 

So, if I'm laying in bed and she reaches down and starts stroking; that's direct action. Works every time.

If I'm laying in bed and she exits the closet wearing lingerie, that's hinting. Works every time.

If I'm laying in bed and she's laying there and says "want to get busy?" that's a huge turn-off and I say no just about 100% of the time.


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## Weathered (Dec 15, 2009)

Getting a hint wrong can lead to embarrassment also. So having a clear message that the woman is interested in sex makes it an invitation that the man has no fear in taking up.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tiredandout (Jun 1, 2011)

:lol:
Love the memo! 

My husband is one for the direct approach. Grab his penis, have a good ol' make-out with groping, sexting/emailing an idea to him for later etc.

I can take my clothes off, walk infront of him, do a dance, even a wiggle — and he will _not_ think I'm initiating. He will think I'm doing a naked wiggle-dance just for fun. 

The request: "Wanna have a sexy shower with me?" said naked, while doing a Marilyn-type-pose infront of him — resulted in him (eventually) getting in the shower with me, but just talking about his work the whole time. Asked about it afterwards, his response: "Oh I had no idea _that's_ what you wanted!" 

Yeah, his one for the direct approach. :scratchhead:


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## trex (Oct 31, 2012)

Wow. Just, wow. I'm speechless.

I have never, ever, ever rejected my wife. We've been together for almost 13 years now. Geez, even when I got my vas, if she made an advance at me, I would have tried to go for it. There may have been a couple instances where it was an inappropriate time and I had to defer to later, but I definitely let her know that it would be happening as soon as possible.

For the guys that reject their wives/gf's regularly, it's not even a mindset I can wrap my head around. I could see a difference for a guy that is getting his fill, though I can't speak from experience.

In my 1-2 per month diet, my wife can be subtle or direct, just as long as she makes good on the advances. As it is, I think I prefer the direct approach. Part of that is because it happens very often that she'll drop me some hints throughout the day and in the end have some reason why it won't happen. I'm pretty sure this happens more often then we actually have sex. Sometimes, it can last for days like this. It's beyond frustrating to be led on like that.

BTW, love the memo!


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## Zing (Nov 15, 2012)

I'm beginning to see a pattern here - correct me if I am wrong...

Those of you who've said that you love the direct approach and would give in that very moment are mostly HD and probably having LESSER frequency than your optimal! If it's only happening once a week or twice a month then I'm sure you'd be delighted when your wife is direct... I'm sure my husband would be too if we were not having as much sex as he wished for... but since he has now, his response is not 'Wow...forget about my work...let's just head to the bedroom!' His response is more like 'Ok... hmmm... sex? Fine wait let me just finish this email....' or 'Ok...I'll come...just give me half an hour... I have to finish this...and we'll go upstairs...' 
We'll go on to have fun later, but its never a '' reaction to anything I do... 

Remember men, this question is coming from HD wives of normal-drive husbands i.e...where the wives think about sex more than their husbands (even if only slightly)...then groping 4 times a week doesn't really sound optimal does it? Well, I'm telling you it doesn't work in my case...he almost acts like I'm tickling him and wiggles away...:rofl: says his shorts feel uncomfortable...something feels uncomfortable...

Lol Cubchy you almost sound disheartened that we're not on the same page... anyway, it just goes to show that every man is different...


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## trex (Oct 31, 2012)

Yup, Zing. I think you got it right.

HD wives with LD husbands. The HD wives are rare enough. Seems such a waste to pair them with guys who don't care to keep up.

If you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to go have a good cry.


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## cub!chy (May 7, 2012)

The pattern may be there, but its not my case. Our frequency is at least 5-7 times a week. I will jump when my wife wants me regarless of how much sex i had yesterday. I am with the posters that dont understand how a husband can turn down your wife. Its never happend once for me in 13 years and 3 kids.A grope from my wife is never inapropriate, even in public places. 

Zing, i am not disheartened that you are not with me, but i am saddened that you dont get it and neither do most women here. Lets take your man for instance and lets take our gloves off! Maybe you are boring or have barriers. Use this example, walk up to your husband in his worst day, grope him and tell him in a sexy voice that he can put it in any place that he wants. Thats mouth, vagina, anus, now i will use obsolutes, he will knock you down as he drops all and sprints to bedroom. No man will turn that down, get creative, speak to him, let your men do anything and everything that they want to you and you will see unrelenting lust and you may just get to know your real man. Women dont get it, men are sex animals by nature.


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## Zing (Nov 15, 2012)

Trex, my husband would be quite ':scratchhead:' if I referred to him as low drive...I wouldn't say need, but he does wish for/enjoy intimacy twice a week...



cub!chy said:


> The pattern may be there, but its not my case. Our frequency is at least 5-7 times a week. I will jump when my wife wants me regarless of how much sex i had yesterday. I am with the posters that dont understand how a husband can turn down your wife. Its never happend once for me in 13 years and 3 kids.A grope from my wife is never inapropriate, even in public places.
> 
> Zing, i am not disheartened that you are not with me, but i am saddened that you dont get it and neither do most women here. Lets take your man for instance and lets take our gloves off! Maybe you are boring or have barriers. Use this example, walk up to your husband in his worst day, grope him and tell him in a sexy voice that he can put it in any place that he wants. Thats mouth, vagina, anus, now i will use obsolutes, he will knock you down as he drops all and sprints to bedroom. No man will turn that down, get creative, speak to him, let your men do anything and everything that they want to you and you will see unrelenting lust and you may just get to know your real man. Women dont get it, men are sex animals by nature.


loool... all right I'll take you up on this challenge and try your strategy when he's immersed in work and report on the outcome... 
but again I must say you and your wife are in the rarity... kudos to you two...


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

I started a poll on this very topic, just to get a feel from my other fellow TAM brothers.

So far the vast majority of respondents have voted that both approaches are what they prefer, depending on their mood.

So yes, like I said, it takes all kinds.


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## TrustInUs (Sep 9, 2012)

cub!chy said:


> *The pattern may be there, but its not my case. Our frequency is at least 5-7 times a week. I will jump when my wife wants me regarless of how much sex i had yesterday. I am with the posters that dont understand how a husband can turn down your wife. Its never happend once for me in 13 years and 3 kids.A grope from my wife is never inapropriate, even in public places. *
> .


While there may be some generalizations that can be made, all men are different, and like a different approach to sex. What may work for you may not work for another. We average at least 3-4 times weekly and sometimes twice a day. If I used the direct approach every time, and didn't allow him the thrill of the chase he'd be a little turned off. 

I do think there is something to that pattern that someone mentioned though. I know my H likes both approaches, but he is also getting his fill as well.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

My husband likes subtle tease as I wrote before...and it is related to lessening that feeling of pressure. He knows my flirtation and there wouldn't be doubt as to whether it was a signal for him or not. It's also rare for me to not be in the mood with him. As for being direct, well that ties in with working on our relationship so there isn't a preconceived notion of pressure involved.

I loved the response I got from him when I playfully refused his advances. Intimacy and more sex was something that needed focus in our relationship so it felt counter-intuitive to do this. It wasn't something I'd planned, it was just in the moment, and like I said, delivered playfully. It took him by surprise and he in turn surprised me! In the morning, he told me to prepare for a lunch-time rendezvous as he wouldn't be able to wait the whole day for me. I asked what time we should meet and he said he'd let me know. Now who was teasing who? The antici....pation was fantastic.

Flirtation and build-up. Works for us. 

Direct can be good too. Maybe a variety of both. 


IILWMH - sorry if I overlooked this but how have you been initiating in the past? What do you find he responds most to?


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

cub!chy said:


> Of course I will make love sometimes, when I am sated, i will take my time, but most times its a f*ck. And Jaquen, what planet are you from. Are you a man, men, i would put this in the 99.9 percentile love women who know what they want and initiate. You are dead, dead wrong dude. Being picked up, was that a 60, 70s thing, we love to be picked up and we love women who know what they want. A tease is ok, but we prefer straight to business, not beating around the bush. Again, once a man is sated, a little game is ok, like what you all describe, but the norm is d!ck to mouth, not ***** footing. I don't have a very narrow view, I have a mans view, the factual male view that your weak men wont tell you. Someone mentioned communication, if you had it with your men, then you would know. a man to sex is like a vampire to blood, the breaking dawn series comes to mind. Women learn what's is a mans mind. All you need to do is put your hands in his pants, that's it, the rest is lies they told you, because that's what they think you want!


Hey cub, are you sure you are'nt suffering from some form of erectile dysfunction and overcompensating for feelings of inadequacy by spouting nonsense on this forum?

Your way isn't the only way you know, and men are'nt 'weak' or chasing 'hoes' if they don't agree and like things a different way.
I showed my wife your posts, and when she stopped laughing she expressed sympathy for your wife. She also said that with your attitude she wouldn't do you if you were the last man on earth.

Seriously chap, you wanna stop smokin' whatever you're smokin' cos it's getting you over excited.


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## cub!chy (May 7, 2012)

WyshIknew, this peaked my interest, chap. I can honestly tell you, that eveytime the wind blows, i get hard, so no erctile disfuction, at 38 at elast not yet! I had many women, of diffrent shapes, color, sizes, ethnicities, so no compensating there either. Chap, i am trying to educate women here on how men trully are. What i am saying is not nonsense, its factual. Did you read what other posters said? Are you telling me that you have a problem is your wife puts her hands down your pants when she wants sex? Some questions for you, whats your age and how long have you been married? As to your wife, do you know all her deep dark secrets? Whats your sex frequency? If you have foreplay with her for 2 weeks, dont let her cum and then let her blind fold you, give you some rum and tell her she can do anything she wants, do you know what will happen? You may well be very surprised. As for doing your wife, well i never cheated, but hypothetically, i dont come off as the pig that i sound in this forum. I do this so women can learn and know what men are like and all they have to do is grope, period. I actually have a very good game, am a great dancer, i am well educated and can talk about anything, politics, religion, world events, lets just say that after 2 hours, your wife may let me put it, where she never allows you! Dont get upset and i dont mean to be disrespectfull. If a man doesnt tell his wife what he wants then he is weak and i know many men that use hoes or escorts or happy endings because they cant be direct with their wifes. My wife is my HO, i love and respect her dealy, i dont treat her like a caveman, but she has an undertanding that when it comes to sex, its c0ck in mouth type of directness. Chap. 

Zing, loved the challenge, please execute and post back or PM me, i think you will learn a thing or 2 about your man!


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## TrustInUs (Sep 9, 2012)

So you know what *every* man likes? And if they don't like what you think they should they are weak? Just trying to understand...


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

cub!chy said:


> WyshIknew, this peaked my interest, chap. I can honestly tell you, that eveytime the wind blows, i get hard, so no erctile disfuction, at 38 at elast not yet! I had many women, of diffrent shapes, color, sizes, ethnicities, so no compensating there either. Chap, i am trying to educate women here on how men trully are. What i am saying is not nonsense, its factual. Did you read what other posters said? Are you telling me that you have a problem is your wife puts her hands down your pants when she wants sex? Some questions for you, whats your age and how long have you been married? As to your wife, do you know all her deep dark secrets? Whats your sex frequency? If you have foreplay with her for 2 weeks, dont let her cum and then let her blind fold you, give you some rum and tell her she can do anything she wants, do you know what will happen? You may well be very surprised. As for doing your wife, well i never cheated, but hypothetically, i dont come off as the pig that i sound in this forum. I do this so women can learn and know what men are like and all they have to do is grope, period. I actually have a very good game, am a great dancer, i am well educated and can talk about anything, politics, religion, world events, lets just say that after 2 hours, your wife may let me put it, where she never allows you! Dont get upset and i dont mean to be disrespectfull. If a man doesnt tell his wife what he wants then he is weak and i know many men that use hoes or escorts or happy endings because they cant be direct with their wifes. My wife is my HO, i love and respect her dealy, i dont treat her like a caveman, but she has an undertanding that when it comes to sex, its c0ck in mouth type of directness. Chap.
> 
> Zing, loved the challenge, please execute and post back or PM me, i think you will learn a thing or 2 about your man!


Meanwhile, so far, the poll results in this thread say the majority of respondents prefer a combination of the aggressive and the subtle teasing:

Talk About Marriage - View Poll Results

You might want to find a new definition for "fact", mate.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

cub!chy said:


> WyshIknew, this peaked my interest, chap. I can honestly tell you, that eveytime the wind blows, i get hard, so no erctile disfuction, at 38 at elast not yet! I had many women, of diffrent shapes, color, sizes, ethnicities, so no compensating there either *Only ever made PIV love to one woman*. Chap, i am trying to educate women here on how men trully are. What i am saying is not nonsense, its factual. Did you read what other posters said? *yes I did* Are you telling me that you have a problem is your wife puts her hands down your pants when she wants sex? *No not at all it's just not the only way we go about things* Some questions for you, whats your age *just 56*and how long have you been married? *28 years* As to your wife, do you know all her deep dark secrets? *I don't know, her past sex life yes* Whats your sex frequency? *We approximate to once every other day* If you have foreplay with her for 2 weeks, dont let her cum *She'd probably use her flexible buzzing friend* and then let her blind fold you, give you some rum and tell her she can do anything she wants, do you know what will happen? You may well be very surprised. As for doing your wife, well i never cheated, but hypothetically, i dont come off as the pig that i sound in this forum. I do this so women can learn and know what men are like and all they have to do is grope, period. I actually have a very good game, am a great dancer, i am well educated and can talk about anything, politics, religion, world events, lets just say that after 2 hours, your wife may let me put it, where she never allows you! *well that's certainly possible I'll be sure to mention it to her.* Dont get upset and i dont mean to be disrespectfull. *That's ok I don't get upset very easily, it's just two dudes banging away on a keyboard after all. Maybe I could return the favour, too much of that fantastic stuff from you might mean she would appreciate a caring lover* If a man doesnt tell his wife what he wants then he is weak And a man that doesn't ask his wife what she would like sometimes is selfish and i know many men that use hoes or escorts or happy endings because they cant be direct with their wifes. My wife is my HO, i love and respect her dealy, i dont treat her like a caveman, but she has an undertanding that when it comes to sex, its c0ck in mouth type of directness. Chap. You may not want to be a caveman but you post on the forum going "Grawwwr me strong man, me best lover, my way only way. You disagree you weak Grawwwr" Lighten up dude, just because other people do it different doesn't make them weak.
> 
> Zing, loved the challenge, please execute and post back or PM me, i think you will learn a thing or 2 about your man!


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## Chumpless (Oct 30, 2012)

A "not so subtle" tease, like grabbing my [email protected], along with a wet kiss would work for me.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

jaquen said:


> Meanwhile, so far, the poll results in this thread say the majority of respondents prefer a combination of the aggressive and the subtle teasing:
> 
> Talk About Marriage - View Poll Results
> 
> *You might want to find a new definition for "fact", mate*.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

I must of did something right. Hubby came home for "lunch". 

Gotta love those days. Although, I wish he would of called, so I would of been more prepared. I was in my pj's doing housework.lol


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## cub!chy (May 7, 2012)

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby , bet your man didnt come home to cuttle, there was gropping and down to business, glad you have it!

ok, I will get off absolutes and say that not all men, but i will still insist on most like direct hand in pants, directness than playing the issue. Thanks frenchfry!

WyshIknew, loved the Grawwwr, and sure, you can return the favor but i will let my wife decide that, good luck. I dont take this lightly, because women still dont get it, thats all i am trying to fo here, make sure they get it, that most men prefer direct hand in pants. Again off aosolutes. No Grawwwr here, chaps! 56 and 28 years, plus she has a rabbit, i have to tip my hat to you, not bad. hope i make it to 28, been faithfull the entire time? 

TrustInUs, good catch, i am off aosolutes!

Chumpless gets it!

So whats the concensus, most men like directness, some like suttle sometimes?


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

cub!chy said:


> So whats the concensus, most men like directness, some like suttle sometimes?


The general consensus, according to the actual poll running on this topic, is that the vast majority of respondents prefer *both* approaches, depending on their mood.


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## Zing (Nov 15, 2012)

cub!chy said:


> Zing, loved the challenge, please execute and post back or PM me, i think you will learn a thing or 2 about your man!


Took you up on the challenge when he was buried in work on his laptop. I made sure I was dressed well, it was 10:30 pm...he'd had enough time since he returned home...and I wanted to be enthusiastic....I came in between him and his laptop, sat on his lap and did as suggested... 

First second or so didn't know what was happening. 
After a second or two slightly nudged me away and said 'What are you doing?' slightly surprised
Then, he turned away from my kiss and said 'Please give me 5 minutes...I need to finish this thing' (referring to his program codes on the laptop)
He was clearly uncomfortable...
because that's just not 'us'
I agree with frenchyfry... 
what ALWAYS works for one couple might not work for another or might only work SOME of the time... not necessary it has to work ALL of the time.. 

Edit - He did put his laptop down as promised 5-10 minutes later and asked me to come back to him. I tried to resume my enthusiasm and went and sat back on his lap...he was still a bit 'taken aback' by my advances...
With a mischievously sceptical expression of what's-gotten-into-her he asked me 'What are you going to do?' 
So, I tried playing along and said 'You wouldn't know...I'm mysterious... like Sylvester Stallone from Sliver'
A second later and we both went into a 5 minute laughing fit... I meant to say Sharon Stone and ended up saying Stallone instead...
He said 'I was trying to get my head around what Stallone would do if ever on my lap...'
But we did have a playful time after that...


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

My husband is a very big into cuddling! He loves affection just as much as I do!


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## ad-havoc (Nov 29, 2012)

my wife offers different kinds of peep shows to aroused me 
at one time she even "forgets" to wear her undies when she was cleaning.

btw she is HD and i m HD as well........

still some seduction and hinting will always leads to limitless possibilities when it comes to sex


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## cub!chy (May 7, 2012)

Zing said:


> Took you up on the challenge when he was buried in work on his laptop. I made sure I was dressed well, it was 10:30 pm...he'd had enough time since he returned home...and I wanted to be enthusiastic....I came in between him and his laptop, sat on his lap and did as suggested...
> 
> First second or so didn't know what was happening.
> After a second or two slightly nudged me away and said 'What are you doing?' slightly surprised
> ...


Zing, you did'nt do it right, you were supposed to walk up to him and grope him and put your hands down his pants, then you could do oral, with no comunication. Thats being direct. Then pull away and tell him that he can put it anywhere he wants, thats when i said he woudl knock you down on the way to the bedroom...thats beinf direct! is a retake a possibility?


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

The "you can put it anywhere you want" approach isn't really going to work for guys who already know they can "put it anywhere they want".

If my wife walked up to me and whispered that in my ear, I'd look back at her puzzled and say "Yeah, I know".


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## Zing (Nov 15, 2012)

'did as suggested' did actually mean that I did as you suggested...just didn't describe it in so many words...

Jacquen's reply is what I've been trying to say ...
and even when I was LD, him HD etc, he'll never go at it straight-away unless he's just off the shower and enters a quiet bedroom with nothing else on his mind... he's generally a bit fussy about privacy (like making sure curtains are closed), hygiene (washing up first etc). He will take a short break from me to have all of that done so that he gets it right every time.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

Trenton said:


> Be coy. Wear his favorite panties (of yours, not his!) and bend over wearing a short skirt or wear a low cut top and bend over in front of him. Twirl hair, smile sweetly, touch him softly, grab his balls, incorporate it all on a regular basis.


:iagree: EXACTLY....Men are visual, and Trenton hit the nail on the head in every way for me. Your husband is such a lucky man Trenton!


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

I've noticed texting him(flirty/dirty/naughty) while he's at work has been helping.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Yep this works!

Also my wife likes to change into her nightie and dressing gown later in the evening.
When she walks past the coffee table and between the chairs she lifts her dressing gown and nightie up to avoid brushing things off the table.
When she wants to tease she just lifts them a little higher to give me a glimpse of her panties as she walks past. And then grins.


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## TrustInUs (Sep 9, 2012)

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> I've noticed texting him(flirty/dirty/naughty) while he's at work has been helping.


That's a good way to build up anticipation for the coming evening. I find it works well for us as well.


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## trex (Oct 31, 2012)

Zing said:


> ...when I *was* LD, him HD etc...


Not to change the subject, but what changed? What turned you?


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> I've noticed texting him(flirty/dirty/naughty) while he's at work has been helping.


I have to say this works very well!


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## mothugsta (Feb 22, 2013)

Yes, texting, pictures...just letting him know you bought new panties. Yeah, takes about 2.5 seconds to initiate sex ladies. We will have the best work-day if you did that around 10 am.  
Just coming up to him and whispering..."I want to be selfish.." and walk away. Any seducing type behavior physically, orally..whatever. Dont make it more complicated than it needs to be, or else we may not see what you are trying to do.

Basically watch any number of your soap operas, or love-drama movies. Cheesy as some may be...they work


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Text a picture of your feet wearing your highest cfm heels with the text "I put these on and they are making me need things done to me very very badly. Get home fast"


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

mothugsta said:


> Yes, texting, pictures...just letting him know you bought new panties....


That would definitely get me going! Seeing her in panties is such a turn on...her modeling them for me drives me insane with passion. Sorry if this is TMI.


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## Gabey (Feb 20, 2013)

Unexpected works best for me. I get a lot of the submissive, quiet wife, so I would love more of the straight out approach.

I said in other posts how I've loved when she acts out of character and that includes what she wants me to do.


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## yellowstar (Jun 18, 2012)

Well I just followed husband into kitchen. Was telling him I wish he was more 'alpha' sometimes with me...this is after a few days of talking about our relationship. We were hugging, just kind of kissy with each other then boom...we go from 0 to 10 in like 5 secs. Didn't care our blinds in the kitchen were open and that our daughter was next in the other room (preoccupied with a movie--yes still a big risk I know). I like that, I wish I would do it more often and I told husband I wish HE would be more alpha/initiation more often. He said he didn't in the past because I always look busy...I told him I'd rather he try at least...sometimes I'll turn him down but sometimes not.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Trenton said:


> Be coy. Wear his favorite panties (of yours, not his!) and bend over wearing a short skirt or wear a low cut top and bend over in front of him. Twirl hair, smile sweetly, touch him softly, grab his balls, incorporate it all on a regular basis.


This ^^^


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> What's the best way you like us wives to initiate? Do you want hints or straight out gestures?


Mmm.

I'll be honest. If my wife comes on too strong, it puts a lot of pressure on me. And while she seems to like it anywhere at times, I'm a bit finicky on the time and place (three teenagers).

I like her setting the mood to make me want to screw her. Something low cut. Something tight. Something I like looking at and touching.

Just popping out of the woodwork in a corset and some hooker stockings is...alarming. Mr. Wood no longer goes zero to six in 15 seconds.


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## Cobre (Feb 24, 2013)

I am one of those oblivious husbands...my wife has to bring a 2x4 with the engraved letters "let’s have sex" to get the point to me, other times she has actually jumped me in the nude and it went over very well, I need to see that she wants sex and need to hear her say so otherwise I get back to my mental blocks and hang ups that she doesn’t want this because she hasn’t said so and I could offend her and i take her signals wrong, it is a habit that I am breaking? (Trying to?)


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## Gabey (Feb 20, 2013)

My wife thinks bathroom sex is not romantic. As a boy, growing up in a house of 6, the bathroom was the best choice for alone time with the Playboys. Locking the bedroom door was okay, but that usually signaled something was going on (in my family anyway). The bathroom has the privacy and means of cleanup that the bedroom doesn't. I guess I've always had a Pavlovian response to bathroom sex.

Anyway, one time my wife must have been really horny and knew I wanted sex from asking her a few days before (which never happened due to distractions). I was at the computer not paying attention to her and she mentioned there was a surprise in the bathroom.

We just redecorated this bathroom and it is kind of small, the kids were home from school and she was on her period, so I didn't think sex was what she was referring to. I walked into it with her, she shut and locked the door, turned the fan on, undid my pants and proceeded to give me the best oral I have ever had! I've been having some ED issues and it always has taken me a while to orgasm with oral. Neither were a problem this time! If only she didn't have the damn period...

Perfect example of spontaneous, unexpected and out of character.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Gabey that sounds effing awesome!


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## Tulanian (Feb 23, 2013)

Man, given my current situation this is a truly bittersweet discussion...

At any rate, back when we _were_ having sex (you know, when we were an actual couple and not celibate room mates), there were a lot of ways she'd initiate. Sometimes as simple as coming to bed with a top on but no undies. Sometimes getting under the covers completely nude. Using oral to initiate has always been a fav of mine.

Well, it was.

...FML


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## mothugsta (Feb 22, 2013)

We once were watching an episode of True Blood, lying on our backs in bed. There was of course an intense sex scene, and lol, she noticed the covers on my side rise.... we silently waited for the scene to be over and the next thing I know, the dvr had paused. She jumped out of bed, RIPPED her panties down, and forced herself ontop of me, and i didnt move a muscle for the next 15 minutes. Its IN her to do this, but its RARE.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

mothugsta said:


> We once were watching an episode of True Blood, lying on our backs in bed. There was of course an intense sex scene, and lol, she noticed the covers on my side rise.... we silently waited for the scene to be over and the next thing I know, the dvr had paused. She jumped out of bed, RIPPED her panties down, and forced herself ontop of me, and i didnt move a muscle for the next 15 minutes. Its IN her to do this, but its RARE.


That is hot.


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## mothugsta (Feb 22, 2013)

Now that im thinking about it, yes it is. Actually hotter than when it actually happened. She has no idea how much i reflect on prior sexual encounters while I'm alone. If she only believed me I should say....


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

mothugsta said:


> Now that im thinking about it, yes it is. Actually hotter than when it actually happened. She has no idea how much i reflect on prior sexual encounters while I'm alone. If she only believed me I should say....


You should tell her in writing...the sexy little details that you think about...the things that turn you on. Let her know the details...and then see what she does with them. You have nothing to loose.


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## King Ding Dong (Feb 23, 2013)

Shaggy said:


> Text a picture of your feet wearing your highest cfm heels with the text "I put these on and they are making me need things done to me very very badly. Get home fast"


Yes. CFMPs. Just can't keep the filling inside.


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## mothugsta (Feb 22, 2013)

I have, trust me. No response...thats a whole 'nother forum post im in,,,


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## mothugsta (Feb 22, 2013)

The last time it happened, I was debating on buying a 60" TV...pacing the house. it as 8pm. HHGregg closed at 9. She normally getsirritated because I cant make a decision without pondering, overthinking, analyzing, being frugal...bleh bleh. So i hopped in the car, bought it, assembled it, set it up. And saw my Directv go from 46" to 60". I jokingly said that there is something else that got bigger, and we laffed. I said, lets try a bluray...she grabbed my arm, told me that we can do that in about 20 minutes, we are about to go have some sex. That was Jan 1st. Im really not sure what happened since then. Hot nonetheless. I honestly think it was because i accomplished something, and was proud of it.


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