# How can I find out for sure?



## Jeanie (Nov 14, 2011)

Okay, I need help. I just found on the browser history of my husband's computer dozens of searches for escorts in our area and the area he recently travelled to for work. I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt that he's just looking (and fantacizing) but I need to know for sure. How do I find out?

I tried to acess his BB's call history..but nothing really. Of course, if he called locally, he could have either used our house phone or the hotel phone. Any suggestions??

He is the type that I could not confront him unless I had undeniable proof (he is never in the wrong....even if he's holding the smoking gun...so to speak).


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Escorts cost money. Do you see him taking a lot of cash out of your bank accounts? How about charges on credit cards?

Have you considered putting key stroke tracking software on the computer? You would need to know your state laws on this.

Do you have children who are old enough to use the computer? I'm not implying that I think children might be doing this.. it as to do with what you can do on the computer to track him. For the same reason.. what state do you live in?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Does it matter if he denies it or not? You have just as much of a say in whether the marriage continues or not as he does.

As someone who did the same thing as you've caught your husband doing... In my case, I browsed the websites, CL, etc. Never actually contacted a professional. But it's a definite red flag that something is very wrong in your marriage. It's not just harmless fantasies. Unless the issues are resolved, I'd guess it's only a matter of time till he does cheat. And there's tons of free sources for sex online, and plenty of ways for your husband to hide his tracks.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jeanie (Nov 14, 2011)

Elegirl....I don't have access to his credit card account online...he's got a separate account. That would be the only way he could be paying for it though as I haven't seen large cash withdrawls from our main account. I have thought about trying to intercept his statement (if he still receives a paper version). And no...we don't have children old enough to be doing the searching (my son is only 5). I thought about the key stroke logger, but I wasn't sure it would tell me anything I didn't already know...that he's been looking online. 

Pbear...I would be the first to admit we definitely have issues in our marriage....but unfortunately every time we have tried to talk about it, all I hear is that it's all my fault (literally). If I could just change to be what he thinks I should be, then everything would be great. I have suggested in the past we go to MC..but he feels it won't help since, again, everything would be fine if only I would change. I think it's fair to say that neither of us is getting what we need in the marriage...but I think that we if were both open to looking at our issues together, we'd have a chance.


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## Wanabeelee (Sep 6, 2011)

Jeanie said:


> Pbear...I would be the first to admit we definitely have issues in our marriage....but unfortunately every time we have tried to talk about it, all I hear is that it's all my fault (literally). If I could just change to be what he thinks I should be, then everything would be great. I have suggested in the past we go to MC..but he feels it won't help since, again, everything would be fine if only I would change. I think it's fair to say that neither of us is getting what we need in the marriage...but I think that we if were both open to looking at our issues together, we'd have a chance.


Do you really want to change everything about yourself to be like the person he wants you to be? 

Tell him that MC is a good way for him to let you know what you need to do, and that it would be a good way to get helpful advice on how to do it. 

If you approch him about what he is looking up on the computer, Do it in a matter on how it makes you feel. Dont blame, just let him know that even him looking up stuff like that hurts you and makes you worrie and question about the marriage.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

If the guy is looking up escorts and stuff on line, I'd say you have every right, as his wife, to ask what it's all about. It is completely unacceptable for him to be considering seeing a hired wh0re.

You're worried about making him mad, understandably. Well, IMO, he should be just as worried about making YOU mad.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I know that some men set up appointments thru email for online hookers, so a keylogger could yield results

also, flat out tell him that you want to see the credit card statements.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Jeanie said:


> Okay, I need help. I just found on the browser history of my husband's computer dozens of searches for escorts in our area and the area he recently travelled to for work. I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt that he's just looking (and fantacizing) but I need to know for sure. How do I find out?


You need to know what for sure?

You already know he's doing the searches. The intent is there. I dont' care what anyone says. You don't loko up hookers and escorts and get in dating sites unles you are looking for something.

Do some digging. Get a copy of your credit card statements, call history log, etc. Keep cehcking the browser history.

I woul dprint out the browser history and show him and ask him to explain. Get ready to hear "I was just doing it as a joke... it meant nothing. I was just goofing around to see what kind of people would respond, etc." 

And please, get tested for STDs.

Cause you never know.


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## Geoffrey Marsh (Aug 11, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> You need to know what for sure?
> 
> You already know he's doing the searches. The intent is there. I dont' care what anyone says. You don't loko up hookers and escorts and get in dating sites unles you are looking for something.
> 
> ...



:iagree::iagree::iagree:

Listen...people don't browse escort services on a whim of fantasy...period.

Install a keylogger on your computer and confront him immediately about the escort browsing.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Oh and just wanted to add... get ready to hear "I never met with anyone."


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