# Those left behind...



## RV9 (Sep 29, 2014)

Murder and suicide over infidelity are nowadays common. Media devotes a minute or so as a juicy tidbit. We hear in the morning, forget till lunch. But what happens to those that are left behind? The kids, the surviving spouse - what do they endure, how long do they endure?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Ironic. I was just researching this topic. As painful as it is, I had a friend end his life several years ago over the pain of his wife's infidelity. He left behind a daughter. I should try and find out what happened. It was about 17 years ago and his daughter would be about 20 today.

Might have to see how she is doing. I had radical hatred for my friend's wife. I haven't seen her since before he killed himself. I was afraid of losing it.

He was the best father I have ever seen.
I am a friend that was left behind and I'm still furious about it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

The rest of their lives.


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## altawa (Jan 4, 2015)

I have a very loving heart. I have so much empathy for people in general. I am very sensitive to hurt.

At the same time, I have a portion of me that is dead to the outside world, that wouldn't care a bit about the POSOMs demise or who he left behind. I very hard, dark place.


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## Broken at 20 (Sep 25, 2012)

My mom, when we were on speaking terms, told me about the school she worked at rehiring their football coach. 

This guy, who is a decrepit old bag of shyt, worked there when he was younger. 
He hooked up with one of the married female teachers, full PA, and shyt. 

When her husbaned found out, he swallowed a bulet. 

She married Skeletor, even after her late husband was having his brains cleaned off the walls by whoever bought their house when they sold it I assume (morbid humor) and they moved to Texas I think. 
And now Skeletor has moved back. 

Mom told me, during the first teacher...meeting...whatever, she had the luxury of sitting next to the bag of bones. He was just sitting there, must've been thinking he's hot stuff, and he leaned over ot my mom, and asked her "Do you know who I am
?"

My Mom just looked at him, and said "Yes. I know exactly what you are."

As for the POS cheating wh0re of a teaching wife, she got some degerenative bone disease. Or something. 
Anyway, she is dying. 
And he is in no better shape. 

But I am sure the honry old goat bastard won't go out and cheat on her. Im suire he'll take care of her and not cheat on her.


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## jin (Sep 9, 2014)

I read that divorce for children can be worse than death of a parent. I'm not sure about that it would depend on the circumstances. Abandonment maybe because it is unintentional. 
I would think suicide by a parent and leaving a child behind is a terrible thing and worse than infidelity.


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## Locke.Stratos (Sep 27, 2014)

jin said:


> I read that divorce for children can be worse than death of a parent.


That does not seem accurate, how would one even conduct such a study. The study would require groups of children of a similiar age, circumstances, gender, background or what have you with the the divorce and death by suicide being the only differing variable. How do you also compare which is 'worse' since it can be subjective and is not easily quantifiable. Seems an unlikely and arduous endeavour.



jin said:


> I would think suicide by a parent and leaving a child behind is a terrible thing and worse than infidelity.


Same here.

Murder/suicides here are not that uncommon. It usually results from insecurity, jealousy and infidelity or perceived infidelity. Last year saw like a dozen cases. The majority were committed by men but a few were women. The crime is reported and the loved ones are interviewed but the story usually dies down within the month. It sparked a few protests on Gender-Based violence and harsher sentences for the other crimes of passion that ended in murder.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

There was a murder suicide here a few months ago. They were separated and the husband had told his wife if she ever brought her boyfriend around again he would kill him. The wife strung the divorce out and it wasn't done in four years.

The husband found out he had cancer. He killed his wife, stepmother to his daughter, and four hours later killed himself. He did not want his wife getting anything from his death. His daughter inherited money from both of them way over a million dollars and his business.

I have a feeling if his ex hadn't been such a b!tch to him she could have divorced and still been alive.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Chaparral said:


> There was a murder suicide here a few months ago. They were separated and the husband had told his wife if she ever brought her boyfriend around again he would kill him. The wife strung the divorce out and it wasn't done in four years.
> 
> The husband found out he had cancer. He killed his wife, stepmother to his daughter, and four hours later killed himself. He did not want his wife getting anything from his death. His daughter inherited money from both of them way over a million dollars and his business.
> 
> I have a feeling if his ex hadn't been such a b!tch to him she could have divorced and still been alive.


More than likely. When people are truly shytty to someone it seems to catch them by surprise when they figure out life is not a one way street.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## RV9 (Sep 29, 2014)

Chaparral said:


> There was a murder suicide here a few months ago. They were separated and the husband had told his wife if she ever brought her boyfriend around again he would kill him. The wife strung the divorce out and it wasn't done in four years.
> 
> The husband found out he had cancer. He killed his wife, stepmother to his daughter, and four hours later killed himself. He did not want his wife getting anything from his death. His daughter inherited money from both of them way over a million dollars and his business.
> 
> I have a feeling if his ex hadn't been such a b!tch to him she could have divorced and still been alive.


Never push anyone too far.. 

There was case here that was rarest of rare - wife kept running away with neighbor and coming back again and again. A year later husband strangled the two daughters and hanged himself.


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## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

ConanHub said:


> More than likely. When people are truly shytty to someone it seems to catch them by surprise when they figure out life is not a one way street.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



In that case, the bs is an immoral murderer. If a ws gets attacked for cheating, a bs who murders is on a whole new scale of bad. If neglect and abuse is not justifiable for cheating, neither is cheating justifiable for murder. If a ws has to own their own actions, so does a bs. A ws is told to detach and leave, well the same option goes to a bs as well.

There was this one thread a couple months back in the going through divorce and separation forum. The op had an emotionally and physically abusive husband so she separated from him. A few months later, she started dating someone new, and some of the posters on this site attacked her, while ignoring the actions of the abuser. Btw, she was in the process of divorcing him anyways. By that logic, if some bs did not neglect their spouse, their spouse would not have cheated either.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

RV9 said:


> Never push anyone too far..
> 
> There was case here that was rarest of rare - wife kept running away with neighbor and coming back again and again. A year later husband strangled the two daughters and hanged himself.


It ain't all that rare. Often times you'll see the betrayed spouse take it out on anybody thats not their spouse. They still can't quite focus their wrath in the person most responsible for the situation.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

I do not advocate or support violence against the WS or their POS AP.

But I do find the way people view infidelity differently than any other offense or injury truly shocking.

What I mean is things like the following.

One of the very few things a person can be executed by the UNITED STATES government for is treason...it is considered that horrid of an offense (and rightly so IMO) that the government will consider taking away your natural right to life.

But what is treason other than personal betrayal writ large?

In fact the destruction to the betrayed person and their children's lives can be near total.

If betrayal of the group/society is viewed so horribly, why is betrayal of the individual treated by society and the legal system as almost a non-event or injury?

Total logical inconsistency.

Same thing with POS AP.

If a person injures or destroys my life or my children's lives in ANY other way, they will be facing SEVERE consequences under the law...h*ll in many cases I would receive a reduced sentence, or even a refusal of the authorities to prosecute, if I took the law into my own hands for vengeance...for example, if a scumbag murdered or molested my child.

Why is a POS allowed to destroy a family by infidelity, but society and the legal system once again view it as a non-event/injury?

My point is that people in general treat adultery different than just about any other injury or offense that people can inflict on others.

It is not logically consistent with the rest of our laws and social mores.

And people wonder why infidelity is SO common, when there is essentially NO redress of grievance available for injured parties......and then these same people get shocked when some injured people refuse to quietly and peacefully accept the wrongs that have been done them.

The illogic and stupidity are rather astounding IMO.


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

I never considered doing away with my cheating ex wife. I preferred to pass her on to the string of guys she was with after she was done with the four or five guys she was screwing during our marriage.
She even lost the "love" the two kids she bore with two of her early studs had for her.


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

Dyokemm said:


> I do not advocate or support violence against the WS or their POS AP.
> 
> But I do find the way people view infidelity differently than any other offense or injury truly shocking.
> 
> ...



I completely agree infidelity is seen primarily as a moral crime and nothing more and as a result not much is done in the way of consequences outside of Shame for being expose but that implies the person who commits the crime cares if they've been exposed which some cheaters do not..


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

jin said:


> *I read that divorce for children can be worse than death of a parent*. I'm not sure about that it would depend on the circumstances. Abandonment maybe because it is unintentional.
> I would think suicide by a parent and leaving a child behind is a terrible thing and worse than infidelity.




Well that sounds like junk science let's see two parents that are separated but still alive vs one parent who is deceased and one who still alive I think 99.99 percent would pick the first scenario rather than the latter.


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## jin (Sep 9, 2014)

I can't recall where i read that. I have read so much trying to make sense of things. 

But I'm pretty sure it was death v abandonment. If a parent dies a child can make sense of it and understand. But if they are abandoned then there is no explanation that can be given to a child that would make any sense. There would be no closure and always a hope the parent would return.


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## Locke.Stratos (Sep 27, 2014)

jin said:


> But I'm pretty sure it was death v abandonment


Your original post was divorce (which is not abandonment) versus losing a parent to death:


jin said:


> I read that divorce for children can be worse than death of a parent





jin said:


> If a parent dies a child can make sense of it and understand


Adults have a hard time coping and coming to terms with losing a loved one so I'm not sure how one would expect a child to be able to make sense of death and understand it.




jin said:


> But if they are abandoned then there is no explanation that can be given to a child that would make any sense. There would be no closure and always a hope the parent would return.


The parent that abandons (not divorces) the family or the remaining parent could both provide reasons why the abandoning parent is leaving or has left. The child may be told a number of explanations that make sense, even if the reasons are horrible and selfish.

Death is final, it holds no closure and I'd think knowing that a parent won't return is much worse than hoping he or she would.


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