# Ladies, You and your man's kids



## Giro (Jul 31, 2008)

I need to know from you ladies. How do you want the situation to be handle by your husband if it comes to his kids from previous relationship?. Do you want your husband to take care of his kids, or do you want him not to see his kids at all? Will he be a responsible father if you don't want him to see his kid ?


Please Help, i have this situation where my wife doesn't want me to phone my kid, or my kid to visit me or my kid to visit my parents. And she wants me to take my kid out of the medical aid. I have a kid with my wife and we just got married.


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

well being a mother first before a wife, my children would always come first.
when my hubby and i split in april ( sorting things out now)
we asked the children what they wanted.
ok every thing has to be withinin reason, but we never had n e problems. but then i actively encourage my hubby to see his children, im not one of those that would stop him having contact. this is unfair to all parties involved.
i think you should have contact with your child. i think you should phone and vice versa and why should n e child be taken out of medical aid. its not a priviledge, its a responsibility.
your wife needs to get over herself. 
you never know what could happen in the future.
my cousin had one child from previous and also hubby had one from previous, then they had one child together.
honest, my cousin hated his child. its resentment, jealousy and all that. but as a mother with your own child together. you look after your own first. look what happens in the wild.
a female wil usually get rid of an extra to save her own.
n e way. a good few yrs later, her hubbys son was being abused by the mothers boyfriend ( sick goings on) .
they had no choice but to take him on and every moment for years was a loathed moment. it never picked up. but its very hard .


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## Giro (Jul 31, 2008)

Thanks for that reply, all i need is to see my kid. I now know why most of the fathers out there not suppoting their kids from previous relationship, it is because of the wifes and girlfriends.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

This woman is difficult. Women are usually by nature caring and love children. I would put your foot down, and tell her like it is. If you can get some couple counselling, I would go for it. Don't let your previous kid's life be ruined.


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## chrisl1977 (Aug 5, 2008)

While not exactly the same situation, my current wife had some issues with me maintaining a relationship with my previous wife's kids (not mine). She never stopped me, and eventually my ex moved away and sadly lost the kids anyway. If you're wife has issues with you seeing your kid then you should try to find out why, like does she think his mother will use him to get you back? I'd also flat-out tell her that you will continue to see and support your kid and she has to accept that. You two are a package deal and she knew that from the get-go. There's my two cents.


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## Mrs. Negestie (Jul 15, 2008)

Every child needs there parents in there life and I am little surprise that you would be seeking the answer to wether or not you should see your children.That is and should be a part of your life always no questions and if your wife cant accept that she doesnt love you because your children are a prt of YOU!!


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

Your wife sounds immature, unrealistic and ridiculous to make those expectations of you. If you left her and she met another man, would she dump your child you had together off with you if her new man didn't like him/her? Can she even empathize with your daughter and what she must be going through not having her dad in her life?

I treated any man I dated when I was single as a package deal if they had kids & honestly if I couldn't deal with the full package, I had no business being with them at all.


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

i actually think situations like yours at not uncommon.


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## GemT (Aug 18, 2008)

Hi Giro. I dont know if you've managed to resolve this yet but I have to say what utter [email protected] is she dishing out? I dated a guy with kids from his previous marriage and even if I didnt get along with them (I did fortunately) he would never have allowed me to tell him 'No you cant' - he would have shown me the door, his kids totally came first! Sometimes it was a little hard to swallow, (like he didnt want to marry me (or again) because he was afraid of how his kids would take it) but with the benefit of hindsight I can see how much his ex hurt him and so it wasnt hard to understand or forgive him.

One of the promises I have made my husband of 2 years is that if things didnt work out between us and there were children involved, I would never deny him access to them and I will NEVER badmouth him in front of the kids, no matter how bad things are. I also know he would NEVER allow the person in his life to deny him access to them either, me or anyone else. A good father can do no less, imo. 

Good luck.


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

Giro said:


> I need to know from you ladies. How do you want the situation to be handle by your husband if it comes to his kids from previous relationship?. Do you want your husband to take care of his kids, or do you want him not to see his kids at all? Will he be a responsible father if you don't want him to see his kid ?
> 
> 
> Please Help, i have this situation where my wife doesn't want me to phone my kid, or my kid to visit me or my kid to visit my parents. And she wants me to take my kid out of the medical aid. I have a kid with my wife and we just got married.


My husband and I are seven kids together. two are his, four mine, one ours. I can't imagine it any other way. 

I just wish our ex's would jump off a cliff


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