# Some advice needed



## whataboutme (Jul 29, 2008)

I am not sure were to start, I am 38 and feel lost at the moment. I have been married 18 years and have 2 children. My husband and I have been separated before, but got back together at the end of “04. My problems with my heath started in mid 04 when I was injured in an operation and as time went on thing got worst with my health, but it was like we were courting all over again for a good 8 to 12 months, but after my second major op in 06 things started to go back to the way they were before. I went back to work and struggled to keep things like they were before the medical stuff ups.
I just feel that every thing has been taken away from me! I can not do a lot of house hold tasks like I use to and have to nag my husband to do the things I cannot do and then it’s when he is good and ready! I get upset at this as I was a good wife and mother and he never had to ask me to do anything. Our finances are tight living on a portion of my wage instead of the 2 incomes and with my medical expenses I feel very guilty. We sleep in separate rooms; don’t talk much unless we are at each others throats Don’t have any Interment Relations as its very pain full and he has told me that it does not bother him, so we have not so much as kissed in 2 years, I feel so empty!!! and I feel we are living separate lives. He is in a band and is starting to play out more (every weekend in Aug) and I am left home by myself as the kids are of age to go out and have fun. I have begged him for over 2 years to see a councilor ( I see someone every week) and have finally got him to say he will go but that’s all talk and no action. I sometimes feel he is in the relationship for my payout, but I am scared if I leave I will be alone for the rest of my life. I love my husband and have tried so many different ways to get us to how we were before but I feel it’s very one sided. What should I do – should I stay or should I go?


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

what do you want a life so empty , if your living separate lives , what difference does it make n e way.
ok you love him. but sometimes you have to be strong and accept that you love him, but you have to leave him.
i think this also comes down to the fact you dont want to be lonely.
i have been in this situation with my hubby a few times over our 13 yrs. 
but personally and when i have been in these lonely situations, feeling empty. you get more from being on your own. get out. 
yes ok u have health probs. but so do lots of ppl. 
try and pick yourself up and get an interest that works around your ailments. it might actually help you recover.
but then im a strong person and i like my own company.
i know this is not everybody. but id certainly rather worry about myself, than pick up after someone, who gives nothing back.
i have actually chosen to be on my own in those situations.


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