# Am I a fool?



## antireallove23 (Mar 27, 2016)

I reunited with my childhood sweat heart after 27 years of being apart. We quickly fell in love and began a long distance relationship. I had been separated for a long time and decided that it was time my ex and I get divorce so I could fully invest in the new relationship. After getting the final paperwork signed on my way home while driving I received a call from my CHSH she apparently had pocket dialed me. She was right in the middle of telling some guy how she liked to have sex! I was totally devastated I actually got physically ill. After a few minutes I had to put the phone down. When we finally spoke she claimed she was talking to her friends husband and they were long time friends but she was talking about things long time friends should have known. Her story would never match the things I heard. Then she began to do these disappearing acts of not answering her phone or her phone would die or she would mistakenly turn her ringer off. I never made a big deal about figuring this a common problem with LDR. I thought all these problems would go away once we weren't so far apart. Once we both move and found work in a new location other things began to peak my suspicions. She was always on the computer and I started to notice she always went outside to talk on her phone and never let her phone out of her sight. She started to get a lot of texts and at all hours of the night and I asked she said it was her work calling about schedule changes. We began having other intimacy problems so I started to look within thinking maybe this was my problem not hers. Then other things began to happen like a stranger at a large get together to I should keep an eye on her because she was giving her phone number to all the guys tonight. Then weeks later she told me she was invited to lunch by one of the guys that from that night. She claimed he was married and she was just looking to make friends with other local couples but I ask to see the text and when she reluctantly agree the was no mention of his wife or me in anyway it was clear by the wording she was being asked out. I started to pay more attention to other things like emails phone bills and web history's. The work number turned out to be her boss who was calling and texting 15 to 20 times a day almost always when I was at work or when she wasn't home. I found a email from a former coworker about how he miss her sweet t****. Then one night when she came home from work at 1am, I told her I sent her an app for couples having problems she responded by getting her phone and giving it to me to show her how to down load it. When I opened up iMessage a message pop up from her boss saying that he got impatient and went out and got a 12 pack and asked if after work she want to come by for one. She claimed a bunch of them from work we're talking about this pumpkin beer and that her and her boss said that sounded good and he said they could buy a 12 pack cheaper and split it. The text was sent at 1030 at night and she didn't get off until 1:00 am and it just so happens he lives right next door to her work the company she works for owns both properties. She had just started a few months before this to work a lot of overtime sometime 5pm to 5am. There has been many more situations like the ones I spoke of that have made me what out but she always say it's all in me head and that she loves me and talks me in to staying. I'm starting to believe that it is all me and maybe I should just seek some help I just know anymore I'm just so confused and unfortunately waiting for the next thing that she will tell me was not how it seems...


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Way to many red flags to even begin thinking this girl is the one.....dump her she is either not ready for any kind of commitment or she is a cake eater.....either way I would stay single.


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

To clarify the two of you are not married? You could use many of the methods suggested in http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/209754-standard-evidence-post.html. 

You might want to read this link on how to protect yourself emtionaly Critical Readings For Separation and Divorce - LoveShack.org Community Forums

You should also be aware of the history of her past relationships. 

Finally you need to re-examine your past relationships; what was right, what was wrong, how you grown, and how you have not.


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## TaDor (Dec 20, 2015)

My wife coming home from work with friends after 1am, 3am, 5am drunk, etc... Things turned into pure crap.

How long have you been with her? How much is invested in this woman? If a few months, pack your stuff when she goes to work and leave.

And yes, they always seems to have an excuse for everything.

RULE: NO socializing with CO-WORKERS, especially AFTER HOURS!


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## 86857 (Sep 5, 2013)

antireallove23 said:


> Then other things began to happen like a stranger at a large get-together told me I should keep an eye on her because she was giving her phone number to all the guys tonight.
> 
> Then weeks later she told me she was invited to lunch by one of the guys that from that night. She claimed he was married and she was just looking to make friends with other local couples but I ask to see the text and when she reluctantly agreed there was no mention of his wife or me in anyway it was clear by the wording she was being asked out.


Isn't this enough for you OP? 

The stranger wasn't lying. 

Her behaviour must have been outrageous. He must have been really disgusted to tell you about it, as he didn't even know you.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

antireallove23 said:


> I reunited with my childhood sweat heart after 27 years of being apart. We quickly fell in love and began a long distance relationship. I had been separated for a long time and decided that it was time my ex and I get divorce so I could fully invest in the new relationship. After getting the final paperwork signed on my way home while driving I received a call from my CHSH she apparently had pocket dialed me. She was right in the middle of telling some guy how she liked to have sex! I was totally devastated I actually got physically ill. After a few minutes I had to put the phone down. When we finally spoke she claimed she was talking to her friends husband and they were long time friends but she was talking about things long time friends should have known. Her story would never match the things I heard. Then she began to do these disappearing acts of not answering her phone or her phone would die or she would mistakenly turn her ringer off. I never made a big deal about figuring this a common problem with LDR. I thought all these problems would go away once we weren't so far apart. Once we both move and found work in a new location other things began to peak my suspicions. She was always on the computer and I started to notice she always went outside to talk on her phone and never let her phone out of her sight. She started to get a lot of texts and at all hours of the night and I asked she said it was her work calling about schedule changes. We began having other intimacy problems so I started to look within thinking maybe this was my problem not hers. Then other things began to happen like a stranger at a large get together to I should keep an eye on her because she was giving her phone number to all the guys tonight. Then weeks later she told me she was invited to lunch by one of the guys that from that night. She claimed he was married and she was just looking to make friends with other local couples but I ask to see the text and when she reluctantly agree the was no mention of his wife or me in anyway it was clear by the wording she was being asked out. I started to pay more attention to other things like emails phone bills and web history's. The work number turned out to be her boss who was calling and texting 15 to 20 times a day almost always when I was at work or when she wasn't home. I found a email from a former coworker about how he miss her sweet t****. Then one night when she came home from work at 1am, I told her I sent her an app for couples having problems she responded by getting her phone and giving it to me to show her how to down load it. When I opened up iMessage a message pop up from her boss saying that he got impatient and went out and got a 12 pack and asked if after work she want to come by for one. She claimed a bunch of them from work we're talking about this pumpkin beer and that her and her boss said that sounded good and he said they could buy a 12 pack cheaper and split it. The text was sent at 1030 at night and she didn't get off until 1:00 am and it just so happens he lives right next door to her work the company she works for owns both properties. She had just started a few months before this to work a lot of overtime sometime 5pm to 5am. There has been many more situations like the ones I spoke of that have made me what out but she always say it's all in me head and that she loves me and talks me in to staying. I'm starting to believe that it is all me and maybe I should just seek some help I just know anymore I'm just so confused and unfortunately waiting for the next thing that she will tell me was not how it seems...


The short answer: no, you're not crazy, and yes, you're acting like a fool. She's got no intention of being with just you. You should ditch her while you still can.

Btw, how can you even wonder about this? It's so obvious your gf is after anything that walks, and her boss is doing her regularly.

She's not even hiding it partially well. 

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

OP- you have everything you need to make an informed decision. She sounds like the office and party wh0re.

If you are looking for a relationship where you share your CHSH with every stiff d!ck she can find.... then you are heading in the right direction. 

Assuming this is not what you want, time to cut it off at the knees with CHSH and to be thankful that she wasn't in your life doing this crap for the last 27 years.


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## straightshooter (Dec 27, 2015)

I do not like to cal anyone A FOOL, but you have more than enough red flags and proof you convince you that you are in an open marriage or relationship that you did not sign up for.

Until you get out of the naive and denial stage it is senseless to offer any advice or action.

She is cheating on you big time. You can take that to the bank.

Now the question is what's do you want to do about it??

Play ostrich and keep your head in the sand???

Or play hardball.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

In that you're falling for all of her bullsh*t and haven't dumped her yet, yes, you're a fool.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## G.J. (Nov 4, 2014)

Read your post and type a reply to it as though you were giving your son advice

Then act on what you typed...urgently


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

You're in deep denial. Wake up


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## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

She was cheating, she is cheating, she will continue to cheat.

You have no future with this woman unless you are willing to share her with any guy she meets.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

workindad said:


> OP- you have everything you need to make an informed decision. She sounds like the office and party wh0re.
> 
> If you are looking for a relationship where you share your CHSH with every stiff d!ck she can find.... then you are heading in the right direction.
> 
> Assuming this is not what you want, time to cut it off at the knees with CHSH and to be thankful that she wasn't in your life doing this crap for the last 27 years.


^This^
Run away as fast as you can.


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## Be smart (Feb 22, 2015)

Look at those answers my friend. They are short and all of them are the same. Time for you to move on and find yourself another,better woman. 

This one is serial cheater and she will never stop.


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## straightshooter (Dec 27, 2015)

You got the unanimous advice.

So what's it going to be?????

Fight or flight????


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## rzmpf (Mar 11, 2016)

Sounds like she tried to find someone who foots some bills while she continues to live her single life.

That you stayed committed after that phone call is astonishing, even more with her bs excuse. Not even adressing the ocean of other red flags you encountered.

Read your post and ask yourself your question again or pretend a friend would tell you that story about his gf. What answer would you give him?


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

This can't be real. 

Right?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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