# Strip Clubs



## Mom_In-Love (Mar 18, 2012)

In a committed relationship...

Do you personally consider going to a strip club cheating?
Do you consider it wrong/inappropriate?
Do you consider it fun? (I previously posted "Do you consider it awesome and fun?", but it sounds dumb, lol)
What do you think about porn vs strip clubs?

Whats your take on this in a relationship...?


----------



## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I think that strip clubs and porn are a personal thing between the people involved in a relationship, and only relavent to that context. In my relationship to my GF, she's been to a strip club (nude women) without me, and I'm fine with that. She wants to go back with me, and get me a lap dance.

If either of us started doing things like that and hid it, or lied about it, it's not "cheating" to me, but it's a form of dishonesty within the relationship.

My $0.02

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## 381917 (Dec 15, 2011)

Do you personally consider going to a strip club cheating? not if both members of the relationship are okay with it
Do you consider it wrong/inappropriate? In my marriage, yes. My husband wasn't into them even before we got together. I wouldn't have even gotten serious with him if he went to strip clubs even semi-regularly.
Do you consider it awesome and fun? Nope. A few relatives are/have been strippers. I've heard stories from their point of view and it doesn't sound a bit awesome or fun to me.
What do you think about porn vs strip clubs? I'm not into either, and my husband isn't either. I don't know if one is less gross than the other.

Whats your take on this in a relationship...? Both partners need to come to agreement.


----------



## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

Do you personally consider going to a strip club cheating? No. Just as going to a charity fireman's car wash isnt cheating

Do you consider it wrong/inappropriate? No

Do you consider it awesome and fun? No. Its cool. See good looking ladies and crack jokes with your boys


What do you think about porn vs strip clubs? Porn is generally viewed on TV or a computer (Except the live sex shows in Barcelona, fun times) and involves people having sex. Strip clubs are an establishment where men and women go to see naked men and women dance.


Funny note. I have a buddy that enjoyed strip clubs. His wife gave him hell about it. He says he started taking Zuumba instead.


----------



## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

You should have asked people to state their gender too.

In our relationship, neither of us would do it. I am not the slightest bit interested, and if he did it it would be crossing a line that exists for us. So if he went by himself, it would be cheating. If we went together, it would be a waste of time and money 

Porn vs strip clubs? You could write an essay on that subject. A guy can't go to a strip club and sit there whacking off while the girls dance. Strip clubs are probably more titillating in that way. Porn in itself isn't evil or anything. It's what it can lead to (chatting, meeting up etc) and the way people use it (replacing their spouse) that's the problem. Same goes for strip clubs and strippers I suppose.


----------



## Mom_In-Love (Mar 18, 2012)

*Kobo:* Do you personally consider going to a strip club cheating? No. Just as going to a charity fireman's car wash isnt cheating

Right, but I was not meaning going somewhere in it of itself, instead, I was talking about the going to the strip club willingly to look at the naked people.

*Kobo:* What do you think about porn vs strip clubs? Porn is generally viewed on TV or a computer (Except the live sex shows in Barcelona, fun times) and involves people having sex. Strip clubs are an establishment where men and women go to see naked men and women dance.

Porn is not just people having sex. I personally like the art of some playboy stuff. They have plenty of naked people that are not having sex. lol... from pictures to videos of just naked people. That is why I am asking along the lines of a comparison.


----------



## Mistys dad (Dec 2, 2011)

Mom_In-Love said:


> In a committed relationship...
> 
> Do you personally consider going to a strip club cheating?
> Do you consider it wrong/inappropriate?
> ...


What are your feelings?

Do you think there is a differance between Men's clubs and Women's clubs?


----------



## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

I went to strip clubs once in a while as a young man and my wife went at least once to see The Chippendales. We didn't have a problem with it then. I don't go anymore because there's no desire on my part. The drinks are weak and expensive and the girls are pests.
If my wife had a few friends that wanted to go see male strippers again, I wouldn't have a problem with it.

We both look at porn once in a while, so no problem there, either.


----------



## Beowulf (Dec 7, 2011)

I've gone to strip clubs a few times while married. Morrigan knows and really doesn't care. I actually find it kinda boring. I don't consider it wrong per se. I do think that it also depends on the person. If a man or a woman tends to lose perspective at a club then their spouse should have a problem with them going.


----------



## savannah (Apr 4, 2008)

For me, so long as BOTH parties are OK with it I suppose there is no cause to call it "cheating" .

However, if one hides it... it is, because they are hiding it knowing that it would hurt the other person... cheating in any form always hurts someone.

I posted something about what goes on in strip clubs in the social forum.. just to see what various people say- My H used ot go to them when he has a friend having a bachelor party-- At first I was not OK with it, but now I don't seem to care much.

Depending on your intention of going, it can actually be really just an innocent entertainment outlet-- Some people find it boring, some find it fun, some are addicted to it and loose all their $$ -- It really depends on the nature of it. Some couples go together even!

My take on it? If someone really feels like spending their hard earned money on watching naked women or pay them to dance for them, then I don't know who's fooling who! Neither one has any real intent - My honest opinion.


----------



## Good Dog (Mar 28, 2012)

Mom_In-Love said:


> In a committed relationship...
> 
> Do you personally consider going to a strip club cheating?
> Do you consider it wrong/inappropriate?
> ...


I've never been to one-I'm a guy--but that's mainly because my wife and I met young and were already in the relationship mode in those years when I would have considered it. I don't think it's immoral or cheating. I don't have much interest, but if my wife wanted to go with her friends or whatever I wouldn't be offended. I'm not sure how porn relates. I look at porn sometimes as does she. Now that we're in our 30s her porn use is increasing some while mine has dropped.


----------



## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

Im a girl. I have personally been to both womens and mens clubs...my personal experience was that the male clubs were much more into pushing boundaries and I didn't like it at all. I don't mind the womens clubs. My husband has also been to them, but really the only time we had gone in the past were for bachelor/bachelorette parties and when we used to run with a much more wild crowd that included a couple of pervs. I don't mind them but if my husband wanted to go there every week and make it a regular hang out I would wonder why. I have always considered them a novelty thing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## effess (Nov 20, 2009)

Mom_In-Love said:


> In a committed relationship...
> 
> Do you personally consider going to a strip club cheating?
> Do you consider it wrong/inappropriate?
> ...


I don't think going to a strip club as cheating.
Personally, I do think its wrong to go to a strip club.
I don't consider them fun, my anology is going to a restaurant and smelling the food, getting really hungry but you cant eat anything, but you still have to pay.
Porn v strip clubs can be different, they can be the same. Some guys use the two as a source of sexual excitement. Some guys consider a strip club as a thing to do with a group of guys, checking out the girls, drinking, laughing, etc. I've really never heard of that when it comes to sitting around watching porn.


----------



## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)

Mom_In-Love said:


> In a committed relationship...
> 
> Do you personally consider going to a strip club cheating?




If you're getting carnal pleasure from an outside partner, then you're treading that line to be honest.



> Do you consider it wrong/inappropriate?


Some people are OK with it if both parties consent. I personally don't think it's appropriate. 



> Do you consider it fun?


I'd feel like a creep to be honest. Something very desperate about the whole experience and I'm no prude, I just wouldn't feel comfortable in that setting.


----------



## SepticChange (Aug 21, 2011)

Like most people I don't find it cheating if the other partner knows about the other going or even if they go together. Inappropriate, sure...why go see the opposite sex half naked when you can get it at home but whatever...different strokes for different folks. I hope my husband doesn't go but if he does then he better damn well allow me to go to male strip clubs. I don't do this double standard bullsh*t. If he does it, I will do it back and his a$$ will have no right to complain. 

*takes a deep breath*


----------



## Love Song (Jan 16, 2012)

Mom_In-Love said:


> In a committed relationship...
> 
> Do you personally consider going to a strip club cheating?


 No



> Do you consider it wrong/inappropriate?


No i don't consider it wrong or inappropriate. I trust my husband. 



> Do you consider it fun? (I previously posted "Do you consider it awesome and fun?", but it sounds dumb, lol)


Yep. Have wanted to take my hubby but he said strip clubs aren't for him. And if they were he'd want to go with his friends. lol go figure. 



> What do you think about porn vs strip clubs?


I dont think either is a problem if both people in the relationship agree to it. 



> Whats your take on this in a relationship...?


 My husband doesn't like strip clubs or porn. I've gone to a strip club with friends. And I watch porn regularly. He doesn't care. It isn't being put above our relationship. And I wouldn't have a problem with him doing either.


----------



## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

effess said:


> I don't think going to a strip club as cheating.
> 
> I don't consider them fun, my analogy is going to a restaurant and smelling the food, getting really hungry but you cant eat anything, but you still have to pay.


bingo!


----------



## Love Song (Jan 16, 2012)

effess said:


> I don't think going to a strip club as cheating.
> Personally, I do think its wrong to go to a strip club.
> I don't consider them fun, my anology is going to a restaurant and smelling the food, getting really hungry but you cant eat anything, but you still have to pay.
> Porn v strip clubs can be different, they can be the same. Some guys use the two as a source of sexual excitement. Some guys consider a strip club as a thing to do with a group of guys, checking out the girls, drinking, laughing, etc. I've really never heard of that when it comes to sitting around watching porn.


This is similar to how my husband has described it. Why go and do nothing really but have to pay for it. Then he would say how he likes it when I strip for him...


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

We aren't into these things in our relationship, but I used to go to one in college (friend was a dancer) and once I took my boyfriend.

I wasn't jealous or anything...but then I realized I just wanted into him anymore haha...so what did I care if he got hard for other women?

This is when I was on my bisexual kick  College was awesome.


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

And to think of a bunch of guys drinking, watching naked women dance for them. Ew! :lol: Pathetic, imo.


----------



## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

Strip clubs are boring, expensive and completely pointless. I don't even know how most of them are still in business. Most people I know say the same thing. 

The only good thing about a strip club is that you can go, have a drink just by yourself without being looked at weird. You can't go to a bar and sit all by yourself like a loner all the time.

Cheating?! Far from it.


----------



## Nigel (Mar 14, 2012)

Never been to one in my life. I have a couple of friends who have been and they like it. I don't have a problem with nude women, I just think its a sad pointless exercise and I think the ones who are really being exploited in this are the men in the audience, not the strippers.How anyone can consider it cheating though is beyond me. It takes two to cheat and even if the man was willing, the stripper would probably just laugh in his face.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Kobo said:


> Do you personally consider going to a strip club cheating? No. Just as going to a charity fireman's car wash isnt cheating
> 
> Do you consider it wrong/inappropriate? No
> 
> ...


Ah ... I remember Barcelona. Good times. Go Navy.


----------



## Gratitude (Feb 12, 2012)

I don't have a problem with most porn as it's on a screen or in a magazine and untouchable.

Is going to a strip club appropriate? Not in our relationship. The differerence for me is that these half naked/naked women are real, and in front of you. Is it "cheating"? Not if there's no contact. But for me it is something I don't want him to go to, and he has no interest so it's not an issue. 

My husband prefers to go out with the boys to play pool or poker, camp, fish whatever ... and then come home to look at me. I don't see the point in married men going to strip clubs. You're married. For me it's tacky to look at real women within an arms reach taking her clothes off. Go look at your wives.


----------



## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

In a committed relationship...

Do you personally consider going to a strip club cheating?

It totally depends on the couples boundaries. It also depends on what one does at the strip club. Just watching dancers is pretty harmless. Lap dances are beyond my personal boundaries so te VIP room is straight out. So look but no touching.

This would be a tougher boundary for a woman to follow in many male strip shows as the strippers push the womens boundaries with speed moves where they break down the inhibitions by just man handling the women. The women can claim they were not in control. Many of the womens venues are packed with women so maybe a woman can avoid the action if she chooses.

The strip club is one thing, but these should not be confused with the private parties at some venues. I would not mind my wife seeing a show like The Thunder Down Under. But I would have a problem with her going to a private male stripper party where there was real raunchy interaction that is essentially live sex acts with audience particiaption.

Do you consider it wrong/inappropriate?

It depends. I don't like to go but on a business trip I will go and just enjoy the scenery and have a few overpriced drinks. I find it awkward.

Do you consider it fun? (I previously posted "Do you consider it awesome and fun?", but it sounds dumb, lol)

When I was 22 years old and single it was awesome. Now ... no.

What do you think about porn vs strip clubs?

Porn pictures and videos are not ineractive. Strip clubs are real people.  I am assuming that we are not talking about chat sites and web cams.

Whats your take on this in a relationship...?

My previous answers are in the context of marriage. I do not wish to disresepct my wife by having another woman grinding on me. Likewise I would feel disrespected if my wife was jerking off some male stripper or being groped by them. I see these as cheating. It does not matter that they are paid. The same thing goes for massage therapy IMO. Just because they are paid does not take away from any inappropriate touching or viewing.


----------



## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

kag123 said:


> Im a girl. I have personally been to both womens and mens clubs...*my personal experience was that the male clubs were much more into pushing boundaries and I didn't like it at all. * I don't mind the womens clubs. My husband has also been to them, but really the only time we had gone in the past were for bachelor/bachelorette parties and when we used to run with a much more wild crowd that included a couple of pervs. I don't mind them but if my husband wanted to go there every week and make it a regular hang out I would wonder why. I have always considered them a novelty thing.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Are you talking about male stripper clubs? If so that is what I am talking about. They really push the boundaries. I guess this breaks the ice for some of the women but it also takes the decsion out of thier hands. So it just happened to them. There must be some of that throw me on the bed and ravage me kinda feeling where a women feels taken by a powerful guy. Am I wrong?


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Male strippers would just make me laugh. ew...a man in tiny undies. Yuck.

And they make women touch their penises? Double yuck. They don't even know where that man's penis has been.

I'll just watch Hubs dress in the morning. Yum.


----------



## ARF (Jan 26, 2011)

It crosses a line for my wife, so I will no longer go to them. I've only gone twice with my buddies before i was married, and it was fun. You can't complain much about watching a beautiful woman take their clothes off. At the end of the day, going to clubs aren't that important to me so I won't cross that line with my wife.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Jeff74 (Feb 11, 2012)

Mom_In-Love said:


> In a committed relationship...
> 
> Do you personally consider going to a strip club cheating?
> Do you consider it wrong/inappropriate?
> ...


In my marriage my wife and I agree that going to a strip club would not be cheating
I do not consider it wrong/inappropriate in th context of my marriage because my wife and I agree that it would be fine to go
I haven't been to one in quite awhile but in the right circumstance they can be fun
Porn and strip clubs are very different but my wife and I are fine with both.

Years ago my wife came with me a strip club to see what is was all about.

Also, I posted this in another thread but I'll write it here also. In my opinion, if a guy is looking for a hi, bj, etc, then going to a strip club is a huge waste of money. It is possible that it could happen there but odds are not in favor of it and going to a private show (VIP loune, etc) is ridiculously priced to find out. Maybe it's from living in NYC too long but there are way more options that are cheaper and guaranteed for what the guy is looking for (massage, etc)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

that_girl said:


> ew...a man in tiny undies. Yuck.


Oh, TG - if only I could "like" this post from mobile... "A man in tiny undies" :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

Entropy3000 said:


> Are you talking about male stripper clubs? If so that is what I am talking about. They really push the boundaries. I guess this breaks the ice for some of the women but it also takes the decsion out of thier hands. So it just happened to them. There must be some of that throw me on the bed and ravage me kinda feeling where a women feels taken by a powerful guy. Am I wrong?


Yes, I was speaking of clubs where there are male dancers. Only went one time as part of a bachelorette party (not my own) and will never go back! First of all - it was total nude, no real "stripping" involved. One guy would be up on the stage while about 5-6 others were making their rounds in the crowd. I don't know if I was the victim of attention because I happened to be part of a bachelorette party group when I went, or what, but my experience was that the guys were NOT shy about getting right in your face, on your lap, and touching you. Towards the end of the night I had one of the dancers shove his hand down my shirt and grab my boobs, kiss me on the mouth and try to take my hand and get me to grab his [email protected] That is when I walked out! I remember looking back when I was storming out of there and the stripper kind of gave me this look like "WTF is wrong with you". I did not want any part of that. I think I was just shocked at how forward they were. I had been to female strip clubs before that and I assumed the rules were the same...no touching...and that you'd have to actually ask for a lap dance. These guys were just all over us. Yuck. I still shudder thinking about it.

I have no idea if other women have this fantasy of being "taken", but I think I seemed to be the only one in the crowd of 200 people or so that did NOT enjoy the advances.


----------



## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Wow! How awkward! I would not have been comfortable with that either... Full nude? Men? Swinging around and everything? Uhhh no thanks lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

kag123 said:


> Yes, I was speaking of clubs where there are male dancers. Only went one time as part of a bachelorette party (not my own) and will never go back! First of all - it was total nude, no real "stripping" involved. One guy would be up on the stage while about 5-6 others were making their rounds in the crowd. I don't know if I was the victim of attention because I happened to be part of a bachelorette party group when I went, or what, but my experience was that the guys were NOT shy about getting right in your face, on your lap, and touching you. Towards the end of the night I had one of the dancers shove his hand down my shirt and grab my boobs, kiss me on the mouth and try to take my hand and get me to grab his [email protected] That is when I walked out! I remember looking back when I was storming out of there and the stripper kind of gave me this look like "WTF is wrong with you". I did not want any part of that. I think I was just shocked at how forward they were. I had been to female strip clubs before that and I assumed the rules were the same...no touching...and that you'd have to actually ask for a lap dance. These guys were just all over us. Yuck. I still shudder thinking about it.
> 
> I have no idea if other women have this fantasy of being "taken", but I think I seemed to be the only one in the crowd of 200 people or so that did NOT enjoy the advances.


That makes me sick. I would not have even gone....eww! Did you feel violated? I would have.


----------



## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

Yes, I felt beyond violated! Actually I felt a mix of shame, disgust and embarassment at my own naviety. I really thought it was going to be no big deal and had no idea that male strip clubs were soooo different than what I had seen in the female clubs! I actually walked out into the parking lot crying when that guy groped me, because I had a boyfriend at the time (my now-husband) and I called him crying thinking he would be so angry with me since that guy attempted to kiss me.  I laugh about that now, but at the time I really felt like I had cheated on him or something, and I kept telling him that I felt like I was assualted because I didnt want that guy to touch me!

You know the thing that was really strange? The guys were walking around basically at half-mast the whole time. I don't know how you can sustain an erection for hours on end, they must have been taking SOMETHING, but even then it was like a fake erection...not like they were actually aroused, so it looked really kind of gross. Also their d!cks were like 12+" and I was like omg, nasteeeeeee....LOL


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Sounds soooo gross. Just seedy and nasty.


----------



## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

Well this is a loaded question!

Going to a strip club cheating - NO
Is it considered wrong/inappropriate - NO
Do you consider it fun - YEP
Porn vs Strip clubs - about the same. Porn only an issue when it's used as a substitute for real-life action and fun. Strip clubs are harmless (to me).

IMO (don't shoot me here) - more women have problems with strip clubs then men. I believe, just me here, that it's because the women are insecure and lack confidence about themselves so they feel threatened by the clubs and what they represent.

And, on a last and final note. 

I took my hubby to the last one, bought him a lap dance and got so caught up in what was going on that I had a kissing make out session with one of the female dancers!

Needless to say I shocked the hubby and things were rockin' at my house later that night! LOL


----------



## FrankKissel (Nov 14, 2011)

AllThePrettyHorses said:


> Oh, wow. You see, call me old fashioned, I would think swapping saliva with other people was cheating.


It's only cheating if it's done behind the other partner's back and against his/her wishes.
Doesn't sound to me like her husband minded very much.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

I went to a couple clubs when I was.. you know... 19-25. We had strippers a my bachelor party. (Which was a surprise.)

But once you start really seeing what it going on, who is dancing, who is hanging out there, its pretty depressing actually. It is not all as harmless and not the good natured escapism and fun that some will insist it is. I was probably 30 the last time I was in one.

Somewhere along the line, it totally lost all its appeal. I suppose when I grew up. (That sounds fantastically snobbish and better-than-thou, doesnt it? I dont mean it that way. Im just saying at some point, watching gorgeous women glide around, as gorgeous as they are, and pretend to be interested in your conversation, and do all those things that are specifically designed to get a 'rise' and a few bucks out of the encounter.. went from being amazing...to merely titillating.. to mildly interesting... to indifference...to revolting.)

I still know a couple guys (1-2) that are 50 that would go.. and all I can think is ...'really'? Go ahead, enjoy yourself.

Cheating? No. I dont know. It certainly says something if a guy is intentionally sneaking off to a strip club without saying anything because his wife would not approve. In that case - going out to play grab-a$$ and getting lap-dances still isnt cheating to me, but it is undeniably breaking trust - so is not that far behind.


----------

