# Busted!!



## Broken13 (Jan 7, 2014)

So I have posted on here a few times for advice. I appreciate all the advice I have been given so let me start off by saying thank you. A little background.... I was told the famous line "I love you but I am not in love wit you", as well as I don't know if I even ever loved you after 13 years and 3 children. My H and I have never had any problems in our marriage. Overall it was great and things go rocky August 2013 when I found out he was texting a female coworker and took a personal day with her. Everyone suggested an emotional affair which I know is now true. She just filed for divorce a few weeks ago from her H because of an affair. Now this past Friday I was told about an app through ATT where you can download text messages. Well I did and did it under my H phone number so that the messages came both to my phone and his. He has no clue since there were no alerts or anything to tip him off. I have been reading their conversations back in forth since then am I am just SICK. It all started Friday about 5pm and he told her he enjoyed the short time they got to hang out that day and they never stop thinking about each other ect. Then on Saturday he sent the text that hurt the most....I LOVE YOU! 
The conversation continued late discussing trying to find a place to live together big enough for their childen to come visit and stay at times and so on. Yesterday they discussed how maybe she can show up to one of our sons baseball games and I wouldnt know. She does not know that I know who she is or what she looks like. He left yesterday at 5:30 came home @ 10:30pm wrecking of purfume. Todays texts were that she doesnt feel bad he is so tired and thanks for dinner last night. She is 14 years older then my H. I am shocked but not shocked at the same time if that makes sense. My guy has told me all along. 

Now I want to confront him since he has denied this the entire time and as recent as Friday prior to me seeing the messages. He has no clue I know everything I know. The next problem is is that he shared with me that she is trying to take her husband for everything he has in their divorce, do I send him a copy of these messages? This has clearly been going on for quite sometime. Any suggestions would be appreciated. 

I am and have been doing the 180 for about a month or so. I will be filing for D this week.


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## jerry123 (Apr 9, 2012)

Just file and let them live their story book romance together. Best thing is, she at some point will just cheat on him. 


What's the app called?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

File for divorce and inform the OW's husband ASAP!


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## Broken13 (Jan 7, 2014)

Att Messages...


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## Pepper123 (Nov 27, 2012)

Yes, definitely tell the OW's H... He deserves to know. If you were him and it was your H that was trying to screw you over, wouldn't you want to know why? I would. 

Kudos for your legwork to date... I can only imagine how it must have felt to read those. You and your children deserve better...


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## Garry2012 (Oct 5, 2012)

The 180 only works if they care. Didnt work because he is already gone it sounds like. I am curious about getting the messages...I have ATT messages, but it is only for my phone. You recovered his messages with this app? Were they deleted off his phone?


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## Broken13 (Jan 7, 2014)

Yes they were deleted. I use the web version on my phone. Loged in under his account sign in. Now I see everything. He does care because he will not leave me alone. He wants his cake and eat it too. Well too bad buddy I am DONE!!!! He is a looser and Karma is a B


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## cool12 (Nov 17, 2013)

first of all, i want to say i'm sorry you are going thru this. it must be heart-wrenching to read their convos in real time.

second of all, i'm really proud of you for not caving and preparing to move on. that he is bold face lying to you is deplorable. i'm happy you are standing proud and kicking his lying, cheating ass to the curb.

oh, and share all your intel with the OWH now. he deserves to know.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*1. Get yourself to the lawyers office yesterday, and file, file, file!
2. Ramp up your investigation mode with cell phone, email, FB, et. al.
3. Go for full custody of the kids!
4. Get yourself an absolute piranha for a family lawyer!
5. Move personal items into a safe deposit box ASAP!
6. If you have joint bank accounts, take out only half and put it into a private account.
7. Change the locks on your doors and the security code on your home alarm system.

Best of luck, dear! Kick his a$$! And enjoy doing it!*


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## Rugs (Apr 12, 2013)

cool12 said:


> first of all, i want to say i'm sorry you are going thru this. it must be heart-wrenching to read their convos in real time.
> 
> second of all, i'm really proud of you for not caving and preparing to move on. that he is bold face lying to you is deplorable. i'm happy you are standing proud and kicking his lying, cheating ass to the curb.
> 
> oh, and share all your intel with the OWH now. he deserves to know.


:iagree:

Cool is so right, reading texts like that IS hear-wrenching. Just keep them in mind ONLY to stay mad. 

POS husband .......sigh.......... So sorry.

Love the investigative work though. I would never reveal my source though.


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## youkiddingme (Jul 30, 2012)

I want to encourage you NOT TO CONFRONT YET!!!! Begin making plans for what you are going to do. But keep on gathering information. There is no need to rush this. Once you confront it will become very difficult to gather any new information. WAIT. WAit until they speak of sexual encounters. Wait until you hear MORE. Please.....Please. It may take a week or two but more evidence will be worth the wait.


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## krismimo (Jan 26, 2011)

Broken I'm sorry you are here and you had to find out this way. You should definately confront, but he can still deny that nothing happened unless you have concrete solid evidence that it has gone form EA to PA. In which case you already know but I think you need a little more bits and pieces to show a bigger picture. For instance how long has the affair been going on? Etc etc. I wish you the best of luck.


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## 12345Person (Dec 8, 2013)

I hope this is Shamwow #2


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## Broken13 (Jan 7, 2014)

Thank you all for the words of advice yes I have my poker face on. I will not let this bring me down. I will come out ahead! I have a huge support system and am using it. The hardest thing is not sharing this info with my support system. I am continuing my investigation still. I know I need more. He's a pos no ifs and buts about it. He will be left with nothing! At the end of the day I know I've done nothing wrong and have been honest and true to myself. Guilt will catch up to him and he can live I'm his own personal hell he created. Ahhhh he's such an idiot giving up a family that loves him dearly (he's not spoke to his family in years..long story) for some pos home wrecker. All I can say is enjoy it buddy I'm gonna be just fine


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

It didnt send an authorization code to his phone?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## thummper (Dec 19, 2013)

youkiddingme said:


> I want to encourage you NOT TO CONFRONT YET!!!! *Begin making plans for what you are going to do. But keep on gathering information. There is no need to rush this. Once you confront it will become very difficult to gather any new information. WAIT.* WAit until they speak of sexual encounters. Wait until you hear MORE. Please.....Please. It may take a week or two but more evidence will be worth the wait.


:iagree: I couldn't agree more! Let the guy hang himself, then in the divorce maybe YOU can take HIM for everything. Let's see if he finds that so enjoyable.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Except that in many cases, proof of infidelity means nothing as far as "taking him to the cleaners" goes. Talk to a lawyer, find out what your options are and what you need for them. Then plan using that knowledge. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Craigthinks (Mar 16, 2014)

Don't tell him about the text message until you talk to lawyer, I may not be legal to monitor his phone. My lawyers said don’t do anything crazy until after the divorce.

Wow, I am 2 months ahead of you. I caught my wife, confronted her and they said they were just friends that were saying they love each other and nothing more. Then a month ago, I found her old cell phone as I got her a new one for Christmas and there were about 55 old message that clearly showed they were more than friends. The text message says He wants to move in with my wife and kids. AHH!! I caught them at his place with my video camera.

So I filed 2 weeks ago and in my state 2 month cooling off period and a 1/2 of all stuff is going to be spit up.

Get to know the laws in your state and see a lawyer. Or at least, a mediator to split things up.

See if you want to try to save the marriage. And if you want to go through couseling.

Remember: Most cheaters will lie, lie and lie.


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