# When Your The Dumpee: divorce, separate or wait - seeing lawyer tomorrow



## photojane (Dec 4, 2010)

I am the heartbroken abandoned one. It's been a week. He may be going through a personal crisis, or he may have just decided to hate the woman he loved for 12 years. I don't know.

All of my heart wants him to come home. Only a small % of my heart thinks he will. He has been clear, crazy but clear. He hasn't said anything other than "this will not work". No mention of divorce or legal separation.

I am meeting with a lawyer tomorrow. I have $ and assets that need protecting. 

I don't know if I should initiate the divorce that only he wants, file for a separation or take care of my $ and assets and wait to see what his move is. This is 200% NOT what I want. I am having trouble finding a place within me to be able to make this decision.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

The one who wants the divorce the most is at a disadvantage. I would not let that person be me. If he is motivated to divorce but you aren't, I would drag my heels. If there is a 3d party involved on his end, he will either tire of them soon or they will pester him till he signs whatever you lay before him. 12 years is a long investment and there should be a reasonable buyout.


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## photojane (Dec 4, 2010)

"12 years is a long investment and there should be a reasonable buyout"

What do you mean by this?

And why is the person that initiates at a disadvantage?


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## Intruder (Sep 23, 2010)

If he wants the divorce, let him initiate it. Protect your assets, but give it some time, you have alot invested in your marriage.


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## sbbs (Sep 21, 2009)

Protect yourself and your assets, but don't go out of your way to give your husband the divorce. If he really wants it, he can do the work to get it.


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## photojane (Dec 4, 2010)

Since I have never been thru this I guess I just dont understand what work is involved. Is it difficult to file? Expensive?


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