# Help! Am I delusional or is My Hubby being deceitful?



## BettyBlue (Jun 22, 2012)

Help, please! I don't know if I am overreacting because I am pregnant and surging with hormones or if something is going on with my hubby and He is being dishonest with Me.

Yesterday I found an extremely large amount of pornographic material on my Husbands phone. I am NOT anti-porn, I don't view it as cheating nor am I against masturbation. We have only been married a short time, 4 years in Feb. 2013. And along with the one that is almost here, we also have a beautiful 2 year old. In our young marriage, we have had more than our share of rough patches and thus far are still going. I don't want to give up on my marriage and break apart My family but it is getting harder and harder for Me to keep on going, when I continue to feel such disappointment and deep sadness. It's not even been a year since we battled through our last rough patch.

My alarm began over the type of x rated material He has been viewing, not that he was viewing it behind My back. The majority was male penises and males masturbating, which confused me a little and quite honestly, is still very shocking. My husband has never talked of fetish or fantasy regarding Men. Has never expressed a desire for a bisexual relationship that I know of. And is this normal for a heterosexual Man to want to view videos of Men and penises and Men masturbating? I don't know and hope a light could be shed on this for Me.

what drew my attention to all of these images was a search that he typed in his browser for *"longest penises" *, which I accidentally came across when I had to go into his browser history to bring up, what I thought was a video he showed me the other day, for our daughter. When I clicked on it and saw that I brought up the wrong thing, I chuckled to Myself believing that his search for "longest Penises" was him trying to see how well he measured up to other Men, not massive amounts of Men modeling, posing, and masturbating and ejaculating! Shock and panic were starting to set in and for the next 2 hours I did what I probably should not have, I went through each video one by one until I couldn't watch any more. I was in tears and beginning to feel very ill. By quickly scrolling and clicking i could see that the amount was almost endless.


So I calmed myself down and very quietly asked him "what was up with all the big penis videos and clips on he was watching on his phone. He looked me square in the eyes and said that he didn't know what I was talking about. Then started to walk away trying to drop it. But I couldn't, so I said "Honey YOU typed in one letter at a time the words "longest penises" and then viewed countless videos one by one. Some were only a minute long but some were 5, 10, 15 minutes long and so on. He stopped dead in his tracks, paused for what seemed like forever, then turned, looked Me dead in the eyes again and said "Oh, Yeah, Ok...I typed that in for some stupid guy humor honey. For a good laugh. You know." And then I said "yea...uh, I also looked at the one other specific search that You did when You typed in "funny Jokes' and saw the 30 video clips You watched filled with humor, by the way, not one involved penises. I went on to tell him that I watch only 2 hours of all he viewed but made it clear that that was more than enough to determine the content and probably His intentions. I explained that humor was def not the vibe I got from those x rated videos. Out of all I looked at, trying to understand what was going on in his head, only 2 were intended humorous. One was along the lines of "world's biggest ****" with a picture of our last VP. a few were hetero in nature, a few were of women masturbating but the majority was all male. None were male on male but I stopped short so who knows.

His reaction went from denial to this smirk. Then He walked over to me and very sweetly said" Babe, come on, really? isn't it just a lil possible that You are taking all this way wrong and overreacting because You prego and very moody and emotional. So Your getting delusional honey and picking on Me for having a "sick sense of humor?" "Honey, You are all I want, all I need and desire!" Then He throws in that he hasn't even masturbated in more than a year, because He is so happy and content." Takes his phone off Me and tells Me to stop being silly and thats it.

So I am left feeling confused, sad, disappointed, and not good enough. On top of the fact that I feel like he is being dishonest and very deceitful to Me because He didn't even try to give me a straightforward, honest answer.

So I am left wondering if, in fact, I am overly emotional because of this pregnancy and surging hormones and being unfair to him or his he just flipping His bs on Me to take the heat of himself. And I also wonder over and over if this is normal for him to b wanting to view penises like this. Do hetero Men do this from time to time?


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

I will let the hetero men on here handle the "is this normal" question, but it sure seems to me like he's trying to turn the whole thing around on you and make you seem crazy. I think your question to him is legitimate, given the amount of material you found.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

This hetero man has never done that, even for a laugh. Can't really comment on anyone else, though.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Nsweet (Mar 3, 2012)

Oh, c'mon! He's *NOT GAY *, he's just concerned with his penis size and looking to compare. $20 says he's been on penis enlargement sites. I participate in one of those forums and see pics and comments like that all the time. 

Though, the porn thing could be a bit excessive and lead him towards some extreme fetishes in time. Hard habit to break but weaning off of it and seeking more family comfort works best.


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## BettyBlue (Jun 22, 2012)

This is the first time I have ever reached out and I am grateful for Your responses. I love my husband and I can't help but feel that his response was as equally as hurtful as what I stumbled on. I feel like I am being used or Maybe He is trying to control Me with these absurd responses? I don't want to give up on My marriage. I failed to mention that not once have I denied Him or lost interest during this pregnancy. Just the opposite, My sex drive has been supercharged since day one and He knows I'm open for anything w/him. That's were this feels really hurtful...


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## BettyBlue (Jun 22, 2012)

My first thought was that He was actually comparing His Penis size to other guys, too. Thats why i looked cause He always acts so proud( and He should be, He is more than above average and very SKILLED). And I'm not saying He hasn't been on enlargement sites but I didn't find evidence of not one site like that that He viewed on any of our browsers. and those are some of the first sites that came up when I typed in "longest penises"? Plus that would have been an easy get out of jail card free card with me and he knows that...


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## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

In all my days I've never seen my husband look at male pornography, and he's bad with pornography....so my thoughts on this is, your husband is probably getting off on this stuff. In the case of the funny joke pictures he looked at, I would interpret that as him "just looking" at them to "test the waters" to feel ok about looking at more male pornography. About the way he's trying to talk you into believing you're hormones are raging. I've been pregnant a couple of times now, and the fact of what's on my husband's phone or computer has nothing to do with my hormones. Either way, I hope he can break out of it for your sake. I'll be praying for you for sure.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Mmmm, I could see him being interested in how big other men's penises could be. But watching other men masturbate is nothing I would be interested in. Not at all. 
You say he does this on his phone? Technology, how things have progressed!


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## Sporto (Jun 18, 2012)

I am sorry but no healthy normal heterosexual male wants to watch another Male Masterbate. There is definitly something up, and the comments he made was just to deflect the attention off of what he did. I don't want to say he is gay but he is in the closet about something.


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## Aristotle (Apr 4, 2012)

What is funny about this topic is, my wife has came to my job and looked up the following on google, "Is my penis larger than normal?" This google result stayed on my computer for coworkers to see. It was a joke, but still.

I am not gay, bi, nor have I ever done anything gay or bi. I have never wanted to have a threesome with my wife with another man (or women -- I feel any threesome will eventually destroy a marriage), in fact, the thought of a man near my wife disgusts me beyond belief. With that being said, I have gotten bored and searched for large penis, just to see, a huge penis. I have also searched for micro penis... probably for the exact same reason. I have went to a few websites that have endless videos, every single genre, random as thumbnails. If I see a thumbnail of a guy with a small penis (by himself), I will click it. I don't know why, maybe because it amused me or just looks funny? If it is some huge elephant trunk, I would also click it. I may watch the first 5 seconds and think, dang, huge. Then maybe I will scroll to the end to see what type of cumshot an elephant trunk shoots. I don't have a small penis or a huge elephant trunk, and to me it's pure curiousity. I don't masturbate to it, it's more like the middle ground until I found something that really got me excited.

Now, would I be proud of this? Hell no. Should I have even typed that up there? HELL NO. It's embarrassing and dumb as hell. I don't know why I look at dumb stuff, but I am human and if I see something that catches my eye, I click it. A micropenis radar?

Anyway, not many men will answer this one 100% honest, but I'd say there isn't a man who has viewed porn online that hasn't watched a wack off video, whether he admits it or not. It may not be for gay reasons, but they have wack off videos that claim, "biggest cum shot ever", "omg, smallest penis I have ever seen", "hugest penis I have ever seen", "omg, this guy never stops cumming". We click stuff like that, no matter how much we hate that we do.


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## Aristotle (Apr 4, 2012)

He is lying because he is ashamed and embarrassed. He would probably rather kill himself than ever admit that he did watch penis videos.


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## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

BettyBlue said:


> This is the first time I have ever reached out and I am grateful for Your responses. I love my husband and I can't help but feel that his response was as equally as hurtful as what I stumbled on. I feel like I am being used or Maybe He is trying to control Me with these absurd responses? I don't want to give up on My marriage. I failed to mention that not once have I denied Him or lost interest during this pregnancy. Just the opposite, My sex drive has been supercharged since day one and He knows I'm open for anything w/him. That's were this feels really hurtful...


from my experience, some men think that when a woman is "barefoot and pregnant" they can go out and play around/experiment/do stuff they wouldn't normally do when a woman is fertile and in her pre pregnancy state....because in most cases the woman in her delicate state, is looking forward to the baby, her mind is on the baby, and she is nesting for the baby. It's a vulnerable time for her. So in your case, being that I do think that this is abnormal behaviour for a man, and being that you obviously are not depriving him in the bedroom, I would think he's indulging in fetishes..


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## Nsweet (Mar 3, 2012)

BettyBlue said:


> My first thought was that He was actually comparing His Penis size to other guys, too. Thats why i looked cause He always acts so proud( and He should be, He is more than above average and very SKILLED). And I'm not saying He hasn't been on enlargement sites but I didn't find evidence of not one site like that that He viewed on any of our browsers. and those are some of the first sites that came up when I typed in "longest penises"? Plus that would have been an easy get out of jail card free card with me and he knows that...


Well how big is he? Cause I can go on a number of different sites and hear men arguing over the perfect size they think all women want. Although, women aren't that good at measuring by estimate anyways.


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## C3156 (Jun 13, 2012)

BettyBlue said:


> His reaction went from denial to this smirk. Then He walked over to me and very sweetly said" Babe, come on, really? isn't it just a lil possible that You are taking all this way wrong and overreacting because Your prego and very moody and emotional. So Your getting delusional honey and picking on Me for having a "sick sense of humor?" "Honey, You are all I want, all I need and desire!" Then He throws in that he hasn't even masturbated in more than a year, because He is so happy and content." Takes his phone off Me and tells Me to stop being silly and thats it.


This bothered me, the way he deflected the blame then followed up with some happy BS. He was busted watching guys jerk off and you are delusional? Sorry, I don't look up penises as "stupid guy humor" stuff on the internet. Stupid guy humor is a guy getting hit in the nuts with a baseball, not watching them spank the monkey.

My guess is that you stumbed upon something he did not want you to know about and he is trying to throw you off the track. There may be some validity to the "in the closet" statement.


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## BettyBlue (Jun 22, 2012)

Nsweet said:


> Well how big is he? Cause I can go on a number of different sites and hear men arguing over the perfect size they think all women want. Although, women aren't that good at measuring by estimate anyways.


:iagree: I agree that women are terrible at estimating a man's size and I believe that Men are( in My experiences, at least) are often harder on themselves than I am. My comment about My Husband having nothing to worry about is because I am in No way complaining about His size, He is more than well endowed. But I also know that He has never, not once, shown even a hint of low self esteem in regards to His size. I'm not saying that He hasn't measured himself because He has and has no problem saying so. He also has never seemed uncomfortable stating that He feels that He is well hung. And for Me it's not about how big or how small but how well You use it. 

I also do not believe that My husband is Gay and I actually do hope i am just being emotional and mistaking what He is/was doing. And if it is about Him secretly feeling some kind of way about His size. I wish I could get Him to confide in Me about it. And no matter what is going on I would never want Him to feel that He has to hide....


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## FormerNiceGuy (Feb 13, 2012)

Aristotle said:


> I'd say there isn't a man who has viewed porn online that hasn't watched a wack off video, whether he admits it or not.


Huh? I have watched plenty of porn - never watched a solo wack off video - cum shots, sure, but just guys and penises - no.

OP - I think your husband's activity is at least a yellow flag. 

What about these "rough patches". There is more to this story and you will get a lot better advice if you provide a better picture of what else is going on.


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## Posse (Jan 30, 2012)

No way I would want to watch something like that. If it were women masturbating, that would be a different story for me. 

I'm guessing a fetish or bi-curious interest he is VERY embarrassed about.

Everybody should be honest, but the truth is that everybody lies. The degree of embarrassment of an issue affects the degree of desperation most people feel to not get caught, and can lead to the extremity of the measures taken to avoid getting caught.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Did he save these to his phone or did you just see the links?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

If they were just links it could be he was looking at the beginning and then clicking to the next one to see the size. 
I could see a man doing that. 
I would still keep my eye open though.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

Posse said:


> No way I would want to watch something like that. If it were women masturbating, that would be a different story for me.
> 
> I'm guessing a fetish or bi-curious interest he is VERY embarrassed about.
> 
> Everybody should be honest, but the truth is that everybody lies. The degree of embarrassment of an issue affects the degree of desperation most people feel to not get caught, and can lead to the extremity of the measures taken to avoid getting caught.


^ This. I'm bi and I admit looking at these kinds of pictures.

How's your sex life? Because if he doesn't have a suitable outlet he's going to look for ways to get aroused and with a two-year old at home and another on the way, it may have been a while before his needs have been adquately met and he's using this for help.


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## Aristotle (Apr 4, 2012)

I remember in the library at school when the internet was just getting popular. They didn't block websites yet or anything. Guys would load up corny 80s hustler pictures and laugh (the original internet porn). If a picture of a solo guy came up, everyone would turn and yell, "Turn it off, turn it off, wtf!" Same guy pops up in the next photo with a ladies hand on his leg or something, totally acceptable.

Hilarious. The fear of catching the gay is strong.

If your husband has these files SAVED though, like video footage SAVED, he may actually have caught the gay. I don't really know why a guy would actually save anything.


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## BettyBlue (Jun 22, 2012)

diwali123 said:


> Did he save these to his phone or did you just see the links?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


?I honestly don't know if they were saved or not. I didn't go into his phone looking for them. They were just there. But on the browser page that pops up first, he gave Me directions on how to pull up a children's video He wanted Me to see for our daughter. but when I got there all these images were there, I was confused. at first I thought he was being a goofball. When I tried to go back I was bumped to a page that said favorite searches. And there were only 2 listed. One said* "longest penises" * and the other said *"funny jokes"* I clicked funny jokes first and there were 30 funny jokes, exactly. I skimmed them and they were funny, sure i saw a couple **** jokes and numerous other jokes just like You would find in playboy. Nothing to get my panties in a bunch about. So I assumed that the other "favorite" was maybe crude but just as benign. I clicked it and well, there were way more than 30, like I've already said. And as I scrolled I began to realize that these def were not humorous. And didn't want to believe He was viewing all of this stuff. That's when I went to His History and his phone has 2 options *recent history* and *frequently viewed *history. At this point I purposely took a good look. His recent history showed the standard sites he is on daily, like the weather, ect. , and also showed some of the video clips for the first few pages Of clips that I saw. Under frequently viewed history, sat ALL that I saw and then some. After I showed him history which matched up with his call log counter, he stopped denying and flipped it. See even though we r on unlimited call/data plan. His phone records each "data" call under the #777. and last Sat. he made a 7 hour data call while we all were sleeping but He doesn't know how that happened even though it matches his history date and times. Hmmm... R u thinking maybe these r pop ups and He didn't seek these images out?


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## BettyBlue (Jun 22, 2012)

Chris Taylor said:


> ^ This. I'm bi and I admit looking at these kinds of pictures.
> 
> How's your sex life? Because if he doesn't have a suitable outlet he's going to look for ways to get aroused and with a two-year old at home and another on the way, it may have been a while before his needs have been adquately met and he's using this for help.


Please believe me when i say I totally get were You are coming from. this exact reason is why i feel so bad, I feel like I am the problem not My husband. But not because of desire because I have not lost mine at all, as I stated earlier My sex drive has been super charged this entire pregnancy. Even when My OBGYN placed me on pelvic restriction due to a blood clot, I was even able to hold out for 24hrs. We made through the night but I instigated a full on session the next morning, I feel like a teenager with raging, lustful hormones surging through Me and my OB assures us that this is one of the "perks" that can happen during pregnancy. 

So I am left to believe is that I have become unattractive to Him. But when I try and discuss this He insist that it's just the opposite. That i have never been more beautiful, more sexy but I guess He could be full of BS on that front, too:scratchhead: I don't really expect to be looked at physically like I was prior gorged belly, but I wasn't even considering this path...That,s a whole other can of worms...


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## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

If you ever find out he's looking at the male porn for enjoyment (enjoyment other than comparing himself to them or laughing) what would be your first thought? What would you do at that point? (just curious)


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