# Is this a good match for a marriage?



## ScorpionC (Dec 6, 2011)

*Greetings! I thank YOU a head for answering my post. Here it is:

I am 28, Russian. My girlfriend is 27, Italian. 

I like lively, passionate, romantic, people-smart, with sense of humour girls. I found such a girl, my first girlfriend and "current".
She likes sincere, very intelligent, sensetive, with sense of humour, lively men. That`s me. What she does not like about me is that I am too analytical and some times too rational. While I don`t like her strong male side which is a part of her personality, and that she is slow to recover from changes and events in life. We have lived together for 3 years and had 200 quarrels. Maybe because she is my first and I am her third. We have never been bored together. She likes me physically I like her too to a certain degree, at least it does not affect our sex life. But main attraction is attraction of our minds. 
Now we have taken a break from each other for some time but chat through Internet like every second day. Break is due to very intense years of cohabetation. 
According to her and I can confirm too, she loved me with all her heart like no one else. While I am not sure if I love her anymore or feel strong friendship for her but for sure I loved her very much for the first 5 month till she revealed her sides I reffer above as negative. We are both confused right now if we love each other.

Main reason for quarrels were that despite her strong intelligence she refuses to reason - to find who`s faults are, motivations and so on. 

MY QUESTION IS: Is this a good match for a marriage? *


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## DeadlyNightshade (Dec 5, 2011)

I wouldn't rush into marriage if I were you. If you don't know if you love her, you probably don't.

The negatives of each other's personalities probably aren't going anywhere. A person can manage aspects of their personality, but those aspects will always be there.

You mentioned that you have a lack of physical attraction to her. I know marriage and romance is about a lot more than physical attraction, but physical attraction plays a part. You might start to feel as if you're missing out if you enter a marriage with someone you're not physically attracted to.

Sorry to put a damper on things, but these are my thoughts.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

ScorpionC said:


> * We are both confused right now if we love each other.
> 
> MY QUESTION IS: Is this a good match for a marriage? *


NOPE! Not at all! You both need to move on with your life. Especially YOU! You cannot just up and marry your first girlfriend! :scratchhead:


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## ScorpionC (Dec 6, 2011)

Southern_wife, you definetly don`t believe in soulmates and destiny, lol.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

ScorpionC said:


> Southern_wife, you definetly don`t believe in soulmates and destiny, lol.


How do you get that out of my comment? 

Soulmates do not question their love for one another, as you two are doing. And you make your own destiny in this life. I'm just saying don't put all your eggs in the first basket that comes along. If you're both questioning love right now, but questioning marriage, just keep in mind that any issues you have now, will only get much worse after marriage. A ring and a marriage certificate doesn't equal everlasting bliss.


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## ScorpionC (Dec 6, 2011)

Yeah, I had an emotional outburst, southern_wife. I made this post not to get advice on what to do but if we are a good match. As a X-chess player I want to know TODAY if this is a good match or not but looks like relationships are not like a chess game and only time and more experiences can give an answer.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

ScorpionC said:


> looks like relationships are not like a chess game and only time and more experiences can give an answer.


Your answer is here:

"We are both confused right now if we love each other."


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

No, it does not sound like she’s a good match for you. You are finding many faults in her. It will only get worse after marriage.


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## GreenandBlue (Oct 20, 2009)

It's really not for anyone here to say whether you are good match. However, it doesn't mean that you are a bad match just because you quarrel and have personality differences. Those things are mostly a given even in successful relationships.

This break could be good for your personal growth and understanding of the things that are important to you in a relationship. Search your feelings. Unless you love her and are committed to accepting some of her personality flaws, this won't work. Are her flaws deal breakers? If they are, then you should feel comfortable moving on.

Everyone has flaws and personality quirks.


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## accept (Dec 1, 2011)

GO AHEAD. Youre made for each other. That is the answer you want to hear and I agree. Wait a bit longer to marry but get engaged immediately. Things will sort themselves out before the marriage. She will change.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

accept said:


> GO AHEAD. Youre made for each other. That is the answer you want to hear and I agree. Wait a bit longer to marry but get engaged immediately. Things will sort themselves out before the marriage. She will change.


:lol: :lol: :rofl: :rofl: :iagree: :iagree:


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

southern wife said:


> :lol: :lol: :rofl: :rofl: :iagree: :iagree:


:rofl:


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