# That Moment



## 38m3kids (Sep 29, 2011)

I'm 15 months post dday.. wife had a short affair both physical and emotional with a married man. we have been married for 8 years and we have 3 beautiful children. Although I've let my anger get the best of me many times over the past 15 months, I'm glad I stuck it out for a while. More and more it's looking like I need to move on, even though she is remorseful and committed to saving the marriage. My question is more about others, not looking for advice for my situation.

Did you have a moment where you knew either yes I'm willing to re-committ or no it's over? Or did you finally just force yourself to make that decision?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I think everyone instinctually feels how they want to handle it: divorce, reconciliation, separation. 

I will advise not to make any decision when in the midst of anger. Emotional decisions are not good.

For me there was never a question about what I wanted to do.


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## Beowulf (Dec 7, 2011)

In my case my wife had and ended the affair before I knew anything about it and then came clean to me. I had always said if I ever found out she cheated on me I would immediately file for divorce. However since she ended it on her own and told me about it right away I decided to try to work it out. I'm glad we did but I think if I had gone through what so many here have gone through I would have ended up divorcing her.


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

If your 15 months out and not recommitting maybe you need to look at why. 

Before you make this decision I would get into to IC with a psych for a few sessions.


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## always_hopefull (Aug 11, 2011)

I knew it was over when I found out he was looking on POF. He did not register, but was "just curious". Apparently he thought that I was not meeting his needs fast enough, and he doubted "my" commitment. To me it was just an excuse. He didn't want R, he just wanted things back to the way it was.

I too am 15 months past dday, it's hard. D was finalized 4 months ago, and my exh just moved out a week ago. But thats another story in itself. 

My question to you is, have you guys done MC and/or done IC? I know I tried my damndest to keep this M together. I truly did love him, "did" being the operative word. I am at peace with the decision I made because I know in my heart all other options were exhausted.


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