# Men: What Can A Wife Do To Make You Happy?



## wifenumber2 (Jul 29, 2011)

Married 12 years. He is 52 and I'm 50. Second marriage for both.

What are little things that a wife can do to make a husband happy with her and want to be with her?


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

She can want/desire me in every way.

That pretty much covers it
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MeditMike80 (Dec 29, 2012)

For me it's two things. First, give me time to decompress when I come home from school or work. Second, engage in conversations with me instead of saying "ok" over and over again and making it clear there's no interest in what I'm talking about.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## wifenumber2 (Jul 29, 2011)

Mike: when a man needs to decompress and a wife does give him that time. When is the "all clear" so it doesn't look like we are ignoring you? BTW, I would love it if my H engaged me in conversations! Trust me I wouldn't ignore!


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## SaltInWound (Jan 2, 2013)

wifenumber2 said:


> Mike: when a man needs to decompress and a wife does give him that time. When is the "all clear" so it doesn't look like we are ignoring you? BTW, I would love it if my H engaged me in conversations! Trust me I wouldn't ignore!


My marriage suffered from conversation anorexia. He never wanted to talk.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

For me its attitude.
Having an overall caring attitude goes a long way for me.
I abhor indifference.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

wifenumber2 said:


> Married 12 years. He is 52 and I'm 50. Second marriage for both.
> 
> What are little things that a wife can do to make a husband happy with her and want to be with her?


I'm 45 and married 13 years. For me it's the subtle things. That she "secretly" watches me while I'm doing some kind of work around the house. Or the overt things such as when I walk by and she grabs my ass or tells me I look good in my jeans.

But it has to be heartfelt and uncanned. Also spontaneous.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Short answer:

Read "5 Love Languages"


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## wifenumber2 (Jul 29, 2011)

Love the 5 Love Languages. Figured H's was physical so I've been working on that at lot more


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## Leasel (Mar 30, 2013)

I sneak up behind my husband and start hugging him when he's doing the dishes after dinner, and I also watch him undress when he's getting ready to take a shower or change into his work clothes or something. They're simple things, and they remind my husband of how interested I am in him.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

Clean up and get rid of all her mounds of useless junk


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

wifenumber2 said:


> What are little things that a wife can do to make a husband happy with her and want to be with her?


The fact you are asking is already one of those. In manufacturing there is a famous study that led to coining the term "Hawthorn Effect" where the Hawthorn GE plant managers commissioned a study to determine whether the workers would be more productive with more illumination or less.

What they discovered was that it was demonstrating concern for the workers that led to increases in productivity, and that all sorts of changes like cleaner conditions or changing rotational schedules, etc. - just about anything you do in the interest of the workers is going to have a positive effect. 

Food is always good, like figuring out what he really likes and making it. Letting him see how you are looking on fondly. Telling him how much you appreciate him. Some here are going to go so far as suggest not just sex, but something that will really get him off.


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## Thoreau (Nov 12, 2012)

Be my friend...and let me be hers. 

The end.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Really, only your husband can answer that. No other man will have the same answers as he will, in the same measures.

Marriage Builders has some great questionaires you can each fill out for the other, telling each other your highest emotional needs, how your spouse is filling those needs now, and how you would like them to be filling those needs. You both fill them out and then share them. Like a marriage report card, and list of needed improvements. It is very insightful, and it (or a similar process) is the only way of knowing what your particular spouse's needs are and how they want them filled.

When my H and I first filled these out 5 or more years ago, our answers to the questions about how each other could improve meeting our needs were kinda lengthy. When we just filled them out again a few months ago, the improvement sections were very small! We had both listened and improved on every item on each other's surveys, which we were only able to do because we actually filled them out.

Here it is, you can just skim it over to get the idea of how the questionnaire works, but definitely do a little reading over there before you actually do them so you fully understand each of the terms.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forms/enq.pdf


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

Mine laughs at stupid my jokes and she doesn't save her sexy gear for GNO like some.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

Neverlet him think there is an issue he can't talk to you about. If he starts shutting you out of one piece of his life, that will grow.

Find out his hobby and talk about it.

Notes in lunch boxes spontaneous texts, physical acts of affection


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Belly full, testicles empty.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

JCD said:


> Neverlet him think there is an issue he can't talk to you about. If he starts shutting you out of one piece of his life, that will grow.


Learned that the hard way.So true.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

wifenumber2 said:


> What are little things that a wife can do to make a husband happy with her and want to be with her?


wife, for reference I'm the same age as you two.

You know that in reality you cannot _make_ him happy, he has to do that himself.

Since you have already read the 5LL book you do have a head start on how to express your affection to him. I will add as a man that I think the book really misses the mark by lumping sex in as part of Touch. I think sex hits all the love languages in some ways, and in another way it is it's own love language.

So I would say be sure to give your husband lots of non-sexual touch. Hold hands, lean against him when you're sitting on the couch watching tv, etc. Sex is of course recommended too.

A man wants to be _genuinely_ respected, loved, and sexually desired. So there is an obvious list of things to do and not do. Speak with him respectfully even if you disagree. All that great psycho-babble on communications is key here. For example, reflect back what he says. "You're saying that you think the 3rd week of June would be best for seeding the yard". If you disagree, don't belittle him or say he is wrong, just state what you think. "If we did it the week before that it gives us an extra week of tending it before we go on vacation. Even though it might not be the optimal timing for temperature it might work out better for us. What do you think?".

Give him his territory. His workshop, the garage, the yard, whatever it is let him own it. Don't criticize how he accomplishes his stuff unless it becomes a _real_ problem, i.e. dangerous. Let him seed the yard when he wants even if it is not when you would have done it.

Use 5LL to communicate love. There are a ton of great books about staying connected. Connection is imo key to keeping the love alive. "Getting the Love You Want" and the workbook have some interesting exercises. "Hold Me Tight" also has some interesting ideas. One excellent way to keep connected is to develop and follow your own little routines. Make sure both when you part and when you come back together you have some short time of undivided attention. Even just 10 seconds. A hug, saying you're glad he's home. Whatever fits your style, as long as it is an expression of your affection.

Sexual desire needs to be genuine, so don't fake it. I think the average 19 yr old male doesn't know any better and won't figure it out, but your hubby will. He does not want duty sex, and he doesn't want to be managed or manipulated by sex. He wants it to be fun. Don't be shy or embarrassed. I know at our ages we don't have perfect bodies, but that is no reason to hide. So have fun and be adventurous. Your hubby loves you and your body, so flaunt it. Let him know what you want and what you enjoy. Keep flirting and teasing like you did when you were dating.


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## Zig (Oct 6, 2012)

Don't cheat.


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## iamsofaking (Sep 4, 2012)

A little love, a little freedom, a little quiet. Every day.


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## keeper63 (Mar 22, 2012)

1.) For her to desire me, and show me that desire on a regular basis.

2.) To be honest, faithful, and supportive in her actions and her words.

3.) For her to take care of herself and be confident in her appearance.


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## Topical storm (Mar 30, 2013)

Good advice right here.

Dave Chappelle Making Your Man Happy- 4 Simple Things - YouTube


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

Be his biggest fan. I think most men will move the earth if they know they have a wife that loves and supports them.


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## john_lord_b3 (Jan 11, 2013)

wifenumber2 said:


> Married 12 years. He is 52 and I'm 50. Second marriage for both.
> 
> What are little things that a wife can do to make a husband happy with her and want to be with her?


Read all those "tormented sexless husband posts" here in TAM, and swear to herself NEVER to become like one of those terrible wives 

I believe one of our distinguished posters here (Mr. Unbelievable) has already summed it up very clearly: "keep his belly full, keep his testicles empty" :smthumbup:


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

respect my authoriti.......

channeling Cartman/


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## nothingtodeclare (Apr 13, 2013)

*Re: Re: Men: What Can A Wife Do To Make You Happy?*



Kobo said:


> ...she doesn't save her sexy gear for GNO like some.


This one kinda stung when I read it. Kind of applies to my wife.


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## Adex (Aug 1, 2012)

wifenumber2 said:


> What are little things that a wife can do to make a husband happy with her and want to be with her?


A wife that cooks, cleans, listens to me, listens to the things I tell her to do, has sex when I want and does things sexually that I want, doesn't talk back to me and is generally submissive.


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## MeditMike80 (Dec 29, 2012)

Adex said:


> A wife that cooks, cleans, listens to me, listens to the things I tell her to do, has sex when I want and does things sexually that I want, doesn't talk back to me and is generally submissive.


In other words, a maid who knows how to shut her mouth and do what you tell her too. See, this is why you're not really an alpha - you're to insecure to handle a REAL woman.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

^^^ Damn, MeditMike...I'm sorry to butt in, but that was perfect, thank you. ^^^
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## twowheeltravel (Feb 4, 2012)

Brag about your husBand and what wonderfull things he said or did for you to your girlfrieinds within earshot


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## Omgitsjoe (Oct 1, 2012)

Quite honestly ...... to make me happy I've always said to her to simply " **** me silly " and often  why on Earth would I ever want to hang out with the boys or look for another woman if I knew my sexy wife was waiting for me at home to do exactly this ahem ahem


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## Viseral (Feb 25, 2011)

unbelievable said:


> Belly full, testicles empty.


This

and quit nagging


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## K.C. (Dec 1, 2012)

Appreciate him for who and what he is.

Show that appreciation in a way he understands rather than the way you understand.

Pretty much exactly the same as how a man should "make" his woman happy.

We have to make ourselves happy first though. 

Not aimed at anyone here but, If you can't be happy with them as they are.. what the F are you doing with them and why on Gods green earth are you trying to change their character? 

Of course there is compromise in a relationship but, if that compromise is with the "core" of a person.. just do you both a favour and GTFO but do it right.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

With all honesty; her being happy probably has the most impact on me. Seeing her with a genuine smile and happy demeanor, hearing her laugh heartily and having enthusiasm and zest for life. Is the only thing that truly makes me happy. And no that's not mushy BS it is absolute fact. 

My mule is really hitched to that wagon.


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## Rascal (Mar 29, 2013)

I have it all. She is beautiful. She is 15 years younger and she makes more money than me. But, she pays little attention to me. She's gone all the time and when she is home she gives all her attention to our son. I have to bother her for sex and attention. For all practical purposes, I could be the butler and the baby sitter.

I am getting ready to leave her. 

So there you go. I married a woman to have a companion, a friend and a lover. 

I got a roommate.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Love me in a way that I know you love me.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

SaltInWound said:


> My marriage suffered from conversation anorexia. He never wanted to talk.


My first wife (the betrayer) always said the same thing yet we talked and talked. She always felt like we had to have these meaningful deep discussions or it was a waste of time.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

At my age (50's) all I want is a calm peaceful home and some respect and wanting to have a fun time.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

My wife knows what turns me on...and when she purposely does these little things to tease me or get my attention, I really feel happy and loved. Simple acts mean a lot to both of us...just like surprising her with flowers or positive post-it notes when she least expects it...or taking her to her favorite resturante for dinner just because.


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## twowheeltravel (Feb 4, 2012)

A wife that takes pride in her appearance and her home. That she chooses to love and respect me and not just because she is supposed to. I don't have that yet now that I am divorced but I would like to find that in the next partner.


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

Rascal said:


> I have it all. She is beautiful. She is 15 years younger and she makes more money than me. But, she pays little attention to me. She's gone all the time and when she is home she gives all her attention to our son. I have to bother her for sex and attention. For all practical purposes, I could be the butler and the baby sitter.
> 
> I am getting ready to leave her.
> 
> ...


You'll find the 18 year old nanny/mistress will stave off the need for divorce.


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## dsGrazzl3D (Apr 22, 2013)

To have a happy and healthy relationship you need to DAILY work on 3 things; 

1- Honesty (nothing else to say that others here haven't already said on this topic)
2- Respect (You must respect yourself and you must give him the respect he desires and needs from his wife. I don't mean to be submissive to where you can not respect yourself here, but you must find your line of where respect for him and you can grow)
3- COMMUNICATE!!! If you can not communicate, talk, be intimate and use your body, mind, and soul to connect to your spouse, then your relationship will surely fracture and become unstable.


I try to live be a few favorite quotes that you may find relevant, or not...
STILL;
1- Actions speaks louder than words 
2- If you can NOT LEARN from history, then you are doomed to repeat it 
3- YES FROM KUNG-FU PANDA Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift, which is why we call it PRESENT


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## joshbjoshb (Jul 11, 2011)

wifenumber2 said:


> Married 12 years. He is 52 and I'm 50. Second marriage for both.
> 
> What are little things that a wife can do to make a husband happy with her and want to be with her?


This threads are the ones I love the most! It gives me the option to imagine WHAT IF my wife would ever have this question!

But I guess the answer boils down to what I see as the main function of wife (vs woman or mother) in a marriage:

1. Nurture. Show that you take care of my little physical needs, make me lunch, think of a special food that I like, etc.

2. Show me that I can make you feel good and how much you like it.

I know no. 2 sounds funny for most ladies, but I believe it's true by most men!


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Stonewall said:


> With all honesty; her being happy probably has the most impact on me. Seeing her with a genuine smile and happy demeanor, hearing her laugh heartily and having enthusiasm and zest for life. Is the only thing that truly makes me happy. And no that's not mushy BS it is absolute fact.
> 
> My mule is really hitched to that wagon.



You sound like my SO with these thoughts I read them and smiled bc it's very close to things he has said to me when I ask him what he needs in order to be happy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

For every action there is an equil action

Be into me as much as I am into you

Want me as much as I want you

Need me as much as I need you

Love me as much as I love you

Desire me as much as I desire you

Communicate to me as much as I communicate with you


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