# feeling left and depressed



## Inquestion (Feb 11, 2015)

I been with my wife for 10 years married for 8. We have 2 children together The last couple years she has lost all urges to make love. She seems happy as ever but I feel lonely and sad all the time. I am incredible at hiding it. I have had talks with her trying to understand what has happened And most of the time she gets sharp and starts yelling.She has even went to her Dr and came back with the answer that it's all normal. I just can't get how it's normal. all I want to do is make love to my wife and there are a million reasons to say no. I would never cheat on my wife but frustrated enough. I have been day dreaming of leaving to maybe have a chance at being happy. Today I have to stop and swallow down all the anger of feeling alone in the relationship. It has come down to being business partners in raising children. Is it worth it to hang in there? Because all of this is affecting aspects of my life such as work performance. Thank you for reading.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

How old are the kids?


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Inquestion said:


> I been with my wife for 10 years married for 8. We have 2 children together The last couple years she has lost all urges to make love. She seems happy as ever but I feel lonely and sad all the time. I am incredible at hiding it. I have had talks with her trying to understand what has happened And most of the time she gets sharp and starts yelling.
> 
> ...this is affecting aspects of my life such as work performance.


Sounds fairly common. As such, you are not alone, there are many good books out there that can provide you with insights into the "typical" reasons for your situation.

Examples of good books that might teach you what the problem is and how to deal with it, include:

MW Davis Divorce Busting
Glover, No More Mr. Nice Guy
Chapman, 5 Languages of Love.

Part of the typical problem is that after 2 kids and say 7 or so years most of the lust leaves a marriage and then the aspects of how you take care of each other and if each of you is focusd on making their partner feel loved, start to become very important. Often one partner will not give the other what they need emotionally, that will cause the other to emotionally withdraw, then the sex will go to heck and the other partner will emotionally withdraw from the marriage.

Good luck.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

What would you estimate as your frequency?


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## seattle_stranger (Nov 4, 2014)

If she resorts to yelling very easily, she's got something she's hiding, like an insecurity of some sort. Defensive behavior tells quite a tale.


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## EnigmaGirl (Feb 7, 2015)

I would never stay in a sexless marriage.

If my partner had some kind of physical problem with normal sex, I would be ok with having some other form of sexual fulfillment.

But no affection and no sex....I'd be divorced in a month. No way in hell I'd tolerate that.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

People don't change without consequences. If you aren't willing to leave it will never change. Read up on this and other sites. The most effective way to wake her up is to start getting ready to go. Most guys who stay doing the same stuff get more of the same result.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

If she starts yelling when "pressured" then you may have other problems to worry about... How's her overall emotional stability?


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

It may be somewhat common but its not 'normal'. Bull manure


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## naiveonedave (Jan 9, 2014)

read mmslp


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Read neuklas's thread.


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