# Happy Anniversay



## 13years (Apr 6, 2009)

*Happy Anniversary*

Today is my 13th wedding anniversary. I have not bought a gift or a card for my spouse as I do not feel like celebrating.

About 2 years ago I found out my husband had rung up over 20K in credit card debt. I never did find out exactly where all the money went except his excuse that he just sucks at managing money. He went to extreme measures to hide it including stopping the mail when he went out of town. We almost got divorced over it but managed to work it out after I loaded eblaster (pretty much emails you every key stroke) on his computer and felt confident he was not having an affair or into drugs. In the end he told his parents it was me that spent all the money so now it makes it very hard to be around them and I cannot believe he would rather them think it was me.

I took over all the bills after this mess. I own my own successful business and after working my butt off (60 hour weeks) I managed to get us back out of debt and even save a little. He keeps $1600 monthly from his paychecks and all he has to pay for is gas. I pay EVERYTHING else. We did this so he would not feel like I control everything which he has often complained about. Last month I found out he has been bouncing checks monthly and has rung up another $1000 in credit card debt. Not even close to 2 years ago but impossible to ignore. I confronted him and we have not spoke for over a week then today he gives me roses and a card saying we should spend today "our wedding anniversary" to rebuild our relationship and stop bringing up the past. 

WHAT???? 

I feel like I should try to make things work for our 2 kids (11 and 6) but feel like if I try to work any further I am just a complete idiot. My husband is 6 years older than I am. We were married when I was 24 and he was 30. I looked up to him. Over the years somehow I became the responsible financial rock of the family. In addition to my hectic work week and the one responsible for the bills I also get to make sure the kids are up and off to school on time, pick them up each day, cook dinner each night, do all the grocery shopping and make sure repairs are completed around the house.

I am wore out and think this might just be easier on my own. 

My biggest worry is my 11 year old son that idolizes his father. I don't want him to hate me but I also don't want him growing up thinking it is ok to treat your wife this way.

Any advice is appreciated.


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