# have the courage to follow your heart and intuition



## dreamchsr (Jan 6, 2012)

wow, what a great site. very nice to see so many people out there with similar stories....well, nice to know i am not alone. this site has inspired me to write out my story and ask for advice from others.
i have been married for 15 yrs. and have 3 children under the age of 9. i will try to spare saying too much bc i could probably go on forever with my story. basically what it all boils down to is that i no longer love my husband. we don't communicate and have zero intimacy. it has been bad for a long time. i have been doing a lot of soul searching over the past months and maybe the signs have been there all along. our sex life started out incredible when we were dating....couldn't get enough. not sure when exactly it took a turn but we have sex maybe 8 times a YEAR (and it's followed by a night out drinking) yes, a year! i am a very attractive fit woman with an outstanding personality (not trying to sound conceited) and a lot of people are attracted to me.....not my husband. this has been going on for a long time. i have just learned to live without sex i guess.
my husband lost his job a few years ago and fortunately i have a great job and can support the family. i have given him the freedom to find what he wants to do. he decided to choose an artistic hobby that he enjoys and turn it into a "business". it is a very slow business and he doesn't really do much to promote it but i have supported him with zero guilt. he ended up pretty depressed over the past couple of years and finally saw his doctor and got anti depressants. he has been super angry and moody over the past several months and everything is stressful around the house. i noticed he was receiving a lot of texts and of course his phone is always locked. sparing the full story here, i know that he is texting w/ two different woman....one that i know. when i confronted him he insists that they are friends that he can talk to since he and i can't talk. i am sure there is some sort of emotional affair going on but he won't admit it. really, i don't even care bc i just want out! someone i have known for a year started to text me. it has now turned into a full blown affair and yes i am cheating on my husband and want to be with this guy. the sad part is that i don't feel bad about it. i am worried about next steps and don't think a seperation even makes sense....it's like we have been seperated for years already. we make a good team when things need to get done but we are not good teammates. He suddenly thinks that he is trying in our marriage by telling me i look good here and there and trying to hug me and that everything will be my fault. i can't just flick a switch and love h im again. i am as cold as ice and don't want to work on things....we have been down this road before. i am super worried about my kids and the logistics behind everything. my family is going to flip! i will have to put everything in place otherwise we will be together forever in the same situation. i just want to be happy! everyone thinks we are such a great couple and that he's such a great catch....it's maddening. am i not trying hard enough? is it obvious to others? is my marriage a joke? just some confirmation or advice from others would be great. i know this happens everyday but when it's happening to you it's different. thanks in advance.


----------



## NEW YEAR (Jan 5, 2012)

I filed for divorce after 10 tears of marriage bc i felt the same way you do, empty, no sex and no communication, we both allowed the distance between us and it broke us. I tried for 2 years contemplateing the whole situation before filing. he had many chances to get it together and nothing happened. now after being divorced for 2 years, he wants to see if we can make it work. I hope to get into some sort of relationship therapy to learn how to find us again, its worth a try. we do get along now and spend time together with our two boys. I dont feel i gave up, i just couldnt take it anymore feeling empty. everyone thought we were a great couple to. I think people see that and its valid. I think you two should get invloved in some relationship therapy to learn how to talk to each other again. men need to learn how to talk and get to know what means a lot to you. I feel im in the same boat as you and im trying to find a place we can go see someone. good luck and best wish's,


----------



## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

im sorry to say that most people on TAM do not condone infidelity. despite the fact you are not happy (alot of us arent). not trying to judge you or play holier than thou. you should come clean with your husband and divorce him, and move on with your life, and let him too.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Ok so file for divorce and be done. Tell him you've been cheating too.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------

