# Dirty sense of humor at work



## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

When a women co-worker has a dirty sense of humor... does this make you uncomfortable? Do you like it? Does it matter how old and attractive she is?


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

And the reason I ask is because I have a dirty sense of humor. I’m single and I like to flirt with other single male co-workers even if it’s just for fun. It makes the job more interesting. 
Then I was in the OR (operating room) with his one nurse who was super perverted, and not to be mean but she is not attractive and older, and the way she carried herself was very gross and unattractive so I was thinking I hope I don’t come off that way.


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## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

I would get a kick out of it. But you are right in what you are trying to say. The 'image' of the person delivering the jokes definitely improves/hinders the delivery of the message.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

katiecrna said:


> And the reason I ask is because I have a dirty sense of humor. I’m single and I like to flirt with other single male co-workers even if it’s just for fun. It makes the job more interesting.
> Then I was in the OR (operating room) with his one nurse who was super perverted, and not to be mean but she is not attractive and older, and the way she carried herself was very gross and unattractive so I was thinking I hope I don’t come off that way.


I would love it. 

But you should stop, and yesterday. I was like you early in my career, and it got me in hot water with one of my co-worker's. My boss pulled me aside and told me I was an inch from a sexual harassment complaint to the HR department. It today's climate, I have no doubt that's exactly what would have happened.

As a woman, you might be "protected" a bit more from someone else's #MeToo moment, but I wouldn't count on it. It may cost you your job one day.


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## Sbrown (Jul 29, 2012)

katiecrna said:


> When a women co-worker has a dirty sense of humor... does this make you uncomfortable? Do you like it? Does it matter how old and attractive she is?


Having almost lost a job over a lady with a "dirty sense of humor" I avoid them at all costs. I will only speak to them about work. 

Sent from my Moto Z (2) using Tapatalk


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

I don't like men or women with a dirty sense of humour, and flirting isn't usually advisable. They may not be married but they may be dating. Keep work professional is my advise.


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

I love a good dirty joke, but only in a non-work setting. I'm just too high up the food chain here and don't need any problems so I avoid anything that could cause trouble.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Agreed. Nothing wrong with dirty jokes away from work, but at work the boundary between "dirty joke" and "harassment" is much too fuzzy. 

If I hear one, I'll nicely warn people. If I hear it again, I won't be so nice (but so far that hasn't happened).




Bananapeel said:


> I love a good dirty joke, but only in a non-work setting. I'm just too high up the food chain here and don't need any problems so I avoid anything that could cause trouble.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

Dirty humor doesn't bother me, but I insist on a level playing field in the workplace and have been a bastard about it in the past. In the "Mad Men" days of yore, men could/were expected to joke about all sorts of dirty stuff but women couldn't get away w/ it. That was wrong, but so are all double standards.

I think it is ageist to accept humor from a young woman you don't from an old one. This is no different than the Mad Men days.

Many years ago in my workplace some of the older men called women "dear" or something similar and they were ordered to stop. Occasonally older women would call me something similar, and I would call them on it b/c it was a double standard.

So if I had a workplace that allowed dirty humor from everyone, that would be fine by me. I don't, so I don't want anyone to get away w/ it.


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## I shouldnthave (Apr 11, 2018)

Completely and totally inappropriate in professional setting where I work. 

No one ever goes there, we don't talk about sex, joke about it, flirt etc in my office. As far as I know, everyone is celibate, and to keep things professional, it will stay that way.


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

I can hardly believe that you'd even need to ask if it's okay or not, in light of all the sexual harassment crap that's been going on lately in Hollywood etc. and the #Metoo movement.

Equal rights are equal rights. It's just as wrong for a woman to behave this way as it is for a man to.

It's gross for an older woman [or man] to joke about sex because [having lost most of their looks], the thought of them having sex isn't the most attractive thought. But, that isn't the reason you shouldn't behave this way. She's wrong, you're wrong. Because it's work and you should behave professionally.

It's a no-brainer.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

I think that people who are inappropriate always find their way to another inappropriate person. Like when I hear a guy say something inappropriate my antenna goes up.
And then we look across the way and we make eye contact and it’s a hey I’m a pervert too. And it’s fate.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

notmyrealname4 said:


> I can hardly believe that you'd even need to ask if it's okay or not, in light of all the sexual harassment crap that's been going on lately in Hollywood etc. and the #Metoo movement.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




It’s not a no brainer. It’s a no brainer to do it to someone who isnt into it.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

But if your single... and looking for some excitement at work I don’t think there is anything wrong with that we long as there are two willing parties and we aren’t making anyone uncomfortable.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

I shouldnthave said:


> Completely and totally inappropriate in professional setting where I work.
> 
> 
> 
> No one ever goes there, we don't talk about sex, joke about it, flirt etc in my office. As far as I know, everyone is celibate, and to keep things professional, it will stay that way.




My work is not like that at all.


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## I shouldnthave (Apr 11, 2018)

katiecrna said:


> I think that people who are *inappropriate* always find their way to another inappropriate person. Like when I hear a guy say something inappropriate my antenna goes up.
> And then we look across the way and we make eye contact and it’s a hey I’m a pervert too. And it’s fate.


"Inappropriate" talk, is well..... inappropriate at work. 



katiecrna said:


> But if your single... and *looking for some excitement at work* I don’t think there is anything wrong with that we long as there are two willing parties and we aren’t making *anyone uncomfortable*.


Generally managers etc do not take kindly to employees wanting to make "excitement" at work, especially in the way of innapproiate talk. 

And how do you know you are not making anyone else uncomfortable? For all you know, someone might be waiting for you to say one more thing before they go to management. 



katiecrna said:


> My work is not like that at all.


At the moment, they may learn the hard way that it is important to create a professional atmosphere at work. 

Also, you can't count on working there forever, or having the same boss etc. You may be in for a rude awakening if you have to work in a professional place, where flirting and inappropriate talk about sex is not tolerated.

Basically right now - your "dirty sense of humor" is a liability. A ticking time bomb of saying the wrong thing in front of the wrong person, and it could end up quite costly for your company, and you.


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

katiecrna said:


> But if your single... and looking for some excitement at work I don’t think there is anything wrong with that we long as there are two willing parties and we aren’t making anyone uncomfortable.




Your work (in an operating theater, no less) is not a singles bar. You shouldn't be "looking for some excitement". Isn't the patient you're about to carve into "excitement" enough?


Keep your personal life and sex drive out of the workplace.


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

katiecrna said:


> But if your single... and looking for some excitement at work I don’t think there is anything wrong with that we long as there are two willing parties and we aren’t making anyone uncomfortable.


Work is for working. Get your excitement on your own time.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

katiecrna said:


> But if your single... and looking for some excitement at work I don’t think there is anything wrong with that we long as there are two willing parties and we aren’t making anyone uncomfortable.


True enough, if you know your audience well.

The hard part is uncovering the other willing parties without getting yourself fired in the discovery process. Roll the dice, take your chances, live with the outcome.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

I shouldnthave said:


> "Inappropriate" talk, is well..... inappropriate at work.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Sorry but it happens. Obviously not to some people like you because you shut it down right away but other people do it. 
I’ve been a nurse for over 10 years... I can’t count the number of affairs I’ve hear about and Witnessed, the number of times people had sex in the hospital.... when I was married my husband and I had sex all the time in the hospital. 
I know that it’s a risk and you can get fired over it. But there are so many people who do it and want to do it. And seek it out.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

notmyrealname4 said:


> Your work (in an operating theater, no less) is not a singles bar. You shouldn't be "looking for some excitement". Isn't the patient you're about to carve into "excitement" enough?
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Nah it’s too fun. And as long as I’m single and have a sex drive I will do with it as I please. I’ve been like this at every job I’ve had including McDonald’s when I was 16, it’s fun and not a big deal. No one is the wiser I am not an idiot.


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## I shouldnthave (Apr 11, 2018)

Thats all fine - as long as you understand that making the choice to be inappropriate at work may cost you your career. If that is a gamble you are willing to take, have at it. 

Personally, my career means a lot to me, and I wouldn't want to risk throwing it away over some inappropriate comments at work. 

I understand it sounds like the place you work at is full of cheating, and other inappropriate or unethical behavior. 

Perhaps it will remain like that for the next 30 years, or perhaps management will get a wake up call and drop the hatchet. 

For me also - being a woman, I don't want to do anything that would tarnish my image. That perhaps I was flirting to get ahead, or that I would use my sexuality as a leverage. Or that I couldn't be trusted with promotions or managing people because I have a track record of making inappropriate comments at work. 

I want to be respected, for my talents and my skills. I think flaunting my sexuality at work would not gain respect, but just the opposite.

There is usually very little harm in keeping things professional but friendly - and a lot of risks if you start crossing lines.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

I shouldnthave said:


> Thats all fine - as long as you understand that making the choice to be inappropriate at work may cost you your career. If that is a gamble you are willing to take, have at it.
> 
> Personally, my career means a lot to me, and I wouldn't want to risk throwing it away over some inappropriate comments at work.
> 
> ...




I get that and I respect that. 
And I know I am taking a risk and I am ok with that. I am really good and knowing who to talk to and who not to. I haven’t been in trouble yet. I work with someone who repeatedly made women feel uncomfortable and wouldn’t stop and he was finally let go. But there is a difference between flirting with someone who is flirting back vs just being a predator. 

To me, it’s fun and worth the risk. Plus I’m only young and horney once... gotta have a little fun before I’m dried up.


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## Sbrown (Jul 29, 2012)

katiecrna said:


> But if your single... and looking for some excitement at work I don’t think there is anything wrong with that we long as there are two willing parties and we aren’t making anyone uncomfortable.


There's only one problem with this. They can be ok with it today and change their mind and it's your job on the line. 

Sent from my Moto Z (2) using Tapatalk


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

katiecrna said:


> Sorry but it happens. Obviously not to some people like you because you shut it down right away but other people do it.
> I’ve been a nurse for over 10 years... I can’t count the number of affairs I’ve hear about and Witnessed, the number of times people had sex in the hospital.... when I was married my husband and I had sex all the time in the hospital.
> I know that it’s a risk and you can get fired over it. But there are so many people who do it and want to do it. And seek it out.





katiecrna said:


> Nah it’s too fun. And as long as I’m single and have a sex drive I will do with it as I please. I’ve been like this at every job I’ve had including McDonald’s when I was 16, it’s fun and not a big deal. No one is the wiser I am not an idiot.




Thanks for strengthening my resolve to avoid doctors like the plague.


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

Fact is, a woman being inappropriate in the workplace is far less at risk than a man doing the same. In all likelihood, her career will be just fine and some idiotic man will flush his own down the drain following her example.

Such is life today.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

notmyrealname4 said:


> Thanks for strengthening my resolve to avoid doctors like the plague.




It’s not only doctors! It’s everyone. Nurses, techs, PAs, NPs, it’s dentists and dental hygienists.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

zookeeper said:


> Fact is, a woman being inappropriate in the workplace is far less at risk than a man doing the same. In all likelihood, her career will be just fine and some idiotic man will flush his own down the drain following her example.
> 
> 
> 
> Such is life today.




Unfortunately this is true. 

However I am not that type of girl to report someone unless they were a serious threat. I’ve never done it before and I’ve had my share of inappropriate comments come my way. Some welcomed, some not, and some crossing the line. 

But yes I know most women aren’t like me.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I'm all for an a pleasant, enjoyable workplace - but I really want personal relationships kept out of it. Its not just the (potentially very serious) harassment issue. There is also the problem of perceived preference if the flirting isn't between people of equal power. Its easy for women to feel that they are not viewed as favorably by their boss if they don't flirt with him. Men who are uncomfortable with flirting may feel pressure to go along with it if their female boss flirts. Many people are made uncomfortable by same-sex flirting. 

I know that relationships (or hookups) can develop at work, but I think that they need to be kept well hidden. 

For me its not lawsuit avoidance but just wanting a workplace that is free from distracting drama and where people are thinking about work, not relationships. 





katiecrna said:


> But if your single... and looking for some excitement at work I don’t think there is anything wrong with that we long as there are two willing parties and we aren’t making anyone uncomfortable.


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## Luminous (Jan 14, 2018)

These days men only have to breathe the wrong way and they are guilty till proven innocent. Women having that sort of sense of humour in the workplace are far more likely to get away with it because of societie's double standards. 

My take is you are a qualified professional. Act like it. 

You obviously have not been on the receiving end of either a sexual harassment claim, or been spoken to be HR.

Enjoy the ride while it lasts

Sent from my HTC_M9u using Tapatalk


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## Haiku (Apr 9, 2014)

katiecrna said:


> And the reason I ask is because I have a dirty sense of humor. I’m single and I like to flirt with other single male co-workers even if it’s just for fun. It makes the job more interesting.
> 
> Then I was in the OR (operating room) with his one nurse who was super perverted, and not to be mean but she is not attractive and older, and the way she carried herself was very gross and unattractive so I was thinking I hope I don’t come off that way.


Witty, sarcastic, and subtle (even a bit dry) humor cracks me up. Workplace humor is touchy but like most things we need to know the audience. I’d probably make a droll expression of sort and laugh on the inside. I think I’m a bit of a sapiosexual so well placed/timed tasteful humor is _really_ appreciated.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

BTW, despite my limiting possibly offensive humor at work, I think its fine in private life.


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

katiecrna said:


> I’ve been a nurse for over 10 years... I can’t count the number of affairs I’ve hear about and Witnessed, the number of times people had sex in the hospital.... when I was married my husband and I had sex all the time in the hospital.
> I know that it’s a risk and you can get fired over it. But there are so many people who do it and want to do it. And seek it out.


There goes my impression of the medical profession actually being staffed by "professionals".


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

Just as men can run faster and jump higher, they are also funnier.

Put the potty mouth of Sarah Silverman or Amy Schumer on a bone fide 10, and she might as well be Andrea Dworkin………full body shudder……...


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## Haiku (Apr 9, 2014)

Red Sonja said:


> There goes my impression of the medical profession actually being staffed by "professionals".


Was that meant tongue-in-cheek?


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

Sbrown said:


> There's only one problem with this. They can be ok with it today and change their mind and it's your job on the line.
> 
> Sent from my Moto Z (2) using Tapatalk


I was thinking this same thing. When it comes to work, people can turn on you in a minute. And it would be really sad to be fired or suspended or even reprimanded for sexual misconduct.


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## RoseAglow (Apr 11, 2013)

katiecrna said:


> And the reason I ask is because I have a dirty sense of humor. I’m single and I like to flirt with other single male co-workers even if it’s just for fun. It makes the job more interesting.
> Then I was in the OR (operating room) with his one nurse who was super perverted, and not to be mean but she is not attractive and older, and *the way she carried herself was very gross and unattractive so I was thinking I hope I don’t come off that way*.


You very likely DO come off as kind of sad and unprofessional. The person you're flirting with might enjoy it but there is a high chance that others watching this are rolling their eyes, having a negative reaction, just like you did. 

It's not a great way to build a strong reputation at work.


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## Tomara (Jun 19, 2013)

You may think it’s cute and fun now but will you think that way when you are fired. As someone who deals in Human Resources, your behavior is a ticking bomb. Remember it doesn’t have to be the one you are joking/ flirting with to find and report inappropriate behavior.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

I shouldnthave said:


> Completely and totally inappropriate in professional setting where I work.
> 
> No one ever goes there, we don't talk about sex, joke about it, flirt etc in my office. As far as I know, everyone is celibate, and to keep things professional, it will stay that way.


Same here. I can’t imagine that kind of thing where I work. I’ve worked hard here for 23 years, and i honestly don’t think I’ve ever heard anything like this gay. I’m not saying that everyone is trying to be Mr Rogers, but Its just not like he norm.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

I get it, but in today's climate it take one person who takes it the wrong way. I would also worry if the perception of me was different because I did it. I personally like to be seen as professional and competent at work. I don't think there is a correlation necessarily between being competent and how you behave (some times there is), however professionalism is definitely contingent on that. If I saw two young or old people continually cracking dirty jokes I would probably think they were being "unprofessional". Got to be honest. 

I always feel like work is work. You are a nurse though right? I think that is different then say a business setting. At least right now, but a few lawsuits and it's all going to change. And mark my words there are going to be a few lawsuits. Society right now is doing it's best to eliminate this kind of behavior in a work environment.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

I’m my constantly cracking dirty jokes. It’s more like if someone says something I add on to it a little. Or I give a little look. It’s usually quietly with one person who is my friend. It’s definitely not all the time. Maybe once a week. I’m not crude and inappropriate at all, some people are. 

And yes I know there will be lawsuits if people make someone uncomfortable. There are two people right now that I work with that are finishing up their contract and being let go because of inappropriate behavior which involved texting a student. 

In this field people crack jokes, sometimes they are on the dirty side. Most are from older nurses. Everyone usually laughs and moves on. It’s not constant. And they are innocent silly comments nothing too personal or direct.

I am very professional, and competent. If you ask people I work with they would never say that I was inappropriate. Most people don’t hear me say anything, it’s usually a friend I’m working in close quarters to.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

katiecrna said:


> I’m my constantly cracking dirty jokes. It’s more like if someone says something I add on to it a little. Or I give a little look. It’s usually quietly with one person who is my friend. It’s definitely not all the time. Maybe once a week. I’m not crude and inappropriate at all, some people are.
> 
> And yes I know there will be lawsuits if people make someone uncomfortable. There are two people right now that I work with that are finishing up their contract and being let go because of inappropriate behavior which involved texting a student.
> 
> ...


Have to be honest, having been working professionally for 20 years this just doesn't seem like a sustainable activity. I get it that it happens in hospitals but that is really only because they haven't caught up. 3 or so lawsuits by someone who says the workplace was a hostile environment and it will stop. I just don't think it is worth the risk. It's really so foreign to me as far as work experience that if I heard someone doing it I would be shocked and to be honest I will change my perception of them. But then again I can only think about from my experience, yours may be very different. 

What made you ask the question, you seem to have some doubt. Did you do it while you were married?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

katiecrna said:


> When a women co-worker has a dirty sense of humor... does this make you uncomfortable? Do you like it? Does it matter how old and attractive she is?


 I love a dirty sense of humor. It makes the day go by a little easier and keeps the thoughts sexy and fun for when I get home!

Work flirting and joking is mostly healthy in my opinion but there are those who take it too far or too seriously.


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## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

Its ok for women to do it, even the uglies, but men got to be careful in their response so you don't get 'me too'ed'.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Red Sonja said:


> There goes my impression of the medical profession actually being staffed by "professionals".


They are a Randy bunch for sure but very good at keeping you alive when you are bleeding out or keeping you breathing when it otherwise would be impossible on your own.

I think research needs to be done to help medical professionals cope with the intensely sexual environment they find themselves in.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

sokillme said:


> Have to be honest, having been working professionally for 20 years this just doesn't seem like a sustainable activity. I get it that it happens in hospitals but that is really only because they haven't caught up. 3 or so lawsuits by someone who says the workplace was a hostile environment and it will stop. I just don't think it is worth the risk. It's really so foreign to me as far as work experience that if I heard someone doing it I would be shocked and to be honest I will change my perception of them. But then again I can only think about from my experience, yours may be very different.
> 
> 
> 
> What made you ask the question, you seem to have some doubt. Did you do it while you were married?




When I was married I made it very clear To everyone I was happily married. I talked all the time about my husband. But yes I still joked around and had a dirty sense of humor. My stbxh was the same way. 

It’s not a hostile environment that’s the thing. The problems arise when one person targets another person and crosses the line. In the operating room we all work hard, like really hard, and we see a lot of crazy stuff, and it can be really tense and stressful. We can work with people who are yelling and screaming and getting frustrated easily... THAT is a hostile workplace. We usually all enjoy a little casual conversation, a joke here and there, it totally lightens the mood. But then we are back to business again and it’s serious time. 

I’m not sure what made me ask the question. Maybe because I’m single and I work with a lot of cute men and I would like to find a man to date at work. Or even be friends with.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

katiecrna said:


> But if your single... and looking for some excitement at work I don’t think there is anything wrong with that we long as there are two willing parties and we aren’t making anyone uncomfortable.


Good for you.

The World today is a product of the past.
And it's abuses.

Keep your dirty comments to off-duty.

Keep your humor sanitized.
Especially in a hospital setting.
Germs spread, so does gossip.

A bad impression is a lasting one. One that does not wash off easily.

I says this with sadness, 
I like repertoire, I like clean underwear, mildly dirty underwords, those said under one's breath.
Heard, nonetheless.

I want my lady friends to be respected, not talked about in undertones. The tone of other's distaste.

Speak to, speak at, pick only those who appreciate such salty humor.

Note: men will always think the worst when sexy rasp rolls off a lovely tongue.
They will think you loose. 

Even when all your mental nuts and bolts hold firm, are tight.
Tis' the way, the dreams of men.



SunCMars-


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

SunCMars said:


> Good for you.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I don’t think this is necessarily true. I think If your super vulgar and do it to everyone all the time then yes that’s a bad look.

But I think that you can maintain a professionalism with a little bit of dark side that only a couple are privy to.


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

I would advise against any kind of dirty humor at work, I'd also leave politics, religion, and gender out of it too. Basically just keep it professional. Trust me you don't want to go there, as an owner of a company I have dealt with things you can't imagine. I have had employees threaten legal action against me for every "ism". Racism, sexism, ageism....bla, bla etc...and always unfounded. You don't want to be in a situation where someone actually has you on record saying anything inappropriate. Then you're screwed if they ever have an axe to grind.

Funny story I had one employee file an EEOC complaint against her boss alleging discrimination because she was black, over 50, and also gay. I remember laughing at it when I got the complaint. Her supervisor was a long time friend of mine who you guessed it, was also black, over 50, and a gay woman. The person who filed it didn't know that. I knew that complaint wasn't going anywhere. It was thrown out quickly. People just can't accept that maybe just maybe they are lousy at their job.

With that said as much as I hate to say it if you're really hot, regardless of gender the rules don't apply. People seem to be flattered by the attention as opposed to creeped out. Yes, even married people, but they have no intentions of following up on it most of the time. Attractive people just seem to have more room to joke inappropriately. With that said on the flip side if a person is really unattractive, pretty much anything they say that has a sexual connotation will be taken as a creepy unwanted comment. Actually if you're really, really ugly, even a short glance can get you reported for acting "creepy". I have definitely noticed the rules don't apply to hot people, people actually compete to get the attention of the "harasser". Has anyone else noticed this?


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

ConanHub said:


> They are a Randy bunch for sure but very good at keeping you alive when you are bleeding out or keeping you breathing when it otherwise would be impossible on your own.
> 
> 
> 
> I think research needs to be done to help medical professionals cope with the intensely sexual environment they find themselves in.




I think that if your a highly sexual, inappropriate type of person your going to be that way no matter what job your in. I think it’s a small percentage of people I just think I’m in that percentage so maybe I think it’s more common than it really is... or something.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

I shouldnthave said:


> Completely and totally inappropriate in professional setting where I work.
> 
> No one ever goes there, we don't talk about sex, joke about it, flirt etc in my office. As far as I know, everyone is celibate, and to keep things professional, it will stay that way.


Celibate? _All_ of you? _Nobody_ has sex? Gosh.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

katiecrna said:


> I think that if your a highly sexual, inappropriate type of person your going to be that way no matter what job your in. I think it’s a small percentage of people I just think I’m in that percentage so maybe I think it’s more common than it really is... or something.


You'd have fit in well at my last employer.

I seemed to get away with stuff.

A colleague with a large and rather splendid bottom complained that a visitor to our trade stand had said: "Nice arse!"

I said: "He should not have said that!" was my response. I paused for dramatic effect, glanced at her bottom and said with mock seriousness: "But to be honest, I have to agree with his judgement!"

She giggled and said "From you, I'll take that as a compliment!"


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## Luminous (Jan 14, 2018)

This is a perfect example of the previously discussed double standard... 

Whilst you handled the situation with humour, your female counterpart hand picked who to take offense from, for pretty much the same comment.


MattMatt said:


> You'd have fit in well at my last employer.
> 
> I seemed to get away with stuff.
> 
> ...


Sent from my HTC_M9u using Tapatalk


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

Luminous said:


> This is a perfect example of the previously discussed double standard...
> 
> Whilst you handled the situation with humour, your female counterpart hand picked who to take offense from, for pretty much the same comment.
> 
> ...




I bet she didn’t like his comment but said it because he is her superior and didn’t want to make things awkward.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

katiecrna said:


> I bet she didn’t like his comment but said it because he is her superior and didn’t want to make things awkward.


No, we were on the same level at work. I wasn't her boss.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Oh for a pious old fart, I have a dirty mind, too!

But having been in both oilfield and Federal government supervision, just the mere thought of an appearance before HR and possible expulsion from my football officiating avocation was more than sobering!

Keep your head and other orifices closed! *


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Things that sound innocent can also get repeated and cause problems. I one time made a joking "threatening" comment to a coworker - something about it becoming a personnel safety issue if the software his group was developing crashed and caused me to to have to drive to work at 3am again. We were good friends and he laughed. 

Unfortunately he told this to the person in his group actually doing the work, and they reported me to HR for making threats. It was cleared up but that was 30 years ago when there was less concert about these sorts of things.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

katiecrna said:


> When I was married I made it very clear To everyone I was happily married. I talked all the time about my husband. But yes I still joked around and had a dirty sense of humor. My stbxh was the same way.
> 
> It’s not a hostile environment that’s the thing. The problems arise when one person targets another person and crosses the line. In the operating room we all work hard, like really hard, and we see a lot of crazy stuff, and it can be really tense and stressful. We can work with people who are yelling and screaming and getting frustrated easily... THAT is a hostile workplace. We usually all enjoy a little casual conversation, a joke here and there, it totally lightens the mood. But then we are back to business again and it’s serious time.
> 
> I’m not sure what made me ask the question. Maybe because I’m single and I work with a lot of cute men and I would like to find a man to date at work. Or even be friends with.


Here is the thing about the hostile environment. If someone else overhears it and it makes them uncomfortable it becomes one right away. Even more so if you are promoted over someone else and that person assumes (rightly or wrongly)that it's because you are the cute girl who is flirty with the other men in her department it becomes a hostile environment. Especially if the other person is a not as attractive, quiet but just as competent a worker. This is why it's frowned upon. 

Generally speaking sexual flirting is just not a professional thing to do in a work environment, for this very reason. It muddies the waters. Other women and men don't want to have to compete sexually with people for promotion. There is a presumption, rightly or wrongly that they will have to if people in the office are that familiar. Besides that it's not like we don't have a history of that kind of stuff going on. 

Finally even her the expression don't **** where you eat. Something to at least think about.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

I enjoy it, but you just have to be smart about it. Dip a toe in with some innuendo that could be taken as innocent or taken dirty. Judge by their response, then move on from there. I talk a LOT of trash and I'm quick with a comeback. So usually I'm already known as the trash talker very quickly by my coworkers. I'm also kind and go out of my way to help them. So there is a give and take that has to be present. "Oh, TheDude doesn't mean anything by it" is usually what is already in a person's head about me joking around. I'm also very self deprecating and laugh when I'm slammed back with a good one. 

My work reputation is I'm going to make jokes. All kinds of jokes. Maybe I'll test the waters with someone using a joke against myself. For example if I finish a project quickly I might say "Well that was quicker than I thought it would be." Then mumble something like "my wife says that about me often" and just judge their response to see if they are of the same dirty mind as me. In the end most people already expect me to make jokes, so a small somewhat clean dirty joke wont bother anyone. But yeah, I dont see anything wrong with it. 


From my experiences its usually women who bring more filthy jokes to the table than men do. I'll walk into the break room and see a group of 3 women just dying laughing and they know me and feel safe to tell, so they explain what they were just talking about. Some of the filth I've heard... Lol. Its hard to make me blush, but I've been laughed at for blushing at some of these conversations the ladies were having. It's all in good fun. 

In the end it probably depends on the culture of your work environment more than anything. I work retail sales. Before that, restaurants. The culture in these places is usually about the same everywhere you go.


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## happy2gether (Dec 6, 2015)

my wife works at a hospital, dirty talk at work by either sex is "supposed" to be frowned upon but in reality many do it and very rarely does anyone complain. like anything else, a little common sense and knowing the people that could overhear should be used before speaking.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

Eh, I can be a racy as the next person socially, but it's just classless, tacky, unprofessional ,and immature at work.

I would think anyone who had been through infidelity would guard against such trampy stuff.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

personofinterest said:


> Eh, I can be a racy as the next person socially, but it's just classless, tacky, unprofessional ,and immature at work.
> 
> 
> 
> I would think anyone who had been through infidelity would guard against such trampy stuff.




I’ve never been through infidelity. And I don’t find it trampy. It can be trampy, but those who occasionally say a dirty joke are not trampy, that’s a stretch.


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## Hope Shimmers (Jul 10, 2015)

katiecrna said:


> But if your single... and looking for some excitement at work I don’t think there is anything wrong with that we long as there are two willing parties and we aren’t making anyone uncomfortable.


I haven't read all the replies, but I'm shocked that you would even ask this question. "Looking for some excitement at work"? Then get a job at a strip bar, not a healthcare setting. 

I am not a prude but I would report you in one nanosecond if I heard that. (I am a physician).



katiecrna said:


> My work is not like that at all.


Then find a professional position.

I thought a lot of you before you posted this thread. No more.

We go to work to take care of people who are in life or death situations. It's not a dating site or bar type scene. Respect the people you work for (the patients) or get out.


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## Hope Shimmers (Jul 10, 2015)

katiecrna said:


> I don’t think this is necessarily true. I think If your super vulgar and do it to everyone all the time then yes that’s a bad look.
> 
> But I think that you can maintain a professionalism with a little bit of dark side that only a couple are privy to.


If you truly think that only a couple of people are privy to vulgar things you said to only a couple of people, then you haven't worked in any hospital I've known. Your reputation precedes you, even if you don't know it. 

Keep your work and personal life separate. If you need to de-stress at work in the OR or wherever, as we ALL do, then do it with respect.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

katiecrna said:


> When a women co-worker has a dirty sense of humor... does this make you uncomfortable? Do you like it? Does it matter how old and attractive she is?


I absolutely love it when the ladies crank out the nasty talk. 

Of course, I love it anytime anybody thwarts PC. But it's especially satisfying when it's a gender role reversal. It's also good to know women have a nasty streak just like men. It's very satisfying, as well as liberating. 

... with the caveat that it not be something that distract from team cohesion or mission accomplishment. But, for the most part, I have seen this as actually building team cohesion.

I could whine about the double standard... if a guy was to do the same thing, HR would be all over his ass in a New York minute. But that's the world we life in. If we guys can be so constrained, it's still nice that someone not be so constrained.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

One rather mild, but amusing anecdote.

This was circa 1998, when cell phones were getting smaller. 

I was in the Air Force, still just a young captain, but my colonel was out, so I had to attend an important staff meeting that was the exclusive domain of a half dozen full bird colonels and the 2 star general that chaired the group.

As we awaited the General's arrival, I sat there uncomfortably with 5 full birds, one of whom was female. One colonel was showing off his new cell phone, remarking about how much smaller and lighter it was than the previous model. After this, two other colonels broke out their new phones, bragging that they were even smaller.

Just as the 2-star entered, the one female colonel chimed in "I swear to God, I never thought I'd see the day when a group of men would sit around bragging about who has the smallest equipment!"

I cracked up in spite of myself.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Completely inappropriate at my work. If I hear a man or a woman making such jokes instant consequences. The problem becomes that others who can overhear may be offended even if they aren’t. If I as a supervisor hear it and don’t address it then I am as guilty as condoning it. Not happening here on my watch.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

Wolf1974 said:


> Completely inappropriate at my work. If I hear a man or a woman making such jokes instant consequences. The problem becomes that others who can overhear may be offended even if they aren’t. If I as a supervisor hear it and don’t address it then I am as guilty as condoning it. Not happening here on my watch.


Sounds like you run a **** place to work. Just sayin


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## Hope Shimmers (Jul 10, 2015)

TheDudeLebowski said:


> Sounds like you run a **** place to work. Just sayin


Sounds like he runs a serious professional business.

The AP is a healthcare provider. What if one of your parents or your spouse, or God forbid, your child was in one of these facilities, and you as a parent or relative overheard this kind of crap from the people taking care of your loved one? How would you feel?

Just sayin


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Hope Shimmers said:


> I thought a lot of you before you posted this thread. No more.


This is a little rough isn't it? She is just young. From her posts she is a good introspective person as far as I can tell. She just likes dirty jokes and has worked in an environment where that kind of thing was not frowned upon like some other businesses. 

Telling dirty jokes on the job doesn't make her a bad person. Maybe an unwise person in the long run. I suspect she asked the question because she is starting to realize that it's not a clear cut as she thought.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Hope Shimmers said:


> Sounds like he runs a serious professional business.
> 
> The AP is a healthcare provider. What if one of your parents or your spouse, or God forbid, your child was in one of these facilities, and you as a parent or relative overheard this kind of crap from the people taking care of your loved one? How would you feel?
> 
> Just sayin


It's not appropriate but they would survive. I agree it's not professional but I mean lets stop with the kids will be scared for life. All they have to do is turn on the radio and they can hear that kind of thing. I mean you remember when you were a kid it's not like you didn't say crude stuff or at least hear it. You survived.


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## Hope Shimmers (Jul 10, 2015)

sokillme said:


> It's not appropriate but they would survive. I agree it's not professional but I mean lets stop with the kids will be scared for life. All they have to do is turn on the radio and they can hear that kind of thing. I mean you remember when you were a kid it's not like you didn't say crude stuff or at least hear it. You survived.


I didn't say anything about kids being 'scared (sic) for life.' What I said was, that kind of environment is not one to consider a place to tell nasty jokes and hit on men. There are more appropriate places for that. I'm 53 years old and I have seen what can happen when family members hear staff say things that staff don't think they can hear.... during the worst possible time of their life. Or, they see certain aspects of behavior between staff that should not happen.

Be professional and keep it in a different environment. There is nothing worse than being on the receiving end of hearing that your experience with a dying family member is just a job and a place to exchange dirty jokes. And never think that this stuff doesn't come out, because eventually it does.

There is a time and a place. Those who disagree, I hope you never find yourself in that position. I'm out, thanks.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> One rather mild, but amusing anecdote.
> 
> This was circa 1998, when cell phones were getting smaller.
> 
> ...


Lol! It could have easily been a guy who said "y'all are bragging about small now? My wife likes my big one" as he whips out his massive phone. 

I imagine the military keeps the same sort of culture a restaurant or retail sales store would keep. A virtual HR nightmare which will forever remain a secret to them. 

I always laugh when HR shows up for the day. Everyone puts on this act and does a song and dance showing literally the perfect store of respectable employees and people. The second they leave its like you have been holding your breath for as long as you can take. Everyone just ****BLAH**** all sorts of obscenities and held in jokes and filth that has been building for the last 3 hours. 

Even funnier is when the HR person askes you a question next to your buddy and you just catch each other's eye knowing instantly they just triggered some super offensive joke known to the whole staff and crew. Some inside joke that everyone is in on. Then trying desperately to keep a straight face. A **** eating grin on both of your faces. 

The thing about it is I feel it really connects everyone with this bond that can't be touched. You don't just have co-workers anymore. They are life long friends who you love literally unconditionally. Because you share so much. Walls are broken down completely. Those aren't my co-workers, that's Tony, Gabe, Gilbert, Monica, Jessica, Amber, Chris, Jose, Shacoy, Jennifer, Donnie, Bilal, Diante, Arturo ... all of which I would do anything for and wouldn't hesitate to ask help from because they would do what they could without hesitation or judgement to help me in return. In life, or at work!

We can make racial jokes at each other's expense and laugh about it. We can make sexist jokes and laugh about it. We can make disgusting jokes and flirt and horse around and nobody takes offense. That is the culture. With that culture comes a palatable love and respect for one another. 

Some of those names are managers or employees who have come and gone. I know they felt uneasy at first, but every single one has adopted the culture, why? Because at the end of the day we are all equally dedicated to produce. Dedicated to one another. If we aren't making jokes at your expense, it's because we don't care about you. Those people never last. But the numbers are always there. The productivity and profit increases every year, why? Because we are dedicated and we push one another and help one another. This is a commission based field. 

Every single person new to our store but not new to the company or commission sales said the same thing... "Ive never worked at a store where nobody fights over who's sale belongs to who." If I have to spend 2 hours with a customer of Gabe's, I will, and he receives the commission and gets the sale on his day off even. Because he has and will do the same for me without hesitation. 

Imo, it comes from the ability to just be open, be honest, be who we all are 100% without fear. Without any fear of some PC, racist, sexist, homophobic bigotry. It doesn't exist here at all! Its all jokes and all love. With that comes the respect of everyone else. We are all VASTLY different. Left wing, right wing. This religion, that religion. This race, that race. Of this culture or that one. And of course, this sex and that sex. Sexually charged jokes, dirty jokes, racist jokes, homophobic jokes, whatever. I personally not only think there is nothing wrong with it, I think our culture creates more of a real family and kinship than most people will ever know at their jobs. Outside of the military anyway.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Hope Shimmers said:


> I didn't say anything about kids being 'scared (sic) for life.' What I said was, that kind of environment is not one to consider a place to tell nasty jokes and hit on men. There are more appropriate places for that. I'm 53 years old and I have seen what can happen when family members hear staff say things that staff don't think they can hear.... during the worst possible time of their life. Or, they see certain aspects of behavior between staff that should not happen.
> 
> Be professional and keep it in a different environment. There is nothing worse than being on the receiving end of hearing that your experience with a dying family member is just a job and a place to exchange dirty jokes. And never think that this stuff doesn't come out, because eventually it does.
> 
> There is a time and a place. Those who disagree, I hope you never find yourself in that position. I'm out, thanks.


I agree with you, I just don't think the stakes are as high. No need to get upset, we are just dialoging here, that's kind of how it works. You are certainly entitled to disagree. Besides you didn't answer my other question in your post. 

Thanks for correcting my spelling by the way! 

0


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I don't think the OP is a bad person at all, I just think that she is acting in a way that isn't appropriate for the work place. If she worked for me, I'd nicely ask her to keep those comments outside of the workplace. The reason is that they can lead to a number possible problems:

They could make some people directly uncomfortable. They could cause other women to worry that they will have a worse chance at promotion if they don't flirt as well. They can make men above her uncomfortable that they need to act like the "evil boss" by telling her to stop, and men under her might worry that they can't make a complaint.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I think a place can be a great place to work, but also feel professional. There are lots of good topics for discussion. People can socialize, and have a good time a work. There are just a few topics that risk creating problems. 



TheDudeLebowski said:


> Sounds like you run a **** place to work. Just sayin


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

Hope Shimmers said:


> Sounds like he runs a serious professional business.
> 
> The AP is a healthcare provider. What if one of your parents or your spouse, or God forbid, your child was in one of these facilities, and you as a parent or relative overheard this kind of crap from the people taking care of your loved one? How would you feel?
> 
> Just sayin


I would feel like "im glad these people have fun at work." Because in all honesty, humans aren't robots. When they pretend to be robots, IME, they tend to make more mistakes. I would also question the confidence they have in their own abilities. Further, I would specifically question their ability to be human and feel emotion at all. You know EMS drivers have seriously the darkest senses of humor of anyone I know. Why? Because they have to see and deal with the most depressing stuff I could imagine on a daily basis. Humor is their coping mechanism. And it will only start to show through when they have confidence in what they are doing. 

So a stiff bunch of robotic, almost android like Data characters from star trek, walking around a hospital as health care providers would actually make me very nervous.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Its possible to have fun at work and to joke, but to avoid topics like sex and religion that can cause problems. 





TheDudeLebowski said:


> I would feel like "im glad these people have fun at work." Because in all honesty, humans aren't robots. When they pretend to be robots, IME, they tend to make more mistakes. I would also question the confidence they have in their own abilities. Further, I would specifically question their ability to be human and feel emotion at all. You know EMS drivers have seriously the darkest senses of humor of anyone I know. Why? Because they have to see and deal with the most depressing stuff I could imagine on a daily basis. Humor is their coping mechanism. And it will only start to show through when they have confidence in what they are doing.
> 
> So a stiff bunch of robotic, almost android like Data characters from star trek, walking around a hospital as health care providers would actually make me very nervous.


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## Hope Shimmers (Jul 10, 2015)

TheDudeLebowski said:


> I would feel like "im glad these people have fun at work." Because in all honesty, humans aren't robots. When they pretend to be robots, IME, they tend to make more mistakes. I would also question the confidence they have in their own abilities. Further, I would specifically question their ability to be human and feel emotion at all. You know EMS drivers have seriously the darkest senses of humor of anyone I know. Why? Because they have to see and deal with the most depressing stuff I could imagine on a daily basis. Humor is their coping mechanism. And it will only start to show through when they have confidence in what they are doing.
> 
> So a stiff bunch of robotic, almost android like Data characters from star trek, walking around a hospital as health care providers would actually make me very nervous.


You are completely, totally missing the point.

I am not talking about people being stiff robots. I am saying that vulgar dirty jokes (straight from the OP language) be exercised in a different venue.

Also, I am not "upset" about it. But I'll tell you something, based on my experience, which is exponentially more than you have. If your mom or dad or wife or child is dying in a healthcare facility, and you hear staff sharing vulgar sex jokes while you are at their bedside or in the waiting room, you are NOT, and I repeat NOT, going to think: "I'm glad these people have fun at work". Guarantee it on my 401k.

Ask me how I know this. Because I've seen it at work. And because I experienced it when my daughter was born at 22 weeks and lived for 20 minutes. The darkest day of my life, and to the people outside the door it was just another shift. Well, maybe it was, but I would have preferred not to hear it, and to think that they cared at least some fraction of the amount that I did.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

TheDudeLebowski said:


> Sounds like you run a **** place to work. Just sayin


Nope I run a professional environment devoid of bull**** that gets us sued or makes good employees want to quite because they feel belittled or bullied

Just sayin


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

Hope Shimmers said:


> I am not a prude but I would report you in one nanosecond if I heard that. (I am a physician).
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Good to hear that there are physicians to whom this type of behavior is unacceptable.

From working in medical settings for quite a few years, I know that patients are often discussed in very disrespectful terms once they leave the office. Laughing at their fears and concerns, judgement if they are low-income and on DSHS...and of course, mocking the patients bodies; including crass remarks about the penis size of baby boys.

Please keep doing everything you can to eradicate this type of behavior from the medical profession


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Hope Shimmers said:


> Sounds like he runs a serious professional business.
> 
> The AP is a healthcare provider. What if one of your parents or your spouse, or God forbid, your child was in one of these facilities, and you as a parent or relative overheard this kind of crap from the people taking care of your loved one? How would you feel?
> 
> Just sayin


I'd personally find it refreshing, especially when I'm the patient. Nothing is more frustrating to me than a physician with no sense of humor.

Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

Hope Shimmers said:


> You are completely, totally missing the point.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Your picking an extreme scenario. No one is talking about telling vulgar jokes around dying patients. I work in the operating room. Every once in a while a innocent joke is said when an opportunity presents itself. 
For example the surgeon was talking about the tip of some instrument and he was like “just the tip” and I said hey the tip still counts... and everyone laughed and continued on with their work. It wasn’t a big deal. It’s a general dirty joke not one that is directed to anyone personally.

Here in the operating room it’s such a relief to laugh every once in a while, things can be so tense and stressful. 
If you want to talk about a healthy and professional environment, there is nothing worse than working with staff that are always complaining, yelling, criticizing and uptight. 

Most of the mistakes that occur in the OR are from miscommunication. Some people create such a serious, intense environment and they answer questions harshly, and often times get mad and the problem is it causes a bullying atmosphere so when the nurse or someone sees something that needs to be corrected or whatever they are afraid to ask because they don’t want to get yelled at. Creating a comfortable relax environment is so important to make everyone in the OR feel comfortable communicating with each other. And jokes of all sorts help that.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Cletus said:


> I'd personally find it refreshing, especially when I'm the patient. Nothing is more frustrating to me than a physician with no sense of humor.
> 
> Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk


Although I resisted for a few years after turning 50, I finally relented to my health care provider (and my wife) and agreed to submit to the buttcam (colonoscopy).

The medic who checked me in and I had a rollicking good time throwing anal jokes back and forth at each other while completing the necessary paperwork. It made the whole experience far more palatable.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

To be direct, this is a class and maturity issue. Plain and simple. I have a great sense of humor. My coworkers think I'm hysterical. I don't make sex jokes.

Because I have class and I am not in 7th grade.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

personofinterest said:


> To be direct, this is a class and maturity issue. Plain and simple. I have a great sense of humor. My coworkers think I'm hysterical. I don't make sex jokes.
> 
> 
> 
> Because I have class and I am not in 7th grade.




That’s the most judgmental thing I’ve ever heard. But whatever floats your boat.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

katiecrna said:


> That’s the most judgmental thing I’ve ever heard. But whatever floats your boat.


I didn't say people who make sex jokes are work have NO class. I just mean that while they are making the sex jokes at work, they are not displaying class. At all. And WHEN HR confronts them, they have earned it.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

personofinterest said:


> I didn't say people who make sex jokes are work have NO class. I just mean that while they are making the sex jokes at work, they are not displaying class. At all. And WHEN HR confronts them, they have earned it.




You seems pretty passionate about this topic. So passionate your insulting people. 

It takes a lot for me to get offended. It also takes a lot for me to report someone at work. I’m very verbal and have no problem telling someone to not talk to me that way, or don’t say that around me, which I have said a few times. But I like to be the type of person where people can feel comfortable talking to me about anything.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

personofinterest said:


> To be direct, this is a class and maturity issue. Plain and simple. I have a great sense of humor. My coworkers think I'm hysterical. I don't make sex jokes.
> 
> Because I have class and I am not in 7th grade.


While most sexual humor is sophomoric and/or classless, I don't buy the presupposition that any joke with a sexual component must inherently be juvenile. Sex, like any other topic, can be handled with both class and humor simultaneously. These boards are proof as there's no shortage of innuendo and outright sexual attempts at humor in all sorts of threads. Sure, some are a waste of digital space, but some have been genuinely clever, and even insightful.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> While most sexual humor is sophomoric and/or classless, I don't buy the presupposition that any joke with a sexual component must inherently be juvenile. Sex, like any other topic, can be handled with both class and humor simultaneously. These boards are proof as there's no shortage of innuendo and outright sexual attempts at humor in all sorts of threads. Sure, some are a waste of digital space, but some have been genuinely clever, and even insightful.


I should have clarified that I meant at work. Or, ya know, like, IN SURGERY.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

personofinterest said:


> To be direct, this is a class and maturity issue. Plain and simple. I have a great sense of humor. My coworkers think I'm hysterical. I don't make sex jokes.
> 
> Because I have class and I am not in 7th grade.


As long as you know you are above others and a better person than them, I'm sure your sense of self worth wont suffer anyway.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

katiecrna said:


> You seems pretty passionate about this topic. So passionate your insulting people.
> 
> It takes a lot for me to get offended. It also takes a lot for me to report someone at work. I’m very verbal and have no problem telling someone to not talk to me that way, or don’t say that around me, which I have said a few times. But I like to be the type of person where people can feel comfortable talking to me about anything.


You're



I'm not intending to insult people. I am intending to insult behavior.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

We live in a world where you don’t know how people are feeling. I’m easy going, always have a smile on my face, and I make jokes, and I let Inappropriate things slide because it doesn’t bother me. I have had a lot of patients say inappropriate things to me, and I just laugh it off and change the subject. I don’t want to make them feel uncomfortable by sternly correcting their behavior, it’s awkward for them, especially when a young nurse is telling an older man don’t speak to me that way. 

I am professional. I don’t gossip. I don’t ever talk bad about colleagues. This one anesthesiologist is being forced to leave because he was sexually harnessing women.... when people ask me why he is leaving I say I have no idea but he is going to be missed by a lot of people. I never ever talk negatively about anyone. Ever. People I work with know they can trust me. A lot of nurses and other people come to me to talk about their personal problems at home or what not. I am always nice and always friendly. You never know who needs a friend these days, you never know who needs some laughter, or a friendly smile.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

personofinterest said:


> I should have clarified that I meant at work. Or, ya know, like, IN SURGERY.


So in the case of the Colonel in my anecdote above, was she being classless? Personally, everyone thought it was pretty hysterical. Even if it was "classless," do you really think that warrants HR involvement, negative placement in personnel file etc? Could that not have been part of the camaraderie that these professionals enjoy?

And with regard to my colonoscopy, should the medical professional who checked me in be fired for unprofessional behavior? The atmosphere of levity certainly made the whole procedure less uncomfortable for me.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

katiecrna said:


> We live in a world where you don’t know how people are feeling. I’m easy going, always have a smile on my face, and I make jokes, and I let Inappropriate things slide because it doesn’t bother me. I have had a lot of patients say inappropriate things to me, and I just laugh it off and change the subject. I don’t want to make them feel uncomfortable by sternly correcting their behavior, it’s awkward for them, especially when a young nurse is telling an older man don’t speak to me that way.
> 
> I am professional. I don’t gossip. I don’t ever talk bad about colleagues. This one anesthesiologist is being forced to leave because *he was sexually harnessing women*.... when people ask me why he is leaving I say I have no idea but he is going to be missed by a lot of people. I never ever talk negatively about anyone. Ever. People I work with know they can trust me. A lot of nurses and other people come to me to talk about their personal problems at home or what not. I am always nice and always friendly. You never know who needs a friend these days, you never know who needs some laughter, or a friendly smile.


So he'd recently received a shipment from Adam & Eve, eh? >


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

I must have misunderstood. I read this thread as advocating for making lewd jokes at work because "people need to get over it." I thought the OP was making these jokes regularly and defending it. I now think I misunderstood. It's not about making jokes, it's about letting other's remarks slide and roll of rather than make a stink.

THAT I can understand. I mean, I wouldn't go running to HR if a coworker made an off-color remark in jest in context. I just wouldn't sexually banter with my coworkers on the job.

I'm not sure if that distinction makes sense, but I apologize for misunderstanding what was going on.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

personofinterest said:


> I must have misunderstood. I read this thread as advocating for making lewd jokes at work because "people need to get over it." I thought the OP was making these jokes regularly and defending it. I now think I misunderstood. It's not about making jokes, it's about letting other's remarks slide and roll of rather than make a stink.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




It’s hard to understand what people mean. And even as I typed the OP out it’s hard to explain what I mean. All I know is that they are sexual in nature, not directed towards anyone so they aren’t personal. It can be a look, a joke, innuendo or whatever. I’m not talking about asking someone what color panties they wear, or whatever that makes someone feel uncomfortable. 

I guess it’s hard to explain. I have a million examples but I can’t describe it in words. 

That anesthesiologist was different. He was personally singling out females and saying dirty things to them, and texting them, and wouldn’t stop after being told to. That is 100% harassment. IMO if you want to put feelers out there and say something flirty that’s fine. But once you are told to stop then you have to stop. That’s my personal opinion. I know many people don’t think sexual advances should ever be made at work, and I disagree. That’s how many people meet their partners.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

That actually makes sense. I mean, sometimes things come out a certain way, and everyone in the room gets the unintentional entendre, and everyone chuckles at it, and it's funny.

Then there's the guy (or girl) who thinks he should be able to make boob jokes every 5 minutes and talk about all the booty he gets and snickers like a 12 year old when someone uses the phrase "in the end" at a meeting.

The former is understandable banter. The latter is pathetic and classless. And yes, I am proud to be better than that


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

personofinterest said:


> That actually makes sense. I mean, sometimes things come out a certain way, and everyone in the room gets the unintentional entendre, and everyone chuckles at it, and it's funny.
> 
> Then there's the guy (or girl) who thinks he should be able to make boob jokes every 5 minutes and talk about all the booty he gets and snickers like a 12 year old when someone uses the phrase "in the end" at a meeting.
> 
> The former is understandable banter. The latter is pathetic and classless. And yes, I am proud to be better than that


Yep. I've got no room on my team for the guy in your second paragraph either. That is most definitely not conducive to team cohesion or mission accomplishment (in addition to being juvenile and classless).


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

personofinterest said:


> That actually makes sense. I mean, sometimes things come out a certain way, and everyone in the room gets the unintentional entendre, and everyone chuckles at it, and it's funny.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




I completely agree with you.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> Yep. I've got no room on my team for the guy in your second paragraph either. That is most definitely not conducive to team cohesion or mission accomplishment (in addition to being juvenile and classless).


I don't know if it matters to anyone, but I would like to add that I know/feel this on multiple levels. I've already mentioned impact on mission accomplishment which should be the first concern of any manager/leader.

But on a purely human level, I want those around me to be comfortable around me. I everyone to enjoy their lives, which also means enjoying their work environment as much as possible. Clearly, such behavior will detract from that as well. 

Fortunately, in cases like this, the right answer from a human point of view and the right answer from a managerial point of view are in perfect sync with each other. 

It's great when decision making is so easy and clear cut.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

personofinterest said:


> To be direct, this is a class and maturity issue. Plain and simple.


Insofar as I have little of either, you're barking up the wrong tree. 

Glad to disappoint.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

personofinterest said:


> You're
> 
> 
> 
> I'm not intending to insult people. I am intending to insult behavior.


Hate the sin, love the sinner?

I never found that very convincing either.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

Cletus said:


> Hate the sin, love the sinner?
> 
> 
> 
> I never found that very convincing either.




I’m all about hate the sin, love the sinner come on...


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

katiecrna said:


> I’m all about hate the sin, love the sinner come on...


I find the two utterly inseparable (without actually believing in the concept of sin).

We are what we do, at least in the moment. Our "sins" are not something we can extract from the person doing the sinning.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

Cletus said:


> I find the two utterly inseparable (without actually believing in the concept of sin).
> 
> We are what we do, at least in the moment. Our "sins" are not something we can extract from the person doing the sinning.




Wow we are very different lol. 

I believe we all do bad things but that doesn’t make us bad people. A pattern of bad things is different though. 

I’m the type of person who can forgive an adulterer but won’t forgive an adulterer that didn’t tell me what he did. Mistakes are mistakes but lying and deceiving are character traits.


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