# confused on what to do, any suggestion will be helpfull



## sakar (Jun 10, 2012)

Hey everyone and anyone who reads this, im looking for maybe alot or a little advice... well as much as you would like to give me please its my first post on a forum, so ill get to the problem then.

im 18 years old and i havent had a long relationship since i was about 10 which wasnt a real relationship as i was just a child and it was more a label then actually anything else, throughout the whole of the last two years i was in high school (im from the UK so it was when i was 14-16) i didnt have a single relationship, i slowly started having relationships after i left school but they always ended short sometimes within 2 weeks and quite often within a day or two! im currently in a... well i dont know how to call it really but basiclly im seeing but not going out with, my brothers friend and we have met up twice so far and both times he has spent the night at my house. one of the main reasons we havent tried to go in a relationship is because his dad and him recently moved an hour and a half away and when his train ticket expires i doubt we will be seeing much of each other at all. Ive really started to like him which is really hard for me at the moment, but im so confused about this all (hes 16, and im 18 and before i met him i was dead set on only going out with people the same age or older then myself), im going through the worst patch in my life so far and well i dont know what ti do concerning him. i havent been able to go into relationships properky because i chicken out because im so insecure about well everything about myself which means its hard for me to respond to kindness and affection. i hate my weight (dont even know how much i weigh now but im a size 12) i walk around with my hair in my face as i have a circuler birth mark the size of one pence based at my cheek just under the further side of my left side eye. i dont think he realises its even their because im ocd about making sure its covered... ive finally been refered to a plastic surgeon about the birthmark because it has caused so many mental problems for me, so it should be removed within two months by then. my question is should i try and even start a relationship with him when im in such a way or should i just forget about it or what should i do at all? sorry about being so long again my first post and to be honest i have alot more things im worrying about but just helping me sort one problem will help me millions, thank you to everyone who replys with any tips or suggestions.


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## jenniferswe (Apr 23, 2012)

I don't know what the laws are there but in the USA, the ages would mean trouble. Over here if you're an adult and you're dating a minor, it's punishable by law. If you don't have this law over there, then you don't have worry about that. If he's moving away and might not get to see you, it might be best if you keep it casual. You are young and have a lot of time for dating ahead of you. You don't need to settle so early. I used to think that after I broke up with someone, I wouldn't find anyone else. This isn't true. Eventually, someone else will come along.


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## sakar (Jun 10, 2012)

Im not breaking any laws, thank you for your advice i think i worry and slightly panic over the fact that i havent had a proper relationship that lasted and well he seems alot nicer then most men ive been attracted too,


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## lotsoflove (Jun 11, 2012)

I think you should wait. It sounds like you are dealing with a lot and it will be very hard to make yourself happy when you are trying to make someone else happy in a relationship. Also, one of two things could happen: He won't be able to make you happy in the relationship because you are unhappy now or he will be able to make you happy and if it ends (it will, you are young) you will be unhappy again because you never became secure/ happy on your own. 

Work on yourself. Truly. You are young and have plenty of time to have relationships. Good luck with everything


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

I agree with lotsoflove. You are 18. I didn't have my first boyfriend till I was 18, and I have had a long and very happy love life 

Give yourself some time. And quit trying so hard -- that's a killer for any relationship. Instead of fixating on getting a boyfriend, work on making yourself more interesting by cultivating hobbies, learning things, etc. And Good Luck!


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## Po12345 (Apr 28, 2011)

If I may ask, seeing where you posted this, in the discussion section for depression and/or anxiety, are there other issues that you yourself are trying to deal with? You touched a little on the birthmark and "OCD", did that guide you to post here? 

Not trying to be nosey, just wondering if we can help


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