# Anything you said about the OW/OM that you regret?



## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

For me it was early on after DD#1, I said to H...you know your overseas EA might have another guy and could even have more than one guy that she is "seeing". Why I said this I don't know..I think back then I was trying to make him think you know she could be "cheating" on you. 

I shudder now when I think about this statement because to me it makes it sound like his OW was so irresistable and so great that she would be able to have all of these boyfriends at once. It makes me sick that I gave her that kind of power in my mind and even in his mind that wow she must be something so hot and desirable that possibly she could have all these boyfriends....so you better be careful dear H. 

When in reality she was gross and disgusting and was so desperate for a guy to look after her financially that finally the first one that paid a little bit of attention she went with it. Whether he was married or not meant nothing to her...she knew how to play the game and when she saw that he was from a first world country she came at him hard.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

I regret that I called her my friend for over 5 years when she was having an affair with my husband for 3+ of them.


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## BURNT KEP (Oct 3, 2012)

Rowan said:


> I regret that I called her my friend for over 5 years when she was having an affair with my husband for 3+ of them.


Ouch


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## Welsh TXN (Feb 4, 2012)

I also regret calling him my friend inviting him into my house while he was going through separation, paying for beer and good and dinners cos he makes no hardly no money other than that no regrets what I said, to be perfectly honest I am glad he took her off my hands before children and he can deal with the toxic family she has
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## distraughtfromtexas (Apr 25, 2013)

I don't regret anything I said about her, to my H or to hers. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Labcoat (Aug 12, 2012)

Why would you regret that? He was probably living under the ego-boosting delusion that he was too irresistible for one woman. It probably never occurred to him that he was just another c*ck on her carousel.

OW/OMs can't possibly be very discerning or confident people. Discerning, confident people generally prefer to invest their time pursuing low-drama, low-risk unattached partners.

The more you can remind a wayward that they have scraped the the bottom-of-the barrel with their decision, the better.


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## Welsh TXN (Feb 4, 2012)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

Not for me.
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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

highwood said:


> OW was so irresistable and so great that she would be able to have all of these boyfriends at once. .


Any loser can get 'boyfriends'... watch Jerry Springer. It doesn't mean you're awesome, it means you know how to use Craigs List.

I mentioned to my wife how when she was lying about me, making crap up about me and our life.. that he was doing the same, and that since his GF had no idea or suspicions (when I asked) that he was cheating, his home life was probably not anywhere near as bad as he made it out to be to her... I also noted that he might have had others and been cheating on her, and he also might have got an STD from his GF who could be sleeping around on him... I regret none of those things. I remind myself that he didn't seduce her, they seduced each other.. it was an equal thing, they both lied and played each other to feed egos... I may also have mentioned he has a beer gut and I"m slim, he has scum tooth and my teeth are perfect, I'm more intelligent etc.. that if you lined up 1000 women, and gave them the choice of him or me, all 1000 would chose me.... She traded down.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I was very careful, so I didn't say anything that I regretted. now I wish I had said more. 

I knew from photographs of her and a meetup profile for a diet club where said that she hoped to loose _(sic)_ 50 pounds before she turned 30 that she was fat. When I was on insecure ground, I was careful not to mention that since I know that men love pointing out when we women are catty. But since I never said it, I can't prove whether he would say it or not.

My fiancé said that at one point I had told him that I wanted nothing to do with her as he was doing his "just a friend" routine. I don't recall saying it but I do recall thinking it. But then I caught him out. When did I say this, I asked. His "memory" of when I said that was about 2 weeks before he even told me about her. So I fixed that one. And was also able to point to a text message in which she said the same about me.


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## distraughtfromtexas (Apr 25, 2013)

russell28 said:


> I may also have mentioned he has a beer gut and I"m slim, he has scum tooth and my teeth are perfect, I'm more intelligent etc.. that if you lined up 1000 women, and gave them the choice of him or me, all 1000 would chose me.... She traded down.


You tell em, Russell!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

One thing I do regret was that I told my wife that the OM has been talking (in early 2012) after I thought she broke it up with him and they had not. She knew I was lying. I wish I would had used a different tactic.


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

highwood said:


> For me it was early on after DD#1, I said to H...you know your overseas EA might have another guy and could even have more than one guy that she is "seeing". Why I said this I don't know..I think back then I was trying to make him think you know she could be "cheating" on you.
> 
> I shudder now when I think about this statement because to me it makes it sound like his OW was so irresistable and so great that she would be able to have all of these boyfriends at once. It makes me sick that I gave her that kind of power in my mind and even in his mind that wow she must be something so hot and desirable that possibly she could have all these boyfriends....so you better be careful dear H.
> 
> When in reality she was gross and disgusting and was so desperate for a guy to look after her financially that finally the first one that paid a little bit of attention she went with it. Whether he was married or not meant nothing to her...she knew how to play the game and when she saw that he was from a first world country she came at him hard.


Highwood....You're mother effing Theresa if this is what you regret.

I applaude you. Also, your H wouldn't have taken it as her being valuable. There's this thing that goes through a cheaters mind where they know they're cheating so others can too. Because of this, they start to expect others to cheat (it's why they project so much). So your words would've had the desired affect, kudos to you.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Nope. She fought for him while we were married and just had a baby. She certainly won and I was happy to leave. I'm in a much better place now and very happy. My husband is faithful and very family oriented.


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## mintypeas (Apr 17, 2013)

two words..... HE!L NO!!!!


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## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

Nothing. I also don't regret the naked pics and email copies I sent to his family and his ex W that he was trying to reconcile with. I don't stringing him along in emails making him think my W was going to move in which caused him to go broke trying to pay his rent thinking my W would be splitting it with him when she came. I also don't regret sending naked pics of him to his family and his XW he was trying to reconcile with, and who was happy to receive the warning. I also don't regret making the notifications that caused his state to become aware he had a new job and go after him for unpaid child support.


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## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

In retrospect I regret going so easy on him...


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## broken30 (Apr 9, 2013)

I wouldn't. I consider and have said more than once that she's nothing more than desperate, needy and pathetic loser who can't even get an available man of her own.
I've never felt inferior or less attractive than her. I also have something she doesn't and never will...MORALS


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## pollywog (May 30, 2013)

Nope don't regret calling a low class low down dirty s*ut. or a home wrecking kinky w*ore that has no moral compass nor does she respect the vows of marriage especially since she whined for months when her third husband cheated on her.

If I could get those vids and pics off his phone I would not regret sending those to her family either  and his if he don't act right.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

As with everyone else, no, I don't regret a damn word I said about OM. Any OM can be Prince Charming in an affair because they don't have to deal with all the day to day challenges real relationships have. Your WS only sees their AP at their best, and none of the warts and quirks. This is why a BS can never compete with the fantasy that their WS has of their affair partner.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

Ovid said:


> In retrospect I regret going so easy on him...


I sent a long email to my W's OM a few days after DDay1. Going back and reading it now - I want to throw up. I was blaming myself way too much, and going way too easy on him. In hindsight I wish I could rewrite that email with something much more poignant and colorful.

But I never said anything ABOUT him to my W that I regret. To her, I said a lot of bad sh!t about him.


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## HarryDoyle (Jan 19, 2013)

No


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## HarryDoyle (Jan 19, 2013)

Wait a minute, what was that question again? Oh. Still NO! In fact, I've been way too nice. But I'm sure the subject will come up again so I still have a chance to say what I really feel. Although, I think the WW has a clue how I feel, just a hunch.


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## jlc29316 (Feb 28, 2013)

No, but I will once the divorce is final. Anything I say now to him that has been told to me could backfire in the divorce proceedings. When its done, I plan on telling him everything that she told me about him....poetic justice.


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## jlc29316 (Feb 28, 2013)

jlc29316 said:


> No, but I will once the divorce is final. Anything I say now to him that has been told to me could backfire in the divorce proceedings. When its done, I plan on telling him everything that she told me about him....poetic justice.


It may seem like sour grapes, but in the end its not. He's getting the raw end of the deal, and it took me 10 years to realize that. In time, if they haven't killed each other (she's crazy and he's an alcoholic), he will know everything.


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