# Sex 4 nights in a row - a new record



## bravo29 (Sep 7, 2014)

To think that just a few years ago I had an unhappy, sexless marriage, that slowly transformed into once weekly, uninspired sessions, to having sex 4 nights in row this week such that I've run out of condoms is quite amazing to me. Thanks to my MC and this forum where I have found great support and camaraderie that have helped push me to make it work. Ultimately my wife did end up changing which I still can't quite believe (and still have my doubts about what the future holds).

Last night she even mentioned getting surgery so we could ditch the condoms altogether. She's initiated and even speaks dirty to me now without me asking. And when I brought up getting blindfolds she was all for it. I told her I'll need a break tomorrow as someone in his forties I feel depleted which we both thought funny because this is the first time in my life where I physically can't do it.

Thanks everyone!


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

knock on woods , bravo .
wish you the best...
how long have you been in a sexless marriage ?
any direct cause ?


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

A SUCCESS STORY!

Finally.................hurrah!

Tell everybody more about the journey from sexlessness to more frequent sex.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

How did you get things to change? What was the underlying reason(s) for the previous sexlessness? It would seem that your wife was not truly LD if she has been able to make this change. What conditions need to exist for your success to work for others?


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

bravo , 

stabilize it at a normal rate .. to keep stability ; 
I had one time a honeymoney with my wife after years of drought ....
it was a full month !

then Puff everything disappeared again for years ....

I don't want to be pessimistic , just my advise slow down to normal , or ... Puff.


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## Sleepsalonefl (Apr 28, 2014)

Good for you, awesome turn around!

I would highly recommend on your "night off" that you spend quality alone time with the wife...tv off, kids in bed, etc and sit (or cuddle, spoon, whatever) and just talk to her. Let her do most of the talking and pay attention. One of the biggest complaints my wife (and many wife's on this forum) is that their husband's "only wants to be close to them to get sex"...etc. 

If it goes well you probably will be able to have a deeper conversation on her sexuality and find out what makes her tick, get to the root of her feelings, why she was LD, what changed, etc....the more deeply you understand her the more likely you will be able to keep the momentum going.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

I have sex every night. Once a week or so my wife will join in.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon1111 (May 29, 2013)

Great result.

I would also love to hear an explanation of the before and after.


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## NosborCrop (Feb 25, 2015)

haha hurrayy good for you!


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Thound said:


> I have sex every night. Once a week or so my wife will join in.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


turn off the second sentence layer and your friends will be impressed and jealous!


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## bravo29 (Sep 7, 2014)

Several years ago while the kid was a toddler and work was hectic for both of us, sex took a backseat for her to the extent that I would consider it a sexless marriage. I would say maybe once every few months with a bump when she tried to get pregnant. After she did it backed down again. Lots of excuses were used similar to what you see posted here all the time. Too tired, not feeling it etc. She also complained that it physically hurt to have sex. Eventually she saw a doctor who told her to use lube. It's true that she was completely dry. It turned out to have a psychological component rather than physical.

Once the kids were older and sex should have recovered and didn't I insisted we see a MC together. (Sex wasn't the only issue but it was important to me as well). When I suggested a MC she flipped out like I have never seen before. She was really angry and blamed me for everything and anything. However after a couple of days of stewing she agreed to go. I had found a local, sex-positive female therapist online.

At the sessions, my wife explained to the MC (who is also in her mid 40s), that at her age sexual desire goes down which is normal etc. The MC was buying none of this however and told her that women can be sexual active throughout their lives. She told her to decide whether the marriage was worth keeping and if not it might be better to get divorced. If she wanted to remain married and still not have much sex then an open marriage should be considered. Well, my wife didn't like these options and slowly, over time, became more sexual active. There were steps forward and steps back (I mentioned a couple of times that it could not continue like this) which you can see in my previous posts. As things recovered she became wet when we had sex all the time and started having orgasms orally and with a vibrator.

These days I decided to be more open with my non-vanilla sex desires as well as listening to my wife, spending more time together etc (as explained by another poster here), she has become more open and receptive as well.

I feel as if she were repressing her sexuality due to culture etc for many years and it took her a long time to open up and be ok with being sexual for herself rather than just doing it for the marriage. I hope it lasts but I'm still nervous of making a mistake that will shut her down so I'm being very gentle with everything lest I rock the boat.


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## Anon1111 (May 29, 2013)

cool that you got a MC that gets it. cool also that your wife actually listened to what the MC had to say instead of rejecting it outright when it didn't confirm her viewpoint.

A couple of additional questions:

how long would you say your marriage was functionally sexless?

how long was the process of recovery from when she started to open up to where you are now?

do you feel as though she is performing "duty sex" at this point or do you think she is actually into it?


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Anon1111 said:


> cool that you got a MC that gets it. cool also that your wife actually listened to what the MC had to say instead of rejecting it outright when it didn't confirm her viewpoint.
> 
> A couple of additional questions:
> 
> ...


This was going to be my question as well.


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## bravo29 (Sep 7, 2014)

"how long would you say your marriage was functionally sexless? "

I would say 1 year really bad (every 3 months), and a few years bad enough (once a month, uninspiring)

"how long was the process of recovery from when she started to open up to where you are now?"

About 3 years. There were ups and downs within this time period, and there'll probably be more in the future.

"do you feel as though she is performing "duty sex" at this point or do you think she is actually into it?"

Right now I don't believe it's duty sex. Every time we have sex she is very wet. Most times she orgasms orally. So presumably it's more enjoyable for her, too. I also know her mannerisms so I know when it's duty sex and not. It feels more natural now that we spend more time together. As for this week, 4 days in a row is definitely not duty sex. Once a week could be, but this week has been crazy. That being said, she doesn't need to do it as often as I, but she likes it too. I just hope it lasts.


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## FatherofTwo (Dec 6, 2014)

Congratulations !! Its nice to see that this could still happen even after the " I Do's " !


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## ChargingCharlie (Nov 14, 2012)

Good for you. We've had sex four times in the past four plus years, so nice to know it can come back.


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## jolyajones (Feb 25, 2015)

that is success story tell to everybody.


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