# Hang on or give up?



## Emma1981

So I posted on here sometime back for anyone who has seen my user name before, but for those who haven’t here is a quick recap. 

My husband is suffering from PTSD (former Marine) and depression … told me he wanted a divorce in Dec of 2011. He wanted to move home with his parents (small town on the other side of the state) to re-center. Without much progress and needing a change, I moved from the residence we shared (Seattle) to Las Vegas in June for a new job opportunity. Communication dwindled and I ended up sending him papers which he didn’t want to sign. Since we “sat on them” I ended up changing my mind and continued our limbo state. Finally he has started to come around and we agreed to see each other back in Seattle around the holidays. The 3 days we spent together were great, he feels he is finally coming out of his mental “hole” and wants to see if we can work things out. As communication has been rough for him (not just with me but with anyone … he has been isolating himself less work and school), he wants to take baby steps and see each other again. 

So since I have been back in Las Vegas, he has had one phone call with me which I initiated and texts almost daily. Now this is more than I have seen in quite some time, but it’s not enough. I send texts and he will take forever to respond, I’ll send pics and he won’t say anything back (even though he always asks for pics), I’ll call and he’ll just send a text response. Even though this is “something” and he was finally able to see me and now making efforts in his life at “home,” I am just out of energy for this. If at any point things were to begin turning around it would be now but I am just so tired. 

Now sure what I am looking for here, just any advice?


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## dormant

Do you want it to work out? Take your time and really think about it. If you indeed do want it to work, then the energy will be there to do it.


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## Emma1981

I am madly in love with this man - but living for for 9 months in almost complete silence, not seeing him, no phone calls. Can a person live this way? I guess they can because I have ... then reality sets in, will waiting really produce results or am I wasting my time?


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## dormant

Of course, I have an opinion, but you are the only one that can answer this. Either way, make a plan, then go with it.

I truly wish you the best.


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## Emma1981

dormant said:


> Of course, I have an opinion, but you are the only one that can answer this. Either way, make a plan, then go with it.
> 
> I truly wish you the best.


What is your opinion?


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## dormant

You have to take care of yourself. If he isn't emotionally or physically available and won't be anytime soon. Let him go.


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## Emma1981

Thank you for your response.

My mission has always been to take care of myself, that being said, I love this man ... and hope has kept me going. I just feel like I am at the final leg and while he is ready to begin "figuring this thing out," less it is a radical change, I am not sure if I can endure baby steps. I realize what he is going through is so much bigger than us, but I was shut out of his life to work through this as a married couple and left to pull through on my own. I love myself and I love him, I just don't know what to do at this point.

Where he is at he cannot handle any conflict - so while I want to have tough discussions and define my needs, he's not there yet. Even though it's not intentional, I end up feeling like a doormat.


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## MSC71

If you love him then try. You have to consider his PTSD and how that may have something to do with him not responding right away. He could be sleeping , going through a tough time or it could be meds. Maybe you should ask him point blank why he doesn't respond .


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## Why Not Be Happy?

Take care of yourself first.
Why not write up exactly what you need in the relationship and talk to him face to face about it (then send it to him in writing)?
Ask him if that works for him and see what he wants.
If you are truly on the same page; give it a try (counseling together could help). If your hopes and dreams and expectations are not on the same page-----it may be time to end it.
Good luck!


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## Emma1981

We are not in the same state - he is in WA and I am in NV. As I am the one who has the financial means, that requires me flying to WA, and him making the 2 hour drive to pick me up (he is in a small town). While this is something I am willing to do (I offered to spend a week out there next month), he has yet to respond if that's something he is comfortable with. That being said, it makes face to face conversations hard and counseling really hard.


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## Emma1981

IDK it's been 3 days and nothing from him - doesn't respond to me calling, emails or texts. I just don't know what to do anymore.


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## 1lostintranslation

I am in a kinda similar situation so I can relate. What I can say is that it is very difficult to go on in a situation where you don't know what is going to happen or even where you stand. As a woman you have needs and some of those emotions must be met in order to feel safe in a relationship with a man. Once they aren't met this is where the limbo comes in. First things first evaluate the relationship and determine whether it is worth it or not to continue on in the current state. If so....keep doing what you are doing. Just remember though you have to be happy either way. And if you decide to continue it is a POSSIBILITY things may NEVER change. You have to decide if you are OK with that. Good Luck to you!!!


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## Ralphsmom

Wow, I too am in a similar situation. My husband returned from Afghanistan in June of last year and I have only seen him 4 brief times since then. I believe he was suffering badly from PTSD at the time, but he wouldn't get help. He just said that too much had happened and he didn't want to be married anymore. It is now almost February and I still haven't received divorce papers, but neither are we talking, and we live in the same town. So I know your frustration, because I want to take care of myself and just say forget him, if this is how he's going to be, but I can't just walk away. One, because it's my marriage, and I didn't marry him just until it got tough, I married him for life. And two, I have no idea what happened to him, or what he is struggling with. I hate this situation, and have tried to figure out what to do so many times, but at the end of the day I have just had to let go of the situation, give it to God, and take care of myself. Not to say that I don't hope for restoration, I do, but nothing I do works with my husband so I just have to sit quietly until he is ready to move forward or divorce me. HARD!!! 
I wish I could give you some words of wisdom with regard to this, but the truth is, PTSD is impossible to understand, and so are the actions of someone that has it. I can't tell you what to do, but if you love your husband, which it sounds like you do, hang on to that. It's so much harder to do than just walking away, but when you love somebody and you have committed to being with them for better or for worse, I really believe that there are blessings on the other side of this hardship, if you have the strength to get through it. Because if you and your husband can get through this difficulty, what would ever stand between you again? Absolutely nothing.
I hope that offers you some help, and if nothing else some encouragement that you aren't alone in what you are going through. I will pray for you, for some peace in your situation and for some clarity on what to do. God bless...


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## Emma1981

Wow, it is nice hearing from others. Thank you for the responses. I have felt incredibly alone in this situation and while I don't wish this on anyone, other people that understand is helpful.

He ended up missing for 5 days (again he lives in WA and I am in NV, missing being he responded to no communication)- when he came around he said he was thinking (again) divorce is the only option for us since he can't meet my needs anytime soon (needs being we need to start communicating, calls, texts etc). I said OK, lets start the process and he back peddled saying he was having a bad week and this is why he avoided me.

While I love him more than anything, I feel like I am being an enabler. His family doesn't encourage him to seek any type of help, they are just happy to have their son home. 

This is the email I sent to him yesterday (btw "cheep" is our pet name for each other).

"So here it is … you might be thinking I am doing this for myself but I’m not. I had a long conversation with my mother on Sunday about why I can’t let go considering I get nothing but heartache concerning our situation. As I told her, I love you too much to leave you – people have naturally assumed that I am here for you, because of what you are going though … that has never been the case, I am here for me, because you are the love of my life. As much pain as I have been through, I can’t leave you. Then I realized that this situation adds stress to your life and adds further cloud to an already dreary sky. A question popped into my head (after heavy prayer and requesting direction) – “What if you leaving him would save him? What if you knew he would have a better life without you in it, would you go?” Yes, yes I would, even though I want to be cheeps. Thus, while I don’t know much anymore, I know I love you and I know that if leaving you meant a better life for YOU, I have the strength to go.

I realize nothing in this life is guaranteed, but I have to believe that change and relief from additional stress is something that will prompt you to have a better life. I will gladly sacrifice our marriage and love, to give you a chance. You don’t know what you need but from everything I have seen for 13 months, what’s been going on isn't working and I can no longer support this. I realize the problem is bigger than us, but “we” in our current state doesn't help.

So here it is …

1. We either reunite as a team – I am not saying we have to know if we will be married for the next 50 years, but we start working together. This is not “trying,” this is about DOING even if it’s uncomfortable. I will work with you to work through w/e is going on, I will battle the trenches with out and we figure this thing out together. No more disappearing on me for 5 days, or living in silence. I might be one of the best resources you have and you can use me for this, I will love you through your process, help you, and will work on being cheeps in the process. I love you and will surely get dirty with you – w/e it takes, so long as we begin doing this as a team.

2. We jointly file for divorce.

3. If you can’t make a decision to do either, I am going to have you served. This is my least favorite option but if you can’t do anything due to your “head,”(which I understand) well I guess this is what I must do. I love you enough to leave you, even against your will.

That’s it cheep. You might think this is rash, but I would hope after the 13 months we have been through you see that it’s not. Regardless of the outcome, even if it seems stressful and bleak now, I think you will thank me one day … as your wife, as your friend or as a distant memory of someone who loved you as much as she loved herself.

The choice is yours – I’m giving this one week. I support w/e you do or don’t do … I will love you regardless. You are my life, my heart, my reason, my soul mate. 

Your Wife."


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## MrsQualls

I just recently posted my situation on here, but I haven't gotten any responses. Your story has some similarities to mine, but mine is way more jacked up I think. I was just wondering how you feel about reconciling after 9 months of living in separate states. Do you wonder what he has been doing? Does it constitute as cheating because you are technically still married? And if you do get back together, should there be some type of recommitment ceremony? These are all things I'm wondering because me and my husband have been separated for 7 months and he too is in another state. I know my man as far as his "needs", and there is no way he hasn't been with anyone else.


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## Emma1981

MrsQualls said:


> I just recently posted my situation on here, but I haven't gotten any responses. Your story has some similarities to mine, but mine is way more jacked up I think. I was just wondering how you feel about reconciling after 9 months of living in separate states. Do you wonder what he has been doing? Does it constitute as cheating because you are technically still married? And if you do get back together, should there be some type of recommitment ceremony? These are all things I'm wondering because me and my husband have been separated for 7 months and he too is in another state. I know my man as far as his "needs", and there is no way he hasn't been with anyone else.


Those are boundaries you should set with your husband - we agreed to "freedom" around August but he is too depressed to act on anything. I did date but due to my heart, did not make it past the second date with anyone and did nothing more than hold hands. Had he engaged in sexual conduct, at this point - sex is the least of my worries. This is a matter of the heart and life.

Yes, we both want a re-commitment ceremony should we reconcile.


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## Ralphsmom

My heart just hurts for all of us going through this....

I can so relate to your struggle, and the email you shared could pretty much have been like ones I've written myself over the past 7 months. I have tried sending encouraging emails, I have tried leaving him alone, I have tried sending him little gifts.....and like you, I have gotten to that point where something has to give. Living in this state of limbo like we do, where nothing is moving forward but divorce isn't happening either is more painful than what most people can understand. I too feel like he is living a life that allows him to ignore the pain he is causing me. He has surrounded himself with people that don't know of our situation, thereby don't ask him questions and don't think anything of him except that he is a "good guy". I had gotten the tiniest bit of encouragement right before Christmas, that maybe he was starting to come around a bit, even to just TALK to me once in awhile, and I ran with that, and it ended up pushing him even farther away. So I have had to settle with absolute silence from him. And I struggle constantly with trying to be happy and content with my life and my situation while not having any answers or understanding about why he is doing this to me. And it is just hard....BUT. He hasn't filed for divorce. He is doubting. He would have filed already if he were sure....he is gaining nothing by being married to me, so why not just end it if that's truly what he wants? I take that as a sign that God is working in his heart and mind, which is what I want to happen. Because I don't want my husband back the way that he is now, I don't want him back the way he was before he deployed. I want him back as a new man, one who is responsible and understands what it means to truly love someone and how important communication is....and I am praying and trusting that God is going to make that happen. While it is hard not to push the issue, while the silence is sometimes deafening, time is definitely my friend, and maybe your husband needs more too? It's a fine line to walk, knowing when the right moment is to push the envelope, to force their hand, and when to just practice patience and wait some more....and there isn't really anywhere to turn that can give you the answers. Unless you are a believer, in that case I would encourage you to turn to the Lord and ask Him what you need to do? That is what I have taken to doing, and it has made a world of difference. 
I have taken a great deal of comfort and direction from an online ministry I've found, Welcome to Encouraging Women. It was founded by a woman who's husband left her, and the struggles that she went through. It's really been helpful in that it has helped me work on ME, not so much on worrying about what my husband is or isn't doing. And that has helped a great deal. 
And I truly wish there was something more I could say or do, but truly, I will pray for you and your situation. If I can do nothing else for you, I can do that.


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## Emma1981

RM - my goodness. I am so sorry to hear about your struggle. I think so long as we are abiding by our heart, there is no right or wrong answer in this situation (i.e. us staying or us "forcing their hand). 

Well I did send that email and I am sticking with my plan. My prayer led me to the questions that were posed in said email (if you knew by leaving him his life would improve would you go ...). I know our situation provides much stress in his life and I can no longer enable or contribute. Sometimes they have to hit bottom before they can begin the long climb back up and unfortunately, I think that's what might have to happen in my case. Divorce isn't always the end, but regardless it will be a catalyst for change. 

That being said on a more selfish note, I am turning 32 this year and desire a family ... being that he doesn't seem to be coming around ... thinking about finding someone, falling in love, getting married, all within a reasonable time frame for an "easier" natural birth has been weighing on me more and more. 

If I were to bet on my situation I think he is going to led me serve him, thus he doesn't have to make a decision ... he won't contest it and 20 days past that I can proceed forward without him. He will make a decision regardless of his action or inaction.


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## Ralphsmom

You are absolutely right, divorce doesn't have to mean the end. If you believe that what you are doing is the right thing for your situation, then that is what you have to do. And I hope that it works out for the best for both of you..
I have thought the same thing, is letting go of my husband the best thing for him, but my situation is so very different. I waited many years for my husband to come along, and when he finally did I was scared to death to let him into my heart for fear of just this sort of thing happening. I was scared, and he worked very hard to convince me that he would love me forever and never leave me. Well, here we are 5 years later, and he has hurt me worse than anyone ever could have, more than I could have ever dreamed. And I am struggling to understand, why would he and I have ever been put in a situation where we would meet each other and fall madly in love with each other if this was to be the end result? I believe that we were brought together for a reason, and I can't understand what has happened to him, but I can't just walk away either. I've been tempted, and spoken to many lawyers, and even started the process of filing for separation myself, but in every case I was so unsettled and unhappy and discontented with that situation. I believe God was telling me that filing for divorce and giving up hope wasn't the right thing for me. If whatever decision you make gives you peace and you feel contented with it, as hard as it may be, then you have to believe that's what you are supposed to do.
I'm sorry if this is rambling, I am in class and trying to pay attention while responding to you, but I feel like this is important! I have been so overwhelmed by how many women there are like me, struggling through separation and trying to understand what's happening and what to do....and I just want to reach out and share my story in the hopes that we can all kind of struggle through together. It's so sad when someone you love distances themself from you, so inexplicably, and leaves you to make decisions that you don't want to make. I just keep praying for all of us, for strength and courage and peace. 
Hope this makes some kind of sense!  God bless.


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## Emma1981

RM - I feel the same. The likelihood of us meeting and falling in love is a one in a billion chance and how it all happened (I am writing a book about it one day regardless). I know this man is my soul mate ... soul mates are best served as our catalysts for growth, with no guarantee if a fruitful marriage will be in the cards (as most humans tend to grow through pleasure vs pain, it can often be the latter as you now have a mirror to yourself). 

Did you ever see the movie "What Dreams May Come?" That was our movie ... one of the last texts I sent him referenced the part where after Robin William's death he can't leave his wife (his spirit stays with her). Instead of helping her it tortures her ... in the end he leaves for her own well being. That is how I feel, my love is harming him.


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## Ralphsmom

I did see it, a long time ago. I know what you are meaning, and I don't know what the right answer is. My husband is the best friend I've ever had, and I've never been closer to anyone in my life. But he changed with deployment, and I don't really even know who he is anymore....is the man I love still in there somewhere? Do I hold onto hope that he will come back from wherever he is currently, wake up to what he's doing to me, and change his ways? I know what we've meant to each other, and how close we were, and I cannot even fathom being that close to another human being. You talked about getting married again and having a family...I think it's too late for me. This was my one chance at a family, and I don't think I could ever trust any man ever again after what I have gone through, so I face a long lonely life if our marriage dissolves. And that may be the difference for me, for why I am hanging on. I can't at all fault you for doing what you are doing, there are many many days when I wish I could just let go, turn and walk away, and find a new family. Truly.
I hope that whatever results from you serving him the papers is what is best for both of you. Maybe it will be the wake up call that he needs?


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## Emma1981

LOL I'm not saying I will find someone - he is the great love of my life, but I need to try. I guess I am "open" as there is a plan for me. While "I" thought it was with my husband that is not always the plan of the world ... we might stay together, we might separate, I might meet someone, I might become the cat lady or I might adopt. One thing I have learned is to have no expectations in life ... while I would consider myself a non-denominational christian, I am also a Buddhist (I try and not label things though, but just for explanation sake). Life is perfect and so long as I am acting with my heart, life will unfold in accordance. I have no regrets, I try and not label things or worry ... there is no point. 

Yes, this might be his wake up call but I also try and not have hope, I already made peace with whatever life gives me. What the world wants for me will happen - and pushing a wheel barrel up a hill will only make it more difficult - I can let it happen naturally, or I can try and force something and cause additional strain only to get the same result. 

The only thing I do know is what you and I are doing is perfect - when change is needed we will know what to do and when.


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## Ralphsmom

I agree, we are both right on track, as painful as that track may be at times. 
I hope that others can gain some encouragement from this, I know when my situation first began I was looking for help everywhere and from everyone and it didn't seem like anyone could understand. It is such a tough road to travel, and it helps to know there are others that are struggling along it too.


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## Emma1981

Was your husband in direct combat?

My husband has never had an official diagnosis and was never in direct combat - he served as a Marine for 5 years, then went into security contracting finishing in Iraq (then we got married). Basically he never spent much time state side 18-25 ... I know he has witnessed some things and from stories there was a lot of threat and stress regardless. 

His "symptoms" have been loss of self, confusion, isolation, anger, feels like everyone is out to get him .... has coped with mj and alcohol at times, never having went to therapy.


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## Ralphsmom

Same here, he has never been diagnosed, nor has he sought help. He was not in direct combat either, he was on an airbase and never fired his weapon, however he was surrounded by Afghan military all the time, which I think created an underlying stress that was constant for a year, and he just kind of fell apart. When he came home last June he didn't want anyone there to meet him when he got off the plane, and it was several months before he even spoke to his dad or sister. I think a big part of his issue right now is guilt and shame, he can't face me because he knows what he's done, and even he is surprised at how much he has been changed by this situation. It makes me sad for him, I just feel like he doesn't really know what he's doing or what he wants. When he first came home, he just said he wanted to be divorced, that just too much had happened. Now, the few times I've talked to him, he just says he's trying to figure things out and doesn't know what he wants. It's very confusing and frustrating, but I am just trusting God that whatever is happening is what needs to happen. By letting Him take control of the situation and trusting that He is going to take care of me, so much stress and pressure is off of me. I can just take care of myself and do what I need to do and let go of the rest of it. It has taken me a long time to get to this point, but I finally am content with my situation and with whatever happens, though I definitely do NOT want to be divorced!


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## Emma1981

Same here - completes loss of self and doesn't know what he wants with anything in life. 

How old is your husband? Mine is 28.

He came home and "seemed" ok - he was happy to be married and we took over a business. Our relationship became stressful (fighting) and he eventually shut down telling me he wanted to move home and get a D in Dec 2011. IDK there were plenty of signs ... I guess I came to think sleeping next to a glock every night was normal?


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## Ralphsmom

Mine is 26, and I am also in my 30's. So we have an age difference to deal with as well, I don't have many child-bearing years left to have a family. I was so scared that deploying would change him, I had no idea how much it would. We struggled the last 4 months that he was deployed, because he completely withdrew from me, wouldn't talk to me, and I was trying to get answers from him as to what was going on. He at some point while he was over there decided he didn't want to be married anymore, I guess, but he didn't bother to tell me that. He just shipped his belongings home to his mom's house, and when he came home, he moved in with her. I saw him a few times the first few months he was home, and he was angry or highly emotional, but definitely not right. I have been trying to get him to just sit down to a meal with me, so that we can talk about what happens now, and he will say that he will come, but then he cancels at the last minute. He doesn't respond to text messages, won't pick up the phone if I call, and doesn't want me to know where he lives. I've accused of there being another woman, which he denies over and over again. I have tried to be encouraging to him, tried to tell him that I'm here for him if he needs anything, but nothing gets through to him. He just goes about his life as though I never existed. Yet he won't file for divorce...I don't know what I would do if not for my family and my faith, I would be lost without either of those things. I am doing my best to forgive him over and over again, so that I don't end up a bitter old lady, but it is a daily process. 
It's funny, you mentioning cats...I worry that I am going to be that woman, the lonely old woman who is stuck in a relationship that ended years ago and does nothing but work and has 8 cats. Or maybe dogs....but I just see myself with anyone else. Not that I couldn't find someone else, but when you've promised to love somebody for your whole life no matter what awful things happen to you....I don't know how to make that promise to someone else and mean it? 
Just such a sad thing....there was no fighting, he just ended it. And I am left with no closure or understanding. Hard to be positive or think the best in this situation, but I am determined to do just that.


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## Emma1981

Well I think today is it. I gave him a deadline of yesterday - he texted me in the morning saying he would call later. I never heard from him so finally at 10pm I texted saying I understood his decision and I was sorry it had to end like this. He responded around 11 saying he didn't want to bother me at work and he had been working in the evening and he can talk tomorrow (... who cares about work right now???). I sent him a a few texts saying I just can't sleep on this and to please call me now ... I get a text around 3am saying he just got my text and he'll sleep by his phone if I want to call. Well I texted him when I got up for work at 5am asking for him to call me when he gets up. I'm sure I know what the deal is, not sure why it took a week and/or why he can't just say it. The past 14 months have felt so long and I am so tired.


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## Ralphsmom

I'm so sorry and I will be thinking of you....I completely know what you are going through. You feel like you need to let go, but you don't want to, because you still love him, yet he doesn't give you anything to go on, so you are clinging to hope.....I know that place well. I feel the same about my husband, it's as though what he says and what he does are two different things, whether he's saying he wants to move on and wants a divorce but then doesn't file, or whether he says he misses me and will call me or text me then doesn't. Our boys are just so messed up, and we are the innocent bystanders victimized by it. 
I know it's hard, but just keep breathing. And I know you are tired, I too am weary of this journey. But don't lose hope. If we lose hope, what do we have left? Feel free to vent to me or cry to me or whatever, I really, truly understand. Praying for some peace for you.....


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## Emma1981

That just made me cry again - such kind words from a stranger. You know I shared your story with a few people whom are close to me (including him) and they couldn't believe how similar our stories are. it just breaks my heart for you, it really does. 

I think he is just going to tell me he can't do it and is going to be sending the paperwork back. You think you are ready, you think you are strong and it won't matter, but when it comes down to it I was crying my eyes out last night feeling like my heart was being torn out of my chest. I guess in many ways while hope gave me grief, it also allowed me to keep it together thinking "it might still work..." even though limbo is painful. I know I have to go through this part though to get to the other side and I have been stalling on it as long as I could.


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## Ralphsmom

It shouldn't be easy, ending something that means so much to you, that is so precious. The world is so accustomed to divorce, it's just part of our landscape now, but it is an awful, awful thing to actually experience yourself. Especially when you are so blindsided by it as we have been. I, too, think at times "it's okay, it's for my best because he hasn't been good to me anyway, I will be alright, there will be someone else out there for me", and I'm at least in that moment, okay. And then it's as you described, reality sets in and you realize that you are losing your buddy, your best friend, and things will never be as you had hoped, planned and dreamed. And it just hurts horribly bad. 
I will pray that he has a breakthrough, that he is having second thoughts and reconsidering and will tell you something unexpected. Because I don't know anything else to do. Cry as much as you need to, don't hold back, it is a painful thing that not many people really understand. I've learned that, if nothing else, so I am glad that I can be of some comfort to you.


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## Emma1981

Thank you.

Just pray that w/e the outcome is, it is in the highest order of what needs to happen ... I know often times we "want" things but in reality it's not the ideal situation for our life (i.e. imagine if we got everything that we wanted). That being said, just pray for both of our peace, w/e the outcome is. 

I'll report back on here later. 

XOXO


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## Ralphsmom

My prayers have become, in my situation, "Your will be done, whatever that means for me". Which is really really hard, because that might mean the end of my marriage, but I am trusting that His way is best and I will be okay, at the end of all this. 

I will pray the same for you. And being able to talk to someone going through this same thing is such a blessing to me, honestly, because no one in my life can truly understand this. I had actually been communicating via forums with another woman who lives in New York, and her situation was also exactly like mine, and she was a huge encouragement/friend to me through many months of struggle. I lost communication with he, because the forum we talked through shut down, so finding you has been a huge help. Because she was able to encourage me, I hopefully have been able to encourage you, which is exactly what we are supposed to do for each other through times like these. Try to give the encouragement we so desperately need for ourselves....

God bless. Prayers going up. Stay strong.


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## Ralphsmom

I hope your day has gone better than mine has, and I pray that whatever has happened you have some peace?

I have had a very hard day myself. My husband sent me a few texts on saturday telling me that he was done, that he still cared but his heart wasn't in it anymore, and that it was best we just move on, and ever since then I've been struggling. I send him messages every day that don't get responded to, trying to stay happy and positive, just asking him to spend some time with me before making the decision to divorce me. And I've tried calling him a few times, and he won't pick up the phone, and won't respond to texts anymore....and I just came home from school today and cried and cried. Fell apart, as I have done so many other times before throughout this process, wondering if it is ever going to feel better, if I will ever get over this. 

And I say all of that just to let you know that whatever you are going through right now, you aren't alone. And I know that it will get better, for both of us, one way or another, one day. We have a long painful road to travel yet, but things have to get better.

Rest well tonight, if rest will come,

Erica


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