# The Problem I'm Facing



## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

Short story, going through a divorce, got the "I love you but not in love with you anymore" speech a month ago. Since then I've moved out of the house, living with a coworker, seeing my two kids as much as I can. I'm doing better on a day to day basis, started to go to a divorce support group at a local church. The issue that I repeatedly deal with is wondering/hoping/thinking that at some point my wife will realize that she is throwing everything she has away, and is looking for what she already has. In my mind I have to get rid of the vindictive feeling of hoping her walls come crashing down in the future, that she will realize what a colossial mistake she made. I know that this is not healthy for me to focus on, because if/when it happens she probably won't even tell me. Has anyone experienced this feeling, how did you move on from it?


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## jono (Jan 1, 2012)

Currently going through it. It's awful. All I can hope for is my wife changes her mind. She is in a very confused place at the moment & myself & the marriage have become one of the "casualties of war" as it were.

I certainly don't feel any ill will towards her but I do desperately hope she changes her mind.

You need to keep busy - which is incredibly hard. Find ways to occupy your mind, even if it's going for a jog or something because the more time you have to think, the more it drives you crazy.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

Yeah the paperwork for petition was filed on Tuesday, 120 day waiting period. It was a punch to the gut to see the reason listed as "irretrievably broken", I don't feel that way but she does. I mentally realize that the last year the woman she has become is not the wife I fell in love with, the person I know. She has become more selfish/vain in what she wants out of life. She had a big weight loss over the last year and a half, so I feel like she feels like now she has to test the waters again. It's a shame she couldn't be happy within the confines of our marriage. I'm doing good for me, I'm going to a divorce support group. The tough thing is we have to talk daily because of the kids, and their are times it seems like when she has a bad day she still wants to try to lean on me for support. Things she says makes me over analyze them, which I know I can't do. That's the tough thing, over analyzing, playing the "what if" game. It's toxic to my system, but I still can't stop myself from doing this.


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