# I've fallen out of love



## Ravenxster (Jul 10, 2010)

well where to start,I have been together with my wife for 19 yrs,i have a step daughter and a daughter with her,they are 19 and 14.

It started about 2.5 yrs ago,she moved out because she was tired of the fighting with me and the step daughter becuase mom would let her do what she wanted so she would have to argue with her,and dad would say no.But when she moved out the step daughter stayed with me.

She moved in with a girlfriend and within 2 months she had gone on line to her facebook and other sites and posted that is was done and over with,how it was a good run that it lasted as long as it did,but it was time to move on.

It was about the third month that she quit her job,hadn't made no payments on the new car,and was commited ,and diagnosed with bi-polar

She wanted to come back home,i said ok,she been on medication the whole time now,I gave up my job of 7yrsand pulled the kids out of school so she could be closer to her brother,and family,that didn't last,I couldn't live like that.

I moved back,got a new job all she wants to do is sit on the couch and watch tv all day,and used the bi-polar thing as an excuse,she is fine to drive 500 miles alone to see her brother for weeks at a time,or take off and go and see her friends,but can't work.

I have lost all feelings for her,we just pretend to be a happy family,I tell her all the time to go and stay with her brother,and she thinks Im jokeing

I now have my checks being garnished because of her actions and the car getting repo,and her noth paying her student loans ,which adds to more of my bad feelings towards her

I can see that it is affecting my 14 yr,becuase she will ask her mom to do something and she always has an excuse to not do it,she is not really being a mom to her any more,but she does everything still for my step daughter,that is pregnant

How do I tell her we need to go our seperate ways,that it's over? with her haveing bi-polar

I need to have my life back,i still have a 14 yr old that I need to take care of and be there for


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## Viper2 (Jun 21, 2010)

I did the same thing, your 14yr old needs you...your wife is an adult she can make choices. Dont let your child suffer because your wife makes the wrong choices.


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## guiltygirl (Aug 8, 2008)

I am BP too. It really sounds like your wife isn't on the right meds. Has she followed up with the Dr. ? Most of the things she is doing are characteristic of BP. That's not saying you have to put up with it. That is your decision. But, if she is continuing to do these things, it seems that the meds aren't working. (I know I'm not a Dr. and I'm sorry if I sound presumptuous.) 

I think being married to someone with BP has got to be one of the most difficult things. I don't know how my husband puts up with me and the things I've done. We've been married for 13 years though, and we have had many ups and downs. Counseling is a good option. I totally sympathize with your situation. It sounds like you have gone above and beyond to make your relationship work; in addition, you are in a really bad situation as a result of her choices. She has to decide to take action and do something about her BP issues, or they will only get worse. 

You must understand that living with BP is difficult and it will always be there. My husband has committed to being here for me, despite my ups and downs. I have definitely given him reasons to leave. Ultimately, you have to decide if your relationship is worth fighting for. If you believe it is, you have to somehow get her to realize she needs help. If she is unwilling, then there isn't really anything else you can do.

You definitely need to make your child a priority, but don't make any rash decisions. Once you follow through, it is difficult to go back. I must say though, if I were in your situation, it would be hard to continue on the path you're on. I hope your wife gets the help she needs, and I hope that, regardless of what you decide to do, that your life situation improves. Good luck!


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