# I just want to have fun...



## Twice (Mar 31, 2013)

My cheater GF has come full circle...

Last year at this time she was fully involved in a PA with an old flame. We are separated. I live in an apt here in town. We work together so we have been in constant contact with each other for the entire year.

Her OM turns out to be in the end a total zero. Sure they had the initial high from being together but in the end he was total screwed up and not someone who she could ever be with. ( I told her that was how it would end )

Their PA ended in January. The mental and emotional part took till mid May, but is also now dead and done. I have confirmed it with the OM brother. 

I have been dating but have not met anyone I want to be with. I do still want her.

Last night she said to me (2 o'clock phone call) she needed to reconnect with herself and her live. She said she has been backing away from everything and everyone. She said she needs to reconnect with me so she could feel comfortable again. 

This morning she called me and said she couldn't just jump in full force ( me move back in...commit to us for the rest of her life, etc. etc.) but she did want to have some fun with me again. See if we can connect. Try laughing again.

So if I wanted to "just have fun" this summer, she wants that too... 

What do you think? Reconsilation? Rekindle? Reconnect?


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Tell her to have a nice life. You shouldn't be her safety net anymore. She can find herself on someone else's dime...


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## aeasty (Jun 5, 2013)

I'm probably not one to be giving advise as I'm looking down a divorce barrel at the moment but I wouldn't do anything more then maybe one or 2 dates if she uses you like a consultation prize then leave her at the date and get on with it. No point driving down a dead end road if you can avoid it


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

She doesn't sound like fun.
Move on with your life.


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## Davelli0331 (Apr 29, 2011)

She went and had her fling while you patiently waited for a year. Since her plan A didn't work out, you're content with being her plan B? 

She got to go out and have her fun while you sat back and let her do her thing, and you're OK with that? I don't know your GF, but I'd bet a paycheck that the only reason she's back with you now is bc her fling fizzled out. And lucky for her, you're sitting there waiting for her like a kicked puppy.

I don't buy into the whole "once a cheater, always a cheater", but this chick was totally fine with letting you sit on the sideline for a year while she pursued a life with this other guy. That's pretty cold. Are you going to be willing to give up yet another year of your life when this chick finds her next fling?

Let this chick go, and I would suggest go work on yourself for a while. You sound like you may have some self-respect issues if you think this kind of woman is worthy of the rest of your life.


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

Remove her from your life, you deserve a lot better.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Please don't settle for a woman who treats you like this.. so you think you love her.. Lopsided / unbalanced Love is a train wreck waiting to happen... she has already proven her character by cheating on you.....

You are her Comfort guy, the responsible one ... the one who is waiting in the wings to fall back upon when she gets dumped by - well it appears total losers - or whatever she thinks she is after...her head is in the clouds...she is not ready for any sort of commitment... especially to a worthy man ... I guess I hate to see the Good Guys put down, and used... it's just not right.

If she can fall for a Loser ex.. who has no future and cheat on you, what do you think will happen in the future if a said man is not even a loser and opportunity presents itself. 

Let her feel what she has lost, don't cave... if she doesn't come begging to come back to you... after all she has done, feeling a great remorse... she is simply *not* worthy of you.... You deserve better.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Your ex-GF is an ex for a reason. She cheated on you, went off with somebody else, then when it was over (and she found herself at a loose end) decided that she might like to have fun with you. If you want to be her playmate until she finds someone else, that's up to you, but I think you're letting yourself in for a lot of heartache with a woman whose already shown you what she's like.


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## JustHer (Mar 12, 2013)

Twice said:


> My cheater GF has come full circle...
> 
> _Last year at this time she was fully involved in a PA with an old flame. We are separated._ I live in an apt here in town. We work together so we have been in constant contact with each other for the entire year.
> 
> ...


You stated in your post that you still want her. I suppose there is a chance she may be able to return your feelings at some point. What you need to concider is the fact that she already thought she found someone better and dumped you for him. It didn't turn out so now she is "wanting to have fun with you", not wanting to get back together. If this does turn back into you two reconnecting, is she then going to feel like she won the jackpot, or is she still going to be thinking there is someone better out there?

Do you want to be the person she settles for, or do you want to be with someone that thinks you are number one?


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

I do believe that "once a betrayer, always a betrayer", but this is a POV situation.

If the two of you just want to be friends, have a few laughs, some sex, see other people... that's fine.

But if you're thinking of something more serious or long term I think you're sadly mistaken.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I would suggest just keep on moving on. Sever the connection, start a new "fun" relationship with someone new. Someone who hasn't had a turn at kicking you in the nuts.

C


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

I think you need to develop a higher level of self-respect and self-worth.

She has shown you what she's like. She has a much higher chance of cheating on you again. And she had already shown no respect for you by cheating on you and showing you she doesn't care about you as much as you think she does.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

One word: DONT!


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Think of another way to have fun that doesn't involve her. You are Plan B. Do you want to spend your life that way?


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## Youngwifeylovesherhubby (May 8, 2013)

When someone calls at 2 am it screams booty call. Not saying it is, but in my experience "having fun" with your ex is only fun until the emotions resurface. 

If you still have feelings for her at all I would not recommend it.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

You can't move forward if you are 'just having fun' with her. Let her go.


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