# Back again and venting



## 5Creed (May 29, 2011)

I feel I am getting better, moving on and taking care of my kids and myself and bam out of the blue it all hits me again. So today is one of those days where I question what has happened to me this year. I don't understand-why the hell am I trying to?-why my husband did this to his family and me. I wish he would be honest with me about everything that happened with his EA/possible PA. 

I think I know in my heart that it was physical; I mean can you see someone at work every day and work beside them, call and text almost every day outside of work and not be physical with them? He finally admitted that they talked about our sex life and how he wishes it was more fulfilling with me. Yeah; after he treats me like sh*t and doesn't respect me anymore, 'I' am the one getting complained about because I don't feel like having sex with him?!? Hmmmm...

The other part about this that is hard and has me feeling like I am stuck in limboland is that our house has not sold and my lawyer has suggested I wait to finalize the divorce until it does. I just hope it doesn't take a year as I want to move on. Usually I do OK; today is just one of those days that has me feeling sorry for myself all over again and reminds me that I did not sign up to be a single parent or for this life!


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## hurtingsobad (Oct 29, 2011)

5Creed,

Hang in there! You are WAY further along than me, so look back at all the FORWARD progress you have made! :smthumbup:

Are you a better person than when this first happened? My guess is YES, by far! :smthumbup:

As a man, I have pulled over in traffic and started crying out of the blue...it is a necessity for us BS to grieve.

Call me emotional, call me a crybaby...but I am getting better slowly at a crawl! And you will as well!

Take care of yourself! Your awesome! :smthumbup:


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## 5Creed (May 29, 2011)

hurtingsobad,

Thank you for the support~yes I think I am a better person-but as you probably know, some days are really hard!

And the tears are coming easily today as it sounds like they do for you. In the beginning, I used to stop myself from crying, but now I need to get it out or I truly feel worse.

You too will get there-we have to or we aren't really living. You take care of yourself also! Remember that crawling forward is so much better than not moving at all.


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

I hear you. This whole situation sucks. Limboland is the worst.

All we can do is vent and keep moving forward. I should be the last to say this while I struggle day to day, but we need to make the best us we can moving forward. This is all we can do.

I keep having these reality moments that tells me that I have not fully accepted my situation. Then there are the memories of our past that keep flashing in my head. I can not believe this!

Keep venting if you need to.


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

I was in the limboland, living with ex until house sold from DD to move out day: 5 months. Watching him text, email and speak to his EA, nothing hidden from me all designed to cause pain. It was unbelievable that this person who professed to love me stabbed me repeatedly.

But 9 months post DDay, I look forward to waking up in the morning, having my coffee, taking my pooch for a walk and wondering what this new day will bring.

It's time and work and it does work. I feel much better than I have in months and you all will too.

Hang in there the mean days lessen. Grieve, we were betrayed by someone that was supposed to be at our back and turned out to be the one to stab us.


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## 5Creed (May 29, 2011)

@This is me-I can relate to the feelings you are having now-earlier on when I first found out, I often woke up and could not believe this was my life now. But it was and is and I am not allowing what he did to have such an impact on me..at least that is what I tell myself and most days it works! Keep on keepin' on~

@Sparkles422-I can not imagine having to live in the same house while all that was going on. You are a strong person and you came out on the other side. This is why I like TAM-there are people like you and it gives me hope on the bad days that things will get better. The important thing is not to hide or bury that grief and I have been and it came back with a vengeance so I agree that letting ourselves feel it is the right thing to do. Thanks for the encouragement!


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## nickiblue (Feb 20, 2011)

Sparkles422 said:


> But 9 months post DDay, I look forward to waking up in the morning, having my coffee, taking my pooch for a walk and wondering what this new day will bring.
> 
> It's time and work and it does work. I feel much better than I have in months and you all will too.


sparkles, i remember your story b4 your divorce, glad to know you are doing well

5creed, the bad days are bad, no matter how far along your story you are. my h was texting/ calling his collegue as yours is. 1 year later still living together. divorce applied for, and accepted offer on house today! 
still cant imagine moving on
all the best.


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

nickiblue: so glad to see your name again. Miles and miles have gone by.

Hang in there 5creed.


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