# Not having sex anymore



## jc8969 (Dec 19, 2010)

My wife and I are having a problem that has brought our sex life to a screeching halt. Ever since the birth of our daughter six years ago my wife says it hurts when we have sex. We've tried lubrications but they don't help her and do nothing to stimulate me. They actually have the opposite effect to the point that I won't finish because it takes so long to get to the point of climax and I exhausted long before that comes. I don't initiate sex anymore because I don't want to hurt her, but part of me wonders if she just doesn't want to do it anymore and is telling me it hurts so I won't ask. We both have very busy schedules and are tired most of the time, but we haven't been intimate in 6 months and the last time we tried it was a disaster. We've talked about this so much that it's at a point that we just don't want to talk about it anymore.
Any ideas?


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

What did the doctors say?


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

Could be possible that she has some kind of obstruction, infection, etc.

She needs to see a doctor to rule out any medical cause.

Not to brag on my husband here, but he said his ex-wife had the same issue. They discovered that there wasn't anything wrong as far as medically, the problem was that she had a small opening and he was very large and it was uncomfortable and painful for her.

Maybe after the baby, instead of things stretching out, they might have gotten more narrow - did she have an episiotomy?

I know this may sound weird, but I'm serious here.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

jc8969 said:


> My wife and I are having a problem that has brought our sex life to a screeching halt. Ever since the birth of our daughter six years ago my wife says it hurts when we have sex. We've tried lubrications but they don't help her and do nothing to stimulate me. They actually have the opposite effect to the point that I won't finish because it takes so long to get to the point of climax and I exhausted long before that comes. I don't initiate sex anymore because I don't want to hurt her, but part of me wonders if she just doesn't want to do it anymore and is telling me it hurts so I won't ask. We both have very busy schedules and are tired most of the time, but we haven't been intimate in 6 months and the last time we tried it was a disaster. We've talked about this so much that it's at a point that we just don't want to talk about it anymore.
> Any ideas?


Lubrications can't stimulate anything. It only allows you to go inside her more smoothly & to reduce the hurt.

Do you mean you need more than 20 mins to reach the point of ejaculation?

What do you mean it was a disaster?

My idea is you will have to face this problem instead of leaving it there to get rotten.


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## mike1 (Jun 15, 2009)

If sex is uncomfortable for her why has everything else been ruled out? i.e. oral, manual stimulation, have you discussed anal? 

The problem is like you said it's been 6 months and I've heard and read that the longer you go without intimacy the harder it will be to get back in the swing of things. 

If there is that much discomfort there is something wrong and she should see her ob/gyn. It doesn't sound normal at all. 

what about starting back slow, like doing oral (to each other) and getting into a sexual groove that way? Maybe if you start with a sexual activity she could start to enjoy it would be be a path back to exploring intercourse. In any case I feel for you, I don't think it's reasonable for her to cut you off entirely and you need to find some level of sexual intimacy.


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