# Advice



## toonewlywed (Jul 17, 2012)

Unfortuanately, I am no stranger to relationship problems, especially communication barriers. What has helped me work though these, however, is a 10 year background in counseling psychology. I have been able to apply some of its concepts to the struggles I endured and continue to face at times in my marriage. I took to the habit of recording the audio of my and my husband's conversations as I realized I was often getting lost in the heat of our arguments and not recognizing or addressing the real issues. I found this technique to be extremely helpful and think it might be helpful for you all considering separation or divorce. None of us really wants to end our marriages, we vowed to be with our spouse for a reason! The love is there but communication problems can make it so hard to see at times. 

So I'm encouraging anyone really interested in saving their marriage to at least five this method a try. What could it hurt? I am also willing to share my skills with anyone willing to let me and be open about the problems going on in her relationship. You can send me an audio or video (video preferred--body language tells so much!) recording of a conversation or argument between you and your spouse; it is up to you whether you want to record secretly or not. I will give you feedback and advice based on my knowledge and experience of counseling theories. With this method, we can eliminate the "two-sides to every story" see/hear both sides of what is actually said! It takes courage to bare the intimate details of our relationships, but an objective view rarely ever hurts; I believe that's why so many of us post our stories on these forums, looking for a shoulder to lean on, but what we end up posting is that one side of the story. You will get more objective feedback using this method. 

And if you decide to analyze your conversations on your own, let me know if it helped you at all! It really did for me.


----------

