# She accidentally said I love you. Does it mean anything?



## mmh09

My girlfriend and I have been dating for 4 months now. I could give you an in depth background story, but just know that this is the first time I've ever been truly in love (I'm 21 years old with my share of experience). And she is someone who puts walls up for fear of being vulnerable as she was hurt by the L word in the past.

Anyways, I said I love you pretty early on in our relationship. Like really early...as in one month. And I meant it, but it did somewhat freak her out. And she admits she is still scared of what she is feeling and how fast everything is moving, but she also admits she's never felt this before and has never had anyone like me.

She didn't say it back for a month, said it finally, only to take it back a few days later. It can be frustrating, but I obviously know this is a big deal for her and I'm not going to let it ruin our relationship by any means. I never pressure her, bug her, or even say it to her at all. I have completely given her space and allowed her to go at her own pace.

However, I'm starting to think that she really does love me, but she is just scared to let herself admit that and is trying to hold back.

The other night she told me that sometimes she feels like she's there and lately she's been getting closer to me and expressing more emotion and affection. She's also been looking at wedding stuff a lot with her roommates as all girls do, but it's definitely increased lately. And she has admitted to me that she thinks about me when she thinks about her future. 

And last night she made two interesting comments. We were talking about a feature of mine and she was like "Aw, so that means my children are going to be like this to." She then immediately paused, looked at me and awkwardly laughed. I laughed back and she said, "well, if!"

Later in the night she was making fun of me as she always does (we have a very laid back relationship) and she said, "Don't be sad, I still lov-" and then she cut off and put her hand over her mouth and the subject was immediately changed.

I can't help but think this might means she does in fact feel that way, but is scared to let her feelings happen. What do you think?

Thanks


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## Kurosity

You can not take it back. That is just silly. But it says she is apprehensive and that you should let it be. Let her get to the point that it is something she can handle saying comfortably.
Just be cool and understanding and gentle with her if it slips again don't make a big deal of it, may be smile but do not react too strongly unless it is "that moment" where she has sat you down to tell you. Keep letting her go slowly. 
You two are young, be young have fun and let the rest happen naturally. Best Wishes


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## WorkingOnMe

God I am so glad I'm not a kid anymore. These types of games would just wear me out.


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## Lon

Such an overt contract, this whole idea of uttering your feelings.

Personally, if I love someone I will tell them... what I don't want to imply is that I should somehow expect to give or receive more now that "the cat is out of the bag".

Saying I love you is not the same as saying "you are my soul mate, I will love you for all eternity and forsake all others, I will do your bidding and never do you wrong, and expect you to do the same". It is simply an expression of your feelings towards someone who is important to you and you appreciate having close to your heart.


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## lamaga

I think you're 21 and you should back off the intensity and just enjoy your youth. Have a good time and stop worrying about this.


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## mmh09

lamaga said:


> I think you're 21 and you should back off the intensity and just enjoy your youth. Have a good time and stop worrying about this.


I don't worry about it, I'm just curious. Anyone who loves someone, especially a significant other, is going to be curious as to whether or not they feel the same way and/or if they are ever going to feel the same way. I feel like it's just human nature.

As far as the intensity thing, I'm not forcing anything. I'm just going with the flow and taking things as they happen. I'm not one who believes in holding back feelings. Plus, we are having fun together and have great social lives as we are both in Greek life here.


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## Chelle D

My hubby & me were kind of in the same sort of situation back in our 20's (Married almost 23 years now).

We were dating. ( I knew he still had a girl in another state that he "sometimes saw") - In other words, we weren't "exclusively dating" .. Well, I was, but not him I guess. But...anyway,

We were dating. Having fun... hanging out. I think we were drinking that night... We went on a long walk. & I said "I love you" without thinking about it. Then, I realized what I said & Kept apologizing "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that!" "I'm sorry.. will you forget it".. "I'm sorry, can I take it back?" 

I guess in my fogged drunken brain, I thought I was gonna scare him off. I was kind of scared of feeling that much so soon for him. 

I think It's actually what "cinched the deal" for him. I mean, he says he knew when he saw me, that I was the one he was going to marry. Told everyone at work that would listen. They laughed at him, because he hadn't even talked to me yet, but was saying "that's my future wife". 

But, the night that I accidentally let it "slip out".. well, He called his ex from out of state & said for sure it was over. He called his mom & arranged for her to be in town, so she could meet me.. and he cleared out a dresser drawer, so I could move some clothes into his place. & I don't think he's looked back since.


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## sandc

Dude, women are weird. When my I was dating my wife before we married, she would only go out with me if I made sure I didn't call it a date. She would make out with me but would stop if I ever referred to her as my girlfriend. She broke up with me 3 times. Each time I'd invite her out again, "just as friends", and she'd start going places with me again.

We've been married 25 years now. NOW she likes me to call her my girlfriend. 

Point is, just hang in there, take things easy and enjoy the ride.


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## Hicks

She accidentally said I love you. Does it mean anything?


One day, you will find out.


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## intrigid

The reason she's ambivalent about saying it is that she doesn't know what the hell it means. She's uncomfortable saying something that is mainly grounded in social protocol and societal expectations. Frankly, I don't blame her.

Love is a sliding scale. On the love scale, where 0 is absolute indifference and 10 is "I would douse myself in gasoline and light myself on fire for you", you sound about a 6 to her.

My girlfriend is about a 4 on the aforementioned scale, but I still say it. But I would never actually mean it unless the girl was at least an 8.


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## sinnister

It's been pointed out but this just seems a little immature. Good luck to you in the future though.


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## arbitrator

Enjoy your time together with each other. Shared experience, both good and bad, are inevitable and might well test your feelings for each other. But you will absolutely know when "that" one special "I love you" surfaces: it is totally and so warmly unmistakable! 

Best of luck to you two. I truly envy where you are in life!


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