# Emotional Affair...



## Whirlewind810 (Jun 18, 2011)

Am i the only one here that thinks that an Emotion Affair is just a cop out answer?


----------



## WhiteRabbit (May 11, 2011)

what do you mean? as in they don't really exist or they're something a cheating spouse says to cover up a physical affair?


----------



## Whirlewind810 (Jun 18, 2011)

I mean is an "An Emotional Affair" a cop answer for a cheating spouse.


----------



## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

For many cheating spouses, especially wives, it gives a 'legitimacy' to their marital betrayal. For in their mind, 'true love' is meant to be.:rofl:


----------



## WhiteRabbit (May 11, 2011)

morituri said:


> For many cheating spouses, especially wives, it gives a 'legitimacy' to their marital betrayal. For in their mind, 'true love' is meant to be.:rofl:


:iagree:

Absolutely. makes the "ladies" feel like less of a ****ty girl if it's EMOTIONAL..."oh he was soooo in touch with my FEEEEELINGS. it was beautiful and magical...butterflies flew from my vagina and the birds were singing our names.We were meant to be."

:rofl:


----------



## Forsaken (Feb 14, 2011)

My wife refused to even call it an EA... so I guess what context is your S using it in?


----------



## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

WhiteRabbit said:


> :iagree:
> 
> Absolutely. makes the "ladies" feel like less of a ****ty girl if it's EMOTIONAL..."oh he was soooo in touch with my FEEEEELINGS. it was beautiful and magical...butterflies flew from my vagina and the birds were singing our names.We were meant to be."
> 
> :rofl:


I can just hear Minnie Riperton's Loving You in the background with all the chirping birds and flowery visuals.

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:


----------



## WhiteRabbit (May 11, 2011)

morituri said:


> I can just hear Minnie Riperton's Loving You in the background with all the chirping birds and flowery visuals.
> 
> :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:


:rofl::rofl: laughed so hard I snorted


----------



## sammy3 (Jun 5, 2011)

My husband will not even acknowledge his friendship with OW as anything other than "A close friendship. We shared a lot " that he was involved with for 15 months, before it went into a full blown affair. 

EA, he thinks is in my head ! 

~sammy


----------



## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

sammy3 said:


> My husband will not even acknowledge his friendship with OW as anything other than "A close friendship. We shared a lot " that he was involved with for 15 months, before it went into a full blown affair.
> 
> EA, he thinks is in my head !
> 
> ~sammy


Then he is not owning his sh!t and not taking responsibility for the EA. As long as he doesn't own his sh!t, then he's not truly remorseful. He's in denial that he did anything wrong, so he WILL do it again. 

Kick him to the curb until he owns up to the EA. Any friendship with the opposite sex that was conducted in secrecy (key ingredient) and talking about the most intimate matters and secrets, is an EA. Don't let him tell you otherwise. Look up EA on the net and print it out.


----------



## meson (May 19, 2011)

Whirlewind810 said:


> Am i the only one here that thinks that an Emotion Affair is just a cop out answer?


No, when something has been missing and it is now being supplied and you develop feelings for someone, it's real. It happens, it's not a cop out excuse. For some it might be but for many it is not. I didn't think it could happen but i fell in love with another while still loving my wife. Fortunately she never knew my full feelings otherwise things would have gotten really bad and my marriage ruined. I wasn't looking for it but it came nevertheless.


----------



## WhiteRabbit (May 11, 2011)

I fell in love with him/her= i fell in lust with him/her and needed to try see if they were better than what i've already got. ya know how it is honey,like when we're at a restaurant and I always want what that guy/gal at the other table ordered rather than what i've got on my plate.

paraphrasing...of course.


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Whirlewind810 said:


> Am i the only one here that thinks that an Emotion Affair is just a cop out answer?


Who knows? I do think that if your spouse isn't spending any emotional ergs on you, it doesn't really matter he or she is directing them at someone else. An EA? Maybe it's just a chaste fantasy. Not really a friendship because it's so one-dimensional. I'm neutral on the point.


----------



## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

meson said:


> I wasn't looking for it but it came nevertheless.


That's one of the biggest reasons an EA can be so dangerous, it can creep up on you like Kudzu and slowly cover you up. You let it happen because you haven't crossed the boundary of sex which is where most define infidelity. "We're just friends.... We haven't slept together..... He/She understands me...." Before you know it you're in deep. Emotionally entwined with another and distancing yourself from your spouse. It's very real and it's poison to a relationship.

I watched it all happen with my wife. The gradual distancing to the point I felt there wasn't a thing I could do right as a husband or father in her eyes. The discovery and the emotional turmoil it brought to us both. The months she was in denial as to what it was. And she really felt that way, she'd done nothing wrong, she'd not had any physical intimacy with him so she rationalized it as a friendship. But when she finally accepted it for what it was, it was devastating. I saw it in her eyes when she finally told me, she was in love with some one else. The toughest words she'd ever spoken, the toughest I'd ever had to endure. It's not a cop out, it's very real and it hurts like hell.


----------



## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Jellybeans had a good thread going on this.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/23358-dr-phil-emotional-affairs.html


----------



## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Amplexor said:


> I watched it all happen with my wife. The gradual distancing to the point I felt there wasn't a thing I could do right as a husband or father in her eyes. The discovery and the emotional turmoil it brought to us both. The months she was in denial as to what it was. And she really felt that way, she'd done nothing wrong, she'd no had any physical intimacy with him so she rationalized it as a friendship. But when she finally accepted it for what it was, it was devastating. I saw it in her eyes when she finally told me, she was in love with some one else. The toughest words she'd ever spoken, the toughest I'd ever had to endure. It's not a cop out, it's very real and it hurts like hell.


:iagree:

OMG. Almost exactly word for word what happened to me.


----------



## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

lordmayhem said:


> :iagree:
> 
> OMG. Almost exactly word for word what happened to me.


Post Script: We survived and thrived after it was over.


----------

