# I dont know how to talk to him!



## KrysD

My Husband has a Porn Addiction, openly admits, and STILL does nothing about it! and intimacy lacks because of it. 
it had been going on for a very long time, but i have only recently starting opening my mouth about it... thinking it was my fault and i needed to change. So i did everything i could to spice it up.
I am a Marine Wife and because of his job he is gone.... a lot. so i expressed to him that i have no problem with him looking at porn while he is away but i absolutely forbid it when we are together, for what i thought were obvious reasons. 
Well, he got back from a 7 month deployment where i am positive he looked at porn many times a day. i even sent him some pictures and videos of myself, just so he wouldn’t forget  Anyway! he got into the habit of looking at it and when he got home it did not stop. i caught him looking at it WHEN I WAS HOME and i freaked out i didn’t know what to do, i looked at the internet history and i was deleted, so i found a way to recover it and found that it was looking at HUGE breasted women ( i was a petit girl NOT huge breasted) i have always had a problem with my chest and i recently got a Breast Augmentation thinking it would solve something with in myself and in the bedroom. (What was i thinking!) i feel great about myself, i am a beautiful thin Personal Trainer and Massage Therapist there is absolutely nothing wrong with the way that i look. And now i feel more fake than ever thinking boobs would solve it. 
I have been to counseling, and confided in close guy friends to give my some answers, but husband is a difficult to solve as a rubics cube! he is also very thick headed and short tempered (so you can imagine when i confronted him how that all went!) he said he would not look at it when i was home but no promises when i was at work or out of the house. I took it because that was all i was offered! 
it has been months and i can not stand it! our sex life has suffered greatly, we have sex often.. 3-4 times a week, but there is nothing there! he get his i get mine, 5 mins later roll over and go to bed every single time we have sex. i cant help but think its the porn, so i told him no more i hurts me greatly, i can not take it and we NEED intimacy. and i have brought it up so many time and he get so upset and it ends up in a fight and i end up just throwing up my hands and walking away not resolving anything. he does not admit he looks at porn anymore when i know he does, i ask him what he is doing on the computer and i get this "oh nothing checking my email" i find it on the computer and of course it was just a pop up! he wasn’t looking at it! i can not trust him not look at it and i HATE that he has NO PROBLEM lying to me about it. i have NO idea how to confront him so we can solve this together. 
Porn can only serve his taste for so long... so whats next when it looses it touch? 
i have done some research online and printed something things up and i am thinking of laying them down so he can see how many people are affected and there is help out there.... but i know we will just fight about it and nothing will get resolved.
My Husband shows a great deal i respect to me in all other aspects, tells me i am beautiful, cleans the house, hugs me and cuddles, but when it comes to sex he is just NOT there i dont know what to do, i have tried everything to get his mind off of his internet girls, i have bought hundreds of $$ worth of sexy clothes and products and he loved it for about 5 mins till he gets off then nothing really matters anymore... there is so much more to say but ill stop there for fear that no one will want to read such a long post! 

Please help


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## KrysD

one huge thing that he said to me that hit home, was "i could look at porn then 10 mins later have sex with you and i wouldnt matter to me" ..... i cried and got so angry! does he think this is a joke?


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## StrongEnough

You say you don't know how to talk to him, but it sounds like he doesn't listen no matter what you say or do.
Sounds to me like you have done things to help, but he is refusing to make any changes-or they are very minor. Not to discount them, but what he is doing is not working for him. 
I know this hurts, a lot. Would he consider talking to a counselor or sex therapist to fix what is going on between the two of you? Then he might not need the porn outlet!


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