# Why wont see leave!?



## losinghope12 (Jan 31, 2012)

I truly, truly hate life right now

My wife (of 8 months) is deeply involved in an emotional affair....which by the way is not the first one of these she has engaged in.

Bare in mind this current EA lives a solid 700 miles away, and is someone whom she has never met. They play World of Warcraft together until all hours of the night, met there and presumably exchanged numbers and its ratcheted up from there. I've seen texts where they tell one another they love each other, extremely graphic sex chats, making fun of me and so on

Anyways, situation comes to a head late last week. My wife needed very minor surgery and thanks to my ****ty insurance I am on the hook for $2500 out of pocket. Ok cool, whatever she is at home recuperating and lays it on the table that this marriage isnt worth saving, no counseling she wants a divorce and she wants to move in with her dad who lives two hours away.

Great. Whatever, I acknowledge that the marriage is doomed and with her recent surgery she cant get on the road right away. Well its been a week she is moving about just fine and still HAS NOT LEFT YET!!! She doesn't want to stay, she is very much emotionally involved with this EA she is involved in and it feels like she is rubbing my face in it. She even had the nerve to hand me a grocery list for tomorrow morning.

Why is she still here? What can I do to make her leave so I can begin to find closure behind this sad debacle of a marriage?


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

She is happier with the current situation than any of her alternatives.

Stop paying for her stuff. Stop bringing food into the house. Eat every meal out. Stop paying for her internet. Give her no money whatsoever.

Go see a lawyer and find out your options as to ending the marriage and getting her out of your house.

File for divorce and get the ball rolling.


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

Haven't you confronted her?


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## Anaphylactic (Feb 19, 2012)

WOAH.... is the home yours? Or both of yours? 

Can you just tell her to get out?

I feel for you!!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Yep turn off the internet connection. She will have to leave so she can be involved with your EA guy.


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## 67flh (Sep 26, 2011)

dude, you're a pushover and sshe knows it. man-up don't pay for anything(take that grocery and wipe your azz with it) i repeat, don't give her a dime.


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## losinghope12 (Jan 31, 2012)

The house is mine, bought it before I ever met the STBXW. Almost every stick of furniture in the house is also mine, again purchased before I ever even met her. Frankly the only things she brought into the house were a few bookcases, her computer, a giant fish tank she insisted on having but never used and just wastes space in my garage, and just some odds and ends things she brought from her apartment.

I would love to cancel the Internet this very minute, but unfortunately having Internet access is a job requirement of mine. 

Frankly I really don't care if she wishes to engage in her EA (with a married father no less), I just want her to leave. Its quite obvious that she has been checked out of this marriage almost after it started, and has already moved on by finding someone else (several people actually). Thats fine, whatever, just leave so I can begin the process of trying to find closure.

I mean seriously she has already treated me like a fool for refusing to work, do chores around the house, and cheating on me with varying degrees of secrecy. Why is she rubbing my face in it at this point?


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Serve her with divorce papers, she will then have to leave.

Refuses house chores and work? I'm disabled with a neck injury(still have 2 disc herniations), but it has not stopped me from cleaning the house, cooking for the family and making frequent love to my husband.

I'm unable to work and collect disability, but I make life here as pleasurable as possible for my husband. He deserves the world for his efforts and how hard he works for our family.


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

Did you file for divorce?


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## Mark Val (Mar 2, 2012)

She has been TAKING YOU FOR GRANTED...!!!

Tell her to just Leave...and Divorce her...


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## losinghope12 (Jan 31, 2012)

Meeting with an attorney this week (hopefully Monday) but it depends upon the attorney's availability


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

She's doing it because she and her man enjoy it. Why is that so hard to understand. Go to the gym. Take your modem with you. Take the cables with you. Take the tv cables with you. Take her keyboard with you. 

As far as she is concerned you're just a tool.

Take your man hood back and she'll go packing. Are you afraid of her?

Eat while you"re out. Bring her home a doggy bag.


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

losinghope12 said:


> The house is mine, bought it before I ever met the STBXW. Almost every stick of furniture in the house is also mine, again purchased before I ever even met her. Frankly the only things she brought into the house were a few bookcases, her computer, a giant fish tank she insisted on having but never used and just wastes space in my garage, and just some odds and ends things she brought from her apartment.
> 
> I would love to cancel the Internet this very minute, but unfortunately having Internet access is a job requirement of mine.
> 
> ...


Sometimes it doesn’t help at all to look for reasons. And it’s way better, quicker, healthier and more meaningful to just accept the facts.

Rubbing your face in it at this point. Probably very much more to do with her than it is to do with you. You just happen to be there, the one she can do it to.


You can block internet access without disconnecting.


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

This is how someone in a similar situation is handling it (from another current thread (Am I being hasty and cruel?):

_I want to thank you all for your abrasiveness and poking fun at my situation. 

That being said, I have poured over what you said and taken it to heart. Last night when I got home, I grabbed her phone while she was talking to her WOW buddy and told him to come pick her cheating ass up. then I grabbed her keys took the key off and shoved her and her crutches out the door. (she got injured while horseback riding.) She is now sleeping at her mother's apt. and capt. wonderful still hasn't come to rescue her.

I am burning our wedding pics first off. I have begun stacking clothing and gifts from her parents, family and friends as they are going in the trash. I smashed my wedding ring flat with a hammer before going to work. The Kurig coffee maker I bought her is getting chopped up. The Kindle fire I bought this year from xmas will be smashed. The PS3 she bought me 2 years ago, I threw out in the street in front of her this morning when she was begging me to let her come back.

I just made her walk outside and locked her out. Now I'm going to strike hard and fast. I shut off her phone and I'm going to throw her clothes outside in the a pile.

I hope she ends up homeless and alone for the rest of her life. people like here need to be punished. As for the guy, well, there is no reason to beat him up really. It really isn't his job to make sure a woman remains faithful or not. The burden is on the one who made the commitment.

So her phone is now shut off, her clothes are at her mom's, I took the wedding ring I gave her and flattened it with a hammer and threw the diamond into the desert. I also burned our wedding pics. I contacted an attorney on Friday as well.
I did leaver her the flattened ring for her sentimental values though._


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

losinghope12 said:


> I would love to cancel the Internet this very minute, but unfortunately having Internet access is a job requirement of mine.


Are you saying that you do not use a router with an encryption key? You don't have to spend alot of money to install hardware with security, and just refuse to give her the passcode.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Change the internet password. make it as uncomfortable as possible. Ask her to move out.


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

See a lawyer and try to file for an annulment. 8 months into the marriage and she has been doing these things? She has no respect for you whatsoever. If you do not respect yourself then who will?


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## Mike11 (Aug 25, 2011)

You can block her access without blocking yours easely, just enable the MAC address based filter on your router and exclude her compouter from it an that is it, she is blocked


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

If you don't know how to change the settings to block her computer, then when you aren't using the internet, or when you leave the house, take the cable from the router to the wall with you, or the power supply, or the router.


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## Mark Val (Mar 2, 2012)

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> I'm disabled with a neck injury(still have 2 disc herniations), but it has not stopped me from cleaning the house, cooking for the family and making frequent love to my husband.
> 
> I'm unable to work and collect disability, but I make life here as pleasurable as possible for my husband. He deserves the world for his efforts and how hard he works for our family.


nice...


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

Wow, your story is pretty incredible. You need to cut the wires if you have to, make it difficult for your wife to have any contact with her OM, or others she may have. Seems like she's enjoying your money way too much.

You know what you need to do, and don't feel guilty.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Cancel her cell if the account is in your name.
Cancel all joint credit cards
Take half the money in any joint checking/savings accounts and put it in your name only
Load up all her stuff (clothes, furniture) and take it to her dad's house (she said she was going there anyway). When she leaves for a change of underwear, change the locks!


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