# The perfect wife?



## kl84 (Jan 26, 2012)

I know, she doesn't exist. But if she did, what would she be like? What is your criteria for a perfect (or at least as perfect as it could get) wife? Appearance, attitude, expectations, etc. 

Just interested in hearing a man's perspective!


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## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

One that showed me daily appreciation for what I provide for her.
One that takes pride in their appearance (doesn't have to be a goddess).
One that treats me like a man and takes care of me sexually in every way.

Do those three things and I'll slay dragons for her. Still looking for her.....


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Funny..i was all those things when in a relationship yet I still got cheated on and tossed aside.


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## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

ScarletBegonias said:


> Funny..i was all those things when in a relationship yet I still got cheated on and tossed aside.


You weren't married to me.


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

For me
One who's a true friend to me. (No judgement, no selfishness etc.)
One who is both trusting and trustworthy
One who gives me the proper respect that I've earned and deserve
One who talks to me about ANYTHING, good or bad 
One who finds me attractive and shows it
One who is a great mother to our kids and works with me in unity
One who has an ability to compromise
One who's kiss makes everything else disappear
One who is totally open sexually with me 
One who has an a$$ who makes my hands and other body parts drawn to it

Luckily I married her 5 years ago and try everyday to be "the perfect husband" for her.


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## kl84 (Jan 26, 2012)

Those are good qualities to have, but what should she actually be *doing*.... does she have a good career? Does she stay at home? Is she an amazing cook? Does she keep the house spotless? Does she share your interests? Do special things for you?


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

kl84 said:


> Those are good qualities to have, but what should she actually be *doing*.... does she have a good career? Does she stay at home? Is she an amazing cook? Does she keep the house spotless? Does she share your interests? Do special things for you?


These are unfair questions. I've had a good career and I've stayed at home. For some men cooking is a big deal and others are more interested in sex. For some men spotless is important and others are more laid back and don't care as long as they don't stick to the floor when they walk on it.

I've been married for 21 years and my husband is probably one of the most easy to please men I've ever met. He's like the Jeff Foxworthy joke. He wants a beer, something to eat and he'd like to see something naked preferably someone attractive (aka a healthy weight, decent clothes, makeup, etc.) Anything above and beyond that is just icing on the cake.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

The perfect wife?

She's riding around on a unicorn somewhere


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

kl84 said:


> Those are good qualities to have, but what should she actually be *doing*.... does she have a good career? Does she stay at home? Is she an amazing cook? Does she keep the house spotless? Does she share your interests? Do special things for you?


My wife has a great career, she's the baker and I'm the cook, neither of us keep the house spotless, she supports my interests but doesn't share in them (aside from things like card/board games because we play together) and she does do special things for me from time to time.

FOR ME (and if you read The 5 Love Languages, I'm almost zero in the gifts and services languages) doing things around the house is pretty meaningless. If she loves me, appreciates and respects me for the man that I am in general and how I am as a husband, the things around the house are pretty meaningless, as long as we both do our fair share.

The 5 Love Languages is a REALLY good book to read/listen to. The perfect wife is going to be one that focuses on speaking her husband's language and then provides the normal givens (trust, communication, respect, love and lust).


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

I don't know if my wife - or anyone, for that matter - is 'perfect.' But when we are getting along the way we have been the past week, she is as close to perfect as I can want. 

We have always gotten along well ( all couples argue) and we have many similar views and values. So that is a good thing. 

The one thing that seemed to make things more diffucult at home was sex. When she is more open to it and allows herself to enjoy it, we are like teenagers. 

I really wouldn't change a thing about the woman I married. (So, ladies - see what a little fun can do for both of your attitudes towards everything?)


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

*My* “perfect” wife

Personality:
Likes to have fun, doesn’t take herself too seriously

Optimistic, enjoys life

Confident but not a b*tch, doesn’t second-guess compliments or demean their looks

Enjoys sex but not promiscuous – someone who gets really horny for their husband

Doesn’t expect mind-reading, shares her feelings openly and states her desires clearly

Actions:
Grateful and shows appreciation for her husband

Pleases her man in the sack

Encourages him to get man-time (with friends or alone)

Supports and encourages his decisions, reinforces his leadership role.

Takes an interest in his activities

Has clear boundaries with other men and doesn’t compromise on them

I get elated when I see women that really admire and look up to and respect their husbands and find their husbands sexy. I don’t know how you would quantify that trait but I’m always in awe when I read those stories. SA, heartsbeating, and TG are good examples. Makes me totally jealous for their husbands.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

She'd be a partner. Financially, romantically, spiritually, sexually. She'd show as much interest and put in as much effort as I do to make the relationship work. Might as well ask for a unicorn or for it to rain jellybeans.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

She's not a cook. She's not a housecleaner or a maid. She's not a nanny. She's my wife. And she knows it.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

Wise beyond her years.
Never attempts to read between the lines of what say.
Adores me.
believes in me more than anything else.
Wears unpractical underware always
Never wears any heels less than 6 inches.
never squats to pck something up but always bends straight over at the waist ........SLOWLY and then glances back over her shoulder at me before slowly straightening back up..........damn I'm getting myself excited here!!!!!


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## kl84 (Jan 26, 2012)

Stonewall said:


> Wise beyond her years.
> Never attempts to read between the lines of what say.
> Adores me.
> believes in me more than anything else.
> ...


:lol:LOL. I love this! Hahaha.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Perfect? No one is perfect. You will search forever and never find her.

I have to look at myself honestly first, then I can find a woman who is "perfect for me".


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## romantic_guy (Nov 8, 2011)

Nobody is perfect. For example I wish my wife would like sex as much as I do. She has responsive desire meaning that she will respond if I initiate. She just does not think about it like I do. We have made peace with that; I go after her and she does not refuse.

Other than that, here are the things that make her perfect for me:
1. She is the body type that I am drawn to, 5'2", about 112 lbs, small features. 
2. She is extremely intelligent.
3. She is not a pushover; she speaks her mind in a respectful manner.
4. She cares about her appearance.
5. She is a great cook.
6. She is so appreciative of the little things that I do for her (love languages are acts of service and words of affirmation).
7. She does not "mother" me.
8. I love her decorating style. Our house looks like a little B&B.
9. She is as at home at a resort as she is camping in the mountains.
10. She enjoys watching sports as much as I do.
11. She is my best friend. I would rather spend time with her than anyone else.
12. She does not play "mind games." If there is something bothering her, she will effectively communicate that to me; she is emotionally mature.

Those are a few things off the top of my head.


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## Duke (May 15, 2011)

A lady in public, a freak in the bedroom.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

Sexual
Appreciative 
*Respectful - When I say respect I mean for the fact that I believe in pre-determined gender roles. I feel the need to protect, I am not soft, and I need her to understand that I am just not going to act like a dude in a Rom Comedy. I am wired completely different than that.

She can do whatever she wants if she does those things. I want her to be intellectual and socially aware of what's going on in the world. I want her to have her own interests and embrace life with me as a partner.

And she doesn't have to like the eagles, but she does have to keep that to herself.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Who or what is the perfect wife?
To be honest I've never thought of it.
All I know is that I am contented with my wife, and our life.
She has enriched my life , and she pleases me well.
And my mother always said that I'm a difficult man to please.
So ,she [ my wife ] must be ,
The perfect wife. [ At least to me!]


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## oldgeezer (Sep 8, 2012)

kl84 said:


> I know, she doesn't exist. But if she did, what would she be like? What is your criteria for a perfect (or at least as perfect as it could get) wife? Appearance, attitude, expectations, etc.
> 
> Just interested in hearing a man's perspective!


Ok, this will sound slightly strange... But... I have no idea. 

I know what I might imagine, but my imagination is clearly not perfect, so, whatever I might imagine, would definitely not be perfect. 

I had a friend in HS I thought was perfect. Oh, gawd, the crush on her was... I can't even begin to say how incomprehensibly intense. And, she really was a good friend, someone I enjoyed being with and she with me. We partnered for a half year school project on family life, as well. She asked me, and we role played as a married couple - for the whole half year.

You have no idea how hard to keep my hands from shaking and to keep from staring and all those "betray the feelings" acts. Why? She was a friend. A friend not to be trifled as a mere "crush" rather than someone I wanted to be my true friend and remain so, even if she was never going to want me romantically. 

But was she perfect? As close as I could imagine. Years later, after knowing much more about her, I learned slowly that we would have had difficulties, because she wasn't as "perfect" as she seemed. But those imperfections never mattered to being friends. 

So, when I say "I have no idea", I actually mean it. I don't presume to think that a perfect person I would recognize, nor that I would be able to understand or even be attracted to. I would presume so, but I just don't have that kind of faith in my own ability to generate the characteristics in my mind.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

As a few others have said, nobody is perfect. I don't expect my wife to be perfect, but ideal is another thing. 

Attractive; everyone has different interests, but someone who fits what I think is hot. 
Someone who shares interests with me; this way we can enjoy things together and have conversation about topics we both enjoy. 
Responsible; someone who does their share of work around the house, splitting responsibilities. Also financially responsible, not someone who spends unwisely.
Caring; heartfelt and cares about me and other people.
Family oriented; have to enjoy spending time with family. 
Religious; my faith is important to me and would need to be with any wife I have.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Deejo said:


> The perfect wife?
> 
> She's riding around on a unicorn somewhere


Yea...chasing after that perfect husband who is just out of reach, right?


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

A true partner and team player. Knowing when I need a hug vs. a kick in the ass. 

Today, last day of vacation, we said when we get back we would get a pizza, great. Packing up there's an ad on TV for pasta, hot guy with hot chick and good looking pasta. Normally one of us would say they're gonna get laid because of the pasta. But today I said "you know we still have some arugula?" She "I was thinking the exact same thing". That's perfect to me (even if I didn't get laid tonight).


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## Aggie (Sep 5, 2012)

The perfect wife for me would be someone who loves me, puts up with me, and makes a conscious effort to work things out when we had a problem.

She would be attractive but not use it as a tool to manipulate. She would choose me over her family when it came down to it, and she wouldn't leave me on the back-burner when we had children.

She would have a sex drive close to mine, and she would verbally build me up.

My wife isn't perfectly all of these things, but I have to admit, she's pretty close.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

kl84 said:


> Those are good qualities to have, but what should she actually be *doing*.... does she have a good career? Does she stay at home? Is she an amazing cook? Does she keep the house spotless? Does she share your interests? Do special things for you?


-laid back and drama free
-career; doesn't matter to me, just as long as she is ok with what she does, i wouldn't care if she worked at McDonald's or was a lawyer; I wouldn't want a workaholic.
-spotless house; just average, I wouldn't want someone who is obsessed with a spotless house.
-cook- doesn't have to be amazing, just someone who realizes that eating everyday is a normal thing.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

kl84 said:


> Those are good qualities to have, but what should she actually be *doing*.... does she have a good career? Does she stay at home? Is she an amazing cook? Does she keep the house spotless? Does she share your interests? Do special things for you?


Good career, yes. Not a workaholic like I have now, but make a good living. 
Amazing cook, no. I enjoy cooking, but would like it if she cooked some of the time or cooked with me.
spotless house, no. Not spotless, but help keep it clean and organized.
Interests shared is important.
Not big on special things, just the basic little things.


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## hello86 (Sep 11, 2012)

All I would ask for is a woman that is able to realize that our psyche is molded by what we encountered growing up. And that these childhood instances could have been good or bad for our development (and ultimately uncontrollable by us) but just in realizing this would be willing to delve deeper into who they are so changes can be made allowing them to let go of issues that are detrimental to relationships.

Pretty much understanding that not everyone is perfect and looking at more of who I am and what can I do to fit my partners life. Obviously the same goes for the man. But understanding why each person has their "quirks" is important.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

The perfect wife for me is the one who strives for perfection in all aspects of her life


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## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

my wife is the perfect wife 

sorry to brag


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## La Rose Noire (Jun 20, 2012)

COguy said:


> *My* “perfect” wife
> 
> Personality:
> Likes to have fun, doesn’t take herself too seriously
> ...


This describes me to a T. I've noticed though that when men first start to date me, they're extatic. Then the novelty wears off and they just stop appreciating it. This has been the case in my last two relationships and now my current one. Now he only focuses on minor negative things 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## librarydragon (Aug 20, 2011)

Hmmm...my husband just sent me a text to say he'd be another 2 hours at work...a long day 

I replied that I'd be at home waiting with dinner, drinks, a hot tub and a hummer. 

Close?


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

librarydragon said:


> Hmmm...my husband just sent me a text to say he'd be another 2 hours at work...a long day
> 
> I replied that I'd be at home waiting with dinner, drinks, a hot tub and a hummer.
> 
> Close?


All of that is usual for me accept the hot tub and a hummer part.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

librarydragon said:


> Hmmm...my husband just sent me a text to say he'd be another 2 hours at work...a long day
> 
> I replied that I'd be at home waiting with dinner, drinks, a hot tub and a hummer.
> 
> Close?


It's a damn good start!


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## keeper63 (Mar 22, 2012)

Someone who fits my definition of physically attractive (petite and athletic as a general rule), and keeps herself in shape, in good health, and cares about her appearance.

Someone who is scrupulously honest.

Someone who is loyal to me and "in my corner/has my back" no matter what the circumstances.

Someone who is confident, and treats me and herself with respect.

Someone who understands my emotional and sexual needs, and is committed to meeting those needs.

Someone who appreciates and validates who I am as a man, husband, and father.


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## MrsOldNews (Feb 22, 2012)

L


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

BeachGuy said:


> One that showed me daily appreciation for what I provide for her.
> One that takes pride in their appearance (doesn't have to be a goddess).
> One that treats me like a man and takes care of me sexually in every way.
> 
> Do those three things and I'll slay dragons for her. Still looking for her.....


I think any guy would be happy with those three things....if you read Dr. Laura's book about how to treat a husband you just summarized the whole book up:smthumbup:


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Kl, 
This is big to me:

First time we see or talk to each other after a break or a work day we are clearly happy.


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## Dr. Rockstar (Mar 23, 2011)

Boobs.

Seriously, though, I can't imagine a woman more suited to me than my wife. She would be perfect for me if I could only help her get past her terrible body issues she has.


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## Accipiter777 (Jul 22, 2011)

A woman that I see past her flaws...


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## ocotillo (Oct 17, 2011)

A perfect wife would be boring. It's the tiny drop of acid that makes things unpredictable that's interesting.


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## Thewife (Sep 3, 2007)

Caribbean Man said:


> Who or what is the perfect wife?
> To be honest I've never thought of it.
> All I know is that I am contented with my wife, and our life.
> She has enriched my life , and she pleases me well.
> ...


She is the perfect wife "for you" That is all there is in this world not a perfect wife who will fit the bill for all men


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## Duke (May 15, 2011)

librarydragon said:


> Hmmm...my husband just sent me a text to say he'd be another 2 hours at work...a long day
> 
> I replied that I'd be at home waiting with dinner, drinks, a hot tub and a hummer.
> 
> Close?


Close enough!! :smthumbup:


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## SA's husband (Apr 9, 2012)

COguy said:


> *My* “perfect” wife
> 
> Personality:
> Likes to have fun, doesn’t take herself too seriously
> ...


 My wife has had some moments of taking herself too seriously but other than that, she is all of the above. I don't care about man time. Between her, the kids, the house, the yard, not much time for anyone else. 

1. Is crazy about me in the bedroom. 
2. is uplifting when things are'nt so great.
3. is generally a happy person(mood can make all the difference)
4. is very organized.
5. is home to greet me at the door after a hard days work.
6. plans special getaways for just the 2 of us.
7. helps with any projects no matter how large.
8. just happy to be spending time together.
9. I can always count on her to be honest. 

SA is great but just like anybody else she has her days. But I will always think she is fantastic.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

SA's husband said:


> My wife has had some moments of taking herself too seriously but other than that, she is all of the above. I don't care about man time. Between her, the kids, the house, the yard, not much time for anyone else.
> 
> 1. Is crazy about me in the bedroom.
> 2. is uplifting when things are'nt so great.
> ...


You have no idea how lucky you are! I read her posts about you and get jealous.

"An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels."


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## oldgeezer (Sep 8, 2012)

librarydragon said:


> Hmmm...my husband just sent me a text to say he'd be another 2 hours at work...a long day
> 
> I replied that I'd be at home waiting with dinner, drinks, a hot tub and a hummer.
> 
> Close?


Wow, just like me, except for the dinner, drinks, hot tub and hummer...


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

Is this a trick question?!?!


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## shenox (Sep 12, 2012)

1. beautiful and sexy
2. honest
3. loving
4. helping
5. and several more.. Now I dont remember


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

I'm the perfect wife..... For my husband.


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## WalterWhite (Sep 14, 2012)

Perfect wife? Mine is very near perfect...

1. She married a man that can afford a family, allowing her to stay home with the kids.
2. She stays home with the kids, putting them before career.
3. She respects her man, and her children and herself.
4. She rocks in bed, giving her man the best sex of his life, and unless for medical reasons, does not deny him.
5. She is very educated, well read, well traveled, and keeps her man cerebrally stimulated.
6. She has excellent communication skills and all that goes with that.
7. She very rarely has a Girls Night Out.
8. She drinks little, parties little. Her life is not party/alcohol centric. After all she is mature yet a heck of a lot of fun.
9. Her conflict resolution skills are excellent.
10. She takes pride in her appearance.
11. She has no mental disorders.
12. She is never moody; taking a bad day out on others.
13. She is loving, affectionate, touchi-feely.
14. She does not lie.
15. She has excellent character.
16. She has her husband's back, and is loyal.
17. She is no one's fool; holding her family accountable to what they should be doing.
18. She is never manipulative.
19. She is very cheery and believes that happiness is a choice and is a tone to be set in front of others.
20. She does not smoke.
21. She dolls herself up just before husband gets home.
22. She creates a very peaceful, happy, fun, joyful safe homelife, home, and ambience at home. Acrimony there is very rare (once or twice a year).

My wife would be perfect if not for #6...she has some improvement there. So yes, I am very happy and fortunate to have her.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

kl84 said:


> I know, she doesn't exist. But if she did, what would she be like? What is your criteria for a perfect (or at least as perfect as it could get) wife? Appearance, attitude, expectations, etc.


Can I jump on this and suggest something... that I think men are not as much the 'list makers' that women often are - but I'll bite anyway.

* she is her own person - has opinions, is smart, confident, and isnt afraid to do her own thing.

* she is kind and thoughtful to everyone in action word and deed - and has a sense of humor.

Everything else is icing on the cake and once you have the above, it falls into place. The women I have been attracted to are the ones that are carrying on a sharp conversation at a party - probably with a humourous glint in her eye. The one that brought some stupid little gift for someone 'just because', and has ideas about what she wants in life.

Yeah - the sexy and good looking parts might catch my eye, but never hold it if there is nothing of substance to back it up.

now that I write this I remember when I met my wife when she was in college. One morning I went out to the car.. it was like 30 degrees out.. and found homemade cookies on the front seat with a little love note. She had ridden her bike about 5 miles that morning before I got up, and before her classes, just to leave me some feaking cookies.. and probably froze her a$$ off doing it. Thing is - I never cared about 'gifts' - I dont need anything, dont want anything. But that little thing sticks in my head as something that made me reflect on the type of person she was/is.


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## WalterWhite (Sep 14, 2012)

La Rose Noire said:


> This describes me to a T. I've noticed though that when men first start to date me, they're extatic. Then the novelty wears off and they just stop appreciating it. This has been the case in my last two relationships and now my current one. Now he only focuses on minor negative things
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Perhaps you keep dating the wrong men? You need to find a man that is as high quality as you, and when you do, you have a great chance of sustained joy and fulfillment.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

I can say that the perfect wife doesn't work until 8:30 and then go out to eat with friends after that on a night when you were supposed to spend time together.


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## tonyarz (Sep 15, 2012)

Mine would be loving, sexy, dominant and trustworthy.


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## bribrius (Jun 29, 2012)

perfect wife?

mute. 
orphan girl so you dont have to deal with inlaws
attractive of course.
Intelligent enough to do the bills or a crossword at least, but dumb enough she doesnt realize she can do better than you. 
Good mother, honest, trustworthy, all that crap the others said.
mostly mute is good.


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## rj700 (Jun 22, 2012)

Trenton said:


> Is this a trick question?!?!


It is a trick question, right up there with "does this outfit make me look fat?" And the correct answer to the original question - "you are honey".


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

I dated one woman whom I wasn't completely physically attracted to - she had a thin/petite body which was very appealing but had some strong physical ethnic traits that weren't. When we were walking she just grabbed onto my arm and it felt (a little awkward only at first but) marvelous. She was submissive in ways but strong and knew what she wanted, so feminine and I have never felt so masculine as with her. Maybe its shallow but I think it had to do with her personality and culture.

I dated another that was the kindest person I've met, very gentle yet successful, but very sad partly over the loss of her last relationship but because she was striving for a life that she hasn't made happen.

And of course my ex, who has so much life and energy, and warmth and a healing touch, with that youthfulness came all kinds of immaturity.

If I could have the spirit of my ex, the femininity and character of the first lady I dated after and the kindness and down-to-earth attitude of the last, wrapped up in a small little bubble-wrapped package I'd be in heaven. But to make it last she would definitely need to have enough leadership qualities to call me on my BS and be able to take up the slack when I flounder.


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## NinjaTurtle (Jan 2, 2013)

SA's husband said:


> 1. Is crazy about me in the bedroom.
> 2. is uplifting when things are'nt so great.
> 3. is generally a happy person(mood can make all the difference)
> 4. is very organized.
> ...


With the exception of #4 (working on it), sounds like my wife. 

She may not be perfect, no one is, but she's perfect for me. I can't imagine being with anyone else for as long as I live.


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## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

Well its all perception anyone can be the "perfect" wife. You could lose your perfect wife and find another. Your mind can make you believe and change your views on what perfect is.

I believe my wife is the perfect wife she is everything i ever wanted.


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## LearninAsWeGo (Oct 20, 2012)

There's an old saying in Italy:

*"A lady in the parlour, a cook in the kitchen, and a w**** in the bedroom."*

...and I really couldn't phrase it much better 

...however, I would add maternal qualities (nurturing, etc) but NOT prioritizing kids over the man who provides for her and the kids, is their dad (biological or socially), and is her companion in retirement, etc. In present day America, marriage is basically nothing more than a way for the partner who earns less to take a lot of the higher earning partner's $ if the partnership doesn't work out. No man in his right mind is going to even consider marriage until he's family minded... and probably religious (but that's just my model). A lot of guys never grow up. Any reasonably attractive/successful man who has been done with school for more than a year or two and isn't in a serious relationship doesn't want one. End of story. Learn the game so you won't get overly played.

Beware of the snakes in the grass, ladies. And even if it's hard, be honest about your sexual history... if you're serving him the best pie he's ever had, he will know he's not your first. Bring things up as fantasies, but if he asks, tell the truth... slowly. The truth will set you free (but go slow and mix in some "we will talk about that, but not now"). Hook up culture is the new dating game... Read Athol Kay's "Primer" book. It's accurate regarding control in modern relationships. GL

I will tell you that 5s marry 5s, 8s marry 8s.... sure, maybe you can get a point or two exception if someone makes/has a lot more money, has a lot more youth, or the girl gets pregnant young, but you can't go more than 1, maybe 2 points outside your range without one partner being tremendously insecure, and therefore the partnership crumbles over time. The same will happen if one partner regresses (fat slob, gets lazy on sex) or progresses too much (dresses nicer, promotions at work, etc). The couple has to evolve or regress together. There's no other way IMO, and I was pretty good at "the game" before I wifed up my queen.

Assuming you have the looks and sex match (primal instincts always win out) and the guy (and the woman herself) understand the lady cycle, then you need to also communicate. For that, you read Men are from Mars, Women Venus... esp critical after menopause I would assume. That book shows you men mainly need to feel needed and appreciated for their conquests and prizes, and women mainly need to feel cherished and understood for their beauty and thoughts.


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

My wife is absolutely perfect!

For about 5 hours every 10 days or so.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

My wife. And no, I am not even being hyperbolic. The woman is an _incredible _wife, and damn near perfect.

She takes care of me. She always puts my needs first, even when I don't want her to.

She is filled with joy, light, and a genuine purity of heart and soul. This isn't a husband's bias, she gets told this everywhere she goes.

She loves sex, genuinely, for her own sake.

She is attracted to me, deeply, and consistently.

We have great chemistry together.

She has her own hobbies, her own life, and her own passions, outside of me.

She never tried to stifle, change, or control me. She knows it would never work for a man like me, and if she was able to, we wouldn't even be "us". She gives me plenty of breathing room to be me.

She is loyal, to a fault. She has never betrayed me, and even though she is a p*ssycat, she has a fiercely protective streak. If you phuck me over, she'll cut you out in two seconds flat. I've seen it happen.

She never argues, she _discusses_. This took me a long time to get use to, because I hail from a family where we frequently got in good, loud roes. Nope, not her. I recall her yelling at me twice, and I've known the woman for 18 years, and afterward she was mortified. 

She use to be a terrible cook, but she's gotten much better at it.

She does not stay stagnant. The woman I am describing today is NOT the woman who was here even 10 years ago. She only gets better with time. 

She believes in me, without ever wavering. Whenever I am feeling uncertain, or sure, about myself, she speaks genuine encouragement into me.

She is spiritual, and genuinely so. Not religious, but spiritual. There is a difference. She loves the Lord like I love the Lord. We both feel he is the third party in our marriage.

She is, by far, the best human being I have ever had the pleasure of meeting in my entire existence. That she happens to be my wife is incidental. 



The only things I would change about my wife was her having a stronger belief in herself, in her own strength, intellect, and capabilities. She tends to undersell herself, and she always has. That comes from a background with a parent who cut her down, who himself was too ignorant to even see the damage he was doing. She has also run into some body image issues for the first time in her adult life, having gained some weight, and she's working hard to resolve them, and get the weight off. 

She's so damn good, that I find myself constantly thanking God for her. She's the kind of good that I know that when I ever get irritated with her, our feel I need space from her, I quickly do an internal check with what's going on with ME. Nine times out of ten it's not anything wrong she's done, but just some issue inside of myself.

She is the best, period, end of story.


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

Partner, friend, and lover. I thought my stbxw WAS perfect until she proved me wrong.

My next wife will be perfect...


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Being perfect from time to time is easy, hell my wife has been mostly perfect since seperation ironically. The challenge is consistency, same as well for me. Perfection is a goal and never a status.

Hell for me come to think of it as well I consider my wife perfect as long as she shows me that she is trying to better herself and striving for perfection. That alone is enough for me.


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## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

I wonder, is there a perfect? We all change, and it seems that what was "perfect" in the beginning, eventually changes. As I read the stories on TAM, it makes me wonder at the difficulty of two people maintaining individuality enough to the extent that they don't drive their spouse off, yet not change so much that they drive them off or lose desire for them...


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## Anubis (Jul 12, 2011)

There is no absolute 'perfect'... but there is such a thing as 'perfect for me(us)'...

I should know... I found her.


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## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

Score!


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## Elk87 (Oct 8, 2012)

At this moment, perfection would be someone who looks at themselves, their marriage & their parenting, and accepts that change can & should happen, then ACTS on it. They would take action to make things better & not just sulk & blame others.

That's what I'm about to do, with or without her. She can either accept & own it and come along with me, or she can choose nothingness & throw away our marriage. I'm done settling for apathy.


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## T&T (Nov 16, 2012)

The perfect wife for me is someone who TRUSTS me enough to totally surrender in the bedroom and completely let down her guard.

The perfect wife to me is someone who can still make me yearn after years of marriage.

The perfect wife to me is someone who realizes that our relationship come first and everything else comes second.

The perfect wife to me is someone who can take pleasure in the little things in life.

The perfect wife to me is someone who cares and helps others.

The perfect wife to me is someone who is strong yet still looks to me as the "rock" in our marriage.

The perfect wife to me is my wife! I love all her little quirks because she is accepting of mine.

Best,

T


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

I'm the perfect wife for my husband and he's the perfect husband for me! Life is awesome.


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## mhg (Dec 5, 2012)

My girl. Perfect in every way.

After 14 years together, I crave her like there's no tomorrow.

She puts us first. She is ferocious in protecting me and our children. She greets me at the door every day with a huge smile and a big cuddle and kiss. Every day. 
She took in my two traumatised boys and raised them like her own, and turned them into brilliant young men.
She regularly makes the whole candlelit dinner thing for me, my favourite meal etc, and puts her whole heart and being into making me feel loved.
She is the sexiest, most appealing woman ever.
She laughs joyfully and often, has a terrific sense of humour.
I could go on for hours about my wife.

Watching our 4 children, aged 23, 19, 18 and 17, the younger three all boys, RUN to their mother for cuddles in front of friends/family/anyone that happens to be watching, makes her perfection even more profound. The epitome of a mother.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

I don't want a perfect wife, never did. What could be interesting about that? Her flaws are part of who she is and appreciating her for who she is, how she looks, what she knows, in my opinion, is what it's all about. Selection of a compatible mate is very important. My knowledge is very important. I don't want her to be anything, but who she is. I need to work on me, not on her.

Not trying to be snarky. It's my opinion.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

mhg said:


> My girl. Perfect in every way.
> 
> After 14 years together, I crave her like there's no tomorrow.
> 
> ...


I loved reading this, man. Thanks so much for sharing. How blessed you all are.


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## [email protected] (Dec 19, 2012)

jaquen said:


> My wife. And no, I am not even being hyperbolic. The woman is an _incredible _wife, and damn near perfect.
> 
> She takes care of me. She always puts my needs first, even when I don't want her to.
> 
> ...


You are so damn lucky Janquen....I had never asked for anything other than a great wife whom i can fall head over heels in love with...but you know my story...anyways felt really good that you've got what you wanted...really happy for you


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