# Appropriate Dating Range ? - Asking the Men..



## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

Hey all,

I know there are variables behind this. I have friends with wives 12+ years younger than them. 
I have dated older women. I have lived with older women and married older women. 
I know MY looks matter. 

I am not ready to date but I have a profile up to test the waters and feel it all out. I am analytical like that.

But I am wondering what men think is a realistic range. 
Currently I am looking 43 to 55. I know women lie about their age as well, my ex wife/narc did that.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Eh? 25+ all fair game

But I'm 36 😅


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> Eh? 25+ all fair game
> 
> But I'm 36 😅


Most women are sufficiently mature and experienced by 25 or a bit older to be able to choose to date someone older. I'd date anyone at least that old who _wants_ to date me, if I like them enough; I've dated as much as 27 years younger. It gets more complicated if things become serious, IMO. Eventually the age gap _could _create create major problems, esp. when the older is retiring and the younger can't yet do so, plus the various possible health issues that may develop with time. However, IMO it's more likely to work long term if they're within about 10 years of each other.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

If you are 55, I would say 45-60. However most women don't lie about their age. No more than men do anyway.


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## DownButNotOut (Apr 9, 2009)

answer two questions:

1. Is she an adult?
2. Is she dating you of her own free will?

If the answer to both is 'yes' then it's all good.


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## SnakePlissken (10 mo ago)

I'd focus more on her qualities and personality rather than age. 

Age changes, whereas qualities and personality tend to remain constant.

Hypothetically, I couldn't imagine dating a woman in her 20s at this point and I wouldn't want to make more babies, so I'd be 35+, if I were to factor age into the mix.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

I would say -10 to your age would be ideal. Any more than that, you may lack things in common. Don't go older than you are.

Both my ex and current wife were\are older than me. I don't recommend that.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

To an old cat, baby mice.


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## red oak (Oct 26, 2018)

If you hit it off with someone you hit it off.
I wouldn’t be too concerned about it, as long as they’re an adult.


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## Keepin-my-head-up (Jan 11, 2013)

# 
If she doesn’t know the above is also a pound sign, than she is to young for you


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

You did ask men and I am a woman, but....

I'd say it depends on what you want out of the relationship. My ex was 19 years older so I too have some experience with this.

If you want to have fun then you're free to see who's willing, although I personally think it gets creepy when you start approaching your kids ages.

If you want an actual long term partnership/relationship you're better off with less than 10 years. You can't have a real connection without shared experiences, which you're not going to have >10 years.

And it's pretty well documented that the odds of divorce go way up with increasing age differences. When one is 70 and the other is 55 or less you're going to have problems


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

DownButNotOut said:


> answer two questions:
> 
> 1. Is she an adult?
> 2. Is she dating you of her own free will?
> ...


This. What is deemed "appropriate" by strangers is unimportant. Date who you like.


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## Rooster Cogburn (10 mo ago)

-10 your age
+2 your age

BAM!


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## SurfsUpToday (Dec 6, 2021)

General rule is half your age plus 7. So a 40 year old would be ok with a 27 year old.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

If I was single (and have no desire to be at this juncture) there mostly isn't an age range I'd limit myself to if dating again. 18 to 55 all good.

I'd categorize objectives depending on age groups but each age would be open season that would find a niche with me.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Just dating what ever floats your boat. I knew a professor that was ex Army Ranger. He was late 50s dating 20s. Taking them scuba diving, sky diving, things like that.

For LTR I would say -10 +5. I went toward older women when I started. 1st one I was serious with was 34, I was 23. 

When I was 21/22 I used to see this fine thing at the club, I figured about 26.. above my pay grade in my mind. I would have been glad to have been on her radar. Funny thing she did not act stuck up...odd. one night a group of us were going to after hours club. I asked her if she was going and she said she could not go. I offered a ride and then she said they would not let her in. ???? Why not? I'm only 14 😳!!!!! WTH. OK bye! 

From that time on I was dating women who already had kids...till my wife, who was going through a divorce. You could say I was playing it safe in the age category.


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## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

The question is not" what age should I date", but "what age will date me". I think it matters heavily on where you are. Around my area, I find that most women live by the "date your age" rule. 

Since you mention "profile", I assume online dating. Your mileage may vary but I purposely faked my age 10yrs younger, and wouldn't you know it, nearly all matches are a few yrs to 10yrs OLDER. So at least in my neck, women are trying to "date down" too. I think it is part of the game with online dating as people think you can swipe your way into an upgrade. 

Also note that the majority of matches I see are FRESH on the market and technically not even single yet. They waste literally zero time so be careful. Also do N O T take online dating seriously!!! Like I have learned, you "swipe and forget"....Never hope and pray. Don't even think about it. There are certain types on there. I won't explain it here as I will get banned, but you will probably be far better off with traditional shopping. 

There are some good studies on OLD you can find. Just know that women work VERY hard to select and filter their pics. If all you see is head shots, just walk away, or at least don't waste the fuel on that adventure.

Oh, as far as dating younger women, be VERY careful there! You will read countless articles claiming women like the "maturity". That is mostly a scam. They want the "security"....and they will take an inventory asap. Protect your assets!!!


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

bobsmith said:


> The question is not" what age should I date", but "what age will date me". I think it matters heavily on where you are. Around my area, I find that most women live by the "date your age" rule.
> 
> Since you mention "profile", I assume online dating. Your mileage may vary but I purposely faked my age 10yrs younger, and wouldn't you know it, nearly all matches are a few yrs to 10yrs OLDER. So at least in my neck, women are trying to "date down" too. I think it is part of the game with online dating as people think you can swipe your way into an upgrade.
> 
> ...


All good advice.
Now, forewarned and armed, go forth and enter the skirmishes!


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## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

SnakePlissken said:


> I'd focus more on her qualities and personality rather than age.
> 
> Age changes, whereas qualities and personality tend to remain constant.
> 
> Hypothetically, I couldn't imagine dating a woman in her 20s at this point and I wouldn't want to make more babies, so I'd be 35+, if I were to factor age into the mix.


I think, if the plan was no kids, I would be more comfortable with a woman who was 45+ as opposed to someone who could become susceptible to thinking about time running out. I don’t believe that’s something you can be 100% certain of knowing (that it could unexpectedly come out after a few years).


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## Hopeful Cynic (Apr 27, 2014)

I don't think I could date anyone who couldn't understand my pop culture references. Youthful attractiveness is great for short-term, but for long-term, you kind of have to have social relevance to one another. if you're crossing generational lines, I think a relationship would be far more challenging.


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## SnakePlissken (10 mo ago)

Casual Observer said:


> I think, if the plan was no kids, I would be more comfortable with a woman who was 45+ as opposed to someone who could become susceptible to thinking about time running out. I don’t believe that’s something you can be 100% certain of knowing (that it could unexpectedly come out after a few years).


Good point! I agree.


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