# thoughtless sex



## Tanya22 (Dec 9, 2010)

My husband frequently masturbates looking at my butt and then just cums on me and sometimes he oils up my butt and slides up and down until he comes or he'll go inside my vagina and we'll have regular intercourse with him laying on my back and it's really good.

A few days ago he kept sliding up and down my butt and almost sticking it in my butt accidentally and then when it went in a little bit I asked him to take it out and he didn't.

I mean it was a little painful but that's not what's bothering me. He just didn't take my feelings into account at all and then it was like he had this long drawn out sex session with my butt, I wasn't really even involved.
I had already told him I didn't want to and he just completely ignored my wishes and kept doing what he wanted for what seemed like forever until he came.

I let it go for the time being but now I can't stop thinking about it for some reason.

Has anyone else ever had thoughtless sex like this where you kind of just lay there until it's over?


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

No. My husband cares about my feelings more than his own.
Before he wasn't very creative but following a routine.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

My thoughts as a guy... No means no, whether you're married or not. Unless you're in a fantasy/role-playing, in which case there should be safe-words that are respected. 

Secondly, I would suspect your guy wants to try anal sex but either doesn't no how to raise the issue with you, or thinks he knows what you're going say (or will be upset with him). Unless you want to experience that (and there's nothing wrong with that, one way or the other), I would suggest putting the hammer down quickly on his "thoughtlessness", as I'd guess he'll just keep pushing the limits until you either do so, or he gets what he wants.

And I could be totally off base on this... 

C


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

If you continue to be irresolute about what you want and don't want sexually, he will take that to mean maybe yes. I am going to say this is 70% your fault. It is your body, you are responsible for it and responsible to make sure nothing happens to you that you don't expressly desire. He does not own your body just because he is your husband. If he wants to try any sex act he must first ask and if you say no then that the end of it. 

If you continue the way you have so far, he will be sticking his p***s wherever he wants whether you like it or not. There is no telling what he will think up to do next. You are responsible so don't whine. Put your foot down. If he does not listen to a definite NO, then stop having sex with him and sit and talk outside of the bedroom. 

When you talk to him tell him that he must speak to you about what he would like to try and to communicate at all times. Let him know that he is treading dangerous ground if he attempts to do what you do not want to do. Many woman simply avoid sex with selfish insensitive men. 

There is no better method of getting his attention in this situation than a cease and disist. Make it very clear that he is having sex with YOU not your butt or other body parts. You are responsible for letting this dynamic get started and you are perfectly capable of making it stop.


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## Michelle27 (Nov 8, 2010)

Unless I read it wrong, it sounds like the OP DID in fact say she didn't want to do that. Because of that, and the fact that she asked him to pull his penis out when it "accidentally" (and I say that loosely...I suspect it was more on purpose than it sounds), HE is in the wrong. I think the OP needs to have a talk with him putting a boundary on penis in anus when they aren't in bed.


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## Draguna (Jan 13, 2011)

Tanya22 said:


> My husband frequently masturbates looking at my butt and then just cums on me and sometimes he oils up my butt and slides up and down until he comes or he'll go inside my vagina and we'll have regular intercourse with him laying on my back and it's really good.
> 
> A few days ago he kept sliding up and down my butt and almost sticking it in my butt accidentally and then when it went in a little bit I asked him to take it out and he didn't.
> 
> ...


This is wrong on so many levels. Well, from experience (and I learned) I can tell you that this can (almost) break up a relationship. 3 years into ours I almost did something as stupid, well, learned my lesson then. I don't even know why I did it if I think back. Probably being immature, a jackass and not thinking straight. 

Talk to him, but don't even hold back, just be as honest and you feel about this. Now, if he wants anal, and you do trust him enough to try it later, take it slow, research stuff online and be honest with how you feel when doing it.

If you don't want to, say no, and just stop sex if he ever tries again.


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## Drayvius (Nov 30, 2010)

kick him in the balls and then say "sorry was accident" .....I kid of course.....however I think that is horribly wrong to do something like that. Never EVER should someone not listen to their partner.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Drayvius said:


> kick him in the balls and then say "sorry was accident" .....I kid of course.....however I think that is horribly wrong to do something like that. Never EVER should someone not listen to their partner.


:rofl:


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Michelle27 said:


> Unless I read it wrong, it sounds like the OP DID in fact say she didn't want to do that. Because of that, and the fact that she asked him to pull his penis out when it "accidentally" (and I say that loosely...I suspect it was more on purpose than it sounds), HE is in the wrong. I think the OP needs to have a talk with him putting a boundary on penis in anus when they aren't in bed.


My post was purposely provocative to wake her up. She doesn't need to hear how bad a man her husband is. He is not bad just ignorant. This ignorance can endanger her desire for him and by extension endanger her marriage. That's why she she needs to act resolutely. I am not saying she is wrong but that she responsible for perserving her happiness with sex with her husband. I think it's bad to make him out to be a bad person. 

I am also not implying he is in the right, he is not. But he is making a very common mistake. He is probably not asking her out right because he is afraid she will say no. He may think that if he makes it erotic for her she will just let him do it. If you read some of the advice on the internet " how to get your wife to do ....." you'll be surprised what relationship experts advise. 

They advise something like he is doing, building up to sticking it in, if she does not say no when he is making love to her butt he takes that as a yes to proceed further and build up to the real act. Never expressly asking her for permission. Also the accident scenario is common. If she does not say nothing it means yes. 

So I cannot really demonize him, he is misinformed about the way he is going about having sex with his wife. He is making a mistake based on advice that is commonly given to men trying to spice things up. 

He may have strong fantasies to have anal sex and many other ones that have nothing to do with her desire to participate in this fantasy. 

OP you are in charge of you.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

I'd be happy if my husband would just get naked more often!

Be careful what you wish for, it might trickle to nothing...


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## moonangel (Jan 19, 2011)

PBear said:


> My thoughts as a guy... No means no, whether you're married or not. Unless you're in a fantasy/role-playing, in which case there should be safe-words that are respected.
> 
> Secondly, I would suspect your guy wants to try anal sex but either doesn't no how to raise the issue with you, or thinks he knows what you're going say (or will be upset with him). Unless you want to experience that (and there's nothing wrong with that, one way or the other), I would suggest putting the hammer down quickly on his "thoughtlessness", as I'd guess he'll just keep pushing the limits until you either do so, or he gets what he wants.
> 
> ...


I agree with this. It's wrong.


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## HelloooNurse (Apr 12, 2010)

You could solve this whole thing by, next time he does the "slip", stopping sex right there and saying "if you do that again, you can get out of the bedroom". Make it blatantly clear that you do not appreciate it so that he can't just "not hear you" or whatever. He might just be doing it as a warm up routine to have anal with you (you know how they do it little by little etc), he might not, he might have been thinking 1000 different things but you are not a mind reader and neither is he. So tell him LOUD AND CLEAR and then go from there.


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## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

It was disrespectful. Have you asked him why he continued on after you told him no. Of course it was all about him than you, will he say that to you, I doubt it, he will probably have a good excuse for you, if any. 

Be interesting to see how he would react if you were doing something, and he told you to stop or no, but you didn't.


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## tattoomommy (Aug 14, 2009)

If he did something against your will, he's wrong. I don't care his reason. I would be so pissed and my H would have an earful and would be sleepin on the couch for a week. No way would I stand for that. It sounds like he cares about what he wants and hopes you'll just go along for the ride. He should care about what you want.


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## nikon (Nov 9, 2009)

I think what he did was disgusting. He obviously wants anal sex and doesn't know how to get it (other than, oops... it was an accident). His mere obsession with your ass says it all. Look, sit down with him, say you've been thinking... remind him what "rape" is (when women say no and guys keep going)... and tell him clearly that you do not wish to have anal sex, just like he probably doesn't want a guy stick it into his ass either, and if he cares about you he will need to show a little less selfishness in bed. or you're finding someone else to **** on your terms. I hate men who just think they can get away with anything they see in porn movies and forget that their wives are not porn stars, but the person they are supposed to love, respect and take care of - not hurt!


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