# I think i want to leave my husband but im afraid to



## unsatisfiedwife

thank you for reading my story it may seem a little long but i just want to give you the whole picture so you can properly give advice about what i should do next.


We Met: i met him on craigslist i was tired of the same old usual guys who only have one thing in mind i was 20 at the time so i was still young but i was already tired of the fast life going out everynight partying drinking and being crazy with my friends. i wanted more. i wanted to roll over at night an fall aslep in the same arms and wake up to the same face for the rest of my life. i was clear on what i wanted. and i got hundreds of replies. one night i check my email and there he was he sounded like a great guy on paper and he left his number so i called him. that night we talked about everything there was to talk about. i fell in love with his openness and honesty. he stimulated my mind first and that was a big deal for me. when we first met he picked me up from a school i was completing my Ged test ( i passed) we went to Chic-Fil-A and watched a movie together. nothing big just something to meet for the first time. about two days later i made him dinner and we talked for hours. in the beginning it seemed like i was his everything he loved spending time with me even doing little stuff together was fun to us. he didnt have much money but i didnt care i saw his potential and i liked what i was seeing. from that first meeting we were inseparable he would come over every night and within a few weeks he had moved in. we went everywhere together and we did everything together i knew i loved him. i was never really completely attracted to him. not that he is a bad looking guy its just looks wise hes not my type but i still saw other things in him that drew me to him.


The Fall: after a while we moved out to Montgomery County into a townhouse. there was another couple that lived there and things got really weird. he was no longer interested in me as much which wasnt a big deal but everything changed. he was now working again which was a big step for us because our time was being cut short but then he wanted to come and play poker with the housemates and drink and smoke and hang out. this made me mad because i felt like i was being played he made me think something very different and he knew that i wanted a family and this lifestyle just didnt fit with what we were working towards. i started seeing things about the male in the other couple that i dint like. i just knew there was something off but my fiance at the time just wouldnt take my word for it. he kept time after time choosing to be with this guy over me. and then the guy cheated on his girlfriend in the same house on the couch that we all share while his girlfriend was downstairs. she caught him and that was it for me i hated him. i cant stand guys that have a great girl and treat them like trash. i told my man i didnt want him around him anymore but of course what did he do chose him again. time after time of being left behind i fell into a state of depression. i couldnt take all the neglect any longer. i begged him over and over again to spend more time with me and it seemed like i had completely lost him. now let me take you back for a moment because i skipped some things when we met we both live with my grandmother in Prince Georges County. i was working on an Album ( singing) and was always happy because my family was close by. but he moved me out to a new county away from everything i knew and loved. so i had already one through loosing my friends and family and now i was loosing the one who ripped me away from my family. while i was going through my depression i talked to my good friend and the producer of my Album alot he thought that it sounded weird that at first i wasnt that into my fiance and still had my life then he took me away and turned the tables on me but worse because i never did him like he did me. to sum up things i went crazy at that house and ended up in a mental institution for a week. but even after that i went back to him. i always put him first. and i still married him when i found out i was pregnant. but i only loved him now i was no longer in love with him and i definately didnt trust him. i barely liked him sometimes i looked at him as a threat now. someone i had to keep an eye on and not let get to close to me.


Marriage: we got married and once again he was unemployed but he wasnt clinging to me anymore no matter what he did for me he always seemed happier around other people. on the first week of our marriage we got into a hug fight about his sex drive it had gone done drastically. and every since then we still havent gotten back to where we were sexually but im not all about sex so that isnt a big thing to me. but what is is no matter where we go or what i do i am never enough for him i feel like he treats our marriage as a chore he complains that he does so much for me and i dont return the favors but i ask him to do so much because that is the only time i get anything out of him. and now i am worried that when this baby comes things will just get worse. there is only so much of being last on his list i can take and with the baby coming in a few months im not sure theres room for us in his life so i want to leave before i get hurt again. but he wants this baby so bad im afraid he will try to fight me on it and i have never worked since we've been together and that trip to the mental hospital could really hurt me. i want to leave him but i am afraid if i do i will loose my son too.


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## JoLoPe

There will always be someone who can advise you as to what to do. The thing is...you, and only you, have to live with the choices you make.

As much as it may be difficult to take it in, you already know what you need to do. You already know the "right" thing for you. You can gauge it by the quality of your reaction when someone tells you what to do.

We know within ourselves what is best, and when we ignore it, we tend to see things get worse, and often escalate. Some things are meant to be messages to change, leave, do things differently, and if we ignore them the next thing that comes along is stronger because the smaller signs didn't apparently work.

Going into the unknown is always uncomfortable because they are unknown. However, when you trust your gut, you will work it through. Fear is often a part of the package, but once you make the moves you need to, odds are you will find yourself wondering why you didn't make them sooner.

Having said that, you need to determine what it is that you want so that you know better what to do. If you react to the fear it is very possible your decision will be different than if you come from what you want. 

However, keep in mind, the only person you have any control over is you. If you are unhappy in a situation, all you can do is change the way you see it, and not the other person (provided that the situation is one you want to be in, and isn't detrimental to your well being).


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