# Is this trickle truth? Did she cheat?



## somebodysomebody (Aug 13, 2012)

Cant figure it out and cant contact her anymore cause she pressed charges on me for trying to contact her, gf of 3 years we were arguing alot, was rude to her and left one night, said I wasnt going to kiss her and she was acting weird, left, she never text goodnight or I love you for the next 4 days, called me up and broke up with me saying "Im done", no real reason, wouldnt talk about it, said "I love you and care about you" I said "no you dont otherwise you wouldnt be doing thing" she said "believe what you want to believe", I got pissed drove down to her place and talked to her about it more, she said "Im done, leave!" "I dont have even have any feelings for you anymore" "I love you but not romantically", I asked her for her phone and she wouldn't give it to me, I asked knowingly at that point "theres another guy?" and she dropped her head in shame and shook her head yes and I yelled "You cheated on me!?" She threw her hands out palms out and said "No! No, it was nothing like that, we only talked on the phone" and "I dont know, I think I just have a crush on him" She still wouldn't budge and I kept talking to her about all sorts of stuff, I asked her if I could sit down and she said "yes but dont touch me" which confused me and so I tried to touch her and she kinda freak out, TONS of tension there, then while talking she started to confess that she almost went on a date with a guy from work 1 year in to the relationship and that during a month she went on a date with a guy while we were broken up(i broke up with her for a month cause things werent working out) but she said he tried to kiss her but she didnt. I then later touched her on the leg jokingly and she said sadly "please dont", also a 2 weeks before this she we were arguing and she said that she "had a dream that she cheated on me to get out of the relationship"(we had been arguing alot) then said "I never would though..." so theres alot of red flags there, but when i asked her if she cheated on me she said no they only talked on the phone, I know she was being honest there, but she said "IT" was nothing like that. Is there still a chance that she cheated but with some different guy?? Are the two stories about the other dates a form of trickle truth? I cant just ask her cause she put charges on me for trying to contact her, and was a ***** about everything, she kept saying "Leave!" "Im done" "get out!", so far she is not with that other guy(he was married and told her that his wife cheated on him). It is just bothering me cause I would rather just know the truth of whether she cheated or not cause a month before she broke up with me but was like "I dont want to ever see you with another girl" and after we got back together after that she said she was going to call me anyways and work things out cause she was having all these dreams etc. so completely different from one month ago, seems to fast for such a drastic change in break up attitude. What do you guys think?

Also forgot to add that she said that I "pushed her over the edge" that night, when I wouldnt kiss her, she thought that I had pushed her away from me or something. I explained that wasnt the case and she said it doesnt matter anymore and i asked why and she said "I promised God id never have anything to do with you again, and im not about to break that promise", I asked why she would do something like that and she said "Cause! Im done! Get out! Leave!"


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

Can you paraphrase your post?


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## somebodysomebody (Aug 13, 2012)

AngryandUsed said:


> Can you paraphrase your post?


Paraphrase what part?

She also said she hadn't been able to eat for a week, and when I went down there it was obvious that she hadn't eaten anything
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

somebodysomebody said:


> Paraphrase what part?


Divide it into paragraphs so that it's easier to read.



> She also said she hadn't been able to eat for a week, and when I went down there it was obvious that she hadn't eaten anything
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Sounds like she's fallen in love. Not with you. With someone else [probably with one of the guys she went out with].


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## Twofaces (Dec 5, 2011)

Get out. Just leave. Leave her alone. Dont turn into a stalker. This could lead to something you may regret later. Put on your big boy drawers, man up and walk away from this little twit. Shes not ready to ne in a serious relationship. She does not want to be in a relationship with you. 

This sounds harsh, but someday you look back and say geez what a trip that chick was, glad i got away from her

Will it hurt? Yes! But you have to do it anyway. Time will heal you. In a few months you will be fine. Just keep yourself busy, hang out with your friends etc. And do not call her, see her or take her calls. 

This is a dead end street my friend. 

Good luck


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## Owyn (Jul 9, 2012)

It is possible she cheated on you even if she didn't have sex with him you know. An emotional affair is what could be driving her away from you, if she became attached to this other man.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

She's broken up with you, and told you to move on.

How badly and out of control did you act with her? I'm asking because RO's need a lot more than you kept calling her to get.


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## somebodysomebody (Aug 13, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> She's broken up with you, and told you to move on.
> 
> How badly and out of control did you act with her? I'm asking because RO's need a lot more than you kept calling her to get.


What are ROS?

She did day she felt like she cheated on me in her heart

It couldn't have anything to do with the guys she went on a date with that she feel in love with and she said she had only been talking to that guy for a week on the phone.

We were also engaged and she would always say stuff like "I want to spend the rest of my life with you" and"if we ever broke up id never Faye again cause I've set my heart on you"
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

somebodysomebody said:


> and she said she had only been talking to that guy for a week on the phone.


And what makes you think she hasn't kissed him yet?
Because she says so?
If she hasn't been romantically involved with you for a while now, I bet she couldn't care less about staying faithful to you.



> We were also engaged and she would always say stuff like "I want to spend the rest of my life with you" and"if we ever broke up id never Faye again cause I've set my heart on you"
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I suggest you read this thread. 
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping...ords-phrases-cheating-spouse-would-say-2.html

You might be wondering where you've heard those lines before. 

Being engaged doesn't prevent someone from cheating.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

somebodysomebody said:


> Paraphrase what part?
> 
> She also said she hadn't been able to eat for a week, and when I went down there it was obvious that she hadn't eaten anything
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Paragraphs! 








_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

somebodysomebody said:


> What are ROS?
> 
> She did day she felt like she cheated on me in her heart
> 
> ...


RO = restraining order. You said she had you charged and you had to keep away.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

There is too much drama with this woman. Healthy and happy relationships do not have this drama - they just don't. Take this opportunity to move on and upgrade your relationship style with a new and more mature person.


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## somebodysomebody (Aug 13, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> There is too much drama with this woman. Healthy and happy relationships do not have this drama - they just don't. Take this opportunity to move on and upgrade your relationship style with a new and more mature person.



Thanks


Its not actually an RO, its a stalking charge for two voicemails, they were non threatening.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## somebodysomebody (Aug 13, 2012)

Been looking over the common phrases of a cheating spouse and she even said "You were never even there for me" and "We never even had that much fun together", looks like she most likely cheated.

Would somebody say these things in even an EA? Or are they most likely in a PA?

List of some things she said that are common phrases
"I dont even have any feelings for you anymore"
"I love you but not romantically"
"You were never even there for me"
"We never even had that much fun together"
"I think I just have a crush on him"
"you just pushed me over the edge"

The pushed me over the edge one makes me think that she had a PA. What do you guys think? It wouldnt have been with the married guy, Im sure of that.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Yes, those same phrases are used whether EA or PA. I used some of them, myself, in my EAs. The most prevalent in mine was "he's just a friend, don't worry." But he was more than that. Same with my husband's EA.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## somebodysomebody (Aug 13, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> Yes, those same phrases are used whether EA or PA. I used some of them, myself, in my EAs. The most prevalent in mine was "he's just a friend, don't worry." But he was more than that. Same with my husband's EA.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Even the you just pushed me over the edge line?

And the  whole touching thing?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

somebodysomebody said:


> she said "Im done, leave!" "I dont have even have any feelings for you anymore" "I love you but not romantically", I asked her for her phone and she wouldn't give it to me, I asked knowingly at that point "theres another guy?"
> 
> I asked her if I could sit down and she said "yes but dont touch me" which confused me and so I tried to touch her and she kinda freak out,
> 
> ...


Despite her repeated requests, you go to her house, you ask her for her phone, you ask her all sorts of questions and you try to touch her repeatedly.

What part of "Leave me Alone and Get Out!" don't you get?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

> I promised God id never have anything to do with you again, and im not about to break that promise", I asked why she would do something like that and she said "Cause! Im done! Get out! Leave!"


So, she's not prone to exaggeration and hyperbole, then?

Does she thrive on drama and conflict?


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## somebodysomebody (Aug 13, 2012)

donders said:


> Despite her repeated requests, you go to her house, you ask her for her phone, you ask her all sorts of questions and you try to touch her repeatedly.
> 
> What part of "Leave me Alone and Get Out!" don't you get?


it didn't make any sense to me and I was trying to figure out what was going on. It was a three year relationship and we were engaged, I had questions
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## somebodysomebody (Aug 13, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> So, she's not prone to exaggeration and hyperbole, then?
> 
> Does she thrive on drama and conflict?


she blows things way put of proportion and had a huge temper issue, didn't know about that later in the relationship
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

somebodysomebody said:


> it didn't make any sense to me and I was trying to figure out what was going on. It was a three year relationship and we were engaged, I had questions
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Here's a summary.

She fell out of love with you and in love with someone else.

That's about the most you'll ever get out of her.


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

donders said:


> Here's a summary.
> 
> She fell out of love with you and in love with someone else.
> 
> That's about the most you'll ever get out of her.


:iagree: Let it go, gf and only for 3 years. If you come back in 5 years and say no other girl will ever go out with me at all, then we'll talk.

My 1st gf kicked me to the curb and i stalked her also. Then I realized i could have spent all that energy and passion in getting gf #2, so she could kick me to the curb :rofl:


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## somebodysomebody (Aug 13, 2012)

cheatinghubby said:


> :iagree: Let it go, gf and only for 3 years. If you come back in 5 years and say no other girl will ever go out with me at all, then we'll talk.
> 
> My 1st gf kicked me to the curb and i stalked her also. Then I realized i could have spent all that energy and passion in getting gf #2, so she could kick me to the curb :rofl:


It just wasnt that easy to let go i guess. It has been really hard on me, I didnt eat at all for weeks, couldnt sleep, nightmares, crying, uncontrollable pain etc.

after you have sex, we were both each others first, its hard to understand, it doesnt make any sense, it shouldnt, its not supposed to happen like this. But it does :/


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

somebodysomebody said:


> Even the you just pushed me over the edge line?
> 
> And the whole touching thing?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I didn't say "don't touch me" exactly. My body language said that. And, pushing me over the edge... no. He said pretty much that to me tho. I pushed him away so he didn't think I would care... that was his excuse.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Twofaces (Dec 5, 2011)

Dude, 

One more time. Let it go. Walk away. Your showing signs of true obsession and stalker tendencies. 

Walk away before you get yourself onto some serious trouble. 

I repeat. Walk The *** Away. 
:rant::rant:






somebodysomebody said:


> What are ROS?
> 
> She did day she felt like she cheated on me in her heart
> 
> ...


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## somebodysomebody (Aug 13, 2012)

Twofaces said:


> Dude,
> 
> One more time. Let it go. Walk away. Your showing signs of true obsession and stalker tendencies.
> 
> ...


I am walking away I just wanted to know if she cheated or not. Im still hurt over it all.


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## MAKINGSENSEOFIT2 (Aug 6, 2012)

somebodysomebody said:


> I am walking away I just wanted to know if she cheated or not. Im still hurt over it all.


She most likely did but you're never going to know. Concentrate your efforts on yourself and not on questions you're never going to get the answers to. Look at it this way.

If you were to find out today that she cheated on you what changes? You're still hurt correct? The relationship is still over correct? 

Like a few others have told you. You need to start taking the steps to move on. If you don't the only thing you're going to have to look forward to the back of a police car after you contact her again.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

MAKINGSENSEOFIT2 said:


> She most likely did but you're never going to know. Concentrate your efforts on yourself and not on questions you're never going to get the answers to. Look at it this way.
> 
> If you were to find out today that she cheated on you what changes? You're still hurt correct? The relationship is still over correct?
> 
> Like a few others have told you. You need to start taking the steps to move on. If you don't the only thing you're going to have to look forward to the back of a police car after you contact her again.


I can see where he might be able to trace back to moments when he should have been listening more closely. Maybe he could have done something about it, maybe not. But he would be more informed.

Given the wealth of information that I now have of my fiance's EA, I can see just every stepping stone and pivotal moment. My antenna was up but I was also "giving the benefit of the doubt." Now that I know what was playing in the back ground, you can be sure I will not be giving out anymore benefits.


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## MAKINGSENSEOFIT2 (Aug 6, 2012)

NextTimeAround said:


> I can see where he might be able to trace back to moments when he should have been listening more closely. Maybe he could have done something about it, maybe not. But he would be more informed.
> 
> Given the wealth of information that I now have of my fiance's EA, I can see just every stepping stone and pivotal moment. My antenna was up but I was also "giving the benefit of the doubt." Now that I know what was playing in the back ground, you can be sure I will not be giving out anymore benefits.


Yes, move forward while hopefully learning from the past so that history doesn't repeat itself.


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