# What are the odds?



## lilyflower_1978 (Jun 29, 2007)

My husband and I are trying a seperation. I'm very scared and nervous about where this will lead. I am hoping and praying we are able to find ourselves back on common ground and together. I'm curious to know if anyone has seperated but ended up working things out. Should I really be holding on to hope?


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## katharina (Jun 29, 2007)

lilyflower_1978 said:


> My husband and I are trying a seperation. I'm very scared and nervous about where this will lead. I am hoping and praying we are able to find ourselves back on common ground and together. I'm curious to know if anyone has seperated but ended up working things out. Should I really be holding on to hope?


I'd think "hope" would depend on what the issues were and if the two of
you are working toward fixing those issues. If you're just wanting "time
apart" but not trying to dissect what was wrong, that may be an area
to consider working on.


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## lilyflower_1978 (Jun 29, 2007)

Well it has been a couple weeks and it isn't working for me very well. I'm still as confused if not more about what he needs and what is going on with him. I personally feel if I was with him I could get a better understanding but he keeps saying he needs to figure things out on his own.


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## wjmay (Jul 24, 2007)

---removed---


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## katharina (Jun 29, 2007)

lilyflower_1978 said:


> Well it has been a couple weeks and it isn't working for me very well. I'm still as confused if not more about what he needs and what is going on with him. I personally feel if I was with him I could get a better understanding but he keeps saying he needs to figure things out on his own.


Does he ever share what it is exactly that he's trying to figure out? Or is 
he reluctant to even tell you what it is he needs or thinks he needs?


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## MrsLV (Jul 3, 2007)

Would he consider couples therapy so that you can work on it together?


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## SageMother (Jun 28, 2007)

lilyflower_1978 said:


> Well it has been a couple weeks and it isn't working for me very well. I'm still as confused if not more about what he needs and what is going on with him. I personally feel if I was with him I could get a better understanding but he keeps saying he needs to figure things out on his own.


Since he isn't communicating, it might be better for you to concentrate on getting life in order so that you can function better without him. That way you are prepared for any eventuality.


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## katharina (Jun 29, 2007)

SageMother said:


> Since he isn't communicating, it might be better for you to concentrate on getting life in order so that you can function better without him. That way you are prepared for any eventuality.


Sound advice here. There are surely some areas in which you can start to 
"branch out" and take care of by yourself. Whether or not you ever really need to use it, it's good to have the experience of being able to fully function
solo.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

lilyflower_1978 said:


> My husband and I are trying a seperation. I'm very scared and nervous about where this will lead. I am hoping and praying we are able to find ourselves back on common ground and together. I'm curious to know if anyone has seperated but ended up working things out. Should I really be holding on to hope?


The wife and I were on the step about a year ago. The problem was in the communication. Without truth in communication you will always feel lost. With it you will know where you stand. I would make it my best effort to open him up. Tell him it is important for the marriage to have a chance.

I wish you the best.

draconis


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