# My husband cheated on me with a swinger couple - now he has gonorrhea!



## waningmoon (Sep 15, 2017)

Hello everyone.

I'm a 26 years old woman married to a 37 years old man. As of now, we have been married for almost 3 years. Our marriage is great and we have a regular, healthy sex life as well. We have no kids but we were planning to start our own family soon.

Thing is, my husband was into the swinging lifestyle when he was single for long years before we met in 2013. Well, to be exact he was mainly into the interracial cuckolding thing. My husband is black and he played with these older white women whose husbands loved to watch. I'm a white woman btw. 

When we met and started dating, he told me about his swinger past which I was shocked about but he claimed that he wasn't interested in the swinging lifestyle anymore and he told all his contacts that he is out of it. He claimed that he was ready to settle down and be serious. 

Years have passed, and TODAY he admitted to me that last Friday (on September 8th) he CHEATED on me one time with this older woman who is 33 (actually it was a cuckold couple to be more exact, her husband was watching). My husband lied to this said couple that I was aware of what he was doing and I have my blessing on it. HELL NO! Anyway. She has her tubes tied or so she claimed with paperwork (which we all know can be faked). My husband came in her (how freaking irresponsible!) and here is the thing: he now has GONORRHEA! 

His symptoms showed yesterday and he went to a health clinic today. When he got home that's when he confessed. In addition my husband had unprotected sex with me this week (when he was still unaware of his condition) so it's possible that I have it too! I don't have symptoms as of now but I will go to a health clinic ASAP! 

He apologizes, swears it will never happen again and will spend the rest of his life make it up to me, claims he has learned his lesson, and says he would totally understand if I left. I love my husband and I don't want to leave him, but I also don't know how to go on with our marriage. I have been so under shock all day that I couldn't even cry. I feel so confused, angry, and betrayed.

Sorry for the long post.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Even if he doesn't know it (and I suspect he does), he's lying. He'll never stop.

Do yourself a huge favor and file for divorce first thing tomorrow morning.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

waningmoon said:


> Hello everyone.
> 
> I'm a 26 years old woman married to a 37 years old man. As of now, we have been married for almost 3 years. Our marriage is great and we have a regular, healthy sex life as well. We have no kids but we were planning to start our own family soon.
> 
> ...


Run! Run far away!


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

OP- I am in a couple that does this, I have come across many, many married men who want to participate in this. They don't stop at once, the men I come across have been doing it and will continue doing it for years. He looked for them purposefully. It is often unsafe sex as that is part of the thrill for many. 

He told you because he caught an std. He has likely done it before and will likely do it again. 

Look for accounts of his on adult friend finder, fetlife and Craigslist. I'll bet you he has an active profile somewhere that will show a history of this


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## Roselyn (Sep 19, 2010)

OP, you must leave at once & get tested. Your life is in danger. Get tested for everything. Sorry you are here.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

OP- feel free to private message me and I can assist in searching both aff and fetlife at least if you want. If you have no access to his computer history. That'd be your first stop. Look at saved passwords, history, secondary emails and accounts. 

AFF allows you to search location, race, age. Would be easy. 
Fetlife doesn't search that way but I could look in your local city's hotwife and swingers groups for anyone matching his description. 
Craigslist is a wash. He'd likely use a fake email account though you can search your local Craigslist site for M4MF postings and see if you can find him. 
Or, make an ad as a MF couple looking for a bull and see if he responds. 

Sadly I make ads and end up with messages from men who's wives I know. It amazes me how many people, married people, respond. 

You need all the information IF you stay, you can't make that choice until you know everything.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Yes, please take it to PMs.

Geez.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

GusPolinski said:


> Yes, please take it to PMs.
> 
> Geez.


Yes it's yucky to many but her husband is into it and she should know how and where to sleuth. At least common sites. Many have accounts on a few or all. 

I'd go as far as suggesting every BS check for accounts on various sex sites and knowing about them and how to search them is important. 

Cheating is yucky and many married people are using these sites. This is no different than checking Facebook accounts or text messages imo.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

Your husband did a very unloving, disrespectful, and endangering act, and I'm not speaking in general, but specific to what he KNEW were your boundaries and levels of acceptance.

He knew you didn't agree so he lied to get what he wanted and what he didn't want, he may very well have shared with you.

I personally would not have a moments hesitation in divorcing him. I'd be filing as we speak. This man does not love you.


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## becareful2 (Jul 8, 2016)

> Gonorrhea and chlamydia are risk factors of infertility. If gonorrhea and chlamydia are left untreated, there is a chance that they may cause pelvic inflammatory disease (PID). According to the Centers of Disease Control and Prevention, ten to 15 percent of women with chlamydia develop PID.


Your love for him didn't keep him from cheating, did it? You are so young and married to a sex addict. If you think a sex addict can stop because he tells you he loves you, you may be in for a rude awakening. He's going to do it again.


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## waningmoon (Sep 15, 2017)

Thank you everyone for your answers and helpful advice. I really appreciate it.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

I am going back to Mars....
I need a break....

I need to brake....
This ride we call Life on Earth....

I love this living, but I am too old to do this, What? Rollerskate....
On Mars I can run and bike. Here? I will, I shall, tempt my Fate....


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

I would suspect he spent quite a while in this lifestyle and only got married because he was getting old. Also he may only have confessed because he has to because of the disease.

Otherwise it sounds as if he is well connected to this community and will continue to betray you, or he will make more and more elaborate and unbelievable lies and concealments. 

Get a divorce he is likely addicted to this behavior.

Tamat


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

waningmoon said:


> Thing is, my husband was into the swinging lifestyle when he was single for long years before we met in 2013. Well, to be exact he was mainly into the interracial cuckolding thing. My husband is black and he played with these older white women whose husbands loved to watch. I'm a white woman btw.
> 
> When we met and started dating, he told me about his swinger past which I was shocked about but he claimed that he wasn't interested in the swinging lifestyle anymore and he told all his contacts that he is out of it. He claimed that he was ready to settle down and be serious.
> 
> Years have passed, and TODAY he admitted to me that last Friday (on September 8th) he CHEATED on me one time with this older woman who is 33 (actually it was a cuckold couple to be more exact, her husband was watching). My husband lied to this said couple that I was aware of what he was doing and I have my blessing on it. HELL NO! Anyway. She has her tubes tied or so she claimed with paperwork (which we all know can be faked). My husband came in her (how freaking irresponsible!) and here is the thing: he now has GONORRHEA!


Wow..... Thought I had problems. 

Finding time this weekend to get those cookies baked by Monday for my kid's school bake sale isn't looking so dire anymore.

Anyway.... good luck with that.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

All this talk of swingers and cuckolding and stuff is nothing but a big red herring and smoke and mirrors that don't really mean anything.

You were taken in and duped by an older, smooth-talking player that reeled you in with his lines and smooth talk. 

Young women in their early 20s think these older men in their mid 30s and beyond schmooze and marry them because they are younger and cuter and nicer than the fat, ugly, mean ol' hags their own age. 

But the real reason is women their own age have their number and can smell their crap a mile away and won't put up with their BS.

And young women are easier for them to use and manipulate and get them to buy they crap.

This is really very simple - he is a lier and a cheater and a manipulator and a con man. 

You can either buy into his stories and continue to be duped and manipulated and cheated on.

Or you can walk away before you will be stuck with children and more debt and additional STD.s.

Either way, in another 10 years you will be able to spot the predator and player out of the crowd and know to stay away also.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

So...

I pretty much know you can do better than old slime pecker.

Please believe it yourself.

There are far better men than the lizard you married.

Give your heart where it is worthy and earned.

The troll you married isn't worth looking back at as you walk out the door.


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

How ugly, https://www.cdc.gov/std/gonorrhea/arg/default.htm, antibiotic resistant gonorrhea.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

The outer shell had appeal. 

That WH feller, had shine, maybe glitter.

He carried his big head high.
He carried and dragged his little head low.

The inner man in the inner shell had doth appall.

Alas, not to all.

Men own their tools.
His tool owns the man.


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## TAM2013 (Jul 15, 2013)

When you say older woman OP, do you mean older than him or older than you?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

TAM2013 said:


> When you say older woman OP, do you mean older than him or older than you?


So, she is 33, thus she is younger than your husband and only 7 years older than you, @waningmoon?

You also need to be tested for all other types of "social diseases" and do not forget about HIV.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

Op is 26
Ow is 33
Wh is 37


Edit, nevermind was already answered


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## TAM2013 (Jul 15, 2013)

You read the OP thoroughly?


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

SlowlyGoingCrazy said:


> .
> Op is 26
> Ow is 33
> Wh is 37
> .


If those were a ladies 'figuring' numbers...

I would have to stand on my head to make her look good.


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## Jus260 (Mar 24, 2016)

I'm 41 now. My wife and her friend are a year older than me. When they were 25, her friend was dating a 37 year old janitor working at the local univ in my avatar. They came over for dinner one night. Somehow I ended up asking him his age. At a later date, I asked my wife's friend what other than a vagina and a penis did she have in common with a 37 yr old man. She really couldn't couldn't come up with anything. I don't know if that dose of reality is the reason they broke up or not but that union didn't last long.


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