# Signs of Depression vs Marital Affair



## Chum (Oct 16, 2012)

Good morning,

I am wondering if there are any good resources to understand the differences between depression and marital affair. The basic "lists" I see on the web (I.e. "is your spouse having an affair" and "is your spouse suffering from depression") sure are VERY similar and I am interested in looking for any differences (major and/or subtle) in behavior there might be between the two. I.e.: Is there something that can be seen/noticed in one situation vs the other to help give a clue?

Appreciate the help!

Regards.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

There are very little similarities between depression and an affair, except with how the spouse feels isolated by the behavior. Look beyond how her behavior makes you feel and watch HER.

Does she sleep a lot?
Does she have trouble sleeping?
Does she isolate herself from everyone?
Does she smile at all?
Does she cry or is she being extra sensitive about everything?
Does she avoid social situations?
Is she gaining or losing weight?
Difficulty concentrating?


----------



## Chum (Oct 16, 2012)

Thank you for the reply. That is helpful.

From what I've read, there actually are some similarities between the two. Many times, during an affair, people's behavior changes so they can justify actions that they know are wrong. They are living in a dreamland of lust and wishful thinking. Some of the similarities I noted are:

- withdrawal from family/relationships (due to the fact that they are focused on someone new which can take up a lot of time/emotional energy)
- irritability (stress of getting caught, living two lives, creating a bad environment in the home to justify the new relationship, plus hiding something so wrong takes a lot of effort!)
- argumentative nature that my have not been there before (to make the spouse look bad to justify the affair)
- lack of interest in activities that once made them happy (they are in a fog of obsession thinking about the other person and wishing they were with them rather than doing laundry or cleaning up after the kids)
- listless or inattentive (again, focused on the new partner and not interested in the task at hand or the spouse/family)
- low sex drive (needs are being met by another)

These are just a few of the signs I noted that appear similar in nature between the two. The additional items you noted are helpful.

Thanks again for the response!

Regards.


----------

