# Was I right or wrong?



## Happilyunhappilymarried (May 13, 2018)

Hi Ladies, need an advice or a point of view from your end for a current situation and mindset I am stuck in.
For basics, I am 3 years married to the love of my life after being in a long distant relationship for 2 yeard woth him. I wont say I am happily married because I don't know how does being happily married feel like.
So, me and my husband decided to go for a couple's massage. There are massage parlours wherein men go to have happy endings and I had been asking my husband if he ever experienced it earlier. However he rejected the it and said he would never pay for such things. Eager to know the feeling and experience we mutually decided that he would get a hand job from the masseuse. I didn't want him to do these things without me and wanted him to not miss out such things. 
So i was sitting in the same room where 
He was getting the massage done. Now came the time for her to give him a handjob, I saw it and kinda enjoyed it watching. He came within 10mins which he never earlier in past 5 years. 
Later after we left, i asked him how was his experience, he said it was different and he enjoyed it and now he understood why men pay for it. The way she did for him was somwthing new and he had never experienced it ever.

Guys, I am really confused and stressed out here. Need your help. I feel this thing is going to backfire on me in future. I feel jealous and insecured about it. He tells me that he would not do it again in future without me but I hardly believe it. 

If he liked it so much why wont he do it again? It was an amazing experience and i feel terrible. How do i trust and be sure that I would not be hurt. 

😞


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Uh, what did you expect?

Whether you were in the room or not, another women played with your husband's penis.
That is your' property, nobody else's.

You put your' property in some other women's hands and now you are feeling concerned and jealous?

What were you thinking?

Never do this again.
Tell him that you made a mistake in doing this and that this will be the 'only time' it will happen.

Then drop the subject and hope it stays down, never pops up again.

You did this to yourself...


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## TheBohannons (Apr 6, 2018)

You should feel terrible for feeling terrible! You initiated, it, pushed for it, watched it and enjoyed it. Now you have a problem with it? Understandable, but you live and learn.

Think, dont feel. The main reason he gave for not doing it in the first place, is that he would not pay for sex. You dont understand that, because you are not a man. A handjob is a handjob and while they are good, they are rarely amazing, unless done in conjunction with something else. The something else in your situation was YOU. You participated in this threesome as a voyeur. 

We freely discuss fantasies, but she has told me on more than 1 occasion, no matter how much she may enjoy the moment, the next day she would divorce me or kill me in my sleep. Since I value breathing air, and particularly her air, we leave fantasies of others strictly for porn viewing.

This is a valuable lesson to you. Threesomes are for laptops, not real life. You are possessive of your man and that is a good thing

I would not stress on it. If you are not there, he will not pay for it.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Learn some different hand job techniques.


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## PigglyWiggly (May 1, 2018)

do you finger his prostate with your own handjobs? He was right there and should be able to explain what she did that got him off. Add the prostate play and you have a mind blowing orgasm


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## Silver92 (Oct 28, 2016)

Honestly I think the fact that you wanted him to try this and watched in excitement is probably most of the reason why he enjoyed it so much. It was something taboo and it got him really excited. Nothing wrong with that long as you can trust he won't go to get jerked off without you. This type of play is becoming more and more acceptable in relationships. Its a dangerous game but if you both agree you play together it can add a lot of excitement to your life to spice up the marriage. I know a couple who maybe once or twice a year will go to a swinging party. He says they don't participate in full on swapping but do play a little bit. He says once they get home by themselves they have the best sex, it's wild and no hold bar. It is something more common in older marriages where the spice up is more needed. But sometimes the family life with young children can be very sexualy frustrating and if that's helps spice up the marriage then it's what ever works for you. Just remember there is fine line that is easy to cross when you go down that road.


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## Happilyunhappilymarried (May 13, 2018)

Thanks guys, i learnt a lesson and got the point.


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## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

Happilyunhappilymarried said:


> Hi Ladies, need an advice or a point of view from your end for a current situation and mindset I am stuck in.
> For basics, I am 3 years married to the love of my life after being in a long distant relationship for 2 yeard woth him. I wont say I am happily married because I don't know how does being happily married feel like.
> So, me and my husband decided to go for a couple's massage. There are massage parlours wherein men go to have happy endings and I had been asking my husband if he ever experienced it earlier. However he rejected the it and said he would never pay for such things. Eager to know the feeling and experience we mutually decided that he would get a hand job from the masseuse. I didn't want him to do these things without me and wanted him to not miss out such things.
> So i was sitting in the same room where
> ...


Oh, ****! You were the one eager to go, not him! Of course you knew what would happen, and now you come here to complain???

I cant even... I can hardly take this setiously, because I cant read this without seing it as a joke.

What a bully, you set the poor man up! If you didnt want this kind of problem in your marriage you shouldnt have invited it in the first place. This is the real world.


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## Steve2.0 (Dec 11, 2017)

You created this situation... actually surprised that you OK'd him getting a handjob while you were there... but it could be thrilling and it was.

*Are you just concerned that he enjoyed her handjob more?*
If so, i wouldnt put too much thought into that because there are things you need to realize.
1) This girl is very skilled with her hands and fingers
2) This girl gives a handjob with the purpose of ending it quickly (need to get the next client in) 

All you need to do is look online for some handjob tutorials and tips... Use generous lube, and you will give him a handjob as good as that lady.... Sure, the excitement of another women touching him while his wife watching wont be there... but the physical enjoyment of it should be the same if you learn some techniques.

Every once in a while my wife will ask me to 'hurry up' when she is pleasing me.... and my response is always the same "put some enthusiasm behind it and i will" -> Its always when she is not putting effort or is clearly thinking about something else. I've stopped her a few times. Make it seem like you WANT to do what your doing and it will also go a long way. Hookers might be disgusted by the person but will make it seem like he is the best lover in the world.... try to capture some of that


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

This pretty normal. You will probably find yourself needing some more reassurance from him for a little while, so talk to him so he knows you are feeling jealous. Communicating about these things are the key to it not disturbing your relationship. I don't know your husband so I can't say if he would do this again without you but by talking about it you make it far less likely. My guess is you if you get the reassurance from him and get back over the jealousy and insecurity you will find yourself fantasizing about doing it again. Or maybe you'll be the one getting the happy ending lol.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

chillymorn69 said:


> Learn some different hand job techniques.



THIS!!!!!!

this an opportunity to become better lovers to each other....learn and grow together.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

You need a spankin!

Just sayin...


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## VermiciousKnid (Nov 14, 2017)

That squeaking sound you hear is Pandora's box opening. Now you've done. He really liked it too. No going back at this point. Who knows where it will go.


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