# Custody Schedule with Ex as a Baker



## IOBits (Apr 30, 2013)

Okay, so it's been a while here since I posted. My ex has decided to be a baker, though, and now has extremely weird hours (well, normal for bakers from what I can tell) and is concurrently going to school part time.

As a result, this makes scheduling quite difficult. Right now we have been on a very strange schedule where the kids end up at both houses almost every day, transitioning once or twice a day.

I was wondering if anybody has any experience with working on joint custody schedules when there is a strange work schedule involved, such as bakers hours that run from 3am to noon. Am I crazy to think that there is anything but a full custody with visitation a few days a week?


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Yikes. I understand the why's of the current arrangement, but if a judge ever gets hold of this he or she will hate it. Judges usually try to give the kids a bit more stability than that. I think the idea of full custody with extremely liberal visitation would probably be best. Growing kids aren't responsible for dad going to work at 3 am.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

I agree with Pluto....the more that kids go back and forth the more disruption. 

Put yourself in the kids shoes, what would you like if you were them? 

For me, I'd like a consistent schedule where I could stay put the majority of the week and visit the other parent few days a week.


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

I've just read your past posts. 

Please clarify: are you legally divorced ? 
If so, for how long, what was the custody set at the time of divorce, what child support and spousal support are you providing ? 
Are you both still LDS members? 
What are both of your's living arrangement?
Finally the school your (something ?) wanted to attend two years ago a baking school?


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## IOBits (Apr 30, 2013)

JohnA said:


> I've just read your past posts.
> 
> Please clarify: are you legally divorced ?
> If so, for how long, what was the custody set at the time of divorce, what child support and spousal support are you providing ?
> ...


Divorce is not finalized. That's the process we're both trying to push through now. We've been physically separated for a year and a half. I've been making "personally estimated" support payments so that she has money to live on while we figured out how to work through the arrangements. Those payments have been way more than any calculation I could find recently, though, but generally to support her budget without impacting mine to the extent possible.

We are both still members, though she works most Sundays and doesn't get to attend church.

I am living at my mother's house and she still in the rental that we lived in for years prior.

The school that she has been attending is a high end baking school. Last summer she started working full time in addition to the part time schooling. That is when the bulk of the parenting landed on me (and my mother who has been helping).
@Pluto2 - I'm the dad in this case. I have a normal 9-5 M-F job. I get the kids to school most days and then head off to work.
@All - I'm realizing the large custody in my favor with generous visitation is likely best. What does that mean for transitions and stuff like that?


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

Okay, do you have a lawyer or is this you two on your own? Custody makes everything ugly so, be prepared for trouble if you go for sole custody. Still, even as the father, stability is very important to judges.

Clarify what you mean by transitions.


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

Why the hell did you move out and not her? Are other men in the house ? Let you stay in the house, she picks up the kids and splits when you get home.


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

Get a lawyer with a spine. Tell him you want full custody, she pays you child support, no alimony, discuss what you have to do to get it and then walk away. Do not talk to your WW about it, just refer her to your lawyer.

You are up to 6 (?) years dealing with this. Enough !!!!


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

@IOBits, a thousand apologies for my assumption. I know a baker and its a guy.

File the papers in court to request full custody due to Mom's change in profession and erratic work hours. If there is a custody agreement this would certainly qualify as a substantial change of condition. These changes were hers, so drop-off/visitation should be what works best for you and the kids. Or at least I'd start off with that mindset and negotiate.

And what is this about 6 years?!


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

He had two threads from 2013. His wife has been adulterous with several men going back 8 years now. Hence my question about posm(s) in the house with his kids. 

This site seems to have a good overview of custody laws in CA.
Child Custody Laws California - California Child Custody Laws, California Child Custody Lawyers Attorneys

What are your church leaders doing to help you protect your sons ?


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## Popcorn2015 (Sep 10, 2015)

JohnA said:


> What are your church leaders doing to help you protect your sons ?


Great question.


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## DanielleBennett (Oct 9, 2015)

Geez, maybe the judge needs to redo the visitation schedule. You shouldn't have to go around those crazy work times, especially if you have a job of your own at other hours. I would seek some legal counsel for this and see if you can get a new visitation or custody agreement.


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