# Words that hurt...



## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

Got a call this am from DD (18 and staying with the STBXH for now, her choice.). In the course of the conversation she asked me for my opinion (advice) about showing up early for a job interview she had scheduled. Gave her my .02 worth. She then said she was going to call her dad and ask him because "he has all the answers." OUCH! That cut me to the quick to hear that from her. I really had to bite my tongue to not respond with my usual sarcastic type comment. But I did think the following: "Yeah, the answer man, he may have all the answers but very few may be the RIGHT answer. Answers?! Like his answer to abandon US (including her) and take up residence with the Man Poacher? And so forth and so on...

She doesn't like hearing me express my feelings , even vaguely or generically. I'm sure she doesn't realize the impact that phrase is having on me.


----------



## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

ouch.

Try not to dwell, he is still her father and even though he is foolish she will always look up to him in ways a wife or even ex wife can't. Ultimately she will do what she wants anyway, so slandering him, even if it is ethically justified, will hurt your daughters own respect for you.

This new life sucks, but I think the sensitive parts will eventually toughen up and when it does you will wear those callouses proudly knowing that you did what you had to for the love of your children.


----------



## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

Yes,I understand that she loves her dad. I do my damnedest not to disparage, slam, or otherwise negate him to her.

She has, herself, referred to him as a cheater when she asked me why would I want to take him back (this was in the beginning when I would have done virtually anything to get him to come back.) She's very perceptive in these things, whether it's my situation or her friends. She knows me so well that a sigh from me will tell her exactly what I'm thinking. It's almost scary!

I sincerely hope that he doesn't let her down by making committment or promises that can't be kept.


----------

