# Choosing a Counselor During Lengthy Separation



## arbitrator

After 7 years of marriage, my STBXW and I have been apart since May, 2011 all at her sole request. We now live in separate cities some 30 miles apart. When we living together, we saw a mutual counselor in a major city some 100 miles away. I thought this counselor was pretty good, but seemed to side with my wife more often than not and I really don't know if that was due to the fact of my wifes comfortable wealth. I do know for a fact that she still sees this counselor on a regular basis. My STBXW has recently filed the petition for divorce, and inconspiculously placed a copy of it in my home; but I have not yet been legally served with the petition and summons. Since the beginning of the separation, she has chosen to not communicate with me by phone, mail, or whatever, other than for one random email asking if I had found the petition of divorce that she left in my house.

Given my situation, I feel I really need some counseling. But given the impending divorce situation, I don't really know if it is wise to make an appointment with our old counselor in the metropolitan area, or to contact them and have them recommend a counselor here locally, or just go out on my own and find one for myself.

Any advice in this area would be greatly appreciated!


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## accept

Why do you need counselling. You are going to divorce whatever happens.


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## arbitrator

That's pretty much a given! But I didn't in any way say "marriage counselor." I along with my Pastor just feel that I, as well as my sons, need some serious direction in getting through this divorce process. It is very gut-wrenching for me at times and that is why I'm seeking advice in dealing with the entire process!


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## This is me

I think it is a good idea to seek counselling. It is a process of detachment and mourning. Who ever you see should be someone you think is good for you. Ask around for a referral if possible and don't stay with one you are not getting the right vibe with. Remember they are humans and bring their own issues and POV with them.


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