# Separated for 3 months



## Mt. Wife (Mar 8, 2012)

Hello
My husband moved out in January of this year. At first he was adamant that he wanted a divorce. Since then he's been back & forth wanting to worki it out, needs time & etc. He texted me the other day & said he wanted to assure me that there would be no divorce.
I called him & said then we need to start working on things while we're separated. 
In the mean time he dosen't want anything to do with me, sends me an occassional text. He won't call, he insists on texting only. The past 3 months has been very hard.. He gave no notice, just said I have an apartment & I'm moving out.
Granted we've had our troubles, but it would've been nice if I could've at least been told something prior, not feel like I'm having a bomb dropped on me.
We've been together for 10 years. We both agreed on couple therapy. He said he wants to work on himself first with his theripst before doing the couple therapy. 
That was fine.. But I haven't a kiss, hug, an I love you, nothing.. He literally dosen't want to see me at all it seems like. He insists on doing the laundry at our house, when I asked him to go to the laundrymat.. He says he can do whatever he wants his name is on the deed too. I have left him alone, I don't go to his apartment, I'm not contacting him every day as he asked. But he's like jekal & hide.. And I feel like he's toying with my emotions. I'm too the point now after just hearing the words that he dosen't want a divorce, but no action of acting like he wants the marriage in any way, is starting to cause me to just feel like it might be better to just move on.. I've shared all of this with him, & it goes to deaf ears.. I'm getting tired of being rejected feeling unwanted & unloved. Any advice from anyone would be appreciated thanks


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

This sounds a bit like my wife. Early November she up and walks out and seperates from me for 4 months. She just moved back this weekend. We have been in MC and after 2 months of limbo I told her we either need to spend more time, like weekends to we need to divorce. She opted for the weekends, which lead to her moving back.

The jury is still out on whether the marriage can be saved, but we are working at it.

I believe my wife was the text book Walk Away Wife syndrome. The female version of a Mid Life Crisis. They experience something that puts them into a fog. I think the fog is lifting a bit as they realize the grass is not greenier.

How old is you husband?


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

BTW, I can relate to the unloved rejected feeling. Even though she is back it is still a sexless marriage with some light affection.

I recommend reading Divorce Busters if you want to save the marriage. Patience is the key.


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## Mt. Wife (Mar 8, 2012)

This is me said:


> This sounds a bit like my wife. Early November she up and walks out and seperates from me for 4 months. She just moved back this weekend. We have been in MC and after 2 months of limbo I told her we either need to spend more time, like weekends to we need to divorce. She opted for the weekends, which lead to her moving back.
> 
> The jury is still out on whether the marriage can be saved, but we are working at it.
> 
> ...


He's 50. Glad to hear that your making some progress in your marriage


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## Mt. Wife (Mar 8, 2012)

This is me said:


> BTW, I can relate to the unloved rejected feeling. Even though she is back it is still a sexless marriage with some light affection.
> 
> I recommend reading Divorce Busters if you want to save the marriage. Patience is the key.


Thankyou for your input


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## dazed/confused (Jan 18, 2012)

I can feel what you are going through. You don't want the separation or the divorce but you are trying to be respectful of his wishes and you are being drug through the wringer and it doesn't seem to be ending. Sorry about that. Do you have kids?


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## Mt. Wife (Mar 8, 2012)

This is my 2nd marriage. My kids are grown.. My youngest is 19. Yes it really does feel like being drug through the wringer isn't ending. And it's getting old. I'm to the point now that I really don't want to talk to him at all. But if anything good is coming out of this mess, it's made me stronger. Thankyou for your kind words.


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

Mt. Wife said:


> He's 50. Glad to hear that your making some progress in your marriage


Could this be a midlife crisis?


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## Mt. Wife (Mar 8, 2012)

Mamatomany said:


> Could this be a midlife crisis?


It very well could be..


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## River1977 (Oct 25, 2010)

It may be midlife crisis, but I wouldn't be sitting around waiting for him to decide my life. Get out and do some things. Meet people. Even read a good book to get your mind off of him.



This is me said:


> I believe my wife was the text book Walk Away Wife syndrome. The female version of a Mid Life Crisis. They experience something that puts them into a fog. I think the fog is lifting a bit as they realize the grass is not greenier.


That is not even close to the definition of Walk Away Wife Syndrome. Please read what it is about so you won't continue minimizing and demeaning it.


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

There's a forum all about midlife crisis where you can get different perspectives. Divorce Remedy has a chapter on it as well.

midlifeclubforum.com


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

I`d be thinking affair for sure.
Have you looked into the probability that he`s seeing someone else?

Separations are never actually good for a relationship.

I`d have divorce papers served on him, when he freaks out and demands to know what the hell you`re doing tell him...

"I'm getting tired of being rejected feeling unwanted & unloved."

..so he`d better get his **** together.

Don`t let him force you to live in limbo, you should force him to pull his big boy pants on and decide how he wants to live life.


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