# Weight and sexual desire



## Knoxvillekelly (Mar 17, 2012)

Im a little over weight, not bad, but I have many friends that struggle with serious weight issues. Being over weight really effects the sexual desire. Its hard to feel sexy when you look in the mirror and hate your self. And how are we supposed to get turned on when our man is a big pile of jelly. Looks like the FDA is coming to the rescue with a new drug that helps those fighting with weight issues. The FDA just approved a drug called Belviq and it works a little like fen-phen only safer. It works by helping your brain control your desire to eat and with diet and exercise people lost weight. 

www.belviq.ws has all the skinny (LOL) on this. It also seems to work well with people battling diabetes.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Why not just quit eating grain products and sugar?


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## CrazyVixen (Jun 14, 2012)

I've had this issue in the past. Before you can actually lose weight you need to look at your failed attempts. You have to really get to the root cause of your weight and why it spiralled out of control. 
Was it stress? Emotional eating? Lack of motivation? "Not enough time" to eat healthy or enough money?

Figure out the reason. That is the first step.

Second, drugs are not the solution to everything. Sometimes you have to do things the hard way. I would try working out. At least once a day for 30 minutes. You can step it up to an hour when you feel ready. 

Losing weight takes time and dedication before you see the pay-off. In the meantime just the act of working out will get your blood pumping for sex and help you in feeling more confident.

In a weeks time you will already feel healthier. Oh, and lots of water, of course I had to add that in there. I have quite a few more weight loss tips than this, you may pm me if you like.


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## Mrs.K (Apr 12, 2012)

Eating right and exercise is really the only way to lose weight and keep it off.

I have always had this problem after giving birth. It is hard to get in the mood when you feel like the Michelin Man


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## quietnight112 (Jun 20, 2012)

I am currently going through weight loss program right now. This is what I did first.

Look at yourself and you must make commitment to yourself to lose the weight. How did you get fat, why did you get fat. I've used all the nay-sayers in my life as motivation to lose the weight. My weight loss started with changing my attitude towards my weight.

Get a plan. I've never been fat but since i hit 30 with several knee/ankle injuries, I've put on 40-50lbs. I'm 6'2" but it's still alot. Plan on doing "diet" for rest of your life. So plan to live it rest of your life. I've used tools on my iphone/android that keeps track of calories. There are TONS of tools out there, my favorite being netdiary. free on iphone, but cost on android. You can also use computer.

I did not cut out fat. I did not cut out carbs. I eat what I want. However, when you use those tools, something in your brain will change. You'll start seeing everything as calories. What I did was reduce AMOUNT, i.e. 1 chicken wing once a week lol. Can you do that? I couldn't before, but now I can.

Add exercise as boost. First thing I noticed after my diet was how much energy I had. weird but true, less calories I took, more energy I felt during workout. Before I could hardly do 2Miles in 40min on elliptical. I do 4.5Miles in 50min now. What I do is 20min yoga in the morning, 30min weight lifting evening after work, then 50min elliptical following weight. I plan on increasing that to 60min in couple weeks and aim for 5.5Miles. I do this M, T, W(only weight), Th, S. 

Consistency is key. One failure should not lead to 2nd failure. If you fail 1 day, pick urself up and do it better next day. I've lost about 15lbs in 2 months. That's with 2 weeks of vacation in between. I got 35lbs more to go. Wish you and me good luck.


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## alex2 (Apr 8, 2012)

I know lots of guys that have lost sexual interest in their sexy bride after years of twinkies. Who wants to do a 250# women? Not many.


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## tjohnson (Mar 10, 2010)

As we age it gets harder but, it is possible to stay lean but, is harder for some than others. From what i have lived many couple get fat together as they both tend to eat and drink similarly. Some exceptions but...

As others have stated go old school. Cut calories and late night food/drink. Most of the heavy people i know eat too much and or the wrong foods. It sounds like a hassle but, employ a weightwatchers program which limits food intake or get a food scale for 10 bucks and you can see how small a 1/4 lb burger is or how many calories are in a slice of cheese. The body needs a relatively small number of calories to operate. Most of us simply eat too much. 

I like to drink and have nothing against it but, it has empty (not nutritional) calories and can lower your inhibitions and make you skip your diet (till tomorrow) if you catch a buzz. If you do drink consider low cal beer, bud select is 55 calories (1/2 of a light beer) and isn't bad. If you drink wine or mixed drinks measure to know how bad you are doing. If you are making diet cokes and rum in a water glass it can easily be 400 calories or more if you like them strong. 

Excercise helps but, can lull you into a false sense that you can splurge. If you lift weights it can make you very hungry. If you burn 200 calories at the gym you can easily eat that back with tablespoon of butter and a slice of bread 

Be HONEST with yourself about what goes in your mouth.


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## MooseAndSquirrel (Jun 7, 2012)

"The FDA just approved a drug called Belviq..." 
How about cutting down on spam? Also, a little extra weight never stopped me from having fun with the girl I loved.


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## Henri (Jun 30, 2012)

Hi
Loosing fat means being super strict with food. No excuses, no "just a reward" ideas. 

Exercise increase too, although you don't need to do more than 30 minutes with HIIT, so worth looking into that imho.

I find fat it is affecting me too. Reading the above it sounds logical now.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Spam :/


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Unhappy2011 said:


> I would hate to be fat.


Being overweight is a challenge. I struggle everyday to stay thin. Since my neck injury I'm no longer able to walk far or run. I've delt with weight issues since I was a young child. In my teens(13) I got a job as a waitress and lost all my childhood weight. It's not been easy since. I do believe exercise and eating right is vital in losing weight.

There is no miracle pill or food that can successfully keep the weight off once it's lost. This is a life altering challenge. Right now I'm on my bike reading posts. I must keep my upper half body as still as possible.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I loves me the curvy women.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Unhappy2011 said:


> I watch what I eat and stay active.
> 
> It's odd to me because I hear some large people say they have to hate themselves to lose weight.
> 
> ...


I've never had an overweight friend be happy about their weight. I have one friend who is obese and she complains constantly about her weight, yet she eats quarter pounders with Swiss cheese and sautéed mushrooms with onions rings for lunch several times a week, a large pack of cookies a week and candy bars. They cook only with lard.:/. I've heard every excuse from her not to exercise. Really??? The most outrageous foods I eat is a square or two of Hershey's Chocolate. I keep mine in the freezer, so it lasts a long time.

I try not to let my injury get to me. My goal is to stay as active as possible. I can not walk long distances, so I need a wheelchair when shopping.:/. 

Exercising was an obsession of mine. I ran 6 miles 6-7 days a week. I pushed myself to shin splints before taking a day off of running, especially during the cooler months. I can only bike, but I'll take it. Since biking, I've become more mobile around the house. I can get more housework done without putting myself through unbearable pain.

I'm not overweight, but I am heavier since my injury. I'm trying very hard to lose the few extra pounds. I watch my calories(900-1200) daily, bike and stay as active as possible. I would never use any pills, powders, shakes, fad diets to lose weight. It works, but only temporary. My husband does the grocery shopping and he rarely buys junk snacks. He buys fruit and healthy foods for the kids. If I'm to gain any amount of weight, I take full responsibility and no excuses. I've always had a slower metabolism. 

My husband is very thin. He, too, is obsessed with exercise. I'm sure it helps keep me motivated. I also do it for myself and health reasons.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

Im 5'2 and 105 lbs..I STILL pick on my body..its not that difficult to be insecure and self conscious no matter how much you weigh..I feel best(physically and emotionally) when Im the healthiest which involves excerisize and eatign clean...

Im not a propennet of keeping to much "extra " weight on you and saying thats just me for the simple fact its proven to cut yoru life short(adn lessen quality) on top of the self esteem issues..But wieght isnt the end all and be all..on how we pick on ourselves..

Dallas


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## alex2 (Apr 8, 2012)

My sister's daughter is always looking at fashion magazines. They are called beauty magazines. They should be called ugly magazines. All they do is make girls feel unattractive.


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## MindOverMatter (Jul 1, 2012)

alex2 said:


> My sister's daughter is always looking at fashion magazines. They are called beauty magazines. They should be called ugly magazines. All they do is make girls feel unattractive.


It's unfortunate that young girls' first impressions on "beauty" is formed by the fashion mags. Nothing more unattractive than some of the stick figures they feature.

Oh, and fyi to the OP: If you think the FDA has your best interest in mind, think again.

As other posters have said, put down the sugar, the soda, the processed foods, and the alcohol, and you'll be amazed at how quickly the pounds come off.


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

I can say honestly without a doubt that getting yourself in shape will help with your self esteem, the way other people view you and your home sex life. 

I have always been into physical fitness and thought that I was in good condition, but I have taken it to another level in my 40s. I look and feel better than I ever have in my entire life and I'm not ashamed to admit that it feels great when you catch strangers staring at you on the beach, in the gym, etc. 

My wife - unfortunately not exactly the queen of sex - has been a little better the past few months since I have ripped up even more when I initiate sex. And I am really convinced that there is a correlation. 

You will feel so much better about yourself and that is contagious to the people around you. Diet and exercise are the answers to your problems. Good luck.


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## Knoxvillekelly (Mar 17, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> Why not just quit eating grain products and sugar?


such a guy response. food is more than just food. for many women is their only friend and a source of comfort and joy.

If you men started treating us like the princess we are we would not turn to food. and heck, we might even give you a BJ


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## Knoxvillekelly (Mar 17, 2012)

I have gained 10 pounds in the last 2 months. Arg!!!!


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Hit the light switch...instant makeover.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Knoxvillekelly said:


> such a guy response. food is more than just food. for many women is their only friend and a source of comfort and joy.


Comfort and Joy? It's the opioid compounds in grain that keep you addicted. It's the gluten in grain that tears up your intestines and permits so many autoimmune diseases. It's the wheat germ agglutinin in grain that inflames your joints. It's the fast carbohydrate in grain that bypasses glucose controls of the liver and pancreas and causes obesity and type 2 diabetes. The price for the FDA's 8-12 daily servings of bread and cereal is just too high. Namely, your health. I'll pass on that kind of comfort and joy.



Knoxvillekelly said:


> If you men started treating us like the princess we are we would not turn to food. and heck, we might even give you a BJ


I treat every woman who can leg press 400 pounds like a princess. I only accept the offered BJs from one, though.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Knoxvillekelly said:


> I have gained 10 pounds in the last 2 months. Arg!!!!


Bread and sugar. Might even clear up your arthritis.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I've lost 6 with 10 to go.


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## Adex (Aug 1, 2012)

I like skinny girls. Chunky or bigger girls are a turn off for me. My wife is skinny so I'm glad for that.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Knoxvillekelly said:


> such a guy response. food is more than just food. for many women is their only friend and a source of comfort and joy.


No...not just a "guy response". Wanna know what my gastric bypass surgeon said was the biggest thing to go? GRAINS AND BREADS AND SUGARS! Seriously, I now have to eat high protein foods and vegetables as the MAIN side dish, grains/breads are lesser sides. I had to relearn to eat because I was morbidly obese. I'm still classified as obese, but guess what? I know it is because of MY screw ups, not because some man didn't treat me like a princess.



> If you men started treating us like the princess we are we would not turn to food. and heck, we might even give you a BJ


Again... nope. I give my husband BJs because he gives me oral. Has nothing to do with whether he treats me like a princess or not. Seriously, where is that logic? Sorry your man treats you poorly. Perhaps you should speak to him to resolve the issue instead of making assumptions about all men? 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dr. Rockstar (Mar 23, 2011)

Believe me, I'm struggling with weight loss just as much as anybody else (and more than most). But I've found that helps if I think of my relationship with my body along the same lines as a relationship with someone else.

Passion
When you're in the beginning stages of a relationship, everything is wonderful and nothing could ever break your love for someone else. You hear things like "I am so in love with you," and "I promise I will never leave you." With your relationship with your body you tell yourself "I promise myself to eat healthier and exercise more."

But with this kind of passion, the first little hiccup in the relationship, whether you dislike your partner's best friend or gain a few pounds at your next weigh-in, the results can be devastating. Some people see this as a sign that the relationship cannot work, and they get out of the relationship.

Commitment
This is the hardest phase to work through because it's here where the real struggles come in. Any relationship can become tedious and stagnant if you're not truly committed to the relationship itself as well as your spouse. You have to be committed enough to work through the tough times, like feeling mistreated by your spouse or when you have plateaued in your weight loss.

This is also the most dangerous time, because affairs happen. It's easy to say "just don't do it," but it's a lot more difficult when you're struggling with it yourself. It can start with a "harmless" flirtation, whether it's the person at work with the cubicle next to yours, or an extra slice of cake after supper. But if your not very careful, that flirtation can explode into an emotional or physical affair. Likewise, letting your flirtation with late night snacks or an extra slice of lasagna can make you feel like you just can't do it or loathing yourself for stumbling badly.

Also, like any kind of flirtation or affair, once you've succumbed to it once, it becomes that much easier the next time, no matter how much you promise yourself, your partner or your body.

Love and Respect
Finally there comes a point where you have fully committed to the relationship, your partner or your body. There will always be hurdles to overcome, but once you've hit your goal weight you know that if there are future hurdles you can conquer them because you've done it before.

For me, the two relationships are interrelated. I'm losing weight because my wife wants me to, and because I want to show her how much I'm willing to do to show her how much I love her. The more weight I lose, the more confident I am. The more confident I am, the more I believe that I can reach my goal weight. And the more weight I lose, the more I believe that I'm becoming the kind of person my wife wants me to be.


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## Dr. Rockstar (Mar 23, 2011)

Okay, now that I'm done with that dissertation on love and weight loss, here's my take on the original question.

I'm sure that my unhealthy lifestyle contributed to my lower sex drive. But that's something I am overcoming because it's a goal that I believe in. I focused on improving my sex life because it's something I felt I owed to my wife. And it's working. Right now my drive is probably higher than my wife's. And as part of that goal to increase my sex drive, I'm now focusing on the relationship with my body to improve my sex drive even more.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

Good for you! Mind/body balance is key! 








_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bkyln309 (Feb 1, 2015)

Go Whole Food Plant Based Vegan. You will drop the weight, be healthy and feel your drive come back.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> Comfort and Joy? It's the opioid compounds in grain that keep you addicted. It's the gluten in grain that tears up your intestines and permits so many autoimmune diseases. It's the wheat germ agglutinin in grain that inflames your joints. It's the fast carbohydrate in grain that bypasses glucose controls of the liver and pancreas and causes obesity and type 2 diabetes. The price for the FDA's 8-12 daily servings of bread and cereal is just too high. Namely, your health. I'll pass on that kind of comfort and joy.
> 
> 
> 
> I treat every woman who can leg press 400 pounds like a princess. I only accept the offered BJs from one, though.


Then a heroin addict would only have to eat a slice of wonder bread to cure withdrawls? Or if I was in severe pain, a cupcake would fix me up, or if I took my prescribed hydrocodone and had a cookie and a glass of milk, I would OD??? If you have ciliac disease you can't tolerate glucose, otherwise it is just carbs....

And I am sure you have heard "don’t eat toast with your eggs! If you have a leaky gut, the wheat might give you an egg allergy."....

Has anyone ever eaten toast with eggs? You might die....

Jack Nicholson said it best..."Sell crazy somewhere else, were all full up here".....:surprise:


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