# Married 31 years and tired of the lies



## flaglife (Nov 12, 2010)

My husband and I have been married 31 years. We have 2 grown kids 20 and 24. He has lied to me for 31 years over stupid stuff like he would just go out and buy a new truck twice, bought 3-4 cars without asking me just show up with them. Always bought expensive watches and collectables and lie about. He never has gone behind my back with another woman that I know of. I have to admit I do sometimes nag about his spending because he keeps putting us in further debt every time I turn around. When the kids came along I quit my job because I raised both our kids and was the care giver for both sets of our parents until they all passed away. He ran his business he took over from his dad 25 years ago and did it all by himself for years. After the kids graduated from High School I went and got my real estate license 2 years ago and as we all know that was bad timing. I have since reorganized my husbands busniess and stepped in to help because he was miserable with his job, he absolutely hates it. So I stepped in to take some of the pressure off of him. He loves the new organization but I just feel like there is no more spark in our life. He LOVES to travel overseas which I have done with him but I really don't want to. I want to buy a motorhome and travel the united states instead which he does not want to do. Everyday he lies to me about stupid stuff and I can't figure out why. All through our marriage when we did get into arguments he would say things like "I make the bacon so I can do what I want" or "you don't bring in any money so you can't say anything". As if raising our two kids and being a caregiver was nothing. I am really tired of it. He always tries to buy me off with material things but I am a plain and simple girl and don't care for those expensive things. I would rather him pay off our bills and be somewhat debt free. I could ramble on but I guess this is enough for now. I just don't know what to do or where to go. I married him right out of high school and don't know anything else. So if anyone has suggestion on where to go from here I am listening.


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## manny1 (Nov 9, 2010)

Sounds alot like my soon to be X. The part about you having a dream about traveling and he says no also the money issue and the lies. I also gave to him by helping him get a college degree and then he also refused to even consider my dreams for my future. One thought that I had which you might think about is whether your man is worth giving up your dreams for. What will be your greatest regret not living your life the way you want to or giving up the man. I know you can't trust him because of the lies and I heard once, you can't love what you don't trust. Have you considered going back to school or maybe starting a business of your own something seperate from him. That insight would help you see outside the box and if you can trully see a fullfilling life without him.


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