# Now What



## The End of Heartache (Dec 31, 2011)

So, here it is in a nutshell, we're done. I got some sound advice here before when trying to reconcile, and a good reference for a therapist, but none of it mattered, its done.

I've been separated (not legally) since May and there is no reason to drag it out any longer, it needs to be documented, the sooner the better. She is not in a rush at all, agrees that there is no marriage, but doesn't want to file the papers just yet. 

I am broke as a joke trying to pay another rent on top of what I always did, going further behind on bills, lost an opportunity for a promotion at my current job due to mental stability at the time dealing with all this, AND turned down a really good paying job overseas because there are kids involved BUT NOW opportunity is showing itself again, in the form of owning my own business. 

I want my children to be taken care of, and I want to be able to be seen by my future ex as generous and to do that I am starting my own company which should allow me to live comfortably and they live comfortably. What I don't want is for her to "Win" a piece of this venture out of entitlement, because she isn't entitled, she had multiple affairs, but she is the mother of my children. If I thought there was a way I would fight like hell to get full custody of the kids, but I don't know how to do that, considering I will have to work so much to pull off what I am about to. 

Starting this thing, the iron is hot now, it would be great to strike it off and make it work while there is a lot of momentum. 

Or just hold off, again, until the divorce is final which could take years, to build the thing. 

Multiple problems really. These opportunities are presenting because I work hard, and a lot. I've been a weekend dad for years. Up until 3 years ago I lived on the road during the week. I want my kids. I work too much to be a single dad. When I see them they have my complete attention, but its only every sunday, sometimes sat night and sun. I am great with the kids, but they are used to mom, and besides I would have them at the sitter a lot because of work, it'll be a while before I can slow down and live. Some debt has to be paid.

So, forgive my scattered thoughts, but is it naive of me to think I can start a business to take care of the kids before divorce and end up with all of the business after the divorce?

And is it lame of me to assume that I am better off to work hard and provide for the kids and feed their emotional needs during the weekend? 

So confused, all I know is that its done.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Talk to a lawyer before you start. Maybe you can legally separate to protect your company. But it will depend on the laws where you live.

C


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