# do you look at other people?



## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

When in a relationship, do you look at other people?
Do you turn your head to look at or hit on the opposite sex?
Do you comment him/her with you friends who are at the table with you? 
****

When I was in the relationship I wasn't interested in looking at other guys or interested in being hit by them because the attention of my partner was enough for me.
While one of my girl-friends would always try to grab the attention of all the guys in the room even-though she was/is in a relationship with her long-term boyfriend. She always comments on them and will do anything to draw their attention or even have them come at our table.

Personally, I don't like her behavior as a "taken" girl. 

How about you?


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

I look, I don't ever vocalize it, especially if I'm with my guy, that would be rude and disrespectful. I will, on the other hand, mention an attractive man if I'm with my female friends. I do not flirt with, hit on or draw attention of said person. Looking is one thing, being a turd is another.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Honestly, no.

My husband is the hottest man on this planet! I melt every time I see him. . I absolutely adore my husband and thankfully the feelings are mutual.

I've never seen him turn his head towards another woman. He doesn't look at naked women online which I do find kinda odd since most men do right?

I honesty don't mind he doesn't look or hides it well. It makes me feel better.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Depends. I love to look at Aaron Rodgers, my hubby knows I have a major crush on him, he's even taking me to a Green Bay game in September 

Day to day people we pass in the grocery store and stuff? I notice - I wouldn't say I 'look'. I appreciate. But I do it with both men and women. The odd time I will comment to hubby if I find someone extraordinarily worthy of appreciation.

Do I ogle other men and undress them with my eyes in front of my hubby? No. And he doesn't do it with women in front of me.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

I was at the local party store a few weeks ago. This was after R started, and I had been in an EA a few months before that. The girl behind the counter commented that the delivery guy was hot... I never noticed. I used to notice these things ALL the time. But now, not even the tiniest blip on my radar. So, now... I can say that no, I do not even look/pay attention at all.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Yes but it takes something exceptional to turn my head anymore.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

> *lovelygirl said*: When in a relationship, do you look at other people?
> Do you turn your head to look at or hit on the opposite sex?
> Do you comment him/her with you friends who are at the table with you?



I enjoy socializing very much (when I get off the farm), generally my husband is right there beside me, I would never TRY to attract attention to other men, me & mine always sit together & socialize together... But I am more the social butterfly, while he kicks back & tends to be more of a listener, I often pull him into the conversations though. 

Do I notice other attractive men -sure I do...just cause I am married doesn't mean I am dead. Doesn't mean I would do anything about it either.....even when I was single, I didn't do a darn thing! I had many crushes where the guys NEVER knew. I am pretty shy if I don't know someone...I rarely if ever start such conversations...if we are talking a group of friends , that is different.... anything goes there. We are all chatting it up. 

I can't say my husband has ever been bothered by my behavior in regards to how I handle myself around other men. And we do talk about things like this, we talk about everything. 

At the end of the day , I am blissfully content with just one man....when we vacation, I purposely look for the most secluded cabin imaginable away from every human inhabitant alive ... 

... In regards to LOOKING.... I always have to be the weird one in the bunch ... I know exactly what my husband likes - brunettes on the beach... sure he looks ...doesn't bother me at all, I can't say he would do it blatently...or stop listening to me while grabbing a look, it is more a casual his eyes meet her body as she walks past, no turning around type thing. I have never once felt disrespected. Heck.... I will even point them out to him, I will be looking myself!!

And me...he knows what I like... a Kurt Cobain look or a young Axel Rose... I may turn my head sometimes....... He just :rofl: & tells me I am a dirty old woman, then I'll grab his ass, kiss him, pull him tight & tell him noone could replace him in my life. Better that than me being a Prude. 

If anyone wants to judge that, I guess I am happy I am not married to them..... my husband knows my heart. We both enjoy a little porn too. I spent too many years being a Little house on the Prairie woman, only noticing my kids. I am alot more FUN now. You won't find a couple more devoted -even though we are pretty open in regards to a little harmless looking...again it is nothing blatent to make another feel uncomfortable -or anything either of US find disrespectful. 

I have complimented other men (and women) in front of my husband also -never sexual compliments but "character" compliments ..and I know he would agree with every word.


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

I look. I can't deny that I love to look at a beautiful woman. Hell, I can recognize a great looking guy as well.
I don't leer, stare, or ogle and I don't say to my wife, "Look at that hot chick/dude." She can see for herself if another good looking person is around.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

Not really, I used to turn my head away quickly when my xw was around.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

only when my needs arn't being met! if I'm sexually saitiated then I don't notice a thing!

but if captin willy has been banging my leg all day from lack of use then even the ulgy one stat looking good!


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> I only oogle when I see a *beefy construction worker in a pink thong in Wally World.*
> 
> I can't help myself. I've told my dh of my fetish and he has decided I am hopeless...I mean, helpless, to resist this pull...


They stock everything there these days... mine don't have any of those, tho.:rofl:


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

lovelygirl said:


> When in a relationship, do you look at other people?


No. I mean, I have eyes in my head, so if someone is in front of me and they're attractive I notice. But noticing and looking are different to me. Excluding the answer to the next question though.



lovelygirl said:


> Do you turn your head to look at or hit on the opposite sex?


I had a very human "I'm alive and my heart is beating" moment in front of H that he graciously let me have. We were walking along the path near the beach and there were about 40 men, all shirtless, just wearing shorts working out as part of a training group or something. I glanced over and just couldn't be smooth. I started giggling which only set me off worse and I started laughing at myself, realizing how unsmooth I can be. He looked at me and just kind of laughed and rolled his eyes. "Go on then, have a good look..." I said to him, "C'mon, when does that kind of scene ever happen?" It was ridiculous. But otherwise, no.



lovelygirl said:


> Do you comment him/her with you friends who are at the table with you?


Nope. Friends and I are too busy catching up, we're pretty much oblivious to anything else going on.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

LadyFrog... you are awesome <3 :rofl:


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

heartsbeating said:


> No. I mean, I have eyes in my head, so if someone is in front of me and they're attractive I notice. But noticing and looking are different to me. Excluding the answer to the next question though.
> 
> 
> I had a very human "I'm alive and my heart is beating" moment in front of H that he graciously let me have. We were walking along the path near the beach and there were about 40 men, all shirtless, just wearing shorts working out as part of a training group or something.* I glanced over and just couldn't be smooth. I started giggling which only set me off worse and I started laughing at myself, realizing how unsmooth I can be. He looked at me and just kind of laughed and rolled his eyes.* "Go on then, have a good look..." I said to him, "C'mon, when does that kind of scene ever happen?" It was ridiculous. But otherwise, no.
> ...


I pictured this whole scene and the conversation in my head... and I started giggling, too.... then I scrolled up and saw the pi that the Frog Lady posted... and I lost it


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> I only oogle when I see a beefy construction worker in a pink thong in Wally World.


i only oogle when i walk past a mirror


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

Do I notice other men??? Sure, I'm not dead and I love sex. I'm a people watcher. Men or women. Do I openly stare and undress men, in front of husband??? No. 

Flirt?? I'm a Leo. I flirt with men esp gay men, don't know why. I compliment men or women, who dosent like to be nice to a tired cashier. 

Do I accept phone numbers?? No. Do I give mine out??? No. 

Husband flirts too. He's also a leo. Dosent bother me. 

SA couldnt have said it better. If my husband notices me flirting he will squeeze my ass or pull me close to him and he will whisper something funny in my ear. 

Or I'll be the one who smacks his ass. Do I go out of my way to chat it up or flirt?? No. I'm a talkative person, so if you are near me...I will bend your ear. 

I talk equally to men and women. If your shoes are cute, ima tell you, if your tie looks nice on you, I'ma tell you so.


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## Good Dog (Mar 28, 2012)

My wife used to give me lots of flak if I looked at any woman at all, though I never ogled. She was obsessed about me potentially cheating, but I came to find that it had more to do with her attitude than mine. After her EA and then months of emotional abuse toward me regarding other men and their looks and masculinity, I went through a long stretch of not only worrying about her looking around but I even avoided looking at others. I think I was upset about her giving me years of grief about something that she did to an extreme, but also I just wanted to avoid all that for a while. 

Now I look around at others like normal and she does too I'm sure, though I remain easily riled up if she makes comments about them. Over a year on but still it's just too much how she behaved before if she says anything. But for most people looking is fine and comments are too if they're reasonable and okay with the spouse.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

*Dean* said:


> There is a big difference between just looking for a second or two when a
> good looking man or woman walks by vs someone your with
> who is constantly checking out other people. Not very engaged on you.
> 
> ...


Two words: I Don't. My husband doesn't look around at other women. And, even when we were having problems, I NEVER looked like that when he was around. Now, no one catches my eye, aside from him.


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## Needpeace (May 24, 2012)

Nope, never have, it's a blooming wonder though, having marital problems should have probably encouraged me somewhat to look elsewhere, maybe I just lost all interest.

I think it's ok to look, but not to blatantly flirt & crave the attention of other men when in a relationship.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

I can honestly say I don't look. First of all, while I'm out, I'm with the sexiest man on Earth, (in my eyes), and I can look at him all day long if I wanted to.

That doesn't mean I don't find other people attractive. Actually, I can find something attractive about and nice to say about anyone... But the only person I'm really investing my energy in is my husband.

Show me a model with ripped abs? Sure, he's got a conventionally "nice" body. But I'm not going to fall all over myself staring because I honestly don't have the urge to.

I love my husband. He's not perfect. He's my ideal, tho. He's who I want to look at and think about. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bubbly girl (Oct 11, 2011)

*Dean* said:


> There is a big difference between just looking for a second or two when a
> good looking man or woman walks by vs someone your with
> who is constantly checking out other people. Not very engaged on you.
> 
> ...


My husband used to stare, ogle, and do the head turning thing. P!ssed me off, and we used to fight because of it. He's much better now. If he happens to do it again, he'll get a punch in the arm to snap out of it.


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

I hate Rubber Necking. It's annoying.


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## livnlearn (Mar 5, 2012)

*Dean* said:


> Ladies why is it that you put up with that?


never understood that myself. My husband never stares. To the contrary, when there is a really good looking woman coming our way my husband will look totally the other way..or look intently at me and talk, lol. 

as for me...sure I NOTICE good looking guys. Never give a second look or thought though.


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

I also agree there is a big difference in glancing and full on hard staring. My other best friend (other than husband) will practically get whiplash looking at every single chick who walks by. 

I told him to knock it off or I would embarrass his ass. He said why we ain't together. I said, it makes us both look like idiots. Some slag is getting a rise from making "my man" rubber neck at her, or else she thinks you are a dog, and won't give you the time of day. 

He is very protective of me, and will not tolerate guys talking to me..as in the guy behind the counter taking my coffee order. If he thinks a guy is watching he will put his arm around me or block his view. 

But he's in need of a neck brace from looking at all the scattered ass.


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## Jimena (May 28, 2012)

Both my husband and I will comment to each other on the people we see, hot or not. Usually its about women, because some females really put it all out there-good and bad. Yes its totally shallow, but at least we're honest with each other.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

I've noticed attractive men and I think it's human to notice others. I'm married not visually impaired. However, I don't do double takes or stare or look on with an open mouth. Doing that is disrespectful to my husband. I expect my husband to notice other women. He has two good eyes after all. However, I expect him to not whip his neck around for a closer look. He can take a look when the person is in his field of vision but doing anything more than a brief glance is not respectful to me. If he notices other women he sure knows how to not be obvious about it. Most of the time I've been the one to say "wow that woman in the blue dress is very pretty. ". Then he'll spare a glance at her and say either I look much better or he
doesn't think she's all that. I'm sure he's saying that partly because he's a good guy but I like to think a big part of him is being honest as well.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

ScaredandUnsure said:


> I hate Rubber Necking. It's annoying.



I just chuckle and shake my head. Then tell my husband. He laughs and beams..sometimes I get new shoes...sometimes he gets all alpha at home and gets a bj.


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## Love Song (Jan 16, 2012)

To answer your question yes I look. I check out men and women and go back to whatever I was doing prior. It isn't a big event. 


Yes your friend is out of line. She sounds like she has self esteem issues.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Coffee Amore said:


> I've noticed attractive men and I think it's human to notice others. I'm married not visually impaired. However, I don't do double takes or stare or look on with an open mouth. Doing that is disrespectful to my husband. I expect my husband to notice other women. He has two good eyes after all. However, I expect him to not whip his neck around for a closer look. He can take a look when the person is in his field of vision but doing anything more than a brief glance is not respectful to me. If he notices other women he sure knows how to not be obvious about it. Most of the time I've been the one to say "wow that woman in the blue dress is very pretty. ". Then he'll spare a glance at her and say either I look much better or he
> doesn't think she's all that. I'm sure he's saying that partly because he's a good guy but I like to think a big part of him is being honest as well.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I get similar responses from my husband as well. Most of the time it's "what woman?" And when I point her out...his reply is "meh, whatever"


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

I look. I'm a guy. My mind is wired to appreciate feminine beauty. Sometimes I miss a beautiful woman walk by and my wife will point her out to me. She is not so much into looking at other men so I have become adept at finding her "type". I'll point those guys out to her and she'll just smile and give me that "I dunno, maybe" shrug of her shoulders. That's as close as she comes to ogling. We are devoted to each other so its all in fun.


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

*Dean* said:


> Ladies why is it that you put up with that?


Simply because the woman he's in a relationship with doesn't even know that her partner looks at other women.

I have a guy friend who in front of his girlfriend acts like he's the most dedicated/faithful guy on Earth.
But I know him better than his long-term gf of 3 years does. 
When she's not around he always checks up on other girls, stares and flirts with them. 
I feel sorry for his girl. She's got more learning to do about him.


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## bubbly girl (Oct 11, 2011)

lovelygirl said:


> Simply because the woman he's in a relationship with doesn't even know that her partner looks at other women.
> 
> I have a guy friend who in front of his girlfriend acts like he's the most dedicated/faithful guy on Earth.
> But I know him better than his long-term gf of 3 years does.
> ...


I wouldn't be ok with the flirting, but I know guys look. If I'm not around, I don't care if my husband looks at other women. I just find it very disrespectful and embarrassing to do it right in front of me, like I'm not good enough.


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## Kurosity (Dec 22, 2011)

Oh I look at men and woman. Some times I point them out to friends and or hubby. I think that it is ok to check someone out but flirting is not ok. That stuff leads down the "green mile" for relationships.

I agree with who ever posted that your friends need to be noticed like that means she is either insecure or feeds of the attention. I am betting it is the attention because that is something one can get addicted too.


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

Kurosity said:


> I think that it is ok to check someone out but flirting is not ok. That stuff leads down the "green mile" for relationships.
> .


Then where is the limit between "just looking at other people" and "flirting"? Because flirting is also about looking at someone else and not only talking to them. You can look at him in a sensual/sexual way and to me this is flirting. Or you can smile at them and sometimes this is considered flirting (in my book).
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

lovelygirl said:


> Then where is the limit between "just looking at other people" and "flirting"? Because flirting is also about looking at someone else and not only talking to them. You can look at him in a sensual/sexual way and to me this is flirting. Or you can smile at them and sometimes this is considered flirting (in my book).
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


There is a difference between me glancing at an attractive little brunette laying by the pool and me giving her "the eye".

One is a passing thought that she`s cute, the other is an intent to attract her for more than just a passing thought.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

I think it's completely normal for people to glance at other people, but ogling or flirting with members of the opposite sex whilst in a relationship isn't appropriate, and doing it whilst in the company of a partner is downright disrespectful and rude.


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

flirting:

whats the level or line in the sand on what entails flirting...such as..

if i tell a guy your tie really brings out your eyes...

is that flirting..??---or

if i tell a woman...oh, girl, i like those shoes...they are f-me shoes..

is that flirting..??

i think sometimes i give guys the "nice pants" look...because they are nice pants...or if i see a guy and he is rockin the hell outta his suit, i will look him up and down, then half smile..

i tell women all the time, i like your dress....and i will actually have to look at them, and i do..head to toe...and i will say something pacifially about their dress/shirt/skirt/shoes...

is any of this flirting?? i though i was always being nice. is it undressing someone with my eyes?? 

if this isnt flirting...that what exactly is flirting..??


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Well.. I have to admit... I have looked at people on this thread... and I suppose hit on a few... such as pidge... ladyfrog... simply.... ect ect... I have told em all their gorgeous and whatnot...


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

Pandakiss said:


> flirting:
> 
> whats the level or line in the sand on what entails flirting...such as..
> 
> ...


My HR department would call this flirting. So would I. It sounds more like playful flirting to me which I have no problem with. I have called a female friend at church the "hottest" grandma at church. She's pretty, what can I say. Same thing, it's playful flirting and I certainly wouldn't pursue her. Same goes for my wife, she's welcome to engage in playful flirting because I know she has excellent boundaries. Same for me. For us it's all about the boundaries. As long as we both have 'em, we're going to enjoy our playful flirting.


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## SoWhat (Jan 7, 2012)

I don't look at other women around my GF.
I do look when I'm not. 

If I didn't find other women attractive, I wouldn't find her attractive. Looking is not cheating


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

sandc said:


> My HR department would call this flirting. So would I. It sounds more like playful flirting to me which I have no problem with. I have called a female friend at church the "hottest" grandma at church. She's pretty, what can I say. Same thing, it's playful flirting and I certainly wouldn't pursue her. Same goes for my wife, she's welcome to engage in playful flirting because I know she has excellent boundaries. Same for me. For us it's all about the boundaries. As long as we both have 'em, we're going to enjoy our playful flirting.



Thanks for the relply. My husband and I have always did this "playful" flirting. I never saw anything wrong with it. 

I will say we are an odd bunch, I do this in front of him, and he does it in front of me. I know what's up, and I walk off a little. 

Does not bother me. I just smile at him, give him the "I know what you were doing", look and put my arm around him and squeeze his ass. 

Usually I turn and wave to the person and say have a nice day. Sometimes I joke are you done...did you set those dinner plans up??, don't forget my food. No doggie bag. The whole meal, bread salad, all of it. 

He tells me to quit actin up. Pinches my ass and laughs. 

Again...we're an odd bunch.


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

As far as paying compliments to my girl-friends or guy-friends I don't consider it flirting.
I have no problem complimenting a guy-friend about his hair/clothes if I think they are looking good. The same goes with my girls. 
I don't think there's anything wrong with that.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

Pandakiss said:


> Thanks for the relply. My husband and I have always did this "playful" flirting. I never saw anything wrong with it.
> 
> I will say we are an odd bunch, I do this in front of him, and he does it in front of me. I know what's up, and I walk off a little.
> 
> ...


Doesn't sound odd at all. Sounds playful and fun. 

You know in thinking about this I think it's more fun to look at other women when my wife is around. When I'm alone I'll pass a beautiful woman on the street, I mean a real looker, stacked and all, and I'll give her a glance and nothing more. It's just not as fun to leer unless my wife is around. 

Same with her, even if she finds a man attractive she won't look much. She DOES enjoy men looking at her. So do I. She'll come home from the grocery store all smiles because the guys kept checking her out or one helped her put the water in the grocery cart. It makes her feel pretty and I love it because it reminds me that other men find her attractive too. Makes me compete against my imaginary adversary. Everybody wins! :smthumbup:

Oh, and I've only seen SA's picture so far, and she's a hottie too!


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

i think thats the way it is with us. not mean or cruel...just a little fun, that we both agree with.

and yes SA is beautiful..


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

Hope1964 said:


> Depends. I love to look at Aaron Rodgers, my hubby knows I have a major crush on him, he's even taking me to a Green Bay game in September
> 
> Day to day people we pass in the grocery store and stuff? I notice - I wouldn't say I 'look'. I appreciate. But I do it with both men and women. The odd time I will comment to hubby if I find someone extraordinarily worthy of appreciation.
> 
> Do I ogle other men and undress them with my eyes in front of my hubby? No. And he doesn't do it with women in front of me.


Ummmm Eagles for life.


That is all.


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## seesah (Apr 26, 2012)

lovelygirl said:


> When in a relationship, do you look at other people?
> Do you turn your head to look at or hit on the opposite sex?
> Do you comment him/her with you friends who are at the table with you?


I'm human so I look but I don't hit on or flirt with anyone. I've definitely made comments when out with my girlfriends. I'm sure my husband has caught me looking but has never said anything.

My husband does the same thing and he makes comments to me (more like appreciative sounds really) but I know he does it to get my goat. He's so good at figuring out what annoys me.


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