# Texan Here



## Vigi

I am new. I need to talk bc I am alone. Married but alone. Sitting less than 10 feet from me but might as well be 1000 feet.


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## anchorwatch

Not felling it this evening? 

Let's start with some bio and more information on your marriage and situation. 

How about your best guess about what is your partner thinking across form you?


Best


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## MattMatt

We are here for you.


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## arbitrator

Vigi said:


> I am new. I need to talk bc I am alone. Married but alone. Sitting less than 10 feet from me but might as well be 1000 feet.


*Welcome to TAM!

What seems to be the problem? Please feel free to elaborate!*


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## Mr.Married

God Bless The Great Republic of Texas !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pull a chair up to the campfire, kick your boots up, and give us your story.


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## Vigi

Hey everybody. Glad you responded. Tyvm. I'm hoping to make great contacts and good conversations. Hopefully to learn some too...


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## Vigi

I'm married 30+ yrs. Husband not the romantic type, let's say. After some years of (both having) health problems, he won't give me affection (but nothing new there), won't have sex, and refuses to sleep in the bed (2 years on both accts). I'm lonely. Depressed. And needed to talk. He's not into that either. Can't leave. But, man I'm becoming bitter and I don't want to be, I just want to be happy!


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## Livvie

Why do you say you can't leave?



Vigi said:


> I'm married 30+ yrs. Husband not the romantic type, let's say. After some years of (both having) health problems, he won't give me affection (but nothing new there), won't have sex, and refuses to sleep in the bed (2 years on both accts). I'm lonely. Depressed. And needed to talk. He's not into that either. Can't leave. But, man I'm becoming bitter and I don't want to be, I just want to be happy!


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## Vigi

He's on disability. I'm disabled. I have no income. I want to go. For awhile now. But, he controls every single penny, vigilantly. Children grown but no options there. I do care about him but I don't want to end up hating him and it's already getting bitter between us. He knows I'm not happy. Therapy is not on the table for him. He refuses. Medical drs for sexual issues are refused. He won't discuss the elephant in the room and when I do, he clams up! So, I watch tv alone, eat alone, sleep alone. Been this way for over 2 years.


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## Vigi

He's narcissistic. Every thing comes back to my fault. I cant win. No conversations are easy. Every thing is about him. His pain, his feelings, his money, his way or nothing. It's rough. He's broken my trust, my heart and my soul into pieces. And what's worse is he knows I'm stuck with no way out so he treats me however he wants. I've got no friends. Especially no family. And I only wish this was blown out of proportion!


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## Mr.Married

Yikes ......terrible 
I saw in your other thread your a “ blind god trust” type. You have to be careful with that.

Do you have any friends or social network?

How old are you?


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## Vigi

Old. Almost 60. And I believe in GOD. And no one can convince me otherwise. The problem is mankind, not GOD. No, I trust very few people...that has never changed. So, I have family but limited help there. Absolutely no one to talk to. No one can help. And I'm stuck. And depression has caught up with me. My faith is all I have to get me through each day.


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## Mr.Married

Have you actually talked to your family about what you are going through? Or are you making the assumption help will not be available with them? I’m a proud person...... I have extreme difficulty asking people for help. Are you the same ?


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## Vigi

My son moved us close to him. Put us in RV and it's about to be repossessed bc it's falling apart. Son purchased another one for cash but found many issues. We can't move into it yet. 
I am in recovery from surgery #8 and I cleaned a house this week to try get money to help my son for repairs. 
But, hubby refused to help me. I just started a GOFUNDME and he refuses to help with that. 
Have no one else to turn to. We're about to be living in our car and he could care less. I'm so over him but I have no income. I'm stuck!


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## JustTheWife

You're not alone. We're here and many people have related problems.

God is also big in my life. As a Christian, I try to be understanding and forgiving even if sometimes I fail. Traditionally men feel a deep responsibility to "take care of things". Even if it appears that he's given up and doesn't want to "take care of things", he might still be feeling that sense of responsibility. What I'm trying to say is that maybe he is SCARED. SCARED TO DEATH about what's happening.

I volunteer to help people like you and I see a lot of people with money problems and I observe that when they are both scared it's impossible to get along. And men can be particularly difficult when they are scared. They can react in all kinds of bad ways. I don't want to pick on men because women often don't react well either but men often feel a deeper sense of failure from an inability to take care of their families when this stuff happens. I wish you the best.


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