# Hurt and about to give up hope...



## ggirl99 (Mar 21, 2009)

My husband and I have been married a little under three years. About a month ago I found several text messages on his cell phone from an old girlfriend. In the messages he talked about divorcing me and how he was tired of living a lie. I later found out from old cell phone bills that he had been texting this woman for about 8 months along with another woman. When I confronted him about it he told me that it meant nothing and that it was only conversation. He said he was just venting b/c he didn't feel like I appriciated him. After that talk we decided to work on our problems together. I asked him were there any other women that he talked to that I should know about before we go any further and he assured me that that was it. Well yesterday after checking his phone I found old messages (dated before I found the other messages) from another woman talking about how they dreamed about having sex together. When I confronted him he told me he worked with this woman and it meant nothing to him. The messages were old but I feel like he lied to me when I asked him were there any other women. I'm not sure what to do...I feel like he isn't being completely honest with me and there are others. I feel like I should just leave....am i over-reacting? Please help....any advice would be great.


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## Sensitive (Mar 29, 2009)

I am so sorry, it does sound like your husband has urges to cheat. He may be in denial and think that if he doesn't actually meet and have physical sex, then he is still faithful. I have met many men online with the same rationale, and I believe it is unhealthy for any marriage.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

I dont think you are overreacting. He's really violated your trust in him. Just take it one day at a time. its going to take you awhile to work through your emotions. My H lied to me a lot in the beginning of our relationship and its taken me a few years to get over it. its really confusing. 

there's no way to make him be honest with you. You need to emotionally distance yourself from him. make sure you protect yourself. no one else will. if you start feeling really depressed, remember you're the only one that can fix it. he's not going to fix your pain. you have to lift yourself up. so make sure you guard your heart. find support, keep busy, and exercise. its ok not to trust him for a long time. its ok that you continually feel the need to check on him. and its ok for you to require him to prove himself to you over, and over, and over again. Its about what makes you feel good. If he's not willing to commit to earning your trust by doing the things that will help you trust him again, then you'll have to decide if you want to live the rest of your life with someone you cant trust.


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