# Signing divorce decree tomorrow-- wife want to go out for drinks after



## Mo24 (Feb 18, 2014)

So, I am posting this in two forums just to see what people think. 

Have an appt tomorrow for signing divorce decree. 

Married 7.5 years, D6, S2, ILYBINILWY speech from her to me at end of Oct. Ive pretty much moved on but noticing more and more that I have moved on. I would not say it is complete, but I have been dating another woman since a little before xmas. 

So got this message from stbxw today--

"I was thinking, do you want to go out for drinks Wed after we sign? just us? maybe your sister could pick up and watch the kids for a couple hours? "

Well, I am not going out for drinks with her, though we are getting along pretty well in the co-parenting thing. 

But am very curious re why she would ask me out after we sign our divorce decree. She did not like to do anything 'just us' when we were married, at least the last 3-4 years.


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## oviid (Sep 27, 2013)

That seems odd to me. I'd say "HELL NO!" Well perhaps not that harsh but I'd decline the invitation. I might even say, "I'm actually already going out for drinks after with someone."


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## Malpheous (May 3, 2013)

> STBXW - I already have other plans.


That's it. That simple. Nothing more. Nothing less. Meet to sign. Get the task complete. Leave and don't turn back. If it's not about the children then it's not a conversation or situation to place yourself in.


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## Pictureless (May 21, 2013)

*Re: Signing final decree tomorrow-- wife asks if i want to have drinks after*

Tell her you've made plans to have celebration sex with your new girlfriend.


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## Betrayedone (Jan 1, 2014)

see above post


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## spun (Jul 2, 2012)

Would you go out for a drink with a boss who just fired you?

Politely decline the invitation.

And, if she does not like that?

"I'm sorry you feel that way".


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

*Re: Signing final decree tomorrow-- wife asks if i want to have drinks after*



Mo24 said:


> But am very curious re why she would ask me out after we sign our divorce decree. She did not like to do anything 'just us' when we were married, at least the last 3-4 years.


Buyer's Remorse perhaps. Pleasantly decline and let her know all communications will have to do with the divorce and/or the kids from here on out. You are her x-husband, not her friend. She needs to keep that in mind.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

*Re: Signing final decree tomorrow-- wife asks if i want to have drinks after*



Mo24 said:


> "I was thinking, do you want to go out for drinks Wed after we sign? just us? maybe your sister could pick up and watch the kids for a couple hours? "
> 
> Well, I am not going out for drinks with her, though we are getting along pretty well in the co-parenting thing.
> 
> But am very curious re why she would ask me out after we sign our divorce decree. She did not like to do anything 'just us' when we were married, at least the last 3-4 years.


Because divorce makes people nuts! Some folks do want to go out with their ex after signing the D papers but I wasn't one of them. Haha. Since you don't seem to be one of them either, just tell her you would rather not. 

My exH actually invited me to go on vacation the week of our divorce. Yeah. I have no clue either.


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## Pictureless (May 21, 2013)

*Re: Signing final decree tomorrow-- wife asks if i want to have drinks after*



> My exH actually invited me to go on vacation the week of our divorce. Yeah. I have no clue either.


You should have went if it was some place nice. The look on his face when you declined to join him in bed would have been worth it.


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

Respond with I would rather have drinks with the Taliban, but thanks for asking.

Have a nice day.


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## sh987 (Oct 10, 2013)

*Re: Signing final decree tomorrow-- wife asks if i want to have drinks after*



Jellybeans said:


> My exH actually invited me to go on vacation the week of our divorce. Yeah. I have no clue either.


Huh?










That'd be the day...


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## wilderness (Jan 9, 2013)

My response would be "f off"


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

sh987 said:


> Huh?


Yeah and not on like some day trip either. He wanted us to go overseas, to the islands to an amazing resort. 

I declined. 

My response was like, "So...you want to go on vacation overseas and then come back, get off the plane and head to divorce court?"

:scratchhead:

The mind. It boggles.

Mo, do you have any plans that day? Going out with friends/staying solo?


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

Mo24 said:


> But am very curious re why she would ask me out after we sign our divorce decree. She did not like to do anything 'just us' when we were married, at least the last 3-4 years.


My guess (as a woman) is that she wants to 'play nice' and convince herself that everything is GREAT between you two. I don't think it signals 'buyer's remorse" per se, but more of a "see, I'm not a b1tch for wanting a divorce...look how civil we can be." She wants to assuage any guilt she feels about dumping you w/o explanation.

I would suggest you reply, "No thanks on the drinks. I already have plans for a celebration tomorrow."


BTW: My first ex-h and I went out to lunch after our divorce. It was extremely civil and we both realized the marriage was a big mistake. Since we were both in agreement and didn't hate each others' guts, it was a pleasant luncheon. I realize this situation is EXTREMELY rare.

Good luck on your divorce and go out to celebrate with your gf. 

BTW: Agree that from now on NOTHING is discussed/dealt with unless it deals DIRECTLY with one of the kids!


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## Mo24 (Feb 18, 2014)

Jellybeans said:


> Yeah and not on like some day trip either. He wanted us to go overseas, to the islands to an amazing resort.
> 
> I declined.
> 
> ...


It is my day to have the kids so I was just going to pick them up from daycare and school and go hang out w/ them. dinner/bath/play/bed basically. 

I told her (emailed) we can talk after but I am not going out for drinks or dinner (dinner was suggested in the next email b/c it would 'be nice').


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

Wow! Did I call it on the "nice" thing, or what!


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

If it's hemlock.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

I certainly wouldn't go. I don't understand people's attitude with divorce sometimes. People try to smooth it over as if it's no big deal, but it's a life changer, especially when someone leaves because they are "just not happy." If someone burned your house down you wouldn't have drinks with them, nor would i when someone divorced me.


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## Mo24 (Feb 18, 2014)

2ntnuf said:


> There's a whole lot more lying underneath that one sentence. Part of it is that her AP or steady or whoever, wants to know she is done with you. The other is, she wants to be able to assure that partner of her's that you won't be any trouble. Another is, read my last post. Good luck, man. Take your VAR. Take your list of questions. Don't take the kids. Meet her alone, in a pubic place. I guess her boyfriend wants the respect you didn't get, i.e.: no cheating,everything out in the open, etc. Sorry, man. Maybe it's me, but my gut is telling me all of this.


This is interesting, but likely way off base. She doesnt even have a lawyer. She is more worried about my "partner" being more likeable to our kids than she is as she (stbxw) has friends who know her or know who she is and she (the woman i am dating) is well liked. 

I dont have a list of questions. Not sure what this is referring to. Why would I have a list of questions to ask now? 

And why would I bring the kids? 

A little confused by this. 

In any case, I told her we could talk after, at the lawyer's office, but that I am not going 'out' w/ her.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Apparently, I was confused. Sorry about that.


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## Alpha (Feb 18, 2013)

Take her out, buy wine, get her tipsy and happy, then bang her like she hasn't been banged before. You just want her to get all confused


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## SpunkySpunky (Dec 17, 2012)

No.


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

My stbxw had a full blown PA, knowing full well it would end in divorce. Now she regrets it, wants her old life back, and if she can't have that, still wants us to be friends, always wants hugs when I see her, still texts me stuff that isn't just about kids/money and still wants to engage/have a connection.

Buyer's (or more accurately "seller's") remorse. She threw you away and now she wishes she didn't. She probably realizes she misses you and that the other options out there simply suck a big fat donkey ****. 

Too bad, so sad. Tell her no thanks, and have a nice day. Your ship has sailed.


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