# For those who confessed



## happless (Jul 17, 2008)

Does it get easier? My wife has been wonderful all things considered but I still feel guilty and sad. It's only been a week since I confessed. I am beating myself up much more than my wife. I wonder if the sadness will go away.


----------



## Mrs. Negestie (Jul 15, 2008)

Maybe if you could give more info and talk more about it in your post people who are facing the same issue might be able to relate to your problem dont worry about how long just get all the details in.


----------



## amber (Jul 14, 2008)

Speaking from the other end...being the wife that was cheated on...I think it's important for you to be thinking of her feelings right now. It's good that you are sorry and upset about what you have done, and that's a really great sign. But I think that being as supportive and comforting and loving as possible will help her deal with the situation. When she is at a place where she is starting to feel a little better, then I think that will come for you too.


----------



## happless (Jul 17, 2008)

Thanks for the advice. Do any of you suggest the offender confront the other woman (TOW)? I have debated whether to let sleeping dogs lie or to let them know that my spouse and I are together and working through things. That what happened was wrong, etc. I wouldn't consider it if TOW wasn't still trying to make contact with me. My spouse supports me doing this if it is helpful to me in putting this in the past. TOW is convinced that I should be with them......mistakenly I must say. They took my cutting contact very hard and I think are emotionally unstable.


----------



## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

Having been on your wife's end, I think if she is supportive of this idea then confront TOW. I'm sure your wife would like her to stop trying to contact you as well. I think it would be better to do by mail/email so you can say what you need to w/o her trying to talk you out of it, etc. or asking for one last hug, etc. If it needs to be in person, be aware of her emotional state and what you may be up against so you don't react to her out of guilt, etc. Your wife should be in the loop on whatever happens here so if you confront her act as though your wife is standing there too and the right words will come.

Hearing it was wrong might not mean much to her because she isn't there. Hearing you love your wife and made a big mistake by taking issues outside of your marriage rather than working within the marriage to make it stronger might make her realize you are over her and committed to repairing your marriage. It might give her the closure she needs to back off.


----------



## Triton (Jul 8, 2008)

:iagree:


----------



## happless (Jul 17, 2008)

mommy22.....THANK YOU. That is wonderful advice especially since you pretty much hit on everything that I have been feeling and have been through.

On the same token, do you recommend writing a letter or just ignoring? I asked for no contact nearly a year ago but still get periodic emails that whether meant to or not just serve to make me feel more guilty.


----------

