# What is next, looks like H had a explosion in his underwear



## Jaded Heart (Jan 5, 2011)

I was just sorting though H underwear and there was a pair that had a lot of white stuff. I don't know if it was cause he was excited about something or maybe someone was playing with him when he had his jeans on. 


Pissed right off, I can't take no more !


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## Jaded Heart (Jan 5, 2011)

Or maybe he is having phone sex with someone. How in the world do I even bring this up without him thinking I'm checking his damm underware now. I just don't know what to think and I don't think he would tell me the truth anyways. My H has never lied to me untill all this EA happened. 


OH G, I want to explode. I really want to kick his ass out the door but scared of wrecking that chance of us being together again. Why in the world does he need to do things like this when he has a wife that loves him and would make love to him 10 times a day ! 

Heart Broken Again, wonder how much more my heart can break before is finally dies !


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## Powerbane (Nov 8, 2010)

What is to stop you from ambushing him sexually in the middle of the night?

Does know explicitly that you want him?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jaded Heart (Jan 5, 2011)

He sleeps on the couch and he would freak if I touched him now. Just before all this came out I woke him up in the middle of the night giving him a BJ and he was happy but rollled over and went to bed


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

He didn't kick you out.


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## Jaded Heart (Jan 5, 2011)

Why would he kick me out? This is my home I was not the one screwing around with his brothers wife


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Jaded Heart said:


> Why would he kick me out? This is my home I was not the one screwing around with his brothers wife


You've done your share.


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## Jaded Heart (Jan 5, 2011)

hmm yeah over 5 years ago. Doesn't make what he did right. Remember he came back to me 5 years ago .


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Conrad said:


> You've done your share.


Who are you to criticize her? Has she hurt you, are you related to her husband that you think you have a right to get in her face when she needs support? What ever problem you have take it someplace else and leave JD alone. If you miserable do something about it don't take it out on on others. 

If you're going to pick on someone, at lest do it to someone who is in a space to judge you and point out you obvious faults. Bully and cowardice is unattractive I am certain that is apparent in your life and may actually be at the core of your failings. Go and fix your stuff and stay off of this thread. Spend you time working on your problem you need all of your energy to work on your problems it may cut down the time it takes you to get right from 10 years to five.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TeaLeaves4 (Feb 19, 2010)

Wow, just ignore those comments JH. Doesn't surprise me though. 
On another note, I don't think you should be putting up with this anymore. I'd be finished yesterday.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Conrad said:


> You've done your share.


Are you the OW or the cheating husband who had the explosion on the underwear?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jaded Heart (Jan 5, 2011)

Thanks Ladies, Conrad has been saying pretty rude things to all my threads. I don't take it to heart I just kinds ignore him! 

I just wanted to see what other people thought about this issue. I know it could be just him masturbating. But where the marks where I don't know they were down low and all! 

I don't even know if I want to ask him cause then it will think I'm checking out his underwear now ! Or say I'm a freak, I don't have any idea at all!


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

You guys are right.

I had a rough night personally last night and I let the disappointment bleed through into the forum.

Not a good thing.

I apologize.

I won't interfere again.


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## Jaded Heart (Jan 5, 2011)

Well I asked him , and he said that is so embarrassing. I said why everyone masturbates. I told him I'm your wife don't be embarrassed. Nothing to worry about


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## Neil (Jan 5, 2011)

Jaded Heart said:


> Well I asked him , and he said that is so embarrassing. I said why everyone masturbates. I told him I'm your wife don't be embarrassed. Nothing to worry about



I was meant to reply earlier, but you obvioulsy found out.

Their would have been the possibility of "Wet Dreams", I know its happened to me  and felt embarrassed and tried to hide the offending item in the middle of other clothes... (like a teenage boy tends to use socks ha ha)

Of course, you could have said additionally, next time you feel like you want to "knock one out", let me give you a helping hand, give a "little squeeze" and walk away (sought of a teese). Turn it into a little bit of fun.

Then you can see if he will come and ask you.

But that's from my perspective, but at least you have another man view


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## Jaded Heart (Jan 5, 2011)

MsLonely said:


> Are you the OW or the cheating husband who had the explosion on the underwear?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Im the wife of the cheating H with my SIL


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## 4sure (Aug 8, 2010)

What the two of you are doing to stay together is not working. Might want to seek another avenue.
Are you sure it is over with SIL? You and he won't move ahead unless ahe is totally out of the picture, and he is willing to work with you on the marriage.


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## Jaded Heart (Jan 5, 2011)

Technically we are not together we just stay in the same home. I don`t know if he still talks to her, but I have a feeling that he does. Only cause of what happened on the weekend where she was asking my son a ton of questions and then my son said she started to text him right away ! 

This is the same day he said that he masturbated when fishing. Makes me wonder if they had phone sex or something.


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## credamdóchasgra (Sep 24, 2010)

JH, it is painful to read this cycle continuing. You must really be aching, and I feel for you.

You really are doing everything you can in the PRESENT, and unfortunately your H is still punishing you for the PAST. 

Please don't allow his manipulative way of blaming you for EVERYTHING convince you that it really is ALL your fault.

Yes, you made mistakes 5 years ago. But you're not "causing" his EA with his SIL...HE is making that choice. And he can make the choice to let that go, and let go of your past.

It is taking so much from you...at what point will you decide that enough is enough? I'm sure you're thinking about this...you still have a lot of love to give and there has to be a limit to how much you'll give to this man, before you decide to give more to yourself, and be more ready for another partner in your future.



Catherine602 said:


> If you're going to pick on someone, at lest do it to someone who is in a space to judge you and point out you obvious faults. Bully and cowardice is unattractive I am certain that is apparent in your life and may actually be at the core of your failings. Go and fix your stuff and stay off of this thread. Spend you time working on your problem you need all of your energy to work on your problems it may cut down the time it takes you to get right from 10 years to five.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Catherine, I understand your impulse to defend JH...but it seems like in these comments, you just stoop to the level of taking cheap shots, making assumptions, and hitting below the belt. I don't think all that is necessary. I do appreciate the support you've given me, and respect your pov. I just think everyone here deserves respect, especially if they own their mistakes.

Conrad says a couple posts later that he had a bad day and he apologized for letting it color his words. We're all here looking for support and we all have our moments. We don't need to knock each other down for it.


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## Jaded Heart (Jan 5, 2011)

I have come to the end, I won't do this no more. I'm almost 100% sure he is still talking to her and I won't let him sit here while I try to fix our marriage and he is still talking to her . I would have thought that he would at least give his brother that respect. But I guess not, I got pretty mad last night he changed all the bank accounts passwords so I can't do anything now. When he got home I was pretty angry! 

Told him he better think fast and come up with something cause he has a lot to lose and there is a lot to gain! I can't live like this . I will be kicking him out this weekend if doesn't talk about what he wants.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Jaded Heart said:


> I have come to the end, I won't do this no more. I'm almost 100% sure he is still talking to her and I won't let him sit here while I try to fix our marriage and he is still talking to her . I would have thought that he would at least give his brother that respect. But I guess not, I got pretty mad last night he changed all the bank accounts passwords so I can't do anything now. When he got home I was pretty angry!
> 
> Told him he better think fast and come up with something cause he has a lot to lose and there is a lot to gain! I can't live like this . I will be kicking him out this weekend if doesn't talk about what he wants.


It would be better if you got a legal separation and prepared for a divorce. Make copies of all financial records bills and records of his involvement with his SIL. Cheating does not effect the divorce settlement in terms of property settlement but the but the judge has discretion in alimony and child support and there is where mitigating circumstances play a role.

TIME TO GET A LAWYER, your husband is playing you big time he thinks he is safe and you will not do anything. Don't let him do that, stick up for and protect yourself!! Keep records of the fact that he cut off access to finances that a hostile act and illegal, the judge will come down hard on this one. Get a lawyer don't act yet. 

So plan don't react. He expects you to fly off the handle. Keep him off balance don't say a think just do. 

Don't react with threats, you are tipping him off and he may change banks. Don't say anything, to him, don't show your hand start the legal ball rolling and then kick him out. He is planning something if he made this step and it does not include you. 

Again try to control your anger and play it smart. Plan now think 2 steps ahead of him. When the time is right let her husband know that you suspect they are still in contact. 

She has no respect for her husband. Hopefully, he will still want to keep the marriage intact and does not kick her out.


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