# lonely



## forever learning (Sep 28, 2010)

Ugh...I think finally having to talk with my son about things has triggered all my feelings...

I am feeling very lonely at the moment...The house is missing that woman's touch....There is something that a woman just brings to a house you know...


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## 6foot5 (Jun 15, 2011)

I know exactly what you mean but...that woman (ex) I suppose did not care very much about what you were bringing in if she left , right ? I had (still do sometimes ) that feeling as well but after just over a month being alone in the house ,I dont feel that she was bringing in that much at all , what Iam missing the most is the sound of my son being around all the time , I can cook , I can clean , I can do pretty much everything I need to make my house look like if she was here.Dont worry friend Iam sure you are doing "well" when it comes to your home .


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## forever learning (Sep 28, 2010)

thanks 6'5.....
You right the house is fine ...its clean and tidy...Today we went and bought some yankee candles to replace the burnt out ones...
( just dodged the falling beer can ) those things help. 

Its funny cause I knew I was never a slob but the stbxw was really really clean ......now that she is not here I find that I am pretty clean myself.... I laugh to myself sometimes when I do all those little things ( without thinking about it ) that she asked me to do over the years....Now I just do them for me.. 
I like cooking and have been perfecting cooking fish lately....I have always been good at meats...fish well hit and miss....I have been getting lots of fresh king salmon and halibut and pretty much have it down to a science now...Its also not bad knowing that when I do the laundry if I accidentally screw up I am not gonna yell at myself 

I do find myself missing her conversation and her goofiness ...although it had been quite awhile since she gave me a squeeze like she ment it...I miss that feeling of being loved and appreciated...just need time I guess.


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## Lostouthere (Aug 24, 2011)

(Hugs) I know what your going through. Its getting better and as said hey I made it before I met her and was doing fine and I will be fine without her just as you will. It does suck coming home to a quiet home it feels empty because we no longer have that connection with someone else. It is very lonely but hey we got everyone here. Cooking fish is not something im good at lol I can cook anything else though.


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## forever learning (Sep 28, 2010)

thanks lost...It is a huge adjustment for sure. This site has helped me keep my sanity. I have been going to IC for the last year and a half or so and she has pretty much cut me loose 

I can schedule anytime and she will listen or give me advice If I need it...but for the most part she thinks I have found "myself" and why I did the things I did in my past..... she also said she see's a strength in me that makes her happy and she knows I'll be fine...Now if I can just get that through my thick skull.

I hear you on the fish.....I have been lucky the past few times..
I am going to start trying to get a good array of recipes down...I would love to know how to make fresh pasta


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## Lostouthere (Aug 24, 2011)

Likewise the site has helped me alot especially when Im stuck at the house lol. I try to force myself to sit here and get use to it. That is great on the IC keep up with that. Sounds like your getting through it. Im still working on me right now and although I am better it will be a while. Was it your IC that told you she sees strength in you? I tell you I did alot of reading here before joining and posting and I really wish I would have joined sooner becasue it is great support and everyone knows what we are all going through. 

Probably would be a good idea for me to go to IC but I dont know. I will have to work on the fish Im not a real big fan on pasta lol.


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

The convo between you guys is beautiful, not in a girly manner, but just the support you all are providing each other. That is what makes this haven to come to everyday. It truly helped save my spirit.


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## Lostouthere (Aug 24, 2011)

thanks HNH this place is great!


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## forever learning (Sep 28, 2010)

Thank you HNHappy...

Hey Lost...I read here for awhile before posting too...I am not a good typer so I have a hard time getting all my thoughts down..Which is probably good sometimes. That and I was ashamed of being a " cheater " and that everyone would think I got what was coming to me..

I realized that the folks here are here for support and not to judge. I started to post when my wife was having a EA and texting another dude so much I couldn't believe it ...It went on for 9 months or so before they finally had a PA at least thats what she told me....

Yeah it was my counselor who said that to me. She is really good at what she does. I tried IC along time ago after my mom died and some other stuff happened, and it sucked. I tried another and that sucked too...I pretty much gave up on counseling...... 

ironically my stbxw found this gal and talked me into going....I was defensive and basically a jack wagon the first couple sessions, but I came around. Unfortunately my wife got to a point where she was to embarrassed to go back. I kept going and even did phone session's while I was out of town..I would highly recommend going if you can....That along with reading lots of books and online articles has helped me understand lots of things.


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## Lostouthere (Aug 24, 2011)

im the same way FL Im not good at typing stuff out. We definately have to be here for each other and its not our place to judge we must all judge ourselves. One thing I try and live by is that there is karma. We all make mistakes but we have to learn from them for sure

I hate that you had to go through this one thing about it you know how it feels so you will be able to help others. Keep your head up though man it will get better.

I will check into the IC and see if I can find someone around close it might actually help. I wish things could go back how they was but I know that it wont.


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