# Sexless marriage?



## sadlostlonelyandconfused (Jan 24, 2011)

So a little back story, been married 2 years, have a toddler. I've never been a sexual person, not sure why I'm just very shy when it comes to that. My husband used to work nights in the military but has recently switched to days so were on the same schedule. We found out almost 2 weeks ago I had an ectopic pregnancy and lost the baby. I think this is a lot harder on me than it has been for him. He wants sex like 2 times a day, and doesn't understand why I don't. Especially lately. He's been pressuring me for it every single day and if I don't cave and say sure why not, he gets so pissed and stops talking to me. He says he doesn't trust me yet I've never done anything for him not to. 
Again I'm not a sexual person, and after having a baby and having huge stretch marks now I feel less sexy than I did. He said even if you're not in the mood we can still have sex. This is so unromantic to me, why would I want to have sex if I'm not in te mood at all? I just don't get it. Am I the only person no feels like this?? His attitude and anger are a huge turn off anyways. I don't know what to do to get him to see it from my side, how I feel and what I'm goin thru. He just says whatever I need sex and that's that. How can I make him see my side and get what I have to deal with? 
I can't be the only woman who doesn't want to have sex when I don't feel like it am I?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

Well, in regard to having sex even when you don't want to, sometimes by deciding to do it and starting to do it, you can find yourself in the mood to have sex. And if you work on your confidence, that will help you want to have sex too. Don't look at the changes in your body from pregnancy as a bad thing. Think of them as proof that you are a beautiful, desirable woman...after all, he wanted you enough that you were able to get pregnant and he still wants you now, doesn't he? 

With that said, you shouldn't be pressured or forced to have sex. You need to sit down with him at some point when you're not going to bed and he hasn't been trying to get you to have sex and explain to him the things you're thinking and feeling. If he still can't understand, then it's time to consider that this is not about sex, but about something else and the sex or lack thereof is the manifestation of that something else.


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