# my marriage is failing, please help!



## anonguy (Jan 24, 2010)

Please help me. I feel like my marriage is falling apart, and I don't know what to do.

My wife and I are 25 and we met around 6 years ago and got married 2 years ago. I met her in Japan as an exchange student, and we fell in love with each other obsessively. For the next two years, all our thoughts were consumed with how to be together, from dating long distance, to her studying at my college for a while. I then moved to Japan for a year to be with her, and she then moved to the US to be with me permanently. We went through the entire Greencard and immigration process so that she could live in the US, which was incredibly expensive, time consuming, and stressful.

Now, she has a job where she works until 10pm every night and weekends too. I never have the opportunity to see her, and whenever I say something about it she gets extremely offended. I just finished graduate school, and for about a year, I was really busy too, but I was still at home most of the time. She thinks that because I was busy in school that she can completely ignore me now and that it is OK. On top of that, she wants to have free time outside of work with her friends or co-workers, and she says that time with me is a burden. I feel like the last thing she wants to do is spend time with me, and she even said yesterday that she doesn't enjoy it. Her job is destroying our relationship and she doesn't seem to care. I think she loves the company more than she loves me, if she even loves me anymore. 

The thing is, I have been offered a six-figure job out of state, but she doesn't want to move. This job has great hours, low stress, and employs for life, so we would have lots of time together to do whatever we wanted. The other thing is that her job is very low paying, so we are struggling financially just to stay in this bad situation. I have the opportunity of a lifetime, but I think I would lose her if I took it. However, because of her work, there really isn't must left of our relationship at all. I just feel lonely and sad sitting at home waiting to see a glimpse of her, and she is usually tired and just wants to go to bed. Is keeping her worth it?

She and I devoted years of our lives to figuring out how to be together, and there was never a question of that being what we wanted. We also traveled the world together and have so many wonderful memories. I truly love her, and I don't think there is anyone out there for me besides her. At the same time, I feel like I shouldn't sacrifice such a great opportunity for myself to be with a woman that doesn't care about me.

What should I do???


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## mis (Jan 19, 2010)

I don't think you should sacrifice this oppurtunity for someone that doesn't even give you the time of day. I think you should talk to her, ask her if she cares about you and how she feels about the relationship herself. Maybe she doesn't have her priorities in order or maybe she doesn't realize how alone you feel. If she doesn't want to put effort into the relationship I think it's time to move on.


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