# Protect kids from internet porn



## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

How does everyone protect their kids from porn (and other internet filth)? Especially on phones, since we’re all expected to give kids smartphones nowadays.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Finally a porn debate you and I agree on. I agree kids should be protected. I set the home router for their devices to kick off at 9:00 when they were young. I also installed an app on their phones but I can’t remember the name (been a while). Outside of that I had a phone hacking program... I believe it was called phoneLab or something similar that I could check what they had been up to. When they reached 17 I removed everything.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

My sons are older now but I have a lot of influence over them. One thing I did beyond having the porn is ridiculous and fake talk is to point out that it's actually the biggest supplier of viruses that will crash your computer.

They are both gamers and saved up money for nice gaming machines and are quite protective of them so I can tell you this had a big impact.

When they were younger it was understood that I was free to walk in on them anytime I pleased and I did so frequently.

Of course I can't guarantee they've never looked . I'm sure they have. I just hope I've had some reasonable influence.


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## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

cleanbrowsing.org is something I’ve used for years- for those technically astute enough to edit DNS server settings in their router (pretty simple).

It’s free and effective to make most hardcore porn sites inaccessible.

No phones or computers are allowed in bedrooms too.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Use an alternate DNS — something that will filter out porn, etc — with your router. I seem to recall that OpenDNS’ servers offer this ability but I may be thinking of someone else.

For devices, enable parental controls and/or registry edits that prohibit the installation of software and/or access to network configuration tools that would allow them to specify a different DNS (different than what you configure on your router).

I configured the parental controls on my nephew’s smartphone for my brother… poor kid can barely do anything other than talk and text on it. 😆


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## seadoug105 (Jan 12, 2018)

No matter what the subject matter (tv shows/movies, events, rides, basically anything kids want to do too young) I always talked about maintaining their innocents as long as they can. I would tell them that once they go to the next level of something it is hard to go back to the previous level and get the same amount of joy out of it; so enjoy the moments you are in.

As they got older and we had conversations about sex and sex education, I would tell them that I can‘t protect them from everything (they know it’s my job to protect them and get them ready for the world). Especially with the temptations of the internet and they would have to make the right choice to protect themselves.

Then I remind them that once you go to the next level of something it’s hard to go back… being older they (boys) pushed back, and of course wanted an example. So I gave them one they could understand best… VIDEO GAMES…. Having gone from a PS3 to a PS4, I asked them (in an excited story telling way) if they remembered how much fun they use to have playing the PS3 and all the games we have (Rachet & Clank, Lego Everything, Superstar Dust)…. And they were all excited and happy agreeing, almost like they wanted to play right then.. I followed it up with, “How much do you play the PS3 and all those games since we got the PS4?” They both got quiet, trying to think of examples when they had played the PS3 since getting the PS4. After a few week attempts (Minecraft… until it was on the PS4), they left almost sad wanting to go play some of their old PS3 games.

I then end I made my point and they heard it loud and clear. Will stop them from discovering or seeing pornography? No! However it has made them think twice and put the whole subject matter (slippery slope of nudity, pornography, sexuality, and future sexual relationships) in a way they can understand and relate to. As they have gotten a little older even though the issues have become more complex, still go back to this example and it seems to be even more impactful as they took back at those “fun times” (playing the PS3) that seem so far away; yet they still prefer the PS4.

hope that made sense..


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

They have browsers for kids that restrict things. I don't know what they are. They have security settings in all the phones and I'm assuming tablets as well. If you catch them finding a way around it, you can take the device. People got along without them just fine up until 20 years ago, you know. They will at some point see it by looking at some other kid's device whose parents aren't as savvy or some older kid's device who is immature and careless enough to show it to them. But it's still better to, by your restricting actions, teach them that it's not acceptable fare, especially for children.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I'm unsure if all this would work, when I grew up you type in one wrong letter and boom, porn.  

Primary school sure, but in high school there's always the clever geek who in this generation may be able to get rid of the hacks as well as the bloke who downloads all the porn for everyone. And kids are going to talk about it, making it forbidden once in high school, I'm not so sure about.


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

I didn't restrict my daughter of really anything and implemented no controls...I even allowed her to watch R rated movies when she was a pre teen, because, quite frankly I thought she was able to handle it.. ...She just graduated HS, top honors level, top 1% SAT score, never been in trouble and is already accepted and enrolled in one of the most prestigious universities in the country....With her brains and her maturity level, I have no doubt she will continue to excel in career and life..despite not being "controlled"....

You can control your kids devices all you want, but unless you plan to lock them in the closet. you will have no control of them once they leave the house...All you did was now create something that they MUST see and experience because by controlling and demonizing it, you mystified it....You unknowingly turned it into something that they will be drawn to as something you told them is forbidden.. Kids will be kids...And btw, most of the stuff parents do to control their kids electronics, are being hacked all the time by kids that just know how to do it....Its a joke to them...

And maybe its something that some kids can handle and some can't? That I don't know...They did the same with rap music in the 90's and it went nowhere...And they kept the Hustler and Penthouse mags behind the counter and covered up at the local candy store, but that never stopped us from finding them and stashing them up in our tree fort...😎

I am no expert by any means, but rather than make my daughter fear everything and keep her in the dark, I/we raised her that the worst way she could hurt me is to let me down....To betray the trust that I instilled in her...Once that was established(at a very young age) then I never had to "control" anything....She knew where I stood and that was enough of a deterrent...

Your ....mileage .....may......vary.....


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## Tasorundo (Apr 1, 2012)

We used to have something called 'clean router' that was a piece of hardware you used. It had a lot of controls on it, the ability to see histories from any device connected, as well as control access times. It had a lot of issues since several people in the home game a lot, and it would block patches, and different servers all the time.

However, it certainly blocked the porn.


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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

hamadryad said:


> I am no expert by any means, but rather than make my daughter fear everything and keep her in the dark, I/we raised her that the worst way she could hurt me is to let me down....To betray the trust that I instilled in her...Once that was established(at a very young age) then I never had to "control" anything....She knew where I stood and that was enough of a deterrent...


♥


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

hamadryad said:


> I didn't restrict my daughter of really anything and implemented no controls...I even allowed her to watch R rated movies when she was a pre teen, because, quite frankly I thought she was able to handle it.. ...She just graduated HS, top honors level, top 1% SAT score, never been in trouble and is already accepted and enrolled in one of the most prestigious universities in the country....With her brains and her maturity level, I have no doubt she will continue to excel in career and life..despite not being "controlled"....
> 
> You can control your kids devices all you want, but unless you plan to lock them in the closet. you will have no control of them once they leave the house...All you did was now create something that they MUST see and experience because by controlling and demonizing it, you mystified it....You unknowingly turned it into something that they will be drawn to as something you told them is forbidden.. Kids will be kids...And btw, most of the stuff parents do to control their kids electronics, are being hacked all the time by kids that just know how to do it....Its a joke to them...
> 
> ...


My parents (mostly my Dad) took a very “hands off” approach when it came to policing whatever media — whether movies, music, TV, books, etc — my brother and I consumed growing up. It mostly worked out pretty well.

That said, they didn’t just turn us loose and not pay attention to what we were doing. We were allowed to watch pretty much whatever we wanted so long as it wasn’t overtly laden with either extreme violence or pornography. And Dad was always there to set the record straight — he let us know what was and wasn’t realistic. “As long as you don’t have a problem separating fantasy from reality, you can watch whatever you want. And if you have questions about anything you see, ask.” (I’m paraphrasing, of course.)

As you say, though, some kids can handle it and others can’t. My nephew and one of my cousin’s kids (both adopted) are both prime examples of children that need to have their media consumption choices not only limited but regularly scrutinized.


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## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

hamadryad said:


> I didn't restrict my daughter of really anything and implemented no controls...I even allowed her to watch R rated movies when she was a pre teen, because, quite frankly I thought she was able to handle it.. ...She just graduated HS, top honors level, top 1% SAT score, never been in trouble and is already accepted and enrolled in one of the most prestigious universities in the country....With her brains and her maturity level, I have no doubt she will continue to excel in career and life..despite not being "controlled"....
> 
> You can control your kids devices all you want, but unless you plan to lock them in the closet. you will have no control of them once they leave the house...All you did was now create something that they MUST see and experience because by controlling and demonizing it, you mystified it....You unknowingly turned it into something that they will be drawn to as something you told them is forbidden.. Kids will be kids...And btw, most of the stuff parents do to control their kids electronics, are being hacked all the time by kids that just know how to do it....Its a joke to them...
> 
> ...


Obviously more boys and men struggle with internet porn than girls. We don’t let kids drink or smoke either so blocking porn isn’t that different is it?


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## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

Tasorundo said:


> We used to have something called 'clean router' that was a piece of hardware you used. It had a lot of controls on it, the ability to see histories from any device connected, as well as control access times. It had a lot of issues since several people in the home game a lot, and it would block patches, and different servers all the time.
> 
> However, it certainly blocked the porn.


Yeah, don’t want to inhibit gaming! That’s the problem with packet cracking.


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## Tasorundo (Apr 1, 2012)

CatholicDad said:


> Yeah, don’t want to inhibit gaming! That’s the problem with packet cracking.


Well, I like to play games, so it was frustrating to constantly have to adjust settings on routers and ports to get something to work that should just work.


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## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

Tasorundo said:


> Well, I like to play games, so it was frustrating to constantly have to adjust settings on routers and ports to get something to work that should just work.


Yes, it takes processing power to inspect packets and allow/deny. Definitely a down side to that approach. Plus the configuration time... just too difficult.


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## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

hamadryad said:


> I didn't restrict my daughter of really anything and implemented no controls...I even allowed her to watch R rated movies when she was a pre teen, because, quite frankly I thought she was able to handle it.. ...She just graduated HS, top honors level, top 1% SAT score, never been in trouble and is already accepted and enrolled in one of the most prestigious universities in the country....With her brains and her maturity level, I have no doubt she will continue to excel in career and life..despite not being "controlled"....
> 
> You can control your kids devices all you want, but unless you plan to lock them in the closet. you will have no control of them once they leave the house...All you did was now create something that they MUST see and experience because by controlling and demonizing it, you mystified it....You unknowingly turned it into something that they will be drawn to as something you told them is forbidden.. Kids will be kids...And btw, most of the stuff parents do to control their kids electronics, are being hacked all the time by kids that just know how to do it....Its a joke to them...
> 
> ...


We’re all anonymous here and don’t bother answering if you don’t want but is your daughter sexually active and on birth control? I mean heck, don’t protect or “control” her all you want but there’s a chance then that you’ll soon be grandpa @hamadryad . Sometimes kids do need guidance and protection I think. We can’t protect them forever but hopefully we can at least until they’re old enough to vote.


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

CatholicDad said:


> We’re all anonymous here and don’t bother answering if you don’t want but is your daughter sexually active and on birth control? I mean heck, don’t protect or “control” her all you want but there’s a chance then that you’ll soon be grandpa @hamadryad . Sometimes kids do need guidance and protection I think. We can’t protect them forever but hopefully we can at least until they’re old enough to vote.


The short answer is no....on both accounts...

I have a very open relationship with my daughter, probably far more than most fathers would...For a variety of reasons that I won't get into...but that's the story...Despite the fact that she is extremely attractive, she has chosen to focus on studies and athletics...Boy crazy is not her and because she doesn't seek validation from guys(which is where a lot of young girls fail) I really am not concerned at all with any of that...She'll be 19 early next year and leaving 1000 miles away for school...There isn't much I can control anymore, but that being said, I don't worry...

To each their own, especially when it comes to parenting...Whatever works for one family is all that matters...I guess my feeling is about a lot of what I said in the previous post...I don't have to "lock down" much when my daughter knows where I stand and just merely letting me down is a worse scenario for her than any other punishment, lockdown, or confiscation...


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