# rekindling a relationship with my childrens farther what do you think?



## milly (Sep 17, 2009)

hi all 
i am ideally seeking peoples opions on what they think of my situation

i was with my high school sweetheart who is the father of my 4 children 8yo 6yo 4yo 3yo and had been with him for 12 years raised out children had a great life had our own dairyfarm etc and where very happy indeed untill the drought hit our farm where we slowly lost everything we had worked so hard for in our lifes, i became depresses i not long had our 4th child and life for the both of us really turned upside down i fell into depression my partner went to alchohol and it really fell apart we moved to another state to try and regain our lifes but by then alot of damage had been done through they way we delt with the awful situation.
we began a new life but could never really get what we had back and after 2 years our relationship ended well i ended it i broke up with my kids farther under the terms that alchol was an issue and the fact that he was never really a farther figure to his children theirs lil more to it but its the main things i am breifing out.
we went our own ways i had the children he was at first started paying money to help support the cost of the children till oneday he just stopped alltogether didnt see his children ring them or anything for 16+mths we both been ina relationship with another but only one , i ended up in an abusive alcholic relationship that ive not long escaped from.
not long ago he made contact with me saying that childsupport had money coming for me etc he was aware on my current relationship and how bad it was.
i went into a womens refuge and still their till this day till a house for rent can be found etc
we both moved back to the same town we moved to when we came interstate
alot has chnaged he spends as much time as he can with kids and we go out and do the family things we can now talk civila without arguments we have come to the agreement that the break up has done us good we learnt where we went wrong and knew what needed to be changed we are now reconcidering rekindling our relationship we are comfortable witheach other cpmpany now we have become close again and with intamicy that just seemd to have just happend was never intential on either side and it felt so right and so comfortable felt like it was when we spent all those years together although we have both chnaged in the neally 2 years we have been apart, im comfortable with him but still have those little doubts that things maygo back the way they used which made us break in the first place guess its a fear.
i would love other people opinnion on this i wont be rushing and be letting it go with the flow but would love your opinon what you think about rekindling our relationship and be a family once again the kids are really happy and often askme when will we be a family again part of me is saying yes to being a family and a small part of me saying no so lil confused and we are both feeling the same thing
what is ur opinion or is their anyone else who has gone through a similar thing
kind regards milly


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## milly (Sep 17, 2009)

sorry about the typos im a lil tired lol but carnt stopthinking about this above


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## foolz1 (Sep 5, 2009)

Things often go South, when there is a lot of stress in a relationship. It is up to the both of you to work it out, if you both are sincerely interested in making things work.

I would never presume to know what is best or right for anyone else's life, but I hope that all works out for the both of you.

I hope you don't make any rash decisions and that you give it a chance, if you really want to make things work,

I'm wishing the best to the both of you! Take Care.

~FZ1


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## believer (Apr 22, 2008)

maybe the time apart for both of you did do some good & hopefully you both learned from your mistakes in your previuos relationship. 
Were you ever married? officailly seperated? divorced? 

If you do decide to try to work things out a 2nd time around, I think it is very important to discuss went wrong the 1st time (depression, alcohol, etc., etc) & figure out how you are going to do things differently. And if one of you recognizes your relationship headed down the wrong path - what are you both going to do about it? 
For your kids sake & for yours- I think it is worth trying again if you both think you are ready. But know going into it things HAVE to be different this time to make it work. 
Good luck & keep us posted.


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