# Pros/cons of posting late on Cheaterville?



## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

Hi,

I'm not really sure I want to post my STBXW and OM on Cheaterville. I did not know about it during the affair, and now I'm 6 months out from D-Day (wife and OM are living together). We're starting the divorce process soon and I don't want to make that messier than it needs to be. At this point, I would like to wait until D is filed. Or should I wait until it is finalized?

Also, what do you see as pro's and con's of posting to C-ville? I'm not sure I want my children seeing it years later.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Wait til it is over, then see if you want to CV them. And why should your kids not know what their father is really like?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> Wait til it is over, then see if you want to CV them. And why should your kids not know what their father is really like?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You mean mother, right?

(I'm the father.)


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

The trouble with posting your wife there is that there's a chance that someone such as the parents of your kids friends will discover her post. Depending on your kids ages it would be doubly traumatic to be teased at school if the discovery was made public in your community or circle of friends. 

IMO it's best to think of their welfare than of whatever benefit you get from posting your wife. Especially if they are currently unaware of all that occurred. The chance of a wedge being placed between you and them is too great. 

I think there is a benefit in some circumstances but IMO this is not one of them.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

I posted stbxw's posOM on cheaterville. It was late. After she moved out. After posOM was largely out of the picture, but not completely as they still work together. 

Thing is, I did it out of spite and anger. It did not help my situation. stbxw found it (must have been googling him) and responded with multiple hateful nasty emails. posOM responded with the same. 

It created more tension in our co-parenting relationship and did not help me recover as I was frequently getting emails about comments made to the post so I was frequently going back and looking at it. It kept me stuck in anger. 

I removed it. I was not proud of putting it up. 

Before she realized I took it down I did get an email from her finally acknowledging that she was the one that broke up our M. But did I really need that? I wanted it. It made me feel good. But only because I was still looking to her for validation.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Think of the good it will do. Every person needs to know what kind of people are around them.

Would you start up a friendship with man you knew would prey on married women? Would you like it if your daughter went out with that guy or would you warn her?

Considering they did it, they do not want it known they are cheaters, why? 

Putting them on cheaterville.com is truth and justice. What did they do to you? Putting them on cheaterville does not come close to what they did to you and may help an unfortunate person in the future.

One poster here has kept track of the POSOM and every time he gets a job in a new district he tells the board of education about him. Another cheater that got posted can no longer practice law.

Punishment is what stops bad behavior. Period


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Pro: It tells the truth about the cheater that they can't run from.

Con: I don't know one.

Oh, and the former lawyer turned energy company salesman now has over 1.1 million hits on cheaterville...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I'm not sure that cheaterville is such a good idea. 

For one thing will people really be looking up this person?

If she loses her job, how will that affect your divorce settlement?

If I saw a post of someone I knew on cheaters ville I would assume that it was posted as revenge and was probably filled with all kinds of exagerations, lies and a bit of the truth.


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## sharkeey (Apr 27, 2012)

staystrong said:


> We're starting the divorce process soon and I don't want to make that messier than it needs to be. At this point, I would like to wait until D is filed. Or should I wait until it is finalized?


Wait til it's finalized.

You don't need unnecessary conflict escalation at this early juncture.


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## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> I'm not sure that cheaterville is such a good idea.
> 
> For one thing will people really be looking up this person?
> 
> ...


Yes, they will look up the OM. He's a musician by trade. And my STBXW moonlights as one under her maiden name. That's the name I would use, which I assume is the name she will take after D. I think she will keep her professional name as our last name for a while. 

I think Cheaterville is kind of low class and it makes me feel low class using it , but I would like to tarnish their reps because, well.. they simply deserve it. They used the music school where he works for their trysts, so I would like any student name searching him to see his listing on CV.

Zillard seems to be the only one with personal experience, and he says it caused him more harm than good. I can see that..


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## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

sharkeey said:


> Wait til it's finalized.
> 
> You don't need unnecessary conflict escalation at this early juncture.


I agree with this.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

staystrong said:


> Yes, they will look up the OM. He's a musician by trade. And my STBXW moonlights as one under her maiden name. That's the name I would use, which I assume is the name she will take after D. I think she will keep her professional name as our last name for a while.
> 
> I think Cheaterville is kind of low class and it makes me feel low class using it , but I would like to tarnish their reps because, well.. they simply deserve it. They used the music school where he works for their trysts, so I would like any student name searching him to see his listing on CV.
> 
> Zillard seems to be the only one with personal experience, and he says it caused him more harm than good. I can see that..


SomedayDig has personal experience with it and got some petty good revenge as the OM lost his job as a highly paid lawyer over the dirt posted publicly on the internet about him.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

staystrong said:


> Zillard seems to be the only one with personal experience, and he says it caused him more harm than good. I can see that..


Nope. I posted the xOM. He's the attorney. Well, he was. See that site also has an anonymous email feature that I used to send to the top two partners in the large firm he used to work for.

I have no issues with what I did. I sleep well.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sharkeey (Apr 27, 2012)

Whats to gain by tarnishing the reputation of a person you're not going to speak to anymore?

What's to stop them from doing something to tarnish your reputation simply out of revenge?

How do you know that names posted on sites like cheaterville are even legitimate?

People do things out of spite all the time. 

And they make stuff up too.

Even if they're the ones who are supposedly "wrong".


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

"What's to gain by tarnishing the reputation of a person you're not going to speak to anymore?"

A lot of satisfaction as a BS. I wrote a simple "this guys a cheater" comment. The dude f'd my wife for five years and lied to everyone about it, including his now ex wife and his family. Why shouldn't he bear public humiliation and a tarnished reputation when he's supposed to be an upstanding person as a lawyer?

Scratch the last part of the question. It's totally rhetorical.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## theroad (Feb 20, 2012)

SomedayDig said:


> Pro: It tells the truth about the cheater that they can't run from.
> 
> Con: I don't know one.
> 
> ...


How about a link?


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

That would give away my anonymity...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## theroad (Feb 20, 2012)

zillard said:


> I posted stbxw's posOM on cheaterville. It was late. After she moved out. After posOM was largely out of the picture, but not completely as they still work together.
> 
> Thing is, I did it out of spite and anger. It did not help my situation. stbxw found it (must have been googling him) and responded with multiple hateful nasty emails. posOM responded with the same.
> 
> ...


I'd put OM back up.

Tension?
What tension?
Tension for you?
No way you did nothing wrong.
Tension for the guilty?
Hell yeah!

WW wants to bee-itch about being there ask her why. WW you claimed that there was nothing wrong with your affair, so why the anger that people know about you cheating on me?


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Posting on cheaterville is not something to do for those who just want to bend over and take it. It is not for someone who has no fight left in them. It is not for the faint hearted, wussy.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

chapparal said:


> Posting on cheaterville is not something to do for those who just want to bend over and take it. It is not for someone who has no fight left in them. It is not for the faint hearted, wussy.


^^^ ALL OF THIS^^^

If you have any doubt about your convictions, don't do it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Numbersixxx (Oct 10, 2012)

Do it for great justice!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

Nice work, SomedayDig.

Sharkeey, I think it's a matter of justice. 

These two people carried on a secret relationship which resulted in a the breakage of two marriages and one family with children. Lots of pain, tears, financial hardship, and so on. They did not handle it with grace. 

One thing I've learned is that cheaters really fear that their reputation will be tarnished. This is exactly where I want to hit them. 

I don't care about the site being used against me. 

The question is, can I be sued for harassment or anything like that? It is anonymous so they can't prove it's me, right?


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## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)

staystrong said:


> The question is, can I be sued for harassment or anything like that? It is anonymous so they can't prove it's me, right?


Don't know if you can be sued. It does come down to what they can prove if they could. If you do it just don't do it from your house or any computer you own or where you work, etc if you want to be on the safe side.


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## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

SomedayDig said:


> Nope. I posted the xOM. He's the attorney. Well, he was. See that site also has an anonymous email feature that I used to send to the top two partners in the large firm he used to work for.
> 
> I have no issues with what I did. I sleep well.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Don't know your backstory. Does this mean you R'ed with your wife and she approved this action? 

It would bring the ire of my STBXW and may affect co-parenting, similar to Zillard's case.


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

SomedayDig said:


> Nope. I posted the xOM. He's the attorney. Well, he was. See that site also has an anonymous email feature that I used to send to the top two partners in the large firm he used to work for.
> 
> I have no issues with what I did. I sleep well.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


This is great and just. 
Dig did you ever worry that the POSOM would post Regret as payback to you? I don't recall if you have school age kids. Would it make a difference if he had/you did?


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

staystrong said:


> The question is, can I be sued for harassment or anything like that? It is anonymous so they can't prove it's me, right?


Anyone can be sued for just about anything. Whether or not they have a case is the question, and the answer would be no. The only thing they could possibly sue for would be defamation, but that wouldn't fly with your evidence, as long as you haven't lied.

Personally, if I were in your shoes, I would beg them to sue me should they threaten me with it. They're not going to win, and then you get to display all your evidence in open court (I would invite people to come and witness the spectacle) and on top of that you would now have a public record of their adultery for anyone interested to see.

Oh, puhleeeeeze, sue me!

One more thing; I wouldn't do it anonymously either. I would sign my name loud and proud to it. What's the fun if you can't take credit for it?


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## couple (Nov 6, 2010)

chapparal said:


> Posting on cheaterville is not something to do for those who just want to bend over and take it. It is not for someone who has no fight left in them. It is not for the faint hearted, wussy.


Many people think that people sitting behind a computer screen demeaning others are cowards so I'm not sure that your intended show of bravado is the reality.

There are plenty of reasons not to do it. I suppose on some level it does take some guts (or stupidity) to open yourself up to a public mudslinging. I've seen a couple of people I know on these kind of sites and friends and family on both sides anonymously jumped in to post all kinds of stuff all over the internet slinging mud at both sides. Main effect is making EVERYONE involved look bad. Most people have things that they don't want posted on the internet and even if you don't, things can be fabricated about you in retaliation. Think before you open yourself up to a public reputation wrecking war that will remain available on the internet FOREVER!


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

staystrong said:


> The question is, can I be sued for harassment or anything like that? It is anonymous so they can't prove it's me, right?


This is from a legal advice board. The lawyer speaks to a cheater who wants to sue:

_The first thing you may want to consider is to ask the poster to take it down. If that doesn't work, you could file a claim for defamation and libel per se. However, with lawsuits like that, you open your entire personal life up for investigation, because the opposing side's defense is that the statement is either an opinion, or based in truth.

As such, depending on the circumstances, the opposing side may be able to dig into your past regarding any person with whom you had a sexual encounter, and then ask that person if they have or received an STD. Moreover, anything printed in a law suit is public record and there is an absolute privilege and a right to reproduce and distribute anything written in a law suit without repercussions - EVEN IF THEY DO IT WITH MALICE OR BAD INTENT.

So in the end, a lawsuit regarding defamation is risky because it could publicize the issue worse than it is now and it would cost quite a bit in legal fees. _

find the story here
I was posted on cheaterville with claims that I gave someone an std. - Avvo.com


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## sharkeey (Apr 27, 2012)

couple said:


> Think before you open yourself up to a public reputation wrecking war that will remain available on the internet FOREVER!


Exactly.

It's not bravado and it's not justice to post something on an internet website about someone that can get very ugly, very quickly. It's just revenge, no matter how you try to justify it.

Forget all that cheaterville crap and get on with your life.

They can be someone else's problem.


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## keepmyfamily (Nov 16, 2012)

I say do what will make YOU feel better. I have a personal goal that I need to sit on something for a pre-set amount of time, if after that time has passed I still want to do it, then I do. I try not to let my emotions drive me, because that's when it'll backfire and come back to bite you.

If you feel you need to post to CV, then do it. If you're on the fence, then don't. CV is not something I would do personally, but I see why other's would want to.

As for being sued, like someone else said, I dare a cheater to take this to court. It would only expose them on a deeper level, especially if there is solid proof on the BS side.


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## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

Your making this hard, guys. Well, I suppose I have months before D is finalized to pull the trigger. 

I'm less worried about a legal case than I am about retaliation or causing problems with my Ex. However, at the same time, I wouldn't mind shaming her and the OM. Is it revenge or some justice? She cuckolded me and shamed me by cheating and leaving. She tries to preserve her image - let the people know, I say. It's a betrayal, let them get their just desserts. Maybe that's vindictive but I prefer not be viewed as someone who can be trifled with.


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## sharkeey (Apr 27, 2012)

staystrong said:


> Is it revenge or some justice? She cuckolded me and shamed me by cheating and leaving. She tries to preserve her image - let the people know, I say.


I'm thinking it's revenge/justice

90/10


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

staystrong said:


> Don't know your backstory. Does this mean you R'ed with your wife and she approved this action?
> 
> It would bring the ire of my STBXW and may affect co-parenting, similar to Zillard's case.


Yes, my wife and I have been working on reconciliation since. It hasn't been an easy road. Click on my name and you'll find my story there. As for what she said about me posting him on cheaterville, it was basically, "I'm okay with you doing that." She said that because she knew it was the only way I could get any sort of retribution. And yes...a big part of this stuff IS retribution. 



walkonmars said:


> This is great and just.
> Dig did you ever worry that the POSOM would post Regret as payback to you? I don't recall if you have school age kids. Would it make a difference if he had/you did?


Honestly, Regret knows she f'd up for 5 years. She fully accepts that at any point the POSOM's BS could absolutely post her. She (the other BS) has that right considering what the two of them did for so f'ng long. Regret understands and says she will accept her fate if it goes that way.

Yes, we have 2 kids ages 10 & 7. They have 2 kids that are very young. It disgusts me to say, but this affair started immediately after they had their first child. The next...well, the affair was going on the entire time. I think that might have had a lot to do with her leaving the fck head. Well, that and he lied about absolutely everything to everyone.



staystrong said:


> Your making this hard, guys. Well, I suppose I have months before D is finalized to pull the trigger.


Take your time with this. Someone here commented to me about posting the xOM on the site back in July. I didn't do it til August. I debated a lot about retaliation especially with him being an attorney - oh, and his father having been mayor of a major city for like 20 years (can we say silver spoon?) - but in the end I decided he could bring it if he felt so inclined. Then again, he turtled really f'ng quick when on Dday night I told him if he ever contacted Regret in any way whatsoever that I would kill him. I was not blowing smoke. Since he knows me and my, let's call it history, he knows better than to ever call my f'ng bluff.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

For me, the D is not yet final. Posting did cause tension. Tension could possibly lead to stbxw challenging the 'consent decree' which could have a negative effect on me and my daughter. 

Also, I did not post to warn others. I posted out of spite, which is not a commendable action. 

I did not delete the post. I hid it. Will I unhide the post and make it public again after the D is final? 

I don't know. It's possible. But I will not put my stbxw on cheaterville. It will accomplish nothing for ME. Call me selfish, but right now I am focused on me and D6. Nobody else. 

Who other people choose for partners is out of my control and a posting on cheaterville will have minimal effect in that arena anyways, if any. 

Before all this did you check out cheaterville for everyone you dated? I sure didn't.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

theroad said:


> I'd put OM back up.
> 
> Tension?
> What tension?
> ...


Tension as in stbxw returning my daughter a day after agreed. Tension as in threats of lawsuits. 
Tension as in D6 returning home angry at me after talks with her mother. 

Yes, I can use these all against her in court. But in my situation there is no strategic advantage in doing so. I already have permission to move out of state after D is final... with D6. 

Why jeopardize that unnecessarily by fueling stbxw's anger which would eventually lead to a court battle?


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## stillcoping (Oct 14, 2012)

SomedayDig said:


> "What's to gain by tarnishing the reputation of a person you're not going to speak to anymore?"
> 
> A lot of satisfaction as a BS. I wrote a simple "this guys a cheater" comment. The dude f'd my wife for five years and lied to everyone about it, including his now ex wife and his family. Why shouldn't he bear public humiliation and a tarnished reputation when he's supposed to be an upstanding person as a lawyer?
> 
> ...


You sound so bitter and vindictive BS. Have you even posted about your lovely WW too? I mean, it's just fair right?


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

If we can't learn to forgive, we will carry anger into our next relationship.

Is that what we want? It seems totally unfair to our next partner, as our anger will effect the level of trust we have with them.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

stillcoping said:


> You sound so bitter and vindictive BS. Have you even posted about your lovely WW too? I mean, it's just fair right?


He's already stated that if the OM's BW chooses to post his wife on CV that he would have no problem with it and his wife would accept it as a consequence of her actions.

What more do you want?


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## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

I did not previously check Cheaterville for people I dated. I will now.

So if I post STBXW and OM on Cheaterville, yes I get the satisfaction and maybe I am helping others down the line.


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

I wouldn't do it. That isn't to say that I haven't thought about it. I already have an account and have for months. However, doing so would cause more problems for me if he were to find out. 

He is a very vindictive person and already tried to get revenge on me for going through his things and catching him cheating if you can imagine that... twisting the knife further I guess. So I can fear further revenge if I outed him online, I'm sure of it. 

His family would also probably come after me so I decided not to since it's me/them in the ratio of about 1:10 since I don't have family of my own out here. Right now there is civility with his family and I. I'd like to keep it that way for the sake of our kids.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

Miss Taken said:


> Right now there is civility with his family and I. I'd like to keep it that way for the sake of our kids.


Kids are more important than revenge.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

I really want to expose my STBXW's affairs to her family members, but my legal counsel has strongly advised me to wait until the divorce proceedings have finalized~ and then I can drop the hammer!

I agree with that strategy. I don't want to mess up anything in the divorce preceedings and property division.

Haven't thought about Cheaterville, _per se_, but I sure want her family and friends to know what the truth about our split-up really is, as well as the substantiated documentaion and evidence, whether they are receptive to it or not!


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

arbitrator said:


> I really want to expose my STBXW's affairs to her family members, but my legal counsel has strongly advised me to wait until the divorce proceedings have finalized~ and then I can drop the hammer!
> 
> I agree with that strategy. I don't want to mess up anything in the divorce preceedings and property division.
> 
> Haven't thought about Cheaterville, _per se_, but I sure want her family and friends to know what the truth about our split-up really is, as well as the substantiated documentaion and evidence, whether they are receptive to it or not!


I don't know your story, but if exposure isn't done in a timely fashion, then it more often than not comes off as just being vindictive and extremely counter-productive. Typically, it justifies what the WS has been claiming all along, and the friends and family usually agree.

You see, this is what I freaking hate about divorce lawyers. They have no interest in saving marriages whatsoever. They have no real paycheck coming with that ending. They are the LAST people you should take advice from if your intention is a possible reconciliation. 

Divorce lawyers, by nature, want to take the path of least resistance. Only problem is, this isn't always in the best interest of their client. Conversely, it's _always_ in their best interest. People tend to forget, the moment they hire a lawyer, that lawyer now works FOR them....not themselves. He's your hired hand, your employee. How many bosses allow their employees to tell them what to do and what is right? It's in your power to dictate how this proceeds. Oh, they have their place, but never forget their true motive: Paycheck. They don't give a sh!t about your marriage, just getting as big a paycheck as possible.

This is not necessarily directed to you, arby, but a general statement that I would hope at least one out their would think about before putting the entire fate of their marriage and life into the hands of one of their employees.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

stillcoping said:


> You sound so bitter and vindictive BS. Have you even posted about your lovely WW too? I mean, it's just fair right?


If you have been here since last summer you would know that both my story and my wife's story are here in full. I have nothing to hide. And if you think by me posting the xOM on cheaterville sounds vindictive, then you haven't read my story.

A guy f'd my wife for five years. I'm supposed to just let him get away with that. Hell, I've put my wife, Regret214 through a tough trial of her own this past almost year. She's still here. She's answered every question.

What? Are you a pius wayward or just never been in my shoes?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

By the way..unless anyone missed it, I firmly admitted that this was retribution. I make no bones or false pretense of that. I made that mother f'er pay.

What's wrong with that?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## movin on (Jan 24, 2012)

SomedayDig said:


> By the way..unless anyone missed it, I firmly admitted that this was retribution. I make no bones or false pretense of that. I made that mother f'er pay.
> 
> What's wrong with that?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Not a damn thing is wrong with that !!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

SomedayDig said:


> By the way..unless anyone missed it, I firmly admitted that this was retribution. I make no bones or false pretense of that. I made that mother f'er pay.
> 
> What's wrong with that?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Not a single thing. You got hit with a 2x4 you retaliated with a crowbar - in spades. 

Some people have it in their DNA, some learn it from their environment, others from their culture and upbringing. It's when it's NOT in your own DNA, learned behavior, or culture to do something and you do it anyway - doubt and unease ensue.


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## stillcoping (Oct 14, 2012)

3putt said:


> He's already stated that if the OM's BW chooses to post his wife on CV that he would have no problem with it and his wife would accept it as a consequence of her actions.
> 
> What more do you want?


I read THAT but I was talking about him posting his OWN wife too if the A really left him messed up inside since he's out to ruin this guy's future and his kids' future, why the one who took the vows with him get a free pass? That I don't get. Maybe the OM wife isn't as vindictive as him or that kind of "options" isn't her thing?


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

movin on said:


> Not a damn thing is wrong with that !!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:iagree:

I do believe I championed your actions, Digs.


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## stillcoping (Oct 14, 2012)

SomedayDig said:


> If you have been here since last summer you would know that both my story and my wife's story are here in full. I have nothing to hide. And if you think by me posting the xOM on cheaterville sounds vindictive, then you haven't read my story.
> 
> A guy f'd my wife for five years. I'm supposed to just let him get away with that. Hell, I've put my wife, Regret214 through a tough trial of her own this past almost year. She's still here. She's answered every question.
> 
> ...


I don't need to read your whole story to learn more how irrationally vindictive you are. What bothers me the most is your seeming LACK of empathy for the OM's W and their children. I wonder how much income he has lost since when he realized he couldn't work as a Lawyer anymore because of your little "retribution" and how hard it hit them financially with regards to supporting their kids needs. On top of that, you didn't even post about your WW on CV but only him which is pretty unfair.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

3putt said:


> :iagree:
> 
> I do believe I championed your actions, Digs.



And I thank you!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

stillcoping said:


> I don't need to read your whole story to learn more how irrationally vindictive you are. What bothers me the most is your seeming LACK of empathy for the OM's W and their children. I wonder how much income he has lost since when he realized he couldn't work as a Lawyer anymore because of your little "retribution" and how hard it hit them financially with regards to supporting their kids needs. On top of that, you didn't even post about your WW on CV but only him which is pretty unfair.



This is not a fairness contest. His BS does well for herself... Named in the top 40 under 40 in professionals. She'll take care of those children no doubt.

Him? I care more if my fart might turn to sh-t.

As for posting my WW. I'm working on reconciliation. Why would I do that? It's up to the xOM's BS to do that. Period.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

staystrong said:


> Hi,
> 
> I'm not really sure I want to post my STBXW and OM on Cheaterville. I did not know about it during the affair, and now I'm 6 months out from D-Day (wife and OM are living together). We're starting the divorce process soon and I don't want to make that messier than it needs to be. At this point, I would like to wait until D is filed. Or should I wait until it is finalized?
> 
> Also, what do you see as pro's and con's of posting to C-ville? I'm not sure I want my children seeing it years later.


If this guy is her first she's cheated with and you are already splitting, what the point? If she has a track record like myex with pulling trains, everybody except YOU already know she's a tramp even if you didn't. Cheaters cheat and I wouldn't offer one even a cup of coffee if I was aware of their past. I'm not concerned with their past sex life, but if it includes cheating, she's breathing somebody else's air.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

stillcoping said:


> On top of that, you didn't even post about your WW on CV but only him which is pretty unfair.


Geez, do you even read at all?

I said....



3putt said:


> He's already stated that if the OM's BW chooses to post his wife on CV that he would have no problem with it and his wife would accept it as a consequence of her actions.
> 
> What more do you want?


It's not his responsibility to post his wife there. It's the OM's BW's responsibility and right _*if she so chooses*_.

Is this really so difficult to understand?

I mean.....damn!


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

staystrong said:


> You mean mother, right?
> 
> (I'm the father.)


Yes. Sorry. Major brain freeze there!


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

3putt said:


> Geez, do you even read at all?
> 
> I said....
> 
> ...


I made it big in case anyone misunderstood you. It is HER preogrative to post my wife's information. Regret214 fully understands, comprehends and whatever other word there is that that could, in fact, happen. If it does, then she's slept in that bed and deserves what's due. If it doesn't then she's a very lucky person cuz it didn't happen AND I chose to work through this sh-t.

Okay. Enough for the evening. I'm going to go have sex with my repented wayward wife.

I bid you adieu!


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

sharkeey said:


> Whats to gain by tarnishing the reputation of a person you're not going to speak to anymore?
> 
> What's to stop them from doing something to tarnish your reputation simply out of revenge?
> 
> ...


Gain:

1. You get to tell the truth to the world. Don't know about others but that makes me feel free and good since I'm not part of keeping someone's dirty secret.

2. It can help warn future victims of the cheater, both people that might get involved I with them, but also spouses of people who might get involved with them.

3. I honestly do not view documenting the truth as tarnishing someone's reputation, I view it as telling the truth.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Just wondering do people who are against posting on cheaterville also think that the names of con men, fraudsters, rapist, burglars, drug dealers, etc should also not be posted on the Internet?

As a society we better our selves by recognizing the bad and untrust worthy people in our world. We do it to hold those people accountable for their choices to lie, deceive and betray, and we do it to warn others of the hard painful lessons we've learned.

If a guy robbed your house, you wouldn't shy away from making it public by calling the police and having them arrested.

So why let cheaters walk over you with impunity?


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

stillcoping said:


> I don't need to read your whole story to learn more how irrationally vindictive you are. What bothers me the most is your seeming LACK of empathy for the OM's W and their children. I wonder how much income he has lost since when he realized he couldn't work as a Lawyer anymore because of your little "retribution" and how hard it hit them financially with regards to supporting their kids needs. On top of that, you didn't even post about your WW on CV but only him which is pretty unfair.


Wait, the dude was a lawyer and a liar and a cheat that went after someone else's wife. He had no moral integrity, and all lawyer jokes aside, moral integrity is still a requirement to work as a lawyer.


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## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

hookares said:


> If this guy is her first she's cheated with and you are already splitting, what the point? If she has a track record like myex with pulling trains, everybody except YOU already know she's a tramp even if you didn't. Cheaters cheat and I wouldn't offer one even a cup of coffee if I was aware of their past. I'm not concerned with their past sex life, but if it includes cheating, she's breathing somebody else's air.


My W cheated on and left her first H. She cheated on and left her second H (me). I found out later she cheated on me (had sex a few times with another man) during the long distance stage of our relationship in retaliation to when I kissed a girl one night. People should know what they are dealing with. A person who is not trustworthy and has a gross sense of entitlement. 

The OM was married with no kids. Before his marriage, he had an affair with a married woman. During his M he had a three-year affair but his wife took him back. He later cheated on her again, this time with my STBXW. 

I would like anyone doing a name search on either the OM or my STBXW to come up with a CV listing. I would like their reputations to suffer.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

sharkeey said:


> Exactly.
> 
> It's not bravado and it's not justice to post something on an internet website about someone that can get very ugly, very quickly. It's just revenge, no matter how you try to justify it.
> 
> ...


What is your problem with revenge? Our entire justice system, if you can still call it that, is based on meteing out retribution for wrongs done.


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## Calibre12 (Nov 27, 2012)

Jasel said:


> Don't know if you can be sued. It does come down to what they can prove if they could. If you do it just don't do it from your house or any computer you own or where you work, etc if you want to be on the safe side.


I was threatened with lawsuit for harassment by OW, two years prior to posting on cheaterville, when she least expected it. I figured, you want to sue me....well BRING it!! Unlike her, I say what I mean and I mean what I say. I refuse to be intimidated by a low life scum. Its not part of my genetic make-up. I ask for a cookie, I dont get caught with my hand in the jar then say "it wasnt me." She thought she could head me off at the pass the very first DD by calling foul and threatening legal action. Well there was no greater admission of guilt than that. No no no you don't weasel your way into mine and my children's lives with no consequences. Cheaterville is designed trashily to expose trash. Husband and I remarried, sue me, I want to see which side of the courtroom he will sit on.


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## theroad (Feb 20, 2012)

SomedayDig said:


> By the way..unless anyone missed it, I firmly admitted that this was retribution. I make no bones or false pretense of that. I made that mother f'er pay.
> 
> What's wrong with that?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


When an affair happens exposure is required.

You as a BH did what was required of you.

Everything that is done has consequences.

This includes OM's decision to have an affair with a WW that had the wrong BH.

Exposure is not about revenge though one of the consequences of exposure is the byproduct of revenge.

Nothing wrong with enjoying a little byproduct.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

3putt said:


> I don't know your story, but if exposure isn't done in a timely fashion, then it more often than not comes off as just being vindictive and extremely counter-productive. Typically, it justifies what the WS has been claiming all along, and the friends and family usually agree.
> 
> You see, this is what I freaking hate about divorce lawyers. They have no interest in saving marriages whatsoever. They have no real paycheck coming with that ending. They are the LAST people you should take advice from if your intention is a possible reconciliation.
> 
> ...


With all due respect *3putt*, I see where it is that you're coming from and understand your rationale. If you have read my story, you will see my STBXW's sordid tale of lying, deception, and half-truth's. She still doesn't have a clue that I know the vaguest thing about her trysts~ hell, I didn't even know anything about them until well into our separation until cell phone call/text records indicated otherwise.

I came to love her family as much as my very own, and they seemed to convey that love right back to me. Those are the people who are being greatly deceived by her smokescreen, and it is by releasing a copy of these third party unbiased records to them that will prove her, not only to be a cheater, but a liar as well.

My whole initiative in releasing these documents/photos involving her is solely to make sure that they know the truth.
Seeing it with their own eyes is one thing; coming to believe it, as her family, is something altogether different.

But the truth would be there for their consideration~ how they react to it is totally up to them. They either have the option to believe the _prima facie_ truth, or they can choose to be foolishly deceived by their own "blood" and continue to live with blinders on.

And whereas "blood may well be thicker than water," at least this will give them an element of choice! What they choose to do with that is totally their own business!


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## martyc47 (Oct 20, 2011)

A lot of cheaters get-off on the power position and humiliation of the BS by cheating on them, destroying their families, and getting away with it while laughing about it. Then these people are rewarded by society.

I picture just about every PoSOM as a smug looking a-hole sitting around saying " Yeah, I F-ed your wife, Bro. What are you going to do about it? Ha Ha!"

You think I care what happens to that guy?

Cheating is rewarded/incentivized, both for the cheating spouse and the partner/enablers. Behavior that is rewarded will increase. I don't see a problem with adding balancing consequences to the equation.

If you are a BS worrying about how others are perceiving you, they are ALREADY doing that. If people are going to think what they will anyway, I'd at least make them add a qualifier to their descriptions of me- by letting them know I'm not someone who's going to take things lying down and being accepting of humiliation.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

As long as the action doesn't negatively affect you, your children and your integrity, sure. 

I exposed in more than one way, and did not feel bad about it. Still don't. But cheaterville simply was not beneficial in my case.


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