# ruined everything?



## newboy123 (Jun 1, 2014)

Hello I would like your opinion.

I have lied non stop for 3 years to my partner. I seen how this has upset her but I always ignored it. I always justified it by being helpful around the house

It started with porn. She found out and was upset. I didnt stop the porn there I just lied more.

I will lie about where I have been and who with. I also lied when I split from my ex wife - was still in love with her after she cheated but I jumped straight into my current relationsiip because it helped me forget about my wife. I commited quickly to my new partner and told her I loved her - this was a lie.

Now three years on and things are falling around me. My girlfriend is talking of leaving. We have 2 kids. She slapped my face for the first time in three years and now she wont let me get close to her or even kiss her- she never rejected me before

The lies have all been about women. I dont want my girl to know about the conversations I have with women I know and work with. I have never been unfaithful but my partner thinks different. She always thinks im hiding stuff from her and says she cannot trust me.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

She thinks you're hiding things from her because you are. She thinks she can't trust you because she can't. 

And yes, you are being unfaithful. I can tell because you're doing things with other women that you have to hide from your partner. 

Just split up, make sure the settlement is amicable, and pay your child support. Then get into therapy for yourself and stay there until you can read your OP and really understand how messed up your approach to relationships is.


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## Miss Independent (Mar 24, 2014)

Didn't you post something similar a few days ago? Rowan is right


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Why did your first marriage break up? Did you lie and cheat on her?

What are you talking about with these women at work? Why has doing this with them been more important with your gf?

I think that you have to accept that this relationship is over. You killed it.


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

Well at least you recognize that you are the problem. What are you going to do about it? I have a couple of ideas:

1. stop the inappropriate interaction with these women and all women in the future.

2. Apologize to you partner and ask her to forgive you for you selfishness, stupidity and childish behavior. 

3. Let her know you are willing to move forward with your relationship however she would prefer and if that is splitting up commit yourself to not being an ahole.

4. Be the best father you can be and be honest with your kids acting in a way for the rest of your life that they can be proud of


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

I'm going to go ahead and work under the assumption that the content of the conversations that you've been having w/ other women has been wholly inappropriate. Given that, along w/ how upset your girlfriend seems to be, I'm going to sort of go out onto the ledge here and say that...

1) ...your opinion of what comprises unfaithfulness is likely very different from that of your girlfriend.
2) ...(based on #1) you have indeed been "unfaithful" to your girlfriend.

ETA: I realize that I've sort of "necroed" this thread, and here's why...

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/215858-slapping.html


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening newboy123
I hate to say it, but you should never be in a relationship with someone who can't tolerate your behavior. You have to either change your behavior, or change your partner.


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