# I want out!



## ladyybyrd (Jan 4, 2011)

I have been considering divorce for about 6 months now. I have been married almost 14 years and I want out. 

I am in a sexless marriage (sex 6 times a year) and I can't do it anymore. There is no passion, no intimacy. He won't even touch me. I am left hanging on by a string. I have talked to him multiple times and nothing ever changes. I don't feel the same way about him that i did 3 years ago. I was so much in love with him then. 

My h has changed towards me and i don't know what i have done. I just want out!

What is the first step I should take. I have no idea where to even start. Thank you for reading.


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

I've seen you post, but don't know your story. Have you done MC? Does he know you will leave over this? Does he even care if you leave? I would try a separation before D and see if that clues him in. Also, MC is MUCH cheaper than 2 rents.


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

If that is strictly what you want, contact a lawyer before doing or saying anything to find out what your rights are, and what you need to do legally so that you are fairly treated during a divorce. For example, a friend of mine was going through a divorce and she wanted to just move out of their house, but her lawyer told her if she did, that would be abandonment and she would lose her part of the house and their pets. You need to know what you should and shouldn't do so you don't get blind-sided during a divorce. Do it right.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

If you feel you are 100% certain you want a divorce, call up an attorney and file. or you can go to your local courthuose and find out what the steps are for filing on your own w/o an attorney.


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## ladyybyrd (Jan 4, 2011)

anx said:


> I've seen you post, but don't know your story. Have you done MC? Does he know you will leave over this? Does he even care if you leave? I would try a separation before D and see if that clues him in. Also, MC is MUCH cheaper than 2 rents.


Haven't tried MC at this point i really don't think it would help. I don't think he cares if I leave, I have told him before the outcome and nothing changes


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## JupitersLament (May 30, 2011)

MC only works if both parties are willing, if one goes in not wanting to make things better it's kind of pointless.


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

lady, I am not sure I agree with Still about contacting a lawyer before saying anything. It depends on your relationship with your H. If it is just about the sex and all other aspects of your marriage have been OK, he will feel betrayed by you if you go behind his back to an attorney. If he is a commen sense type of person, you should discuss the seriousness of your situation first. If you feel like you want to save your marriage and he does too - MC is a must. If one of you are done, then divorce is the route. But, you may find that if you tell him you want to divorce, he will comply with you, although everyone will be hurt - it is a painful process. Then at that point you can decide to see a lawyer; if necessary. I mean, it really depends on how you feel he would react. If he is an abuser, then going to a lawyer first would be important. I am just saying that you need to weigh the options and only you know your H. Believe me though, if he still cares for you, it will do some serious damage if you betray his trust be sneaking to an attorney. Wrigh the options, there are different ways you can go with this depending on your relationship with him.


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