# Funny sex injuries



## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

I am curious since It happened to me yesterday and happened other times in the past. Anybody has good stories to tell?

Yesterday, after giving my W oral for about 15 minutes, about an hour later, the pain in the back of my neck was bad - I am doing better today. I remember another time when my wife hit her head against the bed that we had to stop...it was so funny since we were so horny that ended up falling over onto the floor....


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Bed posts hurt indeed, and even if the whole house has been made baby-proof; drawer corners, tripping over each other doing it on the stairs, injuries after accidently knocking over dishes or appliances off the surfaces, etc etc... bleh!

Funniest thing that ever happened for me personally however was once with my first gf 10 years ago where I elevated her up to the ceiling with her legs wrapped around my head, unfortunately it didn't work out so well as she lost control and support and ended up choking me with her legs while swinging her weight back and forth until we fell - never tried that again.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

^ Ah, now you reminded me lol

Not to mention the dreaded shower and the painful slips
I still have yet to order those supports you mentioned


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

So far I've got 2 books (and another 2 in question) and shower supports already on my online shopping cart lol


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## reachingshore (Jun 10, 2010)

This is fairly recent. Because of this weird (but FANTASTIC!) acrobatic sex position, where my own weight was fully supported by my neck, I fully expected to have a major neck pain the next day. Turned out, neck wasn't as big a problem as my legs! Neck ache went away after 12h, but I had a problem walking normally for the next 3 days LOL

I think the funniest (and the scariest at the same time) sex injury is Vaginal lock or Penis Captivus. Apparently it happens (very rare though) LOL


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

My husband hurt his knees the first night he ****ed me! 

Can't forget that.


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## Joanie (Oct 24, 2010)

Thought we would spice things up so we bought a sex swing.
Could not wait to get it home and try it out. First I get in to it and we play around a bit. Next we decide to try a position shown on the video that came with the swing. The man is sitting in the swing and the woman sits on top of him facing him. Not two seconds after I get on top of him, the weight of the two of us was too much (turns out he did not secure the swing into a stud) the damn thing comes crashing down. The 
40 pound triangular bar comes crashing down on my head and knocks me out!!!!!! I came to...had a huge goose egg on my head. So, I go to lay down for a bit and he calls me back in to the room to tell me he is now SURE that the damn thing is secured properly. I cannot believe he wants me to get on that damn thing again! I did.....hated it ....and we NEVER use it!


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

RandomDude said:


> Bed posts hurt indeed, and even if the whole house has been made baby-proof; drawer corners, tripping over each other doing it on the stairs, injuries after accidently knocking over dishes or appliances off the surfaces, etc etc... bleh!
> 
> Funniest thing that ever happened for me personally however was once with my first gf 10 years ago where I elevated her up to the ceiling with her legs wrapped around my head, unfortunately it didn't work out so well as she lost control and support and ended up choking me with her legs while swinging her weight back and forth until we fell - never tried that again.


:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

Star said:


> Haha, I nearly knocked myself out once where I have hit my head so hard against the closet.
> 
> Then there are carpet burns that have lasted days and I mean days!
> 
> ...


I love my W down there....and after a while the neck can hurt since you are so horney that nothing matters at that moment...and after you neck hurts...so next time I will try another position where the neck does not suffer too much!


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Star said:


> Haha, I nearly knocked myself out once where I have hit my head so hard against the closet.


How are you hitting your head against the closet???


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

I had a mysterious stress fracture in my foot several years ago. 

To this date the only thing that makes any sense was that my wife had given me a bj the night before - and I think I curled my toes so hard that I broke my own foot!


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## reachingshore (Jun 10, 2010)

nice777guy said:


> I had a mysterious stress fracture in my foot several years ago.
> 
> To this date the only thing that makes any sense was that my wife had given me a bj the night before - and I think I curled my toes so hard that I broke my own foot!


:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

nice777guy said:


> I had a mysterious stress fracture in my foot several years ago.
> 
> To this date the only thing that makes any sense was that my wife had given me a bj the night before - and I think I curled my toes so hard that I broke my own foot!


:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

I "think" that's what happened. I just remember having GOOD sex the night before it started hurting. 

Then - about a week later when it was feeling better - we were having sex and I noticed the pain flaired up and realized how much my toes were curling!

That's my story - and I'm sticking to it!


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Star said:


> Haha, as not to go into too much detail here, H thrusted a little to hard and I lost balance and went flying head first into the closet door.


Gotcha. Didn't think your bed would be butted right up against the closet door, but had to ask!


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

Not an injury, but a potentially embarrassing scare.

I'll just say it involved a lost grape, a lot of poking around, several orgasms on her part and almost a trip to the hospital.


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## Michelle27 (Nov 8, 2010)

Chris Taylor said:


> Not an injury, but a potentially embarrassing scare.
> 
> I'll just say it involved a lost grape, a lot of poking around, several orgasms on her part and almost a trip to the hospital.


LOL I had a scare like this involving a contraceptive sponge...I couldn't find it no matter what bizarre position I tried and neither could my partner. I had read about the possibility of toxic shock syndrome if one of them was left in too long, so I was freaking out I'd have to go to the hospital. :rofl:


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## Mrs. In Love..But (Jan 11, 2011)

I was just about to orgasm when I got a BIG BIG charlie house in my leg. That was the end of our session.


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## Draguna (Jan 13, 2011)

Kick in the head while giving oral and once my balls started hurting right as I came. Well enjoyed walking home afterwards :\
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WadeWilson (Jul 4, 2010)

After moving into a new appartment ( again )...
We decided to go for a... How would you say..? 
Hard 'n' fast action... The problem... We were on an
Air mattress... And it did not hold up... In the throws
Of passion it started decreasing... About oh say
Climax time... I was going for the thrust when....
WHAM!!! Smashed my knee straight to the floor...
I bit down in agony... That sent my wife to edge...
Not soon after I finished... Told my wife what happened
And she had a laugh at my expense... And one of those
Chris Rock/Lewis Black comedy show laughs...
But it was funny after the fact... Or it could have been
That ticklish spot in my knee still throbbing... I dunno...


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## Smoothie (Mar 3, 2011)

Haha, these are great too - Sex Injuries


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

In college my GF's dad caught us and he threw me off the pool table. Does that count?


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

There was a guy here a while back who got caught with his gf by his father and blurted out that they were NOT having sex and that he was checking for ringworm. Dude lived in Texas and the father had weapons. How he is alive today is beyond me. They are married now with 4 kids.


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

I've had three or four sex headaches and just a few days ago, I got cramps in my calves that were so tight, I could barely walk for the rest of the day.


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## 4sure (Aug 8, 2010)

Over the years I've made several trips to the chiropractor for hip problems.

He was carrying me romantic like to the bed and ran me into the door frame.

One time he had a nosebleed while on top of me.


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## hubby (Aug 10, 2009)

Blew out my meniscus (had torn it a few years earlier). Could not walk for a day and had surgery to have it removed. Then six weeks in physical therapy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Are you people all like 100? I kid, I kid. The only sex injury I've sustained was with a former bf. We were on a bunkbed (bad move), got too close to the edge, tried to right ourselves and both fell off.


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## bluesky (Jan 29, 2011)

During robust sex, i fell off the bed and bashed my head on the stair master pedal.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

She got her head stuck under steering wheel once. I almost hit a deer.


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## Smackdown (Feb 21, 2011)

We had a little game when we were 18 & 22, we'd run for the bed, last one there had to suck the other one, while flying thru the air in an attempt to jump ahead of her, her elbow landed on my nose, it broke and is still tittywampus to this day. I have for years told the tale of her breaking me nose, I leave out the running, the sucking, and jumping part so it comes out as "yea well she broke my nose, look, ask her about it sometime."


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## SunShineLady01 (Mar 4, 2011)

All the posts are more than funny :lol:. I was killing myself laughing :rofl:.
Well, let me share my story, Me and hubby returning home from visiting my in-laws. (Please note that we live in the country.)
Anyway, feeling a lot horny and not able to wait until we get home, we detour into a wooded area. I also take a throw with me when traveling to snuggle under. (Please note, it's dust dark, still able to see pretty good). Anyway, we spread the throw on the ground; unaware that we are laying in a bed of Poison Ivy; making love.
Needless to say, everyone was curious as to how we both got a case of Poison Ivy, we were covered from head to toe. :scratchhead:


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## castingabout (Mar 22, 2011)

I once slipped out while thrusting and jammed my penis straight into the end of her fingernail. Bleeding from that area is an immediate cause for concern, but it only slowed me down for a second.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

MGirl said:


> When I finally got one of my first sex toys last year I was pretty excited to try it out and gave it shot while my husband was at work. It was a bit better than I expected and I was a little light-headed afterward and kind of fell off the bed. As soon as my foot hit the ground I heard the loudest *CRACK* ever and my foot went limp and just hung there.
> 
> I almost passed out from pain and suddenly realized I was laying on the ground, naked, with sex toy in hand, and I may have to call an ambulance. I panicked and managed to get myself dressed and sex toy in hiding before calling a friend to pick me up and take me to the hospital.
> 
> ...


That is freaking hilarious!!!!!! :rofl::rofl:

Mine isn't an "injury" per se but a nearly avoided major trauma. Hubby and I are DIY'ers and we had recently taken down our old ceiling fan in our bedroom and installed a new one. The ceiling fan was very heavy to hold while hubby was hooking up the wires and eventually bolting it in. He noticed I was getting tired and said "It's hooked up". We turn it on high and all is well. A week later it is wobbling a bit and we put "fixing it" on our weekend to do list.
That Friday night we are getting all hot and heavy in the bed, ceiling fan on high. It suddenly drops. At this point it is flying around the room and is only being held up by thin electrical wires. Hubby leaps up and turns off the switch. 
Had I been in a reverse cowgirl position, I would have gotten a whack to the back of my head Anne Boleyn style. Scary to think about then but pretty funny now.


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