# My fiance totally dislikes my 18yr old son.



## Joasie (Sep 8, 2010)

I've been with my fiance for 6 years now (2yrs engaged).
When we met I was a widow with 3 children ages 19, 17 
and 12. 
He himself had children but 1 was alleged, one was not born yet and the other ones lived with their mother(s). A total hot mess!
Anyway, we fell in love with each other despite the baby mama drama. He was a different guy to me. Very funny, loving, charismatic, outgoing and a very hard worker.
The big problem with him was his dislike for my youngest son. I think its because he was the baby and was spoiled by me and my mom. I mean I lost his father (my late husband) and I felt like I didnt want to lose him either. 
My kids and I are very close, we spent every weekend just going to movies, dinners, parties...just spending a lot of time together. 
Here comes a new man in the house and I believe the youngest wasnt too happy about it.
As years passed on, my son kept getting in trouble in school constantly. I'd put him on punishments, take away items that he liked, he was not allowed outside play time. And I mean this went on for awhile. But all the while I dilligently kept talking to him, took him to counseling, had him in youth programs, every and anything I could think of to help him.
The biggest thing came about when he started smoking weed. I then found out that my fiance was smoking with him. As soon as I found out I was pissed! I told him to never do it again, but he did..time and time again. Mind you my son was only 16 at the time. 
It got so bad at home, there would be physical altercations between the two of them. My fiance would discipline him when he got in trouble in school, but my son has lost all respect for him now. I mean, how can you respect someone that would smoke weed with you and your'e an adult? He sees him as a peer, not an adult.
My son has graduated HS and will be going to college in January. He is about to become the manager at a fast food restaurant. He's a good kid but just made a few bad mistakes. My fiance never lets him forget about all the bad things he's done in the past. My son has a girlfriend that he spends all of his free time with. He complains about that, he complains that he doesnt want to see them in the livingroon watching tv when he comes home, so I put cable in his room now so that they can be out of the way, he complains that they are in the bedroom too much...I dont know what to do!
My son has a curfew of 8pm because he is on probation from something stupid he did last year. He stayed out past curfew and my fiance hit the ceiling!! He constantly says that my son keeps messing up! I dont see it like that. He is 18, made mistakes, paying for it (and I do mean paying restitution), works, has a diploma, keeps his room clean, on target for college and makes his own decisions. If he knows that staying out past curfew could land him in jail, and he chooses to do so to spend time with his girlfriend, well thats his choice. I cant blame myself for that, which my fiance constantly does. There is so much more that I can go on about....
Honestly- I beleive that my fiance was not shown any love as a child. Both his parents were drug addicts so he had to work at the age of 12 to buy food and pampers for his little sisters. Its so unfortunate. I believe that although my son was not the best when he was younger, we still showed him love no matter what. It was all unconditional.
My fiance does not know what it feels to have that. I notice that whenever his children need disciplining, he does and says nothing to them. I just don't get it.


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