# I can make her squirt but havent gave her an orgasm through intercourse



## RealRadio (Jun 20, 2021)

Ok so I'm 25 I've been with my soon to be wife for about 3 years 
We have both attained most of our sexual competence from each other 
She has told me I have taken her places sexually that no man has ever 
Admittedly that helps me to keep trying 
The problem Im having is I can't help her orgasm from penetration 
I can make her squirt so far and when giving her head I can give her an orgasm 
The disappointment I feel about my self makes me question If I will ever be able to satisfy her deeply 
Im starting to not want to have sex with her because It keeps ending the same way 
She starts to get closer to climax and then nothing happens. 
I just don't know if I can be with someone forever and not be able to give her an orgasm with my Johnson. As a man I feel that I need to provide. Is there anyone who ha dealt with the same problem in their relationship and have over come it?


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

I get why this bothers you, I really do. If she can't get off via penetration, there might not be anything you can do about that. According to what people say online, that seems to be pretty common too. I guess I have just been lucky since I haven't had to really deal with this. Since it is common, just keep in mind that if you walk away from her, your next lady might be the same. Just something to consider.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Quite a few women cant orgasm this way, please don't worry. As long as she orgasms other ways don't let it be an issue.
We are all different.
If you are soon to be married you clearly love her, so even thinking of leaving for this seems crazy.


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## RealRadio (Jun 20, 2021)

Your right. Stepping into something new doesn't guarantee that I won't have to deal with the same feelings. I don't see my self leaving her over sex. Yet In the same breath I don't know how to get out of my own head when it comes to the topic 
Thanks for the advice


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## RealRadio (Jun 20, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> Quite a few women cant orgasm this way, please don't worry. As long as she orgasms other ways don't let it be an issue.
> We are all different.
> If you are soon to be married you clearly love her, so even thinking of leaving for this seems crazy.


Yes it honestly would be crazy to leave her 
I guess what I'm hearing you tell me is that I have to learn to accept that she may not be able to orgasm through intercourse and that giving her other types of orgasms is enough. 
As a woman would you say based off of experience and or shared experience that it could cause resentment? Not being able to feel a vaginal orgasm


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

RealRadio said:


> Yes it honestly would be crazy to leave her
> I guess what I'm hearing you tell me is that I have to learn to accept that she may not be able to orgasm through intercourse and that giving her other types of orgasms is enough.
> As a woman would you say based off of experience and or shared experience that it could cause resentment? Not being able to feel a vaginal orgasm


What dies she day about it? It may just be you who is worried. It certainly wouldn't worry me.


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## RealRadio (Jun 20, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> What dies she day about it? It may just be you who is worried. It certainly wouldn't worry me.


Well she says that. It isn't what makes the experience. That's it not her focus, rather intimacy and connection. I honestly agree and feel that it is more important than vginal orgasm yet when I was able to make her squirt from penetration. It was obvious that it excited her and that though it may not be her focus she still may have an internal hierarchy for pleasure


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## jjj858 (Jun 18, 2021)

Not sure what technique you’re using. But try missionary and make sure your pelvis is in direct contact with her clit. Direct more of your body weight there as you go in and out. My wife doesn’t get off from other positions like on top or doggystyle where I’m just going in and out with little to no clitoral stimulation. But she gets off multiple times in a row when I do what I mentioned above during missionary. I can feel her focus shift as she starts to tense up and then I go harder and she cums and it’s always amazing. I just pay attention to her cues. She told me she never got off with anyone else before. I told her that was hard to believe but she said it’s true and that a lot of girls have that issue.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

RealRadio said:


> Well she says that. It isn't what makes the experience. That's it not her focus, rather intimacy and connection. I honestly agree and feel that it is more important than vginal orgasm yet when I was able to make her squirt from penetration. It was obvious that it excited her and that though it may not be her focus she still may have an internal hierarchy for pleasure


It sounds like she enjoys what you do so please don't worry. We are all built differently and some women cant orgasm that way no matter what you do. There are so many different aspects to good sex, this is just one of them.
There is nothing wrong with you except maybe having wrong expectations of what 'should' happen. L


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

RealRadio said:


> _*Yes it honestly would be crazy to leave her
> I guess what I'm hearing you tell me is that I have to learn to accept that she may not be able to orgasm through intercourse and that giving her other types of orgasms is enough.*_
> *As a woman would you say based off of experience and or shared experience that it could cause resentment? Not being able to feel a vaginal orgasm*


Someone's been watching too much porn - a sex 'education' from porn is not an education at ALL and you're proof of it (but it's kind of expected at your age). In porn, women pretend to have vaginal orgasms simply from those stud-muffins pounding away on them. 🤣🤣🤣 They don't want anything more than 14 generous seconds of foreplay, they have no problem being rammed from every single angle, and when the AstroGlide starts to wear off, they're completely fine with the guy spitting on their ravaged genitals (because lubrication sure ain't going to happen naturally 😂😂). Of course, the fake screaming and fake orgasms are laughable, as well.

OP, do some homework. You have all these ridiculous expectations you probably got on PornHub or some stupid movie and it's just not realistic. Do some ACTUAL homework about how women's bodies work - and make sure that homework doesn't involve a guy delivering pizza to two naked women in a hot tub. Jeez.


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

RealRadio said:


> Well she says that. It isn't what makes the experience. That's it not her focus, rather intimacy and connection.


Then, let that be the end of it......before you do continuous and permanent damage to your relationship by dwelling on this.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

RealRadio said:


> Well she says that. It isn't what makes the experience. That's it not her focus, rather intimacy and connection. I honestly agree and feel that it is more important than vginal orgasm yet when I was able to make her squirt from penetration. It was obvious that it excited her and that though it may not be her focus she still may have an internal hierarchy for pleasure


Just keep researching positions and youtube blogs about what helps women in her situation. One that has alot if clitotial stimulation, wife and i call it "Getting in her pocket". She lays on her back legs strait, i straddle her on my hands and knees. I control how firm tge pressure by thrusting and rocking back and forth for deeper penetration.


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## Chaotic (Jul 6, 2013)

Welcome to real life, where lots of women don't orgasm from penetration. LOTS. As long as you're giving her great o's in other ways, I wouldn't worry about it. 

I don't come from penetration alone and if my bf got hung up on that the way you're getting hung up on it, frankly I would eventually start getting nervous and uncomfortable about sex, and that would suck for both of us.


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## BlueWoman (Jan 8, 2015)

I also don’t orgasm from penetration, and in fact. I find my clitoral orgasm are less intense when I have something in my vagina. I love penetration, but I have not once had a vaginal orgasm, and I doubt I ever will. And I don’t care if I ever do, just as long as I do have them.


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

RR,

Just a thought, there are likely multi-millionaires out their who are loyal to their wives, but their wives have dried up for them and they would give a million dollars to get their wife wet or squirt again.

Count your blessings.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Most women can't orgasm from penetration. I can, but only if I've already had one, don't know why though lol. 

If you would seriously consider leaving her over this, you need your head read mate.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

frusdil said:


> If you would seriously consider leaving her over this, you need your head read mate.


Wouldn't it just be a matter of sexual compatibility? Do you think people should stay with someone they aren't sexually compatible with?


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## Chaotic (Jul 6, 2013)

People can end relationships for whatever reasons they want, but OP should be aware that he would be ending the relationship over something that is fairly normal and just the way some women's bodies work. It would be like dumping an otherwise good partner because she's not multiply orgasmic. I guess it's all a matter of priorities though.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Enigma32 said:


> Wouldn't it just be a matter of sexual compatibility? Do you think people should stay with someone they aren't sexually compatible with?


I don't see this as being incompatible at all. It's in his mind only that he ' should' be able to achieve this, that's all.
I don't see any incompatibility.


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## romantic_dreamer (Jun 15, 2021)

It is very personal matter and only you can decide if this is a blocker for you or not.

I personally would have hard time accepting the fact I cannot bring my wife to orgasm. But this is because for me my wife's orgasm is most important goal and enjoyment in our sex life, more important then my own orgasm. However, for 99% of men and women it is not an issue, especially since your future wife does not seem to have a problem with it.

Two facts can reinforce you this may not be a deal breaker. First, I read somewhere that only third of women can achieve orgasm from intercourse, so your wife is not an exception, she is majority. Second, maybe most important is that it is not you, it just her physiology. Not only you but probably nobody can give her an orgasm with intercourse. 

You may try different position if you have not done this so far. I heard doggy style provides the most intense clitoris stimulation. You can also try to stimulate your wife's clit during intercourse or ask her to do this.

We all need to accept that certain things cannot be changed. This applies to both present, past and future, and each person can decide if the facts as they are deal breakers for him or her and will prevent him or her from being truly happy.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

RealRadio said:


> Well she says that. It isn't what makes the experience. That's it not her focus, rather intimacy and connection.


The female drive to orgasm ≠ to the male drive to orgasm. The male experience is all about testosterone. Females have varying levels testosterone as well but experience most sexual pleasure driven by a much different combination of hormones and chemistry. This becomes interesting when you read about how transgendered individuals experience sexuality upon altering their body chemistry. Males using female hormones describe that they no longer feel a strong need to orgasm but enjoy the dynamics of endless pleasure. Females using male hormones describe the experience as OMFG and describe sometimes feeling remorse towards the way they historically treated men that desired them as a female as they previously had no idea of what males experience. 

So in general a female sexual desire is driven by a strong emotional need to bond. Meanwhile the male sexual desire is driven by a strong physical need to procreate. Both assume each is just like the other and worry when emotional or physical satisfaction seems missing from one point of view.


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## Twodecades (Apr 4, 2021)

I think you should adjust your "sexpectations" before you ruin a good thing.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

BlueWoman said:


> I find my clitoral orgasm are less intense when I have something in my vagina.


I find that interesting as my wife is the opposite. The interesting part being just how vastly different we can be physically and also how different we all can be in regards to what turns us on/off mentally.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Mr.Married said:


> I find that interesting as my wife is the opposite. The interesting part being just how vastly different we can be physically and also how different we all can be in regards to what turns us on/off mentally.


Same with mine. She wants the D part of it and I don’t think it’s just her being nice based on how hard she is coming back before she climaxes. Which is great by the way.

If she’s on top she can have one without using anything else but she’s just rubbing on my pelvis in that case and it’s still clitoral. Doesn’t matter to me at all as long as it she wants to have one she gets one!


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## Beach123 (Dec 6, 2017)

RealRadio said:


> Your right. Stepping into something new doesn't guarantee that I won't have to deal with the same feelings. I don't see my self leaving her over sex. Yet In the same breath I don't know how to get out of my own head when it comes to the topic
> Thanks for the advice


Go see a therapist about your ego issue.
If a gal can’t get there from penetration it shouldn’t be all on you. Some women never orgasm from penetration.
Some women never orgasm EVER.

your bruised ego is in the way… get over it.


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## BlueWoman (Jan 8, 2015)

Mr.Married said:


> I find that interesting as my wife is the opposite. The interesting part being just how vastly different we can be physically and also how different we all can be in regards to what turns us on/off mentally.





ccpowerslave said:


> Same with mine. She wants the D part of it and I don’t think it’s just her being nice based on how hard she is coming back before she climaxes. Which is great by the way.
> 
> If she’s on top she can have one without using anything else but she’s just rubbing on my pelvis in that case and it’s still clitoral. Doesn’t matter to me at all as long as it she wants to have one she gets one!


I like the D part as well, but it's a completely different type of orgasm, and not as intense. But I also really enjoy the feel of PIV without ever needing to have an orgasm. (Don't get me wrong, I will never turn down an orgasm, but sometimes a quicky where he just comes is just mentally hot.) 

And then there is that feeling when you are feeling really close to your partner and PIV just makes you feel so emotionally good. I don't know what it's like for other people, but sex for me meets a whole lot of different needs, both emotionally and physically, and I don't always need or even want a mind-blowing orgasm.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> I don't see this as being incompatible at all. It's in his mind only that he ' should' be able to achieve this, that's all.
> I don't see any incompatibility.


Except that it isn't just a figment of his imagination because plenty of ladies CAN experience orgasm via penetration alone. If that is what he wants, he is entitled to his preferences just like anyone else. He isn't married yet.


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## RealRadio (Jun 20, 2021)

TAMAT said:


> RR,
> 
> Just a thought, there are likely multi-millionaires out their who are loyal to their wives, but their wives have dried up for them and they would give a million dollars to get their wife wet or squirt again.
> 
> Count your blessings.


That's an interesting concept my friend I really appreciate all the great feed back about the topic 
This us truly helping in a great way


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## Chaotic (Jul 6, 2013)

Enigma32 said:


> Except that it isn't just a figment of his imagination because plenty of ladies CAN experience orgasm via penetration alone. If that is what he wants, he is entitled to his preferences just like anyone else. He isn't married yet.


Absolutely, if OP feels that giving his partner vaginal orgasms from penetration alone is a requirement for his sexual happiness, then he should think about ending this relationship.

It's just that in his initial post, he says they're engaged, implying they love each other and want a life together, and it sounds like they're having great sex otherwise and he's giving her orgasms in other ways. So ...to end an otherwise good relationship just because she doesn't orgasm in the specific way he wants her to seems strange and possibly short-sighted. But to each their own. 🤷

To the OP: if you haven't done this already, maybe try a position where you're doing her from behind and then reach up and play with her clit at the same time. It won't be a "penetration alone" orgasm, but in my experience it's definitely fireworks.


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## RealRadio (Jun 20, 2021)

Chaotic said:


> Absolutely, if OP feels that giving his partner vaginal orgasms from penetration alone is a requirement for his sexual happiness, then he should think about ending this relationship.
> 
> It's just that in his initial post, he says they're engaged, implying they love each other and want a life together, and it sounds like they're having great sex otherwise and he's giving her orgasms in other ways. So ...to end an otherwise good relationship just because she doesn't orgasm in the specific way he wants her to seems strange and possibly short-sighted. But to each their own. 🤷
> 
> To the OP: if you haven't done this already, maybe try a position where you're doing her from behind and then reach up and play with her clit at the same time. It won't be a "penetration alone" orgasm, but in my experience it's definitely fireworks.


Yeah when I really think about I love her to much to leave. Just for not being able to help her reach piv orgasm. I don't feel like it's my inadequacy of any more. I will try to reach over during doggy style or have her play with her clit 

Honestly I do feel like I need a woman to have penetration orgasms in order to be happy with our sex life 
But based on the comments so far I can see how that type of thinking may stem from societal influence and my own ego . Plus she has never experienced one. If she had in the past and then with me she couldn't anymore that's a whole different story 

Every one in this conversation has really helped me open up my mind and stopped me from being so hard on my self and hurting my relationship with this women 
Sincerely appreciate everyone 
I'm going to keep trying with our sex life vibrators and different positions. If it turns out she actually can't have penetrative orgasms then I will suck it up and keep loving her. An know that nothing is wrong with either of us.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

have you tried starting off with NON PIV sex first. full body massage, take your time. then work on her breasts and nipples. then masage her ***** with the breasts too. then when she is close to climaxing, only THEN insert your penis and really ravage her with it. That might get her over that hump


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## GooGooCluster (Mar 17, 2021)

There is a book written about female sexuality/orgasms. The writer looked at somewhere around 40 studies of women over two decades, and concluded that only 25% of them have orgasms with only penetration. Porn has both men and women thinking something is wrong if women aren’t screaming and moaning during intercourse. Those women are paid to do that. There’s nothing wrong with your girlfriend, and more importantly nothing wrong with you. At all.


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