# i think my husband still has unfinished business with his ex



## hurting2013 (Apr 4, 2013)

I am married for 6 months now. Our relationship before we tied the knot was long distanced so i did not have any idea that he still had relationship with this woman even when we were already dating. All i knew was that they were separated a year before we met,and that they lived in together for 6 years along with his step-daughter.I discovered about their still ongoing relationship when i saw the messages on his facebook. I was so shocked when i read the recent messages that this woman was hurting and his 8 year-old stepdaughter was cursing me as a ¨demon bride¨ for destroying their relationship.My heart was really crushed but i did not fight with him. Instead,i asked him about them and he said his ex and his stepdaughter are living in another city now and i dont have to worry because they have not seen each other for more than a year already after they broke up and his ex was just inventing stories. I tried to believe him but i saw their pictures again on a birthday party of his nephew 6 months before we got married.I ask him again about that but he said his ex was just invited because his relatives treat her as a family already since they lived in for long.Then he reassured me again not to worry and to just trust him.Last Christmas he received a call from someone,obviously the caller was not ordinary one because he really had to go to the kitchen and talked for almost an hour,his face was so happy and i even heard him saying kisses.After that call he kept on embracing me saying he loves me so much but i was already doubting that time. I asked him who it was and he said his friend.But as the days passed,i notice d that he kept on calling that number everyday coz it was registered on his phone.maybe he noticed that i checked his phone he began to hide his phone and deleted that number after he called. I confronted him about that,until he told me that it was his stepdaughter he has been calling almost everyday. And he has been hiding from me because ill get jealous. I told him if i only knew that it was his ex-stepdaughter there would be no problem.But the issue is after that he still keep on hiding his phone. I think its not the child he is talking about but the mom. I discovered too through a message that he would give them money monthly.I may sound selfish but why does he still have to support them?I really dont understand...why does he still have to get in touch with them,as far as im concerned,he has no responsibility to them,and the child is not even his biogical daughter.im so confused and im really hurting...


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Children need their parent even if it's a step father or mother that has separated. With him giving her monthly money, this could be due to alimony whether it's decided out of court or not. This monthly payment does not last forever and every circumstance is different. I do think it is great he stays in the child's life, but not his ex w's life. He should of severed those ties before he married you. He should be in the child's life only for the child and not using this child as a way to get to his ex.

If he's calling everyday and hiding the fact he's calling, then I also think that your h still has feelings for his ex w. it sounds like she has feelings for him to. Trust your instinct. 

I'm really sorry you are here and going through this.


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## hurting2013 (Apr 4, 2013)

Thats the problem coz if its really the child he is calling everyday why would he delete the number immediately and why would he hide the phone.i already told him its ok with me if he talks to his ex-stepdaughter coz i know he misses her.but even if he already told me about it he still continue hiding and deleting. He told me before that his ex-gf didnt accept the fact that he wanted to break up with her.His ex-gf wanted them to get married before but he turned her down.thats why i cant get why he would still contact them.I reallyl feel he still loves them and i feel im just a rebound and a trash.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

If it really was the child he was speaking with every day, then he WOULDN'T hide it. He is not through with his ex yet.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

She and the child are still part of his life. In a big way, apparently.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

I thought he was married to her, sorry.

There is absolutely no reason for him to give her money monthly, I take that back. They were not married. I assumed since you said stepdaughter.

I would do some more investigating and maybe putting a VAR in his car under his seat if you can. Then you'll know if he's talking to the child or the ex.


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