# Midlife crisis husband



## lucyinthesky (Aug 8, 2013)

My husband and I have known each other 40 years we were married very young I was 19 and pregnant he was 28. Right after we got married he was in trouble(was with a motorcycle gang) and went to prison I waited for him 5 years on the 6th year left him and remarried he got out of prison the following year. On the 9th year we both were very un happy and divorced are spouses and got back together. My husband was by all definition a changed man. He never committed another crime again, and was a pretty good husband. He promised me he would never let me down again, and he didn't, until his midlife crisis occurred and I never saw it coming 25 years later. My son from my previous marriage died at the age of 28 in 2011, car accident 2005 and than came drug addiction. The marriage had been not so good for 5 years but I knew we always loved each other and could make it through anything. Than my husband went in for back surgery 6 months after the death of my son and the Dr took all this pain away, he came home from the hospital declared he was moving out. I was devastated we had a fight and that lead up to it. I also had custody of my son's daughter and now he knew it would be till she was 18, we thought it would be temporary now it was permanent, she has no Mother either. He told my Mother I put up with so much crap from those kids knowing someday it would be my turn and I would have her to myself, now that will never happen. My husband cried told me he was sorry and wanted to die, went and saw a therapist who told him he was having a MLC, and I thought really at age 66. But here's were it gets so strange, he loved me forever bought be a Karet diamond 6 months earlier and now he is telling me everything is my fault, the whole marriage, and I did this to him years ago(left him)trying to justify what he was doing, said it was not another woman that was some what true at the time, now I know he wanted one and eventually put himself on Match even though he wasn't divorced. He called me all sorts of bad names something he would of never done ever ever. Said he felt empty inside and had nothing left to give. Said I never trusted him my family never liked him anyway especially my Mother, which was not true my Mother called him all the time when he was sick. He had fight with our biological son over all of this and said he was moving to Puerto Rico, of course he never did. I called and wrote letters to his Doctors telling them he loved me and my granddaughter he would of never of done this to us, something is wrong with him and they asked him to come in for a appointment, he refused. I thought maybe after the surgery something happen to his brain. He even took me to see his Physiatrist after my son died because he was so worried about me, he had been seeing her for PTSD he said he had from the service, I saw it more as a scam that he was doing to get more money from the V.A. So I eventually moved out of the house to another state so I would be near family and get help with my granddaughter. When I would talk to him about divorce he would hang up on me. I eventually had a nervous breakdown, my family helped put me back together. And my precious granddaughter survived it all too, I have legal custody of her. But I finally realized that I was in so much pain because I wasn't moving forward, I finally had the courage to file for divorce, omg a second time it was so hard I wanted him to do it since he was the one who left, but he wouldn't. Once I filed my life started to turn around and get better. Husband called my Mother crying when I served him, but said he couldn't change things. He signed the papers and we are final in 20 more days, its been 1 whole year. I had never heard of MLC at such a older age, but when I started doing research on the subject they said people that are prone to MLC usually have had some issues in the past and I realized that was him 40 years ago. He had mental coping problems even back when he was younger and made bad decisions. He basically is a good man, just emotionally weak, I did a lot in the marriage he should of been doing, but I just did what he didn't want to do and now I have been called a control freak. I lost my son and husband all in less than 1 year. For the record: when I left my second husband my son who died, his father, it was because he was a alcoholic drug user, that I was blind to. Gosh it takes so long in life to finally see all your bad decisions. The husband that had the MLC all though went to prison never had drug or alcohol problems, just mental I guess. I survived all this, you will too.
My girlfriend said to me" promise me you wont marry him a 3rd time" and I said "that's a promise I will keep." I am happy now


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