# Disengage



## lovemygirls (Feb 26, 2012)

I came into this just like everyone else. How did I get here? How did I GET here? How did I GET HERE!?!! ME!!? But the wealth, the education, the looks, the right this the right that! Not me! YES YOU. You're no more special than anyone else out there that's going through this. Read it again. That's right, there is nothing special about you or your upbringing or your accomplishments that you should believe that you're any different here and now. 

Why are you here? Because you lost her. Walk away wife? Keep it. She's walked for a reason. If you were always the strong confident man that is all she ever wanted, she'd be there. Money? Is that the real reason? Dig deep and ask yourself if it is. Another man? Why is that? Poor communication? Now we're backtracking thinking of what we could have done, could have said. Keep it. Addictions. Your problem. They all are. Own up to them and be a man. Be the person that got lost in there, some way, some how, face it and grab it by the f*cking horns and address it. 

What are you chasing? You want her and you want your family back. That's great! Really is! But is that the right fight? Is that what you think the issue really is right NOW?!? The issue is the one reading this! Right there, right in front of you, right now, every time you wonder how this can possibly be.

So you sit there thinking.... thinking TOO much...day, night, morning, and all over again, that enough hope and love and all the right moves will get you through this. The only thing that will get you through this is to disengage. If you cannot disengage for 48 hours, you'll never make it through what is most likely to occur if you keep heading down this path. That's right. Because that's the wrong battle you're looking at man. Step back and realize this battle has become more about you and your mind than ANYTHING else at this point. 

Is she engaged the way you are? Even close? Does she go through the hell that you're going through? Is she engaged even to a small fraction of what you are? Is she in tune with what you want, what you're searching for, what you want as the outcome!? The excuses, the inactions, the cold heart that you get get. Please.

We smother them with our love and affection. It's driving your dignity down. You're losing your self-respect. And you're losing her. But that negative spiral is who you are becoming. That is the battle to look at. That is what you need to prepare for. That IS THE PROBLEM right NOW!

What if you're stoic just for 48 hrs? Step back. Be distant. Don't be so g*ddam available. Just don't for 48 hours! Oh but, but, but. Don't be blind man! That is the only protection you have right now. Because you're killing yourself. You're on life support man. Keep giving yourself these false hopes and dreams that it will all work out. Let me ask you. How is that working out!? Where are you? Who are you? Who have you become? What if you could just take a step back for 48 hours and rid yourself of all the emotions that drive and at the same time kill your day, and say THIS.... THIS... THIS TIME IS ABOUT ME! Just me for 48 g*ddam hours!

So let me ask you. Who are you going to be NOW? Not in a week! NOW. RIGHT F*CKING NOW. Can you let yourself be trampled with emotions another weekend? Because if you do, you're continuing to go down that path of who you don't want to be, of who she doesn't want you be, of your kids don't want you to be, of your family, your friends, your co-workers and anyone you'll meet in the future.

So stop clutching that iphone waiting for a text, looking for emails that never arrive. Don't try to be liked. Be who you really are. Don't play by your self-imposed rules. Stop with the "it's such a hard day" crap. It's going to get even harder if you continue to lose yourself. Stop with the excuses, for yourself, for her, for your family and for 48 hours, JUST THINK ABOUT YOU! Believe in yourself and what you choose to do with it and then you might realize what really needs to be done.


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## Wildflower3 (Nov 20, 2011)

Great post! Needed that at this exact moment. Thank you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## coachman (Jan 31, 2012)

Hello Mr. Reality check. Nice to see you. Great post.


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## lovemygirls (Feb 26, 2012)

Glad you got it Wildflower!

Yep Coachman...We get into these situations that consume us so much because that is all we want, we lose hindsight, and that builds so many walls that are only perpetuated by ourselves!

This comes to mind! 

Tommy Boy (7/10) Movie CLIP - I Killed My Sale! (1995) HD - YouTube


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## justabovewater (Jun 26, 2011)

Glad to see you're back.


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## coachman (Jan 31, 2012)

Tommy likey Tommy want wingy


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## lovemygirls (Feb 26, 2012)

Thanks justabove! Feels great!

Coach! If Tommy quotes don't bring a smile, well then you're in the wrong forums!

One last thought popped in (self-talk....not meant to be toward your stbx!)):

You're Al Pacino and the team is YOU!

You're Al Pacino and the team is YOU!

Al Pacino - Any Given Sunday - "Inch By Inch" - YouTube

Good one by 'Rocky' also, bring it up later. 

Great to see everyone and feel alive!


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## lovemygirls (Feb 26, 2012)

coachman said:


> Hello *Mr. Reality check*. Nice to see you. Great post.


Had to read that a few more times 

Thanks man!


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## melissa68 (Feb 10, 2012)

ok I so needed that today....I have done a backwards slide big time and was feeling depression and all its lovely charms consuming me because why? because some piece of **** man who walked out on his family out of the blue, hasent offered support or come to see his children in nearly three months, cheated on me, hit me, lied to me, punished me for his crap and so much more doesnt want me? screw that!!! Is he crying for me? hell no....is he even thinking about how he hurt me or his kids? no way....is he a selfish prick yeppers....if he were doing this to anyone else....be it a stranger, a friend, a family member would I tell her to beg him back? Uh no I'd tell her to run fast the other way and thank god every day he left and didnt come back.


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## unsure78 (Oct 17, 2011)

lovemygirls that was an awesome post, i hope your living it
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## alone_not_lonely (Mar 22, 2012)

Awesome to see you're back with renewed spirit  KEEP IT UP!!


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