# Wondering if a pop to the mouth is enough....



## Augusto (Aug 14, 2013)

This may just be trigger emotions talking but I sometimes feel as though a simple ass kicking is more valuable than a meeting with a counselor. It's like a man in the office that has bad habits of making passes and sexual advances at women. Pop him in the mouth and he would never do it again. No need for a verbal warning or a write up. The same with a cheater. Arrange for the ass kicking of a lifetime and they would think twice before doing it again. Sometimes the old ways FEEL better than any talking with a counselor would bring.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

Augusto said:


> Sometimes the old ways FEEL better than any talking with a counselor would bring.


Our lizard brains are wired to f*ck, kill, and sit around the fire chewing qat.

Fortunately or not, there are laws regulating such behavior.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

The old ways may feel better, but these days are likely to land you in jail. And you may end with your ass kicked instead!


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## Devastated an lost (Oct 29, 2014)

GTdad said:


> Our lizard brains are wired to f*ck, kill, and sit around the fire chewing qat.
> 
> Fortunately or not, there are laws regulating such behavior.


I think it would be nice to have a law for cheaters. You should be held responsible for breaking your vows, Just as you would be with any other legal document. That or a good old fashion A$$ kicking would be ok as well.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

All I can say is sure but remember - no marks, no fingerprints, no witnesses and a watertight alibi! 😃


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## convert (Oct 4, 2013)

Laws prohibit this even destroying you own property is against the law


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Devastated an lost said:


> I think it would be nice to have a law for cheaters. You should be held responsible for breaking your vows, Just as you would be with any other legal document. That or a good old fashion A$$ kicking would be ok as well.


I believe adultery is still a crime of sorts in Illinois, Michigan, Minnesota, New York and Alabama.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

General Forum Rules: Treat others on the forum with dignity and respect. Personal attacks, hate speech, racist or sexist statements or attacks, sexual harassment, explicit sexual comments, *promoting violence,* *will not be tolerated.*


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

Pluto2 said:


> I believe adultery is still a crime of sorts in Illinois, Michigan, Minnesota, New York and Alabama.


I'd bet you'd have a hell of a time trying to find a cop willing to take the complaint or a prosecutor willing to take the case.

The fact is that there are a lot of people who deserve an ass-kicking for one reason or another, but we need to be pretty careful and selective in who we decide to administer it to. Juries in Texas might be a bit forgiving depending on the circumstances, but I sure wouldn't count on it too heavily.


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## Devastated an lost (Oct 29, 2014)

Pluto2 said:


> I believe adultery is still a crime of sorts in Illinois, Michigan, Minnesota, New York and Alabama.


Cool! I live in Alabama. I'll have to look it up.


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## Augusto (Aug 14, 2013)

Coffee Amore said:


> General Forum Rules: Treat others on the forum with dignity and respect. Personal attacks, hate speech, racist or sexist statements or attacks, sexual harassment, explicit sexual comments, *promoting violence,* *will not be tolerated.*



Notice the word "FEEL"....not promoting anything.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

GTdad said:


> Our lizard brains are wired to f*ck, kill, and sit around the fire chewing qat.
> 
> Fortunately or not, there are laws regulating such behavior.


*How true! And if we perchance have any discernible amount of "dinero" built up in our "deep pockets," the act of summarily calling someone out and soundly whipping their ass over getting themselves a nice juicy piece of our "better half"( when in fact, the "better half" very likely led them on to do it in the first place) could not only land one in immediate incarceration, but could also help to severely dwindle the funds in one's bank account, to largely help pay off such mundane things as any of the physical injuries inflicted, medical fees, long-term medical care, resultive lawsuits, attorney fees, court costs, and any summary judgments of money subsequently ordered by either the court or a sympathetic jury!*


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Devastated an lost said:


> Cool! I live in Alabama. I'll have to look it up.


*And likely unenforceable ~ no self respecting district attorney or prosecutor has the funds nor the physical resources to seek out a criminal indictment of that magnitude for the often misdemeanor crime of "marital infidelity," more especially that in doing so would make them look moreso like an ass in the public's eye!

They'd have far better luck in prosecuting parking tickets issued by incompetent meter maids!

Those archaic laws need to fall off of the books ~ and that can only be done by either the state legislatures or the appellate court system!*


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## EI (Jun 12, 2012)

Augusto said:


> The same with a cheater. Arrange for the ass kicking of a lifetime and they would think twice before doing it again. AYFKM? Do you believe that would solve the issue of infidelity, and then everyone would live happily ever after?


As a fWS, I can assure you that if someone ever _popped me in the mouth_, or made arrangements for me to get the _ass kicking of a lifetime,_ the possibility of me cheating, again, would be the least of their worries. However, sleeping with one eye open, for the rest of their life, would need to be at the top their list.

I used the generic words _"someone"_ and _"their"_ instead of B1, because in 34 years, B1 has never laid a hand on me, in anger, and I won't insult him by implying that he ever would have or ever will. 

I'm solely responsible for my choices, just as everyone else is solely responsible for their's. To suggest, otherwise, would be a classic case of blame-shifting, plain and simple. Yes, we all have impulses, it's when we choose to act on our immoral, unethical, and potentially damaging impulses that the problems arise.


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## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

Augusto said:


> This may just be trigger emotions talking but I sometimes feel as though a simple ass kicking is more valuable than a meeting with a counselor. It's like a man in the office that has bad habits of making passes and sexual advances at women. Pop him in the mouth and he would never do it again. No need for a verbal warning or a write up. The same with a cheater. Arrange for the ass kicking of a lifetime and they would think twice before doing it again. Sometimes the old ways FEEL better than any talking with a counselor would bring.


It has never crossed my mind to be physically confrontational in any way with my wife. The OM however, that is another matter and its probably better that we never meet face to face. I would say stuff and probably help create a situation I might later regret. I am not a violent guy and don't throw first punches, but I don't see myself backing down from that confrontation.


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## drifting on (Nov 22, 2013)

As someone who has seen enough violent crimes against humans I don't promote physical violence. I confronted my WW OM twice, I wish I could say I didn't get physical because of the violent atrocities I've seen. I didn't get physical as I had way to much to lose then the OM did. I had to think of my family and boys, they are what's important, not stomping my WW OM a$$. Maybe it's a form of therapy to say you would kick the AP's a$$, but reality would probably set in that there are other ways to make them pay. I have left my WW AP alone for over a year, no contact whatsoever, but through mutual friends I hear how miserable his life has become. Perhaps that's my justice, let them live in their own he!!, I have gotten better and I assume that will continue. So while they live with their terrible choices I'm guilt free and learning to enjoy life again.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

GTdad said:


> Our lizard brains are wired to f*ck, kill, and sit around the fire chewing qat.
> 
> Fortunately or not, there are laws regulating such behavior.


I've been known to sit around the fire chewing the fat.

I know a guy who believes in the punching theory. I must say that his threshold is high, unless there is alcohol in his system. He also believes in the strategic use of the F-bomb. 

I also had a friend whos ex hired a few thugs to give him a beating. Not because he was the cheater but because he reported her for endangering his children by having illegal drugs in her home. 

I've found little success in the administration of physical violence in solving my problems. I'm embarrassed to say that I have tried. 

As far as civil penalties for breach of contract. That is what alimony was and it didn't work.
MN


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## Devastated an lost (Oct 29, 2014)

arbitrator said:


> *And likely unenforceable ~ no self respecting district attorney or prosecutor has the funds nor the physical resources to seek out a criminal indictment of that magnitude for the often misdemeanor crime of "marital infidelity," more especially that in doing so would make them look moreso like an ass in the public's eye!
> 
> They'd have far better luck in prosecuting parking tickets issued by incompetent meter maids!
> 
> Those archaic laws need to fall off of the books ~ and that can only be done by either the state legislatures or the appellate court system!*


To clear up any misunderstanding about my post,

I would never try to have someone prosecuted. I said it would be nice "IF" we had a law to hold them legally accountable for breaking a contract & they knew they could face going to jail & paying fines or as in the old days, "As everyone was talking about" Law enforcement use to take them to a whipping post & publicly whip them. Hence-Old fashion.

I'm just saying if they had more to fear than just being caught by there spouse, They might think about it a little harder, If is was also illegal. I know it's unrealistic these days. I was just thinking out loud. Didn't mean to offend anyone.


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## Augusto (Aug 14, 2013)

I had many offers from ladies here at work to take care of my wife back in the day.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

Augusto said:


> This may just be trigger emotions talking but I sometimes feel as though a simple ass kicking is more valuable than a meeting with a counselor. It's like a man in the office that has bad habits of making passes and sexual advances at women. Pop him in the mouth and he would never do it again. No need for a verbal warning or a write up. The same with a cheater. Arrange for the ass kicking of a lifetime and they would think twice before doing it again. Sometimes the old ways FEEL better than any talking with a counselor would bring.


There is no logical reason this would not "work". Its negative reinforcement 101. The main variable is that the punishment must be predictable and certain.


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## 2asdf2 (Jun 5, 2012)

Forest said:


> There is no logical reason this would not "work". Its negative reinforcement 101. The main variable is that the punishment must be predictable and certain.


?Swift?


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

In theory i very much agree with you. However in this day and age a good old arse kicking will probably get you arrested.

However if i could ensure i wouldn't get caught an arse kicking might apply to the other person.


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

*Get one of these. Dress him/her up and go right at it. Great workout*


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Augusto said:


> This may just be trigger emotions talking but I sometimes feel as though a simple ass kicking is more valuable than a meeting with a counselor. It's like a man in the office that has bad habits of making passes and sexual advances at women. Pop him in the mouth and he would never do it again. No need for a verbal warning or a write up. The same with a cheater. Arrange for the ass kicking of a lifetime and they would think twice before doing it again. Sometimes the old ways FEEL better than any talking with a counselor would bring.


Yep. That's the world I come from. And I prefer it that way.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

Coffee Amore said:


> General Forum Rules: Treat others on the forum with dignity and respect. Personal attacks, hate speech, racist or sexist statements or attacks, sexual harassment, explicit sexual comments, *promoting violence,* *will not be tolerated.*


If this was aimed at me, you have got to know that I was joking/being sarcastic (surely)


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## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

After D-Day .. After not sleeping for three weeks, I had a confrontation with my XW. I did slap her. I couldn't believe it. I'm not a violent person and I never thought I could lay a hand on her, whatever happened. I was very ashamed about it for a long time. It went against my nature and my principles at the time, and I would take it back if I could. I felt I degraded myself. I suppose learning that she had brought a man into our home (and I correctly deduced our bed) while continuing to flaunt her affair and trying to insert him into our childrens' lives made me snap. I'm not proud of it, I guess I didn't have a "safe place" to go and it was making me ill about the violation of our home. Lost a lot of sleep. There have been times where I've thought "maybe she deserved it" and then "no" and then "maybe". Now I'm at "well, it happened" but it did degrade everything further and brought it more to the cheaters' level. A vortex I was trying to not get sucked into. But what a vile creature to bring OM into our bed. It's so far beyond the pale and should turn anyone's stomach.


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## Chas (Apr 2, 2015)

I'm kind of surprised no one brought up BashfullBull's story.

I think he was lucky to be from a small town where a great deal of justice is dispensed by individual officers. I'm from a small town and a bygone era where about 99% of social issues were handled by shaming the person and the other 1% resulted in an a$$kicking. I think we all find some gray area based on the conduct of the wayward spouse or other POS, but maybe we can all agree that there is 1% that is so disgusting that the old methods are appropriate.


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## jim123 (Sep 29, 2012)

EI said:


> As a fWS, I can assure you that if someone ever _popped me in the mouth_, or made arrangements for me to get the _ass kicking of a lifetime,_ the possibility of me cheating, again, would be the least of their worries. However, sleeping with one eye open, for the rest of their life, would need to be at the top their list.
> 
> I used the generic words _"someone"_ and _"their"_ instead of B1, because in 34 years, B1 has never laid a hand on me, in anger, and I won't insult him by implying that he ever would have or ever will.
> 
> I'm solely responsible for my choices, just as everyone else is solely responsible for their's. To suggest, otherwise, would be a classic case of blame-shifting, plain and simple. Yes, we all have impulses, it's when we choose to act on our immoral, unethical, and potentially damaging impulses that the problems arise.


Not long ago we use to stone those who cheated or shamed them.

The most effective thing is always to improve yourself like B1 did. I love your comments about B1 saying to B1 that he would make someone a great husband, wait a minute, you will make me a great husband!

Win wars people, not battles. Make yourself into someone they are afraid to lose. Someone who other people would want.

That is how you win


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## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

There are a lot of cultural issues and values at play here. Infidelity is not viewed the same all over the world, and appropriate responses will vary. 

That's good advice jim123.


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## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

A real strong threat can be a good deterrent for some OM, though it could likewise lead to them going underground. In some cases, it could turn on the WW or appall her. The question is what is right for you and how you'd feel about yourself and your own integrity. Personally, I'm not opposed to anyone ever offering the OM a painful trip to the ground, righteous anger can be cathartic. But there are much more effective and smarter ways by which to disturb, annoy or eliminate a threat like that which doesn't turn you into something you don't want to be. Also, there may be instances an OM was led on by the WW and led to believe (or wanted to believe) things were happening in the M which were not. What, OM's are always the aggressors? Mm, not always.


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## altawa (Jan 4, 2015)

EI said:


> As a fWS, I can assure you that if someone ever _popped me in the mouth_, or made arrangements for me to get the _ass kicking of a lifetime,_ the possibility of me cheating, again, would be the least of their worries. However, sleeping with one eye open, for the rest of their life, would need to be at the top their list.
> 
> I used the generic words _"someone"_ and _"their"_ instead of B1, because in 34 years, B1 has never laid a hand on me, in anger, and I won't insult him by implying that he ever would have or ever will.
> 
> I'm solely responsible for my choices, just as everyone else is solely responsible for their's. To suggest, otherwise, would be a classic case of blame-shifting, plain and simple. Yes, we all have impulses, it's when we choose to act on our immoral, unethical, and potentially damaging impulses that the problems arise.


Well, isn't that special.


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## Augusto (Aug 14, 2013)

altawa said:


> Well, isn't that special.


lol....you would think the cheater would consider this a possibility.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

manfromlamancha said:


> If this was aimed at me, you have got to know that I was joking/being sarcastic (surely)


It wasn't aimed at anyone in particular, but more of a general warning. I put it out there because these threads disintegrate into advocating more than just a pop to the mouth.


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## Augusto (Aug 14, 2013)

Coffee Amore said:


> It wasn't aimed at anyone in particular, but more of a general warning. I put it out there because these threads disintegrate into advocating more than just a pop to the mouth.


I understand and know you are a board moderator. I don't know your background but have you been on the receiving end of infidelity before? Emotions at times can turn into just venting sessions and nothing more.


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## Max.HeadRoom (Jun 28, 2014)

In the 180; is this not what exercising & weight training is for? To vent this built up aggression in a more positive way? 

Oh I do get it, in 2004 I needed to walk in the woods with a baseball bat beating up dead trees. In the end I was sore & exhausted but not in jail, next day I felt much better.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Augusto said:


> This may just be trigger emotions talking but I sometimes feel as though a simple ass kicking is more valuable than a meeting with a counselor. It's like a man in the office that has bad habits of making passes and sexual advances at women. Pop him in the mouth and he would never do it again. No need for a verbal warning or a write up. The same with a cheater. Arrange for the ass kicking of a lifetime and they would think twice before doing it again. Sometimes the old ways FEEL better than any talking with a counselor would bring.


Popping in the mouth didn't work out so well for Jeremy Clarkson.


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## Augusto (Aug 14, 2013)

Max.HeadRoom said:


> In the 180; is this not what exercising & weight training is for? To vent this built up aggression in a more positive way?
> 
> Oh I do get it, in 2004 I needed to walk in the woods with a baseball bat beating up dead trees. In the end I was sore & exhausted but not in jail, next day I felt much better.



Whose 180?....I have seen several versions.


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## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

Would a roundhouse kick count as a 180? 

/Sarcasm


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

Lon said:


> Popping in the mouth didn't work out so well for Jeremy Clarkson.


I had to look him up. I'm still not clear on the circumstances, but I have to give kudos for giving Piers Morgan a fist sandwich.

So there you have it, torn between my mostly law-abiding nature and glee in a little schadenfreude.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

GTdad said:


> I had to look him up. I'm still not clear on the circumstances, but I have to give kudos for giving Piers Morgan a fist sandwich.
> 
> So there you have it, torn between my mostly law-abiding nature and glee in a little schadenfreude.


Actually I was refereeing to the time Clarkson punched BBC producer Oisin Tymon which caused the best television show ever made to be canceled. But yes there was the time he popped Morgan and got away with it.


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## Hurtin_Still (Oct 3, 2011)

.....I see an extreme need to bring back the "wild, wild, west" days of the late 1800's ...where ...if you 'effed with another man's horse ...let alone his wife ....you were likely to have been aerated by a Colt .45.


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## jim123 (Sep 29, 2012)

altawa said:


> Well, isn't that special.


Yep it is.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I'm for old school. If hell froze and Mrs. Conan cheated, I would ensure the moron that helped destroy my marriage would have a "meeting" with me for payment.

He might have kissed my wife but then it is only fair that he kiss me too, on my knuckles, many, many times.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## where_are_we (May 24, 2013)

Augusto said:


> This may just be trigger emotions talking but I sometimes feel as though a simple ass kicking is more valuable than a meeting with a counselor. It's like a man in the office that has bad habits of making passes and sexual advances at women. Pop him in the mouth and he would never do it again. No need for a verbal warning or a write up. The same with a cheater. Arrange for the ass kicking of a lifetime and they would think twice before doing it again. Sometimes the old ways FEEL better than any talking with a counselor would bring.


YES! When I saw my husband tonight, I kept envisioning that I was going to kick him in the face. I was so angry at him for everything; but mostly for the heartache this mess has caused my youngest child. I then went to therapy and my anger immediately turned to Niagara falls. Only cost me $29 and it wasn't for bail. So I guess I'll just keep fantasizing.


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## Augusto (Aug 14, 2013)

where_are_we said:


> YES! When I saw my husband tonight, I kept envisioning that I was going to kick him in the face. I was so angry at him for everything; but mostly for the heartache this mess has caused my youngest child. I then went to therapy and my anger immediately turned to Niagara falls. Only cost me $29 and it wasn't for bail. So I guess I'll just keep fantasizing.


Just from what this does to children alone boils my blood!!!


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## HarryDoyle (Jan 19, 2013)

Personally I prefer the "boot to the head" method. (Easier on the knuckles)





"Boot to the head!" - Ti Kwan Leep http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8VD4JXUozM


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

I have a friend who went with his brother to confront the POSOM in the brother's M.

According to my friend, the guy was very scared...said he was so sorry...WW had told him they were separated but living together, blah, blah, blah.

The brother vented and turned to leave....my friend leaned in really close and said, "This will go very bad for you, Mother f*cker, if I and some of my friends have to come back here."

Then he walked away.

Now my friend is a BIG guy, very tatted up...yeah, he spent some time in the pokey over a decade ago.

Must have really scared the POS....the WW was never able to reach him ever again...my friend said his brother caught her in a couple of attempted communications.

Eventually, his brother and WW were able to R....but my friend says he doesn't think his brother is really happy in the M anymore a couple years post-A.

Also know a woman who got into a brief fight with the mouthy POSOW who was cheating with her LTbf....they were quickly separated before either was hurt.

lol...she turned around and spit in her Wbf's face and stormed off...ended the relationship immediately.

He came back begging her for another chance a couple times....she told him to go pound sand every time.


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## PBDad (Apr 13, 2015)

Ain't nothing wrong with a little street justice. You can do it without leaving a mark - or leave plenty.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

PBDad said:


> Ain't nothing wrong with a little street justice. You can do it without leaving a mark - or leave plenty.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


*... and simply roll the dice by taking a calculated chance of letting some criminal petit jury summarily examine the evidence, all with the distinct possibility of sending the assailant away for many years, if not the rest of their natural lives!*


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## X-B (Jul 25, 2013)

HarryDoyle said:


> Personally I prefer the "boot to the head" method. (Easier on the knuckles)
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 It is not like TV. A guy can break his fingers and get arthritis.


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## PBDad (Apr 13, 2015)

arbitrator said:


> *... and simply roll the dice by taking a calculated chance of letting some criminal petit jury summarily examine the evidence, all with the distinct possibility of sending the assailant away for many years, if not the rest of their natural lives!*


There are ways to deal with this too. It's called street smarts.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## thread the needle (May 4, 2015)

I have never been able to beat intelligence or integrity into someone. Fear does not seems to stop them either because they figure they wont get caught THIS time because they THINK they are smarter THIS time. There is a fine line between ignorance and bravery. Feels good but doesn't work. Lots of things we do or have considered is playing with fire. Old school beat downs today are not viewed like they used to be. We are way too liberal as a society. 

I beat down a guy that tore my girlfriends shirt open in front of a crowd of drunken college males in the hall way. She was afraid of getting raped right there in the hall way outside my room. I was severely punished for that, barely avoided a criminal record and incarceration, almost got kicked out of that school where I had scholarships, had to go to counselor to clear me to go back on campus, was ostracized by the non-violent. I was raised to beat down anyone abusing women. 

The very unsupportive reaction surprised me including from the girls non-violence father. I got no vocal support for that incident to my surprise. Lesson learned. I aint in Kansas any more.


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## convert (Oct 4, 2013)

thread the needle said:


> I have never been able to beat intelligence or integrity into someone. Fear does not seems to stop them either because they figure they wont get caught THIS time because they THINK they are smarter THIS time. There is a fine line between ignorance and bravery. Feels good but doesn't work. Lots of things we do or have considered is playing with fire. Old school beat downs today are not viewed like they used to be. We are way too liberal as a society.
> 
> I beat down a guy that tore my girlfriends shirt open in front of a crowd of drunken college males in the hall way. She was afraid of getting raped right there in the hall way outside my room. I was severely punished for that, barely avoided a criminal record and incarceration, almost got kicked out of that school where I had scholarships, had to go to counselor to clear me to go back on campus, was ostracized by the non-violent. I was raised to beat down anyone abusing women.
> 
> The very unsupportive reaction surprised me including from the girls non-violence father. I got no vocal support for that incident to my surprise. Lesson learned. I aint in Kansas any more.


How did your girlfriend react to your beat down of the guy?

The guy could have been charged with at least sexual assault, possible maybe even attempted rape.


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## thread the needle (May 4, 2015)

convert said:


> How did your girlfriend react to your beat down of the guy?
> 
> The guy could have been charged with at least sexual assault, possible maybe even attempted rape.


She thought it was lovely I cared and disagreed that I should have hurt him. 

The guy was turned into a VICTIM by my beat down so not a word was uttered bout what he did including that he deserved it. 

NO ONE thought he deserved it including her even despite what he did. 

I would never do it again. Too close for comfort. I would calmly call the police and leave it at that.


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## G.J. (Nov 4, 2014)

A friend of mines wife held a very senior position at a well known U.K. Company and had *some what* (extreme caution to be used with these words) unwanted attention from a co-board room member from the parent company
He found out and events soon spiralled some what
Her brothers found out and arranged a trip into the country one night to have a chat with the POSOM
The POSOM now lives in France (apparently he moved with in 3 months) with his wife and children and my friend has a wife who moved into an extremely lower paid job but much more family orientated hours of work and they love each other just as much


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