# Marine spouse, trying to cope with infidelity, need help please.



## Sweetdezi22 (Oct 15, 2009)

I am new t this thing and cant afford counseling or other help. so here this goes. 

I am a Marine spouse who has endored many obsticles in my years with my husband. I have managed to over come two deployments to a man who was the one i changed everything in my life for. I was a person to never ever wanted to be married, let alone be a mother until him. I have been the best wife i can possibly be. Supporting him.....waiting faithfuly before, during and after his two tours overseas. The stressful and straining being a spouse of the military and being a single parent mose of the time while hes away. 

My husband will never admit it but he's an alcholic...before we decided to have a child this man that i loved so much can clear away bottels of wildturkey. Never laid a hand on me, nor verbaly abusive. We were younger, we were enjoying life and everything then the talk of children came up...he asked me what i thought about it.....for him i would...i would give up my body i finally loved and was happy with for the life of another. We had the discussion of giving up our fun and no worries of a social life the parting and everything, if we were ready to take this next step to parenthood.....and we were ready....atleast he said he was. It took us 2years to get pregnant, and shortly after our move to another base in CA we found out the exciting news and then the fun began. Shorlty after we had our son he had to leave for 3 months.....and so i was bymyself across the country away from any help from family in a new areas and base with no friends or help....i have a c-section and it wasnt even 3weeks later he had to leave for Maryland for 3months....two moonths that taht started the change of our marriage. While i was recovering from the csection which was on the verge of being infected  i was taking care of our beautiful son who was 24/7 colic, and i was in school (transfered to my universitys onlince classroom) all he did was go to the bars everynight, get drunk the whole time he was there he went out with his younger brother to a party that he only "took home" a chick. Then my son and i flew home for th\e first time so that my husband and my family could meet their first grandchild.....i was only there for two weeks and a week into the visit my husband was stabbed in the leg and almost lost his leg letalone almost his life due to the loss of blood. During the time i was trying to find out where my husband was at if hes still alive, if he was going to keep his leg i was being told about "the girl he took back to her place" and the suposably making out with girls in the bars. All of this at the same time!!!  my husband lived thank god, however he said that all he did was take her home and that he didnt make out with anyone. On top of it the day before my flight home (back to CA, where we were stationed at) i recieved a phone call my home was broken into, my car was stollen, baby stuff was stollen, money, jewlery EVERYTHING....and i was by myself with a newborn and my husband wasnt able to come and help deal with everything....and on top of his when i was cleaning the mess up i fould that they were smoking METH in my home i found the meth pipe!!!!!! 
Anyways our lease was up and all our money and creditcard were stollen and we had nothing! Now, no home a rocky marriage and we were having such a hard time trying to get a home on base CRAZY!!! Anyways time went on lies kept going the who 9 yards.....then he decieds to leave the military career life in within 8months we pack up and move back to WV  no jobs, to home, no insurence nothing but us. We stayed with his family and i found a job he found a job however making nothing and struggling more than ever in our life..all he wants to do is go out every weekend all weekend long, stay out till 4-5am and i have to go to work by 8am....and hes to watch my son....i cant telly ou how many times ive had to call off work bc i could wake him up with out fear of him not watchin our child.....i work days and he works from 4pm to midnight or 3am. and come weekends he wants nothing to do with me, or anything....well about 3 months ago my husband was passed out and his phone goes off and its a text message from "Her" and it all get revieled! I woke him up and told me the truth...told me he sletp with her twice......that it was a mistake blah blah blah....since then he hasnt drank a drop of alcohole, is trying to be suportive of my feelings and how i feel, i still love him however im beyond depressed, perinoid, basically feeling like im waiting for him to disapoint me once again....its been three months and i feel like if i want to stay with him i need to try to figure out me and get control over my feelings.....i get so mad at him for the slightest thing and it just keeps me angry at him even if its nothing major it could be like he didn't clean up the toys after our sone went for a nap, or make the bed after morning scheduale and i dont know how to not be angry at him.....help! I want to take the step and work on us but i dont know how to i need help and im not sure on how to help how i feel ........


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## dmab (Nov 20, 2009)

Hi,

I ran across your post and I just want to say that I'm sorry for what you are going through. I may be able to help. I am a young Marine wife that has some things that I'm struggling with in my marriage. Please send me a personal message so we can talk. I think it'd be good for the both of us.


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## MRi (Jan 2, 2010)

Hello,
I'm not a Marine wife .. I'm an ex Air Force wife ... soon be to Army wife. My husband is getting back in the military .. I would like to talk to both of you if this is okay .. I'm worried about a lot of things in our marriage ( most of the things have to do with the military ) ... and well I can relate to the finding a text message thing ... so please send me a personal message and maybe we could all talk .. thanks!


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