# Dating, is this a red flag?



## Ck00130 (Nov 17, 2021)

So I’m going on a 3rd date with this guy tomorrow and he told me his longest relationship was 6 months in a text. He is 28. Is that normal or a red flag? He is very reserved person but respectful. I tried to ask more about it but he wanted to change the subject. Should I just enjoy the date tomorrow? He doesn’t really ask me very personal questions in our text. Am I analyzing this too much?


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## UAArchangel (2 mo ago)

As long as it is just a date, there is no harm or foul. He just may need more time to get to know yiu.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

How old are you?


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## Ck00130 (Nov 17, 2021)

Openminded said:


> How old are you?


I am 28 as well.


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## Ck00130 (Nov 17, 2021)

UAArchangel said:


> As long as it is just a date, there is no harm or foul. He just may need more time to get to know yiu.


Makes sense. Thank you.


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## ShatteredKat (Mar 23, 2016)

My opinion - kind of an odd thing to tell someone -

Like maybe he is telling you he doesn't want a serious or get-to-be serious (whatever that is?) relationship.

Or - (My mind in the gutter) he is saying if we have sex that doesn't mean we become a couple - more than six months.

Just odd to mention that - to me - that doesn't ever need to be said by anyone other than to their mother or a shrink!


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

It could be a red flag but it may be that he hasn’t met the right person to motivate him to anything further. If he refuses to share, _that_ could be a red flag.

Sometimes, I wonder if people who say that are trying to come off like they’re a challenge by acting non-commital. I don’t see the point in sharing that with someone tbh, but just see where it leads I guess, and pay attention to things that seem like red flags.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

The devil is in the details. If he is in law school or med school or getting a doctorate in nuclear engineering or has even spent several years in the military, a 28 year old male that has never been in a relationship more than 6 months isn't necessarily shocking. 

But the devil is in the details. What are the circumstances surrounding his relationship status? Is he very socially awkward or on the spectrum and has trouble relating to people on a close level, or is he an Ahole or is he a player that is mainly looking for hook ups and short term casual relationship? 

I think the why matters more than the what.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

Enjoy the date. He may be a lovely person to spend New Years Eve with. 

At this point you don't have think beyond that. 

I wouldn't say it's a red flag but maybe a yellow caution flag. Stay alert you don't to run screaming from a 3rd date.


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## Ck00130 (Nov 17, 2021)

oldshirt said:


> The devil is in the details. If he is in law school or med school or getting a doctorate in nuclear engineering or has even spent several years in the military, a 28 year old male that has never been in a relationship more than 6 months isn't necessarily shocking.
> 
> But the devil is in the details. What are the circumstances surrounding his relationship status? Is he very socially awkward or on the spectrum and has trouble relating to people on a close level, or is he an Ahole or is he a player that is mainly looking for hook ups and short term casual relationship?
> 
> I think the why matters more than the what.


I don’t think he is on the spectrum.I can tell he is an introvert. He has been very respectful towards me and a gentlemen. I think he is just a quiet guy. On the 2nd date, he hugged me but that’s it.

idk I guess I’ll just watch closely tomorrow.


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## Julie's Husband (Jan 3, 2022)

In what context did he mention that his longest relationship was 6 months?


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Ck00130 said:


> I don’t think he is on the spectrum.I can tell he is an introvert. He has been very respectful towards me and a gentlemen. I think he is just a quiet guy. On the 2nd date, he hugged me but that’s it.
> 
> idk I guess I’ll just watch closely tomorrow.


Good plan...move ahead but watch your step.

My first thought was that maybe he has good boundaries. He doesn't keep women around if they aren't what he's looking for.

But that could easily be the reverse, women don't keep him around once they know the real him.

As others have said... It depends.


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

When I had met my wife at age 33 the longest “relationship” I’d ever been in was maybe 4 months, if you even want to call that a relationship. I’d always been shy and introverted and very focused on sports and college/medical school/residency. It got much easier to find dates with the advent of online dating but I was typically bored by my dates and rarely went out on a second. Things clicked with her and here we are still married 12 years later with 2 wonderful boys. She could have seen my lack of relationships as a red flag but she acted like she didn’t care. Honestly I felt self conscious about it because I was afraid of being judged just like you are describing.


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## lmucamac (4 mo ago)

It’s very odd, but I wouldn’t consider it a red flag. Go on the date, get to know each other better. It could be he has been focusing on his career. Maybe he doesn’t want to make a commitment. Maybe he hasn’t might someone who shares his views and future goals. This is why you date, and have conversation, not one line texts. Get the details.


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## Slow Hand (Oct 4, 2015)

Ck00130 said:


> So I’m going on a 3rd date with this guy tomorrow and he told me his longest relationship was 6 months in a text. He is 28. Is that normal or a red flag? He is very reserved person but respectful. I tried to ask more about it but he wanted to change the subject. Should I just enjoy the date tomorrow? He doesn’t really ask me very personal questions in our text. Am I analyzing this too much?


So if he doesn’t really ask you very personal questions as he’s a very reserved person, does that mean you asked him this very personal question through text?


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Ck00130 said:


> So I’m going on a 3rd date with this guy tomorrow and he told me his longest relationship was 6 months in a text. He is 28. Is that normal or a red flag? He is very reserved person but respectful. I tried to ask more about it but he wanted to change the subject. Should I just enjoy the date tomorrow? He doesn’t really ask me very personal questions in our text. Am I analyzing this too much?


Why not just let it play out. Could be a red flag but maybe you fit better. How did the dates go? If they were good why try to sabotage?


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## Ck00130 (Nov 17, 2021)

Slow Hand said:


> So if he doesn’t really ask you very personal questions as he’s a very reserved person, does that mean you asked him this very personal question through text?


I did not ask. It was just a text out of the blue. Before he was telling me about a 4 wheeler he was fixing.


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## Ck00130 (Nov 17, 2021)

Thank y’all. I think I am maybe analyzing too much. I was trying to figure out if he was trying to tell me something or what. I’ll just go and enjoy the date. See what happens.


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## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

Ck00130 said:


> So I’m going on a 3rd date with this guy tomorrow and he told me his longest relationship was 6 months in a text. He is 28. Is that normal or a red flag? He is very reserved person but respectful. I tried to ask more about it but he wanted to change the subject. Should I just enjoy the date tomorrow? He doesn’t really ask me very personal questions in our text. Am I analyzing this too much?


I'd say enjoy the dates, but you are free to date others, as you should. You're not exclusive. From there, you select the best person that compliments you and wants what you want.


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## ArthurGPym (Jun 28, 2021)

Many if not most young men today are leery of long term relationships and marriage, given that there is very little incentive for any young male to marry in this day and age. Marriage offers very few if any benefits to a man other than a chance to be a father. Most young, millennial women like to say they don't need a man, and they go forward making sure their male partners are reminded of this every day. This guy has auditioned many women for the role of wife and they apparently all came up lacking.


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## DamianDamian (Aug 14, 2019)

Not really. I was the same at same age. It's hard for young guys to get decent women, chick's don't really like young guys and life is working long hours for lots of young men. 
I've been married 4 years now, it's what I always wanted.


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## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

Only if it matters to you.


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

Ck00130 said:


> I did not ask. It was just a text out of the blue. Before he was telling me about a 4 wheeler he was fixing.


So, this guy is an introvert and a gearhead? Heck, I'd date him if I wasn't married!

Serious over analyzing going on since it's so early on. But that's not to say any analyzing is bad. 

Things seem on the up and up so far.

The dating scene is supposed to be for the purpose of finding out if your life plans and world views mesh. 

Carry on, you're doing great.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Not until I was around 29, I never had a single serious relationship. The most I ever kept a relationship was around 5-6 months. So, to him might be nothing, to you depending on what you gather, it might also be nothing or something to red flag.

Just go with the flow of things.


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## redHairs (6 mo ago)

ArthurGPym said:


> Many if not most young men today are leery of long term relationships and marriage,


Think same way.



Ck00130 said:


> and he told me his longest relationship was 6 months in a text.


Could be a yellow flag if it were marriage, IMHO. But it were nothing serious. But, what is important, maybe he is still don't want to marry.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Ck00130 said:


> So I’m going on a 3rd date with this guy tomorrow and he told me his longest relationship was 6 months in a text.


He opened his closet for you to peek in.

There were no dirty sneakers mentioned, there were only those nagging insecurities, he laid out in plain view.

........................................................................................

It might be, that he wanted to let you know he has no serious long term entanglements to worry over.

A lady in his past may have told him she has had bad luck with men who had LTR's.
Because, they could not get over their exes.

And, she pestered him about past relationships. 

Not wanting to repeat that (with you) he spelled it out, immediately.

.......................................................................................

I see you have not posted in a while....

All this writing may be for naught.

For not, now thus, we are forgotten.

You left us at the altar, uttering for naught, at midnight.
Sigh.



_The Typist-_


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## Ck00130 (Nov 17, 2021)

SunCMars said:


> He opened his closet for you to peek in.
> 
> There were no dirty sneakers mentioned, there were only those nagging insecurities, he laid out in plain view.
> 
> ...


Thank you for your comment! Went on the 4th date, everything has been going well. He kissed me on this date and held my hand so that was nice. So I’m trying to just go with the flow.


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