# Should I Hold on or Move on?? Please help!



## boston1212 (Sep 25, 2012)

Hi Everyone,

I would like to get some advice on my situation. Any help you can give would be great.

The brief on our story is that we dated for 6 months then found out she was pregnant. We broke up for a couple weeks during her pregnancy because she couldn't see us together in the future. After we got back together, things were great. We moved in together, had the baby, bought a house, then I proposed last November and have been married since (kinda). Last week, she said that I she didn't think I was the one and that we should part ways. She said that she has been thinking about this for a while and tried to make it work but the love isn't there. She can't give me what I want and vice versa. It really hurts to know that. I know that we hadn't had the best love for eachother. We have given our 3 year old all that we have. He has been the center of our world and her and we never had the chance to work on ourselves.

A couple nights ago, I mistakenly accused her of an emotional affair. I know that she is a flirty person and likes to be social. She has a boss that is a little older than her and there is a group of 5 of them that group text eachother alot. She's not that kind of person but I was just thinking and thinking...and thinking.

After that she decided to give me back her wedding ring because she felt guilty wearing it because I bought it w/ my money.

So today, I am moved out, have her ring and she wants a divorce.

My questions is, should I just move on or hope that she is not thinking things through and have hope for our marriage. We get along good and have had great memories. She is a quick thinker and acts w/o thinking sometimes and also needs control of situations.

What should I do??? Any help on here would be really appreciated!


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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

You should move on. You should look out for yourself and your future without her. You should pursue your own interests and take care of yourself as a single man.

That being said, you could take future relationships slow, as you probably recognize that you aren't ready for that. If she decides that she wants to get back with you, you could take it slow and develop a "new" relationship with her instead of a continuation of your current relationship. But don't wait for that to happen.

She claims she doesn't want you to hold on. Honor that. Move on. Anything can happen, but prepare yourself for a future without her, just in case.


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

How much rejection do you need before you wake up and have some respect for yourself?

Your wife was never really into you. You deserve much more than this.

Listen to survivorwife and keep posting here. It's therapeutic.


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## boston1212 (Sep 25, 2012)

Thank you, I am going to move forward and focus on myself. In all honesty, I haven't been truly happy myself. I am going to do things that I've been putting off and pursuing goals that I've always "thought" about.


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## hope4family (Sep 5, 2012)

I can relate to what you are going through. I do not have additional advice. But if you post i'll read it and understand.


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

It is DEFINITELY over. She was ready to call it off when she was pregnant, but didn't. Apparently, she was trying to 'give it a go' for the sake of the baby. Well, it's 3 years later and she STILL FEELS THE SAME.

You say you're not happy either.

MOVE ON. Life is short. You can be as involved in your son's life as you CHOOSE to be. A mother and father who live separate but happy lives is MUCH HEALTHIER for him than a mother and father who 'exist' in the same house, but are miserable.


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