# Sex is painful



## phraebear55 (Jul 4, 2017)

So when my husband and I have sex, its very painful, ive tried everything from switching forms of contraceptive, slowing things down, lube, the only time sex is painless is when we drink. 

Anyone else deal with this? And how have you gotten through it? Its just making my marriage really difficult 

Sent from my LG-H873 using Tapatalk


----------



## mary35 (Jul 18, 2010)

How old are you? Have you seen a doctor? Has it always been painful?


----------



## phraebear55 (Jul 4, 2017)

mary35 said:


> How old are you? Have you seen a doctor? Has it always been painful?


21. It never used to be. Ive been to the doctor and have Endomitriosis. 

Sent from my LG-H873 using Tapatalk


----------



## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

Have you tried keeping track of the day of the month and your sexual pain. Sometimes with your condition worsens during certain times of your cycle.

If sex stays painful as it might I'd recommend your honest with your lover.

There are lots of satisfying activities you can engage in. Men are going to want to engage in sexual activity or feel rejected. You should also enjoy yourself.

You can try 69 or vibrators for you blow jobs hand jobs for him. I personally enjoy anal sex. This may help your husband relieve himself. If you go this route make sure to read and go slow. It isn't just wham bam at least not in the beginning. I have ever orgasmed this way though some report doing so. You'll need some clitoral stimulation. Or you can be brought to orgasm BEFORE.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

phraebear55 said:


> 21. It never used to be. Ive been to the doctor and have Endomitriosis.


Does your husband understand what Endometriosis is? Does he accept that the problem is real?


----------



## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

If the only time sex isn't painful is when you've been drinking, that suggests you're telaxed while drunk and conversely when not drunk you're tensing up so much your pelvic muscles are spasming. Not that this is something strictly under your control.

Do you feel tense during sex, or when sex is about to take place? 

Do you feel pain after sex or only during penetration and then no pain at all?

Do you use tampons comfortably?


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Why Sex Hurts With Endometriosis - Women's Health Center - Everyday Health

Why Sex Hurts With Endometriosis - Women's Health Center - Everyday Health


----------



## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

Is there something he wants to do or is doing that has you ill at ease? As @Anon Pink says, any tension or anxiety can result in painful sex.

Make sure you are fully aroused so you enlarge / extend sufficiently to accommodate him if that's the issue.

Perhaps you've become sensitive to antispermicide or lube. Or even latex.

My w has had very incredibly painful periods, most likely due to endometriosis. Also, she has some sort of curvature. So some positions are painful, but a slight change make all the difference. She likes face to face (missionary) but it's also painful at times so we alternate legs (mine hers mine hers) and that shift in angle makes a huge difference.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

phraebear55 said:


> Anyone else deal with this? And how have you gotten through it? Its just making my marriage really difficult


From your husband's point of view I can understand why this would be very difficult. He may try to convince himself that your pain is not real and you feel the way you do because you do not love him anymore. So you have to be very open and explain to him that this is not the case. 

Also if there is something that feels good (various forms of outercourse done during foreplay), make it a point to really explore THAT as a way to enjoy intimacy together. 

Instead of penetration, you could very gently rub yourself against him with ample lube. Then if that feels comfortable you could gradually increase pressure and that experience is fairly close to penetration. You and your husband could search "camel toe slide" on porn sites to see various demonstrations of this (if you are not offended by such material). 

My point is that it is important for you to try and find creative ways for you and your husband to enjoy intimacy together until you find a way to resolve or better understand what is causing pain. Once the topic of sex becomes something that causes stress, anxiety, and arguments, that will start to create additional challenges that will be emotionally painful to overcome. Emotional stress will only serve to make your physical pain worse and weaken your immune system.

Regards, 
Badsanta


----------

