# Any help would be helpful



## Cindypratt84 (Dec 15, 2017)

Ok so I'll just start from the beginning. When me and my husband first met I made it very clear I could no longer have children ( i had two ages 9 mo and 3 yr )and he said he was fine with it. We would just sit and just lay all of are card's out for both of us to see . In the 4 years before we married the biggest fight we had was over a lost pen and yes that's right a pen. Weeks be for we got married we put all of are card's out on the table again. We had lots of communication, we always talked about everything, well times go's on and life happens, stress got to my husband. My husband is from a Italian family and they are loud about everything. So with the raising of 2 kids its always been loud in are home. I'm not the best with confrontation I never have been. I tend to shut it out. Now we have been marries 9 years and my grandmother was sick and only had a week or two left so i went to see her and be with my family. When I'm there I get a call from my husband his uncle was found dead so i came home to be with him and his family. They day we buried his uncle I had got a call saying my grandmother only had hrs left I needed to come ( It was a 8 hr drive to her house ). So I took the drive alone as my husband did not want to go. At this point im filling alone I have 2 deaths do handle emotionally on my own. By the time I made it back home. I was a mess and my husband dove head first in to work. Between the both of us working We hardly saw each other anymore and when we did it was a fight about who was doing lundry or cooking or taking out the trash. As time went on i was getting more depressed and he was distancing him self from me. Telling me how other women would flirt with him or look at him so yes depression Made that worse I could not sleep or eat all i did was work. I didn't even want to go anywhere with him he would just point out who was flirty with him. Then his father got sick and passed away. He stopped kissing me stoped telling me he loves me stopped holding me dont want to do anything that has to do with me. 3 weeks be for are 9 year anniversary he tells me to move out. That he no longer wants to live with me. So I did, i did not want to make him more angry. Now it's been 3 months and i still can't see him with out crying. Every thought is about him. I cant seem to function. And he is taking vacations to places I wanted to go. I'm trying to give him space. I know i can be a hand full . I just want him to come home. He has told me. He will not devorice me but he can't live with me and the kids. That he wants me in his life but only as a friend. I dont know if i can do it. I want my husband not a friend 
I dont blame him for everything it takes 2 to tango. I dont know what to do anymore
Sorry I know it's long


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

He does not want to divorce you?
Why?

Because he would have to pay child support? Alimony?
Or you would lose your health insurance?
Is he fully supporting you?

I say file on him. 

Free him up.
Free yourself up.

Unless there is a remote chance he will come back.

You know he is sleeping with another woman, or other women, right?
Can you live with that?

I recommend getting free, getting child support [if due, those are not his children, right?].

I recommend starting over with a more compatible man.

Sorry you are here. 
It [normally] takes two to spoil a marriage. I believe he had a hand in your marriages failure, also. Do not take all the blame.


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## Cindypratt84 (Dec 15, 2017)

I dont know why I have asked why no devorice. He says he is just mad and needs time ( I blame it on him being 18 when we first met . No they are not his kids, he did want to adopt them, but i dont know now. I lost my job right be for we split so he gives me just enough to pay the bills. I have thought about just filing and just giving him the papers but if truth be told im hopping its his way of saying he will come home. I try to think I could just move on but i fill wrong.


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