# HiTech making it easier to catch cheaters.



## LucasJackson (May 26, 2016)

This is a good thing. Especially that stick that easily recovers deleted texts.


Catching a cheating partner has never been easier | New York Post


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## fleek (Jul 20, 2016)

I guess I don't understand the whole marriage police-transparency thing. The tech thing is a double edged sword - easy to get caught and easy to find workarounds. Burner phones, sideline apps, game chats, encrypted email, etc. A guy at work uses an older iPad solely to share his location from the office while he's banging some his side chick. Switches from his phone to his iPad on the fly. Forward your desk phone and he's all set. Gives his spouse a false sense of security. A motivated halfway intelligent cheater can easily outsmart the constant monitoring. 

You've got serious troubles if you need to constantly monitor your spouse.


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## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

I agree that a cheater who is technically savy has a better chance to hide inappropriate activity than the betrayed partner has to find evidence. The betrayed partner, no matter how tech savy, has to start from ground zero. With so many avenues and methods available to cheaters, it is hard to know where to start looking unless the betrayed just happens to stumble on something.

My thoughts are that the article is wrong, all the available technology makes it harder to catch a cheater.


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## Jacksgirl37 (Aug 10, 2016)

Only problem is....still NO way to retrieve deleted chats from Words with friends or old, deleted sent or received emails from Hotmail.


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## Jacksgirl37 (Aug 10, 2016)

"Want to recover your partner?s deleted instant messages? Plug his iPhone and this recovery stick into your PC. The device retrieves deleted iMessages, photos and Web history."

I have ran several programs on his old phone. But he never text messaged her, only chatted through words with friends chat. 

He never saved the photos she sent through email and I cannot find those photos in his emails from her or him on Hotmail. 

Not if he always used private browsers. 

These people can push as many gadgets and gizmos they want. But they have to be smarter than my husband and...that is not an easy thing to accomplish.


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## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

Jacksgirl37 said:


> "Want to recover your partner?s deleted instant messages? Plug his iPhone and this recovery stick into your PC. The device retrieves deleted iMessages, photos and Web history."
> 
> I have ran several programs on his old phone. But he never text messaged her, only chatted through words with friends chat.
> 
> ...


Is his old phone an Apple iPhone? If it is, then the latest recovery tools might only work on the latest phones - not the old ones. No iPhone here, so this is pure speculation.

If it is an Android phone I don't think the recovery stick from the article will do anything since the article specified iPhones.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Trust in technology can also provide a means of deception. If someone suspects that they are being watched, they can use technology to create a believable false trail.


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## Jacksgirl37 (Aug 10, 2016)

TDSC60 said:


> Jacksgirl37 said:
> 
> 
> > "Want to recover your partner?s deleted instant messages? Plug his iPhone and this recovery stick into your PC. The device retrieves deleted iMessages, photos and Web history."
> ...


IPhone 4s


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## Jacksgirl37 (Aug 10, 2016)

The problem is, there is no way to retrieve deleted chats from Words with friends...ever. And anything that was done over a year ago on that phone? Well, that data has been replaced with new data. The AP waited a year to come out and tell me about the affair. So it is all long gone. Apparently with my husband's memories. Ha!


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## confusednAlone (Aug 15, 2016)

Who needs fancy tech when old fashioned gumshoe tactics work better and acurate. Actually most of all the high tech resources are illegal but if you want the real truth you gotta go oldschool, which can be illegal as well. Not suggesting or endorsing, just for discussion sake. Can't erase what is seen or heard straight up. 

Who needs a signature?


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## poida (Jan 17, 2014)

LucasJackson said:


> This is a good thing. Especially that stick that easily recovers deleted texts.
> 
> 
> Catching a cheating partner has never been easier | New York Post


Sure, but it really matters not by then. It's usually too late.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

It's a double-edged sword, really -- easier in some cases, tougher in others.

What it often comes down to is which of the two (the BS or WS) is better at deception in the long term.

Sure, being perceptive and tech savvy (or at least more tech savvy than one's spouse) will help in terms of finding or concealing an affair, but a BS looking to get the goods on his/her WS or a WS attempting to hide an affair will still have to bluff at least a bit.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Kivlor (Oct 27, 2015)

Although there are ways to try to get around a lot of the tech savvy methods for catching a cheater, it's certainly easier to catch one today than it was say 40 years ago. You have to be actively covering your tracks, and actively watching for new ways to cover your tracks, if you want to stay ahead of the ever-changing curve that is electronics today.

Gus is right though, bluffing is always going to be a requirement for the BS. For many BS, it seems that the evidence isn't enough, but a confession is what they're looking for, and you're going to need to bluff your way to that.


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## confusednAlone (Aug 15, 2016)

Kivlor said:


> Although there are ways to try to get around a lot of the tech savvy methods for catching a cheater, it's certainly easier to catch one today than it was say 40 years ago. You have to be actively covering your tracks, and actively watching for new ways to cover your tracks, if you want to stay ahead of the ever-changing curve that is electronics today.
> 
> Gus is right though, bluffing is always going to be a requirement for the BS. For many BS, it seems that the evidence isn't enough, but a confession is what they're looking for, and you're going to need to bluff your way to that.


Agreed. Bluffing sometimes works better than actually having proof. Before I had my concrete proof, I bluffed and acted like I had much more than I did. Timing is critical and approach is also important. You get too pushy and they will push back. You have to do it carefully and precise. Like surgeory of the mind. Take the right approach and you will gain a lot more than you imagined and probably hoped for. 

Who needs a signature?


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## Quality (Apr 26, 2016)

TDSC60 said:


> I agree that a cheater who is technically savy has a better chance to hide inappropriate activity than the betrayed partner has to find evidence. The betrayed partner, no matter how tech savy, has to start from ground zero. With so many avenues and methods available to cheaters, it is hard to know where to start looking unless the betrayed just happens to stumble on something.
> 
> My thoughts are that the article is wrong, all the available technology makes it harder to catch a cheater.


A cheating tech savvy spouse has to be skillful all the time where the betrayed spouse only has to be minimally skillful + careful and get lucky once.

Back in the day I was successful with only a cassette mini-recorder I borrowed from my attorney. The newer smaller digital recorders and video cameras are much easier to work with. Hide it {them} wherever the target typically talks on their cell phone and you'll soon discover many truths. For the most part, cheaters still tend to trust talking on the phone in the car to their affair partner or just their girlfriend that knows the whole story (they usually have an enabler or two either pulling them down into the abyss with them or living vicaroiusly through them). 

Bluffing is high-risk if you have absolutely nothing concrete. But even a little hard proof can go a long way. I still think it's better to hold off a couple days and gather more ~~ especially if the affair partner is married because the other betrayed spouse likely needs some proof too when you expose. I also feel it's better to go out and get the facts yourself versus having to rely solely on the cheater providing it, piecemeal, and forever not knowing whether you really know it all. In the long run, I feel that conjecture about the facts is much harder to deal with than actually knowing. Take your time and don't confront to early. Get as many facts as you can while the facts are actually there for the taking and while they are occurring because relying on cheater recall sucks.

I always encourage snooping where there is any suspicion and even the mutual promise of it when there is not. I know I certainly behave better myself knowing my wife could be and should be, from time to time, holding me answerable for my behavior as I, from time to time, likewise can and should hold her accountable. Trust is build upon real facts, investigated independently versus blind trust which isn't really trust at all. I certainly don't feel like I live in a police marriage. Rather, I think, it's liberating because living a duplicitous life is stressful and unhealthy. Sure I could TRY to get around it, but why bother, it's just easier to be a good person, father and husband. In other words, my wife probably isn't spying on me today, tomorrow, next month or maybe not even this year BUT, if I behave as if she is watching or listening to me at any moment, then it's not a bother at all.


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## happydad (Apr 11, 2016)

I'm not sure if people know this, but beenverified.com shows what email addresses people use.


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## straightshooter (Dec 27, 2015)

The technology to catch them is out there, but the BH or BW has to have the "will" to get out of ther shock and paralysis to do it.

Too many times we read that this cheating goes on for months with enough red flags to start a red flag company and no action is taken.

To me, getting out of the denial and disbelief stage quickly is as important as being a tech wizard.


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## Yosemite (Aug 23, 2016)

^Agree with above. The technology is only so good if it's put to use.


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