# Obligation vs Commitment/Vow/Covenant



## wanttolove (Jan 25, 2012)

A few questions, none that I need answer to because I already know how I answer them. Really, I just want to start discussion. Plus, I saw a post on Obligation in another part of this forum and did not want to hijack the thread.

A. Is OBLIGATION the same as COMMITMENT? VOW? COVENANT?

B. Is COMMITMENT in its essence the same as VOW and COVENANT?

C. How do you define each of those terms in regards to marriage?

To me, I also made a commitment that includes staying true to the vow I made when I pledged myself in marriage to my wife. It's a commitment and a vow that I made in front of God and man, making it also a covenant. I believe that a covenant is stronger than a vow. A covenant is not intended to be broken.

To me, obligation is weak. There is no true commitment involved in obligation, only a debt. Yet I think obligation is a component of commitment and sometimes it demonstrates commitment. If I did not feel an obligation and commitment to my children, then I would have left them on their own when the going got tough. I would not have seen through the times when they were hard to deal with and not given them a chance to mature, even be sorry for what they have done (if it were something done against me). Obligation, commitment, often forces us to take the time to learn or to heal.


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## RockSteady1 (Feb 5, 2016)

Obligation is taking out the trash, commitment is an agreement, a vow is a promise


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

This is very deep subject. Like you, I believe an obligation is similar to a debt that needs to be paid. A commitment is a type of promise, but not as binding as a vow or a covenant. When we got married, we made a covenant with each other, and with God. Putting God in there was supposed to raise our vow, promise, commitment to a higher level, a holy one that included God, and could never be broken because God was the "glue." That is why my husband's infidelity threw me for such a loop. It turned our marriage into nothing but a broken promise, a deception and a joke.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Vow = a solemn promise.
synonyms:	oath, pledge, promise, bond, covenant, commitment, avowal, profession, affirmation, attestation, assurance, guarantee; 

Obligation: something that you must do because of a law, rule, promise, etc.
: something that you must do because it is morally right

I don't see the confusion or conflict between vow, commitment, duty, and obligation. If you make a promise you are obligating yourself. If you make a promise you have a duty to yourself and to the person or organization you made the promise to.

Marriage vows are serious promises. They aren't like kinda, sorta, statements of kinda, sorta, intent to do whatever we feel like when we happen to feel like, as long as the other party blows sufficient powder sugar up our behinds to keep a perpetual grin on our face.

If you buy a car and sign a loan note, you are making a commitment and you are agreeing to an obligation and you are honor bound to keep it. Our spouse should not get any less of a commitment and we are certainly no less obligated to our spouse than we would be to the bank, to a judge, to the military, to a police force, if we took an oath before them.


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## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

In marriage you can use whatever adjective but at the end of the day everything is voluntary and reversible however you define it. 

Between 33- 42% of married people are incompatible in marriage in UK. That means they chose the wrong person and they are going to suffer for it one way or the other. If they stay married they still suffer.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

unbelievable said:


> Vow = a solemn promise.
> synonyms:	oath, pledge, promise, bond, covenant, commitment, avowal, profession, affirmation, attestation, assurance, guarantee;
> 
> Obligation: something that you must do because of a law, rule, promise, etc.
> ...


Yep.
If I have an obligation, I'm going to meet it.
If I have made a covenant, I'm going to honor it. 
If I have made a vow, I'm going to honor it. 
If I have a commitment, I'm going to meet it.

Each of those words may have technically different origins, but they all require follow through, so for all practical purposes, they are essentially the same to me.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> Yep.
> If I have an obligation, I'm going to meet it.
> If I have made a covenant, I'm going to honor it.
> If I have made a vow, I'm going to honor it.
> ...


Exactly. I mean, I can say, "well, I promised, but I'm not obligated," but if I made a promise or vow and don't honor it, I'm kind of a douche.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Zombie. Closed. 

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk


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