# Why did my sister in-law do this? What should I do now?



## NostalgicConfusion (Aug 28, 2012)

I am curious if anyone could offer some advice to me as to what I should do about this situation. I am totally perplexed by what happened.

My Brother in-law and his wife have a somewhat rocky marriage that is entirely known to be unhappy and unfulfilled, yet they refuse to part ways. They also have a young child who is 6 years old.

This past weekend, my husband went on vacation with his brother (my brother in-law) and his brother's wife and their child. I was unable to go due to my work, but told my husband to go and have fun with them. It was only for a couple days at any rate.

They all stayed in a hotel room together on the very last night of their road trip to save money as the brother kept complaining about how much everything was costing. My husband even offered to pay for each of them to have a separate hotel room, but the couple refused and they all split a room with two queen beds. Fine. Enough room for the married couple to sleep together and my husband sleep with the nephew. 

My husband complained to me when he came home how unhappy he was with the trip and how he never wants to spend time with the wife again. We are all very agitated with her to begin with. She is very vocal about how unhappy she is in her marriage and is disrespectful. Also, in the past she has made petty references towards me eluding to me having some sort of fling with her husband (my now brother in-law, husband's brother) when we were teenagers....way before I met my husband or his brother met his now wife. Yes, I was friends with my brother in-law in the past....but no. There was nothing more than very young teens being friends for a brief period of time. She obviously thinks otherwise and I cannot change her mind, nor will I humor her petty attacks of random jealousy. I had actually entirely forgotten about this until now.

Today, we were at a family get together and the sister in-law said to me in a private conversation, out of the blue and unrelated to anything else......"My husband and son and your husband fell asleep before I did when we shared the hotel room. My son and husband fell asleep in the same bed, hahaha, so I ended up sleeping in bed with your husband."

WHOA! Okay....MY husband never told me about this and I am a little peeved at him for not saying anything. I KNOW nothing happened. But this is just weird and not appropriate. I really feel like he should have told me. Also, why on earth did she do what she did and then tell me in the manner she did as if she were rubbing it in my face?

She should have either crawled in bed with her husband and 6 year old son or picked up her 6 year old son and put him in bed with my husband instead of laying in bed with my husband. She is sick and twisted. The only thing I can think of is that she is somehow trying to make her husband and/or me jealous. 

What really gets me going though is the position she put my husband into. He had no clue until he woke up to her in bed with him that this was happening. 

I already could not stand her and really, no one else in the family can. We constantly wonder why they are still together.

I guess my question is, what would YOU do in a situation like this? I am so livid about what she did and why she did it. I feel bad for my husband, but on the other hand, I am upset with him for not telling me about this right away. I understand his feelings of hurt and confusion as to why she would put my husband in a situation like this without his knowledge or consent. And my god, this could be so confusing for my poor nephew to wake up and see his mother laying in bed with his uncle. 

This is so twisted, I am not sure how to respond. She always has something up her sleeve but I never saw this one coming. She not only upset her family, but she is messing with MY marriage to boot. 

Thoughts?


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## soulsearch (Aug 2, 2013)

The only thing you really can do about family members like that is just avoid them as much as possible. She sounds like a horrible person, so no one else is probably going to care.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

So you haven't discussed this yet with your husband? I wonder why he didn't tell you. It's something he should have told you so you wouldn't have been blindsided by it when she blurted it out. I'm concerned why he's kept it a secret from you until she told you leaving him no room other than to admit it.

You're sure that nothing happened between your SIL and your husband? I looked over some of your old posts. You've had issues with your husband from financial to hygiene to power struggles, putting down your career, not helping at home , etc. In one post you mentioned you two didn't have sex for a long period of time. Are you POSITIVE nothing happened during this trip? If you have some great reason for thinking that then it sounds to me like she wants to get a reaction from you and unsettle you by making you think something happened. It seems unlikely that something happened given that her own husband was asleep in the next bed, but I don't know, stranger things have happened. She could have touched him while he was asleep...who knows what she could have done. 

Your husband needs to avoid any other trips where she's present and you're not. This SIL is a toxic person and I would steer clear of her except for those occasions where you just can't bow out.

I can't share a room with someone other than my own parents, husband/kids. It just feels strange to have an in-law in the same room.


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## TBT (Dec 20, 2011)

Don't understand why,if your husband was willing to pay,he just didn't get a room for himself anyway? Btw.some people are just miserable.They like when others are in misery and they also like causing it.


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## ubercoolpanda (Sep 11, 2012)

I think you should ask your husband and have him confirm it. 

Surely when he woke up he would have seen her in the bed?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## inquizitivemind (Jul 16, 2013)

Definitely agree with the above. Have a serious discussion with your husband about this. It is NOT cool he didn't tell you about this before you heard it from your SIL. And as for what to do, you can only concentrate on bettering your marriage and making sure that is ok. Don't focus on the SIL. She is a really bad SIL and sounds like not a good friend either.


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## JustHer (Mar 12, 2013)

She is a narcissist. I am sure your husband was disgusted by it and her husband was livid. I can't imagine how miserable the ride home was.

Nevertheless, he should have said something to you. It was irresponsible of him to leave you to find out that way. But, according to what has been said about your other posts, sounds like typical behavior.

As for your SIL. I wouldn't even glance her way from now on. She would be on my IGNORE list.


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

I know nothing else about your story, NosCon, but the first thing I thought of when I read this was: How do you know she's not lying? Until you get this out in the open with your H, she's at least got you stewing and worrying about it. If she's angry about a (non-existent) fling between you and her husband, what better way to get back at you, than to suggest that something happened between her and _your_ husband? And it's working, isn't it? 

Talk it over with your husband. It could be that he never mentioned it because it never happened. Stay on guard to see make sure he's telling the truth, but keep in mind how toxic she is.


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