# Boyfriend going to bachelor party



## allsmiless (May 9, 2012)

Let me start by saying something so generic and make you wonder why I'm posting in the first place after I make the next statement.

My boyfriend and I have one of the BEST relationships out of people that I know. He has been married before. I moved 8 hours away from where we met, and he moved 6 months after me and now lives with me. He is ultimately the best friend I have ever had. We are a team by all means. I was working full time before he moved here. Since then, he now works full time and I only babysit on occasion. I do the housework and work on attending school full time while he supports us financially. We don't have plans to get married yet, though we do talk about it and children frequently. We're basically waiting until we are more financially stable. We have goals individually (school etc) but we ultimately have our goals that come together and form our goal, having the same outcome in life, etc. This is basically the gist of things.

Now for my question, in a few months we are going to be traveling about 15 hours to one of his best friend's weddings. The plans are not set in stone. I do not know these people yet, all I know is things that he has told me, and he truly does think these are some of the most important people so needless to say I am excited to meet them because "they are going to be in my life for a very long time" (according to the boyfriend). 

So when my boyfriend had his bachelor party when he was married before, he was quite a bit younger than he is now. His friends opted for strippers, I'm not sure how it all broke down, but they stayed in a hotel and ended up paying the strippers for activities. (My boyfriend openly told me about all of this, I didn't even have any idea he had a bachelor party at the time). He told me that he got a hand job and he isn't sure what the other people did. Well one of the other people who participated in whatever activity that he participated in, this is his wedding that we are going to. 

We are staying at his friend's house for the few days that we will be in town. During the bachelor party I'm going to be hanging out with the bride-to-be that I don't know as of now. The bachelor party is going to be about 45 minutes from where everyone is from, and apparently the groom and best man informed my boyfriend that they are going to be staying overnight at a hotel and coming back the next afternoon. So it comes to this: I trust my boyfriend because we have obviously built our relationship on trust and communication because we were apart for 6 months at the beginning of our relationship, neither him nor I have given the other person a reason to not trust the other. However, my boyfriend's hand job at his bachelor party makes me very uncomfortable. 

We talked before and he said if there was going to be a possibility of a hotel, he would want me to show up at the end of the night and stay with him OR he would want me to come get him. I think this was incase someone decides to do the stripper thing or more realistically because he has voiced he doesn't want to be away from me too long. I want him to go and have a good time, which I voiced. Though I am VERY uncomfortable about him staying in the hotel. Should I maybe talk to him and say alright this is what I'm comfortable with, how do you feel and then we can both say what we are and aren't comfortable with, if someone or something steps out of line, he calls me at the end of the night no matter what and we can make the decision if i'm going to go pick him up?

Any advice would be great. Thank you.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

allsmiless said:


> I trust my boyfriend...



There is your answer right there. If you say you trust him, then that's the end of the story. No dilemma. What he did at another bachelor party before you met is irrelevant if you're saying flat out that you trust your boyfriend. 

He's a human being, nothing you can do will "save" him from getting a handjob, even if you pick him up and and he avoids this specific set of circumstances. He's a big boy, and if he loves you, and is worthy of that trust, he won't need you, or anyone, to swoop in and come save him from cheating on you.

So that's my advice. If he's the man you trust, then it doesn't matter.


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

What a turn off!!!
@Jaquen - it's not all irrelevant. If he had a hand-job at his first bachelor party then he can have it again at his second one. 
I'd feel uncomfortable if I were in the OP's shoes.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

I say talk to him about it. Let him know how you're feeling inside, and be open to what he has to say. If he's open with you and not defensive then my guess is that you don't have anything to worry about.

I think the fact that he was honest about what happened at the first bachelor party speaks volumes... A lot of guys wouldn't mention that to a girlfriend, knowing it *could* color her opinion of him. Obviously he trusted you with that information, which is a very positive thing.

I completely understand your position, though. I'd feel really awkward about it, trust or no trust - that feeling you feel - of wanting to protect and preserve your relationship - is a normal and natural one. He will understand this better if you are able to make statements about how YOU feel and less about what HE will or will not be doing...

I hope I've helped, and best of luck! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## allsmiless (May 9, 2012)

YinPrincess said:


> I say talk to him about it. Let him know how you're feeling inside, and be open to what he has to say. If he's open with you and not defensive then my guess is that you don't have anything to worry about.
> 
> I think the fact that he was honest about what happened at the first bachelor party speaks volumes... A lot of guys wouldn't mention that to a girlfriend, knowing it *could* color her opinion of him. Obviously he trusted you with that information, which is a very positive thing.
> 
> ...



I think you've said it best!! We have a very open line of communication. It puts my mind to ease a lot when I sit and think that at least he told me. This is insecurity is something of mine, which I need to figure out how to get away from. I know he loves me and wouldn't do anything to mess it up. I'm not one of those naive girls who say this regardless lol. I've been in a serious relationship before and it was hell. This relationship is completely opposite with so much love and companionship. When I sit here and think about it, he knows how I feel about it. He knows that if he were to do something I wouldn't approve of that he wouldn't have me anymore. Why would someone move 8 hours away from their family to be with someone and mess it up all in one night? That really makes no sense. He's given up a lot to be with me. I need to really give him more credit than I am. It's really helped to vent on here, thank you.


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## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

When I was 24 and planning my wedding, my biggest fear was my future hubby's bachelor party. I had nightmares, I started fights, I got mad at him. He never gave me a reason to think he would cheat with a stripper. We, like you and your man, were a team, best friends, and I did trust him. 

But then my friends start telling stories about what they saw at other bachelor parties (at the time, ALL of my friends were men, I worked in a male dominated workplace), some men view it as one last night to screw another woman before committing to just one woman for the rest of their lives.

Truth be told, if he is going to cheat or get a hand job, he is going to do it and there isn't a damned thing you can do about it. Secondly, I have heard that the strippers are just part of the party. Most of it is gambling and drinking. 

What I wasn't expecting is how my bachelorette party went. THAT almost stopped the wedding. Male strippers are very bold and I was molested all night by them (I had two). They would sit naked on my lap, kiss my neck, touch my legs and whisper in my ear that they wanted me. At the end of the night, I was covered in glitter and totally grossed out. One stripper actually pulled out his d!ck so only I could see it, and asked me to play with it! I told him to get bent! Then the other stripper pounced on me and tried to get me to grab his naked butt! Needless to say, I was turned off because this party was to celebrate my upcoming wedding, not to play with hairy ballz of some dude!

If you really trust him, things will be okay. But since he admitted he got a hand job at his last party, and told you about it, that it is bad form for him to have another bachelor party with strippers . His telling you about the hand job was not a smart thing to do because it put you on high alert. Of course you are going to react and be jealous! Some information should be kept secret just for your peace of mind. Now you are going to be worried the whole night of his party and that is not fair to you at all.

You need to talk to him some more. He may ignore your feelings or tell you not to worry, but he is the one who planted the seed!!!! Why would he tell you such a thing? 

What is usually the young groom's downfall is peer pressure from their drunk friends. Chanting for the bachelor to do stuff to the stripper and if he doesn't, he will look like a p*ssy. No man wants to look like a p*ssy in front of his friends. 

The only thing that will make both of you feel better is if he MUST have naked women for his party, GO TO A STRIP CLUB. The women cannot be touched there. It is NOT intimate so private BJ's in the bathroom do not happen. Do you think you could talk him into that? And if he gives you that crap "I am not planning the party, my best man is." SCREW THAT. YOUR feelings are more important than some horny dude who wants to oggle chicks.


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## allsmiless (May 9, 2012)

endlessgrief said:


> When I was 24 and planning my wedding, my biggest fear was my future hubby's bachelor party. I had nightmares, I started fights, I got mad at him. He never gave me a reason to think he would cheat with a stripper. We, like you and your man, were a team, best friends, and I did trust him.
> 
> But then my friends start telling stories about what they saw at other bachelor parties (at the time, ALL of my friends were men, I worked in a male dominated workplace), some men view it as one last night to screw another woman before committing to just one woman for the rest of their lives.
> 
> ...



It's not his bachelor party, but his best friend's. The best friend was at my boyfriend's bachelor party, where the hand job occurred. That's what is making me skeptical about it. But truth be told, if he's going to do it, he's going to do it. Would he be able to look me in the eyes the day after? I absolutely do not think so. Bottom line is, I have to trust him. I have to trust that he believes in this relationship enough not to do something stupid and naive to jeopardize that in the first place, which I believe.


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## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

allsmiless said:


> It's not his bachelor party, but his best friend's. The best friend was at my boyfriend's bachelor party, where the hand job occurred. That's what is making me skeptical about it. But truth be told, if he's going to do it, he's going to do it. Would he be able to look me in the eyes the day after? I absolutely do not think so. Bottom line is, I have to trust him. I have to trust that he believes in this relationship enough not to do something stupid and naive to jeopardize that in the first place, which I believe.


Trusting someone with your heart is a wonderful thing. He needs to know that if he breaks that trust, all you two have built together will be burnt to the ground.


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## allsmiless (May 9, 2012)

endlessgrief said:


> Trusting someone with your heart is a wonderful thing. He needs to know that if he breaks that trust, all you two have built together will be burnt to the ground.



Yes, and he flat out said to me that he wouldn't do anything to lose me. I think I really needed this post to just write it out and really lay out my feelings lol.


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## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

allsmiless said:


> Yes, and he flat out said to me that he wouldn't do anything to lose me. I think I really needed this post to just write it out and really lay out my feelings lol.


That is what this site is for. I am kinda a newby to this site myself, but I find getting to rant and get my feelings out there, it helps me put things in perspective and by reading other's comments, I know that I am not alone. People on TAM really do care and I am forever grateful I found TAM.

You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and have a good and honest relationship. I personally think everything will be just fine. If he knows what he would be losing, and he does, this will just be a memory you two will look upon years from now and laugh.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

lovelygirl said:


> What a turn off!!!
> @Jaquen - it's not all irrelevant. If he had a hand-job at his first bachelor party then he can have it again at his second one.
> I'd feel uncomfortable if I were in the OP's shoes.


You missed my point.

It is irrelevant if the OP's claim that she trusts her boyfriend is true.

What he did at the former bachelor party when he was not in a relationship with her is relevant IF, in fact, she does NOT trust her boyfriend.

Can't have it both ways. She either trusts him, or she doesn't. If she does, this conversation shouldn't even be happening.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Trust is one thing, but why allow yourself to be in a situation where the temptation is there? That goes for both partners. Your boyfriend has already told you he would rather not be in a hotel room with his buddies and not you. He's telling you he doesn't want to be put in a situation where he could get tempted. He's trying to make the best of a bad situation here and needs your help.

Was he dating anyone when this previous bachelor party happened?

If it were me, I'd be picking my hubby up before he went anywhere near that hotel room. ESPECIALLY given the history here. Strippers in hotel rooms giving hand jobs and who knows what else?? I'm sorry, he's not going near that. I would also make sure that somehow this future bride was made aware of this possibility.


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## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

Yikes. What was his opinion about the HJ he received during his bachelor party? He effectively cheated on his soon-to-be wife days before the wedding? Ouch.

I completely understand your concern. At the root of it, everyone else is right - there ain't a darn thing you cab do about it and you have to trust him.

However, its smart of you to be leery. I don't know why in this situation the consensus is that your BFs past is irrelevant, when in other threads I have seen people say "once a cheater, always a cheater." 

I had a similar situation with my husband. Some of his friends are pretty wild and definitely wanted to push limits at their bachelor parties (idolizing movies like the hangover)
I heard stories about strippers, and one time the bachelor got arrested.

It wasn't even that I didn't trust my husband it was just that I often feel like the company you keep says a lot about who you are as a person. Why would he even want to be involved in strippers when he's committed to me and wouldn't be touching them? Why would you want to watch your friends getting HJ?? The whole thing sleeved me out and made me look at him like ew, you are not the type of person I thought you were.

I got over it. You will have to find a way to get over it too. Try to be happy for him and supportive that he has a good time. Those were the few situations where I absolutely didn't let my husband know how I really felt ans just sucked it up and a few days/weeks later I let it go.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gav (Nov 13, 2011)

It's all well and good to say that you trust him.

I wouldn't. I wouldn't trust myself either.

So I choose not to put myself in those situations.

Even if I DID trust myself, I know my wife would have a problem with it, so I choose to respect her in that way.

I don't recall offhand where I heard it first, but paraphrased, "you get into trouble when you go to stupid places and do stupid things"

This is playing with fire.


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## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

The husband of a good friend of mine admitted to sleeping with a stripper at his bachelor party.

So it shouldn't surprise her now he's a cheating you know what and treats her like she's a skanky who-er. She's called me to tell me of his latest shennanigans and strange sexual requests. I just smh.


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## WhereAmI (Nov 3, 2010)

He got a hand job during HIS bachelor party, for crying out loud! He was presumably 100% in love with his wife and prepared to spend the rest of his life with her. If he did it to her, why wouldn't he do it to you? 

Assuming he didn't talk about the HJ incident in an "I'm so disgusted with my behavior" way, I wouldn't feel comfortable with him being around strippers.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

either you trust him or not.


if you don't then don't marry him.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

life is full of temptations. What next you don't trust him to go out with his friends.


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## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

I know guys who have NOT gone to those lengths at their bachelor party. They just didn't want to... they were marrying the love of their life. 

Some guys don't see it that way.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

kag123 said:


> However, its smart of you to be leery. I don't know why in this situation the consensus is that your BFs past is irrelevant, when in other threads I have seen people say "once a cheater, always a cheater."



We don't all share a collective brain. I am the one who said that IF she trusts her boyfriend, his previous handjob is irrelevant, and I have never, in my entire life, on TAM or otherwise, said "once a cheater, always a cheater". So what others said in some other thread is irrelevant to my point.



chillymorn said:


> either you trust him or not.
> 
> 
> if you don't then don't marry him.



Period. End of story. People are acting like her finding a way to get him away from this particular bachelor party is going to make a damn bit of difference. If the man is intent on cheating on her, he can get a handjob from another woman anytime he wants, or more. And that's my entire point. Trust him, or don't trust him. It's that simple. A lot of women think they can keep their men from straying, but sorry, you never can, and you never will. If a man makes a decision to cheat, he's going to cheat. And a man devoted to his significant other isn't going to get a cheap handjob from a stripper at some bachelor party, no matter what the other guys are doing.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

The fact she trusts him is irrelevant. Frankly I don't believe she really does, otherwise why this post?? He has all but told her he doesn't trust HIMSELF, by telling her he either wants her there or doesn't want to be there.

Many, if not most, guys are trustworthy from day to day. Less are trustworthy in a situation such as she describes. Her boyfriend may very well not participate in sex with strippers if the opportunity is right in his face. He has said he doesn't want to be put in that situation. If she blithely says "It's ok honey, I trust you" she might as well hire the stripper for him herself.

There are guys who would never go actively looking for someone to cheat with. And there are guys who would never cheat even if a stripper landed on his lap naked and he happened to have his pants down. There are also guys who would never go looking, but if the opportunity presented itself they just go with the flow. Many guys (and their SO's) don't find out which they are till they land there. Why allow yourself to land there?

(disclaimer: the same is true for women, I say 'guys' because we're talking about a guy here)


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

These types of bachelor parties aren't relationship friendly. No way I'd be comfortable with private stripper bachelor parties and my man attending it. NOPE! Not going to happen anymore than me dressing up and dancing with men at a club.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Well if he`s socially trapped into going then just get a room at the same hotel they`re having the party and when the drinking is over he can go to your room for a hand job.

Shouldn`t matter where he`s sleeping.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Bah. No way I'd put up with that, especially since he is an admitted cheater. And ya, a hand job is cheating. And it's probably been downplayed, to be sure.

JMO! good luck!


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## SabrinaBlue (Apr 18, 2012)

He told you that he paid a stripper to give him a hand job on the eve of his wedding to his ex-wife. Then he told you that he really doesn't want to get a room with the guys on this upcoming bachelor party night. Seems to me he's laying it right out there: he doesn't trust _himself_, and he wants your help.

So your choice is to either help him out by keeping him away from a potential situation, or, let him go and likely get caught up in it, all the while stewing in mistrust that you're trying to tell yourself you don't feel.

Or, third option, get a boyfriend who doesn't pay strangers for HJs.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

SabrinaBlue said:


> He told you that he paid a stripper to give him a hand job on the eve of his wedding to his ex-wife.


Holy crap how did I miss that.

And some of you actually think she should just blindly trust this guy?????????????????????????????? Wow.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Hope1964 said:


> Holy crap how did I miss that.
> 
> And some of you actually think she should just blindly trust this guy?????????????????????????????? Wow.



If she can't "blindly trust this guy", what in the world is she doing with him at all?

THAT is the point. Any guy begging you to come stay with him at a bachelor party is telling you, point blank, "I am not to be trusted". What some of us are trying to help her see is that perhaps her trust isn't as strong as she says, or that he's not as trustworthy.

She either trusts him, or she doesn't. Some of this advice is beginning to sound very dated. Like the concept that one woman can "steal" a man from another woman. Trust me, we can play dumb sometimes, but we men know exactly what we're doing. If this woman's man wants a handjob, he'll get a handjob.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

jaquen said:


> Any guy begging you to come stay with him at a bachelor party is telling you, point blank, "I am not to be trusted". What some of us are trying to help her see is that perhaps her trust isn't as strong as she says, or that he's not as trustworthy.
> .


I said pretty much the same thing in an earlier post


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

Well, the reason why she made a thread about it means she doesn't fully trust him. If I were her, I'd feel the same.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't blindly trust anyone. I've seen too much...I try not to have a cynical view of people, but for me, the trust has to be earned. IE, if my fiance had come and told me about his stripper hand job the night before his first wedding? Well, his second wedding wouldn't have been to me. It's all down to what you're willing to accept. I was dating someone, briefly, who admitted that he'd been with a prostitute; that was the dealbreaker. I can't be with someone who uses those types of services. JMO of course.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

CandieGirl said:


> I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't blindly trust anyone. I've seen too much...I try not to have a cynical view of people, but for me, the trust has to be earned. IE, if my fiance had come and told me about his stripper hand job the night before his first wedding? Well, his second wedding wouldn't have been to me. It's all down to what you're willing to accept. I was dating someone, briefly, who admitted that he'd been with a prostitute; that was the dealbreaker. I can't be with someone who uses those types of services. JMO of course.


Seems like the flaw is in that they told you. Because you have no idea some of the men you've been with have been up to before they got with you. 

Looks like the real goal for future guys is to pick this up, and just lie.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

jaquen said:


> Seems like the flaw is in that they told you. Because you have no idea some of the men you've been with have been up to before they got with you.
> 
> Looks like the real goal for future guys is to pick this up, and just lie.


:scratchhead: What, I'm not allowed to be picky? Sorry, but I'm not interested in men who use those types of services. This guy did me a favor by telling me, IMO.

As for men who'd lie about it? Might get away with it for awhile, but it'd all come out evetually, as it usually does. And it would still be a dealbreaker for me, don't care how much time I'd invested.


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## viggling (Apr 27, 2012)

to me there is no reason not to trust him. seems like he is telling you this to be honest with you .. but! you can take steps to make sure he doesent have the desire for another woman .. have sex with him right before he goes to the party both of you will get off and its a win win situation ..


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

SabrinaBlue said:


> He told you that he paid a stripper to give him a hand job on the eve of his wedding to his ex-wife. Then he told you that he really doesn't want to get a room with the guys on this upcoming bachelor party night. Seems to me he's laying it right out there: he doesn't trust _himself_, and he wants your help.
> 
> So your choice is to either help him out by keeping him away from a potential situation, or, let him go and likely get caught up in it, all the while stewing in mistrust that you're trying to tell yourself you don't feel.
> 
> Or, third option, get a boyfriend who doesn't pay strangers for HJs.


So yeah. This shows low character. Someone who cannot be trusted.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

It's fantastic that the guy's honest. Not so fantastic that he uses wh*ores. It's completely up to the OP to accept that or not.


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## Cherie (May 9, 2012)

Not all relationships are the same! Just because he cheated once when he was younger on someone else doesn't mean he'll do it now on her. 

People grow. I've cheated on an ex before and it was a testiment to our relationship that probably should have never been in the first place. 

All I will say to the OP is don't beat him up about something he did before he knew you and was honest to you about. That will prevent him from sharing in the future, and can cause resentment towards you for holding it against him. 

IF YOU trust him and he's given you no reason not to, holding this against him is not fair. 

Just my .02


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

viggling said:


> have sex with him right before he goes to the party both of you will get off and its a win win situation ..


Really??

So everytime he goes somewhere she should have sex with him because she's afraid he'll do something beyond bounderies? 
So you are telling her to have sex out of fear and not out of pleasure??
Fear is the element that keeps the couple together??


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

lovelygirl said:


> Really??
> 
> So everytime he goes somewhere she should have sex with him because she's afraid he'll do something beyond bounderies?
> So you are telling her to have sex out of fear and not out of pleasure??
> Fear is the element that keeps the couple together??


I just want to go on record as saying that from the husbands point of view this is just fine. Not out of fear but just because we guys would really like this.


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

lovelygirl said:


> Really??
> 
> So everytime he goes somewhere she should have sex with him because she's afraid he'll do something beyond bounderies?
> So you are telling her to have sex out of fear and not out of pleasure??
> Fear is the element that keeps the couple together??


Yeah, I could really imagine the resentment, anger and possible hatred that would ooze all over that relationship at some point. I have sex with my partner because I love, desire and respect him. Not because I fear him going out and getting it from someone else. I wouldn't be in a relationship if fear held it together. Crap on that.


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

Entropy3000 said:


> I just want to go on record as saying that from the husbands point of view this is just fine. Not out of fear but just because we guys would really like this.


Well sorry I wasn't talking about what guys like.
The previous poster suggested she gives him sex before he goes there. THAT'S SEX OUT OF FEAR and I REFUSE TO PUT UP WITH THIS NONSENSE! 

And saying you are just guys and you like it, is a LAME excuse beaten to death!


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

ScaredandUnsure said:


> Yeah, I could really imagine the resentment, anger and possible hatred that would ooze all over that relationship at some point. I have sex with my partner because I love, desire and respect him. Not because I fear him going out and getting it from someone else. I wouldn't be in a relationship if fear held it together. Crap on that.


Exactly. that was my point.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Yup. Just like feeding him before going out to eat, so he doesn't eat too much at the restaurant.


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## Toshiba2020 (Mar 1, 2012)

Bachelor party at a stripp club, yeah sure thats fine, no big deal.

Private show and you know he has a history of doing stuff when he shouldnt be, no good. If i were in your shoes i wouldnt let him go or for gods sake make him be the DD for the night, hopefully he'll make a better judgment call that way.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

viggling said:


> to me there is no reason not to trust him. seems like he is telling you this to be honest with you .. but! you can take steps to make sure he doesent have the desire for another woman .. have sex with him right before he goes to the party both of you will get off and its a win win situation ..



Lets put aside the fact that this is a bad idea, please tell me how her sexing up her boyfriend before going to the party is going to guarantee that he doesn't get it on with a stripper?


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## allsmiless (May 9, 2012)

I think everyone has made some pretty valid points. Some I agree with, some I don't. Let's not forget we were apart for almost 8 months of our relationship. With that said, we RARELY will voluntarily give up spending our nights together unless it is an emergency or one of us goes home for a few days to see family, etc. I think that is why he wants me to either pick him up or stay with him. 

I do like the idea of having a hotel room in the same hotel as them and he can just come to our room instead of the guys' room. I think people are straying from the fact that this is a bachelor's party for his best friend, someone who was also in attendance for my boyfriend's previous handjob bachelor party. This was almost 10 years ago, so he has clearly done some growing up. 

I think it's good that he was honest with me about what happened at his bachelor party whether I like it or not. I have previously cheated in a relationship, but I had the smarts to get out of it. His ex is a real nut job so it should have been a big sign to him, but it wasn't. 

And yes, if I posted this clearly I have a trust issue if that's what you want to say. BUT, I have talked to my boyfriend about this but I don't want to have some huge feud over something we have already discussed. That just brings a sour mood about the whole thing and that's going to push him away. 

We've decided to be completely honest with each other and have open communication, which led to me finding this information out. I am completely thankful that he felt he could trust me knowing this information and not freak out about it thinking he would do it to me. That is what I need to pride myself on.


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