# What does my husband want



## MrsQualls (Jan 29, 2012)

Me and Hubby have been married for 1 year and 1 month. The last 7 months of it, however, we have been separated. The separation involved a really big fight, where things got way out of hand. At this time, I felt a divorce would probably be the best thing for us. Ok prior to this relationship ending fight, things were rocky. Hubby wanted to have a baby really bad. I already have 3 kids from a previous relationship, and he has 1. I did not want anymore kids. We talked about it, and I decided I would go through with it. Honestly, I didn't believe I could get pregnant as I had ovarian cysts at the time, that made achieving pregnancy very difficult. So we tried and tried, and it was not happening. In the back of my mind, I was kinda happy about it. But then I started seeing how unhappy he was. We would take pregnancy tests and he would say things like "you already know what it's gonna say, why are we wasting our money on the test." He even asked how I felt about adoption. This made me really want to give him a child. I started researching fertility treatments and such, and I even started looking into getting the cysts removed. So anyway, we continue on in this rocky relationship, and as I said the fight occurred. This was back on June 20, 2012. I was thinking this was the last straw and that maybe the best thing would be to just go our separate ways. Then on July 13, 2012, I found out I was 5 weeks pregnant. It was a total shock to me because I had already accepted that this was not going to happen without some type of procedure being done first. I looked at it as something that was meant to happen. Honestly, this pregnancy is the only thing that made me contact hubby after our fight. I wanted to several times, I missed him, and I still loved him, but I was putting my feelings aside to do what I thought was best, which was to divorce. So I contacted hubby, and at first he was pissed that I contacted him, then he was happy, then he questioned it, and I can't even remember what else. He went through every possible emotion. Long story short, I am now 8 months pregnant and we are still separated, as his job has required him to be in a different state. He still kinda goes back and forth with the whole baby situation. One minute he is happy and excited, says he wants a boy, the next minute he says he doesn't believe the baby is his. If it's a boy he wants it named after him though. Let me also add this. I have done research and found out about prenatal paternity testing. I gave him this option and he rejected it. He also tells me he loves me and wants to get back with me. Then he says he's not "in love" with me and wants a divorce. Where do I stand in all of this? I'm to the point now where I really don't care either way. Well let me not say I don't care. I do. I love him. I want us to be together and be a family, but at the same time I know I can't make him want the same thing if it's not what he wants. When I made the decision to divorce back in June, I went ahead and had the paperwork prepared so that I could file. I still have these papers, and they are still valid. I just don't know what it is that he wants. I'm convinced he doesn't want a divorce, because everytime he says that and I say ok well pay to have the papers filled, he comes up with an excuse as to why he can't. Then like I said, some days he loves me. I think he may even have a girlfriend or something where he is, I don't know, but I know he's sleeping with someone. My point, if we are going to be together then let's be together. If we are going to get the divorce, lets get the divorce so I can move on and start getting over it. I think he wants me to chase him or something, or beg for him to come back to me. I have no idea what the man wants, or what kind of game he is playing. I wish someone could help me understand his logic and let me know what it is I need to do. Any thoughts????


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## Emma1981 (Apr 29, 2010)

You commented on my post about the similarities in our situations - I guess I am having trouble finding the correlation, thus I could offer better advice.

Things sound tumultuous from the beginning - how long were you two dating prior to marriage? Was it always rocky or was there a pattern of "normalcy" that you two had prior to tying the knot?

You speak of a fight that seems to be a rather large turning point in your relationship. Can you elaborate?


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