# Not knowing what's honna happen with our housing situation



## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

I feel I have hit rock bottom with not knowing where we will live. Our house is in foreclosure which happens on 5/16. All along we have been waiting to get our tax return back so we can rent a house and then file our bankrupcy. Well we have had our tax return for a while. We are also moving out of state because work in our current state is inadequate for my husband to stay employed. We have been living off unemployment since Febuary. 

We just got back from the state we are going to move too, we were looking at houses there. We did get a yes answer on 1 house, but my husband drug his feet on it. He finally decided he did want to rent that house yesterday. Now the house is rented and there is nothing available. 

So now my Husband is thinking he's going to file bankrupcy and me and the kids will stay in our house cause foreclosure will get stalled. My Husband will go to the other state snd work. 

I'm so tired of being in limbo. I'm depressed and now that we may not be leaving I have to look at our yard which has all died. Everything that I worked so hard on and I still have to stay and look at it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

3leafclover said:


> Sorry, I don't know your history that well. Are you both filing bankruptcy or just your husband? I did skim a few past posts and saw that y'all just reconciled a few months ago. He had an affair during separation, right? And you guys have had some rough patches since with decreased intimacy.
> 
> I don't think I'd be comfortable staying with the kids in a house that's being foreclosed upon. I also don't think I'd be comfortable with another separation so soon after an affair and reconciliation. I'd probably take a rental that wasn't quite what I wanted before letting that happen. Heck, I'd probably stay - kids and all - in one of those cheap extended stay hotels before doing that. Just because a place isn't available today doesn't mean it won't be soon. Does your husband already have the new job there and does he already know what day he'll start work?
> 
> It seems odd your husband would change his mind on the only rental available. I think your goal should still be to move together. Are you getting any gut feelings regarding this situation? Are you certain he wants you and the kids to join him? Your situation is reminding me of being left with a baby in a place that had an eviction notice on the door (ex had been saying the rent was paid for months, but secretly setting it aside for his new place). Not a good situation to be left to deal with all alone.


Both my husband and I are filing bankrupcy together. We have not filed yet because we are going to rent a house first with the money from our tax return. Plus my husband needs to go to work first. He is union attached and will be working as soon as we get to where we will be living. 

We have another application in on a house and are waiting for a yes or no from the agent of the house. Our particar realtor said that she doesn;t think the agent on the house is in a hurry to get the house rented or she is saving it for her clients. 

I'm so frustrated with having more than enough money set aside for rent, security deposit and application fees and still not renting anything. I'm ready to pack everything in the house and leave!!!

I've told my husband that maybe we should stay in a extend a stay, but he doesn't seem to want to do that. I'm sure hes afraid of how the kids will react and being stuck in a tiny place even if its for a little bit. Our kids are special needs, Our son is 7 with autism and our oldest daughter is 11 with aspergers or possibly autism. Our youngest will be 4 soon and she does not have autism.

I'm feeling like since we really have not been ablet o start our normal life together sicne reconsiling that we are still not that far into reconsiling. How can you begin to even heal with the stress of not knowing where you will live and not having the healthy space awqay from eachother everyday to start to rebuild trust.

His sexual desire is greatly effected by stress which is a trigger to the past for me.


----------



## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Oh, blue, I'm thinking of you today.


----------



## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

We have not heard anything about whether the house sold at auction or not. My Husbsnd has decided that me snd the kids are going to go stay at his parents house and he is going out of state to work. He will live in a month to month studio type place for about $500 per month with utilities and TV included. We are unable to rent a house because of our credit. No one will even give us a chance to rent a thing even those type of apartments that say bad credit ok and even though my Husband will be making over $10k gross per month. We have not filed bankrupcy yet, we can't do that until my Husband goes out if state and starts working on a type job where he can't have a bankrupcy when starting. He's union so he's job attached now, just has to get down there as soon as his family is settled with a stable roof over our heads.

I'm not looking forward to being without him after our seperation and I'm not looking forward to living with his parents at all. I get along with FIL, but not MIL at all. I've planned to keep myself busy. I'm getting a zoo membership and spending as much time during the summer with my mom and local friends as possible.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

My son has autism and I'm on a autism group with a few friends locally, one I've met in person already. So I have planned to take my kids to the zoo, to the park where there is water features and any other place I can think of. I don't want to spend my days at home having my kids raised by his parents. Where my kids totally disregard me around my husbands parents.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

Also I've just been told my son needs his tonsils removed, so I'm going to get that scheduled ASAP. He's just been diagnosed with severe childhood psoriasis that's caused by the strep bacteria plus he gets several infections.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

There is a chance that we may move to the state my husband will be working, in late August. I'm just not holding out much hope because so many rentals have fallen through. This ones owner is a friend of my husbands cousin and doesn't do credit checks. 

I'm having a hard time dealing with my husband sexual disconnect when he's stressed and knowing he's going to be leaving for months. Since he's moved back into our house at the very beginning of the year, we have only made love maybe 2 handful of times. 

I want the happy times we had when we moved into our house a about 8 years ago. We were so happy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

3leafclover said:


> Glad you came back to update. Wow, you've got a lot of things going on, any one of which would be more than enough stress for anybody. Make sure you take care of yourself somewhere in all of that.
> 
> And keep looking for a rental. There are a LOT of people trying to rent their homes now in order to move because of the way the selling market is right now. You'd be amazed how many of these newbie landlords still fail to do a complete credit check, and some of them are pretty desperate. Offer more than what they ask for. Like, if they ask for deposit and first month's rent, offer deposit, first month's rent, and last month's rent. Also, look for unconventional rentals...sublets, etc.
> 
> You _will_ eventually find a taker. It's just going to be frustrating in the meantime, and you may have to settle for a place you don't like while your credit is bouncing back. I don't see that your credit would improve after bankruptcy for at least a couple of years (and that's if you start quickly building it back), and I'm guessing you don't want to be with the in-laws for that long.


:iagree: Credit check is often just a formality. We have good credit and when we moved into this building in March, the supers did not even look at our credit because my husband gave them a money order for first and last. It's all about "Show me the money!" 

Is there anyone who could cosign for you?


----------



## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

We have been told that since we are not residents of AZ and the rental market there is hopping that no one will look at us to rent to us. 

Right now we are getting ready to move into my hUsbands parents house and then my husband will be leaving for work. Part of me cant wait to get out of this house and settled in his parents house so I don't have to worry about moving anymore. So that I can get busy with positive things instead of the negative, but I'll be doing the positive with out my husband which feels weird since we not too long ago were going through divorce and started the reconsialtion process in Nov and he moved back in Jan

NO no one can co sign a rentl house for us and we would not ask

We just have to go through what feels like the hardest reconsilation process after double infeditlity it seems


----------

