# Sexual Dreams About Others?



## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

Let me start by saying that I am happy and fullfilled in my marriage. We are blessed to have a great sex life and excellent communication. Of course, we spent an ample amount of time discussing all of these issues during our engagement; we know that all marriages evolve over time. 

Sometimes I have sexual dreams about famous younger men. In the dreams, I am having an amazing time in bed and I don't even feel bad about cheating. It is very scary, because I am devoted to my husband. I don't believe in infidelity because I saw the effects of it in my parent's marriage. The thought of being intimate with another man turns my stomach. 

I don't understand how this could happen if I am satisfied in bed. I keep this to myself because I am ashamed.


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## Mistys dad (Dec 2, 2011)

Dreams are your subconsious expressing itself. Love, hate, fear, anxiety, horniness, whatever.

It does not speak a logical, understandable, lanquage or try to rationalize itself. You can not control or direct them. 

Really, dreams are just dreams. Enjoy the ones you can remember.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

FirstYearDown said:


> Let me start by saying that I am happy and fullfilled in my marriage. We are blessed to have a great sex life and excellent communication. Of course, we spent an ample amount of time discussing all of these issues during our engagement; we know that all marriages evolve over time.
> 
> Sometimes I have sexual dreams about famous younger men. In the dreams, I am having an amazing time in bed and I don't even feel bad about cheating. It is very scary, because I am devoted to my husband. I don't believe in infidelity because I saw the effects of it in my parent's marriage. The thought of being intimate with another man turns my stomach.
> 
> I don't understand how this could happen if I am satisfied in bed. I keep this to myself because I am ashamed.


Dreams are certainly nothing to feel ashamed of. Your subconscious mind is exporing it's own sexuality. That's how I view it. I have lots of sexual dreams, even with strange men! The sex in my dreams is amazing, and I'm glad that I have them.  It simply means I'm a woman, I'm alive, and I'm sexual! :smthumbup:


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

The younger men I dream about are very different from my husband. He is older than me and these dream guys are 18-24. They are also extroverted pretty boys.

I would never want a relationship with such young men and I love my husband's strong masculine features.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

FirstYearDown said:


> The younger men I dream about are very different from my husband. He is older than me and these dream guys are 18-24. They are also extroverted pretty boys.
> 
> I would never want a relationship with such young men and I love my husband's strong masculine features.


The men that are in your dreams mean nothing. It doesn't matter who they are. Just think of yourself as a sexual being...jsut for having the dreams. And consider yourself lucky!


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## Stryker (Feb 3, 2012)

FirstYearDown said:


> The younger men I dream about are very different from my husband. He is older than me and these dream guys are 18-24. They are also extroverted pretty boys.
> 
> I would never want a relationship with such young men and I love my husband's strong masculine features.


You are struggling against your own sub-consciousness in the Conscious level ,...and I want you to struggle as well in the Conscious Mode...


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

FirstYearDown said:


> I don't understand how this could happen if I am satisfied in bed. I keep this to myself because I am ashamed.


To quote Anne Rice: "Dreams are nothing and dreams will pass."

Dreams are just that: dreams. 

You know in your real life you are happy and satisfied with your marriage so that is all that counts. 

I rarely have sexual dreams about anyone I know in real life. But in my dreams, I have slept with a few celebrities, including Angelina Jolie. I also have a recurring dream with a famous actor. We've been dream lovers for a decade now.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> To quote Anne Rice: "Dreams are nothing and dreams will pass."
> 
> Dreams are just that: dreams.
> 
> ...


Dream cheater!  :lol: :rofl:


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I am single


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> I am single


:wtf: I knew that!!!! :slap:


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Haha. Well I was married once before.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

*Dean* said:


> So when you married women wake up from a Hot Dream and just need
> to get some......What do you say to your husbands?


Well, since I've already orgasmed....NOTHING!  And just go about my day with a smile.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Haha. Well I was married once before.


 I know!

So, are you dating?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

No.


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## Stryker (Feb 3, 2012)

southern wife said:


> Well, since I've already orgasmed....NOTHING!  And just go about my day with a smile.


“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become you, for better or worse:yawn2::awink:


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

*Dean* said:


> I'm laughing with a big smile on my face.
> 
> 
> So you believe the husband when he says, come over here, I had a
> dream about you?


I do. But his dreams are very different from my dreams - not sexual at all. His dreams consist of me leaving him, or me being with someone else. "Only in my dreams" am I with someone else. :rofl:


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

Stryker said:


> “Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
> Watch your words, for they become actions.
> Watch your actions, for they become habits.
> Watch your habits, for they become you, for better or worse:yawn2::awink:


Not quite sure what you're implying or getting at.... :scratchhead:


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> No.


JB! What in the world? Just not ready?


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I have never dreamed of having sex with another person....but I did make out with Angelina Jolie.

That was hot.


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## Zatol Ugot? (Mar 5, 2012)

As a middle-aged male, it wasn't until recently that I allowed myself to "let go" in my dreams. I would always have dreams where I was put in sexual situations (naked woman coming on to me, getting "caught" masturbating by two beautiful coeds, etc.) but I would always rebuff advances and turn down the advances. Somehow, even in my dream, I felt guilty and did not want to hurt my wife. However, a few years ago, I believe that I began to practice some self-directed dreaming and I allowed myself to "accept" the gifts of my mind (as feable as that sounds). The funny thing is, it really turned out to be not that big of a deal. I actually have those types of dreams very infrequently now.


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## Broncos Fan (Mar 1, 2012)

FirstYearDown said:


> Let me start by saying that I am happy and fullfilled in my marriage. We are blessed to have a great sex life and excellent communication. Of course, we spent an ample amount of time discussing all of these issues during our engagement; we know that all marriages evolve over time.
> 
> Sometimes I have sexual dreams about famous younger men. In the dreams, I am having an amazing time in bed and I don't even feel bad about cheating. It is very scary, because I am devoted to my husband. I don't believe in infidelity because I saw the effects of it in my parent's marriage. The thought of being intimate with another man turns my stomach.
> 
> I don't understand how this could happen if I am satisfied in bed. I keep this to myself because I am ashamed.


My wife went through a phase like this fairly recently. Hers were a little bit "worse" in that they involved not just famous people, but men and women she knew. Usually they were younger, the age range you mention but also sometimes older men as well. She told me and it led to some insecurity on my part, which is dumb because as people have said your dreams don't mean anything about your marriage or sex life. But we'd had issues at the time and this added to it. Anyway, my wife said that she thinks it was hormonal and she's also said that while she still has them, they've diminished over time and aren't as vivid. I imagine they could come back again but I'll have the sense then to know they aren't a big deal. I don't think you have anything to worry about. Whether or not to share them with him is up to you, he might be more mature about it than I was.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

FirstYearDown said:


> Let me start by saying that I am happy and fullfilled in my marriage. We are blessed to have a great sex life and excellent communication. Of course, we spent an ample amount of time discussing all of these issues during our engagement; we know that all marriages evolve over time.
> 
> Sometimes I have sexual *dreams about famous younger men.* In the dreams, I am having an amazing time in bed and I don't even feel bad about cheating. It is very scary, because I am devoted to my husband. I don't believe in infidelity because I saw the effects of it in my parent's marriage. The thought of being intimate with another man turns my stomach.
> 
> I don't understand how this could happen if I am satisfied in bed. I keep this to myself because I am ashamed.


Preselection at work. It even happens in dreams!


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## Stryker (Feb 3, 2012)

Dreams


Sometimes people have dreams where they are being taken care of, loved very deeply or cuddled – dreams that are not overtly sexual but which leave the dreamer feeling very drawn to the person in the dream who was being so affectionate.

*These dreams can leave an individual feeling very shaken up and confused because often the love interest in the dream is not a regular partner.
*
*In our experience, these dreams can tell us a great deal. We believe they're often there as some manifestation that all is not entirely well with our current situation. They often express a hankering for a loving experience that is absent from a marriage or long-term relationship.*

*If you have this kind of dream and feel disturbed by it, you may want to see a relationship therapist to explore why you are having these dreams.*
*
Of course we all have dreams in which incongruous things happen with people we are not attached to in real life, but when these dreams haunt our waking moments through the next day and beyond, it's wise to take note of the possible message behind them and seek professional help if necessary. *


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

Stryker said:


> *If you have this kind of dream and feel disturbed by it, you may want to see a relationship therapist to explore why you are having these dreams.*


I don't feel disturbed at all, but thanks!


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## Stryker (Feb 3, 2012)

southern wife said:


> I don't feel disturbed at all, but thanks!


Hmmm..Understandable...


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I have dreams about making out with celebrities. The latest was Shannon Tweed. I told my hubby about that one he just smiled his enigmatic smile and that was it.

He claims to not have dreams about sex with other people but I don't believe him. He's just saying that to avoid hurting my feelings.

It wouldn't really hurt my feelings if he admitted to it though. I mean, sure, it's easy to think that him dreaming that means it's a secret desire or something. And maybe it is. But then maybe so is me wanting to make out with Shannon Tweed. There's zero chance of me ever doing so - there's zero chance of me EVER making out with a celebrity, or anyone else for that matter. Having the desire and acting on it are completely separate things. We all fantasize consciously, and unless you believe that that's wrong too, I don't see how you can think having dreams like this is a bad thing.


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## Stryker (Feb 3, 2012)

Hope1964 said:


> I have dreams about making out with celebrities. The latest was Shannon Tweed. I told my hubby about that one he just smiled his enigmatic smile and that was it.
> 
> He claims to not have dreams about sex with other people but I don't believe him. He's just saying that to avoid hurting my feelings.
> 
> It wouldn't really hurt my feelings if he admitted to it though. I mean, sure, it's easy to think that him dreaming that means it's a secret desire or something. *And maybe it is. But then maybe so is me wanting to make out with Shannon Tweed. There's zero chance of me ever doing so - there's zero chance of me EVER making out with a celebrity, or anyone else for that matter. Having the desire and acting on it are completely separate things.  *We all fantasize consciously, and unless you believe that that's wrong too, I don't see how you can think having dreams like this is a bad thing.



--*Dreams,Determination,Dedication and Dynamics..= Destiny and Destination : Dream realized n achieved.*.:yawn2::yawn2:


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Stryker said:


> --*Dreams,Determination,Dedication and Dynamics..= Destiny and Destination : Dream realized n achieved.*.:yawn2::yawn2:


Allrighty then.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

southern wife said:


> JB! What in the world? Just not ready?


Precisely. 

Everything in it's time.


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## Stryker (Feb 3, 2012)

Hope1964 said:


> Allrighty then.




Disclaimer : Stryker, Member TAM is not responsible for any conflict or aberration or distortion in the Cadence, Concordance and Correlation between Hope1964, member TAM and her family in any manner owing to a jovial comment in humour intent which is seemingly taken for granted as a serious drive for any felony in action or intent by Mrs. Hope1964 for the uncanny culmination of the same.


Hope ...its clear


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## Stryker (Feb 3, 2012)

*Dean* said:


> What's the deal with all the woman having dreams about making out with other woman?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


*Women's Sexuality is Fluid ...Our biology offers some insight into why lesbian behavior is more widely accepted than homosexual behavior. Apparently, female sexuality is much more likely to be fluid (i.e. bisexual) while male sexuality is more likely to be dichotomous and rigid (i.e. either gay or straight.)
*
*Biologically, women require a longer period of time to reach arousal( or factually ,they need a continuous sensation either physically or mentally as for their make up) and thus need more foreplay than men do. Lesbian acts are often described as continuous foreplay or "all play," and, thus, may appeal to many women who crave longer foreplay and longer sexual interaction than they receive with their male partners.


*

*Throughout the centuries, women have been expected to be caring and nurturing, and therefore have been permitted far more physical contact with each other than their male counterparts. Being affectionate with another woman does not threaten a woman's sense of femininity, whereas a male expression of affection toward another man is viewed as a direct threat to his masculinity.
*

*On the other hand, women are taught to be pleasing to men in order to attract a mate, and having been told that men get turned on by girl-girl erotica, they are more likely to engage in lesbian acts in order to please their men.

The common male fantasy of a "threesome," i.e. one male and two females, is something that many women learn about and that gives them the impression that men enjoy watching women together.

This desire to please may thus encourage women to develop their bisexual interests.
*


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## phantomfan (Mar 7, 2012)

When I was married to my first wife, I had dreams about other people all the time. My current wife is the only woman I've been with that I've actually had sex dreams about until recently that is. I think its normal to have them and sure beats having a nightmare.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

You know what's really weird? All of my sex dreams include my husband. I don't have them very often, due to one of my medications, I have nightmares quite frequently. Just about nightly at times. I'm use to them now, but the first month was stressful. It's defiantly a side effect of this medication I take, but the benefits outweigh the side effects.


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## Lionelhutz (Feb 2, 2012)

There is a also a school of thought that says your dreams are nothing more than your brain taking the garbage out. Or another way to put it, defragmenting your hard drive. Your brain attempts to put images together out of this process.

In either case, dream crime doesn't exist. No reason to feel guilty about anything you dream


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

I would never tell my husband that I dream about younger men.

He would be so hurt and maybe that is why I feel guilty.


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## Lionelhutz (Feb 2, 2012)

FirstYearDown said:


> I would never tell my husband that I dream about younger men.
> 
> He would be so hurt and maybe that is why I feel guilty.


How would you feel if he talked to you about sex dreams?

If he dreamed about screwing a hot starlet that he will never meet and never have sex with, would you be threatened?

I'm not saying you should tell him but maybe you should at least talk about the idea of dreams and fantasies. Maybe he will surprise you. 

In my case, I told my wife, that if she had dreams or fantasies about people we don't know, I would like to hear about it. Because in the good old days I liked to know what turned her on. BUT I told her if she has thoughts or dreams about people we know I don't want to know about it. It would mess me up. Her fantasies are exactly that and I think it is naive and foolish to think you can control your spouse's thoughts. I don't have ownership over them. She said the same thing. She didn't care if I had thoughts about sleeping with a celebrity but she didn't want to know if I had a fantasy about her friend.


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## Broncos Fan (Mar 1, 2012)

FirstYearDown said:


> I would never tell my husband that I dream about younger men.
> 
> He would be so hurt and maybe that is why I feel guilty.


I think that your dreams are fine as I said above, but maybe not telling him is a good idea. I don't know. I don't think you have anything to be embarrassed about, but I know against all reason I was very hurt when my wife told me about hers. An ego thing I guess. I just didn't want to say that before, but if you feel that way already then no harm.


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## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)

FirstYearDown said:


> I would never tell my husband that I dream about younger men.
> 
> He would be so hurt and maybe that is why I feel guilty.


Yeah was gonna advise you not to do this. Unless he's one of those guys that get aroused by these sorts of things, it'll crush him.


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## shy_guy (Jan 25, 2012)

FirstYearDown said:


> Let me start by saying that I am happy and fullfilled in my marriage. We are blessed to have a great sex life and excellent communication. Of course, we spent an ample amount of time discussing all of these issues during our engagement; we know that all marriages evolve over time.
> 
> Sometimes I have sexual dreams about famous younger men. In the dreams, I am having an amazing time in bed and I don't even feel bad about cheating. It is very scary, because I am devoted to my husband. I don't believe in infidelity because I saw the effects of it in my parent's marriage. The thought of being intimate with another man turns my stomach.
> 
> I don't understand how this could happen if I am satisfied in bed. I keep this to myself because I am ashamed.


I'm not going to tell you what to communicate with your husband, but I know at one point in our marriage, my wife clammed up about her sexual fantasies and began telling me she didn't have any. I didn't really believe it. In one of our discussions, she finally told me why she didn't want to tell me about them - they involved famous people, or things like me renting her out for the evening for some exhorbitant amount of money to some rich guy. She explained that she didn't want any of those things in the real world and felt bad about them, and was sure I would be irate if she ever told me about them.

I try to be fair minded, and honestly, I've had fantasies I don't want to happen in the real world. I've told a few of them on here, too, and if you read them, you can probably understand why I didn't want them in the real world. If I was honest, they did involve unnamed, faceless people that were not my wife ... I had done something similar to what she had done. It's just how our minds work, and sometimes we fantasize about something or dream about something that we don't really want in the real world.

After thinking it over, I told my wife that I would not share her with anyone else in the real world, but I wanted to know about her fantasies. I told her we could role play most of them and just add a little excitement. That actually worked out very well for us. I'm quite comfortable with her when she tells me she doesn't want that in the real world, but she loves role playing sometimes (like everything else, it's just sometimes - there's nothing we do every time.)

I don't really know how your husband will feel about you sharing them with him, but I know you're not alone in dreaming about something or fantasizing about something that you don't really want in the real world. I think if we're honest, a high percentage of us have done that.


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## shy_guy (Jan 25, 2012)

*Dean* said:


> What's the deal with all the woman having dreams about making out with other woman?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


If you search online for a study conducted at Boise State University in recent years, you can find articles (and maybe the study) that shows that 60% of all HETEROSEXUAL women have some lesbian tendency. The ranges defined there went from fantasizing about making out with another woman, to women who actually went and had lesbian sex with other women. The percentages varied among ages with the highest percentage above 40, and the lowest percentage among young women. Of those women who actually had sexual encounters, some decided they liked it and stayed that way. Some decided they didn't like it and never repeated it. Some decided it was pleasant but they didn't want to repeat it - it ran the full spectrum.

I guess the bottom line from that study is that it isn't unusual for women to have fantasies about other women.


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## shy_guy (Jan 25, 2012)

stritle said:


> at least your sex dream partners have faces.
> mine don't, they're definitely women, but never a face.


This!! Exactly!!

I actually don't remember having a sexual dream probably since I was a teenager, but I have had fantasies when awake. They never have a face. They're nobody ... It is a woman, but it's nobody in particular. That's so hard to explain, and here, I find someone else with something very similar.


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## shy_guy (Jan 25, 2012)

Complexity said:


> Yeah was gonna advise you not to do this. Unless he's one of those guys that get aroused by these sorts of things, it'll crush him.


I'm not advising OP to tell him or not, but there are more types of people than you are accounting for. See my post a few above this one. I don't necessarily get aroused by my wife's fantasies, but I'm secure with her, and don't feel threatened by them, either. We do role play on them, but as I said, I'm not going to share her, and I don't want her to share me. The way I see it, fantasies are just fantasies. When she tells me she doesn't want it in the real world, I trust that, and understand that I've also had fantasies that I don't want in the real world. What really fascinates me in it is listening to her mind working ... I can listen without feeling threatened, but mostly because I really trust her - she's spent years building that trust.


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## jennifer1986 (Feb 4, 2012)

I agree if it's someone you know, don't mention. 

But if it's celebrity, no big deal. 

I had a very vivid dream about Denzel Washington. I told my H and everytime we happen to see one of his movies (I do like him as an actor too) I have this kinky smile. Sometimes in gym we pass a handsome black man and my H gives me a pretend-to-be-mad vicious look. But to us this is kind of a funny and hot thing. I have never dreamed of hot young guys, probably because I have 2 boys and one is definitely ALREADY a hot young guy. But anything so detached from reality, in a dream, would not bother us.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

My husband would be more disturbed that they were so young, because he is eight years my senior. 

He is already insecure about the age difference.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

FirstYearDown said:


> My husband would be more disturbed that they were so young, because he is eight years my senior.
> 
> He is already insecure about the age difference.


I hear what you are saying. My hubs and I are the same age, but he's still insecure. I'd never tell him about my dreams, and I agree that you should not either. Dreams are *just* dreams and nothing more, therefore nothing to feel shame or guilt over.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

I really hope that dreams don't mean anything. 

I have some real humdingers at times - and without aid of drink or drugs! They range from awful, gory nightmares where I wake up drenched in sweat with my heart racing to weird, psychedelic ones to wild, uninhibited sex dreams. I seem to only remember snippets of crazy dreams and nothing else - so if there are mild and enlightening ones I don't recall them. 

Sometimes my husband is present, sometimes it's someone I don't even know, sometimes it's a person I've just met or a person from work who I am not even attracted to. Sometimes I am a passive viewer, sometimes I am an active participant, but I don't ever recall seeing myself from afar - as if I were watching myself. It is as if I am still inhabiting my own body even in my dream.

They are just weird...they are just dreams, and in the light of day they seem to dissipate and go away and I often cannot remember the specifics of them anymore, they are just kind of a feeling.

Sometimes I share them with my H, sometimes I don't. I do tend to think that they are my mind cleaning things out, and I think they are affected by other processes going on in my body. When I am ramping up on higher doses of my thyroid replacement hormone, I will notice I have more dramatic dreams and I will tend to remember more parts of them upon waking.

Sometimes the dreams are very creative and fantastical. I had one two nights ago about this fantastical, magical, beautiful house that I had created - everything sparkled and the colours were muted, yet spectacular. I remember snippets of that dream - wondering how I could create something so beautiful in my mind while sleeping, yet can come nowhere close to that while waking.

I say - don't worry about your dreams - don't let the tangled cobwebs of a night's dreams (or nightmare) set up shop in your daily mind. Sweep the tangled remnants out, marvel on the beauty and creativity and mystery that your mind is, and go about your day. 

Best wishes.


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## Mistys dad (Dec 2, 2011)

*Dean* said:


> What's the deal with all the woman having dreams about making out with other woman?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Damn if I know, but that's the exact same dreams I have.:smthumbup:


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

*Dean* said:


> When I was very young, I had nightmares.


Yes, I did, too. Dreamed of being stabbed in the heart with an ice pick, dreams of being chased by a man, dreams of being punched in the face......just strange and scary dreams like that.

Now once in a while, I'll have sexual dreams...........and all with men! No lez action in my dreams! :rofl:


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## shy_guy (Jan 25, 2012)

Enchantment said:


> Sometimes the dreams are very creative and fantastical. I had one two nights ago about this fantastical, magical, beautiful house that I had created - everything sparkled and the colours were muted, yet spectacular. I remember snippets of that dream - wondering how I could create something so beautiful in my mind while sleeping, yet can come nowhere close to that while waking.


I WISH I had something creative come out of dreams. Most often, what happens is I suddenly get a solution to something I've been working on, and become aware enough to realize I'm dreaming. I try very hard to think "This is it! I have to remember this when I wake up." Sometimes, I can actually wake myself up intending to write it down so I don't forget it, but usually, I don't wake up immediately, and manage to remember it as I am actually waking up. As soon as I'm awake, I think through what I was dreaming, and that great solution, and then begin to think, "That's stupid! How did I ever think that made sense?" ... it certainly made sense when I was dreaming, but had nothing useful in the real world.


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## chaos (Mar 9, 2012)

Lionelhutz said:


> There is a also a school of thought that says your dreams are nothing more than your brain taking the garbage out. Or another way to put it, defragmenting your hard drive. Your brain attempts to put images together out of this process.


I also remember reading about this years ago. It seems that we receive so much sensory information that our brains require a way to dump the overload and dreams are the way the brain does it.


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