# I want something better, but there's a kid



## Jabez (Aug 12, 2014)

There's 3 sides to every story: mine, theirs, and the truth.

I don't want to be here. But I feel like I've got nowhere else to turn to, nobody else to talk to, than here on the interwebs with you lot.

Another person has come on the scene and little by little, without even realizing it, my life partner has been stepping away from me. Recently it all came to a head, & now I feel like I'm on a railroad track that's leading to us parting our different ways, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. The love has gone. Problems you can solve. Broken you can replace. But once love has gone, that's it, you're done my friend.

But there's a kid & a house. For my child's sake - omg. It's really ****ed up.

It's been hard. From the GFC I've taken whatever work I can get & it's not always been suitable so I didn't work out. Already coping with depression, these were very hard times for me. Unfortunately I became insular, bitter & angry. Not a wonderful partner. So yeah, I deserved it. It's ironic that I did it all to keep up a mortgage & a life I didn't really want to begin with. Mind you, we live in a world now where you're only worth is $$$, & on that point I've done better with my partner than I might have done - fair's fair.

So I take responsibility for all the failings. I'm a extroverted introvert. That means I need people regularly, but I'm very comfortable in my own company. When all this came to be, I stopped and thought "wait a minute - am I happy?" & the answer is growing into "no". I can talk about all the reasons why I'm not, but the point is that I got really hopeful that maybe there's a better life waiting for me out there - I just gotta go grab it. (but what to do with my child?)

My partner - well, she likes to rescue things. That's how we started. She rescued me. But she achieved it. I'm rescued. What now? She's very extroverted and thinks every second of life has to be fun (which is bloody exhausting!). This new person needs rescuing...

Anyway, I don't want to be alone. I don't want to go through all this **** by myself. Ultimately I'd love to find friends in the same position to go through this with for support, & to stop me doing stupid things & vice-versa.


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## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

I'm a little confused, to start... is there "another person in the scene" or not? 

Assuming yes, isn't your problem that you're attracted to this new person, already in an EA or PA, and crutchung on that to define how and why you're unhappy in your pre-existng relationship?

Or am I mis-reading the scenario...


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Well for starters you found the right place. We're all friends here and we all have been thru some heavy sh1t with our partners.

So my question is why say *you* have all the responsiblity for this failed relationship?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

In order to fix your marriage, you need to stop the friendship or affair with the other woman. That's the first thing you need to do.


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## Jabez (Aug 12, 2014)

no - the other person is my partner's friend - it isn't an affair to my knowledge. Sorry to be unclear.


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## Jabez (Aug 12, 2014)

the guy said:


> Well for starters you found the right place. We're all friends here and we all have been thru some heavy sh1t with our partners.
> 
> So my question is why say *you* have all the responsiblity for this failed relationship?


I've always had a problem with low self-esteem, a victim mentality & a sense of responsibility that people have great difficulty not taking advantage of.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jabez (Aug 12, 2014)

I'm intrigued with the thought that somewhere out there there is someone that is looking for me, perhaps even in the same situation. So coming here I suppose is some shot in the dark. Maybe divorce isn't the track but solid friendship is. I dunno. There's a confusing array of thought & emotion swirling around.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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