# Help What do women want to talk about.



## commonjoe (Mar 19, 2012)

I have been married for 7 years. I need help communicating with my wife.

I always seem to fall into the trap about only talking about small stuff like our kids, work, and weather.

My wife says I never initiate conversations about anything that really matters.

I have racked my brain to no evail.

So my question is what do women think is meaningfull. I want to communicate with my wife but need help starting out.

Thanks,
commonjoe


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## Unhappy2011 (Dec 28, 2011)

commonjoe said:


> I have been married for 7 years. I need help communicating with my wife.
> 
> I always seem to fall into the trap about only talking about small stuff like our kids, work, and weather.
> 
> ...


Well Mr CommonJoe,

Maybe she wants to talk about things that are not so common and mundane, but more abstract and interesting?


There is this thing called a rapport. Some couples are lucky enough to have it.

Some people are not aware enough to look for it in others.


I suspect you and your wife lack a rapport.

Perhaps try and learn about interesting things. But the reality is if that is not your personality then it is futile like teaching an old dog new tricks.


Oh and this is not an exclusive women thing. I was the opposite in my last relationship.

I am very educated, intelligent, worldly, analytical, traveled guy. My ex, bless her heart was a very good girl, but man she really had nothing to talk about beyond the mundane things.

She was smart, but just raised differently and had a different personality.

It became an issue. It sucked.


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## LadyFrog (Feb 27, 2012)

Well, instead of racking your brain and puzzling over it, why not just ask her outright what she want to talk about? Sometimes directness works wonders. 

Women can be changeable. Sometimes I like to talk about really stupid stuff and other times it's serious. Depends on my mood, the alignment of the planets, you name it.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> Women can be changeable. Sometimes I like to talk about really stupid stuff and other times it's serious. Depends on my mood, the alignment of the planets, you name it.


yup, and we as men, always have to know what mood they are in, where the planets are, and the you name its just by the vibes they are giving


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Hmmm....maybe start reading the news or weird news? start looking at odd/funny websites and say "Can you believe that this and this happened?" and see if that's what she wants to talk about.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

commonjoe said:


> My wife says I never initiate conversations about anything that really matters.


Why is this solely YOUR problem? If she doesn't like the topic then why wouldn't she just tell you what she would rather talk about.

These kind of comments irk me. "Oh I'm not happy with xwy but want YOU to fix it for me." They take ZERO ownership of anything. 

People if you aren't happy about something CHANGE IT quit waiting for someone to do it for you. Geesh.


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## Mistys dad (Dec 2, 2011)

Talk about the things that interest you.

If she doesn't want to discuss those things, than it is on her to change the subject.

If she can't or won't change the subject, than it is not up to you to keep her entertained like a trick pony.

Or just talk about sex.


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## LemonLime (Mar 20, 2012)

You sound like my husband, I am constantly asking him to 'talk to me', 'say something'!


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

OP - what are your interests and passions?

I love to hear my man talking about his hobbys and plans.. i love to hear him excited about things.

I also want to hear what he thinks about world wide issues, the kids school reports, his mates new mad dog but my favourite thing to talk about is our present and future plans as a couple and as a family.

Talk about things that interest YOU and you'll probably be interesting.

NOW...what's she doing about the lack of (interesting) conversation??


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## LemonLime (Mar 20, 2012)

waiwera said:


> t my favourite thing to talk about is our present and future plans as a couple and as a family.


This is my fav too, because we can dream together about it, not to sound sappy or anything...but it is a guaranteed common interest.:smthumbup:


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## LadyFrog (Feb 27, 2012)

2nd_t!me iz_best said:


> yup, and we as men, always have to know what mood they are in, where the planets are, and the you name its just by the vibes they are giving


Exactly, that's my point, it's impossible. His wife could solve the problem just by saying, "I want to talk about ____________


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

This is the perfect situation for "what if" game. My husband and I play all the time. Just think of silly ass thoughts like if I was drunk and bought the whole bar a round, or what if you were trapped in an elevator. What if we went to eat and I left the money at home. 

Just light any funny stuff to get on the habit.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

There have been some good ideas given already.

Also... search the internet for "conversation starters", ad qualifiers like "for couples", "for lovers" , etc you will get lots of questions to use to start up conversations.

Follow the question with "And how do you feel about it?" or "How does it make you feel?" . The idea is that both of you answer the questions from your own perspective.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

My husband is the quiet one and I'm always feeling sort of alienated because of it. When we talk, it's about the everyday bs...

But occasionally he'll open up about some philosophies he's been reading about, or a news story. And we can debate, discuss and contemplate together.

Mostly when I really want him to talk, I want him to affirm our relationship and his feelings for me. I want him to tell me that he's happy with me and our life together. I want him to say that he thinks I'm a good person, and that he's committed to me...

Asking him to do this only makes him seem forced and fake. Not very rewarding. :/

So- my mental/emotional stimulation mostly comes from other people. And TAM. LoL!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Will you be interested in what she likes to talk about? 

What does she like to talk about? 

Different people like to talk about different things, depends on their interests and the way they grew up. And if you want to talk about interesting things, you also have to read or talk to other people to get information. 

I like to talk about life and what we can do to help us have a good life. Wisdom from religion and life in general. 

My husband likes to talk about his hobbies. I do my best to be his listener. I learn a lot about his hobbies from listening to him.


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