# Woman's Cycle - Help



## synonimous_anonymous (May 31, 2010)

I'm trying to understand this (Along with several other dynamics)

My wife and I have been trying for years to have a baby. We haven't been successful and only recently found out there was a problem on my end. After 3 months of regular shots of HMG my count is up to what it should be.

Now my wife wants a 'break' for different reasons and I guess this gives me time to figure a few things out. My wife has an irregular cycle. She says from 26 to 34 days apart (Her period starts). Last month she says she was most fertile on the 20th, this month was the 10th. Her period started (Bleeding) on May 30th and the bleeding lasted about 7 days. She says she was next to be most fertile on June 10th. This sounds a bit strange to me but I thought I would ask: 

How long after a woman first starts her period does she ovulate?
How long after ovulation does a woman start her period? 
How long before a woman starts her period does she begin to suffer symptoms of PMS? 
If by chance she were to be pregnant, how long before signs of pregnancy would be needed?


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

There are lots of good books/websites on "natural family planning" which will give you more than enough information! 

If your wife's cycle is irregular, then her ovulation is somewhat less predictable, although MOST of the time, the irregularity in a cycle comes from what happens after ovulation, not before.

A woman typically ovulates 14 days after her first day of bleeding. Again, that is *most* of the time. Using a basal thermometer and early morning temps will help her pinpoint her ovulation--temp drops right before. Are y'all doing this already?

One's period generally starts 14 days after ovulation--hence the 28 day, "lunar" cycle that is "average." There is a lot more variation here, however, depending on hormones, etc. 12-16 days btw ovulation and the start of one's period is not unusual. 

When does PMS start? I don't know--at birth?  I would bet this varies greatly--I got a PMS headache 4 days b/4 my cycle for 10 years--but not in the years before or the years after. Go figure. 

Signs of pregnancy "needed?" Not sure what you mean. I always knew w/in about 9 days of conception--but that is EXTREMELY unusual. Historically speaking, most women don't even begin to suspect until they have missed a period (and not even then when they are too busy to notice!). So 6 to 8 weeks would be "normal" for actual pg signs--tender breasts, some bloating that really isn't just bloating.

If a woman gets PMS but then doesn't get her period, it is often an early sign of pg. 

Keep in mind that becoming pg does not mean "having a baby," please. Not to be a downer-- I know how hard this is--but there is a gap between b/c pg and having a baby, and if you are having IF issues, you may find that there is more than one issue. Although your sperm count may be a significant contributor, you may find that there are 2ndary issues post-conception--which is devastating if you are not somewhat prepared for it. Be patient and persistent, and realistic. If you want a child to love, consider adoption WHILE you continue with IF treatment. It does not have to be one or the other. I have children through bio and adoption and can guarantee, it is the same when it comes to parenting. Having a child to love sure puts IF in perspective. I know you have to "get there" mentally on your own, but just wanted to make sure you are aware it doesn't have to be one way or the other!


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## synonimous_anonymous (May 31, 2010)

Thank you.

I guess I just assumed that if my sperm count was up and mobility was up that it would make sense that she could get pregnant.

Before me she has been pregnant twice but had an abortion on both occasions. The first time was because her and her then partner assumed that she couldn't get pregnant on her period. She found out the hard way that wasn't the case. Second time around she was simply told to get it done. She regrets having done this and has since carried that pain with her. I'm pro-choice with the hope the choice is life and have never questioned her choices. Something inside of me thought that since she got so easily pregnant that she would still be...odd thinking maybe.

My wife is 40 yrs old and we live in an age where there are plenty of 40+ mothers giving birth. I worry about her health as she gets older and wonder if she can handle the pregnancy. I don't want her to sacrifice her health for the purpose of reproduction.

I've talked with her about adoption. She says she doesn't feel she could love a child that was not from her own womb. I think she would love an adopted child just fine. These are her present feelings...I guess time will tell.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

A woman's fertility declines slightly at 30, more steeply at 35, and greatly at 40. You cannot assume she will easily become pregnant at 40; it is highly unlikely and has nothing to do with her previous fertility. There are some simple blood tests the doctor can do to see if she still has a good chance of conceiving on her own--one is an FSH test on day 3 of her period (briefly, it is to see how hard her body has to work to try to produce a viable egg; the higher the FSH level, the poorer the eggs). 

Get that done too. 

Ask your wife if she is just fearful she would not love an adopted child the same, or if she *knows* it. If she is just fearful, that is really normal. She can start looking at little kids and babies and imagining, "what if my baby looked like that?" Amazing how that changes one's point of view! I used to think a lot of babies were kind of ugly, but once I started doing that, suddenly they were (and are) all adorable!! Just some ideas; good luck.


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## Glacialiceland (Nov 14, 2010)

A women usually tends to ovulate about 10 -14 days after the first day she actually starts bleeding (gets her period), however, if she is irregular she might be ovulating a in a more unpredictable day, if you have been trying for years than maybe this info u already know but I will list if for you anyway, there are OPK kits sold at stores and they determine when the egg has matured and is about to be released and it will give you intstructions as to when to have sex and this may help with predicting her most fertile window. As far as PMS, I think it usually occurs days or about a week before your cycle which is characterized by fluctuatuon in weight, bloating, food cravings, and irritablilty, but at the same time you can have similar symtoms if your pregnant so that is something to take into consideration as well, signs of pregnancy could start as early as when the egg implants which is most commonly is characterized by tiredness and fatigue, breast tenderness and if I am not mistaken a little irritability, surprise surprise, soon after comes the nausea, hope this info helps)


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## Shianne (Feb 5, 2011)

Has she she been tested for fertility? I hate to admit that 40 is getting on the long side for pregnancy with your own genetics. The body can still be okay if it is in good condition for pregnancy but the eggs have a much higher chance of abnormality. Abnormality will either cause miscarriage or birth defect.
The chances are higher but not outrageous.
Abortions can impact fertility but many times the polyps and scar tissue can be clipped out and a new lining grown. 
Would she be open to other forms of assisted reproduction? egg donor IVF maybe? Surrogate... or must the baby be her's geneticly?

I have been deep in the ART world since 2003 and love to talk shop


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