# How the tables can turn



## aeasty (Jun 5, 2013)

So for anyone who didn't read my last thread I'm young got married had a baby with my wife, life was good then things went south(sex life and household stuff) about a month ago I decided it was done no coming back from it

Well in this past month!!! Crazy is the only way to describe it I think I went from ok my marriage is over but that's not the end of the world and dealing with all her hatred towards me and the joys of custody arrangements to being a single dad(f'ing excel at it btw) and getting the legal side of things going she was trying to be as big of a pain as possible and all her moods from I hate you and our son to don't ever speak to us again and I love you and miss you can we just forget about it all and everything between, oh and called the cops to say I stole her stuff, I moved out to a townhouse and only took what I needed and what is 100% mine and she wouldn't need(my work stuff and my old tools and bike and clothes and so on) gave her child support even though out of the last 3 weeks or more I have had our son all but 2 days we agreed on 50/50 depending on work for us both. 

she in the past week and this is why I am post it here, has been trying to make sexual advances I have rejected everytime because 
1. is it just a trap(like a bait and switch down the road or one more baby and im set for life) or 
2. just because she doesn't want it to be over or 
3. wants to try and fix it and sex being one of many reasons why I ended it

I am not going to just have one last hoorah with her because she is basicly throwing herself at me and I hate mind games I have tried to talk to her about it and she just tries harder or leaves. I tried bring it up later on and she just skips over it or dodges it completely. any thoughts?


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Go get a vasectomy. Then if you truly think she has changed and you want to salvage the marriage go for it. More than likely she missesthe pay check.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I have to read your other thread first. But my first thought was that she has been dumped by her boyfriend and now is terrified of being a single Mom. happened to my brother. His exw actually suggested he move back home AND that his GF could continue to visit because she got dumped by her boyfriend. Lemme read your other thread...


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

aeasty said:


> I am not going to just have one last hoorah with her because she is basicly throwing herself at me and I hate mind games I have tried to talk to her about it and she just tries harder or leaves. I tried bring it up later on and she just skips over it or dodges it completely. any thoughts?


I'm sure you've told her that her only chance is to open up and talk to you. You've got some serious willpower to turn it down now, after a long dry spell that you've had. 

I'm sure her being a virgin when she met you is part of her reluctance. The thought of going out and finding another guy now is terrifying I'm sure.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Now I remember you!

Your wife may be kicking herself for letting you go, but remain unable to find the words or express her regret. It's hard to say what is in her mind because she's not letting you in there. AND that what you have to pay attention to. When she is willing to communicate fully, freely and openly, then you know you have a chance at making a marriage work with her. Until then, you'll get more of the same.

Good job for not taking her up on her offers. Show her the kind of integrity you wish to see in her.


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## john_lord_b3 (Jan 11, 2013)

Oy, be careful. Read Mr. IndyTMI's story. Exactly like yours, when he finally had it with his x-wife's bad temper and evil LD-ness (not the nice and caring LD-ness at all), and wish to have a divorce, his X-wife suddenly chasing him for sex. But Mr. Indy persevered and now getting himself a new girlfriend with much more compatible sex drive. Thanx God.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

AE,
I could tell from your other posts that you were a decent guy. 

Choosing not to have sex with your soon to be ex wife is a good example of you being a good guy. 

No matter WHAT, don't have sex with her. She has some serious psychological issues and you are best keeping a safe distance. 

Note: She has no interest at all in addressing the underlying dysfunction of your marriage. And yet, suddenly she wants sex. No way - she wants something else. Not sure what, but it will be bad for you. 

Keep your distance from her. FYI: She is very angry and retains a real desire to hurt you. 




UOTE=aeasty;4028290]So for anyone who didn't read my last thread I'm young got married had a baby with my wife, life was good then things went south(sex life and household stuff) about a month ago I decided it was done no coming back from it

Well in this past month!!! Crazy is the only way to describe it I think I went from ok my marriage is over but that's not the end of the world and dealing with all her hatred towards me and the joys of custody arrangements to being a single dad(f'ing excel at it btw) and getting the legal side of things going she was trying to be as big of a pain as possible and all her moods from I hate you and our son to don't ever speak to us again and I love you and miss you can we just forget about it all and everything between, oh and called the cops to say I stole her stuff, I moved out to a townhouse and only took what I needed and what is 100% mine and she wouldn't need(my work stuff and my old tools and bike and clothes and so on) gave her child support even though out of the last 3 weeks or more I have had our son all but 2 days we agreed on 50/50 depending on work for us both. 

she in the past week and this is why I am post it here, has been trying to make sexual advances I have rejected everytime because 
1. is it just a trap(like a bait and switch down the road or one more baby and im set for life) or 
2. just because she doesn't want it to be over or 
3. wants to try and fix it and sex being one of many reasons why I ended it

I am not going to just have one last hoorah with her because she is basicly throwing herself at me and I hate mind games I have tried to talk to her about it and she just tries harder or leaves. I tried bring it up later on and she just skips over it or dodges it completely. any thoughts?[/QUOTE]


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## aeasty (Jun 5, 2013)

Thound - I'm not getting a vasectomy because I do want more children but obviously I'm not going to just have them without it being a positive environment and a solid relationship where we are both happy (be it with her or someone else)

Anon pink - I was thinking it might something like that but one of the reasons for leaving was she wasn't being the best mother she could, she would play with him she would put him in his toy room and then go on Facebook and Instagram and only see to him if he was crying basically and wouldn't do anything around the house like tidy up or even take the rubbish to the bin. I managed to get mild success taking her smart phone and iPad and everything that could access social media off her but all it did in the end was make her resent me and our son she put in about a week of effort into being a mum who is there but after that she had every possible sickness that a doctor can't fix from headaches to stomachaches and when I called her on it she wouldn't go to the doctor.

I probably sound a bit harsh but I'm really not all I want from with our son is to be a decent mother the house doesn't have to be hospital clean just neat and a clean floor(most of the time the floor would have spills and dirt and crumbs or sticky bits)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Your wife said she hated her own son? She has a major screw loose. I can completely understand a woman feeling hate for her husband at one time or another. I don't believe any normally functioning adult feels hatred for their own offspring. I was once married to a woman who said something similar. She told me she didn't feel like she wanted to be a wife or a mother. She left me and our two children. That's been almost 30 years ago and she's crazy as an out-house rat. She's been in and out of a number of adult relationships and I doubt she's experienced 24 hours of peace, only constant drama. A dog who attacks her pups isn't right. A cow who won't care for her calves has a future only as hamburger. I'd go so far as to say that any adult human who actually hates babies or small children has a screw loose. We all find them annoying once in a while and they're lots of work, but to actually hate them?


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

I too would stay away, for the reasons already stated.

Consider too, that if you do decide to accept the sex she will expect to resume the relationship and will be pissed off if you don't. And, if you did resume it, she'd likely go back to her old ways and/or resent you for having to do something she obviously dislikes in order to keep her around.

There is a great deal of truth to the notion that women can be attached (unhealthily) to their first sexual partners. She may feel like her honor depends on being with you / having sex with you devalued her somehow and you owe her a marriage.


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