# family or parents?



## joeschmo (May 2, 2012)

I am new to this forum and I need advice. I appreciate any help. here is some basic info about our relationship before i post my issues.

We have been married for 6 years (together for 9) now and have 2 kids, I am from the west coast and my wife is from the southeast and we currently live in alaska. Both of our family's want us closer but my family understands that we are doing what is best for us and eventually move closer (as i promised within a few years) and her family does nothing but complain to my wife and says "you are killing us!".

The inlaws and I have nothing in common and have trouble talking to me when they are around me. They tell my wife to tell me (very immature). All I can do is be cordial because my wife will not stand up for us and she will not let me set them straight. 

I have helped the inlaws fly out here and they do so once a year and I let my wife take the kids back to the southeast for a month which is hard on me because i love my wife and kids and she did not even call me everynight and everytime i called she seemed busy. 

my wife is a stay at home mom with a masters degee (and a lot of student loans) she refuses to get a job and does about half the chores in the house and a quarter outside ( i work, cook, clean and still make time to take my family camping and fishing) she complains everytime i buy stuff that I have put money aside for but yet i buy her tickets home and computers, smart phone etc. 

So here is the big problem, she said that she feels like she has to choose between her family and me. my response was "you made that decision when you married me". 
It was our decision to move to ak and buy a house and I cannot afford to leave right now I have offered quarters for her family to come and live here for the summer and they said they would move to fairbanks just to be closer...they cannot come close to affording it! which i had to explain. 

my wife has said she cannot be herself around her own parents and does not tell them alot because of their judgment. so that was long there is much more but you get the jist. my wife says she loves me and likes our life together here. I believe in the promise of marriage and i will defend my wife against ANYBODY (i have proven this against my own grandmother). how do i tell my inlaws to back off? how do I get my wife to choose our family?


----------



## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

joeschmo said:


> I am new to this forum and I need advice. I appreciate any help. here is some basic info about our relationship before i post my issues. we have been married for 6 years now and have 2 kids, I am from the west coast and my wife is from the southeast. we currently live in alaska and our family's want us closer but my family understands that we are doing what is best for us and eventually move closer (as i promised within a few years) her family does nothing but complain to my wife and says "you are killing us" we have nothing in common and the cannot even speak to me even when i pay for their airfare tickets and let my wife take the kids back to the southeast for a month (which is hard on me because i love my wife and kids) my wife is a stay at home mom with a masters degee (and a lot of student loans) she refuses to work and does little around the house ( i work, cook, clean and still make time to take my family camping and fishing) she complains everytime i buy stuff that I have put money aside for but yet i buy her tickets home and computers, smart phone etc, . she said that she feels like she has to choose between her family and me and I said you made that decision when you married me. It was our decision to move to ak and buy a house and I cannot afford to leave right now I have offered quarters for her family to come and live here for the summer and they said they would move to fairbanks...they cannot come close to affording it! which i had to explain. my wife has said she cannot be herself around her own parents and does not tell them alot because of their judgment. so that was long there is much more but you get the jist. my wife says she loves me and likes our life together here. I believe in the promise of marriage and i will defend my wife against ANYBODY (i have proven this against my own grandmother). how do i tell my inlaws to back off? how do I get my wife to choose our family?


Before I respond I have to ask, do you in laws give you large sums of money or provide necessary material support for your family?


----------



## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

I struggled being far from my family, too. When I first moved with my H I had dreams of what it would be like to be with him. But it was not as great as I thought it would be. I really wanted to leave but I didnt have a job. My H was being a complete jerk (not saying you are). He did pay for everything but emotionally he was completely void of the relationship. I didn't clean, cook, or anything and we don't even have kids. But I was severely depressed. I hated my H because I felt like he tricked me and dong anything for him was the last thing on my agenda. Over the years things started improving between my H and I and I've stopped pinning so much to move back with my family. I have a sister who constantly pressures me to move, and while that used to make me want to move back I've since realized that she has never once been to visit me. 

The real change came from improving my relationship with my H. Once I started feeling closer to him I stopped wanting to leave and i started doing more to contribute to the relationship. Getting a job helped a lot, too. But I dont think i would have gotten a job in a place i didnt plan on staying.


----------



## joeschmo (May 2, 2012)

I am and have always been very dependent I have never taken a dime from anyone (since 18y/o)and have been working since i was a boy(grew up on a farm), i am a veteran and have made good money my whole life doing blue collar work. 

I have never taken money or anything from her parents but i have paid for their trips from the south east out to the west coast as well as alaska! I have also fixed lots of things at her parents house, her grannys, aunts and taken her nephew for a few summers (teen boy with drug addict mom). i give plenty and ask for acceptance in return. 

to Blanca-obviously this is my opinion but I treat my wife very well. I ask for things kindly and end up doing them myself when they are not done. I try to talk all the time and fix all problems. I hope I am not a jerk and i do have my moments but my patience has worn very thin the past year and this has been ongoing for a few years. 
Please be honest with me, if I am wrong or being a jerk let me know!! i will not take offence. I did drink alot from sept to feb when i was home (two times a week. to excess, not blacking out) because i guess i was self medicating (not an excuse) but i have talked to a counselor and havent drank for a couple months i just couldnt talk to my wife any more and felt i lost her to her parents. 

I did tell her to leave and that she could take everything if that was her agenda and i would send money and move wherever just to be close to our kids. i have said hurtful things but nothing that i felt was not true especially the bad things about her family but i had to get it off my chest. thanks again


----------



## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

I feel sorry for you. 
You sound like you do everything for your wife and kids. She should be grateful to you.

You said she's a housewife. What the hell does she do around the house when you the one who does almost everything is you???
Is she THAT lazy? 
It doesn't matter if she's educated and has masters degree. This doesn't make her better than you.


----------



## joeschmo (May 2, 2012)

dont get me wrong she is a awesome mom and does a lot with the kids, she does clean but i do an equal amount and work full time and her idea of cooking is anything easy (6 ingredients or less) her bread maker broke so i showed her how to make bread without a bread maker but still no bread (just store bought). and a little effort put into a meal means alot to a me. i have spent a whole weekends cooking just to make her and the kids easy meals and snacks(homemade). little things add up. 

her degree pisses me off because i am paying for it still and I never got to use my gi bill cause I was busy working for her to get her degree which she has never used. she did work a bit and when finances got tough I asked her to work for a year and after about 5 months i told her to quit because she was miserable and didnt like that she couldnt spend time with the kids (welcome to my world) she quit at about 8 months into the job. 

I feel the problem is her parents poisoning her with their complaining and selfishness. i want to go off on them but my wife says she will take care of it and has a little bit lately. it really feels good to vent!


----------



## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

joeschmo said:


> dont get me wrong she is a awesome mom and does a lot with the kids, she does clean but i do an equal amount and work full time and her idea of cooking is anything easy (6 ingredients or less) her bread maker broke so i showed her how to make bread without a bread maker but still no bread (just store bought). and a little effort put into a meal means alot to a me. i have spent a whole weekends cooking just to make her and the kids easy meals and snacks(homemade). little things add up.


She might be a good mom but she needs to think about being a good wife as well.
It sounds like you're mostly out of the picture and she doesn't care about your concerns and the fact that she should make you feel appreciated. 
I wonder what goes on these kind of women's mind!!!
Don't they ever take the time to reflect how this makes their husbands feel? 



> I feel the problem is her parents poisoning her with their complaining and selfishness.


She's not a 5 year old girl to be easily effected by her parents.
She's old enough to make her own decisions and stand up for the family that she created!


----------



## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

Time to have a BIG talk with the wife. I think several things are 'building up' and will lead to a big explosion if not dealt with now. Kind of like sticks in a river damming up the water...the sticks are disappointments, grievances, complaints, suggestions that are being left unexpressed (the dam); the water (communication) is trickling through but soon will come the flood (large explosion verbally of past hurts/disappointments/regrets).

Since nobody is JUST one thing, you and your wife need to think about yourselves and each other in the different roles you fill; how are they great, where can we improve. Your wife: she's
1. a good woman (honest, loving to her family and yours?, respectful, etc.),
2. a great mother
3. a good/fair wife (taking care of YOUR needs, physically, emotionally, sexually, treating you with respect)
4. a poor/fair partner (working with you to decide on and help reach short- and long-term goals for the family; kids, where you live, how money is spent, retirement plans)

You'll have to set aside a large chunk of time that you and your wife can agree on. Let her know you want to talk about improving your lives and your marriage. Let her know that there will be no assigning of blame. (Time to suck it up, be honest without being brutal, learn lessons, and move forward.)

Maybe you each make a list of the other partner with respect to #1,2,3 (with examples of +/- behaviors). Maybe you make a list of each other as #4, or maybe you agree that neither of you has excelled at #4 and so you'll start at ground zero. Only you two can decide.

I think most of your problems stem from #4. You make all the income (although she has a graduate degree), she doesn't like to work out because she wants to be with the kids, you both want to move from AK but can't yet for financial reasons, you fund her complaining family, she resents things you've bought but can afford. You're not working as partners.

The first day, maybe all you discuss is #1,2,3 and write down some FAMILY goals each of you have (without timeframes). Agree to collect data on budget matters for your next talk.

The second meeting, discuss your budget IN DETAIL. How much money do you take in, where EXACTLY does it go. How much in savings, etc. Make sure you BOTH are in agreement about what is ACTUALLY happening with your money. No arguing...facts are facts. Agree to assign time-frames (independently) for the goals EACH of you have.

The third meeting, discuss your family's goals from EACH of your perspectives. There will be disagreement here, you're now dealing with wants and perception of how important things are to each of you. There will need to be compromise at this point. Make a list of short-term goals (1 - 5 years out). Make a list of long-term goals (5+ years out). Once you have a list of COMBINED, AGREED-UPON goals, you need to discuss how you can reach them in the stated time-frames.
* wife get a job (full-time? part-time? no job?)
* sell things you don't need
* cut back on unnecessary expenditures (you BOTH have to agree and see the value in forgoing one thing for another thing)
* think outside the box (maybe Skype on your computer so your wife can see/talk to family more often, and she forgoes some physical trips back to the Southeast)
Any goals that only ONE of you has, can be looked at again in the future.

Your budget should include some small reasonable amount of discretionary funds for each of you. If she wants a day at a spa and you think it's ridiculous...it's HER money to spend as she sees fit. If you want a new chain saw and she thinks it's stupid...it's YOUR money to spend as you see fit. Make sure the discretionary money is (a) worked into your budget, (b) strictly adhered to by you both, (c) something that is NOT allowed to be criticized by the other spouse.

Once you are on the same page with GOALS for your family, your wife may see the necessity of working (short-term, long-term, part-time, full-time) instead of just 'drifting along' through life waiting and hoping things will come out the way you guys want.

Have regular meetings regarding your goals. Are you reaching them in the stated timeframes? Do you need to re-do the timeframe to a more realistic time? Have some goals lessened/increased in importance? Has one of you come up with a new goal to discuss?

Remember, you don't have to lie down and DIE for the plan. It can be changed as circumstances dictate. But it also can't be so meaningless or so uninforced that it's just fluff and a waste of time. 

The meetings will have to be frequent in the beginning while you and your W get on the same page. It may take a few (or quite a few meetings.) Schedule them regularly so that they don't get shoved aside by daily concerns. As you get your budget and goals list into shape, the meetings will become less frequent (monthly, every few months, twice a year?) Eventually, you will get to the point where you will have your goals list ironed out. Review it AT least yearly. (New Year's? Wedding anniversary time? whatever).

I hope this helps. It seems to me that your problems are mostly a lack of communication and a lack of focus as a couple on building a solid family plan for what you BOTH see as the 'vision' for your family, both short- and long-term.

I hope this helps!


PS: I think I am PHYSICALLY incapable of giving anyone a short answer...unless it's sarcastic!


----------



## joeschmo (May 2, 2012)

thanks alot everybody. short on time now so will follow up next week


----------



## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Joe,

How old are the kids?

It does sound like your wife is definitely not pulling her weight. That should change. Tell her to go out and find a job to help support the family and she can use some of the money to have her parents out more frequently.

I know the in-law problems you face. My MIL is at my house almost every day of the week. My issues with thsi were met with anger and hurt feelings. There has also been talk in the past about her mother moving in with us. If it were an issue of money or health, I would be ok (grudingly) with it but it seems as if she wants to move in to be around my wife! MIL's other 2 kids do next to nothing for her. the woman owns 2 homes and yet I have to provide her dinner 5 nights a week (minimum) with never an offer to pay for the food!

I've always felt that if she (the MIL) moves in, I hope that my wife and her will be very happy together because I'll be moving out!

Remember this: What's the difference between In-Laws and Outlaws? Outlaws are wanted!


----------



## growtogether (Feb 27, 2012)

Hello Joe 
What would be the ideal situation here? You being able to live in Alaska, have a good relationship with your wife and your in laws? You know, I can understand your wife here about missing her family. I live far from them too, but they are as much important than my husband. I like to see them at least 4 times a year. (12 hours from each other)
She feels like she have to choose between you and your kid and her family...That's not right. It should sound like: We need to find solutions to get closer from them and still have a nice life together...
I see that you try to bring your in-laws in Alaska for the summer, and you invite them to come visit. 
What else can it be possible to get closer from them? How is Alaska important for you?


----------



## memyselfandi (Jan 10, 2012)

I agree with lovelygirl. 

I feel sorry for you as it's obvious how much you love your wife. What's sad is that she doesn't have the guts to stand up to her overbearing family as they have no reason not to like you as you've shown them in no uncertain terms what a good husband you are, a good parent, and a good provider.

I'm not sure if there's anything you CAN do at this point except be the good loving husband you are and let HER deal with her parents. Deal with them the best you can when they come to visit while reminding yourself that THEY'RE the ones with the problem..not you. Sounds to me like her family just enjoys the drama in anything they can find anyway.


----------



## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

joeschmo said:


> dont get me wrong she is a awesome mom and does a lot with the kids, she does clean but i do an equal amount and work full time and her idea of cooking is anything easy (6 ingredients or less) her bread maker broke so i showed her how to make bread without a bread maker but still no bread (just store bought). and a little effort put into a meal means alot to a me. i have spent a whole weekends cooking just to make her and the kids easy meals and snacks(homemade). little things add up.


You're upset that she didn't make bread by hand. I'm a little speechless. I'm conjuring up images of Quakers and the Amish. Are you guys very religious? I dont mean to offend you, and I apologize if it does, I just can't think of any other explanation for such an expectation. 



joeschmo said:


> her degree pisses me off because i am paying for it still and I never got to use my gi bill cause I was busy working for her to get her degree which she has never used. she did work a bit and when finances got tough I asked her to work for a year and after about 5 months i told her to quit because she was miserable and didnt like that she couldnt spend time with the kids (welcome to my world) she quit at about 8 months into the job.


You told her to quit and now you're resentful that she quit-- Joe, that complicates things. 

You probably need to work on your boundaries. Boundaries will help you develop honest communication by teaching you to recognize and express what you want instead of trying to manipulate your communication to fit what you think your spouse wants/needs.


----------



## KanDo (Jun 15, 2011)

Blanca said:


> You're upset that she didn't make bread by hand. I'm a little speechless. I'm conjuring up images of Quakers and the Amish. Are you guys very religious? I dont mean to offend you, and I apologize if it does, I just can't think of any other explanation for such an expectation. .


Making homemade bread is a religious thing?!?? :scratchhead:My family love it when I make bread. Way better that the junk in a plastic bag. NOt certain specifically about bread, but if you are a stay at home spouse, no reason not to prepare some meals for nutritional value, taste, and cost reduction:smthumbup:


----------



## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

> You're upset that she didn't make bread by hand.


I took Joe's comment to mean...

* she doesn't work outside the home
* she doesn't do 100% of the housework though she IS home (Joe helps)
* she's not putting forth a lot of effort in the cooking dept.
* they like home-baked bread, she had a bread-maker that broke, even though Joe showed her how to make bread by hand she's not even willing to put the effort out for that


----------



## joeschmo (May 2, 2012)

thanks to all for your info. once again I do not offend easily. blanca - I appreciate your concern and from your perspective i understand what you are getting at. I think I am a decent cook and I do make many things from scratch my self( you should try my cinnamon rolls that I get up at 3am to make so they are fresh out of the oven) because i enjoy the look on my wifes face. I am not saying every day or every week but it is simply the gesture of appreciation from time to time, little things that let you know your appreciated and it is not hard. 
I am not your "traditional" man, i dont believe a wife should be silent and cook and clean and pop out babies. I encourage my wife to do the things that make her happy, but sometimes I need help too.
I am not religious, I am an athiest (not an antithiest) and my wife is a christian from a VERY christian family, but i still go to church from time to time just to support my wife. 
I told her to quit her job because she came home everyday in a bad mood and she had a great job that required little effort and it was not healthy for our relationship. 
but thanks for asking and your concern


----------



## joeschmo (May 2, 2012)

I have had the "big talk" plenty of times with my wife but it does not seem to work well. however this past week was great, and my wife said she is trying to change and helped me out all weekend. she seemed to sincerely care and addressed many of my concerns. now I just need to get her to stand up for herself (and our family) to her parents which is something she says she is "working on". 
to slowlygetting wiser- i brought up some of the things you mentioned like the setting aside time and we have been doing that and it is a great idea.
growtogether- alaska is very important to me as i am an outdoors man and i like the freedoms that we have here. i dont mind leaving but i like to make the best of my time here. my wife also likes alaska but feels pressured to leave. she is content where we are and says eventually (few years) would like to move to lower 48. but inlaws constantly pressure her and bash every aspect of our lives (house, alaska, distance, decisions) but only to her not to me even though I have tried to bring it up.


----------



## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

Sounds like detachment from family of origin is really hard on your wife and this is causing some problems with your marriage. Her family is putting pressure on her to be closer to them and while she wants that, she also wants to be with you and have a life with you.

I understand what she is going through to some extent because I've got family issues that really impacted my (now-failed) marriage (this wasn't the main reason for failure, his infidelity did that) and has made dealing with it really tough. Given my perspective, I think she needs counseling to learn how to be more independent. She is a stay at home mom, not a stay at home wife and you should recognize that child-care takes A LOT of time and energy. 

You can't expect her to do ALL the housework and the child-raising on her own because that's two jobs to your one. House-keeping should be split between you if she is taking care of kids and you are taking care of finances. If you expect her to also get a job, then you need to embrace that half the childcare is going to be your job, too.

I think you're expecting too much from her and maybe being insensitive to her needs and that she is having a hard time detaching more from her family or origin because you guys have some marriage problems that she is feeling more deeply than you are feeling. I bet that more of her needs are going unfulfilled than yours and that you don't even know it. It sounds to me like you're trying to get her to be more of what you want her to be and less of who she actually is because the way you talk about the problems seems less about addressing your joint problem and more about whether or not what you want to happen is happening (no offense; you sound like you're trying your best to be a great husband; maybe look at the love languages book to see if it's being received by her the way you mean it to be). You don't want to lose your wife or break her spirit so please try and take her feelings into consideration instead of just emphasizing what you need and want (that's just what I'm seeing in your posts). I am guessing that one of the reasons her family wants to be closer is because even though they can't seem to meet her needs for acceptance and approval, they are recognizing that her needs whatever they are, aren't being met by her marriage either and are recognizing an unhappiness in her that she isn't articulating. I imagine she needs their support because you aren't letting her be fully herself either (even though you probably don't even realize it). If she is used to trying to get her family's approval, then she is probably trying to get yours by squashing some of her needs and not even expressing them.

So, let me backtrack a little. I do think she needs counseling to deal with the whole family not letting her be herself thing because it's probably making her be less herself around you, too, and causing problems that she isn't articulating. I also think that the two of you need marriage counseling, too. 

I don't think that you guys need to be adding more force to the directions in which you're moving to fix this situation, but that you need to apply the same force at different angles. She'll be less stressed by family issues if things between the two of you are better. Try and get her to open up about which of her needs aren't being met. Try to figure out if you guys speak the same love languages and whether or not your efforts and hers are truly being appreciated. 

I'm just trying to help you in your situation this is how I see things in my opinion. I'm wishing you both luck because it sounds like you probably both really care about each other and just need to make a nice thing into the great thing it could be, rather than that you need to fix a thing that has broken, which is refreshing and full of hope.


----------



## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

joeschmo said:


> I told her to quit her job because she came home everyday in a bad mood and she had a great job that required little effort and it was not healthy for our relationship.


If she did so, then she probably felt she had to choose between work and marriage. Encourage her to get another job, one that she likes!


----------



## joeschmo (May 2, 2012)

Thanks moxy, you bring up valid points which I feel i have tried to address many times. and when she was working I was taking care of the kids for 2 days out of the week (baby sitter the other 3 days) so i know some of the burdens, after our first child was born i did almost EVERYTHING for about 5 months till i finally brought it to her attention and she agreed that she had taken advantage. she has said that she just wants to be a stay at home mom and doesnt want to work but that does not pay for her degree (student loans) and the fact that i supported her through school. 

money is not everything to me and my finances are well in order, but she could make more money than me working less! and I would love to be a stay at home dad, cook, clean and play with kids all day?! to me that is not a job or 2 or 3 jobs, thats a luxury! 

I have found my wife many jobs and tried to help and encourage her to get a good challenging job or one in her degree of study and she has always taken the one that she likes...the ones with no responsibilities that hardly require a high school diploma! and i said thats fine if thats what you want to do but I wish you would use your degree for once(that shes had over 5 yrs).


detaching from family is hard... i did it in boot camp and got to see my family almost 2 yrs later. but how long should it normally take? especially when i feel i have bent over backwards. 

dont expect my wife to do all the housework just the majority. (thats inside stuff not outside!) and have told her I dont mind coming home to a messy house or projects not done because (copy and paste)"I was taking care of the kids for 2 days out of the week so i know some of the burdens"

and I have suggested counsiling for her (has not gone yet) and we went to couple counseling 4 or 5 sessions where all we talked about was her parents then she got to go on her month long vacation (while i worked and took care of the house) and we never made it back.

im trying to be open minded moxy but i must admit i feel that i have done very little wrong in this relationship.


----------



## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

KanDo said:


> Making homemade bread is a religious thing?!?? :scratchhead:


No.


----------



## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

joeschmo said:


> I would love to be a stay at home dad, cook, clean and play with kids all day?! to me that is not a job or 2 or 3 jobs, thats a luxury!


Your attitude tells me that you don't do much of the parenting. I think staying at home with kids is much harder then a regular job. Your wife doesn't play with kids all day. Being the parent means you have to discipline, and depending on their age, that's no fun. It's a thankless job of mind-numblingly boring work that goes on 24/7. But it seems like your wife has done an excellent job of not only disciplining your kids, but concealing the challenge of "playing with the kids all day."


----------



## joeschmo (May 2, 2012)

Thanks blanca. I know you are going to analyze and look for faults in all that i say from this point on...but here goes. 

you are right my wife does most of the parenting...cause I work 3 to 4 days a week very long hours in a very hazardous job that requires a lot of responsibilities. so i am at home only 3 or 4 days a week. when I am home I get up in the middle of the night to take care of any problems with our older child and when I can help with the younger one I do. i do an equal share in the discipline of our children when i am home but neither my wife or I believe in a single disciplinarian (wait till your father gets home)

obviously I know disciplining children is important and I have a lot of patience. overall our kids are very well behaved and have good manners for as young as they are (as told by others) so that should say something about our parenting skills and keep in mind during the short time my wife had a job, I was spending more time with the kids than her. 

i have to disagree with you on the "It's a thankless job of mind-numblingly boring work that goes on 24/7" especially because it is never mind numbing or boring raising kids. well at least not mine.

I am sure you and I have different perspectives on what work is, but raising kids is more fun than work to me. I am not putting down stay at home moms and I respect what my wife does, I am simply saying I would love to do it because when I was doing it 2 times a week while my wife was working, it was awesome and rewarding.

Also If you would read some of my previous entries i think you would see that I stated my wife is an awesome mother. 

please do a better job explaining why my homemade bread comment was so bad? and how it made you think i was a religious nut. "No" is not a good answer. i think it is sad that you think of the amish or quakers, especially since it is so easy and delicious. you should try it, you might even get a thank you which would take the "thankless" out of parenting as well!


----------



## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

She has a family. It's you, her husband and her kids. She needs to grow up. She might be a great mother, but she's a lousy wife and she's stuck on being someone's daughter. 

Whatever you do, do NOT move closer to her family. You will be miserable. I'd stay in Alaska and tell her to suck it up. It's time for her to figure out her priorities and where they lie. 

Good luck. Living in Alaska sounds way cool. I'd love to get up there myself one day..or someplace like it. :smthumbup:

BTW, I love homemade bread. With some spiced oil and a bottle of wine it's awesome. A lot of people like to cook. Why do you think the Food Network is so popular?


----------

