# He is selling our Things!



## Butterfly1014 (Jul 24, 2014)

Okay I have posted on here before and it seems every time I take a step forward he knocks me back. I have put the wheels in motion for the D first have to have a custody agreement with our son which pissed him off. I also filed for a legal aid lawyer to help with the D because I have no idea what to do and the paperwork is crazy. That pissed him off.
Now he is selling things, like the we bought during the marriage online! I do not know what to do! I don't have an official lawyer yet. I did print off the ad he made but I feel like he just keeps screwing me over! First he walks out on me and the kids, leaving me with little money, then I find out about the affair, now this! IDK! Sorry had to vent! Help!


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## IGSIMB (Dec 17, 2013)

What things is he selling, just wondering about the value and also, who bought them? I believe if he bought them he should be able to keep them or sell them in a case of D. Just my personal opinion.


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## bigbearsfan (Feb 11, 2014)

Start keeping track what he is selling and how much.
You need a lawyer now, you are going to have to have a judge sign orders for him not sell anything and to have him show all accounts and money collected and hidden from you.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

From my understanding neither one of you are permitted to make any large purchases or selling of items while D is in the process. This is marital property. 50/50. You need to get a lawyer asap!


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## ladymisato (Aug 5, 2014)

It's War of the Roses time, I guess.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Yeswecan said:


> From my understanding neither one of you are permitted to make any large purchases or selling of items while D is in the process. This is marital property. 50/50. You need to get a lawyer asap!


This^

Keep track, and he will likely be ordered to give you half the value. Stupid, stupid man.


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## Butterfly1014 (Jul 24, 2014)

He is selling things we bought with money together, while we were married! He took a bunch of things to his father's house when I left one day so it wouldn't be so hard on our son and I. Now he is selling it to support him and the OW! I am keeping track and hopefully this lawyer pans out quickly, love that it's a holiday weekend!


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Butterfly1014 said:


> He is selling things we bought with money together, while we were married! He took a bunch of things to his father's house when I left one day so it wouldn't be so hard on our son and I. Now he is selling it to support him and the OW! I am keeping track and hopefully this lawyer pans out quickly, love that it's a holiday weekend!


Huge NO NO on taking marital property and selling at will. He needs to be advised that he will owe you 50% of the proceeds and at market value. Not what he got for the item. Keep a record of it all. Take pictures of what remains so there is no question or doubt of what was sold.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

What an idiot he is.
Keep track of everything you can and go retain the legal aid attorney if possible. Print out any ad you notice. Document everything. Once some order/agreement/filing is made, then you can hold him accountable for selling marital property. In lots of cases even without sufficient proof of infidelity as a grounds for divorce, you can prove dissipation of marital assets as a basis for irreconcilable differences.


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## Butterfly1014 (Jul 24, 2014)

So he texted me about any bills being in his name and theres not because their all in mine. I ask him about the boat being sold and he tells me that its not marital property because he saying that his father lent him half the money for it. Total Bull Sh**!! I don't even know what to do, plus he sold it for more than what we paid for it. Seriously when am I going to stop being screwed over by this f'in guy! Sorry I usually don't get this angry but I know that his family would be dirty but now they are lying too.


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## commonsenseisn't (Aug 13, 2014)

Get a lawyer fast. Document everything.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

ladymisato said:


> It's War of the Roses time, I guess.


Never saw that movie. I'll have to see if is can find it... laughed through the entire trailer... all too true.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Butterfly1014 said:


> So he texted me about any bills being in his name and theres not because their all in mine. I ask him about the boat being sold and he tells me that its not marital property because he saying that his father lent him half the money for it. Total Bull Sh**!! I don't even know what to do, plus he sold it for more than what we paid for it. Seriously when am I going to stop being screwed over by this f'in guy! Sorry I usually don't get this angry but I know that his family would be dirty but now they are lying too.


Is there more left at your FIL's that he can sell? If so go get it and lock it up in storage.

If you cannot move it go get video footage of all of it. Make an inventory of what existed and what still exits. 

You need to file for divorce NOW and include an order for him to stop selling your things. Also include that inventory.

Don't boats have titles? Was your name on the title?

ETA: on that inventory include the boat. I hope you have pictures of it and copies of all paperwork associated with it. Attach photo copies.

IN the divorce the $$ he got for the boat go on his side of the balance sheet. Cash that you might otherwise get goes on your side.

So if he got $10,000 for the boat, you get an extra $10,000.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Does he have keys to your house? If he does change all the locks.

Remove everything of value form the house and put it in storage where he cannot get it. This includes all family photos, copies of all financial, legal and personal paperwork. Only keep copies of those in your house. If you have expensive jewelry, get it out of the house.

When I was going through my divorce I got a climate controlled storage room for this stuff. I got a PO Box so that all mail went there and he could not get my mail. 

Do not assume that the things that are in the house your living in are safe from him taking them. One of my BIL's left for his AP. Months later, after he had moved out he broke into the marital home and took everything of value. He took large Indian art and artifact collection, all of the family photos, her jewelry, and things I do not recall. He broke a small glass pane by the front door and got in that way. The neighbors told her that they saw him with a van taking everything. But the cops would not do anything because their divorce was not final.

She had no inventory. The only pictures she had were ones we'd taken when family was at her house so it was hard to prove that they even owned those things. 

Protect yourself.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

How many years have you been married?

Do you work FT or PT? 

Approximately how much has your husband earned over the course of your marriage?

Although his father contributed $$ towards the purchase of the boat, which would be considered "gift money" it also hinges on how much $$ you contributed towards the purchase and whose name is on the title.

Ele is absolutely right. The things he has sold or moved to his parents' home? List everything you can think of and its approximate resale value; NOT market value, but resale value. That will be less, but give it your best shot. After all, we're not talking about an original Picasso here ...

Do you have any family/friends who can store what remains in the house that you don't want him to grab?

Are you living in a community property or equity state? And, no, community property does not necessarily mean a 50/50 split of everything as people mistakenly believe.

In fact, community property states can we worse than equity states. In Arizona, spousal support (previously termed "alimony") is not required even in marriages of longevity.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> Is there more left at your FIL's that he can sell? If so go get it and lock it up in storage.
> 
> If you cannot move it go get video footage of all of it. Make an inventory of what existed and what still exits.
> 
> ...


This is correct least In my jurisdiction. Once the initial paperwork for the divorce is in He can't sell anything without your consent. Up until then he can. He may later be ordered to give you some money for it but best thing is to get the paperwork in and stop the selling now.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Wolf1974 said:


> This is correct least In my jurisdiction. Once the initial paperwork for the divorce is in He can't sell anything without your consent. Up until then he can. He may later be ordered to give you some money for it but best thing is to get the paperwork in and stop the selling now.


There is also the issue of squandering martial property. If one person an show that the other has squandered assets they can ask the court to award them half or all of what was squandered.

Even though the divorce has not been filed, in most places they are considered separated as soon as he left with his AP. So she can claim separation back to the time and divorce considerations can be taken back to that date.

He is using marital assets to carry on an affair. Even if she lives in a no-fault state, she can sue for the marital assets he used for his affair. 

So if he sold the boat.. she argues that the sold it to grab the assets . If he said he needed the money to live on she argues that he squandered marital assets to carry on an affair.


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## Butterfly1014 (Jul 24, 2014)

I really do appreciate all the advice I am getting. I was thinking it was going to be a hopeless cause but I don't think that one person walks out of a 4 yrs marriage with everything (him) and I get left holding the bag.
I did print off the ad and have made the list of things he took to the FIL prior, reading through other TAM pains. Only his name was on the title, though. I don't have a copy. I hate that it's a holiday weekend and he sold it. Here I am struggling to pay the bills and get the kids ready for school and he just got a lump sum. Sucks, but, "I can Do This", is my new motto!


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

It doesn't matter how it was titled. Property acquired during the marriage is almost ALWAYS marital.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> There is also the issue of squandering martial property. If one person an show that the other has squandered assets they can ask the court to award them half or all of what was squandered.
> 
> Even though the divorce has not been filed, in most places they are considered separated as soon as he left with his AP. So she can claim separation back to the time and divorce considerations can be taken back to that date.
> 
> ...


True I should have clarified more. 

Without the paperwork in its not a criminal offense for him to sell things. They are his things. After the paperwork is In We can enforce that as a contempt of court charge, criminal, or in some cases when someone moves money from one account to another account that can be theft. All criminal

Until then you are dealing with purely civil matter and we couldn't bring any criminal charges. This is how it works here I can't say they for certain in all areas of the country but the division of criminal and civil law is fairly universal. 

Either way you have options but leaving it solely up to a judge to decide isn't usually in the best interest. What they think is fair will vary from what you think is fair. And with some assets or heirlooms no amount of money will be satisfactory. 

Get your paperwork in as soon as possible


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Butterfly1014 said:


> I really do appreciate all the advice I am getting. I was thinking it was going to be a hopeless cause but I don't think that one person walks out of a 4 yrs marriage with everything (him) and I get left holding the bag.
> I did print off the ad and have made the list of things he took to the FIL prior, reading through other TAM pains. Only his name was on the title, though. I don't have a copy. I hate that it's a holiday weekend and he sold it. Here I am struggling to pay the bills and get the kids ready for school and he just got a lump sum. Sucks, but, "I can Do This", is my new motto!


As Pluto said... no matter whose name is on the title, in most states it still belongs to the both of you. Since you have the title, how did he transfer ownership to someone else?

Did his father give money towards buying the boat? Did you and he put money into the boat as well? If his father did give money towards buying the boat and your money went into it as well. It's community property. When community property/assets are mixed with sole gifts/inheritance/property.. it converts the sole to community. 

Is he giving you child support?

Does he have a job?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Wolf1974 said:


> True I should have clarified more.
> 
> Without the paperwork in its not a criminal offense for him to sell things. They are his things. After the paperwork is In We can enforce that as a contempt of court charge, criminal, or in some cases when someone moves money from one account to another account that can be theft. All criminal
> 
> ...


Right, I was not implying that it was anything criminal at this point.

But she does have options to be made whole financially.


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