# My wife and her ex boyfriend



## jd8158

I'll try to make a long story short - 
My wife and I have been married 10 years...very happy...2 wonderful children. She broke down a couple years after we were married and admitted she saw her old boyfriend "a couple times" when we were engaged. 
Needless to say, I was shocked. 
But I believe her when she says she has been 100% faithful since then. 
Like a fool, I wanted some of the details of who and when it happened, and all she would say it was with her ex boyfriend Paul, and it was after we moved into a two-flat just before we got married. 
Knowing we moved into that place 3 weeks before our wedding, I can only imagine how close to our wedding day did she sleep with Paul? To this day, she refuses to answer that question.
Anyhow- Paul moved to the east coast quite some time ago, so I was not worried about them ever hooking up again.
Until now.
My wife is going to a wedding in Florida in a couple of weeks with several of the people she used to hang out with. The bride to be is a very good friend of hers, and Paul is part of that circle of friends too.
I cannot attend the wedding due to my job and the kids.
So, she and Paul will be there...alone...together.
Knowing she cheated on me once with him, I am of course worried it will happen again.
This will sound bad - but my wife and I did some "roleplaying" I guess you would say about Paul, which led to some erotic emails between the two of them. The idea was she would never see him again, so who cares what they wrote to each other, right?
But knowing what those emails were about, and knowing he still wants her, will make it a very long weekend.
Part of me thinks that we are fine, and sex with Paul (if it comes to that) can never interfere with the life and family we have now.
What should I tell my wife??
I cannot forbid her to go, but I cannot be with her at the wedding either.
And those emails that I was part of that Paul has no idea she was sharing with me, are going to come back to haunt me I am sure. I do not want to get into the specifics of the emails here, but willing to discuss privatley if anyone is interested.
Anyhow, I'm a wreck already thinking about them together for a couple nights mid-month.
Anything I can do to relax about it a bit more?
Thank you


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## bobert

If she cared about you and your marriage at all, she wouldn't go to that wedding. She doesn't want to own up to her choices or face any consequences for them, and you are willing to go right along with that. 

You absolutely can tell her that if she goes to that wedding, your marriage is over. Just like you should have told her that she needs to answer _every _question or your marriage is over. 

She can only walk all over you if you allow it.


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## Evinrude58

So yoU did some role playing that involved her sexting her ex, and you thought that was a good ideA????????

And you “can’t forbid her to go”

and “Part of me thinks that we are fine, and sex with Paul (if it comes to that) can never interfere with the life and family we have now.”

I can’t wrap my head around the Logic you have going on in your head, but I’ll say this:

yes, sex with Paul will impact your family life, but not as bad as you appearing incredibly weak to your wife.

what you should do is: tell her she can go, but don’t pack lightly so there’s not as much if her stuff you’ll have to throw out. And tell her to bring a pen when she returns, you’ll have some papers for her to sign.

But you couldn’t possibly do that, right? You can’t wiv without her.... 

Show your wife some strength. She might even appreciate that.

I’ll say this, if she is hell bent on going to that wedding, you can bet old Paul is going to head home with a smile on his face.


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## Lostinthought61

Tell her that when she comes back that she be prepare to take a polygraph if you can’t trust her words. ....this is a huge red flag.


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## Sfort

jd8158 said:


> I'll try to make a long story short -
> My wife and I have been married 10 years...very happy...2 wonderful children. She broke down a couple years after we were married and admitted she saw her old boyfriend "a couple times" when we were engaged.
> Needless to say, I was shocked.
> But I believe her when she says she has been 100% faithful since then.
> Like a fool, I wanted some of the details of who and when it happened, and all she would say it was with her ex boyfriend Paul, and it was after we moved into a two-flat just before we got married.
> Knowing we moved into that place 3 weeks before our wedding, I can only imagine how close to our wedding day did she sleep with Paul? To this day, she refuses to answer that question.
> Anyhow- Paul moved to the east coast quite some time ago, so I was not worried about them ever hooking up again.
> Until now.
> My wife is going to a wedding in Florida in a couple of weeks with several of the people she used to hang out with. The bride to be is a very good friend of hers, and Paul is part of that circle of friends too.
> I cannot attend the wedding due to my job and the kids.
> So, she and Paul will be there...alone...together.
> Knowing she cheated on me once with him, I am of course worried it will happen again.
> This will sound bad - but my wife and I did some "roleplaying" I guess you would say about Paul, which led to some erotic emails between the two of them. The idea was she would never see him again, so who cares what they wrote to each other, right?
> But knowing what those emails were about, and knowing he still wants her, will make it a very long weekend.
> Part of me thinks that we are fine, and sex with Paul (if it comes to that) can never interfere with the life and family we have now.
> What should I tell my wife??
> I cannot forbid her to go, but I cannot be with her at the wedding either.
> And those emails that I was part of that Paul has no idea she was sharing with me, are going to come back to haunt me I am sure. I do not want to get into the specifics of the emails here, but willing to discuss privatley if anyone is interested.
> Anyhow, I'm a wreck already thinking about them together for a couple nights mid-month.
> Anything I can do to relax about it a bit more?
> Thank you


You're new here, so let me warn you that you are getting and going to get very honest responses from people who have been there, done that. The know of what they speak. Listen carefully.


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## frusdil

While you can't forbid her to go, you absolutely can inform her that she has a choice to make - remain married to you, or attend the wedding, but she can't have both.


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## GusPolinski

Tell her to be sure to pack up all her **** and take it with her because she won’t be coming back.

Not kidding. If you want to keep your wife and marriage, it’s time to balls up.

If this drives her away, oh well — she was planning to **** him anyway.

Also, WHAT. THE. ****.


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## JBTX

You can’t forbid her to go, but you can express that you’re not OK with this situation and that you’re not comfortable with her going. If she chooses to go after that, change the locks while she gone and put her things in storage. Give her a key to storage unit when she gets back. I know that sounds really harsh, but she is taking you for granted. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## HappilyMarried1

Ok @jd8158 how long has she known about this wedding and why have you not talked about any of this yet? How does she seem to appear about all of this after 10+ years she knows how you feel about all of this I would hope. I would think if she knows how you feel about this and the fact that she has already cheated on you less that 3 weeks before the wedding several times.

One other thing if you have not sit down and had a very serious talk about all of this what's to keep her from thinking that you may be ok with it since you encourgaged and participated in the erotic emails that you guys sent him. She should know for sure that he is going to think that she wants to jump him the monent they see each other. Also, she won't share things about her and him with you even after 10 years can you be sure she has communicated more with him that you don't know anything about. If she sent him "erotic emails" as you have said I'm pretty sure if the truth is known they have continued communicating behind your back. This is not good and their is nothing good that can come out of her going whatsoever. Best of luck!


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## jjj858

I would forbid her to go. Not because you’re “controlling”, but because her past actions show that she herself has no self control. She can’t be trusted. You’re more accepting than I am. If my wife had confessed that she slept with an ex at ANY point of our relationship, I don’t care if we had been together only a week, I would have filed on her. Her initial confession was divorce worthy. Now she’s just playing with fire going to this wedding and she knows damn well she will see “Paul” there and have another opportunity with him. Her justification will be “it was in a different state” or “what my husband doesn’t know won’t hurt him (or me)”.


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## Evinrude58

The thought that the only correspondence between them was both erotic AND fully known to OP is preposterous.

I’ll bet there’s not even an actual wedding taking place. Maybe a lot of consummating feelings though.

What OP knows and what he thinks he knows..


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## jjj858

And I just reread your post and saw the part about role playing about Paul and the email. WTH. Did you pretend to be Paul during sex or something? Dude you’ve allowed yourself to be cucked. All that stuff would indicate to me she is in no way over this guy. I hate to say this kinda thing, but you gotta man up and stop with this weak beta stuff and get your woman in line. I’m pissed just from reading your post.


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## Tested_by_stress

Cuckoldry via text or email? That's a new one for me.


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## jsmart

There’s no doubt that this guy will be thinking about finally getting to bang her again. As a married mother, banging her will feel like getting forbidden fruit. Your wife is probably also looking forward to giving herself to him. You would think that 10 years of marriage and becoming a mother would change her thinking but it will give her a chance to be a bad girl. 

You should in strong terms let her know that the fantasy talk in the past was just talk and you expect her to be true to you and the family. 

I really hope all these guys who take part in this wife sharing talk or are thinking about it read this thread. Virtual cuckoldry is almost as bad as the real thing. It sends a signal of weakness to the wife and that the OM has the better genes. 

Then there’s the fact that she doesn’t feel loved or protected. Even if she appears to be into it, subconsciously she feels insecure and is vulnerable to another guy emotionally claiming her. When some other dude is banging your freely offered up wife and he tells her if you were mine, I would never share you. Boom. Very powerful pull. Remember that women are emotional creatures that are mostly led by their feelings. A guy that makes her feel cherished is hard to resist. Whereas a husband who’s willing to share her does the opposite.


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## Captain Obvious

"Anyhow, I'm a wreck already thinking about them together for a couple nights mid-month.
Anything I can do to relax about it a bit more?"

You're a wreck because you know your wife is going to bang Paul on the wedding Trip. And why wouldn't she indulge? She's done it at least once already in your relationship and hasn't suffered any real consequences. She won't even answer how close to your wedding day her and Paul had last hurrah monkey sex, simply because she doesn't want and doesn't have to answer for it. She gets to go on an out of town wedding getaway with her ex-boyfriend and the dude she cheated on her fiance(you) with right before her wedding. And last but not least, she cuckolded her husband via the internet with your full participation and endorsement. Yeah you probably should be a wreck.


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## *Deidre*

You should go to the wedding. Convince your boss to have the day off. Honestly though, she shouldn't go if Paul is going to be there, without you.


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## Marc878

Be the modern man. It’s ok if she bangs her x. You don’t want to come across as controlling.
IMO I’d tell her you don’t go but if you do don’t come back. I guess I’m not a modern man.


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## DudeInProgress

*Deidre* said:


> You should go to the wedding. Convince your boss to have the day off. Honestly though, she shouldn't go if Paul is going to be there, without you.


I disagree. No way he should have to take off from work to babysit his wife and her ex-boyfriend/affair partner. 
She just does not get to go to the wedding at all, period (at least not if she wants to remain his wife).


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## Luckylucky

I don’t feel comfortable going to weddings if my husband can’t come, or other big social events. You spend most of the night being asked where your husband is 😀

Humour aside, let her go if she’s been safe around other men and generally doesn’t like male attention outside your marriage. If she’s still got a flame for him anyway, your marriage is a sham and will end if she doesn’t go to the wedding. We have social media now, they would have already met up. It’s so much easier now. 

If your wife is loyal, desires you and treats you like you’re a hot stud, acts appropriately around other men and doesn’t need a pat on the back for all the things she does for you and her family, enjoys having sex with you… then you are controlling and jealous. That bit will get you in more trouble in the long run. And she probably won’t be running into another man’s arms to get away from you one day. 

You know which of the two it is. Good luck I hope the situation works out.


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## Casual Observer

Sfort said:


> You're new here, so let me warn you that you are getting and going to get very honest responses from people who have been there, done that. The know of what they speak. Listen carefully.


There’s the epic “Affair resulting in pregnancy” thread that speaks to the dangers OP (in this thread) introduced to his marriage and the potentially-life-wrecking outcome. People just don’t understand the reasons for boundaries. They don’t get how playing with fire frequently leads to burns. Over. And over. And over. So many threads with the same feature.


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## AGoodFlogging

You've painted yourself into a corner here by not being decisive previously when she partially admitted her infidelity. I mean why tell you she "met" the guy around the time you married but refuse to admit they had sex. Well, of course they had sex, and you are a fool if you believe otherwise.

Tolerating the emails was monumentally dumb of you, sorry, but it is true.

The fact is you can't trust her around this guy and you have every reason not to. Time to draw a line in the sand and either get the real truth from her while she stays to work on her on marriage or start calling lawyers while she snuggles up to Paul in Florida.


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## ElwoodPDowd

Quit your job and go to the wedding with her.
It'll probably cost you less than the divorce.


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## frenchpaddy

MY 6 pence worth FILLING in the BLANKS 

I read it as your wife did not see Paul as a man that was good enough to be a husband or father , 
but he was good in bed or pleased her in a way that made her feel good ,
so you wife wanted to have one last fling with Paul before she got married , 
so in the run up to the wedding when most women have their mind on arrangements and putting the plans for the wedding right you wife fixed a **** date with Paul in your two-flat ((( your bed ))) in the last 3 weeks before ,

you found out sometime later that Paul had been with her in you tow flat 
but you think there might be a chance nothing happened ,
you used to talk about this a lot in bed before or after sex and IT BECAME 
a part of you sex life , you both got turned on by the idea of her having sex with Paul 
to add to the Kink you used PAUL by striking up email contact where both of you warmed up Paul 
and these emails were hot for you to get turned on more that night in bed or you might have been in bed sending him the emails ,

now Paul and wife are going to meet 
and you know the emails are making it hard for wife not to back up what she and you were saying on the emails 
PAUL WILL BE EXPECTING and wife with a few drinks will have a hard job not doing the dirty with her bad boy 

will it happen no one knows 
there is a high chance it will ,
one side of you wants it to happen if you get to use it for your sex life 
another side wants it not to happen as you think she will cover up and not tell you 

to me you seem to be a cuckold 
there is nothing wrong with been one if it makes you happy ,
but to make it work you have to be open to each other 
how it makes you feel and how you want to know what happened after 
trust is very important 

trust is important in all types of relationships ,
it seems like your wife has not been able tell you the truth in the past about what happened in the run up to the wedding 
have you been honest in telling her how it makes you feel knowing the emails content


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## frenchpaddy

ElwoodPDowd said:


> Quit your job and go to the wedding with her.
> It'll probably cost you less than the divorce.


you are right in that it would cost him less


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## manwithnoname

In her mind, you've not only forgiven her but support her desire for Paul with all this stupid "role playing" nonsense that verifies your status as a ****. Even if she goes and after she comes back if the thought of her banging Paul is too much for you and you can muster up enough balls to divorce her, she won't understand why, because you have already gave her permission. 

This is what she needs to hear:

"Wife, I should have divorced your cheating ass years ago when you admitted ****ing Paul right before our wedding. I was a fool to play along with the role playing nonsense and I fully regret it. Sign these divorce papers now, and have fun at the wedding."

You must know, that they ****ed the night before your wedding, right?


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## In Absentia

I'm going to suggest something controversial: I would let her go to the wedding, as a sort of test. If she is unfaithful to you (and you would know - she wouldn't be able to hide it), then you have your answer. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with this sword of Damocles hanging on your head?


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## manwithnoname

In Absentia said:


> I'm going to suggest something controversial: I would let her go to the wedding, as a sort of test. If she is unfaithful to you (and you would know - she wouldn't be able to hide it), then you have your answer. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with this sword of Damocles hanging on your head?


Problem is, he already knows the result of the test. He's basically forgiven her for the past and given her permission for the future. So I guess, if this all turns him on, he should just let her go and then "reclaim" her when she gets back.


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## ABHale

Why are you complaining. 

You sound like a happy cuckold that really wants his wife to be ****ed by a real man. The man you know you will never be. Just make sure to get on your knees and beg her to return to you after she is with her lover. 

So your wife cheated on you right before your wedding and you are still with her. That is your problem, you chose to stay with a cheater. You then push her into emailing Paul to get off on it. It they have sex just remember it is all on you. 

Do you enjoy being your wife’s little *****?


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## ABHale

ElwoodPDowd said:


> Quit your job and go to the wedding with her.
> It'll probably cost you less than the divorce.


He wouldn’t stop anything if he went. He would probably sit in the corner and watch.


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## In Absentia

manwithnoname said:


> Problem is, *he already knows the result of the test. *He's basically forgiven her for the past and given her permission for the future. So I guess, if this all turns him on, he should just let her go and then "reclaim" her when she gets back.


Well, he doesn't...


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## Divinely Favored

I would tell her she cant go since she is to have no contact with him. If she gives you crap, then say OK but i am going to and if i see Paul i am going to beat his azz at the wedding.


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## Rus47

jd8158 said:


> I'll try to make a long story short -
> My wife and I have been married 10 years...very happy...2 wonderful children. She broke down a couple years after we were married and admitted she saw her old boyfriend "a couple times" when we were engaged.
> Needless to say, I was shocked.
> But I believe her when she says she has been 100% faithful since then.
> Like a fool, I wanted some of the details of who and when it happened, and all she would say it was with her ex boyfriend Paul, and it was after we moved into a two-flat just before we got married.
> Knowing we moved into that place 3 weeks before our wedding, I can only imagine how close to our wedding day did she sleep with Paul? To this day, she refuses to answer that question.
> Anyhow- Paul moved to the east coast quite some time ago, so I was not worried about them ever hooking up again.
> Until now.
> My wife is going to a wedding in Florida in a couple of weeks with several of the people she used to hang out with. The bride to be is a very good friend of hers, and Paul is part of that circle of friends too.
> I cannot attend the wedding due to my job and the kids.
> So, she and Paul will be there...alone...together.
> Knowing she cheated on me once with him, I am of course worried it will happen again.
> This will sound bad - but my wife and I did some "roleplaying" I guess you would say about Paul, which led to some erotic emails between the two of them. The idea was she would never see him again, so who cares what they wrote to each other, right?
> But knowing what those emails were about, and knowing he still wants her, will make it a very long weekend.
> Part of me thinks that we are fine, and sex with Paul (if it comes to that) can never interfere with the life and family we have now.
> *What should I tell my wife??
> I cannot forbid her to go, but I cannot be with her at the wedding either.*
> And those emails that I was part of that Paul has no idea she was sharing with me, are going to come back to haunt me I am sure. I do not want to get into the specifics of the emails here, but willing to discuss privatley if anyone is interested.
> Anyhow, I'm a wreck already thinking about them together for a couple nights mid-month.
> Anything I can do to relax about it a bit more?
> Thank you


The only thing to tell her is to stay home with you. Not sure why you can't forbid her to go, but if you allow it don't be surprised at what happens. Since you agreed to bring her BF back into your marriage, and allowed her to send erotic emails to him, what do you think is going to happen? Your role playing involved him, she is back where she was shortly before you married.

Let her go to this wedding and you know for sure what will happen. And you think them having sex is NOT going to impact your marriage??!! Most women can only focus emotionally on one man at a time. You are willingly going to step away and let her focus on her old BF


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## Blondilocks

You can e-mail Paul and tell him that you appreciated him being fodder for your sexcapades. However, you now have two children and would like to keep your marriage closed.

He may look very differently at your wife when he learns he was bamboozled and used.


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## Rus47

frenchpaddy said:


> MY 6 pence worth FILLING in the BLANKS
> 
> *I read it as your wife did not see Paul as a man that was good enough to be a husband or father ,
> but he was good in bed or pleased her in a way that made her feel good ,
> so you wife wanted to have one last fling with Paul before she got married ,
> so in the run up to the wedding when most women have their mind on arrangements and putting the plans for the wedding right you wife fixed a **** date with Paul in your two-flat ((( your bed ))) in the last 3 weeks before ,*
> 
> you found out sometime later that Paul had been with her in you tow flat
> but you think there might be a chance nothing happened ,
> you used to talk about this a lot in bed before or after sex and IT BECAME
> a part of you sex life , you both got turned on by the idea of her having sex with Paul
> to add to the Kink you used PAUL by striking up email contact where both of you warmed up Paul
> and these emails were hot for you to get turned on more that night in bed or you might have been in bed sending him the emails ,
> 
> now Paul and wife are going to meet
> and you know the emails are making it hard for wife not to back up what she and you were saying on the emails
> PAUL WILL BE EXPECTING and wife with a few drinks will have a hard job not doing the dirty with her bad boy
> 
> will it happen no one knows
> there is a high chance it will ,
> one side of you wants it to happen if you get to use it for your sex life
> another side wants it not to happen as you think she will cover up and not tell you
> 
> to me you seem to be a cuckold
> there is nothing wrong with been one if it makes you happy ,
> but to make it work you have to be open to each other
> how it makes you feel and how you want to know what happened after
> trust is very important
> 
> trust is important in all types of relationships ,
> it seems like your wife has not been able tell you the truth in the past about what happened in the run up to the wedding
> have you been honest in telling her how it makes you feel knowing the emails content


Sounds like the plot from the Netflix series? Is OP's name Cooper? Wife is Billie? BF is Brad?


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## Benbutton

Stand up for yourself. My God your post repulsed me more than your wife's behavior. You tell her it's not ok and give her a choice, the wedding or her marriage. If she counts on your ball-lessness then she'll go. If that's the case be prepared to serve her papers upon her return. I'm being serious here, don't make yourself a victim, you did it once already and now look where you are. Wake up.


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## ABHale

How old are your kids?

Is one around 9-9 1/2?


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## Sfort

*Deidre* said:


> You should go to the wedding. Convince your boss to have the day off. Honestly though, she shouldn't go if Paul is going to be there, without you.


Call in sick.


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## Marc878

She is a cheater. Banged him right before she married you. She’ll be more than happy to bang him again.


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## Robert22205

She couldn't control herself days before her wedding. Why do you think it'll be different this time? 

And even if they don't have sex - the AP (even if he's a loser) will be back fresh in her head (as a fantasy you can't compete with). And that fantasy will become an ongoing wedge between you that will weaken your relationship. 

You can't physically stop her but you can give her consequences. Under the circumstances, if she wants to stay married, you can inform her that attending an out of town wedding where her AP will be in attendance will result in divorce. 

She actually answered your question when she refused to disclose how close was their last sex prior to your wedding.

Answer: Within days of her wedding. In her head she knows it was wrong - but was unable to control herself - and did it anyway.

Every spouse has a right to not worry/fear infidelity. And every spouse has an obligation to avoid doing anything that would raise the issue of infidelity. Based on her cheating past, your wife going to the wedding is a major failure.

Finally, her not going to the wedding is one of the few consequences of her cheating while engaged to you. She should be grateful that's the only consequence.

Put your foot down. It's not your fault she should not attend. She did this to herself by cheating with this guy while engaged to you.


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## jsmart

Rus47 said:


> The only thing to tell her is to stay home with you. Not sure why you can't forbid her to go, but if you allow it don't be surprised at what happens. Since you agreed to bring her BF back into your marriage, and allowed her to send erotic emails to him, what do you think is going to happen? Your role playing involved him, she is back where she was shortly before you married.
> 
> Let her go to this wedding and you know for sure what will happen. And you think them having sex is NOT going to impact your marriage??!! Most women can only focus emotionally on one man at a time. You are willingly going to step away and let her focus on her old BF


So true, how many threads have we had about guys “ sharing “ their wife that ends up with in an affair with the OM. Unbelievably the OP is asking will this impact his marriage. Yes it will. She will come back emotionally distant and not wanting to be sexually touched. Sadly, this will impact their kids because when a WW has just initiated a sexual affair, the OM is all that will be in her mind. They can be in the room with their kids but her mind and heart is with OM until she comes down from the high, which can take a LONG time. 

I would check her phone and social media to see if she has already been in contact with OM. They may have already been discussing what they want to do with each other. Also check to see if she’s sent any photos to this guy over the years.


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## D0nnivain

jd8158 said:


> What should I tell my wife??


You should tell her that you don't want her to go to this wedding. Tell her your fears & ask her to reassure you by skipping the trip. If she kicks you when you are down & vulnerable, you have to take a long hard look at your relationship.

I also agree that it would be better if you went to the wedding with her.


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## Rus47

jsmart said:


> So true, how many threads have we had about guys “ sharing “ their wife that ends up with in an affair with the OM. Unbelievably the OP is asking will this impact his marriage. Yes it will. She will come back emotionally distant and not wanting to be sexually touched. Sadly, this will impact their kids because when a WW has just initiated a sexual affair, the OM is all that will be in her mind. They can be in the room with their kids but her mind and heart is with OM until she comes down from the high, which can take a LONG time.
> 
> I would check her phone and social media to see if she has already been in contact with OM. They may have already been discussing what they want to do with each other. Also check to see if she’s sent any photos to this guy over the years.


DNA test the kids? Somewhere there ought be a sticky with all the actions to take. They are always the same


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## jd8158

bobert said:


> If she cared about you and your marriage at all, she wouldn't go to that wedding. She doesn't want to own up to her choices or face any consequences for them, and you are willing to go right along with that.
> 
> You absolutely can tell her that if she goes to that wedding, your marriage is over. Just like you should have told her that she needs to answer _every _question or your marriage is over.
> 
> She can only walk all over you if you allow it.





jd8158 said:


> I'll try to make a long story short -
> My wife and I have been married 10 years...very happy...2 wonderful children. She broke down a couple years after we were married and admitted she saw her old boyfriend "a couple times" when we were engaged.
> Needless to say, I was shocked.
> But I believe her when she says she has been 100% faithful since then.
> Like a fool, I wanted some of the details of who and when it happened, and all she would say it was with her ex boyfriend Paul, and it was after we moved into a two-flat just before we got married.
> Knowing we moved into that place 3 weeks before our wedding, I can only imagine how close to our wedding day did she sleep with Paul? To this day, she refuses to answer that question.
> Anyhow- Paul moved to the east coast quite some time ago, so I was not worried about them ever hooking up again.
> Until now.
> My wife is going to a wedding in Florida in a couple of weeks with several of the people she used to hang out with. The bride to be is a very good friend of hers, and Paul is part of that circle of friends too.
> I cannot attend the wedding due to my job and the kids.
> So, she and Paul will be there...alone...together.
> Knowing she cheated on me once with him, I am of course worried it will happen again.
> This will sound bad - but my wife and I did some "roleplaying" I guess you would say about Paul, which led to some erotic emails between the two of them. The idea was she would never see him again, so who cares what they wrote to each other, right?
> But knowing what those emails were about, and knowing he still wants her, will make it a very long weekend.
> Part of me thinks that we are fine, and sex with Paul (if it comes to that) can never interfere with the life and family we have now.
> What should I tell my wife??
> I cannot forbid her to go, but I cannot be with her at the wedding either.
> And those emails that I was part of that Paul has no idea she was sharing with me, are going to come back to haunt me I am sure. I do not want to get into the specifics of the emails here, but willing to discuss privatley if anyone is interested.
> Anyhow, I'm a wreck already thinking about them together for a couple nights mid-month.
> Anything I can do to relax about it a bit more?
> Thank you


OP here....thank you all for the honest responses.


jd8158 said:


> I'll try to make a long story short -
> My wife and I have been married 10 years...very happy...2 wonderful children. She broke down a couple years after we were married and admitted she saw her old boyfriend "a couple times" when we were engaged.
> Needless to say, I was shocked.
> But I believe her when she says she has been 100% faithful since then.
> Like a fool, I wanted some of the details of who and when it happened, and all she would say it was with her ex boyfriend Paul, and it was after we moved into a two-flat just before we got married.
> Knowing we moved into that place 3 weeks before our wedding, I can only imagine how close to our wedding day did she sleep with Paul? To thihs day, she refuses to answer that question.
> Anyhow- Paul moved to the east coast quite some time ago, so I was not worried about them ever hooking up again.
> Until now.
> My wife is going to a wedding in Florida in a couple of weeks with several of the people she used to hang out with. The bride to be is a very good friend of hers, and Paul is part of that circle of friends too.
> I cannot attend the wedding due to my job and the kids.
> So, she and Paul will be there...alone...together.
> Knowing she cheated on me once with him, I am of course worried it will happen again.
> This will sound bad - but my wife and I did some "roleplaying" I guess you would say about Paul, which led to some erotic emails between the two of them. The idea was she would never see him again, so who cares what they wrote to each other, right?
> But knowing what those emails were about, and knowing he still wants her, will make it a very long weekend.
> Part of me thinks that we are fine, and sex with Paul (if it comes to that) can never interfere with the life and family we have now.
> What should I tell my wife??
> I cannot forbid her to go, but I cannot be with her at the wedding either.
> And those emails that I was part of that Paul has no idea she was sharing with me, are going to come back to haunt me I am sure. I do not want to get into the specifics of the emails here, but willing to discuss privatley if anyone is interested.
> Anyhow, I'm a wreck already thinking about them together for a couple nights mid-month.
> Anything I can do to relax about it a bit more?
> Thank you


I'll try to clarify a few things here....
Fist of all, I appreciate al the responses, and I know I deserve the more harsh ones.
Anyhow, I'm not going to tell my wife she CANT go to one of her best friends weddings. I know its important to her.
She is looking forward to being a bridesmaid on the beach. 
And its just silly to say I should divorce her if she goes - throw away 10 wonderful years because of what MIGHT happen with Paul?
I realize the roleplaying and her erotic emails to him were probably a mistake, but that was something we did as a couple. I did not think they would ever see each other again since he moved - let alone having a couple nights in Florida together. But I see it like this....his pathetic emails to her just proved that I "won". She is with me. Paul lost.
My wife would never leave her home, her family, and her husband just for a guy with a big ****.
She felt so guilty about cheating when we were engaged, to the point where it was eating her up inside. So she confessed. And should I really care how close to our wedding that it happened- or whether it was in my own bed or not? 
Someone responded to my post about if one of children was 91/2 years old....lol....and no they are not. Paul did touch on that subject in one of his emails saying how he hoped he DID get her pregnant. But that was more just a fantasy he admitted to her.
Bottom line is, if something does happen in Florida. we will work it out. That is what married couples do.
I just know I will be thinking about it all weekend...wondering....so its going to be a brutal couple days on my end.


----------



## Rus47

D0nnivain said:


> You should tell her that you don't want her to go to this wedding. Tell her your fears & ask her to reassure you by skipping the trip. If she kicks you when you are down & vulnerable, you have to take a long hard look at your relationship.
> 
> I also agree that it would be better if you went to the wedding with her.


Him going with her wont stop her doing BF. 5-15 minutes is all it takes.


----------



## Rus47

jd8158 said:


> OP here....thank you all for the honest responses.
> 
> I'll try to clarify a few things here....
> Fist of all, I appreciate al the responses, and I know I deserve the more harsh ones.
> Anyhow, I'm not going to tell my wife she CANT go to one of her best friends weddings. I know its important to her.
> She is looking forward to being a bridesmaid on the beach.
> And its just silly to say I should divorce her if she goes - throw away 10 wonderful years because of what MIGHT happen with Paul?
> I realize the roleplaying and her erotic emails to him were probably a mistake, but that was something we did as a couple. I did not think they would ever see each other again since he moved - let alone having a couple nights in Florida together. But I see it like this....his pathetic emails to her just proved that I "won". She is with me. Paul lost.
> *My wife would never leave her home, her family, and her husband just for a guy with a big ****.*
> She felt so guilty about cheating when we were engaged, to the point where it was eating her up inside. So she confessed. And should I really care how close to our wedding that it happened- or whether it was in my own bed or not?
> Someone responded to my post about if one of children was 91/2 years old....lol....and no they are not. Paul did touch on that subject in one of his emails saying how he hoped he DID get her pregnant. But that was more just a fantasy he admitted to her.
> *Bottom line is, if something does happen in Florida. we will work it out.* That is what married couples do.
> I just know I will be thinking about it all weekend...wondering....so its going to be a brutal couple days on my end.


Oh really?!? Happens all of the time! Just page through the threads on here and see the OM doesn't even need to have a bigger ****. ( but it surely doesn't hurt ). In one case on another thread my nickname for the WW boyfriend was "Mr Little" because he was lacking in that department and the WW was chagrined that her boyfriend wasn't as big as her husband. Didn't even slow her down from doing him for weeks ( until she caught an STD ). 

You are the provider, Paul is the attraction, especially since she knows what he offers. Like I said before you are Cooper, BF is Brad. Hopefully she will use birth control when she goes to the wedding given Pauls stated desire to get her pregnant. And she needs to be tested for STDs when (and if) she returns.

Anyway, lot of people have advised you about this and evidently you are hellbent to go ahead and facilitate the train wreck happening. And don't even mind cleaning up the debris. You are way more sanguine about it than 99% of husbands would be. In fact, for me the whole incident before your marriage would have been sufficient to just end it. Doing it with him in MY bed?!? 

We will see how well you "work it out", maybe you two are the open marriage type, but for nearly all conventional married people "working it out" aint what they do.


----------



## Evinrude58

jd8158 said:


> OP here....thank you all for the honest responses.
> 
> I'll try to clarify a few things here....
> Fist of all, I appreciate al the responses, and I know I deserve the more harsh ones.
> Anyhow, I'm not going to tell my wife she CANT go to one of her best friends weddings. I know its important to her.
> She is looking forward to being a bridesmaid on the beach.
> And its just silly to say I should divorce her if she goes - throw away 10 wonderful years because of what MIGHT happen with Paul?
> I realize the roleplaying and her erotic emails to him were probably a mistake, but that was something we did as a couple. I did not think they would ever see each other again since he moved - let alone having a couple nights in Florida together. But I see it like this....his pathetic emails to her just proved that I "won". She is with me. Paul lost.
> My wife would never leave her home, her family, and her husband just for a guy with a big ****.
> She felt so guilty about cheating when we were engaged, to the point where it was eating her up inside. So she confessed. And should I really care how close to our wedding that it happened- or whether it was in my own bed or not?
> Someone responded to my post about if one of children was 91/2 years old....lol....and no they are not. Paul did touch on that subject in one of his emails saying how he hoped he DID get her pregnant. But that was more just a fantasy he admitted to her.
> Bottom line is, if something does happen in Florida. we will work it out. That is what married couples do.
> I just know I will be thinking about it all weekend...wondering....so its going to be a brutal couple days on my end.


Sorry, but your thinking is flawed here. You seem to think that what YOU want matters. She may very well not bang the guy. But if she does and all these “feelings” she has for him are strong enough, she may choose to go be with him and there’s no working it out. Because it’s a marriage and BOTH of you have to be wanting it. You won’t be the first one who was shocked that their wife chose their ex over being with their husband.

Then again, you don’t think like I do. I wouldn’t stay with a woman that I even thought MIGHT want another man. You’re content with her and your life with her. I hope your conclusions are right. 

someone pointed out that her not getting to go to her close friend’s wedding would be a small price to pay for banging him on the eve of your wedding, and I personally think if this story is true, that is exactly what happened. Your wife banged this guy when she should have been most in love with you.

To expect that your wife is going to be or has been faithful to you is very unlikely.


----------



## seadoug105

jd8158 said:


> OP here....thank you all for the honest responses.
> 
> I'll try to clarify a few things here....
> Fist of all, I appreciate al the responses, and I know I deserve the more harsh ones.
> Anyhow, I'm not going to tell my wife she CANT go to one of her best friends weddings. I know its important to her.
> She is looking forward to being a bridesmaid on the beach.
> And its just silly to say I should divorce her if she goes - throw away 10 wonderful years because of what MIGHT happen with Paul?
> I realize the roleplaying and her erotic emails to him were probably a mistake, but that was something we did as a couple. I did not think they would ever see each other again since he moved - let alone having a couple nights in Florida together. But I see it like this....his pathetic emails to her just proved that I "won". She is with me. Paul lost.
> My wife would never leave her home, her family, and her husband just for a guy with a big ****.
> She felt so guilty about cheating when we were engaged, to the point where it was eating her up inside. So she confessed. And should I really care how close to our wedding that it happened- or whether it was in my own bed or not?
> Someone responded to my post about if one of children was 91/2 years old....lol....and no they are not. Paul did touch on that subject in one of his emails saying how he hoped he DID get her pregnant. But that was more just a fantasy he admitted to her.
> *Bottom line is, if something does happen in Florida. we will work it out. That is what married couples do.*
> I just know I will be thinking about it all weekend...wondering....so its going to be a brutal couple days on my end.


Re: bold…
this is a great approach to most things in marriage. I’m sure you both strongly agree with this. And because of this she knows you feel this way. Which why she won’t be risking her marriage for his big ”bird” (re: underlined).

if anything… her knowing all the above and that you have read/know about their erotic/fantasy messages, means she absolutely will sleep with him repeatedly without protection.

to be 1000% honest (and I know I’m not the only one), I can’t help but feel you almost want it to happen. Like some sort of cuckold fantasy. 

I don’t say that to offend you, but If you don‘t won’t that to happen you have to make clear that, that action has a consequence. and that consequence is immediate divorce, exposure to family of the affair, past cheating, and the fantasy that your kids were really his….

I gotta stop here… the more I type the more I question ….

are you for real?

if you are?

is it possible she is with you because you are the “safe guy”/ plan b-z?

if ex want to marry her b4 you came along would she have?


----------



## ABHale

jd8158 said:


> OP here....thank you all for the honest responses.
> 
> I'll try to clarify a few things here....
> Fist of all, I appreciate al the responses, and I know I deserve the more harsh ones.
> Anyhow, I'm not going to tell my wife she CANT go to one of her best friends weddings. I know its important to her.
> She is looking forward to being a bridesmaid on the beach.
> And its just silly to say I should divorce her if she goes - throw away 10 wonderful years because of what MIGHT happen with Paul?
> I realize the roleplaying and her erotic emails to him were probably a mistake, but that was something we did as a couple. I did not think they would ever see each other again since he moved - let alone having a couple nights in Florida together. But I see it like this....his pathetic emails to her just proved that I "won". She is with me. Paul lost.
> My wife would never leave her home, her family, and her husband just for a guy with a big ****.
> She felt so guilty about cheating when we were engaged, to the point where it was eating her up inside. So she confessed. And should I really care how close to our wedding that it happened- or whether it was in my own bed or not?
> Someone responded to my post about if one of children was 91/2 years old....lol....and no they are not. Paul did touch on that subject in one of his emails saying how he hoped he DID get her pregnant. But that was more just a fantasy he admitted to her.
> Bottom line is, if something does happen in Florida. we will work it out. That is what married couples do.
> I just know I will be thinking about it all weekend...wondering....so its going to be a brutal couple days on my end.


You didn’t win anything but a cheating wife. She had sex with her lover with in 3 weeks of marriage to you. 

You are the pathetic one that stayed with a cheater then got off on the fact. 

You are the one that is ok with her ****ing him again. 

You are the one alright with being cuckold by your wife with him when she goes to the wedding. 

You are the pathetic loser in his eyes that can’t keep his wife satisfied. 

You are the delusional one.


----------



## In Absentia

Almost everybody here is convinced that she will cheat on him. Not a lot of faith in the ability to forgive, change and be forgiven in this thread, but then it's the nature of TAM. It's a very sad and cynic world we live in.


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## ABHale

That isn’t what a married couple does. 

That is what a cuckold does. Enjoy 😂😂😂


----------



## In Absentia

ABHale said:


> That isn’t what a married couple does.


Well, if he stops her from going, he will lose her and he might lose her if she goes. What's better?


----------



## Evinrude58

In Absentia said:


> Almost everybody here is convinced that she will cheat on him. Not a lot of faith in the ability to forgive, change and be forgiven in this thread, but then it's the nature of TAM. It's a very sad and cynic world we live in.


Human nature is what it is. People will stay with cheaters or frigid wives because they hope for the best in their wives. When a person shows you who they are through their actions, it’s best one believes the actions and plans accordingly.

OP already knows what’s going to happen and plans on “working through it”. Hopefully she won’t develop a taste for other men or another man.


----------



## Rus47

In Absentia said:


> Almost everybody here is convinced that she will cheat on him. Not a lot of faith in the ability to forgive, change and be forgiven in this thread, but then it's the nature of TAM. It's a very sad and cynic world we live in.


Nothing to forgive or change. He is ok with her going far away to do her BF. He was ok with her corresponding with the guy and even helped her compose the emails. He was ok with her doing BF before ( and maybe after) she married him, in HIS home and bed. So maybe they are actually a specific type of three-way where the third participates from a distance. Why would we NOT be convinced she will "cheat" on him given any chance at all? He has let her know already he is cool with whatever goes down. I don't think the husband even sees this as "cheating".


----------



## jjj858

ugh I can’t even with this dude. He’s beyond help.


----------



## HappilyMarried1

jd8158 said:


> *Bottom line is, if something does happen in Florida. we will work it out.*


Are you actually serious with this statement from your last post? While I along with many on here may not agree with how you are handling this, but that is between you and your wife. With what has happened between them and between both of you and her ex how could this even be a possibility???

I mean surely to goodness you two have discussed this and if she has any love or respect for your marriage she would have already told you not to worry she would not do anything to risk her marriage and family. That she will not have anything to do with him or even talk to him alone while she is there, and furthermore she should be kissing your feet and saying how much she appreciates and loves you for trusting her to go. If none if this has occurred you can rest assured something very well may happen and probably will heck she and he may already have it planned out. I hope not. 

I guess as dumb as this may seem based on what you have shared with us I'll ask it anyway have you talked this all out? Has she gave you assurances that nothing will happen and she will do what I said she should do above? Best of luck! I think you will need it.


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## jlg07

With your attitude, your wife WILL bang him , multiple times, because she KNOWS you won't do anything about it.
I guess if that turns you on, then let her go there.


----------



## In Absentia

Evinrude58 said:


> Human nature is what it is. People will stay with cheaters or frigid wives because they hope for the best in their wives. When a person shows you who they are through their actions, it’s best one believes the actions and plans accordingly.
> 
> OP already knows what’s going to happen and plans on “working through it”. Hopefully she won’t develop a taste for other men or another man.


I guess you don't believe in forgiveness, even when people have demonstrated time and time again they have changed? Frigid wives should be abandoned and cheaters should be left rotting in hell. I get it.


----------



## In Absentia

Rus47 said:


> Nothing to forgive or change. He is ok with her going far away to do her BF.


So, you are 100% sure he will have another affair with "Paul".


----------



## Evinrude58

In Absentia said:


> Well, if he stops her from going, he will lose her and he might lose her if she goes. What's better?


From your point of view, it’s definitely better to keep her no matter what.
From his as well. A question for you both, is are you happy, or are you just scared to move on and find a spouse that loves you enough to be faithful or want YOU more than someone else?

For others, he’s not “losing her”. If she wants another man, she’s gone in her mind already and needs to be allowed to leave and be happy, so he can move on and get happy too. 

Losing a cheating wife is like “Losing” a tapeworm. The loss is beneficial in that one is no longer infested with a parasite.


----------



## Evinrude58

In Absentia said:


> I guess you don't believe in forgiveness, even when people have demonstrated time and time again they have changed? Frigid wives should be abandoned and cheaters should be left rotting in hell. I get it.


She hasn’t changed, though. She was sending him erotic emails DURING the marriage. Her own husband still thinks she’s going to do the guy. Where has she changed?

yes, I do believe in forgiveness if a person has turned and repented, but not if they haven’t.

And yes, why would anyone stay miserable with a frigid wife? It’s illogical. If they unfroze, sure, but who has the defrosted one? Do they exist?


----------



## In Absentia

Evinrude58 said:


> From your point of view, it’s definitely better to keep her no matter what.
> From his as well. A question for you both, is are you happy, or are you just scared to move on and find a spouse that loves you enough to be faithful or want YOU more than someone else?
> 
> For others, he’s not “losing her”. If she wants another man, she’s gone in her mind already and needs to be allowed to leave and be happy, so he can move on and get happy too.
> 
> Losing a cheating wife is like “Losing” a tapeworm. The loss is beneficial in that one is no longer infested with a parasite.


I didn't say "no matter what". You are 100% sure she will cheat again. Fine. I tend to give people a second chance. Also, I'm not in a relationship and I'm not looking for another one.


----------



## In Absentia

Evinrude58 said:


> She hasn’t changed, though. *She was sending him erotic emails DURING the marriage.*
> And yes, why would anyone stay miserable with a frigid wife? It’s illogical. If they unfroze, sure, but who has the defrosted one? Do they exist?


She did that together with her husband. And my wife wasn't frigid - if that's what you are implying  - she had mental issues.


----------



## Evinrude58

In Absentia said:


> They did that together. And my wife wasn't frigid - if that's what you are implying  - she had mental issues.


Sorry, I was thinking yours was frigid, you’re right. Wouldn’t touch you. I think that’s super hurtful and hate to see anyone have to deal with it. I hate to see anyone’s best qualities keep them unhappy. Hoping you’re happier either way.


----------



## Blondilocks

It sounds like what you are looking for in this thread are ways to deal with that weekend while it is happening. You can wring your hands, bite your nails, clean the house and a host of other time filling activities. No one can give you peace of mind about it.


----------



## BigDaddyNY

jd8158 said:


> OP here....thank you all for the honest responses.
> 
> I'll try to clarify a few things here....
> Fist of all, I appreciate al the responses, and I know I deserve the more harsh ones.
> Anyhow, I'm not going to tell my wife she CANT go to one of her best friends weddings. I know its important to her.
> She is looking forward to being a bridesmaid on the beach.
> And its just silly to say I should divorce her if she goes - throw away 10 wonderful years because of what MIGHT happen with Paul?
> I realize the roleplaying and her erotic emails to him were probably a mistake, but that was something we did as a couple. I did not think they would ever see each other again since he moved - let alone having a couple nights in Florida together. But I see it like this....his pathetic emails to her just proved that I "won". She is with me. Paul lost.
> My wife would never leave her home, her family, and her husband just for a guy with a big ****.
> She felt so guilty about cheating when we were engaged, to the point where it was eating her up inside. So she confessed. And should I really care how close to our wedding that it happened- or whether it was in my own bed or not?
> Someone responded to my post about if one of children was 91/2 years old....lol....and no they are not. Paul did touch on that subject in one of his emails saying how he hoped he DID get her pregnant. But that was more just a fantasy he admitted to her.
> Bottom line is, if something does happen in Florida. we will work it out. That is what married couples do.
> I just know I will be thinking about it all weekend...wondering....so its going to be a brutal couple days on my end.


Only way I would allow my wife to go under these circumstances is if I was with her. That or she is on video chat 24/7 with you while gone. No way would I trust her given these circumstances.


----------



## In Absentia

Evinrude58 said:


> Sorry, I was thinking yours was frigid, you’re right. Wouldn’t touch you. I think that’s super hurtful and hate to see anyone have to deal with it. I hate to see anyone’s best qualities keep them unhappy. Hoping you’re happier either way.


She was never frigid, she had no libido because of her mental issues and anti-depressants. So, sex wasn't very "regular", to put it mildly...


----------



## Evinrude58

I don’t understand a job that that u can’t get away from for a couple of days over something this important.


----------



## Blondilocks

Evinrude58 said:


> I don’t understand a job that that u can’t get away from for a couple of days over something this important.


He also has to take care of the kids.


----------



## ccpowerslave

Just go, unless you can’t because you’ll get thrown in prison (or are in prison).

Get someone to look after kid(s) and go with her.


----------



## Rus47

ccpowerslave said:


> Just go, unless you can’t because you’ll get thrown in prison (or are in prison).
> 
> Get someone to look after kid(s) and go with her.


Wud be interesting her response if OP announced he got time off and will be going with her. True or not.

Might even take the kids out of school n make it a family vacation to FL. See how that wud be received.


Sorry, I am devious SOB 😐


----------



## ABHale

Your wife already knows you won’t leave her. So what does she have to lose by getting with her ex again at the beach?


----------



## ccpowerslave

Rus47 said:


> Wud be interesting her response if OP announced he got time off and will be going with her. True or not.
> 
> Might even take the kids out of school n make it a family vacation to FL. See how that wud be received.
> 
> 
> Sorry, I am devious SOB 😐


Nobody wants to bring their kids to party at a wedding (well I wouldn’t). Drop them off at your parent’s house and tell them it’s an emergency 🆘


----------



## ABHale

Blondilocks said:


> It sounds like what you are looking for in this thread are ways to deal with that weekend while it is happening. You can wring your hands, bite your nails, clean the house and a host of other time filling activities. No one can give you peace of mind about it.


Truer words have never been spoken.


----------



## manwithnoname

In Absentia said:


> Well, he doesn't...


If he thinks about everything that has happened, and is honest with himself, he does.


----------



## manwithnoname

In Absentia said:


> Well, if he stops her from going, he will lose her and he might lose her if she goes. What's better?


Losing her on his terms.


----------



## Marc878

jd8158 said:


> OP here....thank you all for the honest responses.
> 
> I'll try to clarify a few things here....
> Fist of all, I appreciate al the responses, and I know I deserve the more harsh ones.
> Anyhow, I'm not going to tell my wife she CANT go to one of her best friends weddings. I know its important to her.
> *I guess this wedding is more important that your marriage? Good for your wife. You, not so much.*
> 
> She is looking forward to being a bridesmaid on the beach.
> And its just silly to say I should divorce her if she goes - throw away 10 wonderful years because of what MIGHT happen with Paul?
> I realize the roleplaying and her erotic emails to him were probably a mistake, but that was something we did as a couple. I did not think they would ever see each other again since he moved - let alone having a couple nights in Florida together. But I see it like this....his pathetic emails to her just proved that I "won". She is with me. Paul lost.
> My wife would never leave her home, her family, and her husband just for a guy with a big ****.
> 
> *Famous last words. I bet you never thought she’d screw him right before your weddings either. So I guess screwing him after your married won’t be a really big deal.*
> 
> She felt so guilty about cheating when we were engaged, to the point where it was eating her up inside. So she confessed. And should I really care how close to our wedding that it happened- or whether it was in my own bed or not?
> Someone responded to my post about if one of children was 91/2 years old....lol....and no they are not. Paul did touch on that subject in one of his emails saying how he hoped he DID get her pregnant. But that was more just a fantasy he admitted to her.
> Bottom line is, if something does happen in Florida. we will work it out. That is what married couples do.
> 
> *Married couples don’t normally screw other people. *
> 
> I just know I will be thinking about it all weekend...wondering....so its going to be a brutal couple days on my end.


I can now understand her attraction to her other guy. He takes what he wants. While you set back and take it.


----------



## Sfort

Robert22205 said:


> *Every spouse has a right to not worry/fear infidelity.*


That's a profundity right there. Memorize it, remember it, practice it, teach it.


----------



## Sfort

OP, how can we help? We may seem harsh, but the good news is that we will still be here for you when she gets back. No one asked, but we assumed you were not okay with your wife having sex with her old boyfriend. It's obviously not a big deal to you, so read the recommendations here accordingly.


----------



## uphillbattle

jd8158 said:


> *Bottom line is, if something does happen in Florida. we will work it out. That is what married couples do.*


Most married couples don't send the one spouse off knowing they will be filled all weekend. Hell most married couples don't last past the first admission of kissing her with another man's cum on her breath.

My question to you is, why are you so worried about it if you know you are just going to work it out?


----------



## jjj858

Paul is going to be clutching those a**cheeks and laughing at OP.


----------



## uphillbattle

jd8158 said:


> OP here....thank you all for the honest responses.
> But I see it like this....his pathetic emails to her just proved that I "won". She is with me. Paul lost.


How much do you think he will believe you won while he is pounding her? Man to each their own, maybe you are some sort of super being that can live like that but it looks like you are just being a weak pushover.


----------



## jjj858

yeah not sure how the OP won. The wife gets free childcare and a beta provider to take care of everything while Paul can bang her and go as he pleases. OP bought the cow, Paul gets the milk for free.


----------



## Lostinthought61

WHY come here if in the end she screws him why away from you and you just work it through....you truly are a closet **** who on some level wants her to screw him.....I think you need to give up your man card.


----------



## DudeInProgress

jd8158 said:


> OP here....thank you all for the honest responses.
> 
> I'll try to clarify a few things here....
> Fist of all, I appreciate al the responses, and I know I deserve the more harsh ones.
> Anyhow, I'm not going to tell my wife she CANT go to one of her best friends weddings. I know its important to her.
> She is looking forward to being a bridesmaid on the beach.
> And its just silly to say I should divorce her if she goes - throw away 10 wonderful years because of what MIGHT happen with Paul?
> I realize the roleplaying and her erotic emails to him were probably a mistake, but that was something we did as a couple. I did not think they would ever see each other again since he moved - let alone having a couple nights in Florida together. But I see it like this....his pathetic emails to her just proved that I "won". She is with me. Paul lost.
> My wife would never leave her home, her family, and her husband just for a guy with a big ****.
> She felt so guilty about cheating when we were engaged, to the point where it was eating her up inside. So she confessed. And should I really care how close to our wedding that it happened- or whether it was in my own bed or not?
> Someone responded to my post about if one of children was 91/2 years old....lol....and no they are not. Paul did touch on that subject in one of his emails saying how he hoped he DID get her pregnant. But that was more just a fantasy he admitted to her.
> Bottom line is, if something does happen in Florida. we will work it out. That is what married couples do.
> I just know I will be thinking about it all weekend...wondering....so its going to be a brutal couple days on my end.


If you consider being a weak, doormat of a man, who can’t stand up to his wife to enforce basic boundaries, and who is likely about to become even more of a cuckold to be “winning”, congratulations I guess.

It’s only going to be a brutal couple days because you know that the situation is not acceptable, you know there’s an extremely high chance that your wife is going to give her self to Paul, and you know she doesn’t really respect you as a man.

And worst of all, you could have done something about it but you failed to do so.
You could have found some backbone and acted with strength and leadership as pretty much every single person here told you.

You didn’t win here dude, where you’re at is the polar opposite of winning. And you have the ability to change this. You have the ability to stand up, act with strength and take control of your situation . Unfortunately, for some reason you’re unwilling to do it.


----------



## DudeInProgress

Lostinthought61 said:


> WHY come here if in the end she screws him why away from you and you just work it through....you truly are a closet **** who on some level wants her to screw him.....I think you need to give up your man card.


It’s already long gone dude. Just sad


----------



## HappilyMarried1

jjj858 said:


> Paul is going to be clutching those a**cheeks and laughing at OP.


Also, the OP in a post he said when he and his wife was sending those erotic emails to Paul he did not know that the OP knew she was sending them and I assume he believes she meant everything she was saying. So I think he is licking his chops for the wedding and what he will be doing with her. Plus, I would not be surprised that she has continued to email Paul without her husband knowing.


----------



## Rus47

In fact we don't know that the trip involves a wedding at all. That could just be a cover story. Doesn't matter, cuz Cooper is fine with whatever Billie n Brad do.


----------



## DudeInProgress

Rus47 said:


> In fact we don't know that the trip involves a wedding at all. That could just be a cover story. Doesn't matter, cuz Cooper is fine with whatever Billie n Brad do.


Starting to think that OP has been a cuckold all along, just trying to find ways to rationalize it to himself.


----------



## uphillbattle

DudeInProgress said:


> Starting to think that OP has been a cuckold all along, just trying to find ways to rationalize it to himself.


I'm not so certain that he cares if he has been.


----------



## DudeInProgress

[QUOTE="uphillbattle said:


> I'm not so certain that he cares if he has been.


Maybe not. Then why even post here?


----------



## Robert22205

IMO you're playing with fire. 

Her disappointment in not going pales in comparison to her giving you sloppy seconds on your wedding night. The guy laughed at you. Plus she stole your agency to decide to marry her. 

Tempting your wife with a guy you know she's vulnerable to (humping him just before your wedding), including drinking, surrounded by friends from her youth ... all after 10 years of the daily grind with you. 

Experience shows EXs are high risk. Your wife's past experience with the guy just before her wedding magnifies the risk further.

Your notion that if she has sex with him then it will be once and done (confined to just the wedding) is naive. 

Plus your encouragement of the erotic emails to the Ex and now the wedding - suggests that you have a cockold fetish/fantasy. And it's likely the OM knows it.


----------



## jsmart

HappilyMarried1 said:


> Also, the OP in a post he said when he and his wife was sending those erotic emails to Paul he did not know that the OP knew she was sending them and I assume he believes she meant everything she was saying. So I think he is licking his chops for the wedding and what he will be doing with her. Plus, I would not be surprised that she has continued to email Paul without her husband knowing.


I too wonder if the emails ever stopped. Could she have continued through other avenues. Also, is he even sure that all these years, they haven’t hooked up. A guy will gladly pay for plane tickets for a sure thing with a woman that’s been sending erotic messages. I wonder if she was also sending him nudes or masturbation videos. If you think about it, pics and videos kind of go with the erotic messages. Also, did she ever travel back to this town alone? Easy to arrange a hook up .


----------



## seadoug105

DudeInProgress said:


> Maybe not. Then why even post here?


Sadly… I think it’s attention! 

or maybe just creative writing experience.


----------



## *Deidre*

You're not really controlling someone else in this scenario, you're controlling your own next steps


DudeInProgress said:


> I disagree. No way he should have to take off from work to babysit his wife and her ex-boyfriend/affair partner.
> She just does not get to go to the wedding at all, period (at least not if she wants to remain his wife).


He should be joining his wife anyway, but if he can't go, then she shouldn't go. I guess you're right.


----------



## Davit Bek

jd8158 said:


> OP here....thank you all for the honest responses.
> 
> I'll try to clarify a few things here....
> Fist of all, I appreciate al the responses, and I know I deserve the more harsh ones.
> Anyhow, I'm not going to tell my wife she CANT go to one of her best friends weddings. I know its important to her.
> She is looking forward to being a bridesmaid on the beach.
> And its just silly to say I should divorce her if she goes - throw away 10 wonderful years because of what MIGHT happen with Paul?
> I realize the roleplaying and her erotic emails to him were probably a mistake, but that was something we did as a couple. I did not think they would ever see each other again since he moved - let alone having a couple nights in Florida together. But I see it like this....his pathetic emails to her just proved that I "won". She is with me. Paul lost.
> My wife would never leave her home, her family, and her husband just for a guy with a big ****.
> She felt so guilty about cheating when we were engaged, to the point where it was eating her up inside. So she confessed. And should I really care how close to our wedding that it happened- or whether it was in my own bed or not?
> Someone responded to my post about if one of children was 91/2 years old....lol....and no they are not. Paul did touch on that subject in one of his emails saying how he hoped he DID get her pregnant. But that was more just a fantasy he admitted to her.
> Bottom line is, if something does happen in Florida. we will work it out. That is what married couples do.
> I just know I will be thinking about it all weekend...wondering....so its going to be a brutal couple days on my end.


Yeah unfortunately I, like many others, can't see how you won. She clearly has an interest in Paul. The interest isn't enough for her to leave her family, but she has been allowed to have both and EA and PA and she has done both. Winning is having a wife that absolutely admires you, and loves her family to death. It's to have a life filled with joy, love, security, and peace with some exciting experiences. I don't think she even respects, because you haven't demanded it. I'm kind of shocked at how you are so comfortable with "working it out". Working it out is for financial problems, not infidelity. You have an extremely high threshold for accepting betrayal. I wish you have more pride, and self-respect.

It's extremely unlikely that nothing will happen this weekend. Wish you the best of luck nonetheless and I hope you keep us posted. Routing for you, and your family. Here's to hoping nothing happens.


----------



## jd8158

jd8158 said:


> I'll try to make a long story short -
> My wife and I have been married 10 years...very happy...2 wonderful children. She broke down a couple years after we were married and admitted she saw her old boyfriend "a couple times" when we were engaged.
> Needless to say, I was shocked.
> But I believe her when she says she has been 100% faithful since then.
> Like a fool, I wanted some of the details of who and when it happened, and all she would say it was with her ex boyfriend Paul, and it was after we moved into a two-flat just before we got married.
> Knowing we moved into that place 3 weeks before our wedding, I can only imagine how close to our wedding day did she sleep with Paul? To this day, she refuses to answer that question.
> Anyhow- Paul moved to the east coast quite some time ago, so I was not worried about them ever hooking up again.
> Until now.
> My wife is going to a wedding in Florida in a couple of weeks with several of the people she used to hang out with. The bride to be is a very good friend of hers, and Paul is part of that circle of friends too.
> I cannot attend the wedding due to my job and the kids.
> So, she and Paul will be there...alone...together.
> Knowing she cheated on me once with him, I am of course worried it will happen again.
> This will sound bad - but my wife and I did some "roleplaying" I guess you would say about Paul, which led to some erotic emails between the two of them. The idea was she would never see him again, so who cares what they wrote to each other, right?
> But knowing what those emails were about, and knowing he still wants her, will make it a very long weekend.
> Part of me thinks that we are fine, and sex with Paul (if it comes to that) can never interfere with the life and family we have now.
> What should I tell my wife??
> I cannot forbid her to go, but I cannot be with her at the wedding either.
> And those emails that I was part of that Paul has no idea she was sharing with me, are going to come back to haunt me I am sure. I do not want to get into the specifics of the emails here, but willing to discuss privatley if anyone is interested.
> Anyhow, I'm a wreck already thinking about them together for a couple nights mid-month.
> Anything I can do to relax about it a bit more?
> Thank you


A few more clarifications....
First, I wrote my posting here since I really cannot talk to anyone else about this. I'm probably thinking and over thinking the whole situation too much, but I cant shake the sick feeling in my stomach that I have something to worry about.
Yes, my wife and I have talked about it, and she insists I have nothing to worry about. It was HER idea to stop the erotic emails she was sharing with me from him because she did not want to lead him on anymore. Quite a few responses people wrote back suggest that maybe I don't have anything to worry about at all. When she comes home that Sunday evening, I will have to take her word for what happened, if anything.
Someone asked why she did not marry Paul, or how serious they got. Well, they dated about 2 years I guess, but according to my wife, even though he made a decent salary, he gambled and had the IRS after him. There were times his cable went out because he did not pay the bill. He was a fun boyfriend, but never husband/father material. Which is probably why he is still single to this day.
I want to share another bit of information here too. 
When I was 20, I got involved with a married woman. My affair with her lasted almost 10 years and her husband never found out about us. I guess I learned from her, that an affair does NOT have to mean the end and doom for a marriage.
She had her family, husband, home...and me. And nobody got hurt. 
So, even though I was not happy to learn they got together just before our wedding, it did not really hurt "us". We have had 10 amazing years and have two wonderful kids. No matter what happens at the wedding, we WILL work through it. 
I'll do things with my kids over throughout next weekend to get my mind off of the situation. I'll try not to drink too much either...lol. But I'm sure I'll be on here at night looking to kill time.


----------



## HappilyMarried1

jd8158 said:


> It was HER idea to stop the erotic emails she was sharing with me from him because she did not want to lead him on anymore.


Ok that is good but what you did not make real clear is she stopped the erotic emails, but did she email him and say there was nothing more between them and that she only wanted to focus on her marriage. That would be good but if she just quit responding to his emails and never told him anything then you can bet he is going to go at her hard next weekend and she should tell you that she will stop anything before it ever happens and also that she will not drink in access. You don't here to call you or come back crying saying she had too much to drink and could not help it. Best of luck!

One last thing does she truly understand why you are worried about this? I really don't think she does or worse may not even care. The reason I say this is in a marriage it is not what she thinks about a situation but how it may affect the spouse. If she truly knows how this is bothering you I can not believe that she would not say "I can see why this is upsetting and bothering you" based on my prior behavior and past with him and because of that I am just not going to go. Then if I was her I would say maybe sometime we will go the both of us as a getaway and visit with her friend and new husband. But that is just how my wife and I would handle a situation like this.

"Quite a few responses people wrote back suggest that maybe I don't have anything to worry about at all." I don't know where you got that from that is not what 95% of the people on here told you the exact opposite. That's why I feel as I stated above if your wife respected you and your marriage at all she would not even go, however I'm starting to think that maybe she might have mentioned not going and you probably said* "sure you need to go baby it will be good for you to go and get away and see everyone"*


----------



## DudeInProgress

So are you purposefully deluding yourself or do you actually not realize that you’re delusional here? 
It’s like we’ve been reading two completely different threads.

Almost no one told you there’s nothing to worry about, and almost everyone told you what a terrible bad no good idea this is and that you need to take control of the situation and not allow this solo wedding trip.

It’s like you’re suffering from extreme selective reading here so I don’t know what else to tell you.

Passiveness is weak and unattractive and it will get you run over. Clearly you have no power in your marriage and are just going to rely on her to behave appropriately. That’s a bad idea that rarely ends well, but I guess if you’re not capable of anything else, that’s the only strategy you’ve got. 
Good luck.


----------



## Trident

jd8158 said:


> No matter what happens at the wedding, we WILL work through it.


This is the first time I've ever read about a spouse forgiving their partner for cheating before it happens again.


----------



## frenchpaddy

Trident said:


> This is the first time I've ever read about a spouse forgiving their partner for cheating before it happens again.


 because a side of him wants her to be the dirty girl in the emails 
he got a high from it and now needs to get a bit of that experience back 
it turned him on , and the other guy is a bad boy type .


----------



## DudeInProgress

Trident said:


> This is the first time I've ever read about a spouse forgiving their partner for cheating before it happens again.


And on top of that, a situation that he could have stopped but chose to do nothing


----------



## 76gmail

Is she back yet? How did it go with Paul?


----------



## Evinrude58

So you cheated with a married woman for ten years and don’t think it hurt her marriage...
Ok, good luck with your own wife. The Karma train...... that sucker is stoking coAl right now..


----------



## Rus47

Evinrude58 said:


> So you cheated with a married woman for ten years and don’t think it hurt her marriage...
> Ok, good luck with your own wife. The Karma train...... that sucker is stoking coAl right now..


He was the OM for a decade, successfully avoiding being caught, and learned his wife cheating on him is no problem. I think the karma train went to someone else's house. 

There are several regulars on TAM who at various times in their lives were the OM or OW, (sometimes more than once) and also experienced being betrayed. Different strokes.


----------



## manwithnoname

jd8158 said:


> A few more clarifications....
> First, I wrote my posting here since I really cannot talk to anyone else about this. I'm probably thinking and over thinking the whole situation too much, but I cant shake the sick feeling in my stomach that I have something to worry about.
> Yes, my wife and I have talked about it, and she insists I have nothing to worry about. It was HER idea to stop the erotic emails she was sharing with me from him because she did not want to lead him on anymore. Quite a few responses people wrote back suggest that maybe I don't have anything to worry about at all. When she comes home that Sunday evening, I will have to take her word for what happened, if anything.
> Someone asked why she did not marry Paul, or how serious they got. Well, they dated about 2 years I guess, but according to my wife, even though he made a decent salary, he gambled and had the IRS after him. There were times his cable went out because he did not pay the bill. *He was a fun boyfriend*, but never husband/father material. Which is probably why he is still single to this day.
> I want to share another bit of information here too.
> When I was 20, I got involved with a married woman. My affair with her lasted almost 10 years and *her husband never found out about us. I guess I learned from her, that an affair does NOT have to mean the end and doom for a marriage*.
> She had her family, husband, home...and me. *And nobody got hurt. *


What if the other man knew about it? It likely would have been marriage over. Nobody got hurt because no one knew about it. Very unlikely he would have wanted to work things out.

Paul was a fun boyfriend who your wife didn't marry because he's irresponsible with money and had a gambling problem. Well guess what? Your wife only needs fun Paul that weekend, not fiscally responsible non gambling Paul. 

Paul is gonna rail your wife real good....


----------



## Sfort

jd8158 said:


> When I was 20, I got involved with a married woman. My affair with her lasted almost 10 years and her husband never found out about us. I guess I learned from her, that an affair does NOT have to mean the end and doom for a marriage.


I knew there was more to the story.


----------



## BigDaddyNY

jd8158 said:


> A few more clarifications....
> First, I wrote my posting here since I really cannot talk to anyone else about this. I'm probably thinking and over thinking the whole situation too much, but I cant shake the sick feeling in my stomach that I have something to worry about.
> Yes, my wife and I have talked about it, and she insists I have nothing to worry about. It was HER idea to stop the erotic emails she was sharing with me from him because she did not want to lead him on anymore. Quite a few responses people wrote back suggest that maybe I don't have anything to worry about at all. When she comes home that Sunday evening, I will have to take her word for what happened, if anything.
> Someone asked why she did not marry Paul, or how serious they got. Well, they dated about 2 years I guess, but according to my wife, even though he made a decent salary, he gambled and had the IRS after him. There were times his cable went out because he did not pay the bill. He was a fun boyfriend, but never husband/father material. Which is probably why he is still single to this day.
> I want to share another bit of information here too.
> When I was 20, I got involved with a married woman. My affair with her lasted almost 10 years and her husband never found out about us. I guess I learned from her, that an affair does NOT have to mean the end and doom for a marriage.
> She had her family, husband, home...and me. And nobody got hurt.
> So, even though I was not happy to learn they got together just before our wedding, it did not really hurt "us". We have had 10 amazing years and have two wonderful kids. No matter what happens at the wedding, we WILL work through it.
> I'll do things with my kids over throughout next weekend to get my mind off of the situation. I'll try not to drink too much either...lol. But I'm sure I'll be on here at night looking to kill time.


No one got hurt eh? You don't think sleeping with you caused her to give less affection to her husband. He probably spent 10 years wondering why his wife wasn't as sexual when they met. How much of her time did you STEAL from her family. Cheating is never victimless, even if it goes undiscovered. 

If and when your wife cheats with Paul you'll have gotten exactly what you deserve. Karma is a *****. Although, in this case it sound like you may be getting a bit of a thrill at the thought of your wife with him. Your whole thought process twisted.


----------



## In Absentia

BigDaddyNY said:


> No one got hurt eh? You don't think sleeping with you caused her to give less affection to her husband. He probably spent 10 years wondering why his wife wasn't as sexual when they met.


How do you know that, though? Maybe, possibly, probably... maybe the OP has first hand info, unlike you. Maybe...


----------



## frenchpaddy

In Absentia said:


> How do you know that, though? Maybe, possibly, probably... maybe the OP has first hand info, unlike you. Maybe...


 true there are people out there that know their wife has a toy boy and they love when the wife comes home full of anothers mans spunk 
some like the wife to give a step by step account of what they did , 
it takes all types there are many types of relationships 
we can not say what is right for other people if they are happy good for them , 
if one is not they have to find what they need to do to put it right


----------



## BigDaddyNY

In Absentia said:


> How do you know that, though? Maybe, possibly, probably... maybe the OP has first hand info, unlike you. Maybe...


It is a pretty safe assumption. It seems universal that every betrayed spouse, in hindsight, realizes intimacy dropped off during the affair period. Like most, they don't immediately recognize it while it is happening. You think the OP has an accurate picture of what went on between the WW and the BH when he wasn't banging her? I doubt it. 

I know what you are getting at, but I am not making a wild assumption. A person isn't going to be able to give two people as much affection and attention as one. I suppose the BH could have been an asexual imp that didn't notice his wife was getting her self serviced by some young single guy.


----------



## In Absentia

BigDaddyNY said:


> It is a pretty safe assumption. It seems universal that every betrayed spouse, in hindsight, realizes intimacy dropped off during the affair period. Like most, they don't immediately recognize it while it is happening. You think the OP has an accurate picture of what went on between the WW and the BH when he wasn't banging her? I doubt it.
> 
> I know what you are getting at, but I am not making a wild assumption. A person isn't going to be able to give two people as much affection and attention as one. I suppose the BH could have been an asexual imp that didn't notice his wife was getting her self serviced by some young single guy.


I agree, mostly, but sometimes assumptions are served as "facts" here, and I find that rather amusing. Because we don't really know. This is one of TAM's aspects I dislike most.


----------



## jd8158

76gmail said:


> Is she back yet? How did it go with Paul?


It's this weekend coming up. She will be gone Friday afternoon to late Sunday.


----------



## ABHale

Still don’t understand the problem. If she doesn’t shag her ex or if she does it still the same outcome. You’re staying with her. 

So why even worry about it. Give her a kiss when she leaves and tell her to have fun.


----------



## DownByTheRiver

Dude, you need to accompany your wife to that wedding. Even if you miss the ceremony or weren't invited, at least be as close as possible. Nothing will happen at the wedding itself, but it's the reception and any pre and post dinners you need to be nearby. 

Look, I know plenty of guys who banged someone while they were engaged to be sure getting married was really what they wanted to do, but I rarely hear of women doing it. I mean, it's not right, but it certainly happens. How you handle that is just between you two, of course. 

But no way I'd be happy her going alone to that wedding where he'll be, because you are always going to wonder if she's not telling you something. Besides that, and mainly this: You need to escort her to that to make your presence and devotion known so no one can spread rumors you two are living separate lives anyway or whatnot.


----------



## Blondilocks

We could give you some pointers for espionage; however, it seems you will be content with whatever happens as long as she doesn't leave you for big D. Why don't you ask her to video all of her happenings so you can enjoy the fun when she returns.


----------



## Divinely Favored

She cheated on you with Paulie boy. Is Paulie boy going to be there? Paulie boy needs to give condolences on not being there due to unforseen circumstances beyond his control.😏

Or wife is sendong her condolences stating because she shagged Paulie just before her wedding and it would be improper for her to be at the wedding if Paulie is invited. She would be telling her GF bride that on speaker phone in front of me.

If they say Paulie boy is not going to be there, she is getting a poly when she returns to verify such. She fails due to speaking to him by phone...or him showing up and having ANY contact, i would slap her with the divorce papers and burn it down.


----------



## re16

It would insane for you to not go to the wedding.

Just to get a read on it, you should mention to your wife that you are thinking of getting a last minute ticket and have an option for the kids to stay with someone. See what her reaction is.


----------



## seadoug105

re16 said:


> It would insane for you to not go to the wedding.
> 
> Just to get a read on it, you should mention to your wife that you are thinking of getting a last minute ticket and have an option for the kids to stay with someone. See what her reaction is.


what and ruin his fantasy….


----------



## jjj858

Divinely Favored said:


> She cheated on you with Paulie boy. Is Paulie boy going to be there? Paulie boy needs to give condolences on not being there due to unforseen circumstances beyond his control.😏
> 
> Or wife is sendong her condolences stating because she shagged Paulie just before her wedding and it would be improper for her to be at the wedding if Paulie is invited. She would be telling her GF bride that on speaker phone in front of me.
> 
> If they say Paulie boy is not going to be there, she is getting a poly when she returns to verify such. She fails due to speaking to him by phone...or him showing up and having ANY contact, i would slap her with the divorce papers and burn it down.


I would have called her friend myself and said “sorry my wife can’t come to your wedding since she slept with Paul days before our wedding and he’s going to be there at yours. She can consider herself lucky I didn’t divorce her the first time I found out and there won’t be a second time.”


----------



## Captain Obvious

jd8158 said:


> It's this weekend coming up. She will be gone Friday afternoon to late Sunday.


Have you at least talked to your wife about expectations, and more importantly, boundaries and consequences for that weekend????


----------



## Evinrude58

Captain Obvious said:


> Have you at least talked to your wife about expectations, and more importantly, boundaries and consequences for that weekend????











So you feel like that will do it, huh?
I’m not so sure. But he cheated for 10 years with another man’s wife and got off to her sexting another man, so it’s clear he’s hoping her “boundaries” are not so strong. He probably just wants videos...

I don’t think he’s sweating this all that much.


----------



## Captain Obvious

Evinrude58 said:


> View attachment 78480
> 
> So you feel like that will do it, huh?
> I’m not so sure. But he cheated for 10 years with another man’s wife and got off to her sexting another man, so it’s clear he’s hoping her “boundaries” are not so strong. He probably just wants videos...
> 
> I don’t think he’s sweating this all that much.


No i don't feel like that will do, and I never said it would. We've already seen he's not going to take decisive action, but after everything that's happened, and everything he's been told on this thread, I'm just curious to see if he's even talked to his wife and expressed any concerns over this debacle. I'm not sure if this is even real.


----------



## jjj858

We know who wears the pants in this relationship… Paul.


----------



## manwithnoname

jjj858 said:


> We know who wears the pants in this relationship… Paul.


Until he takes them off.


----------



## DudeInProgress

jjj858 said:


> I would have called her friend myself and said “sorry my wife can’t come to your wedding since she slept with Paul days before our wedding and he’s going to be there at yours. She can consider herself lucky I didn’t divorce her the first time I found out and there won’t be a second time.”


How’s that exactly?
You already told us that you’re not going to tell her no wedding. You’re not going to enforce any boundaries at all. You’re not going to do anything about the situation, because if you were, you already would have. You’re not going to do ****.
And you’re going to “work through” whatever ends up happening, according to your previous post.

Your previous posts were sad and frustrating. This one is laughable. Suddenly you want to project toughness, while doing nothing.
You want to feel strong? Be strong and DO something about this situation before it happens.

*edit*
Nevermind. @jjj858 I confused your handle with OP, guess I should read more carefully. I thought it strange he suddenly came up with a bunch of bluster amidst his inaction.

OP, just buck up and ****ing DO something about this. Or accept being a cuckold, because you’ve been given every opportunity to find your testicles and stop it.


----------



## jd8158

jd8158 said:


> I'll try to make a long story short -
> My wife and I have been married 10 years...very happy...2 wonderful children. She broke down a couple years after we were married and admitted she saw her old boyfriend "a couple times" when we were engaged.
> Needless to say, I was shocked.
> But I believe her when she says she has been 100% faithful since then.
> Like a fool, I wanted some of the details of who and when it happened, and all she would say it was with her ex boyfriend Paul, and it was after we moved into a two-flat just before we got married.
> Knowing we moved into that place 3 weeks before our wedding, I can only imagine how close to our wedding day did she sleep with Paul? To this day, she refuses to answer that question.
> Anyhow- Paul moved to the east coast quite some time ago, so I was not worried about them ever hooking up again.
> Until now.
> My wife is going to a wedding in Florida in a couple of weeks with several of the people she used to hang out with. The bride to be is a very good friend of hers, and Paul is part of that circle of friends too.
> I cannot attend the wedding due to my job and the kids.
> So, she and Paul will be there...alone...together.
> Knowing she cheated on me once with him, I am of course worried it will happen again.
> This will sound bad - but my wife and I did some "roleplaying" I guess you would say about Paul, which led to some erotic emails between the two of them. The idea was she would never see him again, so who cares what they wrote to each other, right?
> But knowing what those emails were about, and knowing he still wants her, will make it a very long weekend.
> Part of me thinks that we are fine, and sex with Paul (if it comes to that) can never interfere with the life and family we have now.
> What should I tell my wife??
> I cannot forbid her to go, but I cannot be with her at the wedding either.
> And those emails that I was part of that Paul has no idea she was sharing with me, are going to come back to haunt me I am sure. I do not want to get into the specifics of the emails here, but willing to discuss privatley if anyone is interested.
> Anyhow, I'm a wreck already thinking about them together for a couple nights mid-month.
> Anything I can do to relax about it a bit more?
> Thank you


My last response until the weekend at least.
Of course my wife and I have talked about it, and she insists I have nothing to worry about. We agreed to talk at midnight both nights she is gone. It is what might happen before and after midnight that will be on my mind too much.
And honestly, it's probably worrying me SO much more than it should be. But I think its interesting that just about everyone here thinks without a doubt that she WILL have sex with Paul. Like our home, family, and marriage does not even enter into the equation. Yes, it happened when we were engaged, but I would hope the last 10 years will count for something. 
I do wish we never "roleplayed" about him and started those emails. They were just something fun my wife and I were doing, but Paul may have seen it differently. 
My wife already knows we are having sex just before she leaves and as soon as she comes home...lol. I will be busy with work and the the kids during the days which will make time more along a little quicker. But after they are in bed Friday and Saturday night will be the toughest. Thank god for ESPN and college football.


----------



## BigDaddyNY

jd8158 said:


> My last response until the weekend at least.
> Of course my wife and I have talked about it, and she insists I have nothing to worry about. We agreed to talk at midnight both nights she is gone. It is what might happen before and after midnight that will be on my mind too much.
> And honestly, it's probably worrying me SO much more than it should be. But I think its interesting that just about everyone here thinks without a doubt that she WILL have sex with Paul. Like our home, family, and marriage does not even enter into the equation. Yes, it happened when we were engaged, but I would hope the last 10 years will count for something.
> I do wish we never "roleplayed" about him and started those emails. They were just something fun my wife and I were doing, but Paul may have seen it differently.
> My wife already knows we are having sex just before she leaves and as soon as she comes home...lol. I will be busy with work and the the kids during the days which will make time more along a little quicker. But after they are in bed Friday and Saturday night will be the toughest. Thank god for ESPN and college football.


Alone time with a past sexual partner is always a bad idea. You are right, that 10 years of marriage should and does count for something, but you obviously see that it is a risky situation. Especially since you played games with Paul. I can't see how he saw it differently. Was he in on the little "game" or did he think she was really think into him? How did that whole game end, just stopped emailing or cut it off? I don't know exactly how all that went down, but from your story that is one of my biggest concerns. Did the wife totally pull the wool over your eyes and that "game" was very real to her? Please tell me those emails didn't include nude photos.


----------



## Divinely Favored

Talked to my wife about this. She said, the close friend already knows the wife slept with Paul just before the wedding. If she is close enough to be a bridesmaid....bride already knows she was unfaithful to you and would make sure Paul is not invited if she really wants her friend to be there. She also agrees due to the circumstances, no way in hell should she go if her hubby cant. It would be part of the consequence of her infedility and protection of the marriage.


----------



## Blondilocks

Evinrude58 said:


> View attachment 78480
> 
> So you feel like that will do it, huh?
> I’m not so sure. But he cheated for 10 years with another man’s wife and got off to her sexting another man, so it’s clear he’s hoping her “boundaries” are not so strong. He probably just wants videos...
> 
> I don’t think he’s sweating this all that much.


T/J Every time I see this pup, I think "that poor baby is toothless". end T/J


----------



## Evinrude58

Obviously that’s the logical thing to do.


----------



## seadoug105

Evinrude58 said:


> Obviously that’s the logical thing to do.


logic doesn’t factor in when you are going ****-****-crazy… even if it’s only “temporary”


----------



## Captain Obvious

Letting your wife go solo on the same vacation where her lover, that she cheated on you with mere days or a day before your wedding, and had online cuckold sessions, is an awful idea. It's like chewing nuts and gum at the same time.


----------



## DudeInProgress

jd8158 said:


> My last response until the weekend at least.
> Of course my wife and I have talked about it, and she insists I have nothing to worry about. We agreed to talk at midnight both nights she is gone. It is what might happen before and after midnight that will be on my mind too much.
> And honestly, it's probably worrying me SO much more than it should be. But I think its interesting that just about everyone here thinks without a doubt that she WILL have sex with Paul. Like our home, family, and marriage does not even enter into the equation. Yes, it happened when we were engaged, but I would hope the last 10 years will count for something.
> I do wish we never "roleplayed" about him and started those emails. They were just something fun my wife and I were doing, but Paul may have seen it differently.
> My wife already knows we are having sex just before she leaves and as soon as she comes home...lol. I will be busy with work and the the kids during the days which will make time more along a little quicker. But after they are in bed Friday and Saturday night will be the toughest. Thank god for ESPN and college football.


Why are you so weak? Why are you tolerating this? It’s a choice, and a bad one.

It’s not that she will definitely cheat, its just highly plausible that she will cheat and the scenario is perfect to enable it.
Therefore a wise, competent man leads and protects his marriage by not allowing dangerous and inappropriate situations like this to happen.

And even if she doesn’t bang Paul this weekend, you still lose. 
You lose because it’s clear to her that you are weak, that she is in control and she can do whatever she wants. And you will accept it.

And that is extremely unattractive to women and makes it more likely that she will act badly in the future


----------



## BigDaddyNY

Divinely Favored said:


> Talked to my wife about this. She said, the close friend already knows the wife slept with Paul just before the wedding. If she is close enough to be a bridesmaid....bride already knows she was unfaithful to you and would make sure Paul is not invited if she really wants her friend to be there. She also agrees due to the circumstances, no way in hell should she go if her hubby cant. It would be part of the consequence of her infedility and protection of the marriage.


lol, funny, my wife said almost the exact same thing when I mentioned this to her. She said something like, "the bride has to know she slept with the guy, I'm surprised she would even invite him." 

No way should this wife go without her husband.


----------



## Evinrude58

I have a feeling OP has never said the n word to his wife. It’s foreign to her. Like Swahili or something. He needs to practice saying it.

Maybe let it roll if his tongue a few times....
Noooooooooooooooooooooo.

And when she says he’s controlling, just agree.
Then say, someone that has no self control and can’t keep their legs crossed weeks (likely the eve of) before their wedding, is going to get a little help from their partner who doesn’t appreciate being cheated on and then watching his wife ride off in the sunset for a romantic weekend with the same affair partner. 

Yeah, I would relish the title of being “controlling” in this instance.


----------



## jd8158

BigDaddyNY said:


> Alone time with a past sexual partner is always a bad idea. You are right, that 10 years of marriage should and does count for something, but you obviously see that it is a risky situation. Especially since you played games with Paul. I can't see how he saw it differently. Was he in on the little "game" or did he think she was really think into him? How did that whole game end, just stopped emailing or cut it off? I don't know exactly how all that went down, but from your story that is one of my biggest concerns. Did the wife totally pull the wool over your eyes and that "game" was very real to her? Please tell me those emails didn't include nude photos.


Paul had no idea she was sharing his emails with me. He would be SO embarrassed if he knew that because he got very "descriptive" in them. And my wife and I would work together on her responses, so it was nothing she was doing on her own. And definitely no nude pictures - although my wife thinks he still may have some from when they were dating.
It was a game we were playing on him, which I am regretting now. At the time, it was a fun thing we were doing as a couple because we never thought they would see each other again. 
And it ended when she felt she was leading him on too much, which I understood. 
Not sure how someone can refer to it as an online cuckold thing when HE was the won being played.


----------



## Blondilocks

I already told you to tell Paul that you and your wife were just using him for kicks and giggles. If he were any kind of man, he would be upset with your wife and that would leave a sour taste in in his mouth. I don't know if you're too ashamed to admit what you did or you're concerned about hurting his feelings (WTH?); but, at least you would be doing something to head this hook-up off at the pass. Don't worry about him thinking less of your wife - he already knows exactly who *she *is.


----------



## BigDaddyNY

jd8158 said:


> Paul had no idea she was sharing his emails with me. He would be SO embarrassed if he knew that because he got very "descriptive" in them. And my wife and I would work together on her responses, so it was nothing she was doing on her own. And definitely no nude pictures - although my wife thinks he still may have some from when they were dating.
> It was a game we were playing on him, which I am regretting now. At the time, it was a fun thing we were doing as a couple because we never thought they would see each other again.
> And it ended when she felt she was leading him on too much, which I understood.
> Not sure how someone can refer to it as an online cuckold thing when HE was the won being played.


What you describe is not cuckolding, but it isn't any better. Paul was left with the impression that even while married your wife is open and available for a affair. You are complicit in that and unless you or she told him what was really going on with those emails he still has that impression to this day. Put yourself in Paul's shoes, knowing what he wrote in those emails. You know you would be having all kinds of fantasies and plans about what you are going to do when she gets to Florida. 

Honestly you and your wife are both horrible people. You were the POSOM for 10 years with a married man, your wife screwed a guy days before she married you and you both strung along that AP with sexual emails. You are both horrible excuses for humans. You may as well just let your wife go have her fun with Paul. I can only pray that your children don't turn out like you.


----------



## manwithnoname

BigDaddyNY said:


> What you describe is not cuckolding, but it isn't any better. Paul was left with the impression that even while married your wife is open and available for a affair. You are complicit in that and unless you or she told him what was really going on with those emails he still has that impression to this day. Put yourself in Paul's shoes, knowing what he wrote in those emails. You know you would be having all kinds of fantasies and plans about what you are going to do when she gets to Florida.
> 
> Honestly you and your wife are both horrible people. You were the POSOM for 10 years with a married man, your wife screwed a guy days before she married you and you both strung along that AP with sexual emails. You are both horrible excuses for humans. *You may as well just let your wife go have her fun with Paul.* I can only pray that your children don't turn out like you.


He is.


----------



## manwithnoname

jd8158 said:


> Paul had no idea she was sharing his emails with me. He would be SO embarrassed if he knew that because he got very "descriptive" in them. And my wife and I would work together on her responses, so it was nothing she was doing on her own. And definitely no nude pictures - although my wife thinks he still may have some from when they were dating.
> It was a game we were playing on him, which I am regretting now. At the time, it was a fun thing we were doing as a couple because we never thought they would see each other again.
> And it ended when she felt she was leading him on too much, which I understood.
> *Not sure how someone can refer to it as an online cuckold thing when HE was the won being played.*


Because you are the husband, and the emails described things they would do to each other. Another dude ****ing your wife. You were played, and will be played this weekend. Now that you and your wife got Paul all worked up, getting a rock hard erection when he thinks about his opportunity this weekend, you think nothing will happen between them if he gives it a go, and your wife had a few drinks in her? Not new territory for her, this cheating thing....

That's why many of us would put money on it. She will likely not admit to it, so asking her when she comes back will be worthless.


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## ABHale

jd8158 said:


> My last response until the weekend at least.
> Of course my wife and I have talked about it, and she insists I have nothing to worry about. We agreed to talk at midnight both nights she is gone. It is what might happen before and after midnight that will be on my mind too much.
> And honestly, it's probably worrying me SO much more than it should be. But I think its interesting that just about everyone here thinks without a doubt that she WILL have sex with Paul. Like our home, family, and marriage does not even enter into the equation. Yes, it happened when we were engaged, but I would hope the last 10 years will count for something.
> I do wish we never "roleplayed" about him and started those emails. They were just something fun my wife and I were doing, but Paul may have seen it differently.
> My wife already knows we are having sex just before she leaves and as soon as she comes home...lol. I will be busy with work and the the kids during the days which will make time more along a little quicker. But after they are in bed Friday and Saturday night will be the toughest. Thank god for ESPN and college football.


You do realize that your wife cheated on you during the honeymoon phase of your relationship. That period of time was supposed to be the happiest and most loving of your relationship. It was during the honeymoon phase, when the two of you reached a mile stone of moving in together, that she started ****ing her ex boyfriend with the big D. 

This period of time is when things get a little boring in a marriage and some might stray. Your wife has already proven she will cheat if given the opportunity. Her ex is going to do his best to give her the best nights of her life. To top it of, there isn’t a damn thing you can do to stop it. All you have done is say please don’t but if you do, we will work through it.

During her confession years ago, did she tell you about how the two of them made fun about how much smaller you were? About how she might never get a chance to experience the joy of being with him. Well, she has her chance now starting this weekend end. 

I am waiting for the excuses of why the midnight calls don’t happen. 

My phone was dead and my charger was at the hotel room. 

I lost tract of time and didn’t want to wake you up. 

I was to drunk and past out. Slept right through you trying to call. 

Or 

Phone call at midnight to 0030. Riding Mr Happy from 0031 to 0600. 

Or

Start foreplay from 2200-2355. Calm down some to take phone call at midnight. Get off phone as soon as possible. Get back to it. 

Hopism is strong in you. Defeatism is also, you already will forgive her and pick up the pieces if she cheats. 

What a mess up marriage you have.


----------



## ABHale

jd8158 said:


> My wife already knows we are having sex just before she leaves and as soon as she comes home...lol.


Reclaiming after she is with her ex it sounds like. You are expecting her to cheat. 

I wish I could have heard this conversation. I would have been rolling in the floor laughing my ass off. O crap, can you imagine how pathetic you looked telling your wife this?

I am done. There is no hope for someone who clearly gets off on his wife ****ing her ex. Why else would you use the one person to role play with. You pretending to be him, your wife thinking……

Enjoy reclaiming your wife. 

There was a post years ago about a husband that let his wife get with another guy. He was so upset afterwards he was in a heap on the floor crying with his wife telling him to get up here and reclaim me. That is the picture that popped in my head when you TOLD your wife we are having sex when you get back. You crying in the floor asking if she did him and her saying yes. Now do what you said you were going to. 

Enjoy the weekend.


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## RebuildingMe

So you were banging a married woman for 10 years. Then you and your wife were sending emails to her ex so you can “get off” on them, even though he was totally unaware. OP, seems like you are just a user in life, using people at others expense. You’re not going to get much sympathy before or after your wife bangs Paul this weekend. You made your bed, now lie in it.


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## Migi

jd8158 said:


> Paul had no idea she was sharing his emails with me. He would be SO embarrassed if he knew that because he got very "descriptive" in them. And my wife and I would work together on her responses, so it was nothing she was doing on her own. And definitely no nude pictures - although my wife thinks he still may have some from when they were dating.
> It was a game we were playing on him, which I am regretting now. At the time, it was a fun thing we were doing as a couple because we never thought they would see each other again.
> And it ended when she felt she was leading him on too much, which I understood.
> Not sure how someone can refer to it as an online cuckold thing when HE was the won being played.


No, man. You were the one being played. He f***** your wife, not vice versa.


----------



## Marc878




----------



## BigDaddyNY

Migi said:


> No, man. You were the one being played. He f***** your wife, not vice versa.


To be accurate, he ****ed her while she was his fiancé. It is this coming weekend Paul will be ****ing his wife.


----------



## Rus47

BigDaddyNY said:


> To be accurate, he ****ed her while he was his fiancé. It is this coming weekend Paul will be ****ing his wife.


And her husband didn't and doesn't care. Seems they are a three way where only two are present in the same room at any one time. Not sure why he started the thread.


----------



## farsidejunky

jd8158 said:


> Not sure how someone can refer to it as an online cuckold thing when HE was the won being played.


In order to see it that way, you have to assume two things:

1. Your wife has been totally honest in not only her actions, but her feelings.

2. Some part of you is okay with sharing her.

I think you are dead wrong about number 1. 

I would never be okay with number 2.

YMMV.



Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk


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## HappilyMarried1

jd8158 said:


> Paul had no idea she was sharing his emails with me.





jd8158 said:


> he got very "descriptive" in them.





jd8158 said:


> It was a game we were playing on him,





jd8158 said:


> he felt she was leading him on too much,


*Do you not get it! I think this is what most people on here are trying to tell you. Paul did not know you guys were messing with him! He believes everything she said to him in those emails. He probably thinks she quit because you may have been suspecting something.
Do you and even your wife (unless she is now messing with you, I hope not) not understand that he is going to come at your wife this weekend with both barrels thinking he has got a great chance to sleep with her. She may say nothing to worry about, but without you there I am sure there will be alcohol flowing, the beach, the ocean, the idea that this is wrong and exciting. She gets to drinking it's hard telling what may happen. I really do hope that you both are correct and nothing happens. However, with all that you have told us I've seen a lot of adultery happen with a lot less temptation. Best of luck! I really hope you are not on here over the weekend or on Monday morning that she called you crying or came home crying and saying she is so sorry it just happened she had too muck to drink.etc.etc.*

One piece of advise I would give if you are suspicious at all when she comes home don't let on lay low and be on the lookout for more communication between them. If something does happen more than likely since it started with emails he will still communicate with her and want to continue or talk about the fun they had this weekend.


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## jjj858

The only descriptive email I’d have been sending Paul is how I’m going to beat his ass the next time I see him.


----------



## jjj858

Also the idea that the wife didn’t enjoy sending those emails to Paul is laughable. I bet she was so wet she was about to slide out of the chair.


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## GusPolinski

jd8158 said:


> Paul had no idea she was sharing his emails with me. He would be SO embarrassed if he knew that because he got very "descriptive" in them. And my wife and I would work together on her responses, so it was nothing she was doing on her own. And definitely no nude pictures - although my wife thinks he still may have some from when they were dating.
> It was a game we were playing on him, which I am regretting now. At the time, it was a fun thing we were doing as a couple because we never thought they would see each other again.
> And it ended when she felt she was leading him on too much, which I understood.
> Not sure how someone can refer to it as an online cuckold thing when HE was the won being played.


Nah bro, be real — you played yourself.


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## seadoug105

GusPolinski said:


> Nah bro, be real — you played yourself.


you left out the word “with”


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## GusPolinski

seadoug105 said:


> you left out the word “with”


😳😬


----------



## SunCMars

ElwoodPDowd said:


> Quit your job and go to the wedding with her.
> It'll probably cost you less than the divorce.


OK, but is this woman worth it?


----------



## chazmataz33

Why not until midnite?she cant find 5 minute s out of her busy day?and her not giving you all the info from before what makes you think she'll give you all the truth now? you seem to think she will now.youre not being honest. Theres something else at play here.


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## HappilyMarried1

So @jd8158 has your wife left now for fun weekend in Florida while your at home taking care of the house and kids? Give us an update how things are going? Also have you heard from her or is she busy?


----------



## sideways

When you opened pandoras box and played around with sending those emails to this guy...now it's coming back to bite you in the @$$!!!

Either one of two things is happening.
1) you're going to be miserable the ENTIRE weekend
2) you're going to love every second of this weekend because in reality this gets you off

What's definitely happening is your wife and this cat hooking up.


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## jd8158

HappilyMarried1 said:


> So @jd8158 has your wife left now for fun weekend in Florida while your at home taking care of the house and kids? Give us an update how things are going? Also have you heard from her or is she busy?


I sent you a conversation message


----------



## Elizabeth001

jd8158 said:


> I sent you a conversation message


That sounds like something one of my catfish hits on POF would say.  

What exactly is this ”conversation message” you speak of? Hahahaha

Yaw have fun with that…I’m out for tonight 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Amanhasnoname

jd8158 said:


> I do wish we never "roleplayed" about him and started those emails. They were just something fun my wife and I were doing, *but Paul may have seen it differently.*


No!.....You reckon?


----------



## Amanhasnoname

jd8158 said:


> Not sure how someone can refer to it as an online cuckold thing when HE was the won being played.


Or was it I wonder a double bluff!


----------



## Robert22205

jd8158 How are you holding up? 
Did she check in as agreed?
Did she say or not say anything that you're concerned about?


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## jjj858

She’s waking up in the arms of her lover this morning.


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## Mr.Married

“Oh honey you have nothing to worry about as Paul was there with his girlfriend”

Never mentioning she was the girlfriend.


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## Lostinthought61

jjj858 said:


> She’s waking up in the arms of her lover this morning.


Please don’t poke the man with assumptions that may not be true........let him figure out the truth.


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## SunCMars

Lostinthought61 said:


> Please don’t poke the man with assumptions that may not be true........let him figure out the truth.


I agree.

Wait to see if any poking went on.

Wait for the truth-serum to work its magic.

Wait to see if any dribbled-out, as OP feared.


----------



## Evinrude58

What happens in Florida is going to stay in Florida..,,,, maybe.... OP hopes...
I’d wish you luck OP but since you’re a past AP, my tank is just empty.


----------



## seadoug105

SunCMars said:


> Wait to see if any poking went on.
> 
> Wait to see if any dribbles-out, as OP hopes.


There fixed it!


----------



## SunCMars

seadoug105 said:


> There fixed it!


Yikes!

I hope he does not want this....dribble truth.
No man should.

Um, God no...


----------



## SunCMars

Evinrude58 said:


> What happens in Florida is going to stay in Florida..,,,, maybe.... OP hopes...
> I’d wish you luck OP but since you’re a past AP, my tank is just empty.


Your tank is never empty.

Those _new_ D.I. Evinrude outboards run for miles and miles on 2 cycle fuel.

I know, I bought two before they were discontinued.

........................................................................

And, new cheaters always kick start you back to life.


----------



## jjj858

SunCMars said:


> Your tank is never empty.


Well you can bet Paul’s tank is empty after last night


----------



## SunCMars

While we are waiting for the weekend report, we can spiel-and-posit, passing time, maybe passing some old beer gas!

.........................................................


After all OP's fretting and lecturing, one would hope that his wife would restrain herself, those, her carnal urges.

If not, can anyone be so stubbornly predictable?


Remember-

They played this role-playing game, husband-OP and her, with duped outsider, Paul, thinking she truly was seeking his love making.

They jointly conspired and fooled that erstwhile Paul, with him thinking OP's wife wanted to bed him, to get hot and hard boned by him.


OK, whose to say she actually let him in on what was going on, with this back and forth erotic writing.

She may have called him, letting him know, telling him to 'play; along in this role acting.

With him and her someday performing for real?

Who's to say it was not a real desire by the wife to perform the role in the first person, not just in script?

Paul played his part admirably, in-pecker-ably, maybe more the common horny Bosun's Mate, not the Fleet footed Admiral.

It's Monday, is this the day OP's wife returns home from the wedding in Florida?

.........................................................................

All these days and these threads, Gee Willikers!

For me, they seem to roll into one crazy ball, taking in so many nosy people as they roll down hill to some end.

Here, on TAM, usually tragic endings.

So many naughty wives...
There seems to be no shortage of them.

Maybe this one will be different, hmm?


_King Brian-_


----------



## ABHale

I do wonder how the weekend actually went.

It is either we got it completely wrong and she played the role of the loyal wife perfectly or she was in bed with her ex the first chance they got.

I am guessing OP is PM’ing with a couple of members.


----------



## SunCMars

Plants and ideas planted _ahead-of-time_, blossom when opportunities water them.

Our original poster, our OP, surely assisted his wife into infidelity when he planted _his and her_ thoughts into
fertile Paul's head. 

When she arrived, both Paul's heads sprang to attention looking for loving nectar, me thinks.


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## DudeInProgress

Odds on OP returning, dropping below even at this point...


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## Evinrude58

SunCMars said:


> While we are waiting for the weekend report, we can spiel-and-posit, passing time, maybe passing some old beer gas!
> 
> .........................................................
> 
> 
> After all OP's fretting and lecturing, one would hope that his wife would restrain herself, those, her carnal urges.
> 
> If not, can anyone be so stubbornly predictable?
> 
> 
> Remember-
> 
> They played this role-playing game, husband-OP and her, with duped outsider, Paul, thinking she truly was seeking his love making.
> 
> They jointly conspired and fooled that erstwhile Paul, with him thinking OP's wife wanted to bed him, to get hot and hard boned by him.
> 
> 
> OK, whose to say she actually let him in on what was going on, with this back and forth erotic writing.
> 
> She may have called him, letting him know, telling him to 'play; along in this role acting.
> 
> With him and her someday performing for real?
> 
> Who's to say it was not a real desire by the wife to perform the role in the first person, not just in script?
> 
> Paul played his part admirably, *in-pecker-ably*, maybe more the common horny Bosun's Mate, not the Fleet footed Admiral.
> 
> It's Monday, is this the day OP's wife returns home from the wedding in Florida?
> 
> .........................................................................
> 
> All these days and these threads, Gee Willikers!
> 
> For me, they seem to roll into one crazy ball, taking in so many nosy people as they roll down hill to some end.
> 
> Here, on TAM, usually tragic endings.
> 
> So many naughty wives...
> There seems to be no shortage of them.
> 
> Maybe this one will be different, hmm?
> 
> 
> _King Brian-_
> [/QUOTE
> 
> 😂
> 
> the report........ is not going to be forthcoming I fear


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## ABHale

He said he doesn’t want to post again.

I don’t think he will if a mod wants to close the thread.


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## GusPolinski

ABHale said:


> He said he doesn’t want to post again.
> 
> I don’t think he will if a mod wants to close the thread.


Guessing the worst came to pass.

Damn. Sorry OP. 😕


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## DudeInProgress

GusPolinski said:


> Guessing the worst came to pass.
> 
> Damn. Sorry OP. 😕


I don’t see another plausible scenario.

Since it seems extremely likely that if nothing bad happened (or even if she just told him that and he chose to believe her in the absence of definitive video evidence), he’d be here telling us that there really wasn’t anything to worry about after all, and that we were all just a bunch of overreactive Neanderthals.


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## In Absentia

DudeInProgress said:


> I don’t see another plausible scenario.


I guess we will have to ask @HappilyMarried1


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## Sufi22

Checking in on you. How are you doing?


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