# Is twice per month, sexless ?



## sexualhealth (Dec 18, 2012)

I was wondering if sexless means absolutely no sex at all.

My partner engages twice per month which I now diary. I have come across people on here who are even less fortunate than me!

I sometimes wish I could greet him at the door when he comes home in something sexy, I have asked him this but he says that he may not be in the mood so I should not expect anything just because I have dressed up.

I love Ann Summers but I have stopped buying their stuff now, shame.


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

To me yes, to my wife ... it is more than enough.

I don't understand men like your husband. If my wife greeted me dressed in something sexy, I would be all over it. No matter how bad a headache I had, or how bad a day I had, or how tired I was. Can't think of any reason at all to not be 'up for it'.


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## marriedmanhere (Aug 2, 2012)

I have read that sexless is less than 10 times per year.
So I would not consider 2 times per month to be sexless, 
but it is obviously less than you want.

What would you be happy with?


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## ATC529R (Oct 31, 2012)

2 times a month is on the light side, but not sexless. there's something to work with..

the whole diary thing kind of bothers me.

I once started keeping "score" / taking notes when we had issues. pretty soon I had plenty to complain about. I stopped the note taking as I think it is counter productive.


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## sexualhealth (Dec 18, 2012)

marriedmanhere said:


> I have read that sexless is less than 10 times per year.
> So I would not consider 2 times per month to be sexless,
> but it is obviously less than you want.
> 
> What would you be happy with?


Three times per week


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## marriedmanhere (Aug 2, 2012)

sexualhealth said:


> Three times per week


2 times a month versus 9-12 per month.. that is a big gap.
Have you talked with him about meeting you in the middle? Maybe having fun 1 time a week?


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

ATC529R said:


> I once started keeping "score" / taking notes when we had issues. pretty soon I had plenty to complain about. I stopped the note taking as I think it is counter productive.


I think it can be worth while to make sure that you are in fact perceiving things as they really are. Not sure if it is productive long term.


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

Sexualhealth, 
You are incompatible with this man. You are unmarried. Such is life. Stop calling people your partner. That suggests a commitment that has no basis in reality.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

sexualhealth said:


> three times per week


marry me!


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I always thought the definition of sexless is based on the individual.sexless does imply NO sex at all if you're taking it literally.

twice per month would be unacceptable.It would put up huge red flags that I am not compatible with the person if they only wanted sex twice a month.I'm an every day kind of person unless there's a lot going on then I can push it to every other day.Any gap bigger than that will not work for me.My SO knows this and understands what I expect from him.

The frequency diary sounds a little too manipulative and controlling to me.Too petty.I'd be seriously hurt and frustrated if I discovered my SO was keeping tabs on how often or how little we do it.
Rather than keep a diary about it,talk about it.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

ATC529R said:


> 2 times a month is on the light side, but not sexless. there's something to work with..
> 
> the whole diary thing kind of bothers me.
> 
> I once started keeping "score" / taking notes when we had issues. pretty soon I had plenty to complain about. I stopped the note taking as I think it is counter productive.


I keep a diary. It's password protected and on my phone. Also keeps track of her periods. I've found it very helpful so far. Helps me to spot trends so I can get ahead of them before they become an issue. I also discovered that her cycle is 26 days instead of the usual 28. Even she didn't know that. Anyway, I like being able to look back at a month and see that we were intimate 4 times a week or 2 times a week. It's helpful for me to look at a month like December when we were 2x a week on average and kind of objectively evaluate it. i.e. it was a busy month with Christmas shopping, activities, work things....compared to August when things were more relaxed and the sex was twice as much.

I realize this isn't the most romantic thing in the world. I'm a very analytical person so it's just kind of comforting to me. Makes me feel like I have a little control.

I also have a spreadsheet that tracks my weekends so that I make sure I get a good balance of me time and family time. Before the spreadsheet, one year, I spent 3 out of 4 weekends on climbing trips, skiing and cycling. My wife was not impressed at all. So now I make sure that my alone weekends are only 1 per month, activity weekends with the family are 2x a month and "just home" weekends are 1 per month. And everyone is happier.

Edit: For the record, I only started keeping a period/sex diary after a very frustrating 10 year nearly sexlessness. At some point I do feel like I'll trust that we have a solid sex life and I'll stop keeping track.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

It would be easier to really help you if you kept your posts in one big post.

But to answer the question, 2 times a month would kill me. That is not a relationship *to me*. My husband and I have it on average 5 times a week and even then, we sometimes have it more.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

SadSamIAm said:


> To me yes, to my wife ... it is more than enough.
> 
> I don't understand men like your husband. If my wife greeted me dressed in something sexy, I would be all over it. No matter how bad a headache I had, or how bad a day I had, or how tired I was. Can't think of any reason at all to not be 'up for it'.


I don't get it either.

I would be thrilled if I was EVER greeted at the door (or maybe in our room since we still have kids at home).

It's obvious that you have a much higher drive than he does because you'd like sex 12x a month and he's good with 2.

Take it from someone who is about 3 weeks into no sex right now..............


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

ATC529R said:


> 2 times a month is on the light side, but not sexless. there's something to work with..
> 
> the whole diary thing kind of bothers me.
> 
> I once started keeping "score" / taking notes when we had issues. pretty soon I had plenty to complain about. I stopped the note taking as I think it is counter productive.


I have alwasy kept a diary that tracks my time of the month and sex. My mom taught all of her daughters, 5 of us, to do that. It's just a small notebook that we keep in the bedside table with the date and notes. Helps to remember info for medical purposes, figure out pregnancies, etc.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

WorkingOnMe said:


> I keep a diary. It's password protected and on my phone. Also keeps track of her periods. I've found it very helpful so far. Helps me to spot trends so I can get ahead of them before they become an issue. I also discovered that her cycle is 26 days instead of the usual 28. Even she didn't know that. Anyway, I like being able to look back at a month and see that we were intimate 4 times a week or 2 times a week. It's helpful for me to look at a month like December when we were 2x a week on average and kind of objectively evaluate it. i.e. it was a busy month with Christmas shopping, activities, work things....compared to August when things were more relaxed and the sex was twice as much.
> 
> I realize this isn't the most romantic thing in the world. I'm a very analytical person so it's just kind of comforting to me. Makes me feel like I have a little control.
> 
> ...


Off topic but .... 

Working you said your relationship with your wife improved dramatically because you became more alpha, if I remember correctly. 

I think your success is due almost totally on your decision to give your family more of your time and energy. 

That is valuable information for men and women trying to improve their relationships. 

I think looking first at personal issues and correcting them before finding fault with a spouse may be the most successful route.


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## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

Two times a month not an issue, as long as it's not a trend. W and I are in a "once every ten days or couple of weeks" cycle at the moment, for the last two months or so. Been there before, we'll be there again. But during these times there are also days where we'll go at it two or three times a day on one of those days.

Sometimes a "break" is not a bad thing...again, as long as it doesn't become the norm. Neither one of us would be happy with that in the long run, but neither do we feel pressured at the moment to increase it, nor do we feel frustrated.


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## studley (Oct 19, 2011)

sexualhealth said:


> I was wondering if sexless means absolutely no sex at all. My partner engages twice per month which I now diary. I have come across people on here who are even less fortunate than me!


On a very busy married sex forum I am on, the general feeling is
that sex less than 10 times/year is a sexless marriage.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

"sexless" may have a clinical definition, but it's all perception, and that's where the diary comes in.

My wife and I had a huge difference in perception... she though we were having sex every week when it was about every three weeks. My therapist suggested keeping track in order to see what the reality was.

But having done that, the more important thing is what to do about it. I think you need to make sure that his needs (which may not be sexual) are being met so that he can have the emotional connection with you. No one want s to have sex with someone that don't like or aren't getting along with.

Once you have established that, explain to him that an intimate, fulfilling sexual component is necessary in the relationship. Barring some physical or mental problem with him, tell him he has to figure out how to meet your need. If there are physical or mental issues, it's up to him (with your support) to address them.

Otherwise the relationship won't work.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Toffer said:


> marry me!


Your going to fast. You have to woo me a little bit more. Take me out to nice places and introduce me to your family. Then, perhaps after all of that, I'll think about it...


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Apologies if I missed it, but how old are you two? I'm a high drive guy and could easily do it daily and actually multiple times in a day if I could, so I in my book twice a month is way to infrequent. Three days a week would be a big jump, but if you and your husband can talk about this candidly and honestly, you'll likely come up with some sort of compromise. If you want 3 times/week, be prepared to ask for it daily up front and then try be prepared to "compromise" for less.


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## Ano (Jun 7, 2012)

I would even consider twice per week sexless! But thats cause I have such a high drive.

Twice per month would drive me insane.


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## KanDo (Jun 15, 2011)

I would consider twice a month unacceptable. In fact, I got out of a relationship because of exactly that! Keeping a log is a good idea. IT helps to objectify the situation. In the relationship I left, she swore we were making love twice a week. Showing her dates and times gave her a reality check. Unfortunately, she didn't try to change her behavior behavior until I said adios!

Have a heart to heart. If things don't improve very quickly, move on. I gather from your post you are not married. Don't accept a realtionship where the sexual discord is so high.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

sexualhealth said:


> I was wondering if sexless means absolutely no sex at all.
> 
> My partner engages twice per month which I now diary. I have come across people on here who are even less fortunate than me!
> 
> ...


 Having sex 12 times a year or less is considered sexless!


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## Michael A. Brown (Oct 16, 2012)

Maybe your husband is too tired from his work that's why his sex desire decreases.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

I have done the 2x per month sex drive right since I got married 13 years ago and since I'm an adventurous, spontaneous, fantasies HD guy, that is a non sex drive!!! Even my mother told me, sex only 2x a month?! Your father and I do that and we're in our 60's and retired!!! You guys should be having sex every chance you get because you're only young once and then when you have kids, it's ever less. I could easily have sex 1x each day, permanently and sometimes 2 - 4x a day when I'm really in the mood. But I'd compromise for 3x each week, once every 2nd day.......


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Twice a month is not something I would consider sexless, just limited sex. that amounts to about 24 times a year. I would venture to say that my wife and I hit around that often per year. There are times where we can go 3 or 4 weeks without sex and then maybe do it twice in a weekend. But the gaps in between are usually large.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

donny64 said:


> Two times a month not an issue, as long as it's not a trend. W and I are in a "once every ten days or couple of weeks" cycle at the moment, for the last two months or so. Been there before, we'll be there again. But during these times there are also days where we'll go at it two or three times a day on one of those days.
> 
> Sometimes a "break" is not a bad thing...again, as long as it doesn't become the norm. Neither one of us would be happy with that in the long run, but neither do we feel pressured at the moment to increase it, nor do we feel frustrated.


That's only a non-issue because you both are on the same accord.

This woman wants sex three times a week, and she's only getting it twice a month. It is a very big deal to her. Two times a month would be a huge issue with my wife and I, regardless of whether it was a trend or not.

The conflict doesn't arise from how much sex you're actually having. The conflict arises when the two spouses have radically different definitions of "enough".


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

What is really awkward is when both spouses feel like the amount is not enough. And yet it does not really change.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

2-3 times a week would be ideal for me too. For my wife, it's about once a week.

So we compromised and have sex once a week.

It's sexless if you define it that way.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Cletus said:


> 2-3 times a week would be ideal for me too. For my wife, it's about once a week.
> 
> So we compromised and have sex once a week.
> 
> It's sexless if you define it that way.


My parents had sex maybe twice a year. That's sexless.


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## TrustInUs (Sep 9, 2012)

I would turn into a b**** with only twice a month!

It sounds like you're drives are just too mismatched, has he even tried to compromise with you? If not, and your not married with kids, I'd cut my losses and move on.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Cletus said:


> 2-3 times a week would be ideal for me too. For my wife, it's about once a week.
> 
> *So we compromised and have sex once a week.
> *
> It's sexless if you define it that way.


That's some "compromise".

You are hilarious.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

jaquen said:


> That's some "compromise".
> 
> You are hilarious.


Married 27 years tomorrow. Would never have made it without a sense of humor.


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## Dr. Rockstar (Mar 23, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> I have alwasy kept a diary that tracks my time of the month and sex. My mom taught all of her daughters, 5 of us, to do that. It's just a small notebook that we keep in the bedside table with the date and notes. Helps to remember info for medical purposes, figure out pregnancies, etc.


I've kept a diary on and off (I really should get back to that at the beginning of the year after I get my iPhone 5 [HOLLA!])

At first I kept it because I wanted to initiate more often and track things for my own research. Nowadays when I do track things, it's still just tracking occurrences and general notes like intensity and intimacy. It's not the kind of thing we do together, because then it WOULD give us something to argue about. It's just so I can improve sex for both of us.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

that_girl said:


> It would be easier to really help you if you kept your posts in one big post.
> 
> But to answer the question, 2 times a month would kill me. That is not a relationship *to me*. My husband and I have it on average 5 times a week and even then, we sometimes have it more.


wow... where do you find time for 5 times a week!?


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> wow... where do you find time for 5 times a week!?


It really isn't that difficult to have sex everyday... if both parties are so inclined. 

To answer the OP: No, 2 times a month isn't sexless. If it was, I'd be sexless right now because of my husband's medications. Neither he nor I consider it sexless. We'd both like more... MUCH more. But right now, it's not feasible. However, we were at about once a week for awhile... and average for us was...hmmm...every other day, I believe. But that was a few years ago.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

I too could easily make the time for sex every day. You don't have to spend 1 - 2 hours each time, try 10 minutes and some cuddling. If that's too much in a 24 hour period, hmmmmmm......and on weekends, then have the 1+ hr sex sessions.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

CuddleBug said:


> I too could easily make the time for sex every day. You don't have to spend 1 - 2 hours each time, try 10 minutes and some cuddling. If that's too much in a 24 hour period, hmmmmmm......and on weekends, then have the 1+ hr sex sessions.


It's rather amazing how people suddenly have these huge time issues when it comes to sex.

Even if two busy people decided to have sex every single day, we're talking about, at minimum, less than two hours worth of time *a week*. Most people aren't having sex for hours on end each time. Why is it that 10, 15, 20 minutes per day is suddenly such a huge burden on time, but nothing else in the day is?

It's because we're not taught in this country that sex should be prioritized in a marriage. So people will have everything BUT sex on their "to do" lists. In many marriages sex isn't viewed as a necessity, but an optional treat.


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## TrustInUs (Sep 9, 2012)

jaquen said:


> It's rather amazing how people suddenly have these huge time issues when it comes to sex.
> 
> Even if two busy people decided to have sex every single day, we're talking about, at minimum, less than two hours worth of time *a week*. Most people aren't having sex for hours on end each time. Why is it that 10, 15, 20 minutes per day is suddenly such a huge burden on time, but nothing else in the day is?
> 
> *It's because we're not taught in this country that sex should be prioritized in a marriage. So people will have everything BUT sex on their "to do" lists. In many marriages sex isn't viewed as a necessity, but an optional treat.*


Very big point here, that I agree with. I realized if I could spend and hour watching the real housewives, then I can surely DVR it and spend that hour with my H instead. Or go to bed 30 minutes earlier, and still after a good ten minutes of pillow talk after the sex. Many people, women especially, won't look at it that way though.


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## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

I consider it sexless. My husband would consider it abusive. 
Trustinus....lol, i get you!
A really good day is when i can fit in work, dinner, real housewives AND sex....but thank god for dvr


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

TrustInUs said:


> Very big point here, that I agree with. I realized if I could spend and hour watching the real housewives, then I can surely DVR it and spend that hour with my H instead. Or go to bed 30 minutes earlier, and still after a good ten minutes of pillow talk after the sex. Many people, women especially, won't look at it that way though.


It really hit me when there was a post here on TAM several months ago where the female poster was frustrated that her husband wanted more sex, and didn't understand that she had sooo much to do. She even made out a list to show us...and none of it included time focused on her husband, or their marriage. The list had everything from helping kids with homework, to laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc. 

When asked how she had a list that didn't include her husband as a priority, she just did not even get it. She has soooo much to do, and that's all she could see.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

gbrad said:


> My parents had sex maybe twice a year. That's sexless.


How do you know or even guess how often your parents had sex?

That's one subject for which I don't want to know my parents' frequency. I'll die a happy woman never having that info.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Coffee Amore said:


> How do you know or even guess how often your parents had sex?
> 
> That's one subject for which I don't want to know my parents' frequency. I'll die a happy woman never having that info.


Oh no kidding! In recent years, my mom has actually uttered the words "I forgot what it looks like"... All I can say to her is "LA LA LA LA LA... I do NOT wanna hear that!!"


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## wifey87 (Dec 15, 2012)

yes it is, specially if you want it more than that. ANd ur husband is an idiot for not wanting you. Obviously when he comes in the door he is not going to be horny but thats why you are there for dressed up so that he can get in the mood


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

2x a month is certainly undersexed... and though some say daily or 3x a week is ideal, I think when you are not getting enough people tend to overcompensate. As for "sexless" to me that clicks in around the 10x per year number, the last couple years of my marriage were quickly diminishing from 10x/yr to 6x to 4x... then it diverged cause she got it elsewhere.

When things were good, the ideal was 2-3x a week - and though daily sounds great (I mean now I'm single I often go weeks straight taking care of myself daily) if it means having to seduce and work for it and always being the one to initiate, count me out. But as I mentioned on the niceguy = bad sex thread, for me sex isn't about my physical pleasure it was always about so much more, required my full attention. If it were as easy as masturbating then once or multiple a day would be awesome, but it has never been just a matter of looking at my spouse approach her, undress her and her being ready to penetrate and going at it for 5, 10, 15 minutes or half an hour - everything always had to be just right, I think the fastest quickie my ex and I ever had still took 20 minutes. Daily sex is a big inconvenience. But if I can have a day in between to catch up on sleep, I'd go for the magic 2-3x number.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

wifey87 said:


> yes it is, specially if you want it more than that. ANd ur husband is an idiot for not wanting you. Obviously when he comes in the door he is not going to be horny but thats why you are there for dressed up so that he can get in the mood


Whoa, whoa, whoa...time out. So you assume that a man just doesn't want his wife because he only wants sex twice each month? Or is that just the OP's boyfriend? 

I don't know if this has been asked and/or answered, but OP, is your boyfriend on any medications which have sexual side effects? This is what is wrong with my husband. He can be in the mood and it just won't work for some reason. Doesn't mean he doesn't want me. Quite the contrary. It means he physically cannot get into it...or at least STAY into it.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Thundarr said:


> Why no details? Did I miss them somewhere? Helping OP is futile if we have no clue of the details. For all I know OP is 85 years old and hubby is 99. Well then it's not a problem. Then again maybe OP and hubby are 22 years old and were like bunnies until recently. Yea context matters.
> 
> If OP is a real person and would like any responses thought out to help her then maybe a little more information.


She posted in another of her threads that she is 43. I would guess that her SO is roughly the same age...yea, I know, not necessarily, but isn't unlikely.


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## MaybeItsMe? (Oct 26, 2011)

My god, my wife and I have sex about 4 or 5 times a year (at most) we are both 30 and have been married a few years now without kids, marriage was where it went quickly down hill but it seems to be the way with woman these days. I have talked to her about it a few times, she says she does get horny but doesn't talk to me about it, do anything about it or even let me know and she doesn't know why. She has stopped taking her birth control pill as she "can't be bothered to take it" I suppose as we hardly ever have sex and I take care of the condoms when we do she sees no point in taking them any more. She also said it has to be spontaneous and doesn't like any form of texting or talking about sex in any way as this is not spontaneous. She said planning sex in any way is a turn off. To me this is just a bait and switch so she can have me ask and turn me down and also a way of telling me not to talk to her about sex if I ever want to have it again.

So as long as we are both in the mood, she isn't tired, nothing in work has gone wrong for her,nothing at home has gone wrong, her sister or friends haven't called to chat to her for hours, we have enough time after getting home from work, she has nothing on TV to watch, we haven't had any crossed words for the past few weeks, I come on to her in the correct way and she is willing to actually give in to her desires its not going to happen. Pretty slim odds there.

With that in mind, I have long since given up on sex and although at times I can get very ratty and angry for the most part I can just do what I want without her having control of the situation. If she wants us to be sexless at 30 then that's up to her, I will no longer be making any moves or talking about it with her. 0 sex next year will be fine with me, it will save me the heart ache. It also means she will be turned down by me if she ever bothers to try (99.9% sure she won't come on to me or even talk about it anyway).

In the past it made me feel a bit upset, sometimes feeling like I am a failure but I have found over the past 3 months I have become slightly repelled and disgusted with the thought of having sex with her. Maybe its coping mechanism, I'm not sure but its good for me anyway.


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## curlysue321 (Jul 30, 2012)

I read somewhere that a marriage was considered to be sexless if intercourse happened ten times or less per year.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

MaybeItsMe? said:


> My god, my wife and I have sex about 4 or 5 times a year (at most) we are both 30 and have been married a few years now without kids, marriage was where *it went quickly down hill but it seems to be the way with woman these days. I*.....


This is rubbish.


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## CanadianGuy (Jun 17, 2012)

MaybeItsMe? said:


> My god, my wife and I have sex about 4 or 5 times a year (at most) we are both 30 and have been married a few years now without kids, marriage was where it went quickly down hill but it seems to be the way with woman these days. I have talked to her about it a few times, she says she does get horny but doesn't talk to me about it, do anything about it or even let me know and she doesn't know why. She has stopped taking her birth control pill as she "can't be bothered to take it" I suppose as we hardly ever have sex and I take care of the condoms when we do she sees no point in taking them any more. She also said it has to be spontaneous and doesn't like any form of texting or talking about sex in any way as this is not spontaneous. She said planning sex in any way is a turn off. To me this is just a bait and switch so she can have me ask and turn me down and also a way of telling me not to talk to her about sex if I ever want to have it again.
> 
> So as long as we are both in the mood, she isn't tired, nothing in work has gone wrong for her,nothing at home has gone wrong, her sister or friends haven't called to chat to her for hours, we have enough time after getting home from work, she has nothing on TV to watch, we haven't had any crossed words for the past few weeks, I come on to her in the correct way and she is willing to actually give in to her desires its not going to happen. Pretty slim odds there.
> 
> ...



Maybe it's me? Yup, it's you. 

You still want to have sex. You look at other women and think about it. Why does your wife not respect your wishes? I believe you are very very unhappy with this and you feel as though she has all the power and control of the situation ( ? ) . In order for you to get through this you need to be prepared to walk away from this marriage. Are you? 

Read 

MMSLP - The Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011 | MMSL Primer | By Athol Kay | Married Man Sex Life

No More Mr. Nice Guy. - No More Mr. Nice Guy


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

MaybeItsMe? said:


> *it seems to be the way with woman these days.*


Don't put us ALL in that category! Even when my husband and I were having a rough time, we STILL had sex, on average, every other week. And even now, when his medications affect him such that he is unable to perform as we would like, it is STILL at least every two weeks... though I would prefer MUCH more often! Not all of us women are like your wife. 

I second the suggestion of His Needs Her Needs. Get it and both of you read it.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

MaybeItsMe? said:


> My god, my wife and I have sex about 4 or 5 times a year (at most) we are both 30 and have been married a few years now without kids, marriage was where it went quickly down hill but it seems to be the way with woman these days. I have talked to her about it a few times, she says she does get horny but doesn't talk to me about it, do anything about it or even let me know and she doesn't know why. She has stopped taking her birth control pill as she "can't be bothered to take it" I suppose as we hardly ever have sex and I take care of the condoms when we do she sees no point in taking them any more. She also said it has to be spontaneous and doesn't like any form of texting or talking about sex in any way as this is not spontaneous. She said planning sex in any way is a turn off. To me this is just a bait and switch so she can have me ask and turn me down and also a way of telling me not to talk to her about sex if I ever want to have it again.
> 
> So as long as we are both in the mood, she isn't tired, nothing in work has gone wrong for her,nothing at home has gone wrong, her sister or friends haven't called to chat to her for hours, we have enough time after getting home from work, she has nothing on TV to watch, we haven't had any crossed words for the past few weeks, I come on to her in the correct way and she is willing to actually give in to her desires its not going to happen. Pretty slim odds there.
> 
> ...


Young, no kids, and you're already down to 4 times a year? And you're still married to this woman, why?


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

jaquen said:


> Young, no kids, and you're already down to 4 times a year? And you're still married to this woman, why?


haha. And now I'm back to reality thanks to Jaquen stating the obvious. I second Jaquen's question.


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## MaybeItsMe? (Oct 26, 2011)

Hi,

I bought and read No More Mr. Nice Guy. It has some very good info that I am putting into practice. 

I am no longer going to try and make everything perfect, try to over complicate and over think situations, I am going to look after myself and be frank and up front with no resentment. 

I will report back and let you all know if this works.



jaquen said:


> Young, no kids, and you're already down to 4 times a year? And you're still married to this woman, why?


I think its because I have "Nice Guy" syndrome!


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## MaybeItsMe? (Oct 26, 2011)

I don't believe I am writing this. I sat my wife down before and I explained that there are going to be some changes etc

After 1 day... 1 day of ditching my "nice guy" my wife jumped on me while I was getting changed in the bed room, shagged my brains out the lay back and said "my god, I have no idea where that came from"

1 day!

I will probably sound like an advert now but "No More Mr. Nice Guy!" is a fantastic read and the simple tips are amazing.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

She is probably worried that she'll lose you.

See if she is the same way, that 1 day of crazy sex, a few months from now and not back to the comfortable usual self.

Because my wife does the same thing. Sometimes, 1 month of no sex and then she really gets worried, (clueless every time....) and shags my brains out for that once night and a few weeks later, back to her old ways.


My wife has never worn anything sexy at the door or ever because she is insecure and a larger woman. That also means no nail polish, toe nail polish, nice perfumes, etc. I would kill for a woman/wife that does this for me, takes care of herself, has a healthy sex drive with fantasies and fetishes, you have no idea. We have never been in the bathroom and shower together either. Even my wife told me, since I look young a good for my age, I would have no issues getting a woman in her 20's. Yikes to hear that!!! Even if we watch a tv show together, and there's hot women in it, she notices I'm looking, gets angry and changes the channel.

So I can't look at other attractive women but at the same time, she doesn't have to take care of herself or have a normal to high sex drive either?!


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## Dr. Rockstar (Mar 23, 2011)

Lon said:


> 2x a month is certainly undersexed... and though some say daily or 3x a week is ideal, I think when you are not getting enough people tend to overcompensate.


I just checked out the Kinsey Institute site regarding this. What it says is that unless you're under 24, 2-4 times a month is the norm for sex.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Dr. Rockstar said:


> I just checked out the Kinsey Institute site regarding this. What it says is that unless you're under 24, 2-4 times a month is the norm for sex.


I should read up on that to see how it defines "normal". You think it's simply an average, or does it include those who aren't getting any, like me atm?


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## MaybeItsMe? (Oct 26, 2011)

CuddleBug said:


> She is probably worried that she'll lose you.
> 
> See if she is the same way, that 1 day of crazy sex, a few months from now and not back to the comfortable usual self.
> 
> ...


I think you could be correct in this, she has blown up tonight because I told her I was unhappy she wouldn't talk to me about why we have these issues. She just cuts me off and says she feel uncomfortable and doesn't want to talk any more. This then means she will never bring up the subject (She does this every time). I don't just want more sex, I want to understand why this is happening, getting to the bottom of the root cause is just as important to me as the result. I did let her know that I had read a book to try and help me with my issues and that it would be nice if she read it but she just silently dismissed that idea (I was expecting that any way) just as I have tried to get her to come to counselling with me but she refuses that as well.

Sadly as my wife has signs of BPD she will then take any opportunity to blow up at me, blame me and run away saying things such as "you always turn it around on me" when ever I try to explain how she is making me feel. 

She said I was talking over her even though what I was doing was not let her butt in and talk over me to try and talk me down, I asked her to please let me finish what i was trying to say. She then said "Oh you are giving me an allotted time to talk now" (BPD, twist the situation to fit)

I tried to explain that I am 31 in February, I don't want to look back in another 10 years and be in this situation and so I will be leaving in February if the situation is no better, her response was that if I want a divorce I can have one and she said "Why wait? I will leave tomorrow" (I never said I wanted a divorce)
To be honest I half expected that response, cold and not caring, take the first exit rather than face the problem etc but I will no longer be a door mat, a pay cheque, some one to bail her out of her over spending, some one who doesn't get even his basic needs met.

If she doesn't walk out tomorrow I expect she will deliberately not change to test me, she likes to push against me almost like a rebellious child. Sadly I know this will probably mean that I will have to move out and give up my beautiful home that I have worked so hard for but life isn't just about material things, I would rather be a human being living in a 1 bedroom apartment than a door mat in a large house.

What I would now usually do is try and make it up to her, say I was sorry etc etc but what I am going to do is sit it out, let her calm down and not try to talk to her until she comes to me first. As a "Nice Guy Carer" Its going to be very hard for me to do this and there is a good chance she will leave me rather than come towards me, I think she sees it as a battle she must win and by talking to me or trying to fix the situation she is losing the battle and relinquishing her control over me. 

I will no longer be controlled by her and if that means she is going to leave then that is the way it is. I have to make a stand and now is a good a time as any.

It mad that life has to be this difficult, I never expected that I would have to fight so hard to be considered a basic human being with my own needs. Its a strange and lonely feeling knowing that my wife puts a lot more effort into fighting and arguing than she does into making me happy.

The "Nice Guy" has left the building.


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## Dr. Rockstar (Mar 23, 2011)

Lon said:


> I should read up on that to see how it defines "normal". You think it's simply an average, or does it include those who aren't getting any, like me atm?


It includes "Not in the last year" as one of the categories.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Dr. Rockstar said:


> It includes "Not in the last year" as one of the categories.


No wonder the world is in such bad shape: look at all the men not getting any in the past year, especially the single guys? And the single ladies got it even worse!? no wonder woman don't remain...


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## Dr. Rockstar (Mar 23, 2011)

Lon said:


> No wonder the world is in such bad shape: look at all the men not getting any in the past year, especially the single guys? And the single ladies got it even worse!? no wonder woman don't remain...


You're reading this in a completely different way than I am. You're seeing how many people aren't getting any. On the other hand, I'm looking at the fact that that in my age range most folks are getting it twice a month or more frequently.


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## MaybeItsMe? (Oct 26, 2011)

Normally I get up at about 5:00am to get to work and before I go I kiss my wife and say goodbye. 

My wife is now sleeping in one of the other rooms, do I still go to her in the morning to say good bye or do I just leave without saying anything?


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Leave without saying anything. I almost can't believe you asked that. And don't leave your bed. She wants to sleep elsewhere fine. But you stay in the marital bed.


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## MaybeItsMe? (Oct 26, 2011)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Leave without saying anything. I almost can't believe you asked that. And don't leave your bed. She wants to sleep elsewhere fine. But you stay in the marital bed.




Thanks, I'm not very good at these things. I'm quite a simple kind of guy trying to unravel a complicated mess.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

MaybeItsMe? said:


> Thanks, I'm not very good at these things. I'm quite a simple kind of guy trying to unravel a complicated mess.


Which explains why you are in the mess you are in. Look, if you need to read the MMSL book to improve your marriage then have at it. But I can pretty much tell you that the crux of the problem is that you are (were) an appeaser (doormat). Your wife started giving you crap about what you will and will not talk about, and you oblige her. I get it that you have made changes, but that was the crux of your problem in your marriage. To keep the romance in your marriage you have to exhibit these traits: 1) have self respect, 2) value yourself as someone important 3) be self confident, 4) be respectful of others and 5) don't let people walk all over you. This is what Athol Kay will tell you in his book and I've been able to tell you just now in a few sentences. It's the same blueprint we were supposed to learn when we were kids for how to make friends and interact with people by having mutually beneficial relationships. Unfortunately, it appears that a lot of people don't learn these lessons growing up anymore so they have to read books on how not to be a doormat and someone who is regularly taken advantage of by others.


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## MaybeItsMe? (Oct 26, 2011)

She came back home and said she had nothing more to say to me, she has arranged to go to a mutual friends for the evening. 

Before she left she said that I don't listen and started to get really angry. As she started to say "I can't be bothered" and "I won't let you walk all over me" I tried to calm her down, saying "I'm not angry, we obviously have things to talk about lets try and stay calm and just talk" I was being very calm, giving her personal space etc but she just wound herself up and up saying "I always blame her for everything"I asked her what time she will be back and she said "**** off" and slammed the door. That took about 3 minutes from start to finish. The only way I can normally calm her down is to start to empathise with her, agreeing and saying I understand. Even this takes a while while she berates me. I refuse to do this this time as it means I have to take the blame while she takes no responsibility for her actions.

Even though the nice guy me used to pay for everything and look after her she still thinks I am walking all over her like a door mat. I have no idea where she gets that from. She also changed the argument that we had yesterday and denied saying she was going to leave today. 

My wife likes to run away from me and gets very angry even when I am very very calm, she acts like the victim all the time no matter what and will twist the situation until she is the victim. She also likes to get the last word in, by saying something, then slamming the door. 

There was simply no need for her to get so angry, she seems as if she can't control herself and thinks she is justified in being angry. Leaving her to herself does not work either as she simply doesn't seem to be able to step back from a situation or think about how her actions affect other people. She just stays angry, but only with me. She can switch herself to nice mode for other people and totally forget about her anger as if she can totally compartmentalise her moods and have multiple moods at once depending on who she is talking to at the time with no cross over.

I also know that if she lost me she would know deep down it was the worst decision of her life but would convince herself that it was the best thing she ever did. My wife is very much a cut her nose off to spite her face type of person, who once her nose was removed she would then say having no nose was fantastic.

All this is because I asked her to talk to me about her issues with sex, she must really not want to do it if she is willing to go to these lengths to stop us talking about it never mind doing it. Makes me feel sick inside but I can't show her that.

The top and bottom is she is incapable of seeing anything other than her own point of view and still has the child like mentality that she is the centre of the world and everyone should revolve around her. I think I need to carry on working on my NMMNG not to get sex and a rewarding relationship but to allow me to move on in my life and leave her behind in her world of anger, confusion and self pity as she seems to be stuck and I can't and don't want to help her anymore

EDIT

This nails it for me

http://shrink4men.wordpress.com/2009/01/27/is-your-girlfriend-or-wife-a-professional-victim/


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Dr. Rockstar said:


> I just checked out the Kinsey Institute site regarding this. What it says is that unless you're under 24, 2-4 times a month is the norm for sex.


That is not what the site reports at all. You totally misread the charts.

The largest numbers posted among sexually active married people over age 24 are in the *A few times per month to weekly* category. It does not specify that this volume is "2-4 times a month", and the chart is only limited to "vaginal sex".

To suggest that the site is saying that 2-4 times a month is "normal" based off the data given is just plain incorrect.


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## tennisstar (Dec 19, 2011)

WorkingOnMe said:


> I keep a diary. It's password protected and on my phone. Also keeps track of her periods. I've found it very helpful so far. Helps me to spot trends so I can get ahead of them before they become an issue. I also discovered that her cycle is 26 days instead of the usual 28. Even she didn't know that. Anyway, I like being able to look back at a month and see that we were intimate 4 times a week or 2 times a week. It's helpful for me to look at a month like December when we were 2x a week on average and kind of objectively evaluate it. i.e. it was a busy month with Christmas shopping, activities, work things....compared to August when things were more relaxed and the sex was twice as much.
> 
> I realize this isn't the most romantic thing in the world. I'm a very analytical person so it's just kind of comforting to me. Makes me feel like I have a little control.
> 
> ...


A period diary? Omg! I would consider divorcing my husband over that. It feels very invasive.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

tennisstar said:


> A period diary? Omg! I would consider divorcing my husband over that. It feels very invasive.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


She might divorce me over my keeping track of her cycle? That's fine. Because I would definitely divorce her before I'm sexless again. She used up all of her leeway and all of my patience. Sex for now is a condition for staying married. I'm sad that it came to that, but that's the way it is.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

tennisstar said:


> A period diary? Omg! I would consider divorcing my husband over that. It feels very invasive.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Invasive? Because he wants to keep track of his wife's cycle? Seriously? I'd welcome it. If I get so distracted that I don't notice that mine have been late or forgot to note it in my own journal, I would find it welcome if my husband was keeping track of it as well. Who cares what the motivation is? What's important is that the cycles are tracked. Divorcing over periods... wow....


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Earlier this year we took a $10k trip to Fiji and she was on her period for part of it. Had I been tracking it then, I could have scheduled a week later which would have been better for us both.


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## tennisstar (Dec 19, 2011)

Maybe I feel this way because I was single for a long time, but it wouldn't be cool with me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MysticMouse (Dec 17, 2012)

I keep a period diary on my wife. She loses track then gets worried she might have missed one etc. I'm much more organized so I keep track. She actually likes asking me for the information. 

I would consider twice a month sexless but my wife and I have sex 7 to 12 times a week.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> Invasive? Because he wants to keep track of his wife's cycle? Seriously? I'd welcome it. If I get so distracted that I don't notice that mine have been late or forgot to note it in my own journal, I would find it welcome if my husband was keeping track of it as well. Who cares what the motivation is? What's important is that the cycles are tracked. Divorcing over periods... wow....


I can't believe guys don't keep up with this for other reasons. I always knew.
1. So I'd know when no action was going to happen.
2. So I'd know to have some empathy since she's not the whiny type.
3. Most importantly, one week before when ovulating was the best sex of the month so yea it's good to know when to get kinky.

That stuff's not a problem now though since Dr removed a few things in there.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Thundarr said:


> I can't believe guys don't keep up with this for other reasons. I always knew.
> 1. So I'd know when no action was going to happen.
> 2. So I'd know to have some empathy since she's not the whiny type.
> 3. Most importantly, one week before when ovulating was the best sex of the month so yea it's good to know when to get kinky.
> ...


LOL Those were the OBVIOUS reasons.  
Even then, it wouldn't bother me if my husband was keeping track of them. Hey, when I was nursing our babies, I was on progestin only pills... I had breakthrough bleeding every month. That was the easy one...every other week lol. BUt yes, Thundarr, your reasons are valid as well... and I would STILL welcome it!


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## tennisstar (Dec 19, 2011)

Maybe some women like it. Some, like me, don't. I'm a private person and this would bother me. Like I said, it might be because I'm very independent and spent a lot of years single.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

tennisstar said:


> Maybe some women like it. Some, like me, don't. I'm a private person and this would bother me. Like I said, it might be because I'm very independent and spent a lot of years single.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I am with you on this, i would find it creepy and invasive. If anything it would turn me off having sex with a man (and I like sex as much as I do air, water and food). My body is mine if I thought for one second someone was keeping tabs on me I would not be so willing to share myself. 

But that is me. However I happily give my partner a BJ or HJ or whatever when on my period and am otherwise HD so it is not an issue. I get why WOM would go to this length. While it seems an unhealthy thing to do, I have lived the sexless marriage and know the desperation it brings.


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## tennisstar (Dec 19, 2011)

Thundarr said:


> How exactly does someone not know their wife's cycle? It's kind of obvious for a multitude of reasons. Even in a sexless marriage he still likely takes out the trash. Still sees a pattern of midol use. Still know when his woman is extra mean or sensitive.


Most husbands know when their wife is on her period, I would assume. I tell my husband. What I wouldn't like us him tracking that and keeping a diary of it. It would make me think he's only worried about when we would have sex. It would make me feel he considers my body his and not mine. I share myself with my husband, but it is my body.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tennisstar (Dec 19, 2011)

Holland said:


> I am with you on this, i would find it creepy and invasive. If anything it would turn me off having sex with a man (and I like sex as much as I do air, water and food). My body is mine if I thought for one second someone was keeping tabs on me I would not be so willing to share myself.
> 
> But that is me. However I happily give my partner a BJ or HJ or whatever when on my period and am otherwise HD so it is not an issue. I get why WOM would go to this length. While it seems an unhealthy thing to do, I have lived the sexless marriage and know the desperation it brings.


Thank you. Some of the others made me feel there was something wrong with me for feeling that way.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

If a man resorts to tracking his wife's periods because she routinely withholds sex, and uses her periods as a never ending excuse to abstain, then I have zero sympathy for her feelings of violation.

Men who get plenty of sex don't typically need to resort to such desperate measures.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

jaquen said:


> If a man resorts to tracking his wife's periods because she routinely withholds sex, and uses her periods as a never ending excuse to abstain, then I have zero sympathy for her feelings of violation.
> 
> *Men who get plenty of sex don't typically need to resort to such desperate measures.*


I say they *can't possibly* need to resort to it. If sex happens pretty frequent then it's like knowing when they sleep. You just know it.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

I get plenty of sex now. But I have this little paranoia that it will drop off again and being able to look back and see that it's not calms me down. I'm sure that I won't track it forever. But for now I do and I think it's helpful. By the way, I got the idea from here. I then went looking for an app to track sex, tracking periods and ovulation were just a coincidence, in that the app I found tracked those as well. The app is for helping to get prego I guess.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> I get plenty of sex now. But I have this little paranoia that it will drop off again and being able to look back and see that it's not calms me down. I'm sure that I won't track it forever. But for now I do and I think it's helpful. By the way, I got the idea from here. I then went looking for an app to track sex, tracking periods and ovulation were just a coincidence, in that the app I found tracked those as well. The app is for helping to get prego I guess.


Does your wife know you do this? 

I could imagine that it could start arguments or resentments therefore perpetuating the problem. I ask because my ex used to think we had sex more than we did, I never bothered to keep a record but I never understood how he could not realise that it was a couple of months inbetween sex. If I had of kept track and then presented it as evidence I am sure he would have got mighty pissed off.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

She knows. But I don't use it as evidence or throw it in her face. I use it to remind me to step up my game.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Thundarr said:


> I say they *can't possibly* need to resort to it. If sex happens pretty frequent then it's like knowing when they sleep. You just know it.


I'll admit to having no idea about the timing of my wife's cycle. She keeps track, and that totally eliminates my need, or desire, to. I'd be hard pressed if asked what time of month she's going to land, especially since with her she's been fluctuating over the last year or so.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> She knows. But I don't use it as evidence or throw it in her face. I use it to remind me to step up my game.


Exactly! And my husband isn't the type to throw it in my face or use as evidence, either. If I have breakthrough bleeding at any point, he would be the one who would come up and say "Honey, I'm worried. You had an 'extra' period this month. I think you should get it checked out".... My husband doesn't keep track of sex, and currently, he doesn't track my periods. But he also knows that I am up for sex if HE wants to try (which he does not) during my periods. But, as of this moment, he does not keep track of my periods. I would welcome it because that's just who I am. It wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

ETA: Maybe I'm the odd one. Doesn't matter. I've been told I'm odd on here already, since I never have faked orgasms and refuse to even try...AND that my husband and I are open and honest about it.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Holland said:


> Does your wife know you do this?
> 
> I could imagine that it could start arguments or resentments therefore perpetuating the problem. I ask because my ex used to think we had sex more than we did, I never bothered to keep a record but I never understood how he could not realise that it was a couple of months inbetween sex. If I had of kept track and then presented it as evidence I am sure he would have got mighty pissed off.


*Facts are facts.* Anyone who gets mad that someone says we had sex X times over Y time period is not being reasonable. They are just angry that it's undeniable.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> ETA: Maybe I'm the odd one. Doesn't matter. I've been told I'm odd on here already, since I never have faked orgasms and refuse to even try...AND that my husband and I are open and honest about it.


:smthumbup: I told my wife years back not to bother with that as well. It's the best way to make hubby think he's rockin your world when he's not. I've certainly been lead to believe the toes curl frequently so if it's untrue then NOT MY PROBLEM. Plus my ego is not so fragile. I lean more arogant than humble which can be a problem as well.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

I don't really get why anyone would fake an orgasm. I find it kind of insulting. I mean, would a woman want a guy who just pretended he was enjoying sex with her?

If what he's doing isn't working for you, show him what does... don't fake it.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I don't really get why anyone would fake an orgasm. I find it kind of insulting. I mean, would a woman want a guy who just pretended he was enjoying sex with her?


It's wrong I've done it and it's wrong.

I guess I was trying to be all noble and save his ego since I knew it wasn't his fault but sometimes we get programmed into thinking all men will think they're bad in bed if their woman can't orgasm every single time.

With my SO I have no issues.But that wasn't the case with past partners...so I faked it to avoid conflict and hurt feelings.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

ScarletBegonias said:


> It's wrong I've done it and it's wrong.
> 
> I guess I was trying to be all noble and save his ego since I knew it wasn't his fault but sometimes we get programmed into thinking all men will think they're bad in bed if their woman can't orgasm every single time.
> 
> With my SO I have no issues.But that wasn't the case with past partners...so I faked it to avoid conflict and hurt feelings.


That may be a kind gesture, but unless it's a ONS, it can only make things worse. First, it's training him to do things the wrong way for you, and second, if he finds out you were faking it that would be 10x the blow to the ego than if you just didn't O.

But I'm sure you realize all that now!


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I don't really get why anyone would fake an orgasm. I find it kind of insulting. *I mean, would a woman want a guy who just pretended he was enjoying sex with her?*
> 
> If what he's doing isn't working for you, show him what does... don't fake it.


Yes, and a surprising number of guys do fake it from time to time. But few are going to admit that to their wives or girlfriends.

Men Fake Orgasms HOW Often? And More From The AskMen.com 2012 Survey


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Lon said:


> That may be a kind gesture, but unless it's a ONS, it can only make things worse. First, it's training him to do things the wrong way for you, and second, if he finds out you were faking it that would be 10x the blow to the ego than if you just didn't O.
> 
> But I'm sure you realize all that now!


yup,I went into my relationship with SO promising myself that I would never fake it with him.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Thundarr said:


> How exactly does someone not know their wife's cycle? It's kind of obvious for a multitude of reasons. Even in a sexless marriage he still likely takes out the trash. Still sees a pattern of midol use. Still know when his woman is extra mean or sensitive.


That right there. I can tell when she is a day or two away from starting almost every month just based on her attitude.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I don't really get why anyone would fake an orgasm. .


Because the one or both parties are wanting it to end, but the wife will be upset if the husband does not finish, so he fakes finishing to end it.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

jaquen said:


> Yes, and a surprising number of guys do fake it from time to time. But few are going to admit that to their wives or girlfriends.
> 
> Men Fake Orgasms HOW Often? And More From The AskMen.com 2012 Survey


I learn something new every day. I'm totally shocked. I mean, I've had a few times where for whatever reasons I can't get over the top for the big finish... DE... I was tempted to fake I guess; I made a mad dash for the finish and then switched to cuddle mode lol. I didn't make a thing of it and no conversation was necessary. 

According to the article, 26% of women fake it EVERY TIME they have sex. Wow... what fun. :\


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## MaybeItsMe? (Oct 26, 2011)

gbrad said:


> That right there. I can tell when she is a day or two away from starting almost every month just based on her attitude.


My wife has that attitude all month!


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## MaybeItsMe? (Oct 26, 2011)

My wife and I are going to counselling on Saturday. My wife agreed to go but wasn't very happy about it, I told her I was going no matter what. As usual she is very defensive and gave me the silent treatment making the atmosphere uncomfortable. I hope we can start to make some headway into our problems.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MaybeItsMe? (Oct 26, 2011)

She didn't go in the end and denied saying she would. Usual crap.


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## Pravius (Dec 12, 2012)

Toffer said:


> marry me!


This guy will give you three times a week. I will give you 7.... it's game on!

In all honesty, I also do not understand men like this. I am down wherever, whenever, however. I wish my wife did this for me, I can hardly even get her to initiate once a year if I am lucky.


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