# Exhausted trying to make it work with his sexual fetish. Desperate help needed!



## AddieMay (Sep 27, 2011)

I'm 20 years old, and my boyfriend is 22. He has an interesting fetish that I'm having trouble keeping up with. Bear with me here 

He has a very strong diaper fetish. He explains it as an unusual 'chasity device'. He loves wearing them, pottying (#1 only..so far) in them, wearing them out in public under pajama pants on our "pj days", pretending that he's the 'baby' and 'mommy' (myself) has to tell him what he can and cannot do, etc. 

I understand that his fantasy is of a woman taking total control, orgasm denial, and so on. I'm very open minded (I enjoy S&M and pain=pleasure), so I've tried all I can to be supportive and understanding to his wants, needs, and fulfilling his fantasies. 

The sexual aspect of our relationship has left me exhausted. I've been changing diapers left and right, making him stay in his wet ones [even out in public], and playing the dominant mommy role because I know all of these are what make him go crazy and I want to give him what he wants.

However, he main problem is he absolutely cannot get off with normal penetration. I usually have to sit on his face, giving him oral and adding a little baby talk in order for him to orgasm. He does play a great dominant male; he's very strong and attractive..but I have to beg him for this attention (being as I will be the only one getting off when he's in charge).

Is there anything I can try or we could try to help him have an orgasm without me always being the dominate mommy? I've addressed this issue to him, and he says he will try harder and we will have to 'take turns' from now on..but I still feel as if my needs aren't being met. 

Am I being selfish? I desperately need advice on this topic because I do love him dearly and want our relationship to work, but am not sure with this much sexual frustration.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

What about what you want? You clearly want a "dom" and your boyfriend is a "sub". This will not work unless he is willing to indulge your fantasies as well.

You have my admiration for being able to handle such a strange fetish. If my husband told me that only peeing in a diaper turned him on, I would seriously rethink the marriage.


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

Your 20 years old...You are unmarried. The only question I have is, do you want to live like this? Let him find a mommy and you find a normal male, and all of you will go on to great happiness in life.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

part of relationships are sexual compatibility and shared sexual desires and drive

you have none and his fetish will likely intensify as he gets older

thus it is not cruel to break up over this, in fact it is more merciful to do this now rather than later


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Where is this relationship going?

Is this what you`re looking for in a long term relationship?


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

You're already exhausted by his diaper fetish...can you imagine what it would be like if you married him and had kids..you would really be exhausted...you would be changing a real baby and the pretend one...as long as you are with him sounds like you will always be his mommy..is thrt what you want?


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

Dump him.


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## loveiswhereiamnot (Jul 8, 2011)

I think fetishes this strong only work out long-term if both parties are into the role they are playing. It sounds like you're okay with playing the role he needs, but it's too much, too often, and you have to work a lot to get him to reverse roles so you get your needs satisfied.

I think you just have to be clear on what you can do, how much time/effort you can put into it and what you need back to be happy sexually. If you can't find a compromise that makes you both happy consistently, it will be a huge area of fighting down the road with both of you likely looking outside the relationship to get your needs met.


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

I like CallaLily's comment about changing your husband's and baby's diapers. I could never live with someone who had this fetish. I don't see any compromising on this one. You have to ask yourself if you really want to deal with this for the rest of your life.

You are very young; I would consider dating other people to see what you like in a man.


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## married woman (May 4, 2011)

You need to move on! Seriously! It may be hard to do but I promise this is a time in your life that you are going to look back on and think "what was I doing?". He isn't worth wasting anymore time on.


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

I understand fetishes,and have heard of the diaper one your b/f is into. However, IMO his sounds a little excessive. I mean walking around in public with a wet diaper in his pj's? You stated you are changing diapers left and right and making him stay in wet ones as the dominate mommy. It almost sounds like a lifestyle for him, not a actual fetish he only carries on sexually in the bedroom. That is probably why you are exhausted, this is a lifestyle not just a fetish. You will need to ask yourself if this is the life you truly want with this guy.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

eewwww


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> eewwww


I expected more creativity from you!


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Get in your car, push the long pedal on the right. After leaving rubber marks in his driveway, never come back.


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

AddieMay said:


> The sexual aspect of our relationship has left me exhausted. I've been changing diapers left and right, making him stay in his wet ones [even out in public], and playing the dominant mommy role because I know all of these are what make him go crazy and I want to give him what he wants.


LMAO!!!!!!:rofl:


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## kelevra (May 19, 2011)

AddieMay said:


> Am I being selfish? I desperately need advice on this topic because I do love him dearly and want our relationship to work, but am not sure with this much sexual frustration.


You are only twenty, there are many many men out there need I say more.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

What exactly are YOU getting out of this relationship?

I know that sounds selfish considering that in any serious relationship one of the important aspects is how willing you are to prioritize your partner's needs. BUT, if your partner continually de-prioritizes your needs, the relationship will not be sustainable.

Most especially, do no go along with being de-prioritized. If your bf is unwilling to prioritize any of your needs and prioritizes his own to the exclusion of all else, then you need to seriously consider why you would stay with a person like that. Because you are worthy of being respected and having your needs a priority as well.

"_If you really put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price_." ~ Unknown

Best wishes.


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## omega (Aug 2, 2011)

loveiswhereiamnot said:


> I think fetishes this strong only work out long-term if both parties are into the role they are playing. It sounds like you're okay with playing the role he needs, but it's too much, too often, and you have to work a lot to get him to reverse roles so you get your needs satisfied.


:iagree:absolutely with this comment. 

He needs to be with someone who has the SAME FETISH (except coming from the opposite direction), not just a woman who is willing to go along with it sometimes. You are a hero for this guy but for what? What are you getting out of it?

Both of you will be much happier if you're with people who are truly compatible with you.

Also, early 20s is very young to be so "into" a fetish like that - it will only get more consuming as he grows older, not the other way around. The "#1 so far" comment will no longer apply, if you get my drift. This guy needs to be with a fellow diaper enthusiast to be happy. And you need to be with someone who is compatible with YOU to be happy.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

larry.gray said:


> I expected more creativity from you!


I'm as live and let live as the next person and what two consenting adults, a taxidermy moose, 20 ft of heat shrink tubing and hair dryer do on their own is their own business. 

But.....ewwwww. For real.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

Enchantment said:


> What exactly are YOU getting out of this relationship?
> 
> I know that sounds selfish considering that in any serious relationship one of the important aspects is how willing you are to prioritize your partner's needs. BUT, if your partner continually de-prioritizes your needs, the relationship will not be sustainable.
> 
> ...


:iagree::iagree: I love all the inspirational quotes.


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

I'm really not sure which is more gross: wet diapers or running around in pajamas outside for "pj days". Double ick.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Ugh. If my husband started wearing diapers, he'd find his shet on the front lawn.

I'm all about sexual experimentation, but this is a mental issue, IMO.

Not sexy, and it's ok to think so! Don't feel like you have to give in to things like this. It's creepy.


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## DriverAnt (Sep 30, 2011)

Dump the weirdo


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## HelloooNurse (Apr 12, 2010)

Therapy. He obviously has some hardcore Freudian issues going on there that seem to be taking over his life. I can understand doing it every now and again for a bit of excitement but damn! There is only so much you can do! If it were me I would be turned off completely. It would be like having sex with a toddler. And I'm not a pedophile so I'm not into that sort of thing - I prefer fully grown adult males, lol.


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## LonelyGirl6 (Nov 6, 2012)

AddieMay,
I feel your pain and indecision. My husband of one year, who I have been with for almost 7 years, told me about 3 months into our sexual relationship that he liked wearing diapers. It was not until years later that he clued me in to his desire to wear them 24/7. By then, we were in a serious relationship, living together and talking marriage, and I went through many sleepless nights wondering if I could deal with this long-term. I keep fluctuating about how much I can handle being his "mommy/caretaker", and I feel so guilty when all I want to do is run some days. It's not an easy road, and three is still so much unhappiness and indecision in my heart, so I am glad to see I am not alone in this. Thank you for sharing and I wish I had more wisdom to impart.


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## AsTheStoryGoes (Oct 10, 2012)

Woooaahhh...woah.. 

I like everyone else's responses on this. You really need to think about what YOU need and want out of this relationship, and that's not being selfish. Do you really enjoy being his mommy/caretaker? If not, this relationship probably isn't going to work out very well. I know it's sad and really hard to think about something like that when you really love someone..but unless he can start making your needs a priority for him, you're just going to continue being miserable. Is that what you deserve? Absolutely not. You two can make this work if you really want to. It will probably be hard, but it seems like you're already going above and beyond what I'd be willing to do if my husband had this kind of fetish. You are not selfish at all IMO. You are very giving and understanding, and he's lucky to have you. He should try harder to make you happy. If he can't/won't..then it may be time to move on. There are lots of other guys out there, and I'm sure there's a woman out there who shares in his sexual fantasies/desires who could make him happy.

Try talking to him about what you need and want, and let him know exactly how you feel.


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## LonelyGirl6 (Nov 6, 2012)

AsTheStoryGoes said:


> Woooaahhh...woah..
> 
> I like everyone else's responses on this. You really need to think about what YOU need and want out of this relationship, and that's not being selfish. Do you really enjoy being his mommy/caretaker? If not, this relationship probably isn't going to work out very well. I know it's sad and really hard to think about something like that when you really love someone..but unless he can start making your needs a priority for him, you're just going to continue being miserable. Is that what you deserve? Absolutely not. You two can make this work if you really want to. It will probably be hard, but it seems like you're already going above and beyond what I'd be willing to do if my husband had this kind of fetish. You are not selfish at all IMO. You are very giving and understanding, and he's lucky to have you. He should try harder to make you happy. If he can't/won't..then it may be time to move on. There are lots of other guys out there, and I'm sure there's a woman out there who shares in his sexual fantasies/desires who could make him happy.
> 
> Try talking to him about what you need and want, and let him know exactly how you feel.


He tries to make me happy and does go for days and sometimes weeks or more between wanting to be diapered, where we have sex without the diapers and other baby material (clothing and props), and it's lovely, but still sometimes he wants me to call him my bebe, and tell him what I will do to him later in diapers, describing in detail. He frequently upon waking and feel horny wants me to "tell him a story", which basically entails me describing a day of taking care of him, from waking him up to what we are doing, to descriptions of me changing his diaper, and putting him down for a nap and letting him suck on me....He pretty much wants the same story, give or take, every morning as he jerks off, and since I'm barely awake and very little variety is needed (I even ask him to give me a new idea for the story, and he usually refuses), I sometimes comment I could just make a recording and let him play it when he needs that stimulus so I can sleep...

He is a super caring and kind man who I adore, and when he tries to reciprocate with things he believes I enjoy, it occasionally feels as mechanical as me diapering him must feel as it's not his thing as much. We do have some moments of being intimate where I feel we are on the same page, and both enjoying, or we wouldn't have made it this long. I go through periods when I am more indulgent and do my best to be supportive, then I go through periods where it just turns my stomach.


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## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

What the hell is up with people and their judgemental attitudes about fetishes around here? 

How is that helpful for the OP? 
My god


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## aston (Oct 24, 2011)

ummmm, I think he's got some mommy issues.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

AddieMay said:


> The sexual aspect of our relationship has left me exhausted. I've been changing diapers left and right, making him stay in his wet ones [even out in public], and playing the dominant mommy role because I know all of these are what make him go crazy and I want to give him what he wants.
> 
> However, he main problem is he absolutely cannot get off with normal penetration. I usually have to sit on his face, giving him oral *and adding a little baby talk in order for him to orgasm.*


Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm h#ll to the no!!!! Sorry, but that is disgusting! So he likes diapers. Leave him in his soiled diapers and RUN as fast and as far away as you can!!!! This is sick...........IMO!!!


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## LearninAsWeGo (Oct 20, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> part of relationships are sexual compatibility and shared sexual desires and drive
> 
> you have none and his fetish will likely intensify as he gets older
> 
> thus it is not cruel to break up over this, in fact it is more merciful to do this now rather than later


What he said.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

aston said:


> ummmm, I think he's got some mommy issues.


:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

They make diapers big enough for a grown man? :scratchhead:

well at any rate,you won't be able to keep this up unless you guys establish a schedule with his fetish.It has to be fair because if it isn't you'll start resenting him then you'll begin being repulsed by his fetish until the relationship falls apart.
It should go without saying that he needs to stop being so selfish.You have needs too and while they may not be as "special" as his,he still must recognize and fulfill your needs with as much enthusiasm and effort as you show when fulfilling his needs.


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## clarabarton (Aug 23, 2012)

I have only read a few of the reponses to you, but sometime this year the Dr. Phil show had a whole episode about a women and her boyfriend (who was like yours). Maybe you can find it on line. This is just my opinion, so please don't be upset by it, but this whole thing (pretending to be mommy, baby, wearing diapers, etc.) just seems to be too much, it seems like so much more than just a sexual fetish to me. I don't think I could deal with it. For you and your boyfriend though, I hope you can make it work.


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## clarabarton (Aug 23, 2012)

Grown Man or Baby? with Dr. Phil - YouTube

Here's a short clip of the Dr. Phil show I mentioned. You will see why it makes me feel weird.


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## east2west (Oct 19, 2012)

It sounds like he is extremely submissive and you are switch with more submissive tendencies.

It's good that you are both kinky and understanding of each other, but it doesn't sound like there is real compatibility here.

My advice, let him continue his search for an extremely dominant woman to play mommy with him. And you do the same.


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