# Who cheats? who forgives?



## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

HuffPost Divorce partnered with YouGov to poll 1,000 U.S. adults about their feelings on infidelity -- and the results may surprise you.

*Politics*
•	25 % of people who copped to cheating included 
•	30 % of people who said they were Democrats
•	23 % who identified as Republicans 
•	23 % who said they were Independents

*More women than men admitted to being unfaithful*
•	28 % of women admitted to cheating
•	22 % of men admitted to cheating
•	Most cheaters were between 30 and 44 years of age
•	Those who admitted to being unfaithful included 
•	33 % of 30 to 44-year-olds
•	25 % of those age 45 to 64
•	21 % of 18 to 29-year-olds 
•	and 18 % of those 65 or older

*Men are more likely to give a cheating spouse another chance*
•	32 % of women surveyed said they would file "no matter what" 
•	23 % of men said they would do the same. 
•	14 % of men said they would definitely give their partner another chance 
•	9 % of women said the same.

*Democrats were more tolerant of a cheating spouse*
•	14 % of Democrats say they would definitely give their partner a second chance
•	10 % of Republicans surveyed say they would definitely give their partner a second chance 

*Seniors are the least likely to resort to divorce after a partner's infidelity*
•	16 % of people over the age of 65 said they would file for "no matter what
•	22 % of people 45-64 said they would definitely split
•	35 % of 30- to 44-year-olds would file for divorce "no matter what"
•	32 % of 18- to 29-year-olds would file for divorce "no matter what" 

_The Huffington Post | By Kelsey Borresen 
Posted: 12/05/2012 12:46 pm EST_

From personal experience I don't see anything to argue about.


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## Bee2012 (Dec 8, 2012)

Like that poll. . Although I believe more than 9 % of women forgive. Bet they just don't admit to it.


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

Based on threads on this board I wonder what percentage of those that said "divorce no matter what" changed their minds after they discovered they were actually cheated on. I think a good percentage changed their minds.


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## Pepper123 (Nov 27, 2012)

walkonmars said:


> Based on threads on this board I wonder what percentage of those that said "divorce no matter what" changed their minds after they discovered they were actually cheated on. I think a good percentage changed their minds.


I am sure this percentage is relatively high; I know a couple of people that have had to make this decision. Once you throw children, assets, etc. into the mix it is not a matter of just walking away anymore.


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## castepatri (Dec 7, 2012)

I think a good percentage changed their minds.


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## LetDownNTX (Oct 4, 2012)

Now they should go to an actual infidelity site and poll there, that will give them more accurate figures.

Before I was cheated on I would have been one of those that would have "definitely filed for divorce". Its different when you're "in" it!!


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## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

LetDownNTX said:


> Now they should go to an actual infidelity site and poll there, that will give them more accurate figures.
> 
> Before I was cheated on I would have been one of those that would have "definitely filed for divorce". Its different when you're "in" it!!


This is SO true! Its easier to say you'd walk away than it is to do in the moment. Also, I think alot of people dont realize that cheating also happens in 'good' marriages. People assume if their partner cheats its bc the marriage was bad. Simply just not always true. I can attest. We had a good marriage before his EA. We still do. Its just a bit tarnished at the moment but I have every belief it wont stay that way forever. If I didnt see true honest to God remorse from him, I'd leave, no doubt. But Ido and I think that is something people in these polls fail to realize when answering the question bc it hasnt happened yet and they cant predict the circumstances. I am NOT saying there's any excuse for what he did, Im saying there are circumstances for him personally that allowed this to happen. He is addressing those issues.


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## Bee2012 (Dec 8, 2012)

Yes, also when there are small kids involved and financial circumstances that don't allow you to just pick up and leave.


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## Labcoat (Aug 12, 2012)

Not really a fan of these surveys. It always seems like their aim is the same of those surveys they do on marijuana usage; to show how common it is and, ultimately acceptable it should be.

What is the question they are asking? “Have you ever cheated on anyone ever?” Does an emotional affair back in high school count?

Bottom line is that an affair is not a part of a happy marriage, period. Even if 50% of marriages are affected by infidelity, it doesn’t mean that any of those people are happy afterwards.

What I’d really like to see is a study how many relationships ended by death were touched by infidelity. My guess: precious f*cking few of them.

As an aside, raise your hand if your WS tried to tell you that infidelity was "actually more common than you think." Yeah, so's cancer.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Labcoat said:


> As an aside, raise your hand if your WS tried to tell you that infidelity was "actually more common than you think." Yeah, so's cancer.


:bounce: <--- As close as we have to a raised hand smiley.

Cheating is everywhere, it's no big deal, everybody lies about sex, yada yada, but no she never cheated. So she said.


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

I have never cheated and will never tolerate it being done to me - no exceptions.


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## Labcoat (Aug 12, 2012)

Cee Paul said:


> I have never cheated and will never tolerate it being done to me - no exceptions.


Proud to say I didn't tolerate it either. Finally accepted that it was better to be alone that with a sh*tty woman. However, I have to ask, have you ever had the occasion to put this principle to the test? I bet a lot of the people on this site attempting R said the same thing.


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## doc_martin (Oct 19, 2012)

based on what I read here everyday, I'd say the numbers of women cheating are really much higher! I guess I could be wrong, but for every story of a WH, I read three or four about a WW on here. Maybe us men just don't have anywhere else to go to talk about it. I dunno. 

In any case, it's a sad commentary.


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

Labcoat said:


> Proud to say I didn't tolerate it either. Finally accepted that it was better to be alone that with a sh*tty woman. However, I have to ask, have you ever had the occasion to put this principle to the test? I bet a lot of the people on this site attempting R said the same thing.


Had a girlfriend I dated for two years cheat on me a long time ago and once I found out I ended it, and I have also been in a position where an attractive co-worker has tried to make a move on me and I totally & politely rejected her(but I was flattered).


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## still.hurting (Dec 10, 2012)

LetDownNTX said:


> Now they should go to an actual infidelity site and poll there, that will give them more accurate figures.
> 
> Before I was cheated on I would have been one of those that would have "definitely filed for divorce". Its different when you're "in" it!!


Curious, what type of affair are you forgiving; physical or emotional? Has the cheater ever cheated before? Do you think you are a bit responsible for him/her cheating or do they blame you in anyway? And, would you forgive your partner if they cheated on you twice, once 5 years ago which was a 1 night stand and the 2nd time an emotional affair through text, sexting and everyday phone calls while you were pregnant and they believe that you were the cause for it?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

I left once, I'll do it again in necessary. I had a little infant involved the day I left. I will not ever put up with infidelity no matter what age I am.


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