# how do i make it stop? my life sucks!! Is this abuse?



## NewtoThisMarriageThing (Oct 17, 2012)

I don't know what to do. My husband has a drinking problem. We've been married a little over a year, no kids. He has two children. Ive worked throughout our marriage up until a month ago. I quit a new job and completely regret it. He made it seem like i wouldn't have to worry about anything bcuz he would handle it. Well, what was i thinking?! He has barely held a job since we have been married. He works construction and is a welder and most of his jobs are temporary or don't last long. Right now, he has been working at this job that seems stable. He's been there for almost 3 weeks. Anyways, he just got paid for the first time at that job, and he gave me $25 for groceries, asked for the change. He took me out for dinner, n he spent like 35 in drinks for himself, during happy hour. It may not seem like much but we are broke, living at his parents house, n his mom doesnt like me. Shes an alcoholic n you can imagine her mood swings. 

So we finish dinner n our outing around 1045. But he wants to keep drinking. I don't drink. So i say to just drop me off going home. I don't like going with him bcuz he gets wasted every single time. He spends all the money possible on drinking. So he got home around 430 because i woke up n called him when i saw he wasnt there. He got home n i locked the room door bcuz he acts irrational n scary when drunk. He slept in the kids room n then got up about two hours later n knocked on the room door again . I opened thinking it Probably wore off a little. I was wrong! He got in the bed n tried to have sex with me, kept saying f u everytime i said leave me alone n was very forceful. He even started sucking my toe really hard. I said i had to use the bathroom n left n sat in my car for a while. I came back in n he was sleeping so i snuck in the kids room n locked the door. Again, two hours later he wakes up n knocks on the door. I open thinking ok by now it had to have worn off. Wrong!!! He comes in without pants or boxers trying to have sex again. I kicked him off n ran to the other room. Finally, i didnt open anymore. 

Hours later i got up already planning on leaving for the day. He comes in n tells me "come here" to like hug him n i say no. He says he wants me to be nice to him. I say leave me alone. Then, he tells me to leave n get out. He took all his money left out of the bank. Didn't give me a dime, says i stole from him bcuz i paid my bill when he got paid.

Im so shocked at who i married. Hes done this before. Not the money but the drunkenness n trying to be forceful. Saying what hes gonna do to me n i say no n he yells n says yes he is! It is scary n i yelled. Thats what made him stop bcuz we're at my inlaws. Its been scariere when we lived alone n he even broke the bedroom door. Hes spat on me n everything when hes been drunk. 

So, what do i do?! I've been at my moms all day so far. He hasnt called or texted. Im 26 , hes 32. We have no children together although theres a possibility i could have gotten pregnant this month.

Im at a loss bcuz its my marriage n u never expect it to end or be this way


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## NewtoThisMarriageThing (Oct 17, 2012)

*Re: how do i make it stop? my life sucks!!*

I apologize the post is a little choppy as I wrote it from my phone. I have told him plenty of times that I was going to leave n file for divorce. But, I've never been gone for more than a few hours. He was saying the other day how he's got me wrapped around his finger

He was joking but of course I think he really thinks that and he possibly does. I was so infatuated with him ever since we met. I basically gave up my whole life, my friends, everything and he's my only friend. 

So now, if I start over it's like trying to regain my life. Man! This is such a horrible feeling. I have little money, no job, and I can't depend on the one person a woman is supposed to be able to trust and depend on the most.. my husband!! 

Btw, his kids are only with us half the week. They are 12 and 13


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## ThreeStrikes (Aug 11, 2012)

So, he's cut you off from friends and family. He let you quit your job so that you have to depend on him financially. Your entire life revolves around him and his addiction.

He's right. He does have you wrapped around his little finger...at least until you decide that he doesn't.

You have allowed this to happen. Why are you tolerating a relationship like this?


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

What do you do? You divorce him, plain and simple. Why in the WORLD did you quit your job?? Get another job and end this nightmare, ASAP!!


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