# Husband’s Friend dirty comment!



## Believeingod (Oct 12, 2020)

2 weeks ago we went to AZ for my Husband’s college friends reunion. One of them came with his Family from India. And some of them were local, and some came from different places.
The day of the first meeting, we were in one of the friends hotel room(after dinner).
I went to check on the Kids prior to joining them. After I came back to the room, I saw my husband was not there, and I asked one of the friends to which he replied “He is out sleeping with another woman!” and I said “OK”, and then he again replied “You also go do the same!” I was flabbergasted and didn’t say anything since there were other friends sitting there. But I did notice one of the Friend’s wife looking at the one who made the nasty comment and giving him “That was not okay to say!” kinda look!
This friend is a college friend of my husband’s and is known to make all sorts of jokes in their group, and I have no issues with this. But then, that doesn’t give him the liberty to do the same with me, needs to show respect!
They were all drunk, yes, but still, that doesn’t allow him to be disrespectful & cross the boundaries!
I brought this up to my husband the next day, to which he said “If he does that again, I will handle it!” Which I wasn’t expecting & happy about.
And another thing he said “If that’s bothering you too much, why don’t you talk to him yourself!”
Now, am not saying, he should have gone to his friend the moment I told him, or he should fight with him, not at all. But at least, let that friend know what he said wasn’t okay!
For the sake of my Kids, and to not ruin the trip ,I kept quiet after what my husband said to me.
Yesterday, this thing was brought up again.
And I hear a different story from him!
Says he did tell the friend “ The level of jokes you make, should only be okay with me!” but didn’t tell him exactly what he said to me, wasn’t Ok.
He says the friend was quiet.
So I asked him “Why didn’t you tell me that you spoke to him, and secondly why didn’t you tell him, “what you said to my wife, wasn’t appropriate!”
Husband replied “I didn’t have to, because what I said was enough to convey my message.
And also tells me that he forgot to tell me he spoke to him!
Now, knowing how bad and hurt I felt after this comment, he wasn’t even ready to talk to him, and now he claims he did, and says “forgot to tell you”
The audacity of him talking to me in an angry way, as if I have done something wrong, it is heartbreaking! I have always been the victim and yet have to go through the anger!
What are your thoughts?


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

My thoughts are that you are hugely making this out of proportion if this drunk fool interacts with you once in a lifetime.
Your husband said he mentioned it snd the guy got quiet. Do you need an ass whoopin to take place to feel vindicated?

maybe I misread something…. Sounds like an idiotic comment due to drunkenness and you should let it go.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Believeingod said:


> 2 weeks ago we went to AZ for my Husband’s college friends reunion. One of them came with his Family from India. And some of them were local, and some came from different places.
> The day of the first meeting, we were in one of the friends hotel room(after dinner).
> I went to check on the Kids prior to joining them. After I came back to the room, I saw my husband was not there, and I asked one of the friends to which he replied “He is out sleeping with another woman!” and I said “OK”, and then he again replied “You also go do the same!” I was flabbergasted and didn’t say anything since there were other friends sitting there. But I did notice one of the Friend’s wife looking at the one who made the nasty comment and giving him “That was not okay to say!” kinda look!
> This friend is a college friend of my husband’s and is known to make all sorts of jokes in their group, and I have no issues with this. But then, that doesn’t give him the liberty to do the same with me, needs to show respect!
> ...


Yea, I agree with EV on this.

You wanted your hubby to handle it, and it sounds like he did.

Don’t get upset because he handled it his way. You don’t get to control how he does it.

My wife does this **** to me so maybe I’m trigger happy about it.
If you ask him to handle something, and then get pissed about how he did it, that’s on you.

On the other hand if the guy comes back and has the same behavior? Then you get to beat up hubby for not doing what he said he would. But not until then.


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

You are wildly over blowing this. 
Your husbands friend made a stupid, obnoxious, inappropriate, out of place and uncalibrated comment during a night of drinking. It can happen. And your husband said that he addressed it with his friend. 
End of story.

I understand being annoyed and even put off by his comment. 
But to be HURT by it, and to expect your husband to also catastrophize somethings so trivial, is a serious overreaction.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Next time why don't you just tell the guy, "You're gross. ". And walk away.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

You're upset over the remarks made by someone who was drunk. Think about it.


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## Believeingod (Oct 12, 2020)

Believeingod said:


> you spoke to him, and secondly why didn’t you tell him, “what





Evinrude58 said:


> My thoughts are that you are hugely making this out of proportion if this drunk fool interacts with you once in a lifetime.
> Your husband said he mentioned it snd the guy got quiet. Do you need an ass whoopin to take place to feel vindicated?
> 
> maybe I misread something…. Sounds like an idiotic comment due to drunkenness and you should let it go.


Thanks for the reply. No, I did mention that I wasn’t expecting him to go right away and fight with the friend! I do understand the drunkenness part, but then if that’s the sole reason for his misbehavior, would that asshole do the same to his wife who was sitting there as well? NO!


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## Believeingod (Oct 12, 2020)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Next time why don't you just tell the guy, "You're gross. ". And walk away.


This is what I cursed myself for! Not telling him “You are an asshole!”


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

When I’ve experienced someone trying to get a rise out of me or be provocative in some way, and especially with alcohol involved, I’ve tended to say something along the lines of ‘Keep it classy’ or ‘Behave yourself’ …which is like the gentle initial signal to cut it out in that type of social scenario. And, has typically done the trick in such a scenario. If I don’t know them well and booze is in the mix, that’s how I’ve chosen to navigate. Those kind of idiotic comments aren’t something that I’d take personally to feel hurt by. I’d just think they’re being a fool and if we were to encounter them again, depending on the comment/action, it’d be mentally filed alongside observations of how they present next time.

In saying that, friend of family members years back was expressing a lot of sexual innuendo my way. I was dodging it the best I knew how, kinda telling him to cut it out in a measured way - he’d been drinking and his wife was right there - trying to balance consideration to family members knowing they're friends. However, as my husband (aka Batman) was there and purposely not drinking, it didn't take long before Batman was very direct in telling him to cut it out. The man tried to joke/laugh it off. Batman told him it wasn't funny. We could all feel the tension. And not long after, the night was wrapped up as a result. Family member tried to reassure Batman afterwards that their friend didn't mean anything by it and '..You just need to get to know him..' Batman didn't accept that and responded along the lines of 'I don't need to get to know him at all. He can get to know me/us and what we're about.' He was annoyed that family felt that was acceptable. We did end up seeing them once more shortly after, and the husband displayed best manners, and without shenanigans or innuendos. Saw them again briefly this year, and the husband was on ‘best manners’ around me/us. Although we did say to family members that we had no interest in meeting up with that couple socially again while we were visiting.

Now that I'm older and uglier and hopefully a bit wiser, I likely wouldn't feel the need to weigh my response with consideration to family members if in that scenario again. Although sometimes there’s a balance that can be had, and typically the ‘behave yourself’ response has been sufficient.

Your husband communicated what he felt was ‘right’ according to the social dynamic he shared with that man. Do you trust that his communication resulted in the outcome for other guy to know not to be that way around you? How do you feel that your husband and him may joke like that between themselves - yet with the expected boundary that other guy needs to monitor himself around you? Is that okay with you?

And did you gain any understanding as to why your husband was angry/annoyed following learning what he’d said to the guy? Do you feel that you have the tools to be assertive in other scenarios?


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## Believeingod (Oct 12, 2020)

Sfort said:


> You're upset over the remarks made by someone who was drunk. Think about it.


And he knows how to talk respectfully to his wife, but not the wives of others? Just a thought!


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Believeingod said:


> And he knows how to talk respectfully to his wife, but not the wives of others? Just a thought!


Welcome to humans. Often full of contradictions and consistently navigating as we bump into one another. I was doing my best to be discrete one night and trying not to freak out that I suspected a bug had flown down my top. Another woman’s husband saw me and asked if I was okay. I told him about the bug to explain my weird movements. He was buzzed and offered to get it out for me. I told him to behave himself. He nodded and said ‘good point’. End of.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

heartsbeating said:


> Welcome to humans. Often full of contradictions and consistently navigating as we bump into one another. I was doing my best to be discrete one night and trying not to freak out that I suspected a bug had flown down my top. Another woman’s husband saw me and asked if I was okay. I told him about the bug to explain my weird movements. He was buzzed and offered to get it out for me. I told him to behave himself. He nodded and said ‘good point’. End of.


That was probably my dad.
One time a group of my mother's middle-aged sisters were at our house in the room off the living room with the door closed changing clothes, and my dad went up to the door and asked if they needed any help. They were all giggling about it. There's safety in numbers.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Believeingod said:


> This is what I cursed myself for! Not telling him “You are an asshole!”


Then why are you mad at your husband?

Your response to his question should have been “when I see any real men”.

You let it get under your skin when you should have turned it back on him. Don’t let jerks get to you.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Believeingod said:


> And he knows how to talk respectfully to his wife, but not the wives of others? Just a thought!


You should have said, "Oh, I'm sorry you're not man enough to satisfy your wife, tell me when they get back. Hubby did say you had a little winki and needed help with he wife from real men*


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## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

How old are you and how long have you been married?


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

Reunions tend to bring out the worst in some people.  Your husband seemed to handle it well on your behalf and just know that it’s always better to walk away from jerks because it’s just not worth it.


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## Believeingod (Oct 12, 2020)

Bulfrog1987 said:


> How old are you and how long have you been married?


48 and 21 and a half years of marriage.
a lot had has happened in those years, and am still here & alive!

why the question, asking out of curiosity.


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## Believeingod (Oct 12, 2020)

heartsbeating said:


> When I’ve experienced someone trying to get a rise out of me or be provocative in some way, and especially with alcohol involved, I’ve tended to say something along the lines of ‘Keep it classy’ or ‘Behave yourself’ …which is like the gentle initial signal to cut it out in that type of social scenario. And, has typically done the trick in such a scenario. If I don’t know them well and booze is in the mix, that’s how I’ve chosen to navigate. Those kind of idiotic comments aren’t something that I’d take personally to feel hurt by. I’d just think they’re being a fool and if we were to encounter them again, depending on the comment/action, it’d be mentally filed alongside observations of how they present next time.
> 
> In saying that, friend of family members years back was expressing a lot of sexual innuendo my way. I was dodging it the best I knew how, kinda telling him to cut it out in a measured way - he’d been drinking and his wife was right there - trying to balance consideration to family members knowing they're friends. However, as my husband (aka Batman) was there and purposely not drinking, it didn't take long before Batman was very direct in telling him to cut it out. The man tried to joke/laugh it off. Batman told him it wasn't funny. We could all feel the tension. And not long after, the night was wrapped up as a result. Family member tried to reassure Batman afterwards that their friend didn't mean anything by it and '..You just need to get to know him..' Batman didn't accept that and responded along the lines of 'I don't need to get to know him at all. He can get to know me/us and what we're about.' He was annoyed that family felt that was acceptable. We did end up seeing them once more shortly after, and the husband displayed best manners, and without shenanigans or innuendos. Saw them again briefly this year, and the husband was on ‘best manners’ around me/us. Although we did say to family members that we had no interest in meeting up with that couple socially again while we were visiting.
> 
> ...


I can’t really say, first of all, I don’t even know if my husband spoke to him or not, I wasn’t there!
I can only take him at face value.
They can joke as they want between themselves.


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## Believeingod (Oct 12, 2020)

Bulfrog1987 said:


> How old are you and how long have you been married?


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## Believeingod (Oct 12, 2020)

heartsbeating said:


> Welcome to humans. Often full of contradictions and consistently navigating as we bump into one another. I was doing my best to be discrete one night and trying not to freak out that I suspected a bug had flown down my top. Another woman’s husband saw me and asked if I was okay. I told him about the bug to explain my weird movements. He was buzzed and offered to get it out for me. I told him to behave himself. He nodded and said ‘good point’. End of.


Thank you so much for this!


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## Believeingod (Oct 12, 2020)

heartsbeating said:


> Welcome to humans. Often full of contradictions and consistently navigating as we bump into one another. I was doing my best to be discrete one night and trying not to freak out that I suspected a bug had flown down my top. Another woman’s husband saw me and asked if I was okay. I told him about the bug to explain my weird movements. He was buzzed and offered to get it out for me. I told him to behave himself. He nodded and said ‘good point’. End of.


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## Rayr44 (6 mo ago)

What happens to you is 10%. How you react to it is 90%. In other words you can decide how much power you can give someone to hurt you. It’s all in your mind.

Your husband’s best mate is not your best mate. If a drunk man on the streets offended you, how much offence do you take. Water off the ducks back!


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

if he can't handle his mouth he is just a fool , 
if he does not know how stupid he is when he has drink he is a fool , 
now why you worried about what a fool would say ,


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## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

Believeingod said:


> 48 and 21 and a half years of marriage.
> a lot had has happened in those years, and am still here & alive!
> 
> why the question, asking out of curiosity.


Your response to the way things were handled and you being hurt over this made me think you may be on the young side and early years of your marriage is all.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Believeingod said:


> Why are you being indirectly judgmental?


I don’t understand your question to be able to answer.


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

Wow what a crazy over reaction. The the majority of the responses are to the effect of "you are way out of line on this" and almost every reply by the Op is more defensiveness.



Believeingod said:


> The audacity of him talking to me in an angry way, as if I have done something wrong, it is heartbreaking! I have always been the victim and yet have to go through the anger!


No surprise that you're always the victim. You clearly enjoy playing the part. A word of caution- If your husband has any degree of self respect he won't put up with your shenanigans forever. He probably enjoyed the affections and attentions of a girl 27 YEARS younger than him but that gets old fast (pun intended).


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Yawn…just another stupid drunk comment. Let it go.


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

You're making too much of it. Just a drunken dumb ass making what he thought was a funny comment.. if you were quicker on your feet you could have knocked their d!cks back with something along the lines of. 

" yeah, I would, but looking around here ain't nothing that would get any woman excited, you know what I mean?"


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Not a big deal.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Trident said:


> Wow what a crazy over reaction. The the majority of the responses are to the effect of "you are way out of line on this" and almost every reply by the Op is more defensiveness.
> 
> 
> 
> No surprise that you're always the victim. You clearly enjoy playing the part. A word of caution- If your husband has any degree of self respect he won't put up with your shenanigans forever. He probably enjoyed the affections and attentions of a girl 27 YEARS younger than him but that gets old fast (pun intended).


What I understood was that she was 48 yrs old and has been married for 21 1/2 years.
Was my reading comprehension flawed?


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

Evinrude58 said:


> What I understood was that she was 48 yrs old and has been married for 21 1/2 years.
> Was my reading comprehension flawed?


The post is rather ambiguous. I got 48 years old, 21 years old, and married 1/2 year. But looking back at it I'm thinking you're probably right.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

Believeingod said:


> 2 weeks ago we went to AZ for my Husband’s college friends reunion. One of them came with his Family from India. And some of them were local, and some came from different places.
> The day of the first meeting, we were in one of the friends hotel room(after dinner).
> I went to check on the Kids prior to joining them. After I came back to the room, I saw my husband was not there, and I asked one of the friends to which he replied “He is out sleeping with another woman!” and I said “OK”, and then he again replied “You also go do the same!” I was flabbergasted and didn’t say anything since there were other friends sitting there. But I did notice one of the Friend’s wife looking at the one who made the nasty comment and giving him “That was not okay to say!” kinda look!
> This friend is a college friend of my husband’s and is known to make all sorts of jokes in their group, and I have no issues with this. But then, that doesn’t give him the liberty to do the same with me, needs to show respect!
> ...


A drunk guy makes a bad drunken joke.
You are upset by said bad drunken joke
You tell hubby you're upset
Hubby talks to the guy
You're mad at hubby that he didn't talk to the guy the way you wanted him to talk to him.
You're also mad at hubby for not running and telling you he talked to the guy.

Guys don't need a long discussion about feelings and stuff. A simple don't do that is sufficient in most circumstances.

All this is over a stupid joke made by a drunk guy.
You're inventing things to be mad at you husband about and I'm guessing you do this often which is why your husband talked in an angry way.


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## Believeingod (Oct 12, 2020)

happyhusband0005 said:


> A drunk guy makes a bad drunken joke.
> You are upset by said bad drunken joke
> You tell hubby you're upset
> Hubby talks to the guy
> ...


Being in a state of drunkenness doesn’t give the liberty to do anything!
That said, I don’t need to say anything more to you about me!


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## Believeingod (Oct 12, 2020)

Believeingod said:


> Being in a state of drunkenness doesn’t give the liberty to do anything!


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## Believeingod (Oct 12, 2020)

Trident said:


> The post is rather ambiguous. I got 48 years old, 21 years old, and married 1/2 year. But looking back at it I'm thinking you're probably right.


48 and 21 and a half years of marriage.

wow! You re read it then!
English isn’t my first language and I still wrote it very clearly! Not sure what was hard to understand 😂
Your made up lines were hard to understand🤣🤣🤣🤣


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

@Believeingod I read through your others posts and you seem to have a track record of not liking the way your husband handles things. Forgive me, but it all feels like you probably nag the hell out of him. In one of your posts your husband said as much and sited it as the reason he doesn't want to have sex with you. Have you ever resolved that situation? I bet you haven't since this thread sounds like more of that harassment he wasn't turned on by. 

He addressed the situation with this friend, but it just wasn't good enough for you. Do you have that kind of interaction with him a lot? Are there a lot of things he does that aren't the way you would like it to be done? I'm asking this in all seriousness, because you are here in this thread blowing a rather minor issue out of proportion and it seems your husband is getting the brunt of your anger rather than the man that made the dirty comment. Somehow this has become your husbands fault.


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

BigDaddyNY said:


> @Believeingod I read through your others posts and you seem to have a track record of not liking the way your husband handles things. Forgive me, but it all feels like you probably nag the hell out of him. In one of your posts your husband said as much and sited it as the reason he doesn't want to have sex with you. Have you ever resolved that situation? I bet you haven't since this thread sounds like more of that harassment he wasn't turned on by.
> 
> He addressed the situation with this friend, but it just wasn't good enough for you. Do you have that kind of interaction with him a lot? Are there a lot of things he does that aren't the way you would like it to be done? I'm asking this in all seriousness, because you are here in this thread blowing a rather minor issue out of proportion and it seems your husband is getting the brunt of your anger rather than the man that made the dirty comment. Somehow this has become your husbands fault.


Just take a look at the last few responses she made to various posters. 

People that come on forums like these then fly off the handle at others that are just giving an opinion that isn't what they want to hear always raises a gigantic red flag about what that person's character is all about. 02.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

Believeingod said:


> Being in a state of drunkenness doesn’t give the liberty to do anything!
> That said, I don’t need to say anything more to you about me!


Reality check, when you told your husband about the comment he wasn’t really mad at his friend. He saw it for what it was that’s why he first said he would address it if it happens again.

to keep it simple your are in the wrong for being upset with your husband in this situation.


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

hamadryad said:


> Just take a look at the last few responses she made to various posters.
> 
> People that come on forums like these then fly off the handle at others that are just giving an opinion that isn't what they want to hear always raises a gigantic red flag about what that person's character is all about. 02.


Yes, she's a real piece of work, definitely not in a place where anyone can give her advice that she will possibly use.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

happyhusband0005 said:


> Reality check, when you told your husband about the comment he wasn’t really mad at his friend. He saw it for what it was that’s why he first said he would address it if it happens again.


Friend like to screw with people and did something that was injurious to the wife. My friends know better, but then again I keep better company than this kind of trash. 

What this guy did, to me would be no different that if he grabbed my wife's ass or slapped her on the ass and said he needed a piece of that. There would have been more that a talk. I would have popped him in the mouth, informed him what he said was not cool and left. He damn sure would have known where I stood with behaviors involving my wife.


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## Believeingod (Oct 12, 2020)

Trident said:


> Wow what a crazy over reaction. The the majority of the responses are to the effect of "you are way out of line on this" and almost every reply by the Op is more defensiveness.
> 
> 
> 
> No surprise that you're always the victim. You clearly enjoy playing the part. A word of caution- If your husband has any degree of self respect he won't put up with your shenanigans forever. He probably enjoyed the affections and attentions of a girl 27 YEARS younger than him but that gets old fast (pun intended).


I am not over reacting ! And am not being defensive at all, just stating the facts. It’s very easy to pass judgement without knowing what someone is going through.


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

Believeingod said:


> I am not over reacting ! And am not being defensive at all, just stating the facts. It’s very easy to pass judgement without knowing what someone is going through.



I don't think anyone here said it was "good", and i doubt anyone felt you didn't have a right to be somewhat upset over it, but putting it into context, it was a classless comment by an idiot that was alcohol impaired...I run a business, and deal with a lot of people daily...If I lost my shyt every time someone said something stupid or classless, id need to be institutionalized after a few days...

I think all you have to do in these cases, is not get overly bent about it, like I previously stated, perhaps you could have used this as an opportunity to completely humiliate that guy, but admittedly not everyone has that type of chutzpah... 

People on here are trying to help you understand the nature of this type of thing...No one is being insensitive, that I can see, anyway...


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## Believeingod (Oct 12, 2020)

Trident said:


> Yes, she's a real piece of work, definitely not in a place where anyone can give her advice that she will possibly use.





BigDaddyNY said:


> @Believeingod I read through your others posts and you seem to have a track record of not liking the way your husband handles things. Forgive me, but it all feels like you probably nag the hell out of him. In one of your posts your husband said as much and sited it as the reason he doesn't want to have sex with you. Have you ever resolved that situation? I bet you haven't since this thread sounds like more of that harassment he wasn't turned on by.
> 
> He addressed the situation with this friend, but it just wasn't good enough for you. Do you have that kind of interaction with him a lot? Are there a lot of things he does that aren't the way you would like it to be done? I'm asking this in all seriousness, because you are here in this thread blowing a rather minor issue out of proportion and it seems your husband is getting the brunt of your anger rather than the man that made the dirty comment. Somehow this has become your husbands fault.





hamadryad said:


> I don't think anyone here said it was "good", and i doubt anyone felt you didn't have a right to be somewhat upset over it, but putting it into context, it was a classless comment by an idiot that was alcohol impaired...I run a business, and deal with a lot of people daily...If I lost my shyt every time someone said something stupid or classless, id need to be institutionalized after a few days...
> 
> I think all you have to do in these cases, is not get overly bent about it, like I previously stated, perhaps you could have used this as an opportunity to completely humiliate that guy, but admittedly not everyone has that type of chutzpah...
> 
> People on here are trying to help you understand the nature of this type of thing...No one is being insensitive, that I can see, anyway...


And that is the reason I am here, not meaning to be rude or anything at all! 
My only problem is, all these years I have been longing for care & love of a man. Have known the hubby since 1995 and got married in 2001. We have 2 Kids. I have been through a lot in those years, but am still here with him. When I say a lot has happen in those years, believe me, it hasn’t been easy! Being from a different culture, things are more challenging/difficult.
I agree, everyone has their own way of handling issues/things, but yes, may be I was expecting too much from my husband, am seeing him from the angle “he is my protector” and he is saying “If he does that again, I will take care of it” 

Yes, I so wished I put that friend in his place!
But at that moment, I was dumbfounded.


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## Believeingod (Oct 12, 2020)

BigDaddyNY said:


> @Believeingod I read through your others posts and you seem to have a track record of not liking the way your husband handles things. Forgive me, but it all feels like you probably nag the hell out of him. In one of your posts your husband said as much and sited it as the reason he doesn't want to have sex with you. Have you ever resolved that situation? I bet you haven't since this thread sounds like more of that harassment he wasn't turned on by.
> 
> He addressed the situation with this friend, but it just wasn't good enough for you. Do you have that kind of interaction with him a lot? Are there a lot of things he does that aren't the way you would like it to be done? I'm asking this in all seriousness, because you are here in this thread blowing a rather minor issue out of proportion and it seems your husband is getting the brunt of your anger rather than the man that made the dirty comment. Somehow this has become your husbands fault.


I agree we all have our own way of handling things, but sometimes, looking at the severity of the problem, one can change the thought process and come to a mutual understanding, that’s all I was trying to say to the Hubby.
Saying he doesn’t want to have sex with me, he admitted that he said it in anger and felt deep remorse for saying it. But has the sex life gotten any better? No.
Long story short, he hardly communicates with me, am the one who is always dreading spending alone time together, yearning for his love and care.
Thanks so much for your time.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Believeingod said:


> I agree we all have our own way of handling things, but sometimes, looking at the severity of the problem, one can change the thought process and come to a mutual understanding, that’s all I was trying to say to the Hubby.
> Saying he doesn’t want to have sex with me, he admitted that he said it in anger and felt deep remorse for saying it. But has the sex life gotten any better? No.
> Long story short, he hardly communicates with me, am the one who is always dreading spending alone time together, yearning for his love and care.
> Thanks so much for your time.


See, I still interpret this to mean your husband accomplished a task, but not exactly the way you wanted. You discussed with him how he should do it. So you could come to a "mutual" understanding.


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## Lotsofheart73 (Oct 13, 2021)

If you don’t like the way he handled it, then handle it your self. At some point in time, people get tired of doing things for other people (even if a loved one) when they constantly complain or pick apart the way something was handled. Whether it be the way the dishwasher was loaded or the way towels are put away (or not) and includes someone complaining about the way a situation with drunk idiot.


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## Rayr44 (6 mo ago)

Have you considered counselling or therapy? Not trying to be disrespectful, I think it will help you and your husband a lot. Maybe this is not a platform for you to seek advice as it is going to affect your mental health even more.


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

I feel like your husband handled this well with his friend. If it happens again, you can say something to the friend yourself to put him in his place so he knows not to cross that line with you again.


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

Believeingod said:


> may be I was expecting too much from my husband, am seeing him from the angle “he is my protector”


Nobody needs protection from crude jokes. I'm sorry you couldn't think of a witty comeback at the time but that's on you.


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