# Should I watch football with my husband even if I hate it?



## Zeldaforever (Oct 16, 2011)

I really can't stand sports, and he watches them all, baseball, football, basketball, whatever. I usually go on the computer if a game is on. I actually stayed in the computer room all day today, because he had friends over that I didn't know very well, and I didn't want to watch football, basically. But he sometimes asks me to watch it with him, and I am starting to feel guilty for being absent for such long periods. Is there a middle ground here, or should I just suck it up and hang out with him even though I can't begin to comprehend why two groups of guys want to run into each other at top speed.:scratchhead: I must be feeling guilty for a reason, I fear..


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## chattycathy (Aug 19, 2011)

I say watch it often with him, try to find something cool about it and don't tell him you don't like it.
It actually can be fun to get into and it is prime bonding time.


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## NoIssues (Oct 9, 2011)

I say no way. Having different interests is healthy. You only have one life to live. Why do what you dont enjoy


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Maybe sometimes. I am not into sports. Thank god my husband isn't either. However, we went to a Fight party a couple weekends ago to watch some boxing match and we actually had a good time together. Although, we were commenting on their clothes and stuff LOL

I know how you feel though. Football makes me gag.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Does your husband sit down and watch Dancing With The Stars or The Batchelorette with you? 

Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with having some different interests between spouses. But as others have said, being in the same room might be nice. Or maybe for the "big games" or something?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

I don`t see why you would have to watch with him.

If he occasionally asks to watch sports with him I`d sit down and spend some time doing so but otherwise I don`t see that you should.


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

I don't think that you have to love everything that he does.
I am a pretty big NASCAR fan. My wife isn't. She will watch a few minutes of a race with me, ask what's going on and be on her way. She has gone to the races with me a few times and enjoyed that.
I don't expect her to watch races with me, just like I am not going to watch Lifetime or American Idol with her.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

If it is really that much of a chore don't bother, but if you want to impress him, do something slightly less boring that he would like - I know this sounds sexist and cliche, but if you get him and his buddies beer and nachos with a smile on your face your husbands confidence level in front of the guys would soar, and he'd bring it to the bedroom. The problem I often find with those in BAD marriages is the wife finds doing that kind of thing degrading so refuses, where those with great marriages the wife loves the attention and reaction of those seeing her please her man. If you really don't like either option then yeah your best choice is to stay out of sight and out of mind.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

I think if he has asked you to watch with him then maybe you should give a chance, at least occasionally.  Ask him what he likes about it, who his favorite team is, how the game is played, etc. Even if you don't care much for it, he would probaby delight in you taking interest in something that interests him. If, after that, you still can't stand it, at least the both of you can be content in your sincere effort. My husband (bless him!) made the effort to show interest in the LEAST manliest interest on Earth - collecting My Little Ponies (my hobby) and he did this early on without any provocation for me. It made me feel very special because he cared about my interests, and not just his own. It's just a little time, sweetie, and the two of you could be closer for it. Maybe I'm biased because I love football, but I think you should give it a shot, or sit nearby with a book or something to occupy you, as suggested above. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LuvMyH (Nov 11, 2009)

I started watching football and college basketball with my husband 3 seasons ago. He really appreciates it. I think it's great for couples to have different interests, but it's also good to make an effort to enjoy some of those interests together. Sports happen to be big with my husband so I put on a team tshirt, open a beer and cheer along with him. I think it's fun, now.

Since he has asked you, I think you should try it a couple of times. You may end up enjoying it- if not, stop. I think your husband will appreciate the effort.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Thewife (Sep 3, 2007)

I am not a sporty person when we married but he is a foot ball craze, he wanted me to watch and I said I'll try if I still don't like I won't, in return he promised to try my interests (going for long walks and trekking). We did and I should say I have come to love foot ball. Though I don't watch all the games, I'll be there for finals and world cup of course. Now we have struck a balance. After all we married this person and to we want live happily together for the rest of our life. Sometimes making others happy makes us happier.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Thewife said:


> Sometimes making others happy makes us happier.


 Agreed!!! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## omega (Aug 2, 2011)

There is a middle ground here. I'll just tell you what I do, see if it appeals to you:

My husband is really into soccer. Sometimes basketball. Soccer is on basically year-round, if it's not his favorite team playing, it's the Euro final or the World Cup or whatever. So it's pretty much always soccer season. I don't give a hoot about soccer - the only sports I enjoy watching are the Olympics. But, that said, I can get behind the idea of cheering for a team, conceptually. The whole "yay! we got a goal!" thing. 

So what I do, is when he's watching a game, I make myself present - he'll tell me it's about to start, I'll finish the dishes or whatever and come in around 10 minutes in. I'll sit down and watch for 10 minutes, then I'll go do something in the kitchen, check my email, come back 5 minutes before half-time and check the score, commiserate or cheer with him. During half-time, hang out with him... then watch the beginning of the second half for a few minutes.. then wander off again and do more stuff, wander back in and out a few times. I try to be there at the end too.

So, why does this work? He's so absorbed in the game, that he doesn't really notice the passage of time or whether I'm there at one particular moment or another, but he has the general concept that I've been there. So he feels like he's not watching the game alone, and out of a 90 minute game, I've probably spent about 25 minutes watching it.

If it's our national team playing, I am more competitive and I get more into it, and will actually watch the whole thing - because of national pride, not because of soccer interest.

A few times when it wasn't the national team or H's team playing, and I didn't know which team to cheer for, I picked the team with the cuter players. That doesn't work for football, since you can't really see them and they're not that cute to start with, but soccer guys are kind of hot, so there's that too.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Couples don't have to do everything together but I'd suggest you watch a game with him on occasion. Showing an interest in a spouse's pass-times is healthy. If you don't understand the game ask questions. He'll appreciate your interest. My wife was about as non-sports as they come but has become a huge NCAA FB fan. Pretty much all that is on at our house on autumn weekends. I also enjoy watching DWTS with her. Competition is competition in my mind but then again I was a jock in high school.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Only if you want to. Years ago, a BF got me into football by 'betting' on the games with me and my kids. No cash involved 

The kids ended up playing football, and one of the even refereed for a few years.

It was fun!


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

YinPrincess said:


> *I think if he has asked you to watch with him then maybe you should give a chance, at least occasionally.  *Ask him what he likes about it, who his favorite team is, how the game is played, etc. Even if you don't care much for it, he would probaby delight in you taking interest in something that interests him. If, after that, you still can't stand it, at least the both of you can be content in your sincere effort. My husband (bless him!) made the effort to show interest in the LEAST manliest interest on Earth - collecting My Little Ponies (my hobby) and he did this early on without any provocation for me. It made me feel very special because he cared about my interests, and not just his own. It's just a little time, sweetie, and the two of you could be closer for it. Maybe I'm biased because I love football, but I think you should give it a shot, or sit nearby with a book or something to occupy you, as suggested above.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Good advice. Since he asked it is more important. Just put in some effort. Separate interests are fine and essential. But showing an interest in them occasionally is a good idea.

It is said that a couple needs at least 15 hours every week together to maintain a proper bond. If you are getting at least this with him outside of the sports stuff then this is less important. I suggest that watching sports at least sometimes with your husband is a very good idea. Disappearing for hours on end is not.

We need to remember that companionship is one of men's emotional needs. It is less about talking for men than women but doing things together is important to many. Putting in an effort to learn enough of about the sports is worth while in my opinion. Not doing so means that both of you have much more to make up for the non sports times. Sinces sports can take up hours and entire days then this is probably an issue. 

He can certainly make his efforts as well but this question was about what you could do. Again the fact he asked you to join him was makes a difference. Now I do not think you are obligated to jpin him whne he has friends over. I think it would be more when he is watching alone and you guys could have together time. You do not want to become the hostess for his friends. If they are his guests he is the host.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Well, when my husband and I were younger I became a "football widow". He would spend inordinate amounts of time watching football, following football, and talking about football, which I will admit I am not the least interested in. 

I ended up occupying myself with other hobbies and projects.

The only time it becomes a problem is when it seems to totally consume the other person, which is what happened with my H. Sitting down with him to watch football just fed his 'addiction' and made him think watching every blessed minute it was on was okay if I actually sat with him and watched (but he didn't always like my snarky, yet insightful, commentary about the plays/games - I needed something to make it worth my while.  )

We finally had a big fight over it. He admitted that he was being neglectful and too focused on it, and that there had to be reasonable bounds to it (just like there needs to be for my hobbies and projects).

Overall, we are much better now. He limits the time he spends and focuses on only a few game highlights each week, and usually only watches one on the weekend in its entirety. Sometimes I watch for a while with him, sometimes not. Last night he got a big kick because we went out to a sports bar and he could watch a bazillion games all at once.

He still isn't interested in participating in any of my 'hobbies', nor does he care if I watch with him or not anymore, but at least he was able to see what he was doing before was a bit unreasonable and was willing to meet somewhere in the middle.

If you feel you and your husband are similar to what my H and I were, where it may be getting out of control, you might want to consider talking to him about it. Becoming a 'football widow' can potentially lead to larger problems (resentments) down the road for both of you.

Best wishes.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Thewife said:


> I am not a sporty person when we married but he is a foot ball craze, he wanted me to watch and I said I'll try if I still don't like I won't, in return he promised to try my interests (going for long walks and trekking). We did and I should say I have come to love foot ball. Though I don't watch all the games, I'll be there for finals and world cup of course. Now we have struck a balance. After all we married this person and to we want live happily together for the rest of our life. *Sometimes making others happy makes us happie*r.


:iagree::iagree::iagree:

Wondermous


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## Zeldaforever (Oct 16, 2011)

Thanks for all the good advice! We have been married for 9 years, and I HAVE tried in the past to show interest in sports just to be supportive, but over the years the front has worn down and I just don't want to be around. I think if I feign to be interested in it at this point he'll know it's insincere. When his friends are over he doesn't notice if I am there or not anyway(in my mind). But I will try to make and effort to be there with HIM (sometimes)and at least not say negative things. I like the idea of getting a book and sitting there. I really just get so antsy and stressed out when I force myself to watch it..but i see that I need to make some kind of compromise. I don't see anything wrong with him watching football, but between all the hours he works and the sports he watches, if I am not around then it's like we're strangers in the same house.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

If you have a laptop you can be their but still on your computer. My wife does a great job of asking me when the big game is coming up. Making a presence and doing the in and out thing. Sometimes she will watch quite a bit.

Oh and she will pick me up the team shirts when one of my teams is doing well. i.e. She brought me a Rangers shirt for them going to the Series. Very thoughtful.. Not something I would indulge on my own. Very supportive.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Zeldaforever said:


> I don't see anything wrong with him watching football, but between all the hours he works and the sports he watches, if I am not around then it's like we're strangers in the same house.


Then your issues go a lot deeper than football. It's a symptom of other problems. Care to expand?


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## Zeldaforever (Oct 16, 2011)

Amplexor said:


> Then your issues go a lot deeper than football. It's a symptom of other problems. Care to expand?


 Well, that's true. See my post on How can I let go of resentment toward my husband?
I am trying to change MY behavior though. I'm only in control of that. :/


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Zeldaforever said:


> Thanks for all the good advice! We have been married for 9 years, and I HAVE tried in the past to show interest in sports just to be supportive, but over the years the front has worn down and I just don't want to be around. I think if I feign to be interested in it at this point he'll know it's insincere. When his friends are over he doesn't notice if I am there or not anyway(in my mind). But I will try to make and effort to be there with HIM (sometimes)and at least not say negative things. I like the idea of getting a book and sitting there. I really just get so antsy and stressed out when I force myself to watch it..but i see that I need to make some kind of compromise. *I don't see anything wrong with him watching football, but between all the hours he works and the sports he watches, if I am not around then it's like we're strangers in the same house.*


This is a major problem. IMHO, couples need to make time for them togther first and then find time for other pursuits. So yes it is more important for you to make this effort, BUT he needs to reduce it down to a reasonable amount and find time with you.

Are you having data night at least once a week? This is very important to add to other time together. It needs to ab a real date and stress free fun time together.


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## Zeldaforever (Oct 16, 2011)

Entropy3000 said:


> This is a major problem. IMHO, couples need to make time for them togther first and then find time for other pursuits. So yes it is more important for you to make this effort, BUT he needs to reduce it down to a reasonable amount and find time with you.
> 
> Are you having data night at least once a week? This is very important to add to other time together. It needs to be a real date and stress free fun time together.



HA. I don't even remember the last time we had a date. I think it was about two years ago that we went on a camping trip without our daughter. Since then..no dates that I remember. We were going to on my birthday but I had to go out of state for an unexpected double funeral. we never made up for it.
I don't have a babysitter that lives close by so it makes it hard.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I started watching football just to be with my hubby, and now I am a huge fan. At first I liked to watch all those tight buns in tight pants jiggling around the field more than anything else, but as I learned more about the game I got more into it. We're both CFL fans, we go to Grey Cup every year together, we have seasons tix here at home and love going to the games together.

I think a lot of women feel excluded by their guy and so don't really take the time to learn about the sports their guy likes. Although my hubby also likes curling, and I draw the line at that. I have tried and tried, and I cannot for the life of me figure that game out. It's as exciting as watching paint dry.


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## Zeldaforever (Oct 16, 2011)

Hope1964 said:


> I started watching football just to be with my hubby, and now I am a huge fan. At first I liked to watch all those tight buns in tight pants jiggling around the field more than anything else, but as I learned more about the game I got more into it. We're both CFL fans, we go to Grey Cup every year together, we have seasons tix here at home and love going to the games together.
> 
> I think a lot of women feel excluded by their guy and so don't really take the time to learn about the sports their guy likes. Although my hubby also likes curling, and I draw the line at that. I have tried and tried, and I cannot for the life of me figure that game out. It's as exciting as watching paint dry.


I am pretty sure there is no danger of me becoming a fan of any sports. I have given it "the good ol' college try" but now, not so much. Probably the best I can do is occasionally sit with him for as long as I can take it. 
One of things that makes it hard for me is that although he has said several times that I should"come out of my dungeon(computer room)" and spend time with him, when I do sit there he's like a zombie. He doesn't talk much or even look at me. Most of the time, I wonder if he even knows I'm there. I'm getting mixed messages here.


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

Hope1964 said:


> I started watching football just to be with my hubby, and now I am a huge fan. At first I liked to watch all those tight buns in tight pants jiggling around the field more than anything else, but as I learned more about the game I got more into it.


This was why I started watching, not for my H, but for all the attractive sexy men, something about athletes  I was going to mention to the OP if you can find something you like about the game to try and watch a little with him, that could help. If you ultimately decide you don't understand the game/don't care/can't get into it, then at least you tried.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Zeldaforever said:


> I am pretty sure there is no danger of me becoming a fan of any sports. I have given it "the good ol' college try" but now, not so much. Probably the best I can do is occasionally sit with him for as long as I can take it.
> One of things that makes it hard for me is that although he has said several times that I should"come out of my dungeon(computer room)" and spend time with him, when I do sit there he's like a zombie. He doesn't talk much or even look at me. Most of the time, I wonder if he even knows I'm there. I'm getting mixed messages here.


Not all men are talkers, but need to be with thier woman. 

I am on computers a lot. It is my job. BUT, I can tell you that I ended up shutting down my marriage by working all of the time. Always on the computer. This was very bad. I has to make marriage my #1 priority. Is your marriage your #1 priority?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

The wife now watches the Phillies with me and we have also have a partial season ticket plan and go to the games as a family. I really enjoy having her there and she has gotten into the sport despite her initially not liking it. I also watch some her shows now with her, things like Supernatural and Project Runway. I enjoy them myself and get into the characters or we root together for a particular designer, etc.

The bottom line is that enjoying time together is the key- having separate lives got us nowhere fast.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> The wife now watches the Phillies with me and we have also have a partial season ticket plan and go to the games as a family. I really enjoy having her there and she has gotten into the sport despite her initially not liking it. I also watch some her shows now with her, things like Supernatural and Project Runway. I enjoy them myself and get into the characters or we root together for a particular designer, etc.
> 
> The bottom line is that enjoying time together is the key- having separate lives got us nowhere fast.


This is so true. My wife likes to go along to the baseball games on occasion. This can be a lot more fun for her than watching on TV.


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## artycupid (Jan 19, 2011)

OP we r 2 peas in a pod. My H brags that he has no off season for sports. his job isnt demanding so he watches it all day at work, will come home and watch any f his 5 sports tv packages til bedtime, thats IF he doesnt have a game to go to--he drives at least 2 hrs each way (w/o me) to see a game after work and cmes back well after 1am on a workday. He gambles, plays 5 fantasy leagues, and has season tickets to 3 sports teams. If i didnt sit in his sports basement with him, i would never see him.

I read a lot while he watches them. He bought me a kindle so I could.


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## Bobby5000 (Oct 19, 2011)

The key to a good marriage is compromise. Perhaps he can watch less games and you can see a few with him. 

My wife never liked sports but when our son played for his school team and they did well, she enjoyed it and many of our best memories are watching these games.


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## coldshoulder (Sep 27, 2011)

I'm not really into competitive sports...I will go to the odd game with buddies, but I don't "waste" hours watching games on the tube...my addiction is to cars, trucks, motorcycles, snowmobiles...but there are only two reasons that I try to include my wifey in my hobby...when I am thinking of making a purchase - I'm always hoping that she will at least go for a ride with me - or when she wants to get a new vehicle for herself...other than that, I understand that she has no interest...

she likes TV and reading...so we have a house with a theater room and I bought her an e-book reader...the downfall (not the right term, but you get the idea) is that we have to go on date nights periodically or we grow apart...

the date night thing is just getting started (I'm a little slow to recognize the separation...so now I am taking time to make an effort) I try to make sure that we go out together a few times a month...twice at minimum...it seems to be working...when we are out, I make sure we hold hands while we are talking...and I am staring at her face (sometimes hard, I really like her breasts  )...I just want her to see that I appreciate what I have, and not to feel like I would rather be somewhere else...I quite enjoy our nights out...

Later.


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