# Wife Never Happy for More Than a Day or Two



## Dad814 (Jan 17, 2012)

I have been with my wife for 9 years married for 6 and we have a seven-year-old boy. We have been having problems for the last three years. It all started after we moved into our home my wife and was finishing up her bachelor’s degree and she was having panic attacks in school. She was prescribed prozac and lorazapam for it and it seem to help. She graduate and started looking for work since the economy was so bad two years ago she was only able to find a part-time job at the college she graduated from. 

On her days off she would just get on the computer and do Facebook and all their games like Farmville, or she would sleep half the day away. I caught her a few times talking to her ex-boyfriends either online or texts and I forgave her for it. I started to get frustrated and complain because nothing would get done around the house, so then I would have to do laundry load the dishwasher and get my son to do his homework after 6pm when I got home from work which made for terrible evenings I dreaded coming home. I asked her to make our son do his homework as soon as he got home from school but he gave her a hard time so she gave up on that. The fighting got pretty bad and in my anger I said some hurtful things and vice versa. 

So one day out of the blue she stated she didn’t want to be married any longer so I asked why and she didn’t have an exact answer. She did say that we are fighting too much and that is understandable and I agreed that the fighting needs to stop and we should seek therapy. The first couple of sessions seem to go well the therapist was a bit hard on her regarding weather or not she wants to be married based on her actions or inaction and she took offense to that. We didn’t go back and the fighting started again, I love my wife and would do anything for her. I just don’t understand what going through her mind since she is all over the place. There was a lack of communication for too long and now she is really confused.

I went back to therapy and she went with me for the first session and the therapist ask her what is it about me that made her feel the way she does. So she told the therapist the issues and the therapist stated she could help me with my issues and she also asked her is she willing to make the marriage work for our sake and the sake of our son she agreed. I grew up in a single family home and it sucked and I didn’t want that for my boy. I’m getting my act together mentally, I have been taking Shotokan karate for a year now and I’m went from 191lbs to 175lbs, my wife on the other hand is struggling really bad with her weight lose efforts. I can’t mention how I’m doing or she gets upset, she says she just wants to be happy but I don’t think she knows how to be happy.

I suspect my wife has been unhappy with herself long before me, but when we meet I told her that I like you just the way you are. That seem ok for a while but after she had our son she gained so much weight that she became unhappy again. So I was kind of stern and told her to stop crying about the extra weight and do something about it. So she did! She got an elliptical machine and really worked out getting back to her high school weight, things were good and we got married. But when we moved into our home she gained the weight back and the problems began again. We still love each other and we still have sex not as often as I would like but it’s there and I’m not complaining. I just wish there was a way to make her happy, the more I try to make her happy the more she rejects the offer. 

At this point I am lost and confused and I don’t know how to get my marriage back on track, I welcome any advice at this point! :scratchhead:


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## CritterGal (Jan 23, 2012)

It is obvious your wife is going through a tough time. She probably feels inadequate considering she just finished school and cannot find a decent job. That can really get to someone. But I really wanted to point out somethings about you.

First you stated that you had to help your son with home work. Well last time I checked this is a normal part of parenting. I get that you work and bring home most of the bacon, but acting as if bringing home a paycheck is the most important thing you can do for your wife and son is not right. She has two jobs and so do you. If helping your son with home work makes you dread coming home at night then your wife is not the only one with issues. These people are not your job, they are your family. Treat them like they are.

When your child is acting out do not expect your wife to be soul disciplinarian. If your son gives either of you a hard time about anything you both should combat the situation together. Don't hang your wife out to dry like that. 

Your wife talking to an ex is should be squashed right away. You two are going through a rough patch and romanticizing about greener pastures is not conducive to fixing issues on the home front.


Your post leads me to believe that you and your wife live separate lives. What do you two do together. What do you do alone. She spends time on FB and FV or whatever. What are you doing? Video games, Football, poker? 
If you two live separate lives for the most part, how do you expect to coexist under the same roof? It's like having a stranger as a roommate. GET A LIFE TOGETHER! Some quality life. If all you two do is bicker and then go to therapy and point fingers when will you have time to enjoy each other?


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## Dad814 (Jan 17, 2012)

Dad814 said:


> I have been with my wife for 9 years married for 6 and we have a seven-year-old boy. We have been having problems for the last three years. It all started after we moved into our home my wife and was finishing up her bachelor’s degree and she was having panic attacks in school. She was prescribed prozac and lorazapam for it and it seem to help. She graduate and started looking for work since the economy was so bad two years ago she was only able to find a part-time job at the college she graduated from.
> 
> On her days off she would just get on the computer and do Facebook and all their games like Farmville, or she would sleep half the day away. I caught her a few times talking to her ex-boyfriends either online or texts and I forgave her for it. I started to get frustrated and complain because nothing would get done around the house, so then I would have to do laundry load the dishwasher and get my son to do his homework after 6pm when I got home from work which made for terrible evenings I dreaded coming home. I asked her to make our son do his homework as soon as he got home from school but he gave her a hard time so she gave up on that. The fighting got pretty bad and in my anger I said some hurtful things and vice versa.
> 
> ...





CritterGal said:


> It is obvious your wife is going through a tough time. She probably feels inadequate considering she just finished school and cannot find a decent job. That can really get to someone. But I really wanted to point out somethings about you.


[/QUOTE]First you stated that you had to help your son with home work. Well last time I checked this is a normal part of parenting. I get that you work and bring home most of the bacon, but acting as if bringing home a paycheck is the most important thing you can do for your wife and son is not right. She has two jobs and so do you. If helping your son with home work makes you dread coming home at night then your wife is not the only one with issues. These people are not your job, they are your family. Treat them like they are.[/QUOTE] First I have no problem helping my son with his homework but I get home well after he gets home from school so my hopes were to have him finish his homework as soon as he gets home from school not five minutes before bedtime, by that time he is exhausted and it doesn't help him. Let me be clear I don't dread coming home to my family I just don't like coming home to an upset kid and a frustrated wife.

[/QUOTE]When your child is acting out do not expect your wife to be soul disciplinarian. If your son gives either of you a hard time about anything you both should combat the situation together. Don't hang your wife out to dry like that.[/QUOTE] I can't help my wife disciplin my son if I'm not there to help her and yes when we are both present we BOTH support each other when disciplining him. 


[/QUOTE]Your wife talking to an ex is should be squashed right away. You two are going through a rough patch and romanticizing about greener pastures is not conducive to fixing issues on the home front.[/QUOTE] Tell me about it I can only request that she stop but I don't have the ability to police her on the internets nor so I want to. 


[/QUOTE]Your post leads me to believe that you and your wife live separate lives. What do you two do together.[/QUOTE] Nothing really she has no desire to do anything alone or with me although over the last three weeks we have been playing Wii sports together and we have been having a good time doing that.
[/QUOTE] What do you do alone.[/QUOTE] I take Shotokan Karate and she goes to Curves to to three times a week. [/QUOTE]She spends time on FB and FV or whatever. What are you doing? Video games, Football, poker?[/QUOTE] I use to play video games up until about three or four months ago. I didn't stop because she asked me too which she did not but I do get bored with videos from time to time. I study C++ programming sometime or I do laundry actually I do laundry all the time, varies other things peddling around the house. 
[/QUOTE]If you two live separate lives for the most part, how do you expect to coexist under the same roof?[/QUOTE] I wouldn't say we live two seperate lives because we do talk and such even when we are on the computer or playing video games.[/QUOTE] It's like having a stranger as a roommate. GET A LIFE TOGETHER! Some quality life.[/QUOTE] What do you mean or suggest?[/QUOTE] If all you two do is bicker and then go to therapy and point fingers when will you have time to enjoy each other?[/QUOTE] We haven't fought or bickered in almost two months, not sure if you know what therapy is like but there is no pointing fingers. I have told the absolute truth and I dont expect you to get the whole picture from just my side of the story, but it sure sounds like you are upset for some reason or another. I really do appreciate all your help though.


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