# Still Struggling



## LVS (Apr 5, 2010)

Hello everyone especially my old supportive friends, the most who accompanied me through my darkest situations "Uptown Turnera" 
It has been a while i didn't write any update. For who is interested to know more details about my story, i am going to provide a linc for my other thread. 
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/consid...ion/12611-28-years-marriage-what-ca-i-do.html

To make my story short, I got civil divorce in February 2011!
Since I am Catholic, I filed for annulment from the catholic church!

My exe doesn't believe in the civil divorce, for our religion we are still married, so he is still doing attempts every once in a while to bring me back to him. 
He said that he will never give up and that he has no life without me. 

Some updates before i get to what is happening now.

In a 3 hours recording, that he sent in March, on My S14 birthday, he asked my two daughters 24, and 19 to listen to it with me.It was all about adoring me and that i am a step below St Mary and I had right to do all what i did because of all what he done to me.... Now he got help and he saw the truth and he healed from his defective way of thinking and that he blames himself for everything.... At the end of the recording he said that if i didn't go back to him he is going to die, he said he doesn't need to kill himself but it is enough for him to stop his medications that he needs to take daily...

The following days he was trying to do nice things and send me romantic messages or romantic voice messages until the day i tried to talk to ask him to move on with his life and that what he is trying is not going to help... Then, he asked me to meet with him for the last ten minutes and after that he will disappear from my life and when i didn't accept to meet in person or if so to have my therapist the third partie, he flipped back to the bad side and said that all what i did was wrong and that he is trying to help me to think right but i am still brain washed by following liberal people and that i am not a catholic person if i was i would sacrifice myself for my kids and to bring back the family together but i am a self centered person and all what i care for is ME....


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Hold your course

You've done the right thing here

Your Ex needs help. Having you AND his children listen to a suicide threat just shows how sick he still is.

Inform other's in his family of this treat to harm himself. Let them worry about him. Do Not get pulled in again by this man!


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## LVS (Apr 5, 2010)

Last week on Monday April 23rd, I had a meeting with my exe suggested by the priest who is taking care of my annulment case. 
He asked me for this meeting a while ago and i said no but the priest said that my exe can make the annulment process last longer maybe for years if he doesn't want to cooperate. 
I agreed for this meeting but i told the priest that meeting with my exe won't make him cooperate because he wants me back and he asked for this meeting with a hope that you may help him to make me change my mind. But if you or/and me didn't meet his expectations he is going to flip to the bad side and also he won't cooperate and will make it last as long as he can! I agreed to meet just to proof my positive side and because i know what i am doing.
This is what happened, the meeting lasted for 3 hours, it ended when the priest didn't have time to stay longer. My exe said that he won't agree for them to take care of the case and he will send it to Rome....

In the meeting with the priest I had all the documentations that i needed to support every word i said.
The priest blamed him for not doing the marriage counseling when i was asking him to do it.
At the end, the priest said you both have one week to decide wither you want to stop the case and do marriage counseling or keep going with it. My exe then said that he wants the marriage counseling. I said what is it for? We have nothing to start with and i showed the priest a paper that shows healthy relationship factors and unhealthy relationship factors and that we don't have any of the healthy points all what we have is unhealthy.
I also showed him a paper that mentions the factors or elements in a relationship not conductive to couples therapy. we meet at least 3 of the 5 points.
1 One or both partners are unable or unwilling to address the problems; insists that the problem lies entirely within the other person.
2- One or both partners are physically ( and in some cases, *verbally*) violent with the other.
3- One or both partners have seriou psychiatric problems.

The priest insisted to give us this week to think about what we want to do

PS: My exe repeated in front of the priest that if i am not going back to him he is not going to survive until the annulment is over. He is going to stop taking his medications...
The priest told him for your sake you should not talk this way in front of the court, this is a negative point and they will think you are insecure and unstable... 

My exe also said that i have till the end of the month to decide after that he is going to be on the street because his lease contract ended and he can't afford to renew it.

This is what happened, on Monday 30, April he brought my S14 clothes and some groceries and left them by my apartment door. He called my son on the phone he told him that he is not going to see him again. And that he won't have a phone because he is in his car without a way to charge his phone.
Still his destination unknown....


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

I can't believe that he said he was going to stop taking the meds in fron of the priest and the priest didn't tell you that he saw your point!

Again, reach out to his family NOW and tell them that he's basically threatened to commit suicide.

Where do you live? In the US, we can make a call to authorities and they can detain someone for a minimum amount of time for a psych evaluation


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## LVS (Apr 5, 2010)

Thank you Toffer for your input and it is a good idea to tell his family about his suicidal threat. 

BTW on Tuesday I asked my D19 to let her uncle know that her father left to unknown destination. After she did her uncle sent a message to my kids saying:

"Dear nephew and nieces, I just heard about your dad. I feel so sad that it got to this. We all tried to help him. We did our best to support him and to make him accept his situation. His problem is he would not listen and he's always right.You guys do not blame yourself, you guys did your best, it's hard on you to. Your dad is grown man, just pray for him so God will protect him and guide him. I love you a lot and i'll always be here for you".


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

LVS,

At least you know that someone in your husband's family knows that your hubs issues are not because of you or your kids! 

I know the future will be hard for you during this process but please know that you are doing the right thing for yourself and your kids. With any luck, perhaps it will result in your husband getting the help he desperately needs


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