# Pregnant and considering divorce.



## Keisha Valme (Aug 14, 2017)

Hi all. I am very new here. I am currently 22 weeks pregnant and as the title say I am considering divorce. Basically my husband and I have been married 1 year and a half and it hasnt been the easiest marriage. We have our difficult times and we have out easier times. But its been a rocky road for us. Anyway, after our last wave of arguing he told me the marriage is dead. He doesnt believe in divorce and says we should stay together. But wants to do so as co parents of his son and our soon too be baby. I don't think this is the best idea. But there are some strong points to it. We won't have to go through the embarrassment of divorce, we can raise our family as one, he still wants to be able to have sex and so forth, dont have to "get back out there". I don't have to raise this baby by myself or part time with him. The other side is I know I want more kids. He said no more kids. I also want my baby to grow up around parents in love. Not with tension. And of course, there is nothing worse then being attached to someone who makes you feel alone at the same time. I'm torn. Right now I want to give him an ultimatum. I will stay with him if he wants to work on the marriage. But if he doesn't I want a divorce. I don't want to force him to be with me tho. What do you guys think?


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

I think that this arrangement can work for some. For me, it could never work. I would always feel lonely and like I don't matter. Only you can know If you will be happy with this arrangement. 

If your not ok with this arrangement you have to be prepared with what that means. The hard work it will take to restore the marriage, or the possibility of him leaving you. 

He says the marriage is dead but he wants to stay married and continue to have sex with you? Just you or will he have sex with other women? It sounds like he wants the good in the marriage but not the "bad". A lot of things that he probably thinks is "bad" is what women typically need to feel happy/secure/in love... like romance, respect, emotional support. It's up to you if you can be happy like this. One would have to be a very emotionally independent women to be ok with this, a women with little needs.


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## Magnesium (Jun 19, 2017)

Are you certain he is not seeing someone else? My first guess would be that he is having an affair. 

It sounds like he wants all the benefits of marriage without the parts he doesn't like. 

What do YOU want? Do you want to be married? To him?

What makes divorce embarrassing to you? Is it your family culture, or his?


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## Primrose (Mar 4, 2015)

You are deserving of a man who is in love with you. Who wouldn't be having duty sex with you. Who wouldn't FEEL like your roommate, but would feel like your lover and best friend all in one. You deserve to have as many children as your heart desires (and your finances allow). It has only been a year and a half. I'd say he's done you a favor in letting you know where he stands this early on. Yes, it still hurts, but you have the opportunity to move on. It is entirely possible to have a stable life as a single woman/mom. It's also entirely possible to have a cordial co-parenting relationship with your ex-spouse.


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