# Did anything good come out of your infidelity?



## Rugs (Apr 12, 2013)

So many sad stories and broken families, it's heartbreaking. 

Some of us, most likely the ones long past DDay, have gained some positive things. 

Share what you have gained from the experience or learned about yourself.

Maybe a stronger marriage, closer family relationship, a new wife/husbands, moved to a new city, money, a sense of well-being......

I think it helps some posters new to this forum to hear there sometimes is a light at the end of the tunnel.

If this is already an existing thread, moderators can delete or keep this as a fresh one.


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

Well it wasn't my infidelity, but my XWW's.

Yes some good things did come out of it. 
I divorced a toxic spouse.
I no longer live a lie. 
I no longer have a spouse putting my health at risk.
I have more money now than I did when I was married.
I have a better relationship with my kids.
I am happier now than I have been in years.


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## MSP (Feb 9, 2012)

To be pedantic, the good things come from the renewed effort and openness, rather than the infidelity. What a shame that sometimes people don't move in that direction earlier.


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

In the spirit of what I think the OP meant... yes we now have a more open, honest, transparent relationship. We also have a real appreciation for how fragile and special our relationship is. We realized that it is a prioriy and that it takes daily attention.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Much better boundaries


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## Rookie4 (Nov 26, 2012)

Nothing good ever happens because of adultery. Sometimes something good will happen , in spite of adultery.


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## convert (Oct 4, 2013)

yea much better boundaries.
and learned not to blindly trust


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

> Did anything good come out of your infidelity?


Like workindad, it wasn't my infidelity, but yes some positive things came out of it.

It woke me up to what kind of woman my x-wife is, hence I was able to make her my x-wife.

It also woke me up to the fact that I am way too trusting and took that which would have been red flags to others, and ignored them out of gullibility.

It also made me stronger with relationships. In that I no longer will play the role of lapdog or be so smitten by someone that I let them disrespect me.

So those were some good things. The infidelity itself was not a good thing to happen to me and I would not consider any real good to have come out of it other than the fact that I won't let it hurt me in the future.


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## wranglerman (May 12, 2013)

It came good my end and she learned a bunch too.

A lot of heart ache and stress, as hard as it was to take and as hard as it is to continue to try I do because now she understands what was going wrong and why, communication is better and there is a greater showing of her affections and openness.

She had a hard time growing up and was never allowed to grow as a person and as a result has often an immature and adolescent outlook on things, our communication has broken through a lot of this and she now understands where we are in this life together.

She knows out is only a wrong move away!!!


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## brokeneric (Jan 27, 2014)

I felt emotions that I didn't know existed. If that can be taken as something good.


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## wranglerman (May 12, 2013)

brokeneric said:


> I felt emotions that I didn't know existed. If that can be taken as something good.


In order to fully appreciate lifes high points you must also endure some of lifes low points, this brings an equilibrium and allows you to know the full spectrum of emotions.

Would be nice to know without getting the heart ripped out though I must admit.


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## Allen_A (Nov 18, 2013)

Any "gains" that may follow infidelity aren't because of infidelity, but despite it.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

Allen_A said:


> Any "gains" that may follow infidelity aren't because of infidelity, but despite it.


That is he best way to put it right here :smthumbup:


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## Fenix (Jul 2, 2013)

Freedom from living a mirage.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Good like having a gangrenous leg cut off.

The eventual airing of the sick behavior led to our divorce after a marathon of fighting and false recover.

I am about to marry someone i met a year ago, life is good for me.

My ex? Moved 1500 miles away from anyone who knows her, including her kids. She can't face herself and her terrible cheating ways.


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## paul72 (Jan 22, 2013)

For me I dealt with a true narc in my ex..... some crazy stories there.... but yeah I discovered a lot of things about myself... and if i ever faced that situation again I'll be far more prepared to know how to handle it


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