# Work Husband/Work Wife



## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Anyone else ever use these phrases with their spouse. My wife has used the phrase work wife with me many times refering to a friend of mine at work. That friend from work has become like my best friend over the years. Once in a birthday card she even signed it, from your work wives. I think the phrase itself is funny, just curious as to what others think.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

I think.... hell mofo no! I would not be ok with that ever... not with my spouse and his co workers... but that is just me. He also wouldn't be ok with it if I referred to a co worker as a "work husband".
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

I have heard other people use it and I would absolutely not use it with anyone nor would I appreciate my spouse doing it, even jokingly, it implies a deeper relationship then a coworker. And with affairs so commonplace these days I don't think even joking about it is funny.


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## jfv (May 29, 2012)

I think its disrespectful to attach that label to anyone other than the person who has committed themselves to you. It doesn't matter if you qualify it with the word 'work'. If anything it implies that you are splitting yourself in two and are in effect being shared.
I wouldn't stand for it.


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## Writer (Aug 3, 2012)

I can take a good joke, and even laugh when i do something silly. However, this speaks of disrespect. Disrespect is one of those things that I won't tolerate in my marriage. My husband only has *1* wife. Me. As a term of endearment, I would be extremely uncomfortable with it. The title sounds inappropriate.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Not a chance. The only wife my husband has is *ME*. The only husband I have is *HIM*. It is disrespectful to refer to anyone else as a spouse other than your actual spouse (LTR applies as a spouse IMO). 

That brings me to another thing that grates.... people referring to their friends as "the wife" or "the husband" You're not married, stop calling them that! My cousin and her girl friends call each other their "wifey" all the time. It's irritating.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

I have to say I am a little shocked at how serious this is taken. I know I have heard a few others at work use these terms as well. It's just something that is thrown out there because we spend so much time at work and work closely with these people. They are like family at times, and if not family they can be very close friends.


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## jfv (May 29, 2012)

The reason it is taken seriously is that the term implies a level of intimacy and closeness that is potentially harmful to the primary relationship. If they are like family then the term 'work brother' or 'sister' should be more appropriate and I'm sure would not get a negative reaction from the spouse.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

gbrad, I skimmed through some of your posts... I think it is safe to say there is a lot more going on than just the work wife/work husband thing.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

jfv said:


> The reason it is taken seriously is that the term implies a level of intimacy and closeness that is potentially harmful to the primary relationship. If they are like family then the term 'work brother' or 'sister' should be more appropriate and I'm sure would not get a negative reaction from the spouse.


:iagree::iagree:
I have friends who I consider to be like family... but more like cousins or siblings or even parent figures/aunts and uncles. But never would I refer to any of them as a spouse.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Maricha75 said:


> gbrad, I skimmed through some of your posts... I think it is safe to say there is a lot more going on than just the work wife/work husband thing.


It has nothing to do with that. This is a separate comment altogether. My wife has used this phrase for years, she is actually the one who first said it (saying I had a work wife), not me. She started saying it, so she obviously has no problems with the phrase itself.


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## xena74 (May 5, 2012)

Guess i'm odd women out! 
My DH and I both call my assistant at work my "work husband". He and I spend 13hrs a day together, and we argue about trivial things, talk about our marriages and kids, when one has a bad day, so does the other. 

It's not meant to be disrespectfull, and Dh thinks its funny and actually came up with that pharse for him, not me.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Does the W have a work Husband too?


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

gbrad said:


> It has nothing to do with that. This is a separate comment altogether. My wife has used this phrase for years, she is actually the one who first said it (saying I had a work wife), not me. She started saying it, so she obviously has no problems with the phrase itself.


She may have said the phrase because she does not like what is going on. I used the phrase once when my husband and a female coworker of his were too close for my liking and I wanted to bring it to his attention. It does not mean she is ok with it just because she has said it.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

xena74 said:


> Guess i'm odd women out!


Nope. It's a very common term where I work. My wife uses the term too but we're at the same office 2 or 3 days a week. Actually she does say "Work Wife When I'm Not There". We have talked about it and wife has said "Sally" would be first on the radar. She works more closely with "Sally" than I do. No worries though.

She doesn't really have a work husband as there are fewer men there.


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## Frostrose (Aug 1, 2012)

No way in hell.


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## Love Song (Jan 16, 2012)

I wouldn't have a problem using the term work husband. It depends on the person and who I use it around (wouldn't want to say around someone who would take it the wrong way and use it to gossip). But I know my husband would never be ok with it. Those types of things are sacred to him (endearments) so for that reason I wouldn't use it. Out of respect for him.


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## jfv (May 29, 2012)

love song, would you have a problem with your husband refering to someone as his 'work wife' ?


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## lou (Apr 22, 2011)

Women at my work use this a lot and it makes me super uncomfortable. 

I get the parallels on some levels, I do take "care" of my boss, in terms of getting him lunch and coffee sometimes, I remember appointments for him, make him look good... Like I would do for a spouse. But the "work wife" phrase implies way too much intimacy. Creeps me out.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Anonymous07 said:


> She may have said the phrase because she does not like what is going on. I used the phrase once when my husband and a female coworker of his were too close for my liking and I wanted to bring it to his attention. It does not mean she is ok with it just because she has said it.


Well she has continued to use the phrase for years now. Has never mentioned that it bothers her. She even has referred to her work husband or work boyfriend at times.


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## Feelingdown (Aug 13, 2012)

Wiki - A husband is a male lifetime partner...

Enough said.


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## Feelingdown (Aug 13, 2012)

What makes it worse is that it sounds like it's a term used if you get on like a house on fire with a colleague who is of the opposite sex...


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Feelingdown said:


> What makes it worse is that it sounds like it's a term used if you get on like a house on fire with a colleague who is of the opposite sex...


what?


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## geek down (May 10, 2012)

I have a work wife.. His name is G..He makes me breakfast every weekend we work....


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## galian84 (May 7, 2012)

Wouldn't be okay with this at all...I feel like it's disrespectful to the actual husband / wife, the person who committed themselves to you. In that vein, why is there no work girlfriend / boyfriend, or work brother / sister, as someone mentioned earlier?

This would not fly with me.


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## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> gbrad, I skimmed through some of your posts... I think it is safe to say there is a lot more going on than just the work wife/work husband thing.


Gotta say that I agree. In your case, it might be wise to put a lot of distance between yourself and your "work wife" because you're disconnected from your actual wife to such an extent that you're hindering your own happiness and I can bet your "work wife" has more to do with it than you realize. 

In my opinion it is far too familiar a label and dangerous because it will lead you into emotional affair territory. Only your actual spouse should be your spouse of any kind and no one else should be as close to you. Blurred boundary lines get really confusing and can creep up on us sometimes.


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## AMDC (Feb 7, 2013)

I dont like this phrase after what happened to my friend. Her husband slept with his work wife....not good at all. It used to be a joking matter before but now a days most affairs begin at the work place and i dont want to risk my marriage.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

I used to call my XH's admin his work wife. She was his right hand person, very loyal and trustworthy. He trusted her more than pretty much anyone else he knew, and so did I. I was glad he had someone so reliable to help him out, as his job was very stressful.


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## DangerousCurves (Jul 18, 2012)

lol Yes I have heard of the phrase. I use to work with a couple who use to call each other their work wife/husband. Their spouses knew about it and were okay with it. If you could see them it was pretty funny because it was like watching an old married couple all the time at work. The way they would tease each other and "fight" made costumers think they were married. It's not usual for this type of relationship to develop when two people have been working together for so long. I think it's actually quite common.


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## DangerousCurves (Jul 18, 2012)

I think people forget that you spend more time with the people you work with than your own family (in most cases), so yes... closeness does develop especially if you've worked together for a long time. Doesn't mean cheating is involved.


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## in my tree (Jun 9, 2012)

gbrad said:


> I have to say I am a little shocked at how serious this is taken. I know I have heard a few others at work use these terms as well. It's just something that is thrown out there because we spend so much time at work and work closely with these people. They are like family at times, and if not family they can be very close friends.


Fair enough but if they are like family then why not call them "work sister" or "work cousin"? Why "wife"? The inference of a "wife" is that of an intimate, possibly sexual relationship.


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