# Marriage after divorce



## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

I would like to hear from those that have gone on to a second or more marriage after divorce.

What was the time from after divorce to marriage?
Were there kids involved?
What ages were you?
Was your new partner similar or different to your ex?

Mr H and I have been together for just over 2 years. Both from divorces after 20 year relationships. Both have kids.

I never thought I would ever want to get married again but I love this man enough to consider marriage with him. We have discussed it and fortunately are both on the same page, we want to see at least the older of the kids finished Secondary and into University. So it would be 4 plus years before we really considered marriage.

Life is so different for me with Mr H. We are both very open and communicative and our core beliefs are very similar. Neither of us would rush into marriage so the time frame sits well for both.

Either way we are committed to each other and to building a future together and heading into the next phase of our lives. Part of me wants to think about marriage in the future and the other part says to forget it. 
I generally think marriage is better for men than women especially in middle age so this plays on my mind. 

Would love to hear others experiences.


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## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

Holland said:


> I generally think marriage is better for men than women especially in middle age so this plays on my mind.


Huh? Can you elaborate on that?


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Holland said:


> What was the time from after divorce to marriage?
> Were there kids involved?
> What ages were you?
> Was your new partner similar or different to your ex?
> ...


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Thanks for the replies. 

2gals I will look at links shortly, thanks.

MBH thanks for your information on your situation. My partner is very different to my ex in so many ways, finally I have worked out that he is the right type of man for me. At first I could see the similarities between he and the ex (all positive, caring, good values, good parent etc) now I am amazed at the differences, things that in hindsight were missing from my past marriage, he is a communicator with a very high EQ, has a high sex drive and other qualities that are important to me.

As for my thoughts on marriage being better for men, it is more to do with being looked after. I have done the housewife thing, raised babies into young adults. I have looked after my family for so many years and even though the men in my life have been great men, helpful etc the majority of this role generally falls on women. Heading into middle age and beyond I have no desire to do this. Mr H is wonderful, he helps a lot but I am just being protective of myself and want to make sure that carrying the load is equal.
I tend to do more for people that do not expect it so all is good ATM, I just want to make sure that this continues. Maybe none of this makes sense, it helps me though to write about it.


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