# my wife is terrified of her pregnancy.what do i do to help her???



## Randy1 (Dec 10, 2011)

My girl is 24 and i am 35.we got married a year ago and now shes a month pregnant ,i have my five year old daughter from my first marriage.
But ever since shes got pregnant she is terrified of thinking about the pain caused during childbirth.she asked me various questions about it and was actually quite upset to hear that its a bit painful.especially about the C section.
shes really terrified about it and is thinking a lot about it.
I dont want her to take any kind of stress as she had a mild case of polycystic ovaries and the doctor has said that she needs a lot of care since her pregnancy is a sensitive case and has to remain completely stress free.
the doctor also said that shes rather delicate and fragile and needs to be mentally and physically strong but she is stressing too much.
what i can do to help her get over it????
i dont want her to think much about it.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

What does your wife do to keep herself busy? Is she home buy herself all the time? She obsessing and I wonder if she's got a lot of time on her hands.

Find things to do with her that are healthy and relaxing. Walking is the first thing that comes to mind. It is very healthy for a pregnant woman to walk a lot. First off it calms a person down as it causes endorphans to flow. It makes a woman stronger and makes labor go much easier.

You might want to talk to her doctor about this as there are things that pregnant woman can do to help calm themselves.

Yea the pain of delivery is high. But once most women see their baby they don't really care about it. 

He doctor can also tell her about things they can do to relieve the pain during delivery.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

It's somewhat natural to be afraid.

But now, with meds, it can be basically painfree and by the time she's ready to give birth, she will be READY. OMG. You don't even care. You just want that baby OUT. The body takes over and even produces its own pain 'meds'. 

Take birthing classes. Those helped me with my first.

And tell her that the relief of birth erases almost all of the pain. Best feeling ever was when the baby was finally out. Oooh sweet release!!


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## Lydia (Sep 4, 2011)

I was going to suggest birthing classes too... She should research it, learn more about all the methods. You just need to support her. Does she have any friends or know anyone who's had kids before? Perhaps hearing their (mostly positive and encouraging) experiences may help her.


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## Akinaura (Dec 6, 2011)

It is completely natural to fear to a certain extent the pain that labor will involve. 

I speak as a woman who has given birth WITH a chronic pain condition. I was under the same advice from my OB/GYN, of having as least stressful of a time as I could, since I had to come off ALL my medications for pain. A good book to help is "What to Expect When You're Expecting" (I think that's the title). It describes everything that her body will go through, as well as covering pregnancies that involve other health conditions. This book nearly fell apart during my pregnancy because I read it so often!

Another thought to help calm her fears is to start working on a birth plan. Make her research all the parts to it, so that she knows everything about everything. It will help to "occupy" her.


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## NotSoSureYet (Nov 10, 2011)

It is very natural to have some fears about the pain at the end. Just let her know - and this is coming from a woman that DID NOT get an epidural (I am proud of that, although some think I'm crazy for it) - no matter what kind of pain she endures throughout the birthing process, as soon as that baby is in her arm, she won't remember 1/2 of what it felt like. I believe that my mind actually closed that pain door after I was done. I don't remember a lot of those hard labor hours. (but there is a video that let's me know I was cussing quite often) 
Also, one thing that got me through it easier is knowing that women have been giving birth naturally since the beginning of time. It is a lot less stressful now than it was 50 years ago when they would sometimes strap women down to the bed so they couldn't move. Tell her to take advantage of the big birthing (exercise) ball if she can. That position is a great relief. Definitely go to the birthing class that the hospital offers. And DAD........you HAVE TO BE SUPPORTIVE AND THERE FOR HER!! Good Luck!! Tell her she will do GREAT!


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## Michelle27 (Nov 8, 2010)

The thing with childbirth pain is that it's a totally different kind of pain, if that makes sense. It's pain with a positive purpose, not like the pain of a broken arm, upset stomach or something like that. I delivered both of my girls without any pain meds and I consider myself to have a low pain threshold. I had a different mindset about childbirth pain because I just knew that my body knew what to do and I trusted it. I thought of each contraction as waves and I imagined myself riding that wave to avoid fighting it. Fighting the pain can cause labor to stall and lead to more medical interventions that are usually unwanted.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

It is natural to be afraid of the unknown, but the one thing that was told to me when I was pregnant is that women have babies every day! We are strong and we can do it (otherwise God would have intended for men to have them :lol: ). 

Just tell her that she is going to be fine. Natural childbirth or C-section, she will be ok either way. The drs. will take GREAT care of her throughout the entire pregnancy, and I'm sure you will, too.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

FrenchFry said:


> Birthing classes!
> 
> (Sup natural birth ladies!)


:lol: Yes birthing classes are very helpful. Labor pain is painful, but nothing that she can't handle. Just be sure you get her to the hospital asap when she goes into labor. Then once she gets the meds she needs for pain, it'll be smooth sailing. 

It was for me anyway. I slept the whole night at the hospital after getting my meds, pain free. My Mom and Husband were up all night watching my labor monitor.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Luckily for technology and pain medicine, having a child can be pain free with the epidural. I delivered my first child naturally, the other two with an epidural. With the epidural, it was 100% pain free. 

Pain is nothing to be afraid of. I broke my neck 4 years ago and ever since then I've had to deal with severe neck pain 24/7 these last 4 years. Sometimes the pain is worse then giving childbirth if I overdo things. I feel like a prisoner in my own body. 

Congratulations to you and your wife. Good luck with the new baby.  Being pregnant and going through childbirth is the easy part. Raising them for the next 18 years is what is challenging, but well worth it. I love my 3 girls and could not imagine life without them.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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