# 6 weeks pregnant and just found out my husband is talking to another woman



## emh914 (Nov 9, 2014)

I am six weeks pregnant and just found out my husband is talking to another woman. It hasn't gotten sexual, but they text all day everyday. (Even met up for coffee once). And when I begged him to stop texting he did. When looked at his phone when he feel asleep, they have been emailing. I am so broken. I never ever thought he would do this to me. It almost seems like he is obsessed with her. He goes back and forth about weather or not he wants to work on things with me. I do. I feel so lost without him. He's my best friend. We already have a two year old together. Just bought a house. I am so lost. He finally said they stopped talking. It's really hard to trust him. So many lies. All I do is cry. I can't eat, can't sleep, and even feels hard to breath sometimes. Anyone been through something similar or have any advice? Thank you so much in advance...


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

emh914 said:


> I am six weeks pregnant and just found out my husband is talking to another woman. It hasn't gotten sexual, but they text all day everyday. (Even met up for coffee once). And when I begged him to stop texting he did. When looked at his phone when he feel asleep, they have been emailing. I am so broken. I never ever thought he would do this to me. It almost seems like he is obsessed with her. He goes back and forth about weather or not he wants to work on things with me. I do. I feel so lost without him. He's my best friend. We already have a two year old together. Just bought a house. I am so lost. He finally said they stopped talking. It's really hard to trust him. So many lies. All I do is cry. I can't eat, can't sleep, and even feels hard to breath sometimes. Anyone been through something similar or have any advice? Thank you so much in advance...


Check your legal standing, ask your husband for marital counselling.

Be vigilant, try to stay well for baby and you.


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## Rugs (Apr 12, 2013)

Personally' I think you only have one good shot on keeping your husband. 

You need to get mad and file for divorce immediately. Tell him you're not going to take his Sh!t and if this is how he acts as a husband, you can find another man to help raise your child. 

Fake it until you make it. Be totally serious and don't even talk to him at all. 

People respect partners that won't take their Sh!t. Your husband will not respond to crying and begging, he will respond to his a$$ kicked to the curb. 

Once he sees what he is about to lose, he will wake up. 

Start right now. Get mad. Tell him you want a divorce and his wh0re can have him. 

Sit back and watch how fast he changes his tune.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Rugs said:


> Personally' I think you only have one good shot on keeping your husband.
> 
> You need to get mad and file for divorce immediately. Tell him you're not going to take his Sh!t and if this is how he acts as a husband, you can find another man to help raise your child.
> 
> ...



This. If you act like his doormat your marriage is over..... at least any worthwhile marriage. Cry in private, people who cry and beg are unattractive. Tell him you don't care if he wants to work on your marriage because you want him out, and his wh0re can have him. Your marriage might be salvaged if you play hardball right now.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

Expose. Expose to all. Family, friends, everyone. Have a pan.

Keep the evidence, don't let him delete it. Make copies, email yourself.


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## 101Abn (Jan 15, 2014)

Excellent advice from all the posters above,especially the lawyer part.show him divorce papers and hope he craps his panse.(let him clean it up).best of luck to you.6 months pregnant and putting you through this.that is be and don't you take it.follow above reccomendations.


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## Rugs (Apr 12, 2013)

Rugs said:


> Personally' I think you only have one good shot on keeping your husband.
> 
> You need to get mad and file for divorce immediately. Tell him you're not going to take his Sh!t and if this is how he acts as a husband, you can find another man to help raise your child.
> 
> ...



But......, do you really want a husband like this? If not, the advice is still the same only you actually follow through with the divorce. Trust me, it will calm you down when HE is crying and begging.


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

So sorry you are here, but glad you found us. The advice you are going to get is going to sound harsh. And it is. But it's also good, sound and proven.

Your husband is showing you who he is. You can either crumple into a weak little pregnant woman and "hope" or you can get mad and demand he focus only on the marriage and not courting a woman on the side. 

Demand he stay no contact with her, or you kick him out. Check with a lawyer in your state, but chances are he will be legally responsible to support you and his children financially. 

This should scare the sh1t out of him. His reaction will speak volumes, so pay attention.


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## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

No, you can't trust him.

He has already broken your trust.

Now is the time to focus on you and improve your circumstance.

He won't be a willing partner right now in your relationship, because he is stuck in the infatuation stage of romance. That stage is an addiction.

Usually exposing the affair can break it. 

Is the other woman married?

You have to detach, and have a support system around you, so you can move on if needed.

Can you still work?

You may have to secretly moniter him, and hide your hand. 

Keep your cards close on what you are doing, and try not to expose your hand to your opponent, which is your husband.

Seek neutral. Emotions will cloud your judgement. Be proactive and not reactive. 

Set yourself up for success.

That means not matter what happens, you will turn out okay.


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## IIJokerII (Apr 7, 2014)

Q tip said:


> Expose. Expose to all. Family, friends, everyone. Have a pan.
> 
> Keep the evidence, don't let him delete it. Make copies, email yourself.


 Yes, this must be done, multiplied by 1000, to the 3rd power!! 

Ok, I know you probably don't want to even entertain the idea but you must remain calm for the Childs sake. I know this is much harder than anyone would care to accept but the stress and lack of rest and nourishment will cause even more problems. Please do what you can in spite of you Richard Headed husband.

What you are, or hopefully were going thru is called emotional abuse and as you can see it has an effect on the body. If this is or you feel will continue to get to a level of a stress you cannot tolerate then make preparations to leave immediately. You can always return to the relationship provided changes are made and efforts on his part are beyond what is needed to be done to repair this debacle. Resist any notion otherwise you may get back in return. But for now you need rest, a comfortable environment and a support system. Once you're set up and regrouped you'll be ready to kick some a55.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

I know it sounds counterintuitive, and you're scared to 'push him away,' but we've seen hundreds of marriages just like yours. The only thing cheating husbands understand is the threat of losing their marriage, and all that entails. You control this. Tell him to hand over his electronics to prove he's no longer contacting her. If he refuses, tell him you'll see a lawyer tomorrow, then.


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## Devastated an lost (Oct 29, 2014)

If it has gone that far they are on their way to a full blown A I am going through that now & that's how it started. If you put up with that kind of treatment that's how you will always be treated. Put a stop to it now or you will wish you had. Good luck to you..


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## emh914 (Nov 9, 2014)

I am so glad I found this awesome group of people. I am really really really struggling. I am struggling because we have been together for 8 years. I am pregnant with his child. But I feel differently about him now. My trust is completely shot. I cry. All I do is cry. I try not to let him see me cry. I miss what we use to have. I miss him. I don't miss who he is now. I am not sure I want a divorce and I am not sure I want to be with him. I am scared. I can't remember a time I have been so scared. And I feel like I have no one to lean on. I am trying to figure out what to so... This is without a doubt the hardest thing I have ever been through in my entire life... ð¢


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

emh, let him see you cry. It's the best thing you can do, outside of exposing the affair to his parents and siblings. Have you told them yet? Do it today. It's the only way to stop the affair.


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## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

Your going to have to find the courage.

If you expose to friends and family, with all critical eyes looking at 

Abandoning his pregnant wife and child, people would turn away from him, and paints him in a poor light.

He would be under heavy scrutiny.

In the mean time, work on yourself and find a support system, even if that means moving back to where family is.

Create an exit strategy just in case.

Without a plan, you are left vulnerable.

Do this in secret.

Detach, and I know it is hard since your carrying his child.

What your doing is best for them.

Wish you the best of luck, and find all the support you need.

Friends,, family, therapy, and here on tam.im, the shame may break the fog that he is in.


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## emh914 (Nov 9, 2014)

Should I really offer up the D word? or the papers? I am trying to make this work for our family. The fact that they didnt sleep together and the fact that they only talked for 2 weeks, that means something, right? Right now I am totally disgusted by him. However, I am scared to dealth to be alone. I cant raise two kids by myself... I have started to see a therapsist. And people that I have talked to say that I just cant quit this. That I have to give it a solid effort. I really dont know what to do. Never in a million years at the age of 31 did I think I would be going through this. Part of me only thinks that he is trying to make this work is because I am pregnant. I feel SOOOOO lost. So broken. What do I do!?


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## yeah_right (Oct 23, 2013)

Exposing and using the D word really helped pull my H's head out of his a$$. The key with the D word is you have to really mean it...or be a super actress so he believes it. I meant it. He knew it. Also, the fun seemed to go out of it when his parents found out and I informed the OWH.

But my case is different. I was not pregnant. And first trimester! The stress on your body and on the baby is tremendous. I'm not even sure how I'd react in that situation. I am so sorry!


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

The important question is what effort is HE making? If he isn't suffering a consequence, he will just cheat again. Do you have all his passwords? Are you checking his phone and computer regularly and seeing no contact with other women? Is he going to therapy with you? Has he written a no contact letter to the OW? You have the right to demand these things of him. You have the power here, ok? You have the power to tell him do these things or move out, and my lawyer will tell you how much you're gonna have to pay in child support.


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