# Not to debate, but...



## rumandcoke (Jul 25, 2012)

Hello everyone. I havent posted my story cause I am just a mess right now. My wife dropped the D-Bomb last sunday and is moving out by Friday.

I have scoured the internet and found this site. I see a common response of, dont write love letters dont show emotion. But how is that possible? I feel if i dont write those letters or have those conversations that I left something unsaid that maybe could alter the decision.

It is apparent confidence and steadiness is attractive, but what if you dont want to do those games? What if she precieves the New and Improved rumandcoke as moved on, as if i dont care and in turn she moves on.

Someone verbally slap me...


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## Frostflower (Jul 22, 2012)

rumandcoke said:


> Hello everyone. I havent posted my story cause I am just a mess right now. My wife dropped the D-Bomb last sunday and is moving out by Friday.
> 
> I have scoured the internet and found this site. I see a common response of, dont write love letters dont show emotion. But how is that possible? I feel if i dont write those letters or have those conversations that I left something unsaid that maybe could alter the decision.
> 
> ...


I don't know that anything you could say would change her mind, but maybe what you show could. I think the reasoning behind the advice you see in this forum is that seeing you as emotional and needy could actually push her further away. She could see you as someone to get away from. If you can show her that you are a person who is strong and in control of his life, it is more attractive. She may become intrigued and want to learn more about this person. I don't see it as showing that you don't care, but as showing her that you are a better person than she thinks. 

it may help you to write those letters. Just don't send them.

Good luck.


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## Acorn (Dec 16, 2010)

rumandcoke said:


> My wife dropped the D-Bomb last sunday and is moving out by Friday.
> 
> It is apparent confidence and steadiness is attractive, but what if you dont want to do those games? What if she precieves the New and Improved rumandcoke as moved on, as if i dont care and in turn she moves on.


OK, well first, she's already moved on and is done perceiving you. She's made her decision.

Being confident isn't supposed to be a show for her benefit. If she didn't exist, you would live your life confidently and attractively for your own sake (with the added benefit that some women may find it attractive too). That's the general advice.

If she finds your new confident, attractive self appealing, she may then be open to perceiving you as different.


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## Dadwithtwolittlegirls (Jul 23, 2012)

What do you think happened to get it to this point.. Give us some background


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

You need to provide background information on your situation.


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## lulubelle (Jun 28, 2012)

Acorn said:


> OK, well first, she's already moved on and is done perceiving you. She's made her decision.
> 
> Being confident isn't supposed to be a show for her benefit. If she didn't exist, you would live your life confidently and attractively for your own sake (with the added benefit that some women may find it attractive too). That's the general advice.
> 
> If she finds your new confident, attractive self appealing, she may then be open to perceiving you as different.


that's it in a nutshell (no pun acorn  ) if she wants space give her space.... lots of it.


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