# Unsure of what to do...



## DandS (May 8, 2010)

My wife and I have been married for over 3 years now, and we dated for some time before that (a few years), but now she feels as though we married too young, or at least she did. I recently returned home from a TDY (for non military is like a business trip) that was over a month long. Last night she was crying in our room and told me that she feels like I cheated her out of her self-development. We have a son, and I never govern her, I have babysat over several weekends (my only time off) so she could have time to herself. She explained that her ideal first marraige would've been to someone she didn't love but could come home to sex. She said our marriage is the second marriage she would have wanted. 
I don't really know what to do. This talk is breaking me down. I don't know if its her anxiety/depression that make her resent her situation or if its something I did. She says she was just so happy when she could go do whatever while I was gone, but I don't stop her from going places she wants to go. I can't support a teenage (she's now in her 20's) social life in a marriage. I don't even know how to tell her that she's deeply hurt me, my marriage and family are the two achievements in my life that I have all my pride in. I pretended that what she was saying wasn't bothering me, but now I can barely sleep. It would've been better if she could be specific with what she wants, but she just said "I can't explain it". Any advice? I love her very much and want to always keep her happy, but what do I do now?


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

DandS said:


> She explained that her ideal first marraige would've been to someone she didn't love but could come home to sex. She said our marriage is the second marriage she would have wanted.
> 
> I don't even know how to tell her that she's deeply hurt me, my marriage and family are the two achievements in my life that I have all my pride in. I pretended that what she was saying wasn't bothering me, but now I can barely sleep.


try to show her how her words affect you. its not healthy for you to bottle it all up and pretend she's not hurting you. let her see how what she's doing is affecting you.

and secondly, she wants more sex. that is obvious. it sounds like she's not ready to grow up.


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