# past problems



## thompss (Aug 31, 2010)

Can anyone advise me. I have been married for 14 years and spent the first 12 of those drinking heavily. In October 2008 after another heavy drinking session my husband gave me the choice to stop drinking or the marriage was over.Throughout those twelve years I caused so many problems for my husband that i was lucky he did not leave me then. I have been off the drink completely for the last 20 months and our relationship went from strength to strength or so i believed. Last friday when he came home my husband told me that he no longer loves me and as not done so for the last 20 months, and he wants a divorce asap. I did not see any signs that this was coming as our relationship was really good and we hadn't even argued since i stopped drinking. He as booked two holidays for us and the children and was even looking around new houses with me before the sudden announcment. I'm totally shocked and don't know what to do.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

His behavior is actually really common. He spent all those years thinking, and telling you, that if you'd just stop drinking everything would be ok. So you stopped and he was glad because he thought things would be good. But thats not how it works. Things wont be OK for at least another twelve years. 

I think you should respect that he wants to leave and not try to convince him otherwise. He's been through a lot and now he wants some peace for himself. Give him some space and work on yourself. If you keep up the progress he will see that you really can change and maybe he will want to come back.


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