# Broken



## Tx Gal (11 mo ago)

Here it is....we met when we were 15 and 16 years old, he was a basketball star in high-school and had a very promising future ahead of him. I loved him with every inch of my self and poured everything I had into us. All while he had cheated countless times in high-school and in college. I couldn't keep up with how many times I caught him in the most stupidest of ways. We had our daughter in 2008 and our son in 2009, he had another daughter born just 3 months before our son in 2009 which he still to this day has zero contact with. I stayed and continued to be by his side no matter what the cost, I was a young mother of 2 under 2 and was determined to keep my family in tact. We got married in 2010. Fast forward a few 
years later to when we packed up and moved back home after he dropped out of college and threw away his dreams of playing ball. We moved back in with family and did the best we could with what we had all while I was going through post pardum depression after i had my son and I kept that hidden from everyone until years later. The cheating never stopped, fast forward to today.... he's been sleeping on the couch and told me he tired of not being number 1! And will no longer reach out to me and will start distancing himself from me. Told me I will always be miserable- which he is probably right. I work a full time job (always have) trying to stay strong for my now 13 and 12 year old but I'm struggling to keep my head above water. I'm broken, I'm tired, I'm hurt, I'm mad. There's a part of me who wants him to come to his senses and tell me he's sorry for everything he's ever done to me and is willing to work on us no matter the cost. But then the other part of me is ready to let go of this loveless relationship and ready to take my life back, put me first! But where do I begin? How and where do I start?


----------



## QuietGuy (Aug 31, 2021)

It is good that you are near family and friends so you have people that you can lean on for support. You are in this situation because you accepted his actions. You taught him how he could treat you from the beginning. You get your life back by divorcing him and strictly limiting communication with him to necessary things about the divorce and your children. Read up on the 180 and implement it. Divorce takes a while, but you can separate right away. Be firm and do not engage in any non essential communication. Do not listen to any promises he might make. He has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is trash. You can still be good parents even though you are not together.


----------



## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Tx Gal said:


> Here it is....we met when we were 15 and 16 years old, he was a basketball star in high-school and had a very promising future ahead of him. I loved him with every inch of my self and poured everything I had into us. All while he had cheated countless times in high-school and in college. I couldn't keep up with how many times I caught him in the most stupidest of ways. We had our daughter in 2008 and our son in 2009, he had another daughter born just 3 months before our son in 2009 which he still to this day has zero contact with. I stayed and continued to be by his side no matter what the cost, I was a young mother of 2 under 2 and was determined to keep my family in tact. We got married in 2010. Fast forward a few
> years later to when we packed up and moved back home after he dropped out of college and threw away his dreams of playing ball. We moved back in with family and did the best we could with what we had all while I was going through post pardum depression after i had my son and I kept that hidden from everyone until years later. The cheating never stopped, fast forward to today.... he's been sleeping on the couch and told me he tired of not being number 1! And will no longer reach out to me and will start distancing himself from me. Told me I will always be miserable- which he is probably right. I work a full time job (always have) trying to stay strong for my now 13 and 12 year old but I'm struggling to keep my head above water. I'm broken, I'm tired, I'm hurt, I'm mad. There's a part of me who wants him to come to his senses and tell me he's sorry for everything he's ever done to me and is willing to work on us no matter the cost. But then the other part of me is ready to let go of this loveless relationship and ready to take my life back, put me first! But where do I begin? How and where do I start?


I am so sorry @Tx Gal for what you're going through. Guys like your hubby give guys a bad name.

Take care of yourself & kids physically & mentally
Distance yourself from him emotionally for sure, and physically if possible.
Talk to a lawyer to see what options you have
Lean on your family, friends, church for support. Let them love you.


I would also say to hold on to that anger (non-violently of course). It will help you through some tough days ahead.

He is who he is and you know it. There isn't going to be any change.
Get yourself out of that life and prove him (and you) wrong about being miserable. There is a good life beyond this.


----------



## justaguylookingforhelp (Nov 4, 2021)

While our situations are not apples to apples, I do get where you are coming from. My ex cheated on me multiple times, but we had a small child and so we "worked on it". And then we had another child and she cheated again. The difference between our situations seems to be that my ex asked for a divorce to chase after her last affair whereas your guy seems to be willing to just hang around. Some people will read your story and wonder why you've stayed so long and tell you to just run away and be happy you did. But I know that it can feel overwhelming and scary. And since you've been with this guy since you were young, you don't know any different. But I can tell you that it does get better and you can end up happy. It might take a while but it will happen. You can do better and find someone else eventually, but you might find that you are happy just to be single for a bit and focus on yourself and your kids (I wouldn't rush into dating). 

Do a consult with a lawyer and start to figure how to go about divorcing him. He is not going to change and you can't change him. He will never have an epiphany and realize he should treat you better. It just won't happen and I know that from experience. Look out for yourself and your kids. It will get better.


----------



## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

This guy is poison in your life. He seems to have nothing positive to contribute to your life. It seems to me the solution is obvious. Just file for divorce and get it finalized asap. No communication of any kind and move on with your life. 

There are plenty of good people out there to date and even marry. But this guy is still in partying jock mode. He will grow out of it one day, but not anytime soon.


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

He’s shown you who he is.

Believe him.


----------



## 24NitroglyceriN26 (11 mo ago)

Tx Gal said:


> me he's sorry for everything he's ever done to me and is willing to work on us no matter the cost. But then the other part of me is ready to let go of this loveless relationship and ready to take my life back, put me first! But where do I begin? How and where do I start?


GIVE him that option! You are saying you are willing to settle without escalating further but would love to force him to his kness.


----------

