# Another question for men



## luvinhim (Jun 25, 2014)

I hope I can word this right, but if i do not please try to understand the question and post answers please.

Hi, i have been trying some new things with my husband because he ask for them. (i am good girl by birth). Some of the things I have tried in my opinion were nasty for a lack of better wording. Or maybe a little more risque than I am use to. 

What goes through a mans mind when he wife or s/o gets nasty with him. And please don't tell me to go ask my huband. I want others opinion.


----------



## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

I think he loves that you're willing to try things and loves you for making an effort to make him happy. Of course your feelings matter equal to his so whatever makes you feel dirty or wrong about, you should bring it up to him.


----------



## Sunburn (Jul 9, 2012)

everyone is different

for me if she tries whatever and I can tell she's not really into it then it's not going to happen again.

Genuine enthusiasm is essential

If you're with someone that makes you do whatever knowing full well you don't like it then they are either getting off on your displeasure or are very selfish.


----------



## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Sunburn said:


> everyone is different
> 
> for me if she tries whatever and I can tell she's not really into it then it's not going to happen again.
> 
> ...


Sunburn, you turned something that might be very positive into a negative. luvinhim said nothing about him feeling entitled. Her husband also is not a mind reader.


----------



## luvinhim (Jun 25, 2014)

my husband does not make me feel nasty my good girl brain
makes me feel nasty. i have had a good girly brain for sooo long. I have worked out some of my issues, but some are still there.

when we first got married i only wanted missionary style. nor oral, no finger, no toys and definately no dirty language.

fast foward to today.. i love all of the above mentioned and enjoy doing them. 

i just want to add a little spice to things for my husband because he has been bottled up soo long dealing with my good girl issues. 

i just wondered what goes on in his and other mens head. 

do you fee loved?

does she turn you on and bring out the beast in you when a wife is willing to try new things?

is she sexy to you?

again just my good girl issues needing answers


----------



## JDMAC (Oct 2, 2014)

Yes, it would make me feel loved
Yes, it would be a turn on
Yes, it would increase her sexual appeal to me

Sometime, outside of the bed room and in a positive way ask him how it makes him feel. I bet it will be positive


----------



## luvinhim (Jun 25, 2014)

Thanks JDMAC it is reassuring to hear another man say this. Sometimes my mind messes with me and make me feel bad bout it.


----------



## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

luvinhim said:


> i just wondered what goes on in his and other mens head.
> 
> do you fee loved?
> 
> ...


I feel trusted and that makes me love her more. I know there are things that I like in the bedroom that make her feel vulnerable. I'm pretty positive that she likes them too but the fact that she's willing to indulge me lets me know that she trust me not to judge her. That happens to be one of my highest needs so it's important.


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

OK..I am not a Guy.. but I used to be "the good girl".. I did a thread on sexual repression .... to why I had some of these hang ups.. 

ALL gone now.. my Husband has never looked at me in a bad way -ever for getting more frisky, more Overt, more aggressive, more flirtatious, seductive... even loving porn.. he's all good with it.. he calls me a "dirty old woman" even.. but he'd never trade it for the way I used to be.. 

Always loved sex ....but couldn't understand how in world he enjoyed going down there (oral) , used to think "YUCK, how can he stand that !".... it seemed to short circuit my brain to the pleasure when I was thinking like this.. 

I associated certain sex acts / behaviors with Porn / Bad girls from seeing some clips in my youth...& some of the dirty talk you'd hear -if not within a lasting committed relationship, it just was wrong to me... the problem was...why was I still hung up.. I was married ! It's ridiculous thinking ...but we can get stuck here.... I think if you are raised to wait for one special love ... (which was important to me)... somehow, just because you walk down the aisle doesn't just turn a switch in your head and suddenly a Cougar is ready to bust out of it's cage and DO OUR MEN.... 

A couple needs to learn & grow together...TRY NEW things...we got side tracked.. it could have been so much more earlier on... 

When I came more into my "dirtiness" without any shame what so ever... after all he is my man - my husband just felt *Greatly desired* by that ...he was eating that up..and it made me feel good too ...alive unto myself.. a new freedom..

So many books that could help you lay some of these hang ups down....

I really enjoy this author...

The Good Girl's Guide to Bad Girl Sex: An Indispensable Guide to Pleasure & Seduction 

This is a christian book.. 

 The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex: (And You Thought Bad Girls Have All the Fun)

My favorite..

Passionista: The Empowered Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man: Books

A little inspiration.. this written by a fellow TAM member.. ThreeTimesaLady...



> *Sex is* desiring him every time you look at him. Needing him to fill that wonderful yearning deep inside you that needs filling & to die for.* Sex is *having breasts that ached to be touched & loved & you can not live without it. *Sex is* waking him up in the middle of the night as you need him & want him & then you find that he wants you just as much & you make love for an hour & get up & have coffee & wonder where the years have gone. *Sex is* finding the thrill after years of a man that can still make you scream & turn you to mush. *Sex is* turning him into a crazy man who wants you more than his own life.
> 
> Now. *Love is *being able to see some fault in your lover but shutting your mouth for the good of a marriage. *Love is* having to give & take in a marriage. Learning where to stop an argument when it is not important to win. Winning sometimes can be losing. *Love is* being able to find in that precious other the boy in the man that you fell in love when you 1st married. *Love is* being able to go to the sexiest side of you & turn that man into mush after all these years. *Love is *being able to hear from your lover that if you die first he will follow you as he cannot live without you .* Love is* the sunshine in the morning when it is cloudy out but seeing him next to you makes your world.
> 
> *Love is* being able to say screwing & not being embarrassed plus any other really dirty word in the bedroom as he loves it. The dirtier the better as we all know that ladies do not talk dirty with those wonderful words but we also know as ladies that when we enter our bedroom to our precious that we leave the lady at the door. We then turn into his sex siren. As hot & as sensual as can be. And then we all know that when we leave that bedroom we again pick up the lady. All us ladies must have the two faces of Eve. This makes for a very very fulfilling marriage, full of intimacy and Love. A man would never stray if he had this.


----------



## Sunburn (Jul 9, 2012)

Thundarr said:


> Sunburn, you turned something that might be very positive into a negative. luvinhim said nothing about him feeling entitled. Her husband also is not a mind reader.


the op used negative terms in her post.

you don't have to be a mind reader to understand non-verbal cues


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Thanks SA,

That is exactly it. I feel Desired. Which is way sexier than loved.

MN


----------



## U.E. McGill (Nov 27, 2013)

Everyman wants a church girl on the street and a freak in the bed. 

We get married for a lot of reasons, one of which is sexual exclusivity. He's your husband! He choose you. Sexual experimentation is a huge way a committed monogamous couple can express their love to each other.


----------



## azteca1986 (Mar 17, 2013)

luvinhim said:


> when we first got married i only wanted missionary style. nor oral, no finger, no toys and definately no dirty language.
> 
> fast foward to today.. i love all of the above mentioned and enjoy doing them.


Your both doing a great job. Slowly pushing the boundaries together is how you explore losing your inhibitions with each other.


> i just wondered what goes on in his and other mens head.
> 
> do you fee loved?
> 
> ...


I feel loved and it is a turn on. Most of all I feel special because the things my wife does and says in the bedroom are totally reserved for me. She is many wonderful things outside to the real world. And she's many wonderful things with me. Only for me. I see a different aspect of her. So, only I have any inkling of the 'true' her because I'm the only one with a complete picture.


----------



## Jetranger (May 31, 2013)

This thread from two days ago contains more insight:
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/mens-clubhouse/223586-what-about-being-sexually-adventurous.html


----------



## Lancer (Sep 15, 2014)

You should only do what you are comfortable with doing. He is probably only wanting to add a little spice. Perhaps things he has thought of in the past that he now thinks you are receptive to try. You never know until you ask.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I suppose it depends on what "nasty" is


----------



## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening all
I think the appeal of "nasty" (which I admit to having) is that it implies a level of excitement and enthusiasm that transcends the normal restraints we put on ourselves. 

Now of course people define "nasty" in different ways. I personally dislike any form of verbal abuse or humiliation.


----------



## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Depends on definition of nasty. But whatever it is, if I like it......yeah, I love it.

My wife is a "good girl"/family girl etc........and a complete freak in the bedroom.

Big reason why she is my wife. 

I want my wife to be the biggest nympho, ****, ***** she can possibly be.....FOR ME, and ME ONLY.

That **** drives me insane, love it/her.


----------



## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

well, if nasty in a sexual way, it makes the man's penis hard, he starts to think of nothing else than having sex with you, and starts acting a bit like a stag in heat.


----------

