# In-Law Moving in??



## Lavender (May 14, 2008)

This is my 2nd marriage, Ive only been re-married sense 2007, All my kids are adults or pre adults I like to say, there 19-23 & the youngest recently moved out. I do experience Empty nest ( concerning my kids some)but they are in an out on the weekends alot, & honestly Ive quite adapted to the timing being as it should.

Im in early menapause & am miserable most days ,Luckily I work from home. Recently my Inlaws marriage fell apart, MIL has moved on with new romance, & Fil has well mostly been in the hospital with his health. We almost lost him 3'xs so its very serious,the things going on with him & he is emotionallly a wreck as well.He didnt see his divorce 180 ...life change coming & had been dealt a cruel hand. 

My husband came to me & wants him to live with us. I cant say No, when its clear he doesnt need to be alone. well honestly Ive watched my husband become sole responsible for his dad, go without sleep, basically move in the hospital with him the past month. 

My H confides in me that he is overwhelmed with emotion and responsibility that instantly became his when his mother walked away from his dad after 38 years. also prior to his parents split and his dads decline in health, my husband was diagnosied with diabetes 2 and had to stay in the hospital his own self and over nite learn a new lifestyle, and he had just been home a day or two when his father went in the hospital. I know he is overwhelmed period & Btw my husband is an only child as well, so there are no siblings to take turns with anything. 

I love my Fil very much & have spent countless hours days visiting ,staying over nite with him at the hospital etc myself. But the thought of someone,anyone lol seriously moving in right on the heels of my youngest child moving out feels restraining, due to work scheldues etc. My fil will spend a majority of his time here with me, due to my husbands work scheldue. Ive gotten quite use to being alone mon thru thursday & it seems that is best with mood swings etc during menapausal moments. Im fatigued, ill & hot flash constantly. 

I wouldnt want to be around me constantly, so Im somewhat scared of the situation & selfish too I guess, because of small things like dress code.. seriously in menapause less clothing serves the best in dealing with body temperture etc & that has worked out well for me being here solo thru the work week. Its like the moment I heard the words, he needs to move in with us, my brain flashed to ...Oh God I'll have to be properly dressed 24/7 & NICE TOO... UGH. Unless you are or have been in menapause, that probally sounds crazy selfish, but Im seriously worried about it & All the many things that are going to change around here. 

If I bring this out as an issue, I will appear ^ selfish & cruel. My husband is scared for his fathers life and emotional well being right now, I am too & there are no other siblings ( options). I feel selfish & Im concerned that in the process of doing whats right for my FIL ( he really is pitiful just with his broken heart alone) but my life & lifestyle are fixing to be turned upside down. I have a krazy hectic life between work all week, weekend grandkids & functions,my own social releif ,I have twice monthly here my girlfriends over, so many things I do as a routine, I see not being appropiate anymore in my home. 

If I wasnt so menapausal maybe I wouldnt be concerned as much, Ive always thought I was a good person, but these reservations Im having are making me question my own character as in true selfishness, the good things is... I feel that I'm wrong for how I feel??????? Hopefully my fear of doing the right thing, is all menapauses fault. :scratchhead:


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