# Low Spot



## Emilyclairerider (Jul 26, 2021)

Hey! I am new here. I've known my husband for almost three years. We've lived together for about 2. Married in March.

I guess I need encouragement....... It's been one pretty huge honeymoon phase with a few low spots here and there so far. But lately it's really been bugging me because I haven't been getting those butterflies that I used to get so much of. 

Maybe it's just my own personal pattern of all my ups and downs. Being completely enamored with him one minute then apathetic the next. Which sometimes is due to being bipolar and sometimes just situational.

Maybe it's just that I recently changed a psychotropic med....

Whatever it is I'm struggling because it's not all rainbows and butterflies lately and thats one of the things that motivates me and spurs me on with our relationship. It's not like there's really anything bad happening...it just feels mediocre and that scares me. I absolutely love him to death tho and couldn't imagine my life without him.....


----------



## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

Welcome! 🤗


----------



## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

it is normal the rainbows and butterflies stage goes after the first 3 months ,


----------



## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

You can't expect that butterfly feeling to last forever, it is very unrealistic. It's quite normal to settle into things and have that "newness" wear off over time. I suspect the new med may also be contributing to your feelings as psych meds have a tendency to take time to work.


----------



## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

Congratulations newlywed!

Butterflies & rainbows are Hollywood versions of love & marriage. They don't exist in real life. Marriage is getting through the drudgery & still loving the other person & wanting to be with them. 

I found the 1st year of marriage extremely difficult We married for the 1st time later in life. It took a while to adjust to being a team. But now we're better together. 

Build some fun in. Do silly stuff. It will be OK but it does get harder from here so you need the foundation.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

It's a fallacy that marriage is all butterflies and rainbows. 
Maybe you have watched too many Hollywood romance films?
Life just isn't like that.


----------



## Goobertron (Aug 14, 2012)

It's natural with every significant new experience that it will go through different phases as part of a bigger cycle toward equilibrium. eg. learning to drive, voting, moving to a new town or starting a new job. Try to focus on what you bring to the relationship. We all need a purpose and that way you can find a role you value for yourself. Self-esteem and self love come from within. There's a band called Verve that sing a lyric I like: "All the love I have is in my mind". Create conditions that encourage the feelings you are after. All the best to you, your romance and your relationship.


----------

