# And, he was serious!



## Lost40 (Dec 27, 2014)

*And, he was serious! 4/13 Update*

Thought I'd share a little something, kind of says a lot - and shows how I've progressed - I think!

I get a call from EX on Friday - asking if he can use my truck to help a "friend" move. I said "No, I'm sorry - I have to go, I can't really talk about it right now anymore". Click. 

I get a text a few hours later. Can you please let me use it, I am really in a bind. I promised my friend a truck, and now I can't find one to borrow. I said "No, you aren't insured on my plan anymore and it likely won't start anyway, it's been sitting all winter".

So, he returns son home the next day... and that is when the sh?t hit the fan. He gets out of his car, and starts telling me that I need to stop messing around, am I going to let him use it or not? I said I am confident I already answered your question, twice. He said I want a good reason why. I said, you don't need a reason other than the one I already told you. I don't answer to you anymore, remember? He started cursing and getting nasty. I turned to my son, and asked him to go in the house - and ex said "No, son.. you stay right here - its fine". So, ex turned to me again and said "I want a good reason why, you are being such a bitc..." 

In a very calm, reassuring and no nasty way - I simply looked at him, and I said Ok (name)... You want your reason why? I am not your wife anymore, you left me for another woman and filed for divorce. I went on... You never not one time, this entire winter - knowing you left son and I with this big place, and no job or money, asked if we were OK, or needed help in anyway. You abandoned your responsibilities. Now that you've made another promise to someone you can't keep - it is not MY responsibility to make sure you can uphold that promise. Now, I ask that you please leave, and don't ask to borrow my truck or any other thing again. Have a nice day.

I turned and took son, and walked in the house. The entire time I sat there and said that, he sat there like this...  :scratchhead::scratchhead: 

He was dumbfounded. It felt excellent, I assume he eventually picked his jaw up off the floor and left, I don't know - as I went inside. 

:rofl: I feel good!

I think what was so great was - he's never seen me stand up for myself. He can't sit there and say, Why did you do that in front of our son - b/c clearly, I asked son to go inside - and he told him to stay right there. Not my fault. Granted, didn't like doing that in front of son - but, I explained and talked to him later. Of course he didn't blink an eye - he knows. He's known for sometime, you can tell.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Good for you, you did good. Remember how I said he only knows the Lost40 that is a doormat and only knows how to deal with that one? Well now you have proof of that. He tried bully and it didn't work. 

He'll try sweetness next so be prepared. He'll continue to look for ways to manipulate you until he finally gives up.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Now, didn't that feel great? The only power anyone has over us is the power we give them. A firm "no" works like kryptonite on these narcissistic types. Like the Big Bad Wolf in The Three Little Pigs, he'll come back with a different approach. Be firm, prepared, and safe.


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## Regretf (Oct 13, 2014)

Good for you to stand up to his selfishness. What did he think, that you were going to act like his w after he left you and your S?

let him have it.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

You go, Girl!!!!!

:smthumbup::smthumbup::smthumbup:

(Btw, that was "textbook PERFECT"!!! Nicely done... And I bet you feel empowered! )


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## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

You were capable of change and you simply did not know it prior to that. Remember, our brains are plastic, it is what helps us learn and grow. Your son can learn a great deal from you, and what you have learned would be a valuable lesson in his development. Your responsible for shaping your son into the person you want him to be, and your influence will be necessary in countering your ex'x influence. So, your not doing this just for you alone.

Way to kick some narcissistic a$$. Your not a doormat for his convenience. You have changed a lot since I first posted on your thread.


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

Well said! Good for you.


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## Lost40 (Dec 27, 2014)

Thank you for listening! I couldn't wait to share the story! I said, Oh my people at TAM are going to be happy for me now! lol

More importantly than that though, I'm happy for myself. I truly truly never ever thought I'd see the day where he left my heart and mind. I was convinced I was destined for the rocking chair. I'll never forget the day, more than one day even - I begged with desperation, tears and probably nervous breakdowns to my Mom, my sister - whoever would do it, to just take me to the hospital and have me put into a drug induced coma - until I forgot who I was. LOL

Everyone who is in this horrible horrible place, no matter where in your journey - please know, when they say it gets easier - it gets better - and you'll become a stronger person for it. Believe them, even if you don't want to - and are clearly convinced you are different, and you for sure won't. You WILL. Because I was all of those things and more. FAKE it until you MAKE it. I lived off that, it kept me going, and now I'm telling my friend the same thing who just started her divorce process a couple weeks ago. I feel for her, she is in that same horrifying place I was in.. and I'm trying to tell her, like you all told me... but it's hard to believe. I get it.

I don't know where I am with my thoughts of ex anymore, I can't pinpoint it really. I wouldn't call it indifference yet, I still hate him for what he did to us. But.. it's not the kind of hate where I obsess over it. I rarely think of him anymore. I've met some new people, even a new guy I am starting to hang out with as friends only right now... and it's a lot of fun. It's nice to have that friendship without feeling like I need to be "involved" - or have intimacy with him - just knowing I have someone I can go out and do fun things with and no strings attached is good stuff. I leave for Florida at the end of the week, and get to go on a little get-away to my parents house and that will be super nice. I look forward to getting away, if I can get past the flight. I hate flying. lol. If you would've asked me this a few months ago, I wouldn't of gone. In fact, I know I wouldn't of - they asked me to come many times, and I refused each time.

I will be prepared for him to change his tactic. Thanks for the heads up. I don't know what to expect anymore. I can't even believe he asked. I have reason to believe, he is moving his girlfriend out of her place. He's not one to help people move, he'd avoid that at all cost. He's lazy as all get out. So the only person he would help would be a girlfriend. The reason I say that is, b/c it just shows how rabid he is... to ask his ex wife whom he hurt, to use her truck to move new girl.

I don't even care. Doesn't phase me. Never in my life did I think I'd say that.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

You did good!! Now you feel good!! :smthumbup::smthumbup:


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## Regretf (Oct 13, 2014)

I can't believe the nerve on some people, i just don't know what goes thru their head. How twisted is that sometimes they think they can get away with everything. I'm shure he thinks his affair and the D is all your fault, in his twisted head you should be helping him since all of this is your fault. Shyte for brains.


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## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

The look on his face must have just been priceless. 

Stick with that script when he comes back...and he will...just a plain simple "I'm still waiting for an answer from you last request."

Then just walk away.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Lost40 said:


> I look forward to getting away, if I can get past the flight. I hate flying. lol.


I hate flying too (and my dad was a pilot!); I am a white-knuckle flyer. But I love traveling to new places so I tolerate it .

You can try my little trick -- I always stop at the airport bar and down a shot of Grey Goose right before boarding... doesn't matter what time of day -- I've been known to do it even on early morning flights! And I'm not a big drinker.

:lol:


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## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

Lost40 said:


> Thank you for listening! I couldn't wait to share the story! I said, Oh my people at TAM are going to be happy for me now! lol
> 
> More importantly than that though, I'm happy for myself. I truly truly never ever thought I'd see the day where he left my heart and mind. I was convinced I was destined for the rocking chair. I'll never forget the day, more than one day even - I begged with desperation, tears and probably nervous breakdowns to my Mom, my sister - whoever would do it, to just take me to the hospital and have me put into a drug induced coma - until I forgot who I was. LOL
> 
> ...



Remember when you wanted to quit, and we convinced you to keep going, your friend will need someone like that at times. Patience, and keep hammering what you have learned. When your friend is ready, she will listen. At first, she will have a wall, but cracks will appear, and slowly, new messages will slip in and sink into her thoughts. It is all about the small, positive changes.

Have fun on your trip. Those new attachments you form is helping you move on. I think I stated that only a certain amount of intimate connections can be formed, and those new attachments is helping you dissolve the attachment to your ex. It is biological.


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## Lost40 (Dec 27, 2014)

Regret - Exactly, shyte for brains. That is a good one. lol. I was flabbergasted when he asked on the phone, I don't know why I answered -- probably b/c I'm so over it, and done with the time I wasted worrying about him - that, it just doesn't have the same effect on me anymore, so I just answered. It was good humor though, it showed me just how far I've come. God gives me little tests I guess, to show me how I've come a long way. That was one of them. 

Can you imagine that? I asked him to help me change lightbulbs on front porch several months back so son didn't have to walk up to the house dark (I can't get the fixtures off to change bulb), when I was still trying to be nice to him and crap - and, he refused. Flat out, told me to ask someone else. Yet, he thinks he's going to use my truck?! lol


Samarai - Yes, I will say that! The look on his face was priceless, that is what makes it so funny. It started out with this nasty look - he did those, to intimidate me. When I started rattling off my words .... it quickly changed, to a look of ..."What the hell? Who is this? Jaw hit the floor and all". lol


Happy - I will try your trick of a shot or two or three. lol. Does it help calm you down?


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## Lost40 (Dec 27, 2014)

Mr.Fisty said:


> Remember when you wanted to quit, and we convinced you to keep going, your friend will need someone like that at times. Patience, and keep hammering what you have learned. When your friend is ready, she will listen. At first, she will have a wall, but cracks will appear, and slowly, new messages will slip in and sink into her thoughts. It is all about the small, positive changes.
> 
> Have fun on your trip. Those new attachments you form is helping you move on. I think I stated that only a certain amount of intimate connections can be formed, and those new attachments is helping you dissolve the attachment to your ex. It is biological.


You're right Fisty! That is a good way to say it, when you're ready you listen. Yes, I remember how many times I just about gave up, and often times did give up. But, I kept coming back for more, and its because I could tell - it did comfort me to read those things, and I was building new bricks with each of those comments - and eventually I put enough bricks down to start climbing out of it. lol.

I told my friend when I was with her this weekend, I said trust me, I know you're sitting there thinking to yourself - Yeah right, it doesn't get easier - you're just saying that to be nice. But, trust me, it does. We've been good friends long enough, that hopefully she believes me. 

You really think that having new relationships and friendships help dissolve some of the pain? Is that a good thing, I mean it feels like it is. Because things have gotten easier before I met some of these people, but since I've met certain others - it's gotten even easier yet. Is that just the way it is? 

At the same time, when I think about that - I don't want to form relationships as a band-aid to get better. I want to be better, THEN - relationship. I think I am, but I don't know the actual process yet...

Personally, I think my ex - jumping from relationship to relationship since his mistress dumped him like a can of worms, means he was doing this b/c the initial thought is "It feels better, I have someone to occupy my time with". Where as, I went through it alone, and I did it the hard way.... learning to love and live alone. 

I'm rambling, but I think I know what I'm saying.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Since your ex apparently is not very resourceful, you might want to remind him next time that it's very cheap to rent a truck from uhaul.

LOL some people care so clueless... that he would even ask after all that has gone down is a :scratchhead::scratchhead:


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## Lost40 (Dec 27, 2014)

That is what astonishes me... that he even asked. He hasn't been paying child support for over a month (we filed a motion to put him in the status of being contempt of court order or whatever, I don't know legal names) and he started paying again when he saw that - and now I guess he thinks, since I'm paying her - I guess, I can use her again. lol


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

FREAKIN' BRAVO GIRL.... That was perfection....


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

I had a proud moment today too. A little while ago STBX texted me to tell me someone on his job site was killed today. (Very sad). My proud moment is that, "Aw man, that steel beam got the wrong guy" was NOT my first thought!


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

Great job, you handled it perfectly.

Now with that much being said, do you think I could possibly borrow your truck?


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## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

Lost40 said:


> You're right Fisty! That is a good way to say it, when you're ready you listen. Yes, I remember how many times I just about gave up, and often times did give up. But, I kept coming back for more, and its because I could tell - it did comfort me to read those things, and I was building new bricks with each of those comments - and eventually I put enough bricks down to start climbing out of it. lol.
> 
> I told my friend when I was with her this weekend, I said trust me, I know you're sitting there thinking to yourself - Yeah right, it doesn't get easier - you're just saying that to be nice. But, trust me, it does. We've been good friends long enough, that hopefully she believes me.
> 
> ...



Think of it as a crutch, and the benefits is that you form new friendships. We here on TAM was something like that for you. You know somewhat of my past. I wanted to share something to show you that change is possible. I wanted to show you a different way of viewing things.

I had people that loved me, who made me fight my depression and anger. I use the idea of their pain to want to live and change. For the both of us, it netted positive results. Those people in your life are happier because you are doing wel, it benefits them as well, since your well-being has a ripple effect. When you think of your friend, it saddens you to see what she is going through, and with you mentally stronger, you can act like a crutch for her. Just think of it as support. Their is a scientist named Dunbar. His research shows that we are capable of knowing about 100 to 200 people sufficiently. Things like intimate connections make up a really small group of those we know. Those bonds take time and energy to maintain its close bonds. Biological bonds are different , we do not need as much time since biology makes us highly more attached naturally.

It is the reason why you do not have 20 best friends, too many people to sustain that level of intimacy.

I didn't mean you have to date, close relationships is good enough. Work on yourself until you become more independent. Work on yourself until the loss of one person does not wreck your life in such a manner. In your next relationship, when your ready, keep a portion of your life fulfilling without a partner. Your identity was too tightly wrapped around your ex. Learn boundaries too, just like how you showed your ex a boundary.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Lost40, you go girl, so proud of you for standing up for yourself. I think your son is probably very proud of the strong independent woman you are becoming too!:smthumbup:


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Is he spending time with your son?

How did you find out OW dumped him? That must have felt good to hear.


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## Lost40 (Dec 27, 2014)

Thank you all!
Lenzi sure come on over! Will leave keys on the seat for ya. Lol

Feisty excellent post again. I was humbled when you shared some of your story with me, and it did help give me hope and encouragement that change can be achieved. I was definitely way too tight around ex. I need help in not knowing how to do that again. Though pretty sure I wont, I'm not fully the same person.

Long, I found out back in November when we were trying to settle things at round table discussions with our attorneys. I was still very raw back then, and I made the comment to ex that I was not comfortable with my son being around HER EVER. My son still hates that woman and I didn't feel he needed subjecting to her. When I said that he told me I didn't have to worry as they rarely spoke anymore. I guess I just believed him, plus I have pretty good with 97% certainty he is with someone new and that also confirms it. It was funny when I found out she dumped him, I knew she saw one thing. $$. When she soon realized it wasn't his and he has zero capability of earning this alone. He was kicked to curb. Just like I told him would happen.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I told a buddy you'd let us borrow your truck. I'll be by to get it around 3:00. Hope that's cool with you. If not, I'll be expecting a really good reason. LOL


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## Lost40 (Dec 27, 2014)

That's about what it's like. Lol

He is pouting now. Son and I leave for vacation this week and it was planned that ex was going to take son an extra day or two this week to spend time (couple hours) since we will be gone 10 days. 

Of course it was under the "if work allows" and I'm not dumb. If work allows means if nothing better comes up with new woman. His type of work doesn't require that kind of thing I guarantee. Which is sick and disgusting but I'm used to it. Son knows it I think which is why he prefers not going at all.

Anyway... Bc he's pouting he isn't texting asking for son. All the better for me. I don't care... Only thing I care about is, when this all hits him in another year or two... And he tries to start auditioning for father of the year award ceremony. Coming around and wanting to know "what happened?"


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

How sad for him. Without you covering for him he's just a broke, pathetic middle aged guy with very little to offer. The day will come when he realizes that letting you go was the biggest mistake of his life, and he did it for a sk$nk that dumped him as soon as she realized he has nothing of his own. His "friend".

But he did you an enormous favor. He was nothing but dead weight for you, and why you thought you couldn't live without this pos is beyond me. Besides being your son's father he has nothing to offer you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

Your son is going through a transitioning period. More adult concepts will be known to him. It is best for him to learn the type of person his father is, so he knows how to operate, lower certain expectations, and a better perception of reality. Your son sounds mature for his age,and you have a bigger role to play in that development, so you should be proud of how you are as a parent. I wish my mother was more like you, but I ended up being a therapist for my mother. She was a pleaser like you were. People used her, and she suffered. I had to fix her mess, and coach her to stop being so codependent. She has a less idealistic view of people, but she is more capable of protecting herself. It is strange though, since she asks me advice and I really do not go to her for any guidance.

Anyways, I hope that you talk to your son about the things you have learned. Instead of telling him what to do, tell him about the issues, and how you dealt with it, and ask him his perspective on how he would handle the same situation. It is an exercise in critical thinking. If he has a problem, instead of telling him what to do, discuss it like you would do with an adult. Keep questioning him, and let him come up with a solution. It is okay to give your view on it as well.

When his father gives him bad advice, like do what feels good, have him do an exercise how his choices will affect him, the people around him, and what possible consequences is there due to his actions. Let him question everything,it is a good exercise. The best wisdom is the ones you learn for yourself.


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## Lost40 (Dec 27, 2014)

lifeistooshort said:


> How sad for him. Without you covering for him he's just a broke, pathetic middle aged guy with very little to offer. The day will come when he realizes that letting you go was the biggest mistake of his life, and he did it for a sk$nk that dumped him as soon as she realized he has nothing of his own. His "friend".
> 
> But he did you an enormous favor. He was nothing but dead weight for you, and why you thought you couldn't live without this pos is beyond me. Besides being your son's father he has nothing to offer you.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


He is a pathetic middled aged guy now with very little to nothing to offer. I remember telling myself, how I yearned from him some or any kind of "I made a mistake, I'm sorry" -- I thought that would be what helped me, the only thing - I was convinced. It never came, and just like you all said - eventually you won't care. I don't care. I already know how he is, he had a fantastic way of taking my life and turning it into, this thought of - without him, it wouldn't of been that way. I can see all that now, it's all very clear. And, THAT is the only thing I needed. I didn't need his re-assurance, I got it on my own - through help and support. 

I don't know why I thought I couldn't live without him either. I really don't. I was too focused on selfish behavior I guess. I lost something I had, and I wanted it back. Didn't matter if I didn't like it, it was still mine - and now it's gone mentality? I hate to sound that way, because I do know - I loved him. I did anything for that man, he could say jump - and I'd say How high, when, what time and can I come back down? It was horrible, I admit it. But - now I have freedom... I have the ability to better myself, and I'm not strapped down by someone who only sees for themself - and no one else. It is amazing, how good that is, and how good that feels.

The favor thing you mentioned, I had the same thing said to me by a good friend. She said, you may not realize this yet (this was a couple months ago) but, I can see right now - that he did you a favor. You NEVER would've left that man on your own doing. So, him making the biggest mistake in his life and leaving - was a favor - b/c you deserve to be treated with respect and you wouldn't of ever gotten it from him.

Please let it last, I don't want a relapse. I don't think I will, or it shouldn't be bad if I do, b/c I truly feel like I've made a gigantic leap in my healing.


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## Lost40 (Dec 27, 2014)

Thank you for your kind words Mr Fisty - It makes me feel good to know that I come across as a good Mom. My son is so very important to me, and I want to say we are best friends (son and I) - but at the same time, I'm still riding that line of... Yes, but he's my boy, he's still young and needs a mom - a role model and direction with discipline at times. But - we have become so very close. I think he is finally seeing that, I'm not this woman that my ex made me out to be to him. Whenever ex was extremely mad at me (which was a lot, esp at the end) - he would always tell son - something like "Your mom is f'd up" or "Your mom is nuts" or "Don't ever get married". And, now my son sees for himself - Wait a minute, that isn't true.

You know, I was talking to my son last night. I ask him to talk a lot, especially at dinner time - almost every night. So, the conversation is always different, sometimes the same. He said to me, you laugh a lot Mom. I said I know I do, I said because I'm happy. He said I know you are, and I am too. 

That made me feel so good. It shows that he is happy, and it shows that he likes being with me - and in my opinion - this is something I would NEVER want to miss out on. I feel truly blessed.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

Good for you! You're right he's not your husband anymore and he has no right to damand something like this. I think once you're divorced you no longer have any responsibilities to that person anymore.


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## Lost40 (Dec 27, 2014)

Hi All, Hope everyone had a very Happy Easter! Son and I did!! I didn't struggle AT ALL, not even a little bit. And, Easter was always a big to-do in this family b/c of how religious my ex-husband thinks he is. 

We spent last week on Vacation, and had a really great time. Son didn't spend time with his Dad on Easter b/c we were already gone, and I gave the choice to son (Spring Break) - and he said He wanted to go. He didn't text his dad all day, until bedtime to say Goodnight, and threw in a Happy Easter and I think he did that b/c I mentioned "Did you talk to Dad and wish him a Happy Easter?", I didn't tell him to, it was just a question. I probably shouldn't of even done that, but... I felt if I didn't, son might realize his error later and feel guilty, and I didn't want him doing that.

My birthday was Friday, and we were still gone - and I got a text from ex, saying "Happy Birthday" bright and early in the morning, I wasn't even out of bed yet. I waited awhile before I replied, I wanted a good reply and I chose to use the words "Thank you for thinking of me". Which I know killed him dead, because he's made it so obvious in his attempts to hurt me, that he doesn't think about me at all anymore, that I am nothing to him and if I ever had to say something about our son, he'd wait hours or days to reply - telling me "He forgot b/c I'm not on his mind anymore". So, I thought that would be a good come back. He didn't respond to that.

My fear of flying is tremendous, it's truly paralyzing, and I usually have to self medicate, but didn't want to with son - I felt responsible as the only adult. So, I managed to fly without my medication to calm me down, and I was super proud of myself. I was so scared, but I think I hid it good enough - I mean it was obvious I was scared, but... I didn't flip out. When we landed son, kissed me on the cheek and told me Thank you and he was proud of me. That felt good b/c I didn't even know he knew I was afraid - I thought I kept that from him. lol. Guess not. LOL

When we returned, EX was picking up son from airport and he asked me for some more things from the house (over text this time, instead of infront of son - he learned his lesson, lol) - he wants his tools and power drill. I told him no, why should I have to replace those at my expense? He said Thanks. I said No problem. We went our separate ways.

I am kind of sort of seeing a guy... I've been taking it slow, friends kind of thing, but he picked me up from the airport to drive me and my car home, after my son was gone of course. And, he is just so very very nice to me. I've never been treated with such kindness, even when ex and I were "new". So, I am figuring this out. I'm not really scared like I thought I'd be, and I'm not turned off by the idea like I used to be... but, I just want to go slow. I think his patience with me, and him not trying to be "fast" or trying to do anything sexual besides a hug, is really helpful. He is just a go-with the flow kind of guy.


So there we go, small update on me.


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## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

Happy Birthday a few days late!


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Hey lost, that makes your birthday the 10th? Mine's the 6th. You wouldn't happen to have been born in 1974 too would you?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

Happy Birthday Sweet Girl. I'm glad your beau is kind, just make sure he can bring the passion too.


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## Lost40 (Dec 27, 2014)

lifeistooshort said:


> Hey lost, that makes your birthday the 10th? Mine's the 6th. You wouldn't happen to have been born in 1974 too would you?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Happy Belated Birthday!

Yes, April 10 '74 :smthumbup:


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## Lost40 (Dec 27, 2014)

Blossom Leigh said:


> Happy Birthday Sweet Girl. I'm glad your beau is kind, just make sure he can bring the passion too.


Yes, that will come later perhaps. LOL. 

I still need to figure that all out, I'm kind of in limbo with this idea still. I definitely have moved past the "I never picture myself with anyone else" idea. That is long gone. Never thought I'd say that, but it's gotten so easy to say it and mean it.

But what I am being serious about is, my vows. I took them, and I meant them. I realize, I am less than 30 days away from my divorce being final, and me being a free woman - and that he was the one who started it, and broke the vows and therefore I shouldn't care. But - it's just a personal preference of mine. I feel they need to be honored and held. So, I will - I think I'll feel better about myself one day for that.

I will soon, maybe very soon post in Dating after divorce and get some thoughts and ideas - because, this is so new to me. It's been over 15+ years since I've dated someone! According to my therapist, a lot of rebound relationships don't work, and I didn't really like listening to him say that b/c IMO - this isn't one. To me, a rebound is what my ex did. Date the minute he left. I went through hell and back, and found myself in a position where I am truly moved or moving on at a steady pace.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Lost40 said:


> Happy Belated Birthday!
> 
> Yes, April 10 '74 :smthumbup:


Cool, happy belated birthday! We are literally 4 days apart 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Abbey N (Aug 1, 2014)

*Re: And, he was serious! 4/13 Update*

OMG! Good for you...you are my hero. I am in the middle of a separation myself and my STBXH still thinks he can expect me to do favors for him and is dumbfounded when I refuse. I seriously dont know what goes throght these peopels heads.


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## sammy3 (Jun 5, 2011)

happy as a clam said:


> I hate flying too (and my dad was a pilot!); I am a white-knuckle flyer. But I love traveling to new places so I tolerate it .
> 
> You can try my little trick -- I always stop at the airport bar and down a shot of Grey Goose right before boarding... doesn't matter what time of day -- I've been known to do it even on early morning flights! And I'm not a big drinker.
> 
> :lol:


Your funny!!! Didnt dear ole dad tell ya that when it gets really bumpy that its the safest time! ((it's when the pilots put their newspapers down, lolo))


And Lost ... soooooo happy for you!!!! Chumplady would love you!!!

~sammy


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## Sammiee (Apr 15, 2015)

happy as a clam said:


> I hate flying too (and my dad was a pilot!); I am a white-knuckle flyer. But I love traveling to new places so I tolerate it .
> 
> You can try my little trick -- I always stop at the airport bar and down a shot of Grey Goose right before boarding... doesn't matter what time of day -- I've been known to do it even on early morning flights! And I'm not a big drinker.
> 
> :lol:


The problem there is that if there's a crash you need your wits about you so you can evacuate safely. Being drunk puts you at a disadvantage.


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## Lost40 (Dec 27, 2014)

Thank you all! Sammy who is chump lady?


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## sammy3 (Jun 5, 2011)

Lost40 said:


> Thank you all! Sammy who is chump lady?


Google... she is every BS best-friend! 

~sammy


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