# Lie Detector.



## Annesnerl (Dec 8, 2013)

Well, after a year of waiting for him to tell me everything. He tells me he will write a narrative. Instead, he tells me there are only two more things:
1) one of the women said shed give him the best bj he's. ever had-he says he never got it and 
2) that same woman said she was looking forward to being stepmother to our children

He still expects me to believe nothing happened. I asked him to take a lie detector to put it all to rest. At first, he said ok. Then he said we couldn't base our marriage on a faulty test. I said ambiguous questions might be faulty but he should be able to pass a yes or no did you have sex with another woman.

What are your thoughts on this-help please!!


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## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

If he wont do it then tell him you want to go talk to the OW. See how he reacts to that. If he freaks out you already have your answer.

I am really sorry to hear you even have to do anything like this. 

I hated the fact I could not trust the woman I had married. I hope you get answers. 

Clay


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Annesnerl said:


> Well, after a year of waiting for him to tell me everything. He tells me he will write a narrative. Instead, he tells me there are only two more things:
> 1) one of the women said shed give him the best bj he's. ever had-he says he never got it and
> 2) that same woman said she was looking forward to being stepmother to our children
> 
> ...


It's not perfect. But it is also far from being faulty.

Your husband seems scared of the idea of having his words tested. *Why on earth would this be?*

We can guess. 

How many women were there? 

Has he written the list of lies, excuses, prevarications and fabrications, yet? Sorry! I mean the narrative, of course!

When if- he does, please share it with us.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> It's not perfect. But it is also far from being faulty.
> 
> Your husband seems scared of the idea of having his words tested. *Why on earth would this be?*
> 
> ...


I could be wrong, but I think it works if they believe it works.


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## Annesnerl (Dec 8, 2013)

I am so angry right now-and I have really never been angry. But to tell me that she was looking forward to being stepmother to our children-especially the one she was flirting with at the same time she was teying to get with my husband and then tell me he did nothing to give her the idea this was even possible is killing me-he must really think I am a complete idiot.


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

Annesnerl said:


> I am so angry right now-and I have really never been angry. *But to tell me that she was looking forward to being stepmother to our children-*especially the one she was flirting with at the same time she was teying to get with my husband and then tell me he did nothing to give her the idea this was even possible is killing me-he must really think I am a complete idiot.


This is MAJOR. Go for the polygraph.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

Annesnerl said:


> I am so angry right now-and I have really never been angry. But to tell me that she was looking forward to being stepmother to our children-especially the one she was flirting with at the same time she was teying to get with my husband and then tell me he did nothing to give her the idea this was even possible is killing me-he must really think I am a complete idiot.


Can't believe I doing this again....

Okay, here's the thing: Regardless of what he believes, you believe, we believe (or not believe; let's not go there again) as far as the accuracy of a polygraph is concerned, will it satisfy YOUR needs for an attempt at recovery? Will YOU feel comfortable that you have the answers YOU need to move on?


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## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

You are really not alone. For some reason most cheaters think there spouses are complete idiots. My xW screwed up and used the house phone to talk to her OM. I am a voice engineer and our home phone was routed through are gateways at work. I just happen to be working on one of them and saw the call. I called home and asked her who she was talking to. She lied and said it was a store. I told her I could see the number and it was a cell phone number. She then said it was a friend. I asked how long she had been on the phone. She lied again and said 20 minutes. The call had been going on for two hours. I kicked her out of the house that next Monday. I never had proof she was cheating until I went home that Monday morning and found her writing a love letter to the OM. 

Your going to have to deal with this if you ever want your marriage to work. I would tell him either you know the truth now or he can just leave. 

I am really sorry you are going through this.

Clay


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## Annesnerl (Dec 8, 2013)

Thanks he's so adamant that he's telling the truth-even though he has admitted to the early lies and cover up. He told me this last thing as a peace offering because I have begged him to tell me everything. To me, her statement about being stepmother to our children is completely off the just sex talk path he said he was on. A woman doesn't mention or imply that unless she thinks there's a chance it might happen. I thought he would finally admit to having sex with her-not this. This implies way more happened and he's hiding more than I thought. 

I find it telling that he'll agree to a lie detector and then get angry and say they are faulty And we shouldn't base our marriage on it. If he fails a question about whether he's told me everything-ok-it might be faulty-because he might have forgotten something. How can you fail a yes or no question about whether you had sex with someone. Trying to convince me it's faulty-is just telling me in advance that he'll fail it.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

Annesnerl said:


> I find it telling that he'll agree to a lie detector and then get angry and say they are faulty And we shouldn't base our marriage on it.


Quite telling, huh? Sounds like he does believe in them which is why he is trying to sell to you their fallacies so he doesn't have to sweat.

I would make him take it. I bet you get a full parking lot confession under these circumstances.


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## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

I agree with 3putt. 

You probably going to have to put your foot down and tell him either he takes the test or the marriage is over with. 

It is so horrible that you even have to go through this. 

Clay


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## whataboutthis? (Apr 5, 2013)

I had my H take a lie detector. He passed. However, I was unsatisfied because I based the test on two areas: physical infidelity and cyber infidelity. I expected him to definitely fail the cyber portion. But he passed both. He contacted escorts and payed for adult dating sites. So the outcome of his poly (passed), gave me zero closure. Now he thinks because he passed the poly I should accept it with zero doubt that he engaged in cyber or physical infidelity. However, it does not make sense. How can a man contact escorts and pay for adult dating sites and pass a poly saying he has not engaged in sexual communication online? 

My advise, skip the poly. It did not result in closure for me. 

Polys are not accurate. I threw away $750 and it made me more confused.

Let me say that if he failed the cyber and passed the physical I would likely have trusted the accuracy of the results.

Bottom line, a poly only picks up on a lie if there is remorse for the action. If a person has no remorse and/or has convinced themselves that they did nothing wrong, they poly will pass.

Save your money. Go with your gut and make decisions based upon the facts you currently have. Can you live with what you know as factual at the moment? I know you feel you need closure. But often times the only way to get it is to make a decision on what you know and stick by it.

Best of luck.


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