# Shy Husband



## Marrianna (Nov 13, 2012)

Hi everyone,

I m 26 yrs old and my husband is 31. Its been 2 months since we got married. It was an arranged marriage. And also the wedding happened quickly. We only had 2 months to get to know each other. When we first met he seemed to be confident about life and other stuff. Before marriage we had met only 3 times. He used to call me evryday though. He does not talk much and neither do i so the conversations lasted fr 10 mins or less and mostly revolved arnd hw the day went, wrk, etc. He had told me he likes to travel, is a foodie. I love to travel too not a foodie though and dint know the ABC of cooking. 

Coming to the problem. We did nt have sex on our wedding nite. He said he wanted me to get comfortable and so wants to give me some time to adjust wid him being arnd. Fair enuf. I did have problems changing my clothes in front of him. His family was with us fr a week so nothing happened for almost a week. Then on the nite his parents left, we sort of did it. Sort of because he was nt able to get in and later said he is tired. so dint actually completely do it. Second time was almost 3 weeks later. I knew he wanted it bt he dint knw hw to initiate. He kept stealing glances.. he dint do nethng so i asked him nd he said he is shy. Well i m shy too but somebdy needed to gv it a start so i initiated. Again he cud nt do it completely. Then 3rd a week later, same thing again. 4th time a month later and same issue again. I hv nt spoken to him abt it, thinkin he mite get hurt. Also he still finds it difficult to initiate. Wat do i do?

Another issue is he does nt talk. Weekends are boring. We dnt go out. He does nt complement me when i cook somethng nice or wear a nice dress. does nt help with the cooking knwing well tht i am new to it, does nt care if i hv eaten or nt, does nt bother to evn ask.

he says he has gt too much wrk and come back home late and aftr dinner eithr watches tv or again sits on the laptop late into the nite. I m nt sure if he is actually wrkng at nite. I strongly suspect he is watchn porn, cannot confirm though.

I know i need to talk to him, but somehw i m nt able to coz i still find him to b a stranger tht my parents gt me married to. I find him to be selfish. We hv nt gone on our honey moon yet, i hv nt met any of his friends. tends to get very boring. Both of us wrk. Whn i leave fr wrk he is till sleeping. Whn i go to sleep he is watchn tv or is on the laptop. We hardly speak. Weekends too are boring. He just keeps watchn tv.

I m soo unhappy. Please help.


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## Rags (Aug 2, 2010)

Looks like you might both have a lack of education in this area.

It's funny, but for something so natural and normal, which has been done for <x> million years, everyone needs to learn it from scratch.

I would suggest that you get a basic sex manual - order one online is a good way of not being embarrased about getting it.

Ideally, you would read it together, and it would explain a lot to you that people often acquire growing up in more open and expressive cultures. However if you find that too awkward, you can take it in turn to read chapters, which will give you something interesting to talk about.

Sex is a wonderful expression of love between a couple, and is a necessary component for most people to feel connected in a marriage. It's also a lot of fun, when you get good at it. Getting good takes practice - and learning together is a good way of bonding.

Good luck.


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## Marrianna (Nov 13, 2012)

Thanks Rags.

The issue is nt lack of education. I used to hv a bf and we used to hv sex nd i did enjoy it. The issue here is tht the erection does not last long. Its all good during forepaly and thn all of a sudden he loses it and whn i try to start over again he says he is tired.


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