# He hates me



## sadmilwaukeemom (Aug 27, 2012)

New to the site, could use some advise.

H and I have been living apart for more than two years after he kicked me and our daughter out (more than once). those stories are so painful I cant go into it. 

Not long ago he told me that he was moving in. He didnt ask, he wouldnt discuss it with me apparently I had no say. I rent my home with my daughter. Its a small house but it works for the two of us since she is only 5. I told him I wasnt ready and he wasnt hearing it. He simply wanted to quit paying child support and to have someone to split the bills with. I told him and I do regret having said this...I told him that "I dont think I like you enough to live with you again" and his response was "I dont know if I do either...but I like you enough to split the bills with you."

This isnt the first time he's tried to weasel his way back but everytime something goes terribly wrong...I am probably sabotaging it, in fact im almost certain that I am. 

Three nights ago I had my neighbors over we had a few drinks in the kitchen, H was there told me he was staying over that night. So, after my friends left and I put kiddo down for the night he handed me his phone and told me to read a thread on FB which I have never been a fan of. It was an interesting thread and I made my comments on it...he snatched the phone out of my hand and pretty much called me a moron, though he was much more harsh than that. I asked him to leave since it is my place, I have a sleeping child and he is yelling at me and starting a fight. He didnt leave. He slept in my daughters room since she got use to sleeping with me when we had to share a room, she was in my bed. 


Now, over the last three days I have gotten rotten txt after txt after txt about how I am awful, how he's never loved me, how I ruin everything I touch and (since I am on unemployment) I am mooching off the government. He claims everything I have done and made these last two years without him are all because of him and that even includeds the loan I hold in my name for my car. Worst of all he called me an awful mother. 

I have half a mind to post his txts to FB...his whole family has me friended and I reactivated my account yesterday...but I havent and I wont. I really think people should know how he talks to me but I know it won't do any good.

I am lost, I am sad, I am hurt and I am trying so hard to keep it from my daughter but I sob...and she is always with me. I dont know how to continue, I have used all my savings while unemployed and cannot afford my current attorney fees...for which my attorney did not earn since I am still not legally seperated nor divorced bc of his incompetence. So, i really have nothing and no way out...

I am devistated and have put up with this for nearly 11 years now. I don't know how to move on.


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## hotdogs (Aug 9, 2012)

um...call the cops? If your name is on the lease, he can be escorted out.
And I would definitely save his texts and show them to his family, they could possibly get him help. He's abusive with a classic abuser personality.

It's almost your duty to call the cops. If you don't establish a scenario with the police they're less likely to believe you if anything should actually happen. You know, like him beating the hell out of you or snatching your daughter.


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## Unwind80 (Aug 15, 2012)

I agree that the police are probably your best option. I would work on getting an order of protection.


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

Make a record of everything that he says to you. He is a Grade-A abuser and the situation is not healthy for you or your daughter. If he's not on the deed/lease, kick him out. Seriously. 

If you do make copies of what he says, DO NOT keep them in the house. Safety deposit boxes can be had very cheaply (I've been told as low as $15/year) at some banks and he cannot get to it. At the very least, make copies and give them to a TRUSTED relative/friend who won't tell him about it. You need to get some kind of legal advice so you can expedite the process of getting legally separated and divorced.

I don't know about the States but there are free legal clinics for volatile family disputes such as these. I'm pretty sure that your situation would qualify here - it's worth checking out if they have something similar where you are. DO NOT talk to him about it, just do it.

Try to have a friend over more often so that if/when he does go on verbal tirades, you'll have a witness. When he gets out of hand, call the police. I had a friend whose husband would act like a goody two shoes once the cops showed up. So one night when he was on a rampage, she simply dialed 911 (did not tell him) and left the phone on the hook while he ranted and raved and threw things dispatch heard everything - the cops came and he could not lie to them that time about what was happening.

He has no right to talk to you like that - especially in front of your daughter and no right to be in your house. He moved in because he doesn't have to pay so much in Child Support etc.? Tough sh!t. He's not treating you with respect. You need him out and away.


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