# Should you wear wedding ring when separated?



## lala911 (Feb 23, 2018)

Just wondering if you think you should still wear your wedding rings when you are separated. Since you are technically still married, should you? I am catholic and I was just curious of what thought you have.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

It's entirely what you're comfortable with. Some married people never wear wedding rings. You're free to share your status or not as you choose, and you don't have any obligation to advertise it one way or the other.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Only if you want to!*


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

I took mine off.


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## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

Like what has been said it's truly a personal and in my choice a spiritual/symbolic one. My wife, soon to be ex in about 4 months took hers off last November. She had been wearing it for show the few months prior to that. Affair was May-December and again Late January to about 10 days ago when OMs wife found out again. I'm Catholic but my choice has to do with me believing the person I married and was with for almost 2 decades was a true wife for at least part of that time. I am honoring my vows until they are 'technically' severed. The same reason I still wear my ring is the same reason I'm hesitant for an annulment. An annulment means we basically had a sham marriage. I still believe while the last year was a complete sham by her, a majority of our relationship was true for both of us. Will be interesting to see when I remove it but not until at least the divorce is final.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

If you are working towards fixing the marriage, wear it. If not, don't, and begin moving on.


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## Maxwedge 413 (Apr 16, 2014)

After 6+ years of a hellish marriage, I wore mine all throughout my separation. Because I was still married. After the divorce court hearing I threw it out the window doing 80mph down the highway, because it was then meaningless.


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## [email protected] (Mar 1, 2018)

The wedding ring is a big signal to others that you are married. The point is to be honest and fair with others. 

So if you aren't going to wear the ring then you better be up front right away what your status is. Wearing the ring is something we don't want to do because one glance from a prospective suitor can blow it for you.

We don't have a purple ring or a ring to wear on our pinky that signals "separated". We have an all-or-nothing "ring on marriage finger". So I understand the problem. I see nothing wrong with taking it off provided you never mislead anyone, and that means from the outset.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

lala911 said:


> Just wondering if you think you should still wear your wedding rings when you are separated. Since you are technically still married, should you? I am catholic and I was just curious of what thought you have.


My thoughts are that you should wear your wedding ring until the day your final divorce papers are signed by the judge. You are married until that day.


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## Rick Blaine (Mar 27, 2017)

I wore mine till the divorce was final. I am Catholic. At times it was a millstone around my finger, but I waited...


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## Cromer (Nov 25, 2016)

I wouldn't agree to a separation in the first place. Either you are married or you are not. But, take that for whatever it's worth, I have a failed marriage.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Yes...

And when you create your profile on TAM, indicate your life status, married, not married, etc.
Do not put down *undisclosed.

I did *that to make myself anonymous. 

In the end.....
In the end I became a miscreant...all for the sake of being snappy. Yikes!

The Typist II


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

have both of you discussed the not wearing the ring or not? BTW i am catholic as well but that technically that should not mean anything at it pertains to wedding rings since the symbol of the rings predate Catholicism. and was noted here there are thousands of Catholics who are married and don't wear rings. I suspect that for you its one of the last vestige of your marriage. So do what you think is best for you.


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## 2arebetter (May 3, 2016)

I've honestly been wondering the same thing as the OP lately. I'm going through with a divorce I originally didn't want. I'm working on mentally and emotionally separating form my wife. Do I take it off as a signal of me moving on, or do I keep it as a symbol of my commitment to my vows? I'm not religious.

I guess I don't know either.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

I believe that ultimately, it is your decision entirely.

Religion-wise, it would likely be more acceptable to your faith to keep your ring on until the divorce (in the eyes of the church) is final.

But I am no expert.


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## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

2arebetter said:


> I've honestly been wondering the same thing as the OP lately. I'm going through with a divorce I originally didn't want. I'm working on mentally and emotionally separating form my wife. Do I take it off as a signal of me moving on, or do I keep it as a symbol of my commitment to my vows? I'm not religious.
> 
> I guess I don't know either.


I like Ele's post which seems cut and dry. If you are undecided, wear them til the final day of the marriage and when the divorce is final, take them off.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

My xw broke her vows. The marriage was over, and I had accepted that the correct outcome was divorce. The state had not yet granted the divorce, but that was a technicality. I stopped wearing my ring to signify to her that I no longer was obligated to her as a spouse.

This did not mean I was looking to date. It simply meant I no longer considered myself under the bonds of marriage.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

If the separation is in anticipation of a divorce I don't see any reason to wear the rings. At that point the marriage is over and you're just waiting on the paperwork to catch up with reality.

If the separation is being done with the intention to work on the marriage and divorce isn't certain then you're still married and should wear the rings.


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## lala911 (Feb 23, 2018)

Thank you for all your posts. I decided that I needed to take it off because I need to move on. 

I have been through a lot with this man and I would have walked through fire for him. I was faithful to him and I was devoted to him all the way through the good and the very bad events in our marriage. I had to come to terms that he is no longer the man I married and he is being mislead by another woman. I still remember the night we were in the hospital and the priest came in to bless him. I had asked the priest to bless our rings and when he did, my husbands ring fell down when I handed it back to him and it rolled into the bathroom. I had told him for months to get his ring released and he never did. He wasn't devoted to me the way I was devoted to him. It takes a lot of effort for me everyday to have real clarity and face the fact that he is wrong for me. 

It's time for me to move on and part of that is letting other's know, by means of not wearing a ring, that I am no longer committed to the marriage any longer.


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## Hibee (Dec 26, 2017)

I moved out the marital home at xmas, and wore my ring until the middle of February, when I knew I wasn't going to go back. Up until then I hadn't even considered not wearing it.


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