# Holy pooh, holy pooh



## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

Well it has been a while... 

Not a good update. Im pretty shattered and broken right now, but not as much as my WH... If you have followed some of my posts you may be aware that my husband and I were trying to treat our depression and ADHD. we both were diagnosed. My husbands doctor started him on zoloft, and that had a generally positive effect, minus the zero sex drive.  He was leveled out on that. 

I was started on Sraterra, and I didn't like it so I was put on Welbutrine about a month or 6 weeks later. I liked Welbutrine and it has been okay for me. I lost about 20 lbs on it, but I think by now I gained it back... Anyway, my husband saw how much I liked the welbutirne and suggested to stop zoloft to his doctor and try welbutrine to deal with both the depression and the ADHD, plus he hoped his sex drive would return. I did too.... We had high hopes. 

Well on the welbutrine his sex drive did return, but so did is porn addiction. ALL THE TIME, im mean the kids coould have seen when they came down stairs in the morning. He was masturbating daily and having sex with me daily, plus maybe two or three sessions of sex or masturbation.... up to 5 orgasms a day... I wasnt trying to keep track but it kinda comes up when you note that they are doing it a Lot and it is natural to ask, ("well how much are you doing it?") and he answers honestly, or maybe it is more... But i digress. He also started up a instagram where he followed a lot of the (type of girls) he fetishizes. (ie: not anything i could be) 

He also develops new and weirder fetishes and wants me to get into it. By this time Im a bit weirded out but hey, im an adventurous girl! So i try it for a bit... (not a big fan of it in the end) 

So along with the sex drive came the aggression. After MANY heated fights where the cops were almost called I realized something was happening.... I just could not convince him that the medication could be doing it. 
Then our fight escalates to him going into the bathroom and locking himself in after my gentile confrontation about him watching porn when the kids could randomly come down.... the fight goes on for a while. At this point I think he may hurt himself and I go to get in. He was ignoring me and listening to headphones to drown out my pleas for him to just tell me he was okay, safe and not hurting himself then i would leave him be, but he never answered, so I bashed my way inside. He was surprised since he drowned out my voice and (from his perspective: acted defensively) what he did was grabbed me (hard) and threw me down to the ground (on his eye glasses) later blamed me for breaking them. 

He then called the cops on me, and they came. They thought he was acting like he was on drugs (the welbutrine). They did not arrest me. I did not know I was hurt so I did not try to arrest him. I knew something was the matter...He left for a few hours that day and did not take his phone. On the bank statement it says he went to an ampm and bought soda, and then walked a mile to a sandwich place and got food....Over all I bet this would have taken a few hours. 

When he came home he basically demanded I APOLOGIZE and mend my behavior because he was done with my actions. with my behavior

Two days later on monday he calls the doctor and tells them what happened. He has now kinda tried to smooth things over with me after seeing the nasty DEEP bruises on my arms...But he still says it is my fault at that time. 
Well the doctor takes him off that for five days to level him and then he says he is done with anti depressants and just wants to treat his ADHD. so she prescribes Vyvanse. this makes him fairly calm and kindly...kinda... 

On vyvanse he startes to obsess about lists and programming and AI programming, then before I know it he is in full on frank psychosis. Through this time he explains that he has been a horrible person he has failed every one, he has treated me the worst of anyone and I have been the one who had never really failed him. I only made him feel like **** for failing on fidelity and he hates himself for how bad he had been treating me for YEARS if not since we married. He went full on confession about not only our marriage but his entire life. he never learned to love because of the abandonment of his biological father, and his mother was not there for him when he needed her then he had an abusive alcoholic step father who (later had a break down and came to a similar conclusion about his own actions). 

I think i have seen remorse in him and it is like a scrambled encyclopedia view of his life in the form of this psychotic melt down. 

I had to commit him today. Broke my freaking heart.... He loves me... It is all he talks about to anyone near by if he is chatty. All questions from medical people somehow come back to how much he needs to know if I am okay, and if I will be with him and if I will stay. He does not beg. He does not plead he just never relents to center all thought on me when ever possible... But it is crazy... He is nuts... I dont know if he will level out soon. Our finances wont be able to float long... This is a scary time for me, but all I can think is he is alone tonight. He got bruised up on the stairs when the EMT's took him to the hospital... they relocated him a few hours ago...He is now at the same hospital that we nearly lost our oldest son to ADEM... Im worried sick that he could realize and freak out about that and relive that nightmare. I will see him again tomorrow. 

I love him... And after all he has said this week I forgive him. He has tortured us both long enough. He needs to just come back and live and try to put the pieces back together. 

(This was closure for me. I have all questions answered... Now I want to move on and I cant till he recovers.) 

Im shattered.


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## Oceania (Jul 12, 2018)

threelittlestars I don't know what to say other than I wish I could help you. Just know that my thoughts are with you for yours and your family's wellbeing.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

3littlestars, I am so sorry this is happening to you. How are your children bearing up. Do you have any friends close by that could come and stay with you? At least you have got some closure, stay strong, thinking of you.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

((( Hugs )))


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## FieryHairedLady (Mar 24, 2011)

OP you did the right thing. You need to get him a good doctor who can get his meds leveled out.

I am glad you have some closure.

Now to get him stable again.

This is why I am not a big fan of some RX drugs.

This could get really bad. 

I don't want to go into too much detail, but my eldest dd took her life earlier this year. She had issues, yeah, who doesn't?. But I think the meds she went on to try to treat those issues sent her off the deep end. 

Hang in there and I am here if you need me. 

HUGS


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Holy pooh is right. All you can do is hang on and take it one day at a time. He's in good hands. We're rooting for you!


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

Thank you guys. My boys went to family for the weekend. He went off to the hospital around noon yesterday, and I got the boys from school and shuttled them to their aunts then came back to him in the hospital before he was transferred to a clinic. 

Talked to him this morning... He is too happy... So I know he is still loony. I miss him.... 

As to having someone with me, Im exhausted. I cant handle having someone with me it would exhaust me more... 

As to closure and cheating, I am surprised that it has taken over his mind on this psychosis. To be honest I never really knew how much he did care but (internal conflict, bad coping, and compartmentalization) got the better of him. 

Remorse is confronting your demons, and sadly he only faced them as his mind fell apart. In his state the demons are terrifying for him to see. He is crazy, but his observations are not. He is on point about so much and seeing things so clearly on one end, but he does not see the present now clearly. 

I will head over to see him soon. I need to get to where I am not crying in front of him... I fear he will never be normal again.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

I never once imagined him having a mental break. I never in my entire relationship imagined him being the one to lose his mind, I though between us I would be more likely to need a hold in psych...not that I think im crazy, but that the odds I thought were in my direction for that. I don't know why I am able to function... But i guess I have a history of calm when MAJOR life problems/health problem happen. Only think i do is get super tired and don't eat. But i'm remembering to eat a little since I feel like barfing otherwise. I sis not sleep well... And I woke up briefly confused at everything that happened. One breath at a time, one minute, one hour, one day at a time. I have found that I need to have faith that he will get back to normal. We all need him.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

So sorry for you, the children and your husband. Do you think the Welbutrin helped push him over the edge? For some reason I had that thought reading your opening post. Make sure you take care of yourself. You and your children, both need you. Hope that makes sense.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Sympathy and love.

I sincerely wish for his health, hopefully drug free. I've seen too many people destroyed, turned into zombies for the sake of functionality.

Keep your children's health and your own in mind first.

Take care young lady.


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## Beach123 (Dec 6, 2017)

I'm sorry this has happened.

Where is your boundary? You need to know when you say enough is enough.

And my best guess is he's been doing more than just his prescribed medication.

Hope he can detox and get back on path.

Consider leaving him if he doesn't change.


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

three little stars, so sorry for all you are experiencing. What a scary time!

He needs to be in a safe place and I hope you find comfort that his care is in the hands of professionals. Both Vyvance and Wellbutrin interact with other (even OTC) drugs, food/drinks, and vitamins. The fact that he is dealing with long time demons should result in improvement, but it may take time.

Meanwhile I will pray for your family.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

I am hurting for you and the whole family. Sending you big hugs.

He's in great hands. And you're right in taking it day by day.

Hoping things improve sooner rather than later.


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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

Loving kindness your way...

At least he is safe... and thus you are safe.

I watched my daughter go from slightly scrambled at times at 19 to being diagnosed in university as ADHD and the plethora of drugs they put through her made her 10 times worse... I hate how their shotgun medicine approach psychology makes a tough situation much worse.

Pay very close to his outpatient treatment... do you have a power of attorney that will allow you to make choices necessary to his care?

Remember to breath my friend... try to focus on the things you can control.

Namaste...


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

threelittlestars said:


> I never once imagined him having a mental break. I never in my entire relationship imagined him being the one to lose his mind, I though between us I would be more likely to need a hold in psych...not that I think im crazy, but that the odds I thought were in my direction for that. I don't know why I am able to function... But i guess I have a history of calm when MAJOR life problems/health problem happen. Only think i do is get super tired and don't eat. But i'm remembering to eat a little since I feel like barfing otherwise. I sis not sleep well... And I woke up briefly confused at everything that happened. One breath at a time, one minute, one hour, one day at a time. I have found that I need to have faith that he will get back to normal. We all need him.


Welburtin is implicated in psychotic conditions being revealed https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2738405/

https://www.nami.org/Learn-More/Treatment/Mental-Health-Medications/Bupropion-(Wellbutrin)

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

Beach123 said:


> I'm sorry this has happened.
> 
> Where is your boundary? You need to know when you say enough is enough.
> 
> ...


That is not true, and uh...you could not be more wrong. Plus they did a drug screening blood and urine, he is clean and no...not a dug addict. NEVER been the type to do meth, pills, etc. He is against it and does not run with any crowd. No other friends really. 

and im not leaving him because he had a (perscription) medically induced psychosis. His entire family has weird reactions to meds. If i have not left him for the past cheating online then why would I divorce him for something that he had no control over? would you say divorce a recent paraplegic? I know you mean well.... But you got my entire situation wrong. enough is enough? Really? 

My husband is not an addict. So your words dont really help. Sorry.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

MattMatt said:


> Welburtin is implicated in psychotic conditions being revealed https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2738405/
> 
> https://www.nami.org/Learn-More/Treatment/Mental-Health-Medications/Bupropion-(Wellbutrin)
> 
> My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.


Yes, I read this a few days back. I agree that welbutrine can do this but the psychosis developed on Vyvanse. I do think the welbutrine made him manic. So we think (for now) it was a gradual decline. After talking with nurses and doctors today they think that the welbutrine put him in a manic state and just stopping there would have probably never have evolved into psychosis. Both stimulants can cause elevated stress levels, and stress itself can induce psychosis, as well as keep you there. Lack of sleep can do that too. He is not being given any antipsychotics because they think this is chemically induced and he is cooperative. He should level out in around a week. 

Thank you for your thoughts. Greatly appreciated.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

Heart breaking to see him there. He is in a nice place. Has his own room and bathroom. 

I brought him some things and he was chatting at a table with a woman and another man. He did not see me but they were asking if I had come yet and he said no then blabbed on about me to them. (good stuff) he had not even noticed I was there. So i just stood and watched a moment then decided I spied enough and came to him. He was over joyed to see me and became a sobbing mess. 

He was up and down during the day but I saw him mostly rational, emotional but rational. I think he could be coming out of it... I sure hope so. 

I was there all day from 11 am-8pm. But I woke up at 7 am to get things done before going. It is an Hour drive there and an hour back, so it has been a LONG day.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*You did what it was that you had to in order to preserve your very own health and sanity!

You both will continue to remain in my prayers! *


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

Slept really good last night. Went to bed around 11pm and woke at 8:30. Wanted to sleep another 6 hours, but this felt good and refreshing. 

Called this morning and he was in the shower (good sign) because psychosis made him not groom himself. Now he is caring for himself. Im really happy to hear this. Nervous to see him and hope he is closer to the man I know.


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## Kamstel (Apr 25, 2018)

Wishing you nothing but the best of luck


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## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

Sorry to hear all of this, as others have said, just with there was something we could do because of all of the people that are being affected by this. You and your family will be in my prayers. Keep staying strong as sometimes sheer will, a little luck, help from family and friends and a needed miracle here, can turn this around in time.


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## FieryHairedLady (Mar 24, 2011)

Hang in there kiddo. Praying for healing for hubby.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

So saw him today and he was doing pretty well. The delusions were not there, he did get a little wonkey a few times but that is pretty good considering I was there between 12-8pm. He was emotional and tearful. He is lonely and the nurse said he was crying a lot and missing me. 

Gosh I miss him. But today he was really close to himself. He showered and was clean and calm when I arrived. He was not weepy when he saw me like he was yesterday. 

I think he will likely come home this week. I really really hope so. 

I managed to pool the resources to cover all of Septembers bills and catch us up so we are not behind on anything. Then if we are not behind then we have a little time on all of our bills to recover since he needs to take some time off work. 

We will be tight for a while since we were so behind on the mortgage. I am on a payment plan to catch us up and it is really harsh. Like New York city rent harsh. But we will figure it out. I can sell stuff to help. 

It is looking good provided he can keep his job. Which since this is medication caused he shouldn't. 

I want to thank you all for your thoughts, prayers. I believe they are helping.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

Gosh, im so tired. Kids came home last night and now Im juggling this, and traveling two hours a day to see my husband and make it home (2 HOURS there and back). Got to drag a four year old with me today. 

He is better. I think he will be okay, just got to get him home and time off work and float life for a bit. This has been the toughest time in my life...and that is saying a lot. I have had medical crisis's too often for my taste. 

I may be idealistic, but I think through this break down we finally, FOR real, reconciled. He destroyed himself and me with his pain. It is over. 

I cant go into details because of my exhaustion but everything makes sense to me now. EVERYTHING. 

Just got to get him home to start getting back on the track of a healthy marriage. 

I love him... His brokenness and all.... We have been through a LOT. I think he knows when the going gets tough im his best ally and I think he forgot that for a while. 

Thank you for all the advice, even the wrong advice.  You all are so great.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

Hard day... 

He had a bit of a back slide today. I feel sad and worried he wont get better fast enough for me.... Im stupid impatient. 

ugh... Im breaking down. My energy is tanked. My kids keep fighting... My house is a mess... Im not home long enough to clean. 

They want to keep him till Friday at least.... Makes sense considering his issue this morning that showed he is not better to the point that he needs. Im worrying this is going to be an on going problem. My life is upside down... 

Im not sure where to turn anymore or what to do... Im just so tired and no one is close enough or unemployed to help me. My parents have helped as much as they can and his parents help as much as they can but trust me, it is better that they are not here. 

Im alone right now, and my three kids don't know how to not be kids.... Understandable but really a difficult place to find myself.


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## RoseAglow (Apr 11, 2013)

Hang in there, @threelittlestars. This is a very challenging time but slowly, each day, you are getting through it. You don't need to solve everything today, it is OK to just make it to bedtime for now! Do what you need to do to get some rest and know that it won't be like this forever. 

Are you part of a church?  My church will set up "Make a Meal" sign ups, people will pick a day to cook up dinner and drop it off for families in need. I've seen friends set it up on Facebook as well, if you have anyone who might be able to do this, it can really help! Is there anyone who can watch your four year old so you can get a nap and catch up on some sleep? 

Sending hugs and thoughts/prayers of healing and strength for you and your family.


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## Oceania (Jul 12, 2018)

Hang in there threelittlestars. Hope you have a good or better day today.


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## FieryHairedLady (Mar 24, 2011)

Keep your chin up. Is he the only one working? Can he get disability or something if this is an ongoing problem?


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

He is doing better. He will likely go home on friday. Not clear to work right now. Maybe a few weeks. 

He could go on disability but it will be at significantly less than he makes and he is the only main income. I do work a bit, but not enough to pay a mortgage.... He should be back to work long before the disability would ever be approved. So, kinda pointless to do it. 

Things are likely going to be alright, but my anxiety over this nightmare is high. 

We have help and support with money, to the tune of 10k if I need. So far I have accepted 3500$ to make ends meet. I hope I wont need more.


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

threelittlestars, when he comes out of his psychosis, I hope he remembers everything he said during his breakdown so he can begin to work on the pain inside of himself. If he faces his pain he might become a healthy, whole person, and not need to act out anymore.

I'm rooting for you and for your marriage.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

He is out of his psychosis and he does remember, but other things are spotty. 

Im sure he does not remember everything.... But he gets the gist. He is less emotional now though. (this is a good thing) 

I have seen much less of him the last three days because I got the kids back. They are leaving to go to grandparents this weekend so that if he gets to come home on Friday he can come home to little stimulation and stress. I have managed to put aside a little money so that we could go somewhere nice to eat and breath a sigh of relief. Nothing fancy, just a chance for him to feel free to move about. He has been locked up for a very long time. 

I worry about him feeling cooped up. But it looks like he could go back to work in a week or two maybe three if it is advised. I cant believe how much work he will be out of... Just mind boggling.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

So the process is starting for him to come home... Im excited and nervous. He will be released tomorrow or Saturday. I have arranged for his mom and dad to pick up the grandkids today because tomorrow will be confusing with him possibly getting out. 

I am irritable at the woman (his mom) because she has pushed and pushed to see him and truth is he does not want to see her... anyway.... 

So since this all happened he (found god) you could say. My husband has a very scientific mind and he always doubted god existed. He never wanted to lead a life like that, he just wanted to be a good man... But since the psychosis he believes in god. He did not hear voices, he just thinks god exists now, and decided he wanted to go to church. 

I was raised kinda catholic, kinda Lutheran. My father (WAS) mormon... But never liked it. My mom has always believed in god and I always said night prayers and meal prayers while growing up. But I never went to church... 

Now we are going to be church goers... I am feeling weird by this, but Im going with it. There is a lovely catholic church and private school just blocks from our house and the music I hear from them on youtube is enough to make me think it is not a bad idea to try. 

He wants to fully convert.... 

I am on the fence... not about conversion, but about this change in him. Something very profound happened to him in this event and I dont know what else has changed. Honestly I feel like invasion of body snatchers! But hey it is for church and not something else. I am going with it. If we join the parish and our kids convert they can go to a better school, what with all the issues in the schools right now, might be a wise choice.


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

I love my Lutheran faith heritage--we have schools too. Our beliefs fall sort of between Protestant and Catholic.

More importantly, you may have to visit several churches to find the best one for you. To me, the people are the most crucial part.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

Your husband is so lucky to have you. I hope his homecoming is a good one.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

He is home. Finally. His road to recovery will be long. His memory is SUPER POOR... i worry about his work and he will need to remember things. 

We are going to be super quiet for now. I need a long nap and he does too... Well for now that is the update. 

I am so happy he is home.


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## BarbedFenceRider (Mar 30, 2018)

I am on the fence... not about conversion, but about this change in him. Something very profound happened to him in this event and I dont know what else has changed. Honestly I feel like invasion of body snatchers! But hey it is for church and not something else. I am going with it. If we join the parish and our kids convert they can go to a better school, what with all the issues in the schools right now, might be a wise choice.


I will pray for you and yours...

Just so you don't feel alone in this...I had a very pivotal moment in MY life concerning my faith and a very stressful event. I feel more rounded and grounded so to speak. I will pray that you receive guidance and love during this time.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

threelittlestars said:


> So since this all happened he (found god) you could say. My husband has a very scientific mind and he always doubted god existed. He never wanted to lead a life like that, he just wanted to be a good man... But since the psychosis he believes in god. He did not hear voices, he just thinks god exists now, and decided he wanted to go to church.
> 
> I was raised kinda catholic, kinda Lutheran. My father (WAS) mormon... But never liked it. My mom has always believed in god and I always said night prayers and meal prayers while growing up. But I never went to church...
> 
> ...


Ugh, this could open up a whole new can of worms for you, unfortunately. Sometimes when people "find God", they make life hell for those around them who don't share the same view. 

I am glad he is home, that should take a lot of burden off of you! I hope he makes good progress!


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

To be honest I am fully in support of the church, and attending. We have just been together 15 years and this has not been an interest of his. We will see. The conversion into Catholic faith is not over night so he can change his mind anytime. 

I dont know what the future holds, but he is a different person right now. But i think there are shades of the same person.... So far I see this as a good thing. I could not get along with him before. Time will tell.... Im not overly excited about it or worried at the moment. 

We did go to the church today. It felt right. Something about the place felt right for us.... We will see.


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

@threelittlestars if I may make a suggestion. Stay away from SSRI’s and SNRI’s. From personal experience I can tell you they do more harm than good. Find you a good holistic doctor, preferably a DO, or a naprapathic doctor for you and your husband. 

I would recommend you find a naprapathic or holistic doctor and ask them having a mineral test done via a hair sample. A small swatch of your hair can reveal much about what is going on within your and your husbands bodies. If you are not familiar with such, PM me. Many times the mineral content of our bodies causes problems. A good mineral test using your hair tells much. Find an MD that is open to other alternative approaches. I have a nephew who is an MD, and he has come around to realizing throwing a pill at everything is not a good approach. 

Secondly, how is your and your husbands diet? Do you eat processed foods? If so, processed foods cause the body many problems.Diet can cause many mental issues, too. Your diet is critical to your mental health as well as your overall health. 

I went through hell literally with doctors until I went to a naprapathic doctor. I was on heavy antidepressants for what was thought was depression turned out to be PTSD later. I no longer take any anti depressants, statins or prescriptions of any kind. I have supplements based on my mineral composition and extensive blood tests. My wife has followed suit and feels wonderful. I lost a tremendous amount of weight, too.

Please just do not let your physician continue to throw pills at your husband.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

Threelittlestars, please follow an actual medical doctor's direction. Lavender and yarrow root do not fix mental illness.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

personofinterest said:


> Threelittlestars, please follow an actual medical doctor's direction. Lavender and yarrow root do not fix mental illness.




Although i agree, i have to also agree taking medical advice got us here too... But hey, we have to comply with medical because of his security clearance... If he wants to keep it he needs to be seen as compliant with medical advice.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

Plus right now he NEEDS antipsychotics, otherwise the delusions COULD return.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Please try to put some brakes on the religious conversion thing. I'm just an amateur psychologist but it's pretty obvious he latched onto it - like so many people I've known - in a super bad spot as a way out of it, as something to FEEL GOOD ABOUT and as something to TELL him that there's a solution. 

But that's a solution without doing the hard work on HIMSELF. It's a beard, if you will. Please be VERY careful that he doesn't dive into the religion without giving adequate time for his self-reflection work and whatever homework his psychologist gives him. Because the religious high won't last and by the time he realizes it won't last, he'll have skipped the period in his life where he should have done the real psychological work that he REALLY needs to fix his demons and become whole.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

turnera said:


> Please try to put some brakes on the religious conversion thing. I'm just an amateur psychologist but it's pretty obvious he latched onto it - like so many people I've known - in a super bad spot as a way out of it, as something to FEEL GOOD ABOUT and as something to TELL him that there's a solution.
> 
> But that's a solution without doing the hard work on HIMSELF. It's a beard, if you will. Please be VERY careful that he doesn't dive into the religion without giving adequate time for his self-reflection work and whatever homework his psychologist gives him. Because the religious high won't last and by the time he realizes it won't last, he'll have skipped the period in his life where he should have done the real psychological work that he REALLY needs to fix his demons and become whole.


Turnera, you expressed my thoughts, thank you!


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

I agree with all the above. He will be in therapy, with a psychologist and me along the way. Religion does not have all the answers. 

I hope he will try to do the work, but Im all for the conversion. Not putting the breaks on that because there is a lot he can get from it, in the form of support and friends...community. He has been selfish for a long time. (according to him) 

He believes in god, he is not overly religious. I am the one teaching him the rules of the Catholic faith... (there is a lot to know)

He is safe from joining a cult. He is too scientific for that. He wants guidance... 

RCIA is a long enough process, he can back out whenever. 

To be honest I have found comfort in the church. The beauty and music. I am lucky to have such a lovely church. Lighting a candle for my loved ones is focusing and comforting. I dont automatically believe, but it does focus my intentions and wishes for those I pray for. 

He has been a little weird yesterday... He was off... Today he was better. 

Overall I worry he will relapse, or is actually bipolar or schizophrenic... I know I should not be concerned, but I am. 

I love this man, but i am scared of potentials. Could he hurt me? Like what happened to my neighbor at the hand of his wife?


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

I guess I wasn't clear. This is akin to a man fresh out of a sexless marriage. How many times have we warned such men on here 'DON'T go into a new relationship too soon!'?

What I tell the men is this: Don't date a new girl you meet after leaving your wife more than once a week. Why? Because if you see a NEW person more often than that, your PEA chemicals in your brain will TAKE OVER and make you believe you're in love, no matter what anyone says.

Those pesky PEA chemicals - the same chemicals that give you a high from conversion - convince you that you are on the right path and that nothing else matters.

So what I meant was...take it slow. If he wants to go to church, fine - once a week. Twice at most. Any more often than that and he is falling 'head over heels' in love with Christianity, instead of doing the work the newly divorced man should be doing on himself.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

turnera said:


> I guess I wasn't clear. This is akin to a man fresh out of a sexless marriage. How many times have we warned such men on here 'DON'T go into a new relationship too soon!'?
> 
> What I tell the men is this: Don't date a new girl you meet after leaving your wife more than once a week. Why? Because if you see a NEW person more often than that, your PEA chemicals in your brain will TAKE OVER and make you believe you're in love, no matter what anyone says.
> 
> ...



He just wants to go the normal amount. THANK GOODNESS... You are right and I agree the level that you speak is unhealthy.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

Well 6 months later.... 

I can't believe it is that long since the events of this thread happened. Other threads cover some bumps and hick-ups along the way so I wont get into those. 

I just wanted to say. HE IS BETTER. still on meds, still a little off personality wise, but he is stable and not mean, or causing issues. I love him very much and he has been a better man/husband/ and father since he came home. 

We have been attending the Catholic church and will be baptized next month. 

He is level headed about the religion, and does not cling to the bible. In-fact he groans a little in RCIA when someone is droning on and on.

We have enjoyed what being a part of the community is like, however many of my more liberal political views remain what they always were. So Im not fully converted I suppose. But I understand the arguments better. 

We are going very well right now, and hope to do even better. 

Financially we caught up in January. and by feb we had savings from Tax return. So all the drama and money problems fully resolved. 

Alls well on the home front.


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## FieryHairedLady (Mar 24, 2011)

Glad to hear things are turning around for you.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

@threelittlestars That's good to hear!

And congratulations on your upcoming baptisms! :smthumbup:


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

It's nice to see a happy post here every once in a while.


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