# Confused.... need advice



## roxiehart (Aug 30, 2008)

Okay here is my story last year around May my husband started acting weird. He went to vegas with a partner of his and when he came back things were different. It turns out the partner had a girlfriend who had a roommate named karla. So once he met here he took three trips to vegas in 2 months. We have been married 8 years at that time. I called him in on it he denied everything, I know just like a man, well that got me thinking he was cheating on me. So I dealt with it till february of this year, I met someone on line and we started seeing each other, my husband didn't care. I did it to see if he would get jealous and he didn't. So I continued doing my thing on the side thinking that was what he was doing. But it turns out I was wrong he never cheated until, this weekend. 
He served me divorce papers on July 4th so I know he wants out, but he is still sleeping with me. I have gotten into a very serious relaitonship since June 18th, because his anger issue is just so bad I can't take it. So here we are now, been served divorce papers, he just spent the weekend with his girl Karla and I am just heart broken. Its like I want him back does that make sense. I am so confused on what to do, need someones advice besides my friends. Its like the minute he told me he was with her my heart broke. I am dealing with so much right now too, my mom died on July 10th, which was also my daughter's 16th birthday, so life is really sucky for me right now. I feel bad getting in another relationship still having feelings for my husband. does any of this make sense to anyone. He is going to be home soon from his weekend with her and I don't know what to say or how to act. jUst very confused.


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## DeniseK (Jun 25, 2009)

Well I can't say that i agree with the way you handled it from the beginning...but what in the world makes you think he WASN'T having an affair before? You suddenly believed him? Three trips to vegas is rediculous.....if your wife is unhappy with it. Was the trip for business?

Mistakes are made..but it sounds like he wanted out long before he filed for divorce. And it sounds like a pretty normal feeling to not want him to leave even if you are very hurt at him. But why don't you want him to leave....you know he is with someone else. He has given you every reason to let him go. 

Marriage is a partnership....was created for a man and a woman to become as one....it's the whole purpose of the union. When the union is broken, it's like a part of you is ripped out and thrown away......leaving a big empty space. You share things with this person that are serious and personal and you put all of your trust into this person.....that is why it is so hard to divorce.

Some people are hard hearted...but everyone who goes through a divorce suffers in some way or another.

I am so sorry for your loss of your mother and your pain.....but stop sleeping with a man who is sleeping wiht some girl .....you could catch something....

And your feelings for your husband will carry on for a long time...possibly for the rest of your life....you do have a child together ...right? Give yourself time to heal.

Good luck.....take one day at a time.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

I think you need to stop sleeping with everyone and even stop dating until you get on your feet. Your putting yourself in a bad situation and I would bet anything you end up single after this is all said and done, no husband and no BF.
Stop sleeping with everyone, stop dating. Get your act together as your not in the right frame of mind to pick a good partner right now and will make a terrible mistake if you try.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

This is a time for you to focus on YOU. Get counseling to deal with your self-esteem issues. Learn to be totally happy alone, and maybe then you can try dating. Sounds like you "need" someone to love you to feel good about yourself, and you will never be truly happy or find a good guy to be with, if you don't take care of that need. You will overlook too many faults, etc., just to "be" with someone, and that will make you unhappier in the long run. Best of luck.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

sisters359 said:


> This is a time for you to focus on YOU. Get counseling to deal with your self-esteem issues. Learn to be totally happy alone, and maybe then you can try dating. Sounds like you "need" someone to love you to feel good about yourself, and you will never be truly happy or find a good guy to be with, if you don't take care of that need. You will overlook too many faults, etc., just to "be" with someone, and that will make you unhappier in the long run. Best of luck.




:iagree::iagree::iagree:


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