# Real Life Fatal Attraction ****



## Prudence222 (Jun 25, 2014)

My husband agreed to end it with the OW, Therapist said I need to hear the conversation. He refused saying it was mean to her and he would do it and then tell me. Next night he says he understands why and will call again on speaker and I can listen and talk if I need. I was going to be civil but make my point and was not at all prepared for what she said. She said she thinks its unfair of me to ask him to stop calling and texting and skyping her cause they are just close friends. I called her on it cause I read her sexts and she says well yea they flirted cause I couldn't keep him happy so he called her. Then says I'm a bad mom cause there were times he would call her and she could hear me and my daughter arguing in the background. I morphed into a latino street savy chick and said keep this up and youll regret it cause I know where you live and youll be sorry. She kept on saying how shes known my husband for longer than me (30 yrs) weve been married 28 and they are closer because I chose to be an alchoholic ( I am and am 4 months sober) . Chose. AAAAHHHH Don't know how to handle this. My husband did do what he said and I lost it but now that **** is out there and she's not going to stop. Help


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Prudence222 said:


> My husband agreed to end it with the OW, Therapist said I need to hear the conversation. He refused saying it was mean to her and he would do it and then tell me. Next night he says he understands why and will call again on speaker and I can listen and talk if I need. I was going to be civil but make my point and was not at all prepared for what she said. She said she thinks its unfair of me to ask him to stop calling and texting and skyping her cause they are just close friends. I called her on it cause I read her sexts and she says well yea they flirted cause I couldn't keep him happy so he called her. Then says I'm a bad mom cause there were times he would call her and she could hear me and my daughter arguing in the background. I morphed into a latino street savy chick and said keep this up and youll regret it cause I know where you live and youll be sorry. She kept on saying how shes known my husband for longer than me (30 yrs) weve been married 28 and they are closer because I chose to be an alchoholic ( I am and am 4 months sober) . Chose. AAAAHHHH Don't know how to handle this. My husband did do what he said and I lost it but now that **** is out there and she's not going to stop. Help


Well done for your first four months of being sober.

You will both need counselling and not just for your marital issues. Good luck for your future together. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

She sounds very manipulative. Don't try to converse with that. Just say no contact and report her for harassment if she ignores it.


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## IIJokerII (Apr 7, 2014)

You didn't choose to be an alcoholic, people don't choose to be addicted to anything, evens and circumstances that induce a choice starts the path but when the body becomes dependent on the drug of choice it is often way too late to identify it as an addiction, good for you for staying clean during this ordeal as well. 

Given the length of time they have known each other and the extent of what you know they have talked about you have quite the battle to wage here as I, as well as you, are sure good and pleasant things have not been toted around about you behind the scenes. And with her challenging you on the phone and citing your supposed, and past, issues she will not let go so easily. 

With your husband at the very least sounding like he is willing to do what it takes and you apparently wanting to go forward too, for now anyway, you have to make sure you hubby isolates himself from her in every way and at all costs. But I think he needs to how should we say this kindly, fear the outcome from pissing you off by his betrayal vs her anger for not hurting you to satisfy her desire for your husband.

Are you up for this?


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## commonsenseisn't (Aug 13, 2014)

Don't engage with the other woman. It's like wrestling in the mud with a pig. You just get dirty and the pig likes it.

It's your husbands job to fight off the other woman. He made this mess, he needs to fix it. In fact you and your therapist should make it clear that if he is not protective to you then he will get the boot. 

Don't feed your husbands ego by gifting him the spectacle of two women competing for him. In fact, you might consider his lame performance of not putting the other woman in her place as grounds of withdrawing reconciliation. 

If your therapist does not heartily endorse this philosophy, then it's time for a new therapist. 

Just because you have had problems with alcohol does not mean you don't deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. And that means how you treat yourself too. Good luck.


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

The bad news, alcoholism can start with the first drink. 

The really good news, it ALWAYS stops with the last drink. And that was 4 months ago.


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## thummper (Dec 19, 2013)

commonsenseisn't said:


> Don't engage with the other woman. *It's like wrestling in the mud with a pig. You just get dirty and the pig likes it.* :rofl:
> It's your husbands job to fight off the other woman. He made this mess, he needs to fix it. In fact you and your therapist should make it clear that if he is not protective to you then he will get the boot.
> 
> *Don't feed your husbands ego by gifting him the spectacle of two women competing for him. * In fact, you might consider his lame performance of not putting the other woman in her place as grounds of withdrawing reconciliation.
> ...


You're right on about the "spectacle of two women competing for him." Not sure why, but some guys really get off on watching two women in a "cat fight."


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

the more troubling aspect is that your husband kept quiet and didn't make it clear to her that is his decision and clearly state that she is not to contact him again


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Prudence222 said:


> I morphed into a latino street savy chick and said keep this up and youll regret it cause I know where you live and youll be sorry.


:rofl:

Made me laugh.

Ok, back on topic: who cares what she says? He probably told her horrible things about you to justify the affair (I know you don't want to hear that but ti's true) so she thinks you suck. You already KNOW she sucks. Why waste your time on her? 

He needs to end it, completely, with her. That means no more talking to her, texting, blocking her from his phone/facebook/whatever other medium they communicated in.

If she's married, call her husband and tell him about the affair.


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

YOur therapist said listen, not talk.
You should not have talked.


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