# implementing hardcore 180 today



## paramore (Jan 11, 2011)

I have had enough, even though I love him with my whole heart, I can't be vulnerable anymore. I need encouragement, smartass comments, whatever to boost my strength and humor to do this. I need to detach, as much as I adore this man....whoever knows my story comment, if you don't, look back on my threads. I spent the last hour or so thinking of devious things I could do to make myself lol, that was very helpful. I won't do them one included hacking his facebook and posting embarassing stuff like, I am coming out of the closet, don't tell my wife, HAHA, I won't do it, never ever ever...the thoughts help me. Any ideas comments funny stuff welcome. I do like the idea I got off the other thread for cutting crotches out of his undies or itching powder or poison ivy LOL!!!


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## paramore (Jan 11, 2011)

problem is right now I want to be devious LOL, it brings me humor. Chainsaw isn't working, I find myself wanting to do things that annoy or piss him on purpose LOL. I find myself wanting to start separating his laundry from me and the kids, I want to dip his toothbrush in a stinky toilet, I want to take his carkeys and give him a different version of the *stinkpalm* if you have ever seen mallrats, aka *stinkpalm* haha, I have a hard time not wanting to do passive aggressive stuff for my own self satisfaction LOL


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## Lilyana (Apr 12, 2011)

things I have done since i thought he might be having an affair...

1. Drastic change to my looks. I got a haircut and color. COMPLETELY DIFFERNT. He told me I looked hot right away, thought to myself, "eat ur heart out sucker"

2. Joined Yoga. I like it, it relaxes me when it feels like all I do all day is stress out lately.

3. Got pissed off when he told me he would give me all rights to the kids because he wanted time for himself, so i cut holes in all the crotches of his underwear.

4. got pissed again at the comment he made about wanting a crystal ball so he could see the future and if it would work out between him and OW, so I swept the kitchen floor and poured all the stuff in the dustpan in his bottle of axe for men bodywash.

5. Am tempted to go into his bedroom right now as he sleeps and shave off one of his eyebrows.. dare me?


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Come visit me  I swear there is lots of fun stuff to do in a state filled with nothing but cows and corn! Do any of your pets need their teeth cleaned??? LOL


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## Lilyana (Apr 12, 2011)

There is a buffalo farm not far from my house.. we could toss buffalo chips at his car for a couple hours


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Listen to ing though, he is right. You have to not care! And it is so hard to not care because you do care. My H right now as I type this is off with "her" It's very hard because my heart tells me he should be here with me. He's my husband, not hers! But, I've had to turn off my heart and turn on the switch to my head and realize that if I was not good enough for him but some floozie was, then to hell with him. I'm better that. I'm worth something. You are worth something too and if he can't see that, screw him.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Lilyana said:


> There is a buffalo farm not far from my house.. we could toss buffalo chips at his car for a couple hours


cow chips are pretty sturdy once dry. They do make great frisbees


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## paramore (Jan 11, 2011)

ohhhhh ing, are you dating? Is that such a good idea?


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## The 13th_Floor (Mar 7, 2011)

paramore said:


> ohhhhh ing, are you dating? Is that such a good idea?


No, it's not a good idea. It's a GREAT idea! What better way to let a wayward know that you're not going to sit around and be their doormat?


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## Lilyana (Apr 12, 2011)

I was on facebook the other day, and my H was standing behind me watching (all i do on there is play damn farmville lol)

I have a friend on there who plays dart league, he is married as well and I never usually talk to ANYONE on facebook. 

So this man messeges me and asks if I'm going to play in the tournament on friday. I say yeah, i'll be there i'm sure. To which he replied "awesome see you there" (to add a side note, he runs the bar and is trying to get as many people in there to play as he can)

Completely innocent messege... H reads it as i must be up to something with this dude lol.. it was kind of funny to see him freaking out over nothing when hes the one messing around. Guilty conscience getting to him i guess lol


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

The 13th_Floor said:


> No, it's not a good idea. It's a GREAT idea! What better way to let a wayward know that you're not going to sit around and be their doormat?


I often find myself day-dreaming about going on a date and having my H see me out on the date. And I'm laughing, smiling, happy, I'm having the best time ever and I looked hot as hell too and he gets to have all the heart ache and pain for a change.


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## Lilyana (Apr 12, 2011)

There was a man at my work that flirted with me a few months ago.. I quickly dropped him telling him I'm married and not interested. Haven't spoken to him since. Sure I've had the evil thought of asking him out. But it would only be vengence dating.. don't think thats healthy either.. and probably not good for flirty coworker lol


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## paramore (Jan 11, 2011)

LOL, I would love it if someone would at least flirt with me, I have seen guys eyeing me, even though it was at walmart LOL. It was nice to know I still have some mojo, but I couldn't justify dating right now to save my life, I am committed to my husband, despite my long term and recent past.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

I will get into dating eventually. I'm not in a rush to go out and "revenge date" I'm working, I'm going to school, I have kids and animals to care for, where would I find the time? But the thought though of having a man give me attention, buy me flowers or just tell me I'm pretty is very welcoming. The only time my husband gave me attention was when he wanted sex. Other than that, he would ignore me, if I tried to initiate communication with him, he'd get pissy because he was watching tv and I rudely interrupted. In 15years, he's brought me flowers maybe 4 or 5 times. He would only tell me I'm pretty if I asked him "how do I look today?" He would never just say it.


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## Lilyana (Apr 12, 2011)

LOL my H never learned.. I hate roses.. my favorite flowers are lily's and EVERYBODY that knows me knows this... 

He sent me flowers for anniversarys usually ( not for a long time tho) and they would always be roses! I would say, "do you remember I don't like roses?" he would say, "sh*t i forgot". but he would do the same thing the next year.

Little things like that should have been a huge tip eh?


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

or how about when my husband did not buy me a Christmas present or a birthday present but he went out and brought the OW presents.


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## Lilyana (Apr 12, 2011)

or my H texting me happy anniversary on our anniversary.. then went over to his sisters to drink and hang with OW that night..


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