# Needing an Ear



## michelley (Aug 11, 2012)

I can't believe I found this site, but greatful to have a place of support. I have for years felt that I have no one to talk to except my husband of six years because you just don't want friends to know your problems or have to trust that they wouldn't talk around your other friends. But who can I talk to when my husband won't talk to me when he's upset?
That being said, I'm glad to have a place to come to seek advice and to be able to help others as well. 

I'm in one room of the house, my husband is in the bedroom. He's angry and hurt, I'm hurt and scared more than angry as I was. Hurtful things were said, I had even touched on a subject that is sensitive for him and he cried. Then was angry and blurted out that he wanted a divorce. A couple years ago, we had a fight to where it escalated to the "D" word but everything worked itself out. But this time I think he means it. 
Times are tough right now, as I am out of work. We had to get a payday loan because he said we needed money for the weekend. We had planned to go out on a boat trip with friends, but then in the final hour he said he didn't want to go. Whenever we have an event planned with friends, he's all for it and excited then bails in the final hour. I was already upset because even though things are tight, he is still going on an online gambling site, even though I have told him not to. He feels I have no say as I am not working and he has always made sure that bills are still paid. However, with a payday loan, and a $1000 debt to another person, I feel its absurd for him to be gambling. He feels that he has to when were this low. So, you see that there are a couple issues already here. I freaked on him for cancelling with friends, and he said he didn't want to go because of how uncomfortable he feels in that situation with friends boating, but I didn't realize that because he was so gun ho to go to them and around me, it wasn't until the last hour that I heard of it. But when he said it, he was upset, teary, that I didn't understand and that was it he said he was done. I was angry, but now feel like crap. I'm sorry that I hurt him, but only if he told me the real reason, I would have understood. He doesn't believe that. 
I don't know what to do, I just want to say I'm sorry and be okay with whatever he decides, but he's angry and won't listen to me now. And still it doesn't solve my issues with him gambling at this time. I welcome any thoughts.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

How are you both? He sounds very immature. I don't think the boating argument is why your fighting? What is the resentment about?
Is money the cause of most of your marriage problems? Does he gamble on a regular basis or when things are bad?


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