# Birthdays...



## ScubaSteve61 (Mar 20, 2012)

x


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## pollywog (May 30, 2013)

Happy late birthday.

I can relate, my birthday this year was the worst one I have ever had.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

Grimly familiar. But the way I look at it is this: you know how she feels about special days in general and about you in particular. It's good information. What you do with it is up to you.

At a minimum, you know what her expectations should reasonably be on her special days.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

One year I got a vacuum cleaner his OW had picked out......

Sorry your birthday wasn't what you'd hoped. If she's just not a big "special day" kind of person, then you need to let her know - clearly and calmly - that you were disappointed and why and what you'd like to have done differently. However, if this is just the dynamic that's in play in your relationship as a whole, it may be time for some MC or re-thinking of the marriage.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Happy belated,Steve.I'm sorry that your wife is self absorbed and so shut off that she can't even take the time or make the effort to celebrate your birthday.
You know you have the power to fix your situation if you're willing to apply the advice you've been given on tam.


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## inquizitivemind (Jul 16, 2013)

Awwwww...Happy Belated Birthday. Sorry your day was so crappy. You know if I dont remind my husband like the day before or make my own plans, he won't remember. He CANNOT remember dates to save his life. I usually just keep reminding him of what gift I want and also I make some kind of plans for us. I wish he would surprise me with remembering, but honestly, it ain't gonna happen ever!


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

That's just sad. I think you need to talk to her about it.


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## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

I agree it's very sad. Happy Belated Birthday!! Today is my husbands birthday and I can't imagine not celebrating with him and making him feel special. We have a big night planned... 

You do need to talk to her about this.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

She's completely checked out Steve.


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## AnnieAsh (Aug 22, 2012)

I second Diwali. Tell her directly you were disappointed and what you want next time. No mind reading allowed.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

Sorry to hear that, Steve. Even though we're not children anymore, we still want some acknowledgement of our birthday.

*
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!*


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## ASummersDay (Mar 4, 2013)

I know nothing about your marriage beyond what is presented in this thread, so sorry if I'm way off-base. But to me, this neglect seems to be a symptom of some other issues. 

Everyone shows love differently - I get that - but seriously? If your wife can't even make the effort to do something special for you once a year, that's messed up.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

MrsDavey said:


> I know nothing about your marriage beyond what is presented in this thread, so sorry if I'm way off-base. But to me, this neglect seems to be a symptom of some other issues.
> 
> Everyone shows love differently - I get that - but seriously? If your wife can't even make the effort to do something special for you once a year, that's messed up.


:iagree: Sorry


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Me too.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Me too.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

diwali123 said:


> *She's completely checked out Steve*.


:iagree:

So sorry, Steve. TAM threw you a b'day party! 



So what are you going to do about the fact that she's checked out? You sure she's "going to Karate"? :scratchhead:


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Would she be interested in coming here?


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## ScubaSteve61 (Mar 20, 2012)

x


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## ScubaSteve61 (Mar 20, 2012)

x


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Maybe it could open her eyes, see that her behavior is a bit off. No? Ok, just a thought.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

ScubaSteve61 said:


> Yeah, she's going there. And I don't know. Not sure she was ever really checked in.


SSteve, you need to do SOMETHING about this. You're too good of a guy to sit and waste away.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Is she narcissistic?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

This is what I see, and I am sure others do.
You are a great funny, caring guy that is good looking and always nice. You are outgoing and must be fun to be around. Not to mention a very smart guy.

It breaks our little hearts to hear you:
1. put yourself down
2. that you are not getting what you should be in a marriage and I am referring to love

It is important to feel wanted and needed. I can over kill it with birthdays and I know not everyone celebrates it as I do  but, this was clearly important to you. 

You have shown to be a caring husband and father to her kids. You seem to put more effort than she does. And while we are only hearing your story, I am sure there are way to fix your situation.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

mablenc said:


> And while we are only hearing your story, I am sure there are way to fix your situation.


I'd suggest letting her come home only to find an empty scuba closet, but I'm in one of those moods.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Wow... Sorry your birthday sucked like that! 

What you describe is incredibly sad.....you weren't even shown basic kindness and caring...never mind being made a fuss off on your birthday. 

That is not what marriage is. But I'm sure you know that.


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## ScubaSteve61 (Mar 20, 2012)

x


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

I'm sorry, Steve. I wish I had advice for you. Happy Birthday. You don't deserve that.


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## soulsearch (Aug 2, 2013)

*Re: Re: Birthdays...*



GTdad said:


> I'd suggest letting her come home only to find an empty scuba closet, but I'm in one of those moods.


I agree. It must be something in the water, because I'm peeved today too.

There is no excuse for a spouse to act that way. Hell, even polite social interaction dictates SOME acknowledgment of a total strangers birthday. You could have received better walking into a bar or restaurant and announcing that it was your birthday.

There is never excuse for rude, selfish behavior, and I hope you don't let her get way with such without at least stating that it hurt to be forgotten.


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## ScubaSteve61 (Mar 20, 2012)

You're a trouble maker and a homewrecker, do NOT contact me again.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

No one here is a home wrecker, on the contrary this a site supports marriages. Every marriage can be saved of both parties set their pride aside and work together. One thing this site does offer is to open peoples eyes to abusive behavior. Abusers don't like to hear this, but if you love someone you have to take responsibility for yourself.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

ScubaSteve61 said:


> You're a trouble maker and a homewrecker, do NOT contact me again.


To which of the many members of TAM are you directing this?

I can easily tell this is Steve's wife and not Steve. Welcome to the forum. I'm sure you're hurt by the discovery. But also consider this as a chance to work on your marriage and not a harm to it.

This website is wonderful, it helped me in my marriage in many ways. Take advantage of it yourself.


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## RedRose14 (Aug 15, 2013)

ScubaSteve61 said:


> You're a trouble maker and a homewrecker, do NOT contact me again.


Mrs Steve, your husband is an exceptional man, he loves you immensely, all his friends here want the best for him, nobody wants to wreck your home, everyone has always been supportive towards Steve, we all care about him, he's a great guy


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## AnnieAsh (Aug 22, 2012)

Mrs Steve, I assume? We are here to support marriages and people. Come back and the kind people here will do whatever they can to assist.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

FrenchFry said:


> I should have know there was something real strange going on getting a report on mablenc. :rofl:


I got reported!! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LanieB (Jan 22, 2013)

WTH??!!


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## Davelli0331 (Apr 29, 2011)

Somehow I doubt neither she nor Steve ever comes back, unless it's her to continue telling everyone how awful they are. Too much uncomfortable truth for Mrs Steve to allow Steve to stick around, gotta keep that boy in the dark.

So long, Steve.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

I hope Steve comes back. He's a good person with a great sense of humor.


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

Mrs. Steve most all of us came to this site at one time or another because we were struggling in our marriage. That is what this forum is for, we are all here to support each other and try and help each other build a happy healthy marriage. Your husband Steve is a very nice young man that seems to care very deeply for you. He really does seem to want to build a happy marriage with you. I hope you will give us a chance to get to know you and be your friend also. I will be praying for the two of you, hope you both can talk through this.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

:wtf:


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## ScubaSteve61 (Mar 20, 2012)

Steve is NOT coming back until after the divorce is finalized. You people suggested divorce, an affair, made sexual comments... We'll you can have him now.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

ScubaSteve61 said:


> Steve is NOT coming back *until after the divorce is finalized*. You people suggested divorce, an affair, made sexual comments... We'll you can have him now.


Steve is a lucky man


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

ScubaSteve61 said:


> Steve is NOT coming back until after the divorce is finalized.


Both of you are welcome anytime. Steve, because he's a great guy. You, because you just may read something that will help you in either this or a future relationship.

You may want to get your own identity, though.


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## ScubaSteve61 (Mar 20, 2012)

It's easy to judge when you get one side of a story.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

ScubaSteve61 said:


> It's easy to judge when you get one side of a story.


You're right, it is. And one of the handicaps of sites like this is that typically we get only one side.

What's your side of the story?


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

I am so sorry it worked out the way for you two Mrs Steve. I was praying you two could work it out. There are a lot of people here who really do care and wish you both well. You will both be in my prayers.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ScubaSteve61 (Mar 20, 2012)

I don't owe anyone here an explanation. You've all had your fun with Steve, making a mockery of me, so leave it at that. Nothing I say will matter to you people, you've already formed your opinions of me. And that's fine with me because a bunch of faceless names on the internet mean nothing in the grand scheme of things.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

So why continue to post then? If you're Steve's wife and you obviously don't want him posting here what's the point of continuing your rant at the people of this site?

Also your reaction,tone of your posts and the way you keep saying he's not posting here anymore (as though he's a hostage or something) only proves the things Steve was saying are mostly true.


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## ScubaSteve61 (Mar 20, 2012)

Goodbye *******s.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

ScubaSteve61 said:


> Steve is NOT coming back until after the divorce is finalized. You people suggested divorce, an affair, made sexual comments... We'll you can have him now.


Is it HIS choice to not come back til after the divorce? If we can have him now,why are you still using his login?


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