# random rant thread...feel free to join in and have a rant



## Xena (Feb 11, 2011)

I'm going to rant here and anyone else that wants to rant about anything can do so here.

So I just found out on the weekend that DS joined a sex group on second life in JANUARY of last year. They did 'live sex performances'. For anyone that doesn't know, second life is a virtual world. Also I thought the infidelity started JUNE 2010 but I just found out it was actually JANUARY....WHAT BULL****!

So anyway these people online have their avatars maybe having sex or something, but it's 'vocal performance' (yeah they actually call them 'performers', like sex is somehow a spectator sport! In my book sex is about AN INTIMATE CONNECTION. It's SACRED TRUST and certainly NOT a sport. FOOTBALL is a sport. GYMNASTICS is a sport. A PERFORMER is an actor, a singer, a dancer...someone with talent who should be respected for their ART. How much talent does it take to open your legs?!?!)

And anyway these 'PERFORMERS' ...I asked him what happened in the show he went to. He said 'it was two women in different houses having a race to orgasm'. So these stupid ****s were in their homes, masturbating on microphone for ...what? Some kind of self esteem boost?

I think exhibitionism is completely ****ed. He said he found it exciting and fun and he 'admired their courage'. **** THAT. It takes no courage to masturbate. ILL TELL YOU WHAT TAKES COURAGE. IT TAKES COURAGE TO BE THE LS SAYING 'YES ILL STAY WITH YOU AND GO THROUGH THE EMOTIONAL PAIN OF PUTTING OUR LIVES BACK TOGETHER THAT WERE WRECKED THROUGH NO FAULT OF MY OWN'. THATS COURAAGE!! Not having a wank...any 13 year old can have a wank. Anyone with genitals have have a wank. That takes no courage. its pathetic. Those women should sort themselves out, they disgrace the name of WOMAN by treating themselves like pieces of meat. They are less than human.


----------



## Xena (Feb 11, 2011)

By the way, I'd feel incredibly validated and appreciative if people would agree with me here. I'll also agree with you, if you post some rantings about whatever...what the DS did, an action, a lie, anything that gets you.

FEELS REALLY GOOD TO GET IT OUT SO DONT BE SHY COME JOIN IN!!!:smthumbup: TAKE PRIDE IN UR ANGER!!!!


----------



## The 13th_Floor (Mar 7, 2011)

I love my wife so much, but she's a lying c*nt! Hayull yea, that felt good! 

Oh and if my DS joined a sex group, I'd be pissed too.


----------



## Xena (Feb 11, 2011)

I agree! She is a lying ****!


----------



## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

Xena, that sucks. To say those girls had courage is a jevenile responce and a slap in the face. They aren't corageous, they are mislead and probably lacking in self esteem, and have been taught obviously that all they are worth is the orgasm of a stranger on the internet. That is sad.

He doesn't deserve you.


----------



## Xena (Feb 11, 2011)

Thanks Syrum!! I agree but it's so nice to see someone else say it. He still persists on calling them 'performers'. I told him a performer is someone of talent. I told him it takes no talent to open your legs and have a fiddle...babies in their pram do it.

It's sad if you've reached adulthood and your most impressive talent is still something that any infant is capable of. HEY LOOK AT ME...I HAVE GENITALS! AND I CAN RUB THEM! AREN'T I AMAZING!

'that's nice sweetie...now back on the special bus with the other special children'.

Anyone else want to rant? COme on!


----------



## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

Sounds like more of a desperate cry for help than courage to me. There's a difference between craving attention and being courageous.


----------



## bs193 (Jan 2, 2011)

It appears to me that a lot of people's relationships have a better chance of success if they disconnected their Internet service. People seem so preoccupied by creating and maintaining a virtual life, then can't understand why their real lives are in choas. They spend so much time trying to re-connect with old friends that they forgot they lost contact for a reason. Or they attempt to connect with others whom they never knew and never will for no other reason than to fill a void they created themselves. Make an effort to improve the quality of your world instead of trying to live vicariously in another. Make the most of and learn to appreciate what you have around you now instead of trying to get back something you thought you had long ago with someone else. Stay off the social network sites, chat rooms, and forums (even this one) for a couple months. Use that time to communicate, or attempt to communicate, with your significant other and see what happens. Don't blow off what I am saying because you assume it won't help. Do it and find out for certain.


----------



## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

bs193 said:


> It appears to me that a lot of people's relationships have a better chance of success if they disconnected their Internet service. People seem so preoccupied by creating and maintaining a virtual life, then can't understand why their real lives are in choas. They spend so much time trying to re-connect with old friends that they forgot they lost contact for a reason. Or they attempt to connect with others whom they never knew and never will for no other reason than to fill a void they created themselves. Make an effort to improve the quality of your world instead of trying to live vicariously in another. Make the most of and learn to appreciate what you have around you now instead of trying to get back something you thought you had long ago with someone else. Stay off the social network sites, chat rooms, and forums (even this one) for a couple months. Use that time to communicate, or attempt to communicate, with your significant other and see what happens. Don't blow off what I am saying because you assume it won't help. Do it and find out for certain.


That said, being online and being here has probably made the biggest difference in what I pay attention to and do from my side in the current relationship than anything else ever has....

All in moderation, and being careful of the "why's" you are online, not to mention keeping it as honest as you can. I will always let him in on everything I do online, but will stop short of letting him read certain rants about us/him. They are just things that need to get out, or they end up on him. Everything else is fair game, I don't mind (though he may think I am absolutely NUTS if he read everything HAHA not to mention as immature as a 16 year old boy, but then I never denied that side of myself HAHAHAHAHA)


----------



## paramore (Jan 11, 2011)

$**#**%($(#(#($*%*$#*#*([email protected]@)#)#)#)#))%*&%&$&#&#&@$((#(#

There's my rant lol, so many swear words I had to put it like that. I agree about the internet thing, that's when stuff really started going downhill for us.


----------



## Forsaken (Feb 14, 2011)

Xena, did he confront you and tell you about it? If not, how did you find out? Also that sounds so rediculous... Listening to women pleasure themselves, really?! I hope he knows that any woman (and some men) with vocal cords can create the same experience without actually "performing" the task. LOL!

*Fixed* My bad...


----------



## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

Rant ???

Well, I'm a mushroom-cloud-layin' motherf*cker, motherf*cker! Every time I think about my lying cheating wife, I'm Superfly T.N.T., I'm the Guns of the Navarone! IN FACT, WHAT THE F*CK AM I DOIN' HERE WORKING ON MY MARRIAGE?!?!? SHE'S THE MOTHERF*CKER WHO SHOULD BE ON FIX-UP DETAIL!


----------



## paramore (Jan 11, 2011)

LOL, it wasn't my husband doing the performances, this is Xena's thread. I just put in my two cents, swear words are kind of like therapy to me lol.


----------



## Forsaken (Feb 14, 2011)

Oops... I mean't Xena.... my bad LOL


----------



## Forsaken (Feb 14, 2011)

My wife just started a new job, she went against my wishes and accepted it. Now we're probably not going to see eachother very often. I have a feeling I'm going to check the phone records here in probably 2 months and see texts between her and a bunch of new numbers. I told her if I catch the slightest hint of this all going on again (i.e. excessive texting between her and other people or even excessive calls at inappropriate times) that I wouldn't even bring it up to her, I'd just serve her the D papers.

She just seems like she is worried about herself. I really feel like she is being selfish, and I have told her that I feel that way and all she did was get all defensive and say things like "Yea, your right, I'm just a selfish b!tch".

I don't know what the hell I'm going to do... I'll probably be back to vent more, I've gotta run to a meeting...


----------



## Craggy456 (Feb 22, 2011)

Pit-of-my-stomach said:


> Rant ???
> 
> Well, I'm a mushroom-cloud-layin' motherf*cker, motherf*cker! Every time I think about my lying cheating wife, I'm Superfly T.N.T., I'm the Guns of the Navarone! IN FACT, WHAT THE F*CK AM I DOIN' HERE WORKING ON MY MARRIAGE?!?!? SHE'S THE MOTHERF*CKER WHO SHOULD BE ON FIX-UP DETAIL!


:rofl::iagree::smthumbup:


----------



## oldbill43 (Feb 11, 2011)

Forsaken, look man, I dont know if i could accept the situation that you're in that easily, good luck with it all.

Xena, and here's another example of the classical Ape man, too thick skinned to see any kind of sensitivity going.. i suffer too at the hands of the Ape man.. but I tell you this, he'd be out on his hairy butt if he did what your fella did to you. Not that my hairy fella has not done wrong as he has, it's just not so much "in ya face" doing wrong.


----------



## Xena (Feb 11, 2011)

Thanks to everyone who's supported me. Geez it felt good to get that out! Typing anger really helps me.

I do want to say (now I've calmed down) that my fiance doesn't think those sex performers are courageous NOW...he said he THOUGHT (past tense) they were courageous at the time he went onto the group. It was in response to me asking how he felt at the time he joined the group and went to the event. We had a really good talk last night and he said he was sorry he used that word and he doesn't think they're courageous anymore, it was just how he felt then. Since his infidelity came out he's been doing everything he can to rebuild trust and make me feel loved and to give us another chance at happiness. :smthumbup:

Of course I'm still seriously pissed off and hurt at what happened in the first place


----------



## Xena (Feb 11, 2011)

Forsaken said:


> My wife just started a new job, she went against my wishes and accepted it. Now we're probably not going to see eachother very often. I have a feeling I'm going to check the phone records here in probably 2 months and see texts between her and a bunch of new numbers. I told her if I catch the slightest hint of this all going on again (i.e. excessive texting between her and other people or even excessive calls at inappropriate times) that I wouldn't even bring it up to her, I'd just serve her the D papers.
> 
> She just seems like she is worried about herself. I really feel like she is being selfish, and I have told her that I feel that way and all she did was get all defensive and say things like "Yea, your right, I'm just a selfish b!tch".
> 
> I don't know what the hell I'm going to do... I'll probably be back to vent more, I've gotta run to a meeting...


Really ****ing unfair Forsaken! I hate those stupid defensive responses, SO childish. Like you bring up a valid point and they jump into victim mode (like your wife saying 'I'm a selfish *****'). It's like their head is so far up their own arse they can't even see what they're doing.

I hope you can get her to listen mate I really do. Have you tried getting her in a space where there is no distractions and just calmly bringing up the relevant point until she GETS it? i.e. that you are trying to rebuild your relationship which can't happen when you have no time together? But in a non angry way. Also you could say things like

When you take the job anyway, I feel (hurt, belittled, like my concerns don't matter)...if you say 'When you X, I feel Y', they can't get as defensive because you're not saying 'what you're doing is bad', you're saying 'I feel bad'. Then you could try approaching it by saying you, as a couple, want this to work, so you need to hear each other and you have said what you need, now she can say her opinions. 

If you comes out with the 'yeah I'm a selfish *****' then gently bring her back to 'When you say that, you are avoiding the problem that I am raising. When you do that, I feel...X. Can you please address what I am saying rather than falling back on resisting? This matters and it's important you address it.'

If you try and approach it as a TEAM (like, WE AS A COUPLE want to make this work), then you can both see 'the problem' (that you won't have much time together) and both suggest ways to fix it. Maybe at the moment she feels like you think SHE is the problem, and therefore she is resisting being involved in the solution. Some people are munted like that :scratchhead:

Maybe she has suggestions of her own on how she could take the job and still have more time with you...like maybe she could go part time, or maybe she thinks having a few months of 'space' would be good, followed by a big holiday together?

I know I'm rambling here but the thing is to phrase it to her like 'this is what I feel we need...what do you think?'...'also what do you need? Can you explain what this job means to you?'...and then 'Ok, so we as a couple need X, I need Y, you need Z...let's work as a team and find a way we can all have most of the needs met'.

Good luck...ramble ramble...:smthumbup:


----------



## AmImad (Jan 28, 2011)

I just give up on my situation, this morning I saw a pic of the woman he left me for this morning.. *gags* Seriously.. I thought he'd go for an upgrade, and he has the audacity to say I hold myself in too high regard. And the B*tch dumped him!!!

He has no interest in fixing 'us' he is living his single life, not giving a crap about his kids, whilst I look after them 24/7 and fight my own battle of cancer, how and why would I want this man? I have been told I am beautiful, a man on this forum tells me everyday to look in the mirror and tell myself it's his loss! I am still struggling to work out why he has done this, why he wont talk about what is wrong with our marriage, he has run away buried his head in the sand and doesn't want to know. I am getting to the point, where he has hurt me a bit TOO much.

It's our daughters 4th bday this weekend, he wanted a family day out, I stupidly agreed for her sake, now he's saying he will meet us there, rather than us all going together, so he expects me (who will be bloody sore) to get 3 kids on and off of a train keep them occupied on said train for 1.5 hours whilst he meets us there as it's 'better for him' Selfish Much?! 
I have informed him, he either comes and helps me, OR he just comes on Sunday for her actual bday and I'll take them out on my own somewhere more local.. it was his f*cking idea ARRRRGH
It has upset me, as now I wonder what he is doing on Friday night, whether he is seeing someone else.. but screw him, I've been asked on a date next week and SOD IT I am going!!

I can't change him, he doesn't want to change so what's the f*cking point?! I am going to be his biggest regret..... 

I am walking away, I am the best he'll ever get, IF and I doubt it will ever happen he wants me, he can prove he is worthy of ME! Why was I like a [email protected] begging and crying over him, trying to make it work?! WHY because I am a mug, being with him since I was 15- he's all I've ever known, maybe he's done me a favour... Now I can find myself someone worthy of my love.. I already know I am adored by someone else (this came to light last night) and I have been for 7 years.. He's waited this long and has said he'll wait forever if he has too, he adores my kids more than my own H! What does that tell you?

That my H is a narcissistic, uncaring tyrant, who treats me like crap, who is selfish and puts himself and his d*ck before his children and his wife. I hope that I am strong enough to make good decisions and if he ever comes a runnin' that I can tell him to jog on!! Then I want him to be a sad lonely old man living with the consquences of his actions, the fact he lost a gorgeous wife and kids... He threw away diamonds for a fat ugly lump of coal..

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHH! 

*and breathe*


----------



## paramore (Jan 11, 2011)

There ya go girl!!! Take the reins!!!!


----------



## Bigwayneo (Jan 22, 2011)

I kind of want to rant. But the wife is starting to take working on things seriously and mentioned maybe coming on to this site for help and I don't want to move back steps if she see me ranting, haha. I just hope people on the site can be respectful. I have nothing to hide on the site, so she can read what ever she wants. then again I have never *hid anything from her anyway...BUt you want a rant?


Um.....My darn cute baby just pooped right after her baby sister did...now I have two dang diapers to change....AAAAHHHH


----------



## Forsaken (Feb 14, 2011)

Xena - I have done everything you said you think I should do, and I have done it multiple times. Here's a thread that I posted yesterday http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/22834-need-some-advice.html so you can see a bit more.

When I went over the pros and cons list with her about the job I made sure to explain how I felt. I tried to focus on some of the pros because some of them were really good, but for the most part the pros seemed to be focused mostly on herself, and the cons were mostly focused on our marriage.

For instance, she put in the pros that she wanted to accept the job for mental stability, and I said to her that her mental stability is important but she should also put my mental stability in the cons because when I'm alone for so long I start to get really depressed and have axiety attacks and I start to think about everything that has gone on. So with that said I went on to explain that in the condition I am in this will directly affect our marriage because I'm not in the right state of mind and I begin to think irrationally.

Just recently I noticed that she had written down on a piece of paper (she likes to make random lists and write down things she thinks and feels on random pieces of paper or in random note pads or books) I'm paraphrasing at best, but I believe it said something like "should I really sacrifice my mental stability for his? I don't want to quit this job. I won't quit this job" I don't know if its refering to her last job at a restaurant as a "bartender" or if its refering to this present job.

Like I've said in other threads, I say things to my wife about how I feel in situations and I leave it up to her to decide on what she wants to do because I'm not going to tell her what she can and can't do.


----------



## paramore (Jan 11, 2011)

Here's my rant, he won't delete her off of his phone or his facebook!!!!! He's tired of being told what to do...told him what's the point of keeping her on there, the temptation is still there. I am gonna bang my head against the wall!!! LOL


----------



## AmImad (Jan 28, 2011)

paramore said:


> Here's my rant, he won't delete her off of his phone or his facebook!!!!! He's tired of being told what to do...told him what's the point of keeping her on there, the temptation is still there. I am gonna bang my head against the wall!!! LOL


My H did the same thing..


----------



## Forsaken (Feb 14, 2011)

Can you block the phone number? If your H says anything that even implies that your being controlling tell him that you never told him to do anything, that you told him how you felt and left it for him to decide on what he wants to do.

Ever since I said that to my wife she hasn't once implied that I was being controlling.


----------



## paramore (Jan 11, 2011)

I know I can block txts, but not phone numbers. I am pretty sure he hasn't been in contact, but who knows.


----------



## twotimeloser (Feb 13, 2011)

I am sane now... I think... But if you think the advice i give here is tough love you should have seen the stuff i did in my own situation. LOL

What gets me is all the people that cling to the silliest hope that they are not married to a hoe bag or Male-hoe.

So i am just gonna scream it out.. 

*YES YOUR WIFE IS DOING THE NEIGHBOR WHEN SHE DRESSED IN A TEDDY AND TAKES 2 HOURS TO GET SUGAR... YES YOUR HUSBAND IS DOING THE SECRETARY WHEN HE COMES HOME AT 4AM SMELLING LIKE A FISH FACTORY, and YES YOUR DOG IS DOING THE CAT.*


Oh damn that felt better than fat sex on sunday. 
(dont ask, I was young)


----------



## paramore (Jan 11, 2011)

Ok that was funny, lol. Gonna rant again, he expects me to have faith in him not speaking with her, well where the f*%%$ is a little faith in me??? That the way I am acting isn't some ruse to get him to commit??? That I am being sincere??? He's not used to it I f*%*$ get that!!!!! Why the h%*$ should I be the f*%$*#$ only one put faith in, which is quite shaky at best??? 
Here's the swear rant again

%*$((#*%(#$*%(%*($*$(%*#P#$(#*#(#*%$(*%($)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not necessarily looking for advice just wanted to b*%*$ again.


----------



## SaffronPower (Mar 6, 2011)

late to the show but..right on Xena!

I have a friend who's brother is going through a deep depression. The depressed guy is on Second Life about 18 hours a day. Working as a female prostitute with voice changing software. He's making virtual money while his wife and son have to muddle through life on their own.

*sighs*

Sometimes I wish it were a Disney world.


----------



## paramore (Jan 11, 2011)

I am so sorry to hear that Saffron. I just took a good nap, battery recharged. I got my fight back, this is MY life, and MY place in my marriage and I am going to take that back, he can pick up and catch up when he's ready, the B%*$*% is BACK!!!! I am tired of feeling uncertain, feeling my way around. I am ready to F&%$%$* FIGHT!!!


----------



## paramore (Jan 11, 2011)

Girl....I am speechless...and that's hard to do. I am gonna reread your post. How messed up is it that it makes me feel better that my situation isn't the only one that's effed up?


----------



## twotimeloser (Feb 13, 2011)

I am just gonna say this for the sake of getting it off my chest..

You know.. Proof of HELL would sure make the forgiveness proccess a lot easier.

Ok, back to Mr. Nice guy.


----------



## Bigwayneo (Jan 22, 2011)

twotimeloser said:


> I am just gonna say this for the sake of getting it off my chest..
> 
> You know.. Proof of HELL would sure make the forgiveness proccess a lot easier.
> 
> Ok, back to Mr. Nice guy.


:iagree:

Though being Atheist that would also give me proof of other things and force me into other thinking. haha.


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Every day I wake up praying a asteroid obliterates the earth. Just do it.


----------



## twotimeloser (Feb 13, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> Every day I wake up praying a asteroid obliterates the earth. Just do it.


Hey!!! I dont have a good enough umbrella to survive that!!


----------



## paramore (Jan 11, 2011)

I am admitting my bad here....I have checked minutes used and whatnot ever day or two, I accidentally looked up my minutes, and wrongfully assumed it was him being secretive. I am an ass, I will admit that to him tomorrow. From what I can see, he is being truthful, I assumed he waited til he was out of the house to make phone calls and whatnot, I am feeling like a major as$$


----------

