# Feel like I'm losing my sanity, patience, etc.



## Jennifer9480 (Feb 24, 2014)

My fiance & I have been together for 2 years & 1 month. We moved in together with my 3 children (from my previous marriage) and were doing great (all of us). In April 2012 (3 months after we got a place together), his parents got evicted from their apartment (for non-payment). They came to stay with us for what was only supposed to be 2-3 months while they saved money. His dad works full-time & draws early Social Security & his mother does *nothing*. They remained with us until February 2013, when they got their tax return & moved. May 2013, their electric got cut off (they hadn't paid the bill the whole time they were in their place) & once again they came to stay with us, supposedly for just a few weeks until they paid their bill off. We wound up moving into another rental house last June. When we moved, they were supposed to pay off their bill & go back to their own house. Instead, they showed up with a carload FULL of their stuff 2 days later & stated that they had told their landlord they couldn't afford to pay him anymore & they were moving. They took it upon themselves to move right on in. They're still here. Now that tax season has come 'round again, they were supposed to move again when their return came back. They got their money on the 12th of this month, and by that weekend they had spent the money they were supposed to use to move. Now, yet again, I keep getting the run around about how they'll be moving in a couple of weeks. I don't mind helping others, so long as they help themselves and contribute. I understand his dad has some health problems...but they're both in their 60s and have no concept of responsibility. 
His mother bothers me the most. I love her dearly, don't get me wrong, but to be honest she really pisses me off multiple times in a day & I'm starting to think she does it on purpose to make me look like the bad one. She moves my things around where she wants them, she takes things of mine & gives them to my fiance's sister, she undermines me with my children, she runs over me with my children, she tries to control everything from the soap & toiletries that *I*buy to the food they eat but don't help pay for. They pay for nothing. And yet they're still supposedly broke. She has repeatedly told my youngest son if he doesn't shut his mouth she's gonna spank him whether I say she can or not. She has told my kids that she doesn't care what I tell them, they will obey only her. She tries to control what everyone in the house watches on TV, my kids can't say "butt" or "cop" without her screaming at them. And I'm the only one who will confront her. My fiance & I have gotten into several heated arguments over this, to the point where I've almost packed everything & left. I know I may be over-reacting to some small things, but overall, I want to punch the woman dead in the face! He won't listen to me. He tells me that I shouldn't be starting trouble. That, for the next couple of weeks, we have to rely on their car for transportation (not that we can go anywhere without them anyway)--(our vehicle tore up a couple of weeks ago).That I'm over-reacting & exaggerating. I'm not really. If anything, I'm under-stating what she puts me & the kids through. What's worse is now I have 3 children who are so upset & confused because I've always taught them to respect adults. Their behavior is atrocious most times. They fight with each other constantly, when they never used to. They have snitty attitudes. With 2 teens & a 'tween I expect some grief from them, but they've never been like this. I feel like I'm losing it. I don't know what a nervous breakdown feels like, but I'm sure I'm close to it. Not to mention the depression. I even thought about just leaving when my tax return comes in. Let him & his parents keep renting this pain in the butt house & me & the kids go back to being on our own & just calling off the engagement. Just being done. I did not liberate myself from a nasty alcoholic spouse & change myself for the better for both me & my kids to turn around & have to put up with irresponsible, leeching people. I shouldn't have to take away from my kids for his parents. They could easily go stay with his sister and have a bedroom & not be in my living room with all her hoarded piles of junk everywhere. My living room looks like a friggin abandoned storage unit! Nearly a year of keeping EVERYTHING. Am I losing my mind? How do I deal with this? I've told them numerous times they have to go, but all she does is tell me she doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want.


----------



## AgentD (Dec 27, 2010)

Heres my suggestion. If your fiance' can't grow a set of balls and step up to his parents, then take your kids and yourself and move out. He can live with them and they can be his responsibility. 

You are NOT married to him, he owes you nothing you owe him nothing. Make a life for you and your kids. There is no reason for you to have continual stress over grown adults who wont listen and try to control things, and a fiance' who wont help back you up, that right there should speak volumes.


----------



## Jasonsquires (Feb 27, 2014)

Jennifer,

To start, you are no pt crazy and your complaints and concerns are more than valid. 

You asked how to deal with this, so to cut to the chase, I would simply ask: How do you think you should deal with this?

You mentioned you left an alcoholic spouse and changed yourself for the better, and that you are the only one that stands up to your finance's mother -- so it sounds like you have both the strength to do what is necessary and a good enough head on your shoulders to know what course of action is best. 

To me, it sounds like this venue is a much needed way for you to vent your frustrations, which there is nothing wrong with. But I think we both know that you know exactly what it is you need to do. And I think you have the strength to do it.


----------

