# Coming Over From SI



## CDR No Longer Lost

Good afternoon, folks. I've been on SI for a little over a year posting as "LtCdrLost", I told my story there as it unfolded. At this point I don't know how much I'm going to bother with posting there, I butt heads pretty regularly with the mods and there's a particular "guide" (another word for "teacher's pet" I think, ha ha) who seems to have a hard-on for me there. Doing the requisite "kissing up" apparently necessary for me to keep on there is not in my nature. So, if I can offer some not necessarily gentle help to betrayed's here, I'll try to do so.

*This is an old thread (a zombie). Please read the post at this link.

https://talkaboutmarriage.com/new-m...elf/433195-coming-over-si-6.html#post20078949

EleGirl*


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## faithfulman

Welcome CDR No Longer Lost!

I've read your story. Very unfortunate, but you handled it as well as anyone I've seen. 

I generally agree with your advice, and given the nature of SI, I see why your direct, real world approach may get you in trouble over there. 

I think you'll get along well around here, and it is good to have you.


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## CDR No Longer Lost

faithfulman said:


> Welcome CDR No Longer Lost!
> 
> I've read your story. Very unfortunate, but you handled it as well as anyone I've seen.
> 
> I generally agree with your advice, and given the nature of SI, I see why your direct, real world approach may get you in trouble over there.
> 
> I think you'll get along well around here, and it is good to have you.


Thank you, Sir. It was a **** sandwich I could've done without, but we dont get that choice do we? I'll try to counsel betrayed's to act in their best interest as I understand it. Weak, dithering BH's are in need of some intrusive leadership IMO.


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## MattMatt

Good to meet you, @CDR No Longer Lost. Welcome to TAM.


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## Shortdrive

I read your thread over there. I saw a man who knew his end game. Kudos. I’m sure the posters here will benefit from your point of view.


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## skerzoid

I read your story and actually PMed you once or twice.. You are admirable as you show a lot of strength, courage, and strong decisive action. You should post it here and give us an update on how you are doing. Also, how has the ex moved on? Does she still bug you about reconciliation?


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## CDR No Longer Lost

skerzoid said:


> I read your story and actually PMed you once or twice.. You are admirable as you show a lot of strength, courage, and strong decisive action. You should post it here and give us an update on how you are doing. Also, how has the ex moved on? Does she still bug you about reconciliation?


Not at all, skerzoid. I recall your PM's and I remember you from SI. I'm on the other side of the country. And there's a new lady in my life, the Marine Intel Officer I dated before I left Va Bch. Another USNA Grad, a couple of grades behind me, which is a non-factor. I still occasionally lament that the XW wasn't who I thought she was, but a cross-country move, a promotion, and a new GF keeps that firmly in the far back recesses of my mind. BTW, I tried to post the link to my SI story, this site wouldn't allow me to post it. Maybe until my post count reaches a certain point?


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## sokillme

Which one is yours now? 

Are you the Navy Seal?

Have you read on here?

Someone needs to rescue FloridaMan before he wastes the rest of his life in pain.


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## CDR No Longer Lost

Yes Sir, that is me. And SEAL is all caps... :wink2:


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## Rubix Cubed

Hey man,
Glad you made it. There may be some kind of limit in this "Introduce yourself forum" but threads from SI have been posted on TAM before. Like I told you, I think this place will be a good fit. 
@EleGirl might be able to answer why you couldn't post your thread. Might be good to write a one post overview of your story anyway, because if anyone ever handled it superbly it was you. A lot of people could be helped by that.


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## kgcolonel

Welcome here Faithful..aka LCR....i followed your story and also share your exit from Si....welcome and i support your no nonsense advise....you're a good man!!


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## EleGirl

CDR No Longer Lost said:


> Not at all, skerzoid. I recall your PM's and I remember you from SI. I'm on the other side of the country. And there's a new lady in my life, the Marine Intel Officer I dated before I left Va Bch. Another USNA Grad, a couple of grades behind me, which is a non-factor. I still occasionally lament that the XW wasn't who I thought she was, but a cross-country move, a promotion, and a new GF keeps that firmly in the far back recesses of my mind. BTW, I tried to post the link to my SI story, this site wouldn't allow me to post it. Maybe until my post count reaches a certain point?


A few months ago TAM was hit with spam attacks nightly, with hundreds of spam threads/posts. To prevent spam attacks of that magnitude we had to made it so that spammers (and/or spam bots) would not be able to do that any more. That's why a new members has to post in their forum first and wait a bit to get permissions to post in other TAM forums. And it's why you cannot post a link right now. I don't recall the parameters, but you have to have some number of posts to be able to post links. And, a new member cannot just make a bunch of quick posts to get to that magic number. It has to be more organic.

Give it a few more posts and you will be able to edit your post and add the link.

Trolls, spammers and such ruin things for everyone.


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## Wolfman1968

I cannot find the thread in SI, but obviously others have read it. 
Therefore I apparently am not looking in the right place/back far enough.


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## In Absentia

What's SI? :smile2:


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## 335289

In Absentia said:


> What's SI? :smile2:


Same question, here. Apparently, we are the only two that do not know about SI. 

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


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## MJJEAN

In Absentia said:


> What's SI? :smile2:





IronHamster said:


> Same question, here. Apparently, we are the only two that do not know about SI.
> 
> Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


Surviving Infidelity. An internet echo chamber of reconciliation and rug sweeping at the expense of common sense, self respect, etc. Dare speak plainly or point out bullpucky and get banned. In fact, getting banned on SI is almost a badge of honor.


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## NorseViking

CDR No Longer Lost said:


> I've been on SI for a little over a year posting as "LtCdrLost",
> I told my story there as it unfolded.


I have read his story.
This is a true warrior against cheating.
Quick, decisive and tough.
No mercy.
Take no prisoners.
As Nike like to say: Just DO IT!


...


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## NorseViking

Wolfman1968 said:


> I cannot find the thread in SI, but obviously others have read it.
> Therefore I apparently am not looking in the right place/back far enough.


Google ---> LtCdrLost
and you'll find it like a champ!

Title is: Home From Deployment to Hell


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## In Absentia

MJJEAN said:


> Surviving Infidelity. An internet echo chamber of reconciliation and rug sweeping at the expense of common sense, self respect, etc. Dare speak plainly or point out bullpucky and get banned. In fact, getting banned on SI is almost a badge of honor.


Thank you!


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## Yeswecan

Welcome! I read your story on SI. Crap sandwich it was.


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## sokillme

So what happened to your cheating wife? Any idea? Living at home with her parents? 

Didn't you get a letter from her? Did you ever read it?

At least you didn't have kids.


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## Rubix Cubed

https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=620583&AP=21


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## CDR No Longer Lost

sokillme said:


> So what happened to your cheating wife? Any idea? Living at home with her parents?
> 
> Didn't you get a letter from her? Did you ever read it?
> 
> At least you didn't have kids.


I haven't seen her in more than a year, I have no contact with her family. That chapter of my life is 100% closed. The only thing I'd say is I wish her no ill, and I never wanted her to come to a bad end. Whether she's thriving or not is of no concern to me. Life marches on...


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## sokillme

CDR No Longer Lost said:


> I haven't seen her in more than a year, I have no contact with her family. That chapter of my life is 100% closed. The only thing I'd say is I wish her no ill, and I never wanted her to come to a bad end. Whether she's thriving or not is of no concern to me. Life marches on...


I had the same thoughts eventually with the one who cheated on me. She was stuck with her own choices that was punishment enough.


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## 335289

MJJEAN said:


> Surviving Infidelity. An internet echo chamber of reconciliation and rug sweeping at the expense of common sense, self respect, etc. Dare speak plainly or point out bullpucky and get banned. In fact, getting banned on SI is almost a badge of honor.


Infidelity is double edged. Wedding vows include "to have and to hold," the promise of intimacy, as well as "forsaking all others," monogamy. A spouse that refuses intimacy is no different morally than a spouse that ****s the mail carrier every day. I bet their mods have their own one sided ideas about that. 

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


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## Wolfman1968

Rubix Cubed said:


> https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=620583&AP=21




Thanks for the link!


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## She'sStillGotIt

CDR No Longer Lost said:


> Good afternoon, folks. I've been on SI for a little over a year posting as "LtCdrLost", I told my story there as it unfolded. At this point I don't know how much I'm going to bother with posting there, I butt heads pretty regularly with the mods and there's a particular "guide" (another word for "teacher's pet" I think, ha ha) who seems to have a hard-on for me there. Doing the requisite "kissing up" apparently necessary for me to keep on there is not in my nature. So, if I can offer some not necessarily gentle help to betrayed's here, I'll try to do so.


LOL...got tired of feeding the flying monkeys over there, did you? Most of those 'mods' have eaten some of the biggest **** sandwiches on the planet, and continue to do so, having procured themselves a* permanent* seat at the **** Sandwich Cafe. I think a couple of them are older men who _know_ they don't stand a chance out on their own so clinging to their cheating wives at all costs really WAS their only option (or die alone). 

If you dare to disagree or poke fun at their desperation or the their strategy of swallowing their pride, dignity and self respect, then like _you_ experienced, the flying monkeys will swoop down on you and use their awesome 'mod' powers to slap you on the wrist or make you 'beg' not to be banned. 

LMAO...they really are such self-important tools.


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## She'sStillGotIt

I took the link but just couldn't read 45+ pages. But I got a summary of your story and that's all that matters.

Yup, the blow-hard I _thought_ you were describing in your initial post here (about one of them 'having a hard-on for you') is indeed the blow-hard it turned out to be.

That guy needs a hobby instead of hanging out on relationship boards constantly spewing his pitiful agenda. I suggest he take up whittling, stamp collecting, bird watching, playing checkers in the park, or getting a ham radio.


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## Laurentium

MJJEAN said:


> Surviving Infidelity. An internet echo chamber of reconciliation and rug sweeping at the expense of common sense, self respect, etc. Dare speak plainly or point out bullpucky and get banned. In fact, getting banned on SI is almost a badge of honor.


*cough* It may be that perhaps, possibly, occasionally, very slightly, just a little, this forum lurches too far in the other direction!


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## CDR No Longer Lost

Laurentium said:


> *cough* It may be that perhaps, possibly, occasionally, very slightly, just a little, this forum lurches too far in the other direction!


That may very well be, but everything considered I prefer that perspective over the one promulgated over there.


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## MAJDEATH

Welcome to TAM. There are many current/former military posters on this site. I read your entire story on S/I. So how are you doing lately CDR? I assume the D was finalized and the assets split evenly.


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## Lostinthought61

So did you ever end up dating the realtor lady?


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## snerg

When I read your thread, especially the last few pages, all I could think of was 
You should give her a second chance - I did becasue I am so woke
To prevent those with weak stomachs from puking - the article is called "What Open Marriage Taught One Man About Feminism". 
It's difficult to read.


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## Taxman

Sir, read your posts over at SI. I have great admiration as to how you handled your ex and her boyfriend. Too many times, the OM gets away scott free. I hope he despised losing everything over a roll in the hay, and if he is anything like a few of the other men who have lost because of an affair, at some point he said something to the effect that the affair/your ex was just not worth losing a career, a marriage, children, money and freedom. Hope his time in the stockade was memorable, maybe he made a new friend or two.

Welcome to TAM sir, there are a few ex military here who you should get to know. Cromer is one, No Longer Lonely Husband is another.


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## Music Lover

IronHamster said:


> Same question, here. Apparently, we are the only two that do not know about SI.
> 
> Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


I also have no idea what SI. Please explain


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## Rubix Cubed

Music Lover said:


> I also have no idea what SI. Please explain


 It's explained in great detail up thread^


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## Rubix Cubed

Taxman said:


> Welcome to TAM sir, there are a few ex military here who you should get to know. Cromer is one, Lt *Cdr no longer lost* is another.


 I think you meant @No Longer Lonely Husband 
The name you posted is the OP.


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## Taxman

Oops...sorry. Today is the last day of tax season in Canada. I have just e-filed my last 200 or so. The brain no longer functions well. edited.


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## Music Lover

Rubix Cubed said:


> It's explained in great detail up thread^


Thanks. Sorry, I missed out the second page - a senior moment I think it’s called


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## CDR No Longer Lost

Lostinthought61 said:


> So did you ever end up dating the realtor lady?


No I didn't. That interaction I kept on an all business basis. She knew she'd pick up a handsome commission check from the sale, we priced the house to move. I'm sure I could've dated her but it never happened.


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## CDR No Longer Lost

MAJDEATH said:


> Welcome to TAM. There are many current/former military posters on this site. I read your entire story on S/I. So how are you doing lately CDR? I assume the D was finalized and the assets split evenly.


Yes, the final decree was six months ago. I never had any intention of trying to "work it out" with my XW. "Working it out" meant accepting that another man ****ed my wife while I was deployed, and folks, That. Is. Never. Going. To. Happen. In truth, I have no idea what would make any man willing to accept that, but that I guess is the mystery of the human condition.


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## She'sStillGotIt

CDR No Longer Lost said:


> "Working it out" meant accepting that another man ****ed my wife while I was deployed, and folks, That. Is. Never. Going. To. Happen. In truth, I have no idea what would make any man willing to accept that, but that I guess is the mystery of the human condition.


Whenever I see a poster talking about how his/her spouse cheated on them "but we worked it out and moved on," I roll my eyes upward.

Translation: *"We"* didn't work anything out and move on. The poster simply chose to swallow a huge **** sandwich - along with the multitude of lies they were likely told by their cheater to diminish what *really* happened - because it was either that or leave their cheater. And obviously, most choose the sandwich rather than leave.

Good for you CDR, for knowing this was a deal breaker for you and not settling for anything less. I'm sure your heathen ways are a topic of discussion over on the super-duper secret SI Mod board, where the hardcore reconciliation cheerleaders are likely spinning out of control because you refused to become a Stepford Reconciler. :rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## CDR No Longer Lost

The admins, mods and "guides" will say with a straight face that there's no pro-R bias on that site... Completely ludicrous is what that is. And their pets are petted on. That "guide" literally called me out on something, the beta-boy actually used those words. When I told him not to get ahead of himself, a 24 hr ban and a ****ty message was posted to me from some admin about not "attacking" another member... I must define the word "attack" somewhat differently, ha ha. I wish I had found this site first a year ago last month.


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## She'sStillGotIt

CDR No Longer Lost said:


> The admins, mods and "guides" will say with a straight face that there's no pro-R bias on that site... Completely ludicrous is what that is. And their pets are petted on. That "guide" literally called me out on something, the beta-boy actually used those words. When I told him not to get ahead of himself, a 24 hr ban and a ****ty message was posted to me from some admin about not "attacking" another member... I must define the word "attack" somewhat differently, ha ha. I wish I had found this site first a year ago last month.


LOL...this is what I picture whenever I hear about the mods rushing to 'protect' one of their own who was 'hurt by a poster's words'... :rofl:


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## UpsideDownWorld11

I think TAM has become the gathering of all the misfits from SI.

Actually, I think SI's JFO forum is pretty decent. But once you get past that stage, GTFO. Its a sh*tshow. Be thankful you got banned. I spent countless hours trying to get those dumb sonof*****es to find their sack before I got banned. It's a losing battle...


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## farsidejunky

Look, brother.

I applaud your decisiveness in the face of infidelity. Had I returned from a deployment to find out my wife had taken up with another (which happened all too frequently to others, on every installation to which I was assigned), I would like to think my course of action would be much the same.

That said, you are entirely too intelligent for me to sit back and accept that you have no idea your language is abrasive and inflammatory.

You know it. Everyone else knows it. And that is exactly what got/gets you in trouble on SI. It isn't your 'what'; it's your 'how'.

While this may not seem like the warmest of welcomes, it is a welcome nonetheless. It is also an introduction to the most refreshing thing about this site (at least to me):

All people are subject to be called on their ****. It is an essential aspect of growth. 

Welcome to TAM.


CDR No Longer Lost said:


> The admins, mods and "guides" will say with a straight face that there's no pro-R bias on that site... Completely ludicrous is what that is. And their pets are petted on. That "guide" literally called me out on something, the beta-boy actually used those words. When I told him not to get ahead of himself, a 24 hr ban and a ****ty message was posted to me from some admin about not "attacking" another member... I must define the word "attack" somewhat differently, ha ha. I wish I had found this site first a year ago last month.


Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk


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## just got it 55

CDR No Longer Lost said:


> I haven't seen her in more than a year, I have no contact with her family. That chapter of my life is 100% closed. The only thing I'd say is I wish her no ill, and I never wanted her to come to a bad end. Whether she's thriving or not is of no concern to me. Life marches on...


I know your story and both your threads from SI

Welcome...You will be more authentic here I think you will be a good contributor.

55


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## just got it 55

Taxman said:


> Sir, read your posts over at SI. I have great admiration as to how you handled your ex and her boyfriend. Too many times, the OM gets away scott free. I hope he despised losing everything over a roll in the hay, and if he is anything like a few of the other men who have lost because of an affair, at some point he said something to the effect that the affair/your ex was just not worth losing a career, a marriage, children, money and freedom. Hope his time in the stockade was memorable, maybe he made a new friend or two.
> 
> Welcome to TAM sir, there are a few ex military here who you should get to know. Cromer is one, No Longer Lonely Husband is another.


I seem to remember Cromer posting on his thread on SI

He has not been on TAM in a while though.

55


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## just got it 55

farsidejunky said:


> Look, brother.
> 
> I applaud your decisiveness in the face of infidelity. Had I returned from a deployment to find out my wife had taken up with another (which happened all too frequently to others, on every installation to which I was assigned), I would like to think my course of action would be much the same.
> 
> That said, you are entirely too intelligent for me to sit back and accept that you have no idea your language is abrasive and inflammatory.
> 
> You know it. Everyone else knows it. And that is exactly what got/gets you in trouble on SI. It isn't your 'what'; it's your 'how'.
> 
> While this may not seem like the warmest of welcomes, it is a welcome nonetheless. It is also an introduction to the most refreshing thing about this site (at least to me):
> 
> All people are subject to be called on their ****. It is an essential aspect of growth.
> 
> Welcome to TAM.
> 
> Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk


Wow Junkman I love when you play tough guy :grin2:

55


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## Robert22205

I'm familiar with your story and your postings on SI. 
I admired how you handled your wife's infidelity. 

Plus I always (always) thought you sent a clear and necessary message to others drowning in infidelity (and denial).
The mods on SI are crazy to discourage your voice.


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## CDR No Longer Lost

farsidejunky said:


> Look, brother.
> 
> I applaud your decisiveness in the face of infidelity. Had I returned from a deployment to find out my wife had taken up with another (which happened all too frequently to others, on every installation to which I was assigned), I would like to think my course of action would be much the same.
> 
> That said, you are entirely too intelligent for me to sit back and accept that you have no idea your language is abrasive and inflammatory.
> 
> You know it. Everyone else knows it. And that is exactly what got/gets you in trouble on SI. It isn't your 'what'; it's your 'how'.
> 
> While this may not seem like the warmest of welcomes, it is a welcome nonetheless. It is also an introduction to the most refreshing thing about this site (at least to me):
> 
> All people are subject to be called on their ****. It is an essential aspect of growth.
> 
> Welcome to TAM.
> 
> Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk


Sir, of course I'm aware how I come across, I have not the slightest concern for any of that. I'm sure it's a product of the environment in which I have thrived since I first arrived at the USNA for Plebe summer in 2000. Sparing the feelings of the weak and indecisive isn't something I'm going to do... In truth I hold back and simply say nothing much more than you probably imagine. If that sort is coddled, they'll wallow in their own **** indefinitely.


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## CDR No Longer Lost

It's possible I don't belong on an internet forum of this sort. I guess time will tell...


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## personofinterest

CDR No Longer Lost said:


> It's possible I don't belong on an internet forum of this sort. I guess time will tell...


 I think it's fine to dish it out… as long as one can also take it 😉


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## CDR No Longer Lost

personofinterest said:


> I think it's fine to dish it out… as long as one can also take it 😉



I have no objection to that... Anytime I act indecisive and weak, please drop the hammer on me.


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## SongoftheSouth

CDR No Longer Lost said:


> Sir, of course I'm aware how I come across, I have not the slightest concern for any of that. I'm sure it's a product of the environment in which I have thrived since I first arrived at the USNA for Plebe summer in 2000. Sparing the feelings of the weak and indecisive isn't something I'm going to do... In truth I hold back and simply say nothing much more than you probably imagine. If that sort is coddled, they'll wallow in their own **** indefinitely.


Welcome aboard shipmate. How long did it take you to make O5, looks like 14 years or so? You must have busted your a$$ although your community is different from the average designation so your promotions are probably quicker. Awesome to have you with us!! :smile2:


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## sokillme

CDR No Longer Lost said:


> It's possible I don't belong on an internet forum of this sort. I guess time will tell...


Nonsense, you are not any more blunt then I am. 

I find that I just have to accept others being a blunt with me, and I try to be open enough to see if maybe their criticisms are right. There have been a few occasions at least for me where I have backed down because I wasn't translating what I wanted to say correctly. 

Also some times blunt doesn't work, so maybe I am not the one to be having the conversation with.


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## personofinterest

The key to having no tact is that you cant stamp your feet and make a stink when someone else has no tact with YOU.

Otherwise you're kind of a baby and a hypocrite 😉


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## ConanHub

I do not go where you came from but look forward to your take on things.


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## No Longer Lonely Husband

Taxman said:


> Oops...sorry. Today is the last day of tax season in Canada. I have just e-filed my last 200 or so. The brain no longer functions well. edited.


File extensions as my accountant does for me. Less stress:smile2:


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## No Longer Lonely Husband

CDR No Longer Lost said:


> It's possible I don't belong on an internet forum of this sort. I guess time will tell...


Hell, let it rip. Honest opinions are appreciated by me. I have been called on the carpet for my jarhead intellect a time of two.>


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## shortbus

I'm glad you're here CDR. I read your story on SI and was glad all worked out for you.

Deployments can be tough. MM1/SS here.


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## TBT

Not only have I read your story,but I've also seen your posts to other threads over there. I don't find you overly blunt and honestly I find you more than polite when addressing others. Welcome to TAM.


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## CDR No Longer Lost

personofinterest said:


> The key to having no tact is that you cant stamp your feet and make a stink when someone else has no tact with YOU.
> 
> Otherwise you're kind of a baby and a hypocrite 😉


Ha ha... Thanks for the early morning chuckle.

So in your estimation, is responding to an admonition from a moderator on this forum about how I come across on a different forum stomping my feet and making a stink? 

I'll try to respond when I'm addressed directly. 

But here's a newsflash: Your approbation or anyone else's on an anonymous internet forum means exactly zero to me.


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## CDR No Longer Lost

TBT said:


> Not only have I read your story,but I've also seen your posts to other threads over there. I don't find you overly blunt and honestly I find you more than polite when addressing others. Welcome to TAM.


Using polite language to deliver a needed slap to the side of the head is generally my aim, Sir. :grin2:


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## CDR No Longer Lost

SongoftheSouth said:


> Welcome aboard shipmate. How long did it take you to make O5, looks like 14 years or so? You must have busted your a$$ although your community is different from the average designation so your promotions are probably quicker. Awesome to have you with us!! :smile2:



Many thanks shipmate. I'm an 1130, while this community is somewhat different than others I was below the zone. I was was fortunate in getting that 3rd stripe on my first look.


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## MAJDEATH

CDR No Longer Lost said:


> Many thanks shipmate. I'm an 1130, while this community is somewhat different than others I was below the zone. I was was fortunate in getting that 3rd stripe on my first look.


Congrats. I popped smoke as an O-4 after 12 yrs of active duty Army. Four deployments were enough for me.


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## personofinterest

CDR No Longer Lost said:


> personofinterest said:
> 
> 
> 
> The key to having no tact is that you cant stamp your feet and make a stink when someone else has no tact with YOU.
> 
> Otherwise you're kind of a baby and a hypocrite 😉
> 
> 
> 
> Ha ha... Thanks for the early morning chuckle.
> 
> So in your estimation, is responding to an admonition from a moderator on this forum about how I come across on a different forum stomping my feet and making a stink?
> 
> I'll try to respond when I'm addressed directly.
> 
> But here's a newsflash: Your approbation or anyone else's on an anonymous internet forum means exactly zero to me.
Click to expand...

I was actually just poking fun and wasn't referring to any admonishment at all.

In other words, I intended no attack, belittlement, or ugliness.

But the choices you make in how to engage a stranger and a lady are duly noted.

Thank you for your sacrificial service to our country.


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## farsidejunky

CDR No Longer Lost said:


> Ha ha... Thanks for the early morning chuckle.
> 
> 
> 
> So in your estimation, is responding to an admonition from a moderator on this forum about how I come across on a different forum stomping my feet and making a stink?
> 
> 
> 
> I'll try to respond when I'm addressed directly.
> 
> 
> 
> But here's a newsflash: Your approbation or anyone else's on an anonymous internet forum means exactly zero to me.


With you being new, I should have been a bit more clear in how I was addressing you.

Most mods are pretty active in threads here. We try to have a delineation between regular posts and moderator warnings. Normally, when addressing an infraction, the top of the post will have "speaking as a moderator" or something similar. This is really the only way we have to try and separate what is our opinion versus what is a violation of forum rules.

My post to you was not a warning in any way, as you have done nothing wrong here. It was me speaking plainly about my observations on SI.

I apologize that I did not better communicate/clarify that point.

Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk


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## TBT

CDR No Longer Lost said:


> Ha ha... Thanks for the early morning chuckle.
> 
> So in your estimation, is responding to an admonition from a moderator on this forum about how I come across on a different forum stomping my feet and making a stink?
> 
> I'll try to respond when I'm addressed directly.
> 
> But here's a newsflash: Your approbation or anyone else's on an anonymous internet forum means exactly zero to me.


Did something get lost in the translation? &#x1f609 equals :wink2:


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## CDR No Longer Lost

TBT said:


> Did something get lost in the translation? &#x1f609 equals :wink2:



Yes, if I had known what &#x1f609 meant the whole thing would've come across differently... :grin2:


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## CDR No Longer Lost

personofinterest said:


> I was actually just poking fun and wasn't referring to any admonishment at all.
> 
> In other words, I intended no attack, belittlement, or ugliness.
> 
> But the choices you make in how to engage a stranger and a lady are duly noted.
> 
> Thank you for your sacrificial service to our country.


Personofinterest if I'd had any idea what &#x1f609 meant the whole thing would've come across differently... and my response would've been equally cordial. Tabula Rasa, Ma'am? :wink2:


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## CDR No Longer Lost

farsidejunky said:


> With you being new, I should have been a bit more clear in how I was addressing you.
> 
> Most mods are pretty active in threads here. We try to have a delineation between regular posts and moderator warnings. Normally, when addressing an infraction, the top of the post will have "speaking as a moderator" or something similar. This is really the only way we have to try and separate what is our opinion versus what is a violation of forum rules.
> 
> My post to you was not a warning in any way, as you have done nothing wrong here. It was me speaking plainly about my observations on SI.
> 
> I apologize that I did not better communicate/clarify that point.
> 
> Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk


Toward the end I was getting my ass ridden pretty hard over there, and while my language tends to be direct I have never been abusive to anyone there. Aside from what I took as a particularly egregious WW on their Wayward forum where I was promptly banned for life. And that during the unfolding of my own sordid tale. I proffered an apology to that WW immediately afterward. Tabula Rasa, Sir? :smile2:


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## GusPolinski

Dang.

Just read all that (first thread).

Makes me wish I’d joined the Navy.

And is it just me, or have the cucks over at SI gotten way worse?


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## SongoftheSouth

MAJDEATH said:


> Congrats. I popped smoke as an O-4 after 12 yrs of active duty Army. Four deployments were enough for me.


Majdeath get your 20. Affiliate with reserve unit. It will be boring as hell but you should do it to hit your retiremnt


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## press85

Hey buddy, Glad to see you here. I also spend a lot of time on SI. It is clearly a pro Wayward site. You handled everything like a pro. and BTW You are not abrasive. You handle things like a guy ( I do the same) and of course the SI crowd or the rugsweeping crowd will get mad at you. Just forget them. I spend time on this site to get my sanity back. Hope the the new guy on SI ( turnthepage Hikingout's husband) comes over here. Take care.


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## farsidejunky

SongoftheSouth said:


> Majdeath get your 20. Affiliate with reserve unit. It will be boring as hell but you should do it to hit your retiremnt


This. Even if it is a reserve retirement.

Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk


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## CDR No Longer Lost

MAJDEATH said:


> Congrats. I popped smoke as an O-4 after 12 yrs of active duty Army. Four deployments were enough for me.


Brother I hear you on the deployments. I finished the training pipeline in '06, during the highest operational tempo for NSW since Viet-Nam. I'll unfortunately never know if it was the constant absences that led my XW to do what she did... But that, as they say, is water under the bridge now.


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## personofinterest

It's a shame SI runs off all the actual strong voices.

Maybe they should change it to Waywards & Wimps lol


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## ConanHub

personofinterest said:


> It's a shame SI runs off all the actual strong voices.
> 
> Maybe they should change it to Waywards & Wimps lol


I LIKE IT!!! :grin2:


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## MAJDEATH

CDR No Longer Lost said:


> Brother I hear you on the deployments. I finished the training pipeline in '06, during the highest operational tempo for NSW since Viet-Nam. I'll unfortunately never know if it was the constant absences that led my XW to do what she did... But that, as they say, is water under the bridge now.


Thanks for your service. Based on my experiences, the separations were never a good thing for the married troops.


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## MAJDEATH

farsidejunky said:


> This. Even if it is a reserve retirement.
> 
> Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk


Maybe, we'll see. There is a fair amount of nepotism in the reserve components starting at the O-4/O-5 level, and I've never been one to boot lick or use my W to get ahead.


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## ShatteredKat

Getting banned @ SI, in many cases, is a Badge of Honor!

this was said in a post:

https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=577957&AP=21&HL=47299

**********************
What he said!!!!!!!
You're acting more like a cub scout than a Marine! You sure you were not really a squid!

GET YOUR **** TOGETHER MARINE

*********************

As a "squid" with a LOT of Marine friends - I was a bit incensed and my "profile" has me as having had and EA with wife doing similar with a lot more - 


I don't remember my reply on:

ShatteredKat
♂ Member
Member # 47299	
Default Posted: 6:39 AM, February 3rd (Wednesday), 2016

but I am sure I was suitably blunt (aka "inflammatory") in commenting on the jerks post (since banned himself)


I still read there and read your story - I commend you on your decisiveness and well-focused plan of action and follow through.

I cringe at some of the "advice" and posters who have no backbone continuing to waffle in confusion and inaction. And continue to post "Woe is Me!"

I keep reading there to get lessons on how NOT to behave! 

Obviously you didn't need any lessons when life (in the form of your ex-mate) dealt you a Merda Panini 

I am Viet-Nam vet (aka OLD FART!)

I like TAM as the message is a bit more clearly spoken (much more often without excessive elucidation)

Semper Fi


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## farsidejunky

For those who peruse both TAM and SI, here is some information about the original poster of this thread:

From Mangled Heart, the Webmaster of SI:

_"We had suspected for some time, but we now have conclusive proof that less than a month before starting this topic LtCdrLost was here as a wayward spouse under the name Hiram and subsequently banned.

It is bad enough to troll an infidelity forum, but to also falsely portray yourself as a Naval Officer is a low I don't believe we've experienced in the almost 18 years since founding SI."_

https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=620583&AP=961&HL=

Last post on page 49.


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