# Guidelines Before Sex



## Dr. Rockstar (Mar 23, 2011)

Born from a recent thread (but I've seen the topic come up dozens of times before), I've got a couple of questions:


Who here had "the talk" before they had sex with a new partner?
How awkward was it?
Were you completely honest about all the things you would or would not do/try?


----------



## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

I did.

Not at all awkward. We are both adults who knew what they wanted and weren't afraid to get it.

We were completely open and honest. As our relationship has grown, we have both found things that were on our would not do list that we are exploring with each other.


----------



## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

We did the talk via instant message bc we both hate talking on the phone.
It wasn't official really.It started off flirtatious then went into a real Q&A session about sex.

The interesting part is many of the things that were on our "eh,not so much" lists are part of our sexual lives now.I guess it was a comfort thing.


----------



## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

I haven't had a new sexual partner for 18 years - I was too young at that point to be concerned how I would be feeling nearly 2 decades later. So no. Actually we just started having "the talk" and when you wait that long it is indeed awkward. I don't recommend this course of action.


----------



## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

samyeagar said:


> I did.
> 
> Not at all awkward. We are both adults who knew what they wanted and weren't afraid to get it.
> 
> We were completely open and honest. *As our relationship has grown, we have both found things that were on our would not do list that we are exploring with each other*.





ScarletBegonias said:


> We did the talk via instant message bc we both hate talking on the phone.
> It wasn't official really.It started off flirtatious then went into a real Q&A session about sex.
> 
> *The interesting part is many of the things that were on our "eh,not so much" lists are part of our sexual lives now.I guess it was a comfort thing*.


Yep.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Yes, my H and I had many talks about sex before we actually had sex.


----------



## coupdegrace (Oct 15, 2012)

My wife and I didn't really discuss it at great length before we had sex. We kind of glossed over a few things, but nothing of great substance. I think what kept us from really opening up was my wife was a virgin and had no prior experience, and I didn't want to say anything that would be considered freaky and chase her away.


----------



## swade87 (Oct 23, 2013)

My fiance and I exchanged phone numbers the day we met, but didn't meet up again until 2 weeks later. However.. during that time we texted regularly and began talking about sex. What we each like, how we like it.. etc. That led to some really hot conversations. When we did have sex for the first time, we both knew exactly what to do and the sex was amazing. Rarely is sex that great the first time with someone new.. so yeah, talking about it first made it less awkward, and the build up to it actually happening was crazy exciting.


----------



## loopy lu (Oct 30, 2013)

If "the talk" meant asking "your place or mine?"...then yes...


----------



## GettingIt_2 (Apr 12, 2013)

I must say that it never crossed my mind to have "the talk." I guess I figured if there wasn't any sexual chemistry, then things would eventually fizzle.


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

We didn't have the talk. I was a virgin... but nonethless I shared fantasies with him. That lead to role-play and dirty talk, which lead to other experimenting. He lead the way with oral and certain positions. I guess we just explored together and that was exciting.

If we were to meet at this age and where I'm at in life now, I'd expect a level of openness as to our preferences and inhibitions, to understand if our sexual approach could be aligned.


----------



## soulseer (Jul 26, 2013)

we met along time ago when young. it never occured to discuss the do's and donts of sex. 

we generally have good sex when it happens. 

Yet I have no idea what her dark and dirty fantasies are. I would love to know, but she is not a very open person when it comes to discussing sex.

Even though she is probably more sexually adventurous than I am.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

We had some discussion about sex before doing it, the discussion is ongoing and we tend to talk about sex a lot. IME men that cannot talk about sex are to be steered clear of, much prefer a man that can have a good open discussion about such an important aspect of our lives.


----------



## omega (Aug 2, 2011)

we did, but I think mainly because we're not into vanilla sex so it was a pretty big deal to establish that we were actually into the same things. because both of us had many years of struggling to find someone who was. It wasn't awkward, it was great. We were honest but have evolved since then.


----------

