# Separated and Wondering



## karajh (Jul 25, 2009)

Has anyone here ever been separated and had their marriage come back together?

I could really use some advice from someone who has been there. We are just now starting to re-connect and I do not want to mess it up. I have read a great deal of books so I am using them and the no contact thing go me where he started talking to me again. We do not have an abuse, or really major issues.. he just kinda went off the deep end for a few. No cheating on either side. 

Thanks!


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

There is a thread someone that people have responsed to....related to folks that have gotten back together. I can't remember where?

Your relationship sounds like mine...No abuse and no major issues. However, he did give me the "I love you but no longer in love with you" speech. 

I am doing the no contact thing as well. We have been separated for 1 month. We have been married for 24 years. How long did it take before he began to reconnect? 

There is a book that I picked up at a bookstore. It is a Christian author/counselor that wrote it....it's very helpful during the separation and restoring of the marriage. It is called When the One You Love Wants To Leave by Donal Harvey. It is a very good book. It includes the no contact advice as well.


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## karajh (Jul 25, 2009)

When we first separated 8 months ago we after the first 2 weeks we spent all our time together on the weekends still. He never has said that he was not in love with me.. but in May it started to get a bit strained and I just could not get comfortable around him anymore. I was stressing out over money and looking for a job. Long story short I ended up moving in with my mom in June. He only lives about 10 minutes away from me so he could keep his son in the same school system, my daughter and step-son see each other all the time. I lost my cell and my mom does not want him to call here so he has not been able to get in touch with me. About a week ago I went to a friends house and got her to take some new pics since I have lost weight and look much better now.. I sent them to him.. they blew him away.. He asked me to go out on Tuesday night and I went.. I did not tell him I loved him and I did not discuss anything about US at all.... Well he then asked me out for Tomorrow afternoon. I never know if things will happen when he says they will any more but I am learning to have patience and faith... God has brought me a long way in this. I will let you know how it goes and I will be praying for your situation as well! So the answer to your question it took about 1 month for him to respond to the no contact and really he was keeping in touch with me by e-mail before that.. I just want my life back... He is a great guy even though he did this crap!


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

karajh said:


> When we first separated 8 months ago we after the first 2 weeks we spent all our time together on the weekends still. He never has said that he was not in love with me.. but in May it started to get a bit strained and I just could not get comfortable around him anymore. I was stressing out over money and looking for a job. Long story short I ended up moving in with my mom in June. He only lives about 10 minutes away from me so he could keep his son in the same school system, my daughter and step-son see each other all the time. I lost my cell and my mom does not want him to call here so he has not been able to get in touch with me. About a week ago I went to a friends house and got her to take some new pics since I have lost weight and look much better now.. I sent them to him.. they blew him away.. He asked me to go out on Tuesday night and I went.. I did not tell him I loved him and I did not discuss anything about US at all.... Well he then asked me out for Tomorrow afternoon. I never know if things will happen when he says they will any more but I am learning to have patience and faith... God has brought me a long way in this. I will let you know how it goes and I will be praying for your situation as well! So the answer to your question it took about 1 month for him to respond to the no contact and really he was keeping in touch with me by e-mail before that.. I just want my life back... He is a great guy even though he did this crap!


So, I take it that you never really initiated contact once you decided not to. Of course losing your cell helped with the no contact! Actually, mine doesn't really contact me except regarding our daughter. 

I agree with wanting life back! A better life and marriage. However, whatever happens in my relationship it has brought me closer to GOD. I can't deny that this is a real positive. 

What were your main problems in the first place?


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