# Is the 'Bad Boy' thing really just a 'Bad Girl' thing?



## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

I've never really believed all this stuff about women falling for a 'bad boy' type for the reasons people think. I also don't think 'nice guys' are getting a bad rap for the reasons typically spouted. Hear me out.

I think the reason some women might become attracted to a 'bad boy' is because they feel like they are 'bad girls' underneath the exterior. Their childhood brought about a lot of repressed feelings that being with such a guy could help them to finally express. 

I think the 'nice guys' out there are actually seeking out these repressed 'bad girls' for similar repressed feelings and finding themselves rejected from the get go, leading to having a very unattractive bitterness that turns the 'nice girls' off.

I myself dated what some might think was a 'bad boy' for about 8mths in my teenage years, thinking he was my first love. I actually thought he was nice to begin with, then the real him started to show, I'm pretty sure I sabotaged that relationship, despite still liking him for the traits he first displayed to me. The next guy I ended up in a 5yr relationship with was a generally nice guy, just a bit boring intellectually, so it didn't last, which brings me to my next point.

Everyone is hung up on looks and fitness in regards to attraction, of guys 'manning up' when their wife's eyes start to wander. Maybe you should consider this from an intellectual viewpoint for a minute rather than a caveman viewpoint. Maybe some of the 'nice guys' are just intellectually boring. Their wives aren't wanting them to snub them emotionally and treat them like sex slaves, maybe these women are just finding their 'nice guys' conversation is boring as batsh1t. No stimulating discussions because they run for the hills or completely cower as soon as anything gets interesting.

DH nearly glows with pride when we're bantering and I get him with a quick comeback. He loves the challenge. I've asked him why and he says it displays strength, which I think could be interpreted to; he likes a woman who is intelligent and not afraid to show it. I feel the same way. I respect his intelligence. Despite him being pretty crap regarding helping with housework, I still love being with him. When he'd put on a bit of weight around the middle, I still loved being with him. Admittedly physical symptoms of an unhealthy body can be a turn off in the bedroom, but many people still stay with someone who isn't at their physical best all the time, why? Because it's more about what's between your ears people.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

breeze said:


> DH nearly glows with pride when we're bantering and I get him with a quick comeback. He loves the challenge. I've asked him why and he says it displays strength, which I think could be interpreted to; he likes a woman who is intelligent and not afraid to show it. I feel the same way. I respect his intelligence. Despite him being pretty crap regarding helping with housework, I still love being with him. When he'd put on a bit of weight around the middle, I still loved being with him. Admittedly physical symptoms of an unhealthy body can be a turn off in the bedroom, but many people still stay with someone who isn't at their physical best all the time, why? *Because it's more about what's between your ears* people.


I definitely agree with the bolded. A person's character is truly what draws (at least some of) us in. A man's inner strength and moral compass are his greatest assets.

But dh also weighs the same as he did 20 years ago, so that probably aids attraction, too. And now he is getting salt and pepper hair, and his face is showing his years, and I find it very attractive. We are growing older together. 

I really hope my boys will pick girls based on what is inside, and not just the packaging.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Enter Machiavelli in 3... 2... 1...


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I understand the attraction to Bad Boys...there is some strong allure to these types...they captivate our senses ...something in us wants to tame them...so he only has eyes for US....suddenly becoming a "one woman" man... though this doesn't always happen.. or it does for just a time, they win our heart , then destroy us when they move on to another.... The movies gave us the wrong script. 

So how does one define a Bad boy... for me...it goes something like this.....

I see those type of men as primarily looking to get laid, they have a c0cky confidence about it too...(& think not much of it...it's a common past time)... it's all about "Living it up"... not too much focus on tomorrow...they are generally more emotionally unavailable- because of that "I don't give a sh** attitude" (there goes the romance!)... more on the adrenaline junkie side (maybe he'll crash on his motorcycle!)....Once on the Harley -you can add the booze in one hand, a cigarette in the other ....and notice the tattoos while you're at it... they don't need anyone- just the open road....... they like to party with the boys... and many wouldn't care to get married or to be Fathers...










Everything I just said above would annoy me...GREATLY...though I'd probably still think he was HOT looking...yet NOT what I wanted in a man [email protected]#$ 

I met my "good guy" H when I was just 15... for what I needed at that time in my life...he fulfilled it...He picked me up when I was down...he gave me hope... he's been the best friend I have ever had... we shared the same enjoyments...simple as they may have been (movies, walks in the country, just being together).... we shared the same dreams / both wanted to get married...and have a family... couldn't ask for a better Father.

When it comes to excitement / challenge....I tend to look at this a little different .. we can challenge each other in various ways..... excitement can spring from a couple's chemistry... whether it's a bantering back & forth... one is hotter (feisty) and one is more laid back / cooler... (this would describe me & my H...) ...whereas I am good for getting a RISE out of him... getting him turned on, and excited ...more than his natural CALM state would generally allow for...

But then..he is SO GOOD FOR ME.... with his dry sense of humor..he just has a way to deal with me....an old friend described us like this one time..... I am a bottle of hot tabasco sauce and my H is as dry as a saltine cracker.. but ya know what.. IT WORKS !!

I'll take the good guys, thank you...so long as he has ENOUGH "EDGE".. did a thread on that once here...

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/mens-c...your-edge-can-you-explain-have-you-grown.html

I prefer Romance, a willing Transparency and stability...(this is good for raising a family)... over let's say what some of us seek in our youth...that living in the moment /Excitement / Mystery....as far as "challenge".. life hands us enough.. then you have kids!! 

The world would be boring if we were all the same though.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> Enter Machiavelli in 3... 2... 1...


:rofl::rofl::rofl:


Hey, I like Mach's advice..


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

over20 said:


> :rofl::rofl::rofl:
> 
> 
> Hey, I like Mach's advice..


Ditto.


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## Mostlycontent (Apr 16, 2014)

JustPuzzled said:


> First off, the term "nice guy" needs to be defined. I know that there is a whole book about this (NMMNG) but lately the term has been used in various ways.
> 
> One type of nice guy is the type made semi-famous in the now-defunct (and hilarious) Tumblr blog "The Nice Guys of OK Cupid". These are the guys who see the world in a particularly distasteful way. That is, they think that because they are polite and well-mannered they deserve time, attention, and sex from women. The UCSB gunman saw himself as this sort of nice guy (extreme case, I know, and mental illness no doubt played a part here, as well). I do not think that these are the nice guys we are talking about here.
> 
> ...


I tend to agree with your last paragraph as well. Admittedly, I'm not sure what is meant by the term, "bad boy" either. I picture a thug or a criminal in my mind but I'm fairly certain that is not what OP meant. 

Perhaps a "bad boy" is a guy that is reckless, irresponsible and likes to party, which I'm certain would have described many of us when we were in our teens and early 20s. It certainly described me. I could put up a good facade but I was definitely those things in my youth yet nobody referred to me as a "bad boy" type. Maybe you have to have long, greasy hair, wear a leather jacket and ride a Harley like SA's picture above.


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## Adeline (Jan 24, 2014)

the term "bad boy" can mean so many different things, but I'm convinced that my husband being a form of "bad boy" is the reason why I'm still so wildly attracted to him even though I simultaneously hate him.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I keep thinking that I don't like bad boys, per se. The guys that I have FZ'ed were because I didn't find them physically attractive that I could kiss them and eventually have sex with them.

My experience with a "nice" guy or seemingly nice guy on the surface occurred around 2004 to 2006. In public, he was doting, even offering a couple of times to tie my boots. 

But as time went on, I noticed that he had an agenda of his own. He wanted us to appear as committed partners to the world, but at the same time his wanting to move in with me came across more as his looking for cheap rent. 

And as my sister wisely put it, men of a certain age (he was late 40s at that time) are keen to secure companionship for their old age even while they may not be interested in actually marrying someone.

I am trying to understand why this "good girl, bad boy" paradigm exists. I guess in the media there was the hookup of J Lo and Puff Daddy. And the ultimate was Whitney Houston and Bobbi Brown. But how often do those extremes happen in real life. Plus J Lo's boat was very nicely lifted by her liaison with PD, professionally speaking; even if he did cheat on her. She's pretty tough as nails herself.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Mostlycontent said:


> I tend to agree with your last paragraph as well. Admittedly, I'm not sure what is meant by the term, "bad boy" either. I picture a thug or a criminal in my mind but I'm fairly certain that is not what OP meant.
> 
> *Perhaps a "bad boy" is a guy that is reckless, irresponsible and likes to party, which I'm certain would have described many of us when we were in our teens and early 20s. It certainly described me. I could put up a good facade but I was definitely those things in my youth yet nobody referred to me as a "bad boy" type*.


 I would have referred to you as a "bad boy".. reckless and drinking is enough for me!!

It just seems an overwhelming % of people are like this in their youth.....I never was.. my Husband never was.... the worst he did was smoke ...(and quit for me)..once he got drunk with the neighbors down the street (before we met)....passed out near the rail road tracks and crawled home....he never did that again... 

Our sons never did anything like this... our oldest had his 1st beer with US on his Birthday at a nearby Brewery !... It's almost like it's a right of passage for the majority of young people.. I don't get it... I don't see the FUN in being reckless, you might get killed...you might hurt someone.... I don't handle being around drunks well.. my Step Dad was a severe alcoholic.. I guess I seen too much -from what a life looks like if you don't kick the habit.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Attraction is the result of a set of complex interactions and reactions in our conscious and subconscious brain.

Different people are attracted to different thing and it's can be vey subjective based on culture,age , past experiences , proximity and an endless list of possibilities.

But n marriage and LTR's the attraction process if slightly different imo.

For example , I have very intellectually stimulating conversations with brilliant women, about art , music, politics, history , science and I'm not sexually attracted or any other way ,in the least to them.
I appreciate sophisticated women but simplicity attracts me.

My wife and I on the other hand have some very deep , intimate convos, sometimes just plain old stuff that have emotional significance to both of us and that makes me feel even more attracted to her.
Places we've been to , things we've done and the fact that we can be so open.

On the visceral level, we're both attracted to each other's body type.
But intellectual stuff bore the sh!t out of her.

This morning we lay on the bed chatting and she's telling me that she wants to learn to play the piano. So we start talking about it and me explaining placement of the hand , chords and so on to her. I learned to play piano in elementary school.
She takes up her tablet , says she thinks she might want to order a keyboard.
I told her a better idea would be to order a_ harpsichord_.
She's puzzled and asks what's a harpsichord?
I told her search it on Google images,
When the pics came up , she began hitting me and screaming, me laughing hysterically.
She hugged and kissed me and told me I'm a naughty boy, but she loves that about me.

It felt nice to hear that she still attracted to that part of me, and truth be told, I_ am_ still sexually attracted to her sweet innocence...


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

Some are so bad, they are good. 

Like me.


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## rubpy3 (Nov 19, 2013)

A "bad boy" isn't necessarily a thug or a reckless biker. I'm sure there are loads of "loser bikers" who has absolutely no idea how to attract a mate. Females are smarter than going out of their way looking for the biggest jerks on world and lusting after them. Bad boy is a very modern phrase used to describe a type of males.

"Bad boy" is more of an attitude than specific action - it is an unapologetic expression of traits associated masculinity, such as adventurous, risk taking, fun loving, and most importantly, confidence.

Traditionally, you have the stories of the knight in shiny armor slaying the dragon and rescuing the princess, whom he later marries. The qualities exhibited by the knight would be: athleticism, courage, and adventure. 

Modern day, I don't know when it started that we have the term "good girl bad boy", we start saying that only bad boys get the girls. What do these bad boys do? They openly defy the society (individuality), assert themselves (confidence), and do not settle down (adventure). 

It would be easy to see the parallels between a hero of old day and a "bad boy" of modern day. Going back in the history of human kind, we had a use for these "heroic" personalities: conquestors, gladiators, soldiers, explorers. Doesn't Hercules, a hero of mythology, sounds at least a bit like a modern "bad boy"? 

What I'm getting at is that "bad boy" is just a modern term used to describe a masculine male. This person had taken on many identities throughout history, and he is a hero when the society demands this type of courageous advanturous personality, but becomes a social outcast, a "bad boy", when we have a society that demands stability.

The social status of such personality does not influence the female attraction to this type of masculinity.


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## rubpy3 (Nov 19, 2013)

We still say that the dream of every girl to marry a "knight in shiny armour". The essence of this was distilled through hundreds of years of a society plagued by wars, outlaws, and instability. Women desired the knight that could increase their social status, amours and chivalrous, put food on the table, and defend their offsprings. Back several hundred years ago, there was no attraction to bad boys - convicts sent to Australia, drunkards from gin house, or bandits living in the forest.

The expression "bad boy gets girls" is simply too modern to be taken as a serious thought of sexual attention.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

rubpy3 said:


> *Traditionally, you have the stories of the knight in shiny armor slaying the dragon and rescuing the princess, whom he later marries. The qualities exhibited by the knight would be: athleticism, courage, and adventure.
> 
> Modern day, I don't know when it started that we have the term "good girl bad boy", we start saying that only bad boys get the girls. What do these bad boys do? They openly defy the society (individuality), assert themselves (confidence), and do not settle down (adventure). *
> 
> ...


 I can't argue with your post at all... how true !...The white knights of Old at least married the women they loved... A whole lot less of that happening today!.... There was such a thing as courting women... winning her affections... showing honorabilty towards a Lady...even those courageous men did that..

In today's society ...if you haven't gotten your rocks off with a variety of women...you are not deemed as "masculine" by other males.. even females by their own actions/ choices perpetuate this....I think our world is fvcked up personally....

White Knights of old were Romantic, it was about "one woman"...(we have a syndrome about that today...everything has been turned upside down)..... Bad Boys are not Romantic ...they want to keep spreading their seed. So long as women keep loving and lusting after them, they have no reason to change..they are getting what they want...and plenty of it.


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## HuggyBear (Aug 4, 2012)

rubpy3 said:


> ...Back several hundred years ago, there was no attraction to bad boys - convicts sent to Australia, drunkards from gin house, or bandits living in the forest.
> 
> The expression "bad boy gets girls" is simply too modern to be taken as a serious thought of sexual attention.


"Back several hundred years ago", as well as back twenty thousand years ago, there was certainly this same attraction towards the "bad boy" mating strategy/psychology... these traits, as well as the attraction women have for these traits would have never survived or be present in humans if they weren't "tried and true" products of evolution.

Of course, the whole "bad boy" thing is several different BAD psychologies, such as psychopathy and machiavellianism... basically guys who put their pigs in the pen until they feel like having some bacon.

The dark in "tall, dark and handsome" seems to be a descriptor for psychology, rather than complexion. (while women may be attracted to a darker complexion, the rapid, global spread of the mutation responsible for blue eyes, as well as it's present prevalence in higher social, financial and political strata seems to indicate a new direction)

The whole "bad boy" thing seems to be okay for a fling or short-term relationships before females "wise up", or as is often the case in dealing with "bad boys", they "get in trouble".

In any case, the whole "knight in shining armor" thing is a modern invention, brought about by fairy tales and romantic novels... if history and it's truth shows us anything, any woman of less-than-nobility would have dreaded an encounter with a knight or lord, being little more than his chattel property... or worse.


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

'Bad boy'? Not necessarily

Complicated, emotional, strong, silent, adventurous but also able to settle and commit - yeah that's what gives me the horn. It's pretty rare


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

I do have to agree that the knight in shining armour thing would more likely be a modern romanticism. I doubt the knights of old were into wooing anyone, unless there was some benefit to the match for the finances or family, more likely to rape and slit a girl's throat than send her flowers.

What I term as 'bad boys' are the dregs of society in my eyes. The drugos, the womanizers, the guys that would start fights constantly and basically the type of people that put their own needs before the needs of everyone else. Losers. That's what 'bad boy' means to me.

If we're talking about assertive males, guys who stand up for themselves and others, guys who aren't afraid to make choices in life but aren't complete pigs about it, well, they aren't 'bad boys' to me.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

It seems that TAMers tend to lump men who can easily get women into one category called "bad boys". No matter what it is about them that easily attracts women (PUAs, the "it" factor (magnetic personality) the "edge" factor, the adventurous, rugged factor, the rebel factor) if they easily attract and therefore bang a lot of women they are considred on TAM to be "bad boys".

There is one aspect about being a bad boy that people forget -- well, two. (1) it eventually feels empty inside and (2) bad boys need love too! 

I'm speaking from the viewpoint of being married to a reformed "bad boy".


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

rubpy3 said:


> A "bad boy" isn't necessarily a thug or a reckless biker. I'm sure there are loads of "loser bikers" who has absolutely no idea how to attract a mate. Females are smarter than going out of their way looking for the biggest jerks on world and lusting after them. Bad boy is a very modern phrase used to describe a type of males.
> 
> "Bad boy" is more of an attitude than specific action - it is an unapologetic expression of traits associated masculinity, such as adventurous, risk taking, fun loving, and most importantly, confidence.
> 
> ...


I don't get any similarity between bad boys and knight in shining armour. Quite the opposite, actually. Knight in shining armour I think more of protector and defender. However the true knights were probably crude and insensitive back in those days.


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

committed4ever said:


> It seems that TAMers tend to lump men who can easily get women into one category called "bad boys". No matter what it is about them that easily attracts women (PUAs, the "it" factor (magnetic personality) the "edge" factor, the adventurous, rugged factor, the rebel factor) if they easily attract and therefore bang a lot of women they are considred on TAM to be "bad boys".
> 
> There is one aspect about being a bad boy that people forget -- well, two. (1) it eventually feels empty inside and (2) bad boys need love too!
> 
> I'm speaking from the viewpoint of being married to a reformed "bad boy".


:iagree:

To me a bad boy is a straight up thug. Are there woman that are attracted to men like this. Sure there are. But most of the guys that are successful with women aren't bad boys. My entire crew was on the deans list all through college yet none of us struggled for female companionship. The other qualities like looks, personality, confidence etc. etc. matter much more.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Guess I have seen this pretty simply as I have re entered the dating world for last couple years. Women like confidence. "Bad boys" typically have an I don't give a **** attitude and put their own wants and needs ahead of others. But the I don't give a **** attitude and confidence seem to wear the same on some guys.

I know for first couple of months I started dating I was nervous and tried to be over accommodating on dates. For those who have seen Thr movie Blended I was Adam Sandler lol. But after a few months I got frustrated over not getting second dates and trying to hard was counter productive. So I stopped caring, started looking at dates as just a meeting, Stopped buying dinners for every first date and when I stopped caring I got a lot more attention. Once that started working I became more confident in my dating.

I think a majority of women, notice I said women not girls, want a confident man not a hard core criminal bad boy.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Wolf, it sounds like you started to just be yourself. There is really nothing as attractive as someone comfortable in their own skin, just being their authentic selves.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

committed4ever said:


> *It seems that TAMers tend to lump men who can easily get women into one category called "bad boys". No matter what it is about them that easily attracts women (PUAs, the "it" factor (magnetic personality) the "edge" factor, the adventurous, rugged factor, the rebel factor) if they easily attract and therefore bang a lot of women they are considred on TAM to be "bad boys".*
> 
> There is one aspect about being a bad boy that people forget -- well, two. (1) it eventually feels empty inside and (2) bad boys need love too!
> 
> I'm speaking from the viewpoint of being married to a reformed "bad boy".


:iagree:

Lol,
Oversimplification of a complex phenomenon. The " _pigeon hole principle_."
Take everything that has feathers , throw it in a box labeled 
" pigeons."
Couldn't have said it any better myself!


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## SoWhat (Jan 7, 2012)

I tell my younger single male friends to simply observe how women respond to certain types of guys/behaviors - not necessarily what they say they're into. 

There's plenty of research that shows that women are typically *most* sexually attracted to the dark triad - Machiavellinism, narcissism, and psychopathy. However, you don't have to be Richard Ramirez, Chris Brown, James Bond, etc, to have women interested in you. 

That is, I think you can be a "bad boy" without being a bad human being. As commited4ever points out, people often apply the label backwards (women are interested in him so he must be a bad boy) rather than forwards. 

Don't be a pushover, retain a healthy level of emotional independence, stand firm in your beliefs, don't be afraid to give as good as you take, keep some secrets - none of those things are "bad" but they might earn you a "bad boy" label from people who aren't used to seeing that sort of self-confidence/reliance.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Sometimes the "bad boy" thing IS a "bad girl" thing. You may have gotten a female who runs with thugs, thieves and liars. That's her friend group. You are this stable and predictible provider. She loves the comfort.

Occasionally she would like people more in her group. This is what it is...


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

First they want the "bad boy", and when they get it and deal with the things that are associated with "bad boy" they complain.

Well, isn't that what you wanted?

I don't get it, but all I can say is people pave their own road.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

this is a great subject and intrigues me, because i've been victimized by 'bad boys' and because it's a great befuddlement.

Remember how 'nice girl' sandra bullock married that scumbag tattoed biker jesse james, only to discover (shockingly!) that he is a bad boy and was cheating on her?

It's undeniable IMHO.

I had a long term 'exclusive' relationship with a lady I was in love with. She was very smart, had her RN and was a medical charts auditor for a large hospital.

from the beginning she told me about this guy who worked at the hospital. he was plant manager. not a bad job. but he also was a womanizing poser with slicked back hair. would hit on ALL the women, wasn't shy about saying he wasn't into relationships. would go out every weekend and try for hook-ups at bars. she swore that there was nothing romantic, but that he one time called her 'hot'. like a dummy, i believed her.

much later about 2 years into the relationship, a neighbor moved in across the river from her. she told me he had a girlfriend but she liked to hang out there, even if she was there, sometimes not. this guy was a fireman. good job right? except he was also a stumbling alcoholic by his own admission. he once told me he was severely depressed because of his ex. My gf once told me he would start drinking at noon and not stop until he passed out later that afternoon or night. she told me one time he walked into a restaurant she was at and started to grab her tits and get totally obnoxious. she had to pry him off and start yelling at him.

what did both these guys have in common? you guessed it.
although professing her love to me, I found out after three years 
that she did both of them during our relationship.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

The average male has a story about a bad boy getting into a good girl's pant's when he couldn't , and they often wonder why.

The reason is simple.

Sexual attraction isn't always subject to cognition.


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

Caribbean Man said:


> The average male has a story about a bad boy getting into a good girl's pant's when he couldn't , and they often wonder why.
> 
> The reason is simple.
> 
> Sexual attraction isn't always subject to cognition.


:iagree:

So true. Its not just bad boys either. More than once I've seen an educated women hook up with a mental midget solely on the basis of physical attraction "for fun". Sexual chemistry is a very fluid thing. The traits we look for in long term vs. short term partners is always different.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

ReformedHubby said:


> :iagree:
> 
> So true. Its not just bad boys either. More than once I've seen an educated women hook up with a mental midget solely on the basis of physical attraction "for fun". Sexual chemistry is a very fluid thing. The traits we look for in long term vs. short term partners is always different.


And it works both ways.

Sometimes as men we find ourselves sexually attracted to a certain woman who might disgust us on a conscious level, but on a visceral level she turn us on.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

jorgegene said:


> this is a great subject and intrigues me, because i've been victimized by 'bad boys' and because it's a great befuddlement.
> 
> Remember how 'nice girl' sandra bullock married that scumbag tattoed biker jesse james, only to discover (shockingly!) that he is a bad boy and was cheating on her?
> 
> ...


lucky guy.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

actually the bad boy thing is when a women is thinking with her vagina .kinda like when a guy thinks with his little head.


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## rubpy3 (Nov 19, 2013)

I don't think that "knight in shining armour" is a modern invention at all. Quite contrary, such an idealization is prevalent in the western history. Don Quixote swears his services to Aldonza Lorenzo, whom he imagine to be Dulcinea. The concept of courtly love existed long before this, and much about it was discussed and expressed.

Here's a short youtube video mocking the "nice guys". 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8teRxOSNHs

What strike me the most is the woman's comment - "At least stalkers have balls". All the womanizers out there know what they want - they want to get inside girl's panty. They go out there and do it. The bad boy secure knowing what he wants, and goes out there to get it. The nice boy just complaints about it.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

So all sorts of different definitions for a bad boy. To me a bad boy is an out and out thug. Likely to get physically and verbally abusive. Definitely not somone you can trust. Lies. More likely to commit date rape for example. Typically what we might call a loser BUT he does not have to be. He may very well be entitled and simply use others for the fun of using them. This goes way beyond knowing what he wants. You can know what you ant and not be a total scumbag.

I think there is a vast area in between between "Nice" guys and "Bad" boys.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

rubpy3 said:


> I don't think that "knight in shining armour" is a modern invention at all. Quite contrary, such an idealization is prevalent in the western history. Don Quixote swears his services to Aldonza Lorenzo, whom he imagine to be Dulcinea. The concept of courtly love existed long before this, and much about it was discussed and expressed.
> 
> Here's a short youtube video mocking the "nice guys".
> 
> ...


What's wrong with wanting to get into a females panties? You may very well want that, but not be a nasty or detractive person to deal with.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

chillymorn said:


> actually the bad boy thing is when a women is thinking with her vagina .kinda like when a guy thinks with his little head.


If she is looking for LTR, yes

If she is looking for fun and fun only, than whatever. The problem starts when you get into the bed and your feelings go into over drive and next thing you know you have feelings for the "bad boy".....and can't/don't want to walk away.

hehe


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

DoF said:


> If she is looking for LTR, yes
> 
> If she is looking for fun and fun only, than whatever. The problem starts when you get into the bed and your feelings go into over drive and next thing you know you have feelings for the "bad boy".....and can't/don't want to walk away.
> 
> hehe


A "smart" woman might not want to hear a unintelligents bad boys communication, the swagger might not be attractive for her.

But then sometimes they do want a dumb one intentionally.


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## learning to love myself (Apr 18, 2013)

Adeline said:


> the term "bad boy" can mean so many different things, but I'm convinced that my husband being a form of "bad boy" is the reason why I'm still so wildly attracted to him even though I simultaneously hate him.


I'm with you on this one!
Mine can be such a A-hole but I do believe that is what also attracts me.


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## rubpy3 (Nov 19, 2013)

treyvion said:


> What's wrong with wanting to get into a females panties? You may very well want that, but not be a nasty or detractive person to deal with.


Exactly! nothing wrong with it!


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

learning to love myself said:


> I'm with you on this one!
> Mine can be such a A-hole but I do believe that is what also attracts me.


And according to your "reasons", its also why you cheated on him.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Here's the thing about bad boys.

They go for what they want even when society tells them not to. This includes women. And I've been surprised many times what you can get from a woman by just trying to take it (respectfully of course).

They also don't give a crap about the rules if they get in the way of what they want.

And lastly, they are confident and convey self-assuredness because they are detached from the outcome... because they care first and foremost about their own happiness.

That's a pretty sexy package.

A guy with a brain and as set of morals can use this to his advantage in life... by being all these things but with a moral compass.

Me? I've become quite the bad boy but in a good way. It seems to be working, not only in my marriage, but in my career, too.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Entropy3000 said:


> So all sorts of different definitions for a bad boy. To me a bad boy is an out and out thug. Likely to get physically and verbally abusive. Definitely not somone you can trust. Lies. More likely to commit date rape for example. Typically what we might call a loser BUT he does not have to be. He may very well be entitled and simply use others for the fun of using them. This goes way beyond knowing what he wants. You can know what you ant and not be a total scumbag.
> 
> I think there is a vast area in between between "Nice" guys and "Bad" boys.


I don't agree with this at all.

Rape isn't "bad boy" behaviour, it's criminal and cowardly behaviour.

A bad boy walks right up to the sweet girl, puts his arm around her, and says "come to my place."

If that girl says "No" he drops her and moves on to the next one without giving a damn. Because there's always another girl.

That's why he's so appealing, and also why the sweet girl often says "Yes".

Because she knows he has options, and will exercise those options at will. 

Also, there's nothing sexier to a lot of women than when other women want you. I sure get my world rocked when I turn other women's heads.


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