# Anger and Karma THAT'S NOT HAPPENING!



## sunflower (Dec 15, 2008)

Hi All, 

I have not been on here for awhile now. Things have been somewhat looking up in my life. My husband and Best friend betrayed me about 4 years ago I believe. It's been awhile.... Any who they kissed and that was the just of it. Well we all have some mutual peeps and we have hung out a few times. Kinda actually miss her? Weird I know! But would you give them a second chance? 

Second thing. Does anyone believe in Karma?? I mean really I am friendless and here she is with a New Best Friend that is attached to the hip. It kinda pisses me off. I thought that Karma came full circle. How does someone honestly get so lucky. I really do miss having that close friend in my life. that sister cause I never had that... 

Just some thoughts!


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## Wanting1 (Apr 26, 2012)

Honestly, 
I would never trust them to be in the same space again. I get that you miss her. You have probably been reluctant to trust any friends since this happened. If your BFF can do that to you, who can you trust right?

I had a BFF betray me and it took me years to completely get over it. And you know what? I have friends now, but I will probably never have a BFF on that level again. The level of trust I gave her, made me more vulnerable than I thought I could be. With that level of vulnerability, the pain was increased so much. So, I have friends, good friends, but none that get to the core of me like she did. I can't risk that again. But life is good. 

A few years after our fallout, she reached out to me, and I was so tempted. I mean, I really, really wanted it. I spent weeks and even months trying to convince myself to resume our friendship. But ultimately, I couldn't do it. In the intervening years, I had married my husband (who she has never met), and I knew that I could never be comfortable with her being around him. And that was my deciding factor. We are not friends. We never will be.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Karma can take YEARS to come around. Even lifetimes. True karma isn't doled out like a bad luck charm. It's worked off through a lifetime...or not...and your next birth puts you on a level equivalent to the karma you have balanced, or not.

Eh, that's very convoluted, sorry. But don't worry about what they are or aren't 'getting' in life. Just go be awesome.


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

NO for the second chance.

Karma bus takes a longer route, at times. So hold on.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Maybe this will help. I lived in a Hare Krishna temple for a while and I do believe in karma, but in the 'western' way of thinking...



> Karma is not punishment or retribution but simply an extended expression or consequence of natural acts. Karma means "deed" or "act" and more broadly names the universal principle of cause and effect, action and reaction, that governs all life. The effects experienced are also able to be mitigated by actions and are not necessarily fated. That is to say, a particular action now is not binding to some particular, pre-determined future experience or reaction; it is not a simple, one-to-one correspondence of reward or punishment.


So like I said, people do pay in one way or another for their actions, but you may never see it...but don't worry about them. Just go be awesome.


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## anonymouskitty (Jun 5, 2012)

whether karma bus goes full circle or not is immaterial to how your life is going to turn out. Sure, something might happen to the OW , you might feel good about it for a while but then what?? 

The best way to deal with this is to stop investing your emotions on OW, the fact that you still want revenge or something bad to happen shows that the OW can still push all your buttons and has a hold on both your marriage and your life


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## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

I don't believe in karma per se I believe that by choosing to cheat. Then that person has to start justifying lying, and other forms of bad behavior. Once that person does leave a marriage without dealing with the acceptance of that bad behavior the individual is doomed to accept that as part of his life. There fore his next relationship is setup for failure. Eventually it creeps into his daily life and the next thing you know the guy/girl is lying to everyone. 
Life is a series of choices make good ones and bad stuff is less likely to come your way. Make bad choices and you end up with a horrible life. But no I don't think that it is truly KARMA.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

Not knowing whether former OW-Best friend searched her soul and learned something about the affiar.. If not the likelyhood is she has no idea about what looks like real friendship but superficially. She obvioulsy wasn't really you friend, she's not likely best friend with this other person either. Friends don't do this to each other.
Friends and buddies are not the same thing.


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## vi_bride04 (Mar 28, 2012)

Why would you want to be friends with someone who went after your husband???

And did he tell you they just kissed or did you actually see it happen? If he only admitted to that, there was more than kissing going on.

Here is a good thread to read on "just kissing": http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/49268-only-kiss.html


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## Unsure in Seattle (Sep 6, 2011)

Karma is not a real thing. It's something we think about to justify "Why do bad things happen to good people?" to ourselves. It's a fictional construct*. 

People need to be good in life because it's the right thing to do; because life is meant to be enjoyable; not because they are scared of the reprecussions of not being "good." In short, screw them and live your life to the hilt. Don't sit around waiting for "the karma bus" or whatever.

Those are awful, tainted people. The best way to enjoy the fruits of "karma" is to live the best life you can.


*apologies to those who genuinely believe in karma as part of their religion or what have you. Your beliefs are your own. I mean this as an attack against those who sit around, waiting for the faceless scales of karmic justice to swing their way because they saw an episode of "My Name is Earl" or the like, which is nonsense. Life simply just doesn't work in a tit for tat fashion like that.

Your life (or lives) may vary.


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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

sunflower said:


> Hi All,
> 
> I have not been on here for awhile now. Things have been somewhat looking up in my life. My husband and Best friend betrayed me about 4 years ago I believe. It's been awhile.... Any who they kissed and that was the just of it. Well we all have some mutual peeps and we have hung out a few times. Kinda actually miss her? Weird I know! But would you give them a second chance?
> 
> ...


I know you miss your friend, but you can't trust her. She betrayed you and you can never go back to where it was before. I had that happen years ago when I was dating someone whom I thought was exclusive. Come to find out that my best friend at the time stayed at his apartment and did the deed. I broke up with the boyfriend and dumped the friend. Years later, I still keep in touch with the friend, but at a distance.

I also have a new friend who is like a sister to me and who would never betray the trust bestowed to her (she doesn't like my stbxh anyway (nor do I like HER stbxh - but that's a whole other topic) 

Surely you can open up and make new friends. Yes, it takes years to build that trust, but it can happen. There are other "sisters" out there who would respect you enough to NEVER go after your H.

As for Karma, yes, as others have said it sometimes takes years. The "friend" that betrayed my trust is not living so well now, jumping from boyfriend to boyfriend and has never settled down or raised a family or really has any comprehension of what a normal family life is like. It's sad, and I do feel bad about her life, but I have moved on.


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## Vanton68 (Feb 5, 2012)

sunflower said:


> Hi All,
> 
> I have not been on here for awhile now. Things have been somewhat looking up in my life. My husband and Best friend betrayed me about 4 years ago I believe. It's been awhile.... Any who they kissed and that was the just of it. Well we all have some mutual peeps and we have hung out a few times. Kinda actually miss her? Weird I know! But would you give them a second chance?
> 
> ...


No on the 2nd chance

Karma might as well be magic to me. I don't see it, many cheaters plot to put themselves in better positions and improve their lives while the BS is left to pick up the pieces. I'm sure someone will say but "karma is real my ex- [insert bad thing here]". So to that; what about the 4 year old who just died of cancer? Random freaking events are going to affect people's lives randomly (no matter if your evil or a Saint).


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