# Why are some men stingy with money?



## purplekisses83 (May 4, 2014)

Guys if you was married for almost 6 yrs and your wife waits for you hand and foot she waits for you to get off of work have your dinner ready and your lunch ready when you come home for lunch break..and tends to the kids..and she asks you for money to go shopping to have sometime for herself whats wrong with giving her 100 or 200 dollars..i'm tryin to figure out cuz my husbadn wont do it..its always you too independent so you don't need my money..but why not share sometimes I mean even a independent woman wants money from their spouse sometimes..what's wrong with this picture


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

purplekisses83 said:


> Guys if you was married for almost 6 yrs and your wife waits for you hand and foot she waits for you to get off of work have your dinner ready and your lunch ready when you come home for lunch break..and tends to the kids..and she asks you for money to go shopping to have sometime for herself whats wrong with giving her 100 or 200 dollars..i'm tryin to figure out cuz my husbadn wont do it..its always you too independent so you don't need my money..but why not share sometimes I mean even a independent woman wants money from their spouse sometimes..*what's wrong with this picture*


Combined with all of your other threads...I don't even know where to begin...

I suppose my first question would be how old are you two? It doesn't sound like either of you are very old or have much experience with relationships...


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

purplekisses83 said:


> Guys if you was married for almost 6 yrs and your wife waits for you hand and foot she waits for you to get off of work have your dinner ready and your lunch ready when you come home for lunch break..and tends to the kids..and she asks you for money to go shopping to have sometime for herself whats wrong with giving her 100 or 200 dollars..i'm tryin to figure out cuz my husbadn wont do it..its always you too independent so you don't need my money..but why not share sometimes I mean even a independent woman wants money from their spouse sometimes..what's wrong with this picture


Well what's wrong with that picture is that a wife isn't supposed to have to ask her husband for shopping money.
Wife says that she wants to go shopping for some stuff for herself, husband is supposed to ask how much money do you need?

In fact, most couples have a joint account where they both agree exactly how much money is spent on what items , necessities etc.

Based on what you said, your husband seems to be controlling you by restricting your access to finance, which amounts to an abusive of power.


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## purplekisses83 (May 4, 2014)

samyeagar said:


> Combined with all of your other threads...I don't even know where to begin...
> 
> I suppose my first question would be how old are you two? It doesn't sound like either of you are very old or have much experience with relationships...


In he's in his late 20s and im in my early 30s


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## purplekisses83 (May 4, 2014)

Caribbean Man said:


> Well what's wrong with that picture is that a wife isn't supposed to have to ask her husband for shopping money.
> Wife says that she wants to go shopping for some stuff for herself, husband is supposed to ask how much money do you need?
> 
> In fact, most couples have a joint account where they both agree exactly how much money is spent on what items , necessities etc.
> ...


This hit home with me:iagree:


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Do you stay at home/don't work? If so, then you should have discussed this pre-marriage and/or start discussing it now.

If this is a constant and you don't work, I'd say, get a job. That way you don't have to ask for money.


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## Nikita2270 (Mar 22, 2014)

> I mean even a independent woman wants money from their spouse sometimes..what's wrong with this picture


lol...no, no we don't.


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## soulseer (Jul 26, 2013)

What? Men are expected to dish out money to wifes? 

Does that mean wifes should dish out sex to husbands? Just because? 

I dont know...I have a very very tight budget that I work with where there often just isnt spare money to throw around for 'shopping entertainment'.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

soulseer said:


> What? Men are expected to dish out money to wifes?
> 
> Does that mean wifes should dish out sex to husbands? Just because?


Lol


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Men aren't any more stingy with money than females. 

When you're married technically you should be mature enough to look at your budget and decide if you can afford that $200 shopping trip without causing stress on yourself or your spouse. You don't "ask" your man for money. You say something that resembles "hey,I'm going shopping for some things I want.I reviewed the budget and we're doing just fine.I'll likely cap my spending somewhere around $200 or less. If there's something you were wanting,let me know so I can adjust my spending so you can have what you want too."

If you're not sharing money and every thing is separate,you have no right to expect a damn thing from him other than his half of living expenses,household expenses,and any child related expenses.
Why should he pay to fund your shopping trip if you're making your own money?


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

I first thought that you were a SAHM but from another post it appears that you either are/were working or have access to your own money. So then it is curious why you feel the need for him to literally take money out of his pocket and hand it to you for shopping. Why do you feel the need to do this? What difference does it make to you whether the money comes from him or you? If you watch the kids all day then I guess you work nights/weekends?

ETA: Don`t know why I didn`t think to look at your profile. So I see you are self-employed. Read 5 Love Languages. I have a feeling which love language is yours. Discuss it with your husband and see if you can resolve these issues you have with him.


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## Aspydad (Oct 17, 2013)

To me it depends on who keeps track of the budget and money available to spend. My wife just does not like to do that so I am the one who does it. 

I grew up in a home where my parents did not have allot of money and they were always stressed about it. So I think it is kind of my nature because of where I came from to not want to waste (no matter how much money I have.) Also, for whatever reason, I think in 1980's dollars so I am kind of cheap when it comes to buying things.

So the way my wife and I handle money is that for items that she needs that are more than say a couple hundred dollars, she consults me because we do live on a budget and I know where we are at all times - and she does not and this is the only reason I would prefer her to consult me. She actually grew up in a home were money was plenty and she actually just purchased anything she needed whenever she needed - she did this when we were first married and really got us in trouble a few time as she just did not understand that money was limited.

So for me - if you as my wife (or my kids) said that you wanted to go to the mall to spend $200 I would be stressed just because of where I came from - even if we had $200 in savings to spend. Know, if my wife (or kids) came to me and said I need "this" because of "whatever" I do not get stressed and just say great - go ahead - as long as it was something needed – and the money is there.

I do understand that "something needed" is a very generic term - but, even if that something is a necklace so that an outfit looks nicer, as long as we have the money I will not stress about this because I let my wife define what her needs are. Same for me - if I need a new fishing pole even though I have four other poles in the garage, my wife would let me determine if it is a need. 

My opinion is – as long as the spouses are on the same page – they both understand what is in the budget and someone keeps track – then the stress about money will be greatly reduced.


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## ChargingCharlie (Nov 14, 2012)

In our case, it's because DW keeps giving $ to her dumbass, drama queen sister, so that she can pay for things that she doesn't need but says that she can't afford to get rid of. Also, DW has about as much financial sense as our dog.


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

purplekisses83 said:


> Guys if you was married for almost 6 yrs and your wife waits for you hand and foot she waits for you to get off of work have your dinner ready and your lunch ready when you come home for lunch break..and tends to the kids..and she asks you for money to go shopping to have sometime for herself whats wrong with giving her 100 or 200 dollars..i'm tryin to figure out cuz my husbadn wont do it..its always you too independent so you don't need my money..but why not share sometimes I mean even a independent woman wants money from their spouse sometimes..what's wrong with this picture


Money issues are way too complex and we don't have enough information to properly comment. We don't know how much you or he make or what your spending patterns are like or how much debt you have etc.

I will simply say this. Your husband my subscribe to the old adage....."The easiest way to HAVE money is not spend it"


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## Toshiba2020 (Mar 1, 2012)

Sit down and talk with him, you should have equal access to the finances but you need to discuss how much money is being made, how much is being spent, how much is being saved and what each partner is allowed to spend each month. In my household we dont discuss purchases under $100, honestly i dont even bother for anything under a couple hundred, but then again our household income is $150k so having a 30 min conversation about my wife wanting to buy a $200 purse isnt even worth my time, just buy it and leave me alone lol.

How much money is he spending every month on his hobbies? 
do you have room in you budget, maybe he knows something you dont? 
maybe he has different priorities, is he wanting to pay off the car loan early and thats why he said no to your spending?


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