# married young.can this really last?



## ds10 (Jan 31, 2009)

my wife and i have been together for six years and have two kids,ages 5 and 2.we have been going thru some rough times diffrent issues like most other relationships.the problem is that she was 19 when we got together and i was 22.i am concerned that maybe we didnt really fully live our youths individually.going out,dating different people,all the stuff people usually do before they settle down and get married.i am worried that this might come back to haunt us in the future either on her side or mine.i just wanna get the opinion of other people that may be able to relate to this or other couples that married young.maybe i'm thinking too much about this,i dont know what do you guys think?can it really last?


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## nursemom2009 (Jan 29, 2009)

Well, I was 19 and my husband was 22 when we got married. We got together when I was 16 and he was 19. I feel like we got married too young, but we've been married for almost 6 years now and I think we're going to make it for many years to come. It''s a lot of work, but you can make it if you're committed to making it work.


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## wonder (Jun 30, 2008)

i can relate. i think that's 1 of the big issues my husband is going through. we met when we were 19, got married when we were just old enough to drink at our own wedding. i haven't been w/ a lot of guys and i'm the only girl he's ever been w/. i think he feels like ii tied him down and he missed out on life. i don't have any advice for you, but i know it helps some people knowing others are going through the same thing


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## DiamondGirl (Feb 1, 2009)

i am on the same boat as you. We got married at 19 and we have 2 kids ages 3years and 3 months old. I personally dont feel like I missed out on the party life and stuff like that because I feel that I am blessed, I love my life and I love my kids. As for my husband I think its hitting him now. He went on a cruise for the weekend with his buddies and this is the first time that one of us has gone away without each other. I am planning to go on a mini vacation too, hopefully by doing so we will have a chance to miss each other, and maybe it will fill that "going out" type void. And if we dont miss each other when were apart then you have your answer right there. If it helps I know some couples that were and were forced into marriage by their parents (arranged marriage) at a young age and are doing just fine. if they can do it then hopefully we can too. it will be hard at times but you two have to both be willing to work it out. i hope you guys work out your problems. good luck


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

Is it difficult, yes of course it will be. You might wonder what else is out there. However, never take what you have for granted and always do the little things. The more you put into a mariage the more reward you will get from it. You also have to think that there are many bad things you missed to like the security of each other and not being rejected. Many relationships have that married to young issue these days. It just takes the willingness to add the work.

draconis


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## broken (Feb 2, 2009)

Most people who cheat or leave their spouses to have that youth aquired regret it. Your NOT missing out on anything. If your happy, have a loving spouse and are just happy then don't question it.


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## lil miss wifey (Sep 5, 2010)

hey well i got married at 17 18/06/08 y because of love  and we been 2gether faithful 2 each other ever since no babies tho lol , well for us marriage has been the normal thing arguing, tears, having regrets but to me all this is part of life we were getting to know each other likes dislikes etc i love my husband and i know my husband loves me we knew since b4 we got married what we was up for but we still wanted each other real bad  and yes i felt like im missing out on partying or liming with my friends or whatever but thats because we were 2gether 2 much....... we needed space work space play space (our own time) dont have to be party time or whatever just time apart to miss each other and it works, to me thats the key in my marriage to gave my husband time to relax, play video games fix his pc (intalling programs or what ever he does) he also like doing those "bike tricks" yes at first i wanted him apart from work to be with me all the time "talking" but i learn to gave and take and not just take from him so by doing this he wouldnt leave me lol and the more we would appreciate each other, so getting married young isnt any thing to regret or wanna change u found love keep it once it loves u back  im not sure if i gaved u any advice those were just my experiences on being a young wife but once u love her she loves u yall could more than make this work thats what i always tell my husband and the older we get the more we would know and understand about each other and the better we would become it will work


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## Crypsys (Apr 22, 2010)

I met my wife when she was 17 and I was 20. Neither of us never were partiers and we enjoyed spending time with each other more then we did partying. We married 2 years later and we are still married and very much in love and we are in our 30's. Marrying young isn't a problem if you both know what you want out of life. 

We have had some friends who had that "party" bug in their early 30's. Every person we know who left a relationship to relive that partying age came to regret it (as what broken said). And after the "fun" of partying wayned after a few months they became very lonely and depressed.


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## Nekko (Oct 13, 2009)

Met when i as 16 and he was 17 and together for 9 years now. My only regret is that marriage didn't come with a manual and i din't get to 'practice' having a serious relationship with someone else before i got into this. Would have helped in avoiding certain rough parts of these 9 years. 

Do i regret not 'party-ing'? First off all, some of the moments i've had with my spouse are really priceless and no amount of party-ing, however good, could offer me the same. Secondly, we got to party together quite enough for several years (did everything aside from hooking up with other people). Being married doesn't mean you can never enjoy yourself and have a fun time. 

I agree with Crypsys. I have tons of partying friends. Most of them are lonely, unhappy and already feel like they're going to grow old alone, despite being only in their mid-twenties.


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## Jones (Sep 15, 2010)

I met wife when i was 21 and she was 18. Dated for 6 years and married 13. It has its ups and downs but it will be that way no matter what the age. Hang in there. Just by coming on here for advise shows that you are in it for the long haul. Good luck.


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## DefyingGravity05 (Sep 16, 2010)

I'm having the same thoughts... I am 23 and my husband is 22 and I just feel like he's still a bachelor. I wonder if maybe he wasn't ready. He still acts as though he lives the single life. he doesn't cheat... but he goes to the bar and goes out with his friends and all that more than he hangs out with me... its frustrating!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

ds10 said:


> i am concerned that maybe we didnt really fully live our youths individually.going out,dating different people,all the stuff people usually do before they settle down and get married.i am worried that this might come back to haunt us in the future either on her side or mine.i just wanna get the opinion of other people that may be able to relate to this or other couples that married young.maybe i'm thinking too much about this,i dont know what do you guys think?can it really last?


I met my husband when I was 15 & him 18, I did break up with him for a short time a few years later to "play the feild" (what my Grandmother called it anyway), that only lasted about a month or 2, it helped me get some of that out of my system. I realized he was what I wanted. We married when I was 22 , today we are celebrating our 21st anniversary. So , yeah you can make it ! 

So long as you are committed, you both still desire to please each other, keep the communication going/ stay away from silent treatments, not let the kids & jobs takes a higher priority than yourselves (alot of married couples error here), never forgetting intimacy, stay playful & fun to be around. It can surely last a lifetime, no other outside influence will touch you if you are TRULY & deeply satisfied at home. 

It is not the age you married but what you "except" out of marraige, what you give and how you receive. If you are meeting each others needs lovingly, willingly & daily, it makes the ride so much smoother.


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## ThinkTooMuch (Aug 6, 2010)

I met my first wife when I was 19. We married when I was 21, she 23, had our first kid about 18 months later, the second four years after our marriage. We divorced after 16 years of meeting.

I used to think I married too young, still do, but boy oh boy am I ever glad I had my kids when I young and energetic. I have friends in their 60s putting kids through college, remember one being in his 40s when one's child #2 was born, it wasn't easy for him or his wife.

Can your marriage last ? I'll be honest and say possibly. Both of you will grow up, change, the kids will test your patience, this economy will scare you frequently, you'll worry about bills, education, drugs, sex (both kids and you&spouse). One of these days you'll wake up and wonder what you saw in her and vice versa. You may be lucky, still remember the wonderful young woman you've loved all your adult life, know that shared love, children, affection still walk hand in hand with her, despite arguments, despite disagreements.

Don't regret missed parties, missed lovers, missed connections, the illusion is far better than the reality you are living.

Good luck,

Mark


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