# ladies, is it wrong to want to hear about her past



## 1lovingmarriage (Aug 24, 2013)

The idea of hearing her describe her past sexual experiences really turns me on. Should I ask her about them? If so, how?


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

Seem a little cuckoldish to me.


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## 1lovingmarriage (Aug 24, 2013)

how should I pursue it? I'm so curious.


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## 1lovingmarriage (Aug 24, 2013)

is that a fantasy of many women?


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

I'll treat this as a real question, although I'm skeptical.

You can ask her to share, but she may (legitimately) say that it's none of your business. She may not think you can actually handle the details (over time, you'd have to show that you have the maturity to not be disturbed), if past lovers were better, more creative, turned her on more, were bigger, more handsome, richer, etc. Would you still want to hear the details if you don't measure up? Yes, she chose you now, but if you are insecure after hearing details, it could ruin your relationship. Beware what you ask for - you may get it.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Since you asked a similar question in the SiM section I'm guessing the wife sharing scenario really turns you on. 

1. Be very certain that you have boundaries in place. That means where is the line you draw for infidelity? Where is that line for her? Do they match? If not, how does that affect your marriage?

If she feels that HER having sex with another man is wrong, yet you are turned on by it, how does SHE reconcile the notion that a husband protects and cherishes his wife? If you're willing for her to cross that line, she has to be able to adjust that notion. But a LOT of women can't adjust to believing her husband wants her for himself alone, but sometimes wants to see her with another man. That makes them question the authenticity of his love for her. THIS is what needs to be discussed BEFORE you bring up this fantasy. Once you are very certain that she can reconcile that her husband absolutely loves and cherishes her, discussing this fantasy MIGHT be safe for your marriage.

2. Discussing and or bedroom dirty talk about past sexual experiences as a role play can add an interesting element, provided #1 is firmly in place. 

3. If number 1 isn't firmly in place, she will loose all respect for you, will doubt the authenticity of your love for her and begin to feel emotionally abandoned. This is the death knell for your marriage. Tread lightly and carefully.

I have a fantasy involving two men, always have had this fantasy. I know my husband has a fantasy of two women with him, a lot of men do. I sometimes tease him when I talk about a friend joining us and what she would do and what I would do. I do not expect that my husband would ever be able to reciprocate describing the reverse scenario and TBH, I'm not sure I could handle it if he did. Our marriage isn't strong enough for me to be assured of his love and devotion.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> Since you asked a similar question in the SiM section I'm guessing the wife sharing scenario really turns you on.
> 
> 1. Be very certain that you have boundaries in place. That means where is the line you draw for infidelity? Where is that line for her? Do they match? If not, how does that affect your marriage?
> 
> ...


My relationship is about as strong as they come in every way, and I KNOW I couldn't handle her describing such a scenario to me, let alone even hinting that she would want it to actually happen.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

samyeagar said:


> My relationship is about as strong as they come in every way, and I KNOW I couldn't handle her describing such a scenario to me, let alone even hinting that she would want it to actually happen.


I'm a little confused. Do you mean you couldn't handle her telling you, just role play teasing, about bringing in her friend and how they both would tend to your needs? Or you couldn't handle her telling you she has a fantasy about two men taking care of her needs.

Because if it's the second scenario, lemme tell ya you have nothing to worry about if she does have that fantasy. I have that fantasy but I would never, ever, ever!!! even entertain the thought of making it a reality. It's perfectly safe in my head, and probably your wife's as well. I should mention in my fantasy I'm also 25 with a rocking hot body and the self confidence to know what to do with it!:rofl:


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I don't know if it's wrong, but really, to each their own.
It's about her level of comfort telling you, too.

So go from there after telling her why you want to hear about it.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

1lovingmarriage said:


> how should I pursue it? I'm so curious.


By TALKING to her.

Crazy idea, right?


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