# He comes from a rich family, I don't



## ilovehim_xoxo

My boyfriend and I are just perfect for each other. We've been dating for 7 months but we were absolute best friends for 3 years prior (we were just dating other people at the time and didn't know we'd work out so well). Perfect, in terms of career goals, family goals, family respect, lifestyle (fitness and nutrition); we were even told that we were twins in the past few years!

But there is one thing that has bugged me a lot lately:
His family is very well off and my family is not. His mom doesn't work, they live in a $300,000 NEW house, his dad bought his mom a BMW and his dad bought his brother a Lexus. All is well, BUT his dad worked really hard to become CEO of his own company. His company is actually in Asia so as the kids got older, he eventually moved to Asia. His dad comes to visit every few months. They are not divorced. Their family get to go to Asia every so often and even went on a cruise! Every time his dad visits I get invited to go to high class restaurants--even the most expensive restaurant in the city! Lucky family!! So the Bf basically has less to worry about than me. He doesn't have to worry about his parent's financial situation either. They eat a fresh delicious, just cooked dinner EVERYNight (unless they go out for expensive sushi or steak once in a while.--I guess I'm lucky because I'm always invited)

My family: We are a family of 6. We live in a $50,000 house. We live in the poorest area and everyone but my youngest bro and mom have 2 jobs. My parents both work 70+ hours a week. We hardly have time to cook, clean or even go out for dinner. We hardly see each other, we hardly go on vacations, we're basically just getting by. I don't think my parents have any savings and my dad tapped into their RRSP in order to buy the stupid restaurant last year. (they now work twice as hard at our new restaurant for nothing). I'm the eldest and I'm paying my bills through loans. But I have nothing to worry about because I'm graduating in April and I have a pretty good degree! But nonetheless, we're still not well off at all. I worry about my parent's future and their health. They have no savings and their health is deteriorating because of the new restaurant they bought. We;re even making profits!!

The good thing is though, that my whole family lives togehter here whereas my bf's dad lives in Asia. He wishes he could see his dad often like I do.

Bf says he would trade all the financial stability in his life to have his family together living in the same house. I'm not as privileged as him but at least my dad is here with us .

Right now is a tough time in my family's life. We have to work so much harder to earn things. He doesn't have to do chores at home because his mom is home all the time and she does it. My bf is busy too: he works and goes to school, but still, I do too and I have chores at home because everyone is so busy with their lives. We cook and clean when we can too because it's not done everyday.

I also want you guys to know that my boyfriends feels like he doesn't deserve things he gets. HIs dad got him a new phone recently from Japan and he doesn't feel like he deserves it. He's a very humble and modest guy. He knows how to cook and clean..and he's very intelligent too (has a Commerce (honours) degree and going for a professional designation now). Basically he will be a great husband and I know I will be with him for a while. I even think he might be my soul mate. 

So because I feel like that, I need advice on this jealousy that I have with his life. I feel like life is not fair and I have to work so hard and he gets things so easy. Of course he feels bad and says he'll provide me with everything and take care of me in the future...but right now...it's the hardest time in my family's life and it's frustrating when his life is so easy. Also, i don't really make his life easier with my problems. He loves me so much and tries to do anything to make me happy. He's a great guy and I wish i could change my jealously and envy towards his life. It's not his fault that his family is rich and mine is not. We love each other and will have a future together and that is all that should matter....right?


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## Blanca

This article might be helpful for you: 

How to Handle Jealousy - wikiHow 

I think the jealousy you feel is very normal. You'll learn a lot about yourself if you can learn to work through it.


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## themarriedguy

:iagree: Jealousy is a combination of emotions not an emotion itself. If you can ask yourself what is the underlying emotions that make up you jealousy and why you have those emotions, then rationally deal with them it will go away.

I've not been in that situation before but for example jealousy in a relationship, "She is looking at other guys" has bothered me in the past. When I get to thinking about it it comes out to be 3 things, fear that she will leave me, anger that I am not enough, and self doubt in my abilities as a husband. 

When i take them apart i quickly realize how stupid it is.
1. She isn't going to leave me because we have a strong and good relationship, we love each other deeply and she has no desire for anyone else.

2. Why should i be angry if she is looking, honestly we are all humans and i admit I can't walk through the mall and not notice a hot chick, looking doesn't equal touching or even desire to persue, it's simply human and we all do it.

3. I shouldn't doubt myself, if i think about our life in a whole I am happy with who i am and i know she is too. Therefore why beat myself up about it. I provide for her, I love her and take care of her. I am a good husband.

Now i very rarely feel jealousy and if i do it usually takes about 30 seconds to put it in its place. You will learn alot about yourself as ljtseng said if you can separate the feelings and deal with them individually. I know the emotion and reasons are different than mine but the method is the same.

Good luck :smthumbup:


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## *Aceso*

It's just money, you know. I remember days when we were first starting off and had nothing. But we had each other and we were happy. Now we have money but I don't think that either one of us are happy. And you know what? I would give everything we have (and more) for those "good old days". 
As long as your boyfriend isn't putting you down because your family is not well off, it's all good. I think he loves you for you and not what you have.


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## draconis

Whynot be thankful for what you have.

Family, a house, college degree, food on the table, your health.

So what his family makes more, Bill Gates makes much more than the bf Father does. Is his father jealous?

Look at your own life and think about what you have, what you want, where you want to go. That will be full enough of a job for you.

draconis


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## stepmomandwife08

*Aceso* said:


> It's just money, you know. I remember days when we were first starting off and had nothing. But we had each other and we were happy. Now we have money but I don't think that either one of us are happy. And you know what? I would give everything we have (and more) for those "good old days".
> As long as your boyfriend isn't putting you down because your family is not well off, it's all good. I think he loves you for you and not what you have.


I so agree with this! my hubby and I are going through a time where we hardly have anything but we have each other and thats the only thing that counts!! be thankful for what you have and i so give your BF props for being modest and humble about his money and the things he gets or has..usually people that have alot of money they are very rude and have that Im better than you look on everything! 

I wouldnt be jealous..if your used to good things going on all the time you wouldnt be thankful for the good stuff when it comes along so thats why we have bad times in our lifes so dont let that turn into you being jealous! girl you have worked your @ss off now is the time that all that hard work is going to pay off!!! Good luck and keep us posted on whats going on!!


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## justean

i think your concerning yourself to much into his family affairs.
rather than focusing on how good you are for eachother.
your relationship on the financial issue (his family rich and your isnt) no different to a couple that might be totally opposite to eachother.
you find a way to maintain a balance.
you accept eachother for who you are .


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## Jenni

I think that you are blessed by having a bf who even though he comes from wealth, he is so humble. He could be totally obnoxious about it. You are not jealous about his family wealth, you just feel bad when you compare both families life styles. Your bf obviously sees beyong money and sees family values in your upbringing. Wealth does not make happiness, it just helps you go to sleep. You are going to have a good future, so help your parents when you do well. Your children don't have to struggle like your parents so it is in your hands to change the pattern. It sounds like you have a nice guy next to you so show others that you are a good for him because you are smart, loving and caring.


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## ilovehim_xoxo

thanks for all your help! I really appreciate it  it has helped me a lot.


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