# Need To Find A Way Out



## Confusedin2010 (Jan 10, 2010)

Me and my husband have been married for 4 years. Our relationship has gotten so bad that I am ready to leave. The only problem is that I have 2 kids and need to find somewhere to go. We have NO communication. 9/10 times when we try to talk it ALWAYS ends in an argument! I am busting my butt to pay the bills as he sits as home all day waiting for his unemployment check. Well his unemployment check is about to run out so I have to work even harder. He had 1 bill to pay which is the light bill and half the time I have to pay that. My family doesnt care for him to much because they see the hell I go through everyday! I just got diagnosed with RA and im not supposed to be stressed. Im stressed everyday here. I know I have my share of problems in the marriage. He lies all the time, he steals money from my 10 year old son, he steals from me! We dont ever spend quality time together alone, we havent had sex in 4 months, we dont even sleep in the same bed. I think i have been to focused on the bills and financial issuses I have neglected myself. I dont have ANY alone time for me......its work(half the time I go in for OT) and then home to the kids. My husband expects me to work all day, come home, clean, cook and be a great wife and mommy. Half the time I am exhausted because I have worked all day and my disease makes me tired!


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## VFW (Oct 24, 2012)

Tough to give you detailed suggestions with just summary information, but her goes. First do you own or rent a home. If you own, you can't force him out, so you may have to be prepared for an in-house separation, unless you are willing to leave. If you are renting look for a new place that does not include him. Secondly, you are going to have to get assistance with the kids while you work. The obvious people that you would go to would be your family. They already don't like him, so should be willing to help. However, you need to know you pull the trigger on the divorce, you can't be wishy-washy. They won't be too happy if you vacillate in your decision and less likely to help a second time, so be sure in your decision.

I recommend that you like at what you are going to need to sustain yourself and children without any help from him and develop a plan. You may be able to get some aid from him in the future, but would not count on it in the short run. You will need to consult an attorney to determine legal rights and what you can except in your state. Develop a plan and line up any assistance you will need, this must include a plan for visitation. 

Finally you are going to have to talk with husband. I recommend that you write out what you want to say and practice it in you head, so that you can be direct and to the point. He is going to be emotional, you need to be cool, calm, collect and in control.


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## [email protected] (Jan 3, 2013)

End that marriage now! If you rent, kick him out. He's obviously not contributing, if you own, just up and leave yourself and put the house on the market. You have all the money! but that relationship is in no way healthy and totally lopsided.

-Best of luck

Christina


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