# Update....willing to forgive....but



## Bpm2616 (Oct 17, 2012)

Thank you all for your input!! You all had you valid points. I met with a lawyer today after I grew some balls and am filing for divorce. I felt very good afterwards, almost like weights have been lifted off of my shoulders. I told my w, to which she broke down and probably couldn't believe it. I was calm, cool, and to the point. I spoke briefly and left the house for a little while for her to absorb it all. I'm still experiencing the roller coaster of emotions but know this is the right course of action. Just breaks my heart for my son. Yes I will pay out my ass for alimony but that will only be temp. But I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. It felt really good to give her a taste of her own medicine. We do plan to be amicable about it and right now want to remain friends afterwards for my sons sake since he has his own issues. I know there is still a rocky road ahead until it is done but I have to learn to put it in 4 wheel drive with the pedal to the metal....thank you again for all of your support.....BPM


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

Bpm2616 said:


> Thank you all for your input!! You all had you valid points. I met with a lawyer today after I grew some balls and am filing for divorce. I felt very good afterwards, almost like weights have been lifted off of my shoulders. I told my w, to which she broke down and probably couldn't believe it. I was calm, cool, and to the point. I spoke briefly and left the house for a little while for her to absorb it all. I'm still experiencing the roller coaster of emotions but know this is the right course of action. Just breaks my heart for my son. Yes I will pay out my ass for alimony but that will only be temp. But I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. It felt really good to give her a taste of her own medicine. We do plan to be amicable about it and right now want to remain friends afterwards for my sons sake since he has his own issues. I know there is still a rocky road ahead until it is done but I have to learn to put it in 4 wheel drive with the pedal to the metal....thank you again for all of your support.....BPM


I don't know if exposing to her family/friends is the correct thing to do in your circumstance, but consider it, and definitely don't cover for her affair and blame your divorce on "growing apart" or some other garbage. If people ask, let them know the truth.

Also, she may get some advice to be "not amicable," from those she seeks emotional support from, especially if she doesn't tell the truth about why you're divorcing, so make sure to protect yourself. Better to play hardball and be in a position to be generous with the final agreement than to find yourself at her mercy later because you thought she would play nice.

Sorry it turned out this way for you and especially for your son.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Watch the money other valuables take them offsite asap and watch her mood in the next few days carry a var on you and put one in the house so you can hear what she is planning.


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## jim123 (Sep 29, 2012)

Bpm2616 said:


> Thank you all for your input!! You all had you valid points. I met with a lawyer today after I grew some balls and am filing for divorce. I felt very good afterwards, almost like weights have been lifted off of my shoulders. I told my w, to which she broke down and probably couldn't believe it. I was calm, cool, and to the point. I spoke briefly and left the house for a little while for her to absorb it all. I'm still experiencing the roller coaster of emotions but know this is the right course of action. Just breaks my heart for my son. Yes I will pay out my ass for alimony but that will only be temp. But I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. It felt really good to give her a taste of her own medicine. We do plan to be amicable about it and right now want to remain friends afterwards for my sons sake since he has his own issues. I know there is still a rocky road ahead until it is done but I have to learn to put it in 4 wheel drive with the pedal to the metal....thank you again for all of your support.....BPM


You are now in the power seat. Maybe you R and maybe you D. It is the only way to get things moving quickly. Best of luck which ever way you go but at least it will end one way or another.


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

Bpm2616 said:


> Thank you all for your input!! You all had you valid points. I met with a lawyer today after I grew some balls and am filing for divorce. I felt very good afterwards, almost like weights have been lifted off of my shoulders. I told my w, to which she broke down and probably couldn't believe it. I was calm, cool, and to the point. I spoke briefly and left the house for a little while for her to absorb it all. I'm still experiencing the roller coaster of emotions but know this is the right course of action. Just breaks my heart for my son. Yes I will pay out my ass for alimony but that will only be temp. But I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. It felt really good to give her a taste of her own medicine. We do plan to be amicable about it and right now want to remain friends afterwards for my sons sake since he has his own issues. I know there is still a rocky road ahead until it is done but I have to learn to put it in 4 wheel drive with the pedal to the metal....thank you again for all of your support.....BPM


I also felt so much better after filing for divorce. 

My STBEH couldn't believe it either. He was so sure he could smooze his way out of it.


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

Bpm2616 said:


> I met with a lawyer today after I grew some balls and am filing for divorce. I felt very good afterwards, almost like weights have been lifted off of my shoulders.
> 
> I told my w, to which she broke down and probably couldn't believe it. I was calm, cool, and to the point. I spoke briefly and left the house for a little while for her to absorb it all.


bpm,

I read your other post... very typical from a serial cheater (1st hand knowledge). Don't be surprised if her (this is the truth) story suddenly starts to change. You know the script... "We only kissed", "We had sex only one time", "I swear he used protection". It never changes, just like the script says.

Do you see what's coming... If she wants out, doesn't care if you divorce, that's a wrap. She will admit to nothing else and close up like a clam. However, if she sees the reality of divorce and what she will be left with (dreams and fantasy) she only has one card left to play... that's the truth (or at least some of it) and a plea of mercy and remorse fullness. 

I have been exactly were you are. Her world is crumbling and she is out of options. Stand firm, no begging, make it perfectly clear that you will not be strung along on this ride of lies. State your demands, (Yes, at this point they should be demands), and back off. 

Good luck to you regardless of how it proceeds.


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