# They say, "love and marriage is not like what you see in movies."



## Curious_Guy

After seeing posts here, beg to differ!

"We've reported many first-hand accounts from successfully married couples who tell us how important the human touch is to a loving marriage. They hug each other often, they kiss, they touch each other while talking, they sit cheek to cheek on the couch while having a conversation, they curl around each other when they sleep or just gaze at the stars, and yes, they have sex from time to time — when it's right for them.

You see, people touch each other in many, many different ways, and no single form of touching wins the day. It's what we like to call "the accumulation of touching" that matters. Touch the one you love often and in whatever way your heart desires. It's that human connection that wins the day — and wins the marriage! The simple truth is, the best marriages engage in a lot of touching, and sex is only one form of touching.

Creating a successful marriage is not always the easiest thing to do. And truthfully, we've learned in over 30 years of marriage research that there are proven, effective ways to ensure a happy and healthy marriage."

Source: Why Touch Is So Important In A Loving Marriage

As long as both partners commit, happiness comes about and love remains.


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## Faithful Wife

mmm....touching.

I agree that real marriage isn't like the movies, if only for the fact that most movies can't really delve that deep into too many characters, so the many issues that arise in real marriage just can't really be captured in a 2 hour movie.


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## Curious_Guy

Of course a lifelong marriage can't be like a two hour long movie.
But what I mean is that even with the difficult times throughout the long years, there are plenty of times where the love is like what you see in movies. I know there are plenty of people on this section of TAM, as well as a few other sections, that share their experiences and marriages that make me believe they definitely have those "movie moments" time to time.

No matter how hard life may get, they have each other and try to make each other happy. I love when people post on my threads and share their positive experiences. Believe me, the people who post on some of my threads about their marriages seem like their poets or authors of erotic novels or something lol.

Quite touching indeed.


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## Pandakiss

Guess it depends on the movie, IDK.....

Maybe if you cherry pick certain scenes from movies.....or maybe certain characters.....

Like the suaveness of Ryan gossling (sp?) in crazy stupid love, or Chris Evans easy going-ness, and charm, in what's your number. 

My husband and I were just talking about this over the weekend, I said some use the excuse of their relationship lost that magic and the spark.....well, it's never magical on Tuesday last week, but last year there was a unicorn and rainbows moment. 

You kinda trick yourself that your spouse did that cute thing you saw in a movie, or show. You start to see the little things that you like....maybe. It's not going to be all day, every day, and may go unnoticed day to day, but when you look back in hind insight you see the moments. 

Everyday the future looks a little bit darker. But the past, even the grimy parts of it....well it just keeps getting brighter. 
----watchmen. 

Me personally, my husband does things like in movies, things I find appealing, all the time. Granted everyday can't be that magical day, granted every sexual encounter isn't like a rom com.....but it happens a lot. 

So are we like the movies? I would say yes. It is how you make it. One instance I brought up recently with him, when we had a house, this is the same Evil Fvckin House, we had to sand and varnish the floors, by hand. At the time it was the worst time....years later, it is now the best most magical time....whoo we did no work, took more breaks than work hours, had numerous "lunches", and had sex in the house. Good times. 

It was "movie like", sex happened at not our place (we hadn't moved in yet), the sun beamed in magically, my eyes pick up the sunlight, my hair was freshly colored and was changing color in the sun. 

He was sweating and I could see those muscles....he was wearing that shirt I liked, he was cracking jokes, and doing everything in his power to make it fun, we had music on and danced, and after a long day of not working we gave one another massages, then more sex. Ahhh memories. 

I cling to that thought process because the reality was, it was dusty from all the sanding, previously there was carpet down and we had to pull up a bunch of carpet tacks, staples, and nails. Some were broken and we kept nicking our fingertips on them, I broke out terribly from the dust and swear and from wearing that stupid face mask, my hair was crazy from sweating, and we gained 25 pounds from all the food breaks. Our knees and backs were sooo sore being on our hands and knees all day, ha ha. After being in dust all day, we still decided it was a good idea to smoke. We got so sick a week later too. 

I will gladly take the delusions that it was magical.


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## SimplyAmorous

I've always Loved watching Romantic movies..... Even as a young girl, I enjoyed the romance in cartoons for goodness sakes....If a movie is devoid of a male/ female attraction going on, I'd probably feel it sucked or was B O R I N G .... even the heaviest of dramas (which I also LOVE) gotta have a little of that going on....

Romances are meant to make us feel good, to inspire us.. to have a love "set apart".. isn't this what most of us ultimately crave.... I know I did.... As corrupt as Hollywood IS... I must admit they make some killer movies that bring me to tears & set me on the highest mountain... 

My husband couldn't live up to some of the more Alpha characters in many of the great Romances on film....he's not a Prince, or Rich or a reformed Bad Boy who drops to his knees for 1 special woman forever more...... but can I say...he comes darn close... on a more toned down introverted Beta scale... he treats me like a greatest treasure he's ever found. Some women may get bored with that.. ..even I took it a bit for granted ...it happens...but I wasn't looking for new excitement.... I was always happy with HIM... he was "my man". 

Most of the Romances I can think of ...is all about the dating/ "courting stage" anyway.. few seem to take you into the marriage....one of my favorites is "*The Notebook*" cause he wasn't rich but had a dream, worked hard , couldn't give up on his true love...

Noah & Alley...they fought sometimes, they argued hard ..but had Great chemistry....







....we can relate to that - I could so easily see my husband as Noah in our old age.....he kept the spirit of their love ALIVE in his ... never gave up....I do so believe such love stories exist...










Here is a couple >> Not the movies... but real people who lived a lifetime together..and died together... http://talkaboutmarriage.com/long-term-success-marriage/85537-true-inspiration.html

I DO feel this sort of Love from my husband....I am not longing for anything MORE when I see a  touching Romance on the screen..he is generally sitting right there beside me watching it...I might start balling...he's holding me...telling me to "get a grip".....I am not sure most men would care to DO this... ... but I sure love the fact my husband IS this way.....

Taken from the article..."*Why TOUCH is so Important*"... 



> We've reported many first-hand accounts from successfully married couples who tell us how important the human touch is to a loving marriage. They hug each other often, they kiss, they touch each other while talking, they sit cheek to cheek on the couch while having a conversation, they curl around each other when they sleep or just gaze at the stars, and yes, they have sex from time to time — when it's right for them.
> 
> You see, people touch each other in many, many different ways, and no single form of touching wins the day. It's what we like to call "the accumulation of touching" that matters. Touch the one you love often and in whatever way your heart desires. It's that human connection that wins the day — and wins the marriage! The simple truth is, the best marriages engage in a lot of touching, and sex is only one form of touching.


I felt the article downplayed Sex to some degree..... not sure I feel the same .. ..it depends.....I know for my own marriage.. we NEED it... We love it... and it has to be consistent..(the article would agree).... but in our early years, he needed it MORE...his cravings were higher over mine....and in Mid life...there was a shift, it became paramount *to ME*...

I was going through some things, and I just NEEDED him to want me/ desire me... I wanted to go back in time... feel young again/ vibrant, as I felt we missed it in some ways.. he happily engaged me in this - even when I was wearing him out (God Bless him!)....which I am so very very Thankful for... had he pushed me away, told me I wasn't a 25 yr old anymore or belittled me ...it really could have taken us to a bad place...

But because of HOW he Loves...deeply, caring, understanding....he came along with me .. we ventured together.. as we always have... 

*** **Speaking of TOUCHING*...oh how important it is , this I so resonate with ...lights me up... this IS our Romance... If he is near, my hands gravitate to him... he reaches for my hand.. his fingers through my hair....we cuddle , we spoon, we kiss.....we are both high on physical touch.. I am spoiled in this way... I have spoiled him!

But not everyone feels this way.. I have a GF... she needs her space, she doesn't like all that touching...she gets upset if her man doesn't take the garbage out... I find this so awful silly.... like what is the big deal - just take it out & avoid the conflict.... but then someone like me would get upset if my husband wanted too much space & didn't want to cuddle... I'd be ticked.....I love when he walks past & grabs my a$$, and things like that... I told him that's his duty as my husband one day, the more the better !


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## SimplyAmorous

Pandakiss said:


> Guess it depends on the movie, IDK.....
> 
> *Maybe if you cherry pick certain scenes from movies.....or maybe certain characters.*....
> 
> *Like the suaveness of Ryan gossling (sp?) in crazy stupid love, or Chris Evans easy going-ness, and charm, in what's your number.*


 so very true !  



> *It's not going to be all day, every day, and may go unnoticed day to day, but when you look back in hind insight you see the moments.*
> 
> Me personally, my husband does things like in movies, things I find appealing, all the time. *Granted everyday can't be that magical day, granted every sexual encounter isn't like a rom com.....but it happens a lot.*
> 
> So are we like the movies? I would say yes. It is how you make it. One instance I brought up recently with him, when we had a house, this is the same Evil Fvckin House, we had to sand and varnish the floors, by hand. *At the time it was the worst time....years later, it is now the best most magical time....whoo we did no work, took more breaks than work hours, had numerous "lunches", and had sex in the house. Good times. *
> 
> It was "movie like", sex happened at not our place (we hadn't moved in yet), the sun beamed in magically, my eyes pick up the sunlight, my hair was freshly colored and was changing color in the sun.
> 
> *He was sweating and I could see those muscles....he was wearing that shirt I liked, he was cracking jokes, and doing everything in his power to make it fun, we had music on and danced, and after a long day of not working we gave one another massages, then more sex. Ahhh memories. *
> 
> *I cling to that thought process because the reality was, it was dusty from all the sanding, previously there was carpet down and we had to pull up a bunch of carpet tacks, staples, and nails. Some were broken and we kept nicking our fingertips on them, I broke out terribly from the dust and swear and from wearing that stupid face mask, my hair was crazy from sweating, and we gained 25 pounds from all the food breaks. Our knees and backs were sooo sore being on our hands and knees all day, ha ha. After being in dust all day, we still decided it was a good idea to smoke. We got so sick a week later too.*
> 
> *I will gladly take the delusions that it was magical.*


You know what I LOVE about your post here PandaKiss .... you can look back & LAUGH your butt off with all that nasty stuff going on - that evil house, the hard work getting on your knees varnishing by hand... fingers pricked, taking so many food breaks -you gained weight ...your face breaking out from the dust, wearing an annoying face mask, sweating...hair all matted....dust a flying ....

Yet... HE turned his uncomfortableness to Joking about it ...to lighten the mood... he used the music to pull you in to dance.....you saw his sweaty muscles and got turned on..didn't matter how much dust was in the air.....and had some HOT steamy sex in the sunlight... and it was GLORIOUS... what you remember is >> ...cause why...you did it all together ... Shared memories...some moments ..they will forever stand out...you'll carry them ... 

The very BEST of Love stories know how to capture the type of moments you are describing .... real life moments.... we CAN identify with them.. it may only be parts of a character, a scene of a movie, some craziness ...born out of some desperation... or struggle....but in these ...we can all relate... 

True... the whole story line...it's NOT going to happen... also if the couple never has any trials, down time, fights, hardships...a little drama...it'd be BORING for one..... we LOVE deeply in spite of our imperfections...and in some of our most difficult times....we find moments to treasure....and inspiration for a better day. 

Our last family vacation ...Seemed everything went wrong.. they forgot to clean our cabin, no toilet paper, we left our firewood out to get rained on, rained for 2 full days...didn't catch 1 fish...got lost, our ice cream melted...there was more but it escapes me now.. at 1st....it's like ....can ANYTHING else go wrong...then you just begin to make glorious fun of your luck...and start laughing out loud about it.. no internet, so that night we stayed up late...we laughed, reminisced with our teens.... this was our Golden moment ...a simple highlight...but it was connection.... we still had each other...Life is good... we can laugh at the mishaps ....it's a grace.... then you go hump each other with the rain pounding on the roof..a little lightning...and it all seems beautiful anyway...


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## Faithful Wife

Curious guy said: "But what I mean is that even with the difficult times throughout the long years, there are plenty of times where the love is like what you see in movies."


Yes, I do agree...I probably didn't make that clear. The GOOD stuff, the magical stuff, for me it is just like the movies. Even better, really!


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## Anon Pink

Threetimesalady said:


> IDarn, they should have produced it...Would probably be R version..


I'd prefer the X rated version. Not so good with subtlety.


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## LadyDee

I believe that all our lives and the things that we go through have been written from the time we are born and all the experiences and adventures we have experienced over 48 years together can definitely be part of a movie, good and bad, even the slow boring times!

Our story would be a truly real one, with experiences that I never ever thought we would have had to go through with family/children, but we did, survived and are that much stronger because of it all, an interesting script it is and it is the LOVE that holds it all together.

As we are all living out our scripts, it's just a good thing we don't know what comes next :rofl: or we may not want to go on.


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