# hi, pls. drop some lines..



## Laydee (Sep 18, 2010)

It's my 23rd birthday today, I can say that this is the birthday that I'll never forget, why? couple of penny on my wallet, debts that's unpaid, work that doesn't pay enough and a big hole in my heart.. People said being happy is a choice, probably for some but how can I be happy in this situation I am in? My heart is so heavy, and it feels like someone is squeezing it so hard all the time. My life wont be this hard if this one person doesn't make it more harder than I could imagine. I love him.. I put my trust on him but at the end, I am here, broken and hopeless. My life evolved to him and I can still say it is still evolving to him. I can remember when he left me for another country to work, he promised me everything, he said he's doing this for us and it can only get better from here I trusted him but only a month later, he changed a lot.. probably he's enjoying the things happening to him right now and thinking of me just reminding himself that he failed.. I am staying online everyday waiting for him to talk to me but at the end of the day I'll sleep wondering why he didn't talk to me when he knows I am waiting for him, I am the one who always trying to call eventhough I am really tight on money but most of the time he doesn't answer my calls. I dont know how he has been, he doesn't know what's been going to me lately, I know it's because he careless, everytime we'll talk which is couple of times a week he'll say he missed me which I doubt, if he miss me he would have talk to me when he knows how to reach me and I am just there, when all he's doing is to sit in their house and do nothing, yes he got no job yet and whenevr I'll ask him about it he always say lots of bad news that sometimes it's hard to believe.. He used to be a very loving, sweet and responsible man but right now he really turned into someone I dont know, he's a stranger to me. I long for him, but he doesn't long for me, I've been wanting him but he doesn't want me. They said in a relationship it's not what you receive rather it's what you can give.. How can I always give when even a single respect and love for myself i've been losing it just to make him realize I am still here.. I am not important to him and it hurts so bad. This is my letter on my 23rd birthday, sitting in this room that doesn't have even a fan, a bed that is broken and a computer that keeps on turning off on it's own whenevr it gets hot enough. The only thing put smiles on my face whenever I remember my mom hugged me earlier today and said happy birthday my daughter.. she seldom hugs me since I was born.. I've been looking for love and if this relationship will fail, I hope I can still find love somewhere.. out there.. If you are asking who is this man I am talking with, its him, my husband, the person I made vows with he didn't even make time to talk to me today or even sent a birthday card..

I can totally feel that my husband doesn't love me anymore..


----------



## Applepies (Nov 14, 2010)

Happy Birthday Sweetie. You are in a lot of pain and it is very hard. It is going to get better, we humans are amazingly resilient. You feel no hope right now, but it's always darkest just before the dawn. Hold on. God didn't put you here to be miserable, He put you here for a reason and it will eventually unfold for you. This experience is going to teach you compassion, patience, and the ability to be a comfort to others when they are going through hard times.

Life is going to have painful times. You are in the valley but there is a mountain in your future, many of them. Don't give up hope. Hugs to you. Keep focusing on the hug your wonderful Momma gave to you. That is so sweet.


----------



## Zhopa (Jan 18, 2012)

Happy Birthday kid, you sound like a wonderful women and there are lots of guys out there that would love to meet someone like you. You've earned better, hope you stop waiting for him and go do your own thing.

Tough time though, it sucks. It will get better though. I read a good detective novel when I feel lonely like this... perhaps you have something that works to get your mind off it?


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Happy Birthday. Sounds like a very hard day for you.

I suggest that you start to take care of yourself, that you protect your heart. Take a look at the 180 in my signature block below. That is how you need to handle him right now. It will protect you. And if he really does miss you, it will make him have to make the next step and contact you. If you keep calling him, it's doing all the work for him. 

Hang in there and take care of YOU (((hugs)))


----------

