# Wife leers at men



## GoingNuts (Apr 8, 2012)

Hello,
A couple months ago I noticed that my wife leers at men. She has always checked out guys a little here and there, but she seemingly has gone off the deep end. It got so bad that she was doing double takes and staring at every man we would pass on the street. She would start at men in other cars. If I said anything, she would deny it. She seemed mesmerized by every man she saw, with me at her side.. Finally I told her that I felt disrespected by this, at first she denied it, then she admitted she does it and she stopped. She recently started doing it again, and denying it. Now though, she has graduated to crotch gazing. She is mesmerized by mens crotches and she lies about it even if I confront her WHILE SHE IS DOING IT! She crotch gazes almost every guy she sees. She wavers between denial and saying she 'does it without realizing it.' 

I am 51 and she is 53 and we have been together almost 27 years. What the heck is going on? Midlife crisis? She is driving me nuts with her lying about it. She has claimed she does it 'without realizing it' but if she notices me watching her, she stops doing it. She is acting like a boy crazy teenager. What is her problem? Anybody?

The staring started while I was undergoing Interferon treatment for Hepatitis C, which I have since successfully finished. WHile on the treatment, I was anemic and useless for six months. The treatment is somewhat like chemo and I was a wreck during the whole treatment.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Don't tell me-if you so much as glance in another woman's direction, you are up s**t creek.

Is you're W dressing differently? Is she still reasonably attractive? There's a chance that she thinks you're broken, and she's "shopping" for a new model.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

How's your sex life been since the treatments ended? Are you back to where you were before?


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

I am about the same age and have been married for 35 years. 

Relax.....looking just means sex is on her mind to some degree. This is not a bad thing as long as looking is all she is doing. If mine was doing this I would just smile and really use that in our sex life. 

I would actually be happy about it but now I am not the least bit jealous and feel totally secure in my marriage.


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

Leering at others, and especially when your spouse is with you, is insulting.

I don't care how deprived for sex I get, I'm not going to demean my wife by leer at other women ever, but especially not with her next to me.

I'd give my wife a warning that I find that unacceptable and if she kept doing it, I let her know she was doing it again and just walk away (give her time to think about how she's hurting me).


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## GoingNuts (Apr 8, 2012)

F-102 said:


> Don't tell me-if you so much as glance in another woman's direction, you are up s**t creek.
> 
> Is you're W dressing differently? Is she still reasonably attractive? There's a chance that she thinks you're broken, and she's "shopping" for a new model.


She has no problem if I glance at another woman, but I don't really stare at them when she is with me. She is not dressing any differently than before and she is very attractive for her age.

When I was undergoing treatment our sex life dwindled a little and she had a hard time with the psychological side effects of my treatment....moodiness, slight depression and anxiety. I noticed she was turned off by it. This is when her attention started wandering and by the time the treatment ended she was completely mesmerized by every guy she saw between age 18 to 70. There was no flirting involved, she just seemed infatuated with every male she saw. I confronted her on it and told her that it made me feel very disrespected and uneasy. She tried to deny it so I started pointing it out as she was doing it. At that point she stopped doing it. That lasted about a month, then I noticed a few weeks ago that she had started leering at men again. This time she seemed completely enamored by guys crotches. She claimed that she 'didn't realize' she was staring at guys crotches, but she was constantly doing it. 

We went skiing last week and on the hotel elevator two guys got on. Her eyes became locked onto one of the guys crotches and both of them noticed it. She stared strait at his crotch the whole elevator ride oblivious to everything else, it was embarrassing because as we got off they were laughing about it. She was doing stuff like this constantly, yet denying it, the whole trip. 

Last night I had enough of the disrespect and the lies and told her how it made me feel, especially while still suffering the after effects of such a grueling treatment regimen. I told her that I have always trusted her, but the leering and crotch gazing were giving me second thoughts about her. She got upset at that and tried to say she did it subconsciously. I asked her, 'If it is all subconscious and you don't realize you are doing it then why does it stop when I say something?" At that point she admitted that she does it, but said she doesn't know why. She then said that she would do something to prove her commitment to me.

This morning she asked me what I would do if I was in her shoes, how would I fix it. I told her that besides STOPPING LEERING I would do something 'substantial' like buy her a nicer diamond for her ring, or ask her to reaffirm our marriage vows. All she did was blush after that. She asked me if I would give her a day to come up with something, of course I said yes. We will see what happens with that.

I think she is just starting to go into menopause. I am wondering if that has anything to do with it. Her hormones are definitely going bonkers. Since I stopped treatment and gained some strength back working out at the gym, she has become somewhat of a sex maniac with me. She gets sexually excited easily now and pounces on me like she did when we first got together. Our sex life has been intense since I finished treatment. She is clingy with me when we go out in public. 

What would make a woman that age go so hormonal? What the heck is the crotch gazing thing about? Lordy this whole thing is driving me nuts.


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## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)

She's probably reaching her sexual peak. It's like us guys when we were teenagers. Horny 24/7 and gawking at every girl that passes by us.

Make sure you fulfil her "needs" during this time, sadly it only comes once in a lifetime.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

If she's reaching menopause...then ya, she could just be feeling VERY sexual. Maybe it started because she was at an HD place while you were incapacitated. I agree that it is rude, especially if your partner points it out about being offended. I mean we DO have self-control don't we? Even if we are ridiculously horny? 

Keep calling her on it, keep talking.... not only about that, but about everything. Talk about sex. Give her lots and lots of sex! At least once a day. (I'm trying to think of a polite way to say this...) It's hard to wear me out (similar age) but not so hard to keep me more than satisfied! Know what I mean?


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