# 5 Keys To A Hot Marriage



## robin

I love this forum there is so much that we can learn from one another. I have been married for eight years and I feel our marriage is as hot today as it was when we dated. However I don't want to fool you we have had our challenges some big ones along the way but what helped us each time is when we used the following 5 keys to turn on the hotness in our marriage.

1. We compete to make each other happy. This means we do everything we can to fulfill the other person's needs even if it means scarificing our own. I find when we ignore the wants and needs of each other is when we get into fights. 

2. Verbally and physically be affectionate with each other. Everyday we say or do something that shows the other person how much we love them. This helps keep happy spirits in our home and marriage.

3. We read books and attend workshops were we learn new ways to keep that hotness going. We learned incorporating new ideas keeps the marriage alive and happy.

4. Taking a break from one another when we are not happy with what the other person has done or said. We learned from trial and error that talking to each other while angry feelings are rising is not the best time to talk. 

5. Doing something fun with each other. There was a time we found ourselves drifting apart. We put other things first. We noticed by putting other things first we were taking each other for granted. Now we spend once a week doing something fun. 

I would love to hear how everyone else keeps the hotness in their marriage.

Robin


----------



## MarkTwain

Good stuff! All 5 points are golden.


----------



## robin

Thanks! They are keys that need to be used always otherwise be ready for a cold draft. I think if a couple is motivated and determined they can have a successfully hot marriage.

Robin


----------



## justean

with my hubby and i , dont know what is is, cant live with or without eachother. but the hotness has improved and improved thoroughout our marriage. within most areas.
this came with the help of talking to others , listening to them and their ideas. this helped in all areas of our marriage.


----------



## MarkTwain

Two things helped us.

1) A guy on another forum showed me how to be more flirty and playful

2)I started practising semen retention, and that turbo boosted our sex life, in both quality and quantity.


----------



## robin

Justean that is great! Sounds like you two both work on your relationship. It really does take effort from both people. If just one person does the work and the other is lazy or doesn't want the hotness will not exist. 

Mark I love your honesty. Too funny. LOL! It does take a woman alot longer to get through the sexual arousal stage than men. Your honey must be a happy camper.

Robin


----------



## MarkTwain

robin said:


> Mark I love your honesty. Too funny. LOL! It does take a woman alot longer to get through the sexual arousal stage than men. Your honey must be a happy camper.


I am not sure if I explained myself properly... Semen Retention is a technique where the male deliberately does not ejaculate every time he has sex. In my case I aim for once a month, but that's probably a bit too long. Once per week suits a lot of people. We have sex most days, whereas before I started this practise, 3 times a week was the norm.


----------



## outgoingandfree

Thank you. :smthumbup:


----------



## swedish

Great points!


----------



## Honey

Very good !


----------



## robin

Gotcha Mark. 

Everyone else thanks! These tips really have made a difference in my life and I hope it will for you too. 

Robin


----------



## jennyc

Great points...thanks for sharing!


----------



## robin

Thanks Jenny! I think if every couple incorporates those points in their marriage they will have a long lasting successful one. 

Robin


----------



## kiran23

Hi Robin,
Thanks for Great information for Making Happy Marriage life...


----------



## robin

Hi Kiran,

Your welcome!


----------



## snix11

MarkTwain said:


> I am not sure if I explained myself properly... Semen Retention is a technique where the male deliberately does not ejaculate every time he has sex. In my case I aim for once a month, but that's probably a bit too long. Once per week suits a lot of people. We have sex most days, whereas before I started this practise, 3 times a week was the norm.


omg. sex MOST DAYS?? that lucky girl


----------



## MarkTwain

snix11 said:


> omg. sex MOST DAYS?? that lucky girl


Actually, it's gotten out of hand now. I put her in charge of how often I cum, and she decided once a month was too much, so I went for 6 weeks before I finally blew yesterday! Phew. I am not recommending this, but I was getting so horny it was crazy. I must say I really enjoy it. Because of the build up of "steam" the whole of sex is nearly as good as an orgasm, so I don't miss ejaculation.


----------



## robin

Life's Little How To Book, which is my favorite read right now has a chapter on a married couple's path to sexual intimacy and I think Mark's tip should be included in the long list of tips. :smthumbup:


----------



## dcrim

Well, not exactly off topic, but maybe a little aside. 

I don't practice semen retention (I never heard of that before this thread), but I do take a while to ejaculate. 

Remember, too, that ejaculation is also good for the prostate. Holding back seems (to me) to serve little purpose. The genetic drive is to ejaculate as often as possible.  

Sometimes we do a prostate massage. That's a wonderful feeling, too. Kind of like a slow orgasm. 

It took my GF a while to get over this - she felt that she wasn't satisfying me! I certainly made sure she orgasmed (several multiples every time). 

But when I did ejaculate, she was extremely satisfied (that she made me). It is not a matter of control, just that I now take longer than I did when younger.  

It's NOT a "problem" (for her!!  ). She's used to orgasming many times now. Sometimes describing it as a continuous wave of orgasms. She's had as many as 4 or 5 multiples at one time, although it's more often 2-3 at a time. But when they come (pun intended) one after another, it's definately fun!  

I do find that sometimes a tighter vaginal canal more often gets me off. A couple of positions that do that are: 1) missionary, then bring her legs together between mine 2) doggy, then lay her down on her stomach with her legs inside of mine (great G spot action!). 

But, then again,this past sunday, she came over to pick me up to go to the store and, after her working all week and "not getting any" we had a quickie and I orgasmed after only a few minutes (and she orgasmed 3 times). She said that was just what she needed! Me, too!


----------



## MarkTwain

robin said:


> Life's Little How To Book, which is my favorite read right now has a chapter on a married couple's path to sexual intimacy and I think Mark's tip should be included in the long list of tips. :smthumbup:


Oh? Have you been experimenting?


----------



## MarkTwain

dcrim-

Yeah, I want to get around to that prostate stuff some day, but we are at it so much, it will have to be booked in to our 2011 diary!


----------



## MarriageBuilder

Wow...We are moving to sexual methods now.

I love the 5 great tips. It's essential i must say!

Thanks Robin.


----------



## snix11

MarkTwain said:


> ... but I was getting so horny it was crazy. I must say I really enjoy it. Because of the build up of "steam" the whole of sex is nearly as good as an orgasm, so I don't miss ejaculation.


Please send your clone to me 
c/o Frustrated wife, 
PO Box 11587 MyTown, USA 87441

:smthumbup:


----------



## CECE

Great Tips. I have to share this wit my husband


----------



## maxxLogan

i would like to read daily tips or short book chapters about having a happier, more successful marriage but my wife always gives a little grunt and sits there staring into space while I read. Seems kind of pointless when you have a spouse that doesn't seem to care about your feelings when they feel content with the status of the relationship.


----------



## LukaB

Exellent, all 5points are professional!! Thanks for sharing with us.


----------



## marina72

Excellent Robin! Even though what you've listed out seems to be something we should already have thought of, it's amazing how hard it is to realize till someone else points it out, that this is how to make it really work! I love the way you've listed those 5 points out, and I'm going to start today doing my very best to try and adhere to them. The drifting apart because we are too busy is really the one getting in the way of me and my hubby. Although our marriage is not bad, it can always use improvement, plus , we've only been married for 2.5 years now, (it's my second) ,, so hearing your tips gives me a lot of hope that we will be married forever! Thanks much!


----------



## humpty dumpty

great points thanks for sharring  
mine would have to be .... Do some thing every day to make him smile !!!  and we are smilling loads


----------



## Sensitive

Thanks for shraing. It sounds like you have a great partner.


----------



## Forgotten Romance

Hello everyone, I just found this forum...I think this is something that married couples can really use -- there is so much information out there on dating and weddings, etc.

But the only type of information you find about marriage is when there is a problem -- I prefer to take the proactive approach.

Thanks for providing this forum for all us "old married people"


----------



## Jooky

MarkTwain said:


> I am not sure if I explained myself properly... Semen Retention is a technique where the male deliberately does not ejaculate every time he has sex. In my case I aim for once a month, but that's probably a bit too long. Once per week suits a lot of people. We have sex most days, whereas before I started this practise, 3 times a week was the norm.


That works, eh? I've thought about playing around more with that.

However, for the poster who thought Mark's lady was lucky, I also practice that. My lady comes first, almost always (figuratively and literally). Sometimes, she acts as if this is a burden, though.

I tell her, beat me to it, but she never tries. Too bad, I thought it would be a fun competition to see who could "relieve" the other one first. But, like most bottoms or submissive-leaning women, she mostly likes to come a lot and not play the power games. 

Sorry if that is too graphic.

I'm going to try your Tantric stuff, Mark. Thanks for the reminder.


----------



## Jooky

By the way, Robin -- awesome post. I'm definitely sharing it with my wife, if she comes back to me.


----------



## Fritz

This is great


----------



## rjd1965

:smthumbup:
This is a great thread!
All good points brought up. Another good read in this area is "Frequent Foreplay Miles", for keeping things spicy.
My wife and I like to constantly improve our marriage. Trying new things and learning from friends has always been a positive for us. I dare say our sex life is better now than it was 15 yrs ago.


----------



## sooner2000

I have to agree, these are some very good points to practice.


----------



## mujer_rota

I'm going to print this! thanks!


----------



## BellaOnlineMarriageEditor

Your advice is so great! If more people practiced it, the divorce rate would be almost negligible.


----------



## Advocado

Some great advice here - made me realise how little we actually do for each other. Rather than just co-exist around one another I'm gonna try to apply some of what I've read here on a daily basis.


----------



## chrisbx7

1. Be honest with each other
2. Let each other know they are loved
3. Never let the sex life die 
4. Share household chores
5. Be honest with each other


----------



## madimoff

chrisbx7 said:


> 1. Be honest with each other
> 2. Let each other know they are loved
> 3. Never let the sex life die
> 4. Share household chores
> 5. Be honest with each other



1. I can't go on much longer not living together fulltime
2. I love you, you know that, it's not about competition but I think I told you more recently than you did me
3. If I could get over the hurt about things that are said and done we'd be having the sex life we did a few years ago
4. Please don't make it seem like you're brilliant for being 'a new man' yet criticise my housekeeping
5. How many families could survive one partner not welcoming the other partner in their 'own' (other) home?


(sorry..... good positive thread really, till I came along!)


----------



## ONE

My wife and I do these 5 things to keep the hotness alive in our marriage.

1. Date nights. It's just good to get out without kids and distractions.
2. Initiate sex. Each of us initiates sex once a week.
3. Say I Love You and mean it!
4. Spice up our love life outside of the bedroom.
5. Look good for each other by dressing up when we are together.


----------



## SimplyAmorous

1. Knowing you are cherished above all & receptively expressing this back in "I love you"s, touching, carressing, playfulness outside of the bedroom

2. Communicatively sharing everything with each other, always asking "How was your day?" after work, after we come together again from being separated. 

3. Keeping the Fires burning in the bedroom, always saving our passion for each other, both partners initiating. 

4. Remembering it used to just be the 2 of us - before kids, making time to get out alone, take a walk, bike ride, picnic, reflection on where we have come, where we're going. 

5. If anything is bothering us, lay the issues on the table honestly & openly, talk it out no matter what, be careful to Listen & try to Never let the sun go down on your anger.


----------



## CristinaEvelinRoberts

Thanx for the valuable points


----------

