# Read her diary



## baissier (Jun 21, 2009)

I know this is so wrong but I needed to find out what was going on. 

So it turned out it was a mix between lost, affair and semi-cult. Seems like she is finding happiness and feeling connected with him. 

I think I found my answer and closure after 5 months. Will find a time to talk to her and see when she wants a divorce. She can have the house. I still love her and want her to happy...the only thing I think I can give her is financial stability so she doesn't have to worry. Need to figure out what to do with our babies...the dog and the cats though. She doesn't seem to have time to look after them.

Will run the half marathon tomorrow....isn't the timing right..seems like everything is fitting in nicer. new start for me. Will start packing my stuffs from the house and now can emotionally move out.

Surprisingly I am not really feeling sad. 5 months ago, I went crazy but this time after I found out the truth. I feel really calm....don't really feel anything. Not sure if it will change in a few hours from now. 

Didn't know she was so unhappy. The calmness of life isn't what she is looking for. 

I am surprised though why she didn't just tell me the truth when I asked her a few months ago whether there was someone else and all she told me was she didn't think it was the end and wants me to give her space to find herself spiritually. Should have told me the truth.

I know it is really bad to read someone's diary but I couldn't be kept in the limbo. 

hope you finds the happiness that she is looking for. my love.


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## baissier (Jun 21, 2009)

I do really hope her new religion and her new man will give her happiness and let her find herself. This is nothing I can give to her. 

I do love life to be stable and calm. Yes it may be boring but emotionally I was fulfilled. 

Am I rare....do people just feel bored with life and need excitements all the time? I guess the only way to achieve that is to keep dating all the time - relationship wise.


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## baissier (Jun 21, 2009)

and you guys are so right :smthumbup: ... the signs were all pointing to affair but I was just denying it. 

Real shock to me though...didn't think she could have an affair. Trust was always something I admired about her. Guess you never really know a person. 

I now understand why she said I don't understand her, and what she is looking for isn't what I am looking for.


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## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

Why do you feel the need to continue to give her things? Isn't she making a clear choice? Shouldn't she earn what she gets? Or are you just such a nice guy that you can't see that not standing up for yourself now will surely come back to haunt you later?


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## baissier (Jun 21, 2009)

yes you are right. i will just let her stay at the house for now. just split everything 50/50 when we get divorced.


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## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

You sound like a candidate for the No More Mister Nice Guy book that is very popular on this forum right now. Check it out.


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