# What happened to oral?



## bell (Jul 10, 2011)

Question for those who have been married 10+ years...What happens to oral? I just don't feel like going down on my husband like I use to. Is this something that happens usually over time? So yeah we have kiddos and making time and all that could be a factor, but really besides all the typical reasons like too busy, time, pre-occupied...Does the desire to go down just start to go away over time? Has anyone dealt with this and bounced back somehow?


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

When you give him oral does he reciprocate? I know a couple women who don't give their husbands oral very often because, if they do, they have to wait for him to want sex again before they get theirs.

I've been with DH 17 years. I seem to go through phases of being damn near obsessed with giving oral and being only mildly interested in giving oral. Maybe it's a phase?


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

Does your h groom and make sure he's clean and inviting? My w thought it was funny when I started to after a couple of decades together, but I think it's important to be appealing.



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Does he still do everything he can to please you in bed, or do things feel one-sided?

I'm still happy to give my wife oral. She has never been willing to do it for me.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

At 17 years, and oral is very much a part of our routine. Sure, sometimes it's a higher priority, and sometimes lower, but it never disappears for either of us. Usually it's part of foreplay or afterplay, or maybe round two, but sometimes is a standalone event for one or both of us.


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## MAJDEATH (Jun 16, 2015)

Good question. W used to initiate all the time before marriage (sometimes even if it was just a long traffic light). Now it seems to be by request only, unless it was one of her APs from years ago.


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

bell said:


> Question for those who have been married 10+ years...What happens to oral? I just don't feel like going down on my husband like I use to. Is this something that happens usually over time? So yeah we have kiddos and making time and all that could be a factor, but really besides all the typical reasons like too busy, time, pre-occupied...Does the desire to go down just start to go away over time? Has anyone dealt with this and bounced back somehow?


Oral as part of a mutual sexual encounter or stand alone?

If you're talking about stand alone, then you were probably doing it because making him happy made you happy. 

Why does it no longer make you happy to give him pleasure? If his behavior is reducing your desire to please him, then I can understand your lack of interest in oral for him.

If he is still doing his best to meet your needs and maintaining his grooming and appearance, then are you just less willing to put as much effort into his happiness since you already have him?


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Oral is a huge event for an old fart much like myself! I really believe that I love giving it more than receiving it!

That being said, if my lady wants to experience the benefits of some absolutely delectable oral, then first she had better take the needed time to fastidiously groom herself for the anticipated activity by severely trimming or shaving herself. This old codger is not an avid fan of going down on a beautiful woman, and then seeing that I'm then greatly in the process of either French-kissing or flossing my teeth with "Fidel Castro" or the yeti in "The Legend of Boggy Creek!"

I'm sorry, but I am justifiably not a real big fan of swishing pubes around in my mouth, all while I'm trying my levelest best to enjoy myself sexually!*


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

arbitrator said:


> *Oral is a huge event for an old fart much like myself! I really believe that I love giving it more than receiving it!
> 
> That being said, if my lady wants to experience the benefits of oral, then first she had better take the needed time to fastidiously groom herself for the anticipated activity by severely trimming or shaving herself. This old codger is not an avid fan of going down on a beautiful woman then seeing that I'm then greatly in the process of either French-kissing or flossing my teeth with Fidel Castro!
> 
> Justifiably am not a big fan of swishing pubes around in my mouth while I'm trying my best to enjoy myself!*


I see vaginas a lot like the weather.
When it's wet it's time to go inside.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

I never got tired of giving oral but I would have if my husband wasn't an awesome lover, always took care of me in anyway I needed, and kept himself looking and smelling and tasting clean and yummy.

What else is going on? How's your sex drive in general?


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

arbitrator said:


> *Oral is a huge event for an old fart much like myself! I really believe that I love giving it more than receiving it!
> 
> That being said, if my lady wants to experience the benefits of oral, then first she had better take the needed time to fastidiously groom herself for the anticipated activity by severely trimming or shaving herself. This old codger is not an avid fan of going down on a beautiful woman then seeing that I'm then greatly in the process of either French-kissing or flossing my teeth with Fidel Castro!
> 
> I'm sorry, but I am justifiably not a real big fan of swishing pubes around in my mouth all while I'm trying my level best to enjoy myself sexually!*


Arb.

Never say 'fart' and 'oral' in the same sentence.


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## anonmd (Oct 23, 2014)

kelrox91 said:


> Yes, (26 years here). Life gets hectic with kids, errands and everything else you have going on. I imagine after 10+ years you are both are pretty skilled at getting each other off, so you just get right to it. Blow jobs can be a lot of work and can take quite a bit of time. *Once the kids are older and you have a minute to yourself, it'll come back & you'll start to enjoy it again*. For now you might try doing it in anyplace other than your house (although I love to be naked, on my knees looking up at him all submissive but secretly knowing I am pretty much the one in control if only for a moment! Haha). Psych yourself up beforehand, keep reminding yourself how much you love this, how much you love him and LOVE pleasing him, you'll start to enjoy it!
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


If you say so, seems like a ruse to keep him on the hook to me


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Fozzy said:


> Arb.
> 
> Never say 'fart' and 'oral' in the same sentence.


*A point well taken, kind Sir!*


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## twoofus (Jun 16, 2017)

Cleanliness and smelling fresh makes giving oral such a pleasure! Although, rather perversly, I love the taste of her vagina after we got quite hot and a bit sweaty after sunbathing (as long as it clean in other respects). I haven't been blown to completion for a very long time sadly, but when it did happen, I would do everything to recipricate.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

bell said:


> Has anyone dealt with this and bounced back somehow?


In the very early stages of a relationship, oral can be much more prevalent for the following reasons:



Oral often happens well before penetration in relationships as it is "safer" with regards to STDs and unwanted pregnancies in a relationship that may not yet be fully committed to one another.
Oral can sometimes be practiced as a means of family planning when means of birth control are not yet determined or perhaps when changing from one method to another.
Oral is novel in new relationships and can be exciting because it is a new experience.

Once a couple is in a long-term and committed monogamous relationship, NONE of the above are a motivating factor anymore for oral. 

Moving forwards oral becomes exciting for the following reasons:



A way to tease you partner while specifically making it a point to temporarily prohibit opportunities for penetration. 
Continued development of techniques by performing oral much more rough and/or much more gentle that ever before. Perhaps even with temperature play by drinking hot and cold drinks while performing oral.
One-sided moments in which one partner focuses on only the other experiencing pleasure during moments of mismatched libido. 

Hope that helps, 
Badsanta


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

I guess I can say I've dealt with this. When we first got together I did some oral. With time oral and sex got less frequent. What happened? Life kids libido ? 

I can happily report I recovered. Our daughter just turn 19 and as she became less in focus and as we improved sexual communication our overall sex became better. As I now experience more and better orgasms I have a deep desire to give my husband oral pleasure. I don't usually make it all the way to the finish line. But 10 to 20 minutes then it goes in a hole of his choice ?


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## Lurkster (Feb 8, 2016)

We've been married over 35 years, and I do oral on my wife almost every time we make love. She orgasms best that way, so that's what I do. 
Her on me, most of the time too, although not to climax but half the time. (Not complaining one little bit) 

Note: Probably better if you don't picture old folks doing oral on each other....but it happens!!
(A lot)


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

Most things have warning labels on them and it is high time that they did the same for marriage licenses. "WARNING: Getting married may reduce or eliminate oral sex for the male. Can also cause infrequent sex, routine sex and viewing a lot of porn." I think that covers it. 

My wife still does it occasionally but not like when we first got married or were dating. Back then oral was a prelude to intercourse. The worst is yet to come. None of our friends in our age group of 65-72, even have sex except for once or twice a year on special occasions. The women lost their libidos after menopause and the men have Prostate problems or cancer. There are also medical reasons that make intercourse not feasible or possible. So enjoy it when you can because it gets worse. As to why your change of feeling for performing oral has changed is mostly that initial romantic love makes you overlook a lot of things. Nature's way to get a couple together and stay together. We overlook a lot of things that we should be looking at before we marry. Once that romantic love goes away you have a different kind of love and that kind of love does not make certain sexual acts not desirable anymore. 

My wife went from trying just about every sexual fetish in the book and having her girlfriend/lover live with us with threesomes every night, to no more intercourse, much less sex and oral on special occasions only. The nature of love goes from the romantic to the mature. Romantic love makes us overlook a lot of things, probably because we would not marry otherwise. Romantic love is replaced by mature love and mature love does not like semen or placing your mouth on the thing which not only shoots out urine but semen too. I thought everyone knew that marriage may affect oral sex. That is why we need a warning label.


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## Finwe (Nov 5, 2015)

I feel uniquely qualified to answer this question. My wife and I have very busy lives with many children. 

Oral sex was rare and now it is non-existent. I had a talk with Mrs. and she doesn't like the pressure. Again, busy lives, very active and hectic. It is just one more thing on her "To-Do" list. 

For the record, I have no problem reciprocating but she will not let me do that either. I think it makes her think she owes me then. 

So basically, rather than being just the two of us with simpler lives, we know have much bigger lives and is very complicated. Stress, anxiety, and pressure impact her willingness to perform oral sex.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I've never understood the "too busy" argument. Its not like giving oral is an all day chore. Are there really people who can't find 15 minutes a few times a week to please their partners. 

If there are other reasons for not doing it, fine, but calling it a lack of time seems strange. 






Finwe said:


> I feel uniquely qualified to answer this question. My wife and I have very busy lives with many children.
> 
> Oral sex was rare and now it is non-existent. I had a talk with Mrs. and she doesn't like the pressure. Again, busy lives, very active and hectic. It is just one more thing on her "To-Do" list.
> 
> ...


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*In my book, pleasing each other sexually is the name of the game!

Whereas oral is often an eccoutrement for PIV, I can take it as a stand-alone act, or as an opening act for the the real deal!

Fear and lethargy should have absolutely no place whatsoever in the arena of romantic/sexual love between a man and a woman! As long as both are acceptant, clean, and groom themselves accordingly, there should really be no problem!

And at least for the likes of this old codger, that type of fearful behavior is consummately a total deal breaker!*


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## Dannip (Jun 13, 2017)

The Mrs knows I like it and I know she likes it. So, we do oral. She cums non-stop so she ain't gonna let me outa her sight. She said she's only gone non-stop with me. Ive not experienced this before so I guess we're really compatible. 

She will still do it without me asking or getting in return. Me too. But it's most fun when we return the favor and continue. 

As for prostate issues, GUYS - it's best to keep it as clear as possible. So keep the sex going. AND INTERESTING. Change things up. Shave too. She will appreciate it. -and the feeling is quite amazing. She'll visit all parts of the package. She needs to shave up too. 

Menopause - have the wife start reading what Suzanne Summers has to say. See a doctor who understands medicine.


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