# hilarious discovery story



## husbandfool (May 20, 2012)

Well, I can laugh about it now but, back then it wasn't funny.

Preface: I am approaching end of D process with current WW. It has become civil and should play out smoothly enough (hah!).

Anyway, on to my post. I thought this was classic and figured someone might get a belly laugh over it. 

Back when I was a single Dad, 3 kids, I started dating a single Mom who I had met locally. She was very conservative and an active church-goer. She was attracive for sure. One thing led to another and we started dating casually. She was very aggressive about the relationship and was always pushing the pace. I was always trying to slow things down because I had my hands full with the kids and my job at the time. It went physical after awhile and she was an animal in bed ... just the opposite of her outside persona.
She was definitely pushing towards marriage ASAP. I was always slowing things down but, still wanted an exclusive relationship.
This frustrated her and she sometimes dated other men, mostly to make me jealous I've concluded. This made for an interesting relationship that had its ups and downs. I honestly felt she was "the one" but I wanted to take it a bit slower. I had a lot of concerns over family blending and affects on the kids.

Well, I was making plans for us for a weekend getaway and talked about it during the week. She said that she couldn't do it that weekend because she had made plans with her parents and family ... perhaps another week? It wasn't a biggie so I did things with the kids that weekend. That Sunday morning I awoke to my cell phone having 5 messages from the previous evening. 
It turns out that she had gone away with another man she had just met to a resort. It was one of those free weekends where they sell you all weekend. What happened was that Saturday night, during dinner, she had accidentally "butt-dialed" my cell phone from her purse and my voicemail was filled with recordings of their dinner conversations. Lots of interesting details !!!!!!!
Lots of laughter, sexual jokes, and talking about what they were going to try that night in bed .... even a few jokes about me!
I was devastated. Great way to wake up Sunday morning.

I had no clue this was happening but can be thankful that Providence smiled upon me. Sunday evening, when she got back home, she called me to see how my weekend went. She told me about her weekend visiting her folks and brothers. I played it cool and talked about my boring weekend. She wanted to get together the next night for dinner but, I made a lame excuse. The next evening I called her and spilled the beans about what i knew about her weekend. She at first denied it vehemently. When I mentioned the phone calls, and a few of her comments i heard, she confessed. I broke up with her that night. For weeks she was visiting and calling, upset over the breakup. Two months later she moved across country.

It was hard to deal with at the time but, now looking back, it seems incredibly humorous. Good thing I didn't get any STDs.
I think I dodged a bullet!
:smthumbup:


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## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

I'm so sorry. That was an awful way to find out.

I also laughed. Yes, providence was looking out for you!

Thanks for the Monday morning giggle.


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## SaltInWound (Jan 2, 2013)

To her, you were the perfect marriage material. You were a responsible single dad who could give her the freedom to cheat while you babysat her kids.


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

Yes you dodged the bullet big time. More to the point....where do these people come from? I just don't understand how people can be so dishonest and decietful. People nevet fail to shock and confuse me....I really don't understand how they think.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SaltInWound (Jan 2, 2013)

mineforever said:


> More to the point....where do these people come from? I just don't understand how people can be so dishonest and decietful. People nevet fail to shock and confuse me....I really don't understand how they think.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I would love to get inside the mind of one of them for just a day. I would prefer the test subject be my vile stbxh.


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## husbandfool (May 20, 2012)

Yes, she was on the fast track to get married. She had her own kids and did not like being a single Mom at all! 
Funny thing was, things were very good and we were great together in the beginning. Then she gradually became crazy and obsessive over getting married. This all happened over a span of about 18 months since the time we first met.


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## Alyosha (Feb 27, 2012)

I don't know you or this woman but the story makes me literally sick to my stomach.

I'm glad you can find humor in it. It just disgusts me and makes me sad that if you put your trust in anyone now days, you are a supreme fool.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

People. I'm 65 and not real savvy with the new phones being that I use my phone for what it was designed for, to make a phone call, and I know there will be an eye roll or two, but what is "butt dialing"?


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## LoveAtDaisys (Jul 3, 2013)

6301: A lot of cell phones today are touch screen, so they don't have buttons. That means that unless a person locks the phone, if it gets slid in a pocket and jostled around a lot (for instance, placed in a back pocket and somebody is sitting and shifting on it) the phone's screen will sometimes register the movement as you trying to place a call.

I hope that made sense  To the OP: I'm SO sorry you had to find out that way, but I'm also SO glad you didn't end up marrying her! Good on you, and I hope you've had better luck recently.


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## husbandfool (May 20, 2012)

I am thankful for it too. Now I can laugh about it. Back then (13 years ago) it wasn't funny at all.

She got married within a year of moving out of state. I got her wedding announcement (complete with picture) in the mail.
She has since divorced.


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## husbandfool (May 20, 2012)

Apparently she had her phone in her pocketbook next to her. She must have jostled it such that it hit the call button, or speed dial button, on her cell phone. The audio was somewhat muffled but I could definitely follow the conversation.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

6301 said:


> People. I'm 65 and not real savvy with the new phones being that I use my phone for what it was designed for, to make a phone call, and I know there will be an eye roll or two, but what is "butt dialing"?


It's when their phone is in their back trouser pocket, they sit on the phone and their butt dials either the last number called or a speed dial number.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

Thank you all for the answer to "butt dialing" I guess that's where they came up with the saying "Talking out of your ass". Drum roll and symbol crash!


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## Farmer_J (Jan 15, 2013)

husbandfool said:


> I am thankful for it too. Now I can laugh about it. Back then (13 years ago) it wasn't funny at all.
> 
> She got married within a year of moving out of state. I got her wedding announcement (complete with picture) in the mail.
> She has since divorced.


First of all, Sorry for having to go thru this. She is an awful person.


Then on top of that, she sends you her wedding announcement......thats spiteful and hateful. What a b*tch.


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## husbandfool (May 20, 2012)

Yeah, it was weird. 
After she moved across country she started calling me randomly on my cell phone. 
The wedding announcement had a big smiling pic of her on the front of the card ..... wish I had saved it. : )

After her divorce she started calling and messaging me all over again. Ugh. Glad that all stopped.


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## LostViking (Mar 26, 2013)

What is it with these church going people? They seem to be the worst prospects for marriage. I have a coworker who is a born again Christian, a devout churchgoer, and she had to move out of her house a few months ago because she cheated on her husband. I think they had been married less than a year. And I think he even plays in the church band.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## badcompany (Aug 4, 2010)

LostViking said:


> What is it with these church going people? They seem to be the worst prospects for marriage. I have a coworker who is a born again Christian, a devout churchgoer, and she had to move out of her house a few months ago because she cheated on her husband. I think they had been married less than a year. And I think he even plays in the church band.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Agreed. Not all, but some of the worst people I've met or heard of doing heinous things were churchgoers. I think they go out of guilt but it doesn't seem to change them.


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## LostViking (Mar 26, 2013)

I have nothing against religion or churchgoing. But what gives? It seems like so many of these WS spouses we read about in these CWI threads are active churchgoers, some of them even in positions of authority in their churches. 

Maybe there is a guilt complex that drives some of these people to church as a form of absolution? Maybe they are so blinded by their own hypocrisy and narcissism that they have no problem being goody goody on Sunday and promiscuouse the other six days of the week?


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## husbandfool (May 20, 2012)

My kids weren't wild about her because she was so "churchy" ....
very conservative and religious. 

If they only knew.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

There seems to be a disconnect between Sunday Morning and Monday morning......I attend church and some of the worst are churchgoers..not all..but they are there...I knew a girl once who lost count of her sexual partners but was "DEVOUT".....huh????


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

LostViking said:


> What is it with these church going people? They seem to be the worst prospects for marriage. I have a coworker who is a born again Christian, a devout churchgoer, and she had to move out of her house a few months ago because she cheated on her husband. I think they had been married less than a year. And I think he even plays in the church band.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Well, I'm not religious ... and I'll use the same line other people use ... I'm a science guy. I was raised in the church and very early on I was appalled at how hypocritical some of the most devout people in the church were. 

Throughout my life I have met many truly decent people of faith. I would not say that "church people" are the worst prospects for marriage. They are people just like everybody else and have flaws just like everybody else. 

That said, I have a couple of unpopular opinions:

1) Those who are raised in the church, whether they continue to go to church or not later on in life, generally seem to have a good handle on morality. Not always but I would say more likely than those who are not raised in the church. My wife is religious and I have allowed her to raise my daughters in the church and I don't regret that at all ... I have only seen benefits from it. They can form their own belief system when they are older. That said, I don't think the extreme is healthy ... those who are just pummeled with religion and live in an overbearing, strict household with little freedom for exploration of thought.

2) It's the fanatically devout that I worry about the most. More specifically, those who found religion later in life and take it to the extreme. They've lived through a tragic life and have become saved. The problem that I see is that some people hit rock bottom and look to god. They are unable to accept who they are or forgive themselves for what they've done and they have found acceptance and forgiveness through god. Unfortunately, they haven't really solved the problem ... they have found it externally. Some people need that and use it to accept themselves, making real positive changes in their lives. However, I have seen many people who haven't done that and when their faith is shaken, their lives crater, reverting quickly back to their former lives. Again, not always true but I've seen it often enough.


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## GreenThumb (Jul 5, 2013)

husbandfool said:


> Well, I can laugh about it now but, back then it wasn't funny.
> 
> Preface: I am approaching end of D process with current WW. It has become civil and should play out smoothly enough (hah!).
> 
> ...


Husbandfool, 

I also discovered who the OW was through a providence "butt dial". DDay was a Friday, kicked WH out of the house not knowing (but suspecting) who OW was. Received a voicemail from WH during a dinner with mom and sister the following Tuesday. Upon listening to voicemail, I heard conversation between WH and OW (whose voice I immediately recognized).

I don't think I'll ever laugh about it and still have the voicemail in the event R does not work out and I need it for legal reasons. I can honestly say I think that voicemail may be the single most devastating recording I've ever heard. However, like you, I think someone above had a hand in WH's butt dial.


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## crossbar (Aug 25, 2011)

Damn! And they were cracking jokes about you? That would have pissed me off the most!!

What was she saying about you? And what was her defense to that?


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

Good Providence!


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## baldmale (Dec 29, 2010)

Sounds like a familiar story; 

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/20059-first-days-after-discovery-cheating.html

Tough to lock those screens in the heat of the moment I suppose,lol.


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## husbandfool (May 20, 2012)

crossbar said:


> Damn! And they were cracking jokes about you? That would have pissed me off the most!!
> 
> What was she saying about you? And what was her defense to that?


Mostly about how clueless and gullible I was, thinking she was spending the weekend with her family. They got a chuckle from that.
She really didn't have any defense fo rthat, mostly apologozing profusely. At that point I stopped caring anymore.

The whole thing pissed me off.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Classic


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Amplexor said:


> Classic


:iagree:

The part I don't get in that movie is why he didn't nail the girl. 

/threadjack over....


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

mineforever said:


> Yes you dodged the bullet big time. More to the point....where do these people come from? I just don't understand how people can be so dishonest and decietful. People nevet fail to shock and confuse me....I really don't understand how they think.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Sociopaths - they're everywhere


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## The-Deceived (Jan 8, 2013)

One thing about being cheated on by your wife - for me at least - is that when **** with other women doesn't work out, for whatever reason, it's like, meh, whatever. I've already been gutted so bad - I'm finding it difficult to give a sh*t anymore. Probably has a lot to do with not letting myself really get close to anyone or fall for anyone.

I honestly can't fathom being "in love" ever again.


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