# Love at first sight........does it exist???



## mumof2 (Jul 7, 2009)

Now it makes a change to be writing a post on a happier note....

I met a man......and we clicked immediately, I mean really clicked.

I feel like a teenager, we cant seem to be apart. I feel I may be really falling for this guy...........am I kidding myself. Does this happen at my age!!!  

But then in the back of my mind I think about the fact my husband only left 8 months ago....although he had been in an EA for 16 months previous to that. Then back to earth with a bump!!!!


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

I think it can happen yes. My mom saw my dad one day, they went out to breakfast, he went home with her and never left.  They've been married for 35 years now. 

My boyfriend and I...well, we did talk on the phone before we actually met for a few weeks, so I don't know that it really counts in the same way. But I know when I saw him the very first time in person, my first thought was that I was going to fall in love with him.


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## mumof2 (Jul 7, 2009)

Thats made me feel loads better............and that I'm not being an old fool!!!

I know that I don't want to be away from him, and he feels the same..........I am head over heels if truth be known. I knew from the first moment that it would happen.

So how do I explain it to friends and family??? They I think still think I should be mourning the breakdown of my marriage, and to some extent I was ............but hey, life moves on. I so never expected this to happen, but almost feel silly for saying how I really feel about this guy...does that make sense??


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

It is one thing to let your heart go--it's another to give up your head and good judgment.

"Love at First Sight" Is about the person you see visually and you IMAGINE to exist behind the facade.

You cannot know the real person for months and months. So--do NOT risk anything you cannot get back--your kids' safety, your health and safety, money. You can feel like a teen-ager but you MUST act like an adult.

Don't move in/let him move in for at least 6 months. Don't introduce your kids to him or sacrifice time with THEM to have more time with him. If he really loves you, he'll understand. Your kids need you for the next year or 2; the break up of their family unit is distressing and, if you do not make them your top priority, the distress could lead to damage.

Enjoy yourself, but act like an adult. You have a LOT at stake right now. Limit your time to 1-2 nights a week with him. If the two of you can't handle "that much separation," then it wasn't real love in the first place, was it?


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## mumof2 (Jul 7, 2009)

Thanks for the comments ladies.........as I am in the process of divorcing the H there is no chance of living with anyone, so that is a great defence mechanism for me!

As for my kids, they are 21 and 26 and no longer live at home, so I am not quite sure what to do about telling them. I went out a few times with a guy...nothing special, but he was good company, and when my daughter (26) found out she went mad!!! She was angry that I hadn't told her about him and said she felt I was lying to her the same way her dad had done.

I felt awful, but I was trying to protect her , not lie to her.......so now I am worried the same thing is going to happen. But then I feel surely after being with the same man since 18 , now 45, I am free to start a new chapter in my life. 

Arrrgh, why are these things so complicated


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## Shianne (Feb 5, 2011)

Well if the kids are adults tell them  Tell them that you are smiling. Tell them that you feel good  Tell them that you don't know what it is yet but you do know that you are smiling and that you do deserve that.

I bet they agree


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## mumof2 (Jul 7, 2009)

Thanks.........I am smiling , all the time!!

All my friends and work colleagues have noticed so I am sure when I see my kids this weekend that they will too...........oh well in for a penny , in for a pound as they say!!!

I will let you know how I get on!!

BTW......happy mothers day to all for Sunday


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

mumof2 said:


> ... As for my kids, they are 21 and 26 and no longer live at home, so I am not quite sure what to do about telling them. I went out a few times with a guy...nothing special, but he was good company, and when my daughter (26) found out she went mad!!! She was angry that I hadn't told her about him and said she felt I was lying to her the same way her dad had done.


Actually I kind of "get" where your daughter is coming from. She's a young adult and yet her dad lied to her and made her look/feel like a fool. So I think what she's saying isn't so much "You can not have a new chapter in your life" so much as "Do not blindside me like dad did."

Thus you may want to have a talk with her adult woman to adult woman and explain that you are going to date, that you have no problem talking about it, etc. but as an example you had thought you would go out with the guy a couple times first and get to know him. If he's a jerk, you're blowing him off and there's no need to tell her and get her all upset. If he's nice and you'd like to get to know him more, you'll tell her about it so she's not surprised. And if you get to know him and you really think he's special and may be around a while....THEN you will introduce them and have them get to know one another too. 

I'm sure she doesn't tell you about every time she's asked out or about every little date. Thus the idea is to SHOW her that you're willing to be open and not blindside her or cover things up...but you also don't need to introduce every single man. Does that make sense?


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Whoa, daughter needs to respect your boundaries! If there is nothing to tell, there is nothing to tell. Let her know that if something is important, you would mention it--but casual stuff is just casual and unless you need her advice on a new outfit or something, she won't be hearing the boring details of your dating life (and there may be a LOT of boring details). But, do not "protect" her either--she is a grown up! She may not get to manage your social life, but you don't want to hide things from her either. That will give her a feeling that you are being deceptive. Ask her forgivenss, set the ground rules, and move forward!


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## mumof2 (Jul 7, 2009)

You are right Sisters.my daughter lives away from home and has done for 3 years, and I am sure there has been plenty going on in her private life that I don't know about.

I really like this guy, and I want her to know at the very least that I am seeing someone. She can meet him whenever she is ready, but I really cannot cope with the grief she gave me last time when i dated a guy a few times. I felt that she saw my only role as being that of her mother and that nothing else mattered. Now I adore my 2 kids and pride myself on the fact they have turned into great adults..........I will never stop adoring them but how do I get her to see this. 


But then she says that she wants me to be happy..........I know she is struggling with her dad and I divorcing, but it wasn't of my chosing. I am dating because her dad didn't want ME anymore!!!


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

mum...I understand where you are regarding your kids (even thought they are adults)!

I was married for 25 years. Now divorced and dating a wonderful man for 1 year. My daughter, now 16.5 years old wasn't keen on the idea. We didn't rub it in her face or have her around "us" all of the time. However, she has had a transition period this year. 

I explained to her, one night, after she confessed that she was having a difficult time with her father and I dating.....that I wanted to be married but it was her dad that didn't. She was unaware. 

I also explained that her dad and I weren't going to sit around and let life pass us by. How we love and adored her but having parents that were unhappy and not living a full life wasn't a good thing. 

She is now getting used to the idea of another person around. 

Mum...you are right. They do want us happy but they also will always want us back together with their dad. I understand and respect that....I would have wanted the same thing. 

But we have to get on with it!


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## johnboy63 (May 2, 2011)

Daughters usually feel betrayed when dad cheats on mom. Especially if they are very close to dad, it becomes a severe betrayal. Seeing you with a new man also may give her the same feeling, even though her dad was responsible for the split. All you can do is show her how happy you are and she will eventually get over it when she see's that you have picked a good man.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I believe in horny at first sight and insanity at first sight. I believe love is a choice and it requires a lot of information which can only come with time.


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

I do believe in love at first sight but that doesn't mean you have to rush anything. Take as long as you can before committing to anything in order to learn all you can about this new man in your life. Hopefully, he is everything you are hoping for but some people can be very crafty at improvising. My sister in laws cousin was mrried, yes married for six months before she found out he was not a doctor but a bicyle salesman. Yeah, long storyw there. And she is a college educated woman with a masters in human behavioral science. That guy had us all fooled. Thay are now divorced. I don' t want to scare you and most people are great but you've got to get to really know this person before you commit. Just my thought on it. And I really hope it all goes great for you. You deserve it. And thanks for your story; it gives me hope after 30 yrs of marriage (I'm 50) to know there may still be hope for me not to be alone for the rest of my life. My wife also decided she wanted out and my kids are all grown up as well so I can relate to your story.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## englishguy80 (Jul 25, 2010)

Its called lust at first sight.

Which then can lead on to those two people having the right emotionaly connection to fall quickly in love. 

Its impossible to truely "love" someone at first sight because you don't know them. Any illusion to love at first sight is purely based on a fantasy as to how you think that person is / will be. 

Its just wonderful when that illusion turns into reality and that person does turn out to be everything you want them to be!


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

I met my husband on a blind date. Within 3 dates I just knew he was the one. We will celebrate our 20th anniversary this year.


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## mumof2 (Jul 7, 2009)

Well time for an update............
I'm still seeing the guy, he's great and I have not been this happy for a very long time.............. but my daughter is still very unhappy.
She wont meet him, wont talk about him and gets the arse with me when I say anything about him..........I'm at a complete loss as to what to do.
My son on the other hand thinks he is great!!

Any ideas would be greatly appreciated


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## ELS (Jun 8, 2011)

I talked to my husband non-stop when we met and the more I heard from him the more he was the most interesting, funny, smart guy I'd ever met, with ethics mirroring my own. Loved his looks from across a room, did a double take. Fell further off the cliff EVERY TIME he opened his mouth. I was smitten kitten! Little did I know he felt the exact same about lil ol me. I am talking about being so happy you cannot sleep and have to force yourself to eat.
Unfortunetly this got a bit convoluted lately and we are trying our best to repair things. All I have to do is think about the beginning and I think we can do anything.


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## angel21 (Jun 20, 2011)

i used to believe in love at first sight but now i don't.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Yes, and it is different than mere sexual attraction.
It will certainly get your attention, one way or the other.
You can try to knock it down and disqualify it by a variety of methods, but if it's still there, it is most definitely love.
So I think it does exist at first sight, but the recognition and realization might take a while. I think this is why it's so important for people to take care of themselves, spiritually and emotionally and physically. To be able to give love a home it finds that sweet space between two people. I have waffled on this belief in the past, but I would be okay now stating that I have this belief. It is also entirely possible to believe in love at first sight and to be mistaken, but this is on a case-by-case basis and involves a perception issue not to refute the belief in love at first sight but to say that it is possible to make a mistake by misreading your physical reaction to someone. Fear and love share some characteristics. You can tell the difference by the nature of the courage required to deal with them. One is a panicked courage without confidence, the other is more of a calm courage with a sense of humor.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

No it does not exist. I am starting to think that love, period, does not exist either.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

The first time I saw my husband (I was 31) I knew I would marry him  He just had "it".

We connected instantly and would talk well into the night. He told me later than he'd never talked like that with anyone.

At the moment we are separated, but we're slowly healing. Time will tell.  But yea, I believe in it.


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## mumof2 (Jul 7, 2009)

Well all I can tell you all is that I am still seeing the same guy..... and its definitely love! 
Sadly I still have a problem with my daughter in that she still isn't interested. My son gets on great with him......and for the first time since my husband cheated over 2 years ago, I feel amazing
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## omega (Aug 2, 2011)

I just want to say that I also am a "victim" of love at first sight. My husband and I fell very deeply in love immediately. He asked me to marry him four days after we met (and I said yes). And this was two days after he said he "didn't believe in marriage." But he changed his mind radically because of my own thoughts about marriage (in his mind, people got married to settle down and have children, but I don't want children - he never thought about being married and childfree before me). Anyway, my point is that yes of course you can meet and fall in love with someone very quickly if that person is right for you.

However, for every person who fell in love at first sight there are 1000 other people who fell in lust at first sight and it did not last. My husband and I fall in love with each other over and over and as crazy about him as I was when we met, I am ever so much more crazy about him now. If this man makes you truly happy, go with it. Since you have the history you have, I'd probably advise you not to rush into anything like we did - actually I think it's bad advice to anybody to rush into anything, but we don't always take our own advice


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## Rafaelinan (Jul 31, 2011)

mumof2 said:


> Well all I can tell you all is that I am still seeing the same guy..... and its definitely love!
> Sadly I still have a problem with my daughter in that she still isn't interested. My son gets on great with him......and for the first time since my husband cheated over 2 years ago, I feel amazing
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Hey, that's very good to hear! I know that your issue with your daughter is a big factor but at least somebody's making you happy again. It's a very great feeling to love and be loved in return after all the heartaches, isn't it? Good luck to everything!


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## match (Aug 3, 2011)

Hi guys, I am writing to you on behalf of match.com. Its interesting to read your posts on love at first sight, especially as at match we believe in the "match moment" which we define as:

the moment when two people first meet and realise that this could be the start of something good. Perhaps it was the butterfly feeling you got on the first date, or the smile your partner gave you the first time you made them laugh…

We’d love to hear if you two had a particular moment when you both knew that your relationship could be something special? Email us your match moment to [email protected] or tweet us #matchmoment for the chance to win vouchers for a meal at Jamie Oliver’s Italian restaurants.


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## mumof2 (Jul 7, 2009)

Well omega I am not intending to rush into anything just yet, but he makes me very happy! I felt so comfortable with him from the very first time we met......and that hasn't changed over the last 5months. I really never thought I could feel like this again  
The issue with my daughter is the only downer..... She says she is so happy if I'm happy but it doesn't feel like that. We used to be so close but I feel as if that's changing. But I'm her mum, and love her dearly so I'll give her all the time she needs.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ManDup (Apr 22, 2011)

mumof2 said:


> Now it makes a change to be writing a post on a happier note....
> 
> I met a man......and we clicked immediately, I mean really clicked.
> 
> ...


I'm nearly 50 and had something similar. We met at a party, e-mailed incessantly for the next couple of days, went on our first real date the Wednesday after the party where we talked non-stop for 6 hours, and haven't spent more than a day or two apart since. We're married now, which makes it easier :smthumbup:


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Lust/Attraction/Interest at first sight, Love developes after the years of togetherness.

Met my hubby at work one night... I was a Night Auditor at a hotel and he was the security guard. He walked in, introduced himself and I was smitten immediately. Two years of friendship and one year of marriage later... here I am griping about him.


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## Mike188 (Dec 29, 2009)

I only read the first post and none of the others. Yes, I definitely believe in love at first sight. I've experienced it. It was obvious to me, her and everyone in the room when I walked in and we first made eye contact. Every time we were together after that we just felt more and more alike.

Unfortunately our time together was short and now we've lost contact.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I've my eye on a 1958 Rolls Royce Silver Cloud that makes me sweat and go weak when I see it. Does that count?


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> I've my eye on a 1958 Rolls Royce Silver Cloud that makes me sweat and go weak when I see it. Does that count?


With cars this is entirely possible!!!! (I'm a car nut, too).


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## mumof2 (Jul 7, 2009)

Ok I can relate to love at first sight with a car....... the new lexus cabriolet.....we we were made for each other! Lol
I am still with my man..... Nearly 6 months down the line and I still feel the same. I'm happier than I have been in years 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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