# should I be worried?



## joe in cali (Dec 15, 2007)

I really don't have much to go on. My wife has been going through some big changes. She's shed a lot of things she developed after we got married and has loosened up significantly. Without going into a lot of detail, she's really more like the girl I met when she was in college. Loose, back to social drinking, a little cursing, etc. Normally I'd be fine. No big deal.

What has me going a little psycho is she keeps her laptop password protected and I learned recently that she has an email account I didn't know about. She's non-technical and I was surprised she even figured it out. She's very involved on a chat forum and is planning to meet some of the people. It's mostly women, but some men. The forum is academic in nature.

I got kind of emotional about the secrecy after a while. My mind went a little haywire. Sure, I was being insecure and really didn't have any real reason to suspect she's into anything inappropriate, but two things came from a very ugly few days. 1. She insists that husbands and wives don't need to know everything about each other; and 2. despite me being pretty emotional (sad, not accusatory), she never did the simple act of tossing me her computer and saying "have a look for yourself, bozo. You have nothing to worry about."

There's something about this that just smells. I've never had a reason to distrust my wife and it may be just a simple matter of self consciousness. She's more relaxed around her friends than me and she might be embarrassed for me to see how she interacts. The fact is, she's never really elaborated why she must keep things so private. I've never insisted on seeing her private email or message board, but she's never come close to offering, either.

Am I just paranoid?


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## Twineball (Nov 27, 2007)

You may be a little paranoid, BUT I agree that something does smell a little fishy there. While some amount of privacy can exist between a married couple, there's something strange about deliberately hiding interactions with others.


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## Delphi (Nov 28, 2007)

I have never cheated on my husband or even thought about it but I don't want him reading my emails. I think you are making too much of this. Some people need more privacy than others and we all need a life outside of our marriages.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

A married couple in my veiw should be an open book. Hidden emails and password to often are signs of not trusting someone or hiding something.

draconis


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