# 180 Progress - At what point do you contact the wife?



## Lonelyin NC (Aug 1, 2012)

Heres the update on my 180. Its been nearly a month since i've started it

- Wife sent me an email a couple weeks ago (all business, no personal stuff) telling me she sent a certified letter with her Ct car registration and asking me if Ive signed the mortgage in my name - I ignored the email and didnt bother picking up the letter from the post office

Fast forward to last night - Im at work , and she calls while Im in a work meeting. I didnt answer her call and 10 minutes later , I get an email asking why I didnt pick up. She really wants her car registration signed off by me ( the only way she can register her car is if I sign it) and she really wants to know if ive taken care of the mortgage thing. Shes starting to use words like please.

At what point should I actually contact her? A couple people I have talked to said I should send her a long letter stating how I feel . Im at a stalemate on that one , esp after the way she indirectly trashed me on FB. Right now, the plan is to keep the 180 up


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## Sod (Aug 20, 2011)

Well done on implementing the 180. I dont think you can avoid all conversations particularly those involving day to day stuff that you are tied to. By all means, respond with the appropriate detail around dealing with the car etc and nothing more. Just stick to the basics and take care of the "administrative" stuff while leaving emotion out of it


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## spun (Jul 2, 2012)

Lonelyin NC said:


> Heres the update on my 180. Its been nearly a month since i've started it
> 
> - Wife sent me an email a couple weeks ago (all business, no personal stuff) telling me she sent a certified letter with her Ct car registration and asking me if Ive signed the mortgage in my name - I ignored the email and didnt bother picking up the letter from the post office
> 
> ...


180 is all about respecting yourself. Business communication, as long as kept simply as that, is perfectly ok, and in situations where there are kids and shared property/assets, necessary.

Do not send her a letter stating how you feel. That's the last thing you want to do.

Business only. Calm, cool, detached. No emotion.

Keep up the good work!


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## Twofaces (Dec 5, 2011)

:iagree:


Sod said:


> Well done on implementing the 180. I dont think you can avoid all conversations particularly those involving day to day stuff that you are tied to. By all means, respond with the appropriate detail around dealing with the car etc and nothing more. Just stick to the basics and take care of the "administrative" stuff while leaving emotion out of it


:iagree::iagree::iagree:

Its what i do.


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## Lonelyin NC (Aug 1, 2012)

Well i've decided the long letter is out of the question. I spent the first 4 1/2 months of my seperation boo hooing over the wife with no sucess in breaking the ice. After what i read on her FB ....thats when I hit rock bottom and realized ive got better things to live for and needed to rebuild myself from the ground up. a funny side note to add ..I find myself paraphrasing the intro to the Six Million Dollar Man 

"Gentlemen, we can rebuild him..we have the tools , we have the capabilities .Make him better than before - Better, stronger, faster!" ( This can apply to the ladies here too who are doing the 180)

On a serious note - Thank God we had no children together..Id be up that creek without a paddle if we did. I'll take care of her car registration whenever I get it in the mail again. However , as far as the house goes, She waived her rights to it and Im in the process of assuming the mortgage solely in my name. My biggest question , what concern is it of hers of what Im doing with the house?..call me paranoid, but my gut tells me shes up to something .


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