# Lost with no direction to take



## Endgame (Nov 6, 2011)

Well, the divorce is finalized, no hope left, even though we remained civil, kind and respectful throughout this ordeal. A 20 year marriage done and over with. It's been a very painful journey for the past couple of years, with his EA, loss of jobs for both of us, and his resentment and bitterness towards me and the guilt that I'm having to live with as a result. Three kids are now completely in my care, all teenagers, and one graduating this year. He wants no part of our lives any more, as he desires to find someone younger (he's 57), start a new family and “do it right” the next time around so-to-speak. So, he's moving back to his homeplace 2000 miles away to live with his mother until someone new shows up at his doorstep. My heart goes out to him, even though it's totally broken. But, I wish him well with his dream of a new life, and making a new family. Now I look at where I'm at and not too happy or content here in this place. We had to sell our dream home that we designed and built, and currently living in an apartment. Fortunately, it was a good sale on the house which left us financially OK, but it will only be for a period of time since I'm presently not working. Not expecting child support nor will I fight him for it. This region is economically depressed right now, with little hope of recovery any time soon.

So, I'm thinking about packing up the kids after the oldest graduates and head off to another area. No extended family to fall back on for support, so it's just me making all of the decisions. The kids back me up on whatever I decide to do. They're actually looking forward to moving to a new region.

So, I wrote all of this to ask of any here who have done just that, is it a worthy move to make? I know I won't miss anything here, too many painful memories of the recent past. Any sound advice would be much appreciated!


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## 52flower (Mar 4, 2011)

My story is somewhat similar in that my exH also moved 2000 + miles to make a new home with his affair partner. He left me with a large house to short sale, pack, and move out of. Having no where to go, I moved, alone, out of the city, 70 miles away. While I still have to return to the city for my job, moving away helped me move on tremendously. 18 years together provide many memories and triggers. If you have an inclination of changing your environment to make a new start, I think it can be a healthy change.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Endgame said:


> Three kids are now completely in my care, all teenagers, and one graduating this year. He wants no part of our lives any more, as he desires to find someone younger (he's 57), start a new family and “do it right” the next time around so-to-speak. So, he's moving back to his homeplace 2000 miles away to live with his mother until someone new shows up at his doorstep.


Wow, what a great catch he is. A 57 year old man who abandoned his family, has no job and is living with his mommy. I can only imagine what his profile will be on Match.com 

Could you please send me his address? I REALLY want to hook up with him! NOT.  :crazy: :tool:

If I were you I'd take your kids advice and move someplace new and different. Look at it as a new adventure..a fresh start. Consider yourself lucky that this dirtbag doesn't want anything to do with you. You are sounding VERY reasonable and it's great that your kids support you. 

I moved away to a new town and apartment with my kids after separating from my husband last year. I'm still in the same area due to my work, kids school, etc but just moving to someplace new and different was a VERY good thing. My kids, especially my daughter, found it to be very therapeutic to pick out new furniture for the new place, set things up OUR way, etc, etc. I HIGHLY recommend moving away and making a fresh start. Once you get yourself into your own place and build a new life for yourself you WILL feel much better. My kids are in the same age group as yours (one is graduating this year and one is going into high school) and they have been a great support to me as well. I wish you the best of luck.


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