# Just Friends!!!!



## acejoker (Feb 4, 2009)

OK I really feel that im a idiot now! Im 36 wife is 33 and we been happy married for 8 years now. about 3 years ago i find out that she is talking to a co worker (married) on cell phone after work mind you with hours and hours of communication between both of them in one months time. Ok i confront her about this and of course i get we are just friends and pretty much convinces me of course. Now mind you im a pretty laid back guy. Now shes open to me about it she not hiding him from me at all like friends do. She talks to him on the in front of me about like say friends stuff nothing out of the ordinary (weather, work, did you here what she said he said type of stuff.) This goes on for a while and i start feeling sometimes wrong with this picture. i pretty much asked if she is having a affair with this guy. I get we are just friends and not attractive to him at all nothings going on. Speed it up about a month ago she tells me he is getting a divorce from his wife of 16 years. 
In 3 years time i have never meet his wife or even talked to her at all, tried the lets all of us meet and go to diner never happen always excuses. Im feeling now i have to meet her because if shes out of the picture i feel he is going to go after my wife. A couple of days ago I call her at work and she calls me back immediately and says we have to talk. We meet and are stories are the exact same. I was blowin away. We both pretty much know that it not a physical relationship but a emotional one I always knew that this wasn't right and something was wrong with this whole situation but never knew that there was a name for it EMOTIONAL AFFAIR! I really feel like a fool now. Have not confronted her about the emotional affair yet still learning about it. Wife and Her Friend are a text book case but any advice on this will be greatly appreciated. Thanks sorry so long winded but could write a book on this one


----------



## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

You have to find out how far this is gone. The only way to do that is by the use of voice activated recorder. 30 to 100 dollars at radio shack. Buy 2 or 3. One goes in her car. 2 goes by the phone in the bedroom. And the other one by wherever she talks the most. 

Then what you do is, before she goes to work put it in her car. And then accuse her that you are certain that they are having an emotional or physical affair, probably both. This will get her hot to talk about it with a friend or this guy. 

Leave her at home with the other two VARs and do the same thing. At some point. something will slip. 

You can also keylogger the computer. This way you can monitor her computer use too. Hey the way I figure it. If she knows that you are uncomfortable with her talking to him, and she continues do it. She isn't caring about your feelings why should you care about her privacy.

There are people here that disagree with me. But I am one opinion.


----------



## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

well I have plenty of female friends, some for years. I am still good friends with a few of my Ex's. So it is possible.

Did your wife ask you for a divorce? or is it just the other couple? How old is the other co-worker? 

I imagine his marriage has been on the rocks for a long time. Something finally broke the camels back sort of say.

You ahve met this guy and become friendly with him, right? how does he treat you? 

Before ASSUMING I would make sure it is more then a friendship, I mean it is easy for his wife to throw yours under the bus. 

Step back and really look at it, do you trust your wife? has she really given you a reason to think it was anything ore then a friendship? Jealousy can be a evil enemy and get the best of us.

If my wife was jealous of all my female friends we would have been divorced a long time ago, but she has nothing to worry about and she knows it.


----------



## acejoker (Feb 4, 2009)

GaSoccerman, No i havent ask the wife for a divorce and right now just trying to understand. co- worker is 43 years old. Yes according to his wife he has been in emotional affairs with other women since 93 and had a phyical relationship with one of them. My Wife is not the only one he talks to, their another girl as well. She says that since they got married within 6 months he was talking to another girl. This is coming from his wife. in 2000 they enter counseling and he pretty much broke down and confessed everything. Telling her about his affair and that the emotional affairs are satisfying to him. This means he does not have to be as intimate with her as much. I dont understand this logic yet. He was committed to her for about 10 months after the break down and that is as long as it lasted.


----------



## acejoker (Feb 4, 2009)

Initfortheduration said:


> You have to find out how far this is gone. The only way to do that is by the use of voice activated recorder. 30 to 100 dollars at radio shack. Buy 2 or 3. One goes in her car. 2 goes by the phone in the bedroom. And the other one by wherever she talks the most.
> 
> Then what you do is, before she goes to work put it in her car. And then accuse her that you are certain that they are having an emotional or physical affair, probably both. This will get her hot to talk about it with a friend or this guy.
> 
> ...


----------



## acejoker (Feb 4, 2009)

done this nothing out of the ordinary. this did not go on very long. There was i couple of times that he wanted her to come to work while she was at home on vacation and have lunch.


----------



## TGolbus (Nov 3, 2008)

Ace - are you focusing on your wife as much as you are on the other guy? How is she behaving? Anything out of the ordinary? How is your communication? Do you feel she is 100% open and honest?


----------

