# Married too young?



## billydagoat (Jan 10, 2010)

We got married 5 years ago. Initially things were great. We found out we were going to have a baby, but my wife freaked out and said we would loose the house as we couldnt aford it. This really scared me and we had a termination.
Since then my mum died and i had bad depression. My wife then has annorexia.
All the genuine love and effection isnt there for me most of the time although we do go for walks and things. We no longer have sex and I'm looking elsewhere. I was always a flirt and something think i married too young - I'm 34 now.
The other day I met some friends in London and on the way back a girl flirted with me and then left the tube. A guy said, you should have given you her number. There are so many times like this and i feel limited.
Other times I look forward to holidays and spending time with her, but not often now. I dont know how much of this is me trying to be a husband.
I see others really connecting as a couple but am lost. Maybe the grass is always greener but I dont like spinner her along either.
Please help


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## whyminvrsatsfd (Nov 28, 2009)

Your wife seriously has issues and needs counselling ASAP. When she got pregnant, she wasnt worried about the house, she was worried about weight gain and body image. When a woman wants a baby, she'll have a baby even if it meant going broke. People with eating disorders have issues with control. They isolate themselves so others wont recognize any change or patterns. So I can understand looking elsewhere. Looking OK CHEATING not ok. Tell your wife she should probably go for counselling and that you'll go with her is she wants. If she refuses give a little time. But if she's insisting not to go, I would separate. While all of this is strictly some suggestions, you need to do what is good for you. I feel that you are definitely torn and youre very lonely. Feeling lonely while alone is better than feeling lonely with someone. Good luck.


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## sienna (Dec 8, 2009)

I dont think your age has anything to do with this at all. Marrying at 29 is not too young. If its right its right, and at the moment it doesnt seem right.
I completely agree about her terminating the baby because of the weight gain issue. Has she always had eating disorders? Or is this the first time?
And taking that even a step further eating disorders are a result of a number of issues - insecurity, lack of confidence, depression etc. So she definitely needs some counselling to get through that.
I think you need to be there for her throughout this process but if she isnt willing to get her life back on track there is nothing you can do about it.
sorry you are going through this


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## Dryden (Jan 5, 2010)

There's a lot more here than age.

I was married at 20 and am still happy that way. It sounds like there are other things that need attention more than age.


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