# Obsessed with Oral Sex



## StarVoyager (Jan 10, 2021)

Quick background, we are a couple in our early 40s. My wife is still absolutely stunning and I am obsessed with giving her oral pleasure and I want to do it daily for her. She thinks I am crazy but she definitely enjoys it. How do I convice or approach her to let me do it every day or am I asking too much? Once a week is driving me nuts! My sex drive is much higher than hers and I am content with just giving her oral with no reciprocalactions or sex needed most of the times.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

You don't "get her" to do anything. If she doesn't want to do it, you don't try and force her into doing it.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

If something is an obsessive act then it becomes disingenuous as a loving mutual engagement..... it’s really just about you wanting to perform the act.

I get it... I like giving as well but I think your wife might be put off about it being so much a focus point. She wants mutual engagement, not to be the flesh surrounding the 🐈 you want to lick.


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

ALL things in moderation. 


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Can you compromise? Can you agree to vary things more? It does sound very obsessive.


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## JustTheWife (Nov 1, 2017)

Yeah, I suggest you chill on it.
Perhaps "obsessed" is just the far too common hyperbole in language. But I'll take your words as written. "Obsessed" is not healthy and it means you are losing focus on other things in favor of performing oral on your wife. Just because you are not expecting reciprocity, doesn't mean there is no burden on her. I have a very high sex drive and I would not want to be expected to do this every day in that way. It can be draining when someone focuses on you too much in sex. Like "I just want to please you" and you're the whole focus. A lot of guys think we like this but speaking for myself, i do not.

You say do it "daily *for her*". I suspect that it's not really "for her" as you say it is because it she was getting in position at the agreed time every day, you wouldn't be asking how to get her to do it! So first step in dealing with this is realization that it's not "*for her*".


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Mr.Married said:


> If something is an obsessive act then it becomes disingenuous as a loving mutual engagement..... it’s really just about you wanting to perform the act.
> 
> I get it... I like giving as well but I think your wife might be put off about it being so much a focus point. She wants mutual engagement, not to be the flesh surrounding the 🐈 you want to lick.


Yup.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Find a hobby.


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## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

StarVoyager said:


> Quick background, we are a couple in our early 40s. My wife is still absolutely stunning and I am obsessed with giving her oral pleasure and I want to do it daily for her. She thinks I am crazy but she definitely enjoys it. How do I convice or approach her to let me do it every day or am I asking too much? Once a week is driving me nuts! My sex drive is much higher than hers and I am content with just giving her oral with no reciprocalactions or sex needed most of the times.


Oral Once a week is still too much for me. I like it when I am in that mood. I don't mind giving it every day but getting it daily stops it being special.


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## 10 minutes (Dec 30, 2020)

Do it as regularly as she enjoys it. Simple.

When I was young my girlfriend didn’t want to “technically” lose her virginity so she’d only do 69ers. That’s all we did for years and we loved it. Nothing controversial about engaging in oral all the time if you’re partner feels the same.


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## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

StarVoyager said:


> Quick background, we are a couple in our early 40s. My wife is still absolutely stunning and I am obsessed with giving her oral pleasure and I want to do it daily for her. She thinks I am crazy but she definitely enjoys it. How do I convice or approach her to let me do it every day or am I asking too much? Once a week is driving me nuts! My sex drive is much higher than hers and I am content with just giving her oral with no reciprocalactions or sex needed most of the times.


First tell her this


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## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

When you say you do it and you don’t need sex afterwards, are you saying you then don’t proceed to intercourse?? Is there hardly any penetration or variation due to this obsession? 

Nothing wrong with asking this of her, but it may become stagnant after a while, remember to mix it up here and there. 

You use the word obsession, which may indicate a problem, do you think it is??


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

I love some chocolate from time to time, but right after Halloween and probably right through Christmas, it makes me want to vomit at just the sight of it...

You can wear anything out, no matter how good, by taking it to an extreme...I'd be careful what you wish for, that's all I am saying....


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## FlaviusMaximus (Jan 10, 2012)

StarVoyager said:


> Quick background, we are a couple in our early 40s. My wife is still absolutely stunning and I am obsessed with giving her oral pleasure and I want to do it daily for her. She thinks I am crazy but she definitely enjoys it. How do I convice or approach her to let me do it every day or am I asking too much? Once a week is driving me nuts! My sex drive is much higher than hers and I am content with just giving her oral with no reciprocalactions or sex needed most of the times.


I go down on my wife about half of the time we have sex (2-3 times a week) but I'd think doing it daily runs the risk of making it repetitive and common. As much as you might like it, she ought to look forward to it, she ought to want it, even ask for it. I can't see that happening in the direction you want to go. You'll make it common and unexciting.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

MaiChi said:


> Oral Once a week is still too much for me. I like it when I am in that mood.* I don't mind giving it every day* but getting it daily stops it being special.


To MaIChi: Read your words.

Same/similar mindset as OP, except you are not obsessed, just giving.

Men and women do enjoy pleasing their partner, but not always themselves.

................................................................................................
Back to @StarVoyager

One-sided lovemaking shows unconditional love, and sounds good, but, ultimately we are not puppies.

It takes two to have intimacy.
Your wife is simply, not as HD as you.
Plus, she is likely more a participator than a participant.

Going down on a woman *can be* maddening and uncomfortable, especially, if they do not get off, rather, just get sexually frustrated.

It seems that you are worshiping more her beauty than her person-hood.
This, with you wishing to admire her beauty up close, nose close, to fondle her beauty, to bath in it, to literally lap it up.

As much as you want, she is not a sex doll.

I get it, I really do.
She doesn't.


_The Typist-_


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Some women would love their husband to be like this.

Both sexes rarely seem to meet and make whole, their match.

Mismatches are more common, in every respect.

Sigh..


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Find a hobby.


His hobby is her, as a hobby, is her knobby.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

As was pointed out by others anything done everyday becomes predictable and looses its novelty. If you and she like it, great, but maybe save it for special occasions or a couple times a month, not every day.

Talk to her, tell he you love doing it, but you want to explore with her other ways of arousing each other and see what she might prefer instead. If she is not sure have each of you fill out a yes/no/maybe list to come up with new things to try.

Good Luck.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

I don't think I have ever seen an OP get jumped on by so many people for WANTING to please his wife. LOL!


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

He's asking how he can _convince _her. It isn't about pleasing _her._


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

bandit.45 said:


> I don't think I have ever seen an OP get jumped on by so many people for WANTING to please his wife. LOL!


Well the thing is he's not pleasing his wife. He's pleasing himself. She's sick of it.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

My ex wanted to push oral on me too as a substitute for the ED he wouldn't deal with.

I liked a bit of it as part of a well rounded sex life but as a substitute for PIV sex it wasn't bonding for me. I could actually live fine without it and just have PIV sex, though Im happy to give as its appreciated.

Also, ex demanded to know why I "wouldn't let him make me happy". It wasn't about what I wanted... it was about making himself feel better about refusing to deal with the ED.

If he'd made an honest effort to deal with the ED without success we could've worked something out. But he wouldn't deal anything that made him uncomfortable and I was supposed to help him feel better about himself by "letting" him push oral on me.

Perhaps OP's wife feels something like this.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

I would like to give my wife oral but she doesn’t like it. She has had orgasms from it before but she much prefers manual stimulation. So I don’t do it because she doesn’t like it. Seems easy enough. If you’re worried about lasting get condoms and/or learn to use your hands.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

People on here are crazy, I’d take it everyday!


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

ccpowerslave said:


> I would like to give my wife oral but she doesn’t like it. She has had orgasms from it before but she much prefers manual stimulation. So I don’t do it because she doesn’t like it. Seems easy enough. If you’re worried about lasting get condoms and/or learn to use your hands.


The best lovers I had really knew how to use their hands.


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

DownByTheRiver said:


> The best lovers I had really knew how to use their hands.










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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

I think women have times where they just feel funky or gross, or their minds are elsewhere, or they are under a lot of stress and are just not "feeling it". And then some women want the candles and whining and dining and tap dance to make sure their partner is worthy, and then they will allow it. It's a royal pain in the ass, but as with everything else a man is forced to learn his partners body language and mannerisms in order to determine whether she's "in the mood", because she sure as hell isn't going to come out and say it. So as the giver you have to suck it up and play the waiting game and just observe.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> I think women have times where they just feel funky or gross, or their minds are elsewhere, or they are under a lot of stress and are just not "feeling it". And then some women want the candles and whining and dining and tap dance to make sure their partner is worthy, and then they will allow it. It's a royal pain in the ass, but as with everything else a man is forced to learn his partners body language and mannerisms in order to determine whether she's "in the mood", because she sure as hell isn't going to come out and say it. So as the giver you have to suck it up and play the waiting game and just observe.


Which reminds me, how's it going with your girlfriend (the one who is a decade younger)?


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Blondilocks said:


> Which reminds me, how's it going with your girlfriend (the one who is a decade younger)?


Oh that was long ago. I don't date anymore. Living the monk life, and I'm enjoying it.


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

Blondilocks said:


> Which reminds me, how's it going with your girlfriend (the one who is a decade younger)?


Hahaa...I see what you did there 


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Girl_power said:


> People on here are crazy, I’d take it everyday!


Oral as a description can be deceiving. 

When I'm giving oral to DW, it's oral and both hands, fingers, and beard!
😋😋😋👍👍👍


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