# 32 years and it just keeps getting better



## Cmackdaddy

Before I get started, please forgive me if I seem to ramble and bounce around a bit.

Next Wednesday the 18th of September, my wife and I will be married for 32 years. I am 58 years old and my wife is 50. The question was recently posed in another forum as to what has made our marriage so happy and successful. As I look back at 3 decades+ it's hard to put a finger on any one particular thing that has been the key. I can however, tell you that everyone we have ever associated with, has always commented that we were the most in love couple that they knew. After 32 years of marriage, our friends and family still tell us to "get a room you two"  We have fought the struggles that many go through and some that most don't, including financial and children in trouble with the law. Through it all, we have always depended on each other, trusted each other and never allowed circumstances to come between us. We have always taken time for one another. Several times per year, we would get the grandparents or close friends, to keep the children for us so that we could escape the stress and realities of life and reconnect with each other. As we have grown older and finally gotten both our children out of college, we have absolutely flourished. No empty nest syndrome here! We almost cheered when the last one headed off to college. We are the very best of friends and spend hours daily talking about whatever crosses our minds. No subject is off limits. We are a Christian couple and while we don't agree with each other on all points of theology, we do respect each other’s' points of view. I still think my wife is the sexiest woman I've ever known and we are sexually intimate 3-4 times weekly, sometimes more. Probably the longest we have ever gone without being intimate is a week or less and that includes two pregnancies. Sexually, we are both what most would call high drive people and the intimacy that brings into our marriage is one of the things that helps keep us connected on both a physical and spiritual level. We are the best of friends, yet we have very few common interests. I am very aggressive and confrontational and she’s the peacemaker who strives to make things right. I am the classic introvert, she the extrovert. I believe we balance each other nicely.

This is his wife talking now: People often ask me, “What makes your marriage so good?” My reply is always the same, “We work at it!” J Marriage, on its best day, is hard, but you REALLY CAN have “heaven on earth!” IF you are WILLING to work at it, and my sweet husband and I are BOTH WILLING to work at it. While riding down the road one day, discussing our marriage and WHY it worked the way that it did, I confessed to my husband that I felt that I “didn’t DO enough for him” to which he replied, “Really? Because I feel as if I don’t DO enough for you!” It was like a light bulb went off in BOTH of our heads! We finally had a small understanding of WHY our marriage works! I want to DO for him-both the big AND the small things and he in turn, wants to do the same for me. We still hold hands while driving down the road, we talk about EVERYTHING and ANYTHING, we “sexy” text and still make out while sitting on the couch. He constantly is hugging me, touching me, giving me little kisses and telling me how absolutely sexy and hot he thinks I am. I don’t walk past him where I’m not touching him in some way-a hand on his shoulder, a kiss on top of his head, a tickle on the bottom of his feet, some how, some way, I am going to have my hands on him in some way. His “love language” is physical touch and quality time. I set my heart and my mind to “fill up” his “love tank” on a daily basis. There is a saying, “Happy Wife, Happy Life” I feel that it should also say, “Happy Husband, Happy Life” as well. We take the time to be together and it does TAKE TIME. We take the time to sit and have coffee in the morning and watch the sun set in the afternoon. There is NOTHING more important than my relationship with him-no job, no child, no after school activity, no friendship, no task. He is always first in my thoughts and in my heart. A lot of people would comment about our “weekend getaways” that we took too many, or left our children too often, but when I look at THEIR marriage now that their children are grown and it is barely breathing at best, then I KNOW that our choices were best. Our children are BOTH college graduates and have successful careers. They are not yet married because they are waiting to find someone that they can have a relationship with “just like you and Daddy” Couples need to understand that one day, their children will grow up and leave home and when they do, all you will have left is each other. So, that should be and ALWAYS should be, the most important relationship that you should work on. J


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## teedaalee

Wow! Thanks for sharing these golden nuggets. So encouraging to hear of a marriage that is thriving .

Teedaalee


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## Almostrecovered

Cmackdaddy said:


> Before I get started, please forgive me if I seem to ramble and bounce around a bit.


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## Yeswecan

:smthumbup:


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## SimplyAmorous

Cmackdaddy said:


> This is his wife talking now: People often ask me, “What makes your marriage so good?” My reply is always the same, “We work at it!” J Marriage, on its best day, is hard, but you REALLY CAN have “heaven on earth!” IF you are WILLING to work at it, and my sweet husband and I are BOTH WILLING to work at it. While riding down the road one day, discussing our marriage and WHY it worked the way that it did,* I confessed to my husband that I felt that I “didn’t DO enough for him” to which he replied, “Really? Because I feel as if I don’t DO enough for you!” It was like a light bulb went off in BOTH of our heads! We finally had a small understanding of WHY our marriage works! I want to DO for him-both the big AND the small things and he in turn, wants to do the same for me.
> 
> **We still hold hands while driving down the road, we talk about EVERYTHING and ANYTHING,* we “sexy” text *and still make out while sitting on the couch. He constantly is hugging me, touching me, giving me little kisses and telling me how absolutely sexy and hot he thinks I am. I don’t walk past him where I’m not touching him in some way-a hand on his shoulder, a kiss on top of his head, a tickle on the bottom of his feet, some how, some way, I am going to have my hands on him in some way. His “love language” is physical touch and quality time. I set my heart and my mind to “fill up” his “love tank” on a daily basis
> 
> *. There is a saying, “Happy Wife, Happy Life” I feel that it should also say, “Happy Husband, Happy Life” as well. We take the time to be together and it does TAKE TIME. We take the time to sit and have coffee in the morning and watch the sun set in the afternoon. There is NOTHING more important than my relationship with him-no job, no child, no after school activity, no friendship, no task. He is always first in my thoughts and in my heart. A lot of people would comment about our “weekend getaways” that we took too many, or left our children too often, but when I look at THEIR marriage now that their children are grown and it is barely breathing at best, then I KNOW that our choices were best. Our children are BOTH college graduates and have successful careers. They are not yet married because they are waiting to find someone that they can have a relationship with “just like you and Daddy” * Couples need to understand that one day, their children will grow up and leave home and when they do, all you will have left is each other. So, that should be and ALWAYS should be, the most important relationship that you should work on. *J


32 yrs :smthumbup:

I relate to SO much of what you have shared here...(it will be 25 yrs for us in a few days)....though I can't say we are looking forward to the empty nest.. (Maybe we are a little odd in this way)... we just enjoy having our house Full... family outings/ throwing partys for our kids..... I'll miss these days!!....

Though I'm not real hands on with them (maybe that doesn't even make sense!)..... it's just their presence in the house, they bring much excitement , always something going on, new adventures to talk about.... their activities get us out of the house even..

But how True....we need to take special time for ourselves.. away from the kids...this is something we neglected for too many years even...we didn't seem to miss it but once we started taking those romantic trips....an overnight here.. another there... it's some of my fondest memories with my husband....we should have been doing that all along.. it's rejuvenating to the connection.....

I liked the part about your saying you feel you could DO more for him...and his feeling he needs to DO more for you.. but yet you're both satisfied..."filled up"..

Very nice how you both shared a paragraph !


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## 20yrsofmarriage

Refreshing. Thanks for sharing. We need more happily married ppl sharing this stuff:smthumbup:


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## anchorwatch

Kudos to you and your DW! 

Nice to see that rumors about LTM not existing might be a bit off. 

Bully!!!


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## Sillyputty

I like what you said about:

"We are a Christian couple and while we don't agree with each other on all points of theology, we do respect each other’s' points of view."

I just started another thread under long term success and we have not been able to respect our theological differences. If you wouldn't mind elaborating on how you reconciled your differences that would be cool. The other thing that intrigues me, how can you feel so connected when you say you don't have that much in common? Once the kids are gone what to heck do you talk about?


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## Rayloveshiswife

My wife and I are on the verge of empty nest right now. Youngest is in college, lives at home, but basically operates on her own unless broke. A few years ago we would be dreading this moment, but today we are rejoicing in it. What's the difference? A few years ago our marriage was shaky at best and the children were a distraction to keep us from being alone together. Now our marriage is stronger than ever and we crave time together alone. Our daughter downtown like it but we often throw her out of the house just so sex eoes not have to be in our room or my wife can be as loud as she wants. 

If your dreading an empty nest, you need to work on your marriage. 

Ray


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## Justus3

Wow! I love hearing happy stories of LTM success. Thanks for sharing


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## Jetoroal

Awesome congrats
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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