# Wow did she notice my 180



## eyesopen (Mar 16, 2012)

My STBX and I have been separated for a little over a year. In the course of this year, a few months after she dropped the bomb (WAW), I started working on myself. Taking self awareness courses, meditation, running, baking, being an amazing dad, etc etc.

Yesterday we were talking (divorce technicalities) and both mentioned how much we don't know each other any more. She said "I don't know who you are, you turned around 180 degrees". She actually said the words 180. I was thrilled for *me* that not only does it feel good but it shows and is acknowledged.

Do the 180 for yourself. Do it without expectation or anticipation (about anything other than yourself). It works, and you will be happy about it.

Peace everyone.


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## Dadwithtwolittlegirls (Jul 23, 2012)

I wish I could... I'm just not that strong.. and it's been 9 months


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## Forever Changed (Sep 18, 2012)

Sad,

I have done it. It's been 9 hellish months.

Hang in there. Keep strong.

STBXW wouldn't care if I lived or died so this is all I could do.

Stick to it, do it for YOU and YOU alone.

Dan


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## arked (Mar 2, 2013)

My WAW left before Christmas I did not find TAM until March. I started the 180, filed for a divorce and went dark. Now all the sudden she has started calling to talk about our grown daughter. I had to tell her our daughter is grown and if she needs to know something call our daughter. The 180 has given me a lot of peace I just do not want her problems in my life anymore. Her and the OM have broken up for the most part and I will not be a plan B for her.


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## Forever Changed (Sep 18, 2012)

Buddy I have gone way, way past the 180 to try to 'win' her back.

I am in the 0% R Club. The 180 has worked absolute wonders.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

The 180 does work. It just means doing the OPPOSITE of what you already do.

Before, when he left the 1st time, I became MORE engaged. MORE available, NICER...etc.

This time, I just am all business. It works. I never contact him and if I do, he texts me back INSTANTLY and tries to keep the convo going (hahahaha that's never happened)...to which I say, "I'm done now with this conversation." 

Brilliant.


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Hmm. l dunno. l've sort of been doing it since day one
my version. We have that much crap to sort though the dark
things pretty well impossible.
Then l was the main one that messed us up and l was
hoping,well on and of between anger at her qitting on
us anyway.
But l've been doing all my stuff since the first wk,
myself as well and really haven't bothered with her
outside of my D and all our lose ends , mess.
Then , because I'd hurt her so much l was pretty confused
about just exactly how to be with her anyway.
We'd also become on and of close again to at different
stages. 
But esch time that's usually ended in some kind of
bang ,om popping up or something ,when l'd thought
he was out of it....shock.
Right through though l have stayed completely out of
her face and often we haven't spoke for a wk or more.

I can say that the dark side of the 180 just seems to
make us drift and her even more out and seeming
of even moreso onto her new life.
Sometimes when my angers kicked in l've been dark
with her for wks on end , it doesn't effect her like it
seems to others though and we actually get worse from
there. Maybe if it went on for mths that my change her
end l don't know.
l see it as probably coming across as an ok he's out
now and l can move on in peace now.
l get the same impression everytime.

l'm not feeling right about being too friendy friendy
anymore though from here which has happened a few
times but lt's just feeling wrong now if she's going on
with om and her plans.
But , again she's drifting further from it and seems colder
and less interested again. That all make it pretty uncomfortable
and sad too actually , trying to work with our mess,my
daughter and stuff.

Don't worry , none of what l just tried to say makes any
sense to me either.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Stretch (Dec 12, 2012)

Hawk, you make a pretty good case that the 180 is about you and not the WS.

The 180 does not make any guarantee for R only a hope that we can each change ourselves so that we can survive and possibly thrive.

Hawk, I hope you are doing well, you seem like you have taken the steps to come out of your ordeal as a better person and a better partner for someone that wants to flourish in the improved you.

Stretch


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Stretch said:


> Hawk, you make a pretty good case that the 180 is about you and not the WS.
> 
> The 180 does not make any guarantee for R only a hope that we can each change ourselves so that we can survive and possibly thrive.
> 
> ...


Hey Stretch and thanks for that. How are you holding
up , hope your ok ?
Lifes moving into new life mode at my end now , ecceptance
and so where to from here. There is some exitement in being
able to choose new horizons and for the first time in a
long time- about ME for once, l must admit.
Gotta find "some" silver lining haven't you hey.
All the best
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

zappy88200 said:


> My situation is so hilarious that I am forced to follow 180 for 180 days because my wife had taken protection orders against me for 6 months (180 days) which will expire on May 9, 2013.
> 
> I guess these orders were a blessing in disguise otherwise I would have never known what self discipline is. The irony of the situation is, Wife would definitely be thinking that I am not contacting her (call, email or communicate) because of the orders against me.
> 
> ...



Sorry to hear that Zappy.
Maybe use the time to heal for awhile , start 
thinking about you for awhile.
Try to find some patience and calm and maybe later 
when the orders up you can start fresh with her and
maybe atleast get your answer then and the peace
to move forward for you , about you , from there.
I needed answers to and when l finally
got them , after much soul searching and
help from people here , it made a massive
difference to my anger, frame of mind and
some peace within which l desperately
needed.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Stretch (Dec 12, 2012)

whitehawk said:


> Hey Stretch and thanks for that. How are you holding
> up , hope your ok ?
> Lifes moving into new life mode at my end now , ecceptance
> and so where to from here. There is some exitement in being
> ...


Hawk, I am doing great and thank you for asking. I never posted my story so I am not sure what folks know or think about my participation here. At any rate, I have a WAW after 22 years and I don't know if there was infidelity and I do not care.

A ton of support from friends and family and the 180 saved my life I know that because I thought for sure I would just drop dead from a heart attack due to the massive stress and crippling pain.

As part of my 180, told the WAW she should see other people if I could not make her happy thinking it might jolt her into rethinking. Don't you know I met a beautiful woman that night and we have been together for six months now.

So here I find myself with a wife and a girlfriend simultaneously, trying to give support to the hurting people on TAM. It is theraputic to help others rather than drowning in a ny sorrows, which I still have. Luckily, I miss the dog a lot more than I miss my WAW.

I don't expect everyone to have a story that plays out like mine, more than most are choosing to not get into relationships for a while. Everyone chooses what is rightfor them.

This going on longer than I intended, but Hawk, I am doing great and I think all of you great people of TAM are truly angels. This would make a great convention with support, success stories, workshops, etc.

I am praying for everyone on TAM, you save people's lives,
Stretch


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

That's great news Stretch you deserve it being left after all those years.
It is a good place here , the people have blown me away more times than I can say.

Your helping even with your story Stretch because I know I and a lot of us just wonder where life can go now so it's damn nice to see some karma come your way.

Enjoy that women :smthumbup:


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