# On my hands & knees..



## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

Here I am, so gladly about to get down with the hubby, rear in the air, mid-day, (a triumph for those that know me and half of me is excited & loving the feeling of his hands on me, etc. That would be my emotional & heart-centered side. 

But then the other half of me, being my irritating mind, is thinking..yikes, he is staring right at my 'you know what,' it's looking him right in the face, hope he's not grossed out, then thoughts of cellulite back there, thoughts of anything that could sabotage the moment. It always happens.

I know I've talked about this before, but I'm trying to explore why I do this. Why can't I just fully, fully be comfortable & happy in those moments? I feel afraid that if I relax too much I become vulnerable- is it a safety net? Like if I think it first, I won't be so surprised if he says something-(not that he ever does..)

I am asking in the men's section because knowing a man's take on the same situation often gives me what info I need to progress to the next level of confidence and gives me insight into new ways of thinking..

Of course it helps knowing that I am not alone & if other women do this or feel this way ever, how do you get a handle on it & just enjoy yourself?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

woohoo! Go mr. Karma!

Good god quit posting about it and let him enjoy your ass! All he wants to do is smack and grab it while he goes to town, the last thing on his mind is your perceived "blemishes".


----------



## Dr. Rockstar (Mar 23, 2011)

I don't like to make sweeping generalizations like this, but there is not a man on earth who is going to have a single thought of looking at his wife's or girlfriend's cellulite.

"Wow... she's really put some weight on back here--Oh, Hey! Vagina!"

I guarantee that there is no man who is committed to his wife that gives a damn about what's back there, unless it's figuring out how to get in.

I know that having these thoughts take over in the middle of sex must be uncomfortable. When I find that my imagination has taken control of my head, I try to replace those thoughts with thoughts that are more productive. In this particular case regarding sex, I would say that in order to deal with your insecurities of how he might see you, you might want to focus on how much pleasure he has being with you, or in his enjoyment of giving you pleasure. Or instead of being distracted by these thoughts, focus on the sheer animal pleasure the act of love-making from your husband gives you.

And by the way, congratulations on the afternoon delight! I just convinced my wife to come home early for a round of snogging before supper.


----------



## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

karma*girl said:


> Here I am, so gladly about to get down with the hubby, rear in the air, mid-day, (a triumph for those that know me and half of me is excited & loving the feeling of his hands on me, etc. That would be my emotional & heart-centered side.
> 
> But then the other half of me, being my irritating mind, is thinking..yikes, he is staring right at my 'you know what,' it's looking him right in the face, hope he's not grossed out, then thoughts of cellulite back there, thoughts of anything that could sabotage the moment. It always happens.
> 
> ...


Don't you find it difficult typing while doing that?

And if I was your hubby I would find it very offputting. FFS ther's a time and a place for TAM you know! 

But seriously KG you think about this too much. Your hubby is probably thinking something along the lines of "Oh yes! You are so going to get ridden hard now!

At least that's what I would be thinking. Err not about you but you know what I mean.


----------



## TrustInUs (Sep 9, 2012)

This is where I'm envy the male mind sometimes regarding sex. I've had similar issues, and I have to tell you sex is sooo much better when you are able to let go of your insecurities. There are times when I would think "I hope I don't look silly in this position or I hope he doesn't notice Such and such."

Whereas my H is really thinking " my favorite position!" 

Anyway your H loves you and is attracted to you, try to rid your mind of those thoughts, he's not thinking them.


----------



## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

You guys are funny- & I knew I'd get some slack, (COguy) but that's okay I project as much confidence as possible in person- it's everyone here that 'sees' my insecurities. 
Oh, I envy the male mind too! I do think far too much, but unproductive thoughts & worse, self-sabotaging ones, for no good reason. It's a nasty habit. 
I'm sure if I could retrain my mind, I would love to not worry about what he's thinking so much & get into what we're doing more!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

I find it amusing that women can complain about how simple men are, yet go on and on imputing all types of complicated thoughts into our heads. Most men are pretty simple when it comes to sex with our wife. We want it and we really don't see all the imperfections that you think you have. No, you are not perfect, but we see you in a much better light than you see yourself.


----------



## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

It's just that you generally won't think the way I do in that 'position,' not that you're simple minded at all, just that you can look past what we get stuck on, I admire that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## east2west (Oct 19, 2012)

You might try some meditation techniques to redirect your attention to more other thoughts.


----------



## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

karma*girl said:


> ...not that you're simple minded at all, just that you can look past what we get stuck on, I admire that.


Heh. In a way, we become simple-minded when faced with what you describe. My inner caveman comes out, all intelligent thoughts leave my brain, and I just go to town.


----------



## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

^^ THAT strikes me as pretty awesome...very good news- I very much enjoy learning things like that!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## homebuilder (Aug 25, 2012)

My wife is like that sometimes.
I promise you something negative is the last thing on a his mind. 
He is not looking at your a$$, he is looking at what it's around


----------



## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Thunderstruck is right

If I have my wife like that the only thing that goes through my mend is WOW!


----------



## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

actually, I just put myself in your shoes. If I had to get on all fours and stick my ass in someone's face I might get a little self-conscious too.


----------



## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

Now, don't you women over-think stuff!


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Those thoughts can dry me up quicker than a Sham-Wow on a puddle of kool-aide. 

Then I remember how he's always saying how much he loves my ass so I shake it and we're good.


----------



## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

Haha...thank you! The things we do for you guys! Actually, once I can chill out mentally I'm certainly not complaining: )
Admittedly, it's definitely for me too..but it's so helpful to know its only my mind that freaks, probably not his!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## KindredKinds (Dec 11, 2012)

I'm not a small girl by any means. But when it comes to this... I LOVE IT!! I can ignore my worries about my body and just have a good damn time. Its my partner who helps with that. My husband isnt big on words, but boy he is big on showing with his body... (amazing I must say) But what matters is when its over and he pulls me close and kisses my head without saying a word. then promptly rolls over and is snoring in 0.2 seconds. As long as you have a good time and (my trick) FOCUS on something, weither its giving him pleasure or zoning in on your own, or kissing that spot on his neck that drives him insane, everything tends to melt away.


----------



## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

Just use a marker and write him a message on your arse(a honey-do list would be funny). That'll keep him distracted enough not to notice too much jiggle.:rofl:


----------



## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

Ha! Yea, no kidding!

Kindred, you're my hero: )
What you wrote was so inspiring & beautiful- I LOVE your confidence..it's actually contagious! (makes me want my hubby to get home so I can try it out on him..and me!)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## KindredKinds (Dec 11, 2012)

To me, its not about confidence in my figure (Well I'm confident he is happy with what he has). Its ALL about confidence in knowing that I know what to do to please my man. I know what makes him tick, what drives him wild, what brings him down, or what makes him laugh. Its all about fun, and being confident that you know how to give as good as you get <3


----------



## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

I wish I only had cellulite to worry about, but I have scars from surgeries all across my hip and thigh. Honestly, if I only focused on what my body looked like I probably would become self-conscious, but I don't do that. When my husband and I are in that moment, I'm not thinking about my own body, I'm thinking about him. I know my husband loves me no matter what, so why worry about what my body looks like right then? I want to focus on my husband and feel that closeness with him. That is so much more important than worrying about what my a$$ looks like.


----------



## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

A couple of scotches beforehand would do the trick.


----------



## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

alte Dame said:


> A couple of scotches beforehand would do the trick.


alte I like the way you think, woman!


----------



## Phenix70 (May 6, 2012)

COguy said:


> actually, I just put myself in your shoes. If I had to get on all fours and stick my ass in someone's face I might get a little self-conscious too.


It can be quite daunting to be in a position like that.
And add in that we can't easily see our SO's facial expressions...
Yeah, it can be tough to just let go at that point & not worry how exactly our asses look at that moment.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I never saw the appeal of the backhole for some reason. Why go there at all when there's a warm hole nearby? :scratchhead:


----------



## caladan (Nov 2, 2012)

Mmmm. Cellulite. I like cellulite.


----------



## caladan (Nov 2, 2012)

RandomDude said:


> I never saw the appeal of the backhole for some reason. Why go there at all when there's a warm hole nearby? :scratchhead:


Hang on - Are we referring to the popular Doggy, or .... backdoor?

I assumed it was the "canine style"


----------



## janesmith (Nov 29, 2010)

when i have a mouth full of c*ck and balls the LAST thing on my husbands mind is how fat my ass is, lmao


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I'm assuming it's the backdoor based on the 2nd post =/

I never really liked doggy much compared to other positions which to me are much more intimate. Only time I prefered doggy was like 8 years ago when I was a playboy with FWBs and I liked their back facing me so I didn't have to see their faces lol. Well it beats the paperbag 

But I guess OP's husband likes it so... I just don't know why, oh well, whatever floats.


----------



## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

Yes, I'm talking about traditional P in V sex, but in that position, (doggy) the other hole is RIGHT there! 
It is kind of bummer that in that position it's pretty hard to see how he's enjoying it..that's when the mirrored closet doors come in handy! 
However I can hear/feel him enjoying me just fine
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Oops, forgive the misunderstanding =/

Well personally for me when I was doing it - as long as I wasn't shoving any of me inside that backdoor - I yet to really pay it any mind. The only thing on my mind was watching her get pounded with her lovely hair everywhere, her soothing moans, her... nevermind! Hell I miss her sometimes

All the while loving her well formed a$$, just not going inside it. Heh, not my thing I guess. There's nothing really to be self-conscious about, and can be a nice change of pacing, especially when you got the house to yourselves.


----------



## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

janesmith said:


> when i have a mouth full of c*ck and balls the LAST thing on my husbands mind is how fat my azz is, lmao


Lady, you have a great way with words.:toast:


----------



## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

Dr. Rockstar said:


> I guarantee that there is no man who is committed to his wife that gives a damn about what's back there, unless it's figuring out how to get in.


We spend a few hours trying get out when we're born...and the rest of our lives trying to get back in.


----------



## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

karma*girl said:


> Yes, I'm talking about traditional P in V sex, but in that position, (doggy) the other hole is RIGHT there!


[/QUOTE] It is kind of bummer... [/QUOTE]

Confusing, but funny.


----------



## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

karma*girl said:


> that's when the mirrored closet doors come in handy!


Wait, that sounds rather confident to me. We have a full length mirror that turns, I want it turned towards us, Mrs P will usually points it at the wall.


----------



## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

I am kind of voyeuristic in that I do like to watch things as they happen..
which I guess is pretty confident..however my mind isn't as confident & keeps me from letting go often : /
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## janesmith (Nov 29, 2010)

thunderstruck said:


> Lady, you have a great way with words.:toast:


lmao, yeah I get that a lot. Thanks:smthumbup:


----------



## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

You have to let it go, stop over thinking things and just go with it. =).


----------



## Ghost88 (Dec 9, 2012)

Yep, we actually like that view (a lot). But that may not help turn off your mind on it. My wife has the same issue, gets in her head and out of the moment. As she has gotten a bit older it has become a lot worse really impacting our sex life. And she is fine with either V or A sex (or was when we had sex) so this is more about her self-image and being in the moment.


----------



## Why Not Be Happy? (Apr 16, 2010)

All he's thinking is "wow, this is awesome!".....


----------



## KindredKinds (Dec 11, 2012)

Why Not Be Happy? said:


> All he's thinking is "wow, this is awesome!".....


You are right about that. I dont know what it is about us women, but our minds intrude in the worst ways at the worst times. Gotta shake it of and go with the flow. Other wise it only gets worse. Say screw it! He wants me how I am, so I'm going to get him better! Have fun, relax, and let nature take its course Dammit! It easy until our brains try to ruin it. Remember "Every woman has a sex goddess inside" Sh1t mine comes out when i shake off the "I'm not perfect" NO ONE IS!!!!


----------

