# Made appt...now im scared sick



## mommyofthree

I finally convinced my H to come to councelling with me.I set up an appt for June 6th.
He was dead set against it because he said he went in last marriage and it was garbage and causes more problems.He also said he just lied when there and said what the therapist wanted to hear.

He finally agreed to go to ONE session.He said if the tharapist was any good they could fix us in one day. <DUH!!!!> kindof feel like im set up for failure because of that thought.

Im nervous now.My stomach is jittery and I think I may throw up....is it normal to feel this way thinking of going to councelling?

I guess the thought never bothered me but now that we have an appt. im scared. What if the therapist says something and things get worse 
What if councelling makes it worse 

OMG!!! I think I should call and cancel....someone hold my hands so I can't. Its for the best right


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## lamaga

Of course you are scared. That's normal.

But you should go. Now, you know nothing will happen in one day, but maybe he can hear that when the therapist says it.

And oh, btw, if one session of counseling can make your problems worse? That's ain't counseling's problem.

Hang in there! Be strong! It's ok to be scared!


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## Mavash.

I was terrified at my first counseling session and at the one after that, and the one after that....

So yes being scared is normal.

I'm with Lamaga that first session is just meet, greet, fill out some paperwork and get some info on what the key issues are. Nobody is magic and marital problems cannot be fixed in an hour. But let the therapist tell your husband that not you. 

Just breathe and you'll be fine. Good luck. I've got 3 years of therapy under my belt now so I'm an old pro. I'm more friends with my therapist than a patient these days. LOL


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## heartsbeating

heartsbeating said:


> I was nervous going for the first time too.
> 
> Then I stepped into the room... and opened up about stuff I never imagined I would. I guess it was a good therapist for me. I guess you can't control how your husband will be. If he's not going to be open, perhaps based on past experiences, then he'll be doing a disservice to both of you. Maybe his lying at the therapist didn't help when going for his previous marriage.
> 
> I don't know what your issues are but maybe your husband can do what is needed from his end from a different approach other than therapy. Nothing wrong with that. If it's working for you though, do what you need to do for you.
> 
> Good luck!


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## mommyofthree

His last marriage ended because she turned out to be a lesbian and did not tell him before the wedding...lol! 
I know its not funny but Im amused when I say it.


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## heartsbeating

mommyofthree said:


> His last marriage ended because she turned out to be a lesbian and did not tell him before the wedding...lol!
> I know its not funny but Im amused when I say it.


okay ...yeah, there's not much he could do from there!

But I'm sure that must have impacted him in a big way.


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## mommyofthree

Hmmm...I never thought of it as an impact on him till you just said it.I guess it probably did.

He told me a story about an ex this weekend that was quite horrific and I know that one would have. You know,there are so many puzzle pieces that make us who we are today and sometimes its hard to see the big picture and know how each one made you the way you are. 

You got me thinking now with that comment....


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## heartsbeating

I think most of us are influenced by our experiences and exposure. We end up defining ourselves through such things. And that definition of self becomes our prison.


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## nice777guy

mommyofthree said:


> His last marriage ended because she turned out to be a lesbian and did not tell him before the wedding...lol!
> I know its not funny but Im amused when I say it.


Then...I'm guessing that no amount of "counseling" would have helped his last marriage.

And unless his Ex ran off with the counselor - I don't see how counseling could have made things worse!!!

Good luck! The first one's usually pretty easy...


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