# Pelvic Floor Problems...Any woman know about this?



## sniper (Dec 5, 2013)

Ok, after 9 months of no sex at all and a pretty much sexless marriage before that my wife finally opened up. I found out that the reason she avoids it isn't because she doesn't want it. It is because it is painful. She said she feels horrible that she can't meet my basic need for sex and she hates it because she wants it too. 

I did some research and found that it may be a problem with the pelvic floor muscles. She seems to meet all the symptoms of having too tense of muscles or something like that. She has always had to strain to go to the bathroom, and gyno exams hurt her as well.

Anyway, is there any woman here who has dealt with this? Would a muscle relaxer help? I just can't believe nothing can be done about the pain.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

She needs to see a doctor.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LadyDee (Oct 1, 2013)

It could be she has vaginismus and like mablenc said, she needs to see a Dr about it.


Causes - Vaginismus.com

Pelvic Floor Dysfunction, Pelvic Muscle Dysfunction, IC and Painful Sex


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## yeah_right (Oct 23, 2013)

There are quite a few women's issues that can cause pain during sex. I had problems with fibroids, heavy bleeding and pain. Needless to say our intimate life suffered for a while. I had a hysterectomy and after my recovery period am feeling like a teenager again. Sex has returned to being fun...and plentiful! 

Guys, your wives don't always feel comfortable sharing this stuff with you. Many women are raised to be ashamed/embarrassed by their bodies, and to put aside their own needs. Please be supportive of them and encourage them to see their GYN and talk openly about their problems.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Don't try to get sex while she's going through this. Imagine if someone could rip a strip of skin off your c0ck head, how that would feel. Your penis would not stay hard and probably retract into your body, right?

Now imagine if during the sex act you had the same pain, with every single thrust... So when they say it "hurts", it means it really hurts and they have to try to concentrate elsewhere ,and it kills any pleasure or desire.

Your wife may have vaginismus, which is an involuntarily tightening of the lower 1/3 of the vagina, to the point where even inserting a tampon or finger is very painful.

Here goes some links:

10 Common Myths About Vaginismus - Vaginismus.com

How long does treatment take? - Vaginismus.com

Vaginismus FAQ — Mount Sinai Hospital


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## ICE09 (Dec 21, 2013)

Hi Sniper,

I have the same condition as your wife and finally after nearly 3 years of painful intercourse I decided to seek help. 

the therapy for this condition is new so doctors may not know about it. Have her look into Pelvic Floor physiotherapy. I started 2 months ago and I think its going well. I have not yet tried intercourse since therapy started but I already feel the difference in the pain decreasing during therapy sessions. Its extremely important not to attempt intercourse during the therapy time.

I still dont know the end results of my physiotherapy but
Im really hoping that by the end of it i will have a normal sex life. 

I hope my post helped. If you have any questions please ask id be more than happy to help other women with the same issue. its frustrating to be experiencing this and not get help.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

Atleast you know she is not avoiding you and your needs on purpose.
She needs to see a doc ASAP, you should go with her to learn and support her.

There are so many things that can help now a days. Don't loose any hope.

Use this time of struggle for the better good in making your marriage stronger, your wife will never forget your understanding and patience.

Good Luck


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## sniper (Dec 5, 2013)

I really wish I knew about what was going on a long time ago. She just never really told me. I am a guy who doesn't read between the lines well either.

So let me tell you guys more about what is going on. I am not going to push the issue of actually having sex. I think that it would be wrong in causing pain like that. So don't worry about that. We have been through a lot together and she is the first to say that I have been good to her (I am glad to be thought of so well in her eyes).

But she has given up hope. She told me that she has looked online and didn't see that anything could be done about her pain. Probably because a lot of the information out there says it is all in a persons head (I noticed that when I looked).

I know she has a gynecologist appointment in a couple of months for an annual. She hasn't had one in years because it hurts too much. But she has to go now because they found a small cist on her ovary and basically they are going to have to make sure it went away from the depo shot they gave and while they are at it they will do an exam.

So when we go how should we bring this up and what questions should I ask (since I think she will not even hint at it or ask anything)? I tend to have to be her voice when it comes to doctors...she gets white coat fear.

Oh and about her symptoms:

When she was a kid she had constipation so bad that she would push all day and sometimes have accidents because when it finally came it was very quick. This lasted for years. and to this day she has to strain while going to the bathroom every time with pain.

She feels a lot of pain when the gynecologist does exams too. Pretty much anything going into her hurts. 

When we do have sexual activity (masturbation) she sometimes hurts from the orgasm.

Does that sound like a pelvic floor problem?

Oh and by the way, thanks for suggesting physiotherapy. I will look into it.

My two main questions for now is:

*How do I help her to have hope and not give up?*

and 

*How do I get her help?*


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