# Don't even know where to start



## moc247 (Feb 8, 2016)

Gosh its been so hard! I am married to the father of my two daughters 10/8 one of whom is disabled. We have been together for 13,year's but married for 4. 

I have always been so proud of the fact that through all the hard times we have remained a family but now I'm struggling to stick it out and sadly a part of me doesn't even want to anymore. I may be married but I feel like a single parent family.

I have a husband who absolutely adore me and when he's participating in life I feel like wow this is the man I fell in love with and it makes me feel guilty for even feeling the way I do.

So here I find myself posting on a forum just to get it out!! It all started 10years ago my daughter was born and she is disabled however she used to go into seizure in her sleep and only in her sleep turn blue and we nearly lost her and after that my husband would stay up all night looking over her and when I woke up in the morning I would take over and he would sleep. When she hit 4years old the seizures stopped thank god!! However 6 years on my husband is up all night and sleeps all day.

He knows I hate it there's no excuse for it I'm sick of ***** footing around him on my couch all day and I'm so embarrassed of him

I will always love him and feel so guilty for feeling like its not worth it but I just had to put it out there.

I've mad several drs appts over the years to no avail he either misses them or gets a leaflet we have tried having him stay up all night and day then go to bes with us but no he still can't do it.
He says he feels like he's dying when he wakes up but 6 years on I'm sick of hearing that if I'm honest.

Just had to let it out, have a wee rant 

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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

So the two of you are on completely opposite schedules. How is your sex life?

Does he work outside the home? Do you? Who is the breadwinner?

I think we need a bit more info.


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## Happilymarried25 (Mar 19, 2014)

He doesn't work? It sounds like he is depressed if he feels like he is dying when he wakes up. This has been on for 6 years but you married him 4 years ago, so why did you get married?


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## moc247 (Feb 8, 2016)

It wasn't as bad as he was working when we got married and only slept the weekend away but hey he deserved it he worked all week but last Xmas he was laid off and yes he's is now on 2 antidepressants x 

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## moc247 (Feb 8, 2016)

happy as a clam said:


> So the two of you are on completely opposite schedules. How is your sex life?
> 
> Does he work outside the home? Do you? Who is the breadwinner?
> 
> I think we need a bit more info.


I'm the bread winner he got laid off last Xmas he's been on any I depressants for 10,years and recently they put him kna second one. Sex maybe twice a year I men sex is great when it happens but I'm just not into it right now because of the situation I think its made it a lot worse 

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