# Men, would you be happy if a woman insisted on paying for herself for all dates?



## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I see this topic came up else where. I am curious, men. Are you happy when the woman insists upon paying? At all times? Or under certain conditions? If soe which conditions are they?


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Can only speak for myself but here is what I do as a progression of dating.

First date I pay but it's never more than a beer or two just to see if we click. No matter how well or bad this "date" goes I Always pay. Always

Second date I like to do something physical like a hike so no money involved.

If we get to third it will usually be dinner at this point, I will pay or split it if she insists. This depends on what my level of interest is at this point. My personal experience has been that if I go for the bill and she insists on paying 1/2 then she isn't interested in me... Just seems to be proven true on a number of occasions .

After that and in relationships I expect to go back and forth on paying. I don't keep a running mental tab of "I paid last time you pay this time". Sometimes it works out I will pay for dinner you get the movie and next time we just swap those. The key is communicating what the expectations are IMHO


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Always pay for women but without showing any uncertainty about it. If they want to split it, agree.

Women want offerings. There is a covert contract but exposing it spoils the atmosphere. If a couple go on enough dates, there should be some kind of connection. Most modern women are interested in sex.


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

I wouldn't be happy at all. I actually embrace the double standards that are applied to men. I feel like its our duty. Just because woman _can_ pay and _can_ protect themselves etc. etc. It doesn't mean they should have to. I got this. Daddy likes to take care of his lady.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

I usually pay and don't mind doing so, but many women I've dated offer to pay half, or pay the tip, or pay the entire bill (especially if I did the prior time). I don't mind paying, but it's a good sign if she sometimes pays or at least offers - it shows she has a sense of fairness and is willing to contribute to a relationship (not just take or be passive). I often find it even more significant if she does so when she can afford less than me but still pays proportional to her ability to do so responsibly.

IMO, there may even be a correlation between this kind of financial give and take and being an active, participative partner in bed.

OP asks about her insisting on paying all the time. That's a special case, and I think it would be a negative, as it would seem she wants to be in control at all times - and perhaps is a controlling person. Or she could be using it as a distancing mechanism for some reason.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

NextTimeAround said:


> I see this topic came up else where. I am curious, men. Are you happy when the woman insists upon paying? At all times? Or under certain conditions? If soe which conditions are they?


At all times = extreme

I would insist of paying every other time (and be firm about that too).

50/50 is great IMO...I like to keep it in that area


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*My rich skanky XW insisted on paying for everything during our dating days! She had lots more "geedas" than I ever did, or ever dreamed of having and she gritched or vociferously complained, even if I occasionally took the liberty of buying her a sandwich at Subway! So I got to the point that I really didn't want to argue with her!

Otherwise, and under normal circumstances, I'd much rather share paying!*


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

NextTimeAround said:


> I see this topic came up else where. I am curious, men. Are you happy when the woman insists upon paying? At all times? Or under certain conditions? If soe which conditions are they?


You mean to pay ALL THE BILL? Or pay her half??

Paying all the bill, all the time ...that's senseless to me.
Plus, it's a turn off when women pay. I mean, she can/should/must pay here and there from time to time...but not every time. [I know I'm not a man and this question is not for me] but I'm just saying what a turn off it is for me (personally) if a guy makes me pay all the bill ...always or most of the times.


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## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

If she were really insistent about it I would prefer taking turns paying the whole check. I don't like the feeling of splitting a check with a date.


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

John Lee said:


> If she were really insistent about it I would prefer taking turns paying the whole check. I don't like the feeling of splitting a check with a date.


Yeah I agree with that. 
Sometimes, splitting is worse than paying the whole check.

haha


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## StayInIt (Jul 27, 2012)

I much prefer to pitch on dates. Why not pool the money and have twice the fun? The first date I had with my husband, he offered to take me to dinner. I countered with buying tickets to the symphony. We did both and that set the tone for the rest of our dating days. We both paid and were able to maximize the good times.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

Any woman who insists on my paying is a money grubber.

Any woman who on HER paying is a feminist and not that interested in me.

This Catch-22 is why I am glad I am married. This is only ONE of the many contradictory and self destructive things running thorough my head...though I bet it's true of more guys who care to admit it.


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

NextTimeAround said:


> I see this topic came up else where. I am curious, men. Are you happy when the woman insists upon paying? At all times? Or under certain conditions? If soe which conditions are they?


I always had a different spin on things. I believe who ever does the inviting should be paying. Now 99% of the time, if a future date was requested, I did the asking, so I would pay almost all of the time.

This stemmed from when I was in college and had $15 for the week and a (wealthy mind you) girl asked "Let me take you out for Chinese". "Okay". The bill comes and I get "so your part is $11.57 and mine is" ...whatever it was. That really set me off because had I known I'd be paying, I would've suggested a different date. Nothing like borrowing money to do laundry. She couldn't understand why I didn't want to go out a second time. I finally told her "Because I can't afford your invitations".


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

JCD said:


> Any woman who insists on my paying is a money grubber.
> 
> Any woman who on HER paying is a feminist and not that interested in me.
> 
> This Catch-22 is why I am glad I am married. This is only ONE of the many contradictory and self destructive things running thorough my head...though I bet it's true of more guys who care to admit it.


I'm not sure if I understand your point. 
Could you elaborate further?


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

Dad&Hubby said:


> I always had a different spin on things. I believe who ever does the inviting should be paying. Now 99% of the time, if a future date was requested, I did the asking, so I would pay almost all of the time.


This is the approach my BF and I use most of the time. If I want to go to a particular concert, I get us tickets and plan on paying for the beer, dinner, parking etc. for the evening. If he is interested in a fundraiser that's going on, he gets the tickets and the other expenses of the evening. For just regular dates, we usually take turns. 

For the most part, I really dislike splitting checks. It's one thing when it's a large group, but when it's just a couple of people it just feels petty and cheap to me. I'd far rather trade off experiences than balance it all to the penny in a long term relationship or friendship.


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

Dad&Hubby said:


> I always had a different spin on things. I believe who ever does the inviting should be paying. Now 99% of the time, if a future date was requested, I did the asking, so I would pay almost all of the time.


This works for me until it is a comitted and exclusive relationship. At that point, if my gf is not offering to pick up the tab at times, I am wondering about her motives.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

ReformedHubby said:


> I wouldn't be happy at all. I actually embrace the double standards that are applied to men. I feel like its our duty. Just because woman _can_ pay and _can_ protect themselves etc. etc. It doesn't mean they should have to. I got this. Daddy likes to take care of his lady.


"Daddy"? You like to be your partner's father figure? That is sort of squicky.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

In the initial stages of dating, I wouldn't offer to pay the bill unless I'd done the inviting (which is highly unlikely). I did, however, used to reciprocate by either inviting the date over for dinner or arranging a picnic.

These days, my SO and I tend to take it turns to pay for outings, but we would never have dreamed of 'splitting the bill.' For me that's a little tacky and I would rather pick up the whole tab myself.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

If I found myself single again, I would be interested in meeting all sorts of men in a short amount of time -because trying to find the type of man that would work for me would not be easy at all... most would be taken & married so I'd be half screwed anyway...

I do not do casual sex..which the word "FUN" = on dating profiles... and most expect this as the norm...so for this reason , when I met someone, I would only want it to be like meeting a friend.. to see what we had in common...ya know...a lunch out to see if any spark is there, some compatibility ... not even sure it could be considered a date.. 

*And I WOULD insist on paying for myself.. UNTIL I felt we were an item...so there would be no hard feelings if it didn't work out*... 

This would be my approach, maybe it sounds weird as I appreciate the more older fashioned man who would pick up the tab ...but this is a new world with NEW RULES...and I would not feel right getting many free meals from men I may not want to see a second or 3rd time...because all they were looking for is a casual lay...and not a long lasting relationship.. (I suppose this could be established before meeting.. I don't know)... 

I would feel like I was USING THEM if I let them all pay for me...then I didn't want to see them again.. 

I would have no trouble articulating how I felt before we met ... who knows maybe that would be a breath of fresh air, or he'd think I am really odd !


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

I like to pay my half so the guy understands that I enjoy spending time with him and value his company, not his wallet. Once we get to know each other and if we are going out again, then I'll swap off, if I invite then it's on me, if he invites it's on him, or we do the split thing check and tip, dinner and movie, etc.

I like if the guy offers to pay 100% but I don't like if he doesn't let me chip in, because I'm sensitive to being the kind of woman who is just dating for free meal or to find a guy to take care of her.

If I really don't like a guy much and he goes for the check and tip, I always say thank you and don't put up a struggle. :-| 

Or, if it's my boss or a friend I know has a lot more money than me, and it's offered, then I accept too. Because they know me, and I really like it, especially if a meal is their way of showing how much they appreciate me. (I like good food!)

I pay for plenty of my friends too, when I have a chance. So that's a goes-around comes-around kind of thing.

My boss-colleague though insists on taking me to lunch, he drives, opens doors, takes care of my coat. I'm a real sucker when it comes to that. I'm spoiled at work, and probably should be. For the record, I've had female bosses who also spoiled me, and other male bosses/clients in the past who spoiled me too, especially for jobs well done. So, I'm used to that. But never expect it.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Before marriage , my wife paid for almost all of our dates.
She spoiled me rotten with attention and lavished me with gifts.

Since we've been married , I now pay for all of our dates , and she loves to eat at fancy, pricey restaurants.

Does that count as splitting the bill 50/50 ?

Anyway, 
I like the idea of an independent woman , who although she can provide and take care of herself, is confident enough to allow her man to do for her what he desires to do
That is, take care of all her wants and needs.

I found that woman in my wife, and I have absolutely no problem paying for all our dates.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

lovelygirl said:


> I'm not sure if I understand your point.
> Could you elaborate further?


I am actually having a bit of fun. I see posts about 'gold digger' women written by men and I see men who are totally turned off by a woman who prefers to keep her independence by making blatant symbolic gestures with the check.

I think in the rough and rumble world of dating, there is no easy or 'right' answer because men look out for both types of extreme behavior. 

You can't pigeon hole men this way any more than women, unfortunately, so the question is flawed to begin with.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

Caribbean Man said:


> Before marriage , my wife paid for almost all of our dates.
> She spoiled me rotten with attention and lavished me with gifts.
> 
> Since we've been married , I now pay for all of our dates , and she loves to eat at fancy, pricey restaurants.
> ...


Allowing your man to pay for you, doesn't mean you expect free meal or any mentality of the sort.

Being an independent woman and having your man pay for your dates are two different things. 
I think it comes down to mentality. 
Over here in Albania, no woman would pay for most of the dates lol.
If she did, her man would be seen as cheap and miser.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

My first gf was like this, it was indeed a distancing mechanism and a way to make her feel that she's in control and not under the influence of others nor to owe anything. But that was just HER.

Didn't mind it really, prefered it to a woman who just takes takes takes all the time.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I go with the whoever does the asking out pays. 

If a guy expected me to pay half the bill every time I went out with him I just would not go out with him.

Instead I like the idea of each of us thinking of ways that we can spoil and treat each other. That sounds fun to me.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

NextTimeAround said:


> I see this topic came up else where. I am curious, men. Are you happy when the woman insists upon paying? At all times? Or under certain conditions? If soe which conditions are they?


No but not for typical reasons.

Doing something like this in a steady relationship at the very least borderlines on some type of emotional/mental problem/insecurity.

I don't usually deal well with that.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

ReformedHubby said:


> Daddy likes to take care of his lady.


That's the creepiest thing I have ever read in this forum.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

tacoma said:


> That's the creepiest thing I have ever read in this forum.


I understand where Reformed is coming from although I can see where it might be misunderstood. But if you familiar with his posts I think you would know that he does not come across as "creepy". Personally I find people talking about doing 3-somes a lot more creepy than what he said. To each his own I guess.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

If I go on a date with a man, I always offer to split. Most of the men I have dated say NO and they pay. 

Went out with a man who insisted on paying for it all. Then we went out for drinks elsewhere and I got us a round. He still did not want me to pay though. But I did cause it was our 2nd or third time out and he'd been paying for it all. He'd been taking me to really fancy places (which I love so I wasn't complaining at his choices  ). Then I invited him over and cooked him dinner with some dessert.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

tacoma said:


> That's the creepiest thing I have ever read in this forum.


Really? I have seen much creepier things in SIM. I don't think he meant it in an incestuous way.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Jellybeans said:


> If I go on a date with a man, I always offer to split. Most of the men I have dated say NO and they pay.
> 
> Went out with a man who insisted on paying for it all. Then we went out for drinks elsewhere and I got us a round. He still did not want me to pay though. But I did cause it was our 2nd or third time out and he'd been paying for it all. He'd been taking me to really fancy places (which I love so I wasn't complaining at his choices  ). Then I invited him over and cooked him dinner with some dessert.


Was dessert Jellybeans? 

See what I did there


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Dessert was very sweet.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> Dessert was very sweet.


Sounds like dessert included some multicolored confectionery called _Jellybeans?_


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Dh said he doesn't care who pays.He said it doesn't make him happy or unhappy bc he never really thought about it in terms of feelings.It just is.Either he paid,the girl paid,or they split it.


I personally cared who payed bc I don't let anyone pay my way for me.When Dh and I dated,I always insisted on splitting the check.Unless we went to an expensive restaurant that I chose...in the case I always paid for every thing bc I wanted to.


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## CharlotteMcdougall (Mar 15, 2014)

My husband is old fashioned. When we were dating he rarely let me pay for ANYTHING. I always wanted to pay my share or at least pay for the parking or tip.

I can remember one of our early dates when I tried to pay for myself. He gave my hand a light little slap and grabbed the bill. My husband told said that he loved treating me, so I needed to graciously accept it.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

CharlotteMcdougall said:


> My husband is old fashioned. When we were dating he rarely let me pay for ANYTHING. I always wanted to pay my share or at least pay for the parking or tip.
> 
> I can remember one of our early dates when I tried to pay for myself. He gave my hand a light little slap and grabbed the bill. My husband told said that he loved treating me, so I needed to graciously accept it.


This is one of those 'you had to be there moments' or 'personal psychological quirk' moments because I can see someone taking that the way wrong way.


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## CharlotteMcdougall (Mar 15, 2014)

JCD said:


> This is one of those 'you had to be there moments' or 'personal psychological quirk' moments because *I can see someone taking that the way wrong way*.


:scratchhead: Are you trying to say that you can see someone taking my husband's reaction the wrong way? Just trying to understand because you said "I can see someone taking that the way the wrong way." I don't know what that means....

I wouldn't move my hand off of the billfold and my husband wanted to pay, so he gave me that sweet little smack. I found it playful and funny. 

After dating men who grumbled about the gas money it took to pick me up, my husband was a welcome change. I think he let me pay for dinner ONCE that summer. My husband still doesn't like me paying for dates now, though I will insist on taking him out sometimes because he is so generous. If we take a romantic getaway, he will pay for the hotel and I will pay for breakfast or at least part of our romantic dinners.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

CharlotteMcdougall said:


> :scratchhead: Are you trying to say that you can see someone taking my husband's reaction the wrong way? Just trying to understand because you said "I can see someone taking that the way the wrong way." I don't know what that means....
> 
> I wouldn't move my hand off of the billfold and my husband wanted to pay, so he gave me that sweet little smack. I found it playful and funny.
> 
> After dating men who grumbled about the gas money it took to pick me up, my husband was a welcome change. I think he let me pay for dinner ONCE that summer. My husband still doesn't like me paying for dates now, though I will insist on taking him out sometimes because he is so generous. If we take a romantic getaway, he will pay for the hotel and I will pay for breakfast or at least part of our romantic dinners.


It is more the slap then the attitude. I can see other women taking that the wrong way.

Heck, after frustrating me for 10 minutes about this stupid purchasing decision, I told my wife I was going to beat her. She rolled her eyes, my sister found it funny...and this strange woman in the store looked at me like I was a serial abuser.

Like I said: personal.


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## Trickster (Nov 19, 2011)

Back in my dating days, I would always pay for the first date... If she insisted on paying her half, I would let her leave the tip and tell her she can pay for the next date...with that I was able to see if she was a generous tipper... Usually I leave a large tip...

Back then, they would just want me to come to their place and there was no actual money spent on future dates... It was just getting together for fun..

When my wife and I dated, I ALWAYS paid...That set the tone for the next 22 years...

I would love it if the woman paid for the dates. I wouldn't mind if she was my sugar momma...

On the other hand... If she paid her half, she wouldn't feel obligated to have sex afterwards... She will do so because she may want to to know she is having sex because she wants too and not out of obligation because you paid for the date...It has been a while so ce I dated, so I may not know the world of dating anymore...


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

CharlotteMcdougall said:


> After dating men who grumbled about the gas money it took to pick me up, my husband was a welcome change. I think he let me pay for dinner ONCE that summer. My husband still doesn't like me paying for dates now, though I will insist on taking him out sometimes because he is so generous. If we take a romantic getaway, he will pay for the hotel and I will pay for breakfast or at least part of our romantic dinners.


This brings back memories of something weird I saw back when the gas prices first begin to spike. There was a man in the club whose whole strategy at closing time was to offer to buy gas for women he was trying to pick up. Most looked at him weird, but eventually he found a taker. I honestly was afraid for her safety when she left with him.


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## theroad (Feb 20, 2012)

ReformedHubby said:


> I wouldn't be happy at all. I actually embrace the double standards that are applied to men. I feel like its our duty. Just because woman _can_ pay and _can_ protect themselves etc. etc. It doesn't mean they should have to. I got this. Daddy likes to take care of his lady.


Dating is courting. Courting is showing interest and willingness to provide for your wife when you get one.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

NextTimeAround said:


> I see this topic came up else where. I am curious, men. Are you happy when the woman insists upon paying? At all times? Or under certain conditions? If soe which conditions are they?



That's a great question. 

For myself, when I first started dating Mrs.Cuddle, I called her and setup the dates and I paid for everything. To me, that's being a gentleman and taking care of my wifee to be. Then after we got married, its more 50 / 50 now. Sometimes she treats me and sometimes I treat her and bills are 50 / 50 based on our incomes. Call me old fashioned, but a man taking care of his woman I love to do. I would not of liked it if she paid for everything while we were dating. I would feel not like a man, more like a pampered prince and not a provider, a joke. That's my 2 cents. But now that's we're married, both work full time jobs, etc., sometimes I pay for surprises and treats and sometimes she does for me.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

My H paid for every date while we were dating except times when I took him out for his birthday. I offered to pay sometimes but he always said he didn't want me to. Our dating was mostly movies, clubs, dinner in mainstream chain restaurants (Red Lobster, Outback, Cheese Cake Factory), and a couple of fancy places for my birthday. We did a few expensive concerts but he still bought the tickets for that also. I was young then so I pretty much let him take the lead on everything we did, including who paid for the dates. 

Last night we had our first date night since I was 8 months pregnant with our 6-month old! He set up the date, arranged for my niece to babysit and picked the place (fancy). When the check came I whipped out my wallet and paid for it out of my saved up spending money (I'm a SAHM but we both get spending money). It took him completely by surprise. He just laughed and said "gone with yo bad self girl"!


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## lookinforhelpandhope (Apr 10, 2013)

As a woman, when I was dating, I always offered to pay for something. If a man wants to pay for dinner, movie, wahtever then I think that's a really nice gesture and it's kind of impolite to say no however, I would at least offer or buy a drink or two after.


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

NextTimeAround said:


> I see this topic came up else where. I am curious, men. Are you happy when the woman insists upon paying? At all times? Or under certain conditions? If soe which conditions are they?


In my case paying for our date makes me feel in control and more secure when taking actions of what I want us to do, and I can even push with more security, in the other hand if a woman suddendly invites me to do something and she pays it make me see her in a better light (like my GF did in some of our dates).

I preferer this system (in which of coruse 80 - 90 % of the dates I pay) than she paying her own share, now is different of course but we are talking here in the dating period of the beginning of the relationship.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

CharlotteMcdougall said:


> My husband is old fashioned. When we were dating he rarely let me pay for ANYTHING. I always wanted to pay my share or at least pay for the parking or tip.
> 
> I can remember one of our early dates when I tried to pay for myself. He gave my hand a light little slap and grabbed the bill. My husband told said that he loved treating me, so I needed to graciously accept it.


My husband was the same, loved him for it .... I just think today, most men expect sex for a meal and it wouldn't be happening with me.. not till I knew we "FIT" and were exclusive.. so in today's world, all kinds of *expectations* can be misunderstood .... so better to pay your own way.. till you figure it all out.. that's just how I see it...

If the majority of men had this old fashioned mindset .. and treated a woman like a Lady - taking time for the emotional ...caring about the strings..seeking a long term relationship and women didn't date other men like flies..then I'd have a different answer...

But that's the reality we live in ..in this "hooking up" society..


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

SimplyAmorous said:


> My husband was the same, loved him for it .... I just think today, most men expect sex for a meal and it wouldn't be happening with me.. not till I knew we "FIT" and were exclusive.. so in today's world, all kinds of *expectations* can be misunderstood .... so better to pay your own way.. till you figure it all out.. that's just how I see it...
> 
> If the majority of men had this old fashioned mindset .. and treated a woman like a Lady - taking time for the emotional ...caring about the strings..seeking a long term relationship and women didn't date other men like flies..then I'd have a different answer...
> *
> But that's the reality we live in ..in this "hooking up" society..*





Couldn't agree more. In my opinion dating in society has not changed for the better. Somewhere along the line things have been skewed and honestly I put a lot of that on online dating.

I never believed that a woman would use a date and fake interest in someone just to get a free meal till it happened to me. After that I set up boundaries on what I was comfortable with including no dinner, rare exceptions, on the first date. Paying for anything more than a couple a beers on first few dates is going to be really rare for me because I'm not interested in financing someone else's good time .

But if I am honest I would rather have dated in a time when it wasn't just this hookup culture and everyone wasn't just looking for the BBD (bigger better deal). Seems like a better time to me.


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## theroad (Feb 20, 2012)

The Bee-Itches are not obligated to put out because the man pays for the date.

Any male to say, suggest, hint, or to simply imply this to his date is not a man.


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

Wolf1974 said:


> [/B]
> 
> I never believed that a woman would use a date and fake interest in someone just to get a free meal till it happened to me.


 

I can't believe some women are like this!

Why would a meal make a big difference in their life?
It's just a meal after all, it lasts only 2 hours. It's not a life-time chancing event. 

Seriously, it goes beyond my perception.


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## sammy3 (Jun 5, 2011)

Gosh, my gf is dating and has told me of dates that she has offered to pay her share, and the guy has taken it, put it in his pocket, then taken his cc out and paid the the bill in full on his card. Granted she feels, once the money is handed over its his to do as he pleases, but she finds it unsettling ... I dunno 

~sammy


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## struggle (May 13, 2013)

lovelygirl said:


> I can't believe some women are like this!
> 
> Why would a meal make a big difference in their life?
> It's just a meal after all, it lasts only 2 hours. It's not a life-time chancing event.
> ...


I know someone that went through a period like that. She was new in town and looking for love so she was going on a date or two every weekend. Free meals all the time. I remember laughing with her about all the restaurant food she was getting.

She was looking for a relationship though, she was just in search mode. She did eventually find someone, she's in a relationship now.

I don't know about women who would just do that for no reason though, just to get free meals. That's not nice!


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

lovelygirl said:


> I can't believe some women are like this!
> 
> Why would a meal make a big difference in their life?
> It's just a meal after all, it lasts only 2 hours. It's not a life-time chancing event.
> ...


Not all of them are. I would honestly say few of them are. But when you first meet someone you really can't tell their character so I have found it's easier to keep the first few dates inexpensive and casual


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

NostalgicOne said:


> I am old fashioned and expect a man to pay if he asks me out. In a relationship now that he passively will NOT buy groceries so I don't eat about 3 days a week much or if at all. Wasn't like this when dating. Shoulda never moved in at his request. Its a deal breaker.


Why don't you buy the groceries?


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

sammy3 said:


> Gosh, my gf is dating and has told me of dates that she has offered to pay her share, and the guy has taken it, put it in his pocket, then taken his cc out and paid the the bill in full on his card. Granted she feels, once the money is handed over its his to do as he pleases, but she finds it unsettling ... I dunno
> 
> ~sammy


Yeah, rationally there's nothing wrong with that but the visual image of it makes me feel weird about it too.

Funny how our minds work.

If a girl wanted to pay half and I was putting it on a card I'd probably just tell her "I'm just going to put it on my card, you can pick up the drinks at the next stop if you like "

If there was a next stop anyway.


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