# If you are married to a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who...



## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife.
Ann Landers (fictional advice columnist) 

I saw this quote in an answer in someone's thread and thought it was brilliant and deserves to be shared, so I looked it up. Here is the link to some more quotes by Ann Landers, which are just great!:

Ann Landers Quotes - BrainyQuote


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

Remains said:


> If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife.
> Ann Landers (fictional advice columnist)
> 
> I saw this quote in an answer in someone's thread and thought it was brilliant and deserves to be shared, so I looked it up. Here is the link to some more quotes by Ann Landers, which are just great!:
> ...


yep it works both ways.


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

Remains said:


> If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife.
> Ann Landers (fictional advice columnist)
> 
> I saw this quote in an answer in someone's thread and thought it was brilliant and deserves to be shared, so I looked it up. Here is the link to some more quotes by Ann Landers, which are just great!:
> ...


Remains:

Thank you for finding the author of that quote. I, too, think it's brilliant but never realized it came from Ann landers. 

That is one reason I finally decided to divorce my cheating spouse. 

I woke up one day and realized I will always be married to a man who cheats on his wife, and that will never change. 

I could not live with the indisputable doubt and suspicion learning definitively of his one affair and suspecting others throughout our marriage had instilled in me. 

I really have to thank the experienced TAM posters too for opening my eyes to all the red flags of a cheating spouse. 

The red flags were there all the time, but I was just so naive and unaware and cheating was so far from my own mind that I was blinded.


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## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

Ah Sara, it was you that quoted it! I was trying to find it again this morning as I thought it was so good but couldn't quite remember it, and couldn't remember who'd posted it. Many wise words have cone from you, including these! Thankyou.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Remains said:


> If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife.
> Ann Landers (fictional advice columnist)
> 
> I saw this quote in an answer in someone's thread and thought it was brilliant and deserves to be shared, so I looked it up. Here is the link to some more quotes by Ann Landers, which are just great!:
> ...


And you'll be married to a person who probably has a number of reasons why they cheated, which means they believe in reasons for cheating.


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## jh52 (Apr 29, 2012)

Sara8 said:


> Remains:
> 
> Thank you for finding the author of that quote. I, too, think it's brilliant but never realized it came from Ann landers.
> 
> ...


Hi Sara -- sounds like you made the decision.

Wishing you the best --- and I am sure you know it won't be easy for a while -- but the TAM family is here.

Someone else who just divorced her cheating husband is Vi_bride04 -- maybe give her thread a read over a bottle of wine.

Take care !!


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

jh52 said:


> Hi Sara -- sounds like you made the decision.
> 
> Wishing you the best --- and I am sure you know it won't be easy for a while -- but the TAM family is here.
> 
> ...


Thank you so much, JH.


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## rdee30 (Sep 10, 2012)

Um! While it's true that when and man cheats he becomes a cheat. However, some of them can change. Marriage doesn't stop men from cheating as they have to grow up and accept the fact that they are married and cheating must stop, or never occured in the first place. It doesn't mean they don't love you unless they are a real jerk. They are struggling within themselves learning how to love and be trusted. There are very few men who really can just get married and never look at or cheat on their spouse. Women are a man's center of attraction. They have to learn how to control it. If they have a good supportive wife who shows him better then he will start to show less interest in cheating and wondering as his focus will start to be on you now.


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## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

rdee30 said:


> Um! While it's true that when and man cheats he becomes a cheat. However, some of them can change. Marriage doesn't stop men from cheating as they have to grow up and accept the fact that they are married and cheating must stop, or never occured in the first place. It doesn't mean they don't love you unless they are a real jerk. They are struggling within themselves learning how to love and be trusted. There are very few men who really can just get married and never look at or cheat on their spouse. Women are a man's center of attraction. They have to learn how to control it. If they have a good supportive wife who shows him better then he will start to show less interest in cheating and wondering as his focus will start to be on you now.


I think this quote (it's how I interpret it anyway) is more to do with seeing a married man, he leaves his wife for you, you marry him.

Hence, marrying a man who cheats on his wife.

Staying with a man who cheated on you and trying to work it out is quite different imo.


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## vi_bride04 (Mar 28, 2012)

Cosmos said:


> And you'll be married to a person who probably has a number of reasons why they cheated, which means they believe in reasons for cheating.


Yup. The reasons STBXH gave me for wanting to leave his first wife are alot of the same reasons he is saying he doesn't want to be married to me or work on the marriage anymore. 



jh52 said:


> Hi Sara -- sounds like you made the decision.
> 
> Wishing you the best --- and I am sure you know it won't be easy for a while -- but the TAM family is here.
> 
> ...


Yes, I was the OW for my STBXH when he left his first wife. This quote could not be more true. 

I was young and naive and thought he would never do something like that to me. Uh huh. 

Live and learn....and I've learned ALOT.


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## jlc29316 (Feb 28, 2013)

If a man has relations with a married woman, he'll never respect her as a woman and do the same to her.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

what does Dear Abby say?


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