# First Step



## oviid (Sep 27, 2013)

Today I had an appointment with my attorney, the first or many I am sure. Driving there I felt so nervous but I handled it well. I brought along financial information etc. but not everything needed so I will go back in a week or so.

As with any attorney he's preparing me for the worst but we are expecting the best. As of right now things are going smoothly but there still the question of custody. I know my stbx wants custody and for the kids to be home with her during the school week and sleeping in bed in this house. That would mean I would have then like every other weekend or something which I am not ok with really. There are details to iron out about that but I just hope it's not a process that involves the lawyers too much. The sooner we can agree the better off. 

Right now I don't feel so sad but I know that can change quickly. I feel alright as if a cloud has lifted if even for a moment.


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## KNIFE IN THE HEART (Oct 20, 2011)

Best wishes oviid. Do you live in the same school district as your stbxw? If yes, then maybe you can work out an arrangement of alternate weeks or something. In my jurisdiction, dads are getting a lot more rights when it comes to child custody. It's nice to see.


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## oviid (Sep 27, 2013)

I'm still in the house but when I move it will be in the same school district, already decided that. As for the week on week off thing. I would love that but would that be the best thing for my four kids? I can't honestly say I feel it is. I want this divorce to be as easy on them as possible and pulling them out of their house every other week to me seems like a major disruption. 

Sure I will have them sometimes but not that often. Really the thought of not being with them each day is almost unbearable but I absolutely have to do what's right for them and put my feelings second to their best interest.


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## KNIFE IN THE HEART (Oct 20, 2011)

Wow, what a great dad you are to put their needs first! There's a lot of parents who don't think that way. Give yourself a pat on the back. 

I think that as long as you are putting their needs first, you will make the right decision. Can you Skype with them daily? Even if it's just to say "Goodnight" at least you will have daily contact.


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## oviid (Sep 27, 2013)

SKYPE is a great idea! I didn't think about that but absolutely I will do that, thank you. I actually looked into a place in the same school district around two miles away. I want to be close enough so that they can come over whenever they want to for now while they are in school.


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## Morgiana (Oct 18, 2011)

Yes, changing houses can be disruptive, if you make it. Before I split from my spouse, we had two houses in different states in the US; and the kids had their own rooms in each. Right now we have 3 house between the two of us; but I believe that home is where the family/heart is, so as long as they have a roof over their heads, and their needs are provided for at both houses, it's only if you make an issue of it will it not work.


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