# My wife and I



## Douglas Zelkowski

Hi, my wife and I have been married for 6 years 11 months and 29 days. It is close to 7 years. We have 3 beautiful sons ages 5,3 and 1. My wife and I meet while we were in the military and only knew eachother for 4 months prior to marriage. We have always fought and never truly had any real click i guess is the word. About four months into our marriage I started a down slide which had followed me until last year. In those years I emotionally cheated on my wife 5 times in as many years. I told people i believed she had cheated on me and my children were not mine. I lied about her actions alot. I was a very angry person, I could switch like a light and just start yelling and then blank i would shut her out. She told me many times she wanted a divorce but she never filed or anything and we kept having kids. At one point we had only had sex twice in 18 months and wham she got pregnant with my second son. I was angry because i felt she was only using me to become pregnant. 38 days ago she came to me and said i was a bad father and husband and my children were afraid of me. She wanted out. I had never herd I was a bad father before...... This time a light switch flipped and emmotions i had never felt before came to me. I felt alive, ashamed and scared. I did not want to lose her. I asked her for three months to prove i could change she agreed. But she didnt see she had a FRIEND (WHom i dont believe was just a friend) But that truly doesnt matter. She went away on business and didnt call nor let me know she was ok and after 4 hrs i called the police in the areas where she could be to ensure her safety. She was found in a motel with another man. She admited to having sex with him, Which hurt alot because she never really wanted sex with me at all. Then a few days after she was still texting him.. After this she told me she has no feeling and she is depressed and she doesnt love me.. so i have been doing all that i can. to show her i changed.. I now Clean, cook, take care of kids, even so far as to do her homework so she can rest. she doesnt believe i can change and she thinks i am just trapping her. I am so much in love with her now though and i want to help her.. My main question is can someone regain LOVE.. how can I help my spouse with this..... Anything would be greatly used. thanks


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## This is me

MC? I think the first thing you need to do is find a very good MC that you both can agree with. Get referrals if possible, then interview and you have to both agree on the one you choose.

Sounds like her trust with you will take more than 3 months. 

There is hope, but it sounds like it will take many months maybe years. You both have to want it and be willing with the patience requires.

Read Divorce Busting. Best wishes to you!


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## Douglas Zelkowski

Thank you... I just hope she gives me the time to show her i have and am going to be there for her.... I will have to pick up that book.....


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## daisygirl 41

Hello and welcome
Sorry to hear about your situation.
If you repost in the coping with infidelity forum you will get a lot more response and Advice there.
Good luck to you!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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