# My gal does not sleep at home every night!



## thugkitty (Jan 20, 2017)

My and my gal just moved out with each other, for a while that's all we talked about, but she does not sleep at "our place every night". This really pisses my off to the point to were I want to end the hole relationship. It pisses me off so much it's hard for me to get and erectioj now everytime we have sex. We talked about why she does not stay at home every night, I disagree with it but I understand why. I don't ask her to do a lot but be herself and do what makes her happy. I cook clean, do her car repairs do laundry. I work 40+ hrs a week and I still make time to come home ect ect.

My job allows me to not to ever come home, only for vehicle maintenance, I thought about exploring this but I think I will only be spiteful, I know I can be self center and intend to push people away when things don't go may way. But I've managed to control this with intersection work.

What should I do? I've had it up to hear and I'm very close to doing things my way!


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Need to know just a little more about your relationship logistics, i.e. Ages, married/unmarried, years together, occupations, children, et.al.*


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## thugkitty (Jan 20, 2017)

We talk about just everything, I'm 25 and she's 22, we are unmarried and we have been with each other for one year, I'm a private contractor and she works your average job working 24 to 40 hrs a week. And we have no kids.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

thugkitty said:


> We talk about just everything, I'm 25 and she's 22, we are unmarried and we have been with each other for one year, I'm a private contractor and she works your average job working 24 to 40 hrs a week. And we have no kids.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


*And as such, you both have your own separate homes/domiciles?*


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## thugkitty (Jan 20, 2017)

arbitrator said:


> *And as such, you both have your own separate homes/domiciles?*




At this point I have one, and that's "our place". But at this point in time she has 3. 


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

thugkitty said:


> At this point I have one, and that's "our place". But at this point in time she has 3.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


*Exactly how would you describe that arrangement? A house, apartments, with parents, friends, et.al.?*


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## thugkitty (Jan 20, 2017)

arbitrator said:


> *Exactly how would you describe that arrangement? A house, apartments, with parents, friends, et.al.?*




We have a roommate, he owns the house but we rent a room.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

thugkitty said:


> We have a roommate, he owns the house but we rent a room.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


*When she isn't staying there with you, what other places might she be staying?

If so, do you ever stay at any of "her residences?"*


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## Sparta (Sep 4, 2014)

OP Buddy if we going to able to help you out, you have got to give us the whole story...sounds like you're pretty upset right now. You need to write out the whole story and honestly. Then can help you out


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

thugkitty said:


> We have a roommate, he owns the house but we rent a room.


Ugh.

It sounds a bit like a frat house. Renting a "room' I would imagine *also *means sharing the kitchen and bathroom and common living spaces with your roommate/landlord. 

I wouldn't want those living arrangements either. I think she discovered it sucks monkey butt having to live like that and she doesn't want to do it every day.

If you two youngin's can't do it the right way - having your own place and your own privacy - then don't do it all.


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

Well, you guys aren't really living together, even if she's there every night. It's not your place, and it's even less 'her' place. It's not ideal for you, but I can kind of see where she'd be coming from.

My wife didn't move in with me until we had our own place. When we started dating, I already had a house, lived alone, and had more than enough space. But had she moved in, it wouldn't have felt like 'our' place, let alone hers.

Your current arrangement, it's not even 'your' place, it's somebody else's. If she already has her own place (which may even be shared with somebody else), then that is what feels like home - not living with her boyfriend in your buddy's house.


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## thugkitty (Jan 20, 2017)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Ugh.
> 
> It sounds a bit like a frat house. Renting a "room' I would imagine *also *means sharing the kitchen and bathroom and common living spaces with your roommate/landlord.
> 
> ...




No frat house over here, all of us respects the living arrangements, there is no parting, no drugs, everybody does there part around the house, my last living arrangements were not ideal for me nor her. 


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Where does she stay when she doesn't stay with you?


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## thugkitty (Jan 20, 2017)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Ugh.
> 
> It sounds a bit like a frat house. Renting a "room' I would imagine *also *means sharing the kitchen and bathroom and common living spaces with your roommate/landlord.
> 
> ...




I'm in the process of buying some land, we can afford to get our own place we thought it be best if we helped someone else payoff there mortgage.


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## thugkitty (Jan 20, 2017)

Hope1964 said:


> Where does she stay when she doesn't stay with you?




With her cousin or her with a woman she calls momma.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Is her cousin male or female? What kind of living arrangements do the cousin and the momma have? What exactly is the relationship with this 'momma'?


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

Dude you're trickling the story in one post at a time. Tell us what's going on. Why are you upset? Is she sleeping around with a bunch of other guys? Are these other places safe for your relationship? Why does she stay there? Why doesn't she like your place?

If you hang out in common living areas and you just rent a room then you're not asking her to move in with YOU you're asking her to move in with several people. Not nearly the same. If you just hang out in your room that's even worse - that's not something I'd consider a place for two.

I don't blame her at all, and frankly if you dump her and get a girl who would like this arrangement, she might not be a good partner in other ways - she might be a bit too "free spirited" ("more flexible", "less constrained", etc as in you might be joining the infidelity boards here later).


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## thugkitty (Jan 20, 2017)

TheTruthHurts said:


> Dude you're trickling the story in one post at a time. Tell us what's going on. Why are you upset? Is she sleeping around with a bunch of other guys? Are these other places safe for your relationship? Why does she stay there? Why doesn't she like your place?
> 
> If you hang out in common living areas and you just rent a room then you're not asking her to move in with YOU you're asking her to move in with several people. Not nearly the same. If you just hang out in your room that's even worse - that's not something I'd consider a place for two.
> 
> ...




Im upset because we're she was before wasn't good for her emotional health and there was a good possibility that physical harm could have happen. And she did feel safe there. She stays at the other way places because she says convenient for her when she gets off work. She said she "needs new things" to feel like she's at home. She's not sleeping around with other guys. She's very faithful and charming.

I'm aware that our living arrangement are not the best but you take what you can get as life till you get something better. We both agreed that this would be the best move for the both of use.

We only have one roommate, and he keeps to himself and we talk about if she feels safe around him and that's not a problem. 

The real reason why I'm upset is because she takes on other responsibilities that's not needed like taking her none blood brother to school baby sitting her cousins baby, the same cousin who lives a very unhealthy life style. And I'm the type of guy that says "get your self together and then help others". Other people's problems is not ours, well at least for now.


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## thugkitty (Jan 20, 2017)

Hope1964 said:


> Is her cousin male or female? What kind of living arrangements do the cousin and the momma have? What exactly is the relationship with this 'momma'?




Her cousin is female, she has her own room at both places, and she told me momma helped her out when nobody was there for her.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Well if she's not cheating on you and is doing it for convenience, what the heck is the problem??

You sound a tad bit controlling here.


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## thugkitty (Jan 20, 2017)

Hope1964 said:


> Well if she's not cheating on you and is doing it for convenience, what the heck is the problem??
> 
> 
> 
> You sound a tad bit controlling here.




Yea maybe your right..


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