# One year anniversary



## HeartbrokenW (Sep 26, 2012)

Today is the one year anniversary of the divorce I never wanted, but in the end, turned out to be a good thing. I must admit, I'm in much better place than I was a year ago. I still come here to read, but not as often. I have no desire to 'find someone else'. On one hand, I would prefer to be with someone, but I turn 50 this year. People are set in their ways at this age, its hard to trust. All the issues that come with raising children of divorced parents and dating. Its just too hard. 

My advice for anyone going through this is... it does get better with time.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Glad to hear you are doing well a year later


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## stillhoping (Aug 27, 2012)

Heartbroken, I am trying very hard not to set expectations for myself, who knows what is coming next. You might meet someone, you might not but you can be a whole human being either way


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## nickgtg (Jan 11, 2013)

HeartbrokenW said:


> Today is the one year anniversary of the divorce I never wanted, but in the end, turned out to be a good thing. I must admit, I'm in much better place than I was a year ago. I still come here to read, but not as often. I have no desire to 'find someone else'. On one hand, I would prefer to be with someone, but I turn 50 this year. People are set in their ways at this age, its hard to trust. All the issues that come with raising children of divorced parents and dating. Its just too hard.
> 
> My advice for anyone going through this is... it does get better with time.


Happy to hear everything is working out well for you. I'm turning 48 this year, and I have no desire to even date right now. My focus is strictly on my kids and myself.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

One year anniversary on Tuesday. No foolin'! :smthumbup:

Just had the best year in 25 years!  I'm 50 and feel 25! No desire to find anyone or even to date. I'm having fun doing what I want to do and partying it up. Just livin' large and lovin' life! :toast:

Yes, it does get better with time. The more time I don't have anything to do with my ex, the better off I am. :yay:


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Congrats,

Yes the first year was the hardest for sure and I made it much worse by dating way before I was ready so I'm glad you are taking that notion slow. 

What overall helped me move forward was starting to make plans for my future. I made my bucket list and started working to check things off, Hung out with friends, and yes dated but it wasn't with an end goal to sleep with as many women as possible but rather to find an actual connection with someone.....which I have.

This is a journey not a destination. Still good days and bad for sure. But having a plan to move forward is key my opinion


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## Damselfish (May 21, 2010)

Thanks for your post, Heartbroken. I am just begininng my first year journey. It sucks eggs, but hope is growing, albeit very slowly, just hanging out here and reading posts from you and others.

DF


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

First year was difficult
Forgot all about dates second year


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## esrum1 (Oct 3, 2012)

Good to hear another testament of the power of time in healing these wounds. Formally, I'm at about the 5 month mark (been separated for 2 years however), and right now has turned into the hardest time yet (for me personally). The "being-told" she wants a divorce, the actual formal divorce filing, the meetings with lawyers, and even the mediation weren't near as hard as it is right now. Not sure why. But, a year down the road, it gives me something to look forward to.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

esrum1 said:


> The "being-told" she wants a divorce, the actual formal divorce filing, the meetings with lawyers, and even the mediation weren't near as hard as it is right now. Not sure why.


Because you've had to face the reality that it's REALLY over. It's the same as dealing with and accepting the death of a loved one. It takes time to deal with the divorce and it doesn't end with the signing of the divorce settlement. 

Check this out:

The 5 Stages of Grieving the End of a Relationship | Psychology Today


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## Brokenman85 (Jul 24, 2013)

On May 19, it will be one year for me too. I'd be lying if I said I haven't made progress but I still feel terrible. I feel dead inside... Numb. I haven't been able to fully enjoy anything this past year. She is always, at a minimum, in the back of my mind. She sometimes still consumes it completey. It's taken everything I have to not just give up on life. I feel my progress should be better. I just can't let go of the memories that will forever be tainted. Of the future and children we planned. Most of all it's the betrayal that's hard to get past. How can I trust again? I still love the woman she was... Not who she became. That person is forever gone and that just breaks my heart.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Yesterday was my One Year Anniversary. My daughter asked me how I felt. I said "Awesome!" :smthumbup:

Best year I ever had without that baggage of a bad marriage and a toxic ex husband! Helps that I haven't talked to him since last May. 

Plus, I love being single!


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## Paradise (Dec 16, 2011)

Brokenman85 said:


> On May 19, it will be one year for me too. I'd be lying if I said I haven't made progress but I still feel terrible. I feel dead inside... Numb. I haven't been able to fully enjoy anything this past year. She is always, at a minimum, in the back of my mind. She sometimes still consumes it completey. It's taken everything I have to not just give up on life. I feel my progress should be better. I just can't let go of the memories that will forever be tainted. Of the future and children we planned. Most of all it's the betrayal that's hard to get past. How can I trust again? I still love the woman she was... Not who she became. That person is forever gone and that just breaks my heart.


Only thing that would make me want to cash it in would be having that chickenhawk as my avatar!!!! 

Seriously, I know exactly what you are going through. Was there a few years ago. Be patient. You will get feeling better and better as time goes by.


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