# ( year old just told me he wants to live with his dad.....



## Set me FREE (Sep 5, 2011)

(9 year old.) What the hell do I tell him beyond that it a decision made between mommy and daddy? Stbxh is going hear this and run with it in order to get out of paying child support and to hurt me....OW is mentally unstable($300 a month worth of anti psychotics/sleeping pills), stbxh spent the last 10 years mentally abusing/controlling me. I know part of this is stbxh actually spending time with them and playing the part of superdad.....but this is killing me and I am not sure what to do to squash it.

Totally freaking out!


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## Lostouthere (Aug 24, 2011)

Thats exactly what I would tell him. Who cares if STBXH runs with it. He can kick rocks F him. It will be ok just keep your head up STBXH is probably filling his head with a bunch of BS


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## Sod (Aug 20, 2011)

You have a parental right to see your child and a say in whats in their best interest. Dont let that happen. Kids at that age are easily influenced but ultimately you both decide whats best for them. Talk to your STBX and agree directly (if you can) on the parenting plan and then tell your 9 year old how it will be as its in their best interest to have both parents in their life.


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## Set me FREE (Sep 5, 2011)

Sod said:


> You have a parental right to see your child and a say in whats in their best interest. Dont let that happen. Kids at that age are easily influenced but ultimately you both decide whats best for them. Talk to your STBX and agree directly (if you can) on the parenting plan and then tell your 9 year old how it will be as its in their best interest to have both parents in their life.


That's the problem..stbxh declared 50/50(e.o. week) using his address with OW as the residential address and then adjusting if he has things to do(i.e wipeout child support and revert back 95.5/.5 split we've had for the last 9 years so he can go to biker events and have biker parties)....I told him no way in hell that was happening....

I went and printed off their profiles on a kink site(while not bad they are adults...but we live in an uber conservative county) and found a forum post I made anonymously about an attack he made on me back in February and printed that off for a time line. Not sure how much legal aid is willing to do..or if they just file papers and let the chips fall...


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## Sod (Aug 20, 2011)

Just remember that all orders around child support are modifiable until the child is considered emancipated. If he trys to claim 50/50 but reality shows otherwise, you can file later to change it


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## Set me FREE (Sep 5, 2011)

Of course he promised that he would show up for a school event this evening..and bailed at the last minute because the OW is having issues...the kids have been miserable since. Let's see what happens to the big weekend with daddy he got the kids all pumped up for......


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

This is sad. I have a friend where the son wants to see his dad more. But he always bails on the kid. I'm starting to see signs of resentment in the child. 

Boys want their dads. It's natural. But being nine he doesn't get everything going on around him. 

Stick to your guns.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sakaye (Feb 15, 2011)

I'm sorry to hear that. I've gone through that with my 2 oldest kids. They were younger when I left him. They are 11 & 12 now. Your son may not want to be with you because daddy's house is FUN and daddy is probably a huge bullsh*tter, and mommy makes me fix my bed, or do chores, or do homework, whatever it is, mommy will almost ALWAYS look like the bad person. I cried and cried for years because my kids ALWAYS asked to live with their dad. However, little did they know that every time he bailed for work, he bailed for the OW, who like in ur situation, is a damn nutbag. All I can say is be prepared for the worst. And the worst is not taking the child away. Check your State laws. Your ex will have to prove you severely unfit to get full custody. I say check ur State laws because where I'm from, you CAN be divorced, have joint custody and he still n to pay child support. That's not what happened in my case, but a judge here told me so. Like I was saying earlier, there are worse things than sharing custody, like having the OW make ur kid call her mommy. Its pretty crazy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Set me FREE (Sep 5, 2011)

and he jut stopped by to tell me he told the furniture company to stop by to pick up my living room set cause he's not paying for it....grrrr


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