# Interested in a Woman's Perspective on Masturbation



## yobizot (Feb 27, 2012)

I am in a wonderfully fulfilling relationship with my girlfriend of 3 1/2 years. From the start, our sexual chemistry has been increadible and has not let up one bit. We cant keep our hands of each other and regularly make love 3-7 X's a week. We both make sure the other is satisfied always. She owns a vibrator that she keeps in her nightstand, I am cool with the fact that she has one and enjoys it. She will tell me stories of times she has used it when I wasnt around and i tell her how hot it makes me to hear it. She has used it in front of me in bed becuase I told her it would turn me on and it has been a great addtition to our sex life. This past weekend, we made love 6 X's and she had at no les than 3 orgasms each day (without vibrator). Last night after sex, I woke up and found her masterbating with her vibrator. I am embarrased to admit it, but it hurt my feelings. How many times does she need to come? And with me right there in the next room? Am I orverreacting or do I hav justifiable concerns?


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## Lionelhutz (Feb 2, 2012)

I know you want a woman's perspective, but similar complaints are made by woman all the time. But my first question would be, how do you think you would have felt or responded if after having sex six times over the weekend, she woke you up from a sleep for one more go?

Maybe she couldn't sleep, all the sex charged her up, and she was just looking to quickly give herself a little relief to help her sleep.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

So this just happened once?


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## Hopefull363 (Feb 13, 2012)

My view on masturbation is as long as both parties are satisfied with their sex life is doesn't matter. Sometimes the urge strikes at times when it's not convenient. Maybe she needed that last push to fall asleep as stated above and didn't want to wake you. If that was the case she should have left the bed though. Did you let her know you were awake? If I woke up to my husband doing that I would jump him and finish it for him.


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## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

Maybe she is not really having orgasms as frequently as you think that she is?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

Unless you are not being satisfied or you are afraid you are not satisfying her enough then let it go. Some people need it more than others. Let her enjoy herself all she wants. Why would you want to hold her back.


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## NeverRight (Feb 26, 2012)

That is definitely a doozy. My wife doesn't have any vibrators -- I don't tell her to get them but, let's face it, we aren't all porn stars and we can't all go for hours and hours at a time. I know I would be crushed if I were in your situation but consider this:

Masturbation chiefly affords two things: SELF and PLEASURE. The fact that someone CAN satisfy someone doesn't mean that he/she wants to go through the effort to do so in order to feel good about having an orgasm. Masturbation gives the orgasm without owing anyone anything. It sounds like you two do everything you can to satisfy each other which is GREAT. She may have just wanted one without having make sure you were also satisfied.

Despite what people make of sex, it is actually a pretty significant contract. When a women allows a man into her (a VERY BIG deal) she is vulnerable. A man (as I feel) is similarly vulnerable because he knows what he has to "do" to feel as if he has satisfied her. We could start a whole other thread on whether sex is harder for women or men (I am going to say it's harder for the man) but, if a man "arrives" before the woman or she never gets there, it is not only a let-down for the woman, but I can almost guarantee you that any man who cares about sex and the mutual feeling that should result would feel crushed. Women have been known to feel the same way if she felt that she did not satisfy the man but, I am going to go out on a limb here, it is probably far less frequent than for a man. In either case, both parties at some point know that the other must be satisfied -- at least that's the intent going in. It's a lot of pressure to make that happen ALL THE TIME. 

Your wife isn't doing it to spite you, she obviously loves your sex life together. Just like you have probably masturbated when she was away just to "get one off," she was probably doing the same thing. It's just getting the approximation of the feeling without the pressure of having to satisfy someone else -- and it's not like she doesn't want to satisfy you but I think you get my drift. Besides, a vibrator can't bring her flowers on her birthday and make her breakfast in the morning. It can't talk to her and it damn sure, when it comes down to it, isn't you (which she obviously loves). Just remember the six, seven or eight times when you were with her and you could feel her heart beating and her body shivering -- that, my friend, is really what it's all about. The vibrator is controlled by her -- the benefit of being with you is that you think and you feel and could still do things to her that the rubber/plastic battery contraption could never accomplish. 

Relax -- you are in the house.


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## MrsOldNews (Feb 22, 2012)

kag123 said:


> Maybe she is not really having orgasms as frequently as you think that she is?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


This it what I'm guessing.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

kag123 said:


> Maybe she is not really having orgasms as frequently as you think that she is?


This is what I think too.


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## mr.miketastic (Aug 5, 2010)

It's only a problem if she is cutting you out of it. Just like the complaints from some women here about how their husbands are looking at p0rn, the blade cuts the same in the other direction.
If she is keeping sex from you but getting off, then it might be time for counseling...or getting out to find someone more compatible.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

kag123 said:


> Maybe she is not really having orgasms as frequently as you think that she is?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Whoa ... Women fake orgasms?


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Deejo said:


> Whoa ... Women fake orgasms?


Only with you baby. Don't ban me.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I think you got her engine revved up and she didn't want to wake you and figured that 6 times in 2 days was a lot for you and just got off since she was horny. Good sex begets more sexual desire imo, so just be happy you have indeed turned her on.


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## Lionelhutz (Feb 2, 2012)

I don't think there is any reason to automatically assume she was faking it during regular sex. An ex-GF of mine once told me that when her hormones were pumping and she was alone, she could use her vibrator six times in a day.

Some people just have very high sex drives...sometimes constantly sometimes for short periods.


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## shy_guy (Jan 25, 2012)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Only with you baby. Don't ban me.


:lol:


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

She probably woke up, was horny, and wanted to give herself a quick orgasm and go back to sleep instead of waking you up and making a big production out of it where you would then want to get off, too. A few minutes of vibrator and sleep might have seemed a better option than sex with you and no sleep, in that moment.

Or this:



> Maybe she is not really having orgasms as frequently as you think that she is?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Lionelhutz said:


> Some people just have very high sex drives...sometimes constantly sometimes for short periods.


I think you are very lucky she loves sex so much. I experienced a drive like that- 3 yrs ago , I was constantly horny & had too much energy... we did it one night, an hour later, I was watching some porn we rented ...got aroused again & used a dildo I recently bought, told my husband the next day, he just laughed, I knew he was out for the count an hour later, no sense waking him up! 

Unless you are being deprived somehow- I think you hit the jackpot with her, so long as she is faithful, so long as she gives you yours before she whips out the Rabbit - smile , be thankful.  Most men are not getting that kind of quantity in a week - by a long shot. Bless you !

Do you think she is faking it ? Could be some issues there down the line after all the relationship excitement wears off, if so. So long as all is honest...she is just a horndog.... all is good. She sure has a high drive !


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## The Chimp (Feb 14, 2012)

My wife says its disgusting and perverse and not something that decent people should do. She says its unladylike and we should be on the look out to make sure our kids don't start.

She says she knows men do it but that "you can't expect any better of them"


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> I think you got her engine revved up and she didn't want to wake you and figured that 6 times in 2 days was a lot for you and just got off since she was horny. Good sex begets more sexual desire imo, so just be happy you have indeed turned her on.


:iagree:
Sometimes I masturbate after sex because I need just one more orgasm and my husband is sleeping. I would never bring out my "massager"  right next to him; I do not masturbate when he is around or awake.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

The Chimp said:


> My wife says its disgusting and perverse and not something that decent people should do. She says its unladylike and we should be on the look out to make sure our kids don't start. :lol: Most kids play with themselves. They just won't do it around their uptight mommies. I hid my masturbation since I started at age four. If your wife is so prudish about masturbation, I hope she is openminded about other things.
> 
> She says she knows men do it but that "you can't expect any better of them"


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

The Chimp said:


> My wife says its disgusting and perverse and not something that decent people should do. She says its unladylike and we should be on the look out to make sure our kids don't start.
> 
> She says she knows men do it but that "you can't expect any better of them"


Surely you knew this about her before you married her. :scratchhead:


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

The Chimp said:


> My wife says its disgusting and perverse and not something that decent people should do. She says its unladylike and we should be on the look out to make sure our kids don't start.
> 
> She says she knows men do it but that "you can't expect any better of them"


LOL


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## The Chimp (Feb 14, 2012)

FirstYearDown said:


> Most kids play with themselves. They just won't do it around their uptight mommies. I hid my masturbation since I started at age four. If your wife is so prudish about masturbation, I hope she is openminded about other things.


No, it isn't "ladylike". "Ladies don't like sex".


norajane said:


> Surely you knew this about her before you married her. :scratchhead:


No. She was always a bit shy and inhibited, but not out of the ordinary (I suppose). She has reinvented herself as a "lady" in the last few years, and "ladies don't do sex", except becuase men want it


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## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

Just get one you can both use,like an Hitachi magic wand and join her.Be happy you have a woman that enjoy sex and urge her on by telling her how hot you think it is ect ect and start working on yourself.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

kag123 said:


> Maybe she is not really having orgasms as frequently as you think that she is?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


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