# When is the right time?



## fireguy001 (Jan 23, 2011)

I've been married for a little over 2 years. Mid 20's and no kids. Some people have been telling me that 2 years is not enough to find out if my wife is truly my soul mate. 

The thing is, we spend alot of the time arguing. I work as a firefighter and I spend many days away from home. My wife knew that I always wanted to work in this line of work but I don't think she was prepared to deal with it. She calls many nights wanting me to come home and I can't. She wants someone who can be there whenever she needs/wants becuase of her rough life growing up. I need someone who can be independent at times becuase of my job. 

We thought in the beginning that we could make it work. We thought we were soul mates. However it is coming to my knowledge that I don't think its the case. Most of the time we have together is spent arguing about who needs to do this or that around the house and so on. We have quantity time together but no quality. 

All of the arguments stem back to the fact that I am not at home many nights and she needs someone that can be. I want to make this work, however I have always dreamed of being a firefighter and I'm not going to give that up. 

Any suggestions/comments would be great! Thanks


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Maybe there actually are pairs of people who are just born to be with each other. I doubt it. Throughout much of the world, couples don't even pick their own mates. In this country, until relatively recently, couples had to choose from whatever lived within walking or horseback distance. I think love is about choices and the characters of two people. I'm a cop and a Reserve soldier. I was a firefighter and rode a meat wagon back in the day. We aren't the easiest folks to partner with and not just any woman (or man) is cut out for the job. Those who are crazy enough to marry us and stick it out are special folks, indeed and they are the real heroes. 
I don't know if I'd judge the strength of a marriage by the number or intensity of arguments. You guys are communicating. I think a lot more damage can be inflicted in silence. Marriages between people who "never fought" end every day.


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