# Another "what should I do" question



## kimmyj74 (Jan 4, 2009)

Here is my long story made short.....

Married for 11 years, 2 kids.

I was sexually abused at about 10ish, had boyfriends starting at 14 (including sex), controlling boyfriends(sexually and mentally).

I believe I have overcome most of this but now I wonder.

My marriage is loveless. We are room mates, we have sex a couple times a week but it's always after he makes me feel like it's my "duty". There is absolutely no cuddling, touching, kissing, etc. He is also very jealous of my time and money spent without him. (Yes, I work and am in school to further me career. He works too.)

I've been thinking of leaving for years, and have actually tried a couple of times (we have talked about how terrible our relationship is), but I always come back for the kids and the stability of our life together. Meaning nice house, nice things, pets. etc. These things would not be possible by myself financially.

Lately I have been thinking that life is too short for this relationship. I deserve to be happy, if it really exists! I think my past may have unconsciously sabotaged my ability to love. I also feel that the only way to truly leave for good is to have an affair. He would never forgive me and we would have to get a divorce.

I guess I want to know:
1- am I crazy
2- should I leave now or have an affair
3- how does someone go about leaving when there are kids involved (ages 11+8)

Thanks for listening


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

Having an affair isn't the answer to solving the issues. Communication is and a councilor maybe able to help the two of you connect, also read the five love languages together. It is always worth giving a marriage another try, to reinvent it.

draconis


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