# condom in laundry...



## rhodna (Aug 10, 2012)

So, when I was doing laundry at my grandparents place (we don't have a machine at home) I took a load of my husbands laundry out of the dryer and there was a condom in a wrapper in the dryer. We have not used condoms in years. We are 24 and 26. My Uncle (in his mid 40's) lived with my grandparents up until about a month ago. 

I confronted my husband, he (of course) said he had no idea how it got there. He told me it could be my uncles. My grandma had a load of laundry in the dryer before I put one of mine in, I took that out, transferred some of mine into the dryer, took that out, and on my second load of laundry is when I found the condom. 

He said he is being honest, and that he has no idea how it got there, typical answers I suppose.

Whats up with that?! My husband is a trustworthy guy, except for one minor online dirty chat I found on his computer he has been totally faithful to me (as far as I know.)

He is out of town tonight, and I am going out of town for the weekend. We won't see each other until Sunday.

Does it seem like he is being honest? is there a possibility it is my uncles?? Just wondering what other people think as I cannot very well ask anyone I know in real life.


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## lovingsummer (Jul 27, 2012)

Did you ask your uncle? It seems unlikely that it would be there a month later...


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## Numb in Ohio (Oct 31, 2011)

How long ago was this "innocent chat"?


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## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)

Don't want to be cynical but lewd online flirting and condom wrappers in the dryer....something is fishy there. 

Are you guys open into looking at each other's mobile phones?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Don't say anything more to him for a while and start looking to see whatelse you found.

A man who is having dirty chats on the internet is not innocent. You might want to consider installing a keylogger on the computer he was using for the dirty chat.


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## Ansley (Apr 5, 2010)

Act like it never happened and start looking around....cell records, internet usage etc....

The uncle has been gone a month. Im sure you have used the dryer since then. If something makes sense ...it usually does. It could only be your husbands. Combined with the dirty chat he either has or is planning on doing something. Sorry sweetie


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Start watching his actions very closely. Say nothing for the time being. Hyper-vigilance is key. It's very rare that a cheater shows no signs at all.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

I'm very sorry. I had this same exact thing happen to me with my ex h.

He WAS cheating and with several women! Keep your guard up!

This IS a sure sign of cheating.


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## jh52 (Apr 29, 2012)

Watch and Observe !!!


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Things often happen in a logical sequence.
Like,
Monday,Tuesday,Wednesday etc.

Even when occurrences seem random, there is always a pattern.

First the dirty chats ,then the condom wrapper.
24 & 26 is basically newly weds.
Why is he having these " dirty chats " online?
And I doubt that was the only " dirty chat" he had.
Check the computer history. If its cleared ,then why is he clearing it?

Since you didn't pay much attention to the first red fllag ,
You should definitely pay close attention to this one.


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## rhodna (Aug 10, 2012)

After the dirty chat, which was over a year and a half ago, I left, we went to counseling and I believe it would never happen again. We have resolved that issue, and I have 100% access to his email, he does not have facebook, and he has a cell phone for work, and I have total access to that as well.

IT is however possible that my grandma was doing my uncles laundry as he has clothing still at their house and she was just cleaning out/cleaning up his bedroom. My uncle is in a new relationship, if that matters.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

rhodna said:


> After the dirty chat, which was over a year and a half ago, *I left, we went to counseling and I believe it would never happen again. We have resolved that issue, and I have 100% access to his email, he does not have facebook, and he has a cell phone for work, and I have total access to that as well.*
> 
> IT is however possible that my grandma was doing my uncles laundry as he has clothing still at their house and she was just cleaning out/cleaning up his bedroom. My uncle is in a new relationship, if that matters.



Ok then,
I understand your concern because of the previous " issue" [ dirty chat], but this present issue
[ condom wrapper] seems kind of iffy.
There are some plausible variables, and you bth seem to have handled the first issue properly

Maybe you should let it go, but keep your instincts sharp.
Just my opinion.


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## mahike (Aug 16, 2011)

Trust but verify. You have a past problem so just keep your guard up a bit. How are things at home. does he hang on to his phone. how is your sex life. Is he the guy that wants to get things started?

Why are you two spending time apart. That is a red flag to me


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

get a keylogger.keep quiet.act normal.keep those eyes open and don't brush off fishy stuff as nothing.separate they might be nothing but add it all together and you've got something.


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

How about asking your relatives directly about this? They are your relatives and would not lie to you would they? Are you too embarrassed to ask? If they know about the other situation they will understand your suspicions.


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

Why do you even confront him?

He's going to say it isn't his no matter what.

He won't say "ok, yeah it's mine I am having sex with someone else"

By confronting him he'll just be more careful.


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## CleanJerkSnatch (Jul 18, 2012)

donders said:


> Why do you even confront him?
> 
> He's going to say it isn't his no matter what.
> 
> ...


I had to laugh at that. What do some of these people expect when you ask "are you cheating on me" answer: "DUHH OF COURSE NOT! I would never! What is wrong, you don't trust me?"

Confrontation moves an affair deep under ground. Worse thing to do. Just keep quiet and do not reveal your investigation or your strategies.

Some of the excuses BS (betrayed spouses) believe are so ridiculous. Some BS just WANT to trust, just want to believe but sometimes the sad truth is our gut knows. Listen deep down and you may know the answer.

When he is out of town do as all the posters have said, install a key logger on the computer, when he comes back put a VAR in the house, in the family vehicle, his car, and install a tracker app on his phone, whatever. Decide whats next with whatever evidence or no evidence you find.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

ScarletBegonias said:


> get a keylogger.keep quiet.act normal.keep those eyes open and don't brush off fishy stuff as nothing.separate they might be nothing but add it all together and you've got something.


This, but be careful! 









_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

costa200 said:


> How about asking your relatives directly about this? They are your relatives and would not lie to you would they? Are you too embarrassed to ask? If they know about the other situation they will understand your suspicions.


:iagree:

True,
But maybe she embarrassed.
She probably doesn't want them knowing the history etc.

What is they say no?
Then that's a whole can of worms.....


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## NaturalHeart (Nov 13, 2011)

What is he out of town for? Is it work related?

You said he has been faithful as far as you know. :scratchhead:

He is out of town right now so you really dont know. Job related travel can be easily taken advantage of if the spouse desires to cheat. If you dont ask the uncle, you wont rest. But please prepare yourself. Your uncle left a month ago but that does not mean that unwrapped condom didnt stand a few tumbles in the dryer since then. 

When you trust your spouse its a good thing but when they get caught crossing the line, it shouldnt be easily forgotten or blown off and out of your mind. When people easily forget it makes those blinders quickly come on. He got caught chatting because you saw it. I'm not saying he is cheating I'm saying once you see a certain type of behavior the blinders should never come back on.


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## Chris989 (Jul 3, 2012)

Chances are, it's your uncle's. It makes sense on every level.

Nothing wrong with being careful, but don't throw your marriage away by harassing your husband about something that probably hasn't happened.

Check into stuff but get on with your relationship.


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