# She invited him to LinkedIn, would you respond?



## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

My fiancé told me that his ex sent him an invitation to connect with LinkendIn,. I think that's their lingo.

He has told me that he will ignore it. Of course, it's possible that she intended to send it. It's also possible that she didn't intend to send it, failing to scrape my fiancé's e-mail away while the program makes its quick journey through any member's e-mail account.

I have thought of taking the e-mail asking my fiancé to connect with her and sending it to her e-mail address and asking her to delete my fiancé's e-mail completely out of her account. Of course, she never wanted to have continued contact with him. right?

so ladies, what do you think?


----------



## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

Not a lady, but some experience with LinkedIn.

I got an invite, purportedly from an old friend. Being a little wary, I asked her if she indeed "invited" me, and she said no. Presumably LinkedIn perused FB or some such to establish connections.

In other words, this "invite" quite possibly was from no person in particular, but originated from LinkedIn itself.


----------



## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

I'm a lady and I love LinkedIn--but it has some pretty whacked out linking to it. First, there are tons of settings that you have to go in and change the defaults on to direct where contacts should be searched for, how they or you might contact one another--automatically or manually, it's a maze. Second, it stretches far and wide for 'links'. One in particular I remember was pretty random:

I connected to my brother-in-law. A while after that I got an invite to connect from a guy that seemed vaguely familiar. Turns out the trail went from me to BIL, BIL to this guy and I got an invite because we were both members of a huge "group" for the Chamber of Commerce or Young Professionals or something. One that has something like 5,000 people in it... The invite had been automatically generated and honestly, if I hadn't seen him just a week or so before at a show my BIL's band was doing--I would never have known who, how or why this guy was sending me LinkedIn invites. I'm guessing that LinkedIn tries to connect you if you have two or more contacts, groups or affiliations--but I couldn't say for sure....

Of all the social and professional networking sites out there, I would probably put the LEAST amount of energy into analyzing possible motives behind at least initial contacts. It has a crappy message system and no chat, so it's not like it's even an easy platform to try to re-connect on.


----------



## srtjm (Jul 11, 2012)

It was probably compuer generated by LinkedIn. I wouldn't worry about it unless she presists.


----------



## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Men are welcome to answer.


----------



## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

NextTimeAround said:


> My fiancé told me that his ex sent him an invitation to connect with LinkendIn,. I think that's their lingo.
> 
> He has told me that he will ignore it. Of course, it's possible that she intended to send it. It's also possible that she didn't intend to send it, failing to scrape my fiancé's e-mail away while the program makes its quick journey through any member's e-mail account.
> 
> ...


If you just ignore the connection request, you typically get a repeat request. He should decline the request.

I think your last paragraph - you confronting her and telling her to cease and desist - if indeed she was the one who actually initiated the request - would be better served if it came from your fiance - and a decline could serve that purpose. 

Best wishes.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Don't ask her to do anything. It's best to ignore her.

Decline the invitation.

Then ask your fiance to block her emails. He's the one who is responsible to you, not her.


----------



## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

About 2 years ago, I did send her an e-mail so she would have it in her e-mail account unless she made the effort to delete it. Since I didn't receive an invite from her, then she must have handpicked the e-mail addresses that she wanted to invite.

I decided to have a look at LinkedIn mail that I was receiving ---and this does have a happy ending --

I noticed that a friend of mine is trying to put together training seminars and she invited me to one for free. I would not have seen that e-mail if I had not been on that other mission.


----------



## Unsure in Seattle (Sep 6, 2011)

My SO's EA partner was in our field of work a long time- he isn't anymore, but he pops up constantly on my Linkedin because he knows all of the people that I do... and it constantly wants me to add him.


----------



## heartsdelight (Apr 2, 2012)

NextTimeAround said:


> About 2 years ago, I did send her an e-mail so she would have it in her e-mail account unless she made the effort to delete it. Since I didn't receive an invite from her, then she must have handpicked the e-mail addresses that she wanted to invite.


Or the computer system decided the two of them had more connections than you and her did. Or she never saved your email address but had his saved and never deleted it. Either way, even if she deliberately sent him the invite, does it matter? You should trust him enough to know that he's not going to feed into it, and if you don't or he is feeding into it, then there's your problem.


----------

