# Six months since we had sex, a positive post



## Skookaroo (Jul 12, 2021)

The last time we had had sex was when I was about 8 months pregnant. After that, I was too swollen and uncomfortable to be down for it. Of course, then the baby comes and my body has to heal at least six weeks. Mine needed more. Plus focus was on baby and his needs, and it was hard to find a time or place. We tried a couple of times, but had to stop because of pain on my end. 

My husband never initiates sex. Early on, I asked him why, and he told me it was because he never wanted me to feel pushed into it in any way. It wasn’t because he didn’t want it, because he is always down. I was shook. I had expressed how I hadn’t ever been given space to feel desire with my ex. I was always trying to catch up with him sexually, and it was exhausting. I ended up feeling empty and used with him. My husband didn’t want me to feel that way. It’s a game changer. After that conversation, I was more initiative because I understood the ball was always in my court, and I surprisingly really like it that way!

Anyway, during these 6 months, my husband and I remained physically affectionate and flirtatious, but without sex. He had been encouraging me to try things to feel comfortable with sex again but has not been the least bit pushy. After six months, we finally had mutually enjoyable sex this weekend, and I just cannot express enough how loved I feel.

My worth to him is not dependent on sex. I feel cherished for who I am rather than how I can service him. Sex is just one part of our relationship. I was given the space to heal and desire at my own (slow) pace. When we had sex, it was truly to enjoy and express love for each other—not duty, not out of guilt, not out of fear, no insecurities—just love.

I’m so grateful for a patient, empathetic, respectful partner who meets me where I am and loves me for me. 😭🥰🥰🥰


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Skookaroo said:


> The last time we had had sex was when I was about 8 months pregnant. After that, I was too swollen and uncomfortable to be down for it. Of course, then the baby comes and my body has to heal at least six weeks. Mine needed more. Plus focus was on baby and his needs, and it was hard to find a time or place. We tried a couple of times, but had to stop because of pain on my end.
> 
> My husband never initiates sex. Early on, I asked him why, and he told me it was because he never wanted me to feel pushed into it in any way. It wasn’t because he didn’t want it, because he is always down. I was shook. I had expressed how I hadn’t ever been given space to feel desire with my ex. I was always trying to catch up with him sexually, and it was exhausting. I ended up feeling empty and used with him. My husband didn’t want me to feel that way. It’s a game changer. After that conversation, I was more initiative because I understood the ball was always in my court, and I surprisingly really like it that way!
> 
> ...


Wonderful post. I wish we had a million of these.
👏 🎆🎉🥳


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

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