# Nervous to have sex !



## Jeep73170 (Dec 26, 2010)

I pose this question to the females as I hope to get some insight.

I am a man, and may be single for the first time in very long time ( 25+ years ), and I am nervous as to having sex with women. I am 110% heterosexual, never ever had sex with a man, but I haven't kissed a women in years , and sex hasn't happened in a very long while also . I am concerned that not having any recent activity that I may not perform as well as I would want. This thought bothers me. 

If a man told you he was nervous to have sex would you laugh @ him ?

What would your expectations be ?

What would you do ?


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

A few questions that might help get better answers to your question. Do you masturbate, do you look at woman and feel sexually attracted? Do you watch porn? Why did you mention men and sexual attraction? Do you watch hay porn?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jeep73170 (Dec 26, 2010)

I have always been attracted to women.

I don't watch porn.

I mentioned the man thing so it was clear that my attraction / experience is only toward women. 

What is hay porn ?


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

No, I personally would not laugh at all. I do not expect a guy to be any particular "way" about anything, just because he is male. If you haven't had sex in a while, of course you will be nervous--heck, just having sex with someone new makes a lot of guys nervous. 

And if a woman did laugh at you? I cannot imagine that happening, but if she did, run from her. She has unrealistic expectations and you'll just be unhappy in the long run.

Good luck.


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## Joanie (Oct 24, 2010)

After reading your other post I would say you might be putting the cart before the horse with this post. Focus on resolving your issues in your current situation before you worry about things that will happen in your next. But....to answer your question I would say both men and women are somewhat nervous before having sex with someone new. When the day comes and you are single and available to be in that situation, simply say....I've not done this with someone new in a VERY long time. I am sure if she is a woman you really feel worthy of being intimate with, she will be totally fine with the awkwardness that will possibly follow. Most of my women friends have told me the first time with someone new is always pretty bad but it gets better with practice! We tend to know this going into it.


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## Tiredspouse0297 (Dec 9, 2010)

My first time having sex after my divorce I shook like crazy. Once the act was in full gear I was just fine!!!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Jeep73170 said:


> I pose this question to the females as I hope to get some insight.
> 
> I am a man, and may be single for the first time in very long time ( 25+ years ), and I am nervous as to having sex with women. I am 110% heterosexual, never ever had sex with a man, but I haven't kissed a women in years , and sex hasn't happened in a very long while also . I am concerned that not having any recent activity that I may not perform as well as I would want. This thought bothers me.
> 
> ...


 I would not laugh, but I would have questions similar to what Catherine asked. I would definetely find it VERY ODD for any single/sexless man to not enjoy some form of porn/naked women with his masterbation. 

MY biggest concern would be --*Does he have a viable sex drive?* I think all men with a decent drive in such a situation would be too tempted to stay away. It is a driving force for many. 

Curious to why you do not indulge yourself ? Religious beliefs? Are you not temped?

Are your sole fantasies conjured in your head enough during masterbation? If you are not masterbating regularly, you need to start!!!! This will only be a PLUS for your future sex life. Good for your prostate & the more you use it, keeping the blood flowing, the better chance you will be able to KEEP using it. It is an organ that MUST & should be forever exercised !

Do you wake up with morning erections? If yes- GREAT! Or have trouble getting them during masterbation?-If no, the plumbing is fine. But you may struggle with "Performace Pressure". Even some Viagra can help you over this. One great thing about it >> it is not addicting , your body does not become conditioned too it. It has helped even some younger men get over some performace pressure & once built up some confidence, never needed it again.


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## chefmaster (Oct 30, 2010)

Just remember there is a good, excited kind of nervousness, and different common sense/worried kind. 

Try and separate the two to lighten the worry-load by making sure you have all your bases covered.

To quote a scene from a comedy actor I like:
"Things are different now.
First you have to be friends.
Then you neck, this could go on for years.
Then you have tests and get to do it with a condom."


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

After I split with my ex (married 20 years) the time came when I would be intimate with someone. I was as nervous as they come. (no pun intended) 

The man I had been dating at the time (for 3 months) was as nervous as I was. We were a good match. 
I doubt any woman worth her salt is going to make you feel worse b/c of your nervousness. If she's a smart woman, she's going to know the ways to put you completely at ease.


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