# My Abusive Parents



## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Sorry, I'm going to vent and criticise my own parents as I'm getting tired and I need a solution. 
My parents, not the worst, but very close to that category. My resentment has been growing even stronger toward them recently. 
I've been giving them money whenever they needed or asked. It's all about money, which made me sick. I'm their atm and trash can. Whenever they wanted money, they approached me, when they're angry or unhappy about things in life, they approached me and dumped their emotional trash on me. 

My dad got stroke for 3 years, so he can't no longer call me to ask for money but my mom always remembers his share and she would shamelessly ask my husband to pay, instead of her 2 own sons, my older brothers. 

Worst of all, one of my brother would go to my mom to borrow money from the bank by using her house as mortgage. It's enough he returns her favor 10% she's already happy. If he hasn't returned or paid for the loans, she would call me to pay for his debts. She would dump all her anger on me, upset with me because my brother didn't give her money for the loan. Then I need to send her more money to resuce her from troubles. 

The biggest issue about my parents is not how much they love money from me, it's about my dogs. 

I asked my dad to take care of my 2 dogs because my husband found job in Singapore and it's hard to find landlords who allow big dogs. 

So I let my dad live in my condo in my home country, no needed to pay any bills and I sent him money to take care of my dogs and himself. 

He then asked the street dog truck come to take 1 of my dog, their work is catching street dogs and putting them to sleep. 

When I found out and did my best to rescue, it's dead. My heart still aches whenever I thinks about my poor dog and how evil my dad was. My dad felt sorry later on I found my dog dead and he did take care of the other dog properly but not for too long because he got stroke soon after my first dog died. 

Then I asked my mom to take the other dog in her house... To sum up, the other dog is now neglected and abused. 

She's dirty and full of fleas and tics, she's been either locked or abandoned on the street. She's beaten by my mom and would run away quickly whenever my mom calls her.

After every month paying 500 euro to my parents for 3 years, this is their treatment with zero respect for me. 500 Euro isn't much in the west but is ok for living in south Asia.

Now we're looking for a bigger place to rent and a landlord doesn't mind dogs, so we can bring our dog to Singapore with us. 

By that time I found the landlord, I'll cut down to 250 euro for my parents. That's what I'm going to do. Don't you think it's just fair? I won't abandon my abusive parents, but I'm not going to care about them too much anymore. Don't you think it just fair? Insights pls?


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

i would never leave my dog with someone like your parents. hell, i wouldnt leave a fish with them. what are you thinking? you know the kind of people they are yet you leave the dog there anyway. that's sad. please get your dog out of there. it would be better to have it put to sleep then leave it in that condition.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Blanca said:


> i would never leave my dog with someone like your parents. hell, i wouldnt leave a fish with them. what are you thinking? you know the kind of people they are yet you leave the dog there anyway. that's sad. please get your dog out of there. it would be better to have it put to sleep then leave it in that condition.


I totally agree with you. Now I'm searching for a landlord who allows big dogs. I'm sad that I can't trust my own parents.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

You have no obligation to your parents. It sounds like you've done plenty already - consider that payment enough. Move on and live your own life and don't take their calls. I'm going to guess that your culture praises the boys and misuses the girls? Move on from that mess.


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

*Sound Advice*



turnera said:


> You have no obligation to your parents. It sounds like you've done plenty already - consider that payment enough. Move on and live your own life and don't take their calls. I'm going to guess that your culture praises the boys and misuses the girls? Move on from that mess.


This is very sound advice. I come from the kind of culture turnera is describing.

My parents are so toxic and controlling, that I refused to have them at my recent wedding. My husband and I told my parents we were having a private ceremony a year ago.

Now, just because I didn't allow my mother to plan the wedding SHE wanted me to have, my parents are not speaking to us.

They can take their immaturity and shove it.  I live only for my own approval.


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## starsandrocketsgrl12 (Nov 21, 2010)

It's time that you cut all ties to them. They basically sit on their butts and demand handouts from you and other people. That is pathetic in my book. Aren't they adults and can they like, get a job? You just need to move on and live your life. You will be much happier if you do. If they threaten not to speak to you, just tell them that you don't care and tell them to shove it. I would never associate myself with parents like that personally.


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