# little to zero pleasure



## yours4ever (Mar 14, 2013)

Hi all. Will you please help me understand why I stopped having pleasure during sex? 
Here are the relevant details: 

We never had premarital sex. Dated him a year before wedding. 
First month - couldn't penetrate due to both were virgins.
Since the first successful entrance, we had sex almost everyday, like normal newly weds before the baby arrived.
By third month, I was pregnant and oh boy! Sex was great. I was super sensitive.

After the baby were born, we waited for two months or more for my body to recover and stop bleeding.
But sex after that felt different. I felt loose and I could feel his penis against my tummy skin...
But we continued to have sex and that feeling has stopped. 

Now I very seldom feel pleasure during vaginal intercouse... but I do want to have sex with him. 
I even counted how many time we do it each week. (two on the average)

It pleases me when he climaxed and I don't care if I orgasmed or not, nor do I care if I feel pleasure at all. 
Why now it is an issue? Well, it has been a few days occurrence recently that he didn't orgasm. 

He told me he knows that I was not enjoying sex, hence he can't climax.Come to think of it, why only now..when the baby is now going to be one year old soon?

Before you give in your thoughts, let me inform that i strongly believe my husband wouldn't and isn't cheating. 
Although he do masturbate from time to time, even the next morning after sex, he can mastubate without porn.
But I can't say if he mastubate to picture often or not..videos, hardly..due to slow internet connection hehe.

Anyway, the one having issue is me. I have never orgasmed and since delivery, I seldom feel pleasure. Why?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Actually I think he's telling the truth. If he can sense that you're not into it, he will have a hard time finishing. Eventually he will have a hard time keeping an erection if it continues. Really, nothing good can come from this dynamic. I think you need professional help to get you back in touch with your inner vixen, mommy.


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## jerseygirl123 (Jun 1, 2013)

Hi, 
I'm sorry you're not feeling aroused. You are probably tired all the time. Did you have an episitomy or a c-sec, that could greatly desensitize things. Would you both be comfortable with oral sex? That would be much more intimate, and you could tell him where it feels could more easily than with intercourse. Have you tried being on top, or in another position where penetration is different? Good luck! Oral sex did the trick for me!


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

Do you do kegal exercises at all? That might help. If you have a smart phone there is even an app for it - I use Kegal Kat - it's like a dance, dance party for your vagina. I will add that I hate doing kegals, so anything that makes it more interesting/challenging/fun is a good thing.

I know it's hard to not believe that your body is changed forever - but it probably isn't. It takes a long time for some women to physically recover from pregnancy and child birth. 

You might also look at some toys with your husband and find something that might get you a little more excited.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

> Anyway, the one having issue is me.* I have never orgasmed* and since delivery, I seldom feel pleasure. Why?


If you've never had an orgasm, then that's the first step! You have to masturbate yourself so that you learn what feels good and how to have an orgasm. You can't teach him to give you an orgasm if you don't know how to.

Most women do not orgasm from vaginal penetration alone. Many, many women can only orgasm through clitoral stimulation, and penis in vagina doesn't lend itself to clitoral stimulation.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I suspect this may be difficult due to a language barrier?



yours4ever said:


> But sex after that felt different. I felt loose and I could feel his penis against my tummy skin...


What exactly does this mean? You felt his penis on your stomach DURING penetration while his penis was in your vagina which is not near your stomach? You felt his penis inside you AND you felt loose?





> But we continued to have sex and that feeling has stopped.


What feeling has stopped?




> Now I very seldom feel pleasure during vaginal intercouse...


Be more specific. Don't feel pleasure, okay so what do you feel? Does it hurt? Does it feel okay to good but not like it was?

I don't know where you are from but anatomically speaking, what you are describing sound like you had a difficult delivery, ripped and was sewn together again very badly causing scar tissue to build which then numbed the nerves in your vagina. This would be malpractice in the USA, so I would suggest you see a NEW GYN and talk this over with the doctor.




> It pleases me when he climaxed and I don't care if I orgasmed or not, nor do I care if I feel pleasure at all.
> Why now it is an issue? Well, it has been a few days occurrence recently that he didn't orgasm.
> 
> He told me he knows that I was not enjoying sex, hence he can't climax.Come to think of it, why only now..when the baby is now going to be one year old soon?
> ...



If a man can't tell his partner is not "feeling the love" it is a rejection of sorts. Secondarily, after the baby, it is possible that you require more stimulation in order to be sufficiently aroused. Since you've never had an orgasm, you are even less easily aroused. You both need to learn more about sex and sexual touching. You need to tell him what you like and what you want. You need to tell him you aren't orgasming and he needs to know he is a major contributor to that being at all possible.

Or are you avoiding this whole thing by blaming it on the baby?


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Maybe some books would help both of you?

I've heard good things about "She Comes First: the Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman".

Read it together and discuss it. You both might learn something since you were virgins at marriage, and it could help make discussing it easier.


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

I misread your post yesterday. I thought you said you hadn't had an orgasm since delivery. I didn't read that you had said not at all.

Do you mean you have never had one in your life or you have never had one with your husband?


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