# Splitwhilepregnant



## magsjones (Apr 11, 2011)

I write this because my husband won't tell me what is going on and I am frustrated. I have two sons (3 & 1) and I am 21 weeks pregnant with my daughter...all by him. I have always had to act like his mother and he never, ever does anything without being asked a million times. We do not do anything as a family unless it is to make him look good in other people's eyes. I work full time at nights, do all the cooking, cleaning and laundry, make sure all the bills get paid and take care of the kids by myself when I am not working. We got in a fight this past week when he got too drunk to make it home the night before and missed dinner the next night and thought it was funny because he was wasted. I asked him to leave right then and there. 
Unfortunately not soon after I began to have second thoughts and now have given him the option of marriage therapy. His response was that he was not ready to talk to me and he doesn't know what he wants. Now I totally put him in control of my fate and I hate it. I don't think there should be any question of what he should do. He has literally nothing without me. The house the cars are all mine and he has no money to fight me in court. I on the other hand do. 
So basically I am mad at myself for being so upset about this split. I don't need him and I am not even sure I want him in my life anymore, but I am so scared to have this baby on my own. I worry about what this will do to my kids and I am also mourning the dreams and visions I had for my future with him. How long will this sucky feeling in my gut last?


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

You guys need to get into MC to fix this. You need to get in there now.

I highly suggest the book "love must be tough" if you are religiously inclined. If he doesn't agree to MC, I suggest reading it anyways.

This really can get better and sounds fixable. My MC story is in my profile. 

It really sounds like he is being childish, selfish, and disrespectful. I think he is stuck in his own fog. 

This really can't continue. You might need to say "You have 3 days (or a week) to decide you want to join me in MC or move out"

I think when faced with having to take care of himself and deal with all the issues of moving, he will chose you.

Best of luck, and feel free to ask more questions or update.

Also, I don't really understand if you have split up or what happened? How long ago did you ask for MC?


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## magsjones (Apr 11, 2011)

So basically he will not go to a MC and I have officially asked hime to move out. I work evening and the last two nights he hasn't had time to watch his kids. He hasn't spent time with them since last wednesday. He is into drugs and I have been in denial about it...thinking it was just pot so its not a big deal. But tonight right in front of my mom (who was watching my kids) had people come in and out of our shed doing God knows what. She technically owns the property and now she is furious. He pretty much told me to f**k off when I called him and has no interest in fixing our marriage. He says I can't keep the kids from him, like he sees them anyway, but in all honestly I could with random drug testing. I don't want to get nasty but I might have to because my kids need me to protect them from the type of people he hangs around. I think this might get ugly.


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

I'm sorry. That sounds terrible.

If you are religiously inclined, I still strongly suggest "love must be tough".

I doubt it will get that ugly. A restraining order, he moves out, and the divorce will be clean if thats what ends up happening. 

Call the cops (especially if random people are doing drugs in the shed), change the locks, keep a phone nearby, and have your parents stay with you if thats on option.

Best of luck.


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