# Trust broken



## Brian61 (Nov 19, 2017)

Hi all first time here.
Have a partner of 6 years loved her dearly now not sure.
I got cancer last year and was in recovery till middle of July chemotherapy etc.Just discovered she was phoning and texting a guy since June of this year ,middle of the day e,venings even when she was with me in a restaurant. Confronted her about it ,said nothing happened ,asked her friend who said this guy was a pest like a bar room womaniser. I'm devastated all through this time she was having sex with me . This guy used to put up love hearts on photos she posted on Facebook, his comment's were girlish.
She won't discuss the issue.
Don't know what to do.


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## Slartibartfast (Nov 7, 2017)

..


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

If she won't discuss it, that is a big red flag.


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## Brian61 (Nov 19, 2017)

Slartibartfast said:


> What you don't say is why you appear to know she was having sex with this guy. Don't get into a messed up deal just because you're on different channels. What I mean is if she knows it's nothing, and you've convinced yourself it ultimate betrayal, and she sees it as silly and harping when you want to talk about, and you think she's hiding something, and so on and so on.


No I didn't know if she was having sex with this guy I was more hurt she went outside the relationship when I was in recovery.thanks for your contribution much appreciated.


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## KM87 (Nov 5, 2017)

I agree that her unwillingness to discuss this issue is alarming. I guess, if this were my situation, I'd feel like I was owed a discussion, at the VERY LEAST. And probably more than one, if your trust is to ever be restored. I'd have to tell my husband that if he's unwilling to discuss this issue until I'm satisfied (however long that takes) then i am unwilling to remain in the present relationship. Not necessarily advocating divorce, but I sure as hell wouldn't be cooking his meals, cleaning up after him, washing his laundry or warming his bed at night! Communication is so important in any relationship. Her refusal to communicate in a potentially difficult and devastating situation (for both of you) does not bode well for the future of the relationship.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

What a horrible and insensitive time to cheat. She might be justifying it out of her being upset/affected/feeling neglected due to circumstances of your cancer. 

Devestating illnesses do affect the whole family. People react in strange ways sometimes. Cheating should pretty much never be the right reaction to anything.

So what do you do? Take your time and make the right decision. If you want to forgive, you have a difficult and long road ahead of you. Yet, if it can be saved, it sometimes is worth the effort. Sorry you are here.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

When you stood full, tall and proud
She sang your praises, clear and aloud.

When you were ailing, when you were struck low.
Your energy, your vitality left you flat, your heart in slow tow.

She looked past you, she looked to another pretty boy.
She talked him up, sized him atop, all while sizing you smaller, 
She toyed with his ego, left yours to flounder, all this while being coy.

Coy with a barfly boy.

While ill, while down, you were usurped by a man with a hydroxl laced tongue and a floppy unwashed appendage.

And she, WW, with no regrets, no remorse given.

While you made love to her...she made love to him.
In her minds-eye.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Congrats on beating cancer!

Your one strong mofo!

So whats the plan?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Brian61 said:


> Hi all first time here.
> Have a partner of 6 years loved her dearly now not sure.
> I got cancer last year and was in recovery till middle of July chemotherapy etc.Just discovered she was phoning and texting a guy since June of this year ,middle of the day e,venings even when she was with me in a restaurant. Confronted her about it ,said nothing happened ,asked her friend who said this guy was a pest like a bar room womaniser. I'm devastated all through this time she was having sex with me . This guy used to put up love hearts on photos she posted on Facebook, his comment's were girlish.
> She won't discuss the issue.
> Don't know what to do.


She’s lying.

Dump her.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

She doesn't sound like a very good person. Who cheats on someone with cancer? Who knows maybe it's her MO and you just found out this time.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

ConanHub said:


> If she won't discuss it, that is a big red flag.


This.

No discussion=no reconciliation.

"Partner, since it it clear that you were unfaithful, yet are not willing to discuss it, then that tells me that he is more important to you than I. I won't share my partner with another man, so it is time for us to end things."


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

farsidejunky said:


> No discussion=no reconciliation.
> 
> "Partner, since it it clear that you were unfaithful, yet are not willing to discuss it, then that tells me that he is more important to you than I. I won't share my partner with another man, so it is time for us to end things."



:iagree: :iagree: :iagree: :iagree: 

This is so good, I'm QFT (quoting for truth)!


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## Louise McCann (Jul 23, 2017)

I am really sorry this happened to you. She sounds like an extremely selfish person. While cancer affects the entire family, instead of being there to support and love you unconditionally, all she could think about was HERSELF. 

If my hypothetical husband was fighting a life-threatening disease, I would be constantly be plagued with the possibility of losing him and be there for him while I could. I am truly sorry but your wife sounds like a psychopath.

I agree with what the rest have to say, if she still sweeps it under the rug and refuses to cut contact with him, you might need to start taking drastic measures. Give her an ultimatum or just file. I think you should do yourself a favour and set yourself free. Life is too short to stay with somebody who cannot love you the way you deserve...


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