# I didnt know where to put this....



## Chrissy30 (Oct 11, 2010)

To make a incredibly long story short.. Ive been with my husband for 4 years, married for 6 months. This are getting increasingly worse. I am 29 hes 28. He has two children from a previous marriage and i also have two. My kids live with me his however do not. He has become overly aggressive toward me, verbally and mentally abusive, nothing physical. He has become overbearing in what i buy for my children. Everytime they get something new he shouts at me, and makes me feel bad because i did not buy the same for his children. I am not a selfish person by no means, but i explained to him that if i buy my daughter a new pair of shoes, i should not have to buy his kids a new pair of shoes either. They live with their mother and she provides for them as well as their step dad. My husband gets his children every other weekend, and it has to be supervised by his parents. The ex wife decided to get a restraining order against him because she claims he was abusive to her and he may be to his children. We obtained a lawyer and proved this untrue but the restraining order stuck because the judge deemed she wanted to see results in three years. So... when they come here everything is turned upside down, my kids are treated as though they have to wait to do anything until they are here, they arent allowed to have anything new unless i can also buy for his kids. And dont get me wrong, i go out of my way to get them whatever they want for their birthdays and holidays, but just casual buying i can not afford to take care of them as well as mind, when it comes to things they already have at home. When they come here they have suit cases, three or four pairs of shoes, 10 outfits a piece all brand name. And my kids however dont get that because im not allowed to buy them anything.
I wanted to take my kids to disney land in the next couple of years but i have to wait until he can take his before i am allowed although they have gone several times already and my kids have not. He went from treated me horribly to now wanting me to deprive my kids. What can I do? I dont know what to do any more but i cant live like this....


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## GoDucks (May 19, 2010)

Don't know what to say, really, but want to show you support. It seems odd that you have to buy stuff for other kids when you have one that needs something... I have 2 kids, both from my marriage, and I don't buy them shoes at the same time if they don't need them.

I do know what it's like to have a controlling husband, and all I can advise is to trust your instincts. It's really hard when your heart is muddled in all this crap. It was a huge struggle for me for a long (long, long) time. But once I realized it was done - I was totally over the whole thing. Now, it cannot be done fast enough.

Best of luck to you, and you'll be ok, no matter what. To me, nothing is worse than my children seeing me treated badly, then to have them treated bad would be too much. Way too much.


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## dblkman (Jul 14, 2010)

what is odd Chrissy30 is that he is admittedly abusive to you but you claim he was not abusive to his ex? chances are if he is abusive to you it was NOT his first time nor would it be his last. I am not saying he is or was abusive to his kids but you can best believe he probably was to his ex. 

In any case you have a bad situation that unless it changes soon you will find yourself in too deep. abuse in any form is never right and often turns into physical abuse.


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