# Returning to UK



## Robert the Truce (Nov 29, 2021)

Hello,
British couple, have been in the USA a few years. She is returning to the UK, I am not. Two kids, both grown and in college. 
Would anyone have experience of how this goes?


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Robert the Truce said:


> Hello,
> British couple, have been in the USA a few years. She is returning to the UK, I am not. Two kids, both grown and in college.
> Would anyone have experience of how this goes?


If she’s still in denial about Covid then she may not be allowed entry and at the very least she will have to quarantine in a hotel at her own expense.
Is this a breakdown of your marriage or do you intend to keep trying. How does she expect to find a job in her field while she’s a cheerleader for the anti/vax covid denial brigade.


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## Robert the Truce (Nov 29, 2021)

Thank you. 
Does anyone have experience of this exactly? I could really do with advice


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## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

Reading your other post, we’ve just endured the world’s longest and harshest lockdown. 

So I have seen this happen in our immediate circle, largely due to the split in people’s opinions on whether the virus is real or not, as well as the impact of the new laws/lengthy lockdowns. So it’s quiet divided, and I do know of a few families who left Australia, cut off friends and family because they are absolutely convinced this is all a conspiracy, and if you wear a mask and follow the rules, you’re stupid, a sheep, and need to ‘wake up’. I am sure that in a year, 2 years, 10 years, they will find themselves complaining about their new country too, or something else, or everything else. Some people are born chronic complainers, always unhappy and angry about something. 

So it’s been pretty bad here. Many of the people with this line of thinking have obsessively talked about migrating elsewhere, others actually have. 

I am saddened to say, and another poster mentioned it, for some people, this is their chance to shine and be important. So like your wife, if they’ve perhaps been at the bottom of their career, or were at the bottom of their med-school, or they were the kid in school who was ashamed because they couldn’t read, or the angry girl who didn’t get as many dates as the other girl - now they get to be in charge! And smart! And they know more and nobody else does. Now they belong to something and they’re finally superior. 

So let them be superior. Let her be superior. It’s one of those fights where nobody wins, if you engage in the fight. A sad situation for your family, I’m very sorry. It may be for the best that you have this time apart. 

Here’s a situation where you don’t have to be right. But do walk away from this, stay quietly on the bottom, and really focus on what your day to day life entails. She’s blowing her life up, that’s been coming for a while. I hope you and your kids will find some relief. She is abandoning you all, and that is very sad. But let it happen and grieve privately.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Where are the children going to live when not at college? Is she divorcing you?


As for the covid thing. She will find it similar here as there. 
My feeling is that it is an illness but that the reaction to it had been vastly over the top. This latest strain, omnicrom, is basically a cold. They are acting here as if it's the black death.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Experience with what? A couple living in separate countries, divorce, or what?

Your question is not clear, at least to me.


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## Robert the Truce (Nov 29, 2021)

Livvie said:


> Experience with what? A couple living in separate countries, divorce, or what?
> 
> Your question is not clear, at least to me.


She has moved to the UK divorce seems next.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

So are you looking for divorce advice?

See an attorney right away since this is an international divorce and is going to be complicated.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Robert the Truce said:


> Hello,
> British couple, have been in the USA a few years. She is returning to the UK, I am not. Two kids, both grown and in college.
> Would anyone have experience of how this goes?


Why is she returning and you staying?

Will you file for divorce or her? As it stands you might be able to file under abandonment, but a lawyer would be able to advise on that.


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## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

I think this thread is getting detailed by people’s thoughts and opinions in the virus… which is not what OP is asking for.


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## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

Can we stick to helping the OP with his question? This thread has turned into a political debate.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Quit the threadjacks, please.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Since your children are grown they are not subject to child custody laws which would have prevented her from moving the children any further away than maybe 30 miles. So it's a simple matter of whether you just let this go and don't do anything or whether you file for divorce. That seems to be where it's headed. Sorry you're going through this. The only way you're going to find out anything more about what the divorce will entail is to contact a family law attorney. She will have to be served with papers. I'm not sure how that works when it's international.


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## Robert the Truce (Nov 29, 2021)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Since your children are grown they are not subject to child custody laws which would have prevented her from moving the children any further away than maybe 30 miles. So it's a simple matter of whether you just let this go and don't do anything or whether you file for divorce. That seems to be where it's headed. Sorry you're going through this. The only way you're going to find out anything more about what the divorce will entail is to contact a family law attorney. She will have to be served with papers. I'm not sure how that works when it's international.


My understanding is that the USA would be a far better place for me, specifically NC rather than the UK. 
Does anyone have any experience of the two places?


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Robert the Truce said:


> My understanding is that the USA would be a far better place for me, specifically NC rather than the UK.
> Does anyone have any experience of the two places?


I prefer Georgia. Either middle or southern. I’ve lived in North Carolina and it’s ok.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

How long has you lived in US. If long enough to establish residency for the state, you could i guess file in your state. It may do you better than her filing in UK. I wonder if she would automatically be considered a resident if had been living in US past year?


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## Robert the Truce (Nov 29, 2021)

Divinely Favored said:


> How long has you lived in US. If long enough to establish residency for the state, you could i guess file in your state. It may do you better than her filing in UK. I wonder if she would automatically be considered a resident if had been living in US past year?


A few years in NC. 
it seems is it generally better to do it here for me rather than UK


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I think you're right. NC is a good place to live. I know it must be really hard to make decisions under these circumstances, but I don't see the point in you following her to the UK.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Robert the Truce said:


> A few years in NC.
> it seems is it generally better to do it here for me rather than UK


Tgen file before she does in UK.


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## Robert the Truce (Nov 29, 2021)

What a great Christmas. 
The kids are still here and grown so much that they are being supportive.
It is the first time since I was single that I have not had expectations from people of making them happy. 
We all had a great time


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## Robert the Truce (Nov 29, 2021)

Is it normal that I am feeling such relief?


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## Robert the Truce (Nov 29, 2021)

I spoke with a lawyer. it is strange that i am feeling excited. is that normal?


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Robert the Truce said:


> I spoke with a lawyer. it is strange that i am feeling excited. is that normal?


I think it's pretty normal if you resented the previous status quo. If you are excited about coming back to the UK, then it's not normal...


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## Robert the Truce (Nov 29, 2021)

In Absentia said:


> I think it's pretty normal if you resented the previous status quo. If you are excited about coming back to the UK, then it's not normal...


i have started work for a danish company, so i am getting a bit more european again


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Robert the Truce said:


> She has moved to the UK divorce seems next.


@Robert the Truce, have you sat down and talked about what's next? Maybe you should? 
It is difficult for anonymous strangers to tell you what next. Has she/you done any research on what to expect?
There is a British Expats website which may be useful. British Expat Discussion Forum

YOu can ask all sorts of practical questions there. Are you British also?


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Robert the Truce said:


> Is it normal that I am feeling such relief?


Yes, if you were estranged and fighting, etc


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

aine said:


> Yes, if you were estranged and fighting, etc


The op has been banned for being a sock puppet and having multiple accounts.


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