# what do i do now



## stillhurtin (Feb 10, 2009)

i feel things falling apart, i feel i have givin her space. mabey. i think she still hates me. i call everynight at 8 pm to tell my kids goodnight, and i love them. she has answered 3 times. she will not talk to me. i think she is getting bad advice from her family, and friends. should i go no contact, or what. thought about writting a letter, and mailing it. not a sappy love letter, kind of an apolligy. i just want my wife back!!!!!!!!!


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## skinman (Nov 5, 2008)

Stillhurtin...

I know how you feel friend... You need to concentrate on yourself man.. let her go and do what she needs dont write the letter... most likely she wont read it and will only think less of you.... You need to GAL.... get a life... go out and do things for yourself it will help try and not to think of what she is doing and dont give her the power she knows she has... Let her wonder about you what you are doing make her miss you... If she knows you are there waiting pining for her she wont even think of coming back..


I know its hard my stbxw and I have been separated over 4 months now and I will be honest there are days its tough and i want to call her even for something stupid but mine has found someone else..... it breaks my heart knowing that each weekend when I have my daughter she is spending the night with him..... try and not think of her.... get on with your life find a hobby... I know its hard because i am struggling myself.. my wife wont even talk with now after almost 16 years together she hates me...... 

Whatever you do if you write the letter dont send it...... it will only give her more power over you tear it up and write it again if that will make you feel better to get it out but dont send it. I sent my wife many emails and letter telling her how sorry I was and wished things were different she never acknowledged them and the hatread is still there.........

I wish I could offer more advice I know your hurting because i hurt myself but I wont allow her to see how much i do hurt...Dont allow yours the satisfaction either.....

Good luck friend remain strong and concentrate on your children......


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## stillhurtin (Feb 10, 2009)

thanks skinman,
we have been seperated for a month. i am living at my parents house. which really sucks. meanwhile she is at home with the kids, and her new friend(which use to be a friend of mine). she still expects me to pay the mortgage, and all that stuff. i refuse. we go for our innitial hearing the 26th. i have good dreams of her every night. we are having a very difficult coustady problem. she thinks i should have them every other weekend and every wensday for a few hours. i want more than that. i just really miss her, and all the good times i know we could have.


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## StrongEnough (Nov 25, 2008)

stillhurtin said:


> thanks skinman,
> we have been seperated for a month. i am living at my parents house. which really sucks. meanwhile she is at home with the kids, and her new friend(which use to be a friend of mine). she still expects me to pay the mortgage, and all that stuff. i refuse. we go for our innitial hearing the 26th. i have good dreams of her every night. we are having a very difficult coustady problem. she thinks i should have them every other weekend and every wensday for a few hours. i want more than that. i just really miss her, and all the good times i know we could have.


I understand your hurt and what you are going through. I suggest that you take up a new hobby or spend some time doing something for you. Do something you love or have wanted to try for years. Reconnect with yourself and work on making yourself happy. Be the best you possible. If it works out great, you are a better husband and father. If not, then you are able to know what you are capable of and are happy being you.


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## stillhurtin (Feb 10, 2009)

just something i wrote


a man leaning over a picture, cross legged and in his pj's. around his shoulder you see a picture of love. wedding day happiness. a tear drop falls, like a simple ripple in time. the photo comes in to focus. her half washed away to white, all that is left is partital hand with ring. the lower half of her dress is gone. dissappeared instantly. slowly as the tear drops fall more and mor of the photo fades. thread by thread. lace by lace. bead by bead. his finger gently glides across her face. with a soft i love you he lays the picture down. gets up from his bed, down the hall to the first of his two born. opens the door and kisses him goodnight. then to the second. sits by his side says a prayer, and kisses him. i wish your mother was here. then off to bed, closes his eyes where he can love her again.

to my wife with out her knowing. i love you
chad


depression has set in, can ya tell lol


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## Sportsman (Feb 10, 2009)

I understand how you feel, if you read my thread you can see that I am going through a similar situation along with Skinman. It really sucks, for me if you take away the kids I almost wish I had never met her. My wife has turned into this mean creature that I do not recognize. All I can say is stay strong and focus on the poitives if there are any. Its hard for me to pump you up and tell you it will be fine, when I dont believe that based on my situation. All I can say is keep coming to this site and hopefully through this forum you can find some relief. That is all that I am doing now.


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## stillhurtin (Feb 10, 2009)

i miss her so much, everything i see, hear, touch, smell reminds me of her. what can i do???????


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