# Feel like I rebounded.



## d1221 (Mar 13, 2011)

Somedays I feel like I am doing ok. The past week emotionally I feel like I just found out. Sad loss of appt. I am just so numb...so numb. We signed papers to file on monday. He moved out 2 wks ago with other woman. It just amazes me how he disregarded me and our life. He did nothing in this process but take his stuff and leave. Then to think of my soon to b ex already living with his misstress started new life etc..

I hate that I am so sad that the thoughts replay in my mind constantly in my mind. I am trying to sort things in my mind of what happened because I just discovered 2nd affair a couple of months ago now this. I just feel like I wtf constantly......
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## wunderbar (May 30, 2011)

I was in a long term relationship where he cheated on me for over 2 years, but he choose to stay with me. I went through 1.5 years of anguish trying to forgive, trying to move on, trying to eliminate the thoughts about him with another woman. It was so hard that eventually I had nothing left to give and ended the relationship anyway. 

On the flip side, I've also heard of OW's torturing the man for years to come because he didn't leave soon enough, etc, etc. So while it seems like it may be rosy on his side and not with you I assure you karma will catch up with him in the future.

You are the one with a clean slate so to speak. While it may not seem like it now, you'll be happier than him down the road (but at that point you probably won't even care what he's doing). The emotions are a roller coaster, but as you ride it out it gets a lot easier to handle.


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## d1221 (Mar 13, 2011)

Thanks wunderbar.

I know divorce was the best thing to do especially sitting in the lawyers office and he tells me he didnt want it to be a 3rd time. Who says that I mean really...

I truly pray I thrive from this. Right now it feels like being in dark valleys in emotional limbo. I will be glad when my heart has mended and I am off this emotional roller coaster.

Everyone talks about Karma, I just truly hope people who have violated vows or loved ones are held accountabe for his or her actions. Its like being hit by semi truck and having to go through physical therapy. He truly decided to quit, gave up & started over.

The hard part of this is gaining idea and clarity of my life now....starting over. Emotional rollercoaster sucks...but from everything I have been reading indicates this is apart of heaing process that cannot be avoided.
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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

d1221 said:


> I know divorce was the best thing to do especially sitting in the lawyers office and he tells me he didnt want it to be a 3rd time. *Who says that*


A d-chebag. 

Woman, I know you are down right now but he just did you a huge damn favor! Since he's a serial cheat, it's likely he is going to cheat ON Her or she will cheat on him. They will prob have serious trust issues somewhere down the line and it's going to be awesome when it shakes out  

If you have kids, they will prob resent OW and she will KNOW it and always hate they started as an affair. Know that. I have never met anyone who's started a relationship via an affair (or read about them) that doesn't regret that they started as an affair. Eventually the new wears ofof and all they hav eis their personalities to deal with. Hehehehe.

But right nw--focus on you. Treat yourself to something awesome this weekend and chin up. A new chapter in your life is just getting started and all the pages are blank for you to fill up


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## d1221 (Mar 13, 2011)

Thanks Jellybeans. No we don't have kids. When we were at the lawyers on Monday he was like you should have just given me a baby. I was like for what to make things more complicated now because of what you have done multiple times. Perhaps at some point I will be blessed to have one etc.. but honestly, the way things turned out I am glad I was waiting to finish school which I did and we were suppose to start trying next year. I guess we both had different plans ...LOL!!

I hate to bury my former dreams in a time capsule but it seems like that is the only thing to do. I have a stepson for 11+ years so I am sure he will be hurt when he finds out all about this.

I hope nothing good comes from the "new life" he started. Just because it was done off of false pretenses, lies etc... Hopefully when the newness wears off he will see. I just want him to be held accountable for what he did, people should not be able to do that to others with no regard or consequences. That is not right at all. Right now it just feels like his is living the good life new chic.. unlike the emotional roller coaster and baggage I have been left with to clean up.

You stated it perfectly this is the life of book new chapters to write and add new characters. My pages are blank right now which is to be expected.


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## BigToe (Jun 2, 2011)

Take comfort in knowing you now can find a man who will love you, respect you, and not cheat on you. It's natural to feel the way you do, but Jellybeans is correct that he and his new woman are carrying an awful lot of baggage and the foundation of their new life together is deception. When the newness wears off it probably won't be long before one of them is on the prowl again.


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## d1221 (Mar 13, 2011)

Thanks BigToe.

I believe that can happen in the future. I do not feel like (all mean cheat..I feel like that is some bs.com). 

Him and my dad use to be best friends but they grew apart a few years ago. I have avoided telling my family the details outside of my parents (needed support) since things happened really fast. My dad says its a coward approach when someone just walks away and not try to communicate if he was unfulfilled/not happy or fight for their marriage. It is easy to walk away.

I have a pretty good relationship with his side of the family. Mine not so much they just never clicked. The crazy thing is that he feels like my parents should have tried to console him during all of this. I think WTF did he bump his head seriously!! 

I truly appreciate all of the support in the forum this is kind of my first heartbreak etc... to this magnitude that shifts your life etc... So I am working through it, reading a lot of books on rebuilding after divorce to try and understand a bit more of what is impacting me on my end. I have also started to journal. I figure that will help because he has moved on but I have a lot inside of me I have to release one way or another.


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

He says you should have given him a baby??? He is totally sadistic and that comment makes me sorta sick. Good riddance to this horrible person. I know you loved him at one point so there has to be some good in him somewhere but it sounds pretty well buried now.

You'll get through this like the rest of us. It's just so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel sometimes. That's how I feel today :/


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## d1221 (Mar 13, 2011)

Staircase you are right, that is sadistic of him. This is his 2nd marriage he had a child from the 1st so that proves a child does not make anyone stay faithful in a relationship. I know at some point in last marriage there were issues but you only know what people tell you is there truth of what happened...oh well.

All of us will get through this. The light at the end tunnel should beam of brightness so light we come out wearing sun glasses.
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