# Need some advice...



## insideout (Apr 4, 2012)

My husband and I have been married for 5 years, together almost 6. From the beginning I was having doubts but I went ahead and married him. We now have 2 kids together ages 4 and 2. Since the beginning I have been the sole financial provider-sure, there have been times when he's gone out and gotten a job but in these 5 years the longest he's held a job is 2 months. I was laid off at one point and he couldn't find a job and my mom had to support us for 3 months until I was able to get back to work. He's a huge pothead and smokes several times a day. He's also very controlling-I can go to visit my mom and not even be there yet and he's texting me, asking me what I'm doing. He says I'm his only friend and won't even consider going out and doing anything without me. He's smothering me and I have asked for space and he is unwilling to give it to me. It's to the point where I can't stand being around him and I'm totally uninterested in sex. I've told him before that I don't want to be with him anymore and he threatens to kill himself because "if he doesn't have me and the kids he has no one." He really has nowhere to go if we aren't together which makes me feel bad for basically kicking him out in the street. The last time I told him I wanted him to leave he took off walking, then calls me from a pay phone and calls me names, saying I'm a piece of s*** then hung up on me. I can't handle this anymore and I know I don't want my kids around this any longer. I just don't know how to get away from him.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

For your sake and the children's you must get away.

Does he have family he could stay with? If they're far away, do you have money to buy him a plane ticket?

You can also sit down and talk to him and tell him he needs to do the following or the marriage is over:

1 - Stop smoking pot
2 - Get a job and HOLD it
3 - Begin individual and marriage counseling NOW

Take care of yourself and the kids


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## soconfused1984 (Apr 19, 2012)

you need to get out!!! if you're scared of him, maybe get a restriction notice or something, do you have family you can stay meanwhile you get a place with your kids? save some cash if possible, plan it a bit and I know you can do it, please do it for your kids! Pray for courage!...my brother used to be just like you described your husband and he had an addiction too! my sister in law left him and he went to jail after that, he was good and he did change for good!! he is the most wonderfull father ever, stopped his addiction and is a very nice person. He used to threat to kill himself and throw big huge temper tantrums!!. I'm sure you and your kids will be much happier with out him, if you stay with him, your kids will start thinking its ok for him to act like that! Good luck!:smthumbup:


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