# Exchanging Kids



## vn1955 (Jun 30, 2014)

Going through a divorce after 19 years of marriage. We have an 8 year old and 14 year old. My question is: How do you exchange kids? Do you allow your stbx to knock on the door? Do they wait in the car and kids go to them? Do you go to a neutral location?

We separated due to his affair and he moved out. I really don't like when he walks up to my door to pick-up the kids. I've asked him to wait in the car, but continues to knock on the door because he says the kids need help with their bags. Should I be more assertive about my request or do I just let it go?

Any advice would be appreciated.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Have you filed for divorce?

My son's father would use the times he comes to my door to pick up our son to say rude things to me. So I had my lawyer add a stipulation to the divorce that my ex was not to come to my door. He could call and let me know that he was outside and then our son would walk out to his car. It was the same when I picked up our son.

There is no reason that an 8 year old and 14 year old cannot carry their own bags.


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## Love4Mywife (Aug 25, 2014)

It depends on your personal situation I suppose VN.. If you don't feel comfortable, then put your foot down, or you go to the car and get their stuff if they genuinely need help..

When I do kid exchange, myself and W have a coffee and a chat about things.. That is in our situation though..


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## Revamped (Jun 19, 2014)

We are responsible for our own parenting time. The x comes to pick up the kids here at 4 on Friday. On Sunday at 6, I go pick them up from his place. We both just wait in the car...


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## LBHmidwest (Jan 3, 2014)

If it gets ugly the exchange will be held against you.

Best is a 30-45 second pleasant chat, that's it.

Hi, be good for your dad, love you and will miss you. Bye Dad.

Kids want to see you civil. I can give better advice than take.

My kids won't go to mom sometimes and it's created a nightmare.


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