# Sex Addiction Experiences



## justcallme.Vi (Jun 17, 2017)

Looking for others to share their experiences in dealing with sex addiction (not porn)... do's and don'ts that might be insightful.
Our 11 yr anniversary is tomorrow, and my husband and I have been dealing with his going out and having sex with others as a means of dealing with current stress and past childhood rape and neglect. 
We want to continue together in our marriage, and each have our own emotional and communication issues to work through along with this, and I am still at times overwhelmed and in need of perspective.
He told me 6 months ago how this started 5 yrs ago. He is primarily seeking bdsm experiences that I am not comfortable doing, though I myself am on the lower end of that spectrum.

Not ready to share much more detail (it would just be a snowball of life stories and emotions), I'm just looking for anyone that's dealt with similar issues and what did or didn't help.


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## pbj2016 (May 7, 2017)

I don't have this situation but you going out and having sex or him? 

Either way it is never ok to go outside your marriage regardless of past issues. If you both want to play, then open your marriage but it should be a joint decision and both of you must decide what the rules are going forward. 

Sounds like you both need individual counseling and those issues resolved before you really can commit to each other. 


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## xMadame (Sep 1, 2016)

Has he seen a doctor for PTSD?

Addictions are quite often associated with PTSD, and in order to deal with the addiction, you need to deal with the trauma that is causing the addiction. 


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

people often call something an addiction as a means to legitimize and justify bad behavior and bad character. 

It's basically saying - "I'm not a douche that screws around and cheats on my spouse, I am addict and have a disease. Now if you will excuse me, I am going to go up to the bar and try to pick up some skanky drunk chick and bang her in the lady's room." 

Even if sex addiction is a real thing, that doesn't obligate you to accept it. If you don't want your partner screwing other people, find a partner that doesn't cheat. You are under no obligation to remain with someone that mistreats, disrespects and exposes you to disease. 

If he has a "disease," how much time and effort is he spending seeing doctors and therapists and other professionals to treated for this so-called 'condition?'


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

He doesn't sound like a sex addict so much as a kinkster who gets his needs met outside the marriage.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

I have delt with it from your side. I also had a spouse who had an affair and blamed it one her childhood issues. It was a BS excuse of course and I didn't fall for any of it. You are being snowballed by your husband who is trying to excuse his behavior.


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