# No money, no happiness



## No Light (Dec 10, 2010)

Long story short...I hate my life. I don't need to get into the wheres and whys, but in a nutshell, my husband has emptied all of our savings and sunk it into his dying business, that he refuses to see as done, toe-up, fini.

He hasn't paid our mortgage in over a year (don't ask me how - he doesn't tell me anything - I just find things out as I go along). So before we get evicted he got his father to put up the money for a condo for us with the stipulation that the mortgage payment come out of my disability check direct to his father. Ok, fine. But my husband hasn't paid a household bill in years. His only responsibility was the mortgage, which he didn't do. I've been paying all the utilities, medical bills (no insurance), etc.

Obviously (to me anyway), I'm the one getting rooked here by paying his father and that will be my entire disability check and I know my husband will say he doesn't have money for anything. His business always came first and does. At one time it was booming but within the last 4 years he's losing more money left & right but lies to everyone (his dad) that he's making money.

The closing will be any time now and I'm terrified I'll never get out. I do want to get a job but it won't be easy getting one that actually pays what I'm worth. Plus, any money I have that he knows I have he takes. He sneaks it out of my purse, has taken it out of my checking account etc. At one point he almost got me arrested for kiting checks. This guy doesn't get it and will never grow up. I tell him he needs life insurance and his answer is that his father will pay those expenses. However, he hasn't filed taxes in years and I don't want to be responsible for his stupidity. 

My family won't help me. He owes everyone money - including my sister - who feels that he rooked her too. So I'll end up paying her back $14,000 somehow.

I can't just get any apartment. I have several cats that I will not give up. Its my philosphy and my responsibility. Plus, if it weren't for them, I doubt I'd still be alive. Matter of fact, I know I wouldn't. 

Anyway - with no money, a measly disability check and in debt, how do I get away from this creep before I do decide to "check out permanently"? I've been thinking of nothing else. 

Please - I don't have money for a therapist, state run ones suck and take forever to get to (my disability is borderline personality disorder) and state facilities don't deal with that, and don't say I should get rid of my cats. That is out of the question. Even temporarily. They have saved me more than I have saved them.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

Most lawyers will give an initial consultation for free. Find one. See him or her.


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

stay strong VT is right, a lot lawyers will consult free, it is very hard to give up our companions, but the greater good of you, this might be a strong poss., have you looked at...umm, well we call them 2 family flats, its one house and its one living space one one floor, and the second upstairs..

sometimes, thoes landlords are not too harsh or overly critical, and most are swayed with cash up front, and most dont care if you have pets, because they rent to mostly familes, and kids do more damage than cats...lol..

also check studios, uhh, one room apts, in larger buildings, they will be run down a bit, but they do question, and dont care as long as you pay on the first in cash..carry on, and they are usually cheap, and some include heat, or electricity, or at least cooking gas, some have cable...you could also look at hotels that have been converted into apts, they are likely to include everything and all you have to do is move in.

good luck, i hope one of these is the answer you seek...


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## sbbs (Sep 21, 2009)

Wow--what a terrible situation! You really have to get out of there ASAP.

If you haven't done this already--get your own bank account that your husband doesn't know about. Move whatever money there is in your old accounts (the ones your husband has access to) and deposit all your checks in that account. Monitor the joint account you have with your husband at least twice a day. As soon as money appears in that account, withdraw it or use instant electronic transfers to pay utilities, etc.

DO NOT close on the condo. Just don't. And keep him from closing, too, if at all humanly possible. Making major purchases right now is, of course, something to avoid. 

I know you said that your family can't help you, because your husband has already taken money from them. But have you told them what's been going on? They may be more sympathetic after that. Or are there other things going on with them?

And see a lawyer. Pronto. Find someone who does both divorce and bankruptcy, in case you have to file for both.


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## No Light (Dec 10, 2010)

Thanks for all of your suggestions.

The closing on the condo has been delayed again, which I'm hoping is a sign and will be to my advantage.

Since my father-in-law is lending "us" the down payment and putting the mortgage in his name because my dear husband screwed up my credit - I'm going to try to talk to husband tomorrow and see if he can get the loan from his dad to give me the money. I pretty much know right now that it won't fly, but I know his father is pretty fed up with this closing & real estate deal anyway. (they just want more & more proof of income - this guy can buy & sell a block of houses if he wanted to!)

Thing is, husband's family doesn't like me at all. Long story but rumors started by his sister went uncontested by my husband so as "not to rock the boat". I finally got to know his aunt & uncle a while back and they were completely surprised to find out that I wasn't the ***** I was made out to be. Of course, two days later, his aunt died and the rest of the family never really became aware of the situation. The uncle is very old.

As for my family, I have 7 brothers & sisters. Most of who are not in a position to help me and a few of whom wouldn't help me if I were dying in the gutter. 

My mom died last year and her house will be going up for sale. One sis wanted to buy it but two other sisters refused it. I'm almost on the verge of offering to rent it until its sold, but I know that won't go over very well and may just rip whats left of my family apart. (long story)

But again, I will not give up my companions (cats). They are my reason for life right now. Otherwise, I really couldn't care if I wake up tomorrow or not.


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