# I saw Daddy kissing another woman...



## artemisxlr8 (Sep 30, 2008)

I took my 3 1/2 year old son to Disneyland yesterday and we saw lots of people kissing. No biggie, see it all the time. Then my sons says "I no like when daddy kisses her"... I asked "who", he tells me her name is Brenda or Brandi. I asked him to describe her, is she a friend at school, or something he saw on TV. He says no. "she's large, big boobies, short hair" were some of the few. He says he told his dad that basicacally daddy shouldn't be doing that. My son says he's gone to this ladies house a few times. Strangely, yesterday morning, before we went to Disneyland, his dad was making breakfast and it steamed up the room and when I walked up to the sliding glass window I saw "I love Daddy and Atredies" with a happy face. I did not write this. Only my mother and my goddaughter have been in our new place. My mom hates him and my goddaughter said she certainly didn't do it.

So when I txted my son's father he went ballistic. All I said was the our son had said he was kissing another lady and he didn't like it. All of a sudden a text or two later, my son and I are "****ed in the head" and that "I"m not going to put up with stupid and insecure accusations." I was totally shocked. I figured my son was just recalling a tv show. Then when his father got home, then the things he said floored me. 

He didn't ask my son, "why did you say that?" at least ferret out why, if my son was making it up, why he would say such things to mommy. Instead, he tore into my son, telling him how he must be this horrible dad, who never does anything nice, then he starts listing all the nice things he does for my son. Then he says "do you remember when you said you thought you saw the ghost at the last apartment, and I told you daddy will protect you?" "Who do you think has been protecting you"... I was like"WHATTT THEEE F**KKK!!!" I asked him to stop talking about such a thing, then he says, "well, what you did today will send daddy away and then no one will protect you." then he goes off on how our relationship is already hanging by a thread and that he was destroying it with this lie. How my son was evil, and spoiled, and that he didn't want to have anything to do with him and that maybe the next guy (THE NEXT GUY?? WHATT??) will be nicer.

Needless to say I was beyond freaked out. I asked and then begged him to stop, that what he was saying was verbal abusive and down right torturing our son. He then told me that I'm coddling him and that he's a mommy's boy. That he needs to respect him.

Ok, to me, that sounds like a man who is guilty as all hell. He also said some weirder stuff.. "so what does she look like, is she pretty, am I at least getting someone who is pretty?" then things implying I"m erasing his phone messages, which I don't even check his phone. Stuff that doesn't make any sense what so ever. 

To me, sounds like he didn't realize our son would ever say anything, and then he just went bonkers and then try to make it sound like my son made it up.

I asked my son again today, "did you make this up to getting daddy in tourble" he said "no, mommy." He insists it has happened several times and that when he watches tv, they are laying down kissing on the bed.

My son has a great imagination, but something is telling me that this isn't his imagination.

Has anyone ever experienced anything like this, and what was the result?

d


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

Oh my goodness. I am 100% sure he was cheating.

And you need to go to counseling right now.

Don't ever beg him to stop again, he's being abusive and manipulative.

If I were you I would leave and go and stay somewhere safe, away from him. Or kick him out.

tell him you aren't sure you want to be married to a lying cheating abuser. If he wants to be with you you, he needs counselling, to disclose everything, to cut contact with the other woman, to apologise to your son. To give you access to all of his emails and phone records immediately. 

Please do not sweep this under the rug.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Your old man is cheating on you. Go James Bond on his butt and start gathering evidence so you can confront him with undenialbe proof.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Ewww, I'd leave just on the basis of problem resolution and parenting. Honestly.

Not sure why there is a rogue link in my post.


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## old timer (Nov 23, 2012)

the guy said:


> Your old man is cheating on you. Go James Bond on his butt and start gathering evidence so you can confront him with undenialbe proof.


:iagree:


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## ReGroup (Dec 6, 2012)

Ask for this thread to be moved to the CWI Section. You'll receive good advice over there.
He reacted like any cheater would.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## N8vee (Nov 4, 2012)

He went ballistic because you found out.
Your child has no reason to lie at this age.
I would get away from him ASAP, with your child. If he reacted like this over a conversation, don't wait around to see how he reacts to the possibility of you guys separating.
Stay strong and be safe.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

This post was in the "going through divorce or separation" forum... Are you separated?

C


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## artemisxlr8 (Sep 30, 2008)

We were separated and have been going through conseling, and he only recently moved back in. He had never said things like he did ever, that's what I was stunned about. We agreed to give it a try. But then this happened.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Are you two in some kind of couples/marriage counseling? That would be a safe place to discuss difficult topics. The therapist would (should) prevent him from being verbally abusive, and would give you a sounding board in individual sessions to get some perspective on things.

Have you considered a polygraph?

FWIW I would believe your son. At that age he has no reason and no life experience to make such a thing up.

Regardless of whether your husband cheated in any way, his abusiveness towards you both (and especially towards the young boy) is extremely worrisome. If you were my sister or daughter I would advise you to leave him permanently asap because of that abusive behavior alone.


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## artemisxlr8 (Sep 30, 2008)

Thank you all for your input. I do agree with most of you about having hm leave the home. Yes, we are is couples counseling. And I also agree this should be brough up there. In the meantime, I just make sure that my son is not alone with his father. Even this morning my son is telling me that he thinks his daddy is mean. He loves his dad, he says as much. But he doesn't like him around.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

How could he go off on your little boy that way! I suppose guilt makes people do unspeakable things. So sorry you are dealing with this.


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## ATC529R (Oct 31, 2012)

well, if you were seperated...it probably happened then. kids don't have the best reference of when or where something happened......

but what he did to your son is scary.


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