# severe anxiety help



## MiseryIsHere (Jun 20, 2013)

I have lost 18 lbs in just under two weeks. I started at a healthy weight. I cannot sleep. I cannnot function or concentrate. I cant keep it together. I fall apart constantly. My husband left me. He wont talk with me. 

What can I do to at least calm these nerves/anxiety? It feels like my body is crashing down.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

Sorry not a lady but try a natural product called Calms Forte or Nerve Tonic. You can find it at GNC.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hopefull363 (Feb 13, 2012)

See your primary care doctor ASAP. Try to eat small meals. I know it's hard to think about food when your stomach is in a knot. Tell us what happened. Sometimes getting it out can help.


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## MiseryIsHere (Jun 20, 2013)

Ive explained my story in other threads. I dont know what else to do. I dont even know how to get through a day anymore. I dont have insurance.


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## pollywog (May 30, 2013)

Drink some smoothies or shakes, they will help you even you cannot eat solid food. 

Sorry this happened to you.


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## mtpromises (May 27, 2013)

Go to Walmart and buy Melatonin it's a natural sleep aid. Turn in early at night (around 8 or 9 pm) and try listening to soft music like jazz and set it at a low volume. Can you stomach some sleepy time tea? You can buy that at Walmart too. I second the smoothies idea.


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## MiseryIsHere (Jun 20, 2013)

@LanieB..
Thats what Ive been doing..trying to force myself to eat something. I am finding liquids are the only thing I can swallow so Ive been living on little bits of almond milk. I forget to eat. It's amazing how fast we can lose weight. I had clothes that were too small two weeks ago that are starting to hang off of me. I know I should be eating but the thing is, I have a hard time caring. I have been going for walks which helps just to be out. However, I feel like I really need something for at night and even in the middle of the night. Thats when these attacks really hit. Ill be taking Benedryl tonight.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

1) Aerobic exercise such as running on a treadmill.

2) Xannax for the panic attacks or when you're so anxious you feel like you're going to jump out of your skin

Not at the same time though.

Typical dose is .25 mg and break the tablet in half it will be more than enough.


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## MiseryIsHere (Jun 20, 2013)

Thanks...is Xanax prescription?


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## Hopefull363 (Feb 13, 2012)

Xanax is a prescription. They are easy to become addicted too. Be careful with them. You may need an antidepressant to help you over this hurdle. Is there a clinic you can go to since you don't have insurance?


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## MiseryIsHere (Jun 20, 2013)

i have a Take-Care clinic near me..I dont know if they prescribe this kind of stuff though. I know this sounds like a stupid question but what exactly do antidepressents do..make you relax? Xanax is an antidepressant too, correct?


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## MiseryIsHere (Jun 20, 2013)

Especially at night, I wake up in an absolute panic. My body aches horrendously. My heart feels like it will explode. I am just tense all over and cannot calm down. Is this an anxiety attack?


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

YES

Xanax is strictly a fast acting short term anti anxiety medication.

Antidepressants make you feel less depressed.. actually they also make you a bit less happy too, they sort of flatten your emotions on both ends. Some antidepressants increase anxiety and some cause a person to have suicidal thoughts. I know, seems somewhat counterproductive.


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## FemBot (May 1, 2013)

Antidepressants work at giving your brain more serotonin. Anxiety is blocking that for you. Get to a DR asap. I'd suggest natural remedies but they are slow to make a difference. Start taking a multivitamin, especially a B complex...


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

I can take meds or vitamins without food... so, maybe you should try some ensure? That way you can get some nutrients and vitamins in a liquid.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Misery, I suffer from anxiety. It SUCKS royally and you feel out of your mind. 

Is there a way you can get insurance? For medicatin if it continues? 

In the interim, exercise. It will help take the edge off. Try to busy your thoughts when it comes out. Find out if there is a trigger (no doubt your husband leaving is probably the main one). When you get negative thoughts, try to think of something positive. Try some breathing exercises, yoga.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

MiseryIsHere said:


> Thanks...is Xanax prescription?


Yes. Only to be used as necessary. 

There are medications that you can take daily though that help like Lexapro. 

Has anyone used LexApro for anxiety and how did you feel/side effects/did it work?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

MiseryIsHere said:


> Especially at night, I wake up in an absolute panic. My body aches horrendously. My heart feels like it will explode. I am just tense all over and cannot calm down. Is this an anxiety attack?


Yeah it sounds like it. This is how I get sometimes. It is awful.


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## MiseryIsHere (Jun 20, 2013)

I believe I had one anxiety attack right before he left...he freaked him out. I have even wondered if it had anything to do with his leaving. Since he left, Im having them daily..more than daily actually. And way worse. I was under a lot of stress before he left. Now I am terrified that he will never come back. Physically, I am falling apart. I have debated telling him. I can only email him. He says he wants a divorce. Should I tell him whats going on?


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Your anxiety will be managed very well by Xanax....Most doctors should be willing to give you a small number of them....That should get you settled down so you can think straight....

A few days with some sleep and some relief from anxiety will help you immensely....

Curl up on the couch with a pint (or two) of ice cream (remember it's medicine) and loose yourself in a movie........

Or call up a GF or family member and have a sleepover....

Anything to let your thoughts slow down and your head to stop spinning...... 

I would go totally dark on your husband for a full week.......

Absolutely no contact.....

That should give him some time to engage in a little retrospection and realize he is acting like a fool......

Some time to think will be good for both of you....

Then suggest to him a meeting on neutral ground, like getting a motel room half way between your places....Some face time may help you both figure things out...

good luck
the woodchuck


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## Hopefull363 (Feb 13, 2012)

No don't tell him he'll think it's a ploy to get him back. Right now work on yourself. Get to a Doctor ASAP. So you can at least function. Try a low dose of antidepressant. The dose can always be upped if the low dose isn't working. Eat small bites of food so your stomach won't rebel), and drink Ensure if you can. Try out some free meditation apps online to try and free up your mind. Take Melatonin at night with Benadryl to help you get to sleep. If you wake up in the middle of the night try to listen to a meditation app.

You really have to get yourself up and functioning again before you speak to your husband. Go dark at this point with him. No contact. If he calls or texts you don't talk or text right back. Let him wait. Call him back later or text him later. No messages to him through other people. Let him see the beautiful person he's leaving behind. If he sees you falling apart that will just reinforce his decision to leave. Stand tall and work on your life without him. 

You can do it we are all here for you.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Definitely don't tell him. He will see that as you trying to "guilt" him back. 

You need to focus on yourself, and your health, and not him. He is going to do whatever it is that he wants to do. So you should make your life as easy at this point as you can.


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## HangingVine (Jul 1, 2013)

> Medicinal use[edit]
> 
> 
> Valerian (Valeriana officinalis) essential oil in a clear glass vial
> ...



Do your own research but I keep this in my cabinet.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valerian_(herb)




> Does Valerian Work For Anxiety? | LIVESTRONG.COM




Im not a conspiracy theorist person.But.The Big money people have no agenda to pay for studies and confirm that any natural remedies cheap and available do us any good.

I wont tell you what to do but I have taken valerian root and the pharma's both for anxiety relief and valerian can compete.

You can get it over the counter.


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## MiseryIsHere (Jun 20, 2013)

Im still having terrible anxiety...the attacks might be once a day but sometimes they might be up to 6 a day....usually at night. Im still eating very little. It has been 6 weeks now since I last saw him..he still does not talk to me. I have lost 26 lbs. I tire very easily and I notice that I am often weak. I went to change the litterbox yesterday..could NOT lift the box of litter. I cant get my husband off my mind...I so want him to come home. I miss him. When he was still here, I would sometimes suddenly get so angry. The frustration would build up suddenly and it was like I would burst. I could go back to my normal, happy, loving, giddy self in no time though. I don't know what that was...possiblly a deficiency?-but I have that under control now. I have realized it probably had a lot to do with his leaving. I have really considering telling him this...doesnt he need to know?


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## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

My heart aches for you, and I'd so like to smack your hubs and his parents.

He OWES you an explanation. He should act like an adult and give it to you. His parents need to stop shielding a 29 yr old man.

Doesn't he have a job he needs to show up for? 

Start snooping. Check the phones bills, the credit cards, etc.

Whatever money is left in a joint account, remove it.

You need to protect yourself. Instead of anxiety, start self- preservation.

Start the 180 you read out here.

Don't you think you deserve better?


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## Soveryalone (Jul 19, 2013)

my heart always breaks when I read threads like these because I know all about Anxiety , my god the last 3 months have felt like one long intense anxiety attack. I know medications can help but I would try the herbal ones first , and I know for myself writing on this forum has helped a lot, and what seems to help more is to read other people stories ( ones that wont trigger more anxiety for you) and try to help them. When we step out of ourselves sometimes its a little bit easier to cope. One thing I will tell you is this, DO NOT CONTACT your husband , please trust me on this. Because if you think your anxiety level has reached its max, you are mistaken , and I have no idea why he left, but any contact with him could make things extremely more painful and cause a much more intense , nearly unbearable anxiety


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## Soveryalone (Jul 19, 2013)

it is really so horrible because I know exactly how you feel.. I want to contact my Ex so badly sometimes I am jumping out of my skin but I also know the last few times I have talked to her have made things so much worse for me mentally. 
Its a sick twisted double edged sword, them not wanting to talk causes such pain, dread and anxiety but talking to them can make it worse. don't tell him you are having anxiety attacks, he will think you are trying to make him feel guilty. People change so drastically sometimes and the person you love, the person who loved you and married you might not be the same anymore. sorry you are dealing with this.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Have you tried anti-anxiety medications? They worked well for my STBXW when she started having panic attacks (long before our separation). Hers were so bad that they had her hooked up to a heart rate monitor for a day just to see how bad she was reacting. The anti-anxiety meds stopped them entirely. 

After that, a shrink friend of mine recommended some therapy programs to help her deal with the attacks without the meds, but she never wanted to even start them. One of my beefs with her, as an aside... She wanted lots of changes in herself (she wanted off the meds) but was never willing to put in the effort. But that's her issue, not yours. 

C


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

Woodchuck said:


> Curl up on the couch with a pint (or two) of ice cream (remember it's medicine)


Wrong. The last thing she needs to do is over eat. 

It's not medicine it's garbage. 

Stress eating is not the answer.


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## MiseryIsHere (Jun 20, 2013)

He is a teacher so he is not quite back to work yet. I will do anything to prevent this from becoming divorce. I play a part in the blame..I needed to forgive his parents for the hurt they caused us but I held a grudge and had too much pride to do so. They had too much pride to reconcile as well. My husband has picked them over me. This is a fixable issue but it went on so long that I dont believe my husband sees it that way. I just dont know what to do in order to prove it to him.


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## Soveryalone (Jul 19, 2013)

Look into EMDR therapy as well EMDR: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing It really works, helped tremendously


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## Soveryalone (Jul 19, 2013)

How to Stop Obsessive Thoughts? 

Also read this ^^ for any who have anxiety, and or intrusive thoughts this is an amazing read


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## MiseryIsHere (Jun 20, 2013)

Thank you Soveryalone for those links...pulling those up in just a minute. I had heard of people suffering from anxiety before but my gosh, I never realized how terrible it could be. For those of you with it, I get this head pain sometimes too..but its not like a headache. The only thing I could compare it too is that feeling my heart has during an anxiety attack where it feels like it was just pop right out..I get a similiar feeling in my head/brain area. Just wondering if thats just an additional part of an anxiety attack? How about aching chest pain that persists long after the attack?


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## GoBlue (Feb 21, 2013)

Chest pain can be a part of a panic attack but can also be a cardiac related, so if you are having chest pain you need to go to the ER. I hope you feel better soon, I've been there, it's awful. Please continue to try to eat, add some protein powder to the almond milk and half an avocado for fat (it sounds awful but you really can't taste the avocado).


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

MiseryIsHere said:


> I have lost 18 lbs in just under two weeks. I started at a healthy weight. I cannot sleep. I cannnot function or concentrate. I cant keep it together. I fall apart constantly. My husband left me. He wont talk with me.
> 
> What can I do to at least calm these nerves/anxiety? It feels like my body is crashing down.


turn loose and disconnect. Don't worry about what you have no or little control of.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

You need to get to a doctor. You have wackedout your chemical balance in your brain. You need to get a PROFESSIONAL opinion of which meds may balance you out again. It doesn;t need to be permanent, but you need help now. I takes a few weeks for the meds to start working. 

This isn't a hard fix. It's 2013 and they've been dealing with this for a long time. You are not the first.


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## Advocado (Feb 24, 2010)

SO sorry you are feeling this way.

If you keep thinking “I can’t eat” all the time, you will not be able to eat. It’s important you turn things around so please consider trying some positive affirmations such as

I eat healthily and I am coping with a difficult situation.

I eat small amounts regularly throughout the day.

I eat well and I am taking care of myself at this difficult time.

Make a point of repeating the above to yourself at least 5 times every morning *before you even get out of bed*, and again several times throughout the day. Set an alarm on your phone or watch to remind you to do this. 

Repeat the above as you prepare small meals and snacks. Repeat the affirmations as you attempt to put the first spoonful into your mouth. Don’t expect instant results – it take a little time so just keep doing all this. You have nothing to loose after all.

Mind over matter can actually work wonders and gradually you can make improvements and feel better in the knowledge that you indeed able to eat right and cope without making yourself ill. 

Anytime you find yourself thinking "I can't eat, etc. " - turn that thought on it's head and think differently. 

*Please *look after yourself – please don’t give your H the satisfaction of seeing you fall apart.


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## Soveryalone (Jul 19, 2013)

I also have pain in my brain at times, I know what you are talking about, they are very quick when they happen but also very sharp and intense. It usually happens when my mind starts racing I cant wait for all this crap to be over, for everyone who is experiencing pain, heartache, anxiety, depression etc etc I wish I could wave a magic wand and make everyone feel better, but I guess we are all growing stronger they say when we experience pain we grow ( I am so sick of all the pain though to be honest)


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Soveryalone said:


> I also have pain in my brain at times, I know what you are talking about, they are very quick when they happen but also very sharp and intense. It usually happens when my mind starts racing I cant wait for all this crap to be over, for everyone who is experiencing pain, heartache, anxiety, depression etc etc I wish I could wave a magic wand and make everyone feel better, but I guess we are all growing stronger they say when we experience pain we grow ( I am so sick of all the pain though to be honest)


Yea nature screwwed up royaly. I can say do this or do that but it doesn't help much. Even when you know logically how you should think or feel, the emotions still take over. It's about the most annoying thing in the world to know how you should feel about something yet your emotional don't listen to logic and anxiety surely doesn't. They just happen.


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## MiseryIsHere (Jun 20, 2013)

I have gotten anxiety meds. Ive actually lost 26 lbs now in 6 weeks. I keep hoping and praying my husband reach out to me. I have been reaching out to God and that has given me faith and hope. If I am praying, I calm down.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

lenzi said:


> Wrong. The last thing she needs to do is over eat.
> 
> It's not medicine it's garbage.
> 
> Stress eating is not the answer.


Having lost 26 pounds in 6 weeks I think it is pretty good advice........

Not as a life style, but as first aid...

Calms the nerves, releases endorphens, not addictive, needed protein, fat and sugar for energy...

Sounds like medicine for what ails her...

cold fact

the woodchuck


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## MiseryIsHere (Jun 20, 2013)

forgot to mention that they gave me atarax..waiting on other test results


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

There are many different options for anxiety, but you must get a good psych to ensure you are really having anxiety.... also natural things you can take... in addition you must force yourself to eat some healthy foods.... I took have anxiety, I take two meds for it, and have to exercise and eat healthy. Also I have found journaling to be very therapeutic.


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## Soveryalone (Jul 19, 2013)

Nothing helps my anxiety more than just writing , I start free writing any thoughts I have, and write until I get them all out of my head. I wrote all about my 12 year relationship , from day one til the end and it dropped my anxiety level down considerably. Also don't forget anxiety/ intrusive thoughts / racing thoughts all are fueled by your interests, if the only thing you are interested in is your Ex husband/ wife, guess what , all you are going to do is obsess about him/ her and the relationship. If you start to make plans for your future and get new interests , maybe meet new people guess what , you will start thinking about new hobbies/ new people. 

I know medications like Xanax is needed by many people , myself included but I am completely just herbal now, daily vitamins and such. But with some practice you can start to get a handle on your anxiety with or without strong meds like Xanax 

Really controlling your breathing helps tremendously as well. IF you feel an attack coming on, SLOWLY inhale in through your nose , hold the breath for as long as you can, then SLOWLYYY exhale out of your mouth , rinse repeat


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

If he's a teacher, even if he doesn't have insurance on you he probably does on him.... right? His employer should offer an Employee Assistance Program (EAP)....that spouse's are entitled to. Use that for counseling. 

Call the Admin office, ask them who to contact about the EAP. They can't really ask personal questions about it, you just explain that you'd like the information please.


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## MiseryIsHere (Jun 20, 2013)

thanks all...i didnt want meds but finally needed to try. the thing is, they practically wipe me out. I cannot funciton on these things so I assume the idea is to "let" me sleep through all this...but then I am stuck with horrible nightmares. You just cant win.


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## MiseryIsHere (Jun 20, 2013)

SunnyT...im in counseling. I have also been trying to write things out..which is helpful.


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## seagoat (Feb 4, 2012)

MiseryIsHere said:


> SunnyT...im in counseling. I have also been trying to write things out..which is helpful.


Have you tried a good magnesium product, like magnesium glycinate or magnesium citrate (not the liquid laxative!!). Magnesium exerts a relaxing effect on muscles. Tense muscles signal stress to your brain (fight or flight), which results in stress hormone and neurotransmitter release. The dose is limited by diarrhea.

For some people, magnesium works wonders. You also excrete more magnesium during stressful times. 

You did not mention how old you are. Anxiety you be also a result of perimenopause, and estrogen dominance. Exercise is a good way to manage your symptoms as well.


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## scatty (Mar 15, 2013)

Anxiety answer: klonopin. May not work for everyone, avoid if you have substance abuse in your history.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

MiseryIsHere said:


> I have gotten anxiety meds. Ive actually lost 26 lbs now in 6 weeks. *I keep hoping and praying my husband reach out to me. I have been reaching out to God and that has given me faith and hope. If I am praying, I calm down.*


MiseryIsHere you've shared a lot with us. Some of this may be good for you to share with your husband. Does he know that you hope and pray that he reaches out to you? It sounds like you acknowledge there are things you would do differently now and he may not know that. The reason I mention this is that you said his parents as well as you have been prideful in the past so if you're not being honest and blunt about how you feel then he may be thinking you don't care or that you are just angry. This is presumptuous of course on my part.


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## MiseryIsHere (Jun 20, 2013)

I started taking a B complex supplement..heard that might help. Not really sure that it has yet but I will look into the magnesium and klonopin..I have heard of that before but not sure what it is. I am only 27 so no menopause stuff there..and never had anxiety issues before or substance abuse...or any of that. Writing things out have been a bit therapeutic and I am getting into more of a regime with that. Thundarr...I have tried reaching out to him and telling him these things. I have a lot of regrets as to how I could have helped the situation and didn't. I also reached out to his parents through a letter weeks ago. My communication with both his parents and him was very sincere, open, and honest. I really had to humble myself. I don't know that it made any difference though seeing how he still hasn't spoken a word to me. I have been in contact with him as well telling him that I am praying for him and that I love him. I stopped begging for him to come back and instead am just being loving. I have asked him more than once to let me know that he is ok but no reply. It is pretty unnerving not even knowing that he is ok. I have not gone into details about the medical aspect of dealing with all of this.


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## Soveryalone (Jul 19, 2013)

Do your best to allow him his space, and as much as it hurts and as unnerving as it is , just try your best to keep the no contact for now. if you have things to say to him, question , put it in an email that you don't send. I have absolutely no idea whats going on for you and him , but many times in these situations pushing or asking questions just makes our own anxiety level go through the roof  so I am very sorry you going through this and I know you must have a million questions and want so badly to talk to him, hopefully you have some friends who can be there to support you and allow you to talk. 
I had one friend just play the role of my ex for an hour lol and I drilled her with questions and she answered them best she could , doing the best impression of my ex as possible heh as silly as that sounds it actually helped a little


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## MiseryIsHere (Jun 20, 2013)

I have on other thing I would like some opinions on...I have been to the doctor..and then the hospital. During our arguments, I would get so angry and then go back to being fine. I didnt understand why I would get so mad. Long story short, there is a medical problem that actually came from years of having an eating disorder. It is easily solved and from the meds I am on, it has worked. This anger, I believe, had a lot of do with his leaving...it wouldnt allow me to just talk. I never saw a doctor even after working on recovering from the eating disorder to realize what happened. Now I am devastated to think I may have ruined my whole life from not seeing a doctor..due to no health insurance/money. I am praying hard on this..trying to decide if I should tell him this? I worry he will not believe me but at the same time it might make sense to him. He has always been so patient with his mom who has mental illness...if I just need some medical care here and there/prescritpions, what if he will open his eyes? So many regrets..


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## Soveryalone (Jul 19, 2013)

You are angry, hurt and confused as to why he left, its scary because there are other emotions that you will feel throughout this process. Its up to you how much or how little you share with him right now. I don't really know the situation but for now I would suggest keeping all contact to a bare minimum if any at all. 
So you feel had you gotten to a doctor any issues you were having might not have happened and he wouldn't have left?
If he knows about mental illness because of his mother that can work for or against you, you know better than we do.
I am so very sorry you are full of regret, I know how difficult regret is, it starts all the "what ifs" and let me tell you the what ifs can start a vicious loop in your mind, try your best to not worry about what has happened , or what will happen , just focus on this moment in time and focus on getting your own mental and physical health in check so when and if he comes back to you, you both will be better off.


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## MiseryIsHere (Jun 20, 2013)

Yesterday was our 10th anniversary. I had high hopes he might return. Today a sheriff showed up at the house and gave me divorce papers. My husband has still not spoken a word to me. He filled the paperwork out three weeks ago while I was being being worried literally sick about him. So devastated.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Late to post this but GABA helps with anxiety.


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## GoBlue (Feb 21, 2013)

Thinking about you and hope you are doing well! Please update.


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## MiseryIsHere (Jun 20, 2013)

The pain of all of this went through the roof when I got those papers. Just keeping waking up each morning with dread and worry. Facing each day is awful. I have to put myself into debt just to get a lawyer so my husband, who was walking hand-in-hand with me the day before I left and smiliing ear-to-ear, can divorce me. Ten years could be completely wiped over without so much as even speaking. If he does not return, I am being forced to quit graduate school and my job which I love. I lose my house and walk away with all the school debt. Losing him is so much worse though. My family and I supported him, loved him, and and embraced him and yet we have been shunned by him completely. He told others in his family and the people at his work that he was getting a divorce-before I even knew. These are ALL the same people he told just a couple of weeks before how much he loved me and bragged about me.


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## Soveryalone (Jul 19, 2013)

Miseryishere , I sent you a private message, I am so sorry you are feeling this way, its so obvious you are in deep anguish , it jumps off the computer screen


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

You had a bunch of threads going on, so I don't recall your situation? How long were you married? He has obligations that don't go away just because he served papers to you. Have you talked to a lawyer?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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