# The OW called me today!!!!!!!



## Kcrat (Mar 18, 2011)

OMGoodness! The OW contacted me via email and asked if I would consider letting her speak to me either via phone, or face to face today! I had no idea what she wanted to say/ask, but I obliged. "Curiosity DID kill the cat!" LOL Turns out we spoke (mostly I listened) and she wanted to tell me how deeply sorry she was for all the hurt and pain she had caused my family and said we were innocent and did not deserve any of it. I DID ask a few (more than a few!) questions and I guess my H has been telling me the truth about breaking things off with her. Do you think I'd be hearing from her if he hadn't? She talked a LOT about her marital situation (D just finalized ) and personal problems, and I listened. Surprisingly, our conversation was rather "folksy" and it did not upset me....Hmmmmmm. She was quite humble and did not seem to want anything from me. I guess there is something to be said for someone apologizing for having an affair with your H! She asked if there was anything she could do for ME, (I don't know her at all, just know of her since my H was engaged to her many years ago) and even said I could come to church with her. HAHAHAHA. Sorry, but that knocked me for a loop! I was gracious and forgiving, and tried to remain classy, but firm and to the point. Anyway, has this happened to any of you out there?


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## uhaul4mybaggage (Jul 20, 2010)

Very interesting development. Not what I normally see happening on here, for sure. I think it was wise of you to listen. Some people would have refused, but I think it was a good idea to see what her POV was and reassert yours. 

Don't think I would trust them though. Visit Affaircare.com (if you haven't already) and see what they say about making SURE the affair is over and STAYS over. If they were once engaged, and are back at it, I would be seriously demanding complete transparency from him in every facet of life. If that is a "deal breaker" for him.. then that tells you what is really going on. Good luck. Stick to those guns. Wait, scratch that. Guns are not a good idea in this situation.  (Though they may seem to be for a fleeting moment.)


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## Kcrat (Mar 18, 2011)

@Uhaul4mybaggage- We are separated with sadly no real hope for reconciliation. Too much has transpired, and he DOES NOT want it at all. So, transparency is probably not applicable at this point, but I was still curious to see if her story matched up with his since he has lied so much to me. Unfortunately I think the only reason he was truthful about breaking things off with her is because he was planning it even before "discovery" and there is simply "no skin off his back" on THIS particular deal. However, would not be surprised if he does not have some other deals "In the works."


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Glad you now have some closure. None of my husband's women have ever contacted me. If one of them did, I would be shocked.

I'm wondering if your husband dumped the OW because he has moved on to someone new though. It should be interesting.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Something that I think often gets overlooked, is that if you are a betrayed spouse, it is easy to presume that you are the only one being lied to. That usually isn't the case. Lying becomes infectious in an affair. Odds are pretty strong that he was lying to her as well, and she to him, which may have something to do with why she wanted to speak with you.

I certainly know that along with the whoppers my ex was telling me ... that there were lies of omission told (or not told) to TOM as well.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Deejo said:


> Lying becomes infectious in an affair. Odds are pretty strong that he was lying to her as well, and she to him, which may have something to do with why she wanted to speak with you.


That is so true! I know for a fact my husband is lying BIG time to his women. They are in their 20s and oh so gullible. Kcat, perhaps the OW is looking for closure as well.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Wow, Kcrat. You're one of the lucky ones! I would LOVe for OW to call me so I can know the truth since I KNOW my H lied several times over. 

That is good she apologized. I know it doesn't lessen the pain but at least she was woman enough to face what she did and ask your forgiveness. 

Did she know he was married when she had the affair?

Is it truly over between them? It sounds like she has a lot of GUILT. Sweet!

When she asked "Is there anything I can do for you?" I would have said "You have already done enough."

Ka-ching. 10 points for Kcrat!


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## uhaul4mybaggage (Jul 20, 2010)

I caught mine in one EA, but I hear things through the grapevine, and it sounds like it wasn't his first. All I can tell you is, now that you know what you're dealing with, protect yourself if you divorce by NOT believing anything else he has to say. Good luck to you.


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