# New BF has multiple online dating site memberships..concern



## dogloverx2 (Jun 30, 2010)

I have been dating this guy for about a month who I met at work. My single sister is a member of match.com and told me he has a profile that is active(website he visits daily). I checked it out and not only is he a member of match but like 3 other well known dating sites including adult friend finder. 

Now I have not said anything to him about my find since we have only been dating for a month and I don't want him to think I'm spying on him. I also know he had these memberships before he met me. So my quetion is how long do you date someone before they should be deleting their online profile?


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## FOM (Jun 23, 2010)

What is his commitment to you right now? If you've been out a few times, it doesn't sound very serious. What reason would he have to delete these profiles?

There is no correct answer to your question. I know of individuals who casually dated each other for years. I also know some couples who got engaged after 2 months. After the 2 of you decide to become exclusive with one another, however long that takes, is the time bring up the dating site issue.


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## scarletblue (May 20, 2009)

If you haven't made a commitment to each other, and aren't dating exclusively, then you really can't expect him to delete his profiles.

The fact that he is checking them daily is a bit of an eye opener, in my opinion. I'm not familiar with adult friend finder, so I may be wrong here, but it sounds like a booty call site. If it is, it kind of gives you something to think about. I wouldn't jump into bed with this guy, especially without protection.

Good luck and be safe.


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## munchkin (Jun 25, 2010)

A similar thing happened to me and somewhat concerned me when I first started dating my current boyfriend. I never said anything to him about it but when we become official/exclusive (right at the 3 month mark) he canceled his dating website membership on his own.

I'm so glad that I never mentioned it to him because the fact that _he _made the decision to delete it (when he didn't even know I knew about it!) speaks volumes. And yes I did check to see if it was deleted about a week after he asked me to be his girlfriend, which is how I know, lol. 

Anyway, if I were you I definitely wouldn't even bring it up unless you become exclusive, and then wait and see if he deletes it on his own... Then if he is still checking them frequently and a month or so goes by without him deleting them, I would probably be concerned and mention that your sister saw him online.

Good luck and I hope it works out!


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