# sharing my husband



## MichelleNotts (Oct 12, 2015)

Hi all, I know this probably goes against the core aims of this site, but it's something that I've wanted to do for years but never told anyone about. 

I want to arrange for another woman to seduce my husband and then tell me all about it. 

Please don't misunderstand, I'm not trying to catch him out or trick him, it's a kinky fantasy of mine to do it and I'm curious as to whether anyone else shares my interest or has a view?

Thanks
Michelle


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Would you be totally shocked to learn that the market out there for other women to sleep with your H outside of marriage rests somewhere between "slim and none!"

The other predicating factor that comes into due consideration is that for any self-respecting woman to take it upon themselves to want to do something like that pretty much turns her into a trollop of textbook proportions herself!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

MichelleNotts said:


> Please don't misunderstand, I'm not trying to catch him out or trick him, it's a kinky fantasy of mine to do it and I'm curious as to whether anyone else shares my interest or has a view?
> 
> Thanks
> Michelle


No. No way. Hell no.

Hope I'm clear on that....


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## MichelleNotts (Oct 12, 2015)

Thanks both. I appreciate your responses. I guess time will tell on this one ?


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Not that this is in any way a good idea, but the gender divide here is pretty shocking.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

Well, I guess it depends on how good-looking your husband is and which one of your gf will offer to do it. I bet it's the one who secretly wants him.

Or, how much are you will to pay to set up the fantasy.


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

OP,
Allow me to make the introductions. Fantasy meet Reality, Reality....Fantasy. Now that the two have met good luck keeping them apart.


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

Michelle,

Are you ok with getting an STD from this OW, where are you going to find her craigslist???

If you are doing this to compensate for your cheating on your H, just make your confession and be free.

Tamat


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

TAMAT said:


> Michelle,
> 
> Are you ok with getting an STD from this OW, where are you going to find her craigslist???
> 
> ...


Ah... there is another question. .. Are you prepared to raise the child she has when your husband knocks her up?

Or.. are you prepared to lose your husband to her once he finds her more attractive/sexy, etc, than you?

Have fun with that.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
I'm not going to be nearly as negative as everyone else. Your kink is your kink. A few things:

1) He absolutely must be in on it. Unless he knows what you want, he is probably not seduceable. I wouldn't be. I can't imagine a situation where I would have sex with a random woman. Not only would it be violating my vows but there are just too many risks of too many types.

2). There are physical risks, but the can be dealt with.

3). There are swingers clubs - it wouldn't be that hard to find someone - again though your husband has to be in on it.

4). This would be a disaster for the great majority of people. It *might* be OK with you and your husband, but for most people this sort of thing ends very badly.

5). Can you just role-play it. Wear a wig. Pick him up at a bar and take him back to a hotel. Make a video so you can watch him with what looks and acts like a different woman?


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

You might want to just keep this one in your head.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Is this something your husband would even want? Have you shared this fantasy with him? If he is monogamous by nature or mindset, then he may not welcome the opportunity. Certainly don't try to surprise him with no forewarning. What is your motivation? Do you hope for the same consideration, just the vicarious thrill, or something else? As many have pointed out, there are a variety of potential pitfalls that could happen - but most are unlikely with proper preparation and a strong relationship.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

"Would you be totally shocked to learn that the market out there for other women to sleep with your H outside of marriage rests somewhere between "slim and none!""

Are you being facetious? The internet is full of forums for women and men to recover from infidelity. Where did all of those wayward husbands find women to f*ck if they are so 'slim and none'. And, a lot of those women are married!

OP, have you considered that your husband might be insulted and hurt that you would WANT him to sleep with another woman? What's with the debriefing on the tryst? Just pull up a chair and watch. Is there a term for a female volunteer cuckold?


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I am going to talk in the same vein as those who are pro swingers from the other thread: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/295098-open-marriages-work.html


You have no right to share your husband. You don't own him, you don't own his body. Where do you swingers get off, thinking that you can "share" your spouse...... as if you share your lunch.


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## Mrs Chai (Sep 14, 2010)

My opinion:

It's one thing to fantasize about it, it's completely different watching it happen in reality. I mean really seeing him caress her breasts, or kiss her full on the mouth. Watching both their reactions to one another - the intake of breath, the sighs - these are all for HER. This other person. I mean, I get it - I can get the fantasy of it and how that can be arousing.

However, when crossing into reality - the hotness of it comes to a screeching halt. For me.

You need to be in a strong relationship with lots of communication and if you have never done anything like this before I think you are taking too big of a bite off the swinger relationship to chew right away.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

MichelleNotts said:


> Hi all, I know this probably goes against the core aims of this site, but it's something that I've wanted to do for years but never told anyone about.
> 
> I want to arrange for another woman to seduce my husband and then tell me all about it.
> 
> ...




As fun and kinky as this sounds, you will be playing with fire and someone is getting burned.

Say you do this and some woman seduces your hubby and they have crazy sex and he tells you all about it. What happened? He committed adultery and cheated on you.

What if he really likes this other woman? Then leaves you for her?

When you're married, that means you have crazy wild sex with each other and nothing is off the table as long as its between the two of you.

If you want to have sex with other people while married, get divorced and have open dating relationships.

Marriage is between the two of you and not other people.

What do you really want?

Marriage?

Or open dating relationship?

If you're bored and want to spice it up, why not try:

- oiled breast jobs
- anal sex
- oiled foot jobs
- have him wear a hollow strap on with harness (as big as you would like)
- vibrators
- 69, reverse cow girl
- cosplay
- use food, whipped cream, syrup, etc.
- get blind folded and tied down to the bed
- sensual oils like motion lotion
- have sex outside in a public place
- use flails and feathers
- the list is endless what you can do together........


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## EnigmaGirl (Feb 7, 2015)

What boundaries are you setting for this? 

I mean, are you the only one who gets to decide when he can break his marriage vows or can he decide when he does it too?

I think its perfectly normal to have fantasies but, in my opinion, you are opening Pandora's box with this one and I hope you have all the eventualities covered because there are massive ones.

Is there another safer way for you to indulge your fantasies?


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Yeah, I can see all of this working out real well...


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## sixty-eight (Oct 2, 2015)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> 
> 5). Can you just role-play it. Wear a wig. Pick him up at a bar and take him back to a hotel. Make a video so you can watch him with what looks and acts like a different woman?


Role play might be your best bet, if you want your marriage to say intact. This actually sounds like a lot of fun! and then if you still want to do your thing after, well then, it's your life. But once you send him off to the OW you picked out, there may not be any stopping it if it's not as you imagined.



NextTimeAround said:


> You have no right to share your husband. You don't own him, you don't own his body. Where do you swingers get off, thinking that you can "share" your spouse...... as if you share your lunch.


^so true


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

I don't like to share, so sharing my husband would be out of the question!!


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## FrazzledSadHusband (Jul 3, 2014)

Sounds like a setup, ok honey, I let you bang the woman I brought home. NOW, there's a hunky new guy at work I'm going to [email protected]


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## perol (Oct 6, 2015)

There's probably lots of guys reading this thread and secretly hoping it's their wife that started it even though logic strongly dictates otherwise.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)




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## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

MichelleNotts said:


> Hi all, I know this probably goes against the core aims of this site, but it's something that I've wanted to do for years but never told anyone about.
> 
> I want to arrange for another woman to seduce my husband and then tell me all about it.
> 
> ...


I will be honest for the first time here.. I do fantacize of someone fvcking my GF or double teaming her some times.. 

But as was already mentioned.. That is all it will ever be.. 

But I do think of stuff like that.. 

I don't know why I do think like that, because I am very protective and can be a jealous b!tch. 
The exterminator got out of line with her and tracked him down and I snapped.. 

But then I think of things like that.. Even I think I'm crazy sometimes.


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## Threeblessings (Sep 23, 2015)

NO WAY! This is playing with fire and there's no other way to put it. Why don't you seduce your own husband and talk about it with him? There is no way in the world I would share! You need to think about the destruction this can cause. Fantasies is one thing but what about reality???? You are married and that means you aren't supposed to share.


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## Apexmale (Jul 31, 2015)

MichelleNotts said:


> Hi all, I know this probably goes against the core aims of this site, but it's something that I've wanted to do for years but never told anyone about.
> 
> I want to arrange for another woman to seduce my husband and then tell me all about it.
> 
> ...


Your worst enemies when asking for this type of advice are those who stand outside of that circle. Thier messege will be of jealousy, unknown risks, or appear as a parental figure who has lost your personal taste for adventure. Your idea's represent excitement and life as opposed to most marriages that follow habit and acceptance. 

Make sure your husband agrees to this! I am not in an open-marriage, nor are we swingers so the only advice I can give you is to make creativity, rather than comfort, your goal and you will ensure far more success than the status quo and most everyone's conventional habits. 

You are obviously venturing out into marital creativity, and creativity is by it's very nature an act of boldness and of rebellion. Don't feel the need to continue clutching on to dead ideas, past successes, and the need to maintain your "normal" status among others. Entertaining normalcy and old ideas will only ensure mediocre results.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

I've been in a relationship with a handful of women in my life that have had that particular fantasy so I don't think it's uncommon. 

I do think its difficult to work in reality tho. I've never had such a situation be stable. But I'm sure it's possible if you both are wired that way. 

I'd say take baby steps. Have him kiss another woman, and then see how you feel about that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Oh, ya, and be clear with each other if that means you get to have sex with another man. You know, just to be fair.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

NextTimeAround said:


> I am going to talk in the same vein as those who are pro swingers from the other thread: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/295098-open-marriages-work.html
> 
> 
> You have no right to share your husband. You don't own him, you don't own his body. Where do you swingers get off, thinking that you can "share" your spouse...... as if you share your lunch.


You forgot the other side of the coin in your post....some phuckers like being owned....and with that, one can not judge the willing, or the one willing to share.

Either way " sharing" ..."hall pass" the whole idea is bullshyut.

OP and her old man can do what ever the hell they want, but if some ckick and the husband fall for each other ...OP is SOL.

On a side note, I would never share my old lady but once in a while I let her out!


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

OK. Just a thought. If my wife told me about this fantasy, a few things would jump out at me. One is that after I have my "approved fling" with another woman, would she then ask me if it was OK for her to try out a different guy. The second thing would be is has she already had her fling and this is a way for her to make it up. 

Someone mentioned going to a swingers club. Maybe you should talk to him about that and make sure that rules are put in place especially the use of condoms, then make sure you have a bottle of smelling salts for him when you approach him with your fantasy because I got a feeling he'll need it.


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

Have you ever considered being his OW? Use other names for each other, perhaps middile babes to start and then develop nicknames. I also thought lingere was not in the flesh shown, but it being used to say what the wearer wanted without words. So white would mean... Red would mean... Black would mean.... Then the style would give future hints.

Always had a problem with multi color outfits though.


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

CuddleBug said:


> If you're bored and want to spice it up, why not try:
> 
> *- have sex outside in a public place*


I like the bolded, its my only kink, and never gets old because the scenery always changes and you can still return to the past years later.

A few years ago I was dating woman with 2 kids (s16, d8) my boy was 7 at the time. We were camping at a state park, and by the 3rd night decided we needed a little alone time so we snuck out of the tent to go skinny dipping at this little hidden bluff.

After a short swim we went back onto the beach to get dressed and I started fooling around with my girlfriend. Within a few minutes we were doing it on a park bench in the sand and an elderly couple (70s-80s) walked down by us. I was too embarrassed so we got dressed and walked around the trails. After about 30minutes we went back to the spot and grandma was on her knees blowing pops... They didn't notice us, but the next morning I ran into pops at the showers and started to apologize, he said, "thanks for giving us the bench," and winked at me...


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

gouge_away said:


> I like the bolded, its my only kink, and never gets old because the scenery always changes and you can still return to the past years later.


Sex in public places can also get you a 'sex offender' label and your names in the database.


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## Apexmale (Jul 31, 2015)

Hardtohandle said:


> I will be honest for the first time here.. I do fantacize of someone fvcking my GF or double teaming her some times..
> 
> But as was already mentioned.. That is all it will ever be..
> 
> ...


Those thoughts are not crazy at all. 

We may not be aware of it as a whole, but we suffer from dead forms and conventions that clutter our culture. Perhaps the greatest impediment to relationship creativity is the natural decay thats sets in over time in any relationship. A certain way of thinking or acting that once had success quickly became an established procedure. As time goes by, people forget the initial reason for these customs and simply follow a set of established techniques. 

Now, we can go wrong with trying to evolve these established procedures, especially with the pressure to produce results and the fear this instills in us. Some people keep this creative process alive and never settle into complacency. Others live by the creed "If it isn't broken, don't fix it". Can you imagine everyone still driving the Ford Model T? Niether can I. 

For these people, there is a profound dissatisfaction with complacency and set standards, especially when the source of those standards were created by other people they don't even know. These people work and have the need to constantly improve their relationships with new ideas and they put other people's opinions and the sense of uncertainty aside. They are not sure where they want to go next but the uncertainty drives their creative urge and that keeps their relationship alive.


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## convert (Oct 4, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> Sex in public places can also get you a 'sex offender' label and your names in the database.


This is very true

Not that it happened to me, but I know this to be true


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## bubbly girl (Oct 11, 2011)

Fantasies are very exciting, but once you bring it to life it's no longer a fantasy. It's reality. Sometimes fantasies are best left as fantasies. The reality doesn't always live up to your expectations and once you open Pandora's box there is no going back.

I agree with the others that suggest role playing. You would be right there watching him get turned on by "another woman". It would all remain fantasy & avoid the complications of involving another person in your marriage.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Apexmale (Jul 31, 2015)

bubbly girl said:


> Fantasies are very exciting, but once you bring it to life it's no longer a fantasy. It's reality. Sometimes fantasies are best left as fantasies. The reality doesn't always live up to your expectations and once you open Pandora's box there is no going back.
> 
> I agree with the others that suggest role playing. You would be right there watching him get turned on by "another woman". It would all remain fantasy & avoid the complications of involving another person in your marriage.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I just got lost. Fantasies are best left as fantasies? 


Role playing is fantasy.


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> Sex in public places can also get you a 'sex offender' label and your names in the database.


Buzzkill!


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## boejr77 (Oct 17, 2015)

Well Michelle maybe you should have this talk with him..he may actually be just as interested in it more than you realize


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

MichelleNotts said:


> Hi all, I know this probably goes against the core aims of this site, but it's something that I've wanted to do for years but never told anyone about.
> 
> I want to arrange for another woman to seduce my husband and then tell me all about it.
> 
> ...


I suspect this advice will make me very unpopular.

Hire someone to do it.

Many women who only want something casual will want something serious after a few meets or even one. You are putting yourself in a vulnerable position. Get a professional instead and pray for the poor girl.


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## bubbly girl (Oct 11, 2011)

Apexmale said:


> I just got lost. Fantasies are best left as fantasies?
> 
> 
> Role playing is fantasy.


Role playing is pretending. Bringing another person into the relationship is reality.


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## KanDo (Jun 15, 2011)

Mr The Other said:


> I suspect this advice will make me very unpopular.
> 
> Hire someone to do it.
> 
> Many women who only want something casual will want something serious after a few meets or even one. You are putting yourself in a vulnerable position. Get a professional instead and pray for the poor girl.


I personally think this whole thing is a bad idea, but agree that a professional would be best if you really must go though with it. Not likely to have any emotional attachment, generally not going to be concerned that she will have friends in common, etc...


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## 2ndchanceGuy (Sep 28, 2015)

OP, IMO its a bad idea as many others have posted. Think of it as skydiving with a parachute that has a few holes. It might work out or totally fail . Is that a risk you can take ?


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## Spotthedeaddog (Sep 27, 2015)

MichelleNotts said:


> Hi all, I know this probably goes against the core aims of this site, but it's something that I've wanted to do for years but never told anyone about.
> 
> I want to arrange for another woman to seduce my husband and then tell me all about it.
> 
> ...


I'm polyamorous, with contacts in several polyamorous groups.

There are many questions that need to be asked :
(1) Why? (why do you want you husband having sex with someone else)
(2) How would you handle it if they formed an emotional bond?
(3) Are you really ok with completely using a _third_ party as a sexual graitification object (which is what you are talking about doing).

If you do find your "unicorn" then that is lovely, what are hoping for?

If you _really_ want to do this, and your husband isn't driving it, then the _best_ way of achieving this is make descrete enquiries into reputable professional sex-workers. They are used to dealing with "no-frills" sex, aren't going to bond with your husband (although you'll have to be careful he doesn't chase her), and the professional sex worker will have more interest in dealing with you and your husbands needs than her own sexual/emotional interests.


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