# Need Help



## creade27 (May 26, 2017)

Hello everyone my name is Cassandra. Alright well here is my story, Me and my husband were together for 5 months before we got pregnant then we got married. one or two months later we split up. That was back in 2015. We now have a son that will be two in November. We have been split up since 2015, I have dated and now he is in a relationship. We are not divorced or separated. Well now I am wanting to work on getting my marriage back! and no, it's not because he's got a girlfriend now. I have two other kids and they still love him to death. He has two daughters. I have hinted around that i wanted to hang out and whatever else. I went to his house the other night and saw our son. Our son went to sleep, i hung out for a bit and we drank a few beers. I currently just asked him if he wanted to take the kids to the beach this weekend and i would help out with the room. He said he didn't think that was a good idea. I don't want to rein his current relationship if he's happy. But at night all i do is catch myself thinking about him. I don't know what more to do! Can someone please help me! :frown2:


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

What caused the split in the first place? That's going to have a strong bearing on the advice you're likely to get.


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## creade27 (May 26, 2017)

I started getting sick when i was in my first month being pregnant, He was out and i asked him to come home and it took him 4 hours to get home when he was 15 minutes down the road hanging out with a friend. It happened twice and instead of working on it in the first place, i just left. Sounds awful, but i have been cheated on so many times by past relationships i just couldn't hear if he was. I never gave him a chance.


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

If it were me in that situation, I would just tell him how you're feeling, and that you have feelings for him. See where it goes, and go from there.


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## creade27 (May 26, 2017)

I have tried to tell him how i feel about him and I never get a response. The other day when i was over there i could tell he still had feelings because he was hugging me and he tried to kiss me. But i backed up because i didn't know if that was moving to fast.


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

creade27 said:


> I have tried to tell him how i feel about him and I never get a response. The other day when i was over there i could tell he still had feelings because he was hugging me and he tried to kiss me. But i backed up because i didn't know if that was moving to fast.


That may have confused him about what it is that you want.


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## creade27 (May 26, 2017)

Maybe, I am not sure. What advise do you have for moving forward?


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

creade27 said:


> We have been split up since 2015, I have dated and now he is in a relationship. We are not divorced or separated. Well now I am wanting to work on getting my marriage back! and no, *it's not because he's got a girlfriend now*.
> 
> at night all i do is catch myself thinking about him.


Yes, it _is_.


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## creade27 (May 26, 2017)

No, It has nothing to do with that!


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

creade27 said:


> Maybe, I am not sure. What advise do you have for moving forward?


I would still just sit down with him for a heart to heart, and tell him what he means to you, how you made a mistake by leaving before, and how you'd like to give it another shot. How serious are him and his girlfriend?


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## creade27 (May 26, 2017)

I am really not sure, he said they argue alot


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

How old are you and he?


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

creade27 said:


> No, It has nothing to do with that!


Ok, it's because someone might take him now AND because he's trying to kiss you and you're still single and he's not. It sure isn't love, you've only spent 7 months of your life with him.


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## creade27 (May 26, 2017)

I am 28 and he is 37


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## creade27 (May 26, 2017)

We have known each other for a long time before we got married! we dated for short time


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Ok, that makes more sense. 

So let me ask you something: How do you feel about being the person who broke up a relationship?

Also, how do you feel about dating a man who would try to kiss someone who is NOT his girlfriend?


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## creade27 (May 26, 2017)

I feel horrible for being the person who broke up the relationship! It breaks my heart.

How do i feel about dating a man who would kiss someone who is not his girlfriend... In this situation i am not sure because i am still technically his wife. We are not divorced or legally separated! But if it was a different situation i would most likely be mad!


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

creade27 said:


> I started getting sick when i was in my first month being pregnant, He was out and i asked him to come home and it took him 4 hours to get home when he was 15 minutes down the road hanging out with a friend. It happened twice and instead of working on it in the first place, i just left. Sounds awful, but i have been cheated on so many times by past relationships i just couldn't hear if he was. I never gave him a chance.


When you start pining for him, remember that he is still the same guy that wouldn't come home to take care of his pregnant wife.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

If you want to get back with him, the first thing that must happen is he has to end his relationship with his gf. 

He has to show you that he really wants to be with you. 

You say that you have other children. Are they older or younger than the child you have with your husband?


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

creade27 said:


> I feel horrible for being the person who broke up the relationship! It breaks my heart.
> 
> How do i feel about dating a man who would kiss someone who is not his girlfriend... In this situation i am not sure because i am still technically his wife. We are not divorced or legally separated! But if it was a different situation i would most likely be mad!


I'm not asking you to be mad. I'm asking if you think that a man who will cheat on one woman with another is a great guy to pin your affections on. And the one who ABANDONED you when you were pregnant.


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## creade27 (May 26, 2017)

My other kids are older


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## creade27 (May 26, 2017)

After we split up he came to all the doctors appointments he was there when his son was born


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## creade27 (May 26, 2017)

He actually let me take his daughter to the lake with me and my son today.


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## Lostme (Nov 14, 2014)

Since you had a short relationship with him, what is it about him that you miss?


You really need to do some soul searching, and then sit him down and tell him how you feel about him. 

Maybe there is hope and maybe not, since he had no response last time you told him how you feel I would try one last time and then move on with my life if I got the same reaction.


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## creade27 (May 26, 2017)

I sent him a really long message just apologizing and asked him if we could get together to talk about this... if he ignores me again I guess I'll get the hint that this is a waste of my time. I wish he would talk to me about this but he won't, if I text about anything else he responds back...


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## Betrayedone (Jan 1, 2014)

I'm sorry to say that the two of you lack proper relationship skills and until you develop some sense of these you have no chance of success. Forget this guy, get yourself together and improve yourself and move on.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Let me ask you something. Why are you pursuing someone who is so hard to get?

Why aren't you looking for people with whom you have some good rapport, where things aren't hard, where the man obviously wants and respects you, where you smile all the time?

Sounds to me like he just wants another female body to screw. And no offense, but you seem pretty easy.

You CAN get a decent person in your life.

You just have to have higher standards.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

Yeah, don't chase a man who is not on fire to be with you.


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