# A girl I know.. should I or wait?



## dajam (Jul 14, 2014)

Here a quick summary, there is a former employee,(no dipping in the company pool) she is younger than me, two kids, recently out of a 7 year, bad relationship. (Going on a year). She is a former employee, we talked constantly and got along great.. 

We always had hard core eye contact, always pulling the proverbial have to stretch and push the goods out at me… Always wanted to hit me and the like, one of the draws for me about her is she really “nice”, smart, and shy, of course attractive. 

After she left we kept in touch via messaging, she gave me her number then we talked about going out for a coffee, then between her new job travel, kids, life, and of course my job, we never made it out. So I just let it ride, that was in June. We are both a really busy people. Work never stops for me I am on call 24/7/365…. 

Here is my dilemma, 

I want to ask her out however I believe she is still may be going through relationship BS with her ex and her former friends.

My thoughts are to wait so she has had more time to heal and move forward in her new life.

I have a few “girl friends” who talk to her and drop hints about me... They want to get her out and have a by chance meeting. A hidden setup. I asked them not to do that as it would be not right. They know we are both good people and want to set us up.

This is not a life and death thing for me. I actually could engage in this or just let it go. This is one reason why I know I am good with the girl thing again after the D. 

Thoughts?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Your the rebound...know that and yet go take her out and just as the implies...just take her out.

If you guys get serious you will be phucked....so again you are the rebound...just go out and have a good time, but if she wants to move in on the 1st date you got one needing chick on your hands.

My point is what you saw in her then you may not see in her now. I think making a date would be fine but she has other sh1t to close out before it gets serious and if you see her get serious and take her panties off for you then you better keep your sh1t in check....

Again just keep in mide you would be the rebound guy so just go out ...try not to phuck her on the 1st date!


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

the guy said:


> Your the rebound...know that and yet go take her out and just as the implies...just take her out.
> 
> If you guys get serious you will be phucked....so again you are the rebound...just go out and have a good time, but if she wants to move in on the 1st date you got one needing chick on your hands.
> 
> ...


If your just the rebound guy you might as well get some.


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## dajam (Jul 14, 2014)

the guy said:


> I think making a date would be fine but she has other sh1t to close out before it gets serious and if you see her get serious and take her panties off for you then you better keep your sh1t in check....
> 
> Again just keep in mide you would be the rebound guy so just go out ...try not to phuck her on the 1st date!



Well I get that.. I would be the rebound, however, I am good with the boundaries there.. her for me also after my D. With that said, she could fulfill every fantasy and I will still hold my own.. Been there done that, never again. 
that is why I know I am good moving on from my D.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

dajam said:


> Well I get that.. I would be the rebound, however, I am good with the boundaries there.. her for me also after my D. With that said, she could get buck naked and fulfill every fantasy and I will still hold my own.. Been there done that, never again.
> that is why I know I am good moving on from my D.


Both my SO and I are each other's "rebound". We've been together for over 3 years now, and she just moved in. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## dajam (Jul 14, 2014)

PBear said:


> Both my SO and I are each other's "rebound". We've been together for over 3 years now, and she just moved in.
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:smthumbup:


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## texasoutlaw82 (Dec 27, 2013)

Take her out - keep it light, tight and bright.

Don't take her out - keep it light, tight and bright.

Just know the possibilities of either decision and go with it.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

This "girl friend" BS is concerning....to say the least.

Don't expect them to keep you in the "loop". HEck they might be after you and might be communicating all kinds of crap to her.......you don't know?

Regardless, I think if you like her and want to peruse a relationship.....call her and ask her out.

It's just a date, no relationship.....and you will have a much better feel for where she is with her ex etc.

Heck with you in the picture, her entire approach to dealing with her ex/friends etc might change completely.

But then there is the WHOLE another thing you need to consider. DO you really want to get involved with a woman that has 2 kids? 

I hope you realize how HUGE of a red flag this is not just for you, but your wallet/life etc.

And the biggest question of them all. Would she EVER consider making you her priority/over her kids (in time of course, as your relationship gets serious/few years in).

I would probably recommend against it.....cause #1 is a HUGE responsibility to take on and #2 will most likely NEVER EVER happen.

And I would never be with someone that would never make ME their priority (again, in time).


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## dajam (Jul 14, 2014)

DoF said:


> This "girl friend" BS is concerning....to say the least.
> 
> Don't expect them to keep you in the "loop". HEck they might be after you and might be communicating all kinds of crap to her.......you don't know?


:iagree: Very well could be true. I would hope not as she is a married gal and she has never lied to me (that I know of)



> Regardless, I think if you like her and want to peruse a relationship.....call her and ask her out.
> 
> It's just a date, no relationship.....and you will have a much better feel for where she is with her ex etc.


This my gut instinct. nothing ventured nothing gained.



> Heck with you in the picture, her entire approach to dealing with her ex/friends etc might change completely.


Pretty sure she has ditched the guy, not firsthand knowledge though... I know she is well respected among her peers and local tribal community. 



> But then there is the WHOLE another thing you need to consider. DO you really want to get involved with a woman that has 2 kids?
> 
> I hope you realize how HUGE of a red flag this is not just for you, but your wallet/life etc.


Why a huge red flag? I get the dating her = the family thing, Serious thoughts in that arena, you are 100%... Should i even? 

However, she is already supporting them, and she is back in college finishing her degree, something we discussed a long time ago. 



> And the biggest question of them all. Would she EVER consider making you her priority/over her kids (in time of course, as your relationship gets serious/few years in).


I would think if this ever became serious, I would know soon enough to make a decision. I have learned boundaries, however Only way to know for sure is to step out and see. 



> I would probably recommend against it.....cause #1 is a HUGE responsibility to take on and #2 will most likely NEVER EVER happen.
> 
> And I would never be with someone that would never make ME their priority (again, in time).


#1, I totally get, however #2 the meaning eludes me.

Thanks... make me think....


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

i take a different view. If the two of you have chemistry, try it out. Why wait. Ask her out for coffee, see how it goes. Having 2 kids, the courtship will be weirder and slower, but see if the sparks ignite. 

2 kids is not the end of the world, if the rest of the package is the sports model


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## dajam (Jul 14, 2014)

murphy5 said:


> i take a different view. If the two of you have chemistry, try it out. Why wait. Ask her out for coffee, see how it goes. Having 2 kids, the courtship will be weirder and slower, but see if the sparks ignite.
> 
> 2 kids is not the end of the world, if the rest of the package is the sports model


Valid point, Once the work projects are done, about a month or so I will have plenty of time to do this. No hurry or worries on my part. I have know her for over two years and she is smart, determined, strong and yet fragile and very nice.


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## Fitnessfan (Nov 18, 2014)

You all think entirely too much. If you want to take her out, take her out. If you don't...don't. Good lord.


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## dajam (Jul 14, 2014)

Alli3fire said:


> You all think entirely too much. If you want to take her out, take her out. If you don't...don't. Good lord.


Good point.. analyses paralysis... lol..


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## Jetoroal (Dec 24, 2014)

Take her out. The truth shall set you free.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

While you're making up your mind, other guys are probably acting.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

Alli3fire said:


> You all think entirely too much. If you want to take her out, take her out. If you don't...don't. Good lord.


Yeah. What do you want to do?

Do kids make you nervous? 
Do her kids seem difficult? If Yes, pass.

Is her ex a mental and likely to cause trouble? Pass.

How does she look in a Wonderbra? 

See? Simple.


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