# The best threads of CWI



## LongWalk

By best I mean most compelling.

Coping with infidelity has some amazing stories. It might be nice to have some list of the very best ones in terms narrative development, moral value and readability:

Since this is a list perhaps we can rank them:

1) Shamwow
2) Madr6's thread She doesn't think she cheated
3) Hard_to_Detach

Many others but this a start


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## WhiteRaven

Whyme - Is there a point?


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## phillybeffandswiss

WhiteRaven said:


> Whyme - Is there a point?


Quick reference to help betrayed spouses. I know I look for links when a spouse thinks their situation is "original" and "no one here understands my unique and special situation."
Heck, even the "unique" stories have an 85% commonality IMO.

RDMU's is especially interesting and sad because it seemed original. Then people started posting "Oh yeah, 50 shades of Gray = cheated."

I hate the title because it sounds to "happy." 

No offense longwalk.


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## just got it 55

Sham's the best

But Bullwinkles was by far the most entertaining

55


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## MattMatt

phillybeffandswiss said:


> Quick reference to help betrayed spouses. I know I look for links when a spouse thinks their situation is "original" and "no one here understands my unique and special situation."
> Heck, even the "unique" stories have an 85% commonality IMO.
> 
> RDMU's is especially interesting and sad because it seemed original. Then people started posting "Oh yeah, 50 shades of Gray = cheated."
> 
> I hate the title because it sounds to "happy."
> 
> No offense longwalk.


Mine was original. Really original.  And I'm glad, Don't want too many people going through that kind of stuff.


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## masterclicker

Wrathful's thread comes to mind. Fast and furious and done.


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## farsidejunky

This one should have been moved to the CWI section. 

Zanne - http://talkaboutmarriage.com/considering-divorce-separation/89193-unraveling-24-years.html

Luvmyjava - http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping...-confessed-how-handle-her-romps-loverboy.html

I have not been here long but these two had me reading way past lights out.


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## DarkHoly

I keep hearing about Shamwow. Can someone give me a synopsis of what happened?


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## Gonnabealright

Come on man...really??? Rank the threads??? Were here to help not judge.


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## the guy

The best thread is the one were the wayward gets busted and comes out of the affair fog and realizes they were about to lose everything. 

The second best thread is the one were the wayward continues the affair and loses everything ...only to come crawling back and tries to get the betrayed away from a loyal and honest person who wants them!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## the guy

DarkHoly said:


> I keep hearing about Shamwow. Can someone give me a synopsis of what happened?


He stopped being a doormat!

And his old lady didn't like the new Shamwow.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WyshIknew

DarkHoly said:


> I keep hearing about Shamwow. Can someone give me a synopsis of what happened?


Shamwow has to be one of the most awesome dudes ever to post.

Wife strayed while on business trips despite both saying infidelity was a deal breaker for them.

Found the evidence, left it on kitchen table and left.

Went completely dark for several days while she went frantic.

She got left with a house that was financially under water as Shamwow had just started a new business and his WW was the only one who the bank would accept as a signatory.

OM got taken to the cleaners by his BW.

Shamwow's ex still contacts him from time to time telling him that he was too good for her.

And as of last post he was enjoying life with a lovely red head while his ex was finding life difficult.

He basically had a plan, stuck to it and executed it brilliantly.


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## WyshIknew

Gonnabealright said:


> Come on man...really??? Rank the threads??? Were here to help not judge.


Know what you mean, but I think there are some threads that should be required reading for anyone affected by this. And perhaps highlighting the best threads for people may help.

If nothing else it shows people that there is life after this stuff, their situation is not unique, and the nonsense their WS is spouting has been used as an excuse thousands of times.

In no particular order.

Shamwow
Someday Dig
BFF
OldMittens
Kasler
FlyFishDoc
Hunter411
LostCPA

Plus many many others who had a plan and stuck to it.


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## tainted

I can't remember who it was, but he found out his WW was cheating when the OM came to his home and told him. He later found out his WW had multiple OMs and he wasn't the father of their kid. And then the finale to it all, the WW commited suicide. 

Jvalley's story about him forgiving his dying exWW on her deathbed was also a good read.


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## LongWalk

The purpose would be to help. There are a few posters who come and are coached but they don't read much of anything. It is hard to find something, although CWI follows patterns.

BPD, Lifescript
ReGroup

GutPunch wrote an amazing thread.

It would be interesting to get the best women's threads. They don't seem to go on as long. Perhaps as folks say women have better support from friends.

Erik415's experience had many followers.


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## NextTimeAround

Given my own situation, I am more interested in the threads about inappropropriate relationships ie, emotional affairs; friends who refuse to stay in their box; multidating; and so on.


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## hookares

Sorry, but if you have your life destroyed by an affair or affairs, there really isn't a "best thread".


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## just got it 55

hookares said:


> Sorry, but if you have your life destroyed by an affair or affairs, there really isn't a "best thread".


Good Point LW Maybe it should be renamed the most compelling thread

55


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## MovingAhead

tainted said:


> I can't remember who it was, but he found out his WW was cheating when the OM came to his home and told him. He later found out his WW had multiple OMs and he wasn't the father of their kid. And then the finale to it all, the WW commited suicide.
> 
> Jvalley's story about him forgiving his dying exWW on her deathbed was also a good read.


That was Wrathful.


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## Forest

OK, I've been going thru the epic Shamwow thread, which is incredibly long. Don't know how much more I can sift thru, but have one question:

He mentions finding her panties that he suspects were, um, tainted. He takes them to a lab. Did he ever post the results?


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## WyshIknew

Forest said:


> OK, I've been going thru the epic Shamwow thread, which is incredibly long. Don't know how much more I can sift thru, but have one question:
> 
> He mentions finding her panties that he suspects were, um, tainted. He takes them to a lab. Did he ever post the results?


Yes.


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## Forest

WyshIknew said:


> Yes.


I knew I should be more specific. Positive for semen?


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## LongWalk

just got it 55 said:


> Good Point LW Maybe it should be renamed the most compelling thread
> 
> 55


Title cannot be changed but I have inserted a line


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## LongWalk

Forest said:


> I knew I should be more specific. Positive for semen?


They showed purple.

What was amazing about Shamwow's thread was his humanity. He was incredibly kind to his WW but without losing his dignity. If she had just come clean in time, she might have saved their marriage. Instead Shamwow became the big loss of her life. She saw it too late.


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## warlock07

Forest said:


> OK, I've been going thru the epic Shamwow thread, which is incredibly long. Don't know how much more I can sift thru, but have one question:
> 
> He mentions finding her panties that he suspects were, um, tainted. He takes them to a lab. Did he ever post the results?


TAm-addicted..


It is a pretty long read.

Split it over a few days

The threads also need to be categorized. Both of BS that "manned" up or how couples successfully went through reconciliation.

awake was a good thread.

Roadscholar.

Hurtin_Still

Dingerdad

Can't happen to me, right ?(or something similar)

Zillard


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## owl6118

Reconciliation (at least the first year)


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## Cubby

LongWalk said:


> They showed purple.
> 
> What was amazing about Shamwow's thread was his humanity. He was incredibly kind to his WW but without losing his dignity. If she had just come clean in time, she might have saved their marriage. Instead Shamwow became the big loss of her life. She saw it too late.


:iagree: Shamwow is a great example of someone who really understood the advice he was given and followed it. He had his wobbly moments where he was unsure, but overall he stayed the course and his WW's responses were predictable. 

I especially remember the effectiveness of going dark and the panic that set in with his WW. Through it all, he emerged from his horrible situation with dignity intact, and what looks like a bright future ahead of him.

As a side note, Shamwow's a good writer, and was very effective at conveying his emotions and thoughts, sprinkled with some humor. A likable guy everyone here was rooting for.


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## just got it 55

The Russ 101 thread is a killer

Very painful to read

55


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## WyshIknew

just got it 55 said:


> The Russ 101 thread is a killer
> 
> Very painful to read
> 
> 55


Yeah, but a small consolation I know, according to his lawyers he is/was due a big pay out from his (I assume now ex) wife's and OM's employers.


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## WyshIknew

HerHusband
Lascarx


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## movin on

How to proceed by bolio. That is one poster that stuck with me because his wife seemed to be one step ahead of him even though he was getting good advice here. She seemed to gaslight him on everything
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Refuse to be played

These stories are peoples lives here. There aren't any "best" or "good" threads here. They all suck. I'm willing to bet no matter how good someones life is now (with or without the wayward) they would've preferred NOT going down this path to get there.

Now for the more cringe worthy stories, I don't see how anyone can remotely call them the "best".


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## LongWalk

WyshIknew said:


> Yeah, but a small consolation I know, according to his lawyers he is/was due a big pay out from his (I assume now ex) wife's and OM's employers.


Workplace affair?


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## Pepper123

To those that are commenting on the title of the thread, I think that we can all agree there is no "best" scenario on any of the mentioned threads. 

The intent of LW was surely to create a single thread to refer a BS to -- those that offer the best support, implemented advice, and offer an ending as opposed to just falling off the radar leaving everyone wondering WTH ever happened... 

None of this is "good" or "best" but they are all helpful. I think we need to stop arguing over the semantics of the title -- we all know each thread posted sucks, but we can help and glean from each of them as well, and all become better people through the learning we receive and the support we can offer.


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## Disenchanted

The best thread ever posted on TAM was called "My Wife Has Completely Destroyed Me".

Hands down.


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## just got it 55

LongWalk said:


> Workplace affair?


Yup Her Boss

55


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## WhiteRaven

Disenchanted said:


> The best thread ever posted on TAM was called "My Wife Has Completely Destroyed Me".
> 
> Hands down.


Link?


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## Disenchanted

WhiteRaven said:


> Link?


It was so awesome it had to be taken down.


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## Foghorn

FlyFishDoc emotionally disconnected from his cheating wife really quickly. Got rid of her and started dating and recovered his life in a very robust fashion. I was proud of him.

Disenchanted, I wish you hadn't taken it down.

Also a vote for Shamwow. That is how it should be done.

-FH


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## WyshIknew

LongWalk said:


> Workplace affair?


Yes, his WW was humping her boss while denying her hubby. Can't remember full details, I even think it was someone else using Russ's thread.

Apparently she was critical of her hubbies 'lowly' job and regarded the humpy boss as a high flier.

Don't remember all the details and to be honest I thought this was an under bridge dweller for ages.


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## WhiteRaven

Disenchanted said:


> It was so awesome it had to be taken down.


Too awesome for TAM? :scratchhead:.


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## WyshIknew

Disenchanted said:


> The best thread ever posted on TAM was called "My Wife Has Completely Destroyed Me".
> 
> Hands down.


I read it.

I thought the OP was a little disenchanted.


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## WhiteRaven

WyshIknew said:


> I read it.
> 
> I thought the OP was a little disenchanted.


Couldn't find it either. Taken down, eh?


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## Disenchanted

Synopsis:

Dis comes to TAM completely destroyed. WW had said she wanted a divorce took her ring off and slept with the neighbor who she had seen, while with my kids, get hit by a car head on at 55 MPH in front of my driveway.

EA developed over months as POSOM developed a relationship with my kids as well. Truth comes out on our 11th wedding anniversary. I make a list of demands (thanks TAM) as she now says she wants to reconcile. She doesn't meet the demands so Dis does the 180 and lets things go until she finally files.

Dis keeps house, kicks her ass in court big time, gets a GF half her age (and his) and continues to improve himself.

The thing that made the story so good was how badly I was defeated coming in here. I wanted to kill myself. I could see no way out, was terrified of losing everything and not being in my kids' lives. A lot of guys knocked me upside the skull for being such a doormat to her. I had funded her entire affair (SAHM) and before Dday did everything a Nice Guy could think of doing, foot rubs, washing her car, bringing flowers to her work, everything. 

Now her life is a miserable mess and I am actually having the time of my life.

Thanks TAM!


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## Disenchanted

#1 advice to any BH out there. 

HIT THE GYM HARD.

And Paleo/Primal Blueprint have changed my life.


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## WhiteRaven

Disenchanted said:


> I wanted to kill myself.


Been there, learned a lot about myself. I'd rather be convicted as a murderer than be ridiculed as a suicide case.


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## Disenchanted

WhiteRaven said:


> Been there, learned a lot about myself. I'd rather be convicted as a murderer than be ridiculed as a suicide case.


Oh it would have been a double murder suicide for sure. 

Another piece of advice, if you're a cripple, don't sleep with your 6'3" neighbor's wife.

I actually like living next to him nowadays, a constant reminder for him. 

Oh and his GF just loved all the emails from my friends around the globe (thanks TAM) pointing her to his cheaterville page and the youtube I made of him sobbing on my voicemail, apologizing. 

She was befuddled when she got emails about it from Great Britain, Chicago, California. Turned out to be a good fun time!


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## WhiteRaven

Disenchanted said:


> Oh it would have been a double murder suicide for sure.
> 
> Another piece of advice, if you're a cripple, don't sleep with your 6'3" neighbor's wife.
> 
> I actually like living next to him nowadays, a constant reminder for him.
> 
> Oh and his GF just loved all the emails from my friends around the globe (thanks TAM) pointing her to his cheaterville page and the youtube I made of him sobbing on my voicemail, apologizing.
> 
> She was befuddled when she got emails about it from Great Britain, Chicago, California. Turned out to be a good fun time!


Inspiring. 

I did something rather different and evil. I banged the OMW, recorded it and showed it to the OM. He is a basketcase now.


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## Disenchanted

WhiteRaven said:


> Inspiring.
> 
> I did something rather different and evil. I banged the OMW, recorded it and showed it to the OM. He is a basketcase now.


anal I hope hahahahahahha


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## CH

The best posts or threads of all time for CWI would be if the section was completely blank and there were on postings at all about infidelity. Would be a perfect world but here's to hoping.


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## WhiteRaven

He fainted before the vid reached the anal section. Right now, OMW is D'ing him and she's one of my FWBs. OM is getting his high off anti-depressants. 

Moral of the story-
'Never mess with a c0ck that can f*ck back.' Amen.


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## daggeredheart

"He fainted before the vid reached the anal section. Right now, OMW is D'ing him and she's one of my FWBs. OM is getting his high off anti-depressants" <------ouch and double ouch..this stuff just writes itself? 


Some of these stories have really pleasing endings yet I woudn't be able to pull off sleeping with the partner of the AP- yikes.


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## WhiteRaven

daggeredheart said:


> "He fainted before the vid reached the anal section. Right now, OMW is D'ing him and she's one of my FWBs. OM is getting his high off anti-depressants" <------ouch and double ouch..this stuff just writes itself?
> 
> 
> Some of these stories have really pleasing endings yet I woudn't be able to pull off sleeping with the partner of the AP- yikes.


A lot of things I believed in went out the window when my marriage crashed and burned. All I believe in is debts would have to be paid.


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## davecarter

*Walter White & Carrie*'s mega-thread.
A few people, (my modest self myself inc.) were all over that after 4 or 5 pages....but the thing rumbled on like some Cloverfield-type-beast for another 120 pages!! 

I read *DingerDad*'s 'D-Day 3!' thread and it really frustrated and saddened me.
Three separated D-Day's, his wife even came onto post and tell all she was fully into 'R'...yet he found an email from her to her OM saying something like _"she would be involved within any part of the OM's life that he wanted her to be"_.
Ugh. 

*Eric415*'s thread was utterly frustrating in that everyone knew what was happening - his wife & her scumbag boss, 'Choad'...and were screaming at him to 'do something', yet he was too paralyzed/intimidated/door-matted until it was too late... :scratchhead:


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## LongWalk

Who was the guy in Philadelphia whose kindergarden teacher wife was banging her BFF's heroin addict brother? That was tough to read.

There was also the musician, now banned, whose bartender wife was sleeping with a biker coke dealer. He wrote song about her. It was a good tune.

Soca's thread. TheGoodGuy.

Dis,

Shame that you nuked your thread. The summary does not even begin to do justice to what you wrote. I still recall bits and pieces. You shooting stuff in the back yard. The trees. Your commutes on the ferry, where you sometime ran into OM.

Your WW's poorly conceived decision to move out. Her lesbian man hating lawyer who fvcked up in court. Haha. There were funny moments among the misery.


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## F-102

Lately, I've been liking BashfulBull's thread. He is enjoying a newer, better life while his cheating XW is in the slammer!

Oh, and I remember Clairebear and Can't Believe. Noticed too many similarities and asinine situations in their threads, then saw the initials of their screen names (CB) and realized that those two trolls were the same dude!


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## NextTimeAround

Every now and then a thread will flag up a situation that we have never thought about.

One woman started a thread in which her husband received an organ. The organ intermediary was not very good about data management and the mother of the organ donor got their contact details. The husband started an EA with the organ donor's mother.

I can tell you now that in the future if I have any say in the brokering of an organ donation for anyone in my family, I am going to make damn sure that their data management is beyond reproach and that support for the organ donor's survivor is in place..... so that I won't have to do it.


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## Harken Banks

I liked Bandit's threads. Guy could have been the protagonist in a McGuane novel.


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## WhiteRaven

How is Larcarx? Is he ok? Would have been an awesome human being to know.


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## LongWalk

Yes, AlmostRecovered's was classic. Great in its compactness. It was amazing the way his WW was drawn as if by a magnet. POSOM was a colleague. They worked on some ward together. R was very touch and go.

Ing's thread was good but he deleted it.


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## LongWalk

JustGrinding wrote a great piece. Shame that he split without resolution.

And women what were some of the best women's threads?


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## LongWalk

JustGrinding's You're Sorry?

Hello all,

Please provide links if you can.


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## weightlifter

Whyemes because he won.
This is one of the few posts here that was actually fun to do.
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/7145857-post885.html


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## alte Dame

Shamwow's thread brought me to TAM and I still think he is a tremendously good man. For sheer humanity, I admire bff. Bandit.45's original thread is riveting. And lascarx's has for me remained the thread with the most pathos. He was very tough and was immediately set on cutting his losses; at the same time, his pain was clear. Here's his response, on Xmas Day, to a question about details re the OM:



lascarx said:


> In my case, I don't know and I don't care. Of course she now wants to "disclose absolutely everything" but she doesn't get it - I DON'T CARE.
> 
> Just offered to take the kids out today so that she could invite him over. I mean, she did it with him on my bd, so she should also be able to do it with him on big JC's, don't you think? Festive occasions deserve celebration. I never saw myself as "alpha" but sure, I'm magnanimous.


For the women's threads, miss_molly was always the saddest for me. She moved with her husband of many decades to Vietnam for his work, where he took up with a much younger woman, took the OW on a vacation planned for miss_molly and the WH, and moved the OW into their place. This was a marriage of 30+ years and the WH was in his mid-sixties.

He seemed to understand that he was a sugar daddy to the OW, whose family he was starting to support, and yet he was just saying, 'F^ck it - you only live once and this is making me feel good.' Meanwhile, he blew up decades of family love and history and isolated himself in a foreign country. Molly wound up hospitalized with a breakdown, in her sixties, faced with starting all over alone & in a place that wasn't really home.


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## WhiteRaven

weightlifter said:


> Whyemes because he won.


:iagree:


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## weightlifter

weightlifter said:


> Whyemes because he won.
> This is one of the few posts here that was actually fun to do.
> http://talkaboutmarriage.com/7145857-post885.html


I also like it because I advised him on post 75 of his thread to read BFFs story and picture himself there...
and guess what.
He is there NOW!


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## CASE_Sensitive

Any of the threads where the BS started as a door mat, lost, does all the wrong things and slowly but surely learns from advice and experience of others here, turns things around and gets their lives in order in an inspiration for others to learn from.


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## Gabriel

Another vote for Shamwow. I would sneak onto the computer to get the updates. It was that compelling.

Eric415s was also a huge one.
RDMU's was big too, but we never heard the resolution, so it instead goes down as the most frustrating thread ever.

I also was very intrigued by Jerry123's thread and was really motivated to help him.


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## davecarter

*Chris989* also gets a big mention as he started a few threads...and because he really laid it all out there and was _brutally honest _about his marriage, his life, his wife, her affair with a total jerk (possibly the worst OM I've read about on here anyway)...never shirked from any questions at all.

Takes a lot to answer all that truthfully...


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## LongWalk

Jerry123, definitely, for he showed that a stay at home dad with balls could completely shut down the disrespect. There was also plenty of detective stuff going on. The lack of clear resolution about her cheating, he never proved it, made everything ambiguous, until he created moral and emotional order. His wife, to her credit, changed.

I had never read lascarx until now. This guy is JustGrinding on laughing gas.

Did mind movies bother him?



> My cousin just asked me the same thing. And I did have to think about it.
> 
> No, I wouldn't share. Swinging isn't my thing, and I'm not going to say I like what she did. But I don't get agony reactions over it. Same as I don't care, never did care, who she was with before me or what they did. She never had much opportunity but I know there were a few.
> 
> How do I see it in general? Take movie stars. They marry each other without much reflection regarding who stuck it in who when. I think this is due to them never feeling powerless. A man who gets heart-speared every time he thinks about that other man sticking it in his wife is really agonizing over his powerlessness, his self-inflicted inferiority.
> 
> I don't do that because what I care about, I keep under my thumb, it's mine. My wife runs out from under that thumb, and I quit caring about her. She can do what she wants and I don't know her any more.
> 
> What do I hate about the lying? Probably that I allowed myself to be fooled. Still trying to figure that one out.


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## Hope1964

Looking for clarity is still in the midst of things, but she's doing REALLY well and updates fairly frequently for those of us who are rooting for her.


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## Acabado

Ireally hope lascarx is doing well. Last news were not promising.


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## LongWalk

WhiteRaven said:


> How is Larcarx? Is he ok? Would have been an awesome human being to know.


I read his two threads. Amazing. That work accident was terrible read about.

Did Bandit or someone have contact with his wife via the other website?


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## WyshIknew

I will say that for ages I had lascarx figured as a troll.

It just struck me as odd that despite his self reported low education level he was able to quote literature, and his and his wife's writing style seemed very similar to me. However I think he did explain it as he was undertaking some sort of education.


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## LongWalk

Wysh,

I think there are very strong indications of trollery. But nonetheless a great thread. I could only see small samples of the wife's prose but it seemed too similar to his. Also, the children were too flat as characters. He would have had to write more about their activites and the difficulties of fitting in work.

There is little or no discussion of babysitters or other caring figures who would have stepped up to help. There were no friends either.

Philosphically it was an amazing dialog. 

He did not mention much about his work. 

Saving two colleagues but being badly injured = melodrama.

Also, it seemed highly unlikely that her serial cheating did not create a trail.


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## smileandlaugh

Can I vote for myself? I caught my wife having EA and got some great advice...then she finds me on this site and is following my thread, lol. Come on, that's good stuff!

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/175817-i-need-help-emotional-affair.html


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## WyshIknew

smileandlaugh said:


> Can I vote for myself? I caught my wife having EA and got some great advice...then she finds me on this site and is following my thread, lol. Come on, that's good stuff!
> 
> http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/175817-i-need-help-emotional-affair.html


I sort of excluded current or recent threads from my list as we don't know how they are going to turn out yet.

There are many stories I missed out, how long a list do you want?

Gabriel,

Chris989,

And many more spring to mind.

And as mentioned, none of them would have chosen to be on this list.

What I think is remarkable is the way all these people mentioned took the sh1t hand of cards they were dealt by life and played it the best way they could.
An example newbies here could learn from.


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## smileandlaugh

WyshIknew said:


> I sort of excluded current or recent threads from my list as we don't know how they are going to turn out yet.
> 
> There are many stories I missed out, how long a list do you want?
> 
> Gabriel,
> 
> Chris989,
> 
> And many more spring to mind.
> 
> And as mentioned, none of them would have chosen to be on this list.
> 
> What I think is remarkable is the way all these people mentioned took the sh1t hand of cards they were dealt by life and played it the best way they could.
> An example newbies here could learn from.


True, mine is very new, but we are both on the same page and I'm confident we'll move forward in a healthy way.

Maybe you could break out the list into categories? Like: EA/PA/Wife cheated/Husband cheated/Recent. Maybe each could have a brief description and this thread could be stickied. I think that would be great for new people so they can scan popular threads by category that may pertain to their situation. I'm just brainstorming.


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## LongWalk

Smile and laugh,

Does your wife have an TAM account?


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## Gabriel

WyshIknew said:


> I sort of excluded current or recent threads from my list as we don't know how they are going to turn out yet.
> 
> There are many stories I missed out, how long a list do you want?
> 
> Gabriel,
> 
> Chris989,
> 
> And many more spring to mind.
> 
> And as mentioned, none of them would have chosen to be on this list.
> 
> What I think is remarkable is the way all these people mentioned took the sh1t hand of cards they were dealt by life and played it the best way they could.
> An example newbies here could learn from.


Whoa, I get a mention? LOL Well, the "juiciest" part of my story was a thread I deleted. Otherwise, it's probably a pretty common EA story - the only other twist was that the OM was a lifetime friend of my wife's, which made it harder than average to shake I guess.

My original thread is still out there somewhere.

I vaguely remember lascarx - and I agree I smelled troll there for awhile. There was another one where a guy thought his wife might be cheating with her boss - the boss showed signs of aggressively pursuing her, but it wasn't clear if she reciprocated. The guy had an interesting username. He disappeared - I wonder if I can find that one.

There have been a few that I got really into right in the beginning over the years, where the OP just vanished. I can't stand it when that happens, because then you have no idea if you were able to help them.


----------



## smileandlaugh

LongWalk said:


> Smile and laugh,
> 
> Does your wife have an TAM account?


Not that I'm aware of.


----------



## arbitrator

smileandlaugh said:


> Can I vote for myself? I caught my wife having EA and got some great advice...then she finds me on this site and is following my thread, lol. Come on, that's good stuff!
> 
> http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/175817-i-need-help-emotional-affair.html


*I could only be so fortunate that my rich, skanky, XW could find this site, figure out who I was, and see all of those nice endearing names that I now refer to her as ~ as well as her lardass BF!*


----------



## Jellybeans

I can never remember the poster's name but it was the one (eons ago) about the man' who's wife was in an emotional affair with the guy long-distance and he was going to pay for her to go visit the guy and use his car while he stayed home with the kids so she could "get it out of her system" and hopefully decide to stay with him. Nothing we said stuck with him and he was essentially the poster boy for what NOT do do when your spouse is having an affair.


----------



## Disenchanted

smileandlaugh said:


> Can I vote for myself? I caught my wife having EA and got some great advice...then she finds me on this site and is following my thread, lol. Come on, that's good stuff!
> 
> http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/175817-i-need-help-emotional-affair.html


I voted for myself! 

My wife found my thread (which I knew about, keylogger) so her lawyer and her man hating lesbian therapist all came along and read it.


----------



## alte Dame

I believe lascarx was real. The industrial accident that killed one man and put him in a coma was reported in the news. The last report said that his condition was improving.


----------



## WyshIknew

Gabriel said:


> Whoa, I get a mention? LOL Well, the "juiciest" part of my story was a thread I deleted. Otherwise, it's probably a pretty common EA story - the only other twist was that the OM was a lifetime friend of my wife's, which made it harder than average to shake I guess.
> 
> My original thread is still out there somewhere.
> 
> I vaguely remember lascarx - and I agree I smelled troll there for awhile. There was another one where a guy thought his wife might be cheating with her boss - the boss showed signs of aggressively pursuing her, but it wasn't clear if she reciprocated. The guy had an interesting username. He disappeared - I wonder if I can find that one.
> 
> There have been a few that I got really into right in the beginning over the years, where the OP just vanished. I can't stand it when that happens, because then you have no idea if you were able to help them.


I think what struck me with your situation was although you acted with great decision and held your wife accountable you still showed great compassion for your wife and you weren't afraid to think outside of the box and try different things.

With you on the vanishing OP's.

Just off the top of my head I can think of a couple that I still wonder about.

Herhusband
Yessongs72
jj12345


----------



## WyshIknew

alte Dame said:


> I believe lascarx was real. The industrial accident that killed one man and put him in a coma was reported in the news. The last report said that his condition was improving.


I did look but never found anything.


----------



## anchorwatch

*Re: Re: The best threads of CWI*



Jellybeans said:


> I can never remember the poster's name but it was the one (eons ago) about the man' who's wife was in an emotional affair with the guy long-distance and he was going to pay for her to go visit the guy and use his car while he stayed home with the kids so she could "get it out of her system" and hopefully decide to stay with him. Nothing we said stuck with him and he was essentially the poster boy for what NOT do do when your spouse is having an affair.


SteelerGuy


----------



## LongWalk

Disenchanted said:


> I voted for myself!
> 
> My wife found my thread (which I knew about, keylogger) so her lawyer and her man hating lesbian therapist all came along and read it.


I don't remember that. Did she say anything to you about it?

You could say that as cheaters go she became half infamous in a way since your thread have many followers.


----------



## Disenchanted

LongWalk said:


> I don't remember that. Did she say anything to you about it?


Oh yes, she threatened legal action because I had posted an email her therapist had sent to her calling me "unstable" for exposing her actions to her family. Once I knew she was following I feverishly deleted posts that could have hurt me legally. May be part of the reason that you didn't know about it. All of my TAM friends gave the three stooges a happy warm welcome.



LongWalk said:


> You could say that as cheaters go she became half infamous in a way since your thread have many followers.


Well 400 pages must mean something I guess, lol.


----------



## LongWalk

alte Dame said:


> I believe lascarx was real. The industrial accident that killed one man and put him in a coma was reported in the news. The last report said that his condition was improving.


Do you have a link to that?

Someone following the thread noted that it would have been an enormous amount of work to create the thread. If a writer was going to go to all that trouble to create a work of fiction, they would want to publish it IRL. Lascarx also spoke about this.

RDMU and Lascarx, like the Flood, EmptyShellDad, and ... who was the farm owner who after two years reconciled with his exWW but then broke up again?... all had a strong sense of self so that however hurt they were, they shut down the cheater completely from Dday/exposure.


----------



## Disenchanted

LongWalk said:


> Someone following the thread noted that it would have been an enormous amount of work to create the thread. If a writer was going to go to all that trouble to create a work of fiction, they would want to publish it IRL.


Remember "There's Something Creepy Happening in my Home"?


----------



## LongWalk

Haha. The good old days.

Diwali never came back. I felt guilty about that. She needed her TAM fix.


----------



## Hope1964

Diwali came back several times in different manifestations.


----------



## LongWalk

And was booted out again?


----------



## alte Dame

LongWalk said:


> Do you have a link to that?
> 
> Someone following the thread noted that it would have been an enormous amount of work to create the thread. If a writer was going to go to all that trouble to create a work of fiction, they would want to publish it IRL. Lascarx also spoke about this.


Most of the news stories aren't up anymore, but there are still some links, mainly (and sadly) obituaries. I'll pm you with one.

In the original stories, the person I presumed to be lascarx jumped in and tried to save the man who died. He was reported at the time to be in critical condition in the hospital, but improving and expected to recover.


----------



## WhiteRaven

Disenchanted banned?:scratchhead:


----------



## Hope1964

WhiteRaven said:


> Disenchanted banned?:scratchhead:


Calling someone a jackass will do that.


----------



## Gabriel

Disenchanted said:


> Remember "There's Something Creepy Happening in my Home"?


OMG I totally remember that one. I believe that was outed as a troll though.


----------



## WhiteRaven

Whose diwali?


----------



## DarkHoly

Gabriel said:


> OMG I totally remember that one. I believe that was outed as a troll though.


Is that the one where the wife noticed that the tea container was just a bit off, and she noticed just very small things that were different? 

I found that intriguing. I was amazed that someone was able to pick up on such details.


----------



## tdwal

alte Dame said:


> I believe lascarx was real. The industrial accident that killed one man and put him in a coma was reported in the news. The last report said that his condition was improving.



Would you send me any link you have on Lascarx?


----------



## weightlifter

Wish they did rolling infractions. I miss The Deceived. He wrote the second most powerful thing I have ever read here.


----------



## bandit.45

WhiteRaven said:


> How is Larcarx? Is he ok? Would have been an awesome human being to know.


We believe he was killed in a work-related accident.


----------



## bandit.45

WhiteRaven said:


> Inspiring.
> 
> I did something rather different and evil. I banged the OMW, recorded it and showed it to the OM. He is a basketcase now.


That's cool. 

There was another poster, a Military guy, who's wife was banging another soldier, and he ended up hooking up with the OM's wife. Pissed his WW off to no end.


----------



## davecarter

Who is *Lascarx *- and what was his story?


----------



## tdwal

bandit.45 said:


> We believe he was killed in a work-related accident.



Bandit I found a story from the accident that specifically said nobody else was involved. I also found a bunch of copies if the story but those we obviously AP distributions. I did find an announcement from the company on there Facebook site and I read all the condolence comments and nobody referred to praying for anybody except the family. What do you think?


----------



## walkonmars

How to do things right other than the aforementioned threads:

Malcolm38 for one:
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping...ning-affair-i-asked-her-leave-without-me.html

Probably the more painful (if not just out-and-out wrong) approach: Yessongs


----------



## Shift

Decorum said:


> DD and CM's thread because it was like a window into their motivations. And CM willingness to cheat considering how remorseful she was.
> 
> Tears thread for a similar reason, I still can’t fathom why she did it.
> 
> Both these threads haunt me from time to time.
> 
> I would love to archive a “Readers Digest” version of the most interesting threads for reference purposes. Maybe in a group or something.
> 
> Anyone want to undertake a project?
> 
> 
> Ha ha good concept LW!


DD's and CM's was brutal man. I followed that thread from day one and even though I'm single and never dated, it really had an impact on me. My heart ached so much for him. Completely changed my perspective of cheating after seeing him post. That thread was the reason I even created a TAM account.


----------



## WhiteRaven

bandit.45 said:


> That's cool.
> 
> There was another poster, a Military guy, who's wife was banging another soldier, and he ended up hooking up with the OM's wife. Pissed his WW off to no end.


Link?


----------



## davecarter

Not sure about 'best' but one thread that caught like wildfire was the *Mia *thread?
Anyone remember that? I didn't actually get to read it because it got removed by the Mods....and for longtime poster Shaggy it was the last straw.
Not sure about the exact details, but wasn't Mia the wife, who resisted for ages the advances and fishing of a real scumbag OM....and then, not only gave in to the OM and slept with him / started an affair.,..but was going to _leave _her husband for him too? :scratchhead:

Troll-thread or not...a LOT of posters got wound-up by it.


----------



## just got it 55

Disenchanted said:


> Remember "There's Something Creepy Happening in my Home"?











I bought it hook line and sinker

55


----------



## Gabriel

Another compelling, frustrating, unique thread was Harken Banks' with his wife chiming in. Both attorneys, I believe, and they argued as such, right on the thread. Harken is one of the most interesting posters on TAM.


----------



## LongWalk

tdwal said:


> Bandit I found a story from the accident that specifically said nobody else was involved. I also found a bunch of copies if the story but those we obviously AP distributions. I did find an announcement from the company on there Facebook site and I read all the condolence comments and nobody referred to praying for anybody except the family. What do you think?


I also found that this does not match up. There are many possible explanations. But regardless the writing was excellent.


----------



## LongWalk

Yes, Harken has that combination of objectivity, empathy and introspection. He is a way above average athlete (now a ski coach but was nationally ranked as a competitor). Brain is above average. The family has money. But his wife is not attracted to him, or least not enthusiastically in love.

It's a thread like his that makes me doubt that monogamy is accepted. People are married and one day they just don't buy it. The also do not accept divorce because of the expense and hassle. They cheat and then begrudgingly reconcile.


----------



## Gabriel

LongWalk said:


> Y
> 
> It's a thread like his that makes me doubt that monogamy is accepted. People are married and one day they just don't buy it. The also do accept divorce because of the expense and hassle. They cheat and then begrudgingly reconcile.


I don't know, that's a lot of generalizations in one paragraph. Harken's wife wasn't really into the guy she had the EA with. She and Harken just clashed, personality-wise, despite their combined high-social status and money. And neither could ever back down from an argument - not a good combination. They had plenty of means to divorce. In their case, I think they tried sticking it out because of their 3 or 4 daughters.


----------



## alte Dame

Gabriel said:


> Another compelling, frustrating, unique thread was Harken Banks' with his wife chiming in. Both attorneys, I believe, and they argued as such, right on the thread. Harken is one of the most interesting posters on TAM.


I think Harken is a very compelling intellect. Thoughtful, educated, smart. Definitely one of the most interesting posters to read. I feel very sorry for what has happened in his marriage.


----------



## warlock07

He is just staying to keep peace. He is a being held hostage for the kids. He doesn't like or love his wife.. he is worried what she will do with regards to the kids if divorce happens


----------



## LongWalk

He still wishes she would be more affectionate. But perhaps it is just a desire for harmony?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## BetrayedDad

davecarter said:


> Not sure about 'best' but one thread that caught like wildfire was the *Mia *thread?
> Anyone remember that? I didn't actually get to read it because it got removed by the Mods....and for longtime poster Shaggy it was the last straw.
> Not sure about the exact details, but wasn't Mia the wife, who resisted for ages the advances and fishing of a real scumbag OM....and then, not only gave in to the OM and slept with him / started an affair.,..but was going to _leave _her husband for him too? :scratchhead:
> 
> Troll-thread or not...a LOT of posters got wound-up by it.


I still question if it was a troll thread. If it was fake than that person REALLY did their homework into the psyche of a POS cheater. It was like an extreme window into the unfiltered mind of a sociopath. Without all the fake "I'm sorrys" and trickle truth every other BS in R usually falls for. No one wants to believe their WWs were as evil as her. That's why it hit a nerve with so many people. 

Sometimes the TRUTH is damn ugly and I wonder how many people would R if they REALLY KNEW what was in their WS's hearts. I read months of texts from my WW communicating with the OM. I was the ENEMY and the way she actively tried to deceive me was beyond heartless. You don't even treat strangers, strictly from a human decency standpoint let alone me being her HUSBAND, the way she continued to lie and betrayed me post DDay. All the while, smiling in my face and asking for R.


----------



## MattMatt

DarkHoly said:


> Is that the one where the wife noticed that the tea container was just a bit off, and she noticed just very small things that were different?
> 
> I found that intriguing. I was amazed that someone was able to pick up on such details.


My wife would pick up on something like that. 

Even if something is a centimetre or two off, she notices it!


----------



## MattMatt

just got it 55 said:


> View attachment 20874
> 
> 
> I bought it hook line and sinker
> 
> 55


I think perhaps Rosie lied to herself, then she lied to others. 

A whole lot of stuff going on, there.


----------



## sidney2718

Jellybeans said:


> I can never remember the poster's name but it was the one (eons ago) about the man' who's wife was in an emotional affair with the guy long-distance and he was going to pay for her to go visit the guy and use his car while he stayed home with the kids so she could "get it out of her system" and hopefully decide to stay with him. Nothing we said stuck with him and he was essentially the poster boy for what NOT do do when your spouse is having an affair.


I believe that was Skyhawk. I don't know the final resolution but IIUC his wife went to see the other guy, spent a week or so with him, and came back totally repentant. Last I heard (PM) they were reconciling.

There are two lessons to be learned here. One is that piling up on the OP because he doesn't seem to understand the situation sometimes drives the OP away. The other is that sometimes the OP understands his wife better than we do, because we are working with categories and he's working with the real person.


----------



## weightlifter

sidney2718 said:


> I believe that was Skyhawk. I don't know the final resolution but IIUC his wife went to see the other guy, spent a week or so with him, and came back totally repentant. Last I heard (PM) they were reconciling.
> 
> There are two lessons to be learned here. One is that piling up on the OP because he doesn't seem to understand the situation sometimes drives the OP away. The other is that sometimes the OP understands his wife better than we do, because we are working with categories and he's working with the real person.


Sorry, sending your spouse away to consumate an ea into a PA is ridiculous. I will agree however, that sometimes the piling on is well beyond excessive.

We had several of those. One guy with name oklahoma or something... Another more recent some guys wife supposedly only got to heavy petting... That may have been skyhawk. I dont believe it stopped at heavy petting. Come to think of it i think it was skyhawk... Of course they fvcked... Sad.


----------



## weightlifter

Inalways wonder how Logan3 is doing. He got piled on by a few and left. Hope he is doing ok.


----------



## Mr Blunt

*For those that love seeing Mr. Infidelity get his AZZ KICKED, read the very long Reconciliation thread by B1.*


This couple has given so much good information for the WS and the BS that it should be in book form for marriage counselors. Both are great writers and very honest and transparent.* By far the best post for those that want to get information about how to start rebuilding and reconciliation. *

There are a lot of other good posts by others, Mr. and Mrs. John Adams—30 years of R just to name one, on the reconciliation thread but B1 and EI are still kicking Mr. Infidelity in the AZZ and EI gives updates every so often. Their R is so successful that they are getting married again in a few months.


http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/52974-reconciliation.html


----------



## Headspin

MattMatt said:


> I think perhaps Rosie lied to herself, then she lied to others.
> 
> A whole lot of stuff going on, there.


That thread was insane - watching good people on here getting drawn into her madness believing her was strangely compelling but very sad too 

Didn't she actually mange to pull someone from here in the 'real' world? Think they actually communicated outside of TAM 

Very weird :scratchhead:


----------



## LongWalk

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/54244-could-get-worse-than.html

Here is BadMemory's thread


----------



## MattMatt

Headspin said:


> That thread was insane - watching good people on here getting drawn into her madness believing her was strangely compelling but very sad too
> 
> Didn't she actually mange to pull someone from here in the 'real' world? Think they actually communicated outside of TAM
> 
> Very weird :scratchhead:


I think some of what she wrote was true, but I think she blurred fiction with reality to the extent that she lost sight of what was real.

She reminded me of someone I knew in real life some years ago. On the face of it she was normal but in reality she was dangerously mentally ill. She made multiple false rape allegations throughout the UK and actually got one boy friend jailed before the police realised what she was doing. But she believed what she said, even though there was no basis in truth.


----------



## Disenchanted

Headspin said:


> Didn't she actually mange to pull someone from here in the 'real' world? Think they actually communicated outside of TAM
> 
> Very weird :scratchhead:


That would have been me.


----------



## Csquare

LongWalk said:


> The purpose would be to help. There are a few posters who come and are coached but they don't read much of anything. It is hard to find something, although CWI follows patterns.
> 
> BPD, Lifescript
> ReGroup
> 
> GutPunch wrote an amazing thread.
> 
> *It would be interesting to get the best women's threads. *They don't seem to go on as long. Perhaps as folks say women have better support from friends.
> 
> Erik415's experience had many followers.


I've been reading Surviving Infidelity website for women's stories. Seems women are more willing to forgive the infidelity as long as the man goes back to her. This could happen over and over again. Lots of anger towards the OW, but kind of a "boys will be boys" attitude towards WH. The advice to the BW is often, "Hon, at least he came back to *you* and isn't marrying the skanky OW."

I think CWI should be required reading for anyone deciding to marry.


----------



## jerry123

Gabriel said:


> Another vote for Shamwow. I would sneak onto the computer to get the updates. It was that compelling.
> 
> Eric415s was also a huge one.
> RDMU's was big too, but we never heard the resolution, so it instead goes down as the most frustrating thread ever.
> 
> I also was very intrigued by Jerry123's thread and was really motivated to help him.


Oh and the help was appreciated!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## jerry123

LongWalk said:


> Jerry123, definitely, for he showed that a stay at home dad with balls could completely shut down the disrespect. There was also plenty of detective stuff going on. The lack of clear resolution about her cheating, he never proved it, made everything ambiguous, until he created moral and emotional order. His wife, to her credit, changed.


Thank you!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## JustGrinding

LongWalk said:


> JustGrinding wrote a great piece. Shame that he split without resolution.


LongWalk, I still drop in and read/comment from time-to-time. Yes, that little vent piece of mine seemed to resonate with a lot of people on this site. Good.

Resolution? Exactly what does that mean? D or R? Door #1 or door#2? Choice A or B?

Divorce? You've got the spouse-dumpers who claim they're much happier, and I don't doubt it, but they're here. They're still talking about it. A recurring theme within this group seems to be: they're happier and wiser, but also carrying forward the battle-scars of their betrayal.

Reconciliation? Look at Mr. and Mrs. John Adams. Here in TAM, they're held up as a shining example of reconciliation and redemption. I look at it a little differently: thirty years later, and her adultery is still a key feature of their marital history and a regular topic of discussion -- an obvious source of pain these many years later. There's as much a lesson in that subtext as in their featured storyline of redemption.

Between these two extremes, lies the omnipresent human grayscale of individuality, but I really don't see where "resolution" fits into the picture.

No, LongWalk, there is no resolution for the betrayal of adultery. We all just find our own way to live with the scars.


----------



## WhiteRaven

JustGrinding said:


> there is no resolution for the betrayal of adultery. We all just find our own way to live with the scars.


This is the truth.

D is easier to accept, because you don't have to live with the trigger. R is to grin and bear it. Every bad day would have you triggering.


----------



## jules1990

Wranglerman's story of attempted blackmail is amazing, he took what he had learned from a bad situation in his life and really turned it around!

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/103314-proud-myself-exposing-cheater.html

Rooting for him on the 23rd


----------



## LongWalk

Hard to Detach told a great story that is not over yet.

He got his wife to cheat on OM and destroyed their relationship. They are in R but with uncertainty.


----------



## BetrayedDad

LongWalk said:


> He got his wife to cheat on OM and destroyed their relationship.


The amount of irony in this statement just blew my mind.

Reminds me of when my ex, shortly post D-Day, admitted she was in a monogamous realtionship with her OM.... 

How someone can be THAT delusional is beyond my comprehension.


----------



## WhiteRaven

BetrayedDad said:


> How someone can be THAT delusional is beyond my comprehension.


You are trying to understand a cheater? 
.
.
Seriously?


----------



## Almostrecovered

Page FIVE?!!

It took FIVE pages to get a mention?!!


I hate you all except JustPuzzled and LongWalk


----------



## weightlifter

LongWalk said:


> Hard to Detach told a great story that is not over yet.
> 
> He got his wife to cheat on OM and destroyed their relationship. They are in R but with uncertainty.


Yeah but he got plan B'ed hard. Remember the threat of if you take it physical it's over. She did with two (or was it three?) guys. I wish him well but he should have divorced her even if to date her again but reset that alimony clock. I liked him but winced when he took her back after she crossed the line.


----------



## warlock07

Almostrecovered said:


> Page FIVE?!!
> 
> It took FIVE pages to get a mention?!!
> 
> 
> I hate you all except JustPuzzled and LongWalk


you are the sticky post..you don't count


----------



## LongWalk

Almostrecovered said:


> Page FIVE?!!
> 
> It took FIVE pages to get a mention?!!
> 
> 
> I hate you all except JustPuzzled and LongWalk


Yours counts as one of the most literary.


----------



## familyfirst09

JustPuzzled said:


> Yes, she came back as a guy who was concerned about his W and the loose crowd at a sailing club. It got people pretty worked up. There were red flags from the beginning. I sent a PM to a mod pointing out a few. The thread was shut down shortly thereafter and the mod sent PM back saying it was her.



Omg, this is so not true lol. Where do people come up with these things??? Diwali came back as one other username and did not flirt with anyone. She was then blacklisted and attacked by others on here who did not like her. There was no sailing club or any of that crap. Lol. So funny.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## familyfirst09

Yes that is what I am telling you. Diwali did stupidly (and she knows) sign up more than one username when she was banned the first time but she didn't make up any stories or pretend to be a man lol. Believe it or not D helped a ton of people on TAM and is a very genuine and real woman, with troubles with ex's just like the rest of us. She was happpily married and still is and never flirted with other men, except in a joking around way like the rest of us do. So yes I am saying it is untrue. If its not, then someone will have to prove to me that I'm incorrect.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## familyfirst09

I would never ever disregard the word of a mod and he probably knows way more than I do and I have the utmost respect for them. 

However when D was banned her ISP would have been blocked. If she was a troll, they would have been able to tell by her ISP and she would not have been able to get access. That's how I understand it but again I could be wrong. In the end, D is a good person and I appreciate everything she has done for me and it's just a lot of lies being told, especially where she's been gone for 6 months now!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Q tip

Special mention to WL for unwavering support of the truth for all those in need of help.


----------



## familyfirst09

Who is WL???
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## 3putt

familyfirst09 said:


> I would never ever disregard the word of a mod and he probably knows way more than I do and I have the utmost respect for them.
> 
> However when D was banned her ISP would have been blocked. If she was a troll, they would have been able to tell by her ISP and she would not have been able to get access. That's how I understand it but again I could be wrong. In the end, D is a good person and I appreciate everything she has done for me and it's just a lot of lies being told, especially where she's been gone for 6 months now!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Any idea how ridiculously easy it is to reroute ISPs to disguise them? It's child's play.


----------



## Q tip

familyfirst09 said:


> Who is WL???
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


The one and only *WeighLifter*


----------



## familyfirst09

Oh yes lol. I don't know much about him but some of his posts make me laugh. StellaMoon was one of my favs, she had such a passionate writing style.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## LongWalk

Acoa's theater active wife thread is now instructive. He is a very eloquent guy.


----------



## Regret214

I agree. Although, I just read the whole thing the other day in one shot. It was pretty hard to read.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## LongWalk

Decorum,

Not all cheaters are rotten people. I have two friends who cheated and I know they are very good people. One ended up divorced. The other is still with her husband, but he doesn't deserve her. I don't know if she has confessed.


----------



## LongWalk

Regret214 said:


> I agree. Although, I just read the whole thing the other day in one shot. It was pretty hard to read.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I think he has strength and integrity. He will come out of this okay. His WW is going down in smoke and flames. Her window opportunity for R has narrowed to a slit.


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## Decorum

LongWalk said:


> Decorum,
> 
> Not all cheaters are rotten people. I have two friends who cheated and I know they are very good people. One ended up divorced. The other is still with her husband, but he doesn't deserve her. I don't know if she has confessed.


Longwalk,

Not all cheaters are rotten people.

Some people are rotten people.

I think good people can get caught up in cheating.

I will re-read my posts because your reply catches me off guard. 

Maybe my dislike for what she is doing to her husband came through stronger than I realized.

I trust your judgment regarding your friends.

Take care.


ETA: I have deleted the posts.


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## LongWalk

Decorum we are learning from each other.


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## manticore

with sadness I see that two of my favorites threads ( for the lessons they leave for other BS) have been deleted:

- *Disenchanted*'s thread (how to act towards your OM, how a man deeply in love with his WW that thinks that he will never be able to let her go but is able to move on and have a better relationship later, and how to handle your divorce and ex).

- *Oldsmitted*'s thread (realize if you simply are not the kind of man that can forgive infidelity even with your WW true remorse, how to handle your kids situation in the aftermath, and of course *he beat the crap of his OM just for that he was in my TOP*).

there are other pretty good threads that have not being mentioned.

*badblood*'s and *morituris*'s threads (with men that were always loyal and treated their WW as queens, hada pretty active sexual life and a very good marriage and they were betrayed anyway so the moved on realizing their own value as potential partner for other women (obviously their wives thought that too as they tried to kill themselves when the OPs didn't want reconcliation, thank God it it were fail attemps in the end).

and the threads of how a really remorsefull WW act.

*Rookie4

Dowjones*

I specially like dowjones's thread, really remorseful wife, no rugsweeping, consequences for OM and WW, sucessfully reconcilation and finally closure leaving TAM in 2011 when this place accomplished its porpuse, I hope he never have the need to be back again


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## LongWalk

Bullwinkle deleted his thread but not his posts.


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## manticore

please remind me, was Bullwinkle the one who found his wife had a 4 years affair with her exboss after cracking when she was about to take the polygraph test?


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## davecarter

Not sure if someone's posted this already - who was the married woman poster who came on CWI and said she was glad that TAM members had posted to her thread and convinced her / talked her out of starting an affair with a Alpha/Player-type OM who was after her....but then came back _x_ months later and said she'd actually succumbed and given in to the OM in the end and left her husband for him!?

What was the full story behind that?


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## LongWalk

manticore said:


> please remind me, was Bullwinkle the one who found his wife had a 4 years affair with her exboss after cracking when she was about to take the polygraph test?


Bullwinkle is military pilot whose wife had an affair with her boss. She drank too much and once hit him on the head with a bottle. His daughter like swimming and was dubbed penguin.


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## LongWalk

Bff's thread is a good one.

His wife and best friend betrayed him for years.


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## MattMatt

LongWalk said:


> Bff's thread is a good one.
> 
> His wife and best friend betrayed him for years.


That was a story of sadness, multiple betrayals (BFF's wife, long-term GF of the POSOM so-called best friend) and of moving on to a better place for Bff.

The clue in that scenario pretty early on was a simple one that gave the game away to several of us. The fact that WS was drinking from the glass of POSOM at social functions. A real red flag.


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## Chaparral

LongWalk said:


> Bullwinkle is military pilot whose wife had an affair with her boss. She drank too much and once hit him on the head with a bottle. His daughter like swimming and was dubbed penguin.



BUT, his wife found the thread, refuted much of it and really made it look like Bullwinkle had a screw loose. You couldn't tell what was going on but I never saw that Bullwinkle tried to refute her side. He made her look like an evil unrepentant floozey and when she finally came on at the end basicaly made him look like a total troll. A loveable troll though. The worse downside was the emotions people went through as he went to Afghanistan and left his daughter behind.

I believe he met up with one of our posters.


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## Chaparral

Does any one remember Lascarx's wife's name at SI? I wish a mod could look up their posts here to see if it was written on the same computer.


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## Acabado

Chaparral said:


> Does any one remember Lascarx's wife's name at SI? I wish a mod could look up their posts here to see if it was written on the same computer.


I've often wondered whether "relationship" websites administrators share troll intel. They should, despite the differences.


You have a PM Chaparral.


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## soccermom2three

Chaparral said:


> BUT, his wife found the thread, refuted much of it and really made it look like Bullwinkle had a screw loose. You couldn't tell what was going on but I never saw that Bullwinkle tried to refute her side. He made her look like an evil unrepentant floozey and when she finally came on at the end basicaly made him look like a total troll. A loveable troll though. The worse downside was the emotions people went through as he went to Afghanistan and left his daughter behind.
> 
> I believe he met up with one of our posters.


I followed his thread. When he was bonked over the head with a wine bottle by his wife and he was so cavalier about it, that was when I started thinking he was a troll. He could have died and left his daughter fatherless and he was making jokes. Now I think he embellished, (that's being nice), to make his story more interesting.


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## soccermom2three

I know this isn't a "Whatever happened to" thread but there are two stories that I read here when I first found TAM in November 2012 and I've always wondered what happened. Of course, I can't remember the usernames.

First one, the guy was contacted by the OM's wife and she had copies of texts and maybe emails between his wife and her husband (wife's boss). She said she would give him copies. I think the OP and the wife worked at the same company but different offices. The OP put a VAR in her car and only got a conversation between her and her girlfriend talking about the affair. He confronted and she admitted and she left for her girlfriends house. I believe the OM through her under the bus and was R'ing with the wife. The OP tried to get copies of the texts but the OM's wife changed her mind after she realized that the texts could be used to get the OM fired. The OP's wife was the OM's subordinate and I think it was implied that she was sleeping with him to get a promotion. I think the OP filed or was filing for divorce. 

Second one, happened around the holidays 2012-2013. I remember that the husband had the time off from work between Christmas and New Years, so this was all going down while he was home. OP found out her husband was having an EA with a coworker in another office, I think in another country. I know they were far away from each other. OP found emails maybe in his personal account but the OP made him open his work email and there was tons more. The husband seemed deeply ashamed and remorseful but he trickle truthed a lot claiming that he and the OW had never met in person BUT one of the last posts the OP made was she had found out that a business trip he had gone on had been to the OW's town/country. I don't know if she came back after that.


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## lordmayhem

WyshIknew said:


> Shamwow has to be one of the most awesome dudes ever to post.
> 
> Wife strayed while on business trips despite both saying infidelity was a deal breaker for them.
> 
> Found the evidence, left it on kitchen table and left.
> 
> Went completely dark for several days while she went frantic.
> 
> She got left with a house that was financially under water as Shamwow had just started a new business and his WW was the only one who the bank would accept as a signatory.
> 
> OM got taken to the cleaners by his BW.
> 
> Shamwow's ex still contacts him from time to time telling him that he was too good for her.
> 
> And as of last post he was enjoying life with a lovely red head while his ex was finding life difficult.
> 
> He basically had a plan, stuck to it and executed it brilliantly.


As much as I like Shamwow, we have to take into consideration that he did not have children with his XWW, didn't spend most of his life with her, and she wasn't a SAHM. His XWW didn't try to fight him on the divorce either, and they were able to dispose of their property thru mutually agreed terms.

The presence of children fundamentally complicates any infidelity situation. There's the battle over custody, the battle of visitation, battle over child support, emotional damage to the children, introducing OM to the children, etc, etc. Shamwow's XWW didn't have any children to hold over his head, therefore no real leverage. As we've seen here, there are many who will suck it up for the children, no matter how hurt or how unhappy they are. Then there's the fact that because there are children, the XWS will still be in the BS's life no matter what because of the contact needed over matters concerning the children. It makes it so much harder to detach and pull the trigger on D.


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## LongWalk

This is of course the classic post of all time.

And the thread of MrMathias has more than one Dday.

Bagdon's thread was not exactly a CWI thread but his wife admitted to thinking about other men in her diary. His thread is invaluable for any spouse trying to change the dynamics of their failing marriage.


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## warlock07

Bullwinkle thread had a twist. his wife posted at the end and looks like he made up a lot of his story


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## pidge70

anchorwatch said:


> SteelerGuy


HurtinTn
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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