# Erectile dysfunction in young adults



## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

I don't know what the statistic is on this but it seems to be more common than people realize. Also I think the stereotype that men want sex more and have more desire than women contributes to a lot of judgment and surprise/confusion when it does happen. 

But another good friend of mine who is dating casually said that she was with a man who had trouble getting and keeping an erection. I have heard many complaints like this. What I don't like is for this particular time he blamed it on not being use to condoms. So my friend felt pressured to have Sex without protection which isn't cool. 

I don't know if it's my preconceived notions or if this is just the reality that as a women wasn't aware about... that erectile problems are not just common for the "old". It almost seems like some men have become desensitized because of frequent porn use, but more sensitive to use of condoms and feeling pressure/stress or whatever.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

And as the biased feminist I am I just wanted to add that it seems that it's getting increasingly hard to be a women these days.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

So what is your question lol?


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

There is a lot of research that increased porn watching has contributed to younger ED rates. 

And yes, the men want more sex stereotype can hurt a lot of couples.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Also, you could replace "adults" with "men" in the thread title. Think we are safe on this topic saying it is a male issue


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## foolscotton3 (Nov 13, 2014)

EllisRedding said:


> So what is your question lol?


Would you rather sacrifice condoms or masturbation?

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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

foolscotton3 said:


> Would you rather sacrifice condoms or masturbation?
> 
> Sent from my Z799VL using Tapatalk


I only masturbate wearing condoms so it would be a no win situation


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

i don't think your perception is wrong.

some years back, when i was having some temporary issues, i joined an ED forum.

What really surprised me was the number of younger guys (20's/early 30's) who were complaining or seeking help
about issues. I would say about 1/4 of the forum participants were younger.

now, 1/4 of a small sample forum group does not translate to 1/4 of the real world.
in addition, many of these younger guys probably don't have organic ED, rather many of them probably fall under the category of
'performance anxiety', 'overuse of porn', et.

nevertheless, based on my limited research i would venture to say it's more common among the younger than thought for whatever reason.
i also don't buy the common stat's out there that break down ED by age groups, because i suspect a lot of younger guys don't want to admit they've experienced issues.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Is it more common in younger men, or is it just now a topic that more men feel comfortable talking about vs in years past where they would hide / deny any issue?


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

That seems like a different, but also interesting discussion.




katiecrna said:


> And as the biased feminist I am I just wanted to add that it seems that it's getting increasingly hard to be a women these days.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

EllisRedding said:


> Is it more common in younger men, or is it just now a topic that more men feel comfortable talking about vs in years past where they would hide / deny any issue?


i suspect it's the latter. i suspect that it's always been there. in fact, i suspect that we may have less of it today than bygone years because of better nutrition, vitamin supplements, better medical care, et. even in our junk food, fast food culture, there is no comparison to health even 100 years ago.
proved by the fact that we live 25 years longer, are taller, et.

no, i think it's always been there, but since there is a lot more sex going on, it's more of an issue and eventually a dude will seek help.
they'll try to ignore it for a while until their embarrassed with their girlfriends or wives.

my view is that we need to dispense the idea of ED being strictly an 'old guys' problem. primarily of course, age is the biggest factor, but by no means the only.

old stereotypes die a very slow death.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

jorgegene said:


> i suspect it's the latter. i suspect that it's always been there. in fact, i suspect that we may have less of it today than bygone years because of better nutrition, vitamin supplements, better medical care, et. even in our junk food, fast food culture, there is no comparison to health even 100 years ago.
> proved by the fact that we live 25 years longer, are taller, et.
> 
> no, i think it's always been there, but since there is a lot more sex going on, it's more of an issue and eventually a dude will seek help.
> ...


I think the ease in which a guy can discuss this anonymously online, plus the availability of ED meds without having to go to a doctor/pharmacy, make it a much more comfortable topic for guys to discuss vs years past.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

EllisRedding said:


> Is it more common in younger men, or is it just now a topic that more men feel comfortable talking about vs in years past where they would hide / deny any issue?




I think that it is a newish problem. Also a big difference between the 30 year old men today vs the 30 year old men 50 years ago is not only excess porn use, but today our youth is more unhealthy than they ever use to be. Overweight /diabetes/high blood pressure use to be a problems with the "old", and now we are seeing it more frequently in younger people which can affect quality of an erection.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

katiecrna said:


> And as the biased feminist I am I just wanted to add that it seems that it's getting *increasingly hard to be a women* these days.


Hey!

You are a lovely women...women need to be soft creatures. Not meaning---> being a pushover.

Hard edges are not 'helpful'. They pinch and hurt a man and cut off his blood flow.
...................................................................................................................................................

When you go to the spice rack, you NOW seem inclined to pick 'bitter' as your 'go to' general purpose additive.

Don't turn bitter on us.

One bad relationship does not make all male/female pairings bad.

Men have their 'short'comings. Women have their eyes closed.

Having a working penis is a God send....and yes, a hardship.

A Hard-Ship in a rough Sea of Anxious.... over sensitive Women.

Women need to relax...and enjoy the ride.

Men? They must get the Committee of Naysayers on board. Most of these bodily weeny boys are Gland Lubbers, Get She Sick, and wither away, shirk/jerk when entering an unfriendly Port of Call.

With a crew like this, he is likely to crash into the Port's She Peer. And then he breaks his mast. His top sail goes low. He falters for lack of wind at his back.

I think men want nothing more than to please their lovers, especially in the beginning. 

Quit blaming it on porn. I blame it on Performance Anxiety. Today's women are much more experienced and much less forgiving a man his floppy foibles.

I hope to Gawd that you find a man that curls your toes and throws out your bitter Spice.

*We are all in this together. *

Men love to be 'in'. Be patient. Be a teacher, not a critic.

Just Sayin'


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

SunCMars said:


> Hey!
> 
> You are a lovely women...women need to be soft creatures. Not meaning---> being a pushover.
> 
> ...




Men suck. If you don't bring home the bacon, don't bring in the orgasm, don't do the dishes, and aren't emotionally supportive what the heck are you doing? Us women can't do everything! 

Man up. We are tired too. Turn off the porn and video games. Put down the beer and dry a dish. Grab your wife and kiss her and tell her how sexy she is. Stop whining about being emasculated and do something about it. I don't know what happened but along the way men stopped acting like men and started acting like kids. Stop being afraid of the big bad wolf! Stand up to us!!! We miss our men being men!


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

I don't initiate sex because I'm afraid to be turned down... I mean come on! Wah wah wah. Here's a secret men... most women want to be passionately desired by you and banged really good! There is literally nothing better.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

katiecrna said:


> Men suck. If you don't bring home the bacon, don't bring in the orgasm, don't do the dishes, and aren't emotionally supportive what the heck are you doing? Us women can't do everything!
> 
> Man up. We are tired too. Turn off the porn and video games. Put down the beer and dry a dish. Grab your wife and kiss her and tell her how sexy she is. Stop whining about being emasculated and do something about it. I don't know what happened but along the way men stopped acting like men and started acting like kids. Stop being afraid of the big bad wolf! Stand up to us!!! We miss our men being men!


Women suck!
If they don't put out, clean up, fill the coffers, and tell us how freakin' awesome we are, what the heck good are they? We men can't do everything! We work our @$$es off, come home to a disaster and a woman in sweats watching Oprah, if we're lucky we get a TV dinner, if we're really lucky we may get some unenthusiastic sex even though we are willing to do ANYTHING it takes to make it more pleasurable for her -- but noooooo, working with us to get better at pleasing her, well that takes too0 much effort and we're just not worth the effort! 

Be a real woman. Turn off the TV, put down the romance novel, share a lovingly cooked meal, and get freaky with us, and for God's sake woman, have a little patience with us, we're not mind readers. We really want to please, and we're trainable, so maybe you could appreciate that a little and use it to fuel a little desire once in a while. We're not afraid of anything, except maybe not being able to please you!

On second thought, women don't suck. If they would, we'd have a lot better relationships!!!

See how constructive such dialogue is? Goes a long way to solving problems doesn't it?


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> Women suck!
> 
> If they don't put out, clean up, fill the coffers, and tell us how freakin' awesome we are, what the heck good are they? We men can't do everything! We work our @$$es off, come home to a disaster and a woman in sweats watching Oprah, if we're lucky we get a TV dinner, if we're really lucky we may get some unenthusiastic sex even though we are willing to do ANYTHING it takes to make it more pleasurable for her -- but noooooo, working with us to get better at pleasing her, well that takes too0 much effort and we're just not worth the effort!
> 
> ...




Women: they work, clean, cook, do laundry raise the kids, are the go to person in the house because no one knows where Anything is, and now we have to cradle your ego and are responsible for your erections? All while looking attractive, dressing nice, and being "soft". Maybe we would put out more if we weren't so tired from doing everything, including generating romance and creating your erections. Maybe we would put out more if you half resembled the man we fell in love with when we were dating.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

katiecrna said:


> Women: they work, clean, cook, do laundry raise the kids, are the go to person in the house because no one knows where Anything is, and now we have to cradle your ego and are responsible for your erections? Maybe we would put out more if we weren't so tired from doing everything, including generating romance and creating your erections. Maybe we would put out more if you half resembled the man we fell in love with when we were dating.


Oh please. We work 50 hrs/week, make a good living, cook gourmet meals, give massages, put up with chick flicks, do anything and everything we possibly can to please our women in every way. We study, practice, even ask for guidance which is harder than asking for directions. We plan romantic weekends and exotic trips. We are everything from Mr. Fix It to Mr. Gigolo and still get little to no response. We spend our whole lives wondering what the h3!! it takes for the ladies we devote our live to, to get half as jazzed about getting naked as we get with no more prodding than a glance at her gorgeous face.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

What I would give to find a man that was confident and actually reads my signs. A man that isn't afraid to grab me and kiss me while being smart enough to know when to stop and when to continue. A man that isn't so fragile that the thought of being turned down doesn't discourage him from reaching out to me. A man who sees and acknowledges when I wear something "special" that he would walk up to me and start kissing me. 
I'm sorry but I don't want to be in a relationship where we have to talk about having sex before having sex. Man that sounds awful.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

katiecrna said:


> Women: they work, clean, cook, do laundry raise the kids, are the go to person in the house because no one knows where Anything is, and now we have to cradle your ego and are responsible for your erections? All while looking attractive, dressing nice, and being "soft". Maybe we would put out more if we weren't so tired from doing everything, including generating romance and creating your erections. Maybe we would put out more if you half resembled the man we fell in love with when we were dating.


I have honestly never personally known a woman in real life that is what you describe here. I have known many who claim to be all that, but reality doesn't back their view of themselves. Thankfully my wife isn't one if then. 

Now if you'll excuse me, I just got home from work, and i need to go cook supper, and make sure that my wife who is in bed and not feeling well is nice and comfortable and taken care of.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

katiecrna said:


> What I would give to find a man that was confident ...


A reasonable expectation. Everyone deserves that.



katiecrna said:


> ...and actually reads my signs.


But that sounds like you're drifting into mind reading requirements, a rather less reasonable expectation. 




katiecrna said:


> A man that isn't afraid to grab me and kiss me ...





katiecrna said:


> ... while being smart enough to know when to stop and when to continue.


Again, mind reading--nothing to do with being "smart." Sometimes you have to actually communicate. 



katiecrna said:


> A man that isn't so fragile that the thought of being turned down doesn't discourage him from reaching out to me.


That's great. Most men are like that at the start. But even the bravest, strongest, most self confident man will eventually get discouraged given enough refusals. He will focus his energies elsewhere, where he has a higher chance of success. 



katiecrna said:


> A man who sees and acknowledges when I wear something "special" that he would walk up to me and start kissing me.


We would love women who actually wear something special. We're perfectly happy with naked, but we appreciate the effort that goes into wearing something special. Which is why we lose effort seeing baggy sweats every day.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Situations vary. I'm sure there are lots of people in the situation you are in. There are also lots of other situations. 

I haven't been out of a job (or full time student) since ~1980 (so has she). 

The majority of times I've had sex with a woman, she has had an O, and I've always at least done my best for her. 

I do the dishes and most food shopping - she cooks. (trust me , its better than the reverse).

I think I'm emotionally supportive. 

I only play video games when she doesn't want to spend time with me. I only watch porn when she has turned me down for sex.

Don't drink beer. 

When I grab her and kiss her, she kisses back. But if I take it any further she will tell me in no uncertain terms to stop - EVERY SINGLE TIME IN THE LAST YEAR. I'm not saying a playful "cut it out", but a dead serious "I'm feeling [sick / tired / etc] so not tonight]. So I've stopped asking - what is the point? 


Lots of different people in lots of different situations. 





katiecrna said:


> Men suck. If you don't bring home the bacon, don't bring in the orgasm, don't do the dishes, and aren't emotionally supportive what the heck are you doing? Us women can't do everything!
> 
> Man up. We are tired too. Turn off the porn and video games. Put down the beer and dry a dish. Grab your wife and kiss her and tell her how sexy she is. Stop whining about being emasculated and do something about it. I don't know what happened but along the way men stopped acting like men and started acting like kids. Stop being afraid of the big bad wolf! Stand up to us!!! We miss our men being men!


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

There are a lot of men like that, you just haven't found one yet. 

To be fair though, you need to be sure that your "signs" really are clear. Men can be romantic an passionate, but they can't be perfect mind readers. There is (as there should be) an extremely strong stigma against forcing sex on a woman, so you can't be too upset if they misread a sign and stop when you want them to continue. That is a far better mistake to make than continuing if you really do want them to stop.

Other than the mind reading the rest is not uncommon. I completely agree that if you wear something sexy, your partner should respond in an active appreciative way. 






katiecrna said:


> What I would give to find a man that was confident and actually reads my signs. A man that isn't afraid to grab me and kiss me while being smart enough to know when to stop and when to continue. A man that isn't so fragile that the thought of being turned down doesn't discourage him from reaching out to me. A man who sees and acknowledges when I wear something "special" that he would walk up to me and start kissing me.
> I'm sorry but I don't want to be in a relationship where we have to talk about having sex before having sex. Man that sounds awful.


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

Referencing back to the OP, it may be just difficult for someone who is "casually" dating to become aroused. 

I could not get aroused for someone I can't trust. 

It also could be porn and a combination of other factors. Men today have lower testosterone levels than their grandfathers, how did that happen?


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

MrsAldi said:


> It also could be porn and a combination of other factors. Men today have lower testosterone levels than their grandfathers, how did that happen?




YES!!! This is what I'm saying. I think this is unfortunately becoming the new normal. What's up with the low T levels.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

https://www.google.com/amp/thechart.blogs.cnn.com/2011/08/18/modern-life-rough-on-men/amp/


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

https://www.google.com/amp/amp.nati.../male-physical-decline-masculinity-threatened


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## Handy (Jul 23, 2017)

Nine out of 10 teachers in schools are female. The school classes are geared to behaviors typically considered girlish. Sixty % of college students are female. I read that 25% to 41% of boys do not have live in fathers, dads only talk to their sons less than an hour a week.

In other words society is slowly driving out some of the masculine behaviors that were common 60 - 100 years ago. 

I wonder if the food we eat and the growth hormones, antibiotics, and food processing has something to do with males being less energetic. I see way too many boys and girls being over weight. That has to be a major problem. Over weight people seem to be less active and look for the easy way to do things.

*Uhtred
To be fair though, you need to be sure that your "signs" really are clear. Men can be romantic an passionate, but they can't be perfect mind readers. There is (as there should be) an extremely strong stigma against forcing sex on a woman, so you can't be too upset if they misread a sign and stop when you want them to continue. That is a far better mistake to make than continuing if you really do want them to stop.*

What Uhtred posted.

About the sex stuff, being rejected, listing to complaints I am over sexed-we just did it (yea 30-60 days ago) I got to the point of why bother. If sex happens I will pay for it in other ways. No thanks. I already paid several times. I would love to work out a plan so we are both happy but I need something other than her saying she doesn't know what might work. Everything I tried didn't work for her. All I heard were complaints. My crystal ball turned to iron and got rusty.

There is a process in behavioral psychology. Reward somethings you like or where there is improvement. Remove too many rewards and the behavior gets extinguished. This is where *That is a far better mistake to make than continuing if you really do want them to stop* comes into play.

As far as something looking good on a woman, clothing wise, I am like an equivalent to being color blind. Jeans and a T-shirt look good to me. Hair, clean is good. Nails, clean is good. I am a hands on guy so looks are less important but happy/satisfied is important.


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

katiecrna said:


> Women: they work, clean, cook, do laundry raise the kids, are the go to person in the house because no one knows where Anything is, and now we have to cradle your ego and are responsible for your erections? All while looking attractive, dressing nice, and being "soft". Maybe we would put out more if we weren't so tired from doing everything, including generating romance and creating your erections. Maybe we would put out more if you half resembled the man we fell in love with when we were dating.


I have to agree that there is some truth in here. 

But I think any good person would be willing to help out with anything once asked and explained what needs to be done.
It's all about communication and finding the right solutions that work in your individual marriage. 

Some people can do it all without a sweat, without needing help, I applaud them, but most struggle with trying to "have it all" in marriage, maybe we are putting too much pressure on ourselves? 

When I tried to do it all, I ended up exhausted. I had to find something that worked for me and gave me happiness, so I did what I wanted and my husband seemed more than happy to help. Although sometimes I have to remind him about my wants and needs. 

Any partner who isn't willing to pull their weight and work on the relationship, isn't worth being with at all. 

Some men haven't a clue about romance or what to do, he can't read my mind so I have to explain what I need. 

Being feminine is hard to do after spending all day in a competitive work environment, being "soft" in work gets you sometimes exploited, we take on more work than we should, because we are often too agreeable at times. I found writing and videos by John Gray(Mars/Venus) and Jordan Peterson to be helpful in that area, it may help you to.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

katiecrna said:


> Men suck. If you don't bring home the bacon, don't bring in the orgasm, don't do the dishes, and aren't emotionally supportive what the heck are you doing? Us women can't do everything!
> 
> Man up. We are tired too. Turn off the porn and video games. Put down the beer and dry a dish. Grab your wife and kiss her and tell her how sexy she is. Stop whining about being emasculated and do something about it. I don't know what happened but along the way men stopped acting like men and started acting like kids. Stop being afraid of the big bad wolf! Stand up to us!!! We miss our men being men!


I have said before I see a trend where women are becoming more dominant and men are becoming passive. I think in the future we will see a role reversal and women will rule the world! Personally I can't wait.lol One thing I will say is if men start having babies we won't take nine months to do it, that's such a waste of time, should only take a couple weeks tops.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

So really the theme of this thread ... Women are awesome and men suck :scratchhead::scratchhead::scratchhead:

Women definitely have it so much harder now, should just go back to the good old days where they had limited career opportunities and were expected to be not much more then a housewife who waited on their H ... yup much harder now ... :slap:

The truth, both men AND women have a lot of challenges between finding/maintaining a relationship, a career, being a parent, finding time for themselves, etc... If you want to think that one gender universally has it SO hard, the others suck, etc... that is the type of attitude that will leave someone alone and bitter.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Speaking as a woman -- No, all men don't suck. That's a ridiculous comment. Just because your husband failed you doesn't mean all men fail all women. That's a generalization that's very, very far from the truth. And it's tiresome. My husband most certainly failed me but I don't blame all men because of it.


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

EllisRedding said:


> So really the theme of this thread ... Women are awesome and men suck :scratchhead::scratchhead::scratchhead:












What this thread is getting like... 


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

MrsAldi said:


> What this thread is getting like...
> 
> 
> Sent from my F3311 using Tapatalk


Haha. I guess I just don't get the point. Let's be honest, the point of this thread wasn't really to discuss ED in younger men, but really just meant to be a man hating thread.

This guy I know (I have talked to him at the gym, I coached his son in soccer, etc...), real nice guy. Him and his W just had their second child. If my sources are correct, his W has also been banging another guy from the gym (I don't know whether or not he knows, his W is a personal trainer at the gym). I could take this, a few other personal examples I know, and some stuff I read online, come to the conclusion that women suck and men have it harder lol.

Most men and most women are good people. Then there are those on both sides who just absolutely suck. Roles are changing and both sides are still adapting to this, there will be growing pains.

The problem as well, the OP proclaims herself a biased feminist and then goes on to bash men in general, which IMO only further pushes the negative stereotypes you see associated with feminism. 

Only fitting for your giraffe gif 










Hope the pregnancy is going well Mrs A, a little less than 2 months I believe?


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

katiecrna said:


> YES!!! This is what I'm saying. I think this is unfortunately becoming the new normal. What's up with the low T levels.


I think nowadays men are more stressed with their jobs, trying to cover so many things. Men are simple creatures, now they are expected to be breadwinners, great cooks, great fathers, Lotharios in the bedroom, etc. Years ago, the wife and the husband had distinct and separate roles which were very clearly defined. Nowadays men are stressed from the blending of roles in much the same way as are women.
Many women work, do a lot of the things men do and carry a large share of the household duties too, (no one can deny that, there is a plethora of research on this). So all in all imo, the modern lifestyle causes many of these problems.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

aine said:


> I think nowadays men are more stressed with their jobs, trying to cover so many things. Men are simple creatures, now they are expected to be breadwinners, great cooks, great fathers, Lotharios in the bedroom, etc. Years ago, the wife and the husband had distinct and separate roles which were very clearly defined. Nowadays men are stressed from the blending of roles in much the same way as are women.
> Many women work, do a lot of the things men do and carry a large share of the household duties too, (no one can deny that, there is a plethora of research on this). So all in all imo, the modern lifestyle causes many of these problems.


QFT.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

katiecrna said:


> Women: they work, clean, cook, do laundry raise the kids, are the go to person in the house because no one knows where Anything is, and now we have to cradle your ego and are responsible for your erections? All while looking attractive, dressing nice, and being "soft". Maybe we would put out more if we weren't so tired from doing everything, including generating romance and creating your erections. Maybe we would put out more if you half resembled the man we fell in love with when we were dating.


This talk.
This rant.
This taunt.

Is bringing out the 3.5% Neanderthal in me.

Oh yeah! >

That is the only part that you probably 'like', about me.
.............................................................................................................................................

In this World, circa 2017:

When men "misinterpret" this "dare you" MF. And act. They end up in jail for Rape and Battery.

*Ulysses was the first man to throw the Red Queen down on the ground and pound her slot silly. Every day for a straight year.
This Love/Hate relationship has lasted for Millennia.

And it still does with the descendants of *such men.

..............................................................................................................................................

You talk tough. You do. Tough is @lifeistooshort, @She'sStillGotIt, maybe @Satya. Not you.

The first time some broad shouldered "manly" dude slams your ass in the dirt you will call 911.

Be careful what you ask for. 

This world is one mean MF. 
It literally slices up, bitter, tough talking women, dozens of them daily. And they get buried in shallow graves or pitched in the woods or in a dumpster.

Mean men suck. And the world is rife with them...Dear.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> Oh please. We work 50 hrs/week, make a good living, cook gourmet meals, give massages, put up with chick flicks, do anything and everything we possibly can to please our women in every way. We study, practice, even ask for guidance which is harder than asking for directions. We plan romantic weekends and exotic trips. We are everything from Mr. Fix It to Mr. Gigolo and still get little to no response. We spend our whole lives wondering what the h3!! it takes for the ladies we devote our live to, to get half as jazzed about getting naked as we get with no more prodding than a glance at her gorgeous face.


And where, prey tell, would one FIND this mythological creature of which you speak?


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

katiecrna said:


> Women: they work, clean, cook, do laundry raise the kids, are the go to person in the house because no one knows where Anything is, and now we have to cradle your ego and are responsible for your erections? All while looking attractive, dressing nice, and being "soft". Maybe we would put out more if we weren't so tired from doing everything, including generating romance and creating your erections. Maybe we would put out more if you half resembled the man we fell in love with when we were dating.


Do you have kids? I would assume so since you sure seem to be speaking about all that goes into raising kids. I get it, women are Super Moms and Super Wives, us Husbands are just along for the ride.

Currently I work a ton of hours, only home for about 2+ hours or so after work before it is time to go to bed, rinse and repeat (Wife has been a SAHM for about 4 yrs now). Even though I am rarely home during the week, on the weekends I am the one running around with the kids to sports, church, etc (this is not uncommon for many of the other guys I am friends with as well)... This doesn't make me super dad or diminish in any way the role my W plays. We are simply doing our part playing the roles we find best fit our situation.

As @aine pointed out, in society now many people are trying to adapt to these blended roles where it isn't as clearly defined as in the past.



katiecrna said:


> What I would give to find a man that was confident and actually reads my signs. A man that isn't afraid to grab me and kiss me while being smart enough to know when to stop and when to continue. A man that isn't so fragile that the thought of being turned down doesn't discourage him from reaching out to me. A man who sees and acknowledges when I wear something "special" that he would walk up to me and start kissing me.
> I'm sorry but I don't want to be in a relationship where we have to talk about having sex before having sex. Man that sounds awful.


"Reads my signs" ... there is a fine line between reading signs and being asked to be a mind reader (if you can't understand the difference between the two then odds are you are the problem)

A guy shouldn't be discouraged at the thought of being turned down??? First off, if he thinks he might be turned down, maybe YOU are the one giving the wrong signs  As someone else here commented on, whether male or female, if you get turned down enough by your SO, you will quickly get discouraged and focus your energy elsewhere.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Handy said:


> I read that 25% to 41% of boys do not have live in fathers, dads only talk to their sons less than an hour a week.
> 
> In other words society is slowly driving out some of the masculine behaviors that were common 60 - 100 years ago.


If a boy is saddled with a non live-in, *minimally involved *father for a parent, that's not society's fault. It's dead-beat daddy's fault for being a selfish ass-hole and CHOOSING not to be more involved with his son.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Cooper said:


> I have said before I see a trend where women are becoming more dominant and men are becoming passive. I think in the future we will see a role reversal and *women will rule the world! Personally I can't wait.lol * One thing I will say is if men start having babies we won't take nine months to do it, that's such a waste of time, should only take a couple weeks tops.


Gawd help us.

This thinking re-inforces Katies argument. And pleases the PC world that we live in.

The Neanderthals went extinct not because they were less intelligent, rather they were more clannish and solitary.
They did not eff everything warm.
.......................................................................................................................................
Expounding on this line of thought:

When Women rule the World-


Most boy babies will be killed.

The remainder, "cute men" will be caged, I see/witness a young women reaching through the cage bars. Milking these 'cuties' as one does a Poisonous Viper, their semen stored for when a women needs a baby. A girl baby.
........................................................................................................................................

For the record:

This will not happen.

Men will raze the Earth and set it ablaze if their access to women is denied.

Keep in mind, it will be the one or two percent of men that will not permit this. Another eight percent will follow on once the fire ball is launched. The rest of the men will hunker down and be terrified. Waiting for someone to "save" them.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> And where, prey tell, would one FIND this mythological creature of which you speak?


For the most part, in the same place we would find Kat's mythological woman.
That's the whole point of the post.

Although it's not quite as ridiculous as you might think: 

I do work hard in a job I have long since stopped enjoying, but I earn a top 10% income that provides her a very safe, secure, and comfortable life.
I take her out to romantic dinners regularly
I am a gourmet chef (which she likes even more than going out). What's more I can tailor my culinary wizardry to whatever my wife's diet of the month is (no gluten this week? Okay, I can do that. No dairy? Okay, I can make that work as well. When cook, I make enough for a few nights, thus reducing her need to cook thereafter
I give awesome back and foot massages. Am happy to massage other areas when she's receptive :wink2:
I plan and execute romantic getaways
We go for long walks in the park a couple times every week. 
I help around the house regularly
I study a variety of sources to improve my skills as a husband and partner. I learn from books, these forums, and most importantly, just paying keen attention to her, listening actively and being sensitive to all her signals.
I don't take it personally when she turns me down, and no matter how often she does, I'm always willing to perform when requested. She has never been denied.
I express my love and appreciation daily, usually in multiple ways.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> And where, prey tell, would one FIND this mythological creature of which you speak?


Ask my wife where she found hers


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

EllisRedding said:


> Haha. I guess I just don't get the point. Let's be honest, the point of this thread wasn't really to discuss ED in younger men, but really just meant to be a man hating thread.


ED needs to be discussed in a reasonable way and not to put anyone down. It may just be the the guy in the OP really just didn't like condoms, in that case to him I recommend that he avoid casual sex. It may feel like rejection for some when a man loses an erection, hence the negative argument. 




> This guy I know (I have talked to him at the gym, I coached his son in soccer, etc...), real nice guy. Him and his W just had their second child. If my sources are correct, his W has also been banging another guy from the gym (I don't know whether or not he knows, his W is a personal trainer at the gym). I could take this, a few other personal examples I know, and some stuff I read online, come to the conclusion that women suck and men have it harder lol.


I honestly don't know where these people find the time to cheat, especially with children. I pity the children. 



> Most men and most women are good people. Then there are those on both sides who just absolutely suck. Roles are changing and both sides are still adapting to this, there will be growing pains.
> 
> The problem as well, the OP proclaims herself a biased feminist and then goes on to bash men in general, which IMO only further pushes the negative stereotypes you see associated with feminism.


The likes of modern day feminism and MGTOW do nothing but divide and embrace being a victim. If there is any evidence to show that they help to promote love and unity, I will happily stand corrected. 

Me and my husband completed a communication workshop programme and our marriage is going excellent. You can never have enough information about improving things. 



> Only fitting for your giraffe gif
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 Sucks to be a little elephant! 

Yes thank you for asking, all is well.  



Sent from my F3311 using Tapatalk


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> And where, prey tell, would one FIND this mythological creature of which you speak?


When young...I was that creature.

Now that I am old, I want to return to that creature, climb back in his skin.

Alas, to do so would label me a "Dirty Old Man".

I guess I am THAT.

Inwardly................ outwardly I am polite and courteous. 

On climbing back into that skin: Please hurry up!......Science and Medicine.

My days are numbered, my nights long.

Just Sayin'

SCM


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

You don't see it as a future where they are equal?




Cooper said:


> I have said before I see a trend where women are becoming more dominant and men are becoming passive. I think in the future we will see a role reversal and women will rule the world! Personally I can't wait.lol One thing I will say is if men start having babies we won't take nine months to do it, that's such a waste of time, should only take a couple weeks tops.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Its also pretty much me, except I don't cook (at least no one has ever asked twice....).

I've always had a good job. Go out for romantic dinners 1-2X/week. Take romantic vacations 3X/year. (South pacific, Venice etc), with some weekend trips thrown in. Do my share of chores. Am happy to do anything she wants in bed, whenever she wants it. I'm healthy and reasonably fit, have interesting hobbies etc. 


There are a lot of good men. Many of them are in permanent relationships, because one characteristic of being a good man is being loyal to your life partner. 

There are also a lot of good women. Sadly the good men and good women don't always find each other,. 

My advice for trying to find these mythical creatures: Don't be put off by surface impressions. Back when I was in college, I dressed poorly (I was in fact *poor*). I was shy around women. Most women didn't notice me. But it turns out that I'm a very good partner for *some* women. 







She'sStillGotIt said:


> And where, prey tell, would one FIND this mythological creature of which you speak?


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

I don't think ED in young adults is anything new. All kinds of reasons it happens, in young men however its mostly mental. Not sure if porn has anything to do with it. Guys that are so far gone into porn addiction tend to prefer it over real women anyway. I think its stage fright. Speaking from experience when I was younger and in much better shape I had a bout with it. It was completely mental. One day literally NOTHING worked. My partner made it worse by freaking out. Because we were both worried about it the next time we tried, the same thing happened again! She freaked out even worse that time, started crying because she felt I didn't want her. So a few days later we tried again. This time the same thing happened, NOTHING, but she handled it differently. She looked me in the eyes, told me she loved me and that we'd get through it together. Then she kissed me. Within thirty seconds I was back in business, haven't had a problem since. Once you fail to launch once....if you're not careful you can't get out of your own way mentally sometimes. It can become a self fulfilling prophecy.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

MrsAldi said:


> ED needs to be discussed in a reasonable way and not to put anyone down. It may just be the the guy in the OP really just didn't like condoms, in that case to him I recommend that he avoid casual sex. It may feel like rejection for some when a man loses an erection, hence the negative argument.


Agreed. I think this is an important topic, a reason why my disappointment in this thread where it was really used just as a basis to blast men.

There still is the question, has ED in young men increased, or is it just a situation where men now have more avenues to discuss as well as get medication (both anonymously). Honestly, IDK.

Could be a combination of a myriad of factors (porn usage, lower t levels, environmental factors, health factors, stress, The Lifetime Channel  ). Also, once it happens, it can really mess with your head, only making the situation that much worse. I can only think of a handful of times I ever had an issue maintaining my Giant sequoia (a couple of occasions where condoms eventually made me feel numb and a couple where whether it was stress or not, had other things on my mind). Fortunately they were just one offs, but I do remember the mental mind **** when it did happen.

I have viewed plenty of porn since I was in college (when access started becoming much easier) and it has had no impact on my performance. It might be more related to the person who is viewing (i.e. those with addictive personalities may be the ones who the suffer the most).




MrsAldi said:


> I honestly don't know where these people find the time to cheat, especially with children. I pity the children.


Well, in the case of the person I mentioned, I guess it is easy to find the time by picking up dudes at the gym you work at lol



MrsAldi said:


> The likes of modern day feminism and MGTOW do nothing but divide and embrace being a victim. If there is any evidence to show that they help to promote love and unity, I will happily stand corrected.


:smthumbup:



MrsAldi said:


> Me and my husband completed a communication workshop programme and our marriage is going excellent. You can never have enough information about improving things.


:smthumbup:



MrsAldi said:


> !
> 
> Yes thank you for asking, all is well.


IIRC, your approximate birth date is very close to the birthday of this really cool dude I know


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

uhtred said:


> You don't see it as a future where they are equal?


I'm optimistic enough to see a future of equality.

I'm also realistic enough to see in that future, a vocal minority in each constantly jockeying for position, trying to gain advantage, playing the victim and trying to convince everyone they are oppressed, etc. 

We're seeing it right now with some of the various mens movement stuff. 

Relating this to what seems to be part of the OPs theme, the emasculation of men, it would appear some men are not handling the shift well and rather than accept equality, or "man up" and take charge, they would rather whine about all the "unfairness" and unreasonable expectations they face. It seems that some "men" could only be "men" when societal norms granted them a certain status. When they have to earn their respect much the way women were forced to for most of the totality of human history, they find it easier to claim oppression and roll over.

Some see it as the end--I see it as a challenge. You expect more of me? Well just call me FedEx, cuz' I'll deliver!


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

MrsAldi said:


> Yes thank you for asking, all is well.



For you maybe. :frown2:

You left SCM floating. He asked for a Leprechaun.
He knows you 'secretly' communicate with them. Ask for their help when your DH gets out of line.

You offered up a fat, lazy...OK, cute cat! Word has it that your cat suffers from ED. Is that true?

Shame!

Now, having no choice, SCM has conspired with a former banned TAMMER. A Devils Advocate. Sits at the right hand of Beelzebub, he does. 
His office? Down the hall from the Red Queens Winter HQ's.

OMG! I just realized. King David turned a Ulysses incarnation [McBride] into Red Dog. In his anger, he forgot to make him impotent.
He likely did not forget when it came to your cat. He turned some other lesser god into a cat.

I will be talking to your cat, shortly. If he goes missing, do not worry. He is with me....SCM


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> I'm optimistic enough to see a future of equality.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Exactly! When we are faced with a challenge we either "man up" or go down kicking screaming and whining or give up. Imo women did a great job "manning up" to the new society roles (jobs, education) and some men are having a hard time "manning up" to their new society roles and it appears they have regressed.... they are more into playing games and watching porn then teenagers ever used to be.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

katiecrna said:


> Imo women did a great job "manning up" to the new society roles (jobs, education) and some men are having a hard time "manning up" to their new society roles and it appears they have regressed.... they are more into playing games and watching porn then teenagers ever used to be.


So all women did a great job "manning up" but some men not so much lol :slap:

Guess i must've been mistaken when I was out at a client dinner and I saw all these women wearing tight mini skirts, looking for the wealthy guy to support their lifestyle ... but yeah, ALL women have just knocked it out of the park


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

katiecrna said:


> Exactly! When we are faced with a challenge we either "man up" or go down kicking screaming and whining or give up. Imo women did a great job "manning up" to the new society roles (jobs, education) and some men are having a hard time "manning up" to their new society roles and it appears they have regressed.... they are more into playing games and watching porn then teenagers ever used to be.


Bottom line, we are in agreement overall. However, I see the women as "manning up" more in the past than in the present. The opportunity for jobs and education is something women had to fight for throughout history. That was tough and never should have been as tough as it was most of the time. However, now that the battle is (mostly) won, the hard part is over. Now women get to enjoy the spoils of their victory. There is still some issue, however, which I will never be able to wrap my head around. That is that some still expect women to be primary or sole housekeepers when they are equal breadwinners. Does not compute.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

EllisRedding said:


> So all women did a great job "manning up" but some men not so much lol :slap:
> 
> 
> 
> Guess i must've been mistaken when I was out at a client dinner and I saw all these women wearing tight mini skirts, looking for the wealthy guy to support their lifestyle ... but yeah, ALL women have just knocked it out of the park




I'm not saying all men and women. I'm saying statistically speaking... the number of educated women in 1945 and now has dramatically went up. Same thing with women working. Women before depended on a man to live, today women can live great lives by themselves if they choose. Look at women today and look at them in 1945 and don't act like they didn't man up because they did. Not all of course.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

katiecrna said:


> I'm not saying all men and women. I'm saying statistically speaking... the number of educated women in 1945 and now has dramatically went up. Same thing with women working. Women before depended on a man to live, today women can live great lives by themselves if they choose. Look at women today and look at them in 1945 and don't act like they didn't man up because they did. Not all of course.


Wait, I thought you said it is becoming increasingly hard to be a woman these days??? Looking at the above, I would say your original statement is way off (I already pointed this out those  )...

I am in no way disputing how far women have come in society. IMO, women and men are equal, but different. My comments have more to do with you cherry picking some examples of men and applying it to all men, all because it fits whatever viewpoint you seem to have now


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> Bottom line, we are in agreement overall. However, I see the women as "manning up" more in the past than in the present. The opportunity for jobs and education is something women had to fight for throughout history. That was tough and never should have been as tough as it was most of the time. However, now that the battle is (mostly) won, the hard part is over.  Now women get to enjoy the spoils of their victory. There is still some issue, however, which I will never be able to wrap my head around. That is that some still expect women to be primary or sole housekeepers when they are equal breadwinners. Does not compute.




Thank you for acknowledging this. And this is why I said earlier that it's getting harder to be a women. And on top of that I personally feel like because men aren't rising up and evolving, and because they aren't comfortable in their role in 2017, they have become more sensitive, whining more, and this makes women feel like they can't be "too strong" because they have to protect their mans ego. Like it's our job to work, be the housekeeper While softening ourself up, and toning it down because we still need to make our men feel like a man. 

And not to mention that T levels have been dropping in men every decade.... the future for men doesn't look good. They need to evolve more. 

This is an exaggeration but... the only thing I need from a man that I can't get is **** and their muscles. Many of them aren't emotionally available, my friends do a better job usually at comforting me. And it's like the one thing I love and need from a man is on the decline. What the heck!


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

EllisRedding said:


> Wait, I thought you said it is becoming increasingly hard to be a woman these days??? Looking at the above, I would say your original statement is way off (I already pointed this out those  )...
> 
> I am in no way disputing how far women have come in society. IMO, women and men are equal, but different. My comments have more to do with you cherry picking some examples of men and applying it to all men, all because it fits whatever viewpoint you seem to have now




No it is way harder to be a women now. We're expected to do everything we have always done in the past, plus work. While men no longer are the sole bread winner, they get the benefit of their wife's income. Maybe they have to do more chores here and there. But men today also do way less physical things then they use to, and you can research that. Men today don't know how to change a tire, change their oil. Both my brothers can't fix a toilet, they don't own tools. My dads generation knew all this stuff and they were handy. Now that men have the added income they are paying people to do the things that they use to have to do.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

katiecrna said:


> No it is way harder to be a women now. We're expected to do everything we have always done in the past, plus work. While men no longer are the sole bread winner, they get the benefit of their wife's income. Maybe they have to do more chores here and there. But men today also do way less physical things then they use to, and you can research that. Men today don't know how to change a tire, change their oil. Both my brothers can't fix a toilet, they don't own tools. My dads generation knew all this stuff and they were handy. Now that men have the added income they are paying people to do the things that they use to have to do.


But that is the beautiful thing that makes it far easier today than for women in the past...women now have the means, and the ability to actually walk away from the crap you are describing as all men. Women have the power of choice now. And pretty much any woman who is having to be what you are describing is being that by choice. Nobody is forcing her, so perhaps it could be that women today just don't like the fact that they are having to make the difficult choice to walk away from what they feel is a crap situation.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

The modern man is not handy. They are getting prettier, dressing nicer and using more hair products. Their hands are softer, their egos fragile. They are spoiled. They have unlimited access to porn, they don't think about providing for a family like my fathers generation once did. They don't fix things anymore, they pay people to do it. 

My fathers generation took the responsibility of being a husband/father more serious. They knew that the buck stops with them so they set aside money, and saved for retirement, got life insurance because they want to make sure their family is always taken care of. Today, the modern man spends more than they save. The thought of being finically responsible for their family isn't a thought on their brain. But what is on their brain is porn, and the new iPhone and Xbox games that they have to have.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

samyeagar said:


> But that is the beautiful thing that makes it far easier today than for women in the past...women now have the means, and the ability to actually walk away from the crap you are describing as all men. Women have the power of choice now. And pretty much any woman who is having to be what you are describing is being that by choice. Nobody is forcing her, so perhaps it could be that women today just don't like the fact that they are having to make the difficult choice to walk away from what they feel is a crap situation.




Yes. Thank God we can walk away. But that doesn't make things easier.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

katiecrna said:


> No it is way harder to be a women now. We're expected to do everything we have always done in the past, plus work. While men no longer are the sole bread winner, they get the benefit of their wife's income. Maybe they have to do more chores here and there. But men today also do way less physical things then they use to, and you can research that. Men today don't know how to change a tire, change their oil. Both my brothers can't fix a toilet, they don't own tools. My dads generation knew all this stuff and they were handy. Now that men have the added income they are paying people to do the things that they use to have to do.


Lol, read your entire post. You once again generalize and it is the same theme. Women are awesome and men suck.

It is way harder to be a woman now versus when, please clarify what timeframe you are comparing to???

I am in my 30s. I can change a tire. I can and do in fact do chores around the house. I don't expect my W to do everything plus. I know quite a few other guys just like this. 

Honestly, it sounds like you just have a combination of your negativity towards men (to some extent I understand based on your situation) along with some stories you have read online that you take as word.

I am not discounting that there is a younger generation of men who don't have some of the basic skills (change a tire, jumpstart a car, etc...). Funny thing though, this is in part due to technology, where you can just hop onto Youtube and find a video on how to do in a few minutes, so it isn't quite as critical as in the past where you didn't have such resources.

Also, is changing car oil now somehow a barometer of how manly you are lol??? Maybe, just maybe, paying just $30 to have your oil changed has more to do with that .... 

Yes, there are guys that need to adapt to the new roles they are faced with. Funny enough, this same things applies to some women, as I have read several stories (heck, I think a while back this was actually a thread here) about women who became breadwinners and hated it (IIRC one woman ended up actually looking down on her H because of this), wanted to go back to the other way around. 

As with anything else, there will be growing pains as things/roles change. Most people will adapt, some won't (at least without kicking and screaming first). This applies to men and women.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

EllisRedding said:


> Lol, read your entire post. You once again generalize and it is the same theme. Women are awesome and men suck.
> 
> It is way harder to be a woman now versus when, please clarify what timeframe you are comparing to???
> 
> ...


As a man, there is a certain level of security for me in that I am more than capable of being self sufficient in running and maintaining a household from managing money, laundry, cleaning, cooking, dishes, scheduling, and all that, along with building things, fixing things. Hell, I'm married, and I do virtually all of the cooking, most of the laundry, cleaning, fixing, building, earning. I find it very liberating in a way that I don't actually depend on my wife for anything.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

EllisRedding said:


> Lol, read your entire post. You once again generalize and it is the same theme. Women are awesome and men suck.
> 
> It is way harder to be a woman now versus when, please clarify what timeframe you are comparing to???
> 
> ...




It's harder to be a women today. 
I can compare my moms life to mine for an example. 

Yes I am very negative about men today. When I look around, I am not impressed. Yes maybe I'm tough, maybe my expectation for men is too high. I personally don't think so. I think men can be way better than what I see in my generation and it's getting worse in younger generations. 

This is obviously judgmental and whatever but I always thought men of older generations were so useful! They were a strong disciplinary, the kids respected them and were afraid of them. A wife would be reassured in a blackout or a emergency that her husband would know what to do. Today in my generation men seem useless. Their kids don't respect them Bc they want to be their friends not their father. Men don't know how to fix anything anymore so it seems women have to either nag them to death to do it or do it themselves. When something in my house breaks I call my dad and he tells me what to do. My stbxh wouldn't have a clue so I wouldn't even bother.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

samyeagar said:


> As a man, there is a certain level of security for me in that I am more than capable of being self sufficient in running and maintaining a household from managing money, laundry, cleaning, cooking, dishes, scheduling, and all that, along with building things, fixing things. Hell, I'm married, and I do virtually all of the cooking, most of the laundry, cleaning, fixing, building, earning. * I find it very liberating in a way that I don't actually depend on my wife for anything*.


The irony of the bolded, to an extent I think it bothers my W that I don't actually depend on her for anything (in terms of maintaining myself). I think it would give her a little more sense of security if I did rely on her more (not that she has any reason to worry about me going anywhere).


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

samyeagar said:


> As a man, there is a certain level of security for me in that I am more than capable of being self sufficient in running and maintaining a household from managing money, laundry, cleaning, cooking, dishes, scheduling, and all that, along with building things, fixing things. Hell, I'm married, and I do virtually all of the cooking, most of the laundry, cleaning, fixing, building, earning. I find it very liberating in a way that I don't actually depend on my wife for anything.




Yes! I agree 100%. But it seems younger men, for example have no drive to learn how to fix anything around the house. My brother relies on his wife for everything. And my dad always talks to me about it, how my brother isn't stepping up and taking initiative and learning these things. My dad said... when I was married and got a house, I had to teach myself how to fix it. And he said the last thing he wanted was his new bride to fix a toilet, he always felt like it was his responsibility so he made it a point to learn. And he says that my brother has no drive or care in the world to learn how to do these things. So who has to manage it? His wife.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

katiecrna said:


> Men don't know how to fix anything anymore so it seems women have to either nag them to death to do it or do it themselves. When something in my house breaks I call my dad and he tells me what to do. My stbxh wouldn't have a clue so I wouldn't even bother.


This isn't only attributable to a reduction in "manliness." We have become more specialized over time. I can't fix a lot of what I could 30 years ago myself--due to lack of doing it--which was due to having a demanding career that took much of my time and energy. After years of not doing, my skills deteriorated, as did the fact that I lack the tools required and tools are expensive. It's much more efficient ... and economical.. for me to pay someone else to do some things ... and they still get done! And by a pro, which is probably better anyway. 

Your stbxh is a doc right? A HUGE time commitment, which was part of your problem, yes? So yes, if you are expecting to be married to a doctor who can also change the alternator in your car, build a new deck on the house, and replumb the ice maker in your fridge, then you are expecting too much.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

katiecrna said:


> It's harder to be a women today.
> I can compare my moms life to mine for an example.


I can compare my mom's life to my sister's. My Mom definitely had it harder. I know quite a few older women (including family members) who busted their tail, overcame a lot of obstacles, so their children (daughters included) could have a better life (and they do have a better life). Making a blanket statement that women today have it harder, yeah, I don't know about that...


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> This isn't only attributable to a reduction in "manliness." We have become more specialized over time. I can't fix a lot of what I could 30 years ago myself--due to lack of doing it--which was due to having a demanding career that took much of my time and energy. After years of not doing, my skills deteriorated, as did the fact that I lack the tools required and tools are expensive. It's much more efficient ... and economical.. for me to pay someone else to do some things ... and they still get done! And by a pro, which is probably better anyway.
> 
> 
> 
> Your stbxh is a doc right? A HUGE time commitment, which was part of your problem, yes? So yes, if you are expecting to be married to a doctor who can also change the alternator in your car, build a new deck on the house, and replumb the ice maker in your fridge, then you are expecting too much.




I was expecting him to know how to turn off a fire alarm. I was expecting him to know how to change a tire.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

EllisRedding said:


> The irony of the bolded, to an extent I think it bothers my W that I don't actually depend on her for anything (in terms of maintaining myself). I think it would give her a little more sense of security if I did rely on her more (not that she has any reason to worry about me going anywhere).


Oh, my wife has actually stated as much. That my ability to be self sufficient does cause her a certain bit of insecurity. That I could move on without her, and be perfectly fine.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

For part of it:

Yes, I pay people to fix things for me. I'd rather do my job, which I'm good and and which pays very well, and then use some of that money to pay another expert to fix things for me. This is one of the great advantages of civilization - specialization means that rather than being mediocre at everything I can choose the things I want to excel at which I enjoy. 

There are far more things I want to do with life than I have time to do - so why not use money to free up my time? I can spend time changing the oil in my car, or flying my airplane. Why should I choose the former?

Otherwise:

I can assure you that I'm not "pretty". I wish that was because I was ruggedly handsome, but I'm not that either, I'm just OK. But I don't use hair products other than shampoo

I've made money and saved a reasonable amount, balanced against enjoying life. I don't need to be completely "responsible" for my family because my wife is a capable intelligent woman, with her own professional career. For some parts of our lives she's earned more than me, other times I've earned more. We *share* responsibility as equals. 


I know you are frustrated, but please don't make the mistake that the bad men that you have met represent all men. 

Maybe a place to start is to think about where you are meeting men, and what your criteria are for first dating them? 






katiecrna said:


> The modern man is not handy. They are getting prettier, dressing nicer and using more hair products. Their hands are softer, their egos fragile. They are spoiled. They have unlimited access to porn, they don't think about providing for a family like my fathers generation once did. They don't fix things anymore, they pay people to do it.
> 
> My fathers generation took the responsibility of being a husband/father more serious. They knew that the buck stops with them so they set aside money, and saved for retirement, got life insurance because they want to make sure their family is always taken care of. Today, the modern man spends more than they save. The thought of being finically responsible for their family isn't a thought on their brain. But what is on their brain is porn, and the new iPhone and Xbox games that they have to have.


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## Handy (Jul 23, 2017)

*Katiecrna
But men today also do way less physical things then they use to, and you can research that. Men today don't know how to change a tire, change their oil. Both my brothers can't fix a toilet, they don't own tools. My dads generation knew all this stuff and they were handy. *

Hay, I must be like your dad. I have "A LOT" of tools and I fix things. I even cook basic meals. gourmet takes too long. My wife wants me to pay someone to repair things or buy new things. She calls me cheap when I repair some things. Of course she wants things "now" and sometimes it takes time to figure out how to fix things or time to obtain the parts.

BTW ravishing her might work "one time" and after that it would be abuse, so you see why some guys don't go there. It becomes another issue that leads to resentments and or a sexless marriage.


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

This thread is funny to me. It has nothing to do with ED. So what if men today can't fix things, I can't. I also have zero interest in it. Would much rather pay someone and spend the time with the kids as opposed to working on projects or cutting grass on a summer Saturday. Men have changed because the world has changed. For the most part we aren't all farmers anymore, also the industrial revolution is over, we are mostly white collar. What the hell does fixing things have to do with being a real man or "alpha". Men have adjusted, today an Alpha male is a C-Level exec, or a leader in whatever it is he does, military, politics, etc. etc. Its about self confidence and attitude, it has zero to do with being able to fix a toilet. Yuck, I'd rather call a plumber.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

There never was a time when men, in general, of older generations did everything. Or even anything. Some did and some did not. My ex-husband was one who did not. I learned to do it myself or hire someone to do it for me -- just as my mother did before me.


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## musicftw07 (Jun 23, 2016)

katiecrna said:


> The modern man is not handy. They are getting prettier, dressing nicer and using more hair products. Their hands are softer, their egos fragile. They are spoiled. They have unlimited access to porn, they don't think about providing for a family like my fathers generation once did. They don't fix things anymore, they pay people to do it.
> 
> My fathers generation took the responsibility of being a husband/father more serious. They knew that the buck stops with them so they set aside money, and saved for retirement, got life insurance because they want to make sure their family is always taken care of. Today, the modern man spends more than they save. The thought of being finically responsible for their family isn't a thought on their brain. But what is on their brain is porn, and the new iPhone and Xbox games that they have to have.


Define "younger men".

I'm 37. I can change a tire no problem. Hell, I was the one who took my gf's tire off her car and took it to Les Schwab when it had a screw in it.

Do I know how to change oil? Nope. Not one clue. Do I wish to learn? Not in the slightest. I make plenty of money to pay professionals to do that for me. Plus, that way I have maintenance records in the event I sell the vehicle.

I find it very amusing how women can reject their traditional gender roles while simultaneously holding men to theirs.

I reject the notion that I'm solely responsible for every "handy" chore, just as women have rejected that they're solely responsible for every "domestic" chore. 

I also like to have a nice smartphone, I play video games, and I enjoy pornography. I also own my house, make $70k/year, my credit is in the upper 700s, I have savings and retirement, and just bought a brand new 2017 Honda Civic.

So in which bucket do I get lumped? The "real man", or the clueless younger man? Based on your criteria of each, I exhibit traits of both.

I'm gonna make some popcorn.


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

katiecrna said:


> And as the biased feminist I am I just wanted to add that it seems that it's getting increasingly hard to be a women these days.


Wait. So, men having erectile dysfunction is making it hard to be a *woman*?

Try saying that women with menopause make it hard to be a man and see what sort of hornet's nest that stirs up.


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

musicftw07 said:


> *I find it very amusing how women can reject their traditional gender roles while simultaneously holding men to theirs.*


Quite.

Which has always driven my thinking that many women may not be as happy with changing gender roles as they are claimed to be. 

It's always portrayed that changing gender roles are an unalloyed good and only men are having trouble adapting.

I think women are having trouble adapting as well.


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## musicftw07 (Jun 23, 2016)

Buddy400 said:


> musicftw07 said:
> 
> 
> > *I find it very amusing how women can reject their traditional gender roles while simultaneously holding men to theirs.*
> ...


Some women are absolutely having difficulty adapting, just as some men are.

Where I think the bulk of the difficulty women are having lies is when men change their gender roles. They weren't expecting that. I don't depend on anyone else to care for me or my daughter, and I have the same expectation of any woman with whom I choose to partner. I'm fiercely independent, and anything I can't do I have the funds available to outsource to a professional.

I can cook, clean, do dishes, do laundry, pay bills, parent my daughter, all of it. Can I install new tiles in my bathroom? No. Do I have the money to pay a professional to install them for me? Yep. (I'll get right in with a hammer and crowbar for demo, though. I can break **** easy enough!)

So if the fact that I like to play video games and jack off to porn in my spare time (and obviously when my gf is at her house) and my inability to install tiles makes me less of a man... Okay. I'm cool with that. At the end of the day, I'm owning my **** and living my life how I want. And I'm quite happy doing it.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

musicftw07 said:


> Do I know how to change oil? Nope. Not one clue. Do I wish to learn? Not in the slightest. I make plenty of money to pay professionals to do that for me. Plus, that way I have maintenance records in the event I sell the vehicle.


I have seen the whole oil change thing mentioned several times as it being some sort of barometer for manliness (or lack thereof). I honestly don't get this. I don't know how to change oil. I have no desire to learn, and honestly why would I. There is a Jiffy Lube or other pretty much every 5 miles away, cheap, and can get it done quick. Many other things i rather do with my spare time (whether it be on myself or spending time with my W/kids).



Buddy400 said:


> Wait. So, men having erectile dysfunction is making it hard to be a *woman*?
> 
> Try saying that women with menopause make it hard to be a man and see what sort of hornet's nest that stirs up.


I figured the whole "hard to be a woman" post was just a play on words (i.e. mentioning how "hard" things are in an ED thread) lol.

I think you recall that thread from a while back about the woman who became a breadwinner, hated it, resented her H and viewed him as less of a man.

IDK, some of the posts here sound a bit entitled / victim based (I guess you could argue that is the generalization typically thrown at millennials these days).


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## troubledinma (May 30, 2016)

EllisRedding said:


> So really the theme of this thread ... Women are awesome and men suck :scratchhead::scratchhead::scratchhead:
> 
> Women definitely have it so much harder now, should just go back to the good old days where they had limited career opportunities and were expected to be not much more then a housewife who waited on their H ... yup much harder now ... :slap:
> 
> The truth, both men AND women have a lot of challenges between finding/maintaining a relationship, a career, being a parent, finding time for themselves, etc... If you want to think that one gender universally has it SO hard, the others suck, etc... that is the type of attitude that will leave someone alone and bitter.


I think dual bread winner houses don't have much time available, especially with kids around. Something has to give, tye relationship is sacrificed. 

"Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterward."


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## musicftw07 (Jun 23, 2016)

EllisRedding said:


> musicftw07 said:
> 
> 
> > Do I know how to change oil? Nope. Not one clue. Do I wish to learn? Not in the slightest. I make plenty of money to pay professionals to do that for me. Plus, that way I have maintenance records in the event I sell the vehicle.
> ...


That would be akin to men saying that the barometer of femininity is knowing how to cook a three course meal from scratch. Out of the ~13 women I've slept with, only three could do that.

Coincidentally enough, they were also the only women who could deep throat.

I think I'm on to something here...


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Do you know how to do those things? 

Its find if you want an asymmetric relationship where the man does manly stuff and the woman fills a traditionally female role, but you need to find a man who shares that vision for a relationship. They exist, but it not something most men and women want these days. 



katiecrna said:


> I was expecting him to know how to turn off a fire alarm. I was expecting him to know how to change a tire.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

In addition to cooking, traditionally women knew how to sew to make clothes, did needle work, cleaned the house and of course were solely responsible for raising children. (what sexual acts they were skilled at were generally not discussed, but since in that era it was OK for men to have mistresses if they could afford them, I don't think it was very relevant).

A completely traditional relationship is fine if both agree.








musicftw07 said:


> That would be akin to men saying that the barometer of femininity is knowing how to cook a three course meal from scratch. Out of the ~13 women I've slept with, only three could do that.
> 
> Coincidentally enough, they were also the only women who could deep throat.
> 
> I think I'm on to something here...


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*ED can be an equal opportunity employer, and does not discriminate against any male, young or old!

But in most cases, there is help to be had!*


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## musicftw07 (Jun 23, 2016)

uhtred said:


> In addition to cooking, traditionally women knew how to sew to make clothes, did needle work, cleaned the house and of course were solely responsible for raising children. (what sexual acts they were skilled at were generally not discussed, but since in that era it was OK for men to have mistresses if they could afford them, I don't think it was very relevant).
> 
> A completely traditional relationship is fine if both agree.
> 
> ...


I don't actually want a wholly traditional relationship. What I'm poking fun at is the expectation that men continue to fulfill their traditional roles while women simultaneously shed theirs.

And if men will be judged by how effectively they fulfill those traditional roles, well, two can easily play that game.

I despise double standards and call them out whenever I see them.


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## CooperSan (Oct 31, 2019)

I agree with you, in my relationship my girlfriend wants more sex than I.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

2.5 year old zombie thread.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

katiecrna said:


> And as the biased feminist I am I just wanted to add that it seems that it's getting increasingly hard to be a women these days.


This hard that you feel, is it hard to get a straight answer on men and their enemy, that Mr. Ed, or hard for you to stand tall behind your beliefs, with this need to show your feminine and soft side. :frown2:

If such as this...exist with you. :|

If you are this feminist, I hardly see you taking this half stance.
No..


Just Sayin'


The Typist-


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Zombie thread. Closing

Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk


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