# I'm still so lost



## ZoeCat (Nov 20, 2009)

Okay, am I just blind: I don't remember this section being here a few months ago??? Oh well, I'm glad I found it.

It's been 2 months since our divorce was finalized. I tried to look at it as a new beginning. I have some good days, but other days, I am so lost. I find myself working long days just so I don't have to go home to my empty house. I have never been a social person; never had a lot of friends but it never really bothered me in the past. Now that he's gone, I feel how empty my life is. I put all of my energy into one person and I'm so lost now. I accept any invitation that I get from co-workers and I've even been brave and invited myself along on several outings but I just feel like something is missing. Its so hard because I don't have anyone to talk to when I'm feeling down or need that little confidence boost. I keep feeling that after him being gone for 7 months, I should be able to make positive changes in my life and let go of the past... Maybe this post will help me to take a deep breath and start a new life.


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## sirch (Jan 8, 2009)

It's only been two months....you are going to have them days! 
Keep on staying active, it helps alot. Are you on facebook? I know that helped me get through some of the lonely evenings, kinda takes your mind off of things while passing time.


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## ZoeCat (Nov 20, 2009)

Facebook was not a good idea. I was never big on the facebook thing - not having any friends makes it not much fun. But I kept going to his page and even though I didn't have access, it wasn't the best thing for me.

One day at a time... That's what I keep telling myself.


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## skinman (Nov 5, 2008)

ZoeCat said:


> One day at a time... That's what I keep telling myself.


Zoecat...

This statement is so very true.. take it one day at a time and fake it till you make is another good one.. I had some of the same issues that you have mentioned not being very social or having many friends. Putting to much into significant other.. But you can change all of that even if its a slow progress.. Today or the next time you go to the grocery store, shopping or wherever you go to get out of the house.. Say hello to 3 total strangers.. Strike up a conversation while standing in the produce isle.. ask them how they prepare their potatoes for example.. something small to start with and eventually it will come easy for you to talk with people... I know its tough and you feel so lost but it will get better  That I can promise you.

I was like you lost, not having much hope for a better future but I was so wrong.. I set goals.. joined a few clubs to get me out of the house, I volunteered.. Helping someone less fortunate than yourself can make a world of difference in your attitude and lifting your spirits..... :smthumbup:

I wish you well Zoecat.. if your ever need an ear just send me a PM.. your not alone in this 

Skin...........


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## thuraya (Jun 27, 2010)

salam 


first i want to say that iam an arab and i dont have good englsih so sorry 
but i want to share 
i got divrsed (5)years
i had this problem and i still have but not all my days i feel boring 
u know u give sultion of your problem 
u need somethig to focus in 
u need to have some hoppy to do 
just dont stay alone its not good u will just remmber alot of things 



i wish u good life and good start 
just remmber u r not alone u will feel sometime that this happen to u to make u strong

thnk u


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## Anooniemouse (May 5, 2010)

Skin, that made me smile. It just reminded me of being juvenile, and tossing oranges around to get the attention of someone at the supermarket. Not something you are generally free to do when involved. 

Part of why you are having problems making this adjustment is that you spent a great deal of your time, and energy trying to make someone else happy, tending to things that were important for them, and didn't think about what else that time could be used for very often. Now you are suddenly faced with a lot of time, and an empty house. If you put even 1/5 of that energy into the things you enjoy, the free time you have now would evaporate very quickly with new interests, and tasks.

There are a whole world of people, and experiences out there. Some of them (too many IMHO!) are crazy, and you'll run into a few, but you have a weight off of your shoulders to. You are free to do the things you want to do as well.


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## ZoeCat (Nov 20, 2009)

Thank you all for your words of encouragement.

Its a new month... I'm going to make it a month of new adventures.


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