# Dumb question about groping



## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Been married for 21 years and all my efforts to be a better wife have paid off. We've had an awakening of sorts and we're closer than we've ever been both emotionally and physically.

He's never been a groper but now he is. Although I don't fully understand groping I'm totally cool with it. 

My dumb question is since I don't get the point of constant groping what response is expected? 

Today for example I woke with a migraine headache, its a hectic school morning and my lovely husband is grabbing at me as I walk by before he leaves for work. Puts a smile on my face yes but I'm not exactly feeling very sexy if you kwim?

In situations like that what am I supposed to do back if anything?


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Grab his butt and say something like "nice [email protected]@ baby but i have such a headache now. Maybe we can connect tonight"


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## IndyTMI (Oct 26, 2012)

My wife has the same issue...how to respond to groping when she isn't really feeling it.

Groping is a form of foreplay and doesn't always require a response back. For me, it is a thing of being able to touch something I don't get to fully enjoy at the moment, but to be able to touch it for two reasons...I'm teasing myself by getting a little excited, knowing the full package is accessible later in the evening. I am also sending a message to her...letting her know I want her, that I desire her, that I want to enjoy her.

Certain times, she isn't receptive to this at all, but since she understands it is part of the love language I speak (physical touch), she is doing a better job of being able to receive my messages as they are intended.


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## WadeWilson (Jul 4, 2010)

A smile of genuine appreciation is nice... But a return grope is great...


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Groping defined in my situation: random gentle stroking/touching of my boobs and ass. I don't think it's overtly sexual either - it is absolutely more of an "I love you, find you hot, need a quick fix" kinda thing.

I am definately appreciative. I've missed my husband and am grateful to have him back after all those years of him being checked out of the marriage.


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

Mavash. said:


> Groping defined in my situation: random gentle stroking/touching of my boobs and ass. I don't think it's overtly sexual either - it is absolutely more of an "I love you, find you hot, need a quick fix" kinda thing.
> 
> I am definately appreciative. I've missed my husband and am grateful to have him back after all those years of him being checked out of the marriage.


First off, I'm happy for you Mavash. Good for you to have earned through your hardwork this type of marriage. Way to go!

As for 'what to do', you did it. As a husband (to be), if I give my fiancee a nice caress on her behind, or touch her breast, or anything that is considered 'groping', I don't expect her to drop what she's doing and jump on me and grope me back. All I expect is a smile (like you did) and on occassion, a return grope. Nothing more.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

My hubby doesn't grope just because he wants sex right then and there. I think he's like yours - just a kind of "I love you and your sexy bod" thing. Depending what I am doing I will either just smile and let him do it for a couple seconds then move on, or give him a quick kiss, or throw my arms around his neck and kiss him hard, or start rubbing up against him breathily, or suggest we both drop what we're doing and have at er.

I love that he does this and I don't understand women who complain about being groped.


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## IsGirl3 (Nov 13, 2012)

I agree with all above here. My husband is a groper and I stop for a few seconds, acknowledge it, then continue what I'm doing. I don't think he expects any more since it seems to happen a lot in the kitchen, where the kids are right next door.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

I was gropey in both my long term relationships, and both of them didn't like or appreciate it so I refrained a lot, however I still just had this impulse to grab a bum, or cop a feel of breast - it's something that you can have in a relationship that you can't really have when you are single (or else you face criminal charges).

If I ever have another long term relationship it will be with someone who appreciate the groping (in private mostly) and realizes it's not my form of foreplay or saying that I want to initiate sex, it is just a novelty that makes me feel... connected?  manly? in the moment? not sure, just an impulse but one that I don't want or need to feel ashamed for.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Hope1964 said:


> I love that he does this and I don't understand women who complain about being groped.


I think the lack of understanding might stem from the various definitions of "groping" that abound. 

My husband was extremely prone to slapping me on the behind rather harder than was truly pleasant, grabbind my crotch rather firmly, sticking his hands into my bra to tweak my nipples, and licking my chest or neck. He tended to do these things frequently, seemingly almost without thought, no matter where we were at the time or who was watching. And he didn't really want to touch me in other, non-sexual, less agressive, ways. 

So, a man who would routinely shake off my hand if I tried to hold hands with him while walking in public, once came up to me at a family function, leaned down and licked my chest with the full flat of his tounge for several seconds, in full view of several relatives. The experience did not feel loving, warm, or anything but publicly disrespectful and overtly sexual in an inappropriate way. I felt rather like an object - or like a tire that the alpha dog had just peed on to mark his territory.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Rowan said:


> I think the lack of understanding might stem from the various definitions of "groping" that abound.


Agree with your whole post that's why I clarified what I meant by groping. My husband is being very sweet, very gentle and very respectful. I have NO problems with his type of touching. I've been very clear to him that he's free to touch me like that as often as he wants to. I'm here for him to enjoy. No complaints from me. 

What your husband did was awful!!!


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

Rowan said:


> I think the lack of understanding might stem from the various definitions of "groping" that abound.
> 
> My husband was extremely prone to slapping me on the behind rather harder than was truly pleasant, grabbind my crotch rather firmly, sticking his hands into my bra to tweak my nipples, and licking my chest or neck. He tended to do these things frequently, seemingly almost without thought, no matter where we were at the time or who was watching. And he didn't really want to touch me in other, non-sexual, less agressive, ways.
> 
> So, a man who would routinely shake off my hand if I tried to hold hands with him while walking in public, once came up to me at a family function, leaned down and licked my chest with the full flat of his tounge for several seconds, in full view of several relatives. The experience did not feel loving, warm, or anything but publicly disrespectful and overtly sexual in an inappropriate way. I felt rather like an object - or like a tire that the alpha dog had just peed on to mark his territory.


And he's still your husband? I hope he's changed... or you've ripped his tongue out.


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## jman (Jun 20, 2012)

I always ask my wife if she would prefer that I stop groping and the answer is always a resounding "no!". Guess its a small price to pay to know that your husband still desires you.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Rowan said:


> I think the lack of understanding might stem from the various definitions of "groping" that abound.
> 
> My husband was extremely prone to slapping me on the behind rather harder than was truly pleasant, grabbind my crotch rather firmly, sticking his hands into my bra to tweak my nipples, and licking my chest or neck. He tended to do these things frequently, seemingly almost without thought, no matter where we were at the time or who was watching. And he didn't really want to touch me in other, non-sexual, less agressive, ways.
> 
> So, a man who would routinely shake off my hand if I tried to hold hands with him while walking in public, once came up to me at a family function, leaned down and licked my chest with the full flat of his tounge for several seconds, in full view of several relatives. The experience did not feel loving, warm, or anything but publicly disrespectful and overtly sexual in an inappropriate way. I felt rather like an object - or like a tire that the alpha dog had just peed on to mark his territory.


That isn't groping. That's abuse.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Rowan said:


> I think the lack of understanding might stem from the various definitions of "groping" that abound.
> 
> My husband was extremely prone to slapping me on the behind rather harder than was truly pleasant, grabbind my crotch rather firmly, sticking his hands into my bra to tweak my nipples, and licking my chest or neck. He tended to do these things frequently, seemingly almost without thought, no matter where we were at the time or who was watching. And he didn't really want to touch me in other, non-sexual, less agressive, ways.
> 
> So, a man who would routinely shake off my hand if I tried to hold hands with him while walking in public, once came up to me at a family function, leaned down and licked my chest with the full flat of his tounge for several seconds, in full view of several relatives. The experience did not feel loving, warm, or anything but publicly disrespectful and overtly sexual in an inappropriate way. *I felt rather like an object - or like a tire that the alpha dog had just peed on to mark his territory.*


Maybe to a guy, like me even, this is what it is - groping is "sexual" but it's not really about giving pleasure, it certainly is objectifying a woman's body, and in a way "marking his territory". However a good man, I feel, would balance the respect for his W as his partner and as a person... that objectification doesn't have to be necessarily evil, but if he won't show respect for you in other ways, or participate in other displays of affection no wonder it would feel awful and even humiliating.


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

I think for most of us groping is way to acknowledge we find you attractive. It's not necessarily meant to lead to anything but can be a way of putting out a feeler to let you know we're interested. 

For me a smile and brushing away of the hand would be seen as, "not now". A slap and and dirty look would be perceived as rejection.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Mavash. said:


> Today for example I woke with a migraine headache, its a hectic school morning and my lovely husband is grabbing at me as I walk by before he leaves for work. Puts a smile on my face yes but I'm not exactly feeling very sexy if you kwim?
> 
> In situations like that what am I supposed to do back if anything?


First off I want to say , my husband is overwhelmingly the affectionate Nice Guy type...he has NEVER groped me in a way I deem "disrespectful" or I felt objectified.... I can not relate to that experience at all. And he wasn't a GROPER in our past at all... I wish he did do some of that - might have been fun! 

...I know because of the way he IS, he likely looked upon GROPING as too aggressive... I know he is utterly repulsed by men who abuse women or make them feel "used" by anything sexually forced. 

So my perspective on this may sound a little over the top... but I LOVE when he gropes me [email protected]#$%^ It's been a long time in coming and it's great FUN... I grope him all the time....more than he gropes me.. I told him a few times.. something is wrong with that picture. 

Told him about a month ago...as my husband , when he sees my a$$ walk past, it's his husbandly duty to grab it... He just  ~ We have fun with it. 

When he does do these things, he gets a huge inviting Grin with a sexy low voice saying something like "...and you'll be getting more of that tonight baby". There's always a comeback ~I love the flirting.


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Told him about a month ago...as my husband , when he sees my a$$ walk past, it's his husbandly duty to grab it... He just  ~ We have fun with it.
> 
> When he does do these things, he gets a huge inviting Grin with a sexy low voice saying something like "...and you'll be getting more of that tonight baby". There's always a comeback ~I love the flirting.


If only they could clone you... or have you teach a seminar at least.

Granted, my fiancee does the same pretty much, so I have it good, but I know there are a bunch of men on this forum alone wishing they had a wife with your mindset. Kudos to you! :smthumbup:


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

In addition to a smile or quick kiss, or even a grope back, my wife will sometimes playfully punch me in the arm and call me a pervert, then walk away with a wiggle while throwing me a smile over her shoulder. A bit like when we were younger when it was a game between us. We both knew nothing was going to happen then, but we were getting reved up for later.


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## Waking up to life (Nov 29, 2012)

I hate when my husband gropes me. It's his way of letting me know he's hoping for some action soon. And I get that. But he rarely touches me otherwise in a non-sexual way.

Sometimes I want a hug and affection without my ass getting grabbed. Sometimes he'll come up behind me while I'm cooking dinner and wrap his arms around me...I tense up, because as much as I want to think it's just a hug, no...he starts groping my breasts. If I protest, he gets offended. Sometimes I just want to change my clothes without him turning it into an open invitation to play with my breasts or grab my crotch. 

He's not being like an alpha male jerk when he does this...he's acting more like a kid in a candy store. It's degrading to me.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Been married 13 years and my wife still doesn't like it when I grab her butt. So I put my hands in her back pockets and pull her to me instead. Doesn't mind that and she puts her hands in my pants and grabs my butt. I love it.

She has never grabbed my butt and said see you later sexy. I do that to her and she usually doesn't like it.

Would you rather he grope your butt now and then or some other woman's?

That's his way of saying your sexy to him. Enjoy it.

I grope my wife's butt and its never, I want sex now. Just attention. I don't consider that degrading at all.


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## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

Waking up to life said:


> I hate when my husband gropes me. It's his way of letting me know he's hoping for some action soon. And I get that. But he rarely touches me otherwise in a non-sexual way.
> 
> Sometimes I want a hug and affection without my ass getting grabbed. Sometimes he'll come up behind me while I'm cooking dinner and wrap his arms around me...I tense up, because as much as I want to think it's just a hug, no...he starts groping my breasts. If I protest, he gets offended. Sometimes I just want to change my clothes without him turning it into an open invitation to play with my breasts or grab my crotch.
> 
> He's not being like an alpha male jerk when he does this...he's acting more like a kid in a candy store. It's degrading to me.


I would rather be single than live with a woman who thought this. It scares me that mine might, yet not be willing to tell me.

Want a small bit of truth? He IS a kid in a candy store when he sees you naked, it's not like he's got the same thoughts in his head about you that you do. He probably doesn't notice the pimple on your right ass cheek, the cottage cheese cellulite, or how your boobs sag in comparison to when you were younger. as soon as he touches you, he's thinking about how good you feel, how he feels being with you, and he is living in the anticipation.

As guys, we spend years longing for the person that we are going to meet SOME DAY that is going to accept us, emotionally, physically, and SEXUALLY. to be in that relationships, to have a wife that felt like that would be degrading, IMO. 

I have to wonder, what's the point of being with someone, which implies meeting their sexual needs, if doing so bothers you? If you feel you are not interested because needs of yours are not met, then I think it's part of the marital agreement to talk about what and why.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

humanbecoming said:


> I would rather be single than live with a woman who thought this. It scares me that mine might, yet not be willing to tell me.
> 
> Want a small bit of truth? He IS a kid in a candy store when he sees you naked, it's not like he's got the same thoughts in his head about you that you do. He probably doesn't notice the pimple on your right ass cheek, the cottage cheese cellulite, or how your boobs sag in comparison to when you were younger. as soon as he touches you, he's thinking about how good you feel, how he feels being with you, and he is living in the anticipation.
> 
> ...



AMEN!!:iagree:


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

This is my first post here, I hope I can jump in. A little info: My husband, (groper), and I, (gropee), are both 48, been together for 30 years, married for 22. Three kids, two in high school and one in elementary school.

Groping for us is like a little game. He gropes me and I display mock shock and indignation and then he chuckles like he did something naughty. The other day we were in his man cave and I went to bend over to pick something up and I realized where my behind would be if I did. I knew it would be way to tempting for him. I shifted over and bent over at another angle. He said, "Why did you move?" I said, "You know why." He starts laughing. I guess I deprived him of his chance, haha.

Before typing this post I was trying to remember if his groping has ever bothered me, I know it bothers some women. I don't think it ever has, I mean maybe I've rolled my eyes to myself a few times but deep down I think I really enjoy it, it's like he can't keep his hands off me. One thing I do know is that if my husband ever stops, that's when I have to start worrying.


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## Waking up to life (Nov 29, 2012)

humanbecoming said:


> I would rather be single than live with a woman who thought this. It scares me that mine might, yet not be willing to tell me.
> 
> Want a small bit of truth? He IS a kid in a candy store when he sees you naked, it's not like he's got the same thoughts in his head about you that you do. He probably doesn't notice the pimple on your right ass cheek, the cottage cheese cellulite, or how your boobs sag in comparison to when you were younger. as soon as he touches you, he's thinking about how good you feel, how he feels being with you, and he is living in the anticipation.
> 
> ...


I'm not opposed to groping altogether. I do understand that men have an undying love of certain female body parts. I do appreciate that he finds me attractive. 

I guess I didn't get my point across that I can rarely get a nice, affectionate hug or other type of touching that _doesn't_ end up with my ass or breasts being groped. Maybe sometimes I'm tired, or upset, or had a bad day, and I'd like to be held and made to feel he cares about what I'm feeling, not about what he can cop a feel of on my body. Is it unreasonable to want that? But I either get groped, or I get a stiff-backed arms around my upper back hug that feels like I'm hugging a stone sculpture instead of a warm body. 

I'm not a prude, and I'm not a cold, sex-withholding b***c of a wife. I like touching, and I like being playful. If groping was balanced by affection and respectful attention, I'd have absolutely no problem with it.


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## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

Waking up to life said:


> I'm not opposed to groping altogether. I do understand that men have an undying love of certain female body parts. I do appreciate that he finds me attractive.
> 
> I guess I didn't get my point across that I can rarely get a nice, affectionate hug or other type of touching that _doesn't_ end up with my ass or breasts being groped. Maybe sometimes I'm tired, or upset, or had a bad day, and I'd like to be held and made to feel he cares about what I'm feeling, not about what he can cop a feel of on my body. Is it unreasonable to want that? But I either get groped, or I get a stiff-backed arms around my upper back hug that feels like I'm hugging a stone sculpture instead of a warm body.
> 
> I'm not a prude, and I'm not a cold, sex-withholding b***c of a wife. I like touching, and I like being playful. If groping was balanced by affection and respectful attention, I'd have absolutely no problem with it.


Yes, I agree, the womans needs must be met too. I'm unfortunately one of those guys like your hubs.... Wandering hands. If I hug her, my hands end up dropping below the waist after a minute or so. If I come up to her from behind to hug, its usually with some neck kissing. She has told me some of the same things you posted, about not liking to be touched sexually, and about not wanting to feel like its always sexual. We both work on it. 

Here's the deal, we are men. Even if it's NOT meant to be sexual, it goes there in about 3 seconds of having your body in contact with ours. It's a deep, driving desire that we can control, but cannot make not exist.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

humanbecoming said:


> Here's the deal, we are men. Even if it's NOT meant to be sexual, it goes there in about 3 seconds of having your body in contact with ours. It's a deep, driving desire that we can control, but cannot make not exist.


Yup. For some (many? most?) men, touching our woman in private for any length of time while refraining from making it sexual requires actual effort. 

It's effort well spent and worth doing, but we actually have to say to ourselves "right now, she probably really wants me to keep my hands off of her ass" just about the time they start drifting south.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

:scratchhead:

Hell I would appreciate it if she just goes, "not in the mood" and then I'll try again some other time or simply work slowly to get her "in the mood"


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

soccermom2three said:


> Groping for us is like a little game. He gropes me and I display mock shock and indignation and then he chuckles like he did something naughty.


^^^^^^
This is like my wife and I.

She pretends to be shocked whenever I grope her and calls me a pervert.
Usually, after all the initial " uproar" she then pushes herself back on my zipper ,wiggles her a$$ and continues doing what she was doing before as if nothing ever happened.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Mavash. said:


> Been married for 21 years and all my efforts to be a better wife have paid off. We've had an awakening of sorts and we're closer than we've ever been both emotionally and physically.
> 
> He's never been a groper but now he is. Although I don't fully understand groping I'm totally cool with it.
> 
> ...


A smile is enough. Not being annoyed is enough. 

I looked at my wife a few minutes ago and said "let me see one". She shook her head and showed a boob. I smiled.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

soccermom2three said:


> This is my first post here, I hope I can jump in. A little info: My husband, (groper), and I, (gropee), are both 48, been together for 30 years, married for 22. Three kids, two in high school and one in elementary school.
> 
> Groping for us is like a little game. He gropes me and I display mock shock and indignation and then he chuckles like he did something naughty. The other day we were in his man cave and I went to bend over to pick something up and I realized where my behind would be if I did. I knew it would be way to tempting for him. I shifted over and bent over at another angle. He said, "Why did you move?" I said, "You know why." He starts laughing. I guess I deprived him of his chance, haha.
> 
> Before typing this post I was trying to remember if his groping has ever bothered me, I know it bothers some women. I don't think it ever has, I mean maybe I've rolled my eyes to myself a few times but deep down I think I really enjoy it, it's like he can't keep his hands off me. One thing I do know is that if my husband ever stops, that's when I have to start worrying.


Very awesome first post Soccer.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

Waking up to life said:


> I'm not a prude, and I'm not a cold, sex-withholding b***c of a wife. I like touching, and I like being *playful*. If groping was balanced by affection and respectful attention, I'd have absolutely no problem with it.


Groping, and I don't really like the word, is/should be playful.

If he is not being playful, that's a problem. 

If he is playful and you are reacting to him like this it's probably a symptom of bigger issue (you mention some). See my earlier post in this thread, there is some talking to be done.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Waking up to life said:


> I hate when my husband gropes me. It's his way of letting me know he's hoping for some action soon. And I get that. But he rarely touches me otherwise in a non-sexual way.
> 
> Sometimes I want a hug and affection without my ass getting grabbed. Sometimes he'll come up behind me while I'm cooking dinner and wrap his arms around me...I tense up, because as much as I want to think it's just a hug, no...he starts groping my breasts. If I protest, he gets offended. Sometimes I just want to change my clothes without him turning it into an open invitation to play with my breasts or grab my crotch.
> 
> He's not being like an alpha male jerk when he does this...he's acting more like a kid in a candy store. It's degrading to me.


Ex did this. As if my body was his right ALWAYS. It would be different if it were flirty or playful and in passing. Instead it was his way of saying "time to have sex". And saying no was rarely an option. So I REALLY appreciate a man who touches a lot in non-sexual ways or shows physical affection without it always leading to sex. And same for me doing it back. It's supposed to be playful.


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

I love sexual and no sexual touching. I can't keep my hands off my husband. I am such a pervert. I always try to stick my hands down his pants (at home) but I do cop a feel in public. I'm always looking down his shirt, and playing with what I find. I feel him up when he's at work, playing video games, any time really. 

He is better behaved in public. Mostly ass grabs or taps. He will hold my hips, which I love. He will hold my hand and rub my palm with his thumb. When we hug, he will ass grab, or if I'm sitting really close to him he will go for a boob squeeze, sometimes a nuzzle or a playful bite. 

I pretend it hurt, then go for a peck squeeze and a gentle nipple tweak. Then the playful biting starts. Then the wrestling starts where I pretend I'm a dainty girl, and he's being aggressive, too bad my squeals of delight make it hard for me to keep a straight face. 

I know--we have issues.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

EnjoliWoman said:


> Ex did this. As if my body was his right ALWAYS. It would be different if it were flirty or playful and in passing. Instead it was his way of saying "time to have sex". And saying no was rarely an option. So I REALLY appreciate a man who touches a lot in non-sexual ways or shows physical affection without it always leading to sex. And same for me doing it back. It's supposed to be playful.


Your ex was a [email protected] Hopefully when you have a good man who loves you and likes to be grabby (that's most of us), you won't be jaded by the actions of this jerk from your past.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Waking up to life said:


> I guess I didn't get my point across that I can rarely get *a nice, affectionate hug or other type of touching *that _doesn't_ end up with my ass or breasts being groped.


 this is what I have had all of our marriage.....the more sweet Romantic ...walk through the door, reaches to hug me, kiss me..an







on his lips...... reaching for my hand in the car/ on a walk, fingers through my hair when he holds me, the touchy feely affection (overload)... without the Groping....My husband is a little backwards... All of that should have led to more sexual groping....it did sometimes...but not as much as I feel it should have...or nearly as aggressive as...well... this woman thinks would have been a barrel of FUN! I think he screwed alot of his opportunities being "too nice" in the sexual.... in our past. 

Now that I GROPE... he GROPES... but geez... 




> I'm not a prude, and I'm not a cold, sex-withholding b***c of a wife. I like touching, and I like being playful. If groping was balanced by affection and respectful attention, I'd have absolutely no problem with it.


 I have to agree with what she is saying here.... I strongly feel one of the reasons I WANT my husband so much - always a craving there.... IS because of how he treats me *outside of the bedroom*.... I always feel very loved/ appreciated (it helps to know his favorite past time is >> *sex*)... he still could step up the flirting & groping a little.... but I've never questioned he wants
ALL of me.....not just a "release". 

A woman needs to feel that from her husband....it's just *that important*...it jump starts HER moving closer to him, that receptiveness - that "God , I love this man, I love how he makes me FEEL about myself, I want to give him the world". 












kingsfan said:


> If only they could clone you... or have you teach a seminar at least.


 I've come a *L* *O **N* *G* way ~ I think I'd be a little too "bashful " for that ~ but darn I love the subject !! 

I did get a reputation in one of my Ladies groups though, the enthusiasm I speak on these things, hmmmm they couldn't help but notice... I think the Leader is afraid to allow me to stand in front of them (being a christian group) to unleash all my ideas...they know me all too well... I get alot of looks like this ...







.. but that's all the FUN!!


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Thundarr said:


> Your ex was a [email protected] Hopefully when you have a good man who loves you and likes to be grabby (that's most of us), you won't be jaded by the actions of this jerk from your past.


No, I won't be jaded.  I really want that type of playful relationship with a balance of sexual and on-sexual touching. My "love language" is pretty evening tied 3 ways and touch is one.


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## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

Pandakiss said:


> I love sexual and no sexual touching. I can't keep my hands off my husband. I am such a pervert. I always try to stick my hands down his pants (at home) but I do cop a feel in public. I'm always looking down his shirt, and playing with what I find. I feel him up when he's at work, playing video games, any time really.
> 
> He is better behaved in public. Mostly ass grabs or taps. He will hold my hips, which I love. He will hold my hand and rub my palm with his thumb. When we hug, he will ass grab, or if I'm sitting really close to him he will go for a boob squeeze, sometimes a nuzzle or a playful bite.
> 
> ...


H-E-L-L NO!

This is entirely awesome!


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

My concept of groping is more like a caress than a pinch or jab. The women I've known wouldn't be keen for me give their breast a hard squeeze or jam a finger in them out of the blue. 

I can see where that may not be appreciated. A sudden uexpected squeezing of my testicles would probably cause me to hit my head on the ceiling as I jumped to escape rather than turning me on.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Mavash. said:


> Been married for 21 years and all my efforts to be a better wife have paid off. We've had an awakening of sorts and we're closer than we've ever been both emotionally and physically.
> 
> He's never been a groper but now he is. Although I don't fully understand groping I'm totally cool with it.
> 
> ...


It's awesome that it puts a smile on your face.A few years ago I was talking to my mother about stuff and she went on a whole tirade about how much she despises having her husband grope her when she walks by him and how she wants to knock his head off because he thinks it's sexy to do that.
So I think it's great you don't feel the same way she does! lol

When SO grabs me and I'm not in that state of mind I give him a coy smile and continue on my way OR I grab him back and smile  Either way he got noticed by me,which is the intent of grabbing,and smiling at him always puts me in a better mood...so for us it's a win win.


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

Pandakiss said:


> I love sexual and no sexual touching. I can't keep my hands off my husband. I am such a pervert. I always try to stick my hands down his pants (at home) but I do cop a feel in public. I'm always looking down his shirt, and playing with what I find. I feel him up when he's at work, playing video games, any time really.
> 
> He is better behaved in public. Mostly ass grabs or taps. He will hold my hips, which I love. He will hold my hand and rub my palm with his thumb. When we hug, he will ass grab, or if I'm sitting really close to him he will go for a boob squeeze, sometimes a nuzzle or a playful bite.
> 
> ...


If all couples had your issues, this world would be unimginably better.


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

EnjoliWoman said:


> Ex did this. As if my body was his right ALWAYS. It would be different if it were flirty or playful and in passing. Instead it was his way of saying "time to have sex". And saying no was rarely an option. So I REALLY appreciate a man who touches a lot in non-sexual ways or shows physical affection without it always leading to sex. And same for me doing it back. It's supposed to be playful.


One thing I have really worked on is decoupling these types of things from direct sex. By that I mean "groping" is about being fun and playful, not about getting sex. It is showing her that she is sexy and attractive and I can't keep my hands off her. But I also mix it up with other touching, including just a hug or kiss. I have to pay close attention to her mood, but get it right most of the time.

So I make it a point to continue the touching, both sexual and non-sexual, when sex is clearly not on the table that evening. It seemed to take the pressure off, as she could accept those touches without worrying that it would lead to me initiating. She enjoyed them for just the touching and being close. This actually has led to more sex, because she apparently can just go with things and let them lead to more rather than immediately getting defensive.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

So how am I supposed to respond when my wife gropes me?

She's always touching me down there and grabbing my butt.......


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## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

Big smile....


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## Rottdad42 (Nov 26, 2012)

If I may respond. Hi my name is Rottdad42 and I'm a groper. IMHO I find that groping in a relationship, keeps a relationship. When I do these things to my baybess she loves it. I have asked her "shall I stop" in a low, sexy, bedroom talk. Her response would be something like "Um ya nooooo! We both enjoy that connection.

In the the middle of hectic work days coupled with kids, its' hard to do the dirty, when your heading to work. Or just flat out tired. I think our reasoning is in some small way we are telling each other, I love you, I appreciate you, I need you. BTW sometimes I don't even grope, just a look with a coy wink will stir it up. My favorite reaction, very little input, with a whole lot of return. I love it.


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