# Does it really bother/threaten you if I beat you at something?



## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

I have heard advice before about 'letting the man win,' to preserve his masculinity, etc..

Is that really true? I love good competition & I kick my husband's ass sometimes at certain things..

If a woman beats you at something, does that affect how you, as a man, feel about yourself? 

Does it affect how you see your wife? (less feminine, etc..)

I feel like I should be myself & kick some booty when I can..not pretend to be non-competitive for his sake.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 45188 (Sep 13, 2012)

Bothers some, not others. Mine is someone it bothers. I let him 'teach' me stuff I know way more about than him still hahahaha


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Wouldn't know as I am such a big tough alpha manly man she never beats me at anything.

*Flexes muscles, looks in mirror, strikes pose and thinks how good I look*


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

This does bother men who don't feel secure in themselves. I knew I had found a keeper in hubby when we went to a carnival when dating and I beat him at a game and he didn't pout or sulk.

We are both uber-competitive so we LOVE to try new games and see who comes out the high scorer. To take it up a notch, we'll even bet sexual favors on the outcome.


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## BjornFree (Aug 16, 2012)

karma*girl said:


> I have heard advice before about 'letting the man win,' to preserve his masculinity, etc..
> 
> Is that really true? I love good competition & I kick my husband's ass sometimes at certain things..
> 
> ...


I actually let my wife win at chess sometimes.

But there are a lot of things she can beat me at, for example, cooking and housework.


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## TrustInUs (Sep 9, 2012)

My H isn't usually upset by this except the one time I beat him at a game of basketball. He _says_ it was because I hadn't played in so long and he didn't really think I'd win.  Other than that he's a good sport when I do beat him at stuff.


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

I work with kids with special educational needs. My co worker won't even let these kids beat him at anything!
He takes great pleasure in being the biggest and best at everything!
Trying to make up for something I reckon!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mark72 (May 26, 2012)

I am used to losing. If I can beat my wife at a game, she won't play...


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## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

I would hate if my husband let me win, like it's an insult. 

I like to win fair & square : )

It does seem true that if he's insecure, he'd have a problem with being beat.

We love playing (anything) together...when he's playing something with the kids, he often says, "let's see if mommy can do this, I wanna see her try!"

I know he enjoys watching me try things...he HATES when I give up...maybe because it's more fun with solid competition
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

I am competitive, and I like to do things well. So if you were my wife/gf and you beat me at something it would make me determined to do better. I wouldn't be hurt about it or dislike you. But I would have to give you a good shagging later on.


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## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

I still want to know what guys think of their wives when their wives beat them?

Inside, would you rather be with a non-competitive girl who often lost the competition to you? 

I'm seriously curious..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

Oh I just saw that..haha..a good shagging))

That's the thing- if I beat you, would it make me less attractive to you?
Based on what you say, the answer is no..because if you still wanna do your woman, she's still hot to you regardless of her competitive prowess, am I right?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

karma*girl said:


> I have heard advice before about 'letting the man win,' to preserve his masculinity, etc..
> 
> Is that really true? I love good competition & *I kick my husband's ass *sometimes at certain things..
> 
> ...


That would bother me. Would make it totally unenjoyable for me.


I'm reasonably competitive but for me it's more about the game itself than winning. In fact I'd coach and encourage my wife to beat me.


Put me in a business scenario and it's a whole different ball game.


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

my ex stopped playing Words with Friends with me because I always beat him.

he said it was boring playing me

because I always won I guess


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## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

That's funny- I am really good at that game too- when we played eachother, we'd go back & forth on winning, yet he still says he never lost, hehe..

AFEH- would it bother you because it's no fun when it's not a good match-up, or because it's your wife being better than you at something?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

karma*girl said:


> AFEH- would it bother you because it's no fun when it's not a good match-up, or because it's your wife being better than you at something?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I think with sports, people are split into two camps. There’s those that must win under any circumstances and don’t enjoy it unless they do and are very bad losers and those who enjoy the game, win or lose.

With your “kick ass” expression you come across as the former. I just don’t enjoy sports with those types of people. I go out to enjoy the game, winning for me is a bonus, not a necessity.


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## sweaty teddy (Nov 13, 2012)

I can't win a board game to save my life.

and no it dosn't bother me I just quit playing games with her!

LOL just joking I never play games with her anyways.


funny thing I have taken women to the firing range and they always do better than their man. well not always but a fair bit of the time. and the men wince with pain when their women can shoot better than them!!!!

women listen to instruction better and have more respect for the gun thats why they fair so well when learning to shoot. at least in my opinion.


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## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

My kick ass comment was used loosely & not meant to be the focus...I meant it in a feisty, fun way..I'm not hard-core, but I have fun in match-ups..I love to win, but if not, oh well! I'm always laughing & playing around anyway...I do wish more people enjoyed the game part as much as winning- otherwise, the joy is kind of sucked out.
So I see what you mean!

As far as going to the firing range, every woman I know that has gone, has done really well- pretty cool! 
Of course, I can't wait to try it! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

To be honest if we play games on the X-box or the wii we always play co-op games. We had great fun completing the gears of war games and zombie killing type games.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Doesn't bother me, if I loose.
Sometimes I let my wife win 
" to feed her masculine ego.."
Yup she's very competitive..........


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

karma*girl said:


> I have heard advice before about 'letting the man win,' to preserve his masculinity, etc..
> 
> Is that really true? I love good competition & I kick my husband's ass sometimes at certain things..
> 
> ...


Bring it!

But to answer your question NFW. My wife and I are a team. We bring different things to the table. Together we are better than alone.

I married a competent woman. In general my kryptonite with women is a nice looking yet highly intelligent and competent woman. That is sexy to me.

Kudos to my wife if she can beat me at something. I respect that because for sure that is not an easy thing to do. LOL.

But all this said what are you really talking about? Beat him at what?


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

BjornFree said:


> I actually let my wife win at chess sometimes.
> 
> But there are a lot of things she can beat me at, for example, cooking and housework.


There's no way my wife can beat me at cooking......
Housework, yes. I hate housework.

But the kitchen belongs to me.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

daisygirl 41 said:


> I work with kids with special educational needs. My co worker won't even let these kids beat him at anything!
> He takes great pleasure in being the biggest and best at everything!
> Trying to make up for something I reckon!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I let children win often but not all of the time. Very much depends. We want them to have fun and learn. Making it too easy is not always helpful. 

Special needs? I bet I would never win. Maybe once is a while so it could be best two out of three.


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## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

Entropy3000, that's awesome to hear, thanks!

..and I'm talking Handball..we have neighborhood tournaments..he hits hard, but I'm fast and agile, so I can connect with his hardest hits.
..also, poker..he seemed annoyed when I was beating him last time we played, but he won't say it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

karma*girl said:


> Entropy3000, that's awesome to hear, thanks!
> 
> ..and I'm talking Handball..we have neighborhood tournaments..he hits hard, but I'm fast and agile, so I can connect with his hardest hits.
> ..also, poker..he seemed annoyed when I was beating him last time we played, but he won't say it.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Cool. I would get more enjoyment playing against someone who is a little better than me. Man or woman makes absolutely zero difference to me.

In your situation if my wife beat me more often than not I would probably work harder at it. IThe handball anyway. I would be proud of her and happy for her. But I would not lose self esteem. After all any woman who was married to me is pretty awesome. LOL.


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## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

I wish my hubby could beat me at cooking! CM, you have a lucky lady! 
Mine can cook, but works a lot, so it's all on me :/ 
I hate cleaning too- so damn boring, but gotta do it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

Lol! ...that's what I think- makes for a fun match if there's that tension..I like to keep my opponent on their toes
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SpinDaddy (Nov 12, 2012)

karma*girl said:


> I still want to know what guys think of their wives when their wives beat them?
> 
> Inside, would you rather be with a non-competitive girl who often lost the competition to you?
> 
> ...


If she were to let me win, I’d be seriously disappointed, it contravenes the whole spirit of sportsmanship.

That said, we do spot each other things like proper nouns, foreign languages, acronyms, legal and medical terminology in Scrabble and I’ve never really taken Croquet seriously – I look at that Horse Shoes and Bocce as gentrified drinking games for family get-togethers. 

I miss old fashioned Lawn Darts – but then there was drunken Uncle Larry this one Thanksgiving . . .


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

karma*girl said:


> Lol! ...that's what I think- makes for a fun match if there's that tension..I like to keep my opponent on their toes
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yup. That would be fun for me. I say beat your hubby at handball when you can.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

SpinDaddy said:


> If she were to let me win, I’d be seriously disappointed, it contravenes the whole spirit of sportsmanship.
> 
> That said, we do spot each other things like proper nouns, foreign languages, acronyms, legal and medical terminology in Scrabble and I’ve never really taken Croquet seriously – I look at that Horse Shoes and Bocce as gentrified drinking games for family get-togethers.
> 
> I miss old fashioned Lawn Darts – but then there was drunken Uncle Larry this one Thanksgiving . . .


Just no hitting me in the nads or in the head with the lawn dart.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

karma*girl said:


> I have heard advice before about 'letting the man win,' to preserve his masculinity, etc..
> 
> Is that really true? I love good competition & I kick my husband's ass sometimes at certain things..
> 
> ...


If it's arguments and sh-t, then no, it shouldn't be about winning. That's the one major flaw of my marriage, we were always too focused on who would get the upper hand. It led to unhealthy dynamics and now seperation.

But for other sh-t, non-serious sh-t, fun sh-t, like sports, games, etc I love a good competition as well. My STBX kicked my ass from time to time, she's better than me in some things I'm better then her in others, the competition in our leisure times helped ensure we were at our best, and inspired us to continue improving ourselves.


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## Mistys dad (Dec 2, 2011)

It doesn't bother me to lose.

Where it crosses the line is that so many women make it about "getting beaten by a girl". Even when it is a skill game like Poker or Backgammon.

Most guys can compete, then shake hands and go have a beer and it's over. A lot of women feel the need to beat it into the ground.

The only thing worse than a sore loser, is a poor winner.


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## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

Such a great point, Mistys dad!! Very worth remembering!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

karma*girl said:


> Entropy3000, that's awesome to hear, thanks!
> 
> ..and I'm talking Handball..we have neighborhood tournaments..he hits hard, but I'm fast and agile, so I can connect with his hardest hits.
> ..also, poker..he seemed annoyed when I was beating him last time we played, but he won't say it.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Competition like this is complicated for me. I hate to lose and when I was younger was a very poor loser. I am much better now, but still need to fight my natural urge to win all the time. 

As a general matter, I don't care if my wife beats me at something. I do want it to be somewhat competitive, so we rarely play games were one of us always wins. I won't let her win (or her me), though I will back off occasionally in some physical sports so that she has a chance. So when we have played tennis in the past, I can't stay at the net and will often not try for winners such as drop shots or the like. However, I still make her have to beat me by making winning shots. While I would generally beat her, she won enough to keep it competitive.

With respect to poker, I do get irked at times, in part because I take it seriously when I play while she does not. She chases cards and enjoys just playing, while I play the percentages and am looking to win money. So when she does win (coupled with me losing), I am not generally happy, at least for a couple of minutes.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

...
I have to agree with Misty Dad on that one


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

karma*girl said:


> Oh I just saw that..haha..a good shagging))
> 
> That's the thing- if I beat you, would it make me less attractive to you?
> Based on what you say, the answer is no..because if you still wanna do your woman, she's still hot to you regardless of her competitive prowess, am I right?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Super hot if you are competitive with me in a fun way.

My two top Love Languages are touch and quality time. Competition definitely hits the quality time, and it can also get some touch in there depending on the sport.

A man wants to be alpha, but it doesn't mean win every time at all costs. My wife is a better skier than I, and dammit I was on the college ski team and taught her how to ski! No big deal though, it gets the right kind of tensions going.

The only thing I don't mind losing at is poker. Strip poker.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Tall Average Guy said:


> I won't let her win (or her me)


The one thing that does irk me is when we play cards with other couples. The women, including my wife, will sometimes back off and not pounce when they obviously could.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

> The only thing I don't mind losing at is poker. Strip poker.


No way, I prefer the lady in question naked first 
Also one of my hobbies!


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## TrustInUs (Sep 9, 2012)

Thor said:


> Super hot if you are competitive with me in a fun way.
> 
> My two top Love Languages are touch and quality time. Competition definitely hits the quality time, and it can also get some touch in there depending on the sport.
> 
> ...




I can't play poker so we play strip spades, gin, or bid whiz. (I know sounds boring) It took me a while to figure this out but the only time I've ever beat my husband at cards or video games for that matter was when stripping was in involved. I think he figured if he let me win sometimes I'd keep wanting to play.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

She has a competitive edge. 
You are the god of war and thunder

Why do you not compete the way we do? 

Wrestling for me, MMA for her. Very erotic experience.


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## oldgeezer (Sep 8, 2012)

karma*girl said:


> I have heard advice before about 'letting the man win,' to preserve his masculinity, etc..
> 
> Is that really true? I love good competition & I kick my husband's ass sometimes at certain things..
> 
> ...


If my wife and I ever did something where she "allowed" me to win, I would be so incredibly insulted I would probably consider just packing up and moving out. That kind of condescension is absolutely intolerable in any relationship. 

If she beats me at some game, it means she beat me at some game. I can't say it matters in any significant way. Perhaps because I have never viewed being married as a competitive sport.


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## BjornFree (Aug 16, 2012)

Caribbean Man said:


> There's no way my wife can beat me at cooking......
> Housework, yes. I hate housework.
> 
> But the kitchen belongs to me.


I suck at cooking. Bare essentials, yes. Fancy pansy no, leave it to the missus.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Although my wife loves to be competitive,
I think we have the most fun when we play games that require teamwork.
We go kayaking a lot. Most times we go in separate kayaks , and she likes to race. She's good at it, and sometimes she wins.
But when we go in double kayaks , there's lots more fun , because if either one of us messes up,we could both find ourselves in deep water...
I guess the same principle applies to other areas of our marriage!


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

Thor said:


> The one thing that does irk me is when we play cards with other couples. The women, including my wife, will sometimes back off and not pounce when they obviously could.


I hate that more than losing.


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

Definitely doesn't bother me. My wife and I play all kinds of games, bowling, cards etc. etc.

I'm better at a lot of things, she's better at some. We play to enjoy each others' company and also to enjoy the game. I don't let her win, but I do hate landslides when it's 1 on 1. Like Cribbage, if I'm up 105 to 65 lets say, I'd rather just start a new game at that point.  My wife likes to see it through though LOL.

She's a better bowler (well candle pin, not big ball or duck pin) we went bowling on our first date and she beat me handily (I hadn't bowled in 10 years and she was in a league). I didn't mind at all because I'm sitting there watching her walking up to throw the ball and my wife has an AMAZING A$$. Guess when I fell in love with it LOL. I didn't mind getting beat that day, I still was the winner. 2 hours of looking at a sexy a$$ leaning over in front of you etc. etc. What a great day.


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## tm84 (Jul 24, 2011)

I'd be insulted if I knew that my wife let me beat her at something to save my ego. If she's better than me at something, then good for her. I'm not going to go sulk in the corner because a 'girl' beat me at something. That kind of insecure behavior is most certaionly frowned upon by yours truly


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

karma*girl said:


> I have heard advice before about 'letting the man win,' to preserve his masculinity, etc..
> 
> Is that really true? I love good competition & I kick my husband's ass sometimes at certain things..
> 
> ...


That's about the dumbest thing a woman could do for me. 

I'd be deeply insulted if my woman pulled this crap.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

> I have heard advice before about 'letting the man win,' to preserve his masculinity, etc..


I wouldn't dream of patronizing my partner in this manner, and I certainly couldn't be around a man who felt threatened by me beating him at a board game.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

This line of thinking is in the same family as "I fake it to make him feel like a man".


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

I guess it depends on what it is. Some things I wouldn't care. My wife runs faster than me, and I'm fine with it. But I won't generally run with her because she rubs it in, and I really don't need that. I also hate horseback riding with her because she becomes a bossy know it all. It's weird, the things I'm better at I don't try to put her down for....but that's SOP for her on the things she's better at. There's something to be said for winning graciously.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

karma*girl said:


> That's funny- I am really good at that game too- when we played eachother, we'd go back & forth on winning, yet he still says he never lost, hehe..
> 
> AFEH- would it bother you because it's no fun when it's not a good match-up, or because it's your wife being better than you at something?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


No, it doesn't bother me if my wife ever beats me at anything. But I tend to win more than lose in most things if we compete against each other. 

FYI, I'd probably whip your ass playing that words game, and I've never played it before...


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## Soccerfan73 (Jul 30, 2011)

I'd have no problem with her winning pretty much anything against me. 

But rubbing it in would bug me, to be honest. I don't do that with anyone and having it done to me is a little like nails on a chalkboard rather than "hot". To me anyway.


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