# On being noticed...



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

I love the way my husband notices me. He notices when I...

*get my hair colored or cut, even if only slightly

*wear any new piece of clothing

*wear a new (or any) fragrance

*gain or lose weight (he likes both, it is a "change" and he likes the variety it provides)

He will also notice my mood, and ask about it if I seem worn out or sad, or even unusually happy.

He notices if I've done something around the house, or gotten my car washed.

He just pays attention to me and notices me. It feels great. I know he's into me. 

I notice him, too. But I would not notice some of the finer details he notices on my own...however I follow his lead and actually pay more attention to notice them and mention them as he does about me. It makes me feel so good, I want to do the same for him.

Does your husband notice you? Do you notice him? If not, would you like more of it? Or maybe less? I can imagine for some people they feel noticed "too much" to where it feels uncomfortable, like being watched. There's a fine line, I suppose.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Recently Mr H met me as I drove up the drive, was dark outside and he noticed I had my hair cut and coloured but not that different to the usual style. I was amazed that he noticed in the dark.
Yes he notices new clothes etc. I like the way he looks at me and smiles.

But he will tell me if he has put on weight, he is very tall and broad shouldered and I have never noticed any difference in his weight. I do notice new clothes, hair cut or when he has done a trim to his facial hair.


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## thefam (Sep 9, 2014)

When we first got married 10 years ago I didn’t give my H compliments or verbal appreciation even though I felt he was the greatest thing since sliced bread. It was exactly like what FW said: his compliments and verbal stroking made me feel so good that I wanted to do the same for him. In the beginning, the only thing that came natural for me was basic making out. 

I guess I never thought about the first step of actually noticing. I always looked at it as how much I love to be acknowledged. But I guess he does have to notice first. 

He does not notice in as much fine detail as your H, FW. It is more in general like "You look amazing babe". I would like for him to notice the fine details like "your makeup looks nice " or "is that a new dress". But I'm not going to complain because number 1, a compliment I have to ask for is not the same and number 2, I do feel loved and appreciated by the verbal stroking that he already does.


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## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

Hey baby, I couldn't help but notice you, noticing me, noticing you.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Faithful Wife said:


> Does your husband notice you? Do you notice him?


It's in the actions that I know that he notices me. 


I was recovering from a head-cold, it'd been a tiring day at work and I had Japanese class afterwards so I got home late. As I arrived home, he came out to the garage to meet me, gave me a hug, then automatically carried my bags from the car. He said he'd boiled the kettle ready to make me a cuppa tea (music to my ears! and just what I needed). As we walked inside, he complimented the alluring way my skirt fit my body. 

I notice him. If he's becoming stressed with work, I've left random love notes for him to find amidst his post-it work notes. He loves finding these when he least expects them. I remember and take interest in details about certain meetings or happenings of his day. Often he will share, ask my take on things. Sometimes he doesn't want to talk about it. I notice that sometimes he says that but once he's had chill time, will bring it up and want to talk. I notice (and tell him) how good he looks and smells. That's in my nature to do so but I know that touch is more important to him than verbal compliments. When I touch him, just in everyday moments, he will make a quiet _mmm_....


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

Faithful Wife said:


> I love the way my husband notices me. He notices when I...
> 
> *get my hair colored or cut, even if only slightly
> *wear any new piece of clothing
> ...


He's a keeper.

Does he give out lessons to husbands that are soo busy helping their friends and family, that the wife is almost last on his list or importance meter?

Maybe if I just start "noticing" (and voicing) things about him, he will start to follow suit and notice me more?


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Chelle D said:


> He's a keeper.
> 
> *Does he give out lessons to husbands that are soo busy helping their friends and family, that the wife is almost last on his list or importance meter?*
> 
> Maybe if I just start "noticing" (and voicing) things about him, he will start to follow suit and notice me more?


There are plenty of books that would explain to a husband who puts his wife last on his importance meter that he will soon lose her love and attention. 

Have you talked to him about it?


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## 4x4 (Apr 15, 2014)

The way you look tonight - Michael Buble


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

My SO notices lots of things, and doesn't notice lots of things - he won't notice if I've gained a little weight, but he will notice if I've built up the tiniest bit of muscle (even though I think he's making it up, lol). He's very encouraging that way about my workouts.

I've noticed that he loves to be noticed - hair, his own workout gains, compliments on being handy, smart, thoughtful. So, I make sure to pay attention and tell him.

There's a book I read long ago...Light His Fire. It says men love being noticed, appreciated and complimented because it doesn't really happen so often. So one way to improve a marriage is to make sure you pay attention to the positive things he does/says/is and compliment him regularly or admire him for something, even if it is a small thing. There is a companion book, Light Her Fire, but I haven't read that.


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## McDean (Jun 13, 2015)

Ironically I have really tried hard to notice my wife, the things she changes and the things she does. I feel like I am only 50% successful in doing so based on her reactions. Sadly and to Norajane's comment, I get almost nothing from her in return except what I do in/at my job...


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