# Accused of being a narcissist.



## jlcrome (Nov 5, 2017)

Anybody got accused of being a narcissist? Sure I have so I took the test to see how I rank test showed that I failed miserably. Like 5 very low 40 is high so why do spouses play this card now days? Seem like society is tossing this word around way too much nowdays.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Is she a narcissist? 

That might explain it.


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## tropicalbeachiwish (Jun 1, 2016)

jlcrome said:


> Seem like society is tossing this word around way too much nowdays.


I agree. There's been a lot of labeling others as "narcissist". However, I do think society is changing to be more self-gratifying without regards to others.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

There's a LOT of dime-store diagnoses constantly being made, especially on message boards. People 'diagnosing' someone as a 'sex addict' if he's a serial cheater, or a 'Borderline Personality Disordered' person if their behavior has certain traits that are characteristic of the disorder, accusing men of having a 'porn addiction' if they look at porn more than once a month, and the CONSTANT claims of someone being a 'narcissist' if they act like a self-entitled ass-hole.

Just being honest, but there are A LOT of self-entitled ass-holes out there that are simply self-entitled ass-holes and nothing more.

It's really just beyond ridiculous at this point.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

What test?

I’ve been accused. Let me assure you, from their perspective they were justified.


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## dubsey (Feb 21, 2013)

Are you selfish? there's a difference.

All narcissists are selfish, but not all selfish people are narcissists.

My brother is a ginormous selfish jackass, but it doesn't necessarily make him a narcissist, according to the DSM V.


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## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

We are all narcissistic to some degree - its a huge spectrum. The problem starts when someone tips into the malignant end of the spectrum. i.e will hurt/control/abuse/manipulate/ entirely to have their own needs met. 

If you have empathy for others, have a sense of right and wrong, occasionally do good deeds because it is just the right thing to do, are able to be happy for those who achieve more or have more, can accept others who are superior (i.e those in authority), are happy admitting faults, are flexible in thinking (can act upon negative feedback to become a better person) .....chances are you are not NPD. 

Another thing that I have noticed is that those who are concerned that they may have NPD generally are not because true malignant narcs believe their own BS about being totally awesome ALL the time. Those who can be self reflective and question their actions are highly unlikely to be NPD. That is why those tests are pointless. 

So you are right - the N word is misused a lot but it is OK to say I can be a little narcissistic at times because we all have it in us to some degree.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

No links?

I am curious, but not enough to search for things others seem to have at their fingertips.

Narcissistic behavior in action!

My connection to the internet is poor from inside this government secured building on my own phone. I don’t use their systems for my own phone. You can’t trust the Man.

Paranoia in action.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

If you don't think other people matter as much as you do, you're probably pretty narcissistic. If it's never even occurred to you that other people _might_ matter as much as you do, you're quickly edging into the possibility of being an actual narcissist. 

Narcissistic behaviors lie along a spectrum. Most people display some narcissistic traits from time to time and to varying degrees. But it's possible to be very narcissistic, without crossing over into actually being a narcissist - that is, having diagnosable NPD. Let me assure you, though, that folks who don't quite make the cut for NPD can still be pretty damaging to those around them.

And, yes, our modern society seems to be creating ever more narcissistic people. But I still think it's unwise to try to diagnose people over the internet. And someone who accuses their partner of being a narcissist may be indicating as much or more about themselves as they are about that partner.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

I had to leave the site to get to the internet to find a web site with some test.

NPI. I only scored 18, so the test must be flawed. Some of the questions are simply lame. And why do they have questions about physical beauty? I'm bald, for God's sake!

While I know I am great, I am certainly smart enough to recognize other humans are too self absorbed to recognize my greatness.

My wife never accused me of narcissism. People like her sister's abusive ex husband did. Some people at my wife's old church when I stole my wife away from that church. Not my wife, though.

Interestingly they showed a chart of scores over time and it does show a trend of increasing about 12 percent across the time charted, 1980 through 2006.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

One can be a narcissist who displays plenty of narcissistic behavior without having an actual diagnosis of (or fitting all of the criteria for) Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

It’s subjective.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I'm less interested in labels and more interested in the actual toxic behaviors.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

People like to throw around psych diagnoses like they know what they are talking about, but only a psychiatrist can say for sure. Was the person who said it a psychiatrist? No? Then forget about it. The person who threw that at you doesn't like you, or doesn't like your behavior. 

You MIGHT be a jerk, so it might be worth examining your behavior which led the other person to call you a narcissist. But you're probably not a narcissist, no more than the majority of the population.


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## FalCod (Dec 6, 2017)

I think it is a side effect of the social media revolution. People's self-absorption is much easier to see. We weren't used to seeing it before so now people label lots of people as narcissists.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Narcicisst, Sociopath, Passive-Agressive, they all seem so similar to me.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

There is today a much simpler test you can take -

Do you behave like the POTUS? If yes, there's a good chance you're a narcissist.


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## Magnesium (Jun 19, 2017)

FeministInPink said:


> People like to throw around psych diagnoses like they know what they are talking about, but only a psychiatrist can say for sure. Was the person who said it a psychiatrist? No? Then forget about it. The person who threw that at you doesn't like you, or doesn't like your behavior.
> 
> You MIGHT be a jerk, so it might be worth examining your behavior which led the other person to call you a narcissist. But you're probably not a narcissist, *no more than the majority of the population*.


Not exactly a comforting thought, considering how narcissistic people have become!


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

And here I think the world suffers from way too much Mr. Nice Guy.

Real narcissism is bad. But most people don't come even vaguely close enough to standing up for themselves. The world has too many sheep.

That's why so many people fall prey to telemarketers. If people would just stand up and stop saying, "Well, okay I guess" then users would stop being able to get away with taking advantage of people. No more stolen savings! It only happens because people won't stand up and say, "NO!"

The problem isn't the people who take advantage. We can't get rid of them. They are a plague, but trying to dream them away is totally unrealistic.

But then, hoping people learn to stand up for their rights is totally unrealistic too.

What I see is too many people who are beaten down and crushed, who need to stand up and be strong. 

On this board these very threads are full of beaten down souls who barely find it possible to say they would rather not have that boot in the face again today. Where is the strength for them? I would like to see them lifted out of their misery somehow to know they have the absolute right to stand up for themselves.

Perhaps the approach Patton took is not right, and I don't know the right way myself, but what I see our schools churning out is children who are so filled with angst and self doubt they allow anyone to take advantage of them. The number of people who suffer low self esteem is astounding. The problems that creates are agonizing.


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## jarhed (Nov 11, 2012)

Cletus said:


> There is today a much simpler test you can take -
> 
> Do you behave like the POTUS? If yes, there's a good chance you're a narcissist.



And if you behave like Hillary Clinton you are a compulsive lying psychotic narcissist


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

jarhed said:


> And if you behave like Hillary Clinton you are a compulsive lying psychotic narcissist


One diagnosis at a time, pal.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

peacem said:


> We are all narcissistic to some degree - its a huge spectrum. The problem starts when someone tips into the malignant end of the spectrum. i.e will hurt/control/abuse/manipulate/ entirely to have their own needs met.
> 
> If you have empathy for others, have a sense of right and wrong, occasionally do good deeds because it is just the right thing to do, are able to be happy for those who achieve more or have more, can accept others who are superior (i.e those in authority), are happy admitting faults, are flexible in thinking (can act upon negative feedback to become a better person) .....chances are you are not NPD.
> 
> ...


Uh, SunCMars agrees with this.
It is the other two guys in his head who fit the mold.

Uh, now there is only one guy in his head who fits the mold. he is a perfect fit, a Narc., viz., The Martian.
The Typist is gone. Dead and buried.



Lilith-

I do not count. I am co-dependent.
And I am too beautiful to be called names.
I only have one man under my belt.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

jarhed said:


> And if you behave like Hillary Clinton you are a compulsive lying psychotic narcissist


When the piano keys are hit rapidly, they chatter sweet music.

I love you bro.....

Na, like you, friend.
Ya gotta waaach yo vweerbs.


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