# Hello Again.....



## AnnRains (Oct 16, 2013)

Hello all, 


Well, after two years I am here again.... go figure. Except this time I left! It still hurts the same though. But I know exactly what I have to do. I married my best friend, my soul mate. And I have to realize that people change. Why would I want to stay with a man who wouldnt walk across the street for me when I would circle the moon for him. 

Feeling down, depressed. A bit like a failure, mainly for my girls. 

Heartbroken


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## milltown01 (Mar 2, 2015)

I wasn't here the first time you were here - but I like the tone of your post. You sound like your head is in as good of a place as possible - but I know from experience that it's sometimes harder to follow through. I'd say definitely don't feel like a failure - because you are not a failure. I wish I had some words of wisdom - but definitely don't feel that way. It's okay to feel down and heartbroken because you are. I also understand feeling like you let down your kids - that's a tough one.

I, too, married my best friend - my soul mate. We changed after we lost our daughter - our first child - at birth - and we lost one another. We're still in the middle of the process - but yeah - I feel everything you feel - especially the part about the kids. That really hurts. They don't even know, yet - but I think it will hurt them badly. Their whole lives are built around the security of their mom and dad and we're taking that away from them - essentially scattering our own lives to the wind and hoping everything shakes out.

It's not my choice - but I can't make it work without her.

Anyway - you're not a failure - stay strong - stay true to yourself and your kids.


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## AnnRains (Oct 16, 2013)

Thank you for your kind words, I feel that I did not try hard enough. I just havent been able to forgive him for the past and therefore made our reconcile efforts pointless. I have only prolonged the agony for myself and my girls. Sadly I want to run home and beg for another chance to make it work, but I know in my heart that after 4 years of trying it is time to let it be. My heart just breaks, I feel so alone. I was a child when we got married. How do you start all over, ugh 

Thank you so much and I am so sorry you are going thru the same thing. Best of luck.


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## len51 (May 22, 2015)

You did not fail, you succeeded because you left. I believe that soul mates and love do not necessarily go hand in hand. I am not married to my soul mate. I am married to the woman I love and who would circle the moon for me despite not having much in common except a love that makes her know that I will never leave her for another women.


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## milltown01 (Mar 2, 2015)

AnnRains said:


> Thank you for your kind words, I feel that I did not try hard enough. I just havent been able to forgive him for the past and therefore made our reconcile efforts pointless. I have only prolonged the agony for myself and my girls. Sadly I want to run home and beg for another chance to make it work, but I know in my heart that after 4 years of trying it is time to let it be. My heart just breaks, I feel so alone. I was a child when we got married. How do you start all over, ugh
> 
> Thank you so much and I am so sorry you are going thru the same thing. Best of luck.


It comes down to you having to know when it's time, I guess. There is nothing easy about going through this process - not at all - but you will get through it. Never lose site of that. You won't feel alone forever. You will bounce back.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

I read your previous post about your WH and his young thing and your own indiscretion when you were heading for divorce, then your reconciliation just before divorce. So what happened this time? Did he cheat again or you decided you couldn't continue after what happened before.

I guess now you are wiser and stronger after the rollercoaster you went through before.

I wish you and your children well but I cannot imagine he will let you go that easily if you are the one instigating this?


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## poida (Jan 17, 2014)

I know the feeling.
It's just sad really and it's hard to get out of the slump sometimes.
I'm 1 1/2 years down the road and I'm still impeded emotionally.
I still feel angry about the whole thing.
You know I have forgiven the cheating.
But I haven't forgiven the false R, the inability to repair the relationship and her decision to make a life with her affair partner.
She still doesn't get how much she has hurt me. Nobody how hasn't been cheated on can even begin to understand.
Keep soldiering on.
I'm moving in with my GF this weekend, even though I'm not totally in love.
I still have some shields up and not allowing myself to fall totally.
I just know something good is there and I have to persist to get to that happy place.
My GF really deserves more, but I am giving all I can give.
That makes me sad as well.


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## AnnRains (Oct 16, 2013)

This time.....No he hasnt cheated that I know of. He has just pulled away from me. Has nothing to do with the kids and their activities which causes us to fight all of the time. We both cant forgive each other and seem to anyways nitpick and poke at each other.


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