# Husband Cheated and don't know what to do



## inpainmom (Mar 4, 2010)

This is my first time post and I am looking for some support. My husband of 21 years was caught cheating with an employee that he supervises who is also married. I had been in the hospital and recovering after back surgery. I found a hotel receipt after Thanksgiving and he said he "went crazy" and was going to get a hooker but could not go through with it! As crazy as the story sounded I wanted to believe him and begged him to tell me the truth. Well, last week I found text messages from this girl that were signed xoxo and he confessed it was her he had an affair with. He told me after I found the receipt that they decided to break it off and there had been very little contact since.

I don't know what to do as he was such a good liar the first time and that hurts almost as much as the act. Also, I wonder if he could cheat on me when I was in the hospital and unable to walk, what is to stop him now! He says he is sorry and wants the marriage, but I am just not sure!! I wonder if he wants the marriage so I wont expose it to the people that he works with, which would be very damaging to him professionally.

Thanks for any words of wisdom


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

You might be able to get him fired - in this economy he might struggle to get another job. Say you divorce then - the less he earns at time of divorce the worse your financial settlement will be.



inpainmom said:


> This is my first time post and I am looking for some support. My husband of 21 years was caught cheating with an employee that he supervises who is also married. I had been in the hospital and recovering after back surgery. I found a hotel receipt after Thanksgiving and he said he "went crazy" and was going to get a hooker but could not go through with it! As crazy as the story sounded I wanted to believe him and begged him to tell me the truth. Well, last week I found text messages from this girl that were signed xoxo and he confessed it was her he had an affair with. He told me after I found the receipt that they decided to break it off and there had been very little contact since.
> 
> I don't know what to do as he was such a good liar the first time and that hurts almost as much as the act. Also, I wonder if he could cheat on me when I was in the hospital and unable to walk, what is to stop him now! He says he is sorry and wants the marriage, but I am just not sure!! I wonder if he wants the marriage so I wont expose it to the people that he works with, which would be very damaging to him professionally.
> 
> Thanks for any words of wisdom


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Just to agree - yes - the lies hurt almost as much as the act.

How long ago did this come to light? Do you think he's come clean and is telling you the truth now?


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## Mo Simpson (Jun 3, 2009)

You don't trust your husband and rightly so. Whether the affair is really over or not, he surely can't just expect you to carry on as before without addressing his cheating and what's gone wrong in your marriage.

I think you need to give him a wake up call and get him to talk to you and get him to listen to you. You need to be heard and you need to see some action from him about how things are going to change.

Getting back the trust is going to be hard and will take time. He's betrayed you badly and you're hurt. Please look after yourself.


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