# My husband wanted a seperation, yet now says he has feelings for me and wants sex....



## ninkynooo (Aug 15, 2012)

Hi Everyone, i would really love some advice, im so confused. its a long story!!
My husband and i have been together for 22 yrs since we were 17, married for 17yrs. we have 3 children. we've had our ups and downs, but on the whole in love ( or so i thought) 
We moved in with his mum as shes disabled, to look after her yet after a year he told me he wasnt happy.....didnt love me as much anymore and moved out.
Hes been gone for 5 months now, coming and going ( just visits), it was very upsetting and stressfull, it would sometimes end in a row as i didnt want him to go. but that has calmed down now.
He told me a couple of weeks ago that he is falling for me again and he loves me, its everything i want to hear,, we have ended up having sex twice, which has been mindblowing. but inbetween the visits ( that are few and far between ) he picks and chooses when hes intouch. during the day he phones and texts alot but evenings, i hardly hear from him. 
People have told me not to be so soft ( i have lent him money as he struggles and help when i can) and am always there when he does call, in the hope he'll come back. They have also said hes having his cakeand eat it! basicly hes using me... i really dont want to believe that, but dont know how else to be!
I was thinking he was having a break down ( his dad died 2 yrs ago) but im not sure, My dad last month and the day after he dissapeared for 5 days, the children and i couldnt contact him. he took himself of for a "break".
Am i gullible...and being used? i love him to bits, but am i waiting for nothing? it would be nice to get a mans oppinion, 
He never askes about the children ( well very rarely....and never ever helps out) and does not speak to his mother at all when he comes over...its heart breaking.
Any advice would be very welcome
Thanks


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

He's playing the field.

You are his Plan B.



ninkynooo said:


> Hi Everyone, i would really love some advice, im so confused. its a long story!!
> My husband and i have been together for 22 yrs since we were 17, married for 17yrs. we have 3 children. we've had our ups and downs, but on the whole in love ( or so i thought)
> We moved in with his mum as shes disabled, to look after her yet after a year he told me he wasnt happy.....didnt love me as much anymore and moved out.
> Hes been gone for 5 months now, coming and going ( just visits), it was very upsetting and stressfull, it would sometimes end in a row as i didnt want him to go. but that has calmed down now.
> ...


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## dwaynewilliams (Feb 1, 2010)

If you like spending time with him, then go with it. Being with someone you live for a little while is better than being without them completely. I don't see how he is using you if you are having fun sharing time with him. If you don't want to give him money then don't. I think that you have a lot more control over this situation than you think.


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## ninkynooo (Aug 15, 2012)

Thanks, Dwayne, your post made me think....maybe i do have more control, than i think, 
Conrad..I have asked him many times if he has been with anyone...he tells me no.. i really want to believe him. i do think maybe he was tempted by someone... or the grass was greener. 
He said that he was honest about how he felt at the begining, he would be honest if he had been with someone ( my friends say hes lying)
its just confusing.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

ninkynooo said:


> Thanks, Dwayne, your post made me think....maybe i do have more control, than i think,
> Conrad..I have asked him many times if he has been with anyone...he tells me no.. i really want to believe him. i do think maybe he was tempted by someone... or the grass was greener.
> He said that he was honest about how he felt at the begining, he would be honest if he had been with someone ( my friends say hes lying)
> its just confusing.


Why don't you hear from him in the evenings?


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