# love her so much,what do i need to do



## rickgraves (Jul 11, 2010)

i have been married for 17 yrs, its all been good, but for about the last 6 months we been having some problems, i started to check up on her because she started going out more with her friends. i got worried so we went to get some help. it worked for about 7 mounts. then she had a class reunion and for six weeks i on her about dump stuff, i was wrong.now we get into fights over little things and she lied to me and i blow up. i called her a very bad name and that really sticking with her. she says shy still loves me and is still in love with me but she dose not know if she still wants to be married. i still love so much!!!

how do i get her over what i said, need help what do i do


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

You can't make her get over what you said. If you said something very hurtful to her, you'll have to accept that she's going to be hurt and upset for a while. There's really nothing you can do except to treat her better and hope that eventually she sees that the hurtful name was a one time thing and that as a rule, you treat her much better than that. But you also have to understand it's not just the hurtful name. It's also the getting on her about dumb stuff and checking up on her. Those things are all building up to make her feel this way towards you. She is probably just using the name as a concrete example of why she's upset with you. 

If you really want things to work, then you need to quit checking up on her, quit getting on her about dumb things, and treat her the way you used to. If you really feel she can't be trusted, then it might be better if you weren't together. But constantly checking up on her and getting on her about unimportant issues isn't going to do anything except drive her further away from you.


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

Honestly, I would get you and your wife into marriage counseling so you guys can get to the root of all of this. A third party can help you both see each others sides a little better and may even be able to give you some better communication tools to use with one another.


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## jhef83 (Jun 7, 2010)

I would spend about two weeks really kissing her butt. Like doing housework, write her a love letter etc. If you get no response then turn it off and see if she warms up.


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