# 12 years with kids in bed



## 4oneone (Jun 11, 2009)

Good day all 

Just would like to see if i am seeing right about our situation. Me and my wife have been dealing with a child in the bed for the last 12 years and the last child is my daughter. Now my sex drive has been surpressed because I can not bring myself to fantasize about sex with my daughter in the bed. From my side of the deal as a man I feel my sex drive is being psychologically suppressed because of this. The child in the bed is a issue we have disscussed she is now 8 years old and my wife had a rough childhood with her mother and father abandoning her so I have to try and work around the bond that is there. Just confer with me or give me a different view of my/our delilmma.


----------



## preso (May 1, 2009)

Why does she not sleep in her own bed?

Your wifes issues? I suggest your wife goes to counseling before you end up with a 40 year old daughter sleeping in bed with you.


----------



## 4oneone (Jun 11, 2009)

Been there done that we have talked and she can't seem to understand why I am not so willing half the time our bedroom door can swing at any given moment and with me being the initiator I have a over cautious concern about my daughter popping in at the wrong time.Lock the door and she will just stand at the door thats a drive killer for me and then my wife says we need to captilize on any free time we can get ie when kids go to school. But as the years pass I become less interested because I don't like being all hot and no action so I learn to not think about sex with my wife. She thinks I do not desire here anymore and thats not the case. I have a little daughter and I am not about to expose her to that side of Love yet/ever. So here I sit just waiting for her to grow out of our bed.


----------



## preso (May 1, 2009)

Go out and buy your daughter he own bed
and put it in her own room.

You can start there.

be the leader, the father, the man and demand the child gets her own private space. Stop letting your wifes issues ruin your daughter and your life and kick you out of your bed.


----------



## Blonddeee (Dec 17, 2008)

Try making her bed exciting... new sheets or maybe a sleepover with her friends... I had a tent on my bed when I was little... that was fun. Your wife has to be on board too... maybe have "family" night on Tuesdays or something where your daughter can sleep in there, but other nights she sleeps in her bed. When did your other kids start sleeping in their own beds? 
I used to sneak into my parents room when I was young, but I had monsters in my room... so totally different situation


----------



## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

preso said:


> Go out and buy your daughter he own bed
> and put it in her own room.
> 
> You can start there.
> ...


:iagree:

You owe it to your daughter to insist on a course of separating her from your bed.

You owe it to yourself and your wife to reclaim the marital bed.

This situation has transpired for far too long. 

It will take resolve and effort to make this happen.

You may need to enlist the help of family counselor to achieve this.

AND, IMPORTANTLY, do not link this strictly to a sexual context with your wife. Focus on the health of your child, her development as a normal kid.

Yes, yes, there is a sexual context. But do it in steps.


----------



## 4oneone (Jun 11, 2009)

Thanks all for the input. She does have an interesting bedroom already and very fun sheets her room has a Disney theme. As far as me demanding it well here is my delimma I work shift work,meaning 7 days out of the month I work graveyard shift. This is were it all falls apart. You can imagine me demanding and then once gone on graveyard shift poof back in the bed. I agree wife needs to be on board but it doesn't seem to click. Like I said I can not have strong feelings in my head while my daughter is in the bed between me and my wife. It just ain't right and it zaps my drive to even think I could be that close to my daughter with that kind of mindset.

over time I began to notice I really don't care no more in order to keep the peace. Well my wife says I don't desire her WTF I have my 8 year old daughter in the bed with us which makes our bed a no go zone I want our bed to be were we as adults can do whatever we want. I don't want to be thinking about my daughter when I am in my bed unless there is an emergency. This situation will continue until she gets out and I hope by then I am still willing because I am shutting down for the cause.


----------



## Ingrid (Aug 12, 2009)

Similar situation but different. Son in bed, and he's autistic. We've tried putting him in his own bed and he wakes up in the middle of the night and climbs into our bed. Has hugely dampened all sexual interest but to be honest there are other issues between me and my hubby so now son is more an "excuse."


----------



## preso (May 1, 2009)

4oneone said:


> Thanks all for the input. She does have an interesting bedroom already and very fun sheets her room has a Disney theme. As far as me demanding it well here is my delimma I work shift work,meaning 7 days out of the month I work graveyard shift. This is were it all falls apart. QUOTE]
> 
> 
> 
> ...


----------



## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

At some age - your child may look back and ask herself - WHAT THE HELL WERE MY PARENTS THINKING. 

Imagine this. At some future point you divorce. Your grown child is going to wonder if she is the cause. By then she will understand what most married adults do in bed, and will wonder if her presence in your bed disrupted your intimacy and eventually your marriage. 

How could you possibly risk having your child "wear" that guilt. 

Put your child in her bed where she belongs - and start reaching out to each other.


----------



## preso (May 1, 2009)

It is true this is not healthy for the child. Your wife should be thinking of the child and not her needs.


----------



## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

Omg having kids barging in is a downer, and if it's encouraged by the wife I'd be going nuts. How the heck have you put up with this for so long?

Agree with MEM11363 above.

Maybe change the locks on the bedroom door, and YOU keep the key


----------



## Mommybean (Jan 22, 2009)

She is too old to be sleeping in your bed...PERIOD. Your wife is now using this for HER comfort, for when you are not there, and its not right. My youngest slept in our bed for the first 7 months of his life, and then he moved to his crib in his room. My oldest went thru about a year where he would come in to our room in the middle of the night and sleep, then he started bringing his little bro with him...and it just got to be TOO crowded. We know why my oldest started sleeping with us; we left him with his grandparents for several days and he quite honestly thought we abandoned him and weren't going to come back. But, he is over it now, thank goodness. They both know they can come in if something scares them, but other than that now, if they wake up and come in, we take them back to bed, kiss them and tell them we love them. 

It doesn't sound like your daughter has any reason to sleep there other than conditioning....and it's time for your wife to realize that she is doing more harm than good, for everyone!


----------



## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

Buy a lock.

Install it on your bedroom door.

If daughter comes knocking, tell her to go back to her bed.


----------



## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Mommybean said:


> She is too old to be sleeping in your bed...PERIOD.


BINGO!! There is no reason for a child to be sleeping in the parents’ bed at that age other that rare bad dream scenario, and at that she should be taken back to her bed when she is sleepy again. She is old enough to understand boundaries and it’s time to set them. Just like wearing her seatbelt in the car, it is just the way it is, non negotiable. IMHO staying in the parental bed at this age will do more harm than good. Shift your focus from not getting enough sex to doing what’s right for the child. For this to succeed however you and your wife will need to present a united front.


----------



## srena200 (Jul 13, 2009)

Blonddeee said:


> Try making her bed exciting... new sheets or maybe a sleepover with her friends...
> 
> Great idea - yea get that kid out of the bed - that is not healthy for either you parents or the child.


----------



## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Sometimes showing the absurdity of a situation can open someone's eyes.

Tell her that you now see the wisdom of the whole family sleeping in the same bed. 

Invite your mom to join in. Have her come over, turn on her favorite church show and start crocheting on her corner of the bed.

If your wife objects, just tell her a family shows it's love by all sleeping in the bed.

If she still objects, ask her if maybe we're ALL mistaken about this bedsharing.


----------



## 4oneone (Jun 11, 2009)

*Re: 13 years with kids in bed*

Four months later no change dispite the effort put forth getting close to making the final call on this deal.


----------



## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

All I can say is that as a man, having children in the bed as a regular thing is completely intolerable. I'm married to have a sexual relationship with my wife, kids in the bed make that impossible. Therefore, there's no point being married.

Frame the ultimatum carefully, and make the steps towards divorce measured and clearly explained. As the consequences come into view more clearly, she may yet comply. But it seems a low probablity.


----------



## poets't heart (Jan 1, 2010)

ok I have another point of view here.

First of all, a litle background. My wife is Thai. In Thai culture, as in many societies, co-sleeping is the mainstream.

I admit that I had the american mindset at first...kids need to be in their own room. As many of you have said.

After discussion though, I did see my wife's point. Lock the doors on your kids and when they get older they will lock the doors on you.

Yes, I have gone down the road of looking for EA and PA. I did not actually cross that line, but admittedly, I was ready to. Did the family bed play a part?--maybe.

I have a friend, Latino, who also co-sleeps. He tells me how wonderful it is to cuddle his children to sleep. The girls' rooms are beuatifully made up, but they do not sleep there. He seems to have a great relationship with his wife.

50% of american marriages end in divorce, and we typically do not co-sleep.

Do a survey of many american's and you will find people estranged from siblings, estranged from parents. This is unheard of in Thailand.

Recently things have improved in my marriage somewhat. Sex is nightly. We sneak off to another room or we get creative. The only downside is that I am so tired now.

I would like to refer you to Dr. Sears work on atachment parenting. There are some longitudinal studies about the benefits.

Ferber came out and apologized. He stated that he did not intend for kids to be left to cry alone. There may have been harm there.

All I am saying here is not to judge to harshly. Do what feels right for your family. One day my daughter and son will say--"I want my own room". 

These are just thoughts from another point of view.


----------



## BigBadWolf (Nov 30, 2009)

*Re: 13 years with kids in bed*



4oneone said:


> Four months later no change dispite the effort put forth getting close to making the final call on this deal.


You are having much bigger issues than this child.

The problem here is not the child, it is your resentment to your woman. 

You are resenting your woman for putting the child in the bed and keeping her there killing the sex opportunity. 

Instead of resenting your woman for this, you should have been the man to insist this was corrected years ago. Your wife may not even realize this outright, but inside her she is feeling if she was important enough to you, you would have been the man enough to have fixed this.

Now your woman is thinking you are not attracted to her, and she is right. This is further motivating her to NOT remove the child, because the child is a good excuse not to confront the real issue.

To fix this, be the man to kill the resentment in yourself to your woman by doing what you need to do, that is insist the child is put properly in her own sleeping space.

When you do this, your woman will realize she is important enough to you for your to stand and be the man, and this will light a blazing fire of attraction toward you. 

I wish you well.


----------



## 4oneone (Jun 11, 2009)

Thanks all for the responses it helps me to gain better insite to my marriage. Still in the bed but got super creative on the relationship.My family is more important than my sex drive.

Please continue the comments they really help Thanks


----------



## RunnerGirl (Feb 20, 2010)

poets't heart said:


> ok I have another point of view here.
> 
> First of all, a litle background. My wife is Thai. In Thai culture, as in many societies, co-sleeping is the mainstream.
> 
> ...


I am an attachment parent and co-sleep and think it's wonderful and that the studies really support the long term benefits despite the typical American ideal.... but 8 years old seems old to still be in the bed. What age did the older children leave the bed? It is good to make sure that this is being done for the children's benefit not the parent's, once it's the parent's, time to switch it.


Now with cosleeping.. I think it's more important to be creative... other rooms, etc... but that's harder with an 8 year old than a one year old! Do you guys have a weekly date night? You should try... babysitters should be pretty easy to come by (and vet first of course) at that age.


----------



## Brettscout (Jan 19, 2010)

Ive known people that have had up to 2 of thier kids in their bed at night. Ive never understood this (exception being that there are not enough beds). This sort of thing doesnt really do the kid any favors (creates dependency) and stiffles the bedroom activity for the couple. 

If I were you....id say its time to "ween" this behavior now


and to those that say that "co-sleeping strengthens the bondwith the child for life"....well it may...but if thats what you need to strengthen the bond with your child...then you may want to evaluate what sort of parenting you do when they are awake.

other cultures in the world (non US) do this because...1) there are not enough rooms/beds in a household 2) people tend to live as extended families due to economic purposes/cultural social structure 3) elder generations (parents/grandparents) need to create that "bond of dependency" because it is expected that the younger/working generation will care for the elder ones (that may be where the idea of "creating that bond via co-sleeping" comes from)


----------



## 4oneone (Jun 11, 2009)

*Re: 14 years with kids in bed*

oh well and it still goes on


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

My wife resolutely refused to change this kind of behavior as well with our youngest who slept in the bed till he was 9. I simply slept elsewhere. Since she announced when he was born she would never have sex again it was no loss either way. My son moved back to his room on his own. He's the most well adjusted of all his sibs fwiw.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

Obviously you can't sleep in the same bed as your daugther. You're just a phone call away from a lifetime of jail.


----------



## 4oneone (Jun 11, 2009)

Well the story goes on and now I feel that the only way to control this problem is to control myself. So I find ways to program myself to not think about sex or even closeness because of the already stressed issues I have in everyday living. My sex drive is down to zero I have no problems with it anymore. I have effectively shutdown my libido to presevre my sanity. Trying to sleep in a bed with a now 10 year old is crazy the other bedroom is where I houch at. My SO wonders why I don't take advantage of every available moment to engage and it i because I have shutdown and learned to function on a different level. I don't need a sex drive around mr daughter I can't have a sex drive around my daughter that's not thinkable.

We love each other and been together for 26 years sooooo I guess this will work its way out like all the challenges we've lived through.


----------



## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Atholk said:


> All I can say is that as a man, having children in the bed as a regular thing is completely intolerable. I'm married to have a sexual relationship with my wife, kids in the bed make that impossible. Therefore, there's no point being married.
> 
> Frame the ultimatum carefully, and make the steps towards divorce measured and clearly explained. As the consequences come into view more clearly, she may yet comply. But it seems a low probablity.


:iagree::iagree::iagree:


----------



## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

4oneone said:


> Well the story goes on and now I feel that the only way to control this problem is to control myself. So I find ways to program myself to not think about sex or even closeness because of the already stressed issues I have in everyday living. My sex drive is down to zero I have no problems with it anymore. I have effectively shutdown my libido to presevre my sanity. Trying to sleep in a bed with a now 10 year old is crazy the other bedroom is where I houch at. My SO wonders why I don't take advantage of every available moment to engage and it i because I have shutdown and learned to function on a different level. I don't need a sex drive around mr daughter I can't have a sex drive around my daughter that's not thinkable.
> 
> We love each other and been together for 26 years sooooo I guess this will work its way out like all the challenges we've lived through.


Why you have put up with this is beyond me. It actually will impact the sex lives of your children in a negative way later on in life.

You have lost out on half of your marriage. UFB. 

You are supposed to be making mad passionate love to your wife.

You are supposed to be setting an example for your children on a what a good marriage is about. They are learning very bad things from this. They will have trouble in their future relationships. In my opinion this is actually a subtle form of child abuse. It is certainly spousal abuse. Your wife has issues for insisting on this and you have issues for allowing it. You were supposed to man up and take charge of your marital bed. Now you should indeed be showing affection and a sexual desire for your wife in front of your children. I agree you should not be banging your wife with the ten year old in your bed. That is deviant behavior and child abuse in my opinion.

Ultimately this is on you for not taking a stand and telling her this was unacceptable. An Alpha male would not be disrespected in this way. He would be the father of his children and the lover of his wife.

It will be a real insult to find out that because you would not man up and take charge and not have a real sexual relationship with your wife that she ends up in an affair with another man. I would be worried about that since you are not providing that with your wife.


----------



## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

michzz said:


> Sometimes showing the absurdity of a situation can open someone's eyes.
> 
> Tell her that you now see the wisdom of the whole family sleeping in the same bed.
> 
> ...


:smthumbup:

Yes, good point.


----------



## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

4oneone said:


> Thanks all for the responses it helps me to gain better insite to my marriage. Still in the bed but got super creative on the relationship.My family is more important than my sex drive.
> 
> Please continue the comments they really help Thanks


Yes, take care of your family. There are plenty of other men who can satisfy your wife while you take care of your family. Your role is as father and husband. She can get a lover any where. Even if she does not stray, you have lost out on a primary part of your marriage. Again I think this is casuing more harm to your children. They will have trouble being independent and having healthy sex lives and will have greater difficulty when married.


----------



## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Congratulations you have now officially turned your marriage into a sexless one and your wife now feels like you are no longer sexually attracted to her. Guess what? Now she's a prime candidate to having an affair with a man who will give her all the passionate sex she can handle. And all because you could not muster the courage to send your kid to sleep in her own bedroom. Hope your happy.


----------



## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

I can't believe you have capitulated to what I see as a perversion of the parent child and male-female marital relationship. To me, this is as unhealthy a dynamic for your child as was you wife's parents abandoning her. . 

I don't even know what to say about you neutering yourself. It must have been extreamly painful. Luckily it is not fatal nor a permanent. 

. This is very difficult for you I know and that is why you are paralyzed. You are stuck between the preverbal rock and a couple of 3 hard places - your love for your wife, love and responsibility for your children and a painful loneliness and lack of sexual intimacy. Among the saddest of these hard places is that you don't love yourself enough.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## mkl (Jul 9, 2011)

Kiddos sleeping in the parent’s bed is bad news. Been there done that!!! We have an 8 and 5 year old and they come in most mornings to snuggle. But, they dang sure fall asleep in their beds. 

My son slept with us for the first 5+ years of his life. This didn’t help my marriage one bit. By the time my husband and I had our bed back he felt like a stranger to me. How sad is that. Thankfully we got the kids out of the bed and now we fall asleep most nights holding each other. I hate that that happened to us. Of course we had our fair share of other issues too, but that didn’t help the situation. 

It was as much a habit for me having the kids there as it was for the children. It takes some getting use to but both your wife and daughter can make the separation.


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

His wife obviously got married solely to have babies.Now his job in that venue is complete. She no longer needs nor wants him. That will not change.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## mkl (Jul 9, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> His wife obviously got married solely to have babies.Now his job in that venue is complete. She no longer needs nor wants him. That will not change.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Well.... That seems a bit harsh to say this when you obviously don't know him or his wife. 

I hardly doubt that she married him just to make babies.

It's easy for a mother to put the needs for her children ahead of the marraige, which is dangerous. But, it happens. It can be fixed though...


----------



## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

4oneone said:


> Well the story goes on and now I feel that the only way to control this problem is to control myself. So I find ways to program myself to not think about sex or even closeness because of the already stressed issues I have in everyday living. My sex drive is down to zero I have no problems with it anymore. I have effectively shutdown my libido to presevre my sanity. Trying to sleep in a bed with a now 10 year old is crazy the other bedroom is where I houch at. My SO wonders why I don't take advantage of every available moment to engage and it i because I have shutdown and learned to function on a different level. I don't need a sex drive around mr daughter I can't have a sex drive around my daughter that's not thinkable.
> 
> We love each other and been together for 26 years sooooo I guess this will work its way out like all the challenges we've lived through.


Why don't you take advantage of the creative ways to have sex, especially if your SO is wondering about it? Perhaps she is missing the sex too?

And, what exactly is the plan to get your daughter out of your marriage bed, or isn't there one?

Are you and your SO willing to get outside help for this?

I think that it is unhealthy for a child the age of your daughter to still be sleeping with a parent. It could be that now it's not just you and your SO that need help, but your daughter as well. Here's a book to read, but I would encourage for the health and well-being of your child, to consider seeking out professional help if all other avenues have failed to resolve this: Amazon.com: Break the Co-Sleeping Habit: How to Set Bedtime Boundaries - and Raise a Secure, Happy, Well-Adjusted Child: Valerie Levine: Books

Best wishes.


----------



## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

mkl said:


> It's easy for a mother to put the needs for her children ahead of the marraige, which is dangerous. But, it happens. It can be fixed though...


It can't always be fixed. Some women will gladly sacrifice their marriages upon the altar of motherhood.

There are a few possibilities in this situation. The first is as RLD describes. The OP's wife is intentionally sabotaging their sex life because she doesn't want sex any more. The only options in that case are to accept it, divorce, or try to address your wife's issues with you in order to increase her attraction to you.

The second is that the wife wants sex, but doesn't understand how children in the bed sabotage that. The options in that case are to accept it, divorce, or get the kid out of the bed.

The third is that the wife wants sex, but is consciously or unconsciously sabotaging their sex life as a fitness test to see whether the OP is man enough to assert himself and remove the obstacle to sex. The options in that case are to accept no sex, divorce, or get the kid out of the bed.

It seems to me that the second or third scenarios are most likely. The OP has said his wife complains of too little sex. By the way, OP, you should take complaints of too little sex from women very seriously. It's a big red flag for trouble in your marriage. It would be really sad to see you on the Coping with Infidelity board complaining about catching your wife in bed with another man. I bet she would move the kid out for some afternoon delight with her boyfriend.

In either the second or third scenarios, the best solution is to remove the kid from the marital bed. The saying that the marital bed is only big enough for two is meant to be a metaphor. It obviously goes without saying that the marital bed should be inhabited literally by only the husband and wife. It is sad that your wife isn't willing to help you salvage your sex life. That doesn't mean it can't be salvaged, however. It just means you will have to do the work.

Saying that you work the night shift one or two nights a week is a poor excuse. Even if your child sleeps in your bed on those nights, that leaves 5 or 6 nights a week that you could be enjoying your wife's company without an audience.

Man up.


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

She's not an idiot. She knows what she's insisting on.


----------



## JRiZZY (Aug 11, 2011)

Your daughter is definitely too old to be sleeping in the bed with you. Put her in her own bed in her own bedroom, and tell her she is not allowed to sit outside your bedroom door. She can knock, and if told she is not allowed to come in, she must go back to her bedroom!!!


----------



## 4oneone (Jun 11, 2009)

Yes alot of you you all say is true but I have a feeling that tells me to guard the Love we have instead of fighting for the love I want. We are in the deal together and she knows this the time shall come when my daughter will leave and I will have won the issue and not lost my wife.

As far as the other man syndrome well we take high regard to that stuff we have been down that road and we don't think that this is an issue. When the love of your life is your husband and your wife those issues are of no interest, sacrifice all for us.


----------



## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

So what was the point to your original post? Virtually everyone has said that your situation is damaging to your relationship with your wife, your marriage, and your daughter. Yet you're going ton continue down that path. If you're not going to listen to the advice offered, why ask in the first place?

Personally, I think you're just taking the cowardly non-confrontational path, for whatever reason. Most likely because you're scared to make waves in your marriage. So you're willing to sacrifice your happiness and your daughter's emotional growth so you don't have to confront your wife.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## AniversaryFight (Mar 7, 2011)

You are only guarding your love to your wife and stop guarding your mariage which makes your wife keep on loosing her love and attraction for you, in that case time will come when she will ask divorce from you. No matter what your wife say to encourage you to allow your child to sleep with you on bed, she honestly know that your marriage will be over!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

4oneone said:


> As far as the other man syndrome well we take high regard to that stuff we have been down that road and we don't think that this is an issue. When the love of your life is your husband and your wife those issues are of no interest, sacrifice all for us.


FYI, there are married women out there, my ex-wife being one of them, who have had sex with other men and yet still insist that their husbands are the love of their lives. Consider yourself warned.


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Again though, his wife didn't accidentally blithely ignorantly take this course of action. This what she chose to do and enforce it. Most people shouldn't have to be smacked up the head to be reminded of things like this. Or if they do, then you're married to a retarded girl. 

"Oh please oh please oh pleeeeze act normal honey!"

Really? That's HIS problem?


----------



## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

4oneone said:


> Yes alot of you you all say is true but I have a feeling that tells me to guard the Love we have instead of fighting for the love I want.


That's fair. However, if you don't fight for yourself, nobody else will.



4oneone said:


> We are in the deal together and she knows this the time shall come when my daughter will leave and I will have won the issue and not lost my wife.


That is not a given. What I can say is that a sexless marriage is a vulnerable marriage. You may think that your marriage is rock solid, but you should check out the Coping With Infidelity board to see story after story of men who were caught unaware by their wives' affairs.



4oneone said:


> As far as the other man syndrome well we take high regard to that stuff we have been down that road and we don't think that this is an issue. When the love of your life is your husband and your wife those issues are of no interest, sacrifice all for us.


You are really in a fog here. You are unhappy. Your wife is unhappy (she has told you so). You want sex. Your wife wants sex. However, you are either too lazy or too afraid to give your wife what she has asked you for.

You have been warned. Men who ignore their wives' pleas usually don't end up happy men. I'm sure there are other men out there who will be more than happy to sex your wife up.


----------



## Lazarus (Jan 17, 2011)

Both of you could lose your daughter if school (or authorities) learn that your near puberty daughter sleeps in bed with mom and dad!


----------



## nada (Aug 20, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> Since she announced when he was born she would never have sex again it was no loss either way.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


WTF....No sex??? Is this possible, or was she kidding?

Nada


----------



## nada (Aug 20, 2011)

morituri said:


> FYI, there are married women out there, my ex-wife being one of them, who have had sex with other men and yet still insist that their husbands are the love of their lives. Consider yourself warned.


There is even a recipe for this : "How to score with married women". I suggest you brows through it.

Best wishes
Nada


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

nada said:


> WTF....No sex??? Is this possible, or was she kidding?
> 
> Nada


Nope not kidding. And she's followed through since 1993 which was two years after he was born.


----------



## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

4oneone said:


> Been there done that we have talked and she can't seem to understand why I am not so willing half the time our bedroom door can swing at any given moment and with me being the initiator I have a over cautious concern about my daughter popping in at the wrong time.Lock the door and she will just stand at the door thats a drive killer for me and then my wife says we need to captilize on any free time we can get ie when kids go to school. But as the years pass I become less interested because I don't like being all hot and no action so I learn to not think about sex with my wife. She thinks I do not desire here anymore and thats not the case. I have a little daughter and I am not about to expose her to that side of Love yet/ever. So here I sit just waiting for her to grow out of our bed.


Our daughter "grew out of our bed" when she was 5 months old. She then went to sleep in her own room, in her own crib. She is now 5 years old and still sleeps in her own bed (except when she's sick or a storm out) and goes to bed every night on a schedule. You have to start this routine out of the womb, or they'll be in YOUR bed forever. 

One thing to try is when they go to sleep, you and the wife sneak off to THEIR bed.......and sleep there. :rofl:


----------



## kekel1123 (Aug 17, 2011)

I think its a cultural thing as well. Were both asians too. And sometimes I think wife uses our kid (daughter aged 8) as a contraceptive method.lol!


----------



## 4oneone (Jun 11, 2009)

Hello Everybody 

Well daughter is out of the bed and as I predic ked (pun intended) the sex is thru the roof. We are sweating it out every night and day. All kind of trick [email protected]#king is going on the stories I can tell now ......... All the suggestion about another man or woman were not close to how this turned out. The maturity of our relationship has taught us good things are worth waiting for and dang I got to say my wife and I have broken some all time records in the bedroom. 

We weathered the storm and now we are living in sexual heaven. My wife even wants to try the taboo stuff she says we been locked up so long she don't give and damn where I put it "on her thats is" and I am putting it every where i'll have to go the the other sections to write about our new found freedom in the bedroom.


to be continued...............


----------



## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

Okay what is the big deal with your daughter seeing you make love to your wife. It would be one thing if you did it in front of her. But if she opens the door "mommy and daddy were tickling each other " will more than likely suffice to resolve any issues. Also if she is in the bed asleep then take your wife into another room, couch, whatever and make her evening. You are the man, take charge, the bed is not the only place to make love. 
Plus when your daughter is 18 you will have a funny story to tell. hey sweetie remember when your mom and I were tickling. We we were not tickling. I don't understand why sex between a mother and father is so damaging. If anything it will lend more credence when you tell your child you should save yourself for marriage. Because if you do it is great. I have a two year old that sleeps in the bed with my wife and I. So If I feel frisky I take out a blanket put it on the floor and my sleeping child is not the wiser. Couches make really good alternates to the bed.

looked at this thread yesterday and it just now updated. Congrats.


----------



## 4oneone (Jun 11, 2009)

Quick response to going to other room back then we had four kids ages are spread out 11,16,21,25 as you can see the last 10 years grown kids in and out of the house kinda hard to go to other areas of the house. We would do an over nighter every month or so to keep up but when the mood hit at home it was a swing and a miss cause one of the four would be moving around now the the two oldest have moved out it is much easier to go downstairs or the basement. It has been a sexual trying experience to say the least. The daughter in the bed was the icing on the cake of trying to be intimate at home.

Moved the kids upstairs and now it's All Good


----------



## Drover (Jun 11, 2012)

We have an 8 year old daughter that climbed into our bed during the night about 4-5 nights a week. Our kids had also been coming in our bedroom to "hang out" with their mom constantly, watch TV, etc. 

I really think it was a factor affecting our sex life. I think W couldn't relax knowing a kid might come in. And sex in the bedroom was feeling like sex in a public place to her, not an intimate place for us.

I recently put my foot down and said no more. No coming in w/o knocking. No crawling in during the night. No hanging out to be with mom or watch TV. It's our bedroom, not the family room.


----------



## 4oneone (Jun 11, 2009)

As long as mama supports your call and upholds it too you two should do fine take it from me I dropped the hammer several times and almost lost the whole family cause mama could not understand the fact of banning kids from the bedroom. Her behind got hot and bothered enough and finally got the message "KEEP OUT" When the mood hit I got tired of going to a Hotel for an over nighter by the time you did all that the mood is gone it is so much better when you can touch and go at it right then an there.


----------

