# My wife left me not sure what to think



## WKrenning (Nov 26, 2012)

OK I am on my cell phone so I'm going to make this short and simple. I posted here about 2 years ago. Back in Nov of 2012 my wife told me she was leaving me. She never moved out and I was able to win her back but the changes I made weren't permanent I only changed in the ways she wanted for a year or so. So this time it's over the same issues except I also got caught lying. I am an amateur bodybuilder and used steroids. She told me last time if I ever used them again she said she'd leave a divorce me. Well I am a complete idiot and I did. She said that was the last straw. I ended up telling her about it and didn't think it would be a big deal because I wasn't acting any different. A on she told me she was leaving and began packing her things. I told her I wanted her ring back because it was my grandmother's. She left the following morning. Since then we haven't had much contact except when it's about our son. We have a 3 year old. I am currently doing everything I can to win my wife back. I'm seeing a counselor and changing myself I am just having such a difficult time. She has been gone for 10 days. She only took all of her personal affects, she left a lot of things like her desk, chair, her knick knacks on her desk. Our bed is her bed as we put mine in the spare bedroom when she moved in. She left her table and chairs and a few other things like a suitcase. So here are my negative signs of things that are telling me it won't work out, she has texted me numerous times and she says things like, you need accept the reality of this, you need to understand I'm done, I have no regrets about leaving, I'm never coming back. She also took half of our savings account and told me to take the other half so she can close it. Also, took the modem and canceled our Internet since it was in her name, texts me about finding new car insurance so we can can ours, switching all my bills to be paid from my own account, and swith my paycheck to my own account so our joint can be closed. 

OK so the positive signs I have that it might work, she didn't pack all her things and has been here numerous times since then and hasn't takin any of it including her sewing machine. Her ring, I asked for it twice because it was my grandmother's so it's sentimental to me. She hasn't brought it or even mentioned it since. I haven't brought it up because I want to save this and want her to keep it as a reminder. Since the day she left she has filed for or even mentioned the word divorce to me. She still has her garage door opener and house keys and whenever she comes over to drop off or pick up our son she just opens the garage door and walks right in. 

In my opinion and opinions from a lot of people I work with she's days all of those hurtful things to push my buttons so that I blow up at her which is what she's expecting giving her permission to file cause she wants it and therefore I want it if I reacted like that and she's doing it to hurt me. To make me feel the pain she had felt. I think it's possible but I need to change a lot. I am seeing a counselor and going to church and doing a lot of healing. I stopped the steroids and I am clean. I've told her all of this but she doesn't care. She says it's too late. But she said all that last time. Can I do this? Is it even possible?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

So besides being an idiot, why did you do steroids again,knowing how she feels about them? 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

she doesn't have to give you that ring back you know and you're an idiot I keep asking for it. 

even more so because you seem to want her back. 

book she did exactly what she said she was going to do and she did it without batting an eyelash. She's gone face it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WKrenning (Nov 26, 2012)

Wow wasn't expecting those responses. No she left, the ring is my family's so she should be returning it. Plus I stopped asking for it I asked for it out of anger the first time. 

I did them again because I didn't think they affected much so I didn't think it was a big deal.


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## WKrenning (Nov 26, 2012)

I need help winning her back. I need positive input I don't need beat down anymore. I love that women more than anything.


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## lancaster (Dec 2, 2013)

WKrenning said:


> I need help winning her back. I need positive input I don't need beat down anymore. I love that women more than anything.


Love is an action word, not just a feeling of butterflies in your stomach. If you loved her your actions would have demonstrated so. 

If you love her you will respect her wishes going forward. Listen to what she says whether you like it or not and respect what she says.

You gave her the ring therefore it is NOT yours and it no longer belongs to your family, it is her ring.


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## WKrenning (Nov 26, 2012)

There was a lot of things about marriage and love I didn't know until know. I know what I need to do and am prepared to take the action necessary to fix it. I do respect her wishes as I let her do her own thing the only thing I'm trying to do is change myself for myself in hopes she sees it and wants to reconcile. I agree about the ring as I said I said it cause I was angry. But, she agreed to give it back. Plus it doesn't mean anything to her now of she plans on ending it. But it might still mean something to her hence why she's keeping it.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

lancaster said:


> You gave her the ring therefore it is NOT yours and it no longer belongs to your family, it is her ring.



Actually that's not true in a legal sense. It would be true if it was an engagement ring. But depending on the state, a wedding ring could very well be community property and subject to property distribution like any other marital asset.


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## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

I believe she thinks you're hurt and desperate and will say anything to win her back if you can, just like you did before. Fool me once... 

She can sell the ring to pay for the things she didn't take when she left -- doing exactly what she said she would do, if you didn't do exactly what you said you would do. So don't be surprised if she says keep her things like her desk and bed. 

You have the right attitude, here at least, but my guess is it's too little too late. You have to realize you say you love her more than anything, but what you've shown says differently. It says you don't know what love is, when you think "it's no big deal" after SHE has told you in no uncertain terms "if you do it again I am leaving". What she felt wasn't importsnt enough to you, plain and simple.

NOW, you're shocked awake, had an epiphany, and she is supposed to believe you. I don't know you and you've done nothing to me, but I don't believe you. Why should she? 

Figure out the answer to that and you can figure out what to say to her to find out if there's any chance in hell she returns.


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

Why was she against you taking steroids? Was there domestic abuse or anger issues associated with your use of steroids before?

She's definitely gone btw. You really do need to accept the reality of this. She's had this all planned in her head for a long time.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

Steroids can cause health issues but based on what he said he was probably aggressive.


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## gulfwarvet (Jan 7, 2013)

I'm thinking about the only thing you can do is give her a heart felt apology and leave it at that.
Don't call her, text her, etc.-DO NOT APPEAR NEEDY, that is very unattractive and will only push her away.
Be ok with the breakup.
I'm not a believer in winning people back either they really start to miss you and return or the feelings aren't there anymore.
You are an idiot for doing steroids.:iagree:


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