# What is the verbal equivalent of an eye roll?



## Joe Cool (Feb 24, 2015)

What is the verbal equivalent of an eye roll?

For the record, I find them obnoxious expressions of disdain under all circumstances and a complete turnoff that causes a significant loss of respect for the user.

After having discussed this IRL, many are not even aware they do it. 

I also find it a female habit and find men that do it seeming feminine in other ways also. 

I suppose this post will get an eye roll. I tell my daughter using your communication skills is far superior and more accurate. 

Fair? Unfair? Agree> Disagree? Please discuss

For the jokers that wont be able to resist, I forgive you but this is a serious question at least for me.

Thanks for the input


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## yeah_right (Oct 23, 2013)

The long, heavy sigh...the more air expelled, the better

"Whatever"

"Fine"


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

A long, drawn out, "ooooookaaaaay."

It's like saying to me, "Okay, dummy."


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Joe, are you asking what is the exact translation, or you asking what is the right, productive, communication enhancing thing that could be said?

That would be "I feel that communication has failed between us and I'm unable to accept your point of view." Now if you can get your teen to say that . . . You might have a chance to move forward.


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## yeah_right (Oct 23, 2013)

I figured he was looking for examples to recognize when they happen in real life.

What is the male equivalent? Excusing themselves to take a dump, or nodding and saying "Uh huh" while looking at the phone or tv?


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## Flying_Dutchman (Oct 29, 2014)

"oh, gawd. You're SUCH an àss."

Yep, they're very dismissive.

Disrespectful? Well, if you're getting them from women who've been gently rebuffing your advances, for example,, it could be a reaction to disrespect. Depends on the circumstances or context.

Definitely dismissive though.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Joe Cool (Feb 24, 2015)

Mr. Nail said:


> Joe, are you asking what is the exact translation, or you asking what is the right, productive, communication enhancing thing that could be said?
> 
> That would be "I feel that communication has failed between us and I'm unable to accept your point of view." Now if you can get your teen to say that . . . You might have a chance to move forward.


Its all helpful. My wife and I have had a running joke for years about two other similar insults

1. The word "Actually..." meaning "Your dumb. Im superior. Thank the heavens I am hear to save your stupid azz from hurting yourself with your own epic dumbness"

2. The word "Whatever..." meaning I have no idea how to address your deluding yourself that thoroughly so I will just let you continue as I am bored with the whole prospect of participating in your stupid delusion"


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

I think the verbal equivalent of an eye roll is: "You're stupid!" or "That's stupid!" 

At least that's how it feels to me... Dismissive and disrespectful at the same time.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Well I am guilty of eye rolls myself on occasion.. I try to not use them on this forum as I know how disrespectful they come off.. 

They are definitely slapping you with a >>  "You are an idiot, and I've had it up to here with You!"  type message...frustration leading to "I give up!" with some seething... that's how I take it..

My H never does it.. I just asked him.. he replied...."That's a woman thing"..


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## Joe Cool (Feb 24, 2015)

SimplyAmorous said:


> That's a woman thing


Almost exclusively but I have seen a few men do it also. 

My respect for them goes down drastically. 

Get some balls and say what's on your mind shoots thru my skull like a lightning bolt when I see what seems like a very feminine oddity for a man to me


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

did you ever notice that the people who complain about other people being passive aggressive are themselves monumental passive aggressives?


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

I'm sure were not here to discuss how masculine it is, but I have been known to say "what~ever".
I'm now more likely to say That's nice, but I'm not going to believe it. Which is also incredibly rude and dismissive, But you just can't believe everything a telemarketer tells you.
MN


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*In addition to the patented "eye-roll," my rich, skanky XW always verbalized, "Oh, God!" Or "I told you that!"

Made me totally sick to my stomach!*


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## Cobalt (Nov 16, 2014)

"jesus effin christ..." is probably my go to verbal eyeroll


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

Cobalt said:


> "jesus effin christ..." is probably my go to verbal eyeroll


Too girly


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## EnigmaGirl (Feb 7, 2015)

I think its the groan that Lurch from the Adam's family makes.


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

There goes Lurch.


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## Midlifeturmoil (Dec 30, 2013)

Seriously?


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## ocotillo (Oct 17, 2011)

"That's too stupid for words"


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

The perennial Southern favorite: "Bless your heart..."


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

I once read something that said eyerolls are a good predictor of divorce!


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## Ribbit (Feb 2, 2015)

I tried desperately to talk to my now ex-wife back when we were married when she started rolling her eyes at everything I would say. 

I told her it was extremely condescending, and a very bad sign for the marriage. That we needed to talk about why she was doing it so much. 

She of course denied that it was an issue, or that she was really doing it that often.

It was definitely an indicator of a major problem. 

(In addition to the obvious indicator of the problems with the marriage, it was an indicator of her inability to communicate like an adult, which itself was a problem in the marriage.)


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## Cobalt (Nov 16, 2014)

Dogbert said:


> Too girly



What?  listen mister....


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

Cobalt said:


> What?  listen mister....


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## Erudite (Jan 28, 2015)

I am an eye roller. I admit. You also have to admit that there is a point in an argument, conversation, or dialogue where 

A)It's going nowhere without people getting upset.

B)That the issue at hand is unresolvable --- like when you have a boundary that you just aren't going to let the person speaking cross. It is NOT up for debate so why pretend it is?

C)That people love to poke at your communication skills instead of simply addressing a problem with action instead of flowery words.

D)That some people will push an argument rather than know when to back off. Sometimes they need to just get over it.

E)Sometimes people really ARE just being ridiculous and are wild hypocrites. I am NOT going to restrain an eyeroll around them. I am not perfect.

Not all of the above deserve an eyeroll, necessarily, but be honest. When you are picking on someone for their communication skills you are NOT addressing the problem that needs discussion in the first place. 

And for the record TEENS of both gender have the corner on the eyeroll. Just saying.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

defend eye rolling at you own demise.

as I have aged and matured I have noticed that birds of a feather flock together.

as I look around at my circle of friend and family and acquaintances I now see the difference between them almost glaring.

there are the hotheaded people or confrontational people (excessive) that when an issue arises. they fly off the handle and will use gross exaggerate to prove their point or get their way. reasonable people usually figure this out and just start humoring them. or avoid them.

eventually even the ones who love you get tired of this crap.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

"that's a GREAT idea!!, go do that"


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

Joe Cool said:


> What is the verbal equivalent of an eye roll?


When women do it, its "You stupid, stupid man"


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Meh


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich!


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

Hmm... I use  on this forum to indicate sarcasm. It's more like saying "really?"

Like so:

"I'm a man, so of course I'm an idiot and need to be reminded like a child." 

Generally a sarcastic response to point out how something someone said is imbued with an insulting character or generalization.


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## syhoybenden (Feb 21, 2013)

Whateverrrrrr


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## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

syhoybenden said:


> Whateverrrrrr


:iagree::lol:


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

vellocet said:


> When women do it, its "You stupid, stupid man"


Like I said, "bless your heart!"


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## Cobalt (Nov 16, 2014)

This one used to piss her off :

"Let me know when you've calmed down."









:lol:


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## lonelyhusband321 (Feb 18, 2014)

Everyone has their own equivalent, but I think the "go to" is ....

"Whatever"


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## lonelyhusband321 (Feb 18, 2014)

chillymorn said:


> get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich!


:rofl:
Three times over!!!


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

I think an exasperated "Whatever." is the verbal equivalent of an eye roll... and yeah, it is really dismissive, and insulting.

I think it's also evidence of one of the 4 Horsemen of the Marital Apocalypse: Contempt. If you ever find yourself doing this with your spouse, then you need to check yourself before you wreck yourself.

But as the OP said, a lot of people don't realize when they do this. I think it points to immaturity and a lack of self-awareness. It's behavior usually reserved for teens.

ETA: Somehow, I managed to post this before I read pp 2 & 3 of the thread, so I realize now after the fact that nearly everything I've posted here has already been posted by someone else. My bad


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

Rowan said:


> The perennial Southern favorite: "Bless your heart..."


Oh, yeah! This one!

I had a co-worker who said this at work on a regular basis, and she was the nicest person ever, so I thought... she doesn't understand what that really means. So I took her aside one day and told her. She was mortified. But she's not from the south, so she had no way of knowing...


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

An eye roll for a lame joke is not only appropriate - it's expected.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

When exasperated (hence a verbal eyeroll), I have sometimes resorted to requesting that the conversation end: "I do not want to talk about this anymore". Apparently some people think this translates to, "you're right, I'm wrong and I've finally seen the light". I don't bother to attempt to correct that thinking anymore. I realised that when someone has no interest in hearing what you are actually saying, everything you say will be twisted into what they want to hear.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

'Bless Your Heart' can be a joke among family & friends. Sis & said this when we signed each other up for unwanted volunteer tasks i.e. helping someone move.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Blondilocks said:


> 'Bless Your Heart' can be a joke among family & friends. Sis & said this when we signed each other up for unwanted volunteer tasks i.e. helping someone move.


"Bless your heart!" can actually mean a lot of things - usually some form or degree of derision, but also possibly an expression of contempt. And yeah, it's often used jokingly, or at least to indicate good-natured pity. What it's almost never, though, is an actual blessing.


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

Joe Cool said:


> What is the verbal equivalent of an eye roll?
> 
> For the record, I find them obnoxious expressions of disdain under all circumstances and a complete turnoff that causes a significant loss of respect for the user.
> 
> ...


Personally, I disagree. I've seen more guys/men use eye rolling to express their annoyance than I ever have women. 

When it comes to expressions of annoyance/distaste/disgust, everyone does them at some point or other and they're not gender specific. I'd be willing to bet the men in this thread roll their eyes and don't realize it.


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## Canon in D (Aug 24, 2014)

*Re: Re: What is the verbal equivalent of an eye roll?*



Joe Cool said:


> What is the verbal equivalent of an eye roll?
> 
> For the record, I find them obnoxious expressions of disdain under all circumstances and a complete turnoff that causes a significant loss of respect for the user.
> 
> ...


To me it's a rude gesture, I have friends who think the same. We (men and women) were discussing about rude expressions and this came up.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Non verbal communication is very useful and can often get what you / your point across much better than any uttered words.

Therefore, OP, I would not try to get your daughter to stop using an eyeroll. I would discuss with her when she should avoid using it -- such as with teachers or other adults in authority. 

I think of eye roll as nonverbal sarcasm.

You should let her know how it can be interpreted and the pitfalls of using it.... that is, when someone has something your daughter wants. Eyerolling isn't going to solve her problem.

OTOH, an eyeroll can be useful for conveying STFU without saying a word. What's not to like.

the other thing is, even if you were to gets your daughter out of the habit of eyerolling, she should understand the nonverbal communication that is visited upon here such as tone of voice and other facial expressions.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

I have a couple of apps on my iPhone to convey lots of messages. Mostly sound effects and of course in cases of high drama, my Tiny Violin... (https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/tiny-violin/id284924915?mt=8)


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

However many ways there are to minimize or disrespect someone while at the same time being too much of a coward to speak up are the number of verbal equivalents there are. That's a lot of equivalents.


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## Angelou (Oct 21, 2014)

"UhHuh"


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