# triple threat, divorce, bpd, and impulsive disorder



## goner (Jul 25, 2012)

wife left 3 months ago. said "get help." i ignored her as always. instead i went crazy. i went to booze, and attempted suicide. i didnt go through with it, i sat in my room with a rifle in my mouth crying until i passed out. pretty much sealed the deal. she thinks im looking for her to save me. thats not true, i brokedown at the sudden absence of my family. two months of booze and insanity, i brokedown. got help, went to a therapist. diagnoses was bpd and impulsive disorder. i believe these were pivotal in her leaving. now there has been so much damage done since she left i lost her.

i dont know what to do...


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

Sorry you're struggling with this. Have you talked with her and let her know what your diagnoses is? If so what has she said? If not, you need to talk with her about it. Would she been open to couples therapy?


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## goner (Jul 25, 2012)

Jamison said:


> Sorry you're struggling with this. Have you talked with her and let her know what your diagnoses is? If so what has she said? If not, you need to talk with her about it. Would she been open to couples therapy?


Tried that avenue. Tried a lot of things and she says I'm using this as an excuse. Like having a disease is an excuse for the symptoms.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Uptown (Mar 27, 2010)

Goner, I'm sorry to hear you are in so much pain. If you have any chance at all of changing her mind -- and you may not -- the best thing you can do IMO is to enter a treatment program targeted to BPDers. It will teach you skills and techniques for doing self-calming and managing your emotions, together with "mindfulness" (i.e., how to stay in the present instead of becoming preoccupied with worries about the future and resentment about the past). On this forum, Pidge likely knows the most about actual BPD treatment programs. I suggest you raise this issue of therapy with her (in one of her threads or in a PM). 

If you have strong BPD traits, as you say, MC likely will be ineffective until you've been in IC for a substantial period. Staying in such a program probably is the best thing you can do for yourself and the best chance you have of persuading your W that you are serious about changing. But the change is unlikely to occur quickly. A substantial change will likely take several years of hard work. In any event, I wish you and your W the very best.


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