# What are you proud of ??



## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

My wife is always after me, nagging me, about a haircut and beard trim. Today she added that I should "....have pride in myself....".... my somewhat-angry reply was "....proud ??? OF WHAT ????...."

Her reply was "....yourself....".

I have only one question. How, in the name of God, could I possibly have "...pride in myself ????....."... I have no accomplishments. I struggle to keep bills paid, we have enough medical bill debt to choke someone in the 90th income percentile, I live in a double-wide modular home in a modular home park which she desperately wants to move out of (although, not desperately enough to cause her to go back to work)....

Tell me, can anyone here HONESTLY say he/she has "....pride in him/herself ??...."


----------



## Tilted 1 (Jul 23, 2019)

TJW, I do and it is first on my priority for myself then my spouse. This is a thing I can control.


----------



## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

Do what ?


----------



## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

If she was nagging about your physical appearance, then said to take pride in yourself, to me that means "take pride in your physical appearance/hygiene" (put effort into your appearance and care about it, rather than looking like a bum or something). Not that she wants you to have a list of things about yourself that you are proud of.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

TJW said:


> My wife is always after me, nagging me, about a haircut and beard trim. Today she added that I should "....have pride in myself....".... my somewhat-angry reply was "....proud ??? OF WHAT ????...."
> 
> Her reply was "....yourself....".
> 
> ...


We like you! Your replies and comments are always on the mark and you have helped many, many people on TAM.

The trouble is your wife only sees you as Clark Kent, whilst we see that you are also Superman.


----------



## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

There are also things to take pride in that are not your income or home. 

What about the things you have accomplished over the years? Maybe you lost a lot of weight. Maybe you broke an unhealthy habit. Maybe you carry yourself well. Maybe you decided to take meds after fighting on it for a long time.

What about the "small" day to day things? Maybe you made the bed today for the first time in months. Maybe you chose to eat carrots over chips. Maybe you treated someone with kindness. Maybe you had a hard situation at work but handled it well. Maybe you went to bed on time and worked on healthy sleep hygiene. Etc.

A lot of people will have a hard time making a list of things they are proud of, but look hard enough and they are there.


----------



## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

TJW said:


> ... I live in a double-wide modular home in a modular home park which she desperately wants to move out of (although, not desperately enough to cause her to go back to work)....


^^This^^ alone would make me kick her ass to the curb. In a New York minute. Seriously.



TJW said:


> Tell me, can anyone here HONESTLY say he/she has "....pride in him/herself ??...."


Actually, yes I do. Have pride in myself, that is. I walked out on my marriage when I had cancer and no health insurance. That was 11 years ago. I'm still here. Doing fine, I might add. I'm not a particularly brave soul, but I figured I'd rather die alone in a gutter than put up with another second of alcoholic insanity. JMO.


----------



## .339971 (Sep 12, 2019)

That I'm still standing despite everything over the past few years. That I'm still standing when I didn't care if I lived or died. That I've shed the hatred and anger I held onto for so long over things I just couldn't let go of that happened to me. And that after everything, I just seem to be a better person than I've ever been. I think that, no matter how big or small, we should all find things within ourselves to be proud of. We all have something.


----------



## Tilted 1 (Jul 23, 2019)

TJW said:


> Do what ?


I am talking of personal hygiene and the way I display myself?


----------



## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> Your replies and comments are always on the mark and you have helped many, many people on TAM.


Thank you for these very kind words which I really needed to hear. Helping people is indeed something to be proud of.

And, I don't have bad hygiene or anything like that. I am not unwashed, although I do get to look like Grizzly Adams from time to time. (Don't I wish.....)


----------



## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

TJW said:


> And, I don't have bad hygiene or anything like that. I am not unwashed, although I do get to look like Grizzly Adams from time to time. (Don't I wish.....)


So tell your harpy of a wife to STFU and gain some peace in your life. Why you stay with this loon is beyond me … life is way too short to waste it on this nonsense.


----------



## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Prodigal said:


> So tell your harpy of a wife to STFU and gain some peace in your life. Why you stay with this loon is beyond me … life is way too short to waste it on this nonsense.




This!!!!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

My son


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro


----------



## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Ikaika said:


> My son
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro


“We don’t inherit the earth, we borrow it from our children”.


----------



## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

Not having money is sure inconvenient, but nothing to be ashamed of. Having lots of it is nice, but nothing to be proud of.

If you've been a good friend or neighbor, held a job or been responsible, etc. etc, you have stuff to be proud of. 

I'm sorry life isn't treating you well right now, but don't beat yourself up about it.


----------



## JMarie (Aug 15, 2019)

I’m proud that I got to the point where I valued my sanity over trying to please someone who didn’t know how to respect other’s boundaries... who was critical, stubborn and unforgiving...who seemed to look for something to be upset about... 

Do not concern yourself of things that others say that aren’t true... and if they are true... it’s up to you if you want to change. 

Happiness comes from within us... I have relatives with a ton of money and all kinds of nice things... they are the most miserable people I know. 

Don’t waste your time jumping through hoops to make someone happy. They won’t be happy unless they find it themselves. 

Life is too short.


----------



## Bluesclues (Mar 30, 2016)

When my husband first moved into my home I had mismatched furniture collected here and there over the years, none of it in very good shape. My bedside table was actually a living room end table that had stain missing and major scratches all over it. One night I was using a damp facecloth to soothe my allergy eyes and put the cloth on the beside table when I was done. My husband chastised me that I would ruin the table with the wet cloth. I replied it was a piece of **** anyway so who cares? He said it was the only bedside table I had and I needed to take care of it so it didn’t become more of a POS. 

That really stuck with me. Have pride in what you do have by taking care of it. Don’t let everything go to complete **** because it is already not perfect. That applies to you too. You deal everyday with things that might break other people and still give of yourself by offering help to others here. You should be proud. TRIM YOUR HAIR! Not because she said to but because you deserve to be taken care of.


----------



## a_new_me (Dec 27, 2012)

I am proud of my 3 amazing kids.

They are far from perfect, but they know that.
They allow their love, loyalty, passion and drive to fuel them and to grow.

They argue with me a lot, but I guide them to explore humanity, equality, empathy and to respect themselves so they can respect and appreciate the beauty of life.

My everything. I am theirs too. I have a computer designer, an artist and a scientist in the making. 

I may be in my early 40s, but last time I looked, I only have 4 grey hairs 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## JustTheWife (Nov 1, 2017)

Bluesclues said:


> When my husband first moved into my home I had mismatched furniture collected here and there over the years, none of it in very good shape. My bedside table was actually a living room end table that had stain missing and major scratches all over it. One night I was using a damp facecloth to soothe my allergy eyes and put the cloth on the beside table when I was done. My husband chastised me that I would ruin the table with the wet cloth. I replied it was a piece of **** anyway so who cares? He said it was the only bedside table I had and I needed to take care of it so it didn’t become more of a POS.
> 
> That really stuck with me. Have pride in what you do have by taking care of it. Don’t let everything go to complete **** because it is already not perfect. That applies to you too. You deal everyday with things that might break other people and still give of yourself by offering help to others here. You should be proud. TRIM YOUR HAIR! Not because she said to but because you deserve to be taken care of.


I love this story. I grew up very poor. Struggled with money through college. Now my husband and I get by but we have very little money. All of our furniture is used and from places like Salvation Army stores. I keep our place so neat and clean and I take care of what we do have and I thank God for it every day.


----------



## 335289 (Nov 28, 2018)

TJW said:


> My wife is always after me, nagging me, about a haircut and beard trim. Today she added that I should "....have pride in myself....".... my somewhat-angry reply was "....proud ??? OF WHAT ????...."
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Sure. And, you should, too. She is trying to encourage you to be the best you that you can be. 


Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------

