# Negative Response after Sex



## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Anyone else ever have their wife end sex by saying "that was disappointing" just because you didn't finish? Everything else was good, we had a good time, I got up quite pleased, but that was her response. 
Made me feel like crap after focusing on her and having a good time myself. Again it just shows her primary concern for doing what she thinks is necessary to make a baby.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Are you absolutely sure it was about having a baby, not her just being disappointed that you didn't cum?


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

jaquen said:


> Are you absolutely sure it was about having a baby, not her just being disappointed that you didn't cum?


It may have been both. But they go hand in hand.


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## Interlocutor (Dec 29, 2011)

My wife had a phase where she insisted on becoming pregnant right then and there but we hadn't come to an agreement yet on the exact month. She'd make comments like that and it pissed me off big time... She'd also say, "why didn't you cum in me, are you such a pvssy that you're that scared?" in the middle of sex to get under my skin. She'd dish out insults in the middle of sex with a mocking tone. It was a completely petty vindictiveness to get back at me because I wasn't getting her pregnant when she commanded me to.

The last time she did that, I stopped in the middle of sex with her and told her we were not having sex ever again until she put a stop to laying bait for arguments during sex... The drought lasted a while and she needed to change.

Is this kind of whats happening with you? If this soinds like what's happening to you, Do NOT put up with that... Tell her those comments are out of line during what should be two people expressing love for each other.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

She doesn't say demeaning things. She has made other comments in the past about being disappointed when I don't finish though. That is usually the focus of our sex, me finishing. And it always has to be in the V. Never anywhere else.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

gbrad said:


> It may have been both. But they go hand in hand.


I ask because my wife and I have a very climax-centric sex life. 99% of the time we both cum, and sometimes several times. On a rare off one of us will just want to please the other one, and not finish. And yes, sometimes the party that did finish is disappointed because we both love to make the other cum.

Is there a chance your wife is just disappointed because she loves to know you finished?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

jaquen said:


> I ask because my wife and I have a very climax-centric sex life. 99% of the time we both cum, and sometimes several times. On a rare off one of us will just want to please the other one, and not finish. And yes, sometimes the party that did finish is disappointed because we both love to make the other cum.
> 
> Is there a chance your wife is just disappointed because she loves to know you finished?


Sounds like us again Jaquen (minus the "several times") ~ that must be nice  ... 

I'll never forget the 1st time my husband DIDN'T get his... it was 4 yrs ago (after being married almost 20 yrs)... I was wearing him out with needing my FIX all the time.... I got mine ...and he told me he didn't think he could get his...that he'd wait till the next day... ....suddenly these emotions started washing over me....this feeling of sadness....It bothered me.... it's like I want him to GET HIS [email protected]#$%^ Let's just say, it was a new experience for me, and it kinda took me by surprise.

I had to remind myself I was pushing his limits, and be happy he still wanted to please me. For a time I questioned if I was being a "burden" ...but he assured me I wasn't. ... then this became easier... and about once or twice a month...this would happen, and it was OK... I knew he was still happy to be there , my pleasure = his pleasure. 


And he is the same darn way ! He feels sadness if I can't get mine, he even got glassy eyed once when I told him to take me sideways - cause I didn't think I could go again (just did it the night before) -here he was worried I was slowing down- even asked me that ....that proved to me right there -how deeply he felt about pleasing me.. that he almost gets MORE pleasure out of pleasing me. He passed that morning for his own.

Some people (at least we are) are pretty sensitive to these things - but in your wife's case, *sounds it is more related to HAVING A BABY...*

I can surely understand this a TON.. we had over 6 + years of trying to conceive... I wanted more children badly... and (hate to say it)...I was very one tract minded, I really didn't even think of his pleasure, all I wanted was his







... this hurt him because at that time, I didn't care about my own pleasure either... if any position or MY NOT orgasming (suggested to get a girl)- that is all I cared about. 

I can't say he ever failed to perform once though back then. If so, I can easily see me getting upset and wanting to do it again like hours later - to make up for our scheduled attempt. 

When a woman wants a baby and she thinks she has the right timing down, that is kinda devastating to her. Are you having trouble conceiving? They say unprotected regular sex - over one year, if no conception -could warrant some testing..

So is this more related to her wanting a baby (which I am suspecting -even if she doesn't say that)....or she just cares deeply about your pleasure ?


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## TrustInUs (Sep 9, 2012)

Have you talked to her about not focusing on you finishing and that you still enjoyed it? Focusing on it can cause added pressure for both of you. I know it's probably pretty hard if she has baby making on the mind.

This happened to my H once and I was disappointed because I felt like maybe I didn't satisfy him, even though I know it was irrational thinking as well as a double standard because there was a few times that I didn't finish as well.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Sounds like what the wife and I both feel when she dosn't...The only time I don't, is when I take opiates for pain....Probably a dozen times in the past 47 years....Are you on any meds?

We never had trouble getting pregnant. almost just the opposite....She got pregnant the first time we had unprotected sex...


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## Interlocutor (Dec 29, 2011)

gbrad said:


> She doesn't say demeaning things. She has made other comments in the past about being disappointed when I don't finish though. That is usually the focus of our sex, me finishing. And it always has to be in the V. Never anywhere else.


That's good...

You need to get to the root of why, then, she is saying those things.

If it's because she is focused on your pleasure and feels that she failed, then it should be easy to solve.

If she's not the openly communicative type, then the burden may fall on you to uncover her feelings that lead her to say those things.


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

> "why didn't you cum in me, are you such a pvssy that you're that scared?"


I don't know, but depending on my mood that would either kill my mojo or make me go all out 500 shades of black on her. Bed reparation required for sure. Maybe she wanted you to rough it up a bit?


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## Interlocutor (Dec 29, 2011)

costa200 said:


> I don't know, but depending on my mood that would either kill my mojo or make me go all out 500 shades of black on her. Bed reparation required for sure. Maybe she wanted you to rough it up a bit?


When I post I always post the nice version... Maybe I'm afraid of there being online evidence... lol

I have to confess, I did react very harshly... Suffice it to say it involved me jumping off of her and citing to her the following: I might be a pvssy for not wanting to ejaculate in her and risk pregnancy, but at least I wasn't a boner-slayer that was so bad between the sheets I caused my partner to decide it was better to stop screwing mid-fvck and take care of myself in the bathroom... She regretted it... Man... It was bad... 

We both lost our tempers and it took a while until she realized she was killing our sex life by trying some passive aggressive angle on trying to get pregnant... Then, I did apologize to her for calling her names as well... That was a dark period of our history, and thankfully she's nothing like that now.

But no, it had nothing to do with wanting it rough, something I do sometimes without needing to be asked... It was literally a little-girl tantrum because I wasn't getting her pregnant at the precise time she wanted to be pregnant.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Interlocutor said:


> That's good...
> 
> You need to get to the root of why, then, she is saying those things.
> 
> ...


I am positive the root of it is the getting pregnant aspect. She is a communicator, but I don't want to bring up the whole pregnancy aspect of it, because that conversation is not going to go well. She still believes it is going to happen, I don't. (tests have been done, %'s are very very low for likelihood).


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