# Hi all..Im so lost, and confused, I just want him back



## Sierra (May 29, 2010)

Hi all, I have just become a member today, Im so confused and stressed. Here is my story.
I told my husband to get out one Saturday morning in April 2009, I didnt mean it at all, i just had enough of him neglecting me and taking me for granted. We have been married for 4 years, 1 year of that separated.

He left me, once i told him to go. But the next few days i begged him to come back, but he kept saying you threw me out with out warning. Even thought i had been warning him for the last 2 years,please stop hurting me, i cant tolerate your behavior no more, he was online nearly everyday after work and on his days off. i found txt messages planning to meet with women. Found many face book adds and msn addresses on the computer. but he made excuses etc, and lie. 

Since he has said no to come back home, he has been in contact every other day i kept it cool,i went on holiday last june to get away from all the pain, he rang me text me.

Since i came back from holiday, he keeps in contact, He asks me to give him his post, and meet up for a drink, which has been nice, but this point i was numb and didnt want him back, due to all the pain he caused me. we did the meeting up until christmas.He has been saying all through this lets make it work but i have not been responding maybe becasue from all the hurt. But this year in March i decide to agree, to fix the marriage, but as soon as i did, he started rejecting me, and remembered how i threw him out,By this point i had fallen for him again and my guard was down, im back to square one, i text or  call many time, i try to stop but fall back to same pattern, he keeps saying he doesnt know, if to come home, doesnt make it clear for what he wants. I dont know what else to think. im lost and alone.

By the way, can anyone know if the sites stating how to get your ex back, do they really work ????


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## PreludeCkN (Jan 21, 2010)

Sorry to hear you are going thru this, I know how painful i know how painful it is. I know how it is to have a rocky marriage and try to do whatever it takes to save it. It sounds like you both have build up resentment from each other and this is preventing you both to fix things. Give each other space and take time to reflect what you both want. I know easier said than done. I myself am trying to do the same and I am finding difficult to digest. Take time to heal from the pain he has cause you, may I suggest marriage counseling. I wish you the best!


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

There comes a point in time where you need to seriously evaluate the foundation of what is/was holding your marriage together.

If the bulk of what keeps you hanging on is based in negativity; wanting, but not having your needs met, arguing, lack of support, communication, affection, sex ... etc. then it really begs the question, "Why do I want to be with this person?"

And even more importantly, "How does my life become better with this person?"

Seriously think about them - and frame them within the context of your entire life, not simply how you feel in the moment.

You can't move forward if every time the two of you get together it is a repeat of the past.

Right now you are in limbo. Seeing as you cannot seem to focus on reconciling, start the process of divorce and odds are that will clarify both of your positions.


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