# Stages !!



## gally (Jun 28, 2010)

Right now i'm really angry, sending stupid texts, I know its wrong, I want to stop! but how... **** I want to move on.. Shes upstairs in the bed I'm on the sofa... Living together through a seperation / divorce must be the worst kind of hell.


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## Brewster 59 (Jun 19, 2010)

Actually that is tough and needs to be changed but let me share the hell Im going through and you decide if it is worse or not. 

I loved my wife more than anything in this world, I have been running my own small buisness for 7 years, some years have been better than others but this year is horrible. 

My wife is lucky and works for the county making about 50K a year. I actually thought our marriage was ok, but she started getting pizzed I wasnt making any money.

Heres what happened to me, I was sick one day my wife told she loved me, she went and got me soup cuz I was sick, the next day I was served with divorce papers. My wife went into no contact mode and got a $350 an hour lawer to scalp me of any assets I have. 

Now I have a failed marriage, a failed buisness, and really feel like I have no reason to live. So without discounting your situation please realize yours could be much worse. Read Help 235s posts read other peoples posts on these boards and count the blessings you have.


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## 2Daughters (May 13, 2010)

The worst thing about separating is 'living' in the same house, it was the most gut wrenching time for me between the time my wife told me she 'needed space to breathe' (which means she found OM) till 1 month later when she finally moved out, of course it was awful the first month apart, but today 2 1/2 months later, I never want to go back to that, now she has gone from being a cold hearted biatch, who could careless about me, to now telling me "but I'm the mother of your daughters"..2 months ago I would have done anything to hear that, but now, I love being free, I have went on several dates (none physical) although they wanted to, but this Friday I am going to lunch with someone I really like, so it is true when they say, time is the key, and what you feel today, you will feel different in a few months, and who knows in 6 months.


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## PreludeCkN (Jan 21, 2010)

I went thru all the stages, grief, sadness, anger, hate, and denial. It varied everyday. All I can say is that things are getting much better between me and my H. Although there is still no chance of reconciliation, i have more hope now than I did before. Of course every situation is different, some have it harder than others. And from what I have seen on TAM I have it way easier than others, so I am thankful for that. I hope you are able to find peace and comfort.


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## CodeNameBob (Jun 3, 2010)

Divorce is the worst kind of hell, all of it. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. My marriage couselor put it this way to me today when I was saying how bad it sucked.

"I was in a burn unit 20 years ago and got skin graphs, I would rather go back to that pain, then feel and go through the pain people getting divorced do. Especially those dealing with cheating." My couselor

Spend time on here, read all the post, this S*** sucks, and for every story someone is going through someone else is going through something worse.


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## gally (Jun 28, 2010)

Thanks for the feedback... Theres always someone worse off. Its just hard to see it that way. For me the hardest part is all the lies. I really want to man it up and not behave like some 18yo but sometimes I just cant..


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## 2Daughters (May 13, 2010)

Gally...to you as an individual, it is the worst feeling, so no one can say someone is going through something worse than you, that is not so...to me, mine was worse, to Prelude hers was worse, it's all worse to everyone...the mind is a beautiful thing to have, except in a failed relationship...it's like, us vs them.


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## gally (Jun 28, 2010)

I'v read through a lot of your stuff 2Daughters and this

_I placed my w on a pedastal and gave her everything. I never stood my ground. Deep down I was fearful of her rejection. So I wouldn't rock the boat and avoided all confrontation with her. I became emotionally dishonest with myself and her. All out of this fear and my fear that I would lash out at her and lose her forever._

struck such a cord.. Thats me.. I'm that person.. I realise now that i have been 'allowing?' all her behaviour and that actually she only really cares about herself.


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