# Need help with Facebook Messenger



## Tre79 (1 mo ago)

Does anyone know how one would go about hiding a message in the archive file? My wife is currently conversing with her old hs BF on messenger and two times ago when I went to check it she had moved it to the archives, and the last time it had disappeared completely. I know she didn’t delete the chat because I searched her browser history and she was googling how to hide a message. I can’t figure out how she did it


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

If you're using the mobile app, you simply click on the archived chat and swipe left. Two choices appear “unarchive” and “more.” Under “more,” there’s an option to delete.

Just take pics of the chats next time if you’re looking to save proof.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Tre79 said:


> Does anyone know how one would go about hiding a message in the archive file? My wife is currently conversing with her old hs BF on messenger and two times ago when I went to check it she had moved it to the archives, and the last time it had disappeared completely. I know she didn’t delete the chat because I searched her browser history and she was googling how to hide a message. I can’t figure out how she did it


Google, as did she.

What, found she, shall find thee, on your CRT.

Find the _*sugar plums*_ that she has so trailed.

Eyes and ears open, mouth shut.

Do not alert your wife. 
Let her Wanderlust run its course.

Why?
To halt it, is to delay it. to delay the inevitable.
The end of your romance, your marriage.

Keep your zipper unencumbered, sow no doubt that you are hot on her trail.
Hot, (likely), is she, after those *sugar plums* leading to her High School POSOM.

TAM is rife with this same story.
You are not alone, no sir.

Let the plot run its course, it is her that must do the u-turn, not you.

Who, is it, that wants a spouse that finds it in themselves to cheat, to give their love to another?

Let us see how far she is willing to go with this communication.

The marriage disappearing ink is not yet dry, do not blow on it. 
Let her do the deed, let her continue this wayward wind puffing.


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## gameopoly5 (5 mo ago)

Tre79 said:


> Does anyone know how one would go about hiding a message in the archive file? My wife is currently conversing with her old hs BF on messenger and two times ago when I went to check it she had moved it to the archives, and the last time it had disappeared completely. I know she didn’t delete the chat because I searched her browser history and she was googling how to hide a message. I can’t figure out how she did it


After you find the chats, grab them as evidence.
Then contact your wife`s ex and warn him to stay away from your wife.
As SuncMars says, stay cool, act normal, say nothing until you have the evidence.
Very sorry this is happening to you.


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## cocolo2019 (Aug 21, 2019)

gameopoly5 said:


> After you find the chats, grab them as evidence.
> Then contact your wife`s ex and warn him to stay away from your wife.
> As SuncMars says, stay cool, act normal, say nothing until you have the evidence.
> Very sorry this is happening to you.


It's not recommended to call the POSOM. It is better recommended to inform POSOM's wife.


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## Tre79 (1 mo ago)

cocolo2019 said:


> It's not recommended to call the POSOM. It is better recommended to inform POSOM's wife.


I’ve looked into that, other than being able to get her name from the assessors site she is a virtual ghost online. No social media I can find.


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## Tre79 (1 mo ago)

*Deidre* said:


> If you're using the mobile app, you simply click on the archived chat and swipe left. Two choices appear “unarchive” and “more.” Under “more,” there’s an option to delete.
> 
> Just take pics of the chats next time if you’re looking to save proof.


I’ve been collecting the evidence as it’s progressed. This is just a new wrinkle I wasn’t expecting. I’m fairly certain they had an additional secret conversation going as well but I have no evidence of it.


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## Tre79 (1 mo ago)

SunCMars said:


> Google, as did she.
> 
> What, found she, shall find thee, on your CRT.
> 
> ...


I read all the articles that she was looking at and none really described what she seemingly ended up doing


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## Tre79 (1 mo ago)

I’ll share the whole story tonight when I get home from work. I’m 100% confident in calling it an emotional affair and I’m still selfishly wanting to wait for confrontation until I find the proof of a physical which I’m also pretty sure of.


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## BootsAndJeans (4 mo ago)

Social media is a bane on civilization and marriage


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

BootsAndJeans said:


> Social media is a bane on civilization and marriage


So is alcohol but you surely won’t catch me tossing it down the drain!!!


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

Adultery has been around forever. Social media is just another tool to help it along.


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## BootsAndJeans (4 mo ago)

Mr.Married said:


> So is alcohol but you surely won’t catch me tossing it down the drain!!!


Generally anything is ok on moderation. Social media is designed to be addictive to drive up advertising revenue. It creates a fantasy metaverse and people can detach from what is real.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

BootsAndJeans said:


> Generally anything is ok on moderation. Social media is designed to be addictive to drive up advertising revenue. It creates a fantasy metaverse and people can detach from what is real.


I have my pm's deactivated on this site as when I first joined, ''happily married'' men were looking to ''chat.'' They're everywhere.


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## BootsAndJeans (4 mo ago)

@*Deidre*

I don't doubt it. I honestly don't know how women put up with it. My wife told me about a guy she is in the same job as, only sees at meetings. He was hitting on her hard. She told him she was married and not interested. He gave her the "what he doesnt know won't hurt him" speech. Then the moron was stupid enough to continue on FB messenger, which she has to have to manage her work' s page.

She showed it to me. I got a screen shot. Called this asshat and explained I am not like him. I value my wife, marriage and family and will fight for my marriage and family ...violently if I have too. I then sent the screen shot to his wife and asked her if her husband planned in continuing to breathe, that poaching on my ranch is highly dangerous. I also went to the administrators and asked if they authorized their employees to commit sexual harassment against their female employees.

Assist was terminated....this was not the first time he had done this.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

Tre79 said:


> I’ve been collecting the evidence as it’s progressed. This is just a new wrinkle I wasn’t expecting. I’m fairly certain they had an additional secret conversation going as well but I have no evidence of it.


I’m just curious, why are you waiting to confront your wife about this? 

Not judging your decision, but just wondering.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Tre79 said:


> I’ll share the whole story tonight when I get home from work. I’m 100% confident in calling it an emotional affair and I’m still selfishly wanting to wait for confrontation until I find the proof of a physical which I’m also pretty sure of.


It is not you being selfish.
This is on her.

OK, it still needs to be determined.

As you may have read here, umpteen times, if you confront too early, your advantage disappears.

She can then, comfortably, hide behind her denials.

And then...

And then, you are haunted forever with doubt and trepidation.
Did she, or did she not...

It is best to catch her red-handed with her nose in the pickle jar.

Her nose in that jar, the scented nosegays sitting atop her heart.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

*Deidre* said:


> I’m just curious, why are you waiting to confront your wife about this?
> 
> Not judging your decision, but just wondering.


Cause, I told him not to!


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

SunCMars said:


> Cause, I told him not to!


Why are you shouting at me? 

The OP sounds like he has been gathering ''evidence'' for a while...I'm curious as to why some people wait to confront, and others don't.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

*Deidre* said:


> Why are you shouting at me?
> 
> The OP sounds like he has been gathering ''evidence'' for a while...I'm curious as to why some people wait to confront, and others don't.


I rarely shout...

Well, I try not to...

I use the (!!!) marks for emphasis...

USING ALL CAPS IS SHOUTING.

never, that with you, or not (mostly) with anyone on tam.

i do occasionally use ALL CAPS in the _political section_.
And, cannons.

There, there, I hunt skunks and weasels...... big ones.
Um...

You know my reason, here, in this CWI thread.

Yes, let us see if our OP will give his reason without any one shouting, or anyone interrupting.
Like me, did, done, yes.

OK, is this good?
No, harm meant.
Seriously.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Tre79 said:


> I’ll share the whole story tonight when I get home from work. I’m 100% confident in calling it an emotional affair and I’m still selfishly wanting to wait for confrontation until I find the proof of a physical which I’m also pretty sure of.


You may know this, but an emotional affair just needs opportunity to turn physical, so if they aren't separated by many hours of travel time it is very likely physical. Sorry you are dealing with this.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

Sorry you have to deal with this. Many of us here will just tell you to serve your wife divorce papers now. Save the trouble of all the detective work.

FWIW, this is a divorceable offense.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Tre79 said:


> I’ve looked into that, other than being able to get her name from the assessors site she is a virtual ghost online. No social media I can find.


White page her name, pay a small fee, get her cell number etc.


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## DamianDamian (Aug 14, 2019)

If she's deleting messages with her ex I'd already be getting divorce papers ready.


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## TinyTbone (6 mo ago)

When any partner deletes any messages before letting the other read them, then there IS a problem. With a couple transparency, trust and nothing hidden are imperative to a healthy relationship.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

As soon as someone has to become the marriage police… there is no marriage.

Dude…. Pick your head up and walk out of this chit show. It’s not worth the time. She has givin herself away. Nothing else matters


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

*


*Deidre* said:



Adultery has been around forever. Social media is just another tool to help it along.

Click to expand...

*True.

I remember way back when, everyone blaming "classmates.com" for the spike in cheating and/or divorces due to people reconnecting with old teenage romances from their past, etc.

It wasn't Classmates.com that did it; it was the weak-willed cheating ass-holes who CHOSE to cross over the line and act like hormonal teenage idiots. It drives me crazy when betrayed people blame the venue or tool that enabled their cheater to act like the POS they *are* rather than holding their cheater 100% responsible. It's the same thing with Ashley Madison and AdultFriendFinder when those sites were all the rage - angry wives and husbands were all blaming the websites for their cheater's betrayals as though the site owners themselves dragged all these cheaters to their websites at gunpoint and *made* them join. 🤨🤨


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## BootsAndJeans (4 mo ago)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> True.
> 
> I remember way back when, everyone blaming "classmates.com" for the spike in cheating and/or divorces due to people reconnecting with old teenage romances from their past, etc.
> 
> It wasn't Classmates.com that did it; it was the weak-willed cheating ass-holes who CHOSE to cross over the line and act like hormonal teenage idiots. It drives me crazy when betrayed people blame the venue or tool that enabled their cheater to act like the POS they *are* rather than holding their cheater 100% responsible. It's the same thing with Ashley Madison and AdultFriendFinder when those sites were all the rage - angry wives and husbands were all blaming the websites for their cheater's betrayals as though the site owners themselves dragged all these cheaters to their websites at gunpoint and *made* them join. 🤨🤨


Facebook and all social media platforms are:

Desigbed to be addictive to increase advertiser and stock revenue
Can cause people to withdraw from real life relationships & activities
Offers a means and trap for some people to think/feel that interactions with others are real OR that what the see of others is truth.
People have indeed cheated since time immemorial. However, social media is a huge highway to it. Something like 4 billion people consume social media. I will also add that the advent of smart phones has also impacted relationships.

I work in tech, my phone is my go to tool. However both my wife and decided that we will leave our phones off/ or not look at them when we are together. It really hit us one day when we went to Longhorn Steakhouse and just watched families and couples with their noses buried in phones.. instead of talking and being social.


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## TinyTbone (6 mo ago)

Preach it BOOTSANDJEANS! Nothing is truly social about social media. Yep it made the world seem like a smaller place, yet we got further and further from each other. Such a sad state of affairs to watch people messaging each other five feet apart. My longtime marriage now suffers from the addiction to electronic devices! The addictiveness consumes her soul, checked out from this reality. Wonder how long the lines will be when they start offering implants to keep people continuously hooked into the internet!
Souls be lost to this stuff. Bahbah sheeple of the world, lead to your destruction


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

If she is using a computer to access facebook you can install a key logger software on it this way what ever she is typing regardless of application will be capture.


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