# Marriage and Paternity Testing



## MrsQualls (Jan 29, 2012)

Me and my husband have been married for 8 months. Even before we were married he expressed that he really wanted to have a child. I already have 3 from a previous relationship, and he has 1 as well. I really didn't want anymore children, but I always said the only way I would was if I were married, and my husband wanted one. I simply didn't want to deal with the idea of having multiple fathers. My husband has a daughter, and thought he had a son, only to find that the mother of that child lied to him about being the father. So anyway, we tried to get pregnant and it simply was not happening. We ended up having a very serious disagreement which resulted in us separating and having no contact for nearly a month. During this time I learned that I was 6 weeks pregnant. The pregnancy was actually what made us regain contact, because I had to tell him. At first he was happy, then not so much. He told me he wanted a paternity test and I agreed. I will admit, it did hurt me at first when he asked, but I thought about the situation he had in the past, and I wanted him to be assured that this is in fact his child. You'd think that would be the end of the story, but nope, it's not that simple. I really don't think his family, in particular his mother, believes I am carrying his child, and I really believe she says things to him to influence his beliefs. Like I said one minute he's excited, then the next minute he doesn't think it's his baby. This is really taking a toll on me and making this pregnancy very stressful and lonely. I've even suggested that we get a prenatal paternity test done, because I really want this over with. He won't agree to it. He says he has no problem waiting it out. So in the mean time, I am to be treated like some tramp that's trying to pin a kid on him. This is really destroying me, it almost makes me want to terminate this pregnancy, which is what I would have done if I even thought there was a possibility of the baby not being his. It sounds harsh, but it's the way I feel. Any thoughts on how I should deal with this?


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## Wanting1 (Apr 26, 2012)

Well, I think I would just do the prenatal test anyway if it were me. The stress of being treated like a "tramp" is not good for the baby. Get it done and put that issue to rest, at least. Then you can start working on the rest of the issues in your relationship.


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## Tikii (Jun 21, 2012)

Personally, I'd terminate and end the marriage. If he didn't trust me to be honest and treat me with respect even with his doubts, I wouldn't want to be in the marriage. I understand his concerns, especially since you separated and having this happen in the past, but he should be treating you respectfully. Did you sleep with anyone during the separation, if so does he know about it? I don't understand why he is going to be like that if he won't agree to a prenatal test. He is going to miss out on the joys of the pregnancy and put both you and the baby at risk.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Falene (Dec 31, 2011)

MrsQualls said:


> So in the mean time, I am to be treated like some tramp that's trying to pin a kid on him.


Only if you allow yourself to be.

His past experience is what is making you get the paternity test. His past experiences do not in any way require you to be treated like this.

You do not mention what the state of your marriage is now but I would be damned to live in an environment where I was being constantly accused of carrying another man's baby. 

I would also tell his mother that you will expect, demand if needed, an apology from her when the results come back showing the child is her son's.

Beyond that, the ball is in your court. If you put up with this treatment you have no one to blame but yourself.


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