# Last Few Days...



## .292705 (May 28, 2017)

I'd previously posted (Divorcing Spouse with Mental Issues - justsimplylisa) about being married to someone with mental illness (bipolar, anxiety, depression, etc.) and I received the most amazing advice and information. For the last 3 months I have been trying to get my H to sign the papers. He wasn't contesting anything he just wanted to stay married on paper so that he could stay on my medical insurance at my job and so I would continue paying for it...well I finally convinced him to sign (THANK GOODNESS!!!!) 

He finally agreed to sign because he thought it was going to take 6 months to get a final decree...what he didn't know was that after I had him served he had 20 days to respond to the court and he didn't so I was on target to get a default divorce. Persisting and getting him to sign the papers takes the guess work out of the judge's hands and will allow me to get a judgment same day. I was able to secure a court date (July 24, 2017) before he signed so by time he signed the documents it turned my court date into just a formality.

I have been taking verbal attacks from him via text ... with him calling me the most vicious names and just being downright childish and mean. He was found on 2 different dating sites (OK Cupid & Plenty of Fish) and so still wanting me to pay for his healthcare is just selfish and demonstrated his willingness to use me. And true to form he still thinks he's the better person in this whole deal...he, of course, blames me for the dissolution of our marriage and I'm finally OK with that if it gets me to a final decree. This has been a long, hard, and expensive journey and I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. He has spent so much time trying to tear me down emotionally I'm just numb to anything he has to say.

Do I still love him ... of course, you don't marry someone you don't have real feelings for but I genuinely don't like him as a person as this process has really shown me who he really is. I pray whenever I'm ready to date again that God sends me someone compassionate, sane and that understands how to be in a relationship and show consideration for others...for me. Eight months is not a long time to be married and I was praying for forever but I couldn't take coming home to the who knows what every day.

I sincerely appreciated all the support and getting the amazing advice and reading the comments and support others were shown. Divorce is taxing ... emotionally, physically and spiritually...being able to share that with a group of people that understands your struggle helps A LOT!!!! 

Miracles and Blessings to you all


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Divorce is the most difficult thing I've ever been through. But it's worth the peace you find on the other side. One day all of this will be behind you and just a bad memory.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Can you block his number so that you no longer get any texts and calls from him?


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

It's OK to say you don't love him. You might have loved the person he was, or thought he was, and you could wish no harm to him, but it's totally OK on your conscience, your immortal soul, or whatever you believe in, to say to yourself that you don't love him anymore.

You did the right thing. All the best with your healing, you're doing well so far.


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## .292705 (May 28, 2017)

EleGirl said:


> Can you block his number so that you no longer get any texts and calls from him?


Yes I did once he signed the papers....and I blocked all of his email addresses as well


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## .292705 (May 28, 2017)

Satya said:


> It's OK to say you don't love him. You might have loved the person he was, or thought he was, and you could wish no harm to him, but it's totally OK on your conscience, your immortal soul, or whatever you believe in, to say to yourself that you don't love him anymore.
> 
> You did the right thing. All the best with your healing, you're doing well so far.


thank you ... your saying that means more than I can possibly express ... I do struggle with guilt.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

justsimplylisa said:


> thank you ... your saying that means more than I can possibly express ... I do struggle with guilt.


You're welcome, @justsimplylisa. 

And so did I. It takes time to lose that guilt but the process starts as small as someone else allowing you to accept how you really feel and be OK with it.


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