# Wife using men's restroom at bar



## SofaKingWeToddId (Feb 7, 2013)

Would you be ok if you found out your wife used the men's room at a bar? 

My wife recently had a GNO with her sister and her sister's SIL (SSIL). She got super drunk and immediately passed out when she got home. 

She got home about two hours later than she expected, and was slightly annoyed when I questioned her about her night the next day. I found out by checking her text messages the next day. SSIL asked if she remembered using the mens room and she responded saying she had to go.


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

Well you said Wife not girlfriend. So getting that drunk at a bar? Time to grow up. And I would say the same to a guy.


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## tulsy (Nov 30, 2012)

Often, the line to the women's washroom is EXTREMELY long. She was hammered drunk, so she probably didn't want to pee her pants.

Unless you have reasons to believe she was in there OTHER than to relieve herself, I wouldn't be overly concerned. It could be dangerous, depending on the establishment, but I know women who've done that. 

I would be more concerned with her getting drunk as funk, and the enablers she hangs with. Is this normal GNO stuff for her and her crew/fam?


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## SofaKingWeToddId (Feb 7, 2013)

tulsy said:


> Often, the line to the women's washroom is EXTREMELY long. She was hammered drunk, so she probably didn't want to pee her pants.
> 
> Unless you have reasons to believe she was in there OTHER than to relieve herself, I wouldn't be overly concerned. It could be dangerous, depending on the establishment, but I know women who've done that.
> 
> I would be more concerned with her getting drunk as funk, and the enablers she hangs with. Is this normal GNO stuff for her and her crew/fam?


No, she doesn't have regular GNO's. This was at a new, trendy restaurant / bar in a very nice part of town.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

that text message alone was innocuous.

If it said "do you remember going into the men's room with those two hunks last night?", then I would be rip snorting

You do not mention her age. Some time it takes a while to get out of the "college girl party phase" and into the "marriage woman phase" of life. I would suggest she not drink quite so much.


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## JustTired (Jan 22, 2012)

tulsy said:


> Often, the line to the women's washroom is EXTREMELY long. She was hammered drunk, so she probably didn't want to pee her pants.
> 
> Unless you have reasons to believe she was in there OTHER than to relieve herself, I wouldn't be overly concerned. It could be dangerous, depending on the establishment, but I know women who've done that.
> 
> I would be more concerned with her getting drunk as funk, and the enablers she hangs with. Is this normal GNO stuff for her and her crew/fam?


:iagree:


This 100%.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

I would have hoped her friends accompanied her or were aware of where she went to go to the bathroom. This is what friends do. If she left and wandered into the bathroom without her friends knowledge or them caring then there is a issue. Her safety! I'm sure your W unwittingly went to the men's room. Stuff like this happens when one is three sheets to the wind. The real question is....did her friends really look out for her?


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## SofaKingWeToddId (Feb 7, 2013)

Yeswecan said:


> I would have hoped her friends accompanied her or were aware of where she went to go to the bathroom. This is what friends do. If she left and wandered into the bathroom without her friends knowledge or them caring then there is a issue. Her safety! I'm sure your W unwittingly went to the men's room. Stuff like this happens when one is three sheets to the wind. The real question is....did her friends really look out for her?


I'm fairly certain SSIL knew what my wife was doing. Although I doubt I'll ever know for sure. I believe that my wife did it intentionally to skip the line. My wife has done this in the past, although that was when we were younger. (Prior to kids, established careers, etc..).


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## SofaKingWeToddId (Feb 7, 2013)

murphy5 said:


> that text message alone was innocuous.
> 
> If it said "do you remember going into the men's room with those two hunks last night?", then I would be rip snorting
> 
> You do not mention her age. Some time it takes a while to get out of the "college girl party phase" and into the "marriage woman phase" of life. I would suggest she not drink quite so much.


We are both in our mid/late 30's. 

Before kids, we liked to go out have fun. She has always had a difficult time knowing when to stop.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

I've used the men's room at a variety of different venues over the years. You get a girlfriend to hold your purse and/or drink. You close the stall door and go pee while your girlfriend stands there at the stall door averting her eyes if she's in line-of-sight of the urinals. Then you swap places so your girlfriend can go pee, too. You wash your hands and walk out, saying excuse me to any gentlemen you run into on your way out the door. 

The final step is to smile smugly at the 35 ladies who are doing that little gotta-pee-soooo-bad shimmy from foot to foot, while waiting in a line which appears not to have moved at all since you and your girlfriend ducked out of it, as you head back to your seat. 

Seriously, this isn't the end of the world. I've actually never even encountered any guys who thought it was that big a deal in the moment. If you don't like your wife going out drinking without you, then _there's_ where your conversation needs to center. There's nothing inherently marriage destroying about using the men's room if all you're doing in there is going to pee.

However, it sounds like your concern is more that this isn't "appropriate" behavior for someone in her position. If that's the case, then explain to her that your concern is mostly that she's embarrassing herself, and you, with her behavior.


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## SofaKingWeToddId (Feb 7, 2013)

Rowan said:


> I've used the men's room at a variety of different venues over the years. You get a girlfriend to hold your purse and/or drink. You close the stall door and go pee while your girlfriend stands there at the stall door averting her eyes if she's in line-of-sight of the urinals. Then you swap places so your girlfriend can go pee, too. You wash your hands and walk out, saying excuse me to any gentlemen you run into on your way out the door.
> 
> The final step is to smile smugly at the 35 ladies who are doing that little gotta-pee-soooo-bad shimmy from foot to foot, while waiting in a line which appears not to have moved at all since you and your girlfriend ducked out of it, as you head back to your seat.
> 
> ...


Thanks for the feedback. I haven't mentioned to her that I saw the text. I agree it isn't the end of the world. I'm a recovering "Nice Guy" so I've never been good at setting boundaries. I will probably let this issue drop.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Don't get me wrong, if you're unhappy with her going out with her friends to bars, getting plastered, behaving in ways you find embarrassing, and coming in later than she said she would, then you do need to address those issues with her. There's nothing at all wrong with raising your concerns and working with her to set some limits that will protect her, you, and your marriage. 

But if that's what you intend, don't let the issue of her using the men's restroom be a distraction from your main concerns. The conversation needs to be about what it's actually about - reasonable limits on drinking, GNO's/BNO's, and public behavior that apply to both of you as a united married couple.


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## SofaKingWeToddId (Feb 7, 2013)

Rowan said:


> Don't get me wrong, if you're unhappy with her going out with her friends to bars, getting plastered, behaving in ways you find embarrassing, and coming in later than she said she would, then you do need to address those issues with her. There's nothing at all wrong with raising your concerns and working with her to set some limits that will protect her, you, and your marriage.
> 
> But if that's what you intend, don't let the issue of her using the men's restroom be a distraction from your main concerns. The conversation needs to be about what it's actually about - reasonable limits on drinking, GNO's/BNO's, and public behavior that apply to both of you as a united married couple.


Yea, that is what I meant. My focus will be on her overall behavior, not that fact that she used the mens room. 

Thanks for your help!


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## Jetranger (May 31, 2013)

Rowan said:


> I've used the men's room at a variety of different venues over the years. You get a girlfriend to hold your purse and/or drink. You close the stall door and go pee while your girlfriend stands there at the stall door averting her eyes if she's in line-of-sight of the urinals. Then you swap places so your girlfriend can go pee, too. You wash your hands and walk out, saying excuse me


As a guy, I have no problem with women using the men's washroom if theirs is super busy and they behave discreetly and politely like this.

Maybe I haven't gone to the right bars and clubs, but generally you'd use the wheelchair accessible washroom for hanky panky...


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

Let's start by saying that my wife doesn't do GNO's in bars or clubs because I'm not OK with it, no matter who she's with. So by default, she won't be using the men's room.


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

SofaKingWeToddId said:


> I'm a recovering "Nice Guy" so I've never been good at setting boundaries. I will probably let this issue drop.



That's a big mistake, you should let her know you saw the message and at least discuss it. Maybe it's time to get an understanding on boundaries.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

SofaKingWeToddId said:


> I'm fairly certain SSIL knew what my wife was doing. Although I doubt I'll ever know for sure. I believe that my wife did it intentionally to skip the line. My wife has done this in the past, although that was when we were younger. (Prior to kids, established careers, etc..).


Well then I would not have a issue with it personally. If SSIL was watching out for her then all is good in the end. At the end of the day she was safe and arrive home same. 

However, getting obliterated when GNO occurs should be something for discussion. When does one stop that behavior?


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

SofaKingWeToddId said:


> Would you be ok if you found out your wife used the men's room at a bar?
> 
> My wife recently had a GNO with her sister and her sister's SIL (SSIL). She got super drunk and immediately passed out when she got home.
> 
> She got home about two hours later than she expected, and was slightly annoyed when I questioned her about her night the next day. I found out by checking her text messages the next day. SSIL asked if she remembered using the mens room and she responded saying she had to go.


Oh dear lord. Here we go. LOL.

The using the men's room would have been ok if it was locked. But in either case it is a symptom of the bigger issue. So no this would not have been ok with me unless someone kept men from going in. 

But the real issue is having a drunken GNO like this at all. Getting that drunk puts her at risk in many ways. Not something I would be ok with even if she did not use the men's room.

UFB. Does not sound safe at all.


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## catfan (Jan 12, 2013)

I recently used a men's room and even a toilet for handicapped, all because of lack of toilets for ladies... I don't think this is weird. Being totally drunk on a GNO and not rememering stuff is a different subject...


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## chazmataz3 (May 29, 2013)

sofa, I remember your other thread, did she ever take the poly?


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Most women avoid the men's restroom at all costs as some are just nasty. She must have been in dire need, out of her mind or childish enough to think that standing in line is for fools.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Blondilocks said:


> Most women avoid the men's restroom at all costs as some are just nasty. She must have been in dire need, out of her mind or childish enough to think that standing in line is for fools.


This is not uncommon though. Bars and sporting events. 

But still not the greatest thing in the world. She was blotto. Men's rooms can be very nasty.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Blondilocks said:


> Most women avoid the men's restroom at all costs as some are just nasty. She must have been in dire need, out of her mind or childish enough to think that standing in line is for fools.


Funny, because I've heard several women tell me how absolutely filthy and disgusting womens' bathrooms can be. I knew a girl once who, unable to hold it long enough to out wait the line for the womens' went to the mens' and exclaimed how shocked she was that it was much more sanitary than her allotted one.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Blondilocks said:


> Most women avoid the men's restroom at all costs as some are just nasty. She must have been in dire need, out of her mind or childish enough to think that standing in line is for fools.


I was a student janitor in college, yes some mens restrooms are nasty but in general all public restrooms are "nasty", women don't keep it any cleaner or take care of it better.

We had the reeking from used tampons and maxi pads, and sometimes they would be stuck into funny places. Then I'm wondering how urine gets all over the place. In my experience and other males, it wasn't any cleaner and sometimes much grosser.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

treyvion said:


> I was a student janitor in college, yes some mens restrooms are nasty but in general all public restrooms are "nasty", women don't keep it any cleaner or take care of it better.
> 
> We had the reeking from used tampons and maxi pads, and sometimes they would be stuck into funny places. Then I'm wondering how urine gets all over the place. In my experience and other males, it wasn't any cleaner and sometimes much grosser.


The 'urine all over the place' is curious. An accident from having to wait so long? Men getting revenge from when all the women are in their restroom? haha Children accompanying their moms? Who knows. 

My experience shows that a unisex restroom is *always* more disgusting than those designated as women's. A plea to the menz, when using a unisex restroom, please please put the damn seat down! Ok, you can blast me now.


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## SofaKingWeToddId (Feb 7, 2013)

chazmataz3 said:


> sofa, I remember your other thread, did she ever take the poly?


Nope. I can't bring myself to pull the trigger.


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## P51Geo1980 (Sep 25, 2013)

SofaKingWeToddId said:


> Would you be ok if you found out your wife used the men's room at a bar?
> 
> My wife recently had a GNO with her sister and her sister's SIL (SSIL). She got super drunk and immediately passed out when she got home.
> 
> She got home about two hours later than she expected, and was slightly annoyed when I questioned her about her night the next day. I found out by checking her text messages the next day. SSIL asked if she remembered using the mens room and she responded saying she had to go.


I'd laugh my a$$ off! Only because it would have been so out of character for my never-drinks-or-goes-out ex.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## wise (Sep 1, 2013)

Forgot the peeing in the bathroom thing. Pending any guys in there, they probably all made a scene and laughed as she did and that is as bad is it will get. 

However,

(1) Why do you allow your wife to go out and get completely trashed and then show up hours later than expected?

(2) Why was she annoyed when you asked her how the night went?


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Yep.... I've done it. It's a non-issue. We don't go in there looking to get laid. We go in there cuz we really really really need to pee. 

And if the GNO is a rare event..... then the whole thing is a non-issue.


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

The Middleman said:


> Let's start by saying that my wife doesn't do GNO's in bars or clubs because I'm not OK with it, no matter who she's with. So by default, she won't be using the men's room.


Well, I've stood guard at the door for my wife in restaurants, department stores, and museums. One never knows when the urge to go will strike. And I see nothing wrong with it at all.

The other subject of this thread is a different story entirely.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

When you don't drink for a long time, it's easy to go overboard. Common sense usually helps in these situations. The toilet thing is not really an issue. Even getting home late. One thing I can't stand though is when someone can't control themselves. I find it a little pathetic.


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

sidney2718 said:


> Well, I've stood guard at the door for my wife in restaurants, department stores, and museums. One never knows when the urge to go will strike. And I see nothing wrong with it at all.
> 
> 
> 
> The other subject of this thread is a different story entirely.


Actually, if it's just the men's room issue ... years ago when my wife was pregnant with our second child we had gone to Madiison Square Garden to see Rod Stewart. We went with several couples, including her brother and his wife. My wife was maybe 6 or 7 months along and she had to go. The line on the ladies room was way out in the hall. He brother and I walked her into the men's room, got a stall vacated real fast walked her in, stood guard outside the stall and walked her back out.

So I guess she's done the men's room thing, but your right that the OP's situation is completely different. This is more about GNO's and boundaries than using the men's room.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

SofaKingWeToddId said:


> Would you be ok if you found out your wife used the men's room at a bar?
> 
> My wife recently had a GNO with her sister and her sister's SIL (SSIL). She got super drunk and immediately passed out when she got home.
> 
> She got home about two hours later than she expected, and was slightly annoyed when I questioned her about her night the next day. I found out by checking her text messages the next day. SSIL asked if she remembered using the mens room and she responded saying she had to go.


Restroom be damned. I would be much more upset about her being so drunk she thought that was ok and passing out. How old is she? Is she an alcoholic?


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

GNO - red flag
getting piss drunk and losing complete control - HUGE red flag
Doing things they don't remember - even bigger HUGE red flag

All of the above are over the line if you ask me. Married woman with bunch of "who know what" girls.....getting piss drunk and out of control.......bad BAD news.

Why would your wife get herself in such a vulnerable situation. Heck, I wouldn't recommend it when single, while married that is just completely disrespectful and inappropriate to you and your marriage.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

DoF said:


> GNO - red flag
> getting piss drunk and losing complete control - HUGE red flag
> Doing things they don't remember - even bigger HUGE red flag
> 
> ...


They going to eventually find what they are looking for and a whole bunch of trouble along the way.


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

I've had sucessful (drinking, getting drunk, having fun, using the little boys room, etc.) GNOs. And by successful, I mean I didn't sleep with anyone, touch anyone, talk to anyone, etc. I don't understand what the problem is as long as it's occasional? If someone's significant other has an issue with an occasional GNO/BNO it just seems overly paranoid and controlling. 

But that's just me.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

GA HEART said:


> I've had sucessful (drinking, getting drunk, having fun, using the little boys room, etc.) GNOs. And by successful, I mean I didn't sleep with anyone, touch anyone, talk to anyone, etc. I don't understand what the problem is as long as it's occasional? If someone's significant other has an issue with an occasional GNO/BNO it just seems overly paranoid and controlling.
> 
> But that's just me.


As a woman, you are extremely vulnerable putting yourself in that kind of position.

Why does it have to be GNO?
Why can't you include your loved one? Especially if they are the only ones you can REALLY count on.

I don't have an issue with my wife going out, but label GNO itself is already setting themselves up for failure.....

Also WHO they are going out with is a BIG deal. Friends of marriage? or bunch of ****ty/horny/neglected wives?


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

GA HEART said:


> I've had sucessful (drinking, getting drunk, having fun, using the little boys room, etc.) GNOs. And by successful, I mean I didn't sleep with anyone, touch anyone, talk to anyone, etc. I don't understand what the problem is as long as it's occasional? If someone's significant other has an issue with an occasional GNO/BNO it just seems overly paranoid and controlling.
> 
> But that's just me.


I have no issue with a GNO. My wife attends these. Hell, there was a GNI(in) at our house this past weekend. However, it is never time were she or any of the girlfriends of hers get blind drunk. I truly believe there comes a time in ones life were getting completely obliterated is not necessary for a good time. 

But that's just me.


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

My ex stayed with the kiddos when I went out (MAYBE once every 6 months or so.) ANd I never got "obliterated" and always went with very trusted friends (one of whom stayed sober to be dd and handler.) My ex didn't ever WANT to go out, but I would have had no problem bringing him with if he did and we had a sitter. My current BF has suggested a GNO with my best friend of 12 years and we are going to be doing that very soon.

Still see nothing wrong with them, as long as the g/b in the gno/bno is a responsible human. *shrug*


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

GA HEART said:


> My ex stayed with the kiddos when I went out (MAYBE once every 6 months or so.) ANd I never got "obliterated" and always went with very trusted friends (one of whom stayed sober to be dd and handler.) My ex didn't ever WANT to go out, but I would have had no problem bringing him with if he did and we had a sitter. My current BF has suggested a GNO with my best friend of 12 years and we are going to be doing that very soon.
> 
> Still see nothing wrong with them, as long as the g/b in the gno/bno is a responsible human. *shrug*


My wife is the same. Few drinks. Friends that are trusted. Dinner. Usually the GNO is to celebrate on of their birthdays. It is just a good time for all. Me and the kiddos(teenagers) go to dinner and the movies on GNO. Last weekend there was a anniversary of Ghost Busters playing at the theater. My 16 year old wanted to see it. That's were we went!


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

GA HEART said:


> I've had sucessful (drinking, getting drunk, having fun, using the little boys room, etc.) GNOs. And by successful, I mean I didn't sleep with anyone, touch anyone, talk to anyone, etc. I don't understand what the problem is as long as it's occasional? If someone's significant other has an issue with an occasional GNO/BNO it just seems overly paranoid and controlling.
> 
> But that's just me.



The general TAM consensus is that women are weak willed who-res who are all just two drinks away from sliding onto the nearest male flesh pole and blowing their hitherto perfectly functional marriages into smithereens.

And, of course, all the girls she's hanging around with are bitter, cheating hoes who are enemies to marriage, her husband, and fidelity. 

A woman's best place is at home with her husband and kids, friendless, and disconnected from the world.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

jaquen said:


> The general TAM consensus is that women are weak willed who-res who are all just two drinks away from sliding onto the nearest male flesh pole and blowing their hitherto perfectly functional marriages into smithereens.
> 
> And, of course, all the girls she's hanging around with are bitter, cheating hoes who are enemies to marriage, her husband, and fidelity.
> 
> A woman's best place is at home with her husband and kids, friendless, and disconnected from the world.


You forgot: barefoot and pregnant.


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

LOL! I hadn't gotten quite that impression from the majority.......but some posts I"ve read do make me wonder! 

Excuse me, I have sandwiches to make.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

jaquen said:


> A woman's best place is at home with her husband and kids, friendless, and disconnected from the world.


You forgot bare foot and pregnant.  

J/K!


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

jaquen said:


> The general TAM consensus is that women are weak willed who-res who are all just two drinks away from sliding onto the nearest male flesh pole and blowing their hitherto perfectly functional marriages into smithereens.
> 
> And, of course, all the girls she's hanging around with are bitter, cheating hoes who are enemies to marriage, her husband, and fidelity.
> 
> A woman's best place is at home with her husband and kids, friendless, and disconnected from the world.


I think there is a world in between this and face down drunk in the men's rest room. Ah the smell of urine at 2am ...

It is not a choice between the two. That is a fallacy.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

GA HEART said:


> LOL! I hadn't gotten quite that impression from the majority.......but some posts I"ve read do make me wonder!
> 
> Excuse me, I have sandwiches to make.


And a beer. 

Just don't worry your pretty little head about any of this.

Seriously though, it is great sport for someone to come here and toss in a grenade and watch the TAM folks go. All too often you see new posters come out of no where to stir things up. Take extreme views. Fun for the whole family.

Like this one maybe.


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## BradWesley (May 24, 2013)

Talk about a sh!tty thread.


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## brendanoco (Aug 6, 2014)

SofaKingWeToddId said:


> Nope. I can't bring myself to pull the trigger.


Why not??


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## krismimo (Jan 26, 2011)

jaquen said:


> The general TAM consensus is that women are weak willed who-res who are all just two drinks away from sliding onto the nearest male flesh pole and blowing their hitherto perfectly functional marriages into smithereens.
> 
> And, of course, all the girls she's hanging around with are bitter, cheating hoes who are enemies to marriage, her husband, and fidelity.
> 
> A woman's best place is at home with her husband and kids, friendless, and disconnected from the world.


THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay here is my thing, she hasn't been out in a while he already said that. It could have been a honest mistake... it happens... now if she was doing this on a consisten regular basis as far as going out and always getting drunk with the girls it happens. I can't believe how so many people have jumped to the WORST conclusion off of one incident. If a guy did something similar no one would flinch. She was in a upscale place having dinner and drinks and now she is a alchoholic... WOW.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

jaquen said:


> The general TAM consensus is that women are weak willed who-res who are all just two drinks away from sliding onto the nearest male flesh pole and blowing their hitherto perfectly functional marriages into smithereens.
> 
> And, of course, all the girls she's hanging around with are bitter, cheating hoes who are enemies to marriage, her husband, and fidelity.
> 
> A woman's best place is at home with her husband and kids, friendless, and disconnected from the world.


Unfortunately while this isn't always true, sometimes the bleak reality you painted IS the truth.


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## memyselfandi (Jan 10, 2012)

No chick wants to pick up a guy in the guy's can.

Seriously!!

When there's a line for the girl's can..when ya gotta go.ya gotta go..PRONTO!!


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## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

SofaKingWeToddId said:


> Would you be ok if you found out your wife used the men's room at a bar?
> 
> My wife recently had a GNO with her sister and her sister's SIL (SSIL). She got super drunk and immediately passed out when she got home.
> 
> She got home about two hours later than she expected, and was slightly annoyed when I questioned her about her night the next day. I found out by checking her text messages the next day. SSIL asked if she remembered using the mens room and she responded saying she had to go.


Only on the above alone I would aready mention the possibility that "if she remembered using the mens room" and "she responded saying she had to go"could be code talk for checking if she was so drunk as not to remember she had sex with that guy in the mens room, and the answer that she does, and just had to satisfy the urge for getting banged by that guy.

But seeing 

- 'your other tread' + 'asking for lie detector test' + 'you being a nice guy' 

- The being drunk and being 2 hours late

I tell you she had a one night stand.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

I've used the mens restroom. The womens line is often long, I don't understand why women take forever but they do. Geez, get in and get the hell out, but maybe that's the army in me talking.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hannah77 (Sep 14, 2014)

I haven't read all the responses so I'm not sure if someone said this already, but that is EXTREMELY DANGEROUS. I knew a girl in college who used the men's restroom at a bar and was raped. It was one of those really small bathrooms and the music was really loud. He dragged her into the stall and raped her. We assume anyone in the bathroom or outside of it just thought it was consensual sex or couldn't hear her because no one came to her aid. They never caught the guy.

There is a reason men's and women's bathrooms are separate. It's better to wait in a long line than to risk an attack.

Getting black out drunk is never good for anyone. You need to tell her to be more careful and keep an eye out to make sure this is isn't regular behavior. People do stupid things when they are drunk that put them in dangerous situations.


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## Kylie84 (May 4, 2012)

I am a woman who on multiple occasions have ducked into a mens restroom to use the toilet when there has been epic lines at the women's. 
I have never seen a man's junk in my dash in, most of the time the toilets/urinals have been empty and where there has been someone there I have put my hand up to the side of my face called out "sorry I can't hold it!" and ran straight into a cubical.
No one has been offended, least of all my DH.
I haven't done this on a girls night out (I don't go on those anyway) but regardless, the mens toilets is a place for emptying one's bladder etc NOT to hook up with randoms.
You have said that this night out isn't a regular gig, if it was I'd be more concerned about THAT. I really think you have nothing to worry about.
As previous posters have already said, women generally take ages and must have smaller bladders or something... every time you walk into a women's restroom it is almost always full and you have to wait. If you REALLY have to go and there is a queue but no queue at the mens then why the hell would you wait?


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## Kylie84 (May 4, 2012)

hannah77 said:


> I haven't read all the responses so I'm not sure if someone said this already, but that is EXTREMELY DANGEROUS. I knew a girl in college who used the men's restroom at a bar and was raped. It was one of those really small bathrooms and the music was really loud. He dragged her into the stall and raped her. We assume anyone in the bathroom or outside of it just thought it was consensual sex or couldn't hear her because no one came to her aid. They never caught the guy.
> 
> There is a reason men's and women's bathrooms are separate. It's better to wait in a long line than to risk an attack.
> 
> Getting black out drunk is never good for anyone. You need to tell her to be more careful and keep an eye out to make sure this is isn't regular behavior. People do stupid things when they are drunk that put them in dangerous situations.


This is terrible for that poor girl 
But a rape can happen even in a woman's restroom.
Most cases it is acceptable to go to a toilet if you need to go.
I have been to places where there is one toilet for everyone to share and have never seen issues surrounding that.
I think this situation with OP's wife is being blown WAAAY out of proportion.
He said himself he is more concerned about her drunk behavior than the toilet visit itself.
Maybe OP you can tell her you saw the text and would appreciate her not drinking so much if she were to go out again and if she HAS to use the mens again, take a friend with her just in case


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

JustTired said:


> :iagree:
> 
> 
> This 100%.


 Bull $h!t. If a guy went in a ladies room and relieved himself, he would be in jail.

Boils down to this. If you can't handle you booze then learn real quick before you get your ass in a sling.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

I work at a bar deejaying when the husband is working an outside gig (you can imagine the stories we both have to tell...alcohol and people ...not a great mix).

I've used the men's room when there wasn't any available in the women's room (only two stalls per bathroom). Better than pissing in the bush behind the building.

My convictions and morals are strong. I can handle myself physically if I need to and everyone loves the deejays anyway there (meaning no one would have the nuts or lower lips big enough to come at either of us).

The times I've had to tap one of the bouncers on the shoulder and say something are when I'm in the deejay boothe and some snotty girl drunk off her rocker is giving me an alcohol induced hard time...

It is usually the women who are way worse than the men for stupid stuff when they drink.

Like getting my caravan grinded or my new van trunk barrel rolled (she bounced off my trunk door) by a drunk ass woman who prior to this sucker punched another woman, kicked the crap out of the taxi from the inside and ran screaming down the street after a full on tatrum hissy fit (literally like a 2 year old on the ground kicking, punching and screaming like a little biotch)


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## SofaKingWeToddId (Feb 7, 2013)

See_Listen_Love said:


> Only on the above alone I would aready mention the possibility that "if she remembered using the mens room" and "she responded saying she had to go"could be code talk for checking if she was so drunk as not to remember she had sex with that guy in the mens room, and the answer that she does, and just had to satisfy the urge for getting banged by that guy.
> 
> But seeing
> 
> ...


I didn't want to mention my other thread because I knew it would bias a lot of opinions. 

So for those that are curious, yes I suspect my wife had an affair with a co-worker a few years ago. She still works with the guy and it has been very difficult for me. She has denied my accusations. I have some circumstantial evidence, but nothing definitive. I have pondered whether or not to ask her to take a polygraph. 

I trust the people that my wife was with on the GNO. I obviously have some trust issues with my wife, hence the reason I posted this thread. 

That being said, I don't believe my wife did anything on the GNO. I just wanted opinions if people thought it was appropriate for a married woman to use the mens room at a bar.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

hannah77 said:


> I haven't read all the responses so I'm not sure if someone said this already, but that is EXTREMELY DANGEROUS. I knew a girl in college who used the men's restroom at a bar and was raped. It was one of those really small bathrooms and the music was really loud. He dragged her into the stall and raped her. We assume anyone in the bathroom or outside of it just thought it was consensual sex or couldn't hear her because no one came to her aid. They never caught the guy.
> 
> There is a reason men's and women's bathrooms are separate. It's better to wait in a long line than to risk an attack.
> 
> Getting black out drunk is never good for anyone. You need to tell her to be more careful and keep an eye out to make sure this is isn't regular behavior. People do stupid things when they are drunk that put them in dangerous situations.


There are millions of uni-sex bathrooms all over the world. 

This is needlessly alarmist. Most women are not raped in a mens' bathroom. If a man is going to rape a woman he does not need to wait until one randomly stumbles into our restroom.


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## Kylie84 (May 4, 2012)

SofaKingWeToddId said:


> I didn't want to mention my other thread because I knew it would bias a lot of opinions.
> 
> So for those that are curious, yes I suspect my wife had an affair with a co-worker a few years ago. She still works with the guy and it has been very difficult for me. She has denied my accusations. I have some circumstantial evidence, but nothing definitive. I have pondered whether or not to ask her to take a polygraph.
> 
> ...


Ooooohhhh ok.... based on this info, I would be pushing the polygraph for that previous situation. 
Based on your question in bold above- yes i would say it is perfectly fine- for a 'normal' wife who you can trust.


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## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

Why on earth would a friend ask for this the next day: 

"if she remembered using the mens room"

Because it is really not a problem like many posters advise.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

If she had to use the men's room when we were out at a bar, it would be no problem. I would go with her to keep her safe. If she was out without me, I would worry for her safety. It means there are so many people there, if something should happen, it's possible no one would notice or come to her rescue.


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

SofaKing

Next time your wife has to use the mens room I hope you are with her and you take her into the stall to help her with her zipper. 

HM


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

I've been married 35 years. After being pissed off at the women's restroom not having enough stalls and it taking women much longer to go to the bathroom and waiting behind half a dozen women at any give time and watching men just whisk in and out of their bathrooms...yeah, I've used the men's bathroom several times. And lo and behold, I wasn't cheating! I just needed to freakin' pee!


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## ILoveSparkles (Oct 28, 2013)

I was in Boston at the building that used to be the 'Fleet Center' - hell, the name of that venue has changed so many times I can't keep track! DH and I still refer to it as the 'Fleet Center' -lol!

My first experience in a men's room was there while at a Madonna concert. Myself and another woman ran in to the men's room together and used a stall. The guys never flinched or said anything. If anything, they were amused. With that said, the majority of the men were probably gay - it was a Madonna concert after all! :rofl:

I've done other men's rooms - most ignore or laugh when they see women sneak in. I just make sure I have someone who I trust know where I am to make sure I'm safe.


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## Youngster (Sep 5, 2014)

Well, I guess I'm the stiff around here. I've always felt that this was inappropriate and I dislike it. A man in the women's restroom would cause all sorts of alarms. If men shouldn't be using the ladies room, ladies shouldn't be using the men's room. We're all about equal rights aren't we?

I've seen this happen at sporting events where men and boys are using the restroom. It happened to my son (around 10 y.o. at the time) and I, he didn't like it either. 

I can understand the ladies frustration with having to wait in long lines to use the bathroom(I have BPH, I always have to pee). I truly feel for you. Having said this, both genders should show some respect for themselves, and those around them. Stick with your gender specific restroom, there's a reason they didn't make one big bathroom in the first place.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

At places like a stadium, there is simply a trough for men to urinate. There will be a lot of ****(s) hanging out there, in both senses of the word.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

I should have said...I only do it when the men's room is empty!


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