# Please advise



## celticbhoy (Nov 10, 2011)

My partner and I have been together 12 years; we have two kids 11 and 8. We got together quiet young; she was 18 and I 21. We got together really quickly and had our 1st child within our 1st year of our relationship; this new life together was great. The 1st few years we didn’t see any problems and we had another child, soon after I lost my job, and spent most of the time looking after the kids as my partner had a steady job with good income. Time passed by and I realised that I was becoming depressed, and mourning the death of my brother that had died only weeks before I met my partner. I didn’t mention this to her at the time. Later when both kids were at school, I was spending more time alone, becoming more depressed, by now it was time to tell my partner, anyway we spoke about and I seen a doctor, got some meds for depression and stress. 
I had always been a sociable drinker, but I seemed to have been spending more time in the house drinking, and now my partner was thinking this was becoming a problem. By now it has been 3 years since I had worked and been drinking at home a little more than I would have usually. To cover up the drinking I started drinking at bars and restaurants so I thought I could hide it from my partner. She seen that the drinking was a problem and told me we had to sort it out, or our relationship was over. I agreed and went to a rehab and spent 8 weeks on a programme, I didn’t drink for a few weeks after leaving. The drinking continued and so did the fights and nights out the house and countless nights on the sofa. All this due to drink, it would be 1-2 days drinking, then nothing the rest of the week, but then drinking days went 3-4 days a week and so on.
I love this woman, and though we aren’t married we have been together 12 years, its feels like a marriage in ways. 
She put me out the house almost 7 weeks ago, I went away for almost 5 weeks and didn’t see her, I only called to talk to my kids, no more that 1 or 2 seconds did I talk to my partner. Since leaving I have returned and am staying with a family member not too far away, and haven’t touched a drink in almost 7 weeks now.
My kids come to see me whenever they like, and I keep them 3 days a week for my now ex-partner to work, although they don’t stay over. I want my family back I don’t know what to. She has told me it’s over, that she has no love for me that she stopped loving me a long time ago. I have tried talking to her but it’s as if she has no feelings for me, I have pleaded with her to give me a chance to work things out, even suggested marriage/couple consoling. But it’s like she has giving up on our relationship already. Please I need help.
I haven’t had a drink, and don’t intend too, as I know that would only increases my depression, I have seen a doctor who has changed my meds and I’m doing all I can to get my own life back on tracks.


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## Bartimaus (Oct 15, 2011)

I believe that people drink like you do because they are not happy in their spirit with the way life is or has become. Sometimes we can't see or come to grips as to why we are like we are. 
Social programs are good and do help alot of people. But my suggestion to you would be to force yourself to finding a church where the people there and God can help you. And who knows,depending on your womans religious views,it could possibly get her to reconsider. You may be an atheist and hate God and christains for all I know,but when all else has failed,God is willing to help you. And,the different friends and change of setting will be good for you mentally. And God doesn't demand you be like other christains or a holy joe. Just give it a try.


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## celticbhoy (Nov 10, 2011)

Bartimaus said:


> I believe that people drink like you do because they are not happy in their spirit with the way life is or has become. Sometimes we can't see or come to grips as to why we are like we are.
> Social programs are good and do help alot of people. But my suggestion to you would be to force yourself to finding a church where the people there and God can help you. And who knows,depending on your womans religious views,it could possibly get her to reconsider. You may be an atheist and hate God and christains for all I know,but when all else has failed,God is willing to help you. And,the different friends and change of setting will be good for you mentally. And God doesn't demand you be like other christains or a holy joe. Just give it a try.


Thank you for your kind words, i am a christain and i have turned to God before, Im not going down the road of drink, ill ge my mental health fixed and god knows ill be there for my kids.


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