# My husband was aggressive with me when I tried to have sex



## K_reyna (Jul 7, 2021)

Hello! I wrote in another post about how I want to have sex more often and that my husband doesn't make me feel desired. Well, we were laying down on bed while hugging and it was about to have sex, cuz I was waiting all the day with arousal. He was tired but wanted to do as he says to "cooperate" with me not because he wants me. And I told him that I'd like to show the new sexy underwear I bought recently and he said another time when it's not so late so he can give me a better react for that. But I said it is ok anyway, and I asked if he would like to see it anyway cuz it looks great on me (this is me trying to make myself feel desired by saying about myself that I am desirable) and after all he said ok but I wasn't feeling really in the mood to do that anymore. Instead I chose to take off my clothes and jump on top of him ( also me on my attempt to make it less boring) at which he said angrily "I'm not a toy or movie or your dream" and pushed me. So I started crying. I'm in shock, cuz I never ever heard of a man to push a half naked woman trying to have sex, to literally run away from this. And I cried and we said painful things to each other and then he tried to show me "same" as I did and started touch me agressively which just made me cry even more and also feeling pain some parts of my body. 
I am sad, I am disappointed and shocked that things like this are really possible. The stereotype says men always want sex ( of course not completely true as us woman can have a high sex drive too) but to push me? To be aggressive and to show me so obviously that he doesn't find me desirable and no matter how much I said "just admit you're not attracted by me" he doesn't admit. 
I can understand, that's him, we are incompatible especially on this side but that doesn't excuse him for hurt me both emotionally and physically. 
Honestly, I wanna get the power to break up with him or /and find the happiness and satisfaction somewhere else. It's enough clear to me that I can't be happy with him and that I don't deserve this. I deserve to feel desired like anyone else does. 
But I don't have that power and courage, I love him.. I just wish I don't. 
I feel so stupid for accepting this.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Your feelings are justified. If my wife shows up to bed in her worst granny panties I’m going to tap that no matter what.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

K_reyna said:


> Hello! I wrote in another post about how I want to have sex more often and that my husband doesn't make me feel desired. Well, we were laying down on bed while hugging and it was about to have sex, cuz I was waiting all the day with arousal. He was tired but wanted to do as he says to "cooperate" with me not because he wants me. And I told him that I'd like to show the new sexy underwear I bought recently and he said another time when it's not so late so he can give me a better react for that. But I said it is ok anyway, and I asked if he would like to see it anyway cuz it looks great on me (this is me trying to make myself feel desired by saying about myself that I am desirable) and after all he said ok but I wasn't feeling really in the mood to do that anymore. *Instead I chose to take off my clothes and jump on top of him *( also me on my attempt to make it less boring) at which he said angrily "I'm not a toy or movie or your dream" and pushed me. So I started crying. I'm in shock, cuz I never ever heard of a man to push a half naked woman trying to have sex, to literally run away from this. And I cried and we said painful things to each other and then he tried to show me "same" as I did and started touch me agressively which just made me cry even more and also feeling pain some parts of my body.
> I am sad, I am disappointed and shocked that things like this are really possible. The stereotype says men always want sex ( of course not completely true as us woman can have a high sex drive too) but to push me? To be aggressive and to show me so obviously that he doesn't find me desirable and no matter how much I said "just admit you're not attracted by me" he doesn't admit.
> I can understand, that's him, we are incompatible especially on this side but that doesn't excuse him for hurt me both emotionally and physically.
> Honestly, I wanna get the power to break up with him or /and find the happiness and satisfaction somewhere else. It's enough clear to me that I can't be happy with him and that I don't deserve this. I deserve to feel desired like anyone else does.
> ...


I want you to think about this. Even within marriages, we are very willing to see this as assault if it were the man who did this to the woman when she had previously said, "no". It really is no different that you did it. That doesn't make his response right, but it doesn't put you in the right.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

While the stereo type is that men want sex all the time, it's a false stereo type. Men are as likely as women to choose to make their marriage sexless. A marriage where there is sex 10 or fewer times a year is considered sexless.

Here's a link to a thread that has info that might help you. It's a very long thread to read at least the first few pages to see the posted resources.

The Sex Starved Wife | Talk About Marriage

You say that you love your husband. Consider that it might be the idea of who you thought he was that your are in love with. You might not really be in love with who he really is... a cruel man.


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## K_reyna (Jul 7, 2021)

maquiscat said:


> I want you to think about this. Even within marriages, we are very willing to see this as assault if it were the man who did this to the woman when she had previously said, "no". It really is no different that you did it. That doesn't make his response right, but it doesn't put you in the right.


We were preparing to do it, with mutual consent. I wasn't forcing him. He just didn't like the way I started it.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Your husband is NOT a good match for you.
What he did was mean. And very few men wouldn’t want what you did. Are you an unattractive woman to other men? If not, you need a different guy


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

He was “accommodating” you and didn’t react well — understatement — to what you were doing. It’s likely to happen again so you will have to decide what you’re going to do in the long-term.


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## K_reyna (Jul 7, 2021)

Evinrude58 said:


> Your husband is NOT a good match for you.
> What he did was mean. And very few men wouldn’t want what you did. Are you an unattractive woman to other men? If not, you need a different guy


Yes, I agree. 
No, I'm not unattractive to other men, that's why I'm even more surprised by his sexual behavior towards me. 
It wasn't like this when it was the beginning of relationship, he used to say that I'm so attractive and that he loves the way I look and it even happened that he was more in the mood than I was (not very often but more than now) and those are some happy memories to me. 

But the reaction he had this time affected me a bit too much. Remembering how aggressively he touched me, makes me burst into tears.


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## karmagoround (Aug 27, 2021)

K_reyna said:


> Hello! I wrote in another post about how I want to have sex more often and that my husband doesn't make me feel desired. Well, we were laying down on bed while hugging and it was about to have sex, cuz I was waiting all the day with arousal. He was tired but wanted to do as he says to "cooperate" with me not because he wants me. And I told him that I'd like to show the new sexy underwear I bought recently and he said another time when it's not so late so he can give me a better react for that. But I said it is ok anyway, and I asked if he would like to see it anyway cuz it looks great on me (this is me trying to make myself feel desired by saying about myself that I am desirable) and after all he said ok but I wasn't feeling really in the mood to do that anymore. Instead I chose to take off my clothes and jump on top of him ( also me on my attempt to make it less boring) at which he said angrily "I'm not a toy or movie or your dream" and pushed me. So I started crying. I'm in shock, cuz I never ever heard of a man to push a half naked woman trying to have sex, to literally run away from this. And I cried and we said painful things to each other and then he tried to show me "same" as I did and started touch me agressively which just made me cry even more and also feeling pain some parts of my body.
> I am sad, I am disappointed and shocked that things like this are really possible. The stereotype says men always want sex ( of course not completely true as us woman can have a high sex drive too) but to push me? To be aggressive and to show me so obviously that he doesn't find me desirable and no matter how much I said "just admit you're not attracted by me" he doesn't admit.
> I can understand, that's him, we are incompatible especially on this side but that doesn't excuse him for hurt me both emotionally and physically.
> Honestly, I wanna get the power to break up with him or /and find the happiness and satisfaction somewhere else. It's enough clear to me that I can't be happy with him and that I don't deserve this. I deserve to feel desired like anyone else does.
> ...


I can tell you for certain that not all men are like that. In fact, your man is extraordinary in that he a real *_*. 

And you need to get away from him asap.


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

ccpowerslave said:


> Your feelings are justified. If my wife shows up to bed in her worst granny panties I’m going to tap that no matter what.


Lol


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## AndStilliRise (Nov 9, 2020)

K_reyna said:


> Hello! I wrote in another post about how I want to have sex more often and that my husband doesn't make me feel desired. Well, we were laying down on bed while hugging and it was about to have sex, cuz I was waiting all the day with arousal. He was tired but wanted to do as he says to "cooperate" with me not because he wants me. And I told him that I'd like to show the new sexy underwear I bought recently and he said another time when it's not so late so he can give me a better react for that. But I said it is ok anyway, and I asked if he would like to see it anyway cuz it looks great on me (this is me trying to make myself feel desired by saying about myself that I am desirable) and after all he said ok but I wasn't feeling really in the mood to do that anymore. Instead I chose to take off my clothes and jump on top of him ( also me on my attempt to make it less boring) at which he said angrily "I'm not a toy or movie or your dream" and pushed me. So I started crying. I'm in shock, cuz I never ever heard of a man to push a half naked woman trying to have sex, to literally run away from this. And I cried and we said painful things to each other and then he tried to show me "same" as I did and started touch me agressively which just made me cry even more and also feeling pain some parts of my body.
> I am sad, I am disappointed and shocked that things like this are really possible. The stereotype says men always want sex ( of course not completely true as us woman can have a high sex drive too) but to push me? To be aggressive and to show me so obviously that he doesn't find me desirable and no matter how much I said "just admit you're not attracted by me" he doesn't admit.
> I can understand, that's him, we are incompatible especially on this side but that doesn't excuse him for hurt me both emotionally and physically.
> Honestly, I wanna get the power to break up with him or /and find the happiness and satisfaction somewhere else. It's enough clear to me that I can't be happy with him and that I don't deserve this. I deserve to feel desired like anyone else does.
> ...


He is abusive, emotionally and physically. Please make an exit plan to get out safely. You are worth more than how you are being treated


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## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

maquiscat said:


> I want you to think about this. Even within marriages, we are very willing to see this as assault if it were the man who did this to the woman when she had previously said, "no". It really is no different that you did it. That doesn't make his response right, but it doesn't put you in the right.


While I agree with this, I'm not sure it applies here. The post reads as if they were both preparing to have sex, he just didn't care about seeing the panties.


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## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

I


ccpowerslave said:


> Your feelings are justified. If my wife shows up to bed in her worst granny panties I’m going to tap that no matter what.


I'm dead!


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## Mrs Kisses (Sep 25, 2021)

Unfortunately,I can relate…My husband never pushed me though ,that’s totally unacceptable ! I wish I had advice to offer but all I can say at this point is you’re not alone . I’m going through something similar with my husband and I understand how painful and frustrating it can be 😞 I


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

"There are times that you feel you're part of the scenery
All the greenery is comin' down, boy
And then your wife seems to think you're part of the furniture
Oh, it's peculiar, she used to be so nice
When lonely days turn to lonely nights
You take a trip to the city lights
And take the long way home
Take the long way home
-snip-
When you look through the years and see what you could have been
Oh, what you might have been
If you would have more time
So when the day comes to settle down
Who's to blame if you're not around?
You took the long way home"

ignoring and minimalizing your emotional needs is cruel
as cruel as a slap to the face. 
Arranging the schedule so to be always tired when alone time happens is manipulative.
As manipulative as stealing your money.
they always say they love you while they are in the midst of doing this to you.
But they don't. You really are just part of the furniture. Window dressing to make their sick and twisted world look normal.

See a lawyer.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I don't know how you ended up with this guy, but you two are not compatible and now it's just abusive, so you need to quit living in a dream world that it's going to change and just get away and out of the relationship and have a decent relationship with someone else.


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## K_reyna (Jul 7, 2021)

Mrs Kisses said:


> Unfortunately,I can relate…My husband never pushed me though ,that’s totally unacceptable ! I wish I had advice to offer but all I can say at this point is you’re not alone . I’m going through something similar with my husband and I understand how painful and frustrating it can be 😞 I


Oh I'm sorry to hear about that. But I can feel the empathy for you. 
If it's not a bother for you, I would like to talk on private message 🙂


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## Mrs Kisses (Sep 25, 2021)

K_reyna said:


> Oh I'm sorry to hear about that. But I can feel the empathy for you.
> If it's not a bother for you, I would like to talk on private message 🙂


Sure we can talk privately


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