# What do you think



## frank29 (Aug 22, 2012)

Hi My girl friend and i parted company about 17 months ago not because of infidelity but we could never agree on anything i said some thing she would go the opposite a very long drawn out relationship so in the end i said had enough i am off and left .A month went by and i was told that she was quiet happy in another relationship so go away i dont think she was seeing anybody else before but i think one of her family or friends fixed her up with someone and she was happy she said when she meet him she had a warm and fuzzy feeling for him straight away so i thought ok that is that As time went on i had a couple of issues which i wanted to know about so i text her and said how about a cup of tea in your local cafe or where ever she replied no so after a while i replied ok i do not understand why but if that is what you want ok i am not trying to get you back or wish to harm you in any way but you will have lost the best friend you ever had she replied i dont know how it has come to this but of course i will have a cup of tea with you and sent me an email as well.since then 6 months ago we have meet 3 times first time i kept it to ten minutes all very light the second time i notice she had put on loads of weight so afterwards i sent her a email and said you are getting to heavy, reply was not as expected lots of abuse but said she knew roll forward 4 months and in she comes dress very smartly lost loads of weight nice and thin and lots of changes made new car brought that week and full of smiles what do you think she is trying to say to me


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## MovingAhead (Dec 27, 2012)

She might be saying to you, 'Learn to use punctuation and capitalization. Space out your sentences and avoid run on sentences.'

I'm sorry, but I really have a hard time reading the garbled walls of texts.

I was getting through the gist of it up until the point where you called her fat. Then I slapped my forehead with the palm of my hand and thought to myself, wow...

You don't ever volunteer to a woman that she looks fat and if they ever ask the question, 'Does this dress make me look fat?' These are what NOT to say:

"Not to Stevie Wonder."

"Big time! That's why I'm sleeping with your best friend."

"No way! You look least fat in that."

"I guess there's not much point in asking if you mean 'fat' with an F or 'phat' with a PH."

"No hablo ingles."

"Yes, but it also makes you look like a pricey hooker, so things balance out."

"No, but taking it off sure does."

"If I answer that question, then the terrorists have won."

"Okay, listen: what's important is that you not focus in a negative way on the comparison I'm about to make."

"Not if you were traveling at the speed of light."

"Yes, but in my country, obesity suggests prosperity."

"Let me jog around to your front and take a look."

"No, honey. But just to be safe, steer clear of one-legged sea captains."

"Whoa! A talking couch!"

"May I consult the Iraqi Information Minister before answering that?"

So let's start with never calling our love interest 'fat'...


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## Headspin (May 13, 2012)

MovingAhead said:


> She might be saying to you, 'Learn to use punctuation and capitalization. Space out your sentences and avoid run on sentences.'


:rofl:

Took the words right out of my mouth!


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## Differentguy (Oct 3, 2013)

"Let me jog around to your front and take a look."

I can't LIKE this post enough. Hilarious.


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## frank29 (Aug 22, 2012)

To all of the above i had a poor education and you think that it is funny to ridicule some one i live in despair of some of you guys i asked a question not a lesson in English if you have nothing constructive to say dont put people down


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## MovingAhead (Dec 27, 2012)

Use spaces is all... Tab...

You called her fat and she lost weight... She probably didn't like being called fat. Don't call girls fat.


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## ScubaSteve61 (Mar 20, 2012)

frank29 said:


> To all of the above i had a poor education and you think that it is funny to ridicule some one i live in despair of some of you guys i asked a question not a lesson in English if you have nothing constructive to say dont put people down


Does her boyfriend know she is meeting you?


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## TBT (Dec 20, 2011)

Hi frank,I don't think your ex gf's response should be unexpected when you brought up her weight.That's a no no with a lot of people.As for the last time you saw her,maybe she's saying 'well look at me now! Look,but don't touch.'


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## frank29 (Aug 22, 2012)

MovingAhead said:


> Use spaces is all... Tab...
> 
> You called her fat and she lost weight... She probably didn't like being called fat. Don't call girls fat.


I said a little heavy and all she said i know and lost weight and looked good for it so what is your point and she is no longer my love interest as you implied perhaps you should read post properly


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## frank29 (Aug 22, 2012)

ScubaSteve61 said:


> Does her boyfriend know she is meeting you?


Yes i said tell your man where you are going and who you are meeting if he gets upset dont come


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## tulsy (Nov 30, 2012)

ScubaSteve61 said:


> Does her boyfriend know she is meeting you?


Right?

Dude, she moved on, so should you. Have tea with someone else. 

If she's trying to tell you anything it that she's doing just fine.


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## ScubaSteve61 (Mar 20, 2012)

frank29 said:


> Yes i said tell your man where you are going and who you are meeting if he gets upset dont come


I can honestly say that if my gf wanted to go hang out with her ex, I would be very against it. 

So did she really tell him?


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## MovingAhead (Dec 27, 2012)

Frank,

You need a female to male universal translator. They sell those at all the Star Trek ships...

You say ANYTHING about a woman's weight not being ideal and sexy and even .000001 oz or .00034 mg over the perfect desired weight, you are calling them fat. You don't have to say the word 'fat' because the male to female translation that goes from your logic to her emotion automatically does the translation for you.

To her, you called her 'fat'.

She could be wanting to make her BF jealous
She may not have a BF who cares or is not interested in her
She could be showing off how she is not fat anymore
She could be hungry and wanting a free meal


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## MovingAhead (Dec 27, 2012)

She isn't going to go and marry someone else just to make you jealous...


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

frank29 said:


> To all of the above i had a poor education and you think that it is funny to ridicule some one i live in despair of some of you guys i asked a question not a lesson in English if you have nothing constructive to say dont put people down



You should not have contacted your ex...Not taken "no" for an answer. You are NOT "the best friend she has ever had". 

You also put her down commenting about her body at all is inappropriate and not a "friend" kind of thing to do.

Now you are wondering what she's trying to tell you? What makes you think any of this is about you?

Why are you so concerned with your Ex?


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## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

Frank,

Walk away. There is no point in ever looking back and opening old wounds. Move on and find someone else. Life does get better.

Clay


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

MovingAhead said:


> Use spaces is all... Tab...
> 
> You called her fat and she lost weight... She probably didn't like being called fat. Don't call girls fat.


I suppose that is a bad way to start the conversation.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

frank, what are you trying to accomplish with this "friendship"? Are you trying to steal her away from her current BF? Are you trying to hold on to something that will not be coming back? Are you looking to retain a friendship that's purely platonic with her moving forward?

I have no idea why you put this in the CWI forum, but from what it looks like you are acting like a guy phishing to start an affair with your ex. If that is your goal, then I guess you keep doing what you are doing. So my question to you would be: Would you be open to having your new GF regularly meet her ex BF for tea/coffee and to maintain a friendship? If so, then you have boundary issues. If not, then you are a hypocrite. Either way, what you are doing is not right.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

What she's trying to tell you is that she lost lots of weight but since you were an a$$ and criticized her for it you don't get to enjoy it. Welcome to women 101.
Oh, and the best friend she ever had isn't going to criticize her weight. Health suggests maybe, gentle suggestions maybe, not not criticism. Get over yourself and leave her alone.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## frank29 (Aug 22, 2012)

tom67 said:


> I suppose that is a bad way to start the conversation.


I did not call her fat just heavy and she has done something about it and looked good for it and told her so
As for moving on i have moved on good girlfriend good life very good friends no problems after a very long relationship i felt she was not taking care health wise and all the problems that being heavy brings how long was the relationship 28 years


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## LostViking (Mar 26, 2013)

Her weight and health are none of your concern. 

Her life situation is not your concern. 

She is an ex for a reason: the two of you do not get along. 

frank29, you need to let her go, concentrate on your new girlfriend and tend to your own knitting.


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## CouldItBeSo (Mar 11, 2013)

What are you talking about with her?


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

frank,

You simply posted in the wrong forum. We deal with infidelity issues here. Find another forum that's more appropriate for whatever you're asking advice for.


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

She showing you and herself that she has moved on. She took your breakup well by improving herself. That is why she lost weight.

Dont know if you have kids together? Did you write that you and her been together for 28 years?

There is no need for her to try to win you back. She has improved herself and moved on (like you have, as you said).


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

i kept it to ten minutes all very light the second time i notice she had put on loads of weight so afterwards i sent her a email and said you are getting to heavy, reply was not as expected lots of abuse but said she knew roll forward 4 months and in she comes dress very smartly lost loads of weight nice and thin and lots of changes made new car brought that week and full of smiles* what do you think she is trying to say to me *


1. She is telling you that she is not heavy.
2. She is telling you that she is pretty and atrractive.
3. She is telling you that she is doing OK.
4. She is telling you "full of smiles", that she is doing great without you in her life.

It takes a long time to get over a relationship that had lasted as long as your's did. When you had enough you bailed out and this is to your credit. 

I would move on. And when the need to contact her again arises, stop, and tell yourself, "I am OK without her" and just move on.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

This is the type of stuff that plants seeds for those future infidelity stories about WS's using social media to reconnect with old flames. You're not exercising good boundaries if you are still seeing your ex socially - one on one - and trying to carry on a new relationship with another GF. The past should remain in the past when it comes to these types of relationships. Now it's different if your ex is not seeing anyone and you aren't either. But keeping in contact when you are supposed to be moving on with a new girl is a recipe for disaster. 

Is your new GF cool with you having coffee dates with your ex or is her BF OK with it?

ETA: Who cares if your ex was sending you any message or not by changing her appearance. It's over with.


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