# Is it possible to find only one woman beautiful or only one man handsome?



## shivamirage (Aug 2, 2012)

I have found some people who say their husbands or wives are the only beautiful or handsome people for them.They feel that because they are madly in love.I wonder if there are some other people out there who thinks the same.


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## EynaraWolf (Aug 26, 2010)

I find attractive men attractive, but beautiful? My husband is the only truly beautiful man to me. Even though he's not as psychically fit as he once was. He's gotten some freaky scars in places over the years--including one in the middle of his forehead. His hair is graying. But those are not the things that make him a beautiful person to me. Its the way he looks at me. It's the way he holds me when I cry. It's the way he's there for me when I need him. Its the way he smiles when I can actually get him to blush about something naughty. Its the way he loves our daughters. Its the way he loves me. His face is the one I want to see when I go to bed at night and the one I want to see when I wake up in the morning.

There are many attractive people in this world, but there is only one person who lets me be close enough to him to see the beauty within.


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## alton (Jul 18, 2012)

Me and the wife always call other men/women pretty/handsome or whatever. If my wife told me i'm the only guy she thinks is handsome I'd think 'thats nice of you to say, but clearly not true!'

On the other hand I don't really find other women attractive, get turned on or get blown away by someones beauty... only the wife can do that!


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

shivamirage said:


> I have found some people who say their husbands or wives are the only beautiful or handsome people for them.They feel that because they are madly in love.I wonder if there are some other people out there who thinks the same.


No, not possible, IMO. The things that make one man or woman attractive are not exclusive to that person. You can choose to dedicate yourself completely to one person, but there will always be other good looking people, even if they really don't matter because you're in love.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
Love is in the presence of the love maker.

A person's perception is often their own reality, so that in this life , anything is possible.
I love my wife,and I think she is beautiful....
But I also see beautiful women of every race and description ,walking the streets,
EVERYDAY!


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

For me it's the most wonderful feeling ever. I'm aware intellectually that my husband is middle aged and yet I can't see it. I love him so much that I see nothing but beauty. Beauty in the way he looks, the way he loves, the way he is devoted to me, etc. 

There may be scores of more attractive men out there but for me there is nothing that could ever compete with the one I have at home.


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## curlysue321 (Jul 30, 2012)

I notice other attractive people as being attractive, but I don't adore them the way that I do my husband. To me he is the most handsome man ever and I'd rather see his face than to look at Brad Pitt. I acknowlegde that Brad Pitt is attractive, but looking at him doesn't bring me joy like looking at my husband does.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Oh my , all of these replies nail what I want to say as well.... what can I add...

Let me just say, I ENJOY looking at attractive people -- to say otherwise is LYING through my teeth and I know it, and my husband knows it too.... I notice a physically attractive Good looking man.... not that my tastes are all that normal... I love the Lanky long haired rock star look the best...Give me a young Axle Rose or Kurt Cobain -- Would I want to marry that type - HELL NO!!

....But as these replies have so beautifully expressed ......

This is fleeting...these are just seconds of "a tickle thrill"... this is not butterflys welling up inside our soul for the one who has BEEN there.... who we delight in, who delights in us....how their love makes us FEEL inside with what we share....the treasured memories, the laughter, the yrs of faithfulness & joy, who makes us feel ALIVE, who by being in our lives, we have become better people ....who we admire, adore for all they ARE before us... who has wiped our tears in sorrow and shared our highest highs... basically touching our hearts & souls....

When I look at my husband nearing 50 oh so soon (I hate getting older )...I can still see that gorgeous young man I married on our Wedding day.... it is like the yrs have not even passed...what gives ME this ability... is truly that "beauty" within....that has been spoken of in this thread. There is NO MAN who could light a candle to him. 




> *EynaraWolf said*: But those are not the things that make him a beautiful person to me. Its the way he looks at me. It's the way he holds me when I cry. It's the way he's there for me when I need him. Its the way he smiles when I can actually get him to blush about something naughty. Its the way he loves our daughters. Its the way he loves me. His face is the one I want to see when I go to bed at night and the one I want to see when I wake up in the morning.
> 
> There are many attractive people in this world, but there is only one person who lets me be close enough to him to see the beauty within.


This speaks it ! This is


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## Nigel (Mar 14, 2012)

shivamirage said:


> I have found some people who say their husbands or wives are the only beautiful or handsome people for them.They feel that because they are madly in love.I wonder if there are some other people out there who thinks the same.


People who say that are not being truthful to themselves. I think most people say it to try and convince themselves it's true and to try and portray their relationship as picture perfect to others.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Nigel said:


> People who say that are not being truthful to themselves. I think most people say it to try and convince themselves it's true and to try and portray their relationship as picture perfect to others.


I have often wondered this myself... as I don't understand why people do this...or deny... but maybe they really FEEL that way....who am I to say, I am not within their brains or hearts. Though it is very common for the majority of humans to use "white lies" to shade the truth a little -to spare others from being hurt....or like you say, to cover up some flaws. 

Me, I am admittably very visual, always have been... I just don't see the big deal at all - that men & women can still be "attracted" to the opposite sex....and think "mmmmm" to themselves in a moment ... even if you are wearing a RING. 

This by no means = you are going to fall into an affair, or even talk to that person -it is just a "look". So what.... this is just "human" indicating your hormones are pumping as they ought! 

I do believe in near fairytalish marraiges - where the partners are so very close, emotionally wrapped up in each other, Romance kept alive through the yrs & ticking -that life is a whirlwind of JOY....

We feel this way personally.









But still... we find others physically attractive. It's no sin.


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## mblack (May 29, 2016)

I'm genuinely only attracted to my husband and no one else.
No, Channing Tatum, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, none of those "sexy" men do it for me. No one does except my husband.
I thought I was asexual at first because of it, however I still like sex and have sex frequently.
I found a new term called demi-sexual where someone is only attracted to someone they have an emotional connection with. And for me, that would be my husband.
All these people here that claim that it's not possible to only be attracted to one person? I guess I'm proof that you people are wrong. No, I'm not "trying to make my marriage look better" as someone above accused.
I honestly don't get understand people's "normal" sexuality. How can anyone possibly find people attractive at all? We're all just fleshy bags of blood and bone. We all ****, fart, piss, burp, and all sorts of gross stuff. I simply don't see anything attractive about people at all. And I don't see how anyone else does either. Breasts, lips, legs, butt? They're all just body parts; nothing attractive about them.
I honestly think the world would be a better place if people could stop being attracted to everyone else. And after all, in this day and age, we no longer need the function of being attracted to anyone; it serves no function. 
Think of how many fewer affairs there would be if everyone stopped being attracted to people. Marriages would be better, families would stay in tact more often, time and energy wouldn't be wasted watching porn or flirting with others. It's simply not productive or efficient to be attracted to anyone. 
I don't see what's so hard about not being attracted to people. I think if you are attracted to other people then you can EASILY train yourself not to be attracted to anyone anymore. It's simple. And I think anyone that disagrees simply doesn't want to give up their daily hobby of fantasizing about having sex with strangers.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Despite it being a zombie thread I'll bite...



mblack said:


> I'm genuinely only attracted to my husband and no one else.
> No, Channing Tatum, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, none of those "sexy" men do it for me. No one does except my husband.


You are a just another human animal, in the absence of your husband and with over 7 billion people on the planet, the reality is you could find others attractive.



mblack said:


> I thought I was asexual at first because of it, however I still like sex and have sex frequently.


Are you often confused?



mblack said:


> I found a new term called demi-sexual where someone is only attracted to someone they have an emotional connection with. And for me, that would be my husband.


Right up until you lose that emotional connection and or establish a similar emotional connection with someone else.



mblack said:


> All these people here that claim that it's not possible to only be attracted to one person? I guess I'm proof that you people are wrong.


And there I was thinking that your claims, were instead proof that self delusion is certainly alive and well!



mblack said:


> No, I'm not "trying to make my marriage look better" as someone above accused.


Don't worry, there's no chance I would draw that conclusion.



mblack said:


> I honestly don't get understand people's "normal" sexuality. How can anyone possibly find people attractive at all? We're all just fleshy bags of blood and bone. We all ****, fart, piss, burp, and all sorts of gross stuff. I simply don't see anything attractive about people at all. And I don't see how anyone else does either. Breasts, lips, legs, butt? They're all just body parts; nothing attractive about them.


Are you sure you like sex?



mblack said:


> I honestly think the world would be a better place if people could stop being attracted to everyone else. And after all, in this day and age, we no longer need the function of being attracted to anyone; it serves no function.


:slap:



mblack said:


> Think of how many fewer affairs there would be if everyone stopped being attracted to people. Marriages would be better, families would stay in tact more often, time and energy wouldn't be wasted watching porn or flirting with others.


Think of how many fewer sexual relationships there would be of any ilk, if everyone stopped being attracted to people. Marriages would largely be non-existent, pregnancy and birth would be virtually non-existent in fact humans would probably quickly become extinct if everyone stopped being attracted to people.



mblack said:


> It's simply not productive or efficient to be attracted to anyone.


Sexual attraction is productive as evidenced by children, it is delusional to believe otherwise.



mblack said:


> I don't see what's so hard about not being attracted to people. I think if you are attracted to other people then you can EASILY train yourself not to be attracted to anyone anymore. It's simple. And I think anyone that disagrees simply doesn't want to give up their daily hobby of fantasizing about having sex with strangers.


................:rofl::rofl::rofl:

Get help soon!


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

shivamirage said:


> I have found some people who say their husbands or wives are the only beautiful or handsome people for them.They feel that because they are madly in love.I wonder if there are some other people out there who thinks the same.


This is nothing more than lip service, and anyone that says it is lying. Yes, it's a white lie, and it's even a little sweet (it's a way of saying "I have eyes for you and you alone..."), but it's still a lie.

That said, someone in the early stages of a new love may actually mean it.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

GusPolinski said:


> This is nothing more than lip service, and anyone that says it is lying. Yes, it's a white lie, and it's even a little sweet (it's a way of saying "I have eyes for you and you alone..."), but it's still a lie.
> 
> That said, someone in the early stages of a new love may actually mean it.


I've been around here for a while and I think it's fairly well known among those who have read and remembered my posts that I am not one to sugar coat or tell lil white lies. I've also been very open about my first marriage, multiple affairs, and the fact that I have never needed or even wanted emotional connection in order to feel physical attraction and want to have sex with a man. I like men, genuinely like them, and LOVE sex, sexual exploration, etc. In my single days and during my first marriage, I was fairly promiscuous and I enjoyed it very much.

That all said..

I haven't been physically attracted to another man since I met my husband in late 1999. Hell, I haven't even fantasized while awake or dreamed while asleep about another man since then. Sure, I can appreciate a fair face and form, but I feel absolutely nothing. It's like looking at art...a statue.

Frankly, it scares the hell out of me.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

MJJEAN said:


> I've been around here for a while and I think it's fairly well known among those who have read and remembered my posts that I am not one to sugar coat or tell lil white lies. I've also been very open about my first marriage, multiple affairs, and the fact that I have never needed or even wanted emotional connection in order to feel physical attraction and want to have sex with a man. I like men, genuinely like them, and LOVE sex, sexual exploration, etc. In my single days and during my first marriage, I was fairly promiscuous and I enjoyed it very much.
> 
> That all said..
> 
> ...


This will likely come down to different interpretations w/ respect to what it means to find someone attractive.

I regularly encounter women that -- objectively speaking -- are quite attractive, and yet I'm not attracted to any of them. Well... most of them.

Interestingly enough, the ones that turn my head often tend to look, dress, and conduct themselves (at least outwardly) in a manner similar to my wife.

I find that comforting.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

As a woman, I can admire a gorgeous man and his great form but it does not make me wanna have sex with him. He is an object to look at and be admired. I might say somethings like how beautiful he looks or smile/laugh about his beauty. I might remember him and retell my sightings to my friends and gush about him. It is just that. Admiring someone. His beauty does not make me want to have sex with him.

So, while I find my H pretty sexy and want to bang him every chance I get. A stranger does nothing for me. I am alive and still has the capacity to see beauty.

When you first fall in love, you don't notice anyone else because your body chemistry is all focused on the object of your desire and the need to have sex with that one person. After awhile, the hormones slowly goes back to normal and you start noticing other people. It's quite natural.

If you SO needs to hear that he/she is the object of your desire, you are not lying. I desire only you but I have seen a real beauty of a Nordic man (online who is supposed to be in the Danish military) that my DD showed to me and we oh and ah over him for 5 minutes. But that all he was.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

GusPolinski said:


> This will likely come down to different interpretations w/ respect to what it means to find someone attractive.
> 
> I regularly encounter women that -- objectively speaking -- are quite attractive, and yet I'm not attracted to any of them. Well... most of them.
> 
> ...


DH is very similar to you. He rarely finds someone dissimilar to me attractive. I'd say he has a type. Dark hair, light eyes, curvy, tough, smart, sense of humor. I fit his type and I am the woman he's chosen as his mate. But he still finds other women appealing.

For me, there really isn't too much room for interpretation re: the meaning of attraction. I do not find other men physically or mentally sexually appealing. Now, I really didn't have a type. I found myself attracted to every hair color, eye color, height, weight, level of fitness, various personality types, etc at one time or another. And then I met DH. I no longer find other men appealing, at all. The most enthusiasm I can muster for other men is as buddies, brothers, and that's it. Other men do not appear on my radar as sexual beings.

I keel over and he can go out into the world, meet someone new, find her apealing, and have a happy, healthy, sex life.

He keels over and I, apparently, will become the Crazy Dog Lady.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
I find my wife very attractive. I can find other women beautiful as well, but I don't want to have sex with them.


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## Tortdog (May 2, 2016)

So I find others very attractive. I remember the rule to look once and not twice. I don't dwell on it. If I did, it could get me into trouble. 

And my wife is very attractive, with many others agreeing with that view (including my son's college friends). That just makes me smile (and he finds it disturbing but a huge compliment to his mom). 

That's the sexual attraction. 

Emotionally, there is only one. I don't think that I could handle two so no temptation.


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## Naku (May 26, 2013)

Objectively, my wife isn't beautiful, but when I look at her, I see something I find beautiful. Some call it "wife goggles" and it's said to be caused by Oxycontin, a bonding hormone. I would never say that I didn't find other women attractive. I don't believe people when they say that, but they may mean they don't see that special beauty you see for your partner.


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