# Will it ever get easier?



## Treena (Feb 14, 2021)

My husband left 5 weeks ago. I am struggling to cope and understand. Will I ever feel normal. I don't know if I'm holding on to false hope of us getting back together. He's saying that he's happy at the minute and he can't say whether we have a future or not. If it really is over how do I let go and give up on the hope. I'm a broken mess and am distraught. Please help!


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

You give yourself some grace. You figure out what you need in order to at least be ok. Maybe you need to be extra active? Walking, running, working out, immersed in work???? Or maybe you need meditation and solitude to figure things out?? Figure out what you need just to be ok.... or maybe try different things. See what works.

You might take the focus off of him and what he wants. I know it's easier said than done....but you have to look out for yourself. Find a support system that doesn't include him....girlfriends, therapist, sisters, etc... 

I know that when my ex left, I was left with all the responsibilities of kids, home,, bills, etc... I had to figure out what I NEEDED to do, what I COULD do, what I WANTED to do....etc. I made a lot of lists, wrote in my journal, talked with my ya-yas, and floated around the pool contemplating. I knew I COULD be ok, and that eventually I'd get there, but I had to figure out HOW. 

Really, regardless of the circumstances, figure out what YOU need and how to get there.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

I want to add that it was pretty cathartic to bag up all his belongings in trash bags....every little thing. Of course it was kind of an "F U" and it hurt his feelings, sooooooooo.....bonus.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Treena said:


> My husband left 5 weeks ago. I am struggling to cope and understand. Will I ever feel normal. I don't know if I'm holding on to false hope of us getting back together. He's saying that he's happy at the minute and he can't say whether we have a future or not. If it really is over how do I let go and give up on the hope. I'm a broken mess and am distraught. Please help!


So what are the circumstances around the separation? How old are you both, do you have children, etc.?
Why did HE want to leave?
As for yourself, eat right, exercise and try to get enough sleep. Perhaps you should start counseling to help you though this?


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Treena said:


> My husband left 5 weeks ago. I am struggling to cope and understand. Will I ever feel normal. I don't know if I'm holding on to false hope of us getting back together. He's saying that he's happy at the minute and he can't say whether we have a future or not. If it really is over how do I let go and give up on the hope. I'm a broken mess and am distraught. Please help!


Absolutely. In the long run you will recover no matter what happens. That is just how life works.


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## james_bondie (Feb 15, 2021)

so sorry to hear this. hopefully this will get easier in time. you have to let go of bad thoughts and just let the time and life take its own path and things will be just fine. remember nothing exists out side your head so yeah


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