# Watching porn with spouse



## Shamrockfaced (Feb 9, 2018)

I've watched porn since I was a 13 year old boy. Almost my entire life I've had an extremely high sex drive and porn has been a (secret) part of it. Wife and I have been married over 20 years and have a very healthy marriage and healthy relationship.

About a year ago, she told me she wanted to watch porn together. We did and it has been fun. I was quite nervous because I have always done it in secret and was taught it was wrong.

Now, we are doing it and getting hot together, alone, in our own bed.

Over the years, there were certain things that aroused me (genres of porn). However, now I've noticed that I'm most aroused by what turns her on (if that makes sense). 

I've noticed there are certain things that really makes her excited. Some she yells me (she gets aroused by big fake tits and some lesbian sex, some group sex, etc). She tells me these things. Other things, I infer based in her body's responses : she gets noticeably aroused (to the point of orgasm) looking at certain male porn star's (very large) member. On one hand, this is exciting... In the other hand... I'm of average endowment. Is this something I should even worry about? Am I thinking about this too much? Does she secretly wish I could perform like these studs? Am I crazy?


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

You are way, way, as in way, overthinking this.

And in my opinion you should never have watched anything in secret once you had a babe. Don't do it again.

That's my opinion. And of course, take it from me, my opinion is the only one that counts in the whole wide world.


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## SoFlaGuy (Nov 28, 2014)

My wife and I sometimes watch it together, we generally like the same types, which works so we can both enjoy it. I think it can be a good way of exploring what each of us like, learn some new techniques (she did some things while giving me oral that we saw in a movie- WOW!) There was a scene with some light Bondage/ hair pulling that she liked, so we did that. She does like some FF or FFM but does not like MFM. 
I don't worry about matching up to some image on a screen and I hope she doesn't either. It's just fantasy stuff.


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## LeananSidhe (Feb 6, 2018)

Flip things around. I’m sure you see women in the porn that turn you on but look different than your wife. I’m assuming you still very much enjoy your wife. I’m sure it’s the same for her. 

It’s kind of funny how easy it is for me to say that to other people but when my husband looks at porn I’m like “ohmygod he hates my body and only wants that pornstar”. Haha.


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## dearme (Feb 11, 2018)

I’m just telling you all porn is not all something you should watch period. Your inviting an evil you can not control into your lives. 

FYI your wife knew you was watching it, she probably struggled for years with it, herself image and she finally caved decided she’d try to get your time and attention by joining you. If you told the actual truth you probably stop having sex with her because the sickness of porn was taking over and that was the only way you could get off. I’d be willing to beat she didn’t come to you but you asked her or you had asked her or mentioned it to her before she she came to you. 

Again she did not do it initially because she wanted to, but because when we have sex we unit our souls with that person and become one flesh. Sex was designed to be something so much more then a ****, it’s beautiful, it’s so pleasureful and the greatest way we can come together with our husband/ wives. 

I’d challenge you to trash the porn block it from your phones computers whatever and minds. Take your wife out to dinner watch her focuses on her and her alone. As you touch her in vision what your doing to her in your mind, don’t allow the disgusting garbage you have been imprisoned by come in and take away from that magical moment with her. Make sure she knows and you tell her to focus on you in the same way. Talk tell each other how u want to be touched how u like being touched, and really put 110% into it and I assure you y’all will start to have a more fulfilled much more satisfying love life. TheOrgasm you experience from that trash isn’t fully fulfilling so that’s why u feel you need it so much so often. When you finally see how deeply connected you and your wife truly are how your souls are truly intertwined and one. And leave the grange behind, you will I promise you start having a much deeper, much more intense orgasm. But you see you have had this trash pile built up in between u and your wife from the beginning. Clear the clutter and start truly connecting with your wife. 

I can sure u if you don’t divorce is coming, y’all are both having affairs with porn but u clearly admitted u had the issue and have been addicted since u was a child. And I assure you her desires are real, she is starting to want more then you have, what she has never had. You put porn first for so long and she knew it I promise she did, so now she is joining you seeing there is more out there and the grass is dying in your yard, but the guy down the streets is mighty green. 

So u got a choice, do you let your lawn die and become a dirt pile or so you brake out the pesticides, start pulling the weeds, fertilizers and water water water. So old boys grass never comers to the full lush beautiful lawn you have. 


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## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

dearme said:


> I’m just telling you all porn is not all something you should watch period. Your inviting an evil you can not control into your lives.
> 
> FYI your wife knew you was watching it, she probably struggled for years with it, herself image and she finally caved decided she’d try to get your time and attention by joining you. If you told the actual truth you probably stop having sex with her because the sickness of porn was taking over and that was the only way you could get off. I’d be willing to beat she didn’t come to you but you asked her or you had asked her or mentioned it to her before she she came to you.
> 
> ...


Weird first post. There is an "Introduce Yourself" board further down the forum if you want tell us a bit about yourself? But thanks for sharing


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

dearme said:


> I’m just telling you all porn is not all something you should watch period. Your inviting an evil you can not control into your lives.
> 
> FYI your wife knew you was watching it, she probably struggled for years with it, herself image and she finally caved decided she’d try to get your time and attention by joining you. If you told the actual truth you probably stop having sex with her because the sickness of porn was taking over and that was the only way you could get off. I’d be willing to beat she didn’t come to you but you asked her or you had asked her or mentioned it to her before she she came to you.
> 
> ...


Church let out early?


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## Notself (Aug 25, 2017)

dearme said:


> I’m just telling you all porn is not all something you should watch period. Your inviting an evil you can not control into your lives.
> 
> FYI your wife knew you was watching it, she probably struggled for years with it, herself image and she finally caved decided she’d try to get your time and attention by joining you. If you told the actual truth you probably stop having sex with her because the sickness of porn was taking over and that was the only way you could get off. I’d be willing to beat she didn’t come to you but you asked her or you had asked her or mentioned it to her before she she came to you.
> 
> ...


Someone left the iPad out and the Pastor found it, I see.


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## Maxwedge 413 (Apr 16, 2014)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Church let out early?


Church let out early and English writing class was cancelled. OP, Dearme forgot to mention that "U will'n burn in da hole-ee flames".


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## VermiciousKnid (Nov 14, 2017)

Anything you do in the open and together that you both enjoy is never a bad thing. My wife and I also watch porn together on occasion. It really turns her on. As a man I've seen so much porn in my life that at this point I can take it or leave it but since we only watch it occasionally together, she loves it. If she loves it then so do I. It always leads to head board banging against the wall kind of sex so it's all good. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

dearme said:


> Sex was designed to be something so much more then a ****, it’s beautiful, it’s so pleasureful and the greatest way we can come together with our husband/ wives.
> .............................................................................TheOrgasm you experience from that trash isn’t fully fulfilling so that’s why u feel you need it so much so often.


Before the 20th century, women usually did not have much status. Having marriages based on love has grown more acceptable in recent centuries. I think that you're looking back to an ideal time that never existed. 

In regard to the Orgasm, how long should a husband remain fulfilled after having one?


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

Yes, I think you are over thinking it and worrying about nothing. Be glad you wife was open enough to suggest it. Many women are afraid of being shamed (as was done earlier in this thread) for enjoying something like this, but look at how women read and enjoyed 50 Shades of Gray or how many romance novels are read.


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## Shamrockfaced (Feb 9, 2018)

dearme said:


> I’m just telling you all porn is not all something you should watch period. Your inviting an evil you can not control into your lives.
> 
> FYI your wife knew you was watching it, she probably struggled for years with it, herself image and she finally caved decided she’d try to get your time and attention by joining you. If you told the actual truth you probably stop having sex with her because the sickness of porn was taking over and that was the only way you could get off. I’d be willing to beat she didn’t come to you but you asked her or you had asked her or mentioned it to her before she she came to you.
> 
> ...



Thanks to all of you for the comments. Especially this one.... It made me laugh. Buddy, you make some really serious leaps based in what little info you have. Most of the comments are helpful. 

I agree.... I'm overthinking it. As others have stated, what is fantasy does not necessarily means its dissatisfaction. There's never been any indication of that whatsoever and sometimes we joke together about how many orgasms she's going to have. 

What's interesting, is that when I watched porn growing up, I had certain things that turned me on. Now, those kinks are much less interesting and if I do watch (pretty rare) I'm drawn to the stuff I know turns her on. Oddly, what I am most aroused by is her arousal.


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## snerg (Apr 10, 2013)

Shamrockfaced said:


> On one hand, this is exciting... In the other hand... I'm of average endowment. Is this something I should even worry about? Am I thinking about this too much?


Way over thinking.

She has a mind.

She can fantasize about any size hose on any dude she chooses.




Shamrockfaced said:


> Does she secretly wish I could perform like these studs? Am I crazy?


with out knowing if you're a marathon runner or a 2 pump chump in the bed, it doesn't matter what she sees in porn.
If you're done in a minute, she doesn't need porn to wish you could last longer.

If she wishes you were swinging a tree, she can watch the starlets get wrecked by some dude with a donkey dork and come back to a safe and fulfilling sex session with you.

Just let it go and enjoy your wife.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

My personal opinion is the best relationship is built when you are aroused by her arousal, and vice versa. My wife reads erotic literature aloud. It gets us both excited. But we each receive positive feedback from the other, being aroused by the arousal of the other.

I think that is what works best.


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## LeananSidhe (Feb 6, 2018)

Shamrockfaced said:


> What's interesting, is that when I watched porn growing up, I had certain things that turned me on. Now, those kinks are much less interesting and if I do watch (pretty rare) I'm drawn to the stuff I know turns her on. Oddly, what I am most aroused by is her arousal.


I think that’s pretty normal. There are some things that don’t turn me on by themselves but turn me on just because of how much they turn my husband on.

On the flip side... I had a certain kink fantasy that really, really turned me on. Like a lot. I was too embarrassed to tell my husband but would fantasize about it while having sex and it really got things going for me. One night I finally told my husband about it (in the dark while blushing profusely). He was open to it...but I didn’t feel like it was a big turn on for him. We did it but it was honestly ruined for me because I felt like he was just doing it for me and it wasn’t the same. He still does it sometimes but it just makes me feel tense now. I honestly wish I had never told him about it because at least then I could still fantasize about it.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Shamrockfaced said:


> What's interesting, is that when I watched porn growing up, I had certain things that turned me on. Now, those kinks are much less interesting and if I do watch (pretty rare) I'm drawn to the stuff I know turns her on. Oddly, what I am most aroused by is her arousal.



Yeah...be careful. Next stop might be Cuckoldshire City. Because if you like to see your wife aroused independently, don’t even try to imagine her being in one of those porn movies herself, getting off with all those people...




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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

LeananSidhe said:


> I think that’s pretty normal. There are some things that don’t turn me on by themselves but turn me on just because of how much they turn my husband on.
> 
> On the flip side... I had a certain kink fantasy that really, really turned me on. Like a lot. I was too embarrassed to tell my husband but would fantasize about it while having sex and it really got things going for me. One night I finally told my husband about it (in the dark while blushing profusely). He was open to it...but I didn’t feel like it was a big turn on for him. We did it but it was honestly ruined for me because I felt like he was just doing it for me and it wasn’t the same. He still does it sometimes but it just makes me feel tense now. I honestly wish I had never told him about it because at least then I could still fantasize about it.




Maybe he didn’t do it quite right? 🤨
I’m afraid to get over this embarrassment, there’s only one way to fix it: fess up what it was to strangers on the internet and all will be forgiven 
My money is on the number that it was some kind of role play/submissive thing.
I think women tend to be more turned on by fantasy/mind things, rather than physical things they can do TO their partner.
Nothing to be ashamed about either way. Sex is a lot about escapism and if you have proper trust between each other, nothing is insurmountable IMO.


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## username77 (Dec 27, 2017)

Shamrockfaced said:


> she gets noticeably aroused (to the point of orgasm) looking at certain male porn star's (very large) member. On one hand, this is exciting... In the other hand... I'm of average endowment. Is this something I should even worry about?


Yes



Shamrockfaced said:


> Am I thinking about this too much?


No



Shamrockfaced said:


> Does she secretly wish I could perform like these studs?


Yes!



Shamrockfaced said:


> Am I crazy?


No! You're opening Pandora's box. Keep going down this route and you'll find yourself watching your wife in a gang bang with horse cocked college kids and you relegated to clean up boy.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

LeananSidhe said:


> I think that’s pretty normal. There are some things that don’t turn me on by themselves but turn me on just because of how much they turn my husband on.
> 
> On the flip side... I had a certain kink fantasy that really, really turned me on. Like a lot. I was too embarrassed to tell my husband but would fantasize about it while having sex and it really got things going for me. One night I finally told my husband about it (in the dark while blushing profusely). He was open to it...but I didn’t feel like it was a big turn on for him. We did it but it was honestly ruined for me because I felt like he was just doing it for me and it wasn’t the same. He still does it sometimes but it just makes me feel tense now. I honestly wish I had never told him about it because at least then I could still fantasize about it.




Unfortunate 

I would think it might be in the presentation.

We are old people. Visual pornography was tough to come by back in the day. 

Stories. I wrote stories for Mary to read aloud. When magazines came out which had stories I did learn Mary’s tastes were more varied than I thought. I did learn, after her affair, that what I thought I knew before was nothing compared to the path she led me down later.

I learned. My presentation improved. She enjoys it.

Good luck


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## LeananSidhe (Feb 6, 2018)

inmyprime said:


> LeananSidhe said:
> 
> 
> > I think that’s pretty normal. There are some things that don’t turn me on by themselves but turn me on just because of how much they turn my husband on.
> ...


I’ll never fess up. It’s embarrassing even for strangers on the internet. Haha. 

It wasn’t a role play/submissive thing. Although that’s definitely one of my big ones! He’s more into that though. Not as much as I am but enough to where I know it turns him on. 
I mean, I guess my weirdo kink thing doesn’t turn him off so that’s good. Maybe I’m just overthinking it because it embarrassed me and I was terrified on rejection.


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## LeananSidhe (Feb 6, 2018)

Double post...sorry!


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## snerg (Apr 10, 2013)

LeananSidhe said:


> I’ll never fess up. It’s embarrassing even for strangers on the internet. Haha.


Nope.

Have you read anything on this site?

I have read things that I thought humans couldn't do to one another.

Your kink that you share in a loving way with your husband couldn't possibly be embarrassing.

You might even find that there are others that share the same kink.




LeananSidhe said:


> I mean, I guess my weirdo kink thing doesn’t turn him off so that’s good. Maybe I’m just overthinking it because it embarrassed me and I was terrified on rejection.


Yes.
You are over thinking it.
Especially if he was willing to do it with you and not judge.

The fact that you felt so guilty/worried about it that you no longer fantasize about it is the true issue.
If he's doing it and it's enjoyable (that is if you can relax enough to enjoy it), then why not enjoy it and fantasize about him doing it to you when he's not available?


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## Shamrockfaced (Feb 9, 2018)

LeananSidhe said:


> LeananSidhe said:
> 
> 
> > inmyprime said:
> ...


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## LeananSidhe (Feb 6, 2018)

Shamrockfaced said:


> I have a feeling that if you respond the way my wife does to certain things... Your hub will be all about trying it.


I think you’re onto something with this (although it has nothing to do with anal). Me overthinking things effects how I respond. I can feel myself sort of tensing up now when he does it because my brain is panicking thinking “Does he hate this??? Is he just humoring me??” If I’d just relax and enjoy it, he’d likely be more into it too. I know he loves it when he can tell that I’m really enjoying myself. 

I’ll stop hijacking OP’s post with my problems though!


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

Trust me LeananSidhe, Mary is pretty kinky and I bet what she is happy to share is very like what you were thinking, and Mary goes way beyond that.

Mary is always happy to show off the padded leather wrist cuffs and nice soft cotton rope I have to tie her down. The rope is purple because she likes the color. Bondage is Mary's thing. 

She is a masochist so I've studied it a bit. The problem with bringing up the term is most people jump right to the most extreme examples. The truth is most masochists are not extreme at all. They just want a little of this and a little of that. So it's better to just leave the term alone.

But it covers submission, bondage, humiliation, and pain.

The padded wrist cuff and the light spank on the butt are the same as the joy gained by acts of service and the pain of a love bite. The thrill when you get called a bad girl and when he pulls your hair, the way your heart beats faster when he growls in your ear as he holds you down and... I never had a clue when I got married.

Different people feel it differently. Everyone is different.

Mary desperately needs to be fulfilled by acts of service. If I do anything for myself which she could have done she is crushed because I have stolen from her a chance for her to gain happiness through an act of service. This is a big deal to her.

In sex she is thrilled to be bound and taken. It releases her of all responsibility, and lets the inner fire in her loose. When she has to make decisions about sex she is conflicted and feels guilt and shame. When I take choice out of her hands she soars so high the stars have to look up to see her. It took me years to learn how to please her. But I love her, and it was worth it, to me, to learn.

But Mary is pretty out there.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Cheek acheeka wow wow....pizza man did someone order a large pizza with sausage.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

LeananSidhe said:


> I think you’re onto something with this (although it has nothing to do with anal). Me overthinking things effects how I respond. I can feel myself sort of tensing up now when he does it because my brain is panicking thinking “Does he hate this??? Is he just humoring me??” If I’d just relax and enjoy it, he’d likely be more into it too. I know he loves it when he can tell that I’m really enjoying myself.
> 
> I’ll stop hijacking OP’s post with my problems though!


I don't think he minds you hijacking his thread!

Funny you should mention anal. We have tried it. Hey, we have been married 44 years. Neither of us think it is fun.

I will tell a secret I have only told Mary.

I remember in 1964 I believed fellatio and anal sex were things only homosexual guys did. I wanted nothing to do with either act when I got older. I lusted after cunnilingus since I was in grade school, but receiving oral sex didn't interest me.

After I got married Mary wanted to give fellatio a try, so I got used to that. And after several years we tried anal a few times. But I always remembered my old prejudice.


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## Shamrockfaced (Feb 9, 2018)

WilliamM said:


> LeananSidhe said:
> 
> 
> > I think you’re onto something with this (although it has nothing to do with anal). Me overthinking things effects how I respond. I can feel myself sort of tensing up now when he does it because my brain is panicking thinking “Does he hate this??? Is he just humoring me??” If I’d just relax and enjoy it, he’d likely be more into it too. I know he loves it when he can tell that I’m really enjoying myself.
> ...



Wife and I both come from an extremely conservative, legalistic religious background. Sex and sexuality were very repressed and sex in marriage was viewed as a wifely duty. Something like anal (or a host of other things) were beyond consideration. That's one reason I just laugh at some of the very preachy posts above. I know more of that world that most people.

Over time, as we've grown closer together, trust has increased and we've tried some of these 'taboo' things. We're monogamous, and will remain so. But that doesn't mean we won't try different things and 'bang some headboards'. 20+ years into our relationship and we're still discovering each other.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

My wife was raised very religious. Very guilt ridden.

I am a wild spirit. Raised in the Bay Area of Northern California in the sixties. When I asked Mary if she wanted to play around or have monogamy after marriage she was aghast and said monogamy of course, so I agreed.

Then she allowed a friend to seduce her just after our fifth wedding anniversary! Wouldn't have been a big problem except when I asked why she changed her mind things got real muddy. I discovered she lied about a ton of stuff. And I went pretty crazy over her lying. I wouldn't have believed I would have cared that much. But it really mattered to me.

Fast forward a couple horrible years and we tried a swingers party because I could not get her affair out of my mind. That worked to make me forget about her affair. We've been pretty wild since then.

During those bad years I also discovered Mary is a masochist, with all the associated issues. Talk about a break from her religious upbringing!

There is a theory of masochism which suggests it may be an escape from the self, to allow a person to enjoy sex when a persons guilt will not allow the person to enjoy sex without that escape. That was put forward by Dr. Roy F. Baumeister, a very prominent psychologist. I prefer his ideas over others I've seen, and I think he has good research to back up his ideas.

Based on that theory it is postulated the more repressive a persons upbringing the more likely it is they may display some characteristics of masochistic personality. Mary has them all.

People hate the word, so I usually don't bring it up. I can understand, too, because the media only portray the worse examples of it. Mary really does not like any media she has seen on it.

She likes porn in theory. We own some movies from the seventies she likes to play. She reads erotic literature every day. She laughs and says it is real easy to skip the parts she doesn't like. 

We tried to buy a movie made by a female director a few years back, but it seems they went out of business just as we ordered, and we never got any responses. Oh well.


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## DoneIn (Aug 1, 2017)

I agree. You can stay on the porn plane and try to make it work but you will never be satisfied. That comes from the intimate connection you have when only two people are present. Porn is group sex. Its sensational and sensual but it misses the mark by a LONG shot and in the end it trashes your brain, your love life, and everything sensitive you could have had.


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## LeananSidhe (Feb 6, 2018)

I was raised Mormon and actually still attend church regularly (whether or not I believe in it waivers). Oddly enough, I don’t feel any guilt when it comes to sex. My husband and I had (and now have again) a really active and interesting sex life. I didn’t wear panties under my skirt Sunday. 

It did cause issues for me as a teen though. My first time was not consensual (not with my husband of course) but I was made to feel like it was my fault. The guy told me that I had let things go too far and he couldn’t stop...somehow the night ended with me apologizing to him. I was extremely ashamed of it and never told anyone. I actually continued to date the guy for a couple weeks afterwards just because I felt like I was stuck with him because I was damaged. 
That was my only sexual experience before my husband. I’m not really sure what happened but I went from being “a good girl” to becoming friends with benefits with him with almost zero guilt. Eventually we became a couple. I always said we needed to stop until marriage but I always knew that we wouldn’t. It was almost like a game. 

Anyway...no guilt here!


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

Except for the blushing, and saying you need to stop until you’re married.

But I think blushing is very cute. Mary blushes clear down to there!


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## shaillythomas (Jan 12, 2018)

There is no problem to watch porn.Me and my hubby watched porn movies some time and enjoy in it.we watch 2 or 3 times in a week to get more pleasure and fun


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

snerg said:


> Nope.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Having sex in dirty diapers for a grown man was probably the weirdest thing I came across and it seems odd on many levels. But I respect people’s preferences...


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## fetishwife (Apr 22, 2012)

Big dongs look better on camera - if you like porn I bet you also like them....

We like to watch this too - obviously many do- I’ve had the same thoughts on occasion, but there is always someone “better” out there potentially for both parties! I would be excited she is horney and enjoy it yourself like I do- you are the one that’s real, fantasy is really helpful, but it’s not reality in any way. 





Shamrockfaced said:


> I've watched porn since I was a 13 year old boy. Almost my entire life I've had an extremely high sex drive and porn has been a (secret) part of it. Wife and I have been married over 20 years and have a very healthy marriage and healthy relationship.
> 
> About a year ago, she told me she wanted to watch porn together. We did and it has been fun. I was quite nervous because I have always done it in secret and was taught it was wrong.
> 
> ...


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Shamrockfaced said:


> I've noticed there are certain things that really makes her excited. Some she yells me (she gets aroused by big fake tits and some lesbian sex, some group sex, etc). She tells me these things. Other things, I infer based in her body's responses : she gets noticeably aroused (to the point of orgasm) looking at certain male porn star's (very large) member. On one hand, this is exciting... In the other hand... I'm of average endowment. Is this something I should even worry about? Am I thinking about this too much? Does she secretly wish I could perform like these studs? Am I crazy?


I know you've had more recent posts where you have realized you are over thinking this, so I'm addressing this a little bit differently because I have always been fascinated by this double standard.

So can I ask you, had you ever in your life during the time you were watching porn in secret, felt that your wife was lacking in sexiness compared to the women in porn? The answer may be yes, I'm not trying to shame you. I'm trying to get to the double standard.

What I've observed a lot, is men who get insecure about a woman enjoying a huge penis on screen, yet the same man will push away any feelings of insecurity his woman may have about him watching porn.

It is as if men think porn is only for them and that women should not be insecure about it, since it is only for them. But once a woman starts getting into porn, the male ego can't handle it.

What do you think accounts for this double standard? If a man is insecure, can't he understand why a woman would be also?

Having said that...again, I realize you sort of worked this out for yourself and I'm glad you actually get turned on by your wife's arousal, that is cool. Hopefully you can allow her the freedom to express her true desires more and more and you can be aroused by it more and more, and be insecure about it less and less.

Yes, some of us women love seeing huge ones and we really get off on it. It really is confusing why men get so insecure about this, since most men - like yourself - have spent decades drooling and masturbating over women's bodies and never seem to consider how it would affect your woman's self esteem if she knew about it.

Some couples have no problem with this - - so this is not always the case.


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## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

I think there's something beautiful about marriage where spouses are devoted to each other to the best of their ability. Husbands shouldn't be checking out other ladies from head to toe and certainly spouses shouldn't be bringing others into the bedroom- even in an imaginary sense. 

I just had the Victoria Secret mailer arrive in the mail. Instead of gawking or worse I threw it in the trash as an act of love for my wife. She's worth it, and far hotter than those bimbos anyway.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

CatholicDad said:


> I think there's something beautiful about marriage where spouses are devoted to each other to the best of their ability. Husbands shouldn't be checking out other ladies from head to toe and certainly spouses shouldn't be bringing others into the bedroom- even in an imaginary sense.
> 
> I just had the Victoria Secret mailer arrive in the mail. Instead of gawking or worse I threw it in the trash as an act of love for my wife. She's worth it, and far hotter than those bimbos anyway.


Why didn't you order something for your wife before throwing it in the trash?? :surprise: You don't need to look at the 'bimbos' but for god's sake, not looking at your wife in those things is a sin, dude!


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

...and @inmyprime wins TAM today!


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## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

I'm a sinner like everyone but NOT looking at or making love to my wife at every opportunity is not one of them. She owns several already. 

The greater sin is guys that don't pursue.... satisfied by porn.


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## fetishwife (Apr 22, 2012)

Speak for yourself! I am not a sinner. That is something in your world or mind. I don’t believe in that religion - I believe in the pasta and meatballs in the sky that rules us all. There is no sin, but he hates it when we eat spaghetti- 




CatholicDad said:


> I'm a sinner like everyone but NOT looking at or making love to my wife at every opportunity is not one of them. She owns several already.
> 
> The greater sin is guys that don't pursue.... satisfied by porn.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Don't Pastafarians consume the flesh and blood of their god in sacred rituals? Have I been doing it all wrong :surprise:



fetishwife said:


> Speak for yourself! I am not a sinner. That is something in your world or mind. I don’t believe in that religion - I believe in the pasta and meatballs in the sky that rules us all. There is no sin, but he hates it when we eat spaghetti-


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I have a great familiarity with sin, and every expectation of going to the *bad place* but I don't really consider porn watching to be much of a sin unless it is replacing sexual interest in ones partner. 




CatholicDad said:


> I'm a sinner like everyone but NOT looking at or making love to my wife at every opportunity is not one of them. She owns several already.
> 
> The greater sin is guys that don't pursue.... satisfied by porn.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

There is so much judgement when it comes to porn... and what a couple may do with it... as a few posts here propose if a couple watches together.. they are doomed... will end in divorce....

Naaah.... I am a hopeless romantic.. I love & thrive on Intimacy in the deepest sense .... yet I still like to enjoy some porn with my husband on occasion... Should I apologize for this.. lie about it... hide it so WE don't look so bad?? 

I refuse to do that.. but lay it out there... our personal experience with it.. truth is.. it hasn't hurt us at all... we are OK with it.. have enjoyed it.. and will again on occasion....

My husband has never been the type to seek variety or wish he had tried other women... that's not who he is....yet still.. he LIKES / ENJOYS LOOKING at women's bodies.... I will not judge him for this, for being honest...that this arouses him....I think it's perfectly normal [email protected]# Healthy even.. it ends there... even getting excited/ horny.. he would wait for me.. and we'd enjoy each other... 

Porn was never put before me in our marriage.. when THAT happens.. it is very bad.. and destructive.. I would speak out against this in every sense...

It was me who wanted to seek out porn, watch erotic videos... even renting it for a time.. about 10 yrs ago now...this started when I had a sex drive increase in Mid life..this URGE to seek this out came over me.. but at the same time.. I wanted to DO my husband like 3 times a day..so he got the benefits to all of this.. it surely didn't destroy our marriage.. it was a lot of FUN [email protected]#$... We tried new things...we talked about how we felt.. if it bothered him.. how I felt that he got turned on.. should we be ashamed of this... all of it.. out in the open... 

One thing that came out of this was... like the original poster.. my husband found it a turn on to WATCH ME watching it... he was looking at me more than the darn screen... 

These days.. we barely turn it on.. it was a phase.... it played itself out..... even then.. I wanted to see the more sensual/ Romantic porn... not so easy to find.. neither of us like Hard core.. we find that more of a turn off ... no 3 somes... he doesn't mind seeing 2 women.. I find that gross personally... CLICK !

He doesn't care to see the man's parts... I love seeing the man & the woman together...it is what it is.... if a couple enjoys it together... so I feel..nothing wrong with that, it's built into us to be aroused by the act, the thought of it.. the visual just brings the rush on faster, the pleasure it incites within... Do we need the visual.. NO!! But if we're OK with it.. why not... 

Just never put it above each other.. using it in secret to get off.. .while denying our partner.. this is when porn is destructive and will tear a couple apart...


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## Shamrockfaced (Feb 9, 2018)

SimplyAmorous said:


> There is so much judgement when it comes to porn... and what a couple may do with it... as a few posts here propose if a couple watches together.. they are doomed... will end in divorce....
> 
> Naaah.... I am a hopeless romantic.. I love & thrive on Intimacy in the deepest sense .... yet I still like to enjoy some porn with my husband on occasion... Should I apologize for this.. lie about it... hide it so WE don't look so bad??
> 
> ...


Wow.... For a few moments I wondered if my wife was on here posting. Over the past few years/months, I've settled alot of things in my mind. Many questions I have had have been worked out and I feel I have a much greater understanding. Many of the comments on here I haven't responded to simply because I think they're way off. However, almost everything you typed seems to fit with where we're at. While I admit to using porn since I was a young boy, it has never once been in place of sex with my wife. It has never replaced my desire for her either. She is the one that actually pushed to watch together (much like you mentioned). In fact, the only difference is the preferences of porn you've mentioned.... My wife definitely loves the harder core stuff, group sex, etc. Also, over the past 6 months, I've also realized she is aroused by seeing the women's body at least equally (probably more) than men's.


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## NJ2 (Mar 22, 2017)

i have been with H for over 35 years and recently i asked him if he ever watches porn (i had no idea) he said on occassion some pretty tame stuff that comes on local cable tv on the weekend. He asked if i had- I said a few times I've looked female erotica up on the internet out of curiosity... we both sort of went "hmmm ok well.." I said I would be open to watcing it together..he was silent -and that was that lol.

I dont think he was interested in talking about anything further. I had asked if he had any fetishes, was he interested in doing something we havent done...I figure if we are "it" for each other then we should be willing to do whatever it is the other fancies within reason. But- he never answered any of my questions.

I think his unwillingness to discuss may be due to a strict catholic upbringing and a lot of parenting through guilt and judgement.

He's an excellent lover and I suppose if there was anything I initiated out of the ordinary hed be game.. so no complaints.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Shamrockfaced said:


> Thanks to all of you for the comments. Especially this one.... It made me laugh. Buddy, you make some really serious leaps based in what little info you have. Most of the comments are helpful.
> 
> I agree.... I'm overthinking it. As others have stated, what is fantasy does not necessarily means its dissatisfaction. There's never been any indication of that whatsoever and sometimes we joke together about how many orgasms she's going to have.
> 
> What's interesting, is that when I watched porn growing up, I had certain things that turned me on. Now, those kinks are much less interesting and if I do watch (pretty rare) I'm drawn to the stuff I know turns her on.* Oddly, what I am most aroused by is her arousal.*


*Anyone who is not aroused by their wife's sexual arousal, is largely an insensitive SOB! And the same can definitely be said for their wife's inability to appreciate her husband's arousal to her!

If both are amenable to viewing acceptable "blue movies" together, then that is so much better than one covertly viewing porn on their on!

To me, appreciating each other's sexual arousal is what it's always been about! *


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## KungFuJoe (Apr 10, 2018)

My wife and I used to watch porn all the time together. The only rule when it comes to sex is to enjoy whatever you both enjoy. We didn't have the same tastes in porn, with her liking more of the extreme stuff...but there's something for everyone.


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