# Seperated and shes with someone else



## helpless223 (Aug 13, 2013)

My wife and I just seperated after 19 years or marriage and 4 children 16,15,12,10. I was unfaithful close to 4 years ago and i take 100% of the blame. My wife forgave me and we tried to move forward. My wife never told her close friends or any of her family so basically she kept this all inside to herself. I agreed to move out 3 years ago but came down with meningitis. This took over 6 months to recover plus i was having a hard time just walking out on the kids. This April my mother was diagnosed with cancer and dies in April. Two weeks later my brother and his wife are still suing my and my sisters over her estate never got a chance to grieve my mother. I moved out on June 1st on the premonition we would give seperation 6 months revisit the marriage. Once i got out my wife started treating me horrible. I have admitted my mistakes over and over she whenever we talk she keeps throwing my mistakes in my face. I have since seeked counseling and have become a much better man. She has not seeked any help in the time i was unfaithful. We split weekends with the kids. I go over and clean the house, vacuum, fold laundry, clean the pool anything i can do to help around. I since have found out she has been seeing someone else while i am at the house with the kids she is out with her new friend. I know i have hurt her and feel horrible over this i want to make things better and treat her like a queen going forward. She came to one of my sessions and told my counsler thats shes not involved with anyone thats the last thing she needs. I had the kids this weekend and on friday never got a call the whole weekend to say where she was staying. I just want some respect in case something happens to me or any of the kids . She told me she texted the kids i said i am the parent here i need to know . She has said many times if you got out 4 years ago things might be different. I say to myself if you were that unhappy why didnt you get out. I still give her my full paycheck to pay bills and try to keep the peace. I am not 1 to snoop but sunday when she came home i had it in my gut something was up this weekend. I looked in her overnight bag and found a rose which was devestating to me. I confronted her and told her im not coming over here every 2 weeks with the kids while shes out doing whatever with her new "Friend". I have to pry it out of her to get any info and now i cant trust anything shes says. She lied to me and the counsler right to our faces. I feel so bad for the kids i did screw up and no one wants to make this work more than me . I know going forward i will treat her with the respect, trust and honesty she deserves but she wont let me back in and she wants to file. I think the reason she wanted me out so soon was so she could continue this "thing" she has with this other person. I am truly hurt and devestated by her recent actions. I dont know what to do i am still seeing my counsler and i know he will tell me what i dont want to hear its time to let her go. the last 4 years have not been horrible but its amazing once i got out, she treats me like i am an outcast.


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## Stretch (Dec 12, 2012)

Look friend,

There are things each of us would like to change but sometimes we have to accept the consequences of our actions and accept forgiveness as the best we will get from those we hurt.

I think you know what you have to do and you are hoping someone here will tell you something different.

File the papers, settle your financial situation, make sure your kids are the focus of your energy and move forward to your new life without your wife.

Sorry,
Stretch


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

helpless223 said:


> My wife and I just seperated after 19 years or marriage and 4 children 16,15,12,10. I was unfaithful close to 4 years ago and i take 100% of the blame. My wife forgave me and we tried to move forward. My wife never told her close friends or any of her family so basically she kept this all inside to herself. I agreed to move out 3 years ago but came down with meningitis. This took over 6 months to recover plus i was having a hard time just walking out on the kids. This April my mother was diagnosed with cancer and dies in April. Two weeks later my brother and his wife are still suing my and my sisters over her estate never got a chance to grieve my mother. I moved out on June 1st on the premonition we would give seperation 6 months revisit the marriage. Once i got out my wife started treating me horrible. I have admitted my mistakes over and over she whenever we talk she keeps throwing my mistakes in my face. I have since seeked counseling and have become a much better man. She has not seeked any help in the time i was unfaithful. We split weekends with the kids. I go over and clean the house, vacuum, fold laundry, clean the pool anything i can do to help around. I since have found out she has been seeing someone else while i am at the house with the kids she is out with her new friend. I know i have hurt her and feel horrible over this i want to make things better and treat her like a queen going forward. She came to one of my sessions and told my counsler thats shes not involved with anyone thats the last thing she needs. I had the kids this weekend and on friday never got a call the whole weekend to say where she was staying. I just want some respect in case something happens to me or any of the kids . She told me she texted the kids i said i am the parent here i need to know . She has said many times if you got out 4 years ago things might be different. I say to myself if you were that unhappy why didnt you get out. I still give her my full paycheck to pay bills and try to keep the peace. I am not 1 to snoop but sunday when she came home i had it in my gut something was up this weekend. I looked in her overnight bag and found a rose which was devestating to me. I confronted her and told her im not coming over here every 2 weeks with the kids while shes out doing whatever with her new "Friend". I have to pry it out of her to get any info and now i cant trust anything shes says. She lied to me and the counsler right to our faces. I feel so bad for the kids i did screw up and no one wants to make this work more than me . I know going forward i will treat her with the respect, trust and honesty she deserves but she wont let me back in and she wants to file. I think the reason she wanted me out so soon was so she could continue this "thing" she has with this other person. I am truly hurt and devestated by her recent actions. I dont know what to do i am still seeing my counsler and i know he will tell me what i dont want to hear its time to let her go. the last 4 years have not been horrible but its amazing once i got out, she treats me like i am an outcast.


When you roll out the doormat, many will wipe their feet.


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