# Being Treated Badly?



## MandyMitch (Oct 9, 2021)

I admit I have low self esteem anyway, but I think my husband is treating me s****y. Several years ago, without warning he had an EA with a coworker. He did it right under my nose as I trusted him. He never admitted it nor did he have remorse. Instead he blamed me for not telling him what he was doing was wrong. He said he didn’t know the lines he shouldn’t cross. He called me a psycho and told me I was obsessed with jealousy and because of my actions ge went to see a lawyer. He told me all I did was made his life hell.

All of this blindsided me. It sent me into a total shock and to make it worse I was having health problems. I outed him to family and friends who agreed with me, so he flipped the narrative and lied to them (told them I was nuts).

Then he told our kids Dad is leaving and their mom has mental problems and that he did nothing wrong. Of course they didn’t believe it either because they saw things he did with their own eyes.

Now, we are still together but he treats me like a roommate. He is still somewhat critical to me. He does text me that he loves me, but really never says it verbally. Something feels missing in the marriage, but when I bring it up he says I’m fifty percent responsible and I should show him affection. Sorry but I feel it’s more on him to because of what he’s said and done to me. I feel he should prove it to me as I have honored my vows and stayed with him even though I could have left. What would you think if you had a spouse who treated you like this?


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

If you hang out with garbage you end up smelling like it. If you are too scared to leave him and find a real husband then you will remain in this chit show forever. The problem is that people come to this site looking for magic words that make their problems go away. There is no such thing and never will be. Do the hard thing and leave him or just remain and smell like the company you keep.


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## Jamieboy (Jan 14, 2021)

I say this with greatest compassion, but you both need to make an effort, making him feel like he owes you something will not make things better.

You can't guilt, blackmail, nice or manipulate someone into loving you. If neither, or only one of you makes an effort. You will never succeed in your aims.

I would also ask you to think about what you actually want? If it is true reconciliation, he needs to acknowledge what he did, and you need to forgive.

Marriage counselling might help you both figure out what you want, and if its not each other, it might help with the transition.

I wish you luck


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Why are you begging for scraps from a guy who clearly doesn't love you?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

*MODERATOR WARNING:- *Thanks for stopping by, Liz/Betty/Mandy. Goodbye.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

MattMatt said:


> *MODERATOR WARNING:- *Thanks for stopping by, Liz/Betty/Mandy. Goodbye.


You're good!


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> *MODERATOR WARNING:- *Thanks for stopping by, Liz/Betty/Mandy. Goodbye.


Some people have a lot of time on their hands 😅


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## Jamieboy (Jan 14, 2021)

I don’t get it


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Jamieboy said:


> I don’t get it


Troll with multiple IDs.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

MandyMitch said:


> I admit I have low self esteem anyway, but I think my husband is treating me s****y. Several years ago, without warning he had an EA with a coworker. He did it right under my nose as I trusted him. He never admitted it nor did he have remorse. Instead he blamed me for not telling him what he was doing was wrong. He said he didn’t know the lines he shouldn’t cross. He called me a psycho and told me I was obsessed with jealousy and because of my actions ge went to see a lawyer. He told me all I did was made his life hell.
> 
> All of this blindsided me. It sent me into a total shock and to make it worse I was having health problems. I outed him to family and friends who agreed with me, so he flipped the narrative and lied to them (told them I was nuts).
> 
> ...



He had an affair, he gaslit you and emotionally abused you so that it could be totally swept under the rug and so he would not be held accountable. For all you know it is still going on. He has no respect for you. Start doing a hard 180 on him. Start going out with your friends, ignore him, be polite but act like you don't give a toss about him. When he brings it up, tell him he has 3 months to come clean, after that he can deal with the consequences.
You made a good move to expose him, that is why he was angry.
One question: why on earth should you meet a lying cheater half way. The only thing you should be doing is asking him to be accountable, to come clean or get to hell out of the home. Go see a good lawyer when you are at it.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Troll thread closed.


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