# Divorce



## nickkacey (Jul 14, 2017)

Hi 
Me and my wife we are separated for almost one year. she already claimed alimony lump sum amount and martial property and I have already paid her everything. so if incase of we decide to live together again is it better for us to get divorce first and then live together. who knows in future same problems might come and she again will claim alimony and half of martial property.
any suggestion


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

If you are still married and stop the divorce process, all that money that you paid her already is still marital property.

Have you discussed this with your attorney?


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## nickkacey (Jul 14, 2017)

in the separation agreement it says clearly incase of reunite in future all the monies I paid will not be returned. I paid around 70K and she has already spend those in various things.


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## nickkacey (Jul 14, 2017)

right now I am only paying child support. so living together without divorce or after divorce what's the difference. I was thinking if we live together after divorce then she will not be able to claim again all those things. and if something happens or if we have problem I can just move out don't have to go through all the paper work for separation and divorce again.


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

Huh... why aren't you dating and banging multiple women at the same time? You paid her off, finish the divorce! Are you a weak beta male? Stop thinking about moving back in with her. Go see what else is out there and if you two still want to get back in 5 years, then do it.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I agree that you should go through with the divorce because of what the divorce agreement states. And of not remarry her.

How long ago did you pay her the 70K? What on earth did she blow it all on that quickly?

What are the laws about common law marriage I your state?


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

I would proceed with divorce since you cannot recoup (as marital property) any of the money you already paid her.

Talk to your lawyer first, but personally I would DEFINITELY NOT want finances and legal issues intertwined together again.

If you don't mind my asking - do you want to be together with her again, or is living together just a matter of convenience?


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

This would be a question for your lawyer because it depends on where you live.

In general, divorce is final, whereas separation may have loopholes. For example, if you win the lottery (or get a much better paying job, or she stops working, etc), under a separation there may be a way for her to pry open the door and get more from you. But if you are divorced then that door should be locked tight. If she gets into a car accident, you may be liable for damages if you are still married. But again this is the kind of thing your lawyer will have specific answers on.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Ask your attorney what you could do to protect yourself if you make this decision. A post nump of sorts. SIGN SOMETHING FOR SURE!


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## nickkacey (Jul 14, 2017)

got kids 7 & 8 yrs old that makes me think to live together.. we are already separated for 11 months and NC law requires to be separated for 1 year to get divorced.


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

Kids are not a good reason to live with her and try to make a bad marriage work. It's actually the opposite, it's destructive to the kids to see a dysfunctional relationship 24/7/365.

Are you seeing a therapist? Are you depressed?


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## ReturntoZero (Aug 31, 2015)

GuyInColorado said:


> Kids are not a good reason to live with her and try to make a bad marriage work. It's actually the opposite, it's destructive to the kids to see a dysfunctional relationship 24/7/365.
> 
> Are you seeing a therapist? Are you depressed?


If you already paid the money and she blew it, go ahead with the divorce.

Past is prologue

Be careful next time. And, I think next time sounds likely.

And, if she "cools off" on reconciliation because of the divorce, you know what you need to know.


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## nickkacey (Jul 14, 2017)

after divorce if living together with ex is the ex spouse will still be able to claim for martial property and Alimony. or after divorce ex spouse are legally barred to claim anything even they live together.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

nickkacey said:


> right now I am only paying child support. so living together without divorce or after divorce what's the difference. I was thinking if we live together after divorce then she will not be able to claim again all those things. and if something happens or if we have problem I can just move out don't have to go through all the paper work for separation and divorce again.


why do you want to live with a woman you are getting divorced from?


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Perhaps you could tell us what is your aim here, what is it you are trying to achieve?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

nickkacey said:


> after divorce if living together with ex is the ex spouse will still be able to claim for martial property and Alimony. or after divorce ex spouse are legally barred to claim anything even they live together.


This does not make any sense. Could you please rewrite the above so that we can understand what you saying?


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Depending on where you live, after a certain number of years it could be considered a common law marriage. She could potentially claim you are married at some future time because you have been living together. While this may or may not be accepted by a court, it would be a possibility. Common law marriage does not exist in all states, though.


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## nickkacey (Jul 14, 2017)

Thor said:


> Depending on where you live, after a certain number of years it could be considered a common law marriage. She could potentially claim you are married at some future time because you have been living together. While this may or may not be accepted by a court, it would be a possibility. Common law marriage does not exist in all states, though.




got it


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Stop considering living with her, just get the divorce and MOVE ON.


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