# Can't seem to find couples friends



## guyready4change (May 27, 2013)

Is it just me or is it hard to find "couples friends"? We are in our early 30's, and don't have kids. It seems that a lot of our would be couples friends do have kids, and it is hard to do anything with them. Our other friends who are childless just never seem to be a good match for both of us. We try to hang out with her friends from work and their husbands and nobody seems to really have anything in common. We try to hang out with my friends, either from work or people I have known for awhile, and it is the same scenario. I am kinda starting to think that maybe not all couples have couples friends, and we should just stop trying. Any thoughts? Anyone with the same problem?


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

Are you able to join a local group? For example, a country club, wine club, sailing, or even a card group might cater to couples who are a little older that may have children of an older age (therefore the couple would have more free time to go out with you) or they might be childless also.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

It is tough. So indeed you have to find interest groups.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

You need to date more couples. Any family members likely candidates? How about joining some meetup groups that you both have interests in. 

My SO is active with a groups of women who are without children. They meet once a month for dinner and socializing. Basically, network with people similar to yourselves and see what comes up. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

guyready4change said:


> Is it just me or is it hard to find "couples friends"? We are in our early 30's, and don't have kids. It seems that a lot of our would be couples friends do have kids, and it is hard to do anything with them. Our other friends who are childless just never seem to be a good match for both of us. We try to hang out with her friends from work and their husbands and nobody seems to really have anything in common. We try to hang out with my friends, either from work or people I have known for awhile, and it is the same scenario. I am kinda starting to think that maybe not all couples have couples friends, and we should just stop trying. Any thoughts? Anyone with the same problem?


Friends are over rated.

Build the friendship with your WIFE rather than finding new friends. New friends will only take MORE time away from you 2.



I've noticed that after school (high school/college) friends are hard to come by. people are busy with their lives and can't commit meaningful amount of time for friendships.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

yeah i hear you. We have the same problem, kids grown up and gone, very busy working lives....all we have now are work friends and a very small handful of long term friends.

I just signed up for "meet up" and am getting emails about local events. A lot of them are singles or youth oriented, but SOME are couples oriented or Matures oriented. Gonna sign us up for a few events and see if we can find some new peeps to hang with.


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## long_done (Jun 5, 2014)

Meeting individual good friends is tough... to meet couple friends is even tougher.

I was very lucky to meet some great friends from work, gym, and interest groups that I consider some really best friends. But they are my friends, and not part of a couple friend thing. We don't have any couple friends that both of us like to hang out with all the time.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

being "friends" with couples can have its own problems as well. for example, what if you get along with the husband but your wife --_for whatever reason_ -- doesn't get along with the wife. What if the wife only sees herself as YOUR friend and your wife is simply collateral baggage.

Enduring friendships come in many different packages. Remember to be open to them (but discerning as well).


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Join a meetup group for "couple friends."

Those childless people are so crazy, right?


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## ClimbingTheWalls (Feb 16, 2013)

We've always had plenty of couple friends; when we were in our 20s and 30s they tended to be either other couples without children or couples who were significantly older than us. Going to a country club or something is a good idea.

We go out for a drink at our local bar quite frequently and have also got to know friends from there. Couples who can go out to a bar on a more regular basis rarely have kids.


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## finding-a-path (May 1, 2014)

Jellybeans said:


> Join a meetup group for "couple friends."
> 
> Those childless people are so crazy, right?


why are childless people crazy?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## guyready4change (May 27, 2013)

I don't want to offend anyone who has, or does do this, but I find it kind of weird and awkward to join a group specifically to find friends. I will admit I had thought about it, but I just cant bring myself to do it. I will say I know part of our problem is that we don't really go to bars. We are rather cheap in that way. 

Just as a side note to Finding-a-path; I am pretty sure Jelly Beans was joking.


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## ClimbingTheWalls (Feb 16, 2013)

guyready4change said:


> I don't want to offend anyone who has, or does do this, but I find it kind of weird and awkward to join a group specifically to find friends. I will admit I had thought about it, but I just cant bring myself to do it. I will say I know part of our problem is that we don't really go to bars. We are rather cheap in that way.
> 
> Just as a side note to Finding-a-path; I am pretty sure Jelly Beans was joking.


Well, clearly joining a quilting group if neither of you likes sewing would be madness. But maybe dance classes if you like that, or photography, or a book club. The choices are endless; the main thing is that you should actually be interested in the activity. The friendships may follow.


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

What do you and your wife like to do together? I think as adults, we have to find friends through our interests rather than just deciding that someone seems cool and then "hanging out". Once we're out of school, there isn't anywhere that (usually) couples are all in the same social area. Most couples work in different places and have gone to different colleges etc. There's no big friendship mixing pot like football games used to be. If I were looking for couple friends, I'd probably register the BF and I for a mixed golf league. We've met a lot of people out at festivals and charity mixers. We go to dining events, sports events, travel and always seem to meet people along the way. A few of those encounters have ended up becoming friends that we make an effort to stay in touch with. On my own I've made a lot of friends through volunteering, supper clubs and golf games. 

The benefit to all of those is that no one expects you to come to things like that with an entourage, so it's easy to visit. And since you're doing all of it around an activity, it's much less pressure to become "best friends and lifelong companions" right off the bat.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Friendships are important to us. It's through our experiences with others that our perspective can be broadened in various ways. We can learn from one another as well as have fun and all that jazz. I feel blessed for the girlfriends in my life and dig that hubs has his mates to catch-up with too. 

The commonality amongst our friends (other couples), is that they're transplants from other places, like us. That hasn't been conscious, it's just worked out that way. Our core group of friendships with other couples has generally developed through other friends, such as being introduced at a friend's housewarming and sharing in good conversation, then both making an effort to stay in touch and developing the friendship.

If there's a couple where we don't vibe with one of them, we tend to see them in group settings and won't be as close. The couples we are closest to are the ones where we can hang with them individually, as well as a couple.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

guyready4change said:


> I don't want to offend anyone who has, or does do this, but I find it kind of weird and awkward to join a group specifically to find friends. I will admit I had thought about it, but I just cant bring myself to do it. I will say I know part of our problem is that we don't really go to bars. We are rather cheap in that way.


When we moved overseas, we didn't know anyone. We joined a meetup group for couples new to the city. Whether it's to meet new people or share in a hobby, the cool thing is that you're there for similar reasons. On the way there, hubs and I were making fun of ourselves and wondering what type of group would be there but ...we went. For us, that was the only one we ended up going to - there was another couple we hit it off with. Once the meetup group wrapped-up, they invited us to grab a bite to eat with them. We had a blast. They became good friends. We met other friends through various avenues but even though we no longer live there, we're still in touch with that couple. We miss them!


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

guyready4change said:


> I am kinda starting to think that maybe not all couples have couples friends, and we should just stop trying. Any thoughts? Anyone with the same problem?


My wife and I have been married for 5 years and 10 months. We've been together for 14 years.

I have a plethora of friends.
She has a decent amount of friends.
We have 0 couple friends.

We're very different people who attract and connect with very different people. I know my wife desires for us to have some couple friends, and I'm not a opposed to it. But we don't force it. We both have a few friends that the other likes, but nope, no actual, mutual couple friends to speak of. It's not that big of a deal for us though.


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## finding-a-path (May 1, 2014)

OP, where are you from? any Asian child-free couples here?


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