# The Trade



## Purple Cat (Dec 6, 2012)

I have been reading stuff here for a while and thought I would share something that has been great for my wife, me, and our sex life. We have come up with "The Trade". 

First off, I am fairly HD and she is somewhat LD. I usually want sex more often and she was feeling like we did not have enough close non-sexual time like just cuddling. 

I really like BJs and she really likes getting full body massages. So we came up with the trade. One night, I will give her a full body massage that usually last around 40-45 min. Sometimes ending with oral upon her request...she usually just wants to fall asleep. Then the next night or so, I get a BJ usually with a quick back rub and such first. 

We have tried to work this in about once a week or so and so far it has worked out great for us and has actually resulted in more sex. I think she feels closer and bonds through the massages and that increases her drive. 

Just something good for us that I thought I would share


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

We make bets with such acts as the prize, It's fun and there is no getting out of it. 

So next time you know you're right about something...make a bet and win


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

tracyishere said:


> We make bets with such acts as the prize, It's fun and there is no getting out of it.
> 
> So next time you know you're right about something...make a bet and win


We do this, it really is a fun way to get what we are going to get anyway but with the humour thrown in as well. It doesn't matter who wins or loses the bet as we both win anyway :smthumbup:


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## totamm (May 1, 2012)

I guess it's a workable deal but falls far short of the ideal, which would be both of you getting into it for the pure pleasure of satisfying one another and yourselves, and being mostly on the same page when it comes to sex.

I just hope for your sake she doesn't up the ante.

2 yrs from now it could be "two full body massages and you wash both cars and do all the dishes for a month in exchange for one blow job".


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## LdyVenus (Dec 1, 2012)

tracyishere said:


> We make bets with such acts as the prize, It's fun and there is no getting out of it.
> 
> So next time you know you're right about something...make a bet and win


Me and H do the exact same thing. Make bets for BJ and backrub, winner gets to redeem whenever they want. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

Purple Cat said:


> I really like BJs and she really likes getting full body massages. So we came up with the trade. One night, I will give her a full body massage that usually last around 40-45 min. Sometimes ending with oral upon her request...she usually just wants to fall asleep. Then the next night or so, I get a BJ usually with a quick back rub and such first.


For that matter what is wrong with paying her cash or fixing the plumbing or re-wiring the kitchen or whatever.

I don't understand why a LD wife would refuse giving oral vs any other thing like cooking a dinner or what have you. I am going to guess that it has something to do with resentment and putting the husband down. Withholding sex is pretty dirty pool in my ever humble but infallible opinion. 

If the husband is putting out with what she wants then it seems elementary to me that she should be reciprocating where his needs are most pressing.


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## Purple Cat (Dec 6, 2012)

I do want to point out that she is not holding out. We do have PIV sex but just not as often as I would like. The trade has worked well for us because we both get something that makes us feel loved between our regular sex sessions. Should I tell her to go pay to get a sensual massage from someone else if that is what she is needing to feel close? It has also made it easier for me to ask. For some reason, I was often embarrassed asking for a BJ. She would sometimes give me one when asked but when I offer a trade it is almost every time. It also works out well during that time of the month. 

As for the betting, we do that as well but the trade is something we added to our bag of tricks a while back and it has only helped our sex life.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I feel... whatever "works" for a couple...is a blessing....

Looking back over our past.... I only WISH my husband came up with a plan like this....... because He was more High drive and just didn't come up with ANYTHING more creative to NUDGE me into getting more whoopie/ Hand Jobs/ BJ's... which was kinda insane (in my opinion)....

As he would happily scratch my back and twirl my hair for hours watching a Lifetime movie... then oblivious silly ME would ask if he wanted a "back scratch"... now this was the PERFECT- handed on a platter situation for him to say to me... "NO, honey, but you can scratch here....and guide my hand to his jewels... ... why didn't he do that - to alert me to his need.... 2 hours of hair twirling bliss for a hand job, some whoopie... I would have been game.. .because I LOVED that attention.... yeah.. .he could have bribed me some. Plus I loved sex anyway, he just had to get me started. 

If this works for your marriage... and you are both satisfied.. I think its great!


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

LOL I did something like this a month or so ago. I am in the trades and had to do some work on our rental property. Something I do myself to save money and other things I have to hire out because I don't have the time. Since my wife always pays the bills i have to always let her know when a large bill is coming our way so she can plan for it. 

Well I did this no heat call myself that would have been about $ 1500.00 to replace a blower motor and circuit boad to a furnace. I called her to let her know that I had to pay a guy to fix the furnace and it was pretty expensive and I wrote a check. Well with two kids in college every dime is already accounted for and this was not planned. She was a little taken back but talked about what we would have to do to get the money together to pay the contractor. It was then I told her that I had done the job myself but since I am a contractor by trade she still owed me the money but I was will to barter the work in trade. :smthumbup:

Much relieved that she didn't have to come up with 1500 dollars but I told her she still had to pay the bill. She offered a BJ. and I said a $ 1500 dollar BJ? :rofl: I played the hard core contractor and said there is no such things as a $ 1500 dollar BJ. Even in Los V. I don't think they cost that much. I told her she will just have to pay me the money. More negotiation took place. I told her that I am sorry she might have to pay this down over time and as my scheduled allowed. We agreed a BJ was worth about 120 dollars and if it was really good I would tip accordingly. Full service would be 250 without tip. 

So now I can call her or send her a text and tell her I am available would she like to pay off some of her bill. It works out great and when I give her a huge tip to pay off the bill she smiles like I gave her a real tip. Its been allot of fun and she tells me how much she enjoys it. I dont use my real name when I call for my payment I tell her its Joe the contractor and I need a payment on the bill she owes. Now she is tell me she might need some other things done around the house too and is negotiating what she is will to pay for some of the jobs I would have to do anyways. Working around the house is becoming a lot more fun for both of us!


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

Happyquest said:


> LOL I did something like this a month or so ago. I am in the trades and had to do some work on our rental property. Something I do myself to save money and other things I have to hire out because I don't have the time. Since my wife always pays the bills i have to always let her know when a large bill is coming our way so she can plan for it.
> 
> Well I did this no heat call myself that would have been about $ 1500.00 to replace a blower motor and circuit boad to a furnace. I called her to let her know that I had to pay a guy to fix the furnace and it was pretty expensive and I wrote a check. Well with two kids in college every dime is already accounted for and this was not planned. She was a little taken back but talked about what we would have to do to get the money together to pay the contractor. It was then I told her that I had done the job myself but since I am a contractor by trade she still owed me the money but I was will to barter the work in trade. :smthumbup:
> 
> ...


I had a buddy who made a deal regarding sex. His wife wanted 'roll shutters' on the outside of the house. They made a deal that she would have sex three times a week for the next 6 months if he agreed to the roll shutters.

They got divorced a couple of years later. 

You can pay for sex. But you can't pay for love.


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## mildlyperplexed (Feb 3, 2013)

SadSamIAm said:


> I had a buddy who made a deal regarding sex. His wife wanted 'roll shutters' on the outside of the house. They made a deal that she would have sex three times a week for the next 6 months if he agreed to the roll shutters.
> 
> They got divorced a couple of years later.
> 
> You can pay for sex. But you can't pay for love.


True but there's also nothing wrong with a bit of cheeky role play


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## totamm (May 1, 2012)

SadSamIAm said:


> I had a buddy who made a deal regarding sex. His wife wanted 'roll shutters' on the outside of the house. They made a deal that she would have sex three times a week for the next 6 months if he agreed to the roll shutters.
> 
> They got divorced a couple of years later.
> 
> You can pay for sex. But you can't pay for love.


I doubt they got divorced because of the deal they made.

He made the deal because he wasn't getting sex, because there were problems in the marriage that could not be fixed by making a deal and since they were not properly addressed, eventually everything crashed and burned.


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