# Am I in the wrong?



## AprilFool (Sep 11, 2017)

A few months back, our neighbor came over and started talking about he and his wife only having one car, due to unforeseen circumstances at that time. I mentioned to him that he needs to buy a pick up truck (he always uses ours to pick up bulky items, firewood, etc.) His reply to me was "F*** Off". My husband said nothing to him. About a month later, he was in my garage, and I was kidding with him about something, his reply was "SHUT UP". Again, nothing from my husband. I told him it was my house and I don't have to shut up in my house. Just yesterday, I figured I'm going to give him some crap back to him because he deserves it, so I joked with him about his college team losing on Saturday and said "Go ______". MY husband told me to stop and this neighbor again told me to "F*** Off". I asked my husband hours later why he told me to stop but said nothing to the neighbor? His reply was, I started it. Did I deserve to be told to "F*** Off" twice and to be told to shut up? Should I have been defended? My husband now tells me that the neighbor was just kidding, and that I instigated him. In what way???? I am so mad that my husband defended the neighbor over me.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

My advice is to stay well away from the neighbour!


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

You are not in the wrong.

Your husband should be defending you rather than the neighbor.

However, I do wonder why you keep interacting with this person when he clearly despises you. What is in it for you?


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

I say you are not in the wrong; however, there must be a cultural difference here. Apparently, even though it seems harsh, it must be perceived more light heartedly by both sides than it would be with me. 

I never try to play a tough guy, but if someone talked that way to me or anyone in my family on my property, that would be his last trip to my house and the last time he borrowed my truck. 

As I said, perhaps there is a difference in culture. I have come to realize that some people drop the f bomb and it's just normal, but it's not with me or my friends.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Where do these Fruit Loops come from?

Who is spreading these weeds?

Hus-banned, and Neigh-bore! :grin2:

Dik Weeds!


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

Why exactly do you stay in contact with this person, let alone allow him on your property?


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

AprilFool said:


> A few months back, our neighbor came over and started talking about he and his wife only having one car, due to unforeseen circumstances at that time. I mentioned to him that he needs to buy a pick up truck (he always uses ours to pick up bulky items, firewood, etc.) His reply to me was "F*** Off". My husband said nothing to him. About a month later, he was in my garage, and I was kidding with him about something, his reply was "SHUT UP". Again, nothing from my husband.


Personally, I would not expect my husband to say something. He would not wind up with the chance because *I* would. It would be something like, yah, jerk face, good luck boring our truck anymore if you are going to be a raging a-you know what.



> I told him it was my house and I don't have to shut up in my house.


YES.



> Just yesterday, I figured I'm going to give him some crap back to him because he deserves it, so I joked with him about his college team losing on Saturday and said "Go ______". MY husband told me to stop and this neighbor again told me to "F*** Off". I asked my husband hours later why he told me to stop but said nothing to the neighbor? His reply was, I started it. Did I deserve to be told to "F*** Off" twice and to be told to shut up? Should I have been defended? My husband now tells me that the neighbor was just kidding, and that I instigated him. In what way???? I am so mad that my husband defended the neighbor over me.



Ugh. You need this neighbor like you need a hole in the head. Your husband... I don't get it.


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## ThaMatrix (Sep 3, 2017)

I would have slapped him so hard his soul would have left his body.


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## Works (Apr 3, 2016)

ThaMatrix said:


> I would have slapped him so hard his soul would have left his body.


:rofl:


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Where are you living?

It could be

a. cultural differences, I know some people in the UK will say FO as an exclamation or SUp if surprised. 
Are you a different culture?

b. The neighbor is a crass AH whom you should also tell to FO and tell him he is no longer welcome to your place.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Anyone who tells my wife or partner to shut up in our home will get a friendly warning to watch his mouth and his manners. The second time he does it I won't be so friendly and a smack in his big mouth will be the result. 
I don't care what part of the world you are from you don't insult someone in their own home and expect to get away with it.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

What surprises me is not your husband, but your own clear *lack* of self respect.

Every time this ass-clown has told you to f*** off or said some other vile thing to you, you haven't said a thing, so you basically taught him that he can disrespect you in your own home.

That's what you taught this POS, and that's what he keeps doing.

Unfortunately, your husband is probably too passive like you, and is obviously afraid to man up and say something to him about respecting his home and his wife when he's over there.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

ThaMatrix said:


> I would have slapped him so hard his soul would have left his body.


That would have just escalated things. In this day and age of litigation and zero tolerance, anyone slapping anyone is potentially looking at being taken by police down to jail for booking and maybe a night in the jail.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

My suggestion is always stand up for yourself -- don't depend on someone else to do it for you -- and stay away from your neighbor.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

When someone tell an account they usually build up their version to strenghen their case . 

With that said unless my wife,was acting like an asshat I would have said shes my wife and if you can't be respectfull then were going to have a problem . And it going to start with my boot in your ass.

But remember this is someone you have to live with next door probably best to just advoid this person.


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## ThaMatrix (Sep 3, 2017)

Young at Heart said:


> That would have just escalated things. In this day and age of litigation and zero tolerance, anyone slapping anyone is potentially looking at being taken by police down to jail for booking and maybe a night in the jail.


You dont go to jail for slapping someone it's a class C misdameanor and if you do you can get bailed out for a few hundred bucks. Besides I dont give a damn. Somebody standing in my garage cussing at my wife is gonna get checked real quick.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

You are not in the wrong and if anyone said that to my wife in my presence, they would be picking themselve off the floor. 

Shame on your husband for allowing it to happen.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

OP, you need to defend yourself when the neighbor insults you unprovoked. Yes, it would be nice if your husband would have stuck up for you, but ultimately, you are responsible for you.

The whole joke about rooting for his rival team was a little dumb, but it certainly didn't warrant him telling you to **** off. You need to make it clear to your husband that he is either on your side or he's not, and if he's not on your side (and choosing the neighbor's side), then he can go sleep at the neighbor's house. Make it clear that this loser neighbor is no longer welcome in your home or on your property if he cannot treat you with respect, and you need your husband to back you up on this (which also means that your husband doesn't go over to the neighbor's house to play, and no more lending of the truck, power tools, or other toys).

And the next time the neighbor knocks on your door or asks to borrow something, you need to stand up for yourself and address it in no uncertain terms:

"Neighbor, in the last three times you have been here, you have disrespected me on all three occasions, telling me to '**** off' and 'shut up.' This is unacceptable behavior, and I will not tolerate disrespect, especially not in my own home and on my own property. Until you grow up and learn to treat me with respect and common human decency, you are not welcome in my home, nor are you welcome to borrow our truck or socialize with my husband."


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Just so you know. No man is going to press charges after doing something like that and getting hit. You think they are going to stand up in front of a judge and tell him or her what he did to get knocked down.


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

I'm thinking the husband either has no balls or thinks the neighbour can kick his ass easily.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

manwithnoname said:


> I'm thinking the husband either has no balls or thinks the neighbour can kick his ass easily.


Or really doesn't give a damn about his wife.


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## flower36 (Sep 15, 2017)

Diana7 said:


> My advice is to stay well away from the neighbour!


Exactly!


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