# I Miss My Home and He Won't Move



## zonieredhead (Mar 6, 2011)

I am 52 years old and have been married for 7 years this month. Approximately 3 months after my husband and I got married he got a job offer in Florida working for the same company he was working for in AZ. The company was coming to FL to do hurricane clean-up. We never really talked about whether it would be a permanent move or not at the time. (Silly me!!) My children were all adults and I wanted a change from Phoenix, so I looked at it as a new adventure. In October of 2004 I moved to FL. I was ok with the move at first. We found a house, I started to work and things were going along smoothly. One of my friends moved to FL to embark on a new life and she lived with us for awhile. Things were good! After I had been here for approximately 18 months, I started missing my family. I talked to my husband and he didn't have a problem with me moving to MO where my parents had recently retired and moved to. (My dad's family is all from MO.) I moved up there and stayed for a while, then came back to Florida. I didn't stay here long before I was ready to leave again. So, this time I went and lived with my best friend in MN for 6 months. After I left there, I went back to MO. Then back to FL and then back to MO and now I'm back in FL again. You get the picture - this has been an on-going battle with me. I've come to the conclusion that since I left Phoenix in 2004, I haven't felt like I've been 'home' since. This last time I moved to FL, I sold all of my furniture and decided it was for good. I moved into the 5th wheel my husband had been living in and tried planting down some roots. 

I just can't do it! I'm not happy here. I have no friends here, no family and now I'm in a depression that won't lift even though I am on medication and seeing a psychiatrist. I can't afford to see a therapist right now, so I'm hoping I can work through this with people on this site.

I've talked to my husband about this a few times in the past couple of months and he just won't budge. FL isn't his home either. He is from CA. I've tried explaining to him that I feel like this is it for me. Living in a 5th wheel in FL with no friends and family around. I have nothing to look forward to. I have asked him if we can talk about setting a goal and saving the money to move back to AZ or even CA. I'm not asking him to just pick up and move with no jobs, no money, etc. I want to do this in a reasonable manner. But he told me at dinner last night he could never see himself moving back to Phoenix. 

Please help me someone!! I need to talk this through. Am I being unreasonable? 

Zonieredhead


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

I see your husband's point. Geography doesn't seem to be your problem. But you see it as the problem.

A person can bloom wherever they plant themself.

You can make new friends and join the community.

A 5th wheel is pretty cramped living conditions, but it is a start.

If you can't tolerate living with HIM, then start over somewhere else by yourself.

I am sure that if you two both move to Arizona you will still be unsatisfied.


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## zonieredhead (Mar 6, 2011)

I totally agree with you when you say you can bloom wherever you plant yourself. I guess the part that is so hard for me is missing out on my grandkids and as I get older I miss the girlfriend relationships I had in Phoenix. Unfortunately, I am not married to my best friend and we don't share much in common. It's not that he's not tolerable, but he isn't one to go out and do things. I'm a social person, he would rather be at home watching the tv.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

It doesn't sound like your marriage is much an interest to you. Maybe you ought to just move to Arizona permanently.


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