# Confused and honestly angry and alone



## Reban2 (Oct 22, 2020)

This is very recent,my husband left in a rage after I said maybe we needed a separation. This is after he ignored me for 3 days straight.. whenever he gets overwhelmed or upset he emotionally abandons me and our children! There's so many problems in this marriage, and recently a great deal of stress his family. His family is a huge issue however I've done whatever I can to be there and be a good wife and daughter-in-law. We really love each other (at least i think) and I thought this was just another fight but he's really been ignoring me and both of our daughters which is what's hurting me the most. Whenever he's upset it doesn't seem like they're his. I have to work through the pain and suffering with them, and he gets to go take off and run up under mommy. I'm just feeling really hurt and confused as to whether I should be with him or not I need somebody to talk to so bad. Someone who gets it.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

I’m sorry for what you’re going through. You will get some help here when people log in but you need to give more information.


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

You will find people here who "get it". Please give us a specific example, what happened, what behaviors, you have told us how his behavior makes you feel, but we need something so we can sort "normal" and "abnormal" (this, is of course, opinion, but may be helpful for you.

Tell us the why of the "fight".....

Like:


Reban2 said:


> whenever he gets overwhelmed or upset he emotionally abandons me and our children


I probably do the same thing, too. It's part of my personality to go to my "cave" when I need to figure things out.



Reban2 said:


> he gets to go take off and run up under mommy


His mother may have been a good advisor and helpful person in his life for a long time. Maybe you should speak to your husband about transferring his mother's role in his life to you......

But, there is nothing, nothing else God made that is like a mother's love.... 

My mother is gone, more than 20 years. My mother was probably the only person allowed in my "cave" .... I couldn't trust either of my wives to be in there.... I understood they were working on their own agenda. My mother was someone I could trust. She proved that over years, she might not have the advice I wanted, but I KNEW she was there "for me". My wives were there "for them".....

Not saying this has any relation to your husband and you, only illustrating why I had a "cave".....


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## Nailhead (Sep 21, 2020)

The silent treatment is passive aggressive. This is a form of abuse. Second, your H needs to get a set and cut the apron strings from momma. In short, your H is a child.


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## Aviator (Oct 22, 2020)

I think you should hold firm and let him run off to mommy. Maybe you could run the house however you need until he returns (ie spend his money on your pet projects say replacing/upgrading bathrooms or kitchen cabinets or appliances). Or as an alternative hire babysitters or housekeepers to keep things running until he returns. Then when he comes home and says “you replaced//fixed/hired X” you can say “you weren’t here so I took matters into my own hands”. Make it a good time for yourself when he’s gone... that’ll show him he can’t run from problems.

That would be so hilarious if he returned to find a full scale kitchen remodel underway


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## moulinyx (May 30, 2019)

How old are both of you?

The fact that this boy runs to his mother's house instead of handling the affairs of his household says it all. He is not ready to lead and run a home. You should not have to wonder if he will rise to the occasion and be your rock. 

At this point, it does not matter what the argument was. This is his pattern when he gets upset. Don't build a life with someone who quits on you when things get tough.


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## Skiguy31 (Oct 13, 2020)

Really hope it works out for you two


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

He sounds immature and abusive. Sit him down and talk to him. Suggest counselling. Is he a mummys boy. Men nor women should run to their parents, they should sit with their spouse and sort stuff out. I suggest you get therapy for yourself To deal with this. How old are you, how old are your children?


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

File for divorce while he’s gone. The silent treatment is abuse and he is not only doing it to you, but to your children as well, which is ridiculous. He’s a giant child and not a partner. No one should have to tolerate this behavior. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Sammy874 (Nov 14, 2020)

Be done with hes hurting me, be about making yourself happy.. do things you like and hang with the kidz. Make plans be very busy and unavailable.. focusing on you.. hes not healthy, you don't feel healthy. One of u have to be healthy so focus on you..


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

What he's doing, as Naildead already said


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