# Miss her voice



## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

I'm having a really rough night, no kids until Tuesday, I feel really alone, and I jus want to hear my stbxw's voice again. I hate this so much! I'm close to just giving up I think.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jayb (Mar 6, 2012)

Hang in there. Feel blah myself. 

We'll make it through no matter.


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## LonelyHusband (Sep 2, 2011)

proudwidaddy said:


> I'm having a really rough night, no kids until Tuesday, I feel really alone, and I jus want to hear my stbxw's voice again. I hate this so much! I'm close to just giving up I think.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I sometimes feel the same way...in the middle of a divorce myself, with 5 kids....I just take it day by day and try to keep my mind on the good things....being alive, smelling the flowers, playing with my kids and seeing them smile.


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## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

Sorry for what you're going through. Hang in there. Distract yourself with a movie or a book and see if it helps get your mind off of this feeling.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

drop a fork in the garbage disposal. that's what I do.


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## Traggy (Jan 26, 2012)

Love you Proud. Hang in there buddy. You are going to be alright. Wife wanted to R with no remorse for the affair. My head is spinning now. lol Women.

Stood my ground, got the heart ripped out again. Told I wasn't a man.

Don't think I am going to miss that voice.


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## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

That's where I was a year ago, missing the sound of STBXH's voice. Believed just hearing it on the phone would make me feel better. Guess where I am now? No longer want to hear his voice 'cause now it just makes me think of fingernails scraping down a chalkboard, making my teeth and ears hurt and my skin crawl. Didn't ever think the sound of him would have that effect on me after 25 years but it does. He still calls and I refuse to answer, only texts or email and only biz. Think he's finally getting the hint but accuses me of game playing everytime I don't answer. I just feel stronger each time and the longer I go without hearing his voice, the better I get.


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## papa5280 (Oct 12, 2011)

I found a solution for that...being around her again.

My STBXW walked out 6 months ago to find herself. We have kids together, and in February my 14 YO daughter had an out of state soccer tournament. We already had the tickets, so we all took the trip. We didn't stay together, but I rented a car and drove everywhere.

One day, I was following my phone's GPS directions to the soccer field we hadn't been to yet, and my STBX started criticizing the directions ("everyone else turned there. We should have, too."). Well, we got to the field before the others in the caravan who made the turn my STBX wanted to take. After my daughter got out, here was the exchange:

Me: Thank you!
STBX: Why?
Me: For reminding me how happy I am that I don't have to listen to that stuff anymore.
STBX: *crickets*

I know it ticked her off, but it was worth it.


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## MeetVirginia (Feb 17, 2012)

The song, "Life Aint Always Beautiful" by Gary Allen is great!!!! Listen to it!


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## madaboutlove (Aug 28, 2011)

I almost made the call tonight, the one that would let me hear his voice. Must just be that kind of day, no special reason, just thinking about the drive home how I would always check in about dinner plans, time of arrival etc. and it hits me, no reason to check. And I turned up the stereo in the car, sang out loud, and got my self set up for a good run on the treadmill in my head. ANd then I came here and found you all. Thanks!


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## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

It's natural to miss the good times, but it isn't the good times that have brought you to this point. You can cherish your fond memories while still recognizing that the separation between you both serves a purpose. That being said, missing your partner is miserable regardless of the reason that has brought to to be.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

Moxy you are right. I think i suffer from what other rejected people suffer from, I look back at the relationship and think of only the good times, I must remember the bad things she's done up to the point, and even after the separation. For her to do what she did, she is not thinking of the good times right now. I have to somehow realize that at one point she was the best for me, but now she is not.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

proudwidaddy said:


> Moxy you are right. I think i suffer from what other rejected people suffer from, I look back at the relationship and think of only the good times, I must remember the bad things she's done up to the point, and even after the separation. For her to do what she did, she is not thinking of the good times right now. I have to somehow realize that at one point she was the best for me, but now she is not.


Think about all the bad things she did. All the annoying habits. The way she mocked you in front of her parents when you were crying and reaching out to them after she heartlessly dumped you. Keep those images in the front of your brain. 

To hell with that b*tch.


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## SRN (Mar 20, 2012)

(500) Days of Summer. Watch it.
Captures modern relationships perfectly. The euphoria of meeting "The One" and how great it is juxtaposed against how women (sorry ladies) can just turn into malevolent ice queen *****es on a dime. 
I had intentionally not watched it until Sunday because it was one of "our" favorite movies. But it was worth it. Got me to start thinking about all the bad times.


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## papa5280 (Oct 12, 2011)

SRN said:


> (500) Days of Summer. Watch it.
> Captures modern relationships perfectly. The euphoria of meeting "The One" and how great it is juxtaposed against how women (sorry ladies) can just turn into malevolent ice queen *****es on a dime.


I saw it for the first time a few weeks ago. I agree, It has good insight. Not sure I'd recommend it for those who are still in emotional turmoil, though.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Proudwidaddy,

While I smile when I read Bandit's encouragement regarding the proper place of this woman in your life, there's something swimming below the surface here.

Your neediness for her won't be "fixed" by finding some other woman to be needy with.

Be careful.


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## melissa68 (Feb 10, 2012)

Conrad said:


> Proudwidaddy,
> 
> While I smile when I read Bandit's encouragement regarding the proper place of this woman in your life, there's something swimming below the surface here.
> 
> ...


Oh I so agree and can relate to this. After my first marriage broke up I was a mess. I couldn't face what had happened...that a man I had been with for 15 yrs didn't want me...I couldn't face myself or what was happening so I was rarely alone...either online or dating or anything to avoid dealing with it. A few short years later I met my now H and because of his own issues of being needy we jumped right in to a full fledge relationship. The red flags were waving from the first month but I ignored them, tore them down, buried them...everything to ignore the signs that I was with an abusive person and not the 'love of my life'. I've said it in other posts but I think in some sick way, I got something out of his constantly leaving me and coming back....he came back to me like my first H didn't...
Long story short I am now alone again and have over 8 years of abuse to work out for myself and my kids....was it worth it to avoid being alone? no
Work on yourself first so you can be with the type of woman who will treat you right and love you for the right reasons.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

melissa68 said:


> Oh I so agree and can relate to this. After my first marriage broke up I was a mess. I couldn't face what had happened...that a man I had been with for 15 yrs didn't want me...I couldn't face myself or what was happening so I was rarely alone...either online or dating or anything to avoid dealing with it. A few short years later I met my now H and because of his own issues of being needy we jumped right in to a full fledge relationship. The red flags were waving from the first month but I ignored them, tore them down, buried them...everything to ignore the signs that I was with an abusive person and not the 'love of my life'. I've said it in other posts but I think in some sick way, I got something out of his constantly leaving me and coming back....he came back to me like my first H didn't...
> Long story short I am now alone again and have over 8 years of abuse to work out for myself and my kids....was it worth it to avoid being alone? no
> Work on yourself first so you can be with the type of woman who will treat you right and love you for the right reasons.


Melissa,

You are totally on this.

If you find yourself "missing the voice" of someone who willfully ripped your heart out, the next number in your rolodex HAS to be that of a capable counselor.

And, don't stop going until you value yourself enough that you don't feel this way anymore.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

Conrad & Melissa,
While I miss her voice I do realize that it is more the familiarity of what I had that I truly miss. I miss the routines, etc. Also, it is due to the fear of the unknown that I keep romanticizing the relationship more than I should. I need to think of all the negative selfish acts that got us here. I know that we don't connect anymore, she is not the same person that she was when I feel in love with her. I am worth more than just hanging around for bread crumbs. Besides, if I did that what type of example does that set for my children.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## melissa68 (Feb 10, 2012)

Proud, I still miss that too..just having someone to be with. You are worth more....so much more than someone who doesnt love you with their entire being. You have so much love to give...you deserve that in return. Be someones priority never their option. 

Hugs


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

Melissa,
You are right, I would rather give nothing and get nothing back, then give 100% to someone to only get a fraction of love returned.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jayb (Mar 6, 2012)

proudwidaddy said:


> Conrad & Melissa,
> *While I miss her voice I do realize that it is more the familiarity of what I had that I truly miss. I miss the routines, etc. Also, it is due to the fear of the unknown that I keep romanticizing the relationship more than I should.* I need to think of all the negative selfish acts that got us here. I know that we don't connect anymore, *she is not the same person that she was when I feel in love with her*. I am worth more than just hanging around for bread crumbs. Besides, if I did that what type of example does that set for my children.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I know we circle back to that. Maybe repetition will cause us to appreciate it enough to accept it and move on.

Sometimes, I just think, wtf happened??


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Proud,

I know a way to get her voice out of your head...

Now where's my 2x4? :scratchhead:


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

Bandit.....trust me brother.....I could feel the 2x4 smacking me upside my head, thanks brother.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Traggy (Jan 26, 2012)

I think bandit is Hacksaw Jim Duggin.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

Heeeyyyyyy Ohhhhhh
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Traggy (Jan 26, 2012)

proudwidaddy said:


> Heeeyyyyyy Ohhhhhh
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Lol, feels good to smile on this board once in a while


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Between smacking Scione and Proud my biceps are getting massive.


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## Traggy (Jan 26, 2012)

Derailment train coming through, but Bandit reminded me about something Proud.

Have you tried working out and exercising when you get down? The endorphins released after a good work out do wonders in times like these. I highly recommend it.


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