# Husband vs Parents



## blueyes_223

To make a long story short, my husband and I have been together since I was 16. We married when I was 25. My parents and my husband have had an incredible relationship up to 3 years ago. My father and husband stopped talking because my dad would not help us move into our first house.
Well April of this year, I was 6 months pregnant with our 3rd child, when my husband told me he was not happy and wanted to end our relationship. I was heartbroken, did not know what to do, so I turned to my parents for an apartment to move in to. My mom who always had a good relationship with my husband flipped out on him, accusing him of cheating etc. Well right after I moved out of our home with our children (packing for weeks while 8 months pregnant!) my husband came to his senses and wanted his family back. Needless to say, I took him back. He is now living in the apartment with me and our 3 children, while we sell our home. Well now that words have been said on both sides, my husband hates my parents as he thinks they are trying to control me, my parents hate my husband because they think he is using me and that staying married is the easy way out - and I am stuck in the middle, since we all live in the same apartment building (which my family owns). I don’t know what to do. I hate this feeling, it is making me depressed knowing that they were so close before and now it’s gone. Knowing the holidays are right around the corner is making it more difficult as our ‘Family Traditions’ are not going to work this year.. Please Any advice on what to do would be great..


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## Blanca

blueyes_223 said:


> since we all live in the same apartment building (which my family owns).


so your H hates your parents but has no problem living off them? Hmmm...i dont know about that. Im surprised they dont tell him he has to go. why did you sell your house? why do your parents think he stayed with you out of convenience?


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## blueyes_223

We are not living off of them, we pay them rent, we are just renting one of their apartments, I guess my parents think he is with me so he doesn't have to pay me child support. But like I said we have been together for 16 years and this is the first and only incident like this.


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## Bluemoon7

I can't really blame your parents for not being thrilled about this. It is an incredibly lowly, and selfish thing to suddenly want to divorce your wife who is 8 months pregnant with your third kid and after 16 years of being together. And it does seem like he didn't think divorce through and perhaps does see staying together as easier. Has your relationship improved at all since he came back? What makes you think he wouldn't do this again? 

If you do think he really has changed and does want to be with you, then you'll probably want to talk to your parents. Tell them that you understand why they are hesitant to forgive and forget, you know they just want whats best for you and their grandkids. But you want to try to keep your family together and this means giving him another chance. That you would appreciate if they could be civil with him at gatherings.


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## blueyes_223

Thank you Bluemoon7...
The relationship has improved, but like with anything else in life, your never 100% sure of it. I never thought in a million years he would have done that to me, so I don't know if he would ever do that again. I like to think that he can to his senses, I would love to be able to believe every word he tells me, but right now that is hard. i don't blame my parents for the way they feel, but I would like to move past this all for the sake of my children.


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## 4sure

You are 25 I'm assuming he is 25 or older. You two are adults, you don't need mom and dads approval. Mom and dad need to realize you are a grown woman who is making her own decisions. If they are wrong than so be it. We all make mistakes no matter what age we are. 

Your husband may have been overwhelmed with the responsiblilty of 3 children. Then came to his senses and returned to take care of his family. He is not taking the easy way out. He could have disappeared, and abandoned his family, but he did not.

He is the man in your life, and the dad to the kids. He hates the fact that your parents are trying to run his and your family.

Sit down with parents and explain you and h are working on the marriage. You want it to work, and they need to respect your decision. You need to establish boundaries with them.
Good luck


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## michzz

Simple solution to your parents very real concern that they may be taken advantage of.

Even if you say you are paying rent, I'll bet it is less than what they can get from another tenant. BTW, do you pay for all of your utilities or do they subsidize you in any way?

Make arrangements to move out to somewhere they do not own.

Have your husband do all the packing and arrangements.

Don't have any hard feelings towards them for worrying about their pregnant daughter. That's what parent do.

Your husband did a lousy thing and it will take awhile before they trust he has you and their grandchildrens' best interests at heart.

It's pretty much up to him to begin the repair. 

From their point of view they stepped up to protect you from abandonment by your husband while you are pregnant with your third child.

He returning has their warning flags raised.


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## blueyes_223

To Michz - Actually I pay the same rent that the other tenants do, and I pay all my utlilitizes plus I help my parents out with some of the House bills that they normally would not get help for.
My husband would love to move somewhere else but this is my family's house, I was brought up here, and I feel very comfortable here. and I think that would hurt my parents if I was to move to another rental property.

To 4sure - I am a little older than 25, but I do wish I was 25 again... lol, what you said is exactly what he said, he was very overwhelmed with everything, and needed to figure things out, I think once I actually left then he realized it was serious.

thank you both


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