# What is normal in the bedroom?



## DNewsom77 (Apr 26, 2010)

There is a pretty significant gap between my sexual desires and my wife's, both in terms of frequency and variety. She is quite sexually reserved. She doesn't want sex often, and where we do have sex, she just lays there passively. It has gotten to the point where I can't even ask her to try things because I know I'll get shot down, she'll feel guilty, and I'll feel ashamed. I guess my question is, what is considered "normal" by women? I know there are some things that most women aren't interested in and I can respect that. I suppose I'd like to know which of my wife's views are out of the norm. I've never been with anyone but my wife, so I just don't know what a reasonable request is. I don't think I want to give all of our specific details publicly, but I could share in a private message if anyone would like to give some input.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Not sure if you & the wife are Christians or not, but if so, even if not so, I heartily recommend this book for her to read , maybe you can go through it together. 

It will help her open her mind, get rid of wrong thinking - if she has any about sex (I know I sure did yrs ago), and explore with you. So many examples, ideas, truly laying out the Why's it is SOOOO important in marraige to please each other. 

I really dont think there is anything better out there for a "reserved" possibly repressed wife to read in book form. This will not likely offend her senses in any way, but help her see the Love & joy in making love and the importance of intimacy & how the sky is the limit once you are married. 

Amazon.com: Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy…


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## DNewsom77 (Apr 26, 2010)

SimplyAmorous, I'll definitely check out that book. My wife acknowledges her issues, so I think she'd be open to reading it. She's read other books and tried counseling, and hasn't made much progress, so we are both losing hope a bit. That's why I'm wondering if I just need to change my view of the importance of physical intimacy.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

D,
I am a HD male married 20+ years to a LD wife. We have always had a high frequency because she was agreeable to letting me arouse her when she does not start out feeling desire. In a perfect world you both feel:
- desire
- arousal
- orgasm

In our world I would start out feeling desire and then she would let me slowly get her aroused even though she did NOT start out feeling desire. 

Before being aroused she dislikes having her breasts or V touched. But a back massage, lower back massage, butt massage, inner thigh massage sequence - that works like a champ for her. 

And playful wrestling where I overpower her - that works also. 



DNewsom77 said:


> There is a pretty significant gap between my sexual desires and my wife's, both in terms of frequency and variety. She is quite sexually reserved. She doesn't want sex often, and where we do have sex, she just lays there passively. It has gotten to the point where I can't even ask her to try things because I know I'll get shot down, she'll feel guilty, and I'll feel ashamed. I guess my question is, what is considered "normal" by women? I know there are some things that most women aren't interested in and I can respect that. I suppose I'd like to know which of my wife's views are out of the norm. I've never been with anyone but my wife, so I just don't know what a reasonable request is. I don't think I want to give all of our specific details publicly, but I could share in a private message if anyone would like to give some input.


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## Dave321 (Aug 4, 2010)

Normal?Wow that could go on forever.You got to find that for you two.If she holding out for what ever reason,you need to find out, and that want come from us but her.You need to get in to this women head,and then her heart,then her body.And in doing this you can't push her,or she dig a da^&*m where you can't follow,so be wise to take it slow.Don't feel her up on he said/she said.Listen there is a nice and place we all have for someone inside of us all.Find the key help her nock down the walls.Time is part/the way you go about it is the other.Talk to her and let her speak.Understand her word,not yours,but her.You are sitting on such pot of gold.


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