# Anyone Out There For Me



## unreal (Mar 12, 2011)

Hi,

I have been through a divorce, which was best for both of us, however I have had a lot of bad luck with girls in the past right from school to my marriage something always seems to go wrong and I am losing hope if my soul mate is out there. I am a simple guy with simple work, but in a complicated world where money talks and personality is extinct nowadays from people I see. 

Anyone been in my situation and see a new light?


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

unreal said:


> Hi,
> 
> I have been through a divorce, which was best for both of us, however I have had a lot of bad luck with girls in the past right from school to my marriage something always seems to go wrong and I am losing hope if my soul mate is out there. I am a simple guy with simple work, but in a complicated world where money talks and personality is extinct nowadays from people I see.
> 
> Anyone been in my situation and see a new light?


I can say that I can relate. I never had a lot of luck with relationships until I met my x-wife in my early 20s. We married, and I thought I had my soul mate until she wanted a divorce after 18 years because she "wasn't happy." 

I feel like I am just too plain and simple for people today. I guess I'm just living like my parents did and thought that was a great life for anyone. We were a middle class family. My dad had a great job at a factory and my mother stayed home with us kids. We weren't "on the go" all the time. We weren't vacation people. I spent the summer playing with my cousin riding bikes and doing all the outdoor stuff that young boys do. We loved being at home. 

I'm currently in my 40s and continue to enjoy that lifestyle. I've noticed that most middle class people my age aren't happy unless they are on the move all the time. They go on two or three vacations every year, have a boat, a camper, and everything else under the sun.

Being a simple guy like me just doesn't attract a lot of attention these days. To answer your question, though, I'm sure there is someone for you. I'm just seem to be enjoying myself too much to want another relationship.


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## raising5boyz (Nov 8, 2008)

Did you read the post...."Be real with my please"? 

I understand! Perhaps for different reasons....but he end result is the same....is there someone out there for me? 

Sorry, no answers....just understanding...hang in there....I still believe there is hope!


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

I wonder too. I'm living what feels like a hermit. But I know I'm not ready for a relationship, still have baggage. 

Day by day, I'm getting antsy for a life. School doesn't start until January and so I have time. And when I'm not busy these thoughts creep in. Did he love me when I left? Why is he so angry when I wasn't the one that cheated? Is he angry because I got out so fast like a scalded cat?

I wonder too whether I'll meet my match but I have to let go of that and just discover myself again, I guess. But having companionship most of my life makes this difficult.


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## unreal (Mar 12, 2011)

Thanks for advice I am trying to keep my chin up, but its tough seeing someone you like but then thinking they could be the devil your marrying.


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## Lowlife (Nov 27, 2011)

Welcome to the club. I too thought I had found my "soul mate". 12 years of marriage and it was over. Turned out she didn't really know what she wanted and my outdoor lifestyle was not it. It sounded good to her at first but when she realized it was a really a "lifestyle"...that was it, done. Even when I gave up a lot of it, it wasn't enough. How we find that someone who gets us is a mystery to me. 

I will say I have a friend that seems to fit the profile I'm looking for in almost every way possible. But alas....she has her own set of baggage/issues to deal with, so I don't know. Met her totally by chance at work, which also complicates things. For now we are just friends and I don't push it. Keep the faith.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Ok so we're all in the same boat.

My new thinking is this: Nothing lasts forever. If you meet someone, great. If you don't, great. Not everything is meant to last and certainly not all marriages.

I personally do not believe in soulmates. I think we can either work at our relationships or not. I think it takes two for it to work (not one person alone). I think sometimes the people we meet are only supposed to be in our lives for a certain amount of time and that's it. Some lucky people do end up with someone "til death do us part" but that is a real rarity nowadays.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

I used to think my husband was my soulmate. In the end, all he did was suck the living soul out of me. 

If you can be happy on your own, being by yourself then you can move on and find someone else. Another person isn't going to make you happy. You have to achieve that on your own. 

More often than not, when you aren't looking for a relationship, it'll find you. 

My daughter is an example of this. After she broke up with her boyfriend all she did was date constantly, looking for that replacement. When she finally stopped chasing down a relationship and was happy just being on her own, she met someone who she is now dating. Seems to happen a lot.


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## Lowlife (Nov 27, 2011)

FWIW - What I realized after being on my own and looking at other couples was the x and I were never best friends. The people I know who seem to have that perfect relationship, the one thing they always say is that they are best friends. I think that is were I want to start...


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