# How to cope with loosing an abusive husband



## Scared (Feb 11, 2009)

I have posted a few things on here the last year of my marraige, but to sum it up very vaugely, my husband is extreamely emotionally abusive and sometimes physically abusive as well. He has also been unfaithful as well. I have filled for divorce and my 10 month old son and I have a 3 year restrIning order against him. He does have monitored visitation in the DCFS office though. He has also lost custody of his daughter because of the abuse. So it seems pretty clear that I should not be with him, and yet i am starting to cry when I think about him. I don't know if I just wanted it to work so bad I just made bad decisions. I just don't know how to feel. I am in therapy but if I tell the therapist that I miss him I am risking loosing my baby because they have to report me if they think I might put my child in danger. I am not saying I want to be with him, I would never risk loosing my child and I am tired of being treated like he treats me, but I still miss him. I mean there were good things too. I remember one awesome thanksgiving we just desided to stay home and make all of this yummy food and all of these drinks from scratch and we made so many drinks we couldn't even eat the food but it was just fun. But I guess these moments have been gone for a couple of years. He was just so ready to ruin everything we had and he did. And now I am trying to hold everything together for our baby: moving, working, taking a rediculous number of classes, and raising a baby by myself. I just hate him for doing this to us when all I wanted was for us to be a family. And I don't want to miss him, so someone please tell me how to stop.
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## AhThaMarriedLife (Jan 30, 2011)

im am in the same boat as you but i cant stop i cant get out im trying and i have before but always came back and every time you go back its going to be harder to leave but your in a better situation now you dont want to go back to what you work so hard to get out off maybe you miss him but try to stay strong and remember that you deserve better if u want to talk pm me were both kinda going threw the same thing


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