# Filing Friday..then the new future



## DADX2 (Oct 29, 2013)

Here is my new thread. I will maintain this one as long as needed. To refresh everyone here is my quick story.

The only thing I did wrong was smother her and was insecure. Girls nights etc was usually always a fight, I was cheated on my first marriage so I drug into my second and held on everytime I thought she was slipping. She asked for me to make changes several times it would last only temp. She blames herself for not taking a firmer stance with me. Right before we split she uttered the words mid life crisis she lost a ton of weight in 09 kept it off, went back to school this year. I think a light went off in her head between the inconsistent changes and her mid life crisis. We met in her our early 20s and when she hit 30 I noticed some small crisis going on. Every bday since 30 was im not 30 im not 31 im not 32. She did put her all in after 9 years she was done. Of course I was not. I am going to counseling and seeing that through for me and my boys.


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## DADX2 (Oct 29, 2013)

So today I went to the mall to buy something. And I run into her best friends mom (her second mom in life). Very nice person heart of gold. As soon as she saw me her eyes swelled up, so did mine. She happened to be grabbing lunch and asked me to join. We talked, she had previously talked to my sbxw so she knows everything but of course we told the cleanest version. She understands why she is leaving but is heart broken like the rest of us. She asked how I felt about it all, I was honest I said you know I have a lot of regret of course but im not letting it ruin my healing process. She told me my sbx is happy which I know ive seen her in person, the weight she carried of my baggage to try to make me a better person held her down and she is free of that which I agree with. My sbx also told her course there is no going back, which to that we both said It is still to raw at this time it has been only a month since we split. The thing with my sbx is she is a Taurus so when she makes a decision its the final, very few times have I seen her waiver. 

I was talking to my friend who is about the only one holding out hope. He said give it 6 months he said there are so many D bags out there she will run across a few. He said the history with the kids the fact that she wants to continue to see them it may add up to where she comes back after time. Right now im putting my chips on no, she has stated everytime she does not see it in the future. That is to protect her and me from falling off course. What do I want now, to fix my demons and myself, where that takes me I don't know. Whats my dream well we all know that but that's why its a dream and not what I want! What I want is my reality and sticking to, my dream is just that. Well my dream become a reality .....only one person knows that.


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