# My husband's bff is a woman



## I<3BK (May 19, 2009)

Hello,
My husband has known this girl since they were toddlers (their families are very close). She lives with her boyfriend and has for the past 4 years. 
When he and I started dating I told him that it didn't bother me but I have to know: "have you and her ever dated?" He said "no."

Here's where I start to get frustrated and confused: We're working on a special memories photo album. While searching through his laptop for photos to print I stumbled upon a picture of them partying together about 4 years ago. The shot that I can't get out of my head was of them with their lips locked! He said it was just playful, a pop kiss, they were just having fun. 

I'm young but not naive.

Can men and women really be friends?

Does anyone have a partner who's best friend is a sexual threat? How do you cope?


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

I<3BK said:


> Can men and women really be friends?


Yes. I've had a male friend for 29 years. And I'm sad to say that friendship outlasted my marriage. The friendship began from a mutal hobby and it grew--NEVER anything sexual or romantic. We even travel to events together and nothing inappropriate happens. While my husband and I were together, I always invited him to these events (he always declined the invitations because he was busy with his mistresses). In addition, I never hid any communication from my ex. I'm friends with his current wife as well. 

I'm not sure about your husband's best friend relationship though. I would never even think about kissing my male friend (as you described). You may have to go with your gut feeling and have further discussions with your husband.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

Can men and women really be friends?

If there is no sexual chemistry or attraction..... yes.
Although if there is some sexual chemistry or attraction, NO.

If I have no sexual attraction to a guy, I can be friends...
as long as it goes both ways and he's not hitting on me.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

preso said:


> Can men and women really be friends?
> 
> If there is no sexual chemistry or attraction..... yes.
> Although if there is some sexual chemistry or attraction, NO.


:iagree:

I had a really good guy friend while i was with my H, but we were both really sexually attracted to each other. once i started having problems with my H it was way too easy to cross the line. so i had to end the friendship.


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