# Hey ladies - buy her drinks or no?



## The-Deceived (Jan 8, 2013)

I have a first date tonight through an online dating site. This woman is Russian and a kindergarten teacher.

The line seems so divided on this. We're just going for drinks - no food. Do you like it or expect the man to pick up the tab, or go Dutch?


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Pull out your card or cash to pay. If she offers to pay half or the whole bill, decide at that moment which way you want to go. If you - after the date - decide you don't want a second date, let her pay half.


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

I'd expect to go Dutch since we're JUST MEETING via a dating site. 

I would NOT consider this to be a First Date.


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## The-Deceived (Jan 8, 2013)

Faithful Wife said:


> Pull out your card or cash to pay. If she offers to pay half or the whole bill, decide at that moment which way you want to go. If you - after the date - decide you don't want a second date, let her pay half.


Thanks - that makes sense!


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## The-Deceived (Jan 8, 2013)

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> I'd expect to go Dutch since we're JUST MEETING via a dating site.
> 
> I would NOT consider this to be a First Date.


See, so confusing!! I'm picking her up - which is a first...


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

I always pick up the check first few dates simply out of social convention.

If she insists on paying let her.


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## The-Deceived (Jan 8, 2013)

tacoma said:


> I always pick up the check first few dates simply out of social convention.
> 
> If she insists on paying let her.


I've experienced all kinds. They usually offer to pay their own way but don't insist. One woman was like "I can pay for my own drinks, thanks". One I'm dating let me get the first 2 times then she paid for take out.

I guess the best is to assume you'll pay and watch for their reaction, gauge accordingly.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

The-Deceived said:


> I guess the best is to assume you'll pay and watch for their reaction, gauge accordingly.


Sounds about right.

Have a good time!


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

It's so hard to know what to do, eh? No matter what you could end up pissing her off.

Do whatever you think you should do, and if it pisses her off then you don't go on a second date. No loss.

If I was on the dating scene again I'd drop all the pretense, just be me, and to hell with any guy who didn't like it.


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## Leasel (Mar 30, 2013)

Plan on paying for everything, if she offers to split the bill, then let her without putting up a fight.


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

> See, so confusing!! I'm picking her up - which is a first...


Wow! THIS is SO incredibly dangerous!

No slam on you as I'm sure you're a nice man, but how can *she* be so heedless of her own personal safety as to tell a TOTAL STRANGER where she lives...AND trust her personal safety to a man she's never even seen (she has no way to escape as she did NOT drive)!


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

You are picking her up. It's a date. 

You pay, insist on it.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> No slam on you as I'm sure you're a nice man, but how can *she* be so heedless of her own personal safety as to tell a TOTAL STRANGER where she lives...AND trust her personal safety to a man she's never even seen (she has no way to escape as she did NOT drive)!


:iagree:


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## Interlocutor (Dec 29, 2011)

I am an ardent feminist!

Therefore, do not insult her with the presupposition that she requires a man to court her like a commodity! She can take care of herself, and if she met with her friends for drinks, they'd all be paying for their own or for each other circumstantially without obligation! Pffft!


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## BrockLanders (Jul 23, 2012)

Tell her she can pay next time.


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## gardengirl (Apr 18, 2013)

Interlocutor said:


> I am an ardent feminist!
> 
> Therefore, do not insult her with the presupposition that she requires a man to court her like a commodity! She can take care of herself, and if she met with her friends for drinks, they'd all be paying for their own or for each other circumstantially without obligation! Pffft!



What ridiculous drivel! A commodity? Really? What ever happened to old fashioned courtesy? Why does who pays have to become a gender war?


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## gardengirl (Apr 18, 2013)

If she lets you pay, chances are, she likes you. If she insists on paying, chances are, she doesn't want a second date, at least that has always been my comfort zone with a guy, and my friends as well.

I'm totally interested in the fact that she is either crazy enough, or naive enough to let a total stranger pick her up. Tread carefully with this one!


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## Interlocutor (Dec 29, 2011)

gardengirl said:


> What ridiculous drivel! A commodity? Really? What ever happened to old fashioned courtesy? Why does who pays have to become a gender war?


I forgot the smiley... Just being facetious... Totally messing around...



Seriously, now, courtesy works both ways, and I can see we both agree.


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## gardengirl (Apr 18, 2013)

Interlocutor said:


> I forgot the smiley... Just being facetious... Totally messing around...
> 
> 
> 
> Seriously, now, courtesy works both ways, and I can see we both agree.


 whew! 

I was worried! I thought I had maybe stumbled into some man hating, alternate reality. 

They are such simple creatures, really, no need for us to be cruel to them


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## Interlocutor (Dec 29, 2011)

gardengirl said:


> whew!
> 
> I was worried! I thought I had maybe stumbled into some man hating, alternate reality.
> 
> They are such simple creatures, really, no need for us to be cruel to them


Cruel, so cruel!

Although my creator saw it fit to deny me any complexity or depth, my simplicity is not the result of my gender as a male. There are other males out there and on here that are degrees beyond "simple creatures"!


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Damn Interlocutor...you got me, too!! LMAO.

OP...as has been suggested, get your wallet out and see what happens. Hell, who knows, it might even come up in conversation.

Now for the evil side of Dig.......you found a Russian chick who's a teacher on a date site?!! THAT is classic!!!!


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## gardengirl (Apr 18, 2013)

Interlocutor said:


> Cruel, so cruel!
> 
> Although my creator saw it fit to deny me any complexity or depth, my simplicity is not the result of my gender as a male. There are other males out there and on here that are degrees beyond "simple creatures"!


Aww, sweetie, I should have asked or something, I thought you were female! 


I was just having fun with the "simple" comment, forgive me? (bats eyelashes furiously)


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

First of all,it's obvious she doesn't have a good head on her shoulders since as SGW already pointed out,she's giving a stranger her address.She's also putting herself in a vulnerable position by stepping into the vehicle of a man she has never met thus allowing him the control on where she ends up,when she's able to leave,etc.

Sorry but these things are "rape/murder avoidance 101" 

you drive your own damn car and meet in a neutral,public,well lit place.buy your own drinks so you don't 'owe' anything at the end of the night..sorry fellas,some men STILL think that if they pay,the woman better pay in other ways.

Do you really want to go on a date with a woman who doesn't seem smart enough to value her own safety? Forget about whether or not you should buy drinks for her...should you even give her the time of day?


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## gardengirl (Apr 18, 2013)

ScarletBegonias said:


> First of all,it's obvious she doesn't have a good head on her shoulders since as SGW already pointed out,she's giving a stranger her address.She's also putting herself in a vulnerable position by stepping into the vehicle of a man she has never met thus allowing him the control on where she ends up,when she's able to leave,etc.
> 
> Sorry but these things are "rape/murder avoidance 101"
> 
> ...


Id give this an "amen, sister", but unfortunately, is just spent some time in the clubhouse forum, and apparently, men actually do want, witless, helpless bimbos who have round heels and live on inclines...

aparently, if you actually have a brain, kinda like talking instead of putting a smile on your face and saying "yes sir, no sir", and want to contribute to life, and a realationship, you dont qualify for a "real" man.

makes "use 'em, and discard 'em" seem like a better and better choice all the time...


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

gardengirl said:


> Id give this an "amen, sister", but unfortunately, is just spent some time in the clubhouse forum, and apparently, men actually do want, witless, helpless bimbos who have round heels and live on inclines...
> 
> aparently, if you actually have a brain, kinda like talking instead of putting a smile on your face and saying "yes sir, no sir", and want to contribute to life, and a realationship, you dont qualify for a "real" man.
> 
> makes "use 'em, and discard 'em" seem like a better and better choice all the time...


The ones worth having want more from their ladies...at least that's what I'd like to believe  lol keeps me from becoming bitter about men


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## gardengirl (Apr 18, 2013)

ScarletBegonias said:


> The ones worth having want more from their ladies...at least that's what I'd like to believe  lol keeps me from becoming bitter about men


Ill remember that 

and avoid a certain "tools" posts in the other forum...


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