# Ass slapping - playfully



## BBCJON (Nov 14, 2012)

Hi looking for opinions here, since my wife and I had a big talk regarding the state of our marriage (drifting apart, lack of sex, closeness etc) we have both been trying harder and she has started slapping my ass quite frequently, just in a playful way, just wondering if anyone else has experienced anything similar


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Yes, obviously.

Don't you?

If not what do you do?

I could tell you some of the things my wife and I do but pointless going over the same things.


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

Playful touching is good. Slap her back.


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## BBCJON (Nov 14, 2012)

WyshIknew said:


> Yes, obviously.
> 
> Don't you?
> 
> ...


ye i have always been an ass man and have always given her a little squeeze or slap.

She has never done this in the past and she is suddenly doing it all the time? just wondering if there could be any reason for the change :scratchhead:


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

I do that to my hubs as well. It let's him know that I love him!


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## MrHappyHat (Oct 24, 2012)

A> If she's slapping it, keep that ass in shape! 
B> If you like the fact that she's doing it, let her know that you appreciate it. If she's normally reserved, it probably took a bit of doing to leave her comfort zone to do this.


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## BBCJON (Nov 14, 2012)

Do you think its her showing she loves me / attracted to me / or is it just a bit of fun.

Ye she is normally very reserved so im very happy she has started doing it, defintely makes me feel as if she is interested in me again........just need to get that interest transferred to the bedroom :smthumbup:


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I prefer a good,solid ass grab over a slapping but that's just my thing 

if she's playing with you,play back! Flirtation keeps the sexy stuff alive!


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## BBCJON (Nov 14, 2012)

ScarletBegonias said:


> I prefer a good,solid ass grab over a slapping but that's just my thing
> 
> if she's playing with you,play back! Flirtation keeps the sexy stuff alive!


Ye but she quite often does it when the kids are still up or we in a situation where we cant take it any further


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

I definitely agree with Scarlet - I really love a grab more than a slap but either are a good sign. 

Turn around next time and grab her in close for a passionate kiss to get things started!


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Well you said that you were both trying harder.

She's trying!

Reciprocate, it doesn't have to be butt all the time. 

Just a little glide of your hand on her hips/waist/upper thigh as you pass, a little compliment, a hug. If you are away from each other some nice/naughty texts. Just little love builders.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

BBCJON said:


> Ye but she quite often does it when the kids are still up or we in a situation where we cant take it any further


that's the BEST time!  builds the sexual tension when you can't do anything about it


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

next to the ass grab I think having my partner come up behind me and kiss me on the back of the neck is OMG...sizzling hot! Just a simple kiss that can be done in front of anyone. but the result is long lasting


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Plus you can do the little love builders while the kids are awake then ramp it up later when they go to bed.


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## BBCJON (Nov 14, 2012)

ye maybe im being paranoid here but like i say she only seems to do it at times when she knows we cant move it on to anything else (she has a very low sd and seems to find excuse after excuse to get out of sex)

could she just be using this as a way of keeping me happy i.e me walking away thinking she must fancy me etc 

think the lack of sex may be affecting my brain


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## BBCJON (Nov 14, 2012)

ScarletBegonias said:


> next to the ass grab I think having my partner come up behind me and kiss me on the back of the neck is OMG...sizzling hot! Just a simple kiss that can be done in front of anyone. but the result is long lasting


lol i have tried this but she apparently hates her neck being touched, gives her cold shivers and not in a good way


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

BBCJON said:


> lol i have tried this but she apparently hates her neck being touched, gives her cold shivers and not in a good way


aww that's too bad well you can always try the sexy arm rub or just brush your body against hers "accidentally" when walking by


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

BBCJON said:


> could she just be using this as a way of keeping me happy i.e me walking away thinking she must fancy me etc


That is possible. We have established that she doesn't want sex with you. So it's natural that she will be affectionate at times that won't lead to sex. The question is, is she being affectionate because she feels affectionate toward you? Or, is she being affectionate because she knows that you need affection and she is trying to fulfill your needs without having sex?

Honestly, I don't know. You could try asking her. Although, she will likely lie to you and claim that she's all hot for you, it's just all these damned excuses that prevent you from having sex more than once a month.

I recommend you just go with it. Keep a journal while you're running the MAP. See how affectionate she is with you right now compared with how affectionate/sexual she is with you in six months. That will probably answer your question better than we can, or she will.


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## BBCJON (Nov 14, 2012)

PHTlump said:


> That is possible. We have *established that she doesn't want sex with you*. So it's natural that she will be affectionate at times that won't lead to sex. The question is, is she being affectionate because she feels affectionate toward you? Or, is she being affectionate because she knows that you need affection and she is trying to fulfill your needs without having sex?
> 
> Honestly, I don't know. You could try asking her. Although, she will likely lie to you and claim that she's all hot for you, it's just all these damned excuses that prevent you from having sex more than once a month.
> 
> I recommend you just go with it. Keep a journal while you're running the MAP. See how affectionate she is with you right now compared with how affectionate/sexual she is with you in six months. That will probably answer your question better than we can, or she will.


bold - harsh but true lol 

Ye i can only see this in a positive light at the moment, we seem close right now all that needs to be resolved is the lack of sex but i still feel that the MAP may be my best way forward with this


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

I think its her way of flirting.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## IsGirl3 (Nov 13, 2012)

I think she wants her ass slapped and dropping a big hint. This could be the key to your non existent sex life and it will turn it around. Smack her back and whisper something sexy in her ear like you'd like to feel her bare skin on your hand (pant pant....)


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## JoeHenderson (Oct 3, 2011)

MrHappyHat said:


> A> If she's slapping it, keep that ass in shape!
> B> If you like the fact that she's doing it, let her know that you appreciate it. If she's normally reserved, it probably took a bit of doing to leave her comfort zone to do this.


Agreed. Playful touching is a nice way to stay connected throughout the day. It seems like a nice gesture on her part to reconnect with you. 

But you definitely want to stay in shape...maybe some lunges?


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Ok, try this. Next time she slaps your ass, turn around and take hold of both her wrists. Then pin them against the nearest wall over her head. Lean in and kiss her (not a 1/2 second peck). Then let her go and walk away.

You can thank me later.


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Ok, try this. Next time she slaps your ass, turn around and take hold of both her wrists. Then pin them against the nearest wall over her head. Lean in and kiss her (not a 1/2 second peck). Then let her go and walk away.
> 
> You can thank me later.


:iagree:

That's what I was talking about!


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

ScarletBegonias said:


> next to the ass grab I think having my partner *come up behind me and kiss me on the back of the neck is OMG...sizzling hot!* Just a simple kiss that can be done in front of anyone. but the result is long lasting


:iagree: 200%


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## JoeHenderson (Oct 3, 2011)

Yes, try to take it up a notch like the others are saying. Walking away like WorkingOnMe says that you're down to play this game and that it is her move. I'm curious to see where she would take it.


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

IslandGirl3 said:


> I think she wants her ass slapped and dropping a big hint. This could be the key to your non existent sex life and it will turn it around. Smack her back and whisper something sexy in her ear like you'd like to feel her bare skin on your hand (pant pant....)


I wouldn't get his hopes up too much. He stated that he's always been handsy with her by groping and smacking her. What's new is that she's doing it back to him. Although she still doesn't want sex.

It could be the first of several baby steps that lead to her wanting sex on a regular basis. Or, it could be a gambit where she is trying to give BBC just enough of what he wants to keep him around.

I think those that are suggesting initiating more are probably on the right track. I know that it crushes a man's spirit to be constantly rejected by his wife. But, part of running the MAP is to take charge of initiating sex and just power through the disappointment when you're rejected in the hopes that it will (soon) lead to less and less rejection.


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## IsGirl3 (Nov 13, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Ok, try this. Next time she slaps your ass, turn around and take hold of both her wrists. Then pin them against the nearest wall over her head. Lean in and kiss her (not a 1/2 second peck). Then let her go and walk away.
> 
> You can thank me later.


Ha! :iagree: Let us know how it goes!


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Jon, 
I would truly be stunned if you don't get a very hot reaction to you being aggressive about sex. 

This is almost certainly a request for you to take her. 

So don't talk ahead of time. Just push her against the bedroom wall and pin her there. Kiss her - don't jam your tongue down her throat. Kiss her and let her kiss you back. 

And then tell her to take her top off. Don't ask - command. And if she resists a bit wrestle her onto the bed and spank her. And then repeat the command. 

She wants you to take charge. She is asking you to.


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## Pinkme (Oct 15, 2012)

I love having my ass spanked. Its a new thing for me, nothing I have ever wanted to have happen to me in the 15 years of marriage. BUT, I have changed I want new exciting things in my sex life. 

I am thinking she is trying to "hint" at you what she would like. It took 15 years for H and I to really sit down and talk about our sex life and what we wanted.


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## IsGirl3 (Nov 13, 2012)

:iagree:
it sounds good, anyway, to me. worth a try. who know but it's worth a try.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Jon,
Have you ever just "taken" your wife? Did she like it? 

A couple quick pointers. You may already know this, but if not it may change the outcome.

Before you do anything else, you need to understand the feedback loop. That loop is more important than ANYTHING ELSE because this is largely a matter of trial and error. It is ok to make mistakes as long as you contour your behavior accordingly. 

The whole premise for the feedback loop is simple. You are doing this WITH her not TO HER. 

The feedback loop for this stuff MUST be mostly non verbal, or at least non-word based. You need to communicate, and most of it needs to be via tone and body language. And you will KILL the mood if you keep asking in words "is that ok, is this ok?" because it means you don't know her body, and can't read her reactions. 

Step 1: 
Turn your eyes on. Amp your visual processing all the way up. Read her face, and focus on her pupils. Pupil dilation means arousal. It is an involuntary response. 

Read her face. It will tell you a lot during the encounter. 

Step 2: 
Turn your ears on. Listen to her breathing, it also can signal arousal. You know the other sounds to listen for. 

Step 3:
Pay close attention to tactile cues. She might want/need you to touch sensitive spots gently. Always start gentle. Watch, listen while you touch. Nipple hardness is like pupil dilation - cannot be faked. 

Step 4: 
Control YOU. Just as seeing and hearing her emotions are a turn on. If she scratches you and gets no facial response, no audio response, THAT is a turn on for HER. It means she has cranked you into that place where you would take a bullet for her and keep going. 

Afterwards
Don't initiate any mushy love talk. This was playful, wild and a little crazy. Don't crowd her afterwards. Let her decide how emotionally intimate she wants to be after. Remember, this isn't about you. I don't care if you came like a freight train, show a little restraint because that is what creates desire. Resist the urge to be chatty. Let her talk. If you know it was great for her, don't ASK HER if it was good/great. And don't comment on it. And don't ask "can we do this again tomorrow?" If she asks "do you want to do this again?". Smile, nod and say "yes". Don't be specific. Don't say "tomorrow". 

If she has scratched or bitten you, and asks if it hurts. Say no. In fact, the best response is to not acknowledge that stuff - my response to those questions is "does what hurt?" 

From what I have directly experienced combined with what I have read, the sweet spot for a typical woman is:

1. High level of dominance 
- Very little talking by you, one word commands "strip", or "do it", with some edge
- The longest phrase you should ever use is: "Now, or I will punish you". Don't say "spank", punish is more - umm - open ended. It gives you more options. 

- Restraint by pinning her wrists over her head or behind her back
- Restraint by grabbing her hair 

2. Roughness
- Mildly rough touch - spanking 
- Moving her around into the positions you want, don't ask permission just do it

Escalate slowly while observing. Better to be a little bit "lite" than to overdo it. 

Make sure she comes HARD. If she likes this stuff she will. 

Good luck. She is cuing you to be aggressive with her. 

One last thing: You need to be able to differentiate between between resistance, and a sincere request that you cease and desist. 

If my W EVER said: "I need you to stop I really mean it", I would immediately stop. 

That said, I blow through resistance all the time. She WANTS me to. This is the difference between "taking" which is about the hottest thing in the world, and marital rape, which is one of the worst violations of trust you can ever make. 




BBCJON said:


> bold - harsh but true lol
> 
> Ye i can only see this in a positive light at the moment, we seem close right now all that needs to be resolved is the lack of sex but i still feel that the MAP may be my best way forward with this


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## BBCJON (Nov 14, 2012)

Thanks for all the reply's 

I have always been hands on, so definitely have no problem in reciprocating 

I think i will test the waters and just see if she is willing to take it any further, i know on the last couple of occasions we have had sex she has tried to take control a few times, pushing me down and getting on top etc which i have been happy with 

i dont know whether slapping my ass is related (control) at all


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

BBCJON said:


> Thanks for all the reply's
> 
> I have always been hands on, so definitely have no problem in reciprocating
> 
> ...


Loi she might want to lead you into an FLR.


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

I love giving and receiving that little ass slap. It usually occurs during a good and goofy mood.


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## ARF (Jan 26, 2011)

I wouldn't think too much about what an ass slapping means. Its a playful way to flirt. Flirting is a good thing that many times signifies other good things could result. When my wife grabs my ass, I know she is being playful and frisky. Both great things.


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## RAYMOND (Feb 5, 2010)

It's something I often ask my wife to do. I find it very hot and she is comfortable with it. I often tell her how amazing it is while she is doing it.

I don't believe in FLR, punishment and all that rubbish though. I think that is perversion


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Touch is a powerful bonding factor. My wife is currently in a pretty non sexual mode, but we did have sex a couple of days ago.

Afterward, we were lying in bed, I was idly touching and stroking her feet and ankles.

I realized that over the last hour I had touched literally every square inch of her body......She was totally relaxed and in a very mellow mood.....She loves being touched, and I love doing so...

Touching, and being touched in any loving manner can only help a relationship...


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## Normalguy062302 (Dec 30, 2015)

I think she's trying to tell you that she wants you to pay more attention to her ass. Get back there and go to work. Bite that thing, suck on it, spank it. She may want anal.....give it a shot! You'll love it!


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## thread the needle (May 4, 2015)

another zombie thread from three years ago


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