# For the ladies. Is “cute” a lesser compliment than “pretty”?



## BRL (1 mo ago)

I’ve been raked over the coals for this twice over the past few days. Apparently, I too often complimented my spouse by telling her she was cute while we dated (YEARS ago) and she still harbors some odd resentment over it. “Why does everybody just say I’m cute!? I never hear I’m pretty, beautiful (etc)...”

I've called her those things a million times over, I might add.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

A better question to ask might be why you allowed your wife to "rake your over the coals" twice now for calling her cute years ago, especially after calling her beautiful a million times since.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Cute is good. I'd date cute.

I married cute and we've got some pretty dang good longevity.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I think for some, there is a little condescension with "cute." Just think there are a lot of other things they'd rather be called. Honestly, when complimenting, it's better to just say she looks great when she's dressed up and stuff like that, I think. I'm not even sure it's that they want to be called beautiful. Maybe they just don't like being reduced to "cute" and wish you expressed liking other things about them. Do you ever tell her she made a smart decision or anything to compliment her competence? Just an idea. Still, she married you, so you must have done something right! Ask her, What would you rather?


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

BRL said:


> I’ve been raked over the coals for this twice over the past few days. Apparently, I too often complimented my spouse by telling her she was cute while we dated (YEARS ago) and she still harbors some odd resentment over it. “Why does everybody just say I’m cute!? I never hear I’m pretty, beautiful (etc)...”
> 
> I've called her those things a million times over, I might add.


Yes. No one says they lust after a cute girl. It’s the lowest compliment you can give. I’m cute. I know that, nice face, good boobs. Not smoking. Not a 9. I’m ok with it. But no woman wants their husband to say “ you’re cute” when hot women are all around and they know it.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Men tend to think their wives are pretty or beautiful (which obviously is a good thing) but that doesn’t mean everyone else thinks they’re more than average. So if she’s heard that her entire life then maybe that’s what she is. You’ve got bigger problems with her than that so ignore it.


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

Babies and puppies are cute. Why would a grown ass woman want her spouse use cute as the highest compliment they give them?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

snowbum said:


> Babies and puppies are cute. Why would a grown ass woman want her spouse use cute as the highest compliment they give them?


Well.... Cute girls got turned inside out by this barbarian and I've been with one for over 31 years.

Mary Ann on Gilligan's Island was cute too.😉

Cute probably means different things to different folks I guess.🤦


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

For me, cute means "want cuddles, want squishies" and beautiful is "wow, now that is a work of art" sexy is "ooooo, so turned on right now"

I've been called all these things and I've called my partners all these things too so 🤷‍♂️


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

BRL said:


> I’ve been raked over the coals for this twice over the past few days. Apparently, I too often complimented my spouse by telling her she was cute while we dated (YEARS ago) and she still harbors some odd resentment over it


When I was in my 20s, lots of people referred to me as "cute." No. There is not one damn thing "cute" about me. Those of you who read my posts know I don't even bear a distant similarity to anything "cute." Yuck. That being said ...... your wife's "odd resentment" sounds like a grudge to me. Why do you think she's so ticked off about something you said years ago? From where I'm sitting, it sounds like there's a lot more to this story.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

Come to think of it, my husband has never called me cute! I think I should rake him over the coals for THAT! I'm joking! LOL.

His main words in that regard for me are: beautiful, stunning, sexy and hot AF...and one x-rated one that I can't share! lol

I'm not saying the world views me like that (oh God, no), but my husband does. When we first met, he viewed me as really exotic looking and I guess exotic doesn't equal cute.

It doesn't matter what compliment my hubby gives me, he doesn't have to give me any at all, and I love whatever compliment he does give me, all of it makes me melt!

I didn't answer the question -- I don't know if cute is a lesser compliment than pretty, but I think cute is a nice compliment.


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## UAArchangel (2 mo ago)

She's probably interpreting your use of the word, 'cute', in the same way that some women will use the word cute, as a backhanded compliment. 

Tell her it is a word that men use for women they want to know and can feel confident about approaching.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

so_sweet said:


> Come to think of it, my husband has never called me cute! I think I should rake him over the coals for THAT! I'm joking! LOL.
> 
> His main words in that regard for me are: beautiful, stunning, sexy and hot AF...and one x-rated one that I can't share! lol
> 
> ...


Cute for me means sensual attraction.
Beautiful for me means aesthetic attraction.
Sexy for me means sexual attraction.

Each of those three are different for me.

I wouldn't be content with just one 

Now there's still pseudo science with this but it makes sense to me so:


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

BRL said:


> I’ve been raked over the coals for this twice over the past few days. Apparently, I too often complimented my spouse by telling her she was cute while we dated (YEARS ago) and she still harbors some odd resentment over it. “Why does everybody just say I’m cute!? I never hear I’m pretty, beautiful (etc)...”
> 
> I've called her those things a million times over, I might add.


"I have neither the interest nor the inclination to compete with your internal dialogue."

This is my go-to statement when my wife is assigning me as the source for her own insecurities. 

You have far larger problems than trying to figure out definitions and meanings right now...your wife is gaslighting you, and you are allowing it.

But, in answer to your question, cute>beautiful to me. It always has been, and always will be.



Sent from my Pixel 6 using Tapatalk


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

snowbum said:


> Yes. No one says they lust after a cute girl. It’s the lowest compliment you can give. I’m cute. I know that, nice face, good boobs. Not smoking. Not a 9. I’m ok with it. But no woman wants their husband to say “ you’re cute” when hot women are all around and they know it.




Perhaps I'm alone in this, but to me:

Cute is the girl next door.

Cute is young in attitude and enthusiasm.

Cute is demure.

Cute is light on makeup.

Cute is the ponytail through the back of the ball cap.

Beautiful is makeup, expensive clothing, expensive jewelry, and high maintenance.

Beautiful is who I want to bang on a Friday, and hope they're gone on a Saturday.

Cute is who I want to bang on a Friday, and wake up to on a Saturday, with coffee and breakfast in bed, followed by a morning quickie, and a follow up date. 

Sent from my Pixel 6 using Tapatalk


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## UAArchangel (2 mo ago)

farsidejunky said:


> Perhaps I'm alone in this, but to me:
> 
> Cute is the girl next door.
> 
> ...


Exactly. Cute is relateable and somebody a man wants to be with because he will have an enjoyable time with her.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Cute means cuddles!!!! 🤗


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

farsidejunky said:


> Perhaps I'm alone in this, but to me:
> 
> Cute is the girl next door.
> 
> ...


That’s me to a T. Makeup for occasions. Look young. Good features. But not hot. I’d look ridiculous in sexy clothes. More classic. Some can pull it off. Was size 4 and c boobs. Was a 12 with c boobs. Just don’t feel comfortable with everything hanging out. And if you show more clothing than skin, not seen as hot.


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## BRL (1 mo ago)

snowbum said:


> Babies and puppies are cute. Why would a grown ass woman want her spouse use cute as the highest compliment they give them?


 As stated in the OP, we weren't married, we had just started dating (Age 22, her, age 20). She eventually outright pouted, complaining that's all guys ever said about her.


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## UAArchangel (2 mo ago)

BRL said:


> As stated in the OP, we weren't married, we had just started dating (Age 22, her, age 20). She eventually outright pouted, complaining that's all guys ever said about her.


She's understanding the word the way women will use the word. It's not a compliment when they use it towards men, so she's interpreting it as not a compliment to her from you.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

My bf called me a cutie pie once and I thought it was adorable. I've also called him adorable and he seemed good with that.

He has called me hot but I thought when guys called you hot it meant your body is hot, whereas cute and beautiful meant your face.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

UAArchangel said:


> She's understanding the word the way women will use the word. It's not a compliment when they use it towards men, so she's interpreting it as not a compliment to her from you.


Yes it is. My bf is cute abs really sexy.


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## UAArchangel (2 mo ago)

lifeistooshort said:


> Yes it is. My bf is cute abs really sexy.


I suppose there are different meanings to the word cute, when women use that word.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

UAArchangel said:


> I suppose there are different meanings to the word cute, when women use that word.


All I know is that it's a greenlight so I ain't gonna be freakin complaining 😅


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## Zedd (Jul 27, 2021)

farsidejunky said:


> Perhaps I'm alone in this, but to me:
> 
> Cute is the girl next door.
> 
> ...


This is mostly it for me as well. They're all a derivative of what that person "normally" is, just in that moment in time. Presumably, you find your spouse attractive, so in addition to that general attractiveness, at certain points in time, you have different qualities.

When my wife picked me up from the airport the last time, rather than wait in the car, my flight was delayed, it was snowy out, so she parked came in and got her self a coffee. When I finally strolled through, she was wearing jeans, double-breasted cashmire coat, and a knit winter hat with a big ass pompom on it, and her plaid wedge sorels. Her hair was kinda curly hanging down under the cap. She looked cute AF.

Later that night, she did not look cute at all. We went to the theater, so it was an entirely different look - very elegant. Elegant isn't better than cute. It isn't worse than cute. It's just a different look.


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## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

I find the quirks of a partner to be ‘cute’ at times. It makes them endearing, ect, that’s where my brain goes when I hear cute. Beautiful is something else to me, though I consider myself beautiful from the inside out. The times I hear I’m beautiful if when I’m serving others in some capacity so that maybe why I relate beauty that way, versus just physical beauty. 

Like the barbarian said, cute is good. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Maybe she feels ‘grown’ and thinks her looks need an upgrade, such as, girl, to young lady or woman, to woman.. idk?


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Bulfrog1987 said:


> I find the quirks of a partner to be ‘cute’ at times. It makes them endearing, ect, that’s where my brain goes when I hear cute. Beautiful is something else to me, though I consider myself beautiful from the inside out. The times I hear I’m beautiful if when I’m serving others in some capacity so that maybe why I relate beauty that way, versus just physical beauty.
> 
> Like the barbarian said, cute is good. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Maybe she feels ‘grown’ and thinks her looks need an upgrade, such as, girl, to young lady or woman, to woman.. idk?


No...The cute description from OP to her was years and years ago when they were first dating.


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## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

Livvie said:


> No...The cute description from OP to her was years and years ago when they were first dating.


Oh I misread the post then! Sorry!


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## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

snowbum said:


> Yes. No one says they lust after a cute girl. It’s the lowest compliment you can give. I’m cute. I know that, nice face, good boobs. Not smoking. Not a 9. I’m ok with it. But no woman wants their husband to say “ you’re cute” when hot women are all around and they know it.


Well let me be the first. My wife is cute and hot. I use cute to describe a certain look and it just happens to be the look I go for.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

snowbum said:


> That’s me to a T. Makeup for occasions. Look young. Good features. But not hot. I’d look ridiculous in sexy clothes. More classic. Some can pull it off. Was size 4 and c boobs. Was a 12 with c boobs. Just don’t feel comfortable with everything hanging out. And if you show more clothing than skin, not seen as hot.


Yep. And that's what sets you apart from the beautiful women, in all the good ways.

Sent from my Pixel 6 using Tapatalk


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Zedd said:


> This is mostly it for me as well. They're all a derivative of what that person "normally" is, just in that moment in time. Presumably, you find your spouse attractive, so in addition to that general attractiveness, at certain points in time, you have different qualities.
> 
> When my wife picked me up from the airport the last time, rather than wait in the car, my flight was delayed, it was snowy out, so she parked came in and got her self a coffee. When I finally strolled through, she was wearing jeans, double-breasted cashmire coat, and a knit winter hat with a big ass pompom on it, and her plaid wedge sorels. Her hair was kinda curly hanging down under the cap. She looked cute AF.
> 
> Later that night, she did not look cute at all. We went to the theater, so it was an entirely different look - very elegant. Elegant isn't better than cute. It isn't worse than cute. It's just a different look.


I like this. There's a certain air of vulnerability to cute that beautiful and elegant cannot match. Cute has to be the foundation, because it's as much to do with the attitude as the appearance. 

And while I will admit I've been physically drawn to both cute and beautiful women, I was always more emotionally drawn to the cute ones. They were the ones that were long-term prospects, while the beautiful ones were typically fun for a night or five. 

Sent from my Pixel 6 using Tapatalk


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

When your looking to find fault, any word spoken will do.

BRL's wife was digging deep in using this word from the past.

Think about it, why bring this up after all those years? 

This is less about him using the word, cute, then her feeling that life-long resentment for the skin she lives in.

Yes, it is difficult to be a woman in such a shallow world, but some suffer terribly for the same petty reasons.

She is participating in the beauty tripe, that the Worldwide Media propagates.
And, always has.

She is not her own woman, so few are.
A shame it is.




Lilith-


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## CraigBesuden (Jun 20, 2019)

10 = Gorgeous
9 = Beautiful
8= Very pretty
7 = Pretty
6 = Cute
5 = Average

“Cute” can also be applied to someone who is not cute. Some are offended thinking it means ugly.


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## CraigBesuden (Jun 20, 2019)

Reminds me of an episode of Jersey Shore:

Situation: “I think you’re kinda cute.”

Girl: “Kinda?!?”

Situation: “I don’t wanna compliment you too highly, but I’m feeling it.”


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

BRL said:


> I’ve been raked over the coals for this twice over the past few days. Apparently, I too often complimented my spouse by telling her she was cute while we dated (YEARS ago) and she still harbors some odd resentment over it. “Why does everybody just say I’m cute!? I never hear I’m pretty, beautiful (etc)...”
> 
> I've called her those things a million times over, I might add.


Some women are just really hard work.

My friends son got raked over the coals by his girlfriend just last week, because he sent her a good morning message via text instead of FB messenger, which she expects. Seriously.


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## Corgi Mum (10 mo ago)

snowbum said:


> *Babies and puppies are cute.* Why would a grown ass woman want her spouse use cute as the highest compliment they give them?


I've heard a lot of women say that. Cute is somewhat devalued as a compliment. Petite women particularly hate it because they perceive it as a comparison to a child. I'm a great big tall gangly thing and I've never been called cute so it does seem to be overused toward diminutive women.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

frusdil said:


> Some women are just really hard work.
> 
> My friends son got raked over the coals by his girlfriend just last week, because he sent her a good morning message via text instead of FB messenger, which she expects. Seriously.


She sounds like a good candidate for the curb.

Sent from my Pixel 6 using Tapatalk


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

CraigBesuden said:


> Reminds me of an episode of Jersey Shore:
> 
> Situation: “I think you’re kinda cute.”
> 
> ...


LOL, that's funny! I used to watch that show but don't remember that episode!


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

Corgi Mum said:


> I've heard a lot of women say that. Cute is somewhat devalued as a compliment. Petite women particularly hate it because they perceive it as a comparison to a child. I'm a great big tall gangly thing and I've never been called cute so it does seem to be overused toward diminutive women.


You're lucky to be tall! I'm not considered short at 5'6" (well, a hair under) but I often wished I was taller as I think clothes look better on taller women...the fashion runway look!


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Corgi Mum said:


> I've heard a lot of women say that. Cute is somewhat devalued as a compliment. Petite women particularly hate it because they perceive it as a comparison to a child. I'm a great big tall gangly thing and I've never been called cute so it does seem to be overused toward diminutive women.


Haha, so true! I'm 6ft tall and Ive never been called cute either, lol!


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

We were born into the body we were given by our parents at birth.

We did not earn it, or (somehow) are personally deserving of it.
We fell out of the womb wearing it!

Therefore, any praise or shame given, with respect to your body, and its general appearance is primitive thinking.
Proper grooming not withstanding.

Yes, we can enhance our appearance with proper diet and exercise.
And, it is wise to stay out of the Sun with its skin damaging rays.



_King Brian-_


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## Jimmysgirl (9 mo ago)

I get cute from my hubby and as of late I've been getting beautiful from other men. Do I wish I got beautiful from him? Sure. But come to think of it every woman and their grandma has gotten beautiful from him so cute puts me in a league of my own.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

BRL said:


> As stated in the OP, we weren't married, we had just started dating (Age 22, her, age 20). She eventually outright pouted, complaining that's all guys ever said about her.


Yeah. It seems something else is going on with your wife.

Upon seeing each other for the first time as adults (I had been 12 last time Mrs. Conan saw me) she got a big smile on her face and said "WOW! You got cute!" I responded "You stayed cute. Want to go out tonight?". That launched over three decades of love and we are still going strong.

There is something bothering your wife. She may not be feeling very secure.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

UAArchangel said:


> I suppose there are different meanings to the word cute, when women use that word.


Everytime a lady used that term on me, sex was definitely on the menu.

Maybe it changes with how it is spoken and emphasized.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Ban Doo Hong has a way with words but even he said "She's cute!" upon first meeting his future wife.😋


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

ConanHub said:


> Upon seeing each other for the first time as adults (I had been 12 last time Mrs. Conan saw me) she got a big smile on her face and said "WOW! You got cute!" I responded "You stayed cute. Want to go out tonight?". That launched over three decades of love and we are still going strong.


This was really nice to read! What a great story!


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Tell your wife to go and see a therapist.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

...


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## Wolfman1968 (Jun 9, 2011)

snowbum said:


> Yes. No one says they lust after a cute girl. It’s the lowest compliment you can give.


Personally, I think the lowest compliment for a woman would be to call her a "handsome woman."


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## UAArchangel (2 mo ago)

snowbum said:


> Yes. No one says they lust after a cute girl. It’s the lowest compliment you can give. I’m cute. I know that, nice face, good boobs. Not smoking. Not a 9. I’m ok with it. But no woman wants their husband to say “ you’re cute” when hot women are all around and they know it.


I think that depends. To me, cute implies somebody who is pleasant to look at, though not model beautiful. She would be engagjng and funny and youthful. That can be at any age.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

The problem is that it was years (decades?) ago that he called her cute and he says since then he has referred to her as beautiful a million times. 

Your wife sounds kinda like a shrew, OP, sorry to say. 

That's what you should be looking at, not super analyzing your use of the word cute a couple of times years (decades?) ago.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

so_sweet said:


> You're lucky to be tall! I'm not considered short at 5'6" (well, a hair under) but I often wished I was taller as I think clothes look better on taller women...the fashion runway look!


I'm 5'4 and have been told i resemble a strawberry haired Jemnifer Grey before her nose job. We have a similar build too so this probably puts me in the cute bucket.

At 48 I'm ok with that 😊


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

I read something about this somewhere within the past year or so.

When a man calls a woman cute, he sees her as a friend.

When a man calls a woman pretty, he thinks she’s got a pretty face.

When a man calls a woman hot, he thinks she’s sexy as hell.

When a man calls a woman beautiful, he sees her as the complete package. Mind and body.

I thought it was interesting though I’m sure not all men think the same way.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Not said:


> When a man calls a woman cute, he sees her as a friend.
> 
> When a man calls a woman pretty, he thinks she’s got a pretty face.
> 
> ...


When a man calls a woman cute, he sees her as a friend. - Possibly

When a man calls a woman pretty, he thinks she’s got a pretty face. - I would call a lady pretty if I like the whole package...

When a man calls a woman hot, he thinks she’s sexy as hell. - I would never call a woman "hot".

When a man calls a woman beautiful, he sees her as the complete package. Mind and body. - Mind, body and purse...


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## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

BRL said:


> I’ve been raked over the coals for this twice over the past few days. Apparently, I too often complimented my spouse by telling her she was cute while we dated (YEARS ago) and she still harbors some odd resentment over it. “Why does everybody just say I’m cute!? I never hear I’m pretty, beautiful (etc)...”
> 
> I've called her those things a million times over, I might add.


I take cute as a more serious compliment than hot. To me hot means you just want to have sex with me, and don't see me as a real human that you want to get to know more of. While it's nice to be called hot, don't get me wrong, to me cute is that there is more care and feeling. That's just me though. I mean if you're calling other women hot, and not your wife, then I'd probably harbor some resentment over that. But if you're not doing that, then I don't see it as a huge deal.


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## UAArchangel (2 mo ago)

so_sweet said:


> You're lucky to be tall! I'm not considered short at 5'6" (well, a hair under) but I often wished I was taller as I think clothes look better on taller women...the fashion runway look!


5'6" is about the same percentile as being a 5'10" -5'11" male.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

ConanHub said:


> Cute probably means different things to different folks I guess.🤦





farsidejunky said:


> Perhaps I'm alone in this, but to me:
> 
> Cute is the girl next door.
> 
> ...


^^ All of this.
I think "cute" involves attitude as well as a component of innocence and being genuine.
A woman can have a cute attitude but there is no pretty or beautiful attitude.
Beautiful=High Maintenance vs. Cute=Natural/low maintenance
I'll take cute over beautiful all day every day.
They can also all equate to a level of dress and have nothing to do with their physical appearance.

Why does a compliment have to be so difficult? Women ...SMH.

@BRL Sounds like to me her grousing about this years later removes any modicum of cute she MAY have had. Next time just say "You're right, I was wrong you're not cute"...and say nothing else.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

snowbum said:


> I’m cute. I know that, nice face, good boobs. Not smoking. Not a 9. I’m ok with it.


Pics or it didn't happen.


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## UAArchangel (2 mo ago)

In Absentia said:


> When a man calls a woman cute, he sees her as a friend. - Possibly
> 
> When a man calls a woman pretty, he thinks she’s got a pretty face. - I would call a lady pretty if I like the whole package...
> 
> ...


For me, cute also implies her making me laugh because she did something clever or just an intrinsic quality about a women when they are sometimes being naive about something, in a good way.


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## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

CraigBesuden said:


> 10 = Gorgeous
> 9 = Beautiful
> 8= Very pretty
> 7 = Pretty
> ...


The problem with this list is that cute can also be applied to 10,9,8 and 7.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

If I think someone is cute, that's high praise. Beautiful in appearance often seems cold to me. I tend to refer to someone as beautiful if they have a warm, kind, and engaging personality.


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

In my last relationship the only time I was called cute was when I was being funny or goofy and he was enjoying it.

To me, cute implies sweet and nymph like. Cute is more a personality trait, imo.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

so_sweet said:


> You're lucky to be tall! I'm not considered short at 5'6" (well, a hair under) but I often wished I was taller as I think clothes look better on taller women...the fashion runway look!


Standing next to my lady, you're quite tall. LoL!


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

Throughout my adult life, I’ve only been referred to as cute by both men and women. All the descriptions you guys have posted make me feel better about it, so thank you. 🤗 💕


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

UAArchangel said:


> I suppose there are different meanings to the word cute, when women use that word.


We used to use that word a lot. But we didn't tell a guy he was cute. Women would use it talking to each other about guys and say I think he's kind of cute. And that was not any kind of insult but a compliment. But it's a big difference what you're saying to a person rather than talking to your girlfriends who all know the context better. The girls didn't sit around and say that guy's really handsome because that just seems archaic. Another just common term would be saying that guy was good looking. The highest compliment to me would be that the guy was cool or that the guy thought I was cool.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Is she still talking about divorcing you?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Not said:


> I read something about this somewhere within the past year or so.
> 
> When a man calls a woman cute, he sees her as a friend.
> 
> ...


I've called Mrs. Conan all that and more but when I first called her cute, I was picturing her without any clothes.😁


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

I haven’t been called “cute” by my husband but I wouldn’t take that as a low-end compliment, in general. Maybe some men see “cute” as being a great compliment.  

My husband usually gives me compliments in the form of a question - “why are you so pretty?” Or “why do you look so good right now?” And he’ll ask these questions when we’re in the middle of doing something around the house or driving somewhere. Just completely random.

It’s weird, but every time I hear it, it feels like the first time. 🥰


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## Tdbo (Sep 8, 2019)

Benbutton said:


> The problem with this list is that cute can also be applied to 10,9,8 and 7.


I'd rather have cute than gorgeous.
They are less temperamental, not as high maintenance, not narcissistic, and try harder.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

My take: Cute is a look and a vibe. Hot is a vibe and a look. My wife is hot because she looks sexy and has a strong sexual energy (vibe). Pretty is purely a descriptor for looks. A pretty woman with a sexy vibe is hot, a pretty woman with a sweet innocent vibe is cute.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

When we get to parsing cute and some definition of attractive, the bottom of the conversation barrel is in view.
Just my, not so humble, opinion!

Let us get back to infidelity, failed romance and travel stories!


When a new poster tells his/her story of infidelity, or woe, hold off on the 2 x 4's, the clubs, the cannons and machine guns.

Yeah, right!



_Gwendolyn-_ I am just under four foot tall, I have long legs and perky boobs, a freckled face and curly red hair.
Pffft!


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Openminded said:


> Is she still talking about divorcing you?



Oooh good call, Openminded!!!! Posters should see OP's other thread about how his wife wants a divorce and how she treats him.

OP stick a fork in it, it's done.

Why are you even engaging with her about this cute issue, or even giving it a second thought?


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## BRL (1 mo ago)

Openminded said:


> Is she still talking about divorcing you?


 No. Things are still very far from normal though.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Corgi Mum said:


> I've heard a lot of women say that. Cute is somewhat devalued as a compliment. Petite women particularly hate it because they perceive it as a comparison to a child. I'm a great big tall gangly thing and I've never been called cute so it does seem to be overused toward diminutive women.





frusdil said:


> Haha, so true! I'm 6ft tall and Ive never been called cute either, lol!




Curious, do you guys get lots of cuddles and squishies or is it something you noticed the more petite women have?


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## heather42 (2 mo ago)

CraigBesuden said:


> 10 = Gorgeous
> 9 = Beautiful
> 8= Very pretty
> 7 = Pretty
> ...


woohoo! My husband calls me gorgeous. 

(I don't think I am but he does. 😎)


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## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

BRL said:


> I’ve been raked over the coals for this twice over the past few days. Apparently, I too often complimented my spouse by telling her she was cute while we dated (YEARS ago) and she still harbors some odd resentment over it. “Why does everybody just say I’m cute!? I never hear I’m pretty, beautiful (etc)...”
> 
> I've called her those things a million times over, I might add.


I'm willing to bet it was the OM that called her cute but never said she was pretty, and she got confused. Oh the tangled web she's weaved...


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## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

Wolfman1968 said:


> Personally, I think the lowest compliment for a woman would be to call her a "handsome woman."


Lol manhands comes to mind.


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## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

so_sweet said:


> OMG?
> Is there something wrong with what I said?


No, but apparently you're being judged.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

I think people can be attractive in different ways but it doesn't mean one is better than the other. My wife is probably more cute than anything else and I don't see it as a lesser compliment to refer to her as such.


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## Corgi Mum (10 mo ago)

so_sweet said:


> You're lucky to be tall! I'm not considered short at 5'6" (well, a hair under) but I often wished I was taller as I think clothes look better on taller women...the fashion runway look!


Ha! Mass market clothing definitely is not sized for tall women so most things tend to look a little off (and not cute!). I can't wear any dresses with a waist because it will hit me too high at the ribcage. The rise of most pants is going to be too short, as are sleeves. I won't wear 3/4 sleeve tops because they end around my elbow and bunch up all day. I spent my teens and 20s in too-short pants although longer inseams are easier to find now.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

Benbutton said:


> No, but apparently you're being judged.


Yep, I figured that I was being judged.

It's a pity @elliblue couldn't manage to reply intellectually. I mean I don't think she's stupid, maybe she just has a bit of bad luck when thinking.


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## Corgi Mum (10 mo ago)

RandomDude said:


> Curious, do you guys get lots of cuddles and squishies or is it something you noticed the more petite women have?


What's a squishy?

Admittedly, hugging a guy shorter than me is a bit weird and awkward.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Corgi Mum said:


> What's a squishy?
> 
> Admittedly, hugging a guy shorter than me is a bit weird and awkward.


 You've never been squished with hugs?










I mean like, do your partners like to cuddle a lot? I'm just curious about my theory of cute/cuddly/sensual attraction 'tis all

As you two mentioned you never been called "cute"


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

Corgi Mum said:


> Ha! Mass market clothing definitely is not sized for tall women so most things tend to look a little off (and not cute!). I can't wear any dresses with a waist because it will hit me too high at the ribcage. The rise of most pants is going to be too short, as are sleeves. I won't wear 3/4 sleeve tops because they end around my elbow and bunch up all day. I spent my teens and 20s in too-short pants although longer inseams are easier to find now.


Ah, I had never thought of that side of it!

Since I was a kid I've watched fashion shows and have always been in awe of the gorgeous tall women in beautiful clothes and looking so beautiful and statuesque.

As a side note: that is not to say that I think shorter women don't look good! Of course they look good! I'm not considered tall but I don't think I look bad, lol. But I would probably look frumpy in a floor length long dress standing next to a tall woman wearing the same dress.


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

Cute is good. I like cute. I want to bang cute.

I get a daily newsletter aimed at men and it always has a different picture of several women each day as the header. I see the pics of the fashion models and I know they are considered attractive and of course they are but they don’t do much of anything for me. The cute girl next door type or the cute athletic type who you know won’t cry about a chipped nail while playing football get the juices going.

Cute is great. You women need to stop overthinking this.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

Cute is a Christmas elf. 😕


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> Curious, do you guys get lots of cuddles and squishies or is it something you noticed the more petite women have?


I get lots of cuddles from my husband, but in general or in single days, nope. Most men don’t want tall women. Even tall men lol.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

This is cute...


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## heather42 (2 mo ago)

In Absentia said:


> This is cute...
> 
> View attachment 95364


It's also in the delivery of the word. Like if I say "Oh he's Cute!" It's an obvious compliment. As opposed to "...he's...cute."


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

frusdil said:


> I get lots of cuddles from my husband, but in general or I single days, nope. Most men don’t want tall women. Even tall men lol.


My theory fails! Or maybe your husband just doesn't use the word but still thinks you are cute 😊


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Wolfman1968 said:


> Personally, I think the lowest compliment for a woman would be to call her a "handsome woman."


Jean Luc Picard got a drink thrown on him for calling a woman handsome 😀


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

frusdil said:


> I get lots of cuddles from my husband, but in general or I single days, nope. Most men don’t want tall women. Even tall men lol.


True. Just like most women don't want short men. Even short women. This is why there are so many really tall, good looking guys with short, tiny wives.


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## LeGenDary_Man (Sep 25, 2013)

I use the word "cute" to complement my wife. She is cute, and responds in cute ways when I compliment her. 🙃 My cutie pie.

Works for me.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

BRL said:


> I’ve been raked over the coals for this twice over the past few days. Apparently, I too often complimented my spouse by telling her she was cute while we dated (YEARS ago) and she still harbors some odd resentment over it.


Well you could just tell her to get over herself.



frusdil said:


> Most men don’t want tall women. Even tall men lol.


I'm so glad I'm not most men. Since I really enjoy being in sexual relationships with taller women. Like my wife who is almost 5" taller than ,I and my ex-wife who is 3" taller. Plus other tall women (most who I have been with), including the tallest I have been with, who is 12" taller (whose husband and ex-husband are also short like me).

Of which the only woman I have been in a sexual relationship with, that I have ever called cute. Was a woman who was shorter (one of a small few) than I, who also looked liked Renée Zellweger in Empire Records.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Enigma32 said:


> True. Just like most women don't want short men. Even short women. This is why there are so many really tall, good looking guys with short, tiny wives.


Women don't want short men because of the way people look at the couple when the woman is taller, it's a subconscious thing. When a man is shorter than you, you feel like a towering amazon and it's embarrassing for both us and them.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

frusdil said:


> Women don't want short men because of the way people look at the couple when the woman is taller, it's a subconscious thing. When a man is shorter than you, you feel like a towering amazon and it's embarrassing for both us and them.


If this isn't too much of a TJ,

Do you think the mass of a man, especially if it's mostly lean, could help offset a woman's height a bit?

I guess I'm curious because I dated women taller than me. One was just under 6' and the other was 6'2".

They both would have ran off into the sunset with me if I asked and I'm a pretty standard 5'10".


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

ConanHub said:


> If this isn't too much of a TJ,
> 
> Do you think the mass of a man, especially if it's mostly lean, could help offset a woman's height a bit?
> 
> ...


As shallow as it sounds, yep, lol.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

frusdil said:


> As shallow as it sounds, yep, lol.


Just so I understand.

If a man is shorter but obviously thick and muscular, outweighing his taller partner, that does help offset the height difference?

I easily outweighed both the taller ladies and neither one had any problems being seen on my arm in public.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

ConanHub said:


> Just so I understand.
> 
> If a man is shorter but obviously thick and muscular, outweighing his taller partner, that does help offset the height difference?
> 
> I easily outweighed both the taller ladies and neither one had any problems being seen on my arm in public.


I ain't got height, but I got GIRTH!


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## Corgi Mum (10 mo ago)

RandomDude said:


> You've never been squished with hugs?
> 
> View attachment 95358
> 
> ...


Nope, can't say I've ever been squished. I'm rather bony in spots, I think I probably look more sharp and pointy than squishable.  
My partners have always been more of the hand-holding type than cuddlers.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

ConanHub said:


> Just so I understand.
> 
> If a man is shorter but obviously thick and muscular, outweighing his taller partner, that does help offset the height difference?
> 
> I easily outweighed both the taller ladies and neither one had any problems being seen on my arm in public.


Yep. It does.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> I ain't got height, but I got GIRTH!
> 
> View attachment 95412


I actually think it's about perceived power.

Height is an easy indicator of a man being more powerful.


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## heather42 (2 mo ago)

ConanHub said:


> I actually think it's about perceived power.
> 
> Height is an easy indicator of a man being more powerful.


There's truth to this.

I only felt comfortable dating men who were much taller than me. I felt someone shorter couldn't protect me and therefore, I perceived them as a bit weak. My husband is very tall.


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## UAArchangel (2 mo ago)

heather42 said:


> There's truth to this.
> 
> I only felt comfortable dating men who were much taller than me. I felt someone shorter couldn't protect me and therefore, I perceived them as a bit weak. My husband is very tall.


Then the women will blame him as to why he decides to not date and perpetual singlehood, with one poster here saying she doesn't trust men who choose to not date. 😛

So, for the short guy, he's last on the list of men women would date. The older he gets, the harder it is for him because women won't date an inexperienced man. If he decides to create an independent lifestyle for himself, he gets accused of being gay or sexually dysfunctional or he must hate women. That's a special circle of hell to belong to.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

UAArchangel said:


> Then the women will blame him as to why he decides to not date and perpetual singlehood, with one poster here saying she doesn't trust men who choose to not date. 😛
> 
> So, for the short guy, he's last on the list of men women would date. The older he gets, the harder it is for him because women won't date an inexperienced man. If he decides to create an independent lifestyle for himself, he gets accused of being gay or sexually dysfunctional or he must hate women. That's a special circle of hell to belong to.


Nobody will blame him for his personal choices but we might not respect a victim attitude.

My father was 5'5 and he had no problem attracting women, many of whom were taller. But he was a self proclaimed "gutter rat".....Brooklyn Jewish guy that grew up in the streets and had an extensive martial arts background. He was not a weak man and women of all heights could see it.

He said when they were on their back it didn't matter. My father was a hoot 🤣


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

ConanHub said:


> I actually think it's about perceived power.
> 
> Height is an easy indicator of a man being more powerful.


It has struck me that the tall men I know like little women.

You know we're a perfect example.....me at 5'4 and my bf at 6'3.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

lifeistooshort said:


> It has struck me that the tall men I know like little women.
> 
> You know we're a perfect example.....me at 5'4 and my bf at 6'3.


My father is 6' flat while my mother is 5' nuthin', (they've been married for 52 and a bit years) it seems to work for them.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

No power imbalance here.😉


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

lifeistooshort said:


> It has struck me that the tall men I know like little women.
> 
> You know we're a perfect example.....me at 5'4 and my bf at 6'3.


That's another aspect I'm going to be curious about.

Now I wonder how widespread really tall men going for shorter women is?

I have a cousin that is 6'4" and he's been married twice. His first wife was about 6' and his current wife is about the same, at least 5'11" because she's a little taller than me. His children are all very tall for some reason....😉


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

@ConanHub, my ex-husband is 6’4”, and I’m 5’4”. Three of our children are on the tall side, and one is a minime. ☺


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

UAArchangel said:


> Then the women will blame him as to why he decides to not date and perpetual singlehood, with one poster here saying she doesn't trust men who choose to not date. 😛
> 
> So, for the short guy, he's last on the list of men women would date. The older he gets, the harder it is for him because women won't date an inexperienced man. If he decides to create an independent lifestyle for himself, he gets accused of being gay or sexually dysfunctional or he must hate women. That's a special circle of hell to belong to.


Actually, I believe men who are average or even on the shorter side, can do well if they have developed or innate power.

Height is simply an easy indicator when many other attributes are not standouts.


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## Zedd (Jul 27, 2021)

yeah, but sometimes it's just a coincidence. I'm 6'2, wife is 5'1. So, this tracks.

except my ex-wife was 5'10.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

ConanHub said:


> Actually, I believe men who are average or even on the shorter side, can do well if they have developed or innate power.
> 
> Height is simply an easy indicator when many other attributes are not standouts.


My father was a great example.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

lifeistooshort said:


> My father was a great example.


I'm obviously in agreement and I appreciate that extra example you gave to add to my data.

@BRL , please let us know if we are being offensive with our thread jack but your post has led to very interesting discussions.

I think tall women can be cute too BTW.😉


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

heather42 said:


> There's truth to this.
> 
> I only felt comfortable dating men who were much taller than me. I felt someone shorter couldn't protect me and therefore, I perceived them as a bit weak. My husband is very tall.


Looks can be deceiving. My exH was a long-time weight lifter and he was tall. He looked like someone you wouldn’t want to mess with. However, he was also the biggest wimp on the planet. You never can tell.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Openminded said:


> Looks can be deceiving. My exH was a long-time weight lifter and he was tall. He looked like someone you wouldn’t want to mess with. However, he was also the biggest wimp on the planet. You never can tell.


Initially, I believe height is attractive to the majority of women though. He did snag you.😉


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

ConanHub said:


> Initially, I believe height is attractive to the majority of women though. He did snag you.😉


😁 Yes, he did snag me. He was very physically appealing — tall and handsome with a muscular body (I was 18 and didn’t look much beyond that for awhile). Without a doubt he made a great first impression even 50 years later. Would I have been so taken had he been a lot shorter? Probably not. I’m 5’9” and while I was (and am) totally okay dating men my height I likely would have felt too awkward if I was the taller one.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

My husband is approximately 5'9", about a few inches taller than me, and I don't think he's considered to be tall since he's not over 6 feet tall. In my single days, I dated tall men but it wasn't their tall height that attracted me into dating them because I preferred not having a huge height difference.

My husband's height is perfect to me and for me. He's built very well, even after all these years, his muscular arms make me melt!


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## Woundidwife (4 mo ago)

UAArchangel said:


> She's probably interpreting your use of the word, 'cute', in the same way that some women will use the word cute, as a backhanded compliment.
> 
> Tell her it is a word that men use for women they want to know and can feel confident about approaching.


Exactly. Meaning: not attractive enough to be pretty or beautiful.

I am also often found to be “cute”, which is something people say to little kids. It’s an insult to a woman that a man supposedly finds attractive.

My guess is there is an emotional event or incident attached to this particular word/feeling.

Here’s a question for you BRL: Have you ever (within your wife’s earshot) said that ANOTHER WOMAN was pretty, hot, beautiful, or sexy? Have you described old girlfriends or acquaintances in this way? 

I am just saying that I think there is some kind of comparison resentment there if she is THAT UPSET about it. 

I have recently had a few word glitches of my own…but those have been AFTER my husband’s infidelity and they are trigger words for me, which I do indeed use to “rake my STBXCH over the coals”. As he well deserves.


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## Woundidwife (4 mo ago)

CraigBesuden said:


> 10 = Gorgeous
> 9 = Beautiful
> 8= Very pretty
> 7 = Pretty
> ...


Yup.


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## BRL (1 mo ago)

Woundidwife said:


> Exactly. Meaning: not attractive enough to be pretty or beautiful.
> 
> I am also often found to be “cute”, which is something people say to little kids. It’s an insult to a woman that a man supposedly finds attractive.
> 
> ...


Her being upset has everything to do with her being salty that it was supposedly all guys ever called her (I call serious ******** on that), and that she wanted “more” from me. I just met the chick. When she brought it up again recently, she said the exact same thing. I did call her beautiful a million times, and she **** on me using the terms “sexy”, and “hot”. “I don't like sexy. That sounds cheap.”

I’ve never once complimented another female in that way since we’ve been together. I would find doing so quite tacky and disrespectful, to be completely honest with you.


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## Zedd (Jul 27, 2021)

BRL said:


> Her being upset has everything to do with her being salty that it was supposedly all guys ever called her (I call serious ****** on that), and that she wanted “more” from me. I just met the chick. When she brought it up again recently, she said the exact same thing. I did call her beautiful a million times, and she **** on me using the terms “sexy”, and “hot”. “I don't like sexy. That sounds cheap.”
> 
> I’ve never once complimented another female in that way since we’ve been together. I would find doing so quite tacky and disrespectful, to be completely honest with you.


Mate - you need to ask yourself one question.

Is this how you want to spend the rest of your life?

It's really that simple.


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## Woundidwife (4 mo ago)

UAArchangel said:


> Then the women will blame him as to why he decides to not date and perpetual singlehood, with one poster here saying she doesn't trust men who choose to not date. 😛
> 
> So, for the short guy, he's last on the list of men women would date. The older he gets, the harder it is for him because women won't date an inexperienced man. If he decides to create an independent lifestyle for himself, he gets accused of being gay or sexually dysfunctional or he must hate women. That's a special circle of hell to belong to.


So then give me a short man who is inexperienced, but who is a good person, doesn’t cheat, and is willing to REALLY TRY making a relationship work even though he has become set in his ways. Please find me one. 

Do these actually exist?

(But not yet. I do need little more time to figure myself out…I would say that 29 years with the SAME man, and the only sexual relationship I have ever had, would also put me in the inexperienced boat. However, I was a “ride or die b!tch” so I was adaptable because I WAS WILLING TO TRY.)


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## Woundidwife (4 mo ago)

BRL said:


> Her being upset has everything to do with her being salty that it was supposedly all guys ever called her (I call serious ** on that), and that she wanted “more” from me. I just met the chick. When she brought it up again recently, she said the exact same thing. I did call her beautiful a million times, and she ** on me using the terms “sexy”, and “hot”. “I don't like sexy. That sounds cheap.”
> 
> I’ve never once complimented another female in that way since we’ve been together. I would find doing so quite tacky and disrespectful, to be completely honest with you.


You do realize this would not be directly to the woman, but maybe in conversation about her with someone else or something. As long as those words didn’t fall from your lips…she shouldn’t really have a gripe.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Woundidwife said:


> Exactly. Meaning: not attractive enough to be pretty or beautiful.
> 
> I am also often found to be “cute”, which is something people say to little kids. It’s an insult to a woman that a man supposedly finds attractive.
> 
> ...


She is that upset about the use of the word cute years (decades?) ago because she is toxic and dysfunctional, see OP's other thread.


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## Woundidwife (4 mo ago)

Livvie said:


> She is that upset about the use of the word cute years (decades?) ago because she is toxic and dysfunctional, see OP's other thread.


Not sure how to find other threads. 😕


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Woundidwife said:


> Not sure how to find other threads. 😕


Click on their user name. It will show how many discussions (threads) they’ve started. Click on that to see individual discussions. There’s often lots to be learned from their previous threads. Sometimes they forget what they said before — or prefer to forget it — and get very annoyed that it’s brought up.🙂


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## Big_Jim59 (Apr 14, 2019)

Cute is good. Beauty becomes wrinkled and drawn but cute lasts. I first saw my wife at a company meeting and I said to a coworker "hey, the girl is cute." And she was. 40 years later she still is.


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