# Tender moment with me and my 12 year old son



## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Well, I had one of those moments as a Dad tonight that I thought I would share with the forum.

He's 12 going on 13 in June.

Let me say that right before I got his text a person told me about my divorce, "Maybe you are on this adventure for some reason." (would never have thought to call it an adventure). I said yeah, maybe some reason.

Well, my son said in a text, "Um, Dad. This is awkward but how do you ask a girl out? I am pretty sure this girl at school likes me."

Isn't that the coolest he would ask me? I mean, Dad? I guess somewhere along the way I wasn't a bad father. I have to wonder if I was still "the married Dad" at home, instead of the bachelor divorcing Dad if he may have not approached me (well, he knows nothing of my dating but still . . .). I never had that kind of a relationship with my father. Maybe that's one reason I am on this adventure.

I offered to take him to the movies (or whereever - traditional first date for a tween going teen, I guess) if he wanted or his mom could do it (I figure Dad's a cooler chauffeur than Mom tho for most boys and girls - a boy doesn't usually want his mom probably).

Omigosh - I have so much to tell him - mainly the "game speech" is 

1. Girls take it way more seriously than you do. You think you are out for fun but they are way ahead of you thinking about things and going to remember everything.
2. #1 being said, forget about it and have fun. Let them be their own head case - they have their whole life for that. You are thinking date; they will think relationship.
3. Be a gentleman.

Okay, this made my year so far! Thanks for letting me share! We just watched Karate Kid together and I told him to go find balance - bonzai!!!

PS: I just got the sinking feeling I am feeding my son to the sharks. . .


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## hyndsight1 (Jan 28, 2010)

good stuff scanner, 

as far as the last part, think about how much more we can offer in guidance as we recieved. Think of it as a little silver lining....


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## Help239 (Oct 20, 2009)

Wonderful  

I had a similar experience last week but it was with my 13 year old daughter. She wanted to know if her "friend" could take her to the movies. I said sure but I'd like to meet him first. He is supposed to come by the house this week (I have the kids this week).


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## dantanph (Feb 7, 2010)

I would like my son to ask me the same thing when he is old enough to date. I'd tell him what girls really want


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

Fins to the right, fins to the left and you're the only bait in town. 

Congrats SG.


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## Feelingalone (Apr 22, 2009)

SG,

As you said maybe that is the silver lining for you -- a closeness with your son that was missing with your own father. I know through my struggles I have actually gotten closer to my own father -- who knew he had such wisdom (he never said anything when he was in town from business traveling). Also my relationship with my son has grown as well. I know I appreciate the time I spend with him even more than I did before. One day I too hope he will ask me that kind of question when he is old enough.

I guess that is why kids bring such smiles to our faces -- even during the toughest of times.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Yes, that's the difficult thing - trying to accept the uncertainity in your life and forging new grounds.

I was always Mr. Mom. . .now I am not. . .I am "career Dad" - kinda like your Dad who traveled a lot. An MIA Dad. . .the stb-x said though (in a moment of anger but I think she was being kinda truthful) that the kids seem no worse for the wear.

It was so inherent in me to spend every moment of time with them that I could. . .it's hard adjusting to being the other way but also realizing that your kids will accept you for it and love you just the same (I guess).

I don't know. . .maybe society has gone totally the other way - thinking kids need all this parental time and parents need all this children time. Maybe I am out doing what I am supposed to be doing - providing in the best way I can and trying to be happy. Maybe all this "time" thing is over-rated. I will remember this 6 second moment much more than the idle time we often had together when I am aged.

I emailed my son's 1rst grade teacher today about being a room Dad. . .hopefully I can do that next year in 2nd grade.

My oldest saw the crap my stb-x put me thru - he's no dummy, I guess. Still, I feel bad I can't (or maybe won't at times) take them more.


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