# How can I talk my wife into seeing a marriage counselor?



## joemaddux (Jul 14, 2008)

My wife and I have been a couple for 4 years and married for 1. We have two lovely girls. We've had rough times together, but have always loved each other. We both have issues that need to be dealt with, but we don't know how to go about taking care of that. I understand marriage counseling has helped a lot of couples that I know. I've never been open-minded enough to accept counseling, but anymore, I'll do anything to keep my marriage and family together and healthy. I watched my brother-in-law/best friend go through all kinds of counseling for drug and alcohol addiction, so I know that it works. I'm open to counseling now more than ever, but my wife is not. She had a very traumatic childhood, which I believe is a big part of our marital problems. She knows that she has issues, but is not willing to deal with them. She says, "I know what my problems are. I don't need to pay someone I don't even know to tell me what they are." I know that's not how counseling works, but I don't know how to convince her to try it, and that it really can help us. She's ready for a separation to take time consider if it would be in the best interest of our children for us to divorce. I think it would be better for our kids to be in a loving family with their REAL parents than it would be for our children to have parents that are divorced because they "couldn't get along." I love her and I know that she loves me, but we've been through so much together, that she doesn't know if she wants to try to keep it together anymore. I'm willing to do whatever it takes. We haven't tried everything to mend our broken marriage, so I don't think that we should give up yet. Could someone PLEASE give me some advice on how to talk her into some sort of counseling!?!?! Thank you!


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## envision (Jul 23, 2008)

Have you tried explaining that it is something you need versus something she needs to do? If she goes to support you, than she may eventually feel comfortable enough to become a part of it. Most insurances won't cover marrital counseling (I'm going through it) and will put the sessions down as being individual sessions "conjoined" so really you could go for yourself and see if she will follow suit.


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

i've done a little studying since my loony dr. rice episode. i have talked to counselors and therapists across the country. this guy is cool, and i think, results based. i just like what he has to say. i've lived through it.

Does Couples Counseling Really Work?


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

voivod said:


> i've done a little studying since my loony dr. rice episode. i have talked to counselors and therapists across the country. this guy is cool, and i think, results based. i just like what he has to say. i've lived through it.
> 
> Does Couples Counseling Really Work?


ya ive heard a lot that marriage counseling doesnt work. ive never been and i never would. i think counseling in general doesnt work very well. its ok to have on the side, but i certainly dont rely on it. 

"Action without thought is a form of insanity; Thought without action is a crime." Albert Einstein 

I think counseling encourages thought without action.


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

ljtseng said:


> ya ive heard a lot that marriage counseling doesnt work. ive never been and i never would. i think counseling in general doesnt work very well. its ok to have on the side, but i certainly dont rely on it.
> 
> "Action without thought is a form of insanity; Thought without action is a crime." Albert Einstein
> 
> I think counseling encourages thought without action.


einstein...a rennaisance man...thanks!

i've been to individual counseling, which turned into couples counseling, which turned into a nightmare, a true fiasco. now i'm in individual counseling, and it's good again.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

Ya you know my H's counselor seems to be really good. He had a big breakthrough in his last session.


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

ljtseng said:


> Ya you know my H's counselor seems to be really good. He had a big breakthrough in his last session.


good! and noticeable to you?


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