# what is likely going to happened?



## Bleika Lii (Mar 3, 2017)

Just vizualization - you are man with no relationships and you are thirsty from sex (haven't had sex more than year with woman) and now there is something like that - There is a friend of you (woman), she is not beautiful and not physical attractive to you. More like ugly. You don't have a feelings for her either. But there is a situation when she doesn't have a place where to stay overnight and you sleep in one room and she offers you sex many times. What man most likely going to do? Will have sex? Is it possible to have sex with someone you don't have feelings and you don't like physically and you think the person is even ugly, but just close as friend? is it possible?


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## sherrialicia (Jul 10, 2013)

if you'd like to stay friends with this person DON'T DO IT


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Of course it's physically possible. The question you have to answer is do you feel it is morally and ethically right? I would personally never do something like this, but everyone is different and I respect that.

If you know her well enough, you could have a frank discussion, letting her know you are not at all interested in a romantic relationship with her, but you are ok with "friends with benefits". Then see how she feels about it. 

Who's to say she doesn't think you are ugly, but that she hasn't got laid in a long time, and just needs a little action?


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## maritalloneliness (Mar 18, 2015)

When we were young, I asked my brother in law that same question - his response was that you can do her doggie style and not have to look at her, which I find disgusting . People have sex for various reasons and if she's unattractive as you say she might also be lonely and desire sex just as you do but you have to be extremely clear of your intent. Based on her personality, you can gauge if she can remain impartial. 

Sent from my SM-N910T using Tapatalk


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Bleika Lii said:


> Just vizualization - you are man with no relationships and you are thirsty from sex (haven't had sex more than year with woman) and now there is something like that - There is a friend of you (woman), she is not beautiful and not physical attractive to you. More like ugly. You don't have a feelings for her either. But there is a situation when she doesn't have a place where to stay overnight and you sleep in one room and she offers you sex many times. What man most likely going to do? Will have sex? Is it possible to have sex with someone you don't have feelings and you don't like physically and you think the person is even ugly, but just close as friend? is it possible?


*Unless I have developed genuine vibes with her, greatly to the point that there is a mutual set of feelings as well as sexual desire built up for each other, I absolutely will not go there until those mutual feelings come to fruition!

Maybe it was just the way that I was brought up by my family, but looking for meaningless sex, with extremely rare exception, is a whole lot like trying to trevass Death Valley in the mid-July heat!

It's just rarely turns out to be any kind of a winning proposition! *


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## Bleika Lii (Mar 3, 2017)

Woman knows that it will be just sex and nothing more. They both know - JUST SEX. 
But the guy is attractive, so from the girl's view it is normal that she can do it with that man (NOT feelings, BUT the guy is physically attractive). But from the man's view she is ugly.(NOT feelings, girl IS NOT physically attractive, but he just wants sex and is it really possible to make sex with someone who is not physically attractive and you don't have feelings? If girl was physically attractive i would understand, but she is not. It' s really that simple, you just don't look at the face and it is possible to do it? (I have heard from men, than once you start to do sex, you don't think with head, but just with head down there, so from that point I can understand, but before you are in, how can you start to do it??? )


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

Bleika Lii said:


> Woman knows that it will be just sex and nothing more. They both know - JUST SEX.
> But the guy is attractive, so from the girl's view it is normal that she can do it with that man (NOT feelings, BUT the guy is physically attractive). But from the man's view she is ugly.(NOT feelings, girl IS NOT physically attractive, but he just wants sex and is it really possible to make sex with someone who is not physically attractive and you don't have feelings? If girl was physically attractive i would understand, but she is not. It' s really that simple, you just don't look at the face and it is possible to do it? (I have heard from men, than once you start to do sex, you don't think with head, but just with head down there, so from that point I can understand, but before you are in, how can you start to do it??? )



I suspect you're the woman. Just doll yourself up as much as possible, get him to have a drink or two, and go from there.


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

Bleika Lii said:


> Woman knows that it will be just sex and nothing more. They both know - JUST SEX.
> But the guy is attractive, so from the girl's view it is normal that she can do it with that man (NOT feelings, BUT the guy is physically attractive). But from the man's view she is ugly.(NOT feelings, girl IS NOT physically attractive, but he just wants sex and is it really possible to make sex with someone who is not physically attractive and you don't have feelings? If girl was physically attractive i would understand, but she is not. It' s really that simple, you just don't look at the face and it is possible to do it? (I have heard from men, than once you start to do sex, you don't think with head, but just with head down there, so from that point I can understand, but before you are in, how can you start to do it??? )


If the guy is attractive, he shouldn't have any trouble finding a sex partner who is not "ugly".

If one has to ask if they should have sex with somebody or not - they probably shouldn't.

If you're at the point where you're considering having sex with someone you find unattractive, you're probably not as attractive as you think, and a lot more desperate than you think you are.


As an aside, people tend to gravitate towards people they feel they have a chance with. An "ugly" person will almost certainly not try to bed a person who is highly attractive in all areas - unless they're giving off an air of desperation. Or they're not as attractive as they think. Sexual propositions are generally made when one thinks their chances of rejection and embarrassment are low. To you, this woman is beneath you. To her, she probably thinks you're attractive, yes, but not to the degree that you believe you are. Or you may be the best looking dude around, but your attitude and personality does not reflect that. In other words, people tend to proposition people who they feel are on equal footing in some regard, or in most cases, below. You don't hit on the hottest, most confident girl in the bar if you're looking for a one-night-stand. You look for the one you perceive to be the easiest.


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

manwithnoname said:


> I suspect you're the woman. Just doll yourself up as much as possible, get him to have a drink or two, and go from there.


Good call, I didn't think of that!

If that's the case, my answer to the OP will change.

If you, OP, are the woman in this scenario - don't sweat it. How you perceive yourself is not always what others see. We always see our own flaws, and we are constantly comparing ourselves to others.

Furthermore - and far more important - is how you project yourself to others. Confidence (real or fake) is extremely important. Act as though you're not worthy, and people will see you as not worthy.

I can think of a handful of women I know, or knew, who wouldn't be considered 'attractive' by so-called societal standards. Yet they have this 'sexiness' about them. They carry themselves well, or have a slight confidence, or just exude a certain sexuality. My wife and I have a friend who is not beautiful by any stretch of the imagination. But there's something about her that screams sexy and attractive. I couldn't tell you what it is, exactly, but it's there.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Love is but a light switch away......


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

I have never gone to bed with an ugly woman.
I woke up with a few though.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

This is in the Sex in MARRIAGE section. Is someone cheating here? What are you planning?


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

I don't sleep with people I'm not attracted to. But yes, it is likely that other people feel differently.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

I agree that this is most likely the OP. So this reply is going to be based on that possibility. 
I would venture to bet the OP is a virgin, because of the wording (I.e. "Do sex" or "make sex") and questions. That, and English is probably not her first language. Which is irrelevant.

If this is the case, I would really wait for someone you care about, and who cares about you.
If you have religious beliefs about sex, follow them. Handing away your virginity to some dude that isn't interested in you being more than a hole of relief, sounds like a terrible idea to me.


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## Bleika Lii (Mar 3, 2017)

No,no, no. You got me wrong. I'm not that girl and not that boy either. I just had a conversation (chat) with my friends. And one of them told me he was sexual addicted for some period of time. But he is the guy who is not "club guy" and doesn't go on purpose to look for girl for one night. But there he was with friend (girl) overnight and she offered the sex. First he said no, she offered again, again, again. Just sex, nothing more. No kisses, no hugs, just sex. And just because he was sexual addicted in that period, he agreed. 
But he said it was awful to think with who he is doing this, not because she was friend of him, but because she wasn't attractive and guy didn't have a feelings for her. But he just didn't look in her face, didn't kiss here and just tried to do it. When he was doing sex, he told that head down there took all control and from that moment was better feeling, because he hadn't think about her, but just about sex. He did it few more times, but everytime with the same awful feeling, just because he was sexual addicted. Everytime after sex he felt bad and regret and wanted to go away faster. But the "sexual addiction" was out of control. After few times he couldn't stand it anymore and quit. I understand that people do sex for many reasons, and I was shamed to asked him all what i ask here, but is it really possible for guys to do it just because you are sexual addicted?


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Bleika Lii said:


> No,no, no. You got me wrong. I'm not that girl and not that boy either. I just had a conversation (chat) with my friends. And one of them told me he was sexual addicted for some period of time. But he is the guy who is not "club guy" and doesn't go on purpose to look for girl for one night. But there he was with friend (girl) overnight and she offered the sex. First he said no, she offered again, again, again. Just sex, nothing more. No kisses, no hugs, just sex. And just because he was sexual addicted in that period, he agreed.
> But he said it was awful to think with who he is doing this, not because she was friend of him, but because she wasn't attractive and guy didn't have a feelings for her. But he just didn't look in her face, didn't kiss here and just tried to do it. When he was doing sex, he told that head down there took all control and from that moment was better feeling, because he hadn't think about her, but just about sex. He did it few more times, but everytime with the same awful feeling, just because he was sexual addicted. Everytime after sex he felt bad and regret and wanted to go away faster. But the "sexual addiction" was out of control. After few times he couldn't stand it anymore and quit. I understand that people do sex for many reasons, and I was shamed to asked him all what i ask here, but is it really possible for guys to do it just because you are sexual addicted?


My husband is a sex addict, and what you describe is NOT. True sex addicts use sex as a means of dealing with stressors in their life. That does NOT mean that they screw anything with two legs. In fact, it's often the opposite. Many people think that sex addiction = sex all the time but nothing could be further from the truth.

Your friend displays a sorry lack of self control, nothing more. He's using 'sex addiction' as an excuse.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Bleika Lii said:


> Just vizualization - you are man with no relationships and you are thirsty from sex (haven't had sex more than year with woman) and now there is something like that - There is a friend of you (woman), she is not beautiful and not physical attractive to you. More like ugly. You don't have a feelings for her either. But there is a situation when she doesn't have a place where to stay overnight and you sleep in one room and she offers you sex many times. What man most likely going to do? Will have sex? Is it possible to have sex with someone you don't have feelings and you don't like physically and you think the person is even ugly, but just close as friend? is it possible?


Great answers, but *way too many variables for me to answer*. Assuming both are single in this day and age of STD's or STI's, sex at the drop of a hat should not be initiated without some thought about what the consequences could entail.

As a 68 year old man, I have learned that beauty is as well as "ugly" are interesting concepts that change with time. What I thought of as ugly when I was 20, can now look pretty darn HOT. I have found that my wife of 45+years still looks hot to me.

Hormonal release of bonding chemicals is pretty powerful stuff, as well.


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## Bleika Lii (Mar 3, 2017)

That guy told me he was sex addicted,because he was doing handjob like all the time he could and after that in few minutes he wanted more and more and more again. And only sex with woman could stop it for longer period of time (few days) and than again. But the awful feelings doing with that woman stopped him even use that woman to reduce the sex addiction.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Bleika Lii said:


> That guy told me he was sex addicted,because he was doing handjob like all the time he could and after that in few minutes he wanted more and more and more again. And only sex with woman could stop it for longer period of time (few days) and than again. But the awful feelings doing with that woman stopped him even use that woman to reduce the sex addiction.


'that guy' is screwed up, not sex addicted. No one can call themselves 'sex addicted' until they've been properly diagnosed by a professional called a CSAT.

Why do you even care?? He sounds like an idiot. Just stay away from him and people like him. He's just messing with your head here.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Bleika Lii said:


> Just vizualization - you are man with no relationships and you are thirsty from sex (haven't had sex more than year with woman) and now there is something like that - There is a friend of you (woman), she is not beautiful and not physical attractive to you. More like ugly. You don't have a feelings for her either. But there is a situation when she doesn't have a place where to stay overnight and you sleep in one room and she offers you sex many times. What man most likely going to do? Will have sex? Is it possible to have sex with someone you don't have feelings and you don't like physically and you think the person is even ugly, but just close as friend? is it possible?


Sex is somewhat a mechanical function for a man. He is horny, so he has sex. He is hungry, so he has a samwich. SO, it does not so much matter how pretty this woman is, if she has tits and a cooch and is eager/kinky, odds are the guy will be horny and say sure, why not!


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

To me Ugly vs Beautiful is not the highest priority thing in considering sex.


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

So how ugly are we talking here?


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## Bleika Lii (Mar 3, 2017)

But why would he do that? We are just good friends from childhood. 

But what about people who are doing sex after marriage? And why people go to ****s (prostitution)? They need sex. The guy is not "club guy". And he was friends with that woman for long years. So from that point if view I can understand - no feelings no physical attraction,but he knows that person and trusts. Of course he felt bad what he was doing. It wasn't joy. It was just necessary for his sex drive. They both agreed to use each other for sex. He is usually the guy who make sex with girls he loves. But he was just divorced and didn't look for new one. And then the friend of him offered sex and he just used her to release sexual needs. I am one who do always with feelings that's why I don't understand how people can do sexy without feelings and if person is not physical attractive (just neutral) like didn't like hers body


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## Bleika Lii (Mar 3, 2017)

No, not that ugly as in the picture , although he said it was dark while he was doing it and could do with even ugliest friend (girl), it wasn't matter....the look. More like mechanical, because it was step better than do handjob. But of course he felt bad what he was doing. He said he even tried to imagine he is doing it with other girl, just not to think she is she. Is it true if sex is mechanical, guy doesn't think just feels down there and nothing more? As woman I don't understand it, because I always think during sex and I can't "forget" or "stop thinking" who is under me. Guys are totally different I guess


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Bleika Lii said:


> Woman knows that it will be just sex and nothing more. They both know - JUST SEX.
> But the guy is attractive, so from the girl's view it is normal that she can do it with that man (NOT feelings, BUT the guy is physically attractive). But from the man's view she is ugly.(NOT feelings, girl IS NOT physically attractive, but he just wants sex and is it really possible to make sex with someone who is not physically attractive and you don't have feelings? If girl was physically attractive i would understand, but she is not. It' s really that simple, you just don't look at the face and it is possible to do it? (I have heard from men, than once you start to do sex, you don't think with head, but just with head down there, so from that point I can understand, but before you are in, how can you start to do it??? )


Of course it's possible for a man to have sex with a woman he does not find attractive, even a really ugly woman. Some guys just want sex.


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## Phil Anders (Jun 24, 2015)

I've been in the situation (minus the year-long drought, but definitely unattached & horny) and I passed. I'd rather take care of things myself than have sex with someone who doesn't attract me. 

I did have college acquaintances who would "take one for the team" (as they put it) by boning some "butterface," and then brag about it...all of which, particularly at a small school, seemed at least as callous and hurtful as it was inexplicable.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

There is a saying I heard over in Ireland.You don't look at the mantle piece when you are poking the fire.
Another one is screwing an ugly woman is like riding a moped.You can have good fun but you wouldn't want your friends to see you.


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