# After we do anything sexual



## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

My husband will look at me randomly throughout the day with an intensity that makes me pretty self-conscious..I always look up & ask what he wants and he'll usually say "nothing, just looking"..I tend to look horrible & all messed up from whatever we just did - but why would he want to be looking intently when I'm a wreck? I always tell him to cut it out..

I'd love to believe that he's not thinking anything but is that possible?
I often wonder what is going on behind those looks. Of course I wind up thinking the worst..

We've been together a long time, but I always wonder what is he thinking at these moments? I've been here a long time so I know the common answer will be that asking other men won't answer my question, but maybe it will help me understand a guy's mind better, considering my husband isn't always forthcoming with his thoughts.

Thanks for the insight, in advance: )
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

karma*girl said:


> My husband will look at me randomly throughout the day with an intensity that makes me pretty self-conscious..I always look up & ask what he wants and he'll usually say "nothing, just looking"..I tend to look horrible & all messed up from whatever we just did - but why would he want to be looking intently when I'm a wreck? I always tell him to cut it out..
> 
> I'd love to believe that he's not thinking anything but is that possible?
> I often wonder what is going on behind those looks. Of course I wind up thinking the worst..
> ...


Maybe he's reliving the great sex you just had.


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## snerg (Apr 10, 2013)

karma*girl said:


> My husband will look at me randomly throughout the day with an intensity that makes me pretty self-conscious..I always look up & ask what he wants and he'll usually say "nothing, just looking"..I tend to look horrible & all messed up from whatever we just did - but why would he want to be looking intently when I'm a wreck? I always tell him to cut it out..
> 
> I'd love to believe that he's not thinking anything but is that possible?
> I often wonder what is going on behind those looks. Of course I wind up thinking the worst..
> ...


is it possible he's thinking "oh yeah, I just smashed that" I think that a lot.

OR

He could be thinking "I'm going to smash that" I think that a lot as well


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Maybe he thinks "WOW. My woman is hot!"


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## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

: ) Well that's much more fun than the thoughts I imagined he was having..practically opposite! 
I guess my thoughts about myself may not always be the same as his thoughts about me..although that is really hard to get into my head!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I'm going with the thoughts that go through my head when I see my SO after we've had some fun... I LOVE her "just f'cked" look. Hair all over the place, most of her makeup gone... It's all good!

C


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

karma*girl said:


> : ) Well that's much more fun than the thoughts I imagined he was having..practically opposite!
> I guess my thoughts about myself may not always be the same as his thoughts about me..although that is really hard to get into my head!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Hopefully everyones responses will help you change your outlook.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

I have had more than one woman tell me that I look 'angry' at them in bed. 
Nope ... I'm just intensely focused on how wonderful she is, and how incredibly good, and special she makes me feel, and how I cherish her. It's a gift.

It's serious business this sex stuff.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

Next time look right back at him and don't say a word start a starring contest with him when he breaks and asks what? say you going to come over here and bang me or you just whistling Dixie!


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

karma*girl said:


> My husband will look at me randomly throughout the day with an intensity that makes me pretty self-conscious..I always look up & ask what he wants and he'll usually say "nothing, just looking"..*I tend to look horrible & all messed up from whatever we just did - but why would he want to be looking intently when I'm a wreck? I always tell him to cut it out..*
> I'd love to believe that he's not thinking anything but is that possible?
> I often wonder what is going on behind those looks. Of course I wind up thinking the worst..
> 
> ...


It absolutely amazes me how many women think this, and just simply can't get it through their heads that a man in love with her sees that messed up hair, the smeared makeup, and thinks she's the hottest most beautiful thing in the world. When you tell him to cut it out, you are likely telling him to stop thinking you're hot.

What do you think of your husband when he first wakes up in the morning, a bit scruffy in the face, hair all over the place?

Oh, and as to what I'm thinking most of the time when I see her looking properly and thoroughly fvcked? Probably what an artist thinks when looking at his newly finished masterpiece...yeah, I just nailed that


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

He's probably thinking how lucky he is and how much he loves you. Of course, it would help if he said so!


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## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

Yikes! I don't want him to stop thinking I'm hot if that's what he's doing!
Next time, maybe I'll just surprise him & tell him to quit staring & start screwing, lol! He'd be shocked!

I DO wish, very much, that he would come out & SAY things like that if that's what he's thinking. 
Most of us ladies could squash the majority of our negative self-talk if we knew for sure that our guy was thinking all good things..at least it would help me out.
Most of what I wind up stressing over is what 'I think' he could be thinking. 
For him to tell me the truth of the matter, would be amazing!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

karma*girl said:


> Yikes! I don't want him to stop thinking I'm hot if that's what he's doing!
> Next time, maybe I'll just surprise him & tell him to quit staring & start screwing, lol! He'd be shocked!
> 
> *I DO wish, very much, that he would come out & SAY things like that if that's what he's thinking*.
> ...


If there was actually any one thing I wish my STBW could do a better job with, it is this! I wish she could vocalize the thoughts and feelings in the moment better.

And about telling him to stop staring and start screwing? Oh.Hell.Yeah! Full stop.


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## Sanity (Mar 7, 2011)

After sex I loved, loved loved watching my ex get up naked and hit the bathroom and come back to bed for round two and/or cuddle. A naked woman bouncing or better yet frolicking after sex is a championship belt for most men including myself.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

He's surveying his conquest


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## ocotillo (Oct 17, 2011)

karma*girl said:


> I often wonder what is going on behind those looks.


How about love?


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

What might look a wreck to you probably looks very sexy and tousled to him. Eye contact after sex is a good sign, methinks.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Cosmos said:


> What might look a wreck to you probably looks very sexy and tousled to him. Eye contact after sex is a good sign, methinks.


Yeah, he might want you more than a hungry wolf wants a steak. Serious desire and passion.

And you feel like some hairs are outta place and the makeup isn't perfect, lol.


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## Refuse to be played (Jun 7, 2013)

If I'm staring at my wife after sex I'm either thinking how awesome and beautiful she is, gearing up for round 2, or simply admiring my handy work.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I love this thread!


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

maybe he thinking is that cum in her hair?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Chilly....hysterical!


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## Accipiter777 (Jul 22, 2011)

NOTHING is hotter than a woman after sex.


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## Eagle3 (Dec 4, 2013)

I will take a look of a woman after doing the deed over being all dressed up etc...Whoever said the comment about love seeing your wife walk back from the bathroom is spot on. Its like your personal sex catwalk.


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## romantic_guy (Nov 8, 2011)

Accipiter777 said:


> NOTHING is hotter than a woman after sex.


We'll said! What many women can't understand is we feel the most intimate, the closest emotionally to our woman after sex. So we just like to look at that incredibly hot woman and bask in the glow.


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## oldgeezer (Sep 8, 2012)

karma*girl said:


> My husband will look at me randomly throughout the day with an intensity that makes me pretty self-conscious..I always look up & ask what he wants and he'll usually say "nothing, just looking"..I tend to look horrible & all messed up from whatever we just did - but why would he want to be looking intently when I'm a wreck? I always tell him to cut it out..
> 
> I'd love to believe that he's not thinking anything but is that possible?
> I often wonder what is going on behind those looks. Of course I wind up thinking the worst..
> ...


Well... If my experience at this is anything like.. normal maleness... the stuff that runs through my head... 

"I'd love to suck those nipples again..."

"I can't believe I just got it for an hour... wish I could do it again right now..."

"I wonder if I can get her to orgasm aloud..."

Or, random, vivid recollections of being wholly engulfed in the pleasure and thrill...

The next time you catch him staring... Pull off the shirt and bra and sit on his lap and see what comes up... You might find he just wants you again. You just can't ask a guy to share his innermost fantasies about you, especially when you appear to be annoyed with him.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Deejo said:


> I have had more than one woman tell me that I look 'angry' at them in bed.
> Nope ... I'm just intensely focused on how wonderful she is, and how incredibly good, and special she makes me feel, and how I cherish her. It's a gift.
> 
> *It's serious business this sex stuff.*


*Yeah, but when done right, and lovingly, the entire episode can literally make me smile like a Chesher Cat!*


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## meson (May 19, 2011)

I do that. It's just taking in the moment, the companionship and being with someone I love. It being etched in my mind and it will be remembered later fondly....


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> Maybe he thinks "WOW. My woman is hot!"


:iagree: 

That is exactly what I think too. After a hot and sweaty session, I find myself looking at my wife too, replaying the wonderful feelings we just went thru together in my mind. Maybe it is because men are more visual than women...I don't know. 

There are many times when I wish my wife would just completely let go of all of her inhibitions and enjoy some of the sexual moments even more...and when she does this, I find myself looking at her sweaty body glistening, her wild bed head hair, her messed up makeup, and try to savor it in my mind. She is SO hot and sexy in these moments...and I just want to remember them in my mind. :smthumbup:


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## solvency7 (Jun 15, 2013)

I constantly look at my wife with the look 'I know we have done it a lot over the years but your damn sexy let's go' 
Take it as a compliment if he looked at you then spit on the floor then there is issues. its flattering, if you were a ugly smelly fat piece of mess then he'd avoid looking lol.

It's all good


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Deejo said:


> I have had more than one woman tell me that I look 'angry' at them in bed.
> Nope ... I'm just intensely focused on how wonderful she is, and how incredibly good, and special she makes me feel, and how I cherish her. It's a gift.
> 
> *It's serious business this sex stuff*.


:lol::smthumbup:


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I think part of a mans fun is getting to take a picturesque beauty and totally annihilating her with orgasms!

Honestly, I stare at my wife like that almost all the time.

She is my drug of choice, hooked harder than heroin and the pleasure keeps getting better!:smthumbup:


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## john1068 (Nov 12, 2013)

karma*girl said:


> My husband will look at me randomly throughout the day with an intensity that makes me pretty self-conscious..I always look up & ask what he wants and he'll usually say "nothing, just looking"..I tend to look horrible & all messed up from whatever we just did - but why would he want to be looking intently when I'm a wreck? I always tell him to cut it out..
> 
> I'd love to believe that he's not thinking anything but is that possible?
> I often wonder what is going on behind those looks. Of course I wind up thinking the worst..
> ...


When you say you "wind up thinking the worst", what is it that YOU presume HE is thinking? 

I find myself doing the same thing to my wife. We've been together for 25 years, married for 22. Sometimes I'm just amazed at her beauty (yes, even if she is currently, in the moment a hot mess). Often I'm amazed and grateful that she picked me AND stayed with me for all these years. Sometimes I'm just paying her attention when looking at a computer screen or smart phone would be wasteful of my time. OFten, she "catches me" staring at her, and I used to say "nothing, really" when she asked why. But now I just tell her...because it's hard to take my eyes off of you, or something else. The reality is, we who love our wives just like to look at you. We reminisce, we recall a memory, we are studying what pleases us.

My wife just rolls with it, she knows I'm really into her.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

john1068 said:


> When you say you "wind up thinking the worst", what is it that YOU presume HE is thinking?
> 
> I find myself doing the same thing to my wife. We've been together for 25 years, married for 22. Sometimes I'm just amazed at her beauty (yes, even if she is currently, in the moment a hot mess). Often I'm amazed and grateful that she picked me AND stayed with me for all these years. Sometimes I'm just paying her attention when looking at a computer screen or smart phone would be wasteful of my time. OFten, she "catches me" staring at her, and I used to say "nothing, really" when she asked why. But now I just tell her...because it's hard to take my eyes off of you, or something else. The reality is, we who love our wives just like to look at you. We reminisce, we recall a memory, we are studying what pleases us.
> 
> My wife just rolls with it, she knows I'm really into her.


They don't HAVE to be physically beautiful, but it is a nice benefit, especially if they really like you, treat you good and are into you.


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## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

First off, Wowee! Thank you all for your honest insight..I love that you all feel so positive about your wives..that gives me hope that my negative thinking is way off base!

In answer to John's question, I wind up getting self-conscious about what he's looking at..I imagine him thinking things about me that he wishes he could improve, like I wish she had bigger t***, or a tighter a**, or a prettier face..those are my thoughts. 

I imagine if I think those ways, he must also. 
I keep that insecure part mostly under wraps so he doesn't feel like he has to reassure me all the time.

He does say sweet, admiring things anyways, it's just hard sometimes to internalize it. I think, as a woman, I am not alone in that..not that I enjoy being that way. I think I'm just hard-wired to be aware that he's always surveying what else is out there, (not purposefully or to hurt me) & that brings me to have a very critical eye toward myself. It makes inner confidence a tough thing to nail down.
Like I am ALWAYS being stacked up against competition..(real & non-real.)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## skype (Sep 25, 2013)

This thread reminds me of Amy Schumer's clip about how women constantly criticize themselves:

Watch: Amy Schumer on How Women Accept Compliments | The Jane Dough


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

karma*girl said:


> First off, Wowee! Thank you all for your honest insight..I love that you all feel so positive about your wives..that gives me hope that my negative thinking is way off base!
> 
> In answer to John's question, I wind up getting self-conscious about what he's looking at..I imagine him thinking things about me that he wishes he could improve, like I wish she had bigger t***, or a tighter a**, or a prettier face..those are my thoughts.
> 
> ...


My STBW is very critical of herself as well, but still knows that I find her the most attractive woman I have ever seen. She says she can see it in my eyes, in how I look at her. That I can convey every bit of love, lust and desire I feel with just a look.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Women. If you have that fulfilled sex life with your man, and you don't understand why his eyes glow and he can't take his eyes off of you...

He's looking at you as one of the sexiest women in the world, and he's sprung! 

You may as well enjoy it and not find a reason to feel bad about yourself.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Deejo said:


> I have had more than one woman tell me that I look 'angry' at them in bed.
> Nope ... I'm just intensely focused on how wonderful she is, and how incredibly good, and special she makes me feel, and how I cherish her. It's a gift.
> 
> It's serious business this sex stuff.


This is the one thing I don't think women will ever really "get" about being a man.

Maybe that's for the best.

But, anyone of them can have sex 365 nights/year.

All they need to do is go to a local establishment, park herself on the bar stool and wait long enough. The opportunity will emerge.

For us?

Someone has to say "yes"

We treasure those that do.


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

karma*girl said:


> In answer to John's question, I wind up getting self-conscious about what he's looking at..I imagine him thinking things about me that he wishes he could improve, like I wish she had bigger t***, or a tighter a**, or a prettier face..those are my thoughts.


My biggest single issue with my wife is how she treats herself. She would never allow others to say the things that she does about herself. 



> I imagine if I think those ways, he must also.
> I keep that insecure part mostly under wraps so he doesn't feel like he has to reassure me all the time.


My second biggest issue with my wife is that she can't see herself the way I see her, and can't believe her when I say those things (though I think I am finally getting through to her).


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## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

Well, TAG, you sound like my husband. He is also getting through to me, slowly but surely. I just need to let my guard down, I suppose.

It's just weird. I've spent so much time trying to protect myself from seeming naive (as in, believing him) that I have trouble just letting go & accepting what he says/does as genuine. No past issues on that, just my own protective devices. 

I feel like, if I believe him, I'll look stupid..(THAT sounds so dumb though!) 
Like that skit that was posted about women not taking a compliment nicely..why can't we just believe people? It seems like we are conditioned to protect ourselves from being vulnerable & open to criticism, so we close off. In the process, we deny praise as well. It's dumb. It's hard to appear self-assured & accept compliments when we learn that people might see us as full of ourselves or conceited. 

It's one of those tendencies that certainly does not serve us. Intellectually, I know I need to shut off my ******* mind sometimes & just be. Actually doing that can be pretty hard.

Sorry if that reads in an odd way. I'm trying to figure myself out here😊
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I hope from reading this thread, the men come to understand it is nearly universal that all women are in want of self confidence in their bodies and appearance.

And I hope all women who read this thread come to understand that it is likelwise, almost universal that men like what they see, particularly after they have just tapped that!

I love this thread!


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

mmmm,mmmm,good comes to mind!


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## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

..that's what comes to mind for me too, about him! : ) Yummy!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

For a long as there have been men, eyes, women and clothing, put them all together and it's all there. he's undressing you with his eyes. 

Gotta tell you, that's a lot of fun. You could have been naked in front of him a thousand times but the barrier of the clothes makes a guy wonder and with some guys it's like the first time he met you and stripped you naked with his eyes back then.

Be happy that he still does it. You must be doing something right.


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## oldgeezer (Sep 8, 2012)

karma*girl said:


> In answer to John's question, I wind up getting self-conscious about what he's looking at..I imagine him thinking things about me that he wishes he could improve, like I wish she had bigger t***, or a tighter a**, or a prettier face..those are my thoughts.


Any guy who is thinking that... Or those are serious issues, is someone who would already be chasing someone else, flirting, having affairs, would be unkind and narcissistic. Seriously. If he's not that, there's JUST NO WAY that's what's in his head. I'm 50, my wife is 47, and neither of us are specimens anyone would photograph. But, I have NEVER thought that. Even when the boobs get saggy and the butt's a little big... It just really does not matter. Those are not who we are, they do not make life what it is. YOU have that dialog in your head, perhaps, but it exists only in the heads of worthless, despicable husbands. If it actually happened, you should have left him long before then. 



> *I imagine if I think those ways, he must also. *
> I keep that insecure part mostly under wraps so he doesn't feel like he has to reassure me all the time.


Not at all. The real issue is that YOU need to stop letting those run through your head, said by yourself about yourself.


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## MrHappy (Oct 23, 2008)

I am usually thinking "Damn! She is still conscious and walking. I'll do better next time. <insert evil laugh>"


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