# Found the emails



## bigbang155 (Jan 25, 2010)

Ok so I have been married for almost five years now. Im a staff sergeant in the army and have been on two deployments and will be leaving in a few weeks for number 3. I have known my wife for about 11 years and we dated for about four years. While we were dating, I found out from her mom that she had been cheating on me for about three months. I confronted her and she was basically emotionless about it all and we broke up. we were broken up for about a year and right before I left for basic we got back together and after basic we got married. That was back in 04-05.

Now fast forward to 2010, my wife is pregnant and we have been going through some rough times. She has some issues that stem from her childhood and one of those is she has issues with trust. Recently I found out she has lied to me about a lot of stuff and I was ready to call it quits. After a lot of thought I decided to give it one more shot. But today while I was trying to recover a password to our sprint account I came across some emails I her account. In these emails she was telling this other guy she loved him and there were two photos of her in lingerie. I don’t know what to think. The emails (three of them) date back to July of last year. None since. What should I do? She does not know I found the emails and I forward them to my email account. Am I wrong for wanting a divorce while she is 15 week’s pregnant? I really don’t have time to deal with this since I will be leaving soon. I have already made plans as far as finances go. Just need some advice.


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

You would be divorcing the cheater, not the child. She is a serial cheater. Cut off the cash and cc. Then confront her with the photographs. The point is. It doesn't matter who the guy is, She will cheat again. She has no boundaries.


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

So what was she doing in September/October last year then? :-/


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## bigbang155 (Jan 25, 2010)

as far as september goes im not sure. i was in school for 15 days and she could have done anything while i was gone.


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

We are military too, so I understand the fickle situation you are in. I honestly do see you getting really hurt if you let this go, and after all the dust settles its going to be a mess. You know what I am talking about, we have both seen this a thousand times. Talk to her, but she doesn't have trust issues. She has "telling the truth" issues. She HAS to lie, and that in the end will destroy you. Best of luck and please be safe.


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## bigbang155 (Jan 25, 2010)

thanks for the support and advice. before i found these emails we had already talked about divorce and agreed that after the deployment we would get a divorce on good terms. uncontested. after finding this new stuff it pretty much sealed the deal in my mind. i guess im trying to decide to confront her or just keep this stuff hidden from her


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

Well you're going to be on the hook for child support even if the kid isn't yours, simply because you're the husband at time of conception. The court will rule "in the interests of the child", and not "in the interests of you". If you get the wheels rolling in motion now about the divorce and getting to a lawyer asap there's a chance that you can avoid paying six figures for someone elses kid over the next 18 years.

If the kid is yours, well you're on the hook anyway. But personally I think paying $100,000+ for other people to have sex is outrageous. So I suggest being immediately defensive.

Also once you announce divorce as a plan, you absolutely do not waste any time bringing that action to a conclusion. To put it in miltary terms... you don't announce you plan to declare war and your battle strategy well in advance... unless of choose you want to talk into a trap.


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## VintageLeo (Jan 2, 2009)

Before you leave, make sure you change your Power of Attorney. Also, if you are seriously considering divorce proceedings before you leave, you need to alert someone you trust on base who is staying behind. This is especially important with a child on the way.


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