# Be Present in Life.....



## Shelly29 (Oct 9, 2010)

Learning to be Present in Life is a very difficult thing to do, and not many people truly do that...accepting the past that has brought you to this chapter in life and realizing that all things happen for a reason will only make you stronger and better tomorrow. -MW-

My divorce is final tomorrow....I lived, learned, got hurt, accepted and am moving on.....slowly but steadily.


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

Good for you Shelly, good that you have learned, accepted and are moving on.

:smthumbup::smthumbup:


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

:smthumbup:Im learning to be present, too! I'm listening to Eckhart Tolle's _The Power of Now_. We'll see how it goes next time something sets me off...


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## AmImad (Jan 28, 2011)

I know in my heart, my H is never going to come back, to much has been said and done..to much hurt...

I really hope I can be strong..


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## alicewonderland (Feb 11, 2011)

I am on that path and know it wont be easy but have decided to not do anything and let him start the process. I have stoped crying and now trying to move forward.


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## AmImad (Jan 28, 2011)

alicewonderland said:


> I am on that path and know it wont be easy but have decided to not do anything and let him start the process. I have stoped crying and now trying to move forward.


I am the same, I don't want the divorce, he can do it all. But I am going to try and move on, no more trying x


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## Shelly29 (Oct 9, 2010)

AmImad said:


> I am the same, I don't want the divorce, he can do it all. But I am going to try and move on, no more trying x


In OCtober I was in your same shoes... I wold have never in a million yrs thought I woud be here now divorced... I didn't want it... my ex in my eye was the one I was going to grow old with...and it was "till death do us part" but he wasn't on that same pg....so ther is only so much fighting for the marriage you can do....then you just gotta let it go and take care of you.


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## AmImad (Jan 28, 2011)

Shelly29 said:


> In OCtober I was in your same shoes... I wold have never in a million yrs thought I woud be here now divorced... I didn't want it... my ex in my eye was the one I was going to grow old with...and it was "till death do us part" but he wasn't on that same pg....so ther is only so much fighting for the marriage you can do....then you just gotta let it go and take care of you.


October is when my H walked out.. he is moving into a house share next week, he's been living with his sister these past few months. He's not making any effort with me.. ok he's not rushed out and seen a solicitor.. but he's not asking to spend time together is he?... So I have no other choice but to give up..


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Shelly29 said:


> ther is only so much fighting for the marriage you can do....then you just gotta let it go and take care of you.


Exactly. How are you doing now? How do you compare yourself from then to now? Tell us about your journey thru this.


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## troy (Jan 30, 2011)

alicewonderland said:


> I am on that path and know it wont be easy but have decided to not do anything and let him start the process. I have stoped crying and now trying to move forward.


Same here... I have tried so much, and changed so much for the past year with no success in saving my marriage. Because of my efforts I am a much better person now and I see things a lot clearer than a year ago. But... I am emotionally spent now, and I have also chosen to do no more to save my marriage. I am looking out for me and my kids, and just waiting for her to make a move. I will not be the one to walk out on my marriage and kids when she is the one who wants to end it.


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## Shelly29 (Oct 9, 2010)

Jellybeans said:


> Exactly. How are you doing now? How do you compare yourself from then to now? Tell us about your journey thru this.


Its been 6 months.... i thought I was gonna die, my heart was broken, I though t I would never move on and the first weeks I would cry myself to sleep thinking "what am i going to do now...this cant be happening" It was scary and I didnt think I would see the light at the end of the tunnel...BUT there is always a light that shines through. 

I went to therapy...i tried to fight for the marriage but he was so checked out and adamant about the divorce... fighting for the marriage was bringing me down...I was in a losing battle so I finally gave up and put me first.

He was not going to change, so I had to... i hit the gym, worked out, hung out with girlfriends, did everything that I have wanted to do... I am happy...Do i miss him? Of course, I loved him and I thought he was my soulmate for life, forever...but apparently he didnt think the same way. Everyday it gets a bit better, and some days I have set backs and cry and im in rage....but its the process of healing.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Glad to hear you pulled through.

It is such a life-changing thing, divorce but ya know what...what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Marriage is a two-way street. If one doesn't want it, then you just walk tall and move on.


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## Shelly29 (Oct 9, 2010)

Jellybeans said:


> Glad to hear you pulled through.
> 
> It is such a life-changing thing, divorce but ya know what...what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Marriage is a two-way street. If one doesn't want it, then you just walk tall and move on.


Very well said.... can't fight against a brick wall.... you will lose every time.


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Glad to hear you pulled through.
> 
> It is such a life-changing thing, divorce but ya know what...what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Marriage is a two-way street. If one doesn't want it, then you just walk tall and move on.


only 1 more and I am an official expert


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Shelly29 said:


> Very well said.... can't fight against a brick wall.... you will lose every time.


Exactly. It's hard to argue with someone when you "agree" with them. So if someone wants out, tell them you wish them luck and carry on.



Crankshaw said:


> only 1 more and I am an official expert


Sweet!


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## peace (Jan 19, 2011)

troy said:


> Same here... I have tried so much, and changed so much for the past year with no success in saving my marriage. Because of my efforts I am a much better person now and I see things a lot clearer than a year ago. But... I am emotionally spent now, and I have also chosen to do no more to save my marriage. I am looking out for me and my kids, and just waiting for her to make a move. I will not be the one to walk out on my marriage and kids when she is the one who wants to end it.



Amen Troy,

I am in the same boat as you my friend. I just sent you a private message.


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