# Help! My Husband Moved Out and Wants a Divorce



## Babyeskimo

My husband and I have been married for a little over six years and we can’t seem to see eye to eye on anything. 

Back in May I made a decision (that I wish I could take back) that broke my husbands trust. I did not cheat on my husband. Since then he is just angry at me all the time. We argue you all the time. 

He kept telling me that he wanted a divorce. He didn’t want to be with me anymore and wanted to move out. Finally last Thursday I asked for a compromise between what it is I wanted which was to work on our marriage and what he wanted to get a divorce. 

The compromise was that he was going to move out and into his parents house and that he was going to work on forgiving me and getting past the anger but actively be trying to work on fixing our marriage. Because all that I got from him before is anger we could not have a decent conversation. He was just so angry with me all the time. 

So this past weekend I did not see or talk to my husband at all. Since we got together I have never gone a whole day without seeing him up until this last weekend. And it took everything out of me to not call or not text. But we also own a business together so that meant I had to see him at the office today. 

So I was so nervous how it was going to go all weekend. Got to the office and he made the first move he said good morning and asked how I was. But then we started talking and it got a little heated, but later on in the day we were able to sit and have a better conversation that I think ended well. 

So today we had the first conversation in forever that wasn’t filled with anger about the past mistakes we both had made. But he still feels like he wants a divorce. He says he isn’t happy with me anymore. 

I want to work on getting our happy back? Anyone have any suggestions?


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## Andy1001

Babyeskimo said:


> My husband and I have been married for a little over six years and we can’t seem to see eye to eye on anything.
> 
> Back in May I made a decision (that I wish I could take back) that broke my husbands trust. I did not cheat on my husband. Since then he is just angry at me all the time. We argue you all the time.
> 
> He kept telling me that he wanted a divorce. He didn’t want to be with me anymore and wanted to move out. Finally last Thursday I asked for a compromise between what it is I wanted which was to work on our marriage and what he wanted to get a divorce.
> 
> The compromise was that he was going to move out and into his parents house and that he was going to work on forgiving me and getting past the anger but actively be trying to work on fixing our marriage. Because all that I got from him before is anger we could not have a decent conversation. He was just so angry with me all the time.
> 
> So this past weekend I did not see or talk to my husband at all. Since we got together I have never gone a whole day without seeing him up until this last weekend. And it took everything out of me to not call or not text. But we also own a business together so that meant I had to see him at the office today.
> 
> So I was so nervous how it was going to go all weekend. Got to the office and he made the first move he said good morning and asked how I was. But then we started talking and it got a little heated, but later on in the day we were able to sit and have a better conversation that I think ended well.
> 
> So today we had the first conversation in forever that wasn’t filled with anger about the past mistakes we both had made. But he still feels like he wants a divorce. He says he isn’t happy with me anymore.
> 
> I want to work on getting our happy back? Anyone have any suggestions?


What did you do to break his trust?
Cheating doesn’t have to be physical,emotional cheating is just as bad.


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## BarbedFenceRider

You need to look up negative cycle. You two are at an impasse. As for your well being, you need to expand on why you bombed your husband's trust. And you need to have true remorse for him to feel validated in this. 

How would it feel if HE did this to you? And what would your response be if you found out? Empathize with him. Not about him.

How long has the relationship been? Total years together....

Can you list 5 things you two did together that just brings a smile to your face? And can you list 5 things that you notice with your husband that is endearing or attractive?

Maybe you can write these down and start by having HIM write his down as well. Then share. Maybe the chasm isn't so far and wide....

Best of luck.


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## TJW

Babyeskimo said:


> I made a decision (that I wish I could take back) that broke my husbands trust.
> But he still feels like he wants a divorce. He says he isn’t happy with me anymore.
> I want to work on getting our happy back? Anyone have any suggestions?


Yes. You will have to regain your husband's trust. No trust....no happy.....

There is no way to "take back" something in the past. It remains in the minds of the involved people forever.
The involved people can, in time, forgive, but they cannot forget.

That memory of your decision will only be overcome by a long continuum of acts which consider his viewpoint, his well-being, his perspectives of what is right for him and for your family.

This will take time. Maybe a couple of years.

You will also have to show him that you not only repent of the selfish action, you have "done the work" that brings about a change in your nature, and because of your new nature, you will not be inclined to make unilateral decisions which have this kind of impact upon him and your marriage.


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## WorkingOnMe

It takes two to fight or argue. You sound stubborn. You can’t just let him win?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Diana7

IT may depend on how serious whatever you did was.


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## Married but Happy

If you seldom or never agree on things, then why do you want to continue the marriage? He seems to want out, and it will be very, very difficult to regain his trust AND find ways to handle your different views in a mature manner that won't create ongoing resentment. Maybe you just married the wrong person? IMO, this may be a good opportunity to acknowledge a mistake, and end it.


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## Babyeskimo

Andy1001 said:


> What did you do to break his trust?
> Cheating doesn’t have to be physical,emotional cheating is just as bad.


Thank you for all the replies. It is nice to now that I am not alone in this even though sometimes I might feel alone. 

There was no cheating of any kind in our marriage, I am the one who takes care of the financials in our marriage and I made the decision to take something of value without his knowledge and try and sell it to get of our financial hardships. Well at least help us get out of our financial. But I got caught and since then we have been struggling in our marriage. 

My husband is not one that takes to stress well. And I have just adapted to shield him from as much financial stress as I can if possible. It is my fault for excluding him and not trusting that he would be able to help me figure out a solution to our issues rather then taking such a drastic route to fix it myself. 

Yesterday when we were talking for the first time since he left we both agreed to each other that we do not really know why we got married in the first place It was not something we had discussed prior it just happened. For me though I might not have started my marriage the "right way" I have grown to love him and truly see myself growing old with him. 

So right now we are finally at a point were we can talk and not get angry right away at each other. It is still hard to hold conversations and we really only talk at the office because right now he moved out to go to his parents house and I am still here at the house. 

But I am hopeful with some time apart he will realize that our marriage is worth fighting for and that we can be happy again. I have since then included in him in all financial decisions. I still struggle sometimes to remember to tell him every move I make financially, but I am trying and I think he sees that. I just think it needs time.


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## Babyeskimo

BarbedFenceRider said:


> You need to look up negative cycle. You two are at an impasse. As for your well being, you need to expand on why you bombed your husband's trust. And you need to have true remorse for him to feel validated in this.
> 
> How would it feel if HE did this to you? And what would your response be if you found out? Empathize with him. Not about him.
> 
> How long has the relationship been? Total years together....
> 
> Can you list 5 things you two did together that just brings a smile to your face? And can you list 5 things that you notice with your husband that is endearing or attractive?
> 
> Maybe you can write these down and start by having HIM write his down as well. Then share. Maybe the chasm isn't so far and wide....
> 
> Best of luck.




Thank you for the advice. It is definitely something I am going to try. 

It really took me until I would say yesterday evening to this morning to realize that I have said I was sorry to him a million times, but sometimes words are enough. And I need to stop thinking about me and what it makes me feel like and start thinking about how it makes him feel, I like to tell myself that all I think about is him when I am doing something, but the truth is I am really only thinking about me because I don't like his reaction to stress so I just try to make it avoidable as much as possible because it is not something I want to deal with. I need to let him have his own emotions and feelings towards things and let him come to terms with it and just not be afraid of his reaction because that is how it is now. I don't like how he reacts so I make it so there is nothing to react to. 

And that is wrong.


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## Babyeskimo

TJW said:


> Yes. You will have to regain your husband's trust. No trust....no happy.....
> 
> There is no way to "take back" something in the past. It remains in the minds of the involved people forever.
> The involved people can, in time, forgive, but they cannot forget.
> 
> That memory of your decision will only be overcome by a long continuum of acts which consider his viewpoint, his well-being, his perspectives of what is right for him and for your family.
> 
> This will take time. Maybe a couple of years.
> 
> You will also have to show him that you not only repent of the selfish action, you have "done the work" that brings about a change in your nature, and because of your new nature, you will not be inclined to make unilateral decisions which have this kind of impact upon him and your marriage.



I know that there is no way for me to "take back" what was done. But since this all started I have been playing the chasing game. Trying to convince him of this and that from what I see. I decided yesterday afternoon after I saw him that I was going to focus on me. Make me happy again, and hope that radiates to him. I am truly working in trying to be a better person I really am and its hard because I am stuck in my ways, but I want to grow and I am just hoping he doesn't give up on our marriage during this process of each of us finding ourselves again and hopefully finding each other again.


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## Babyeskimo

WorkingOnMe said:


> It takes two to fight or argue. You sound stubborn. You can’t just let him win?
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk



Up until yesterday afternoon I was still trying to push my way. I decided after we left work that I was done doing that. That starting today I was going to keep it cool and professional at work and let him come up to me when he is ready to talk about our personal problems. I am going to take this time to work on me. There is a lot of things that I still need to work on as well and after our talk yesterday he has also realized that he has stuff he needs to work on for himself. 

So hopefully this time apart will help make us better people so we can truly start to work on our relationship. 

But me being pushy isn't helping. I need to let him come to terms with it on his own. I need to stop trying to explain myself. Keep my conversations short and simple and let time and destiny do the rest.


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## Babyeskimo

Diana7 said:


> IT may depend on how serious whatever you did was.



We are struggling financially because we own our own business. And so if we don't have any new products to release we don't have income and we have been struggling for months and I was to scared or maybe to ashamed to admit to him that we were I this big of trouble so I made the decision to take something of value and try and sell it to help us out. 

But I got caught. I never sold it, but me taking it and attempting to even think about selling it broke his trust. 

Granted this is not the only issue in our marriage, but it was the breaking factor. 

Do you think a marriage can recover from something like this, of course it is going to take a lot of trust and work but I am truly willing to make the effort but right now he just isn't. 

Anything I can do to change his views or try and show him we can go to be better people together and make an even better marriage for ourselves in the future.


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## personofinterest

You can't change him. But you can change you.

And focusing on your happiness is not the kind of focus on you I am talking about.

What you DO is be completely transparent. Be honest with him about everything. Do not try to "convince" him to work it out. SHOW him you are trustworthy. I'd start by opening up ALL the financial stuff and letting him see it ALL. Problem solve together.

Working on you does not mean making yourself happy and hoping it rubs off - that is STILL selfishness. Working on you means living a life of complete transparency and empathy and giving HIM the time he needs.


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## MZMEE

Ok so he is THAT angry and ready for divorce for that ONE mistake. I feel like there is more to his anger than just that one thing you did. Nobody asks somebody for divorce and holds something like that over someone's head without there being greater issues. Have you tried professional counseling? I think you are trying to resolve this yourselves but you both are too emotional to do it alone. You need someone in the middle. There appears to be long term anger issues with him. Why so much fighting? That is not healthy.

If he is constantly saying he wants a divorce, you need to identify if it is REALLY a divorce he wants or if he's just trying to run away from stress. Sounds like when things get stressful, he is ready to run. He has a lot of built up anger and frustration so saying he wants a divorce appears to be just his way of escaping the financial stresses.

I really, really think you have to see a professional counselor to help mend your marriage. Clearly you can't do it alone. Good luck.


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## BarbedFenceRider

What was it you were trying to sell...Body parts or children?

Please say it wasn't a set of golf clubs or anything trivial as that!


And yes, the trust thing took a hit obviously, but yeah, if he looks into the heart of hearts, there should be room to wiggle. But yes, you need to be transparent to him and be honest with the business.

Guess what, running a family business together is hard work. Not hard play. And it takes cool, calm resourced effort to make it a success. Also, two heads are better than one...While your decision to sell things speaks of desperation, I do not view it as malicious....

Counselling for you two can probably help "clear the air". And probably you need to retain a financial adviser and counselor for the business. Maybe a fresh pair of eyes can alleviate some of the business woes.

Ultimately, you two need to get to a point with just talking and having positive time together....Not accusing or attacking each other while stressing over the business. It just ain't worth it.


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## TJW

Babyeskimo said:


> Do you think a marriage can recover from something like this,


Something like this ? I absolutely do think a marriage can recover from what will seem like, in years to come, only a distant memory.

But something like this :



Babyeskimo said:


> we do not really know why we got married in the first place _*It was not something we had discussed prior*_ it just happened.


WOW. No wonder there are trust issues. It was clearly not the "right way". You two need to break everything down, and first decide whether, or not, you actually WANT to marry each other, and discuss the ramifications of your marriage. And, _"it just happened"_ is not correct. There is a set of reasons why you got married, and a set of reasons why he got married. Those need to be placed "on the table". There is a set of expectations you have for marriage, and a set of expectations he has for marriage. Those also need to be "on the table".



Babyeskimo said:


> I still struggle sometimes to remember to tell him every move I make financially


Until you get to the "place" where there is NO STRUGGLE, you two are going to have a very hard time. You may want to seek into yourself to find out why you are _controlling_. Fear is usually at the bottom of it.

You cannot "shield" him from stress. He will have to "own" his stress, and you will have to "own" yours.


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## As'laDain

Im really curious as to what this "something of value" is...


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## Diana7

What was it that you tried to sell? Was it something that he valued? Why didn't you talk to him about it first?


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## Babyeskimo

personofinterest said:


> You can't change him. But you can change you.
> 
> And focusing on your happiness is not the kind of focus on you I am talking about.
> 
> What you DO is be completely transparent. Be honest with him about everything. Do not try to "convince" him to work it out. SHOW him you are trustworthy. I'd start by opening up ALL the financial stuff and letting him see it ALL. Problem solve together.
> 
> Working on you does not mean making yourself happy and hoping it rubs off - that is STILL selfishness. Working on you means living a life of complete transparency and empathy and giving HIM the time he needs.


He has always had access to all of our financials he just never cared to look at them. Nothing is hidden from him. But since it happened I have made sure to include him even if it annoys him on every single financial transaction. 

It is giving him the time that I am struggling with. I am hating that he is living at his parents house currently. It drives me insane. But i know it is not about me. So I am just working on dealing with it.


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## Babyeskimo

MZMEE said:


> Ok so he is THAT angry and ready for divorce for that ONE mistake. I feel like there is more to his anger than just that one thing you did. Nobody asks somebody for divorce and holds something like that over someone's head without there being greater issues. Have you tried professional counseling? I think you are trying to resolve this yourselves but you both are too emotional to do it alone. You need someone in the middle. There appears to be long term anger issues with him. Why so much fighting? That is not healthy.
> 
> If he is constantly saying he wants a divorce, you need to identify if it is REALLY a divorce he wants or if he's just trying to run away from stress. Sounds like when things get stressful, he is ready to run. He has a lot of built up anger and frustration so saying he wants a divorce appears to be just his way of escaping the financial stresses.
> 
> I really, really think you have to see a professional counselor to help mend your marriage. Clearly you can't do it alone. Good luck.


We tried one session with a therapist and he hated it. He told me that over this past weekend he talked to one of his friends who is a therapist and found out a lot about himself and the issues we are facing. So I guess there is hope. But he does not deal with stress well. And of course there are many things that led up to this divorce. This one mistake was just the tipping point. My husband is a mommy's boy and she did everything for him until we got married and when we got married I went to taking care of everything for him. He is angry no one lets him take care of anything himself. He wants to do things on his own for the first time. He thinks he is currently doing things on his own, by living at his parents house. But I feel he really isn't. He just went from living in our house where i do everything to his parents house where they do everything. But the time apart so far as seemed to prove that he can let go of the anger and forgive me as he says. But he still isn't at the point where he thinks our marriage will ever work again. He says he is not sure we can ever really be happy together again. 

So I don't know what else to do. I am giving his space and only talking to him at the office if I need to. But I don't know how to even start showing him we can be happy again.


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## Babyeskimo

BarbedFenceRider said:


> What was it you were trying to sell...Body parts or children?
> 
> Please say it wasn't a set of golf clubs or anything trivial as that!
> 
> 
> And yes, the trust thing took a hit obviously, but yeah, if he looks into the heart of hearts, there should be room to wiggle. But yes, you need to be transparent to him and be honest with the business.
> 
> Guess what, running a family business together is hard work. Not hard play. And it takes cool, calm resourced effort to make it a success. Also, two heads are better than one...While your decision to sell things speaks of desperation, I do not view it as malicious....
> 
> Counselling for you two can probably help "clear the air". And probably you need to retain a financial adviser and counselor for the business. Maybe a fresh pair of eyes can alleviate some of the business woes.
> 
> Ultimately, you two need to get to a point with just talking and having positive time together....Not accusing or attacking each other while stressing over the business. It just ain't worth it.



How did you know my husband loves to GOLF lol. He lives for golf. But it was a watch. 

I was desperate and I don't think I ever told him so I will make note to tell him the next time it comes up, but it does not make it right. I am as transparent as I can be. Sometimes I think I am being transparent enough for him and then him or i realize that I forgot something. And the truth is I do so much sometimes I forget I do this or that until it is brought to my attention. But when one of those things comes up I simply tell him that I am sorry I forgot about that it was a honest mistake and in the future I will make note to include you on that. He seems to understand most of the time. Sometimes it rubs him the wrong way. But I am an open book and trying to be as transparent about everything I possibly can. 

Do you have any suggestions of things we can do for positive time together?


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## Babyeskimo

TJW said:


> Something like this ? I absolutely do think a marriage can recover from what will seem like, in years to come, only a distant memory.
> 
> But something like this :
> 
> 
> 
> WOW. No wonder there are trust issues. It was clearly not the "right way". You two need to break everything down, and first decide whether, or not, you actually WANT to marry each other, and discuss the ramifications of your marriage. And, _"it just happened"_ is not correct. There is a set of reasons why you got married, and a set of reasons why he got married. Those need to be placed "on the table". There is a set of expectations you have for marriage, and a set of expectations he has for marriage. Those also need to be "on the table".
> 
> 
> 
> Until you get to the "place" where there is NO STRUGGLE, you two are going to have a very hard time. You may want to seek into yourself to find out why you are _controlling_. Fear is usually at the bottom of it.
> 
> You cannot "shield" him from stress. He will have to "own" his stress, and you will have to "own" yours.


I think my fear of having to control everything is definitely from my past. I was "raped" multiple times when I was a child by two different family members and friends and on top of that my parents marriage was super dysfunctional. So a healthy marriage is not something i grew up with. 

But we both said that there was someone willing to marry us so why not get married. So we got married. I still want to be married to him because I have fallen in love with him and know that this is just a rough patch in our lives, but with an open heart we can get through this. 

We have gotten through so much already together that in ten years this won't be anything but another story, but I just need to get him to realize we can we happy again and get to the point were this just becomes another story for the books.


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## Babyeskimo

As'laDain said:


> Im really curious as to what this "something of value" is...


A watch


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## Babyeskimo

Diana7 said:


> What was it that you tried to sell? Was it something that he valued? Why didn't you talk to him about it first?


It was a watch and yes I guess he values it, but it was more of the fact that I didn't take the time to talk to him about it and just made the decision on my own that I think he is mad at. 

I have just always made the hard choices financially in our marriage because he doesn't deal with stress well, so I just shield him from it instead of just trusting that he will be okay and help me through it. 

So trust is something we both to work on. Because I have just been hurt so many times before in the past by men especially so I think I just have a hard time letting go of control and allowing him to truly be there for me because I am afraid to get hurt. But my fear of getting hurt actually hurt my husband. And I am working on learning to trust him truly because to be honest it is not something I ever did our whole marriage. If I want my marriage to work I have to trust that he is going be there and take care of me. 

That is still a work in progress on my side, but I am under no impression that it is only him who has things to work on, but I have a lot to work on as well.


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## 3Xnocharm

Babyeskimo said:


> We tried one session with a therapist and he hated it. He told me that over this past weekend he talked to one of his friends who is a therapist and found out a lot about himself and the issues we are facing. So I guess there is hope. But he does not deal with stress well. And of course there are many things that led up to this divorce. This one mistake was just the tipping point.* My husband is a mommy's boy and she did everything for him until we got married and when we got married I went to taking care of everything for him. He is angry no one lets him take care of anything himself. He wants to do things on his own for the first time. He thinks he is currently doing things on his own, by living at his parents house. But I feel he really isn't. He just went from living in our house where i do everything to his parents house where they do everything. *But the time apart so far as seemed to prove that he can let go of the anger and forgive me as he says. But he still isn't at the point where he thinks our marriage will ever work again. He says he is not sure we can ever really be happy together again.
> 
> So I don't know what else to do. I am giving his space and only talking to him at the office if I need to. But I don't know how to even start showing him we can be happy again.


This bolded part is a very important issue. Why in the world are you doing everything for him? Because he cant handle stress? That's pathetic. You deal anyway because that's what grownups do. You MUST stop perpetuating his momma's boy existence and have some expectations of him. Like he LEARNS how to handle his stress. Does he have temper tantrums from stress? What happens to him? You cant spend your life tippy toeing around him. His anger over you trying to sell the watch proves he is a petulant child. Most adults would probably get upset, but then look at the situation that brought that on... what had happened bad enough that made you decide you needed to sell this thing? 

Do you really want to babysit a grown man forever? He needs therapy.


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## BluesPower

3Xnocharm said:


> This bolded part is a very important issue. Why in the world are you doing everything for him? Because he cant handle stress? That's pathetic. You deal anyway because that's what grownups do. You MUST stop perpetuating his momma's boy existence and have some expectations of him. Like he LEARNS how to handle his stress. Does he have temper tantrums from stress? What happens to him? You cant spend your life tippy toeing around him. His anger over you trying to sell the watch proves he is a petulant child. Most adults would probably get upset, but then look at the situation that brought that on... what had happened bad enough that made you decide you needed to sell this thing?
> 
> Do you really want to babysit a grown man forever? He needs therapy.


My GF was married to a Momma's boy. He hid it until after they married. She HATED HIM. 

As soon as they married he expected her to be his mother. She had 2 kids and their new baby for Christ sakes. 

She divorced him like 6 months later...


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## Evinrude58

He moved out to momma because of a WATCH? 

You have to realize that he was wanting to move out anyway. The watch was just a "good" excuse...


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## Bananapeel

There has to be more to his side of the story that either you aren't sharing or you don't know. His getting this upset just doesn't make any sense. Was the watch very special to him (e.g. a family heirloom or something irreplaceable)? 

As far as what you can do, well here's my advice. Update your wardrobe, work out and get into amazing shape, and start having a life without him. It's called the 180 and it works wonders. He'll either decide he wants to be with you or you'll both realize it's a lost cause but at least you'll be a step ahead in your healing if he ends up filing for divorce.


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## Evinrude58

Bananapeel said:


> There has to be more to his side of the story that either you aren't sharing or you don't know. His getting this upset just doesn't make any sense. Was the watch very special to him (e.g. a family heirloom or something irreplaceable)?
> 
> *As far as what you can do, well here's my advice. Update your wardrobe, work out and get into amazing shape, and start having a life without him. It's called the 180 and it works wonders. He'll either decide he wants to be with you or you'll both realize it's a lost cause but at least you'll be a step ahead in your healing if he ends up filing for divorce.*


Yep, the pick me dance doesn't work regardless the situation. As long as he thinks he can treat you this way and have you begging for more, he is secure and has no reason to change. What is bad is that he doesn't want to live with you. If that's the case, you're far better off doing a 180 and moving on. You love him? Well, that's pretty wasted on a guy that doesn't love you back. Loving someone that doesn't love you back is a situation that results in getting used, abused, put aside, and betrayed. It's a recipe for disaster. Don't ask me how I know.


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## Babyeskimo

3Xnocharm said:


> This bolded part is a very important issue. Why in the world are you doing everything for him? Because he cant handle stress? That's pathetic. You deal anyway because that's what grownups do. You MUST stop perpetuating his momma's boy existence and have some expectations of him. Like he LEARNS how to handle his stress. Does he have temper tantrums from stress? What happens to him? You cant spend your life tippy toeing around him. His anger over you trying to sell the watch proves he is a petulant child. Most adults would probably get upset, but then look at the situation that brought that on... what had happened bad enough that made you decide you needed to sell this thing?
> 
> Do you really want to babysit a grown man forever? He needs therapy.


He definitely throws bring tantrums and rages when he is stressed and he just takes it out on me. All the time his stress and anger are taken out on me. I believe it is because his whole life someone has taken care of everything for him so when he finally has something that he needs to take care of that stresses him out he doesn't know how to cope. Yes I know I played a part in creating his life the way that it is. Since I realized it I have been working to hold him more accountable for things and not just doing everything on my own. I let him see its not always all rainbows and sunshine. But even know he is acting like a child. In my opinion. But that is just my opinion. I think running home to mommy and daddy when you are fighting with your wife is childish. They pack him a lunch and everything. 

We run our own business and haven't produced a new project in months so we when we don't have new items to sell we don't make money so we were living on savings. But he refused to change and maybe me too didn't want to change our lifestyle to accommodate our current financial situation. So I needed to make rent that month and felt I had to do what I needed to do to pay rent on the house we are living in. To me a roof over our heads was more important then a watch. 

But I do understand how he got hurt by what I did. I didn't trust that he would take the pressure and stress about the situation so I took it into my own hands and hurt him. I broke his trust.


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## Babyeskimo

BluesPower said:


> My GF was married to a Momma's boy. He hid it until after they married. She HATED HIM.
> 
> As soon as they married he expected her to be his mother. She had 2 kids and their new baby for Christ sakes.
> 
> She divorced him like 6 months later...



It is true. When we first got married it use to be mom did this or that for me. And it is just my fault for falling into it, but I was newly married and wanted to please my husband. I ended up creating an even bigger mommy's boy. 

Sometimes when I get fed up I tell him you don't want a wife you want a mother or a maid. Someone who takes care of you. Well what about me. Sometimes I need someone to be there for me. 

But I completely get it.


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## Babyeskimo

Evinrude58 said:


> He moved out to momma because of a WATCH?
> 
> You have to realize that he was wanting to move out anyway. The watch was just a "good" excuse...


I am sure it wasn't just a sudden thing and like I stated earlier that the watch was just the tipping point.


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## As'laDain

Babyeskimo said:


> A watch


Ok. Unless it had some crazy sentimental value(family heirloom kinda thing), i cant see a watch being worth ending a marriage for. 

As for me personally, there is not a single item i would not be willing to give up for my wife. 

It sounds like that is just the latest thing he has decided to use to fuel his resentment and justify his decisions. That said, i CAN understand him resenting the fact that you went behind his back for it. 

You may be on to something about him feeling like he has not been allowed to handle his own life though. I think he is going about it in a terribly immature way, but you are probably right about that...


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## Babyeskimo

Bananapeel said:


> There has to be more to his side of the story that either you aren't sharing or you don't know. His getting this upset just doesn't make any sense. Was the watch very special to him (e.g. a family heirloom or something irreplaceable)?
> 
> As far as what you can do, well here's my advice. Update your wardrobe, work out and get into amazing shape, and start having a life without him. It's called the 180 and it works wonders. He'll either decide he wants to be with you or you'll both realize it's a lost cause but at least you'll be a step ahead in your healing if he ends up filing for divorce.



I get why is got upset and feels like I betrayed his trust. I truly do. I truly felt I couldn't trust that he would be able to take the pressure and stress of dealing with our financial issues. So I made the decision myself which was very selfish of me. I should have trusted that my husband was strong enough to handle the pressure and stress, but I treated him a like a baby. I sheltered him our whole marriage. That is my fault. 

The watch is a watch he could still buy to this day at a store. I truly do not believe that it was the watch itself, more of principle. 

You know what is really funny is that after yesterdays conversation with him I realized you know what I am done trying to convince if our marriage is worth fighting for. I am just pushing him further and further away. So yesterday I hired myself a trainer (a friend of mine) and am going to get back into shape. Because I am sure many of you understand when you get married we don't always take care of ourselves body wise. And today I came to work all dressed up with makeup and everything. And normally I don't. I wear comfy clothes. Today I even put on heels. So I am doing me. If he wants to jump on the band wagon great! Come on. 

But right now me pushing to make him see my way is just pushing him further and further away. So I am giving him the space he wants and not pushing him to realize anything. 

I told him with you moving out that we agreed to work on the marriage and I get that you might not be ready right now, but when you are let me know. 

So right now I am focusing on me and getting back into shape and hoping that the rest of the cards just lay itself out the way they are suppose.


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## Babyeskimo

Evinrude58 said:


> Yep, the pick me dance doesn't work regardless the situation. As long as he thinks he can treat you this way and have you begging for more, he is secure and has no reason to change. What is bad is that he doesn't want to live with you. If that's the case, you're far better off doing a 180 and moving on. You love him? Well, that's pretty wasted on a guy that doesn't love you back. Loving someone that doesn't love you back is a situation that results in getting used, abused, put aside, and betrayed. It's a recipe for disaster. Don't ask me how I know.


A lot of my friends have told me the same thing. Why are you fighting so hard to make your marriage work if he doesn't care to make it work with you. Do you really want to be with someone who doesn't want to put the effort into your marriage and is just willing to throw it away?

I don't really know why I still love him because how could I love someone who was so easily willing to walk away from me and our marriage like it was nothing. But I love him. I truly do and I truly still want to try and make my marriage work, but I need him to do that. I need him to step up and realize that we can over come this, but he needs to do it on his own terms in his own time. 

Sounds like you went through this before. I'm sorry no one deserved this.


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## sokillme

As'laDain said:


> Ok. Unless it had some crazy sentimental value(family heirloom kinda thing), i cant see a watch being worth ending a marriage for.
> 
> As for me personally, there is not a single item i would not be willing to give up for my wife.
> 
> It sounds like that is just the latest thing he has decided to use to fuel his resentment and justify his decisions. That said, i CAN understand him resenting the fact that you went behind his back for it.
> 
> You may be on to something about him feeling like he has not been allowed to handle his own life though. I think he is going about it in a terribly immature way, but you are probably right about that...


The item is not the issue, it's that she unilaterally decided to sell it without telling him. You don't see this as a serious breach of the marriage contract? It's really no different then if she was to put them in large dept with out telling him. This is what is called financial infidelity. In my mind he is well within his rights to feel betrayed. After all they are supposed to be financially one when they get married. In a sense you could say she stole from him. 

I suspect this is more then just one issue though, no one just does this on a whim, I bet there is a pattern to this kind of behavior and this is just the icing on the proverbial cake. It's interesting that OP went to great pains to not even discuss what she did in her first post. Minimizing it completely. They definitely have issues. 

She is not the victim here even she doesn't even thing she is.


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## Babyeskimo

As'laDain said:


> Ok. Unless it had some crazy sentimental value(family heirloom kinda thing), i cant see a watch being worth ending a marriage for.
> 
> As for me personally, there is not a single item i would not be willing to give up for my wife.
> 
> It sounds like that is just the latest thing he has decided to use to fuel his resentment and justify his decisions. That said, i CAN understand him resenting the fact that you went behind his back for it.
> 
> You may be on to something about him feeling like he has not been allowed to handle his own life though. I think he is going about it in a terribly immature way, but you are probably right about that...



I told him everyone makes mistakes. But I think I deserve a second chance. I know I will have to regain your trust and that it is going to be hard, but I am willing to put in the work. That I get that you want me to be a independent man now. But you can still be an independent man who is married. We can both be independent with each other, lots of couples do it. 

But he says right now he can't ever see himself being happy with me again. And I don't know what to do about that


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## Babyeskimo

sokillme said:


> The item is not the issue, it's that she unilaterally decided to sell it without telling him. You don't see this as a serious breach of the marriage contract? It's really no different then if she was to put them in large dept with out telling him. This is what is called financial infidelity. In my mind he is well within his rights to feel betrayed. After all they are supposed to be financially one when they get married. In a sense you could say she stole from him.
> 
> I suspect this is more then just one issue though, no one just does this on a whim, I bet there is a pattern to this kind of behavior and this is just the icing on the proverbial cake. It's interesting that OP went to great pains to not even discuss what she did in her first post. Minimizing it completely.
> 
> She is not the victim here even she doesn't even thing she is.


I in no means think I am the victim. I am not trying to justify my actions at all. I know it wasn't the watch it was the betrayal.


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## RoseAglow

OMG. Please, @babyEsikimo, you were trying to solve a problem that your H has shown zero ability to handle, let alone resolve. The only thing you did wrong here was marry a baby instead of a grown up.

**** your husband and anyone else, trying to make you feel guilty or as if you betrayed him. 

You did not betray him. You tried to take care of business. Selling off stock or family treasures would be one thing, but a watch that is not an heirloom or have sentimental value? This is not financial infidelity. 

Listen, your H could have, at any point in time, decided to face the financials. You may have enabled him to be weak but it has been his decision all along. He is not a 5 year who couldn't figure it out. 

I'm not saying here that he is 100% wrong and that you are 100% innocent; we all seek our own level. You probably feel better having more control and he probably felt better having someone else be in control, at least initially, or you both wouldn't have lasted together more than a few months or a year or so. 

But IMO you should not beat yourself up. You did the best you could. You obviously quite accurately have pegged your H as someone who doesn't make good decision under stress. You both can decide to do it differently from here on out but he should also understand that his unwillingness/inability to handle things contributed to your decision.


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## sunsetmist

First, the FOO from which y'all come are totally opposite as are the dynamics you have developed to cope.

Second, Hope you have had serious therapy regarding your CSA. If not, start now.

Third, I sense you have been walking on eggshells mostly throughout the marriage. How old are you both? Why did you 'settle' for each other--poor start to a marriage.

Fourth, As others have stated, life is stressful. He can't make up his mind whether he wants to be an adult and deal, or still be a child for whom others take the tough blows.

Fifth, Does he always run (poor compromise choice) when the going gets tough? It is, of course, not about the watch.

Sixth, To me you have 'trickle-truthed' the necessary info for us to discuss. If you do this in everyday life, it can be really frustrating and is a way to control.


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## sokillme

double post weirdness.


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## sokillme

Babyeskimo said:


> I in no means think I am the victim. I am not trying to justify my actions at all. I know it wasn't the watch it was the betrayal.


This post highlights how not having all of the facts leads to ineffective advice. As it stands I am forced to give advice from conjecture, and others are projecting advice from a very shallow description of what is going on. 

From what you have said it seems the watch is probably not a big deal, but your need to have control might be. Do you often make decisions unilaterally or without discussing them with him? Do you at times of stress or conflict act hastily or say stuff that you later regret? If you do is your need for control or fear the reason? What is this big trouble that you would be in that selling a watch would fix? I guess I am not getting it, how much was the watch worth? If it was in the thousands of dollars then it makes sense that he is annoyed. A watch worth that much money is no small matter. Still being thousands of dollars in dept can be very stressful this makes sense to me you were worried, though it's still wrong to do. Then again maybe he felt like you could pay it off over time but your stress at being in dept made you decide to just steal the watch and sell it without telling him. He is not necessarily wrong to want to pay it back over time if this was the case. 

If it was in the hundreds then I am not sure why with a couple of hundreds of dollars dept you couldn't just put it on a credit card and pay it off over time, and not have to sell the watch. This is why I get the sense that this is more then just about a watch. Maybe it is about your fear and acting on them without telling him. Again when you say trouble what do you mean. Maybe what you consider trouble he considers to be a few hundred dollars in dept and not worth just taking his watch and selling it. Maybe you were about to miss a payment on your credit cards and you didn't want to do that. Again makes sense but stealing the watch doesn't really solve that in the long run. I mean there are plenty of people who are more then a few hundreds of dollars in credit card dept in this world. Not saying it's a good thing but it also not usual. Having to steal a watch to pay it off seems to be kind of drastic. 

Again very hard to say without a full accounting.

Is this just an issue of you guys have different values when it comes to dept and spending? If this is the case then you need to work on that, I wonder how you have tried to do that, has there been knock down drag out fights over it? I question this because the watch thing seems kind of extreme. I mean in my mind you don't have to have the exact same philosophy on dept and spending to still have a good marriage, but you have to find a happy median. Did you try to do this? I guess the bigger thing I am getting at as I think this is not just about the watch. I suspect this has been an issue in your marriage far longer and this is just the breaking point. Do you tend to overrule him when you don't get your way? I suspect if he came on here he would be giving us more information then we are getting. I bet the story would change because as it stands now by your description it doesn't really make logical sense. There is more to this story. 

By the way I am not even saying he is wrong or isn't contributing to the problem. The overall problem seems to be the inability of both of you to find a way to compromise and work as a team. This is really paramount when it comes to this stuff, but again who is to say. 

Have you considered marriage counseling? Maybe he is just done and doesn't want to be married. Maybe you guys just don't work as a married couple. I get the sense you kind of think that from your post. You talk about marring too fast and not really being in love with him. 

Overall how close am I to whats going on? Lets talk about your marriage dynamic and not this watch issue, what are the problems that lead up to it. What is the big issue that the watch was going to fix.


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## As'laDain

sokillme said:


> The item is not the issue, it's that she unilaterally decided to sell it without telling him. You don't see this as a serious breach of the marriage contract? It's really no different then if she was to put them in large dept with out telling him. This is what is called financial infidelity. In my mind he is well within his rights to feel betrayed. After all they are supposed to be financially one when they get married. In a sense you could say she stole from him.
> 
> I suspect this is more then just one issue though, no one just does this on a whim, I bet there is a pattern to this kind of behavior and this is just the icing on the proverbial cake. It's interesting that OP went to great pains to not even discuss what she did in her first post. Minimizing it completely. They definitely have issues.
> 
> She is not the victim here even she doesn't even thing she is.


Eh, my wife is bipolar. I go through these kinds of things as a matter of course. 

In other words, i am biased. My wife has done a LOT of things that other people would divorce over. But right now, she is wearing my favorite outfit, just because she knows i like it. And despite the fact that she is exhausted, she will enthusiastically entertain me tonight should i ask her to. That's just how she is with me. Ever willing, even if she is not feeling it in the moment. 

She has done far worse than TRY to sell something of value to me behind my back... 

I would give my left nut for the chance that my wife could stop suffering the medical issues she suffers from. Hell, i would give both nuts. **** it. Ill figure out how to be happy as a ball-less wonder. There is no way in hell i am stopping before i die. 

**** you life. I love you too damn much to ever give up. No offense.

But i agree with you. They definitely have issues. My own bias aside...

Its clear as day.


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## Adelais

Was the watch your watch or his watch? If it was your watch, then I don't believe you needed to tell him anything about it. If it was his watch, then I do believe you waaaaay overstepped and it was a betrayal. 

If the watch belongs to him, what would even make you _think[/] you could sell something that belonged to someone else just because you thought he wouldn't notice? If he noticed the watch missing, what would you have told him? That it must have gotten lost or stolen? One deception leads to another.

If I were him, I would be batting down the hatches, and not trusting you with any possessions or finances.

Where else have you been unfaithful when it comes to finances and possessions? That would be what I would be asking myself if I were your husband.

I would recommend that both of you read the book called "Love Busters" by Willard Harley.

Hopefully both of you will learn from this: You will learn to be open about everything that concerns him. He will learn to be responsible and make good choices when it comes to finances._


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## aine

Baby E,

Sound rather an extreme reaaction over a watch. How much value was it?

1. You should not have attempted to sell HIS items that is sneaky and most spouses would be very upset but not upset enough to want to divorce. There is such a thing as "financial infidelity."

2. Sounds like you do everything for him and in doing so probably control everything too, not good within a marriage
3. You and he both have problems, could do with some IC individually.

Why don't you leave the marriage aside, stop pestering him to make a decision on the divorce, etc, become a better person, learn how to stop interfering in SO life (just because you are married does not give you the right to step over personal boundaries)
On the other hand, your H needs to grow up too.

How old are you both?

How long have you had the business?
If you divorce will you dissolve the business?


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## Openminded

Give him time and space to sort things out.


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## Bananapeel

Babyeskimo said:


> You know what is really funny is that after yesterdays conversation with him I realized you know what I am done trying to convince if our marriage is worth fighting for. I am just pushing him further and further away. So yesterday I hired myself a trainer (a friend of mine) and am going to get back into shape. Because I am sure many of you understand when you get married we don't always take care of ourselves body wise. And today I came to work all dressed up with makeup and everything. And normally I don't. I wear comfy clothes. Today I even put on heels. So I am doing me. If he wants to jump on the band wagon great! Come on.


That's a good first step! Keep up with it. I can tell you that as a man any woman that didn't put on makeup, wore "comfy" clothes around, and gained weight would negatively affect my overall satisfaction in the relationship. I'm not saying that this is the cause of your relationship problem, but I'd bet it is at least a small piece of it and something you can change that will also positively benefit the way you feel about yourself.


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## Babyeskimo

RoseAglow said:


> OMG. Please, @babyEsikimo, you were trying to solve a problem that your H has shown zero ability to handle, let alone resolve. The only thing you did wrong here was marry a baby instead of a grown up.
> 
> **** your husband and anyone else, trying to make you feel guilty or as if you betrayed him.
> 
> You did not betray him. You tried to take care of business. Selling off stock or family treasures would be one thing, but a watch that is not an heirloom or have sentimental value? This is not financial infidelity.
> 
> Listen, your H could have, at any point in time, decided to face the financials. You may have enabled him to be weak but it has been his decision all along. He is not a 5 year who couldn't figure it out.
> 
> I'm not saying here that he is 100% wrong and that you are 100% innocent; we all seek our own level. You probably feel better having more control and he probably felt better having someone else be in control, at least initially, or you both wouldn't have lasted together more than a few months or a year or so.
> 
> But IMO you should not beat yourself up. You did the best you could. You obviously quite accurately have pegged your H as someone who doesn't make good decision under stress. You both can decide to do it differently from here on out but he should also understand that his unwillingness/inability to handle things contributed to your decision.



I see both sides at this point in time. I see this side and I see his side. There is no one side that is ever going to be 100% correct. Both he and myself are entitled to feel how we feel about any situation even if that feeling isn't mutual. We got into another fight yesterday because I just keep reacting to him. And I need to stop that. I realized yesterday that even though I said I was moving on and trying to better myself the truth was that I was still focused on him subconsciously. Even now after all this I am still worried what is going to happen if I say this or I say that. So today I woke up and am determined to keep a smile on my face all day and be happy and think about myself. Because he clearly isn't thinking about me and I need to take of myself because no one else will. 

I know our marriage problems are not only this situation there is much more at the root of it. But I finally know it is not only him who is the problem. I am also a part of the problem. I do like to be in control it gives me a sense of security that I am needed. And yes I am sure he likes having someone take care of everything for him. Or at least he use to. Maybe now he doesn't. But even just yesterday I kept asking how after six years of marriage my husband could just have a change of heart. But maybe the truth is that we both just grew up and aren't the same people we were even a couple months ago. 

But I guess only time will tell at this point what our future holds. But I am finally focusing on me.


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## Babyeskimo

sunsetmist said:


> First, the FOO from which y'all come are totally opposite as are the dynamics you have developed to cope.
> 
> Second, Hope you have had serious therapy regarding your CSA. If not, start now.
> 
> Third, I sense you have been walking on eggshells mostly throughout the marriage. How old are you both? Why did you 'settle' for each other--poor start to a marriage.
> 
> Fourth, As others have stated, life is stressful. He can't make up his mind whether he wants to be an adult and deal, or still be a child for whom others take the tough blows.
> 
> Fifth, Does he always run (poor compromise choice) when the going gets tough? It is, of course, not about the watch.
> 
> Sixth, To me you have 'trickle-truthed' the necessary info for us to discuss. If you do this in everyday life, it can be really frustrating and is a way to control.



I have had some therapy, but it is still something I deal with. I will forever deal with it to be honest. It will always be a part of me past. I am 28 and he is 30. I can't honestly tell you what it was I was thinking when I got married. Other than here is a guy who I had only known since Oct. only really been dating since Jan and then we got married in May. It was fast and not at all what I ever imagined me getting married would be like. But it felt right at the time. For him he says he needed someone to marry him. I have never asked him to elaborate more on it. I just found out on Monday that he felt like that. I am not sure that I am "trickle-thurthing" anything. I put my story out there and anyone is more then welcome to ask me anything and I will be more than happy to answer truthfully. But of course there are two sides to every story. But I have told my story from my side here.


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## sunsetmist

Babyeskimo said:


> I have had some therapy, but it is still something I deal with. I will forever deal with it to be honest. It will always be a part of me past.
> 
> ---True, glad you are more survivor than victim.
> 
> I am 28 and he is 30. I can't honestly tell you what it was I was thinking when I got married. Other than here is a guy who I had only known since Oct. only really been dating since Jan and then we got married in May. It was fast and not at all what I ever imagined me getting married would be like. But it felt right at the time. *For him he says he needed someone to marry him. I have never asked him to elaborate more on it. I just found out on Monday that he felt like that. *
> 
> ----So this is where your next discussion begins. What an unusual statement. I can think of several reasons.




Is there any warmth, intimacy, connection? Do you like each other? What would your life be without him and vice versa? Thinking you may not get along well with his parents? Of course, his parents will not always be available for him.

We already know he has anger management issues. I can only ask: Sometimes folks who have the abuse history that you have also have an emotionally volatile personality and those around them have trouble relating. Would he say that this describes you?

Appreciate your efforts. Do you tell him that you appreciate him because he likely thrives on PRAISE? Glad you are focusing working on you!


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## Openminded

You fell in love after you married him but that might not be true for him. Now he has to decide what he wants. It's a recent situation so give him time to think.


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## FieryHairedLady

If he was just a bf, I would say: Send the big baby back to his mommy and daddy.

Your married though. And I believe firmly in working on a marriage and putting in the hard work. 

But he doesn't want to be married. 

And he doesn't want to put in the hard work.

And he left the home. 

???

How many times do you need to hear it before you start believing it?

I married a man (1st hubby) who never grew up.

I was always walking on eggshells around his anger and was always trying to "fix everything", so he wouldn't be stressed and get pissed off and get angry and violent.

Long story short my ex wanted a mommy, not a partner, expected me to fix everything, and when I couldn't, he got angry and violent and blamed me for everything, regretted marrying me. Told me our marriage was a joke. ANd that he regretted having all our kids. After they were already here...?

Eventually I wised up and left. 

You think he would of been happy that I left and released him from the burden?

Nope.

He was angry. And violent. 



He moved in with his daddy. Even with 2 incomes they still couldn't figure out how to get the bills paid. Wound up getting evicted, etc. 

You do you. Get counseling, get healthy. If he wants to work on the marriage, then great, you are all ears. What can you do as a couple to work on the marriage? 

But him leaving... that is working on a divorce.

What to do about the business?

Is it a good idea to dissolve it?

Money problems can exasperate even the best of marriages.


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## Bobby5000

FIRST, IT'S NOT A BIG F-ING DEAL WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE WATCH. Things happen, minor issues arise, sometime mistakes are mistake and someone says sorry. He has taken this to a crazy level indicating he is dysfunctional. 

Secondly you two apparently have a bad business that is sucking both of you dry. You should not be in business together, its too much time, too much involvement, its just crazy. Have one or both of you get out of the business and work- that's what will happen anyway with a divorce.


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## WorkingWife

Babyeskimo said:


> We run our own business and haven't produced a new project in months so we when we don't have new items to sell we don't make money so we were living on savings...


Having your own business may not be the best choice for someone who does not handle stress well. Is having the business important to him? I wonder if he'd be happier in general with a regular job.


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## shesgone

Im with alot of others here. Something isn't adding up with all of this. 

My first marriage was rushed. I got married because I "knocked her up" I spent 15 years of living hell every single day in a relationship that didn't make me happy. She was a lot like your H sounds. Was irresponsible with money and never wanted to talk about any financial problem at all, yet gets mad when I made a decision. That is no way to live. 
Noone has mentioned it yet, but could there be another woman lurking in the shadows? To move out and want divorce over a freaking watch is crazy. My ex wanted a divorce and moved out because I wouldn't pay for her to have a boob job. If he truly doesn't care about finances, there is NOTHING in the world that you can do to change it. I know, i spent 15 years trying. 

I still say there is more to this story. Not saying YOU are hiding anything, but maybe he is. What are your other disagreements about day to day? Is he gone out with "friends" all the time? Is he spending money uncontrollably? Does he pull his weight in the business and at home? 

I am no expert by any stretch, but I have seen these exact behaviors before and it never turns out good.


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## EleGirl

Babyeskimo said:


> We are struggling financially because we own our own business. And so if we don't have any new products to release we don't have income and we have been struggling for months and I was to scared or maybe to ashamed to admit to him that we were I this big of trouble so I made the decision to take something of value and try and sell it to help us out.
> 
> But I got caught. I never sold it, but me taking it and attempting to even think about selling it broke his trust.
> 
> Granted this is not the only issue in our marriage, but it was the breaking factor.
> 
> Do you think a marriage can recover from something like this, of course it is going to take a lot of trust and work but I am truly willing to make the effort but right now he just isn't.
> 
> Anything I can do to change his views or try and show him we can go to be better people together and make an even better marriage for ourselves in the future.


How did he catch you trying to sell the watch?

If you were going to sell the watch secretly, how did you plan to hide from him that it was sold, after you sold it?

Was he aware that you two had financial problems before he found out that you were planning to sell the item? Or did he find out about the problems when he found out about your plans. From what you have said, it sounds like you were keeping this secret from him and trying to solve the problem on your own without his input.

If he objects to you selling the watch to help you two get out of financial trouble, what is his solution to solve the problem?


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## vincent3

EleGirl said:


> How did he catch you trying to sell the watch?
> 
> If you were going to sell the watch secretly, how did you plan to hide from him that it was sold, after you sold it?
> 
> Was he aware that you two had financial problems before he found out that you were planning to sell the item? Or did he find out about the problems when he found out about your plans. From what you have said, it sounds like you were keeping this secret from him and trying to solve the problem on your own without his input.


I was wondering the same thing.

Since this watch has enough value to be worth selling to resolve a financial problem, it doesn't sound like just any watch. Is he into watches, or at least that watch? Are you sure that he could go to the store and get another one - the same model? Is it a limited edition or something that he wanted for a long time and struggled to buy? Some people might say that none of that should matter, and that he should be happy to see the watch sold if it'll solve the financial problem and make you happy. That the watch might have been a special model isn't the point. Having something that you value taken and sold behind your back tells you that you aren't respected enough to have input into your own effects. He was probably wondering when you'd tell his mother to ignore anything he says and to come to you for the correct interpretation.


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