# Man, but feeling like fart!!



## Epilepsy fighter (Mar 7, 2018)

We have been married for 15 years. I was 23 when got married, she was 24. I and my wife were super active in sexual relation for first 6 years. We were doing ever single day. Some time twice a day. The record is six a day! Then we went down to 3-4 times a week for next 3 years. Six years ago I was diagnosed with a rare type of epilepsy. Yet we were doing at least once a week for four years. Her and I was fine with it. 
I had a brain surger just an year go. After that I am able to do only once in a month. Not that it hurts physically, but I just don't feel like doing it. In the other hand, she is still on her peak! She wants it badly and tells me every single day. She is in depression now and go crazy on me! I am very much sure that this is the reason. Doctors said that I could be the result of my seizures medication or the surgery, or both. She does understand it but she craves sex. We are having lot more arguments than ever. She even told me that I am useless and no more a man! In order to say this she find other reasons like not working and not helping at home, which I do. But I know why she is saying it. 
My physical condition and my memory don't allow me to work, after surgery. 
Can someone tell me if this is my fault of her's. What could be the solution? We still have love but when arguments happen, it's crazy! Now from past one year she talk a lot about her male colleague. I know she tries to make me feel jealous.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

I guessing, mind you this is only speculation on my part, but if this was reversed and she was the one with the this debilitating condition, she would have called you "selfish" and everyone of her friends would hate you for it, but you got to suck it up.


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## Keke24 (Sep 2, 2016)

Epilepsy fighter said:


> We have been married for 15 years. I was 23 when got married, she was 24. I and my wife were super active in sexual relation for first 6 years. We were doing ever single day. Some time twice a day. The record is six a day! Then we went down to 3-4 times a week for next 3 years. Six years ago I was diagnosed with a rare type of epilepsy. Yet we were doing at least once a week for four years. Her and I was fine with it.
> 
> I had a brain surger just an year go. After that I am able to do only once in a month. Not that it hurts physically, but I just don't feel like doing it. In the other hand, she is still on her peak! She wants it badly and tells me every single day. She is in depression now and go crazy on me! I am very much sure that this is the reason. Doctors said that I could be the result of my seizures medication or the surgery, or both. She does understand it but she craves sex. We are having lot more arguments than ever. She even told me that I am useless and no more a man! In order to say this she find other reasons like not working and not helping at home, which I do. But I know why she is saying it. My physical condition and my memory don't allow me to work, after surgery.
> 
> *Can someone tell me if this is my fault of her's.* What could be the solution? We still have love but when arguments happen, it's crazy! Now from past one year she talk a lot about her male colleague. I know she tries to make me feel jealous.


Why does this situation have to be someone's fault? How would assigning blame help here?

1. "I just don't feel like doing it", is not good enough. You can clearly see your wife/marriage is crumbling before your eyes as a result of a lack of sex, what exactly are you doing to address the lack of sex? Is it really too much to ask that you indulge your wife sexually 1/week? There are so many other things you could do to satisfy her sexually besides PIV. 

2. Your wife is wrong for berating you. You know what is driving her to say these things, stand up to her and have a heart to heart about it. Don't just ignore the situation and expect things to go away. Sit with her and work out a solution that will work for both of you. You guys have been married for 15 years, surely by now you two must have learned how to compromise.


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## Tatsuhiko (Jun 21, 2016)

Why can't you just make yourself accommodate her needs? I don't like cleaning the gutters, but I do it to keep my house in good condition.


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## dragonlady2314 (Feb 26, 2018)

Epilepsy fighter said:


> We have been married for 15 years. I was 23 when got married, she was 24. I and my wife were super active in sexual relation for first 6 years. We were doing ever single day. Some time twice a day. The record is six a day! Then we went down to 3-4 times a week for next 3 years. Six years ago I was diagnosed with a rare type of epilepsy. Yet we were doing at least once a week for four years. Her and I was fine with it.
> I had a brain surger just an year go. After that I am able to do only once in a month. Not that it hurts physically, but I just don't feel like doing it. In the other hand, she is still on her peak! She wants it badly and tells me every single day. She is in depression now and go crazy on me! I am very much sure that this is the reason. Doctors said that I could be the result of my seizures medication or the surgery, or both. She does understand it but she craves sex. We are having lot more arguments than ever. She even told me that I am useless and no more a man! In order to say this she find other reasons like not working and not helping at home, which I do. But I know why she is saying it.
> My physical condition and my memory don't allow me to work, after surgery.
> Can someone tell me if this is my fault of her's. What could be the solution? We still have love but when arguments happen, it's crazy! Now from past one year she talk a lot about her male colleague. I know she tries to make me feel jealous.


So interestingly enough I am in the same situation just in the position of your wife. I too have been married for 15yrs and my husband has a chronic illness that has caused him to not work. I am struggling! Try and be patient with your wife....it is a lot for anyone to carry and especially with us all being so young...none of us thought this would be our life. To make things harder...there are not many people we can lean on since we are in such unique situations. 

How long have you not been working? Do you guys have kids? 

I am really struggling with the money issue (everything being on my shoulders) and the lack of motivation that my husband has. He has not worked in almost 9yrs and does not have any plans to go back. As much as I know you guys are dealing with a lot...so are we....and its a lot for anyone to deal with. In many ways we are grieving the husbands and marriages we thought we were going to have. It's devastating. Its stressful and feels hopeless at times. 

PLEASE try and be understanding and supportive of her. If she is working FT, household things, and many other things...she is stressed to the max. Do not allow yourselves to get so lost...as I have allowed. I'm considering leaving...I cannot live the rest of the my life like this... 

Hang in there!


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## Mommame2 (Oct 8, 2017)

I'd look more into this male colleague she keeps referencing. She's ripe for an affair if she's not already in one. Best of luck. 


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

Your wife is going thru her peak sexually time. Trust me when I tell you it's on her brain. Her body parts are constantly tingling... we women can keep horny for hours. It becomes an obsession. I can understand how she feels...i when thru that for a few years. Worn my husband out a few times. Lucky for me he is always ready for a tumble. He also got me a few really nice toys for when he was not available. Me masturbating alone was never a problem for him...he views it as maintenance. Because he always get some when ever he wants it.

I think you should get her some toys. Use it on her to get her off...even if you can not have sex. Play with her in bed. When I am on my period and can't have sex...i play with my husband to give him some sexy time. You would be doing the same with her.


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## StarFires (Feb 27, 2018)

While talking about it with the doctor was prime time to ask if there are any solutions, something to combat the effects of the drugs, like testosterone suppliments. I'm not a fan of the just-do-it mentality, so would you consider asking the doc about anything to help you get the desire back?


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## snerg (Apr 10, 2013)

Get those TLVLS checked yesterday!

If you have no desire, you need to get a testosterone replacement going so that you want sex again.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

It is likely the anti-seizure, anti-convulsive medication that is causing the drop in testosterone and the lack of desire. And some like Dilantin cause E.D.


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