# How to Initiate Sex If You Have Kids



## virgil (Sep 11, 2010)

I guess this question has been asked before and will be many times long after im gone but I want to ask how those of you with kids and busy working lives initiate the request/call for sex?

The kids are around until reasonably late in the evening but my wife likes a little time to prepare herself for a night of fun, which means I need to make my intentions known before they have gone to bed, however I need some interesting/fun ways to ask for sex which she would know what im asking for but the kids wont.

I was thinking about secret code words but would like to get some feedback from those of you that must have the same problem as me. 

Thanks for any help


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

First thing is that children need to have an early bed time. This is for the parents as much as it is for the children... so off to bed with the little ones. 

The yes have a code word or two... that you can whisper in her ear as you nibble on it. Yes you can do that while the children are around. It's good for the children to see parents being affectionate and playful.

Another way to do it is to have a sex-date once a week. While scheduled sex might not sound like fun it can be... all the anticipation leading up to it is fun. When we date we basically have scheduled sex right? So make in an in-home date date.

When we used to do that I'd make sure that he was good music, snacks, wine, etc ready. IT's a date after all even if we are only going to the bedroom.


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## Jibril (May 23, 2012)

Text her while you're at work. A nice, erotic/provocative text mid-day may create some anticipation.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Jibril said:


> Text her while you're at work. A nice, erotic/provocative text mid-day may create some anticipation.


Shoot text her from another room in the house too. 

It's all about being playful


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## alex2 (Apr 8, 2012)

Put them to bed.


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## virgil (Sep 11, 2010)

Totally agree with putting them to bed and they are at an age that they cant go too early 9pm is the cut off at the moment.

Have tried the txt messages and think ive over used that along with sexy notes. 

I like the idea of being a little more attentive before, im going to try that. 

Any other ideas ?


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## Nicole01 (Jul 31, 2012)

We just lock our door. Our kids are 9 and 11. We make little comments like " I'm ready for round 1 or 2", "I could use some loven right now", or whisper "let's get naked", ect... I'd like to make up some new cues soon just to mix it up a bit. 

I go to bed early, so putting the kids to bed early is not going to work. Plus at the end of the evening I'm exhausted.

Our kids do give us our privacy time. They are very well behaved girls(so far).


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

I'm in the we just lock the door camp. I've got 3 kids and they often have friends over. They aren't all in bed until 10pm. We just make time for sex. I've been known to seduce my husband in the middle of the afternoon. The kids are all playing and don't even realize we've left. 

Sometimes they come looking for us and we make up some lame excuse and tell them we'll be there in a minute while we giggle like a couple of teenagers who just got busted by their parents. Makes for a great day.


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

We drop comments, like I really want you tonight, I want some alone time tonight, how about a massage? etc... how much notice does your wife need? Can you not say something sexy to her early in the day and say within the message make sure the kids are wore out so they go to sleep quickly I have plans for you.... or something?


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## JaLeRi (Jul 26, 2012)

virgil said:


> I guess this question has been asked before and will be many times long after im gone but I want to ask how those of you with kids and busy working lives initiate the request/call for sex?
> 
> The kids are around until reasonably late in the evening but my wife likes a little time to prepare herself for a night of fun, which means I need to make my intentions known before they have gone to bed, however I need some interesting/fun ways to ask for sex which she would know what im asking for but the kids wont.
> 
> ...


Our code word is I washed the bedding today. At first it was funny it seemed every time I washed our bedding we ended up having sex that night. I wash our bedding every week. So during the day if i want to have sex I tell my husband I washed the bedding, it kind of became our code word.


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## pplwatching (Jun 15, 2012)

A couple that my wife and I know have two refrigerator magnets, one for each of them. When either wants sex, they move their magnet up towards the top of the door. The higher up, the more they're jonesing for it. She jokes that his is always at the top :lol:.

Anyway, that seems to work for them. They'll usually move the magnets when the other spouse is in the kitchen with them.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

JaLeRi said:


> Our code word is I washed the bedding today. At first it was funny it seemed every time I washed our bedding we ended up having sex that night. I wash our bedding every week. So during the day if i want to have sex I tell my husband I washed the bedding, it kind of became our code word.


What is it about clean sheets? We don't use it as a code word but it does seem to be an aphrodisiac for my wife.

To the original poster what about leaving a playful handwritten note somewhere you know she'll find it. Be vague enough that if the kids find it they won't puke.


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## Nicole01 (Jul 31, 2012)

I told him last night he needs to fire up his engine, meaning for today. 

My neck is completely out of whack and I can not move it at all. It's stuck and I'm in pain! Hopefully he won't mind doing a little work. I still need my loven!

Thank goodness for the weekend! We'll be having fun early today! 

Our kids have never picked up on our code words. They would of told us if they did.


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## 7737 (Feb 10, 2011)

The only time I can have any privacy with my wife is when the children are simply not around.
By privacy I don't necessarily mean sex - because she is asexual.

I stopped sending her text messages ('sexy', about finance...all the sorts of things a husband and wife might need to communicate to each other privately)....because if either child heard mum's phone 'bleep' they would pick it up and read the message. It didnt bother my wife atall...

They never do it to me because I have taught them about respect for MY/THEIR things. I don't check their phones, go through their drawers etc.

My wife wonders why I never text her anymore.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Shoot text her from another room in the house too.
> 
> It's all about being playful


This..flirting is the best!


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## virgil (Sep 11, 2010)

you guys are all great. i think there are some superb ideas here. I'll be trying them out soon.

thanks again


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Lol I agree... flirt through text and/or everytime you pass eachother in the house... the when the time comes.... lock the door and go at it! Its what gate and I do... and we have three kids! Lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

I'm not crude about it, but I don't hide it from my kids either. I think it's healthy for them to see that their parents have a loving adult relationship.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

Second old thread I've resurrected this week.

We have been getting into more of an "afternoon delight" routine lately. Caramel and I just go to our bedroom to take afternoon "naps." Don't really care if the kids know what we're doing or not.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

virgil said:


> I guess this question has been asked before and will be many times long after im gone but I want to ask how those of you with kids and busy working lives initiate the request/call for sex?
> 
> The kids are around until reasonably late in the evening but my wife likes a little time to prepare herself for a night of fun, which means I need to make my intentions known before they have gone to bed, however I need some interesting/fun ways to ask for sex which she would know what im asking for but the kids wont.
> 
> ...


I got a transfer to 2nd shift...5 percent shift bonus, and 3 hours a day for uninterrupted sex...We had sex 1-3 times a day for 7 years :smthumbup:


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## Horsa (Jun 27, 2012)

Some good ideas in here. As the father of 5 and 2 yo, I need some ideas for this. Thank you all.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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