# The Babysitter. Can I trust Him with Her



## Brazil0916 (Dec 29, 2015)

Its sad to say but the day has come where Im not sure if I trust my husband with the babysitter. As a Social Studies high school teacher I have many connections with students within the school. I figured it would be good to have a student I admired work for me outside of school hours. It went well! Great girl, but now shes graduated and Im afraid to call her back. It keeps playing in my head that although shes nice, shes also very cute and athletic ( & may I mention , of legal age now ). I dont know her motives at all and im surely over thinking this, but what are the chances that my husband could actually take a 1 day/night chance with this young girl? What if it has already happened. No more students babysitting for me... this is yoo stressful.

To elaborate: My marriage is good, however, he does work a fair amount as do I amd 3 children * 2 boys and 1 girl * ages 7 and under - dont exactly help the romance aspect. My worst fear is that he will take his 1 opportunity with a young girl someday. I am overthinking, But is a young 18 year old babysitter really just asking for trouble?
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## Brazil0916 (Dec 29, 2015)

Please excuse my poor grammar, Im on a cell phone. Although, I highly doubt anyone cares.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Brazil0916 said:


> Its sad to say but the day has come where Im not sure if I trust my husband with the babysitter. As a Social Studies high school teacher I have many connections with students within the school. I figured it would be good to have a student I admired work for me outside of school hours. It went well! Great girl, but now shes graduated and Im afraid to call her back. It keeps playing in my head that although shes nice, shes also very cute and athletic ( & may I mention , of legal age now ). I dont know her motives at all and im surely over thinking this, but what are the chances that my husband could actually take a 1 day/night chance with this young girl? What if it has already happened. No more students babysitting for me... this is yoo stressful.
> 
> To elaborate: My marriage is good, however, he does work a fair amount as do I amd 3 children * 2 boys and 1 girl * ages 7 and under - dont exactly help the romance aspect. My worst fear is that he will take his 1 opportunity with a young girl someday. I am overthinking, But is a young 18 year old babysitter really just asking for trouble?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_
> ...


No. A young babysitter is not asking for trouble. If you're husband is going to cheat, he'll find a way/find a person. 

I'm assuming this woman drives, so why would he ever have to be alone with her anyway? She'd be with your kids, not your husband.


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## bluezone (Jan 7, 2012)

Although I agree with SecondTime that if he's going to cheat, he will find a way...I think if you are worried about it, then don't hire her. Look for an older woman who babysits or someone who you feel comfortable with and who you would trust your children with. There are certainly a lot of people who babysit and who you could interview and get references from.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Nothing you listed in your post indicates you don't trust him and sounds more like insecurities on your part.

Also, what makes you think she would be interested in your H?


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## cvan (Dec 29, 2015)

Why are you asking? Does your H have any history having affairs with babysitters?


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## rich84 (Mar 30, 2015)

How old is your husband? I'm 31 and 18 year olds look like children to me. If he can't see the poor choice that bedding a barely legal would be, I doubt you can trust him with anything. 

Fix the lack of connection between you two by reprioritizing it in your lives. Perhaps then you could relax somewhat about the babysitter. 


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## BrokenLady (Jan 19, 2015)

Our babysitter is a cute young student. As said before (Rich84)...She's a little girl!!! If my H would have sexual interest in her I'd WANT to know! I'd want to know that my H is a pervert!

We live in a sad culture that over-sexualizes children...that doesn't make all men perverts. I hope


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
has he done anything that makes you suspicious?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Does he ever do things like give her a drive home? Or hang around her when she's in your home?


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

BrokenLady said:


> Our babysitter is a cute young student. As said before (Rich84)...She's a little girl!!! If my H would have sexual interest in her I'd WANT to know! I'd want to know that my H is a pervert!
> 
> We live in a sad culture that over-sexualizes children...that doesn't make all men perverts. I hope


Finding a 18 y/o woman attractive does not make a man a pervert. She's physically fully developed. It's not smart to go after one; but you're burring your head in the sand if you don't think most men find them physically attractive.


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## MachoMcCoy (Oct 20, 2014)

I know EXACTLY what you are going through right now. I can't hire ANY males to do ANY work at my house. Because...you know...a male worker is MALE and my wife is a FEMALE. What if she has sexual relations with one of them? I have ZERO evidence she would. But you NEVER KNOW!

I'm with you girl. I'm locking down the house. 

And THANK GOD we have so many experts here that didn't take your over the top paranoia lightly. You would be CRAZY to let this go when you have ZERO evidence that anything is going on. Sad to say a 31 year old man COULD find an 18 year old hottie hot: ICK!!!

Did I enter some parallel universe where everyone agrees that a woman must keep her husband away from all 18 year old girls PURELY because they are 18?

And in this parallel universe a 31 year old man is a perv for finding a fully grown, mature, and LEGAL 18 year old attractive?

When he didn't even do anything?

Am I missing something here? Why aren't we sending this woman to the looney bin? Why are we feeding her paranoia AT ALL?


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## MachoMcCoy (Oct 20, 2014)

BrokenLady said:


> We live in a sad culture that over-sexualizes children...that doesn't make all men perverts. I hope


CHILDREN? She's 18. If she started seeing and screwing a 31 year old male, it's called DATING. Not Paedophelia. The 31 year old needs our ADMIRATION, not our scorn.


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## MachoMcCoy (Oct 20, 2014)

Brazil0916 said:


> I don't know her motives at all.


Freakin' wh0re. She probably made it look like she just wanted some extra money. RIGHT! Like you should believe THAT!!!



Brazil0916 said:


> this is too stressful.


I know, right? Just remove ALL contact with ALL females from his life. You don't need this sh!t.

This has been fun, but I've got some REAL work to do.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

larry.gray said:


> Finding a 18 y/o woman attractive does not make a man a pervert. She's physically fully developed. It's not smart to go after one; but you're burring your head in the sand if you don't think most men find them physically attractive.


I agree with this... but the rest solely depends on the character of your husband..do you have *reason to believe *he'd take any opportunity he could (if he wasn't caught) to feel a hot woman up ?? 


@Brazil0916 ....Also I couldn't help but notice your words...


> *My marriage is good, however, he does work a fair amount as do I and 3 children * 2 boys and 1 girl * ages 7 and under - dont exactly help the romance aspect. *My worst fear is that he will take his 1 opportunity with a young girl someday. I am overthinking, But is a young 18 year old babysitter really just asking for trouble?


Almost sounds like you have resigned the fact.... "Oh I'm a Mother now, things aren't what they used to be... he works a lot...we don't have time...so many kids - like it's all boring & he shouldn't expect much excitement anymore".. Who [email protected]#.. your kids don't have to slow the romance & passion down.. it's not true !! ...

You have the power to keep things adventurous & hot in the bedroom.. then when he's at work, you're at work.. you'll both be grinning thinking of being in each other's arms later... tap into this.... put your *energies* into spicing up your marriage...over worrying how he is looking at the babysitter.. 

Some books can help...

Passionista: The Empowered Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man (Kerner):Books

101 Nights of Great Sex: Sealed Secrets. Anticipation. Seduction 

 Red-Hot Monogamy


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## Apexmale (Jul 31, 2015)

Has this babysitter done anything to make you believe she would take interest in your husband?? 

It is not a good idea to distrust your husband BEFORE distrusting your babysitter.

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## MachoMcCoy (Oct 20, 2014)

I don't understand why anyone is mistrusting ANYONE here.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

I think there are plenty of 18 year old girls that lots of men would find attractive. Lots that don't, and look like the kids they are. Either way, a decent man at 31 is not interested in an 18 year old. That's just stupid. 
If you think your husband is the kind of character that would try to seduce an 18 year old kid, why are you married to him. You've typed no reason for your mistrust in either of them. However, in some cases I think this fear may be justified by subtle observations. What observations have you noticed that are causing this fear? We aren't giving you a hard time--- you just haven't explained the motive for your fears very well.
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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Brazil0916 said:


> Its sad to say but the day has come where Im not sure if I trust my husband with the babysitter. As a Social Studies high school teacher I have many connections with students within the school. I figured it would be good to have a student I admired work for me outside of school hours. It went well! Great girl, but now shes graduated and Im afraid to call her back. It keeps playing in my head that although shes nice, shes also very cute and athletic ( & may I mention , of legal age now ). I dont know her motives at all and im surely over thinking this, but what are the chances that my husband could actually take a 1 day/night chance with this young girl? What if it has already happened. No more students babysitting for me... this is yoo stressful.
> 
> To elaborate: My marriage is good, however, he does work a fair amount as do I amd 3 children * 2 boys and 1 girl * ages 7 and under - dont exactly help the romance aspect. My worst fear is that he will take his 1 opportunity with a young girl someday. I am overthinking, But is a young 18 year old babysitter really just asking for trouble?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_
> ...


*You've firmly stated that you and your husband are both secondary school teachers.

Having said that, exactly what rationale are you using in determining as to why your husband would be any more attuned to messing around with some voluptuous female student, much less a babysitter, than you, yourself, would be in messing around with say, some young "ripped" male/student "stud muffin?"*
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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

arbitrator said:


> [, some young "ripped" male/student "stud muffin?"


You summoned me?


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

EllisRedding said:


> You summoned me?


*Hey, Ellis: I'm thinking that you should PM the OP ASAP! She might be interested in you!

Just don't bother telling your old lady anything about it! She'd probably have you wearing your a$$ for a hat!*
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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

OliviaG said:


> I personally would not tempt fate by having an attractive young woman at my house daily interacting with my husband when I'm not there. I trust him completely and have no reason not to trust him, but he is human and I don't think it's a great idea to put people in the way of temptation. If it was just a once in a while babysitting gig then that would be different.
> 
> I get from your post though that you are feeling insecure because your relationship with your husband isn't as solid as it could or should be? If that's the case, the best thing might be to invest time and energy into making sure that your husband feels loved and appreciated by you and that you feel totally secure in your marriage. I get that time and opportunity may not be plentiful, but it's important and I would make it a priority.


So you trust your husband completely, just not enough with temptation  Sounds like maybe you don't quite trust him completely ...


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I was hoping that the OP would come back and answer some questions to give move info. My bet is that there is something deeper here. It might be simply that their relationship is not good right now and she is feeling insecure. 

But instead of talking to her and helping her figure it out, I see that posters have taken to have fun at her expense. 

I doubt that she will return after some of the posts on this thread.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

OliviaG said:


> I personally would not tempt fate by having an attractive young woman at my house daily interacting with my husband when I'm not there. I trust him completely and have no reason not to trust him, but he is human and I don't think it's a great idea to put people in the way of temptation. If it was just a once in a while babysitting gig then that would be different.
> 
> I get from your post though that you are feeling insecure because your relationship with your husband isn't as solid as it could or should be? If that's the case, the best thing might be to invest time and energy into making sure that your husband feels loved and appreciated by you and that you feel totally secure in your marriage. I get that time and opportunity may not be plentiful, but it's important and I would make it a priority.


I agree. Go with your gut instinct and don't tempt fate. Better safe than sorry.


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## Spotthedeaddog (Sep 27, 2015)

SecondTime'Round said:


> No. A young babysitter is not asking for trouble. If you're husband is going to cheat, he'll find a way/find a person.
> 
> I'm assuming this woman drives, so why would he ever have to be alone with her anyway? She'd be with your kids, not your husband.


No point setting up untoward easy opportunities for shared attention and common time together with a common project and unattached sub female of legal age.

Re: second...if kids and husband are home wtf do they have a babysitter for?


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## sep (Nov 13, 2012)

Why you don't find a nice but not attractive babysitter?
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