# Ladies if you were? Why?



## discouraged1 (Mar 16, 2010)

Just need to understand here..
If you were logging into chat on Facebook but swearing you weren't chatting then why would you log in or what else would you be doing?
Am I missing something? OR just being lied to?


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I can't choose to log in to FB chat...it just does it.

You can turn it off, but you have to actually go and turn it off in the chat window.


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## sexuallyfustrated (Mar 24, 2011)

discouraged1 said:


> Just need to understand here..
> If you were logging into chat on Facebook but swearing you weren't chatting then why would you log in or what else would you be doing?
> Am I missing something? OR just being lied to?


Although I have a FB account I hardly use it but when I do the chat window just ones up. If one of your friends see's your icon online and wants to chat just does.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## discouraged1 (Mar 16, 2010)

I understand it logs you in automatically from a computer, but you can log out. From a mobile device app you have to actually click on chat to see who else is chatting, right?
At least that is what it is like on my cell phone.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I don't know.

Is she not allowed to chat?


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

Yep, I log into FB for lots of reasons--see what's going on with all my friends and family, post pictures, look at pictures, all kinds of stuff. 

Chat is only one function and it's either turned on or off as a setting overall. Anyone on your friend list can initiate a chat, or if they sent a chat message while you were offline, it will pop up next time you log in. An open chat box doesn't necessarily mean you're active in it, it could be an offline message, or someone that sent you a message, that you didn't necessarily respond to.

It's what's in the chat box, not that there is one, that can be problematic.


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

discouraged1 said:


> I understand it logs you in automatically from a computer, but you can log out. From a mobile device app you have to actually click on chat to see who else is chatting, right?
> At least that is what it is like on my cell phone.


Yeah, on my blackberry I have to go to chat from the navigation box and go online to see who's there.

It's pretty dead there tonight


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## discouraged1 (Mar 16, 2010)

She had an EA a couple years ago using FB and we have had an agreement ever since that she would not use chat.. so over the last few weeks I have noticed behavior changes. I logged into my chat and lo and behold she was signed in. 
I let it go for a few weeks but kept seeing her signing in and out so I know she was aware of what she was doing.
I confronted her last night because she was ignoring me while on FB and I kinda got fed up.
I asked her who she was chatting with and she denied that she was chatting. Then denied she was intentionally logging in and it was auto logging her in.
I find it extremely hard to believe considering I saw the pattern over several weeks.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Oh....hm. I don't know. I use chat, but I only chat with other SAHMs LOL


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## sexuallyfustrated (Mar 24, 2011)

that_girl said:


> Oh....hm. I don't know. I use chat, but I only chat with other SAHMs LOL


I don't get it why the Hell do they lie to our faces about the things. You know the more I to over things its the hold face lies that really burn me up. If you want out and to me if your cheating you do, then hear us your chance you know. Ugh it kills me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## discouraged1 (Mar 16, 2010)

So she has not been logged in online for several days now that I have seen. Kinda funny that she swears she was not logging in intentionally prior to me confronting her. Her absence is telling.


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

If she had an EA and the primary means was FB she knows what she's doing and what shows and what doesn't. I did that very thing and I totally understood what showed and what didn't. My AP or I would usually communicate via message as opposed to chat, but if one of us wanted to chat we would message that and I would enable chat. As soon as we were done, I'd disable chat so my wife wouldn't see me in chat all day and wonder why I was logged into FB all day (I knew it auto enabled chat and could explain it that way, but I never used FB much before my affair so it would have been unusual for me to be logged into FB at all). 

She didn't just suddenly go deaf, dumb and blind. If she had chat disabled for a time, then reappeared, and is now off again; IMO it was intentional.


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