# Thinking of ending it.



## BS94 (May 30, 2018)

First marriage, I got married young, to a girl with a baby. I bought us a place to live, later adopted her daughter, after 1 year and 8 months she filed for divorce.
Second marriage, I married a girl with a 3 year old son. We had 2 more boys in our 24 years together. Bad things started to happen about 6 months in.
Within the first 6 years my wife was fired from 3 jobs for stealing money. The 1st time she swore she was framed and I believed her, the 2nd time I didn't believe her, she was arrested for it. Our first son was 6 weeks old. We later filed bankruptcy because of it and lost everything. We picked ourselves up, things were going good. 3 years later, she did it again, big time. Our youngest son was about 6 months old then. So here I am, new house again, 3 boys, wife in trouble. I went and borrowed the money to pay them back to keep her from going to prison. Since all of that she has run up credit cards, took out a loan and put me down as a co-borrower (I had no idea of it) and she never made a payment. She took blank checks out of my check book and cashed them and swore she told me about them. Lied about paying bills when she hadn't. There are many things to cover. 
We had 2 checking accounts, a joint one that we both put money in and she controlled, and my personal account. Back in May 2017, some bills didn't get paid, I asked her why not, she told me because I didn't give her enough money every month to pay them. She should have around $1750.00 per month left after everything she is responsibly for is paid. I looked into it and discovered she had spent $3400.00 in 4 months on internet stuff. After that I quit catering to her and she can't stand it. The joint account is always over drawn, I told her to give it up and I would do it, but she said I'm not going to treat her like a kid. I no longer put money in that account. We both have separate accounts now and she is still spending around $600.00 a month on i-tunes, netflix and other stuff. She wants the old me back or she wants me to leave. I told her several years ago, that when our youngest turned 18, I may be gone because of the things that were going one then and that had gone on in the past. She tells me that I'm selfish, I only think about myself and I didn't even have the guts to adopt her son. 

Now all 3 boys are of legal age. One has moved out. All three have good jobs and are great young men.
To make matters a little harder, I have been talking to and spending a little time with someone I like a lot. This has been going on for about 8 months.

Give me your thoughts, why can't I throw in the towel and move on to someone that seems to be total opposite to what I have now.


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

Why don't you answer that question yourself? You are the only one who has the answer.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

YOu already know the answer!


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## AKA Broken Arrow (Feb 19, 2016)

You stay because you love your wife and you have history together. However, you still have a lot of life left, do you deserve to be happy?


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

History is over, you can't relive it. Look at it like money spent not money put in the bank that you have access to.


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## sa58 (Feb 26, 2018)

It sounds like she is the selfish one in this relationship.
She is obviously only thinking about herself.
You raised and provided for your kids, her's also. If she has not 
changed in 24 years then she will never change. Leave quickly,
you gave her 24 years and got what in return? Do not however 
cheat with the other person. Solve this problem before creating 
another one. Since you have already picked two flawed individuals
be careful who you pick next time. Maybe just stay single.


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