# opinion on wife's comments



## PB & J's (Sep 27, 2011)

Have been married for 10yrs and have 2 kids. Wife asked for separation back in Feb. and after i left we didnt speak for about 4 months. We started talking and going on a few dates and hanging out without any family or kids knowing. We started being more involved with each other and are really enjoying our time with each other. For the last few weeks she has been acting like she wants just to be friends and said she doesn't want to be with anybody but she says she really likes are progress and hopes we can get back together. I'm just really confused a would like some advice?


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

PB & J's said:


> Have been married for 10yrs and have 2 kids. Wife asked for separation back in Feb. and after i left we didnt speak for about 4 months. We started talking and going on a few dates and hanging out without any family or kids knowing. We started being more involved with each other and are really enjoying our time with each other. For the last few weeks she has been acting like she wants just to be friends and said she doesn't want to be with anybody but she says she really likes are progress and hopes we can get back together. I'm just really confused a would like some advice?


That`s a tough one because she`s basically non-commital.

I`d run with it until I began to invest more emotionally than I was receiving in return.

If you want your wife back it`s a pretty good opportunity.

You just have to know when to cut your losses if you don`t get consistent improvement of her commitment during the whole dating thing.

I`d be her friend for awhile with the stipulation that I am interested in doing so only if there is a solid chance at reconciliation....if I wanted my marriage back.

She needs to know and understand that stipulation.
I won`t be strung along.

Why did she want a separation?
Is there infidelity involved?


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Is there another man in the picture?


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## PB & J's (Sep 27, 2011)

morituri said:


> Is there another man in the picture?


No other man that I know of. She says that she doesn't need anybody but me
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

PB & J's said:


> No other man that I know of. She says that she doesn't need anybody but me
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Trust but verify.

I only suggest this because an affair is often the real reason a spouse "needs space" and wants a separation.

It would be the very first thing that popped in my mind if I were to hear such a thing from my wife.

Other than that I`d take the advice in my first reply.

If she`s not involved with anyone give it a shot.


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## PB & J's (Sep 27, 2011)

tacoma said:


> Trust but verify.
> 
> I only suggest this because an affair is often the real reason a spouse "needs space" and wants a separation.
> 
> ...


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PB & J's (Sep 27, 2011)

We just had a talk and she says she loves me and wants to work things out. I think that she wants me to come home but she can't swallow her pride and know her family will tell I told you so. They all told her she was making a mistake.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

PB & J's said:


> We just had a talk and she says she loves me and wants to work things out. I think that she wants me to come home but she can't swallow her pride and know her family will tell I told you so. They all told her she was making a mistake.


Keep up the dating in secret for now.

Show her a man she wants to be with, a strong, confident, compassionate man.

Her desire and need will over ride her pride soon enough.

What led to the separation?
What reason did she give for wanting it?
Who has the kids?
Have you seen them in the last 4 months?


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## PB & J's (Sep 27, 2011)

She mentioned about a year ago that she felt unhappy but never said why she felt this way. The we had a big argument and then that caused alot of tension. She said she just wanted time to figure things out so i moved out and we didnt speak to each other for a few months. At first i had the oldest and she had youngest. I made sure to see both and be involved with both of them


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

PB & J's said:


> She mentioned about a year ago that s*he felt unhappy but never said why she felt this way. The we had a big argument and then that caused alot of tension.* She said she just wanted time to figure things out so i moved out and we didnt speak to each other for a few months. At first i had the oldest and she had youngest.* I made sure to see both and be involved with both of them*


I don`t want to sound like I`m grilling ya PB&J but well I`m gonna grill ya a bit because you seem to be a little evasive.

I don`t think I`d actually give my wife a separation until I at least had a damn good reason from her.

What was this tension causing argument about?

How have you managed not speaking to her while seeing the kids?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I find it interesting when we push away and distance our selfs from a spouse it seems to come back around.

Good for you for not begging and pleading for your marriage ,but taking the very very very hard road to distance youself and then come back around. 

Becareful their tricky, the emotional rollercaoster ride they can put you on can come at any time so......trust but verify!

I truley hope that the both of you can see that the grass is not greener on the other side!


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## PB & J's (Sep 27, 2011)

she really started tell our friends that is wasnt doing anything around the house and was lazy. So just finally told her that I couldnt take her being disrespectful.I work 40 plus a week and take kids to all the sporting functions and still helped out cleaning the house. I also tried to explain to her after she got laid off from her old job that her new job didnt pay enough to keep up with all the home improvements. We communicated thru e mail or thru our oldest child


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## PB & J's (Sep 27, 2011)

i know the grass is not greener and i feel she has started to see it too. She has no money or help around the house so things are difficult and she has not talked to any of her sisters because they all told her the same


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

PB & J's said:


> She mentioned about a year ago that she felt unhappy but never said why she felt this way ... we had a big argument ... that caused alot of tension. She said she just wanted time to figure things out
> 
> *so i moved out*
> 
> ...


In my humble opinion, this was a big mistake and you should undo it as soon as possible. If she wants to be separated, let her move out. Being concerned about what her family might say is pure silliness, I can tell you from direct experience that the people who support your marriage will be glad to see you back together and even if they are this judgmental, they will keep it to themselves. I see this in action every day


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