# Contemplating divorce... need advice



## soccergirl (Aug 30, 2011)

I have been married for a little over 3 years and we have a 13 month old daughter. 
we got married when I was just 20 years old after only dating for a year and 4 months. I had major hesitation about getting married that young but I was too scared to express my feelings with him and afraid of what our families would think if I called the wedding off. 
I have never been super passionate about him, but have always been afraid of hurting him. I went through counseling last year and learned how to express my feelings and I'm really starting to realize that I am no longer in love with him and I am regretting getting married. 
Having our daughter changes everything though, I'm not sure if separating our family is in her best interest. 
My husband and I had a really good conversation where I shared my feelings and concerns and he has been working really hard to fix the things I addressed. But now at this point I feel like no matter what happens my feelings wont change. 
My mind wont quit racing and I cant stop thinking about how I wish I could go back in time and not get married so that I wouldn't be in this situation now. Anyone have a time machine?


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## Soccerfan73 (Jul 30, 2011)

It's a 2 part problem really. 

You do have a child, and they should be a major part of any decision you make in regards to your marriage and it's future. 

However, if you truly aren't in love with your husband will that not only be workable for you but will it work for HIM as well? I don't know if I were married to a woman who didn't love me if I'd be that thrilled to be in that marriage. 

You shouldn't spend too much energy thinking about what is in the past though. No matter how much you want to, you can't go back in time and "change things". You have to deal with the present.


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