# Stop your whining and be a man.



## Triumph (Oct 8, 2011)

Attract Women Using Your Body Language | Dating Tips and Dating Advice by David Wygant


David Wygant is a world renowned dating coach. Personally I dont need dating advice, and I doubt you do either. This guy has confidence written all over him, and I find his information useful for dealing with my wife, other women (I have a pathelogical tendency to put all women on pedastels), and manning-up.

The video in the link above I would put into the manning-up category.

Enjoy.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Underlying message is correct.

Although I'm sure some would take issue with the language and words he uses to convey the message.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

Awwwwwwwwwww.do I have too!!!!!


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## I'mAllIn (Oct 20, 2011)

Agree that the underlying message is useful, but I disagree with the idea of paying absolutely no attention to the body language of the woman. Confidence-Great, Having a Plan-Great, Eye Contact-Great, but if a woman's body language is telling you that you're coming on too strong or that she is just absolutely not interested then continuing on with your confident plan is at the least a waste of your time and at the worst going to get you punched in the nose. There is also a very fine line between confident guy and ****y ass and many men have no idea where that line is.


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## Triumph (Oct 8, 2011)

I'mAllIn said:


> Agree that the underlying message is useful, but I disagree with the idea of paying absolutely no attention to the body language of the woman. Confidence-Great, Having a Plan-Great, Eye Contact-Great, but if a woman's body language is telling you that you're coming on too strong or that she is just absolutely not interested then continuing on with your confident plan is at the least a waste of your time and at the worst going to get you punched in the nose. There is also a very fine line between confident guy and ****y ass and many men have no idea where that line is.


I agree with his message in the sence that, as a nice guy, I tend to over analyze my interactions with women. I start paying too much attention to things like body language to the point where I am unable to truly involve myself in a conversation with a woman.

There is definately a very fine line being confident and being a ****y bastard, like you say. But read Deejo's post. A lot of people will have issue with his language, but if you look past that you will see that David is saying dont be the ****y bastard, be the confident guy.


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## joshbjoshb (Jul 11, 2011)

AB1 said:


> I agree with the underlying message in this video. For me, the problem probably comes from being too nice. So, although I am the most attractive in my marriage, my wife is the one with the confidence, at my expense, after years of trying to make her feel better, putting her on a pedestal.
> 
> There are many things I wish I had learned earlier, like some of the points in this video and similar.
> 
> My wife tells me she feels so much better about herself because of me. So much so she thinks she deserves someone better than me. No doubt she will be in shock when she hits the streets--she is lower on the scale for sure. But strange how under-marrying then building a woman up makes the woman seek someone she thinks is more confident while discounting the one that actually paid attention to all the details and actually cared.


So stop being a follower and become a leader. 

Radiate that you are the top guy in the world and she should be dying to stay with you.

Buy the book (or download ,someone just posted a link) No more mr. nice guy and start living!


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## Triumph (Oct 8, 2011)

AB1 said:


> I agree with the underlying message in this video. For me, the problem probably comes from being too nice. So, although I am the most attractive in my marriage, my wife is the one with the confidence, at my expense, after years of trying to make her feel better, putting her on a pedestal.
> 
> There are many things I wish I had learned earlier, like some of the points in this video and similar.
> 
> My wife tells me she feels so much better about herself because of me. So much so she thinks she deserves someone better than me. No doubt she will be in shock when she hits the streets--she is lower on the scale for sure. But strange how under-marrying then building a woman up makes the woman seek someone she thinks is more confident while discounting the one that actually paid attention to all the details and actually cared.


Ive heard the reverse many times. Girls start dating guys to try and "fix them" only to give the man enough confidence to move on to supposedly greener pastures.

Your wife might have a point. You have spent so much time working on her, that you have neglected yourself. Ideally you should have attempted to grow together, as opposed to focusing your energy on growing her. I know your intentions were good, but misleading. I hope everything works out for you.


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## AB1 (Oct 25, 2011)

joshbjoshb said:


> So stop being a follower and become a leader.
> 
> Radiate that you are the top guy in the world and she should be dying to stay with you.
> 
> Buy the book (or download ,someone just posted a link) No more mr. nice guy and start living!


I agree, thanks for your input.


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## joshbjoshb (Jul 11, 2011)

AB1 said:


> I agree, thanks for your input.
> 
> I am curious what you mean by radiate as being the top guy in the world. How would you define this? I think I get the basics of this, and to some extent have noticed change.


Did you read the book? You should if you didn't.

My point is, all of the "nice guys" are really insecure about themselves. We are always looking for approval and therefor go great length to appease our spouses. Ladies are looking to have a leader in the house. They are enough insecure themselves so they want to you to lead.

You must radiate that even if you will have to leave her (which I don't suggest you do, I believe in doing everything possible to preserve your marriage) you will be fine, you will surely find many more girls to hang out with, you will be okay. So you are CHOOSING to be with her not because you are forced but because you believe in her. So for starters, she would never be able to threaten you any more with leaving you since you will be just perfectly fine without her.

I know its sounds bad and some people might think that this is not love. But true love is that you are an independent, happy person and so is she and you choose to be married to each other. 

Now, since you are a nice guy like me, most likely you are also insecure. That's a problem. You have to work on it, to start believing in yourself, start doing things that you like, walk in the house upright and radiate that you are a good person, you know it and your are proud of yourself. This is what your wife is looking for!


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## AB1 (Oct 25, 2011)

Triumph said:


> Ive heard the reverse many times. Girls start dating guys to try and "fix them" only to give the man enough confidence to move on to supposedly greener pastures.
> 
> Your wife might have a point. You have spent so much time working on her, that you have neglected yourself. Ideally you should have attempted to grow together, as opposed to focusing your energy on growing her. I know your intentions were good, but misleading. I hope everything works out for you.



Great points, and I have made changes, almost creating a power struggle in the process.


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## joshbjoshb (Jul 11, 2011)

AB1 said:


> Great points, and I have made changes, almost creating a power struggle in the process.
> 
> I do wonder if its possible to undo a lot of this, or if perceptions are set and too difficult to change. We have been married for 20 years, with a great marriage in many aspects, except as I have indicated.
> 
> My wife went for jerks that treated her like ****. I was going to be the good guy. Wrong move as I can see now. Not sure if its too late, not that a divorce is in the works or anything similar, just not sure how difficult it is to change perceptions after so many years. Because if it doesn't change, a split could happen, initiated by me.


It's never too late. It would be more difficult but still doable.

Start by being yourself. Start by having your own life OUTSIDE your marriage. Your hobbies, your friends (get new ones if you don't have enough), play sport, go for outing with some other men. And you should expect that as you change yourself, your wife will have a very hard time at first (she is not used to see a confident men and will try to get you back to what you were). Then set your boundaries! This is a MUST. If you respect yourself, then you wouldn't let anyone treat you like garbage. And if your wife does, tell her to stop and be ready to make sure she does. 

So:

First make sure you are a happy man.

Then you can come back to your marriage with that newfound wisdom, and tell her (you DON'T have to use this words):

I am a happy, smart man. You are not staying in marriage cause you have to, but you are making the choice to try and work things out. Have a gameplan of what you expect of her and what you expect of yourself and execute it.

I would highly suggest to meet a therapiest and have someone support and guide you through the entire process.


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## AB1 (Oct 25, 2011)

joshbjoshb said:


> Did you read the book? You should if you didn't.
> 
> My point is, all of the "nice guys" are really insecure about themselves. We are always looking for approval and therefor go great length to appease our spouses. Ladies are looking to have a leader in the house. They are enough insecure themselves so they want to you to lead.
> 
> ...


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## joshbjoshb (Jul 11, 2011)

AB1 said:


> Great advice...I have been working on this stuff. She made a comment about a friend of hers that had an affair with a guy and how great it was for the friend. I said if that sounds so great to you, then you don't belong with me and I am just fine leaving now. I followed up with "your friend has a horrible life, horrible husband that cheats also, and she has never known what a great marriage is even about." My wife started to cry and said I was all she ever wanted.


Sorry but this is not at all what I meant. If you would be secure, you wouldn't have to attack her friend in order to make her feel good. You'd say "well, isn't that great you are married to such a great guy like me, so you don't have to have an affair with me?"

I am sorry but you have a long way to go. Putting your wife down is not being a leader, its being a insecure person who all they know is to put other people down.

I am not saying it in a bad way. But yo must realize that you are on the wrong path!


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## Mr_brown (Oct 17, 2011)

Well... I read the book about three weeks ago and the biggest change I've made is not whining... When I didn't get what I want I made sure I got other things that satisfied me... A night out with friends a purchase I was thinking about for some time. These things helped me prove to myself that I didn't need her to satisfy me. Tonight she made some passes at me and I accepted them and moved on. Didn't take it further. I have been more blunt as to what I expect,(not making little deals in my head if I do xyz then she'll owe me... This only leads to frustration) seams as if both of us are happier so far like I said it's only been three weeks but so far a good start... Just need to stick to my NMMNG guns! Thanks TAM!


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