# In the other's shoes



## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

If the roles were reversed and you were the unfaithful one and your spouse was the loyal one, how do you think they would feel?


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## paramore (Jan 11, 2011)

Well in my case, I hope at present somewhere inside or down the road, he could feel the same intense pain that he has put me through.


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## it-guy (Jan 6, 2011)

I think we would both feel...divorced  seriously... No way I could ever get away with cheating on her. She's even said that since she was caught.


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## paramore (Jan 11, 2011)

it-guy said:


> I think we would both feel...divorced  seriously... No way I could ever get away with cheating on her. She's even said that since she was caught.


Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black lol

I asked my husband after his last EA what he would have done if I had went out and slept with someone or had had another EA, he would have just left and figured we weren't meant to be, isn't that weird how the person does it, but turns around and says they would leave if you did?


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

it-guy said:


> I think we would both feel...divorced  seriously... No way I could ever get away with cheating on her. She's even said that since she was caught.



Sure there are some of us that divorced our unfaithful spouses once we found out about their affair(s), but a great many don't even though they once said that they would.

You're wife won't truly know how she'll react until she 'crosses that bridge' - and hopefully she'll never cross it.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

When I aksed my H what he would think if I was out having sex, all he did was shrug his shoulders at me. I would love to know that if I was doing what he is doing, it would drive him insane. But, I don't know that he would even care.


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## it-guy (Jan 6, 2011)

Agreed. She does not know how she would really react. 

I hate to say this.....but I always assumed in my head that I would go on a killing spree if it happened. Please don't take that as if I'm going to do it now. I just always thought that I would go after the OM in a very bad way. Hey, I live in the south like to compete in tactical gun matches from time to time. I've got stuff in this house that would make marines get a chubby...lol But instead…..I turned into this mushy mess of a man who lost control of his emotions and was just plain……a mess.
Guess that’s a good thing. Reality hits you hard sometimes, and you never know what you will really do.


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## it-guy (Jan 6, 2011)

Ok so now everyone is picturing the computer nerd with an ak-47....lol Very disturbing mental pictures right


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## paramore (Jan 11, 2011)

HAH!! Nothing wrong with a nerd, I am kind of a self professed geek, who owns a sword husband bought me for mothers day years ago, I totally want to have a sword collection.


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## The 13th_Floor (Mar 7, 2011)

paramore said:


> HAH!! Nothing wrong with a nerd, I am kind of a self professed geek, who owns a sword husband bought me for mothers day years ago, I totally want to have a sword collection.


It's not a true sword unless it has Randy Jackson's signature on it. Anyone guess what movie that's from?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

The 13th_Floor said:


> It's not a true sword unless it has Randy Jackson's signature on it. Anyone guess what movie that's from?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


step brothers?


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## The 13th_Floor (Mar 7, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> step brothers?


**** yea!


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

In my own situation--we had the unique (though unfortunate) experience of a marriage where both of us were unfaithful and both admitted it to eachother.

The only thing not confessed was when he was searching dating sites and posting ads for sex...I found that out on my own and it sucked that it happened that way. I am still disappointed that he did that but obviously, he did it because he wanted to. 

I can tell you though from my end, that a hard lesson was learned. I will never cheat again. It was not worth it and it's something I deal with on a daily basis. Many people have told me I need to get over it and forgive myself, that they could see why I would have done it, that I'm to o hard on myself. But that is not how I feel. I know my actions hurt him and it pains me knowing this. I know how deeply my actions hurt him because of how much he hurt me when he slept with someone else too. The pain is searing. Double-edged sword. 

Club I don't want to belong to.


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