# Sex/Ejaculation issues



## Simone25 (Jun 6, 2012)

Hi all. Im 27 as is my husband, been together 9 years. Our sex life is non existent. Might happen once a month tops and only if I initiate. Maybe lasts 20-30 min and very little foreplay if any. My husband has never been able to reach orgasm with me. Whether it be by vaginal, oral, or hand stimulation. He is able to if he masturbates in his own. I have no idea what to do. We've tried everything. I try to spice it up, we've used toys, porn, he's gone to therapy. Nothing works. His sex drive doesn't exist. He rarely masturbates (maybe once every couple months) and never has sex with me. We're both wired completely different. It's to the point though where I an constantly dreaming about sex with others. My desire for sex has taken a big hit as well, because what's the point? I'm jist at a loss. I love him, he's my best friend, he's everything to me, but things will never change, that I'm sure of. Any advice?
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## timedoesnothealall (Sep 15, 2013)

If he "never has sex with you" how is it that you have sex once a month?


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## Simone25 (Jun 6, 2012)

What I meant is that he never initiates. We have sex once a month at most. It's been about 2 months since we have.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Some men with little sex drive benefit from testosterone treatments. If he's willing to give that a try, he can ask his doctor to test his testosterone levels and see if he is at the low end for his age. He might not be willing to do that, though, if he doesn't see the lack of sex as a problem.


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## Simone25 (Jun 6, 2012)

He sees it as a problem, but he has been tested for low T and is normal. He just has no drive. He used to but recently it has become non existent.
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## Simone25 (Jun 6, 2012)

Being completely honest, his lack of interest in me is very hard to deal with. I'm a girl and we all know we need to feel wanted, and I don't. Any small bit of attention from another guy makes me happy. I know that sounds awful, but I'm being 100% honest. I'd never cheat, and I hate feeling like that. I'm looking for ways to make it better.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Simone25 said:


> He sees it as a problem, but he has been tested for low T and is normal. He just has no drive. He used to but recently it has become non existent.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


So you USED to have a good sex life?

C


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Simone25 said:


> He sees it as a problem, but he has been tested for low T and is normal. He just has no drive. He used to but recently it has become non existent.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Has anything else changed in your lives recently?


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## Simone25 (Jun 6, 2012)

PBear said:


> So you USED to have a good sex life?
> 
> Yes, but it has never been perfect. It's been pretty rocky for quite some time now, about 5 years or so. Add in a kid and busy lives, it makes it harder.
> 
> C


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Simone25 (Jun 6, 2012)

No, not really. Just busy work, etc. But this has been this way for years, it just seems to always get worse, never better. 



norajane said:


> Has anything else changed in your lives recently?


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

If he hasn't _ever _been able to have an orgasm with you, and you've been married for 9 years and he's gone to therapy and doctors, like you said in you OP, then I can't imagine what kind of advice TAM could give that would make this better. 

Have you two gone to a sex therapist?

Is there any other way he can show his love for you that would make this any better for you?

I have to wonder if his inability to orgasm with you is part of his no sex drive. He's not going to be into doing something frequently if it never leads to an orgasm. 

Could he be gay?


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Simone25 said:


> Hi all. Im 27 as is my husband, been together 9 years. Our sex life is non existent. Might happen once a month tops and only if I initiate. Maybe lasts 20-30 min and very little foreplay if any. My husband has never been able to reach orgasm with me. Whether it be by vaginal, oral, or hand stimulation. He is able to if he masturbates in his own. I have no idea what to do. We've tried everything. I try to spice it up, we've used toys, porn, he's gone to therapy. Nothing works. His sex drive doesn't exist. He rarely masturbates (maybe once every couple months) and never has sex with me. We're both wired completely different. It's to the point though where I an constantly dreaming about sex with others. My desire for sex has taken a big hit as well, because what's the point? I'm jist at a loss. I love him, he's my best friend, he's everything to me, but things will never change, that I'm sure of. Any advice?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Is he seeing someone on the side? Emotional or Physical affair? Sexting?

Is his secretly viewing porn to relieve himself?

Have either of you gained unwanted weight and are not as you were before?


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## Simone25 (Jun 6, 2012)

Not gay. Very open with me about porn, etc. He rarely watches it, and usually we do together. Definitely not having an affair, trust me he has no time. If we're not at work were at home with our child. He can orgasm in front of me, just not with me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Simone25 (Jun 6, 2012)

I definitely think his low drive is due to the fact he can't orgasm. Just feel hopeless.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## soulseer (Jul 26, 2013)

You are young , without kids. Have you considered leaving him and finding a man who has a sex drive?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Simone25 (Jun 6, 2012)

soulseer said:


> You are young , without kids. Have you considered leaving him and finding a man who has a sex drive?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


We do have a kid. I don't want to leave him. Everything else in our relationship is great. I just don't know how to feel about this. I don't ever see it changing, but I can't imagine life without him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## soulseer (Jul 26, 2013)

Well its a life need you have. Imagine the rest of your life without sex. You need to be very open with each other about your expectations. A sex therapist would be good if you can afford it.
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## Simone25 (Jun 6, 2012)

soulseer said:


> Well its a life need you have. Imagine the rest of your life without sex. You need to be very open with each other about your expectations. A sex therapist would be good if you can afford it.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


We've gone to a regular therapist, for some reason we can't seem to find any sex therapists, which really sucks. And on top of that, we have no one to watch our daughter when we go. Stuck between a rock and a hard place.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Simone25 said:


> We've gone to a regular therapist, for some reason we can't seem to find any sex therapists, which really sucks. And on top of that, we have no one to watch our daughter when we go. Stuck between a rock and a hard place.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


At 13, doesn't she have friends at school that she can stay with for the hour or two your appointment would take? Or she can sit in the waiting room doing homework for an hour while you are in counseling.

This isn't going to improve by itself.


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## soulseer (Jul 26, 2013)

norajane said:


> This isn't going to improve by itself.


True. 

You are here seeking advice. So far the advice seems reasonable. google a sex therapist in your area. ask your regular therapist to refer you to a sex therapist.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Simone25 (Jun 6, 2012)

norajane said:


> At 13, doesn't she have friends at school that she can stay with for the hour or two your appointment would take? Or she can sit in the waiting room doing homework for an hour while you are in counseling.
> 
> This isn't going to improve by itself.[
> 
> ...


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## mr hillbilly (Jul 16, 2012)

Does he want to improve?


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

He may want to have his testosterone re-tested by a different doctor. The guidelines as to what is a 'normal' level encompass a huge range. The lower end of the normal range is still low. When they were deciding what constituted 'normal' they included results from 80 year old men in the mix.

Also, some doctors understand this better than others. I'd say go for a second opinion. Also, when he gets his test done (not sure if it's blood or urine), try to have him give the sample in the later afternoon when his natural testosterone levels are lower. T levels spike in the early morning.


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

Fozzy said:


> He may want to have his testosterone re-tested by a different doctor. The guidelines as to what is a 'normal' level encompass a huge range. The lower end of the normal range is still low. When they were deciding what constituted 'normal' they included results from 80 year old men in the mix.
> 
> Also, some doctors understand this better than others. I'd say go for a second opinion. Also, when he gets his test done (not sure if it's blood or urine), try to have him give the sample in the later afternoon when his natural testosterone levels are lower. T levels spike in the early morning.


Wouldn't results be done in a lab?

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## Simone25 (Jun 6, 2012)

Fozzy said:


> He may want to have his testosterone re-tested by a different doctor. The guidelines as to what is a 'normal' level encompass a huge range. The lower end of the normal range is still low. When they were deciding what constituted 'normal' they included results from 80 year old men in the mix.
> 
> Also, some doctors understand this better than others. I'd say go for a second opinion. Also, when he gets his test done (not sure if it's blood or urine), try to have him give the sample in the later afternoon when his natural testosterone levels are lower. T levels spike in the early morning.


Thank you, that's good info. I'll talk to him about having it redone.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

JustSomeGuyWho said:


> Wouldn't results be done in a lab?
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


Yes, they would. I'm saying try to schedule the lab visit so you can give the sample during the afternoon, but also try to find a competent doctor that understands the flaws in the hormone range that's considered 'normal'.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Fozzy said:


> He may want to have his testosterone re-tested by a different doctor. The guidelines as to what is a 'normal' level encompass a huge range. The lower end of the normal range is still low. When they were deciding what constituted 'normal' they included results from 80 year old men in the mix.


If he can whack off and orgasm with her in the room but not when having contact with her I don't think this is a testosterone issue.

I'd be suspecting either child abuse, years of 'training' whacking off to porn, deeply buried homosexuality or other psychological issue. 

Seriously, could you imagine being able to enjoy whacking off but unable to utilize a waiting, wanting pvssy right in front of you?


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## Simone25 (Jun 6, 2012)

larry.gray said:


> If he can whack off and orgasm with her in the room but not when having contact with her I don't think this is a testosterone issue.
> 
> I'd be suspecting either child abuse, years of 'training' whacking off to porn, deeply buried homosexuality or other psychological issue.
> 
> Seriously, could you imagine being able to enjoy whacking off but unable to utilize a waiting, wanting pvssy right in front of you?


I agree with you. I do think that his technique is the big issue,he can't get the same sensation wit me. But he has stopped masturbating for months at a time and it hasn't improved anything so I'm at a loss. As far as the other issues, I don't think any of them apply, at least I hope not. We've had very deep discussions and he's opened up to me, but I don't know.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Simone25 said:


> I agree with you. I do think that his technique is the big issue*,he can't get the same sensation wit me.* But he has stopped masturbating for months at a time and it hasn't improved anything so I'm at a loss. As far as the other issues, I don't think any of them apply, at least I hope not. We've had very deep discussions and he's opened up to me, but I don't know.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


The bolded part is what just makes NO sense to me. Really? There is no comparing to what a mouth or vagina... or for that matter someone else's hand feels like. 

My advise would be to make sure he understands that he HAS to deal with this issue. Not being wanted corrodes your soul, it destroys your self worth as you're figuring out. No matter how hard you try to live with this, you won't be able to. You're already starving for the attention you're not getting. That temptation to cheat is only going to grow. I'm not saying you'll necessarily give in. Even if you don't, you're going to feel bad about how tempted you are.


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## Simone25 (Jun 6, 2012)

larry.gray said:


> The bolded part is what just makes NO sense to me. Really? There is no comparing to what a mouth or vagina... or for that matter someone else's hand feels like.
> 
> My advise would be to make sure he understands that he HAS to deal with this issue. Not being wanted corrodes your soul, it destroys your self worth as you're figuring out. No matter how hard you try to live with this, you won't be able to. You're already starving for the attention you're not getting. That temptation to cheat is only going to grow. I'm not saying you'll necessarily give in. Even if you don't, you're going to feel bad about how tempted you are.


I'm saying that a wet vagina and a dry hand feel.completely different. There's no denying that. It's jist like with females, I can get myself off in a matter of minutes, because I know exactly where to touch. I know it's his issue and he has to deal with it,cuz I've tried everything.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Your say your husband claims their is no abuse in his back ground and I'm telling you he is lying about this. Whether he is lying to himself also remains to be seen. Somewhere along the way, your husband sexuality became completely warped resulting in his inability to orgasm but by his own hand. THAT SCREAMS sex abuse!

There is nothing medically wrong with him if he can get an erection and ejaculate by his own hand.

He needs sex therapy and he needs to go ALONE! This is the rest of your life unless he is willing to do the hard work to heal.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

You need to recognize a big difference between men and women though. Turning on and satisfying women is far more complex. Yes, a hand applied right can feel better than penetration for a woman.

Not so with a man. The physical pleasure is no comparison. A hand is just a far third place to a mouth or vagina.


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## Simone25 (Jun 6, 2012)

larry.gray said:


> You need to recognize a big difference between men and women though. Turning on and satisfying women is far more complex. Yes, a hand applied right can feel better than penetration for a woman.
> 
> Not so with a man. The physical pleasure is no comparison. A hand is just a far third place to a mouth or vagina.



Have you ever heard of death grip? That's what I'm.referring to. I'm not saying it's the entire problem, just that he has to put a lot of pressure to make himself, I've watched him. So much to the point that his junk is sore sometimes.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Simone25 (Jun 6, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> Your say your husband claims their is no abuse in his back ground and I'm telling you he is lying about this. Whether he is lying to himself also remains to be seen. Somewhere along the way, your husband sexuality became completely warped resulting in his inability to orgasm but by his own hand. THAT SCREAMS sex abuse!
> 
> There is nothing medically wrong with him if he can get an erection and ejaculate by his own hand.
> 
> He needs sex therapy and he needs to go ALONE! This is the rest of your life unless he is willing to do the hard work to heal.


Why does that indicate sexual abuse? Not arguing, would just like more insight. From what I've looked up, many men suffer fro. Delayed ejaculation is a condition where it takes them a while, or they can only by one way of doing so.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## soulseer (Jul 26, 2013)

Simone25 said:


> I'm saying that a wet vagina and a dry hand feel.completely different. There's no denying that. It's jist like with females, I can get myself off in a matter of minutes, because I know exactly where to touch. I know it's his issue and he has to deal with it,cuz I've tried everything.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Well im fairly certain 99.9% of males would prefer a wet vagina to a dry hand.

Maybe he can coach you on how he likes being touched?

It's both of your issues coz you both are living through this. its something both of you have to deal with.

I am sure your tension is generating strong emotions in your husband too . You have to look at it through his eyes too and understand his position on this. Only you can to that .

You both need to try discuss your wants and needs openly regarding sex. 

I have found difficult to bring up talking about elements of sex dissatisfaction without creating a fuss with a partner. Even when said with love.

Have you tried seducing him more often ? Do you come onto him? What does he think of oral? Surely he enjoys that?
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## soulseer (Jul 26, 2013)

Simone25 said:


> Have you ever heard of death grip? That's what I'm.referring to.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Anal ...have you two tried anal yet?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Simone25 (Jun 6, 2012)

soulseer said:


> Well im fairly certain 99.9% of males would prefer a wet vagina to a dry hand.
> 
> Maybe he can coach you on how he likes being touched?
> 
> ...


I always come onto him. I've done everything. Toys, porn, outfits, etc. I give him oral all the time. He loves it. He says he always comes close when I do that or when we have sex, but that it always goes away. 

I understand it's both of our problem, that's why I've tries so hard to help. Recommending counseling, Telling him to tell me exactly what he wants, what feels good. I've tried jacking him off the same way he does it. After 9 years with no success, it's very hard to keep at it without getting upset, for both of us. I try my best to make sure he knows that I'll do whatever it takes.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Simone25 (Jun 6, 2012)

soulseer said:


> Anal ...have you two tried anal yet?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Many times. Same result.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## soulseer (Jul 26, 2013)

Has he been this way since he started to become sexually active? 

Maybe he has trained himself to enjoy that type of sexual stimulation through conditioning when masturbating as a youngster.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Simone25 said:


> Have you ever heard of death grip? That's what I'm.referring to. I'm not saying it's the entire problem, just that he has to put a lot of pressure to make himself, I've watched him. So much to the point that his junk is sore sometimes.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I would question far more what is in his mind when he's doing this?

Are his eyes open and watching you to get turned on or are they closed? If they are closed, he's not thinking of you.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Simone25 said:


> I've tried jacking him off the same way he does it. After 9 years with no success, it's very hard to keep at it without getting upset, for both of us.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


The fact that your hand, which presumably can do the exact same thing as his hand, can't get the job done, means the actual sensation of the touch has nothing to do with it. The problem is a psychological one, not one of touch, not one of sexual preference.

I'm not a sex therapist. I don't know how normal sexuality becomes warped. I do know that sex abuse warps sexuality. The more insidious the abuse, the more warped the sexuality of the adult. 

As your husbands warped sexuality becomes a source of contention and pain between you two, the less likely he will be in allowing his sexual desire to come to the for front at all.

It is common of CSA survivors to NEED absolute and total control over their bodies in order to relax enough to arouse (notably for women) and or orgasm. 

It's also possible your husband was a victim of cruel shaming. Bottom line, your husband's issue is a deeply psychological one that requires the help of a PhD in trauma recover who also specializes in sex therapy. If he needs to go to the next city for help, so be it.


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## Simone25 (Jun 6, 2012)

soulseer said:


> Has he been this way since he started to become sexually active?
> 
> Maybe he has trained himself to enjoy that type of sexual stimulation through conditioning when masturbating as a youngster.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


He's only had one partner before me, but it was the same thing. Always been this way.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Simone25 (Jun 6, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> The fact that your hand, which presumably can do the exact same thing as his hand, can't get the job done, means the actual sensation of the touch has nothing to do with it. The problem is a psychological one, not one of touch, not one of sexual preference.
> 
> I'm not a sex therapist. I don't know how normal sexuality becomes warped. I do know that sex abuse warps sexuality. The more insidious the abuse, the more warped the sexuality of the adult.
> 
> ...


I get what you're saying. I've always wondered but I've asked and he's said no, which I doubt he'd say yes if it were true. I dint really kno. How to bring it up again though, or if I should. He's used sex toys for him (fleshlight) and he's had no problem with that either, which mire closely resembles a woman. So I'm lost.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Don't bring up CSA with him, ever. If it is true, he owns it completely and you are intruding in a hurtful way. It is infinitely harder for men to cope.

Find a PhD therapist who specializes in trauma recovery and sex therapy. They are out there, but not a lot. If you can't find one with both, go with either. The trauma recovery can confer with sex therapy practice and vice versa. Make the appointment for him and very very lovingly, gently, tell him you can't live your whole marriage this way. Remind him how very much you love him and then tell him you've made this appointment for him for therapy. Tell him you will do whatever he needs you to do but one thing you won't do is allow this to continue as is.


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## Simone25 (Jun 6, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> Don't bring up CSA with him, ever. If it is true, he owns it completely and you are intruding in a hurtful way. It is infinitely harder for men to cope.
> 
> Find a PhD therapist who specializes in trauma recovery and sex therapy. They are out there, but not a lot. If you can't find one with both, go with either. The trauma recovery can confer with sex therapy practice and vice versa. Make the appointment for him and very very lovingly, gently, tell him you can't live your whole marriage this way. Remind him how very much you love him and then tell him you've made this appointment for him for therapy. Tell him you will do whatever he needs you to do but one thing you won't do is allow this to continue as is.


Definitely going to suggest him going back to therapy. I do still doubt he had sexual abuse but I'm no expert. I just don't see any other signs,but he needs someone to talk to.regardless of what the problem is.
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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Simone25 said:


> Definitely going to suggest him going back to therapy. I do still doubt he had sexual abuse but I'm no expert. I just don't see any other signs,but he needs someone to talk to.regardless of what the problem is.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Men bury it MUCH deeper. Particularly if victimized by a man.


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## Simone25 (Jun 6, 2012)

larry.gray said:


> Men bury it MUCH deeper. Particularly if victimized by a man.


Thinking back on his past there are some.things that could indicate that. He got heavy into drugs when he was around 12. He was also on anti depressants for a couple years and seeing a psychiatrist. As a child he moved around a lot, his parents divorced whe. He was 5 and his mom woul. Go from boyfriend to boyfriend and move him and his sister into their houses pretty quickly. 

The one thing that is throwing me off is the control thing. Most victims want to be in control of their bodies, and he's the opposite. He like s me to be in control and rarely takes the lead. So I'm wondering where that comes from.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

It's from the shame. CSA is even worse for boys because once they reach puberty, their body responds even through revulsion and self loathing. They guilt they feel is much much worse. The adolescent male's penis literally has a mind of it's own. So they become erect and ejaculate while being abused. Which makes them feel as if they are every bit as responsible for what happens as their abuser is. Add in the homophobic nature typical of growing boys and you have the perfect storm of seriously warped sexuality. A boy can't escape his pituitary gland sending signals to his groin. While a girl's budding sexuality is completely bound in her emotions, she can easily cut off any sexual response. A boy can't.

Depression and suicide rates for male CSA survivors is quite high particularly when the abuser was a known and trusted adult. If the abuser was Mom's boyfriend du jour, the helpless feelings associated with sex would mean the boy learn to never seek out sex and to actually feel good he would need complete control over his penis.


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## Knobbers (Sep 25, 2013)

This seems so odd.

Are you 100% sure he isn't gay? There is nothing wrong if he is, other than his inability to accept this as fact. Especially if he comes from a very conservative family, he will think he should be ashamed and will be afraid to admit it.

I don't want to push this theory on you, but things are not adding up. There is zero comparison between my hand and my wife's hand, vagina or mouth. When she touches me with anything its 100000000000 times better than anything I could do to myself.

I'm a huge gay rights supporter and I've heard this similar behavior from gay men who faked being straight to fit into what society considers normal. They married women and even fathered children with these women, but when they finally came out their wives weren't totally shocked due to similar scenarios as you are describing.

None the less, I wish you the best. It sounds like he could use some assistance to get to the bottom of this issue, whether its a mental hangup from past abuse or the technique you are using. I can't imagine the pain you both are going thru due to this. Please don't blame yourself and don't let him beat himself up too bad over it. The pressure he puts on himself to perform for you has to be immense and his confidence has to be shot. That in itself could cause him to not perform, or make it extremely difficult.


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## omega (Aug 2, 2011)

You say that you give him oral sex "all the time" but you also say you only have sex once/month - does the sex once/month NOT include the oral sex? How often is oral sex happening? If he's getting oral sex 5x/week, even a man with a normal drive may not need/want more than that. 

You know, lots of men can't orgasm from particular types of contact, just like lots of women can't either - and I don't buy it that men are so vastly different that they can't be "picky", because I've seen it with my own eyes. I have been with a guy (for like 5 years) who couldn't have an orgasm except from masturbating or PiV sex (so, oral, handjobs, anal did not work - he enjoyed them, but there was no orgasm ever) - in his case, he was in his 50s and had all kinds of issues (including bad ED and depression) and watching him masturbate was like watching the Energizer Bunny on acid - ain't no way any part of a woman's body can replicate that speed and, as you say, death-grip. Didn't look like any other man's masturbation that I'd ever seen before or since. If that's what a guy needs to get off, it makes a lot of sense that a woman can't get him off. I wouldn't jump to conclusions about him being a victim of child sexual abuse. It seems like a big jump to me.


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## CASE_Sensitive (Jul 22, 2013)

Was he traumatized by the baby's birth?


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## jdd (Aug 30, 2013)

Simone25 said:


> Have you ever heard of death grip? That's what I'm.referring to.


This may be the problem. There is a site called your brain on porn. I suggest you read through this site in depth and you will find guys that can't even maintain an erection with their partner (due to the over-stimulation of watching porn, the death grip, and edging). 

Have you tried to give him a hand job without any lubricant? 

Is he circumcised? If so, that may also be making him less sensitive and keeping the penis covered may help with that.

Are you absolutely sure that he isn't masturbating more often than you think?

He may feel very embarassed / shameful that he isn't able to ejacualte with you.


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## Huzzah (Sep 11, 2013)

Simone25 said:


> Being completely honest, his lack of interest in me is very hard to deal with. I'm a girl and we all know we need to feel wanted, and I don't. Any small bit of attention from another guy makes me happy. I know that sounds awful, but I'm being 100% honest. I'd never cheat, and I hate feeling like that. I'm looking for ways to make it better.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Don't ever say you would never cheat.....believe me I have been there. Sounds like you are in a tight spot with what would appear to be an inevitable conclusion of you needing your needs met. There is no shame in this but you need to stress to your husband that he needs to do something, as in go to a different doctor...I had a doc tell me that I didn't have low t then another one said I did. I got treatment and felt like superman. Not just in bed but in every aspect of my life. I had more energy for everything. It was almost dangerous because I almost banged some co-workers. If he is lazy in other areas of his life then his t levels are lowering...which is normal.


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