# Suspect wife possible cheating...snoop, find stash of vibrators



## thecw (Aug 24, 2011)

So I have recently started suspecting my the possibility of my wife cheating. It has wreaked havoc with my mental state and I am now alert and always looking. I am not normally a snoop, but today I did go through things and found her stash of vibrators that I had never known existed in over 6 years. Batteries are functional, so they get use. Not even sure how to react to this. I'm not completely offended, I just take it more as a sign how everyone has skeletons in the closet and you never know 100% of a person.

How would you/or how have you guys reacted when you find your wife's toys she has not ever mentioned to you?


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

I would be kinda pissed, if she's gonna use I wanna be in the room if possible. Even if I don't get any, it might just get me excited enough seeing her play with herself to get me off.

LOL, I would take one of the vibrator and leave it in a drawer you use for her to accidentally find. I wonder what she would say to that.


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

thecw said:


> How would you/or how have you guys reacted when you find your wife's toys she has not ever mentioned to you?


Probably jump up and down, smile from ear to ear and daydream about the newfound possiblities. 

Maybe spend every waking moment trying to figure out how to get this kinky out in the open. 

Probably buy some more batteries too. 

I''d certainly wonder if I looked stupid walking around with a perma-grin all day.


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## chattycathy (Aug 19, 2011)

Is she acting distant to you or odd in any other way?

If not, tell her you found the stash and think its cool. 

If she is acting distant.......snoop around more to see if there is another person in her life.


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## thecw (Aug 24, 2011)

Guys it just ended in a colossal failure. So I'm home early today, I jump in the shower, shave, smell good, and wait for her to come home to take her and go alpha on her. I make my move, she, acts all confused repeatedly saying what are you doing? To make a long story short, she kills the mood, does not go along with it, getting mad, resisting everything, I get angry and bust out her stash of vibrators and start yelling at her if she'd prefer plastic over the real thing, telling her I'm right here. She keeps saying I should not have gone through her things, thats they are very personal. She jumps up, grabs the vibrators where I've thrown them and runs out of the apartment as fast as she can. So sick of this.


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

Ugh, I am so sorry this happened. It does sound like she is having an affair, or at least has checked out of the marriage.

You two need to have a serious talk about whether or not your marriage has a future.


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

thecw said:


> She jumps up, grabs the vibrators where I've thrown them and runs out of the apartment as fast as she can. So sick of this.



Those vibrators must be expensive. Or, she has a fond attachment to them?


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

thecw said:


> Guys it just ended in a colossal failure.


OMG! BWWaaaa HAhahaha!!! ROFLMAO!!! 

I'm sorry dude. I didn't mean to LMAO. Your description of showering up, and getting in alpha mode and then DOH!!!!!! was epic. Im sure it wasn't funny on your end.

Off topic: So, why do you think she's cheating?


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## WhereAmI (Nov 3, 2010)

She left the apartment with nothing but her giant bag of vibrators? LOL She'll be back. If there is something other than her BOBs that have you concerned about cheating, keep your suspicions to yourself until you have proof. If you tell her she'll just become better at covering her tracks.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

CW--do you actually have proof she's cheating or you think vibrators = infidelity?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

WhereAmI said:


> She left the apartment with nothing but her giant bag of vibrators? LOL



Made me :rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## Darth Vader (Jan 2, 2011)

WhereAmI said:


> She left the apartment with nothing but her giant bag of vibrators? LOL She'll be back. If there is something other than her BOBs that have you concerned about cheating, keep your suspicions to yourself until you have proof. If you tell her she'll just become better at covering her tracks.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Correct, DON'T ask her if there's another man, or mention affairs, cheating, whatever! She would cover up! HHMMMM, seems strange that she would go ballistic over a bunch of vibrators!:scratchhead:

I'd do some very private investigating if I were you! Does she use the computer much? Does she have a deathgrip on her cell phone, like she never leaves it just lying around, won't let you see it?

Makes me suspicious!


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## HurtinginTN (Feb 22, 2011)

Damn, I'm sorry, dude. Certainly not the outcome you were hoping for. Hang in there. Lots of us have cheating wives. It sucks, but you are not alone.




WhereAmI said:


> If there is something other than her BOBs


I haven't seen that acronym. ? Bring Own Boyfriend?


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## Darth Vader (Jan 2, 2011)

> She left the apartment with nothing but her giant bag of vibrators? LOL





Jellybeans said:


> Made me :rofl::rofl::rofl:



Talk about having a one track mind!

Anyway, it's hard to say if your wife's stepping out on you or not, but, if she isn't, the vibrator thing/s may indicate that she's ripe for an affair! I dunno, maybe she's bored with the sex, not saying the poster isn't good at it or nothing, maybe she's wanting something exotic, but, I'm guessing here! 

Some people start affairs because of the excitement and great mind blowing sex at the expense of their spouse.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Eh, lots of women have and use vibrators. 

So, do you have proof she is cheating? Cause a vibrator (or a bag of them ) doesn't = cheating, CW. 

It DOES sound like you guys have communication problems.


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## WhereAmI (Nov 3, 2010)

HurtinginTN said:


> I haven't seen that acronym. ? Bring Own Boyfriend?


Battery operated boyfriend
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Pit-of-my-stomach said:


> Probably jump up and down, smile from ear to ear and daydream about the newfound possiblities.
> 
> Maybe spend every waking moment trying to figure out how to get this kinky out in the open.
> 
> ...


Omg Pit, this is the funniest thing I've read all day :rofl::rofl: I cracked up outloud.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

You havent said yet why you think she may be cheating. It could be she just likes to use toys but for whatever reason was too embarrassed to share with you. Lots of couples use toys to enhance sex, and there is nothing wrong with that. I understand you would feel angry she would keep this secret from you but toys are not cheating.


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## Darth Vader (Jan 2, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Eh, lots of women have and use vibrators.
> 
> So, do you have proof she is cheating? Cause a vibrator (or a bag of them ) doesn't = cheating, CW.
> 
> It DOES sound like you guys have communication problems.


Why doesn't the poster of this Thread go Back and re-read the helpful tips people gave him on the Last Thread he posted!

Yeah, I read it myself! And after doing so, I conclude that she IS screwing around on you! TOOO Many Red flags all over the place to ignor the advice people have given you on this site! Heck, even the GPS thing is a great start, does she takes the car even after one of these "fights"?


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

thecw said:


> So I have recently started suspecting my the possibility of my wife cheating. It has wreaked havoc with my mental state and I am now alert and always looking. I am not normally a snoop, but today I did go through things and found her stash of vibrators that I had never known existed in over 6 years. Batteries are functional, so they get use. Not even sure how to react to this. I'm not completely offended, I just take it more as a sign how everyone has skeletons in the closet and you never know 100% of a person.
> 
> How would you/or how have you guys reacted when you find your wife's toys she has not ever mentioned to you?


We have always been open about this type of stuff.


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

Darth Vader said:


> the vibrator thing/s may indicate that she's ripe for an affair!


I don't know if I can buy that logic. lol. I have hands, and lotion... I don't know if that makes me more vulnerable to an affair?... 

Does my suspicious use of conditioner in teh shower (dispite being bald) and a drawer full of sox without matches make me a sexual deviant, trolling for sin ? lol. 



Darth Vader said:


> I dunno, maybe she's bored with the sex


Maybe she discovered orgasm's rule?! and likes 'em?... I figured that out around 9th grade...

BTW, Im just razzin ya Darth, makin a funny. lol.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

This is the wife who repeatedly leaves the house overnight if they get into an argument. She just leaves and he has no idea where she goes. Stays gone all night.

So she grabbed her toys and left for the night? Wow. 

This is really weird behavior. We would think that there would not need to be a secret stash of toys. Why she kept them secret is a concern. Having kept them secret I can understand her feeling to a point. Maybe embarassment. Maybe she flat does not want to share with you. More concern. Thinking you are snooping ... you probably have scared her because she has more to hide you do not know about.

So we can at least say that you guys have intimacy issues. For sure some weird stuff is going on with her. My wife leaving for a night and me not knowing where she is going or at least where she went after the fact would be a deal breaker for me. This other stuff just makes you shake your head.

It does feel to me that she is leading a separate life from you.


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## Darth Vader (Jan 2, 2011)

Pit-of-my-stomach said:


> I don't know if I can buy that logic. lol. I have hands, and lotion... I don't know if that makes me more vulnerable to an affair?...
> 
> Does my suspicious use of conditioner in teh shower (dispite being bald) and a drawer full of sox without matches make me a sexual deviant, trolling for sin ? lol.
> 
> ...


I know, but this isn't a funny matter for the poster! I know he's still reading these posts right now! He needs to make a decision about the advice he received on his other thread!


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

Entropy3000 said:


> This is the wife who repeatedly leaves the house overnight if they get into an argument. She just leaves and he has no idea where she goes. Stays gone all night.


Oh, That one. Yeah, she's cheating. 

So now shes run out for the night and this time she has her *toys* with her? Ugggggh.

Install GPS trackers in BOB!!! = Win. lol.


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## Darth Vader (Jan 2, 2011)

Entropy3000 said:


> This is the wife who repeatedly leaves the house overnight if they get into an argument. She just leaves and he has no idea where she goes. Stays gone all night.


That's why if she takes the car, it's good for him to have the GPS tracker in the car....... I wonder, what would happen if his wife found out about this site and what he's been telling us about her...... I just got a feeling........


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## Darth Vader (Jan 2, 2011)

Pit-of-my-stomach said:


> Oh, That one. Yeah, she's cheating.
> 
> So now shes run out for the night and this time she has her *toys* with her? Ugggggh.
> 
> Install GPS trackers in BOB!!! = Win. lol.


You know, you really do have a sick sense of humor!:scratchhead:


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## Darth Vader (Jan 2, 2011)

Darth Vader said:


> That's why if she takes the car, it's good for him to have the GPS tracker in the car....... I wonder, what would happen if his wife found out about this site and what he's been telling us about her...... I just got a feeling........


I say this because he's on, the site says he on, and reading his current thread, yet, he doesn't post, strange......


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Darth Vader said:


> *That's why if she takes the car, it's good for him to have the GPS tracker in the car....... * I wonder, what would happen if his wife found out about this site and what he's been telling us about her...... I just got a feeling........


It would be worth doing that and then starting a little argument.


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

Darth Vader said:


> You know, you really do have a sick sense of humor!:scratchhead:


Yup. It's all part of my charm. 



Darth Vader said:


> I know, but this isn't a funny matter for the poster! I know he's still reading these posts right now! He needs to make a decision about the advice he received on his other thread!


Some levity can go a long way from time to time. Infidelity and pain are obviously not funny. But, a pinch of funny mixed in with the fire and brimestone... couldnt be the worst thing ever.

Doubt some humor casts scepticism on the validity of anyones advice.

;-)


sorry for the interuption.

I now return you to teh previously scheduled serious thread ....










Proceed....


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## Darth Vader (Jan 2, 2011)

Pit-of-my-stomach said:


> Yup. It's all part of my charm.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Yeah, I see where you're going, I would've started the humor thing as well, only much later when he had a direction he wanted to go in, he seems a little too unstable about what he wants to do at the moment. He's trying to get a feel as to what's going on.


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## Dadof3 (Mar 14, 2011)

Darth - sometimes when people use monikers as noteworthy as yours - I would expect the humor parts of the posts to be somewhat in character for your moniker.

That would bust me up more than anything, applying it to the sit at hand.


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## LuvMyH (Nov 11, 2009)

Why is this so funny to everyone? He suspects his wife is cheating. She's not having sex with him. He stumbles across something that potentially is part of a double life ( which we all know cheaters live). I would be worried that she may be using those during playtime with someone else. I hope not, but nobody here knows what his wife is doing with them. Including, unfortunately, her husband. Ugh! Not funny.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I don't think it's funny either and I'm always one to joke during bad times.

I think cw keeps chasing his tail and keeps confronting her without enough proof. 

Bunker down and control yourself - get into that computer, get her texts, get a VAR in the car, and a gps.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

thecw said:


> How would you/or how have you guys reacted when you find your wife's toys she has not ever mentioned to you?


This couldn`t happen to me.

I think you should be asking yourself why your wife feels the need to hide something like this from you.

Where does she get the idea this is something unacceptable to you?


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Darth Vader said:


> Correct, DON'T ask her if there's another man, or mention affairs, cheating, whatever! She would cover up! HHMMMM, seems strange that she would go ballistic over a bunch of vibrators!:scratchhead:


She didn`t go ballistic...he did!


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## Darth Vader (Jan 2, 2011)

tacoma said:


> She didn`t go ballistic...he did!


Well, OK! Thank you Dr. Phill for that little correction!

Where the heck is that thread poster.......


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## thecw (Aug 24, 2011)

Still here guys. I apologize I cant respond to each and everyone of you as much as I would like to. I appreciate that you guys find humor in this, and I really mean that. It's one of the few things keeping from going over the edge. None of this makes a whole lot of sense to you guys, even less to me. I am stunned, in shock, and unfortunately have a business meting to prepare for tomorrow so I'm trying to gain my composure and may not visit this thread until tomorrow afternoon. Thanks for the support as much as this looks like it going down like the Titanic.


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## thecw (Aug 24, 2011)

Stash was 6, btw.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Darth Vader said:


> Well, OK! Thank you Dr. Phill for that little correction!
> 
> Where the heck is that thread poster.......


I dunno but I answered before I realized who started this thread now I see why he went ballistic.

BUT...

He really needs to chill out, compose himself, and start digging for some real evidence because it`s there for sure.


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## Darth Vader (Jan 2, 2011)

tacoma said:


> I dunno but I answered before I realized who started this thread now I see why he went ballistic.
> 
> BUT...
> 
> He really needs to chill out, compose himself, and start digging for some real evidence because it`s there for sure.




6? Ok, there's something up! No pun intended!


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## cory275 (Aug 11, 2011)

lay off the vibrator thing unless you have never ever jerked off since you got married. I think a lot of ladies have BOBs and cheating is the furthest thing in their minds. If you really think she's cheating check her communication devices. Lap top, cell phone... Not her dresser... Geez


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

thecw said:


> I appreciate that you guys find humor in this, and I really mean that. It's one of the few things keeping from going over the edge. None of this makes a whole lot of sense to you guys, even less to me.


You got that wrong brother. Unfortunately, It does make perfect sense to most of us. 

for future reference, try to keep all of your stories in one thread it will help the whole thing to be more cohesive to some of us that cant stay here all day and dont know you well enough to instantly link these stories and your user name together...

someone shows up & says.. 

"_i think my wifes cheating, i found her dildo's_... Followed by a post saying _"miserable fail" _painting a picture like_..."So... I got off work early, showered up, threw on some old spice and some 70's porn music...,"_ and "_she got home and blew a gasket !! She stormed out with her garbage bag full of vibrators"...._

Without the other background info linking this story to the other established story... yeah... I found massive lol. As a matter of fact, Im still laughing about that picture in my head right now. But maybe Im just twisted like that. lol.

The advice we offered the thread several days ago may have helped ? 

Including...



Pit-of-my-stomach said:


> First, stop confronting her with every hunch and tidbit of information you find...
> 
> You have to get your "nets" in place first and as tough as it will be, you NOT YANK the HOOK the moment you get a nibble...


Sorry bro. Keep posting and for god's sake... listen to some of the people / advice given here. They (we) want to help.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Darth Vader said:


> 6? Ok, there's something up! No pun intended!


I dunno, my wifes toy collection puts 6 to shame.

Hell, my wifes toy collection puts most adult novelty stores to shame.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

CW,
Heres my take, her 1st secret the OM and her 2nd secret, her toys for OM. 

Well her 1st secret got real close to being exposed by you finding her second secret. This could easily be a possiblity just like she keeps her cell phone a secret her toys are also part of that realm of lies.

I'm thinking that her OM enjoyes these toys and you may have just uncovered a small part of her fantasy land...her other/2nd life she has with OM.

Think about it, it one thing to be ambaressed it onother thing to grap yout big bag of dildos and run out of the house. I suspect you would get the same results if you opened her ceel phone. Make sense?

Any thing that hase any relevence to the OM is going to be ..."touchy" for her.

IMHO secrets lead to more secrets that lead to more secret....replace the word secret with lies and you still have a cheater on your hands.

I can't think of no other reason to act in such (leave the house instead of giving an explaination) a way your wife did other then this "equipment" has a direct relation to her OM!


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## krismimo (Jan 26, 2011)

Ok Now settle down children, this is not about you this is about CW lets try to keep our focus on that. I agree with jelly beans I don't think she is cheating the one thing about vibrators is they can be addicting to use afterwhile, you can get straight to the point in a matter of mins or seconds. 

You sound like you have more of an intimacy issue, the one thing that are bad about VIBES is if you use them too much you become sort of numb it becomes harder and harder to be pleased with "human contact" because your body has adjusted to another level of pleasure. And please correct me if I'm wrong but you havn't mention any solid or concrete evidence that she is cheating. 

I also think she was embarrassed, there is a diffrence between being embarrased and being guilty and in This situation they go hand in hand because she was embarrased that you found the VIBES then she felt guilty because you found the VIBES. If you feel your wife is cheating then you may to have to do some digging around, but it would look bad if you just out right accuse her especially when there is really.. no proof that she hasn't done anything except buy some Vibes. 

Was her reaction a bit over the top? Yes but hopefully you two can talk like adults without screaming and yelling and get to the real issue at hand... You two.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

I bet when she comes back (Probably tomorrow because she`ll spend tonight with the OM) and you ask where the toys went she`ll claim she threw them away because you`re such an *******.

Of course she did no such thing, they`re actually safe and secure, in the OM`s bedside table drawer.

The batteries are probably dead now though or will be after tonight.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

krismimo said:


> And please correct me if I'm wrong but you havn't mention any solid or concrete evidence that she is cheating.


Read his other thread...

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping...hen-your-gut-tells-you-possible-cheating.html

She`s cheating.

I was on the same track as you when I first read this thread but you really need to read the link above for context.

I`m no longer confused now.


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## krismimo (Jan 26, 2011)

SERIOUSLY I WOULD TAKE SOME SPECULATION LIKE A GRAIN OF SALT DON'T JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS, IT WILL MAKE THINGS WORSE GET SOME PROOF!! BTW SO TIRED OF PEOPLE THINKING EVERY SINGLE THING HAS TO BE CHEATING GEEZE... That is not ALWAYS the case. Good Luck CW and remember man get PROOF first!


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

krismimo said:


> SERIOUSLY I WOULD TAKE SOME SPECULATION LIKE A GRAIN OF SALT DON'T JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS, IT WILL MAKE THINGS WORSE GET SOME PROOF!! BTW SO TIRED OF PEOPLE THINKING EVERY SINGLE THING HAS TO BE CHEATING GEEZE... That is not ALWAYS the case. Good Luck CW and remember man get PROOF first!


Psst...read the link in my last reply.


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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

krismimo said:


> SERIOUSLY I WOULD TAKE SOME SPECULATION LIKE A GRAIN OF SALT DON'T JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS, IT WILL MAKE THINGS WORSE GET SOME PROOF!! BTW SO TIRED OF PEOPLE THINKING EVERY SINGLE THING HAS TO BE CHEATING GEEZE... That is not ALWAYS the case. Good Luck CW and remember man get PROOF first!


STOP YELLING AT ME! :rofl: In his last thread it seems she is up to something she doesn't want him to know about.


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## krismimo (Jan 26, 2011)

There were times I was right and there were times I was wrong, he is Not You tacoma in some ways CW he just flying off the handle I"m not saying that he is not validated for feeling this way but it is always best to make sure! If and when he finds what he needs to find than go ahead and see what happnes, the problem in this forrum is sometimes people overtly intrude their experinces so heavily on other people that they refuse to see other alternatives....Like... Proof. I dont need to read a link been there done that. And not taking her side but we are just getting one side of this we don't know the whole story of what is going on. Just one side of this thing that is it. In life how I see it don't jum to conclusions, remember that ol saying when you assume.... you make a........


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## krismimo (Jan 26, 2011)

I wasn't yelling LOL


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

The OM may not have the toys, hence the reason she had them, possibly OMW or OM GF, or OM is a player and doesn't want her toys used by others.

CW out of all her friend were would she stash them? Is it possible the toys are stashed at he parent or sisters?

I hope you have gotten the GPS, VAR, and keylogger in place.

Sorry bro you should have left them were you found them..this being a perfect place to set up spy gear for when she goes to retrieve her toys and the purpose for them...most importantly how she uses them with.

Please calm down and get your self back into stealth mood, **** happen and you thought it would have worked out for you, but again you just invaded her secret second life and she ran!

Please make up a dam good excuse for way you found them, the last thing you need is her thinking your on to her. right no you came real close...to close for comfort of finding out her secret life.

Tell her you missed placed what ever "your stuff" if she thinks you are on to her she will take it deeper and there by making it more difficult to confront with proof.

Do I really need to explain why you need proof or have your reread your own threads?


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

tacoma said:


> I dunno, my wifes toy collection puts 6 to shame.
> 
> Hell, my wifes toy collection puts most adult novelty stores to shame.


Yeah, but I am assuming these are used as a couple some or most of the time. No?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Re d flags that were posted on his other thread clearly indicate that an effort to investigate should accure.
This and his gut should tell him to look.

But why would look in your wife closet for the OM.... when she isn't even home?

CW, when we talk about spying and getting proof we are talking about text, voice, locations, cell and cc statements. Granted a 2nd cell phone or some soiled panties may have been found, but secret big bag of vibrators....that some scandles equipment


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

krismimo said:


> I wasn't yelling LOL


Do you find it odd that she leaves the house and stays gone all night. Will not say where she is going or where she was? Wjen pressed she says she stayed at a hotel.

These seems to be when they argue. 

I am taking it that she is gone now with her toys.

Is that right?


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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

I truly hope it turns out to be nothing...but so many many of these "is she cheating on me" threads turn out the same.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

1, 6, or 12, the amount is nothing compared to the secret she has had for all these years.

roughly speaking a good vib. is $100, low end $40, avg. $70

$70 x 6 = $420 worth of "equipment spent on OM!!!!!!


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

the guy said:


> Re d flags that were posted on his other thread clearly indicate that an effort to investigate should accure.
> This and his gut should tell him to look.
> 
> But why would look in your wife closet for the OM.... when she isn't even home?
> ...


I would do that. looking for something suspicious. A journal, hotel receipts, pictures, lingerie that I never saw before. There can be a whole other wardobe for someones other life. Another cell phone. So yeah if I was going to snoop I would do that kind of snooping too. You don't know what you might find until you find it. Him finding a secret stash fo vibrators is interesting for a number of reasons.

I would definitely put a GPS on that car.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

I take it she's going to disappear for the night again and not tell you where she is, then say she went to a hotel. Isn't this the wife that separated for 4 months, then comes back and wants to try all kinds of new kama sutra type sexual positions? That she's the one who always gets mad and leaves in a huff and doesn't come back? 

Since you live in an apartment, the throwing her sh!t on the lawn woudn't work. Just have her bags packed and waiting just inside the door when she comes back, and she will, from wherever she goes.

I really don't know why you call it snooping, as if that's a bad thing when she's displaying all these red flags. Its called investigating and its justified considering the behaviors she's displaying thats endangering the marriage.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Well said E-

Justified investigation for an indangered marriage...with secret.

How about;

Validation for self protection b/c I keep getting hurt.

Or

Confirming that Im not getting burned so I'm not out in the cold while OM sleeps in my bed with my W.

If someone is not going to meet there contract don't you think you diserve the right to protect ones selve by investigating the possiblity of being ripped off by that person?

My new marriage vows " to love and charish, in sickness and in health, and to confirm your loyalty by snooping"


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

krismimo said:


> I"m not saying that he is not validated for feeling this way but it is always best to make sure!


That`s all everyone has been advising him to do as the red flags demand it.



> If and when he finds what he needs to find than go ahead and see what happnes, the problem in this forrum is sometimes people overtly intrude their experinces so heavily on other people that they refuse to see other alternatives..


I understand your sentiment but you`re barking up the wrong tree here.
I`m not here due to any infidelity in my life.'
There are many reasons to frequent a marriage forum.



> ..Like... Proof.


Yes, exactly and I think thats why the OP is getting some harsh advise in this thread.
We`d like to see him actually do something about his situation Actually find that evidence.

It may be a poor choice of motivational technique I`ll admit.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

He is doing something...hes finding big bags of vibrators THAT HE DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT!

Sorry for yelling.

Next he'll find large amount of texting from statemants

Then he'll hear his wife making out with OM from the VAR he planted in her car.

Then he'll know who and where the OM is when he plants a GPS.

Then he can confront her with specifics that will show his wife that he knows that she knows that he knows.



Sorry for shouting.


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## krismimo (Jan 26, 2011)

Ok so next time I hear a guy that has a private stash of porn hidden somewhere from his wife then I will accuse him of cheating.


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

krismimo said:


> Ok so next time I hear a guy that has a private stash of porn hidden somewhere from his wife then I will accuse him of cheating.


WTF are you doing?!?!?

Seriously!?!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

WhereAmI said:


> She left the apartment with nothing but her giant bag of vibrators? LOL She'll be back.


:lol::lol::lol:

I just snorted my Coke.


:lol:

Not the drug.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Check her panties tomorrow morning when she comes back from het night at the OM
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Shaggy said:


> Check her panties tomorrow morning when she comes back from het night at the OM
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:iagree:

Get a semen detection kit!


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

If she is staying out all night and you have no clue where she is you have BIG BIG BIG problems.



that_girl said:


> :lol::lol::lol:
> 
> I just snorted my Coke.
> 
> ...


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## HurtinginTN (Feb 22, 2011)

krismimo said:


> Ok so next time I hear a guy that has a private stash of porn hidden somewhere from his wife then I will accuse him of cheating.



The vibrators aren't the reason for the suspicion of cheating. They add to the suspicion since they are of a sexual nature that she was hiding from her husband. Are vibrators inherently bad? No. I've bought several to take home over the years and we used to get the goody bag out on occassion. (I bought them, she used them, who gets them on the asset distribution? lol)

OP, sorry you are going through this. The leaving and not coming home is much more serious than having some playthings in the closet.


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

krismimo said:


> Ok so next time I hear a guy that has a private stash of porn hidden somewhere from his wife then I will accuse him of cheating.


:scratchhead:
You know, it's one thing to be ignorant. It's quite another to be willfully and indignantly ignorant. As other posters have said, the OP has another thread where he describes a litany of red flags suggesting infidelity. A cache of secret sex toys is just one more red flag added to the host of others.

If you don't want to go read the other thread, that's fine. But you should recognize that you have a more limited understanding of this situation than other posters based on your refusal to discover the facts.


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## krismimo (Jan 26, 2011)

It was sarcasm people lighten up geeze.


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## krismimo (Jan 26, 2011)

I never refused any facts all I HAVE been saying is to make sure your sure! Man people dont listen in here. As for you CW good luck and I hope that you find the answers your looking for good or bad.


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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

krismimo said:


> It was sarcasm people lighten up geeze.


You know I was kidding about the yelling thing right?


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## krismimo (Jan 26, 2011)

I know you were Joe but some people are rude and condescending in here. And god forbid that you dnt have to agree with someone but I was never rude or called anyone names, nor put anyone down especially when they take what I said Out of context.


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