# Husband wants a girlfriend



## Indgo (Dec 25, 2014)

Today my husband said he wanted a girlfriend
I said why because there's no spark.passion,romance

I said we can work on it he said fine but still wants a girlfriend
I said what is wrong with me aren't enough
he goes i love you and we get along and the sex is good
but i want a girlfriend and then i go should we see someone to
talk about it he goes no

I'm so lost and just dont understand I feel he is hiding something.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Ya his girl friend!


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Today you should tell your husband you want a divorce.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

He already has a girlfriend.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Check out Weightlifter's thread about gathering evidence.

If you are being betrayed you have a right to know.

Keep it on the down low and start spying...look at bank statements and phone logs.

Have you noticed any other red flags with regards to cheating? Cuz asking for a GF is one huge one.


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## Indgo (Dec 25, 2014)

the guy said:


> Check out Weightlifter's thread about gathering evidence.
> 
> If you are being betrayed you have a right to know.
> 
> ...


He wont let me lok at his cell phone he has a galxay 3 ad i cant get password and hes cell phone through sprint so i cant get cell
records.


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## Indgo (Dec 25, 2014)

ConanHub said:


> He already has a girlfriend.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I believe he doenst have one because he works nights at the postoffice and hes always home.


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## Indgo (Dec 25, 2014)

Prodigal said:


> Today you should tell your husband you want a divorce.



I Love my husband may i ask why i should ask for a divorce


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Indgo said:


> I Love my husband may i ask why i should ask for a divorce


Gee, I dunno ... he wants a gf, which means he wants to insert his penis into another woman.

DUH.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I work nights, too, and I'm always home if I'm not working. Women also work at night. If I wanted a girlfriend, it wouldn't be hard to find. Some of the friendliest females work at night. Also, if he works at the only post office on earth without a female, he probably eats during his shift. If he's telling you he wants a girlfriend, he's probably already picked one out.


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## Indgo (Dec 25, 2014)

unbelievable said:


> I work nights, too, and I'm always home if I'm not working. Women also work at night. If I wanted a girlfriend, it wouldn't be hard to find. Some of the friendliest females work at night. Also, if he works at the only post office on earth without a female, he probably eats during his shift. If he's telling you he wants a girlfriend, he's probably already picked one out.



you are right


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## Bruticus (Dec 18, 2014)

Indgo said:


> Today my husband said he wanted a girlfriend
> I said why because there's no spark.passion,romance
> 
> I said we can work on it he said fine but still wants a girlfriend
> ...


i'm not convinced he already has a girlfriend. most husbands who would "want a girlfriend too" wouldn't be so blunt and upfront about it, so maybe instead of being the more common type who runs around behind her back, he's just putting it all out there. if you're looking for a silver lining, that might be it. but unfortunately, it doesn't look like he's interested in really making this marriage work either. if that's the case, your marriage could be doomed regardless of your efforts....unless you're one who might "be into" the whole girlfriend thing. i'm sure they exist.


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## lovesmanis (Oct 9, 2014)

Tell him that he can go get a gf after you get a divorce.

If he is missing that spark but has everything else then he is going to cheat.


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## Lostme (Nov 14, 2014)

Indgo said:


> I Love my husband may i ask why i should ask for a divorce


Because he wants/has a girlfriend and he has told you there is nothing you can do about it.:scratchhead:


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## Roselyn (Sep 19, 2010)

How old are you and your husband? Do you have any children?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Indgo said:


> I believe he doenst have one because he works nights at the postoffice and hes always home.


There are most likely women who work that same shift at the post office. It's very common for affairs to happen at the workplace these days.

How much time does he spend on the phone and texting when he's at home? How much time on the computer?


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## chaos (Mar 9, 2012)

Just like spouses who bring the idea of an open marriage, his bluntness in telling you he wants a girlfriend is because *he already has one*. He just wants your blessing so that he won't feel like the bad guy stabbing you in the back without your knowledge. Wake up and smell the coffee, you've got a brazen cheater who enjoys rubbing it in your face.


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## LeGenDary_Man (Sep 25, 2013)

Indgo said:


> He wont let me lok at his cell phone he has a galxay 3 ad i cant get password and hes cell phone through sprint so i cant get cell
> records.


This is RED FLAG. Your husband is possibly having an affair.


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

Are you by any chance from Brazil?


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

Did he tell you why he wanted a girlfriend? My ex was a little less blatant with his words for the same desires. He tried to convince me that it would be fun to experiment with wife swapping and having another woman join us in bed. He tried to get me to like other women he was attracted to. I wanted nothing of any of it. After 7 years of marriage I found out he had been cheating on me from the very start of our marriage. If I were you, I don't think a married man who desires a girlfriend is worth staying with. Do not take this personally but do realize his lack of devotion to you. That doesn't mean you deserve it or that you have done anything wrong. It just shows his personality and what he is capable of.


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## Indgo (Dec 25, 2014)

I talk to my husband agian last night he told me he has been depressed and that i told him i will divorce you and he deostn want 
that and he was like what am i thinking he feels hes going throught something right know and he saw how hurt i was.

i still dont trust him and i told him im thinking about getting a divorce just for the fact of him mentiong a grilfriend is a red flag tag.
he said he wish he had never told me

i ask him do you have a girlfriend he said no

he talk to me and told me how he was feeling and about
himself.

I know its not my fault.


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## Indgo (Dec 25, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> There are most likely women who work that same shift at the post office. It's very common for affairs to happen at the workplace these days.
> 
> How much time does he spend on the phone and texting when he's at home? How much time on the computer?


no hes not on his phone texting and as far as the the computer its in our bedroom i see whats hes doing he just plays his clash of clans he doenst search on the internet
and im home all the time im a stay at home mom.

and far as him going any where he doesnt he go to the store pick up the kids spend time with his family and thats it
he has gone out to the bar 2times this year

thats why i say he deosnt have a grilfriend.


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

Possibly he is bored? Have you done anything to bring excitement into the relationship? Are you loving toward him? Is he loving toward you? Have either of you tried making things in bed more exciting? Lingere, sex toys, role playing, different sexual positions? Have either of you tried dating each other again? Just go on dates once a week? Get a hotel room?


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## Indgo (Dec 25, 2014)

DayDream said:


> Possibly he is bored? Have you done anything to bring excitement into the relationship? Are you loving toward him? Is he loving toward you? Have either of you tried making things in bed more exciting? Lingere, sex toys, role playing, different sexual positions? Have either of you tried dating each other again? Just go on dates once a week? Get a hotel room?


we have done some freaky stuff lol but lately its been about him working and we dont go out we use to have fun but kids and work 
money issues.

t we going to make time for date night.

everybody saying he already gt a girlfriend and im like no hes home all the time if he has a girlfriend he must be seening her her for 15 or 20 mintues.


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

Indgo said:


> DayDream said:
> 
> 
> > Possibly he is bored? Have you done anything to bring excitement into the relationship? Are you loving toward him? Is he loving toward you? Have either of you tried making things in bed more exciting? Lingere, sex toys, role playing, different sexual positions? Have either of you tried dating each other again? Just go on dates once a week? Get a hotel room?
> ...


Maybe he has a crush on someone else? But has not acted on it? If so, time to step up your game at home and show him what he will be missing. If you can't go out, spice things up at home. I assume you are from a different culture than I because of your accent. I am not sure how other cultures are in the romance department, but I would buy a bunch of candles, put on something he would consider sexy, and surprise him either when he gets home or when he goes to bed. Liven things up some. For both of you. Things might have just got stale.


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## LeGenDary_Man (Sep 25, 2013)

Did your husband let you check his cellphone? Why it is _password_-protected?


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

OP,
Although I do not condone this method of coercion, is it possible that his request for a GF is a desperate, albeit misdirected, effort to force some sort of response from you? Is there a chance that he is so in need of passion and desire from you that he thought jealousy was a plausible means to an end? You indicated he actually does not have a girlfriend so I posit this possibility for your consideration.


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

NoChoice said:


> OP,
> Although I do not condone this method of coercion, is it possible that his request for a GF is a desperate, albeit misdirected, effort to force some sort of response from you? Is there a chance that he is so in need of passion and desire from you that he thought jealousy was a plausible means to an end? You indicated he actually does not have a girlfriend so I posit this possibility for your consideration.


But she told him they could work on it and he said he still wanted a girlfriend.


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## Indgo (Dec 25, 2014)

NoChoice said:


> OP,
> Although I do not condone this method of coercion, is it possible that his request for a GF is a desperate, albeit misdirected, effort to force some sort of response from you? Is there a chance that he is so in need of passion and desire from you that he thought jealousy was a plausible means to an end? You indicated he actually does not have a girlfriend so I posit this possibility for your consideration.


 I think he said it becasue he wanted to upset me he has been depressed and he doesnt like how his life turned out personally

and he wants passion, romance ,spontuous he said no spark he thinks that it happens in all marrigge he wants that new feelingds when you first meet a person and have sex with someone the first time and he feels thats gone between us he said hes in love with me and the sex is good.

and its true the passion spark is gone and the spontaneous is gone because we both have been so caught up with the kids and work and finances we get along great i mean we laugh together we talk about 
anything

the thing is we talk about sex alot we talk about it more then do it
we have sex maybe once a month we let everything get in the way between us.

my daughter sleeps in our bed which ive been trying to get her out of my bed. his day offs suck he has wednesday and thrusdays off
the kids go to school those days so planning night out on the town
is hard.

we don't go out alone on dates i think the last time we went out and we had a great time is our anniversary.

He told me he would not get a girlfriend that he doesnt want to hurt me. I think he wants a girlfriend to do all things he wants to do and have spontaneous and passion sex.

but the thing is i told him we can do stuff together so we talked and
we are going to try and put us first.


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

Indgo said:


> I think he said it becasue he wanted to upset me he has been depressed and he doesnt like how his life turned out personally
> 
> and he wants passion, romance ,spontuous he said no spark he thinks that it happens in all marrigge he wants that new feelingds when you first meet a person and have sex with someone the first time and he feels thats gone between us he said hes in love with me and the sex is good.
> 
> ...


I wish you the best of luck.


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## Indgo (Dec 25, 2014)

DayDream said:


> I wish you the best of luck.


 thanks


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Indgo said:


> no hes not on his phone texting and as far as the the computer its in our bedroom i see whats hes doing he just plays his clash of clans he doenst search on the internet
> and im home all the time im a stay at home mom.
> 
> and far as him going any where he doesnt he go to the store pick up the kids spend time with his family and thats it
> ...


Most people cheat with people who they work with. He's found someone at work who turns him on and you're just a housewife and mom now. You're not 'sexy' any more because of that. Most men are more sexually driven than women - you're now nesting and caring for a child/children and your focus is now on your kids and home. HE still wants a sexy daring person who turns him on.

Are you still being that person for him? Or are you now turning him down because you're 'too tired' after being around kids all day? Are you initiating? Are you keeping things exciting in the bedroom?


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Indgo said:


> he wants passion, romance ,spontuous he said no spark he thinks that it happens in all marrigge he wants that new feelingds when you first meet a person and have sex with someone the first time and he feels thats gone between us he said hes in love with me and the sex is good.
> 
> and its true the passion spark is gone and the spontaneous is gone because we both have been so caught up with the kids and work and finances we get along great i mean we laugh together we talk about
> anything
> ...


NO WONDER!

Good grief, woman, get that child out of your bed. He has been REPLACED in your life and he knows it. No wonder he's so unhappy. Once a month? At your age, you should be doing it 2 or 3 times A WEEK. 

Do you ever watch Supernanny? This is one of THE main topics in all her shows - the parent is too 'weak' to make the child sleep in her own bed, and thus the marriage falls apart. Watch this clip. You have to prepare for one night where you will do nothing but ensure that your kid stays in her bed, even if you have to put her back in there 50 times in one night. She'll eventually give up and realize that YOUR bed is no longer HER bed. Do it tonight.
Video clips, Techniques and Advice from the Supernanny Television (TV) ShowTV Clips - Stay in Bed Technique


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

I completely agree with Turnera. 

You MUST share your bed with your husband if you want to have sparks between you! Your child has NO business sleeping in your marriage bed!

It is up to you and your husband to keep that passion alive. You must learn to SEE and HEAR each other ever day. You must appreciate that your partner is the most important person in your world. You must show that appreciation and excitement every day. He must show this to you and you must show it to him!


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## Thebes (Apr 10, 2013)

Indgo said:


> I believe he doenst have one because he works nights at the postoffice and hes always home.


Are you sure he is working?


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## Thebes (Apr 10, 2013)

Put the daughter in her own bed and lock the bedroom door.

How old is she BTW?


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## Indgo (Dec 25, 2014)

turnera said:


> Most people cheat with people who they work with. He's found someone at work who turns him on and you're just a housewife and mom now. You're not 'sexy' any more because of that. Most men are more sexually driven than women - you're now nesting and caring for a child/children and your focus is now on your kids and home. HE still wants a sexy daring person who turns him on.
> 
> Are you still being that person for him? Or are you now turning him down because you're 'too tired' after being around kids all day? Are you initiating? Are you keeping things exciting in the bedroom?


 No I dont turn him down for sex. we talk about it more then having sex
meaning we talk nasty to eachother and talk about we going to have sex
but my daughter always ends up in the bed.

and i do keep it interesting.


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## Indgo (Dec 25, 2014)

Thebes said:


> Put the daughter in her own bed and lock the bedroom door.
> 
> How old is she BTW?



shes 7 i know to old to be in my bed we didnt mine it at first and years just gone by.


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## Indgo (Dec 25, 2014)

Thebes said:


> Are you sure he is working?


yes hes the only one working


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

Indgo said:


> turnera said:
> 
> 
> > Most people cheat with people who they work with. He's found someone at work who turns him on and you're just a housewife and mom now. You're not 'sexy' any more because of that. Most men are more sexually driven than women - you're now nesting and caring for a child/children and your focus is now on your kids and home. HE still wants a sexy daring person who turns him on.
> ...


I don't like to use the words "nasty" or "dirty" to describe anything sexual. I think they demean a beautiful thing. JMO. Sorry...pet peave of mine. I get what you are saying though.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Indgo said:


> No I dont turn him down for sex. we talk about it more then having sex
> meaning we talk nasty to eachother and talk about we going to have sex
> but my daughter always ends up in the bed.
> 
> and i do keep it interesting.


You mean he only asks you for sex once a month?


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## Indgo (Dec 25, 2014)

turnera said:


> You mean he only asks you for sex once a month?


 no he doesnt ask for sex once a month 
more then that and we both want to but we end up not having sex.
we talk about it more then having sex.


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

Indgo said:


> turnera said:
> 
> 
> > You mean he only asks you for sex once a month?
> ...


Actions speak louder than words. Take action, woman! If he don't take the reins take them from him and just do it. I have a feeling you are both waiting for each other to initiate actual sex...not just verbal.


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## Indgo (Dec 25, 2014)

DayDream said:


> Actions speak louder than words. Take action, woman! If he don't take the reins take them from him and just do it. I have a feeling you are both waiting for each other to initiate actual sex...not just verbal.


 yea that's what it is but are daughter in our bed doesn't help, last night she was in her room i woke up and there she was in our bed I need to lock my door. Tonight shes in her room.


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

You know...I was just thinking about it and...I'd be pissed if my partner up and told me he wanted a girlfriend all out of the blue like that. Especially if he said "I want one anyway." After you say you both can work it out. What an *******!


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

Indgo said:


> DayDream said:
> 
> 
> > Actions speak louder than words. Take action, woman! If he don't take the reins take them from him and just do it. I have a feeling you are both waiting for each other to initiate actual sex...not just verbal.
> ...


By all means...get a lock.


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## Indgo (Dec 25, 2014)

DayDream said:


> You know...I was just thinking about it and...I'd be pissed if my partner up and told me he wanted a girlfriend all out of the blue like that. Especially if he said "I want one anyway." After you say you both can work it out. What an *******!


 Trust me im not happy about that and I let him know
he was afraid i was going to leave him . I wanted to leave just to get away for awhile but i cant do that to my kids.

He said i thought i could tell you anything I was like you can but
I may not agree with it and this is one of them.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Indgo said:


> no he doesnt ask for sex once a month
> more then that and we both want to but we end up not having sex.
> we talk about it more then having sex.


So you're saying you want to have lots of sex and your daughter keeps you from having sex? 

Whose fault is that?

Yours!

Of course he wants a girlfriend. You have consistently proven for the last 7 years that he is no longer your first concern. Do you have any idea what that does to a man's ego?

Did you watch the video I attached? It's not rocket science. Start it tonight.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

It just magically doesn't happen. Your daughter just appears in your bed and foils your plans? Wow, maybe you should send her to Hogwarts!


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Indgo said:


> yea that's what it is but are daughter in our bed doesn't help, last night she was in her room i woke up and there she was in our bed I need to lock my door. Tonight shes in her room.


Did you watch the video? When she gets up, you guide her to her room. When she gets up again, you guide her back to her room. And again. And again. And again.


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## Indgo (Dec 25, 2014)

turnera said:


> So you're saying you want to have lots of sex and your daughter keeps you from having sex?
> 
> Whose fault is that?
> 
> ...


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## Indgo (Dec 25, 2014)

turnera said:


> Did you watch the video? When she gets up, you guide her to her room. When she gets up again, you guide her back to her room. And again. And again. And again.


 I know how to get my daughter in her bed we both allowed her to sleep in our bed.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Sure you both allowed it. And now your H wants a girlfriend.


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## Indgo (Dec 25, 2014)

turnera said:


> Sure you both allowed it. And now your H wants a girlfriend.


 yea but he told me he doenst want one and that he was going through something i had ask him again and he said no, so i have a choice to believe him or leave him.


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## Indgo (Dec 25, 2014)

WorkingOnMe said:


> It just magically doesn't happen. Your daughter just appears in your bed and foils your plans? Wow, maybe you should send her to Hogwarts!


lol yea if i could send her to Howarts i would


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

Your husband sounds desperate to shock you out of your mindset that you have valid excuses for letting your marriage go down the toilet.

Instead of concentrating on what is stopping you from having a good relationship, why don't you concentrate on solving the problems that are getting in your way, and then do it. Stop complaining about it and just fix it.

I don't mean to sound nasty. I've let the excuses pile up and my marriage get put on the back burner, so I know how easy it is. I also know how easy it is to fix once you put your mind to it. You focus on what you want to change and you go full steam ahead. 

1) Get daughter into her own bed
2) Have sex


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

He doesn't want to leave you OR get a girlfriend. He wants you to love him and care about him and show him he MATTERS to you. And the first way to do that is to keep the 7 year old out of the bedroom. You may not be aware of it, but most men equate sex to love. If you don't have sex with him A LOT - NO MATTER WHAT the reason - he stops feeling loved. At your age, he probably wants sex at least 3 or 4 times a week. Imagine how unloved he feels at this point. How replaced. 

I'm not blaming you. We don't come with instruction manuals; we just learn this stuff over time. So I'm sharing what I've learned. I'm trying to help you see how to change things.

Did it work last night? Did you put her back in her room when she got out?


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Now I know that there is no direct evidence of this. But if you cannot tell your SEVEN year old with plain old English words, stay in your own bed and have it stick, you likely have other permissive discipline issues that are causing your husband not to feel like a priority. 

If this is the case, it is best for both your child AND your marriage to change that.

Amazon.com: Discipline for LIfe: Getting it Right with Children eBook: Madelyn Swift, V. R. Ryland: Kindle Store

Setting Limits: How to Raise Responsible, Independent Children by Providing Clear Boundaries (Revised and Expanded Second Edition): Robert J. Mackenzie: 0086874512122: Amazon.com: Books

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk: Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish: 9781451663884: Amazon.com: Books


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## lordfire00 (Jun 28, 2014)

*Re: Re: Husband wants a girlfriend*



Indgo said:


> He wont let me lok at his cell phone he has a galxay 3 ad i cant get password and hes cell phone through sprint so i cant get cell
> records.


U dont need to see his phone to see call logs. Just register acct on sprint.com and u can see the whole call log.


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

it is amazing how men wake up at 7, 15 , 20 ....

there must be a secret ...

but i always believe it starts this way , 

when a man feels that he is the last concern his wife will think off ...
he will seek another nest ...

my wife loves me a lot , but for fifteen years i was in the bottom of priorities , 

she loved me from the heat of her bottom


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Zouz said:


> when a man feels that he is the last concern his wife will think off ...
> he will seek another nest ...


Happens all the time.

What he did by telling you this is his 'last resort' before succumbing to some other women's attention.


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## totallywarped (Jan 26, 2013)

Indgo said:


> I believe he doenst have one because he works nights at the postoffice and hes always home.


his girlfriend works with him at the postoffice


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## totallywarped (Jan 26, 2013)

ok I've read through the comments now. I still think he IS cheating and it's someone from work. He hides his phone so you don't see the text messages from her. He's asking for a gf because he needs your permission to be able to spend more time with his gf. Dump him.


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

dump him is a very easy word ...
If you really love your husband ; save him instead ...

wether he started cheating or not ; he seems not a jerk ..

I don't want to defend him ; but I tell you that at this stage , the grass looks greener from his point of view toward the OW wether she is there or not yet .

the fact that he is trying to get a green pass while he could have hidden it is that he feels a bit guilty about it .

my opinion , If you really love him ; get him back to his nest ; don't do like what my wife did :

she didn't move an inche while I was close to a PA ( I told her about it); It is me who escaped before the big event ...

I returned back to my wife and confessed about it ; 

i am not telling you to compete with the other W; you need to address all issues in your life before even you change your intimate approach or response; otherwise he will feel deceived again ,

start by resolving all issues that are the daily issues ; starting from your girl habbits ; his involvment ; your responsibilities ; shake the dust from your image of a typical housewife who is just supposed to do her duties.

work on yourself for yourself : gym , hobbies , etc ...
and make it clear about discipline of your kid , you and him ....

good luck


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

check the thread :

Never thought I would be there 

From my point of view the OP is the one suffering now...

everybody advised her to hang him and divorce him ...

he could be worth it ; But is it really the case in your case ?


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## Indgo (Dec 25, 2014)

totallywarped said:


> his girlfriend works with him at the postoffice


 well they not doing much cause he only gets a 30 minute lunch break they doing it in the car cause where the post office is at the hotels are expensive and there about 10 minutes away

that's why i say he doesn't have a girlfriend if he does he not sleeping with her and he must be using his phone in the car which i am going to get a var to put in the car.

He doesn't go anywhere everybody keep saying he has one i sure he doesn't have a girlfriend.


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## Indgo (Dec 25, 2014)

Zouz said:


> check the thread :
> 
> Never thought I would be there
> 
> ...


i feel hes worth it and the thang is i have no proof and if i cant trust him i shouldn't be with him but right now i dont trust him

if i could get access to his phone he has a galaxy 3 phone and 
theres a option to get in the phone by email and i found his email which is a gmail so i go online to gmail account and try
guess his password you can reset the password but it gets sent to another email account and i know the other two but he might have one i don't know about.

I did read weightlifters thread which had good info
and there is a couple of programs to get info off the phone but most of them is you need to download the program on the phone there is one called teensafe which you dont need access to the phone i might try that.


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## totallywarped (Jan 26, 2013)

you don't have to be having sex to fall in love with someone else. He wants a physical relationship with her but needs to be able to spend more time with her. That is why he asked you for a gf.


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## totallywarped (Jan 26, 2013)

Why don't you just tell him you believe he may already have a gf, ask him to unlock his phone for you NOW and if he refuses you have your answer. Refusal=hiding text message=emotional affair


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

Or what about you ignore the issue for a short period give him pleasure he never dreamed of then after couple of days you drag his leg


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## Indgo (Dec 25, 2014)

Zouz said:


> Or what about you ignore the issue for a short period give him pleasure he never dreamed of then after couple of days you drag his leg


 I'm not talking about it anymore with him

we are having sex and yesterday i spend some time with him we are going to do something new years eve

if i had proof if he is cheating or having a girlfriend i still want access to his phone. I have asked and he told me its private and i understand that he needs a little privacy but hell or high water Im going to get in that phone.

I'm not going to treat him like dirt because it isn't right plus i have no proof so it makes no sense for me to act like a ***** towards him.

I already got in his ass about asking for a girlfriend i dont need to keep hounding him asking if he has one.


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

He won't let you see the phone when you ask? Hon...that's a bad sign..


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

I feel for you. I really do.


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## Indgo (Dec 25, 2014)

DayDream said:


> He won't let you see the phone when you ask? Hon...that's a bad sign..


 but he did this to me with his last phone he had i got acess
to it i found nothing no women names on the phone the text messaging nothing it got in his last phone a couple of times nothing.

This is the thing it might not be a bad sign it might be he just want some privacy and his hpone is one of them but i will get in his phone so
im not going to lose sleep over it. I told my self Im not going to go crazy over this.


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

I hope so. You certainly know him better than any of us.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Indgo said:


> This is the thing it might not be a bad sign it might be he just want some privacy and his hpone is one of them but i will get in his phone so
> im not going to lose sleep over it. I told my self Im not going to go crazy over this.


Granted, you are not "going crazy" but you are certainly upset. As you should be. A man who tells his wife he wants a gf, whether he actually means it or not, is talking disrespectfully, to say the least.

Not "I'm depressed," "I just need some space right now," or "I'm having some issues with our marriage." No. "I want a gf." What a crappy thing to say.

And I guarantee you, that the folks on TAM who have strong marriages don't hide one dang thing from one another. Well, time on the toilet is not what I mean ... But passwords? Nope. No way.

And as far as your husband only getting 1/2 hour for a meal break. Since when does it take longer than 1/2 hour to engage in sexual relations, if that is the time limit? 

I don't know if your husband is cheating or not. But I do know that what he said to you was hurtful, disrespectful, and just plain sh!tty. Even though I think allowing a 7-year-old child in a parent's bed is very inappropriate.


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## Indgo (Dec 25, 2014)

Prodigal said:


> Granted, you are not "going crazy" but you are certainly upset. As you should be. A man who tells his wife he wants a gf, whether he actually means it or not, is talking disrespectfully, to say the least.
> 
> Not "I'm depressed," "I just need some space right now," or "I'm having some issues with our marriage." No. "I want a gf." What a crappy thing to say.
> 
> ...


 Yes what he said was very ****ty.

The thing is where the post office is located is not close to houses and not close to hotels so if s he having sex hes having it in a car.

as my 7 year old child sleeping in my bed it was because she was scared to sleep in her bed and im close to my daughter we all
show our children love in different ways not sicking ways
it was my form of bonding with her also. He was ok with it
and well we didnt put her in her room like we should of
we would go in the livingroom if wanted sex or the bathroom
everywhere but our bedroom at night if we had sex in the morning it would be our bed.

As i feel about his phone it didn't really bother me that he was private with his phone the first time i wanted access to his phone which was about 5 years ago he wouldn't give me access.
my women sense where going off at the time and that's why i want access to his phone.

Know this time i want access to his phone cause he said he wanted a girlfriend.

the truth will come out sooner or later i would like it alot sooner but im going to love my husband and spend time with him thats all i can do.


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## happybuddha (Aug 9, 2014)

O


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Indgo said:


> im going to love my husband and spend time with him thats all i can do.


So your daughter is no longer sleeping in your bed?


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## Indgo (Dec 25, 2014)

turnera said:


> So your daughter is no longer sleeping in your bed?


she is no longer sleeping in my bed.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Excellent!


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