# Internal Family Systems - Conrad



## sadwithouthim (Dec 8, 2011)

Hi Conrad

I've been googling this type of therapy. I'm not sure I'm understanding its concept. It seems similar to CBT but breaks it up in sort of subdivisions within the brain. 

Can you expand a bit for me in plain English the concept of how this works?

I did find a therapist about 25 miles outside the city where I live that offers it. I'm just a bit torn about starting all over again and telling someone else my whole life's history. I don't feel my current one is helping me enough. Well obviously not because I am still so distraught.

Thanks for any additional info on how this works.


----------



## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Sad,

I'll give you the link for the website at the end of this message.

But, the short skinny is this.

Our personality is broken into parts.

Each emotional injury we suffer "may" trigger a "young" emotional response based on when we first may have felt something.

For example... the first time we felt abandoned. The first time we felt at risk of our life. The first time we felt unloved.

The therapist will help you go all the way back to the very first time you can remember feeling that particular way and you will visualize yourself. This is called a "part" of your personality.

For example... I have a 4 year old boy who stands in the window waving a white hanky as his mom goes off to work. He REALLY thinks he'd be happy if Mom would turn around and COME BACK.

This leads a 30 year old man to believe - to the bottom of his soul - that he needs to make enough money for his wife to stay home, because no child of his will ever feel this way.

This same 4 year old "part" has an oversized emotion when dinner isn't ready or when the house is worse when he gets home than when he left.

I mean... HEY... SOMEONE is here all day to take care of this stuff. I'm not SUPPOSED to feel this way anymore.

IFS teaches you how to "talk" to that emotion. To that "part" of your personality. Let it know the mature adult Conrad is in charge and able to handle this.

May sound hokey, but I can tell you it REALLY works.

You will end up laughing at some of your emotional perceptions - and convictions.

You hear me say emotions are primitive. I don't need any 4 year olds getting upset at my spouse

http://www.selfleadership.org/


----------

