# The OW called



## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

Background: Earlier this year, before moving out of the marital home, I obtained copies of my WS's cell phone records and his contact list (the one from the "trash" which he didn't delete)  Anyway, in order to confirm that these callers were female and perhaps identify them, my friend and I went through the records. Several phone numbers stood out as being frequent/daily calls so we focused on them in particular.

In order to not have my cell phone number appear on the OW's phone records, we used my friend's phone to check the numbers. We called the numbers only once, let it go to voice mail and identified certain sources as female callers. One in particular, the subject of this thread, identified herself by name in her voice mail, which lead me to her fb connection with my WS and her picture and her real location, as her cell phone number was an out-of-state number, but her location is local. All of this information was given to my attorney with intent to call her as a witness, as my WS denies anything other than "being friends".

So, after several months of nothingness, my friend gets three local "hang up calls" on her cell phone. She called the number back and suggested that the person leave a message if they want to speak with her. We then did a reverse phone search and found that this was listed as the OW's local number. My friend decided to call the number back and advise that she knows whose number this is and that if this is her BS, to leave a message and she will forward the message (to me).

Unfortunately, my friend has a "burner phone" as she can't afford a regular service at this time. Most of her calls are her family members, and, when she runs out of minutes, she uses the house phone to call them back. She is my roommate at this time. So, she called the OW using the house phone and left the above message.

The OW called back (appeared on the caller ID). My friend answered the phone. The OW said nothing. My friend then addressed her by name, told her that she was named in her friend's divorce, told her to be a "big girl" and if she has something to say to speak, and if this is her spouse to leave a message and she'll forward it to me. The OW hung up. No further contact.

So, my question is, should I be worried? I have nothing to say to the home wrecker, as my only purpose in naming her in the divorce is as evidence of my WS's infidelity. I really don't care who she is and have no desire to speak to her. I find it interesting that she saved my friend's number, being that it was a one-time, short (30 sec) call just to go to her voice mail. It appears that she doesn't get many "hang up" calls on her cell and this one particular phone number she went back to, then called it three times.

Is she trying to harass me or something?


----------



## Twofaces (Dec 5, 2011)

May be that she is thinking your STBXH is cheating on her like he cheated on you........


----------



## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

Twofaces said:


> May be that she is thinking your STBXH is cheating on her like he cheated on you........


He is. :rofl:

She was not the only one who he called frequently. That's why she isn't important to me since she is not the only one he called.


----------



## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

survivorwife said:


> Background: Earlier this year, before moving out of the marital home, I obtained copies of my WS's cell phone records and his contact list (the one from the "trash" which he didn't delete)  Anyway, in order to confirm that these callers were female and perhaps identify them, my friend and I went through the records. Several phone numbers stood out as being frequent/daily calls so we focused on them in particular.
> 
> In order to not have my cell phone number appear on the OW's phone records, we used my friend's phone to check the numbers. We called the numbers only once, let it go to voice mail and identified certain sources as female callers. One in particular, the subject of this thread, identified herself by name in her voice mail, which lead me to her fb connection with my WS and her picture and her real location, as her cell phone number was an out-of-state number, but her location is local. All of this information was given to my attorney with intent to call her as a witness, as my WS denies anything other than "being friends".
> 
> ...


For the calls to be considered harrassment they need to reach the 100s and be close together in timing. 

I don't think she is harrassing you so much as she is curious. 

It may also be a spouse or boyfriend who is the caller. 

No one spoke so the fact that it came from her number is not enough to charge her with harrassment even if it was a lot of calls. 

Now if you receive on threat from her over the phone or by mail that is harrassment.

Both my STBEH and me are still be stallked by the OW. She has been having friends call and once I actually asked the friend if she were calling on behalf of the Ow and used her name. The woman hung up fast. 

I am getting late night calls and calls all day sometimes.


----------



## Twofaces (Dec 5, 2011)

Everyone should just change their phone numbers......


----------



## Count of Monte Cristo (Mar 21, 2012)

Twofaces said:


> Everyone should just change their phone numbers......


That would be too inconvenient for me. These phone calls will eventually pass.


----------



## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

Twofaces said:


> Everyone should just change their phone numbers......


Actually that would send the message that "everyone" is afraid of her, thus giving her more power than she deserves while inconveniencing "everyone" (and all the family and friends who have the numbers legitimately) just because she discovered where the original calls came from.

I'm not afraid of her. I have read stories on TAM about what the OW are capable of, and posted this story just in case someone else had a similar experience and had some insight into what they may think her intentions are.


----------



## WhereAmI (Nov 3, 2010)

I thought this thread was going to be a joke, "The OW called... she wants her crabs back" type of thread. 

Anyway, I wouldn't worry too much. It seems she has the emotional maturity of a 12 year old and thinks hang-up calls are payback for naming her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

...sorry if this is a silly question, but why wouldn't you have called her from a payphone or blocked your number or something? No way I'd ever 'investigate' from my own number...

In anycase, your OW is probably just being a C. Rhymes with 'hunt'.


----------



## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

CandieGirl said:


> ...sorry if this is a silly question, but why wouldn't you have called her from a payphone or blocked your number or something? No way I'd ever 'investigate' from my own number...
> 
> In anycase, your OW is probably just being a C. Rhymes with 'hunt'.



They still have payphones? 

There were pages and pages of cell phone numbers. My WS was chatting it up so much that I had to make a spreadsheet to focus just on the ones he called frequently. And, I didn't think it was a big deal to use my friend's phone just to dial the number once and see who answers. Being that he was still in contact with these women, I did not use my own cell phone as the number could have easily been confirmed as mine (if the OW checked with my H). As it was, using a "strange" cell phone number could simply be a wrong number.

And yes, she is a C.


----------



## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

She's probably doing some investigating of her own, LMAO, if she's being cheated on now.


----------



## jennie140 (Aug 28, 2012)

Count of Monte Cristo said:


> That would be too inconvenient for me. These phone calls will eventually pass.


So there's no way to block such calls?


----------



## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

CandieGirl said:


> She's probably doing some investigating of her own, LMAO, if she's being cheated on now.


Or probably wondering what your intentions are.


----------



## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

In the future, for those people who are lurking and reading, trying using a service that spoofs your telephone number. A good way is to call the OM/OW using your WSs phone number using a service like this:

WWW.SPOOFTEL.COM - Caller ID Spoofing - SMS Spoofing made easy - Home Page


----------

