# What does all this mean?



## Roxbury (Feb 26, 2013)

I have a close friend who met a guy online. I can't tell all the details, but what does it mean when a guy:

1. Travels 500 miles to see you?

2. Says he wants to "make love" to you really badly? And that he loves you?

3. Is married, but makes a call about how much child support would be?

4. Finally, if he leaves after saying he doesn't want the visit to be public, is there a chance he will come back?

My close friend called me about all of this and we are very confused. Both of us suck at reading guys.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Um.... He's a cheating doosh out looking for a piece of ass. He's cheating on his wife. 

What more do you need to know ?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> Um.... He's a cheating doosh out looking for a piece of ass. He's cheating on his wife.
> 
> What more do you need to know ?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Everything above. 

Why are you confused?


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## EntirelyDifferent (Nov 30, 2012)

Roxbury said:


> I have a close friend who met a guy online. I can't tell all the details, but what does it mean when a guy:
> 
> 1. Travels 500 miles to see you?
> 
> ...


How long has she been talking to this guy? 

My take: 1 He's cheating and getting far enough away so no one finds out. 
2 - 3 suggest to me that he's feeding her what she wants to hear to get laid, and #4 he'll absolutely be back if he thinks he has her on the hook for sex.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Roxbury said:


> I have a close friend who met a guy online. I can't tell all the details, but what does it mean when a guy:
> 
> 1. Travels 500 miles to see you?


A guy traveling 500 miles for sex is nothing in this day and age. Did he fly? This means that he’s not cheating in his home town so his wife is not as likely to find out about this affair. 
He is protecting his marriage because he has no intention of leaving his wife.


Roxbury said:


> 2. Says he wants to "make love" to you really badly?


He’s horny. He wants sex.


Roxbury said:


> And that he loves you?


He needs to say this because otherwise your friend would not want sex with him. He could love your friend because he has only met her on line. He really does not know her.


Roxbury said:


> 3. Is married, but makes a call about how much child support would be?


Did he make this call in front of your friend? Or did he just tell her that he made it. Who did he call?

This is for show. To find out how much child support he would have to pay he would have to see an attorney, provide all of his and his wife’s financial information and all of the information on the extra expenses that they make for their children. 

How does she know that he is really married and really has children? Sometimes men will just say this knowing that it keeps the women they have flings with from expecting anything more from them.

Assuming that he is married and not lying about that, why is your friend ok with destroying his family? Why is she ok with cheating with a married man?


Roxbury said:


> 4. Finally, if he leaves after saying he doesn't want the visit to be public, is there a chance he will come back?


Almost no chance at all that he will come back. If he does it’s just to get sex. The reason for the secret is because he has no intention of his wife finding out. He does not want a divorce. He wants sex.


Roxbury said:


> My close friend called me about all of this and we are very confused. Both of us suck at reading guys.


You must be REALLY bad at reading men if this all confused you. If a man’s words do not match his actions, believe his actions. His words are a smoke screen to manipulate.


How long ago was this trip he made to visit your friend? 

Has she heard from him since?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

This is really about you, isn't it? It the guy from your thread last month?

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/191610-i-fell-love-but-can-never.html


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## Roxbury (Feb 26, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> This is really about you, isn't it? It the guy from your thread last month?
> 
> http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/191610-i-fell-love-but-can-never.html


No, it's not about me, it's about a female friend who is dear to me. 

I hate that you interrupted the thread with a bad accusation.


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## Roxbury (Feb 26, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> A guy traveling 500 miles for sex is nothing in this day and age. Did he fly? This means that he’s not cheating in his home town so his wife is not as likely to find out about this affair.
> He is protecting his marriage because he has no intention of leaving his wife.
> 
> He’s horny. He wants sex.
> ...


Since you like to accuse people, there's no need for me to answer your questions. There are some details you have no clue about, yet you are making assumptions. 

This thread has served its purpose. Thank you to the users who answered the questions without making assumptions and accusing people.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Roxbury said:


> EleGirl said:
> 
> 
> > This is really about you, isn't it? It the guy from your thread last month?
> ...


Get over it. It's a legitimate question. As bandit pointed out, what's to understand? The guy is a lying, cheating ass, out for a booty call. Even the most inept at reading men can figure this one out. HE'S MARRIED AND WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE NOT IN HIS IMMEDIATE LOCALE. Seriously, what is hard to read about that?

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## barbados (Aug 30, 2012)

How lame can a guy be to have to travel 500 miles to cheat. Wow, what a catch !


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## Roxbury (Feb 26, 2013)

Last but not least, thank you to the posters who weren't rude about it and trying to start drama in this thread.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Translation: Your friend is being played

Oh wait.

Correction: If she knows he's married and still wondering what his deal is then she is an idiot. 

I do hope you aren't the "friend."


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## Roxbury (Feb 26, 2013)

Jellybeans said:


> Translation: Your friend is being played
> 
> Oh wait.
> 
> ...


1. I'm not the "friend".

2. There is absolutely no need to insult her.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Roxbury said:


> Since you like to accuse people, there's no need for me to answer your questions. There are some details you have no clue about, yet you are making assumptions.
> 
> This thread has served its purpose. Thank you to the users who answered the questions without making assumptions and accusing people.


I did not accuse, I asked. It's a legitimate question.

Yes there are questions that I and everyone else here have no details about. But we can only reply to what you have actually wrote.

By the way, we all replied with the same basic answer


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> This is really about you, isn't it? It the guy from your thread last month?
> 
> http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/191610-i-fell-love-but-can-never.html


Dammit, Ele. You are so good at spotting these. 

Roxbury, I am going to venture to say that your "friend" going through nearly the SAME situation you are in the other thread being a totally different circumstance would be quite a coincidence.

1 - In love with married man - check
2 - Married man has a wife and family - check
3 - Married man flies would have to travel out of state to see the "friend" - check

Either that or you and your friend seem to be dating the same guy.

You said in the other thread that you guessed "most girls my age" would be crazy about him and want to sleep with him so I am guessing he is older and has the player thing down pat. 

You also mention in your other thread how you got warm, fuzzy feelings: 

_This strange feeling would start in my chest and it felt so good. I googled around and found out it's "euphoria". 
_

You should google "affairs are bad" - "cheating never ends well" - and "homewrecking sucks" and "married player."

Even if this thread is not about you, both you and your "friend" will find some good advice on those searches.


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## Roxbury (Feb 26, 2013)

Maricha75 said:


> Get over it. It's a legitimate question. As bandit pointed out, what's to understand? The guy is a lying, cheating ass, out for a booty call. Even the most inept at reading men can figure this one out. HE'S MARRIED AND WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE NOT IN HIS IMMEDIATE LOCALE. Seriously, what is hard to read about that?
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


Get over what? All I said was I hated she accused me. Goodness you must be desperate to be rude and mean spirited toward me.

Actually no, not "the most inept at reading men" can figure this out. I've had friends and know girls who have ended up with bad results for something which according to you is more simple. 

No one is saying it's not "he's married and wants to have sex not in his immediate locale". I posted 4 simple questions in which I wanted basically an analysis to the situation and the ONLY member who really did that was "Entirely Different". 

You sit here and you insult people, yet you don't have a freaking clue about anything. 

You don't like the thread? Think I AND my buddy are idiots or whatever? Why are you in the thread wasting your time?


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## Roxbury (Feb 26, 2013)

barbados said:


> How lame can a guy be to have to travel 500 miles to cheat. Wow, what a catch !



It's good I simply asked 4 questions and didn't tell the whole thing. If I told you the truth about everything, you'd look like an idiot. 

You have enough time to bash on people? I hope you're actually an adult and not a kid.


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## Roxbury (Feb 26, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> I did not accuse, I asked. It's a legitimate question.
> 
> Yes there are questions that I and everyone else here have no details about. But we can only reply to what you have actually wrote.
> 
> By the way, we all replied with the same basic answer


No it's not legitimate. It actually doesn't even matter. I asked 4 questions and you accused me of talking about myself and accused the person of being willing to wreak a marriage. You have no clue what you are talking about. You just barged in here and brought up a month old thread that was resolved.

Exactly and you should only reply to those 4 questions instead of accusing people, bashing people, and etc.

No, that is a COMPLETE lie. You and few others DID NOT reply with the same basic answer. Do you need me to quote your posts and compare them to the people who just simply answered the questions?


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## Roxbury (Feb 26, 2013)

Jellybeans said:


> Dammit, Ele. You are so good at spotting these.
> 
> Roxbury, I am going to venture to say that your "friend" going through nearly the SAME situation you are in the other thread being a totally different circumstance would be quite a coincidence.
> 
> ...


What is wrong with you people? All I posted was 4 simple questions and you make a bunch of accusations and assumptions. 

My situation is resolved. I won't sleep with a married man or have anything to do with one. I am currently a member on a dating site and am talking to people.

My friend does her own thing. The situation is different, yet you assume it is the same even though I made it clear I'm not giving up a lot of details. What is wrong with you people? 

Oh, by the way, where does this thread say my friend is "in love" with this married man? Where does this thread say the married man has "family"?


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Roxbury said:


> It's good I simply asked 4 questions and didn't tell the whole thing. If I told you the truth about everything, you'd look like an idiot.
> 
> You have enough time to bash on people? I hope you're actually an adult and not a kid.


Then why hold back? As Ele pointed out, we can only reply to what you post.

Interesting. Yes, Entirely Different said the same thing the rest of us did, and you have no problem with what she said. She said the guy is cheating, feeding your friend a line to keep her on the hook, and will come back if he keeps her snowed. Like I said, it's not something hard to figure out. And, the first thing that should have sttered your friend away, completely, was the words "I'm married" that came out of his mouth. It really IS that simple. And if your friends (and other girls) try to make it out to be more complicated than that, they are sorely mistaken. It IS easy to figure out, even for someone who, as you describe yourself, "suck at reading guys". This guy's intentions are not hard to read at all.

ETA: Honestly, the vehemence iin your replies DOES make it seem you are quite young... possibly even a kid, as you suggested barbados might be.


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## Roxbury (Feb 26, 2013)

Maricha75 said:


> Then why hold back? As Ele pointed out, we can only reply to what you post.
> 
> Interesting. Yes, Entirely Different said the same thing the rest of us did, and you have no problem with what she said. She said the guy is cheating, feeding your friend a line to keep her on the hook, and will come back if he keeps her snowed. Like I said, it's not something hard to figure out. And, the first thing that should have sttered your friend away, completely, was the words "I'm married" that came out of his mouth. It really IS that simple. And if your friends (and other girls) try to make it out to be more complicated than that, they are sorely mistaken. It IS easy to figure out, even for someone who, as you describe yourself, "suck at reading guys". This guy's intentions are not hard to read at all.


I'm holding back because she told me to hold back! 

I give up, if you can't look at Entirely Different's posts and your ugly post and see the difference, then that's too bad!

I give up, I already explained some things and you are not listening, you insist on being nasty.

Like I said, why don't you stop wasting your time in thread? Unless you were just looking for a chance to be nasty.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Roxbury said:


> You sit here and you insult people, yet you don't have a freaking clue about anything.


Ahem.



Roxbury said:


> If I told you the truth about everything, you'd look like an idiot.
> 
> You have enough time to bash on people? I hope you're actually an adult and not a kid.


Pot, kettle.



Roxbury said:


> Oh, by the way, where does this thread say my friend is "in love" with this married man? *Where does this thread say the married man has "family"*?





Roxbury said:


> 3. Is married, but makes a call about how much *child support *would be?


The "in love" was reference to your other thread when I was pointing out the amazing similarities between them.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Roxbury said:


> No it's not legitimate. It actually doesn't even matter. I asked 4 questions and you accused me of talking about myself and accused the person of being willing to wreak a marriage. You have no clue what you are talking about. You just barged in here and brought up a month old thread that was resolved.
> 
> Exactly and you should only reply to those 4 questions instead of accusing people, bashing people, and etc.
> 
> No, that is a COMPLETE lie. You and few others DID NOT reply with the same basic answer. Do you need me to quote your posts and compare them to the people who just simply answered the questions?


I answered each of your questions very directly based on the information that you provided. Apparently you purposely left out information since you are not accusing several posters of not knowing the entire story.

When you start paying people for advice you can start treating them like dirt... if they chose to stay around and be trashed by you.

The way it works on a public forum is that people respond to he post, the questions and the actual bits of information given.

People who do this are giving their free time. Take what you like and just leave the rest.

In the future, make sure you tell people exactly what answers you want to your questions and your posts.

I agree, get over yourself. If you don't like the free input you are getting then why are you bothering to post here?


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

EntirelyDifferent said:


> How long has she been talking to this guy?
> 
> My take: 1* He's cheating and getting far enough away so no one finds out. *
> *2 - 3 suggest to me that he's feeding her what she wants to hear to get laid*, and #*4 he'll absolutely be back if he thinks he has her on the hook for sex.*





Maricha75 said:


> Get over it. It's a legitimate question. As bandit pointed out, what's to understand? *The guy is a lying, cheating ass, out for a booty call.* Even the most inept at reading men can figure this one out. *HE'S MARRIED AND WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE NOT IN HIS IMMEDIATE LOCALE.* Seriously, what is hard to read about that?
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_





Maricha75 said:


> Then why hold back? As Ele pointed out, we can only reply to what you post.
> 
> Interesting. Yes, *Entirely Different said* the same thing the rest of us did, and you have no problem with what she said. She said *the guy is cheating, feeding your friend a line to keep her on the hook, and will come back if he keeps her snowed.* Like I said, it's not something hard to figure out. And, the first thing that should have sttered your friend away, completely, was the words "I'm married" that came out of his mouth. It really IS that simple. And if your friends (and other girls) try to make it out to be more complicated than that, they are sorely mistaken. It IS easy to figure out, even for someone who, as you describe yourself, "suck at reading guys". *This guy's intentions are not hard to read at all.*
> 
> ETA: Honestly, the vehemence iin your replies DOES make it seem you are quite young... possibly even a kid, as you suggested barbados might be.





Roxbury said:


> I'm holding back because she told me to hold back!
> 
> I give up, if you can't look at Entirely Different's posts and your ugly post and see the difference, then that's too bad!
> 
> ...


As I said, Entirely Different said the same thing: the guy is cheating on his wife, looking for sex away from home so he can try to hide it. 

And, the only thing I said in addition to that is that this isn't a hard thing to read, even for one who "sucks at reading guys"...those are your words, not mine, regarding reading men. I wasn't saying in the earlier post that YOU are inept, I was saying that anyone who IS inept can see it.

It's fine that she asked you to hold back. That's your (and her) call. But, because of this, all that can be commented on is what you have posted. As for your previous thread, the only reason Ele brought it up was because there were striking similarities between that one and this one. You say it was resolved? Fine. No problem. It doesn't really say that... there didn't seem to be a "resolution post", from what I saw. 

The only thing that was even remotely mean or "nasty" that I posted was when I said "Get over it". And that was said because you claimed Ele interrupted the tread... Actually, she didn't. She wanted to be sure you weren't saying it was your friend, when it was actually you.... Note, I said she wanted to be sure. I didn't say "you and your friend are one and the same". I never made thaqt statement at all, actually.

Now, Ele had written up a long post, addressing each of your 4 questions... and asked a few of her own and you replied, "Since you like to accuse people, there's no need for me to answer your questions. There are some details you have no clue about, yet you are making assumptions."... What assumptions?She asked how yoru friend knows for sure the guy is married and has kids (you stated he called about child support). And she asked why your friend would even consider hooking up with this guy, who is cheating on his wife. All legitimate questions and statements. Nothing nasty about it at all... and then you got defensive when she asked about your thread from a month ago. And you started going off on anyone who replied after that. Barbados merely said the GUY is lame because of his actions. The rest of us said that based on what you HAVE told us, the guy is just after sex with your friend, nothing more. But, because we posted after Ele asked about your previous thread, we're all being "nasty" in our responses. Sorry, but that says more about you than it does about those of us who have been responding.

Anyway, tell or don't tell. It's your call. You have your answer: the guy is playing her.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

OP, why are you so defensive?


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