# A crack in the ice!



## Lonelyin NC (Aug 1, 2012)

I recently informed my wife about my grandmothers passing and had not expected to hear anything back. This morning I recieved an email letting me know how sorry she was and that her thougts and prayers were with me and my family. Im not sure how to take this right now. I responded by thanking her for her kind words and that they were appreciated. I even offered to meet up with her and get her car registration taken care of. How do I pick up the 180 after all of this? My head is stuck in between gears right now:scratchhead:


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## 06Daddio08 (Jul 26, 2012)

What does the car registration have to do with passing in the family?

I'm sorry to hear.

Also, try sticking to one thread


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## jdlash (Jun 18, 2012)

NC-just go back to not talking to him. His response was nothing more then being a somewhat decent human being. Nothing to do with you. Had he said, "I'm sorry to hear that. I know you were close to your grandmother. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help you through this, because I don't want you to feel all alone." then I would say that was a starter.

I'm not trying to be a downer, but you are making more out of it then it was.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Offering to help with the car was a bad idea.


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## spun (Jul 2, 2012)

Conrad said:


> Offering to help with the car was a bad idea.


Agreed.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 06Daddio08 (Jul 26, 2012)

Conrad said:


> Offering to help with the car was a bad idea.





spun said:


> Agreed.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You cannot 'open' doors of opportunity for them.

If they really want it, they will make an effort to do so.

The ironic thing about it though, is later on down the road they may use that as an excuse against you (blameshifting) as to why they decided magically not to change there mind.

When that happens, it's another sign that they really weren't interested. They don't want to have to do the work.

They want the work done for them.


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

She was being compassionate, nothing more.

You're looking for hidden meanings when there aren't any to be found.

Stop offering to help her out.


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## Lonelyin NC (Aug 1, 2012)

I suppose you guys are right. The thought that's going through my mind is she's probably thinking she's got me right where she wants me. Suppose I should tell her that it's going to be a direct cremation with a gravesite service to follow sometime later later in the fall. Im having an uneasy feeling about this.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jdlash (Jun 18, 2012)

I know this is a touchy subject, so I want to say I'm sorry for your loss. Now to the part of telling her. Tell her what's going on if she asks.

I hope I don't come across as a jerk, because that is the last thing I'm trying to do.


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

Lonelyin NC said:


> Suppose I should tell her that it's going to be a direct cremation with a gravesite service to follow sometime later later in the fall.


Better yet put her in touch with a neutral third party who can provide her with the details.


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## Lonelyin NC (Aug 1, 2012)

For those who dont know about the car registration...My wife is responsible for it per our seperation agreement. Her car has been out of registration for nearly 3 months and just now she decided to do something about it. Last night She calls me up and says she wants to meet me in person to handle the registration. I tell her that we owe it to one another to talk a few things over...She reluctantly agrees. On the way over to were we met, I'm feeling uneasy about seeing her in person. 

When we meet, the first thing she does as soon as I sit down at the diner where we met is slide the car registration under my nose. I push it aside and tell we need to talk first. During our conversation, she admits to falling out of love with me 2 years ago because she was unhappy. She aslo admits to not wanting to work anything in the next 6 months and that our marriage is over.As the night goes in she starts to get impatient . I hold my cool and tell her no on the registration because of liability on me if she has an at fault accident. She actually hugged me and leaves the diner in a hurry. She calls me today as Im out in the yard playing with my godson. She says she wants me to come over to her parents house to talk about her car registration...to her knowledge...Im leaving early tomm morning and skipping the funeral. 

Again , I have an uneasy feeling ...esp her wanting me to come over to her parents house...Sounds like a setup to me. I think I'll respectfully decline tonight. Any ideas or opinions


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## spun (Jul 2, 2012)

Lonelyin NC said:


> For those who dont know about the car registration...My wife is responsible for it per our seperation agreement. Her car has been out of registration for nearly 3 months and just now she decided to do something about it. Last night She calls me up and says she wants to meet me in person to handle the registration. I tell her that we owe it to one another to talk a few things over...She reluctantly agrees. On the way over to were we met, I'm feeling uneasy about seeing her in person.
> 
> When we meet, the first thing she does as soon as I sit down at the diner where we met is slide the car registration under my nose. I push it aside and tell we need to talk first. During our conversation, she admits to falling out of love with me 2 years ago because she was unhappy. She aslo admits to not wanting to work anything in the next 6 months and that our marriage is over.As the night goes in she starts to get impatient . I hold my cool and tell her no on the registration because of liability on me if she has an at fault accident. She actually hugged me and leaves the diner in a hurry. She calls me today as Im out in the yard playing with my godson. She says she wants me to come over to her parents house to talk about her car registration...to her knowledge...Im leaving early tomm morning and skipping the funeral.
> 
> Again , I have an uneasy feeling ...esp her wanting me to come over to her parents house...Sounds like a setup to me. I think I'll respectfully decline tonight. Any ideas or opinions


She's single now, so she pays for her car registration.

You pay nothing to support her now.

It's time for her to put her big girl pants on.

Plain and simple.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

spun said:


> She's single now, so she pays for her car registration.
> 
> You pay nothing to support her now.
> 
> ...


Don't pay it.

It's paying her to leave you.

Screw that.


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## Lonelyin NC (Aug 1, 2012)

Now that Im back in NC...time to resume where I left off with my 180. Being in Ct for that extended period of time was asking for trouble. The sucky part is I gotta flush her from my mind again. Wife is trying to be all sweet with me now on having her car registration signed by me...My answer is still a firm no due to liability reasons. If she wants a car that isnt connected to me, she needs to trade the one she has now in. I thought there would be a slight chance of things working out.Shes made it clear the other night when I saw her that our marriage was in fact over and that she has no desire for any chance of reconciliation. It hurts to hear those words, but I guess, I'll have to really move on now and leave her in the dust. Stupid me for having any kind of hope


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## spun (Jul 2, 2012)

Lonelyin NC said:


> Now that Im back in NC...time to resume where I left off with my 180. Being in Ct for that extended period of time was asking for trouble. The sucky part is I gotta flush her from my mind again. Wife is trying to be all sweet with me now on having her car registration signed by me...My answer is still a firm no due to liability reasons. If she wants a car that isnt connected to me, she needs to trade the one she has now in. I thought there would be a slight chance of things working out.Shes made it clear the other night when I saw her that our marriage was in fact over and that she has no desire for any chance of reconciliation. It hurts to hear those words, but I guess, I'll have to really move on now and leave her in the dust. Stupid me for having any kind of hope


Give her what she wants.

Nothing wrong with hope.

When the hope holds you back, that's a problem.

Focus on being the best you that you can be.

You deserve better.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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