# How to Create Harmony in the Home



## DameEdna (Aug 26, 2009)

Hia Folks

It has been said, by my husband (of 20 years) and our two teenagers, that when they are all at home together and I am out, the house is calm. And when I walk in, there is tension.

I can be negative and pessimistic, impatient, intolerant and sharp with everyone.

However, I feel the same of my husband. I feel like the house is calm when he is not here. In fact, I feel it is because of HIM that I am negative, pessimistic, impatient + intolerant. He is a naturally grumpy person, very serious about everything, doesnt joke very often, and I feel stifled, often unloved, cuddles and affection are rare! 

Dont get me wrong, we are great together if we go away for a day or holidays and sex is rather good WHEN it happens (once a month or so) 

How can we build harmony in the house so we arent rubbing each other up the wrong way?

Anyone else have this problem?


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## shelleyv (Aug 13, 2009)

A simple exercise. Sit down and make a list. This is what bothers me about you - and this is what bothers me about you. Work on the list. Make an effort to stop doing the things that bother one another. After twenty years, you probably know one another inside out. Do more of the things you love and enjoy. Life is too short.


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## DameEdna (Aug 26, 2009)

shelleyv said:


> A simple exercise. Sit down and make a list. This is what bothers me about you - and this is what bothers me about you. Work on the list. Make an effort to stop doing the things that bother one another. After twenty years, you probably know one another inside out. Do more of the things you love and enjoy. Life is too short.


Hia shelley

Have you done this list thing yourself? 

The thing is, being married to someone where you know them almost inside out, they WILL have habits and mannerisms which annoy. It's inevitable. My hubby has a mild form of OCD..... but how can I make a list to stop having OCD? Do you see what I mean? 

I can CHANGE the way I am......... I can be more positive and optimistic, more patient and tolerant and less sharp with everyone.

If I focus on changing MYSELF..... then hopefully the changes will be noticed in others


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