# Not having a sexual past.



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

Before I start I would like to mention that I am a virgin. 

But sometimes I feel frustrated and left out because I don't have a sexual past to remember. I think that most people have a sexual past to remember. Even the people that mean well and would tell me it is commendable that I am waiting for marriage, that still makes me kind of frustrated because they have a sexual past.

So ultimately, yes I will never have sex before marriage. But in your opinion what attitude should I have about not having a sexual past and only having one female in marriage?

What is your opinion?


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

What is the meaning and purpose behind your virginity?

And why would you ask a forum of strangers to define your worldview?


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

I'm not really asking anyone to define my world view. I was just trying to seek different thoughts and opinions.

I am a virgin by choice.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

The philogynist said:


> But in your opinion what attitude should I have about not having a sexual past and only having one female in marriage?


I think you should make a choice that is best for you. Of course you shouldn't deceive anyone, and must never assault anyone, but you don't seem likely to do those.

It sounds like you don't expect to be happy entering marriage w/ no experience, if not, then don't. You may have been told your wife expects that of you, but some of them don't want a spouse who always wonders if maybe the grass actually is greener in one of those other yards.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

_But in your opinion *what attitude should I have*..._



The philogynist said:


> I'm not really asking anyone to define my world view. I was just trying to seek different thoughts and opinions.



This doesn't answer the question. 



> I am a virgin by choice.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

The philogynist said:


> I am a virgin by choice.


Good for you.

So with that being the case, what will you do (presuming you ever get married) if your marital partner finds out they hate having sex with you?

Or you find out that you hate having sex with them, or you both of you hate sex with each other (and there is no way to change that)?


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

There are many choices we make in life that can leave you wishing you would have done something else or wondering "what if...". 

There are plenty of people who didn't wait but really wish they would have and they wonder what that would have been like. Once you make a choice in life, it is what it is. 

I have a sexual past, and to be totally honest, I don't remember it that well. I'm aware of who I've had sex with and some of the actions/activities we did together but the memories, feelings, and excitement fade. Having sex before marriage isn't so that you can have all these great memories to look back on or store in your spank bank. It's to have fun and figure out what kind of sexual partner you are and need. 

Focus on the reasons why you are waiting until marriage, don't get stuck in the what if's or jealousy.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

The philogynist said:


> I'm not really asking anyone to define my world view. I was just trying to seek different thoughts and opinions.
> 
> I am a virgin by choice.


I've known a few guys who seemed to say their wife was their only sex partner and that they regretted that choice. One of them I suspect fooled around.

I believe some people are happier only having one partner, but I'm sure not everyone is. For me, I am more comfortable w/ monogamy having some idea what else is out there.


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

The philogynist said:


> What is your opinion?


I agree, it is commendable. 

But you shouldn’t get married, ever.

Edited after reading the first ten pages. Wow!


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

Thanks for the reply.

Ultimately I will be satisfied with my marriage. It just that sometimes I get frustrated that others have had more than one. Even when others talk about their ex it brings frustrating thoughts to my mind of not


SpinyNorman said:


> I think you should make a choice that is best for you. Of course you shouldn't deceive anyone, and must never assault anyone, but you don't seem likely to do those.
> 
> It sounds like you don't expect to be happy entering marriage w/ no experience, if not, then don't. You may have been told your wife expects that of you, but some of them don't want a spouse who always wonders if maybe the grass actually is greener in one of those other yards.


Ultimately I will be satisfied with my marriage. It's just that when others mention their ex, frustrating thoughts come to mind. That's what I struggle with.


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

Personal said:


> Good for you.
> 
> So with that being the case, what will you do (presuming you ever get married) if your marital partner finds out they hate having sex with you?
> 
> Or you find out that you hate having sex with them, or you both of you hate sex with each other (and there is no way to change that)?


I'm confident we will enjoy having sex with each other. I will definitely do the best that I possibly can to choose wisely.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

The philogynist said:


> Ultimately I will be satisfied with my marriage.


If you get married, I hope you are satisfied.

Yet since you can't predict the future, there is no way you can claim that you will be satisfied before the fact.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

The philogynist said:


> Thanks for the reply.
> 
> Ultimately I will be satisfied with my marriage. It just that sometimes I get frustrated that others have had more than one. Even when others talk about their ex it brings frustrating thoughts to my mind of not
> 
> Ultimately I will be satisfied with my marriage. It's just that when others mention their ex, frustrating thoughts come to mind. That's what I struggle with.


Would you ultimately be more satisfied w/ your marriage if you entered it w/ sexual experience? If so, then do that. 

My marriage exists to please me and my spouse. I couldn't care less if anyone else commends it or not.


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

bobert said:


> There are many choices we make in life that can leave you wishing you would have done something else or wondering "what if...".
> 
> There are plenty of people who didn't wait but really wish they would have and they wonder what that would have been like. Once you make a choice in life, it is what it is.
> 
> ...


Thanks for the reply.

Right, once we make a choice in life, it is what it is, and we have to go about from there.

You mentioned that you didn't remember your sexual past all that well and the memories, feelings, and excitement fade. But then you said that It's to have fun and figure out what kind of sexual partner you are and need. 

So I'm kind of confused by that.


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

SpinyNorman said:


> I've known a few guys who seemed to say their wife was their only sex partner and that they regretted that choice. One of them I suspect fooled around.
> 
> I believe some people are happier only having one partner, but I'm sure not everyone is. For me, I am more comfortable w/ monogamy having some idea what else is out there.


So do you have a sexual past?


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

OnTheFly said:


> I agree, it is commendable.
> 
> What you lack in experience will be quickly gained with the spouse you choose. But, choose wisely.
> 
> I know it's easy for me to say, but don't long for what others have, it's not necessarily what you think it is. That vibrant green patch of grass on the other side of the fence just might be astroturf, and without knowing it, you're standing on cool, deep rooted Kentucky Bluegrass right where you are.


Thanks for the encouragement.


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

Personal said:


> If you get married, I hope you are satisfied.
> 
> Yet since you can't predict the future, there is no way you can claim that you will be satisfied before the fact.


Well that's where doing the best I can and choosing wisely comes into play.

In essence this is about sex with different women vs sex with one woman.


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

SpinyNorman said:


> Would you ultimately be more satisfied w/ your marriage if you entered it w/ sexual experience? If so, then do that.
> 
> My marriage exists to please me and my spouse. I couldn't care less if anyone else commends it or not.


Thanks for the reply.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

The philogynist said:


> Thanks for the reply.
> 
> Right, once we make a choice in life, it is what it is, and we have to go about from there.
> 
> ...


I will not speak for @bobert , but here is how I see what he is saying. In having had sexual encounters prior to marriage, he learned what it is he likes and doesn't like, and what he is and isn't willing to do. Thus he is better prepared in chosing a long term mate that he knows he can be the one and only to.

Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

maquiscat said:


> I will not speak for @bobert , but here is how I see what he is saying. In having had sexual encounters prior to marriage, he learned what it is he likes and doesn't like, and what he is and isn't willing to do. Thus he is better prepared in chosing a long term mate that he knows he can be the one and only to.
> 
> Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk


I seems that a virgin can have that preperation by watching porn.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

The philogynist said:


> Before I start I would like to mention that I am a virgin.
> 
> But sometimes I feel frustrated and left out because I don't have a sexual past to remember. I think that most people have a sexual past to remember. Even the people that mean well and would tell me it is commendable that I am waiting for marriage, that still makes me kind of frustrated because they have a sexual past.
> 
> ...


You have to decide what is best for you. Not what your religion says (or maybe more to the point what others tell you your religion says), not what your parents or your friends say, but you.

But keep in mind that the whole institution of marriage has changed over the centuries. At one point, love wasn't even supposed to be part of the equation. Now it's all about love. Before marriages were arranged, so one had little choice in who they spent their life with. Virginity played a vastly different role in marriage than it does today. So you need to decide _why_ you want to maintain virginity until marriage, and then go from there.

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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

> It just that sometimes I get frustrated that others have had more than one.


Do you also get jealous of someone who has a bigger house, a better car, or a higher paying job? It's all the same, really.



The philogynist said:


> Thanks for the reply.
> 
> Right, once we make a choice in life, it is what it is, and we have to go about from there.
> 
> ...


Let's see if I can explain my post though, but @maquiscat did a good job of it.

Every partner and relationship a person has is different. So with each previous partner, I had the opportunity to learn what activities I do and do not like, and what type of partner I liked and didn't like. So I remember things like "I did x, and I liked that and would do it again" or "I did y, and I didn't really like that but would be okay with it sometimes", or "I did z, and I didn't like that at all!". It's not like you get amnesia and totally forget the past partners, but it's like thinking back on a friend you had in third grade. Sure you remember their existence and that you were friends, but there's really nothing there and it's just a fact.

Those interests can change over time as well. Things that I did when I was younger, I have no interest in doing now (mid-30's). So for you, you may have a lot more experimentation to do with your future spouse. That can be fun! You get to learn that together, other people don't get that and they could be jealous of YOU.

Those interests can also change depending on the partner. There are things that I've done with previous partners that I wouldn't do with my wife. And things that I've done with my wife that were a HUGE "hell no" with previous partners.

Hopefully you do end up on the same page, or at least in the same book, as your future spouse. Hopefully they show your their true self and don't have some deep, dark past that will kill your sex life. And hopefully nothing comes along in the future (rape, health problems, etc) that ruins it all. There are no guarantees in life regardless of what you do.

And no, porn is nothing like real life experience.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

The philogynist said:


> I seems that a virgin can have that preperation by watching porn.


No, no, no, and a big ol' hell NO! Porn is nothing like loving sex in a committed relationship.

You're not even committed yet and you're already regretting not having sown any wild oats. Do your future wife a favor and sow them now.


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

maquiscat said:


> You have to decide what is best for you. Not what your religion says (or maybe more to the point what others tell you your religion says), not what your parents or your friends say, but you.
> 
> But keep in mind that the whole institution of marriage has changed over the centuries. At one point, love wasn't even supposed to be part of the equation. Now it's all about love. Before marriages were arranged, so one had little choice in who they spent their life with. Virginity played a vastly different role in marriage than it does today. So you need to decide _why_ you want to maintain virginity until marriage, and then go from there.
> 
> Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk


Well I am one of those people that believes in God, so it is a combination of my faith and my choice.

I sincerely believe that In essence there is no point in marriage. I my view the only important point that marriage will never have is helping to keep at type of "order" in the world.

Sex is sex whether before marriage or in marriage.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

The philogynist said:


> I seems that a virgin can have that preperation by watching porn.


If you are going to wait until marriage, you need to STOP watching porn. Seriously. It's going to give you v_ery _unrealistic ideas of what sex should look like.

And if you are religious and that's why you're waiting, then why are you watching porn? That's a no-no too.


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

bobert said:


> Do you also get jealous of someone who has a bigger house, a better car, or a higher paying job? It's all the same, really.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Well are the people in porn not having sex as well?

You're right, me and my wife will sexual experiment with together. I am a very creative person so it will be fun.

You said: "There are things that I've done with previous partners that I wouldn't do with my wife."

How so? Sex is sex.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

The philogynist said:


> Well are the people in porn not having sex as well?


They are having sex in a mechanical sense. Sure, technically they are having sex but it is _nothing_ like real life sex.



The philogynist said:


> You said: "There are things that I've done with previous partners that I wouldn't do with my wife."
> 
> How so? Sex is sex.


Well, for starters, having a threesome while married probably isn't the best idea. Some things were only interesting or fun within those specific relationships. Some things I tried and only did for that partner but wouldn't do it now. Some things I outgrew.

No, "sex is sex" isn't accurate. There is also a huge difference between f*cking and making love sex. Not every partner gets (or wants) both.


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## StarFires (Feb 27, 2018)

The philogynist said:


> Before I start I would like to mention that I am a virgin.
> 
> But sometimes I feel frustrated and left out because I don't have a sexual past to remember. I think that most people have a sexual past to remember. Even the people that mean well and would tell me it is commendable that I am waiting for marriage, that still makes me kind of frustrated because they have a sexual past.
> 
> ...


Your convictions are commendable. Please don't allow anyone to make you feel frustrated or inferior. And please definitely don't allow anyone to convince you to change your mind. The attitude you should have is to be equally convicted to not allowing people to judge you. Do not give them that kind of license over you. Don't allow yourself to stand in their judgment, nor make you feel embarrassed, nor make you feel frustrated. If anyone tries, tell them "You've made your choices in life, and I have made mine. I don't judge yours, and I don't give you license to judge mine." And then walk away from them

However, your statements below are entirely untrue and misguided:



The philogynist said:


> I seems that a virgin can have that preperation by watching porn.


Pornography is NOT in any way educational. You can learn the basic mechanics by watching porn, however you will not learn how to and how not to treat your wife during sex because porn objectifies women and disrespects women completely, but you will not recognize any of that. The things you see and hear in porn are not real. They are actors acting out their parts to make watching more appealing to the viewers. If you call yourself mimicking what you see in porn videos, you will have no idea that you are doing things wrong, and you will have no idea that you have no business at all doing some of that stuff to your wife. By thinking it is okay to do to your wife the things you see done in porn videos, you could easily end up with the worst sex life you can possibly imagine because you will quickly find yourself in a marriage with no sex life at all. You could make your wife feel like she does not want to be bothered with you because you've made her feel self-conscious, embarrassed, disrespected, and shameful. As a result, she will not respect you either and will have no consideration for your need to have sex because you will have shown her how inconsiderate and disrespectful you are of her. Sex should be about both people enjoying themselves and also respecting each other at the same time. Despite what you think you are seeing and hearing in porn videos, they are not at all what they seem. 



The philogynist said:


> Ultimately I will be satisfied with my marriage.


This might possibly be true for you but will not necessarily be true for your wife. You will need to learn how to please her and how to be considerate of her. You will need to learn how to be patient for the sake of her pleasure. You will need to learn the skills of how to make sex pleasurable for her. Pornography does not accomplish or teach any of those feats. You can learn some pointers from my post in the link below. When the time comes, do those things to your wife and tweak my instructions according to her cues and preferences. 









Quality of Sex in Marriage


I have a lingering question that has been bothering me for a while. When we have sex, sometimes I have a hair trigger other times not. Sometimes she is into it, most times not that much. Sometimes she orgasms, sometimes not. We have talked about things. She tells me I think to much about...




www.talkaboutmarriage.com


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

bobert said:


> Do you also get jealous of someone who has a bigger house, a better car, or a higher paying job? It's all the same, really.


No, not really. Women and sex is very unique to me.


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

Blondilocks said:


> No, no, no, and a big ol' hell NO! Porn is nothing like loving sex in a committed relationship.
> 
> You're not even committed yet and you're already regretting not having sown any wild oats. Do your future wife a favor and sow them now.


I would guess that one night stands are not like "loving sex" either.


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

bobert said:


> If you are going to wait until marriage, you need to STOP watching porn. Seriously. It's going to give you v_ery _unrealistic ideas of what sex should look like.
> 
> And if you are religious and that's why you're waiting, then why are you watching porn? That's a no-no too.


How in the world is porn is very unrealistic ideas of what sex should look like. There is actually penis in vagina copulation going. So how does it not look like what we do.

Well I don't have a woman yet so a little porn seems to be my outlet right now. I am gradually treading in this world the best I can. What I do is ultimately between me and God.

So I kindly ask, don't start with the judging


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

The philogynist said:


> I would guess that one night stands are not like "loving sex" either.


No, they are not but they are a hell of a lot more real than porn since... it's an actual person who (ideally) wants to be there and isn't being paid to put on a show. 

Plus ONS's are not the only way to get sex outside of marriage. There is this crazy thing called a girlfriend...


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

The philogynist said:


> I seems that a virgin can have that preperation by watching porn.


You might think so, but that is not reality for many. Not saying it won't be for you, but still doubtful. There are many positions and activities that I thought I would enjoy having watched them, that turned out anywhere from, eh to oh hell no! Others didn't look all that fun, but I tried them because a partner wanted to, and I discovered I really enjoyed them. Remember, in porn, they are paid to make it look fun and enjoyable. And even if the actor actually enjoys it, that doesn't mean you will. Experience is the only way to know for sure.

Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

The philogynist said:


> How in the world is porn is very unrealistic ideas of what sex should look like. There is actually penis in vagina copulation going. So how does it not look like what we do.
> 
> Well I don't have a woman yet so a little porn seems to be my outlet right now. I am gradually treading in this world the best I can. What I do is ultimately between me and God.
> 
> So I kindly ask, don't start with the judging


Read what @StarFires wrote above.

Like I already said, aside from the mechanical part of sex (penis in vagina, mouth, or ass), there is nothing real about it. The emotions are *not* real. The treatment is *not* how men should treat women. The timeframe is *not *real, most "finishing scenes" are filmed first. Most men are *not* sporting a 10" penis and most women do *not* have ginormous, fake boobs.

Porn is for fantasy. Fantasy = not real. 

If you treat a woman like a porn star, it will be a very short lived or sexless marriage.


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

bobert said:


> They are having sex in a mechanical sense. Sure, technically they are having sex but it is _nothing_ like real life sex.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Well the mechanical sex is the real sex it's just that simple.

Even though there is a threesome, it is still penis in vagina, so in essence the fact remains sex is sex.

There is no such thing as "making love." You can express love with each other more outside of the bedroom.

It is only having sex.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

The philogynist said:


> Well that's where doing the best I can and choosing wisely comes into play.
> 
> In essence this is about sex with different women vs sex with one woman.


This will sound crazy until you compare what you have to lose by doing it vs. winding up in a bad marriage.

Book an appointment w/ a marriage counselor or a sex therapist. Ask them about people who married as virgins, and how some of them felt about it. I bet some of them were ok w/ it, others not so much. See which of those sound more like you.


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

Porn is brain poison.


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## StarFires (Feb 27, 2018)

The philogynist said:


> I'm confident we will enjoy having sex with each other. I will definitely do the best that I possibly can to choose wisely.





The philogynist said:


> Well that's where doing the best I can and choosing wisely comes into play.


My goodness, you harbor some incredibly ridiculous notions. Or are you trying to rile us up?



The philogynist said:


> You're right, me and my wife will sexual experiment with together. I am a very creative person so it will be fun.


Fun for you maybe but might not be fun for her. Not all women enjoy experimenting and many don't like feeling they are being experimented on.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

The philogynist said:


> Well the mechanical sex is the real sex it's just that simple.
> 
> Even though there is a threesome, it is still penis in vagina, so in essence the fact remains sex is sex.
> 
> ...


Nope, sorry, all sex is NOT the same. Not even close. 

There is a huge difference between ****ing and making love. There is A LOT more to sex than "stick penis into hole 1, 2 or 3".


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

The philogynist said:


> I sincerely believe that In essence there is no point in marriage. I my view the only important point that marriage will never have is helping to keep at type of "order" in the world.


This is far more significant than whether you dip your wick or not. Please do any potential spouse a favor by explaining this to her before you get married. You might also want to address this w/ a counselor to see if you could come around to a different view of matrimony. That probably sounds insulting, but I don't mean it that way, it's just that you and your spouse need to have a compatible view on the subject or else you will both pay a steep price.


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

maquiscat said:


> You might think so, but that is not reality for many. Not saying it won't be for you, but still doubtful. There are many positions and activities that I thought I would enjoy having watched them, that turned out anywhere from, eh to oh hell no! Others didn't look all that fun, but I tried them because a partner wanted to, and I discovered I really enjoyed them. Remember, in porn, they are paid to make it look fun and enjoyable. And even if the actor actually enjoys it, that doesn't mean you will. Experience is the only way to know for sure.
> 
> Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk


I try not to complicate the issue of porn, which a lot people does.

Porn is simply people having sex on camera, and if I get some ideas from that and want to try it with my wife, that's my choice.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

The philogynist said:


> Porn is simply people having sex on camera, and if I get some ideas from that and want to try it with my wife, that's my choice.


Sure, but what about HER choice? Women *do not* want to be treated like pornstars.


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

bobert said:


> Read what @StarFires wrote above.
> 
> Like I already said, aside from the mechanical part of sex (penis in vagina, mouth, or ass), there is nothing real about it. The emotions are *not* real. The treatment is *not* how men should treat women. The timeframe is *not *real, most "finishing scenes" are filmed first. Most men are *not* sporting a 10" penis and most women do *not* have ginormous, fake boobs.
> 
> ...


See you don't understand, I don't care about the emotions ect. That's neither here nor there. I'm just about to mechanics.

People makes the issue of porn so difficult.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

The philogynist said:


> See you don't understand, I don't care about the emotions ect. That's neither here nor there. I'm just about to mechanics.
> 
> People makes the issue of porn so difficult.


Then do everyone a favor and don't get married. Maybe invest in a sexdoll instead. That'd give you everything you want.

Also, if you *do* find a partner (lord help her), make sure to disclose that tidbit of info to your future girlfriend. She'll love it!


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

bobert said:


> Sure, but what about HER choice? Women *do not* want to be treated like pornstars.





SpinyNorman said:


> This will sound crazy until you compare what you have to lose by doing it vs. winding up in a bad marriage.
> 
> Book an appointment w/ a marriage counselor or a sex therapist. Ask them about people who married as virgins, and how some of them felt about it. I bet some of them were ok w/ it, others not so much. See which of those sound more like you.


I will definitely talk to a sex therapist.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

The philogynist said:


> I will definitely talk to a sex therapist.


Might want to tell them to clear their schedule... And add a psychologist to the list.


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

OnTheFly said:


> Porn is brain poison.


It can be. That's why you can't be a week minded person.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

The philogynist said:


> I try not to complicate the issue of porn, which a lot people does.
> 
> Porn is simply people having sex on camera,


If you watch professional wrestling you'll see two people who pretend to hate each other do choreographed simulations of actual fighting. But it does not prepare you to be in a real fight.


> and if I get some ideas from that and want to try it with my wife, that's my choice.


There's nothing wrong w/ "I want to try that.", the danger is thinking that what you see there is what to expect.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

bobert said:


> Might want to tell them to clear their schedule... And add a psychologist to the list.


Let's not be insulting.


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

StarFires said:


> My goodness, you harbor some incredibly ridiculous notions. Or are you trying to rile us up?


Why do you say that?





StarFires said:


> Fun for you maybe but might not be fun for her. Not all women enjoy experimenting and many don't like feeling they are being experimented on.


So would you ever know in my marriage that she won't enjoy the sex we will have?


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

SpinyNorman said:


> Let's not be insulting.


I don't know, seems like pretty good advice to me.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

The philogynist said:


> I try not to complicate the issue of porn, which a lot people does.
> 
> Porn is simply people having sex on camera, and if I get some ideas from that and want to try it with my wife, that's my choice.


No one is dissing on your choice. We're only noting that you seem to be rather idealistic about some aspect, that may not turn out as you expect.

Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk


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## marcy* (Feb 27, 2010)

My hubby was my first. I wasn’t saving myself for my husband, it just happened that I didn’t like the boys who came after me. Is not about sex with others that I regret, but what I regret is not allowing myself to know men better before marriage. Being without experience I married the first one I thought was better than the rest, without even giving myself time to know him, and living in a small town without any better options, didn’t help. I rushed into marriage. I thought he was fun, nice, loving person, but he turned out to be controlling, immature, selfish, and with angry issues.


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

SpinyNorman said:


> This is far more significant than whether you dip your wick or not. Please do any potential spouse a favor by explaining this to her before you get married. You might also want to address this w/ a counselor to see if you could come around to a different view of matrimony. That probably sounds insulting, but I don't mean it that way, it's just that you and your spouse need to have a compatible view on the subject or else you will both pay a steep price.


Yes, I will definitely make sure that she is compatible with me.


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## StarFires (Feb 27, 2018)

It appears you found an entire community of people from all around the world to argue with. How is it you need this much attention? For a person who claims they've never had sex and are determined to remain a virgin until marriage, how do you think you know so much more than everyone else? You posted a rather vague and incomprehensive question to start with and have been doing nothing but arguing ever since. You haven't even acknowledged the answers to your question. You just argue with everything everybody says and bring up more ridiculous notions and outrageous philosophies. So if not for an answer to your question, why did you come here? What do you want from this community?


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

bobert said:


> Then do everyone a favor and don't get married. Maybe invest in a sexdoll instead. That'd give you everything you want.
> 
> Also, if you *do* find a partner (lord help her), make sure to disclose that tidbit of info to your future girlfriend. She'll love it!


Wow that sex doll insult wasn't even called for.

I will definitely talk about this with her and consider her needs as well.

You are really calling yourself making a prediction about my marriage.


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

SpinyNorman said:


> If you watch professional wrestling you'll see two people who pretend to hate each other do choreographed simulations of actual fighting. But it does not prepare you to be in a real fight.
> There's nothing wrong w/ "I want to try that.", the danger is thinking that what you see there is what to expect.


See, you are another one trying to make this complicated.

Sex is not a skill like wrestling is. Sex is a nature instinct.


----------



## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

The philogynist said:


> I will definitely talk to a sex therapist.


Good, he/she will have hundreds of hours talking to people w/ all difft. perspectives on sex as well as professional expertise.


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

SpinyNorman said:


> Let's not be insulting.


Thank you.


----------



## StarFires (Feb 27, 2018)

The philogynist said:


> Why do you say that?
> 
> So would you ever know in my marriage that she won't enjoy the sex we will have?


Don't bother, buddy. I'm done with your nonsense.


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

marcy* said:


> My hubby was my first. I wasn’t saving myself for my husband, it just happened that I didn’t like the boys who came after me. Is not about sex with others that I regret, but what I regret is not allowing myself to know men better before marriage. Being without experience I married the first one I thought was better than the rest, without even giving myself time to know him, and living in a small town without any better options, didn’t help. I rushed into marriage. I thought he was fun, nice, loving person, but he turned out to be controlling, immature, selfish, and with angry issues.


Thanks for the reply.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

The philogynist said:


> Sex is not a skill. Sex is a nature instinct.


Oh, you couldn't be more wrong there. The women married to men who think that are very, very unhappy. 

Here's some real advice, go buy this book. She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman (Kerner): Kerner, Ian: 8580001041469: Amazon.com: Books


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

StarFires said:


> It appears you found an entire community of people from all around the world to argue with. How is it you need this much attention? For a person who claims they've never had sex and are determined to remain a virgin until marriage, how do you think you know so much more than everyone else? You posted a rather vague and incomprehensive question to start with and have been doing nothing but arguing ever since. You haven't even acknowledged the answers to your question. You just argue with everything everybody says and bring up more ridiculous notions and outrageous philosophies. So if not for an answer to your question, why did you come here? What do you want from this community?


You seem like you don't understand what's going on.

I have been acknowledging the answers to my questions.


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

StarFires said:


> Don't bother, buddy. I'm done with your nonsense.


It's not nonsense.


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

bobert said:


> Oh, you couldn't be more wrong there. The women married to men who think that are very, very unhappy.
> 
> Here's some real advice, go buy this book. She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman (Kerner): Kerner, Ian: 8580001041469: Amazon.com: Books


So you are saying that having sex neen to be learned.

That penis in vagina is an actual skill?


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

Ultimately, if you and your spouse are happy it doesn't matter what we think. But you've expressed some concerns about entering marriage w/o experience, so not a bad idea to talk those out before you've taken the plunge.

Most of us are saying your expectations are unusual, but if your spouse is ok w/ them then again, it doesn't matter what we think. I think a therapist could also tell you what you would need to say to her to make sure she's on the same page.

Think of it like a home inspection before you buy a house, a few hundred dollars to avoid a potential 6-figure mistake.


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

SpinyNorman said:


> Good, he/she will have hundreds of hours talking to people w/ all difft. perspectives on sex as well as professional expertise.


Ok, thanks.


----------



## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

The philogynist said:


> So you are saying that having sex neen to be learned.
> 
> That penis in vagina is an actual skill?


It doesn't take skill to stick your penis into a hole. What _does _take skill is learning to use your "tool" and whole body to please your woman.


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

SpinyNorman said:


> Ultimately, if you and your spouse are happy it doesn't matter what we think. But you've expressed some concerns about entering marriage w/o experience, so not a bad idea to talk those out before you've taken the plunge.
> 
> Most of us are saying your expectations are unusual, but if your spouse is ok w/ them then again, it doesn't matter what we think. I think a therapist could also tell you what you would need to say to her to make sure she's on the same page.
> 
> Think of it like a home inspection before you buy a house, a few hundred dollars to avoid a potential 6-figure mistake.


Thank, this one gets it.


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

bobert said:


> It doesn't take skill to stick your penis into a hole. What _does _take skill is learning to use your "tool" and whole body to please your woman.


Well that is where my natural creativity comes into play.


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

The philogynist said:


> How in the world is porn is very unrealistic ideas of what sex should look like. There is actually penis in vagina copulation going. So how does it not look like what we do.


Sex with your wife should be about love and intimacy. Penis in vagina can be just penis in vagina, or can be expressioin of love and connections.

It looks like what you are interested is just physical act, but without connections. That would create very disappointing sex life.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

The philogynist said:


> So you are saying that having sex neen to be learned.
> 
> That penis in vagina is an actual skill?


NO - but making "penis in vagina" pleasurable FOR HER is a skill...


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

The philogynist said:


> Well that is where my natural creativity comes into play.


Being creative and being skilled are not the same thing. 

Refer back to post #62. Get the book.


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

WandaJ said:


> Sex with your wife should be about love and intimacy. Penis in vagina can be just penis in vagina, or can be expressioin of love and connections.
> 
> It looks like what you are interested is just physical act, but without connections. That would create very disappointing sex life.


So should one night stands be about love and intimacy too?

Do people have a disappointing sex life having one night stands?


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> NO - but making "penis in vagina" pleasurable FOR HER is a skill...


That is where my natural creativity comes into play.


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

bobert said:


> Being creative and being skilled are not the same thing.
> 
> Refer back to post #62. Get the book.


So you have to go to school to have sex?


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

The philogynist said:


> So you have to go to school to have sex?


Report back when you've read the book.


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

If you do not believe in marriage, why do you want to marry?


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

WandaJ said:


> If you do not believe in marriage, why do you want to marry?


When did I ever said that.

I very much so believe in marriage.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

The philogynist said:


> That is where my natural creativity comes into play.


You know what...why don't you read some more of the posts on this site about people with very unsatisfying sex lives, then you will see how much YOUR natural creativity will benefit you (in many cases, it WON'T).

I hope it all works out for you the way you want, but all I hear in all of your responses is YOU YOU YOU (and arguing)...and I don't know if that's from your inexperience or from watching too much porn, but it takes more than just YOUR perspective and YOUR technique and YOUR "creativity" to have a satisfying sex life. 
For another thing, you've mentioned that you don't want love and emotions tied to sex...well, you are not going to find many women who will enjoy that type of sex with you. Most women want the opposite of that - they WANT love and emotions included in the "penis in vagina" sex act. 

If you can't find a way to stop thinking only of yourself and your needs with sex (which you aren't even sure of yet), you will have a wife who is unsatisfied with sex with you.


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

The philogynist said:


> See, you are another one trying to make this complicated.
> 
> Sex is not a skill like wrestling is. Sex is a nature instinct.


No, not always. and you may not be compatible with your wife since you will not have sex before. You may end up in lifetime of dull sex. 
By your attitude here, I do not feel like you will be generous lover. ****er, maybe. the question is if she will enjoy that too.


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> You know what...why don't you read some more of the posts on this site about people with very unsatisfying sex lives, then you will see how much YOUR natural creativity will benefit you (in many cases, it WON'T).
> 
> I hope it all works out for you the way you want, but all I hear in all of your responses is YOU YOU YOU (and arguing)...and I don't know if that's from your inexperience or from watching too much porn, but it takes more than just YOUR perspective and YOUR technique and YOUR "creativity" to have a satisfying sex life.
> For another thing, you've mentioned that you don't want love and emotions tied to sex...well, you are not going to find many women who will enjoy that type of sex with you. Most women want the opposite of that - they WANT love and emotions included in the "penis in vagina" sex act.
> ...


You cam never predict the sexuality that will be in OUR marriage.


You said: "all I hear in all of your responses is YOU YOU YOU (and arguing)"

Well you misunderstand me do you?

You see, I'm not selfish at all, matter of fact I'm one of the most unselfish person you will ever meet.

I am going to love her more outside the bedroom.


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

The philogynist said:


> So you are saying that having sex neen to be learned.
> 
> That penis in vagina is an actual skill?


YES - it's a skill.
If you push your penis in too deep, it can hurt...if you don't push it in far enough, she might not be able to feel it at all. She might not enjoy just "penis in vagina", she might need touching while you are doing that...
YOU are a virgin. Take it from the people who have been having sex for a LONG time, even just "penis in vagina" takes SKILL, unless you only care about yourself and YOUR pleasure. THAT is the easy part - YOUR pleasure...but that won't make you a good lover for your woman.


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

The philogynist said:


> You cam never predict the sexuality that will be in OUR marriage.
> 
> 
> You said: "all I hear in all of your responses is YOU YOU YOU (and arguing)"
> ...


And what if she doesn't want that...?? What if she wants you to love her more during sex too?


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

WandaJ said:


> No, not always. and you may not be compatible with your wife since you will not have sex before. You may end up in lifetime of dull sex.
> By your attitude here, I do not feel like you will be generous lover. ****er, maybe. the question is if she will enjoy that too.


You can't make a prediction or assumption about what OUR marriage will be like.

I will be a generous lover.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

The philogynist said:


> I seems that a virgin can have that preperation by watching porn.


Sex in marriage is not like porn sex. What porn does is builds unrealistic expectations. If you are using porn as your sexual outlet, you are setting yourself up to be a failure in marriage with regards to your marital sex life.

One thing using porn like this does is makes it so that a man cannot respond sexually to life, breathing women. No woman can compete with the drama (over acting) and stimulation of being able to get off with one different woman after another woman.

All porn is teaching is how out how jack off to porn.


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> YES - it's a skill.
> If you push your penis in too deep, it can hurt...if you don't push it in far enough, she might not be able to feel it at all. She might not enjoy just "penis in vagina", she might need touching while you are doing that...
> YOU are a virgin. Take it from the people who have been having sex for a LONG time, even just "penis in vagina" takes SKILL, unless you only care about yourself and YOUR pleasure. THAT is the easy part - YOUR pleasure...but that won't make you a good lover for your woman.


It is not a skill to insert the penis in the vagina.

All of that other stuff you just said I can do with creativity.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

The philogynist said:


> Well are the people in porn not having sex as well?


Jacking off to porn is having sex with yourself while watching fantasy sex. 

The people in porn are play acting. The way women in porn act is not realistic. That's no how women usually act while have sex in real life.


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> And what if she doesn't want that...?? What if she wants you to love her more during sex too?


How in the world can love be more in sex than outside of sex?


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

The philogynist said:


> Well the mechanical sex is the real sex it's just that simple.
> 
> Even though there is a threesome, it is still penis in vagina, so in essence the fact remains sex is sex.
> 
> ...


Sorry, sex is NOT just having sex unless you are the type of person that can compartmentalize it -- that it is just a physical thing with no emotions involved. THAT is not what a religious sex life is supposed to be. For most religions, the sex is to bond the man and woman and make the marriage strong. It keeps the H/W from straying -- they have sex ONLY with each other. This means emotions - real deep, true emotional involvement, not just going through the physical motions.

Porn is acting. It is scripted. They start, stop, film, get into really uncomfortable positions, etc.
If you want to get IDEAS (like try oral sex, try anal sex, try ....) you can get IDEAS from porn, but it is NOT real. 

Listen to the folks who HAVE had sex -- we are all telling you that it is NOT what REAL sex is like.

HERE is how you learn about sex WITH YOUR WIFE.
Worship her body and pay ATTENTION to her reactions. Kiss, lick, fingers, hands, etc. -- ALL over her body. READ what her body tells you - you will tell if she likes it or not. If she likes that, file it away so you can build up the repertoire of what SHE likes. Try anything/everythign that you both agree to that you can do just the two of you (adding any additional parties to ME is fraught with danger for your marriage).
LOVE her and express that love DURING sex.


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

EleGirl said:


> Sex in marriage is not like porn sex. What porn does is builds unrealistic expectations. If you are using porn as your sexual outlet, you are setting yourself up to be a failure in marriage with regards to your marital sex life.
> 
> One thing using porn like this does is makes it so that a man cannot respond sexually to life, breathing women. No woman can compete with the drama (over acting) and stimulation of being able to get off with one different woman after another woman.
> 
> All porn is teaching is how out how jack off to porn.


You said: No woman can compete with the drama (over acting) and stimulation of being able to get off with one different woman after another woman.

Isn't that what casual sex is?


You can't make predictions about the sexuality that will be in our marriage.


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

The philogynist said:


> See you don't understand, I don't care about the emotions ect. That's neither here nor there. I'm just about to mechanics.
> 
> People makes the issue of porn so difficult.


If that is how you truly feel, it is JUST a physical act, then why are you waiting until you get married?
If you think this way, well you eat every day -- just a physical act. You go to the bathroom, just a physical thing. If sex is that to you, just a physical thing, what is the point of waiting?


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

The philogynist said:


> How in the world is porn is very unrealistic ideas of what sex should look like. There is actually penis in vagina copulation going. So how does it not look like what we do.


The very fact that you are asking this question makes it very clear that you are either clueless about sex in real life with a real woman.



The philogynist said:


> Well I don't have a woman yet so a little porn seems to be my outlet right now. I am gradually treading in this world the best I can. What I do is ultimately between me and God.


Yes, what you do is between you and God. It will also have a huge impact on your marriage and your marital sex life.

Keep in mind that if you are a Christian, you should not be using porn because it's very much against the religious rules/laws. Fornication is a sin. Anyone who is in the porn video is committing fornication. You watching the porn means that you are participating in the fornication. Also, masturbation is a sin per Christianity.



The philogynist said:


> So I kindly ask, don't start with the judging


No one is judging. It just that if you claim to be Christian, then it's odd that you chose one type of sin to avoid another.


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

EleGirl said:


> Jacking off to porn is having sex with yourself while watching fantasy sex.
> 
> The people in porn are play acting. The way women in porn act is not realistic. That's no how women usually act while have sex in real life.


Well can me and my wife not play act and role play as well?


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

The philogynist said:


> Well are the people in porn not having sex as well?
> 
> You're right, me and my wife will sexual experiment with together. I am a very creative person so it will be fun.
> 
> ...


How old are you?


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

The philogynist said:


> How in the world can love be more in sex than outside of sex?


The fact that you have to ask this question shows why you need to stop arguing with everyone who is giving you advice and LISTEN and ACCEPT that you are going to have to LEARN how to please the particular woman that YOU marry.

If that's what you mean by "creativity" - that you are willing to listen to her and pay attention to what SHE wants, and how HER body responds to you - then you are on the right track!

But if you are stubbornly sticking to the idea that she will like whatever YOU decide to do to her, whatever feels good to YOU, then you will be missing out on having and creating a satisfying sex life with your partner.


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

The philogynist said:


> Well can me and my wife not play act and role play as well?


Do you want her to play-act having orgasms...? Would you be happy if your wife faked having orgasms with you...?
THAT is what is mostly fake in porn - those women are mostly NOT feeling pleasure with what you see being done to them, they are PRETENDING, so guys like you who are watching can enjoy the (fake) show.


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

The philogynist said:


> Sex is a nature instinct.


True, the actual act. 


The philogynist said:


> So you are saying that having sex neen to be learned.
> 
> That penis in vagina is an actual skill?


YES IT IS A SKILL if you want to be a good lover. If you just want to wham bam and you are done, I can pretty much guarantee that your wife will NOT be a happy camper.
You need SKILL to make HER orgasm they way SHE needs it (women are different and what works for one does NOT work for another).
You need SKILL to become a good lover.
Porn will NOT teach you that. At all. if your idea is that sex is just an instinct, and you just want to rut like an animal, then why even bother to watch porn? Just stick it in until you are done. Your wife will be complaining about you to her girlfriends, sisters, etc. how LOUSY you are in bed. Do you want your wife to think that about you?


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

jlg07 said:


> Sorry, sex is NOT just having sex unless you are the type of person that can compartmentalize it -- that it is just a physical thing with no emotions involved. THAT is not what a religious sex life is supposed to be. For most religions, the sex is to bond the man and woman and make the marriage strong. It keeps the H/W from straying -- they have sex ONLY with each other. This means emotions - real deep, true emotional involvement, not just going through the physical motions.
> 
> Porn is acting. It is scripted. They start, stop, film, get into really uncomfortable positions, etc.
> If you want to get IDEAS (like try oral sex, try anal sex, try ....) you can get IDEAS from porn, but it is NOT real.
> ...


You said: "Worship her body and pay ATTENTION to her reactions. Kiss, lick, fingers, hands, etc. -- ALL over her body. READ what her body tells you - you will tell if she likes it or not. If she likes that, file it away so you can build up the repertoire of what SHE likes. Try anything/everythign that you both agree to that you can do just the two of you... LOVE her and express that love DURING sex."

Um, they do all of that in porn as well.


I can compartmentalize it.


Everyone else is just that everyone else. They really don't know how I'm going to do sex in my marriage.


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

The philogynist said:


> You said: "Worship her body and pay ATTENTION to her reactions. Kiss, lick, fingers, hands, etc. -- ALL over her body. READ what her body tells you - you will tell if she likes it or not. If she likes that, file it away so you can build up the repertoire of what SHE likes. Try anything/everythign that you both agree to that you can do just the two of you... LOVE her and express that love DURING sex."
> 
> Um, they do all of that in porn as well.
> 
> ...


NO they don't do that for real in porn -- they PLAY at doing it. They are NOT DOING it to please their partner, they are doing it to play to the camera.
You should focus on pleasing YOUR WIFE -- not what porn actresses play act at liking.

So, if you can compartmentalize it and sex is just a physical act, there is NO reason to wait. Go on out and get your groove on and try all those porn-star moves on women.

You say you want to stay a virgin due to your religious beliefs -- I think that you DO NOT understand the point of virginity that your religion is trying to preach. IT is not just to not have premarital sex. It is SPECIFICALLY, religiously speaking, a gift from God that is specific to the state of marriage (since clergy and singles should NOT be having sex). It is meant for the "two to become one" and that is NOT just in the physical sense.

I will tell you this, if sex for you with your wife is just that -- a physical act, you are missing out on a lot.


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

The philogynist said:


> Everyone else is just that everyone else. They really don't know how I'm going to do sex in my marriage.


Uh-huh, you are correct...so what you say when people are posting advice to you, is, "oh, that's a great idea, I will try that", and, "ok, thanks, I didn't think of it that way before", and, "yes, that's what I was thinking too"...THOSE are responses to advice that show you are LISTENING and APPRECIATING the information that others with more experience than YOU have are sharing with you.

You SAY that you are going to approach your sex life in an open, learning way, but you can't even take any suggestions from other about what our experiences are like -- you don't appear here like someone who has ANY interest in listening and learning things that fall outside of YOUR idea of how things should go...that attitude will not bring enjoyment and satisfaction to you or your partner...


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

jlg07 said:


> You say you want to stay a virgin due to your religious beliefs -- I think that you DO NOT understand the point of virginity that your religion is trying to preach. IT is not just to not have premarital sex. It is SPECIFICALLY, religiously speaking, a gift from God that is specific to the state of marriage (since clergy and singles should NOT be having sex). It is meant for the "two to become one" and that is NOT just in the physical sense.


THIS is a brilliant point!!


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

jlg07 said:


> If that is how you truly feel, it is JUST a physical act, then why are you waiting until you get married?
> If you think this way, well you eat every day -- just a physical act. You go to the bathroom, just a physical thing. If sex is that to you, just a physical thing, what is the point of waiting?


Because marriage is a type of "order" in this world.

And we need as much order as we can in this chaotic world.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

The philogynist said:


> Well can me and my wife not play act and role play as well?


Sex in marriage is about forming a strong emotional connection. Sure, some play acting and role play is fun. But most of the time, sex in marriage needs to real, honest, and meeting each other's needs.

An example is that in porn, the woman usually has a way over the top reaction by screaming, moaning loud, and reacts very strong to orgasm. The fact is that 99% of the time those women in porn not having an orgasm. They are pretending. 

Your wife will not react with all those theatrics. That's not real.


----------



## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Are you autistic? Do you have a diagnosis of some kind of spectrum?


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

EleGirl said:


> The very fact that you are asking this question makes it very clear that you are either clueless about sex in real life with a real woman.
> 
> 
> Yes, what you do is between you and God. It will also have a huge impact on your marriage and your marital sex life.
> ...


Note: let's not talk about religion anymore during this conversation ok.


There you go making assumptions. Ok then you explain in detail how can I love her more in bed that outside of bed.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

The philogynist said:


> Well the mechanical sex is the real sex it's just that simple.
> 
> Even though there is a threesome, it is still penis in vagina, so in essence the fact remains sex is sex.
> 
> ...


For a guy who claims to have never had sex with a live, breathing woman, you sure think you know what it's like. You are telling everyone who has had a lot of sex that they are wrong. That sort of amusing.


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

The philogynist said:


> Because marriage is a type of "order" in this world.
> 
> And we need as much order as we can in this chaotic world.


Well going out and having lots of random emotionless sex can provide "order" to your physical body, no? 
The "order" isn't magic -- you get order just because you are married. It takes TONS of work to have a marriage really work and that work is forever -- the entire life of the marriage (which many people forget). You are missing that the framework of marriage only works DUE to the love and emotions between the partners.

If you think that is not the case, please read almost ANY story in the "coping with infidelity" section -- LOTS and LOTS of "it was only sex", "it didn't mean anything" -- and yet, it destroyed entire families and friend circles. 
Do you think THAT is order?


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> The fact that you have to ask this question shows why you need to stop arguing with everyone who is giving you advice and LISTEN and ACCEPT that you are going to have to LEARN how to please the particular woman that YOU marry.
> 
> If that's what you mean by "creativity" - that you are willing to listen to her and pay attention to what SHE wants, and how HER body responds to you - then you are on the right track!
> 
> But if you are stubbornly sticking to the idea that she will like whatever YOU decide to do to her, whatever feels good to YOU, then you will be missing out on having and creating a satisfying sex life with your partner.


I am listening to everyone. Even though most don't have a clue about what I will do in my marriage.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

The philogynist said:


> See you don't understand, I don't care about the emotions ect. That's neither here nor there. I'm just about to mechanics.
> 
> People makes the issue of porn so difficult.


No, sex in a good relationship is not just about mechanics. It's completely about emotions.


----------



## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

The philogynist said:


> I am listening to everyone. Even though most don't have a clue about what I will do in my marriage.


I think the person who does not have a clue here is you....


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> Do you want her to play-act having orgasms...? Would you be happy if your wife faked having orgasms with you...?
> THAT is what is mostly fake in porn - those women are mostly NOT feeling pleasure with what you see being done to them, they are PRETENDING, so guys like you who are watching can enjoy the (fake) show.


See this proves that you don't know what going on [about me.]

She can do whatever she wants in bed. If she wants to play-act having orgasms she can. If she wants to be genuine have orgasms she can. That will be "US" experimenting.


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

jlg07 said:


> True, the actual act.
> 
> YES IT IS A SKILL if you want to be a good lover. If you just want to wham bam and you are done, I can pretty much guarantee that your wife will NOT be a happy camper.
> You need SKILL to make HER orgasm they way SHE needs it (women are different and what works for one does NOT work for another).
> ...


Having fun assuming what the sex in our marriage will be like?

It boggles my mind that a person can just sit there and make up "inaccurate" assumptions about another person sex life.


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

The philogynist said:


> I am listening to everyone. Even though most don't have a clue about what I will do in my marriage.


You are listening to argue back, that's what I mean...you are not reading what we are writing here and taking the advice of people experienced with good and bad sex, and being grateful for our ideas and our explanations - you only want to argue back that we don't know, and it won't be like that for YOU, etc etc...

Here's the thing - YOU don't know what it will be like either! You seem to think it will be like porn, and that's what we - those of us who've had REAL sex for years - are trying to warn you against, so you can do better.
Can you understand that...?? ALL the commenters here are trying to HELP you so you can have a satisfying sex life. No one is challenging you so we can ruin your future sex life, we are only responding to you to help give you information, and realistic expectations.

You are responding to us as if we are fighting you - but we are only trying to help, and you are refusing that help.


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

The philogynist said:


> See this proves that you don't know what going on [about me.]
> 
> She can do whatever she wants in bed. If she wants to play-act having orgasms she can. If she wants to be genuine have orgasms she can. That will be "US" experimenting.


_Sigh!_
Ok...well, good luck with everything...I hope it works out the way you want it to...


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> Uh-huh, you are correct...so what you say when people are posting advice to you, is, "oh, that's a great idea, I will try that", and, "ok, thanks, I didn't think of it that way before", and, "yes, that's what I was thinking too"...THOSE are responses to advice that show you are LISTENING and APPRECIATING the information that others with more experience than YOU have are sharing with you.
> 
> You SAY that you are going to approach your sex life in an open, learning way, but you can't even take any suggestions from other about what our experiences are like -- you don't appear here like someone who has ANY interest in listening and learning things that fall outside of YOUR idea of how things should go...that attitude will not bring enjoyment and satisfaction to you or your partner...


Because most of the suggestions and information that are being given is wrong about me and how me and my wife will do our marriage.

You don't have a clue about that.


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

The philogynist said:


> I am listening to everyone. Even though most don't have a clue about what I will do in my marriage.


From what you yourself has said YOU DON'T REALLY know what you will do in your marriage -- you've never done it (sex OR marriage).
Look we would all be thrilled if it all works out as you are thinking it will.
We are all just trying to help you open your eyes that your "expectations" may NOT match with reality.


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

The philogynist said:


> Having fun assuming what the sex in our marriage will be like?
> 
> It boggles my mind that a person can just sit there and make up "inaccurate" assumptions about another person sex life.


YOU are assuming what the sex in your marriage will be -- you really DO NOT KNOW and you have NO frame of reference.
It's like reading about flying and then being dropped into a cockpit of an airliner at 10k feet. MUCH MUCH MUCH different.
Actually its WORSE than that. You are thinking that because you watched Top Gun 10x that you can fly a fighter jet.

In fact, I cannot make up "inaccurate" assumptions -- there is NOTHING to assume about! You don't HAVE a sex life, You don't HAVE a marriage.


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

EleGirl said:


> Sex in marriage is about forming a strong emotional connection. Sure, some play acting and role play is fun. But most of the time, sex in marriage needs to real, honest, and meeting each other's needs.
> 
> An example is that in porn, the woman usually has a way over the top reaction by screaming, moaning loud, and reacts very strong to orgasm. The fact is that 99% of the time those women in porn not having an orgasm. They are pretending.
> 
> Your wife will not react with all those theatrics. That's not real.


You said: "Your wife will not react with all those theatrics."

There you go again.


You said: "...about forming a strong emotional connection."

But can't you do that with any friend without having sex with them?


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

WandaJ said:


> I think the person who does not have a clue here is you....


Explain.


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

The person who should be most concerned about marrying a virgin is your spouse.

I am strongly of the opinion, though you may not agree, that marrying someone who gets well into their 20's without having sex is someone who does not place all that much personal value sex. Or who places too much value on sex, which can be equally problematic. 

I didn't say everyone, and I'm not saying that about you, but it makes me three and a half decades after marrying someone like this very nervous.


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

Mr.Married said:


> Are you autistic? Do you have a diagnosis of some kind of spectrum?


No I'm not autistic.


----------



## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

The philogynist said:


> Explain.


If you’re lonely and unhappy being single then you’re not ready for a relationship.


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

EleGirl said:


> For a guy who claims to have never had sex with a live, breathing woman, you sure think you know what it's like. You are telling everyone who has had a lot of sex that they are wrong. That sort of amusing.


So you mean to tell me as a male organism with a phallus, that I don't know where to put it instinctively?

That really is an insult to my intelligence.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

The philogynist said:


> So you are saying that having sex neen to be learned.
> 
> That penis in vagina is an actual skill?


Yes, sex is not just penis in vagina. Women do not experience sex in the same way that men do. You have no idea how women experience sex.

For example, most women, about 80%, cannot have an orgasm from penis in vagina. That what the book "She Comes First" teaches.
Penis in vagina is only one of the many aspects of good sex.


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

The philogynist said:


> Yes, I will definitely make sure that she is compatible with me.


The ONLY way to determine if two people are sexually compatible is to have sex, ESPECIALLY if one of them is a virgin. Someone with experience can have that conversation with some insight, but not a virgin. It's like asking someone who has never driven a car the nuances of double clutching. 

I stand by that opinion 110%.


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

The philogynist said:


> So you mean to tell me as a male organism with a phallus, that I don't know where to put it instinctively?
> 
> That really is an insult to my intelligence.


UGH!!!!!!


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

55 posts in five hours. Must be some kind of record.


----------



## Hiner112 (Nov 17, 2019)

I didn't read all of the posts so some of this is probably redundant.

Short list of things that you'll have to learn about sex (IE develop as a skill) if you are serious about being a good lover. Almost none of which are demonstrated in porn and most are hard skills to develop without a specific partner. Having said that reading up on tips either from books or from real people that have experience can get you to the point that you aren't terrible starting out. You probably won't be good but you won't be terrible as long as you have some idea what you don't know and are conscientious in how you approach the act.

1. Understand the way your body is reacting and feeling so that you can control to some extent when you orgasm.
2. Cunnilingus is generally not very photogenic when done right since it would generally just be eyes (and sometimes a nose) above her pubic mound or just the back of a head. What you see in porn is generally not a very good example of how to do it. You will have to learn from her how hard to suck and lick. You will eventually need to be able make adjustments without verbal feedback.
3. Interpret the way she is reacting so that you know what you are doing that is working or not. Her reactions are generally not going to be like what you see in porn. They are going to be more subtle like an in drawn breath, a tilting of the hips, or arching of the back. Telling the difference between the "right there" and "stop" without her telling you is going to take some practice.
4. The frequency of the thrusts and the speed with which you move are generally things that will be specific to your partner and will generally change depending on her mood, where she is in her cycle, or even how turned on she is at a particular moment during the act. Being able to determine what will please her the most and how well you maintain consistency once you've figured it out is one of things that determines whether you're a good lover or not.
5. A minority of women achieve orgasm by penetration alone. Investigating what it is gets her there and then do it consistently. At lest as often as she helps you to orgasm. This will likely be partner specific though clitoral stimulation is the most common.


Besides all of those interpretive and physical skills, if you aren't interacting well outside the bedroom you'll never get the chance inside it. For many women, you doing the cooking, dishes, and laundry is foreplay. Taking an interest in what she cares about is an aphrodisiac. Making her feel safe emotionally and physically helps her to feel adventurous.


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

The philogynist said:


> So you mean to tell me as a male organism with a phallus, that I don't know where to put it instinctively?
> 
> That really is an insult to my intelligence.


If you come at your prospective mate with the attitude displayed here, it won't be your intelligence she's insulting.


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

jlg07 said:


> Well going out and having lots of random emotionless sex can provide "order" to your physical body, no?
> The "order" isn't magic -- you get order just because you are married. It takes TONS of work to have a marriage really work and that work is forever -- the entire life of the marriage (which many people forget). You are missing that the framework of marriage only works DUE to the love and emotions between the partners.
> 
> If you think that is not the case, please read almost ANY story in the "coping with infidelity" section -- LOTS and LOTS of "it was only sex", "it didn't mean anything" -- and yet, it destroyed entire families and friend circles.
> Do you think THAT is order?


You said: :Well going out and having lots of random emotionless sex can provide "order" to your physical body, no"?

No, it can potentially cause disaster to your body and you life.


Yes, marriage is about work as well, but guess what, it will be work that we enjoy.


The institution of marriage protects you from most of that disaster.


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Cletus said:


> 55 posts in five hours. Must be some kind of record.


To ME, that's a testament to the generosity and dedication of the TAM posters, trying to help!

This group is AWESOME!!! 💜


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

EleGirl said:


> No, sex in a good relationship is not just about mechanics. It's completely about emotions.


I never said that sex was "just" about mechanics.

But just know that sex is not love.


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

The philogynist said:


> You said: :Well going out and having lots of random emotionless sex can provide "order" to your physical body, no"?
> 
> No, it can potentially cause disaster to your body and you life.
> 
> ...


A poor marriage can ALSO cause disaster to your body and your life -- again, read the "coping with infidelity" forum.
I sincerely hope NONE of that ever happens to you -- the institution of marriage itself protects you from NOTHING.
You and your partner need to protect each other AND your marriage for that to work.


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

jlg07 said:


> From what you yourself has said YOU DON'T REALLY know what you will do in your marriage -- you've never done it (sex OR marriage).
> Look we would all be thrilled if it all works out as you are thinking it will.
> We are all just trying to help you open your eyes that your "expectations" may NOT match with reality.


Look there is tons of women in this world. So I'm not really worried.

You have your people, and I will have my woman.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

The philogynist said:


> I never said that sex was "just" about mechanics.
> 
> But just know that sex is not love.


In a good relationship, sex is about expressing love and about building a strong bond. Sex is a very big part of love in a relationship.


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

The philogynist said:


> Look there is tons of women in this world. So I'm not really worried.
> 
> You have your people, and I will have my woman.


 I don't have my people -- I have my WIFE and have for 36 years (married for 32).

I DO wish you luck.
BTW, are you engaged, or have a GF? IS your marriage coming up? Just curious.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

The philogynist said:


> So you mean to tell me as a male organism with a phallus, that I don't know where to put it instinctively?


You do not seem to understand that sex, good sex, is not just about where you put your phallus. That's only one small part of good sex.


The philogynist said:


> That really is an insult to my intelligence.


No, the insult to your intelligence are your many posts in which you seem to think that sex is just about where you stick your phallus.


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

The philogynist said:


> The institution of marriage protects you from most of that disaster.


The institution of marriage will expose every weakness you and your spouse have as a couple, both in and out of the bedroom. It will require more sacrifice, hard work, and self sacrifice than any other thing you will ever do, save raise children. A bad night of casual sex ends with no one getting another phone call. A bad sexual partner in a marriage ends in dissatisfaction, divorce, infidelity, or worse. 

Your self-professed creativity is necessary but completely insufficient protection from that possibility.


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

So @EleGirl :


EleGirl said:


> where you put your *phallus*. That's only one small part of good sex.


Was this a Freudian slip? 
Sorry, I couldn't resist. I will give my self a time out.....


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

jlg07 said:


> YOU are assuming what the sex in your marriage will be -- you really DO NOT KNOW and you have NO frame of reference.
> It's like reading about flying and then being dropped into a cockpit of an airliner at 10k feet. MUCH MUCH MUCH different.
> Actually its WORSE than that. You are thinking that because you watched Top Gun 10x that you can fly a fighter jet.
> 
> In fact, I cannot make up "inaccurate" assumptions -- there is NOTHING to assume about! You don't HAVE a sex life, You don't HAVE a marriage.


So are you telling me as a male organism that has a phallus that I have no clue where to put it?

That is an insult to my intelligence.


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

The philogynist said:


> So are you telling me as a male organism that has a phallus that I have no clue where to put it?
> 
> That is an insult to my intelligence.


You thinking that just putting a phallus someplace is all that is required for sex in a marriage is insulting your OWN intelligence. No help from me required.


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

Cletus said:


> The institution of marriage will expose every weakness you and your spouse have as a couple, both in and out of the bedroom. It will require more sacrifice, hard work, and self sacrifice than any other thing you will ever do, save raise children. A bad night of casual sex ends with no one getting another phone call. A bad sexual partner in a marriage ends in dissatisfaction, divorce, infidelity, or worse.
> 
> Your self-professed creativity is necessary but completely insufficient protection from that possibility.


So you saying marriage is a bad thing?


----------



## Hiner112 (Nov 17, 2019)

The philogynist said:


> So are you telling me as a male organism that has a phallus that I have no clue where to put it?
> 
> That is an insult to my intelligence.


Knowing where to put it is the easy part. Know how to put it there has a lot more nuance. I can think of at least 4 alternatives for the "where" as it is.


----------



## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

The philogynist said:


> So are you telling me as a male organism that has a phallus that I have no clue where to put it?
> 
> That is an insult to my intelligence.


You could put it in her vagina, you could put it in her rear, you could put it in her mouth, you could put it in her hand, you could put it between her boobs, heck, you could put it between her feet.

Doesn't mean the sex will be _good_ just that you're having sex. 

You are making yourself look like a fool, no one else has to do that for you.


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

The philogynist said:


> So you saying marriage is a bad thing?


If I wanted to say that marriage was a bad thing, I would not have been coy about it.

Marriage is a challenge, not a shield.


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

jlg07 said:


> You thinking that just putting a phallus someplace is all that is required for sex in a marriage is insulting your OWN intelligence. No help from me required.


I never said that it is the "only" thing.

But you trying to say that sex is such a "skill" that I have to go to some school to learn.

Did you have to go to school to learn how to copulate?


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

The philogynist said:


> You said: "...about forming a strong emotional connection."
> 
> But can't you do that with any friend without having sex with them?


There is a purpose for sex in marriage beyond procreation. The purpose is to strongly bond the couple together is a way that friends do not bond. When a couple has sex, it causes the brain to produce and uptake large amounts of feel-good hormones like dopamine, oxytocin, etc. These large surges of dopamine cause an addiction of sort that makes a couple want to have more sex with each other to get the high over and over. Oxytocin is the bonding hormone. It causes the couple to form a very strong bond emotionally. This is all biology. The idea by nature (or as given by God) is that human couples need to stay together for many years to produce children and raise them to adulthood. These chemicals flood the brain and bond the couple together emotionally. Without sex in the marriage, most couples will fall out of love and get to the point where they cannot stand each other. Women are more susceptible to this than men... the woman will get to the point where she does not want her husband around her and will not want to be touched by him.

So yea, if you want a good marriage, sex in your marriage has to be about emotions. You have to meet your wife's sexual needs, and her sexual needs are about a lot more than where you put your phallus.


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

bobert said:


> You could put it in her vagina, you could put it in her rear, you could put it in her mouth, you could put it in her hand, you could put it between her boobs, heck, you could put it between her feet.
> 
> Doesn't mean the sex will be _good_ just that you're having sex.
> 
> You are making yourself look like a fool, no one else has to do that for you.


All of that you just said combined with creativity sounds like awesome sex to me.


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

The philogynist said:


> I never said that it is the "only" thing.
> 
> But you trying to say that sex is such a "skill" that I have to go to some school to learn.
> 
> Did you have to go to school to learn how to copulate?


Yes, if you want to do it with any skill.

That school may be a classroom of one with your spouse, but make no mistake about it. You are going to get an education whether you desire it or not.


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

The philogynist said:


> All of that you just said combined with creativity sounds like awesome sex to me.


And what will you do with all that creativity if your spouse find most of it disgusting?


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

The philogynist said:


> I never said that it is the "only" thing.
> 
> But you trying to say that sex is such a "skill" that I have to go to some school to learn.
> 
> Did you have to go to school to learn how to copulate?


The school I went to for my wife was having sex WITH MY WIFE and being emotionally connected with her -- not just putting it in and wiggling around a bit.
I learned what SHE likes, what SHE is willing to do - we explored all that together, as ANYONE who gets married has to do(EVEN IF YOU'VE HAD SEX WITH OTHERS).

You certainly CAN do that -- which is what I suggested umteen posts ago.
There IS a skill to GOOD sex. There isn't any skill to "sticking it in". Do you want your wife to think you are a great lover, or a 30-second charlie?
Your choice. The attitude you've shown to us all here is that you will be the latter since you KNOW all about sex (even though you haven't had it) because you went to the school of porn.


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

Cletus said:


> If I wanted to say that marriage was a bad thing, I would not have been coy about it.
> 
> Marriage is a challenge, not a shield.


Merriage is a shield, and it is better than having no shield.


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

Cletus said:


> And what will you do with all that creativity if your spouse find most of it disgusting?


Oh believe me, she will find my creativity awesome.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

The philogynist said:


> All of that you just said combined with creativity sounds like awesome sex to me.


What about the sex you have with your wife that has nothing to do with where you put your phallus? How about all the other things you should be doing for her that are only for her?


----------



## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

The philogynist said:


> Oh believe me, she will find my creativity awesome.


How do you know that? You haven't even MET her yet 🤔


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

The philogynist said:


> Oh believe me, she will find my creativity awesome.


Nevermind...I just...CAN'T...

This thread (OP) is making me dizzy...


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

EleGirl said:


> There is a purpose for sex in marriage beyond procreation. The purpose is to strongly bond the couple together is a way that friends do not bond. When a couple has sex, it causes the brain to produce and uptake large amounts of feel-good hormones like dopamine, oxytocin, etc. These large surges of dopamine cause an addiction of sort that makes a couple want to have more sex with each other to get the high over and over. Oxytocin is the bonding hormone. It causes the couple to form a very strong bond emotionally. This is all biology. The idea by nature (or as given by God) is that human couples need to stay together for many years to produce children and raise them to adulthood. These chemicals flood the brain and bond the couple together emotionally. Without sex in the marriage, most couples will fall out of love and get to the point where they cannot stand each other. Women are more susceptible to this than men... the woman will get to the point where she does not want her husband around her and will not want to be touched by him.
> 
> So yea, if you want a good marriage, sex in your marriage has to be about emotions. You have to meet your wife's sexual needs, and her sexual needs are about a lot more than where you put your phallus.


I'll tell you, that is a really overly romantic type of relationship you just explained.

My marriage is be more simpler.


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

bobert said:


> How do you know that? You haven't even MET her yet 🤔


I can't have confidence?


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

The philogynist said:


> Oh believe me, she will find my creativity awesome.


Ah, well, good for you. Guess I'm through having my chain yanked.


----------



## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

The philogynist said:


> I can't have confidence?


You could, but that's setting yourself up for failure. Regardless, "confidence" isn't what you're displaying here.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

The philogynist said:


> Oh believe me, she will find my creativity awesome.


How do you know that she will find your creativity awesome?

There are some women who only want sex with the man on top and they want him to finish quickly. There are other woman who will only do a very few things sexually. These women would not find your creativity awesome at all.

Most of the time, women who are like this are woman how have been brainwashed with wrongheaded religious nonsense telling them that women should not enjoy sex and that to do so is a sin.

There are men who have been taught this too. They too find that they cannot function well sexually with a live woman.

Since you have never had sex with a woman and never had a chance to see how your "awesome creativity" works out, you have no idea the woman you marry will like your creativity.


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

jlg07 said:


> The school I went to for my wife was having sex WITH MY WIFE and being emotionally connected with her -- not just putting it in and wiggling around a bit.
> I learned what SHE likes, what SHE is willing to do - we explored all that together, as ANYONE who gets married has to do(EVEN IF YOU'VE HAS SEX WITH OTHERS).
> 
> You certainly CAN do that -- which is what I suggested umteen posts ago.
> ...


My goodness you all just keep saying the same boring things over and over again. assumptions, assumptions.

Ofcourse it's not just put the penis in the vagina and that's it. It takes creativity as well. And how would I be created that is only for us to know.


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

bobert said:


> You could, but that's setting yourself up for failure. Regardless, "confidence" isn't what you're displaying here.
> 
> Are they doing roadwork on your bridge?


So what do you think I am displaying?


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

The philogynist said:


> So what do you think I am displaying?


In a pinch, I'd say a poorly constructed Turing test.


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

The philogynist said:


> My goodness you all just keep saying the same boring things over and over again. assumptions, assumptions.
> 
> Ofcourse it's not just put the penis in the vagina and that's it. It takes creativity as well. And how would I be created that is only for us to know.


So, I guess the REAL question here is -- why did you post? What were you hoping to get out of this (other than enjoying kicking the bees nest?)


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

The philogynist said:


> Cletus said:
> 
> 
> > The institution of marriage will expose every weakness you and your spouse have as a couple, both in and out of the bedroom. It will require more sacrifice, hard work, and self sacrifice than any other thing you will ever do, save raise children. A bad night of casual sex ends with no one getting another phone call. A bad sexual partner in a marriage ends in dissatisfaction, divorce, infidelity, or worse.
> ...


No, he's not saying that marriage is a bad thing. 

He's saying that like anything really worth doing it's a huge challenge and when it goes wrong, it can go very wrong. It can cause you more emotional pain than you can ever imagine.

A good, strong, fulfilling marriage takes a lot of work and is worth every bit of it.


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

EleGirl said:


> How do you know that she will find your creativity awesome?
> 
> There are some women who only want sex with the man on top and they want him to finish quickly. There are other woman who will only do a very few things sexually. These women would not find your creativity awesome at all.
> 
> ...


Well that's where the getting to know each other [no sex] before marriage comes into play.

Simple.


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

jlg07 said:


> So, I guess the REAL question here is -- why did you post? What were you hoping to get out of this (other than enjoying kicking the bees nest?)


You really don't see what happened here? 

You all turned this original post into something else. I didn't want to go hear. But you all keep being baffled at me with porn.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

The philogynist said:


> EleGirl said:
> 
> 
> > There is a purpose for sex in marriage beyond procreation. The purpose is to strongly bond the couple together is a way that friends do not bond. When a couple has sex, it causes the brain to produce and uptake large amounts of feel-good hormones like dopamine, oxytocin, etc. These large surges of dopamine cause an addiction of sort that makes a couple want to have more sex with each other to get the high over and over. Oxytocin is the bonding hormone. It causes the couple to form a very strong bond emotionally. This is all biology. The idea by nature (or as given by God) is that human couples need to stay together for many years to produce children and raise them to adulthood. These chemicals flood the brain and bond the couple together emotionally. Without sex in the marriage, most couples will fall out of love and get to the point where they cannot stand each other. Women are more susceptible to this than men... the woman will get to the point where she does not want her husband around her and will not want to be touched by him.
> ...


You seem to think that you will be in control of your marriage. There will be another person in your marriage who is equal to you. She has a say as well, every bit as much as you do. Most women want a romantic type marriage relationship. If she does not get that, she's very likely to divorce you. You alone are not in control of your marriage.


----------



## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

EleGirl said:


> No, he's not saying that marriage is a bad thing.
> 
> He's saying that like anything really worth doing it's a huge challenge and when it goes wrong, it can go very wrong. It can cause you more emotional pain than you can ever imagine.
> 
> A good, strong, fulfilling marriage takes a lot of work and is worth every bit of it.


And guess what, we will like that work.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

The philogynist said:


> EleGirl said:
> 
> 
> > How do you know that she will find your creativity awesome?
> ...


No, getting to know a woman before you marry her does not indicate how she will react to what you call awesome creativity sexually. She might find it just too weird. But you will not know until after you marry her.

I have no problem with people waiting until after marriage for sex. I see benefits of doing this. What's beyond odd is your entire way of looking at sex and sex in marriage.


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

EleGirl said:


> You seem to think that you will be in control of your marriage. There will be another person in your marriage who is equal to you. She has a say as well, every bit as much as you do. Most women want a romantic type marriage relationship. If she does not get that, she's very likely to divorce you. You alone are not in control of your marriage.


She will have a say.

She loves the marriage and doesn't divorce me. What will you say to that?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

The philogynist said:


> She will have a say.
> 
> She loves the marriage and doesn't divorce me. What will you say to that?


Sure there is a possibility that she will love the marriage and not divorce you. There is also a chance that she will grow to not love the marriage and divorce you. Only time will tell.

You have no way of knowing how any woman would react to your idea of sex since you have never had sex with a woman. So far, the attitude you have expressed here will be a turn off to most women.


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

EleGirl said:


> No, getting to know a woman before you marry her does not indicate how she will react to what you call awesome creativity sexually. She might find it just too weird. But you will not know until after you marry her.
> 
> I have no problem with people waiting until after marriage for sex. I see benefits of doing this. What's beyond odd is your entire way of looking at sex and sex in marriage.


See you don't know what you are talking about.

I'm going to explain the sexual creativity that I have. She can take it or leave it before the marriage.


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

EleGirl said:


> Sure there is a possibility that she will love the marriage and not divorce you. There is also a chance that she will grow to not love the marriage and divorce you. Only time will tell.
> 
> You have no way of knowing how any woman would react to your idea of sex since you have never had sex with a woman. So far, the attitude you have expressed here will be a turn off to most women.


Oh I beting on she will be satisfied with the marriage.


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

Hiner112 said:


> Knowing where to put it is the easy part. Know how to put it there has a lot more nuance. I can think of at least 4 alternatives for the "where" as it is.


Well there is no "how" unless she doesn't "let" it in.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

The philogynist said:


> Oh I beting on she will be satisfied with the marriage.


LOL... whatever.

At this point it looks like you are here on TAM only to troll our members and play games. That's not appreciated. You have received many many good replies. But you think you know more than people who have a lot more experience with these topics than you do. So clearly this community has nothing to offer you.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

The philogynist said:


> See you don't know what you are talking about.
> 
> I'm going to explain the sexual creativity that I have. She can take it or leave it before the marriage.


Do you intend to marry a woman who has a lot of sexual experience with other men prior to marriage? Or do you plan on marring a woman who is a virgin?

If she's a virgin, it's most likely that she will not even understand you when you describe your creativity.


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

EleGirl said:


> LOL... whatever.
> 
> At this point it looks like you are here on TAM only to troll our members and play games. That's not appreciated. You have received many many good replies. But you think you know more than people who have a lot more experience with these topics than you do. So clearly this community has nothing to offer you.


I'm not a troll by any means. Heck I don't even know what TAM means.

It's just that I'm not a conventional person, I have my own way of doing things.

And to be honest, you all took the conversation to this point. I do even think this was the original conversation.


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

EleGirl said:


> Do you intend to marry a woman who has a lot of sexual experience with other men prior to marriage? Or do you plan on marring a woman who is a virgin?
> 
> If she's a virgin, it's most likely that she will not even understand you when you describe your creativity.


Well I did plan on marrying another virgin. But given the society that I'm living in that will be kind of tough. So I may have to go with someone that had a sexual past. But I'm planning on being there best lover.


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

The philogynist said:


> Because most of the suggestions and information that are being given is wrong about me and how me and my wife will do our marriage.
> 
> You don't have a clue about that.


where is the laughing emoji when you need one? lol


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

I have to say, this thread was the most incredible thing I've come across on here in some time . There is NO way a grown man can be THIS obtuse. I never saw this question answered...



EleGirl said:


> How old are you?


Also, which culture are you from? I saw you denied being on the spectrum, so please answer Elegirl's question. According to my ex-husband, I married a virgin. In fact, I've been married to 2 virgins and lost my virginity with another. Not one of them was as naive/ignorant/stubborn (take your pick!) as your posts are portraying your attitude to be. 

Is the quarantine getting to you? Need some entertainment? Are you lonely? Unless you adjust your attitude, I quite doubt you will attract a wife unless you are super hot/rich. Even then, it will take a truly special kind of woman to give you a chance to lose your virginity, much less entertain the thought of marriage.

If you are genuinely interested in becoming a good husband/lover, please heed the advice our generous community has already provided. Good luck to you, I think you will need it.


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## fencewalker (Apr 17, 2020)

The philogynist said:


> Ultimately I will be satisfied with my marriage.


You don't know that. Everyone on here went into marriage thinking that and then stuff happened, a lot of it sexual stuff.



The philogynist said:


> I seems that a virgin can have that preperation by watching porn.


No. You may know what your fantasies are, but you will be unprepared for dealing with real-life problems when they occur. This is like saying watching a lot of basketball on t.v. will prepare you for the real thing.

I'm sure you have strongly held beliefs for going into marriage with no sexual preparation (it might be helpful if you could explain what those are), but I'd like to set those beliefs aside for the moment. Let's simply look at this from the point of view of someone trying to achieve success in something. Ultimately, you would like to achieve success in having a fulfilling, happy life and sex life with your wife (I'm assuming that you are a male looking for a female spouse. Please correct me if I'm wrong). Do you know of _anything _else in life where there is a high chance of success without preparation? If you want a good grade on a test, you have to study. If you want to get good at basketball, you need to practice. If you want to invent the light bulb, then like Edison said, you'll have to go through "several thousand things that won't work". Okay, you may not have to go through several thousand partners, but you get the idea. Again, putting your beliefs aside, going into a marriage without sexual preparation is absolutely the wrong strategy for success and will increase the chances of issues arising. And by the way, I'm not talking about not knowing some sweet moves in bed. You can learn those. I mean how to handle the loss of attraction for a spouse after the new-relationship electricity fades away. You've never had to deal with that. I'm talking about discovering that both of you simply like different things in bed - what's exciting for one makes the other squirm. I'm talking about one of you realizing, despite your upbringing, that maybe monogamy isn't right for you and that there are other relationship structures you would like to explore.

You already mentioned how you wish you had a sexual past to remember. This is a red flag. There are many stories on here about people who waited until marriage only to later resent their lack of exploration. Those feelings of wishing you had a sexual past to remember will not go away once you get married. They will only increase and you will begin to feel trapped. If there is any chance, any chance at all for you to reexamine your beliefs and allow yourself to do some exploring, you will be the better for it and your future relationship(s) will as well. You might even decide that monogamy is not right for you - it's just something you thought you had to do. And if you do choose to get married, that's fine too. The point is, like clothes shopping, you really won't know what partner and what relationship structure is right for you until you've tried a bunch.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

@The philogynist How old are you? I'm guessing that you are quite young?

Also, you say that you have based your decision to remain a virgin on, at least in part, your religious teaching and faith?

What faith is that? Have you spoken of your concerns to a church elder? Have you spoken with your parents?

I have noticed that your sentence structure indicates that you might have another language other than English as your first language? If so, you might have cultural differences with many of the members of TAM.


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

WandaJ said:


> where is the laughing emoji when you need one? lol


Oh, so now you are going to resort to laugh at me now, because you can't handle what I am saying.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

The philogynist said:


> Oh, so now you are going to resort to laugh at me now, because you can't handle what I am saying.


She is laughing because she is an experienced woman who understands all too well what you are saying, young man.


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

TXTrini said:


> I have to say, this thread was the most incredible thing I've come across on here in some time . There is NO way a grown man can be THIS obtuse. I never saw this question answered...
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Some people on here think that I am just trolling, which is not true.

But I feel that at this point a lot of you all are just trolling me.

So I just that I'm not giving trolls any more arsenal by saying more about my personal life besides I'm a virgin.

That's all you're going to get.


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

MattMatt said:


> She is laughing because she is an experienced woman who understands all too well what you are saying, young man.


I'm confident that I could bet you 1000 dollars that she really don't.


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

fencewalker said:


> You don't know that. Everyone on here went into marriage thinking that and then stuff happened, a lot of it sexual stuff.


Yeah, I don't know that, but I confident about that.



fencewalker said:


> No. You may know what your fantasies are, but you will be unprepared for dealing with real-life problems when they occur. This is like saying watching a lot of basketball on t.v. will prepare you for the real thing.
> 
> 
> I'm sure you have strongly held beliefs for going into marriage with no sexual preparation (it might be helpful if you could explain what those are), but I'd like to set those beliefs aside for the moment. Let's simply look at this from the point of view of someone trying to achieve success in something. Ultimately, you would like to achieve success in having a fulfilling, happy life and sex life with your wife (I'm assuming that you are a male looking for a female spouse. Please correct me if I'm wrong). Do you know of _anything _else in life where there is a high chance of success without preparation? If you want a good grade on a test, you have to study. If you want to get good at basketball, you need to practice. If you want to invent the light bulb, then like Edison said, you'll have to go through "several thousand things that won't work". Okay, you may not have to go through several thousand partners, but you get the idea. Again, putting your beliefs aside, going into a marriage without sexual preparation is absolutely the wrong strategy for success and will increase the chances of issues arising. And by the way, I'm not talking about not knowing some sweet moves in bed. You can learn those. I mean how to handle the loss of attraction for a spouse after the new-relationship electricity fades away. You've never had to deal with that. I'm talking about discovering that both of you simply like different things in bed - what's exciting for one makes the other squirm. I'm talking about one of you realizing, despite your upbringing, that maybe monogamy isn't right for you and that there are other relationship structures you would like to explore.
> ...


Well just like most others on here you are trying to say that nature sex is like something we go to school for. Why do you all keep saying that???

Sex is not a skill.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

The philogynist said:


> I'm confident that I could bet you 1000 dollars that she really don't.


Dude, all of us have one thing in common with you. Well, some of us two things.

1) We were all virgins, like you are.

2) Some of us thought we knew it all about how sex was and what it would be like.

And you know something? We were all, pretty much, clueless, one way or another.

But we all learn. Or end up frustrated and angry (with ourselves) if we don't.

And I don't take bets in Dollars. 😁


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

MattMatt said:


> @The philogynist How old are you? I'm guessing that you are quite young?
> 
> Also, you say that you have based your decision to remain a virgin on, at least in part, your religious teaching and faith?
> 
> ...


Note: let's just stop talking about religion anymore ok.

I feel that most people on here are just trolling me because they can't handle my way view of sexuality. So I'm not giving any other things about me besides I'm a virgin. 


I was born in the u.s. and speak full english as my only language.


I am planning on talking to a sex therapist.


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

MattMatt said:


> Dude, all of us have one thing in common with you. Well, some of us two things.
> 
> 1) We were all virgins, like you are.
> 
> ...


Ok, well let me ask you. What did you thought about sex before you got married and actually had sex?


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

The philogynist said:


> Yeah, I don't know that, but I confident about that.
> 
> 
> Well just like most others on here you are trying to say that nature sex is like something we go to school for. Why do you all keep saying that???
> ...


Oh, dear. Allow me to disabuse you of one notion - sex is not insert slot A into slot B. Neither is it a bull mounting a cow.

How old are you, again?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

The philogynist said:


> Ok, well let me ask you. What did you thought about sex before you got married and actually had sex?


Well, I had a religious background and was saving myself for marriage. And I had the thought that sex was mainly for making babies.

Then when I was visiting a distant town for work ( was 18 or 19, I think?) I saw a porn shop, went in and after several minutes of inner turmoil, actually bought some porn and was shocked to see that men AND women were both enjoying having sex! Obviously I was aware that it was only simulated sex (even the hardcore sex, if you see what I mean) and not 'real' but it helped me step out of the religious straitjacket that I'd been wearing and I eventually found my first girl friend and actually started having sex and enjoyed it very much. 

Which brought me to my marriage which is now in its 30th year.


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

Blondilocks said:


> Oh, dear. Allow me to disabuse you of one notion - sex is not insert slot A into slot B. Neither is it a bull mounting a cow.
> 
> How old are you, again?


No, it is penis in vagina in combination with a lot of creativity.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

The philogynist said:


> No, it is penis in vagina in combination with a lot of creativity.


Not for everyone. Don't forget that not everyone is heterosexual. Different strokes for different folks and all that. (No pun interned.)


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

I adore neophytes - so much fun to watch.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Blondilocks said:


> I adore neophytes - so much fun to watch.


Yeah. We use them in the garden, so... Oh. Sorry, no! That's nematodes. My bad! 😆


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

MattMatt said:


> Well, I had a religious background and was saving myself for marriage. And I had the thought that sex was mainly for making babies.
> 
> Then when I was visiting a distant town for work ( was 18 or 19, I think?) I saw a porn shop, went in and after several minutes of inner turmoil, actually bought some porn and was shocked to see that men AND women were both enjoying having sex! Obviously I was aware that it was only simulated sex (even the hardcore sex, if you see what I mean) and not 'real' but it helped me step out of the religious straitjacket that I'd been wearing and I eventually found my first girl friend and actually started having sex and enjoyed it very much.
> 
> Which brought me to my marriage which is now in its 30th year.


Well the difference between you and me is that you thought that sex was only for producing babies. Which I as a virgin now, know that is not true. Sex can be had just for sex.

It is real sex that the porn stars are having, and can be done at home.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

The philogynist said:


> My goodness you all just keep saying the same boring things over and over again. assumptions, assumptions.


Have you ever looked in the mirror kiddo?

You say that people here are saying the same thing over and over. I hate to break it to you kid... but you're doing that more than anyone else.

You say that people here are just making assumption after assumption... What exactly do you think you're doing?

You are making _assumptions_ that you know all about sex.

You are making _assumptions_ that porn and intimacy with a wife are the same thing.

You are making _assumptions_ that you will have a great sex life.

You are making _assumptions_ that your hypothetical wife will like being ****ed by you.

You are making _assumptions_ that there is no such thing as making love.

You are making _assumptions_ that you will find a woman who is a freak in the bedroom.

So, who is _really_ the one being repetitive and making assumptions?

Also, when about 20 people all share the same opinion, something is _probably_ wrong with the ONE guy who disagrees based on nothing but... _assumptions. _

Did mommy and daddy ground you and forget to take away your phone? You have refused to answer how old you are so... 🤔


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

The philogynist said:


> Well the difference between you and me is that you thought that sex was only for producing babies. Which I as a virgin now, know that is not true. Sex can be had just for sex.
> 
> It is real sex that the porn stars are having, and can be done at home.


Not so. Many of the porn stars are not actually having penetrative sex. They are only pretending. Pretty much in the same way that actors don't really stab, shoot or poison people on TV programmes like Murder, She Wrote or the like.


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

bobert said:


> Have you ever looked in the mirror kiddo?
> 
> You say that people here are saying the same thing over and over. I hate to break it to you kid... but you're doing that more than anyone else.
> 
> ...


@The philogynist Don't accuse people of trolling. That's against the rules and can be an offence for which people are banned. Consider this as a warning.


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## ah_sorandy (Jul 19, 2018)

The philogynist said:


> I'm not a troll by any means. *Heck I don't even know what TAM means.*
> 
> It's just that I'm not a conventional person, I have my own way of doing things.
> 
> And to be honest, you all took the conversation to this point. I do even think this was the original conversation.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

The philogynist said:


> You really messed up with that last quote. *You're one of the ones that I trying to troll me.* I already told you you get nothing besides I'm am a virgin.





The philogynist said:


> Don't accuse people of trolling. That's against the rules and can be an offence for which people are banned.


Hmm... Seems YOU just called me a troll.

And I didn't call you a troll there kiddo, I called you a child.



The philogynist said:


> Consider this as a warning.


LMAO. Who exactly do you think you are 🤣


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

MattMatt said:


> Not so. Many of the porn stars are not actually having penetrative sex. They are only pretending. Pretty much in the same way that actors don't really stab, shoot or poison people on TV programmes like Murder, She Wrote or the like.


What is with you all? penetration is penetrating, penis in vagina is penis in vagina, having sex is have sex. You are going to really try a tell me that I can not do the physical acks with a female like they do on camera.

Just constantly installing my intelligence.


What's wrong with you people?


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Seriously though, how long are the mods going to let this thread which is clearly... "unproductive" go on?


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

ah_sorandy said:


> View attachment 70074


So obviously I meant to say "don't." But I think you knew that.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

bobert said:


> Hmm... Seems YOU just called me a troll.
> 
> And I didn't call you a troll there kiddo, I called you a child.
> 
> ...


That was actually a warning to him. Which he ignored.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

@The philogynist you have received a warning not to call other members trolls.

Please abide by the rules.


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

MattMatt said:


> @The philogynist you have received a warning not to call other members trolls.
> 
> Please abide by the rules.


I don't call anyone a troll.

I said he was trolling, just like some of you have wrongly said to me that I was trolling.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

The philogynist said:


> *I don't call anyone a troll.
> 
> I said he was trolling*, just like some of you have wrongly said to me that I was trolling.


You do realize that you're contradicting yourself, right?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Don't argue with a moderator on any website. It never goes well.

One post called you a troll. That post was deleted.

Your posts accusing other members of trolling you were deleted.

Stop breaking the rules. Because if you don't you will be banned.


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

bobert said:


> You do realize that you're contradicting yourself, right?


How so? Explain.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

The philogynist said:


> How so? Explain.


You just admitted to breaking the rules about not accusing other members of being trolls/trolling.


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

MattMatt said:


> Don't argue with a moderator on any website. It never goes well.
> 
> One post called you a troll. That post was deleted.
> 
> ...


Ok fair enough.

I won't use the word troll anymore.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

READ the quote. In one line you said you didn't call anyone a troll, then in the next line you said *I* was trolling.

"*I don't call anyone a troll... I said he was trolling"*

You do realize that calling someone a troll and saying someone is troll_ing_ is the same thing, right?


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

MattMatt said:


> You just admitted to breaking the rules about not accusing other members of being trolls/trolling.


Like I just said, I won't use the word troll anymore.


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## The philogynist (Jul 7, 2020)

bobert said:


> READ the quote. In one line you said you didn't call anyone a troll, then in the next line you said *I* was trolling.
> 
> "*I don't call anyone a troll... I said he was trolling"*
> 
> You do realize that calling someone a troll and saying someone is troll_ing_ is the same thing, right?


Just like I said, I won't use the word troll anymore.


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

The philogynist said:


> Some people on here think that I am just trolling, which is not true.
> 
> But I feel that at this point a lot of you all are just trolling me.
> 
> ...


This is ALL you got from what I wrote? Btw, you never answered the question, age is relevant. 



The philogynist said:


> Note: let's just stop talking about religion anymore ok.
> 
> I feel that most people on here are just trolling me because they can't handle my way view of sexuality. So I'm not giving any other things about me besides I'm a virgin.
> 
> ...


We asked about culture, b/c many cultures have staggeringly different views on sex, which would explain your attitude, especially since are not: autistic, developmentally challenged (presumably) and intelligent (by the way, constantly telling people they're insulting your intelligence is quite telling, got a little God complex brewing perchance?)

btw, I was not born in the US, so culture is the ONLY explanation I can see for your thought process besides the other theories offered. 



The philogynist said:


> What is with you all? penetration is penetrating, penis in vagina is penis in vagina, having sex is have sex. You are going to really try a tell me that I can not do the physical acks with a female like they do on camera.
> 
> Just constantly installing my intelligence.
> 
> ...


Installing your intelligence? 

If you don't want to talk to grown-ups in an "intelligent" manner, you won't be taken seriously. It's about your bedtime now., right kiddo?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Yep @The philogynist. You will not be using the word troll anymore, because you are being banned. Permanently.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

The philogynist said:


> You really don't see what happened here?
> 
> You all turned this original post into something else. I didn't want to go hear. But you all keep being baffled at me with porn.


Doesn't answer the question -- why did you post and what were you looking for when you posted? Perhaps we have all misinterpreted what you wanted.

EDT: Sorry, posted this before I saw the ban (too bad, I thought this entire post was a SCREAM! )


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

MattMatt said:


> You will not be using the word troll anymore, because you are being banned. Permanently.


Thank you, Matt. BRAVO!!!!!!


----------

