# 5 Reasons People May Stay in Verbally Abusive Relationships



## DownByTheRiver

5 Reasons Someone Might Stay in a Verbally Abusive Relationship


Denial, rationalization, normalization, and more.




www.psychologytoday.com


----------



## frenchpaddy

I think much the same can be said for why people stay in physical abusive relationships


----------



## TexasMom1216

Abuse is so methodical and gradual at the outset, many women don't recognize that it's abuse. It's usually subtle, little digs here and there, also known as "negging," to make them feel lesser and lesser. Expecting them to be submissives, to deserve abuse, and reminding them that "you're old and have no more value as a woman, whereas I, the man, become MORE valuable with age, so toe the line or I'll cheat and/or leave, because you know I can do better than you because you're old and have put on weight." Honestly, if I were single, I wouldn't date at all. Many men today are horrible to women, they're bitter and angry and spiteful and yes, verbally and mentally abusive. There are entire articles, books, reddits and movements dedicated to using verbal abuse to control women. Don't want to be nice to them, after all. They might think they aren't scum if a man were nice to them. It's difficult, if not impossible, to find a man today who doesn't want an abusive relationship. If you don't believe me, read the articles the men on this forum constantly brag about, read the reddits for red pills that glorify rape, cheating, and physical and mental abuse, and listen to all those men say that women who don't tolerate abuse "don't want to act like a woman." Women today have very little to choose from any more, and honestly, they're better off alone.


----------



## Jimi007

@TexasMom1216 
I value your opinions, but you really sound triggered. NOT All men are like what you describe. I'm assuming you have suffered at the hand of some ahole or have some personal experience ?


----------



## TexasMom1216

I don’t care for the term “triggered,” 🤪 but after growing up with a fundamentalist Christian father who believed the same things these men today do, and who was physically and psychologically abusive, I do find the current trend toward the world my father wanted, that 1950s nightmare, angering but mostly frightening. I’m terrified of a world where violence and abuse of women is acceptable. Most of the world accepts violence against women as their due, only small pockets of the West don’t support it. When your entire gender spent most of history enslaved and you’ve been free for less than 100 years, it’s not out of bounds to be concerned that there will be a return to that, especially when it is so enthusiastically and publicly advocated. “Women don’t want to act like women” means women don’t want to be abused submissives. The way men on this forum talk about forcing their wives to be sex slaves and bragging about “I can tell she likes it” and “no woman has sex unless she wants to” after saying they read some sick article about how to mentally torture a woman with cruelty and the silent treatment to force her into submission, it’s upsetting to me, yes. I have good reason to be upset about it because I know what it really means.

I did modify my language a bit in my other post to not claim it’s “all men.” It’s fine on this forum to denigrate all women but it’s important to watch one’s language and allow for exceptions when speaking of men. It’s never “all” of any gender that does anything.


----------



## frenchpaddy

Dictum Veritas said:


> I don't pretend to know the full story, but unlike the cheer squad, I'm not for divorce unless there was adultery or someone is having the literal snot beat out of them. I'm not happy doesn't cut it for me and re-writing of marriage history happens to justify the "I'm not Happy". +/- 80% of divorces are filed by women and most of them with the "I'm not Happy" mantra, followed by a rundown of how much of a bastage their husbands were.
> 
> Well, a huge percentage of women after divorce and after involvement with new people find out they actually had the goose who laid the golden eggs and they chose to slaughter it.
> 
> I'm just a voice of caution. Empty nester emotions are really felt but only as persistent as a bad season. I hope you are not destroying your golden years for a flimsy feeling. Burned bridges don't allow for U-turns.
> 
> No-fault divorce has destroyed 48 percent of marriages that otherwise might have weathered a bad time and stood as a pillar of support for those in it in the end.
> 
> I won't say good on you mate, since this is like a death. Best I can do is my condolences and let's hope you have defense cause and you are not simply an impassioned murderer of the sanctity of a family.


this WAS a response to an abuse victim.
abuse and mantle abuse is when a man is putting himself in the higher place and making the woman feel lesser


----------

