# how to handle 5 year olds comments about his dad



## paramore (Jan 11, 2011)

Ok, well me and my husband are separated, he is still talking to EA, and isn't sure what he wants. I asked him to leave after he continued to speak with her after I found the incriminating texts. 

I have explained to my daughters in simple terms why I asked daddy to leave, I have explained to them in simple terms, (not detail) on why we were having so many problems a few months ago. I have explained why daddy isn't here as best as I can to a 5 year old. I have told him mommy and daddy made some mistakes, mommy and daddy are both at fault, so we need time to think.

Long story, but anyways....my son is talking about how angry he is with his dad, he was crying last night about him wanting daddy home. He keeps saying stuff like he's gonna separate from his daddy, stuff like that. 

We woke up early this morning, I saw him sitting by the bathroom door, I said what are you doing, he said waiting for daddy to come home, my heart broke.

I am not sure how to deal with that, I told his dad about this, not for the guilt factor, but he needs to know that his kids are hurting. The middle one is angry with him, and the eldest doesn't say much. 

I never ever thought I'd have to deal with something like this, I am at a loss, he is over at his sisters, and I have to pick up all the pieces. He comes and gets them, it's all fun and games over there, they aren't going to think about telling them what's in there heads.

How do I help my kids through this?


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## MardiGrasMambo (Mar 5, 2011)

Sorry to hear about your situation. Your youngest child is actually probably going to be ok in the intermediate-term because his view of the world is the most adaptable. That isn't to say that it won't hurt him short-term, just that he will adjust more readily because he didn't get as used to having your husband around as the older kids did. Your older kids will know better, and emotionally the loss they feel will more like the pain you feel. For your youngest's sake, try to keep husband involved and in contact so that they at least share a bond. The older children's reactions will be less predictable. It is going to be extremely important that they open up to someone about how they feel. If they won't talk to you, school counselors or therapists may also be able to help. Either way, I hope all goes well.


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

As best I understand, you keep them talking. Help them to get their feelings out, in a way they feel safe to do so. That would be good for the other children, as well. They need to talk about how they FEEL about all of this. That requires a LOT of listening, sometimes for subtle clues. 

Your son is angry and wanting his father to come home. Ask him how it makes him feel to not have daddy here right now. He's verbalizing anger, but he's likely feeling fear and possible guilt. It's amazing the things kids feel guilty for. 

I would absolutely talk to a counselor about this. Your children probably need therapy as well. I'm sorry you're going through this..it breaks my heart to see kids hurting like this. I know you're hurting as well. You can imagine that a lot of the emotions that you feel, they're feeling also. I hope things work out for you all!


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