# Friend possibly hiding posts from me



## crystalh12 (Apr 19, 2016)

This girl from church posted a picture on twitter of her and another girl from my small group hanging out, but whats weird is she doesnt usually post pictures on twitter usually she posts them on instagram or Facebook, and she didnt post this picture on instagram or Facebook. She knows I am a friend of her on facebook and instagram but I am not following her on Twitter so I dont think she knows I have a Twitter. Why would she post the picture on Twitter instead of Instagram or Facebook? Do you think she was trying to hide the post from me thinking I wouldnt see it because she thinks I dont have Twitter? This was after she told me she is really busy the next few weeks and wouldnt have time to hang out. Then I see this picture of her hanging out with this other person, so she has time to hang out with them but not me? And yesterday, I followed her on Twitter to find out she blocked me a few hours later. Today I looked at her account without logging in saw that she tweeted about yet another hangout with this friend last night. This was after I had messaged her yesterday afternoon asking when she could hang out next and she said late June. Then the next night I saw her post a picture of her hanging out with a different friend from small group.


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## cons (Aug 13, 2013)

Crystal-

You need to let go of this 'friend'...for some reason you are clinging to her tightly? What does her friendship do for you? From your other posts, she doesn't want the same level of friendship that you do....Move on!


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Stop being so clingy. You seem to have this ongoing issue with friends. It's because you are incredibly needy and clingy. You don't need to always be included. Friends can spin off several sub-groups. I have lots of friends who might get together with me a few times a year but get together with other common friends weekly or monthly. So what? Stop being all up their asses. Chill. Make some new friends. Be OK with not being included sometimes. Sometimes all personalities don't mesh well so different combinations of friends work better. You sound like a 13 year old left out of a birthday party invite.


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## crystalh12 (Apr 19, 2016)

EnjoliWoman said:


> Stop being so clingy. You seem to have this ongoing issue with friends. It's because you are incredibly needy and clingy. You don't need to always be included. Friends can spin off several sub-groups. I have lots of friends who might get together with me a few times a year but get together with other common friends weekly or monthly. So what? Stop being all up their asses. Chill. Make some new friends. Be OK with not being included sometimes. Sometimes all personalities don't mesh well so different combinations of friends work better. You sound like a 13 year old left out of a birthday party invite.


Its not just that its why does she feel the need to hide posts from me?


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Because she knows you'll hound the hell out of her like you do here. Yes she was trying to avoid saying "stop being a leech". She's trying to be nice because she doesn't like confrontation and doesn't want to be direct. Maybe she DOES like spending time with you OK but sometimes would like to just spend 1-on-1 time with a friend she is closer to/has more in common with.

Why are you stalking her posts? If you don't follow her you must have gone out of your way to find her twitter feed unless another common friend pointed it out. You seem suffocating.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Young lady, this person is not hiding anything from you. You do not factor into her decisions. Stop being a stalker. She is NOT your friend. Is there another church you can go to?


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## crystalh12 (Apr 19, 2016)

EnjoliWoman said:


> Because she knows you'll hound the hell out of her like you do here. Yes she was trying to avoid saying "stop being a leech". She's trying to be nice because she doesn't like confrontation and doesn't want to be direct. Maybe she DOES like spending time with you OK but sometimes would like to just spend 1-on-1 time with a friend she is closer to/has more in common with.
> 
> Why are you stalking her posts? If you don't follow her you must have gone out of your way to find her twitter feed unless another common friend pointed it out. You seem suffocating.


She had tagged the friend she was hanging out with and I am following that friend


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

much less drama in your life without....facebook,instagram,twitter,kik,etc.etc.etc

Just sayin.

maybe go pound the weights then have a beer and look for another girl. one who isn't on twitter etc.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

crystalh12 said:


> She had tagged the friend she was hanging out with and I am following that friend


So what?

This girl is not your friend, she doesn't want to be your friend and she has the right to be friends (or not) with whomever she chooses.

Stop chasing after her and find other friends with whom you have more in common.

You are far too needy and clingy. You're suffocating her and have pushed her away. Let her go.


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## FrazzledSadHusband (Jul 3, 2014)

EnjoliWoman said:


> Stop being so clingy. You seem to have this ongoing issue with friends. It's because you are incredibly needy and clingy. You don't need to always be included. Friends can spin off several sub-groups. I have lots of friends who might get together with me a few times a year but get together with other common friends weekly or monthly. So what? Stop being all up their asses. Chill. Make some new friends. Be OK with not being included sometimes. *Sometimes all personalities don't mesh well so different combinations of friends work better. * You sound like a 13 year old left out of a birthday party invite.


My youngest son has two different sets of friends. The two groups only have him in common. So he only has only one group or the other over at a time. Saves a lot of hassle.

As another person post OP, join a gym, find a church with a weekly volleyball game, etc to go to. Look at the positives in life, don't worry what other people are doing.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Crystalh12 here's my guess based on your history of posting on TAM. 

These church "friends" are avoiding you and hiding things from you because they are trying to avoid interacting with you. Your attention seems way over the top, you are clingy to the point of making them uncomfortable and they are in avoidance mode. You create drama with your constant badgering, you are driving them away, your hyper focus on every detail is too much for anyone to deal with.

You are to the point of sounding like an obsessive stalker, these "friends" aren't trying to hurt your feelings, they just want you to leave them alone.

You need to understand they are not "friends, they are acquaintances you know from church, stop stalking them and trying to force your inclusion in their activities.


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## Lostme (Nov 14, 2014)

Dang leave that poor girl alone and find a real friend. 

It seems she dropped more than one hint, she is not your friend.


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## ThreeStrikes (Aug 11, 2012)

Why are you posting these juvenile questions in a marriage forum?


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

She's just not that into you. 

And, get off of social media.


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

You know that film "Single White Female" comes to mind when I read this thread. 


Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


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## Fitnessfan (Nov 18, 2014)

I think you're a bit lonely and perhaps have too much time on your hands. You have to let friendships happen naturally. You can tell when someone wants to be your friend as in that case you really won't be always wondering why they haven't invited you or why they blocked you. You honestly can't force friendships. I would advise you to start joining some other groups of things you are really interested in and do it for your love of whatever it is as opposed to for making friends. Then, be open to any friendships that result from that but let it happen naturally. Good luck.


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## crystalh12 (Apr 19, 2016)

But she has said she is my friend before. And I wouldnt be clingy if people just included me and wanted to be my friend in the first place. So why dont they want to be my friend?


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## Pam (Oct 7, 2010)

This person is all over the internet, in many different type forums, asking the same type questions. And has been, for a long time.


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

crystalh12 said:


> But she has said she is my friend before. And *I wouldnt be clingy if people just included me and wanted to be my friend in the first place*. So why dont they want to be my friend?



Do you see how you're denying all responsibility for your own behavior? YOU and you alone are responsible for your actions. You can't control what others do. You can only control how YOU react. I totally understand it's hurtful when people don't want to spend time with you. But take a deep breath. Realize it possibly has NOTHING to do with you. They might just want to hang out with someone else. Realize you have worth. And the right person or people will appreciate that. Don't waste your time or energy obsessing. 

1. Exit social media. It is not your friend. It makes/helps you obsess. This will lose you friends.

2. Go try a new hobby. Meet people you have something in common with. Hang out with them. Have you heard the expression, "there's a lid for every pot?" 

3. When you make friends with them, take it slow. Nobody's counting, but if you are constantly contacting them and they never contact you, take a hint and take a step back. When you contact someone too much it can feel smothering. That's an uncomfortable feeling. And that's when they reevaluate whether they want to hang out with you or not.


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## crystalh12 (Apr 19, 2016)

joannacroc said:


> Do you see how you're denying all responsibility for your own behavior? YOU and you alone are responsible for your actions. You can't control what others do. You can only control how YOU react. I totally understand it's hurtful when people don't want to spend time with you. But take a deep breath. Realize it possibly has NOTHING to do with you. They might just want to hang out with someone else. Realize you have worth. And the right person or people will appreciate that. Don't waste your time or energy obsessing.
> 
> 1. Exit social media. It is not your friend. It makes/helps you obsess. This will lose you friends.
> 
> ...


Ok but there has to be a reason they didnt want to spend time with me in the first place other than being clingy because I wasnt clingy until they excluded me. And social media only helps me obsess on people excluding me meaning they are already not my friends.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

OP you may think you're not clingy in person, but you must be or they wouldn't be excluding you. Do you badger people constantly with questions? Get all up in their space? Follow them around? I'm NOT saying you do these things, I'm asking you...and you don't have to answer here...just think about it.

You're putting way too much energy into this, just find some new friends. Jeez.


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## crystalh12 (Apr 19, 2016)

frusdil said:


> OP you may think you're not clingy in person, but you must be or they wouldn't be excluding you. Do you badger people constantly with questions? Get all up in their space? Follow them around? I'm NOT saying you do these things, I'm asking you...and you don't have to answer here...just think about it.
> 
> You're putting way too much energy into this, just find some new friends. Jeez.


No, I just talk to them like anyone else would


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

If you're obsessing about people who are not your friends, you have a whole world to obsess about. Try obsessing about learning new social skills, a dance, music or anything to make you interesting enough to want to hang out with. Once you stop trying to tag along with people, people will seek you out if they think you would be interesting enough to include.

In any event, stop stalking these people. That's creepy.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Why is this 'person' even allowed to keep posting on TAM? She/he/it contributes nothing, and basically just posts the same drivel over and over. She/he/it needs professional help, not advice from a bunch of married folks dealing with their own problems.


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