# im 16 and married



## sprayray

im married to a very wonderful guy, hes 21, just turned 21 and i will be 17 in a couple months, anyway age means nothing, we are both christians, I love him very much. ok we are having marriage problems, he says he doesnt love me anymore and that we shouldnt be together. in august we will be married a year, he left the house today after telling me that and went with his mom to talk about everything, so after 2 hours passed he finally came back and said that we were getting a divorce. then after i was crying and freaking out he said that he would make me a deal and said that he was going to leave for a few days and that im not allowed to leave the house until he gets back, he said he needs time to figure everything out. im lost and i dont know what to do i have been praying to God about this and hoping that its his will for us to be together, if not its going to hurt, but for now i need to focus that there is still hope for us and our marriage. can i please get some good advice, i want to do everything i can to make this marriage work.


thanks, 

spray ray


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## DelinquentGurl

I can promise you this, sitting in the house and not leaving isn't going to help. It sounds very controlling and manipulating.

Why did you get married so young? Didn't your parents have to sign a consent?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mrs.G

Getting married before 25 is generally a bad idea. You have not had any time to form your own identity. Not sure what kind of parents would allow their minor child to get married.
Going to his mother's house to decide if you should divorce, is a sign of immaturity. Parents don't need to be involved in a newlywed couple's problems.
A grown man should not be dating a high school senior. This situation is bizarre and sad.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MEM2020

Sprayray,
Did he tell you why he doesn't love you anymore?

Why does he want you to "not leave the house"?




sprayray said:


> im married to a very wonderful guy, hes 21, just turned 21 and i will be 17 in a couple months, anyway age means nothing, we are both christians, I love him very much. ok we are having marriage problems, he says he doesnt love me anymore and that we shouldnt be together. in august we will be married a year, he left the house today after telling me that and went with his mom to talk about everything, so after 2 hours passed he finally came back and said that we were getting a divorce. then after i was crying and freaking out he said that he would make me a deal and said that he was going to leave for a few days and that im not allowed to leave the house until he gets back, he said he needs time to figure everything out. im lost and i dont know what to do i have been praying to God about this and hoping that its his will for us to be together, if not its going to hurt, but for now i need to focus that there is still hope for us and our marriage. can i please get some good advice, i want to do everything i can to make this marriage work.
> 
> 
> thanks,
> 
> spray ray


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

DelinquentGurl said:


> Why did you get married so young? Didn't your parents have to sign a consent?


here in tennessee its called statutory rape, unless of course you are cousins.

you should see if you could possibly get an annulment, 16 is entirely too young to get married. i think he just needs to be sent back home to mommy.


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## Runs like Dog

Don't knock cousins. My grandparents on my fathers' side came from a family where all the brothers married the sisters of another family. So technically, all my 1st and 2nd cousins are the same people. And a few of them are married to each other.


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## cb45

2nd_t!me iz_best said:


> here in tennessee its called statutory rape, unless of course you are cousins.
> 
> cb=:lol:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Runs like Dog said:
> 
> 
> 
> Don't knock cousins. My grandparents on my fathers' side came from a family where all the brothers married the sisters of another family. So technically, all my 1st and 2nd cousins are the same people. And a few of them are married to each other.
> 
> 
> 
> cb=:rofl:
> 
> yep.....OP's name says it all too, no? spray...ray.
> 
> this one is def farce. to dumb to be true. jerry Springer material, sheeeeesssh.
Click to expand...


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## FaithHopeLove

sprayray said:


> im married to a very wonderful guy, hes 21, just turned 21 and i will be 17 in a couple months, anyway age means nothing, we are both christians.


1.Being a Christian does not mean that you'll have a happy life and a wonderful marriage off the bat. 

2. And I'm surprised you could still consider this guy as "wonderful" after he has been treating you. How he's handled the situation so far, based on the details you've given us, shows that he is very immature and doesn't know how to be a husband.

3. Age *DOES* matter. I was the type of girl who thought she'd be totally ready to be married at 18-- or at least right after college--- and I am so thankful I waited until I was 26 to be getting married (I'll be married this July). You have a lot of growing up to do right now and because of allowing yourself to be put into this situation, you are expected to know how to behave as a married person when your brain isn't even functioning like a grown adult (based on scientific research).



> I love him very much. ok we are having marriage problems, he says he doesnt love me anymore and that we shouldnt be together. in august we will be married a year, he left the house today after telling me that and went with his mom to talk about everything, so after 2 hours passed he finally came back and said that we were getting a divorce.


If you two are Christians, then you both should know what the Scriptures teach about marriage and divorce. You two would also realize what the Bible teaches about two people becoming one in marriage. It's a Sacrament you give one another-- a covenant that can not be broken in the eyes of God.

It's a shame he thought it would be more appropriate to figure this out with this mother than deciding it with you. I pray that you two will be able to hopefully talk about this and decide TOGETHER if it is the right decision for both of you. I would say, based on your ages, that it might actually be--- but that is honestly between you two and God.

The rest of your post really shows that you two are NOT ready to be married. I suggest that you both need to seek out a Christian marriage counselor and FAST. I also believe that there is hope for any marriage to reconcile, but you both will need to put a lot of trust in God and do a lot of hard work of building up your marriage.

During the past year that my fiance and I have been engaged, we've read through many Christian marriage books and I have to say that this is the very best that we've seen so far: Amazon.com: The Power of Prayer(TM) to Change Your Marriage (9780736925150): Stormie Omartian: Books Perhaps you and your husband would be willing to sit down for one hour a week for a few weeks, read this book together, and pray over one another. It's a miracle what prayer can do!

God bless you both!


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## zaliblue

Ok...ok....he won't LET you leave the house???? uhmmm....excuse me? and you're listening? I know you're 16 honey, but good gravy...have some dignity...apparently he does not want the marriage. It sounds to me like he is regretting getting married and is just out messing around for a few days and doesn't want u to do the same. I am not going to say that young love doesn't always last because my hubby and i have been together since i was 15 and he was 19...we are now 22 and 26 and have been married for 3 years and have 2 beautiful sons together. We honestly could not be happier....but then again, he has NEVER treated me like that. And if he ever did, I wouldn't want him anyway....have some dignity and realize that u have ur whole life ahead of u and u dont need some guy treating u like crap when there is someone out there that can give u the love u deserve! im not trying to be mean, but i just hate to see u waste ur life on a guy that doesnt care for u....


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## cb45

ahem...excuse me but i think this 16yr chick has flown the coup. folks. stop waisting 
yer arthritis on this.

funny how some post here n ditch, and people dont p/u on 
that/it.

says alot bout them and their "problem" usually. poor souls.


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## diamondmate

I guess you can only married someone at the age of 18, how can a 16 yr old marry someone? Also, dont let your self be affected to what he said. If he wants to leave you, you cant do anything with that anymore if his decision is final. Go back to your family and share your problem with your parents, they surely can give you a piece of advice on what to do.

____________

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## rorinrory

uhh this is a very old post, doubt the writer is still even on here...


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## samantha heart

my babe yu so yung nd can get sm1 else.u guuys got any ids?nd waty yu dng fo yoself....wel i got maried whn i was 18 to a guy who z 16years olda than me.nd he has kids w dif women[7kids]ts dificult i tel u..but f u luv e guy yu stik arnd hey


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## COguy

If you responded to this, please have your head examined. There isn't a state in this country where you can legally marry a 21 year old as a 16 year old. It's called statutory rape, why would a judge or parent sign off on that?


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