# Exposing years later....Good idea/Bad idea?



## JustMe321 (May 9, 2012)

Short short version. Found out 16 months ago my WH had affairs years ago (10 years and 4 years ago). At the time I did a ton of research and found out all about his APs. Both were married when the affairs took place, but had since divorced. I did consider contacting their work, family, ex'es, etc. but then figured that it wouldn't do any good considering the affairs were not current and indeed happened so long ago. And since there was no current FOG to try and break anyone out of, I wasn't sure of the point.

After doing so much reading on these boards, I'm wondering now if I should have done something...or there is something I should do now. Or if exposing now would simply be a form of revenge. There is also the concern of re-opening doors that are long closed. The last thing I want are these women or their families back in our life.

To all the wise one here - any thoughts?

JM321


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

I would let it go.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

Can you anonymously send the proof to them?


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## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

JustMe321 said:


> Short short version. Found out 16 months ago my WH had affairs years ago (10 years and 4 years ago). At the time I did a ton of research and found out all about his APs. Both were married when the affairs took place, but had since divorced. I did consider contacting their work, family, ex'es, etc. but then figured that it wouldn't do any good considering the affairs were not current and indeed happened so long ago. And since there was no current FOG to try and break anyone out of, I wasn't sure of the point.
> 
> After doing so much reading on these boards, I'm wondering now if I should have done something...or there is something I should do now. Or if exposing now would simply be a form of revenge. There is also the concern of re-opening doors that are long closed. The last thing I want are these women or their families back in our life.
> 
> ...


Exposure is a tool to break the affair or give the cheating spouse a dose of reality in hopes of stopping the affair.

After all this time I doubt that there could be any good outcome and like you said it would be YOU who would renew contact with OW/OWs and bring them back into your life. Why would you want to do that - revenge? Understandable if that is the reason but this could backfire on you - big time.

Drop it.


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## Count of Monte Cristo (Mar 21, 2012)

I agree with the other posters. Alas, the statute of limitation has run out (figuratively speaking of course.)


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## JustMe321 (May 9, 2012)

_Posted via Mobile Device_

Thanks for the responses. I agree and figured it was best to just move forward. I think with all the discussions of how important exposure is I wanted to confirm my thoughts..

JM321


Edited for the ghost in my autocorrect


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

TDSC60 said:


> Exposure is a tool to break the affair or give the cheating spouse a dose of reality in hopes of stopping the affair. ...
> 
> Drop it.


:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

Yes! QFT (quoted for truth)
Exposure is a tool used to break an active affair and give the disloyal spouse a 2x4 of reality upside the head. Since the affair isn't active now, and since your disloyal has already returned to the marriage years ago, I see no point in exposure now. If you need to "tell somebody" I would suggest a pastor/minister or maybe a mentor just to get some wise council on how you can deal with it personally.


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## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)

If they were still married I would've agreed but since they're not, it would seem pointless now. 

Though I'd keep an eye on your Husband if I were you......


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