# I lied to my wife, now she won't...



## Panic7v (Aug 4, 2009)

Hi there,

I have a similar problem. I DID lie to my wife some time back, not for cheating (although when we met, we were both still married to other partners), but for financial reasons. I have no real excuses for doing it as I SHOULD have had more backbone and realised my own self worth. I thought (wrongly or rightly) that my wife judged me on what I earned, and lied about it. It seemed that if I netted £1k or £6k in a month, it was never enough, and my main motivation when getting a job was what they could give me, not whether the job was suitable for me or I could do it, motivated by the fact that I needed to be in a certain position for my wife, and it hasn't worked.

However, since then, I've started to rectify that, yet it doesn't matter what I do, it comes back, and everytime something goes wrong, I am to blame because of the past.

In some cases, I cannot get irrefutable proof, but am telling the truth, and have made some serious personal sacrifices to gain my wife's trust back, yet it just doesn't matter. I love my wife and don't want to lose her, but how much more does one have to take before it starts to get better?

This is so bad it is having an emotional AND physical effect on us both and our kids, and also having a major effect on my professional life too, therefore causing us some serious financial issues, which in turn, give her reason to think I'm lying, and so the wheel keeps turning.


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## 1nurse (Jan 21, 2009)

Sounds like you have low self esteem. Go see a good therapist if you can get a referral through your doctor. Work on your own personal insecurities and you'll see how much it also will help you with your marriage. Good Luck


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

i dont think its just about the lying with the financial stuff. if you two met when you were still married, well, that's a huge barrier to trusting each other. probably most of the arguments you two get in over the financial lying has more to do with the lying prior to that.


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