# Anyonymous tip to friend



## Delrey (Mar 4, 2018)

Hi all. I am new here but didn’t know where to go. A few months ago I saw my friends bf/baby daddy with another woman at a bar. They were romantically involved. Holding hands, kissing. To make it a small world, I once knew this girl (hs)! She is married but I never really knew her just a HS person. 

I really struggled with telling her. The messenger is always killed. Plus if they decide to work on their relationship that puts me on the outs. 

Also in a bias of my own, when I was 15 my mom and I saw my aunt (by marriage) cheating on my uncle. We told him. My cousin who was 16 at the time never forgave my mom. 

So I decided to create an anonymous email and have her all the details I knew. She didn’t believe was more concerned with me revealingly my identity, she wanted more facts I gave her more facts. 

She then wrote back to me and told me that she asked both her bf and OW and they both denied. So why was I coming up with such an evil scheme. What did I want. And “to find my own man”

I told her I stood to gain nothing. Went anonymous bc it’s never easy. He BF is saying that this is harrassment and will be calling authorities (huge eyeroll)

I then sent her links to here and TAM. I also told her to check his phone records. She wrote back saying it’s okay we are into threesomes”. 

I can’t help feel like an idiot. I am glad I didn’t do it in person. But I feel horrible. I had a feeling she would react like this. 

Btw, she was pregnant with a baby she loss while he was having an affair. 

Will she ever com to? I can’t believe she believes his story of harassment. She called me a stalker. 

Any advice? You think she will ever heed my advice.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Really depends on her damage. Some folks would just rather have someone ****ty then no one at all. Unfortunately that's life. You still did the morale and right thing here. We all have a moral societal responsibility to protect the innocent. Just be her friend but I would be careful as he will probably take precedence over you no matter how awful he is. 

Maybe he will get hit by a car. That's a joke. Kinda.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

Leave them alone. Delete the email account.
Don't ever say anything to her again. Let it gooooo🤣.

Some people.never want to know. Life is blissful in ignorance. 

Plus they.are into threesomes. You.dont want to get involved here....to messy.


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## Delrey (Mar 4, 2018)

Lol! They are not into “threesomes” trust me. She watches him like a hawk. That was just sarcasm. As a way to let me know that she was taking any of my info seriously. 

However, I deactivated the account and never will say anything again.


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## SarcasticRed (Feb 21, 2018)

An anonymous email from someone saying my husband appeared to be cheating? From someone who was close enough to know my email but not enough to just tell me? You do kinda sound like a stalker. If anything, it will become a joke for them "Hey remember when that random person emailed me to say you were cheating? That was so crazy!". 

The Interwebs are for being anonymous. Outing a cheating husband to a friend is not the time to be anonymous.


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## Cromer (Nov 25, 2016)

I did a reveal recently, through fb, and didn't give a f' about my identity being known. Glad I did, the response was surprising because I had expected something like what you got. You did it, time to drop it. Conscience clear. Pic as an attachment would've been helpful. Some people just don't want to believe anything bad about their SO because they are afraid of losing what they have otherwise.


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## Delrey (Mar 4, 2018)

Did she reply defensively? I just always feel like they will forgive the spouse and not you. If they stay together you loose a friend. I saw it happen in my own family, for Christ sakes. I will still remember when my cousin told me years after the fact “honestly, that was none of you or your moms bussiness. “ this was said at my bridal shower. 

I am dropping it. But it’s a shame if she does see as a big joke. 

Maybe in time, when the dust settles she will look into all the information I gave her. 

What are your thoughts on that?


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## FalCod (Dec 6, 2017)

I think you made a mistake. I would have expected a true friend to be open with me and willing to take the risk of how I would respond. But, what's done is done. If you talk to her now, it'll be obvious it was you and that'll make it all seem strange and unbelievable. I'm not sure what I'd do now in your shoes.


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## happy2gether (Dec 6, 2015)

you care enough to tell her, but not enough to let her know it was you. If someone did that to me I wouldn't believe them either unless they had real proof. otherwise they come off as a petty person just trying to start crap. I know a couple that had something similar happen where someone was anon texting the wife saying the husband was cheating. Thing was when it happened they were not even in the state, and the anon source kept insisting it was him and she saw it all the night before. turned out to be a stalkerish ex of his that just wanted to break them up to swoop in and save him. So yeah, your method was wrong.

If you really are concerned, then have lunch with her and just flat out tell her what was seen and you wanted her to know. Admit it was you that sent the anon emails. Accept it when she tells you to back off and is no longer your friend. When she finally catches him for real, do NOT go telling her "I told you so". if she wants to admit she should have listened then accept it, if she wants nothing to do with you then accept that as well. Or just stay quiet and decide whether your friendship or her knowing the truth as you see it is more important.


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