# Infidelity Research



## dairymother (Jun 15, 2017)

Hello,

I'm currently doing research for my doctorate thesis, which is looking into experiences of infidelity. In particular, I am looking to interview individuals who have been unfaithful to understand what it means to them and how they make sense of it. The research aims to enhance understandings of infidelity, which could help to inform couples' therapy and the field of Counselling Psychology. The research has been granted ethical approval from City, University of London Ethics Board. 

I am based in London in the UK, and you would be asked to participate in a one-to-one interview to share your experience. The interview will be a non-judgemental, confidential space and will take place in a mutually convenient location. Your participation would involve one interview, which is approximately 1-1.5 hours. All interviews will remain confidential; pseudonyms and identifying information will be removed from the transcripts. 

If anybody would be willing to take part, I would be grateful if you could reply to this post, or private message me. I will then send you an information sheet with further details on the study. 

The criteria for participants is:
- Be based in the UK
- Over 25 years old
- Have engaged in a romantic relationship/affair for at least one month, which was outside of your agreed mutually exclusive relationship
- Were cohabiting with your primary partner
- At least one of these relationships has been over for at least 6 months. 

Thank you,
Katy


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

Most on TAM in the CWI section are BS and not WS. This place is pretty hostile to the few WS that venture here

I've heard some other forums are more accepting of WS - perhaps someone on TAM could direct you

I'm pretty sure most on CWI would love to understand the mentality of a WS that would cause them to destroy others and relationships with their actions 


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

I'll direct you to my wife.
You could write a complete dissertation on her alone.


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## KrisAmiss (May 1, 2017)

cathartic 
noun ca·thar·tic \kə-ˈthär-tik\
Definition of cathartic

: a medicine that causes the bowels to be purged (see 1purge 2a) : purgative

I have said my WS is full of sh*t, so I can see where this would be cathartic for him. Good luck with getting the "facts" from people who aren't honest.


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## dairymother (Jun 15, 2017)

Thanks, I'll have a look at other forums too to see if anyone would be willing to take part! It will definitely be useful to understand infidelity more, it's perplexing.


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## dairymother (Jun 15, 2017)

That's why the research is important, as it is so common yet poorly understood. Sorry you've been on the receiving end.


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

I do fit your criteria but I'm not too keen about opening up my life to a complete stranger. Not sure all cheaters can be lumped together. Everyone has their "reasons" but they are all different. When I look at my personality I can easily pick out why I did the things I did. For starters I simply do not view fidelity the way most people do. A huge part of that is my upbringing. I don't think cheating is right, but I don't see being cheated on as the worst thing that can happen to a person. The other flaw I have is I am never satisfied with anything. Which makes for a successful person in many areas, but....makes me crappy relationship material.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I have verified dairymother is indeed a student at the university and that she is doing this research. Just wanted to let you all know this.

I hope that dairymother's research goes well.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Seeing how it is politically incorrect to write why individuals cheat, you will have a up hill battle on you hands.

You might look into this. Instant gratification of today's society and the lack of morals and no character as causes. 

Good luck and pray you never have firsthand knowledge about this subject.


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

Go to any public Elementary School in the US. You'll find and endless supply of Cheaters (Teachers). Google it.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

I am a former wayward wife. I'd be happy to help your research. AMA.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

ABHale said:


> Seeing how it is politically incorrect to write why individuals cheat, you will have a up hill battle on you hands.
> 
> You might look into this. Instant gratification of today's society and the lack of morals and no character as causes.
> 
> Good luck and pray you never have firsthand knowledge about this subject.


The OP is looking for people to participate in her research. I don't think that she is asking for anyone to just post stuff here on this thread.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

StillSearching said:


> I'll direct you to my wife.
> You could write a complete dissertation on her alone.


*You could attain at least four full doctorates alone just by writing about the sordid behavior and exploits of my RSXW!

Now that will roundly educate you!*


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> The OP is looking for people to participate in her research. I don't think that she is asking for anyone to just post stuff here on this thread.


I know, I think she picked a really hard and diverse subject to do her thesis on. The reason for cheating is going to change for each individual. I wish her luck.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

ABHale said:


> I know, I think she picked a really hard and diverse subject to do her thesis on. The reason for cheating is going to change for each individual. I wish her luck.


But maybe she can find a range of reasons and how many people report each one. That's helpful


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## dairymother (Jun 15, 2017)

MJJEAN said:


> I am a former wayward wife. I'd be happy to help your research. AMA.


Thank you MJJean! Are you based in London?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

dairymother said:


> Thank you MJJean! Are you based in London?


 @dairymother, good luck with your research. 

My thesis was on the harmful impact of long term unemployment on people's health, so yours should keep you very busy! 

MLLean's profile (It's under the TAM member's name, on the left side of the screen) says she is in MI, which is in the USA.

In fact, most people on TAM are based in America, though there are some in Canada, Australia, Germany and other EU countries, New Zealand and the UK. Which is where I am.

If your research model calls for face-to-face interviews then this might present a difficulty, as very few of your potential subjects are within easy reach of London.


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## dairymother (Jun 15, 2017)

MattMatt said:


> @dairymother, good luck with your research.
> 
> My thesis was on the harmful impact of long term unemployment on people's health, so yours should keep you very busy!
> 
> ...


With the interviews to analyse I think it will keep me very busy indeed 

Thank you for clarifying that! I thought it may be the case, but hopefully some potential participants will be in London.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Yes, I'm in the US. I was thinking the interview would be more of an online question and answer page/ website. I've participated in similar research before and that was how it was done. To prevent any kind of tampering and to keep the jerks and yahoo's out the site was made invite only.

Setting up a website would net more respondents, but might mean less detailed answers.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

dairymother said:


> With the interviews to analyse I think it will keep me very busy indeed
> 
> Thank you for clarifying that! I thought it may be the case, but hopefully some potential participants will be in London.


Since we now have skype and other meeting software, could you conduct your interviews that way?

I manage software projects with my team of developers being all over the word. We have weekly meetings via skype. It works very well.


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

EleGirl said:


> Since we now have skype and other meeting software, could you conduct your interviews that way?
> 
> I manage software projects with my team of developers being all over the word. We have weekly meetings via skype. It works very well.




Exactly we do as well. Skype, Webex, FaceTime, ... many choices.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Unless the research protocols call for face-to-face interviews?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

MattMatt said:


> Unless the research protocols call for face-to-face interviews?


She may be able to negotiate that with her advisor. In today's world, skype could very well be considered face-to-face.


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## dairymother (Jun 15, 2017)

EleGirl said:


> She may be able to negotiate that with her advisor. In today's world, skype could very well be considered face-to-face.



I could potentially do skype interviews, but will need to do an amendment ethics form. As MattMatt says, the research protocol is for face-to-face interviews only at the moment.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

If you need subjects who you can interview face-to-face, you might need to advertise locally. There is a craigslist is London. Have you thought of advertising on there?


I was thinking about you having some study subjects from the USA and other countries. I wonder if their rational would be very different in each country, or if all cheaters everywhere use about the same self rationalization.


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## dairymother (Jun 15, 2017)

EleGirl said:


> If you need subjects who you can interview face-to-face, you might need to advertise locally. There is a craigslist is London. Have you thought of advertising on there?
> 
> 
> I was thinking about you having some study subjects from the USA and other countries. I wonder if their rational would be very different in each country, or if all cheaters everywhere use about the same self rationalization.


Thanks Ele, that's a really great idea.I'll give craigslist a try. I've placed my advertisements in cafes, bars, hairdressers etc so I'm now trying to reach participants through the internet too. 

That's a good point about individuals from different countries, and whether there are subtle cultural influences on infidelity or not. It would be interesting to look at! I know a lot of the research into infidelity so far has been conducted mainly in the US, so my findings may show different results.


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