# I am the unknowingly one he cheated with and now have his baby



## Ainslee (Nov 17, 2012)

I myself have been cheated on in the past and know of the pain it causes and there for have built a pretty good wall around me and do not allow anyone in. Forward along the track I met my baby's father who was just so different to the rest (arent they always) and really was someone like ive never met before, intelligent, witty, funny, apparently good moralled, new of my history and said he would never do anything like that to me. Anyway after a short period of time and yes we were sleeping together I became pregnant, no we hadnt planned it, i told him and he took off and sent me a text message wishing me luck with the baby and he was not in a position for one and he was really really sorry. Not to be heard from again for a few months, then we were in touch again (i kept the baby) and he had a keen interest in knowing of the pregnancy and baby's well being until it came time to talk about the birth certificate etc and his family knowing about the baby. The due date for bubs had came and gone and I received information from a good friend whom had been told from a good source that my baby's father actually owned and lived with a girl he had been dating for over 4 years in which their families were waiting for them to have children etc, this devastated me and i let him know of this. Since then i have had the baby in which he has pictures and now ive had to go through child support etc he has become nasty. Im not sure if his partner knows however i know his parents do because i told them. Anyway so yeah i am working hard and making a life for me and my baby. I dont want him anywhere near me however being my babys father i would never stop him from being a part of her life. Now i have felt the brunt of both sides, being cheated on and being the who was the "other" woman (even though i had no idea i was)... No more men for me ever....


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

Why you blame men (not that man) for your indiscretions?


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## Ainslee (Nov 17, 2012)

how are they my indiscretions if they cheated on me, and then now my baby's father cheated on his partner with me however I never knew he was a taken man until it was much too late. Im not saying all men are bad, not at all it will just be hard for me to trust one again.


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## jmb123 (Nov 9, 2012)

I am sorry for you.I know you are in a tough situation.Even my EX,though we were in college only that time,came and told me that he ahd no girll friend,rather some girl was after him;in fact he had been practically engaged with her in highschool;she had cried alot;good for her though she did not end with that dirty human being and I was the one who became the VICTIM(now no more);;;After all these years ,I sent her an email saying that we were teenagers then but still i did not know what as the reality;;she was rude to me in replybut I had my conscience clear;;;

better speak to that woman and let her know the trueth ,do not be frightened,you shall save her laugh from a cheating ******.

Also,I really feel that you should never ever speak or even let your baby meet that man;;;He is just the bilogical father and such a creep, a cheat;;;do you want your baby to grow up like him;;;;

And even he is remorseful and thinks of starting a life with you,i think you should first see through him in and out;;;

Better strat a new life without him being a part fo ti at all;;;;;

As for men,not all cheat like all women do not cheat;;;

Wishing you all the best in your life;;;;be strong;get a job and have fun;;;and I am sure with a healthy mind you will let a healthy person to enter your life again ;;;;;
Also, speaking to that woman will let you come out of your guilt if any;I do not think you should ahve any guilt actually....


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## Madman1 (Oct 24, 2012)

Are you just venting?

Do you mind telling us your age and the baby's fathers age?

How did you two meet?


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## ubercoolpanda (Sep 11, 2012)

You need to tell his gf that he cheated.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ainslee (Nov 17, 2012)

No im not venting ive had plenty of time for that and have moved on. We are both 30 and met out on the town. Ive no guilty feelings as ive done nothing wrong. Trust me I would love to tell her but not sure how to get a hold of her. I have moved on, I have moved states, I am back at work and also studying so as to make a good future for my little one. I am sure I will meet someone genuine and decent in the future when i am ready to let someone into my life again but for now my main priority is to give this baby a good life.


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## jmb123 (Nov 9, 2012)

Yes,I also feel that the gf should be told hat has happened.Because that man cheating her to this extent is too much;
Facebook,email id,mutual friend,email id...something...just let her know.....then its up to her she wants him or leaves him;;;;;;

and good for you that you have moved to a diffferent state,and oursuing your studies and a job;;;;;take care of yourself and the baby;


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## jmb123 (Nov 9, 2012)

and noway do you become the OW if you did not know he had someone else in his life;;;I am glad you are not with that person anymore;;;;they shoud rot in hell;;;;;;;


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Good for you by filing child support. I had an unplanned pregnancy, married the fool and divorced his abusive cheating arse. I regret only asking $200 a month in child support not knowing or realizing how much it actually costs to raise a child. I wish I would of asked for a fair amount. Instead I screwed myself. I fully regret marrying him.:/

If the baby's father wants to be in his life, you can not stop it. It's against the law. He does have has rights to see the baby. Well, as long as he makes a full commitment and not abandoned the baby in the future. 

My child's biological father abandoned his child later in life. It was heartbreaking since she's not allowed to see her siblings. My daughter is grown and now in intense therapy for all of this. 

Your baby's father is ticked because he has to expose the affair. I would make sure you get what's fair. Being a single parent is hard enough with little to no financial support.

My husband stepped in and became my daughters father. He raised her well and has shown her how a real man treats others, especially his family. There are very decent men out there that value the family life. 

Good luck.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Just tell is gf and her family... And don't get together with this a$$hole. 

Just a question: Why did you decide to keep the kid of the guy you barely knew ?

Why weren't you on birth control if you are on of the pro life people ?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

AngryandUsed said:


> Why you blame men (not that man) for your indiscretions?


I think you failed to read her post properly. She was cheated on, then met someone who 'forgot' to tell her he was with another woman.

She was cheated on just as badly as the OMs GF was.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Ainslee said:


> No im not venting ive had plenty of time for that and have moved on. We are both 30 and met out on the town. Ive no guilty feelings as ive done nothing wrong. Trust me I would love to tell her but not sure how to get a hold of her. I have moved on, I have moved states, I am back at work and also studying so as to make a good future for my little one. I am sure I will meet someone genuine and decent in the future when i am ready to let someone into my life again but for now my main priority is to give this baby a good life.


You need to tell the GF because if she is trying to get pregnant by him she may very well decide not to and to leave the relationship because he is a cheater. A cheater with a kid already.

She needs to have all the fact so she can choose what she wants to do.

Other wise, let's say she has a kid or two with him. then it comes out that he is cheater, and has another child. She and her children are going to be destroyed when they find out what scum bag he is.

So help her by giving her the knowledge she needs to choose. She may stay or go, but atleast she has the truth.

Tell her the truth.

and if they live together you can certain track him down and find her.


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

MattMatt said:


> I think you failed to read her post properly. She was cheated on, then met someone who 'forgot' to tell her he was with another woman.
> 
> She was cheated on just as badly as the OMs GF was.


I know she was cheated on. She was blaming men in general. Look at the last para of her first post.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

Sorry friend you were lied. Yoy can alwyas be lied. Learn from it for the future, check out the potential partners. And please, no more unprotected sex.
Glad to hear you asked CS.
Limit your contact with this douche, do it always in writing (email?). Document, save the contact.

You are not the OW. You were lied to, cheated. The fact you were not his main relationship is not relevant.


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## Ainslee (Nov 17, 2012)

Thankyo everyone for your comments I appreciate them, thats correct I was not on Birth control however we were generally always safe however we had been out to a function, a few too many bevvos and got caught up in the moment at home as you do and now here we are. His mother when i told her was very good about it after the shock settled and was upset at him and said she would get back to me, a couple of days later his father said that they will not be having anything to do with "that" kid and that he could not believe what i had done to his son and that his GF is not to find out (there for his parents hiding it from her too), anyway i was at a loss as to "what had i done to his son" and then it came out recently with my lawyer that he freaked out when I told his parents and told them that he thinks he must have been drugged that night when we were out and someone must have put something in his drink or food... (1) what a load of BS to get out of your responsibilities (2) theres no proof and this is the first time its been mentioned (looks suss that all was good til his folks found out) so yeah thats that, as said I have moved on and my baby has a good life, my family and friends are very very supportive and we have shown we dont need him. I wont ever hate him because of my baby but i dont have to like him for this behaviour either however as previously stated will not ever stop him from knowing her.


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## SadandAngry (Aug 24, 2012)

Ainslee said:


> Thankyo everyone for your comments I appreciate them, thats correct I was not on Birth control however we were generally always safe however we had been out to a function, a few too many bevvos and got caught up in the moment at home as you do and now here we are. His mother when i told her was very good about it after the shock settled and was upset at him and said she would get back to me, a couple of days later his father said that they will not be having anything to do with "that" kid and that he could not believe what i had done to his son and that his GF is not to find out (there for his parents hiding it from her too), anyway i was at a loss as to "what had i done to his son" and then it came out recently with my lawyer that he freaked out when I told his parents and told them that he thinks he must have been drugged that night when we were out and someone must have put something in his drink or food... (1) what a load of BS to get out of your responsibilities (2) theres no proof and this is the first time its been mentioned (looks suss that all was good til his folks found out) so yeah thats that, as said I have moved on and my baby has a good life, my family and friends are very very supportive and we have shown we dont need him. I wont ever hate him because of my baby but i dont have to like him for this behaviour either however as previously stated will not ever stop him from knowing her.


Wow, what a winner he is. Sounds like a chip off the old block perhaps. You may have some success if you reach out to the mother. What was the function? Surely there were people there who can back up your version of things.


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

Ainslee
Begin each morning with a brief prayer of thanks that this delusional liar and his family are not a part of your daily life.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

And his parents are total enablers. They will regret that day, along with his GF, and obviously him.

Thanks God the are not around you and your angel.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

The stupidity of not using protection far exceeds that of the cheating.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Nice, so the grandparents turned their back on the grandchild?

I think you'll find out that he convinced them that it isn't his kid, that either you are nutz or you slept with some other guys and are trying to ping it on him for $$$


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## Madman1 (Oct 24, 2012)

Ainslee,
Thanks for the extra info, I just did not get that you were asking a question, venting is ok too,but Im glad you are moving on.

I wish you well.


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## SadandAngry (Aug 24, 2012)

keko said:


> The stupidity of not using protection far exceeds that of the cheating.


There's your indiscretion right there. Unprotected sex with someone you hardly know. I'm not one to cast stones either, I knocked up my wife within weeks of meeting her.


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

Tell his GF. She has a right to know. She needs to know before SHE gets pregnant to this ********* and he can't afford child support. 

I am so sorry you are here. While it is an awful situation to be on your own to start with. I am incredibly impressed that you went after child support. 
The child is his responsibility too and her does not just get to walk away with "oops" . 
The courts take a dim view of this sort of behavior, it is unfortunately not that uncommon. Be prepared as being labeled a gold digger, an opportunist. It is unfair and despicable but it doesn't mean it won't happen.
If I were your friend. I would advise you to go this bastrd for every cent he has. Then keep going. 
Best form of defense is attack!


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## Ainslee (Nov 17, 2012)

Thanks again all. No I am not a gold digger but yes prepared for any bull%^&* that gets thrown my way. I have never asked him for a cent and have only offered for him to get to know his child thats it. He knows very well that its law here that all mothers are to apply for child support whether they want to or not. My plan is to get on with my life with bubs and do what i can to give her a good life starting with always making sure she has a roof over her head and food in her mouth. thats my priority. As for her father, i will never be with him again nor do i want to befriend him and plan to stay far far away from him but if he does change his mind and decide that he wants to be a part of his life i will try to be as amicable as i can for bubs sake and thats it. I dont feel like a victim as i dont like to think about it at all just move on with life.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

please inform her gf..you can probably empathize with her situation..


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