# been together since 14 years old



## Jonnyinuk (Sep 10, 2015)

hi everyone ...i have a question ..can a women that loves and adores her hubby that shes been with since they was both 14 and now 35 love him but maybe crave an experinace with another guy you think ? even tho they are good together and they do talk and hug and hold and have heart to hearts ? they do have a good time in the bedroom too, bcas shes only ever slept with her hubby ..can she crave the experiance of another man just once ? i just wanted to ask for peeps call on this ..am i crazy for even thing about it ? we do love each other and she has no intention of parting until we go old and grey ...please talk to me x


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Is this something your wife wants? Or is her having sex with another man a fantasy of yours?


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

So did you rob the cradle with her? Did you have some experiences with other women that your wife never had? What's driving this thought process?


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Anything is possible. You'd have to ask her about it, and not project your own ideas on her while doing so.


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## Jonnyinuk (Sep 10, 2015)

shes asked me a few times now whilst in the bedroom


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## Jonnyinuk (Sep 10, 2015)

its hers ...


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## Jonnyinuk (Sep 10, 2015)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> So did you rob the cradle with her? Did you have some experiences with other women that your wife never had? What's driving this thought process?


she has only ever been with me but i did have a relationship before her


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

In that case, yes, she may wonder what she's missed by having no other dating and sexual experiences. If your relationship and sex are good, this will probably pass - unless you both want to do something about this, and take the associated risks. And it likely won't be just once, unless that once is a bad experience. Anyway, I would suggest not pursuing this, and instead look for new experiences you two can create in the bedroom by yourselves. If you really, really can't let it go or transform it, then cautiously do something _together_, such as swinging with another couple, or just going to swinger socials and not participating in anything.


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## Anon1111 (May 29, 2013)

it's normal for her to be attracted to other men, but not great that she seems to be trying to actualize this.

my immediate question is whether she has lost attraction for you.

to be honest, it is an affront that she would even bring this up with you.

my second question would be whether she's already acted on it and just looking for you to absolve her.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Jonnyinuk said:


> shes asked me a few times now whilst in the bedroom


When it comes to a woman asking this question, be very aware that it is likely a sh!t test. As in she probably wants to see you get upset and jealous that she would even suggest the idea, just so she can verify that you care about her and love her. 

OR 

She could actually have that fantasy and just want to role play, or have you incorporate that into your dirty talk to spice things up. 

OR

She could actually want to try to have an open relationship.

OR

Perhaps she is finding out she might be into women.

OR

and so on and so on.


My point is that women are complicated and it is proven that their sexuality is much more fluid that men's over time. Your safest bet is to take it as a sh!t test, but LISTEN to what she has to say and ask questions!

Good luck, 
Badsanta


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

How do you feel about this? Do you think you can handle seeing your wife with another man?


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Google Opening Up its a book by Tristan ... crap can't remember her name. Well I gave you enough for google.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

NobodySpecial said:


> Google Opening Up its a book by Tristan ... crap can't remember her name. Well I gave you enough for google.


Taormino no wonder you can't remember it.

Opening up book at Amazon


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## Jonnyinuk (Sep 10, 2015)

Brooklynann can you message me please x


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## Jonnyinuk (Sep 10, 2015)

Brooklynann mail me please Bcas I can't message you on here and I do not know why ... Jonnys660 at hotmail.com


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

Jonnyinuk said:


> Brooklynann mail me please Bcas I can't message you on here and I do not know why ... Jonnys660 at hotmail.com


ok dude.


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## warshaw (Jul 31, 2015)

You're not supposed to post emails on the public forum and you can't message people on here until you have more posts. Besides why are you trying to private message that other poster so badly seems inappropriate if you ask me.


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## Jonnyinuk (Sep 10, 2015)

But no one is asking you ..


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## NoSizeQueen (Sep 9, 2015)

Jonnyinuk said:


> But no one is asking you ..


Dude, this is an open forum. You post something and people comment. That's how it works.


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

brooklynAnn said:


> ok dude.


haha, thirsty men be thirsty!

I'm waiting to hear that he's actually a Nigerian Prince who's father is being held by rebels and all he needs is $5000 and the country's treasury will be opened wide to you!


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

Countdown to thread being locked and OP banned….

10,9,8,7……...


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## warshaw (Jul 31, 2015)

Jonnyinuk said:


> But no one is asking you ..


Do you have issues socializing with others?


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

I think Jonny, was a wee bit embarrassed about certain things and he thought he would be judge or misunderstood. As such, like I told him, we can all give our opinions based on our experiences and beliefs. But no one can really tell him what to do. And none of us can guarantee that his marriage will make it if he and his wife indulge in their fantasies. 

I don't think most people realize how fragile marriages are. Even, strong ones, if its not nurtured and protected will not survive.

So, I wish Jonny well and good luck in whatever he and his wife chooses to do.


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## Jonnyinuk (Sep 10, 2015)

Thank you Ann xx


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

I think we've seen this scenario play out before, where older guy/girl who had a few relationships hooks up with fairly younger or significantly younger guy/girl who never got out of the gate yet with dating. Then the younger inexperienced spouse wishes he/she had dated around prior to marrying. I'm on the fence about these situations, because on the one hand you should not expect the more experienced spouse to give you a hall pass because you have regrets. If you make the choice to marry, then that's on you. 

The one caveat in this that I THINK would make this more murky is a situation like we see here. If you have this older, experienced guy hooking up with an underaged girl who never had her chance to date, and he can manipulate a young girl into thinking he's her prince charming and then - marriage - I can see legitimate buyers remorse. It looks predatory too me. A 4 year age gap does not sound like much except when an 18/19 year old is dating a 14 year old. To me, it sounds like the girl never had a chance.


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## Jonnyinuk (Sep 10, 2015)

We was both 14 when we met


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Jonnyinuk said:


> We was both 14 when we met


You didn't address that when asked earlier, so I thought you were older. ETA, what kind of relationship experience could you have possibly gained as a 14 year old - or younger - that makes your wife think she needs to balance the equation?


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## Jonnyinuk (Sep 10, 2015)

I know it paints a picture if my wife wanting the forbidden ... And makes her look selfish or bored but it really isn't like that ..we talk about things and fantasies and we always have ... It's sumthing that I have known for many years that sumone else looking or touching her makes her go wild with excitement .. She's do anything to please me .. Do I do the same ? And yes I have asked her if she'd let me be with sumone else just once and she said that what's fair for one has gotta be fair for the other one .. How many guys wouldn't even consider it ? How many would ? Can it be like giving my wife a present ?


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## Anon1111 (May 29, 2013)

Jonnyinuk said:


> I know it paints a picture if my wife wanting the forbidden ... And makes her look selfish or bored but it really isn't like that ..we talk about things and fantasies and we always have ... It's sumthing that I have known for many years that sumone else looking or touching her makes her go wild with excitement .. She's do anything to please me .. Do I do the same ? And yes I have asked her if she'd let me be with sumone else just once and she said that what's fair for one has gotta be fair for the other one .. How many guys wouldn't even consider it ? How many would ? Can it be like giving my wife a present ?


it's not like a present though because it's not an inanimate object.

it's another man who might very well rock her world in a way you don't.

in fact, the very fact that this other guy is new will mean he will bring something major to the table that you don't.

I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that there is something about this that turns you on, otherwise I very much doubt you would be probing it this determinedly.

As a male fantasy, this one strikes me as coming from an overall feeling of inadequacy. Rather than addressing the reasons behind this feeling, the inadequacy is fetishized.

I would imagine the hope is that your wife will taste the forbidden fruit and run home to you and tell you that you are so much better than the other guy.

But I doubt this happens very much and even if it did, once you started down this road, you would probably need your wife to keep comparing you to other men to assuage your fear that you aren't good enough. 

Rather than go through this self flaggelation, why not instead just become a better guy? One that you are confident should be everything your wife needs.


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## Kram (Sep 14, 2015)

My wife and I are in the similar situation. Only man my wife has had and only a couple of mistakes on my part many years ago. We are both 60 now and have a very good relationship.


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