# Confused



## vaness (9 mo ago)

I have some doubts about my marriage 

My husband and I dated when we were in our early 20’s and then split up due to distance. I was in Wellington Florida and him in Brisbane Australia
Fast forward to 2.5 years ago and we resumed our romance even surviving through COVID, got engaged and then got married 
However, I am starting to see things that are frankly starting to irritate me. After we got married, we almost separated a week later because of my “moods” - still not entirely sure what they were but he was going planning on returning to Australia. Although hurt, I respected his choice and wished him well. A few days before his departure, he reached out and fixed things.
We moved to England in November and life moved forward. In the interim, I have mostly supported us financially and in February he flew back to Australia to sort out his financial situation in order to start our lives together. I paid for both of our flights to Australia which were not cheap as he “needed to be in business class” due to his height and medical condition. I suppose I was fine with everything until his vacation with his children. They were spoiled, rude and incredibly disrespectful. He said nothing and fawned over them like a Disneyland Dad. He paid an exorbitant amount for their flights, accommodations and birthday gifts ( the youngest received a $1500 bike for his 12th birthday and the other one a $1000 camera). I sound petty but I received a magazine for my birthday, he couldn’t pay $7500 for flights or rent since we arrived in the UK.
I told him we could live in Australia if he needed to be closer yo his kids which he refuses …. He told me that our lives are in the UK but he is constantly organizing trips to Australia to be with the kids and not considering the finances 
I think my anger from all this responsibility got the best of me and I lost my temper really thinking about ending everything…. He then blamed me for being negative etc …. I ended up somehow being the bad guy 
He has no plans of working - he will do his thing (an online business)
He has been dishonest with me on numerous occasions about stupid stuff and I am starting to see the cracks in this relationship- I don’t want to be responsible for another adult and his kids (sorry to be so mean) are brats with no manners 
I have tried but my patience is wearing very thin !
And if anyone says talk to him about it = he takes zero responsibility for anything and it is ALWAYS my fault


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

If your in the UK why is the Finland flag on your signature?


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## vaness (9 mo ago)

Because I am in Finland for work until this afternoon 👍


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## Beach123 (Dec 6, 2017)

Only stay if you intend to pay for him and his family. I’m unsure what benefit you have by staying in this relationship.
Some men are mooches… he seems to have his source of money.
Why is that enough for you?


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## vaness (9 mo ago)

Beach123 said:


> Only stay if you intend to pay for him and his family. I’m unsure what benefit you have by staying in this relationship.
> Some men are mooches… he seems to have his source of money.
> Why is that enough for you?


Thanks 🙏. I suppose pride has gotten in the way 
I know I deserve much better than this - just a challenge for me to end it once and for all


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

vaness said:


> Thanks 🙏. I suppose pride has gotten in the way
> I know I deserve much better than this - just a challenge for me to end it once and for all


Based on your explanation of things, you got a dude that's using you as a financial source. End it. The sooner the better, and the less complications. Actions talk. Just talk is empty treats. Start those actions to dissolve this marriage where you are being taking advantage.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

I would absolutely end this. He sounds like he has narcissistic personality disorder and there’s no compromise with those types. He also is using you financially so before a baby comes along, if it were me, I would end it.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

He was apparently looking for someone to foot the bill and you won. It likely won’t be easier than now to get out.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Did you not meet his children before?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Beach123 said:


> Only stay if you intend to pay for him and his family. I’m unsure what benefit you have by staying in this relationship.
> Some men are mooches… he seems to have his source of money.
> Why is that enough for you?


She said he has an online business.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Time to boot the deadbeat.


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