# Is it to late?



## used2begood (Sep 29, 2013)

My husband and I have been married for 12 years. We have 3 kids,one who is disabled. Things have been difficult but I always thought we had a good relationship. Last year I found out that he had been having affairs..for the last 3 years he has had numerous affairs with women he met on the internet. I never saw it coming. I gave him the option of leaving or working it out so he left. then he called the next day and said he wanted to be with me and the kids. He wanted to work things out. I really want to make things work for the kids but also because I still love him. I am just having a hard time moving past what he has done. We have done counseling, together and individually but when it comes down to it I feel like there will always be this piece of me that can't trust him. He doesn't make it easy, he is always working late or out with friends and I don't feel comfortable grilling him about stuff. So he does whatever he wants and I get to feel terrible by myself. I even thought about trying to cheat on him but I am just not capable of that kind of betrayal. I don't understand how he was. Can we fix this..should we even try?:scratchhead:


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## KNIFE IN THE HEART (Oct 20, 2011)

I think you answered your question when you said you can't trust him. I think that once the trust is gone, the relationship is gone. Your H doesn't sound like he's remorseful because he hasn't changed his behaviour to make you feel comfortable and to help you to learn to trust him. And if you can't ask him where he's been, which is a valid question, without feeling like you are "grilling him" then your communication is not working. 

Truthfully though you are the only one who can make this decision. Are you willing to stay in a marriage in which you don't trust your partner? Don't worry what other people will think about your decision. You are the one who has to live with your decision.


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