# Direction-I'm lost



## WorkHardOnMyself (Feb 16, 2010)

I have been marred for 4 years now with one kid. I work for 8-11 hours a day through the week and my wife stays at home with our child. When we got engaged my & I started having issues with my mom over six years ago. She told me that I never stood up for her to mom, but it’s not true. I tried explaining over & over about the discussions with my Mom telling her she needs to apologize for the different things she says. Throughout the married my wife always tries to tell me how I’m feeling, or if I had an attitude or not, because at the beginning of the marriage I didn’t communicate much about anything unless I had too. I was use to being single and dealing with issues quietly and to myself. My wife also tells me about the issues I have like throwing silent fits, not lying about small stuff (Like about three years ago I made the mistake of being in a rush and not brushing my teeth one day never happened before, but I told her I did like an idiot. So she checked the toothbrush and it was dry), and not saying what’s on my mind. She told me about all of these issues and I told her that I would work on communication, not lying, helping more around the house. So last week, she told me I had and attitude which I really didn’t all, but she says body language tells all. She gets mad because during I discussion I telling her I didn’t have an attitude, but she saying I’m crazy & bipolar, a liar, and starts going off on me. When I say try to explain my side or maybe she can see where I’m coming from, she says that I get defensive, and I’m just really trying to explain my view point. I was like where is this stuff coming from because I called myself working on all of these issues since we discuss them. So She told me that I lied again to her at Christmas, because I went to my parents house but she stayed at home, so my mom being mad at us didn’t give me a gift for her since she didn’t come over. So I said screw it, and I got her two of my gifts and she asked was this from my parents and I said yeah. At the time, I answered on a impulse of nervousness when I said yeah, but she ask again, I said no! I was thinking the present my make her feel better or something. I guess the bottom line is that I lied that added to her hostility towards me. So I been coming to her asking what’s ups on her mind, do she want to talk about anything relationship, bills, or anything. She started to move out and saying I’m getting a divorce, and I like what happened to make you feel this way, and she me mad because I have been working harking on this relationship, but she says, “you didn’t do anything”. After some time of talking she told me that she never forgave me issues, and situations with my mom. So I apologize for not standing up for her five ago, even though I did talk to my mom about this stuff is does and says. Then I scheduled an appointment to see a psychologist to investigate into what she sees that I don’t. This is the question What do I to win back a wife I love and fought for, because I hurt her either way it goes, but I unsure where to start? Please any suggestions would be appreciated.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

How about you just start a promise to yourself and your wife today that you will be honest - with everyone - from this day forward? And not take the easy way out by making white lies? Tell your wife, and ask her to help you keep your word. She needs to feel like you're on her side.


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