# Brother end of life



## gold5932

My brother is at end of life in another state and is expected to live 3 weeks to 2 months. Family in other state will be placing him in nursing home on Monday. Nursing homes in that state do not allow any visitors at all. 

I've never been particularly close to my brother. I moved away years ago and I haven't spoken to him in over a year. we were both adopted at early age from same country but not same parents.

Flight back is over 6 hours and total travel time is 8 hours. COVID has me freaked out to travel that distance. I would fly in on Sunday and back out on Monday.

I really don't want to go because he isn't recognizing anyone at this point. Is this a bad decision??


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## Andy1001

Remember your brother as he was. Try and focus on the positive. 
If you want to go to the funeral then do so.


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## sokillme

That is really hard to answer without knowing you better. You need to really think how you will feel about this 10, 20 years from now.


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## Openminded

I personally wouldn’t feel I needed to go. Are you concerned how family will react if you don’t?


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## StarFires

1. COVID.....nuf saidan 
2. You don't want to go
3. You and he are not close
4. He won't know you're there.

There's no point in feeling guilty about not going. However, you definitely should attend his funeral. Keep yourself safe and plan for a road trip.

I'm awfully confused about your math. How does a 6-hour return only total an 8-hour round trip?


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## gold5932

Thank you for all the responses. I don't feel guilt exactly. I would go if there wasn't COVID. Flight is 6 hours, layover included, in and out to airport. So 8 hours each way. Fly in one day, fly out next. Once he goes into nursing home and starts hospice, nobody can visit. He goes into nursing home on Sunday or Monday. There would be no funeral and it's too far to drive. 

I don't think I'm going. He won't know I'm there and I really don't want to remember him like this.


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