# Shooting down the harpies...



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

So, tell me fellas, how do you shoot down harpies?
Harpies: AKA women who apparently hit on you in total disrespect of your wife

For me, it depends... 
- I fun-flirt back and lead them on, but then I like to tell wifey and then she gets annoyed that I've been flirting and that I didn't pluck any feathers. If I'm in a bad mood I'm actually more forward and aggressive, sometimes also wilder, which also annoys wifey even more...
- I flirt and play with wifey and let my exhibitionist side take over, to the missus' embarrassment at times when I start erm... hehe (she used to like it  , but now she's a good girl)
- I just be friendly, and try to steer the conversation to friendliness, though I have a habit of fun-flirting as instinct for fun - to the missus' annoyance. But if I'm in a bad mood, or when I just really don't want to bother, I play dumb - and I'm good at that - but wifey gets annoyed that I'm still not plucking feathers.

I just like to act cool with all this instead of just going "I'm not interested" to women who are just flirting with me. Besides it's not like I can accuse them when they can just go "just joking" "just mucking around" "just teasing" "don't take it that seriously, it's just fun" etc etc - that's also what I do hehe.

And playing dumb works all the time. I've been doing it since I was young, any lady who I don't like who flirts with me or shows me affection I play dumb and try to distance myself. When they are forward though then sure I would pluck some feathers - or have some fun leading them on before I pluck them.

But none of this makes the missus happy 
She reckons I may overstep the boundaries, but at the same time I do get embarrassed when she shows her claws to other women - and I don't want to people to think of her as a biatch or anything. I just wish she can play it a bit more cool.

What can we do?


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

never had that happen :scratchhead:

and what the h3ll is 'plucking feathers'?


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

There is no cure for harpies.


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

Face it, no matter what you do, you're gonna be in the doghouse. So, why not be preemtive, and insult yourself? My wife usually smiles and pats me on the head like a good puppy.

Say things like, "I'm sorry, maybe I would normally respond to someone like you, but my wife has my balls in her purse, so I'm not following what's going on here."

Or, nod to your wife and say, "My mistress says I can't show emotions, or use multi-syllable words tonight. Can I have a raincheck?"

Okay, I'll admit it... Those are the types of responses that usually enter my mind as alternatives that I should've tried after she comes to bed with the flannel pj's, and turns her back to me. Playing dumb is all we know, right? I even insulted a woman who later married my BIL, and my wife got mad at me for being rude, even though she was ready to scratch the woman's eyes out. Yet, you play dumb and she wonders why I wasn't more direct about calling her out...


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## Jen's Husband (Nov 26, 2011)

For me it's always been a matter of playing dumb and clueless. I've found this to be the most safe thing to do, though it can take longer because some women will sort of up the ante repeatedly assuming that I'm just not "getting it." The reason this works for me is because until my mid 20s I really was truly clueless as to when this was happening, until my wife or another woman would clue me in. So just continuing my own natural behavior is easier and more genuine for me than some attempt to use another method.


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

Halien said:


> Face it, no matter what you do, you're gonna be in the doghouse. So, why not be preemtive, and insult yourself? My wife usually smiles and pats me on the head like a good puppy.
> 
> Say things like, "I'm sorry, maybe I would normally respond to someone like you, but my wife has my balls in her purse, so I'm not following what's going on here."
> 
> ...


Dude, are you sh!tting me? Your wife refuses sex, pats you on the head, and you deprecate yourself when the "harpies" come around?

Two things you should know: one, your wife treats you like crap (well, duh) - like you are beneath her. Women have a sixth sense when it comes to men who are mistreated by their wives.
It's not just that they do not care you are married and flirt; they are capitalizing on your dissatisfaction to get a reaction.

Two: your wife knows the above as well. To her, they are not just disrespectful but also a game-changer. You might (but probably would not) cheat if these women were forward enough and you were attracted enough. More likely, seeing how other women treat their men (and feeling good from getting some attention) makes you realize your worth, which means you will at some point expect better treatment (which your wife does not want to happen).

Also, your wife is the harpy - striking at you incessantly and stealing your sexuality and self esteem. Sorry, that's three things to know I guess.


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

DTO said:


> Dude, are you sh!tting me? Your wife refuses sex, pats you on the head, and you deprecate yourself when the "harpies" come around?
> 
> Two things you should know: one, your wife treats you like crap (well, duh) - like you are beneath her. Women have a sixth sense when it comes to men who are mistreated by their wives.
> It's not just that they do not care you are married and flirt; they are capitalizing on your dissatisfaction to get a reaction.
> ...


Chill. Breathe slowly. Your response reminds me of one of those philosophy essays: Given a rock, define the universe. Instead, given a self-depreciating joke, define a marriage. RandomDude knows me, you don't, but I periodically pick on him because he is only a few years into a marriage with a very high libido wife, compared to me. Trust me, low self-esteem is not one of my failings. I'm trying, though.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

I just took this - interesting test. Curious what you think. 


Free narcissism test and personality tests for leaders and managers




RandomDude said:


> So, tell me fellas, how do you shoot down harpies?
> Harpies: AKA women who apparently hit on you in total disrespect of your wife
> 
> For me, it depends...
> ...


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

MEM11363 said:


> I just took this - interesting test. Curious what you think.
> 
> 
> Free narcissism test and personality tests for leaders and managers


About how you did?


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Conrad,
I am going to predict you score a 27. 

I scored a 29. 

RandomDude. Hmmm. I don't want to predict. I prefer for him to take the test and report back to us. 




Conrad said:


> About how you did?


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

MEM11363 said:


> Conrad,
> I am going to predict you score a 27.
> 
> I scored a 29.
> ...


28


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

MEM11363 said:


> Conrad,
> I am going to predict you score a 27.
> 
> I scored a 29.
> ...


I scored a 27. I just wish they were all this easy. Maybe I could prove to my wife that I'm a good listener, even if I always just reply, "Ummm. Ok."


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

My husband acts as if the women don't exist and grabs my hand and walks away. It works with me every time although it's only happened a handful of times under the rare occasion we're at a large event, party or bar.


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

I scored a 30 on the test too Dean. Great minds think alike...crap, wait, that was narcissistic.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

25

I can't say though as what you describe has ever happened. Maybe once years ago but I chalk it up to her being in the throes of a nasty divorce.


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

*Dean* said:


> Halien...based on your writings/postings....regarding leadership (lower left)
> 
> I believe you would be in Box 2
> 
> I have taken that test many years back.


Unfortunately, where I work, my manager's assessment of my personality profile is discussed in every review - Something along the lines of: "Determined driver, high empathy, tells wierd jokes that nobody gets. We think it was from the summer when he broke his leg as a kid and found his uncle's treasure trove of Mad Magazines. Trust me, give this guy a Weibul Analysis for the reliability curve for a new model launch, and he'll fold it in thirds to see if it reveals a 'half-naked woman', in his words. "


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

T,
Perfect response - you selected well......




Trenton said:


> My husband acts as if the women don't exist and grabs my hand and walks away. It works with me every time although it's only happened a handful of times under the rare occasion we're at a large event, party or bar.


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## rotor (Aug 28, 2010)

> Your total score is 21.
> 
> Scores between 24 and 34 are normal (The average is 29).
> 
> ...


Bahahaha! :rofl: Can’t say I have ever been accused of lacking in self-confidence. I’m pretty sure that anyone who knows me would fall out of their chair laughing if they ever saw that one. LOL 

OK back to the original subject.

What I generally do for example, is say you are in a bar and you are getting pretty obvious looks from across the bar is to just tune them out and pay attention to wifey exclusively. It gets the point across pretty easily and you get style points with the wife because she knows what’s up.

If it’s a situation where things are face to face, I try to avoid flirting and keep things low key and friendly. I wouldn’t appreciate seeing wifey flirting with someone else in my presence so I imagine it would probably be the same for her.

This is just dating 101 if you ask me. Married or not.

Regards,

rotor


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I fail to see why any of this relevant unless you're married to a needy child.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

> Ok RD how was your score?


33. =/


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

@Halien

Insult myself? I'm too stuck up for that =/
Unless it's someone I know and cool with and I don't want to offend them and if they are being too forward. Insulting them though... heh I don't do that no more. Nor trying to scare the sh-t outta them (ridicolously that managed to get me laid even back in the day from time to time)

Still remember when I was younger before I met my wife, I had these lady on the opposite lounge just staring and fluttering. I just ignored her, but she kept at it, and I guess she thought I was shy... until I just looked her dead in the eye and yelled "WHAT THE F--K ARE YOU STARING AT?!" :rofl:

Heh reminds me too of my first, though if I didn't push back the "harpies" (my ex just called them sl-ts, wh-res, b-tches, etc, harpy is a term my wife uses), she would beat the flying f--k outta them. She fought better then most men too as a trained kickboxer lol, funny times.

Hell now I feel old...



> I even insulted a woman who later married my BIL, and my wife got mad at me for being rude


:rofl:
Damn sometimes I hate this small world!

@Jen's husband 

For me I just feel it, and I always trust my instincts. I guess I look at my instincts as "sh-t that logic has missed"

@Trenton

How do you react in large events, parties, etc?


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

RandomDude said:


> @Trenton
> 
> How do you react in large events, parties, etc?


I'm a social person and I'm naturally inclined to respond to anyone in a friendly manner. Honestly, I don't notice men hitting on me and don't believe they are. I do think my husband is a little over reactive. They might start up a conversation or whatnot but I've never had a guy blatantly ask me something that told me he was hitting on me. 

If my husband is uncomfortable he'll intervene and I'll follow his lead out of respect for him. He does tell me he's worried about me attending a lot of work events lately but, contrary to his belief, I've not been handed phone numbers right and left. Durrr.

He has no problem telling me I'm naive or overly friendly, tells me I should stop expecting the best from people and assume they're all good. Then lectures me on how I don't understand men or get what they're after.


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## Unloved11 (Jan 17, 2012)

You always compare me with your first...


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

:slap: Hijack! 

*sighs*
And no I not comparing, I just got reminded of it. You know she was too much of a violent b-tch for me


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## Unloved11 (Jan 17, 2012)

Do you want me to go?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Nah, stay, maybe it can help. =/
You can read everything now and you know it, I'm not hiding anymore


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## Unloved11 (Jan 17, 2012)

You still come on here, and you say your ex was a ***** but you respect her more then me


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Respect is one thing, love is another, and what the f--k do I have to do to prove to you that I DO respect you, and stop being like K thinking of my ex like a ghost. You're better then that.

Besides you know you are even more of a biatch from time to time compared to them, I married you after all 

Your theme song: meredith brooks ***** - YouTube
And you know I wouldn't want it any other way


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## Unloved11 (Jan 17, 2012)

Haha and this is SO you:
CHRIS FRANKLIN - BLOKE (2000) - YouTube

You can fetch your own beer tonight though


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## Unloved11 (Jan 17, 2012)

Haha and this is SO you:
CHRIS FRANKLIN - BLOKE (2000) - YouTube

You can fetch your own beer tonight though


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Funny...



> You can fetch your own beer tonight though


That's my girl 

Not long babe, but plz stop hijacking me threads!
Ok back to topic...


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

@Trenton

I always trust my gut, and women simply do make me feel that discomfort pressing boundaries that makes me realise what's going on I guess. (and yes unloved11/babe, discomfort ) I just play it cool or try to I guess.



> He has no problem telling me I'm naive or overly friendly, tells me I should stop expecting the best from people and assume they're all good. Then lectures me on how I don't understand men or get what they're after.


Heh, guess my wife and I's advantage (or curse) is that we were both players. Though she likes to... hehe nah I better not tempt her


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

RandomDude said:


> @Trenton
> 
> I always trust my gut, and women simply do make me feel that discomfort pressing boundaries that makes me realise what's going on I guess. (and yes unloved11/babe, discomfort ) I just play it cool or try to I guess.
> 
> ...


Him and I were also like that. In fact, I believe it's initially what attracted us to one another.

I think the problem you're both not seeing is that once you're married it is about the two of you and playing stops. I never intentionally play. I wouldn't do that to him and I wouldn't want him to do it to me.


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> @Halien
> 
> Insult myself? I'm too stuck up for that =/


Even though one poster feared that I was serious, what I was jokingly getting at is that you probably couldn't insult yourself if you really are a drama queen, as in your logo.

Me? One thing that I really don't like about myself is that I easily master the aloof, condescending response in situations like this. While I want my wife to know that she is the only woman I see in a crowd, I don't like the arrogance within me that it takes to pull this off. In high school, one of the girl's organization voted me their 'heart throb' for the two years I went there. Basically, it meant that I was the designated 'date', and an escort in events. In a careless response to a girl who had been following me at every dance, I broke her heart in a way that she might've forgotten, but I never did. Strange, but I feel kind've sorry for women who flirt when my wife is near. Spent years apologizing to that girl, and scold myself for shooting down the harpies.


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## janesmith (Nov 29, 2010)

I notice when other women are checking him out, I sometimes notice when other men are checking me out and bring both to his attention. he is or acts clueless. neither situation bother us. i had a work friend proposition both of us on different occasions, we turned her down, but had fun with it.

Your total score is 35.

Scores between 24 and 34 are normal (The average is 29).

If your score is 35 or more you may be narcissistic.

If your score is 23 or less you may be lacking in self-confidence.


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## cloudwithleggs (Oct 13, 2011)

Conrad said:


> 28


i scored 28 too.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

Tim Tebow cured my Harpies.


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