# Growing apart...



## only1trying (Aug 24, 2009)

I have been with my boyfriend on and off over the past 5 years- we met in high school. We now have two kids together and have not broken up since we had our daughter two and half years ago. I think that we are growing apart. We both have different dreams/goals in life and each others goal gets in the way of the other person. We work constantly to make ends meet so we don't see much of each other. He plays softball and bowling and when he's not doing that he's watching ESPN or playing video games. I don't get out much and when I do I have to take the kids with me. He has no plans of going to college, but I am currently taking online classes. When that is finished I have plans to go an hour and half away because that is the closest college to home where I can get a photography degree. But that is still too far for him. We can't all move because he has a good job, he doesn't want me to take the kids and leave, and he doesn't want it to be just me going.

What the hell else am I supposed to do!? I can't sit at a desk for the rest of my life- hurt and torn because he held me back from what I really wanted to do. I just need someone to tell me how we can meet in the middle and still be a family.

I want my kids to have a 24/7 dad- not an every other weekend dad.


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## jdskr88 (Aug 11, 2009)

Dear Growing Apart:

I don't mean to offend you but this is why people get married. They are making a committment to be a team and to work together on comman goals. Even if your personal goals differ, you can agree to accomplish both as a team. If necessary, one goes first and then the other - it doesn't really matter because you have a lifetime contract.

When there's insecurity over the solidarity and of the future of the relationship it's hard to trust. Make a committment for the long haul and everyone can have what they want, including the kids who will have an intact mommy and daddy.


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

You won't have to sit at a desk the rest of your life, but why not delay the college plans until your kids are in school full-time? Having young kids is difficult with both parents working/going to school so sometimes it's best to put some things on hold until life settles down a bit.

I sense you harbor some resentment towards your husband since he seems to do what he wants when he's not at work & you feel he isn't giving you any free time w/o the kids...I would think that would be more of an issue at the moment.


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