# Marriage on the Rocks....



## mannpieces (Jan 24, 2013)

My marriage of 15 years is a walking corpse, or as my mother-in-law who hates me so calls it, an arrangement. We have kids, one who I think is an Asperger, and was never correctly diagnosed.

I have NO peace or tranquility in my home. I have no authority or leverage left. My wife and MIL are conniving hurtful emotionally abusive people. They threaten me with leaving me with my son, and taking my daughter whom I adore, and she adores me away.

We have had a rough life that one would think only through a dark curse such unrelenting stress, problems and tragedy.

My wife and MIL blame me for my genes giving her such a son with such trouble. He is BIG BIG trouble and oppositional that he only wants to do bad to his parents. He manipulates us 24x7, except when he's sleeping. He's clearly ODD, and God knows what other mental issues he has.

My wife never lets my MIL go home, and its from the moment the MIL opens her eyes the criticism, insults, yelling and screaming starts. My kids can't take it anymore. My wife ALWAYS sides with her mother, and I can never get a point across. To deal with this, I go about my business, and ignore it - ignore, ignore ignore - until this crazy old divorced sexually repressed MIL gets in my face. Only then I answer back and defend myself, bc apparently my wife forgot her vows and her commitment as a wife. She doesn't defend me, and the kids don't want to hear bad things said about their dad.

I'm a lousy husband, lousy father, lousy this, lousy that. My wife shouldn't have married me, and her life is going to be wonderful when me and "MY" son leave. My baby girl always cries and complains that SHE wants to have daddy time, but they keep sending me and my son to get out of their hair. 

When the MIL finally goes to her home, it's like a cloud has lifted and the atmosphere is much more calm and relaxed, that even my kids say "Hey, Mommy and Daddy aren't fighting, or "they're nice to each other"

But of course, my little devil son makes sure that peace is elusive no matter who is in the house. The unfortunate flip side about this, is when he does his terror in the house, suddenly I'm not the issue.

Don't get me wrong, I love my wife, I love my family, would do anything anything to make this work, to make sure that my kids don't have a broken home, and make sure that I have the balls to stick around, unlike her own father. But nonetheless history is for sure to repeat itself.

My MIL is like a large child always trying to "get me in trouble" with my wife. Like I took my daughter the park yesterday, when the MIL was babysitting. How dare I!

Everybody is walking on eggshells. Life is upside down spinning out of control. I've been living in a ghetto for long time now with hopes of somehow things getting better. 
I broke down and begged her to treat me like a human being!! While I cried, she kept her eyes wide open like a zombie, yelling and threatening. Fool that I am wear my heart on my sleeve, and she is a callous piece of ice.

We have a small family circle, and all they do is talk about breaking up the family. My daughter would be devastated. Even this "arrangement" is driving me mad. There is no longer any "us" - husband and wife. Her mother is her life partner, and I'm just a useful idiot. Work, shop, chores, son's personal valet.

I don't know what to do next, or how long I can take this anymore. I'm not getting any younger. I feel emotional alienated and depressed. How many guys would have stuck it out as long as I have.

When I finally come home with my son LATE at night, they comment oh, they're back. Then they immediately start up a scandal of their own making, yelling and screaming - AND THEN, they say how quiet is has been without us.

Tonight, I walked in with a bouquet of flowers, just like that, and immediately she screamed don't you know I'm allergic. You purposely did that. I'm giving those flowers to the neighbor. And said the best gift I could have gave her was to never come back.

I'm usually so sad, but now I've just downright had it. But I have nowhere to go, and I fear that I could lose my daughter - the only reason I have left to go on. I wish I could turn this around, but this is a one way relationship, I'm the only one that still says I love her. The MIL has also destroyed this marriage with her continuous badgering of my wife (her daughter) of what a herculean mistake she made, he's not a man, yada yada yada. But even a dog has limits.

I know the first suggestion will be go to marriage counseling. But my wife laughs and downright refuses. She seems to have no regrets about me leaving if that what I did. This only scratches the surface of the tragic marriage that it has turned out to be.

Thanks for letting me vent.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

I hope I would man up and tell my MIL to kiss my azz, and demand she leave. If the wife takes her side then good riddance to bad rubbish Who is the dad around there? Mental illness is no excuse for bad behavior. My dad whoop the mental illness out of my azz.
Of course it is easy for me to say this as I have not walked in your shoes, but I think you may be setting a bad example for your children. I truly hope things work out for you.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Sorry you are having such a rough time, but please stop referring to your son like that. If he has any issues take him to a professional for diagnosing but calling him a devil? Really no wonder he acts up. How old is he? What have you done to help him so far?

Second tell your wife to pick mommy or you! I don't know if you are in the US but in most countries you can't just take a child away. Why does she only want to take the Daugher? Does she not love your son? 

Stop bening afraid of her and stand up to her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## azteca1986 (Mar 17, 2013)

mannpieces said:


> My marriage of 15 years is a walking corpse, or as my mother-in-law who hates me so calls it, an arrangement. We have kids, one who I think is an Asperger, and was *never correctly diagnosed*.


Get him correctly diagnosed. That's your 'job' as his father.



> I have NO peace or tranquility in my home. *I have no authority* or leverage left. My wife and MIL are conniving hurtful emotionally abusive people. They threaten me with leaving me with my son, and taking my daughter whom I adore, and she adores me away.


Get it back. That's your job as a husband.



> My wife and MIL blame me for my genes giving her such a son with such trouble. He is BIG BIG trouble and oppositional that *he only wants to do bad* to his parents.


If this were still the middle ages you'd be telling us he's possesed (in fact you do a later). If you truly believe that, you need professional help to learn how to cope. Be thankful we live in the twenty first century. There's help out there. We're not born knowing.



> He manipulates us 24x7, except when he's sleeping. He's *clearly ODD*, and God knows what other mental issues he has.


He has Special Needs. The way you talk about your son is offensive.

There is a *80% failure rate* for marriages with kids who have special needs. There are extra stresses that your situation affects such marriages. Failing to have your child properly diagnosed, to provide positives examples of behaviour in the home and to learn AND address your son's problems is why your marriage is doomed.



> But of course, my *little devil son* makes sure that peace is elusive no matter who is in the house.


It's not his fault. He needs you both to get him the help he needs. 

Your first step: Go home and kick your MIL out of your lives until she behaves in a way that is of benefit to your marriage. Your MIL is absolutely toxic. Your wife will find some respect for you that she'd long since thought she'd forgotten and in time will thank you.


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

I'd bet that a large part of your son's problems are related to the environment he's being raised in. 

Spend the next few weeks journalling dates, times, and what was said by whom, to create a record of the abusiveness you're seeing. While you're doing that, figure out how to take your children and leave. File for divorce. Do not discuss it. Just do it. 

That's the ONLY way you're going to see changes in anything. But be prepared for your wife to suddenly flip to suddenly wanting to make things work. Recognize it as the ploy that it is. 

If she really decides to make things work, you'll see her walk the walk by getting into counseling, cutting the apron strings, and CONSISTENTLY recognizing your importance in the children's lives and hers.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

In addition to the advice Kathy gives about journaling, I would suggest you start using a hidden VAR. I think it will help once you start moving forward with a divorce, because from what you describe, I can see her and her mother making up lies about you being abusive or neglectful, etc. How old is your son and daughter?


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## mannpieces (Jan 24, 2013)

*Re: Marriage on the Rocks....follow-up*

(Didn't get any alerts on replies, so sorry for delay)

I just want to thank everyone who answered, especially those with special needs kids and the affect it has on marriage. 

First off, I was very pent up the night I posted, and I see some were offended how I may have referred to my son. Sometimes I'm tongue in cheek, but apologize if I offended anyone. Believe me, I love my son, and suffer every day with how difficult the situation has been, and relentless in keeping him out of trouble at school, in public, with the neighbors, at home, etc.. Many times being embarassed in public.

The most difficult thing is that my wife instead of coming together with me - like Plan9..whom I admire for being able to see on the same page w/his wife- blames me and scapegoats me with the MIL. 

They constantly berate me in front of my kids, and recently I notice my daughter clinging to me and getting agitated that they say all these "bad things about daddy" My son joins in the parade, disrespectful that he is, and its one big whooping party encouraged by them. It's horrendous to take a special needs child and manipulate him against his own father.

I have just about given up hope that my marriage will ever be repaired. What am I guilty of? I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, don't cheat, have a decent job, (am i boring ;-P?)spend tons of time with my kids and doing stuff around the house, sometimes to the detriment of my work. My son seems to monopolize my time abnormally (don't get me wrong, I've spent wonderful times with him 1-on-1 since my daughter was born) Now she too wants her daddy time and dammit she's right! My wife just pushes my son off on me, and tells me how peaceful it is when the two of us aren't around.

When I travel with my wife, she always gives me mixed signals - talking to me, advising with me, sometimes letting me hold her hand -but the moment we're thru the door and the MIL is around - "its how can we conspire against him, mom"

3Xnocharm, you are right about them making up lies and wild exaggerations. They would even get my son to jump on that bandwagon.

Son is 12, daughter 9. I don't know any way forward. Everytime I let my guard down, I get trampled on. I get no love, warmth, affection, or even treatment as a human being. I get heartache, pain, stress and threats. My daughter is the only light in my life.

Thx again all.


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## azteca1986 (Mar 17, 2013)

Hey Mannpieces, I'm glad you're back. I thought we'd lost you.

You and your wife have to accept that your marriage is under two abnormal stresses.

1. Having a special needs child
2. Toxic MIL

You have got to get MIL out of your lives to give your marriage any kind of a chance. It's clear from your posts how harmful she is and what a terrible influence she is to your wife.

I will write further when I have a moment. My situation wasn't a world away from your own. I was at the point of walking away; we'd started to seriously talk about divorce. 

Please stick around.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Tell your wife that MIL is no longer welcome in the house. If she wants to see her mother, she can visit her at her place.


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## whatslovegottodowithit? (Jan 6, 2013)

Does your W and MIL know that you are non-confrontational? Are you? They speak and treat you as such knowing that nothing will happen. Bullies don't like when the tables are turned, and I don't suggest you bully back, but rather take a stand for yourself, if not for you, then your children! They need to see a strong DAD who protects himself so they can take comfort that DAD will protect them when times get tough.


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## Sunshine Cadillac (Apr 30, 2013)

I really hope everything works out for you. As I am not married yet, nor do i have children or even any special needs people in my life I have no idea what you are going through or how hard your life is right now. But I do agree that you need to take a stand, and not allow your MIL into your house anymore and tell your wife she can visit her mom but her mom cannot visit your family. Have the two of you tried counselling together? Maybe telling a middle man about the abuse infront of your wife will make a difference or help her see what she is doing is wrong?

Best of luck to you, dont give up hope and stay strong for your kids and your own sanity!


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## mannpieces (Jan 24, 2013)

Ho hum, 2am and I'm trying to catch up on work that I can't get done during the day, and the MIL is mumbling under ITS breath why is he up, why doesn't he go to sleep. This after her snoring like a volcano is about to erupt. I was supposed to go to the Dr. today, but the W and MIL come home after the office closes, and I'm taking care of my son all day. Then they complain I'm selfish and trying to get the kids sick. We all already had something, and i'm last in line. Also W tells me I should get pneumonia. I was already on a course of AB, but it resurfaced.

So, my W and I get an unusual break to get out to the center of town together (due to some personal business), where I know she feels great that she is out, and I'm happy about that. That night she actually comes in the BR, I think for intimacy! Like WOW. But faster than a flash of lighting, the MIL calls her down to complain that I shut the window (was pretty damn cold) "purposely" "spitefully" and a sneaky bastard out to get her somehow. SHe was fast asleep snoring a minute ago, but apparently not deeply unconscious as I had hoped. Even my W thought it silly, but the MIL nonetheless launched into a 2 hour tirade about me again (aren't I special  - well anyway that was enough to kill the moment (and don't know when I'll get it again) So she definitely has to go. My W would never allow me to push her out.

THen the next morning, she has the G'damn neve to start telling me things like I have just an arrangement, and my W doesn't love me, and once my son is away, I'm next. God awful downright dirty venomous bitter poison. ANd then tells her I never say "thank you" to her. FOr what??? Ruining my marriage? And just when I thought my W's brain was advancing, she reverts right back to form lock step with mommy. It's sickening. I believe somewhere deep down there may some feelings or consideration left for me, but doesn't matter bc the MIL's influence is overpowering to her. I even said if you put her in her place like you should, I wouldn't have to argue with her at all. But she leaves the situation to explode. 

There's more, but why go on. Thanks all again for your empathy.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Why are you tolerating this?? Get that woman OUT of YOUR HOUSE! If wife objects, then she can go too! Holy crap, man!


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## azteca1986 (Mar 17, 2013)

Your latest post is sadly more of the same. Oh, with the added info that your MIL is c*ckblocking you. I actually see glimmers of hope when your W is on her own, but her mother's influence is too strong a pull.

Things will remain the same if you don't do something about. If you can't/won't do it for yourself, I'd like you to think of your poor daughter. God only knows what she's learning about being a woman from you MIL; none of it is good. Please, protect her, keep her away from this awful woman.

You've got to get MIL out of your lives at least for a while or nothing will change. You know that. Your marriage doesn't have a hope if, as you wrote in your first post;


> Even this "arrangement" is driving me mad. There is no longer any "us" - husband and wife. *Her mother is her life partner*


Come on, man. Step up to the plate. Do what you have to do for the sake of yourself, your marriage and your family.


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## OverTheShoulder (May 1, 2013)

If you have no respect for the MIL. Tell her to get out of your house. That she is the reason for all the hate. 

Tell her to leave your house, that everyone would be much happier without her. That she is destroying YOUR kids with the argueing.

It may come to the point where you should set up a hidden camera and record from the moment she sets foot in your house. When it comes down to custody for your kids, show them the abuse you go through. This may cause a judge to agree that your wife is NOT the person to raise kids.

Also, you speak of your son pretty poorly. He is your son, and you should try not to point him out to be a problem. His behavious is not helping your relationship, so get him checked out. Your W and MIL behavious is just feuling his behaviour. It's acceptable in his eyes. Spend more time with him, not your MIL and W. Divert his energy somewhere else.

All easier said then done, but:

Get rid of MIL. Tell your wife you want time for the two of you and your kids.

Get your son to get checked out. Don't label him. He really can't help it to a point. Fill his time with things to do that keep his mind busy. Doctors can help with this stimulant. He does not need to be around people negative, or showing him abuse is good, especially at a young age.

Once you get that done, get a baby sitter (NOT your MIL), and you and your wife get out.

Set up a hidden camera if you can (They are cheap now) if arguements with your MIL, wife, and you happen everytime she comes over. This may be the thing if you split up that can save you at least some heart ache.

Hope it gets better.


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## ubercoolpanda (Sep 11, 2012)

Important question: Do you love your wife? 

You need to sit her down and tell her exactly how you feel. Get some divorce papers and tell her if things don't change you're gone. Firstly the MIL needs to GO. Give your wife the ultimatum. If she seriously cared about you she'd listen and understand.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Your wife has a very unnatural and dangerous relationship with her mother. Can you guys move far far away?

For now: go open your front door and tell the MIL to get the duck out. Turn to your wife and ask if she wants to follow? Tell her she can pick mommy or the family as a whole because that's what you are, no picking kids no. She can go or she can stay but she needs to stop being mean and abusive to all of you. I can't imagine picking one child over another, that is a heartless woman.
If she leaves go document it with the court or police that she abandoned your family.

Be strong show boundaries your wife will complain at first but she will get over it.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

I think the most bothersome thing here is - what does your wife say during all the plotting to abandon her child (your son?) Is she just standing there - does she ever say anything? (I'd never leave Sam behind, Mom.)


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## mannpieces (Jan 24, 2013)

Thx everyone for their obvious and correct advice. 
PLs. note, I love my son, and we finally may have him on the right dose of medication. All thru the years, I argued to get him therapy, but she always said he would "outgrow and mature" She would refuse any medication. I think had we put him on ADHD medicine way back he'd be a different child. I took him a few times, but she never stuck w/it. One therapist said therapy would not be effective w/o both of us present. But now fast fwd, he's on anti-depressant meds. One psych told us he was suffering. He really can't be w/o the meds for a long while.

Today we had a relatively quiet day/evening w/my son who fell asleep on the couch, when the MIL whose own illness to start w/me couldn't be controlled, starts up with her mouth. Then the constant drubbing how her daughter made a mistake, this happened x years ago, that happened...drudging up the past and telling me to go back to my mother who've I've been estranged from for almost 7 years. 

So, how'd it start today? I was up in the BR getting undressed when I thought my son was coming up. I started to come out to help him to his room when it's the fkn MIL, so I reverse and close the door. She runs down like a tattle-tale to my wife "he's crazy, disrespectful slamming the door on me, blah blah blah. What is he playing w/himself? I come down and said I was undressed and thought it was the boy, but why the F--(K do I have to explain myself???

My wife sensing blood assumed mommy-defense mechanism and they're both screaming and threatening me - while my son just barely to sleep still on the couch. It's as if they are so used to chaos with my son, that it couldn't possibly be quiet so they have to attack me. It must be an illness. I ask my wife, why can't you ignore her rantings instead of attacking me right away. She goes on and on how don't think its your BR, yada yada. Then she tells me to leave and I don't have the balls and then spits on me!!! (BTW, my son did this often).

So, I break for the BR bc I'm disgusted, and I just want to get the hell out of here, but I really have nowhere to go. My daughter wakes up with all the noise, says she was scared.

I know I'm upset, but I think my wife deserves someone like her father, who cheated and ran off w/another woman. I'm very family oriented and its not in me to do that. And, I excessively worry about leaving my kids and running off in this most intense situation. It would truly be what the MIL has waited for for years. How much more can I take?


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Wtf are you waiting for?? Get that evil b!tch OUT of your house! Wait... THOSE evil b!tches! Geez no wonder they do this, you let them! Get them out before you snap and one of them ends up dead! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

mannpieces said:


> ... I just want to get the hell out of here, but I really have nowhere to go.


No friends? No family? No motel in the area? C'mon ... we all have somewhere we can go.



mannpieces said:


> I know I'm upset, but I think my wife deserves someone like her father, who cheated and ran off w/another woman. I'm very family oriented and its not in me to do that. And, I excessively worry about leaving my kids and running off in this most intense situation. It would truly be what the MIL has waited for for years. How much more can I take?


To begin with, who gives a rat's a$$ what your wife deserves? Get out of revenge mode. It serves no purpose. Also, you should be aware that your kids are smarter than you think. They are watching and seeing how you and your wife and that wacky MIL interact. Do you want this to be their role models? 

What your MIL thinks is none of your business. Seriously. But you are allowing this loon to get under your skin. Mister, get your cahones tucked in tight and tell her to shut the f*** up. Then if your wife sides with mommy, so be it.

Your kids see a guy with no backbone. Are you here to vent or are you willing to lay it on the line? Frankly, I'm beginning to wonder about men and women who come here and complain so vehemently about their sh!tty situations, but remain stuck.

What are you afraid of? You already have two shrieking witches in collusion who are trying to bust your nuts. Heck, if I'd ever so much as said half of this stuff to my husband, he would have kicked my butt into next week.

You think you are smoothing things over for the sake of your kids. NO. Your kids are watching their dad get ball-busted by a couple of loony women.

Put on your big-boy boxers and tell these women to shut up. Take control of the situation. Jeesh!


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## wilderness (Jan 9, 2013)

I had a mil like this, the abuse is horrible and unless someone has gone through it, can't imagine what it's like. If I had to do it all over again, I would have moved away. If that is not possible, I love the idea of recording everything and planning your escape. Your kids need you and you are headed for divorce unless you can get out of this woman's grasp. She has a personality disorder and is very sick. Short of Jesus Christ, no one can help her.


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## azteca1986 (Mar 17, 2013)

> She runs down like a tattle-tale to my wife "he's crazy, disrespectful slamming the door on me


Please, please do this for real with your front door when you kick her out. Your MIL doesn't have an illness, she is one.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

*This is YOUR HOUSE! GROW SOME BALLS AND TELL THAT B!TCH TO GET THE [email protected] OUT AND NEVER COME BACK!*


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## mannpieces (Jan 24, 2013)

Hi, ALL...Thanks for sticking with me. Wilderness, thx for sharing. WhatsLoveGotTodowithitnow, yes, easier said than done. 
3XNOCharm et al.: Today my wife went out - I was supposed to go w/her, but my son didn't want to go, so I ended up staying home with the MIL & Kids. My daughter started have a hissy fit and repeating garbage that the MIL had said about me in front of her. I blew a gasket and told her why the [email protected]$k are you still here for, why don't you ever leave, you threaten you're going home and never ever leave. I'll be glad to take you, get out. She fkn exploded for 30-mins, threatening to call 911 on me, blah blah blah - Wait til my wife gets home, she threatens. Took the kids and hung out in the basement, she's yelling down the stairs. I'm doing HW w/them, she finally shut up. Wife comes home, why starting w/my mother...I told my wife straight away I told her my mind and went to the basement..anyway, so I do tell them what's on my mind. But its a constant war in front of the kids. BTW, it not just MY house, its my WIFE's house, legally and financially and that's why the MIL feels empowered.

So, all you cowboys out there, if you want to know what I am going through, I found this article that describes it to a tee - only I'm verbally abused by BOTH wife and MIL: 
How Emotionally Abusive Women Control You: The Fear of Loss and the Need for Approval | A Shrink for Men Also, reading this: http://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/verbal-abuse/your-verbally-abusive-wife-what-can-you-do/


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

What you are going through is the same thing a verbally/emotionally abused woman goes through. Unfortunately you have both your wife and her mother.

Are you in counseling? There are places taht offer counseling to abused men. They are often the same places that offer it to abused women. They usually work on a sliding scale for fees.

You do have power here but apparenlty do not understand it.

Tell your wife that either her mother leaves or you will file for divorce. 

I'm not a "cowboy". I'm someone who lived through something similiar. I know that until you start to stand up for yourself this nonsense will continue.

What you did today was the right thing to do. You told her your view point then went to someplace peaceful with your children. 

In the furture, any time your wife and/or MIL starts harassing you tell them to stop, say the work "STOP" firmly but do not yell. The tell them that you are taking the children to a room that is quiet until they stop talking to you that way.

It would be wise for you to have a VAR (voice activated recorder). This way if your wife and/or MIL calls the police you have evidence that you did nothing wrong.


When you go to the quiet room, lock the door. If your wife/MIL starts yelling or banging on the door just tell them that you will come out with the children only after they stop yelling and putting you down. Also ask that they stop banging on the door and upsetting the children. 

If they continue yelling, banging on the door call the police. You will have the recording of them being verbally abusive to play for the police.

This requires that you be very calm, do not yell. Just hold your ground.


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## whatslovegottodowithit? (Jan 6, 2013)

See, your MIL doesn't like it when you stand-up for yourself and leave the convo. when she goes looney...baby steps guy, keep it up, show them and tell them you won't tolerate being treated that way anymore.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> What you are going through is the same thing a verbally/emotionally abused woman goes through. Unfortunately you have both your wife and her mother.
> 
> Are you in counseling? There are places taht offer counseling to abused men. They are often the same places that offer it to abused women. They usually work on a sliding scale for fees.
> 
> ...


But the thing is, this is HIS HOUSE. He should NOT have to cower in a "quiet room" while being verbally lambasted by someone who does not belong there! The MIL has NO RIGHT to be in his house speaking to him this way, especially in front of the children, of all things! And his wife allowing this to happen to her family is TOTALLY in the wrong here, what glaring disrespect! 

Keep a VAR nearby at all times, then the next time the MIL lays into you, tell her that you want her OUT. If she wont go, then call the police and have her escorted out, that is not her home and she has no rights there. Seriously, look what this is doing to your kids! THEY are already starting to disrespect you as well, and just think how traumatizing this has to be for them!


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## azteca1986 (Mar 17, 2013)

mannpieces said:


> My daughter started have a hissy fit and repeating garbage that the MIL had said about me in front of her.


I mentioned in an earlier post that I feared what your daughter would be learning from your MIL. Now, you have your answer.

When are you going to do something about this?


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## carolinadreams (Nov 30, 2012)

You are getting treated like this because you accept it.
Your mother and law and you wife at least in her presensce are just hateful clucking hens.

My question for you is why do you think you deserve to be the the whipping and pecking boy for two hens?

They don't have super powers you can stop it anytime you want.


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## ubercoolpanda (Sep 11, 2012)

Dude. Why are you still with this woman?! 

Seriously. You're CLEARLY unhappy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

mannpieces said:


> BTW, it not just MY house, its my WIFE's house, legally and financially and that's why the MIL feels empowered.


If you come back, mann, have a look at what you posted. You are on the title/mortgage of the home. Your wife is on the title/mortgage of the home.

Where the FRICK does it say your MIL is legally on either of those documents????

Empowered my a$$! Get that old bat out of your life. If the wife decides to go with her, so be it.

At least you'll regain your cajones in the deal.

AND have one heckuva lot less aggravation and screaming to contend with!


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## Thinkitthrough (Sep 5, 2012)

Mannpieces: What is the point of making sure we all know how bad your life is when you have no intention of making things better. There is no dignity or nobility in what you are doing and given how your children are being destroyed the for the kids argument goes moot. You must decide that you are worthy of more respect than you are receiving so demand it do not ask or beg. Demand that the MIL leaves immediately, and if your Mrs. doesn't like it, she can leave too. You will need to make arrangements for your kids, and get some help for yourself. The option is that you curl up in a fetal position and suck it up till your family gives up on you.
If I seem harsh I am sorry. I was in the same spot as you and I took it for nearly five years. The I realized that I had to do something. I was sick for days, but when the moment came I stood my ground and kicked her out. It cost me more than I will admit, but I am stronger, healthier and happier for it.


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## Blonde (Jan 7, 2013)

*Re: Marriage on the Rocks....follow-up*



mannpieces said:


> I get trampled on. I get no love, warmth, affection, or even treatment as a human being. I get heartache, pain, stress and threats. My daughter is the only light in my life.
> 
> Thx again all.


I'd be careful about looking to your daughter to meet your adult male emotional needs. Bothers me that your 9 yo daughter is in this role of daddy's "defender" against mommy and grandma Your parents: Have you been a victim emotional incest? 

We live a healthy 2.5 hours away from the closest relative. Any option of moving?


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