# My husband is leaving me and I can't cope



## Heav85 (Apr 21, 2017)

I've been going through this for 3 weeks now. My husband has been having an emotional affair that has lead to hickies on her neck. But it all started with them being friends and riding into work together, 3rd shift factory work. And now they have a "special connection he and I never had". I know I haven't showed him the appreciation he deserves and the love, I am 16 weeks pregnant and we have a 4 year old So I'm kinda wore out alot. But I finally told him I couldn't take it anymore and he needed to leave. But I don't want him to leave. I want us to work out. But he is so blinded by her I can't get through to him anymore. He says it's too late for us. He is always very truthful with me to the point that it hurts so much to hear it. We've been married 4 years together 7. He plans on staying in his father's house until he gets outta jail in 2 months, yea I know. I do not believe a word this woman says about anything. She has a 9 year old daughter that never seems like is with her but oh she has custody, but the list goes on, not important. I believe she is using my pregnancy in her favor, telling me to my face she only cared about herself but telling him she worried about me and if I needed to get ahold of him at work I could message her. Nope that's not gonna happen. But I was hoping that me tellin him to leave would help him finally realize he's throwing away everything for something he's not sure of with a girl who's had a bad reputation since she was in high school. I'm miserable and need help or a reassuring word. He doesnt wabt to grt a divorce yet, he said he doesnt know why, just in case. We have a kid and one on the way so he wants to be around for all of that but it kills me. I want him away so he can have time to miss me. HELP


----------



## plomito (Apr 7, 2015)

He is in a fog right now. Anything you say or do it won't matter to him because in his mind she is the best thing ever. The sad thing is when he leaves and start tasting reality, he will start realizing what he left behind.

Isn't easy at the beginning. Trust me you will have bad days but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Have faith and focus in what really matters. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

I'm sorry you're for what you're going through. But I seriously doubt it's only an EA -- especially if she's got hickies on her neck. Much more likely they're already having sex. Most men wouldn't walk away from their family without knowing exactly what it is they're leaving for.


----------



## DEMI6 (Apr 12, 2017)

**** him!!!! I'm so sorry
It will HURT LIKE HELL

if yu need help I have lots of songs that can get you through..❤

He is not the one for you..its sad but it's reality
Even if he wants yu back & will never do it again.. **** HIM & HIS *****

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-J320AZ using Tapatalk


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

He does not want a divorce...does not know why?
Uh, he does not want to pay alimony and child support, that is why.

Why do men do this crap to their pregnant wives?
Because the wives have all they can handle now, they are very vulnerable and more "helpless". They can get away with more crap.
Because the wives are not "available" for sex and they cannot wait for her to get better. This is not always true. Some wives will tide a man over with a hand job to keep him happy.

Good riddance. See a lawyer, make sure he pays the bills. If you are on his insurance plan, hold off on divorce. Should not be a problem...divorces have waiting periods.


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

I'm very sorry, but what you have is a lying cake eater. She has hickies but they didn't have sex? He wants to leave his wife but they didn't have sex? Lol, don't be naive.

Kicking him out was the exactly correct thing to do. It was strong.

Doing it so he will miss you? So you can get him back? That's just bad on so many levels. 

He is stringing you along so he doesn't have to pay for you or his kids. And so he has a safety net "plan b" so if her vagina doesn't work out, he can still get to borrow yours until the next vagina comes along.

Don't do this to yourself. Move on with your life and put this cheating child in your rear view. 

In a year when you've healed, you will understand why I advised you to do this.

You're in for a lot of pain. Make it as limited as possible by divorcing this "man".

He is a sickening excuse.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Heav85 said:


> I've been going through this for 3 weeks now. My husband has been having an emotional affair that has lead to hickies on her neck. But it all started with them being friends and riding into work together, 3rd shift factory work. And now they have a "special connection he and I never had". I know I haven't showed him the appreciation he deserves and the love, I am 16 weeks pregnant and we have a 4 year old So I'm kinda wore out alot. But I finally told him I couldn't take it anymore and he needed to leave. But I don't want him to leave. I want us to work out. But he is so blinded by her I can't get through to him anymore. He says it's too late for us. He is always very truthful with me to the point that it hurts so much to hear it. We've been married 4 years together 7. He plans on staying in his father's house until he gets outta jail in 2 months, yea I know. I do not believe a word this woman says about anything. She has a 9 year old daughter that never seems like is with her but oh she has custody, but the list goes on, not important. I believe she is using my pregnancy in her favor, telling me to my face she only cared about herself but telling him she worried about me and if I needed to get ahold of him at work I could message her. Nope that's not gonna happen. But I was hoping that me tellin him to leave would help him finally realize he's throwing away everything for something he's not sure of with a girl who's had a bad reputation since she was in high school. I'm miserable and need help or a reassuring word. He doesnt wabt to grt a divorce yet, he said he doesnt know why, just in case. We have a kid and one on the way so he wants to be around for all of that but it kills me. I want him away so he can have time to miss me. HELP


 @Heav85 So sorry you had to seek us out, but I am glad you found us.

You need to ensure you have medical help, tell your doctors what you are going through.

You also need legal advice to make sure you are fully aware of your legal rights.


----------



## DEMI6 (Apr 12, 2017)

Evinrude58 said:


> I'm very sorry, but what you have is a lying cake eater. She has hickies but they didn't have sex? He wants to leave his wife but they didn't have sex? Lol, don't be naive.
> 
> Kicking him out was the exactly correct thing to do. It was strong.
> 
> ...


💯💯💯💯

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-J320AZ using Tapatalk


----------



## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Heav85 said:


> I've been going through this for 3 weeks now. My husband has been having an emotional affair that has lead to hickies on her neck. But it all started with them being friends and riding into work together, 3rd shift factory work. And now they have a "special connection he and I never had". I know I haven't showed him the appreciation he deserves and the love, I am 16 weeks pregnant and we have a 4 year old So I'm kinda wore out alot. But I finally told him I couldn't take it anymore and he needed to leave. But I don't want him to leave. I want us to work out. But he is so blinded by her I can't get through to him anymore. He says it's too late for us. He is always very truthful with me to the point that it hurts so much to hear it. We've been married 4 years together 7. He plans on staying in his father's house until he gets outta jail in 2 months, yea I know. I do not believe a word this woman says about anything. She has a 9 year old daughter that never seems like is with her but oh she has custody, but the list goes on, not important. I believe she is using my pregnancy in her favor, telling me to my face she only cared about herself but telling him she worried about me and if I needed to get ahold of him at work I could message her. Nope that's not gonna happen. But I was hoping that me tellin him to leave would help him finally realize he's throwing away everything for something he's not sure of with a girl who's had a bad reputation since she was in high school. I'm miserable and need help or a reassuring word. He doesnt wabt to grt a divorce yet, he said he doesnt know why, just in case. We have a kid and one on the way so he wants to be around for all of that but it kills me. I want him away so he can have time to miss me. HELP


Sorry that you find yourself in this situation.

First his affair is physical at this point, don't kid yourself regarding this and don't believe he is or is going to give you the full story/truth. 

Second, the OW didn't coerce him, your husband is a grown man and knew what he was getting into, he made this decision, he must own it. 

Third, your looking at this wrong, he isn't the prize, you and your children are. Don't try and win him back, if he trys to come back he must earn the gift you may or may not give him in regards to reconciliation. You were correct in asking him to leave, don't let him come back. You should file for divorce and protect yourself and kids. 

Read up on the 180, it will be referenced on this site. Break off communication with him except in regards to the kids.


----------



## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

Do you have family close by?

You need their help. Your dad or your Mom. see your attorney and file.

tell his parents about his affair.

good you sent him out but he will wake up too late.

have your attorney serve him at work.

He will really regret this. She will cheat on him and he will realize some of your pain.

Sorry you are having this horrible experience.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

@Heav85

I agree with the others. The affair is a physical affair. Cheaters lie, they all lie. He's only telling you want he wants to. He's not going to tell you the entire truth. It does not fit his purpose to tell the truth.

He does not want a divorce for two reasons. One is that he likes the idea of having you on hold just in case his affair does not work out. You are his default fall back plan. And the other reason is that divorce means that he will have to pay you child support and some alimony at least until the divorce is finally, probably until some time after the baby is born if not longer.

You were right to kick him out. As long as he is carrying on an affair, does not tell you 100% of what has gone on in the affair, no longer works with her, and he agrees to do what is needed to repair the damage he has caused to your marriage.... he should not be allowed back into the house to live.

You need to put pressure on the affair. It might sound counter intuitive, but kicking him out puts pressure on the affair. The OW is now going to have to be responsible for meeting all of his emotional needs. That's not what she signed up for. She signed up for an affair, a situation where she is just playing around. Plus if you do this right, he will be paying you alimony and child support. So he's not going to have money to date. What's the fun in that for her?

Look for the link to the 180 in my signature block below and read it. That is how you need to be interacting with him for now... until he agrees to give up the affair and agrees to work his behind off to earn your trust and love back. 

Another thing that sounds counter intuitive is that you need to see a lawyer and file for divorce. File to have him pay you interim alimony and child support. Interim alimony is what is paid during the divorce. He has to maintain health insurance for you and the children too. And tell your attorney that you want the divorce process to last until after your baby is born. A divorce can take a long time. You need that to get through this pregnancy and back on your feet.

And remember that a divorce can be stopped at any time up the minute that the judge signed the final decree. And there is re-marriage after divorce. So filing for divorce does not really mean that you are giving up or that all is lost. The reason for filing is that you need to be absolutely sure that you and your children are financially taken care of. And by having divorce ordered child support and alimony, it puts pressure on his affair making it so that he has little to no money to spend on this low life he is having an affair with.

If you will share which state you live in, I could look up some things so that you can find out your rights in divorce for your state.


----------



## Heav85 (Apr 21, 2017)

Kentucky


----------



## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

:iagree::iagree:


EleGirl said:


> @Heav85
> 
> I agree with the others. The affair is a physical affair. Cheaters lie, they all lie. He's only telling you want he wants to. He's not going to tell you the entire truth. It does not fit his purpose to tell the truth.
> 
> ...


:iagree::iagree::iagree: with all Elle has posted.

YOu also need to expose this affair ASAP. Tell all family, friends, colleagues. Do not hide it, exposure will soon burst their bubble. Lean on your family and friends for support. Ensure you have one or two siblings or friends you can turn to.
Do not engage with him at all, use email for everything. Let him feel what it is like to have you out of his life, that is why the 180 is so important.
You may also need to get tested for STDs as he is defintiely sleeping with her.
Ensure your lawyer garnishes his wages or whatever the law allows to ensure you are financially secure.

Do not think of taking back this man. Any WH who treats his wife like this when pregnant is the lowest of the low. I know you are pregnant and going through alot, but find your inner strenght and be prepared for a battle. He will want to have his cake and eat it, don't be that option.


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

He doesn't want to divorce yet because a) he doesn't want to pay child support and b) he wants to keep you on the backburner just in case things don't work out with his new fling.

Oh, and hickies means sex.

Hell, an emotional affair with a co-worker means sex, hickies are just salt in the wound.

If she's married or has a boyfriend or fiancée, expose the affair to him.


----------



## commonsenseisn't (Aug 13, 2014)

Sorry you're going through this. The only consolation I can tell you is: you don't know it yet, but in the end you'll be glad you're rid of this guy. Truth.


----------



## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

First off I would not base my strategy on him missing you. Does not sound that he loves you at all, just the kids. The reason he does not want to divorce is because the courts come down hard on husbands that leave their wives while they are pregnant. They will give you as much as they can. So he is being smart to wait until after the baby is born before he accepts a divorce. On the other hand, if he divorces now because you kicked him out and are the one pressing for divorce, aside from child support you are not going to do as well in the divorce settlement as you otherwise could. You are the bad guy now for wanting the divorce.

As for his girlfriend, my wife's best friend's ex, took up with a woman who was actively committing welfare fraud and was an ex con. No one really knows why we are attracted to certain people and not others. Genetically we are programmed to be attracted to someone who appears to have a good gene pool but after so much time, that skill seems to have been distorted. Do not try to understand why he is with her rather than you. Love blinds you to your partner's flaws and makes you want to be with them as much as possible and listen to anything they say. You cannot fight that.

You seem to think he will all of a sudden love you again. Love is a chemical reaction is our brains that cannot be thought into or out of existence. If you do not believe that, pick someone and try to make yourself love them. You either do or don't. Coming back to you because he misses you is not love. It is a dependency on you and the wrong reason to stay married. Many guys will stay married and use their wives as a security blanket in case things go wrong with the new girlfriend. He can then come home and start looking for another girlfriend. You say so yourself that he wants to stay married just in case. 

Time to smell the coffee as they say. He views you as a security blanket in case he splits from his new girlfriend. You are hoping that he will miss you rather than love you again and are doing the worse thing you can do; kick out a husband while you are pregnant which will be twisted in court to show that you are attempting to keep him away from your new baby to bribe him to come back to you. You are in a really messed up situation and based on what you posted, you two should not be married.


----------



## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

The man is a loser. Make the decision for him and file for divorce. He isnt worth having and Im sure you can do WAY better.


----------



## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

Heav85 said:


> He plans on staying in his father's house until he gets outta jail in 2 months, yea I know.


I don't, can you clarify this statement with more specifics?



Heav85 said:


> He doesnt want to get a divorce yet, he said he doesnt know why, just in case.


Because he wants to use you as plan B. A back up plan in case him and the sloot he's banging break up.



Heav85 said:


> HELP


You don't need any help. He's already doing you a HUGE favor by leaving. This guy's a ****ing LOSER.


----------



## drifting on (Nov 22, 2013)

Heav85

If you want to save your marriage then prepare yourself to lose your marriage. File for divorce, list adultery and OW as cause. Have him served at work, notify his HR at work if you want him to possibly be unemployed. Talk to a lawyer, find out how much alimony and child support you may get if you divorce. Expose to his parents, your parents, and OW husband or boyfriend if applicable. Start the 180 hard.

Do nothing for him and all for your children. Do not allow him back after he leaves until he meets your conditions to continue the marriage. Filing for divorce can be stopped at any time by you. If he doesn't want to divorce yet it's likely because he has doubts the affair will work out. Don't give him this option, pull the plug now to make him see what he is destroying.

Oh, and by the way, hickies means physical and it's gone way farther then just that.


----------



## Heav85 (Apr 21, 2017)

BetrayedDad said:


> I don't, can you clarify this statement with more specifics?
> 
> His dad is in jail and gets out in 2 months. So he won't have a place to stay.
> 
> ...


----------



## Heav85 (Apr 21, 2017)

He has been gone for about 4 days. He's been here everyday though. To visit our daughter. He was here this morning for an hour to help get her ready for school. And hasn't been here since. He goes to work 3rd shift so if we see him it will be tomorrow. I honestly want him to stay away awhile. So I don't have to see the proof of their intimacy on his neck. And to give him a chance to miss his family. We cannot get divorced yet because I am pregnant and not due till October. So alot can happen.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Heav85 said:


> He has been gone for about 4 days. He's been here everyday though. To visit our daughter. He was here this morning for an hour to help get her ready for school. And hasn't been here since. He goes to work 3rd shift so if we see him it will be tomorrow. I honestly want him to stay away awhile. So I don't have to see the proof of their intimacy on his neck. And to give him a chance to miss his family. We cannot get divorced yet because I am pregnant and not due till October. So alot can happen.


Since he has moved out, you can tell him to stay away. He has no right to come to you house whenever he wants to.

Send him a text telling him to not come to your home anymore without making an appointment. If he comes over, tell him to leave. If he will not leave call 911. Let the police explain to him that he cannot just enter your home any time he wants.

Right now, you are making this easy for him. He can come and go as he pleases. He is not seeing how his actions are going to hurt his life.

Do you have the money for a lawyer? You need to file for divorce so that you can have a child custody agreement. That will help you keep him thinking he can come and go from your home and parade around this sickies and show you this disrespect.


----------



## Heav85 (Apr 21, 2017)

EleGirl said:


> Since he has moved out, you can tell him to stay away. He has no right to come to you house whenever he wants to.
> 
> Send him a text telling him to not come to your home anymore without making an appointment. If he comes over, tell him to leave. If he will not leave call 911. Let the police explain to him that he cannot just enter your home any time he wants.
> 
> ...


He has agreed to pay the house payment so I can't tell him not to come by. And he wants to have joint custody so I can't keep our daughter from him when he wants to see her. I don't wanna keep his kids from him. He done me ****ty but our daughter didn't ask for this so she needs as much normalcy as possible.


----------



## Hopefull363 (Feb 13, 2012)

He does not have the right to come to your home uninvited even if he does pay for it. You have the right to feel comfortable and safe especially while pregnant. Please do yourself a favor and have a consult with an attorney to find out what you're entitled to. You don't have to do anything but consult. Knowledge is key.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Heav85 said:


> He has agreed to pay the house payment so I can't tell him not to come by. And he wants to have joint custody so I can't keep our daughter from him when he wants to see her. I don't wanna keep his kids from him. He done me ****ty but our daughter didn't ask for this so she needs as much normalcy as possible.


He agreed to pay the house payment. 
Is he giving you money for food, utilities, etc.? Do you have a job?

If it’s a verbal agreement he can change his mind at any time and most likely will. If you file for divorce he will have no choice but to give you the money to pay the house payment, the utilities, etc. The point is that right now this is very easy for him. You need to do everything you can to make it very hard for him to continue what he is doing. I he has to hand you most of his paycheck every month, that will put pressure on him. And he has no choice but to give you the money.

I did not say anything about keeping his child from him. If you file for divorce, he will have her on the designated days. What happens is that he cannot just walk in and out of your house whenever he wants. Again, this is about putting pressure on him so that what he is doing right now is not as easy as it is at this time.

He has also done ****ty to his daughter. He walked out on her. Sure he comes by. But that will become something he does less and less.

If you are not willing to make it hard for him to abandon you and your daughter, then just accept his ****ty treatment. That’s where you are at right now. How’s that working out for you?

It sounds to me like you think that letting him do what he wants; letting him walk in and out of your home, is somehow going to give him time to come back to you. It’s not going to happen. I’ve seen thousands of cases like this. The only ones that recover are the ones where the abandoned spouse puts their foot down (often via filing for divorce). The other ones go on for months/years and end up hurting the children and the abandoned spouse for more.


----------



## Heav85 (Apr 21, 2017)

I'm afraid to do it.


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

I can tell you one thing from personal experience. You ar being advised correctly and fear will ruin you if you allow it. Be strong. See an attorney


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Heav85 said:


> I'm afraid to do it.


Why are you afraid to do it? What do you think will happen that is bad?


----------



## Heav85 (Apr 21, 2017)

EleGirl said:


> Why are you afraid to do it? What do you think will happen that is bad?


Idk. The thought of divorce scares me. But to hear him say some of the things he does breaks my heart. Divorce isn't gonna stop that.


----------



## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Heav85 said:


> Idk. The thought of divorce scares me. But to hear him say some of the things he does breaks my heart. Divorce isn't gonna stop that.


He has already broken your heart. Your allowing him to keep stomping on your heart. You need to file for divorce and start healing and protect yourself. He is banking on your fear to keep you in line so he can do whatever he pleases. You must make a stand and stop taking his abuse. Sooner or later he is going to stop giving the house payment, he will just get worse. File for divorce and get a legal document for money you are entitled to from him. When he doesn't pay then the state chases him and you don't have to deal with him.


----------



## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Heav85 said:


> I'm afraid to do it.


You should be more afraid of NOT doing it. You are in a SICK situation right now, and you are allowing him to control your life. No, divorce wont stop him from saying things, but it WILL remove you so you dont have to hear it. You can have it drawn up legally to where you have little to no contact with him. Right now he has no right letting himself into your home whenever he wants. That needs to stop. And any contact about anything other than the kids needs to stop as well. You are allowing him to use you and abuse you. He isnt entitled to that, you know, so put a stop to it. That nasty other woman can have him. Like I said before, make the decision for him. Honestly, its making the decision for YOU, because he already MADE his, and he chose HER. He just keeps you around to use. 

Many of us here have done it, and we survived, and are strong. You can do this.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

@Heav85

Do you have any family that lives near you? If so, do they know what is going on?


----------



## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Heav85 said:


> Idk. The thought of divorce scares me. But to hear him say some of the things he does breaks my heart. Divorce isn't gonna stop that.


Divorce is gonna stop his ****ty treatment of you because you do not have to see him, hear him or deal with him unless on designated handover of child days. Stop being a doormat, the advice you are getting is good, follow through. remember your children are watching, what life lessons are you giving them?


----------



## muiscq (Mar 19, 2013)

I have not read your whole post but I can see where its going. I'm a man that went through something like this, different but close enough... Most men don't go for a friend to end a marriage or relationship. There is more to this store and I know it. He is getting something from this friend that he is not getting at home. I'm not placing blame its just what it is. So if you want him back which I believe there is a part of him that wants to stay... which is what he loves about you. Find it.. The moment you start talking about get out I don't want you here; which is the altitude that might have caused this. Say what you feel not what you think. I read in the original post that you don't show him what he needs. SHOW HIM. 

Sit down and really do a self check on what it is. Find the root cause of the problem. AND ITS NOT THE OTHER FEMALE. there was a hole that she is feeling and he likes it. Communication is key and will always be key.. Look at what you said "get out but I want you to stay." what is that. 

I will say this and read over all of this post. So many people are saying leave him, money, tell family.. These are all the wrong things to do if you want to keep him. Everyone situation is different. I went through a divorce recently but only after 5 years of trying to make it work. The finial year was when I said forget it I'm done and went to find what I was missing.


----------



## Heav85 (Apr 21, 2017)

muiscq said:


> I have not read your whole post but I can see where its going. I'm a man that went through something like this, different but close enough... Most men don't go for a friend to end a marriage or relationship. There is more to this store and I know it. He is getting something from this friend that he is not getting at home. I'm not placing blame its just what it is. So if you want him back which I believe there is a part of him that wants to stay... which is what he loves about you. Find it.. The moment you start talking about get out I don't want you here; which is the altitude that might have caused this. Say what you feel not what you think. I read in the original post that you don't show him what he needs. SHOW HIM.
> 
> Sit down and really do a self check on what it is. Find the root cause of the problem. AND ITS NOT THE OTHER FEMALE. there was a hole that she is feeling and he likes it. Communication is key and will always be key.. Look at what you said "get out but I want you to stay." what is that.
> 
> I will say this and read over all of this post. So many people are saying leave him, money, tell family.. These are all the wrong things to do if you want to keep him. Everyone situation is different. I went through a divorce recently but only after 5 years of trying to make it work. The finial year was when I said forget it I'm done and went to find what I was missing.


I have fixed one of the problems. Keeping the house up. He sees it but still left. It's sex. He told me he is not single... he's married with a **** buddy. I told him.if he's still married he needs to be taking care of his wife sexually too. Idk what else to do but go to an attorney. We can't divorce cuz I'm pregnant. But we can go fiND out what to do.


----------



## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

Why does being pregnant stop you from divorcing? I don't understand.


----------



## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

muiscq said:


> I have not read your whole post but I can see where its going. I'm a man that went through something like this, different but close enough... Most men don't go for a friend to end a marriage or relationship. There is more to this store and I know it. He is getting something from this friend that he is not getting at home. I'm not placing blame its just what it is. So if you want him back which I believe there is a part of him that wants to stay... which is what he loves about you. Find it.. The moment you start talking about get out I don't want you here; which is the altitude that might have caused this. Say what you feel not what you think. I read in the original post that you don't show him what he needs. SHOW HIM.
> 
> Sit down and really do a self check on what it is. Find the root cause of the problem. AND ITS NOT THE OTHER FEMALE. there was a hole that she is feeling and he likes it. Communication is key and will always be key.. Look at what you said "get out but I want you to stay." what is that.
> 
> I will say this and read over all of this post. So many people are saying leave him, money, tell family.. These are all the wrong things to do if you want to keep him. Everyone situation is different. I went through a divorce recently but only after 5 years of trying to make it work. The finial year was when I said forget it I'm done and went to find what I was missing.


Respectfully disagree 100%. Sure she can keep him, but to what end? For him to continue to bang another woman while OP *****s herself out as his side piece? Divorcing him is the only way to live her life and keep her dignity and self respect in place.


----------



## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Satya said:


> Why does being pregnant stop you from divorcing? I don't understand.


I believe some states will not grant a divorce while the wife is pregnant...


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

You can't make anyone love you after the love is gone. Nothing you do will bring it back.

This is NOT your fault. The cheating spouse was missing something alright-- character. 

I have witnessed relationships where the spouse was "perfect". They were still cheated on. The cheater was actually a friend of my ex (my wife at the time). I noticed that every time I was around her-- like eating lunch with my wife she would go with us a time or two one sumer--- she always turned the conversation to sex. Would laugh and giggle and flirt with me right in front of my wife. I even remember asking my wife about it and she'd just say "that's just how she is", she doesn't mean anything by it. I told her I thought all that was inappropriate and made me uncomfortable....
Anyway, my then wife told me for years that he was such a good husband, always taking care of the kids, cleaning house, getting them ready for school, making sure she always had a new car to drive, taking her on trips, etc. Well, the cheating B divorced the guy. Never mentioned a reason, and abandoned her 3 kids (they live with him full time). 

My point: some people are just cheaters. They have low character. They do NOT place the same value on YOUR loyalty, your love, your character as you place on their's. Some people are just users. I place cheaters in that category-- users. Once the butterflies have worn off, they are off to the races for something else that they are "missing" from the relationship with you.

So OP, please ignore this utter Bullcrap about how you weren't satisfying the needs that he had from the relationship. If that was the case, he'd have come to you and told you what he wasn't getting that he needed. If he was hungry, would he say so? If he wanted sex from you, wouldn't he say so? If he wanted more quality time, wouldn't he say so? Of course he would.

You are in a serious bind right now. You are heartbroken. You are scared. Your self esteem is crushed, your confidence shattered. Your whole view of the world is shattered, and your future seems bleak--- nothing like you pictured your life as you worked toward all these years.

GOOD NEWS!!!!!!!! You CAN have a much BETTER life with a man who is not a cheater. With a man that values you for all your good qualities. You can't see it now, but you are being given a gift. Just think about people who spent 30 years with their spouse and they suddenly tell them evil things like "I never really loved you all these years", and they have already wasted their life with that person.

I know you are devastated. BUT, it will not be this bad forever. If you will find the strength to do the right thing and divorce this man (I think you know it has to happen), you will limit the amount of pain that you go through. If you give him the opportunity, he will cause you unlimited pain for years. You are not the first person that this has happened to. You can survive this and come out shining. DO THAT!

Get some support, here and from friends and relatives. You are being abused. Get help.


----------



## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

3Xnocharm said:


> I believe some states will not grant a divorce while the wife is pregnant...


Really? Wow, you learn something new every day. 

Thanks!


----------



## muiscq (Mar 19, 2013)

People listen and really listing to this. Have you meant anyone that is married that have not gone through something bad. I can speak from knowledge of my mom and dad, grandparents, sisters, friends that have been married for 20+, 30+, 40+ years. Everyone of them went through something like this.. cheating, gambling, lying, and a host of another things. You know why they are still married; because they worked it out. People today are so quick to call it quits. This is why I tried so hard to make my marriage work. So yes I understand that some people can not be helped and you should leave, but only and I mean only when you have come to the realization that you need to leave. not from what you can get or to my the other person hurt. You'll fall into the same circle of death next go around because you don't know what happened for it to end this way. So what if the person cheated, there is a reason why, but find out why. That is the most important thing you can learn from this. Only after that can you make a educated choice on what to do. 

example.... she leave and hooks ups with a man and fall in love again and you know what the same thing happens again. There is always "ALWAYS" 2 sides to a story. There a reason why men leave out of no where, and why women leave out of no where. but a person has to understand what it is before making a life changing decision. If more thought was put into the relationship in the forefront... maybe this would have never happened in the first place.

And just a little background on me. My ex wife was pregnant before we marred and we lost the child. and for years we tired. It wasn't until years into the marriage that she told me she cheated and caught a STD which cause the mischarge... this was the reason she couldn't have kids. I could have just walked away once she told me that but I stayed and worked on it for 5 years... Only then did I file for divorce which was last year. I'm not saying this to prove a point. People can be bad. But if I had walked away and not tried to understand I don't think I would be as happy with a son and GREAT female companion. I understand what I am not going back into again and what type of person I need to stay away from. What I expect from life now.. This took time for me but it could be faster for others or longer. But a person needs to understand why and actions at why but what is in a person mind, heart, and soul.


----------



## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

muiscq said:


> So what if the person cheated, there is a reason why, but find out why. .


Have you ever been cheated on? Cheaters cheat because they're cheaters, liars, and generally rotten humans.

Cheaters deserve nothing other than being thrown out the door with nothing but the shirt on their back.

There is ZERO hope of true reconciliation with someone who isn't remorseful.


----------



## muiscq (Mar 19, 2013)

yes I have.. I edited my post to explain


----------



## muiscq (Mar 19, 2013)

if you really want to know this is my post from 2013 read it I don't want to take away from this thread here but I understand all to well what going on here 

"Wife lied about past after years of marriage" search this title or my name and it should come up!


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Heav85 said:


> I have fixed one of the problems. Keeping the house up. He sees it but still left. It's sex. He told me he is not single... he's married with a **** buddy. I told him.if he's still married he needs to be taking care of his wife sexually too. Idk what else to do but go to an attorney. We can't divorce cuz I'm pregnant. But we can go fiND out what to do.


You can file for divorce while you are pregnant. Then you can ask the court to continue divorce until after your baby s born and some time for your to recuperate, etc.

The benefit of filing now, while pregnant, is that the court will order your husband to pay you spousal support and child support during the divorce process. Also it will establish custody with our children so that your husband cannot just come to your house as he wishes. He will see this child(ren) per a custody arrangement.


----------



## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

muiscq said:


> People listen and really listing to this. Have you meant anyone that is married that have not gone through something bad. I can speak from knowledge of my mom and dad, grandparents, sisters, friends that have been married for 20+, 30+, 40+ years. Everyone of them went through something like this.. cheating, gambling, lying, and a host of another things. You know why they are still married; because they worked it out. People today are so quick to call it quits. This is why I tried so hard to make my marriage work. So yes I understand that some people can not be helped and you should leave, but only and I mean only when you have come to the realization that you need to leave. not from what you can get or to my the other person hurt. You'll fall into the same circle of death next go around because you don't know what happened for it to end this way. So what if the person cheated, there is a reason why, but find out why. That is the most important thing you can learn from this. Only after that can you make a educated choice on what to do.
> 
> example.... she leave and hooks ups with a man and fall in love again and you know what the same thing happens again. There is always "ALWAYS" 2 sides to a story. There a reason why men leave out of no where, and why women leave out of no where. but a person has to understand what it is before making a life changing decision. If more thought was put into the relationship in the forefront... maybe this would have never happened in the first place.
> 
> And just a little background on me. My ex wife was pregnant before we marred and we lost the child. and for years we tired. It wasn't until years into the marriage that she told me she cheated and caught a STD which cause the mischarge... this was the reason she couldn't have kids. I could have just walked away once she told me that but I stayed and worked on it for 5 years... Only then did I file for divorce which was last year. I'm not saying this to prove a point. People can be bad. But if I had walked away and not tried to understand I don't think I would be as happy with a son and GREAT female companion. I understand what I am not going back into again and what type of person I need to stay away from. What I expect from life now.. This took time for me but it could be faster for others or longer. But a person needs to understand why and actions at why but what is in a person mind, heart, and soul.


I,m sorry but are you telling this poor OP to put up with her WH having a **** buddy while she stays at home and takes care of things? So you response is to put up and shut up and he'll come around. That is the worst possible advice you could give a person who is already down and being kicked by her POS WH while she is down. Time for her to find her self respect and kick this cheating SOB who has no respect for her or his own kid(s). He is scum, only men with no character would do this sort of thing to their pregnant wife. 

So the cheater is not responsible for their behavior (even a dog has better self control) it is the BW fault that he is wandering? Of course all marriages have problems, but the default position should not be to go and **** someone else!


----------



## muiscq (Mar 19, 2013)

That's not what i'm saying at all. read what is being typed. I am saying to find out why she wants to leave, not on a impulse or being angry.. You could live to regret it. And again there are always 2 sides to a story,, all you are hearing is that he cheated. 

Let me tell you this.. My father cheated on my mother and I didn't understand why.. According to what you are saying is that my mother should have left and such.. but that's not the whole story... this happened 17 years ago... now that I'm older my mother told me something that rocked my world this past year. That my oldest sister is not my fathers daughter. 

so again 17 years ago if I would have used your logic is to kick my father out my life because of something that 1 person told me. when it was half the truth.. 

Again she has to talk with him and be honest.. there is a difference between truth and honesty. people are so quick to hear something and make a life choice on half truths. there is a reason I believe she doesn't want to divorce... but she needs to make that choice after really thinking about it. and it can be expensive and time consuming. There' a reason he wants one as well. There is more history here then anyone of use knows and they both need to talk about it.


----------



## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

Heav85,
I am so sorry you are in this position. I just feel sick for you. Nothing justifies cheating, nothing.

I don't want to ad a block of text, but I want you to know that I have been around a while and some of these posters (that I know) are the kind of people I would point someone I care about to, and they all are saying about the same thing. It can be frightening, but you must take action, for you, for the situation, and for your children.

I really wish you well.
Take care.


----------



## Heav85 (Apr 21, 2017)

I understand and am taking everything into consideration. I am finding some bad things out about this girl. Not saying it's going to change anything. I am going to tell my husband at the appropriate time just for him to protect himself. He says he doesn't care about her past. He's got a horrible past of drugs stealing broken homes. And I stopped him right there and told him this home was not broken. He chose to break this home and only him. He agrees he is a horrible ****ty person for doing all of this. 
But this girls says she had breast cancer. I have a fairly reliable source who says she's been saying this for years and it's not true. But he says he saw the scars. So idk. But her dad has also went around saying has cancer and doesn't. So he's lying for her too or something. But I digress. 
I am doing my divorce research. Going to see how the next week goes between us because there are responsibilities we have this week.


----------



## CantBelieveThis (Feb 25, 2014)

What a POS for doing this to you while you are pregnant, ugh, wtf is wrong w people.....pleaese prepare to hit him with D papers if you hope he wakes up from the affair fog

Sent from my SM-G925V using Tapatalk


----------



## CantBelieveThis (Feb 25, 2014)

muiscq said:


> Everyone of them went through something like this.. cheating, gambling, lying, and a host of another things.


I get what you are saying, yes long marriages are very hard work, getting along with someone else bonded like that for years and years is an incredible feat to overcome, and ugly things will likely happen, HOWEVER, it is my belief infidelity betrayal is out on a class of its own like no other. Even thou am a BH in R, i really cannot say anything to anyone that is cheated on and decides to walk, is totally their right and choice and no one elses.


----------



## ButtPunch (Sep 17, 2014)

Heav85 said:


> I understand and am taking everything into consideration. I am finding some bad things out about this girl. Not saying it's going to change anything. I am going to tell my husband at the appropriate time just for him to protect himself. He says he doesn't care about her past. He's got a horrible past of drugs stealing broken homes. And I stopped him right there and told him this home was not broken. He chose to break this home and only him. He agrees he is a horrible ****ty person for doing all of this.
> But this girls says she had breast cancer. I have a fairly reliable source who says she's been saying this for years and it's not true. But he says he saw the scars. So idk. But her dad has also went around saying has cancer and doesn't. So he's lying for her too or something. But I digress.
> I am doing my divorce research. Going to see how the next week goes between us because there are responsibilities we have this week.


Do not tell your husband this. It will do you no good. He is in the fog. 

Listen to EleGirl. Your best chance at saving your marriage is to file for divorce immediately.


----------



## Heav85 (Apr 21, 2017)

So he came back for 2 weeks, but went right back to her. They are living with one of her friends until the house he is buying closes in 30 days. Meanwhile me now 6 month prego has to go on wellfare and am trying to get a low income apartment for me and our 2 daughters. Now does this seem fair? And today he wants to take me and my daughter to look at this house. Idk why unless he just wants me to see it dye to the fact someday our daughters will stay the night with him. It's gonna be rough.


----------



## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

Please consult with a lawyer. You have more rights than you realize.


----------



## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Heav85 said:


> So he came back for 2 weeks, but went right back to her. They are living with one of her friends until the house he is buying closes in 30 days. Meanwhile me now 6 month prego has to go on wellfare and am trying to get a low income apartment for me and our 2 daughters. Now does this seem fair? And today he wants to take me and my daughter to look at this house. Idk why unless he just wants me to see it dye to the fact someday our daughters will stay the night with him. It's gonna be rough.


You're still married to this completely worthless douche bag, aren't you? What's the piece of **** going to buy this supposed house _*with*_? Jail dollars he earned selling his 'services' in the showers? What a freakin' tool.

I had to laugh out LOUD that Father of the Year wants 'shared' custody. The low life just wants to avoid paying child support is all. What a POS.

I see you didn't listen to a single person here (not surprised) about what a complete LOSER this pile of crap is and instead allowed him back in the house - only to see his true colors once AGAIN when he ran off once more.

Do you finally believe who he *IS *since he's shown you for years and you kept refusing to BELIEVE it?

How typical of pig boy to put HIS burden on the taxpayers' backs getting you into low income housing and getting you on Welfare, instead of providing for the family he* deserted*. Are you finally going to go to a lawyer and hold this POS financially responsible for his kids?

Call one TODAY.

Since you'll say you can't afford one, what you CAN do is go down to your local family services office and start that child support order right now.


----------



## Heav85 (Apr 21, 2017)

*Husband left for girlfriend*

My husband left me for his co worker girlfriend. I am 6 months pregnant and we have a 4 year old lil girl. He tells me and everyone that I am a good person and did nothing to deserve any of this, but his heart just isn't here anymore. He is now living with her at her friends. My daughter and I have to be out by Aug 1 if not sooner. He's purchasing a home and the gf is gonna move in. I helped get the loan process started. And I have to go on wellfare and get a low income apartment. My daughter doesn't want to go from our house to an apartment while her daddy gets a house that mommy's not allowed to live in. The worst part is that everything we've worked toward, together is now going to this ***** while I have to struggle. But today he wants me to go with him and his grandfather to look over the house. I'm not sure why he wants me to look at it other than someday our daughters will stay with him and needs my approval. I just want him back. Idk what to do or how to behave.


----------



## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

*Re: Husband left for girlfriend*

lawyer up. take him to the cleaners.


----------



## Jamie296 (Apr 15, 2017)

*Re: Husband left for girlfriend*

Yea you need to get a lawyer and get some support started. It's ok for ppl to fall out of love and it does happen but he's in the middle of a new thing and that will soon fizzle out. That shiny new realationship will go dull in no time flat. 

Sent from my SM-N920P using Tapatalk


----------



## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Heav85 said:


> So he came back for 2 weeks, but went right back to her. They are living with one of her friends until the house he is buying closes in 30 days. Meanwhile me now 6 month prego has to go on wellfare and am trying to get a low income apartment for me and our 2 daughters. Now does this seem fair? And today he wants to take me and my daughter to look at this house. Idk why unless he just wants me to see it dye to the fact someday our daughters will stay the night with him. It's gonna be rough.


The man is a disgusting ass. DO NOT go see his house, he is just trying to be cruel. And while YES this is all unfair, you cannot sit and dwell on how unfair it is, you have to take action. Do you not have family nearby you can stay with? You need a lawyer NOW, and you make sure you take him for every penny you are entitled to. I hope you see him for what he is now.


----------



## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

*Re: Husband left for girlfriend*

Do not go with him to look at a house and do not ever verbally or in written form (text/email) support him buying a home or even acknowledge his buying a home. As a matter of fact I would inform him by a written statement that you are against him buying a home during the separation/divorce process. He is going to owe you child support and possibly spousal support, it's possible he's planning ahead and diverting income by buying a home, and doing such could affect what he is able to pay in support. And if he does it with your blessing you don't have any leverage.

Get a lawyer and stop him from any financial expenditures.


----------



## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

OP, get a lawyer and make him support you and your children. This isn't right. Even if he doesn't want to stay married he has no right to move on as if your family never existed. If he refuses than have him thrown in jail.


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

*Re: Husband left for girlfriend*

He is going to buy a house for himself and his Skank.

OK, let him.

Here come the BUTs for this BUTT head.

He is going to buy you child support for two lovely babies.

He 'may' be buying you alimony during his [honey moaney] period.

If he has money, it will need to be stretched far and wide to cover his little bony azz, his bimbo's plump [behind on moral payments] and on his OLD family.

Get a lawyer....right away. Get a credit card to pay for him/her. Forge his signature on the credit application, if necessary. Piss on this POS.


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Heav85 said:


> So he came back for 2 weeks, but went right back to her. They are living with one of her friends until the house he is buying closes in 30 days. Meanwhile me now 6 month prego has to go on wellfare and am trying to get a low income apartment for me and our 2 daughters. Now does this seem fair? And today he wants to take me and my daughter to look at this house. Idk why unless he just wants me to see it dye to the fact someday our daughters will stay the night with him. It's gonna be rough.


Go to United Way, they will help you. They might even have a lawyer who can help you. If he has enough money to buy a house, he has enough to adequately support you and HIS children. Lawyer. Today.

Have you told his family that he cheated on you?


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I merged your two threads. Only one thread per topic please.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Heav85 said:


> I have fixed one of the problems. Keeping the house up. He sees it but still left. It's sex. He told me he is not single... he's married with a **** buddy. I told him.if he's still married he needs to be taking care of his wife sexually too. Idk what else to do but go to an attorney. *We can't divorce cuz I'm pregnant.* But we can go fiND out what to do.


That is not quite right.

You can file for divorce while you are pregnant. But the court will keep the divorce in progress until you give birth.


_"Kentucky courts have the option of putting the brakes on a divorce case if one spouse is pregnant. The statute provides that if the wife is pregnant at the time the divorce petition is filed, the court "may continue the case until the pregnancy is terminated." A case that is continued is simply put on hold; no action can be taken on the case. According to the Legal Aid Network of Kentucky, courts require that the spouses wait until the child is born even if the father of the child is not a party to the marriage."

Can a Person in the State of Kentucky Get Divorced if Their Wife Is Pregnant? | LegalZoom Legal Info_​
That means that you can file and then maintain the things like spousal support, child support for any children you have right now, custody/visitation, etc. going until you give birth.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Heav85 said:


> I have fixed one of the problems. Keeping the house up. He sees it but still left. It's sex. He told me he is not single... he's married with a **** buddy. I told him.if he's still married he needs to be taking care of his wife sexually too. Idk what else to do but go to an attorney. We can't divorce cuz I'm pregnant. But we can go fiND out what to do.


Who is the 'we' in that sentence?


----------



## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

*Re: Husband left for girlfriend*



Heav85 said:


> My husband left me for his co worker girlfriend. I am 6 months pregnant and we have a 4 year old lil girl. He tells me and everyone that I am a good person and did nothing to deserve any of this, but his heart just isn't here anymore. He is now living with her at her friends. My daughter and I have to be out by Aug 1 if not sooner. He's purchasing a home and the gf is gonna move in. I helped get the loan process started. And I have to go on wellfare and get a low income apartment. My daughter doesn't want to go from our house to an apartment while her daddy gets a house that mommy's not allowed to live in. The worst part is that everything we've worked toward, together is now going to this ***** while I have to struggle. But today he wants me to go with him and his grandfather to look over the house. I'm not sure why he wants me to look at it other than someday our daughters will stay with him and needs my approval. I just want him back. Idk what to do or how to behave.


Time to take care of your children and make the a priority. Divorce his ass and make him pay.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

muiscq said:


> People listen and really listing to this. Have you meant anyone that is married that have not gone through something bad. I can speak from knowledge of my mom and dad, grandparents, sisters, friends that have been married for 20+, 30+, 40+ years. Everyone of them went through something like this.. cheating, gambling, lying, and a host of another things. You know why they are still married; because they worked it out. People today are so quick to call it quits. This is why I tried so hard to make my marriage work. So yes I understand that some people can not be helped and you should leave, but only and I mean only when you have come to the realization that you need to leave. not from what you can get or to my the other person hurt. You'll fall into the same circle of death next go around because you don't know what happened for it to end this way. So what if the person cheated, there is a reason why, but find out why. That is the most important thing you can learn from this. Only after that can you make a educated choice on what to do.
> 
> example.... she leave and hooks ups with a man and fall in love again and you know what the same thing happens again. There is always "ALWAYS" 2 sides to a story. There a reason why men leave out of no where, and why women leave out of no where. but a person has to understand what it is before making a life changing decision. If more thought was put into the relationship in the forefront... maybe this would have never happened in the first place.
> 
> And just a little background on me. My ex wife was pregnant before we marred and we lost the child. and for years we tired. It wasn't until years into the marriage that she told me she cheated and caught a STD which cause the mischarge... this was the reason she couldn't have kids. I could have just walked away once she told me that but I stayed and worked on it for 5 years... Only then did I file for divorce which was last year. I'm not saying this to prove a point. People can be bad. But if I had walked away and not tried to understand I don't think I would be as happy with a son and GREAT female companion. I understand what I am not going back into again and what type of person I need to stay away from. What I expect from life now.. This took time for me but it could be faster for others or longer. But a person needs to understand why and actions at why but what is in a person mind, heart, and soul.


You are right that people can repair a marriage even when there is infidelity. But it cannot be repaired as long as the cheating is going on. If her husband stops his affair and comes back remorseful, she can then consider reconciliation. But at this time, she has to protect herself She's in a very vulnerable situation.

You talk about your wife having had an affair. But you dealt with it long after that affair ended. You were not dealing with an ongoing affair being shoved in your face every day.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Satya said:


> Why does being pregnant stop you from divorcing? I don't understand.


Some states want a couple to remain married until the child is born so that the child is not born out of wedlock. This simplifies things like paternity. If they are still married, the husband's name automatically goes on the birth certificate.

I believe that in every state a person can file for divorce even if the woman is pregnant. But in some states, they divorce will only be finalized after the baby is born.

In Kentucky, a pregnant woman can get divorced. But either spouse has the option to ask that the divorce not be finalized until the baby is born. The OP is wrong that she cannot file for divorce right now.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Heav85 said:


> So he came back for 2 weeks, but went right back to her. They are living with one of her friends until the house he is buying closes in 30 days. Meanwhile me now 6 month prego has to go on wellfare and am trying to get a low income apartment for me and our 2 daughters. Now does this seem fair? And today he wants to take me and my daughter to look at this house. Idk why unless he just wants me to see it dye to the fact someday our daughters will stay the night with him. It's gonna be rough.


He moved back for 2 weeks? Have you been having sex with him? If so you need to get STD tested ASAP.

Why are you allowing yourself to be put in this position? He is still responsible for you and your children financially? Why haven't you field for divorce yet? Yes you can file for divorce in Kentucky even if you are pregnant.

And do not go with him to see the house... that's just crazy. Tell him NO.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

*Re: Husband left for girlfriend*



Heav85 said:


> My husband left me for his co worker girlfriend. I am 6 months pregnant and we have a 4 year old lil girl. He tells me and everyone that I am a good person and did nothing to deserve any of this, but his heart just isn't here anymore. He is now living with her at her friends. My daughter and I have to be out by Aug 1 if not sooner. He's purchasing a home and the gf is gonna move in. I helped get the loan process started. And I have to go on wellfare and get a low income apartment. My daughter doesn't want to go from our house to an apartment while her daddy gets a house that mommy's not allowed to live in. The worst part is that everything we've worked toward, together is now going to this ***** while I have to struggle. But today he wants me to go with him and his grandfather to look over the house. I'm not sure why he wants me to look at it other than someday our daughters will stay with him and needs my approval. I just want him back. Idk what to do or how to behave.


Why on earth did you help him with the loan process? That makes no sense at all.

How much money are is he putting down on the house? Do you realize that the house is 50% yours?

Again, do not go with him to see the house.


----------



## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

@Heav85, you REALLY need to get into some kind of counseling or family program or SOMEthing. PLEASE get on welfare ASAP and then get the help you need. What you need right now:

*1) GET A LAWYER. I don't care how, GET ONE.
2) See a dr and get STD tested. STAT
3) Get into some emergency counseling ASAP*

Until you do those three things you will continue to wallow in denial and self pity, and you and your children will suffer.


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

One person, one vote.

Gotta love it!


----------

