# Cheated on my husband, really needs advice



## Melsin (May 4, 2010)

My husband and I have been together for four years and have been married for almost two of them. I ended up having an affair for about three months, which is now broken off. He was gone for work for about six months and in that time me and one of my best friends got a little to close one night when we both had a little to much to drink, it started out as just a one time thing but it become something more. I know my husband suspects that I cheated on him with this guy, and he asked but I told him no. That was now two months ago. I feel like he deserves to know but our marriage is already on really shaky grounds and he always told me he would leave me if I ever cheated on him. On top of that we have a son and I dont want him hurt in all of this. Should I tell him anyways?


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## Crypsys (Apr 22, 2010)

IMO? Yes. Read through these boards and you will see what keeping a secret like this does to you and the marriage. Your spouse has the right to know what happened. How would you feel if the roles were reversed? Put yourself in their shoes.


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## LuckyCharmH (Jan 4, 2010)

he will find out eventually better to come out of you


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## mike1 (Jun 15, 2009)

If you are committed 110% to making the marriage work and staying faithful then no, you should not tell him. You take this to your grave because this would do no good whatsoever; it wouldn't make your relationship better, it wouldn't make him happy. In fact the only person it would serve would be you; it would be a selfish move to get the guilt off your chest. You can use this as an opportunity to be motivated to be the best wife you can. 

You said it yourself that he would leave you if you told him. So if you tell him your marriage is over for sure. If you don't and you're a model wife then maybe you have a good chance. I'm all for saving a marriage especially when kids are involved. If this was the only guy this ever happened with and you really love your husband and want to stay with him then don't tell him. But if that's not the case then you need to come clean and just break it off. 

I wanted to also add that this is why I've said many many times on this forum and elsewhere that men and women have no business being 'friends' with members of the opposite sex when they're married. It just creates possibilities like this to happen. No matter how good and pure your intentions are this isn't an uncommon outcome. Hopefully you've learned a lesson here and distance yourself from any other male friends.


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