# Marriage without sex



## Kodanda (Nov 15, 2020)

I am in a sexless marriage. I went alone to overseas some years back for work. The night before my travel, I requested my wife for sex which was deprived for long time then. She hesitantly agreed. I reached overseas. During that time I met my ex girl friend. I had sex once only once with my Ex. After few months my wife came to my place of work. My wife never initiated sex or agreed to my requests. Mean time I developed prostatitis. I told my wife I had met with my ex and now developed prostatitis probably due to my extramarital affair. My wife said to me that I myself have spoiled my own life. Why is my wife blaming me? Now also my wife is never intimate with me. 
In 2006 I got married. Somewhere in 2007 some unknown lady sent a fictitious email to my wife's sister ie my sister in law. In that email, this unknown lady had written that I was not earning good salary. My sister in law called me about this email. My wife says I had an affair with this unknown lady and blames me always. My wife told me she avoids sex with me due to this email and told me that I am a fool because I could not comprehend the reason she is avoiding me. Moreover my wife is physically and verbally abusive. Due to my children I am in this marriage.


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## hubbyintrubby (Jul 5, 2019)

She is blaming you because you are to blame for cheating on your wife. 

That is why.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

So this all happened years ago and she hasn't had sex with you since? Well, you're to blame for that. You cheated and probably haven't done anything to right your wrongs, seeing as you think it was no big deal. After all, it was "only once"  



Kodanda said:


> Moreover my wife is physically and verbally abusive.


If that's actually true, then leave. Your "marriage" is a trainwreck.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Your wife is angry with you because you committed adultery against her.

This is all your fault.

A)You stayed in a sexless marriage.
B)You had an affair during that sexless marriage.
C)You continue to stay in a sexless marriage.

You're unhappy. She's unhappy. Divorce her and set both of you free.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Dear *Kodanda;

Figure out what is important to you. It sounds like you feel your marriage is important to you or you would have divorced her long ago. Living with a man she can't trust to be faithful sounds like something your wife can live with on one level but not another, otherwise she would have divorced her.

You need to come up with a plan for your life and what you want. You need to understand that because of your actions you wife may not want the same things you do, ever.

Don't blame her and don't pretend to be the victim. You can't change her, only she can change herself.

If you want to try to save the marriage there are lots of things you will need to do to re-earn the trust of your wife and regain her love. It may actually be impossible to do, depending on her feelings. Which is why you might want to get some individual counseling to figure out what you need to change yourself and what you want out of life, then get some marriage counseling with your wife to figure out IF the two of you can salvage your marriage and what steps might bring the two of you together again.

Good luck.

P.S. Also spend some time with a good doctor who specializes in male medical problems. *


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