# Question about marital debt and reconciliation



## freckles18 (Sep 4, 2010)

Hi all,

I just have a quick question as I am at work right now. 

My H and I have been trying to reconcile our marriage for the last year. We have been separated for two years. I still live in marital home with the kids. He has not moved back in yet. 

Two years ago, when he moved out, he abandoned his financial obligations and I was left holding the bag of all marital debt. Since he said he wanted to reconcile a year ago, I have asked him to help pay the marital debt and he keeps saying, "Yes, we have to go through everything and figure it out", but I have yet to see a dime or sit down with him to crunch numbers although I keep asking him to. How long would you wait? I'm tired of hearing the empty promises he keeps making. However, he has paid all child support owing to the kids since he moved out.

I'm running out of patience with this man.

Thanks


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

Give him a specific date and time that this should be resolved. Like before February.


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## freckles18 (Sep 4, 2010)

I do need to get this resolved. Setting a due date is a good idea. I have doubts he'll adhere to it and then I'll have to make some tough decisions, I think. The stress I feel working and raising five kids is getting to be too much while shouldering all the debt that he should be helping maintain. 

On a side note: I just got home from work and saw four envelopes from his brand new employer in the mail. He doesn't even live here! I have to wonder why he gave them this address and not the one where he is living!!


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

He left the marital residence for an extended period of time. Abandonment or desertion could be the issue of law. As far as the debts go, this is where attorneys come in handy. Hubs may have to shell out some money to cover the debts you are paying. Then again, you may get stuck. Even if he is using his home as his mailing address, he does not physically reside with his family, which is why I brought up the above-mentioned possibilities. 

How many years have you two been married? Do you live in a community property or equity state? If you don't feel comfortable saying in which state you reside, that's fine, but where you live and how long you have been married factor into the equation.

Get an initial consultation with a family law attorney. He/she can give you the straight-up on what to do regarding the debt.


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## freckles18 (Sep 4, 2010)

Prodigal said:


> He left the marital residence for an extended period of time. Abandonment or desertion could be the issue of law. As far as the debts go, this is where attorneys come in handy. Hubs may have to shell out some money to cover the debts you are paying. Then again, you may get stuck. Even if he is using his home as his mailing address, he does not physically reside with his family, which is why I brought up the above-mentioned possibilities.
> 
> How many years have you two been married? Do you live in a community property or equity state? If you don't feel comfortable saying in which state you reside, that's fine, but where you live and how long you have been married factor into the equation.
> 
> Get an initial consultation with a family law attorney. He/she can give you the straight-up on what to do regarding the debt.


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## freckles18 (Sep 4, 2010)

freckles18 said:


> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I live in Alberta, Canada. We were married 10 years before separation. His lawyer advised him to cut all financial ties when he moved out. He tried to sell the house out from under the kids and I just two months after he left (long story). I didn't have alot of money when he left as I was a Sahm but hired a lawyer but couldn't afford to have him do much at the time. That's when H came back and said he wanted to work things out. That's where we left things from a legal perspective.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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