# Why am I so mean????



## Shell22 (Dec 9, 2008)

My whole life Ive let people walk all over me, treat me like ****, talk to me horribly. I was in an abusive relationship for 3 years.

Finally I met my husband and he was the most amazing person I had ever met. I had never had someone treat me so amazing. We got married in Sept 2008 and in October 2008 I found out that he cheated on me...it was one time. Some girl at the bar, ended up doing stuff with. He has balled his eyes out a number of times to me about how sorry he is, how he would never do this again and how much he loves me.

Ever since that day I have not been the same. I think about it at least once a month. Ever since then I hate myself,Ive let myself go, Ive distanced myself from my friends, Ive just become an over crabby and different person. I am soooo mean to my husband. I tell him he is an ******* at least once a week, I scream at him all the time, I break his stuff, I call him a cheater, I tell him he doesnt care about me. The list goes on and on...

I have so much anger for him built up inside of me, he isnt attractive to me, I don't enjoy having sex with him. But then I would be so lost without him.


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## Shell22 (Dec 9, 2008)

Please help me!!!!!


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## DrWife (May 20, 2011)

You need counseling, marital possibly and individual definitely. It's okay to feel the way you do, I have a history of being abused too and trusting people is SO hard for me, but we have to own our roles in our relationship dysfunction and we have to face WHY we are the way we are and WHAT we can do to change it. If you want you can start with self help books instead, but I would really talk to somebody about these deep seated issues, it helps immensely... And talk to your husband honestly about where this distrust stems in you, what he did was wrong, and only you can decide to forgive that or not, but a marriage is two people and you should own your part in it also and be willing to work on it.

There's no such thing as any perfect person and so many of us abused really do NOT know how to have a healthy relationship. That's not our fault but we can work on it, and things can get better


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

You trusted someone after being walked over your whole life and that person ended up cheating on you literally one month after you married. How does that make you mean? 
I would strongly suggest you get in to counseling for your anger and I would strongly suggest your husband gets counseling to figure out why it was okay to cheat. 1 month in does not bode well.


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## Shell22 (Dec 9, 2008)

I would love to have couples therapy but he wants no part in it. He says I don't need it and that if I need someone to talk to that I should just be able to talk to him. I think I will look into it for myself though. Thank you!!


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Shell22 - 

Anger feels good, doesn't it? Revenge feels great doesn't it? Let the rage flow over you like a shower and make the bastards pay. Make ALL the bastards pay. Let the hate fuel your days and nights. Beat this dog one time too many and now they'll regret they'll didn't young. I'll make him cry about not crying enough. I'll beat him till my arms are too tired to lift. 

Welcome to the world I used to live in. Is it dark yet? Sound familiar? 

Hon, you need help. You need a talented compassionate professional to help you overcome this and deal with it. It's far far deeper than the problems in your marriage. It goes all the way back and there's miles crap to wade through until you find that scared tormented angry child. You need to fix that and learn there's a mature woman in there worth love and respect.


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## Shell22 (Dec 9, 2008)

Runs Like Dog.

How did you get past it? Are you still married? It's been almost 3 years, we have a beautiful child together. errr


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## Shell22 (Dec 9, 2008)

Runs Like Dog.

How did you get past it? Are you still married? It's been almost 3 years, we have a beautiful child together. errr


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I spent years with a platoon of therapists and doctors. I separated from my parents and sister. I worked very hard to learn that the people who abused me were in the past and being off the charts angry was self destructive. I learned there's a hundred different flavors of hate and they're all the same.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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