# love languages



## hagandaas (Mar 19, 2013)

been struggling for a long time, married for 7 but been together for 17 years.
have read many books that have been recommended on this forum and have just read 5 love languages which puts me in a dilemma and the reason for this post.
from this book i can see that my love language is 'acts of service' and my h is 'physical touch'
this awareness allows me to see exactly where things are going wrong as during this difficult time my h has become overbearingly touchy feely, constantly touching, saying i love you, wanting to know where i am what i'm doing and i'm finding this extremely claustrophobic to the point that instead of helping our relationship its actually hindering.
me on the other hand seem to be constantly waiting for my h to show me my love language so to speak of 'acts of service', i would love us to do a project together, to paint together, DIY together, something in the garden or the home etc but to my h this is worse than hell, theses things are the last things he wants to do, he would rather just sit in front of the telly or on the computer.
so you see our problem....where do we go from here.....my h can't do the 'acts of service' and the way i feel about mu h i am finding it increasingly difficult to talk his love language also

stale mate i think

any help would be appreciated


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## Danielk (Feb 19, 2013)

Have you discussed your love language and your husbands love language with him?


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## bearlakegirl (Mar 26, 2013)

I have taken a seminar that was the 5 lanuages of love. In theory it just sounds amazing but I agree, if your love lanuage is your partners worst thought it makes it very difficult. Stick with it though..keep communicating and reminding each other how much this means to each of you. Good luck!


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## TOMTEFAR (Feb 23, 2013)

Just finnished that book myself and waiting for my W to finnish it.

One part of the book actually talks about a situation somewhat similar to yours. It's about a W that "hates" her H. She is really struggeling about showing him love through his love language. But she does it and for the first few months doesn't get anything back from her H. However, he slowly turns around and withing 6 months they have a very good M. 

Have a talk with your H about your love language and about his love language. This to make it absolutely cleare that he knows.

Then try showing him love. give it a few months. 

You might ask him to do things for you but then phrase them liek this:

I woudl realy feel loved if you would...
I would realy apreciate if you would...

Only ask him once. Don't pester or nag.

I asume it wont be easy for you but why not try? Hopefully he will come around and start doing things for you as well. Usually it takes one person in a M to start turning it around.

I hope my M will turn around as well. At least we are Reading the same book and plan on trying to implement it.


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