# What Toxic Male Traits Do You Have?



## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Guys...

What toxic male traits do you have? List them. 

Here is mine:

1) I am courteous to women because that is what I want to do, not because they deserve it just because they are female. 
2) I believe it is perfectly acceptable to use equal or greater physical force to defend myself against a physical assault from an angry, violent or irate female. 
3) I believe young boys today are being systematically programmed by public schools and by many adult women to believe that they are inferior to girls, and that they are bad and violent by nature just because they were born male. 
4) I believe it is perfectly acceptable for men to have their own fraternal clubs, organizations and activities that are exclusive to males without female infiltration or demands to be included. Men should have a safe zone where we can hang out with other men and just enjoy being dudes. 
5) I believe it was wrong and devastating when the Boy Scouts of America changed their charter to allow girls to participate as full fledged Boy Scouts. The BSA was the last safe haven for boys in our country. The BSA used to be a place where boys could be boys and learn all those horrible anti-female traits such as responsibility, hard work, courtesy, perseverance, diligence, survival, creativity, and benevolence. Not anymore it would seem. We couldn't even leave them that much. 
6) I like to fart loudly in the house. 
7) I like to go days without shaving sometimes. 
8) I like to hunt and kill wild animals with large caliber firearms. 
9) I like sex...with women. 
10) I like looking at women...and I can do that without objectifying them or thinking of them as all hos. 
11) I like opening doors for women, pulling out chairs for women, paying for dinner, buying them pretty things...because I like to do that. Not because women *deserve* those things just for being women. 
12) I believe marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman to live with and love each other exclusively for life, and that includes sexual exclusiveness. Monogamy. Any other kind of government sanctioned union is not "marriage" and should not be listed as such. There should be other names for different kinds of unions. 

There are more evil traits I have. Just haven't thought of them all yet.


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## Betrayedone (Jan 1, 2014)

Right on! I love it.........Count me in on all counts. I have never been and will never be PC. Just because there are groups of antagonists out there trying to shove some abhorrent behavior down our throat doesn't make that behavior acceptable. Kiss my ass.....I'm not buying it.


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

Well, I don't fart loudly or have sex with women (or desire to) but otherwise if this is the list of evil male traits then I guess I'm an evil male too. Who knew????


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Don't forget the most toxic male trait of them all......Manspreading!!!!


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## JukeboxHero (Mar 3, 2015)

Numb26 said:


> Don't forget the most toxic male trait of them all......Manspreading!!!!


No, I think the most Toxic trait would be "mansplaining".


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I don't even like the term. I am unapologetically male however.:smile2:


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

I don't think male traits are toxic.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

I love men being men. I don't care for the passive, modern version at all.

Having said that though, I've not been beaten or raped by a man, so if I had, I might think differently.

With number 4, I've never understood the need to force inclusion. We live in a free society where if one wants to have a woman's football team, then they can start one. Why the need to interfere?

Number 6...


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

Men are mostly sports fans so lets try this. Pen State, with Sandusky or Baylor rape culture. The cover ups. This is an example of what people are talking about. Has nothing to do with anything you listed. Why do you feel so attacked if you aren't doing anything? 

A lot of the problem is the screeching from both sides. This thread is a perfect example of screeching.


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

While I fart quite loudly, I will never outmatch my wife, whose particular range and timbre resembles a demented donkey braying. She has scared the cat several times.

As far as other male toxicity, I smoke really stinky stogies (although my wife and my son's GF raid my humidor, and smoke with me) and, I manspread. (Don't need to anymore because my gut no longer hangs, but force of habit)


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

What does this mean? :surprise:



Taxman said:


> I manspread.


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## CraigBesuden (Jun 20, 2019)

TheDudeLebowski said:


> Has nothing to do with anything you listed. Why do you feel so attacked if you aren't doing anything?
> 
> A lot of the problem is the screeching from both sides. This thread is a perfect example of screeching.


The problem is the term “toxic masculinity.” It can be interpreted as “manly behavior is toxic.” It is also typically not paired with any criticism of bad female behavior, such as “toxic femininity.” When do you see commercials or leftist media criticizing women and saying they need to stop their bad behavior?

Sure, some toxic behavior is traditionally associated with men. But it would be better to just refer to toxic behavior and include bad female behavior as well, such as denying fathers their court-ordered visitation or custody rights. And some behavior, like bullying, is done by both genders against the weaker or lower status people.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

CraigBesuden said:


> The problem is the term “toxic masculinity.” It can be interpreted as “manly behavior is toxic.”
> 
> It would be better to just refer to toxic behavior and include bad female behavior as well, such as denying fathers their court-ordered visitation or custody rights. And some behavior, like bullying, is done by both genders against the weaker or lower status people.


Yes. But think about it this way. These guys were covering for each other and turning a blind eye so it wouldn't hurt their football team. It was men doing it. For men's college football. It's not even a partisan thing. Creepy Joe Biden, nobody on the left has talked to him about how damn creepy he is, so they turn a blind eye too. How is Bill Clinton not a registered sex offender? How are both Clinton's not in jail? She covered up his BS too! 

Maybe it's a bad term because its too broad. When people say rape culture, that offends people too. What do you suppose we call this then? The Dallas Mavericks just went through this too! It's not isolated to anything in particular. How about that actress that was recruiting women for that sexual abuse cult. It's not all men, some women are every bit as part of the problem. Freaking ol boy that was just murdered to further cover up the pedophilia rings. Who's covering for these people? Who's pretending this is not an issue. It's like the left acting like there's no issue at all with illegal immigration. 

You tell me what we can call it where people will actually listen to what people are saying?


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

notmyjamie said:


> Well, I don't fart loudly or have sex with women (or desire to) but otherwise if this is the list of evil male traits then I guess I'm an evil male too. Who knew????


Hey everyone! Notmyjamie just came out!


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

I have never assumed toxic masculinity was about having male traits. I have understood it to mean the need to overcompensate those traits to be considered a man, and that anything short of those is considered "not man enough".

It's okay for a man to hunt, and fish, and watch sports, and get riled up while watching their favorite sports team but it's also a-okay to order a fruity drink, and watch (and enjoy) romantic comedies, and dance ballet. 

This is a great video illustrating my thoughts on the matter. This guy does a great job of explaining it.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

You had me till romantic comedy LOL



Lila said:


> I have never assumed toxic masculinity was about having male traits. I have understood it to mean the need to overcompensate those traits to be considered a man, and that anything short of those is considered "not man enough".
> 
> It's okay for a man to hunt, and fish, and watch sports, and get riled up while watching their favorite sports team but it's also a-okay to order a fruity drink, and watch (and enjoy) romantic comedies, and dance ballet.
> 
> This is a great video illustrating my thoughts on the matter. This guy does a great job of explaining it.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Lila said:


> It's okay for a man to hunt, and fish, and watch sports, and get riled up while watching their favorite sports team but it's also a-okay to order a fruity drink, and watch (and enjoy) romantic comedies, and *dance ballet. *
> https://youtu.be/UwI2U27UlGU


:|


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

Another thing. Maybe the left should stop making people like Amy Schumer or those insufferable women on the view their spokes persons.


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

bandit.45 said:


> Hey everyone! Notmyjamie just came out!


I decided I just couldn't live in the closet anymore. It's just not healthy. 

I've often been told I think more like a man than a woman so I guess it makes sense. I hate shopping, I own 1 pair of shoes, and I hate purses too. I really am a man. :surprise:


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

But the makeup song *is* really funny! 



TheDudeLebowski said:


> Another thing. Maybe the left should stop making people like *Amy Schumer* or those insufferable women on the view their spokes persons.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Numb26 said:


> You had me till romantic comedy LOL





bandit.45 said:


> :|


What is so wrong about romantic comedies or ballet?


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

minimalME said:


> But the makeup song *is* really funny!


Yeah, let her stay a comedian. 

Hillary Clinton gives a speech on rape culture and the left sits in the crowd cheering and clapping. None of them have stopped to think she isn't allowed to give that message? None of them said "hey! YOU dont get to speak on this!" Because she is "on their side" 

Those trying to put the message out really need to examine the messages you are sending others and how it is perceived with BS like that.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

You know, I'm trying to think on ways I contribute to toxic masculinity myself but not easily coming up with anything. 

I'm sure I'm not just thinking this through. Or I am. Who knows.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

minimalME said:


> What does this mean? :surprise:



When a man sits in a way as to not to make scrambled eggs out of his nuts and puts his mangina on display (and some women secretly like it).


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

TheDudeLebowski said:


> Yes. But think about it this way. These guys were covering for each other and turning a blind eye so it wouldn't hurt their football team. It was men doing it. For men's college football. It's not even a partisan thing. Creepy Joe Biden, nobody on the left has talked to him about how damn creepy he is, so they turn a blind eye too. How is Bill Clinton not a registered sex offender? How are both Clinton's not in jail? She covered up his BS too!
> 
> Maybe it's a bad term because its too broad. When people say rape culture, that offends people too. What do you suppose we call this then? The Dallas Mavericks just went through this too! It's not isolated to anything in particular. How about that actress that was recruiting women for that sexual abuse cult. It's not all men, some women are every bit as part of the problem. Freaking ol boy that was just murdered to further cover up the pedophilia rings. Who's covering for these people? Who's pretending this is not an issue. It's like the left acting like there's no issue at all with illegal immigration.
> 
> You tell me what we can call it where people will actually listen to what people are saying?


You are totally right that it's not just men...how many women have been right by some disgusting rapist/pedophile's side helping him procure young boys/girls for their enjoyment? The fact is that toxic behavior can be done by men and women, and to single one sex out it just not accurate or fair. But lately, men seem to be fair ground for all kinds of horrible labels. 

But, it seems like people just feel the need to label everything whether that label fits or not. I joined a divorced women's group on Facebook. According to these women, EVERY single husband of the women in that group of thousands is a narcissist!! Every single one. None of them are just your garden variety selfish *******, they are ALL narcissists. It makes me crazy. Some guy sent his ex-wife a small rant(which she posted) because she was feeding the kids nothing but processed foods all damn day. He requested that she start adding in some fresh fruits and vegetables and homemade foods to their diets as they were starting to gain weight. Well, of course he's a narcissist...simply because he's a man. It's ridiculous. 

Men just can't seem to win...display male traits and you're a narcissistic *******...show your softer side and you're a wimp.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

Huh. Who knew? Sounds gross. 




InMyPrime said:


> When a man sits in a way as to not to make scrambled eggs out of his nuts and puts his mangina on display (and some women secretly like it).


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Lila said:


> I have never assumed toxic masculinity was about having male traits. I have understood it to mean the need to overcompensate those traits to be considered a man, and that anything short of those is considered "not man enough".



But ‘overcompensating those traits’ still implies male traits and that those male traits are somehow ‘toxic’ (when magnified). One very easy way not to confuse male traits with toxic masculinity is to simply leave out ‘masculinity’ out of it...and use proper terminology that is perhaps more gender neutral? Such as ‘piece of ****’ and such...Although this might denigrade human waste...



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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

I completely agree. 

It's always easier to be a victim than to take responsibility. 



notmyjamie said:


> But, it seems like people just feel the need to label everything whether that label fits or not. I joined a divorced women's group on Facebook. According to these women, EVERY single husband of the women in that group of thousands is a narcissist!! Every single one. None of them are just your garden variety selfish *******, they are ALL narcissists. It makes me crazy. Some guy sent his ex-wife a small rant(which she posted) because she was feeding the kids nothing but processed foods all damn day. He requested that she start adding in some fresh fruits and vegetables and homemade foods to their diets as they were starting to gain weight. Well, of course he's a narcissist...simply because he's a man. *It's ridiculous.*


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## CraigBesuden (Jun 20, 2019)

My wife says that I “mansplain” sometimes, but she admits that she does it, too.

I love rom coms, MTV reality shows like Teen Mom, drink fruity drinks, love serving charcuterie, do the cooking, cleaning, drive kids to school, etc. Though I do love the NFL and own an Xbox One. (Though I seldom play it, don’t like FPS’s, and prefer RPGs and puzzle games.)

My wife makes far more money than I do, loves beat ‘em up action movies, admits that she has more male traits than female, etc. But she does like to bake.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

I actually enjoy the ballet but romantic comedies? No and I'll tell you why. Romantic comedies are to women what porn is to men. Both give the person who watches them unrealistic expectations on what should happen in a relationship 



Lila said:


> Numb26 said:
> 
> 
> > You had me till romantic comedy LOL
> ...


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

notmyjamie said:


> You are totally right that it's not just men...how many women have been right by some disgusting rapist/pedophile's side helping him procure young boys/girls for their enjoyment? The fact is that toxic behavior can be done by men and women, and to single one sex out it just not accurate or fair. But lately, men seem to be fair ground for all kinds of horrible labels.
> 
> But, it seems like people just feel the need to label everything whether that label fits or not. I joined a divorced women's group on Facebook. According to these women, EVERY single husband of the women in that group of thousands is a narcissist!! Every single one. None of them are just your garden variety selfish *******, they are ALL narcissists. It makes me crazy. Some guy sent his ex-wife a small rant(which she posted) because she was feeding the kids nothing but processed foods all damn day. He requested that she start adding in some fresh fruits and vegetables and homemade foods to their diets as they were starting to gain weight. Well, of course he's a narcissist...simply because he's a man. It's ridiculous.
> 
> Men just can't seem to win...display male traits and you're a narcissistic *******...show your softer side and you're a wimp.


We are LETTING them divide us! Look at what is happening right now. People on the right are saying "look at all the human trafficking and pedophilia rings being busted up by Trump" and the left hears Trump and lose their minds! The left says "rape culture is rampant" and the right loses their minds. Why? We are all doing this together guys! **** those people in Washington. We are popping this sick ****s left and right together. We are letting them divide us. This train is rolling and it's not stopping and we are all part of what is keeping it moving. Left and right and center. All they want is your vote. They dont give a flying **** about us beyond that. Its US, we the people, who are shoveling the coal into the fire. This train isn't stopping. The pedophiles and human traffickers are the ones on the run. Many of them, probably running in 2020. Trying to divide us on this. Wont work. We might be divided by words but not by actions. This train is moving and these sick ****s are going down left and right. That's all they have left is to try and stop this train barreling down on them by creating division. That's all they got. Wont work and they know it!


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

notmyjamie said:


> I decided I just couldn't live in the closet anymore. It's just not healthy.
> 
> I've often been told I think more like a man than a woman so I guess it makes sense. I hate shopping, I own 1 pair of shoes, and I hate purses too. I really am a man. :surprise:


Knowing your situation, I literally LOLed reading this. Does this mean you guys will be getting back together?


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

I don't really ever find myself drawn into division. 

I have my own thoughts on things, and they're usually not popular opinion.

Technically, I'm libertarian, but I agree/disagree with all sides at some point and usually just look at the issue - not the party. 

And I don't particularly trust any politician.




TheDudeLebowski said:


> We are LETTING them divide us!


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

notmyjamie said:


> You are totally right that it's not just men...how many women have been right by some disgusting rapist/pedophile's side helping him procure young boys/girls for their enjoyment? The fact is that toxic behavior can be done by men and women, and to single one sex out it just not accurate or fair. But lately, men seem to be fair ground for all kinds of horrible labels.
> 
> But, it seems like people just feel the need to label everything whether that label fits or not. I joined a divorced women's group on Facebook. According to these women, EVERY single husband of the women in that group of thousands is a narcissist!! Every single one. None of them are just your garden variety selfish *******, they are ALL narcissists. It makes me crazy. Some guy sent his ex-wife a small rant(which she posted) because she was feeding the kids nothing but processed foods all damn day. He requested that she start adding in some fresh fruits and vegetables and homemade foods to their diets as they were starting to gain weight. Well, of course he's a narcissist...simply because he's a man. It's ridiculous.
> 
> Men just can't seem to win...display male traits and you're a narcissistic *******...show your softer side and you're a wimp.


Look, coming from someone who had dealt with a massive inferiority complex and zero self worth. We cant let that s**t play on our insecurities. We have to be better as men. If we aren't doing anything wrong, why are we allowing empty words like this effect us? That's on US as men!


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

wilson said:


> Knowing your situation, I literally LOLed reading this. Does this mean you guys will be getting back together?


Um...in a word, no. I may be more like a man in many ways, but I still like **** and I don't want to be with someone else who does too. >


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

notmyjamie said:


> Um...in a word, no. I may be more like a man in many ways, but I still like **** and I don't want to be with someone else who does too. >



Unless it’s the same **** you are liking? Or is that bit gay too? I could never figure..


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

InMyPrime said:


> Unless it’s the same **** you are liking? Or is that bit gay too? I could never figure..
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


LOL...That would definitely be too gay for me, not gonna lie. So let me rephrase...I like being with STRAIGHT men. 

I was watching The Hangover with the guy I'm dating recently and I expressed surprise that Heather Graham showed her boobs in the movie as I didn't think she did nude scenes. He said he's seen her boobs twice before and named both movies with a big grin on his face. My reply "I find that answer oddly comforting" :grin2:


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

Huh, and here I thought that toxic male traits, or really toxic traits for a man or a woman would be things that hurt others or put them down. Not the fact that one likes to have sex (isn’t that a part of bonding within a relationship?), or that they like to be courteous to the opposite sex. I think I’m just really confused!
@Taxman, I’m with your wife, and have scared my dogs on occasion! But, I hardly think of farting as being toxic behaviour. The fumes may be, however…


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

Manspreading, when a male sits down, especially on public transit, and sits with his legs apart. Wide apart.

Ursula, I find it weird sometimes, speaking with other married couples, and a good percent never fart in front of one another, for that matter, we are alone with one another, and have carried on conversations in the bathroom while the other is conducting business in there.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

notmyjamie said:


> LOL...That would definitely be too gay for me, not gonna lie. So let me rephrase...I like being with STRAIGHT men.
> 
> 
> 
> I was watching The Hangover with the guy I'm dating recently and I expressed surprise that Heather Graham showed her boobs in the movie as I didn't think she did nude scenes. He said he's seen her boobs twice before and named both movies with a big grin on his face. My reply "I find that answer oddly comforting" :grin2:



Heather Graham is the one that had the sex change, no? Can’t keep up with those celebrities anymore...Either way, good progress, well done!  


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Taxman said:


> Manspreading, when a male sits down, especially on public transit, and sits with his legs apart. Wide apart.
> 
> Ursula, I find it weird sometimes, speaking with other married couples, and a good percent never fart in front of one another, for that matter, we are alone with one another, and have carried on conversations in the bathroom while the other is conducting business in there.



I have never farted in front of wife...I can’t get myself to. I think it is one of the items on her bucket list “make husband fart”. (I feed those beans quietly to the cat...who can’t stop farting, poor thing).


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

I find it fascinating that you guys can control it. I always thought it just happened.


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

InMyPrime said:


> Heather Graham is the one that had the sex change, no? Can’t keep up with those celebrities anymore...Either way, good progress, well done!
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


I don't believe she has...she was in Austin Powers and Boogie Nights. Pretty blond.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

minimalME said:


> I find it fascinating that you guys can control it. I always thought it just happened.



Huh? Women can’t? 
Well that’s what Male Kegel exercises are supposed to be good for; keeping it strong, nice and tight, ‘like a man’s anus’ (in Borat’s words).


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

Taxman said:


> Manspreading, when a male sits down, especially on public transit, and sits with his legs apart. Wide apart.


Ah yes, I used to take a city bus to work when I worked in our downtown core, and some of the men would sit so spread eagle that I could only get one cheek on the seat. Seriously, they can’t be THAT big to need that much space. I had to ask more than once for a little extra room to not fall off the seat. Sometimes it was just easier to stand!

On a side note: years ago, I worked at a drugstore as a supervisor. It was a really slow store, and this happened towards the end of my late night shift. Dude around my age came into the store with a little bag (obviously a refund, whoo hoo, something to do!). So, he swaggered up to my till, took an open box of condoms out of the little bag, and said, “I’d like to return these. They’re too small.” I should note that at this time, I was fresh out of college and was 100% virginal; I hadn’t even kissed a guy at this point yet. So, I was embarrassed, and have no idea how the hell he kept a straight face through it all. I sent him back to talk to the pharmacist who returned his box of too-small condoms. :grin2:


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Ursula said:


> On a side note: years ago, I worked at a drugstore as a supervisor. It was a really slow store, and this happened towards the end of my late night shift. Dude around my age came into the store with a little bag (obviously a refund, whoo hoo, something to do!). So, he swaggered up to my till, took an open box of condoms out of the little bag, and said, “I’d like to return these. They’re too small.” I should note that at this time, I was fresh out of college and was 100% virginal; I hadn’t even kissed a guy at this point yet. So, I was embarrassed, and have no idea how the hell he kept a straight face through it all. I sent him back to talk to the pharmacist who returned his box of too-small condoms. :grin2:



Ha, it reminds me....my wife once sent me to buy balloons for kids birthday party. Unfortunately they ran out and I came back with a pack of magnum, ripped durex condoms instead, blew them up myself and even painted them different colours, for extra pleasure. They lasted all night! (The balloons). And I don’t think anyone noticed!  sometimes you have to be inventive.



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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

minimalME said:


> I find it fascinating that you guys can control it. I always thought it just happened.


I control it in front of the man I'm dating. Don't want to scare the poor guy! I'm sure he does the same around me though, and there will come a day....


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

You guys have superpowers. I've tried and just can't do it. 



Ursula said:


> I control it in front of the man I'm dating. Don't want to scare the poor guy! I'm sure he does the same around me though, and there will come a day....


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

minimalME said:


> You guys have superpowers. I've tried and just can't do it.


One of our family mottos is "be proud fart loud."


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

minimalME said:


> I completely agree.
> 
> It's always easier to be a victim than to take responsibility.


Because we live in a victim culture.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Ursula said:


> I control it in front of the man I'm dating. Don't want to scare the poor guy! I'm sure he does the same around me though, and there will come a day....


I wont be with a woman doesn't appreciate a good fart joke.


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

bandit.45 said:


> I wont be with a woman doesn't appreciate a good fart joke.


A good fart joke is one thing...but beware the sharts though...never trust a fart. just sayin' >


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Taxman said:


> Manspreading, when a male sits down, especially on public transit, and sits with his legs apart. Wide apart.
> 
> Ursula, I find it weird sometimes, speaking with other married couples, and a good percent never fart in front of one another, for that matter, we are alone with one another, and have carried on conversations in the bathroom while the other is conducting business in there.


Mrs. C puts me solidly to shame breaking wind.

It took years for me to be able to make a decent sound level even and then she just laughed at my pathetic attempt!

I'm doing better these days but I still can't hold a candle to, or light one for that matter like Mrs. Conan.>


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

ConanHub said:


> Mrs. C puts me solidly to shame breaking wind.
> 
> It took years for me to be able to make a decent sound level even and then she just laughed at my pathetic attempt!
> 
> I'm doing better these days but I still can't hold a candle to, or light one for that matter like Mrs. Conan.<a href="http://talkaboutmarriage.com/images/TAMarriage_2015/smilies/tango_face_devil.png" border="0" alt="" title="Devil" ></a>


I was right there with you, sometimes laying in bed with the X it felt like a car lighter on my thigh


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

I don’t get why this is so hard to understand and leaves so many guys so butt hurt about it.

Masculinity is good. Just like I love the fact that my wife enjoys being a woman, she enjoys me being male.

It becomes toxic when it becomes harmful to someone. 

Teaching a boy to be strong is good. Teaching him that boys don’t cry or show their emotions is bad.

Teaching a boy to value women is good. Teaching him that women are objects to be eternally pursued is bad.

Teaching a boy to learn how to provide for himself and his family is good. Teaching him that cooking, cleaning, or looking after children is women’s work is bad.

Etc.

This isn’t a difficult concept to understand.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Marduk said:


> I don’t get why this is so hard to understand and leaves so many guys so butt hurt about it.
> 
> Masculinity is good. Just like I love the fact that my wife enjoys being a woman, she enjoys me being male.
> 
> ...


I just wish the term toxic masculinity wasn’t what became the term for this. The term itself is too polarizing and insulting to good men, to the point that they cannot even contemplate it because it does seem to them that all masculinity falls under the toxic heading. I feel the same about the term rape culture.

I feel that if different terms had been used, more understanding and conversation could happen.

I asked what good men call bad men and Fozzy said *******s. (The prohibited word for butt hole). I think ******* culture is more understandable but still would not quite point to the same meaning.

When men see a man who they instinctively do not trust and would not let their wife, daughter or sister near him, what is that quality you are seeing? How can we describe it so other men understand, since every man does understand it when they see it.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Marduk said:


> I don’t get why this is so hard to understand and leaves so many guys so butt hurt about it.



Not butt hurt but I don’t believe this term accurately describes the actual issue. Moreover the term has unfortunately been hijacked by radical feminists and carries a lot of baggage nowadays.
(Eg: that every man is a rapist in waiting, he just doesn’t know it yet. This is how it is perceived and used. I’m sure you would also agree that this is not true.)

I agree there are certain crimes that tend to be more associated with male perpetrators. But this is very different from calling out ‘toxic masculinity’.

Just look at some of the policies that are resulting from such terms being used: when there are ‘scientific’ papers recommending to ‘slap the boyishness out of the boys’ and re-socialise them, to something more acceptable, then you can surely see why this term can be problematic.



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## .339971 (Sep 12, 2019)

Only one, and that's is I just don't trust women easily. No sexism intended, but I have my reasons. Would I be considered evil if I scratched my head and thought of more?


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