# A question for the men!



## ladyybyrd (Jan 4, 2011)

I was thinking and wondering if men can be sexually intimidated by a woman?


----------



## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Yes, I think men can absolutely be sexually intimidated by a woman, particularly if he knows she is more experienced or aggressive than he is.


----------



## Draguna (Jan 13, 2011)

ladyybyrd said:


> I was thinking and wondering if men can be sexually intimidated by a woman?


Definitely possible. Especially when you are not super in the mood and an agressive woman jumps on you.


----------



## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Yes - absolutely. 

Especially if she has a whip. 

Or is in her late 30s with hormones going through the roof.


----------



## surfergirl (Jan 27, 2011)

nice777guy said:


> Yes - absolutely.
> 
> Especially if she has a whip.
> 
> Or is in her late 30s with hormones going through the roof.



LOL....I can sooo relate to that!

Ahhhh those were the days......


----------



## lucky_guy (Jan 23, 2011)

ladyybyrd said:


> I was thinking and wondering if men can be sexually intimidated by a woman?


Absolutely - and any resulting performance anxiety will just make things worse, adding to the problem in the future.

Love the comment about the whip


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Draguna said:


> Definitely possible. Especially when you are not super in the mood and an agressive woman jumps on you.


This described me for a time- with those raging hormones. Ha ha I just asked my husband if I ever "sexually intimidated" him - especially back then, he says NO. I kept trying to dig a little deeper but he doesn't feel I ever intimidated him. He kept saying he never thought he had a problem. 

I did cause him some Performance Anxiety for a time -which we worked through, but he never pushed me away, never. I never felt like he was trying to avoid me or get away. He encouraged my every whim. I learned how to build him up in such a way , even during the act (creative flirting maybe) to help him get his mind off of "his other head" many of nights. 

And of coarse some Viagra was also a blessing -if his drive was just not up to par, after a long days work.


----------



## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

ladyybyrd said:


> I was thinking and wondering if men can be sexually intimidated by a woman?


Can you give more context?


----------



## Hardrocker03 (Feb 15, 2011)

Yes, I dated a biter once. Ouch!!! We only had sex once more after the first biting incident then that was it.


----------



## less_disgruntled (Oct 16, 2010)

ladyybyrd said:


> I was thinking and wondering if men can be sexually intimidated by a woman?


I've never been "sexually intimidated," though I have been too drunk to get it up without a lot of help, and when I was single I did find it off-putting, though not prohibitively so, when a woman would come on too aggressively, kind of a, trust me, I'll get us to where we want to go, so take your hand off the steering wheel type of thing. I generally don't like to take the more passive role during sex, either.

At the same time I can think of a couple times where I wouldn't even have noticed someone's receptive behaviors if she hadn't said something, but that might related back to the 'too drunk' thing. And I'm pretty sure there are dudes, who are not necessarily "nice guys" at all, who like it when women are sexually aggressive. Alright, mixed messages. Please disregard this post.

But if what you mean by "sexually intimidating" is coprophagia, watersports or anything that involves clamps or a speculum, yeah, I'd be scared. At least, that's what I tell myself.


----------



## Draguna (Jan 13, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I did cause him some Performance Anxiety for a time -which we worked through, but he never pushed me away, never. I never felt like he was trying to avoid me or get away.


Yeah, if you ever have performance anxiety, a woman going after your junk is the last thing you want. Even I had it once and if it weren't for her loving sneak attack, it would probably have lasted for more than a month


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Draguna said:


> Yeah, if you ever have performance anxiety, a woman going after your junk is the last thing you want. Even I had it once and if it weren't for her loving sneak attack, it would probably have lasted for more than a month


I am not sure what you mean by "loving sneak attack". I am assuming you mean -she handled it well & because of this, it was overcome fairly quickly- for you. 

I am sure if a guy is in a new relationship & this starts happening, it would be completely trumatic! And if the woman is not understanding, just once, starts taking it personal, it drives him to worry even more. 

I think with us, just cause we have been together almost a lifetime (28 yrs so far), he just handled it really well. Up until age 45, never once did it fail to rise. So when this started happening, it was kind of a blow for both of us. It didn't happen all the time, we would have good nights , then a struggling night. I set out to learn what was going on. I give him so much credit for not pushing me away, really I do--cause I was really pushing his limits. 

From reading I learned about the "Sensate Focus" exercises, we were even doing them for a time, and they worked. Back then I was worried about 3 things ...

1. Is it his TEST levels doing this (in part it was- his age & at 
the lower end of normal scale)
2. He doesn't desire me anymore
3. Or he has Performance Anxiety.

Obviously for me - #2 would be the most devestating, #1 worried me very much, so when I thought it was #3 - I was accually HAPPY !! It was very reassuring to me, knowing physically speaking he is fine- we can get past this. 

He just wanted to please me, so yes, his mind would be working in overdrive thinking "I have to get it up, I have to get it up". I noticed if he would start shrinking in the act, if I started talking dirty, erotically - maybe reminisicing a hot night on our vacation, describing how we felt, what we did to each other, it took his mind to these places & he would grow right then & there, and this usually did the trick - to a happy rocking finish. So it kinda became an art with me, now I really love to talk dirty!  

Oh the things I have learned in the past couple years!


----------



## Draguna (Jan 13, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I am not sure what you mean by "loving sneak attack". I am assuming you mean -she handled it well & because of this, it was overcome fairly quickly- for you.
> ...
> I think with us, just cause we have been together almost a lifetime (28 yrs so far), he just handled it really well. Up until age 45, never once did it fail to rise. So when this started happening, it was kind of a blow for both of us.
> ...
> He just wanted to please me, so yes, his mind would be working in overdrive thinking "I have to get it up, I have to get it up". I noticed if he would start shrinking in the act, if I started talking dirty, erotically - maybe reminisicing a hot night on our vacation, describing how we felt, what we did to each other, it took his mind to these places & he would grow right then & there, and this usually did the trick - to a happy rocking finish.


Yes, you are right. I don't know if I have posted this before, but she really likes to initiate. And then one day she wanted it and I couldn't perform even though I wanted to. That kinda brought on the performance anxiety and her way of initiating didn't help.

So like you, she found out what was happening and started talking about previous stuff and teasing me, but in a way which seemed innocent. Then, the moment I was ready for it, she gave me a BJ. Immediately snapped me out of feeling inadequate


----------

