# Isn't the mid-life crisis crazy?



## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

Isn't the whole mid-life crisis thing messed up? I mean, some act like it's a normal thing that hits some people, but when people allow it to turn lives upside down, isn't something wrong with that?

Why would someone throw away a lengthy marriage, financial security, upset their kids lives, lose friends, etc. just because they feel a wild hair? Really, doesn't something have to take over their thinking process that is totally crazy?

I can't understand why my x wife, for example, wouldn't take our children's well being into consideration. My x told me at the beginning of our divorce that she wasn't going to let their reaction influence her decision. Since then, my x tried dating, but my daughter threw such a fit that it made it difficult. My x told her, "I'm an adult and you're not going to rule my life." All that because I got a little boring. 

I've probably had every kind of thought and feeling imaginable over the years, but I never threw common sense out the window and allowed them to let me do something crazy. 

Once people act on this, are they really proud of their actions a few years down the road?


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Yeah, it is crazy. My estranged husband really went off the deep end. Even five years out he shows no remorse. Furthermore, he almost succeeded in convincing me I was the crazy one. And somehow he blames me for causing all the ruin. He still sees all the mid-life crisis not as a crisis, but as him "manning up" and no longer being Mr. Nice Guy. Is that not, warped?!


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

827Aug said:


> Yeah, it is crazy. My estranged husband really went off the deep end. Even five years out he shows no remorse. Furthermore, he almost succeeded in convincing me I was the crazy one. And somehow he blames me for causing all the ruin. He still sees all the mid-life crisis not as a crisis, but as him "manning up" and no longer being Mr. Nice Guy. Is that not, warped?!


Yes, that seems warped! I could understand if there was abuse or cheating, but this "I'm not happy anymore and have a wild hair" just doesn't make sense to me, no matter how many times someone tries to explain it to me, especially when someone has been married for a long time.:scratchhead:

her actions have caused me to lose all respect for her, as have many others. I've even had people say that someone who would change their way of thinking that drastically, "I wonder if she is even fit to be around the kids."

My brother said that from his experience in dating, women are crazy(his words with a little sarcasm), but he said my wife was always what made him feel good about women. She was the shining light for him, but now, that is gone.


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## FaithHopeLove (Apr 21, 2011)

My opinion: People are selfish and when you hit a certain mark (20- 30 years into a marriage-- whatever time) people start to think that they put in enough time not being selfish and giving themselves to their spouse or children and decide its enough. Now its time to take care of themselves, regardless of who they hurt or how they hurt them.

It's a shame that people these days sort of expect a mid-life crisis.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Perhaps drugs? My situation is so unbelievable, I really think that's a possibility. But, then my attorney keeps telling me to look at the parents who brought him up. Good point! They aren't exactly the most sane and rational people either. I guess a child does get their training somewhere. I obviously don't have the answers--only more questions as time passes. Until the day I die, I'll forever wonder "why".


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

FaithHopeLove said:


> My opinion: People are selfish and when you hit a certain mark (20- 30 years into a marriage-- whatever time) people start to think that they put in enough time not being selfish and giving themselves to their spouse or children and decide its enough. Now its time to take care of themselves, regardless of who they hurt or how they hurt them.
> 
> It's a shame that people these days sort of expect a mid-life crisis.


that sounds about like my x. She would even admit that "It's time for me to be happy." However, I don't think she has a clue as to what will make her happy.


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## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

Totally agree it's insanity. I've really come to just despise the term, as if it's some sort of excuse to throw all logic out the window and act like some addict.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

2xloser said:


> Totally agree it's insanity. I've really come to just despise the term, as if it's some sort of excuse to throw all logic out the window and act like some addict.


I agree! I think it should be treated as a mental problem that requires counceling. The weird part is that it causes someone in their 40s, 50, and perhaps 60s to start acting like a teenager again. I had someone tell me that it's a shame I couldn't be like J.R. Ewing and just pick up the phone and have my wife committed. I honestly think it would have done her some good.


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