# She has her own place, separation has begun, tips please!



## f1r3f1y3 (Dec 8, 2009)

Hi,

so my wife has got her own place after her EAs and all our problems. We have agreed a 6 month trial separation. She does not want to move out, so it has been very hard to make this happen and it has taken weeks to arrange. However every time I question whether it's the right thing to do, she does something to remind me it is. 

I am paying her rent until she finds a job with more hours. Our son will stay with me 4 nights through the week and with her 3 nights over the weekend.

I need to somehow get my son to and from school every day and I know it will be hard to keep the house running, I work long hours although from home. I don't know what this is going to feel like. 

We have agreed to date once a week, so I need to arrange a weekly baby sitter. I don't know where we'll go or what we'll do, money will be tight.

Our son took the news really well. In fact he seems quite excited at the prospect of sleeping in the flat sometimes then the house. We just told him we weren't getting on well and wanted to spend a little time apart. He asked some questions and responded very positively to this. Huge relief on that front.

I just hope over the next 6 months we can rebuild our marriage from scratch, minus all the lies.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

firefly - don't know your whole story

FWIW - when we did this same thing - almost exactly - people told me that my wife was just looking to create space to make her lying easier; didn't want to believe it, but now see that its true

You may find once you get settled in - after about 3 months - a certain comfort level with things; you'll have peace at home - some quality time alone with your son and your wife will be out of sight and mind - but please don't confuse this with progress

This feeling of comfort has to some extent kept me in limbo now; the kids are used to whats going on; I'm still - to some degree - supporting my wife and finding it hard to break that off;

And most of all, I'm still catching the lies, even though I don't look as hard;

Our initial lease ended on May 30th - she's still in the apartment and I see no end in sight

Sorry - not trying to bring you down - and hope your situation turns out much different than mine; just be careful not to confuse peace with progress;


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