# Fiance cheated on me before engaged and we are 1 week before wedding and telling me



## Crazyfun1

Soooo last night at work my fiancé called me and told me that he had cheated on me when we first started dating- our relationship spiral really fast- only together for 6 months and was pregnant and engaged- we have now been with each other for 2 years and we are getting married next weekend and he tells me 1 week before wedding that he had cheated on me with a girl that he use to have a thing for- now I’m hurt lost and confused!!!! 1 week before wedding and don’t know what to do! Please help!!!!!


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## dormant

Maybe this was just him setting things straight. I say, enjoy your wedding and I hope you have a long lasting relationship.


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## TiggyBlue

Please please please atleast prespone the wedding and have a hard long think about your relationship and your feelings about this news that has just been thrown at you. 
The biggest reason is that getting married in a week after being told this information might come back and bite you on the backside bigtime.

I am so sorry that you are going through this


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## SimplyAmorous

Crazyfun1 said:


> Soooo last night at work my fiancé called me and told me that he had cheated on me when we first started dating- our relationship spiral really fast- only together for 6 months and was pregnant and engaged- we have now been with each other for 2 years and we are getting married next weekend and he tells me 1 week before wedding that he had cheated on me with a girl that he use to have a thing for- now I’m hurt lost and confused!!!! 1 week before wedding and don’t know what to do! Please help!!!!!


Did he say why he was telling you this, did you feel his heart, I mean, was it a matter of trying to come clean, his conscience was bothering him? IF so, this was how many yrs ago... over 2.... this old flame is long gone? Yes it is horrible what he did, the timing sure is bad ...but maybe it was eating away at him.....

I think it is healthy and a GOOD sign if people come clean on their own, I mean, we all make mistakes -- you wasn't married at the time-or engaged... that would be worse....it was when you 1st started dating...saying it happened so fast, I assume BEFORE you got pregnant even. 

At the time, maybe he was not even sure where he was & with whom he was devoted....probably all over the place, since you termed it "spiraling realy fast". ...But as it turned out.... his connection grew mightily with you -after that time. This is what matters. 

HIS HEART in the why he came clean, cause he loves you so much he can't hide anything from you, you have a right to know.... (if that was his humble attitude).... and where his heart is NOW... this is what you need to concern yourself with. If it is deserving to forgive, forgive. Personally I would rather know something like that - before I married. It would be 20 times worse to find out through someone else down the road. 

ANd it wouldn't necessarily be a deal breaker. Just depends..again, on the heart & the why's he spilled it. 

YOu need to talk this out some more, till you have that "closure" -assurance of his love devotion to you, and only you.... get everything out, anything you have done (if anything) any other secrets in the closet... before you walk down that aisle... so you have peace on your Wedding Day... no questions....And for your future....to come to each other ...with everything... to NEVER keep secrets, such a firm foundation is what good marraiges are built upon.


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## studley

If you were not even engaged I would not say he cheated on you.


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## aug

Posted also on this thread: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/genera...ing-now-telling-me-1-week-before-wedding.html


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## srtjm

Ask if you should expect anymore surprises. Sounds like he has been there to be with you and your child.


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## aussiechick

Postpone. You won't be able to look at this time with real joy. Work through it with him if u want but post pine. If people ask why tell them he has disrespected you and u are working on it.

Some people will disappointed but your life and you should be happy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## anonim

studley said:


> If you were not even engaged I would not say he cheated on you.


there are such things as exclusive relationships.


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## kate542

I didn't quite understand your question, is this one girl or two?
If it was before you were an item then it doesn't matter at all it's history and most people let things like that go and he is just letting you know.
If this is another women he's had a sexual relationship with during your relationship then postpone the wedding until a later date. You will need to forgive and forget something like that and a wedding is not a good start.


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## Chelle D

seems like he just wants to clear the air before you marry. If you were not engaged at the time, He probably thought it was not big deal at the time.


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## mel123

Be so so thankful he is being honest before the marriage. Many people find out things many years after. When that happens, it causes devastating trust issues for the one that’s been cheated on. It also takes away the choice of the” offended one” how they wish to deal with it. Yes, you have been hurt but your choice of how to deal with it, has not been stolen from you. Count yourself fortunate, that you have your choices and weren’t deceived until after marriage. Think how you would feel if he had kept that a secret and you found out some other way years later. I am speaking from personal experience, be glad you have your choices and DO NOT get married until you have peace about this.


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## somethingelse

sorry, I misread. So he is telling you about this one past girl, a week before your marriage? I would definitely be concerned about him not coming forth about it sooner


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## Anonymous07

Crazyfun1 said:


> Soooo last night at work my fiancé called me and told me that he had cheated on me when we first started dating- our relationship spiral really fast- only together for 6 months and was pregnant and engaged- we have now been with each other for 2 years and we are getting married next weekend and he tells me 1 week before wedding that he had cheated on me with a girl that he use to have a thing for- now I’m hurt lost and confused!!!! 1 week before wedding and don’t know what to do! Please help!!!!!


I say postpone the wedding. There is no excuse for cheating and you both should talk about what exactly happened. If he has cheated before, he may cheat again.


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## Cosmos

I find it pretty unfortunate that he should call you at work and spring this one on you, rather than sitting you down and telling you face to face... Not the sort of thing a person wants to deal with in front of work colleagues!

However, as others have said this happened some time ago in the early stages of your relationship and, providing you weren't exclusive at the time, I think I _might_ let it go. If you were exclusive, then I would certainly give this some more thought...


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## costa200

He "called" you? That's a fine example of bravery right there...


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