# Question for HD ladies.



## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

Someone posted something here that has me thinking. Would you ever desire to have your husband be your submissive? I am wondering if you would ever like to take charge of him for a day? The visual is to have him as your pet ( maybe on a leash) following you and doing anything you desire. 

Not just sexual, but things like vacuum the house. Washing the dishes, dusting, waiting on your every need. Cooking you dinner and even giving you a bath.

Its going to be my wife s birthday in a few days and I am thinking of giving her 24 hours as being her total pet for day and doing anything she wishes. 

Thoughts?


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

I think that is sexy...


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## CalBanker (Oct 8, 2013)

Happyquest said:


> Someone posted something here that has me thinking. Would you ever desire to have your husband be your submissive? I am wondering if you would ever like to take charge of him for a day? The visual is to have him as your pet ( maybe on a leash) following you and doing anything you desire.
> 
> Not just sexual, but things like vacuum the house. Washing the dishes, dusting, waiting on your every need. Cooking you dinner and even giving you a bath.
> 
> ...


That might not be a bad idea. I don't know if I could do it for a full 24 hours, just due to the kids. But I think it would be fun for even me to do that for my W. I would have to admit though, if it didn't end up with some rolling around in the sack, I might be disappointed.


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

CalBanker said:


> I would have to admit though, if it didn't end up with some rolling around in the sack, I might be disappointed.


umm yea. If I give her a bath and fail to make her want a good though cleaning and a massage I would feel disappointed.


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## CalBanker (Oct 8, 2013)

Happyquest said:


> umm yea. If I give her a bath and fail to make her want a good though cleaning and a massage I would feel disappointed.


Yep, just remember, if you give her the option of you just being her sub for the day, you could open yourself up to some disappointement.


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

I think good behavior would be rewarded. You might have to do a few tricks to get a treat though...


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I read a LOT of erotica, including some Domme stuff. It does nothing for me at all. I get how a male would be into it, I even get the erotic humiliation component. It just doesn't do anything for me. I've also found that something I read that I find highly erotic doesn't usually translate into real life. 

I sometimes take control and Domme Mr. Pink, but I do it strictly for him. I don't mind taking erotic control, toss him on the bed and pull his pants down, that kind of stuff, but Domme him...not my bag baby.

The leash bit... Not for me. But to each his/her own.


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

Anon Pink said:


> I read a LOT of erotica, including some Domme stuff. It does nothing for me at all. I get how a male would be into it, I even get the erotic humiliation component. It just doesn't do anything for me. I've also found that something I read that I find highly erotic doesn't usually translate into real life.
> 
> I sometimes take control and Domme Mr. Pink, but I do it strictly for him. I don't mind taking erotic control, toss him on the bed and pull his pants down, that kind of stuff, but Domme him...not my bag baby.
> 
> The leash bit... Not for me. But to each his/her own.


I understand but my wife loves when I do this to her so I am thinking she might like me doing it to me. I am just thinking about it. I know she likes when I tie her to the massage table and make her do as I command. LOL


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## CalBanker (Oct 8, 2013)

Happyquest said:


> I understand but my wife loves when I do this to her so I am thinking she might like me doing it to me. I am just thinking about it. I know she likes when I tie her to the massage table and make her do as I command. LOL


So that is what I'm missing.....add massage table to the xmas list!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Happyquest said:


> Someone posted something here that has me thinking. Would you ever desire to have your husband be your submissive? I am wondering if you would ever like to take charge of him for a day? The visual is to have him as your pet ( maybe on a leash) following you and doing anything you desire.
> 
> Not just sexual, but things like vacuum the house. Washing the dishes, dusting, waiting on your every need. Cooking you dinner and even giving you a bath.
> 
> Its going to be my wife s birthday in a few days and I am thinking of giving her 24 hours as being her total pet for day and doing anything she wishes.


 This is not a desire I have at all.... wouldn't do anything for me personally. Other things I'd want out of him .... not these things....but I'm basically a stay at home Mom, so this makes sense. I don't feel like I need a day being pampered in this way....

My "anything she wishes" would = more Erotic "take charge" actions.. not being my pet.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Happyquest said:


> I understand but my wife loves when I do this to her so I am thinking she might like me doing it to me. I am just thinking about it. I know she likes when I tie her to the massage table and make her do as I command. LOL


I LOVE it when Mr. Pink Doms me! I'm not charged by topping him as I am super charged by being topped. It doesn't always work both ways.

ETA, so you could be her house boy for the day. Then reappear in full on Dom mode ordering her up stairs!


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

I would be happy to play like that for a day. Not my usual flavor but I'm pretty switchy.


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

Anon Pink said:


> I LOVE it when Mr. Pink Doms me! I'm not charged by topping him as I am super charged by being topped. It doesn't always work both ways.
> 
> ETA, so you could be her house boy for the day. Then reappear in full on Dom mode ordering her up stairs!


I enjoy the idea of switching. You have read many of my post and 99% of the time I am taking charge. I come up with the sexual plan. Being a sub and a pet where she has to take charge of the sexual direction would be a huge turn on for me. I would love for her to take the lead and be the aggressor for a change. We have been getting into a bit of roll play lately so I thought she might enjoy taking charge. 

I think it would be cool if she had to make a plan and thats why this is so exciting for me to turn over the control for a day. 24 hrs, 12 hrs, 4 hrs or even 2 hrs. I would also like to show her how to be a good sub and follow commands. 

I so appreciate everyone's input about this.


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

Happyquest...this doesn't usually work both ways. I would start slow and see what she is willing to try. I am the female Dom in our relationship...it isn't every women's cup of tea and even though many men think they would like it they only like it to a point and then they want to take over. Take it slow and have a safe word either of you use if it doesn't feek comfotable.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

In another life I would have enjoyed this immensely.But with DH,it would turn me off to have him be my pet for a day.For some reason ever since being with him I prefer to be the pet


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## H30 (Nov 23, 2013)

I'm all for having my husband be a sub around the house and do a bunch of stuff for me...but in bed, I much prefer to be the one in the submissive role.


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

can I ask why most of the woman here prefer to be more on the submissive side when it comes to sex??? What is it about following his lead when it comes to sex?


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Happyquest said:


> can I ask why most of the woman here prefer to be more on the submissive side when it comes to sex??? What is it about following his lead when it comes to sex?


I'm not sure.I never used to prefer it.Just with DH.If I had to analyze it I'd say it's because I'm the more dominant decision maker in the relationship and he's super laid back.The bedroom is really his time to be dominant.It wasn't a conscious decision.It just worked out that way and it's great


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Happyquest said:


> Not just sexual, but things like vacuum the house. Washing the dishes, dusting, waiting on your every need. Cooking you dinner and even giving you a bath.


Total turn on


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## H30 (Nov 23, 2013)

Happyquest said:


> can I ask why most of the woman here prefer to be more on the submissive side when it comes to sex??? What is it about following his lead when it comes to sex?


I think for me it is because I am working, in charge of housework, in charge of child care. I don't want to think about anything during sex....I think it's a huge turn on for the guy to really take the lead and show their desire. I want to be able to just let go during sex. 
Also, I think in general women are basically taught to be a little more reserved sexually, so to be dominant can be out of our comfort zone.


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

I would love to have the opportunity to make demands in the bedroom. I think being in control would be a huge turn on for me. 

I am Boss.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Happyquest said:


> can I ask why most of the woman here prefer to be more on the submissive side when it comes to sex??? What is it about following his lead when it comes to sex?



This is why I happily take a turn topping Mr. pink, but it is for his pleasure alone. Because when a man takes control, he is doing things he desires. At least in theory

A man who is the dominant sexual partner is the aggressor and the woman needs only follow his directions and bask in his desire for her. He chases, she allows herself to be caught. He directs, she allows herself to be directed. All ideas and actions flow from him, she submits to his desires and gets turned on because he is already turned on AND because his over eager desire for her is itself a huge turn on.

The same holds true for men who like to be submissive. They like to be turned on by her desire for him, by her over eager passion for him.

Because more women then men are responsive desire types, IOW, their sexual desire comes about as a response to something and isn't manufactured on it's own, more women then men prefer to be the submissive sexual partner than the dominant sexual partner.

The complicating factor here is that for a man to be a really excellent dominant sexual partner, he has to balance his sexual desire and whims with what he knows she likes, what will slightly push her boundaries(if she's into boundary pushing) what will get her really hot and bothered. And we all know women are a lot more complicated then men when it comes to sexuality

Former Nice Guys make the absolute BEST sexual dominants! Mr. Pink can have me melting in no time when he uses his bad boy tone of voice and now he's got his bad boy leer down pat...puddles in my panties!


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> This is why I happily take a turn topping Mr. pink, but it is for his pleasure alone. Because when a man takes control, he is doing things he desires. At least in theory
> 
> A man who is the dominant sexual partner is the aggressor and the woman needs only follow his directions and bask in his desire for her. He chases, she allows herself to be caught. He directs, she allows herself to be directed. All ideas and actions flow from him, she submits to his desires and gets turned on because he is already turned on AND because his over eager desire for her is itself a huge turn on.
> 
> ...


Huh...thanks that was very interesting.:smthumbup:

*puddles in your panties (oh my )


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

No.... I wouldn't like this.
I don't find sub men sexy at all...quite the opposite in fact it would turn me off.
In my thinking... sub= female and dom=male.

So to me, the man doesn't seem very manly when he is in the sub position... I want HIM to do the bodice ripping. But then... I like big hairy blokes who can swing a chainsaw... so take my opinion for what it's worth 

But as others have said if you two enjoy it then........ woo hoo :smthumbup:

You're a fab husband for thinking like this and planning a nice surprise for her.

Just be 100% sure it IS something she would like....but you know your wife and her likes and dislikes..we don't. 

Have fun!


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Happyquest said:


> can I ask why most of the woman here prefer to be more on the submissive side when it comes to sex??? What is it about following his lead when it comes to sex?


I'm not submissive and my husband isn't dominant. But we do like to play rough. So sometimes it may look like we are sub and domme but only at a glance. If you look closer you'll see we just love being crazy-physical with each other.

I wouldn't like a man who honestly wants me to "submit". Thankfully, my husband isn't like that. He wants me to "participate" which is much different. When you submit you are participating but to a lesser degree than the dominant one. The dominant is doing most of the work and unless the domme likes doing the work, it isn't that much fun for them.

Same goes for expecting a woman to dominate you. She will be doing all the hard work, which is fine as long as she actually wants to do it. Directing a sex scene and staying in a dominant character can be a lot of work and not everyone wants to work that hard.

My husband and I both participate, but we switch top and bottom roles, or we just stay side to side and bounce back and forth.

I wrote a blog post about this subject, because I think a lot of women expect men to "just know" how to be dominant and to execute a sexual experience around it. But what if the man doesn't want to dominate? Also, I think a lot of women think that submisssion is what they want when they really just wanted to be thrown down on the bed and "taken". This isn't the same as submission but it might look the same to an observer.

I Married a Sex God: 16. Submission…or Throwdown?


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

I'd like a pony ride...


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## CalBanker (Oct 8, 2013)

tracyishere said:


> I'd like a pony ride...


Giddyup!!!


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

Being Dominate or submissive in either roll is a game to make the sex hotter and more interesting. I consider my wife and equal in our relationship. I am neither dominate or submissive sexually as I enjoy giving to her and she enjoys giving to me.

Yes we all like different things at times to keep the sex interesting. I never buy the same color car twice as I like change. That how I like sex. I want to keep it different and alive. I wouldnt want a steady diet of being the Dominate or the Submissive. What we desire changes depending on the mood. Been married 27 years and I can pretty much read the wife's mood. I know when she wants to be cuddled or pushed to the bed and taken like an animal. I know when to put on the soft music and light the candles or crack the riding crop on my hands and tell her to get on her knees.

I want her to know that I am here for her fantasys too. If she wants me to be the pool boy or the home repair guy I can be that too. I am willing to submit to her fantasys and desires.

We agreed along time ago that she would make all the minor house hold decisions and I would make all the major ones. 27 years and we have never had a major decision yet. I love my wife! :rofl:


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

The leash thing doesn't do it for me and he does so much around the house anyway.

As for being my sex slave for the day, yeah he would happily do that everyday if I asked. I love to tie him up in bed and be the boss lady.


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

Thank you for everyone s opinion. I am thinking she probably would like me to continue to be the dominate one in the bedroom. I am thinking that a better present would be a surprise weekend away to a local bed and breakfast without children. Nothing better than going to a place where you can get your kink on behind a closed door in a private bedroom. To spend and entire day in the bed find new ways to please your lover.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Happyquest said:


> Thank you for everyone s opinion. I am thinking she probably would like me to continue to be the dominate one in the bedroom. I am thinking that a better present would be a surprise weekend away to a local bed and breakfast without children. Nothing better than going to a place where you can get your kink on behind a closed door in a private bedroom. To spend and entire day in the bed find new ways to please your lover.


Yes please!


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

Maybe you can suggest this be a birthday present for you?


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