# My wife is so selfish in bed ... or is it my fault?



## runningman1 (May 7, 2012)

My wife and I have been to bed at her suggestion as my daughter is at work

Instead of asking me she just went upstairs then text, get to the bedrooom and she in bed naked. She knows I get a thrill out of undressing her

I get into bed and she stats kissing me and pushing my hand to her business end I do a bit of oral and she comes - I then again try stimulating her again she responds and reaches down for me. As I am not rock hard she pushes me way angry.

If I am not rock hard without any stimulation from her she thinks I am not interested. We had all afternoon she seemed to want it over in 10 mins.

I am at the end of my tether I buy her sexy underwear she wears it once thats it - I have told her she looks great in it I told her I have a massive heels and stockings fetish but she never wears them I told her I want to tie her up when shes wearing them a bit of fun I opened my heart to her and she treats me like this

HELP!!!!!


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

=/

My wife doesn't have to ask me, and in fact I don't want her to, rather her seduce me which she is capable of (but lazy from time to time)

I don't really see the problem or how she's being selfish in bed, she obviously reached down for you instead of just cumming and leaving you with nothing =/


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## runningman1 (May 7, 2012)

Yes she reached down and when I wasnt rock hard pushed me away. The end of session

She expects me to go down on her use my hand to stimulate her to orgasm. Then after expects me to be ready to be hard and p0und her till its over - no stimulation from her nothing - no touching and a BJ ? doubt she knows what one is

My point is if we went to bed and I tried to penetrate her without first touching her and arousing her she would go mad. So is it so selfish to expect some stimulation from her?


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Talk to her? I dunno.

My husband gets hard while he's messin around with me...I still touch him, etc, but sometimes, I just wanna get effed...same as how he feels sometimes.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

that_girl said:


> Talk to her? I dunno.
> 
> My husband gets hard while he's messin around with me...I still touch him, etc, but sometimes, I just wanna get effed...same as how he feels sometimes.


Talk to her, but make it from a positive place. Say something like you LOVE what she does and you LOVE what you do to her and maybe throw in a "It would be really hot if you...". That way you get the attention you need without it seeming to be a problem.


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

Tell her the next time she pushes you away because you're not hard at that time, then that will be it for awhile until she can stop acting like a child.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

It's your fault for putting up with it, if nothing else. Same as a woman who puts up with a husband who only cares about his orgasm.

C


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## runningman1 (May 7, 2012)

PBear said:


> It's your fault for putting up with it, if nothing else. Same as a woman who puts up with a husband who only cares about his orgasm.
> 
> C


Your correct

But if I mention it she flies off the handle and thinks because I am not rock hard shes doesnt turn me on. I am sick of it to be honest, cant even be bothered anymore an affair would be easier

She thinks a good sex life is climb into bed and go at it for 5 mins job done


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

No BJ? No HJ? Pushes you away if you aren't hard...

Does she even understand the male body? :scratchhead:


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

I really can't see how his wife's SELFISH behaviour is his fault.
SHE pushes his hands * down there*, he gives HER oral and manual stimulation,
SHE has an orgasm, and then pushes him away refusing to reciprocate, and that is HIS fault?

Sounds crazy to me.

SHE needs to get it in her head that her husband needs PLEASURE during sex too.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Her problem is she's bought into what she thinks a stereotypical man should be, rock hard and ready to go 24/7. And when you don't get turned on by doing her she is hurt so she lashes out.

And yes she is a selfish lover. She wants all the benefits without having to put forth any effort and it's your fault for putting up with it. Next time she's laying in bed naked tell her you're not in the mood. Calmly tell her this isn't okay with you anymore. That you need more than 10 minutes from her or it's not happening.

Yes she will get pissed but if you can stay calm and not get sucked in it will work. Many women here have had to do the same things with their too fast husbands. This is an easy fix if you understand the concept of why you have to cut her off. She can't do anything to you that you don't agree to.


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## HeaterKeda (Oct 15, 2012)

My husband gets hard while he's messin around with me


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

I used to be rock hard all the time too... with familiarity, aging, routine and other factors that lead to a reduction in raging testosterone (family, stress, fatigue) so too does the instant perma-boners. So for those W's on here saying your H's are ready on demand, pay attention to this thread so you may understand that someday when he isn't, it has nothing to do with any lack virtue of you or the relationship, it just means you gotta give him some stimulation if you want him ready.


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

Runningman sorry to hear that you married my wife's sexual doppelganger. Lon hit it right on the head. My wife turns me on and always has. I finally got tired of all the implied comments about impotency and let her know that I am not 19 any longer yet still capable of achieving "full mast" if she would only show the slightest interest in me physically. 

As I just posted a couple of days ago. I am done with worrying about it. She is going to have to work at it 100% for a while and if she is not willing then oh well.


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## KnK (Oct 15, 2012)

Lon said:


> I used to be rock hard all the time too... with familiarity, aging, routine and other factors that lead to a reduction in raging testosterone (family, stress, fatigue) so too does the instant perma-boners. So for those W's on here saying your H's are ready on demand, pay attention to this thread so you may understand that someday when he isn't, it has nothing to do with any lack virtue of you or the relationship, it just means you gotta give him some stimulation if you want him ready.


This is very true my husband is 28 , so still pretty young. Even though most of the time he is ready on demand there has been a time or two that it took me a little bit of coaxing to get him there. He works a lot and stays under a lot of stress. Plus we have a toddler so our intimacy level is not at 100% My point is it does happen and I know it's not because he is not into me. 

On a point about your wife. Women are insecure in a lot of ways. She probably does not understand and may think your not interested. Prove her wrong when you have the energy and time. Also talk to her before , during and after.


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## runningman1 (May 7, 2012)

RClawson said:


> Runningman sorry to hear that you married my wife's sexual doppelganger. Lon hit it right on the head. My wife turns me on and always has. I finally got tired of all the implied comments about impotency and let her know that I am not 19 any longer yet still capable of achieving "full mast" if she would only show the slightest interest in me physically.
> 
> As I just posted a couple of days ago. I am done with worrying about it. She is going to have to work at it 100% for a while and if she is not willing then oh well.



Thanks for your post. Its so frustrating, she does turn me on I tell her that but shes a bit naive sex is always the same lights out under the covers - job done. I dont think in all our years of marriage she has actually approached me outside the bedroom.

I have done all I can I have opened my heart to her - it took me over 20 years of marriage to tell her I had a fetish for Stockings and heels - which isnt exactly mega kinky I even told her one night I wanted to tie her up - I was shaking with nerves. So I have tried talking she not interested

I am so frustrated in her lack of enthusiasm the other morning I suggested a night of passion as our daughter was out all I got was "I will have to see how I feel later" I really dont know where to go from here


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## cloudwithleggs (Oct 13, 2011)

such mismatched people sexually, what can you do, you can't change peoples sexual desires less they be interested.

outdoor sex, stockings, suspenders, heels and being tied up :smthumbup:


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Caribbean Man said:


> I really can't see how his wife's SELFISH behaviour is his fault.
> SHE pushes his hands * down there*, he gives HER oral and manual stimulation,
> SHE has an orgasm, and then pushes him away refusing to reciprocate, and that is HIS fault?
> 
> ...


And the only way she's going to understand that is if he makes it clear that her treatment of him is unacceptable. That's the only place his fault lies, at least the way it's described here.

C


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