# How many "second" chances for lying?



## tjmsnail (Mar 3, 2010)

I am considering divorcing my husband of just over two years due to lies in our marriage. Our marriage started with a lie.. I told my husband I did not want to marry a smoker due to smoking related deaths in my family. So he told me he quit. I questioned him because he would come home smelling like smoke, he would blame it on coworkers. He told me I was "insane" for questioning him and that he would "never lie to me because he loved me" "how could i even THINK he would lie", ect. I found a recipt for smokes and confronted him a year later, he was cornered and had to admit it. My husband joined the army and soon got stationed in Germany. I asked him to not go out drinking because i was on bedrest and was threatening to go into premature labor and wanted him available in case I did. He promised he would not go out drinking and did several times. He said it wasn't a lie because he did not "intend" to get drunk and that it was ok because he "talked about me the whole time". He also went out CLUBBING in Germany w/ his friend and two girls while I was on bedrest. He never even told me about it until his friend posted pictures of it online and I called him out on it. He has been stationed in Iraq and the trust issues I have made me question his fidelity w/ a female that he hangs out w/ a lot that he knew in Germany as well. He actually discussed intimate issues of our life w/ her... physical and emotional. After questioning his fidelity he told her I thought they were having sex, which i thought was very disrepectful. He swore he never discussed my issues w/ his fidelity with her. I backed him into a corner and he finally admitted he has been talking to her about our relationship issues. All of them. He tried to convince me his lying is my fault. Then he took it back and said he lies in order to make himself feel and look better. To feel important. I have given him so many chances. Has anyone been in a situation like this? Will he change his lying ways? It seems as though he doesn't even respect me... There have been more lies than what I have listed. I listed the ones that bothered me the most. Sorry about the long post.... I have posted to other forums w/ no replies. I really need advice please.


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## bravo99 (Mar 2, 2010)

I am biased on this point, but honestly. GET OUT NOW. I'm sorry but the last thing you want is to be stuck in a relationship with a liar. He has obviously made it a past time with you.
I don't want you stuck like me at 26 years and 4 children giving me the stress and conflict that I couldv'e gotten out (then I wouldn't have the great kids)...I wouldn't be a sad stressed out unhappy basket case because everytime I'm stupid enough to think he's matured and changed, another cheating lie comes out. It's bad for my children it's terrible for me.
You don't want this to be you, I don't want this for you. I had the chance to get out and didn't. Please save yourself and get into a happy relationship with a man that will cherish you and love you the way you deserve.


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## JSmith30 (Mar 3, 2010)

i would be getting out too. It seems while he is away he is going to play, and you don't need that constantly on your mind. Life is stressful enough.


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