# Bromances, please help a person who doesnt get it



## chunt (Feb 15, 2012)

Hi, as the title suggests. I am a married woman and my husband is involved in a bromance. I like that he has friends but there's one thing I don't really understand. In fact I think its an extremely positive thing that he is making friends because with a military wife like me it can be hard because we have moved alot in the past few years. 

The boys are going on a photography trip in a few months. I think this is super cool and hope my husband has a great time. They are going to visit a supposedly cursed ghost town to take pictures.

But there's this one thing....its all outdoors. 

My husband is usually a homebody and hates the outdoors. I cant even get him to go outside for anything. He loathes the thought of the outdoors, he doesn't want to fish, hunt hike, or even go for a simple walk, parks, beaches, fuggetaboutit. I do like the outdoors and sincerely hope this experience gets him to want to go outside and do some activities--with me because him wanting to sit at home all the time is pretty old and it would be nice if he wanted to do some of these activities with me. 

We've been married 4 years and 2 years ago a different friend said something about this specific place they're going, I am a little hurt I never got to go, and probably never will because he probably wont want to go more than once. 

sorry about the TLDR but here is the dilemma condensed. Why would someone who hates the outdoors be willing to go with a friend and not his wife, who likes the outdoors?


----------



## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Maybe his friend won't make him feel like a pvssy for not being as manly as his wife?  you kind of do make him sound like that you know...

You want you H to have friends and do fun stuff. That means letting him make his own decisions and supporting them rather than be threatened by your lack of inclusion.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

What kinds of things does he do with you?


----------



## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Interesting screen name BTW. Is it a hard 'ch' or a soft sound?


----------



## chunt (Feb 15, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> Interesting screen name BTW. Is it a hard 'ch' or a soft sound?


Its my first initial and last name. And I do not try to make him seem less manly thats just teh activities he doesnt typically enjoy.

Ele, usually he just likes to watch the tube and play videogames with me. He had some chronic health conditions that are getting to be more liveable so I am happy and excited that he is making friends.

We talked about it and he seems to have a delusion that he will not be outdoors for this excursion and that he will be in his friends car the whole time. smh. Hopefully this brings about him wanting to do things outdoors with me.


----------



## Broken at 20 (Sep 25, 2012)

You said you're a military wife. Assuming he was the soldier. Probably my own sexist nature. Don't really see most women as soldiers. 

Anyway, military wife. 
WTF did he do? 
I mean, I doubt the military fgits my idea of the miltiary I have form movies. 
But I am pretyt sure you are outside. A lot. 

Maybe it was beat out of him? PTSD or something? 

Also. 
Your titel made me think of this video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJVt8kUAm9Q


----------



## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

I think that men that have bromances are super cool.


----------



## chunt (Feb 15, 2012)

Broken, I am the active duty servicemember not my husband. 

I meant difficult to meet people as we have moved quite a bit in the past few years. He also served in the military before we were married. He has no ptsd or anything like that.


----------



## Broken at 20 (Sep 25, 2012)

chunt said:


> Broken, I am the active duty servicemember not my husband.
> 
> I meant difficult to meet people as we have moved quite a bit in the past few years. He also served in the military before we were married. He has no ptsd or anything like that.


Hm./..didn't expect that. 

Mty bad. 
I am a horrible person somtimes. 

Uh...maybe he is just doesn;t like the outdoors? 
My pathetic excuse for a father didn't like camping either. 

Or becuase of the moving, he could never develop a groiup of friends, and discover what his true interest werE? Or his friends are more of convenvenice than, similar interest. 

For example, I am friends with peopl at school that like going out and drinking, and are business students. Not because we share the same interest. We generally edon't. 
But they are friends because I can't find people that enjoy gaming, sports, and going to the gym. 
Confenience over interest.


----------



## FormerSelf (Apr 21, 2013)

It usually takes having other men around to propel a guy into doing things he wouldn't normally do. It's not that he cares about what _they_ think more than what _you_ think, but male bonding is important to men. It's different than being with women...as most guys feel like they have to be like:









when deep down, dudes sometimes really want to be like:


----------



## Methuselah (Nov 24, 2014)

chunt said:


> My husband is usually a homebody and hates the outdoors. I cant even get him to go outside for anything. He loathes the thought of the outdoors, he doesn't want to fish, hunt hike, or even go for a simple walk, parks, beaches, fuggetaboutit. I do like the outdoors and sincerely hope this experience gets him to want to go outside and do some activities--with me because him wanting to sit at home all the time is pretty old and it would be nice if he wanted to do some of these activities with me.


Perhaps he loves the outdoors. Just not with you.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

badsanta said:


> Being outdoors (A) with your wife is not the same as being outdoors with your (B) male friends.
> 
> A = watching your manners and not using any potty words.
> 
> B = Challenging each other to see who can fart the loudest.



hmmm...I don't have to watch my manners and avoid cursing or farting loud in front of my wife. Women aren't fragile creatures that need protecting.


----------



## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

A bromance is like a boyfriend except platonic. Me and my best friends tell new people that we meet that we are brothers. We go shopping together, except we are straight. For an entire year, we practiced our british accent by watching Doctor Who, and we introduced ourselves as British. Yes, sometimes we get mixed as a gay couple, but, it comes with the territory of being metro too. He is a dj, clothe designer. I am a geek, who loves sports, and we both enjoy the art scenes.


----------



## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

This doesnt sound as much like a bromance as it is him enjoying the company of new friends.

You also sound slightly jealous.


----------



## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> hmmm...I don't have to watch my manners and avoid cursing or farting loud in front of my wife. Women aren't fragile creatures that need protecting.


Because every woman is just like your wife? Mine will object strongly to every curse and fart. Not that I'm a frequent offender, but she just dislikes those behaviors.


----------



## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> hmmm...I don't have to watch my manners and avoid cursing or farting loud in front of my wife. Women aren't fragile creatures that need protecting.


Well I am as tough as they come in certain aspects but very fragile when it comes to crass behaviour. Sorry but a man that farts loud in my company would not last long, gross, just gross. Would be a major turn off.


----------



## G.J. (Nov 4, 2014)

chunt said:


> sorry about the TLDR but here is the dilemma condensed. Why would someone who hates the outdoors be willing to go with a friend and not his wife, who likes the outdoors?


Just different strokes I guess
I had a lot of friends who I use to do everything with
I eventually got to the stage where I only see them occasionally and with my wife as I like to think my wife is my best buddy these days as well as lover, partner, wife, etc.
oh I'm what they call an Alpha male on these boards


----------



## Abovetheline (Aug 19, 2014)

Almostrecovered said:


> hmmm...I don't have to watch my manners and avoid cursing or farting loud in front of my wife. Women aren't fragile creatures that need protecting.


True and I go everywhere with my wife, but some guys just have more fun and loosen up more easily without their wives around. 

Women can say the same thing, when women are around other women they can more easily talk about the same boring crap they always talk about (kids, buying stuff, flirting with other men, giving birth and how painful it was, that time of the month.....)
RELAX women, just kidding


----------



## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

chunt said:


> sorry about the TLDR but here is the dilemma condensed. Why would someone who hates the outdoors be willing to go with a friend and not his wife, who likes the outdoors?


Because hanging out with the guys and hanging out with your wife aren't remotely the same thing.

There are just some things I'd do with my best friends that I wouldn't with my wife. Hell there are things I'd do with one friend that I wouldn't with another. Why? Because human beings aren't interchangeable. One of the most annoying things a woman can do in my book is try and compare/contrast her romantic relationship with the platonic relationship between her man and his boys.


----------



## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

jaquen said:


> Because hanging out with the guys and hanging out with your wife aren't remotely the same thing.
> 
> There are just some things I'd do with my best friends that I wouldn't with my wife. Hell there are things I'd do with one friend that I wouldn't with another. Why? Because human beings aren't interchangeable. One of the most annoying things a woman can do in my book is try and compare/contrast her romantic relationship with the platonic relationship between her man and his boys.


Same but reverse the genders. No matter how much I love my man he is not and never will be one of the girls. And thank The Universe for that.


----------



## chunt (Feb 15, 2012)

After reading these posts I did lighten up. I was also taken or a hike and a picnic for valentine's day--which I loved. I do hope that this is a positive change for him. 

I also have plenty of female friends in the community and those are centered around different activities (knitting club, workout buddies, etc) I usually leave these folks at those activities though. But since I spoke up because some days after working 10-12 hours you just kind of want to relax and have quiet time and coming home to that's opposite is kind of stressful I think he gets it.


----------

