# I've decided to leave him.



## too_far_into_it (Jan 6, 2010)

It's been a few weeks since I first posted here. I don't know if any of you remember my situation or not, I won't go back into it. 

I decided today I am going to leave. We have been married for 16 years and together for 20. I've got to take some steps first, the first is to get a second job, save my money and purchase a car of my own. Then I will get an apartment and gradually take my stuff out of the home. I will file for divorce the day I permanently leave his home.

I want nothing from him. I only want my clothes, and a few items to set up housekeeping. I will live on rice and beans if I have to. I can't continue to live as his wife any longer. The damage is done. He wants to go to counseling for his problems, that's fine I'll make him the appointments and support him any way I can to help him be a better person, but I won't do it as his wife. This, I feel is way beyond what I should do for him, as when I had post pardom depression he ridiculed me for being sick and caused my illness to drag on for 4 years. I will not go into the details of the hell he put me through during THOSE years but I am being honorable by helping him. He has put me through hell for 20 years, he says he is sorry all the time, but the next episode of his torment is the same song and dance only with a different title. His last episode was just 2 weeks ago. He will never change. 

Irreparable damage has been done to my soul and there is nothing he can say or do to keep our marriage together. 

I feel better just putting this down somewhere.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Good for you. Stand up for yourself. Surround yourself with support--you have been abused, verbally, sexually, and physically--by your husband. You have found the courage to leave. You deserve so much better. Let your faith be your guide as you take the high road away from this abusive relationship. One day your kids will learn to understand what you did and why you did it, and in the meantime, be strong, and set up the safety net for when you cannot be. You will come through this and I believe you will find many rewards, in your faith and your every-day life, for taking this action to protect and preserve one of God's precious children, yourself.


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## nikon (Nov 9, 2009)

Deciding is the hardest part. I believe you can do this. You deserve better.


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## too_far_into_it (Jan 6, 2010)

I just wanted to give a little update. Today I got a second job. Step one in my plan is complete.
Now the hard part is going to be going through the 6 weeks of training. My first job is 7-3 M-F and the second job will be 3:30-midnight for 6 weeks, after the training I will go to 20-30 hrs on the second job. The daytime job will still be 7-3.

I'm hoping I am going to be able to handle this. He doesn't know what to do I can tell. He keeps trying to convince me he is going to change, though when we argue I can see the monster about to break out. I just hope he doesn't try to sabotage me with the other job by taking away my transportation. In 6 weeks I should have enough money to purchase a used vehicle.:smthumbup:


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## larniegrl (Oct 7, 2009)

Good luck!! Congrats on the new (2nd) job.


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