# How should I bring up facesitting?



## theduck (Jan 2, 2012)

My sex life with my wife is pretty vanilla. It works for us since we are both relatively vanilla as far as I'm aware.

Recently, I've found the idea of her facesitting and smothering me pretty hot. 

The issue is that I don't know how to talk to my wife about it. We both came from very sexually conservative backgrounds so I am basically clueless when it comes to this sort of stuff.

She's also very sexually shy. The first time I bought a dildo for her, she started crying. The process that we went through in order to introduce sex toys into the bedroom is not one that I want to repeat.


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## discouraged1 (Mar 16, 2010)

I have been married over 20 years and my wife is about the same.. very shy and most vanilla. I try to ease her into everything but with little success. Best advice I can give you is to start mentioning and hinting around before being direct. At least that way you can get some feedback before hand. Sorry but for the most part she is set in her ways I am afraid. I rarely get anything I ask or hint at. Best of luck.


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## theduck (Jan 2, 2012)

discouraged1 said:


> I have been married over 20 years and my wife is about the same.. very shy and most vanilla. I try to ease her into everything but with little success. Best advice I can give you is to start mentioning and hinting around before being direct. At least that way you can get some feedback before hand. Sorry but for the most part she is set in her ways I am afraid. I rarely get anything I ask or hint at. Best of luck.


Well, that sucks.


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## Nicbrownn80 (Mar 20, 2011)

When your start getting hot for each other just say sit on my face. She will look puzzled for a second and might give it a try because its in the heart of the moment.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Honey why are you wearing a snorkel?


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

What I did was just slide down when she is on top of me. Just slide down until your face is under her.

Haven't done this for a while. Actually wasn't as great as I thought it might be. I much prefer her on her back when I go down on her.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

michzz said:


> Well you can't very well sit her down and talk to her about it ?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


RIMSHOT!!!! :rofl:


i am intrigue by the idea though. could be interesting, but my wife, same as yours, is way to southern belle conservative


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

SadSamIAm said:


> Actually wasn't as great as I thought it might be.


what are you talking about?
it is great!

i just told my ex i wanted her to do it and she did, a couple times that i didnt even know it was coming, she just climbed up there without saying anything. most awesome.


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## Randy52 (Oct 15, 2011)

Do you go down on her in the more traditional position with her on her back and you in between her legs?? Does she enjoy that?? If so, tell her that it may be even more enjoyable with her sitting on your face.

And, you are correct...it IS incredibly hot!!


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

Randy52 said:


> And, you are correct...it IS incredibly hot!!


and the view was QUITE nice too


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## Jtaylor33 (Dec 2, 2011)

So recently my wife did this. It was actually going to be a 69 with her on top but we had been going at it a while so after a few into it I told her to stop sucking me as I didn't want to cum yet. But she stayed in the position and let me lick her. Well the best part was after a few she starts cumming hard and begins squirting in my mouth!!! OMFG that was the best ever. Now I love giving her oral, I can't imagine not doing it, but that was the most amazing thing ever. She now laughs cause when I wanna have sex I ask her if she wants to sit on my face and give her a big grin.... Good luck getting your wife to do it, I hope you get what you want, never know what you or her will like!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

Jtaylor33 said:


> So recently my wife did this. It was actually going to be a 69 with her on top but we had been going at it a while so after a few into it I told her to stop sucking me as I didn't want to cum yet. But she stayed in the position and let me lick her. Well the best part was after a few she starts cumming hard and begins squirting in my mouth!!! OMFG that was the best ever. Now I love giving her oral, I can't imagine not doing it, but that was the most amazing thing ever. She now laughs cause when I wanna have sex I ask her if she wants to sit on my face and give her a big grin.... Good luck getting your wife to do it, I hope you get what you want, never know what you or her will like!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


thats how we started out, as 69 the first time, but she didnt care for that so after we just did the her squatting over me. loved that.


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## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

theduck said:


> My sex life with my wife is pretty vanilla. It works for us since we are both relatively vanilla as far as I'm aware.
> 
> Recently, I've found the idea of her facesitting and smothering me pretty hot.
> 
> ...


I would suggest seeing a sex therapist. Sex is supposedto fun be and exciting and adventurous. If your wife cried over a dildo, she is going to have serious anxiety and possibly depression when you ask her to smother you.

Talk to a counselor.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

My husband just pulls me onto his face....the few times he's done this.

But...I'm very open about sex..so it didn't bother me. I don't like talking about it. Just do it. But i guess that's hard when your mate is vanilla and uptight about sexuality.


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## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

that_girl said:


> My husband just pulls me onto his face....the few times he's done this.
> 
> But...I'm very open about sex..so it didn't bother me. I don't like talking about it. Just do it. But i guess that's hard when your mate is vanilla and uptight about sexuality.


This makes me think the OP might have luck if he gets his wife drunk first. Really, really drunk. Be totally honest about your intentions, and tell her the alocohol will help loosen her up.


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## theduck (Jan 2, 2012)

Randy52 said:


> Do you go down on her in the more traditional position with her on her back and you in between her legs?? Does she enjoy that?? If so, tell her that it may be even more enjoyable with her sitting on your face.


Yeah, that's usually what happens when I perform cunnilingus. She's very shy so I'm going to have to handle this with a bit of tact. Knowing her, just taking the direct approach definitely won't work. 



> I much prefer her on her back when I go down on her.


I like that too. What makes this so appealing is that I'm in a position of complete submission. Having her ride my face would place her in a more aggressive role.



SockPuppet said:


> I would suggest seeing a sex therapist.


We talked about that in the past. She's not up for that kind of therapy.



that_girl said:


> My husband just pulls me onto his face....the few times he's done this.


For my wife, doing something like that would be like having anal sex by just "jamming it in".


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## theduck (Jan 2, 2012)

SockPuppet said:


> This makes me think the OP might have luck if he gets his wife drunk first. Really, really drunk. Be totally honest about your intentions, and tell her the alocohol will help loosen her up.


I really wouldn't feel comfortable getting my wife drunk for this.



stritle said:


> be careful though, i caught her off balance last time and she smashed her face into the wall. thankfully she hit higher than the headboard, that would have been bad.


That's horrible.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Having a woman sitting on your face suddenly, and jammin into her for anal sex are NOT the same thing. :rofl:

Dear god, no they're not.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Hmmmm....

Start with the two of you standing up, kiss your way down her body till you get your face located just right.... Then slowly keep pulling her forward, while you keep leaning backward.... (sounds awkward, but sometimes awkward is worth the result!) she'll be sitting on your face without realizing it...and she'll LOVE it. Next time, she may be more aggressive about it.


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## theduck (Jan 2, 2012)

that_girl said:


> Having a woman sitting on your face suddenly, and jammin into her for anal sex are NOT the same thing. :rofl:
> 
> Dear god, no they're not.


In terms of spontaneity, yes they are. My wife doesn't like spontaneity.

In terms of leaving a potentially torn and bloody membrane, assuming that I'm careful with my teeth, the two acts are quite different.



SunnyT said:


> Hmmmm....
> 
> Start with the two of you standing up, kiss your way down her body till you get your face located just right.... Then slowly keep pulling her forward, while you keep leaning backward.... (sounds awkward, but sometimes awkward is worth the result!) she'll be sitting on your face without realizing it...and she'll LOVE it. Next time, she may be more aggressive about it.


Good idea. I'll see what happens if I take it really slow.


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## OOE (Mar 17, 2011)

Or...

Start with 69. After enjoying each other for a while, ask her to flip over onto her back on top of you (so you can continue on her). Then, again after a bit, take her hands and help her up into an upright position.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

Yeah, I was sort of in that boat too.

The 'sliding down' thing works. Yes, it does.  I wouldnt make big deal out of it. If you both enjoy oral she will probably enjoy it more than you expect. I find my wife gets turned on more when she notices that Im getting really worked up... and vice versa. Its like a positive feedback loop. She never would have initiated something like this, but is 'all for it' now...

This has led to some other new things for us as well - but no need to go into detail. Lets just say its all good.

gads - im blushing. :/


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## theduck (Jan 2, 2012)

OOE said:


> Or...
> 
> Start with 69. After enjoying each other for a while, ask her to flip over onto her back on top of you (so you can continue on her). Then, again after a bit, take her hands and help her up into an upright position.


Well, I'll be planning a little something for Friday night, so I'll see what happens.



anotherguy said:


> If you both enjoy oral she will probably enjoy it more than you expect. I find my wife gets turned on more when she notices that Im getting really worked up... and vice versa. Its like a positive feedback loop. She never would have initiated something like this, but is 'all for it' now...


She loves sex. It's just hard for her to try new things. I've learnt to be understanding and patient about it.

Yeah, it's a good thing when you get turned on by the sight of your SO getting turned on and vice versa. Barring psychological or physiological issues, anyone can arouse themselves. So much more interesting to get somebody else hot and horny.


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## FrankKissel (Nov 14, 2011)

For starters, don't call it smothering or facesitting. If she's as conservative as you say, giving it a name that sounds alternately murderous or bizarre probably won't help.

Why not just, um, tell her you'd love to lick her down there while she's above you. And if she's not sure what you mean, gently put her in position to show her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TallJeff (Nov 1, 2011)

Does she ever ride you? 

My wife sits on my face all the time. But I eat her out ALOT.

Usually I just say "Come up" when we're making out and that's all she needs. I can make her cum harder this way than any other position for cunnilingus, so she's always agreeable.

So if she's ever riding you, or even before you've penetrated and she's straddling you, just put your hands on her bottom and pull her upward saying "come here, I want to taste you" or something like that.

Also a tip: if she's sitting on your face, if you lean her back , like lean her shoulders back, her clit will really stick out. Then if you tongue it quickly, she'll probably go crazy.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

hey honey I saved a seat for ya. make sure you shaved stubble can be uncofortable so I heard.


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## theduck (Jan 2, 2012)

We did it.

Sort of.

Thanks for the advice.


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## TallJeff (Nov 1, 2011)

theduck said:


> We did it.
> 
> Sort of.
> 
> Thanks for the advice.



How'd it go? Did you enjoy it? Did she cum? When will she go for another ride?


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## theduck (Jan 2, 2012)

TallJeff said:


> How'd it go? Did you enjoy it? Did she cum? When will she go for another ride?


We tried it for a few minutes and then her shyness got in the way. Mood killer.

We'll be having another go in a few days.

We both enjoyed it.


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## NewHubs (Dec 23, 2012)

I got my wife turned on doing this. At first she was shy when I first asked but she really enjoyed it.

So last week she was giving me a nude back massage and she leaned over and whispered in my ear "I'm so wet for you".
That was her clue for me to turn over. Needless to say I went to town. 
Afterwards, I gave it to her like nobody's business.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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