# What if we just chose wrong?



## sadandlonely5 (Jan 5, 2018)

After previously posting, and talking to friends and family about this issue, I have realized that this idea of opposites attract might be BS for some. Complimenting each other’s weaknesses or having different interests is different from having nothing in common and being completely opposite personalities with different attitudes and outlooks. 

Do we keep trying to fit a round peg in a square hole, or realize that sometimes you can’t fix a bad matchup with all of the compromise and therapy in the world?

What do you do when you genuinely don’t like your SO at all? Does anyone feel that when it comes down to it, we should just admit that perhaps some people just made a bad choice?


----------



## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

sadandlonely5 said:


> After previously posting, and talking to friends and family about this issue, I have realized that this idea of opposites attract might be BS for some. Complimenting each other’s weaknesses or having different interests is different from having nothing in common and being completely opposite personalities with different attitudes and outlooks.
> 
> Do we keep trying to fit a round peg in a square hole, or realize that sometimes you can’t fix a bad matchup with all of the compromise and therapy in the world?
> 
> What do you do when you genuinely don’t like your SO at all? Does anyone feel that when it comes down to it, we should just admit that perhaps some people just made a bad choice?


To answer your question in reverse order:
Yes, there are many who would be better off to simply realize they made a mistake and made a bad choice. Unfortunately too many people believe the fairy tale that marriage is forever and we owe it to the world to fight to save all of them.
If you don't like your SO, then you owe it to yourself (and to them, simply as human beings) to let them go and just move on. 
No you cannot fix a bad matchup with therapy or compromise. We each must ultimately do what makes us happy, not what the world expects of us (see my first answer, above)
Sometimes a square peg does fit in a round hole. Other times the square peg is too small and falls out. Other times it is too large and can't be squeezed in. It is up to each of us to recognize whatever the case is.

Unfortunately there are a few posters here who believe every marriage is sacred and most be saved no matter the cost. Often times it is because they, themselves were let go and refuse to acknowledge that the other person always has a right to pursue their own happiness. So rather than get on with their own lives, they choose to cling to the fairy tale of marriage for life, upholding your sacred vows or just because. I know this because I struggle with it at times myself.


----------



## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I don't think opposites attract. "Complimentary" people may attract where one makes up for the weaknesses of the other, but that is different from "opposites". 

I think that not all relationships or even marriages should continue. Sometimes you discover that you have made a mistake and things are so bad that they cannot be fixed. In those cases both will be happier if they find more compatible partners.


----------



## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

sadandlonely5 said:


> After previously posting, and talking to friends and family about this issue, I have realized that this idea of opposites attract might be BS for some. Complimenting each other’s weaknesses or having different interests is different from having nothing in common and being completely opposite personalities with different attitudes and outlooks.
> 
> Do we keep trying to fit a round peg in a square hole, or realize that sometimes you can’t fix a bad matchup with all of the compromise and therapy in the world?
> 
> What do you do when you genuinely don’t like your SO at all? Does anyone feel that when it comes down to it, we should just admit that perhaps some people just made a bad choice?


I think that is probably the case in 95% of bad marriages. It's complicated by the fact that it is such a huge life changing decision made at a time when you have very little experience in life. It also takes time and experience in a relationship to know what is important to you. 

I mean some people pick really bad, cheaters and abusers. Others just pick people who in the end don't really fit with what they expected from their mate. Intimacy, division of work, goals, money, kids, general expectations. All of those things can be deal breakers. 

Complementing weaknesses is fine to a point but if someone is broken once they get married they are just married and broken. 

I have always believed that 95% of good marriage is made at the stage of picking a mate.


----------



## sadandlonely5 (Jan 5, 2018)

I completely agree that good marriages are a result of picking a good mate. Too many of us make too many compromises, excuses and don’t fully listen to the inner voice or trust our instincts.


----------



## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Don't fall for the sunk cost fallacy. 

If you find yourself with a SO who you don't like, its time to end the marriage. Fault doesn't matter - neither of you will be happy in that situation.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

sadandlonely5 said:


> After previously posting, and talking to friends and family about this issue, I have realized that this idea of opposites attract might be BS for some. Complimenting each other’s weaknesses or having different interests is different from having nothing in common and being completely opposite personalities with different attitudes and outlooks.
> 
> Do we keep trying to fit a round peg in a square hole, or realize that sometimes you can’t fix a bad matchup with all of the compromise and therapy in the world?
> 
> What do you do when you genuinely don’t like your SO at all? Does anyone feel that when it comes down to it, we should just admit that perhaps some people just made a bad choice?


There must have been reasons why you married him?


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Ynot said:


> To answer your question in reverse order:
> Yes, there are many who would be better off to simply realize they made a mistake and made a bad choice. Unfortunately too many people believe the fairy tale that marriage is forever and we owe it to the world to fight to save all of them.
> If you don't like your SO, then you owe it to yourself (and to them, simply as human beings) to let them go and just move on.
> No you cannot fix a bad matchup with therapy or compromise. We each must ultimately do what makes us happy, not what the world expects of us (see my first answer, above)
> ...


I believe in marriage for life, apart from very serious reasons, and its not because I was 'let go'. I wasn't. So I do think you are very wrong on that assumption about why people believe in marriage for life. Marriage is a commitment, we make promises, not to be thrown away when things get a bit tough. Marriage tales work and effort. There must be reasons why people got married in the first place? Things they loved about the other person? So work on that. Too many give up far too easily, which is part of our throwaway society. Some care little about the promises they made, their commitments, or their responsibilities, but think only of their happiness and not the happiness of others. 

My husband and I are very different in so many ways, but we share our faith and values. Other differences compliment each other. He is highly logical and I am very intuitive. He is a scientist and excellent at maths, I am interested in the humanities and English, I am a prolific reader. I could list the many differences, but we are not supposed to be the same, we each make up that whole together.


----------



## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

My husband and I are polar opposites. He's a math genius, I need a calculator once I run out of fingers lol; he's a geek, I'm not; he's pro choice, I'm pro life; he's very cool, calm and collected, and thinks things through before making a decision, I am spontaneous, impulsive and intuitive. He sometimes gets so focussed on work or something he's doing at home, and I have to say "Hey, I'm here, our girl is here...we need family time". He always thanks me afterward, and asks me to keep reminding him.

But we just work...our relationship has always been easy. Any stressors have been from outside the relationship. I don't know why, he's been married before, I haven't.


----------



## BigDigg (Jan 11, 2018)

Funny...my wife and I had a really interesting conversation about "opposites attract" last night during dinner...all our close friends range somewhere from "somewhat different" to "complete opposites". My wife and I included. Perhaps there's merit to the cliche...

My thoughts - i don't think it's interests or personality differences specifically that cause marriage issues. It's maturity differences. And unfortunately it's tough to tell when you're early 20's and life is relatively easy and carefree where someone will plateau on that one. Certainly there can be signs but i have a lot of friends who were knuckleheads @ 20 who grew up to become really good people. And I've had friends that were the opposite and can't deal with life as adults...


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Opposites might attract as long as it's something cute and trivial like one liking vanilla ice cream and one liking chocolate and then compromising and getting some swirl. 

But in things that actually matter like values, core beliefs, mores etc etc, then no, opposites do not attract in the slightest and are not even healthy so let's just put that idea to bed.


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Responses in bold below




sadandlonely5 said:


> . Complimenting each other’s weaknesses or having different interests is different from having nothing in common and being completely opposite personalities with different attitudes and outlooks.
> 
> *You are completely correct. It may be complementary if different tastes and likes can help people mesh together in trivial matters. But when it comes to actual values and core beliefs and moral compass etc it is a completely different story. *
> 
> ...


----------



## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

sokillme said:


> I have always believed that 95% of good marriage is made at the stage of picking a mate.


Agreed.

A problem I see.....young men and women aren't mentored into choosing the right mate by their elders. Movies, media, etc. promote the exact bass ackwards advice.


----------



## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

My theory of decisions is something like 5% of our decisions basically can't go wrong, another 5% basically can't work out, and the remaining 90% succeed or fail based on what we do post-decision. Of course marriage is a decision and I think it applies.


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Diana7 said:


> I believe in marriage for life, apart from very serious reasons, and its not because I was 'let go'. I wasn't. So I do think you are very wrong on that assumption about why people believe in marriage for life. Marriage is a commitment, we make promises, not to be thrown away when things get a bit tough. Marriage tales work and effort. There must be reasons why people got married in the first place? Things they loved about the other person? So work on that. Too many give up far too easily, which is part of our throwaway society. Some care little about the promises they made, their commitments, or their responsibilities, but think only of their happiness and not the happiness of others.


I agree with the philosophy of what is written above, but probably differ from Diana in the execution and where the bar is on what constitutes valid grounds for divorce. 

I believe that not liking someone and not getting along with them is a "very serious reason" and is valid grounds for divorce. I don't think it is reasonable to have to wait for x-rays of broken bones and police reports and criminal charges to justify divorce. 

We are not living a hand-to-mouth existence trying to etch out a survival on the plains of Africa anymore. Our survival and the propagation of our species does not depend on a life-bond with our mate until we die at 35 anymore. 

While I understand that many bemoan our "throw away society" and think that many people bail on marriage too soon and for reasons that are not valid 'enough'. I also think that given the number of options and choices that are available to us, I think we would be remiss to endure chronic misery and despair and dysfunction when the option to get out of that situation is readily available. 

To put it more simply - why suffer if you don't have to? What is your misery accomplishing? 

Assuming you are in a modern, western, democratic culture, we live in a world of choice and options. Each of those options and choices with have risks and rewards, costs and benefits. 

Make no mistakes, divorce will cost you. But so will enduring a miserable marriage. 

Is it commitment or is it dogma? 


We're entering an era where staying is the new shame. 
And I think there is some validity to that. Given the options and choices we have and the purchasing power that the common individual has today, I really think people need to challenge their beliefs on why they feel they must endure misery of a bad union when other options are readily available.


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

OnTheFly said:


> Agreed.
> 
> A problem I see.....young men and women aren't mentored into choosing the right mate by their elders. Movies, media, etc. promote the exact bass ackwards advice.


In days of yore, a person's mate was actually picked by the elders and in many traditional societies across the globe arranged marriage is still the standard practice in one form or another today. 

But yes I agree that if people are to choose their own mates, then it is important that they be mentored in choosing well. 

And I think to go along with that, they should also be mentored in costs of choosing wrongly and be mentored in the process and costs associated with getting out of a bad marriage if they choose wrong or if their mate turned out to not be what they presented themselves to be.


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

oldshirt said:


> Is it commitment or is it dogma?


I think much of the "..till death do us part.." is dogma. And I think that dogma is responsible for much suffering and misery and outright abuse in the world. 

The only other institution in the world I can think of where you can enter but are not allowed to leave is prison. Is that really what we want marriage to be??????

Commitment is upholding your end of the agreement assuming the other person also upholds theirs. 

Holding on to a contract despite the violations of the other or despite the contract not accomplishing it's purpose is dogma. 

Dogma is enforcing rules and restrictions and holding someone under indentured servitude despite the contract not or no longer being of benefit to them. It is without choice. 

I think marriage should be a choice for both parties that either party can terminate at any time for any reason. 

cont.....


----------



## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

OnTheFly said:


> Agreed.
> 
> A problem I see.....young men and women aren't mentored into choosing the right mate by their elders. Movies, media, etc. promote the exact bass ackwards advice.


Yeah they aren't even given a realistic picture of what marriage is and isn't. But beyond that for the last 50 years it's been do what makes you feel good you are entitled, this in the end is what is going to make you happy. Or even worse happiness is the gauge in which you judge your life's success by. None of that thinking makes it easy to have a long term healthy marriage after you pick them.

As far as opposites attract that's true but I don't think in most cases that makes for a good marriage unless you can appreciate the differences and are willing to learn new things or be willing to accept different perspectives. I also think there is something to opposite physical types attract too. Like if you grew up in a family where everyone is fair, blonde, and blue eyed you may be very attracted to brunettes. I think some of that is the exotic quality that can take on. Again that's fun but maybe not the best thing to build a long term relationship on. 

Cultural differences can cause problems in marriage too. My wife and I are basically from the same social-economic background but different ethnic backgrounds though you wouldn't know that from looking at us. There are still differences. Some of the ways she shows love for me have to do with her culture I just happened to grow up around friends who had the same kind of background so I knew right away what she was doing, and I could relate to her family. I remember though when my Mom first met them she really didn't have much to talk about after the typical pleasantries. If they get onto certain subjects she can't relate. Same when my wife met my family I think we are much harsher especially in our humor and blunt then she was used to, she had to get used to that. This is the kind of thing that is rare for a Parent to teach a child. It's rare for the Parent to even understand that. 

So much of the modern dating scene seems to be built on appearance and instant attraction. Again that is really not what most of marriage is about and until about 100 year ago the West seemed to understand that. Not anymore though, now it's more fairy tales and rom-coms.


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

oldshirt said:


> I think marriage should be a choice for both parties that either party can terminate at any time for any reason.


Now I know that statement is probably pretty bold and shocking to many traditionalists and church ladies and such but please hear me out - 

If marriage is a contract by choice and either party can opt out if they do not believe they are getting out of it what they entered it for, that does a number of things. 

One is it keeps each party on their toes and in good behavior. A little bit of rational insecurity is a good thing. 

I know if I cheat on or hit my wife or abuse the kids, the only thing I will see of her is her car packed with the kids and the clothes on their back driving over the horizon in a plume of dust. There for when I see some hot chick that gives me the eye, it's just a fraction of second before I see her taillights fading in the distance. If we are getting into a heated argument and I feel my anger brewing, same thing. 

My wife knows if she cheats on me or empties out the bank accounts on trinkets and baskets or she just gets too fat and lazy to want to have any kind of love life with me, she will also be watching me pack the truck and getting served with papers. 

What holds us together is not rules and dogma and religious fervor. What holds us together is communication, negotiating and choice. 

Now I may say that a little bit of justified insecurity is a good thing and that is true. But a completely free will marriage can also foster security in the fact that if your spouse is there cuddled up to you at night, it is because they want to be there and choose to do so. They are not there because some guy in a black robe stood up in front of a church congregation and told them to. 


People talk about commitment but in today's world commitment doesn't count if it is indentured and not a choice. Duress is considered valid grounds for terminating a contract.


----------



## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

oldshirt said:


> Now I know that statement is probably pretty bold and shocking to many traditionalists and church ladies and such but please hear me out -
> 
> If marriage is a contract by choice and either party can opt out if they do not believe they are getting out of it what they entered it for, that does a number of things.
> 
> ...


I agree 100%. Adults should be treated as such. The problem you run into though is really how do deal with the assets in those cases you do need the laws unfortunately. I also think lifetime alimony should be extremely rare in today's day and age. Mostly in the case of old age or sickness. I am more for a 5 year cap to allow one spouse to get back on their feet. Besides it's not good for someone to be dependent on another person if they are not married. It keeps people locked together. 

Also it's hard to be for alimony when infidelity is not considered into the equation, that is something that needs to be fixed. If you commit adultery it should be seen as a breach of contract making all responsibilities of the other party of that contract null and void. The offending party should still be held to the contract though.


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

sokillme said:


> I agree 100%. Adults should be treated as such. The problem you run into though is really how do deal with the assets in those cases you do need the laws unfortunately. I also think lifetime alimony should be extremely rare in today's day and age. Mostly in the case of old age or sickness. I am more for a 5 year cap to allow one spouse to get back on their feet. Besides it's not good for someone to be dependent on another person if they are not married. It keeps people locked together.
> 
> Also it's hard to be for alimony when infidelity is not considered into the equation, that is something that needs to be fixed. If you commit adultery it should be seen as a breach of contract making all responsibilities of the other party of that contract null and void. The offending party should still be held to the contract though.


Yeah I am not saying there should not be divorce laws or child support or alimony etc. I'm not saying that at all. 

There needs to be divorce laws and there needs to be fair property and asset division and mandatory support of the children etc. (alimony is another topic that depends a lot on a wide variety of details)

Divorce by necessity will always carry a cost and cause a certain degree of turmoil and angst. Divorce is like a tornado, someone is going to lose a house out of the deal. 

Despite what the church ladies say, divorce is never truly cheap or easy. 

I think the less we stigmatize it and the more we educate people about it and dispel many of the myths and misconceptions about it, we can make it more accessible and affordable to the people who need it. 

But I don't think it will ever be cheap and easy to the point of people divorcing over toilet seats and toothpaste that many of the "death-do-us-part" think it will. 

I don't think divorce should be cheap and easy per se. I just don't think we should have anyone saying that people can't or shouldn't be able to get one if they wish to do so and are willing to pay the costs to get it.


----------



## sadandlonely5 (Jan 5, 2018)

oldshirt said:


> I agree with the philosophy of what is written above, but probably differ from Diana in the execution and where the bar is on what constitutes valid grounds for divorce.
> 
> I believe that not liking someone and not getting along with them is a "very serious reason" and is valid grounds for divorce. I don't think it is reasonable to have to wait for x-rays of broken bones and police reports and criminal charges to justify divorce.
> 
> ...


 I have started reading the book “Conscious Uncoupling”, and this sentiment fits right in with the message from the book. We have to evolve away from this thinking that every single marriage is meant to last forever, or that if a couple separates, the marriage was a failure and the two people failed at a relationship. 

As we live longer and have more freedoms and choices, some people might be meant to have two or three significant relationships, or that every marriage isn’t always supposed to last 80 year (if age drags life expectancy keeps climbing).


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

sadandlonely5 said:


> I have started reading the book “Conscious Uncoupling”, and this sentiment fits right in with the message from the book. We have to evolve away from this thinking that every single marriage is meant to last forever, or that if a couple separates, the marriage was a failure and the two people failed at a relationship.
> 
> As we live longer and have more freedoms and choices, some people might be meant to have two or three significant relationships, or that every marriage isn’t always supposed to last 80 year (if age drags life expectancy keeps climbing).


I haven't read the book so can't comment on that at all. 

What I do think we need to evolve away from is that society and churches and such can impose dogmatic and arbitrary "rules" on people's personal lives and who they want to be with. 

Society will need to have laws that protect minor children from parental abandonment and neglect and there will need to be laws that govern the division of marital property and assets. 

But as we go into a more populated and urbanized culture that has more personal freedoms and more financial purchasing power, it is unrealistic and probably even downright wrong to tell people they have to pick a mate in their 20s and that they must remain with that person until one of them croaks 50 or 60 years later. 

We can't have children starving in the streets running amok because their parents abandoned them so we need divorce laws and legal principles governing divorce. 

But it's crazy to try to enforce an indentured servitude for 50-60+ years on someone that no longer wishes to be with someone they liked decades prior. 

it's not that people want divorces to occur and not that they think everyone should get one because they are available. But rather in the big picture it's worse to make it so that people can't have one if they need it.


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

sokillme said:


> I have always believed that 95% of good marriage is made at the stage of picking a mate.


95% of a bad marriage is probably made at the mate picking stage as well. 

Some people are just not marriage material. 

I realize there are times when people completely misrepresent themselves and are basically imposters posing as good people. 

For that reason there has to be an affordable and accessible mechanism for getting away. 

But when people marry known cheaters and druggies and alcoholics and strippers and crack ho's and documented wife beaters and criminals, you just have to shake your head.


----------



## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

oldshirt said:


> Opposites might attract as long as it's something cute and trivial like one liking vanilla ice cream and one liking chocolate and then compromising and getting some swirl.
> 
> But in things that actually matter like values, core beliefs, mores etc etc, then no, opposites do not attract in the slightest and are not even healthy so let's just put that idea to bed.


I haven't known couples who disagreed that murder was bad, but I've know couples who seemed opposite on things more serious than ice cream.


----------



## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

oldshirt said:


> 95% of a bad marriage is probably made at the mate picking stage as well.
> 
> Some people are just not marriage material.
> 
> ...


Some people misrepresent, some others change. Probably a low % change into crack *****s, but more change into people who want to play video games all day or become hoarders or other less egregious but hard-to-live-with flaws.


----------



## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

SpinyNorman said:


> My theory of decisions is something like 5% of our decisions basically can't go wrong, another 5% basically can't work out, and the remaining 90% succeed or fail based on what we do post-decision. Of course marriage is a decision and I think it applies.


Yep


----------



## waynejoey (Jun 8, 2018)

sadandlonely5 said:


> After previously posting, and talking to friends and family about this issue, I have realized that this idea of opposites attract might be BS for some. Complimenting each other’s weaknesses or having different interests is different from having nothing in common and being completely opposite personalities with different attitudes and outlooks.
> 
> Do we keep trying to fit a round peg in a square hole, or realize that sometimes you can’t fix a bad matchup with all of the compromise and therapy in the world?
> 
> What do you do when you genuinely don’t like your SO at all? Does anyone feel that when it comes down to it, we should just admit that perhaps some people just made a bad choice?


tldr;

if you married before God then your marriage is a covenant that is perfect in heaven. "bad match" is just another one of satan's lies, he has an endless list of them. if it wasn't this excuse it would be something else.


----------



## Lila (May 30, 2014)

sadandlonely5 said:


> As we live longer and have more freedoms and choices, *some people might be meant to have two or three significant relationships,* or that every marriage isn’t always supposed to last 80 year (if age drags life expectancy keeps climbing).


I agree with the overall message, I would like to correct the bolded line to read "* few* people might be meant to have two or three significant relationships". 

One significant relationship is a luxury these days for the same reasons you ascribe to more relationships (longer lives, and more freedoms and choices). The truth is most people who divorce after a long marriage will not get a second chance at another significant relationship. Their lives will end alone without a partner. 

I think the lesson to people these days should be that marriage is not the route to happiness. Living a good and happy life by oneself is the key. It'll be what sustains the vast majority of us throughout our life because alone is where we will find ourselves eventually.


----------



## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

Lila said:


> I agree with the overall message, I would like to correct the bolded line to read "* few* people might be meant to have two or three significant relationships".
> 
> One significant relationship is a luxury these days for the same reasons you ascribe to more relationships (longer lives, and more freedoms and choices). The truth is most people who divorce after a long marriage will not get a second chance at another significant relationship. Their lives will end alone without a partner.
> 
> I think the lesson to people these days should be that marriage is not the route to happiness. Living a good and happy life by oneself is the key. It'll be what sustains the vast majority of us throughout our life because alone is where we will find ourselves eventually.


I am not usually a stats person. But I would like to know if someone actually did a study about this. 

Now I am not 70 so maybe at that age you don't feel like finding another person. That I could understand. 

But I am 54, and for at least the next 10 to 15 years I could not see myself wandering in the dark alone. 

I don't like being alone, and more than one woman it too much trouble, so I am choosing to be with one woman. 

Now, it is possible that I stumbled into the most wonderful woman that I have ever know, and we will be together hopefully until one of us is dead, and selfishly I hope it is me first. 

But according to you, I have already beaten the odds. Maybe I have. 

However, if something happened to this relationship I assure you that after a proper amount of healing I would be ass deep with women that want to be with me. 

So I would not be alone, or expect to die alone.

My point is that I BELIEVE that people that choose to be alone, choose to be alone. Or they don't want to extend the effort.


----------



## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

I say GET THE STATE OUT OF IT!


----------



## Lila (May 30, 2014)

BluesPower said:


> I am not usually a stats person. But I would like to know if someone actually did a study about this.


https://www.wf-lawyers.com/divorce-statistics-and-facts/

This is a good site with tons of statistics.



> Now I am not 70 so maybe at that age you don't feel like finding another person. That I could understand.
> 
> But I am 54, and for at least the next 10 to 15 years I could not see myself wandering in the dark alone.
> 
> ...


https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.ps...mericans-want-be-single-results-5-studies?amp

This article explains the issue with previously married/committed people not wanting to enter into relationships. Only 22% of women and 40% of men who were previously married/serious relationship wanted to get back into another marriage/serious relationship. 
Assuming your current relationship ended, your pool of available women who wanted to enter into another long term relationship would be statistically low (1:5 approximately) and that's across all age groups. So @BluesPower, you may be ass deep in uncommitted relationships but the numbers would be stacked against you for a longer term (+2 years) committed relationship. That's what I mean about being happy alone.


----------

