# How do you make it up to your partner after a fight?



## asmgx (Jun 24, 2012)

hi
this is my first post in here  so.. hi everyone.

every couple have a fight from time to time, the question is... what you do to make it up for your partner?

i made this poll to see what most people do 

PollsDB.com

let me know what you do...


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## ku1980rose (Sep 7, 2010)

Normally, to make up, I like to give them something special. Something I bought or made that says, "I thought of you today." Or making a nice dinner to say I'm sorry. 

Then, sex would be nice! :smthumbup:

However, in my current marriage (we are separating), we didn't really make up. Any fight we had turned into him giving the silent treatment for a couple of days and then going back to normal, pretending like it never happened. Never any make up sex regardless of how/when/if we made up. 

So, I guess it depends on your situation!


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## ku1980rose (Sep 7, 2010)

Oh, and you can make a poll directly on this site!


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

My husband does nothing after we fight. He barely apologizes.

Once, not long after we first started dating and had a fight - and I'd literally cried myself to sleep - I woke up the next morning with him crouched over me and touching my cheek. When I opened my swollen eyes I saw that his were filled with tears of remorse. His voice cracked when he said the words, "I'm so very sorry."

I'll never forget that for as long as I live. I put my arms around him and laid his head on my shoulder. I stroked his hair and said that I forgave him. Everyone makes mistakes.

Where is he now?  I miss the old him so much. 

If I am wrong after a fight I will apologize, and do so in a meaningful manner.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Let's see... H always brings me a gift (Card, potted plant, ect) , I always make him a special treat(Cake, cookies, ect), there's sex sometimes (depending on if I'm preggy or not), sometimes verbal apology, and of course a discussion about the fight whenever were calmed down.


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## Drover (Jun 11, 2012)

Working on this right now. Used to be we'd fight, lots of yelling. She'd name call and accuse. I was never a name caller, but I'd accuse. She'd get mad, I'd get mad. We'd be angry and resentful for a few days. 

Now, I don't (usually) argue. If she wants to fight, I (try to remember to) quietly walk away after telling her I'm not going to talk to her when she's acting this way. If she's a brat afterwards, I tell her to knock it off. We're all entitled to our opinions and disagreeing about something isn't worth treating the people you love badly over.

If I slip and say something I shouldn't, I apologize (although I should work on making sure it's seen as a sincere. my timing isn't always very good). She was never one to apologize until lately when I've been pointing out when she behaves inappropriately and tell her I think an apology is owed. It's up to her if she wants to give it, but lately she's been apologizing more.

She's starting to come around. There's nothing to "make up" for after a rational conversation.


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

We very rarely fight.
If we do have a disagreement I can be quite stubborn! But if I
Know I'm in the wrong I will apologise and go to him for a
Snuggle! If he's wrong he'll just come and hug me, apologise and make me laugh.
No grand gestures, just a hug and a kiss!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

I always apologize (and so does he) -- even if I'm wrong, I'll apologize that I said mean things, or that I didn't listen enough, or that I raised my voice. A fight takes two people, and I always apologize. And so does he.

Now -- I was married to someone who never apologized, ever, even if he was in the wrong. It was one of the major factors in the failure of our marriage.

you gotta be willing to say that you were wrong. Not, "I'm sorry if you were hurt" but "I'm sorry I hurt you". Big difference. No true apology includes the word IF.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

lamaga said:


> you gotta be willing to say that you were wrong. Not, "I'm sorry if you were hurt" but "I'm sorry I hurt you". Big difference. No true apology includes the word IF.


:iagree:


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

If we're getting miffed with each other, we'll calm down and then joke with each other. It's a good tension reliever.


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## GhostRydr (Jun 2, 2012)

When I was wrong Id apologize and give flowers

When she used to apologize, she would give me a well meaning card or write me a note.


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## asmgx (Jun 24, 2012)

i think man asking for sex after a fight is some how a "I am sorry and I admit I was mistaken".
if it is a woman fault the man wont ask for sex and wait for the woman to apologies .

from the result of the poll
http://pollsdb.com/main.aspx?QtnID=42

the majority either apologies or have sex.


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## BjornFree (Aug 16, 2012)

When we were younger we'd go at each other like rabid dogs and this would lead to some really hot and passionate sex. What would follow would be the both of us consoling each other(usually me) and then we'd go back to the sex, mostly slow gentle and the intimate kind. Then she'd apologize and expect the same of me but that's where I'd stay silent and she'd get angry again. It wasn't really until both of us were well into our forties that we started discussing our problems and actively seek solutions for them.


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## asmgx (Jun 24, 2012)

apologizing is not drama.

it is not wrong if you apologies back when she does just to make her feel better.


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## BjornFree (Aug 16, 2012)

asmgx said:


> apologizing is not drama.
> 
> it is not wrong if you apologies back when she does just to make her feel better.


Oh what can I say. I was young hotheaded and an *******. Now I'm not so young, and the hotheadedness has been tempered with maturity but the ******* still remains and he still doesn't like to apologize that often.

I found that changing her mood was much better than rationalizing why I was right and why she was wrong. But still I feel that turning it into a lighthearted and funny discussion is much better than apologizing, just to make her feel better.


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## asmgx (Jun 24, 2012)

women do not come with manual 
every woman/man has her/his own way.

so if this is work for your wife then thats good.

which is better than apologizing is not fighting at all


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