# The tears have started



## kendra2705 (Oct 31, 2010)

Hi I recently post about my problems in my relationship, no affection, no sex life , like living with a flat mate rather than in a relationship etc I have spoken to a councillor who says my demands in the relationship are no unrealistic, and my partner's attitude is childish.

I told him I had spoke to a councillor and what she said and that we could both go to councilling , he said no way put a few f words in the sentance. I have on a number of occations spoke to him and told him how much my heart is lonely due to emotional starvation. His reaction is very selfish towards me and he doen't seem to understand the concept of the word relationship.

I have pleaded with him to show me love and consideration more and he just ignores my needs .

I have left before and only when he had to try to win me back is he showing me love. then after a week or so it seems to go back to the no affection , no love , no activities together,, don't go to bed together unless he can have the tv on and his attitude has been very selfish towards me.

However when he told me to stop banging on and on and to stop aggrivating him by telling him that i'm not happy with no love life , I have decided to leave , I mean it this time , this will be the 3rd time and I am packing things up gradually and sorting things out , he is now saying I am breaking his heart and will damage him if I go because he has given his heart to me and I have hurt him, 

He is filling up with tears begging me not to go and saying that he loves me more than anyone and I am messing him up.

I have given him so much of me and when I ask him for anything he just ignores me.

When I leave he becomes the loving man he was when we met , yet if i stay he never cuddles me comes for kisses or sex but he is heart broken when I go and I mean it this time as I need to find love that is given back.

I just don't know how I am going to leave when he is a crumpled mess on the floor yet , when Im empty and I ask him to fix the mess he doesn't bother . sorry its a bit mixed up but I am at the moment also. I am only asking for some cuddles spontaneously a couple of times a month or every now and then. our sex life is non existant, as he is just not interested .:scratchhead:

Do I go and leave him a crumpled mess on the floor knowing I have done everything I can and that he just isn't enough for me. Staying isn't an option now but I don't want to see him breaking down and heart broken .


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## heavenleigh (Sep 13, 2010)

Think of yourself for a change. You have done everything you can do. I know because I am in the same situation. No love, no affection, no sex. I have finally just given up. We are buying a house together so it is hard to walk away, but we got into a very heated altercation today and I have decided to pretty much just stay away from him. I have told him many times what I need, and he just does not seem to care. I just cannot take anymore, so I have decided to sleep in another bedroom. I might as well as there is no love or affection in ours. It breaks my heart to lay in the same bed with him. I have just had enough and have decided he can do what he wants, and I will do what I want and that is the way it is going to be until we got our house is sold. You really need to walk out the door. He should of thought about this before. Tell him if he goes to counseling it might work out and you might come back, but that is the only way. Good luck!


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## kendra2705 (Oct 31, 2010)

Hi heavenleigh thanks for reply sorry to hear you are in same situation , I know what you mean about it killing you laying next to him , its the same for me just feel so unwanted we have only been together for 4 years and 4 years all but 3 months I have been fighting for affection so it's not like i haven't tried , if they are not built that way then thats how it is im afraid , wish i was a cold fish then i maybe could live with it but i'm not . good luck with yours x


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