# Evaluating divorce



## Bobby5000 (Oct 19, 2011)

A few suggestions

1. Financial Recognize that divorce will usually entails a significant decrease in your standard of living. Two households, lawyers, added other costs. 

2. Frame the question. It's basically will you and your family be happier in the long run. If you have children, you will still have to deal with your ex in many ways. You have not ended, but merely changed your relationship. Your post-marriage relationship will not be perfect, so don't expect perfection in your marriage. Some divorces are needed, but in others, the person marries someone no better than or similar to their old spouse. Some compromise and understanding may have enabled the marriage to continue. 

3. Lawyers People select lawyers based upon what they hope to achieve. The system encourages exaggerated expectations and false bravado. If the couple has 150,000 in assets, each lawyer tells the client to expect 90-100,000, each charges 40-60,000, and the client will receive 10-20,000. 

When asked about the result, each lawyer will blame the other spouse or lawyer, saying they prolonged the divorce, filed unnecessary papers, and generated needless fees. Neither lawyer is scared of the other, and instead, each is a salesman for the other. It is an adversary system with the main question, will the couple and their children keep their savings or does the money go to the lawyers. 

When asked for advice about the marriage, each lawyer will blame the other spouse for all problems, as long as the money spigot is flowing. 

4. Lawyers charge for every call, (discuss the difficulty of raising children, it's billed) though they will not remind you or complain. They may do a lousy job in many respects but one. Knowing the frequency of billing complaints, they do a beautiful job of maintaining detailed invoices which justify the work they do, regardless of the lack of results.


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