# Shutting down wifi at midnight



## Visual (Apr 12, 2013)

I am in a sexless marriage with my wife. Her excuses are that she is tired and she does not have enough sleep. She is up every night pass 1 AM. If I program the router to turn off wifi at midnight, is this too controlling? If it is too controlling, then I will not do it.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

You're still trying to solve a symptom of the problem, instead of the actual problem. She doesn't want to have sex with you. Shutting off the wifi isn't going to change that. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ericthesane (May 10, 2013)

Agree.... The use of web after midnight/too tired etc has nothing to do with wifi being turned on or off, it is but a symptom.

- I say this as someone being in the same boat as you. My wife has no interest in me sexually either; it has nothing to do with being too tired, as she always have energy to do dishes, clean, do work and read novels until the wee hours of the morning.

So, turning off wifi has zero troubleshooting value.


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## doobie (Apr 15, 2014)

PBear said:


> You're still trying to solve a symptom of the problem, instead of the actual problem. She doesn't want to have sex with you. Shutting off the wifi isn't going to change that.
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I agree with this. I stay online until 4 am sometimes, just avoiding going to bed with my ND husband. I can't bear getting into bed and lying next to him while he's asleep - I seem to feel worse about our no-sex lifestyle when I'm actually in the bedroom with him. We get on fine during the day - both work from home so we spend an awful lot of time together. However, once we get to bed, the problems seem to loom, keeping me awake and that's when I'm most unhappy about the situation. If I didn't have the internet to keep me occupied, I would read or find something else to do to avoid lying in bed awake, frustrated and unhappy.


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

So obviously, she lying about the reason for not having sex. If she keeps being unwilling to confront the root causes, then maybe key-logging software is in order....


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## Visual (Apr 12, 2013)

PBear said:


> You're still trying to solve a symptom of the problem, instead of the actual problem. She doesn't want to have sex with you. Shutting off the wifi isn't going to change that.
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I have passed on wanting to have sex with my wife. Every morning, she complains to me that she is tire and does not have enough sleep. I am tired of hearing that every morning. I am at a point that I stopped searching for the problem.


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## Scotty0310 (Apr 1, 2014)

For those of you with the problem of being in the same bed while the other is asleep, my wife does the same thing, has for a LONG time. One of the reasons why I would get so mad at her which ended up causing our current separation/divorce. I have tried to talk to her about it but she gives bullsh|t excuses, it keeps her up until the wee hours which makes her sleep in leaving me to "deal" with the kids...and I work at night so typically I dont sleep much during the day because of her, work all night and she claims to not get enough sleep. STudies have shown lack of sleep CAN/IS caused by using gadgets at night, ipod, laptop etc...but the lack of intimacy can also be caused by the excessive use of those devices. At least from what I've read.


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## Visual (Apr 12, 2013)

Shoto1984 said:


> So obviously, she lying about the reason for not having sex. If she keeps being unwilling to confront the root causes, then maybe key-logging software is in order....


I have and found nothing there.


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## CASE_Sensitive (Jul 22, 2013)

Then sounds like you're going to have to really come to terms with yourself on whether you want to stay in this marriage.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Shutting down wifi may not solve anything, but what's the down side of doing so? If anything, do it earlier in the evening, and perhaps she'll actually have a conversation with you - a few days after she stops screaming about the wifi.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Married but Happy said:


> Shutting down wifi may not solve anything, but what's the down side of doing so? If anything, do it earlier in the evening, and perhaps she'll actually have a conversation with you - a few days after she stops screaming about the wifi.


The downside? It's a passive aggressive move that will cause more resentments. You want results? Two business cards. Lawyer and marriage counsellor. Have her pick one. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Trust me, Visual! Unless she is a total mechanical dolt, she would somehow figure out, through her own computer research, how to turn that router right back on! 

It doesn't exactly take a rocket scientist to know how to cross that creek!*


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

If you cut off the router it will really piss her off especially if she's having an EA with some internet guy.


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## delirium (Apr 23, 2012)

I don't think shutting down the wifi will have the effect you're hoping for.


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## I Don't Know (Oct 8, 2013)

delirium said:


> I don't think shutting down the wifi will have the effect you're hoping for.


No but it would be funny as hell. Anf he can always tell her he's worried about her health.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## WallaceBea (Apr 7, 2014)

Why don't you TALK to her, tell her how you are feeling, and suggest you both shut the internet off for one hour each evening and spend some time together. Cuddle, talk, trade massages. Heck, start with 25 minutes a day, and see where that leads.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Visual said:


> I have passed on wanting to have sex with my wife. Every morning, she complains to me that she is tire and does not have enough sleep. I am tired of hearing that every morning. I am at a point that I stopped searching for the problem.


Then why are you posting in the "Sex In Marriage" forum?

C


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## hartvalve (Mar 15, 2014)

Probably because there is a sense of freedom here to give voice to our rants.. Even if their out of place?


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

Visual said:


> I am in a sexless marriage with my wife. Her excuses are that she is tired and she does not have enough sleep. She is up every night pass 1 AM. If I program the router to turn off wifi at midnight, is this too controlling? If it is too controlling, then I will not do it.


It's only controlling if you do it without consulting her first.

I would discuss it with her, let her know that you'd like to limit the internet access in the house after a certain time so that you two can spend quality time together, every day.

There's really no reason she should say no to something like this, provided she loves and cares about you. If she's choosing the internet over her husband, then you're in trouble.


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## Lordhavok (Mar 14, 2012)

I would be concerned with who she is talking to on the net. Sounds like she has an internet boyfriend.


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## MSP (Feb 9, 2012)

What happens when you ask her about her day and then listen attentively? Women love to talk when their husbands are trying to sleep, so take advantage of her natural instincts. 

Ed Byrne Talking about Beds and Women - YouTube


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## Sbrown (Jul 29, 2012)

Show her this Researchers Say Wi-Fi May Make it Hard to Fall Asleep - Yahoo Voices - voices.yahoo.com and tell her you're doing it so she can sleep better....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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