# Does she really want to move on or not ?



## Blackthorn684 (Jul 12, 2015)

Hello Iam new here. I have been separated from my wife now for about 4 months now. We have been married for four years with no children. Most of our marriage her grandmother and her mother have been living with us. So the majority of our marriage we haven't been alone together for more than a year. Her brother just recently moved to the states with us before we separated. months ago she was very a persisitent on getting the divorce started right after we separated. We rarely communicate with each. We only text and we literally haven't spoken to each other in months. We separated because she said that she does not love me anymore. I never cheated on her or anything like that. In the beginning of our marriage I hid a drug problem I had from her. She later found out and she stuck with me and helped me through it. I think maybe that might have something to do with it. My question is in the beginning of our separation she really wanted to start the divorce process asap and now it's been kind of left on the back burner. Is she having second thoughts about it? I'd really would like to ask ask her about it but I'm not sure. I would just like to know I guess without asking her, like is this a sign that it's not over and there's chance or am I just overthinking it. I don't know what to make of it. Any piece advice would help me greatly
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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I would think that if she wanted to get back together, she'd be talking to you.



But you need to take action now. You've been sitting around for months waiting for the axe to fall. Ask her if you want to. If she says that she does not want to reconcile, then you file for divorce.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Blackthorn684 said:


> Hello Iam new here. I have been separated from my wife now for about 4 months now. We have been married for four years with no children. Most of our marriage her grandmother and her mother have been living with us. So the majority of our marriage we haven't been alone together for more than a year. Her brother just recently moved to the states with us before we separated. months ago she was very a persisitent on getting the divorce started right after we separated. We rarely communicate with each. We only text and we literally haven't spoken to each other in months. We separated because she said that she does not love me anymore. I never cheated on her or anything like that. In the beginning of our marriage I hid a drug problem I had from her. She later found out and she stuck with me and helped me through it. I think maybe that might have something to do with it. My question is in the beginning of our separation she really wanted to start the divorce process asap and now it's been kind of left on the back burner. Is she having second thoughts about it? I'd really would like to ask ask her about it but I'm not sure. I would just like to know I guess without asking her, like is this a sign that it's not over and there's chance or am I just overthinking it. I don't know what to make of it. Any piece advice would help me greatly
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Don't try and guess what she is thinking, it will just drive yourself crazy in what if games. Its not unusual at all unfortunately for the person who leaves or wants the divorce to not follow thru and do the actual work of divorce. 

Whether she is just waiting till you file to be the "bad guy" or she isn't sure is anybody's guess. You not in her life right now so to her you are divorced so to speak. Out of sight out of mind. 

Living in limbo is never fun. You probably should meet with a lawyer, figure out the asset division/financial impact of divorce then contact her about actually getting the ball rolling.
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## Blackthorn684 (Jul 12, 2015)

I forgot to mention that a about a month ago I heard from someone that she was feeling very guilt and regretful about the whole thing. I can't just ignore that. I know it seems like I'm trying to hold on but I just can't. I obvious can't call her out on it. Are her feelings normal ?
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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Blackthorn684 said:


> I forgot to mention that a about a month ago I heard from someone that she was feeling very guilt and regretful about the whole thing. I can't just ignore that. I know it seems like I'm trying to hold on but I just can't. I obvious can't call her out on it. Are her feelings normal ?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


So if she is feeling guilty and regretful why has she not contacted you?
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## Blackthorn684 (Jul 12, 2015)

She said she can't speak to me because it hurts too much. And that she just isn't ready to speak let alone meet face to face
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## Absurdist (Oct 10, 2014)

Blackthorn684 said:


> She said she can't speak to me because it hurts too much. And that she just isn't ready to speak let alone meet face to face
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Who did she say this to? If you haven't spoken to her, how do you know?


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

if you want her to speak to you then you might want to play your Divorce hand and see what she has to say...she will respond to you...then you will know where you stand

BTW who is flipping the bill on al of these people ?


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## Blackthorn684 (Jul 12, 2015)

She said this to me via text message when I was trying to speak to her about a month or so ago
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