# feeling so low - you were all right, and i couldnt see it!



## honeybum (Mar 7, 2011)

so you were all right and it turns out, he was having an affair! it only lasted 2 months ( 6weeks of texting and one week of sex - 3 times). we went on a family holiday in the middle of them sexting each other, and i did notice something was up, but never suspected this then 2 days when we came home he went on a camping trip, and she met up with him and stayed the night. then the following week he was on a course and she came up and stayed with him for 2 nights. he says that each night the met she brought up a couple of bottles of jack daniels, and him loving his drink (not an alcoholic) he drank it. he says thats not an excuse but it didnt help things. 

I didnt find out, he told me. I knew he was having an EA but never thought it had turned physical, even though most people on here told me it would! 
My head is in absolute turmoil. one minute im so in love with him, the next i cant look at him or want to throw him out. he has shown complete remorse and has given me full access to everything. hes being very loving and affectionate but half the time i cant take it. i really want this to work out but everything seems to trigger me off. 

we have our apps this week at STD clinic which im dreading, as the stupid ******* didnt use protection! i really hate him for that the most i think, that not once but 3 times with nothing!

i dont know what to do or which direction to take


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## HurtinginTN (Feb 22, 2011)

I'm sorry you are in this situation. You are definitely not alone.


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## Lilyana (Apr 12, 2011)

To me that shows just little respect for you.. the lack of him using protection whilst in an affair. Lord knows what he could have brought home to the family. *shakes head* 

I feel kind of glad right now I haven't had sex with my hub in 6 months... or I would be really worried myself. 

I really hope you both can work it out, and he continues to be honest with you. We are here if you need us


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## paramore (Jan 11, 2011)

I am so sorry honeybum, I am kind of feeling low today too.


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## honeybum (Mar 7, 2011)

thanks guys, that means a lot. he said he did it because he didnt think he loved me anymore, but like you said lilyana, he didnt even repect me enough - even as the mother of his child to use protection. He was coming home and having sex with me too! we have been trying fro a baby, so the sex never stopped! 

when he ended it with her though, 3 days later, shes "pregnant"! even though she has an implant, and also we have been "trying" for over 2 years and i just got all clear from fertility doc. were waiting on his reslts we get tomo. of course, shes having a termination which is booked for this thursday, but hasnt asked for any money or any contributions towards it all. only that she may need some emotional support from H once its done! what a liar! H says if she starts phoning him, hes changing his number. 

I just dont know what should be our starting point. w have talked and talked and talked and then some more but it feels like were going round in circles! hes really down at the moment and i asked him was this because he missed her, he said def not, that after all this he hates her, he feels down beause he snot the man he thought he was or the husband he knows he was. he says hes a broken man. he should get inside my head, then he'll know what broken means!


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

trust me, none of us get any pleasure in being right about that truck.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

^ You are right about that.

Honey, that is good you have ann appointment for STD checks. Does she have a boyf or husband? Tell him, if she does.


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## honeybum (Mar 7, 2011)

no, shes single. but i would def do that if she had! she called at his work one night last week to bad mouth me to him. she said she would never contact him again as she understood it was over and he wanted to be with me, then 4 hours later, phones him for a chat to say sorry for turning up at his work. but then asked how he felt when he seen her!? wtf!!! he hung up and she hasnt phoned since. am dreading thurs though asd thats when her "appiontment" is and i know hes gonna get a phonecall!


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

honeybum said:


> thanks guys, that means a lot. he said he did it because he didnt think he loved me anymore, but like you said lilyana, he didnt even repect me enough - even as the mother of his child to use protection. He was coming home and having sex with me too! we have been trying fro a baby, so the sex never stopped!
> 
> when he ended it with her though, 3 days later, shes "pregnant"! even though she has an implant, and also we have been "trying" for over 2 years and i just got all clear from fertility doc. were waiting on his reslts we get tomo. of course, shes having a termination which is booked for this thursday, but hasnt asked for any money or any contributions towards it all. only that she may need some emotional support from H once its done! what a liar! H says if she starts phoning him, hes changing his number.
> 
> I just dont know what should be our starting point. w have talked and talked and talked and then some more but it feels like were going round in circles! hes really down at the moment and i asked him was this because he missed her, he said def not, that after all this he hates her, he feels down beause he snot the man he thought he was or the husband he knows he was. he says hes a broken man. he should get inside my head, then he'll know what broken means!


Let me know if you want to talk honey, I have a similar story (its on here and you can look if you like) and definately have gained some insights into somethings during recovery process that could be helpful. Sometimes it is sometimes it isn't LOL. Depends on the people. Hope you are doing okay, and post if you need to. Get it all out so you can start to understand and move past it, whether its with him or not.


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## honeybum (Mar 7, 2011)

thanks dawn. i want to reconcile and so does he. but its that things are never gonna be the same. and i have been with him ractically my whole life, since 13!! dont know what the future holds or what we will be like. wheres your story?


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## honeybum (Mar 7, 2011)

am totally obsessing at the moment! hes been away with work for 2 days and im a paranoid wreck!!!!!!!


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