# stbx is punishing me...out of his mind



## DeniseK (Jun 25, 2009)

Nick.....has lost his mind. After court today he went to work at the prison. He is throwing his weight around. He had my bro in law pulled into the office and they are interrogating him about who told about this woman and Nick.

It wasn't ever said ...who. I didn't get a chance...his lawyer wouldnt let me say it. Adn now my bro in law is having his job threatened. 

Nick must have wanted me to tell h im that after court. He told my bro in law that he wanted to beat the h*** out of him. This is serious.

I do not want a man who would do this to have my kids at all. He is crazy. It wasn't my bro in law. It was a girl who teaches at the school. She said the woman told them herself.

I told this to my lawyer. And now I have put in a call....to see if he can contact Nick's attorney to get him under control. He is on the cert team which is an elite team up there that is run by the dept warden. I have no control over what he does at the prison. But after he got the special treatment because his daddy works at the county....you'd think he would keep this to himself.

He has violated the prison policy..by telling me things that happen up there...stuff they aren't allowed to talk about. Does he not think that he could be in serious trouble too.

Oh crap....this is so wrong. Has he not hurt me enough? help please.


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## no1.daddy2kids (Jul 29, 2009)

I am not trying to scare you, but you need to be careful here. If he is doing this, what is to say he won't do something to you or the children. Is there any other suggestions your lawyer has concerning this? I would feel threatened for my own safety if this were going on.


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## DeniseK (Jun 25, 2009)

help me here...no1daddy. I am so scared to let my kids go with this man. What do I do. I am going to talk to my lawyer tomorrow. My sister is fit to be tied


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## no1.daddy2kids (Jul 29, 2009)

I think you need to get in touch with law enforcement if they are not involved in the scandalous things going on there. Either that or get out of there! May be a good time to go visit that friend out of state. I know there is school issues, but place a call to the school, tell them what is going on. Yours and your kids safety is more important than anything.

One question - do you live out and about, or are you in a public area/neighborhood? If so, have you had any contact with your neighboors? Maybe they will be sympathetic to what is going on. Maybe they can help keep an eye out for any suspicous activity as well.


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## DeniseK (Jun 25, 2009)

Live in a close neighborhood. Most of my neighbors are old women...the house next to me is empty. My sister lives a few houses down from me. But it's not that. I am afraid of his retaliation to me....with the kids. I didn't do any of this...I simply threw it up in his face...the things he said...doing a cycle of steroids....the texting in the night. The rumors of the other woman. 

And what? Why would he feel the need for vindication if he is so innocent?

What do I see in this man? Why do I love him at all? I'm so confused. It would help if he had talked to me at all...instead of ignoring me. He said he still has strong feelings for me...what?! Hate? This is frightening. He is acting like a five year old ....not a teenager who is trying to get back at his girlfriend...not a man who loves his kids and wife.....by how...instilling fear in me?


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## no1.daddy2kids (Jul 29, 2009)

If he talked to you, it would have left you more confused. I think you need to start separating from him mentally. Obviously he does not love you in the way you need. You need to start looking for YOUR needs. Thats the question to ask - What do you see in this man? Why do you love him? And think of the answers in terms of who he is now, NOT who you fell in love with.


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## DeniseK (Jun 25, 2009)

well. I don't know him. I wish I understood. My problem is...how do I protect my kids. And I can't. This is all I really care about right now. I can only hope he will be afraid enough of losing his job to hurt one of them.

this was what he said when asked about steroids. "i wouldn't jeopardize my job. I love my job. I don't want to end up in a prison...so I would never use steroids."

NOtice what was missing. Wife...kids.....life. Nope...none of that none sence.... just the job. It's his life now. All he wants. But he will get his visitation....standard. And he better hope he never harms a hair on their head.

I don't trust him....I don't understand him. How can someone you love cause you so much fear? I'm a bit depressed.....and feel very alone...and scared over all of this. But mostly...I'm jsut so very very exhausted.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

Denise,

He sounds like an angry erratic person. You have every right to be on alert. If you stay in the house...let your neighbors know that if they see anything suspicious at the house to call 911 (explain what your husband is doing). Change your locks.

Alert you family as well. Tell them that you will "touch base" by a certain time daily. That way, if they haven't heard from you, they can call. 

Let your attorney know your fears and what is happening. Ask him/her what should you do?

Attend church and get some support for you and the kids. Spiritual support. I know, even if you're pissed at GOD....it might make you feel better. The kids will feel/see this as positive.

Keep posting. We are here for you!!


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## no1.daddy2kids (Jul 29, 2009)

2nd what corpuswife has said. Every word. I really like the idea of touching base with someone else. Maybe even a couple times a day. Also like the spiritual support item at church. If you have good relations with the staff, they may have ideas too. Remember YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I agree on the scared part, the depressed part, the nervous and exhausted. but not alone. 

Do the kids know of the issues you are afraid of for the safety? It is not nice, and I am not sure how to tell them, but you may need to explain the issues about their safety to them so they can be fully on the alert. There may be times when they will be away from you and they need to be in a group! They can't be alone, or they may have issues.


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## no1.daddy2kids (Jul 29, 2009)

I was just re-reading the thread and a call to the school to put them on alert may be wise just because. I know the school my daughters goes to takes the safety aspect pretty seriously. Any time there are issues, a bulk phone call goes out to the district with warnings of safety topics of drive bys, strange vehicles, or such. Having them notified so the kids don't get released to him or to have the school notify you if he goes to get them or something may be a good thing to have. I would imagine any decent school would take this seriously.

I realize that this is more work and more to worry about, but it does get more eyes and people aware of the dangers and the situation. I would think more is better in this case.


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## DeniseK (Jun 25, 2009)

They dont know..but I told them about visiting their daddy before all heck broke loose. They weren't worried at first. And I was so glad. Then...the 8 year old...started asking if my oldest was going...and I told him no.

He says...if he doesn't go...then I'm not going. It isn't fair...why doesn't he have to go. I finaly explained that my oldest isn't daddy's real son...(though he raised him and said he was). Adn he understood that...but it was more like....oh mom...it's not fair. Adn my youngest says...if I go you have to go....to my 8 year old.

So I just told them...it's okay. I'll still be here. You'll have a good time.

Lies....all of it. Cause I am terrified. Especially now.

My mom found out and completely lost it. She was ready to go off half ****ed to the prison and demand to talk to the warden. Yep...that'll show him mom.(sarcasm). I jsut need things to calm down...that is what this situation needs ...some cold water.

But he won't have that.....for some stupid reason.


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## JDPreacher (Feb 27, 2009)

Go file for a TRO to keep him away from you and the kids...if you have an attorney, have him file it...the be prepared for the hearing to extend the order.

Preacher


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## DeniseK (Jun 25, 2009)

Happened again today. Brother in law got moved from his job to one he doesn't like. It was because of Nick. Nick Is on the elite team and he is still pushing to get him fired. 

He hasn't called..or texted me either. And funny. My lawyer doesn't return my calls. Never called me back today. I am going to the office tomorrow.

I am ready to just give up. If he pays me peanuts ....so what. Who cares if me and the kids make it.....or if we have to get assistance....I mean...he works for the government. He deserves the extra cash to run around.

Hate ...hate hate small towns where everyone knows everyone. It isn't how good you are or what you do right...it's who you are.

Oh well....I'm exhausted. So....later.


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## Rhea (May 16, 2009)

Denise...Nick needs serious help. Sounds like they're all a part of his game too. Wow. This is craziness. Can these other people not see what he's doing? Or do they choose to ignore it. Is Nick on Shakedown? Is that the "elite" team he's part of? My ex was on Shakedown...well before he got himself kicked off.


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## DeniseK (Jun 25, 2009)

Cert team. It's the dept warden's group. They are the "Police" of the prison. Of course this is Ga...so it might be the same thing....they also have a tact squad...which he was on before this.

His sargent came by on Halloween last year and told me that nick was his pick for the team adn that he didn't regret it...but for me to be patient. He didn't want it to ruin our marriage like it did his. I looked at nick then and thought...nah....but now...looking back...the man is on a power trip. The prison did this to him.....that was the moment he changed. And most of them are like that. They think they are above everyone like they are above the prisoners.....they are so perfect and so grand.

But leaving your family is not perfect or grand. And he is just a big ol bully. And if he keeps it up...he will self destruct. Too bad it didn't happen while there was still a chance for us...before that other woman.

Oh and here is the gist of what happened....

the two of them went to the warden and my bil was brought in.....he and this woman came in together.....and they began accusing. Nick said..."you are the only one she(me) knows who would know what ws going on here.) Warden leans over the desk and says to my husband..."Is there something going on here?"

He denied it over and over...and so did she...but she bad mouthed me real proper. So....what does that tell you? is he scared that I found something out. Was he really texting her and it was just as friends? Are they messing around? He gets caught and guess what....he lied under oath. I think he did.....I'm not so sure that they are sleeping together....but I am almost positive that they were texting....probably a lot. still a lie under oath.

Should I push it....I don't know. I think I may throw him a bone here. Just take the stupid drug test...submit to one and I will drop all this about the other woman..... I am considering it....seriously.

throw cold water on the situation....that is what I want to do. I am finished fighting ....for him and against him. I don't have the emotional capacity to face this demon. And I can't afford to let my kids pay the price for it.


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## pierrematoe (Sep 6, 2013)

*Re: Re: Update & Why Does it Feel Like I'm Starting Not to Care - Scary*



ComicBookLady said:


> The goal is to see if she feels differently than you on any of these things. If she does, you have a choice as to what you want to do about it (if you choose to do anything). Remember, this is not about YOU doing anything wrong, (which you're NOT), it's about figuring each other out so you can be compatible with your needs. Her feelings and thoughts could be valuable tools as to how to best proceed on your end


You're so kind and I get what you're saying..........

What if her needs don't include sex? What if it's just not important to her even if it's important to me? 

I love you honey and all the money you make but sex isn't my thing anymore although it was at certain times so I'm just opting out. 

And here is my most important point, is there anything worse than non-enthusiastic duty sex? No sex is better than that. Anyone disagree?


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