# unhappy wife



## jadams14 (Jun 3, 2012)

Hello everybody this is my first time and i never thought that would have to. I will first by saying me and my wife have been together 17 years and we just had our 16th aniverary thsi May. When we met and got married i was in the Army getting ready to go over seas so she knew what I did for a living. While I was stationed overseas i was gone 18 month out of the first 24 months of our marriage. We made it through that so I thought that we were going to together for the rest of our lifes. We moved to Texas where I got hurt and was unable to continue in active duty but stayed in the reserves so i coukd retire. We then went to the police academy where we were the first married couple to complete the academy. I later started working for acity department where I ended up getting fired. This killed me and almost killed our marriage because of the financial hardship I was out of work for almost a year until in 2008 I was hired by another police department. Ten months after I started she decided that she was moving back home to be with her parents.
I know that I am wrong for not with her when she left but I stayed in Texas working for two more years. In November 2010 I resigned to move back to be with her. When I got up north with her we started get back to normal but I was unable to get a job so I started taking it out on her getting into arguments. I ended up fi di g a job overseas wirking as a contractor online so I told how much it paid and she told me when am I leaving. So I thought she was ok with me going because it was going to help us get a house and move out of her parents house. She never once told me that she did not want me to go. So I finally got over there in November of last year. I was suppose to be home in March on vacation but was not able to come home. I finally got home in May where I took her to Cozumel for our aniversary. Well just before I was due to come home she told that one our friends accused her of sleeping around a long time male friend. I believed her that there was nothing going on because up to this point in our marriage she has never given me a reason to think otherwise. 
We go on vacation and come back upon returning home I went to see my family without her because she had to go back to work. I was suppose to leave to go back overseas the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend, but I was told not fly due to a stituation out of my control. So we enjoyed the weekend at the campground with her family.
We came home Monday and I could tell something was wrong. I finally asked her several times to which I got she is not happy. That was when it came out that she had all intentions of calling it quits when she moved back home but gave me a chance but that did not think that it would be two years. I also found out that she was not happy that I took the job. She told me that she saw how nappy I was when I got the job tnat she did not want to stop me. I told that if she would have told me how she felt I would have taken tbe job because our marriage was more important. When I asked her if we could try to work this out I got "I DON'T KNOW." 
I dropped it but for the next two nights I could not sleep and kept getting sick to my stomach because I started believing that there was another guy involved. So i asked if there was anything else going on that I needed to know and got a blank stare. We talked about us but did not get any where. Last Friday I was paying the cell phone bill so I looked at her phone usage and saw one number that was called everyday for long periods of time. I am talking about two hours at a time. I went outside and sat down across the table her and I asked her if there was something going on between her and the OM. 
She told me that she had feelings for him. I told her that I was going to quit so we could try to work through this and she told that was jjst another tning that I could blame her for. She believes that I blame her for forcing me to move home from Texas. I told her that if we were going to work this out she needed to stop all commications with him and I got nothing but her yelling at me blaming it all on me. We left the campgrounds on the way back home at wnich time I asked her two questions. First question was she ever told him she lived him to which J got a yes and that they had just kussed twice. I forget what the other question was but the answer was no. 
We continued to talk when we got home. I had told some personal things about that I had never told anybody. The problem is that I know that I snould have told her earlier in our marriage but I was scared to tell her for an unknown reason. 
So I now think that she believes our marriage was filled with lies and secrets. Now at this point I think I have pushed her towards him. I told her that would her the weekend to think so I will find out how she is feeling within the next couple of days. Any help on this matter please.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Please split up your post into paragraphs. It will help folks make it through the text.


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## jadams14 (Jun 3, 2012)

Thanks for the advise. Sorry first time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

The two of you have lived apart most of your marriage. You cannot have a marriage like that. You have live together to maintain your bond.

She's using the things you told her as an excuse. She's been lying to you. So now she's using that to accuse you of lying to her to get herself off the hook.

I really don't know if you can save this marriage. If you want to try, then get the book "Surviving an Affair" by Dr. Harley. It will tell you a lot of what you need to do.

You would also need to quit your job and live in town so you can see her a lot, or live with her.

I doubt she has told you the entire truth. Most cheaters tell only what they feel will bet their spouse to back off.

Is this other guy married? Or does he have a girlfriend.

(And I agree.. edit your most. Break it up into paragraphs. It also reads like you wrote it very fast. There are some missing words, etc. So editing it would help. I usually write my posts in MS Word and then copy them here. It's a lot easier to write something that is easier to read that way.)


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## jadams14 (Jun 3, 2012)

The guy was married, divorced had a girlfriend and now is single. I told that I was going to quit but she said that would be just another thing to blame her for. The big problem I have is that she told me to go because we were hurting financially and we needed to buy our own house. She told me that she could make this one more year. I told her that she would have told that she did not want me to go I would have not went. 

It was written pretty quick and I did make some changes to it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

jadams14 said:


> The guy was married, divorced had a girlfriend and now is single. I told that I was going to quit but she said that would be just another thing to blame her for. The big problem I have is that she told me to go because we were hurting financially and we needed to buy our own house. She told me that she could make this one more year. I told her that she would have told that she did not want me to go I would have not went.
> 
> It was written pretty quick and I did make some changes to it.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I am sure that she also did not realize the toll this separation would have on your relationship. 

Have you been sending money home to her so she had more to live on?


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## jadams14 (Jun 3, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> I am sure that she also did not realize the toll this separation would have on your relationship.
> 
> Have you been sending money home to her so she had more to live on?


The money from my pay goes right into our joint account so that is not a problem. The only reason that I went in the first place to clear up our credit and pay off our vehicles then with the money we had left was to buy our first house. Because with moving around so much we only rented. But she told the other day that she did not want me to go now when told her that I was going to quit she got angry because I would blame her for having to quit to save our marriage. I have told her I would do anything to try and save our marriage to including counselling. I have not got any response from her about it. The problem I told her was when we talked Friday she told me that she was going to tell me about this weekend because it had to come out. I asked her when would she have told me if I had left last weekend because I was at my parents house until Friday and was suppose to leave Sunday. I think she only said that because I found out about them.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

jadams14 said:


> I had told some personal things about that I had never told anybody. The problem is that I know that I should have told her earlier in our marriage but I was scared to tell her for an unknown reason.


How is this cryptic piece of information relevant to your situation?


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

How old are you now? How many kids?


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## jadams14 (Jun 3, 2012)

morituri said:


> How is this cryptic piece of information relevant to your situation?


Years ago I had told her that I was engaged when in fact I never was so she seems to think what else have I been hiding from her and there has been nothing. 
I'm currently 44 and she is 42. No kids not able to have any.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Are you going back to your job? If not, do you think you will be able to find work quickly where you are? Not having work will not help save your marriage. 

You need to let her know what life will be like for her without you. One thing that you can do to help this is open bank accounts in your own name. Have your pay go to your personal accounts. Pay only bills like the cars. Do not give you any money to spend. You take control of your own money. Let her live on her money.

Let her pay for the car she drives and anything that is hers. 

She's using you to provide for her finacially then has a bf on the side. Not cool at all.

Do her parents know about her bf? Let them know that while you are off working to support her and buy her a house she's cheating.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

jadams14 said:


> Years ago I had told her that I was engaged when in fact I never was so she seems to think what else have I been hiding from her and there has been nothing.
> I'm currently 44 and she is 42. No kids not able to have any.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Why did you tell her such a silly lie?


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## jadams14 (Jun 3, 2012)

I guess i was scare to loss her because she was my first and i kept that from her to because i thought she would think different of me. I guess i didnt give her the credit she so deserved at the time and that also came out in this argument that i thought so little of her to tell earlier in the marriage. By this all coming i think i might have pushed her more to him then ever. I have asked her if she would willing to stop talking to him so we can try and work this out. I had thought she had stopped but i found a text message him first thing this morning and confronted her about it.


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## jadams14 (Jun 3, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Are you going back to your job? If not, do you think you will be able to find work quickly where you are? Not having work will not help save your marriage.
> 
> You need to let her know what life will be like for her without you. One thing that you can do to help this is open bank accounts in your own name. Have your pay go to your personal accounts. Pay only bills like the cars. Do not give you any money to spend. You take control of your own money. Let her live on her money.
> 
> ...


No her parents don't know what is going on and I don't know if I should be the one to tell them or should she. I also told her that I would quit my job if we had a chance to work through this. I know that things will never be the same but I told I would like to give a chance. But she told me if I quit I would just end up blaming her for quitting.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

jadams~

From what I can see here's what it comes down to: you married a lady 16 years ago, and for most of those 16 years you two have lived apart: sometimes on different continents. While you were together, you were often unemployed and would "take it out on her" (using your own words). While you were apart, she either got lonely or just ended up spending time with someone else. I'm not saying that was the RIGHT thing to do, but seriously you can't expect a person to be alone forever. 

So I say make up your mind if you want to be MARRIED to her and share her life...or if you want to be single and live continents apart. I don't see any way for this marriage to survive with you two continuing to live apart--money or not! Look, people have been poor and their marriage was fine because they pulled together and worked through it as a team. I don't see you to together, and when you ARE together, I don't see you working as a team. 

So just decide that far. You want her, you are going to have to quit living continents away and find a way to be with her and share your lives together.


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## jadams14 (Jun 3, 2012)

The first thing is that she know that I was in the military before we even got together and married. So she knew that I could be gone for long periods of time and she has told me that she understood that. The last two years that we were apart she made the decision to move back home to her parents and at that time I was retired from the military and just started a new job. She wanted me to quit to move up with her where there was no jobs. I know that this is both of our faults and I take more of the blame but she left me then.

I moved back up with her and finally found a job and started working at which time we were getting better. When I got the job I had already applied for the job overseas with her blessing. I told her that if she had came right and told me that she did not want me to go I would not have went. She told me that we could make it through the year. Then the month before I was coming home to see her to go on vacation with her she started seeing the other guy. Now I was suppose to have already left but held up here in country. So we have had several arguments about her still wanting to see him while I am still here. I asked her for the respect of our years we have together to at least stop seeing while I am here and she is refusing to.

I want so much for this to work that I told her that I was going to quit the job so we can work on our marriage but she told me that was just another thing I could blame for. I attempted to try and start over with to try and do the right things this time but she is so against that the only reason I am trying to do these things is because of what is going on with the other guy and her. I told she was right but I am willing to get past this if she is. The other day we had a good day so I wanted to go watch the sunset with her and she started an argument so she didnt have to go.


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

From what I am reading you are fairly unstable in the job department. That in and of itself is a turn off to many women. Then the living apart. Back in the 70's I was single and in the Air Force and I got orders to go to Turkey. Most of my friends that I made there were married and living downtown in Ankara (the capitol). All were Christians of one sort or the other and all did not bring their wives (there were about 9 of them). They all had the option of doing a one year unaccompanied tour or a two year tour with their wives. They all opted for the one year tour, without their wives. All of them ended up divorced. I have stayed friends with a few of them over the years. As a young man I came to this conclusion (I may be wrong) that what these men were telling their wives was that you are not that important to me. I will go spend a year of my life apart from you even though you could be with me. None of the guys cheated. I was with them quite a bit and we became very close. One by one they got the letter. My best friend Sam lived in the dorm with me and he would spend time with me downtown and he also was married and could have brought his wife and did not. He ended up getting a letter from his mother saying his wife was filing for D. Upon his return from turkey his mother called me to come visit because Sam was very depressed. I spent several weeks with him. Sam did ok, has a new wife and grown kids. 

Living apart is tough. When I read your posts you seem not to really care or you would do everything to be with her. I don't ever agree that cheaters should be given a pass and I am not about to give your wife one, but brother given your history why would a woman want to be with you when you are not around much in the marriage. You seem better suited for a single life.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

What is the point of making money to buy a house if you have no marriage to come back to?

It sounds negative but it's also the truth when I say I think she pushed you to go in the end so she can have time to explore her relationship with the OM. I predict if he works out you will be getting dumped by her in the next year. 

I think you should have stayed or found a way to bring her with you. Her relationship with him is deeper and more physical than she has admitted and she is planning on continuing it 

Maybe you should be finding a good way to check on her while gone. You mentioned that someone else has already noticed their dating and raised a flag about it. You should contact them and hear what they say. 

Don't let this just go on. You'll be wasting a year making money for a wife who is at home cheating.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Neither of you has been honest with each other about what you need or want in a marriage. You let her go back to her parents for two years, she let you go overseas to work ... Your entire 16 year marriage seems dysfunctional. Saying that she knew you were in the military when you met is a cop-out; how was she supposed to know how that would affect your marriage? And you haven't been in the military for years, yet you're still living apart for years at a time.

Honestly, after 16 years of dysfunctionality (is that a word?), I wonder what it is you're still wanting to fight for now. Apparently, you both have no issues being apart from each other. You don't have kids or a house even to tie you together. Unless you're both willing to invest 100% into the marriage (which would include living in the same location, going to counseling, giving up contact with the OM, etc), I'd say your odds are pretty bleak. Actually, I think they're pretty bleak even if you do all that, but they're much worse if you don't.

To continue with what Thorburn said, if this is her first affair, I'd be surprised. Many people, after that many years of separation and neglect (on both your sides, not just yours) would want to fill their need to be connected physically and emotionally. That doesn't make what she did right; she always had the option of ending things before she strayed. But just like a guy who gets sex once a year, sometimes it's more understandable why a spouse would cheat than in other situations. I'd also be very surprised if they just kissed, but that's another story...

Sorry to be so cynical, but there's my thoughts... 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

jadams14 said:


> Hello everybody this is my first time and i never thought that would have to. I will first by saying me and my wife have been together 17 years and we just had our 16th aniverary thsi May. When we met and got married i was in the Army getting ready to go over seas so she knew what I did for a living. While I was stationed overseas i was gone 18 month out of the first 24 months of our marriage. We made it through that so I thought that we were going to together for the rest of our lifes. We moved to Texas where I got hurt and was unable to continue in active duty but stayed in the reserves so i coukd retire. We then went to the police academy where we were the first married couple to complete the academy. I later started working for acity department where I ended up getting fired. This killed me and almost killed our marriage because of the financial hardship I was out of work for almost a year until in 2008 I was hired by another police department. Ten months after I started she decided that she was moving back home to be with her parents.
> I know that I am wrong for not with her when she left but I stayed in Texas working for two more years. In November 2010 I resigned to move back to be with her. When I got up north with her we started get back to normal but I was unable to get a job so I started taking it out on her getting into arguments. I ended up fi di g a job overseas wirking as a contractor online so I told how much it paid and she told me when am I leaving. So I thought she was ok with me going because it was going to help us get a house and move out of her parents house. She never once told me that she did not want me to go. So I finally got over there in November of last year. I was suppose to be home in March on vacation but was not able to come home. I finally got home in May where I took her to Cozumel for our aniversary. Well just before I was due to come home she told that one our friends accused her of sleeping around a long time male friend. I believed her that there was nothing going on because up to this point in our marriage she has never given me a reason to think otherwise.
> We go on vacation and come back upon returning home I went to see my family without her because she had to go back to work. I was suppose to leave to go back overseas the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend, but I was told not fly due to a stituation out of my control. So we enjoyed the weekend at the campground with her family.
> We came home Monday and I could tell something was wrong. I finally asked her several times to which I got she is not happy. That was when it came out that she had all intentions of calling it quits when she moved back home but gave me a chance but that did not think that it would be two years. I also found out that she was not happy that I took the job. She told me that she saw how nappy I was when I got the job tnat she did not want to stop me. I told that if she would have told me how she felt I would have taken tbe job because our marriage was more important. When I asked her if we could try to work this out I got "I DON'T KNOW."
> ...


You've also glossed over a few things... What about the 10 years of your marriage between your getting out of the military and her leaving for her parents (the bulk of your marriage). I'm sure a lot more happened in there other than you found a job with a city department and then got fired. Why did you get fired? How was your marriage during that period, when you were actually living together? What reason did she give for moving back home to her parents that you thought this was an acceptable idea? Why was she living with her parents, instead of getting her own place? Did you check the phone records to see how far back her conversations with this OM go? Do you know him, and why they connected? And how old we're the two of you when you met? How long we're you together before you got shipped out (dating and married)?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## OldWolf57 (Mar 20, 2012)

Man will you just do what Elegirl said. You had a good run, well a run anyway, but this chick has been getting her needs met for years in others bed. We are not trying to beat up on you, but if you was not so close to the situtiation you would see it too. She tried to head you off in case that person told you while you was there, by saying someone accused her. And in case you have not read any threads, exposing to everyone, especially to family, is a damn near sure fire way to stop an affair. You NEED to tell her parents.


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## Humble Pie (Feb 28, 2012)

jadams14 said:


> Years ago I had told her that I was engaged when in fact I never was so she seems to think what else have I been hiding from her and there has been nothing.
> I'm currently 44 and she is 42. No kids not able to have any.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


what was the motivation behind saying this to her?


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## Humble Pie (Feb 28, 2012)

jadams14 said:


> The guy was married, divorced had a girlfriend and now is single. I told that I was going to quit but she said that would be just another thing to blame her for. The big problem I have is that she told me to go because we were hurting financially and we needed to buy our own house. She told me that she could make this one more year. I told her that she would have told that she did not want me to go I would have not went.
> 
> It was written pretty quick and I did make some changes to it.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


she might have been telling you to go to line up herself with this other man


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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

jadams14 said:


> The money from my pay goes right into our joint account so that is not a problem. The only reason that I went in the first place to clear up our credit and pay off our vehicles then with the money we had left was to buy our first house. Because with moving around so much we only rented. But she told the other day that she did not want me to go now when told her that I was going to quit she got angry because I would blame her for having to quit to save our marriage. I have told her I would do anything to try and save our marriage to including counselling. I have not got any response from her about it. The problem I told her was when we talked Friday she told me that she was going to tell me about this weekend because it had to come out. I asked her when would she have told me if I had left last weekend because I was at my parents house until Friday and was suppose to leave Sunday. I think she only said that because I found out about them.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Are you in the habit of blaming her for things in your marriage beyond her control? What are your expectations of her while you are overseas in regards to the management of finances and her ability to handle life without you while you are overseas? Have you ever belittled or criticized her decisions? Are there some control issues involved?

It must be very hard for her to maintain a marriage while spending most of the time as a single person with an overseas spouse. Added to that, there are no children involved. I'm not excusing her being involved with another man - which in and of itself is a deal breaker, but when she feels that you would blame her if you were "forced to quit" is a sign that there might be some history to that statement.


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## jadams14 (Jun 3, 2012)

I am not understanding some of the things that everybody is saying because what is being said is that everything all my fault. When we got into a dating relationship she knew that I was in the military and that there was a chance that we would spend a lot of time apart. We made it through all of that and we were still happy with no changes. We had some problems after I got fired because we were having to live off her salary only and were struggling but she had never ran on me through all these years. Even when she moved home to her parents she never cheated on me. This never started until a month before I was coming home from Iraq. When I got this job I had started working as a security guard and when I finally found out that I was going to training for the job she didnt feel she could tell me not to go because she told me that she did not want to stop me for doing what I wanted to do by going over there. I told her that if we would have sit down together and talked this out about her true feelings about me going I would never have went but she did not the confidence in me to believe that I would have stayed with her over the job.


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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

jadams14 said:


> I am not understanding some of the things that everybody is saying because what is being said is that everything all my fault. When we got into a dating relationship she knew that I was in the military and that there was a chance that we would spend a lot of time apart. We made it through all of that and we were still happy with no changes. We had some problems after I got fired because we were having to live off her salary only and were struggling but she had never ran on me through all these years. Even when she moved home to her parents she never cheated on me. This never started until a month before I was coming home from Iraq. When I got this job I had started working as a security guard and when I finally found out that I was going to training for the job she didnt feel she could tell me not to go because she told me that she did not want to stop me for doing what I wanted to do by going over there. I told her that if we would have sit down together and talked this out about her true feelings about me going I would never have went but she did not the confidence in me to believe that I would have stayed with her over the job.


No, I was not saying it was your fault at all. I was posing questions to see if you could search within yourself to reach some sort of insight to help you to understand "if" she has a valid argument, nothing more. 

There is no excuse for cheating, period. She did wrong. However, it takes two to make a marriage work. She said she didn't tell you her feelings about the job because she felt you would "blame her". Is there any validity to that accusation? You are human. So is she. Nobody is blaming you for her infidelity, but somewhere along the line your marriage got disconnected. If you want to save your marriage, you need to look inside and see how you treated her. Perhaps there is a chance of reconciliation. Perhaps there isn't. Nobody can answer that but you.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I also wasn't blaming you. Mostly asking questions. You both contributed to the demise of your marriage, but since you're the one here asking questions, it may seem like you're getting the heat. But you can't change her actions, only your own.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jadams14 (Jun 3, 2012)

To your question about there being any validity to the accusation that she is making against me is so far from the truth. Her only thing that she can bring up when we are arguing is the fact that I was working in Texas while she went back to her parents for two years. I have told her that I take the blame for that and she will not let it go. She met this guy when she was up here by herself but he had a girlfriend at the time then he stopped coming around for over a year and a half. He just came back around in March. I think he is using the two years against me with her filling her head with if he loved you why would he stay away. The only reason that I stayed is because I was working as a police officer there and I was scared to move up there because I knew that once I moved up there I would not be a cop any more. That is not a good reason to stay either and I have told her that I can forgive what she has did to me if she can get over those two years.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

jadams14 said:


> To your question about there being any validity to the accusation that she is making against me is so far from the truth. Her only thing that she can bring up when we are arguing is the fact that I was working in Texas while she went back to her parents for two years. I have told her that I take the blame for that and she will not let it go. She met this guy when she was up here by herself but he had a girlfriend at the time then he stopped coming around for over a year and a half. He just came back around in March. I think he is using the two years against me with her filling her head with if he loved you why would he stay away. The only reason that I stayed is because I was working as a police officer there and I was scared to move up there because I knew that once I moved up there I would not be a cop any more. That is not a good reason to stay either and I have told her that I can forgive what she has did to me if she can get over those two years.


You two were living in Texas and you had a job there. 

Then she unilaterally move away leaving you in Texas. 

And now you are going to appologize? For what? She is the one who needs to appologize for making a unilateral decision that wa not good for your marriage.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Why did she move away? And why didn't you take steps to either stop that from happening or stop the marriage at that point?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BigLiam (May 2, 2012)

This woman always had the option to divorce. She is totally responsible for cheating and equally responsible for some of the logistical problems in the marriage.
If the distancing was too much for her, she could have divorced.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Was the relationship with this guy physical?


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## jadams14 (Jun 3, 2012)

Her accuse was that she was no longer happy in Texas and that she wanted to move back to her family. Even though we had been away for over 14 years on our own. So she moved back home to her parents house. Then later told me that if I had not came back when I did she was going to leave me but never did. What I can not wrap my head around is the fact that she made almost six months and I had one month before I came home when she started and still is seeing the other guy.
She is not to apologize for coming back because she thinks she what she did was right even though it now could cost us everything we have or had. Now she is mad at because I opened my own account and moved my money over into and she thinks that we are all out to make her fail finanicially. Not the case I am just protecting myself from her spending everything on him when I leave to go back overseas.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I still don't understand... If my wife had moved away for two MONTHS for no reason, the discussion would have gone something like "We're a married couple, right? So either we're together or we're not. Your choice, but make it soon. Like this week". 

I'm not blaming you for your wife cheating. I'm not blaming you for her moving away. But I really feel that you can't fix a marriage when you're living hundreds of miles apart. Of course, you can't fix a marriage if both people aren't fully committed to it either... 

So if you want to make things work, your first step will be breaking up the affair. Your case will be tough, because going dark on her won't have much effect. You can try to blow it up through exposure, but I suspect you'll get a lot of shoulder shrugging from her family like "Well, what did you expect?". Or do you think her parents/friends will put any pressure on her to straighten up?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jadams14 (Jun 3, 2012)

Well that is one thing that has happened is the fact that it has been exposed to her family and some friends. Now since I changed the bank account and moved money over into my own account she is pissed at me and said that I pushed her further away. She had a conversation with her father this morning about her thinking about what she is about to give up and then she found the money moved from the joint accounts.


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## jadams14 (Jun 3, 2012)

warlock07 said:


> Was the relationship with this guy physical?


As far as I know the only physical thing they have did up to this point is kiss twice at least. She tells me that it has not gone any further then that but I believe it is a matter of time because he has tried to break up another friend of our relationship before and that was all sexual.


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## OldWolf57 (Mar 20, 2012)

just tell her you will not finance her love life, and she has shown you she can not be trusted. and ask her how she feels about what he did to your other friends marriage. also don't forget to close any joint credit cards, at least get your name off them.


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