# Ladies - Normal Pregnancy Pain/Working??



## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

I know this isn't a pregnancy forum, but I wanted to ask the mothers here about their pregnancy pain, and their employment.

I know I have pre-existing hip and back pain due to a motorcycle accident last year, and a car wreck a few weeks ago, but I wanted to know what is "normal" pain at 20 weeks. I've only gained 14.6 lbs so far, (164.6 lbs, 5'4"), but my pain is out of hand! I know some of it was pre-existing, but I have a hard time believing the rest is the pregnancy!! Or maybe it feels worse because I stopped taking pain medication when I found out I was pregnant? 

I can't sleep, I can't walk, I can't stand and I can barely tolerate sitting (the taibone pain was something I never expected)! It's hard to describe, but it feels like my left leg is being "squeezed" off at my lower back and hip... I also have numbness in my foot and lower leg, and sometimes around the groin area. 

I told my midwife this, but she just said it was normal and I will have relief after my baby is born. Until then, I'm having a really difficult time working. (I work as a night auditor at a hotel, which means a lot of standing, and now I have to fold linen at nights, per the boss). I woke up in tears this morning and no amount of stretching, soaking or changing positions is bringing relief. Is this really normal? If so, I give a lot of credit to women who work right up until their due date, because I'm thinking I'm not going to last much longer! I'm really trying to tough this out, but I don't know what I can do to help. I was still exercising/hiking up until recently. I just bought a bicycle, as I was told it will be lower impact exercise on my hip... But I'm not using it very much. ANY suggestions would be much appreciated!!!
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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

I'm sorry you are going through this. I personally did not have any pain with either of my pregnancies and I worked up until the day before I delivered. I know you said you've told your midwife, I'm not real familiar with what that is, I'm guessing a nurse of sorts? Anyway, have you told your actual doctor? You have quite a ways to go in your pregnancy to have to live in pain. If you were used to have pain meds for existing pain prior to pregnancy, I'm sure that has a lot to do with. With that amount of pain, a doctor may suggest bed rest for the duration, which unless you have paid medical leave can be dreaded words to hear from a doctor  

{{{{HUGS to you!}}}}


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## Michelle27 (Nov 8, 2010)

I had no preexisting conditions with my first pregnancy (I was 24) and experienced horrible hip and lower back pain for the last few months. It was explained to me that my daughter's head was often resting on a nerve that ran near the uterus. I couldn't walk easily, sit for long or stand for long without pain and had to stop sleeping in the waterbed because getting out of it was a nightmare. With my 2nd pregnancy 10 years later, there was none of that pain, but it was a totally different experience...horrible swelling (had to wear compression stockings). I think all pregnancies are different, and if you're thinking it's more than just "normal" pregnancy aches and pains, maybe you should be seen by a doctor.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Thank you all for responding. The pain has escalated to the point where normal functioning is being severely affected. I won't even shower unless my husband is home because I'm afraid of falling. Blow drying my hair, feeding my dogs, driving a car are increasingly difficult. The doctors told me I can take acetaminophen for it, but it does absolutely nothing for me. I'm already talking to my boss about quitting, even though we really need my income right now.

I hate to admit this, but I've resorted to taking half of a 5mg acetaminophen/hydrocodone on work nights. It barely takes the edge off. My doctors have been reluctant to prescribe anything for the pain, so I've been taking meager doses my husband will give up. I have read up extensively about hydrocodone during pregnancy, and it seems the only concern would be addiction. I know this isn't possible because I've taken hydrocodone for years for fibromyalgia and never had any withdrawal symptoms, even after abruptly quitting once I found out I was pregnant. I just don't take it the way it's prescribed (every 4 to 6 hours). I take half, occasionally a whole one at the onset of severe pain. I do have a high pain threshold, or so I thought.

I feel awful for resorting to this, and I plan on telling my doc at my next appointment (in one week).

I feel like such a baby. 
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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

I wonder if my husband's addiction will also predispose my baby to addiction, even though he was sober when we got pregnant? I'm really concerned about this. I want to know if it is possible for the baby to become dependent even if I am not? All questions I'm writing down to ask the doc. 

Before I knew I was pregnant I was taking hydrocodone, and they were unconcerned - but they also said the umbilical cord doesn't really form for 6 weeks... 
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## omega (Aug 2, 2011)

I don't know anything about addiction to pain medication, and I've never had to take the "strong stuff" myself, but is it possible that you actually WERE 'addicted' to it in the sense that when you stopped taking it for fibro, the pain you felt was worse than it WOULD have been if you had never STARTED taking pain medication in the first place? Like if your "real YinP pain" was a 4 on the scale, and then you started taking medicine to bring it to a 1, and then found out your pregnant, instead of it being a 4 again, now, thanks to your body withdrawing from the medicine, it's a 7? I don't know if that's how pain medicine addiction even works, but if you've become reliant on the medicine, it could be.

There HAS to be a solution that doesn't involve you in serious pain. Pregnant women have the right to medical care. They like to say you can't have this or that, but at the end of the day, you have to survive the pregnancy if it's going to benefit the baby in any way.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. You're an incredibly strong woman. It totally sucks that there is no law to protect your job. I don't live in the US and if I were in your situation I would have no problem getting paid leave from work for the duration of the pregnancy if it were medically necessary. I don't want to start a political discussion, but it just doesn't seem right.

Your boss should be fine with making some accommodations for you. Allowing you to have a chair to sit on as much as possible at work, NOT folding if you aren't able to do it now - tell him you'll be happy to fold AFTER the baby is born.


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## omega (Aug 2, 2011)

YinPrincess said:


> I wonder if my husband's addiction will also predispose my baby to addiction, even though he was sober when we got pregnant? I'm really concerned about this. I want to know if it is possible for the baby to become dependent even if I am not? All questions I'm writing down to ask the doc.
> 
> Before I knew I was pregnant I was taking hydrocodone, and they were unconcerned - but they also said the umbilical cord doesn't really form for 6 weeks...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Whether he was sober at the time of conception has NOTHING to do with whether there will be a genetic predisposition toward addiction. If your husband's addiction is "powered" by his genetics, than YES it is quite possible that the baby will have the predisposition as well. The so-called "addictive personality" is usually thought of as genetic.


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## TheAwkardChick (Nov 19, 2011)

Just had my lil guy 3 weeks ago... i think the pregnancy made everything worse lol! i have/had SVT a heart condition and being pregnant made it soooo much worse that i had to take crazy amounts of betablockers...luckily he is perfectly fine and so am i now! he was worth every bit of pain  congrats on your pregnancy!!! :yay:


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Omega, I never really thought of it like that. I do know from intermittent use throughout the years that if you stop taking pain medicine long enough that it does take awhile for the pain to come back. It's hard to say if the pain would be worse or the same after quitting... It's a very interesting question I will ask my doc. Because of the leeway in between stopping treatment and the recurring pain, I was able to be, and have always been very frugal about taking the medication, even before I was pregnant, or even married, for that matter. So in a sense, I guess it is possible that I was acclimated enough to have a dependence on it, without ever experiencing withdrawals. OMG WHAT A SCARY THOUGHT!!! So now my baby has a double whammy to deal with... Me and Dad are possible addicts! :,(

My boss is pretty accommodating, but she can't help the fact that my job requires a lot of standing. It simply just requires a lot of time on my feet - my only problem with this is the crazy feeling of having fallen on my butt (tailbone pain), and as you can imagine, sitting is quite painful as well. 

Thank goodness my next appointment isn't too far off, and I've only got to make it through three nights of work until then.

Speaking of the employment itself, I could take a leave, but it would be unpaid, and it would only ensure that my boss will provide some sort of work when I return, not necessarily the same position. I work in a hotel so that could mean housekeeping - a far more strenuous job, physically.

I feel like I'm drowning here... Just barely keeping my head above water. So stressed and unsure of what to do.

P.S. - I have finally set up IC for myself. I have an appointment on Monday, and while husband is perturbed, I am pleased that I get to start over. New counselor, no husband, and a chance at real growth and understanding for myself. My husband has refused IC for himself... How sad. But it just goes to show that his only motive was really to gain sympathy, and not really work on himself. Oh well!
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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

TheAwkardChick said:


> Just had my lil guy 3 weeks ago... i think the pregnancy made everything worse lol! i have/had SVT a heart condition and being pregnant made it soooo much worse that i had to take crazy amounts of betablockers...luckily he is perfectly fine and so am i now! he was worth every bit of pain  congrats on your pregnancy!!! :yay:


I am so glad you are both doing well! Thank you for the congrats... I am slowly but surely getting more excited... I think this baby will provide my life with a lot of meaning and opportunity for personal growth! 
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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

YinPrincess said:


> I wonder if my husband's addiction will also predispose my baby to addiction, even though he was sober when we got pregnant? I'm really concerned about this. I want to know if it is possible for the baby to become dependent even if I am not? All questions I'm writing down to ask the doc.
> 
> Before I knew I was pregnant I was taking hydrocodone, and they were unconcerned - but they also said the umbilical cord doesn't really form for 6 weeks...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I think genetics does play a big part in whether your H's addiction will be passed down. I know with all of my babies (3 total), it's something for me to be aware of as they grow up. I'm not sure about my 17 year old's dad, addiction wise, but with my H (father of my twins), we both have addictions we have battled over the years. I'm hoping we both maintain our sobriety for the duration of their lives, but nothing is ever a given, and even if we manage to do that, I fear our children will still battle the demons eventually (because of genetics). Wishing you the best in your pregnancy. And some things we just can't control Yin


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Congratulations on your baby! 

During my first pregnancy I had very little pain. During my second pregnancy, it was non-stop. I had "round ligament pain" (as well as other issues including advanced maternal age), had to wear a support brace, and do physical therapy. But, from about the fourth month on, it hurt non-stop no matter what I did. I resorted to having to rest a lot, but it would hurt even if I was laying down or especially sitting.

I've had friends who had "sciatic nerve pain" during pregnancy, where the weight of the baby presses on the sciatic nerve and causes shooting pains and numbness down your leg.

But, you mention that you have fibromyalgia. I know a couple of women who have this, but they are a bit older and were diagnosed well after having children. Maybe you should follow up with your doctor about this - as perhaps pregnancy can make fibromyalgia symptoms worse and you are not able to take the medications that can help fibromyalgia during pregnancy.

Pregnancy With Fibromyalgia: Effects, Medications Concerns, and More

I think that a certain amount of discomfort is expected in pregnancy, especially at certain points. But any kind of outright pain that is not allowing you to perform basic daily functions (getting out of bed, showering, etc.) should be checked out by your doctor.

I don't know where you are from, but in the US the FMLA applies to any medical condition, and it could be possible that you could qualify for going on medical leave prior to your child's birth. You should check that out with your HR department at your work.

Thoughts and prayers going your way. 

God Bless.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Cherry - I'm wishing the best for you too, sweetie. I hadn't thought of the predisposition until last night and the thought scares the crap outta me. 

Enchantment - thank you very much for the link... I was diagnosed with fibro at 22 - almost 10 years ago, and I have taken prescription pain killers off and on throughout most of that time, especially after spending 5 years with a physically abusive ex-boyfriend who violently pummeled me nearly everyday.

I have had a very physically challenging life, numerous car accidents, (I swear I must have a "hit me" sign on the back of my head or something), the fibro diagnosis and most recently, a motorcycle accident that left much of the left side of my body smeared on asphalt, (August of last year), and the 60mph freeway collision I was in, in September. My doctors have access to all of this information and yet I still feel my pain is being downplayed. I'm frustrated and upset that my pain is so severe since I quit taking meds about 5 months ago.

I have talked to my employer, but there are not many benefits to be had, seeing that the hotel is a privately owned franchise, (also in the US). I would like to keep working, but it is becoming difficult. I dread going to work, even though I have a cake job that pays me alright for the work I do. Its just sucking the life out of me.

Appointment on the 9th with the doc for a colposcopy, and sometime before the 19th with the neurosurgery dept. for the cysts in my brain. All this crap is getting old and way too overwhelming.

Thanks for listening to me gripe. I do know that pain and discomfort are normal parts of pregnancy... And I'm just getting to the point where the ligaments are stretching and pulling - and that doesn't bother me at all. That isn't anything compared to what I feel in the rest of my body.

Just needed some thoughts on this. I will tell my doc that I've been taking minute doses of hydrocodone and why (again), and for now, stick it out at work until I can't do it anymore. I'm really grateful for all of your thoughts and insight here. Will keep you guys updated!
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## omega (Aug 2, 2011)

My mom has accident-induced fibromyalgia. Interestingly, her car accident (massive, massive trauma to almost every part of her) was in the mid 70s. She still has total amnesia from before the accident. She has absolutely no memory of the first half of her life at all! But her fibromyalgia didn't start until a good 20 years later. It's such a strange disease and so poorly understood. She has terrible pain also and goes to a physical therapist and basically just downs huge quantities of aspirin (around 15/day) because she hates going to doctors to get prescriptions! But anyway I have been her shoulder to lean on for years about her fibro so I have heard a lot of what you are saying before, and I know that one of the main reasons she decided she wasn't going to go to doctors anymore was she was tired of being treated like she was exaggerating her pain and insomnia.

It might be something to talk about in IC. Severe pain can have very big psychological consequences. I doubt IC would be able to reduce your pain, but they might be able to give you some coping strategies for it.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Oh sweetie, I am so sorry to hear about your mom! How awful to not remember a good part of your life! I can definitely relate to the frustrations of not having someone believe your pain is real. 

I will admit. I may have been in denial or something, but I never "believed" in fibro. - still don't know how I feel about it, but I am sure what pain I have is mostly due to the physical traumas I've had in my life. Fibro is so intangible to me. It's not like a cancer or trauma that you can see... Just something about how your brain communicates with nerves. It's frustrating, and for years I didn't work, took meds and was just stagnant. (This was also the time I was with my abusive ex, so there was a lot of depression also).

I just got fed up. With everything. I just woke up one day and had an awakening I guess. I started hiking with my dogs. I was sore as all heck for the first few weeks. I stopped taking the pain meds for months at a time, instead only using them when I really needed them. After a time I felt wonderful most days! The activity, even when I didn't feel like it, was powerful for my body and mind. It was not long after this that I left my ex, became homeless, got a job and got on with my life. It's been tough!

I have been dismissed to the point where I started to believe my pain was somatic in nature - but that lead to me feeling like I was crazy as well! I've been struggling for about 10 years, and figured I had much of the discomfort sorted out. I've never been in so much pain that I couldn't get out and hike, which has been the case lately. I bought a bicycle, thinking it would be easier on my body, but it has presented it's own challenges now.

If I had a calmer mind and less anxiety, I am certain that meditation would benefit me, especially if my pain is somatic and I'm not aware of it.

In IC I hope to find ways of dealing with my anxiety, and I am hopeful this will help with pain. I really do believe in the power of the mind, and I know ultimately it creates the pain I feel. I don't want to become like my husband - dependent on temporary, outside help for coping...

Thank you for your continued support. Not a lot of people really take the time to listen, really listen, without judging or trying to provide a solution. It is very much appreciated!!!! *hugs*
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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

With your mom, is she having hwr liver and kidneys monitored regularly (because of her aspirin intake). I believe she'd have to take a lot for her pain, if it helps at all... Aspirin is an NSAID and fibro pain is supposedly generated by the brain and nerves. Or that is the current hypothesis, I think.

Wishing you both the best in health and happiness! 
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## omega (Aug 2, 2011)

YinPrincess said:


> With your mom, is she having hwr liver and kidneys monitored regularly (because of her aspirin intake). I believe she'd have to take a lot for her pain, if it helps at all... Aspirin is an NSAID and fibro pain is supposedly generated by the brain and nerves. Or that is the current hypothesis, I think.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Nope! She refuses all tests, doesn't get involved with the medical world at all. She's been so traumatized by the medical establishment that she'd rather just not deal with them. The physical therapist was a HUGE step for her. She tried acupressure and some kind of special fibro massage but they weren't too helpful. The aspirin definitely helps her though. She has a strange history with pain. After her accident, she had a "pain loop" where the pain she felt from the accident continued after the causes of the pain were gone - sort of like your finger hurting from a paper cut you got 6 months ago. They sent her to a psychiatrist for it, and in those days, having been to a psychiatrist was considered "something you could be blackmailed for" and she lost her security clearance at work, even though she wasn't ever diagnosed with a psychiatric illness. She went through a lot of that kind of [email protected] Her neck was broken and she had 8 operations on her upper spinal column so we're talking about a major accident (punctured lungs, shattered bones, etc).

Your hiking reminds me that about 5 years ago, my mom got into heavy weight lifting and bodybuilding (her first time at a gym was age 61) and she got very advanced in it. The strength she built from that helped but she was also pretty fragile, she had issues with her shoulders and hips (she also has arthritis pretty much everywhere and was recently starting to consider a hip replacement at some point).


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Wow, your mom sounds like one tough cookie! Weight lifting?? Love it!! She has seriously come back from a lot. I'm very inspired by her ability to recover and take on such an activity!

Make sure she watches her aspirin doses... I learned recently, sadly, that taking any medication at high doses for a prolonged period can result in toxicity. (I had an epileptic dog put to sleep on November 11th, after years of high doses of phenobarbitol began shutting down her liver and kidneys. I know it's a dog, but it only took 6 years of her life to kill her    )

Going to keep your mom in mind whenever I feel myself start to wimp out! I can relate to the pain loop thing, I had a doctor once explain that it is a sort of flashback the muscles and nerves face. It's even known to be experienced by amputees in their missing limbs (WEIRD)! I hope that she's found some relief, and someday reconsiders what medicine can now do for her. I know pain can make you crazy and frustrated, and I'd hate to think she's ever suffering because of the way she was treated. 

(The whole job thing... That is really messed up... And wouldn't it be a HIPAA violation for her employer to act on her medical history)? 

I'm really sorry she had to go through that. After my motorcycle accident my then-boss fired me for not giving him enough notice before calling in... Pretty messed up since I was in the hospital.

I mourned and felt like such a victim after losing my job, and almost lost my house, had my now-husband, then just a friend, stepped forward to rescue me. It wasn't fair, I had been so dedicated, I had a legitimate reason for calling in, etc. etc. etc. In the end, he had never really liked me and found a reason to can me. Pretty underhanded, but I at least got unemployment benefits while I recovered and until I found another job.

It caused a lot of emotional hurt in me. I mourned it much like you'd mourn a relationship, I guess. I'd been with the company for 2 years and that was the FIRST time I'd ever called in. (Had very strict rules about it).

So, I can REALLY imagine the insult she faced with losing her security clearance. So very unfortunate. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## omega (Aug 2, 2011)

YinPrincess said:


> Make sure she watches her aspirin doses... I learned recently, sadly, that taking any medication at high doses for a prolonged period can result in toxicity. (I had an epileptic dog put to sleep on November 11th, after years of high doses of phenobarbitol began shutting down her liver and kidneys. I know it's a dog, but it only took 6 years of her life to kill her    )


I know it sounds crazy - when she came to visit me, we went to a pharmacy to buy aspirin, and here they come in small boxes of like 20 tablets, and she asked for like 10 boxes and the pharmacist asked why (I think there's a law here that they are supposed to package OTC medicine so that a whole box won't kill you) and she said she takes 15/day and the pharmacist was shocked!!



> (The whole job thing... That is really messed up... And wouldn't it be a HIPAA violation for her employer to act on her medical history)?


Now, yes. Then, no. She worked in a sensitive government job (sort of like the FBI) and they didn't let anyone who was considered "likely to be blackmailed" have access to some areas. She actually quit about 4 years later and didn't rejoin the workforce for 20 years. I think part of that is probably because she felt she had been treated unfairly. Of course the reason she gave was to raise us.



> I'm really sorry she had to go through that. After my motorcycle accident my then-boss fired me for not giving him enough notice before calling in... Pretty messed up since I was in the hospital.
> 
> I mourned and felt like such a victim after losing my job, and almost lost my house, had my now-husband, then just a friend, stepped forward to rescue me. It wasn't fair, I had been so dedicated, I had a legitimate reason for calling in, etc. etc. etc. In the end, he had never really liked me and found a reason to can me. Pretty underhanded, but I at least got unemployment benefits while I recovered and until I found another job.
> 
> ...


That's crazy. Your boss must have really had it out for you. Where I live, you would sue your boss and your boss would have to pay you $$$ AND reinstate you. You can't fire people for not showing up for work because they were lying in a hospital bed after an accident - but once again, workers' rights in the US are about 100 years behind Europe. (The US is the only country in the entire world where there is no national requirement for paid maternity leave, I believe.)


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

He had a great reason to get rid of me - he was stealing money and I knew it. I had anonymously reported him to the company and somehow he'd found out. The company believed him over me, but ultimately Karma was sweet. A friend I'd stayed in contact with told me about 6 months ago, a company superior came in with two police officers and escorted him off of the property! I was DELIGHTED to hear of this, and immediately contacted corporate office for reinstatement and compensation - but was denied both. I had still called in less than 48 hours prior to a scheduled shift. Total bullsugar!! 

You can get paid maternity leave outside the states? How wonderful for expectant mothers to not have to worry about supporting themselves while they are in their final weeks in pregnancy and through childbirth. Here it is 60 days unpaid maternity leave. And no daycare will accept an infant, for several reasons, so you've got to have someone you trust lined up so you can go back to work within that time, if not, you forfeit your job. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## omega (Aug 2, 2011)

Oops, I was wrong. The United States isn't the only country in the world that doesn't require paid maternity leave. From Wikipedia:



> Only four countries have no national law mandating paid time off for new parents: Liberia, Papua New Guinea, Swaziland, and the United States.


Full article here: Parental leave - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

OMG. I can't believe the generous benefits that are out there!!! Even more, I can't believe the States does not do any of this! I think it's great that other countries allow for and help mothers during their child's crucial first months and years... I bet they ultimately have less crime as well! LoL!!
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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Wow. So I did a little search of my own, investigating paid maternity leave. Turns out New Mexico has an At Home Infant Care program - in one county, in which I do not live! Grrr!!

Wondering how hubby will support me and the baby while I'm out of commission. Feeling bad for the stress he must be facing. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## omega (Aug 2, 2011)

YinPrincess said:


> OMG. I can't believe the generous benefits that are out there!!! Even more, I can't believe the States does not do any of this! I think it's great that other countries allow for and help mothers during their child's crucial first months and years... I bet they ultimately have less crime as well! LoL!!


Those benefits are not considered "generous" anywhere outside the United States, anymore than a half-hour lunch break is considered "generous" in the US. 

It's just a different mindset about the importance of family vs. the workplace, I guess.

What would you think if I told you that it's also very common (in Europe it's ubiquitous) that childcare/daycare is free and public if the mother works.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

If you have any history of a pinched sciatic nerve or a busted tailbone, there will be pain with pregnancy or any other kind of weight gain (not gaining weight is not a good option for pregnancy however). 

If I were you I would see a chiropractor or an accupuncture specialist for relief, and also see a podiatrist to get inserts made for your shoes. You can also work out during pregnancy to strengthen your core muscles and your leg muscles and also back muscles as this will take the pressure off of nerves by providing more structure across skeleton by muscles doing more of support. 
Yoga poses can also be helpful.

I can say one thing and that is if there was pain before pregnancy, pregnancy is unlikely to make it any better. BUT because your ligaments are naturally looser during pregnancy it is an ideal time to take advantage of that by seeking natural, non-invase, non-pharmaceutical remedies. Your body can also grow new blood supplies to different areas of your body during this time and it's primed to do so, might as well take advantage of that.


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