# If you still have the house , how did you work ex's share ?



## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Hi people.
A lot of people here have kept the house and l'm wondering
how you worked that out with the x ?
Like did you buy your x out with their share ?
How did you work out what their shre was ?
How did you find the money to pay out X if you didn't just
sell up ?

Or for example , the x that moved out and into a rental
or whatever but , also has the kids with them .
So you still have the house but the childrens main residence
is with the x in the rental.
Do you still just work out X's share or should X get more
because they are also providing the main home for the
children and you want your children provided for.
How have you worked that ?

or maybe you still have the house and you also have the children
so do you keep a bigger share ?

My daughters main home is with her mum in her new rental,
so l want my daughter secure and provided for when we
sell the properties but I sure as hell don't wanna X's and 
her OM new lifestyle. O r something like that - I'm still
getting the hang of post via mob ph here, can only see one
line at a time so I hope this is making sense.
We're just working this stuff out ourselves. X actually just
wanted me to keep the lot as she really dumped me in
it but I can't do that . She put every cent she earn't for yrs
into all this to so and besides she's also providing my daughters
main home and I want her secure.

Anyway , would love to hear more about how everyone 
else is working this out.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mainsqueeze (Apr 10, 2013)

My wife and I agreed that she is staying in the house since she can afford the payments. In the divorce agreement she will have 6-9 months to refinance in her name or we will sell the house. If she refinances I get half of our down payment (just bought it in November) otherwise I get half of the extra if it is sold.

You are in the better position because they are still liable for the payments, but isn't getting any of the benefit. 

Good luck. I hope this helps


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Thanks fot the info MS.
I'd have to sell as l couldn't refinance, wanna get out
anyway so l'm cool with that.
Yeah I dunno though everything somehow wound up in my
name anyway so she could probably get away with not
paying a thing actually , especially if she wasn't going to
take a share. Lucky she's helping though l couldn't hold
the place alone with everything else otherwise.
Neither of us want any drama so if it's going to be this
way then hopefully the fewer hassles the better.

So does the one that's providing the main home for
the kids get a bigger share because they mostly have 
our kids or ?

God l hate this [email protected]
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## mainsqueeze (Apr 10, 2013)

According to my consultation with the lawyer, the fact that I'm moving out doesn't affect the ability for me to get custody. It could vary based on local laws though. In my case it will also not affect child support. It is calculated on income overnights and other stuff not relating to housing costs. If you haven't found an attorney, I would do a consultation. It was well worth the money.


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Yeah right. That's surprising stuff really considering
how many families the law has ruined . Nice to see
some fairness and common sense for once hey.
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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Lawyers say a lot and get paid well to say a lot. The words that count are the ones that come out of a judge's mouth in relation to your case.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Hey whitehawk, yes this part kind of sucks doesn't it? It costs a lot, financially, to separate especially if you were the main provider, but think of it all as last of the previous relationship, instead of wealth being stripped away. In my case my cheating ex quickly agreed to move out and it was obvious she couldn't afford the payments by herself. at that point the house was also in my name alone since we had refinanced not long before to pay off her credit cards, and because her credit rating was so poor we couldn't get the mortgage with her name on it. So from a paperwork perspective it was easier. We agreed to share custody but because my income was higher I still have to pay child support according to federal guidelines (even though at the time she moved out she said she didn't want me to have to pay anything - but when reality set in she changed her tune). Even though it helps improve her own lifestyle I don't mind paying because fortunately she is still able to make our sons needs a priority.

As for buying her out, we also had a little in retirement savings, that were also all in my name, and I had to cash them all in and pay income taxes on the amount to settle the equity. It sucks, and now I own an expensive home that I can barely afford, and when she left she took nothing with her, so I still have rooms full of junk (that she bought with her credit cards) to deal with, which I've slowly been selling/donating/trashing but eventually I'll be clear of all this mess.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

If your EX gets half, it's her money to do with what she wants. Sorry to say.


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

that_girl said:


> If your EX gets half, it's her money to do with what she wants. Sorry to say.


Yeah right. l know it sounds unrealistic but l
was sort of thinking of making her cur more
because we decided my D should live with
her and have that as her main home.
So if thats gonna be her main home then
l'd like her secure and x to get enough for
a new deposit so that she can buy something
of their own . The town she moved to has
a few cheaper places around where we could
swing enough in her share for that.
For me it's about a secure home base for
my D nor x.
Problem is the om has no money , what if 
they end up shacking up.
Her cut ends up buying a new place for her,
om and my daughter..... fk that !
Dunno what l could do about it though.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Lon said:


> Hey whitehawk, yes this part kind of sucks doesn't it? It costs a lot, financially, to separate especially if you were the main provider, but think of it all as last of the previous relationship, instead of wealth being stripped away. In my case my cheating ex quickly agreed to move out and it was obvious she couldn't afford the payments by herself. at that point the house was also in my name alone since we had refinanced not long before to pay off her credit cards, and because her credit rating was so poor we couldn't get the mortgage with her name on it. So from a paperwork perspective it was easier. We agreed to share custody but because my income was higher I still have to pay child support according to federal guidelines (even though at the time she moved out she said she didn't want me to have to pay anything - but when reality set in she changed her tune). Even though it helps improve her own lifestyle I don't mind paying because fortunately she is still able to make our sons needs a priority.
> 
> As for buying her out, we also had a little in retirement savings, that were also all in my name, and I had to cash them all in and pay income taxes on the amount to settle the equity. It sucks, and now I own an expensive home that I can barely afford, and when she left she took nothing with her, so I still have rooms full of junk (that she bought with her credit cards) to deal with, which I've slowly been selling/donating/trashing but eventually I'll be clear of all this mess.



Hey Lon.
hu , similer to us. lt was pretty weird how everything ended
up in my name to. She was the one with the cushy gov
job .I was the dicey one self employed ,pretty well no legit
paperwork and the higher income on what l did have was
all bs anyway. ln reality l was earning less than her.
But her legit wage wasn't enough to get the house and my
broker reckoned it was easier just in one name so somehow
that ended up me. All bs but it got it.
Same thing with our CCs. And the blocks we payed cash
for and the was just simpler in one name to so seems l was
handling them we just went with that.
We use to laugh to each other and soff off ..ohwell who cares
we won't be splitting up , we trust each othrr bla bla.
Fkg hell, 3 yrs later , look at us. Just never know what
[email protected] might be round the corner do ya hey.
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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Then again,as sick as that makes me l spose it's no business
of mine what she does with her share.
Someone else will end up living in my new place with me
to l guess.
What do they teach us here , don't worry about stuff you
can't control
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