# Ladies who like restraints.



## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

If I'm not mistaken, there have been a few ladies here who say they like restraints. I believe in one post someone mentioned they had an under-the-mattress system. I remember another lady mentioning being strapped down. Can you explain why you like this? Is it one of your favorite things? 

I ask because my x wife didn't like the idea of it at all. I could have been ok with it, but she said "that is what people do when someone is being raped," and she said "I couldn't do anything if I was tied up" meaning she would feel so weird she couldn't reach an O. She couldn't for the life of her understand why a woman would like that. So, that was her view, and i know "to each his own." But being that she had absolutely NO desire for it, I'm curious as to why some women enjoy it. At what point did you know you would like it? Did someone introduce it to you, did you see it in a movie and think it would be fun, or has it always just been a fantasy?


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

I don't view it the way your wife did.

For me, it's a turn on that he can do whatever he wants. It's giving up control. That doesn't mean the encounter has to be rough/dominant... it can still feel sensual and teasing and loving while still not having any control on what happens. Of course, it's not really that way because I trust the pants off him and know that at any moment I could say "game over" and restraints would be gone without question. We don't have an under-the-bed system or anything to that extent. I wouldn't say it was a favorite thing. Grabbing his ass is my favorite thing, so hands free! But it's good from time to time. Just thought I'd help kick off your thread. 

I don't remember when I knew I'd like this. I used to flirtatiously cross my arms at the wrists with my arms above my head, just teasing and knowing the image that would bring to his mind, and he grabbed the tie off my dressing robe...


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## Mrs.K (Apr 12, 2012)

Never thought I would say this but I like restraints. This is something that my husband has always been into but only recently have I given it a chance. I had half tried before but never gave it a chance because I didn't understand WHY my husband liked it so it made me uncomfortable until we really talked about it. 

I think it is fun but you have to have complete and total trust in your partner to do this. You also need to set boundaries before hand so it doesn't ruin the moment.

I am having a hard time putting into words WHY I like it. I guess I like the idea of him having full control.

I never thought I would like it but I think the key is it was finally given a shot under the right circumstances. He used to try and get me to do it when I was drunk since my inhibitions were completely gone I would agree to it then but end up hating it and not wanting to spoil the mood I would just go along with it and feel like he was taking advantage of me being drunk. A couple months back I approached him about it when things were getting "stale" and since I knew what I was getting into it was a much much better experience.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

From the responses, it seems that the husband being in control and being able to do what he wanted for a time is the enjoyable part, which makes perfect sense since one is restrained, so I guess my x just didn't like that feeling. 

I enjoyed it and described it the same way. She did it to me a few times to please me, but she never seemed to understand why i liked it, and she certainly didn't want it done to her. Like heartsbeating, we kept it sensual; being rough or torture was never something either wanted. I just thought it was such a turn on to have her in control and me not be able to do anything about it. 

I just wanted a woman's view. It just seemed like a very playful, spicy thing to me. Is this considered a normal thing among couples to add spice, or is it considered a bit extreme. I never felt weird for wanting to do it with my wife, but she thought I had lost my marbles. She didn't think it was something that normal couples did.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

southbound said:


> I just wanted a woman's view. It just seemed like a very playful, spicy thing to me. Is this considered a normal thing among couples to add spice, or is it considered a bit extreme. I never felt weird for wanting to do it with my wife, but she thought I had lost my marbles. She didn't think it was something that normal couples did.


I wouldn't consider this to be extreme at all. And you hadn't lost your marbles.

enoughisenough has a good point too...that it's often the one being restrained who is receiving the pleasure. The focus is on their pleasure. Although, not all the time mind you, and that can also be good.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

southbound said:


> From the responses, it seems that the husband being in control and being able to do what he wanted for a time is the enjoyable part, which makes perfect sense since one is restrained, so I guess my x just didn't like that feeling.


I have restrained my husband too.... and it becomes all about the tease.


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## The Renegade (May 16, 2012)

Not a woman, but still feel entitled to respond.

Wife and me do it often and love it, our best sexual experiences (Don't remember how many times they took steel handcuffs away from me at airport customs).

Thing is, she had a pretty lame sex-life before we met and if anyone told her about something like that she would probably have reported him. 

Many years ago I was at a Tony Robbins DWD at the Gold Coast and Tony asked into the crowd (400 people, about 250 women): "Who of the women in this room would like to be raped one day?" To my surprise, even on this question, two women raised their hands. 
Then he continued: "Now, imagine, you walk home from a party, you wear your sexiest black dress, all alone, your way leads through a dark alley. Suddenly, right in front of you appears a muscular built, tall stranger, his blue eyes look straight into yours and they leave do doubt about his intentions. You have nowhere to run. He grabs you and, without exchanging even a word, takes you." (I can't recall the exact words, but it was something really tasty).
80% of the women raised their hands.
Then he said: "Yeah! Because that's so different."

I believe it is all in the introduction and which picture you create for her. What worked for me is that I never talked about it. Just at one point early on I blindfolded her (gently). She loved that as it puts her attention totally on feeling her body (which is good), not on watching (which can be terrifying). Then I slowly tied her up and started trying some toys on her (always gently at first). 

I know until this day this was the most remarkable experience for her.

The mean thing of me was that I took a picture of her when she was lying there all tied up. Later on, when we cooled down, I showed it to her. She was shocked. And I know for sure that, had I tried to talk to her that this is what I wanted and if she wanted to try it, she would probably have called 911.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

I love it.. It is more of a control thing though.. If i am all tied up he is in compete conrtol of what ever happens and vice versa.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I'm like your wife. There is no way I would allow anyone to tie me down. I would panic. I mean really panic.

I could have something to do with previous life experiences.

I panic if anyone puts their hands around my neck.. because when I was 21 I was attacked. The guy tried to stangle me and drag me into an empty field.

After that I cannot trust anyone enough to give them control.

Now my husband has allowed me to tie him up and that was fun. I know double standards.


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

The Renegade said:


> Not a woman, but still feel entitled to respond.
> 
> Wife and me do it often and love it, our best sexual experiences (Don't remember how many times they took steel handcuffs away from me at airport customs).
> 
> ...


I really love being restrained. I love being dominated by my boyfriend.

However the idea that women would love to be raped not so. Sexual assault/ rape is very different to having sex with someone you love and and who loves you.

I have no desire to be raped by a stranger no matter how good looking. :/


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## The Renegade (May 16, 2012)

*LittleDeer* said:


> I really love being restrained. I love being dominated by my boyfriend.
> 
> However the idea that women would love to be raped not so. Sexual assault/ rape is very different to having sex with someone you love and and who loves you.
> 
> I have no desire to be raped by a stranger no matter how good looking. :/


Just to be clear: I'm not advocating rape (Neither is Tony, I'm sure.)


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

rape fantasies are very common, doesn't mean we want them to become reality!

the feeling of submitting and giving up control is very liberating, although there has to be trust there to really make it a full experience. I love to have my arms pinned above my head with one hand and my hair pulled with the other - so sexy!

but to be on the other side is good too - to have a man totally at your mercy and not knowing what is coming next is the ultimate ride!


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## runningman1 (May 7, 2012)

As a man I like the idea of restraing my wife but feel very uneasy with the subject. Sometimes myself I wonder why I want to do this to her and why this should excite me. I dont just fantasise about tying her to the bed but about tying her completley ie wrist and ankles. I somtimes feel this is wrong to want this. Its good to get a female perspective and I really cant bring myself to discuss this with her


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## The Renegade (May 16, 2012)

runningman1 said:


> As a man I like the idea of restraing my wife but feel very uneasy with the subject. Sometimes myself I wonder why I want to do this to her and why this should excite me. I dont just fantasise about tying her to the bed but about tying her completley ie wrist and ankles. I somtimes feel this is wrong to want this. Its good to get a female perspective and I really cant bring myself to discuss this with her


Seriously! Don't discuss it. Introduce it to her through soft playing. Let her feel it, not hear it.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

My wife loves to be restrained.
Very feisty lady, a bit petite in built.
I am 225 lbs ,6' 6" and muscular built [ I work out in the gym ]
Some years ago we were " pillow fighting" in the bedroom , and I pinned her down on my desk. She had this " look " in her eyes that could only mean one thing........
The rest is history.

As for me, restraints is not my cup of tea. I only do it because of how it makes her feel.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

EleGirl said:


> I'm like your wife. There is no way I would allow anyone to tie me down. I would panic. I mean really panic.
> 
> I could have something to do with previous life experiences.
> 
> ...


that makes perfect sense to me. You've had a personal experience that would make it uncomfortable.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

My wife can't be restrained through bondage,, she panics.

I've learned that just the threat of restraint is enough to make her submit .
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MrsOldNews (Feb 22, 2012)

I'm quite a dominant female in general but when me and my stbx were still happy we had an under the bed restraint system. However the restraints are all Velcro anyway, a very mischievous women can get them off quickly, only to be punished for it  lol. I don't think being restrained is super kinky either, definitely not vanilla sex by any means but somewhere middle of the road as far as sex acts go. 

FYI I liked to be tied up for his pleasure not mine, letting him have his way with me, giving up all control taught me a few things about what he enjoyed sexually that he may not have been willing to express before. so from that experience I learned to better please him during our regular routine. I completely understand some women not liking being restrained though. I have issues with hands going anywhere near my neck too and would freak the f*** out if a hand sat to close to my juggler for too long.


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## happylovingwife (Jun 5, 2012)

I would love it but don't think it will ever happen. My husband is an alpha in all areas but sex. I would love him to ravage me and be firm but he has me on this pedestal or something. He's too considerate of me to be commanding. Yet he thinks nothing of telling me how to load the dishwasher....


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## happylovingwife (Jun 5, 2012)

Caribbean Man said:


> My wife loves to be restrained.
> Very feisty lady, a bit petite in built.
> I am 225 lbs ,6' 6" and muscular built [ I work out in the gym ]
> Some years ago we were " pillow fighting" in the bedroom , and I pinned her down on my desk. She had this " look " in her eyes that could only mean one thing........
> ...


OMG, me and the man used to wrestle all the time before kids. I loved it because eventually he would get annoyed with me and pin me down. It was so hot to be overpowered like that. I've tried to get him to do it on his own but it's not easy with sex after the kids are in bed.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

*LittleDeer* said:


> I really love being restrained. I love being dominated by my boyfriend.
> 
> However the idea that women would love to be raped not so. Sexual assault/ rape is very different to having sex with someone you love and and who loves you.
> 
> I have no desire to be raped by a stranger no matter how good looking. :/


that was my view on it. Doing it with someone you love is different that being raped. I didn't think of that at all, I just liked it with my wife, but apparently the thoughts of it gave her negative feelings.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Would buying something like that and surprising her be a bad idea? Like, having it all set up and hidden under the sheets? How would you reveal the surprise? It seems like it could be a bit awkward especially if she freaks out. But I have a feeling she wouldn't freak.


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

I feel like Debbie Downer after LFFA's post, but I do not like any sort of bondage. Feels demeaning to me, not hot at all. I think it reaches some sort of primal instinct that I do not possess.


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> Don't feel that way. It's not for everybody. It just happens to be something I really enjoy.
> 
> I don't care for 69 and I'm sure there are those who think I'm weird for that.


You're right. To each his own. No 'splainin why we like what we like.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

lovesherman, if I can ask a personal question, does your husband hold your hands down or restrain you with his hands and if so, how do you respond? I did this for the first time recently and my wife went seriously over the top. This is what makes me think she might like the restraints. I've also tried putting my hand around her neck....not choking but not just touching either. She wasn't as over the top about it but she didn't stop me either. 

Then last night, after I had done both of those things to her she got on top cowgirl and held one of my arms down tight like she was restraining me. This last bit made me wonder if she wanted to "switch" or if I should have "overpowered" her. I let her hold me down, which really does nothing for me but whatever, I'm just trying to learn and step up both our game.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Wrestling has been mentioned in this thread...and my H will not wrestle me. I've tried! lol. He refuses to wrestle me (playfully, of course). I have moments from time to time where I'll say "c'mon show me what you got!" and I'll be juggling my fists near him like a boxer... now, to be clear, it's PLAYFUL and I don't hit him but I do try to goad him. He just laughs and says he won't wrestle me. Instead he comes and gives me a big bear hug instead. I stay a little feisty and if anything (like the other night) he will just hold my hands up so I can't move them...but *oops* I accidentally fell back onto the bed. He laughs along with me but then if that mood takes him too, well, he might just continue holding my hands so they can't move...

but I've never equated restraints (even if we did have LFFA gear) like this to rape, not one smidgen. Sometimes our interactions can be raw but it still feels intense/passionate and not like I'm being taken against will. Maybe some are into that, each to their own.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Not that I mean to get into your business I'm just interested that you say no to the restraints but if you're a woman who otherwise says yes to being held down like my wife does then maybe that would mean she also would think actual restraints would go too far. But if you don't like being held down at all, then your probably not a good "benchmark".


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

Yes, we tried him holding my hands down, and I hated it. I also cannot enjoy sex right after we have had an argument. I have to feel vulnerable to him, and I do not like the feeling that he is being aggressive or dominating me. May be pseudo-psychological, but I think it comes from my dislike of my alpha, very domineering father. I swore I would never let a man push me around. We like slow, tantric sex best.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

lovesherman said:


> I feel like Debbie Downer after LFFA's post, but I do not like any sort of bondage. Feels demeaning to me, not hot at all. I think it reaches some sort of primal instinct that I do not possess.


:iagree:

My wife seem to like a bit of it, but I dont really like doing it to her.
She also like " rough stuff " sometimes,and THAT I absolutely love to do....
But, to each his own.
.......................................................................
Also we have never had that spontaneous " make up sex " some people seem to have .If we had a serious argument she knows that it is NOT the time to approach me for sex. Maybe it's the way i'm wired. I like to focus on the problem,find solutions and move on. In my mind, sex at that time is not a solution. It will have to come sometime after. If its a minor problem,yeah then we can fool around because i'm confident I can handle it. When it gets beyond that my mind kicks into analytical mode.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

So, not one of those spreader bars where you attach her wrists to her ankles?

lol


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

WorkingOnMe said:


> lovesherman, if I can ask a personal question, does your husband hold your hands down or restrain you with his hands and if so, how do you respond? I did this for the first time recently and my wife went seriously over the top. This is what makes me think she might like the restraints. I've also tried putting my hand around her neck....not choking but not just touching either. She wasn't as over the top about it but she didn't stop me either.
> 
> Then last night, after I had done both of those things to her she got on top cowgirl and held one of my arms down tight like she was restraining me. This last bit made me wonder if she wanted to "switch" or if I should have "overpowered" her. I let her hold me down, which really does nothing for me but whatever, I'm just trying to learn and step up both our game.


Could you ask her if she likes it? Why not open dialogue with your wife about it?

Maybe LFFA can share how they came to have their under the bed system? ...but I'd imagine if you're early days of experimenting with restraining in each others hands then maybe approach it a little slower (and depending how responsive your wife is). Neck ties, scarves etc. might be a softer introduction. Have you experimented with blindfolds too? That can be fun if she's open to it.

You mentioned your hand near her neck. I know some women are into that. Personally I'm not. He's never tried it and I just know that would be a limit for me that I wouldn't like.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> Working, if I might make a suggestion...before buying restraints, try your wife out on something a little softer. You can use fur hand and leg cuffs, or silk scarves, or even a strand of pearls to light restrain her. That should give you a good idea of her reaction and whether to proceed to the official equipment.


I was typing when you posted this :smthumbup:


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

WorkingOnMe said:


> So, not one of those spreader bars where you attach her wrists to her ankles?
> 
> lol


:rofl:

I just imagine her walking into the bedroom, all snuggly with her favorite pj's on, and seeing that...."SURPRISE!"


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

We use lots of different things for restraining, rope and scarves, handcuffs etc, an under the bed system would be great. 

I am one that would love sex after a disagreement, anytime really, but after a disagreement then it would be extra hot. We have never had an argument though, no yelling or anything as he's very level headed and in control. That's also sexy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

heartsbeating said:


> Could you ask her if she likes it? Why not open dialogue with your wife about it?


Actually I did ask her. She's really shy sexually and an open face to face conversation would be very difficult (and I probably couldn't get the truth out of her). But after the first time I held her down, honestly I couldn't get her reaction out of my head. So the next day I texted her "I think you liked me holding your hands up. And behind your back. Am I right?" and she responded with a simple "yep". Then 4 hours later (after she left work) another text from her "you were right I did like it".

I don't think this is something I can ask about and plan. I think I just have to do it and gauge her response....and hope it doesn't backfire. I just wasn't sure if this is an appropriate escalation or if holding her down doesn't translate to actual restraints at all.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

WorkingOnMe said:


> I don't think this is something I can ask about and plan. I think I just have to do it and gauge her response....and hope it doesn't backfire. I just wasn't sure if this is an appropriate escalation or if holding her down doesn't translate to actual restraints at all.


My view on it, as to why it's sexy, is the intent/feeling behind it. For a more raw and intense interaction, it's that feeling of he's so completely taken by you that he just has to have you. He's not thinking about you, he's just overcome with desire and lust and you have no control. (except the reality is, we know he is thinking about us and we do actually have control..we trust him to read our signals well and respond to voice and body accordingly). 

The other approach with restraints (and blindfolds) can be more sensual and it's a complete tease of pleasure that can last all night.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> I love you, hearts. :rofl: You're one cool kitty.
> 
> ME~ "Being restrained makes me hot."
> HIM~ "I know."
> ...


You have a catwoman whip, don't you :rofl:


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## Shiksa (Mar 2, 2012)

I've mentioned restraints and not much response. Waiting for the T shots to kick in! Now I'm all hot and bothered and I have to go to middle school open house:rofl:


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Ok, I placed the order. I texted DW "I'm going to order this" and then texted the link.

She replied: OMG

I'm taking that as a yes.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

whoa! :smthumbup:


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## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> I love you, hearts. :rofl: You're one cool kitty.
> 
> ME~ "Being restrained makes me hot."
> HIM~ "I know."
> ...


Awww, ladyfrog, you should be cloned and married off to every 18 year old man, or sold over the counter without a prescription!


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## As You Wish (Jun 5, 2012)

We have the under-bed system too. The way it went down was very similar to Lady Frog's dialogue. lol We don't use it very often, as we have kids in the house and it's kind of obvious what it is. 

I only like being restrained, not restraining. And I only like either hands or feet, not all four. Blindfolds are awesome when my hands are tied.

Rough stuff is good, good, good. Not every time, but it's definitely in the regular rotation.


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## As You Wish (Jun 5, 2012)

Yeah, it's the same one. Sometimes they sneak out from between the mattress and box spring and have to be shoved under. Not a good idea to get the teen daughter to help you change the sheets.


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## MrVanilla (Apr 24, 2012)

Restraints is something my wife has asked for, and I went ahead and found something we could use with some velcro type thing and clothes line, and she enjoyed this. 

But I don't. I can't stand it. When she asked why, I told her that my initial response to seeing anyone restrained, is to untie them and the last thing in the world I want to see is my wife tied up. She says... 'but I like this, I'm asking for you for this, you have my permission...' and that's fine and dandy, but I can't stand it. I can't stand having that image in my head.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

MrVanilla said:


> Restraints is something my wife has asked for, and I went ahead and found something we could use with some velcro type thing and clothes line, and she enjoyed this.
> 
> *But I don't. I can't stand it. When she asked why, I told her that my initial response to seeing anyone restrained, is to untie them and the last thing in the world I want to see is my wife tied up*. She says... 'but I like this, I'm asking for you for this, you have my permission...' and that's fine and dandy, but I can't stand it. I can't stand having that image in my head.


Phew!
I was starting to think something was wrong with my perspective on this issue....
I feel the same way as you. It's just does not sit right in my psyche.
We are very willing to experiment. we have had sex in public , on the beach , done skinny dipping., talked about sex toys [ Its difficult to get quality toys down here],looked at " ladies porn ",blindfolds all sorts of things. I even bought a Pink pair of padded handcuffs, but I couldn't do it,even though she likes it.


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## StatusQuo (Jun 4, 2012)

I've been trying to talk the hubby into tying me up for... I dunno... about 12 years. He just rolls his eyes at the idea. 

We used to play this game, where he'd do whatever he wanted to me, and wouldn't let me touch him in any way in response. It was soooo freaking hot, it drove me crazy. Ever since the first time he did that, I've wanted him to restrain me. Add that extra level of restraint by tying me up. I just can't convince him to do it, and he doesn't offer a reason, just rolls his eyes like I'm insane for asking, and wanting that. *sigh*


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## MrVanilla (Apr 24, 2012)

Caribbean Man said:


> We are very willing to experiment. we have had sex in public , on the beach , done skinny dipping., talked about sex toys [ Its difficult to get quality toys down here],looked at " ladies porn ",blindfolds all sorts of things. I even bought a Pink pair of padded handcuffs, but I couldn't do it,even though she likes it.


Unfortunately I'm not at all willing to experiment - and this is just one of her 'likes' on a long, long list of personal preferences that she dropped on me out of the blue one day after 18 years of marriage. I feel bad for both of us, she married the wrong guy.


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## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> Yep, you have to remember they're under there before you ask for help with the laundry. lol


I remember a time in my teens, my mom was on a spring cleaning rampage, and I was enlisted... Moving couches to clean, then on to bedrooms. Too hard to move their king size all at once, so mom pulled the blankets and sheets, and had me help move the mattresses..... There was the largest freaking pink dildo under the mattress.... I was probably 15 or so, I was HORRIFIED, I turned and ran out of the bedroom. She moved it somewhere, and then told me she was ready for help moving the mattress... We were both sooo red in the face....


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

humanbecoming said:


> I remember a time in my teens, my mom was on a spring cleaning rampage, and I was enlisted... Moving couches to clean, then on to bedrooms. Too hard to move their king size all at once, so mom pulled the blankets and sheets, and had me help move the mattresses..... There was the largest freaking pink dildo under the mattress.... I was probably 15 or so, I was HORRIFIED, I turned and ran out of the bedroom. She moved it somewhere, and then told me she was ready for help moving the mattress... We were both sooo red in the face....




Your post made me think of something.
Maybe somebody could start a thread on this board dealing with how old we were when our parents had that " birds and bees " talk with us and what was the experience like.
Or maybe even the most embarrassing [ sex related ] moments growing up.....

That should be fun!

That is , of course , if it was never done before.


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## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

Caribbean Man said:


> Your post made me think of something.
> Maybe somebody could start a thread on this board dealing with how old we were when our parents had that " birds and bees " talk with us and what was the experience like.
> Or maybe even the most embarrassing [ sex related ] moments growing up.....
> 
> ...



In fine TAM tradition, I will continue the derailment....

No birds and bees talk....porn mags were laying around freely available from early elementary school age, and I guess they figured that covered it.

Not the best way to raise kids...


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

humanbecoming said:


> In fine TAM tradition, I will continue the derailment....
> 
> No birds and bees talk....porn mags were laying around freely available from early elementary school age, and I guess they figured that covered it.
> 
> Not the best way to raise kids...


:
:scratchhead:

Maybe we are both from the same era.......

No "Birds and Bees " for me either. But my mother was" uber conservative. " But fortunately [ ? ] we had a VCR and us guys used to have video cassettes passing around. Magazines too.
Kids now have so much more resources, good and bad.
Our age was basically the " stone age " compared to what's available now.

Funny how times have changed.


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## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

Caribbean Man said:


> :
> :scratchhead:
> 
> Maybe we are both from the same era.......
> ...


I still remember the booby picture torn from some magazine, folded to pocket size, that made quite a few rounds in late elementary school


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

My 15 year old has an iPhone. Think about that for a minute.


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

I went to a rough london comprehensive school
no birds and bees talk required from parents I can assure you of that


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## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

Dollystanford said:


> I went to a rough london comprehensive school
> no birds and bees talk required from parents I can assure you of that


There must be some stories there...


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

you'd think wouldn't you?


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

birds and bees, why are we supposed to learn all about these flying creatures at that age... it seems like I'm missing something, does "birds and bees" refer to something other than the wild kingdom?

lol just kidding of course, but I never got the speech, and my parents were hopelessly shy around their kids or else just unaffectionate. Have never heard them having sex once, I have seen them passionately kiss twice, but maybe a few dozen casual pecks.

I suspect they are passionate behind closed doors though, as to sex ed I wasn't allowed to go, a couple years later my mom tossed be a christian dating and puberty book published in the 50's (I think it was a first print too).


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Hmm I like it because...

1. I love the show of dominace from SO during this time.

2. Being able to trust SO enough to allow myself to be completely vunerable to him is a major turn on for me. 

3. The teasing and anticipation on what is going to happen next is an added bonus

4. The above three increase the passion which makes it even more desirable imo. 

That's just my take on it.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

My birds and bees talk was NOT pleasant... and it came from a very cruel step mother.


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## Monty4321 (Jul 15, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> I'm like your wife. There is no way I would allow anyone to tie me down. I would panic. I mean really panic.
> 
> I could have something to do with previous life experiences.
> 
> ...


Hi EleGirl.

In regards to your past experience. So you would be horrified and go into panic if your husband tied you up in a romantic experience? I just figured that you would trust your husband as he is your partner and so on. 

I would just be offended if my wife started reliving a similar past experience and looked at me as a perpetrator even for one second. I heard of folks who had offenses committed against them in the past and it now causes them to have difficulties during intimacy with their spouses. 

But I have never been through those experiences, so I can't begin to understand. So please please (a million times) forgive me if I'm over board.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Monty4321 said:


> Hi EleGirl.
> 
> In regards to your past experience. So you would be horrified and go into panic if your husband tied you up in a romantic experience? I just figured that you would trust your husband as he is your partner and so on.
> 
> ...


If you were (For example) stabbed repeatedly with a knife by an ex girlfriend for whatever reason... are you saying you wouldn't be wary everytime someone lifted a knife?


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## Monty4321 (Jul 15, 2011)

Gaia said:


> If you were (For example) stabbed repeatedly with a knife by an ex girlfriend for whatever reason... are you saying you wouldn't be wary everytime someone lifted a knife?


Well... :scratchhead: ...I'm sorry, I just don't think I would around the wife. But..I guess if I weren't married but had a girl friend, then maybe I get your point.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Dollystanford said:


> you'd think wouldn't you?




Well Ms. Stanford,
We're waiting...........


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Monty4321 said:


> Well... :scratchhead: ...I'm sorry, I just don't think I would around the wife. But..I guess if I weren't married but had a girl friend, then maybe I get your point.


No need to be sorry. I am giving a for example. Another would be... say.. a soldier comming back from a war zone. Now he had been through a hell of alot right? So he will more then likely have "triggers" that bring about .. i suppose the best way to say it would be... a survival instinct. Now it's nothing against their SO.. but it's not something that they can just NOT do either... Do you get what I'm saying or am I not explaining it right? Sorry if it's not making much sense.. am trying to explain it the best way i can.


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## Monty4321 (Jul 15, 2011)

Gaia said:


> No need to be sorry. I am giving a for example. Another would be... say.. a soldier comming back from a war zone. Now he had been through a hell of alot right? So he will more then likely have "triggers" that bring about .. i suppose the best way to say it would be... a survival instinct. Now it's nothing against their SO.. but it's not something that they can just NOT do either... Do you get what I'm saying or am I not explaining it right? Sorry if it's not making much sense.. am trying to explain it the best way i can.


 Oh..Gaia, you did a good job explaining. I knew what you meant in your first response. I understand what you are saying.....


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Monty4321 said:


> Oh..Gaia, you did a good job explaining. I knew what you meant in your first response. I understand what you are saying.....


lol ok...


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## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

Caribbean Man said:


> Well Ms. Stanford,
> We're waiting...........


She's a tease like that


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## redbaron4u_2001 (Nov 11, 2015)

I thoroughly enjoy both restraining her and having her restrain me. We've done it mostly where she restrains me due to her comfort level. The first couple of times, I may have went too fast and could be the reason she feels uncomfortable. Lately, when I do get her to restrain me, it usually involves tickling, since she's not comfortable with much else. When I ask her about it, she says, why do you always want to do that? Even when it's been a year or more since our last time doing it. Any advice on how I could get her to not only feel comfortable, but excited about it as well?

Neither one of us is into "bondage," you know, the whips, humiliation, and that stuff. Just some fun with control exchange, and pushing some safe limits. For instance, I can overpower her without restraints and tickle her, but she can't overpower me unless I'm restrained. So to truly get the feel of not being in control of how much I'm tickled, the restraints allows me to go where my reflexes wouldn't allow me to go. I would say probably ice would be similar. Or getting teased sexually to where you can't stand it. Stuff like that.


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## brownmale (Apr 20, 2015)

Women's libbers might not want to accept this, but bondage is a fantasy for some women. It probably has something to do with the mock rape fantasy. (Mock rape is not rape!)

For that matter, I wouldn't mind being tied up myself, as a guy. It's part of the dominance-submission thingy. 



*LittleDeer* said:


> I really love being restrained. I love being dominated by my boyfriend.
> 
> However the idea that women would love to be raped not so. Sexual assault/ rape is very different to having sex with someone you love and and who loves you.
> 
> I have no desire to be raped by a stranger no matter how good looking. :/


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

brownmale said:


> Women's libbers might not want to accept this, but bondage is a fantasy for some women. It probably has something to do with the mock rape fantasy. (Mock rape is not rape!)
> 
> For that matter, I wouldn't mind being tied up myself, as a guy. It's part of the dominance-submission thingy.



1. Zombie thread.

2. Women's libbers? You mean feminists?

3. Feminist here who totally digs being restrained and overpowered.

4. Feminism supports all forms of consensual sexual expression. Feminists do not support limiting of behavior based on gender roles.

5. Zombie thread.


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## TicklishTickler66 (Nov 2, 2016)

My apologies for bringing up an older thread. 

Through communication with my wife, she has come to the understanding that using restraints just added a little fun to the bedroom activities. For the longest time, she would allow me to tie her in bed, both wrists and ankles, then I mostly would tease and tickle her to the point of giving her a few orgasms before she let me know she had enough. We did buy an "under the bed" system and it works well. We also change it up to being tied standing, tied to a small bench...ect. She recently expressed interest in wanting to tie me to see what it is like for herself. She is hooked! So often we take turns tying each other to drive the other sexually nuts. Nothing rough and to this point it has added excitement to the bedroom.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Since this is a 2x resurrected thread, I'd like to add a PSA.

If you are going to experiment with restraints and ropes, please watch a few safety videos. It is possible to do permanent damage using rope and restraints improperly. Esinem on YouTube has an excellent two part safety video, iirc.


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## TicklishTickler66 (Nov 2, 2016)

@MJJEAN, your PSA is appreciated!


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## snerg (Apr 10, 2013)

I know it's a zombie thread but...


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