# Ladies who had babies...how to be confident w/body afterward?



## stumblealong (Jun 30, 2010)

Some women seem to not show any signs of having a child, no stretch marks, sagging belly skin, droop boobs, but I am not one of those women! I have lost all the weight, but the saggy skin just bugs me, and my man being the visual creature he is, I wonder if it bothers him too. He would never say this, but he has made some comments on how my bod USED to look. Just wondering if this is a big deal? How do women still be confident in bed after having children? Tips on how to not think about my floppy gut!
Stumble


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

OH what I wouldn't give for a Tummy Tuck. Look at Kate- who had 8 -after hers - amazing. Kate Gosselin is a Bikini Mama | Bikini, Celebrity Babies, Jon & Kate Plus 8, Jon Gosselin, Kate Gosselin : Just Jared

I have asked my husband to let me get one, almost begged at times, but he wont allow it, too worried about the surgery.He swears it does not bother him, so I take his word. 

But of coarse we know we looked better before kids! 

If you want to entice him with a dance, wear lingerie that has a Waist cincher, also called an underbust corset. Lots of these on ebay, it helps me be a little less self-conscious in this area. No amount of situps will help these stretch marks & some of the sagging go away , unfortunetly!


----------



## stumblealong (Jun 30, 2010)

Hi SA!! I hoped you would reply having 6 kids and all! I know about Kate...seen her on mag cover, that's what got me thinking of tummy tuck! I know it sucks because I can feel tone beneath the sagging skin! Your hubby loves you so unconditionally, I think you can for sure take his word for it! 

When I catch my man gawking at some chick in a cut off top, I feel like slapping him upside the head! I mean isn't he part to blame for the sag! Then he goes telling his buds what a hot bod I USED to have! Come on now, I still turn heads bucko! One of his friends even said he thought I still did, my man replied w/ she does, but u can tell she's had a kid! Well, duh! You had a hand in that, ya know! I overheard this conversation the other day when he & his pals were out in garage! (of course, his second home)

Yep, if I could afford a tuck I sure would, but at this point I think for myself, rather than for his viewing pleasure! Turd!


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Your husband doesn't sound like he watches his words very carefully, maybe he is drinking when these things come out. I think it great that one of his friends uplifted you -he is noticing your bod !! Oh yeah, sometimes that works on the hubby's mind, hope it keeps happening - a little healthy jealously can be a gooood thing .

Yeah, the cost of a Tummy Tuck is pretty high, anywhere from $8,000 & up, I dont think insurance would ever cover this. Bummer. 

All of us women with kids are in the same boat, you are so not alone.


----------



## stumblealong (Jun 30, 2010)

Yep u guessed it...drinking. Should of went up and gave his bud a big ol' hug, but I just pretended I didn't hear the conversation. Maybe I should take some kinda self-confidence class for low self esteem so his comments don't hurt as much. Like what I read on here all the time, you cannot change the other person, only yourself! Why is it that the hurtful comments stick in your head more than the good ones:scratchhead:


----------



## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

I have the same issue, a flap (apron) or pannus as they call it. Has bothered me for years and no dieting, sit-ups, etc., will do anything like SA said! My actually hangs down over my pubic area - weighs about 7 lbs.

That being said, hubby never said anything until recently and he put it this way: "you're too pretty to be carrying that around." He told me he was referring to my sagging skin - I agreed and said I need a tummy tuck and I've already checked into it. He asked the cost, told him and he said - you save half, I'll give you the other half - so guess what - I'm saving it! I'm 50, have always wanted one and I'm not waiting any longer.

When the tummy tuck is done (hope to have it early next year), I'm then doing the boob lift - then, I can age in peace...

Good luck!


----------



## stumblealong (Jun 30, 2010)

MarriedWifeInLove said:


> I have the same issue, a flap (apron) or pannus as they call it. Has bothered me for years and no dieting, sit-ups, etc., will do anything like SA said! My actually hangs down over my pubic area - weighs about 7 lbs.
> 
> That being said, hubby never said anything until recently and he put it this way: "you're too pretty to be carrying that around." He told me he was referring to my sagging skin - I agreed and said I need a tummy tuck and I've already checked into it. He asked the cost, told him and he said - you save half, I'll give you the other half - so guess what - I'm saving it! I'm 50, have always wanted one and I'm not waiting any longer.
> 
> ...


Good for you!!! That is awesome! My man may not like my sag but i know for a fact he will not fork out any money to get it taken care of! Man, I hope everything goes well for you. Post on here some day how your results look and how the surgery went. I would really like to know as I'm sure many others would too!


----------



## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

Doesn't a tummy tuck leave a pretty big scar? Stumble, you're not alone. I think all of us Mom's have been there. I'm actually about 15 pounds lighter than when I met my husband 16 years ago but my body is not that of a 19 year old!

I also have really, really large breasts (36F and yes, F is an actual cup size) and have wanted to have a breast reduction. I can't wear normal bathing suits or dresses. Best part is our insurance would even cover the entire cost but my husband says he thinks it would be the biggest mistake I ever made. WTH

I also have the stretch marks and I guess they are there for life. My Aunt had a tummy tuck a few years ago after she knew she was done having kids. I remember the recovery being really rough for her. I'm not sure I would do it but I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about it too!


----------



## Idontknownow (Sep 30, 2010)

I don't know about the tummy. I have two small stretch marks on each hip that don't really effect me. But my boobs OMG...I was a small B and filled to a full D with each child. They are so stretched out. I hate them and he loves to see me naked and I just don't like how saggy they are. They used to be soooo nice.

We said I could get a boob job when we were done with kids. We have decided we are done, so I am hoping to get my boobs done in the next year. He could care less, he says they are fine. I disagree.


----------



## Nekko (Oct 13, 2009)

I didn't have a child yet but i'm really interested in this. Sorry to bother you with my questions but does natural birth or a c-section have a greater impact on how you look/feel afterwards?

For the record, for some reason i'm exceptionally "attached" to my boobs. I want to keep them and me in the best shape possible after having a child. Is there anything a person can do to achieve that?


----------



## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Girls you can take belly dance lessons or work out in the gym, that help tighten the tummy. I go to belly dance class one a week. I feel more confident even I've put on weights instead of losing. I'm slightly over-weighted with a tummy. Right, you know, belly dance is also sexy especially the vibrantion of the hip. No men can resist that hip.


----------



## stumblealong (Jun 30, 2010)

Trenton said:


> Doesn't a tummy tuck leave a pretty big scar? Stumble, you're not alone. I think all of us Mom's have been there. I'm actually about 15 pounds lighter than when I met my husband 16 years ago but my body is not that of a 19 year old!
> 
> I also have really, really large breasts (36F and yes, F is an actual cup size) and have wanted to have a breast reduction. I can't wear normal bathing suits or dresses. Best part is our insurance would even cover the entire cost but my husband says he thinks it would be the biggest mistake I ever made. WTH
> 
> I also have the stretch marks and I guess they are there for life. My Aunt had a tummy tuck a few years ago after she knew she was done having kids. I remember the recovery being really rough for her. I'm not sure I would do it but I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about it too!


Having surgery is scary, but usually things go fine, but there is always that chance... My friend had a breast reduction and she had so many complications afterward she said she wouldn't of had it done if she knew what was to happen. My boss had breast implants and has never had a single problem. I myself am 36DD and that was fine until everything started to droop big time after having my daughter!


----------



## stumblealong (Jun 30, 2010)

Nekko said:


> I didn't have a child yet but i'm really interested in this. Sorry to bother you with my questions but does natural birth or a c-section have a greater impact on how you look/feel afterwards?
> 
> For the record, for some reason i'm exceptionally "attached" to my boobs. I want to keep them and me in the best shape possible after having a child. Is there anything a person can do to achieve that?


 I was attached to my boobs too! Then they headed south! Everyone's body is different, my sis hardly has a stretch mark and she has very small breasts (A size) so they don't droop. You can hardly tell she has had 4 kids. I only had 1 and may as well had 10 the way my gut looks. I guess it is all in the luck of the draw! I had my girl natural birth, so I don't have the c-section scar, but the stretched out skin is enough. C-Section births I hear are very difficult, I mean you have your stomach cut clear across, going to be a significant scar. Either way, most women have some serious body changes after having a child.


----------



## stumblealong (Jun 30, 2010)

Idontknownow said:


> I don't know about the tummy. I have two small stretch marks on each hip that don't really effect me. But my boobs OMG...I was a small B and filled to a full D with each child. They are so stretched out. I hate them and he loves to see me naked and I just don't like how saggy they are. They used to be soooo nice.
> 
> We said I could get a boob job when we were done with kids. We have decided we are done, so I am hoping to get my boobs done in the next year. He could care less, he says they are fine. I disagree.


I don't like how saggy my boobs are either. Man! When u are used to seeing your body a certain way, then have such changes, it's pretty unnerving. I hate being so vain, there are so many more important things in life, yet when u look in the mirror and don't like what you see, you lose confidence in yourself and that crosses over into all other parts of your life. At least that is the way I feel. So if getting surgery gets you that confidence back, then it just may be worth it!


----------



## stumblealong (Jun 30, 2010)

MsLonely said:


> Girls you can take belly dance lessons or work out in the gym, that help tighten the tummy. I go to belly dance class one a week. I feel more confident even I've put on weights instead of losing. I'm slightly over-weighted with a tummy. Right, you know, belly dance is also sexy especially the vibrantion of the hip. No men can resist that hip.


I work out all the time. Everything except my torso area looks fine. I have tone underneath the loose skin. I am just way too shy to get out there and belly dance! Not to mention I would die laughing:rofl: seeing my skin sag floppin around while i danced! Oh, I wish I had your confidence!


----------



## Idontknownow (Sep 30, 2010)

stumblealong said:


> I don't like how saggy my boobs are either. Man! When u are used to seeing your body a certain way, then have such changes, it's pretty unnerving. I hate being so vain, there are so many more important things in life, yet when u look in the mirror and don't like what you see, you lose confidence in yourself and that crosses over into all other parts of your life. At least that is the way I feel. So if getting surgery gets you that confidence back, then it just may be worth it!


Yup, thats what I feel a lack of confidence. I hardly every go without a bra even in the comfort of my own home. Only take it off to sleep. I don't want big giant po*n star boobs. I want what I use to have. I will probably get a full C and lift. I am fit and very and I ride horses so I don't need two fun bags that flop around lol. There is no other part of me I can't tone. But I understand the ladies who have tummy issues. My workout buddy is beautiful and lost so much weight but her tummy was pretty stretched by having a baby and she doesn't like it.


----------



## Idontknownow (Sep 30, 2010)

Nekko said:


> I didn't have a child yet but i'm really interested in this. Sorry to bother you with my questions but does natural birth or a c-section have a greater impact on how you look/feel afterwards?
> 
> For the record, for some reason i'm exceptionally "attached" to my boobs. I want to keep them and me in the best shape possible after having a child. Is there anything a person can do to achieve that?


If your going to BF, always wear a bra and constantly express or pump to keep from getting clogged. Try not to let yourself get full so it doesn't make your boobs stretch.

Mostly my boobs got big before I had the kids before my milk came in. Don't know how to avoid that!


----------



## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

i was always small 5ft then i had trip well i sure filled out i was the chick who ate anything that wasnt nailed down never weighed more than 90 i took diet pills jogged yoga still need that tuck h against it i just bought spanks best purchase ever as for ms kate its her job to look her best all the time how tireing blah in bed with my h i dont care he gave me the kids so live it up i strip so fast im the first one nude i try fancy clothes but dont get to use them offten so dont compare yourself to celebs its their job if we had all that money and the nannies and the flexable schedule we would all rock out loud
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

"Tummy tucks" leave a scar that goes from hip to hip. It is usually done below the hip bones so that while wearing panties or a bikini you cannot see it. After about 6 months to a year, the scar fades to a thin, white line. That surgery is painful, involves cutting in to your abdominal muscle and requires drains to remove excess fluid building up in your body. The abdominal muscle (that has been stretched out) it then "pleated" vertically so it in essence forms an internal girdle. The skin on top of that muscle is brought together and any excess is cut off. Recovery time in the hospital is 2 - 4 days but recovery time at home is very strict. No lifting of any kind as that could raise your blood pressure, monitor the drains, record fluid amount and call the surgeon daily with the cc amount. After two weeks, drains are removed and you go on your way. 
C-section scars are hard, ropey and create a "shelf" if you will. A Surgeon cutting in to your abdomen for the purpose of delivering a baby has a totally different agenda than a Plastic Surgeon performing a tummy tuck. Surgeon fees for a tummy tuck is around $8,000 not including hospital and anesthsia which rounds out to a total of about $10,000. 
There is literally no amount of crunches you could ever do to make an abdomen look the same pre-pregnancy. Why? The muscles and skin in that area are like rubber bands. Stretch it out and it doesn't snap back. 9 months of stretching. You can improve the overall look of the abdomen with weight loss and a low carb diet but that's about it. 
Years ago I worked as the office business manager for a Plastic Surgeon. I saw it all. Don't even get me started on what is involved with a breast lift. 
Having said all that, if you want to do this because of YOU, then go for it. I have never had elective surgery but I totally understand those who do.


----------



## stumblealong (Jun 30, 2010)

Brennan or anyone- have you heard about this cryo thing for 'dissolving' the fat in the stomach area? I seen a portion of it on 'the Doctors' and it is outpatient and alot cheaper than a tummy tuck. I did a little research on it, but it is a new thing. I guess they somehow freeze the fat cells and after a few weeks they just die off and get disposed of through natural cleansing process of the body. I saw the supposed before and after pics of some people, and it looked good. I will try to find the website I looked at again and post it on here.


----------



## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Nekko said:


> I didn't have a child yet but i'm really interested in this. Sorry to bother you with my questions but does natural birth or a c-section have a greater impact on how you look/feel afterwards?
> 
> For the record, for some reason i'm exceptionally "attached" to my boobs. I want to keep them and me in the best shape possible after having a child. Is there anything a person can do to achieve that?


I gave birth to my son when I was 24 years old. I wanted to breastfeed him, but I had no milk. So my breasts stay the same. I was C then, I am still C now. Good bras help your breasts stay firm. Lots of massage from your husband also helps a lot. Please make a request for him!


----------

