# This just won't STOP! PLEASE HELP! He's blackmailing me!



## harmonynme (Feb 17, 2013)

Several of you have read that I discovered my fiance of nearly ten years was having an affair. It had been going on for two months. 

After I discovered it, I went crazy. Within 3 days, he left, and moved in with her. Leaving me with all the rent, bills. 

I'll just skip to what's happening now. She changed his address with USPS. Now, all the con-ed bills, which were in his name, went there. Unfortunately, I also discovered, he'd not been paying it. 

When I spoke with Con-ed, they told me I could do nothing, no payment arrangements. Unless I came up with over $1,000, it was going to get cut off. A supervisor took pity on me and told me if I could get him to sign a payment arrangement, they would move forward.

He used it to blackmail me. He told me he wouldn't sign it unless he was given ALL of his items. I needed his items to sell, and pay what I could of the rent (the value of which in any case was perhaps $1,000). 

Now, Con-ed is coming on Monday to shut it OFF!!

Even the Dept. of Social Services said they couldn't help me because it's in HIS name!! 

This has triggered my bipolar disorder, and I've barely been able to function as it is - going crisis to crisis. 3 day notices, trying to keep up with my business, not being able to, con-ed shut off, the emotion, verbal abuse, I am still mourning the loss, the betrayal - IT WILL NOT END!!

Are there NO RESOURCES? Must I be a victim to this unending torture???

Please, anyone???


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

I am not sure what Con-ed is, I am assuming some sort of utility? Is there a chance you can open an account in your name? (May be cheaper than finding $1,000). 

Get him to put something in writing. "I will not pay the bill unless you give me XYZ" and save it as proof. Or if you have a cell phone with a voice or call recorder, you can also capture the way he's treating you that way. (Do a Google search to make sure this is legal in your area).

Not familiar with your story, but my heart goes out to you... Sounds like he's a real prize, huh? Wishing you the best! ((HUGS))

You can also check churches in your area if they offer any kind of assistance. I know a lot of them do where I am...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

. Con ed is the electric company over there


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

I figured.

Lots of places have programs to help those with low-income. You technically now are "less" his income, so maybe they can help set up an account for you in your name and provide a strategy to keep the power on.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

Is there any way to put the utilities in your name?


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## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

When I spoke to my cable company and inadvertently spilled my story to her she immediately sent me the forms for the name change. Thank God all other bills are in mine or both our names


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## harmonynme (Feb 17, 2013)

smallsteps said:


> When I spoke to my cable company and inadvertently spilled my story to her she immediately sent me the forms for the name change. Thank God all other bills are in mine or both our names





smallsteps said:


> Is there any way to put the utilities in your name?


That's the problem! Con-ed, the electric, water, and heating company here in the east coast, says the the bill is on the PROPERTY - not the PERSON. 

So, The Depart. of Social Services, any service, that helps with low income people CANNOT HELP ME UNLESS IT IS IN MY NAME.
I told Con-ed this. I told them I can get help - I even told them I could fax them the lease, the address change, everything!!

I don't understand, Con-ed KNOWS he moved, because of the official change of address, HE'S spoken with Con-ed about the payment arrangement, and to make sure he was in the clear, the notated it all, that's he's living somewhere else, they even said, lastly that they can change the address back!! 

but they will still, do NOTHING, until they get their $1,000 PLUS what's presently owed. 

Moreover, the a*hole can go to a new apartment, open a new account in HIS name, scot-free, because I GOT STUCK having to pay HIS BILL, while he was romancing his affair!! 

He's blocked my texts, my calls. Admittedly, he's driven me so crazy, my symptoms are now full blown. And I lose it when I speak with him. Sadly, I had been symptom free for nearly three years, previously. 

My LAST resort, is that he's a musician, and has gigs nearly every night in the city. The only thing I can threaten to do is to let him know I will go down to his gigs (I will do nothing - just my presence will be enough to throw his performance off). And perhaps that will get him to sign the agreement?? I don't know!!


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

You need to go to Social Services or Income Support Division or whatever you have down there and ask them for resources if they can't help you. It's their *purpose* to help people in similar situations.

Just curious... So, if you were to move out, Con-ed would still demand that $1,000 from the landlord or the new tenant to keep the power on? That sounds very, very strange to me. Do you happen to have a link to their website or policies online? I'm just interested enough to do a little poking around.

Don't go to his shows. He'll know he's under your skin and it'll be a sick victory to him.

If you have the stuff he wants, because you want to sell it anyways, then why not just give it back to him and let him pay the bill? 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

I think I found the site; looks as though they have a number of services available... I don't know what you'd qualify for, but it's worth checking into if you explain your situation.

http://www.coned.com/customercentral/specialservices.asp

So, the bill is on the property, not the name... And they won't let you have any information or make arrangements because the bill is not in your name??

Call and ask to speak with a supervisor. Just bypass the tellerep and go straight to someone who can more effectively assist this kind of circumstance.

Keep us updated... If I think of anything else, I will post it here. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Also, perhaps try getting ahold of a Legal Aid type service in your area. He *might* have certain obligations to you, whether he likes it or not. The only way to find out is to do a little research and ask lots of questions...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## harmonynme (Feb 17, 2013)

YinPrincess said:


> You need to go to Social Services or Income Support Division or whatever you have down there and ask them for resources if they can't help you. It's their *purpose* to help people in similar situations.
> 
> *I can try.....*
> 
> ...


*He won't pay the bill anyway under the "I'm a broke musician" clause. Example: He'd promised to pay the rent through March, then reniged. However for February, he promised to pay $400.00 in exchange for his things. Instead, he gave the landlord $100.00 without telling me, then right away came and got two boxes of things. Luckily, I knew him too well, and filled it with all the clothes that were three sizes too big for him. *


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## harmonynme (Feb 17, 2013)

YinPrincess said:


> Also, perhaps try getting ahold of a Legal Aid type service in your area. He *might* have certain obligations to you, whether he likes it or not. The only way to find out is to do a little research and ask lots of questions...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I have gone to legal services. I have to sue where HE lives, which is in Queens, New York - very far from me by train, in a horrible area, as well. She told me that court is at night - to boot. AND, collecting is also difficult.

She suggested to go for the whole kit and caboodle. Sue him in Supreme Court for $20,000 (lowest amount for Supreme Court) That way, I can do so in my area, and file for everything, pain and suffering, broken contract, utility bill, bills owed (he owes me $225.00 for repairs on his computer he took). I've gotten the papers to file.

It would be pro se representation, and I can have fees, waived claiming low income by affadavit.

Its' time, energy. That's another question I want to ask the folks on here. Should I do pursue that?

In the meantime, what else can I do to PROVE to the energy company the guy has MOVED OUT, and abandoned me? I mean JEEZ!!


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## harmonynme (Feb 17, 2013)

YinPrincess said:


> I think I found the site; looks as though they have a number of services available... I don't know what you'd qualify for, but it's worth checking into if you explain your situation.
> 
> Con Edison: Customer Central - special services
> 
> ...


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Get a statement from your landlord.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Are there Women's Shelters you can call for referrals? In my experience they are AWESOME for being resourceful and helpful. They may know of emergency funds or programs that you may qualify for.

If you have a three-day notice, the utilities are the least of your concerns. Have you contacted the landlord and requested to speak with him or her in person and explain the situation? There are certain rules they must follow to evict someone. If you are served a three-day notice, you are also usually summoned to court to settle or dispute the debt and bring finality to the situation. Has the landlord mentioned going to court at all? What is the reason given for the notice?

What is your employment situation? Are you making any income? Ask the landlord what the minimum s/he will require in order to lift the notice?

Forget about suing him until all of this has been stabilized. Chances are, even if you won your case, enforcing a payout is little more than sending him notices in the mail. Little can be done if he doesn't pay, so you kind of have to pick your battles here. I don't even think the Supreme Court would even see this case, as it seems like it really belongs in small claims.

Start making some phone calls, getting referrals and getting organized. You don't have much time... :/
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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