# Lost with out her



## TheLostGoodGuy (Nov 1, 2010)

I dont know where to begin. When I met my wife I was dealing with alot of demons. I was smoking weed and not being the best father I could to my children. We started dating and slowy but surely I started coming out of my slump. We both had been to Iraq and thats were alot of my problems were coming from. After we got married she got pregnant either that day or the next. I contuined to smoke weed until our baby was born. While I was smokign I wasnt helping out wiht the bills at all. After the birth of our son I cut back alot and started paying the bills and buying furniture to make our home a more pleasent one. I got into college and have been going ever since. I finally quit smoking weed altogether in July and havent looked back. So the first year and half was a rough one. In October we got a phone call saying her dad would be coming later this month to stay with us a week. The thing is he has been gone out of her life for the last ten years. It seemed like once she knew he was coming things really started to get bad. I came home form school one day and she was looking at apartments. She told me she wasnt happy and that wa pretty much the just of it. I figured she had mixed feelings about everything so I figured they would work themselves out. Seeing how I quit weed, I am in college full time, and on my days off which is Wensday-Sunday I am the one that stays at home with the kids. Back to her dad. So finally he shows up and one day after he is here my wife comes and tells me that she wants to get seperate bank accounts. I asked her why and she said she didnt want to get into it with her dad here. Later that night I asked her for sex and we did but she was not into it at all. She told me afterwards she was thinking of a divorce. Thats when **** got really bad fast. She cut me off completly from going to the rest of the planned family activities. We already had reservations to go out to eat with the entire side of her family she told me she didnt want me to go. Well fast forward a couple of days after being cast to the side I spent the night at a friends house until her dad left. Once he left she told me I could stay in the garage until I could afford my own place. Well that didnt last to long. I got extremely depressed and wanted to die so I went and got help. After I got out I movved in with my dad. She told me she wanted time and space to think which I couldnt give to her. I bothered her everyday and we always go into fights. Finally I asked her what couldnt she jsut tell me what was on her mind and she said I dont want to tell you yes I want to get back together and you dont change and I dont want to tell you no and you move on with your life. So the next day I called her and asked I need to know what it is that she wanted that i needed to know if she was going to be with me or not. She got very angry and told me since I gave her an altimatuim the answer is no. So that next day I went over there to talk and she began telling me that she was going to take our son away from me and that I could only see him everyother weekend. So I left and I went to school. Once class was out I went back over there and I lost all control. I took all the furniture that I had bought and moved it in the garage. She began to yell at me and told me I was more worried about the furniture than our son. So i told her he probably isnt mine anyways and that I didnt want to see him ever again. I felt extremly bad afterwrds and cried for hours caused I said that. Now she is telling me that will never get back together that I blew all my chances and now she hates me cause I said the worst thing a man could ever tell a woman. I just wanted her to hurt like I have been hurting for the last 3 weeks. She told me to leave her alone and that if i dont quit callign she will have number blocked. I have apologized many times for saying that but she is not accepting it. What do I do now to win her back?


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## chefmaster (Oct 30, 2010)

TheLostGoodGuy said:


> What do I do now to win her back?


Stand on your own two feet. 

Which you most likely won't be able to do without counseling for what sounds like Depression and PTSD.

I know it doesn't make much sense in this situation to leave her alone and go help yourself, but she needs to be able to see you in a new light.

You very likely have some benefits from the service you aren't aware of, some new ones for counseling just recently became available.

Thank you for your service.


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