# how to approach a BS in a bad marriage.



## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

I have got this guy at work. I really don't like him per say. Just has a bad attitude. I just don't like seeing someone ripped up by infidelity. I had heard he was on the fence and decided to divorce his wife. That was sometime ago. Now i find out that he is still married to his wife. He told a third party about how his wife basically said she wants an open marriage and he is going to have to choose that or leave. He is still in the marriage but because of the guys nature I just don't know how to bring it up or point him to this site.


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## LoveAtDaisys (Jul 3, 2013)

I'd drop an anonymous note on his desk:

"Hey, I heard about your troubles. This site was really helpful to me when I was going through a tough time, it might help you too. Good luck."


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

LoveAtDaisys said:


> I'd drop an anonymous note on his desk:
> 
> "Hey, I heard about your troubles. This site was really helpful to me when I was going through a tough time, it might help you too. Good luck."


He might be lying for sympathy?

His wife might have found him stepping out on her.

He has a bad attitude?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LoveAtDaisys (Jul 3, 2013)

Either way, let him post his tale here.  He'll get the help he needs!


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

NOTE ON DESK.....

I really dont like you per say. You have a bad attitude. I just don't like seeing someone ripped up by infidelity. I've been there. Do yourself a favor.

Coping with Infidelity

Best wishes


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## life101 (Nov 18, 2012)

Be careful, messengers have an uncanny habit of getting shot at.


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## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

I work in IT so I think I might engineer something.


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

badbane said:


> his wife basically said she wants an open marriage and he is going to have to choose that or leave. He is still in the marriage but because of the guys nature I just don't know how to bring it up or point him to this site.


If he is still in the marriage after his wife essentially says "I need to boink other guys", how is TAM going to help him? Sounds like he won't help himself. Combine that with a "questionable personality/attitude" it sounds like he will get our advice and ignore it .... like so many others.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

The Middleman said:


> If he is still in the marriage after his wife essentially says "I need to boink other guys", how is TAM going to help him? Sounds like he won't help himself. Combine that with a "questionable personality/attitude" it sounds like he will get our advice and ignore it .... like so many others.


Let's reverse engineer this?

Man with bad attitude 'asks' wife to swing. Wife swings, finds out she likes it.

The only reason I raise this possibility is that we had a real POS neighbour who had a real bad attitude. He forced his wife to swing. (Well, it was that or a beating, afterwards.)

When she finally plucked up the courage to leave him he told everyone at work such a sob story.


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## hopefulgirl (Feb 12, 2013)

Dangerous territory when you're getting this info third hand: hard to know what's true about his situation. Unless HE told you any of this, you don't know how much of the story got altered in being passed on. You could be triggering at the "unfairness" of it all; while your instinct to help a possible fellow BS is admirable and coming from a place of good intentions, you can't be sure that a BS situation is what is going on here. If he hasn't confided in you about his story, it might be best to avoid giving advice or resources of any kind in case they are not appropriate to his situation. You know what hell is paved with....


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