# Hesitation in getting married (Should I do it?)



## Indorock (Jan 5, 2010)

I have been with my girlfriend for almost 4 years and she is my first love. I am American and she is Japanese. We met in Hawaii while studying at university. We have kept a long ditance relationship for about 10 months 2 years ago. We are now living together since 2007 and still attending school, but somewhere else. We will both graduate soon and her parents want to know when she will marry me or what her decision will be for the future (job, where she will live, etc.) I also spoke with my family together with her about it. 
However, I still feel I have my doubts about the marriage since she will never apologize for anything she does wrong and I feel like I have been doing alot for her ( writing her papers, driving her everywhere). 
Her family is really rich ( father owns electronic company --nothing famous) compared to my own and I feel that she and her family may expect a lot from me. Last semester we were fighting a lot but nothing was physical, but I feel that she doesn't give me any space. She hates my friends and dislikes some members of my family. I cannot hang out with friends when I want to or engage in any of my hobbies freely. We made a list of the issues that we need to discuss and I told her to write all the things that bother her about me and I her. The list was really long and I plan to ask her to write a list about the good things, but now she is beginning to think marriage is not a good idea since she would have to leave Japan and live with me here. I am also not so sure I would want to live in Japan to leave my friends and family as well. Despite these sacrifices one of us may have to make, is it still worth getting married even if I feel like I am being used and have no space? I would love to talk to a relationship therapist but too busy with school. etc. and of course, no money! Any advice would help. Thanks


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