# Wife orgasm 'problem'



## jimmydoe (Jan 5, 2012)

Hi all, I've been with my wife for over 15 years. At the start of our relationship we tried some things (her on top, doggystyles, some kamasutra positions) and we both loved it, but when I asked her back then if she had an orgasm, she just said "I don't". When I asked her if she never had one with me, or never at all, she said "I don't know". Back then I found it kinda strange and figured she didn't want to hurt my feelings (she was my first, she had a few partners before me) and didn't pay to much attention to it anymore (figured it would happen at one time or another).
We got more and more close, mostly had sex after a night out, or the morning after and we experimented (BJ's, giving her oral, using my finger)... 
But as time went on things started to slip; sex became less frequent, we got into a few arguments over it in those years and now we're at once a week, on sundays. When we do it it's always the same routine; we kiss for a few minutes (but not passionate anymore), I undress her, and myself, and we do "it" until I come and I always figured she has an orgasm sometimes.

Lately I've been getting more and more annoyed by this; it's just to plain and it seemed as if she was only doing it to please me. So, last night I confronted her: after we had sex I just asked het if she had an orgasm, of if she ever does. She just said "I don't know, it's not important to me". I tried explaining that for me it's easy to orgasm, but it's hard for me to tell what she likes (she never talks during sex) and that I have no clue what to do if she doesn't tell me. To be honest: I just continue until I thought she had an orgasm and then I let myself go. 
But now it looks like as if I've been 'wrong' all this time, which kinda blows my mind/confidence.

To make matters worse: in my stupid mind I figured that if we had sex and she didn't come she'd just get herself off using the shower (she takes long showers). So I asked her if that was the case (not that I would mind if she did masturbate), but if she did know how to orgasm herself, she could maybe incorporate that into sex. She got mad: and said she never did that, never touched herself (which she has said a few times before during the course of our relationship)....

I told her I was not enjoying the scheduled sex on a sunday kinda thing anymore and she just said: " it's both of us, you don't inititate it on another day either". Which is true, but because she never ever initates sex anymore herself and I got turned down a few times when I tried something during the week, I just settled for the sundays 

Long story short: wife says she doesn't know if she ever had an orgasm during our 15 years of marriage. She says she doesn't care if she does: she likes it when I orgasm. She doesn't ever initiate sex anymore, or give me a handjob (let alone BJ's which she now claims to have never liked).
When I asked why we never try another position anymore she said "back then I didn't feel thing as good as I feel them now" (I think she means I now try to use my penis in a different way when I'm on top, use it to rub over her vagina/clit when I'm inside). She no longer wants me to touch her (I would love to have a long foreplay, rubbing and licking her between her thighs, or kissing her breasts before and during sex). It's as if she has given up on the idea of ever reaching an orgasm.
I told her we're both in our late 30's and got a whole life ahead of us, why not experiment some more, but I'm not sure she even wants to "find out" anymore.

Any tips, hints, thoughts?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Well first she would have to agree to work on improving your sex life.

I think that the two of you need to see a sex therapist.


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## HelloooNurse (Apr 12, 2010)

Maybe she's had enough of you whinging at her about sex all the time. You sound like a right nag when it comes to the topic of sex. You need to settle down and take a chill pill. Its no wonder she isn't into it. Sounds more like boot camp than a sexual encounter!


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## Goodgirl87 (Dec 23, 2011)

If she truly doesnt know if she has ever orgasmed, I would be willing to bet she never has. It is something that you dont have to think about...cant miss it.


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## TallJeff (Nov 1, 2011)

First Jimmy: women don't climax as easily as you do. 

Second: Many women NEVER climax from penetration.

Third: Many women ENJOY sex without climaxing. You may not be able to wrap your head around that, but it's true.

Do you go down on her? The easiest way (for me) to make any woman orgasm is via oral. And if you don't know what you're doing, go read some things on the internet about licking her.

And DO NOT focus on her orgasm. Just kiss her and say "I really want to taste you tonight" or something like that. Then go down on her. Don't say "My goal is to make you cum" -- that's very unsexy and puts too much pressure on her.

Though if she's never made herself cum, you have your work cut out for you.


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## jimmydoe (Jan 5, 2012)

@HelloooNurse.
I didn't whine about sex all the time. Turns out that was the big problem: lack of communication 
This was the 1st time I asked her about it (yeah, I know, men are stupid like that sometimes).

Had another talk about it. Turns out talking is key. Asked her what sex was like before she started dating me (previous partners). She said that was really bad and she felt comfortable with me for the first time (basically the same as she had told years ago, she told me then I was the first that went down on her, that her previous partners only seemed to think aboyt their own pleasure).

She just likes it the way it is now, although she said she'd (sometimes) like it to last longer. Which is where we had a disconnect in communication: sometimes I felt like she was 'finished' (because of the way she was grabbing me and pulling me inside her), so I figured I'd come myself, instead of me asking, or her telling me to continue. 
So, we came to the conclusion that we need to talk more 

About the simulation of breasts and vagina, and oral (giving/receiving), she said that she just assumed I wasn't into that anymore, cause I never talked about it, or asked. I told her I missed doing those things to her, because I enjoyed them, and I figured she didn't want it anymore (cause sometimes she wasn't in the mood for that, so I guess I just quit asking). 
I told her the hottest thing I ever heard her say was when she asked me to 'lick her', to which she replied: "wow, I guess I was real drunk then". So I guess there's also the embarassment factor.
I tried to tell her that the greatest thing about sex for me is seeing her enjoy it and that I don't need to be drunk to go down on her.

She said again that she was enjoying the way we have sex now (position/technique), that that alone felt good enough and she didn't 'need' the extra stimulation (so she never asked me for it, while I was 'afraid' to just do it), but of course she wouldn't mind if I did. I told her I'd like to 'play' with her *****, as I don't have one myself  and it's a turn on for me. She said once more something like "I have one, but I don't play with it myself", so I believe for some reason she just never felt like touching herself down there. I think I learned a few things in all those years about how to touch her (by using the tip of my penis to rub against her clit, without using hands or fingers); back then I didn't really have a clue, which doesn't help. So I assume if she'd guide me when I use my hands ore tongue she'd be able to explain what feels best.

I was a fool to have never asked her sooner, and I guess things should improve for her as well as for me. I think maybe the big O might be in our future, if we only communicate more.

And no, it's not a goal to make her have one, so no pressure, but I think it would be a nice experience to share with her; that's why I love her so much.


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## romantic_guy (Nov 8, 2011)

It is great that you guys are having good communication about sex now! One thing that has helped us is reading a book together. My wife has never had a problem with orgasm but it has helped us communicate. "The Guide To Getting It On" was good. The other one was "Your Long Erotic Weekend". It takes 4 days and is best to do when you can take 3 or 4 days. There is a day where the pleasure is focused on her, a day when it is focused on her, then a day when you both enjoy an orgasm together. You end drawing up a "good for life sex plan". I was one of the best 4 day get-a ways ever took!


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## romantic_guy (Nov 8, 2011)

Thanks for this perspective, minimalME. I hope you can find that someone.


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## FrankKissel (Nov 14, 2011)

I've often found that it's far more important to me that my wife orgasms than it is to her. Ego thing, I suppose. Sounds a bit like your situation. 

Anyhow, you've received a lot of good advice here. One more thing to consider: the more your wife feels she "has" to orgasm, the less likely she will. So as important as it is to you, don't let her know that. Instead, let her enjoy the process without concerning herself with the end game. Do that, and the orgasms are much more likely to occur.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Monty4321 (Jul 15, 2011)

HelloooNurse said:


> Maybe she's had enough of you whinging at her about sex all the time. You sound like a right nag when it comes to the topic of sex. You need to settle down and take a chill pill. Its no wonder she isn't into it. Sounds more like boot camp than a sexual encounter!


I would feel sorry for your husband being that you see this as nagging. I didn't see anywhere in there where he was nagging her. Sex/Intimacy is a one of the major parts of a marriage - both spouses should do all they can within reason to please each other and find enjoyment for themselves. 

If he brings these things up to his wife obviously she should recognize that this is something important to him. If she refuses to respond in some way that's when it becomes a problem. I can then see it as nagging if she constantly ignores the issue. It would be her fault that nagging starts.

Your comment is pretty ignorant.


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## SoCalHubby (Jan 7, 2012)

I think you need to make it clear to your wife that this is a real problem that requires her full and complete attention, that you are devoted to her and your marriage but this is a potential deal breaker. Sexual intimacy and fulfillment is NOT an unreasonable expectation! Your wife should at least be willing to discuss this in an open and honest way, and you should problem solve together to make things better. I agree w others that too much focus on the big O is usually counterproductive. Instead I would focus on intimacy and attitude -- sex should be fun, fulfilling, and it should make you and your wife feel emotionally connected. Counseling of some sort may be helpful.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LoyalLover (Jan 11, 2012)

TRUTH: I have this situation exactly. I have been a relationship for a year, sexually active about 7 months. He has had a previous partner, but he was my first. I know I can get an O because I can give myself them. However when we have sex, I get REALLY turned on and wet, but no O. He knows this and we too have tried different things. Yes, she probably has given up. I basically have after 7 months...after 15 years? I can see how she feels. It is difficult to just "say what you like". If you continue to encourage that you will do what she pleases and show her that I think she will turn around...I would. lol To complicate my situation, he loves BJs and I am not apposed at all. I would though like to get the benefits as well. He has gotten me off using his finger and knows that too, but he doesn't ever do it. Says he will openly but doesn't. How can I say that I want to feel the same way too? He claims is ex didn't like for him to do it to her...so I assume he just doesn't like it. Fine, but I am getting nothing here. She is being honest when she says I am happy when you get off. To know that we can do that feels great. 
She DOES want to fix this. 
She DOES want to have an orgasm. 
She IS embarrassed. 
& She DOESN'T believe it will happen.


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## cheese puff (Jul 24, 2011)

do you use toys or oral to stimulate her clit. most women dont O from penetration. It took my wife and i 8 years to learn how to O. now i can turn her on like a switch. Also my wife never talks about sex so i had to learn and teach her.


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## LoyalLover (Jan 11, 2012)

My man doesn't seem that willing...he doesn't like to talk about it much. He thinks it may be him.


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## jimmydoe (Jan 5, 2012)

I havent done oral in years. I figured she didn't like it and to be honest I didn't really know what I was supposed to do back then (think I know a bit more about how a woman works now). Havent used my fingers to stimulate her either, cause I did that thing where I use my penis to run against her clit. I always thought she came from
this cause at some point she usually grabs my butt and pulls me inside her and then starts making movements with her hips (to make
me cum). When I asked her what she felt and why she wants me to finish at some point she says that her thing goes crazy at some point and if we go on much longer (like 5 minutes) it will start to hurt. 
I do notice she gets very wet at that point when I reenter, but because my penis is not inside of her at that moment (cause rubbing er clit with it) I don't know if she could actually be having an orgasm (can't feel if she has contractions I mean). But i read online that a woman will know if she has one, one my wife is honestly unsure of it. 

A few days ago she gave me a spontaneous HJ. While she was doing that she said she didn't actually know what she was doing; was she doing it right? So I guided her with my hands and showed her what felt best. I hope things like this will make her losen up a bit and allow her to tell me hat she likes. 

She also said she's not sure what I want most of the times; do I want sex every time I kiss her? As an example: last week we were in bed, I was kissing her and running her thighs, so I got turned on and she did feel me erection, but at some point she just got up and said we should get going. When I asked her a we days later why she did that when she clearly felt my hardon she said she didn't know I wanted to do something (or would love her to do something with it). 
So again: a miscommunication; In my mind I was trying everything to seduce her to have sex or help me out, in her mind I was just kissing her and was not expecting anything.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jbear (Jan 12, 2012)

Communication is important as in every other area of a relationship... You have a ton of great ideas for wooing her and telling her what she means to you... Ask her what she would like to try sometimes.... ask about her dreams and if she has a hard time talking.... talk while in bed and lights off.... that maybe a little easier to talk then  Make up a sex to try list.... have a date night once a month where you get romantic and follow up with a different sexual position every month. 

and about O...
It has always been about position
State of mind and friction! 

Sounds like these folks know more than I but might I suggest her on top... or you on top with her knees to her chest and feet abover her head... a flat pillow under her bum may help... other wise I believe I read once that some women just dont O but remember that sex to women is more than just sex but a connection.... good luck and good hunting


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

jimmydoe said:


> A few days ago she gave me a spontaneous HJ. While she was doing that she said she didn't actually know what she was doing; was she doing it right? So I guided her with my hands and showed her what felt best. I hope things like this will make her losen up a bit and allow her to tell me hat she likes. _Posted via Mobile Device_


Try and use this as a way to learn about what she wants. As you are kissing and caressing her, mention this event and tell her you want to do the same thing with her - that you want her to guide you and your hands and lips to show you what feels good. Don't push for the orgasm, just use it as a first step by learning what she likes and what she does not.


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## LoyalLover (Jan 11, 2012)

Jbear said:


> It has always been about position
> State of mind and friction!
> 
> Sounds like these folks know more than I but might I suggest her on top... or you on top with her knees to her chest and feet above her head... a flat pillow under her bum may help.


What other positions do you guys suggest to spark the O?


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## Jbear (Jan 12, 2012)

Women often have things on their mind... My H would talk about friends his mother and things he has to do later in the day... that is a distraction dont do that! 

Clear her mind with romantic talk according to the 5 love needs women desire sex for different reasons then men, a closeness a connection... butter her up with foreplay... that will help get her thinking in the right direction. Her on top is the best way because we can do what we like and can increase... just by leaning slightly... and can speed up at just the right time... where you arnt a mind reader and may just stop short... I have never recieved oral sex... so I can not testify to the things suggested above but you can always get a sex bible... or even a book of positions from your local book store or on your kindle  read through it together... 

The thought of trying something new can be very erotic and reconfirm a feeling of closeness and trust


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

FrankKissel said:


> I've often found that it's far more important to me that my wife orgasms than it is to her. Ego thing, I suppose. Sounds a bit like your situation.
> 
> Anyhow, you've received a lot of good advice here. One more thing to consider: the more your wife feels she "has" to orgasm, the less likely she will. So as important as it is to you, don't let her know that. Instead, let her enjoy the process without concerning herself with the end game. Do that, and the orgasms are much more likely to occur.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


YEP SAME HERE

After many years and much communication and we tried everything my wife is extrememly clitoral. Penetration just won't do it 1 out of a 100 times maybe during a lunar eclipse.

She loves to see me get off then hands, oral, toys, or a combination of the above:smthumbup::smthumbup: works everytime for her!!

Wild G google it blows her world to pieces!!


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## jimmydoe (Jan 5, 2012)

Back again... Been reading up online about female orgasms and how most women don't orgasm from sex alone, but need some form of clitoral stimulation to go with it. So I tried to make a 'move' a few times during foreplay (foreplay with us is actually just kissing), but she just pushed me away or moved her legs away. Last week I sent her and email when she was in the room next door (I was still in the bedroom) about me wanting to kiss her all over and slowly work my way down, kissing her panties and the inside of her thighs, until I would feel how warm she got etc, before taking them off and let her decide if she wanted me to go down on her of just do her... and how I wanted to touch her breasts while we were doing it. She just came into the room and asked why I was sending her that crazy email 
I told her I figured I'd let her know what things I like to do instead of just grabbing and starting to kiss her everywhere, cause I figured she'd get mad if I'd do that. Long story short: she said she actually didn't mind if I did any of those things, and blamed me for putting it in my head that she did't want that. We had sex a few times after this conversation and I carressed her breasts during those times, but still, when I tried to touch her ***** she moved her legs so I couldn't reach it (she still had her underwear on), or when I got her naked and went to kiss her pubic hair, she just pulled me back up. 
So this morning I figured I'd tell her I'd been reading up on the O thing and how most women seem to have an orgasm (or better chance of) when their clitoris is stimulated and asked her if she knew where it was located.
She said she didn't know! I was kinda amazed by that and asked her how the hell she didn't know that 
She told me that her "thing" is not like a penis and everything is inside or 'hidden' away. She said I can barely see me own labia, how am I supposed to find my clitoris, I don't go around touching myself down there to look for it. So I suggested she could've used a mirror, but she just said she never checked or felt the need to do that on her own. I asked her if she never read those articles in women's magazines about "The big O" and masturbating, or using the detachable showerhead etc, but she said she skipped those sex stories....
I was, once again, amazed: my wife had never had an orgasm, never masturbated and doesn't know where her clitoris is located. And I am more than willing to help her find out 

I guess for a male it's just so easy: you have your penis in your hand a few times a day when urinating and a few times a day you get a hardon. If that happens to be in a convenient location you jerk off 

She said sex was fine the way we do it, she enjoys it, I enjoy it and it's been 15+ years, we still have sex, so what's there to complain? I agreed, but just told her that maybe there might be an even better feeling out there; what if we could discover together what it feels like if I try and stimulate her clit? Maybe she can orgasm, or maybe she can't, who know, but at least give it a try...

I guess she reluctantly agreed with me, so we'll see where it goes from here...


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Well, keep doing that research and practicing! 

Another resource:

Give Her An Orgasm - GiveHerAnOrgasm.com

As well, there are certain positions you can do that can increase stimulation of the clitoris. This includes 1) woman on top so that she can grind herself against your pubic bone or 2) the CAT position (Coital Alignment Technique - you can google it) which is a missionary style position where you grind against her instead of the typical up and down motion.

And, you are right that for some women, they are very disconnected from all of their lady bits. That may seem hard for men to believe, but everything is kind of hidden and tucked away and it often has a very utilitarian and functional aspect to it, which can often supplant and hide the pleasurable aspects to it.

Another thing you can try to do is awaken her sensual side with all of the other senses, not just during sex but throughout each day - learning to enjoy the pleasure of touch - of each other and various objects; the pleasure of sound - different kinds of music or sounds, even windchimes or the wind blowing through the pines; the pleasure of visual - looking at beautiful art or a sunset; the pleasure of taste ...

I hope that you two can help her unlock the sensual beauty and pleasure that her body is capable of.

Best wishes.


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## Mrs. Yes (Jan 5, 2012)

So glad that you are communicating now - that can only lead to a better relationship and intimacy.

I rarely orgasm with penetration - but am blessed with a husband that works to satisfy me. We have been married 21 years and he is still very turned on by seeing me satisfied.

Keep talking and keep trying. Sex and intimacy is something that you need to keep communicating about - doesn't matter how long you have been together. Keep working and it will pay off!

I will never say no in 2012


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## Auzzie (Jan 23, 2012)

She really needs to learn her own body. I am in the same boat as your W. I only had my first O at 32...so its never to late for learn herself. She needs to know it isnt wrong to touch herself, or dirty. In any way. Ever.


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## Perfectloving (Jan 29, 2012)

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## duchesspink (Jan 28, 2012)

it sounds to me that your wife is in a frustrating situation. She's been happy with her sex life for years and hasn't had an orgasm, but now her H is desperate to "Help her achieve" one.

she perhaps feels under pressure from you and honesly she's never going to loosen up if she's feeling that.
When i've got other things on my mind and get a sexual text message from my partner, I roll my eyes and sometimes don't bother replying... it doesn't make you want to rush off and ****. I can see why she asked what you were thinking of sending that email. It was just pressure to her.

Other times I get those kind of text messages and i'm transformed into a horny vixen. I can't explain why sometimes it does it for me and other times it doesn't/

I'm very lucky in that I orgasm multiple times during sex and always have done. I have had sex though where i've just not been into it and am going through mental chores so not concentrating, i think when i'm feeling like that, i'd not orgasm no matter what the guy was doing.

Its not a thing that you can make happen in a woman if she's not in the right place mentally, you can lick, finger, massage until the cows come home and its not going to work if her brain isn't engaged in the act itself.

leave off discussing it unless she brings it up as I think you are probably making her feel odd now that she isn't orgasming and this is only going to give her a crisis of confidence.

she's happy with the status quo so let her be


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Some women never ever orgasm. I guess if she's fine not doing it, perhaps you might want back off from it.

Or you could bring in toys.lol. A rabbit vibrator works very well in stimulating an orgasm. She may want to use the low setting at first. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jimmydoe (Jan 5, 2012)

Well, the frequency has improved since our first talkt about this; we're at 3 times a week now (2 times sex + handjob), which I think is great. Sure, if she wanted more, I wouldn't say no, but I think this about right for the both of us (my drive is higher, but I jerk off sometimes, to release some stress).

I'm not asking or pressuring her anymore about her (lack of) orgasm or how to "fix" it, but I do try to make foreplay longer (more kissing and carressing her breasts). And I read about the coital alignment technique, so I'm trying to throw that in there when we do it. And now that I know she hasn't orgasmed until now, I try and keep myself from orgasming until I notice she wants me to cum, so at least it's more fun for her, I guess.

I guess she's still insecure about me or herself touching her privates, though I think she's slowly getting more comfortable with me touching her (just play with her pubic hair so far). Although when we have sex and get really into it she does sometimes pull her outer lips apart so I can go real deep. And when she does that I think: why don't you touch your clit while you're at it, but I guess those are two different things, in her mind 

Slowly making progress, and happy we talked about this.

About the vibrator: we tried one of those durex play rings once, I put on my penis, but once I had it up against her clit/vagina area she freaked out, which I can imagine, cause that thing was vibrating violently


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## LonelyNLost (Dec 11, 2010)

I think it's awesome that you're opening that door to communicating about sex. And I understand here naivety about sex, because I've been there, albeit a long time ago. I had sex for the first time when I was 17, it was a one time thing with an ex, and he only cared about getting himself off. I didn't even get sex, really. I then met my stbx and he was much more experienced. He wanted to go down on me but I was of the mindset that that was naughty and I didn't feel comfortable with it. I hadn't had an orgasm, hadn't touched myself or explored down there, or anything. We'd kiss and I'd get really turned on, and he'd grind against me, which felt good, but no orgasm. He then started fingering me, and I had my first orgasm. At that point, I opened up to more. I'd give him handjobs and all, as well, just guessing what to do. He wanted to perform oral on me, and I pushed him away. Then I remember he just said, "trust me, you'll like it, and if you don't we don't have to do it again" and let's just say I loved it. I was much more open from that point forward with him, and when we had sex, etc. We were definitely more focused on my orgasms, as I never gave him blowjobs or handjobs really in our 14 years together. But I was always satisfied, and he got off easily as well. I felt like we were compatible.

Fast forward to now, as a 33 year old woman, in a new relationship where communication and openness is very well anchored. I've had the best sex of my life, and been opened up to a lot more. I communicate better and tell him what I want, I enjoy giving blow jobs, we talk dirty, have explored fantasies and fetishes, and everything. In my prior relationship I never used toys, and I hardly ever masturbated. We've now tried toys together (Hitachi Magic Wand...OMG) and while it isn't an every time thing, it's fun to do. We've experimented with a lot, and I love it. Sex is fun and exciting, and we talk about it frequently. I am also able to have many orgasms back to back, and always have, but he's brought them to a new level. It's really nice to be able to experiment and research and learn new things. I love it. He even has helped me learn how to masturbate (we're long distance, so sometimes we make ourselves happy together). 

It just honestly sounds like your wife is shy and reserved and uneducated about sex. I think that if she opens up just a bit and you take things slowly together, she could be getting so much more out of your sex life. She needs to find her sexual power and use it. Is she open to watching porn? That might help a bit. The sex will bring you closer as well. You guys are young, live it up. There's so much to learn! Good luck.


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## jimmydoe (Jan 5, 2012)

Nope, she's not into porn :scratchhead:

I told her as well: sex now is nice, but it could be even nicer (for her). I always orgasm and know what a great feeling it is, so why not explore her body together and figure out what she likes? 

She told me about her previous partners; the 1st time for her was unpleasant and painful, the guy was only interested in getting himself off, and even went on while she was crying. It was consensual sex, but an experience like that can't be easy to get past, I think (or maybe thats how a lot of girls lose their virginity, I haven't got a clue).
After that she had two other short relations (sex once or twice) and a 1,5 year relationship... She tells me she didn't enjoy it back then, which I first thought was to make me feel better, but from the talks we've had lately I've come to the conclusion that she's sincere with her answers and doesn't sugercoat things. So I think sex before me has always been more about her partner then about her. 

When we met she was my first, so I guess that kinda helped (no pressure from me, I took things slow) and she told me back then she didn't like it when her previous partners touched her 'down there' (but she allowed me to touch her, maybe because I was inexperienced and it all went gradually as we 'discovered' eachother).


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## LonelyNLost (Dec 11, 2010)

Yeah, she screams of being uncomfortable in her own skin. Until she is comfortable with herself, she isn't going to be comfortable with you exploring her body. All you can do is reassure her of how beautiful she is and how gorgeous her body is and how badly you want to explore her and give her pleasure. Little by little maybe she'll be open to more. I wouldn't say I'm into porn by any means, but it doesn't bother me. The reason I asked is because at least anatomically, you can both get a good idea of where things are and what feels good. She seems to be at least talking about it, so maybe there's a chance. But she definitely hasn't had an orgasm if she "doesn't know" if she's had one. It doesn't sound like sex is an area she discusses any time with any one, she just avoids it. Kind of sad, but imagine how amazing it will be once she realizes how much fun it is!


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