# Is it all a waste of time?



## Figs (Dec 2, 2009)

first a quick summary of my situation. a dual military marriage, while deployed W drops the need for a D, because her unhappiness. currently W in a EA w/OM. i had an EA in the past an admitted to it. i have emotional communication difficulties, but trying to work on myself.

with the help of this forum, i have finally accepted that there is not a quick fix!! i am past the feeling sorry for myself and desperation stages. and i dont feel as sad as i use too and dont cry as much neither. i still have a strong urge to be affectionate with her, even when she doesnt return affection back. 

now, i just notice, im in the "mr. nice guy seeking her approval" stage. and it sometimes feels like she is walking all over me. i want to do everything around the house, and take more care of my daughter. these are some of the big "points" of my W unhappiness. and i know i havent contributed nearly as much as she has over the past 3yrs. but i am making a real strong effort, to do everything. and it helps distract me from myself and negative thinking. 

my question is, should i cut back on trying to please her 24/7? or do it in a more subtle way? i dont know how to continue demonstrating i am trying to change my ways and improve myself, without cleaning and or crying in front of her.


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