# Early 40s, married, kid, mortgage, and stuck in a career that bring me no joy....



## CASE_Sensitive (Jul 22, 2013)

I would love to quit my job, but can't. My experience would qualify me for similar roles with other companies. I'm getting more and more disgruntled, weaker performance, and feeling stuck. My wife works, but we basically need the two incomes. 

Anyone else going through the same thing.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Dave Ramsey. Check out his Financial Peace University, which is frequently taught at churches or you can get his home study course. His book "Total Money Makeover" is excellent, too. Those will help you get some relief from the financial pressures.

Can you explore other jobs at other companies while still working your current job? If you find something better you can take it, but if not you will still have your current job.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

what kind of job you do?

And if you say your experience would qualify you for similar jobs in other companies, why not explore that?

Is it a career change you would like, or just change companies?


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## kitty2013 (Dec 6, 2013)

I want to give you a hug because I feel the same way.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Sell house, live in one room or studio apartment as close to work/public transport as possible...freedom is possible, you just need to change the constraint lines of the equation. Once you have kids and a mortgage, the rules of the game aren't in your favor, your bosses have you in their hand. Even new employers can check you out before hiring, and once you are a new employee, you have to work extra hard to prove yourself. You need to think like a warrior, and be willing to live like one too. In your case it will be a family effort, your spouse needs to be on board. You can't have dissent from within. Kid too. You need to align your behavior with what you really want, maybe you thought you wanted a mortgage and think that because you have a kid, you are obliged to provide a certain 'lifestyle' for said kid...but, there is no proof to back up those beliefs. You made choices based on illusions, perhaps, that had nothing to do with what you really wanted. Oops, but it's not too late, houses can be sold, lifestyles can be changed. Skills and networking can be accomplished/gained...
You need a vision, once you have a vision, you need a general plan, and buy-in from your family (even the kid), once you have all that, then you can see and take advantage of opportunities. It's all about risk management, timing, and being prepared.


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## TiredFamilyGuy (Jan 18, 2014)

Totally with you. I am late forties and in much the same situation. That said, my view of it changes according to my mood. If I have nagging wife and unappreciative brood, it seems like toil and I am perpetually weary. If my wife is pleasant and children recognise the effort, then I am Hero Of Soviet Labour and all is good. So - it's in my head: I live a life of comparative affluence and ease, all my problems are first world ones. Imagine yours is much the same. 

What has helped, is exercise, better sleep, and making a specific goal for retirement (Five more years). Check out the Early Retirement Extreme people if you are keen to Get Out Soon.

The kid will grow up - I would swap five years of life to have the formative years again of mine. 

Good luck.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good morning CaseSensitive
I think a lot of people go through a phase like this. I think it is a sign that you should think about your employment options. Look around a little for other jobs. Think about what sort of work you wish you were doing, then make a long term plan to move in that direction.

This is a sort of mid-life crisis - things aren't working out the way you hoped. You still have time to change them, but you need to think carefully about what you want and how to get there. If you just muddle on, you will be in your 50s like me, and wishing you had done something in your 40s......


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