# twice in 4 years...



## sortaskinny (Dec 3, 2010)

We have been married more than 10 years and she has cheated on me twice now. We have a beautiful 1 year old. I do not know what to do anymore...I want to try to make it work, but I am not sure I will ever be able to get over it. I am thinking if it happened twice, surely it will happen again! Not sure if I can trust her again. Sadly I do not have many friends that I can talk to about this, so most of it is kept inside. Anyone have any thoughts/advice?


----------



## Toby T (Dec 1, 2010)

I'm so sorry to hear about this, sorta. I think the question to what you can do, is tied to why has she decided to have an affair(s)?

Have you talked to her about why? Frequently it is to replace something lacking at home, like communication, caring, financial or emotional support. Sometimes it is an "exit affair", an excuse to leave. Seldom is it as simple as just for sex. 

You need to determine the cause before you formulate a plan of action.


----------



## sortaskinny (Dec 3, 2010)

Hi, thanks for the replies. Sorry to hear about that RWB, so what did you do? She did tell me about the first one. She definitively does crave the attention and probably something new and secret! Perhaps I am not fulfilling that particular need, but I was trying to do so after the first one.


----------



## sortaskinny (Dec 3, 2010)

Thanks for your comment RWB,

We had a long talk about us and I thought that it went well. She told me that she will cease to speak with this other guy. Well, the knife in my back was twisted...
Afterward I thought we finally understood each other (last night), I intercepted an email to her friend. It stated the opposite of what she told me. She said she is happy to be back with [email protected]#$ and is looking forward to having him meet her family while I am deployed in Afghanistan. I totally see those points you made about the “betrayed club” happening right now!


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Know that RWB has proven the point, stop asking her questions and she will tell you no lies. I suggest you take some time and develope a plan on what you are going to do. As you have found out last night, she is not going to listen to what you say, and the only thing you have control over is what you do and the actions you deside to take in dealing with her. Develope this plan from start to finish and understand the consequence your plan will have. For me this gave me a sense of direction and took away some of the cunfusion.
The most important thing is you take the time to explore the reprocussion that will happen when you make a dicision, so do not make split second ones.


Do you want to fight for the marriage?

Do you want to leave the Marriage?

Do you want to dismiss the behavior and stay married for convinence?


----------



## cb45 (Oct 2, 2009)

sorry u have to go thru this.

u have alot of reading/study stuff to do. o/wise u dont have
too much of a chance, that is unless of course u are a 
prayer warrior.

if u dont study up, then u r almost certainly doomed in yer
marriage attempts.

shalom.........


----------



## ShootMePlz! (Oct 5, 2008)

Now any doubt you had is gone and you know she does not love you. She is just using you financially especially during your upcoming deployment. Sounds like they have plans in the works while you are away and you may come back to a empty home and bank accounts!!! Protect yourself now!!!


----------

