# Trying to hold everything together when I am falling apart



## Brandy905 (Apr 3, 2014)

Our oldest son, 24, who still lives with us, was in a traumatic accident this week. He has massive injuries, has undergone numerous surgeries with many more to come. Procedures, scans, ultrasounds, Xrays, MRI, etc, etc, etc. I am basically living at hospital, husband working then coming to hospital. We are getting calls from sons employer, workers comp and, OSHA, even at hospital. We just got an atty he is sending letters so they will stop calling. My husband and I are a mess, our other kids are taking the brunt of things. Our youngest has been having problems in school since and we are receiving emails from teachers. I have contacted his counselor at school to inform them whats going on. 
I am falling apart mentally and don't know what to do. Extended family and friends are helping but nothing seems to ease the burdens. Our main concern is the recovery of our son. Please pray for our son and family!


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Brandy... I can so relate to your post, but from a different angle. You see, I was in the same situation as your son. At the age of 23 (I am 50 now) I was in a horrific car accident. I was hospitalized for a month, had numerous surgeries, and many more to follow in the months after. My parents were there day and night for me (they had to travel from another state) and when I was released from the hospital I moved back to their state to recuperate for many more months. 

It is a heavy burden, I know. I saw the toll it took on my parents. The first few days and weeks are the worst, the unexpected trauma, the terror of worrying about your injured child, the abrupt change in "normal" life. But for now you must accept your "new" normal. Establish a schedule as much as possible -- try to take turns at the hospital. Resist the urge to be there 24/7 or you will burn out quickly. Don't skip meals, and snatch sleep whenever you can. Accept any and all offers from well-meaning friends; they truly do want to help. And you and your husband need to try to keep things as normal as possible for your other kids regarding their home/school routines. They are scared too, and they need their mom and dad. 

I wish I had better advice to offer. But I can tell you this... time marches on and 27 years later that whole nightmare is just a distant memory.

Please know that all of you are in my thoughts and prayers.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

So sorry for the pain your entire family is going through right now. I can only imagine how terrified you and your entire family are. About 30 years ago my mother was in a terrible car accident with a drunk driver. She was in the hospital for three months, and uable to walk for more than a year. Surgeries, tests, rehab........

You are doing all you can do. Happy is absolutely correct, try to maintain some kind of schedule. You will do no one in the family any good if you collapse from exhaustion. Force yourself to go take a walk-outside if the weather permits. Right now everything seems critical, but this is a long haul recovery. Trust in your MDs. And vent away.


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## vgasca82 (Oct 25, 2015)

I can relate. I feel like everything that can go wrong with my life is. My thoughts go out to u and your family.


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## Brandy905 (Apr 3, 2014)

Here I am 3 weeks later and he is still in the hospital having a few surgeries a week. I am working part time on days when he doesn't have a surgery. I have a hard time focusing at work and really on almost anything. I am burning food when I do cook and simple things that I used to do with my eyes closed take forever to accomplish. We are starting to look at rehabs for him to go to when he gets out of the hospital. We wanted him to come home, but it doesn't look like that will be a possibility. Please keep our family in your prayers.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Brandy905 said:


> Here I am 3 weeks later and he is still in the hospital having a few surgeries a week. I am working part time on days when he doesn't have a surgery. I have a hard time focusing at work and really on almost anything. I am burning food when I do cook and simple things that I used to do with my eyes closed take forever to accomplish. We are starting to look at rehabs for him to go to when he gets out of the hospital. We wanted him to come home, but it doesn't look like that will be a possibility. Please keep our family in your prayers.


*Prayers continue to flow your way, Sweetheart, not only for your sons health and recovery, but for your entire family! May our Heavenly Father keep you all under his guideful watch!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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