# Stuck In Limbo



## Isuck (Jul 1, 2012)

I'm on day 12 of my seperation and I hate it. My wife does not want to work on us and spends her time with her counselor talking about who I'm talking to instead of working on herself. She's accused me to trying to "get to" her friends first. She's told one of my kids that "this could be forever" when my kid asked how long she was going to stay seperated from me.

I got fed up a couple days ago as her father keeps telling me to give up and that there's absolutely no hope of reconciliation. I told this to my wife, (probably soon to be ex), and she said she doesn't know where he got that. (I'm not a moron I know he got it from HER). So I asked her directly if she was just putting in her 12 months before filing and if she didn't want to upset me further by telling me now. She said that wasn't the case, but I don't believe her anymore. Then I asked if she was done for good with me and she said no.

She won't give me any hope, but won't let me go either. It's the worst feeling. I feel like I'm stuck in an endless loop of the same emotions. She has full control and knows it. When I asked her what I was supposed to do during this time, her response was "I don't know". Great.

I'm going to counseling and he says to back off and give her space now, let her come around if she is going to. I'm a guy though, I don't like sitting there with my thumb up my butt waiting. Guess I have no choice. 

Being stuck in limbo sucks and I don't think I'll be out anytime soon.


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## ScottH454 (Jun 3, 2012)

Yes it sucks an you can expect to be there for awhile. Twelve days in you are gonna have a long road ahead. There's people here with limbo stories of over a year. So maybe knowing that can help with being anxious for a resolution.
At day twelve I was trying to figure out how to eat something an was drinking liquid meal replacement drinks.
I can offer any advice on your situation as I'm still dealing with mine. All I have learned is you do have to give them space so they can get a feel for life without you. If she thinks your trying to cheat then just watch your step not to give her any fuel for that fire. Use this free time to do the things she's never let you do, an go read some books on marriage an relationships. See if you can find out what would give her the idea you were trying to mess around.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## aandksdad (Jul 8, 2012)

It sounds cliche but work on you and dont worry about the past, future or the STBX because she probably isnt worried about you. I am almost 2 months in and the first couple of weeks were the hardest but then I started just looking at the things in the present and things seem to be getting better. I still find myself crying some.

I know it hurts, but it does get better a little at a time. Hope this helps.


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## Isuck (Jul 1, 2012)

Yeah I've been working on myself big time, but I've still got those lonely days when she has the kids and I hate those. I understand that this is about her messed up head and no matter what I do or say, it's not going to change her mind. I know everyone has or is going through this but it's so hard to know that the one person you thought would be there forever is gone AND they want nothing to do with you anymore.

My counselor suggested backing off now and just letting her be alone to see if she misses me. I'm trying but it's tough.

Good part is I'm down 53 lbs now and have been working out 6 days a week. I'm going to drop 100 lbs as my goal. 47 little ones to go.

I just wish someone would invent the "anti walk away wife" pill.


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## Isuck (Jul 1, 2012)

Today's our 13th anniversary.

What a ****ty day.


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