# HELP!! trying to mind f#ck him to bring him back home



## ilyers2002 (Dec 19, 2012)

Long story....ill try to cut it short. 

(no grammer police pls, its 445am here and i could give a crap about my grammer, althought its usually on point.)

Married almost 12 years. Hes cheated a few times before, i assumed we were on the right track to rebuilding our marriage until i had dday on the 4th of july.

We might have been able to work things out...except I went absolutley bat **** crazy afterwards.
He moved out and "fell in love" with her, but continued to sleep with me.
Last friday, I cornered him with her and told him that HE was going to tell her the truth, or I was, and then I left.
I figured he was just going to spin that one off with her and I got really really drunk that night and went WAYYYY WAY too far with my mean texts.
Well, apparently he DID tell her (so Ive been told, and SORT OF believe...?) 
But the crazy pshycotic texts I sent him that night drove him even further away and now he pretty much hates me. 
(probably cuz I just ended his blissfull affair too....well, for the meantime anyway...who knows? they work together. I'm as blind as some of you with how this will actually all unfold)
Anyway, I also said some (alot) of mean **** about his family and now I have been 100% outcasted from them and in their culture, pride is a biggie. 
I'd be blown away if I were ever accepted back into that family....
But now I want him home!! That was always my goal. I didnt have advice and screwed up probably all prior opportunities before, so now that I'm sorta sure they're over (for now) I'm trying to entice him back home, but since he is SUUUPPPEEERRRR pissed... I want to know which avenues to follow...?
I cut my hair & colored it, I look totally different (in a great way) and he hasnt seen me yet...I'm playing the "im sooo so sorry card" and the "tail between my legs" crap...I bought him a new expensive item that hes been REALLY REALLY wanting for sometime, and I've stepped up my game in all other areas. 
(yea, I'm mind-blanking him...so what..? I want him home, and when/if he comes home, I will do better than before--AND YES, I did do things that made him unhappy. I had major attitude and wasnt the best housewife, so he's not entirely to blame for stepping out. Who cares.)
Anyways, I need advice on how to slowly entice him home, with him being PISSED at me, his family in his ear to leave, his "heart broken" over his affair ending...and all the other **** in play that he wasnt happy with me about in the first place....including my "psychotic episodes"
Any advice??
He's a stubborn one, but also easily manipulated (I'm not trying to manipulate my husband either...I just want our family back and when I have him home, it WILL be better...)
And he's also a softie sometimes...Classic Pisces. 
Do you guys have any advice??? PLEASE?!?!?


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## hibiscus (Jul 30, 2012)

So he has cheated on you three times ( am I correct?) and you STILL want him back??

Did he show any remorse at any time when he cheated or did he tell you it was all your fault?

If he never has shown remorse then he will cheat on you again. You are wasting your time trying to lure him back. 

Cant you see what a mess your marriage is?


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## Princess Puffin'stuff (Mar 8, 2013)

Let me get this straight: your husband has affairs and you want advice on how to play games with him so that he will come back to you?

Get some professional help. This is insanity.


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## MambaZee (Aug 6, 2013)

I get that 12 years is a lot of time invested but WHY do you want him back? Do you really think he won't cheat again? If not, why wouldn't he? 

At this point, since he's pissed (after HIS cheating), I say leave him alone. If he wants to eventually come around, he will, I guess, but I can't see why you'd want him to.


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

Spend some time seperated and work on yourself. He is 100% to blame for his affair. You have a seperate issue. You can't say you have your "tial between your legs" and call it crap. That means it's just an act. You are denying how you feel to try and suck him back into a relationship with you. If you can't have a relationship based on honest sharing of how you feel, then you should not be in a relationship with him.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

ilyers2002 said:


> absolutley bat **** crazy


That sums it up for both of you.


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## MovingAhead (Dec 27, 2012)

I am sorry you are here. I would say that you have some co-dependency issues. You should NOT allow someone/anyone to treat you the way the person you are married to treats you. 

He is not a husband. He doesn't deserve that title. He doesn't care for his home. He cares about himself and that is all. You cannot make him love you and in fact I think you need to realize that he probably cannot.

You are a bit hysterical now because you are losing something. I think this would be like losing a tumor. Cut the tumor out of your life. You may have grown attached and used to it but it's a tumor.


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

Seek counseling for yourself and read up on the 180.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

Princess Puffin'stuff said:


> Let me get this straight: your husband has affairs and you want advice on how to play games with him so that he will come back to you?
> 
> Get some professional help. This is insanity.


:iagree:

What is wrong with your self respect and self worth?


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

You need to quit playing games and forget about him. Work on you.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Your grammar is the very LEAST of your problems. My advice is to seek professional help for yourself.


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## calmwinds (Dec 10, 2012)

Manipulation never builds a strong foundation for anything.


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