# Harassment after restraining order



## Readytogo (Jul 11, 2012)

I've left a controlling and abusive 26 marriage 6 months ago. A lot has occurred since then. I've posted past threads about the split up. I'm very happy and a different person since I left. 

After numerous threats, via email, phone and text I got a restraining order. That's done. He can not contact me.
BUT....he is using my adult kids to relay many many messages.
Regarding, money usually.

He has been looking for a new replacement wife online. I learned through the kids that one of his potential new mates found out there was a restraining order and has put a hold on their relationship. (not my problem, his actions caused the order)
Now that his life is getting messed up because I put the truth on the order, he's taking it out on me via the kids.
He's telling lies to his family and turned his mother against me and my family. Also continues to try to pit my kids against me.

During Thanksgiving While I was traveling out of state and got snowed in, he kicked our son out and gave him 24 hours to move into my apartment. I was okay with that. BUT it would of been nice to be more prepared since my place is so small. I later found out he kicked him out because he wanted a girlfriend to move in....ok....SOOOO the girlfriend backed out because of the restraining order, and the EX wants our son to move back in with him ..now that the woman back out...

My son is being ping ponged around to meet the needs of his father! It ticks me off.

He messed with my Christmas day with the kids. His mom wasn't going to have Christmas. Then she said she would on Christmas EVE. Then it got switched to Christmas DAY and then my ex slept all day and wouldnt be over his moms until after 4:00 - soooo the kids switched their times around and missed a big dinner I cooked just for them. So they could see their dad. Me and my step mom ate all by ourselves. I worked so hard and they felt their dad would giving them heck if they didnt show up.

I just want this to end, he is purposly texting the kids Christmas night at 11:00 at night telling them to tell me things. And wants things done his way - he still wants control any way he can manage.

He texted the kids a picture of a lawyers business card and told them, "I'm going to sue your mother for false allegations." 

He had his chance to show up in court to fight the restraining order. He didn't show up. He had all the documents. He's never going to leave me alone. 

Has anyone had someone so obsessed on ruining you? And continues to harass through other means that wont legally get him in trouble? 

Can I still somehow report him harassing me? via the kids?

He actually asked one of my kids to call his potential new girlfriend and explain that hes a good guy and to not believe my restraining order. 

And now my mother in law that once was trying to "stay out of it and stay neutral has blocked me on facebook and my kids felt very awkward going to her house for Christmas.

We have my sons wedding we all have to be at in May - I hope this all calms down before my sons big day.

My ex is the type that will turn the day into a day about him. Instead of our sons special day. 

Sorry this is so long.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

He is harrassing you and most likely violating the court order. Most restraining orders spell out that no contact means he cant contact your friends, family, coworkers etc. 

Him discussing you or your relationship can be perceived as trying to maninipulate, still control a situation thus causing you emotional stress...harassing you.

No contact means just that and really he should only be attempting to contact you to discuss the childrens care or needs thru his lawyer to your lawyer or thru a court appointed person.


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## looking for clarity (Aug 12, 2013)

I think you have to detach and laugh at his pathetic efforts to control you. Your children know the truth about him. You need to not give him so much power.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

looking for clarity said:


> I think you have to detach and laugh at his pathetic efforts to control you. Your children know the truth about him. You need to not give him so much power.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


This. At this point the only power he has is that which you give him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

"he is texting the kids Christmas night at 11:00 at night telling them to tell me things." 

This would violate every restraining order I've seen in my state. Isn't he enjoined from contacting you, directly or indirectly? That would be indirect contact and it was foolish of him to leave a text message trail of it.


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## Readytogo (Jul 11, 2012)

My one son that's being ping ponged around has mental health / learning disabilities. He mentioned to me that he thought his dad already knew where I lived. I said "I hope not, how would he know". 
well, after my car has had some damage done to it, I have been suspicious of who would be damaging my car.

I just picked up my middle sons phone and read his text messages. He sent a text to his father with my address.

I've been in tears all this morning. The damage is done. I dont think I want to disclose to my son I looked through his phone. But another mad part of me wants to confront him.

I know that my ex is a manipulator. And used our son to stay here to find my address. Now he wants him to move back with him on Sunday. I can't believe it. I want to forgive my son because he's naive. He's 24 but the mind of a teen. I'm so mixed. Dang him. Now I need to go buy pepper spray. I have to worry every time I take my dog out for a walk. All morning I keep looking out my window now. This really sucks!


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