# What's the deal???



## Jaymmee (Sep 9, 2010)

Ok guys I need your help! Ok, so we've been together 2 years now, going on 3. In the begining, he used to want me so much. Used to whisper in my ears that he wanted me. Now, sex is 4-5 weeks appart. If I ask him he says I'm a nympho?! On top of that, all he ever does is say I want other guys. I'm not allowed to look around at my surroundings because he get's so insecure. I'm not allowed to wear tank tops! He says their too revealing and if I wear them I have no respect for him! I live in 110 deg weather in the summer, I grew up on tank tops. I can't even go to the store without him or one of the kids. I'm a prisoner. I'm a nurse, and go to patient's homes, and he accuses me of god knows what with my sick elderly patients! I don't get it, he says hey if you want some other dude, that's on you. I've never cheated ever in my life, nor have I ever wanted to! So why does he do this to me? He doesn't show love or affection. He doesn't say I love you to me, just love you. And when it's time for bed, he gets in and turns the other way. I tell him that he doesn't love me anymore, and he says if he didn't he wouldn't be here anymore. 

I found an email from his sent items to a girl on craigslist personals. it talks about sexual activity with her. He is denying ever writing it, and says someone got in to his email and sent it. I don't think so, not that type of email. 

So guys I would love your input!
Thank you!


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

Sounds to me like he’s still connected to you but trying to disconnect. Comments about tank tops is connected to you, back to you in bed is disconnecting.

Suggest dropping the tank tops. Tell him you’re doing it for him. See how he responds.

Bob


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## Jaymmee (Sep 9, 2010)

Thank you Bob. Yeah I only wear them in the home, and yes I can only wear them with the blinds closed. If not, I'm in trouble. I have tried everything to prove to him I'm faithful. I've gained weight, I can't even wear make up or perfume. I do so many things to appear ugly so men won't look at me. But it's still not enough. My hair goes past my rear, and he wants that gone too. He says it's attracts men. I'm really at a loss. I used to tell myself that he just really loves me so much that he's so affraid to loose me. But now I am really getting concerned.


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## 4sure (Aug 8, 2010)

I used to be married to a guy like him, insanely jealous. I don't know why. I only know it will get worse for you. Maybe abusive. I left him when he started to physically abuse me. There is no answer. If you do 100 things that he wants he will find one you didn't do and you will pay for it. Nothing you do will ever be enough for this guy, and everything will be all your fault.
He has to get help. If he isn't willing to get help then you can:
Leave him, or
Take the abuse and be miserable.
Some people have messed up thinking. Sometimes you have to save yourself, and that may mean getting out.

I hope you find the strength to do what is best for you, and peace to know it was/is for the best.


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## taylor78 (Sep 4, 2010)

AFEH said:


> Sounds to me like he’s still connected to you but trying to disconnect. Comments about tank tops is connected to you, back to you in bed is disconnecting.
> 
> Suggest dropping the tank tops. Tell him you’re doing it for him. See how he responds.
> 
> Bob


:iagree:
I agree with Bob. It looks like he still wants you but at the same time, he's trying to disconnect with you. Plus, he's really jealous.
You should start getting disconnected too. Judging by your past sex life, it looks like your partner has been in contact with that other girl for quite some time.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I'm guessing he's having either PA or EA. You've got an email as evidence of this and why would someone be motivated to hack into his email to chat up some other woman? We all have to justify to ourselves anything we do, so if he's cheating on you, he has to justify that by finding some fault with you. That might explain his sudden accusations and critical comments. Didn't you wear the same sort of clothes back when things were fine? We often hate in others what we see in ourselves. He looks and lusts, therefore imagines you do, too. He cheats, so he suspects you do, too. If he's always been suspicious, that might just be the way he is, but if this controlling behavior and criticism is a departure from his normal behavior and you have given him no reason to be suspicious, that would be very interesting.


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## friendly (Sep 21, 2010)

Dump him! When a guy anyhow accused you have other men, usually he's the one fooling around.


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## Anonny123 (Aug 11, 2010)

I agree friendly - sounds like the acting out of a guilty conscious!


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