# Need to vent



## Confused34 (Apr 20, 2012)

I have been married for 20 years and have two children. Last Friday night I was in the living room and when I went to the bedroom I noticed that my wife had fallen asleep listening to music on her phone. I turned off the music on her phone and noticed a text message from Tim, I opened the message and I was devastated, my heart sunk into my stomach and I felt like vomiting. They were calling each other babe and she said that she was touching herself and asked him if he would like to join and they were also speaking about running at the park in the mornings. I also read an email where he was calling her beautiful and was asking her what time she was getting off work and that he was stopping at the store to pick up food. I woke her after reading the message and confronted her, she said that she was sorry and that he was gay and they were just friends. I left the house in a rage and ruturned awhile later. (I found out a few days later that as soon as I left the house she sent him a text.) When I returned she said that nothing sexual was going on and that she has never been to his house, she said that they meet up at the park to run and that he is her gay friend. I asked her how many other messages there were and she said that they didn't communicate that often. I went online and got her phone and text records a few days later and found out that they were calling each other multiple times a day and texting at each other as late as 3 in the morning. While I was sleeping! She was texting him while we were on vacation and she would call him on the weekends when we were together. She said that there were other sex messages but she would not be specific. 

She lied about the number of calls and messages
She texted the guy when I left the house in a rage
She went running with this guy without my knowledge
She was sexting with him

I texted him and asked him what was going on and he said nothing was going on and that he was gay. This was after my wife had contacted him.

I told her that I have software that can undelete all text messages on her IPhone and that I wanted to read all of the old messages. She was angry by this request and said that if I do that she would leave. I told her that if they were only friends that she should have nothing to hide. She said that she didn't want to hurt me furthur by reading the other messages.
She said that she contacted him and told him that they could no longer be friends. She says that she is sorry and that it will never happen again.

I can't trust her anymore, I want to know what was on those messages and what was on the message that she sent him when I left the house. I love her but I am sad, angry, depressed and I feel betrayed.

She would like us to put this in the past but I can't rest without knowing more.


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

She is so lying and you know it. She would rather leave than have you read the message since they will hurt you? This tells you all you need to know. If he is gay that why is she pleasing herself thinking of him and asking him to join her. You would be an absolute fool to believe this.

Get the message and you will probably see that this affair has already gone physical. She has no respect for you or your marriage. If you do not respect yourself then who will?

By the way if the roles were reversed and she found out that you were masturbating to your lesbian friend and asking her to join you I wonder how she would be acting? She is in damage control right now.
1. Read those message and/or demand a polygraph
2. Insist on STD testing.
3. See a lawyer to understand your options.
She is again in damage control and playing you for a fool. No consequences to her actions equals no motivation to change. Good luck.


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## ParachuteOn (Apr 20, 2012)

Don't believe it. She is betraying your marriage. She will do anything to keep you from seeing those messages because she knows they are divorce-worthy. 

Prepare yourself if you do it. Its gonna hurt like all get out. My H destroyed the hardware to keep me from finding out.

Trust me, they KNOW they are wrong.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Settle down, you confronted early but I've been there and its inpossible not to.

With that said,let me remind you that this is an addiction and once you settle down things will pick up and you may be able to get more answers. She will even take it deeper underground and start using other forms to communicate other then the one you caught her with.

For now I suggest you back off and quitly investigate OM. In doing this you will beable to confirm his sexuality, second if he's married or has a boy/girl friend then you can expose this to them.

Once you you get the ball rolling ....hell even hire a PI if you can afford one and get as much as you can on this guy.....you will atleast have a better idea on what your dealing with.

The main point to all of this is you need to quitely continue to investigat since you will *never* get the truth form your WW.

Once you can get some more facts then you can make better choice;s and accurate disicion that are based on fact not lies.

Don't forget to plant a VAR and GPS, and look for prepaid cell.


With patience and strength you might beable to get more answers then what you have now. 

So go stealth and give her enough rope she will reveal more, it will just take a few days.

I hope I'm wrong and she starts to show you some true remorse, but again this is very addictive behavior. Most likely she will refuse to stop all contact with her boyfriend.

The fact remains, until all contact stops with OM you are in a impossible situation and you must contiue to validate her recommitment and that there is infact no more contact...then and only then can *she* begian to fix this.


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

Confused,

Your wife is full of crap. Listen to The Guy.

Also take her iphone and sync it to your pc.

Go to google and search for how to extract text messages.

You will get instructions on what files you need to extract for pc or mac.

You can then sort through all of her texts and read them.

You could trying emailing Shamwow. He used this method to get the truth about his WW's actions.

Good Luck and Keep posting.

HM64


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

You can immediately go to best buy and get a VAR to velcro under her car seat. One poster bought an Olympus model for $99 and said it works great. 

Keylogger for the computer. 

Keep checking phone/text records but it is likely she will use a burner/pay as you go phone.

As intense as this is they have not stopped , maybe a 1 out of 10 chance she dumped him.

What do you know about him? Put his number in spokeo.com, if nothing comes up it is a burner phone.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

You know how to extract the messages right? Tell her that you need to know the complete truth. If she cannot do that, she can leave. Don't back down on that. She has already proven herself to be a liar. If she regularly syncs her phone to the PC it is even easier. Take her phone away if you have to. That phone is pretty much the only chance at truth you have. You will regret it if you won't


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

Confused34 said:


> She lied about the number of calls and messages
> She texted the guy when I left the house in a rage
> She went running with this guy without my knowledge
> She was sexting with him


 You forgot two. 
She lied when she told you that he was gay. (Gay guys do not sext with women)
She lied when she told you that she never went to his house. (He ask her when she was getting off work and told her that he was getting the food.)
All cheaters lie. All cheaters trickle truth where they admit only what you can prove. This does not mean that common sense does not apply. Add in the fact that she was willing to leave you rather than let you read her messages and you know that there is more that she is not telling you.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

:iagree:


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Confussed you just got fitness tested big time and you failed, next time she makes a threat about leaving let her and pack all her crap up.

She now has your number and knows you you are going to tolorate her crap rather then let her go.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

the guy said:


> Confussed you just got fitness tested big time and you failed, next time she makes a threat about leaving let her and pack all her crap up.
> 
> She now has your number and knows you you are going to tolorate her crap rather then let her go.


Yes but thats easily remedied the next times she pulls that line. He should jump up and get some garbage bags


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## Shamwow (Aug 15, 2011)

Look for the backup file on the PC she syncs with before you resync. Unless she backs up to a separate drive it could copy over the previous backup log, and you may lose the old/deleted texts. You have to read them (unless she is savvy and already deleted the backup log file). They will tell you what you need to know. Either he is gay and she's been throwing fantasy in his direction for fun - which is still WRONG and problematic to your marriage...or they're in an affair and the gay story is a coverup they agreed upon prior to being found out (they both said it right away...either because it's true or because they planned that as a contingency).

On a PC: ~/Library/Application Support/MobileSync/Backup

File to look for is: "3d0d7e5fb2ce288813306e4d4636395e047a3d28"

Copy to a separate place and then open it in Textpad (you can download it online for free)

Good luck man...she's probably lying. Don't tell her you actually are looking anymore. Until you find more.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

What other evidence do you need?

You're married 20 years, you caught her sexting another man, and your wife of 20 years basically told you to MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. She won't show you what's in the text messages (you know the reason is that the texts will have info regarding them meeting up for sex, probably at his house).

She told you she was never at his house. If he was just her gay friend, why wouldn't she go to his house? There would be nothing wrong with it - and nothing wrong with her telling you about it.

If he were just her gay friend, she would have told you more about him and what type of relationship they have.

Does she have now, or has she ever had, another friend that she communicated so frequently with at all hours of the day and night while she was involved in activities with you and the kids?

You can gather more evidence if you want, but why bother? You already have way more than enough evidence. Tell your wife, "Wife, we've been married 20 years, had two kids together, shared life's ups and downs together, and you're telling me a story a 4-year-old wouldn't believe. You're cheating on me and you can't even tell me a good lie. After all we've been through, you can't at least just be honest with me. You've got 10 minutes to come clean or I'm filing for divorce. I will tell both our families all of the facts regarding the content of the texts and number and frequency of texts that we already know about, and let them come up with their own conclusions as to why we're getting divorced. Do you honestly believe anyone we know is going to believe that he is just your gay friend?"

You do not need any more evidence. 20 years. 2 kids. I understand the commitment you have to your family. You love your kids. You love your wife. Does she love you? If she did, would she continue to lie to you and let you go days and days in the pain you're in. And all you get from her is that she'd like to put this in the past.

Put an end to this pain now. Tell her to come clean or it's divorce.


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## Confused34 (Apr 20, 2012)

Thanks everyone for the advise.

I downloaded the data from her phone and I did not expect to find what I did. Not only was she having sex with one guy from work she was also having sex with a second guy from work. Just when I thought things could not be worse. At least I know the truth now and I can move on with my life. This really sucks.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Wow. Worst case scenario. Atleast you can move on and make proper decisions now that you know the complete truth. 

How is she reacting to the whole thing?


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## Confused34 (Apr 20, 2012)

She says that she is sorry and that she has ended her relationships. She would like to seek professional help and try to work things out. I am trying to concentrate on the kids.


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

Why she didnt seek for professional help when she was fuc*king on your back? why she wanted to do that now? she is in damage controll and manipulating you to stay in the marriage. She is nothing else but a bunch of lies and POS.
Throw the D papers on her face and walk away with your head held high.

Did you exposed her A to others and OMW?


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

First thing you do is to find if these 2 men are married or in relationships and expose them. No, this is not for revenge. You would have informed the HR if it was for revenge.


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## Humble Pie (Feb 28, 2012)

Confused34 said:


> Thanks everyone for the advise.
> 
> I downloaded the data from her phone and I did not expect to find what I did. Not only was she having sex with one guy from work she was also having sex with a second guy from work. Just when I thought things could not be worse. At least I know the truth now and I can move on with my life. This really sucks.


Wow, it goes from her sexting a "gay man", after you have caught her in the past having sex with multiple co-workers? Man, sorry to hear about this, your wife is a serial cheater and compulsive liar. 

Were there no consequences for her previous actions? Seems like she has little to none respect for you. How do you plan on changing that, cause after she informed you she would leave, you back down again. If you don't change she will continue these actions as you are nothing but a enabler for her distructive behaviors. She definately needs IC, and I would suggest you do to.


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## Confused34 (Apr 20, 2012)

Humble Pie said:


> Wow, it goes from her sexting a "gay man", after you have caught her in the past having sex with multiple co-workers? Man, sorry to hear about this, your wife is a serial cheater and compulsive liar.
> 
> Were there no consequences for her previous actions? Seems like she has little to none respect for you. How do you plan on changing that, cause after she informed you she would leave, you back down again. If you don't change she will continue these actions as you are nothing but a enabler for her distructive behaviors. She definately needs IC, and I would suggest you do to.


The "Gay guy" was one of her co-workers that she was having sex with, he no longer works for the company. The other guy still works with her and used to be her supervisor. This is the first two guys that I know about and it took me a few days to find all of the clues.


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## Confused34 (Apr 20, 2012)

Both are single and are friends with each other. They were passing my wife around the office. I want to go to her office tomorrow and confront the guy that still works there but I'm sure I will get my wife fired and she will need her job in order to take care of my kids.



warlock07 said:


> First thing you do is to find if these 2 men are married or in relationships and expose them. No, this is not for revenge. You would have informed the HR if it was for revenge.


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## Confused34 (Apr 20, 2012)

I told her entire family and they are furious that she ruined my life and the kids.



Kallan Pavithran said:


> Why she didnt seek for professional help when she was fuc*king on your back? why she wanted to do that now? she is in damage controll and manipulating you to stay in the marriage. She is nothing else but a bunch of lies and POS.
> Throw the D papers on her face and walk away with your head held high.
> 
> Did you exposed her A to others and OMW?


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## Humble Pie (Feb 28, 2012)

Confused34 said:


> Both are single and are friends with each other. They were passing my wife around the office. I want to go to her office tomorrow and confront the guy that still works there but I'm sure I will get my wife fired and she will need her job in order to take care of my kids.


No point in confronting the men and jeopordizing your wife's job. They are both single, the blame falls squarely on your wife, not them. What are your wife's consequences?? this is something you avoid in this discussion.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

make an action plan. Decide what you are going to do next. Decide if this marriage is worth saving


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

Wow. Sorry man. You need divorce papers. Either to actually divorce her and move on, or to show her in black and white that if she doesn't straighten up and pull her head out of her ass you will divorce her. You don't have to go through with it if you decide to reconcile. 

Even if you're unsure what you want to do go see an attorney to learn what your options really are. Information is power. Good luck to you.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Lord I can't believe this. I didn't think this was going to be this bad. What is she saying/doing? She has to know this has destroyed her family. Does she care?

Get yourself to the doctor for some meds and a lawyer. Give yourself some time off and take care of yourself. 

Good luck and prayers for your family


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

Confused34 said:


> Thanks everyone for the advise.
> 
> I downloaded the data from her phone and I did not expect to find what I did. Not only was she having sex with one guy from work she was also having sex with a second guy from work. Just when I thought things could not be worse. At least I know the truth now and I can move on with my life. This really sucks.


Confused34, I am so very sorry. I know this has knocked you flat with shock.

You need to get tested for STDs, like yesterday. A dr. as chap says can help with antidepressants, you will need them because this is a long-haul situation no matter which path you take.

Serial, casual cheating for a woman is serious. Most women (studies show) need to feel in love with a man to give him sex. They decouple from their spouse and bond with a new man. The fact that it was with more than one man indicates that she does have some major problems. 

Can you share with us--BEFORE you found out about this--was she super self-confident and put you down? Did she think the world revolves around her? Or was she needy and had self-esteem issues? Either way, brace yourself for someone who is broken and may not be able to be fixed. She's got a very long road before she can prove herself to be worthy of you once again, be very careful, she may only be sorry she got caught.


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

Sorry for the pain you are going through. You are doing the right thing. She was playing the cougar or Milf. They use to call it being a s1ut. You're right not to expose her at work, as she will need to provide for the children. Outing her to her family is her just reward for her treachery. As painful as it is, stay strong. She will throw everything at you. Like sex, and "I need counseling". Tell her the only counseling that she is gonna need is on how to be a single mother, and how to restore her reputation (not gonna happen). In closing be sure to remind her that she has thrown away a loving husband and family, to play the office skank. Remind her that sex isn't love, and that she gave up everything decent in her life for a few 10 second orgasms.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

I would give the other men the option of quiting or outing them at their work, familes, and putting them on cheaterville.com, where they will turn up anytime their name is googled.

Just don't let'em all walk.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Good move in telling her family. Their knowing may help her into truly seeking counseling to address and resolve her issues. Divorced or not, she is still the mother of your children and for their sake, she needs to get help ASAP.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

He's gay? Yeah right. That's why she's inviting him to watch her master bate and also sexting him. If she didn't cheat on you with him physically, I would be very surprised.

Is he married? If so, you need to tell his wife (w/o your wife knowing beforehand). 

Check it out--it's not up to her--the ball is in your court. So when she threatens she is going to leave you tell her "That is your choice but I can tell you I will not be played in my own marriage. You cheated and you know it. I do not want to be with someone who isn't committed to me."


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

1. Get tested for STD's
2. Get the best lawyer you can find.
Your wife is a real piece of work getting passed around at her office. There is no way you could ever feel proud and special that she is your wife. She is only sorry that she got caught. She considered you a fool and clearly had no respect for you. If you do not respect yourself then who will?


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> He's gay? Yeah right. That's why she's inviting him to watch her master bate and also sexting him. If she didn't cheat on you with him physically, I would be very surprised.
> 
> Is he married? If so, you need to tell his wife (w/o your wife knowing beforehand).
> 
> Check it out--it's not up to her--the ball is in your court. So when she threatens she is going to leave you tell her "That is your choice but I can tell you I will not be played in my own marriage. You cheated and you know it. I do not want to be with someone who isn't committed to me."


Did you not read his recent posts? He found she was cheating with 2 guys including the gay one. he exposed her to the family


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

C34

Breathe. Exhale. Breathe. Exhale.

Now you know the truth and you probably feel you do not even know the woman You are married too. That lying cheating wayward wife has really blindsided you.

All I can tell you is do not make any decisions in haste or while you are emotional.

Do not go to HR because if you two do D she will need her job. I totally agree with you on this.

Make sure you have an attorney that protects you and your kids. Now that your wife has admitted multiple sex partners there is a good chance there are more than these two.

Go get tested for stds and make her get tested too. No sex with her period until you know what path you are taking with her.

Get control of the money. Good job outing her actions to her family.

Take care of you for your children's sake as well as your own.

Good Luck and keep posting. I am sorry you have found the horrible truth but at least you now know and can deal with the future being informed of her crappy behavior.

HM64
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Confused34 (Apr 20, 2012)

I sent messages to both men on Facebook and told them how they ruined my marriage. My wife was upset with this and asked me if I sent the message to both men at the same time and I was puzzled at why she was asking this and then it dawned on me that even though the men know each other they have no idea that the other is having sex with her. So I sent another message to each of them letting them know that she is having sex with the other. She was so embarrassed that she wanted to immediately text them to apolagize. This tells me that she really has not ended anything. I told her that I would go to a therapist (hopefully today) for the sake of the kids but we are really too far gone to salvage anything.



Humble Pie said:


> No point in confronting the men and jeopordizing your wife's job. They are both single, the blame falls squarely on your wife, not them. What are your wife's consequences?? this is something you avoid in this discussion.


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## Confused34 (Apr 20, 2012)

She says that she wants to salvage the marriage and that she has cut off all contact with them. I don't believe anything she says at this point. 




chapparal said:


> Lord I can't believe this. I didn't think this was going to be this bad. What is she saying/doing? She has to know this has destroyed her family. Does she care?
> 
> Get yourself to the doctor for some meds and a lawyer. Give yourself some time off and take care of yourself.
> 
> Good luck and prayers for your family


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

C34
Good for you. They both needed to know. No time like the present to kill two birds with one stone.

I hope you reminded them to get tested for std's.

And you are right that if your wife wanted to text them apologies that shows you where head is right now and her response shows her head is squarely up her butt.

Go see that attorney and lock up the funds. 

Sorry you are going through this. Stay tough on her and clean house.

HM64
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Confused34 said:


> Both are single and are friends with each other. They were passing my wife around the office. I want to go to her office tomorrow and confront the guy that still works there but I'm sure I will get my wife fired and she will need her job in order to take care of my kids.


well you do realize that she has to quit her job if you expect to R?

there's no way you can have R while she can have contact without you knowing it


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

Confused34 said:


> She says that she wants to salvage the marriage and that she has cut off all contact with them. I don't believe anything she says at this point.


But her first reaction was to apologize to them? I'm glad you were able to see that knee-jerk reaction live and in person.


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

Confused34 said:


> She was so embarrassed that she wanted to immediately text them to apolagize.


Just out of curiosity is she embarrassed about the way she has treated you? Has she apologized to you, or is she more concerned about the OM?


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

She wants to salvage her life style. Get tested for STD's. Get the best lawyer. If the roles were reversed she would be talking to a lawyer already. What a piece of work she is.


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## Confused34 (Apr 20, 2012)

She is an emotional roller coaster! She would get angry then depressed then everything would be great. Over the years I just accepted this as normal as did the kids. I think she is defiantly sorry that she got caught. She lost me, my son (i told him everything, he is 19) and her family. My 13 year old daughter is the only one that doesn't know the truth.



iheartlife said:


> Confused34, I am so very sorry. I know this has knocked you flat with shock.
> 
> You need to get tested for STDs, like yesterday. A dr. as chap says can help with antidepressants, you will need them because this is a long-haul situation no matter which path you take.
> 
> ...


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## TBT (Dec 20, 2011)

WTF,she wanted to text them to apologize? She shows no remorse for what she's done to you by adding insult to injury.Must show you where you and your M rank in her priorities.Don't let her sway you,as she needs to suffer some consequences if you want to take control of the situation.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

all signs point to her not doing the work for R, plus add the fact she's a serial cheater. You're best off filing imo


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Yet another example of it doesn't matter how old you are, how long you've been married, how old the children are: Some people are never too old to cheat. Having PAs with two guys at the same time? 

She's nowhere near ready for R....IF that's what you want. I'm not seeing anything that indicates remorse, only guilt for getting caught. All it looks like she wants to do is rugsweep. Heck, she's still trying to protect both OM.


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

Is she bi-polar? Wide emotional mood swings aren't normal--as even your kids know. That wouldn't be an excuse, of course. There are other serious mental health issues she may have, if you read enough threads you'll see this with long term, serial cheaters.

But her mood swings could also just be a symptom of a 'normal' person compartmentalizing and living a secret double life. She was mysteriously angry or depressed and you couldn't see the cause, and she wasn't about to tell you. Hence the roller coaster for the rest of you.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

iheartlife said:


> Is she bi-polar? Wide emotional mood swings aren't normal--as even your kids know. That wouldn't be an excuse, of course. There are other serious mental health issues she may have, if you read enough threads you'll see this with long term, serial cheaters.
> 
> But her mood swings could also just be a symptom of a 'normal' person compartmentalizing and living a secret double life. She was mysteriously angry or depressed and you couldn't see the cause, and she wasn't about to tell you. Hence the roller coaster for the rest of you.



too much chicken and egg there to speculate imo, she would need to see a professional


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> all signs point to her not doing the work for R, plus add the fact she's a serial cheater. You're best off filing imo


I would bet that this isn't the first time....only the first time that she's been caught. If she didn't show any obvious red flags this time around, it means she's an experienced serial cheater.

Jeez, 2 OM at the same time? What a *****.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Ask any woman who is a divorced mother of small children if she's tired and chances are good you'll get a dirty look right back at you. Your wife wants to continue being married because you make it easier for her to fvck around with other men. Let her feel what other women experience on a daily basis, in many cases through no fault of their own.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

morituri said:


> Ask any woman who is a divorced mother of small children if she's tired and chances are good you'll get a dirty look right back at you. Your wife wants to continue being married because you make it easier for her to fvck around with other men. Let her feel what other women experience on a daily basis, in many cases through no fault of their own.


:iagree:

Another cake eater.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

WTH? She texted the other guys to apologize? For what, f**king them?

C34, please get tested for STD's as soon as possible.


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## kenmoore14217 (Apr 8, 2010)

hey C34, sorry you're here. This one is a total looser and needs to kicked to the curb pronto. How long do you think she has been doing this? Other men besides these two? DNA for paternity? Stay strong my man.


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

Obviously the "gay" guy wasn't really gay eventhough he pretended he was. The "gay thing" was just an agreement between him and your wife . 

I hope you're not thinking twice about this marriage, are you?


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Wait a minute. What happened to trust? Are we thinking that one or more of these men is not gay?

It is ok to sext with gay men ... right? To go over to their apartments.

An office full of gay men who pass a married woman around for sex. 

You know I am thinking that they may not be gay. I know marriage is all about trust but something does not seem right here.

I think you should let her go. This is not the wife you were looking for.

Evidently your wife is attracted to gay men and for some reason they like to have sex with her.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

If you haven't already, will you expose your wife/OM to their workplace?


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

Entropy3000 said:


> Wait a minute. What happened to trust? Are we thinking that one or more of these men is not gay?
> 
> It is ok to sext with gay men ... right? To go over to their apartments.
> 
> ...


Not sure if you are joking, or serious with this post? Sorry, just trying to clarify.


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## MrQuatto (Jul 7, 2010)

keko said:


> If you haven't already, will you expose your wife/OM to their workplace?


Yes, and the one guy who was a supervisor should be reported to his HR Department. 

Q~


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## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

Damn. All her men need to take a number. Did she claim both were gay? Whoops sorry - you didn't know about number two until you cracked her text records.

She wanted to apologize to the other men - for what. F*cking them both at the same time? Cheating on them? Being sloppy and getting caught by you? Unbelievable.

I'm confused. Do you know how long this has been going on?

The only thing that is clear - you need to divorce her as soon as possible and get the cheating wh*re out of your life.


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## crossbar (Aug 25, 2011)

Confused34 said:


> She says that she is sorry and that she has ended her relationships. She would like to seek professional help and try to work things out. I am trying to concentrate on the kids.


WAIT!!! WAIT!!! I thought you wrote that she said if you read her texts, she was gonna leave? Did you pack her bags yet?


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## Confused34 (Apr 20, 2012)

He is not gay. She told me that he was gay so that I would think that they were just messing around on text message and that there was no sex. They were having plenty of sex



Entropy3000 said:


> Wait a minute. What happened to trust? Are we thinking that one or more of these men is not gay?
> 
> It is ok to sext with gay men ... right? To go over to their apartments.
> 
> ...


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## Confused34 (Apr 20, 2012)

I can't expose my wife. We have kids and she will need her job to take care of them when we divorce



keko said:


> If you haven't already, will you expose your wife/OM to their workplace?


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## Confused34 (Apr 20, 2012)

It's been going for about 9-10 months



TDSC60 said:


> Damn. All her men need to take a number. Did she claim both were gay? Whoops sorry - you didn't know about number two until you cracked her text records.
> 
> She wanted to apologize to the other men - for what. F*cking them both at the same time? Cheating on them? Being sloppy and getting caught by you? Unbelievable.
> 
> ...


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## Confused34 (Apr 20, 2012)

Not yet, but very soon



crossbar said:


> WAIT!!! WAIT!!! I thought you wrote that she said if you read her texts, she was gonna leave? Did you pack her bags yet?


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Have you contacted a divorce attorney yet?


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Confused34 said:


> He is not gay. She told me that he was gay so that I would think that they were just messing around on text message and that there was no sex. They were having plenty of sex


Let me guess...during this entire period, she wasn't giving you any but she was giving OM#1 and OM#2 all kinds of porno style sex. Always remember this rule: Affair sex is almost always unprotected sex, so she was getting creampied left and right. Get tested for STDs buddy, like yesterday.


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## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

Confused34 said:


> I can't expose my wife. We have kids and she will need her job to take care of them when we divorce


Rubbish , you won't expose because you are fearful . It is rare they lose their jobs and if she does she can get another one, a D will take into account that she can work.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Eli-Zor said:


> Rubbish , you won't expose because you are fearful . It is rare they lose their jobs and if she does she can get another one, a D will take into account that she can work.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I disagree. Good paying jobs are extremely difficult to find in today's economy and since there is no R to be had, there is no point in outing her with her employer. If she lost her job, he would have to pay her a higher amount of child support and spousal support at the same time he is going to need money to maintain his own household.

Confused34 I agree with you that her job should not be touched or threatened for your sake as well as that of your kids.


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## Confused34 (Apr 20, 2012)

I don't want the kids to suffer more than they have. She makes decent money and it would be harder on the kids and me without her income. My kids are my first priority right now.



morituri said:


> I disagree. Good paying jobs are extremely difficult to find in today's economy and since there is no R to be had, there is no point in outing her with her employer. If she lost her job, he would have to pay her a higher amount of child support and spousal support at the same time he is going to need money to maintain his own household.
> 
> Confused34 I agree with you that her job should not be touched or threatened for your sake as well as that of your kids.


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## SprucHub (Jan 13, 2012)

Do not shy away from spousal support and child support. Do not buy her bs - she'll start with (1) you weren't paying attention to me, then (2) I am so stressed out, and (3) midlife crisis and (4) depression and (5) needs to find herself and (6) things have been bad for a while. All revisionist history or pure BS that she may or may not believe. If you challenge her on it, she'll make herself believe more. Truth is, she always was or has become a bad egg.

In addition to STD tests, you may want paternity tests, or your kids might. You are their father and that won't be broken (like the severe bond that will be broken between her and them).


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

She's in shock now. Wait a while and see how she does. I expect her to break fairly soon.



Entropy: I think your sarcasm was funny. Helped lighten my load anyway. This Monday seems to particularly suck.


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## Hank567 (Apr 23, 2012)

Confused34 said:


> At least I know the truth now and I can move on with my life. This really sucks.



Ya know, I've never seen a guy so strong in his resolve to be done and get divorced from his WW. Especially since it's less than 2 weeks since D day. What's your secret?


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

I think because he is intelligent.


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

Why are you waiting, just issue her with D papers. Why you want to prolong your pain?
None will blame you for Divorcing her.
Did you exposed this to all the concerned?


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