# Pregnant & confused



## Little_foot_82 (Jun 30, 2008)

i not sure where to start this is going to be a long post I really appreciate any one who can read the whole thing. 

So here I go. I am 35 weeks pregnant from my husband of 7 years September will be 8. We've been together for 9. I found out yesterday morning he has been cheating on me with an X. I know we have had issues for a long time I know I should have done something sooner. Now I just feel F***ed. He says he loves her and isn't sure if he loves me any more (or if he ever did). He isn't ready to stop talking to her he said he wont see her but he wants to continue to talk to her until our son is born. I feel like the bad guy asking him not to see or talk to her ever again. He said he is willing to go to counseling and I want to but I feel if he doesn't love me what is the point no amount of counseling will change that. He mainly is willing to go for our unborn son. I feel if I just let him go I will always wonder if we could have worked it out. 

The thting that is hardest for me is if he felt this way he should of told me before I got pregnant. It's not like t was a surprise we had to get infertility treatments. So now my unborn son is having to deal with my emotions now and maybe not having a mom & dad together.

I care about him so much I want him to be happy and part of me is willing to let him go if that will make him happy. I have cut myself of from friends since I got married so I have no one to turn to. 

I wonder if I just let him go explore his feelings with her he may come back but I just don't know. I read a bunch of the e-mails they sent. Sad thing is alot of what he said sounds just like some of the first letters he wrote to me. She has tons of emotional baggage & 2 small boys. 

Part of me wonders if it's just the newness & excitement of it all. I guess that's what I hope it is and it would just die out.

It is so hard for me to sit & write this as I feel my unborn child move knowing his father the man I love desperately may not love me.

I don't know what else to say so there it is. Any advise is appreciated.


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## cao428 (Jun 26, 2008)

I feel so bad for you! It must be so hard having a baby and thinking those thoughts about your son. But try to stick it out and go to counseling anyway. Maybe he will change his mind when he sees you changing. Sometimes the affair and the newness, excitement of it makes them think they don't love you when deep down they do. You two have been together for a long time and now you have a deeper bond with your son..


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

Start doing for yourself. Reconnect with friends and family. Do hobbies you like. Get counciling. You need to take care of yourself and child first.


draconis


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

I'm really not sure what his problems are. Go to counseling as a couple. At this point you have nothing to lose by going to couseling...and hopefully everything to gain. Also, I'd try to reconncet with family and friends to give you support. Just remember you have a joyful event to look forward to--the birth of your son!


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

my hubby and i were already split up , when i was expecting our first. we had our ups and downs. and yes he did meet someone and slept with another, but we werent together. we got back together after our son.
but a friend who was pregnant at the same time, he had been having affairs and left her 6 weeks b 4 their son was born. i know for a fact that it was really tough, he wasnt there for the birth. 
but with family and 2 other children, she did cope. He treated her terrible but the women never stopped.
my cousin also same situation, hubby left her 6 weeks b 4 son was born and went of with her best friend( that s why i never had a best friend). she went through the birth with her mother as did my friend. he never bothered with the child and hes 15 now. 
but he turned to be a lovely boy. he knows the circumstances.
where as my friend , well the ex has his 3 kids now and again. 
yes it will be hard. 
can you leave the house and go and stay with family. 
no matter what n e way, you will go through huge emotions. 
when i was having my first, i was actually expecting to be a single mother. but i found my strength through the fact that i had always wanted a baby and my family helped me through.
its not friends that were the key in n e of these , it was family.


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## frustratedinphx (Dec 29, 2007)

You absolutely need to take care of you first. My husband and I went through a terrible time while I was pregnant with my 2nd and even up through giving birth. She is now 2 mos. old and things are improving, but I can remember toward the end of my pregnancy crying so hard from the arguments we had that it would cause terrible contractions. 

Try to do anything that will keep you calm or bring you any kind of joy (or at least take your mind off of things). If you have to leave home for a bit then do it. Absolutely reconnect with friends and family who will support and listen to you and/or make new ones. If I didn't have a few people who really looked out for me during this time, I'd have lost my mind. 

Take things one day at a time and stay healthy for the sake of your baby. Deal with all of the other stuff after he is born. Things have a way of working themselves out one way or another. Good luck!


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