# [B]Separation, 180, and now Cocaine . . .[/B]



## BIP (Apr 6, 2011)

Hi All,
I've never been in this forum, been hanging with the infidelity and separation groups, but as we peel back the layers, I feel like this MAY be where I need to go for advice!
Yesterday was our 8th session with the MC. Last week I learned yet ANOTHER secret that my H has been keeping from, ie. that he is more that a casual drug user. I have brought up his heavy drinking in therapy, and he denies that it is an issue. Now I know that he does coke as well. For me, drugs have always been a deal breaker, and I was SHOCKED to hear him admit to doing coke "maybe a couple times a month." Figuring that he's going to play it down, that probably means that he has been doing it weekly! I was SICK! I was CRYING and SHAKING, and acting like the pathetic and weak individual I have worked hard to overcome in the last several weeks. He KNOWS that drugs are a deal breaker for me, which is why he's been so good at hiding it. Now, we are ALREADY separated, so I can't kick him out. I could require him to take a piss test each week if he wants to see the kids. He'll accuse me of talking down to him, being judgmental, he'll gaslight and deflect . . . but this is an area I don't feel I can compromise. I REALLY want our marriage to work, but the longer we are apart, the more I learn, and I am beginning to ask myself "WHAT am I doing with this selfish, lying adolescent of a grown man?" Answer, of course, "I love the idiot." Help.


----------

