# More revelations leave me feeling frustrated and resentful



## TwinsDad (Jul 6, 2010)

_I originally posted this as a reply in another thread. 8yearscheating recommended I repost it into a new thread, so..._

Maybe I should have started a new thread with this, but it was 
reading this one that triggered me to write. I haven't read a post that quite hit the nail on the head for me as this one. I've been feeling the sense of not knowing everything, that a weight was still hanging over my head. 

I posted last summer after my wife confessed a short-lived PA that she had in the spring (the thread still exists if you search on my username). The fact that she confessed and said she loved me and our family gave me hope that we would work it out. It took until fall to get into counseling and start trying to deal with our issues, but we were making (albeit, slow) progress. 

Then this past winter my wife acted weird when I needed to copy a number from her cell phone to mine and I just (innocently) took her phone to look at the number. "Why don't I just write it down for you?" (you don't need to take my phone!) This aroused suspicion in me, and I checked her text messages and looked at her phone usage, things I never thought to do before. There were a bunch of texts from the same number a day or two before, "why won't you talk to me?", "I need to talk with you!", etc. and one from our neighbor where he addressed her as "Hey Sexy!" 

So I compared her text log with her contacts and found two numbers that had, by far, the most text messages to and from that were not in her contacts. At this point I had not confronted her and lived with this knowledge for weeks in agony. After all, we were going to counseling, actively trying to get things worked out, right? This couldn't be what it seemed. I finally contacted our counselor who advised that I wasn't just being paranoid and to call the two numbers. So I did and was greeted by a live answer on one and voicemail on the other, both male voices that I didn't know. The voicemail gave his name which I immediately googled and found only one in my state. I then managed to get his home address and wife's name using the magic of reverse lookup and whitepages.com. 

I confronted my wife the next day and found out that the live one was the OM from last spring and that she could not get him to stop contacting her. "Dr. voicemail" however, was her doctor four years ago with whom she'd had a PA that lasted a year and was still having what she called a "friendship" (EA).

So, what about "Hey Sexy!"? He was our neighbor across the street. 

He died of a heart attack just before Christmas but she managed to squeeze in a couple of encounters with him last fall just before we started counseling. 

So these are the three that I know about. She swears this is the whole story, but I may never believe it. 

We're still going to counseling. I made her write a NC letter to Dr. voicemail. She did it very begrudgingly. I wanted to send it to his home address but let her convince me to send it (certified mail) to his office. I walked her through the process of blocking calls from those two numbers. 

This week she is going to a conference in Las Vegas. I took off work to stay home with our kids.

So I'm feeling most of the feelings described in this tread (except suicide). I also feel like she had done these horrible things to me and has suffered no consequences, so I feel frustration and resentment over that. I'm not sure what to do about that. Should I have "punished" her by saying she could not go to Vegas (a trip she has been planning since last fall)? Should I have insisted that the NC letter go to Dr. voicemail's home to punish her and him? I don't really want to exact revenge or to punish her - I'm not her father, I'm her husband. But how do I deal with my feelings of resentment because she comes out of this seeming to be all happy and peppy and I am miserable? I'll ask our counselor, but am not completely satisfied with the answers and advice we've been getting from her so far. 

Thanks for reading,
TwinsDad


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## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

Read your post again , what part of it tells you that you are manning up. Here is a 2x4; man up your wife never dictates the way forward. Call the OM's wife and send her a copy of the NC letter. Tell her family she is a serial adulteress and never agree to her going away on her own without you again.

Set very high boundaries , write down the questions you want answered read them to her and give her a couple of days to write the answers down, sit and discuss the answers then tell her you are booking a polygraph. If she declines to do any of this file for a divorce , you cannot pretend she has stopped and from what you have written is not remorseful. Stop the MC it is a waste of time.


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

TwinsDad said:


> _I originally posted this as a reply in another thread. 8yearscheating recommended I repost it into a new thread, so..._
> 
> Maybe I should have started a new thread with this, but it was
> reading this one that triggered me to write. I haven't read a post that quite hit the nail on the head for me as this one. I've been feeling the sense of not knowing everything, that a weight was still hanging over my head.
> ...


Physical and Emotional affairs left and right. So you take off work to watch the kids so she can go to a convention in Las Vegas ....................

Completely satified with answers? What is satifying about them?

What behavior do you expect in Vegas?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

TwinsDad said:


> There were a bunch of texts from the same number a day or two before, "why won't you talk to me?", "I need to talk with you!",


Who said those things? Her? Or the OM?



TwinsDad said:


> I confronted my wife the next day and found out that the live one was* the OM from last spring *and that she could not get him to stop contacting her. "Dr. voicemail" however, was *her doctor four years ago with whom she'd had a PA that lasted a year *and was still having what she called a "friendship" (EA).
> 
> So, what about "Hey Sexy!"?* He was our neighbor across the street. *
> 
> ...


Oh my. My heart aches for you. She is a serial cheat. 

No wonder you feel resentful--she never ended contact with OM(s).


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## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

Expose her affairs her family, your family and sit with your children and explain what is happening. They will know something is wrong do not cover her lies and be there for them.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TwinsDad (Jul 6, 2010)

Jellybeans said:


> Who said those things? Her? Or the OM?
> 
> Sorry I wasn't clear about this. These were texts from the OM that she said would not stop trying to contact her.


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

TwinsDad said:


> Jellybeans said:
> 
> 
> > Who said those things? Her? Or the OM?
> ...


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I agree with Grays. She could have easily blocked her # a long time ago. 

In fact, I had to do that recently w/ someone who won't stop calling at all hours of the day. Problem resolved.


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

Reading these things frustrates me so much. I just want to shake people sometimes! DON'T YOU GET IT!?!?! 

Get out of your own way, take a step back and look at this situation. Pretend someone else wrote these posts, go back read them again. What kind of advice would you offer them?


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## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

Good post Pit the man needs to wake up and smell the [email protected]&t.

We are giving you sound advice , we ARE on your side , start listening to what we are saying.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Pit-of-my-stomach said:


> Get out of your own way, take a step back and look at this situation. Pretend someone else wrote these posts, go back read them again. What kind of advice would you offer them?


Why is it that we can always give great advice but hardly take our own advice? Grr. LOL.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

TwinsDad said:


> I posted last summer after my wife confessed a short-lived PA that she had in the spring (the thread still exists if you search on my username). The fact that she confessed and said she loved me and our family gave me hope that we would work it out. It took until fall to get into counseling and start trying to deal with our issues, but we were making (albeit, slow) progress.


I saw that thread from July of last year. It looks like you posted and then left the thread last year. Hopefully you won't do this again. This is what I think happened, go ahead and tell me if I'm correct. It looks like that you decided to R with her too quickly and both of you basically just swept this under the rug and went to MC. Is this right? 

You went straight to R when she is still in the A with her doctor OM. You allowed her to remain "friends" with OM by letting them have continued contact as "friends". Sorry, it doesn't work this way. As long as there is ANY contact, even a text or a phone call, the A is still on. You probably don't even know how many times she had sex with OM. In your original thread you said she admitted to doing it TWICE with OM. Have you heard of Trickle Truth (TT)? Cheaters lie and minimize the extent of their As. If she admitted to twice, it was probably a hell of a lot more than that. And the A is still on, even now probably.



TwinsDad said:


> Then this past winter my wife acted weird when I needed to copy a number from her cell phone to mine and I just (innocently) took her phone to look at the number. "Why don't I just write it down for you?" (you don't need to take my phone!) This aroused suspicion in me, and I checked her text messages and looked at her phone usage, things I never thought to do before. There were a bunch of texts from the same number a day or two before, "why won't you talk to me?", "I need to talk with you!", etc. and one from our neighbor where he addressed her as "Hey Sexy!"


Now after the A was exposed, she goes ahead and has a few more As, now you see OM#2. Didn't you insist on full transparency? I guess not. Her hiding her cell phone from you is a huge red flag and then you discover texts and calls to OM#2.



TwinsDad said:


> So I compared her text log with her contacts and found two numbers that had, by far, the most text messages to and from that were not in her contacts. At this point I had not confronted her and lived with this knowledge for weeks in agony. After all, we were going to counseling, actively trying to get things worked out, right? This couldn't be what it seemed. I finally contacted our counselor who advised that I wasn't just being paranoid and to call the two numbers. So I did and was greeted by a live answer on one and voicemail on the other, both male voices that I didn't know. The voicemail gave his name which I immediately googled and found only one in my state. I then managed to get his home address and wife's name using the magic of reverse lookup and whitepages.com.


So how does she work on the marriage? That's right, she has yet another affair. Now with OM#3. A third OM, imagine that? After she said sorry so many times and is going to MC to work on the marriage. This shows you the level of her committment to you, the marriage, and her family: NONE AT ALL. Now you realize that MC is useless while she is having affairs and its obvious that she isn't getting anything out of it. You are wasting your money in MC right now because she is still in her As with OM#1 & OM#3.



TwinsDad said:


> I confronted my wife the next day and found out that the live one was the OM from last spring and that she could not get him to stop contacting her. "Dr. voicemail" however, was her doctor four years ago with whom she'd had a PA that lasted a year and was still having what she called a "friendship" (EA).


First you said it was a short lived PA, now it's a year long PA? Don't even believe that it's "only" and EA now, it's more than likely still a PA. At this point, considering her pattern of behavior, you cannot believe a single word out of her mouth right now. You have to assume that this "friendship" is still PA.



TwinsDad said:


> So, what about "Hey Sexy!"? He was our neighbor across the street.
> 
> He died of a heart attack just before Christmas but she managed to squeeze in a couple of encounters with him last fall just before we started counseling.


And this is after she apologized for spreading her legs for OM#1 right? She then spread her legs for OM#2 before he died. How trustworthy can she be?



TwinsDad said:


> So these are the three that I know about. She swears this is the whole story, but I may never believe it.


No, you don't have the whole story. She's had OM#1, OM#2, and OM#3 in one year alone, that's Tom, ****, and Harry. Now you MUST question the entirety of your 20 year marriage. For how many years has this been going on? Did you know the majority of As are never discovered? You just discovered the tip of the iceberg. Your WW is already a serial cheater, with 3 OMs in one year alone. And I'm sure she put on the waterworks and begged forgiveness for having an A with OM#1 and you believed her, that's why you decided to R and go to MC. Obviously that didn't work out because the A is still ongoing.

Its easy to see that she is a great actress and can easily convince you. This is not your fault. This is because she is an experienced cheater.



TwinsDad said:


> We're still going to counseling. I made her write a NC letter to Dr. voicemail. She did it very begrudgingly. I wanted to send it to his home address but let her convince me to send it (certified mail) to his office. I walked her through the process of blocking calls from those two numbers.


Like I said, counseling is useless while the A is still ongoing. She's deep in the fog, so whatever she hears in counseling goes in one ear and out the other. Her mind is on all her OM. 

She did the NC letter begrudingly? Are you serious? She is still protecting OM#1! Then she very likely told OM#1 that you forced her to write it and to ignore the NC letter. What you need to do now is EXPOSE THE A to his betrayed wife. Being a doctor, I'm sure he has a wife. Once you expose this A to his wife, watch how quickly he throws your wife under the bus. Contact his wife now! Send a registered letter requiring her signature. Or you can contact her directly by phone. And do not inform your WW that you are doing this. If you do, she will contact OM#1 and he will do damage control and tell his own wife that you are crazy and not to believe anything you say. And the OM will contact your WW to get their stories straight.



TwinsDad said:


> This week she is going to a conference in Las Vegas. I took off work to stay home with our kids.


What conference? I thought you said she was a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM)? So she has affairs with OM#1, OM#2, and OM#3, and still gets to party in Vegas? No wonder you are feeling resentful. Who knows who she's going to screw in Vegas. Maybe she's meeting OM#3 there. You need to man up. She either stays here and fixes what she's done, or she can go to Vegas and not come back. You are at the point now where you must put D on the table. It's clear that she feels she can go party in Vegas and not suffer any consequences of all her affairs because she knows that you will not divorce her.



TwinsDad said:


> I don't really want to exact revenge or to punish her - I'm not her father, I'm her husband. But how do I deal with my feelings of resentment because she comes out of this seeming to be all happy and peppy and I am miserable?


Okay, you are feeling resentful and hurt because she basically spit in your face by not only continuing her A with OM#1, but getting together with OM#2 and OM#3. But you can fix this if you want to. You need to decide what you want out of this marriage. Do you want R, or do you want D? You need to immediately start on the 180, use those elements that are useful to you.

It is clear that your WW is a cake eater. She wants the security of marriage, but also want to be free to screw any man she feels like. You need to take that fork away from her. You need to kill the affairs. To do this, you need to demand that she go NC with all of the OM forever. No texts, no calls, no chats, no email, nothing. There can be no friendship. This is non negotiable. Let her know very clearly that if she breaks NC, then you will walk away from the marriage.

You have to expose the A to OM#1s betrayed wife. Obviously you can't expose the A to OM#2s wife because the scumbag is already 6 feet under. Maybe he already has a spot in hell reserved for him. You need to find out who OM#3s wife/girlfriend is if he has one and expose the A to her. She is an uremorseful, experienced cheater, so this is something that you have to do.

Then she must become totally transparent. She has to willingly give up all her passwords to all accounts, and let you inspect her phone at any time. She lost her right to privacy when she spread her legs for OM#1, much less OM#2 and OM#3. If she doesn't want to, then you can tell her that this is a deal breaker for you. By the way, you need to lawyer up and see what your options are. You need to be prepared to lose your marriage if you want to save it. You need to be able to pull the D trigger and she needs to know and believe that you will.



TwinsDad said:


> I'll ask our counselor, but am not completely satisfied with the answers and advice we've been getting from her so far.


This is why you sometimes have to shop around for counselors. Some counsellors focus on Pre-Affair issues and her needs, rather than dealing with the affair and the resulting issues. Some counsellors actually do more harm and good by actually VALIDATING the cheaters reasons for having the affair. Find a counselor who is experienced in helping couples deal with affairs. Since this counselor isn't working for you, fire her and find another. Find one who won't validate her affair.


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## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

What concerns me is you posted before , you are posting now are you going to follow our advice or just shut down....again.
Stay here and do follow the exposure advice , hell even tell the dead OM's wife she can then glare at your wife everytime she sees her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

I have the feeling that she poured on the crocodile tears and snowed him into going straight into R. He never went back to his original thread even though there was some good advice there. Yeah, I hope he doesn't shut down again. If he does, its his loss.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

With the exception of telling the dead OM's wife (just let her grieve in peace), I agree with the others. And yes, the convention trip would have been cancelled or you should go with her.

Once she had an affair, and got to hang around with you after, follow on affairs were easier and without consequences. 

As another poster said, you have to set the bar very high at this point.

And MC twice a week. Bang it out and get it all on the table.


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## RestlessInGeorgia (Dec 3, 2008)

Jellybeans said:


> Why is it that we can always give great advice but hardly take our own advice? Grr. LOL.


It's easier to give advice when you are not in the exact same situation, or so I figured out recently when I found out about my wife's EA/PA. Before I found out, I was like "If she ever had an affair, out the door she goes." Now, I'm not sure what I want. Actually I am, I want a faithful, loving wife and a marriage that makes everyone else jealous.


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## sammy3 (Jun 5, 2011)

"I want a faitful, loving wife (my case, husband)and a marriage that makes everyone else jealous "
Similar words said to my husband during a heated arguement this morning about, "WHAT DO WANT?" 

~ sammy
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## dtparamour (May 7, 2011)

TwinsDad said:


> I also feel like she had done these horrible things to me and has suffered no consequences, so I feel frustration and resentment over that. I'm not sure what to do about that. Should I have "punished" her by saying she could not go to Vegas (a trip she has been planning since last fall)? Should I have insisted that the NC letter go to Dr. voicemail's home to punish her and him? I don't really want to exact revenge or to punish her - I'm not her father, I'm her husband. But how do I deal with my feelings of resentment because she comes out of this seeming to be all happy and peppy and I am miserable? I'll ask our counselor, but am not completely satisfied with the answers and advice we've been getting from her so far.
> 
> Thanks for reading,
> TwinsDad


Feel your pain, this is exactly one of my biggest hurdles right now, the fact that H has had no real consequences. His family doesn't know, job in tact, even got a bonus to help pay for our counseling. Geesshh! Frustration barely describes the feeling.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Are you still married & cheating, Finding? Did you ever tell your wife about your cheating?


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Your wife has been a contemptible person. She has serious problems that have destroyed your marriage.

You need to get away from her.

And get tested for STDs.

Your mistake has been in suffering under the illusion that she shares your interest in repairing your marriage.

She is fully interested in using that to her advantage. Act like she wants to, then go screw whomever she wants to. And yo get to pay the bills. Sweet deal for her.

Look, the marriage you thought you had with her does not exist.

Pick yourself up off the floor and get away from this terrible user of a person.

Find a lawyer and get the process started to divorce her.

It is not fixable.


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## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

My own biggest mistake, was to ever expect my wife to see much less admit, that what she did was considered an "affair". It appears there are vast amounts of people out there that still think you have to have a PA for it to be "oh so contemptible". 
I remember talking to her mom about what was going on, and I mentioned the term "Emotional Affair" to having become involved with, hundreds of texts back and forth, and eventually meeting in secret, and her mom said "Well, I GUESS...."
I guess. 
You guess????
The apple evidently does not fall far from the tree.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Shooboomafoo said:


> My own biggest mistake, was to ever expect my wife to see much less admit, that what she did was considered an "affair". It appears there are vast amounts of people out there that still think you have to have a PA for it to be "oh so contemptible".
> I remember talking to her mom about what was going on, and I mentioned the term "Emotional Affair" to having become involved with, hundreds of texts back and forth, and eventually meeting in secret, and her mom said "Well, I GUESS...."
> I guess.
> You guess????
> The apple evidently does not fall far from the tree.


I know what you mean. When a man/woman gives their heart to someone else, its just as bad as giving their body. Thats giving and sharing with someone else your most intimate feelings, hopes, and dreams.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

lordmayhem said:


> I know what you mean. When a man/woman gives their heart to someone else, its just as bad as giving their body. Thats giving and sharing with someone else your most intimate feelings, hopes, and dreams.


That's giving them too much credit. If they're tossing it at anyone who strolls by then they don't have a heart worth fighting for. And any monkey can show another monkey its ass.


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## 8yearscheating (Oct 14, 2010)

Well Twin - this is why I wanted you start your own thread. People can't personally address your issue on someone else's thread. Some pretty strong advice for you here. Lord Mayhem is one the best and has his story to back up what he says as do others. Personally my is also a long sad tale. Fortunately for me my wife stopped once discovered. Yours on the other hand has had no consequences or reasons to. I'd start by slamming the door financially. Empty all joint accounts, kill all joint credit cards, take you name off any joint loans. Notify the three credit bureaus you are separating and to put a fraud alert on your account not to issue any new credit without your express written permission. The expect the NC, complete transparency as described by others. Change all her email accounts, her cell phone number, the house phone number, etc and make them all unlisted or blocked. It's all done or there's the door and my lawyer will draw up the papers.


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

You posted this asking for help (again?) and have not responded TwinsDad ?. Last time you came asking for advice, you choose not to follow it and disappeared... Now you pop in to say what a continued disaster things are, ask again what you should do and.... WHere'd you go (again) ??

You....


"W is still cheating on me! I'm crushed!!"

"What should I do?"










La La La La La La I Can't Hear You La La La La La La 
Everything is Fine La La La La La La What Problems? 
La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La

lol.


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## KJ5000 (May 29, 2011)

Sorry if I sound harsh.
She KNOWS you will forgive almost anything, sees you as week and will continue her side action and affairs in perpetuity.
You cool with that? This is beyond repair IMO.
No talking, no MC! GET OUT, take time, heal and start your life over.
And no friendship after the divorce either. Who wants someone like her as a "friend" except a bed buddy and apparently she has plenty of those already.


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## TwinsDad (Jul 6, 2010)

Thanks to everyone for responding to my post. Sorry I haven't posted in a while.

I understand and appreciate the advice you've given me, especially the "man-up" advice. Believe me, if it weren't for my kids, I'd be posting in the divorce forum now. My kids mean everything to me, which is why I'm giving it one more chance to work out.

We're planning to take up with a new MC. Our previous one was a good start, she listened to us and provided feedback while in sessions, but didn't really give us any tools or "homework" to help us change things at home.

Just to clarify some things from earlier, she had PA with Dr. Voicemail in 2007/8, then stopped but continued a friendship. The other PAs were in 2010. July 4th triggered me since it was a one-year anniversary of her admitting to the one PA. I find it difficult to put enough clear detail into these postings so that people can understand and respond appropriately. Totally my fault, and I am sorry.

Thanks again


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

It looks like your wife needs to go to IC. Is she?


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## TwinsDad (Jul 6, 2010)

Sorry, morituri..."IC"?


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Individual counseling. Your wife has some unresolved personal issues that have led her to have affairs as a way to fill that void inside her. Untreated they can have the potential of destroying her like they did with my ex-wife who is now a patient at a psychiatric hospital.

If you care for her, insist that she seek professional counseling to help address and resolve these personal issues.


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## TwinsDad (Jul 6, 2010)

Thanks! (Duh, now I get it.) Yes, some things have come out in our MC sessions. We've both had IC sessions with our MC. I found them helpful too.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

You wrote on another thread:



> Diesel - I'm one of those guys you were talking about when you said, "if I only try harder maybe she'll treat me like a human being." Went through this for years to try to save a 20+ year marriage for my kids. Now that I'm on the other side (she FINALLY moved out 4 months ago) I know my kids will be OK and so will I. Hang in there and stay on this forum. I dropped off of it when people started telling me what I needed to hear. I just couldn't listen. BTW, I found another forum helpful. Chumplady.com. Not just for women. Good luck!


It would be great to have you explain here on your thread what happened. How much did you dig for the truth about your STBXW's cheating?

What lead you to give up on R?


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

TwinsDad said:


> _
> 
> So I'm feeling most of the feelings described in this tread (except suicide). I also feel like she had done these horrible things to me and has suffered no consequences, so I feel frustration and resentment over that. I'm not sure what to do about that. Should I have "punished" her by saying she could not go to Vegas (a trip she has been planning since last fall)? Should I have insisted that the NC letter go to Dr. voicemail's home to punish her and him? I don't really want to exact revenge or to punish her - I'm not her father, I'm her husband. But how do I deal with my feelings of resentment because she comes out of this seeming to be all happy and peppy and I am miserable? I'll ask our counselor, but am not completely satisfied with the answers and advice we've been getting from her so far.
> 
> ...


_

No your not her father, your her husband but a foolish one at that. 

How many men does she need to fool around with before you reach your breaking point? 

So far there's been 2, maybe three and you'll never know because your neighbor died and you still aren't willing to do anything about it so are you going to wait until she gets into the double digits before you wake up?

Now she wants to go to Vegas? People in hell want ice water. Your going to let her? All your doing is contributing to her behavior by sitting and doing nothing.

First of all, IMO tell her Vegas is out and there's no room for discussion and your not going to here her side of it.

Then schedule a polygraph test for her to take and if she kicks up a fuss for either not taking the test or about not getting to go to Vegas then you know what we know, that she's a liar, cheat and doesn't care and if that's the case you show her the door.

Friend it's time you man up and take control of your home because she's in the passing lane and you on the sidewalk._


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## ShootMePlz! (Oct 5, 2008)

This is 3 yrs old!!!!


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

He came back in March of this year.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

Entropy3000 said:


> Physical and Emotional affairs left and right. So you take off work to watch the kids so she can go to a convention in Las Vegas ....................
> 
> Completely satified with answers? What is satifying about them?
> 
> What behavior do you expect in Vegas?


VEGAS? You sent her off to Vegas? I would not trust her to go to the supermarket! 

I would install keyloger software on computer and phone, and find out who else is going to vegas with her. If it is one of these creeps, change the locks while she is there, and cancel her credit cards too.


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

LongWalk said:


> He came back in March of this year.


Agree with LW, even if the thread is old but the user is still around No problem weaking up the zoombie, I have done it before


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

It was a very, very long road for him, a long time to live in the hell of limbo, considering his D-Day was July 2010. It only took her 3 years to move out. From February 27 of this year:



TwinsDad said:


> I think I'm one of the people that AlmostRecovered is talking about with this sticky. Joined and posted for advice back in 2010, followed up in mid 2011. *Got spot on advice from folks like lordmayhem, Eli-Zor, and Pit-of-my-stomach. Then dropped off the forums.* It's been a long, painful road for me and my children. *Had I been able to hear and taken more of the advice offered to me back then, it might have been shortened a bit*.
> 
> Just wanted to post this thank you to those that gave me supportive and productive replies to my requests for help back then and an apology for not maintaining contact. I hope I can be of some help to others now that I am an experienced, reformed chump, and proud soon-to-be single dad.


From March:



TwinsDad said:


> Diesel - I'm one of those guys you were talking about when you said, "if I only try harder maybe she'll treat me like a human being." Went through this for years to try to save a 20+ year marriage for my kids. Now that I'm on the other side (she FINALLY moved out 4 months ago) I know my kids will be OK and so will I. Hang in there and stay on this forum. *I dropped off of it when people started telling me what I needed to hear. I just couldn't listen.* BTW, I found another forum helpful. Chumplady.com. Not just for women. Good luck!


You're welcome. Hope things work out for you and you find someone much better than your STBXW.


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

lordmayhem said:


> It was a very, very long road for him, a long time to live in the hell of limbo, considering his D-Day was July 2010. It only took her 3 years to move out. From February 27 of this year:


Well he said it himself, when people began to tell him the crude reality and what he needed to do, he just abondoned the forum ignoring the advices so of course he have to go through the whole ordeal in the slow way, probably he even went through a period thinking that he had a sucessfully R (sort like Acoa's case), at least in the end he did what was best for him, there are people out there that never do it.


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## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

Honestly digging up old threads..just let it go.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

3 that you know about, there is probably more then 3 of them... Ask yourself this do I want to live like this the rest of my life?? She wont stop cheating shes already been with 3 different men that you know of. If I were you id leave her ass


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