# Not interested in sex with him



## MrsBananaRama (Jan 17, 2017)

Hubby and I have been together a long time, 18 years so pretty much our whole adult lives. Over time I feel like we've become sexually incompatible. We never did have a stellar sex life but in the early days it was good enough. A few kids later and now we're getting older and I just haven't felt satisfied in so many years. It makes me not want to initiate intimacy because it's rarely satisfying for me. He's on the smaller side which wasn't a huge issue when we first started dating but as the years have gone on I realize it's become a bigger issue for me to feel satisfied and it's not just a size issue. We've tried toys, etc. but it doesn't solve the actual problem. He also is not able to control when he climaxes and it is often over way too soon (in minutes) and we've talked about this but he's never really sought out anything to help with it even though I have suggested more than once. The other issue is that I have also began to feel emotional distance from him over the last few years. With his job he is away at night, leaving me solo parenting the kids. When it is our time to be together as a family on the weekends, we go out to do family activities and he is edgy, not interested, he even yells at the kids in public and this embarrasses me and makes me want to just take them out by myself. At home, he is constantly on his phone playing games and will ignore us. We had a big talk a few months ago about the disconnect I've been feeling and I told him how upsetting it is that he ignores us, gets angry too often, will get mad at me over something insignificant and then ignore me for HOURS. I asked him if he really wanted to be with us; if it weren't for financial constraints would he prefer to leave me and the kids? He said no and admitted that he did feel edgy and angry when we go out as a family but it hasn't really changed. We don't even go out that much as a family anymore and I'm sad about this. I also mentioned that when the kids are older, if we're still in the same "rut", what would be keeping us together? I was clear I wasn't threatening to leave him but wanted him to know that we aren't going down a great path at the moment. He has made more effort to engage with me and the kids lately but I still feel this disconnect and I'm not sure where to go from here. I love this man -- when we married I couldn't imagine ever being without him -- now I feel like over time he has changed and I don't know how to get back to what we once had. There are no infidelity issues on his part or mine but I fear that the disconnect and lack of sexual satisfaction is putting me at risk of wanting to find it outside of our marriage. I feel so conflicted that I have been attracted to other men and had desires for someone else lately (which may be a mutual attraction) when I should be feeling it for my husband. I have never cheated on him and, in fact, have never cheated on a boyfriend ever in my life. The fact that I feel like I could, that I maybe even want to, is very troubling. 

It feels like I'm in limbo and kind of stuck in a situation that isn't fulfilling for me. Financially and logistically, it wouldn't benefit either of us to not be together so that is a huge roadblock. I know people might think, and may even do it themselves, to just leave. But it's not always that easy to do when kids are involved and one person is the major breadwinner (me, in this case). On the outside we appear to be a healthy happy couple and have been together "forever" but it's not so much on the inside. I haven't told anyone, friends or family, how I'm feeling or what's going on. I guess I don't want them to tell me what they think I should do because I kind of have to figure it out on my own. 

Anyone ever been in this position before?


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## Holdingontoit (Mar 7, 2012)

So sorry you are facing this issue. Not easy to bring up. Clearly it will hurt him to hear the truth. But I am sure he suspects and getting it out in the open is the only way to resolve the issue.

Do both of you a favor. Talk to him honestly about how you feel. Go to a sex therapist. See if, working together with the issue out in the open and with professional guidance, you can find a way for him to satisfy you on a regular basis. If you can, imagine how much better your life and marriage will be. His self-confidence will soar. Your pleasure will soar. You will both feel more connected. Win-win-win for everyone.

If he cannot satisfy you despite professional intervention, or if he won't try or do the work required (might require changes to his diet and more exercise, ED meds so he can do "round 2", etc.), then you both have difficult choices to make.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

MrsBananaRama said:


> It feels like I'm in limbo and kind of stuck in a situation that isn't fulfilling for me. Financially and logistically, it wouldn't benefit either of us to not be together so that is a huge roadblock. I know people might think, and may even do it themselves, to just leave. But it's not always that easy to do when kids are involved and one person is the major breadwinner (me, in this case).


Wait. What?

*You're* the major breadwinner in the family yet you're 'stuck' because _he's_ under-employed? That would be his problem, not yours. 

I'm not quite sure why you're willing to stay in such a miserable marriage with someone whose *SO* completely disconnected from you in every single, possible way. Also, don't be TOO sure he's 'playing games' on his phone. My spidey senses tell me that's not all he's doing on that phone.

I'd be willing to bet the farm if he won the lottery tomorrow, he'd be gone so fast your head would spin.

Don't stay for financial reasons. Life is too short.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Don't stay for financial reasons. Life is too short.


The sounds nice but not practical for many reasons. If the result of a divorce would be an additional financial hardship, it's something that can't be done. I've been in that situation for a very long time. I identify with the OP, this causes a situation where you're basically stuck. A divorce would only make matters worse. It's not as easy and pick up your stuff and leave.


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## MrsBananaRama (Jan 17, 2017)

Thanks for the replies so far. I'll respond to each: 

Holdingontoit -- We have talked about sex issues...I feel like there isn't much more to say about it as I've been very open about it in the past and he has acknowledged that he isn't satisfying me or himself sometimes, which is equally frustrating to him. Counselling or therapy I don't think is something he'd be up for. I have suggested counselling for him for his edginess and anger for no reason and he wasn't up for it and hasn't made any efforts to try that out. I can't force him to do it. 

Shesstillgotit -- It's complicated. He's not underemployed, it's just that we have very different jobs and his doesn't have high pay compared to mine. We both work hard and have great work ethic wrt our jobs. I also do genuinely love him deeply...whether I'm "in love" is something else and I never realized there is a difference until I've been questioning it late.ly. I've spent half my life with this person and I've taken on this "caring for him" role but I also do almost everything in the household. I've been candid that I want a husband, not another kid to take care of. It's almost turned into a bit of an ongoing joke but the truth is that I resent it sometimes. He says how much he needs me....to take care of and figure everything out...sometimes I want to someone to take care of things for me and it's frustrating. I don't want to paint the wrong picture though; he does have good qualities and he does do things for me and has been there for me in times that have been hard for me. Oh and when we had that convo a few months back, I asked him if money didn't matter and he had a really high-paying job, would he leave me? He said no and it sounded genuine but who knows. 

jb02157 -- That's kind of it. Financially we're both much better off together.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Just looking at the issue with your sex life: Does he want to please you in bed, or does he not care?


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## MrsBananaRama (Jan 17, 2017)

uhtred said:


> Just looking at the issue with your sex life: Does he want to please you in bed, or does he not care?


Yes I think he does, but doesn't want to actually do anything about it. Does that even make sense?


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## MrsBananaRama (Jan 17, 2017)

jb02157 said:


> The sounds nice but not practical for many reasons. If the result of a divorce would be an additional financial hardship, it's something that can't be done. I've been in that situation for a very long time. I identify with the OP, this causes a situation where you're basically stuck. A divorce would only make matters worse. It's not as easy and pick up your stuff and leave.


How have you handled your emotional and physical needs? I'm a strong person and am willing to sacrifice my own satisfaction for the benefit of my kids and our family unit. But how long can someone neglect emotional and physical satisfaction? At what point will my need for this drive me to do something that I know is wrong (ie. infidelity emotionally or physically?) It's never justified and I wouldn't ever blame him so feel incredibly guilty even wanting someone else who makes me feel what is missing.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

MrsBananaRama said:


> Yes I think he does, but doesn't want to actually do anything about it. Does that even make sense?


You mentioned that he doesn't last long. Is there anything going on besides PiV? Do you both take the time to make sure you are both warmed up?


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

MrsBananaRama said:


> How have you handled your emotional and physical needs? I'm a strong person and am willing to sacrifice my own satisfaction for the benefit of my kids and our family unit. But how long can someone neglect emotional and physical satisfaction? At what point will my need for this drive me to do something that I know is wrong (ie. infidelity emotionally or physically?) It's never justified and I wouldn't ever blame him so feel incredibly guilty even wanting someone else who makes me feel what is missing.


My emotional and physical needs have had to be put on hold until this situation changes where I or the family wouldn't be as severely impacted as we would be now. I have tried and tried to talk to her about all the many issues in our marriage and she in unwilling to do anything or make any compromise. I have long planned that when our last daughter is out of school my financial obligation to the family will be less and I can leave her. As unfair as it it, my needs will have to wait until then.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

In a way it does to me. My wife *wants* to take care of my physical needs, but is unwilling to actually do anything about them. I think its possible for someone to honestly (at least honest to themselves) want to do something, but just not be able to make themselves actually do so.

That doesn't help though.

If you ask him to do sexual things for you before you have intercourse, how does he respond? 



I may be focusing too much on the sexual issues, but sometimes a bad sex life can poison the rest of a relationship 




MrsBananaRama said:


> Yes I think he does, but doesn't want to actually do anything about it. Does that even make sense?


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## MrsBananaRama (Jan 17, 2017)

Fozzy said:


> You mentioned that he doesn't last long. Is there anything going on besides PiV? Do you both take the time to make sure you are both warmed up?


Yes there's warm up, often massage or some cuddling. 



uhtred said:


> If you ask him to do sexual things for you before you have intercourse, how does he respond?


That's not a problem. As I mentioned above, he will give me a massage to warm things up. Foreplay is not an issue and he's very willing to do other things for my pleasure. But I want to really be able to get into it (the sex) but I tend to hold back or there is a lot of stopping when I just want to go at it (sorry for TMI) but feel that I can't really get into it because it will cause it to end too quickly. Again, we've talked about this for YEARS.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

MrsBananaRama said:


> That's not a problem. As I mentioned above, he will give me a massage to warm things up. Foreplay is not an issue and he's very willing to do other things for my pleasure. But I want to really be able to get into it (the sex) but I tend to hold back or there is a lot of stopping when I just want to go at it (sorry for TMI) but feel that I can't really get into it because it will cause it to end too quickly. Again, we've talked about this for YEARS.


A friend of mine was with a man who would go off in minutes when they had sex, so the way they handled it was this easy...they just did it twice. The first time, he'd go off in minutes as expected, and they both just got into the quick frenzy of getting him off that first time. Then they would rest for a bit, he would give her oral or other play, they would make out and then soon enough, he'd be ready again. The second time then would last much longer and they could both get satisfied.

At other times, he would just get himself off an hour or so before sex, and that would then usually make the sex last a good time longer than normal.

To accomplish this though, they had a couple of things that I think are necessary....they were not embarrassed or upset by this. They just considered it a fact about the way his body works and worked with it without any shame or emotional side effects. They talked about it. "Hey let's have sex later, will you go get yourself off first please, I can help if you want!" was a typical way for her to initiate sex, for instance. It just was a part of their sex life and it didn't mean anything was "wrong" with either of them.

It sounds like you love your husband but are frustrated and sad about how things are going, so I don't know if you two would be able to implement something like this, but it was worth suggesting.

You mentioned you feel attracted to someone and it may be mutual. This is a very slippery slope, and per your words, you can feel it....you know this is a potential hazard to your fidelity. 

Whoever it is, I would advise you to cut them out of your life. That's really the only way to get over a crush like that. I know you probably enjoy the feeling of attraction and being turned on by the thought of better sex....it does feel good to fantasize, of course. But seriously, you will be very sorry later if you don't cut that off completely and just try to either fix your marriage or figure out how and when you can safely leave the marriage.

Fantasizing about a particular person you know in real life has a way of making that fantasy turn into an affair. Though the reality of an affair is such an ugly thing, you would never believe it was the same original fantasy. What feels like a light fun adventure, suddenly turns into the end of your life as you knew it, including breaking the hearts of everyone who loves you.

It sounds like his general grumpiness and edginess is a problem and without him working on that, you probably won't be able to improve things too much. So I would focus on this area for now. He either needs to show some willingness to work on his attitude (whatever that takes, he may need to see a medical doctor, he may be low T or have some other condition that is causing his grumpiness, he may need counseling, anti-depressants, etc), or he needs to just be able to say "this is who I am, grumpy is what I am now, take it or leave it". That way, you could at least know he is not willing to work on that and then it would be up to you to decide if you want to stay with him for the rest of your life or not, knowing he won't change. Not having false hope, in other words. He either needs to work on it and give you hope or let you know there isn't any.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

The unfortunately reality is that some men are not able to satisfy their partners through PIV. They may not last long enough, get tired, have ED etc. These problems also tend to increase with age.

I think the solution is to try to stop thinking of PIV as the main part of sex. If he is willing, there are lots of other things he can do to please you and give you an O - oral, toys etc. PIV can be *part* of your normal sex life, but not the central feature. 

This may not be optimal for you, but I think realistically as we all age it will be difficult to find men who can manage PIV for as long and that way that you want. 









MrsBananaRama said:


> Yes there's warm up, often massage or some cuddling.
> 
> 
> 
> That's not a problem. As I mentioned above, he will give me a massage to warm things up. Foreplay is not an issue and he's very willing to do other things for my pleasure. But I want to really be able to get into it (the sex) but I tend to hold back or there is a lot of stopping when I just want to go at it (sorry for TMI) but feel that I can't really get into it because it will cause it to end too quickly. Again, we've talked about this for YEARS.


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## WonkyNinja (Feb 28, 2013)

MrsBananaRama said:


> Yes I think he does, but doesn't want to actually do anything about it. Does that even make sense?


I think that would class as "doesn't care".


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## wantshelp (Mar 10, 2016)

MrsBananaRama said:


> Foreplay is not an issue and he's very willing to do other things for my pleasure. But I want to really be able to get into it (the sex) but I tend to hold back or there is a lot of stopping when I just want to go at it (sorry for TMI) but feel that I can't really get into it because it will cause it to end too quickly. Again, we've talked about this for YEARS.


TMI? I need more detail. 

First off, some people say there is a size problem when there may not be. 5.1" is average for American Men and the majority of men are within an inch of that. When he is fully erect, is he outside of that range? 

Do you masturbate? How do you orgasm when you do? Vaginally? Clitoral? Anal? Combo? 

Recalling the best orgasm of your life, how did that happen? 

With respect to him not lasting as long. There are desensitization gels, but I'm always afraid it might desensitize the partner... I've never tried them, but it can make men last longer. Some folks have suggested ED medication to get the second erection quicker. I have cabergoline to block prolactin release. You'll need to talk to a good doctor to get the prescription. You see, after orgasm, men lose their erection (or soften). The period of time where the erection is lost is called the refractory period. It's normal and gets longer as men age. The release of prolactin at the time of ejaculation is what causes the loss of erection. So, for your problem, you should consider the combo of an ED medication and cabergoline. I bet it will be great fun for both of you. Being able to last longer might give him a mind-blowing orgasm too! 

If he is willing to do the foreplay, he's probably willing to try. Also, if you want REALLY big, you can buy a penis extension sex toy. They are big fake penises that slide over the penis with a loop the holds on by wrapping around the scrotum. I tried one as a gag once. My wife complained that it was uncomfortable to her, so we never used it again. But, boy did we have a good laugh!


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

I've read some posts of women in a similar situation. 

One woman had a breakthrough by simply taking charge of her own pleasure and the sharing that with her husband. She let go of holding her husband responsible and getting upset with him when he would let her down. This drastically changed the dynamics in her bedroom! Here are some of the things that can happen with that:



If premature ejaculation is the result of performance anxiety, then if you become in charge of your own pleasure it can help relieve his anxiety to relax and be more in the moment with you. 
If you share your own pleasure with your husband, this can also make his libido and interest in pleasing you begin to respond much better.
It may begin to increase the frequency at which the two of you have sex, which will also help reduce his performance anxiety.


*IMPORTANT:* If you are pressuring your husband into sex and making him feel compelled to orgasm, he could be forcing himself to make it happen (and fast) when he may not really be in the mood. Doing so can drastically impact his personality! The refractory period after sex with men releases hormones that for all practical purposes will make him withdrawn and irritable. If he forces an orgasm, the effects of these hormones will be even worse because his body is saying, "hey you were not even wanting that, so you need to back off of that!" So talk to him about this! Try to get him to enjoy an orgasm while actively relaxing his muscles and taking deep breaths. If for some reason it does not happen while doing that, then take a break and try again later that same day or the next day. 

Hope that helps,
Badsanta


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## Saibasu (Nov 3, 2016)

Massage and cuddling is great and n all, but if that was my husbands only go to for *warming me up* I'd get bored with it pretty quick. What about a makeout session on the couch followed by a pick up and toss into the bedroom? What about attacking him when he's unexpecting it and just go wild? Or try a nice 69 position. There is sooooo much more than just piv. Do round two! Do mutual oral followed by round two. 

Whatever you do, warming up isn't just cuddles and massage. Stride up to him, grab his package, and tell him it's go time then look him in the eye and let him know it ain't over until your screaming through an O. You know, make him want to achieve it! My H goes before me he KNOWS what I was an 'd expect and he always delivers, but he never used to. I had to be point blank with him "I expect you to put in the effort to get me, because I need it just as much as you do" one long open convo later and our sex life has become outrageously phenomenal ever since. Bad sex = bad marriage. 



MrsBananaRama said:


> Yes there's warm up, often massage or some cuddling.
> 
> 
> 
> That's not a problem. As I mentioned above, he will give me a massage to warm things up. Foreplay is not an issue and he's very willing to do other things for my pleasure. But I want to really be able to get into it (the sex) but I tend to hold back or there is a lot of stopping when I just want to go at it (sorry for TMI) but feel that I can't really get into it because it will cause it to end too quickly. Again, we've talked about this for YEARS.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

> Massage and cuddling is great and n all, but if that was my husbands only go to for *warming me up* I'd get bored with it pretty quick.


That might be fine while I'm writing out my shopping list or watching the Judge Judy I recorded, but it doesn't sound much like foreplay.


> That's not a problem. As I mentioned above, he will give me a massage to warm things up. Foreplay is not an issue and he's very willing to do other things for my pleasure. But I want to really be able to get into it (the sex) but I tend to hold back or there is a lot of stopping when I just want to go at it (sorry for TMI) but feel that I can't really get into it because it will cause it to end too quickly. Again, we've talked about this for YEARS.


OP, you're your own worst enemy, throwing monkey wrenches into the machinery then wondering why in hell it continues not to work.

Your husband being a one-pump chump has been an ongoing constant for years. It's not something new. But is it really rocket science to have him spend the first half hour (or whatever) making sure YOU'RE satisfied before he has his quickie? If he's *not *willing to do that when it's HIS inadequacies in bed that are *causing* all this strife, then he's a selfish jackass.

THAT'S what you've got to work with. THAT'S your reality. Stop trying to manipulate the outcome by shooting yourself in the foot and holding back because you're not going to *change* it.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> That might be fine while I'm writing out my shopping list or watching the Judge Judy I recorded, but it doesn't sound much like foreplay.
> OP, you're your own worst enemy, throwing monkey wrenches into the machinery then wondering why in hell it continues not to work.
> 
> Your husband being a one-pump chump has been an ongoing constant for years. It's not something new. But is it really rocket science to have him spend the first half hour (or whatever) making sure YOU'RE satisfied before he has his quickie? If he's *not *willing to do that when it's HIS inadequacies in bed that are *causing* all this strife, then he's a selfish jackass.
> ...



I'm not reading it that way. It sounds like he is willing to do other stuff but she's only interested in PiV pounding. She's limiting her own enjoyment of sex in this way. We also don't know for sure that he's a "one pump chump". Most guys can't go marathon lengths of nonstop piv, so if that's what she's pushing for, they're both going to end up disappointed. 

What she DID say is that he's not willing to do anything about it. But anything about what, exactly? Find ways to last longer PiV? Ok fair enough, but there's only so much return on investment with that regard. Find alternative ways to satisfy her? By her own words, it doesn't sound like she wants that. So we're left with a woman who wants something that her husband may not be able to give her, and is not willing to accept anything else.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

he is irritable. sex is not so good. he is hard to communicate.

Maybe the issue is that you make more money than he does, he does not like it, would like to do something about it, but can not see a way to better his position. So when you get intimate he is thinking odd things like that. He may not even realize he is doing that, it being subconscious. 

If that is so, it is more complex a situation than you can handle alone. He needs some professional counseling to try to get over it.

Maybe night classes at a local college or trade school that add some skills to his porfolio, would give him some more personal worth?


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## 41362 (Dec 14, 2012)

Another "monkey wrench" would be the direct correlation between his edginess and irritability and your vocal displeasure with his inability to satisfy you. If my wife gave me an F- after every rendezvous, I would would be nasty, too....hell, I'd be spiraling towards depression. The emotional distance you feel was initiated by him- the work schedule, the preference of his phone over you, etc. In this regard, I would bet he feels emasculated. 

There have been some good ideas tossed in this thread... especially from"wantshelp" and FW. That said, he may not even care to try anything new at this point.

You really need to try and rebuild his confidence here...and, I know he's resisted IC, but that needs to happen. MC, too.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

41362 said:


> Another "monkey wrench" would be the direct correlation between his edginess and irritability and your vocal displeasure with his inability to satisfy you. If my wife gave me an F- after every rendezvous, I would would be nasty, too....hell, I'd be spiraling towards depression. The emotional distance you feel was initiated by him- the work schedule, the preference of his phone over you, etc. In this regard, I would bet he feels emasculated.
> .


THAT is a great catch! Yes guys are VERY sensitive about that. If you are the quiet type, make a concerted effort to groan and moan as you have sex. Tell him "OMG, that was WONDERFUL!" afterward. You do not have to go for an oscar winning performance, but you NEED to give him positive reinforcement!!!


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## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

Well, shame and ego is probably holding him back. If loving assurances has never worked than you are not getting past that barrier. Imagine if your ego, what gives you a sense of value is on your own end, under attack, he would not seek out help for his shortcomings no matter what. Seeking a sexual therapist, he would have to admit he is inadequate to a stranger and when he is with you, he is reminded of his issues. You may just be in a lose, lose situation.

People have this major tendency not to seek help until a catastrophic event occurs. Obese people know that they are obese but will not tend to seek help until a crisis occurs, diatbetes, heart attack, etc. High odds that your husband will not seek help if positive encouragement has not been successful. Then this anger, his feelings of inadequacy branches out towards everything.

If his job is stressing him out, he is seeking escape as children is stress, house work is stress,, relationship is stress so he lashes out and is avoiding other responsibilities. This is just my opinion of course.

Yes, he is willing to to be a poor role model for the children, losing their respect, keep you unhappy and uncared for because he is too focused on himself. You can tell him how unhappy you are and he may know, like an obese person knows they are obese, but facing his issues will mean facing his fears, his own self worth, and hiding or ignoring the issues.

If all talk, encouragement has failed, your last bet is the nuclear option because you have not yet reached him that this is a severe enough issue. You are still there, everything no matter how terrible is still the norm and why would you leave if you have not done so over the years. Nothing has changed.

In the meantime, go to couple's counseling on your own first to find out if there are tools you have not yet reached, detach as you will just grow more resentful if your expectations are not met, or lower them and accept ther fact that you are mainly the parent while he is just a paycheck not giving any guidance like a parent should, accept a crappy sex life and fake orgasms, and take on the lop-sided duties and let him escape from other responsibilities. Face it, if you tell him what you want and he takes it as criticism instead of listening, he has an issue. You are communicating and if you do it well, he has a problem receiving. If encouragement has failed, and telling him point blank he is bad at sex has failed, you pretty much have no way of talking and action is the next course.

I dumped my previous gf because of her sexual issues and found the grass is greener because I have a partner that meets my needs and I hers. It starts with transparency and being honest wiht one another and it takes me looking into a mirror and her as well so we both get the relationship we want. If you have looked into the mirror and he cannot, there can not be a better relationship as it only takes one to drag it down. No one can carry a great relationship on their own and save another person from themselves. He is more likely to drag you down with him when you burn out from being the real only parent, house keeper, you will neglect yourself in order to maintain his own end.


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

Have you considered seeing a sex therapist? I have had several clients that have repaired their relationship by seeing a professional counselor to address the problems in the bedroom. My bet is that he is embarrassed and has some function problems. Sooner or later one of you (probably you) will want to get their sexual frustrations worked out, if he does not address this, then you will have to go outside the marriage or become asexual.


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

For him getting off too fast, get a prescription of Paxel. May not help the other stuff, but it will cure that problem.


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## ad356 (Feb 8, 2017)

its his responsibility to you and the marriage to satisfy your natural desire for sex. you have not gone outside of the marriage. you need to find some nice, kind way of explaining that to him. i once got my wife off 6 times oral works wonders, i kept asking her if she was "thirsty for more" she was enjoying it so i kept going and going and going. i put her on a pedestal when it comes to sex. i want her to be sexually satisfied, emotionally and physically drained when im done. im not stopping till she said she has had enough. frankly when im done with her she'll come back for more. satisfying my wife is my duty as a husband. sure there are other needs i have to meet but sex is one of them, and an important need


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