# How much sex per week?



## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

You see all these newspaper surveys that make out that everyone is at it 2/3 times a day?

Whats the truth though? Particularly for people who've been together a while, like 20 years, got kids etc?


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

I think that greatly depends on peoples age, more frequency when under 25...
For old people like my husband and I who are around the half century mark, one time a week seems to be good for us both, and
we are happy with that. 
I wouldn't take thopse surveys to heart, because I believe many of them are designed to create conflict to get people to spend money on things like counseling, beauty products, clothing, etc...
and do not reflect the reality of life for most people.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

2-3 times a day?? thats laughable.

i speak in terms of "per month", and maybe twice per


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## Mommybean (Jan 22, 2009)

We average 5-6 times per week. I am 36, he is 30. We have two kids, ages 2 and 4 and have been together 5 years.


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## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

Mommybean said:


> We average 5-6 times per week. I am 36, he is 30. We have two kids, ages 2 and 4 and have been together 5 years.


5-6 times week. Thats almost every day !!!!!

5-6 times a year is about our average :-(


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

psychocandy said:


> 5-6 times week. Thats almost every day !!!!!
> 
> 5-6 times a year is about our average :-(


Until I was 35, I had sex often daily. I found sex GREAT when 30-35 years old. Too bad the sex partners I selected were not relationship material because they weren't. 

Great sex does not equal a great marriage.

I'm only glad I never married any of the men I picked when my sex drive was high:smthumbup: or I'd been really sorry.

Good sex and lots of it does not equal good marriage or a good partner/ spouse.
That is the truth although many will argue with it.... I can only guess they have some growing up to do to realize how it really is.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

If one partner is denying another partners core needs that is not a healthy marriage. 5-6 times a year is profoundly broken if the high drive spouse has even an average drive. 

That frequency almost always means the low drive spouse has a sexual aversion to their partner. And they are putting out the minimum amount to avoid divorce. 




preso said:


> Until I was 35, I had sex often daily. I found sex GREAT when 30-35 years old. Too bad the sex partners I selected were not relationship material because they weren't.
> 
> Great sex does not equal a great marriage.
> 
> ...


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## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

MEM11363 said:


> If one partner is denying another partners core needs that is not a healthy marriage. 5-6 times a year is profoundly broken if the high drive spouse has even an average drive.
> 
> That frequency almost always means the low drive spouse has a sexual aversion to their partner. And they are putting out the minimum amount to avoid divorce.


Yeh. Not great. But wife does offer other services other than full penetrative sex about once a week.

Her take on this is that she really cant be bothered with sex but this is no hassle for her and she does it for me. Her argument is that ever since I've known her she hasnt been that bothered with sex.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

If the alternative you are getting is satisfying to you - then you are in a once a week frequency - which most men can live with. Actually I find a great back massage + a hand job or a nice BJ to be about equal in terms of relaxation. Of course the back massage plus a bj is pretty amazing but requires a very giving partner. 

If the weekly experience is done in a way that you feel good, then you should be overall happy. 

I could tolerate once a week of real sex or alternative fun if that was most wife was willing. I am crazy about her - so I would just suck it up and accept that. I admit that since she is the only person ever touches my equipment - that I sure would be looking forward to that experience every week. And I would likely not tolerate having it interrupted by casual life events. 






psychocandy said:


> Yeh. Not great. But wife does offer other services other than full penetrative sex about once a week.
> 
> Her take on this is that she really cant be bothered with sex but this is no hassle for her and she does it for me. Her argument is that ever since I've known her she hasnt been that bothered with sex.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

MEM11363 said:


> If one partner is denying another partners core needs that is not a healthy marriage. 5-6 times a year is profoundly broken if the high drive spouse has even an average drive.
> 
> That frequency almost always means the low drive spouse has a sexual aversion to their partner. And they are putting out the minimum amount to avoid divorce.


If thats the case, too bad they married and did not select the right partner. When I wanted lots of sex, the furthest thing from my mind was marriage, it was sex and thats it.
When I married, I did not marry for sex but made sure I had someone who not only was compatible in non sexual activity but who did not base the marriage on sex.
How sad for those who base a marriage on sex, they are sure to find nothing but disappointment.


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## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

My husband and I work different shifts so it has been hard to find the time. The only time I ever see him is in the morning before I go to work. When he comes home I'm asleep. Last week I texted him to wake me up when he got home because I was feeling amourous. Well, since then he's been waking me up every other night! I guess I can make up the sleep some other time. 

So I'd say we have sex about 3 times per week average. I don't really keep track.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

1-3 times a day at the moment. Going to have to get some hired help if this keeps up  Pray for me guys.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

MarkTwain said:


> 1-3 times a day at the moment. Going to have to get some hired help if this keeps up  Pray for me guys.


you are the keymaster


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## Loving Husband (Aug 3, 2009)

What I want and reality?? Well I could do daily. My wife has the drive of almost daily but her mind often gets distracted and she gets tired so it ends up being 1-2 times a week as an avg.. I think 2-3 times a week is healthy..


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

2-3 times a week with her showing interest thru being more playful and leading would make me real happy


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

okeydokie said:


> 2-3 times a week with her showing interest thru being more playful and leading would make me real happy


I would be highly motivated to either fix it or get moving...


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## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

We've had some strange happenings around the homestead as of late. My husband returned from a trip and since then, sex has pretty much been daily. My first thought was "he cheated on me". And that raised in my addled brain the comment that someone around here made about women never being happy. I'm finally getting the kind of sex I want and right away, I find something wrong with it. 

Anyway, he did need a break yesterday so we took off. And he sounded kind of weezy this morning so I don't know what tonight holds. 

I don't really know how good statistics are on how much sex married couples have per week. I also don't know how useful the information is, anyway. It isn't about what other people are doing as much as it is about if you and your spouse can reach peace on the subject. That's the only thing that really counts.


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## silvernblack (Jul 21, 2009)

psychocandy said:


> You see all these newspaper surveys that make out that everyone is at it 2/3 times a day?
> 
> Whats the truth though? Particularly for people who've been together a while, like 20 years, got kids etc?


I don't even know anyone who's been married or together for 20 years, but I can tell you about my marriage. We both work full-time, I'm 23, he's 35, have a toddler at home...7-9 times per week on average. To be honest, I could live with far less, I just give in when he wants it.


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## silvernblack (Jul 21, 2009)

preso said:


> Good sex and lots of it does not equal good marriage or a good partner/ spouse.
> That is the truth although many will argue with it.... I can only guess they have some growing up to do to realize how it really is.


That is very true, and lots of sex won't prevent cheating either. I can tell you that from experience, since my husband cheated on me.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

silvernblack said:


> I don't even know anyone who's been married or together for 20 years, but I can tell you about my marriage. We both work full-time, I'm 23, he's 35, have a toddler at home...7-9 times per week on average. To be honest, I could live with far less, I just give in when he wants it.


So do you enjoy it at all? Do you find him sexually attractive?


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

silvernblack said:


> and lots of sex won't prevent cheating either.



yep. That too.


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## silvernblack (Jul 21, 2009)

MarkTwain said:


> So do you enjoy it at all? Do you find him sexually attractive?


I think he is very attractive, but I don't enjoy it all that much now. That's because I found out about the cheating only about 7 weeks ago...however before that, I did enjoy the sex.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

silvernblack said:


> I think he is very attractive, but I don't enjoy it all that much now. That's because I found out about the cheating only about 7 weeks ago...however before that, I did enjoy the sex.



I wouldn't have sex with a cheater, you could expose yourself to many STD's... 
not to mention other things that could happen as a result of cheating.
Cheating in my book spells - "BYE BYE seel you in divorce court"


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## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

MarkTwain said:


> 1-3 times a day at the moment. Going to have to get some hired help if this keeps up  Pray for me guys.



I'll do it for minimum wage !!!! LOL.

I must admit up to 3 times a day would be a bit much even for me....


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## gabejoel (Jul 8, 2009)

I have never heard of a daily average...weekly yes lol! I am 28, my hubby is 40 mand we have 18month old.We have sex 5-6 times a week.If we start early in the day we can go twice.My hubby is very exciting to me...i call him my eyecandy! We have been together going on 6yrs.


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## johnluvssarah (Nov 14, 2009)

My wife and I have been married for 7 years together for 11. Up until last month (excluding our first year or so) I was lucky to get it 3 times per week. Last month we had a challenge to have sex for 30 days in a row and we actually made it 32 days. Since then we've only not had sex 3 nights and all 3 of those nights one of us was sick. 

Peak in on our marriage at our blog


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## humpty dumpty (Nov 26, 2008)

Our biggest problem is juggling kids to get free time ..but manage to sneak in sex before breakfast most days and meet for lunch 2/3 times a week and grab what we can at night time  ...
Like to have the children all in bed by 9 so that we get good alone time ... new borns have a way of wakeing just when things start getting heated lol !! .

we do manage to get out alone once a week thanks to my parents ..its a time we both love and value ..I think this helps us to keep things on a intimate level and i getting dam good at telling him what i want lol !! ( trying not to be to demanding lol )


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## HappyHer (Nov 12, 2009)

Three to four times a week is optimal for men's health in regard to male orgasms, but sexual contact should be daily between couple's even if it's just an intimate ten second kiss. I hear often of couples talking about how busy they are with work, kids, etc..., but the bottom line is a person will make time for what's most important. 

Many times when it's the woman that is too tired for sex, it's typically because she feels over burdened and needs to see her mate pitching in to help her. If it's the man that's too busy or stressed, it might be that the woman needs to show him some added respect of his down time. Balance it out to assure you are both pitching in and both getting some rest and relaxation so you are both at a better point to have the energy and desire for intimacy.


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## katie jane (Oct 26, 2009)

In the past it has been 1 a week if i pester 3 times if i got lucky more ... 
Would love him to do more of the chasing !! he works long hours im at home and when he wants to sleep i want him !!.
Had a really good chat saturday so going to put a few things into place see if it makes a difference .


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## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

Will be married 10 years on New Years Day, have 3 young boys (8, 6, and 3 yrs), and we go 3-6 times a week.


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## Millania007 (Nov 16, 2009)

we hv been 2gether for 12 years, in our 30's and we do it 2-3 times per week, and its not enough for me =) I always want more, but 2-3 times per week is a healthy amount, I believe..?


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## Tweak (Nov 18, 2009)

Me and my Lady have been married for 13 yrs and been together almost 16 yrs.
We were together in High School and at that time we had sex every time we got a chance.If we did not have a chance we damn sure made it happen.LOL

Now married its different because of Kids,Work and school.
To add to this stress is Minor to Major health problems.
Fibromyalgia for her is major mood killer.
Scoliosis and Herniated Disc's on mine,I may be facing surgery. 

However when we do have sex,its a blast.I just did ask her about this.LOL She is not one to lie.(Example:I once asked her if she had or ever has "Faked" an "O" with me...She said,"What would I gain by lying about having a "O"?I would always ask if she "came",she would always tell me if she had not,then if she would let me,I would do any and everything to help her achieve it.)

Fibromyalgia really takes it out of a person,how ever I have recently came to grips with the fact that she has resentment towards me,I want to fix these.Most of the resentment towards me is my attitude.Being OCD and Mildly Bipolar does not work good in a relationship.
And yes there is some resentment from me towards her,but I am working on this to because they both go hand in hand,resentment for resentment.I have come to the realization that its easier to change me then her and if I want sex I need to be like a willow and bend in the breeze.

Now the frequency per week?Well see it varies so much.She,with her current problems,has stated Once or Twice a month.
I would say I would be really happy with 2 to 3 times a week.
As I have gotten older my ejaculations have become more like Tapioca Pudding,instead of normal.This is because of waiting for 3 or 4 weeks to have sex.However it returns to normal if I keep the pipes cleaned out.....


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## Commited1 (Nov 13, 2009)

Benn marrried for 7 years, 4 kids, I am 38 and she is 29....frequency depends on alot of things and to give a mean average wouldn't really do the question justice. 

The worst it has ever been has been 20 days and that was only once, when things are really bad it is once per 10 days, when things are a little bad its once a week, when things are ok its twice a week, when things are good its every day and when things are really good its 1-3 times a day. Things are normally either ok or good, sometimes really good, sometimes a little bad, rarely are things real bad and only once were things at the very worst. 

Sorry thats not a straight answer but for as hard as it is to believe that people do it 3 times a day it is equally hard to believe that people do it at the same exact frequency through the course of a single year let alone an entire relationship.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

We are in our 40's, 6 kids, and when my sex drive went up last year, so did the sex & alot more positions & more oral, 4-5 times a week NOW, but when it was lower (last 20 yrs of marraige), Husband never pushed ,he always wanted more but suffered in silence, so in our 20's & 30's -about once a week. So we are not the normal situation. It bothers me now that I was not so ready & willing when he was younger & more in the mood. As men age, the sex drive does too-for some. But it just takes a little working up to get him ready & he is always willing, thankfully. I would be happy with every day.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

SimplyAmorous said:


> We are in our 40's, 6 kids, and when my sex drive went up last year, so did the sex & alot more positions & more oral, 4-5 times a week NOW, but when it was lower (last 20 yrs of marraige), Husband never pushed ,he always wanted more but suffered in silence, so in our 20's & 30's -about once a week. So we are not the normal situation. It bothers me now that I was not so ready & willing when he was younger & more in the mood. As men age, the sex drive does too-for some. But it just takes a little working up to get him ready & he is always willing, thankfully. I would be happy with every day.


some women might think the mans drop is interest is due to age and natural drop in testosterone. i will say, however, my drop in interest is due to my wifes lack of interest in the past several years. i had simply lost interest in getting rejected and feeling like it was sympathy sex when it did happen. so you might want to consider the holding out or your own lack of interest in sex as a major affect on the mans interest. just a thought

i am 48 and i still get very hot for my wife, and since she has begun to finally reciprocate it doesnt take me long to get going


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## Maryjun (Nov 29, 2009)

It is difficult to judge all depends on temperament and a life rhythm. One can every day and for the others and once a week normally. That about me that to me 2-4 times a week quite normally



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## cowboyfan (Nov 15, 2009)

I'm happy at this point with once or twice a week. My wife and I used to maybe go there once a month or less (not by my choosing) but she's beginning to open up just a little and soon I wonder if 1-2 times a week will be enough!


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## Beninyourshoes (Jul 31, 2009)

been married 20+ yrs. Dated in high school, sex was good, but then again when your a teenager, all sex is good.:smthumbup:

Got married young, made a mistake and pissed the wife off and got cut off for 2yrs.  That was a tough time. You will really find out if you want to stay married to that person.:scratchhead:

The wifes sex drive has never been real good. I think there is some underlying issues but have gotten her to talk about it.

Up untill about 8 yrs ago, maybe 3-4 times/month.

At this stage in our lives, I can have sex pretty much anytime I want it, the problem is, I really don't want it. I guess for me, I want her to want me as bad as I want her. Her idea of forplay is 2 or 3 kisses and then come on. 

So to answer your question, maybe once per week. (three kids, I work 60hrs/wk, she works 32 hr/wk.)


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