# What makes a 40+ man "physically" attractive?



## southbound

Realistically; I'm not talking about wanting to rip his clothes off or what makes your favorite star attractive, but in real life, what makes a 40+ man physically attractive?

What would simply make you take a second look and think, "he's a nice looking man." Is it someone who has taken care of themselves physically? A large percent of men I know 40 and beyond have a gut. What if he was didn't?

What about the way he dresses? I notice that slouchy seems in today. Do you go for that or a little nicer?

I see men and women that I think are just as good looking as movie stars, yet they don't get the same attention. Sean Connery got the sexiest man alive a few years ago, but would he be if he were your plumber instead of a star?


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## Mom6547

- Whatever you do with your hair, admit it if you don't have any. Shave it bald. That is super hot. But do NOT comb over. 

- For me, I am sorry if you have the loveliest heart in the world, if you are fat, you are not attractive. Be fit. No body building, just fit. 

- SMILE.

That's me.


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## magnoliagal

My husband is 45 and he's fat, wears nothing but icky t-shirts and jeans that have seen better days. 

He'd be attractive if he'd lose about 30 pounds. That middle age gut isn't appealing. He's got nice clothes from when he lost the weight before (khaki's, polos, nice jeans, t-shirts - but they are all too small now.) If I were dating again I'd pass on the fat guys as I'm thin. I don't care about muscles or washboard abs just don't be fat.

I'm with mom6547 on the hair. I think bald men are incredibly sexy.


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## Enchantment

I am with the others in that I like a man to be fit and trim (no fat) and to exude confidence.


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## southbound

I realize that looks isn't everything, but is the first thing we notice, so if that isn't appealing, then the rest often doesn't matter.

So, how is age 43, 5'9"; hair without comb-over; 175lbs, slightly bulging chest, no six pack abs, but no flab either. I do enjoy lifting weights, but I'm not going for the huge look. The only celeb reference I ever got was from my niece who once told me I looked like Burt Reynolds from the movie he did with Dolly Parton in the early 80s. :scratchhead:

As for the overweight thing, I would usually agree; however there are exceptions, so it's not all about weight. I work with a woman who is in her 40s, is 5'5", and is probably 200lbs; however, it is difficult to explain, but she carries it differently. It's not flabby, it's more firm, and her face is gorgeous. She has a great personality, and when she wears her hair up, she is even more beautiful.


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## Mom6547

southbound said:


> I realize that looks isn't everything, but is the first thing we notice, so if that isn't appealing, then the rest often doesn't matter.
> 
> So, how is age 43, 5'9"; hair without comb-over; 175lbs, slightly bulging chest, no six pack abs, but no flab either. I do enjoy lifting weights, but I'm not going for the huge look. The only celeb reference I ever got was from my niece who once told me I looked like Burt Reynolds from the movie he did with Dolly Parton in the early 80s. :scratchhead:


Burt Reynolds is nasty.

I am such a jerk. I read really fast and say Burt Reynolds and rolly eyes. I have not read other posts. I am sure I am, rightly, getting my butt handed to me on a plate.

For the record, Burt Reynolds is not nasty. His facial hair does nothing for me.

I am so sorry. Ducking head unwilling to read the rest...


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## Enchantment

southbound said:


> So, how is age 43, 5'9"; hair without comb-over; 175lbs, slightly bulging chest, no six pack abs, but no flab either. I do enjoy lifting weights, but I'm not going for the huge look. The only celeb reference I ever got was from my niece who once told me I looked like Burt Reynolds from the movie he did with Dolly Parton in the early 80s. :scratchhead:


Sounds perfect (and I hear you have a place in the country too)! Too bad I'm happily married!


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## southbound

Mom6547 said:


> Burt Reynolds is nasty.


Thanks for the encouragement! I get one celebrity comparison in my life, and it turns out he's nasty. I feel so good that I'm leaving right now to look for a date! :rofl::rofl:


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## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore

This is a good question. The qualities which makes an individual “physically” attractive to another differ so widely. 

My closest friends tease me because the only guys whom I seem to give a second look to lately have the salt and pepper , usually a close cut, hair style going for them. Way different from my Ex, whom I was with for 13 years. His hair cut took all of 5 minutes, which required only clippers with no guards. He did not have a whole lot of options though, he’d already lost most of his hair by the time he was 35 years old. Kind of weird for me to be so drawn towards guys who actually have hair. LOL!!!

One of the reason they tease me, is because those guys are always older than me and sometimes even more than the 8 years to which my ex-husband was my senior. To top all that off, I’m constantly told I look nowhere near 39 years old. It’s just something about those older guys that gets my attention.

Jeans, gym shorts, t-shirts, tank tops, sweats (but not the old school, cotton kind with the elastic around the ankles) are acceptable casual/weekend wear. However a guy also needs some basic knowledge on etiquette and how to dress up. There is nothing formal about short-sleeve shirts, even if they are button down and have a collar. Please, please, please do not wear a tie with a short-sleeve shirt on a date. Soooo wrong! And yes, it happened. I did cut the guy some slack seeing how he'd worn a uniform for a good portion of 25 years. LOL! Oh …. and no “tighty whities”. Boxers and boxer briefs are way more sexier.

The whole washboard abs are not necessary. Fit and healthy enough to enjoy doing outdoor activities is good. Men have the luxury of being able to hide an extra few pounds of weight so much easier than women do.


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## AFEH

Ha! At my age I live mainly on memories. I’m 62, 6ft, 190 lbs and medium size shirts. I really like to fool myself that that woman’s eyes were lingering for at least a nano second, maybe two lol. I find my eyes are around 20 years younger than my age! Damn. Full head of short hair but may just shave it see if it works. Goodness knows what my next woman is going to be like, really trying to keep an open mind.


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## Mrs.G

*Great Topic!*

:smthumbup: I love this topic, because I am a connoisseuse of older men. My husband is almost forty and most people are astonished at how much older he looks than me. I am not even 30 yet. 

I would say that a good haircut, great clothes and intelligence make a mature man attractive. Salt and pepper grey is very sexy and bonus if it is in a style appropriate for his age. I like the classic look; think Hugo Boss and Fred Perry.  

I love an older man who can confidently discuss books, history and current events, as well as be financially stable and independent. Trust fund babies do not inspire respect, neither does a controlling attitude. An older man has to refrain from using his age as a reason to boss me about. I love that my husband values my opinion, instead of playing the age card to suggest I am stupid. 

Trying to act young is laughably repulsive. I hate to see older men in convertables with girls young enough to be their daughter. I met a man off of the Net years ago, who totally lied about his age. He was not 35, he was *55*. I wanted to throw up when I saw the tan skin and white hair, along with the lime green car with the top down. Ugh! Don't even get me started on the 40+ men with earrings, too much gel and backwards caps. 

My husband is 8 years my senior, not 20+ years. He is a calming influence and I bring excitement to his life. :smthumbup:


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## AFEH

Some say half a man’s age and add seven. For me that’s a woman of 38. Wonder if I can pull it off, wonder if I want to pull it off!

Bob


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## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore

AFEH said:


> Some say half a man’s age and add seven. For me that’s a woman of 38. Wonder if I can pull it off, wonder if I want to pull it off!
> 
> Bob


It's all about if you can keep up. LOL!


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## SimplyAmorous

Women are all so very different in their attracting tastes. I have friends who love muscles and shaved heads, I am completely the opposite - I like men really THIN- still got that nice flat stomach going on, no man boobs, and not going bald yet. I LOVE Daughtery & his music, but he would never turn my head. And if they are not going gray yet, another + . (I realize some of this can not be controlled!) Life is not fair, if you go bald & get treatment, it may affect your testosterone levels (& sex drive) , so that would suck also. 

I don't mind a T-shirt / blue jeans /work boots type guy at all. So long as he smells good, his clothes are clean when we go out (though a button up shirt is very nice) , he knows how to take a shower, wear some good deoderant & brush his teeth a couple times a day, I am good.


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## Scannerguard

Well, what works for me is my back hair, chest hair, shaved head and driving around a minivan.


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## Runs like Dog

Dress right. Wear a jacket and a button down shirt when you go out to eat. Wear a good looking pair of glasses. Get a quality haircut. Loose the weigh. At 6' and 185 I am aiming for losing 20lbs by September. Lose the flip flops and backwards hat. Lose the sports jerseys and wifebeaters. Don't wear gold wraparound NASCAR sunglasses. Lose the beard, especially the goatee/Van ****. Wear a watch, a good one. Get some fitness. Be able to run a mile or two or three. No man bags. If you can't carry it in your pockets smoothly, you don't need it. Carry cash. Wear AT MOST one bracelet. Quit smoking, drink in moderation. Be genteel and civilized to your date. Keep an umbrella in your car. Don't take drugs. Improve your vocabulary. Trim your ear and nose hair.


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## Scannerguard

Oh, yeah, the "man purse." I carry around a day planner and that's a chick magnet. . .it has a little pouch on the outside but it's not a man purse.


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## Runs like Dog

The sexiest old guy in the world is Ian McKellen and he's so gay gay guys say "You're gaaaay".

It about 'carriage'.


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## Myopia1964

I'm beginning to think I'm an anomaly, but I'm just not that attracted to men who are conventionally good looking. I am far more interested in intellect. I can be in the presence of two men...one "hot" (in the physical sense) and the other an average-looking (or even goofy-looking) intellectual/nerd, and I'm going to fall all over myself trying to get the attention of the nerd (as long as the nerd's reasonably fit). I actually find it hard to get turned on by men who are good looking but not intellectual. A brilliant mind does it for me every time...it's an honest-to-god aphrodisiac.

I know...I'm an odd bird!


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## pidge70

My SO will be 40 in July. I have to say that I find him to be even better looking now than he was at 23. He was hot as he** at 23 so.....yeah....lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chillymorn

Surprised no mentioned good teeth! good teeth is a sign of good health.


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## Halien

As a guy, I'm surprised that more women don't turn things around regarding their expectations. I know some do, but it surprises me that with men's visual expectations, you'd think we deserve a little turnaround. My wife and I went through pre-marital counseling with a native american, who focused on a committment to mind, body and spirit. Through his guidance, we focused on a committment to taking care of our bodies, our dress, and hygeine. That's why my fat percentage is now less, at 45, than it was then. It was a promise I made to my wife.

On a different note, There are a group of women who have shared offices near mine, who are very vocal about their likes and dislikes. Since they have an open pass to use my conference table in my office for visitors, we chat regularly. Beyond that, I can hear the stories all the time. They even give butt ratings when I buy new slacks, and I think they know I can hear. More than once, a pair is returned to the store. Most are like some of the responses here, like preferring a bald head. Its funny, but I have a very thick head of hair. One of my friends from this group told me, joking, that I was on her fantasy list. Since her husband was bald, although she enjoyed that, she just wanted one time to see what it was like running her hands through a thick head of hair while she ****. I ran away, followed by their laughter. I started avoiding them after that.


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## Mom6547

Southbound...

Have you ever heard the expression, I have egg on my face?


> Burt Reynolds is nasty.
> 
> I am such a jerk. I read really fast and say Burt Reynolds and rolly eyes. It said to me, in my haste, why would Burt Reynolds be attractive.
> 
> I have not read other posts. I am sure I am, rightly, getting my butt handed to me on a plate.
> 
> 
> I did not realize I was saying YOU look nasty as someone said YOU look like Burt Reynolds. (All I really dislike about Burt Reynolds is his facial hair at the time.)
> 
> My apologies. Re posting here because you won't see my edit up thread.
> 
> I am so sorry. Ducking head unwilling to read the rest...


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## LuvMyH

I think Burt Reynolds was done in when everyone found out he was wearing a toupee, wasn't he? Didn't really have to do with his looks. Goes along with the whole comb over or bald thing. Bald is better.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DanF

Scannerguard said:


> Well, what works for me is my back hair, chest hair, shaved head and driving around a minivan.


You got nothin'.
I'm 5'5", 175 lbs, have a skullet and drive a white K-car.
I also usually wear a turtleneck with a gold chain hanging out of it.
Chicks DIG me!
:rofl:


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## Trenton

I don't have a standard attraction profile but I think for me most important would be attitude. I like confidence and shared interests. I am most attracted to dark hair, dark eyes and prefer a guy who doesn't focus so much on his looks but looks put together. Jeans and a t-shirt is fine with me but if we're going out you need to have a nice button down to throw on. Don't be afraid to flirt either. Flirting does wonders for women!


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## Trenton

AFEH said:


> Some say half a man’s age and add seven. For me that’s a woman of 38. Wonder if I can pull it off, wonder if I want to pull it off!
> 
> Bob


I'm 36...think you can handle me?


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## Wrench

Women love shoes, I've noticed if I wear my "good" leather shoes and dress half-decent (like I always do) I get WAY more attention than wearing running shoes.


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## southbound

Mom6547 said:


> Southbound...
> 
> Have you ever heard the expression, I have egg on my face?


I appreciate the apology, but I didn't take it personally. You have always been helpful and i never interpreted any of your comments as mean spirited, so I knew you meant nothing by it. I don't think anyone else trashed you for it, so maybe everyone else thinks he's nasty too. :rofl:


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## OhGeesh

The same thing that makes a 20, 25, 30 yr old attractive. Most people like nice heads of hair, nice tone build, a tan, and nice smile does that ever change??
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## oceanbreeze

my idea of a physically attractive man is: accomplished career=high self-esteem and i think it shows through their stature and smile, fit (no pot belly), no hairy chest, slim and tall is nice, too. clean, comfortable clothes, smells fresh like he just got out of the shower clean, hair or bald (none of that trump comb-over hair! har har har)


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## Runs like Dog

courtesy, respect, charm, delight in you.


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## WhiteRabbit

my husband is in his 40's and I think he's sexier than a LOT of those 20 and 30 something guys out there. 
For me it's the lack of babyface that makes older men sexy. I like them ruggedly handsome with a hairy chest and great shoulders. Seems many younger guys are so soft anymore and if they're not soft, they've got the face of a 12 year old boy. 

An attractive 40something guy will have muscle tone but not TOO much muscle tone...great shoulders,great chest without manboobies,a bright smile with a little scruff on the face,rough hands from hard work,and decent clothes that are clean and well put together. 

I think a lot of the sexiness comes from the inner attitude as well. If the guy is a complete jerk then he isn't attractive no matter how young or old. Sense of humor can make an ugly man look like the hottest guy in the world to me. I've dated guys that my friends thought were not so attractive but I thought they were sexy as hell because they made me laugh.


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## 4sure

Staying in shape, being in shape, not fat.
Kind eyes
nice smile
clean, good hygiene a must
being comfortable with who you are.
acting as a 40 something yo man, not trying to be 20 again. What a turn-off.

I love wrinkles around a mans eyes when he laughs or smiles.


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## bunnybear

- Nice white complete teeth
- Good physique (athletic)
- Well dressed
- Well groomed
- Smells good- yummy
- Successful/educated
- Confident
- Fun
- Knows his age


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## Jellybeans

What makes a 40+ man "physically" attractive? 


It's all about how he carries himself, confidence w/o arrogance, a nice shirt never hurt anyone and good cologne. A gentleman who can be romantic but also be man's man at the same time. 

Come to think about it... none of this is age-specific. Women like men who know their worth and respect women.


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## VeryHurt

* Clean teeth (and ALL of them)
* Clean breath
* Clean finger nails (no nail biting)
* Clean body
* Clean and combed hair
* Clean clothes
* Clean shoes
Height and weight is not as important as being CLEAN !!!!!!!!!


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## southbound

COMMENT and QUESTION #2: I never had any specific characteristics in a woman, it all depended on the individual woman. There was no list of short hair, long hair, big boobs, tall, short, skinny, fat, etc. Sure, I liked them clean, but otherwise, it was an individual thing.

For those of you with the list, is it a die-hard list, or is it just a general guideline? Would you let a few of them go if you clicked with the guy otherwise?

I knew a girl once who said she wouldn't date a guy shorter than her, but she was 6'1". That really narrowed the field. I think you might really be missing something if you passed on someone just because of height.


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## Therealbrighteyes

southbound said:


> COMMENT and QUESTION #2: I never had any specific characteristics in a woman, it all depended on the individual woman. There was no list of short hair, long hair, big boobs, tall, short, skinny, fat, etc. Sure, I liked them clean, but otherwise, it was an individual thing.
> 
> For those of you with the list, is it a die-hard list, or is it just a general guideline? Would you let a few of them go if you clicked with the guy otherwise?
> 
> I knew a girl once who said she wouldn't date a guy shorter than her, but she was 6'1". That really narrowed the field. I think you might really be missing something if you passed on someone just because of height.


Well I'm tall and yeah, he would have to be over 6'2". I wear heels too. If under 6', is he packing a can of Pringles down there?  I kid, I kid.


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## Halien

southbound said:


> COMMENT and QUESTION #2: I never had any specific characteristics in a woman, it all depended on the individual woman. There was no list of short hair, long hair, big boobs, tall, short, skinny, fat, etc. Sure, I liked them clean, but otherwise, it was an individual thing.
> 
> For those of you with the list, is it a die-hard list, or is it just a general guideline? Would you let a few of them go if you clicked with the guy otherwise?
> 
> I knew a girl once who said she wouldn't date a guy shorter than her, but she was 6'1". That really narrowed the field. I think you might really be missing something if you passed on someone just because of height.


Is it realistic to even ask if this can be a die hard list? I'm not trying to be sarcastic, but it seems that most people look for a connection, and not abs, breasts, ect, depending upon gender. Remember, you're talking about the forties, where a large percentage of men and women are married, or have written off marriage for them. My older brother, late forties, is now divorced. His previous wife was much older, but now he's yet to date anyone over 38. He's in great shape and has a good income. I joked that he needed a good beatin' the next time we were together. It's so immature. I'm just not sure that its uncommon. As a guy in my forties, if divorced, I would think about preferences, but I'm a math guy, and wouldn't (a want to end my days alone and (b wouldn't want to use a six figure income as a deciding factor in choosing who to date.


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## Syrum

I like an older man who is tall, brown hair, has blue eyes, like my fiance and is a bit scruffy (manly) looking. 

I don't find really skinny guys attractive nor morbidly obese, but anything in between is fine. I am more attracted to personality, he has to be able to take charge and be manly, also kind and thoughtful. That turns me on more than anything else.


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## TemperToo

I personally don't mind a bit of extra girth, as long as it's not "sloppy." There is such thing as "toned extra." I know, because I have it! 

And ditto the hair thing. Receding or thinning is one thing, but comb-overs are a huge no-no!

And just as a personal thing, I am a SUCKER for nice shoulders. *drools*


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## MarriedWifeInLove

I'm not into the right type clothes or car or job or lots of money.

I find a clean, well groomed man to be attractive. By well groomed, no long fingernails or dirt in them, trimmed moustache or goatee/beard and teeth - a big issue for me. Need to be able to tell that you brush and floss regularly, and they need to shower daily also.

I realize that a lot of people don't have parents that can afford dental care - but bad teeth are an immediate turn-off for me.

If he is clean and well-groomed and meets my appearance of cute - then I don't care what age he is. My husband is pushing 50 and is still as handsome (to me) as the day I met him and he met those requirements on clean and well groomed and still does.


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## Affaircare

See that guy? That's Jerry Garcia--40+ and physically attractive to me, and my Dear Hubby looks a LOT like him (so much so that it's spooky.... :scratchhead: ) 

I find him attractive because I like longer, loose hair--it's manly and free. I like warm, smiling eyes and a face that has some smile lines on it. I love full lips that smile easily. I like a man who is HIMSELF and is comfortable whether he's in a tux or in jeans and a tee. I like a man who smells of sandalwood oil or his own natural scent. I like a man with a BEARD and some hair on his chest, because a woman or child can have a hairless chest! :rofl: I want a MA YUN! I like a man who's not thin and you know why? Because although I can appreciate some physical fitness and caring for the body--when a man it "not thin" he usually has some PASSION for either cooking or eating (or both) and that means he is a man who has the ability to have passion! I like a man who usually wears jeans because that means he's down to earth and not pretentiousness. 

So there ya have it. I think some of my preferences are unusual but one thing I've learned is that the exterior "physical" is just a shell for the amazing treasure inside.


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## Lilyana

The first thing that usually gets me is a great butt, and height. I'm generally not attracted to blondes.. not sure why, maybe cuz I am one?? LOL I don't like the overly hairy man, but a lil hair is nice. And I'm definatly for the no comb over bit! And they have to be CONFIDENT!

But they can be the greatest looking guys.. and when they open their mouth, if they sound stupid.. or just can't hold a conversation. I'm outta there.

Also love a man that can make me laugh.. I'm not talking giggle.. I'm talking full out belly laugh with tears and all. Any man can make me laugh like that for awhile.. I'm hooked.. even if he is blonde! LOL


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## Jellybeans

I think men in their 40s are very sexy. They have experience & been through a lot and have wisdom.

Mmm..maybe next time I will date a little older... The oldest I've ever dated was 5 yrs older...


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## Lilyana

I think I'm with you on that Jellybeans!.. I'm thinking 6-10 years older than me


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## WhiteRabbit

don't you know there are a bunch of 40something guys reading this thread thinking, "uh helllooo i fit ALL these so why am i not getting nookie???!!"

*gigglesnort*


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## Runs like Dog

Lilyana said:


> I think I'm with you on that Jellybeans!.. I'm thinking 6-10 years older than me


Got to say my FiL's 2nd wife was 2 years older than my wife. And I'm pretty sure she's gay.


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## Jellybeans

^ LOL. What does that MEAN?!


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## Undertheradar

Ladies, Im sticking around this thread, and taking notes.
Do you think we start to lose it at 52?

I have the balding, short cropped hair.
I'm into boxing, and cycling, so I'm a fit 6' 200lbs
I dress nice.
I'm a funny guy, and spontaneous.

Yet, my wife is running like the wind!!


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## WhiteRabbit

that's bc your wife is one of those ladies who always wants what the other gal ordered and can't be satisfied with what she ordered on her own.


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## COGypsy

WhiteRabbit said:


> that's bc your wife is one of those ladies who always wants what the other gal ordered and can't be satisfied with what she ordered on her own.


LOL--that makes relationships sound like Happy Hour. I just had this total mental picture of a bunch of women sitting around a bar table with big pink martinis and small plates with men on them, everyone taking a "taste" off of each others plates like they were tapas!! :rofl:

Okay. I'm twisted. I admit it.


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## WhiteRabbit

COGypsy said:


> LOL--that makes relationships sound like Happy Hour. I just had this total mental picture of a bunch of women sitting around a bar table with big pink martinis and small plates with men on them, everyone taking a "taste" off of each others plates like they were tapas!! :rofl:
> 
> Okay. I'm twisted. I admit it.


:lol: isn't it true though? lol a LOT of women(and men) act like they're at a restaurant snooping on what everyone else ordered wanting to sample the whole menu rather than sticking with what they know is perfect for them.

GREAT mental image of the teeny men on plates "um yes waiter I'll take tall,dark,and handsome with a side of short,stocky,and cute ending with blond,dumb,and mute"


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## Runs like Dog

Jellybeans said:


> ^ LOL. What does that MEAN?!


10 years is pushing the envelope. My FiL's wife #2 was 25 years younger than he was. I can't even imagine what they ever had in common. She had never been married before, no kids. To me, it seemed that she was marrying for security, financial and otherwise. And that she was pretty clearly a lesbian who tolerated this relationship with an old man. Whatever it was it was strange.


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## Runs like Dog

52? pshaw. I'm 52. In 25 years, the ladies will outnumber me about 2:1 so anyone w/o a Foley catheter will be HAWT!


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## Halien

WhiteRabbit said:


> don't you know there are a bunch of 40something guys reading this thread thinking, "uh helllooo i fit ALL these so why am i not getting nookie???!!"
> 
> *gigglesnort*


Actually, we're wondering why women assume that we look so old....??? Seriously, I've always tried to eat right and exercise, so I haven't begun to see these wrinkles people speak of, and my hair is unchanged from my teenage years. Took my wife furniture shopping Sunday, and the first salesperson said it was so cute that she brought her son (wife's gray). We chose a different salesperson to complete the sale. I'll admit that at 45, I'm sick and tired of being told that I have a babyface.

While I'm not big like a linebacker, my wife told me at 21 that I would always stay lucky in the nookie department if I kept my shape from weightlifting, so we own our own gym. She likes the lean, muscled look, and is pretty thankful. I got fat, though. I think I was a 29 waist when we married. Gravity has left me wearing 32 to 33 nowadays. 

I just feel old, though.


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## COGypsy

WhiteRabbit said:


> :lol: isn't it true though? lol a LOT of women(and men) act like they're at a restaurant snooping on what everyone else ordered wanting to sample the whole menu rather than sticking with what they know is perfect for them.
> 
> GREAT mental image of the teeny men on plates "um yes waiter I'll take tall,dark,and handsome with a side of short,stocky,and cute ending with blond,dumb,and mute"


"Oooh Sally! THAT looks _delicious!_ Can I try a taste?? Here, do you want to try some of mine???

:rofl:

(oooh I need some sleep  )


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## rider03

Ok, so now every attribute of every man on the planet has been described as desireable to at least one person. So it must be all in my mind that us guys aren't seeing the results! Hahahahahaha!

I'm clean, hygenic, dress decent, good job, respectful...all those things. My biggest problem is how to seize the moment when you make that eye contact with a lady somewhere....grocery store, library, bank, a mom at a school play, wherever. Happened to me this weekend in the grocery store (and it only seems to have that certain feeling a few times a year) and I STILL can't get her off my mind. And will probably never see her again. I should've said SOMETHING besides just hello!!! She looked me dead in the eye and smiled from ear to ear.

Stupid, stupid, stupid! I'm no good at this after 20 years of marriage.


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## WhiteRabbit

rider03 said:


> Ok, so now every attribute of every man on the planet has been described as desireable to at least one person. So it must be all in my mind that us guys aren't seeing the results! Hahahahahaha!
> 
> I'm clean, hygenic, dress decent, good job, respectful...all those things. My biggest problem is how to seize the moment when you make that eye contact with a lady somewhere....grocery store, library, bank, a mom at a school play, wherever. Happened to me this weekend in the grocery store (and it only seems to have that certain feeling a few times a year) and I STILL can't get her off my mind. And will probably never see her again. I should've said SOMETHING besides just hello!!! She looked me dead in the eye and smiled from ear to ear.
> 
> Stupid, stupid, stupid! I'm no good at this after 20 years of marriage.


were YOU that cutie I saw in the grocery store this weekend??  

kidding but I DID see a guy like that this weekend and he was adorable and gave me a huge grin...I'm married not dead so I couldn't help but smile back. Thankfully he left me alone bc the state of mind i'm in right now I'm a little too open to temptation.Not cool.


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## rider03

WhiteRabbit said:


> were YOU that cutie I saw in the grocery store this weekend??
> 
> kidding but I DID see a guy like that this weekend and he was adorable and gave me a huge grin...I'm married not dead so I couldn't help but smile back. Thankfully he left me alone bc the state of mind i'm in right now I'm a little too open to temptation.Not cool.


Ha ha ha! Are you a cute redhead in northeast Florida? She wasn't wearing a wedding ring and had a tattoo around her ankle. Hmmm....


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## WhiteRabbit

rider03 said:


> Ha ha ha! Are you a cute redhead in northeast Florida? She wasn't wearing a wedding ring and had a tattoo around her ankle. Hmmm....


nope darn! I'm a brunette


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## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore

Sadly, when a good-looking 40 plus year old guy is single, you may also need to explore reasons as to why? 

A good guy friend asked for my opinion (e.g. his wardrobe) and then let me do the whole Dr. Frankenstein routine on him. He showed up to do me a favor today by picking me up at the dealership. I left one of my vehicles there to have service done on it. When I saw him I thought, “Damn, he does look pretty handsome.” At which point I had to remind myself, how incredibly unemotionally available he is. Looks are not everything you guys!


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## WhiteRabbit

TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore said:


> Sadly, when a good-looking 40 plus year old guy is single, you may also need to explore reasons as to why?
> 
> A good guy friend asked for my opinion (e.g. his wardrobe) and then let me do the whole Dr. Frankenstein routine on him. He showed up to do me a favor today by picking me up at the dealership. I left one of my vehicles there to have service done on it. When I saw him I thought, “Damn, he does look pretty handsome.” At which point I had to remind myself, how incredibly unemotionally available he is. Looks are not everything you guys!


ahh yes...sadly they are not everything.But they sure help when you wake up next to one of them and their cuteness is the only thing keeping their head from meeting the business end of a frying pan


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## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore

WhiteRabbit said:


> ahh yes...sadly they are not everything.But they sure help when you wake up next to one of them and their cuteness is the only thing keeping their head from meeting the business end of a frying pan


So true!!!!! :lol:


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## Runs like Dog

WhiteRabbit said:


> ahh yes...sadly they are not everything.But they sure help when you wake up next to one of them and their cuteness is the only thing keeping their head from meeting the business end of a frying pan



One of my dumb dogs is like that. Cuteness is the only thing that keeps us from sending him back to the shelter. Otherwise he's totally useless.


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## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore

Runs like Dog said:


> One of my dumb dogs is like that. Cuteness is the only thing that keeps us from sending him back to the shelter. Otherwise he's totally useless.


So ..... Is that to say we can apply the same general principals to both men and dogs? LOL!!! :rofl:

Hey, he stated it first!!!


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## Runs like Dog

Or age...hey if you're 20 or 30, you have nothing to say I want to hear. So stay young dumb and hung, pick up a drink and strike a pose.


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## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore

Runs like Dog said:


> Or age...hey if you're 20 or 30, you have nothing to say I want to hear. So stay young dumb and hung, pick up a drink and strike a pose.



I like that line! Going to use that one next time.


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## rider03

TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore said:


> Sadly, when a good-looking 40 plus year old guy is single, you may also need to explore reasons as to why?


What about when a not-so-good-looking guy in his 40's is single???? Ha ha ha! But hey...my counselor said I am going to be a "great catch" for some lucky woman!

Seriously though...men can be single for reasons not so bad. Like recent divorce. But I agree, long-term single men in their 40's is something to pay attention to. Same for women, right?


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## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore

rider03 said:


> But I agree, long-term single men in their 40's is something to pay attention to. Same for women, right?


Yep, same goes for the women. Lord only knows why we women continue to pick screwed up men over and over again. I'm just teasing! Yes, a woman can be flawed, the same as a man.


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## Runs like Dog

So you're worried they're gay? I'd be more concerned that they're unmarriageable because they've never had to compromise while living with someone else.


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## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore

Runs like Dog said:


> So you're worried they're gay? I'd be more concerned that they're unmarriageable because they've never had to compromise while living with someone else.


Whether or not a 40+ single man or woman would be gay is not a primary thought of mine. My foremost thoughts now are, “I wonder how screwed up that individual is to have remained unmarried this entire time?”


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## Runs like Dog

Maybe not screwed up. Maybe just really inflexible. Married people are pretty screwed up too.


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## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore

runs like dog said:


> married people are pretty screwed up too.


amen!!!


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## rider03

TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore said:


> Whether or not a 40+ single man or woman would be gay is not a primary thought of mine. My foremost thoughts now are, “I wonder how screwed up that individual is to have remained unmarried this entire time?”


Me too. I've perused online dating sites and anytime I see a person my age listed as "never married" I click on next. Especially if they also have no kids. I want the next person in my life to have had those same experiences so we can relate better. And I wonder why they never married. Hard to teach an old dog new tricks, ya know?

It's been my experience (with single moms I know) that a lot more moms than dads choose not to get involved with anyone seriously for years and years after a divorce. Seems they just focus on raising their kids and then start getting interested in dating. I don't see how they can go that long without someone. The lonliness would kill me. Got to be around grown-ups at some point. And some of these women act like kids. Like how you can tell a person who's been a teacher all their lives because they talk to adults the same way after so many years.


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## WhiteRabbit

Id like to revise my answer. what makes a 40's+ man physically attractive:

-he doesn't lie(unless I ask the dreaded "does this make me look bloated?"question)
-he doesn't cheat
-he doesn't screw his employees
-he has clean,pretty teeth
-he wears clean clothes
-he has a job and is ambitious without being a total pr*ck about it.
-he has a decent self esteem with no self destructive tendencies


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## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore

WhiteRabbit said:


> Id like to revise my answer. what makes a 40's+ man physically attractive:
> 
> -he doesn't lie(unless I ask the dreaded "does this make me look bloated?"question)
> -he doesn't cheat
> -he doesn't screw his employees
> -he has clean,pretty teeth
> -he wears clean clothes
> -he has a job and is ambitious without being a total pr*ck about it.
> -he has a decent self esteem with no self destructive tendencies


:iagree: You go girl!!!!


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## Therealbrighteyes

Can we add hung like a can of Pringles?


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## franklinfx

Damn we got some ladies on the prowl around here:smthumbup: I hope you single guys are sending out some PMs. I mean co mon theyre practically writing it in neon lights IMREADYfor someaction!!!:smthumbup:


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## heartsbeating

Quiet confidence; eye contact that says he knows what he's about and can show you a thing or two; and the ability to demonstrate grace. 

Most people find a person that is well-groomed (this is subjective) as attractive - for me one of the most attractive features is someone who is at ease within themselves, which should not be confused with being apathetic.


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## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore

Feel I must add another comment here. While walking through OSH today, this guy was heading straight in my direction. He appeared to be pretty good looking .... that is .... until he spoke. As he passed by me, he uttered “Beautifulllll” in that kind of creepy way. Dude!!!! I'm in yard/gym type clothes. Sadly he would have gotten a much better response from me if he said “Good afternoon,” or even just gave me a nice smile. UGH!!!

Ohhh ..... and also, definitely not a turn on if a man has a closer shave on his legs than I do. e.g.; The guy standing in front of me at checkout line in Coscto today. LOL!


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## marrid4life

southbound said:


> Realistically; I'm not talking about wanting to rip his clothes off or what makes your favorite star attractive, but in real life, what makes a 40+ man physically attractive?
> 
> What would simply make you take a second look and think, "he's a nice looking man." Is it someone who has taken care of themselves physically? A large percent of men I know 40 and beyond have a gut. What if he was didn't?
> 
> What about the way he dresses? I notice that slouchy seems in today. Do you go for that or a little nicer?
> 
> I see men and women that I think are just as good looking as movie stars, yet they don't get the same attention. Sean Connery got the sexiest man alive a few years ago, but would he be if he were your plumber instead of a star?



Haay this ole man has no gut, and im 44yrs old right now. I can send some pics or just go to my FB and request to add and you can see a pic of me in my photos with my shirt off. My FB id is [email protected]. But i work out alot but not too extreme its a combo of staying off the white sugar stuff and cross training.


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## marrid4life

WhiteRabbit said:


> Id like to revise my answer. what makes a 40's+ man physically attractive:
> 
> -he doesn't lie(unless I ask the dreaded "does this make me look bloated?"question)
> -he doesn't cheat
> -he doesn't screw his employees
> -he has clean,pretty teeth
> -he wears clean clothes
> -he has a job and is ambitious without being a total pr*ck about it.
> -he has a decent self esteem with no self destructive tendencies


OMG is that brad pitt for you, sorry i dont fit that profile more like a bruce lee (haha)


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## WhiteRabbit

brad pitt does absolutely NOTHING for me.


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## marrid4life

humm interesting???


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## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore

I must have “Please try to f*** me” written on my forehead these past few days. Creepy guy in another store today. 

Long story short, college age looking kid wanted to come home with me. Swear I’m not exaggerating! I was in the gardening section at WalMart. After he initiated a brief hello, how's it going introduction, he then stated how he could go with me *‘right now’ *and help me with my project. Ewe!!!! Not!!! I replied, “Thanks, but I’m a do it yourself kind of gal.”

Seriously? He will eventually get so much further with a gal (not me because I doubt he realized how much older I was than him) if he said something like, “Hey, let me give you my phone number and if you decide you would like some help, call me up.“ 

Going to credit that one up to young, dumb and full of ……. well …. you all know.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno

Nice. Not ACTING nice. But nice, genuinely so.
Everything else follows.


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## Therealbrighteyes

WhiteRabbit said:


> brad pitt does absolutely NOTHING for me.


Mr. Depp does though. The hottest 45 year old man on the planet. Why? It isn't because he is "built" physically, it is because he is his own man. He doesn't pretend to be something he is not. He owns himself.


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## options20

southbound said:


> Realistically; I'm not talking about wanting to rip his clothes off or what makes your favorite star attractive, but in real life, what makes a 40+ man physically attractive?
> 
> What would simply make you take a second look and think, "he's a nice looking man." Is it someone who has taken care of themselves physically? A large percent of men I know 40 and beyond have a gut. What if he was didn't?
> 
> What about the way he dresses? I notice that slouchy seems in today. Do you go for that or a little nicer?
> 
> I see men and women that I think are just as good looking as movie stars, yet they don't get the same attention. Sean Connery got the sexiest man alive a few years ago, but would he be if he were your plumber instead of a star?



if he takes care of himself and has his body in shape as if he were younger imo. He'd be more attractive than guys my age. I actually tend to think guys are more attractive beyond 40 like within the 35-55 range.

But that's just my preference personally.


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## pidge70

3yr old Zombie thread
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## treyvion

southbound said:


> Realistically; I'm not talking about wanting to rip his clothes off or what makes your favorite star attractive, but in real life, what makes a 40+ man physically attractive?


What about if you did want to be "rip his clothes off" fine, what would it take? If the level extended beyond a movie stars phsyical body, that's fine.



southbound said:


> What would simply make you take a second look and think, "he's a nice looking man." Is it someone who has taken care of themselves physically? A large percent of men I know 40 and beyond have a gut. What if he was didn't?


Yeah many do. Those of us who have to be out there, know that you cannot have one. 



southbound said:


> What about the way he dresses? I notice that slouchy seems in today. Do you go for that or a little nicer?
> 
> I see men and women that I think are just as good looking as movie stars, yet they don't get the same attention. Sean Connery got the sexiest man alive a few years ago, but would he be if he were your plumber instead of a star?


I heard about a man who walked into a bank and made one of my female lady friends jaw drop. It was his physique, his phisod, his dress and the way he moved. I think up front, that mystery and that they haven't seen you before or know all your business makes it hot. If they do know all your business, it's better to be a guy who is a successful single, than one who has been made sexless or is celebate. 

No matter how godly women say they want men some time, their panties do not get wet for a celebate man. They get wet for a man having success in bedding women.


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## LVF

> I see men and women that I think are just as good looking as movie stars, yet they don't get the same attention.


When I the title, my answer was: brains.

Then I kept reading and my answer added: it is whatever makes under 40yo attractive long term - takes care of himself as a normal person (no need to be metro), kind, not self-centered.

Then I read this sentence and I went back to the first answer: brains. Those good looking ones either chose to be alone or they don't impress much on a non-physical level. 

I don't mean you have to be an intellectual or a degree. I think it is more about the way a man reflects about life, how to deal with problems, how to spend his free time and live interesting life experiences with the small details. I would crave his emotional intelligence and imagination, for example.


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## Tango

Laugh lines, greying hair, signs of maturity, nothing I prove.


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## MegaSquanto

Myopia1964 said:


> I'm beginning to think I'm an anomaly, but I'm just not that attracted to men who are conventionally good looking. I am far more interested in intellect. I can be in the presence of two men...one "hot" (in the physical sense) and the other an average-looking (or even goofy-looking) intellectual/nerd, and I'm going to fall all over myself trying to get the attention of the nerd (as long as the nerd's reasonably fit). I actually find it hard to get turned on by men who are good looking but not intellectual. A brilliant mind does it for me every time...it's an honest-to-god aphrodisiac.
> 
> I know...I'm an odd bird!


*Physique*
There's hope! I'm 46 years old, 5'6", 162 pounds, losing just enough of my hair for it to be thin on top (recently shaved it all off, and the reaction wasn't too bad at all - may have to do that as my regular haircut). My goal to to reach 145 using this workout (on my way to the gym in about an hour from now).

*Attire*
When I'm not wearing a short-sleeved golf shirt, I'm wearing one of these with these pants (and shoes).

*Books*
I strive to read a book per week; topics ranging from mathematics/biology/computing/most-things-tech to philosophy (ranging from the classical Stoics through the debate between Eckhart Tolle vs. Anthony Robbins' "roads to happiness").

*Job/Career*
Although I don't have a "career" to speak of, I have had the same job for 21 years. The base is about $68,000, and I will hit the magic number of $75,000 this year with OT. As always, I'm bucking for a promotion, this year it may happen - I'm finished with a Javascript app that saves the organization a lot of money, I'm on a project programming the intranet website with ASP.NET, I'm the Webmaster of that same site, the Sharepoint Developer on our Sharepoint site, AND my iPhone app is just about ready for the iTunes App Store.

Where am I on the hotness scale so far?


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## LBHmidwest

His porsche, corvette, mercedes or ferrari seems to work from what I've seen.


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## treyvion

LBHmidwest said:


> His porsche, corvette, mercedes or ferrari seems to work from what I've seen.


And if you aren't going to give credit to the outer image such a car makes for a person in THIS WORLD, what about give credit to how it makes YOU FEEL.

Not to be seen in it, but to be driving such a fine vehicle feels great in comparison to driving a "normal" car. You will be happier.


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