# Outspoken sex expert says monogamy is not natural



## CantBelieveThis (Feb 25, 2014)

Interesting article, I do see the point in living together w someone else for rest of your life can really increase the odds of infidelity or another big screw up.... But i dont agree with all she says... I don't think my DNA runs my entire life and decision making... 

https://metro.co.uk/2018/07/09/sex-expert-says-not-natural-make-love-person-7694491/



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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Monogamy is not natural, it's never been, it'll never be. 
If humans were monogamous by nature we would not be here discussing the issue, because it would be a non issue for us humans.

What there is in terms of us as biological/social beings is what have from a genetic and social point of view evolved as acceptance to ensure our genetic reproducibility and not spent the time and effort on somebody else's progeny. 

Males and females have their own agenda as to how to bear to fruit the survival of the offspring, which as we can see varies from culture to culture, but with some fundamental basics:
Females: insurance of being provided and the male not abandoning her and any offspring.
Males" insurance that the progeny is genetically theirs.

In today's world where in certain societies that is socially and economically not a strict play any more we can see it's effects.

But yes, no matter what a lot people want to believe, being monogamous is not how we humans evolved. That's a romantized and idealized way of trying to see relationships. For tens of thousands of years that though never played in humans consciousness as it is now.


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## OnTheRocks (Sep 26, 2011)

Monogamy is natural for about 7 years, until the kids are big enough to help gather food and start learning to hunt. 

Male lions kill their rivals' offspring when they hook up with a new chick. At least we're a little more civilized than that.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Humans as a species are not monogamous, but do tend to pair bond. If the bond is good, it will probably last. If it isn't, one will wander or leave. Monogamy is a natural path for some people, who are either conditioned to it or benefiting from the relationship sufficiently to make monogamy worthwhile, versus the risks. Various forms of non-monogamy are natural for others who either aren't conditioned to it or see greater benefits to a different relationship model.


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## Tatsuhiko (Jun 21, 2016)

I've seen this argument before. By the same token, buying things is unnatural. If I see someone cooking a piece of meat, isn't it "natural" for me to just run up and take it when I'm hungry? In a way, I suppose. In fact, I could hit him over the head and take the rest of his property too. 

But I don't. Because the benefits of living in a cohesive society goverened by laws outweighs my need for a single meal. Part of that cohesion is rooted in family units and the promises made between mates. 

Humans are social animals and acting as part of a society is natural and instictive. Monogamy is natural.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Who cares. She looks like an old camgirl by the way.

I am trying to figure out her qualifications besides she likes to take duckface pictures and writes for some blog no one has heard of?

Sounds like she is a sex expert the same way Ron Jeremy is. 

"Ron Jeremy says marriage is not natural."


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## Mrs. John Adams (Nov 23, 2013)

Like many things...monogamy is a choice....a conscience decision. Whether it is natural or not is really irrelevant. I find I don't agree with a lot of so called experts....and really don't care what they think...they like to sell books


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

Using a toilet bowl is not natural either and yet we have brains that allow us to rise above our baser instincts. We should strive to be better than our genetic programming.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

My biggest gripe with this site is the frequent assertion that:

The vow to forsake all others is absolute and unconditional,
While
The vow to love - which is the first vow - has nothing to do with sex

I find this combined viewpoint ludicrous as it implies that monogamy is an unconditional obligation uncoupled to any responsibility.

Monogamy - IMO - is as much responsibility as obligation. That doesn’t imply sex on demand. Nor does it mean that you can let yourself go physically or hygienically. As doing so violates the first vow. It simply means that - if your partner is a decent sort whose making an effort, you can’t pretend that sex is unimportant and therefore optional.





CantBelieveThis said:


> Interesting article, I do see the point in living together w someone else for rest of your life can really increase the odds of infidelity or another big screw up.... But i dont agree with all she says... I don't think my DNA runs my entire life and decision making...
> 
> https://metro.co.uk/2018/07/09/sex-expert-says-not-natural-make-love-person-7694491/
> 
> ...


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## VermiciousKnid (Nov 14, 2017)

This type of drivel is always written by pseudo intellectual snake oil salesmen. It's utter bull****. People who can't live up to a moral standard try to convince themselves and others that no one can so being immoral is all fine and dandy. The truth is it isn't fine and dandy and humans are biologically wired to pair-bond.


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## jamiemf (Jul 10, 2018)

"Natural" = Animal. Make your own choice on what you want to be.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

sokillme said:


> Who cares. She looks like an old camgirl by the way.
> 
> I am trying to figure out her qualifications besides she likes to take duckface pictures and writes for some blog no one has heard of?
> 
> ...


Yes, I must say that i would rather trust somebody like Dr Ruth than "Bimbo with Bear."


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## syhoybenden (Feb 21, 2013)

sokillme said:


> Who cares. She looks like an old camgirl by the way.
> 
> I am trying to figure out her qualifications besides she likes to take duckface pictures and writes for some blog no one has heard of?
> 
> ...


:iagree:

Like the old saying "Opinions are like as*holes .... everyone's got one."

Anyways, who cares what old Trampolina Von Schtupp's opinion is?


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

Internet personality says if you vow to be faithful, keep it in your pants. Articles written by idiots will not excuse cheating.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

syhoybenden said:


> Like the old saying "Opinions are like as*holes .... everyone's got one."
> 
> Anyways, who cares what old Trampolina Von Schtupp's opinion is?


I see you have an opinion! 0


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## Tatsuhiko (Jun 21, 2016)

Articles like these are just pseudo-scientists trying to push an agenda. In their quest to endorse hedonism, they're missing the bigger picture. They'd look at a male rat eating its young and conclude that cannibalism is "natural" among mammals. They're missing the fact that humans' "natural" behavior has evolved in such a way as to fit into a social model that is even more necessary for our survival. We've made cannibalism unnatural because it would destroy the social structure. Our social nature instinct trumps our baser instincts. For humans, being law-abiding is more natural than acting like an animal. It is natural for us to want to punish those who break the law, and that's why you'll see very harsh treatment of cheaters in the CWI forum.


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## VermiciousKnid (Nov 14, 2017)

jamiemf said:


> "Natural" = Animal. Make your own choice on what you want to be.


I hear many cheaters and cheater advocates espousing this "well, the animals do it." First, only some do it. Many others pair-bond just like humans. Second, I remind them that many animals also eat their own sh*t and/or eat their own babies. We're not animals in the wild. We're supposed to be intelligent beings. I'm never going to compare my behavior to an animal in the wild unless I'm making a point that I did something wrong or stupid.


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