# Living on the edge! grrrrrr



## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

I guess this is how its gonna be.....

My stupid H, I've pretty much had enough of this crap. For the past few months I've pawned stuff just to buy food for my kids. I am always on the brink of tears and owe so much money out because of my idiot H.

No food in the fridge.
I have no gas in the car.

I live on the ****ing edge all the time scrambling to find meals for my kids. I've been living like this since te beginning of May. My youngest daughter can't come home because I can't feed her!!!

I called him this morning asking him to give me some money to get some food and gas so I can be with both my kids. It is now 7pm and I'm crying because I miss my youngest! I started a job recently and do not get paid until friday. He owns a business and averages $20,000 per month. He is in debt but has more resources than I do, he comes home eating fast food every night and it smells great.

He said he'd give me a lump sum of money to help me get back on my feet but I haven't seen a goddamn dime! That cheap ******* is going to have to pay me to leave this house!


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

Any chance a lawyer could get something out of him? How about social services? 

That's just wrong. By punishing you, he's hurting the kids! (((*** HUGS ***)))


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

He is an awful man !!!


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

call your boyfriend. see if he has some food.


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

voivod said:


> call your boyfriend. see if he has some food.


give it up


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

Dress your kids badly and yourself, go to this workplace and 
ask him to give you some money. Dress so badly everyone notices you and ask loudly 
embarass him badly. His co-workers will never see him the same.


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## marriagehelp12 (Apr 8, 2009)

I don't agree with PRESO, don't do that to your kids to prove a point. Why don't you have access to his money to spend as needed??? I don't get that, what he earns you get a peace of that is a big part of marriage................get a divorce that is sick about the kids....and you will get a percetage of his 20K per month he earns regardless of his debt.


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## Sandy55 (Jun 3, 2009)

Just find a Catholic food bank. They'll stock you up.


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## Conflicted (Jun 24, 2009)

preso said:


> Dress your kids badly and yourself, go to this workplace and
> ask him to give you some money. Dress so badly everyone notices you and ask loudly
> embarass him badly. His co-workers will never see him the same.


lol, that is a funny idea :lol:


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## marriagehelp12 (Apr 8, 2009)

FebStarts - then her H and your father are a couple of sick twisted individuals cause being a guy, I can only imagine doing something like to ANY person


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

Veronica Jackson said:


> give it up


for the sake of the kids...and i'd have thought you'd noticed...i don't give up easily...those that have pandered to you sicken me. i believe you reaped what you sowed...but maybe i'm wrong. i'm wrong dozens of times a week.


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

voivod, it saddens me how wrong you are about me. If I bother you that much, stay out of the threads I create. You do not know me or my situation. It seems you just post to bait me because you obviously do not like me. I'm asking you please to give it up.

He's been this slow for a number of months. He owns his own business and although I stayed at home and took care of the house, the kids and preparing paperwork for his accountant for the business, he acted like there was nobody at home to take care of. 

We now have a house guest and he actually went out and bought some groceries last night. We now have about 20 boxes of Kraft Dinner! He bought some healthy items too. I can't wait to get paid friday so I can pay off the pawn shop debt. I can actually get a bit ahead of the finances.

Preso, nice idea lol. My children have been though enough already. 

Febstars, he has been putting me through hell as for a while he realized he wasn't in love anymore. His behavior got worse the past couple of months and I had to fend for myself. My student allowance stopped and I had to resort to asking him for money like a child. It is humiliating and it still is.


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## feylovelyheart (Jun 13, 2009)

Ooh....How could he do that to you and your kids. What an awful man! He's just being so selfish. If he didn't give you money when you asked him and maybe you should ask your oldest kid to ask money to your H. Maybe he will give it to him/her. 

But I don't know if this is a good idea, at least this was what my mom asked me to when I was a little. My dad is the same like your dad and your H. If he has money, he will keep it for himself. My mom always used her money to buy our food even his. When she ran out of money, my dad won't give it to her even when she asked him. so my mom would ask me and my siblings to ask money from my dad, Most of the time he would give it to us (after we were crying or forcing him to.lol)

I don't know about your culture but in my country children can ask money to their dad even forced him to give them money.


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

veronica, i don't know you. i couldn't "hate" you. 

people who disagree with you don't hate you. just as people who agree with you don't "love" you.

i truly believe you may see there is another side to this story, that you may, in fact, bear some fault. that's an idea that i have not seen you approach yet. that is why i don't back off, or give up.

yes, your husband may be so angry with you that he doesn't give a F&$k what happens to you, including the pain you describe referencing your young ones.

i'll back off, or give up if you'll do me this favor: inventory yourself. what is it YOU have done to make him behave this way. honesty and truthfulness count here. expose yourself to your pandering minions here. give them the real, true picture.

ok, i'll back off now. promise. i'll just observe. enjoy the peace.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

I'm so sorry, VJ. What an awful situation and so hard to imagine someone being this callous to the children's needs. One of our worst nightmares is seeing our kids suffer, so you are living it. PLEASE get them some counseling right away and TRY not to "split" their loyalties, no matter how much you want to do it. It will be worse for them than going hungry. Think ahead, and try to remain neutral on your dh's behavior in front of the kids. I don't think it would be a bad idea to confront him in his workplace ON YOUR OWN--mostly so this situation is not played out in front of the kids. Don't humiliate him, just show up. Tell him you need to speak with him privately or you will say what you have to say publicly. Stick to the facts: I need money to feed the kids. I'm your wife and I'm entitled to it. Remind him to live up to his promise to give you a lump sum. No reason you should have to struggle to feed your kids.

Best of luck, and please keep us posted.


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## martino (May 12, 2008)

Sometimes my frankness turns people off, my own family tells me so. I know no other way, I see things for what they are. Her posts now compared to a week or two ago look better, I haven't been worked believe me.


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

martino said:


> Sometimes my frankness turns people off, my own family tells me so. I know no other way, I see things for what they are. Her posts now compared to a week or two ago look better, I haven't been worked believe me.


okay. fair enough. i did say i'd back off, didn't i? here goes.


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

If you have an opinion, speak it once. If it gets personal, take it to a PM. 

If someone rebuts your opinion, have a reasoned response. Not acting like kids.  I've goofed up once or twice; I'm not immune but I try to do better each time. 

Maybe she did come on strong...but they were her opinions. Maybe she is posting better. I don't have a problem with her posts or (previous) avatar. 

Try to understand what's being said, not just the words used. JMHO


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

^dcrim, thank you. My rebuttal is taken to pm because thread jacking is against forum rules. 

Back on topic.


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

dcrim said:


> I don't have a problem with her posts or (previous) avatar.
> 
> Try to understand what's being said, not just the words used. JMHO


you say YOU "don't have a problem with her posts."

okay, no one had a problem with YOU not having a problem with her posts.

i don't see how a forum such as this can maintain any credibility if there aren't some standards being adhered to. 

such as...

promiscuity came up once way back in this thread. the op was definitively promiscuous, admittedly so by definition. those of us who understand that "words" (your description) are the only level of communication on these forums must maintain the definitions and not re-define them to coddle a poster who feels they have been wronged. sounds kinda harsh buddy, but here, words is all we got.

if i've not been clear, that's my fault. every opinion i've voiced on this thread pertained to the op and her posts. so i don't see any hijacking going on here. because i didn't sympathize with her, that's where we encountered trouble. these forums are meaningless under those circumstances.


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

I totally agree, I don't know if some people are aware of this but my past username was "chikkijaxun". Only those who participated in my past threads actually are familiar with my situation and are less-judgemental and more sympathetic. vovoid, although your response before martino jacked was thoughtful, implying I've been "working" people is completely wrong. 

there is another side to the story....

My husband has been this way for a long time. He had a horrible experience with an ex and took those issues into our marriage. His lack of trust and constantly saying "all women want is money" or "all you women are like that" just infuriated me. I hate his ex for doing this to him. My husband was my world, I respected and loved him with every part of my heart and to have him throw that away reall threw me for a loop. I do what I have to do to emotionally survive, even if it is a casual date with someone with whom I connect. I don't know if "chikkijaxun" threads are still here but read those.

martino, I said what I needed to say to you in a pm. I would suggest you do the same out of respect. 


sisters359, thank you for your supportive words. Living here is has been difficult for a very long time. I don't understand how some men can just throw this all away and disrespect what we had. I was truly dedicated to that man and it hurt real bad. Over the past year I have been seeing a counselor and without that sounding board and this forum, this house would be filled with more negativity than its worth. He did get some food late last night but my gas situation was critical so I had to call him again today, I showed up at his work dressed classy as usual and smiled my best smile greeted everyone and said "thank you so much, I will pay you back this money this friday." He gave me $40 and he will get that back. 

febstars, it is a humiliating experience to have to ask for money. I felt that way today and cannot wait until it I am out of here. He has this way of making me feel like I have to beg for it and he's been like that or a while. Your mother must have been on the verge of tears every time she needed money for the basics (I need a good cry tonight). I just don't understand how people could treat others that way. Sad thing is about this whole thing is that I thought he could change.

feylovelyheart, his patronizing behavior and his sick desire for power that made me want to leave him many times. This is no environment for children, especially girls.


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

Oh yeah, I might add that out of respect...my children are unaware of the casual bf.


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## martino (May 12, 2008)

I'm not smitten with avatar pics here, i've only commented on what i've read that's been written. Words are behavior. That's all any of us can go by here, all of a sudden it's either a personal attack or hijacked thread when one doesn't agree. 

To get back on topic and not hijack the thread, I would like to make the suggestion that until Veronica straighten out her husband, that she ask her boyfriend that she was talking about so much to at least borrow her some money for food until the husband owes up to his responsibility.


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

Veronica Jackson said:


> vovoid, although your response before martino jacked was thoughtful, implying I've been "working" people is completely wrong.
> *vj...only martino know for real if he was being "worked" but anyone who didn't know you had a former nom de plum WERE worked*
> 
> there is another side to the story....
> ...


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

Thank you MizSmith, you've said it perfectly. My H is a perfect a$$ and believe me he almost got jumped as a result of his evil words. Sometimes, people would overhear some of the rap he says to me and just shoot evil looks at him.

vovoid, believe me there is no vindictive evilness happening here. It takes alot of negative energy to drudge that **** up, energy that I cannot have. I am very spiritual when it comes to negative ad positive energy, my aboriginal teachings do not allow me to harbor negative energy as it causes nightmares, evil spirits etc...

Empathy, comfort and understanding of my husband's experience wtih an ex was a personal thing that I never shared on this forum. His behavior as a result that perplexed me was something I needed to have help understanding.

Please, get off the attack already, its obvious that myself and a few others have had just about enough. Some people just can't take adult humor lightly, I guess I have to put up my guard on this one, being singled out is not any fun whatsoever. I had to change my name because I was afraid the H would find out.


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

MizSmith said:


> Her BF is not repsonsible for her or her kids.


no, but she is, at least partially...






MizSmith said:


> You shouldn't take everything so literal...


literal adj. Being in accordance with, conforming to, or upholding the exact or primary meaning of a word or words

on a forum, words are all we have.


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

How about this for some added stress...my H decided to add another one of his friends to stay here. I really feel outumbered now. One of his friends keeps giving me a sympathetic knowing look. I gotta go light some sweetgrass.

happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts.


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

Veronica Jackson said:


> How about this for some added stress...my H decided to add another one of his friends to stay here. I really feel outumbered now.


at your house?


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

Yep.

This is something I said back in February in the chronically sarcastic husband thread:

"He was a loving husband until our house guest came back. His tone changed and it sounded so awful that I can't help but feel terrible afterward. I hate it when he acts that way in front of his friends because I feel defenseless."

Guess what, that same houseguest (R) is back, the other houseguest keeps giving me this knowing look of sympathy. I really liked R alot because he enjoyed, appreciated and praised my cooking. R is a gentleman, I hope he teaches my H how to be one.

As far as food goes, this will be the last time I scramble. 2 mroe sleeps until my first paycheck and I plan to stock my dad's freezer. I work just across the street from his house at the Youth Center and he enjoys the company of me and my children. He almost died last year on June 19 (his birthday) and has been off the booze since. He is my best friend and a well-respected elder, I was absolutely devestated when he almost left us.

My H's mother has cancer, she has been in and out of hospitals for as long as I known my H. He rarely talks about her and recently she took a turn, his sister contacted me to let him know that he should travel to see his mom. He didn't. She's hanging on. The last time we saw her was in March, his mom and I share almost the same birthday. He bought her 2 cartons of cigarettes, what better gift to give a cancer patient. Her doctor strongly advised her to stop smoking.


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