# Who Makes The First Call



## grushim1239 (Apr 13, 2015)

I am going through a divorce. It will be final on Friday. This past weekend, I met a man who is also going through a divorce, and it will be final this week also. We met at a function in a town that neither one of us live in. We ended up spending a lot of time together over the weekend, and I felt like we hit it off. He asked for my number, and asked if it was okay for him to call me. I gave it to him, and he made sure that I got his. Before leaving and heading back home, he told me to call him.

So, here is the question.....do I call him, or should I wait and see if he calls me? Is it okay to wait a couple of days and send him a text asking how he's doing? I've been out of the dating scene for 12 years. I don't want to seem pushy or overbearing.


----------



## moco82 (Jul 16, 2012)

Text after a couple of days if that's what you feel like doing. Treating dating like an exact science with rules and regulations is the surest way to fail.


----------



## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Do you know the exact day that his divorce will be final this week? If so, and if he hasn't called/texted you by then, I'd send him a text about it on that day. Good ice breaker.


----------



## grushim1239 (Apr 13, 2015)

SecondTime'Round said:


> Do you know the exact day that his divorce will be final this week? If so, and if he hasn't called/texted you by then, I'd send him a text about it on that day. Good ice breaker.


Yes, it is Wednesday. That's what my thought was. If I haven't heard from him by then I was gonna text and just ask how he is.


----------



## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

grushim1239 said:


> Yes, it is Wednesday. That's what my thought was. If I haven't heard from him by then I was gonna text and just ask how he is.


Good plan .


----------



## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

grushim1239 said:


> I am going through a divorce. It will be final on Friday. This past weekend, I met a man who is also going through a divorce, and it will be final this week also. We met at a function in a town that neither one of us live in. We ended up spending a lot of time together over the weekend, and I felt like we hit it off. He asked for my number, and asked if it was okay for him to call me. I gave it to him, and he made sure that I got his. Before leaving and heading back home, he told me to call him.
> 
> So, here is the question.....do I call him, or should I wait and see if he calls me? Is it okay to wait a couple of days and send him a text asking how he's doing? I've been out of the dating scene for 12 years. I don't want to seem pushy or overbearing.


Don't fvck him on the first date.. 
Don't give him a B.J. on the first date.. 
Don't even give it up for the 2nd date and even maybe the 3rd..
Don't introduce him to your kids for 6 to 8 months at least..
Don't continue to date him if you fight once a week within the first 6 months..
Don't ask him to move in after 6 months either.. 

Beyond those glaring things I just thought of.. Do what you think is right and fvck this retarded fvcking nonsense of who should call who first or anything else that has some man/woman protocol. 

Women fought for equal rights and equal pay ( yes we can debate this later ).. So here you go, you got it.. So time to put your big girl pants on and make the moves.. Do not let pride or some phantom protocol rule your life and relationships.


----------



## grushim1239 (Apr 13, 2015)

Hardtohandle said:


> Don't fvck him on the first date..
> Don't give him a B.J. on the first date..
> Don't even give it up for the 2nd date and even maybe the 3rd..
> Don't introduce him to your kids for 6 to 8 months at least..
> ...


I like the way you think!!


----------



## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

grushim1239 said:


> I like the way you think!!


Grushim, Let me tell you.. OLD dating is a sad game.. But it's the game we have to play.. 

If you found someone who was honest from the start.. I would hold onto that person for dear life because I'm starting to learn they are few and far between.. 

As much as I won this divorce game with the ex wife.. I get angry I have to deal with this sh!t because of her.. Not something I wanted to deal with at 48 with 2 boys.. 

I am starting to believe the longer someone is single the more morally they get warped.. The more "things" become okay to do.. It's sort of like making excuses to cheat on a spouse.


----------



## grushim1239 (Apr 13, 2015)

Hardtohandle said:


> Grushim, Let me tell you.. OLD dating is a sad game.. But it's the game we have to play..
> 
> If you found someone who was honest from the start.. I would hold onto that person for dear life because I'm starting to learn they are few and far between..
> 
> ...


This definitely is not something I wanted to do at this time in my life (39), but it is what it is! I really do like this man, so I sent him a text this morning. We text back and forth for a little while. 

And for now, I'll just be his friend. I don't think he's as happy about his divorce as I am mine. Lol. If it turns into something more serious, that would be fine too.


----------



## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

grushim1239 said:


> This definitely is not something I wanted to do at this time in my life (39), but it is what it is! I really do like this man, so I sent him a text this morning. We text back and forth for a little while.
> 
> And for now, I'll just be his friend. I don't think he's as happy about his divorce as I am mine. Lol. If it turns into something more serious, that would be fine too.


No one likes paying child support and losing time with their kids.. Even though I'm on the winning end of this I do feel for my ex wife, but I would never let her know I do..


----------



## life_huppens (Jun 3, 2015)

I think it is nothing wrong to test the water. Just take it easy. You both been dealing with difficult situation, and it is understandable to let off some steam. That said, take it easy and do not get yourself into situation you would regret latter. Have fun.


----------



## grushim1239 (Apr 13, 2015)

Hardtohandle said:


> No one likes paying child support and losing time with their kids.. Even though I'm on the winning end of this I do feel for my ex wife, but I would never let her know I do..



The good thing is he has no children, and I have no children with my ex. I have 3 from a previous relationship, 21, 18, & 17.


----------



## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

grushim1239 said:


> The good thing is he has no children, and I have no children with my ex. I have 3 from a previous relationship, 21, 18, & 17.


You will be highly sought after w adult children and him especially with no children.


----------



## grushim1239 (Apr 13, 2015)

Thank you all for the advice and kind words!


----------

