# Update - He Beat Me Up Tonight



## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

I hope everyone had a safe and Happy New Year's celebration. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that 2011 is a hell of a lot better for my family than 2010 was!

Been asked for an update, so here it is.

Hubby doing good. Has not had a drink since he was released from the hospital on Thursday (I've been with him the whole time so I know - before you ask!).

We spent time together on Friday shopping and running errands and he was agitated and I guess it was too soon for him to be out in the crowds (he already has a problem with them). He left one store and sat in the truck and didn't even go into the next one. He said it wasn't me, he just probably should have stayed home, he was stressed.

Something happened (not serious, just wait and read) Friday night that got me to thinking that I may be experiencing a delayed reaction to everything that happened last Tuesday - I will be discussing that with my counselor and in my group on Wednesday.

I woke up around 11:45 pm and noticed that my husband was not in bed. So I went looking for him to make sure he was alright and he was, just couldn't sleep and was in his man cave. I went back to bed and shortly thereafter, before I fell asleep, I saw the hallway light come on so I turned to the door and my husband opened it and walked to the bed (my side) towards me. He didn't say anything, etc., and I got scared and thought he was going to jump me, my heart just fell to my stomach but I didn't say anything. He leaned over, kissed me and said Happy New Year - its midnight and I thought I would wish you a Happy New Year - I said Happy New Year to you and he left the room. I then got sick - nauseated and stomach cramps and spent the next hour in the bathroom.

So I guess I am scared sub-consciously and didn't realize it until something innocent happened that brought it back (it was the look on his face and the fact that he just walked straight to me and said nothing). He has already expressed that he wouldn't be surprised if I was scared of him and I had a right to be. 

I've gotten sick twice more this weekend, so I'm thinking it's time to see my counselor again (I saw him Thursday).

But I just wanted to let everyone know that I was alright (and safe) and things were going as expected. The lumps on my head have subsided but its very sore from ear-to-ear. Also, I've noticed that my abdominal area feels like I've done about 500 sit-ups, and my shoulders ache, etc. Guess everything is settling in on my body from what happened. 

I was wearing a gray sweater when he grabbed me and I washed it today and didn't realize that he had practically torn the arm off and its ruined (and it was new too).

I did not tell him about what I was thinking Friday night (that's best left to the professionals), or that my sweater was ruined, I'm trying not to make it more difficult for him. I can tell that he is extremely stressed about dealing with what he did to me and I'm going to have to give him time, with therapy, to process it.

I go back to work tomorrow and they know what happened - I hope nobody treats me any differently or looks at me with pity - I don't need it - I just want to put this behind us and work on moving forward and making our marriage and each other stronger.

Everyone have a great week and I will keep you posted!


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## chefmaster (Oct 30, 2010)

MarriedWifeInLove said:


> I hope everyone had a safe and Happy New Year's celebration. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that 2011 is a hell of a lot better for my family than 2010 was!
> 
> Been asked for an update, so here it is.
> 
> ...


Thank you very much for the update. ::Hugs::


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

chefmaster said:


> Thank you very much for the update. ::Hugs::


You too!


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

I've been thinking about you. Thanks for letting us know how you're doing! Take care...and *hugs*


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

hi gald to hear form you. glad its been good. sorry you are dealing with the emotions of it all.

tomorrows another day. a better one.gental hugs..


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## danavince (Nov 19, 2009)

After I saw your update, I found and read through the original thread. I am so awed by the support on this site. As a therapist, I understand the importance of emotional support through a time like what you are going through, and while I have participated on this site for a few months now, I underestimated the therapeutic value of these threads. I am just so impressed by the maturity, care and concern of all those that wrote on here. 
I think the posts had a positive influence on a very difficult and painful situation. I am glad for you that you and your husband are getting some much needed help. You may be suffering a little PTSD yourself based on your reaction to your husband, but it sounds like you are in good professional hands and are getting the treatment you both need. 
I just had to comment on the support here. I am so greatly encouraged to know something exists that provides care and support to those who need it. 
Best wishes to all of you in the new year!


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

danavince said:


> After I saw your update, I found and read through the original thread. I am so awed by the support on this site. As a therapist, I understand the importance of emotional support through a time like what you are going through, and while I have participated on this site for a few months now, I underestimated the therapeutic value of these threads. I am just so impressed by the maturity, care and concern of all those that wrote on here.
> I think the posts had a positive influence on a very difficult and painful situation. I am glad for you that you and your husband are getting some much needed help. You may be suffering a little PTSD yourself based on your reaction to your husband, but it sounds like you are in good professional hands and are getting the treatment you both need.
> I just had to comment on the support here. I am so greatly encouraged to know something exists that provides care and support to those who need it.
> Best wishes to all of you in the new year!


:iagree::iagree::iagree:

It was of tremendous help to me the support I received when this happened - I was all alone, no family in the area and the people on TAM became "my family" and my support system as I was trying to deal with what had happened.

I think I may have a little PTSD myself too, I'll take care of that with my counselor.

Thanks again everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## julia71 (Oct 25, 2010)

So glad you're doing a little better. Big hugs! :smthumbup: Keep up the counseling.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

julia71 said:


> So glad you're doing a little better. Big hugs! :smthumbup: Keep up the counseling.


Thanks, I am/will.


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## fatiguedfatherof4 (Apr 28, 2011)

I had posted a similar story on your original link and our story turned out happily (which is rare considering). It's been over 10 years since any form of physical abuse has taken place!! Best hopes from ours to yours!


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