# My Husband seems to not be interested in sex anymore?



## Lee04 (May 19, 2010)

Ok well we have been together for 10 1/2 years and been married for 6 years of the 10 1/2. We have 3 wonderful kids, 2 girls and a boy. In Feb. 2010 i had the iud removed do to some issues with it, and i have not started a period yet or gotten pregnant. The doc is getting ready to put me on fertility pills again (we had to have fertility pills to have baby #2) our sex life has always been GREAT! Until the iud issues started. So now thats is gone, i am trying to get him more into having sex again. He likes different positions and different rooms in the house, so i have been trying that. The last 2 times we've had sex he starts it and after about 3 to 7 minutes he says he's to tired and he's done. WTF it frustrates me so bad, but what do i do? i have started to try and have sex in the morning rather then at night after the kids go to bed, and he never has time. I have also tried to give him oral sex, and it doesn't seem to be working eathier. What do i do? Guys i need your thoughts please! He is ok with adding baby #4, so thats not it. Any positions you can recommend that are good for the guy? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.


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## mom2threekiddos (May 19, 2010)

Well, I would sit him down and talk it out. Ask him why it is he wants to quit after having sex for 3-7 minutes. Im trying to communicate with my husband too about our sex life. I've learned some guys will talk, others dont. I really hope that your husband and mine will open up to us and tell us what they would like when it comes to sex.


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## Lee04 (May 19, 2010)

Thank you i will try that tonight after the kids go to bed.


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## cb45 (Oct 2, 2009)

he may be having problems of one or combo sort:

prostate, n not know it = erectile dysfunctions.

testosterone levels drop as men age.

stress, depression, anxiety, malaise, age related.

yer wgt or body changes?

his wgt or body changes?

need for more intimacy, not just sex.

feeling pressure to perform, successfully.

finally, u may have trained him while u were
having IUD troubles to do w/ less (dunno) sex,
and now u have to retrain the little monkey
once again, which takes time & plenty of 
bananna......eh? lol.

peace-------------------------------------------cb45


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## sallyzfb (May 7, 2010)

communication is very important .you should talk to your husband why he seems to not be interested in sex life.and care for him ,understand him.

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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

Lee04-

It sounds like you have not sounded your hubby out on one very important issue:
Babies!

I'm guessing you want one and he does not! He's crossing his fingers and his legs... That's why he finishes early. You seem to have tried to rail-road him. 

Sit down and ask him how soon he would like to have more kids.


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## Lee04 (May 19, 2010)

Well i did sit my husband down and have a very long talk last night, and he is frustrated by the fact the we are not getting pregnant and that we are having the same problems we did with baby #2. He is going to try and work on it thank you everyone.

DO YOU HAVE A IDEAS ON POSITIONS THAT MEN LOVE?:scratchhead:


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

As much as I like a discussion on positions as the next guy, I think you are barking up the wrong tree to just try new positions out as the solution to his not being into it. I dont' think that's it.

I mean I think it's telling that your original complaint is like the last 2 times he didn't shoot and you are here analyzing him and the situation. I mean. . .wow. . .a whole 2 times - he must be impotent! 2 whole times. . .better run him through some tests. Poor guy.

I agree with the poster above - it's about Babies. Or at least it's a high suspicion

He may be on board with it (or maybe not and is just going along with it) but I'll tell you, one thing I hated when my wife was trying to conceive our second child was making me feel like a sperm donor every 28 days as she timed her ovulation, did the silly mucuos testing and then oh, all of the sudden being interested in sex. She even got obsessed I was masturbating and wasting my sperm. . .made me get tested. . .Lord have mercy.

Yeah. . .sex. . .how about that? You need to have sex to get pregnant. Learned that in 4rth grade. And guess what? People have sex because they are horny and affectionate, not just for propagating the species.

The fertility stuff is for the birds. 

She even went to a fertility doctor for our second. Why, I have no clue because I knocked my wife up within 1 month with the first one. It's not like either of us had a problem.

I am not sure why with 3 kids you are seeking a fertility doctor either. You had kids with the help of a fertility doc in the first place. . okay good. . .then you got an IUD to prevent conception and now that's it's out and you aren't pregnant right away. . .something is wrong. And now. . .your husband isn't cooperating.

Funny how sex is more than just getting a sperm injection, isn't it? And the human body just doesn't do "as ordered"?

We didn't need a medical doctor to tell us the reason she wasn't getting knocked up is that she wouldn't have frequent sex with me - every other day at minimum.

I would say knock it off with all the fertility stuff and stop "trying", just have sex when the mood strikes you and maybe your husband won't go soft as he thinks about his duty to sire a few more offspring.

Just my biased experiences giving a clouded opinion here. Sorry. . .your post brought up yet another bad memory of my pending divorce, LOL. Obviously, this wasn't aimed at you as much as it was at my stb-x but nonetheless, take my bitter statements and extrapolate what you can.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Lee,

I wanted to apologize this morning for last night's post. It more just brought some bad memories with my stb-x and our dysfunctional sex life.

Just don't let family planning in the way of having a natural, normal sex life with your husband.

Yes, babies are the end result of sex. . .I just think men are more focused on the means vs. the ends. 

Good luck.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Scannerguard said:


> Just don't let family planning in the way of having a natural, normal sex life with your husband.
> 
> Yes, babies are the end result of sex. . .I just think men are more focused on the means vs. the ends.


I agree with this :iagree::iagree: I was once more interested in my husband's sperm donation than the pleasure & bonding of the act itself. He took what he could get from me & never once had a problem performing back in the day, but I so much regret not enjoying this time/these moments - but was instead in hot pursuit of babies. I know from our experience, my husband "felt" that and yours may also. ?? 

Just cause he does not say anything means little- if he is the 
quiet type by nature. My husband is one of those types & he rarely shared his thoughts - for fear or upsetting me.


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