# Did you believe you had married your soulmate, and do you still think so now?



## Targ (Dec 13, 2012)

How certain were you that your spouse was the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with on your wedding day?


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## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

Totally and without question -- which is why the magnitude of his deception is so painful. When you really put yourself all in and things crumble around you, it's devastating. Now, I'm not sure what I think about anything at all. Love is risky.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I believe I married one of them, does that count?


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

I don't believe in the entire soulmate stuff , but I know for sure she is the one.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Targ said:


> How certain were you that your spouse was the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with on your wedding day?


For many yrs I used the term *Soulmate* in talking about my husband.....cause I always felt I found mine.... then one night about 4 yrs ago.. I caught this Christian Marriage Counselor on TV ....talking about this concept/belief..... and how it has the potential to HURT many marriages... 

Because when going through a really rough patch, one may start to QUESTION if who they are with = their "Soul mate"....or they missed him or her.... they entertain that their soul mate is still out there waiting to be found... chasing some rainbow... 

Instead of sticking it out & working together for a reconciliation / that hard work needed to find peace & Harmony within the marriage, they are tempted to look outside of it. 

So in this way, the "soul mate" belief can lead one down a wrong path ...

The Beef of that program was...a Marriage is what we put into it, where 2 people give & share lovingly & care about one another...this can be found with MANY people around the globe, also if we loose a spouse, we can find it with another ....compatibility is helpful here....but there is no bonafide soul mates. 

I really enjoyed that program & seen much *WISDOM* in it... 

But still I feel I found mine... he is a "prefect" match for who I am & what we have wanted out of life. I waited till I had that Peace flowing down in my soul ~ before we planned our







.

Neither of us has ever looked back or questioned.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

On my wedding day I was certain. Little did I know all the lies I married... However, I believe this opportunity presents itself for growth - for both my husband and I.

I love him, but I'm not so sure he's my soulmate...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

I never believed in the idea of a soul mate until I met my husband. Now I do. There's a vast difference between loving another person and finding a soul mate like I found in him. 

A soul mate finds joy in your shortcomings instead of a need to help you improve. 

A soul mate "gets" you, sometimes more than you understand yourself. 

A soul mate is all in. They'll give you every ounce they have to offer, and you can't imagine not giving every ounce to them, too.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Yep. He is definitely a soul mate.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

I thought he was until he cheated on me.....after that the whole soulmate thing kinda faded. 








_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

Yes, but I believe that we do not have 1 soulmate in life, rather that we become soulmates by forging a life together. If we choose a partner wisely, one who is compatible with us and meets our needs, then we grow together by balancing our strengths and weaknesses, by forgiving each other, and by bringing out the best in our partner while minimizing their faults.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

I read once that a soul mate is one that shows you the absolute worst parts of yourself. And like SA said it's because of this that many marriages fail. Many never get to the good parts of marriage because neither are willing to put forth the effort to get to it.

But to answer your question yes I believed I married my soul mate and yes I still think he is.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

The theory is that there are many soul mates for people. Finding your twin soul or twin flame is the key. I believe I found mine...I knew it when I first looked at him.


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## Dewayne76 (Sep 26, 2012)

I did believe I married my soulmate. I am not sure if I believe in the whole concept of it or not, but I still believe she is the one. I also agree with the concept of "Soulmate" has a very big potential to be the cause of a lot of confusion in marriages and relationships. The whole "getting in a rut" feeling can easily cause thoughts of "Maybe he's not my soulmate" routine. 

I also believe that even feeling these stong pulls from one another can also have issues. WE ALL can have issues, soulmates or not. I still believe my wife is the only one for me. After her cheating and in the middle of what my counselor says is a pre-midlife transition. She's scared etc and doing things that impose of the theory. 

I still love my wife. I still want to repair our relationship. I know that she can do better and I promised to support her and stand by her no matter what.


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## JediG (Nov 9, 2012)

It makes me feel like a total cheeseball, but I have always believed that my husband is my soulmate. Nothing else could explain the instant connection and pull towards him the moment I saw him, and he's told me that he felt the same. There is just no other way that a guy could have looked at my fat, greasy, dorky, seventeen-year-old self and not have been instantly repulsed unless there was some sort of a further, spiritual link between us


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## heavensangel (Feb 12, 2012)

I felt it when I met him and KNEW it when He included our sons (call them ours since in every sense of the word except DNA he is their dad) in His marriage vows (we wrote our own - his were two pages long Lol). and Yes! I still know it when: 

We finish each others sentences; Say out loud what the other is thinking; We even have a connection @ long distances - He calls from work (travels 3 wks @ a time) at exactly the right moment I need to hear from him. That still amazes me!!! 

I don't believe being 'Soulmates' means everything's always smooth sailing.... I believe with a Soulmate, when 'rough seas' happen you both know exactly what to do to help the other reach the other side.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

If by "soul mates" you mean something mystical, two halves of one soul, predestined to be with one another, one and only type of thing then I'd have to say I don't believe in that kind of soul mate because it's right up there with Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and unicorns. 

For me "soul mate" is someone who has a profound connection with me because of chemistry and personality, but isn't necessarily fated to be with me. That's how I feel about my husband. Given the number of people on this planet, there are probably a number of people who could have been a soul mate to me had their paths crossed with mine. It just so happened that in my 20s my life intersected with one of them because we lived on the same continent. 

When I was younger and had a much more romanticized view of relationships based on reading too many romance novels, I used to believe in one soul mate for each person, but I really didn't know much about love back then. Also, the idea of a single soul mate discounts the idea that a person could fall in love with more than one person in a lifetime.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

Targ said:


> How certain were you that your spouse was the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with on your wedding day?


I was completely positive that he was and still is the man I want(ed) to spend my life with. He is a great husband and like everyone, we have our rough patches, but I always want to be with him no matter what the situation is. 

I don't necessarily believe in soul mates, just as SA described it, as there is that possibility to find more than one person whom you can love. I just happened to find a man who I am very compatible with and I love him to death.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Coffee Amore said:


> If by "soul mates" you mean something mystical, two halves of one soul, predestined to be with one another, one and only type of thing then I'd have to say I don't believe in that kind of soul mate because it's right up there with Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and unicorns.
> 
> For me "soul mate" is someone who has a profound connection with me because of chemistry and personality, but isn't necessarily fated to be with me. That's how I feel about my husband. Given the number of people on this planet, there are probably a number of people who could have been a soul mate to me had their paths crossed with mine.


This is EXACTLY how I feel. So I couldn't really vote in your poll.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

I don't believe in soul mates, I think there are many compatible partners that could become lifelong spouses. Yes I believed my ex was compatible and I think we could have grown old together, which is why I chose to marry her. She probably felt the same or similar at one point too, but she changed her view somewhere along the road. If she hadn't checked out, cheated and asked for divorce, I would still be vested in the marriage. So I voted on 1.


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## stritle (Oct 4, 2010)

wouldn't have even understood the concept of soul-mate when i got married, but i did think she was the girl for me.

now, not really.
too different on many levels and some things i hold as major core values and admirable traits, just aren't the same for us.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Yes, and yes.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I did not vote because you do not have the option that for "Soul mates do not exist".

There is no such thing as a soul mate. There are many poeple that any one person could be extremely compatable with and love.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> I did not vote because you do not have the option that for "Soul mates do not exist".
> 
> There is no such thing as a soul mate.


That's like saying there is "no such thing as God". This is an issue of belief. You don't believe in soul mates, but that individual lack of belief doesn't negate in and of itself the existence of soul mates.


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## d4life (Nov 28, 2012)

I voted yes. I loved my husband the day that we married, but it was not near as much as I love him today. I was truly blessed.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

I love CoffeeAmore's response!


I don't believe in soulmates either. I think him and I have a special bond, and that that's rare. I also acknowledge various life factors and commonalities influenced us to be a good match. I've learned a lot about myself and he has contributed to the person I am. I believe it's good to be on this journey together and I'm grateful for him.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

For me a soulmate is someone who I can actually share a connection with. In reality it's actually quite rare. Only had 2 people.

But I'm a nutcase so I need women along a certain "wavelength" hehe + I'm picky, so lol


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

I love my wife dearly but I do not believe in soulmates just like I do not believe in unconditional love. Love and marriage is hard work and dedication. If your partner is your soulmate then you wouldn't have to work to stay married. But it is completely obvious to me that if you don't work at your marriage you won't stay married. A good match...yes. Someone who compliments....yes. A like minded spouse....yes. Soulmate....no.


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## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

I don't believe in soul mates, because I don't believe in souls.

But if I did, yes, my husband would be my twin soul. He and I are made of the same stuff at our core, that's the closest I can come to describing how I feel about him. 

If he died, or left me, I would never marry again. I can't imagine I would ever love anyone other than him. Maybe that's what happens when you fall in love so completely at 18.


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## Too Little Too Late? (Sep 2, 2012)

Mavash. said:


> I Many never get to the good parts of marriage because neither are willing to put forth the effort to get to it.
> 
> 
> This is spot on Mavash. Way too many are willing to jump into another boat when the seas get stormy without even thinking about whether that boat is seaworthy. Same sea different boat...is it wrong to hope it sinks?


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