# been married 16 years and he has no connection with me



## mjc21 (Jan 19, 2009)

im going to make this as short as possible, cause there is way to much to write. my husband and i have been married for 16 years, but the last 2 years he felt there was no connection, but he still loved me with all his heart. well now we are seperated for about 4 months now. within those 4 months he met a 20 year girl at work and he want them to be together as b/f g/f, remind you he is 32 years old. i recently found out from her that they were seeing eachother before he left the house.he would lie to me and tell me he was at the gym or helping a friend. i know he was lying to keep from hurting me but the fact that he did and still does. he wrote me this nice but hurtful letter explaining what was going on that he still loves me very much but not the way i wanted him to. we have been together most of our lives i was 14 and him 15. but then he told me he had feelings for this girl and that he couldnt help it. i was hurt drastically. till this day he still has strong feeling for her and nothing for me, he still takes car of me and the kids, but he says he doesnt see anything for us, but he would always through you never know what might happen. people tell me that he is going through something and to give it time some say that we were too young and missed out on alot. i dont know what to think. things are so hard for me still i have to put on a smile and pretend im not hurting. i still love him even all the lies,i did tell him i couldnt be friends with him because it was too hard for me and everything seemed do normal to me like we were together again. i didnt talk to him for a few days and i text him and said i have to be friends that i needed to if i couldnt be with him.he basically said no, that he was giving me false hope that he will stay away. and he will get the kids once in a while.we talk now okay but i know hw has these feelings for her oh yah she doesnt want anything to do with him as she says, he went jealous crazy on her about some guys and when she wouldnt have sex with him he was also upset to, she is still a virgin and waiting till marriage. he didnt believe her. omg so much i can keep going.. i just want some opinions on what everyones thinks ty


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

I am sorry to hear you are giong through this. It does sound as though he intends to move on and even if it doesn't work out with her and decides to come back, be very careful. If you take him back with open arms and don't address the fact that he lied to you and was seeing another woman, he will likely do it again if another woman catches his eye.

You need to stay in contact for your kids, but otherwise don't be needy or available as a friend. Work on yourself, do things with friends, start enjoying yourself without him. Building your own confidence will help you to feel more independent and strong so you don't settle down the road with him or anyone else.


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