# Why Do They Get So Mad?



## tylerismylife (Nov 7, 2008)

I have been with my hubby for 6 years. 2 of those years we have been married. We went through the fighting staged LONG before we had a son and got married. But it has seemed to creep back up. But I am not the one starting these fights. I am a laid back girl and I can deal with stress on such a level no one ever know when I am upset or stressed unless I say something. 

Well, anyway. For the last month he has been getting mad at me about stupid things. Like, I told him he wouldn't put plastic in the microwave, he got so mad. And he was making dinner one night and I asked how much longer it was going to be, (he had been cooking for 2 hours alread), and he got mad. It takes me 45 minutes to cook, depending on the meal. Or when our bedroom wasn't clean, he flipped out on me, so I just shut up and went in there and cleaned the HELL out of the bedroom. Mind you we have a 2 year old son that gets into everything and I can't go in our room without him messing with everything. But he got so damn mad about the state of the room, (which wasn't bad at all, couple of laundry baskets in the way where he was walking.) Just so much small stuff like that.

I ask him if everything is okay and he says yes but then he get's mad at me. He treats me like I am worth nothing. And if I say something he says I am being dramatic. What do I do? I can't talk to him without being judged. I can't talk to anyone I know because they turn the conversation from my problems to their own problems. I feel like I am in a love less marriage.

It is sad. I can tell you my husbands daily routine. He is a home body! He gets up at 6am, goes to work, comes home at 4 pm, gets his PSP and grabs 2 beers and sits in my sons play room with him and play his video game, eats dinner and watches tv, then goes to bed at 9. SAME THING EVERYDAY!

Why do people get so mad about little things? I don't. It is a waste of time.


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

even though routines can be just that, routines. they lack challenge and competition because its a routine and you know your routine.
i had the same disagreement with my H last week over cooking. i use up 2 hours less of gas . LOL.

but the fact is he tried and you simply making a comment rather than accepting the cooking he was doing just threw him of course.

stuff like that happens with my H, but i just walk away and leave him to it. 

can you ask him to take you out as a couple or as a family. 
normal routines get up, then work dont change. 
but can you initiate change when it comes to a day of that you both might have.


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## Guest (Nov 7, 2008)

Your husband and I are very similar in our behaviors. You have to hit him hard enough with the truth of what its doing to you before you reach the point where you dont love anymore. He HAS to seek counseling and HAS to know how severe the ramifications of his actions are. I'm 99% sure my wife is done with us, after 16years of marriage, because I was just as abusive with nearly identical routines.

You said "I feel like I'm in a loveless marriage". It's exactly what my wife says today. Fast forward your life and realize you have to wake him up now or this will only get worse.


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## cesolomon (Nov 5, 2008)

Don't feel like you are alone!!!! He might be having a tough time at work and he doesn't want you to know. When my husband would get like that, I would start putting little notes in his pockets so he would find them when he got to work, or if he takes his luch, in his lunch bag. Just telling him to have a good day and that I loved him. Then he started leaving me little notes. Just small things like that. If he won't talk to you, write him a letter and leave it where he can find it. Tell him how you feel. And if that doesn't work, then just shock the hell out of him and give him a reality check!!!


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

cesolomon said:


> I would start putting little notes in his pockets so he would find them when he got to work, or if he takes his luch, in his lunch bag.


what a good idea. i think i'll use it.


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## *Aceso* (Oct 25, 2008)

If it's stress maybe he needs to talk to someone. He needs to learn how to deal with it.
But to me it sounds a lot like what my husband was like for a long time (but he never cooked ) and in the end it turned out he is suffering from depression. Ask your husband if he's willing to go to the doctor.


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## kicks45698 (Nov 8, 2008)

Wow....sounds JUST like what I am going through. I wish I had some answers for you since I came here for some myself. (((HUGS)))


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

tylerismylife said:


> Why do people get so mad about little things? I don't. It is a waste of time.


When i was emotionally removed from people and life I never used to get mad about little things, or anything for that matter. and i was like you, i thought people who got so worked up were wasting their time. 

But now it seems like i get mad about a lot of things. Usually its just frustration, pent up emotions, and really a lack of awareness on my part. And quite frankly, im just tired. 

I wouldnt really say its a waste of time to get angry. Emotions are not a waste of time, they're a teaching tool to help one understand what's going on in one's life. It is counterproductive to stay angry and not learn from it, but its important to understand it.


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