# Separated since Oct- he has someone else



## upsetinnh (Jan 27, 2013)

My husband and I have been separated for a couple of months. Within 2 weeks of our separation I found out that he already met someone. He introduced her to my kids (18 and 20). He brought her to his Christmas party. He sleeps over her house.....

He is my high school sweetheart. Together for 22 years. I'm so hurt right now. At this moment I feel so much anger and I just don't understand how he jumped into this relationship. He told me he wasn't cheating, etc with her or anyone. He now refuses to talk to me and is 100 percent that he wants a divorce.

He was violent and an angry person in our marriage and while it's probably for the best that I'm not with him.....I'm hurting so badly and I just can't seem to let go even though I want to and need to. My emotions get the best of me to the point where I can't function and I will just sleep, cry, or get angry at him.

I also don't understand how this person start a relationship with a married man who is very recently separated. I can't wrap my head around it.

Has anyone else gone through this and do you have advice on how I can work on letting go??

Thank you


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## mama2five (Dec 29, 2012)

Im going thru something similar,you can read my post. Like you I am struggling to let go even tho I to know that I NEED TO. You may never be able to wrap your head around it. But you will be ok. Do the 180 and stick to it. others will more than likely give you advice to. Best of luck.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

If you believe he met her 2 weeks after your split, I have a bridge to sell you. 

Cheaters will do this to either spare their spouse of the pain or to try to keep their wholesome image (and that of the AP). Most of the times it is the latter, given that they are most concerned about themselves. Bringing her out two weeks after the separation is rude and shows that he is not very smart. You can't see it because you're in it but I'm sure other people are thinking he already knew her. Some of his friends or coworkers will know. 

You need to know if I'm right before you deal with letting go. You need to know the truth.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

He was cheating with her before you two split up.

You say that he was abusive and violent with you. At least you do not have that in your life anymore. You seem to not really care much about this and more about the affair. The abuse/violence should be #1 on your list of concerns. Have you considered getting counseling for the abuse/violence. You need to find out how to make sure you never end up in this sort of relationship again.

From here on out treat him according to the 180 (see link below). And file for divorce ASAP. Get child support and spousal support in place as soon as you can. If he wants a divorce, give it to him with all that comes with it.


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## Goldfinch (Jan 22, 2013)

I agree that the abuse and violence are the priority. You will be much better off without him, but of course you feel hurt, it's been 22 years of marriage with two children (I get that - mine are 22 and 20). I'm so sorry you are going through this.


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