# Women only. When do younwant it to get physical?



## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Hypothetical. Of course. Remove your current life. hypothetically. You are single, 28 years old and it is today. 

You go out with a man and feel it. This is not love at first sight but he definitely is very attractive and has potential. He is not rich or famous. has a decent job etc. You met at some place that has a reasonable chance of a relationship etc.

When do you want it to get physical? Assume "I love you" happens At week 10 and exclusivity happens at week 5. No one else knows when you started doing the horizontal hula.

Why the question? Saw a blog that said most women want to start getting physical the second date. Seems faster than what I woulda thought.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

What's getting physical? Kissing, cuddling or full on sexual contact?

I would slowly increase physical contact the more i got to know him. The more I liked him the more touchy feely I'd be ( and faster).... but that's just me. 

I think this would greatly depend on the woman... some women aren't touchy/affectionate ever, some women hate sex... others will do anything and everything after seeing you for the first time across the room at the post office or is that just in penthouse forum??


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## Blonde (Jan 7, 2013)

You are married- with children at age 7 and 10- too young for it.

Why are you so curious to research this?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I assume that by "getting physcial" you mean having sex. 

I cannot give a number of days, weeks, months, years that it would take.

What I will say is that when I was 28 and younger I dated a lot. I certainly did not jump in bed with the guys on the second date. There has to be a special connection and two dates is way to soon to know if there is that special connection.

Oh, and I'm HD. But I do have self control.


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## WomanScorned (May 8, 2011)

Second date????? Sheesh. A little too soon I think. For me it would be a matter of weeks, at least. I need to get to know someone a little better than that.


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## SoStrong (Dec 25, 2012)

Well I had sex with my now husband on our 2nd date. LOL Seriously he's only the 2nd person I've had sex with and I was also married to the first one. I guess I'm just saying every situation is different. I don't think you can put a "time" limit on when to be intimate. jmo


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

Well it depends on the circumstances but if we were single and we both felt the attraction then why wait at all

I don't play games - if I want you and you want me what's the big deal?


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## NelsonTrouble (Jan 5, 2013)

Average time in weeks to have sex??? Hmmm I would think that it would be different to most people in many different situations. 

At that age, I dated and I would say that many people I went on multiple dates with sometimes over a few months and it never lead to sex. Others I almost knew right away that sex is what I wanted from the other person but wouldn't act on that impulse until I had spent enough time with them to know they were not in a relationship, abusive, a liar, thief etc. you get my point hopefully. 

As for my now husband it was our second official date when we first had sex but we had known each other for about 6 months leading up to dating.


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## daviomaron (Jan 18, 2013)

You are married- with children at age 7 and 10- too young for it.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Women should understand it's not the amount of time or the number of dates, but the concentration of it. Say, a rate of 1 to 2 dates per week, some communication in between, then I would say after about 8 dates.......

But, what's interesting that women should understand is that if the sex isn't that forthcoming, there could be something playing in the back ground....... as I learned. A guy could be holding back sex because he's multidating or holding out for another woman....

I know some women like to think that if you're dating a guy and stuff isn't happening, it must be because "he respects her as a person" dream on I say......


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## BjornFree (Aug 16, 2012)

Male here, but I have to tell you that when I was dating( 1970's), it would be three dates or boom, next.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Male here also.
What used baffled me when I was single and dating was how some women would have sex on the first date and other didn't. 

Then there were those who didn't have sex on the first date with guy X and then later they would have sex with me on the first date.And sometimes we didn't even date , they would simply invite me over to their place and things progressed from there.

This is what I have found out now that I'm older and married;

Regarding the question on women and sex , chemistry , biology and timing is everything.
There are certain times of the month during a woman's cycle,when her hormones are raging and she would have sex with a man she just met if he looked appealing in her eyes, they had chemistry and the timing was right.
But most times , " the stars are not aligned " so the * default * settings kick in.

When I was just 19 yrs old I met a woman who was almost twice my age at a football game. I noticed she was staring at me, and I maintained eye contact went across and started chatting her up. Found out that she owned a business , was just divorced and had a 2yr old daughter.
we left the match and headed for a drink , she drove her car and I was a passenger. I didn't own a vehicle as yet. She did most of the talking, but I could sense something she was not saying, that is, she wanted sex. She talked about herself , her accomplishments etc. She started " boasting " about where she lived.
I knew that if I wanted to have sex with her, this was my chance. I simply told her I would love to " see " her place .After a little to and fro she agreed.
We reached her place , had a glass of wine and started making out, but she was still holding back.
She stopped , and told me its time for me to leave. I said ok. She said it late , she needed a shower before going to bed.
again I seized the opportunity and offered to rub her back in the shower.
She laughed, walked off and came back into the living room wrapped only in a towel, and threw me a towel.
We had sex that night.
We agreed to meet for lunch the next day and had sex again at her home. This went on for about two weeks, until she put a stop to it. 
We never even kissed after that initial two weeks of sex. But we would talk on the phone etc. we both agree that there could be no relationship.
I asked her what happened during those two weeks, she simply said that she felt for it and there was mad chemistry between both of us at the time.

There are no real rules regarding when and how long after the first date they have sex , and even if there are, chemistry biology and timing often forces some women to break them.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

BjornFree said:


> Male here, but I have to tell you that when I was dating( 1970's), it would be three dates or boom, next.


 I was in my teens inthe 70s. the message that I got was good girls didn't........

I did in the spring of my senior year, but with my bf of 9 months.....


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

weightlifter said:


> Hypothetical. Of course. Remove your current life. hypothetically. You are single, 28 years old and it is today.
> 
> You go out with a man and feel it. This is not love at first sight but he definitely is very attractive and has potential. He is not rich or famous. has a decent job etc. You met at some place that has a reasonable chance of a relationship etc.
> 
> ...


If he's a good man,kind hearted,funny,and makes me smile when I think of him then I'm prone to physical stuff before the I love you's come up.I'll make out on the first date and I won't know when I'd want sex with him until it hits me.Could be the second date or it could be the ninth or tenth date.


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## galian84 (May 7, 2012)

I don't feel comfortable sleeping with somebody until we are exclusive, and there's a good chance of the relationship becoming long-term. My current boyfriend waited 4 months (about 1-2 dates/week), and my ex waited over a year, but we were long distance.

But I say as long as you're both comfortable with it, do it when you both feel ready =)


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

galian84 said:


> I don't feel comfortable sleeping with somebody until we are exclusive, and there's a good chance of the relationship becoming long-term. My current boyfriend waited 4 months (about 1-2 dates/week), and my ex waited over a year, but we were long distance.
> 
> But I say as long as you're both comfortable with it, do it when you both feel ready =)


We think alike.
Personally, I don't feel comfortable having sex while dating unless it's a real exclusive relationship. 
Even in the relationship, some time has to pass before I feel completely comfortable. 

But it's what works for each couple.


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## dgtal (Jun 11, 2010)

Ask this question to a prostitute to see what you get.
Read Womens Infidelity by Michelle Langley. amazing
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Indyuke2 (Jan 10, 2013)

I just turned 30 and just married. But when I was still in the dating world I noticed that it's not so much the number of dates that girls use as a gauge, it's the amount of time and attention spent. Of course that's assuming there's chemistry, but generally time + attention = affection.

Today's attitude I think is somewhat different than 30-40 years ago, when girls were expected to be "good" and not give it up... they wanted to do the forbidden. Today even though parents say otherwise to their children, the view seems to be to have sex when it's right for you, so of course girls (and guys) are not so eager to actually have sex, lol.

In my experience if all the stars are aligned and it's not just about sex but about a budding relationship between two young people who spent a fair amount of time together, that sex would not happen before a month went by. But I would be surprised if they dated for 5-6 months and did not have sex even though they had no objection to it happening. As a side note, kids 16 and younger tend to be far more "prudish".

Older people tend to have sex much more quickly after meeting each other. When I was younger, my friends and I used to always be very surprised when a newly dating couple 20 years our senior would have sex after only 3 weeks or something.

A lot of kids are religious, and you couldn't get them to have sex with each other even if you stuck them in a dark room and paid them $1,000 each.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

I cant imagine being "single and 28" ..never happened to me..LOL!!I was snatched up and was married at 20 ...Anything after that is /was cheating..

IF I was single now?I would probably not find anyone as worthy as my husband...I imagine myself sometimes in an "old age home"..maybe I might meet a man that well ..got left too..by death..maybe..we would crawl under the covers together..but the sex thing is more than "penis in vagina" ..and I learned the hard way..

I think I'm going to be like both my grandmothers..Its too late for me to be a stripper..LOL!!!Been there done that..Easy sex is...disatisfying..


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

OH and I got physical at 14 LOL!!!! :rofl:


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

lovelygirl said:


> We think alike.
> Personally, I don't feel comfortable having sex while dating unless it's a real exclusive relationship.
> Even in the relationship, some time has to pass before I feel completely comfortable.
> 
> But it's what works for each couple.


I'd also include myself with this type of thought regarding sex. 

I made my husband wait several months before we ever had sex and I asked him to get tested first(he did before, but I wanted him to again) before we did anything sexual. He had sex before with a previous long-term girlfriend and I had never had sex before. I wouldn't give it up to just anyone because I felt(and still feel) like sex is something special shared between two people who love each other. 

Maybe I am old fashion, but the second date is *way* too soon.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I would be disgusted with myself if I slept with a man who was not deeply in love with me & showed me this through his actions over a period of time, building our trust and vulnerability with each other....Having him be the one I run to with my everything, my best friend.....accepting all of me, the good, the bad, the ugly....with much talk of our future together...coming from his lips. 

That's how I view Love & intercourse. 

While getting to know a man, I could see me being very touchy feely affectionate...it would also be very hard to restrain...But I know I'd want to hold back. When I give my body completely, that means my heart is laid bare and I DON'T want it trampled. No fusion till I knew he was MINE...and it was supposed to be "forever". 

If he didn't see that dance of "taking the time" getting to know ALL of me before jumping into bed and allowing something to grow that could be meaningful... then I would know he doesn't view life, sex & love as I.... and best for him to move on to another. 

Old fashioned, this I am.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Anonymous07 said:


> I'd also include myself with this type of thought regarding sex.
> 
> I made my husband wait several months before we ever had sex and I asked him to get tested first(he did before, but I wanted him to again) before we did anything sexual. He had sex before with a previous long-term girlfriend and I had never had sex before.


Ha ha!
My wife made me wait......
FOREVER! and she asked me to go get tested too...


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