# Strange Erection Issue



## sgreenberg (Jul 9, 2013)

Odd thing happened yesterday. The wife was nice enough to give me a BJ, and she kind of sprang it on me out of a nowhere. Oddly, though, I didn't get 100% hard. I maybe got to 60-70% erection. She doesn't give BJs too often, but this was appreciated and I did finish despite my lack of full erection.

Today, on the other hand, I put the moves on her and she was down for some sex. I had no problem getting and staying 100% hard. And I have never had any issues getting hard for sex before (though I've had less than super-strong erections for HJs in the past). 

It seems like I needed more warm up than I got on the BJ. I also find that I really don't start getting hard until she starts getting into it, i.e. my penis kind of waits until it's got a sure thing before it commits to getting hard.

For reference, I'm in my late 30s, in OK shape, and I do smoke cigars now and then. That said, I'm 99% sure this was NOT a physical problem. In fact, I even got a pretty solid erection later last night, 12 hours after the BJ (just watching TV, and I didn't do anything with it).

So, am I alone in this? Any of you guys ever have trouble getting an erection for a BJ/HJ or something, but no trouble getting it for sex?


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

sgreenberg said:


> So, am I alone in this? Any of you guys ever have trouble getting an erection for a BJ/HJ or something, but no trouble getting it for sex?


Opposite for me. 

BJs rock.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Once means absolutely nothing. Twice isn't even a trend.

At your age your T is starting to decline. It could be you are getting to where you need a bit more time to get going sometimes. Some men have a decrease in skin sensitivity as they age, so they need more stimulation.

Are you using porn? If so, you should stop it totally. It may be affecting your performance. I am not opposed to porn on principle, btw.

Had you been drinking alcohol? Alcohol is a definite performance reducer. As you age it gets worse.

Is there a history of heart disease in your family? Diabetes? Cancer or other major medical problems in relatives who were under 50 or 60?

Time of day, if you're tired, if you've had a tough day at work, etc, can all affect your performance. Don't worry at all about one or two times if you don't get fully hard. Most likely there's nothing for you to worry about.

If the problem recurs several more times, go get a good checkup from your doc. Tell him what is going on so that he knows what to screen for.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

If your having erection strength issues, smoking, drinking and poor health do have an effect on your circulation.

Smoking makes a noticeable difference on my erection.


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

Very possibly a psychological issue - as she doesn't give you head very often...that could have caused some performance or other kind of anxiety or apprehension. I am generally unable to come from BJ's.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Healer said:


> Very possibly a psychological issue - as she doesn't give you head very often...that could have caused some performance or other kind of anxiety or apprehension. I am generally unable to come from BJ's.


You can get over it, and it can even become a primary form of sex.


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## WayUpNorth (Dec 14, 2013)

I'm much stronger now than I used to be. When I was a teenager, I could squeeze my **** with all my might and not put a dent in it. I can now mash it flat between my thumb and finger.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Maybe when you put the moves on her, you get hard easily because you're already horny, already been thinking about sex for a while, and are already ready to get going.

However, when she puts the moves on you "out of nowhere," you need some time to switch gears and warm up.

It works that way with women, too.


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## FormerSelf (Apr 21, 2013)

Perhaps because the BJ felt like a more intimate act...particularly when people are somewhat facing each other. That can sometime be less "exciting" when there isn't any wild pounding going on.... A theory anyway.


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

treyvion said:


> You can get over it, and it can even become a primary form of sex.


Agreed. I've always looked at it as a form of foreplay, myself.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Healer said:


> Agreed. I've always looked at it as a form of foreplay, myself.


I used to also. Also I didn't think I could orgasm from it.

After having a girlfriend who loved to do it, and was progressively getting better, it changed my perception.

No longer scared to orgasm from oral, actually looking forward to it, and realizing oral can be so complete you want to just lay down and go to sleep.


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

sgreenberg said:


> Odd thing happened yesterday. The wife was nice enough to give me a BJ, and she kind of sprang it on me out of a nowhere. Oddly, though, I didn't get 100% hard. I maybe got to 60-70% erection. She doesn't give BJs too often, but this was appreciated and I did finish despite my lack of full erection.
> 
> Today, on the other hand, I put the moves on her and she was down for some sex. I had no problem getting and staying 100% hard. And I have never had any issues getting hard for sex before (though I've had less than super-strong erections for HJs in the past).
> 
> ...


Well, I'm an old geezer but for me the independent variable is how long it's been since the last trip around the block.


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

OP, the same thing has happened to me, although I am about 15 years older than you. It sometimes takes time to warm up. As long as it's not a trend, and from what you've said it isn't, then there's nothing to worry about. 

Someone said 37 is too young for T issues. However, men in their early 20s can have T issues. Normally, not a problem, as was said and I agree. If this becomes a trend for you, you may want to get a blood test. 

Finally, I agree with those who said sex is 90% in your brain. My W is hot as hell but there have been times, even when I wanted to, that it took quite a while for her to get me up. Frustrates her, and me. But persistence is the key. In my brain, it also involves suppressing triggers on a daily basis. Adds another dimension to the issue.


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## sgreenberg (Jul 9, 2013)

Wow, lots of great feedback and food for thought, folks. Thank you so much for your responses. They are making me feel much better.

I will certainly mention it to the dr next time I'm in for a check up (which, to be sure, is rare). Still, I am leaning toward the mental side of things, the idea that I do need some warm up time, etc. Age, I'm sure, is also a factor for various reasons. Porn is a non-factor, as I don't view it. 

I'll also be clear that I can finish from BJ and, in fact, did finish on this occasion (even if I wasn't 100% hard). 

I'm also going to agree with the sentiment expressed here that I shouldn't worry much about it. I know that worry is a key issue in and of itself, and I'm just not going to do it. 

Thanks again!


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## chouse2312 (Jan 7, 2014)

Im 25 and have had similar experiences with my wife. Its probably more of an anxiety thing since it was a huge deal to you in a way other than sexual (same boat when it happened to me since I hadn't had one in a while). Less hard for a "sentimental" BJ I guess


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