# divorce busting telephone calls



## Jayb

Just looking at the advertisement.

Boy, it really sounds convincing. But, I'm not sure.

Does anyone have experience with them? Good or bad results.

I have a WAW, determined to leave for no one else, while wanting to remain friends. We have 2 small children. MC did not work as she was disengaged, attending only to support me and my emotions while going through this.


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## EleGirl

I have never called them but hear good things from others who have.

I have read book "Divorce Busters". It helped me a lot.

I'd give it a try.


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## Jayb

currently reading divorce remedy.

I just don't know what to do next after my W (still disengaged) stated yesterday that she has given up on any hope in the M and our MC wants us to work on acceptance of this while working toward the end of our M.

What can I do when my wife and I get along great, are highly active in each other's lives with the children, etc?

Because, up until yesterday, I had been "acting if." Initiating 1 on 1 time by watching movies (we can continue doing this), writing a letter (her response, thank you for a sweet letter), and going on a date.

It's a weird dynamic to actively disengage while remaining close friends. Of course, I want our marriage restored, but, I'm on a path to improve me, regardless. It's been 3 weeks. I want her to see the changes in me to spark her curiosity.


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## EleGirl

Oh good grief, you ran into one of those counselors.. the ones who call themselves marriage counselors but they are really 'how to end your marriage counselors'.

Try calling divorce busters.

Another good one is Steve Harley of Marriage Builders.

You want someone who is pro-saving a marriage.. not pro-moving on.


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## Jayb

EleGirl said:


> Oh good grief, you ran into one of those counselors.. the ones who call themselves marriage counselors but they are really 'how to end your marriage counselors'.
> 
> Try calling divorce busters.
> 
> Another good one is Steve Harley of Marriage Builders.
> 
> You want someone who is pro-saving a marriage.. not pro-moving on.


No, we saw a Marriage Friendly therapist who prioritizes saving the M. She tried and tried to fight my wife to bring her to some commitment in order to start working. My wife resisted each time and refused to budge.

Our MC told me that since my W was so steadfast and disengaged, that it would be impossible to get through to her to even open up and have doubts.

My W agreed to MC as a way of showing me she cares about my raw emotions going through this. I always struggled with whether she was "just going through the motions" and she admitted to it a few days ago.

Now, I'm not sure if I should pursue divorce busting techniques or just realize and accept her statement. Because, people can still doubt, yet proceed with D.

I'm in a shock period and don't know what to do next.


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## Mamatomany

Jayb said:


> My W agreed to MC as a way of showing me she cares about my raw emotions going through this. I always struggled with whether she was "just going through the motions" and she admitted to it a few days ago.
> 
> Now, I'm not sure if I should pursue divorce busting techniques or just realize and accept her statement. Because, people can still doubt, yet proceed with D.
> 
> I'm in a shock period and don't know what to do next.


Maybe call and ask the D busters what their opinion is.... then let us know


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## This is me

Boy Mama, I see your link to MLC for dummies. That is exactly what my wife did. I want to give that to my counselors who would not say for certain she was/is going through a MLC. Every point was alomost exactly what the experience was. 

For me the word PATIENCE from Divorce Busters has saved us this far.


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## Mamatomany

This is me said:


> Boy Mama, I see your link to MLC for dummies. That is exactly what my wife did. I want to give that to my counselors who would not say for certain she was/is going through a MLC. Every point was alomost exactly what the experience was.
> 
> For me the word PATIENCE from Divorce Busters has saved us this far.


The spouse definitely goes through the crisis too. I have been reading Divorce Remedy and need to finish it. The midlifeclubforum.com was interesting to read. There weren't tons of marriage success stories but I think they don't get posted because they are back in a good spot in their life and just leave the site. (I hope that's the case)


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## UpnDown

> Chapter 6 – It’s All About You!!
> 
> Remember this is all about you! What you want and need, RIGHT NOW! You shouldn’t have to wait until you can afford something, just go on out and get it! You deserve a new haircut, new clothes, and some new toys. You’ve worked for it. You would probably look great in that new Convertible, or on that new Harley!! So don’t hesitate! You live in the here and now! So why wait until tomorrow!!
> 
> Remember, the word is CRISIS and if you are in one, EVERYONE else should have to ride the Roller coaster with you! It’s no fun taking a ride alone, and you know what they say about misery loving company! Go on out there and get started, so much pain and damage, and so little time!


Wow that sounds like my stbxw .. she 'needs' child support money from me (even though its 50 / 50 and I currently make the same as her) but she plans on going on a trip in July and all these other things. SHE DESERVES IT!


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## Hermes

I am reading Divorce Remedy and so far I think it is a great book. (Sorry to resurrect and old thread). i called Joann from that hotline. She helped a great deal. I need that support that they are giving. I have 3 sessions booked already (next is on Monday). The wife is moving out this weekend, so I know we are going to have a lot to talk about during the call.


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## MSC71

She probably has no need to come back to you as she seems to be getting everything from you now (movies, dates, sweet letters etc.) For her to come back she would have to miss you and the only way that will happen is if you do the 180.


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## In_The_Wind

Hi Jay sorry you are here I am unfamilar with your back story are you the BS or WS ?? and I agree with the above about the 180 its about taking care of you maybe start exercising some developing some new or old hobbies contact old friends etc and also take care of your children it does sound like she has checked out if that is the case Its best to start working on yourself who knows you might decide to file anything can happen between the filing time and the actual D Good Luck


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## This is me

Hermes said:


> I am reading Divorce Remedy and so far I think it is a great book. (Sorry to resurrect and old thread). i called Joann from that hotline. She helped a great deal. I need that support that they are giving. I have 3 sessions booked already (next is on Monday). The wife is moving out this weekend, so I know we are going to have a lot to talk about during the call.


I was determined to do what I could to save what was once a very good marriage. The book Divorce Remedy was night reading for months, I also bought 3 sessions. It was helpful to a degree, but not great. At the same time we were doing MC and I was doing IC. 

In the end, every little thing played a part in saving our marriage. Money well spent.

Good luck!


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## frozen

Jayb said:


> Our MC told me that since my W was so steadfast and disengaged, that it would be impossible to get through to her to even open up and have doubts.


There are counselors that specialize in "divorce without war". Their style and the techniques they employ are nothing like an MC that is working for the marriage. 

If your MC was not able to help you then switch to another. Needless to say you should be going to the BEST in your area. Your MC should have told you or recommended you to another if they felt they could not help your marriage, NOT to switch gears to help the marriage end.


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## Carlton

Jayb said:


> Just looking at the advertisement.
> 
> Boy, it really sounds convincing. But, I'm not sure.
> 
> Does anyone have experience with them? Good or bad results.
> 
> I have a WAW, determined to leave for no one else, while wanting to remain friends. We have 2 small children. MC did not work as she was disengaged, attending only to support me and my emotions while going through this.


I did three sessions with the wife. They heped me a lot. The wife not so much, she didn't think that it was appropriate for us to be telling someone over the phone our life story, even though we will be doing it in person now.

$450 for 3 hours to save your marriage is worth it I think. The first session got all of our gripes out. The counselor said it was a complete waste. The second he said we have to be nice t each other. Easier sad than done. We made it a day. Then the last one he said we need to treat each other like old friends. 

I will say that had we stuck to what he told us, we would be farther along than we are now. Was it worth it to me? Yes. To the wife? Not really. They follow the book, and then give better perspective on your situation.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## wiigirl

frozen said:


> There are counselors that specialize in "divorce without war". Their style and the techniques they employ are nothing like an MC that is working for the marriage.
> 
> If your MC was not able to help you then switch to another. Needless to say you should be going to the BEST in your area. Your MC should have told you or recommended you to another if they felt they could not help your marriage, NOT to switch gears to help the marriage end.


:iagree:








_Posted via Mobile Device_


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