# Do I owe?



## Dragirl68 (Nov 25, 2014)

Please tell me your thoughts...
My second husband and I have been experiencing marital issues and we have separated. I have 2 children from my first marriage and they have always lived with us. Now that my husband and I are separated, he has told me that I owe him for taking care of my children for the past 14 years. I have always worked 1 or 2 jobs and brought in the same amount of money as him give or take a few dollars. My ex-husband has sporadically paid child support over the years. Do I owe him? Is this reasonable? please share your thoughts...


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## commonsenseisn't (Aug 13, 2014)

Dragirl68 said:


> please share your thoughts...


Our thoughts on this are worthless. You need to get the thoughts of a good lawyer.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Oh good Lord. Of course you don't owe him. He took your children on willingly. If he was not willing to do it, he should have worked that out with you from the very start.

I do have to say that it was generous and kind that your husband did this. For that he deserves a big "Thank You". But him now demanding that you pay him back in retrospect kind of tarnishes what he did. I guess he's just pissed right now.

When he says you owe him, how does he intend to collect? Is he saying that this is part of a divorce settlement? What is he demanding?

do you have an attorney?


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Do you mean financially?  Then no. Maybe just a thank you for stepping up. Does he plan to remain in the kids lives?


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## Dragirl68 (Nov 25, 2014)

I don't think he plans on remaining in their lives. 
He thinks I should get a tattoo with his name on it in a private area. I'm not willing to do this given our current situation.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Dragirl68 said:


> I don't think he plans on remaining in their lives.
> 
> He thinks I should get a tattoo with his name on it in a private area. I'm not willing to do this given our current situation.


What? That's what he wants in payment for helping you support your children?


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## Dragirl68 (Nov 25, 2014)

Is that crazy or am I ?


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## Revamped (Jun 19, 2014)

This can't be a serious request...


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Dragirl68 said:


> I don't think he plans on remaining in their lives.
> He thinks I should get a tattoo with his name on it in a private area. I'm not willing to do this given our current situation.


Let's see my step children are in their late 20's. I raised them from the age of 10/11 on.

When I say I raised them I mean that their father (my ex) and their mother did not contribute financially or in any other way. I raised them and my son on my own. My step children are still very much in my life. They are my children.

So, I just called their father who I divorced a couple of years ago and read him your post. I told him that in light of this, I want him to get my name tattooed on his privates. 

His response was that he laughed. 

I guess that ain't gonna happen. Oh well another good idea down the drain.


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## Dragirl68 (Nov 25, 2014)

Oh yes it is and he has no intention of remaining in the marriage.


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## Revamped (Jun 19, 2014)

So...

Why are you even entertaining this idea then?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Dragirl68 said:


> Is that crazy or am I ?


My above post is not making fun of you. I did call my ex to see his response. Despite being divorced and me being pissed at him for his not helping raise his own children, we still talk and sort of get along.

I wanted to share his reaction with you because that's the right reaction. I knew that he'd react that way.


Your husband's request is crazy. It's ridiculous.

You on the other hand must be sane because you understand that his request is crazy.

Perhaps you would be better off not talking to him. Just get a layers and get away from him.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Why are you even focusing on what he says?


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Dragirl68 said:


> Please tell me your thoughts...
> My second husband and I have been experiencing marital issues and we have separated. I have 2 children from my first marriage and they have always lived with us. Now that my husband and I are separated, he has told me that I owe him for taking care of my children for the past 14 years. I have always worked 1 or 2 jobs and brought in the same amount of money as him give or take a few dollars. My ex-husband has sporadically paid child support over the years. Do I owe him? Is this reasonable? please share your thoughts...


What a total, complete and utter [email protected]

Wow.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

OK I just have to ask...

What was it that precipitated the "marital issues" that led to your separation?

Not that it's pertinent... I'm just curious.


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

After the birth of his own child with my mother; my stepfather begrudged any $ he had to spend on me.

It probably had a lot to do with the fact that he and my mother's marriage wasn't so hot.

So, I believe that a former-step-father would feel this way.

But since he chose to do this as an adult; no, you don't "owe" him.

I hope your kids haven't picked up on this vibe from him - that he wishes he hadn't had to help raise them. It's toxic stuff for kids to have to carry around with them.

Especially since their natural father hasn't exactly stepped up to the plate either. What must they think of "fathers" in their hearts and minds?


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## Flying_Dutchman (Oct 29, 2014)

I'd love to write you a well-reasoned, succinct analysis, weighing all the pros and cons fairly and present you with a variety of possible retorts. Thing is, I can't, cuz every way I look at it only leads to one conclusion - Tell the bell-end to go f*ck himself.

How very dare he! Cheeky fu,,,,,,
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

He's a real class act... I don't know what his problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

You certainly do owe him..... A broken nose and a kick in the junk at the very least!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Gonecrazy (Oct 12, 2014)

When you marry some one who has children, you take on the 'package deal'. The real father should have paid better, but non the less, your second husband took on the responsibility, and IMO has no right to ask for money spent on a decision that he willingly made in the first place. That would be no different, than my wife and I breaking up then me saying, I want half the money of raising our kids!

Tell him to go ask your first husband for the money since he is the one that really owes, not you. And as far as the tattoo on the rude bits, he is tying to in his opinion, screw up any future romantic action that you may take. As if that is ever going to happen!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Gonecrazy said:


> When you marry some one who has children, you take on the 'package deal'. The real father should have paid better, but non the less, your second husband took on the responsibility, and IMO has no right to ask for money spent on a decision that he willingly made in the first place. That would be no different, than my wife and I breaking up then me saying, I want half the money of raising our kids!
> 
> Tell him to go ask your first husband for the money since he is the one that really owes, not you. And as far as the tattoo on the rude bits, he is tying to in his opinion, screw up any future romantic action that you may take. As if that is ever going to happen!


Her husband is not asking her to repay the money he spent.

He's demanding that she tattoo his name on her privates in payment for any help he gave as a step parent.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Dragirl68 said:


> I don't think he plans on remaining in their lives.
> He thinks I should get a tattoo with his name on it in a private area. I'm not willing to do this given our current situation.


I read this to my husband just now.. because it is so outrageous...heard a lot of things on this forum but never this one!! ... His thoughts...he doesn't want you find another man... "no man having sex with a woman is going to want to see another man's name on her body like that "... .that's pretty twisted... he still has some hold on you and seeks a "romantic revenge".


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I read this to my husband just now.. because it is so outrageous...heard a lot of things on this forum but never this one!! ... His thoughts...he doesn't want you find another man... "no man having sex with a woman is going to want to see another man's name on her body like that "... .that's pretty twisted... he still has some hold on you and seeks a "romantic revenge".


:iagree: QFT


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