# Karma is a B : Anthony Bourdain’s abandonment of his wife and daughter, only to be betrayed by his AP.



## blackclover3 (Apr 23, 2021)

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/09/27/dining/anthony-bourdain-biography.html


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## ArthurGPym (Jun 28, 2021)

So many people seemed to admire him. I don’t really understand why. On top of being a womanizer he was an alcoholic and ex-drug addict. His travel show was interesting but he seemed to have a lot of nihilistic attitudes towards people and the world. It didn’t surprise me at all when he hanged himself. 

He made some seriously bad decisions. He paid over $250,000 hush money to that 17-year old kid that Argento slept with, while she was denouncing Brian Epstein for taking advantage of her when she was a teen. What a hypocrite! Then she turns around as is seen schmoozing with some guy by the paparazzi. . Next day Bourdain offs himself.

Any guy who would kill himself over a woman is not all there.


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## Reluctant Texan (6 mo ago)

I think his flaws were all very personal; he did not treat other people around him unfairly... at least not to the extent he should be villified over it.

Whatever his personal demons were (and I include his relationship(s) in his personal issues) he was very decent to other people, and their cultures, and that came through in the show. I also found him to be a likable person, and would've liked to get a drink with him and shot the breeze for a couple hours.

I haven't read the (paywalled) article, but I read his book and watched the show sometimes. He never tried to hide his own flaws or struggles with drug addiction.

Unless we really know what happened between two people, I think it's best to stay out of judging someone based on whether they stayed in or left a marriage.

He spoke out a lot on US foreign policy disasters & how we Americans see other people, and especially in the last couple years was more outspoken in that regard on his show. I would wager that's why the NYT feels a need to piss on his grave right now.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

Bourdain never claimed to be a saint. Never pretended to be something he wasn't. That, his incredible mastery of prose, and his true interest and appreciation of cultures most of us ignore, are what made him an incredible, yet very flawed human being.

I highly recommend Roadrunner for anyone interested.

Argento was his ultimate poison pill, but he was beginning to spiral anyway. Mental health is no joke, people.


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## Lotsofheart73 (Oct 13, 2021)

Always interesting how many people like to come out with all this awful info (whether true or not) after the person is dead and cannot speak for themselves.


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## Keepin-my-head-up (Jan 11, 2013)

Still list him as one of the 5 people for the ultimate dinner party..


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

Keepin-my-head-up said:


> Still list him as one of the 5 people for the ultimate dinner party..


100% - he was in my top 3, but he needs to be replaced....


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## wmn1 (Aug 27, 2014)

again citing a NYT article . Wow, The most bias press on earth. But interesting stroy.

Moral or the story. Don't cheat


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## newsman_ca (Apr 11, 2019)

Bourdain..like so many, was a disgusting human being....but the camera liked him and he could write....so many loved him....there are countless "celebrities" who are the same


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## whammyface (5 mo ago)

Reluctant Texan said:


> I think his flaws were all very personal; he did not treat other people around him unfairly... at least not to the extent he should be villified over it.
> 
> Whatever his personal demons were (and I include his relationship(s) in his personal issues) he was very decent to other people, and their cultures, and that came through in the show. I also found him to be a likable person, and would've liked to get a drink with him and shot the breeze for a couple hours.
> 
> ...


Treating his daughter like she doesn't exist negates all that...


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

If you watch the Roadrunner movie, you'll understand him better. The family stuff, the drugs, the way his mind worked. The man simply was unable to sit still in any way. Constantly searching, never able to settle. Though he did this for awhile. And his first wife was something like a 20 year relationship. He didn't have a normal brain, and this came out in the movie. It doesn't glorify him, it's a pretty realistic portrayal of a flawed, yet, revered person.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I sometimes like arrogant men, but I never could stand him just watching him on TV.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

newsman_ca said:


> Bourdain..like so many, was a disgusting human being.


Bourdain would be the first person to agree with you. What made him different, was that he knew it.

I've spoken with several people that knew him. In real life, he was quiet, humble, and painfully honest. With a lot of demons in his brain....that eventually killed him.


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## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

Look some people are nice to the camera, nice to the homeless person on the street, nice to all the people they have a drink with.

But behind closed doors, when there’s no audience, a person’s wife/husband, kids and siblings will all tell the same story: it was hell, and we will never be ok’.

I always steer clear of the helpful person I meet. You know the one, the mum that’s always nice at a dinner party, helping out at church, school. The clever nice guy who’ll just drop everything for a friend!! Oh he’ll come at any time of night or day, he’s so fabulous! (While yet another child goes without a birthday present because dad didn’t have time).

I don’t believe much in karma, but I’d say he was ‘that guy’.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

Luckylucky said:


> Look some people are nice to the camera, nice to the homeless person on the street, nice to all the people they have a drink with.
> 
> But behind closed doors, when there’s no audience, a person’s wife/husband, kids and siblings will all tell the same story: it was hell, and we will never be ok’.
> 
> ...


Incorrect. I've studied him and spoken with people that knew him.

AB was not the guy openly helping people at all. He honestly kept to himself. He had incredible writing talent, and that was discovered when he sent in an article to the New Yorker about kitchens in the city. Like many chefs working in kitchens, he had a lot of vices. He drank, did drugs, become addicted to some of them. He was approached to do TV. Didn't want to do it but needed the money. And he got good at it. He had a genuine curiosity about people, what made them tick, and what they cooked. Made friends along the way, some of them very famous. 

He had zero ability to lay low and be a homebody. He was not marriage material, but like many of us, he fell in love a few times, and tried. It wasn't for him, it never was going to be. 

AB had an insatiable need to wander and search. You can't do that at home. And once he got a taste for it with the first TV show, it became an addiction to travel and search and find more and more obscure places, people and food. Like many addicts, he latched on and couldn't stay away from it. At one point he tried being the family man with Octavia and their daughter. I believe he stayed mostly home for about a year, and he claimed it was miserable. Just wasn't cut out for it. When a person has a high-motored brain and anxious feet, they can't sit still. So he went back out, did his new show 300 days a year. It's just who he was. Octavia and his daughter were collateral damage, which is unfortunate. But they knew it wasn't personal.

Just a unique and very interesting person. Probably overly worshipped, for sure. But I think his uniqueness is why he had so many fans. There is just nobody like him. And he delivered extremely good entertainment and information nobody else had ever done before.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

wmn1 said:


> again citing a NYT article . Wow, The most bias press on earth. But interesting stroy.
> 
> Moral or the story. Don't cheat


The article hides behind a paywall, so who (besides a subscriber) knows what it said?


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

KindBuddha said:


> I don't know. This whole fetishistic approach to travel and food strikes me as very unhealthy. It's designed not to enrich the viewers' lives, but to make the viewers feel as if they are "missing out" on something, to trigger people to voraciously consume more and more and more. To make us feel that what we already have is not good enough and never will be, and that somehow traveling to the ends of the earth might solve that--but it never does.


Interesting take. I guess it's up to the consumer to feel how they are going to feel. 

Personally, I saw it as a window into places I knew I'd never see. Or perhaps, to open a new door into a place I previously wasn't interested in seeing.

I was inspired to experience more of what locals appreciate, rather than tourists. A shift in my priorities when I do get the chance to explore, to something more authentic than showy.


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

Gabriel said:


> Personally, I saw it as a window into places I knew I'd never see. Or perhaps, to open a new door into a place I previously wasn't interested in seeing.
> 
> *I was inspired to experience more of what locals appreciate, rather than tourists. A shift in my priorities when I do get the chance to explore, to something more authentic than showy*.


I completely agree, and I suspect there are a great many who feel the same.
While certainly (and self-admittedly) flawed, Bourdain brought some unique and meaningful perspectives to many. I’m sad that he’s gone.


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## ArthurGPym (Jun 28, 2021)

The world lost a highly talented man. And it is true that he had many admirable qualities. He was a mensch, no doubt. Fun at parties and for hanging around a fire pit with. 

I have many old friends who are like this: fascinating, fun people to party with and talk to. However, I would not trust one single one of them with a $100 bill. They are each reckless, foolish, vain and clueless. Most of them have had no development arc: they are the same people at 55 that they were at 18. But I love them.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

ArthurGPym said:


> The world lost a highly talented man. And it is true that he had many admirable qualities. He was a mensch, no doubt. Fun at parties and for hanging around a fire pit with.
> 
> I have many old friends who are like this: fascinating, fun people to party with and talk to. However, I would not trust one single one of them with a $100 bill. They are each reckless, foolish, vain and clueless. Most of them have had no development arc: they are the same people at 55 that they were at 18. But I love them.


Perfect explanation.


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## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

He was fun to watch. I love to travel, so for me he was someone I could relate to. The food, the places, the experience. What ever he did, was exactly what helped him to become this TV personality. Too bad he couldn't manage his mental health issues.


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## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

KindBuddha said:


> I don't know. This whole fetishistic approach to travel and food strikes me as very unhealthy. It's designed not to enrich the viewers' lives, but to make the viewers feel as if they are "missing out" on something, to trigger people to voraciously consume more and more and more. To make us feel that what we already have is not good enough and never will be, and that somehow traveling to the ends of the earth might solve that--but it never does.


Not exploring and doing the same thing every day is extremely boring for me. If there are other places to see, I'm gonna try to see them. I knew I had to marry someone who shared my curiosity for other places. My husband and I have a blast traveling and trying new things. It's very enriching and educational.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

KindBuddha said:


> Given the fact of his suicide, and his history of troubled personal relationships, as well as various other information available about him, it seems fairly likely that Bourdain was suffering from some form of serious mental illness, that was either never diagnosed, or diagnosed incorrectly, and never received proper treatment for it.
> 
> Speculating that proper treatment for his hypothesized mental illness may have required a radical change in his lifestyle--e.g., giving up his T.V. shows and other major changes in his career, that may have seriously diminished his economic power--then we can further speculate that everyone and everything surrounding him was negatively incentivized to help him get appropriate treatment. If mentally healthy non-suicidal Bourdain is someone who renounces world travel, renounces television shows, renounces his "celebrity-hood"--in exchange for a quieter, more anonymous, more "normal" life--then many many people and corporations will lose the golden goose.


That was evident to me the first time I saw him eat bugs. He ate bugs, FFS. He ate anything anyone handed him. That's not normal.


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