# Im lonely.



## JDhavle (Aug 27, 2012)

ok here it goes. I just got married last Nov 29,2011. we didnt have a honeymoon or even a big wedding. it was just me nd him and the pastor and one of my friends. we didnt have a lot of money, so it had to be that way and i was ok with it. As long as he spend time with me but now he dont have time for me anymore and i feel like he dont think im sexy or cute anymore. i have try to do everything i can think of to look sexy for him but thing works he always says he is tired. he is always working too. he has two jobs one job is from 5pm to 10pm and the other job is from 11pm to 8am. 6 days a week. when he come home he go to sleep or maybe he will call his family who live in India. he is always to tired for me and go to sleep. i work too from 2pm to10pm. 6 days a week too. i have one day off nd i try to ask him to get the same day off too. if he can on that one day off we have together he sleep all day. now he wants to go to india for three week or more. in december. he has to work on thankgiving so we wont be together for that. christmas and his birthday are in december. i dont know what to do. Im starting to think at we will not make it to our first wedding Annv. can anyone help me


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

How old are the both of you? Sounds like he works a lot and you do too, and the schedules just make you both tired. 

Anyway the both of you could change your schedules? Compromise? Could you both do without his second job?


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

Have you talked to him about this explicitly?

Tell him that at the current pace, you may have money but you're not going to be married for much longer.

Decide if it's more important to live a lower standard of life but be married.


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

You really need to talk to your husband about how you're feeling. I agree with the above, if you can get him to get rid of the 2nd job (if you two can afford it) and even change around work hours than do it.

Let him know that so much time apart is making you feel lonely, distant and unattractive to him. Don't go at him with blaming/yelling ("You never...!"/"We never do anything anymore."). 

Be honest and sensitive to what the issues are, "I feel lonely and like we're growing apart because we haven't been spending much time together lately." which explains how you feel and doesn't sound like you're blaming him only for the situation. 

Second, give him concrete ideas/solutions for how to fix it, "If you could cut back your hours and spend more time with me." or "I know that you're tired but if we could spend two weekends a month doing XYZ, it'd help me to feel more connected." 

If you address your concerns without blame and also contribute to finding solutions together, he is more likely to meet you half way than if you criticize him and don't offer any solutions.


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## KellyK (Sep 4, 2012)

Miss Taken said:


> You really need to talk to your husband about how you're feeling. I agree with the above, if you can get him to get rid of the 2nd job (if you two can afford it) and even change around work hours than do it.
> 
> Let him know that so much time apart is making you feel lonely, distant and unattractive to him. Don't go at him with blaming/yelling ("You never...!"/"We never do anything anymore.").
> 
> ...


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## KellyK (Sep 4, 2012)

Miss Taken has given you what is probably the best advice you could get on how to address your feelings with your husband.

I realize things are hard for you, but he is working a lot and must be tired too. He values his family and his time is spread thin and he sounds like he is doing what he can to make a lot of people happy, so make sure his home is a happy place to come home to.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jdlash (Jun 18, 2012)

If you still love him, don't sit and wait. You will detach and he will end up the one on here like a whole bunch of us. Talk to him and make sure he understands how serious you are about the situation. Catching stuff before it's went on for years is the best way to successfully staying happily married. In this case becoming happily married!


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