# Wife says I'm boring...



## avengers

I'm new, just want to say thanks for the advice in advance.

So my wife told me the other day that I was boring. She didn't say it to be hurtful, more of in a joking manner but honestly we are both a little boring. I guess the easiest explanation is that we have fallen into a daily routine that is hard to break. 

In reality I don't mind the routine, I like having one and it just makes life a little easier. But I know it's a little harder on her, she likes things to change up every now and then and loves trying new things. A few month ago I suggested date night, but now that's just part of the routine too. I think that the thing she needs the most right now is some "couple" friends. Couple friends meaning people who are in the same place in their lives and share similar interests and would make good friends for both of us. By the way, I know this because she's hinted at it several times... 

I guess my question is, where do we go to meet these people? The only place I can think of is to get back in church. However, I truly don't think either of us are wanting that right now, and with her nursing schedule we would hardly ever be able to go at the same time. Also let me say that my co-workers are all older than us and at different place in their lives. I don't know about her co-workers but so far she hasn't offered any as good candidates.

Any ideas are welcome, we met online so I'm not completely opposed to related suggestions.


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## EynaraWolf

What about joining something like a couple's bowling league? It gets you doing something different and would produce couple friends?


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## avengers

EynaraWolf said:


> What about joining something like a couple's bowling league? It gets you doing something different and would produce couple friends?


That is a great idea!


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## bkaydezz

DId you ask her why she thought you were boring?


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## Entropy3000

avengers said:


> I'm new, just want to say thanks for the advice in advance.
> 
> So my wife told me the other day that I was boring. She didn't say it to be hurtful, more of in a joking manner but honestly we are both a little boring. I guess the easiest explanation is that we have fallen into a daily routine that is hard to break.
> 
> In reality I don't mind the routine, I like having one and it just makes life a little easier. But I know it's a little harder on her, she likes things to change up every now and then and loves trying new things. A few month ago I suggested date night, but now that's just part of the routine too. I think that the thing she needs the most right now is some "couple" friends. Couple friends meaning people who are in the same place in their lives and share similar interests and would make good friends for both of us. By the way, I know this because she's hinted at it several times...
> 
> I guess my question is, where do we go to meet these people? The only place I can think of is to get back in church. However, I truly don't think either of us are wanting that right now, and with her nursing schedule we would hardly ever be able to go at the same time. Also let me say that my co-workers are all older than us and at different place in their lives. I don't know about her co-workers but so far she hasn't offered any as good candidates.
> 
> Any ideas are welcome, we met online so I'm not completely opposed to related suggestions.


Before you do this try reading Married Man Sex Life | How to have the marriage you thought you were going to have. By which I mean doing it like rabbits..


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## heartsdelight

I would be concerned about the "boring" comment too. What does she mean? How did you respond? I think couples friends are great (we just moved to a new town and are in the market ourselves) but you don't want that outside relationship to be the only thing keeping your marital relationship going. Does she mean you as a person are boring or you as a couple are boring? I get both, though the first is obviously more offensive.

As far as finding friends (and not being boring in general) find something you're interested in. Volunteering, dogs, hiking, a sport, photography, whatever. Take a class, join a club, search online for things nearby related to that subject. If you like hiking, find people online or in the paper or in a club looking for hiking buddies. Same for any other activity. What does she want to be doing exactly? Just talking with other people? You can't talk if you have nothing interesting to say. My husband and I talk a lot about random things but a lot of it is about our ideas and philosophy on different things (politics, religion, psychology) and we both love reading things and sharing things we've read that offer a new perspective. That's just our interest and one I hope we can find a couple that shares in it with us and we can have interesting discussions with.


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## WorkingOnMe

Entropy3000 said:


> Before you do this try reading Married Man Sex Life | How to have the marriage you thought you were going to have. By which I mean doing it like rabbits..


This. That book has specific and good info about that comment coming from your wife. Here's a hint. It's not good.


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## bribrius

i never quite fixed the boring thing with my wife. she called me boring because i basically didnt want to go with her to run errands or to go to the park.
Thing is, im from the city. she is from a smaller town. what she considers fun and i consider fun are VERY different things.
i like skydiving. That will motivate me. She says im boring for not going to the park with her. Course in my mind the park doesnt seem especially exciting. 
we do go to the camp occasionally etc. That is something we kind of agree on, and boating. But she actually gets bored quick boating. i like to stay out all night boating. i love being under the moonlight and running at night. with kids its difficult too, we would have to leave the kids with parents at night for that most likely. So she wouldnt never go for it.
But she would like to go get icecream, if i dont go. im boring.
i been to plenty of strip clubs when i lived in lasvegas. not something i do now but i can do any type of dancing, club just as well. blues club.
she doesnt like clubs or the night seen. im pretty used to them and feel comfortable in that environment.
But will say im boring if i dont really want to go for a walk with her.
its all a matter of perception. i gave up on that long ago....
Guess im boring too. i think boring is code for "spend more time with me and lets have fun" in general though.


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## *LittleDeer*

bribrius said:


> i never quite fixed the boring thing with my wife. she called me boring because i basically didnt want to go with her to run errands or to go to the park.
> Thing is, im from the city. she is from a smaller town. what she considers fun and i consider fun are VERY different things.
> i like skydiving. That will motivate me. She says im boring for not going to the park with her. Course in my mind the park doesnt seem especially exciting.
> we do go to the camp occasionally etc. That is something we kind of agree on, and boating. But she actually gets bored quick boating. i like to stay out all night boating. i love being under the moonlight and running at night. with kids its difficult too, we would have to leave the kids with parents at night for that most likely. So she wouldnt never go for it.
> But she would like to go get icecream, if i dont go. im boring.
> i been to plenty of strip clubs when i lived in lasvegas. not something i do now but i can do any type of dancing, club just as well. blues club.
> she doesnt like clubs or the night seen. im pretty used to them and feel comfortable in that environment.
> But will say im boring if i dont really want to go for a walk with her.
> its all a matter of perception. i gave up on that long ago....
> Guess im boring too. i think boring is code for "spend more time with me and lets have fun" in general though.


Sounds like you don't spend much time together.

Unless a man engages his wife, she will eventually find him boring.


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## missunderstoodnowmrs

i dont know how close you are to a city but in larger cities there are kickball leagues (super fun!) google waka. for adults only. also there are usually events and adventures clubs. you pay a membership due monthly, then the club hosts several events throughout the month. could be skydiving (for you) or just hanging out and cooking hot dogs. there's always something going on. if you're in a small town then i feel your pain. we moved from the city to a small town and its been hell trying to find a "couple friend". I met a girl that worked at a spa I frequented in town and just asked her if she wanted to have lunch. now we hang out regularly as friends and the four of us are all good friends. it felt kind of awkward to be essentially ask another girl out (lol) BUT IT WORKED!!


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## alton

I wouldn't be too concerned, though there probably is a hint in there that she want's to do more. 

Try doing things you've never done before, even if it's out of your comfort zone. New experiences are always good no matter how bad they are.


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## bkaydezz

bribrius said:


> i never quite fixed the boring thing with my wife. she called me boring because i basically didnt want to go with her to run errands or to go to the park.
> Thing is, im from the city. she is from a smaller town. what she considers fun and i consider fun are VERY different things.
> i like skydiving. That will motivate me. She says im boring for not going to the park with her. Course in my mind the park doesnt seem especially exciting.
> we do go to the camp occasionally etc. That is something we kind of agree on, and boating. But she actually gets bored quick boating. i like to stay out all night boating. i love being under the moonlight and running at night. with kids its difficult too, we would have to leave the kids with parents at night for that most likely. So she wouldnt never go for it.
> But she would like to go get icecream, if i dont go. im boring.
> i been to plenty of strip clubs when i lived in lasvegas. not something i do now but i can do any type of dancing, club just as well. blues club.
> she doesnt like clubs or the night seen. im pretty used to them and feel comfortable in that environment.
> But will say im boring if i dont really want to go for a walk with her.
> its all a matter of perception. i gave up on that long ago....
> Guess im boring too. i think boring is code for "spend more time with me and lets have fun" in general though.


she seems easy to please.
simple minded with materials and activites.
like you said smal town makes more for close interaction and special occasions as the city is quite spaztic and you have more of a wild side to you.
both people in a relationship bring in a different view of the world as to what you enjoy.
you like outdoors and she is more indoors for things.
you both have to understand that about each other, actually its something that you were attrated to as you were getting to know one another.


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## bkaydezz

you both need to do these activities with one another, share your intrests and try to have fun!!!!!
i like to do thigns with my bf that i wouldnt choose to do myself but at least i get an understanding of what gets him exctied and how it ties into his personality.


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## Ten_year_hubby

avengers said:


> So my wife told me the other day that I was boring.


In my humble opinion, this is what the therapists call projection. She sees herself as boring, a characteristic she doesn't like so she points it out in you.

Make it a point to go out and walk around the block together every day. Find five or six things to say to complement her on why she is so interesting (to you). The more interesting she feels the less boring you will be.


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## Beelzebub

Dude are you married to my wife too?


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## avengers

Thanks for the comments guys. 

I should have tried a little harder to give more info...I think I made what happened sound bad but in reality it wasn't.

Hopefully this will help. By my wife saying I'm boring she means that I don't like to try new things. For instance the comment stemmed from me not wanting to go eat sushi (I'm not a big fan of raw food). It wasn't a bad comment, it was a kidding around comment as she and I were both smiling. She, likes to do new things all the time, and most of the time I try to indulge her whims, but not all the time. Thus...I'm boring.  

Honestly, she really just wants more variety in our days. I understand that, life can be tedious at times. Hence the couple friends aspect, she wants us as a couple to meet other people that in an essence can allow us to do things with them separately but still be together at the same time. A little confusing maybe, but hopefully that helps explain a little more. 

Keep the ideas coming though, joining a league is a great start, and perhaps we can meet others there of similar interests as us.


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## keko

avengers said:


> Honestly, she really just wants more variety in our days.


Her need for variety is very telling of possible future problems. Today its about sushi's tomorrow it'll be another couple joining you in the bedroom.


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## Entropy3000

Not to be argumentative but in the ineterest of helping you out, I totally got what you meant form the get go.

My comment still stands. I suggest before you engage other couples into your marriage which can be fine and healthy, that you read the book MMSL. Also if you have not already done so do His Needs Her Needs together.

I am suggesting that you make sure you are meeting each others needs and have agreed upon boundaries before you start socializing closely with other couples.
The investment in your time would be worth it IMO.

But we got what she meant by boring completely. The fact that you are reluctant to do new things. Yup. Got it. 

Understand clearly what your boundaries are.


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## avengers

keko said:


> Her need for variety is very telling of possible future problems. Today its about sushi's tomorrow it'll be another couple joining you in the bedroom.


Honestly guys, I think I've joined the wrong forum. It seems all the majority of you can relate to is sex...

Some of the feedback I've received so far just makes me sick. It seems that most of you just pick out certain comments from what I have said and then tie that to sex in some way. 

Plain and simple just looking from ideas for new things to try with my wife. Activities, not sex related, where we can both meet new friends. The bowling league was a great idea, I don't know how the thread degraded to sex.

And just as an FYI for you folks...My wife and I have a great relationship. We talk about everything, we have a wonderful bedroom relationship and we share everything right down the last piece of food on our plates.


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## Nicole01

Kidding or not, this wasn't right and disrespectful.

Your not "boring". It's your wife, she's the one letting her mind get bored. Maybe she needs a new hobby or something to stimulate her mind, so she is not so bored. She also can come up with ideas for the two of you to do.

I personally can not leave the house unless it's for a doctors appointment. I'm housebound and there's not a single thing I can do about it. My husband is perfectly happy hanging out at home with me. He'd never tell me that he's bored with me. We do many things together that do not involve going out or too much physical activity. It's embarrassing to me having to be pushed in a wheelchair at 30 something years old. My husband also does a lot of things outside the home to stimulate his mind like being a part of city council, putting together seminars, ect... I'm really amazed what he had accomplished in his life. I have my own hobbies at home, then we do take time nightly to spend quality time together.

Everyone's interests are different and we are all unique.

Good luck and I wish you the best.


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## bkaydezz

avengers said:


> Thanks for the comments guys.
> 
> I should have tried a little harder to give more info...I think I made what happened sound bad but in reality it wasn't.
> 
> Hopefully this will help. By my wife saying I'm boring she means that I don't like to try new things. For instance the comment stemmed from me not wanting to go eat sushi (I'm not a big fan of raw food). It wasn't a bad comment, it was a kidding around comment as she and I were both smiling. She, likes to do new things all the time, and most of the time I try to indulge her whims, but not all the time. Thus...I'm boring.
> 
> Honestly, she really just wants more variety in our days. I understand that, life can be tedious at times. Hence the couple friends aspect, she wants us as a couple to meet other people that in an essence can allow us to do things with them separately but still be together at the same time. A little confusing maybe, but hopefully that helps explain a little more.
> 
> Keep the ideas coming though, joining a league is a great start, and perhaps we can meet others there of similar interests as us.


You are not boring!
Who doesnt wnat more variety in their days?
That is the spotenaety of the relationship, almost everyone craves it. The switch up.

She seems to be more socially bound than you.
Doesnt mean you are boring, jsut that you have two different personalities and share life from opposite ends in the same view.
nothing wrong with that!!!!

Fwiw, many of the users on here mean well.
everyone jsut has a different take on things, gets a different grasp of the thread, doesnt mean that you joined the wrong forum, just give Tam a chance. you will come to enjoy it


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## AFEH

avengers said:


> Honestly guys, I think I've joined the wrong forum. It seems all the majority of you can relate to is sex...
> 
> *Some of the feedback I've received so far just makes me sick. *It seems that most of you just pick out certain comments from what I have said and then tie that to sex in some way.
> 
> Plain and simple just looking from ideas for new things to try with my wife. Activities, not sex related, where we can both meet new friends. The bowling league was a great idea, I don't know how the thread degraded to sex.
> 
> And just as an FYI for you folks...My wife and I have a great relationship. We talk about everything, we have a wonderful bedroom relationship and we share everything right down the last piece of food on our plates.


Is that the way you respond to your wife’s suggestions with ingratitude, disdain and disrespect? If it is, for her to call you boring she is indeed being kind.

A simple “Thanks guys for your sex suggestions, but things are ok there” would have done the job nicely.

But think on it for a moment. Maybe those guys have a point. If you are creative, dynamic, passionate, considerate etc. etc. in the bedroom and know full well where your wife’s erogenous zones are and how to turn her on in the full flow of passion, she’s very unlikely to label you as boring anywhere, let alone in the bedroom, in the sand dunes, under a tree in a corn field etc.



And for sure, that creative and passionate guy in the bedroom will be creative and passionate outside of it as well. So buy that book and get creative and find two or three things to be truly passionate about and become an expert in them. Then for sure if your wife still calls you boring you’re with the wrong woman.


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## anonim

keko said:


> Her need for variety is very telling of possible future problems. Today its about sushi's tomorrow it'll be another couple joining you in the bedroom.


from sushi to swinging? That sound a little extreme!


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