# Inside the Minds of Men Who Abuse



## DownByTheRiver

Behind the Veil: Inside the Mind of Men Who Abuse


Domestic violence and unmasking the terror of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.




www.psychologytoday.com


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## ConanHub

Yeah, hopefully this isn't being represented as a man thing.

Anyone born human is prone to being a shyt head.


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## Numb26

Goodie!!! Another "men are evil" thread!!!!


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## ah_sorandy

Numb26 said:


> Goodie!!! Another "men are evil" thread!!!!


Well, we are all knuckle dragging neanderthals! 😁


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## TexasMom1216

You guys would love my father.


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## ConanHub

TexasMom1216 said:


> You guys would love my father.


Just as much as the women who raped me as a child and the one who tried to mutilate my genitals when I was in grade school I'm sure. You and River woman need to wake up to the fact that evil is a very human problem and not isolated to men for f's sake!


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## TexasMom1216

ConanHub said:


> Just as much as the women who raped me as a child and the one who tried to mutilate my genitals when I was in grade school I'm sure. You and River woman need to wake up to the fact that evil is a very human problem and not isolated to men for f's sake!


Did the article say that only men are abusive? Or is it an article that only addresses one side because the psychology is different between the genders? I’m confused why pointing out that evil exists is claiming it’s isolated to one gender. This seems to be something happening in your head.

FWIW, my mother used to push me at my father so he would beat me instead of her. I don’t believe I’ve ever claimed women can’t be evil. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you claim that men are bad too when someone posts about something evil their wife did.


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## ConanHub

TexasMom1216 said:


> Did the article say that only men are abusive? Or is it an article that only addresses one side because the psychology is different between the genders? I’m confused why pointing out that evil exists is claiming it’s isolated to one gender. This seems to be something happening in your head.
> 
> FWIW, my mother used to push me at my father so he would beat me instead of her. I don’t believe I’ve ever claimed women can’t be evil. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you claim that men are bad too when someone posts about something evil their wife did.


River lady consistently insists this is only a male problem and it is at least an equal opportunity sin.

She disagrees that women are as evil, at least in this aspect, as men. I'll challenge her every time she tries to pin this on men alone.

It would take some research on your part to find my posts to women as I've been here much longer than you and have covered quite a lot of issues.

I assure you, I have less tolerance for women being abused but River woman is painting a very false picture and isn't above falsifying stories to prop the falseness up.

People are villains. Not men or women. Both are.


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## Wolfman1968

TexasMom1216 said:


> FWIW, my mother used to push me at my father so he would beat me instead of her. I don’t believe I’ve ever claimed women can’t be evil. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you claim that men are bad too when someone posts about something evil their wife did.


My impression of @ConanHub is that if someone posted about their evil wife, he would discuss that evil INDIVIDUAL.

When someone generalizes about evil done by ANY evil group--male, female, whatever ethnic group, old, young, etc., it is my impression that Conan will typically point out that evil behavior is displayed by ALL groups. So if you haven't seen Conan post about the widespread nature of evil behavior, then you must not be reading the same posts that I read.

The OP did NOT post about an individual man; it is again a generalization about men, or a group of men. So your comparison with an INDIVIDUAL evil wife post does not apply.


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## Numb26

ConanHub said:


> Just as much as the women who raped me as a child and the one who tried to mutilate my genitals when I was in grade school I'm sure. You and River woman need to wake up to the fact that evil is a very human problem and not isolated to men for f's sake!


It's the feminist Three Musketeers sometimes


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## ConanHub

TexasMom1216 said:


> Did the article say that only men are abusive? Or is it an article that only addresses one side because the psychology is different between the genders? I’m confused why pointing out that evil exists is claiming it’s isolated to one gender. This seems to be something happening in your head.
> 
> FWIW, my mother used to push me at my father so he would beat me instead of her. I don’t believe I’ve ever claimed women can’t be evil. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you claim that men are bad too when someone posts about something evil their wife did.


I will add again that you need to research more before making claims.

I've stood up many times when people were making generalized claims about women as well.

If you haven't seen any of these posts, that might not be my defect.


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## TexasMom1216

Wolfman1968 said:


> My impression of @ConanHub is that if someone posted about their evil wife, he would discuss that evil INDIVIDUAL.
> 
> When someone generalizes about evil done by ANY evil group--male, female, whatever ethnic group, old, young, etc., it is my impression that Conan will typically point out that evil behavior is displayed by ALL groups. So if you haven't seen Conan post about the widespread nature of evil behavior, then you must not be reading the same posts that I read.
> 
> The OP did NOT post about an individual man; it is again a generalization about men, or a group of men. So your comparison with an INDIVIDUAL evil wife post does not apply.


Any time I reference an INDIVIDUAL evil, all of you come rushing out to scream “man hater!” The OP posted a general article from a magazine. She did not accuse anyone of anything. Are you implying that studying a group behavior is somehow an attack on men? Have you read the articles you guys post about women? Talk about generalizing every member of a group.

You’re throwing stones in a glass house. And accusing people of things they’re not doing.


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## ConanHub

Numb26 said:


> It's the feminist Three Musketeers sometimes


I don't have problems with true feminists. Persistent man blamers though...😉


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## ConanHub

TexasMom1216 said:


> Any time I reference an INDIVIDUAL evil, all of you come rushing out to scream “man hater!” The OP posted a general article from a magazine. She did not accuse anyone of anything. Are you implying that studying a group behavior is somehow an attack on men? Have you read the articles you guys post about women? Talk about generalizing every member of a group.
> 
> You’re throwing stones in a glass house. And accusing people of things they’re not doing.


River woman has been very consistent with her accusations about men and is very guilty of consistently generalizing men.

You are ignoring that.


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## ConanHub

There are empowered, feminist, and feminine women I very much admire and get along with here.

They don't generalize men into the bad group.


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## Numb26

ConanHub said:


> River woman has been very consistent with her accusations about men and is very guilty of consistently generalizing men.
> 
> You are ignoring that.


Didn't she once say that boys had to be taught not to rape? As if it was a normal thing for boys to do?


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## TexasMom1216

ConanHub said:


> River lady consistently insists this is only a male problem and it is at least an equal opportunity sin.
> 
> She disagrees that women are as evil, at least in this aspect, as men. I'll challenge her every time she tries to pin this on men alone.
> 
> It would take some research on your part to find my posts to women as I've been here much longer than you and have covered quite a lot of issues.
> 
> I assure you, I have less tolerance for women being abused but River woman is painting a very false picture and isn't above falsifying stories to prop the falseness up.
> 
> People are villains. Not men or women. Both are.


I feel like you didn’t read the article but are instead attacking River because of a personal thing. Kind of like these attacks on me as a man hater. The article talks specifically about abusive men. Not about all men, not about abusive women (check child abusers stats, it’s mostly women abusing children, and I disagree with those who say it’s because they have more access to children).

It’s also an option to just ignore the posts that trigger you. I think I’ll take my own advice.


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## TexasMom1216

Numb26 said:


> Didn't she once say that boys had to be taught not to rape? As if it was a normal thing for boys to do?


I don’t believe I’ve ever said that. I honestly hate that, both because it implies rape is natural for men and because it ignores the psychology of rapists. It oversimplifies in a very unhelpful way.


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## ConanHub

TexasMom1216 said:


> I feel like you didn’t read the article but are instead attacking River because of a personal thing. Kind of like these attacks on me as a man hater. The article talks specifically about abusive men. Not about all men, not about abusive women (check child abusers stats, it’s mostly women abusing children, and I disagree with those who say it’s because they have more access to children).
> 
> It’s also an option to just ignore the posts that trigger you. I think I’ll take my own advice.


If River woman were at all balanced or fair, she's not, my response would be more open.


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## ConanHub

TexasMom1216 said:


> I don’t believe I’ve ever said that. I honestly hate that, both because it implies rape is natural for men and because it ignores the psychology of rapists. It oversimplifies in a very unhelpful way.


You didn't but she certainly did.


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## Wolfman1968

TexasMom1216 said:


> Any time I reference an INDIVIDUAL evil, all of you come rushing out to scream “man hater!” The OP posted a general article from a magazine. She did not accuse anyone of anything. Are you implying that studying a group behavior is somehow an attack on men? Have you read the articles you guys post about women? Talk about generalizing every member of a group.
> 
> You’re throwing stones in a glass house. And accusing people of things they’re not doing.


"All of you"?
"You guys"?

What glass house are you referring to that I, personally, live in?
Don't conflate me with "you guys" or other posters.

I was responding to your ONE post about ConanHub, which I felt was an inaccurate description of him.

If you have proof of ME calling you a "man hater" of when you reference an INDIVIDUAL, then bring it. Otherwise, you owe me, as an individual, an apology for lying about me.


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## Numb26

TexasMom1216 said:


> I don’t believe I’ve ever said that. I honestly hate that, both because it implies rape is natural for men and because it ignores the psychology of rapists. It oversimplifies in a very unhelpful way.


Not you, I was talking about DBTR


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## TexasMom1216

Becaus


Wolfman1968 said:


> "All of you"?
> "You guys"?
> 
> What glass house are you referring to that I, personally, live in?
> Don't conflate me with "you guys" or other posters.
> 
> I was responding to your ONE post about ConanHub, which I felt was an inaccurate description of him.
> 
> If you have proof of ME calling you a "man hater" of when you reference an INDIVIDUAL, then bring it. Otherwise, you owe me, as an individual, an apology for lying about me.


I don’t recall referencing an individual’s bad behavior and you specifically posting that I am a man hater. I was defending myself against a group and spoke to the group. If I misspoke about you individually, I apologize.


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## Prodigal

"Basing sex on the Bible" is listed as a form of abuse by the article's author. He doesn't go on to elaborate. I don't recall reading anything in the Bible about abusive sex being okay. 

As to how this article started a her-versus-him argument, sorry - I don't get it. But then I'm just here to comment on the article.


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## wmn1

ConanHub said:


> Yeah, hopefully this isn't being represented as a man thing.
> 
> Anyone born human is prone to being a shyt head.


agreed Conan Women abuse too. It's an individual thing, not a gender thing. I see so many stories about this issue. So Iwent to a DV conference in Utah about 2010. They said men abuse at a 90 to 10 level. So I went back and searched our final restraining order files for an hour in 400 files and it was about 55 to 45 so even the people who put on these conferences lie. After over 20 years on the streets, it's a 2 way issue. It's not one sided so I think this thread is BS. I had to leave the DV section because of the bias but those who think women don't abuse live in glass houses.

I am sorry you got attacked. Those attacking you are ignorant.

I agree with Wolfman and I also think TexasMom is excellent and I this isn't about her. It's about the generalizations by PC people


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## Luckylucky

‘Batterers can stop their behaviour’. 

Yes they can and do. It’s concerning that the controller has such great control over their own behaviour.


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## DownButNotOut

Tell me how this isn't an agenda first post and article?

The 2013 article starts with

Ninety-five percent of reported domestic violence cases are of men abusing women.

In 2010 was this: More than 40% of domestic violence victims are male, report reveals


> About two in five of all victims of domestic violence are men, contradicting the widespread impression that it is almost always women who are left battered and bruised, a new report claims.
> ...
> Men assaulted by their partners are often ignored by police, see their attacker go free and have far fewer refuges to flee to than women, says a study by the men’s rights campaign group Parity.
> ...
> The charity's analysis of statistics on domestic violence shows the number of men attacked by wives or girlfriends is much higher than thought. Its report, Domestic Violence: The Male Perspective, states: "Domestic violence is often seen as a female victim/male perpetrator problem, but the evidence demonstrates that this is a false picture.


So the article is a load of bollocks. It begins with a false pretext and proceeds from there.

@ConanHub is right. This is "Agenda"-first posted by an individual well known for making such posts.


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## BigDaddyNY

PEOPLE can be nasty, period. The only difference I see is men in general can inflict more physical harm.


_Up to 29% of straight men in the U.S. have been the victim of physical violence by an intimate partner. _








I Didn't Know a Man Could Be Abused by a Woman


... until it happened to me.




www.goodhousekeeping.com





_1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have experienced some form of physical violence by an intimate partner. 
1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men have been victims of severe physical violence (e.g. beating, burning, strangling) by an intimate partner in their lifetime. _








NCADV | National Coalition Against Domestic Violence


NCADV is the voice of victims and survivors. We are the catalyst for changing society to have zero tolerance for domestic violence. We do this by affecting public policy, increasing understanding of the impact of domestic violence, and providing programs and education that drive that change.




ncadv.org





_almost 60% of men report that their abuse came from non-physical actions such as emotional or financial abuse. This makes the violence more subtle, and something men are more likely to downplay or suppress. _ 








Male Domestic Abuse is More Common Than You Think


It is time to acknowledge why we don’t take male domestic abuse seriously and how it hurts people of all genders and sexualities.




familyresourcesinc.org





_When researching her book, Taylor only interviewed women who were the sole abusers in the relationship. What she found was that this group was more likely to use nonphysical tactics, such as emotional, verbal and psychological abuse.

“A lot of times, it was about manipulation, control, using the children against the partner or threatening to take the children away.” She also noted that female abusers were less likely to go through the cycle of abuse—there was no honeymoon or remorse period after an incident._








Women as the Abusers


A domestic violence shelter for male victims opens in Dallas bring help to a once overlooked population of survivors.




www.domesticshelters.org


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## 342693

I've never put my hands on a woman...but I have been shoved, punched and had things thrown at me.


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## DownByTheRiver

SCDad01 said:


> I've never put my hands on a woman...but I have been shoved, punched and had things thrown at me.


That's not good. No one should be bullying anyone else.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

Feisty bunch!


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## DownByTheRiver

Always trying to deflect blame and change the subject. Doesn't change a thing.


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## 342693

DownByTheRiver said:


> That's not good. No one should be bullying anyone else.


I was a lot bigger then her…but did tell her if it happened again, the marriage was over.


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## DownByTheRiver

SCDad01 said:


> I was a lot bigger then her…but did tell her if it happened again, the marriage was over.


I don't think anyone should stay in an abusive marriage. Life is too short.


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## DownByTheRiver

Prodigal said:


> "Basing sex on the Bible" is listed as a form of abuse by the article's author. He doesn't go on to elaborate. I don't recall reading anything in the Bible about abusive sex being okay.
> 
> As to how this article started a her-versus-him argument, sorry - I don't get it. But then I'm just here to comment on the article.


Guessing it's referring to stuff like this. And yes, it happens. Of course, women who murder their children often blame that on God talking to them too. Dragging religion into it is pretty common in violent crime (and not just Christianity). 









'Submit to your husbands': Women told to endure domestic violence in the name of God


Church leaders in Australia say they abhor abuse of any kind. But advocates say the church is not just failing to sufficiently address domestic violence, it is both enabling and concealing it.




www.abc.net.au


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## Evinrude58

TexasMom1216 said:


> Did the article say that only men are abusive? Or is it an article that only addresses one side because the psychology is different between the genders? I’m confused why pointing out that evil exists is claiming it’s isolated to one gender. This seems to be something happening in your head.
> 
> FWIW, my mother used to push me at my father so he would beat me instead of her. I don’t believe I’ve ever claimed women can’t be evil. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you claim that men are bad too when someone posts about something evil their wife did.


That explains a whole lotta posts. I’m sorry that happened to you. Most men don’t beat their wives, though.


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## TexasMom1216

Evinrude58 said:


> Most men don’t beat their wives, though.


Most wives don't beat their husbands. But some do, and understanding the psychology behind why those that do horrible things do the things they do helps us normies understand what's going on, recognize warning signs and avoid getting entangled with those people to begin with. Dismissing the study as "man hating" because you don't care for the attitude of the OP is not conducive to productive discussion.


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## DownButNotOut

"man hating" is an emotionally charged term intended to shut down disagreement. This article is agenda driven. When demonstrably false numbers are used as a basis for an article like this one, it perpetuates the stereotype that only men are abusers and only women are victims. How would this article have been different if instead of beginning with the assumption that 95% of domestic violence is men abusing women, it began with a more representative number of a 60/40 split and then discussed the differences in male/female perpetrators and what to look for in each? But that, of course, doesn't fit the author's (or the OP's) narrative.


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## BigDaddyNY

DownButNotOut said:


> "man hating" is an emotionally charged term intended to shut down disagreement. This article is agenda driven. When demonstrably false numbers are used as a basis for an article like this one, it perpetuates the stereotype that only men are abusers and only women are victims. How would this article have been different if instead of beginning with the assumption that 95% of domestic violence is men abusing women, it began with a more representative number of a 60/40 split and then discussed the differences in male/female perpetrators and what to look for in each? But that, of course, doesn't fit the author's (or the OP's) narrative.


The devil is in the details. I don't think that 95% statement is false, but it is misleading. Is says 95% of *reported *case are male on female. Males simply don't report the abuse.


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