# Meeting in Person after Meeting in Online Dating



## Asmarino (Aug 20, 2010)

I posted my profile in an online dating site before some time. After some days I came in contact with a lady who is not near me. We have had several exchange of emails and our relationship seems to go well. We have both concerns and are anxious to meet. 

We live in different countries and agreed to meet in person in a third country for a week. We both arranged our jobs and are planning to do the meeting in December.

We are skyping almost everyday and talking on a lot of issues. We seem to get along on most issues during the discussion. She continuously tells me that she thinks about me every day; and this is affecting her daily routine. I don't feel like that on my side as I am waiting for the personal meeting.

I raised the issue of infatuation and told her she could be in that stage. She said "I know what infatuation is and am sure not in that phase"

I am anxious in meeting her in person. I am 43 and she is 48. 

I am posting this to get some advice on how I should approach the meeting in person? What should my expectations be? Should we have sex on the first meeting? We agreed to stay in the same hotel and the same room. Is it advisable to go ahead like what planned? I am a bit anxious.

Please give me some tips and real life examples from online dating.


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

I wouldn't set your expectations too high, but don't expect the worst either. 

The biggest thing I would caution you on is the idea to stay in the same room. I have 2 reasons for thinking this is a bad idea: one, you don't know her, she could be serial killer or who knows what else; two, this leaves you open to her claiming you raped her, hit her, who knows what else to her, and puts you in a bad position to defend yourself. 

Separate rooms for this first meeting. Same hotel is fine, even a good idea because you can get together more frequently and spend more time together. Just have separate rooms, and use them, not only to protect yourselves, but also to show her your a good guy that isn't just after sex (unless of course that is all you're after, but since you live in different countries, I'm thinking that's not the case.)

I met my boyfriend online. We talked online and on the phone for about 3 weeks before we met in person. We were local to each other, so we had our first date at a local lake, our second date at the local museum the next day, and that was when we knew we were falling in love. In about a week and a half, we will be together for one year.  You can find love online; just be cautious about it.


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## believer (Apr 22, 2008)

I 2nd the post about not staying in the same hotel room - altohough you have been in touch via email & skyping you don't really know that person. Astruck has another excellent point - she could try to claim a rape - you hate to think like that but you need to protect yourself. 

You say you live in different countries - seems like that might make things a bit complicated from the start. Even if you continue to date on line - meeting up might be difficult & expensive? Depending on the countries you live, if you decide to take it a step further - who would move where? Many countries 1 can not just move there start working there is a need for visas, marriage certificates, etc. I would be leary of what this woman is looking for.

Hope your get together goes well but I wouldn't get your hopes up to high & go into it with your eyes wide open.


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## Asmarino (Aug 20, 2010)

Many thanks atruckergirl and believer.
We met yesterday on skype and she raised this issue as a point of discussion. I told her staying in one room is fine with me (before I read the above posts). She said that she has no problem staying inthe same room but would not like to have sex (on the first date). My preference in that case is to have separate rooms for the first 2-3 days and depending on the chemistry to either continue or shift to a single room. We seem to agree on this.

She stressed that sex should not be the central point of the meeting to override all the other reasons for the meeting. She is really thoughtful lady and I agreed with her point of view. 

I agree with you both that staying in two rooms is much a better idea, for safety and also to give time for the chemistry to build.


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