# Wondering if I should give my husband a by...



## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

I had back surgery in May, was going well, but then about a month ago, I apparently broke two screws in my back... now I have to go back in... and am wondering due to my inability, if I should give him a by so to speak. He has a very hi drive and I just don't know what to do. I would rather give him a bi (by) however you say it, than to worry he is cheating :scratchhead: 
Anyone done this with success???


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## Happilymarried25 (Mar 19, 2014)

What is a by?


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## ILuvTheDesserts (Aug 29, 2014)

Nowadays I believe it's also called a "hall pass" ? 

No reason for anyone to have this hall pass or bye IMHO. We marry for better or for worse.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

His hand should do fine until you are up to it.

Me and my wife are separated by distance. Should we start fvcking others because we can't physically be together?

I think not.


We talk and encourage each other and relieve ourselves.

I do not think this is a good idea at all.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

And if he took it how would you feel?

Seems like a disaster of a sh!t test to me.


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## Happilymarried25 (Mar 19, 2014)

Sounds like cheating to me only you would know about it. Both my husband and I have been "out of commission" for a health situation and we found ways to satisfy each other. That's would you should do. He should be there to support you "in sickness and in health" remember the vows you both took?


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

I couldn't even imagine doing this kind of thing. Every time my husband left the house I would be wondering "is he going out to have sex". It would kill me a little bit each time.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

Also to add to my last post. When I was on bed rest with my last pregnancy, sex was not allowed, doctors orders. My husband held up just fine.


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## Longtermer (Oct 1, 2014)

Sex is off the menu through no fault of yours. It would be different of you just didn't want it. Im sure he'd be horrified if you suggested he went elsewhere. Stop worrying and get yourself well so you can pick up where you left off.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

Buy him some magazines or DVDs. Do not open that other door into your marriage.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evenign livelovelaughnow
YOU and only you can decide how you feel about this. My advice is to not give him a "pass" unless you really truly are totally OK with it. It would not be fair to HIM to tell him its OK, but then secretly resent it. 

I think the great majority of women would NOT be OK with this, so if in doubt, don't.

Are you able to do anything for him sexually in your current condition? 

FWIW- while I very much resent my wife not having sex with me when she is healthy, I would have no negative feelings about it at all if it were due to some medical issue.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

We both came from prior sexless relationships, and agreed we never wanted to be in another. We also agreed that we'd have a technically open relationship, so that if circumstances arose where we couldn't or wouldn't have sex (or even wanted to pursue it recreationally), we could go elsewhere, but would discuss it and agree to each instance.

We have taken advantage of this a few times recreationally, and once for a lengthy illness that reduced frequency. It has worked very well for us, but I don't think it would be advisable for most couples. You need to have an extremely good relationship and bond to avoid problems developing, and few issues with jealousy. If this is something to consider for a future situation, you may want to explore the idea well in advance, and even test it by trying swinging together.

My wife had a serious back injury several months ago, and surgery a month ago. However, while this has slowed us down and caused some limitations, there hasn't been such a decline that I want to take advantage of the open relationship terms. She wouldn't mind if I did, though.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

livelaughlovenow said:


> I had back surgery in May, was going well, but then about a month ago, I apparently broke two screws in my back... now I have to go back in... and am wondering due to my inability, if I should give him a by so to speak. He has a very hi drive and I just don't know what to do. I would rather give him a bi (by) however you say it, than to worry he is cheating :scratchhead:
> Anyone done this with success???


Do you usually worry about him cheating? Has he cheated before? Why would you expect he would cheat simply because you are injured and can't have sex for a while? Cheating on you while you're sick is an asshat move - is he really an asshat like that?

Cheating is certainly not a worry that comes to MY mind with my SO if I were sick. If it were the first thing that came to mind, I'd be thinking about how to leave him not how to give him a pass to f*ck other women.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

norajane said:


> Cheating on you while you're sick is an asshat move - is he really an asshat like that?


OMG!!!! I love you!!!:lol::lol::rofl::rofl::iagree::iagree::iagree:

You are damn funny and I know you are serious too.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

<----- Being a crabby ***** is part of my charm...




ConanHub said:


> OMG!!!! I love you!!!:lol::lol::rofl::rofl::iagree::iagree::iagree:
> 
> You are damn funny and I know you are serious too.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

norajane said:


> <----- Being a crabby ***** is part of my charm...


Gave me my laugh of the week!

Seriously OP. Norajane has got the goods on this one.

Maybe you could answer her questions?


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## abe7333 (Sep 27, 2014)

livelaughlovenow said:


> I had back surgery in May, was going well, but then about a month ago, I apparently broke two screws in my back... now I have to go back in... and am wondering due to my inability, if I should give him a by so to speak. He has a very hi drive and I just don't know what to do. I would rather give him a bi (by) however you say it, than to worry he is cheating :scratchhead:
> 
> Anyone done this with success???



Hell no. It's in sickness and health. If he has a high sex drive, let him jerk it off. I did when me and my wife were not able to have see for 5-6 months because of her health.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

> He has a very hi drive and I just don't know what to do. I would rather give him a *BJ* however you say it, than to worry he is cheating.


Fixed it for you! (And for him.)


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