# Having only 1 child



## Adex (Aug 1, 2012)

I always thought that I would have at least 2 children when I was younger. However, it's starting to make sense to me just to have one child. Below are my reasons:

-financially, it would be difficult for us. I plan to send my child and any other children I have to at least private elementary schools and possibly private high schools.
-We both work full time so baby sitters are expensive. 
-Frankly, raising a child is difficult (I have a 3 year old son), and I personally don't like all the work it involves.
-since having our child, my wife's sex drive has decreased. Even though we still have sex about 3 times per week, her desire is not the same as before our child.
-not that I think we ever will, but if we ever divorce, child support for 2 children is a lot more than child support for 1. 

My question is, how many have just had one child. Do you regret or feel ok with your decision? How about those with more than one child. Do you regret or are satisfied with your decision?


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## hawkeye (Oct 6, 2012)

We have one. Same as you, always thought we'd have more, but never really had the urge. Our child is 6 and does great academically and socially. Sometimes I wish she had a sibling to keep her occupied so we wouldn't always have to, but that's a lousy reason to have another kid.


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## Hira (Aug 16, 2012)

No need to worry as babies will bring more luck when they enter in your life. May be new baby will help to eliminate your all worries.


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

I'm seeing this as a trend more and more(1 child), and both my best friend and his wife and our next door neighbors have only one child and are going to stop there.


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## our vision shattered (May 25, 2012)

Take it from an only child, it sucks, i dreamt of a sibling, i grew up spoiled opinionated, entitled into my adulthood, there many only children that.'ll you that it sucks, my 2 cents


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## captainstormy (Jun 15, 2012)

our vision shattered said:


> Take it from an only child, it sucks, i dreamt of a sibling, i grew up spoiled opinionated, entitled into my adulthood, there many only children that.'ll you that it sucks, my 2 cents


I guess it depends on your upbringing. I'm an only child too. Certainly not spoiled or feel entitled. We lived on a farm and the phrase "If you don't work, you don't eat" was litteral around my house.

I never wanted a sibling growing up, even if it would have made the farm work easier. Might have been because my parents divorced and my mother and I moved onto my grandparents farm when I was 3.

Personally I never thoght about having kids when I was younger. I find the idea kicking around in my head now. Defenatly only 1 though. I can't imagine paying for 2.


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## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

I find two easier and more fun than one. I think I've been really lucky with my girls' personalities though, they get along so well. 

I have several friends with only one child, and it looks lonely to me, but that's probably because I loved having siblings as a child and my daughters have so much fun together. 

What does your wife think?


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## hubbyfetish (Oct 2, 2012)

Adex said:


> -financially, it would be difficult for us. I plan to send my child and any other children I have to at least private elementary schools and possibly private high schools.
> -We both work full time so baby sitters are expensive.
> -Frankly, raising a child is difficult (I have a 3 year old son), and I personally don't like all the work it involves.
> -since having our child, my wife's sex drive has decreased. Even though we still have sex about 3 times per week, her desire is not the same as before our child.
> -not that I think we ever will, but if we ever divorce, child support for 2 children is a lot more than child support for 1.


Other then the last reason (which is/was not a reason I would ever consider), have you talked to your wife and does she feel the same way?

I like how you have thought things through, I just wish that everyone would do this.

As far as her desire not being the same....have you tried to spice things up? You can get lots of ideas from this site. I know that my wife and I have both benefited from what I have read/learned on her from others.

We have 1 daughter (18 now) and neither of us have ever said that we wish we would have had more. It just seemed that one was the perfect number for us. We have a close family, she has lots of cousins and since we are really close to my wifes family - she always was around her cousins.

Our daughter never once has said that she wished she had a sibling. Is our daughter spoiled, some would say yes and some would say no. We put ourselves in a situation where we could provide everything that our child ever needed. Those that don't know us...yeah they say she is spoiled. 

What they don't know is that she did her chores growing up, she took care of her responsibilites. She never had a paying job outside of high school, that can be a job on its own now-a-days. She studied and had perfect grades. She volunteered at the local animal hospitals or Vets office. That paid off for us, she is going to school to be a Vet and because of her hard work - she earned scholarships and we will not have to pay one dime for her education.


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## Liam (Nov 13, 2009)

Our son is almost 10 and he is an only child. Taking everything into consideration, we are completely happy with just one. We are only in our early thirties so the door isn't completely closed on having any more, but I think its highly unlikely. Starting all over again with a baby seems very daunting now!  

I don't know how old you and your wife are, but your son is only 3 so I say enjoy him for the next few years. At the moment, it makes complete sense why you don't want another so I don't think you should stress about it. Maybe keep the door open, but you have more than enough to keep you busy at the moment.


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## Tikii (Jun 21, 2012)

I grew up as an only child, and HATED it. I plan to have more than one child, but will not do so without being able to afford them. If money is an issue, it isn't fair to the children to have more than you feel can provide for at the level you want to provide at.


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

My wife is unable to have children and now that I am into my mid 40's I told her I do not want any children(by adoption), so I guess we will always be in that _"non-parenting club"._


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I have two only child friends and I have always found them to be mature for their age and incredibly considerate of other people.

I would imagine that it may be a problem when caring for their parents since the responsibility can't be shared with other siblings.

In any case, it is possible to bring up an only child that is considerate of its environment and the other people in it.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I have one.I will only ever have one.He's a good boy and doesn't have a spoiled bone in his whole body.It's all in how you raise them.

Never had a need for a hoard of babies.One was all I ever wanted.if I was ever interested in another child around,I'd adopt...no sense in creating another baby when there are so many unwanted ones out there already.


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## Adex (Aug 1, 2012)

My wife also wanted a 2nd child, but recently started thinking one is good enough because it's difficult to find a babysitter and she likes working full time. 

It's a tough call either way. One thing though, is that I'm not going to base my decision off of what my son would think, meaning if he will be lonely, sad, or would want a sibling. I'm basing my decision on factors that matter more such as finances and the logistics of having a second child.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Adex said:


> I'm not going to base my decision off of what my son would think, meaning if he will be lonely, sad, or would want a sibling. I'm basing my decision on factors that matter more such as finances and the logistics of having a second child.


Finances and logistics aside, your child is a human being. Granted, he doesn't have voting rights in major family decisions, such as having another child. But if he tells you he wants a "baby brubber," chances are he's trying to communicate that he is lonely. Make sure he has lots of interaction time with other kids his age and if he wants to get into sports/hobbies, encourage and support him.

I was an only child. It was awful. However, the quality of parenting I received was hideous. Those two people had no business caring for a house plant, let alone a child. 

As long as your son is happy and flourishing and receiving love from his parents, there is nothing wrong with being an "only."


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## 67flh (Sep 26, 2011)

my daughter always said she wished she would of had a bro or sis,it wasn't to be though.


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## Shoshannah (Aug 29, 2012)

Having two is far better than one. That way they both have each other through life, as children usually outlive their parents by quite a few years. As adult siblings, they may be able to support one another through divorce, problems raising their own children, and other challenges. Likewise, they will hopefully always have one another to share in the joys life can bring as well.


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

My daughter is an only child (15yo) and hates it...always has. Wish I could have given her a sibling.

I have 3 siblings and wouldn't have traded them for anything - had so much fun growing up (and on a LOT less money than people have now.)

Other people's opinions really don't matter since they don't have to raise your child nor live his life.


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