# 15 years



## ShyEnglishman

My wife and I have lived together now for 15 years. Married in law for the last 6 of those years. 2 kids, all very happy overall. A definite success.

Why is it a success? Well several reasons really, but only a handful of big reasons.

Probably the most important reason, we both know that life is not a fairy tale. Life is hard work. Sometimes it is devastatingly painful, sometimes its embarrassing, but generally it is good.

We're not in it alone. Two people fighting side by side is more than twice the force of two individuals. We talk. Sometimes we argue, everybody does. Anyone who says otherwise is either lying or very naive, but whatever form it takes, communication is essential.

Its a myth that if you're in love, everything comes naturally. It doesn't. You have to work at it.

I tell my wife every single day without fail how much I love her, and that she is gorgeous. My wife tells me how much she loves me and she even tells me I'm still handsome even though I've piled on the pounds and grown hair where I shouldn't and lost some hair from where it should be since we met more than 15 years ago. I know she is lying about my looks, but that's all part of it. Looking out for each other.


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## Ikaika

Welcome to this small (and yes very tiny) enclave on TAM. Please feel free to give us events as they arise. Provide us with your random rants on what is working and what you found does or does not work in your marriage. 

Again welcome aboard.


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## mablenc

It not the arguing that's a problem in a marriage it's how you discuss a problem and how you fix or make up that's important. I think that when you lose respect for each other, that's when arguing becomes a threat to a marriage.

My 2cents.


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## ShyEnglishman

mablenc said:


> It not the arguing that's a problem in a marriage it's how you discuss a problem and how you fix or make up that's important. I think that when you lose respect for each other, that's when arguing becomes a threat to a marriage.
> 
> My 2cents.


I always say, and this applies in every aspect of life, not just marriage, that problems and mistakes are normal. Success is not about avoiding mistakes, its knowing how to swiftly identify a problem and what you do to put it right.


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## Convection

ShyEnglishman said:


> We're not in it alone. Two people fighting side by side is more than twice the force of two individuals.


Concur; that very fact is in my signature block.

Hope to read more from you. And welcome to the LTS Forum.


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## imhiswifey

I agree 100% with Shy!

I have been married to my husband 9 years now, but together for 15 years. 

I met my husband on a month long trip to London, UK when I was 18, my husband was 22. He was in London for work that would be done at the end of July. We hung out a lot in London and he convinced me to not go back home to Canada with my friends at the end of my trip but to extend my holiday and go to Irleand with him. My parents were hesitant to let me go but he talked them into allowing me to go. 

So I stayed an additional month in Ireland with him but at the end of August when I had to go back home it was the most gut wrenching experience of my life, something I never want to live again. 

I agree with the OP in that long lasting relationships take work. I moved to London in Sept. 1999 for university, at the persistence of my husband and have lived here ever since. He was basically waiting at the airport for me and we have been inseparable every since. We have worked so hard for so long to make our relationship work - overseas long distance is NOT fun!! And I have sacrificed a lot - my money, my family etc but I would not trade any of it for anything. My husband is my soulmate, my foundation without him I would not be the person I am today and I know he feels the same for me. 

Must be the water in the UK because I couldn't find a guy like this in Canada for the life of me!


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