# Need some advice



## Tainted Halo (Jun 14, 2012)

Its been about 3 weeks being separated from my husband living in my own home with my kids.. So last week we were discussing about us and H said that he wasn't in a hurry to get back together and not in a hurry to divorce. Also I'm planning in returning back to collage for LPN and just a few minutes ago we were discussing about qualifying for loans and he was like you can qualify for single parent loans told him there's a chance I probably wont because I'm not officially single meaning we're still legally married. 

So H said well we gotta do what we need to get you grants..etc.. meaning to divorce so I can qualify because he didn't have x amount of money to help pay for collage, threw me off was not expecting him to say that. Now I have this awful gut feeling he's using this as an excuse to not be married anymore rather just being straight forward about it. And yes he's still in a long distance PA/EA with the OW about 2 months in. Not sure what to think anymore any hopes of R just flew out the window now


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Yuck.
If he's still seeing the OW, I think he's trying to manipulate you into getting what he wants and still "remain friends" with you. Coward.
And do you want to R with a man who you know is seeing OW? I know it hurts, but love isn't supposed to hurt.


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## meowmers (Dec 10, 2009)

I agree. Things will go nowhere as long as he is still seeing the OW. Stand strong and remember you deserve to be loved and not just left with love's leavings.


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## Tainted Halo (Jun 14, 2012)

Pluto2 said:


> Yuck.
> If he's still seeing the OW, I think he's trying to manipulate you into getting what he wants and still "remain friends" with you. Coward.
> And do you want to R with a man who you know is seeing OW? I know it hurts, but love isn't supposed to hurt.



Yeah as soon as he mentioned his idea, I had a gut feeling he was trying to manipulate me to get his divorce rather just being up front about it. I have known this man for 15 years and I can't believe how much he's changed in the 2 months talking to this woman. If he doesn't want to be married & work it out that's fine I'll hold the f**king door for him and he can go get bent..


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## lulubelle (Jun 28, 2012)

Pluto2 said:


> Yuck.
> If he's still seeing the OW, I think he's trying to manipulate you into getting what he wants and still "remain friends" with you. Coward.
> And do you want to R with a man who you know is seeing OW? I know it hurts, but love isn't supposed to hurt.


i agree. if there's an OW in the picture, then he is stringing you along. 3 people does not a marriage make.


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## Tainted Halo (Jun 14, 2012)

meowmers said:


> I agree. Things will go nowhere as long as he is still seeing the OW. Stand strong and remember you deserve to be loved and not just left with love's leavings.


Thanks, I will I really need to do the NC and go dark the sooner the better for me. No more asking him on dates or family dates with our kids.. I hope one day Karma comes a knocking on his door!!


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## lulubelle (Jun 28, 2012)

you could always get student loans for college even if you are married. maybe not the best thing to do, but i would be tempted to confront him on his real reason for giving D as an option.

oh, and don't worry sweetie, Karma will bite him in the a$$ when he least expects it.


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## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

Tainted Halo said:


> Yeah as soon as he mentioned his idea, I had a gut feeling he was trying to manipulate me to get his divorce rather just being up front about it. I have known this man for 15 years and I can't believe how much he's changed in the 2 months talking to this woman. If he doesn't want to be married & work it out that's fine I'll hold the f**king door for him and he can go get bent..


My estranged husband is just like this. I've known him for 13 years and the person I see now is not the same man. It's like my husband went away somewhere and this guy took his place. In my case this change in him has been since his EA left her husband. How convenient!

Just go NC on him. Take care of yourself and your kids. I know its easier said than done, I'm going through the exact same thing as you. Keep your chin up girl!


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