# Housework/Tidying - I always screw up



## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

I dont mean to but my wife doesnt seem to understand this. But, I've always got a habit of making a mess in the house and it drives her mad.

I really try not to but I just dont notice the mess most of the time....

Anyone else like this?

Yesterday my wife cleaned the floor and I've got it dirty. I really didnt think. Shes not happy to say the least...


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

Psycho candy, believe it or not it is my wife that makes the mess and can not clean up after herself or the kids.

She has gotten better over the years, but still a slob.

You just have to clean up after yourself, the dishes, the laundry, ec.

it is not that hard. I read your post about the dirty floor, get a mop dude and clean it up.

I admit I was sloppy for a kid, but we had a large family and we had to put things away in order for us to find something.

then I joined the Army and that made me even cleaner...now I do not run my house like a drill sargent, I just want it clean.

this is something you ahve to work on mentally like your jealousy.

It is a mental effort. Put the scissors away, put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher or wash them, dry and put away.

Bust out the vacum and vacum the carpet without your wife asking.

It's all mental....really, maybe write yourself a list of some things to do that is for your wife then follow the list. get into a routine.


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## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

GAsoccerman said:


> Psycho candy, believe it or not it is my wife that makes the mess and can not clean up after herself or the kids.
> 
> She has gotten better over the years, but still a slob.
> 
> ...


GA,

I think my wife thinks I'm the slob in our house !!!

I dont think I'm that bad, just not great. She thinks that if something is a mess that I've seen it and think sod it I cant be bothered. Its not this at all, I genuinely do not do it on purpose, and I havent even noticed.

Anyway, floor cleaned now and shes a bit happier.

Maybe I do need to make a list cos otherwise I just cant get into remembering everyhintg. I know that sounds a bit sad...


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## GPR (Jan 3, 2009)

psychocandy said:


> GA,
> 
> I think my wife thinks I'm the slob in our house !!!
> 
> ...



Well, think about what she has complained about before? 

You've been together a while... by now, you should have an idea of what really gets her going. And that's probably half the reason she's upset. Is because she's said it to you before, and you do it again.... you need to register these things, learn from them, and try fix them going forward!!!


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## Chopblock (Mar 21, 2008)

Remember that if its a big deal to her, its a big deal to her. Even if the mess is (by say... my standards) not really a mess, that doesn't matter because your wife thinks its a mess.

I bet what is angering her MOST of all, is your "I just don't SEE it" attitude. I know from experience that she views that as a lame excuse, and an attempt by you to duck responsibility for your actions.

I also know from experience that one of the most effective ways to make your partner happy is to show that you:

1) care about her feelings,

2) are LISTENING to her, and most important of all

3) will MAKE GOOD on your word.

Talk is free, that is why there is so much of it. But if you say "I know I'm bad about this and will do better in future" and then FOLLOW UP on that by doing better, you will have a very happy wife.


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## lostangel78 (Jan 2, 2009)

I love my husband dearly but he seems to have that same problem as you pschocandy. I believe he honestly does not mean to leave a mess sometimes.But is yor wife nagging you constantly? I used to do that but found no good results so I started telling my husband how much I appreciated him taking the time to do this or do that, and I tell him that when he helps out and cleans up after himself then I don't have double the work to do and later on I just might have the extra energy to "get freaky". I know it sounds like I'm using sex here to get what I want but it's true I really do have more energy. Also, he has noticed the more he cleans up and helps out the kids are doing more. And having 4 kids to clean up after is exhausting.


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## lostangel78 (Jan 2, 2009)

Also, one more thing...I always let him know that when he cleans up after himself or others he shows me that he appreciates me and that I am not the maid


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## martino (May 12, 2008)

My problem with wife is clutter. She doesn't understand that the more things you have around, piling up everywhere, the more difficult it is to manage.


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## MsLady (Dec 1, 2008)

Psychocandy, you sound like you are making excuses for yourself, which is probably what's upsetting her the most.

If you truly don't notice when you make a mess, then your best bet is to make sure to clean for 15-30 minutes each day when you get home. Then you're guaranteed to have cleaned up some of your mess, even if you didn't notice you made it. Just schedule a time for yourself and walk around the house and really pay attention to what's messy, dirty or needs some work. Your wife will be over the moon. You might still be making messes, but she'll also see you cleaning them.

Or maybe anytime you move from a spot, before you leave that spot, really look at it and assess it's condition. If it's messy, don't leave the spot without fixing the mess.


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