# How to help?



## MyselfAgain (Apr 21, 2012)

A friend just went to court and got the divorce his wife wanted. Even though he wouldn't take her back, he is having trouble getting past her plans with her new boyfriend, and how she is moving on seemingly easily after their years together. We are in different states so I can't be there to comfort him, and just listening over the phone sounds, well, like a lot of silence. What can I do or say to help him get through this?
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## UpnDown (May 4, 2012)

Send him here?
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## MyselfAgain (Apr 21, 2012)

He's been here...taking a break. Thanks though, Up...
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## UpnDown (May 4, 2012)

Sadly not much else you yourself could do, but if you figure it out send some of it my way 
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## Reese100 (Jun 19, 2012)

It's really important that he take care of himself and make sense of his feelings. This article can help him do that and it also teaches a self-help technique that he can use immediately.

Francine Shapiro, Ph.D.: How To Take Back Your Power After A Divorce


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

UpnDown said:


> Send him here?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Not a bad suggestion.....this place has helped me alot.

With some things better than my therapy.
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## MyselfAgain (Apr 21, 2012)

Thanks for the suggestion, Reese...I don't think there is anything new for gim in the article, but i appreciate it all the same. That kind of therapy is new to me, very interesting!

I guess when it comes down to it, listening and just letting him know I care are the only things I can do. There is something to be said for keeping friends literally close at a time like this....
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## Reese100 (Jun 19, 2012)

It depends upon how long the pain goes on. Here's another article about the therapy and the self-help techniques. It seems too many people suffer for too long without even knowing that there are things that can help them. The tightrope we walk is to support friends but not enable the pain to continue for too long. Knowing that there are ways to deal with the suffering, and starting to use the self-help techniques can really help.

Can You Benefit from EMDR Therapy? | Psych Central


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