# Need some guidance



## jenny123 (Mar 21, 2012)

I'm new to this forum and need some guidance. My H told me last week that he wants a separation (I will get into details when I have more time). I begged and pleaded for counseling and to try and work things out. He refuses. I am absolutely devastated.
He says he will support me and our 2 kids (teenagers). He wants to be "alone". Meanwhile he's still in the house
Fast forward to the issue.....we moved to NC from NY 5 and a half years ago. All of my family is there. I decided to get away and go to NY for Easter with the kids. He agreed to this. My concern is, do I have to protect myself somehow so he doesn't turn around and make it seem like I am taking the kids away from him? He is sneaky and I don't trust him. This is all new to me and I can't think straight. 
There is no legal action taken yet for the separation.


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## Jayb (Mar 6, 2012)

Can you trust him enough to talk about your plans? Is your relationship even that amicable at this time? You are just going on a weekend trip. How could that be seen as taking the children away when everyone anticipates you and your children returning home?

Per your state's guidelines, you can agree to informal or formal separation.

I feel for you because it hurts much more when only 1 party is willing to take the chance and do the work necessary to save a marriage. There may be many reasons for this. 

That being said, trust is a huge issue. Otherwise, you'll be spinning your wheels, going nowhere.


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