# how was your sex life right before separation



## vivea (Jan 22, 2011)

Whether you separated from your other half or the other half separated from you I was wondering if sex life has anything to do with it.

My sex life was fabulous ,we never had a problem in that department,we even had a steamy sex the night before he dropped the bomb on me .That is why i was so dumbfounded.


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

When I separated from my ex, we had no sex life at all. I hated having sex with him, I avoided it whenever I could. But I do know some people who had sex right up until it happened, including one woman who told her husband right after they were done that she wanted a divorce. 

I think it really depends on why you want the separation and how you feel about the other person.


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## an-ezcatch (Mar 10, 2011)

this is a hard topic to figure out for me. - basically I feel that the physical contact and emotional relationship should stay active. IF not then you open yourself up for even deeper separation - I know I need that at all times, even when we aren't getting along (short term) the intimacy is so important - Just think its dangerous to give sex up while there is turmoil and confusion - I say work every available path to your mate. Stay in touch as much as possible, with out being used.


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## vivea (Jan 22, 2011)

Wow I asked this Q. month and a half ago.Thanks for bumping it up. 

I definitely plan on using that "tool" when we get back together .


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

:smthumbup: My husband and I had amazing sex even when he was drinking during the summer. In fact some of the BEST sex was in the past year! It was incredible!

Even a few times after separation it was great. That's why in the beginning of our being separated I was so hopeful that we could at least have fun and "date". I thought the separation would actually help our marriage. 

But unfortunately I guess the booze eventually caught up with my husband's libido. Now he hardly kisses me hello and doesn't seem to care if we have sex or not. In fact, he seems annoyed if I inquire about it. 

Too bad because I look as good if not better than when we separated and I'd definitely be into some good sex but lately it's been pretty sad. 

I guess I'll have to keep myself busy.


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## less_disgruntled (Oct 16, 2010)

Yeah, this is why I don't get so many of the "nice guys" complaining. My wife and I had sex the day before we had our apparently terminal blow-out (for the record she blew up, not me). The day. It wasn't super-steamy but it was fun. And I haven't felt all that sex-starved, either. Which is part of the reason I worry that a lot of the advice around here is one-sided.


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## AmImad (Jan 28, 2011)

Is it really bad that we had the best sex EVER after he walked out, I decided that I could still have him.. and I did.. then I lorded it up and asked if he was going to tell her... *sigh*

Not had it since, don't plan on it, but this weekend I am going to 'try' and look amazing... and flirt, make him wonder..


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## DjF (Nov 24, 2010)

some threads are worthless without pics....

just kidding...well almost....been awhile for me...we had sex a few times between the time she told me she was moving out and when she finally did...it was good but without much intimacy...now since she moved out, we've slept together twice and it was "rock my world" good....intimacy...love...everything it is suppose to be...

hmmm, wonder if she is working today....


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## vivea (Jan 22, 2011)

Hmmm we haven't had any since he separated from me...no idea how it feels....we could have done it this one time after the separation news..we had to share the bed one night and we had an amazing talk that night,when we went to bed he leaned over and kisses me in a really gentle and passionate way ...seemed to me that he was waiting on me to take the next step but i just couldn't , I turned my back on him and we just spooned and snuggled. I was totaly satisfied with that,it gave me more than sex would have.
Honestly I was so devastated and destroyed after he walked out that sex was the last thing on my mind.


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## remmons (Dec 20, 2010)

Sex? What is that? During my last MC with my wife, she had mentioned that she could care less if she ever had sex again. This made my heart sink. We had great sex (or so I thought) but then her depression took over her life, along with her having an EA (which I wouldn't doubt if she had a little on the side).


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## JustAGirl (Oct 1, 2010)

Been separated a month (today) and haven't had sex in a year....
One year, we had sex FOUR times...yeah, I kept track! LOL

I don't know what a "sex life" was at this point....


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Hmmm... I look at things in a few phases. I figured out in August that things were likely not going to work out. Until that point, our sex life was in a once a week to once a month sort of schedule. This was mostly on her, as I had gotten tired of being rejected. 

The last time we had sex was in September, and we didn't separate till mid February. I get the sense that if I wanted to initiate sex, it would have been accepted, but I didn't think that was fair to her. False hope, using her, etc...


JAG, I would say that at 4 times in one year, keeping track was likely not too difficult (unfortunately!). 

C


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## JustAGirl (Oct 1, 2010)

PBear said:


> JAG, I would say that at 4 times in one year, keeping track was likely not too difficult (unfortunately!).
> 
> C


Smarty! LOL :moon:


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

No sex in a year!  Damn..I don't even want to go there! 

Thank goodness for toys...I don't know if I could last a year..:slap:


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

Freak On a Leash said:


> No sex in a year!  Damn..I don't even want to go there!
> 
> Thank goodness for toys...I don't know if I could last a year..:slap:


W took her toys, and a box of condoms, think she may be a little like you


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Crankshaw said:


> W took her toys, and a box of condoms, think she may be a little like you


Yeah, I was stupid and left our bag of toys at his house. After our last "session" together I've come to the conclusion I need to get them back. It's hard to believe that HE bought all those toys over two years ago for Valentine's Day. How things change..

Don't need condoms. For one, I don't plan on engaging in that activity with anyone else but my husband. Two, I've had my tubes tied. Highly recommended. :smthumbup:


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

Freak On a Leash said:


> Yeah, I was stupid and left our bag of toys at his house. After our last "session" together I've come to the conclusion I need to get them back. It's hard to believe that HE bought all those toys over two years ago for Valentine's Day. How things change..


The toys & condoms were all in her top draw of the dresser, so she couldn't not forget to take them.



> Don't need condoms. For one, I don't plan on engaging in that activity with anyone else but my husband. Two, I've had my tubes tied. Highly recommended. :smthumbup:


No idea who she plans on having sex with, all I know is they can save having to clean up a mess 

(edit, I think the photos were in the same draw, jsyk)


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Crankshaw said:


> all I know is they can save having to clean up a mess )


Ohhh...I could say something REALLY crass here....:lol:


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## vivea (Jan 22, 2011)

> I've had my tubes tied. Highly recommended.


Yeah H. had the big V. in March last year so we can finally enjoy stress free sex...never really got to enjoy it  .So many things happened after that...

Not a big toy fan I have to say,nothing replaces the real thing for me ...meaning not the equipment  but the emotional satisfaction from being with your loved one. Most of the time my physical need comes with the emotional and if I do only the physical I get really cranky and lonely. I wish toys will work for me especially in a moment like that...but i feel i'd rather not do anything than that. I really don't get excited about it.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Well, getting "backed up" makes me pretty cranky. I'd prefer the "real thing" but the last time was rather lacking emotionally so I figure "what the heck?" Same result without the hassle. 

Maybe I really WAS meant to be a guy. :rofl:

For a long time my husband and I had no real emotional connection with our sex so I often "improvised". Then we "reconciled" two years ago and the sex was the BEST EVER. We were SO into each other. That was pretty much until fairly recently. 

Now it's gone again. Damn, I feel like my life is a damn rollercoaster. 

My husband promised that he would get a vasectomy when he hit 40. Well, he reneged and I was the pill and couldn't see the point of being on it. I DEFINITELY did not want more than two children and the idea of getting pregnant with a third horrified me. I know of 3 people whose husband's got a vasectomy and they got pregnant anyway!

So I got the tubes tired when I was 38. Good choice. I told my H that "Now I can fool around" :smthumbup:

I think he thought I was serious..


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

Freak On a Leash said:


> Ohhh...I could say something REALLY crass here....:lol:


but you wont


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

You daring me dude? :rofl:


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## JustAGirl (Oct 1, 2010)

Freak On a Leash said:


> No sex in a year!  Damn..I don't even want to go there!
> 
> Thank goodness for toys...I don't know if I could last a year..:slap:


Let's put it this way....just had to get a new "toy" cause I wore the other one out! lol


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## AmImad (Jan 28, 2011)

Rampant Rabbit and a lifetime supply of duracell!


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## JustAGirl (Oct 1, 2010)

AmImad said:


> Rampant Rabbit and a lifetime supply of duracell!


"Lifetime" being the key word it seems lol


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Yeah the batteries in mine ran out too..and I was having great sex with my husband! I guess I need the lifetime supply now that I'm not. 

I need to stop over this weekend and pick it up. I assume he wont' be using it.


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## JustAGirl (Oct 1, 2010)

Freak On a Leash said:


> Yeah the batteries in mine ran out too..and I was having great sex with my husband! I guess I need the lifetime supply now that I'm not.
> 
> I need to stop over this weekend and pick it up. I assume he wont' be using it.


:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

Freak On a Leash said:


> You daring me dude? :rofl:


not at all !


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## DjF (Nov 24, 2010)

I don't think I'd want to get on Freak's bad side...being male and all...!!!


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

DjF said:


> I don't think I'd want to get on Freak's bad side...being male and all...!!!


Oh, I don't know. I am always into getting a good spanking when I've been naughty. :FIREdevil::awink: :moon:

And yes, if called upon I'll be glad to give as well as receive. 

What? You think this name was chosen by a random accident? :rofl:


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## DjF (Nov 24, 2010)

you scare me...yet intrigue me at the same time...


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

:lol::rofl: That sounds like something my husband would say! 

I'll tell you this. I'm not boring. Never been accused of that. I'm like a red hot Ferrari. A LOT of maintenance and very high strung and the cost of a tune up is high..But man, oh man, you'll have a great time going for a ride! :smthumbup:


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## DjF (Nov 24, 2010)

how about a test drive???...lol...

I'm a low maintanance red neck teacher...no Ferrari here...more like a tractor...you'll be plowed afterwards!!!


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

DjF said:


> how about a test drive???...lol...
> 
> I'm a low maintanance red neck teacher...no Ferrari here...more like a tractor...you'll be plowed afterwards!!!


I LIKE THAT! :smthumbup: :lol:

_*I will show no shame
I live and die for this
And if I come off soft
Then chew on this

Are you scared?

So throw a finger in the air and let me see where you're at
Say hey hey
Let me hear where your at and say hey hey
I'm givin it back, so say hey hey
Show me some metal and say
Hey hey hey hey
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Gat!!!!!
F*uck all y'all

I like AC/DC and ZZ Top
Bocephus, Beasties and the kings of rock
Skynyrd, Seger, Limp, Korn, the Stones
David Allen Coe and no show Jones
Yeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh
Pass that bottle around
Got the rock from Detroit
Soul from Motown
The underground stoned fuc*kin pimp
With tracks that mack and slap back the whack
Never gay, no way, I don't play with a*ss
But watch me rock with Liberace flash
Punk rock, The clash
Boy bands are trash
I like Johnny Cash and Grand Master Flash!*_

Damn, I LOVE that song! :smthumbup:


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