# Desperate to share



## enjayithsmay (Aug 22, 2012)

Hello all,

This is my first post. I can't talk to anyone about my situation for various reasons but it is so painful to be living a lie alone. Maybe this will help. I am absolutely not in love with my husband but he is with me. We are so crazy in debt that that it will be financially impossible to consider leaving for about 5 years. We get along ok for the most part. The bad thing is having to force myself to have sex with him which I don't want to do. He has said that if I try to leave him, "he will destroy me." Basically, he will try to get custody. Because of all the debt, and him making so much more, I wouldn't be able to support my children yet. I have been a stay-at-home mom and am just now going back to work. The reason why I feel so much guilt and the reason why we are in so much debt is that we adopted (after costly infertility treatments) due to my husband's infertility. I wouldn't change a thing because I have the most perfect children that we both adore more than anything. However, I feel so isolated. Also, we don't have any friends in this area where he has to live due to his job. Anyway, sorry to ramble but I just wanted to get this off my chest. Thanks for "listening."


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## bluelaser (May 26, 2012)

enjayithsmay said:


> He has said that if I try to leave him, "he will destroy me." Basically, he will try to get custody.


That sounds really bad 

What caused the breakdown in your relationship? Debt?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Izzie (Aug 17, 2012)

Sorry to hear that. I think there are millions of people in your situation. Sometimes it's good to vent


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## River1977 (Oct 25, 2010)

His threat is not keeping you there. Your fear is keeping you there. Plus, no man who loves his wife threatens her like that. He just wants to exert control over you and he's enjoying all the power.

If you don't want to have sex with him, then don't. I surely wouldn't. Sleep in another room. Sleep on the couch. That's what my mother did. Finally, after all the years of abuse and control, he got the message and left.


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