# Undecided!!!



## Steve69 (Feb 3, 2018)

Hello Everyone,

Im having alot of problems with my wife when it comes to financials and her children (my step-children).

Me and my wife discussed on how to make her children help out around the house more, cause most of the time they dont. My wife teaches 1st grade for an elementrary school now for over 16 years. I work for the city doing irrigation. Now her children is 25, which is now married and lives in Hawaii with her husband in the military. Her son which is 22 now was living with us until an recent issue and then her 16 year old which is in my eyes, lazy and mulnipulative. 

Now my issue at hand was me and my wife decided to put a chore list on the refrigerator for them. but yet day after day I would come home and have to clean the whole house. Well one night, me and my wife were arguing about how she does not support nor enforce anything with me. Well during the discussion, my step son 22 which lives here free but yet has a fulltime job, came out of his room and grabbed me by shirt and told me not to talkto him mother nor any women as i did. Well it turned into a fist fight and during this all my wife got hurt. Afterwards i was goona call the police on him but didnt for I dont know why? Anyhow I told my wife hes not aloud back over here until he apologizes and shows respect. So then he left but yet that weekend mywife tells him to come back without any talking with me about it. I feel like she cradles the kids to much either by giving them money when they have thier own,but yets keeps putting us in the whole. kinda like now, my wife is working two jobs, to help them out. I think they are playing me and my good heart. Of course they are all happy when im giving, but when i dont, its another story. I bought my 16 year old step daughter a 5k car for her 16th birthday, and the deal was, shes responsible for her gas and own insurance... And yes she works part time so she should be able to uphold her agreement, but yet again, recently she complained to her mom, that she couldnt, so my wife tells our insurance agent that the 16yr old drives my car and i drive the 16yr olds car, so in return, her car payment goes down by 150.00 and mine goes up by that amount. My wife and argue almost every day, either over her kids or how she says i dont spend any time with her....Hmm funny huh?? cause shes working two jobs all the time not me, and every summer she goes on a vacation with someone other than me... i get stuck her working and taking care of everything...

So my question, could i be mis-reading this...
I asked my wife to goto counsling, but her response is " I did nothing wrong".... its temper tantrums over and over...

Please anyone tell me what you think.

Thanks.....
Steve


----------



## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Why stay? 

Seriously?

Is the ***** that good?

Wait a minute you probably haven't had sex in awhile or very frequently.

Decission time.


----------



## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

may i ask whose home is it.....did she move into yours, is this a home that is jointly owned?
when did she divorce the father ? and married you?


----------



## Steve69 (Feb 3, 2018)

We both rent this house together... and she was married to her ex for 23 years and we we got married on 11/12/13


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I have some questions to help get a more complete understanding...

How many hours a week do each of you work, your wife and you?

What percentage of your joint income does your wife earn?

Does she get any child support?



Steve69 said:


> I asked my wife to goto counsling, but her response is " I did nothing wrong".... its temper tantrums over and over...


The answer to that is that it's not about her or you doing anything wrong, it's just that the two of you cannot seem to coordinate and compromise, so you could use some help in that area.


----------



## Steve69 (Feb 3, 2018)

We both work 40+ hours and yes she gets child support..


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Steve69 said:


> We both work 40+ hours and yes she gets child support..


What percentage of your joint income does your wife earn?


----------



## Steve69 (Feb 3, 2018)

i would say a little more than I do, but remember she works two jobs by choice...


----------



## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

So what exactly is in this for you again?
I mean, other than headaches and BS that is.


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Ahe takes a vacation every summer without you?! Lol. Helluva wife.

How often do you two have sex? Once a year, or twice?

I'd move out


----------



## tom72 (Nov 4, 2017)

Probably see you in the infidelity section soon


----------



## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Explain to your wife that her options are a counselor or a divorce lawyer, her choice.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Steve69 said:


> i would say a little more than I do, but remember she works two jobs by choice...


You said that you both work 40+ hours a week. Base on that, it sounds like you both work about the same number of hours a week. So why does it matter if she has two jobs but works about the same number of hours?


----------



## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

Dude


----------



## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

I think it would be in your best interest to walk away from this situation.

Out of your whole initial post, there is nothing positive at all.


----------



## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Steve69;19062378[B said:


> My wife and argue almost every day[/B], either over her kids or how she says i dont spend any time with her....Hmm funny huh?? cause shes working two jobs all the time not me, and *every summer she goes on a vacation with someone other than me.*.. i get stuck her working and taking care of everything...
> 
> I asked my wife to goto counsling, but her response is " I did nothing wrong".... *its temper tantrums over and over...*
> 
> ...


Okay, you asked the question, so here is my answer: If what you are saying is accurate, you have a crappy downright awful marriage. Your wife goes on vacations without you. She throws tantrums. I assume the tantrums are thrown when you don't get in line with her agenda. I'm just spit balling here, so I could be off base somewhat.

The question I have for you, when you want me to tell you what I think, is "WHY DO YOU STAY?????"


----------



## Rhubarb (Dec 1, 2017)

Do you have any kids of your own? If so how do they fit into the picture? I have a step son and a step daughter and a son of my own (by my Ex). My step kids' father isn't in the picture at all. Most of the money comes from me. On occasion I'll get the comment of "why are you raising someone else's kids?". However I look at them as my family now as they treat me like their father. My step son even has my family name. My stepdaughter is an adult so she kept her's since she'll get married anyway and it will be changed. 

In any case your situation seems different. It does kind of beg the question, "What is in it for you?", especially since your stepson just assaulted you. I put of with this kind of crap in my previous marriage, before I wised up. If you don't have a loving family around you with a supportive wife, you're just being used.


----------

