# Feeling trapped !



## juzt mee (Aug 27, 2015)

Don't really know where to start..really just want to at least vent.
Been married 27 yrs. Husband has cheateid multiple times.
Anyway the thing is now he's totally addicated to pornography/ masturbating 
There were periods of 8+ months with no sex while he did his thing a few times a day.I would catch him and play dumb.Long-term story short ...
Sex sucks and I just feel used. Feeling heartbroken and just don't love him and want out ! (promised myself I would never let him drag me back into depression)what does he do every time I want to leave...."atemp suicide"
Feeling lonely,tired of everything...hardly talking (verbally abusive So I try keep his negativity away.sometimes I feel I don't even like him as a person)
_Posted via Mobile Device_
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Make plans to leave, get everything lined up. When he threatened suicide, call 911. Report to the police exactly what he says and insist that he be taken to the ER. Sometime they talk their way out of being taken. Be insistent that he needs to go. Every time he even hint at suicide call 911. Over the phone, tx, email etc. Be consistent, every time he threatens. Don't talk about it just call tell him you are going to get him help He will stop once he knows you will not be manipulated. 

Have you been tested for STD's. Don't you think that sex with him is dangerous to say nothing of it being unsatisfying. Why would you do that to yourself? Why do you stay, he is too sick to care about anything but his fix. Thats how addicts are, people are useful for what they can do for the addict. He probably does not want you to stay because he loves and cares about you. If he did he would not hurt you. You are useful to him. 

You will not be able to prevent him from committing suicide, if he is determined. The best you can do is call 911. You need to get your self-confidence and self -respect back because somewhere along the line, you lost it.. You gain nothing from this man so why stay?


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

27 years is a long time to be in such a negative relationship. Are there kids? how many and how old. Do you work? This info will help people guide you. You mentioned that he's played you out several times. why stay. In all of these years, have you also been unfaithful?

You don't sound ready to leave. You need a battle plan. Start working on yourself. Get healthy, develop positive friends that can encourage you in a positive direction not in a girls night out direction. 
It may be time to implement a 180 while working on yourself. You pulling away at the same time that he sees you working on yourself, may be the thing to wake him up. If not you'll be in a better position to leave if you need to.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I agree with the above posters.

There is a link to the 180 in my signature block below. That's how you need to be interacting with him not. Just start pulling away emotionally.

The bit about just calling 911 if he threatens suicide is the way to handle such threats. Most people who threaten suicide have no intention of doing it. But it's wise to get the police and mental health professionals involved.

If you are afraid of him intimidating you, then just leave him when he's not around. Does he go to work during the day? You can work towards leaving by setting things up, getting a PO Box for your mail (or have it go to a friend or family member's house). Get bank accounts in your name only.

Generally people get hung up by the overwhelming task of leaving. If you break it down into steps and work the steps one day at a time, then one day you will arrive at the last step... "Walk out the door and never come back."

So make a list of all the things you need to do and then start working them.


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## Ceegee (Sep 9, 2012)

Juzt mee,

This thread isn't about your husband. It's about you. 

Why on earth do you allow yourself to be treated this way?

Why do you allow yourself to be manipulated like this?

This is where your focus needs to be.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

You know what the solution is: leave him.


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