# Not enough sex



## Her6127 (Jul 8, 2021)

My husband always complains we don’t have enough sex, I’m always falling asleep etc. we have 3 young kids under 11. I work full time job and am just exhausted most nights. I recently have been trying to stay up later after kids go to bed so we can be intimate. We stayed up until 3am having sex the other night!! So of course the next night I’m thinking ok this is break night. To find out the next morning he was watching porn the night before, like you couldn’t go one night without getting your **** hard!! I feel like nothing is ever enough. It just does something to me when I find out he watches porn!! Am I overreacting ??


----------



## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Would you rather him bug you again in the morning, or take the edge off with some solo time? 

Everyone has their own opinion on porn and his frequency may or may not be a problem, but if this is a big deal for you then it doesn't matter what other people think.


----------



## Her6127 (Jul 8, 2021)

.


----------



## coquille (May 8, 2018)

Her6127 said:


> My husband always complains we don’t have enough sex, I’m always falling asleep etc. we have 3 young kids under 11. I work full time job and am just exhausted most nights. I recently have been trying to stay up later after kids go to bed so we can be intimate. We stayed up until 3am having sex the other night!! So of course the next night I’m thinking ok this is break night. To find out the next morning he was watching porn the night before, like you couldn’t go one night without getting your **** hard!! I feel like nothing is ever enough. It just does something to me when I find out he watches porn!! Am I overreacting ??


Do you think there is a gap in your sexual drive and your husband's? 
Does your husband work with you when he is back from work? 
Does he take care of the kids as much as you do? 
If you weren't tired from a long day's work, would you enjoy being intimate every night? If yes, then split the chores and the parenting among you two, so that you are less tired and then you can enjoy each other more frequently. If no, then this is a question of sex drive incompatibility and you two need to compromise on the frequency of intercourse. Watching porn imho should be occasional and kept to a minimum. Better focus on and address the frequency of intercourse and how you guys can find the middle ground.


----------



## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

when you get home from work does he help you or expect you to cook and clean while he in on the net or playing games , 
he has to do his bit and you have to let him do his bit to help you , 
you have to show him you want sex as well or he will end up feeling that if he did not push you for sex you would not have it , 
it is a matter of everyone doing their part and take time to be responsible about all sides of their life sex and home life , 
knowing what is important and what is not , also given the kids responsibility at early ages to help even in small things , 
not to make yourself the house slave , have sex until 3 am is pushing it a bit far if you have work to go to the next morning , depending on start time ,
you might need to look into taking power naps , and looking at home life , 

for me sex is not just the 5 10 15 or 3 h some people say they can go on for 
i think more in terms of love life/ love making which starts by how to say hello in the morning to taking part in helping out , 
hard to expect someone to be up for sex if they are doing all the house work while the other is looking at internet and tv untill their show is over and go to bed late 
if you/or he go to bed late tthen he has to take responsibility for you been tired , if he stays up until 1am and wants sex you have to ask is he having sex with you or making love 
are you just a handy sex toy , is he getting turned on by you , 

I could go on and on but not knowing the whole times when you both go to work and get home from work and what type work , 
I SEE SOME at work and they put in a hard day and others just walk around , some take naps in the van backed into quite spots when they should be at work ,afraid they get sent out again if they get back to early before going home time ,


----------



## CountryMike (Jun 1, 2021)

The kids can easily be in bed by 9, and time can be made then.

The doubt I'm having is your desire to make yourself available for sex.


----------



## Her6127 (Jul 8, 2021)

He does help with the kids we take turns making dinner, he is a truck driver but does come home every night, I’m a dental assistant. We are both pretty young 29 y/o and have been together since 16 I feel like after my first child my sex drive did change and can definitely admit he has a higher sex drive then mine. But the porn thing has always been a problem from me cause it seems every time I flip open his laptop there it is. I’ve told him countless times it bothers me. I understand us not having sex for days which sometimes it is or weeks (never) and you need to get the edge off. And he’s always searching for specific type of women which makes me feel insecure about myself and body.


----------



## CountryMike (Jun 1, 2021)

Her6127 said:


> He does help with the kids we take turns making dinner, he is a truck driver but does come home every night, I’m a dental assistant. We are both pretty young 29 y/o and have been together since 16 I feel like after my first child my sex drive did change and can definitely admit he has a higher sex drive then mine. But the porn thing has always been a problem from me cause it seems every time I flip open his laptop there it is. I’ve told him countless times it bothers me. I understand us not having sex for days which sometimes it is or weeks (never) and you need to get the edge off. And he’s always searching for specific type of women which makes me feel insecure about myself and body.


You have to ask yourself seriously; why do you think it's ok to go days without sex, and think that if that's common, it's ok?


----------



## Her6127 (Jul 8, 2021)

coquille said:


> Do you think there is a gap in your sexual drive and your husband's?
> Does your husband work with you when he is back from work?
> Does he take care of the kids as much as you do?
> If you weren't tired from a long day's work, would you enjoy being intimate every night? If yes, then split the chores and the parenting among you two, so that you are less tired and then you can enjoy each other more frequently. If no, then this is a question of sex drive incompatibility and you two need to compromise on the frequency of intercourse. Watching porn imho should be occasional and kept to a minimum. Better focus on and address the frequency of intercourse and how you guys can find the middle ground.


He does have a higher sex drive then me. As posted in other comment after kids I do believe my sex drive has been shot way down. I brung it up to my OB and he just told me with being a working mother and taking care of kids that’s “normal” which idk.


----------



## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Not to be a downer but if your not having the amount of sex he wants ... you also want to control the way he compensates for that? Seems unfair to me. I’m not condemning you for your desire level ... everyone is an individual but you can’t put your own self constructed prison around his.


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

I'm trying to get a grasp for your average sexual frequency.
3 kids and 2 jobs makes for a busy house.
3 a. m. on a night before work is difficult for anyone. 
What time do you put the kids down?
You have the kind of jobs that have free weekends. Are weekends expected sexual times?
at 29 sex (**** hard) every day is also pretty normal. 

I think a lot of your conflict could be solved with communication. You think nothing is ever enough. You use his masturbation habit as evidence to support your feelings of inadequacy. But he may just be taking care of business, and quite happy that you are willing to join him for a long night in the middle of the week.


----------



## eyeamnicegirl (Dec 31, 2019)

How much sex you two have and his watching porn are two different issues. I would be pissed about the porn, as it causes numerous problems (some obvious, some not do obvious), not to mention the exploitation of porn itself. As for frequency of sex, I thing guys always want it more than gals, including when we gals want to do something else. It was that way from the beginning of dating life, you know, like I'm wanting to watch the movie, and all the boy wants to do is put his hand up my skirt. It wasn't that the teenage me didn't like making out, it's just that I didn't want to do it then. I learned to manage boys', and later men's, expectations. Like in the parking lot before going into the movie, I would kiss him for a couple of minutes, then say it's about time for the movie to start, let's go in now, and we can pick up where we left off when the movie is over . . . I was in control, I got to watch the movie in relative peace, and I also got to make out with the boy on my terms (i.e., I only went as far as I wanted to go, when i wanted to go there). I know being married is different than a teenage date, but the general principle still holds. He wants a romp on the sack that takes a lot of time and energy, and you are either too busy or too tired at the moment? You do realize how a horny man works? Right? If you know your man like any married woman would, you can make him cum with a blowjob in less than 5 minutes (I can do it in two), and the beast is tamed. Perhaps you don't feel like a blowjob right now, but it's quick, doesn't take a lot of energy, you can keep your clothes on, you can return to your list of things to do in a matter of minutes, and he has a smile on his face. I even do preemptive blowjobs sometimes. Before you object, know that your man does stuff that's sometimes inconvenient to his schedule because you want it done and/or he knows you like it. Part of marriage is recognizing the needs and wants of your spouse, and finding a way fulfill those needs and wants, and doing it because you love him/her, not simply out of a sense of obligation.


----------



## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

I’m worried your kids will open dad’s laptop. That could be very damaging to them to be exposed to porn at a young age.

Porn is a type of infidelity really so I think because of this and kids around I think you’d be wise to demand him to stop.


----------



## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

I would be happy that my husband is not pestering me every day for sex, if completely exhausted. I guess it's because of the type of women he looks at? Would you be happier with granny sex?


----------



## ThanksJerry (Jun 28, 2021)

Her6127 said:


> My husband always complains we don’t have enough sex, I’m always falling asleep etc. we have 3 young kids under 11. I work full time job and am just exhausted most nights. I recently have been trying to stay up later after kids go to bed so we can be intimate. We stayed up until 3am having sex the other night!! So of course the next night I’m thinking ok this is break night. To find out the next morning he was watching porn the night before, like you couldn’t go one night without getting your **** hard!! I feel like nothing is ever enough. It just does something to me when I find out he watches porn!! Am I overreacting ??


My wife and I have the same issue. Def doesn't seem uncommon for couples to struggle with different "drives". What i have learned over the years is that it's really important for me as a husband to think about my wife's to do list every day and that I'm wrong to think crawling all over her at 10 pm is going to suddenly put her in the mood. Does he help around the house or otherwise try to lighten your burden so you're not worn out? If not, then I'd say you have no reason to feel like your not meeting his sexual expectations. As for the porn thing, I watch porn a lot because my wife and I are not having sex as much as I'd like and I don't feel ashamed that I have more of a drive. But your marriage is obviously your own so if it bothers you or feels like cheating, best talk to him before resentment sets in. Once it does, your intimacy will be really hard to get back


----------



## CountryMike (Jun 1, 2021)

Everyone asks what the guy is doing to help W with her chores, and lightening her load, yet those same guys still say nothing is working.

But advice always starts that way I'm noticing. 

Maybe a reality check - trying to earn sex isn't a tried and true way to have all the sex a guy wants. Never works as an ongoing solution.


----------



## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

Your not overreacting! I would 100% feel terrible, like my best isn’t good enough. I understand the need to get off and I would be less hurt if he masterbated without the use of porn. 

He is really screwing himself in the long run. You have made sex your job, not something that you want to do to connect you guys, or even for your own pleasure. You will eventually get very resentful of this and start to hate your husband and no longer want to have sex with him or even be with him. 

All you can do is talk to him about it. Let him know how you feel, and what the long term consequences are.


----------



## ThanksJerry (Jun 28, 2021)

CountryMike said:


> Everyone asks what the guy is doing to help W with her chores, and lightening her load, yet those same guys still say nothing is working.
> 
> But advice always starts that way I'm noticing.
> 
> Maybe a reality check - trying to earn sex isn't a tried and true way to have all the sex a guy wants. Never works as an ongoing solution.


Good point I suppose. And is pretty accurate in my case.


----------



## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

There needs to be a little respect in my opinion. I understand you have a desire and need to masterbate but can’t you do it on the downlow so it’s not so disrespectful. 

I have been left many times unsatisfactory after sex. And I have stopped even though I’m not satisfied and I still want to orgasm ( bc with some people it’s just not going to happen and it can be awkward to keep trying). Anyway. I don’t rush off and go in the next room and put on porn and masterbate everytime I didn’t finish. Can you imagine how hurtful that would be to my partner if he knew his best isn’t good enough? What if I only got 1 crappy orgasm and I wanted more… how would the guy feel if I went off and did it myself. 

My point is, no one wants to feel like they aren’t enough. It’s ****ty, and it has really bad consequences…: like cheating and resentment. 

You are not over reacting. He is being hurtful. We are not always going to be 100% satisfied in life and we have to be ok with that. We have to. E happy with what we have to a certain extent. 


My husband bought me a small engagement ring… so I bought myself a bigger one. My husband has a small ****, so I bought a large dildo. He bought me carnations… so I bought myself roses because they are clearly better. I’m not satisfied with how he put the deck in, so I called someone with more experience to do it. My husband doesn’t know how to comfort me, so instead I go to my work friend Dan Who gets me more. 

I mean if someone is trying their best, you can’t beat them down. Life is tough already.


----------



## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

CountryMike said:


> You have to ask yourself seriously; why do you think it's ok to go days without sex, and think that if that's common, it's ok?


You have to ask yourself… why is her husband searching for specific porn stars? Is that ok???


----------



## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

eyeamnicegirl said:


> How much sex you two have and his watching porn are two different issues. I would be pissed about the porn, as it causes numerous problems (some obvious, some not do obvious), not to mention the exploitation of porn itself. As for frequency of sex, I thing guys always want it more than gals, including when we gals want to do something else. It was that way from the beginning of dating life, you know, like I'm wanting to watch the movie, and all the boy wants to do is put his hand up my skirt. It wasn't that the teenage me didn't like making out, it's just that I didn't want to do it then. I learned to manage boys', and later men's, expectations. Like in the parking lot before going into the movie, I would kiss him for a couple of minutes, then say it's about time for the movie to start, let's go in now, and we can pick up where we left off when the movie is over . . . I was in control, I got to watch the movie in relative peace, and I also got to make out with the boy on my terms (i.e., I only went as far as I wanted to go, when i wanted to go there). I know being married is different than a teenage date, but the general principle still holds. He wants a romp on the sack that takes a lot of time and energy, and you are either too busy or too tired at the moment? You do realize how a horny man works? Right? If you know your man like any married woman would, you can make him cum with a blowjob in less than 5 minutes (I can do it in two), and the beast is tamed. Perhaps you don't feel like a blowjob right now, but it's quick, doesn't take a lot of energy, you can keep your clothes on, you can return to your list of things to do in a matter of minutes, and he has a smile on his face. I even do preemptive blowjobs sometimes. Before you object, know that your man does stuff that's sometimes inconvenient to his schedule because you want it done and/or he knows you like it. Part of marriage is recognizing the needs and wants of your spouse, and finding a way fulfill those needs and wants, and doing it because you love him/her, not simply out of a sense of obligation.


Not all men can orgasm within 5 minutes of a blowjob. A lot of men actually can’t orgasm at all with oral sex.


----------



## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

Her6127 said:


> My husband always complains we don’t have enough sex, I’m always falling asleep etc. we have 3 young kids under 11. I work full time job and am just exhausted most nights. I recently have been trying to stay up later after kids go to bed so we can be intimate. We stayed up until 3am having sex the other night!! So of course the next night I’m thinking ok this is break night. To find out the next morning he was watching porn the night before, like you couldn’t go one night without getting your **** hard!! I feel like nothing is ever enough. It just does something to me when I find out he watches porn!! Am I overreacting ??


Well I hope the responses don't discourage you. Porn that is so frequent then it can definitely be a problem. I sorry it makes you feel inadequate and that he doesn't seem to care. Have you expressed this to him exactly as is? What did you stay up til 3am having sex? Does it take a long time or do your kids stay up really late? Scheduling can help where you know and he know what day it will happen.

How is your communication otherwise.

Side note: To the people who think men help out to get sex. They should help out because they are grown ass men with children who need things. When two people work then two people need to work around the house as well.


----------



## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

Her6127 said:


> He does have a higher sex drive then me. As posted in other comment after kids I do believe my sex drive has been shot way down. I brung it up to my OB and he just told me with being a working mother and taking care of kids that’s “normal” which idk.


29 years old and you’ve already closed down the sex store? This will not end well for either of you. Time to put your marital needs as the priority or you will end up alone with 3 kids under 11.


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Look if you told him porn is a problem for you and he’s doing it anyway that is bad full stop and he shouldn’t look at it despite what his difference is in drive.

With that said, if you’re not able to match what he wants or at least get close enough then what is his remedy?

At 29 I probably wanted to have sex many times a day (not at 3am though).


----------



## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

Sounds a bit like a sex addition on his part. I think with three small kids and full time jobs he could live with once per week (maybe twice if he’s being a good boy). If he wants more he could find a better job so you can work less and be more rested.

I’d say if he’s turning to the porn for “help” you should follow suit and call a nanny/maid/food delivery- for a little “help” of your own. I mean if he’s going outside the marriage- so should you to make life easier.


----------



## ThanksJerry (Jun 28, 2021)

CatholicDad said:


> Sounds a bit like a sex addition on his part. I think with three small kids and full time jobs he could live with once per week (maybe twice if he’s being a good boy). If he wants more he could find a better job so you can work less and be more rested.
> 
> I’d say if he’s turning to the porn for “help” you should follow suit and call a nanny/maid/food delivery- for a little “help” of your own. I mean if he’s going outside the marriage- so should you to make life easier.


His sex drive is his sex drive. Telling her to tell him to just change to her preferences is as problematic as him expecting her to change to his. Its certainly not up to us to suggest that he's "getting enough".


----------



## CountryMike (Jun 1, 2021)

Girl_power said:


> You have to ask yourself… why is her husband searching for specific porn stars? Is that ok???


Actually I don't have to ask. The original question still stands.


----------



## CountryMike (Jun 1, 2021)

Girl_power said:


> Not all men can orgasm within 5 minutes of a blowjob. A lot of men actually can’t orgasm at all with oral sex.


Her point being recognizing her spouse would like to have more sex with her, and she herself thinks hey that's an ok problem to have.


----------



## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

29 year old and your having sex once a week? My wife and I are in our 50s and even though my wife is much lower drive than I am, we have sex about 3 times a week. I would want way more but there’s no way I could be going with once a week. 

It’s not normal that at your age you have such a low sex drive. Instead of being upset with your husband sex drive, you can work on spicing up your sex life. I’d bet that you’re husband would much rather be sliding into you than to wack off to some women you think is his type.


----------



## ThanksJerry (Jun 28, 2021)

I really think the blaming her or him comments aren't going to solve their problem. Neither can just turn a switch on or off. They need to talk about it and figure out what they can do together. Maybe there's some stressor for her that he can help ward off. Maybe there's a time of day or of the week she is less busy and maybe could make time for him. No matter what, it seems like a healthy but frank talk is needed. And telling her to get horny and him to deal with peobably won't prove helpful


----------



## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Her6127 said:


> My husband always complains we don’t have enough sex, I’m always falling asleep etc. we have 3 young kids under 11. I work full time job and am just exhausted most nights. I recently have been trying to stay up later after kids go to bed so we can be intimate. We stayed up until 3am having sex the other night!! So of course the next night I’m thinking ok this is break night. To find out the next morning he was watching porn the night before, like you couldn’t go one night without getting your **** hard!! I feel like nothing is ever enough. It just does something to me when I find out he watches porn!! Am I overreacting ??


I'm guessing *you're *the one stuck with 95% of the child-rearing and domestic chores *after* working a full day outside the home, while Mr. Wonderful seems to have an awful lot of free time on his hands and is wide awake every night, devoted to making sure someone or something services his nether regions. I'm guessing he's wide awake and looking to get serviced because he likely gets to relax most of the night while YOU run your ass off doing all the work.

Since you BOTH work full-time jobs, that means you BOTH have a 50% share of the domestic chores and child-rearing. I'm betting it's nowhere NEAR that 50/50 split at your house. Why is it only *YOU* killing yourself day after day after day to get everything done while this jackhole is over on Pornhub jerking off or whining to you to hurry up and finish all "your" work so you can stay up til 3 am servicing him? Maybe next time, HIS worthless ass should be doing his share instead of sitting in his recliner.

He's lucky you don't give him a kick to the 'nads because he sure as hell deserves it.

Quit killing yourself for a selfish ass-hole. It's a thankless job.


----------



## coquille (May 8, 2018)

Her6127 said:


> He does have a higher sex drive then me. As posted in other comment after kids I do believe my sex drive has been shot way down. I brung it up to my OB and he just told me with being a working mother and taking care of kids that’s “normal” which idk.


If it happens, it doesn't necessarily mean it's normal. You are still young. Do you think that you don't feel like having sex more frequently with your husband because of low sex drive or because you are too tired from work and taking care of the house and the kids? If he helped you more, do you think you would be in the mood for more sex? Well, sex until 3 am in week night is not going to help anyone the next day, anyway, so I'm referring to one to two hour max sex sessions during a weeknight.


----------



## Her6127 (Jul 8, 2021)

RebuildingMe said:


> 29 years old and you’ve already closed down the sex store? This will not end well for either of you. Time to put your marital needs as the priority or you will end up alone with 3 kids under 11.


You’re right now I am alone with 3 kids Under 11, I have always put my heart into my relationship. Maybe another reason we didn’t have enough sex is because he has cheated on me countless times over the past 12 years and doesn’t make me feel secure as a partner. and just 2 months ago when I found out about somebody else I told him it would be the last time I would be dealing with it needless to say I found out 2 days ago he has been talking to another woman. 🤷🏽‍♀️


----------



## Her6127 (Jul 8, 2021)

But of course his reason for cheating once again is because I don’t give him constant affection and he’s not getting what he wants from me.


----------



## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Her6127 said:


> You’re right now I am alone with 3 kids Under 11, I have always put my heart into my relationship. Maybe another reason we didn’t have enough sex is because he has cheated on me countless times over the past 12 years and doesn’t make me feel secure as a partner. and just 2 months ago when I found out about somebody else I told him it would be the last time I would be dealing with it needless to say I found out 2 days ago he has been talking to another woman. 🤷🏽‍♀️


WTF? How do you tolerate all this? I'm speechless.


----------



## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

Her6127 said:


> You’re right now I am alone with 3 kids Under 11, I have always put my heart into my relationship. Maybe another reason we didn’t have enough sex is because he has cheated on me countless times over the past 12 years and doesn’t make me feel secure as a partner. and just 2 months ago when I found out about somebody else I told him it would be the last time I would be dealing with it needless to say I found out 2 days ago he has been talking to another woman. 🤷🏽‍♀️


He doesn’t take your “threats” seriously. You sound like a person that will give him an infinite number of second chances.


----------



## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

Divorce. He will always be a cheater. He is literally blaming you for his cheating!! That’s insane.


----------



## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

ThanksJerry said:


> His sex drive is his sex drive. Telling her to tell him to just change to her preferences is as problematic as him expecting her to change to his. Its certainly not up to us to suggest that he's "getting enough".


If he we’re overweight would you say “his appetite is his appetite”. In all walks of life sometimes men need to exercise self control. Sounds like she is overworked.


----------



## CountryMike (Jun 1, 2021)

CatholicDad said:


> If he we’re overweight would you say “his appetite is his appetite”. In all walks of life sometimes men need to exercise self control. Sounds like she is overworked.


Of which every person who's been told their appetite is the cause of their extreme over weight is always immediately successful in changing and losing all the weight.

Not, so it actually is a semi-distant analogy.


----------



## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Her6127 said:


> You’re right now I am alone with 3 kids Under 11, I have always put my heart into my relationship. Maybe another reason we didn’t have enough sex is because he has cheated on me countless times over the past 12 years and doesn’t make me feel secure as a partner. and just 2 months ago when I found out about somebody else I told him it would be the last time I would be dealing with it needless to say I found out 2 days ago he has been talking to another woman. 🤷🏽‍♀️


Not something you thought to mention in your first post ?????


----------



## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

Didn’t see the cheating part- but just makes it more true that you can’t “fix” someone’s inordinate desire for sex- or their lack of self control. I’d say he needs professional help outside of what she can give.


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> I'm guessing *you're *the one stuck with 95% of the child-rearing and domestic chores *after* working a full day outside the home, while Mr. Wonderful seems to have an awful lot of free time on his hands and is wide awake every night, devoted to making sure someone or something services his nether regions. I'm guessing he's wide awake and looking to get serviced because he likely gets to relax most of the night while YOU run your ass off doing all the work.
> 
> Since you BOTH work full-time jobs, that means you BOTH have a 50% share of the domestic chores and child-rearing. I'm betting it's nowhere NEAR that 50/50 split at your house. Why is it only *YOU* killing yourself day after day after day to get everything done while this jackhole is over on Pornhub jerking off or whining to you to hurry up and finish all "your" work so you can stay up til 3 am servicing him? Maybe next time, HIS worthless ass should be doing his share instead of sitting in his recliner.
> 
> ...


Never make assumptions. My wife used to ***** and complain she does everything. I started listing all that i was doing and blew her excuses out of the water. She said, What? Do you want me to give you a cookie?

😡No just quir acting like your ass is only one doing anything. I did all the yard work, maintained vehicles. Did the vaccuming, trash. Cooked 1/2 time, changed at least 50% of diapers...cleaned up the puke. Bathed the kids in shower with me, she dried off.

She did not like way i did laundry so she wanted me to leave alone. 

But she thought SHE did all the work. Not even close!


----------



## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Her6127 said:


> He does have a higher sex drive then me. As posted in other comment after kids I do believe my sex drive has been shot way down. I brung it up to my OB and he just told me with being a working mother and taking care of kids that’s “normal” which idk.


Setting aside the issues with porn and/or cheating (as those can cause issues with your libido due to resentment), if you have talked to your doctor about this to no avail, you can get a second opinion. Different doctors have different attitudes and philosophies. You also want to find a doctor that can treat you as a couple. He/She may suggest couple's therapy and/or look at other factors. 

For example your OB may not take into consideration medications you might be taking for blood pressure can be substituted for something that actually promotes a healthy libido. Some of the newer medications prescribed these days to men for blood pressure actually promote a more active libido and stronger erections (remember that viagra was originally developed as a drug to treat blood pressure). If your husband is taking one of these, perhaps he may need to change to something that does not cause his libido to be overactive.


----------

