# I



## Lozzytee123 (Jun 29, 2021)

So I have been with my husband for 7 years and married for 2, for the first 5-6 years things were great, we had a son who is now 6 and he was my best friend.
He suffers with anxiety and so do I to which we both take medication.
The past year my husband has decided that he doesn’t want any to take medication anymore because he is worried about the affect it will have on his body, he’s constantly worrying about having a heart attack and googling everything possible, because he has reduced his medication his anxiety levels have increased but he thinks if he’s going to carry on with medication that will harm him too, so there’s no winning.
His behaviour also rubs off on me, I can run a great mood and he comes home then bam I’m in an awful mood, he just has a negative aura and constantly picks at me for the slightest things, the things he picks at can also be part of the anxiety, for example I could of got a little
Bit of food in the sink and that sets him off nagging at me, he says if he doesn’t say things they don’t get done, which is totally not true, I feel like
He’s on my case all the time, have you done this, have you done that.
I live 1.5 hours away from my family and I have been going there for 1 night every couple
If weeks whilst my son stays at his grandmas, just to get a bit of a break, sometimes he will say oh do you have to go
This week or suggests we spend
Time together, but I don’t want to as I don’t enjoy my time with him because of the way he is. He makes me feel worthless and sometimes I cry and he says “oh crying again” he makes
Me feel incompetent of things. When I talk to him about how things make me feel it always goes back to the same thing.my weight.
Since we met I have gained weight I was a size 12 and now I’m a 16, I don’t mind that I’m bigger but he does, he asks me at least once a week “are you going to go
On a diet” I don’t want you t gain any more weight” he says this is because of health reasons even though I have no health problems, I feel useless sometimes I just can’t bare being around him, actually I can’t stand being around him, everything he does annoys me and I have the most peaceful time when he’s not 
Around, I have been told this is emotional abuse but I want other peoples opinions, I mean am I being unreasonable? Is this me? Should I accept this is what he’s like?


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

It doesn't sound good, but based on what you say, I wouldn't actually call it emotional abuse. (And I'm a marriage counsellor).



Lozzytee123 said:


> everything he does annoys me


Yeah, it sounds like it goes both ways. Any chance you can get couple counselling?


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## Lozzytee123 (Jun 29, 2021)

Laurentium said:


> It doesn't sound good, but based on what you say, I wouldn't actually call it emotional abuse. (And I'm a marriage counsellor).
> 
> 
> Yeah, it sounds like it goes both ways. Any chance you can get couple counselling?


There’s so much more too, everything has to be his way or
Nothing, I have to ask to do things I enjoy to see if it’s convenient for him but he does what he likes, we car share and when he’s around he HAS to drive he has to be in control, everything is on his terms


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

If you don’t like it who cares what label it has? You don’t seem to like it, so then what?


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## Lozzytee123 (Jun 29, 2021)

Don’t comment if your going to say absolutely nothing useful like ffs


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Lozzytee123 said:


> Don’t comment if your going to say absolutely nothing useful like ffs


Ok then it’s emotional abuse, now what?


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## Lozzytee123 (Jun 29, 2021)

ccpowerslave said:


> Ok then it’s emotional abuse, now what?


now you can **** off


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Has he talked to his doctor about the medication?


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## Lozzytee123 (Jun 29, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> Has he talked to his doctor about the medication?


no, he won’t and doesn’t bother with any therapy either, he didn’t show up to his appointment


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Wow, sounds like there's definitely emotional abuse happening. Why don't you send your husband ovee?


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## re16 (Oct 9, 2012)

I think what ccps was trying to say is that whatever name there is for what he is doing to you is not important, the important thing is that his behavior is hurtful to you on a regular basis and this is unacceptable.

People that don't feel positively about themselves often try to put others down in attempt to make themselves feel better. He is a bully and the way you are living is no way to live.

You need to stand up for yourself and tell him that the hurtful behavior will stop or you will leave him. Then follow through. This can't be an idle threat. You need to be willing to lose the relationship to fix it. If he is unwilling to improve, then move on.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Lozzytee123 said:


> now you can **** off





re16 said:


> I think what ccps was trying to say is that whatever name there is for what he is doing to you is not important, the important thing is that his behavior is hurtful to you on a regular basis and this is unacceptable.
> 
> People that don't feel positively about themselves often try to put others down in attempt to make themselves feel better. He is a bully and the way you are living is no way to live.
> 
> You need to stand up for yourself and tell him that the hurtful behavior will stop or you will leave him. Then follow through. This can't be an idle threat. You need to be willing to lose the relationship to fix it. If he is unwilling to improve, then move on.


You can see by her replies that there's more to the story than she is telling (one sided). His behavior per her narrative is that of an abusive individual, but she seems to be part of the problem also per her snarky remarks. Most likely both individuals are at fault here. They need professional support on how to manage each other in the relationship.


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