# I'm never in the "mood" anymore. Why is this??



## nikkilaya1234 (Mar 10, 2008)

I've been together with my boyfriend for about a year and a half. Only that long. Already, I've lost interest in having sex with him. Even when it comes to something like making out. It's just that I really don't want to anymore for some WEIRD reason. I feel bad because he wants all this so bad and every night I'm making another excuse like "I'm so tired. I don't feel very well. I'm scared of getting pregnant. We're not yet married" And many more I can come up with. 

Honestly, I have no clue what it is. We broke up months ago and got back together a month after. Before our breakup, we were all over each other every day! Every day, literally. But when we got back together, I haven't been in the mood for ANY of the sexual or physical stuff anymore. It's frustrating him and I know that it's too early in our relationship to be losing interest. I'm confused. 

The other day I bought some lingerie and got all dressed up for him (hair, makeup and all that junk guys like) for a surprise. But I wasn't feeling it whatsoever. He really doesn't need this. I'm wasting his time in that department.


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## oceanbreeze (Oct 8, 2007)

I enjoy sex with my significant other, but lately I find myself not so attracted to him anymore sexually. 

Maybe during your breakup with your boyfriend, you've realized things that you hadnt before. Perhaps, this time you are testing your boyfriend if he is really serious with you and want to establish and emotional and psychological connection rather than a sexual relationship. Try dating each other again from scratch and rebuilding the relationship like new but w/o the sex.


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## Immortalone (Mar 5, 2008)

It almost sounds as if your still dwelling on what ever caused your break up. Or during your break up you found life does go on. There could be allot of diffrent reason for this lack of lust in your life. Perhaps part of you is thinking that your relationship is based on the sexual side and not the emotional side. You realy need both to have a happy relationship. 

Perhaps you both need to sit down and talk. Yes I know us men hate talking but at the same time. You both need to figure this out together. If it is him not emotionaly supporting you for your needs then it is only fair you talk with him so he knows this. Unlike women men can't read minds. Heck we can hardly listen to our own LOL.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Nikki 

ImmortalOne hits on a good point here. My first instinct when one partner loses interest in sex or intimacy is that there is an emotional need missing in the relationship for that partner. You need to be emotionally attached in order to keep a sustained physical relationship going. Search your feelings for what he could do to make you happier as a person. Also what you could do for him outside of sex to make him feel the same. Good luck.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

I think more of the issue is stated in your other post.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/ladies-lounge/891-i-feel-want-cheat.html

draconis


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## carmaenforcer (Mar 7, 2008)

Hi *nikkilaya1234*,
Sorry to hear that you are having sexual issues and that you can't figure out why? But I have to give you mad props for admitting that this is a bad thing.
I loved your statement, "_He really doesn't need this. I'm wasting his time in that department._"
I just got done getting all passionate on another thread about this same topic, but I and some of the other people on that thread are married and so kind of more locked into the bad situation. My wife like a lot of women like to use sex as a weapon or some sort of prize that can only be reached once all the other messed up issues they have are addressed properly and I speaking as a man can tell you we don't like sex that is that hard to get. Sex for us is a release, a joyful thing and not something that should be a bundle package with a bunch of other issues.

I would recommend another break-up, date each other if you still want too, but let him know that he can and should get it (sex) somewhere else.

I applaud you for being so fair in your assessment of your situation and not quick too using the lack of sex drive on your part to blame your man for whatever.


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