# The Date Day



## EllaSuaveterre (Oct 2, 2016)

When my husband and I were dating, online, it was easy for me to plan grand romantic gestures- things we both enjoyed. Through the magic of 3D online virtual worlds, I would take him to a Tunnel of Love, the Eiffel Tower, and the beautiful cathedrals in Milan, all in one afternoon. I was almost always the one to plan things like that, and I would take delight in my ability to so completely captivate him. Marriage has, obviously, changed this. But it doesn't have to, not always. On Saturday, December 17th, all my final exams for the semester will be thankfully over, and we will be able to celebrate and welcome Winter break with open arms and hearts.

And I've taken it upon myself to organize yet another perfect evening for us, just like in the old days, except real. Mr. Suaveterre is aware that we'll paint pottery and then go out to dinner later, but the rest is a surprise. It will be a day for us. Thursday morning, I'll take my last final, and that afternoon I'll rest. I'll need it. 

Friday while he's at work I'll clean the entire house for him, and then I'll get up at the crack of dawn Saturday to light 50 or so artificial tealight candles and spread rose petals all over the floor and my spare bed. I'll wake him up and make him breakfast- haven't decided what yet. Can you cook bacon in a microwave? It could end up being as simple as cereal and a strawberry smoothie. I'll give him a card with breakfast which will, on the inside, explain what I've picked out for us to do that day, since Mr. Suaveterre is not overly fond of being kept in suspense.

We'll spend the morning watching movies or doing puzzles or playing our special game- "The And". I'll make him lunch- tuna sandwiches for him, bologna and cheese for me. And wine, of course. And we can either have a picnic on the floor in front of the fireplace or in bed. We'll go out after lunch and paint pottery together, as early Christmas presents to each other. Then we'll share a romantic bubble bath and I'll get dressed in my pink silk evening gown and the ruby jewelry set he bought me for Valentine's Day, and we'll go out to a fine Asian place. Once we get home, we'll make love to the background of Disney wedding instrumentals and flickering candles, and then give each other massages..

I'm so nervous. I hope he WANTS to spend all day with me instead of working on his programming. I hope he likes what I do with the rose petals. I hope he wants to give me a massage, too. I hope he doesn't get too tired and pass out before we can... ahem. And oh my gosh, the sex after all that build-up makes me nervous just thinking about it. It'l feel like the first time... only hopefully far less physically painful.

Wish me luck. So much luck. Finals... the date... omg.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Sounds like a lovely day. And good luck with finals. 

What are you studying?


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## EllaSuaveterre (Oct 2, 2016)

jld said:


> Sounds like a lovely day. And good luck with finals.
> 
> What are you studying?


I'm sure it comes as a surprise to no one that I'm a writing major.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

EllaSuaveterre said:


> I'm sure it comes as a surprise to no one that I'm a writing major.


Lol, I was thinking English.


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## EllaSuaveterre (Oct 2, 2016)

jld said:


> Lol, I was thinking English.


At my school, it's essentially the same thing. Fine Arts degree specializing in English... but I'm taking ALL the writing classes. Poetry, short story writing, of course all the comp classes...


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

EllaSuaveterre said:


> At my school, it's essentially the same thing. Fine Arts degree specializing in English... but I'm taking ALL the writing classes. Poetry, short story writing, of course all the comp classes...


Very good, Ella. Which is your favorite?


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## EllaSuaveterre (Oct 2, 2016)

jld said:


> Very good, Ella. Which is your favorite?


I enjoyed the poetry class the best, but I am fairly obviously more suited for short stories. I'd share one I've written, maybe. It was my final piece which I turned in two weeks early to receive in in-depth critique. I never got the critique and it bothers me a semester later. Is there an off-topic forum for that?


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

EllaSuaveterre said:


> I enjoyed the poetry class the best, but I am fairly obviously more suited for short stories. I'd share one I've written, maybe. It was my final piece which I turned in two weeks early to receive in in-depth critique. I never got the critique and it bothers me a semester later. Is there an off-topic forum for that?


Try The Social Spot.

Did you inquire about the critique?


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## EllaSuaveterre (Oct 2, 2016)

Preparations are (finally) underway!! There is so, so, so much to do before Saturday!

I've got to clean EVERYTHING today even though I'm apparently ill for I'm all shivery and headachey and it's awful. 

I and an imaginary army of birds and mice must do laundry, wash the dishes, clean the kitchen, clean out the fridge, clean the bathroom, somehow get everything off the floors, vacuum, wash the sheets, make the beds, buy and prepare tomorrow's breakfast, lunch, and lunch dessert (we're going out for dinner), prepare the massage oils and wine, and bedeck everything in candles and rose petals.

I hope, in between all of this, I can find time to convalesce because I _really, desperately_ need it if I am to not pass out on Saturday.

I'm actually really excited to finally get started despite this, and I've finally figured out what to do about a card since the printer's gone haywire. I shall simply write him a love letter instead.


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## EllaSuaveterre (Oct 2, 2016)

I swear I'm getting worse by the hour. This is bad, lads and lasses. I really, really don't want to postpone or cancel our date. I've done so much preparing. I'm going to cry.


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## EllaSuaveterre (Oct 2, 2016)

I've taken some DayQuil and I at least feel well enough to keep working, though still decidedly ill. 

But I found out the gown I was planning to wear has stains on it, and when I tried to get them out with a stain remover pen, it seems it just made them bigger and more noticeable. I'll have to give one of my most treasured gowns away and find something else to wear, and nothing else looks right. They're all either too poofy, or too formal, or WHITE. I cannot wear a white gown in winter!!!
My vacuum seems useless. It's not picking up anything, so the floor remains as it was before I started. I've wasted energy I don't have to waste. And there's still so much to do...

I swear to the gods if I have to lower my expectations AGAIN...

Every little thing that has gone wrong today weighs on me like a ten-ton boulder!! I'm angry and I'm unwell and I'm profoundly disappointed. Just once, just please for once, let something go EXACTLY the way I want it to!!


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

You went on dates online? Huh? Is this the first in person date you two will have? I'm so confused.


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## Celes (Apr 28, 2015)

I think you need to chill out a bit. Just a fraction of your grand plan will be plenty to make your husband feel loved and appreciated. Things rarely go exactly as planned. Don't stress over details and be sure to fully enjoy the date no matter what happens.


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## EllaSuaveterre (Oct 2, 2016)

GuyInColorado said:


> You went on dates online? Huh? Is this the first in person date you two will have? I'm so confused.


When we were dating, it was a long distance relationship, and we went on dates in vast 3d planes of virtual reality that could be made to look like anything you could imagine. Now that we're married and living together, dating's gotten a little more... concrete.


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## EllaSuaveterre (Oct 2, 2016)

I have accomplished almost nothing today. I haven't finished cleaning the bathroom, nor have I vacuumed, nor have I cleaned the kitchen, nor have I made the beds. And never mind preparing breakfast or lunch or dessert. 

I'm terribly unwell and my gown is ruined.

I fear I'll have to postpone our date. I suppose it wouldn't be so bad because my husband has the day off Monday, but I'm lying to myself if I think I'll be recovered by Monday.

Then of course the week after that is Christmas.

I could dose myself up on so much DayQuil I don't feel sick, but that wouldn't work either. I still daren't kiss him. I really don't want him to even come within four feet of me unless it's absolutely necessary. 

I wanted more than anything to orchestrate and realize a day just for us, straight out of my novels, with as much magic as I could possibly conjure up, to offset the pain of living in our stressful world. I'd almost done it, and then I took sick. So much for that.

I'm crying with disappointment. I want to be angry with myself for not trying harder, but what could I have done?


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## EllaSuaveterre (Oct 2, 2016)

I've been unmedicated for almost twelve hours. I'm hardly comfortable, but I'm not miserable either. Maybe this is as bad as it's going to get regarding my health. I'm too late to prepare for tomorrow but maybe if we take my gown in tomorrow morning, I can get everything done (Minus the vacuuming) and things can go as planned on Monday. 

My gown, the vacuum, the ring, my health... I'm just so tired of everything going wrong. 

At least I passed all my finals..


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## EllaSuaveterre (Oct 2, 2016)

Finally _finally_* finally* _finally_ *FINALLY!!!*

After having to postpone it twice our big date day is finally here, starting tomorrow morning!! I can't wait. I still have a lot to do in preparation, and I'm enjoying every minute of it! I still have to finish doing laundry and making the beds, but other than that all the hard chores are done. Then comes the fun stuff: Making him a card, spreading rose petals, planning my outfits, lighting candles, making tomorrow's lunch and dessert... 

Oh my gosh, I can't wait. I'm over the moon. It's finally happening and it's going to be awesome! I'm going to get up early and serve him a strawberry smoothie for breakfast, and give him his card, and then we're going to cuddle and play The And, then we're going to go to a pottery place and I'm going to hand paint him a coffee mug, and he's going to paint me something too!! Then we can go home and I'll make us lunch: heart-shaped sandwiches and chocolate-covered strawberries! Then we'll have a bubble bath together by candlelight, and get ready for our big dinner at an upscale sushi restaurant. And then, we're going to go home, and I'm going to give him a full body massage, and we'll see where that goes... and as New Years' Day comes, we'll be sitting by the fire, drinking champagne and eating chocolate strawberries!!

It's going to be wonderful. And I promised myself I won't stress out (at least not in front of him) if something doesn't go right.


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## EllaSuaveterre (Oct 2, 2016)

I made him his card! I love Photoshop. I never have to go to Hallmark.

On the outside, it says, "I love you at the New Year and always." and on the inside, it says:

My Precious Darling Angel,

You've done so much for us this year,
Cherishing us in the good times,
And helping us navigate the bad.
And never forgetting to make time for us.

No matter what happens 
in the coming New Year,
I know I’ll always have you there beside me, 
laughing at our shared memories, 
dreaming our new dreams.

As the old year closes,
I’ll be thinking of just how much
our love has meant to me.
And as I look ahead
to the coming year,
I know that my happiest moments
will be those shared with you.

Today, on this New Years' Eve,
I wish you peace and contentment,
And promise to give you all my love.
Let's make time for each other once again,
And remember what brought us together 
in the first place:

A lot of luck,
A bit of destiny,
Plenty of dreams,
And a true, passionate love
Which we always make time
to tend.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

EllaSuaveterre said:


> I made him his card! I love Photoshop. I never have to go to Hallmark.
> 
> On the outside, it says, "I love you at the New Year and always." and on the inside, it says:
> 
> ...


Do you mind if I vomit just a bit...in the kindest of all possible ways?


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## EllaSuaveterre (Oct 2, 2016)

I booked our reservations for the restaurant!!! EEEeeeeek I'm so excited I can't wait!!! It's really hard to keep the card a secret til tomorrow morning!!


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## EllaSuaveterre (Oct 2, 2016)

I'm... so...close!!!

I just have to put up the decorations, light the candles, and scatter the rose petals and I can call it a night! He'll be so surprised tomorrow morning!!!

Y'know, just as an aside, (and Mods, please excuse me and let me know privately if I'm not allowed to say this) I wish I hadn't been banned from SurvivingInfidelity. I'd have posted this on their reconciliation forum. I wish they could see how much we love each other now. It might give them hope. =D


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

EllaSuaveterre said:


> ...and then we're going to cuddle and play* The And*....


Why would you make the poor guy do that? :surprise:


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Don't feel nervous, my dear! Feel lucky!

Your H is one fortunate young man to have the caring and the most considerate wife that he does!*


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## EllaSuaveterre (Oct 2, 2016)

Quick update while he's in the shower: the milkshakes came out even better than I expected. I am an absolutely terrible cook but it turns out even I can combine strawberries, bananas, milk, Greek yogurt, and strawberry flavored protein powder. Seriously these are so creamy and delectable. I'm going to garnish them with a strawberry and serve them to him when he gets out of the shower. 

Think I might have to start making these every Saturday.

He saw my card, in the middle of a display of rose petals on the living room floor reading, "I ♡ U". Apparently he got up before I did, read the card, put it back, and was dozing on the couch when I saw him. I think he liked it. Difficult to tell. He hugged me and kissed me but he does that every morning.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

For you, I hope he loves this day you have put so much feeling and planning into.
I'm guessing you guys are really young. He must be a special breed of man. I'm a huge Disney nerd, but if I planned something like this_ for my husband_, he would be like WTH?!? If he did one or two of these things for me, man to woman, that would be cute.

OT- I saw this today, and thought of you...


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## EllaSuaveterre (Oct 2, 2016)

Update: we went to the pottery place and I painted him a mug in shades of red-his favorite color. I painted hearts on it, and such phrases as, "I love you" and "love forever". I told him that every time he drinks coffee, he'll think of me now. He agreed. 

The other night, I could just somehow tell Mr. Suaveterre had had a stressful day at work, so I turned off all the lights in the bedroom and put on my glowing, musical turtle nightlight- the one I use to help prevent nightmares and nighttime mind movies. The room suddenly resembled a beautiful turquoise underwater cove. I made him tea and we ended up talking for an hour- about his annoying co-workers, the odd beauty of programming, why humans evolved to like the seaside... everything. He loved it, I loved it, and we felt so close. His frustrations seemed to melt away with my validation and admiration. Now, next time he's stressed, I can do the same thing, but with a mug I myself made for him, a tangible reminder of my love. 

He made me a statuette of a kitten, in a sweet blue dress, carrying school books. It's adorable, and watching him paint it was somehow very heartwarming. Such focus and deliberation, just like with everything he does. I'll keep it on my night table and think of him every time I see it. 

Afterwards, we got home and I spread out a fur blanket on the floor, by a roaring fireplace, and we had the sandwiches and chocolate strawberries I had prepared, with mocktails. I tried to make a move, but he was so relaxed post-lunch that he wasn't into it. I kissed him and held him, and left him to have a nap while I relax for a bit, and prepare for our evening. We're probably staying up till midnight, so I need to pace myself.


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## EllaSuaveterre (Oct 2, 2016)

We went out last night to that sushi restaurant. He just got Sweet and Sour chicken, but I tired lobster sushi and it was amazing. We had drinks, and went home and drank some more and I put on the Disney wedding music and some "special" nightclothes- including the garter I wore on our wedding day- and we made love. There were candles everywhere, rose petals on the bed, satin sheets... it was truly the most romantic setup we'd EVER had, including our wedding night! The lovemaking itself was predictably unremarkable, because we're both sexually klutzy, but at least afterwards, I drew us a warm, candlelit bath with a sandalwood bath bomb, and we cleaned each other up and talked and cuddled. We kissed as the ball dropped, and we were going to play The And and give each other massages, but we were both so exhausted that we couldn't manage. 

This morning he woke me up with kisses and cuddles, and we sat together and snuggled on the couch, staring at the beautiful sunrise. He's out calling his mother in England on my parents' phone, but he said we should give each other the back massages when he returns. I'm sure I can also convince him to play a round of The And. I'm looking forward to it.


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## thefam (Sep 9, 2014)

Glad your date turned out well. 

Are you both able to talk about the sexual awkwardness and what you can do yo overcome it? You are really missing out on the potential for maximum fulfillment as a couple with a passionate and sensual sex life.


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## EllaSuaveterre (Oct 2, 2016)

thefam said:


> Glad your date turned out well.
> 
> Are you both able to talk about the sexual awkwardness and what you can do yo overcome it? You are really missing out on the potential for maximum fulfillment as a couple with a passionate and sensual sex life.


Yes, we know what to do to fix it. We both have medical problems which make fulfilling sex really very difficult. We know that to do to treat them, but we both have very low libido, and finding the motivation to fix it is difficult. Still, we talk about it often and we both want/enjoy sex... just not very much to make it a priority, I suppose. I'm not terribly worried, since we seem to have the same libido, the same sexual experience, and similar obstacles. We're both on the same page as far as I can gather from our conversations on the subject.


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