# Feeling anxiety and depression



## AZMOMOFTWO (Jun 30, 2008)

I've posted a number of times in other areas but first time in this area. A year ago almost to the day I found out for sure my husband was cheating on me. I'd suspected and it had been going on for about 6 months when I found out. When I found out I told him it was over, made him leave and was simply done. However, he realized he'd made a mistake and asked me to forgive him and to reconcile. We went to marriage counseling for a short time but its expensive and adding to my anxieties and we seemed to be doing fine. In retrospect probably quit too soon. 

I think forgiveness comes in stages and I do forgive him but due to him not telling me everything at first its made it more difficult. He withheld some key info, which later came out some I put 2+2 together and some he told me after I pretty much forced it out. He's not really offered any information. I don't mean details, don't want that but things like actually looking at another place to live (which I did not know) and she "happened to text him" right when he was on his way and she showed up, they actually did the tour again to show her! But he said he never intended to live there with her (I still am not buying this one). 

I won't go in to all the details but I am certain he has cut off all communication with her. She is not stable...a fact he'd not realized and has actually been fired from her job at the school for inappropriate behavioral with one of the students..a female.. She tried to contact him a few times only after he cut off all contact. Anyway, my heart and my head tell me it really is over there and he has been transparent going forward leaves iphone and computer for me to look at. He said he wanted to keep some of the other things from me so as not to hurt me and he admitted he thought I'd never take him back. Oh, and she is much younger than me too.. not such a good thing since I turned 40 this year.

Now to the issue, I have always been someone with anxiety. Never serious, never ruled me but I worry about a lot. I have a busy job, am terribly overworked, and have 2 kids, and our own business. With the slow economy its put a financial strain on us which is why I took on more work. 

Problem is that life seems to have lost its ... sparkle? I don't feel happiness when I should, at best sometimes content but mostly sad. Even things that would have made me really happy only get a mild reaction. I'm afraid that I am depressed. 

Its starting to really take over now. I also can't seem to get passed what my H did. We've been together for 23 years I thought we were partners and when I needed him most he checked out, worse he got involved with someone. Maybe I can't get passed it and thats what's making me depressed. I really don't know. 

I keep trying to figure out answers and how to just find some peace from the anxiety and happiness at the little things in life. Not sure where to turn...


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