# Entitled to a better life? Why don't they get one?



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Cheaters often say things like: "ILYBINILWY" "I need space" "I need room to grow" "I know you love me, but I need to be able to fly above where you are at." "I want a better life for me."

So... they join a community of religious people to learn about spirituality? Do they learn a foreign language just for the heck of it? Do they learn to paint beautiful landscape portraits? Do they sit and talk about art and literature with professors in the university they are studying at? Do they take time out to learn how to express themselves though the medium of poetry? Are they studying to learn the techniques they'll need to write the great novel they are sure they can write with just the right amount of encouragement?

No.

Instead they have sex with people half their age, go out drinking ridiculous amounts of alcohol, party all night so hard they wake up with some damned nasty looking tattoo, in the bed of someone who they don't remember from the night before? Awkward, as they claim they can recall every detail of what they did and said all night.

So when your cheater says any of the top paragraph, remember the likely reality of the bottom paragraph and try not to laugh too hard at them...


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## BigLiam (May 2, 2012)

Mine joined a few cults/religions(AA included). The, she banged some of the men in them. 
She tells me "the chemistry became sexualized". How do you respect someone so dumb.


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## cardinals_fan (Apr 20, 2012)

Mine hooked up with an ex felon who was in jail for, GET THIS!!!! Domestic abuse, imprisonment, contempt of court and harassment. Nice huh??? Dumb ass!!! Her lose, someone else gain!!!


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

cardinals_fan said:


> Mine hooked up with an ex felon who was in jail for, GET THIS!!!! Domestic abuse, imprisonment, contempt of court and harassment. Nice huh??? Dumb ass!!! Her lose, someone else gain!!!


Yes, but only she really, truly understands the fine fellow beneath the friendly faced felon!


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## YellowRoses (Jun 2, 2012)

Latest Q & A with my cheater

Q Why did you do it
A I was unhappy

Q What did you think would happen when you cheated again
A I didn't think that far ahead

Q What were you looking for ?
A I dunno

Q Did you find it?
A No

Q Are you happier now ?
A No

He doesn't know why, didn't think of the consequences and it didn't work out. Is he 8 yrs old FFS ?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

YellowRoses said:


> Latest Q & A with my cheater
> 
> Q Why did you do it
> A I was unhappy
> ...


Is he 8 years old? Yes.

Well, I'll qualify that statement.

My brother's wife cheated on him. 

I noticed something really strange about her. If she was in an argument she would lose years off her age every few minutes. She'd start out at her own age, then respond like a teenager, then degenerate to early teens, then to pre-adolescent, then five, then a toddler, then she would hurl herself to the ground and cry like a baby.

When I told my brother this he hadn't noticed it, but later confirmed what I'd noticed.

So it is possible that somehow cheaters DO react like children. It's possible a traumatic event in their life froze their emotional development at a certain age and that in a stressful situation they revert to that age. In your husbands case, would that be 8?


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## YellowRoses (Jun 2, 2012)

No, no trauma

More of a charmed life really - not materially spoilt but certainly honoured like a prince , firstborn son and all. I think that feeds his entitlement.

Trauma may go back to his parents. Dad left first wife with 3 children, got together with his mum when she was 16. She gave up their first child at 17 under pressure from parents but the relationship lasted and they had 3 more. He was first of these. I think that old guilt coloured their view - the children they had together could do no wrong


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## cardinals_fan (Apr 20, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> Yes, but only she really, truly understands the fine fellow beneath the friendly faced felon!


exactly


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

YellowRoses said:


> No, no trauma
> 
> More of a charmed life really - not materially spoilt but certainly honoured like a prince , firstborn son and all. I think that feeds his entitlement.
> 
> Trauma may go back to his parents. Dad left first wife with 3 children, got together with his mum when she was 16. She gave up their first child at 17 under pressure from parents but the relationship lasted and they had 3 more. He was first of these. I think that old guilt coloured their view - the children they had together could do no wrong



oh, dear. His life story could be called: "The Entitled Prince."


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> So... they join a community of religious people to learn about spirituality? Do they learn a foreign language just for the heck of it? Do they learn to paint beautiful landscape portraits? Do they sit and talk about art and literature with professors in the university they are studying at? Do they take time out to learn how to express themselves though the medium of poetry? Are they studying to learn the techniques they'll need to write the great novel they are sure they can write with just the right amount of encouragement?


I was doing most of these things, and that is in part what my STBEH used against me to justify his cheating. He said I was too intellectual. 

I think you know the answer to your question is rhetorical. 

Cheaters cheat because they made a conscious decision to do so. They do feel entitled in one way or another, so they choose to deceive their spouse and stab them in the back like an enemy rather than a spouse.

If I was so danged boring and intellectual why didn't he just divorce me. 

It would have been so much easier to process a divorce.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Sara8 said:


> I was doing most of these things, and that is in part what my STBEH used against me to justify his cheating. He said I was too intellectual.
> 
> I think you know the answer to your question is rhetorical.
> 
> ...


He's a pretty sad individual if he'd rather have a brainless bimbo.


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

lordmayhem said:


> He's a pretty sad individual if he'd rather have a brainless bimbo.


Thank you, LM.

That was a very kind comment


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Sara8 said:


> Thank you, LM.
> 
> That was a very kind comment


I like intelligent women. 

Which is just as well, really as my wife is MENSA material. Literally.

I have a degree, and that's it!

My wife has three degrees, an MA and 2 or 3 doctorates. Plus various diplomas.

What a fool your husband was!


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## E8H3 (May 7, 2012)

I don't understand the brainless bimbo thing either, but I guess rational people wouldn't. My husband makes fun of everyone for being materialistic, and falling into line behind the powers that be, but he desires a brainless bimbo, not a strong, smart woman. 

That's ok though, because I would prefer someone more intelligent at this point.


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## BigLiam (May 2, 2012)

s


Sara8 said:


> Thank you, LM.
> 
> That was a very kind comment


NPDs are threatened by others with a brain. How can they feel superior, when their spouses are smarter than they are?
WTF, Sara, couldn't you dumb yourself down a little for his highness?


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

BigLiam said:


> s
> 
> NPDs are threatened by others with a brain. How can they feel superior, when their spouses are smarter than they are?
> WTF, Sara, couldn't you dumb yourself down a little for his highness?


Thanks Liam, matt, and EB, and others who commented.

Liam you are likely right about the NPD. The counselors mentioned strong Naricissitic traits in STBEH. 

He was not formally diagnosed because he would not continue counseling.


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## ImStillHere (Apr 25, 2012)

My STBXH left me to find "happiness and peace". Three months later I asked him if he was happy and peaceful. Through major sobs, he said NO. 

He admitted that his life was soooo overwhelming and that he was soooo financially overextended and soooo alone. He really played the victim, especially since his current life is a result of ALL of his poor choices.


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## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> oh, dear. His life story could be called: "The Entitled Prince."


No NO My little brother already has that title....

And the answer to your question-"why didnt they get one?"

THEY Did-You just didnt know about it.


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