# Oh, for Pete's Sake!



## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

I know its not good etiquette to post a link to another marriage forum, but I had to share this. This is just...I have no words. :surprise:

(Mods, feel free to delete this thread if I'm breaking the rules). 


Health crisis - LoveShack.org Community Forums


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## prunus (Oct 29, 2016)

Ugh! Makes me sick!


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

Wow, there's actually a website for stuff like this?? Little shocks me anymore.


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> I know its not good etiquette to post a link to another marriage forum, but I had to share this. This is just...I have no words. :surprise:


Well, at least there were two posters calling her out.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Must be Mormons.....

Do you actually believe AP went and picked up both sets of kids at school? The BS must be on heavy medications or bed ridden. I can't read any more to find out. It's too unbelievable.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

This psycho has threads going back to October 2013, and she still hasn't been caught by her husband.


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

Website is blocked at work - cliffnotes?


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Yet people rush to R with people like this. They were in the fog, they compartmentalize right? That site should be required viewing of everyone thinking of R'ing. This gives you a much truer picture then anything that is posted on SI. Check out her valentines day post. I bet her husband will take her back though if he ever finds out. After all people do ****ty stuff when they are in the fog. She is just a good person who did a bad thing.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

LosingHim said:


> Website is blocked at work - cliffnotes?


She has been cheating with her best friend's husband for over three years. 


*
Have you, your spouses or your affair partner, or either spouse had a health crisis during the affair ? 
How did you deal? 

I'm genuinely worried and upset so just looking for anyone to relate, or to distract myself maybe.


 I am ok. My husband is away so I was just alone with my thoughts last night. . 

MM got hurt at work last week, it was an awful day. I'm listed as an emergency contact (please no judgement there, it turned out to be a smart choice since his wife was unable to be reached) he was rushed to hospital I ended up having to pick up their kids and mine from school and had really barely any idea what was going on for about 3 hours other than he was stable but might lose a limb!

It was honestly one of the most horrible few hours. I couldnt reach my husband or his wife and when I finally did she of course went to the hospital and I kept the kids overnight. 
I was able to go see him the next day and he was let out fairly quickly but then infection set in. Hoping things will be ok but he's still in a lot of pain. 
She took the morning off the day after the accident but then went right back to work. He's home but basically bedridden and goes to the hospital every 6 hours for iv antibiotics. 

It's just been a really emotional week. You really learn what's important to you when something scary happens. Still not completely out of the woods and he could still have a big recovery ahead. I needed someone to hug me. I had 7 kids here, all young enough that they were not able to see me upset really so I stayed as upbeat as I could and just kept thinking I really needed someone! I needed to see him and make sure he was ok, I couldn't cry as much as my body was trying to force me to, I couldn't say all the things I wanted to when I finally talked to him, or his wife and my husband I was just a mess. 

And sitting here now just thinking what if he hadn't made it which was a very real possibility.*


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## EunuchMonk (Jan 3, 2016)

You can tell that she is friends with the OM's wife. Taking her kids from school and dropping them off. Calling her to inform her that OM is in the hospital.

*My face after reading*:


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

that is what you call Hubris..... to her comment if the MM could have died....i was waiting for someone to respond your husband would have done handsprings of joy.


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

Lostinthought61 said:


> that is what you call Hubris..... to her comment if the MM could have died....i was waiting for someone to respond your husband would have done handsprings of joy.


All of it made me nauseous. It would have been best for everyone if the MM character had his d**k amputated.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

That thread just warms the cockles of my heart. How wonderful she was also an emergency contact because the W was out of town. I'm overjoyed with the humanity this woman is filled with.


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

Oh FFS. The part about the kids makes me even more sick. That poor BW. Not only will she find out some day that her husband and her best friend betrayed her, which is going to be awful enough…..but it’s going to hurt extra bad knowing that her kids are around the AP. Bringing the kids around your AP is an extra all time low.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Well....

She obviously needs another penis or two to fill the vast emptiness she is experiencing.

Maybe she can rent a horse or donkey to keep her occupied until OM gets better or she replaces him.


What a sausage box!!!


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

Yeswecan said:


> That thread just warms the cockles of my heart. How wonderful she was also an emergency contact because the W was out of town. I'm overjoyed with the humanity this woman is filled with.


LOL, I was nauseated by the thread until I got to that part and I just started laughing - She's openly talking about screwing someone else's (Apparently her friend's) husband and she's worried about being judged for being his emergency contact? Hello????


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

I don't go to that site anymore. It's a cesspool of cheaters with no remorse. 

Sent from my LG-US996 using Tapatalk


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

I just...I don't know....


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> This psycho has threads going back to October 2013, and she still hasn't been caught by her husband.


*Sure it ain't my RSXW?

She's rehooked back up, you know! A new man to cheat on!*


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

That's crazy!


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Doesn't surprise me. Vast majority of cheaters think this way it seems. Me me me me me, oh someone else is hurt that's a shame, me me me


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

I think there is a sub-species of cheater who on some level really believes they are helping their affair partners marriage out by, helping their sex life, providing emotional support, being an aunt/uncle to the kids, etc. 

Calls her OM MM too, likely has a fantasy she is actually the wife. Could turn into a bunny burner.

Tamat


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

She's trash. The thing that gets me, aside from the obvious, is that, as a long-term member of the site, other posters have to respond as if she is either sane or worth a respectful reply. "Sorry you're going through this." "(((HUGS)))"

Yeah, right.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

TX-SC said:


> I don't go to that site anymore. It's a cesspool of cheaters with no remorse.


True story.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

alte Dame said:


> She's trash. The thing that gets me, aside from the obvious, is that, as a long-term member of the site, other posters have to respond as if she is either sane or worth a respectful reply. "Sorry you're going through this." "(((HUGS)))"
> 
> Yeah, right.


That have to or they get banned.


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## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

GusPolinski said:


> That have to or they get banned.


This is true. I have been banned at LS multiple times for calling out losers such as the one who wrote the thread in question. LS is very pro "affair partner" and cheating: from what I understand and recall the site owner is one himself.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

Well, it's important to give cheaters happy joy-joy feelings. Or they might not post train wrecks that are impossible to ignore.


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## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> This psycho has threads going back to October 2013, and she still hasn't been caught by her husband.


I'm more inclined to believe it's a troll. 

I'm there, I just blocked her, she/he posts quite inflammatory stuff, most of it definitely to get a rise because she stopped "seeking advice" long ago.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

2ntnuf said:


> Must be Mormons.....
> 
> .


Im a recovering mormon. Curious, why do you think this?


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

How do you all read multiple sites? I can barely keep up with TAM.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

LosingHim said:


> Website is blocked at work - cliffnotes?




But they don't block TAM?


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

lucy999 said:


> Im a recovering mormon. Curious, why do you think this?


I thought it was humorous. If I have to explain it, it won't be.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

*Moderator Notice:*

Let's keep this on topic, please, OK?


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## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

Sure thing @MattMatt

What's the topic?


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## lostmyreligion (Oct 18, 2013)

blueinbr said:


> How do you all read multiple sites? I can barely keep up with TAM.


Evelyn Wood, a fast laptop/connection, and a two hour block of time in the very early morning, before work, when I can unplug from life and indulge my inner info pig.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

I guess I just have to accept that no matter how much I can try to put myself in someone else's shoes in the attempt to get a different perspective, and in hopes of understanding others better, there are things I have to realize about my own limitations in this ability. 

There are shoes like these...that are so beyond nasty, I can't even stand to see them from multiple states away, let alone try them on to understand...


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

2ntnuf said:


> I thought it was humorous. If I have to explain it, it won't be.


Mmmm....not really cool man.

If you are going to poke fun at a religion, make fun of the Amish...because they will never read it.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> Mmmm....not really cool man.
> 
> If you are going to poke fun at a religion, make fun of the Amish...because they will never read it.


:rofl:


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> Mmmm....not really cool man.
> 
> If you are going to poke fun at a religion, make fun of the Amish...because they will never read it.


>


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

blueinbr said:


> But they don't block TAM?


Nope


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

The BS's both work away a LOT. They live next door to each other and share a yard. The BS's think they are all besties. They simply aren't suspicious due to the closeness of the relationship. It's really sad, actually.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)




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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

alte Dame said:


> She's trash. The thing that gets me, aside from the obvious, is that, as a long-term member of the site, other posters have to respond as if she is either sane or worth a respectful reply. "Sorry you're going through this." "(((HUGS)))"
> 
> Yeah, right.


Totally agree. I've read most of her threads and find her total lack of remorse toward not only her husband but also her "friend" so reprehensible. 

But she's just one of many that are truly vile. The heavy handed moderation on that site ensures that their delicate sensibilities are not hurt. Don't want to cause a wayward to reflect on the carnage they're causing. 

That section of LS is a true Bizaro world. Where the few dual homewreckers are like heroes that many wish to emulate. But the site allows people a glimpse into the dark heart of waywards. How so many WWs that are supposedly trying to R, still pine away for a man they know in retrospect only offered empty compliments that they rewarded with porn level sex but they still can't help themselves. Also how many are now disgusted by their BHs touch.

What's truly surprising is how many WWs would be willing to blow up their marriages and families for an OM that they truly barely know. It's only the fact that most MM are not as keen on abandoning their families that keeps them with their plan B husband.


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## Hope Shimmers (Jul 10, 2015)

LS has tried, for years, to keep two forums: one dedicated to the BS and one dedicated to the WS. What they did wrong, in my opinion, is allow cross-posting. Because it was not done equally. It is not just negative regarding the infidelity forum over there. The OW/OM forum there is so controversial; as an example, there is one poster there that has defined HIMSELF as such a hypocrite on BOTH forums, yet he is allowed to pontificate all over the place on the OM/OW forum. WTF.

To answer Gus' question, the head moderator there is an ex-(single) OM who was in many, MANY affairs with WWs in his past, and is quite direct, public, and frank in discussing those experiences. I'm not saying anything here that he has not voluntarily made public information, so this should be acceptable to repeat.

Moderation there is the worst. Inconsistent, spontaneously made-up rules, idiocy, emotional reactions versus rules, over many years - but worse during the last couple of years by far. The head moderator needs to go. Emotionally he has a hair-trigger. The owner would do well to fire him, and he would also have a much better internet traffic record because banning EVERYONE who you might possibly disagree with, over the course of many years, has seriously slowed down the internet traffic of that site. If I were the owner (who, by the way, disappeared a few years ago) I would be infuriated at the mismanagement, and I would go in and clean house.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

Affaircare said:


>


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## Cyclonic (Dec 11, 2016)

I've been banned on LS for voicing opinions that doesn't agree with management etiquette regarding (PC term) wayward spouse coddling. I wasn't vicious, but I did take them to task. Shame on me. 
LS is notorious for protecting those who draw the most readers in. They allowed certain individuals free reign for many years but when they became to hot instead of banning they were given time off for bad behavior. If you were a newbie, without any history and did one tenth of what the chosen ones did you were axed without warning.
The moderation is pathetic self serving shooting from the hip. The head moderator thinks he is wisdom incarnate, yet he is a remorseless cheating pos himself. I had a few hundred posts, and PM'd many others. Learned a lot about LS inner workings. LS is horrid. I have no clue if it happens here, but on LS there are many hook ups and you're treated to a front row seat to the drama. Moderators love it readership numbers soar. I read a few, made me sick, and what was said should've led to banning, but it didn't.
Moderators posts their advice using another name or two. Unlike here and SI where moderation is out in the open as it should be. They hide behind everyday names when they moderate. That in of itself sucks.
If a member is their friend, they get special treatment and if they don't like you because you caught them telling two different stories and call them out, they tell their buddy and your taken for a ride. Banned. Which is what happened to me. 
At least on SI, they provide a safe spot for cheaters by only allowing cheaters to talk. They use a stop sign. It works. If a betrayed posts it is deleted. Some may disagree with that, but I think it helps. There is a discussion with one where the wife doesn't know her husband is cheating. No coddling there. But sure there is coddling but there is a lot more chewing out by former cheating spouses and guidance given for those who want to get out of infidelity. Fireworks happen when the betrayed also posts there. But moderation like here is pretty good.
Thank goodness.


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## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

Cyclonic said:


> If you were a newbie, without any history and did one tenth of what the chosen ones did you were axed without warning.


It's been my experience at LS that new posters that start right in by blasting the cheaters which predominate the site, are immediately permabanned. There is no doubt the site is pro-cheater, there are entire subforums dedicated to the OM and OW and they freely discuss how they've destroyed marriages and families with no regard to the collateral damage, only about their own selfish needs.

That much being said, it does naturally follow that established long term members would be given more slack if they violated whatever the TOS of that particular site may be, no matter how horrible. 



Cyclonic said:


> The moderation is pathetic self serving shooting from the hip. The head moderator thinks he is wisdom incarnate, yet he is a remorseless cheating pos himself.


I too have heard the site owner is a cheater, which would explain the attitude and philosophy of the site.



Cyclonic said:


> Moderators posts their advice using another name or two. Unlike here and SI where moderation is out in the open as it should be. They hide behind everyday names when they moderate. That in of itself sucks.


On this point I will disagree with you. I have moderated several internet discussion boards over the years and many of them use the strategy where moderators have a separate, normal user ID, where they can post without other members thinking their posts somehow represent the opinion of the site- which is good, because they don't. It also takes pressure off the moderators, because they don't have to give extra thought to every post they make as a regular user, and wonder if their post is inline with what a moderator should write. There are a few other distinct advantages to moderators having a separate user ID but those are the main ones.


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## Cyclonic (Dec 11, 2016)

browser said:


> It's been my experience at LS that new posters that start right in by blasting the cheaters which predominate the site, are immediately permabanned.


I was referring to those with fewer than 20 posts. Trolls or inconsiderate should be banned immediately. It takes courage to post. When they get confidence and contest a favorite, banning is done. Very heavy handed when it shouldn't be. Its supposed to be a help forum, not a fricking soap opera.



browser said:


> There is no doubt the site is pro-cheater, there are entire subforums dedicated to the OM and OW and they freely discuss how they've destroyed marriages and families with no regard to the collateral damage, only about their own selfish needs.


That's exactly right.



browser said:


> I too have heard the site owner is a cheater, which would explain the attitude and philosophy of the site.


Which explains why the moderators are unremorseful bottom feeders.



browser said:


> On this point I will disagree with you. I have moderated several internet discussion boards over the years and many of them use the strategy where moderators have a separate, normal user ID, where they can post without other members thinking their posts somehow represent the opinion of the site- which is good, because they don't. It also takes pressure off the moderators, because they don't have to give extra thought to every post they make as a regular user, and wonder if their post is inline with what a moderator should write. There are a few other distinct advantages to moderators having a separate user ID but those are the main ones.


I'll agree to disagree. On this and SI the moderators aren't hidden, they moderate and post as themselves. It lets us know they are human to, not hiding behind a mask like moderators on LS. Moderators are both betrayed and former waywards who have reconciled or divorced. Hiding creates distrust, and on this type of site if you don't believe in the moderators honesty then why be there? I agree, certain forums hiding that fact might be necessary. Here, and on SI, LS, and relationship forums it helps to know moderators have been there to.
We all hide our identities my name is not Cyclonic although my life has been a cyclone. Anonymity is what allows us to talk.
Not to T/J but here and on SI there is little concern about moderation unlike LS. Why? Because moderation does there job AND posts as members.
There are no favorites, warnings are given, and if the rules continue being ignored out you go as it should be.
But there is one thing I do like more on SI. You can speak very free. Swearing, or colorful words are allowed. I think that is great


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

TAMAT said:


> I think there is a sub-species of cheater who on some level really believes they are helping their affair partners marriage out by, helping their sex life, providing emotional support, being an aunt/uncle to the kids, etc.
> 
> Calls her OM MM too, likely has a fantasy she is actually the wife. Could turn into a bunny burner.
> 
> Tamat


The rare one is the one who actually feels guilty. This type of thinking is the common one.

I think that site is a necessary evil but it should be required reading from every BS just so they can know they kind of people they are dealing with. And make no mistake this is the kind of people most of them are.


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## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

Cyclonic said:


> if you don't believe in the moderators honesty then why be there?


I personally don't frequent a particular site nor do I specifically avoidit because of how I feel about the moderating, unless it's so restrictive it prevents me from posting to a significant extent. Whether the moderators are "honest" is of no concern to me. I don't post on forums such as LS because I find the philosophy of supporting cheaters and affair partner to be unpleasant and I am unable to express my displeasure, other sites, such as ENA are way too restrictive when it comes to moderating so I've given up on that one as well. I've tried other relationship forums but don't find them to be as busy or as interesting in their content or the quality of the membership.


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

I got banned for a language violation at Loveshack. I called my ex girlfriend who was addicted to crack an a prostitute, a crack W***e. That was her words, but they somehow thought that was more derogatory than crack prostitute. This was in a sex forum no less. For me it is ridiculous how we are afraid of some words that mean exactly the same as a lot of other words. OK to say butt but not ass. OK to say poop but not S**t. Using the F word as an adjective has no sexual meaning whatsoever and yet will get you banned.

As an intelligent person I find it very funny how we decide which words are bad and which are good when they mean the same thing. What does F you mean anyway? Does it mean that the person wants to have intercourse with me? Why is that a bad word when it means intercourse? It is bad because many were taught that it was a bad word by others who do not know why it is a bad word but that is what they learned.


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## Cyclonic (Dec 11, 2016)

browser said:


> I personally don't frequent a particular site nor do I specifically avoidit because of how I feel about the moderating, unless it's so restrictive it prevents me from posting to a significant extent. Whether the moderators are "honest" is of no concern to me. I don't post on forums such as LS because I find the philosophy of supporting cheaters and affair partner to be unpleasant and I am unable to express my displeasure, other sites, such as ENA are way too restrictive when it comes to moderating so I've given up on that one as well. I've tried other relationship forums but don't find them to be as busy or as interesting in their content or the quality of the membership.


Honesty in the form of treating everyone whether newbie or veteran the same. Rules are rules. The preferntial treatment of so called buddy's (aka a$$kissers) has destroyed credibility. If you voice your displeasure within forum guidelines and are summarily banned, but if a modbud writes the same thing and isn't. How honest is that?
Life isn't fair. We're here looking for support for injustice in our relationship or to help get out of infidelity or any number of topics with marriage. Not to watch the (while entertaining) bickering when forum hook ups fail or be scared to write something not PC and face banishment, even in PM's. Is this honest? Shouldn't we expect the moderators to be fair and honest in their moderation? I would think so. The moderators here and SI post frequently to offer advice and support. When they moderate they make it very clear. It works. At least in my opinion it does.

The topic if I remember is how LS treats cheaters. An example was given. Here is another, and you better hurry before LS cleans it up, I mean censors it.


> Noting the skillful segue off the topic of the thread, I'll (William the all powerful) close this up. No sense in any members getting in trouble for this more than necessary. I'll do a review later and clean it up.


answers you don't want to hear - LoveShack.org Community Forums

If moderation here believes this is to much delete, and my apologies.

T/J over.


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## Hope Shimmers (Jul 10, 2015)

William is actually 3 different people. One of them being the head moderator. You can tell by the phrasing/spelling who is who (or at least, I can). Publicly available information posted over there. I know the head moderator's member name and actually his real first name too, but I will not post that since it's not publicly available information. Similarly, Robert is 3 or 4 different people. 

Oh well. It's a free internet and we can all live where it feels like home. I considered myself an OW once upon a time, many years ago. I got involved with a man who was separated and living on his own, and after we were "engaged" and had actually rented an apartment together (but before we moved into it), he moved back with his wife. Out of "obligation and guilt". I was so emotionally vested I did not walk away immediately. Thus I was an OW while he vacillated between her and me for a period of time. So I do understand how horrible it feels to be on that end of it, but I hate the idea of OW who consciously go into an affair and just don't seem to have any empathy or anything but selfishness.

I will never date a separated man again.


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## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

Cyclonic said:


> Honesty in the form of treating everyone whether newbie or veteran the same. Rules are rules.


Realistically it doesn't happen that way and I'm not even sure I agree with you that it should. A new poster that comes into a forum with guns blaring, making flaming posts and name-calling is probably looking at a permanent ban because their motives are suspicious and they do not have an established record of contributions to the forum. An old member, whose motives are not in question, who might cross a line and break a rule in their hasty knee jerk emotional response to post they find offensive, may get a slap on the wrist, and yes I think that's fair.

The exact thing happened to me this very morning, here on this forum. Despite the fact that I discourage others to call out a troll because it's 1- against the rules and 2- not a good idea because it only feeds the troll, I made a callout on just such a thread, which is now closed by the moderators one of whom also openly questioned it's validity (because it was such a blatent work of fiction). I received a warning from a moderator to basically cut the crap, but there was no ban, and no "flag" on my account for the transaction. You can bet a 5 post newbie would have taken a harder hit, and for good reason. The good contributions do, to some extent outweigh the bad. That's why your car insurance might not go up for the first speeding ticket but it will after the third accident especially if you've been with that same insurance company for a long time. 



Cyclonic said:


> The preferntial treatment of so called buddy's (aka a$$kissers) has destroyed credibility. If you voice your displeasure within forum guidelines and are summarily banned, but if a modbud writes the same thing and isn't. How honest is that?


Hard working moderators on a forum are certainly going to get a more lenient response from their fellow moderators. Cops speed all the time and don't get tickets. You said it yourself:



Cyclonic said:


> Life isn't fair.


You're starting to sound somewhat whiney about the policies over at LS. I'm going to suggest you take a deep breath, understand they are going to do whatever they want over there and there's nothing you can do about it except decide to take your posts elsewhere and not waste your valuable time and energy getting bent out of shape over the unfairness of it all.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

Aside from the fact that cheaters are coddled there, my other issue is one particular member who thinks she is the goddess of infidelity and acts like she is the only one who should have a say. Her husband posts on there too and he basically just agrees with whatever she says. She's really obnoxious. 

Sent from my LG-US996 using Tapatalk


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## Cyclonic (Dec 11, 2016)

browser said:


> Realistically it doesn't happen that way and I'm not even sure I agree with you that it should. A new poster that comes into a forum with guns blaring, making flaming posts and name-calling is probably looking at a permanent ban because their motives are suspicious and they do not have an established record of contributions to the forum. An old member, whose motives are not in question, who might cross a line and break a rule in their hasty knee jerk emotional response to post they find offensive, may get a slap on the wrist, and yes I think that's fair.
> 
> The exact thing happened to me this very morning, here on this forum. Despite the fact that I discourage others to call out a troll because it's 1- against the rules and 2- not a good idea because it only feeds the troll, I made a callout on just such a thread, which is now closed by the moderators one of whom also openly questioned it's validity (because it was such a blatent work of fiction). I received a warning from a moderator to basically cut the crap, but there was no ban, and no "flag" on my account for the transaction. You can bet a 5 post newbie would have taken a harder hit, and for good reason. The good contributions do, to some extent outweigh the bad. That's why your car insurance might not go up for the first speeding ticket but it will after the third accident especially if you've been with that same insurance company for a long time.
> 
> ...


We can agree to disagree. I wasn't referring to moderators moderating themselves but moderate the readership fairly. With the exception of LS, moderators here and SI do a great job of being fair. Well, unlike LS who hide themselves we know who they are and because we do there is accountability. What Ms. Shimmers wrote is what I heard they interchange themselves so William can be mods, b, c, or d. Same for Robert, and the others. You can tell them apart. It is ridiculous. AND they all have there own member name to, or three or four.
You are entitled to your opinion.
Regarding fair play. I can spin sentences to, or leave things out to change context,



> Life isn't fair. We're here looking for support for injustice in our relationship or to help get out of infidelity or any number of topics with marriage. Not to watch the (while entertaining) bickering when forum hook ups fail or be scared to write something not PC and face banishment, even in PM's.


I guess being on a relationship forum wanting fair play by the moderators is whiny in your opinion.
Fair enough.
So a first time poster who maybe hurting or heaven forbid whiny goes against forum rules, but because they are new should be banned immediately whereas a seasoned pro shouldn't. Okay.
A new employee is hired he makes a critical error costing the company money, he is fired. You have been working for many many years. You made the same mistake, but because you've been with the company you only deserve a hand slap not firing? 

We agree to disagree.

@TX-SC

There are many know it alls. I guess being married to the second president has its perks at least on LS. But there are posters here that post on all the forums, who believe they're experts but if you read there posts, its do as I say not as I do. But life isn't fair. Dang whining again.


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## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

Cyclonic said:


> A new employee is hired he makes a critical error costing the company money, he is fired. You have been working for many many years. You made the same mistake, but because you've been with the company you only deserve a hand slap not firing?


Your analogy is poor. We were talking about breaking rules, not making a mistake. 

So yes, a valued employee who has been with the company for years might get a writeup if he's caught smoking in the bathroom but a guy who is caught doing the same during his first week might get the ax permanently and I don't see that as being the least bit unfair.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

I just read through that whole thread and this whole thread, and I find it abhorrent that a) this woman has been cheating with her beast friend's husband for such a long time, and b) that the LS community actually condones this type of behavior. I know there are women like this out there, and I hate that they give the rest of us a bad rep.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

FeministInPink said:


> I just read through that whole thread and this whole thread, and I find it abhorrent that a) this woman has been cheating with her beast friend's husband for such a long time, and b) that the LS community actually condones this type of behavior. I know there are women like this out there, and I hate that they give the rest of us a bad rep.


IIRC, the OP and the WH/MM she is having an affair with knew each other first and then his BW put in a lot of effort to also befriend the OP. If I am correct on the timeline, the affair actually predated the friendship between the women. The OP literally allowed her AP's BW to become her friend while there was already an affair in progress. wrap your head around that, eh?

To be fair to some of the LS readership, I was on LS when she posted and read the first few pages in real time. There WERE people who came down on her, very politely as far as I am concerned, for her behavior. Those posts, for the most part, were removed by mods before the next afternoon.


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## rockon (May 18, 2016)

Vinnydee said:


> I called my ex girlfriend who was addicted to crack an a prostitute, a crack W***e.


Um......and the reason you would consider this woman to be GF material? :scratchhead:

Just curious.


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## Cyclonic (Dec 11, 2016)

browser said:


> Your analogy is poor. We were talking about breaking rules, not making a mistake.
> 
> So yes, a valued employee who has been with the company for years might get a writeup if he's caught smoking in the bathroom but a guy who is caught doing the same during his first week might get the ax permanently and I don't see that as being the least bit unfair.


I guess in your mind LS is justified doing what they do.


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## Cyclonic (Dec 11, 2016)

MJJEAN said:


> IIRC, the OP and the WH/MM she is having an affair with knew each other first and then his BW put in a lot of effort to also befriend the OP. If I am correct on the timeline, the affair actually predated the friendship between the women. The OP literally allowed her AP's BW to become her friend while there was already an affair in progress. wrap your head around that, eh?
> 
> To be fair to some of the LS readership, I was on LS when she posted and read the first few pages in real time. There WERE people who came down on her, very politely as far as I am concerned, for her behavior. Those posts, for the most part, were removed by mods before the next afternoon.


I agree completely. LS has censored many good threads, posts because moderation deemed them harsh on the cheater.


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## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

Cyclonic said:


> I agree completely. LS has censored many good threads, posts because moderation deemed them harsh on the cheater.


Why does it bother you so much? It's not the only relationship forum on the internet.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> This psycho has threads going back to October 2013, and she still hasn't been caught by her husband.


She sounds like a total nut job.



POS cheater said:


> MM got hurt at work last week, it was an awful day. I'm listed as an emergency contact (please no judgement there, it turned out to be a smart choice since his wife was unable to be reached) he was rushed to hospital I ended up having to pick up their kids


WTF?!? The affair partner is the emergency contact?!? What does she mean she "picked up his kids"?!?



POS cheater said:


> I had 7 kids here, all young enough that they were not able to see me upset really so I stayed as upbeat as I could and just kept thinking I really needed someone!


Can you even imagine? WOW.... Speechless. This turd is even playing babysitter. SHE needed someone LOL? I WEEP for the 7 kids. WEEP.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

Vinnydee said:


> I got banned for a language violation at Loveshack. I called my ex girlfriend who was addicted to crack a prostitute, a crack W***e. That was her words, but they somehow thought that was more derogatory than crack prostitute. This was in a sex forum no less. For me it is ridiculous


LMFAO! Out of morbid curiosity...

At what point, did you know about the crack?


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

BetrayedDad said:


> She sounds like a total nut job.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Have you read her threads? She basically thinks it's all good because she loves her husband and, due to him being away for work often, isn't taking anything away from him by having this affair. By her accounts, when he's home they have a good marriage. When he's away, she leans on the OM as kind of a husband surrogate physically and emotionally. It's mind blowing how she can compartmentalize these relationships and I'm saying that as someone who compartmentalizes very well and was a WW to boot!

According to her, the BW asked she be emergency contact because they are close friends and she can be more easily reached. The WH/MM is out of the hospital now and the OP is driving him to and from his IV antibiotic treatments, last I checked. 

Here's the kicker. The OP thinks the BW isn't doing enough for the WH/MM. This woman is working to support her family while her cheating husband is injured and being chauffeured around by his married lover, who the poor BW thinks is a great friend helping out in their time of need.


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## Cyclonic (Dec 11, 2016)

browser said:


> Why does it bother you so much? It's not the only relationship forum on the internet.


You do not know my history, as I do not know yours. Why does this topic bother you?

There are many forums dealing with infidelity. The topic was LS coddling cheaters, and showing preferential treatment. Both I disagree with, and what LS banned me for. LS pretends to be safe. Well they are safe if you are the cheater.

Fortunately not all forums are like that.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

MJJEAN said:


> Have you read her threads? She basically thinks it's all good because she loves her husband and, due to him being away for work often, isn't taking anything away from him by having this affair. By her accounts, when he's home they have a good marriage. When he's away, she leans on the OM as kind of a husband surrogate physically and emotionally. It's mind blowing how she can compartmentalize these relationships and I'm saying that as someone who compartmentalizes very well and was a WW to boot!
> 
> According to her, the BW asked she be emergency contact because they are close friends and she can be more easily reached. The WH/MM is out of the hospital now and the OP is driving him to and from his IV antibiotic treatments, last I checked.
> 
> Here's the kicker. The OP thinks the BW isn't doing enough for the WH/MM. This woman is working to support her family while her cheating husband is injured and being chauffeured around by his married lover, who the poor BW thinks is a great friend helping out in their time of need.


It's one thing to be an affair partner whose f-ing someone's spouse. It's a whole nother level to be intimately involved in the betrayed spouses family matters. I mean her kids?

Delusional is an under statement. I do believe you on some level she "thinks she's helping them"... A real big help would be not to f the poor woman's husband in the first place. 

This women is just a disgusting person. THREE YEARS.... Of smiling in her best friends face then screwing her husband? It's beyond belief either BS could be so clueless. Just wow.


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## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

Cyclonic said:


> You do not know my history, as I do not know yours. Why does this topic bother you?


Why do you answer my question with another question?

If you answer my question, as to "why what happens on LS bothers you so much", I will answer your question to me.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

When it is discovered, and it will be, the confrontation will be epic in its proportions. Then she will be back complaining about how mean and vindictive her BH is being to her in the divorce.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> When it is discovered, and it will be, the confrontation will be epic in its proportions. Then she will be back complaining about how mean and vindictive her BH is being to her in the divorce.


Don't forget about how horrid the BW is, too!

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to decieve.

The OP and MM are right pieces of work, hope the poor BH and BW find out sooner than later. And there are kids in the mix, terrible!


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## EllaSuaveterre (Oct 2, 2016)

Oh gods this poor woman. "I really needed someone! I needed to see him and make sure he was ok, I couldn't cry as much as my body was trying to force me to, I couldn't say all the things I wanted to when I finally talked to him..."

How awful. Yes, I feel bad, as everyone does, for his wife and her husband, but my heart breaks for her. She should have known that this kind of thing is bound to happen when you get attached to someone you're not meant to be attached to, but she's clearly in worlds of grief and suffering and torment, and I have immense compassion for her. I can't imagine what it must be like when the person you love is very ill and you're not allowed to grieve or worry or express your pain!! My Mr. Suaveterre ad a tumor once and I was with him the entire time in the hospital. I grilled the doctors and nurses, I researched everything I could on his condition, I begged my parents and friends and even teachers and acquaintances for help. She can't do that. She can't stay the night with him, or tell her family and friends how broken and terrified she is. She may not even be able to pray about her pain, for fear that her God(s) will reject her!! How truly, truly awful. I can't imagine I would be able to bear it. If I hadn't been banned from LS I'd express my sympathy and offer an ear.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

bandit.45 said:


> This psycho has threads going back to October 2013, and she still hasn't been caught by her husband.


 And this one isn't the worst. Real piece of work/(dung?) there.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Rubix Cubed said:


> And this one isn't the worst. Real piece of work/(dung?) there.


I think she is more typical than not, she is just stupid enough to post it. Make no mistake this is who they are.


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## Hope Shimmers (Jul 10, 2015)

EllaSuaveterre said:


> If I hadn't been banned from LS I'd express my sympathy and offer an ear.


Sorry... I was reading this thread and I couldn't believe this. LS BANNED you, Ella Suaveterre? For what?

That forum/moderators are freaking UNBELIEVABLE. 

Banned YOU??? You are the nicest person ever


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## EllaSuaveterre (Oct 2, 2016)

Hope Shimmers said:


> Sorry... I was reading this thread and I couldn't believe this. LS BANNED you, Ella Suaveterre? For what?
> 
> That forum/moderators are freaking UNBELIEVABLE.
> 
> Banned YOU??? You are the nicest person ever


Aww, you're sweet. For being childlike and having a melodramatic way with words and an "unbelievable" story. Essentially, they mistook me for a troll because between my age, his age, and my childlike mannerisms, there were just too many "extreme" and "unusual" circumstances for the mods there to believe I was a real person. Even though I had literally been there since I met my H at 15.


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## Quality (Apr 26, 2016)

Hope Shimmers said:


> Sorry... I was reading this thread and I couldn't believe this. LS BANNED you, Ella Suaveterre? For what?
> 
> That forum/moderators are freaking UNBELIEVABLE.
> 
> Banned YOU??? You are the nicest person ever


William/Carhill is a complete wayward that thinks of himself as NOT a wayward so he's the worst mod there can possible be ~ nobody likes him because he's schizophrenic on the subject at hand. 

Not saying it was Ella but I read on the deep web a big file about someone that was having EA's, sending pics or more with various persons on LS by private messaging. To be a bit fair, their terms of service do indicate pretty clearly the mods can read and look at anything transmitted through that system that they want and a few of those wayward mods ARE surely reading just about everything {and maybe even copying it and storing it elsewhere}. Not that I'd know but, I suppose anything is possible. Just think maybe posters that want to hook up and flirt with still married persons on infidelity forums should consider that they are or will be monitored and rat'ed out, in time. 

Do the names DKT3 or maybe Chevy ring any bells to any of you? Maybe it has something to do with that or them?

I'm probably mistaken.


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## Handy (Jul 23, 2017)

It could be the BW knows about the OP and the BW doesn't really care. She could even have her special friends on her work rounds. Maybe the OP's H doesn't care about what his W does.

I see a woman (OP) with poor boundaries that still cares too much for a former lover (guessing about the former lover part)


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## EllaSuaveterre (Oct 2, 2016)

Quality said:


> William/Carhill is a complete wayward that thinks of himself as NOT a wayward so he's the worst mod there can possible be ~ nobody likes him because he's schizophrenic on the subject at hand.
> 
> Not saying it was Ella but I read on the deep web a big file about someone that was having EA's, sending pics or more with various persons on LS by private messaging. To be a bit fair, their terms of service do indicate pretty clearly the mods can read and look at anything transmitted through that system that they want and a few of those wayward mods ARE surely reading just about everything {and maybe even copying it and storing it elsewhere}. Not that I'd know but, I suppose anything is possible. Just think maybe posters that want to hook up and flirt with still married persons on infidelity forums should consider that they are or will be monitored and rat'ed out, in time.
> 
> ...


No, I don't remember any of those people, but to have an EA on a relationship help forum is... shocking.


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## Hope Shimmers (Jul 10, 2015)

EllaSuaveterre said:


> No, I don't remember any of those people, but to have an EA on a relationship help forum is... shocking.


Well, then I'm shocking.

It wasn't an affair, though. I met DKT3 on that forum; he approached me. We had a relationship for several months, but we were both single. He was divorced and living in a different state from his ex-wife. He had divorced her several years prior because she had a 2-year affair with another man. When he decided to re-marry her, I ended the relationship (which he wanted to continue despite re-marrying her). Can you say 'hypocrite'?


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## Hope Shimmers (Jul 10, 2015)

Quality said:


> William/Carhill is a complete wayward that thinks of himself as NOT a wayward so he's the worst mod there can possible be ~ nobody likes him because he's schizophrenic on the subject at hand.
> 
> Not saying it was Ella but I read on the deep web a big file about someone that was having EA's, sending pics or more with various persons on LS by private messaging. To be a bit fair, their terms of service do indicate pretty clearly the mods can read and look at anything transmitted through that system that they want and a few of those wayward mods ARE surely reading just about everything {and maybe even copying it and storing it elsewhere}. Not that I'd know but, I suppose anything is possible. Just think maybe posters that want to hook up and flirt with still married persons on infidelity forums should consider that they are or will be monitored and rat'ed out, in time.
> 
> ...


The moderators on LS can't read PMs. I know this because I own a forum that runs the same software, same version, and you have to have administrator privileges to do that. None of them do. That's why they all use the same moderator names -- it's an admin privilege to create a new moderator account, and the only admin is the owner who is never there. 

To read PMs you have to be able to access the actual database and search it. I can't access my own forum members' PMs unless I go into the database itself and search for them in a really hard way. Moderator privileges do not include accessing the database. I guarantee you that no one on LS is reading PMs that aren't directly sent to them.


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## Hope Shimmers (Jul 10, 2015)

Oh, but there is a whole dark undercurrent of people on LS having affairs and relationships. Many of the regular posters with each other. I know most of them. I could go on and on with those stories, but I won't.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

And of course, the little power-hungry tyrant William is right there threatening everyone with his tiny little hand poised above the 'ban' button if they don't get on board and 'support' the classless pig who started the thread.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

TX-SC said:


> I don't go to that site anymore. It's a cesspool of cheaters with no remorse.
> 
> Sent from my LG-US996 using Tapatalk


Well, at least it's honest in that respect. Remorse is something the huge majority of cheaters lack.:frown2:


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

Handy said:


> It could be the BW knows about the OP and the BW doesn't really care. She could even have her special friends on her work rounds. Maybe the OP's H doesn't care about what his W does.
> 
> I see a woman (OP) with poor boundaries that still cares too much for a former lover (guessing about the former lover part)


 I'm just hoping the BH and BW are knocking boots, and the OP is too stupid to realize it. It will be an interesting read when her house of cards finally collapses.


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## Harken Banks (Jun 12, 2012)

I did not read all of the comments, but I did read the link. While my wife, unknown to me, was in her affair, our third daughter had a bad accident falling through a glass door. Her chest was all ripped up blood was everywhere. I came home from the office, cradled her, and took her to emergency care from where she was transported to Maine Medical Center for surgery. I was covered in her blood and no one was doing anything until I arrived and said this is not OK. They put a dish towel on her. I lifted it and saw that she was severely injured. It was horrifying. No one called an ambulance or did anything and it was urgent so I loaded her into my car. So she had some reparative surgery and spent the night in the hospital with me and my wife. Unknown to me, my wife was texting her boyfriend all night while we were there. There are some things you cannot understand. Her explanation to me later was that his brother had been in a car accident in Australia and was in serious condition and she was just concerned. That, of course, also turned out to be a lie. People who get used to lying get used to lying and it comes first nature. And concern for the affair partner over your own family is just ridiculous. Affair partners are scum.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

Oh yes.....Autumn Moon.....

She is one WW that I truly hope gets caught and loses everything.....

So entitled and disgusting in her A with that POS MM 'friend'......they both use and manipulate the family friendship to cover their constant contact.....it is revolting and she is utterly unremorseful....and actually claims she loves her BH, but will never give up POSOM.

Man do I hope her BH clues in one day to what's been going on for years.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

sokillme said:


> I think she is more typical than not, she is just stupid enough to post it. Make no mistake this is who they are.


I agree with this 100%.....

I think every BS should go read there after discovery....THIS is what they are dealing with.

And LS is better for this than SI.....SI will not allow active cheaters who refuse to end the A post, so the insights you get there are of a WS who at least is trying to fix themselves.

LS is unfiltered selfishness on display.....getting a view into what passes for a thought process in an unremorseful and active cheater is eye opening but also very informative for a BS trying to figure out what their WS might be thinking.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

I hope she gets caught.


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

nevermind


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Harken Banks said:


> I did not read all of the comments, but I did read the link. While my wife, unknown to me, was in her affair, our third daughter had a bad accident falling through a glass door. Her chest was all ripped up blood was everywhere. I came home from the office, cradled her, and took her to emergency care from where she was transported to Maine Medical Center for surgery. I was covered in her blood and no one was doing anything until I arrived and said this is not OK. They put a dish towel on her. I lifted it and saw that she was severely injured. It was horrifying. No one called an ambulance or did anything and it was urgent so I loaded her into my car. So she had some reparative surgery and spent the night in the hospital with me and my wife. Unknown to me, my wife was texting her boyfriend all night while we were there. There are some things you cannot understand. Her explanation to me later was that his brother had been in a car accident in Australia and was in serious condition and she was just concerned. That, of course, also turned out to be a lie. People who get used to lying get used to lying and it comes first nature. And concern for the affair partner over your own family is just ridiculous. Affair partners are scum.


I wonder if the problem with waywards like your wife actually enjoy the lying as much as they enjoy the affair?

If the secret life they have is just as important to them as the affair?

Perhaps the real joy is the fact that they can lie to their clueless, trusting spouse and that the fact they can keep them bamboozled for so long is what gives them a buzz? Even more so than the illicit extramarital sex?


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Harken Banks said:


> Unknown to me, my wife was texting her boyfriend all night while we were there. There are some things you cannot understand. Her explanation to me later was that his brother had been in a car accident in Australia and was in serious condition and she was just concerned. That, of course, also turned out to be a lie. People who get used to lying get used to lying and it comes first nature. And concern for the affair partner over your own family is just ridiculous. Affair partners are scum.


I'll assume the *Mother of the Year Award* prize patrol van has no plans to EVER stop by your place. What a nasty piece of work she is.


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## Harken Banks (Jun 12, 2012)

There is more than one perspective. My wife is a caring and attentive mom. She was not there when this happened. I don't know where she was. Of course, I was criticized for taking her to the closest emergency care (as for everything else). It was ugly and my daughter needed immediate help. But then my wife texted her boyfriend all night while we were in the hospital room with our daughter. I think there is something to what Matt says about the thrill of the secret life.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

Harken Banks said:


> There is more than one perspective. My wife is a caring and attentive mom. She was not there when this happened. I don't know where she was. Of course, I was criticized for taking her to the closest emergency care (as for everything else). It was ugly and my daughter needed immediate help. But then my wife texted her boyfriend all night while we were in the hospital room with our daughter. I think there is something to what Matt says about the thrill of the secret life.


 Not to sound crass, but why on earth is she still your wife?


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

Rubix Cubed said:


> And this one isn't the worst. Real piece of work/(dung?) there.


If she isn't the worst, she's close to it. Jesus.

And thanks for the like on that thread; it's about as snarky as I can get on LS without drawing (yet another) time out.


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## Harken Banks (Jun 12, 2012)

Rubix Cubed said:


> Not to sound crass, but why on earth is she still your wife?


I was kind of boxed in. 4 young daughters, massive expenses, the regular. Against the strong, pleading advice of many, I stayed with the marriage to keep the family together for the girls. Also, I was probably not ever prepared to look clear-eyed at the reality. It's OK. Could be worse. Nothing is forever.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

Harken Banks said:


> I was kind of boxed in. 4 young daughters, massive expenses, the regular. Against the strong, pleading advice of many, I stayed with the marriage to keep the family together for the girls. Also, I was probably not ever prepared to look clear-eyed at the reality. It's OK. Could be worse. Nothing is forever.


 I feel for you brother. I guess what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Hope Shimmers said:


> I'm doing better now, thank you.
> 
> I did not consider it an affair because he was legally separated at the time, and my husband and I were divorcing. But yes, any chance we would have had at reconciling was destroyed by what was essentially an EA at that time. Obviously I came to realize it was an affair. It's what brought me to LS in the first place.
> 
> ...


If both your spouses cheated on you first then your marriage contract was broken anyway. Though the lying and covering up makes you seem guilty. You should have just dumped your crappy spouses to begin with and you would have been free to start your relationship in a more healthy fashion.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

MODERATOR MESSAGE:

This thread is getting way off-topic and getting a little too personal.

Let's stop that now, OK?


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## Hope Shimmers (Jul 10, 2015)

MattMatt said:


> MODERATOR MESSAGE:
> 
> This thread is getting way off-topic and getting a little too personal.
> 
> Let's stop that now, OK?


Thank you.


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## Hope Shimmers (Jul 10, 2015)

sokillme said:


> Can we start a thread that just deals with HS situation? >



Enough!

I am trying to be nice here, but I am too thin-skinned at the moment to be beaten with a 2x4 about the worst mistakes I made in my life - 10 years ago and with DKT3. I know they were mistakes!


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

This thread is closed due to personal attacks.


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