# Cloak and Doctor Feelbad



## LostWifeCrushed (Feb 7, 2012)

Well, I went to the doctor today because my back problem has been keeping me from being able to do my normal coping strategies (piano, sitting meditation, yoga, walking a mile a day, etc.) Healthy stress relief has been out of my reach because my back pain is so debilitating recently, I have to come home after a few blocks and lay down. 

So I am in the doc's office and it is going fine till they ask me the usual woman questions......"How many sex partners do you have?" I say, "one, my husband." Then they say "How many partners does your partner have?" And I just broke down, started crying, and said, "To be honest, I don't know...." She asked, "what makes you say that??"

So I told her I found my H was going to live sex hookup sites a few weeks ago, that he had been recovering from major surgery...so he can't physically go out and cheat, he is home every night, etc. but these kind of sites you can meet someone, and they can come over and "take care" of you. When I asked him to come clean, he said nothing happened. It was all just online. He never met anyone in real life. That's what he told me. Then a few days later, he destroyed the hard drive, so I will never know. 

All of a sudden things got deathly serious. She sat down. We talked about AIDS, we talked about std's. We talked about anxiety and depression. For a half hour. I cried the whole time. 

She left and another doctor came back in with her. They did not order pain meds or imaging for my back. They said I can't have any narcotics if I am depressed. I got even more upset. (6 years ago they ordered imaging and gave me percocet and I was PREGNANT)-I said why do you think that I am depressed? She said because I had been crying the whole time I was there. So finally i said...

"So I can't get help for my back, so I can cope with all this anxiety with natural stress-relieving activities, because my husband may have cheated on [email protected]$#%#$^@&"

"I know, I know, you can't give someone who has major depression enough pills to kill themselves. I come from a family with medical professionals, but this wouldn't have happened if I wasn't having marital problems. I think this is how any wife would respond, not major depression."

No change in the response.

I left stunned, very quiet with a prescription for muscle relaxers and an anti-anxiety med. A follow up in 2 weeks...WTF??


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## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

Well, you have a right to feel what you are feeling. Depression, sadness, anger, its all natural after finding out your husband is a scumbag. Im sorry. I treated my wife like a fking princess, and was cheated on. The worst thing you can do is give away your dignity. The destruction of his hard drive spells volumes, and was for a reason. 
This isnt the behavior of a man that cares about his wife or marriage. This is the behavior of an immature child. 
Dump him. Get on with your life with someone worthwhile.


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## LostWifeCrushed (Feb 7, 2012)

Shooboomafoo said:


> Well, you have a right to feel what you are feeling. Depression, sadness, anger, its all natural after finding out your husband is a scumbag. Im sorry. I treated my wife like a fking princess, and was cheated on. The worst thing you can do is give away your dignity. The destruction of his hard drive spells volumes, and was for a reason.
> This isnt the behavior of a man that cares about his wife or marriage. This is the behavior of an immature child.
> Dump him. Get on with your life with someone worthwhile.


I did this. I had the papers done and gave them to him. That's when he said he wanted to save our marriage. He is doing all the things for R now. 

I just couldn't understand the way my medical treatment now has to change because of what happened....i didn't expect that, at all. Very stunned today.


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## LostWifeCrushed (Feb 7, 2012)

I guess this whole hard drive thing is affecting me in ways I would have NEVER thought. Not that I thought it would be easy, but the fallout keeps popping up in strange places. Like the course of my medical care. Kinda getting scary.


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

You want your answer lost wife---cuz there are 4 lawyers on every corner---many of them have no business, and they are just looking for ways to conjure up business----Dr's and malpractice, make a nice living for greedy atty's

Your Dr's are doing what they need to do, to protect themselves----where you may be very legit. in your situation---many others are not---and so to many dr's are getting burned---so they are playing very close to the vest


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## LostWifeCrushed (Feb 7, 2012)

jnj express said:


> You want your answer lost wife---cuz there are 4 lawyers on every corner---many of them have no business, and they are just looking for ways to conjure up business----Dr's and malpractice, make a nice living for greedy atty's
> 
> Your Dr's are doing what they need to do, to protect themselves----where you may be very legit. in your situation---many others are not---and so to many dr's are getting burned---so they are playing very close to the vest


After 3 years of pre-law....I would have to agree with you, unfortunately. 

However, when they get the rest of my health records they'll know I'm not kidding around. I have struggled with this back problem for a decade now. The stress of my marital problems probably just pushed it over the edge.


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

Will massage therapy, or accupuncture help your back----if so---let your H. pay for the treatments----in fact bring a male masseuse into your home to give you the massages----that ought to get you some attention.

Make sure your H. knows he is paying for these treatments---especially if the insurance does not cover them---my insurance actually covered accupuncture for my wife every two weeks, for a full year.----Check it out.


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## LostWifeCrushed (Feb 7, 2012)

Yes, my H has beefy insurance that I am on. I rarely go to the doctor. I bet they have all kinds of stuff like that, which is what I want anyway. I don't want to be zombied out on big pharma dope and just want the imaging to pinpoint the problem so I can find a natural way to manage it----I will advocate for this when I go back.

(It has just occurred to me that having a breakdown in the office may have made me look like some kind of addict!) LOLZ Oh well......welcome to the fallout of unfaithfulness.

Thanks for the suggestions jnj, I am much better off going in that direction!


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## LostWifeCrushed (Feb 7, 2012)

No offense to anyone who is helped by anti-depression drugs. I just don't want to be on any type of pharmaceutical long term.


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## river rat (Jan 20, 2012)

Lost, first off, I'd like to say that you are right; your Dr blew it on this one. There is a delicate balance between spotting a narcotic seeker and helping someone in legitimate pain. Sounds like they missed on this one. If you have a history of chronic back probs, get yourself to a specialist in back probs and address this. You need a long term plan, which may, indeed, include antidepressants. The emotional upheaval you're going through will certainly exacerbate your physical pain. Management of chronic pain often takes a multi-pronged approach.


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## LostWifeCrushed (Feb 7, 2012)

river rat said:


> Lost, first off, I'd like to say that you are right; your Dr blew it on this one. There is a delicate balance between spotting a narcotic seeker and helping someone in legitimate pain. Sounds like they missed on this one. If you have a history of chronic back probs, get yourself to a specialist in back probs and address this. You need a long term plan, which may, indeed, include antidepressants. The emotional upheaval you're going through will certainly exacerbate your physical pain. Management of chronic pain often takes a multi-pronged approach.


Thanks, RR. I agree. I have an online list of specialists that I don't even need to have a referral to see, so I plan on following up with this and advocating for myself. I do need an long term plan that addresses something other than medicating away my marital issues!


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## LostWifeCrushed (Feb 7, 2012)

Just wondering how many WS and BS are on meds because of lies and cheating fallout. I really should start a thread about that....


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