# Two Become One



## BootsAndJeans

My wife and I are both Christians, although I have had my times of doubt and questioning over the years. We have had a few rough spots, but have found the means to work through them. 

It took me a long time to realize that I was really broken in many ways and suffered PTSD and exhibited behaviors that were due to my abusive upbringing. Like an alcoholic, I can admit that I have a problem with anger. I will not say had a problem, I still have it. However, between the love from my wife and working on it, I learned how to manage and control it. Some of the other issues I had/have were (1) having a deep abandonment problem (2) generally not having a good sense of self-worth and (3) a "white knight" issue. I have always tried to be the peacemaker and to attempt to help others. 

During all these decades, my wife has always given me love and support, but never has she been one to condone or accept it when I stepped over the line. There have been times when I hurt her feelings deeply and I deeply regret those times and have told her that. 

Now, to the title of this post: We take seriously the precept from the Bible that two become one flesh. I have seen this in our marriage together. While poetic, I think there is a bit of reality in the phrase. I swear that she can read my mind, most of the time. More than that, she can sense my moods to almost a spooky level. Conversely, I can generally pick up her emotional state and even some of her thoughts. Our grown children have remarked to us that they see us as "us", but also as individuals. Even as children, our kids saw us as one unit, they never were able to play one off against the other. Although, as kids, they were closer emotionally to their mom. 

I know there are a lot of people who complain about their spouse. I joke a lot about the wife/husband dynamic, but in reality we are really well balanced. I love that my wife has a mind and voice of her own and will let me know in no uncertain terms when I cross a line. We have never been verbally, emotionally or physically abusive to each other. There was one time, many years ago that we got in an argument and she slapped me. I drew back my arm to hit her out of reflex and stopped. I then offered to leave, as coming from a home with a physically abusive father, that was a line I would not cross. I went for a walk to give distance and cool down and she stayed home to do the same. 

It may come off that I am whipped as a husband, but it is absolutely not true. In our day to day life, I generally take the lead. My wife has moved with me in the military and for my civilian career. She definitely is happy for me to take the lead in the romance department. That being said, I love my wife as a person, woman, my mate and the mother and grandmother she has become. I am not being melodramatic, I would give my life for hers, but more importantly in my mind, I will live my life to honor her and make her happy.

She is part of my flesh, bone of my bone, heart of my heart.


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## Rooster Cogburn

Nothing wrong with anything you wrote. And GOOD for you. It's a beautiful thing when it goes according to God's word. 

Indeed, in God's role of marriage... the two become one. BUT... the sinful nature of all humans is the X factor. Sometimes it works out. Sometimes it doesn't. Even among "Christian spouses".


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## BeyondRepair007

‘Two become one’ is a dying ideal in marriages as the individual becomes more important than the whole.


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