# How do i make this guy stay away from my wife???



## Randy1 (Dec 10, 2011)

This thing has been worrying me for quite some time now.
I am 35 and my wife is 24.We got married last year and shes expecting our first baby.
Recently a really hot guy has moved in in our neighborhood who has his sights on my wife.He knows me though,not really well but as aquaintances.
Hes single ,is young around 26 maybe and lives alone.
When he first shifted here he didnt come over at all but recently he makes all kinds of excuse to speak to my wife.
Though my wife is young shes really sensible and doesnt really appreciate his frequent vists.
I ve seen him staring at her and he always keeps complimenting her on how pretty she is.
I ve noticed that whenever my wife takes a photo of us together (she always holds me really closely)if that guy is present,he always looks away.
Even when she sits with me,she ll always hold me by the arm and then that guy will actually comment shes being clingy.
I dont have a problem so why does he???
He told my wife once that i used to be a player but it didnt affect her.She knows my past and doesnt care about who i ve been with but i dont feel secure leaving my wife alone.
That guy is getting on my nerves.
How do i make him stay away from her???


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## Lydia (Sep 4, 2011)

Teach your wife how to shoot.

Honestly... that guy sounds creepy. It's one thing to think a neighbor girl is attractive and say hi when you run into her, but to make extra visits to the house and the way he is acting (at least reading in your posts) kind of freaks me out, and if I was your wife I'd be keeping the doors locked. You never know what can happen with people who become obsessed/infatuated with someone that they really don't know at all.

If it's really getting bad, then I'd also think about moving if that's at all possible.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Why the hell would you move because of a creepy neighbor?

If I moved every time a neighbor was being an idiot I`d have to buy an RV.

He`s making inappropriate comments towards your wife she should slap him down.'
If she won`t or can`t there isn`t a damn thing you can do because unless he hears it from her he`ll just keep coming no matter what you do or say short of an ass beating.


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

It's time for both you and your wife to put a stop to this guy. You can say it nicely, but sincerely that you don't appreciate the extra attention that he pays your wife and to stay off of your property completely.
Your wife needs to tell him that she has no interest in him whatsoever and that he should leave her alone.


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

I'm with Tacoma. It's got to come from her first. Once she says something if he doesn't back off then it's time for you to get involved and explain it to him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

sigma1299 said:


> I'm with Tacoma. It's got to come from her first. Once she says something if he doesn't back off then it's time for you to get involved and explain it to him.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


tatally disagree.


pull him aside when your wife is watching. and tell him in no uncertine terms that he is an inch away from an a** kicking if he keeps it up. let your wife see you protecting your family.


and follow through if he continues.


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## Wheels65 (Jul 17, 2011)

You are not required to hang around with him or open your door when he knocks. Next time he knocks either ignore him, or open the door blocking entrance and say..."We're kinda busy right now and will see you later"...smile, wink and close the door.

Call it out to him straight up in front of her, "Hey Joe here is the deal......We are not going to be able to make time for you anymore because XYZ and we have a baby on the way. See you around sometimes" And walk away.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

You can't make him stay away from your wife but you can talk to her and tell her she needs good boundaries and tell him he is NOT welcome in your home.


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

Have you discussed your concerns with your wife? Does she recognize the inappropriate actions of this guy? Are you worried he's a threat to your marriage? Or a threat to your wife's safety? If a threat to your marriage, I would talk to your wife and get her take on dude's behavior, first. If for her safety, I would stay away from him as much as possible, I.e. turn him away if he knocks.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

My guess is that once she has the baby he will go away.
She's only looking attractive to him because he can't impregnate her.  Not to say your wife isn't hot, but predators, as you know, are quick to move in on women when there is small risk and also when they might be feeling vulnerable about their looks (some guys think that women only want to be thin and model-like and are incapable of feeling attractive when they're pregnant, which is absolutely wrong). I agree with others that your W needs some training on how to establish boundaries with men or other people who are unwanted or only partially wanted with limits, in her life. Some assertiveness training would be good for her. If a guy told me I was being clingy if I were sitting with my H, I'd tell him point blank he was being jealous if not inappropriate. This guy is probably justifying his behavior by your past, thinking he is doing her a favor, or trying to convince himself of that. She really has to establish her own boundaries and you can tell her that it is important to you that she does so. If you try to do it, it will be a losing battle, it will only encourage the guy to think that you are controlling and posessive and jealous and that your marriage might be insecure. 

I'd make it clear too that he wasn't to visit your W in the hospital if that's where she's going to give birth, she can take care of this by filling out some simple forms that hospitals are required to offer all patients, and asking the nurses in the maternity area to be aware that he is on a no-visit, no-call list. 

He sounds kind of creepy. The alternative is that he has a mommy complex, and feels like he is in need of a mommy figure in his life.  When I was young and pregnant there was an embassy marine that had me as a fixture, well somewhere between a mommy fixture in a strange country under martial law, and a crush. But I was aware of it and managed it better. There are some things that are cute, and some things that are creepy. Your wife has to follow her own instinct and not use you as a barricade or go-to-guy for her protection.


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

Wheels65 said:


> You are not required to hang around with him or open your door when he knocks. Next time he knocks either ignore him, or open the door blocking entrance and say..."We're kinda busy right now and will see you later"...smile, wink and close the door.
> 
> Call it out to him straight up in front of her, "Hey Joe here is the deal......We are not going to be able to make time for you anymore because XYZ and we have a baby on the way. See you around sometimes" And walk away.


:iagree::iagree::iagree:
I do not understand why you let him in your house. There is no law that you have to be friends with someone that you do not like. I would also ask your wife to do the same when you are not home.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Why is he around your and her so much? If he is coming into your home, stop letting him in.

Also tell you wife, you want him gone from your lives. Tell her he's clearly trying to charm her and put the move on her, and that there is no way you're going to accept any one into your house that would so openly disrespect your marriage.


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Chillymorn has it right. Tell this guy what you think in no uncertain terms. Why even put up with his crap? What are you afraid of?

If it was me, I'd be telling him if he doesn't stay away I'd be kicking his A$$.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

even if he is bigger stronger than you.


hey, I was quite the scrapper in my youth and the one thing I learned is most fights are won with the first punch to the face and then your on him like white on rice.

even if he wins he will have respect for you and you will have respect for yourself. and then he will pick on some other mans pregnate wife.

hell after typing that I feel like kicking his a** and I don't even know him.

yea you might get sued but your marriage will be stronger and that will be worth every penny. 

if your wife objects after kicking his a** just tell her she should have told him in no uncertine term that he was a royal a**hOle and to stay away.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

alphaomega said:


> If it was me, I'd be telling him if he doesn't stay away I'd be kicking his A$$.


Your avatar is very fitting for your post


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Lol. If he was bigger than me, I'd make sure to let him know that this ends only when one of us doesn't get up. And if he was willing to feel that level of pain, because I'm not stopping until this ends.

Well, it's been a while since my own scrapper days, but if I was young like the OP it would be game on in an instant. Lol.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

chillymorn said:


> tatally disagree.
> 
> 
> pull him aside when your wife is watching. and tell him in no uncertine terms that he is an inch away from an a** kicking if he keeps it up. let your wife see you protecting your family.
> ...


You have any idea how many fist fights I`d be in if I had to threaten every guy that hit on my wife?

I don`t call my wife when some chick is coming on to me I deal with it and generally never even tell her.

It`s the wife's place and if she doesn`t do it I can only think of one reason why she won`t.


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## speakingforsomemen (Dec 12, 2011)

barbed wire fence?


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## gonefishin (Oct 7, 2011)

I would talk to your wife about it. Let her know that it bothers you. It sounds like it bothers her as well.

Personally, I would have this guy checked out. Sounds like a creep checking out a married pregant women. If he has no criminal record. Then I would ask him to go out for a beer and then lay down the law. You can lay down the law and be diplomatic.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

tacoma said:


> You have any idea how many fist fights I`d be in if I had to threaten every guy that hit on my wife?
> 
> I don`t call my wife when some chick is coming on to me I deal with it and generally never even tell her.
> 
> It`s the wife's place and f she doesn`t do it I can only think of one reason why she won`t.


come on now how manny chicks are comming on to you

yea the reason is she wants her big strong husband to put this joker in his place. or maybe she thought by ignoring him she was.

not every women is the same.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Get her a rottweiler, and train it to go for this guys n**sack on command.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

It's in your wife's court she could easily make it clear to him why doesn't she is the question?

I have two neighbors that hit on my wife.....I could care less because she doesn't entertain any of it. Just a "Ha ha......" and she disappears and avoids them.

If your wife really can't stand the attention why doesn't she avoid the guy or point blank tell him?


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

tacoma said:


> You have any idea how many fist fights I`d be in if I had to threaten every guy that hit on my wife?
> 
> I don`t call my wife when some chick is coming on to me I deal with it and generally never even tell her.
> 
> It`s the wife's place and f she doesn`t do it I can only think of one reason why she won`t.


we are not talking about him hitting on her only once but repeatedly . time to man up , and my opinion is the man should man up not his wife.

maybe he should stand behind her skirt and see how its done.

next she will be saying I just don't desire sex with you I don't know why,


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## Unhappy2011 (Dec 28, 2011)

Randy1 said:


> This thing has been worrying me for quite some time now.
> I am 35 and my wife is 24.We got married last year and shes expecting our first baby.
> Recently a really hot guy has moved in in our neighborhood who has his sights on my wife.He knows me though,not really well but as aquaintances.
> Hes single ,is young around 26 maybe and lives alone.
> ...


Nothing will set me off more than some other male disrespecting me like that.

It would probably confrontational real quick.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

chillymorn said:


> come on now how manny chicks are comming on to you


I`m young, in shape, charming, attractive, and in a very alpha position of authority in my careeer.
I get more female attention than most.

The wife is aware but there are never any details for her to hear about because I don`t encourage it or react to it and when a woman gets out of line I tell her so as kindly nicely and charmingly as I can.
As does my wife when it happens to her.

That`s why we dont have the OP`s problem to begin with



> yea the reason is she wants her big strong husband to put this joker in his place. or maybe she thought by ignoring him she was.


If that`s true she`s a manipulative idiot inviting serious trouble.



chillymorn said:


> we are not talking about him hitting on her only once but repeatedly . time to man up , and my opinion is the man should man up not his wife.


We wouldn`t be talking about it at all if the OP`s wife would have done what she should have done and shut it down the first time.



> maybe he should stand behind her skirt and see how its done.
> 
> next she will be saying I just don't desire sex with you I don't know why,


This goes back to my manipulative idiot comment.

I`ve known women who do this **** just to watch men fight over them.
It`s asinine and any woman worth a damn shoots idiots like the OP`s neighbor down without a second thought all the time.

This could lead to an actual physical encounter where people could end up in jail and or hospitalized.

I`m not slow to violence myself but I'm not engaging in any action that could put me in prison because my woman was an idiot.

The fact that my wife knows I`m in serious trouble should I physically assault someone without due cause is probably one reason I never have to deal with this ****.

Because she cares about me.


I noticed in candiegirls thread where her husbands ex won`t leave him alone not a single person male or female advocated her threatening to kick the Ex`s ass.

Gender bias maybe?


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

tacoma said:


> If I moved every time a neighbor was being an idiot I`d have to buy an RV.


:rofl:


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Usually, shooting down unwanted male attention works for me...shoot them down right away, they get the message and skulk off, tail tucked between legs. If the dude is really that creepy, step in by all means, but really, the message has got to come from your wife.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

Gasoline

Match

BBQ

But seriously CandieGirl is right, your wife has to deliver that message.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Twofaces said:


> Kick him out of your life. No contact. Follow upnwith a certified letter demandingnhe stay away. If he doesnt. Get a restraining order
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:iagree:

He's in your life because you allow him to be in there. Tell your wife to tell him directly to stop stalking her and you, better with the certified letter. If he violates that, get the restraining order/protection order, because quite frankly, his behavior is disturbing. He either gets the message and backs off, or its jail time. He can then be someone else's girlfriend in the big house.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

I guess I disagree.

men have turned into a bunch a P***** in america.

I'm not advocating starting a fight for no reason.this man is harrassing his wife.

yes his wife should also tell him to creep away. but I wouldn't send registered letters or advoiding things in my life because a BULLIE is harrassing my wife.

the only thing a bullie listens to is thr truth. stay away or get an a** kicking.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

chillymorn said:


> I guess I disagree.
> 
> men have turned into a bunch a P***** in america.
> 
> ...


And in this day and age, OM would love to have this happen and call the cops on him. Then the cops will reluctantly have to arrest Randy1 for assault. This isn't the 70s anymore where an OM would take his ass kicking like a man because he deserved it and no one would bat an eye.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

lordmayhem said:


> And in this day and age, OM would love to have this happen and call the cops on him. Then the cops will reluctantly have to arrest Randy1 for assault. This isn't the 70s anymore where an OM would take his ass kicking like a man because he deserved it and no one would bat an eye.


Bull all he has to do is tell him that would be enough for him to back off.


his word agint the a** holes word.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Here's where we are. I don't like you. I don't like you hanging around. You are a threat to my family. I will kill and eat anyone who threatens my family. Clear off. Are we clear? Are we crystal f^cking clear?


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> Here's where we are. I don't like you. I don't like you hanging around. You are a threat to my family. I will kill and eat anyone who threatens my family. Clear off. Are we clear? Are we crystal f^cking clear?


Don`t misunderstand me I`m perfectly fine with going this route IF the guy continues harassing my wife AFTER she`s told him to piss off.

Point is the wife in this instance hasn`t made her point clear.

It makes me wonder what her real point is.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

It's not her problem to solve. It's yours. Sure, I'm an old school patriarch but that's my deal. Stay away from my wife, my kids, my life. That's my job to ensure that.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

OMG! What a creepy guy! Someone needs to tell him to back off.

I was 8 months pregnant with my middle child. It was 5am in the morning, I just gotten out of shower, dried off and putting deodorant on. I didn't realize the nursery bedroom door was open with the blinds up. I look over and my neighbor had his hands cupped to his window staring at me while I was naked. Talk about feeling violated, I was very angry for him staring at me naked. I never did tell his wife. This was when we were living in the city and the houses were a few feet from each other. We moved a few months later and have fewer neighbors.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

He has every right and responsibility to run this creep off. So I am saying I fall into the both camp on this. Meaning, he should talk to his wife about this, let her know his expectations for her behavior as it concerns this guy AND at the next opportunity tell the guy calmly but firmly to get lost and that he does not want him around his family ever again.

She should not answer the door to this guy. If she has not already the next time he initiates with her she should tell him to go away, never bother her again and that she is telling her husband about his actions. To be clear that she is not threatening him with next time she will tell her husband but that she will be telling her husband right now. Like calling him on the cell and letting him know that this guy is actively bothering her. They can also complain to the managemnet of the rental properties to get this on record. 

If the guy persists and comes knocking on the door she should call the police. When they arrive she should say that this guy is bothering her and that she has told him to go away. The police will escort him away. If he continues to be creepy then this escalates to the next level. This guys will not take subtle hints. It takes both the wife and husband to support each other. The predators job is to cause a rift between them.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> It's not her problem to solve. It's yours. Sure, I'm an old school patriarch but that's my deal. Stay away from my wife, my kids, my life. That's my job to ensure that.


Is she a child?

He's making advances towards her.
That is exactly her problem to solve and if she had handled it the way 99% of the women of the world handle unwanted advances it probably wouldn't be a problem at all.

It's her lack of dealing with it that made it a problem.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Then what you're suggesting is that she's playing a game and trying to get her husband to sit up and play along. I don't do mind games and subterfuge. My personal view - and it's a purely a personal view is that if you dump something in my lap I will deal with it strictly in the way I want to with zero input from anyone else. That's just me.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> Then what you're suggesting is that she's playing a game and trying to get her husband to sit up and play along.


I don`t really know if she`s playing a game but I do know this isn`t the first guy to hit on her yet it seems to be the first time they`ve had this problem.


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

OP hasn't even been back.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

tacoma said:


> Is she a child?
> 
> He's making advances towards her.
> That is exactly her problem to solve and if she had handled it the way 99% of the women of the world handle unwanted advances it probably wouldn't be a problem at all.
> ...


FREAKING WORD! She doesn't need the big bad wolf to handle this for her, SHE needs to tell the dude to back off. The fact that she hasn't says something to me.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

The guy's a drive by poster. Started two posts and never responded to any of the advice. Plus how many guys do you know refer to a dude as "a really hot guy"? I don't know any. Next. :sleeping:


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## Mephisto (Feb 20, 2011)

Gently suggest that you have a large hammer with his kneecaps name written all over it. And that the voices in your head really don't like him.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> The guy's a drive by poster. Started two posts and never responded to any of the advice. Plus how many guys do you know refer to a dude as *"a really hot guy"*? I don't know any. Next. :sleeping:


Point well taken.


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