# Did I scare her off?



## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

There's a girl who has shown interest in me and we've been developing a good relationship over the last several months. She even told me that she really likes me the other day. Pretty blunt, eh?
Anyways, She was trying to score concert tix, but in the end wasn't able to. We were texting back and forth. She texts me that "she needs to work on her hustle".
I respond that "I think she has a pretty nice hustle going on". 
No response.
I then realize that maybe she was referring to Jay-Z hustling and I text back that I wasn't trying to be degrading.
Still no response. This was back on Sat.
Sometimes, texting sucks because it can be taken out of context.
Did I take it too far or am I overanalyzing?
We had briefly discussed last Sat. the possibility of going out today.
Should I wait for her to contact me, or should I contact her(and not bring up the hustle thing)?


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

IF she was offended, that would be the mildest offense I've ever seen sink a relationship. Let's hope it's not the case - people with no sense of humor suck.


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## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

I would think so too Cletus. And she definitely has a sense of humor (at times very dry too).
Hope it's just my stupid overanalyzing and that she's just been busy like me.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

I thought you answer was cute. I wouldn't have been offended. Maybe she didn't know what to say back.


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

Work on YOUR hustle and don't worry about it. If she took offense to that then consider yourself as dodging a bullet.

I don't know ANY long term happy relationship where partners didn't offend each other in a comedic way at some point.


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## Depressedjoe (Dec 22, 2013)

I'm not good at keeping women for long times..but if she likes you then she will text you back..not to put down but if she is lacking in interest she is probably not that interested in you bro...trust me I've dated a nba cheerleader and various hot women (I learned all their tendencies) ..I'm no expert but from my experience with women that's my estimation (now if you are dealing with the drama with kids and meeting emotional needs..I'm not your guy)


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

As a woman, my first thought was that she might have taken it to mean that YOU thought she hustles guys (free dinners, drinks, gifts, etc.). Hard to say how SHE took it.

I'd just CALL her (forget the text) today and bluntly ask, "Did I say/write something that offended you? Because I didn't mean to." See what she says.

She either womans-up and tells you what's wrong, or tells you nothing's wrong and she's been busy. If she can't/won't do either of the above, DUMP HER!


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I think you are over-thinking it. You gave an explanation and also tried to make amends and she hasn't responded.

I say leave the ball in her court. If she gets back to you, great. if she misunderstood and doesn't see your way or doesn't accept your explanation then that is on her. No loss there because it means she isn't amenable to hearing you out.

And yes, TEXTING SUCKS.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Dad&Hubby said:


> Work on YOUR hustle and don't worry about it. If she took offense to that then consider yourself as dodging a bullet.
> 
> I don't know ANY long term happy relationship where partners didn't offend each other in a comedic way at some point.


:iagree:


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## Darksound (Dec 14, 2013)

I remember your thread last week about this situation. I agree with SGW above, just call her. I still think this chick is playing games, cat and mouse to say the least. I think you need to cut to the chase with this girl. Let her know how you feel in a respectable way and see where it goes. I think this chick is joyriding the game with you. 

Good luck and hope it turns out good for you!


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

I wouldn't have responded, either. What needs to be said? 

Get rid of the text and use that phone for what's it was originally made: to hear her voice.


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## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

Update: I haven't been on since my last text. A lot has changed since..
So I ended up sending her a funny news feed about the Winter in DC and the chaos over less than an inch of snow that ensued.
She replied back thinking it was funny.
I then asked if she wanted to go out Monday and she said yes.
We went out for dinner and then ice skating (which we didn't do because the lines were super long).
We went out for drinks instead.
A few things I noticed about her that night:
1-I told her she looked nice and she said the same about me.
2- She laughed a lot. Even at my "lame" jokes.
3- She would give me this stare. More than once.
4- She played with her hair.
She shares with me that she's leaving the next morning (X-mas eve) to see her dad and brother back home and won't be back till Friday. 
So I don't keep her out too late. I pull up to her place and we talk for a bit. Then she finally says good nite and starts to open the car door. I put my arm around her back and slightly pull her towards me, and hesitate while my arm is till holding her. She leans in and we kiss. 
I'd have to say she was a bit aggressive with the kiss, tongue and all. And I managed to slow her kissing down and was the first to end/pull away. 
We haven't communicated much since. Just me texting her once yesterday (the day after our date) that I had a good time and have a safe flight. She responds back saying she had fun and thanks.
It's Christmas today. (Merry Christmas everyone!!!)
I am about to text her Merry Christmas but wondered if I should do anything different or add anything? Call her? Or just keep it short and sweet?
Anyways, the kiss was great but I still want to take things slow with her since it's only been a month since her last breakup.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

Houstondad said:


> Update: I haven't been on since my last text. A lot has changed since..
> So I ended up sending her a funny news feed about the Winter in DC and the chaos over less than an inch of snow that ensued.
> She replied back thinking it was funny.
> I then asked if she wanted to go out Monday and she said yes.
> ...


Well done. I realize this happened a couple days ago so my advice may be too late. But you're doing all of the initial contact. How about you let her contact you. If she's hoping you have a good Christmas or holidays she'll let you know. No need to always be the one to contact her. To me, that's just not a good sign if it continues.


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## Gomerpyle (Dec 27, 2013)

I've never tolerated anguish over "what things mean" with a woman. I may have lost a couple along the way over that but I figure if they aren't pulling out all the stops to nab me then they're just not that into me.


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## nuclearnightmare (May 15, 2013)

To answer question of thread - no. Pretty clear that you did not scare her off.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

My advice is don't over-analyze what you're doing, unless you have a history of being clingy. Just do what feels right. And if that (who you are) pushes her away, well, better to know now, instead of trying to be someone you're not, just to impress her.


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

Houstondad said:


> It's Christmas today. (Merry Christmas everyone!!!)
> I am about to text her Merry Christmas but wondered if I should do anything different or add anything? Call her? Or just keep it short and sweet?
> Anyways, the kiss was great but I still want to take things slow with her since it's only been a month since her last breakup.


I think two people made great replies to this... You're anguishing over her behavior, and you're making all the contact. 

Why not find out from her if there's a reason she doesn't initiate contact? Maybe she believes it should be all you. If so, you can tell her that you'd love to hear from hear anytime, that it would bring a smile to your face. Invite her to open up, and you open up, too. Then you won't be guessing all the time and looking needy.


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