# Divorce in third world places



## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

reaching the no point of return status ;after 17 years of sexless marriage with a selfish person , Divorce is unevitable .

I have started to feel lucky being in a third world !
I checked with my lawyer about what will happen when I get a divorce ; how fast a divorce can happen ....

shocking to me , it is much easier than expected .

Under Lebanese law , Divorce follow first the religion ; it is unfair for women especially if the male escapes his duties.

in my case when I execute it , it will take less than a month to take effect.

What I am giving her is way beyond law and religion ; we have a city house worth 700K , and a villa in mountain worth 300-350K .
by Law she will get only 2 things :
-an amount which was agreed on at time of marriage ;(200 golden coins in my case) and a fixed amount per mounth of few hundred dollars per month to cover family lodging and expenses.

I am working on a formula which i feel honestly fair about it .

I was the bread winner for 17 years; she earned all the time around 25% as much as my salary .

she was using half of it at home ; and the remaining was on things she desired ; most of which things she like to have at home ,from ugly furnitures to dozens of boots and fits for her ...

*I have legally granted her the full lifetime rental right for the city house ; which means she owns it as long as she is alive .
*
after we expire , it goes to kids .

So for me the decision there is no really materialistic loss ; 

*I will take care of kids expenses easily ; *their education are on me as long as I have legally their custody ; where I will release it to her unofficially to ease the process; if she opts to leave the kids with me I will be more than happy ...

I will grant her her rights in 200 golden coins ...

*people around suggested that I get a second marriage ( legally no issues); *

Which I can easily afford too.

I feel it is not fair because she doesn't have that right ; though she doesn't care .

opinions please , Am I being fair in my proposal ?


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

What does she think?


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

she asked first to get full ownership (instead of full right to use) on the city house ; she said she wants freedom in making choices if she wants to sell it ; I refused ;and told her you have 200 coins to have freedom to use;I offered that if she wants to sell the house to upgrade /relocate I will accept to reassess at any time and ready to commit legally.

Briefly she doesn't really care about how it will go ...why should she be worried ?

Jld , since u are here , your opinion is valuable ...


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

What is the value of the 200 gold coins? Depending on the coins it can be a lot or very little. So it's impossible to know what to think.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Zouz said:


> opinions please , Am I being fair in my proposal ?


It is impossible for us to know if you are being fair or not.

We do not know how much wealth you have accumulated in your marriage to her.

We do not know your full wealth.

We don't know what she came into the marriage with and what she has in her name only now.

We do not know the value of those 200 gold coins.

From the sounds of it you are offering more than the guidelines of Shari'ah which basically give her nothing but the 200 gold coins since that was in your marriage contract.

But what is fair can be completely different.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I think that you should give her the house.

Why?

Because when you are divorced she has no claim or power over you. You do not even have to let her ever see her own children. 

However, even after divorce you will have tremendous power over her. She will have to do as you say in order to see her own children. I know you say that you will let her have them (for what % of the time?) but you have 100% custody so in reality you can deny her access to her children. 

You will also own the home she lives in. She cannot even decide where she wants to live without your consent. 

So you maintain a huge amount of control over her.


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> It is impossible for us to know if you are being fair or not.
> 
> We do not know how much wealth you have accumulated in your marriage to her.
> 
> ...


*agree, that's why I want more opinions *


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> I think that you should give her the house.*
> 
> I gave her already the house 2 years back to make her feel more secure in marriage ( lifetime rental right on deeds, i.e legally she is renting the house for life time , if she dies it will go the second beneficiarry , in this case the kids).
> when we Divorce , I will move , she will keep the house and kids as long as she is good to them ; if she treats them bad i can take the kids legally ; but she will have the house legally .
> ...


:scratchhead::scratchhead:


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

> I gave her already the house 2 years back to make her feel more secure in marriage ( lifetime rental right on deeds, i.e legally she is renting the house for life time , if she dies it will go the second beneficiarry , in this case the kids).
> when we Divorce , I will move , she will keep the house and kids as long as she is good to them ; if she treats them bad i can take the kids legally ; but she will have the house legally .
> 
> 
> ...


First, you still have 100% of custody of the children. That is power right there. If at any point you decide you want to take those kids back, she has zero say. I know you say you wouldn't do that...but really people say things all of the time and go back on their word. She has to live with that for the rest of her life. 

You pay all of the expenses...again that's power. You can yank that any time you want. She has to live knowing that for the rest of her life. Plus, when/if you get married again, I am thinking your new wife isn't going to want you paying for your old wife. 

Legally, she doesn't OWN the home. You do. Legally, she can RENT the home should she choose to, but you still OWN it and could tell her she can't rent it out. That's power. You said you would stay there as a guest? Why? If you're divorcing her, why barge in on her life again and stay at the house? Oh, because you OWN it...and can if you wanted. That's power. She can't tell you not to barge in on her life...because you own the house.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

Zouz said:


> :scratchhead::scratchhead:


I would love it if they would institute these policies for divorces in the US. I would get a divorce immediately.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Zouz: I'm of the opinion that what you have offered her is a more than equitable settlement, contingent on the fact that you have contributed as much to her welfare that you did, over the course of your marriage. 

Simply put, I'd proceed!*


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## Boxing judge (Aug 29, 2014)

I wish our laws in America were like that.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

Lila said:


> I have found that the best way to judge fairness of an action is to envision the action happening to a loved one.
> 
> If your daughter were the one going through divorce in Lebanon, would you feel the settlement you describe to be fair?
> 
> You have every legal right to do pretty much anything you want to, however I would advise you to do what is right and fair as a good example for your children, especially your daughter. My 2 cents.


:iagree::iagree::iagree:

I would try to imagine yourself in her shoes or someone you love in her shoes before moving forward with any decision to see if it is truly fair. The Golden Rule of "treat others the way you want to be treated".


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

Starz legally i dont have the right to stay in the house or tell her to move out evenfrom now ,she has the full legal using it.hence my power on this issue is zero as long as she is alive , then ownership goes to kids even now .legally my teens will have to choose if we execute the divirce officially where to go ,the youngest 6 years will stay under her custody until 12 and can choose that time . Legally again she can go gor the max ,she will get in this case maximum the custodyof youngest and can offer teens to stay . If we gi through a full fledge divorce we loose educational allowance fir kids because her work will not cover them while mine coverse even 90% of college at highly private higher ed.if i get married she can do the same i dont care ,and she has the right on the house i have nothing .as long as kids are well rreated i dont need to fight back .i will pay for evrything except her personnel care she has a job and will not pay a penny except for herself .so how is this considered unfair to her? If i apply just just religion and law she gets 200 coins only


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Zouz said:


> so how is this considered unfair to her? If i apply just just religion and law she gets 200 coins only


Most of us here would consider the standard set by religion and law in your country to be extremely unfair, so our standard would be much different. In the US, all marital property is split 50/50, except in a few stays where adultery can make a difference in the asset split.


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

Anonymous07 said:


> :iagree::iagree::iagree:
> 
> I would try to imagine yourself in her shoes or someone you love in her shoes before moving forward with any decision to see if it is truly fair. The Golden Rule of "treat others the way you want to be treated".


if my D was cruel to her husband by denying him sex all those years and being abusive to kids by being so selfish in her acts ; then I consider that she is lucky to get a house granted for free instead of splitting 50/50 ; where he also is paying everything and she has freedom to totally use her income ; while the husband is torn financially and spiritually as she is just selfish and passive aggressive .


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

CynthiaDe said:


> Most of us here would consider the standard set by religion and law in your country to be extremely unfair, so our standard would be much different. In the US, all marital property is split 50/50, except in a few stays where adultery can make a difference in the asset split.


very true ,it the person standards that makes her even more lucky if she was in US or in a civil marriage contract, but what I gave even before divorce is much better than she can get in US.
though No adultery is in our marriage ; I am hurt even more .

I don't look into it as unfair to any ; it is a win win situation .
The only concern is that usually such a women in our country will be deprived from having another chance , in my wife case she is still lucky.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

Zouz said:


> Starz legally i dont have the right to stay in the house or tell her to move out evenfrom now ,she has the full legal using it.hence my power on this issue is zero as long as she is alive , then ownership goes to kids even now .legally my teens will have to choose if we execute the divirce officially where to go ,the youngest 6 years will stay under her custody until 12 and can choose that time . Legally again she can go gor the max ,she will get in this case maximum the custodyof youngest and can offer teens to stay . If we gi through a full fledge divorce we loose educational allowance fir kids because her work will not cover them while mine coverse even 90% of college at highly private higher ed.if i get married she can do the same i dont care ,and she has the right on the house i have nothing .as long as kids are well rreated i dont need to fight back .i will pay for evrything except her personnel care she has a job and will not pay a penny except for herself *.so how is this considered unfair to her? *If i apply just just religion and law she gets 200 coins only


I didn't say it was unfair. You asked how you had power. I told you how you had power. Didn't say anything about fairness...at all.


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

Lila said:


> Zouz:
> 
> I keep seeing you make posts based on whether or not _you_ get married in the future.
> 
> How would things change if your wife starts dating another man?


definitely even after Divorce ; i have still a long way ; KIds are still the priority ..the issue is only when they become ready ; but I assure you will see that post one day , where I found someone normal ; no high expectations ; just a charming venus ; with normal soul ; a giver whom I will adore .

If my wife starts dating another man ; legally she still have the house ;teens can choose what they want , anyway they are flying to college shortly ; I will convince the teens to stay with me , or 
to move to university lodging ; I am taking car of their expense definitely ; the women I marry have to be accepted by them , because they are wonderful persons ; to secure their future from any influence ; if the boy is happy with his mom , no problem for me ; if he is not , I will fight her to get him .

after five years I will get partial settlement of my pension ; 50 % is dedicated equally to kids ; being minor two trusted adults from my family are allowed jointly to disburse amounts to them if I am not available .

modified my My PA terms to have kids as beneficiary ; which will cover their expenses until they finish college;my institution too will cover their education as part of pension/PA plan if I die .

road is secure for everybody about it … ;the only reason I am delaying it is to have kids more ready 


patience will bring results at the end .

Venus wait for me , I am coming …


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

staarz21 said:


> I didn't say it was unfair. You asked how you had power. I told you how you had power. Didn't say anything about fairness...at all.


yes I have the power, but not abusing it …


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

Zouz said:


> yes I have the power, but not abusing it …


Well, that's good. She just has to trust that you won't. Forever. 

I know that cultures are different. I think your wife getting a home and money is more than fair (and probably way more so in your culture). I get that people are focused on what they get out of a divorce....me, me, me, I get, I get, I get. They forget that it's the children who need the things more. They need fairness between the mother and the father in order for them to live a decent life. 

So long as you guys make sure you're doing that...more power to you.


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

Personally I would want to marry a man who had treated his ex fairly and equitably. I do not feel you are being fair. Just because someone is legally allowed to do something does not make it right or just. 

I feel sorry for your ex wife. She probably feels trapped and is in a no win situation.

How did your marriage begin? Was it an arranged marriage?


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

CynthiaDe said:


> Most of us here would consider the standard set by religion and law in your country to be extremely unfair, so our standard would be much different. In the US, all marital property is split 50/50, except in a few stays where adultery can make a difference in the asset split.


even this assumption is not 100% true ; when a marriage takes place the women can put her own conditions ,unfair to whom ?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Zouz said:


> even this assumption is not 100% true ; when a marriage takes place the women can put her own conditions ,unfair to whom ?


I think what you mean to say is that with an Islamic marriage, a couple can write a contract that has a lot of what they want. Some things are however still governed by the religious laws.

When my niece married a guy from Tunisia we worked on her marriage contract. We had a good attorney who knew the Islamic laws because it can get very tricky. 

While the live in the USA, she and we wanted to make sure that if she ever ended in a country like his home country she was not put at risk.

However, its' usually the women from wealthy and influential families who get the family support to do this type of marriage contract. Most Muslim women just go by the standard contract that reflects exactly what the Qur'an and local interpretations use... which is very unfair to women.


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

*LittleDeer* said:


> Personally I wouldn't want to marry a man who had treated his ex fairly and equitably. I do not feel you are being fair. Just because someone is legally allowed to do something does not make it right or just.
> 
> I feel sorry for your ex wife. She probably feels trapped and is in a no win situation.
> 
> How did your marriage begin? Was it an arranged marriage?


your first paragraph is full of contradictions , sorry ; what do you men you wouldn't marry someone if he was fair to his X !!!

second ; do you want to hug the destroyer of a beautiful family !; how do you see it as no win situation ?


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> I think what you mean to say is that with an Islamic marriage, a couple can write a contract that has a lot of what they want. Some things are however still governed by the religious laws.
> 
> When my niece married a guy from Tunisia we worked on her marriage contract. We had a good attorney who knew the Islamic laws because it can get very tricky.
> 
> ...


was not really my case ,

not my case,our marriage was a love story ; not pre-arranged really .

I am arguing if Islam is fair or not ; and I am not a religious guy ; but I tell you that from financial aspect there are so many efficient way to secure a women life from beginning in addition to marriage contract and rules ...


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Zouz said:


> was not really my case ,
> 
> not my case,our marriage was a love story ; not pre-arranged really .


My niece's marriage was and still is a love story 15 years and 2 sons later. Their marriage was not pre-arranged. 

But she was not stupid enough to marry without a good solid marriage contract that made their marriage equitable. Things like he cannot take a second wife. If he does, she gets all his assets and a divorce. All assets are held 50/50, etc. IF they get a divorce for reasons other than him marrying someone else while still married to her, everything is split 50/50, she gets alimony and child support because although she has Master's Degree they agreed that she would be a SAHM. 

Their contract also specifies that there is no following Islamic law that if he dies before her, she only gets 1/8th of their assets and the rest goes to his parents, the children and his siblings, etc.

You are the one who brought up that anything can be put in the marriage contract. I was just expanding on that .



Zouz said:


> I am arguing if Islam is fair or not ; and I am not a religious guy ; but I tell you that from financial aspect there are so many efficient way to secure a women life from beginning in addition to marriage contract and rules ...


What are these ways of securing a woman's life without a marriage contract?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Also.. can you answer this?



Zouz said:


> very true ,it the person standards that makes her even more lucky if she was in US or in a civil marriage contract, but what I gave even before divorce is much better than she can get in US.


What did you give her before divorce that is much better than she could get in the US?



Zouz said:


> The only concern is that usually such a women in our country will be deprived from having another chance , in my wife case she is still lucky.


What do you mean by ‘deprived of another chance? Another chance at what?


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> *My answers below are specific to my case , I am not arguing about religion .*
> 
> What did you give her before divorce that is much better than she could get in the US?
> 
> ...


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

Zouz said:


> your first paragraph is full of contradictions , sorry ; what do you men you wouldn't marry someone if he was fair to his X !!!
> 
> second ; do you want to hug the destroyer of a beautiful family !; how do you see it as no win situation ?


I'm sorry wouldn't was a typo, I have fixed it. 

Also was your marriage arranged? And what would your wife say were the issues if she was here?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Zouz said:


> My answers below are specific to my case , I am not arguing about religion .


I get that. However, while I too am not arguing religion, laws do have to be discussed in order to address some of this. Islam is not only a religion, it’s a legal system and social system as well. In Lebanon, for marriage and divorce, the laws of your religion are the ones what apply. So Islamic law family law is pertinent to the discussion.




EleGirl said:


> What did you give her before divorce that is much better than she could get in the US?





Zouz said:


> I gave her security , before divorce and after divorce :


Before the divorce a married woman also has security dependent on two things: 1) her husband’s earning power and his character and her own earning power and her character. It sounds like the same thing that has occurred in your marriage.



Zouz said:


> -In the US she would have lived under the threat that she will have to either buy the other share or leave the house and buy another smaller and less decent one , right ?


Let me see if I have the settlement you re suggesting:
•	Her use of the city house worth 700K (you will pay the remaining mortgage of about 100k)
•	use of a villa in the country (worth 300K-350K)
•	200 gold coins
•	a few hundred a month for expenses for life or until she re-marries I assume.
•	you get 100% custody of the children and will let her care for them as long as she does what you want.

Now keep in mind that I have no idea what other assets you have, how much your retirement fund is, how much cash you have, how much more you have in investments, etc. Whatever else you have you are not splitting with her. With you owning about 1 million in real-estate property, it’s easy to think that you have a lot more in assets and a high income.

Here where I live in the USA there are options. There is nothing keeping a man who lives here in NM from making his wife the exact same offer. No one has follow the state guidelines if BOTH PARTIES agree.

However here, your wife has legal rights. If she felt that your offer was not fair, then the state laws protect her and give her the option of choosing to split all assets 50/50. Child support would be available. Alimony/spousal-support would be available dependent on the length of the marriage and the disparity in incomes. Your wife would quality for long term alimony in many states.


Here a women whose husband is unreasonable has legal protections. She does not have to accept what he offers if it’s profoundly unfair.

Where I live custody is usually 50/50. So you would not have the control of not allowing her access to her children if you got angry at her.


I’m am not suggesting that you are being unreasonable or unfair. I have no idea because I have no idea what your entire financial situation is.

Now, would I take your offer were I your wife and I actually had options and legal rights that your wife does not have? I would first evaluate what you are offering and what the settlement would be based on state law. It would not necessarily take the one that gave me more financially, having autonomy and not being under my ex-husband’s control would be HUGE in my decision.

With only having usage rights to property, I’d doubt I would take your offer. Why? Because if I’m getting a divorce, there is no way I want my ex-husband to have that much control over my life. I would rather have a smaller house and not have him have complete control over me financially. 

What happens if my ex gets sick and he cannot make the house payments anymore? What if he gets angry at me for some silly reason and just stops making payments, or a zillion other things that could go wrong?




Zouz said:


> TELL ME WERE IN US SHE WILL BE ABLE TO FEEL SECURE TO THE EXTENT THAT A SHE HAS LIFETIME ACCOMODATION AND LIFETIME EXPENSES PAID FOR THE KIDS ?



Like I said, a husband can make the exact same offer anywhere here in the USA. And she can accept it. So you see, she can feel just as secure anywhere in the USA.

Plus, if she does not find the offer reasonable (let’s assume that you have another 10 Million saved off somewhere) she has the legal right to 50% of the joint assets, children support, and alimony (maybe).

So you see, she has more rights here in the USA and can decide for herself what she thinks is fair.

Will all of this be writing in a divorce agreement, a legal paper that is binding? One that you cannot just change your mind at a whim? I know that her use of the house is. But is everything else going to be legally binding?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> What do you mean by ‘deprived of another chance? Another chance at what?





Zouz said:


> to date ,to get married : She can date from now as long as kids are not affected , I assure you ; she can marry again legally , and socially not an issue ;


Do you mean that most women in your country cannot date and remarry once they are divorced? Can you clarify?


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## jdawg2015 (Feb 12, 2015)

Boxing judge said:


> I wish our laws in America were like that.


Oh my yes. Our divorce laws are so screwed up in the US.

When you part, it makes zero sense that one has to keep up the standard of the other spouse.

I two degrees I earned on my own with no marital support and my ex wife was a college dropout. I begged my ex wife to go to school and get her degree, etc. Of course she was more than happy to live off the income I made during the marriage to only then feel entitled to money from me despite her being too lazy to better her education.

OP, the question I would have is is the divorce final with no chance of renegotiation later? In the US we have wacky laws that allow exes to come back for more even after the divorce was settled.

If there is no chance of her coming for more later than make a fair offer and move on. You'll feel better if you make equitable deal.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

jdawg2015 said:


> Oh my yes. Our divorce laws are so screwed up in the US.
> 
> When you part, it makes zero sense that one has to keep up the standard of the other spouse.
> 
> ...


How long were you married?

Do you have children with her? If so, how many?


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> Do you mean that most women in your country cannot date and remarry once they are divorced? Can you clarify?


they can , though socially and financially the pressure could affect it in specific cases ; take for example a relative of mine ; she was married to a soldier who was killed in war ; if she remarries she will loose the dead husband pension for her self ; because the monthly payments would go to kids only in this case ; she wanted to keep it so she is just dating .

Another member of my family married a man who is a jerk ; her parents embrassed her back ; she married again and have a beautiful family .

If she is a normal person , she will find a prince and get married again .

The point is that most divorced women do not want to loose financial grants and take the risk ; because when a divorce marry again ; she looses them...


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

jdawg2015 said:


> Oh my yes. Our divorce laws are so screwed up in the US.
> 
> When you part, it makes zero sense that one has to keep up the standard of the other spouse.
> 
> ...


if she was normal , we wouldn't be here ...

she is a BPDer who refuses anything , even consultancy .

I have to check for some time for kids ; because until they become strong enough she will abuse them mentally.


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> How long were you married?
> 
> Do you have children with her? If so, how many?


We are married for 17 years .
we have 3 gorgeous kids ; 16, and 13 ( girls); and a prince of 6 years old .

No doubt I am at fault because I tried my best over the year to satisfy her needs , which are nothing really much : sleep , watch series and play candy crush for hours ...

she is lazy to an extent that , even if she is idle , having nothing to do ; and they call her from school asking to pickup a sick child ; she will not move her but ; she will ask her sis or me to do it .

yet if a relative or someone asks her a favor , she would leave her work to do it !

she would be nice , until you just disagree with her about soemting ( a wish list for home improvement , anything silly ) ; 
the monment I just disagree calmly ,she will consider it as an insult , at that time she would resent for days, weeks ,etc...


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## ricky15100 (Oct 23, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> I think that you should give her the house.
> 
> Why?
> 
> ...


That's cold.................. I love it!!


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

the alternative I can have is to have another life ; my own ; a mistress or girl friend , etc ...
I am not seeking a green pass for this from anybody .

this has been offered even by her !!! as an alternative ; she said she never has the urge for intimacy ; I tested the water and offered : go yourself too , I will appreciate if you are happy with somebody else ; my be we will apprecaite both each other again; she said clearly ; not interrested.


Divorce effectively took place ; irrespective of legal status ; I have to choose what to do next .

legalizing the D doesn't affect anything , she has the house ; bills are paid ....

It is me who will pay the price at the end of everything ; It is me who is abnormal husband ; because he requires two unreasonable things from his partner : intimacy and affection .

I have many times put a formula which is simple ; 

Just don't deny me for more than one week , and if you get angry , rage I have no problem ; but after it calm down in a day or two ...

never able to make it succeed !

because what power I have?

nothing 

divorce is not a deal breaker 

intimacy is not .

force ? tried a kind of soft force ( never hit her or did wrong things );remember Elegirl one day , I opened a thread about a pact to push her to do intimacy at least once per weak ?

the third time I approached her , I couldn't even get an erection , I was torn ; feeling guilty ; I sat with her ; and calmly hugged her ; and told her let's forget about the dummy agreement ; let's work on ourselves ; she said she doesn't initiate ; I told her fine ;I will , but reject me no more than couple of times ...


I take meds for my gland tumor ; which increases my libido ; I recall I had a surge one day ; saw her tired (from nothing , she had a full time helper at that time ) ; she denied me ; I wispered calmly in her ear , I will hold it to tommorrow , or coming week end may be she would feel better .

She told me go to the toilet now and do it yourself ....

I am in a very , very bad situation , a loosing one ; I fight my inner desires ; and reject adultary ; so money tempting offers ...

I don't know how much more I can hold ..


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

ricky15100 said:


> That's cold.................. I love it!!


answered above ...
assumption is not valid ...


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## SweetAndSour (Feb 25, 2012)

Simple,

If she is worried about child custody, their well being, try to be fair, fair like sharing everyting in half.

If she is more concerned about who gets which house more than what happens to kids then fry her, give her the least.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

SweetAndSour said:


> Simple,
> 
> If she is worried about child custody, their well being, try to be fair, fair like sharing everyting in half.
> 
> If she is more concerned about who gets which house more than what happens to kids then fry her, give her the least.


She has no choice. Muslim family law in Lebanon is based on their religion.

For Shiite Muslims, that fathers automatically gain full custody of boys aged 2 years old. Mothers can keep their daughters until they reach 7 years old. After that fathers have custody.


For Suni Muslims, the father gains full custody of the children once they're 12 years old.


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

ELEGIRL,you are right about the information, the law is 50 years old ...; also christians /maronite can not divorce except after 10 years of separation ! 

This the most cruel thing I have seen in my life 

So the whole Legistlation system sucks because it follows religion demands .




Socially i believe your information i s a bit outdated ; to elaborate more :

since Sunnite do not have Zawaj Moutaa ; they either divorce or get second wife .

However Social pressure exists on men too :

-Why not every man unsatisfied with his wife use religion and marry another women ?
-why even he has Mouaakhar in his pocket , yet he doesn't divorce her .

It is not always because he doesn't have extra money ; it its the social pressure as well as the resp toward his kids especially the moral one is the thing that stop him .

having said that , I see that men nowadays , especially educated ones who are responsible morally toward their children don't have the privilege you think off , no matter if the cause is social or legal .

There is no fair system in the whole world ; even in US ; I know men who have been ripped from every single penny they made while the wife was a cheater ; also women who worked 20 years and when their Husband became a citizen he took half or more of what she made .

I am not defending any religion ; but it is more conveniant to resolve divorce issues her ; because it is simple ; she gets her mouaakhar ,Kids until they become 12 ( then they are given choice); and whatever she earned during the years which is most of the time fair enough .


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Zouz said:


> if my D was cruel to her husband by denying him sex all those years and being abusive to kids by being so selfish in her acts ; then I consider that she is lucky to get a house granted for free instead of splitting 50/50 ; where he also is paying everything and she has freedom to totally use her income ; while the husband is torn financially and spiritually as she is just selfish and passive aggressive .


Don't take the stupid advice in thisforum. I think you alredy put yourself in a terrible situation financially. Why should she even change ? You think your kindeness and sleflessness will melt her heart ? Talk to a proper lawyer in your country. You can always help her out with extra cash if you have it.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> I think that you should give her the house.
> 
> Why?
> 
> ...


You claim you don't understand what the situation completely then immediately you drop this. 

You should drop the act Elegirl. Over the last few months, I've lost quite a bit of respect for you. All I see is hate for men disguised as fair and balanced advice.


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

Warlock ,

irrespective of the country or religion ; when a couple are incompatible it is a big issue ; what is worse is that when one of them is lazy selfish person .

I am more than confident of my fairness.

I made my mind , Established a seperation agreement for now ; which is just similar to how things will looks like when we get a divorce ; obviously she doesn't give a sh1t ; I am done ; divorce is few yards away .

All the BS ELE and others where saying ; they assumed that I have a lot of money that I am not sharing in my divorce settlement ; I have a lot of debts that she is not legally part of it ; even the house she was granted is debt free .

I have a high income that is spent on kids and house , and she earns a lot less than me .

When we agreed about seperation now until further notice for the kids benefit ; the first topic she opened after this was to get a FULL time helper at home so that she can rest !

This women has once or twice in her life woke up early to make sandwiches to her children .

This great women who is now getting everything on a silver plate; and yet she is not satisfied !

I will grant her the rights I suggested ; she can go at the end to court ; and will get peanuts if she opt to.


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## AriYarjan (Mar 21, 2015)

zouz, a couple of questions:

What would happen if she brought another man to live in the house with her after divorce ?

Are you sure there isn't another man already in the picture ?


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

I thought you guys were going to remain living together, yet separated. Has this changed?


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

AriYarjan said:


> zouz, a couple of questions:
> 
> What would happen if she brought another man to live in the house with her after divorce ?
> 
> Are you sure there isn't another man already in the picture ?




will have to question the kids if they are treated well by her at least ; if she is , I don't care ; if she is not I will raise hell on her and get the kids ;I don't care what she does after that .

There is no other man yet , I am sure of it .


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

SecondTime'Round said:


> I thought you guys were going to remain living together, yet separated. Has this changed?



We will be seperated , Until One day , the kids are ready ; and they don't need me financially and emotionally ; then I will fly .


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