# EMAIL FROM EX...Need advice



## msgarcia000 (Aug 7, 2012)

"I was reading our first conversations on fb and made me wonder what ever happened to that Jenny. I know u don't want to hear from me, and after the way I reacted I can see why. I'm lucky if you even read this. To say I miss you isn't enough. I can't ask you to come back, I know your going to say no. But I just want you to know, that I'm willing to give up anything and I do mean ANYTHING just for a date with my Baby. Again I apologize for being such a fool not to see that u have me far more than I deserve and for that I'm willing to spend the rest of my life paying you back. I just want you to know that ain't no guy out there going to treat you like I could. (Tears came to eyes right now when the though of another man taking care of you came to my mind) I have never cheated on you, not even in our of times. Babe I Love You please call me"

My Story summarized:

My ex has told me multiple times that he has feelings for his ex. He used to tell me that he would rather us break up than him lie to me about it. Well, back in September, I left him because he told me that he wanted to try it with her. After a week, he went crying to me that he missed me and that he wanted me back. That it was such a big mistake. We were good until Monday when I saw on his phone bill that he had called this woman twice. I asked him and his answer was hurtful. He was angry that I was leaving him again and said so many mean things to me that I didn't deserve because I have done nothing but be good to him for the past 2 1/2 years. Well, two days ago he called me that he missed me. I've been ignoring him and telling him that he should just move on.

TODAY:

I woke up to this email, to a facebook message AND to about 15 missed calls. In my mind, I deserve so much better but how can I move on if he keeps trying to do everything in his willpower to contact me!!!!!

I am so angry with him for being so selfish. The only way he recognizes what he had is when we are not together. What should I do? Is there ever a real apology from these type of men or will he get the point if I dont reply to his emails?


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## dubsey (Feb 21, 2013)

don't respond.

even if you eventually want to give it another go, now isn't the time to engage with him, IMO.


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## loveispatient (Jan 10, 2013)

If you know for certain that you want nothing to do with him, then stay the course of NC. There's a thread for the "180" that might help you in some way. It's just to keep the focus on you versus him. 

Over time, if you reduce contact, it will end in its own time. I had an ex many years ago that did something similar and it took no e-mails, no calls, no texts from me before he realized that I wanted to keep moving forward.


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## fandot78 (Feb 10, 2013)

msgarcia000 said:


> "I was reading our first conversations on fb and made me wonder what ever happened to that Jenny. I know u don't want to hear from me, and after the way I reacted I can see why. I'm lucky if you even read this. To say I miss you isn't enough. I can't ask you to come back, I know your going to say no. But I just want you to know, that I'm willing to give up anything and I do mean ANYTHING just for a date with my Baby. Again I apologize for being such a fool not to see that u have me far more than I deserve and for that I'm willing to spend the rest of my life paying you back. I just want you to know that ain't no guy out there going to treat you like I could. (Tears came to eyes right now when the though of another man taking care of you came to my mind) I have never cheated on you, not even in our of times. Babe I Love You please call me"
> 
> My Story summarized:
> 
> ...


I feel like this...you should always be the bigger person and be willing to offer your forgiveness, now whether or not that involves taking him back or not thats up to you. But dont hold up your blessings by holding a grudge (I hope that makes sense). I know a lot of times its easier said than done, and a lot of times, it takes time to get to that point...

I was the fool in my situation and just didnt love my wife the way she needed me to. I loved her but just didnt know how to love her. I'm fighting everyday to prove myself to her...and to let her know how sorry I am...The thing is I'm genuinely sorry for the damage I've done and want more than anything for my family to be restored. It's really up to you to determine if he is sincere. The thing my wife has told me which does make a lot of sense..At this point an apology is more than the words, the actions have to do the talking now...

As for him, it does sound like a lot of wanting to have his cake and eat it too..I dont know him but from your descrip of the situation, thats what it sounds like... Good Luck!! Stay Faithful!! God Bless


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Why haven't you blocked his number and on FB? Throw his email address into you spam filters. You're letting this be a bigger issue than it needs to be. Start taking control and ownership of your situation, and recognize that the only person who's actions you can control is your own. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Not knowing your ages, but assuming that you're fairly young, I can't help but feel that he had some trepidations or second thoughts on you when he originally entered into a relationship with you.

Seems like he was "holding a torch" or "having his fingers crossed" all at the same time while in pursuit of you. Now that "the chickens have come home to roost" and he has no one there for him, he fastly runs home to you.

This is your call and should be your call alone! If you see the good in him and think that it's somehow worth the risk, then reconciliation might be a viable option and you would be a heck of a woman in doing it under these circumstances. 

But then again, since he now has established a track record, and if this thing were to rear it's ugly head once again, then you would once again be left holding the bag and having him once again play you for the fool.

Tread lightly here, but do so judiciously!


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## msgarcia000 (Aug 7, 2012)

PBear said:


> Why haven't you blocked his number and on FB? Throw his email address into you spam filters. You're letting this be a bigger issue than it needs to be. Start taking control and ownership of your situation, and recognize that the only person who's actions you can control is your own.
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I did block him from my phone. Every text that I received from him I cannot see because of the blocker, and every phone call that comes in from him, is dropped and straight to voicemail. I also deleted him from FB and now I'm considering blocking his ass too!!!



fandot78 said:


> I feel like this...you should always be the bigger person and be willing to offer your forgiveness, now whether or not that involves taking him back or not thats up to you. But dont hold up your blessings by holding a grudge (I hope that makes sense). I know a lot of times its easier said than done, and a lot of times, it takes time to get to that point...
> 
> I was the fool in my situation and just didnt love my wife the way she needed me to. I loved her but just didnt know how to love her. I'm fighting everyday to prove myself to her...and to let her know how sorry I am...The thing is I'm genuinely sorry for the damage I've done and want more than anything for my family to be restored. It's really up to you to determine if he is sincere. The thing my wife has told me which does make a lot of sense..At this point an apology is more than the words, the actions have to do the talking now...
> 
> As for him, it does sound like a lot of wanting to have his cake and eat it too..I dont know him but from your descrip of the situation, thats what it sounds like... Good Luck!! Stay Faithful!! God Bless


I am holding a grudge. I understand your point of view but if your wife was the one who had done what you did to her...would you have forgiven so easily? Like step outside of your mind for a sec and be open minded, would you really have?

Sometimes I forgive him but when he starts to contact me like this again, I start to hate him all over again. 

LoveIsPatient:

Your TAM name says it all. Right now I will not be going back to him. But if he really "loves" me, I guess he'll be patient enough to see me try to live my life and find a good guy for me. Yeah, that patient. 

Dubsey:

I was thinking that too. I am not going to reply nor anything of that nature. I am better than that. I just have this little feeling that he will be showing up at my job, since that's what he does when I'm not responding him. Urgh!


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## msgarcia000 (Aug 7, 2012)

arbitrator said:


> Not knowing your ages, but assuming that you're fairly young, I can't help but feel that he had some trepidations or second thoughts on you when he originally entered into a relationship with you.
> 
> Seems like he was "holding a torch" or "having his fingers crossed" all at the same time while in pursuit of you. Now that "the chickens have come home to roost" and he has no one there for him, he fastly runs home to you.
> 
> ...


I'm 24, he's 26. I don't really understand your first sentence. I mean, are you saying that he might not have wanted a relationship when he first entered the relationship the first time?


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## NoWhere (Oct 2, 2012)

So the girl he left you for probably wants nothing to do with him so now he's crawling back to you. He's so hurt and lonely and can't go on without you. blah blah blah. In other words he's again thinking about himself only.

If you still have feelings for this guy and him for you maybe you guys can try again down the road. People do stupid things sometimes and make mistakes so I'm not against forgiveness, but the real question is will he take you for granted again down the road. Also the mean things he said will they ever completely leave your mind or will they always sit back there waiting to come forward when things go bad next time.


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## msgarcia000 (Aug 7, 2012)

NoWhere said:


> So the girl he left you for probably wants nothing to do with him so now he's crawling back to you. He's so hurt and lonely and can't go on without you. blah blah blah. In other words he's again thinking about himself only.
> 
> If you still have feelings for this guy and him for you maybe you guys can try again down the road. People do stupid things sometimes and make mistakes so I'm not against forgiveness, but the real question is will he take you for granted again down the road. Also the mean things he said will they ever completely leave your mind or will they always sit back there waiting to come forward when things go bad next time.


No, those things he said to me will never get off my mind. And because I dont trust him anymore, I cant ever be at peace, just thinking about him doing it behind my back. You are ALL right...I won't be going back to this guy since I don't know the real issues behind his decision on coming back to me. The last time he came back to me, he omitted the fact that the ex that he left me for didn't want to answer any of his calls. After I found that out, I felt like a loser, like a second option. Will focus on me even though it hurts.


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## NoWhere (Oct 2, 2012)

Well in that case I say move full steam ahead and forget him. There are plenty of other fish in the sea with less baggage. Didn't realize this wasn't the first time he left.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

msgarcia000 said:


> I don't really understand your first sentence. I mean, are you saying that he might not have wanted a relationship when he first entered the relationship the first time?


Either that, or he had some sort of a "hidden desire" of the possibility of some kind of a hopeful reconcilliation with his first GF.

Not to be crass or hurtful here, but his logic would have largely been that he already had you in tow, but if this former relationship of his came back to fruition, then you would be deemed to be fastly disposable. I hope that I'm mistaken!

In any event, please be cautious and judge with your mind here much rather than with your heart and emotions!


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Lose him

He's never happy with what he has and it sounds as if he said some pretty harsh things to you

You're still young. Why would you want to trap yourself in his vicious little circle of "I want you" - "I don't want you"?


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## msgarcia000 (Aug 7, 2012)

Wow I just locked myself up in the office bathroom and cried me a river. This is one of the most painful situations I've ever endured. Not even with the Ex I had before him which I lasted longer with, I felt this way after the breakup.

I keep telling myself "Jenny, everything will be all right".


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## msgarcia000 (Aug 7, 2012)

arbitrator said:


> Either that, or he had some sort of a "hidden desire" of the possibility of some kind of a hopeful reconcilliation with his first GF.
> 
> Not to be crass or hurtful here, but his logic would have largely been that he already had you in tow, but if this former relationship of his came back to fruition, then you would be deemed to be fastly disposable. I hope that I'm mistaken!
> 
> In any event, please be cautious and judge with your mind here much rather than with your heart and emotions!


:scratchhead::scratchhead::scratchhead::scratchhead:

I Believe that you are on the right track. When we first began dating, he went behind my back and saw his ex. He kissed her and disrespected me by taking her to his parents home AFTER he had already presented me as his girlfriend. Back then I wasn't serious with him so I told him to not call me for a few days until he figured out what he wanted to do. But that happened, he took his few days and we kept on dating because he chose me. Or so I think. Mhmmm, maybe she rejected him too back then and thats why he chose me. I gotta stop this vicious cycle with this man ASAP!


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

msgarcia000 said:


> :scratchhead::scratchhead::scratchhead::scratchhead:
> 
> I Believe that you are on the right track. When we first began dating, he went behind my back and saw his ex. He kissed her and disrespected me by taking her to his parents home AFTER he had already presented me as his girlfriend. Back then I wasn't serious with him so I told him to not call me for a few days until he figured out what he wanted to do. But that happened, he took his few days and we kept on dating because he chose me. Or so I think. Mhmmm, maybe she rejected him too back then and thats why he chose me. I gotta stop this vicious cycle with this man ASAP!


You'll make the right decision, m'dear! I have faith in you. Meanwhile, you'll fastly remain in my prayers!


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## msgarcia000 (Aug 7, 2012)

arbitrator said:


> You'll make the right decision, m'dear! I have faith in you. Meanwhile, you'll fastly remain in my prayers!


Thank you ray:


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## Betrayedwife (Nov 9, 2012)

RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE. My stbxh cheated on me several times. The last time was with his ex wife. He started out talking to her and missing her. Before I knew it she was in his arms. He took his ring off and told her that he loved her. What else they did, I don't truly know. Now he says he screwed her too. IDK. I tried to make it work, marriage counseling and all, but I just could do it. 

Sister, if you are not the only one he cares about and dreams about then CUT HIM LOOSE. You deserve a man who loves you unconditionally and solely.

I know about your mixed feelings. I had them too. You have to RUN.


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