# No sex life



## Joe blow (Jan 1, 2022)

My wife doesn't initiate sex with me but she'll sleep naked and give me access to her if "I" wanna have sex. She never appears or acts horny but if i look in her phone i see she watches porn when i leave out the house. She prefers big **** porn. I'm about 5.5 inches and not too thick. We've went to toy stores and she's picked out one that's about 4x my size. When we used it I've never seen her as wet and creamy as i did with that toy but she acted like she didn't like it. I think she's not sexually attracted to me bcuz of my **** size. She doesn't **** me or suck my **** on her own, but she will do it without complaint if i ask. I just don't like that i have to ask. She'll lay naked in bed with me all day but won't touch me. Then when i leave she's watches big **** porn (big black ****s.com) etc, and masterbates. I think she wants a bigger **** and that's why there's no sexual interest. I don't know if there's a way to fix this but it sucks. I've never had this with any other women b4 her. She gave birth to 3 babies that weighed between 8lbs 10oz and 9lbs 4oz and her vagina never went back to b4. Her hole literally sits open if u look at it so i think that plays a part. I'm thinking of getting penuma to increase my size. Idk. I'm confused tho. She not sexually attracted to me and it bothers tf outta me.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Ask her to stop the porn. Not only is it very disrespectful towards you but her whole sexual focus is away from you on the porn. She should be focusing on you alone and your marriage. 
Watching or reading things that makes you discontent with your spouse or marriage is a fools game.


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## Captain Obvious (Mar 14, 2021)

Just how much porn is she watching? She may have a porn addiction and her concept of sex is being altered because of it.


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## Joe blow (Jan 1, 2022)

Captain Obvious said:


> Just how much porn is she watching? She may have a porn addiction and her concept of sex is being altered because of it.


She doesn't watch it often. I'd say once a week, whenever she horny, i guess. It's just that whenever that is she'd rather masterbate than have sex with me and she almost always cums when we **** so I'm confused. What is the disconnect


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Yeah……………


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Joe blow said:


> My wife doesn't initiate sex with me but she'll sleep naked and *give me access to her if "I" wanna have sex.*
> 
> .......she watches porn when i leave out the house. She prefers big **** porn.
> 
> ...





Joe blow said:


> She doesn't watch it often. *I'd say once a week, whenever she horny,* i guess. It's just that whenever that is she'd rather masterbate than have sex with me and* she almost always cums when we **** so I'm confused*. What is the disconnect


Dear Joe,

A few thoughts. Sometimes we grossly over think things and our imagination creates far worse scenarios than the reality before us. While you may feel that your penis size is the real issue in your relationship, that is extremely rare in real life. Yes there is a whole lot of Small Penis Humiliation (SPH) porn out there, it is not a big thing in the real world. Don't get you penis carved up with an insert just because you think it would help cure your relationship problems.

You really need to have some much better discussions with your wife to find out what is really going on.

First, she seems to orgasm when the two of you have sex, which is great. Next you post that when you initiate she will always say yes. There are so many men who would kill to have a wife that would agree to sex when asked as opposed to always rejecting them. Your glass is half full. Count your blessings. That doesn't mean you can't work to make it more full.

However, you need to understand that there is no way you can force you wife to do things she does not want to do. Only she can change herself and then only if she wants to. Your job will be to support any positive changes she makes so as to encourage her to make more changes (she wants to make) that you view positively. Don't try to force her to do things she isn't ready to do.

How is the rest of your marriage going? Are there areas of it that she would like to work on? Areas, she would like you to change?

*How about either sitting down with her, or better yet the two of you sitting down with a marriage counselor. Explain to her how much you love her, love and desire her. Tell her how important sex with her is to you. Tell her that you would like more sensual intimacy in your marriage and that you would like to feel more sexually desired.* The problem in doing this is that without a lot of work on your part you will come off as "needy" and "clingy" which are not sexy qualities in a man. A marriage counselor might be able to help.

When my wife and I were in Sex Therapy with a ST and marriage counselor, we did Sensate Focus exercises to increase non-sexual, but sensual intimacy. David Schnarch has an interesting book on Intimacy and Sexual Desire that explains how intimacy and desire are linked and created and even has some exercises in how to increase sexual desire. My wife and have read chapters separately and discussed them weakly. Prior to the book, my wife told me she wanted more non-sexual intimacy. After reading the book and some of the exercises, she told me she doesn't want that much intimacy. Real intimacy requires being very vulnerable to your partner and takes great courage and self-differentiation (integrity and confidence).

You might want to also read Glover's book No More Mr. Nice Guy. A NG is code words for a man who is codependent upon his wife/girlfriend and has been raised by women authority figures (mothers, teachers, female bosses, etc.) to please women as a way of being emotionally rewarded. Transforming from a Nice Guy does not mean you will become a jerk, it can mean that you become an integrated, confident man. Most women find such men very sexy. That should be your immediate goal. An integrated man enjoys a woman's company but isn't codependent and feel bad when she is not all over his body wanting sex. An integrated and confident man knows that if he and his woman have sex it will be good for both and strengthen their relationship, but he doesn't need to beg her, or feel bad when she doesn't initiate. 

Do you think that she understands you "fear" of not having a big penis and how that impacts what happens every time you have sex?

OK, now never, never, ever comment on the size of her vagina after the birth of your children. If she every hears you say that or your non-verbal communication every tells her that, you will have lots of problems in your relationship.

One of the things most long term couples don't realize is how well they non-verbally communicate some subjects. If the two of you have been married for quite awhile (enough to have three children) she will be able to read you body language, your facial expressions, the tone of your voice, etc. and know what you are thinking. 

Sit back a moment, when you and she went to the toy store and got the huge dildo, do you think she sensed how much it excited you? Could that have been why she wanted to get it? When you commented about how creamy she was when the two of you used it, do you think you let her know how special you thought that was in a non-verbal way? Do you think that her "big penis" porn viewing might be at least partially your subconsciously training her that such things are "exciting" to you and so should be exciting to her? Could any of this be things she is doing to try to "please you," because of the non-verbal communication you have given her?

Yes, porn addiction can be a problem when it interferes with the amount of sex that two partners get. 

I suspect that you and your wife have trained each other to have you do all the initiation. If you want her to initiate more you will have to tell her that, let her know it is important to you and hope that she may want to help change the way the two of you have trained each other. Perhaps you can ask her to masturbate for your viewing pleasure because it would excite you. That might be a bridge on the road you want to get to. If she can only do that while you are out of the house, maybe you can ask her to "sext" you after she has done it, so you can come home all ready for action after the kids are put to bed. Maybe it can even be a pre-date night bit of foreplay she does for you, so it can become her way of "initiating."

Good luck to you. I really think your glass is much more than half full and you should count your blessings.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Kegel exercises, good diet and getting her a gym membership with a trainer will go a long way to solving your problem. Ditch the 20+ inch dildo and get your wife's wawa back in shape to service humans again instead of cattle.😉


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

Joe blow said:


> I'm about 5.5 inches and not too thick. We've went to toy stores and she's picked out one that's about 4x my size.


Where does one find a 22” dildo? Hardware store?Asking for a friend.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

RebuildingMe said:


> Where does one find a 22” dildo? Hardware store?Asking for a friend.


Not that I would ever possibly know so there is no way I could tell you it’s called “The Great American Challenge.”

Giant vaginas are your friend.... you just have to know how to feed them 😅


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

RebuildingMe said:


> Where does one find a 22” dildo? Hardware store?Asking for a friend.


Think volume, not just length...

4=1.587^3

So, length, width, and depth would only to be 1.587x the comparable member.
The length would be about 8.75" and the width and depth would be each 1.587x the size of the original member to get a comparable member that is 4x the OP's dimensions.


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## Joe blow (Jan 1, 2022)

Young at Heart said:


> Dear Joe,
> 
> A few thoughts. Sometimes we grossly over think things and our imagination creates far worse scenarios than the reality before us. While you may feel that your penis size is the real issue in your relationship, that is extremely rare in real life. Yes there is a whole lot of Small Penis Humiliation (SPH) porn out there, it is not a big thing in the real world. Don't get you penis carved up with an insert just because you think it would help cure your relationship problems.
> 
> ...


U touched on some good pointers. However I'm very transparent and communicative with her. Our marriage is great otherwise. We date often, We're great friends and have good times. At the toy store i saw her curious of the huge dildos so i told her to get whatever she wanted and not to worry about what she thinks I'm thinking. I didn't mind and wanted to see her get off however she really wanted to. I'm not an insecure person, just a confused one from her actions or lack there of. She'll watch porn then deny it. I told her plenty times that she doesn't have to do that. I watched porn while she was at work sometimes too, which she knows. I just basically think she's attracted to or craves larger ****s and that's why she never wants sex with me. She's not going on bigdicks.com for nothing.


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## Joe blow (Jan 1, 2022)

RebuildingMe said:


> Where does one find a 22” dildo? Hardware store?Asking for a friend.


Lol, that size was exaggerated. But it was very larger than my own.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

If you’re fat you can probably gain an inch by getting in shape. Other than that, I don’t think any of the treatments and such really do anything.

If she’s a size queen maybe look into an extension?


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Well Joe....
some women really only want a big penis inside of them. other forms of sex they just do not like. So if you have a small penis, and she does not want any other form of sex from you...you kind of have an insurmountable problem.

but have you really exhausted all avenues?
How are you at giving cunnilingus?
will she let you use her dildos on her?
how about bondage? Spanking? Forced orgasms? 

really try to find something new that DOES turn her on, and makes her horny.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

Off topic …. When does school start again?


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Joe blow said:


> My wife doesn't initiate sex with me but she'll sleep naked and give me access to her if "I" wanna have sex. She never appears or acts horny but if i look in her phone i see she watches porn when i leave out the house. She prefers big *** porn. I'm about 5.5 inches and not too thick. We've went to toy stores and she's picked out one that's about 4x my size. When we used it I've never seen her as wet and creamy as i did with that toy but she acted like she didn't like it. I think she's not sexually attracted to me bcuz of my size. She doesn't me or suck my on her own, but she will do it without complaint if i ask. I just don't like that i have to ask. She'll lay naked in bed with me all day but won't touch me. Then when i leave she's watches big porn (big black ***s.com) etc, and masterbates. I think she wants a bigger ** and that's why there's no sexual interest. I don't know if there's a way to fix this but it sucks. I've never had this with any other women b4 her. She gave birth to 3 babies that weighed between 8lbs 10oz and 9lbs 4oz and her vagina never went back to b4. Her hole literally sits open if u look at it so i think that plays a part. I'm thinking of getting penuma to increase my size. Idk. I'm confused tho. She not sexually attracted to me and it bothers tf outta me.


Her not initiating is honestly pretty normal or at least it's not unusual. Many women just feel as the man's job to initiate and it is true that men usually want sex far more often than women do so women therefore feel no need to initiate. Masturbation doesn't replace actual sex or vice versa. Maybe she just likes the look of a big wang. When she masturbates is she using the toy or just looking at it and touching herself?

There's nothing wrong with your penis so you need to stop trying to think of that as a problem. She's the one that can do something about this.

Don't hold your breath waiting for women to want to give you a BJ because most women do not enjoy doing that anyway and just do it out of obligation. They don't crave to do it.

Anastasia made me take my suggestion down and says they don't do that anymore much, so please see posts below.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Somebody else's probably said this by now but I haven't read everything. She would benefit from getting a husband's knot, but I thought obstetricians usually did that kind of automatically after birth. I think you should talk to her about getting one. It's not a big procedure. She might be more than willing.
> 
> Turn on initiating is honestly pretty normal or at least it's not unusual. Many women just feel as the man's job to initiate and it is true that men usually want sex far more often than women do so women therefore feel no need to initiate. Masturbation doesn't replace actual sex or vice versa. Maybe she just likes the look of a big wang. When she masturbates is she using the toy or just looking at it and touching herself?
> 
> ...


Never recommend a husbands knot it is barbaric.


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## Tested_by_stress (Apr 1, 2021)

RebuildingMe said:


> Where does one find a 22” dildo? Hardware store?Asking for a friend.


😂😂😂 Lmfao!!!


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Anastasia6 said:


> Never recommend a husbands knot it is barbaric.


I googled and see they're not doing them much anymore but it was a normal thing for most of my life. Seems to me it'd be better than not being able to have pleasurable sex.


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I googled and see they're not doing them much anymore but it was a normal thing for most of my life. Seems to me it'd be better than not being able to have pleasurable sex.


This is the big thing these days.








Vaginoplasty - Procedure, Cost, Benefits, Risks, Recovery


Know everything about Vaginoplasty (Vaginal Tightening Surgery) | Find the best Gynaecologist near you | No Cost EMI Treatment




www.pristyncare.com


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I just looked up and found this which is probably the same.

But unlike a husband's knot, which was just an extra stitch after childbirth, this is more major surgery, so she may not want to have anything to do with it.








Vaginoplasty | Aesthetic Genital Plastic Surgery


Vaginoplasty (also known as posterior colporrhaphy) is a procedure designed to tighten the vagina.




www.plasticsurgery.org


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

RebuildingMe said:


> Where does one find a 22” dildo? Hardware store?Asking for a friend.


Right next to the fence post


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Mr.Married said:


> Right next to the fence post


She may have bought the store fire extinguisher 🧯


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Andy1001 said:


> She may have bought the store fire extinguisher 🧯


Gotta give that gal a break .... she’s just “trying to put the out the fire” 🔥 🔥


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

jonty30 said:


> Think volume, not just length...
> 
> 4=1.587^3
> 
> ...


I was having a "little" fun with the dildo dimensions but the rest of my post was good advice for Joe.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Maybe he needs to learn how to fist her?


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

ConanHub said:


> I was having a "little" fun with the dildo dimensions but the rest of my post was good advice for Joe.


Even if you consider volume, it's still a 1 litre pop bottle in size.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Merciful words are lost on the childish, on the cruel, and the foolish amongst us.

It seems that there is never enough pain, given unto the world.

Men, ever so, heap it tall on those burning embers.



_King Brian-_ from his notes.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

No Blow Joe would have been more appropriate


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Anastasia6 said:


> Off topic …. When does school start again?


Oh come on ..... we are only having a “little” fun !!


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Talker67 said:


> Well Joe....
> some women really only want a big penis inside of them. other forms of sex they just do not like. So if you have a small penis, and she does not want any other form of sex from you...you kind of have an insurmountable problem.
> 
> but have you really exhausted all avenues?
> ...


He cant give her what she wants. Full stop. Just matter of time until she finds someone IRL to “fill” her need.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

SunCMars said:


> Merciful words are lost on the childish, on the cruel, and the foolish amongst us.
> 
> It seems that there is never enough pain, given unto the world.
> 
> ...


A fool's mouth calls for blows, his back for many stripes.

But though you grind him into dust, he will never learn, being wise in his own eyes.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Joe blow said:


> U touched on some good pointers. However I'm very transparent and communicative with her. Our marriage is great otherwise. We date often, We're great friends and have good times. At the toy store i saw her curious of the huge dildos so i told her to get whatever she wanted and not to worry about what she thinks I'm thinking. I didn't mind and wanted to see her get off however she really wanted to. I'm not an insecure person, just a confused one from her actions or lack there of. She'll watch porn then deny it. I told her plenty times that she doesn't have to do that. I watched porn while she was at work sometimes too, which she knows. I just basically think she's attracted to or craves larger ****s and that's why she never wants sex with me. She's not going on bigdicks.com for nothing.


So what could you possibly do for her to become attracted to you again?? She has seen the promised land. 

Are you sure when she cums while having sex with you that she isnt faking? Suspicious that right after you climb off, she is hot to surf porn. Dont you think if she was actually satiated she would relax for awhile? Ot ask you to “do that again Joe!”?


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Big Labia Matter !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

BTW you can get an extender from Etsy a quick search will turn them up. 

The kind of size she’s looking for may be tough to find and it depends if she needs length, girth, or both. I think some of those shops will do custom dimensions.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I googled and see they're not doing them much anymore but it was a normal thing for most of my life. Seems to me it'd be better than not being able to have pleasurable sex.


Husbands knots create painful sex. You end up with a small scar that doesn’t stretch


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## LATERILUS79 (Apr 1, 2021)

jonty30 said:


> This is the big thing these days.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Looks like I have something to talk to my wife about tonight. 😂


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

ConanHub said:


> Kegel exercises, good diet and getting her a gym membership with a trainer will go a long way to solving your problem. *Ditch the 20+ inch dildo and get your wife's wawa back in shape to service humans again instead of cattle.*😉


ROFL Hahahahaha


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

ConanHub said:


> I was having a "little" fun with the dildo dimensions but the rest of my post was good advice for Joe.


Hopefully you had 4 times as much fun.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Anastasia6 said:


> Husbands knots create painful sex. You end up with a small scar that doesn’t stretch


I don't think that happened all the time but if they have a better way, great. I've heard a couple of women say it was great many years ago.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I don't think that happened all the time but if they have a better way, great. I've heard a couple of women say it was great many years ago.


It’s called the husbands knot NOT the wife’s knot. Every woman I’ve happened to discuss it with it resulted in painful sex for a while. Since it was much more common many years ago, I imagine it is responsible for a lot of drop off after children and a lot of resentment and sec aversion.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

OP have you tried using a butt plug in her while having sex, it makes the vaginal walls push in and gives more sensation.
And I’d recommend she give up the porn.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Joe blow said:


> My wife doesn't initiate sex with me but she'll sleep naked and give me access to her if "I" wanna have sex. She never appears or acts horny but if i look in her phone i see she watches porn when i leave out the house. She prefers big *** porn. I'm about 5.5 inches and not too thick. We've went to toy stores and she's picked out one that's about 4x my size. When we used it I've never seen her as wet and creamy as i did with that toy but she acted like she didn't like it. I think she's not sexually attracted to me bcuz of my *** size. She doesn't *** me or suck my *** on her own, but she will do it without complaint if i ask. I just don't like that i have to ask. She'll lay naked in bed with me all day but won't touch me. Then when i leave she's watches big *** porn (big black ***s.com) etc, and masterbates. I think she wants a bigger ** and that's why there's no sexual interest. I don't know if there's a way to fix this but it sucks. I've never had this with any other women b4 her. She gave birth to 3 babies that weighed between 8lbs 10oz and 9lbs 4oz and her vagina never went back to b4. Her hole literally sits open if u look at it so i think that plays a part. I'm thinking of getting penuma to increase my size. Idk. I'm confused tho. She not sexually attracted to me and it bothers tf outta me.


Dude, if you want to be taken seriously you need to listen as well. If this is all accurate, your wife is just way out of shape because women who stay fit snap right back into shape.

You need some communication with your wife about the deterioration of your sex life and hopefully she doesn't just blow you off Joe.


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## Joe blow (Jan 1, 2022)

jonty30 said:


> Even if you consider volume, it's still a 1 litre pop bottle in size.


Lol


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## Joe blow (Jan 1, 2022)

ConanHub said:


> Dude, if you want to be taken seriously you need to listen as well. If this is all accurate, your wife is just way out of shape because women who stay fit snap right back into shape.
> 
> You need some communication with your wife about the deterioration of your sex life and hopefully she doesn't just blow you off Joe.


My wife is in great shape. Very sexy and attractive


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## Joe blow (Jan 1, 2022)

Rus47 said:


> So what could you possibly do for her to become attracted to you again?? She has seen the promised land.
> 
> Are you sure when she cums while having sex with you that she isnt faking? Suspicious that right after you climb off, she is hot to surf porn. Dont you think if she was actually satiated she would relax for awhile? Ot ask you to “do that again Joe!”?


She doesn't watch porn after sex. She watches it maybe twice a month when she's horny i guess. My issue is if you're horny why not **** me instead of ya toy?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Joe blow said:


> My wife is in great shape. Very sexy and attractive


No she isn't if her vag just hangs open.

She is actually in terrible shape if that's happening.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Anastasia6 said:


> It’s called the husbands knot NOT the wife’s knot. Every woman I’ve happened to discuss it with it resulted in painful sex for a while. Since it was much more common many years ago, I imagine it is responsible for a lot of drop off after children and a lot of resentment and sec aversion.


Never heard that. But certainly you wouldn't want to have sex if anything was still painful though.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Joe blow said:


> She doesn't watch porn after sex. She watches it maybe twice a month when she's horny i guess. My issue is if you're horny why not **** me instead of ya toy?


Sorry, but seems like the ship has sailed ( and isn't likely to return ). Since the big kids, you aren't a good fit. The toy gets her jollies better (and with less effort) evidently. And while she is using it she can run the porn through her head and imagine being done by one of the big boys in the films. Lotta women (at least on TAM) claim publicly "size doesn't matter". They would never admit in a million years to any partner otherwise. Unless he was one of the bigger/badder/better ones in which case they would worship him.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

I have a feeling size matters a lot for some women especially if they are having A spot orgasms.

My wife needs external stimulation, preferably for her a vibrator. She doesn’t have one of those dual toys with internal and external but if she did that would be as close as she could get to what makes her pop fast. 

I’m not sure for my wife size would make much difference. If she has one from PIV with no hands or toys it is 100% of the time her on top where she can grind.

A couple times probably when I was down near 205 lbs and had as low fat pad as possible on my pelvis I hit her cervix and she was more like “ow” than “yes”.


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## DLC (Sep 19, 2021)

Wait, so she sleep naked and you can get it when you want it, she never say no?

what seems to be the problem here? Haha.


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

DLC said:


> Wait, so she sleep naked and you can get it when you want it, she never say no?
> 
> what seems to be the problem here? Haha.


The grass is always greener....


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

DLC said:


> Wait, so she sleep naked and you can get it when you want it, she never say no?
> 
> what seems to be the problem here? Haha.


I think the problem is he can't tell any difference between when she is sleeping and getting fd by him.

Apparently, she can't either...


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## CrAzYdOgLaDy (Mar 22, 2021)

Deleted. Trying to remove photo. Hope thus works


Original post

How about one of these? You can get extra large ones. Or if her vagina entrance is very large she can have it stitched tighter, so more pleasurable for you both. If my hole was too large for my husband I would definitely opt to get it tighter. The large vibrators she is using need to be binned. If she carries on you will be able to fit your head up there soon lol. Your size isn't the problem, the size of her toys are the problem.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

CrAzYdOgLaDy said:


> How about one of these? You can get extra large ones. Or if her vagina entrance is very large she can have it stitched tighter, so more pleasurable for you both. If my hole was too large for my husband I would definitely opt to get it tighter. The large vibrators she is using need to be binned. If she carries on you will be able to fit your head up there soon lol. Your size isn't the problem, the size of her toys are the problem.


You might want to edit the picture out of this post. Good advice though.


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## CrAzYdOgLaDy (Mar 22, 2021)

ConanHub said:


> You might want to edit the picture out of this post. Good advice though.


How do I delete it lol. Thought adding another might remove it. Can admin remove it please. Don't want to get into trouble


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## CrAzYdOgLaDy (Mar 22, 2021)

CrAzYdOgLaDy said:


> How do I delete it lol. Thought adding another might remove it. Can admin remove it please. Don't want to get into trouble


Worked it out haha. Thanks for the heads up.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

DLC said:


> Wait, so she sleep naked and you can get it when you want it, she never say no?
> 
> what seems to be the problem here? Haha.


Speaking personally, engaging my wife if she wasn't really "into it" would be tantamount to self pleasure. I want her to want me. And if she didn't, the biggest part of the pleasure would be gone. OP is in the bad spot where his wife has transferred her drive to a big dildo.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

ConanHub said:


> No she isn't if her vag just hangs open.
> 
> She is actually in terrible shape if that's happening.


That sums it up. 🙄🙄🙄


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## Davit Bek (Sep 9, 2021)

@Joe blow The fact that she doesn't like to admit to it tells me this is a little more serious than just physical sexual gratification (you mentioned she has has orgasm with you). This seems to be both increased physical pleasure from larger toys AND a fantasy that can't be realized within the relationship and she is doing her best not admit to it or bring it to the forefront of her thoughts. Don't force her for now.

This situation is as fixable as both partners want it to be. Routinely engaging in fantasies that can't be played out in real life without destroying the relationship could be dangerous. Penis size is not the only fantasy. What about a man who keeps entertaining having a foursome with 3 women?

Talk to her about this. The physical part seems to be easier to solve as one can have vaginal tightening procedures, introduce stand alone toys or penis sleeves, or using a buttplug to make her feel more full.

My advice to you is this. Act strong and be unaffected by her emotional changes. Don't pressure her or get angry at her. That generally does the opposite of attracting. Talk to her and tell her you're committed to her pleasure without demonstrating concern or neediness. Just that you're willing to try everything within the boundaries of her marriage. But entertaining fantasies must stop. Also, that while you're absolutely willing to help her overcome this, you won't settle for a marriage in which there is only one way sexual attraction.


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## A18S37K14H18 (Dec 14, 2021)

> Anastasia6 said:
> Husbands knots create painful sex. You end up with a small scar that doesn’t stretch


I don't think that happened all the time but if they have a better way, great. I've heard a couple of women say it was great many years ago. 


To me, this is a "husband stitch".









Husband stitch: What is it?


The husband stitch is the name for an extra stitch that a woman may receive after vaginal delivery. There is no medical support for its use. Learn more here.




www.medicalnewstoday.com





After the birth of my 3rd child over 20 years ago, I was given a husband stitch without my knowledge or consent.

This was beyond wrong. Just Google "husband stitch" and there are lots of articles regarding this.

My then husband and I looked into whether we should take any action against the doctor and the hospital as they did something to me that wasn't requested, wanted or ran by me to see whether it was OK.

Beyond that, my first husband was beyond well endowed and we simply could not have sex for the first 6 months after I had our 3rd child. I had no idea why either. Yes, I knew I'd just given birth, but I'd already given birth twice before and we had no issues like this.

I finally brought it up to my OBGYN at a checkup and that's when I found out I'd been given a "husband stitch".

Long story short, I had to have a procedure scheduled so it could be undone.

Due to all this, my then husband and I didn't/couldn't have sex for a bit over 8 months after I gave birth as it took a bit to get the procedure and then I had to heal a tad from that.

It's abhorrent that a medical professional can just do this to a lady without her knowledge or consent.









The Husband Stitch Isn’t Just a Horrifying Childbirth Myth


When repairing episiotomies or tearing from birth, some providers put in an extra stitch “for daddy,” with painful consequences for women.




www.healthline.com





As the article immediately above states, it can cause real issues for women. One lady in the article didn't find out until 5 years later.

This from the article just above:

"A husband stitch, or daddy stitch, is an extra stitch given during the repair process after a vaginal birth, supposedly to tighten the vagina for increased pleasure of a male sexual partner."

I didn't need that stitch to be "tight" for my first husband due to his size. That stitch caused us to not be able to have sex (PIV anyway) until it was corrected.

And this from the article just above:

“The fact that there is even a practice called the husband stitch is a perfect example of the intersection of the objectification of women’s bodies and healthcare. As much as we try to remove the sexualization of women from appropriate obstetric care, of course the patriarchy is going to find its way in there,” Tillman told Healthline. 

My first husband and I decided against going anything or going after them for that, but in hindsight we should have told them they had to cover 100% of the costs of the procedure to undo what they did to me without my knowledge or consent.

While my first husband's size factored into this for both of us, that's beside the point.

The real point is that doctors shouldn't do something for a patient that they don't want, don't know about, haven't been told about etc.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Joe blow said:


> My wife doesn't initiate sex with me but she'll sleep naked and give me access to her if "I" wanna have sex.


Wow, everyone missed it as I am guessing we were distracted by the 50 pound dildo.

How many folks here have a wife that gets in bed every night naked and offers unlimited access to for sex? (sounds of crickets chirping as everyone ponders how to answer) 

The OP says she doesn't initiate? Hello!


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## A18S37K14H18 (Dec 14, 2021)

badsanta said:


> The OP says she doesn't initiate? Hello!


That is NOT initiating.

There is a huge difference between telling your partner/spouse that they will have sex with you if they want to vs. them actually coming up to their partner and initiating it with them.

Since you aren't seeing it this way, let's use an example that has nothing to do with sex.

A husband tells his wife if she wants to go out to eat or to go shopping that he'll go with her if she wants him to.

The wife WANTS her husband to come to her and say do you want to go out to such and such for dinner tonight?

If the wife has to initiate this each time, it gets tiring. She wants her husband to "initiate" taking her out to eat, or to the mall, or to a show etc.

This really isn't that complicated.

If what OP says is true, she isn't initiating.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

A18S37K14H18 said:


> This really isn't that complicated.
> 
> If what OP says is true, she isn't initiating.


One of my favorite moves is to get into bed naked and tell my wife that I am not in the mood but that she can use my body for sex if she wants!

First thing she will do is reach down and grab me to check and see if I am telling the truth. At some point she will continue checking vigorously. stare deep into my eyes and say, "hello Pinocchio!" I tell her to stop it and she jumps on top of me. 

Now that doesn't work every time and at some point it would get lame if I overused it. But HELLO, I knew very well what I was doing.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

badsanta said:


> Wow, everyone missed it as I am guessing we were distracted by the 50 pound dildo.
> 
> How many folks here have a wife that gets in bed every night naked and offers unlimited access to for sex? (sounds of crickets chirping as everyone ponders how to answer)
> 
> The OP says she doesn't initiate? Hello!


My husband has a wife who comes to bed naked, doesn't turn him down and initiates. But that does help the guy who is feeling insecure. Basically his feelings are hurt. So while it is about sex it isn't about lack of sex.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Anastasia6 said:


> My husband has a wife who comes to bed naked, doesn't turn him down and initiates. But that does help the guy who is feeling insecure. Basically his feelings are hurt. So while it is about sex it isn't about lack of sex.


Mine goes to be naked...


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Anastasia6 said:


> My husband has a wife who comes to bed naked, doesn't turn him down and initiates. But that does help the guy who is feeling insecure. Basically his feelings are hurt. So while it is about sex it isn't about lack of sex.


Yes the OP is struggling with his self confidence but that is not the wife's responsibility (unless he is codependent). 

Sure a spouse can help build or destroy someone's ego. But generally speaking he needs to keep himself together even when she can't to form the emotional bedrock of the marriage. If he can't keep himself together then that is like building your house on the sand. The relationship will get washed away in the next thunderstorm or two.


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## ciuleandra (Aug 29, 2020)

I think your wife should stop watching porn because, in the future, she will start expecting what she saw on her phone screen from you. My wife and I had this problem, and we didn't know what to do. Only I didn't want to have sex with her. She did not excite me and decided to seek advice from my friend, who advised me to take a drug to increase potency. I hesitated for a long time, but there was nothing else for me to do. After that, my wife was delighted


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## Jacint (Feb 5, 2015)

Joe blow said:


> My wife doesn't initiate sex with me but she'll sleep naked and give me access to her if "I" wanna have sex. She never appears or acts horny but if i look in her phone i see she watches porn when i leave out the house. She prefers big *** porn. I'm about 5.5 inches and not too thick. We've went to toy stores and she's picked out one that's about 4x my size. When we used it I've never seen her as wet and creamy as i did with that toy but she acted like she didn't like it. I think she's not sexually attracted to me bcuz of my *** size. She doesn't *** me or suck my *** on her own, but she will do it without complaint if i ask. I just don't like that i have to ask. She'll lay naked in bed with me all day but won't touch me. Then when i leave she's watches big *** porn (big black ***s.com) etc, and masterbates. I think she wants a bigger ** and that's why there's no sexual interest. I don't know if there's a way to fix this but it sucks. I've never had this with any other women b4 her. She gave birth to 3 babies that weighed between 8lbs 10oz and 9lbs 4oz and her vagina never went back to b4. Her hole literally sits open if u look at it so i think that plays a part. I'm thinking of getting penuma to increase my size. Idk. I'm confused tho. She not sexually attracted to me and it bothers tf outta me.


If having had 3 kids widened her vj, I'd look at vj surgical reconstruction.


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