# Will just oral sex satisfy a woman long term?



## FromNeptune (Apr 22, 2008)

At my age and other reasons, I have a bad case of erectile dysfunction. I am going to get serious about losing weight which will help improve the ED and take better care of other conditions requiring medication. For now our time with sex is my giving her oral sex which I believe she enjoys. I do this willingly knowing that I will not have any release or relief, i.e. no climax. Just can't get hard at all. As we engage in foreplay and she becomes arouse, before I had ED, she would quickly reach for my hard member. But now as she still reaches, it is not there, too small and her arm is not long enough to get it.
This is a subjective question and is probably different with every woman. Question: How long can a woman be satisfied with just oral sex and no intercourse? Will she grow tired of only oral sex which now is good but in time will she become bored and want to be entered which I can't do. At least not now.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

FromNeptune said:


> At my age and other reasons, I have a bad case of erectile dysfunction. I am going to get serious about losing weight which will help improve the ED and take better care of other conditions requiring medication. For now our time with sex is my giving her oral sex which I believe she enjoys. I do this willingly knowing that I will not have any release or relief, i.e. no climax. Just can't get hard at all. As we engage in foreplay and she becomes arouse, before I had ED, she would quickly reach for my hard member. But now as she still reaches, it is not there, too small and her arm is not long enough to get it.
> This is a subjective question and is probably different with every woman. Question: How long can a woman be satisfied with just oral sex and no intercourse? Will she grow tired of only oral sex which now is good but in time will she become bored and want to be entered which I can't do. At least not now.


if she orals you the c0ck still does not come alive?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good morning fromneptune
You are limited to oral sex. You have fingers, there are sex toys etc.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

A lot of oral sex is good.

You might want to introduce a toy as penetration is important for a woman. 

Talk to your wife, ask her to tell you what she needs.


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## bestwife (May 10, 2014)

Yes, I like it personally, its more relaxing for me, ofcourse as EleGirl said: Penetration need every woman


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

some women love oral, some women do not. Oral sex combined with a dildo or your fingers inside can be very stimulating, some women would find that an acceptable alternative.

as an alternative from time to time, some women can orgasm just from breast/nipple massage.

But, sadly, there are some women that really can only truly orgasm with PIV sex. It sounds like your SO is not in that camp, so you can be happy.

There are so many other types of sex than PIV sex. There are warehouses full of sex toys you can buy. you can try lite bondage, she can use sex toys on you, you can try role playing (which is more erotic than physical), slow full body massages for her.

But have you really tried all there is available to you for the ED. Viagra/Cialis/Levitra is just a prescription away. There are vacuum pumps for the penis, and if you slip on a rubber ring when you are erect the erection can last long enough for sex. There are Trimix injections. There are hollow penis-like sleeves you can wear. Even if your junk is completely shot, they can implant a pump/bladder in your penis that makes you rock hard. So it is NOT game-over! 

Go see a good ED doctor and see what he can do.


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## Rayloveshiswife (Sep 25, 2013)

Sexual intimacy is not just PIV intercourse, though that is usually the end result. You and wife can be sexual doing any number of things. The key is that you are both satisfied sexually. It sounds like your wife is understanding of your health issues and has made changes to deal with them. I would just make sure to talk to her to make sure she is satisfied as much as she can be and allow her to voice any concerns or complaints that she has. 

I'd also make sure that you continued to work on the issues that put you in this place in hopes that you can eventually put it behind you. Your wife will be more understanding and accomadatting is she sees you trying to change the situation.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Happilymarried25 (Mar 19, 2014)

My husband is in the same position as you. He has had ED for around 8 years now. He too is loosing weight. His Dr says that it's caused by his diabetes. He enjoys giving me oral sex and I enjoy receiving it. I'm able to O. We also enjoy kissing, and using his fingers. We don't use toys but that is an option. We also cuddle every night to keep that connection.

Every women is different so I can't say that she will forever be satisfied never having intercourse. I have accepted our situation and I'm fine with it. He is looking at other options. I know he is frustrated with the situation. Have you tried taking Viagra or Cialis?


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

murphy5 said:


> some women love oral, some women do not. Oral sex combined with a dildo or your fingers inside can be very stimulating, some women would find that an acceptable alternative.
> 
> as an alternative from time to time, some women can orgasm just from breast/nipple massage.
> 
> ...


Could low t.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

_Will just oral sex satisfy a woman long term?
_

Not me.


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## roostr (Oct 20, 2012)

Get to the doctor asap brother, that's an awful thing to go through, gl2u


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## imtamnew (May 13, 2013)

What do lesbians do?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## omgitselaine (Sep 5, 2013)

Like its been said " each woman has her preference " ... oral orgasms are very nice but even after several O's I would by then need the " real " deal ummmm so to speak


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## Coldie (Jan 2, 2014)

Men can have orgasms without erections. Lay on their back, no erection, and using a vibrator on the underside of their head (gland). Basically, the same as a woman would have an orgasm without a hard erect penis to pull. There are other ways as well. You can also get it from dry humping, and in fact, easier to orgasm without an erection. The same as a woman grinding herself on a pillow or leg.

Not saying he know how to do this, but it's possible. The clit and the head is the same. Just takes patience.


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## Coldie (Jan 2, 2014)

Regarding sex. 65% of women (if not more) do not get off from pure penetration. They need clitoris stimulation as well. Get a toy or a strap on and you can do everything you've ever done. You can even get a toy that goes over your own member soft.


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## jasmine9 (Jul 18, 2014)

I like oral but an O from that is not satisfying. I need penetration to feel fulfilled. Do you have toys?


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## Bobby5000 (Oct 19, 2011)

I tend to think if the relationship is good, that will be fine for the average wife. As others point out, if there is a way of asking about something else it makes sense, but don't beat yourself up worrying.


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## fr33yay0 (Aug 9, 2014)

I would try to introduce toys and other items. You can still please a girl... at least while dealing with your weight/ED issues.


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## firebelly1 (Jul 9, 2013)

Depends on what you mean by long-term. I could go a year or two without it if we were doing other things (the strap-on seems like a good idea.) But multiple years and I would feel like I'm missing something. Not enough to leave the relationship, but yes, it would wear on me.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

My Gf prefers oral over everything so she would probably look at this as a gift from the gods lol

But I imagine that women are different so your mileage may vary


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I'm in the no camp. Oral sex is great, but nothing take the place of a good pounding!

I suggest a quality dildo until your weight loss goals allow you to achieve an erection again.


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## FromNeptune (Apr 22, 2008)

treyvion said:


> if she orals you the c0ck still does not come alive?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


She does not do oral sex only receives it.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

Coldie said:


> They need clitoris stimulation as well.


If you have the right moves you can do that. It intriguing though that this thread is almost the opposite on guys complaining about a lack of receiving oral sex.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

FromNeptune said:


> She does not do oral sex only receives it.


Thats not healthy for your psyche, creating a power imbalance that will erode the confidence and kill your erections. Many of the "man eater" attacks do work by the way.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Bobby5000 (Oct 19, 2011)

I think in many happy marriages, the woman would accommodate the man and realize he was doing his best. A true story. I had a medical condition which required surgery with one of the potential adverse outcomes inability to have sex. My wife was present at the meeting and I am expecting her to say No, No, No, isn't there some other way to do this, can't we try something else. Instead, about a second later, she then asked about post-operative care and a variety of other subjects. While we have a healthy love life, I got the impression that other things were more important and various women have said that in these forums.


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## BostonBruins32 (Nov 2, 2013)

I think oral only would get you close enough to satisfy her. I would suggest other things like fingers and or toys.

The biggest thing here is that you're willing to do what it takes. She'll appreciate that alone.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

intheory said:


> What does this mean:scratchhead: (I'm sincerely asking)


There are things a woman can say or do to a man to make him feel less of a man. Being expected to give her oral without being able to expect to recieve it is humbling. It would make a man feel powerless over time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## doobie (Apr 15, 2014)

FromNeptune - your wife is a lucky woman. My husband has no interest in sex and seems to have a certain amount of ED with the result that we are in a sexless marriage (despite the fact that we have only been married 18 months). Because my husband has no sex drive we have no sex life - I have pointed out to him on several occasions that I'm not willing to live without sex for the rest of my life and he seems to take that on board, but does nothing about the situation. If my husband were offering to pleasure me in ways other than PIV, I would jump at the chance and consider it my lucky day.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

treyvion said:


> There are things a woman can say or do to a man to make him feel less of a man. Being expected to give her oral without being able to expect to recieve it is humbling. It would make a man feel powerless over time.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Trey, you gotta stay away from those stupid red pill sites.

Your above statement is absolutely true! True for both men and women.

Unfortunately, we don't often hear of men being *told* to go down while she has no intention of returning the favor. What we do hear is men who love to go down and do so happily, but their wife isn't as enthused as he is and really isn't enthused about going down on him herself.

So it's not apples to apples. And considering the OP wasn't even asking about getting himself off, just his wife, how did this twist enter the thread in the first place?

ETA: ladies, anyone know of a couple trying to avoid intercourse and the woman says, "hey would you just lick me a while and then you can drop me off at home?"


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

There's a big difference between you having no interest in sex or your wife's needs, and having a medical condition or disability that makes PIV sex unachievable. That's where love comes into the picture.

I too don't feel like we've "really" had sex unless there's been PIV. Penetration is very important to a lot of women from an intimacy point of view...it's very fulfilling and is as close as you can possibly get to another human being.

That said, if my darling husband became unable to have sex through no fault of his own, we would find other ways to be intimate, and I certainly wouldn't blame him, nor him me if it were reversed.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

frusdil said:


> There's a big difference between you having no interest in sex or your wife's needs, and having a medical condition or disability that makes PIV sex unachievable. That's where love comes into the picture.
> 
> I too don't feel like we've "really" had sex unless there's been PIV. Penetration is very important to a lot of women from an intimacy point of view...it's very fulfilling and is as close as you can possibly get to another human being.
> 
> That said, if my darling husband became unable to have sex through no fault of his own, we would find other ways to be intimate, and I certainly wouldn't blame him, nor him me if it were reversed.


What kind of medical conditions can completely block out PIV?

And are they treatable?

I know of several that can make PIV painful or difficult, but not completely impossible:

1. Vaginimus
2. Flipped uterus
3. Short vaginal barrel

With #1, the penetration can be extremely painful, painful enough to shut off sex drive and desire.

With #2 contact of the cervix of any kind will be a no go and a desire killer

#3, your depth is limited. But heck, some of the sexless would be happy to even have 3" of PIV sex.

In the case PIV is out, would a woman substitute oral, or occasionally attempt anal? I know it's up to her, just want to hear discussion.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

intheory said:


> That is quite profound, actually. Thank-you for answering.


Certain words, certain mannerisms, certain requests towards a male who loves you will get through his subconscious and minimize his feelings of well being, even minimize and shrink his masculinity.

If he doesn't care, or doesn't love the woman it might not get in as easy. 

Likewise there are little levers and switches inside your hubs-man's mind that can do the exact opposite, can increase feelings of well being, increase feelings of masculinity, increase confidence in self.



intheory said:


> Fwiw, I don't feel less of a woman, or powerless, because H doesn't return oral sex equally.
> 
> Oral sex only gives me (what I've come to think of as) "low calorie" orgasms. They're nice; but nothing I dream of or hanker for.
> 
> Everyone is so different; it's very interesting.


I know that's how it feels for me. It's not the first time. I have enough of "me" built up. But if someone made their expectation that you are only good enough to pleasure them, and your pleasure is not important, even if you don't believe it, it will erode your view of self if you go along with it...


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## onedge (Nov 27, 2013)

Has your wife ever told you why she doesn't reciprocate? I really don't do much in the oral department to give back but I do have a reason and not just because I am being self centered. My dh has ED issues too. He loves receiving oral but too much stimulation pre intercourse almost always guarantees loss of erection when the time comes. I touch, caress, fondle, but try to avoid overstimulating his most sensitive area down there. It isn't because I don't want to reciprocate but I know if I do his chance of PIV just went down. 

It makes me feel guilty receiving more but honestly losing the erection mid game is a psyche killer for him too. He hasn't been able to orgasm PIV for years but loves the feeling while it lasts. So it kind of comes down to either oral for him or PIV for him. It sucks having to make that choice but it is what it is. When that numb feeling starts to set in then all the attention shifts so he can have a happy ending but unfortunately oral at that time won't do much due to loss of sensitivity.


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## Stretch (Dec 12, 2012)

Stop suffering with ED folks.

Try the pills, I suggest Cialis as the best. If the pills don't work, got to a Urologist and get a prescription for the Tri-Mix injections.

The Tri-mix is 99% effective, trust me I know!

Stretch


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

FromNeptune said:


> But now as she still reaches, it is not there, too small and her arm is not long enough to get it.


Does she have really short arms or something?


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

intheory said:


> Are you getting the impression that women are not as likely to be happy with just oral sex; whereas men would be?.


I don't think men would be either. I know I wouldn't be.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

treyvion said:


> What kind of medical conditions can completely block out PIV?
> 
> And are they treatable?
> 
> ...


There's lots of things that could make PIV impossible for a woman. The conditions you described, as well as things like severe thrush, eczema, trauma from childbirth and probably a hundred others too 

Every woman is different - some I'm sure would give their man oral, use their hands, some would do anal. Others still wouldn't. I think that a husband or wife in this situation, where it's a potentially long term issue, should do everything in their power to meet the needs of their spouse, but of course no one should do something they're not comfortable with.


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## Faeleaf (Jul 22, 2014)

There was a study years ago that showed women whose husbands had micro-penises reported higher levels of sexual satisfaction than average for married women. 

These guys weren't just a little on the short side. We're talking extremely small. And their wives were happier and more sexually satisfied.

I'm going out on a limb to say the higher sexual satisfaction wasn't because micro-penises are magic. I think it more likely that a man who KNOWS his penis isn't magic, who knows he's going to have to really work to satisfy his lady, will be much better off in the long run. As will his wife.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Faeleaf said:


> There was a study years ago that showed women whose husbands had micro-penises reported higher levels of sexual satisfaction than average for married women.
> 
> These guys weren't just a little on the short side. We're talking extremely small. And their wives were happier and more sexually satisfied.
> 
> I'm going out on a limb to say the higher sexual satisfaction wasn't because micro-penises are magic. I think it more likely that a man who KNOWS his penis isn't magic, who knows he's going to have to really work to satisfy his lady, will be much better off in the long run. As will his wife.


"micro's", wow. You gotta show that study and others simular. Will end many of the smaller guys fears.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

FromNeptune said:


> At my age and other reasons, I have a bad case of erectile dysfunction. I am going to get serious about losing weight which will help improve the ED and take better care of other conditions requiring medication. For now our time with sex is my giving her oral sex which I believe she enjoys. I do this willingly knowing that I will not have any release or relief, i.e. no climax. Just can't get hard at all. As we engage in foreplay and she becomes arouse, before I had ED, she would quickly reach for my hard member. But now as she still reaches, it is not there, too small and her arm is not long enough to get it.
> This is a subjective question and is probably different with every woman. Question: How long can a woman be satisfied with just oral sex and no intercourse? Will she grow tired of only oral sex which now is good but in time will she become bored and want to be entered which I can't do. At least not now.


FromNeptune,
I think men and women alike want to feel desired. Sometimes ED can't be helped but it sends a bad signal to your partner if they think you have any way to regain function. In other words, if losing weight and getting and shape will help the problem when you better do that.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

I guess many men shrink up and hide when they get ED. I personally do not understand that at all. There are sooo many other ways to have sex with your woman....dildos, vibrators, oral, role play, bondage.....the list is too long to type. PIV sex is nice, but try all the others if you are having ED and see if she is into something else.

And I do second the notion of medicine for it. There are pills, there are injections, there are vacuum erection devices and rubber rings....


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Faeleaf said:


> There was a study years ago that showed women whose husbands had micro-penises reported higher levels of sexual satisfaction than average for married women.
> 
> These guys weren't just a little on the short side. We're talking extremely small. And their wives were happier and more sexually satisfied.
> 
> I'm going out on a limb to say the higher sexual satisfaction wasn't because micro-penises are magic. I think it more likely that a man who KNOWS his penis isn't magic, who knows he's going to have to really work to satisfy his lady, will be much better off in the long run. As will his wife.



Necessity is the mother of all invention. I imagine if you had a micro penis you would have to learn to please your partner in various ways other than PIV. 

Won't go over with the crowd who think all men are selfish lovers and can't learn to become good loving partners.....but I agree with you


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

Wolf1974 said:


> Necessity is the mother of all invention. I imagine if you had a micro penis you would have to learn to please your partner in various ways other than PIV.
> 
> Won't go over with the crowd who think all men are selfish lovers and can't learn to become good loving partners.....but I agree with you


Yeah, that. AND the mink coats and sports car he had to buy his wife did not hurt either.:rofl:


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