# How to genuinely suggest just being friends?



## sd212 (Feb 24, 2012)

Anyone ever done this? Or have any thoughts (specifically from a female point of view) on how I could genuinely suggest that we just be friends?

I've been on four dates with a woman and she is fantastic. She checks all the boxes. It just isn't a fireworks chemistry situation. I've realized I'm not properly emotionally available for her and she deserves better than what I'm able to give her. I'm not really looking to drag out the situation where I _hope_ to fall in love. I'm just too afraid it will cause pain.

Anyhow, I really think this could be an awesome friendship. I would very much like her to be a good friend. I can't think of any way I can suggest this without her thinking I'm just trying to stop seeing her and being a douche.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

''I think you're great, but just feel better if we remain as friends.''

If she never speaks to you again...it's only been 4 dates.  If she wants to be friends, awesome. If she thinks you're a douche, that would be weird considering the purpose of dating is to determine if there is a 'connection.' There isn't, so...you just wanna be friends. I say, just be open and honest.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

SD212 I just had a similar thread going in the general relationship forum, "Can't we just be friends?"

From the feedback on my thread it seems the odds of a woman and man ever just being "friends" are slim to none. One party or the other is always going to want and be hoping for more, eventually someone ends up getting their feelings hurt. I'm not sure I fully agree with that but that was the general consensus. 

The best you can do is just be honest, tell her you like spending time together but the romantic spark just isn't there. If she agrees to keep seeing you as friends make sure you don't send out mixed signals, no flirting or intimate encounters.

Good luck.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Agree with @Cooper and know that it will be uncomfortable around her for some time to come.

Edit: I sometimes wonder if women ask to be friends just to drive some suitor away, but that's another thread. As suggested by that thread, they know it's not possible.


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## sd212 (Feb 24, 2012)

Thanks everyone. Ugh. I'm afraid I agree that it will be unlikely to work out very well because if I were on the other side, Id never believe it wasn't a line.
Also, @Cooper, thanks for the heads up on the other thread. I'll check it out.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Duck and run. The moment you mention friends she'll probably try and scratch your eyes out!!!! :surprise:


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Have lots and lots of hot sex while feeding her chocolate with a rose in your teeth and reading poetry.

Friends these days.....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

Remaining friends with you could hurt her chances for romantic relationships with other men. How many men write here disapproving of their SO's male friendships? 

Let her go.....Let her gooooooo!


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Chances are it will. Hey, that's another song.


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## SurpriseMyself (Nov 14, 2009)

sd212 said:


> Anyone ever done this? Or have any thoughts (specifically from a female point of view) on how I could genuinely suggest that we just be friends?
> 
> I've been on four dates with a woman and she is fantastic. She checks all the boxes. It just isn't a fireworks chemistry situation. I've realized I'm not properly emotionally available for her and she deserves better than what I'm able to give her. I'm not really looking to drag out the situation where I _hope_ to fall in love. I'm just too afraid it will cause pain.
> 
> Anyhow, I really think this could be an awesome friendship. I would very much like her to be a good friend. I can't think of any way I can suggest this without her thinking I'm just trying to stop seeing her and being a douche.


I have a male friend that I think of as a brother. I consider that a compliment and it also clearly frames our relationship. Can you say that to her? That she is great and you feel like she's a close sister. Those people are ones you want in your life. Etc...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Did you have sex with her on any of these dates?

I'm obtuse and too ambiguous sometimes.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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