# People bailing on relationships over stupid issues



## xMadame (Sep 1, 2016)

Ok. I am getting sick of looking at threads of people willing to dump their partner over the stupidest things.

Not to be specific, but crap like getting therapy because they cannot agree over what to name the darn dog.

So irritating. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

What is stupid to you might not be stupid to others? Imagine dumping a quality woman simply because she has a tattoo. 

We are all free to choose our mates based on our values.

Btw, it never was about the dog's name but a stubborn unwillingness to communicate and compromise.


----------



## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Very rarely is it over what you are calling stupid crap, until the very end. Most times the issues evolve over time, and then one day something finally snaps. It may be something as trivial as a dogs name, or leaving the toilet seat up, or too much pepper on the fish. 

It takes a lot of accumulated crap to get to the point where you end a relationship over one last stupid piece of crap.


----------



## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

xMadame said:


> Ok. I am getting sick of looking at threads of people willing to dump their partner over the stupidest things.
> 
> Not to be specific, but crap like getting therapy because they cannot agree over what to name the darn dog.
> 
> ...


The good news is you can just move on and not continue to read those irritating threads.

You should try it.


----------



## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

First world problems can seem infantile. I've read some that are truly sad and made me wonder how they thought they were ready for a committed, long term relationship like marriage. Maybe I was the same when I married the first time? That's why I don't usually comment on them. When I can't stand it anymore, I sometimes am a bit over the top.

There was a thread here long ago in social. I was once a part of it. Some of the comments were of the nature of this thread. It was deleted long ago. Sometimes I miss it. There was good conversation there and sometimes posting wars. It was funny, sad, animated, empathic, insensitive, and incited anger. 

It was amazing.


----------



## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Its a good question but I think it really is the case that people view different things as important. Hobbies, sports, sex, jobs, family, money, social status, pets, weight etc. Each could be vital to one person and meaningless to another. Of course then it may be that the relationship had problems to begin with.


----------



## Davidmidwest (Nov 22, 2016)

Well,
When every man or woman has gone through Gottmans four horseman of a death of a marriage. When you get to contempt it is over...People are at that stage. Most are unaware of this and lost the opportunity to adjust or get therapy. Society has us working too much,
paying bills vs. saving some money to spend on each other and having time with each other to create loving memories. No regular loving memories to build on, WTF, if one party beats the dead-horse for a need met and the other don't listen and provide the love language. Nothing you can do, but fight or leave. Once one is at the contempt stage a divorce is inevitable with no opportunity to repair. 

You are o.k. in my book with your opinion! We are all frustrated because we love, want to be loved, and hope the same for everybody else.


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Davidmidwest said:


> Well,
> When every man or woman has gone through Gottmans four horseman of a death of a marriage. *When you get to contempt it is over.*..People are at that stage. Most are unaware of this and lost the opportunity to adjust or get therapy.
> 
> Society has us working too much, paying bills vs. saving some money to spend on each other and having time with each other to create loving memories. No regular loving memories to build on, WTF, if one party beats the dead-horse for a need met and the other don't listen and provide the love language. Nothing you can do, but fight or leave. Once one is at the contempt stage a divorce is inevitable with no opportunity to repair.
> ...










...I so agree with the part about taking more time to create those bonding memories along the way...it's about investing in each other.. fertilizing our own gardens -so to speak...

 The Four Horsemen: Recognizing Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling



> *** *Criticism*- the act of passing judgment as to the merits of another / faultfinding. "Criticism is “really a way of fueling the attack, so you state your complaint as an attack on the other person.” ... “It’s not constructive, it winds up leading to an escalation of the conflict" ......No Criticism Please!
> 
> *** *Contempt*... When we communicate in this state, we are truly meaning - treating others with disrespect, mocking them with sarcasm, ridicule, name-calling, mimicking, and/or body language such as eye-rolling. The target of contempt is made to feel despised and worthless.....The Danger of Contempt
> 
> ...


----------



## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

People are weak, self focused, and lack substance these days. That's the problem 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

I tend to agree with this thread...not just here on TAM but irl too. 

While I agree that it's not the pepper or the dirty cup on the bench or the wet towel on the floor that ended the marriage, a lot of people these days are so blase about their marriage/long term relationship.

Attracted to a pretty girl at work? Have an affair! Feeling a bit stale in the marriage? Feel your husband works too hard/long? Leave! Fresh start - it's all about personal happiness right? Kids are resilient, they'll adapt, they'll get over it! To he!l with the vows you made to your spouse, pfffft...vows schmows.

Again, that's not just here on TAM, but everywhere and it's a really sad reflection on society today.


----------



## john117 (May 20, 2013)

xMadame said:


> Ok. I am getting sick of looking at threads of people willing to dump their partner over the stupidest things.
> 
> Not to be specific, but crap like getting therapy because they cannot agree over what to name the darn dog.


The cat was named after renowned architect Mies van der Rohe... 

Keep in mind that it's like an iceberg. It's what you don't see. What you see is often silly (who names a cat Jony Ive) but there's 90% of stuff you don't see below the waterline.


----------



## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

xMadame said:


> Ok. I am getting sick of looking at threads of people willing to dump their partner over the stupidest things.
> 
> Not to be specific, but crap like getting therapy because they cannot agree over what to name the darn dog.
> 
> So irritating.


Sometimes people will argue and complain about mundane things in a relationship because they are in need of attention. 

I'm now freaking out that by responding to this thread that I might be crying out for attention.



.


.


.


.


.


(awkwardly silent)


.


.


.


.


.


.


.

Badsanta


----------



## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Was just enjoying some funny name tags that people put on their dogs. This one is my favorite!


----------



## Hellomynameis (Dec 16, 2016)

Our next door neighbor divorced her husband supposedly because his dog bit her and he refused to get rid of it afterward even though she was afraid of it.

Considering she's had affairs with at least 3 married men since she moved in here, I kind of doubt the dog was the real reason for the divorce.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Hellomynameis said:


> Our next door neighbor divorced her husband supposedly because his dog bit her and he refused to get rid of it afterward even though she was afraid of it.
> 
> Considering she's had affairs with at least 3 married men since she moved in here, I kind of doubt the dog was the real reason for the divorce.


The dog bit her because it couldn't cope with the stench of betrayal that hung over her.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

xMadame said:


> Ok. I am getting sick of looking at threads of people willing to dump their partner over the stupidest things.
> 
> Not to be specific, but crap like getting therapy because they cannot agree over what to name the darn dog.
> 
> ...


One person's "stupidest thing" might be someone else's last straw.


----------



## ihatethis (Oct 17, 2013)

We live in a world where people have a sense of entitlement and immediate gratification and that's the problem. Someone is in a relationship and if they're spouse doesn't do chores (for example) right when the other spouse expects them to be done, the upset spouse will wander and see what's out there. Most people are in the mindset of "the grass is greener on the other side and if it isn't right away, there's always the internet to find someone new." I agree with the OP that on this forum, I find many people are giving up or *****ing about small things (according to the OP's) and making them consider divorce.

It's sad.


----------



## Hellomynameis (Dec 16, 2016)

MattMatt said:


> The dog bit her because it couldn't cope with the stench of betrayal that hung over her.


I don't approve of her behavior post divorce but considering her ex husband was a physically abusive druggie I don't blame her for leaving him either. I know both of their kids and they hate their father and won't have anything to do with him.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Hellomynameis said:


> I don't approve of her behavior post divorce but considering her ex husband was a physically abusive druggie I don't blame her for leaving him either. I know both of their kids and they hate their father and won't have anything to do with him.


Thanks for the clarification.

It's always better when we have all the facts.


----------



## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

Many people do not want to put forth the required effort to effectively maintain a strong LTR

once the honeymoon stage is over. Now with all these dating sites, many will date but want FWB

just in case..... something better comes along, aka afraid of missing out.

It reminds me of a "professional student," one who has 317 credit hours, no degree but 85% of the way

to 14 degrees. "What if I like this major more?" Have a friend who has been on the sites for

a good two years, gripes they can't find someone to date exclusively, but I can recall at 

least a dozen times "I think I have met that special someone," ..... and after a couple months "didn't work"

I started asking WTF keeps happening...... I got this -I would miss the attention too much-

Sad...... beyond sad


----------

