# should my wife had been told?



## allisterfiend

recently, I had a session with a personal therapist who also works in the same office with my wife.
At any rate during an argument the other night my wife brought up some things that I thought should have been between me and the therapist. It was personal medical information not therapy related.
I did not appreciate my wife using this information against me and the fact that she outright told me the Dr. Told her felt like a serious violation to our Dr./Patient relatonship.
I understand they work together and are friends but does that give her the right to give my wife ammo to use against me?


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## jayde

No, no info should have been shared IMHO. I think also that you both should be seeking help outside her office (even if they are professionals). In my case, my wife's friend/co-worker, a school guidance counsellor (for my kids), referred her to a therapist (her friend), who became our MC (bad idea - he should have figured that out), who started therapy with our daughter . . . and it all felt a bit too close and clubby for a healthy therapeutic environment. Call me paranoid, but I felt it was 'all of them' against me. Guess who 'won'.


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## COGypsy

It was either an ethical violation by the therapist or by your wife. If the therapist didn't share then info, then your wife accessed your file, if it's all the same office. Either way, it's probably a HIPAA violation of your patient privacy. If you ask to see your file, you probably signed a document about your rights under this act (especially if this is an insurance-reimbursable service). If that document is in there, then one or the other of them has made a serious legal and ethical error that can get them in pretty hot water.


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## allisterfiend

COGypsy said:


> It was either an ethical violation by the therapist or by your wife. If the therapist didn't share then info, then your wife accessed your file, if it's all the same office. Either way, it's probably a HIPAA violation of your patient privacy. If you ask to see your file, you probably signed a document about your rights under this act (especially if this is an insurance-reimbursable service). If that document is in there, then one or the other of them has made a serious legal and ethical error that can get them in pretty hot water.


Talk about a rock and a hard place. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I should do? I had an appointment with this same Dr on the 19th of this month but cancelled it. (Im taking a leave of absence to Alaska) 

I did however tell my wife that I no longer feel comptorble with this therapist because of the violation.

So what do I do? File a formal complaint with HIPAA and take the chnce on my wife loosing her job and Im pretty sure that would be the straw that breaks the camels back and there would be NO repairing my marriage as she would see it as an attack on her and her friend.

My wife does the billing for the outpaitent behavoral health office here and they are pretty good friends. PLUS...I know her husband fairly well and he is a pretty nice guy who buys alot of guns from the store I help out part time just for kicks.(6 years and I have never seen a check from them ha ha). It is just an awkward situation.


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## COGypsy

Well if you don't know how the violation occurred--whether your wife read the file or she and the therapist were inappropriately chatting--then a complaint isn't likely to go past a warning to the practice at most.

However, realistically, it's probably just better to take your business someplace else that's a bit less....incestuous and consider it a lesson learned. If you're using insurance or any third party payor to cover the cost of the sessions, your wife will always have a somewhat justifiable reason to "review" your file for "billing purposes". And if everybody knows everybody in a small office, it can be too easy to let stuff slip and too hard to re-assign duties to keep your wife out of your case file. Especially if things get messy down the line.


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## Dellia

I'd be furious and wouldn't dare trust going back to the same therapist!


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## UCanTalk

its a violation of your trust and a breech of confidentiality. if it were me i would n ot waste energy in complaining but i would find a new therapist.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl

COGypsy said:


> It was either an ethical violation by the therapist or by your wife. If the therapist didn't share then info, then your wife accessed your file, if it's all the same office. Either way, it's probably a HIPAA violation of your patient privacy. If you ask to see your file, you probably signed a document about your rights under this act (especially if this is an insurance-reimbursable service). If that document is in there, then one or the other of them has made a serious legal and ethical error that can get them in pretty hot water.


:iagree:


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno

Unless there are computerized records or paper logs of access to medical records, you're out of luck.

BUT you learned something from this that you didn't learn in the session itself. You and your wife have poor boundaries. Nobody with good boundaries would have put themselves collectively in this position. #1 the doctor and office manager ought to have bowed out and referred, #2 your wife working in that office ought to have said something if doctor or office manager didn't...about inappropriate situation, #3 you willingly went there expecting your records and conversations to be kept private...unless you live in a void, you've got to be aware that there is a basis for HIPPA laws, they don't get created without a need, the need comes from human nature.

Bottom line: situation involves having created attractive nuisance.
Better judgement and creating better boundaries would be advisable.

I think your wife needs to get a different job, if she's working with a doctor that is that clueless, but you know what, she might be just trying to pin blame on the doctor...it's not like he or she is going to walk up to someone and offer up info...there is being asked...there is also not being asked and then saying, well, they wrote in the records and made sure I had access to it, so that's the same as telling me. In other words, this 'told' could be a sort of delusional 'told'. Really, find other therapy and you don't have to share any of it with your W. Therapy for individuals is really for individuals. That's a boundary.


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## river rat

The standard HIPPA form also includes a line stating to whom your medical information can be released. If you listed your wife on that line, then, technically, the therapist was within the law to discuss w/ your spouse. However, I still think that it was poor judgement, and I'd get another therapist.


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## Mavash.

I believe there is a reasonable expectation of privacy. No way in heck would I ever go to a therapist who also was good friends with my husband. Forget HIPPA rules I'm not taking any chances.


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