# messed up- how to get sexy man to pursue me again



## vertigo (Jun 3, 2010)

Oops- I posted in ladies lounge but maybe this is where I should post:

I accidentally started dating...met this man at a microbrew festival in June. Was INSTANTLY attracted to him. Emailed him and asked him out 2 weeks later. He emailed me back a month later. We went out--major sparks! OUr date was all talking for 6 hours (with beer).

I KNOW I AM NOT READY for a serious relationship, but could use a fling. So I broke some rules....like talked about sexy stuff on the first date and waited around for a kiss good night. Got it!

Then I did not text or call him after that...I let him pursue me. We finally go on a 2nd date, after his kids go back to their mom's (he has week on, week off custody) and after talking on the phone for a couple of times, for 2-3 hours each. I know from previous experience that there can be a great first date and then people move too fast and the 2nd date can be a let down.

Well, for our 2nd date, we went kayaking. I broke more rules by hinting about being ready for a fling but nothing serious, we BOTH talked about our exes...after kayaking we got some beer. 
He had not made any indication that he was feeling attracted to me, so I was thinking "great. Now I am in the friend zone." But when we sat down on the patio, he patted the bench next to him for me to sit there. Sigh.... I asked, flirty "aren't you going to kiss me?" He said "No." OUCH!!! 

Of course 2 minutes later, we were making out passionately! And that is how the date ended, 3 nights ago, making out. I was very forward in many ways, I know, I know. BUt I figured he would call me by now. I think I made it too easy for him, right? So is there anything I can do to get his interest back or do I let it go? Like if he calls, should I just let it go to voicemail?
That kind of thing.... 

(again, I totally know everything i did wrong- was trying to ensure that I was clear about what I was looking for! just being honest.)


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## lbell629 (May 10, 2010)

I say just wait for him to call him...didn't you say that you mentioned that you weren't looking for anything serious??


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## vertigo (Jun 3, 2010)

yes! Thank you...I did text him a few days later and he said he had a great time but was conflicted about his exgirlfriend and didn't want to pursue anyone until he resolved that issue.

A week after that text, he texts me and asks to talk. So we do, he said he has enjoyed both of our dates, very much, and the phone conversations. He is meeting with his exG next week (they were separated so she could get anger management counseling...red flag, buddy!) and would have a better idea after meeting her as to what he wants to do. I help him hash out pros and cons of getting back with her (I was objective) and by the end, said good luck and good night...but to give me a text or a call if he wants to go out sometime. (obviously if he doesn't get back with his exG!)


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