# Should I spend the night at my female co-workers house?



## Jack I (Nov 23, 2012)

Here's the dilemma.My female co-worker has been having a problem with her ex-husband.The other night he was banging on her door.He banged on the door for about five minutes,then starting kicking the door trying to get the door open.She is scared about the whole situation.She wants me to spend the night at her house for a couple of nights.I was worried about her but then I was wondering just how appropriate is this.My wife is on vacation with my mother-in-law and won't be back for a while.


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## healmetomcruise (Feb 5, 2014)

NO!!! She can get police surveillance. Do not go over there! Unless you want to wedge your marriage apart, back away. There's a line you don't cross and that is clear on the side of bad news.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

1. Have you talked to your wife about it?

2. Even though you absolutely need to talk to her about it, asking if you can is going to, at a minimum, raise some flags with your wife.

3. This guy might find you there and punch your ticket.

4. It puts you in a position where things can happen, besides getting your ticket punched by an angry husband. Proximity and high emotions with another woman? Recipe for disaster.

Advise her to get an RO and spend the night with family or friends.


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## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltfifpb8Nk1qc42hdo1_500.gif


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## Happily (Feb 6, 2014)

I understand there are extenuating circumstances, but I'm a little suspicious of any woman who tries to get a married man to spend the night. First of all, wouldn't it just aggravate him more to find a man there with her? Second, wouldn't it be safest to call the police? Doesn't she have any other friends, or even siblings? Couldn't she stay with relatives or friends for awhile until she either gets it straightened out or it blows over? There are just so many other options that it seems peculiar to go right to asking a married man to spend the night, especially knowing that his wife is away. 

But, I suppose, what it really comes down to is how your wife feels about the whole thing. Have you asked her? 

Personally, I would not be okay with my husband spending the night at a female co-worker's house, but if I were home, I'd happily invite her to stay at our house until she could get the matter resolved.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Jack I said:


> Here's the dilemma.My female co-worker has been having a problem with her ex-husband.The other night he was banging on her door.He banged on the door for about five minutes,then starting kicking the door trying to get the door open.She is scared about the whole situation.She wants me to spend the night at her house for a couple of nights.I was worried about her but then I was wondering just how appropriate is this.My wife is on vacation with her mother-in-law and won't be back for a while.


Of course it's inappropriate !
Unless of course, you're a gynecologist.
Ok just kidding.


The reality is that it's absolutely not appropriate on every level becauase you are putting your self at risk, and you are putting your marriage at risk.


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## MissFroggie (Sep 3, 2013)

Jack I said:


> Here's the dilemma.My female co-worker has been having a problem with her ex-husband.The other night he was banging on her door.He banged on the door for about five minutes,then starting kicking the door trying to get the door open.She is scared about the whole situation.She wants me to spend the night at her house for a couple of nights.I was worried about her but then I was wondering just how appropriate is this.My wife is on vacation with her mother-in-law and won't be back for a while.


If you have to ask then it isn't okay. Advise her to get a female friend (or two) to stay with her and inform the police BEFORE he even turns up so they're already aware of the problem if he does come back again. You are not the right person to do this and there are far too many reasons why you shouldn't go for me to list...unless you ask for them lol.

Edit: I'll add that she shouldn't go to a friend's house for a while either - she'll have to face it at some time and she can't just run and hide from it at a friend's forever. He could come back any time and unless she is about to move away she needs to deal with it so she can be relaxed in her home and unafraid of him turning up.


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## Jack I (Nov 23, 2012)

No,my wife and I haven't discussed it.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*I'll answer in only two words:* * Hell, No!*


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Heck ya! What could possibly go wrong?

No but seriously, have you had a blow to the head recently?


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

If my husband did this I would divorce him.

The fact you are even discussing marital problems with a female coworker is a problem - you should not even know about this in my opinion.

If you want to help her, take up a collection from everyone at your work for her to go stay in a hotel. ALONE. Because if YOU know about this, so should everyone else, otherwise you're skirting EA territory.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

Hold the phone.

OP, weren't you the guy who was upset about his wife seeing a male gynecologist? 

Considering that, on what f*cking planet does this situation pass muster?


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

GTdad said:


> Hold the phone.
> 
> OP, weren't you the guy who was upset about his wife seeing a male gynecologist?
> 
> Considering that, on what f*cking planet does this situation pass muster?


OP has started several threads on shall we say unusual topics.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Jack I said:


> Here's the dilemma.My female co-worker has been having a problem with her ex-husband.The other night he was banging on her door.He banged on the door for about five minutes,then starting kicking the door trying to get the door open.She is scared about the whole situation.She wants me to spend the night at her house for a couple of nights.I was worried about her but then I was wondering just how appropriate is this.My wife is on vacation with her mother-in-law and won't be back for a while.


Jack Jack Jack. You're pot stirring.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Jack I said:


> Here's the dilemma.My female co-worker has been having a problem with her ex-husband.The other night he was banging on her door.He banged on the door for about five minutes,then starting kicking the door trying to get the door open.She is scared about the whole situation.She wants me to spend the night at her house for a couple of nights.I was worried about her but then I was wondering just how appropriate is this.My wife is on vacation with her mother-in-law and won't be back for a while.


ARE YOU PHUCKING CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously don't get involved, unless you wouldn't mind if your wife stayed at a male coworkers house.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Maybe you can loan your coworker one of your guns...especially if its registered...that should work out nicely for you...AND THE COWORKER!


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

A sampling of your thread titles. I hope you're having a fun time here on TAM posting all this nonsense.
_
Should I spend the night at my female co-workers house?

Is it common for a wife to refuse to be naked during sex and why are women insecure?

Wife is going to see a male gynecologist...I'm upset..Advice please 

Is it true that if a wife loves her husband,and gets good sex she wont cheat? 

Is it appropriate for me to have sex with my wife while she's sleeping? 

Wasn't THIS WOMAN one of the sexiest women alive? 

Wife suddenly wants me to get circumcised...I think this is ridiculous 

My wife laughed at me during sex...and another question 

Honestly,wow effective is the "Have sex more often" method for premature ejaculation? 

If a husband gets a lap dance from another woman is it cheating? 

How common is it for a woman to lie to her husband about being good in bed?

Wife had an abortion 5 years ago,now wants to adopt sisters kid
_


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Jack I said:


> No,my wife and I haven't discussed it.


Gee I wonder why. She has many options, file a restraining order, have the cops on standby, hotel, family or female friends for her to go spend the night with. Does your employer have an employee asstistance program? If so, they will help her.

With so many options, why should you jeopardize your marriage.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jack I (Nov 23, 2012)

Hope1964 said:


> The fact you are even discussing marital problems with a female coworker is a problem - you should not even know about this in my opinion.


Thats interesting.Why shouldn't I know about it?You feel it's inappropriate for me to discuss with her and help her out in that way?Even if she needs an ear to listen or something like that?


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Jack I said:


> Thats interesting.Why shouldn't I know about it?You feel it's inappropriate for me to discuss with her and help her out in that way?Even if she needs an ear to listen or something like that?


Or something like what? 

These intimate conversations are how many affairs start. I'm really struggling to understand you, on one hand you were all against your wife having a male gynogologist but here you are now asking about spending the night with a female coworker? 

I don't understand your reasoning.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

mablenc said:


> Or something like what?
> 
> These intimate conversations are how many affairs start. I'm really struggling to understand you, on one hand you were all against your wife having a male gynogologist but here you are now asking about spending the night with a female coworker?
> 
> ...


Don't forget that even though his wife isn't allowed to see a male gyno, he can get lap dances and not tell her about it...

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I want a lap dance


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

the guy said:


> I want a lap dance


C'mon over, big guy. $20 and I'm all yours. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

PBear said:


> C'mon over, big guy. $20 and I'm all yours.
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:lol:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MissFroggie (Sep 3, 2013)

Hope1964 said:


> A sampling of your thread titles. I hope you're having a fun time here on TAM posting all this nonsense.
> _
> Should I spend the night at my female co-workers house?
> 
> ...


Thanks for reminding us Hope - I actually thought it was a serious question for a moment there lol.

I do have a question though: How did he know his wife was laughing at him while he was having sex and not laughing at the OW he was doing it with? 



PBear said:


> Don't forget that even though his wife isn't allowed to see a male gyno, he can get lap dances and not tell her about it...
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


...and have sex with her without her consent!!!

I'm guessing he is some loser who has to pretend he has a wife because of his lack of social skills and interaction in the real world and he only comes on here when his money has run out for his porn subscription - hence the attitude and hatred of women and marriage and us too lol.

OP just go and bang her...if she exists, and don't worry because your make-believe wife won't find out unless you decide she does so you can get a nice long thread on here sympathising and advising you on what to do about the b!tch who screwed you over for everything you haven't really got lol


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## MissFroggie (Sep 3, 2013)

mablenc said:


> Or something like what?
> 
> These intimate conversations are how many affairs start. I'm really struggling to understand you, on one hand you were all against your wife having a male gynogologist but here you are now asking about spending the night with a female coworker?
> 
> ...


You never will honey...check his other posts and threads...


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

It's an EA. You've been cheating on your wife for years in EA's. I bet if she told you how hurt she is, you'd be totally caught off guard. No wonder she doesn't want intimacy with you. You don't really want her. No, not sex with her, you don't want her, all of her, her mind body and spirit. You are slowly, "killing", the woman you married, in essence. It really seems emotionally abusive. 

Sorry for her and you.


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## john1068 (Nov 12, 2013)

Jack I said:


> I was worried about her but then I was wondering just how appropriate is this.My wife is on vacation with her mother-in-law and won't be back for a while.


No, it would NOT be appropriate. This is what the Police are for. She can talk with her neighbors to let them know what's going on and they can lookout for her as well. No way at all that I'd spend the night there...what about tomorrow, the next day, and so on? She has the legal system she should be working with.


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## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

Hope1964 said:


> If my husband did this I would divorce him.


Wow. But of course this is TAM, where everything leads to cheating! Everyone is guilty until proven innocent!

But, having said that, I would advise the OP not to do it unless he told his wife about it first. It would certainly look suspicious if she found out from someone else.



> _The fact you are even discussing marital problems with a female coworker is a problem - you should not even know about this in my opinion._


So people shouldn't be allowed to talk about their marital problems with their friends and co-workers? It's not like she's talking about details in the bedroom, she's talking about being in fear of her life from her ex-husband. 

(assuming the OP is for real, which is a hell of an assumption)


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Jack I said:


> Here's the dilemma.My female co-worker has been having a problem with her ex-husband.The other night he was banging on her door.He banged on the door for about five minutes,then starting kicking the door trying to get the door open.She is scared about the whole situation.She wants me to spend the night at her house for a couple of nights.I was worried about her but then I was wondering just how appropriate is this.My wife is on vacation with her mother-in-law and won't be back for a while.


That's not your problem. Stay well away. Be sympathetic, offer advice (name of good lawyer, etc) but do not put yourself in line of fire of her ex.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Jack I said:


> Here's the dilemma.My female co-worker has been having a problem with her ex-husband.The other night he was banging on her door.He banged on the door for about five minutes,then starting kicking the door trying to get the door open.She is scared about the whole situation.She wants me to spend the night at her house for a couple of nights.I was worried about her but then I was wondering just how appropriate is this.My wife is on vacation with her mother-in-law and won't be back for a while.


Haha. Dude.


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## john1068 (Nov 12, 2013)

Jack I said:


> My wife is on vacation with her mother-in-law and won't be back for a while.


Ummm...isn't your wife's MIL _ your _ MOTHER? Truly odd, Jack. Wouldn't you simply write "My wife is on vacation with my mother..."? Having a very difficult time believing your post as being anything other than fiction...


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

john1068 said:


> Ummm...isn't your wife's MIL _ your _ MOTHER? Truly odd, Jack. Wouldn't you simply write "My wife is on vacation with my mother..."? Having a very difficult time believing your post as being anything other than fiction...


Ooooooo, good catch!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jack I (Nov 23, 2012)

john1068 said:


> Ummm...isn't your wife's MIL _ your _ MOTHER? Truly odd, Jack. Wouldn't you simply write "My wife is on vacation with my mother..."? Having a very difficult time believing your post as being anything other than fiction...


Oh.I didn't notice that.What I actually meant to say was "my mother in law"as in my wife's mother.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Oh yah, I really think that her having a man in the house is going to calm down her ex. Maybe he will just ring the doorbell and run away as a prank instead of coming back with ammo to take you out.

Tell your co-worker that her problems are too big for you to handle and you think she should go talk to whomever your company has for employee assistance program.

At the very least, she can go and stay somewhere safe, like a friend's house or a hotel with good security. 

And, she should have reported this to the police, got a restraining order and had it served, and then enforced when the ex shows up again.

Personally, it sounds like you're being played.
This whole thing makes you sound...not very bright.


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## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

snl bad idea jeans - YouTube


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

I don't see any harm in spending the night at her house. In fact, if you go about it the right way, I think it could be very therapeutic for the both of you to sleep in the same bed. Below is a link that explains a little about what you could do to help your coworker in a very healthy way, and why I suggest sleeping in the same bed.

Cuddle Party, Adults Affectionate Touch, Cuddling, Relaxing Parties | Cuddle Party


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## spunkycat08 (Nov 14, 2013)

You cannot be serious about this.

There are many other options your female co-worker should consider. The ones that were already mentioned by other posters are the same ones I would suggest.


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## Jack I (Nov 23, 2012)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Cuddle Party, Adults Affectionate Touch, Cuddling, Relaxing Parties | Cuddle Party


Now that seems kind of weird.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Jack I said:


> Now that seems kind of weird.


I have to agree


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

Not many normal women would ask a male coworker to stay overnight with them and the fact you are considering it is strange as well unless this is a bunch of BS. Maybe you two deserve each other!


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## yeah_right (Oct 23, 2013)

Ron Burgundy says it best...

Anchorman - That Escalated Quickly - YouTube


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## Rayloveshiswife (Sep 25, 2013)

I think your an idiot, or at the very least trying to bait us. But if your really serious about this. Answer this. Would you tell your wife that your doing this? If the answer is no, then you shouldn't do it. I can think of no bigger red flag than staying the night at another woman's house behind your wife's back. One night would be bad enough. Over the course of a few days, something is bound to happen. And if you would be dumb enough to tell your wife that you are going to do this. It will work out fine because your gonna need a place to stay when She kicks your ass out of the house.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

The OP is banned. I'm so shocked! 


Not really.


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## MissFroggie (Sep 3, 2013)

Coffee Amore said:


> The OP is banned. I'm so shocked!
> 
> 
> Not really.


Lol, I had to go check because your 'not really' could have meant you were not really shocked or that he wasn't really banned...yet!!


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