# pregnant, separated, and confused



## addie (Apr 19, 2010)

this is my second post. i just needed to update what is going on. the last week or so my husband and i have been getting along. i finally stopped telling him how much i loved him and how much i want things to work out. and begging him to atleast give me a chance and our marriage a try. that approach did not work at all it just pushed him further away. 

well now that i have stopped all the above we seem to be able to stay in same room together. it breaks my heart to hear him talking about how he plans to spend his future. its hurts when he tells me about a new job he is getting that i know will keep him out here. (my daughter and i are moving to another state next week). i act like i am happy for him when all i want to do is cry and beg him to come with us. my heart is breaking and all i can do is smile and act like everything is cool. i brought up subject of the new baby that will be here in july. i asked him if he got this job would he be able to be there when our son is born. he said he was planning on coming up for a week. a week is all. how is a week long enough to visit your brand new son and a daughter you woudl not have seen in months. last night i went to a movie with him. he acted very nervous. folded his arms and did not talk much. on the way to take him back to his friends apartment he kept asking me what was wrong with me, because i was not talking or singing or acting goofy(like i usually do). well anyway i told him nothing was wrong. i did end up grabbing his arm and he put his hand on my leg. that was the first time in a long time he seemed relaxed. i dotn know if it means anything but i hope it does. when he got out of car and i walked over to driver side he initiated a hug. it was an awkward hug but it was a hug. i dont know if this makes me feel better or worse. it was nice to have a good night with him but at the same time i cried all the way home because the thought of not having him around all the time really hurts me. i hate to watch him walk away. its a horrible feeling, but for those couple hours of being together it was worth it. i know i am pathetic, but i am in love with a man who is giving up on me and our family. 

he still talks about his long term plans without me included and how he plans to see his daughter and bring my baby back out here to this state for visits and stuff like that(but not happening for atleast 2 years my daughter is to young and my son well he isnt born yet). i am hoping these are just things he is trying to convince himself is gonna happen, when really he will end up back home again. i pray every day for a good outcome. 
Do you think any of this is a sign that he might be trying to hold back from feeling for me again? or that he might be having a change of heart? please give me some insite on this.


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## FOH (Jun 29, 2013)

I have walked in your shoes. Do not read into everything. You have to protect your heart. Everytime when I am in between treatments I go to see my son and it hurts. Hurts my husband made my cancer worse by giving me a STD and lied to everyone. If you want to read my story go to cheaterville.com and he is the military dude at the top. You have to look out for you. YOU HAVE TO.. Your kids need you. Right now he thinks this is his path so let him do it. I can promise you that he will feel differently when he see the grass is not always greener.


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