# We both are into depression



## iamalone (Aug 7, 2011)

I got married about 2 years back. In my in-laws, mother-in-law and sister-in-law is there. Sister-in-law is not normal, she is having some psychological problem it has not yet categorised whether it is border line personality aur autism. My husband devote alomost his whole day in managing her because she used to create ruccus at home. His mom also supports him for his daughter. Our marriage is going through bad times, we both were not able to cope with his family situation from the beginning. Although we are going to the counsellor, but only once in fortnight and sometimes gap is even longer. Our sex life is also not good from the beginning. We both love each other, but family problems and our problems have always play a big role in fading our love. He remain silent on maximum times and keep devoting his time to his sister. I used to get furious and i used to stay either in anger or in tears. Counsellor had suggested anti-depression medicines for both of us. We are in a situation, where we are not talking to each other. In first 3 months of our marriage, we were living in different state due to his job and we were quite happy there although some little arguments used to take place there. thereafter we all had startred living with his mom and sister because we have shifted to same town. Thereafter, he started focussing on his mom and sister and many times, he used to forget me and I used to cry for it. We had a number of arguments on his concern towards his family, his mom teasing towards me, my friends, my anger, etc. Sometimes, in anger i asked him for divorce, but from my insight I cant live without him. Siatuation has become so worse that he is not bothered about me, even I leave his home or not talking to him. He just keep concertrating on his sister and his mom throughour whole day. I am in pain, when he is with me, bacuse he is not talking to me, and I am in pain when he is not with me. I got the signal many times that He hates me now. What should I do to ease my pain and have the loving relationship with him again. I feel like crying almost whole day.


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## Uptown (Mar 27, 2010)

IamAlone, welcome to the TAM forum. I suggest you read _Stop Walking on Eggshells,_ the best selling book targeted to the spouses and family members of BPDers. If your SIL is a BPDer, reading about the traits will help you understand the dynamic going on between her and your H. Moreover, once you learn to spot the red flags for having strong BPD traits, you will be able to tell if your H also is exhibiting many of them. I also suggest that you see a clinical psychologist on your own to get a professional opinion as to what it is you are dealing with. You will learn that BPDers are always convinced they are victims. It may be then, that your H is being manipulated by his sister (who is always portraying herself as vulnerable and a victim). Take care, IamAlone.


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## Johnfarnandez (Aug 20, 2011)

Marriage works by loving the right person enough to make the right choices as you do so.iamalone, you should make more interest in your spouse and i think you should seriously need some counselling.





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therapist in Irvine CA


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