# Cried like a baby



## CH (May 18, 2010)

OMG, just about cried my eyes out reading this story. Probably not true but the the message is clear.

He Was Cheating And Wanted A Divorce. But She Was Brilliant And Did THIS? Wow!

Grab alot of tissues, you're going to need it.


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

CH said:


> OMG, just about cried my eyes out reading this story. Probably not true but the the message is clear.
> 
> He Was Cheating And Wanted A Divorce. But She Was Brilliant And Did THIS? Wow!
> 
> Grab alot of tissues, you're going to need it.


Almost certainly not true, but a wonderful story anyway.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

I cried, too. Maybe true, never know.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

May not be true - but one hell of a story and I have known some pretty amazing women who could pull that off!


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## nursejackie (May 22, 2015)

I cried too. probably not true but it makes a good point.

I think that often when intimacy is lacking in the marriage it leaves it vulnerable to an affair. We end up growing apart because we are no longer bonding through physical touch which produces all those chemicals. Along comes someone who is creating that bond through time, working together, admiration, kind gestures…a touch to the hand…

I think insisting H and I sleep naked every night was huge in helping us rebuild that bond. He resisted at first but wouldn't have it any other way now.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

The ending was terribly shocking...didn't see that coming ... I was crying !


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## WhyMe66 (Mar 25, 2016)

CH said:


> OMG, just about cried my eyes out reading this story. Probably not true but the the message is clear.
> 
> He Was Cheating And Wanted A Divorce. But She Was Brilliant And Did THIS? Wow!
> 
> Grab alot of tissues, you're going to need it.


My STBXWW cheated on me and broke my heart-she is at fault for the wrecked marriage. But reading this and a couple of other articles I can see where I fouled up and we lost intimacy... I just wished to God there was some way back.


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## WhyMe66 (Mar 25, 2016)

SimplyAmorous said:


> The ending was terribly shocking...didn't see that coming ... I was crying !


I did, because she was getting easier and easier to carry.


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## Sparta (Sep 4, 2014)

Wow I was not expecting that and I balled my eyes out ...!!! And the big lump in the throat ...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

I've read that one before....and cry every time.

True or not....can you imagine living your last days knowing the one you love wanted to leave you? And never telling them you were leaving them? Only taking the high road and showing them closeness, love and devotion....and never even getting to say goodbye....


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

LosingHim said:


> I've read that one before....and cry every time.
> 
> True or not....can you imagine living your last days knowing the one you love wanted to leave you? And never telling them you were leaving them? Only taking the high road and showing them closeness, love and devotion....and never even getting to say goodbye....


I'd be overwhelmed with Bitterness... I can't relate to what this woman did AT ALL in any way, shape or form.. I'd want to kill the SOB... but that's why it's so dang [email protected]#

Can't be true.. the timing of her death is too Story like.. too perfect for the PUNCH...

@WhyMe66 ... I caught the parts with her loosing weight.. but in my mind. I was thinking ... She was probably depressed.. ya know.. feeling - Yes this MAY help him want her again, it's worth a shot..... but in reality.. she wasn't seeing the results ... she KNEW this was the ending (of them- not necessarily herself) .. so she wasn't eating as much... 

I was assuming a "renewed intimacy" ending to this.. for him to fall in love with her again, realize his wrongs, He did .. but just not THAT ending....


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

> At least, in the eyes of our son, I’m a loving husband.


Well..glad that worked for him and his selfish old self. :| I guess at the end of the day that is all that matters to this stuffed shirt.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

Wow that was quite a story. I assumed the weight loss was due to stress. I just goes to show when you think you have a well thought out plan to go back to...it may not be there. 

I don't know why people wait till the end, when they will not accept any type of reconciliation to declare they want a divorce.


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

Sounds like a Nicholas Sparks novel. If it's not, it should be.


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## WhyMe66 (Mar 25, 2016)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I'd be overwhelmed with Bitterness... I can't relate to what this woman did AT ALL in any way, shape or form.. I'd want to kill the SOB... but that's why it's so dang [email protected]#
> 
> Can't be true.. the timing of her death is too Story like.. too perfect for the PUNCH...
> 
> ...


I thought it was beautifully tragic. She forced him to see what he missed and reminded him of where his heart belongs. When I kick off my clogs I hope that my STBX is there and she realizes fully and finally what she lost. That thing about seeing it coming, I apologize for being so abrupt. I saw it because of my training and experience. Being what I am tends to make me jaded and bitter towards humanity. Again, I apologize my friend.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

Here you go:
Carried Away : snopes.com
I actually read the original with the upbeat ending and then read this new version, I thought, on TAM.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Why would she hide the cancer from him, which she must have had for several months. The revelation of the cancer could have been the thing needed to reconcile the couple, at least for her to have enjoyed her last few weeks. She choose not to do that.

She took the "he will be sorry when I am dead approach" so as the leave the husband with maximum guilt. She offered no closure to her husband and cheated her son out of the last moments with his mother before she died. No plans were made to provide for what was best for the child.

The wife obviously had deep resentment for the husband and lacked communication skills. This could have a contributing factor for the marital problems and with the H not getting his needs met at home, lead to him going elsewhere. 

No, I am not trolling. IMO I am taking the TAM POV instead of the Oprah audience POV. My reaction to this story was different.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

WhyMe66 said:


> I thought it was beautifully tragic. She forced him to see what he missed and reminded him of where his heart belongs. When I kick off my clogs I hope that my STBX is there and she realizes fully and finally what she lost. That thing about seeing it coming, I apologize for being so abrupt. I saw it because of my training and experience. Being what I am tends to make me jaded and bitter towards humanity. Again, I apologize my friend.


It was beautifully tragic.. a great underlying message in that story... I can understand your feeling that way.. hoping the ex realizes.. that the good floods back to her...that's very difficult... 

I don't know what your training & experience is.. I think of a cop, what they see every day would leave them feeling like that, maybe a divorce lawyer!... but then I was thinking of the medical field 1st -since you could see it coming... 

You wasn't abrupt even in the slightest way @WhyMe66!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

blueinbr said:


> Why would she hide the cancer from him, which she must have had for several months. The revelation of the cancer could have been the thing needed to reconcile the couple, at least for her to have enjoyed her last few weeks. She choose not to do that.
> 
> She took the "he will be sorry when I am dead approach" so as the leave the husband with maximum guilt. She offered no closure to her husband and cheated her son out of the last moments with his mother before she died. No plans were made to provide for what was best for the child.
> 
> ...


This is why I don't believe the story was real... her hiding the cancer from him, how does one even do this... many Doc visits.. others in the family would know, everyone needs SOME SUPPORT.. then dying THAT fast, conveniently on that day.. when I read "Dead".. my 1st thought was suicide - which would have been to "get back"- cause horrendous guilt.. 

You have a good point.. if it was REAL.. and she did this, major lack of sharing about herself to him.. intimacy not there.. to go through that ALONE - should never be....


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## WhyMe66 (Mar 25, 2016)

SimplyAmorous said:


> It was beautifully tragic.. a great underlying message in that story... I can understand your feeling that way.. hoping the ex realizes.. that the good floods back to her...that's very difficult...
> 
> I don't know what your training & experience is.. I think of a cop, what they see every day would leave them feeling like that, maybe a divorce lawyer!... but then I was thinking of the medical field 1st -since you could see it coming...
> 
> You wasn't abrupt even in the slightest way @WhyMe66!


I was a Hospital Corpsman in the Navy and then I worked in EMS for a good decade before I went to the police academy. I got tired of cleaning up after drunks-driving and domestic violence-and decided to go where I could take them down...


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

WhyMe66 said:


> I was a Hospital Corpsman in the Navy and then I worked in EMS for a good decade before I went to the police academy. I got tired of cleaning up after drunks-driving and domestic violence-and decided to go where I could take them down...


 A ton of respect for that.. every Job you held - very difficult, requires the strongest of men & women.. I feel drunk drivers get off way too easy, I have very little sympathy for those who destruct their own lives like this, when it touches the innocent - it makes me hate people.. it's not nice to say, I know.. so I can easily understand your feelings here.. dealing with this day after day after day.. I couldn't do it.


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> This is why I don't believe the story was real... her hiding the cancer from him, how does one even do this... many Doc visits.. others in the family would know, everyone needs SOME SUPPORT.. then dying THAT fast, conveniently on that day.. when I read "Dead".. my 1st thought was suicide - which would have been to "get back"- cause horrendous guilt..


It's most likely just a well written story (99.9%) but this situation could happen. When a spouse is in a full blown affair, we don't really pay that much attention to what is happening to the BS at all. My wife could have gone to the moon and back and I doubt I would have known or cared.

What he stated about feeling pity for her is also real and true. When you see your spouse/SO crying in front of you, most that are deep in the affair do not feel guilt, only pity and anger. Because how could you be so weak when I'm cheating on you and still cry for me to come back....

As for why the wife wouldn't tell him, if she already suspected him of having an affair, some people will just close up ranks and build a wall and wait for the end. If all she had was the husband (like so many people who don't really have others around them except for the spouse and kids) then nobody would have known, not even the husband if he's in a full blown affair.

As for the cancer, it is a stretch, most of the time stage 4 patients will waste away and the final weeks they are bedridden and pumped full of so much pain med to help ease the pain. My aunt had cancer and wouldn't seek treatment. By the time she decided to get treatment it was already too late and she had already hit stage 4.

In the last month and a half of her life, she went from looking normal to wasting away and barely unrecognizable.

But it could also happen quicker also if the cancer spread to a vital organ that made it fail. The doctors always told her husband and kids to prepare for the worst at anytime once they stated she was at stage 4. She lasted a couple of months only after that and as stated prior the last month and a half she just wasted away so quickly it was heart breaking to see that a person could just wither like that. My aunt was always so proud and defiant, she fought until the end. And she never let anyone pity her or dote over her, always making sure people lived their lives normally around her.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

This story does remind me of this thread. Very sad.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/49839-ex-wife-critically-ill-dont-know-what-do.html


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

3putt said:


> This story does remind me of this thread. Very sad.
> 
> http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/49839-ex-wife-critically-ill-dont-know-what-do.html


I just read that... but the dying wife fell into an EA with a co-worker yrs ago... she wanted out of the marriage... that's just not as heart wrenching.. like being dumped, pitied & rejected in your greatest hour of need...

She was probably married to "the other man" when she was in that hospital bed in her last days... If I was this ex.. I wouldn't visit her.. she had no good reason to even fall out of love with him.. though she deserves credit for being honest about it.. in that way.. there is some respect there, and I can see why he was struggling with possibly visiting her. 

@CH I suppose it could happen.. I just couldn't act like that wife in that situation..no way in this world.. I can not stand the idea of being pitied or a burden in any way.. .. I would not care that I had children with the SOB either... I'd never want to see his ugly face again.. and die with those around me who cared..

It's too devastating to even think about.. Cancer -mainly dying young, in the prime of life... so very cruel.. biggest fears I have in life..... Health is everything.


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## WhyMe66 (Mar 25, 2016)

SimplyAmorous said:


> A ton of respect for that.. every Job you held - very difficult, requires the strongest of men & women.. I feel drunk drivers get off way too easy, I have very little sympathy for those who destruct their own lives like this, when it touches the innocent - it makes me hate people.. it's not nice to say, I know.. so I can easily understand your feelings here.. dealing with this day after day after day.. I couldn't do it.


I hate people, too. Most of the time anyway. I prefer the company of dogs...


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

blueinbr said:


> Why would she hide the cancer from him, which she must have had for several months. The revelation of the cancer could have been the thing needed to reconcile the couple, at least for her to have enjoyed her last few weeks. She choose not to do that.
> 
> She took the "he will be sorry when I am dead approach" so as the leave the husband with maximum guilt. She offered no closure to her husband and cheated her son out of the last moments with his mother before she died. No plans were made to provide for what was best for the child.
> 
> ...


Like many takeaways from the story, I think the "secret" cancer is yet another lesson, not to be taken literally. 

He wouldn't have been so shocked about it if he was more present in the relationship. Very likely if he'd spent enough time with his wife, been home enough, there'd have been clear clues for him to find about her condition. 

Often cheaters become amazingly oblivious and careless to anything but their own little world. This is a demonstration of that, in an indirect way. Even his "voice" tells us he started noticing things he was blissfully unaware of before,like it was some amazing discovery. 

This story reminds me of a more modern adaptation of The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck. The main character favors a pretty concubine over his wife who bore him children and helped run his farm with him for many years. Eventually his concubine gets fat and his wife becomes very ill. He begins carrying her around the house because she is so weak and frail, and only near the end of her life does he truly grasp the ways that he had mistreated and failed to appreciate her.


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