# Wife won't work-had to file bankruptcy-I'm stuck



## El Burro Buenmozo (Jul 9, 2012)

My wife stopped working when our first child was born. We were getting by, but it was really hard. Then our second was born. (both unplanned- got a vasectomy so there wouldn't be a third) I was making ok money as a real estate advertising account exec. When the market crashed and I was out of work, she wouldn't even try to get a job. Same when the temp job I got in the meanwhile ended and I was unemployed. I eventually found 2 part time, just over minimum wage jobs. 
She attempted suicide when I told her I wanted a divorce. I gave in and didn't follow through with it.

Right after that I got my current job where I make barely enough to cover the bills. I wear clothes that are 6 years old. We live in a tiny apartment that is cold in the winter. I can't buy the family decent clothes. I haven't bought myself anything in months. Will she work? (C'mon, guess) We are always one check from being on the street. No exagerration. I filed for bankruptcy a couple of years ago. But the house is sparkling clean, right? But at least she does the grocery shopping and takes the kids to their doctors appointments and playdates, right? She deals with the schools and handles things so I don't have to take time off, doesn't she? She interacts with them, and keeps them occupied, right? (Hint - NO, NO, NO, NO AND NO!)

So in May I told her that I want a divorce. I took the kids (with her permission) for the weekend and when we got back we discover she took more pills and tied a bag over her head.

I can't afford a lawyer. I can't go into debt, because no one will lend to me. I can't support two households. I'm terrified that she will end up with custody and the kids will grow up with terrible emotional baggage. 

What does one do in a situation like this? I feel like there is no solution that protects the children. I don't even care about paying her spousal support and child support - the problem is that half my net salary is not enough for anyone to live on.

Seriously - what can I do?


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Danger to self, you can have her committed to a psych unit for treatment. Once she is diagnosed, if she has a working history of some sort, she could probably get Social Security Disability. Then you would have some income coming in to deal with the huge hassle of having a dependent who doesn't/can't pull their own weight. You can apply for food stamps, heating assistance and day care assistance for the kids. You can get earned income credit. Sorry about your wife. Maybe if she is suicidal and won't get help you need to step away from that situation, if she does get admitted to a hospital maybe she can be discharged to temporary group housing under the care of someone who knows how to look after someone with those needs. Suicidal gestures are the worst sort of weapon to use against someone, I wouldn't let it yank too harshly at your heartstrings, try to deal with it rationally and strongly, sending a message that it can't be used to manipulate you and will result in natural consequences (commitment, and group home.)


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

She is not going to end up with custody of the kids if she has tried to commit suicide and has not got any treatment. Hopefully you did call 911 and reported it to the police as it is also a crime.


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