# Why does my son do this??



## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

OK, this has nothing to do with anything going on in our relationship/marriage, etc. (at least I don't think so lol), but curious what your thoughts are.

My 12 year old son is a really good, easy child. (Was NOT always this way.....total opposite from birth to age 6). Lying is not a problem with him and he never gets in trouble at school, etc. Well, rarely and it's just for goofing off.

Anyway, whenever he sleeps in on the weekends or days off, he ALWAYS lies and tells me, when he finally gets up, that he's been awake since like 5 or 6 a.m., just lounging in bed until he gets up at like 10. He has no reason to lie. He never gets in trouble for sleeping in, he is not difficult to get up and out the door on school mornings, etc. Why in the world does he do this? This morning (day off school) he went as far to tell me he was laying there for hours with his eyes closed, but he was awake. I KNOW he's sleeping because I check on him!!

His dad and I are both early risers and have very strong work ethics, even around the house on the weekends, but we never ever pressure our kids to get up early unless it's a school day. Weekends are for sleeping in (if you're able to).


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

> His dad and I are both early risers and have very strong work ethics, even around the house on the weekends,


He may have internalized this even though you and your H don't say anything, and he might feel guilty.

Alternately, my SO has sleep issues and there are lots of times he tells me he's been awake since 6, while I'm confused because he's been snoring next to me. I tell him he's been snoring, and he says his mind was thinking about x, y, and z. I've also had times when I've felt I was awake with my mind thinking about something, but I was asleep. I think it's possible for people to think they are awake, but are really asleep just very lightly.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

norajane said:


> He may have internalized this even though you and your H don't say anything, and he might feel guilty.
> 
> Alternately, my SO has sleep issues and there are lots of times he tells me he's been awake since 6, while I'm confused because he's been snoring next to me. I tell him he's been snoring, and he says his mind was thinking about x, y, and z. I've also had times when I've felt I was awake with my mind thinking about something, but I was asleep. I think it's possible for people to think they are awake, but are really asleep just very lightly.


Interesting.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Instead of assuming your son is lying why not ask him to explain what it is he is thinking about while NOT sleeping?

Instead of thinking your son is lying why not give him the benifit of the doubt that perhaps he is waking constantly instead of sleeping and lying about it.

Or you could encourage him to lazy around in bed once a week because everyone needs and deserve a lazy morning.

Or you could explain to him that as his body grows he will need more and more sleep and once he really hits puberty, his body clock will reset and he will have a very hard time getting up in the morning so establishing early morning habits now might help him when he has to get to school at the ungodly hour of 7 a-freaking-m!


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## batsociety (Jan 23, 2015)

That's strange. Maybe he means that he woke up early and doesn't realize he's been drifting in and out of sleep? I doubt he's lying just for the sake of lying, there's absolutely no point to it.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

SecondTime'Round said:


> OK, this has nothing to do with anything going on in our relationship/marriage, etc. (at least I don't think so lol),
> 
> Anyway, whenever he sleeps in on the weekends or days off, he ALWAYS lies and tells me, when he finally gets up, that he's been awake since like 5 or 6 a.m.
> 
> His dad and I are both early risers and have very strong work ethics, even around the house on the weekends


You just answered your own question. Kids want their parents' respect. He spends half his time thinking about what YOU guys do and what you expect from him, at that age. He KNOWS you'd be proud of him for jumping up at 6am and working 12 hours every Saturday, but he doesn't want to, so he doesn't. He therefore tries to find a way to gain your respect.

What's needed is a frank, safe, discussion about how he sees you two, your belief system, and where he plays a role in that. It might even be good to come up with something he can do that's in the spirit of your strong work ethic but not on his morning hours. 

fwiw, I have the same problem with my DD24. She KNOWS I want a clean house, though it never is because of the three of us, I'm the only one cleaning. So she comes up with reasons all the time for why she didn't do anything by the time I get home from work. I didn't have 'that talk' with her when she was 12, and I wish I had.


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## Hopelessus (Oct 29, 2014)

Something is on his mind. Ask other moms that are friends with you about school. Maybe there was an incident, doesn't necessarily had been a bad one but just something to wonder about. He probably won't tell you, but you can try asking.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

He feels guilty about sleeping late. 

Encourage him that since he works hard and does well in school that it's all good and it's really not a problem at all if he sleeps until that hour. And mean it.


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