# Sudden Slack in Sex Drive



## Jamie Dean (Feb 17, 2017)

My husband and I have been married for 5 months and 
together for 3 years. We have always had a healthy sex drive, even after moving to his home state two months ago. As of recent, however, his sex drive has halted and he's not the type to admit anything is wrong, so I'm not sure if he's just getting over it being so high or something is actually upsetting him. This has been going on for 3 weeks now. I'm still attracted to him sexually, but it feels like he isn't the same way. Any advice on how to figure out if something is bothering him or maybe ways to kick up the heat?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

In a long term relationship/marriage it's not unusual for the sex to slow down sometimes and then pick back up. 

Is there anything in particular that happened about the time that his sex drive crashed? But 3 weeks it getting of no sex drive is significant.

Does he wake up with erections? 

I do think that you need to have a talk with him. Let him know that if there is a problem between the two of you, it’s only right that he tells you.

There is also a chance that suddenly his T levels have dropped. How old are the two of you?


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Jamie Dean said:


> My husband and I have been married for 5 months and
> together for 3 years. We have always had a healthy sex drive, even after moving to his home state two months ago. As of recent, however, his sex drive has halted and he's not the type to admit anything is wrong, so I'm not sure if he's just getting over it being so high or something is actually upsetting him. This has been going on for 3 weeks now. I'm still attracted to him sexually, but it feels like he isn't the same way. Any advice on how to figure out if something is bothering him or maybe ways to kick up the heat?


Talk to him. That is really the first answer to any problem in a marriage. The sooner you talk the easier it will be.


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## Sixlet (Apr 26, 2016)

Could be anything. Stress at work, he's not sleeping the best, he's worrying about something...you name it. When you talk to him about it I wouldn't make it about your feelings bc he might feel like he's disappointing you which might make him feel defensive. Mention it as something you noticed and focus on his feelings about it.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Jamie Dean said:


> My husband and I have been married for 5 months.... Any advice on how to figure out if something is bothering him or maybe ways to kick up the heat?


I remember a few months into my marriage when it hit me that I had a wife, I had a mortgage, I had car payments, I had all kinds of obligations. Those kind of thoughts can put a lot of stress on a guy.

Yes, talk to him. One of the best pieces of advice that a sex therapist gave to my wife and me was that sex should be playful and exploratory. There should be no performance anxiety. If the act of sex doesn't go as planned, you should be able to giggle and laugh at it and try it again. Sex can be all kinds of things, not just penis in vagina. If that is the problem figure out how to "play in bed with the man you love."

Good luck to you.


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