# Have mercy



## Emiaj24! (Sep 26, 2017)

My husband and I separated in October. He’s currently seeing someone else. Every few months they break up and he starts messaging me and saying how sorry he is and how he misses me and my daughter and wants to work it out he says he thinks about me all the time and all the right things. I start to believe him and then usually about 2 weeks later he gets weird then I always find out he’s back with the other girl and then begging me to get divorced. How does someone go and beg for you back one day and then the next beg you to sign divorce papers? Then complains how I can’t let go and stuff? I think the hardest part is knowing someone else will have the life I wanted and my house and pool and barn. How do you accept that? I left in the middle of the night and took nothing. I finally have mine and my daughters clothes. He won’t give me any appliances or furniture or anything it’s like he hold it as a way to hold on or for control idk? Everything I currently have is borrowed from family and friends. How is it fair that I’m struggling and going with out.Should I file for spousal support? My husband started a business while we were married and hasn’t been the same since. All he cares about is his reputation and is so stuck up and acts better then everyone. I know I’m entitled to stuff but he makes me feel guilty and will say stuff like that’s why we are not together. I do feel bad because he can’t even pay his electric right now and it’s shut off but then again he has money to take his gf out and for her kids. Just tired of feel so ****ty and the up and down and mind games. It’s my fault for letting him control me and manipulate me. How do I let go of the idea that it someday can work out?


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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

Love yourself more... seriously, why would you ever want to be with someone who clearly doesn't want to be with you?

If he did, he would be there showing his actions match his words... but they don't so pay attention to the actions and let go of that which hurts you because the in-between you are facing is no doubt exhausting and unhealthy for you.

Believe more in your own worth... protect yourself and your child.


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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

And please... get some legal advice so neither of you continue to suffer his poor choices.


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## Tomara (Jun 19, 2013)

Above all you deserve respect. You aren’t going to get it from the stbx but you can get it from yourself. It’s hard right now but believe me when I say it will get better. Now go get yourself a lawyer and get what is rightfully yours and your child’s.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

> I know I’m entitled to stuff but he makes me feel guilty and will say stuff like that’s why we are not together.


The answer for you is having a lawyer assure what you are entitled to(50%) comes your way. Further, any communication other than about your daughter needs to be done through your lawyer. Stop being manipulated emotionally by your H. Let the lawyer do the talking.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

Stop feeling bad for him. Is he feeling bad for you and your daughter? No, he leaves you without and spend money on his girlfriend and her kids. So, that alone should tell you how he feels about you guys.

Now pull up your big girl panties and go see a lawyer. File for child support and divorce. Ask for half of everything. He is self employed so there is a good chance he is hiding money and lying about not having any so you will feel sorry for him. 

Put your child and yourself before anyone else. He is not worth ****. So, stop listening to his crap and start looking out for yourself.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

You need to get legal advise about sorting the house and all that is in it. If its in joint names you will be entitled to half at least. You may even be able to move back in legally as well being that you have the child. 
He doesn't want you, he just doesn't want to be alone.


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## Emiaj24! (Sep 26, 2017)

Thanks I did meet with an attorney to get some what of an idea of what I’m entitled to and it’s a lot more then I was thinking. I guess the next step is to put down a retainer and go for support and stop struggling. I blocked him on my phone because he was messaging me everyday even about stupid stuff or starting fights. I’m trying to focus on my daughter and moving on it’s just so hard. We been together for 12 years. I have a feeling in a few months he will try coming back again and I hope I’m strong enough to say no as I can’t keep going in this circle and letting him drag me down.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

You can bet that he will try to come back so prepare yourself and have a plan when he does. If you're not prepared he could succeed.


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