# Feeling alone in a 15 year marriage



## QAMarie (Apr 1, 2016)

I've been married since I was 18. I'm 33 now.. I feel like I'm alone in this relationship and the only time my husband show interest in my progression is when it benefits him....for example when he didn't doesn't have money and I hustle (buy and sell cell phones) he feel entitled to half of the money...or at least 35%. But he has shown me that when he have money that he only gives me just enough to say he gave me something. When he was working, he gave me about 140 out of a month worth of his check. 100 for Valentine's day. The other 40 was at the casino. He does pay bills.. But our bills are about $500 per month. He recently won over $2000 at the casino and gave me $300.... Just enough to pay for a doctor visit tomorrow. Before then we filled joint taxes the refund WAS 6000 but his past military debt took 3500 ..out of what was left he gave me $130 and loaned me 100 which he asked for back as soon as I sold a few cell phones. I love my husband he isn't a bad person. I just feel like he's with me until he get enough money to get his own house and vehicle. We have 5 kids but he's a great father and if it weren't for the monetary inequality, I probably wouldn't even be considering divorce. I'm not perfect ive made mistakes. We have both cheated on each other. We have both been thru a lot with and without each other. I'm currently addicted to pain pills. But I feel like....I'm done fighting for this marriage and although I don't want a divorce I also don't want to be in a one sided marriage. Any advice?? Do I attempt to work it out or let it go?


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## WhyMe66 (Mar 25, 2016)

QAMarie said:


> I've been married since I was 18. I'm 33 now.. I feel like I'm alone in this relationship and the only time my husband show interest in my progression is when it benefits him....for example when he didn't doesn't have money and I hustle (buy and sell cell phones) he feel entitled to half of the money...or at least 35%. But he has shown me that when he have money that he only gives me just enough to say he gave me something. When he was working, he gave me about 140 out of a month worth of his check. 100 for Valentine's day. The other 40 was at the casino. He does pay bills.. But our bills are about $500 per month. He recently won over $2000 at the casino and gave me $300.... Just enough to pay for a doctor visit tomorrow. Before then we filled joint taxes the refund WAS 6000 but his past military debt took 3500 ..out of what was left he gave me $130 and loaned me 100 which he asked for back as soon as I sold a few cell phones. I love my husband he isn't a bad person. I just feel like he's with me until he get enough money to get his own house and vehicle. We have 5 kids but he's a great father and if it weren't for the monetary inequality, I probably wouldn't even be considering divorce. I'm not perfect ive made mistakes. We have both cheated on each other. We have both been thru a lot with and without each other. I'm currently addicted to pain pills. But I feel like....I'm done fighting for this marriage and although I don't want a divorce I also don't want to be in a one sided marriage. Any advice?? Do I attempt to work it out or let it go?


It sounds to me like he has control issues. Control the money and you control the home-and the wife. This is an issue I had with my STBXWW-she had her money and I had mine. I tried and tried and tried to get her to understand that there was "our money." We each have our little pensions from the VA but the paychecks needed to go into a joint account to take care of the household needs. You really should look into counseling-together and individually. Get help for the addiction, fix yourself first and work on the marriage. If you try to divorce him now he will use your addiction against you in court, especially concerning five kids. Has he always been this controlling?


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## Davidmidwest (Nov 22, 2016)

Hi,
My wife read this book and it really turned my head around in my marriage for the better. I even applied the techniques in return.
Please read this book. "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands," by Dr. Laura Schlesinger. She shows you-(men too) with real-life examples and real-life solutions - how to wield that power to attain all the sexual pleasure, intimacy, love, joy, and peace you want in your life.


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## Davidmidwest (Nov 22, 2016)

So what if you make mistakes. Apologize sincerely show loving affection, and do over.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

''Power?''


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## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

Davidmidwest said:


> Hi,
> My wife read this book and it really turned my head around in my marriage for the better. I even applied the techniques in return.
> Please read this book. "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands," by Dr. Laura Schlesinger. She shows you-(men too) with real-life examples and real-life solutions - how to wield that power to attain all the sexual pleasure, intimacy, love, joy, and peace you want in your life.


Why not just call it "How to use your vagina to manipulate your partner to do your bidding".


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

*Deidre* said:


> ''Power?''


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

browser said:


> Why not just call it "How to use your vagina to manipulate your partner to do your bidding".


Have you actually read the book? 
It's a no nonsense kick up the arse to women, telling them to learn to jump off their own pedestals and meet a man's valid needs, or risk losing him.


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## smitht (Jan 1, 2017)

My husband and I are divided on everything. This includes finances, hobbies, family and everything else. We are divided because thats how he wants it, but I'm extremely unhappy and feel less than. Advice?


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