# When your STBX is always the "victim".



## AP3 (Oct 20, 2016)

.


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## EunuchMonk (Jan 3, 2016)

AP3 said:


> How does one deal with a STBX passive aggressive spouse?


You don't.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

You use the big four:

1. I'm sorry you feel that way.

2. I see it differently.

3. I am not okay with it X (X being yelling, snide remarks, etc.).

4. Are you done? (Used when she continues behavior after you have used one of the other three)

These statements communicate boundaries without you engaging with her. That is the beauty of them. They work incredibly well on passive aggressive people, as well as people who are perpetual victims


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

My favorite has always been "I don't care".

Not that I have an X.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

AP3 said:


> How does one deal with a STBX passive aggressive spouse?


Well thank your lucky stars this person will soon be an X. Hopefully this will be someone else's problem soon as well!


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

AP3 said:


> How does one deal with a STBX passive aggressive spouse?


 @farsidejunky's above reply should help.

Just for the sake of discussion, though, maybe give us some examples?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

GusPolinski said:


> @farsidejunky's above reply should help.
> 
> Just for the sake of discussion, though, maybe give us some examples?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Detail is useful.

ETA: Here is another thread on PA: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/long-term-success-marriage/351186-passive-aggressives-their-anger.html

I am very interested in PA because I would to uncover the more subtle forms of it.


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