# My Wifes Behavior Regarding Our Finances Is Confusing And Frustrating



## alg1208 (Jul 29, 2011)

Hey Everyone,

I'm hoping you guys can give some good suggestions. There are a couple of big financial issues with my marriage that are starting to really upset me. 

1) My wife doesn't understand that she can't quit a job before finding a new one. She gets extremely upset with her jobs and wants to quit. She just quit one recently and thankfully is going to get some work with a company owned by some friends but we're not sure how much. The point is...we have a family and I don't make nearly as much as I used to. We struggle even with her working. This isn't the first time this has happened...actually it's probably the 3rd or 4th. I don't know how to make her understand that she needs to have another job before leaving one. And to start prioritizing our familys financial well being before her happiness at work. She needs to understand that everyone has to put up with some crap at work and she's never going to find the perfect job.

2) She gets extremely frazzled about our finances. She stresses out and gets snappy and on edge. Which is even more frustrating because some of it could be alleviated if issue #1 was taken care of. But even when our finances are ok...she gets super stressed. She can divide out the money we have until payday and come up with numbers like $30 per day that we can spend and still freaks out even though we don't spend anywhere near $30 per day). I don't know how to keep her from freaking out all the time. But it stresses me out in the process. 

Help?


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## maccheese (Jul 25, 2011)

What does your wife's income cover? Also, she may have to have some counseling to get over that issue. Maybe it stems from her childhood (maybe having grown up with little money) or having been financially strapped in the past.


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## angelsmilk (Aug 9, 2011)

I am in a similar situation. I am the wife. and I FREAK OUT. My freak outs do stem from growing up with less than alot of money. My husband has combined all of our finances and I hate it. He tried to give me a weekly allowance which is what my father used to do and I immediately stopped that. The only way that I could ever even begin to be ok with everything was to make sure that I had an account that was only mine. I transfer money into the account that all of the bills get paid from. I would much rather pay every bill when it's due individually so I know what everything is but I have lost that battle. SO..my paycheck (even though small--I have a PT job b/c I just quit the fulltime to go back to school) gets put in directly into my account. That makes me feel like I am in control of my finances. Then I transfer. That makes me feel like I am contributing even though it's just a little bit. And what's left in my account is what I get to spend. But I get to decide that...and that's what really makes me not fly off the handle. Occasionally yes I do spend all my money and I am poor but I'd rather ask for money than feel like I am being controlled. 

I don't know if this helps...

and on your #1 issue---she needs to grow up and realize that work is just work. If you don't love what you do, show up, do a good job, then leave everything there when you go home. It's not rocket science....


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