# Will all I ever be is his slave?



## x2startermom (Jan 8, 2010)

My hubby and I have been reading the five love languages together. So far we've gotten to Physical Touch, LL5 (Love Language #5). We have yet to continue because of our busy schedule. He works graveyard four nights a week and drills once a month. Most of what he does is say he is listening and that he REALLY cares. I've given him three tasks to complete and he hasn't even done one. 

Those tasks are: 1. Pick up after self 2. Cook a meal for the family 3. Keep one room tidy for a week.

Is it too much to ask for him to do those? I've tried to make it as blunt and obvious as possible. From nagging to the most obscured hint, I've tried it all. It's been him acting more like my boss than my partner, each time I've tried. He's made it clear that if I point out one more flaw of his it will never change. I'll always be his slave and him my master, that is what he has told me. My family has told me to continue what I have been doing but I don't see the point.

What should I do? I've tried to find a counselor but they don't contact me back. Should I leave? Not saying divorce, but separate. How can I get him to be my partner and not my slave master?


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

You can't MAKE someone care, if they don't. All you can do is set boundaries for what YOU accept, and give consequences if that's not met. If he flat out refuses to participate in housework, stop doing his laundry. If you need to pick up his stuff cos it bothers you, drop it all on his side of the bed so HE has to climb over it all to get to bed. Make what YOU want for dinner. Live for yourself, if he won't participate. Make it obvious by showing him what you've been doing for him, by not doing it any more. It worked for me.

That said, he actually TOLD you that he was your master? Was he kidding? If not, I would be out of there TODAY.


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## x2startermom (Jan 8, 2010)

Not joking. I had agreed to be his slave while @ my most depressed point in life. Truly I had thought that it would end when we got married.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

You do realize that's not normal, right? That that is a very SICK environment? And that no one would be expected to agree to that, or, once agreed to, to keep their word?

PLEASE get out now while you still have half a sane mind.


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## x2startermom (Jan 8, 2010)

Yeah I get where u r coming from. As for it being utterly & completely wrong 2 b someone's slave, depends on yr prospective. The way I see it is it has not been done God's way.
He has agreed to do martial counseling. If it fails then I will divorce him, but not until it is 85% clear that he will not do what is necessary to support our family.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Are you talking about the Biblical reference to the man heading the family? I'm pretty sure that slave/master is NOT what it says.


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## x2startermom (Jan 8, 2010)

No I'm saying that Slave/Master has not been done to God's standards or ways. Not that the head of the man is the master of his family.


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