# Guilty as charged



## whattalife (Oct 26, 2011)

I am a cheater... I am a liar... I never wanted to be but I am.
My spouse is guilty of the same things and is having a very difficult time dealing with it.
Do I stay.. or do I go. I love my spouse.. I love our kids..
But I have found happiness in an other person. I have thought of the grass is greener scenario.. it never is.. but it does feel nice to be wanted.
I want us both to find happiness. I am not sure if we are meant for each other anymore. I have mentioned separation to help us find a more clear understanding of who we are. Not sure if it's the right way to go about things.

We have tried together and failed..


----------



## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

whattalife said:


> I am a cheater... I am a liar... I never wanted to be but I am.
> My spouse is guilty of the same things and is having a very difficult time dealing with it.
> Do I stay.. or do I go. I love my spouse.. I love our kids..
> But I have found happiness in an other person. I have thought of the grass is greener scenario.. it never is.. but it does feel nice to be wanted.
> ...


What have you failed at?

I don`t mean the mutual infidelity I mean the failures that led to the infidelities.

Why did he cheat?
Why did you cheat?

Answer those questions truthfully and you have a foundation to work towards the healthy marriage I assume you want.

However, you can`t do this if you`re still in contact with a person outside your marriage in any intimate/emotional manner.


----------



## sadcalifornian (Sep 18, 2011)

Are you a WW or WH?


----------



## tigercat (Oct 6, 2011)

whattalife said:


> I am a cheater... I am a liar... I never wanted to be but I am.
> My spouse is guilty of the same things and is having a very difficult time dealing with it.
> Do I stay.. or do I go. I love my spouse.. I love our kids..
> But I have found happiness in an other person. *I have thought of the grass is greener scenario.. it never is.. but it does feel nice to be wanted.*
> ...


You are feeling the high of a new relationship. Like you said the grass is never greener but once all the attention from new mate fades, what will be left? Is it worth losing your marriage over? You once had a strong feeling of love for you spouse and just because this has faded, doesn't mean things can't be worked on and gain that feeling back.


----------



## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

Please read my story at the bottom of this post.
My wife and I both cheated and did so much damage to each other and to our marriage. Thankfully, we have wholeheartedly reconciled and are closer now than we ever have been.
Feel free to pm me if you need any more info on our situation.


----------



## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

I'm a cheater and liar too. Also did not want to be one. No more! Humans make bad decisions. Some decisions are worse than others. 

Talk to each other about your marriage and the affairs past and present. See if you both want to save it, or end it. Go from there.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

OP...we both cheated in my marriage too. My advice is to have zero contact with the affair partners while u try to figure this out. U can't make an informed decision while still in contact with the third parties.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------

