# Need someone to talk to



## Maybeitsme (Apr 22, 2015)

Been married 4 months to a guy I really thought was just the perfect fit for me. Im Canadian , moved to USA to live with my now husband. We live literally right next door/same property to his whole family and 24 hours away from mine. 
I totally left my family and friends and everything I had to be here with him... Just makes me feel alone and like I cant talk to anyone here cause its all his roots and If I call anyone from home they would think Ive made a huge mistake when im not totally sure I want to give up so fast.

He has a huge temper problem and such a short fuse. His family is used to it and have learned to ignore it very well. I cannot. First I try to walk away, let me tell you t his isnt easy. We live in the country and cant walk anywhere really. While my immigration stuff isnt complete yet I dont have a license or a car to just get up and go. I try to go to the bed room or sit outside.. He always follows to keep up the fight. Its downright embarrassing that his whole family can hear all thats going on cause were so close.
I cant take it! When walking away doesnt work I fight back and lose control myself. I scream and yell right back telling him Im gonna pack and leave.. he then takes my phone and computer so I have zero contact with anybody. Ive tried to walk next door to use the phone, he will pick me up and hold me or block the door. I do love him and dont want to see him like this.
I know I have blame here too. I think I have depression issues and take things to heart too much. When we fight I do help escalate the situation by not backing down and always ready to threaten divorce. I seriously could go on and in further detail but I think Ive given a good idea at the situation. Im afraid to tell my family about some of our fights in fear they wont like him and wont come visit me.
Weve gotten physical with each other twice He always blames me for his outburst and treats me like a child by either turning the car around and heading home. taking tv out of the bedroom, even spanked me like a kid. I know Im rambling. Had a really hard night last night and just need to let it out and hopefully find someone to talk to


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## Big Tree (Jul 25, 2014)

Hi Maybeitsme,

I hear you. You sound lonely and scared. I'm so sorry.

Please seek out local help to protect you from physical and verbal abuse.

Do you have children or planning on them in the near future?

Where do you want to go from here?

Thanks for reaching out. BT


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

You are being abused . You need to tell your family and have them come get you.


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## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

Please do some research on abusive patterns and behavior, because your new husband exhibits them. Don't feel shame or guilt, it is a feeling that will leave you feeling trapped.

Don't tell him you will leave, but leave secretly. The longer you stay with him, the harder it is to leave.

Sometimes we do not have much of a clue to the type of person we are married to.


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## Maybeitsme (Apr 22, 2015)

Big Tree said:


> Hi Maybeitsme,
> 
> I hear you. You sound lonely and scared. I'm so sorry.
> 
> ...


Thank you BT

No children yet but we do want them.....someday.
I really do want things to work out so badly. I think your suggestion to seek out local help is a good one and Im going to do just that. Even its its having a number on hand to call for advice.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

Mr.Fisty said:


> Please do some research on abusive patterns and behavior, because your new husband exhibits them. Don't feel shame or guilt, it is a feeling that will leave you feeling trapped.
> 
> Don't tell him you will leave, but leave secretly. The longer you stay with him, the harder it is to leave.
> 
> Sometimes we do not have much of a clue to the type of person we are married to.


:iagree:

Your husband shows very classic signs of abuse, which are huge red flags to be aware of. Please don't allow him to alienate you from your family. Call them and look for ways to get out. Also, do not get pregnant. You don't want to bring a child into this mess.


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## Uptown (Mar 27, 2010)

MIM, I agree with the advice others have given above. Yet, if you are not yet willing to walk away from your abusive H, I would suggest you see a clinical psychologist -- for a visit or two all by yourself -- to obtain a candid professional opinion on what it is you're dealing with. Hopefully, you live close enough to a city offering such professional services.

I also would suggest that, while you're looking for a good psych, you take a look at my list of _*18 BPD Warning Signs*_. If most of those signs sound very familiar, I would suggest you read my more detailed description of them at my posts in _*Maybe's Thread*_. If that description rings any bells, I would be glad to join the other respondents in discussing them with you. Take care, MIM.


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