# An extension of my previous thread concerning lust...



## UnicornCupcake (Dec 8, 2016)

Something happened last night which I think better illustrates how I'm feeling than my last thread. I think too many people were assuming I was a little unhappy because no one was fawning over me. Fair enough. I chose the wrong word when I used "lust" because this is more about attention. Honest, genuine attention. Even acknowledgement.

After our co-ed game last night the team had beers together. One of my girlfriends was used as a call-up so this was the first time the team met her. I watched TWO of the guys on my team ask her question after question. Not just her. My other friend (and teammate) also received the same attention. These questions were innocent. "How's your daughter?" "Do you like this team?" Etc. But they were constant. It seemed like all the guys wanted to know about the other girls on the team. I realized that NONE of them have EVER asked me a question. Not about my work, my name (a unique name - usually a conversation starter), how I felt about the game. NOTHING. I felt so invisible. Yes, my husband and friends are chatting with me, but unless I pipe up and enter the group conversation I honestly think I could have sat their in silence and no one would have noticed. Yes, these two girls are single, but it can't really be ALL about that? Can it?

THIS is the issue I'm having. I feel like being a married woman just shoves me into this boring, cold corner no one wants to enter. Like communicating with me would be a waste of time because I'm someone's wife. I thought maybe it was all in my head and I was just being emotionally needy, but last night the question things really hurt my heart. Not. One. Question. No one has ever even bothered to acknowledge I'm alive, .


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## anonmd (Oct 23, 2014)

Are these 2 guys single by chance?


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## UnicornCupcake (Dec 8, 2016)

anonmd said:


> Are these 2 guys single by chance?


Yes.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

You are married, and that makes you not a valid target for flirting. It doesn't mean that men don't find you attractive - its just that the reasonable / honorable ones are not going to flirt with you. 

That is how marriage works - its a commitment to a single person. Not wanting to be mean, but if you want attention from other men (which is fine), then you really shouldn't be married.


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

I'm curious.. is your husband an attractive man? Do you feel like you deserve better?


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## UnicornCupcake (Dec 8, 2016)

GuyInColorado said:


> I'm curious.. is your husband an attractive man? Do you feel like you deserve better?



Yes. He's hot as hell, lol.

I don't feel like I deserve better. I do feel like I deserve to be treated like I exist. Like I'm not invisible or not worthy of conversation just because I'm *gasp* married.


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## UnicornCupcake (Dec 8, 2016)

uhtred said:


> You are married, and that makes you not a valid target for flirting. It doesn't mean that men don't find you attractive - its just that the reasonable / honorable ones are not going to flirt with you.
> 
> That is how marriage works - its a commitment to a single person. Not wanting to be mean, but if you want attention from other men (which is fine), then you really shouldn't be married.


I didn't ask to be flirted with. i asked to be acknowledged. Spoken to. Noticed that I'm breathing.


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## FieryHairedLady (Mar 24, 2011)

I get what your saying. You don't want to be invisible. 

But these guys know your married and want to spend their time chatting up the gals that are single. The gals they have a chance with. 

If you were a single lady, and there were married men at a function, would you spend time chatting them up just because they are good looking, have a good job or whatever, or spend time chatting up the single men?


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## FieryHairedLady (Mar 24, 2011)

Goodnight, I would hope you would be chatting the single men up, and not the married men.  Right? RIGHT?


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

UnicornCupcake said:


> Something happened last night which I think better illustrates how I'm feeling than my last thread. I think too many people were assuming I was a little unhappy because no one was fawning over me. Fair enough. I chose the wrong word when I used "lust" because this is more about attention. Honest, genuine attention. Even acknowledgement.
> 
> After our co-ed game last night the team had beers together. One of my girlfriends was used as a call-up so this was the first time the team met her. I watched TWO of the guys on my team ask her question after question. Not just her. My other friend (and teammate) also received the same attention. These questions were innocent. "How's your daughter?" "Do you like this team?" Etc. But they were constant. It seemed like all the guys wanted to know about the other girls on the team. I realized that NONE of them have EVER asked me a question. Not about my work, my name (a unique name - usually a conversation starter), how I felt about the game. NOTHING. I felt so invisible. Yes, my husband and friends are chatting with me, but unless I pipe up and enter the group conversation I honestly think I could have sat their in silence and no one would have noticed. Yes, these two girls are single, but it can't really be ALL about that? Can it?
> 
> THIS is the issue I'm having. I feel like being a married woman just shoves me into this boring, cold corner no one wants to enter. Like communicating with me would be a waste of time because I'm someone's wife. I thought maybe it was all in my head and I was just being emotionally needy, but last night the question things really hurt my heart. Not. One. Question. No one has ever even bothered to acknowledge I'm alive, .


Why is your importance or value so tied up in if men pay attention to you?

If you died tonight, what do you think would happen to your husband? What would the rest of the life and the life of your child be like? How about your Mother and Father? If you cheat on your husband how do you think it will affect him? Is this not a much more important value? 

Next question, why do you think those guys are so interested in those women? Do you think it's because of stimulating conversation? Really? Or is it at the very least to see if they can get the same kind of attention from these women that you want from them? What in the long run does that attention mean in the scheme of things? Now if they are single it makes sense, everyone deserves and needs one person to give them attention, dedication and love. The key word it "one".

The kind of attention you want, why do you think guys give that kind of attention? Why do you desperately crave attention from some guys who because they don't think they can **** you won't even bother to talk to you? Those are the guys you desperately want attention from? I am sure if you give signals that you were open to ****ing them they would pay just as much attention to you? In the end what does that really mean for you?

There are other ways for people to be important and valued besides being flirted with from the opposite sex (which is the most shallowest form of attention anyway, eventually it requires and exchange for sex). Have you even tried to get attention in a different wholesome way? 

Eventually some loser is going to see your vulnerably and give you that attention in exchange for your sexuality. You better get this fixed before it happens. It will not end well for you or your family. He will get his trophy though, which would be you. Maybe you will get yours too, at the expense of your family. 

Bottom line is part of the deal in a monogamist relationship is that you understand that you are locking yourself down to only allowing sexual attention from the one key person in your life. If he isn't giving you that then talk to him about it. If that is just not enough for you then end your vows. Seriously, you have a choice. Your family or this attention. At least let your family and mostly yourself keep your honor and choose first.

I suggest you start reading this on a regular basis. This may be your and even worse your husband's and kids future. Solely at your hand. 

_
"You can't always get what you want" - the glimmer twins._


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

UnicornCupcake said:


> I didn't ask to be flirted with. i asked to be acknowledged. Spoken to. Noticed that I'm breathing.


Are you taking the initiative to get such conversations going? Does your husband receive the kind of attention you want from the women in the group? Would you be okay with it if he did? Would he be okay if you were a focus of attention? Does he reach out to others in the group (aside from your close friends who already talk to you both) and try to make new connections?


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## marriageontherocks2 (Oct 4, 2017)

To me it seems like you're jealous of single girls getting flirted with by single guys. You seem to be ripe for an affair, the first guy who hits on you is going to give you those tingles you desperately need. You're in dangerous waters right now.

Why not try therapy and to understand why you need validation from other men to make you happy? You shouldn't need single men chasing you to not feel invisible.


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## UnicornCupcake (Dec 8, 2016)

sokillme said:


> Why is your importance or value so tied up in if men pay attention to you?
> 
> If you died tonight, what do you think would happen to your husband? What would the rest of the life and the life of your child be like? How about your Mother and Father? If you cheat on your husband how do you think it will affect him? Is this not a much more important value?
> 
> ...


Well, I'm a talker. I like to talk. Sure a bit of the reason I want to be noticed is for attention. I think that's normal. I don't want to turn into one of those ugly, empty shell people who think all they need in this world is their partner. I think those have accepted their fate as washed up and married so they try to justify their holier than now attitudes by not "wanting" attention. No. I have needs. And I need to be noticed. Talked to. I don't want my entire identity to be summed up as: wife. I don't like how my current group isn't interested in talking to me just because what? They don't have a chance with me? It can't just be about that, can it? I talk to married men all the time at work. Out of pure interest. I'm genuinely interested f things for my co-worker's kid got easier at school... Or how the new house building is going and what counter tops they chose, etc.

I'm not even introverted. Not completely, And I'm interesting enough, lol. I'd like to think I'm "worthy" of a conversation, you know what I mean?


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## Slartibartfast (Nov 7, 2017)

..


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## JayDee7 (Sep 12, 2017)

YOU ARE MARRIED.

Do you think your husband is thinking ?the single women were just talking to the single guys, I wish they gave me attention, too?
It is just weird and wrong that you want attention from other men, just stop. Why in the world would a single man chat you up while your husband is sitting there and there are single women around? 

Also, maybe those other women are more interesting and more attractive to the men that were there and therefore they commanded more attention based on their better looks and better conversation.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

That is completely reasonable. Do you think these guys are interested in conversation in general or just in flirting? If all they want is an excuse to flirt then you will be (and should be) excluded.

It can be difficult in some social situations to have non-flirting conversations. 

Have you looked for people with common interests?

Another approach is when a couple you know is there, you can start the conversation talking with the woman - as a non-threatening approach. 



UnicornCupcake said:


> I didn't ask to be flirted with. i asked to be acknowledged. Spoken to. Noticed that I'm breathing.


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## UnicornCupcake (Dec 8, 2016)

uhtred said:


> That is completely reasonable. Do you think these guys are interested in conversation in general or just in flirting? If all they want is an excuse to flirt then you will be (and should be) excluded.
> 
> It can be difficult in some social situations to have non-flirting conversations.
> 
> ...


This group was a group with common interests. That's why I'm handling everything so poorly. I know it's silly to take this personally and I try to remind myself that I've done the exact same thing to women. (There have been many cases in which I've met a woman who is clearly interested in pursuing a potential friendship and I'll "write" her off because I don't think her lifestyle just won't mesh with mine. So I just don't want to invest the social energy and precious time into someone I can't see turning into a friend. Maybe that's how these people see me?) I guess I'm just trying to find a personality other than "wife"... A niche so to speak. Debating on just becoming a mute.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Um, ESPECIALLY when you are sitting there looking like you want attention and you are there with your husband.

Why would a single guy bother when they are there to chat up single women?


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## UnicornCupcake (Dec 8, 2016)

Slartibartfast said:


> I've read back through both threads, and it looks like this. First, you keep coming back to equating being married with not being approached and included. And you say you want to be flirted with, or at least openly acknowledged as someone worthy of flirtation. I know, you say it doesn't have to be flirting, but you keep coming back to putting it in that context.
> 
> So, answer to yourself at to whether you can't feel acknowledged without being flirted toward or if it really is just being included. You have to do that, because if you were being included but not flirted with, and that was a problem for you, maybe the root of it lies within your marriage or at least inside your head, and that means someone has to get in there and do some work. I will say, too, that open flirting with just about everyone is not a universal norm. Some parts of the country, everyone flirts like mad, and hardly anyone takes offense if it's within the norms. It's a skill set they learn as children, along with learning the rules. I would say that, in general, it's not the norm. But the restraint of the rules doesn't mean it doesn't mean something. It's kind of like the foot rub conversation in Pulp Fiction. If I flirt with a woman, it sure as hell means something. It's fantasy, but it sure means something, and that something is sexual.
> 
> ...


 Lots of good stuff here! 

I think I live in a normal flirty society. A lot of the VERY flirty women because this is a univerisy city BUT I don't think I live in a prude place either. (Although we do have a conservative majority and always will, lol.)

I'm not some attention ***** - despite the way I sound, lol. I know removing the ring and putting on a mini skirt is all it'll ****ing take. I don't want that. I just want to be... Noticed. To feel included. It could be all in my head. I've been really down for the last 3 weeks. NO motivation of any kind so maybe I'm hyper sensitive?

I should add I'm like the only married person in my social circle. Even extended social circle. No one seems to get married here. There are A LOT of those 9 year engagements in which no date is set and a kid has already been born, but no actual marriages. Maybe I'm just the odd woman out and that's the way it is. There are a few in LT relationships, but mostly everyone is single. Single and LOOKING.

Maybe I'm just not as friendly as I think I am. Now I just don't feel liek talking again. Ever.


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## UnicornCupcake (Dec 8, 2016)

Slartibartfast said:


> Now, as a married woman in a singles group, yes, you're not of much interest. They're working on pairing up, and you're not in the game. And in that case, you have no complaint. It would be polite for them to speak to you, too, but the young are rarely polite anymore, especially they're thinking about boarding the nooky train.



this made me laugh lol


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

UnicornCupcake said:


> Well, I'm a talker. I like to talk. Sure a bit of the reason I want to be noticed is for attention. I think that's normal. I don't want to turn into one of those ugly, empty shell people who think all they need in this world is their partner. I think those have accepted their fate as washed up and married so they try to justify their holier than now attitudes by not "wanting" attention. No. I have needs. And I need to be noticed. Talked to. I don't want my entire identity to be summed up as: wife. I don't like how my current group isn't interested in talking to me just because what? They don't have a chance with me? It can't just be about that, can it? I talk to married men all the time at work. Out of pure interest. I'm genuinely interested f things for my co-worker's kid got easier at school... Or how the new house building is going and what counter tops they chose, etc.
> 
> I'm not even introverted. Not completely, And I'm interesting enough, lol. I'd like to think I'm "worthy" of a conversation, you know what I mean?


So no one in your group talked to you? Or just these guys didn't talk to you? If it's just these guys then you are not being honest with yourself, what you really wanted was these particular guys to talk to you. Why is that? See if it was just for interesting conversations then I would suspect you wouldn't care if some guys who only seem to want to talk to available women talk to you. Seems like that would be a shallow conversation anyway. 

Besides that I am sure there were plenty of people to talk to and I am also sure some less attractive or people you had not physical attraction there talked to you, unless you sat in the corner all alone. Also nothing was stopping you from talking to anyone you wanted to. 

Personally I don't think you are being honest (to say it in a nice way, leaving out the word BS). Your first post was more honest, you don't really want conversation you want to be lusted after. You have decided that a lot of your worth as a person, as a women is men's sexual desire for you. Maybe it's because that was how it used to be and now your are aging and it's not the same. Or you just decided that now you are getting older and you are missing out. I think I said this to you in that post. About half of all human beings probably never have a constant feeling of being lusted after.

You are playing with fire. Your state of mind is the same as women who start sending nude pictures to strange men to be lusted over. Not saying you will do that, but if that is what you want that would be the quickest way for it to happen. That isn't going to satisfy you long term. It also doesn't say much about you in my book. Anyone can get a man to have sex with her in about 10 minutes assuming there are enough men present. Doesn't take much with about half of us. Just a willing body. It also means just as much. 

Look here is the truth, this is probably just about you getting older. All of us are. There is going to be a point in your life where you are not going to be lusted after much, nothing you our I can do to change it. And even if you are Sophia Loren you will still not get the same attention that a young women would. If you and a younger version of you are in the same room, the younger version is going to win out. You can do things that give signals to say you are what they call easy and you may get some attention but that is what it is going to take. Sorry that is just biology. You have to accept this. The good news if fortunately this is not the only thing that there is to give you self worth. 

What happened at that get together the other night at it's most base level was a single women was there and single men who are looking for a mate started to stake their claim. You don't fit in that category by your own choice as you are married. Is that shallow, no I don't think so, you were young once too, those men deserve the chance to act the way you did. It's natural. You are married those days are past, if you can't get over that fact divorce. 

Again you really have two choices as I see it, you can come to terms with the idea that you will never be lusted for the way you once were and be an honorable faithful wife. Learn a different way to get attention and self worth. Or you can divorce and get your party on and end up with a bunch of lusting men. In the short term it probably will be nice. But in the long term where will it lead? How will it affect your husband whom you presumably love and your child? What is the endgame?

At best that life leads to shallow relationships that will end when this drug of a new fix gets old and you need to find someone else to pay attention. Eventually you just get old and you hit the wall as they say. Then there is no one who will want you and at that point you missed out on love. It's a drug. It's gonna leave you burned out and alone, with no one to love you for you. 

I am not sure why lust of many is more important to you then love. In most cases you have to choose.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

UnicornCupcake said:


> Lots of good stuff here!
> 
> I think I live in a normal flirty society. A lot of the VERY flirty women because this is a univerisy city BUT I don't think I live in a prude place either. (Although we do have a conservative majority and always will, lol.)
> 
> ...


Maybe you should get a new social circle.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

UnicornCupcake said:


> This group was a group with common interests. That's why I'm handling everything so poorly. I know it's silly to take this personally and I try to remind myself that I've done the exact same thing to women. (There have been many cases in which I've met a woman who is clearly interested in pursuing a potential friendship and I'll "write" her off because I don't think her lifestyle just won't mesh with mine. So I just don't want to invest the social energy and precious time into someone I can't see turning into a friend. Maybe that's how these people see me?) I guess I'm just trying to find a personality other than "wife"... A niche so to speak. Debating on just becoming a mute.


I kind of get that...I am the same way, not sure if this is your situation but I tend to like working out, hiking, kickboxing, etc. and I lose potential friendships because other women I know their idea is to want to get together and go for coffee, I would rather go for a walk/hike and talk that way instead of just sitting somewhere and going for coffee, so I decline those types of invites. Does not interest me in the least....thus the invites stop after a while of course.

I find that I have more acquaintances than close friends plus I think I am a bit of a loner in some ways. A perfect weekend for me is lots of exercise and doing my weekend chores around the house. I am boring like that for sure...I have no interest in going shopping with a friend or sitting somewhere and talking over coffee. Now call me for a hike or a walk then I will go. Usually I don't pay attention to stuff like that until I hear someone talking about how they go for girls nights out and I think wow I don't have any interest in stuff like that....which is probably weird but I just don't.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

To the OP I think you are just ultra sensitive right now and sometimes when we get like that something that we would have not bothered us prior bugs us more for some reason.

Also people can be amongst other people and still feel lonely and neglected for sure.


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## Slartibartfast (Nov 7, 2017)

..


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

I do have to say it really does sound like you want to get a date.

In my world single men do not talk to married women. Period. Also, single women do not talk to married men.

So much so that married couples seldom even socialize with single people any more once they get married.

Once you get married you are in a whole new world. I think you were not prepared, and you are not adjusting well to the reality of being married. Your expectations of being married are not what is happening. And, society being what it is, even if you speak with people about it they will all say oh no we don't do that. But the reality is just as you observe. Singles don't talk to married people.

Besides that I really do think you are hoping to get a date with one of the single guys. Really.


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## Slartibartfast (Nov 7, 2017)

..


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

This is true for sure...however we all know people that unless we are discussing them the conversation will end. I know certain people that it is all about them and they just want to talk about themselves and ask you nothing. I always try and be cognizant when I am talking with people who are asking me questions to ensure that we talk about them as well and what is going on in their life BUT not everybody does that.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

This is true for sure...however we all know people that unless we are discussing them the conversation will end. I know certain people that it is all about them and they just want to talk about themselves and ask you nothing. I always try and be cognizant when I am talking with people who are asking me questions to ensure that we talk about them as well and what is going on in their life BUT not everybody does that.


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## Magnesium (Jun 19, 2017)

I remember your threads from a few months ago about how you interact with people and there was some discussion about your aggressiveness and judgmentalism.

Perhaps they simply do not like you and are as polite as possible to the extent they can be.


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

UnicornCupcake said:


> Well, I'm a talker. I like to talk. Sure a bit of the reason I want to be noticed is for attention. I think that's normal. I don't want to turn into one of those ugly, empty shell people who think all they need in this world is their partner. I think those have accepted their fate as washed up and married so they try to justify their holier than now attitudes by not "wanting" attention. No. I have needs. And I need to be noticed. Talked to. I don't want my entire identity to be summed up as: wife. I don't like how my current group isn't interested in talking to me just because what? They don't have a chance with me? It can't just be about that, can it? I talk to married men all the time at work. Out of pure interest. I'm genuinely interested f things for my co-worker's kid got easier at school... Or how the new house building is going and what counter tops they chose, etc.
> 
> I'm not even introverted. Not completely, And I'm interesting enough, lol. I'd like to think I'm "worthy" of a conversation, you know what I mean?


As a (married) man, I am unlikely to strike up a conversation with another woman (married or not, especially not) for one simple reason - optics. If I were a single man, it would be even more unlikely I would strike up a conversation with a (known) married woman for this very reason.

Like it or not, there are always politics at play in interactions of the opposite gender type. Yes, I can be nothing more than friends with a woman, absolutely. But the reality is that the woman who I may want to strike up a conversation with will not recognize this - nor will her husband, nor will the other people in this circle. Thus, something purely innocent can become untenably complicated, and needlessly so, at that.

The guys who are talking to the single women and "ignoring" you are doing so for one of two reasons - they are flirting with them or they are not flirting with them and are actually just being friendly.

If it's the former, than, because you are married, you are not the object of their flirtations and for good reason.

If it's the latter, then they recognize that you are married, and don't want you OR your husband to make assumptions as to why they would be chatting with you.

It's that simple.

TL;DR - chit-chat between opposite sex people will almost always be viewed as flirting - by somebody.


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

UnicornCupcake said:


> I guess I'm just trying to find a personality other than "wife"... A niche so to speak. Debating on just becoming a mute.


IMHO, this is dangerous thinking.

You are not "just a wife", nor will you ever be. However, if this is how you currently view yourself, or what you envision yourself in the future - trouble will find you.

Interactions and social dynamics change when you pair up. They HAVE to. The fact that you're fighting this is moderately concerning, TBH.

I'm not assuming the worst of you. I'm not assuming you'll become a wayward wife. I'm not assuming you're unhappy with the amount of attention you receive from your husband.

But. This is almost always the first step towards those things, unfortunately.

To be fair, I'm somewhat biased (most of us here, are). My first marriage ended this way. Ex wife decided she needed more attention, so went and got it. Like you, did not like being "just a wife", pigeon-holed into that role. It ended how you'd expect.

My current wife was (emphasis on "was") like this at the start of our relationship, believe it or not. Did not want to settle into whatever "role" she imagined was coming. Greatly resisted things like being checked in on, etc. Typical and normal (IMO) things you do when in a relationship. Took a great while to convey to her that it was never about keeping tabs on her, or not trusting her (things she had major issues with in her past) and that it was perfectly normal for someone to worry and want to make sure somebody's all right. Same thing with accepting help of ANY kind. Basically, uber-independence to the max. We've developed a healthy balance, now, but it took some work.


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## wild jade (Jun 21, 2016)

There's definitely a learning curve when making the transition from 'me' to 'we'. Wives, in particular, often lose their last names, and become just Mrs, an extension of their husbands. Very disconcerting, especially when you are used to calling your own shots.

Personally, I refused to give up my last name, and my identity, and I have no regrets about that. It took me a while to figure out how to still be me in a 'we' context, but I got there, and without any of the dire consequences that some people are predicting in this thread.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I think I get where you're coming from?

I hope I'm reading you right and you just need to find the right folks to engage with.

Do women start up conversation with you?


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

UnicornCupcake said:


> I don't want to turn into one of those ugly, empty shell people who think all they need in this world is their partner. I think those have accepted their fate as washed up and married so they try to justify their holier than now attitudes by not "wanting" attention.


Fear of age, fear of unattractiveness, Fear of losing the spotlight. This snip is kind of scary to me. I'm afraid there is more than a little bit of truth peeking through.

Now @UnicornCupcake I understand you better than you are thinking. Unlike the majority of men, I love conversation. I can't get enough from my partner. It is a lot of the reason I read here. but most guys are not going to "get" this. They are going to see a taken woman looking for some outside attention. Now if they were me they would be asking you questions, especially if you were standing right next to your man. But for most fellas conversation is a chore.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

I don't know if anyone else has brought this up as I sort of skimmed, but the thing I think about if I were in the single guys shoes at the outing would be stepping on your husbands shoes and being disrespectful towards him right in his face if I were to show an interest in conversing with you throughout the entire night. Even if I just wanted to talk normal stuff, I would be nervous about your husband taking things the wrong way if I were to show what seems like too much interest in you. This is what guys do, its just code for us. I wouldn't give you a lot of attention right in front of your man, no matter how platonic and generic the conversation may be. If the three of us were engaged in conversation together, that would be a different story. Even then, i would make it a point to direct most of my attention on him instead of you out of respect. If I found you attractive, I would stay away from you even more out of respect. 

I feel your yearning for attention from other men is going to cause your husband some great heartache somewhere down the line. Just saying, if I were a player, you would be an easy target from where I'm standing. Get you alone, give you that attention you seem to be craving so badly. Of course you would eat it up. All that you feel you are missing, I would give you in spades. Thats a layup right there.


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## JustTheWife (Nov 1, 2017)

With the exception of a hardcore pickup scene where it's just about finding someone for sex right there and then, I think that married and single guys talk to all women (including married ones) who are fun to talk to and who make them feel good for it. I'm not a great conversationalist and I'm shy but I think that guys like to make me smile and laugh which comes easy for me. Other women might be good conversationalists and very interesting or challenging in the right way. It coudl be for different reasons but guys will talk to women that they know they will enjoy talking to and who make them feel good about themselves - maybe it's because the woman is attractive, funny, fun, or whatever. Maybe you should look at how you come across socially.


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