# Uncomfortable with OBGYN



## Chak (Sep 7, 2009)

My wife and I just recently had a baby. When we first found out that she was pregnant, she started spotting and went to the ER. I met her there and the doctor came in. He was young and just rubbed me wrong. He had this perverted vibe about him like he was enjoying looking at my wife too much. I didn't say anything because I didn't want her to think I was jealous but I this guy creeped me out. He kept trying to push her gown all the way up and he was touching her almost sensually. Enjoying it too much for my taste but I said nothing. I felt powerless but in situations like that she gets upset at me. While we were getting the discharge instructions from him, this guy made a flaigrant pass at my wife. I told him that I was her husband and gave him the "look". She just wrote it off but it bothered the hell out of me. 

Now fast forward and her mom sends her to another doctor. One that she's used for several years. Now I'm new to the whole GYN thing... But this was my first child and I didn't want to miss a thing. Its already uncomfortable watching another man touch my wife and seeing her get undressed infront of him also. But I sucked it up. But he made a pass at my wife. One day while we were in his office, he says to her "you're gonna need a car... Not just to come see me, but really you're gonna need one for the baby." I didn't say anything. He then, while we were walking out, rushed past me to rub my wife's hand "to say goodbye". I thought it was odd seeing he doesn't do that for all his other patients. 

He got in the habbit of calling our son "his baby". This struck me as off also, but I figured it was an indearing thing. But when she was in the labor room, he did it up until her mom and my mom came into the room, then our son became "the" baby. I told my wife I don't like him and asked that she not see him anymore after she finishes with her post partum check-ups. She of course got upset at me. 

I know I'm not bugging but this is nagging me. Her regular GYN is a man and I have no problem with him. He is professional and if he has intentions or anything else he is damn good at hiding them. I don't think my wife will cheat on me at all, but she tends to be very naive or just fakes it. IDK what to think anymore. A little help would do wonders.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

i think its kind of strange that your wife got upset at you for asking her not to see that OBGYN again. unless you are always suspicious of guys and accusing in general. then i could see that she might be annoyed. maybe she's just stressed out about the baby? how was your relationship prior to all this? you guys fight a lot?


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## Chak (Sep 7, 2009)

We fought a lot. Mostly over the same things. But to her admition, when I am suspicious of someone (guy or girl) I am usually right. Whether it's one of her girlfriends, doing something underhanded or that's potentially harmful to my wife or a guy trying to get over on her. No matter what I say she fights me on it. Later, she will admit that I was right. But while it's going on she will fight me like I am being an ass. She'll even admit "nothing gets past you" but when she doesn't want to see she makes me out to be the jealous, suspicious, insecure monster. Then when it goes down exactly like I said, she'll either sheepishly admit it; then I have to be the one to pick up the pieces. I have to be the one to console her. This is very stressful. Or she won't say anything for fear that I will gloat about it (which I've never done). My only concern is the well-being and safety of my wife and child but this is all too much.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

Chak said:


> Then when it goes down exactly like I said, she'll either sheepishly admit it; then I have to be the one to pick up the pieces. I have to be the one to console her.


well, you dont _have_ to do anything. you chose to console her, to pick up the pieces, etc. any stress you are incurring from your own actions are obviously your own fault. of course there is the stress that her actions will bring, but that's a different story.

and how often does this happen?? what sort of situations is she getting herself into that you feel the need to prevent? and so often. it sounds almost adolescent to me- and you are acting like the parent.


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## Chak (Sep 7, 2009)

We fought a lot. Mostly over the same things. But from her own admission I am usually (more often than not) dead on with my suspicions. I don't accuse and I won't say anything unless I have evidence or good reason. This ranges from females that I know are being under-handed to men that I know are trying to take advantage of her "sweet" nature. She boasts in the fact that "nothing gets by" me, but fights me tooth and nail when she doesn't want to see it. Afterwards, when things happen just as I said they would, she either will say nothing; or she will sheepishly come admit that I was right. 

My only agenda is the safety of my wife and son. I grew up in the streets and know the evils that people will do having done plenty myself. Never assuming that I know it all and can be dead wrong some of the time (in those instances I never voice anything... just watch). But when I open my mouth about something I usually know what I'm talking about. She tells me I'm being her father. She is older than I and acts as if I know nothing about nothing (yeah). But will brag on how smart I am. I never tell her what to do, but I tell her the score and let her make her own decisions. It's just stressful.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

I dont know what you have been through, nor your situation, but your posts border on paranoia. I would suggest you seek counseling.


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## Chak (Sep 7, 2009)

I feel like a parent sometimes. I hate it. I was trying to get her fam and my fam to throw her a baby shower. They were dragging their feet. I emailed one of her friends (her best friend as she calls the girl) and asked her to hook up with my sister to do it. This friend then turns and tells my wife. After the two of them dog me out my wife confronts me on it. I got pissed. The next day her girlfriend emails me telling my why she can't do it. This same girl tried to hit on me while my wife and I were dating. Never told my wife cuz she wouldn't believe me. My wife has sent her emails that were personal to our relationship. She doesn't get it. 

Another time, we were moving and the way the landlord was acting I knew he was going to try to raise the price at the last minute. I told her, but she didn't wanna believe me. He did, and we got caught out there. Went through hell to get the deposit back.

Another time was with her sister. She wanted her sister to do something for her. She normally would but her sister (her family for that matter) had an ought against me (all from my wife making me out to be a monster). I knew she wouldn't and told my wife that she wouldn't do it. I said "your sister doesn't like the fact that you are with me so she will not do it. Basically to say 'if you're with him you can't get anything from me" My wife looked at me with disgust as if to say how could you think that. Sure enough her sister didn't do it and she was disappointed and depressed. 

Or how about the guy that she grew up with. I told her I didn't like the way he interacted with her. It wasn't until she and I got together that he started brushing her arm and playing her very close. I asked her what the nature of the relationship was and she said they grew up together. She fought me like hell. One christmas we went by her mom's and everyone, including him, was there. He started flirting with her with his eyes and following her around to the point where she got outright angry. I didn't say anything. 

It is very childish. It's not the fact that she won't heed her husband. But she will fight me. She will make me out to be the monster, the bad guy. There are many more situations but I won't go that deep on here.


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

I personally fine you insanely jealous here, that is a OBGYN's job. Do you expect him not to touch her? he has to feel around for things in there.

When we had our three children, my wife's OBGYN was extremely Handsome, we are talking George Clooney type. As you can imagine his office was very busy. He was also one of the top Doctors in our state, well respected and well known. My wife is a GEORGOUS redhead, I mean a real looker, I have accepted men will flirt with her and hit on her all the time, I mean she is darn good looking, but she is mine. I have no worries and the doc is there to make sure your baby is born healthy and so is your wife.


You really need to grow up before you have this baby, your Jealousy is borderline Psychotic. If you are this crazy already, I recommend you don't go to anymore doctor visits, you will only stress her out, What are you going to do when the Doctor has to deliver the baby? dude Get a freaking grip will you, not everyman is hittting on your wife. Especially the doctors, i mean come on, do you know how many Vag's this guy see's a day? some healthy, some not so healthy?? Some pretty women? some Beasts? Did you not look at the other women around his office? he has to look at every one of them......ewwww.

(sorry ladies) 

But seriously get over yourself, you will end up in a divorce, get counseling you are WAY TO JEALOUS of a person.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

Her doctor the one who exams her... is really up to her and her comfort... not yours.

I had a OB/GYN one time that was soooooooooooooo handsome, it made
me a lil uncomfortable... so I found a new one. 

A ladies doctor is HER doctor and its up to her who she is comfortable with and if she wanted to change docs, there are only thousands of OB/GYN's to pick from.
Maybe your jealous and you should back off and not take things personally esp when he isn't even your doctor.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

Back off and let the doctor do his work. 

She knows if she uncomfortable or not...not you.

If you are uncomfortable then don't go. 

Let her make her own decisions.

Decide to trust your wife.


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## MrsSchaffer (Jun 6, 2009)

You sound paranoid to me. You need to back off and let her make her own decisions. If you don't trust her, you have more serious issues that "passes" made by her doctor. Personally, I wouldn't even consider the example a pass. Saying that she would need to come see her is not a pass, it was a statement. obviously she is going to need to see him.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

After reading your post and before I got to the other responses, I thought "wow, there is something odd about this poster." All i can say is that you must be miserable to live with. Sorry, but anyone who is always getting bad vibes from people and who thinks he is always right about it (and frankly, your wife agreeing may be saying that just to shut you up), seems a bit too controlling, to say the least. Lighten up and take people as they come. Quit trying to find something bad about everyone, or find a nicer group of people to hang out with. Geez, if you have to "console" your wife so often, what is really going on? Step back and figure that out and maybe you'll get some helpful insight.


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