# Taking my kids to counseling, wife feels left out



## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

While my wife remains thousands of miles away going to meet-up groups and doing social events (while still trying to find work), she became upset during a online chat we had last night. I told her I had planned on taking the kids to see a counselor because of my fear of them missing their mother as well as the fact that we are divorcing. She asked what the counselor said about the meeting, wanted to know everything about the meeting. I know she has a right to do so, and I told her the truth, that things went fine, my daughter enjoyed the visit, but the counselor did not voice concerns after the 1st meeting. Suddenly, my wife texted/chatted asking why didn't the therapist say anything?!?, and that she wants the counselors name and number. She also said that she wants to know what's going on because "she's still their mother!". Also, she said she wants to do video chat or have her father present. It was almost like she was worried she would be portrayed as the BAD mother.She definitely came across as upset. I told her I am not part of the meetings, but that the therapist mentioned that she would love for their mother to come down for a meeting with them sometime. I continued to reply in a positive manner and did not allow myself to get sucked in to her anger. At the end of the chat, she did sound more relieved that it wasn't some blame session.


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

Yep. Another 'don't make me out to be a bad guy' scenario.
How people react to try and preserve an image they want to project.

Glad the kids are doing ok mate


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## Dadof3 (Mar 14, 2011)

If I were in your shoes, I'd have a hard time NOT rubbing salt into her wounds regarding her job as a Mom (abandoning her kids! REALLY!)

I think you should lay it out on the line for her - no holds barred. Let her know she is a horrible wife and mother, and that you hoped the kids will want a relationship with her when they've grown up, and that you will do everything in your power to limit her influence on them as she IS a bad influence and what kinda mother would really abandon her children and marriage for a fantasy single life!

Just sayin'.


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## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

Odd that she feels left out when she left everyone else out of her life as a wife and mother.

Great dad for taking care of the kids!


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## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

HerToo said:


> Odd that she feels left out when she left everyone else out of her life as a wife and mother.
> 
> Great dad for taking care of the kids!


That's the best one-liner I've heard. Thanks for putting a smile on my face and I appreciate the positive feedback from all of you. :smthumbup:
It is tempting to rub salt in the wounds, but she knows deep down she messed up and continues to do so. I remember when she was DEEP in the fog that whatever I said to try to snap out of it fell on deaf ears. It's sad really.


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## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

In all reality, it is sad. When she does finally wake up, and her new life comes crashing down all around her, she will look back at what she once had.


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## Soccerfan73 (Jul 30, 2011)

Now she's worried about being left out? LOL

What a dolt.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Houstondad said:


> While my wife remains thousands of miles away going to meet-up groups and doing social events (while still trying to find work), she became upset during a online chat we had last night. I told her I had planned on taking the kids to see a counselor because of my fear of them missing their mother as well as the fact that we are divorcing. She asked what the counselor said about the meeting, wanted to know everything about the meeting. I know she has a right to do so, and I told her the truth, that things went fine, my daughter enjoyed the visit, but the counselor did not voice concerns after the 1st meeting. Suddenly, my wife texted/chatted asking why didn't the therapist say anything?!?, and that she wants the counselors name and number. She also said that she wants to know what's going on because "she's still their mother!". Also, she said she wants to do video chat or have her father present. It was almost like she was worried she would be portrayed as the BAD mother.She definitely came across as upset. I told her I am not part of the meetings, but that the therapist mentioned that she would love for their mother to come down for a meeting with them sometime. I continued to reply in a positive manner and did not allow myself to get sucked in to her anger. At the end of the chat, she did sound more relieved that it wasn't some blame session.


Don;t cater to her. Do right by your kids. She has abandoned her family, nit you. If she wants in the discussion she should be with her family. Her father has no business being there. Video chat!? Give me a break.


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

F*ck her.


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## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

Not much grey area in that post!


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

I love POMS diplomacy


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## Dadof3 (Mar 14, 2011)

Next time you chat with her say "Bless your little heart!" and then move on to the next topic. (i really hate it when someone says that - it's SOOO sarcastic!)


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

seriously, she abandons the kids and when she hears they are in counseling her reaction is not of real concern for the kids mental health but rather if they are blaming her


that's f'd up- stop enabling this woman


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## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> seriously, she abandons the kids and when she hears they are in counseling her reaction is not of real concern for the kids mental health but rather if they are blaming her
> 
> 
> that's f'd up- stop enabling this woman


How am I enabling? I am divorcing her. It would look bad to the judge if i cut her connection to the counseling sessions,etc.. She has a right to know what's going on. But she can't stop me from taking them to counseling.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Not sure why she has a right to anything but.........

Did you get the custody thing worked out?

Tell her the reason for counseling is because you all feel she left you all out.

When is divorce final? After that my 180 would be so cold she would think he was at the North Pole. Well MINN is the north pole but anyway.


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