# In need of advice



## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

Okay, a short history: my husband and I have been married for almost three years. Before we married I got the IUD. The first year we had very few issues with it. However, the second year I had many issues and the last few months were incredulous. Unbearable. My sex drive went down the toilet. 

I have since had it removed and am on the pill, but my sex drive hasn't risen much. A little, but not much. 

Is there anything I can do to help fan the flames?


----------



## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Get Penthouse Forum magazine and read it with your hubby.

Get off the pill - seriously. My daughter is 18 and has been doing some research on the pill and some of the stuff she found out is pretty scary. Her and her boyfriend use condoms and she charts her cycles. There are other options too that are non hormonal.

Go to a Sex Show with your hubby and buy something new and kinky

Get some sexy lingerie and plan a night of debauchery for him

Get one of those 'sex idea' books - we got a couple at the regular old bookstore. They have things to try and do to ***** things up.


----------



## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

Created2Write said:


> Okay, a short history: my husband and I have been married for almost three years. Before we married I got the IUD. The first year we had very few issues with it. However, the second year I had many issues and the last few months were incredulous. Unbearable. My sex drive went down the toilet.
> 
> I have since had it removed and am on the pill, but my sex drive hasn't risen much. A little, but not much.
> 
> Is there anything I can do to help fan the flames?


Considering your posts in another thread, I was under the impression that you had "hot sex" on a regular basis......and all was good. :scratchhead:


----------



## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

southern wife said:


> Considering your posts in another thread, I was under the impression that you had "hot sex" on a regular basis......and all was good. :scratchhead:


"Regular" basis, yeah. But not like it used to be. And usually my sex drive isn't very active during it. I just want the sex drive I had two years ago to come back, cause it used to be once a day. Now it's once a week.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

based on personal experience once my wife went off of BC her libido shot up

look into female condoms maybe?


----------



## momtwo4 (May 23, 2012)

Before my husband got a vasectomy, I used a diaphragm and spermicide. Granted, it is a hassle to worry about inserting it, but it doesn't mess with your hormones.


----------



## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

It's not practical, at this point, for me to get off birth control. Certainly being on the pill isn't going to damn me to a life without a sex drive? And, actually, my sex drive has increased since I got rid of the IUD and got on the pill.


----------



## momtwo4 (May 23, 2012)

That's hard. I can sympathize with the drive thing. I'm on Zoloft and it has definitely affected my drive. What works for me is to think about sex more often and plan for it. DH doesn't like the planned thing, but he doesn't have to know that I have essentially planned to get myself in the mind frame for it.  Lingerie helps me as does planning a romantic evening (which is a task in and of itself with little kids) with sex at the center. Good luck!


----------



## mattcook (Jul 19, 2012)

what raises your sex drive is a lot of cuddling and snugging, gazing into his eyes, skin on skin contact, kissing, without sex. 

Doing this as often as possible. Every day for two weeks is a good start. This fans the flames like nothing else. It makes you each want the other person more. It builds up Oxytocin, the "Love Hormone" in each of your brains and creates the deepest feelings between you.

You'll find that your sex drive grows and so does the level of passion you feel and the real love and affection and the bond. It just increases, which is all so wonderful.

Try it!


----------



## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

C2,
It increased when you made the switch - but is still low. 

Are you open to switching to condoms? I only ask because: If I was your H:
I would take the tradeoff of reduced sensation for me during intercourse in exchange for you feeling a lot more desire for sex. 

I realize this is a very personal choice, but that would be mine. If reliability is a concern: You use a diaphragm and he uses a condom. The combination is actually more reliable than the pill and avoids any impact on your hormones. 

I definitely love the freedom we have since my vasectomy. But 
I have read a legion of posts on here by women who's desire was impacted/eliminated by the pill. 

You both deserve for you to feel lust. 



Created2Write said:


> It's not practical, at this point, for me to get off birth control. Certainly being on the pill isn't going to damn me to a life without a sex drive? And, actually, my sex drive has increased since I got rid of the IUD and got on the pill.


----------



## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

MEM11363 said:


> C2,
> It increased when you made the switch - but is still low.
> 
> Are you open to switching to condoms? I only ask because: If I was your H:
> ...


We have tried condoms before. Once I made the switch to the pill we weren't about to wait two to three weeks before having sex again so, once the doctor said we could have intercourse, we bought some spermicide and male condoms. The effect was....well, actually painful for me. I'm a tiny person and my husband...let's just say he's _very_well equipped. Condoms actually irritate my vagina and they make it harder for him to orgasm. Neither of us like them, but we use them when we have to. I just got off of antibiotics and my doctor told me that antibiotics effect the pill, so we have to play it safe for the next few weeks while BC gets back into my system. 

On the bright side, my drive seems to be coming back even more these days.


----------

