# Revenge is a dish best served cold



## disappointed123

Im not sure if you are familiar with my story - but my wife had been having an EA with a long distance guy, and also started up a PA with a local guy (she eventually went PA with the guy long distance, after travelling to meet him). I filed several months ago - moved out of town for a new job, and am moving on with my life. She is living with her parents and I am renting the old house. The two OMs dont know about each other, but she has been telling each of them how they are special, etc etc.. and at least telling one of them how much she loves him.

Well.. I did a lot of investigating and found the long distance guy's wife. Actually, it turns out she was lying about that - he isnt married, but has a live in girlfriend. Very sad, she has a debilitating disease and is not doing so great. I let her know that her husband was a scumbag with copies of emails and proof with details about them meeting up for dinner several times when he was out of town (along with some not so subtle sex emails). I feel for her, but she needs something better in her life.

The other guy local to her - has a long term girlfriend. I let her know also.. I sent her photos of him naked accompanying naughty emails. ( did this through facebook from HER account. bah ha ) Basically with a 'your boyfriend has been cheating on you with me - here is the proof' ) I didnt have to investigate that - Ive met both him and his GF a long time ago. I just waited a while before I could gather lots and lots of evidence via email.

I also emailed the emails from/to OM1 to OM2 and vice versa - so they know about each other - with all the juicy details.

oh revenge, you are delicious. I used an untraceable computer and email account far far out of town. 

Im thinking - I deserve a high-five on this masterful piece of social justice.


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## Eli-Zor

I call it telling the truth , a job well done .Any feedback on your wife's reaction ?

Hats off to you for doing this I did wonder if you had let them get away with it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## disappointed123

Eli-Zor said:


> I call it telling the truth , a job well done .Any feedback on your wife's reaction .
> 
> Hats off to you for doing this I did wonder if you had let them get away with it.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I just did it late last night, and havent heard a word yet. She has emailed OM1 with no response, and according to phone records, she has texted OM2 several times but has not gotten a response yet either. 

Im waiting to see what happens.


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## Eli-Zor

Wait and see....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Gabriel

Awesome. I never thought we'd hear again from you. Kudos. Glad you feel better. Your W was useless to you and a leech. Glad you are rid of her.


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## Jellybeans

While your story gave me a chuckle, especially this part

_Im thinking - I deserve a high-five on this masterful piece of social justice. _

Just pray there aren't laws where you are about hacking and defamation, etc of character, harassment. 

You did what you did so leave it at that.

See the divorce through and move on with your life.

What did the girlfriend say who you met up for lunch with?


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## aug

disappointed123 said:


> Im thinking - I deserve a high-five on this masterful piece of social justice.


:smthumbup:


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## WhereAmI

High-five, sir!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## kenmoore14217

:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:


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## disappointed123

Jellybeans said:


> While your story gave me a chuckle, especially this part
> 
> _Im thinking - I deserve a high-five on this masterful piece of social justice. _
> 
> Just pray there aren't laws where you are about hacking and defamation, etc of character, harassment.
> 
> You did what you did so leave it at that.
> 
> See the divorce through and move on with your life.
> 
> What did the girlfriend say who you met up for lunch with?


Her and I have just remained friends and biking partners for the time being. She knows the situation well, and - like me - does not want to rush into anything.

I suppose I made a rash choice, but thats just how it is.. I just found out that the guy's girlfriend was an invalid and it really really really pissed me off like nobody's business. Im thinking the guys would probably thank me after finding out what a skank she is.

Her, on the other hand, gets nothing. and likes it. We were not married long enough for her to get squat from me. It has not been nasty so far, and if she wants it to get that way - im ready for it. Oh, Im ready for her to curse at me and tell me what a jerk I am.. 'who me?'


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## Jellybeans

Oh I read your thread wrong. I thought you meant you went out with the OM's girlfriend for dinner several times. 

Who is the biking partner? I am so confused.

Well if your wife comes at you with any bullsh!t tell her, "I have no idea what you are talking about. This has been difficult for both of us. And I don't want to fight over the phone. From now on I don't want to discuss anything other than the legalities of our divorce. I have to go now." And hang up.

Click.

Yeah baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## disappointed123

Jellybeans said:


> Oh I read your thread wrong. I thought you meant you went out with the OM's girlfriend for dinner several times.
> 
> Who is the biking partner? I am so confused.
> 
> Well if your wife comes at you with any bullsh!t tell her, "I have no idea what you are talking about. This has been difficult for both of us. And I don't want to fight over the phone. From now on I don't want to discuss anything other than the legalities of our divorce. I have to go now." And hang up.
> 
> Click.
> 
> Yeah baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Oh, no no.. We all went out a few times (wife, OM, OM's GF, and I) some time back before I knew anything was amiss.. I found out - after I moved away that she was um, playing with him on the side.

Biking partner is a woman that I have become friends with - after moving away.  Friends only.. for the time being. Its actually very very nice.


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## RoseRed

Personally I think this such a sad situation. Your actions born out of the evil of spite and revenge. As to informing all the other people, you went into realms that were none of your business. Not just speaking with them, but maliciously sending emails and photos. 

I'm sure you feel good now... but in the end, you come across as a spiteful man to stoop to such a level and lashing out... hell bent on destroying all around you. 

Social justice is about doing good to those in desparate need in love and honor.. a selfless act... not wrecking havoc, pain and anguish to those that are innocent just to satisfy your selfish need for revenge.


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## disappointed123

RoseRed said:


> Personally I think this such a sad situation. Your actions born out of the evil of spite and revenge. As to informing all the other people, you went into realms that were none of your business. Not just speaking with them, but maliciously sending emails and photos.
> 
> I'm sure you feel good now... but in the end, you come across as a spiteful man to stoop to such a level and lashing out... hell bent on destroying all around you.
> 
> Social justice is about doing good to those in desparate need in love and honor.. a selfless act... not wrecking havoc, pain and anguish to those that are innocent just to satisfy your selfish need for revenge.


How about justice to those women who these men are lying to? Where is the justice in them thinking their partners love, cherish, and are true to them? How about the justice in these wronged women finding out their partners are lying, cheating scumbags who are laying down with another man's wife? 

I respectfully disagree, and see that as being the highest order of justice. 

No offense, but : The altitude at which you sit atop your high horse has perhaps starved your brain of oxygen and clouded your thinking?


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## Unsure in Seattle

So his ex-wife's selfish actions are fine, then? And didn't deserve reprecussions? And the people that she was shacking up with (or trying to) that were attached to others, didn't deserve to know what was going on?

Huh.

Any, high-five, Dis. High-five.


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## calif_hope

Just pray there aren't laws where you are about hacking and defamation, etc of character, harassment. 

1. You can't DEFAME someone with the truth......
2. One time event is not harassment and who is the victim....the EX, the OM......info was dircted to their women.....
3. Hacking...no...


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## WhereAmI

RoseRed said:


> Personally I think this such a sad situation. Your actions born out of the evil of spite and revenge. As to informing all the other people, you went into realms that were none of your business. Not just speaking with them, but maliciously sending emails and photos.
> 
> I'm sure you feel good now... but in the end, you come across as a spiteful man to stoop to such a level and lashing out... hell bent on destroying all around you.
> 
> Social justice is about doing good to those in desparate need in love and honor.. a selfless act... not wrecking havoc, pain and anguish to those that are innocent just to satisfy your selfish need for revenge.


Yep. It's evil to tell the truth and provide proof so the innocent can't be gaslighted!

Wait, that can't be right...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans

calif_hope said:


> 3. Hacking...no...


Hacking...yes. If he got into her email to send pics of her naked to other people w/o her consent, then yes. 

There was a poster who sent emails to her H's OW and guess what... OW took an order of protection and some other bullsh!t (betrayed wife). Was granted one by a judge and everything. They both had to go to court. 

Nonetheless... back on topic


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## Eli-Zor

Rosered I guess your ok with his wife cheating , keeping their SO's in the dark and possibly exposing them to STD's. If you followed his story you would have read he gave his wife more than a chance to work on the marriage , he confronted the one OM and still they carried on the affair . His wife lied about trying to recover the marriage. So yes , consequences for the STBX wife , the OM's and pain their SO's and the poster. 

Good for him , standing up against adultery takes courage , exposing the affairs allows the SO's to make decisions.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## OhGeesh

disappointed123 said:


> How about justice to those women who these men are lying to? Where is the justice in them thinking their partners love, cherish, and are true to them? How about the justice in these wronged women finding out their partners are lying, cheating scumbags who are laying down with another man's wife?
> 
> I respectfully disagree, and see that as being the highest order of justice.
> 
> No offense, but : The altitude at which you sit atop your high horse has perhaps starved your brain of oxygen and clouded your thinking?


Then there are people like me that don't want to know!! If my little utopia is fine don't screw it up with your act of revenge......I've told my wife the same thing. "If you have a ONS don't tell me if you are guilt ridden go to therapy or something"

I've read enough threads, have seen enough divorce, that 9 out of 10 times it's better not to know what skeletons your partner has in the closet. You can add family members and kids to that list too. Principle be damned it makes life suck that is the realist look at all.

I could give countless examples!! Don't assume the "Spouse" would want to know!!


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## Eli-Zor

I've yet to to a successful court case by a wayard for exposure .
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## F-102

Though there are risks to what you did, D123, I like yer style!


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## Chaparral

disappointed123 said:


> How about justice to those women who these men are lying to? Where is the justice in them thinking their partners love, cherish, and are true to them? How about the justice in these wronged women finding out their partners are lying, cheating scumbags who are laying down with another man's wife?
> 
> I respectfully disagree, and see that as being the highest order of justice.
> 
> No offense, but : The altitude at which you sit atop your high horse has perhaps starved your brain of oxygen and clouded your thinking?


:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:

When you play you have to pay


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## notreadytoquit

calif_hope said:


> Just pray there aren't laws where you are about hacking and defamation, etc of character, harassment.
> 
> 1. You can't DEFAME someone with the truth......
> 2. One time event is not harassment and who is the victim....the EX, the OM......info was dircted to their women.....
> 3. Hacking...no...


Defamation is when you spread lies about someone. Not only that he is not lying but he has a proof of that. If he contacted the OMs girlfriends once I don't consider that harrassement.


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## aug

OhGeesh said:


> Then there are people like me that don't want to know!! If my little utopia is fine don't screw it up with your act of revenge......I've told my wife the same thing. "If you have a ONS don't tell me if you are guilt ridden go to therapy or something"
> 
> I've read enough threads, have seen enough divorce, that 9 out of 10 times it's better not to know what skeletons your partner has in the closet. You can add family members and kids to that list too. Principle be damned it makes life suck that is the realist look at all.
> 
> I could give countless examples!! Don't assume the "Spouse" would want to know!!



Ah, a blue pill person...


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## tacoma

Everyone around here is always talking about how the BS has the right to know.

If I don't even know the OMW I could really care less about her rights.

I'd expose for the sole reason that the OM went out of his way to destroy my life.
I'll move mountains to return the favor.

I wouldn't Try to rationalize it by deluding myself I did it for any other reason than self satisfaction.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## warlock07

What about her parents? How are they reacting to her?


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## JustaJerk

Can't wait to find out what happens next.


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## warlock07

Just curious but from what i read from your older thread, I am guessing that you are "sniffing" her wifi. Is this how you snoop? Or is it just a regular keylogger?


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## TRy

On the very off chance this ever goes to court, insist on a jury trial. It takes 100% of them thinking you are guilty to get a conviction, and there is no way that will happen. At least one of them (if not more) will not want to convict you on this.


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## working_together

OhGeesh said:


> Then there are people like me that don't want to know!! If my little utopia is fine don't screw it up with your act of revenge......I've told my wife the same thing. "If you have a ONS don't tell me if you are guilt ridden go to therapy or something"
> 
> I've read enough threads, have seen enough divorce, that 9 out of 10 times it's better not to know what skeletons your partner has in the closet. You can add family members and kids to that list too. Principle be damned it makes life suck that is the realist look at all.
> 
> I could give countless examples!! Don't assume the "Spouse" would want to know!!


What if she had a long-term fling or whatever you wanna call it, and it takes away from your marriage and family, you seriously wouldn't want to know....really? either way it [email protected] with your life, wouldn't you rather have the truth?


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## working_together

OhGeesh said:


> Then there are people like me that don't want to know!! If my little utopia is fine don't screw it up with your act of revenge......I've told my wife the same thing. "If you have a ONS don't tell me if you are guilt ridden go to therapy or something"
> 
> I've read enough threads, have seen enough divorce, that 9 out of 10 times it's better not to know what skeletons your partner has in the closet. You can add family members and kids to that list too. Principle be damned it makes life suck that is the realist look at all.
> 
> I could give countless examples!! Don't assume the "Spouse" would want to know!!


So lets just sit around the dinner table and smile at each other, life is good, life is comfortable for us......wait, where's my wife?


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## aug

Twofaces said:


> Dont tell anyone, even on here how you did it.


:iagree:


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## ing

aug said:


> :iagree:


You have to think of emails like posrtcards going through the mail. Anyone who comes in contact with it can read it.
I am talking about POP and mail over standard old web here
SSL, ,Secure POP and IMAP are a little harder although not impossible.
The majority of email passwords and usernames still go unencrypted in plain text over the network.

If you run a wireless/wired network at home it s possible to read the traffic as it passes over the wire, picking up passwords, user names and even content. 
It is even easier if you have your own router You can get ones that collect all instant messages regardless of protocol that pass though the gateway. Thats everything folks.


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## lordmayhem

disappointed123 said:


> Im thinking - I deserve a high-five on this masterful piece of social justice.


Indeed. Love that Klingon Proverb that you took as the thread title. You deserve the official lordmayhem knucklebump for your actions sir!










Oh, and disregard rosered and ohgeesh's comments. rosered hasn't been in this situation (infidelity) and ohgeesh is an unremorseful WS himself.


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## alphaomega

The blue pill....lol

"honey. I just got back from the doctors. He says I have herpes! Wtf?!"

"well that's strange! You must have picked it up from a toilet seat"

"oh yeah....I guess that makes sense. What's for supper?"
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Humble Married Man

OhGeesh said:


> Then there are people like me that don't want to know!! \


There are plenty that wouldn't want to know the truth. And there are plenty that would want to know the truth. 

Perhaps people should develop stronger coping mechanisms so that they don't have to bury their head under the sand. Then again, delusionary fantasy worlds are far more comforting to live in.



> I wouldn't Try to rationalize it by deluding myself I did it for any other reason than self satisfaction.


I agree. Why attempt to turn petty revenge into something more noble? Social justice or sadistic satisfaction?


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## lordmayhem

I had to re-read your original thread, and geesh. This is a person that has cheated on everyone she has ever been with (because she says they deserved it ), and she cheated on you before you married. Then she has very strong narcississtic personality disorder traits. She tried to go underground after DDay#1, so there was DDay#2, and DDay#3 after you found out about OM2. 

There's something definitely broken within her and she needs professional therapy, that however, isn't your problem anymore. You definitely can't fix her, she has to want to fix herself. Like you said, she's going to drift from man to man until her looks have dried up. There's no way she can ever stay in an exclusive relationship, and that's just sad.

Another tragic consequence is her son's childhood, having to grow up with such a dysfunctional mother, if you can call her a mother. He's just going to see a procession of uncles all his life. You said you loved him like he's your own son. Have you kept in contact with him? He didn't deserve any of this heartbreak in his life. He will need a real father figure growing up.


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## EleGirl

Humble Married Man said:


> There are plenty that wouldn't want to know the truth. And there are plenty that would want to know the truth.
> 
> Perhaps people should develop stronger coping mechanisms so that they don't have to bury their head under the sand. Then again, delusionary fantasy worlds are far more comforting to live in.
> 
> 
> 
> I agree. Why attempt to turn petty revenge into something more noble? Social justice or sadistic satisfaction?


Something more noble like having 18 or so affairs while married? Your interests in these sorts of threads is interesting, since as a constant cheater, of course the last thing you would support is someone letting the betrayed spouse and the affair partners know what is really going on.

Some day someone will do this.. they will tell your wife about the extent of your infidelity. And then you will be left alone. Tsk...


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## DawnD

EleGirl said:


> Something more noble like having 18 or so affairs while married? Your interests in these sorts of threads is interesting, since as a constant cheater, of course the last thing you would support is someone letting the betrayed spouse and the affair partners know what is really going on.
> 
> Some day someone will do this.. they will tell your wife about the extent of your infidelity. And then you will be left alone. Tsk...


oddly enough, I was thinking the same thing in the other thread where he told a fWW to tell her husband about the contact she had with her OM. Uh.........how about letting your wife in on your secret little life?


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## warlock07

Humble Married Man said:


> I agree. Why attempt to turn petty revenge into something more noble? Social justice or sadistic satisfaction?



They need not be mutually exclusive. I can be had with the other


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## lordmayhem

warlock07 said:


> They need not be mutually exclusive. I can be had with the other


:iagree:

Is there something wrong about feeling good about justice being done? WS's call it revenge, while BS's call it justice. Depends on which side of the coin you're on I guess. So guess which side of the coin I'm on?


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## tacoma

Humble Married Man said:


> .
> 
> I agree. Why attempt to turn petty revenge into something more noble? Social justice or sadistic satisfaction?


Sadistic satisfaction indeed, revenge?
Most definitely.

Petty?

Not a bit, not all vengeance is petty. If it were the there would be no need for the adjective.
Considering the absolute totality of destruction the revenge could wreak on a life not to mention the totality of destruction that drives the revenge, petty is an inappropriate descriptive.

This type of revenge is significant.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jonesey

disappointed123 said:


> Im not sure if you are familiar with my story - but my wife had been having an EA with a long distance guy, and also started up a PA with a local guy (she eventually went PA with the guy long distance, after travelling to meet him). I filed several months ago - moved out of town for a new job, and am moving on with my life. She is living with her parents and I am renting the old house. The two OMs dont know about each other, but she has been telling each of them how they are special, etc etc.. and at least telling one of them how much she loves him.
> 
> Well.. I did a lot of investigating and found the long distance guy's wife. Actually, it turns out she was lying about that - he isnt married, but has a live in girlfriend. Very sad, she has a debilitating disease and is not doing so great. I let her know that her husband was a scumbag with copies of emails and proof with details about them meeting up for dinner several times when he was out of town (along with some not so subtle sex emails). I feel for her, but she needs something better in her life.
> 
> The other guy local to her - has a long term girlfriend. I let her know also.. I sent her photos of him naked accompanying naughty emails. ( did this through facebook from HER account. bah ha ) Basically with a 'your boyfriend has been cheating on you with me - here is the proof' ) I didnt have to investigate that - Ive met both him and his GF a long time ago. I just waited a while before I could gather lots and lots of evidence via email.
> 
> I also emailed the emails from/to OM1 to OM2 and vice versa - so they know about each other - with all the juicy details.
> 
> oh revenge, you are delicious. I used an untraceable computer and email account far far out of town.
> 
> Im thinking - I deserve a high-five on this masterful piece of social justice.


You are getting tons of HIGH FIVE from me. Awsome as Barney Stinson would say....:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:


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## Humble Married Man

EleGirl said:


> Something more noble like having 18 or so affairs while married? Your interests in these sorts of threads is interesting, since as a constant cheater, of course the last thing you would support is someone letting the betrayed spouse and the affair partners know what is really going on.


In my view, neither are very noble. The sadistic side of OP's actions balances out the altruistic side. If a BS were to inform another BS of any supposed infidelities, simply as an act of moral and ethical consideration, that would be very noble in my eyes.



warlock07 said:


> They need not be mutually exclusive. I can be had with the other


That's true...and I mispoke. What it boils down to is this: If there is a scale of selflessness v.s selfishness, where would OP's actions be placed? Somewhere in the middle probably.



tacoma said:


> Sadistic satisfaction indeed, revenge?
> Most definitely.
> 
> Petty?
> 
> Not a bit, not all vengeance is petty. If it were the there would be no need for the adjective.
> Considering the absolute totality of destruction the revenge could wreak on a life not to mention the totality of destruction that drives the revenge, petty is an inappropriate descriptive.
> 
> This type of revenge is significant.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Ah, yes. Follow this link. Look at definition number 5.


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## Humble Married Man

DawnD said:


> oddly enough, I was thinking the same thing in the other thread where he told a fWW to tell her husband about the contact she had with her OM. Uh.........how about letting your wife in on your secret little life?


Ah, come now. I don't advocate my behaviour at all. I have met very few WSs that would advocate having an affair.

How many WSs are really that deluded?

Well, probably a decent number.


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## okeydokie

a chest bump and double bro back tap


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## stuckmick

disappointed123 said:


> How about justice to those women who these men are lying to? Where is the justice in them thinking their partners love, cherish, and are true to them? How about the justice in these wronged women finding out their partners are lying, cheating scumbags who are laying down with another man's wife?
> 
> I respectfully disagree, and see that as being the highest order of justice.
> 
> No offense, but : The altitude at which you sit atop your high horse has perhaps starved your brain of oxygen and clouded your thinking?


Completely agree with you.....Rose has some...well , not delusional thinking, maybe somewhat askew. You did the right thing, legalities not withstanding. Everyone on here almost to a person preaches exposure exposure exposure and I think that is the right path to follow. Screw their embarrassment. You think it isnt emabarrassing for the betrayed Rose? and ohgeesh, some people dont wanna know? I say let them know so THEY can make an informed decision about the course of their life. Some people I just dont get.
and Disappointed..good luck in the future.


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## Jellybeans

Jonesey said:


> You are getting tons of HIGH FIVE from me. Awsome as Barney Stinson would say....:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:


Haha. I love Barney Stinson 

Disappointed--have you heard from anyone since you sent out the messages?


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## Almostrecovered




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## tacoma

Humble Married Man said:


> Ah, yes. Follow this link. Look at definition number 5.


Ahh..the dictionary debate.

How original.

I`ll play.

Follow this link.
Read definition number 5.


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## disappointed123

Nothing much going on yet - Im kind of surprised. Her email conversations with LD guy have basically continued without a hitch. Maybe he just doesn't care and his gf doesnt care, or he hasn't said anything yet via email because he may think someone is watching. 

The local guy, doesnt appear to be responding to her texts. He is probably pretty bummed out since he just spent a bunch of money on her for Christmas. idiot.

There is no way in hell they can prove I did anything. Ive never revealed any sources of my info to my stbx.

I wont reveal my sources here either, and as far as anybody is concerned.. I didnt do anything whatsoever.


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## TCx

tacoma said:


> Ahh..the dictionary debate.
> 
> How original.
> 
> I`ll play.
> 
> Follow this link.
> Read definition number 5.


oh, oh, I like this game: presumptuous; any # will do. The cornerstone of justice is the concept of righteous adherence to moral doctrine. 

The problem is that you presume that your moral doctrine is universal; ergo, your actions are presumptuous.

The cornerstone of revenge is to hurt someone for an action performed against you. Well, news flash, your wife was the person that violated your marriage contract, not the AP, or did you have some kind of contract (other than not coveting they neighbors wife) with the AP that we don't know about?

This was spiteful. I'm not bothered whether you feel good about it or not, but given that we're playing the dictionary game, this was spiteful, not noble, because there is no nobility in spite.

This was petty and spiteful; that's the cornerstone of revenge.

Disclosure: I'm a WS.


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## Jellybeans

Almostrecovered said:


>


Funny. I did something similar when my husband cheated.

Kidding. 



disappointed123 said:


> Nothing much going on yet - Im kind of surprised. .


You may not hear anything now but eventually the chips will fall where they will... and then it's popcorn time, baby!


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## tacoma

TCx said:


> oh, oh, I like this game: presumptuous; any # will do.


Fitting for your reply.



> The cornerstone of justice is the concept of righteous adherence to moral doctrine.


Agreed 



> The problem is that you presume that your moral doctrine is universal; ergo, your actions are presumptuous.


Not at all.
I`m quite aware morality is subjective.
This subjectivity is the cause of many human disagreements.
This one included.



> The cornerstone of revenge is to hurt someone for an action performed against you. Well, news flash, your wife was the person that violated your marriage contract, not the AP, or did you have some kind of contract (other than not coveting they neighbors wife) with the AP that we don't know about?


I think you have me confused with the OP.
My wife has not been unfaithful (to my knowledge) nor have I done..anything.



> This was spiteful. I'm not bothered whether you feel good about it or not, but given that we're playing the dictionary game, this was spiteful, not noble, because there is no nobility in spite.


You seem to equate "Justice" with nobility and "Vengeance" with spitefulness.
One does not require the other in either circumstance.
Justice and vengeance can both reside within the same act.

It happens more often than not in fact.




> Disclosure: I'm a WS.


Of course you are.


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## Humble Married Man

tacoma said:


> Ahh..the dictionary debate.
> 
> How original.
> 
> I`ll play.
> 
> Follow this link.
> Read definition number 5.


I thought you said that you wouldn't attempt to rationalise something like this. 

Or perhaps you believe that there is a strong interplay between justice and revenge? Perhaps "justice" is just a prettier word for revenge. Do you agree with that to some degree? If so, than I completely agree with your POV.



TCx said:


> oh, oh, I like this game: presumptuous; any # will do. The cornerstone of justice is the concept of righteous adherence to moral doctrine.
> 
> The problem is that you presume that your moral doctrine is universal; ergo, your actions are presumptuous.
> 
> The cornerstone of revenge is to hurt someone for an action performed against you. Well, news flash, your wife was the person that violated your marriage contract, not the AP, or did you have some kind of contract (other than not coveting they neighbors wife) with the AP that we don't know about?
> 
> This was spiteful. I'm not bothered whether you feel good about it or not, but given that we're playing the dictionary game, this was spiteful, not noble, because there is no nobility in spite.
> 
> This was petty and spiteful; that's the cornerstone of revenge.
> 
> Disclosure: I'm a WS.


See, now I regret posting that dictionary link.

I agree with you. And not because you are a WS. 

OP's form of justice may very well be petty and spiteful. That is why I find all of the backpatting that he has received...interesting.


----------



## Shaggy

disappointed123 said:


> How about justice to those women who these men are lying to? Where is the justice in them thinking their partners love, cherish, and are true to them? How about the justice in these wronged women finding out their partners are lying, cheating scumbags who are laying down with another man's wife?
> 
> I respectfully disagree, and see that as being the highest order of justice.


I agree with you 100% on all these points.

There is something horribly messed up in the world if telling the TRUTH is wrong. 

What you did was tell the truth to people who needed to know it.

Well done.


----------



## Shaggy

disappointed123 said:


> Nothing much going on yet - Im kind of surprised. Her email conversations with LD guy have basically continued without a hitch. Maybe he just doesn't care and his gf doesnt care, or he hasn't said anything yet via email because he may think someone is watching.


It is very possible that the OMGF is trying to decide what to do with the situation. If she's in such a bad way she may be feeling desperate to keep him and may decide to let him be a cheating scumbag. 

Whatever she decides at least she is doing it with knowledge and truth behind her.


----------



## tacoma

Humble Married Man said:


> I thought you said that you wouldn't attempt to rationalise something like this.


I`m not.



> Or perhaps you believe that there is a strong interplay between justice and revenge? Perhaps "justice" is just a prettier word for revenge.


Yes, this exactly.
I don`t believe justice can be completely separated from vengeance.
Justice is most often vengeance in lipstick to some degree.

Of course as you`ve alluded to motivation does play a part in how you label the thing.


----------



## disappointed123

Humble Married Man said:


> I thought you said that you wouldn't attempt to rationalise something like this.
> 
> Or perhaps you believe that there is a strong interplay between justice and revenge? Perhaps "justice" is just a prettier word for revenge. Do you agree with that to some degree? If so, than I completely agree with your POV.
> 
> 
> 
> See, now I regret posting that dictionary link.
> 
> I agree with you. And not because you are a WS.
> 
> OP's form of justice may very well be petty and spiteful. That is why I find all of the backpatting that he has received...interesting.


I don't believe in the adage 'What you don't know wont hurt you'

Sorry, it can and will hurt you. Ever hear of AIDS, or other horrible STDs? You go rubbing nasties with someone other than your significant other, and you run the risk of passing an STD off to an unsuspecting spouse. 

I think the unsuspecting spouse has every right to know that they are at risk of an STD because their husband or boyfriend cheated on them. Therefore, staying quiet and not telling the girlfriends far is more irresponsible than not.

Whether you want to call it justice, vengeance, spiteful, petty, or any other definition - its something I felt needed to be done. Call it whatever you want.


----------



## LuvMyH

Disappointed, I've struggled with this issue for almost three years now and recently, I think I want to do some exposing. The thought or fear of being vindictive has stopped me in the past, but I'm starting to think that maybe it's okay to be vindictive to some people. My birthday is coming up and it's a trigger for me because she was at the club I was celebrating a birthday with my sisters. I was in the dark and now when I think about it, I can't tell you what I'd really like to do to this word salad troll skanky piece of trash. But I think I could settle for letting her husband know the things I know she's been up to since her affair with my husband ended. She's evil and totally deserves it. 

My question has to do with how it will affect me. I don't want to do it and end up feeling worse because I went against my values. So, I want to know how you, or anyone else who has done something similar, really feels about the exposure. Any guilt or bad feelings about it? I'm just afraid that I'm just going through a bad spell and I don't want to do anything that will harm myself emotionally. But right now, I feel like the best birthday present I could give myself would be to bring that b**** down. I don't know what to do, if anything. I admire you for being able to do it. Do you think it made you feel better?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Runs like Dog

I have to wonder if you can shame the shameless.


----------



## disappointed123

LuvMyH said:


> Disappointed, I've struggled with this issue for almost three years now and recently, I think I want to do some exposing. The thought or fear of being vindictive has stopped me in the past, but I'm starting to think that maybe it's okay to be vindictive to some people. My birthday is coming up and it's a trigger for me because she was at the club I was celebrating a birthday with my sisters. I was in the dark and now when I think about it, I can't tell you what I'd really like to do to this word salad troll skanky piece of trash. But I think I could settle for letting her husband know the things I know she's been up to since her affair with my husband ended. She's evil and totally deserves it.
> 
> My question has to do with how it will affect me. I don't want to do it and end up feeling worse because I went against my values. So, I want to know how you, or anyone else who has done something similar, really feels about the exposure. Any guilt or bad feelings about it? I'm just afraid that I'm just going through a bad spell and I don't want to do anything that will harm myself emotionally. But right now, I feel like the best birthday present I could give myself would be to bring that b**** down. I don't know what to do, if anything. I admire you for being able to do it. Do you think it made you feel better?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Im not sure it needs to be all about 'bringing the b*tch down', but more along the lines of feeling better about yourself for doing several things:

1. Exposes the woman as a liar to her partner so that the partner can have a clear view of the person they are with.

2. Prevents her from spreading disease her unsuspecting partner.

3. Brings the b*tch down.


Do I feel better? H E double hockey sticks yes. Maybe that is petty of me. I don't care.


----------



## strugglinghusband

OhGeesh said:


> Then there are people like me that don't want to know!! If my little utopia is fine don't screw it up with your act of revenge......I've told my wife the same thing. "If you have a ONS don't tell me if you are guilt ridden go to therapy or something"
> 
> I've read enough threads, have seen enough divorce, that 9 out of 10 times it's better not to know what skeletons your partner has in the closet. You can add family members and kids to that list too. Principle be damned it makes life suck that is the realist look at all.
> 
> I could give countless examples!! Don't assume the "Spouse" would want to know!!


Are you serious? you would not want to know if you may have been exposed to some type of STD, Skeletons have been known to kill!!!


----------



## LuvMyH

Runs like Dog said:


> I have to wonder if you can shame the shameless.


I'd like to nominate this for post of the year. Lol!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## disappointed123

Runs like Dog said:


> I have to wonder if you can shame the shameless.


In all honesty, I don't think it will affect my stbxw very much. What she truly needs is therapy. I do, actually, wish the best for her and would like her to have help (I've mentioned it to her, but it gets shut down with negativity). I want her to have help - not really for her - but for her son. He doesn't deserve to live the life she wants to provide. I wish I were his biological father so that I could take him away and provide for him like he deserves.

Her parents are not happy with the situation - but she is their little girl. They think she is stupid, but will stand by her no matter what. Its just how it is.


----------



## LuvMyH

Good points, Disappointed. I don't think you're being petty and even if you were, I think it's totally understandable in certain situations. I'm going to keep an eye on this thread. Maybe it can help me figure out what I want to do. Or maybe I'll just live vicariously through others' actions. Who knows? This issue has certainly been in my thoughts alot lately. Thanks for bringing it up. Oh! And high five!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Unsure in Seattle

Excellent, more posters to weed out! *goes to ignore list*



Runs like Dog said:


> I have to wonder if you can shame the shameless.


A fine question. The ex is obviously too far gone up her own ass for this to have much effect... the scum sleeping with her (or hoping to) probably left that kind of shame back some time ago.


----------



## TCx

tacoma said:


> Not at all.
> I`m quite aware morality is subjective.
> This subjectivity is the cause of many human disagreements.
> This one included.


No, actually, this one is very clear; there is nothing subjective about this.

The OP has has probably committed [at least] two crimes (there could be more depending on how he did what he did):

Hacking - by hacking into her FB account
Identity theft - by impersonating his XW
Defamation of Character - possible, depending how he worded the fb messages to the AP's spouses; you actually can defame with the truth
Right to privacy (for the APs) - by using information that was obtained illegally, the OP would also be guilty of violating the OMs right to privacy in many countries (esp in no fault states).

And given that laws are the definition of the rules of a society, which also serve to uphold it's moral set of values, he will have committed legally amoral acts.

Again, according to the law, the OMs did not breach any legal contract with OP by sleeping with his WS. That was his WSs doing and her doing alone.

So, given that there are no laws against committing adultery with someone else's spouse, the OP has no legal (or socially moral) grounds for retaliation. And the OP admits that this was an act of revenge per,



disappointed123 said:


> oh revenge, you are delicious.


So this was an act of revenge which means also means that it was an act of spite. You cannot have revenge without also having spite (or some other synonym). Spite is the intent to cause harm, revenge is the action taken based on the intent. However, you can have spite without revenge, so this is an implication, not an equivalence. For the mathematically inclined:



Code:


revenge --> spite

And given that he had no legal grounds to retaliate, per...



disappointed123 said:


> I used an untraceable computer and email account far far out of town.


So *if* the OP has committed a crime (and that seems likely at this point because I'm rather sure that his W didn't give him permission to impersonate her), he has demonstrated intent to knowingly and willingly commit that crime. Ergo, this was not justice, it was vigilantism.

So what are some other words that the dictionary has to describe this act?


selfish
malicious 
arrogant - because he thinks he he has the right to violate the law because he is 'righteous'
deluded - for thinking this is righteous; it is not
conceited
impertinent
vile
presumptuous

All words that are routinely found in posts where a BS describes a WS. So let's add hypocritical to the list above, shall we?



tacoma said:


> Of course you are.


Yes, I am. I admit it. I accept it. I truly feel sorrow for the pain that my EA has caused. Though I find it interesting that my EA instantly labels me as someone who is worthy of contempt while the BS label that disappointed123 gets him praise? Really?

The OP is morally bankrupt and does not admit it. Does not accept it. Does not feel sorry for the pain that he has caused. And the OP *is* the cause of the pain [blue pill or not], this is mathematically provable. And yet the OP feels good about it claiming "moral righteousness"?

So STDs will no doubt be used to justify this action, which is likely to have violated the law.

Okay, how many of you have had multiple sexual partners in your life (not necessarily at the same time)? Every single one of you is guilty of possibly exposing all of your partners, after your first, to an STD! Some STDs have incubation periods of years. STDs are part of having sex and unless you and your partners are tested, routinely, for STDs, you are just as guilty as any WS. Though, granted if you have been tested since you went monogamous, you carry a lower risk than someone who has never been tested (and I'm betting that most of you hadn't prior to becoming a BS).

@disappointed123 - your WS may have started it, but you are just as selfish and morally bankrupt as you claim your WS is. You have become all that you hate about your WS; feel better?



disappointed123 said:


> No offense, but : The altitude at which you sit atop your high horse has perhaps starved your brain of oxygen and clouded your thinking?


Are you kidding me?

And those of you who are high-fiving him... seriously? You condone and even encourage this kind of behavior which is very likely the result of _illegal conduct_?

*Reality check please!* 

Aside - I will retract my use of the word petty; tacoma was right, there was nothing petty about this heinous act.


----------



## Eli-Zor

Nice for you to pass insults 

"I'd recommend that you ignore anything that the OP says; he's basically just finished masturbating and the metaphorical endorphins are coursing through his system. You should probably pay more attention to the people who've done it a much longer time ago."

and this is from a man who got rejected by a coworker he tried to seduce.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Eli-Zor

" Though I suspect that they would all say that it felt good to expose because they were helping out the other BS and deriving satisfaction from it at the same time. *shrug*

And TAM does appear to be a pro-exposure site."

Outstanding words from a wayard deep in the fog.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Jellybeans

Wait...is TC the poster who cheated on his wife w severaal women and then tried to sleep w his co worker and she denied him since he's married and they work together?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## JustaJerk

Why would exposing someone of cheating/being a cheater be considered vindictive?


----------



## DawnD

Sorry, but if the OW's husband had not contacted me, I might have never known about my H and his affair. That wasn't fair to me to be kept in the dark. As much as it hurt, I am thankful that he did tell me. And I don't honestly care if it felt good for him to do it, because it gave me the truth about my life and my husband.


----------



## Chaparral

TCx said:


> No, actually, this one is very clear; there is nothing subjective about this.
> 
> The OP has has probably committed [at least] two crimes (there could be more depending on how he did what he did):
> 
> Hacking - by hacking into her FB account
> Identity theft - by impersonating his XW
> Defamation of Character - possible, depending how he worded the fb messages to the AP's spouses; you actually can defame with the truth
> Right to privacy (for the APs) - by using information that was obtained illegally, the OP would also be guilty of violating the OMs right to privacy in many countries (esp in no fault states).
> 
> And given that laws are the definition of the rules of a society, which also serve to uphold it's moral set of values, he will have committed legally amoral acts.
> 
> Again, according to the law, the OMs did not breach any legal contract with OP by sleeping with his WS. That was his WSs doing and her doing alone.
> 
> So, given that there are no laws against committing adultery with someone else's spouse, the OP has no legal (or socially moral) grounds for retaliation. And the OP admits that this was an act of revenge per,
> 
> 
> 
> So this was an act of revenge which means also means that it was an act of spite. You cannot have revenge without also having spite (or some other synonym). Spite is the intent to cause harm, revenge is the action taken based on the intent. However, you can have spite without revenge, so this is an implication, not an equivalence. For the mathematically inclined:
> 
> 
> 
> Code:
> 
> 
> revenge --> spite
> 
> And given that he had no legal grounds to retaliate, per...
> 
> 
> 
> So *if* the OP has committed a crime (and that seems likely at this point because I'm rather sure that his W didn't give him permission to impersonate her), he has demonstrated intent to knowingly and willingly commit that crime. Ergo, this was not justice, it was vigilantism.
> 
> So what are some other words that the dictionary has to describe this act?
> 
> 
> selfish
> malicious
> arrogant - because he thinks he he has the right to violate the law because he is 'righteous'
> deluded - for thinking this is righteous; it is not
> conceited
> impertinent
> vile
> presumptuous
> 
> All words that are routinely found in posts where a BS describes a WS. So let's add hypocritical to the list above, shall we?
> 
> 
> 
> Yes, I am. I admit it. I accept it. I truly feel sorrow for the pain that my EA has caused. Though I find it interesting that my EA instantly labels me as someone who is worthy of contempt while the BS label that disappointed123 gets him praise? Really?
> 
> The OP is morally bankrupt and does not admit it. Does not accept it. Does not feel sorry for the pain that he has caused. And the OP *is* the cause of the pain [blue pill or not], this is mathematically provable. And yet the OP feels good about it claiming "moral righteousness"?
> 
> So STDs will no doubt be used to justify this action, which is likely to have violated the law.
> 
> Okay, how many of you have had multiple sexual partners in your life (not necessarily at the same time)? Every single one of you is guilty of possibly exposing all of your partners, after your first, to an STD! Some STDs have incubation periods of years. STDs are part of having sex and unless you and your partners are tested, routinely, for STDs, you are just as guilty as any WS. Though, granted if you have been tested since you went monogamous, you carry a lower risk than someone who has never been tested (and I'm betting that most of you hadn't prior to becoming a BS).
> 
> @disappointed123 - your WS may have started it, but you are just as selfish and morally bankrupt as you claim your WS is. You have become all that you hate about your WS; feel better?
> 
> 
> 
> Are you kidding me?
> 
> And those of you who are high-fiving him... seriously? You condone and even encourage this kind of behavior which is very likely the result of _illegal conduct_?
> 
> *Reality check please!*
> 
> Aside - I will retract my use of the word petty; tacoma was right, there was nothing petty about this heinous act.


This is the kind of reasoning that got you into trouble. Just imagine that the people she was doing was your son or daughter. You would just step back and do nothing? O f course not. But someone elses children you could care less if she gives them aids etc. Your guilt is showing through.

Justice/revenge is just a by product, in this instance, of doing the right thing.

BTW justice is no longer a part of the legal system.

It is always right to out cheaters.


----------



## TCx

chapparal said:


> This is the kind of reasoning that got you into trouble. Just imagine that the people she was doing was your son or daughter. You would just step back and do nothing?


Just imagine that it was your son or daughter having an affair with someone else who was married. Would you proactively intervene on their behalf or would you try to counsel your child and, failing that, let them make their own mistakes because it's their life?


----------



## Chaparral

TCx said:


> Just imagine that it was your son or daughter having an affair with someone else who was married. Would you proactively intervene on their behalf or would you try to counsel your child and, failing that, let them make their own mistakes because it's their life?


My professors were wrong,there are stupid questions. 

Apologizing in advance. Its a morality thing TC.


----------



## TCx

chapparal said:


> My professors were wrong,there are stupid questions.
> 
> Apologizing in advance. Its a morality thing TC.


No apology necessary as the same glib statement applies to your question as well. But in truth, neither one of us was actually asking a question, were we? 

I don't question that you feel morally obligated to expose as you obviously recognize that 'morality' can be ignored when it's the 'right thing' to do.

Just like neither one of us would be taking pleasure from any of this if it were our kids. And we sure as hell wouldn't be high-five-ing over it.


----------



## TCx

And one last thing for those of you who believe in a higher moral code than the law (eg - the Bible):



> You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.
> --Leviticus 19:18


Personally, I'm an agnostic but that doesn't mean that I don't believe that some of the stuff that the bible teaches isn't good and right.

Another one that I like, but not from the bible:



> Forgive others before you forgive yourself


----------



## Shaggy

So dis123, any fall out or reaction yet?


----------



## aug

TCx said:


> And one last thing for those of you who believe in a higher moral code than the law (eg - the Bible):
> 
> 
> 
> 
> You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.
> --Leviticus 19:18
Click to expand...



You shall not commit adultery. _Deut 5:18_

If a man is found lying with a married woman, then both of them shall die. _Deut 22:22_

For the wages of sin is death. _Romans 6:23_


----------



## NaturalHeart

DawnD said:


> Sorry, but if the OW's husband had not contacted me, I might have never known about my H and his affair. That wasn't fair to me to be kept in the dark. As much as it hurt, I am thankful that he did tell me. And I don't honestly care if it felt good for him to do it, because it gave me the truth about my life and my husband.


 
Dawn D, Are you still with your husband?


----------



## DawnD

shaylady said:


> Dawn D, Are you still with your husband?


 I am, and the OW is still with her husband the last time we all talked.


----------



## NaturalHeart

DawnD said:


> I am, and the OW is still with her husband the last time we all talked. [/QUOTE
> 
> 
> Ok, thanks for responding


----------



## adv

tacoma said:


> Everyone around here is always talking about how the BS has the right to know.
> 
> If I don't even know the OMW I could really care less about her rights.
> 
> I'd expose for the sole reason that the OM went out of his way to destroy my life.
> I'll move mountains to return the favor.
> 
> I wouldn't Try to rationalize it by deluding myself I did it for any other reason than self satisfaction.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Tacoma, that is exactly how I feel. Burn them all down if they betray you.


----------



## oaksthorne

TCx said:


> No, actually, this one is very clear; there is nothing subjective about this.
> 
> The OP has has probably committed [at least] two crimes (there could be more depending on how he did what he did):
> 
> Hacking - by hacking into her FB account
> Identity theft - by impersonating his XW
> Defamation of Character - possible, depending how he worded the fb messages to the AP's spouses; you actually can defame with the truth
> Right to privacy (for the APs) - by using information that was obtained illegally, the OP would also be guilty of violating the OMs right to privacy in many countries (esp in no fault states).
> 
> And given that laws are the definition of the rules of a society, which also serve to uphold it's moral set of values, he will have committed legally amoral acts.
> 
> Again, according to the law, the OMs did not breach any legal contract with OP by sleeping with his WS. That was his WSs doing and her doing alone.
> 
> So, given that there are no laws against committing adultery with someone else's spouse, the OP has no legal (or socially moral) grounds for retaliation. And the OP admits that this was an act of revenge per,
> 
> 
> 
> So this was an act of revenge which means also means that it was an act of spite. You cannot have revenge without also having spite (or some other synonym). Spite is the intent to cause harm, revenge is the action taken based on the intent. However, you can have spite without revenge, so this is an implication, not an equivalence. For the mathematically inclined:
> 
> 
> 
> Code:
> 
> 
> revenge --> spite
> 
> And given that he had no legal grounds to retaliate, per...
> 
> 
> 
> So *if* the OP has committed a crime (and that seems likely at this point because I'm rather sure that his W didn't give him permission to impersonate her), he has demonstrated intent to knowingly and willingly commit that crime. Ergo, this was not justice, it was vigilantism.
> 
> So what are some other words that the dictionary has to describe this act?
> 
> 
> selfish
> malicious
> arrogant - because he thinks he he has the right to violate the law because he is 'righteous'
> deluded - for thinking this is righteous; it is not
> conceited
> impertinent
> vile
> presumptuous
> 
> All words that are routinely found in posts where a BS describes a WS. So let's add hypocritical to the list above, shall we?
> 
> 
> 
> Yes, I am. I admit it. I accept it. I truly feel sorrow for the pain that my EA has caused. Though I find it interesting that my EA instantly labels me as someone who is worthy of contempt while the BS label that disappointed123 gets him praise? Really?
> 
> The OP is morally bankrupt and does not admit it. Does not accept it. Does not feel sorry for the pain that he has caused. And the OP *is* the cause of the pain [blue pill or not], this is mathematically provable. And yet the OP feels good about it claiming "moral righteousness"?
> 
> So STDs will no doubt be used to justify this action, which is likely to have violated the law.
> 
> Okay, how many of you have had multiple sexual partners in your life (not necessarily at the same time)? Every single one of you is guilty of possibly exposing all of your partners, after your first, to an STD! Some STDs have incubation periods of years. STDs are part of having sex and unless you and your partners are tested, routinely, for STDs, you are just as guilty as any WS. Though, granted if you have been tested since you went monogamous, you carry a lower risk than someone who has never been tested (and I'm betting that most of you hadn't prior to becoming a BS).
> 
> @disappointed123 - your WS may have started it, but you are just as selfish and morally bankrupt as you claim your WS is. You have become all that you hate about your WS; feel better?
> 
> 
> 
> Are you kidding me?
> 
> And those of you who are high-fiving him... seriously? You condone and even encourage this kind of behavior which is very likely the result of _illegal conduct_?
> 
> *Reality check please!*
> 
> Aside - I will retract my use of the word petty; tacoma was right, there was nothing petty about this heinous act.


You might feel completely different about this if you were the one who was cheated on. Perhaps you don't think destroying another person, through cheating on them is a "heinous act" I am here to tell you that it is. Short of murder or rape ( and I'm not sure about rape) this is the worst thing that you can do to a person you have claimed to love.Reporting a crime is "snitching" to some people, but to the responsible citizen it is just doing the right thing. Exposing a cheater is the right thing to do, and if there is some pleasure derived from that, so be it. It may be the only pleasure that a BS can expect when they are victimized by a cheater and the OM/OW.


----------



## SIP

Good for you for exposing! Everyone deserves to know the truth about who they are involved with or married to. It really doesn't matter how the message got sent. Knowledge is power especially when it involves a cheater. There are two types of people who will be against you exposing ..... Other cheaters and people who prefer fantasy land vs reality. Funny how some of you are quoting from the bible. Did you also refer to the bible when you were lusting after another woman? Did you do your morality check while you were hurting your spouses who YOU promised to love? This person did the right thing! I hope you hear something back and the liars and cheaters realize their are consequences to their actions.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## hookares

I have no ill will toward any cheater who would come to this kind of board and discuss their "point of view". But I do wonder how many members post here pretending to be betrayed spouses or SO's and then admonish REAL betrayed spouses for their reactions to D-day.


----------



## disappointed123

oaksthorne said:


> You might feel completely different about this if you were the one who was cheated on. Perhaps you don't think destroying another person, through cheating on them is a "heinous act" I am here to tell you that it is. Short of murder or rape ( and I'm not sure about rape) this is the worst thing that you can do to a person you have claimed to love.Reporting a crime is "snitching" to some people, but to the responsible citizen it is just doing the right thing. Exposing a cheater is the right thing to do, and if there is some pleasure derived from that, so be it. It may be the only pleasure that a BS can expect when they are victimized by a cheater and the OM/OW.


I love these righteous responses from a cheating spouse.. TCX is a cheater, and will always be a cheater. Of course he takes the side of the cheater. Blaming me for being 'heinous' because I exposed the cheaters as the scum they are?


----------



## disappointed123

TCx said:


> No, actually, this one is very clear; there is nothing subjective about this.
> 
> The OP has has probably committed [at least] two crimes (there could be more depending on how he did what he did):
> 
> Hacking - by hacking into her FB account
> Identity theft - by impersonating his XW
> Defamation of Character - possible, depending how he worded the fb messages to the AP's spouses; you actually can defame with the truth
> Right to privacy (for the APs) - by using information that was obtained illegally, the OP would also be guilty of violating the OMs right to privacy in many countries (esp in no fault states).
> 
> And given that laws are the definition of the rules of a society, which also serve to uphold it's moral set of values, he will have committed legally amoral acts.
> 
> Again, according to the law, the OMs did not breach any legal contract with OP by sleeping with his WS. That was his WSs doing and her doing alone.
> 
> So, given that there are no laws against committing adultery with someone else's spouse, the OP has no legal (or socially moral) grounds for retaliation. And the OP admits that this was an act of revenge per,
> 
> 
> 
> So this was an act of revenge which means also means that it was an act of spite. You cannot have revenge without also having spite (or some other synonym). Spite is the intent to cause harm, revenge is the action taken based on the intent. However, you can have spite without revenge, so this is an implication, not an equivalence. For the mathematically inclined:
> 
> 
> 
> Code:
> 
> 
> revenge --> spite
> 
> And given that he had no legal grounds to retaliate, per...
> 
> 
> 
> So *if* the OP has committed a crime (and that seems likely at this point because I'm rather sure that his W didn't give him permission to impersonate her), he has demonstrated intent to knowingly and willingly commit that crime. Ergo, this was not justice, it was vigilantism.
> 
> So what are some other words that the dictionary has to describe this act?
> 
> 
> selfish
> malicious
> arrogant - because he thinks he he has the right to violate the law because he is 'righteous'
> deluded - for thinking this is righteous; it is not
> conceited
> impertinent
> vile
> presumptuous
> 
> All words that are routinely found in posts where a BS describes a WS. So let's add hypocritical to the list above, shall we?
> 
> 
> 
> Yes, I am. I admit it. I accept it. I truly feel sorrow for the pain that my EA has caused. Though I find it interesting that my EA instantly labels me as someone who is worthy of contempt while the BS label that disappointed123 gets him praise? Really?
> 
> The OP is morally bankrupt and does not admit it. Does not accept it. Does not feel sorry for the pain that he has caused. And the OP *is* the cause of the pain [blue pill or not], this is mathematically provable. And yet the OP feels good about it claiming "moral righteousness"?
> 
> So STDs will no doubt be used to justify this action, which is likely to have violated the law.
> 
> Okay, how many of you have had multiple sexual partners in your life (not necessarily at the same time)? Every single one of you is guilty of possibly exposing all of your partners, after your first, to an STD! Some STDs have incubation periods of years. STDs are part of having sex and unless you and your partners are tested, routinely, for STDs, you are just as guilty as any WS. Though, granted if you have been tested since you went monogamous, you carry a lower risk than someone who has never been tested (and I'm betting that most of you hadn't prior to becoming a BS).
> 
> @disappointed123 - your WS may have started it, but you are just as selfish and morally bankrupt as you claim your WS is. You have become all that you hate about your WS; feel better?
> 
> 
> 
> Are you kidding me?
> 
> And those of you who are high-fiving him... seriously? You condone and even encourage this kind of behavior which is very likely the result of _illegal conduct_?
> 
> *Reality check please!*
> 
> Aside - I will retract my use of the word petty; tacoma was right, there was nothing petty about this heinous act.


From all of your previous posts I gleaned the following:

1. You are not someone that should be teaching lessons in morality. I get it.. You are coming up with excuses to make yourself feel better for being wayward. Sure, of course: Im the bad guy - but the guy cheating on his crippled girlfriend with another man's wife doesn't deserve to be pained in any way? You live on bizarro-earth where everything is backwards. I told OM1 to get lost quite some time ago. He chose not to - he lives with the consequences of the choices he makes. From what I gather - the girlfriend doesn't care, or doesn't read her email, and the guy doesnt care that my wife is banging another dude. Where exactly is society heading if these things are okay?

I have heard zilch from my wife about anything. Im not going to ask. At this point, I dont care. I did the right thing and whatever happens now is beyond my control. IF she moves and marries the guy from out of town - I could care less. Good luck with that - she is a cheater, that's what she does. She is selfish and self-centered with a deep fear of growing older. The more people telling her how great she is the better - this includes men. 

Thanks for the hilarious post. I would say I'm looking forward to your response - but.. you appear to be banned.


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## oaksthorne

disappointed123 said:


> From all of your previous posts I gleaned the following:
> 
> 1. You are not someone that should be teaching lessons in morality.
> 
> 
> Thanks for the hilarious post.


:iagree:iagree::iagree

Oh hell yeah!


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## disappointed123

A weird thing happened. She called me last night - I didnt answer. She left a message saying that her son missed me, and would like to see me, and if they could come up this weekend. She also said she was very sorry for all of the pain she caused me. (really???)

I have not responded, and am not really sure how to respond. On one hand - yes I miss her son, since he was like my own son. On the other hand, Im thinking she is using the son as a ploy to try and get me back? Im kind of confused by this, and really did not expect it at all.

I don't want to get back into the circle of spying - since it doesnt really do me any good at this point... But I am tempted.. Im also tempted to just not call her back at all and let the D go through and wash my hands of it all.


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## dymo

She probably does have some ploy, but the only one who decides whether you go back is you. 

It's up to you whether you respond. If you decide to visit and need something to steel your resolve, all you need to do is read through your old thread.


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## Eli-Zor

She is probably feeling the waters , if she is still in regular contact with either OM then she is not sincere . It's your call if you see her or her son
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## disappointed123

Dont get me wrong, I have no intentions of getting back with her. Its over - I will never trust her again. I just find it very odd. Now, of all times, for her to apologize and try to make me 'feel better' Maybe it has finally dawned on her - that she is and always will be a skank.


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## dymo

If you are sure there is no way you will waver, what do you fear from visiting the son?


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## Unsure in Seattle

It might be best for all involved that you don't get back involved with the son, I'm sorry to say. This is not a person that you want in your life, and her son is (unfortunately) collateral damage from that.


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## Jellybeans

I probably wouldn't meet up with her. Just let her know you are busy and can't meet. See the divorce through.

Seattle hit the nail on the head--the kid seeing you is going to set him back too wtih the divorce. Don't do that to him.


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## dymo

I suppose the question is - do you still want to be a part of her son's life after the divorce? If you do, go visit. If you don't, then it's best to send back a text saying that you're afraid it might send the wrong message.


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## disappointed123

Jellybeans said:


> I probably wouldn't meet up with her. Just let her know you are busy and can't meet. See the divorce through.
> 
> Seattle hit the nail on the head--the kid seeing you is going to set him back too wtih the divorce. Don't do that to him.


Yeah.. I think she still has some fantasy of coming back to me and everything being like it was. I cant go back to taking care of a woman and her child - when she cannot be faithful to me. 

Even if she ends these current relationships with other men, she will just get bored one day and find someone else to cheat with.


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## Jellybeans

That is why it's a good idea to not meet up with her--you are done with her and the marriage.

New beginnings.

Carry on.


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## NaturalHeart

disappointed123 said:


> Yeah.. I think she still has some fantasy of coming back to me and everything being like it was. I cant go back to taking care of a woman and her child - when she cannot be faithful to me.
> 
> Even if she ends these current relationships with other men, she will just get bored one day and find someone else to cheat with.


 
The real question is

DO YOU WANT HER BACK????


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## NaturalHeart

disappointed123 said:


> Im not sure if you are familiar with my story - but my wife had been having an EA with a long distance guy, and also started up a PA with a local guy (she eventually went PA with the guy long distance, after travelling to meet him).* I filed several months ago - moved out of town for a new job*, and am moving on with my life. She is living with her parents and I am renting the old house. The two OMs dont know about each other, but she has been telling each of them how they are special, etc etc.. and at least telling one of them how much she loves him.
> 
> Well.. I did a lot of investigating and found the long distance guy's wife. Actually, it turns out she was lying about that - he isnt married, but has a live in girlfriend. Very sad, she has a debilitating disease and is not doing so great. I let her know that her husband was a scumbag with copies of emails and proof with details about them meeting up for dinner several times when he was out of town (along with some not so subtle sex emails). I feel for her, but she needs something better in her life.
> 
> The other guy local to her - has a long term girlfriend. I let her know also.. I sent her photos of him naked accompanying naughty emails. ( did this through facebook from HER account. bah ha ) Basically with a 'your boyfriend has been cheating on you with me - here is the proof' ) I didnt have to investigate that - Ive met both him and his GF a long time ago. I just waited a while before I could gather lots and lots of evidence via email.
> 
> I also emailed the emails from/to OM1 to OM2 and vice versa - so they know about each other - with all the juicy details.
> 
> oh revenge, you are delicious. I used an untraceable computer and email account far far out of town.
> 
> Im thinking - I deserve a high-five on this masterful piece of social justice.


 

So you're not trying to go back right???


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## Jellybeans

No, he doesn't want her back. They are getting divorced.


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## disappointed123

Jellybeans said:


> No, he doesn't want her back. They are getting divorced.



No, I don't want her back.. Sure, my mind still glosses over how she treated me for so long sometimes, and I think about the good times. She is not who I thought she was. I loved her with my heart and soul - she took that love and abandoned it. I spoke with her over the weekend.

I told her that maybe one day I can see her son again, but now is not the time. I told her that she chose a 'relationship drug' over the man who really took care of her, and took advantage of me for the years we were married. She seemed very remorseful - and said that she needs help in figuring out what is wrong with her - and that I was the best thing in her life. I agreed with her on that point - I was the best thing in her life, and she threw away a good family life for something pointless and stupid. I, in so many words, called her weak. She doesn't have the intestinal fortitude to go through the ups and downs of a relationship without crumbling and looking for an outside high to numb herself from the daily struggles. She said that she had already made an appointment to see a counselor, and asked me to go with her. I declined, told her it was too late - and that when I tried to get her to go to counselling, she lied to him and me.


Nothing was mentioned about contact with the other guys, or if they told her about getting emails or any of that. I haven't been monitoring - as I think that is pointless now that this relationship is over. 


She really sounded sad and pathetic - a shell of what was once my wife. It makes me sad for her and her son, and I hope counselling will help her figure things out. I think some realization has dawned on her finally - and now she has no shoulder to cry on.


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## Dadof3

And she is a discarded piece of a*s to the OM. Her plan B wasn't there for her. So sad! So SAD!

Good luck Disappointed!


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## JustaJerk

Just move on, dude... nuff said.


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## Jellybeans

disappointed123 said:


> I told her that maybe one day I can see her son again, but now is not the time. I told her that she chose a 'relationship drug' over the man who really took care of her, and took advantage of me for the years we were married. She seemed very remorseful - and said that she needs help in figuring out what is wrong with her - and that I was the best thing in her life. I agreed with her on that point - I was the best thing in her life, and she threw away a good family life for something pointless and stupid. I, in so many words, called her weak. She doesn't have the intestinal fortitude to go through the ups and downs of a relationship without crumbling and looking for an outside high to numb herself from the daily struggles. She said that she had already made an appointment to see a counselor, and asked me to go with her. I declined, told her it was too late - and that when I tried to get her to go to counselling, she lied to him and me.
> 
> She really sounded sad and pathetic - a shell of what was once my wife.
> 
> I think some realization has dawned on her finally - and now she has no shoulder to cry on.


It's good you talked to her and explained in no certain terms tat you are completely done. That way she understands there is no going back.

Good luck to you in da future!


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## warlock07

The whole thing is just sad.


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## F-102

Why do people only seem to realize the scope of their mistakes when it's way too late to repair the damage?


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## Jellybeans

People don't usually realize the scope unless there are hard consequences involved. Or until they want to change...for themselves.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## committedwife

RoseRed said:


> Personally I think this such a sad situation. Your actions born out of the evil of spite and revenge. As to informing all the other people, you went into realms that were none of your business. Not just speaking with them, but maliciously sending emails and photos.
> 
> I'm sure you feel good now... but in the end, you come across as a spiteful man to stoop to such a level and lashing out... hell bent on destroying all around you.
> 
> Social justice is about doing good to those in desparate need in love and honor.. a selfless act... not wrecking havoc, pain and anguish to those that are innocent just to satisfy your selfish need for revenge.


I totally disagree. Those poor women had more right than anyone in the world to know what pieces of trash they were involved with. Good for this poster, for exposing the ****roaches to the sun and outing them to their trusting partners! :smthumbup:


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## committedwife

disappointed123 said:


> She said that she had already made an appointment to see a counselor, and asked me to go with her. I declined, told her it was too late - and that when I tried to get her to go to counselling, she lied to him and me.
> 
> 
> Nothing was mentioned about contact with the other guys, or if they told her about getting emails or any of that. I haven't been monitoring - as I think that is pointless now that this relationship is over.
> 
> 
> She really sounded sad and pathetic - a shell of what was once my wife. It makes me sad for her and her son, and I hope counselling will help her figure things out. I think some realization has dawned on her finally - and now she has no shoulder to cry on.


It sounds like they dumped her, and she's trying to use you as her fall-back option.

You're smart to kick her to the curb.


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## Dexter Morgan

disappointed123 said:


> Im not sure if you are familiar with my story - but my wife had been having an EA with a long distance guy, and also started up a PA with a local guy (she eventually went PA with the guy long distance, after travelling to meet him). I filed several months ago - moved out of town for a new job, and am moving on with my life. She is living with her parents and I am renting the old house. The two OMs dont know about each other, but she has been telling each of them how they are special, etc etc.. and at least telling one of them how much she loves him.
> 
> Well.. I did a lot of investigating and found the long distance guy's wife. Actually, it turns out she was lying about that - he isnt married, but has a live in girlfriend. Very sad, she has a debilitating disease and is not doing so great. I let her know that her husband was a scumbag with copies of emails and proof with details about them meeting up for dinner several times when he was out of town (along with some not so subtle sex emails). I feel for her, but she needs something better in her life.
> 
> The other guy local to her - has a long term girlfriend. I let her know also.. I sent her photos of him naked accompanying naughty emails. ( did this through facebook from HER account. bah ha ) Basically with a 'your boyfriend has been cheating on you with me - here is the proof' ) I didnt have to investigate that - Ive met both him and his GF a long time ago. I just waited a while before I could gather lots and lots of evidence via email.
> 
> I also emailed the emails from/to OM1 to OM2 and vice versa - so they know about each other - with all the juicy details.
> 
> oh revenge, you are delicious. I used an untraceable computer and email account far far out of town.
> 
> Im thinking - I deserve a high-five on this masterful piece of social justice.


Great story! Some people will say revenge should be left out of the mind. I can go either way on that.

In my case I simply wanted my wife gone. The revenge? I didn't have to do a thing. She moves in with him, he can't trust her because she has cheated in the past:scratchhead:, and he ends up hitting her. No I don't condone it, but she should feel really stupid now. Of course she had to immediately kick him out with the help of her brothers, otherwise I'd have taken her to court for custody. One of her brothers emailed me and told me how badly she screwed up and if there was ever a chance I'd take her back and he understood when I said when hell freezes over.

I wonder at what point during THEIR affair he decided she was a cheater:rofl:

Yes, revenge is a dish best served cold.


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## Dadof3

Dexter: Sounds like you frequent the karma bus depot.


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## Dexter Morgan

Dadof3 said:


> Dexter: Sounds like you frequent the karma bus depot.


I don't, others do


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## working_together

Jellybeans said:


> People don't usually realize the scope unless there are hard consequences involved. Or until they want to change...for themselves.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:iagree:


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## Dadof3

Dexter Morgan said:


> I don't, others do


Ok - I MEAN to say - you are supplying the Karma bus tickets! 

(to the tune of pencil necked geek)


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## Darth Vader

Dadof3 said:


> Ok - I MEAN to say - you are supplying the Karma bus tickets!
> 
> (to the tune of pencil necked geek)


I'm sure he just watches from a distance, a very long distance!

Hey Dex, what's up? BTW Dex, what's wrong with Loveshack? I can't seem to connect for some reason........

Nevermind, I'm on!


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## Dexter Morgan

Darth Vader said:


> Hey Dex, what's up? BTW Dex, what's wrong with Loveshack? I can't seem to connect for some reason........
> 
> Nevermind, I'm on!


Don't know. Don't care. LS is a site that caters to cheaters and people that have no quams about sleeping with other people's spouses. They need to take the word "love" out of their title. They don't know the first thing about it.


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## working_together

Darth Vader said:


> I'm sure he just watches from a distance, a very long distance!
> 
> Hey Dex, what's up? BTW Dex, what's wrong with Loveshack? I can't seem to connect for some reason........
> 
> Nevermind, I'm on!


The infidelity forum over there sucks!!!!


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## Dexter Morgan

working_together said:


> The infidelity forum over there sucks!!!!


Nope, its the OM/OW section over there that sucks.

Of course you don't like the plain hard truth of the infidelity forum over there. You are a cheater.


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## working_together

Dexter Morgan said:


> Nope, its the OM/OW section over there that sucks.
> 
> Of course you don't like the plain hard truth of the infidelity forum over there. You are a cheater.


Not not at all, I just found the advice as helpful as it was and is here, even with all the harshness, it's a good reality check.


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## Dexter Morgan

working_together said:


> Not not at all, I just found the advice as helpful as it was and is here, even with all the harshness, it's a good reality check.


but you just said it sucks


----------



## Darth Vader

Dexter Morgan said:


> Don't know. Don't care. LS is a site that caters to cheaters and people that have no quams about sleeping with other people's spouses. They need to take the word "love" out of their title. They don't know the first thing about it.


NO! Say it ain't so!:rofl: Yeah, I know what you mean, they even had a couple of revenge cheaters..... A cheater is a cheater, what can I say? No wonder I haven't seen you over there for a while.

Anyway, is it just me, or does it seem the Mods over there are more in favor of the cheaters than for the betrayed. I seem to have sensed that on some level, or maybe that's the fizzy cola I've been drinking........


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## Darth Vader

working_together said:


> The infidelity forum over there sucks!!!!


Oh? So you've been there? How does it suck? I know it blows at times! :rofl:


----------



## Darth Vader

Dexter Morgan said:


> Nope, its the OM/OW section over there that sucks.
> 
> Of course you don't like the plain hard truth of the infidelity forum over there. You are a cheater.


Now that I'll agree with, that OM/OW section is something else! 

There was this one chick over there, can't remember the name now, anyway, she had an affair with the psycho neighbor guy, not one that would hurt or kill you, but, a manipulator, had her all over the place. They both had children, the neighbor guy's wife had money, so he wasn't gonna leave or confess or anything.

The wife, she ended the affair(finally!), but, would not confess to her husband, who the OM had (so called) befriended him during the affair, which is a slap in the husbands face and she knew about the OM befriending him. Turns out, supposedly the OM finally moves away and she didn't see him anymore.


----------



## Darth Vader

Dexter Morgan said:


> but you just said it sucks


I love the way you keep needling things, :lol:


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## Shaggy

I had to stop reading after a few minutes there, wow those people are disgusting.

One thread was them all jumping on a guy who was going to answer truthfully the questions of the OWH after they got caught. The slime on there were calling the cheater out fr breaking the code. 

It would be lovely to out each and everyone one of them.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Darth Vader

Shaggy said:


> I had to stop reading after a few minutes there, wow those people are disgusting.
> 
> One thread was them all jumping on a guy who was going to answer truthfully the questions of the OWH after they got caught. The slime on there were calling the cheater out fr breaking the code.
> 
> It would be lovely to out each and everyone one of them.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Are you kidding? That place is more than a little rough! I agree, some of those cheaters over there are nasty about their sexcapades, even going into great depth about how this one was compared to their husband or whatever, I mean, that adds insult to injury! If their spouse ever found out their WS typed that, even after being in a R for years, the spouse might drop their ass just for that!


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## 67flh

gotta agree with dex and darth, LS has gone down the toilet big time, i'm a member there under a different username, and ALOT of the oldies are gone....sure do miss gunny though


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## Darth Vader

67flh said:


> gotta agree with dex and darth, LS has gone down the toilet big time, i'm a member there under a different username, and ALOT of the oldies are gone....sure do miss gunny though


Hey, whatever happened to Gunny? He just stopped posting all of a sudden!:scratchhead:


----------



## Dexter Morgan

Shaggy said:


> I had to stop reading after a few minutes there, wow those people are disgusting.
> 
> One thread was them all jumping on a guy who was going to answer truthfully the questions of the OWH after they got caught. The slime on there were calling the cheater out fr breaking the code.


If they are calling a cheater out, then they aren't the slime. The cheater is.

And its very rare over there that a cheater seems truly remorseful, or doesn't blame their betrayed partner, or try to justify their cheating. The people who call them on their despicable behavior are not the slime.


----------



## working_together

Darth Vader said:


> Oh? So you've been there? How does it suck? I know it blows at times! :rofl:


Wow, you're so harsh. If you will let me explain....

I was a lurker there for a bit, the OW/OM forum was terrible, but I took what I wanted, trashed the rest.

The infidelity part was just not as helpful as here is what I meant, I find the people here get to the core of the problem, and people get answers etc.

Ok?


----------



## Dexter Morgan

working_together said:


> *The infidelity part was just not as helpful as here* is what I meant, I find the people here get to the core of the problem, and people get answers etc.


The bolded part wouldn't be your mindset because you have cheated could it? Perhaps you didn't like what people where advising other people on how to handle being cheated on because you were on the other side of the coin?

And more times than not, getting "to the core of the problem" usually means, "what did you do to cause your partner to cheat"

Seems too many cheaters' idea of the problem is the finger points at their betrayed partner.


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## 67flh

gunny was talking about moving to texas where his mom still lives, he did post 1 reply to a thread about a month ago, and promply disappered again.


----------



## Darth Vader

67flh said:


> gunny was talking about moving to texas where his mom still lives, he did post 1 reply to a thread about a month ago, and promply disappered again.


Well, at least he's alright as far as we can tell.


----------



## Darth Vader

working_together said:


> Wow, you're so harsh. If you will let me explain....
> 
> I was a lurker there for a bit, the OW/OM forum was terrible, but I took what I wanted, trashed the rest.
> 
> The infidelity part was just not as helpful as here is what I meant, I find the people here get to the core of the problem, and people get answers etc.
> 
> Ok?


Ah, I know what you meant! Sheesh!

But, Dex does have a point, I suggest re-reading his posts. I know you were being sarcastic about the harsh thing, now Dex, I've seen him go off! He's almost as harsh as me! :smthumbup:


----------

