# Vasectomy low sex appeal



## Lonelygent1977 (Feb 20, 2018)

Hey guys and girls I'm just curious has anyone seen any study's on men losing there sex appeal to women once they know that he is sterile and can no longer father children.
My wife's did after our second child and it was then that I had a vasectomy.

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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Lonelygent1977 said:


> Hey guys and girls I'm just curious has anyone seen any study's on men losing there sex appeal to women once they know that he is sterile and can no longer father children.
> My wife's did after our second child and it was then that I had a vasectomy.
> 
> Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk


Are you sure you don't have the cart before the horse? Is it not more likely that the woman has a decline in libido once she doesn't want children anymore instead of guy losing his appeal to her? Or she is inundated with taking care of the kids all day long. Subtle difference there.There are definitely studies on this...
Don't blame everything on your balls..


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## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

inmyprime said:


> Are you sure you don't have the cart before the horse? Is it not more likely that the woman has a decline in libido once she doesn't want children anymore instead of guy losing his appeal to her? Or she is inundated with taking care of the kids all day long. Subtle difference there.There are definitely studies on this...
> Don't blame everything on your balls..


I think this is more to the truth. Once she fulfills her biological imperative to have children, she may not see much of a point in you except for a wallet.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

On the other hand, you may find that the loss of the fear of unwanted pregnancy combined with no more birth control hassles gets you more action, or at least no reduction. That was my experience.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

UpsideDownWorld11 said:


> I think this is more to the truth. Once she fulfills her biological imperative to have children, she may not see much of a point in you except for a wallet.



LOL. Nah, you LOVE women...really 

OP, I don't think a woman who does not want children would find a man who had a vasectomy less appealing. In fact, it might make you MORE appealing because she won't have to worry about BC


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Cletus said:


> On the other hand, you may find that the loss of the fear of unwanted pregnancy combined with no more birth control hassles gets you more action, or at least no reduction. That was my experience.


Similar experience here.


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## ButWeAreStrange (Feb 2, 2018)

After my husband's vasectomy our sex life sky-rocketed. Now we don't have any fears of pregnancy or need to slow down or stop for any reason. I wouldn't say that his sex appeal to me necessarily rose, since he's always been my fantasy come to life, but having the extra uninhibited aspects has made my being able to initiate and pounce him whenever I want much more organic, and to some extent more aggressive. Nothing is more sexy than wanting your spouse and knowing there is no reason not to have them when and where you want.


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

Personally, I wouldn't tell a woman about a vasectomy since you should still be using condoms for STD prevention unless you are in a long term exclusive relationship. I've known people whose girlfriends didn't know they had a vasectomy get pregnant and claim they were the father, which was pretty hilarious. But, if you are married and neither partner wants more kids, then in general women are thrilled by a vasectomy.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

I think a woman's sex drive is much more related to her stress level and emotional state than her desire for children or state of fertility. When my wife has no stress and is happy she wants sex all the time, give her stress and and feeling bad or angry about something she won't. But I haven't been snipped she has an IUD.


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## I shouldnthave (Apr 11, 2018)

As someone who doesn't want kids. Vasectomies are hot!

It doesn't change your pheromones, and unless told a woman would have no way of knowing.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

I shouldnthave said:


> As someone who doesn't want kids. Vasectomies are hot!
> 
> It doesn't change your pheromones, and unless told a woman would have no way of knowing.


But do they not get all depressed by not being able to get out anymore? There's something inhumane about vasectomies, I cannot quite put my finger on what it is.


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## I shouldnthave (Apr 11, 2018)

inmyprime said:


> But do they not get all depressed by not being able to get out anymore? There's something inhumane about vasectomies, I cannot quite put my finger on what it is.


This is completely out of the realm of thought process.

Spermatozoa become depressed?! What if someone doesn't have sex or masturbate. That means his testicles are full of sad little buddies?

I just do not think like this.... Doesn't seem inhuman to me at all. And actually much more "natural" than the majority of birth control metheds available to women (hormones to make the body think its pregnant, insertion of foreign objects).


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

My wife had two potentially life threatening pregnancies. The first gave her gestational diabetes, and she was heading down the road toward pre-eclampsia. She was confined to bed for a month in the middle of that one. Our daughter was born without any problems, and during the pregnancy, she lost about 15 pounds due to the heavily restricted diet her OB put her on. (We later discovered that he had hurt several patients with this, and got rid of him as a physician.) Her second pregnancy, was a bit of an accident, we had so much difficulty getting pregnant the first time the second was a complete and happy surprise. Until month six, when she started spotting. Our new OB ordered a bunch of tests, and it was discovered that my son was placenta previa (now that no longer surprises me, as my son is apt to paint himself into a corner-highly preoccupied). She was confined to bed for the last three months. I quit my job to go to another that would afford me a day off once a week to take my wife to the doctors.

So, when my son was born, I said that I am NOT going to risk her life again. I got a referral, and saw a urologist. We booked my surgery for a time where my wife could drive me home. It is very lucky that I opted for a vasectomy. My doctor was thorough, he felt that my right testes was suspicious and opened the scrotum a little more to have a look. He was right, I already had a precancerous lesion. I recalled being kicked fairly severely when I played HS football (I considered my self lucky that I did not suffer any bone breaks or separations, guess I wasn't as lucky as I thought), he removed it and said I was probably working with only one functional testes for years. I will tell you one thing, sex is so much better when you do not have to worry about an unwanted pregnancy. She never felt good on the pill, and IUD's at the time were crap (my wife was asst CFO at a women's health cooperative (read abortion clinic), and the product has improved radically since then) finally, her getting sterilized made absolutely no sense whatsoever. After two or three days of discomfort, the feeling of being kicked in the nuts hard subsided. A month later, and I was showing no sperm, and wow. Sex without precautions. Who'd a thunk it? It was incredibly liberating. OK so we really had to wait until they were both out of the house to really get down to the get down, however, two horny 60-somethings in great shape, and realllllly into one another. Fun.....wow! 

I found my vasectomy to be the most sexually liberating event of my life. Our sex life, which was always good, got better. A few more tweaks over the years like losing 130lbs and getting into great shape, (her shape is pretty damn good, always was) has just enhanced a good situation.


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

I shouldnthave said:


> This is completely out of the realm of thought process.
> 
> Spermatozoa become depressed?!


I was assuming it was a joke. Please?


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

I shouldnthave said:


> unless told a woman would have no way of knowing.


It's a bit like the gag: "how do you find out if someone has done an ironman?" (or "is a vegan?")
Answer: you don't need to find out, they will tell you. Same with vasectomy. 
I knew a "playah" who lost no time in informing everyone he met that he'd had one. 
It didn't seem to hurt his success rate.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Laurentium said:


> I was assuming it was a joke. Please?


It was. But the spermatozoids don't think it's funny at all.


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## Etomidate (Mar 10, 2018)

Cletus said:


> On the other hand, you may find that the loss of the fear of unwanted pregnancy combined with no more birth control hassles gets you more action, or at least no reduction. That was my experience.


Yup, this was my experience as well. We went from once per week or once every two weeks to twice per week. My wife had her tubes tied with the c-section she had for our daughter and the increase has been consistent.


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## MapMan (Dec 11, 2015)

Two perspectives: after our second child, my wife's sex drive diminished. I'm sure there are many factors, including bring tired, having accomplished the biological imperative and our mutual weight gain. You were no doubt helping her more, which is great, but also tends to be a sexual turn off. Your wife's sex drive it's only dormant. You need to work on yourself to become "the guy she would cheat with". You've got time to work on yourself at the gym and your confidence. So I have 2 kids and don't plan on more. I have resisted getting a vasectomy for the very reason that it will affect my wife's sex drive.

I say it on nearly every post, but if you want the real explanation, read Athol Kay's "Married man sex life" and don't beg your wife for sex. And bear in mind that a woman isn't aware of all the things that attract her.


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## I shouldnthave (Apr 11, 2018)

MapMan said:


> I have resisted getting a vasectomy for the very reason that it will affect my wife's sex drive.


Do you have evidence to support this claim other than "bear in mind that a woman isn't aware of all the things that attract her"?

I guess its something I can't wrap my head around, because the risk of pregnancy has always been a deterrent from sex for me, not a motivation. 

Sex with reduced chances of unwanted outcomes seems like it would be more desirable.


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## Lonelygent1977 (Feb 20, 2018)

I'm thinking on a biological level once my wife knew I was sterile, subconsciously she didn't see me as a viable mate, just a thought or she screwing the window cleaner lol

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## ButWeAreStrange (Feb 2, 2018)

I find myself wondering if the same men who worry about their wives finding them less sexually appealing because of sterility would flip the script on themselves and question their own wife's sex appeal if she no longer could reproduce. 

In my own case, we always figured that when we were done having children that my husband would get a vasectomy and when the time came, he did. It was minimally invasive, and he was back on his feet in a day or two. Little did we know that two years down the line at I'd be losing my uterus, cervix and both fallopian tubes anyways, and yet neither of us regret having that sterility. We've both ended our ability to procreate at young ages (him at 30, me at 27) and it's opened up a whole new level of intimacy and liberation as sexual partners. 

He's never once found my sex appeal dwindle because of my lack of equipment just as I have never found him to be anything less than the fantasy-come-to-life that he always has been for me. This could also be due to the fact that, despite both of us desiring children in our lives, ultimately we desired _each other_ as friends, partners, and lovers. I chose to spend my life with _him_, not his vas deferens. I feel like if someone finds they've lost interest in their partner due to a change in their fertility-potential, then they probably were not together for much more than a procreative desire anyways.


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

Lonelygent1977 said:


> I'm thinking on a biological level once my wife knew I was sterile, subconsciously she didn't see me as a viable mate


But surely if that were so, then people wouldn't want or enjoy sex with ANY kind of contraception? Why just vasectomy?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Bananapeel said:


> Personally, I wouldn't tell a woman about a vasectomy since you should still be using condoms for STD prevention unless you are in a long term exclusive relationship. *I've known people whose girlfriends didn't know they had a vasectomy get pregnant and claim they were the father, which was pretty hilarious.* But, if you are married and neither partner wants more kids, then in general women are thrilled by a vasectomy.


:lol: :rofl:
@Taxman, you got any stories like this?


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

Gus
Got nothing on this. Mine turned out to be a lifesaver. I do have one who had it done while the wife was on a business trip. He revealed it after she announced a pregnancy. A few very unhappy months where she swore up and down that she had not screwed someone else. T
Her story unravelled when she was forced into a pre-natal DNA test. Her boss was even more unhappy when his wife was informed of a new child on the way.

So, the former boss is really unhappy now, as she used the prenup to kick him out of his business, and their home. He cannot make the support payments, being unemployed, pretty much blacklisted, but my client is overjoyed. He has pretty much taken the lion share of their assets (exWW idiotically put in an infidelity clause in their prenup, as she came into the marriage with a lot more, and left with Jack Schitt)
He also took up briefly with the boss’ ex, just to put a knife deeper into the boss, who runs around telling everyone that the lousiest lay of his life cost him everything. That’s entertainment.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Whatever happened to client confidentiality?


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## MapMan (Dec 11, 2015)

I shouldnthave said:


> MapMan said:
> 
> 
> > I have resisted getting a vasectomy for the very reason that it will affect my wife's sex drive.
> ...


I can't prove it, of course. It's just a feeling, like when I pat her on the behind in the evening, she tells me how she doesn't like it, but is coincidentally very up for it later that night. The book detailed it all, I followed and it worked like a magic trick. I'm sure you know things that you use with your man that work on him, you just never considered men using tricks.

There is research on sexuality, where researchers have connected electrodes to the genitalia of men and women and then shown them pictures of different people, couples and even animals mating. They were asked for each picture or video if they were aroused or not. Men were pretty accurate, but women weren't as aware of when they were physically aroused. It does seem possible that nature makes sexual selection more complex and perhaps more insightful for women since it has more serous consequences and that it's much deeper than the immediate consciousness.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

OP, I think you are connecting two unrelated events. IOW I do not think your vasectomy has anything to do with your wife's reduced sexual attraction to you, except in your mind. While I agree that some women may fear sex due to the chance of pregnancy, I doubt that, especially in a committed LTR such as a marriage, the fact that YOU are now sterile is somehow frowned upon by your wife resulting in a lower sexual attraction. More likely, in your head you felt as though things should improve due to no chances of another pregnancy, while she may be feeling somewhat less frisky due to the increase in responsibility with two children. Hopefully this is just a temporary situation which will eventually balance itself out as you move forward.


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## dadstartingover (Oct 23, 2015)

Kids ruin sex lives. It just happens. A lot. Not always, of course.

Kids | Dad Starting Over


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## MapMan (Dec 11, 2015)

dadstartingover said:


> Kids ruin sex lives. It just happens. A lot. Not always, of course.
> 
> Kids | Dad Starting Overee


It's true, at least for a while


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

MapMan said:


> ….researchers have connected electrodes to the genitalia of men and women and then shown them pictures of different people, couples and even animals mating. They were asked for each picture or video if they were aroused or not.


Is there a home test version?


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## SA2017 (Dec 27, 2016)

Here is a voice of a woman. I once met a very attractive man when I was single. I was so turned off when he told me that he is fixed. I lost interest and didn't bother to keep dating him. Is a big turn off to me. Don't ask me why. lol Just being honest.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

ButWeAreStrange said:


> After my husband's vasectomy our sex life sky-rocketed. Now we don't have any fears of pregnancy or need to slow down or stop for any reason. I wouldn't say that his sex appeal to me necessarily rose, since he's always been my fantasy come to life, but having the extra uninhibited aspects has made my being able to initiate and pounce him whenever I want much more organic, and to some extent more aggressive. Nothing is more sexy than wanting your spouse and knowing there is no reason not to have them when and where you want.


Same for us. W stopping BC pills / side effects was a big inducer for us. For data, thankfully I've never had any of the V issues, most don't. We'd had our kids at that point obviously. At least W had them.....I was a volunteer at their "start" if you will. &#55357;&#56842;.

I did put off the V until I was ready. W was ready 5 years before me. I was 40. I didn't want any more kids no matter what. Ours we're near 18 at the time. (Both of us our only kids)


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## Mstanton (Feb 8, 2011)

I would think it would depend on what age the man had the vasectomy. If you're past 35... usually women by that time have decided to not have children, or are just 'open' but have no real plans about it.

I'm guessing you're at least that age because it's hard to find doctors that will do it to men under 35 (unless they already have children).


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

I think that since a man without a vasectomy has retained his ability to have children, he remains somewhat dangerous in his wife/so eyes and possibly more desirable. There is more pressure to retain the man since he can go elsewhere and have more children who are then in competition with the first wifes kids for affection and money.

Tamat


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## I shouldnthave (Apr 11, 2018)

TAMAT said:


> I think that since a man without a vasectomy has retained his ability to have children, he remains somewhat dangerous in his wife/so eyes and possibly more desirable. There is more pressure to retain the man since he can go elsewhere and have more children who are then in competition with the first wifes kids for affection and money.
> 
> Tamat


Ha! I was thinking he was "dangerous" to have sex with because with him there is a risk of unwanted pregnancy. 

I don't know, maybe there are baby hungry women out there that think like this. But to me, its an absolutely bizarre thought pattern. That a woman wouldn't be sexually attracted to a man - because if he were to cheat on her, there isn't a risk of him impregnating someone else. 

Are infertile men (by means other than vasectomy) often refused sex or found unattractive by their spouses? curious to hear if anyone has experienced that.


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## bkyln309 (Feb 1, 2015)

Not me. I love men with the V! No risk of having kids. No BC needed. Love them fixed men!


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## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

Mutilation of a working part of a man's (or woman's) body ain't sexy.

One minute you're fully functional, but after the knitting needle gets put down the end of your penis, minutes later... no longer fully functional. Isn't that the definition of mutilation?

I'd rather do almost anything than have any sort of snipping done to my genitalia.

Natural Family Planning actually works... probably need to be married and committed to each other though. Nothing is sexier than a woman giving herself to you with full understanding that she might be having your baby!

Children don't ruin lives. They make life worth living! They only ruin your little self centered existence.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

CatholicDad said:


> Mutilation of a working part of a man's (or woman's) body ain't sexy.
> 
> One minute you're fully functional, but after the knitting needle gets put down the end of your penis, minutes later... no longer fully functional. Isn't that the definition of mutilation?
> 
> ...


Most vasectomies are done with a laser during an office visitand leave a very small wound on the testicles that heals rapidly within a few days. No knitting needles involved.

NFP works IF practiced correctly. Meaning, the woman is aware of and accurately tracking her fertility AND she and her husband are willing to forego sex on the days she could conceive. 

Having to turn my husband away because I may be fertile isn't sexy. Having sex knowing we may conceive isn't sexy, either. It's stressful and anxiety inducing. Not to mention, there are people with severe health issues (mental or physical) who shouldn't risk pregnancy.

I agree that kids don't ruin your life, but the reality is that too many kids can absolutely make life...difficult. Both for the parents AND existing children.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

CatholicDad said:


> Mutilation of a working part of a man's (or woman's) body ain't sexy.
> 
> One minute you're fully functional, but after the knitting needle gets put down the end of your penis, minutes later... no longer fully functional. Isn't that the definition of mutilation?
> 
> ...


I first want to say, I have two lovely children who are the lights of my life.

Your post irritated me such that I'm posting a response. Not everyone is a Catholic, or a Catholic who wants to populate the world.

Some families only have children to the extent they have the resources to care for them excellently. Some families think none, one, or two children make the perfect family size.

Sometimes it's SELFISH to have a lot of children.

Maybe it's selfish to have them at all, given the state of this Earth. Take a look at the Earth's population lately? Read about "carrying capacity" and starvation? Maybe you should.

To the OP, maybe your wife's decline in interest had nothing to do with your vasectomy. If you two are done having children I'd think it would be a plus, not a negative. Unless she was only having sex with you to begin with in order to get pregnant.


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