# Ladies, Any tips?



## sarah.rslp (Jan 2, 2009)

So hubby and I finally christened his new office. We've been planning it for a while and after a hectic few weeks it was a bit of an occassion for us.

So the sex was brilliant but... the first time we did it I came quite a while before hubby. Its just something about me that after I orgasm I stop lubricating, I'm not one of those women blessed with multiple orgasams.

Anyway ususally its not a problem for me the first time in a night, hubby knows that to have sex a second or third time we'll have to use lots of lubricant and usually a combination of vaginal and oral sex and typically everthing is fine.

Anywho this time the sex was initally absolutly brilliant, I was kind of surprised when I orgasamed after a few minutes, then of course I stopped lubricating and the sex became uncomfortable. I didn't want to ruin the whole thing by stopping to put on lubricant so Ijust carried on. I didn't really realise till after that I was getting as sore as I was.

It kind of ruined the whole night for me cause I was sore for the next two shags we had. Like I said hubby knows from experience that after the first time we have to use loads of lubricant and he has to stop and start to give me a chance to recover. 

I've always been like that but up untill recently the first shag of a night I've always been fine, the bloke can hammer away at me with no problem. Initially I actually lubricate really quickly (I'm an easy date) but I just stop after I orgasm the first time.

So is my physiology completly weird or do other women have similiar experiences and tips how I can adjust.


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

your just so normal. nothing wrong with you at all.
i wouldnt worry as long as your H is considerate and knows you, your fine.
if you do a combination of things during sex, then again your prolonging your sexual stimulation.
we can only produce so much fluid . even the experts lol.
the internal organs like a man - swell up with stimulation.
there bound to get sore. no different to any other types of friction.
only so much the body can take.
i do alot of anal sex ( safely) . this in combination with foreplay of the vaginal area is a turn on.
also do you ask him to tell you what he is doing to you, try being crude during sex.
find something other than your normal routine and change might increase further episodes of stimulation.
these are just tips to try.
when you have vaginal sex , has he played with the back door at the same time.
these again are just other methods . if you try you might like. 
but at the same time your changing your brain thoughts as new fantasies develop and more a turn on.


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## sarah.rslp (Jan 2, 2009)

justean said:


> your just so normal. nothing wrong with you at all.
> i wouldnt worry as long as your H is considerate and knows you, your fine.
> if you do a combination of things during sex, then again your prolonging your sexual stimulation.
> we can only produce so much fluid . even the experts lol.
> ...


Does anal sex make you wet? for me the few times I did it , it did just the opposite. I had one bf that liked to play with my bum (when I let him) cause it would me contract vaginally but actually making me wet ... nope.

Besides any sort of anal sex and hubby is a no no. It never really did anything for me anyway so we're both happy on that front.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

justean said:


> also do you ask him to tell you what he is doing to you, try being crude during sex.


Mrs. Twain who is now 47 was making less and less fluid. However when she hinted that she likes "dirty talk" and I started trying it, she got wetter. But the problem is I'm not very good at it. She like the "building site" type crudeness, and I'm more into philosophy and quantum physics.

Anyhow, I have noticed that if I come out with the right word or phrase during sex, she gets wetter that second!

Actually thinking about it, what she really likes is if I say really cheeky things to her with total c0cky confidence


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

whatever you dont like is fine. as for anal sex , better if the vagina being stimulated at the same time.
i dont use lubrication.
but when i used to i did find that as its not a natural body fluid. it can cause you to dry up quicker as well. it can be like a body reaction to a foreign body. 

to mark - cruder the better for me. 
works most times. very horny . if your W likes it crude and she enjoys it, tell her you like f***ing her etc . tell her what she feels like down below. how wet she feels around your c***.
but i leave this crude talk for the bedroom. its personal to you both.
you can be good at it. its just getin past the barrier of saying the words, because they are naughty.


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## sarah.rslp (Jan 2, 2009)

justean said:


> whatever you dont like is fine. as for anal sex , better if the vagina being stimulated at the same time.
> i dont use lubrication.
> but when i used to i did find that as its not a natural body fluid. it can cause you to dry up quicker as well. it can be like a body reaction to a foreign body.


Ever since I started having sex I've had problems staying wet after I've orgasamed its never really been a problem cause after I came I was always willing to finish the bloke with a blowjob which typically they loved so everybody was happy.

Hubby is quite different sexually from previous men I've been with. It took him a while to accept that oral sex would have to be a part of our sex life. So our routine we worked out is that the first time we shag it'll be purely vaginal and after that it'll be a mixture of oral and vaginal.

Even now the sex is still good I will orgasam but its starting to affect hubby, the first shag of the night when we're able to do it purely by how aroused I am is quite important to him I think. 

Another thing I should have mentioned is that I like sex to be quite rough the first time, which is the reason I don't think hubby realises when I go dry.


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## marina72 (Dec 29, 2008)

Sarah, I think you sound pretty normal, in terms of the lubrication thing. I think what it goes back to is, since you're orgasm is coming before your done with penetration, it's only natural that your body doesn't continue to make the large amounts of lube, that it did earlier in the encounter, it's like your body has had it's release, and then it's not needed as much, strictly speaking in a physiological sense. But, since you're still wanting to have sex , and sometimes are still actually haivng intercourse, and are drying up a bit, I'd just stop, and do some oral, him on you and vice versa, if he's into that, and then some more foreplay , maybe to get you wet again, and then resume intercourse? I know, it might be hard for him to stop in the middle. 

For me and my hubby, we do oral before and during. We frequently stop penetration, for me to give him some more oral, or him to give me more, and then resume penetration again. I do sometimes have to get out the ky jelly! haha... when you get to be in your 30's lube doesn't come as easily as it did in my 20's,,, especially if we are doing it after I've already ovulated. I am much wetter in the week leading up to, and the day of ovulation. then I dry up, till my next cycle begins anew. sounds like you two have a fun sex life. just go with the flow, and let him know it's not a turn on thing, so much as a physiological thing?


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## sarah.rslp (Jan 2, 2009)

marina72 said:


> Sarah, I think you sound pretty normal, in terms of the lubrication thing. I think what it goes back to is, since you're orgasm is coming before your done with penetration, it's only natural that your body doesn't continue to make the large amounts of lube, that it did earlier in the encounter, it's like your body has had it's release, and then it's not needed as much, strictly speaking in a physiological sense. But, since you're still wanting to have sex , and sometimes are still actually haivng intercourse, and are drying up a bit, I'd just stop, and do some oral, him on you and vice versa, if he's into that, and then some more foreplay , maybe to get you wet again, and then resume intercourse? I know, it might be hard for him to stop in the middle.
> 
> For me and my hubby, we do oral before and during. We frequently stop penetration, for me to give him some more oral, or him to give me more, and then resume penetration again. I do sometimes have to get out the ky jelly! haha... when you get to be in your 30's lube doesn't come as easily as it did in my 20's,,, especially if we are doing it after I've already ovulated. I am much wetter in the week leading up to, and the day of ovulation. then I dry up, till my next cycle begins anew. sounds like you two have a fun sex life. just go with the flow, and let him know it's not a turn on thing, so much as a physiological thing?


I've never really noticed any effect my cycle might have on how wet I get. I think its pretty uniform.

Anywho the thing is we both kind of compromised when it came to sex, hubby more than me. He wasn't comfortable with a lot of things especially my preference for slightly rougher sex, but he knew it made me happy.

He took a long time to get used to me using a combination of vaginal and oral sex. The trade of for him was that at least for the first time we'd do it natural, I'd be wet enough that I wouldn't have to use lubricant and we'd keep going till we both finished, after the first shag of the night we'd switch over to a mixture of stuff.

So I don't want to give up on that. I think in a way I kind of got in a rut with previous bf's. They used love it when I came cause I'd let them finish in my mouth. Anywho that's not hubby's scene so I need to get a grip somehow.

A few weeks ago we were snogging and I came just by hubby rubbing me.When we went upstairs afterwards I had to use lubricant and I could tell he was dissapointed, and it wasn't an especially nice feeling for me.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

sarah.rslp said:


> A few weeks ago we were snogging and I came just by hubby rubbing me.When we went upstairs afterwards I had to use lubricant and I could tell he was dissapointed, and it wasn't an especially nice feeling for me.


Interesting...
In practising semen retention, I've had to learn to put off cumming indefinitely. Do you have any control over when you cum?


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## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

sarah.rslp said:


> I think in a way I kind of got in a rut with previous bf's. They used love it when I came cause I'd let them finish in my mouth.


Can I give you my wife's cell phone number? 

She likes giving oral but there are 2 things that hasn't ever happened and probably won't.

1. No giving oral after vaginal, she thinks its gross to "taste herself".

2. No finishing in her mouth.


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## marina72 (Dec 29, 2008)

I love to give my hubby oral after he's been inside me, it doesn't seem gross to me, but everyone is different. 
As long as a girl is clean and doesn't have any kind of yeast, or other problem to worry about, it's not that bad. 

I can't lie though, even though I love giving oral to my man, and dont' mind doing it even after he's been inside me... I have tried letting him cum in my mouth, and I almost threw up.... seriously. I just couldn't do it. It's just so thick, and sticky, and I'd rather give him a great blow job, and either finish him off by making love to him, or with my hand, then barf all over his penis. That's just me... as for me, I don't cum when he gives me oral, for some reasno it's just not something I do, so he is safe when he's down there haha... he doesn't mind going down on me, once he's been inside me either... 

I have tried it letting him finish in my mouth, I just can't handle it, and he understands, and has never asked me to do it again. He is very loving. I also gave the anal thing a go , but, to be honest, we discussed it, and neither one of us really enjoyed it all that much, I did tell him I'd try again , if he really really wanted me to, but he knew it hurt me a bit, and so he said it wasn't something that we needed to try again, unless I wanted to. A partner can only do what they can do. just have to find some common ground. so we have anal very rarely... and he doesn't mind. I guess he prefers vaginal and oral sex, as a lot of men do.


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## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

marina72 said:


> I love to give my hubby oral after he's been inside me, it doesn't seem gross to me, but everyone is different.
> As long as a girl is clean and doesn't have any kind of yeast, or other problem to worry about, it's not that bad.
> 
> I can't lie though, even though I love giving oral to my man, and dont' mind doing it even after he's been inside me... I have tried letting him cum in my mouth, and I almost threw up.... seriously. I just couldn't do it. It's just so thick, and sticky, and I'd rather give him a great blow job, and either finish him off by making love to him, or with my hand, then barf all over his penis. That's just me... as for me, I don't cum when he gives me oral, for some reasno it's just not something I do, so he is safe when he's down there haha... he doesn't mind going down on me, once he's been inside me either...
> ...



1. I don't think its really the "taste" of herself, as I've told her she "tastes" just fine, I think its a mental thing about giving me oral after I've been inside her.

2. She's right with you on the finishing in her mouth, she really might puke, and that's the reason I've NEVER pushed for her to even try it. I want her to enjoy giving oral, not do something she hates just for me.

3. She actually loves anal, I'm indifferent to it. I'd much rather have oral or vaginal sex than anal, the only time I would ever want anal is if she's visiting aunt flow, still wants sex, but doesn't want it there...then I'm all for whatever she wants to do.

I don't think I ever initiate anal, she does. For some reason she loves it.


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## marina72 (Dec 29, 2008)

yeah some women and men really love anal, which I think is fine. We've done it a couple times, and it usually hurts me, and I guess he likes it, but he says that he prefers vaginal , and oral like you. I guess it's all in who you are. As long as it is a consentual thing , I guess it works.


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## sarah.rslp (Jan 2, 2009)

marina72 said:


> I can't lie though, even though I love giving oral to my man, and dont' mind doing it even after he's been inside me... I have tried letting him cum in my mouth, and I almost threw up.... seriously. I just couldn't do it. It's just so thick, and sticky, and I'd rather give him a great blow job, and either finish him off by making love to him, or with my hand, then barf all over his penis.


I've never really had a problem with swallowing. I've found that I never actually taste the semen if I swallow straight away. While if you hold it in your mouth long enough to find someplace to spit it out the taste stays for ages.

As for letting guys finish in my mouth, if you get them to pull out in time it just ends up with either you or them having to wank him to finish and it just ruins the whole atmos for me. It just seems more discrete to swallow.

every guy I was i with prior to hubby loved finishing orally. Instead of being pissed of that I wasn't able to let them finish in me vaginally a lot of the time they'd actually aim to last longer.
It made for a terrific shag for me cause they'd really go at it just so they could get a blowjob to finish.

Then when I met hubby I had to get out of the habit.


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## marina72 (Dec 29, 2008)

well, I tried it, and just couldn't do it, so for me, gagging like I just ate something disgusting, and heaving while hovering over his penis, is more of a mood killer, than jerking him off, which he loves. But most of the time I give him a bit of oral, as foreplay, and then we have intercourse, so it works out fine. I do sometimes just give him a blow job, with no sex afterwards, and if I do that, then I just finish him off with my hand. I don't take my mouth off till right before he's about to cum, and we don't mind the mess.. Everyone is different though. I just know it's not something I can do, and he understands, thank goodness. I'm lucky he doesn't pester me about it.  He's a great guy , I know how much men love being able to finish in a woman's mouth, but for me, it's just too extreme.


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## marina72 (Dec 29, 2008)

then again, I am the type , that can't even take cough medicine without gagging.... so, I probly didn't have a prayer of doing that successfully.


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## Junebug (Dec 7, 2008)

Have you tried making him understand that it's not that you are turned off, or it's anything that he's done, that makes you lose lubrication? It sounds like he's really hung up on you being wet... Maybe if you can help him understand it's not him, it's a normal thing, maybe he can understand. From what I understand it gets worse for many women as they get older too.

My hubby found the most wonderful lubricant- it's call "Oh My" and it's a natural, hemp based lubricant. It has no scent, no flavor, no anything (although they actually do make some scented, my bad, I just hate scented lube so I never use it). You seriously can not even tell the difference with this stuff and it last a really, really long time. It looks, feel, smells and tastes like the real thing. Not sure if it's available in your part of the world, but it's worth investigating!! It's so good that once in awhile if I'm not turned on and hubby is, I will use a little before we start because I know I will get turned on a soon as we get busy, and he can't tell the difference.

It sounds like you are both letting an issue mother nature caused and you can't fix to be a hang up in your sex life. Get past it and enjoy better sex!!!


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## sarah.rslp (Jan 2, 2009)

Junebug said:


> Have you tried making him understand that it's not that you are turned off, or it's anything that he's done, that makes you lose lubrication? It sounds like he's really hung up on you being wet... Maybe if you can help him understand it's not him, it's a normal thing, maybe he can understand. From what I understand it gets worse for many women as they get older too.


The thing is that hubby has already made a lot of compromises in our sex life. So 15 mins of vaginal sex without me having to stop half way through isn't really a lot to answer for. He's not hung up on me being wet, but he sees it as an important part of sex



Junebug said:


> My hubby found the most wonderful lubricant- it's call "Oh My" and it's a natural, hemp based lubricant. It has no scent, no flavor, no anything (although they actually do make some scented, my bad, I just hate scented lube so I never use it). You seriously can not even tell the difference with this stuff and it last a really, really long time. It looks, feel, smells and tastes like the real thing. Not sure if it's available in your part of the world, but it's worth investigating!! It's so good that once in awhile if I'm not turned on and hubby is, I will use a little before we start because I know I will get turned on a soon as we get busy, and he can't tell the difference.


That's a good idea I really haven't paid much attention to the type of lubricant I use. I buy different types and I've never really noticed any difference in how long they last. I'm usually wet before I even get my knickers off, I'll stay wet for at most 20 mins or untill after I orgasam after that I'm typically done for the night.



Junebug said:


> It sounds like you are both letting an issue mother nature caused and you can't fix to be a hang up in your sex life. Get past it and enjoy better sex!!!


I should probably clarrify that both me and hubby are both incredibly satisfied sexually, its just that I'm getting a bit sore is all.


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## marina72 (Dec 29, 2008)

if all it is, is that you're sore, then use some extra lube.


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