# My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never paid



## Louiesweet143

*My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never paid*

I have been married to my wife for 8 years and dated her for 4 years. We are religious Catholics and married her as a virgin. Now that we are happily married for 8 years we have no children but are both healthy. We have decided against doing artificial insemenation. 

Here we go! My wife’s closest friend always knew a lot about me and she knows how I am. My wife is completely safe with her and trusts her fully. Over the years her friend would do things now that I look back on that are questionable. When it comes to pictures she is next to me and her butt is rubbing my hand. When we are out somewhere she bumps me with her butt as she moves past me. Very subtle things but now I know it’s more than mistakes. 

Fast forward my wife, her friend, and I are currently in business together. Things have really escalated like her comments about me being sped or blind etc. My wife cancelled her gym membership with us and randomly her friend shows up at the gym asking me how to do certain workouts. I am so confused. 

I have in passing mentioned 3 some to my wife jokingly and my wife literally went crazy!! But things kept on escalating with her friend where she gets cold and then comes with her next move! I asked my wife in a nice way and she said her friend thinks of me as a “brother / mentor”. 

I need help! The latest is I was at gym and I tested her when she asked me how to do a certain workout and started demonstrating by touching her “appropriately” but with emphasis. She did not shy away! My wife asked us to not workout with each other but her friend seems to occasionally pop up for her flirting session!! 

Is my wife involved? Is this a side thing her friend is doing? My wife is completely religious and has a guilty conscience. Her friend is religious too. Help please


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## sunsetmist

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*

My guess, your wife is NOT involved. This woman is neither her friend or yours. Business together is trouble. You have been playing with her so long that friend thinks you are into her. STAY AWAY from this woman if you want to save your marriage. Even better, ask your wife after describing all girlfriends moves over the years? comfortable with that?


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## niceguy47460

Why did your wife cancel her gym membership .


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## NobodySpecial

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*

Talk to your wife. Don't make "passing comments". Tell her exactly what has occurred. Tell her it bothers you and that you plan to speak directly to the friend barring any objections from wife. Do NOT ***** foot around.


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## personofinterest

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*



Louiesweet143 said:


> I have been married to my wife for 8 years and dated her for 4 years. We are religious Catholics and married her as a virgin. Now that we are happily married for 8 years we have no children but are both healthy. We have decided against doing artificial insemenation.
> 
> Here we go! My wife’s closest friend always knew a lot about me and she knows how I am. My wife is completely safe with her and trusts her fully. Over the years her friend would do things now that I look back on that are questionable. When it comes to pictures she is next to me and her butt is rubbing my hand. When we are out somewhere she bumps me with her butt as she moves past me. Very subtle things but now I know it’s more than mistakes.
> 
> Fast forward my wife, her friend, and I are currently in business together. Things have really escalated like her comments about me being sped or blind etc. My wife cancelled her gym membership with us and randomly her friend shows up at the gym asking me how to do certain workouts. I am so confused.
> 
> I have in passing mentioned 3 some to my wife jokingly and my wife literally went crazy!! But things kept on escalating with her friend where she gets cold and then comes with her next move! I asked my wife in a nice way and she said her friend thinks of me as a “brother / mentor”.
> 
> I need help! The latest is I was at gym and I tested her when she asked me how to do a certain workout and started demonstrating by touching her “appropriately” but with emphasis. She did not shy away! My wife asked us to not workout with each other but her friend seems to occasionally pop up for her flirting session!!
> 
> Is my wife involved? Is this a side thing her friend is doing? My wife is completely religious and has a guilty conscience. Her friend is religious too. Help please


I'm just going to be blunt.

These kinds of questions are almost amusingly rhetorical to me. IF you are indeed a faithful man, you KNOW she is hitting on you and you KNOW what to do about it.

You shut it down. Immediately.

The fact that you are analyzing and pondering and "joking" about 3somes tells me YOU are already flirting with the idea of cheating and just want to twist yourself into a "poor victim" of her wiles.

Stop it. If you love your wife and actually BELIEVE the religion you claim to practice, this is WRONG.

Next time she "accidentally" touches you or makes a remark, tell her to knock it off, and tell your wife.

This isn't rocket science, and you already KNOW what to do.

Don';t lie to us or yourself.


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## niceguy47460

And maybe you should ask the friend what she ment about being sped or blind and the other comments . 

And why would your wife ask you to not workout together . 

Why would your wife feel guilty .


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## jorgegene

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*

you are in a tough spot, because not only are you friends, but work associates. delicate matter.

but it seems to me, the only good answer is to be blunt and risk the fall-out.

but the fall-out will not be worse than your current situation, even if it means she quits or the friendship suffers.

blunt. meaning "cut the crap. right now. period"


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## EllisRedding

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*

Maybe I missed it, but what does artificial insemination have to do with anything (sorry, spidey senses were tingling lol)?


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## Louiesweet143

So my wife doesn’t like the gym. We have sex 2-4 times per week. Her bff is single in her mid 30s. I treat her like a sister but now that I look back there are times when she flirted with me but I never caught. 

My wife and I are religious pray together! She undermines her friend flirting but exaggerating when I mess around! So I’m wondering if my wife can be quietly involved in some way!


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## NobodySpecial

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*



Louiesweet143 said:


> So my wife doesn’t like the gym. We have sex 2-4 times per week. Her bff is single in her mid 30s. I treat her like a sister but now that I look back there are times when she flirted with me but I never caught.
> 
> My wife and I are religious pray together! She undermines her friend flirting but exaggerating when I mess around! So I’m wondering if my wife can be quietly involved in some way!


You don't like the advice you have already gotten?


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## Louiesweet143

She is bff of my wife 30 years. I married my wife a Virgin but her friend was always around as the 3rd wheel. But I never thought of it that way. Now she has made it a mission to let me know she is being flirty. She goes hot and cold ! It’s so weird to me. I’m trying to see if my wife has a hand in on it. I approached her and my wife went nuts!


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## NextTimeAround

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*

Put your own foot down. Tell your wife you do not want to alone with thus woman. Let your wife communicate with her, not you. 
that means when she contacts, leave it to your wife to respond. If this woman asks why the change, both you and your wife just say cheerfully that you are busy. if she presses further, question this woman as to whether this woman thinks your wife is good enough to communicate with her.

If this woman doesn't "get it" after that, then either she lacks emotional intelligence or she is determined to break up your marriage. I would start considering an exit plan for her,.


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## sokillme

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*



personofinterest said:


> I'm just going to be blunt.
> 
> These kinds of questions are almost amusingly rhetorical to me. IF you are indeed a faithful man, you KNOW she is hitting on you and you KNOW what to do about it.
> 
> You shut it down. Immediately.
> 
> The fact that you are analyzing and pondering and "joking" about 3somes tells me YOU are already flirting with the idea of cheating and just want to twist yourself into a "poor victim" of her wiles.
> 
> Stop it. If you love your wife and actually BELIEVE the religion you claim to practice, this is WRONG.
> 
> Next time she "accidentally" touches you or makes a remark, tell her to knock it off, and tell your wife.
> 
> This isn't rocket science, and you already KNOW what to do.
> 
> Don';t lie to us or yourself.


I can't believe I am going to say this but I agree completely with @personofinterest. If you let it be known that there is not a chance and to cut it out she will get the message. I would then tell your wife that her friend is not to be trusted. 

Years ago, I had someone's girlfriend do this in my small circle of friends. It's started with me, asking to do stuff, I could tell what was up so I always said "you mean you, my friend and I go an do stuff"? She got the message but ended up going on until one of our friends wasn't so disciplined. That guy doesn't see us as much anymore. 

Don't be flattered, your wife's friend is screwed up, it has nothing to do with your attractiveness. People with normal boundaries don't do this stuff.


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## NobodySpecial

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*



Louiesweet143 said:


> She is bff of my wife 30 years. I married my wife a Virgin but her friend was always around as the 3rd wheel. But I never thought of it that way. Now she has made it a mission to let me know she is being flirty. She goes hot and cold ! It’s so weird to me. I’m trying to see if my wife has a hand in on it. I approached her and my wife went nuts!


So, I will take that as a No. You don't want to read or think about any of the advice you have already gotten.


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## Louiesweet143

Listen guys and gals!!! My whole point is to know does my wife have anything to do with this! Forget whether I’m going to bang the girl lol. That is not the case. My worry is if my wife wants me to bang her friend as if she clueless!!!!! My wife and I have great sex 2-4 times per week. Her friend has been around us all our relationship and I like that my wife has a friend because I don’t feel so smothered. My marriage has been solid! 

I tested the bfff by touching her while working out and I made a comment like “ I hope your not going to slap me after the workout hahaha “ and she ignored the comment. I rode home upset cause I thought she was going to stop me from touching her!! She is cold now. But she will show up 1 time again at the gym this week. That has been the theme!


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## personofinterest

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*



Louiesweet143 said:


> So my wife doesn’t like the gym. We have sex 2-4 times per week. Her bff is single in her mid 30s. I treat her like a sister but now that I look back there are times when she flirted with me but I never caught.
> 
> My wife and I are religious pray together! She undermines her friend flirting but exaggerating when I mess around! So I’m wondering if my wife can be quietly involved in some way!


She's not involved. You WANT her to be because of some 3some fantasy. But she's not.

Stop that.


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## personofinterest

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*



Louiesweet143 said:


> Listen guys and gals!!! My whole point is to know does my wife have anything to do with this! Forget whether I’m going to bang the girl lol. That is not the case. My worry is if my wife wants me to bang her friend as if she clueless!!!!! My wife and I have great sex 2-4 times per week. Her friend has been around us all our relationship and I like that my wife has a friend because I don’t feel so smothered. My marriage has been solid!
> 
> I tested the bfff by touching her while working out and I made a comment like “ I hope your not going to slap me after the workout hahaha “ and she ignored the comment. I rode home upset cause I thought she was going to stop me from touching her!! She is cold now. But she will show up 1 time again at the gym this week. That has been the theme!


She. Does. Not.

Stop entertaining this idea. Stop this woman. Cut off the flirting.

Be a faithful man of God and STOP IT

Your wayward mindset is obvious.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*



Louiesweet143 said:


> Listen guys and gals!!! My whole point is to know does my wife have anything to do with this!



It is exceedingly unusual for _any _wife to be "behind" something like this. It would be even more unusual for your wife given your description.

Methinks you are letting your imagination run wild... in a very unhealthy and disrespectful way.

Now..... if you honestly think your wife may be playing a part in this, there's nothing you can really do is except ask her. She's gonna' know a lot more about what is or isn't going on than any of us trying to glean nuggets from your fantasy fueled narrative. 

But think carefully before you do. If your wife is as you describe her, you're probably barking up a very wrong tree and she's likely to find such a suggestion insulting, disrespectful, and corrosive to the trust and bonding in your marriage. 

But none of us can tell you what's going on here. You probably already know if you can set aside the ego being fueled by your fantasy world and maybe this other possibly disturbed and integrity-less woman.


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## Louiesweet143

Okay yes! I have approached my wife and she has went nuts. Cries that she is 100 percent transparent. We’re so good! But but but my life has been an uphill battle from the get go! This right here has thrown me on a loop! I don’t want a 3 way. I want to feel at ease knowing I KNOW my wife. I’m praying she has nothing to do with this! But why does her friend go through my wife to end up at the gym at same time. She tells my wife she’s comfortable with me cause I’m not a pervert!


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## personofinterest

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*

Why do you care so much

Unless you are interested?

If you are not interested in becoming a scuzzy cheater, just STOP thinking about it.


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## NobodySpecial

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*



Louiesweet143 said:


> Listen guys and gals!!! My whole point is to know does my wife have anything to do with this!


Ask her. Duh.




> Forget whether I’m going to bang the girl lol. That is not the case. My worry is if my wife wants me to bang her friend as if she clueless!!!!! My wife and I have great sex 2-4 times per week. Her friend has been around us all our relationship and I like that my wife has a friend because I don’t feel so smothered. My marriage has been solid!
> 
> I tested the bfff by touching her while working out and I made a comment like “ I hope your not going to slap me after the workout hahaha “ and she ignored the comment. I rode home upset cause I thought she was going to stop me from touching her!! She is cold now. But she will show up 1 time again at the gym this week. That has been the theme!


So there it is. You want your wife to "have anything to do with this". Your brain has gone all hot. I wonder if you are imagining her supposed flirting. Full stop on all this BS. Like NOW. You will not like where this goes if you keep playing with fire.


hahahaha NOT


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## NobodySpecial

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*



Louiesweet143 said:


> Okay yes! I have approached my wife and she has went nuts. Cries that she is 100 percent transparent. We’re so good! But but but my life has been an uphill battle from the get go! This right here has thrown me on a loop! I don’t want a 3 way. I want to feel at ease knowing I KNOW my wife. I’m praying she has nothing to do with this! But why does her friend go through my wife to end up at the gym at same time. She tells my wife she’s comfortable with me cause I’m not a pervert!


Woa. Wait. Your risking blaming your wife for what exactly? Crying? Being in the same universe as a friend who may be flirting with you? Dude, get the flirtation stopped if that is what it is. And just stop this weird flight of fancy.


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## 3Xnocharm

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*

Seems pretty simple for you to open your mouth and tell the friend to knock it the F off.


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## Andy1001

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*



Louiesweet143 said:


> Okay yes! I have approached my wife and she has went nuts. Cries that she is 100 percent transparent. We’re so good! But but but my life has been an uphill battle from the get go! This right here has thrown me on a loop! I don’t want a 3 way. I want to feel at ease knowing I KNOW my wife. I’m praying she has nothing to do with this! But why does her friend go through my wife to end up at the gym at same time. She tells my wife she’s comfortable with me cause I’m not a pervert!


Dream on Romeo.
I’m finding it hard to believe that anyone can be so ****in stupid as you are coming across. 
If this tale is true (and I have my doubts) then you and your wife’s skanky friend are putting your wife in a horrible situation. She is praying that her best friend isn’t really hitting on her husband and all the while said husband is asking for a threesome.
Though part of me is wondering if this is a **** test concocted by your wife and her friend to see what sort of man she married. 
Either way you are looking like an ******* so far.


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## Louiesweet143

Okay 👌🏻 so my wife has no idea she has a jealous friend who has been stalking me. Now I let this go on to see if my wife has anything to do with this. I’m not a cheater and have not cheated. But I also don’t like to be reactive when assessing a situation. Thanks for the help but it seems like you all have considered me a cheater! I tested this bff once cause I thought to myself this can’t be the case! But guess the F what it is! So this is a single bff move. 

Now should I test her again? And put a stop to it ? Or just lay it down next time it happens. I sort of want to embarrass her make it look like I’m down to do it???


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## NextTimeAround

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*



Louiesweet143 said:


> Okay 👌🏻 so my wife has no idea she has a jealous friend who has been stalking me. Now I let this go on to see if my wife has anything to do with this. I’m not a cheater and have not cheated. But I also don’t like to be reactive when assessing a situation. Thanks for the help but it seems like you all have considered me a cheater! I tested this bff once cause I thought to myself this can’t be the case! But guess the F what it is! So this is a single bff move.
> 
> *Now should I test her again? And put a stop to it ? Or just lay it down next time it happens. I sort of want to embarrass her make it look like I’m down to do it???
> *


I already advised you to stop responding to this woman and let your wife do it. Do you have a problem with that course of action?


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## FieryHairedLady

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*

Dude you are being set up.

1.) This "bf" is setting a trap for you to fall into adultery with her. DON'T DO IT!! 

OR:

2.) This "bf" & wife is setting a trap for you, to see if you WILL fall into adultery with the "bf". DON'T DO IT!! 

Sit down and have a conversation with YOUR wife. Tell her you think this "bf" is crossing the line and you want NO part of it. 

You and your wife need to give this "bf" a good swift kick to the curb! She is no friend of your wife's, and no friend of this marriage!


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## NobodySpecial

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*



Louiesweet143 said:


> Okay 👌🏻 so *my wife has no idea *she has a jealous friend who has been stalking me. Now I let this go on *to see if my wife has anything to do with this*. I’m not a cheater and have not cheated. But I also don’t like to be reactive when assessing a situation. Thanks for the help but it seems like you all have considered me a cheater! I tested this bff once cause I thought to myself this can’t be the case! But guess the F what it is! So this is a single bff move.
> 
> Now should I test her again? And put a stop to it ? Or just lay it down next time it happens. *I sort of want to embarrass her make it look like I’m down to do it*???


Test WHO? The friend? WHY? Re the italics, play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Get off the Days of Our Lives script, tell this woman that that behavior, putting her butt places or whatever, is UNWELCOME. Period. End of discussion.


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## Louiesweet143

Okay I have told my wife last month!!! We had this conversation about our group messages are too meshed! I completely backed away. My wife told her bff nicely! But now she has moved from the group text to coming front and center at the gym! She even came to a yoga class with my wife’s permission 1 time couple weeks ago. I have taken the course of action you have suggested. This is completely REAL! No bs no gimmicks. I flirted back only 1 time to see if I was reading it correctly. 

I don’t want a 3some. I even made a comment to the bff but she goes on and off. So now I have been minding my own business and told my wife and still ongoing. 

That is why I’m thinking is wifey playing dumb??? We do have great sex!


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## EllisRedding

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*



Louiesweet143 said:


> Listen guys and gals!!! My whole point is to know does my wife have anything to do with this! Forget whether I’m going to bang the girl lol.


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## 3Xnocharm

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*



3Xnocharm said:


> Seems pretty simple for you to open your mouth and tell the friend to knock it the F off.


AGAIN..... Seems pretty simple for you to open your mouth and tell the friend to knock it the F off.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*

Ask them both to supper one night.

Open a couple bottles of wine.

Option 1. Try and have a threesome. 

Option 2. Tactfully tell the buff in front of the W that you're so very happy with your wife and sex life. Tactfully. 

Either way, problem solved.


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## EllisRedding

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*

Honestly, the only way you will know, next time you and your Ws bff are alone, tear each others clothes off and hump like it is the last day on earth. If your W jumps out from behind the couch and yells "SURPRISE", then you will know she was behind this all along >


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## Ursula

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*

Personally, I don’t feel that religion has anything to do with this. This comes down to a question of morals, and being an honest, stand-up human being. That being said, your moral compass needs adjusting as well as the moral compass of your wife’s BFF, and neither of your guys are being very good people to your wife.

Your wife has asked you not to workout with her friend, and then you question whether or not your wife is involved? Of course she’s not.

Here’s what I would do, if I were you, and wanted to save my marriage:

1. go to a different gym location, or just quit altogether and maybe signup at a totally different gym. Better yet, setup a small facility in your home for you and your wife to use.

2. Get into counselling

3. If you don’t want to go to counselling, go talk to your reverend/minister/priest.

4. When doing business together, ensure that your wife is the one who deals one-on-one with her friend; not you. Do NOT be in a room alone with her.

5. Is her friend married? If so, talk to the husband


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## ConanHub

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*

Well....you could get her friend pregnant and have a love child with her, or maybe just chill out because even if the friend is a little flirty, it isn't the big deal you are making it out to be.

Mrs. C and I have close friends that we do a lot more flirting with than you have described.

Does the friend act the same around your wife?


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## NextTimeAround

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*

A lot of purportedly religious people out there who have committed adultery ......

Have at it then, I say.


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## Taxman

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*

First, quit the gym and join another with your wife. Do not tell BFF. Second, when she comes on, move away; my best friend made no bones about it for years that if I were out of the picture, he would go after my wife. I told my wife about it in his presence, the audible ewwwwww made him go white, and made his wife give him a dirty look that was well worth the price of admission. Then my wife started making comments about his weight, in his presence. I do not think that he is so inclined to hit on her now. Besides, his wife will hit him.

There is only one way to play this game, DON'T play. Move to another gym, and tell your wife NOT to tell her friend. Maybe your wife would like this gym better. Do anything you can think of to push this woman away. She is not a friend to the marriage and your wife is blissfully blind to her friend's machinations


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## Louiesweet143

Her friend is single. She protects and behaves around my wife. My wife wants everything on surface around friend which has been the case. The only time me and BFF are alone is when she pops up at gym telling me on the group text with my Wife she is going there.

I tried telling my wife! I have ignored bff multiple times and even told her to cut it out and she ignores it! 

I don’t want 3 some. I’m morally correct and have not cheated. I tried what has been suggested. Now I’m getting heat for being dumb and naive. Maybe I should cheat and become a genius to you guys!! LOL 

The bff is single never been married but always was on the outskirts of my marriage. Married my wife a virgin and she loves our sex life. 

I just wanted to know whether my wife was pushing this at me from another angle. At the end of the day we all sin! But how bad?


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## NobodySpecial

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*



Louiesweet143 said:


> Her friend is single. She protects and behaves around my wife. My wife wants everything on surface around friend which has been the case. The only time me and BFF are alone is when she pops up at gym telling me on the group text with my Wife she is going there.
> 
> I tried telling my wife! I have ignored bff multiple times and even told her to cut it out and she ignores it!
> 
> I don’t want 3 some. I’m morally correct and have not cheated. I tried what has been suggested. Now I’m getting heat for being dumb and naive. Maybe I should cheat and become a genius to you guys!! LOL
> 
> The bff is single never been married but always was on the outskirts of my marriage. Married my wife a virgin and she loves our sex life.
> 
> *I just wanted to know whether my wife was pushing this at me from another angle*. At the end of the day we all sin! But how bad?


Jesus H Christ on a bicycle. You are a piece of work.

1. You asked her. Not only did she say no, she was quite upset as you are basically accusing her of serious duplicity.
2. You played a pretty messed up game with the supposed "friend" with your trying to "catch" her. 
3. You need off this messed up ride.

No more seeing her without your wife around ever. If she says she is going when you are, leave. Get a new gym. Whatever you have to do, you do that.


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## Ursula

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*



Louiesweet143 said:


> Listen guys and gals!!! *My whole point is to know does my wife have anything to do with this! Forget whether I’m going to bang the girl lol. That is not the case. *My worry is if my wife wants me to bang her friend as if she clueless!!!!! My wife and I have great sex 2-4 times per week. Her friend has been around us all our relationship and I like that my wife has a friend because I don’t feel so smothered. My marriage has been solid!
> 
> I tested the bfff by touching her while working out and I made a comment like “ I hope your not going to slap me after the workout hahaha “ and she ignored the comment. I rode home upset cause I thought she was going to stop me from touching her!! She is cold now. But she will show up 1 time again at the gym this week. That has been the theme!


No, your wife has nothing to do with this.
Do not touch your wife's "friend" again. Keep your hands, lips and other body parts only for your wife.



Louiesweet143 said:


> *Now should I test her again?* And put a stop to it ? Or just lay it down next time it happens. I sort of want to embarrass her make it look like I’m down to do it???


Oh my God, are you serious?!? Put a stop to this, like now. If your wife's friend makes a grab for you, you grab that hand of hers (only to get her attention), look her dead in the eyes, and tell her that this stops, now. Then, you walk away.


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## personofinterest

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*



Louiesweet143 said:


> Okay 👌🏻 so my wife has no idea she has a jealous friend who has been stalking me. Now I let this go on to see if my wife has anything to do with this. I’m not a cheater and have not cheated. But I also don’t like to be reactive when assessing a situation. Thanks for the help but it seems like you all have considered me a cheater! I tested this bff once cause I thought to myself this can’t be the case! But guess the F what it is! So this is a single bff move.
> 
> Now should I test her again? And put a stop to it ? Or just lay it down next time it happens. I sort of want to embarrass her make it look like I’m down to do it???


No you do not test her.

Look, dear, no one here is a fool. The only reason you are letting this go on and touching hr to "test" her is because you enjoy it. You might try to fool yourself and your wife, but you are NOT fooling anyone here.

I predict that within 6 months you'll be back here asking advice on how to tell your wife you cheated with her best friend.


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## personofinterest

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*



Louiesweet143 said:


> Okay I have told my wife last month!!! We had this conversation about our group messages are too meshed! I completely backed away. My wife told her bff nicely! But now she has moved from the group text to coming front and center at the gym! She even came to a yoga class with my wife’s permission 1 time couple weeks ago. I have taken the course of action you have suggested. This is completely REAL! No bs no gimmicks. I flirted back only 1 time to see if I was reading it correctly.
> 
> *I don’t want a 3some. I even made a comment to the bff *but she goes on and off. So now I have been minding my own business and told my wife and still ongoing.
> 
> That is why I’m thinking is wifey playing dumb??? We do have great sex!


Dude, you are already acting like a rotten cheater. Knock it off! You cannot be this dense.


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## EllisRedding

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*



personofinterest said:


> Dude, you are already acting like a rotten cheater. Knock it off! You cannot be this dense.


It's April 1st ...


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## personofinterest

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*



Louiesweet143 said:


> Her friend is single. She protects and behaves around my wife. My wife wants everything on surface around friend which has been the case. The only time me and BFF are alone is when she pops up at gym telling me on the group text with my Wife she is going there.
> 
> I tried telling my wife! I have ignored bff multiple times and even told her to cut it out and she ignores it!
> 
> I don’t want 3 some. I’m morally correct and have not cheated. I tried what has been suggested. Now I’m getting heat for being dumb and naive. Maybe I should cheat and become a genius to you guys!! LOL
> 
> The bff is single never been married but always was on the outskirts of my marriage. Married my wife a virgin and she loves our sex life.
> 
> I just wanted to know whether my wife was pushing this at me from another angle. At the end of the day we all sin! But how bad?


No. Your. Wife. Is. Not Pushing. You.

NO

STOP THIS!


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## ConanHub

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*

If your wife is behind this perceived, by you, set up, she is deranged and probably belongs in a facility.

Do you think your wife is deranged?

That is actually the question you are asking. Her friend would have a screw loose as well.

Is the friend screwed up mentally?

Are you the only mentally healthy person in this situation?

Regardless, I think you two need counseling.


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## Louiesweet143

Okay guys thanks. And yes I am niave! That is why I am asking. I even used to get random Instagram messages! Now that I think about it, it was her! I cut off instagram barely go on. So now I will just move forward and ignore. But honestly I don’t want my wife to be around her. The problem is they have been friends for 30 years. I don’t want this to become a blame game. Just like all you are blaming me for getting hit on! Lol relax joking 🙃. Thanks everyone!


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## Spicy

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*



EllisRedding said:


> It's April 1st ...


And Spring Break. C’mon guys.


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## Ursula

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*



NobodySpecial said:


> *Jesus H Christ on a bicycle. You are a piece of work.*
> 
> 1. You asked her. Not only did she say no, she was quite upset as you are basically accusing her of serious duplicity.
> 2. You played a pretty messed up game with the supposed "friend" with your trying to "catch" her.
> 3. You need off this messed up ride.
> 
> No more seeing her without your wife around ever. If she says she is going when you are, leave. Get a new gym. Whatever you have to do, you do that.


:rofl:


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## Mr.Married

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*

In spite of all your good talk about yourself and marriage I think the truth is that you enjoy dancing close to the fire and your just waiting for someone
to tell you that it's OK.

You can spread all the Jesus and praying all over it that you want....... I'm not buying it.


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## Frozen001

*My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never paid*

Coming late to this, but after reading your posts and all your replies her is my opinion.

I think it is you who is the issue... how your “have looked back “ and now feel the friend has been flirting with you... how she gets close to you “on purpose “ ... and “she rubs butt on your hand during photos”. And “you tested” her.

Dude you are the one not the friend. Even if what you say is true about the friend, you let it happen and you are attracted to her. You brought a three some, not the friend or your wife... “now that I think about it”.... see the common denominator here... YOU!

Man up and either stop the **** or leave your wife and bang the friend.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## VladDracul

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*



Louiesweet143 said:


> So I’m wondering if my wife can be quietly involved in some way!


Yes. I seen this "test" being administered several times. But both you and I know you have a hidden agenda here.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*



EllisRedding said:


> Honestly, the only way you will know, next time you and your Ws bff are alone, tear each others clothes off and hump like it is the last day on earth. If your W jumps out from behind the couch and yells "SURPRISE", then you will know she was behind this all along >


I'd "like" this 10 times if could!!

My thoughts exactly. 

Again, whatever happens problem solved. No more gray areas. 

OP, face it, you really like the attention and that's normal.

But you can't ride this horse forever. It is not sustainable.

Take some action either way !!!


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## Diana7

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*



Louiesweet143 said:


> Listen guys and gals!!! My whole point is to know does my wife have anything to do with this! Forget whether I’m going to bang the girl lol. That is not the case. My worry is if my wife wants me to bang her friend as if she clueless!!!!! My wife and I have great sex 2-4 times per week. Her friend has been around us all our relationship and I like that my wife has a friend because I don’t feel so smothered. My marriage has been solid!
> 
> I tested the bfff by touching her while working out and I made a comment like “ I hope your not going to slap me after the workout hahaha “ and she ignored the comment. I rode home upset cause I thought she was going to stop me from touching her!! She is cold now. But she will show up 1 time again at the gym this week. That has been the theme!


I highly doubt your wife knows BUT even if she does what difference does it make? Its still very wrong for the OW to flirt with a married man and its still wrong for you to allow it. If that happened to me I would make sure I was never alone with that person and would seriously consider that as a couple we cut her out of our lives. She is trying to cause trouble and break up your marriage. 
Do what others have said tell your wife all of it. See what her reaction is. A normal wife would be very concerned about this and KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF THE OW. Don't tell her when you are going to the gym, and leave any communication between her and your wife.


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## FieryHairedLady

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*

https://talkaboutmarriage.com/ladie...ster-has-been-touchy-flirty.html#post19840715


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## Taxman

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*

Eventually, you are going to have to get in front of this and if you have to, get rude about it. Tell her to her face that whatever her game is, you are not going to play. Period. Tell your wife that you are uncomfortable. Tell her, that although she is ignorant of her girlfriend's manipulations, they're there, and appear not to be going away. Number one rule: NEVER be alone with GF. Do not talk to GF without wife present. Make sure you confront her with your wife present. That way, she cannot put a false charge on you.


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## MattMatt

*Re: My wife’s BFF has been hitting on me? I have been married 8 years but just never*

Change gym.


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