# What should I do?



## wheretofromhere (Nov 25, 2009)

I am a young adult and I have been married for almost 3 years and when my husband and I were dating we had so much in common and we used to agree on most subjects but I a feel like we are completely different. I have been trying to talk to him for a while now and finally this weekend we sat down and actually spoke and we were open and honest for the first time in a long time. Well the out come of our talk was heart breaking for me because he admitted that he never wants to have children. This was very difficult for me to hear because for as long as I can remember I'v wanted to be a mom and I want to be with someone who wants to be a dad. He said that MAYBE in 10 years he'll change his mind but I don't know know if I can wait on a maybe. I don't want kids right away but I want to be a young mom.

I'm just so torn because I still love him and I felt like we were moving forward with our talk up until he told me he didn't want kids. I don't know where to go from here. We are both young with not alot of money and quite a bit of debt. I don't have any family near by and don't know what to tell them. He has been talking to his parents which makes things a little weird when I am around them. I don't have a job so nothing is really stopping me from leaving except that I can't afford to and that I think about other things so much. Like car payments, loans, how to even begin a divorce, etc.

I wish I knew what to do. Any advice/ideas would be very appreciated.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Kids are scary to a man. He knows that he is expected to do a good job supporting them. 

Your man has a different problem. He has a young healthy wife who chooses not to work even though as a couple they are spending more then he earns. So each day their finances get worse and instead of helping him - by making a budget and sticking to it and by getting a job to earn money - his wife is now talking about adding kids to the mix which will be a financial train wreck. 

The smart move is to tell him you are going to help him figure out how to make the finances work. And then do it. You really need to learn that skill anyway even if you end up with someone else. 



wheretofromhere said:


> I am a young adult and I have been married for almost 3 years and when my husband and I were dating we had so much in common and we used to agree on most subjects but I a feel like we are completely different. I have been trying to talk to him for a while now and finally this weekend we sat down and actually spoke and we were open and honest for the first time in a long time. Well the out come of our talk was heart breaking for me because he admitted that he never wants to have children. This was very difficult for me to hear because for as long as I can remember I'v wanted to be a mom and I want to be with someone who wants to be a dad. He said that MAYBE in 10 years he'll change his mind but I don't know know if I can wait on a maybe. I don't want kids right away but I want to be a young mom.
> 
> I'm just so torn because I still love him and I felt like we were moving forward with our talk up until he told me he didn't want kids. I don't know where to go from here. We are both young with not alot of money and quite a bit of debt. I don't have any family near by and don't know what to tell them. He has been talking to his parents which makes things a little weird when I am around them. I don't have a job so nothing is really stopping me from leaving except that I can't afford to and that I think about other things so much. Like car payments, loans, how to even begin a divorce, etc.
> 
> I wish I knew what to do. Any advice/ideas would be very appreciated.


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