# Porn, my wife, our marriage



## ace4g (Jul 24, 2011)

I’ve been married for three years now and I watch porn. Of course my wife hates it, but I have a hard time turning away from it. One thing I want to make clear is that watching porn does not mean my wife is less attractive or I’m not attracted to her. It does not mean that I fantasize about the porn chicks or think about them when my wife and I have sex. Simply put, I LOVE the feeling of ejaculation and I love it more often than my wife does. I want to see sometimes what my fantasies look like acted out, and I want the feeling that most men get when horny to be satisfied. Sometimes I just want to roll over in the middle of the night to have sex with my wife then roll back over and go to sleep (I know, typical right). I’m NOT saying there is nothing wrong with watching porn because it is. I am saying (pardon my blunt vocabulary) I don’t believe that most women will go to the limits that will satisfy their men sexually. What’s wrong with constantly diversifying the act of sex in marriage (I’m not talking about extremes like adding partners)? Bluntly, I want to try anal sex, I want to have rough sex, and I want to receive oral sex on a regular basis and a few other things. However, these are the things that most women refuse to do or refuse to do regularly, but when we do not perform for women what they want on a regular basis (and it does not have to be sex) women get irritating and start annoying most men. I am making a point that as a man all I seek to do is solve a problem, provide, support, etc. That’s what men do. It’s just messed up that solving the sexual problem is usually without our woman or our wives help. So porn helps. I’d go above and beyond the limits to keep my wife sexually satisfied and trust me the way they like it is work, but it doesn’t matter because I want to satisfy her. I just say this one last thing, women, stop being insecure and work with your men, especially if you are married. Do whatever else he wants. Talk to him about his fantasies and make him feel comfortable doing it. Never make him feel like he can’t get the loving when he wants it and make him feel like the porn guy in the video, the king, the head honcho and all that other good stuff. Men need a good ego stroke from their women and most of us don’t get it. Women really run the show anyway and we know that, we just want to FEEL like we do. That’s probably the only important feeling we have as me besides the feeling of being successful in our careers, and the love we get from god and our women. Again watching porn is wrong, but what to do when I can’t get my wife to satisfy me sexually the way I need her. I going to cheat with internet porn


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Is there a question here?


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Do you mean that every time you want to ejaculate that you want your wife's parts to be available to you even in the middle of the night? Boy I could not imagine a more miserable existence. I think you should stop watching porn your expectation seem just a bit unreasonable. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Riverside MFT (Oct 5, 2009)

I think you might be trying to satisfy other non-sexual issues with the pornogrpahy. Often men will turn to pornoggraphy when they are bored, tired, stressed, depressed, or angry. Porn (like a drug) has a way of numbing one's feelings at least temporarily.

Are you wanting sex more because you are trying to feel better in your marriage? Is your sex life boring? I would talk directly to your wife about these issues instead of turning to porn. If you are having sexual problems in your relationship, maybe you should see a counselor. If you don't you may soon find that porn is more fulfilling than the sexual relationship with your wife--which would be a huge problem for the relationshp. Just out of curiosity, if your wife were asked about her level of satisfaction in the relationship, what would she say?


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

amen brother....


shacked up in 95, by 98 the porn was walking out the door. he took it upon himself to throw it away, i never told him to do that.

maybe its because we are a different generation, we say jerry and maury, and sally...and had access to boarders to look up these things, and i was raised by a "hippie" mom who told me my body was nothing to be ashamed of...

and women lib and the womens movement, and sex liberation...not sure, but i loved the person i lived with, and i didnt want to see him walk away because i didnt trust him enough to be free with.

i am not stranger to waking up to finding myself having sex, vagina or oral....we talked about it, and all done.

also husband has a fetish, i love it and welcome it both arms wide open. sex isnt dirty...well not in a bad way....its fun and if you feel safe with your life mate then whats the harm.

my husband sees no one but me, im high on a pedestal and no one or nothing comes before me...that is the result of having fun with sex, and being open and non judgemental to something different.

every time he wants to get off, no not ALL, but 90%. sometimes it cant be helped, sick kids, im sick, hes sick, friend is staying over nite...


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

ace4g said:


> I’ve been married for three years now and I watch porn. Of course my wife hates it, but I have a hard time turning away from it.


Let's put this into perspective.

You watch porn and obviously quite a lot. You do this despite the fact that it hurts your wife, and creates problems between you.

So you have prioritized porn above your marriage and your wife's feelings. Porn is the most important thing to you.



> One thing I want to make clear is that watching porn does not mean my wife is less attractive or I’m not attracted to her. It does not mean that I fantasize about the porn chicks or think about them when my wife and I have sex. Simply put, I LOVE the feeling of ejaculation and I love it more often than my wife does.


You do know that a lot of men ejaculate without porn? What do you think men did before the internet? I know there have all ways been forms of porn, however not anything like we see now.



> I want to see sometimes what my fantasies look like acted out, and I want the feeling that most men get when horny to be satisfied. Sometimes I just want to roll over in the middle of the night to have sex with my wife then roll back over and go to sleep (I know, typical right).


So basically porn has helped you see your wife as a cum recepticle.

You do know that's not very sexy and women want to be desired for who they are and not feel that any woman and any hole will do. What you do is reduce women to three holes and some sex acts. You have pornified them and you think your wife should be the same. You take no notice of the fact that porn sex is not really good sex, that it is fake , the women are faking it and more often then not they are in pain and their moans are fake.

so it's all just about you and your need to ejaculate.



> I’m NOT saying there is nothing wrong with watching porn because it is. I am saying (pardon my blunt vocabulary) I don’t believe that most women will go to the limits that will satisfy their men sexually. What’s wrong with constantly diversifying the act of sex in marriage (I’m not talking about extremes like adding partners)? Bluntly, I want to try anal sex, I want to have rough sex, and I want to receive oral sex on a regular basis and a few other things.


What's wrong is that you have decided you are entitled to porn sex. You are addicted to porn, and it is creating unrealistic expectations in your sex life.

Your wife is probably very resentful and turned off by you.

Would it be Ok with you if your wife constantly told you you didn't meet her sexual needs, and wanted you to be just like some 20 year old man with a huge d!ck who could go for hours, and also wanted you to participate in sex acts that you thought were degrading and painful?



> However, these are the things that most women refuse to do or refuse to do regularly, but when we do not perform for women what they want on a regular basis (and it does not have to be sex) women get irritating and start annoying most men.


What exactly is your wife expecting that is so out there and unrealistic? Anything that's physically painful and degrading? Anything most men wouldn't do in everyday life?




> I am making a point that as a man all I seek to do is solve a problem, provide, support, etc. That’s what men do. It’s just messed up that solving the sexual problem is usually without our woman or our wives help. So porn helps. I’d go above and beyond the limits to keep my wife sexually satisfied and trust me the way they like it is work, but it doesn’t matter because I want to satisfy her.


so you are saying having mutually enjoyable sex is too much work? :scratchhead:


> I just say this one last thing, women, stop being insecure and work with your men, especially if you are married. Do whatever else he wants. Talk to him about his fantasies and make him feel comfortable doing it. Never make him feel like he can’t get the loving when he wants it and make him feel like the porn guy in the video, the king, the head honcho and all that other good stuff.


It isn't insecure to know your own boundaries and to know porn sex isn't real and isn't good for you.
So women just need to suck it up and play along with any porn fantasies, degrading, humiliating and painful, in order to make their husbands feel good. And they have to be happy about porn.
That doesn't sound like something a secure woman would do, and it actually sounds like something someone very selfish and not very manly would ask for.

Real men love their wives, and understand that cherishing them is very important.



> Men need a good ego stroke from their women and most of us don’t get it. Women really run the show anyway and we know that, we just want to FEEL like we do. That’s probably the only important feeling we have as me besides the feeling of being successful in our careers, and the love we get from god and our women. Again watching porn is wrong, but what to do when I can’t get my wife to satisfy me sexually the way I need her. I going to cheat with internet porn


I think you would find that if you stopped watching porn, got some counseling and concentrated on your wife, what is attractive about her and sharing mutually satisfying sexual fantasies that you would be much happier.

Porn does change the way men view women, as I said makes them less and less satisfied and instead of creating intimacy and a bond between two people, it comes between and destroys it.

By watching porn you are wrecking your own sex life.


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## lotus27 (Jul 14, 2011)

Hi there 
I dont mind watching porn it can be fun it can be a quick release but on the other hand its fruadulant its not real its a fales escape that is temperary.If your wife watches porn with you (occationally) it can be exciting and great but just sitting there by yourself watching the same shots will make you grey in your sexual life with your wife.Example im early 40s ive been with my wife 25 years we have had issues ,the other week i we went out for dinner, she sent me a text ,I HAVE SOMTHING CUNNING PLANNED FOR TONIGHT.that night she informed me as we walked to the resturant that she was not wearing underwear only stocking and a garter.THIS NIGHT WAS SOO MUTCH BETTER THAN ANY PORN .


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## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

I think they thing that sticks out the most is when you said "I have a hard time turning away from it." That in itself seems like a problem.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

ace4g said:


> I’ve been married for three years now and I watch porn. Of course my wife hates it, but I have a hard time turning away from it.





ace4g said:


> Again watching porn is wrong, but what to do when I can’t get my wife to satisfy me sexually the way I need her. I going to cheat with internet porn


I think that you have a problem with porn and that it has skewed your ideas about what a good and fulfilling sexual relationship could be with your wife.

Perhaps your wife isn't able to satisfy you sexually because what you want is not at all reasonable, and doesn't take any of her needs or desires in to consideration?

I would recommend just cutting off the porn entirely, and turning all of that attention directly on to your wife. The porn has created a wedge in your marriage bed, and your wife is unlikely to be able to respond to you and you to her, unless that wedge is removed.

Best wishes.


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## Roooth (May 13, 2011)

ace4g said:


> I don’t believe that most women will go to the limits that will satisfy their men sexually.
> 
> Bluntly, I want to try anal sex
> 
> I just say this one last thing, women, stop being insecure and work with your men, especially if you are married. Do whatever else he wants.


So, secure women should have anal to satisfy their man even if it is painful for them and physically damaging to their health? If your wife told you she tried it once and it gave her an internal hemmorroid that bled and still bleeds on occasion, would that change your POV at all? This post seems really one-sided and insensitive.


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

Are you wanting to try the things you see the women do in porn? Maybe your wife doesn't feel comfortable doing some of that. 

It seems you are more concerned with your sexual needs than your wife's feelings. Have you talked to her about all of this you wrote here? Perhaps let her read what you have written so she can get a better idea of how you feel.


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## AgentD (Dec 27, 2010)

Sounds like a lot of put downs to women who don't do this or that, including your wife maybe. I think its possible too, that even if your wife did some of the things, or even all of the things you mentioned you would like, that probably wouldn't be good enough, because I think maybe porn viewing has warped your mind as to what a real meaningful sexual relationship is supposed to be about. 


This part you wrote:

"I just say this one last thing, women, stop being insecure and work with your men, especially if you are married. Do whatever else he wants."

Don't forget, it can go both ways. 

and this:

"Talk to him about his fantasies and make him feel comfortable doing it."

Have you talked to her about this? Have you talked to her about what some of her fantasies might be? Do you make her feel comfortable if you talk about it together?

Also this:

"Never make him feel like he can’t get the loving when he wants it and make him feel like the porn guy in the video, the king, the head honcho and all that other good stuff."

So she should give it to you whenever you want it? And you want to be made to feel like the guys in the porn videos? Once again I think all the porn has warped your thinking.


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## ace4g (Jul 24, 2011)

okay, I am listening to many of your comments and maybe I was not clear on some things. A lot of you have some good advice. Thank you. I just want to address a few things. I am a good man, a real man, I provide my wife with as much foundation, love, and understanding as I can possibly give. I acknowledge that watching porn is wrong, I am wking on this. I have no confidence problem with my penis size, and porn DOES NOT rule my thinking. I only believe that inside of a marriage my sexual needs and wants should be met fully or at least given a going try. Yes I have and still do talk to my wife about this (it is no secret) no I don't want rough sex to the point I wan to hurt her just want it a little rougher than than soft and slow that part is for her when it's time togive it to er how she wants it. No I probably don't satisfy all her needs sexual or non sexual, but give it a going try 24/7. She has zero complaints except for some minor mess ups I make every now and then and this porn thing. All i'm asking is why can't I get the fantasies I want from my wife sexually especially because she is my wife. I appreciate all of your comments.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

I hear your frustration and I don't think it helps to tell you that your demands are really unreasonable. You read it but you aee really not hearing. basically your problem is your porn addiction. If you put so little effort in beating it, how can you expect things to change? 

So what to do. There are a few things that are unlikely to change if you you don't change. She will not give you the porn sex you want ,being your wife does not oblige her to be treated like a convenient porn actress. I am almost certain that she she does not think you are a good husband. Your porn addiction, sexuall demands, lack of appreciation of her role in the marriage does in fact make you less attactive to her . 

You said that you have spoken to her, what is her response? Also, what are the things you want that you are not getting. 

Can you see how much of a problem the porn is? It fuels your desire to use your wife to act out what you see on porn. Look at it this way - you want her to go above and beyond to have sex the way you see it on the porn but you make little effort to beat the porn addiction. . You want more than you can give.

Can I suggest that you read some information on porn addiction and what it does to marrages. In addition i think you need help with, there are organization that can help. If you think porn is not your problem, then the frustration will not go away.

. One thing more your attitude, if it the same you have here in your post, you relationship may be trouble and you are so wrapped up in porn that you cannot see it. You are operating at a big deficit but you think you have a surplus. You have to balance the sheet. Be honest with your self, you are being extremely sefish and that is part if the addiction. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

ace4g said:


> All i'm asking is why can't I get the fantasies I want from my wife sexually especially because she is my wife.


And this is something that only your wife can answer for you. 

But, just because she is your wife does not mean that you are entitled to every sexual fantasy that you have. She is your partner in life who has feelings, hopes, and desires as well. She is not just a convenient play toy or puppet that should have to perform the way that you want her to.

Here's a secret - if you were really at the point where you have true intimacy with your wife - where you are as concerned for her and her pleasure more than your own - where you diligently try and meet her needs - it is more likely that you could grow together and get to the point where she may be willing to indulge some of these things.

But, you are not at that point - and so you need to respect her boundaries. Until she is willing to have those boundaries breached, trying to breach them while she is unwilling will likely result in her losing trust and respect for you and you will be even worse off, imho.

Best Wishes.


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## Roooth (May 13, 2011)

ace4g said:


> okay, I am listening to many of your comments and maybe I was not clear on some things.
> 
> All i'm asking is why can't I get the fantasies I want from my wife sexually especially because she is my wife.


Notice that you've had 13 different people respond all in the same vein with basically no disagreement. You might want to acknowledge to yourself that there is a point worth considering that is directed at your attitude towards your wife.


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## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

I agree. This is less about the porn/fantasy (although I do think there might be a bit of dependence on it) and more about your attitude and the way you come across about sex, and your wife.


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## ace4g (Jul 24, 2011)

Catherine602 and Enchantment, I am not a hard person to teach. I definitely hear while I am reading both points. No buts. I am begining to understand. No not all of it, but some of it. I know my wife is the most beautiful woman in the world to me. I only want some of my desires met also. incase you don't know I am 31 my wife is 41. Please do not factor age the only reson I mention is for perspective. I take care of two grandchildren and three children which I totally are responsible for. Jumping to the extreme, I love sex, so how do I accomplish this goal? Talking about it is not enough. at least I do not believe. So, what is it? I do not want to do this porn thing. Truhfully I am tired of it. I want my wife. So do I forget about it and just deal with the lack of sexual satisfaction or try something that would make her want to do try my fantasies? Is that what a man does? I believe I am man enough to ask this question. I am man, so I know I am wrong for looking at porn as an alternative. As women what do you feel the answer is? Because I truly want to be the best.


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## ace4g (Jul 24, 2011)

by the way Thank all of you for your support.


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## ace4g (Jul 24, 2011)

I just read this post. So you mean it is about the old do what you don't feel like doing theory?


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## Katya (Jun 23, 2011)

ace4g said:


> Men need a good ego stroke from their women and most of us don’t get it. Women really run the show anyway and we know that, we just want to FEEL like we do.


A woman needs to respect her husband in order to genuinely build up her husband (that's more than just ego stroking). If a woman is running the show, she sees her husband as inferior to her and there will be no respect.

So run the show and perhaps you'll see the respect.

And I'm not going to even get into the rest of this porn crap, everyone else is doing a great job with it.


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## WadeWilson (Jul 4, 2010)

Okay I wasn't going to get into this one, but I feel I have to speak with you for a sec Ace...

First, you got some serious overhauling to do, but baby steps... YOU have to CREATE the desire, and it starts outside the bedroom first, take the lead, you say women run the show, but sometimes all they want to do is enjoy the ride... Flirt with her, but in turn tell her no sometimes and decide for the both of you... Things like where/what to eat, show your involved in all aspects of the relationship and home...
It'll take awhile, but what you would be building is showing her you're an individual who chooses to be with her...

How many times can this be said? Communicate with her, not about your needs but hers, what she desires both in and out the bedroom, what turns her on, ect... Now once you have her turn ons or that spot, run with it... Now in the bedroom you lead... It's also a slow process, make her feel comfortable, but when she hot and thirsting for more little by little lead her to where you need her to be, compliment her actions get vocal, let her know softly but stern and confident your next steps, but mostly gauge her reactions... After a few trial and errors, she would eventually get excited about the cat and mouse games, she will almost look forward to pleasing you...

Now as for the porn, reset, porn it self is not evil... What you do with it is... You CAN have a healthy infatuation with it, but NEVER use it as a weapon/escape... It CAN however be used as a enhancement when both party's participating... Do not let people on here villainize you... You made a choice based on your options, and it's not selfish to want to feel desired, it IS selfish to deny your partner and expect them to act like a saint, people here have been so burned by bad partners that they REFUSE to see the otherwise of a problem, don't let that influence you...


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

I think it was commenter named big bad wolf who said on another thread, "any addiction is a show of weakness, and women are not attracted to weakness".

Based on your comments, plus my experience with porn, I can see that you are addicted, or atleast infatuated with it as I was. It is a "victimless" crime except you can't step out of yourself and see that your own mind is the victim in this. The saying goes "what has been seen can never be unseen" and all that visual input can corrupt a mind pretty badly. The good thing is you can detach from it and I think fully recover very quickly and nearly completely from this if you choose, and I am certain that your REAL sex life will benefit.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I wouldn't say that MOST women don't do those things.

I love rough sex, anal sex and give my hubs regular bjs and I know I'm not alone in that.


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

You say you know porn isn't the answer, then maybe thats why your wife wont do some of the stuff you want. Maybe porn is the issue for her, stop it and see if it helps any.


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## SKN (Jul 29, 2011)

I partly agree with your post. I can't agree with your entitlement demand to "have your fantasies met" 
Relationships require balance. It's give and take, cause and effect. You need to step back. 
That said, your wife and many others need to step up and play to keep too! 
We ALL get too complacent and 'comfortable' in relationships and take each other for granted. 
Good on you for accepting that porn isn't helping! Your not alone!


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

You sound like a very good man you have taken on the care of many people with a glad spirit. You also sound sincere and very much in need of help to manage your cravings. You asked for help but I don't think you expected the nature of the responses. You want someone to tell you how to get what you want and no one can tell you how to get a totally sexually compliant woman because they don't exist.

I know you are not prepared to hear about the effect of porn addiction on your fantasies but it is really at the root of your problems. If you google porn addiction and it's effect on sexual relationships, you will recognize yourself. In porn, women do whatever the man wants, they are excited by complying with any sex act he wants, they are aroused instantly, they require no tenderness love or affection. 

They will endure pain, discomfort, degradation and moan with delight. The men show no respect or care. They treat the woman like a collection of holes. Do you really think that your wife wants to be treated like that by her husband? Wives don't usually consider themselves props in a porn video. 

The nature of your addiction has made you forget that the woman you say you love should not be expected to be a porn actress for you. Don't you think that that is very unfair? Use that part of yourself that is kind and giving to understand that. Walk around in your wife's shoes and look at yourself through her eyes. 

What do you see? A confusing man, he is responsible, takes care of his family, loves his wife and kids and grands. He has gone above and beyond the call of a good man. The confusing and disturbing aspects are that he is addicted to porn and he demands that she act out his porn fueled fantasies. You earn her respect on one hand and repulse her on the other. 

As a man you appear weak because you have allowed yourself to become addicted and you are not man enough to control you addiction. An out of control man can not be trusted and a man with a obvious weakness he can not control, loses his sexual appeal. Your desperation probably repulses her. 

You did not mention that you researched porn addiction and that you are seeking help. Why not at lest try that. You may regain your wife's respect and trust again. It will take time and effort. For all the good things you do for your family, you have also done a great deal of damage to your relationship with your wife.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ace4g (Jul 24, 2011)

This time around I have learned a great deal from catherine 602 and wade wilson, not that the rest of you did not have interesting comments, but these two touched home base a bit. I just wanted to mention that I am going to try some different approaches. I consider myself a strong and full man, so if this makes me weak I must shut it down. Now the catch that I notice right away is that once I win this battle there will be other temptations that will seek to make me weak. I guess that is the war. However, I am going to try giving more without expectation to receive. Yes I watch porn, but I am going to try not watching it despite how I feel neglected by my sexual wants. Nothing is more special than my wife. Some may understand this, others may not. I feel this way personally because I never had anyone in my life that loves me outside of mom and pops. So, I feel she deserves me to push harder and at the very least give it a try, at the most succeed and show her that I can be the man she wants 100%. I could never be perfect, but I figure getting as close to perfection as possible with no exceptions would be worth it. I look forward to reading more posts. I also want to mention that I still would like to have some of these fantasies met, but not at the expense of my wife being unhappy with me. Real men don't stay down after a fall. Real men get up after a fall and become better after with every stumble.


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## ace4g (Jul 24, 2011)

(cont.) I want to read more comments and opinions if there are any left. I learn quickly,however, a little support would be great. If any who are reading want to know what has been working for me. It has been reading these comment here, setting up a bible reading plan, and calling changing myfocus onto something different when I thinking about turning on pornography. A man told me once when I asked him what is the best way to get over a woman. He said "put your mind on something else." All I know is that it works for more than just women problems. It has worked for me to get over anything not worth keeping. I only need to understand why is it or why isn't it to make my decision.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

ace4g said:


> (cont.) I want to read more comments and opinions if there are any left. I learn quickly,however, a little support would be great. If any who are reading want to know what has been working for me. It has been reading these comment here, setting up a bible reading plan, and calling changing myfocus onto something different when I thinking about turning on pornography. A man told me once when I asked him what is the best way to get over a woman. He said "put your mind on something else." All I know is that it works for more than just women problems. It has worked for me to get over anything not worth keeping. I only need to understand why is it or why isn't it to make my decision.


Good to see your update. Hope things can continue in the right direction for you.

You mention setting up a bible reading plan. If you are a Christian, you may also be interested in the following site geared towards Christians and sex. Here is their article on pornography and other sexual activities, which I think is done in a very non-biased, Bible fact based way:

What's Okay, What's Not

God Bless.


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## DG3 (Jul 13, 2011)

:iagree:


Syrum said:


> Let's put this into perspective.
> 
> You watch porn and obviously quite a lot. You do this despite the fact that it hurts your wife, and creates problems between you.
> 
> ...


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## marriedguy (Nov 7, 2009)

Ace4g, you and I have alot in common..we are both trying to find ways to get our partner to satisfy our sexual wants-needs, but nothing seems to be working..
I myself have tried the whole..¨I will worry about only what she likes, no longer care for my own needs¨
It works for a while, but in the end it just gets depressing, you like what you like..you cant cover things up forever..

Good though that you decided to stop watching porn..I try to stay away from it as well..but every once in a while I get sucked into it...internally I am blaming my wife for it because she hasnt put enough effort into keeping me sexually satisfied..but I know that I am just as much of the problem, because watching porn doesnt help the situation one bit..it only takes care of the need for a little while..

I guess the most discouraging part is the fact that we both know that there are lots of real women out there who do enjoy Rough sex..Anal sex..giving lots of BJs and Swallowing, etc..
It just so happens that our wives are not one of them...
We crave alot of these things naturally..but when we give into our cravings and our wives dont want to meet them, or dont desire any of these things themselves (perhaps the most important factor) then we turn to porn..

I got no answer, and Im just rambling, trying to make sense of it all..
I guess the first step is to stop watching porn..
step two is to make sure our wives are happy..
Step three???? 
We`re still not getting any, so whats step three? Maybe, dont worry about sex anymore? Become a monk? Stop having sexual fantasies and wanting to share them with our wives???

We are always thinking that we can somehow fix things..trying to figure out some way to be so that our wives will satisfy us sexually...
But there really isnt any formula for this...its either our wives are into it or they are not..
Some will change over time, some wont..

If we have let our wives know what kind of sex we are interested in (and I have) then theres not much more that we can do except to try to fight off temptation, pray about it, and dont think about women and sex too much..worry about sports instead.


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## Confused_and_bitter (Aug 6, 2011)

When my H and I were separated because of the type of work he does he got into watching porn a couple of times a week at first it bothered me I went thru the whole he must want a woman like that and thinking that he needed that to be turned on by porn enough to have sex with me BUT after speaking to him and watching the kind of porn he enjoyed watching I understood that a) he doesn't see me M-F still gets horny and it's just a visual for him to get off and b) it didn't change his view about sex with me. Once that was out in the open, we agreed to be more experimental we have tried anal, oral, etc. And we do what we feel comfortable doing. I don't see what the problem is with trying new things in the sex department it can be fun and exciting if approached the proper way. I always believed in keeping my man satisfied and I know what he likes and how it makes him feel. If I may ask Ace4g why do you say porn is bad? I would understand it if your wife wanted sex and you instead chose to watch porn but that doesn't seem the case so I wonder where this train if thought comes from. And just so you know lots of woman me included do like to satisfy their husbands and indulge in their fantasies I do put a limit like I don't want to bring in other people into our sex life but everything else at least in our relationship is always open for exploration.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ace4g (Jul 24, 2011)

Syrum said:


> Let's put this into perspective.
> 
> You watch porn and obviously quite a lot. You do this despite the fact that it hurts your wife, and creates problems between you.
> 
> ...


Just wanted to post a reply to this. Yes I watch porn, however now I have decided to take on some new approaches and methods to help me wiith this problem. The thing is you are wrong about me watching it quite a lot. I am way too busy of a person to do any one thing "quite a lot" except for provide for my family. You are wrong about porn being the most important thing to me. If it was then I would not even attempt to make my wife aware of this matter. I would be sneaking around (which I don't) like some little kid (which I am not). I do not believe in hiding. My wife a cum recepticle?:rofl: No! I only believe that as I try hard to meet her needs no matter what they may be that mine should be met too, and I know that neither one of us is perfect so I can and do except some things as a agree to disagree. I never felt entitled to any type of porn. if this was true then I would not even have made this thread seeking opinions. I would not care, because I would be entitled to it. furthermore, if my wife told me and made me aware that I do not meet her sexual needs I would go above and beyond the call of duty to get as close to, if not all the way to what she wants. By the way, I am the guy with the huge **** literally and it aint all it's cracked up to be, but she likes it and i'm cool with that. As far as degrading, yeah it would be uncomfortable probbly, but that would be between me and her, so I would not care, as long as she is happy. It's not like either of us are into inviting additional partners into our bed. I never said mutually enjoyable sex is too much work. If yu need specifics, staying in one weird posiion so that I can hit that spot just like she wants. Trying not to cum before she does or trying to cum right when she does. All the humpin I do while she just lays there, because this is what she likes and more can be hard work. I never said that I want these things every time, just consistent enough to where I feel comfortable asking for it. If she's not in the mood that is respected, but to feel like I can't dare think about asking for it seems ridiculous. She's my wife. Who else should I ask or even expect it from if not her. I am a real man here, not a perfect one, but real and she knows that. Not upset, but some of those statements were wrong. The rest I took into consideration. Either way it goes, I appreciate your comment anyway.


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## ace4g (Jul 24, 2011)

Marriedguy, I know what you mean. What is step three?:scratchhead: Maybe there isn't a step three. Somebody on this thread had a good point by saying that I should take baby steps. It sounds like a good idea. I know porn isn't the answer, so what do I do? well watching hasn't worked, well on a one way street it did, meaning strictly for me, but my wife was left out of this equation. We don't have a problem with adjusting and making things right because we are mature men and that is what we do. We fix things when they are not right. try the comment about the baby steps and see where it leads.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

I think you should re read your OP.

I still think you need help with the porn thing, and should stop watching it.


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## ace4g (Jul 24, 2011)

confused and bitter, I only say porn is bad because of my spiritual beliefs and I want to become well balanced in them. however, I can see your point. Anything can be bad depending on the way one uses a particular thing. In some relationships it may be accepted in others it may not be. I don't really want to turn to porn in my marriage. I would rather my wife be my porn star and I hers. I don't think it is selfish, as some others think it may be, to want to do these things with my wife. I had mentioned I want rough sex. I didn't mean I want to hurt her or whoop her a** during sex. I mentioned I wanted more oral sex. I give it to her almost every time, why can't I get it almost every time. I mentioned I wanted to try anal. I didn't mean I wanted to blow her butthole out of proportion. Of course I want to take the proper and safest measures, and if she doesn't like it then, hey, we don't have to do it again. But, at least I can say to myself that I did this with my wife. I probably went overboard wth my reply, but thanks for listening anyway, or reading rather.


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## ace4g (Jul 24, 2011)

Ok, today is my day off. In my line of work there are no days off so I am grateful that I have this one. I have talked to my wife more intimately about this subject and she knows that I have been here on this forum talking about this from day one. She has read this whole thread. I am grateful for all the replies even the ones that were a little... well, let's just use this guy:rant: I'm not cured so I hope to hear more opinions. I use this thread now as one of my apparatuses to stay away from doing the wrong thing inside of our marriage. Honestly it's more fun. I felt the urge earlier because my wife and I haven't done anything for 2 weeks now. But, it has beeen busy around here so I guess I'll just have to deal with it. So, what do I do? Beat the meat without porn? Don't do nothing? Okay, where does the "let's go further part come in?" I'm getting bored. Yeah, yeah, yeah, "porn is horrible and you shouldn't do that, and you're this and you're that." I'm not a caveman. I don' want to BONK her upside the head with my club and drag her into my cave to have my way with her. I'm just saying can a man get some sex the way he wants it for a change? I know i'm going to get attacked for this.:lol: Regular talking, however, why is it so bad for me to want these things from my wife. What do women think men are going to do when they leave out the cookie. I mean everybody doesn't like the same flavor cookie, but I like a good variety, but it's still my cookie. For those that don't understand I am not talking about being with different women, finding another resource, or an actual cookie. I'm just saying that the baby steps thing might work, but how long will that take. She's my wife for goodness sake. What is so wrong with wanting these things from her?


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

I think that the ideal approach to this is the following. Women get smart after a while and learn from men. So this is how a really equitable sexual relationship would look like. 

Sharing anuses - he already has a poker, wifey needs one too. She gets a dildo about the size of the husbands penis and a strap on, lube of course. He gives to her and she returns the favor. Fair and square. 

Oral sex - she gives to him and if he insist upon swallowing she can share it with him. He gives to her but as with her, he gets no orgasm just gives. They alternate once for her and then once for him. 

Quickies in the middle of the nigh: he gets to wake her up and eeeff then turn over and go to sleep and she get to rub the shaft of his penis for 2 min and turn over and go to sleep. 

How does that sound, the joys of mutually satisfying sex is resored. Both partners will get to share in the raptures of sex in equal measure. If one or the other has the need for affection, slow loving caresses and romantic love making, I suppose some kind of exchange can be made. Maybe a 2 min hj for a short kiss, long languid kis 4min hj etc. Make a menu with the cost for each. 

I don't know but the idea of a man you love waking you up in the middle of the night without much as a howdie babe love ya lots. Having a quickie and turning over and going to sleep, what do you say. Are you finished dear, anything else you want me for before I take a shower.. 

What must he feel about a woman to want to do that. It is so completely devoid of any human meaning just pure eeeffing. The danger is that the woman might feel she is being used as a cum dump. I'm not saying that is the intention but the recipient may feel like a vagina on a stick. She does not have to wake up. 

Just saying. That for some reason bothers me the most. In a way it seems in keeping with what men joke about when they talk about their partner. Is total compliance really that attractive?. It almost sounds like the fantasy is to have a woman who has had a lobotomy. Her body is still there but she offers no resistance to how he wants to use it. That's what it sounds like but that's me, that what I hear. 

It may not resemble what is being communicated.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WorldsApart (May 5, 2011)

ace4g said:


> I felt the urge earlier because my wife and I haven't done anything for 2 weeks now.


2 weeks? I'd say find some "organic, free range" porn and beat it like a dirty rug.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Seems like I am getting on men. Just having a little fun it's Fri night we just arrived in NYC driving to Atlantic city. H driving no kids I had a few cosmos already 

Anyway women are just as bad with the attitude that their husband should be neutered after marriage or he should a romantic hero like some stupid romance novel. Or he should read her mind and know every thing about how to please her sexually. And he should kill himself in the salt mines so she can have a house with what amount to 4 LRs - great room, bonus room, basement, music room. How many do you need? He could work 20 hrs per week less if he did not to please his wife. 

I understand why men feel they way they do about their work. They are driven to give their families more than what they need. I love my husband and really appreciate I forget that sometimes in the useless frenetic activities. 
His wife could at lest give him a bj every now and then to relax him tierd soul. ;o}

Men have it hard too in a different way than women. I am glad I'm not a man i don't think I would be a good one. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

> "I just say this one last thing, women, stop being insecure and work with your men, especially if you are married. Do whatever else he wants. Talk to him about his fantasies and make him feel comfortable doing it. Never make him feel like he can’t get the loving when he wants it and make him feel like the porn guy in the video, the king, the head honcho and all that other good stuff."


Who are you talking to? LOL

"Women"? I'm a woman, and I assure you, my husband is completely satisfied in our sexual experiences.

He is not into porn. He thinks it's degrading and always has. Having daughters, he says he can't watch someone else's daughter have sex.

Stop generalizing people based on their gender....

I will tell you, the positions in porn will not get a woman off. lol. What crap. Not all men want to be the "porn guy". Some men are happy being just themselves. Do you have an inferiority complex? I ask because you say you want to feel like "the king" etc...why do you not already?

I'm glad my husband is so giving. He's a fabulous lover and it makes me want to please him in any way I can.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Ace you are alright - it is easy to get on the case of a man who reveals what thanks for being so brave. Also you did not get nasty about the rants. That says something. 

Have you wife read this. - I was an inhibited new bride and I thought my husbands package was ugly!! My husband is good man he helped me get out of my shell. I have done naughty things that I never thought I would do. 

I felt when I am an old lady in a nursing home I am not going laugh about chase I was. But I'll get a charge out of the times we did it in the ladies stall in a club. You should have seen the look of the two girls doing their hair. We washed our hands and walked out without a word or a look. 

I discovered that when I feel safe with my husband I follow him on his adventures for us. But his attitude is important. He Treats me like his beloved sidekick. He does not get angry at lest he does not let me see it. He has never sat me down to tell me what he expected sexually. He gently coxed me joked teased me. 

He is kind of aggressive in a playful. Try that attitude. Your wife is your adventure partner. I think if you don't have fun with sex with a loving man you will regret it when you can't do it any more. So come on have fun. Why not??
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

> I don't know but the idea of a man you love waking you up in the middle of the night without much as a howdie babe love ya lots. Having a quickie and turning over and going to sleep, what do you say. Are you finished dear, anything else you want me for before I take a shower..


I don't know...I like when my husband does this. I wake up and there he is, looking hot  Then we both get to finish and immediately go back to sleep. Win/win. Sometimes we laugh in the morning because we don't remember if we did or not LOL!

I never liked this before...but I trust my husband and I know he's not using me.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

TG I think you hit on it. Attitude is so important. A light fun accepting and affectionate loving atmosphere.not demands no anger no attitude. It hard for a frustrated man but I think that reframing the way you look at a situation can help.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WorldsApart (May 5, 2011)

that_girl said:


> I will tell you, the positions in porn will not get a woman off. lol. What crap.


My wife and I tried a position last night on the couch that we saw in a porno, and wow did she get off. So it works for other people


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Which position? I'd be happy to know.

I just know that when I've watched it, so much of it seems soooo fake LOL


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## WorldsApart (May 5, 2011)

Catherine602 said:


> Anyway women are just as bad with the attitude that their husband should be neutered after marriage or he should a romantic hero like some stupid romance novel. Or he should read her mind and know every thing about how to please her sexually.


Romance novels can be just as toxic to relationships as porn.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

WorldsApart said:


> Romance novels can be just as toxic to relationships as porn.


And freakin' DISNEY MOVIES! omg...how many little girls are RUINED because of those sappy, untrue tales of being rescued by a stupid prince?? lol


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## WorldsApart (May 5, 2011)

that_girl said:


> Which position? I'd be happy to know.
> 
> I just know that when I've watched it, so much of it seems soooo fake LOL


I'm sitting on the edge of the couch, she's straddling me, feet on the couch, hands on the back of the couch, working her bottom up and down 

Most porn is fake. It's a visual fantasy that if done correctly, allows the viewer to suspend disbelief and imagine themselves in the scene. It's no different than a romance novel, or a summer superhero movie. We know what's going to happen in the end, but it's still enjoyable.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Oh that's a good position. I don't think of that as porn.
I am talking about the weird positions they get into for good camera angles. LOL Yea.


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## WorldsApart (May 5, 2011)

that_girl said:


> And freakin' DISNEY MOVIES! omg...how many little girls are RUINED because of those sappy, untrue tales of being rescued by a stupid prince?? lol


One of my high school girlfriends had EVERY SINGLE DISNEY MOVIE EVER RELEASED. Minister's daughter to boot. Guess who I left my V-Card with? yep. She turned out to be a total nut job when we broke up.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

WorldsApart said:


> One of my high school girlfriends had EVERY SINGLE DISNEY MOVIE EVER RELEASED. Minister's daughter to boot. Guess who I left my V-Card with? yep. She turned out to be a total nut job when we broke up.


Because she was programmed to expect "happily ever after".

My oldest never got into the princesses.

My 2 year old is all about them.


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## WorldsApart (May 5, 2011)

that_girl said:


> Oh that's a good position. I don't think of that as porn.
> I am talking about the weird positions they get into for good camera angles. LOL Yea.


well, there's only so many ways to put tab A into slot B


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

WorldsApart said:


> well, there's only so many ways to put tab A into slot B


Or C


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## WorldsApart (May 5, 2011)

that_girl said:


> Or C


I don't think we are allowed to talk about slot C, because it's like degrading to think some women might actually enjoy that


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

WorldsApart said:


> I don't think we are allowed to talk about slot C, because it's like degrading to think some women might actually enjoy that


:rofl: Then we really won't go chattin' about D.

Lucky for me, I trust my husband sexually. This is weird for me because I have trust issues


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## Mrs. T (Aug 5, 2011)

ace4g said:


> I have no confidence problem with my penis size, and porn DOES NOT rule my thinking.
> She has zero complaints except for some minor mess ups I make every now and then and this porn thing.
> 
> 
> ...


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## ace4g (Jul 24, 2011)

Mrs. T, I said she has zero complaints EXCEPT for some minor mess ups' I make and this porn thing. I didn't mean zero as in none at all. That is why I said EXCEPT for some minor mess ups' I make and this porn thing. She's not well medicated, just happy, and I acknowledge I must work at anything that is making her unhappy such as this porn thing including any of my minor mess ups'. Porn does not rule anything in my life. I'm the ruler. I am the one wih the power to do what ever I want. Sometimes as imperfect human beings, we make wrong choices. This is why it does not rule my thinking or my marriage. It does not rule my marriage because I am concious. As soon as I noticed the choice I made and that it was not taking me, which is her, which equals us, into the direction of my liking I sought help. I found this sight and decided to talk about it. I did not want to pay for a therapist because ultimately I will have to make the change for myself, and I don't need a therpist I just needed to talk among friends about it. Everyone of you have been my friend here. Whether it is tough love to funny remarks.


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## ace4g (Jul 24, 2011)

That girl and worlds apart, I really enjoyed your conversation, very funny to me. Catherine 602, you made some good points with great perspective. Just wanted to say that. I'm not going to go into describing the limits I would go for my wife, but lets just say I got your drift.


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## joyoflife (Aug 15, 2011)

Ok I am not very ariculate so lets see if I can get this out correctly. I would say Mrs.T has hit the nail on the head, well atleast her first sentence. 
Everybody knows that guys are very much so driven by sex. What most people seem to gloss over is the fact that most guys are driven more by ego. It often is overlooked because they are so intertwined. Power fuels ego more than anything else can. What says power more than looking down watching a woman pleasure you or allowing you to violate her in a demening way? Men don't love blow jobs or anal so much more because they feel so good, it really feels not so much better phyicaly but it gives them a sence of power that the person that is doing this is just there to please them. I have found myself with my wife trying to explain to her that yes, you do give an amaizing bj but she actually only needs to show that she is willing to do it for me to be satisfied. 
A man views what his wife does for him in bed as an act of apprecation from his wife (men, take an honest look at it and you will realize this is true) yes there are many other ways to feel apprecated but if not enough of them are being met this tends to take the pole position. If a man does not feel apprecated 2 things happen.(1. they first try to figure out why this is, "I mean I go to work all day and do x,y,and z and its not good enough". This creates doubts, which include but not limited to. Do I not do enough for my family? Am I not loving enough? Am I not a good enough lover? When they go through this progression if they do not come up with a satisfactory awnser for themselves and more importantly thier deflating ego they begin toTHINK they are doing all the right things and this "selfish ***** needs to be more greatful". Then it turns to (2. The power grab. Your ego will try any way it can to inflate itself and increase your self worth. The things mentioned before are the easiest way to feel this power with as little effort as possible. As I said before, nothing inflates ego and self worth more than power. 
Now am I saying this is right? Absolutly not at all, most men who feel unaprecated (unfourtunatly I belong to this group) are like this because of thier low self esteem and not because they are actually being neglected. Although some are just flat out neglected it is not usually the case unless the male is guilty of doing the same thing. It just takes an unrealistic amount of attention for some men to be happy. This is why some turn to fantisy i.e. watching others carry out this grab of power that you cannot attain.
While an addiction to porn is not a good thing (anything in excess in not a good thing) it is a symptom of a larger problem that takes some self examenation and comunication with your wife to get through.
While I know my rant is not very coherent, I hope I my have offered a bit of insight from a perspective of someone who has done a TON of reasearch on this and is sailing in pretty much the same boat


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## WorldsApart (May 5, 2011)

Ace, does your wife read romance novels?


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Catherine602 said:


> If you put so little effort in beating it, how can you expect things to change?


 LoL I totally read this wrong the second time around! LoLoL!! Just wanted to say, my hubby has a new awareness, thanks to this thread, and has identified with many of the OP's mindset.  Best wishes! It is really tough to look past denial, but once you can you have accomplished the singlemost significant step!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Opps should have written " If you put so little effort in beating the porn addiction" or alternately "If you put so much effort in beating it to porn". Either way captures what I wanted to convey. ;o}
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

It's obvious Ace that you love and care about your wife. But I feel concerned that you are so frustrated, it is no way to live. You should be relaxed and happy. The energy that your are dissipating with frustration could be used in a slow steady and concerted effort to decrease your frustration by drawing your wife out with your love and obvious good nature. 

The reason I harp on porn is because I read that if you stop watching porn your frustration will decrease and you will not feel so driven. In this mental state, you will be able to be patient and look at sex in your marriage as a tapestry your are weaving. 

It is complicated and a hard slog and You may wonder why you need to work so hard at a simple act. All I can say is that some of us women have complex attitudes towards sex that is effected by context and some very negative messages by society. We depend on you men to help us discover the joy of sex and to forget the pain that we may experience either directly or indirectly.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

WorldsApart said:


> Romance novels can be just as toxic to relationships as porn.


I don't think many marriage counselors report marital problems due to romance novels. If a woman is reading romance novels and her husband seriously feels it is degrading to him and harmful to their marriage, then yes she should stop. I have only ever read that complaint seriously once on here I believe.

Porn is highly addictive, it does not use imagination, and does not have whole stories, it is most often uses the degradation of women to get men off. Completely different to porn and cannot be compared.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

Syrum said:


> I don't think many marriage counselors report marital problems due to romance novels. If a woman is reading romance novels and her husband seriously feels it is degrading to him and harmful to their marriage, then yes she should stop. I have only ever read that complaint seriously once on here I believe.
> 
> Porn is highly addictive, it does not use imagination, and does not have whole stories, it is most often uses the degradation of women to get men off. Completely different to porn and cannot be compared.


I just did a search on romance novels bad for marriages.

you might be surprised to learn that more and more evidance to suport that they might be just as addictive to woman as porn is to men with many negative consequences.


I even found a site for women on how to beat the romance novel addiction and women who posted on it how is screwed up there marriage because of the unrealisctic expectation that no man can compete with.


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## WorldsApart (May 5, 2011)

Syrum said:


> I don't think many marriage counselors report marital problems due to romance novels. If a woman is reading romance novels and her husband seriously feels it is degrading to him and harmful to their marriage, then yes she should stop. I have only ever read that complaint seriously once on here I believe.
> 
> Porn is highly addictive, it does not use imagination, and does not have whole stories, it is most often uses the degradation of women to get men off. Completely different to porn and cannot be compared.


Because romance novels are full stories, and require imagination, they involve the reader at a MUCH deeper emotional level, it fulfills the role of an "emotional vibrator" setting expectations that are impossible for any man to meet.

Because both porn and romance novels satisfy a sexual need, it is very easy to compare them.


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## Sunshine007 (Aug 19, 2011)

My hubby watches it frequently and although I am aware plenty of women like it as well, I find it so gross. I have blown him almost every single day since we have been together for the last 16 years. We had sex twice a day for 10 years also. Before the last few years we both had to get ourselves off a few times a day just because the urge was so intense. I like anal too. I give to him and he still likes porn. I will satisfy him if he wants to watch it, I am just happy I don't have to look at it. He is not happy with me at this point in time since my drive has gone way down. I guess every couple is different. I think most men would be happy with this much acitivity, as would you.


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## Ontheroadagain (Aug 20, 2011)

Hi, This sounds a bit like my situation apart from Im the wife (not your wife) and I feel like my H's use of porn is cheating on me especially as he seems to do it when im at work (the history reveals) and only just when my 10 yr old daughter has gone to bed he has to be quick as I get home soon after that. Im truly thinking of leaving him but its such a shame as he's a great step dad and I love him, sorry to butt in on your problem with my own problem. I feel disrespected and devalued, this is probably how your wife is feeling, which isnt going to make her want sex, I really dont know my next move but it could be out!


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## dontbeajerk (Feb 13, 2015)

You are wrong, you say your wife doesn't always sexually satisfy you...that's because you rob your marriage of intimacy by watching your porn. As a wife who is married to a porn addict I can tell you that it makes me feel robbebd of the intimacy I should have in my marriage. You have exerted your intimacy energy into your porn and not your marriage...do you really expect your wife to kiss you and be affectionate to you when you are stealing from her?? That's like asking your wife to kiss the robber that just robbed your house... 

I'm not judging you, I don't know about your sexual activity between your wife. All I know is that I had a perfectly normal sexual appetite with my husband (2-4 times a week) until I discovered he was robbing/stealing/cheating/leaving me the al dente remains of his porn addiction. I knew because his **** was never as hard as it could be, so not as satisfying, therefore I am robbed... I'm sorry but if you have to watch porn to jerk off whenever your wife leaves the house and spend ours jerking off when she is out of town or attends her aunts funeral...you are a porn addicted husband and a JERK off!!

Also, your jerk off activities will most likely lead to joining sex dating sites and talking to women online on livecam, etc... Do you really think this is pleasing to your wife?? I know from experience... I haven't divorced my husband yet because I have a purpose to fulfill before I do that! Let me just tell you that you are a JERK in the eyes of your wife...you can try to hide it like my husband does but there is always evidence and it cannot be hidden once she knows your ****ed up addiction. 

I'm a very sexually active person I'm very attractive according to what men tell me and I and I could have the same addiction if I let myself, in fact, as a woman I wouldn't need to rely on the computer porn, I can go out and **** anyone I want on any given day whenever I want...it so easy... Instead I try to save myself for my husband but I can tell you I'm sick of feeling robbed and I'm about to rob him of what he has been robbing my of for years...only I will **** a real live person not a computer screen...

I'm horny as hell right now but no hard **** to **** since my husbands is al dente from all the porn...what's a girl to do...

I hope your wife cheats on you like you have done to her... good luck


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## Rayloveshiswife (Sep 25, 2013)

You realize this is four year old thread. Right......
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## doobie (Apr 15, 2014)

ace4g said:


> *I only believe that inside of a marriage my sexual needs and wants should be met fully or at least given a going try.* Yes I have and still do talk to my wife about this (it is no secret) no I don't want rough sex to the point I wan to hurt her just want it a little rougher than than soft and slow that part is for her when it's time togive it to er how she wants it. No I probably don't satisfy all her needs sexual or non sexual, but give it a going try 24/7. She has zero complaints except for some minor mess ups I make every now and then and this porn thing. All i'm asking is why can't I get the fantasies I want from my wife sexually especially because she is my wife. I appreciate all of your comments.


Try telling that to the many men and women here who are married and getting no sex at all. We probably all went into marriage expecting to have a regular sex life but many of us are here because we're in a marriage where our partner won't have sex with us or will have sex on such an infrequent basis that it's having a seriously debilitating effect on the whole relationship. You should count yourself lucky that your wife is still willing to have sex with you given your totally selfish attitude towards her. She is your life partner, not a sex toy.


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