# Wife Wants To Open Up But Doesn't Know How



## Loving Husband (Aug 3, 2009)

I have a long post about me and my wife in the general forum.. Our marriage is getting back on track now but we hit an area where she wants more but is lost on how to go about it. We have a great connection sexually. We can talk about ANYTHING. I mean ANYTHING.. We have a comfort level most couples envy. Problem is my wife is timid and unsure about her body and being sexual. She has put on some weight and it doesn't bother me it bothers her. I tell her all the time sexy is an attitude and not a shape and she knows she turns me on. All she has to do is kiss me a few times and I am ready.  For a while now I have run our sex life. Suggestions like different positions or video taping but I want her to get excited about something. She keeps telling me she doesn't know.. Is there some place I can show her that she can safely look without viruses for her to figure it out?? She already told me she is starting to open up and I want to see her get excited looking forward to being with me.. I am the same man for almost 20 years with her and while I can't change me I can try and change the setting.. How can I get her to the next level?? 

EDIT:BTW our sex is very good now. She is completely satisfied. Usually she has multiple orgasms every time we have sex. Her satisfaction is and has been my top priority so it's not like she's not have a great time with me. I just want to take us to the next level. For her she told me I am a bit more advanced then her and she hasn't gotten there yet..


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

I can only tell you what this feels like from the timid side of the table. I won't suggest new things. I am not really capable - too afraid. I will however try anything wife wants - anything. And I can only recall one time trying something that I did not like so much. It was something that, if she had really liked it, I would have done it just to make her happy - but it turned out neither of us were crazy about it. So she is batting about 950. 

I am also willing to say - afterwards - how much I liked one thing compared to another. So my wife just gradually does or asks me to do lots of things and then gets honest feedback from me. 

By the way - you don't have to tell me this is lame. I already know it. It is the best I can do. 



Loving Husband said:


> I have a long post about me and my wife in the general forum.. Our marriage is getting back on track now but we hit an area where she wants more but is lost on how to go about it. We have a great connection sexually. We can talk about ANYTHING. I mean ANYTHING.. We have a comfort level most couples envy. Problem is my wife is timid and unsure about her body and being sexual. She has put on some weight and it doesn't bother me it bothers her. I tell her all the time sexy is an attitude and not a shape and she knows she turns me on. All she has to do is kiss me a few times and I am ready.  For a while now I have run our sex life. Suggestions like different positions or video taping but I want her to get excited about something. She keeps telling me she doesn't know.. Is there some place I can show her that she can safely look without viruses for her to figure it out?? She already told me she is starting to open up and I want to see her get excited looking forward to being with me.. I am the same man for almost 20 years with her and while I can't change me I can try and change the setting.. How can I get her to the next level??


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## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

I'd like to know what level comes after multiple orgasms? I'd like to go to that level too! LOL! 

What's wrong with you taking the lead in this area of your marriage? It seems like you guys are already happy.


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## Loving Husband (Aug 3, 2009)

Themrs. I have but she has not been crazy about my suggestions so I want to know what she would like to try then she goes I don't know. So I was wondering if anybody out there has a site thats informative more then just pictures or movies of sex. I want my wife to look around and see what peaks her interest. This way I can know which way she is thinking..


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## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

Loving Husband said:


> Themrs. I have but she has not been crazy about my suggestions so I want to know what she would like to try then she goes I don't know. So I was wondering if anybody out there has a site thats informative more then just pictures or movies of sex. I want my wife to look around and see what peaks her interest. This way I can know which way she is thinking..


I'm willing to bet she really doesn't know what she is thinking either. 

My husband asked me on many occasions what he could do better in the bedroom, but he already gives me orgasms. That's enough for me. So when he asks me what else or what's next, I really don't have an answer for him. I'm willing to try anything he wants, but I'm already satisfied. Now I feel pressure to figure out something and I'm racking my brain trying to come up with different ideas when I'm not the one who wants more. 

I think you should get a book like the Karma Sutra or Joy of Sex and ask her to put tabs next to the positions that look interesting to her. After she's done that, you go through it and find the ones that match what you want to do. That way she can take the book and look at it in her own time without feeling uncomfortable in front of you. Then once you've both got an idea of what looks good, get a bottle of wine and tell her tonight you'd like to try page #30 or whatever. 

At any rate, don't put too much pressure on her. Find a way to do it that is subtle, but still gives you an idea of what she would like. It's intimidating when you're put on the spot about your fantasies.


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## Loving Husband (Aug 3, 2009)

We have 4 movies that are sugestive. One is about different positions and we watched but maybe we need to again. One os about oral.. We watched from what I could do to her but didn't last long enough to see what she could do to me. It's something we talked about even last night making a night to watch that part in the near future. There was one that's anal though she hasn't been to crazy about that yet starting to open up and try a little bit at a time and the last is toys.. We haven't seen that but I want to soon.. I guess those 4 videos is the start.. Just was hoping she would take the initiative on it. I hate driving almost all aspects of our life.


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## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

Loving Husband said:


> We have 4 movies that are sugestive. One is about different positions and we watched but maybe we need to again. One os about oral.. We watched from what I could do to her but didn't last long enough to see what she could do to me. It's something we talked about even last night making a night to watch that part in the near future. There was one that's anal though she hasn't been to crazy about that yet starting to open up and try a little bit at a time and the last is toys.. We haven't seen that but I want to soon.. I guess those 4 videos is the start.. Just was hoping she would take the initiative on it. I hate driving almost all aspects of our life.


Well it's a start. 

Why can't you take the perspective that you're grateful that you have a wife who wants to please you? A lot of men on the boards don't even have wives who are interested in sex at all, let alone the idea of watching instructional videos together. 

I'm sure there are areas of your life where she does most of the driving.


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## Loving Husband (Aug 3, 2009)

themrs said:


> Well it's a start.
> 
> Why can't you take the perspective that you're grateful that you have a wife who wants to please you? A lot of men on the boards don't even have wives who are interested in sex at all, let alone the idea of watching instructional videos together.
> 
> I'm sure there are areas of your life where she does most of the driving.


Well that's the problem she isn't in that mind set. Sex for the most part has almost always been what I do to or for her. I receive very little for the most part. Some reasons I think are because of her insecurity in the way she looks and some with her lack of experience. I am trying to get her to that point where she wants to please me. We are working on it but thats why I did this post. I wanted to see if anybody knew what good info is out there.


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## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

Loving Husband said:


> Well that's the problem she isn't in that mind set. Sex for the most part has almost always been what I do to or for her. I receive very little for the most part. Some reasons I think are because of her insecurity in the way she looks and some with her lack of experience. I am trying to get her to that point where she wants to please me. We are working on it but thats why I did this post. I wanted to see if anybody knew what good info is out there.


I'm pretty sure she does want to please you and she thinks she is by having sex with you. I understand what you are saying though. 

Can't you tell her what you like and ask her to do it? Maybe she just needs some instruction.


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## Loving Husband (Aug 3, 2009)

I think she does in her head yes... I guess the oral video is probably the best start... It will allow her to learn without feeling awkward.. As I said I was just looking for a site where she could visit when I am not around. This way she could investigate without feeling pressured.. Thats all..


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## Calypso (May 11, 2009)

There is a site that has little videos that show you different positions. Then has little tips and info that might help her. 

Sex Positions Guide


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