# Been cheated on so many times, but cant let go



## bodyshopguy (Dec 7, 2013)

My wife and I came from broken homes. She was severly abused in every way in her childhood, became attached to me quickly while we were dating and intentionally became pregnant because she wanted a husband and family imediately.

We did not know what we were getting into.

The first 5 years she was just constantly depressed, and dissapointed with how our life was, I did not try very hard to help her.

After our second child, things actually became better, but at about 10 years of marriage I realized that my fears of her having EA's with old boyfriends on myspace were true. 

We reconciled.

Since then, it has been about a 2 year cycle. 

Her cheating escalated from just emotional dependency in 2008, Facebook cheating in 2009, then to phone sexting in 2010.

We reconciled.

Earlier this year she decided that I had not been a good husband to her... (WOW) and so justified meeting men in person.
She has carried on texting affairs all summer, finally meeting a guy that picked her up in a mall to make the affair physical while I was out of town with our kids on my birthday.

We reconciled.

We were begining to make progress there, but at the same time talk of divorce, when she let another man pick her up who is a family friend, that she apparantly has fantasized about for most of this year.

Now they meet during the day at hotels about every other day.

He is an attorney and can give her material things and enjoy a lifestyle that I have never been able to provide her.  One painfull part is that he has an association with our older son and they both talk about how much they care for the others children.

We are still sleeping in the same bed ( when she is home ), and if she stopped tommarow, I think I would still reconcile. 

I am a good guy, take care of her ( she never had a steady job ) and our sons, and have literally moved across country just to make her happy. 

I wish we could get past this but anyone reading it will probably wonder why.

We are now 41M 39F, with a 15 and 12 year old and have been together 16 years.

Why cant I let her go?


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## Honorbound (Nov 19, 2013)

Wow... have you come to the right place. You really need to read No More Mr. Nice Guy. That link is to Amazon, but I have seen folks on here post a link to a bootleg .pdf of the book. It will open your eyes.

She is doing this to you because she does not respect you - and because you allow her to. Every time you take her back you are basically telling her it is okay if she cheats on you.

Please read that book - it is a quick read.


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## ThreeStrikes (Aug 11, 2012)

Change all the "We reconciled" statements in your post to:

"I allowed it to go on without consequences".


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## Brokenman85 (Jul 24, 2013)

Sounds like cheating is in her DNA. Same with my STBXW. Some women just can't help but try to chase that new "butterfly" feeling every so often. It's best to cut the cord for good. She isn't going to change. She will keep hurting you over and over again because she is a selfish POS(sorry to be blunt). I'm sorry you are here...many of us feel your pain.


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## GotLifeBack (Sep 12, 2013)

Sorry you're here mate. It sucks and my advice may seem harsh, but I mean well.

Man up. Stop being a doormat

File for divorce if you haven't already. Don't tolerate her crap, don't even consider reconciling.

Enforce consequences of her diabolical actions.

Take good care of your kids.

Get in to IC to find out why you allow yourself to be treated this way.

And I'll second what Honorbound said about No More Mr. Nice Guy. Read it, then read it again, and then again. 

You deserve better.


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