# Grandparents in divorce



## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

I was wondering if anyone could give perspective on what to do with the grandparents/older parents when a couple is going through divorce.

My mother and father have suffered deep depressions each - I guess they want to think their kids will live happily ever after and when it doesnt happen. . .they go to pieces.

Honestly, out of all the parties involved, they are the ones I feel have handled it the worst.

Truth be known. . .I stayed in a caustic relationship for years partially becuase I knew my mother would be devastated at the thought of a divorce and having the family fractured. I just couldn't do it anymore. They knew how she treated me, they knew just about everything but they never told me to leave her. Now they do say, "Why did you put up with it for so long?" but yet, they are depressed. Anti-depressants help somewhat. 

I just try to avoid talking about the divorce now. . .the legal wranglings and such.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Think of them more as people and less as your parents. I went through this process way back when my parents split. There are circumstances where everyone is better served when you step out of the parent/child reationship. 

If you are doing fine and they are pumping you for information only to fuel their own anxiety, then you should diffuse or discourage the behavior.

I have often commented on my effed up in-laws. They already had a poor opinion of their daughter, and me for that matter. In their screwed up view,our divorce reinforces their perception that she is a failure and a poor reflection on them.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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