# the unmighty dollar :(



## 2005tahoe (Aug 23, 2013)

I met my wife in 2003 at the place where I worked after a coworker introduced her to me. We instantly fell in love and dated four years and then moved into an apartment together to start our lives together. In 2007 we got married and bought a house within the same month, this did put us into a financial strain but we made it work and was happily married.

I had the pleasure of meeting her family and unfortunately her mother and I do not get along, its not that I hate her but we dont see eye to eye on issues. The is nothing that I would not do for my mother in law if she asked. My wife and I have had arguments in front of her mom but there was no yelling or anything like that, just disagreements. 

In 2008 the company that I worked for ended up shutting down forcing me to look for employment. I found a job before my last day at the current company but unfortunately it paid 10-15K less but I had to take it. In the mean time I took 3 other jobs that paid around the same amount as the second job but they had promising futures that didnt happen.

Well after using credit cards to furnish our house and going on a honeymoon put us in a financial mess. We did bring some debt into the marriage but it was not alot. Fast forward to early 2012, I took yet another job paying the most money that I ever made but the financial damage was done. We had stopped paying credit cards in 2010 after getting so far behind on them that we would never see our way out. In December 2012 I was sued by a collection agency and my wife and I had no option but to file for bankruptcy.

We filed BK in early 2013 as a chapter 7 but know there would be a chance that it would be converted to a chapter 13 because our income was about the median income of 2 for our state. So, after a few months of trying for the chapter 7 we found out that it got converted to a chapter 13 in late May 2013. Well, I went home to give my wife the bad news and this is where she got really angry. I have never seen her this mad. I went ahead and had out attorney to get the chapter 13 papers ready to sign so we could get on with the payment plan. I asked her to remain calm and let us find out what the chapter 13 payment plan would be. Well it was only going to be $100 a month for 60 months to take care of ALOT of debt. 

Well, Sunday she kissed me and told me that she loved me and went to church with her mom and went to shop afterwards. I tried to call her a few times throughout the day and finally got ahold of her and was kind of upset that she didnt answer her phone, well that turned into an argument in front of her mom. 

Well, after that argument she decided to stay at her moms house that night figuring that she needed some cool off time. This was the first of June, since then I have not gotten one phone call from her or text message, like she disappeared out of my life. 

A few days later I found out what our BK 13 payment plan was going to be. It was going to be $100 a month for 60 months to take care of ALOT of debt. I emailed her that info telling her that we could manage that and if she would tell me whats wrong so I can correct whatever she is upset about. I have not heard from her to this day and its been seven weeks with no contact whats so ever.

A month later I was served a decree of separation papers. In it she has me keeping the house and payments on it. She request keeping her vehicle but me paying the payments and all associated cost to go with it. She wants alimony, we have no kids and she makes more money than I do. She wants me to supply her with health insurance, we have never had a joint health insurance policy together and in 2008 when I lost the good job we could no longer afford it and we have not had it since then.

Her car payment had not been paid in the 2 months since she left but I cant afford to pay it and keep the house payment and utilities. She is staying at her moms house with no rent and makes more money than I do. 

Im thinking the bankruptcy had alot to do with it but my wedding vows mean the world to me and I would have never have thought I would be going through this. I have been to counselors and to the preacher at my church to see if he would reach out to her mom to first of all reconcile with her and hopefully with my wife. The only thing that she brought up was finances for some reason. 

I am just lost with whats going on. I would love to save my marriage but I am not getting any kind of response from her. We go to court about our separation next week. Will I get a chance to talk to her then? Will the judge recommend counseling?


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## wilderness (Jan 9, 2013)

This is about as cowardly as it gets. Get a lawyer and make sure you ask for the world in court. Ask for alimony, her to pay the mortgage, her to make your car payment, her to insure you, etc...
I'm sorry you are going through this.


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## 2005tahoe (Aug 23, 2013)

We had our first hearing on july 30th and she did all but throw the book at me as far as what she wanted. 

She wants alimony, judge denied!!
she wanted me to cover her health insurance: judge denied!!
She wanted me to pay her car & maintenance: judge denied!!

The only thing that I was denied on was half of the mortgage payment, but im really not asking for anything but for this divorce to not happen.

All of this on top of her lying about not knowing about the bankruptcy and where all of the debt came from. She told her lawyer that she was unaware of the debt that we had and that bills were not getting paid on time. Our wedding was close to $14000 and the numerous cruises that we went on cost us as well. I guess she had amnesia during that time. 

They will see that bills were paid within a reasonable amout of time, not always by the due date, but within reason. My lawyer has the past 3 years of bank statements to look at to prove my side. 

All of this over money is stupid, what happened to "for richer or poorer" ?

I have been 180 since July 14th and have not heard a peep out of her. A mutual friend that I knew before she did blocked me on Facebook for no reason and she was showing my wife my FB page so I just deleted it all together, to me its drama city. 

Sorry for the sporadic post.


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

> what happened to "for richer or poorer" ?


That was for the wedding ceremony. The moment she took that dress off, the vows got dusted off her mind too. Never fall for stupid sh1t like that again. Vows mean nothing.

I know exactly how you feel and am not here to tell you to suck it up and move on. You can't. There's a period of healing involved. It gets painful. Brace yourself. It gets even more painful. Brace yourself. Then it gets even more painful. Brace yourself. Then it starts getting easier. Brace yourself.

Want to have an easier time coping with the pain that is about to engulf you?

Follow these. They work:

*Synthetic's 10 Commandments*:

1. Read this link - *Just Let Them Go*

2. Follow the following rules: *The 180 degree rules*

3. Read this short book in the next 24 hours: *No More Mr. Nice Guy
* 
4. Separate all finances and stop supporting her 'single' lifestyle

5. Book a counseling appointment ASAP

6. Doesn't matter how you do it, but *sweat the pain of anxiety out*. Treadmills are your best friend. Use them. This is very important: You need to physically feel spent before you hit bed every night. 

7. Think a lot, read a lot, and cry as needed - This particular link should be open in your browser at all times and read multiple times: *DO YOU LOVE TO BE NEEDED, OR NEED TO BE LOVED?*

8. Find your social worth by socializing with as many people as possible (females work better). Spend time with friends, but don't just settle for your circle of friends. This is the best time to make new ones and feel attractive/attracted. You're not looking for sex or a relationship. You're looking for natural human attraction between you and others.

9. Do whatever it takes to go on a trip that involves a long flight, preferably to a country where English or your first language is not spoken

10. Start living an 'overly' fun life without feeling any guilt. This is the hardest task ahead. It's important to wash the guilt out of yourself once you have realized where it originates from via all the reading and counseling you've done.


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## Clawed (May 21, 2013)

This is crazy... you probably think I am nuts, but there are actually quite a few parallels between this and my own situation. Not in terms of the money, but your bizarre relationship with your wife as a result.

It's really a shame that money can have such a huge impact on relationships, but the fact is, it's the number one issue that married couples have: disagreements about money. 

I really sympathize with you here. YOU are not your financial decisions. Those were obviously made jointly, and she needs to take ownership of that.

I hate to say that you are probably better off without someone like that, especially since you love her very much, but the reality is that she is letting money get in the way of her marriage vows, that's a pretty damn big red flag that she does not even deserve you.

If worse case happens and you two are finished as a result of this. Take some time to heal and then really figure out what you need to do to get back to a good financial picture. I STRONGLY suggest following all of Dave Ramsey's principles because it is money management at it's most basic. If it were not for him, I would be in a mess of a divorce right now, but in the last three years we paid off ALL debt. Too bad I have a bigger retirement than she does.

Good luck, brother


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

2005tahoe said:


> The only thing that I was denied on was half of the mortgage payment, but im really not asking for anything but for this divorce to not happen..


No offense, but why do you still want to be married to her? Only a sociopath would behave the way she did. She obviously feels no remorse about deserting you. Find a good person, one with a heart.


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## 2005tahoe (Aug 23, 2013)

VermisciousKnid said:


> No offense, but why do you still want to be married to her? Only a sociopath would behave the way she did. She obviously feels no remorse about deserting you. Find a good person, one with a heart.


Im sure you are right and that time will heal all wounds. I believe heavily in God and my wedding vows to her. My promise to her and God is something that I can not let go. I have been involved in a church that I love to go to and that helps me with my healing process.

She has gotten alot of negative advice from her mother. Her mother and I do not get along but do not hate each other. But my wife can not seem to keep her out of our personal issues. 

I have asked my parents politely to support me while I am going through this and keep any negative comments about my wife silent to me. I dont care to hear them.


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## Clawed (May 21, 2013)

synthetic said:


> 1. Read this link - *Just Let Them Go*


CRAP ~ Where was this when I needed it 5 months ago !!


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## Clawed (May 21, 2013)

The more you write here, the more I think we are alike.

I have had an extremely tough time with my divorce too. My wife and I are both Christians, so I feel a very weighty moral obligation to stay in the marriage. I am trying to honor my vows. Here is the thing though: it does not matter. She wants a divorce, so no matter how much I want to work things out, no matter how much I would do to get things better - she still has the power to destroy things. You have to realize that it is not your fault. You will not be judged according to this decision she is making.

It's a terrible scenario - she has all of the power in this and you will do anything to fix things that ultimately only she can allow you to fix. My wife pushed all morals aside to make her decisions, and do you want to know the best part? She says that she is already forgiven for the infidelity and the divorce. Ha! What a way to turn it around for her benefit. There is simply no reasoning with someone who wants out...

And don't get me started on the poison relationship she has with her enabling parents...


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## 2005tahoe (Aug 23, 2013)

Thanks guys, I am in a complete fog right now


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## 2005tahoe (Aug 23, 2013)

Well the Karma bus has hit.....

My sister decided to get her nose involved in my marriage and give my wife a piece of her mind on how her marriage ended with her ex-husband. My wife and my sister went out to lunch the friday before my wife left me so they could "talk". I had a few choice words with my sister about not getting involved in my marriage or anyone elses in that matter and told her that I never wish to see her again and to never call me.

Well a few days ago she received a certified letter from her employer stating that she was being terminated from her job.

Sometimes in life people create their own problems by getting involved in other peoples problems that they have no business in.

I feel a little better though


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

Clawed said:


> CRAP ~ Where was this when I needed it 5 months ago !!


My thoughts EXACTLY.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

2005tahoe said:


> Well the Karma bus has hit.....
> 
> My sister decided to get her nose involved in my marriage and give my wife a piece of her mind on how her marriage ended with her ex-husband. My wife and my sister went out to lunch the friday before my wife left me so they could "talk". I had a few choice words with my sister about not getting involved in my marriage or anyone elses in that matter and told her that I never wish to see her again and to never call me.
> 
> ...


Not defending your sister, but us women, we think we know everything, and we always stick our noses in everything. :/

Maybe your parents should have a talk with your sister? They seem pretty chill (I love that they refuse to say anything bad about your wife; my parents have been the same way about my STBXH, and I really appreciate it), and even adult children need parental guidance (stern talking to) sometimes.


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## somethingnewmaybe (May 12, 2013)

My marriage went the same way. $ > love


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## 2005tahoe (Aug 23, 2013)

it really suprises me that this has happened. We were about to get over the bankruptcy and start our repayment plan and we would have been done in 5 years. Backing out now has helped nothing as our credit is already damaged. She can not buy a house until we decide on what we will do with ours and our cars have both of our names attached to the loans. 

I dont get why she did this now instead of 4 or 5 years ago when the problems hit.


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## somethingnewmaybe (May 12, 2013)

Cowardice? Women suck.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BFGuru (Jan 28, 2013)

somethingnewmaybe said:


> Cowardice? Women suck.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Some would say the same for men.


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## somethingnewmaybe (May 12, 2013)

True. Overgeneralized post was intentionally overgeneralized.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 2005tahoe (Aug 23, 2013)

I am just being curious about something that I would like the WAW give their input on.

Do WAW feel any failure or any kind of emotions when they give up on the marriage, house, cars and pets when they leave? It just blows my mind to think that my wife, after 10 years together, just packs up and leaves WITHOUT one call or, text or voicemail in the 3 months since she left.

I am still attached to her and still want my marriage to work even though I have been getting a life of my own, going to the gym and eating better.

Just a thought.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

2005tahoe said:


> Do WAW feel any failure or any kind of emotions when they give up on the marriage, house, cars and pets when they leave? It just blows my mind to think that my wife, after 10 years together, just packs up and leaves WITHOUT one call or, text or voicemail in the 3 months since she left.


I'm not a WAW, but my STBXH did this to me, though we agreed to separate - but we also agreed that we would stay in touch and date one another, and he just disappeared. He took two suitcases, his laptop, the XBox, the TV from our bedroom, and a box of booze.

The only reason contact resumed was because I confronted him about his BS behavior when the separation was nearing the date when we were supposed to meet and decide whether we should reconcile or not. We were supposed to be working on ourselves and contemplating our marriage and how we both contributed to our problems, but he was just trying to get laid as quickly as possible.

I hope someone can give you the feedback you're looking for, but you might have to accept the fact that you may never know what is/was going on in her head. I know pretty much exactly what my STBXH was thinking, even if he doesn't understand it, but that only helps marginally, if at all.


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## somethingnewmaybe (May 12, 2013)

^I'm the same way. People will claw to whatever they have to in order to justify their behavior. They'll make you wrong in any way they have to as well. No answer will come because admitting they're wrong is ego death. How can they do that when they spent so much energy getting everyone on their side?


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

somethingnewmaybe said:


> ^I'm the same way. People will claw to whatever they have to in order to justify their behavior. They'll make you wrong in any way they have to as well. No answer will come because admitting they're wrong is ego death. How can they do that when they spent so much energy getting everyone on their side?


So true!!! He was telling everyone lies about me before he even moved out. He told everyone that I hated him, never wanted to see him, and wanted a divorce, all without giving him a reason; that he thought we had a happy marriage, and I just stomped all over his poor, defenseless heart without even giving him a chance. ALL OF WHICH IS BULLSH!T. I'd go into it, but if anyone really cares, they can read my threads, and they'll see how it's all lies.

So I've pretty much lost all of our "mutual" friends, except for the handful who know me really well, and who know him well enough to see through his BS (including our mutual friend who took him in when my STBXH moved out).  Sadly, they're his closest friends as well, so even though I know they don't buy his BS and agree that he's being an idiot, 1) they're not going to tell him that, and 2) I still don't get to hang out with them b/c of the STBXH. Total suckage.


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## somethingnewmaybe (May 12, 2013)

Mine too. In fact mine told ME lies and I believed them because at the time I thought "how could she lie?" 

Not until I stepped away, read books on communication, needs, behavior and learned the typical patterns of a walk away spouse did I see the lies.

I walked away from ALL of her friends. I liked them a lot...but if all they were willing to do was say "do what makes you happy sweetie" then all they're good for is reinforcing her toxic behavior. She has no good role models for marriage. None.

I have learned SO much in this divorce. Things that I will never put up with again. She thought we'd be friends and she'd escape all accountability. I am the doormat no longer sweetie.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

somethingnewmaybe said:


> Mine too. In fact mine told ME lies and I believed them because at the time I thought "how could she lie?"
> 
> Not until I stepped away, read books on communication, needs, behavior and learned the typical patterns of a walk away spouse did I see the lies.
> 
> ...


I'm with you on ALL OF THIS.

EDIT: What makes me just a little crazy is that ALL OF HIS FRIENDS think he's being an idiot, but no one is willing to call him out on it. Many of them that have recused them from giving advice -- I'm guessing because he's ignored their advice in the past. (Apparently, one of his friends predicted pretty much this exact situation; that, essentially, if the marriage was to crash and burn, my STBXH would be entirely at fault. When? Before or after we got married? I don't know.) The only people who are giving him advice are the morons encouraging his hound-dog behavior. There's really only one friend I want to retain, and that's the friend he's been living with - I finally saw him about two weeks ago, and he was genuinely happy to see me. I've known him longer than my husband has, so I feel entitled to keep him as a friend. I mean, my husband has to move out of his house eventually.


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## somethingnewmaybe (May 12, 2013)

At some point just remember that birds of a feather flock together. If they want to be dodo birds then let em....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 2005tahoe (Aug 23, 2013)

somethingnewmaybe said:


> Mine too. In fact mine told ME lies and I believed them because at the time I thought "how could she lie?"
> 
> Not until I stepped away, read books on communication, needs, behavior and learned the typical patterns of a walk away spouse did I see the lies.
> 
> ...


I have walked away from everyone that knows my wife and started talking to old friends that I knew before her. Most of our mutual friends have shut me out too except for one that I go to church with. I am already getting over it and want to meet someone else but it seems that anyone that I meet does not want to get involved when they find out that I am separated. Its a sucky feeling. 

I will be glad when brighter days are ahead


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## 2005tahoe (Aug 23, 2013)

Ok, I talked with a very close mutual friend last night that is like a mom to me. We talked about how much I have changed for the better and in better shape healthwise. She was hinting at clues as to not give up hope, that a year separation is a long time to think about the relationship and that saving it does come into play with the WAW. 

She knows for a fact that she is not cheating on me and I believe her because she has never lied to me. That my wife is trying to find "herself". She told me to keep doing what I was doing as far as GAL and 180. We are only 3 months into our separation. To me that is forever but to repair the damage done may take years. Also, she said something to me that hinted about my wife contacting me but I dont remember what was exactly said. 

What do you guys get from this?


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## somethingnewmaybe (May 12, 2013)

At this point I don't even care if mine cheated on me although she claims that she didn't... to boot she admitted it was all about money. Indirectly of course. I say ask yourself if the punishment fit the crime and if it's hard to add up puzzle pieces then you're probably better off alone the opportunity to find someone new. 

Just my opinion
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 2005tahoe (Aug 23, 2013)

Ok, things have seemed to calm down a little bit. I have been NC for 2 full months. I have not heard from any lawyers in the past few weeks, I hope that this gives her time to think about what she is doing. In the mean time I have lost 52 pounds and hitting the gym. I am down to 148 as of this morning and having to buy new clothes that actually fit me. 

I have made new friends at the gym and at a local hangout. It still hurts that this is happening but all I can do is deal with it now.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Just keep going with what you have been doing. You will come out of this in a much better place.


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## 2005tahoe (Aug 23, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> Just keep going with what you have been doing. You will come out of this in a much better place.



I hope so. I hope the "fog" lifts from her before it is to late for me to decide on if I want to reconcile. I do still love her and will forgive her after some major counseling but I cant wait forever b/c it will kill me. I am holding out on her "greener" grass to turn brown and then maybe she will realize what she has done and the pain that it has caused.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Have you let her know that you are still open to reconciliation?


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## 2005tahoe (Aug 23, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> Have you let her know that you are still open to reconciliation?



She served me with separation papers just 2 weeks after she left. Not enough time to think about ruining a 10 year relationship. But, I did put that in my letter to her lawyer about our history together and my lawyer called her lawyer and talked to him about it. As of that day she said that she didnt want to reconcile, her mom is having a bad influence on this and pretty much telling her daughter how to live her life.


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## MSC71 (Aug 1, 2012)

Most women have been planning long before you were served. I have been where you are and im telling you to let go. Get it in your mind that she is not coming back. If she does come back then you can decide to accept her back or not. But dont waste time hoping she will come back like I did.


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## 2005tahoe (Aug 23, 2013)

MSC71 said:


> Most women have been planning long before you were served. I have been where you are and im telling you to let go. Get it in your mind that she is not coming back. If she does come back then you can decide to accept her back or not. But dont waste time hoping she will come back like I did.


That is easier said than done, but I get your point. This is the most pain that I have ever felt in my life. How can someone be so heartless and cold after 10 years together?


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

> I am holding out on her "greener" grass to turn brown and then maybe she will realize what she has done and the pain that it has caused.


Don't.

You'll hate yourself.


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## MSC71 (Aug 1, 2012)

*Re: Re: the unmighty dollar *



2005tahoe said:


> That is easier said than done, but I get your point. This is the most pain that I have ever felt in my life. How can someone be so heartless and cold after 10 years together?


Trust me. I know. Much easier said than done. I have been there and im even in a worse place now. I will say there will be questions that you will never get an answer for. It sucks. I know. hang in there.


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## 2005tahoe (Aug 23, 2013)

Ok, so I am 4 months into our separation. Today was a pretrial hearing until my wife agreed to sign the chapter 13 bankruptcy papers!! I waited 2 hours to see the judge and we finally went in the court room when I found this out, less than 5 minutes in the courtroom.

Just back in may is the reason she left, we had filed BK and they converted our CH 7 case to a CH 13. Then she refused to sign them and left me. Now we have to go through this stuff again with the bankruptcy lawyer. She even offered to do all of the work to get another CH. 13 petition ready and was going to call the previous BK lawyer today.

I dont know if i am taking that as a sign of her softening up to me or what. I did ask my lawyer to ask hers about marriage counseling and she declined again, this is the second time I have asked for it. 

I did notice her looking at me, I have lost 52 lbs since she left back in June and has only seen me once in July during our Temp. hearing.

Am I reading too deep into this as a sign from her that she still cares, loves me or what?


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

2005tahoe said:


> Ok, so I am 4 months into our separation. Today was a pretrial hearing until my wife agreed to sign the chapter 13 bankruptcy papers!! I waited 2 hours to see the judge and we finally went in the court room when I found this out, less than 5 minutes in the courtroom.
> 
> Just back in may is the reason she left, we had filed BK and they converted our CH 7 case to a CH 13. Then she refused to sign them and left me. Now we have to go through this stuff again with the bankruptcy lawyer. She even offered to do all of the work to get another CH. 13 petition ready and was going to call the previous BK lawyer today.
> 
> ...


Your best chance is to move on. Keep working on you. 

Quit asking for anything from her (ie the marriage counseling). Make it look like you are no longer interested in her.

People want what they can't have.


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## 2005tahoe (Aug 23, 2013)

I was just thinking about something. Why is she agreeing to refile BK with me knowing that it is going to be a 5 year plan? 

This is one of the major reasons that she left, me not managing money well. I never bounced a check or overdrawn our checking account. 

Could she be realizing that she can not run from the debt? That she maybe thinking that if we get this pressure off of us that she may come back around to R?

I am SO against this divorce and have been praying every night for the fog to lift and hear her voice again and talks of R.


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## 2005tahoe (Aug 23, 2013)

Ok, I have consulted with a bankruptcy attorney this week. He has agreed to meet with just my wife and I. He has told me up front that he is not going to put up with any bickering between the two of us. I have not been argumentive during this whole separation, im just letting the lawyers hash it out. I am not asking for anything in this divorce but half of what we own and my attorney fees.

I guess we are going to include the house in the bankruptcy and let the bank have it back. I have a temp court order to keep the house for now. I will not have good enough credit to refi in just my name to get hers off of it and if I am late on a payment and my wife finds out then she can have me held for contempt of court and I could go to jail. To me the house is not worth that, plus what if im out sick without pay or lose my job, its not worth the risk.

I have already been looking at some apartments in my local area to see what my options are.

How long will it take the bank to tell me to leave the house when we include the house in the BK? Do I stop paying on it when I file BK?

thanks


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## 2005tahoe (Aug 23, 2013)

Just an update.

Ok, I am almost 6 months into my separation and I can say that I feel much better about myself. I am down 60 pounds and hitting the gym alot and making friends there.

I did get a letter from my lawyer that was from her lawyer requesting some belongings from the house. The lawyers told us both that we need to communicate with each other about this stuff. I am open to communication but I no longer have any contact info for my wife. So, I did the best that I could and shipped some of her stuff UPS, I guess I will continue to do so until all of the small stuff is gone. Other than that it has been pretty quiet.

But other than that all is good. I am starting a discipleship program at my church and working on myself in order to move on with my life.


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## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

Glad to hear you're doing well. Time is an amazing healer. Just keep on moving forward.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

2005tahoe said:


> Just an update.
> 
> Ok, I am almost 6 months into my separation and I can say that I feel much better about myself. I am down 60 pounds and hitting the gym alot and making friends there.
> 
> ...


Good to hear -- glad to know you're doing well! Congrats on the 60+# loss, that's AWESOME! Keep up the good work.

Do you really have no contact info for her? Packing up her stuff and shipping via UPS is bound to get expensive...


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## 2005tahoe (Aug 23, 2013)

FeministInPink said:


> Good to hear -- glad to know you're doing well! Congrats on the 60+# loss, that's AWESOME! Keep up the good work.
> 
> Do you really have no contact info for her? Packing up her stuff and shipping via UPS is bound to get expensive...


No contact info what so ever. She doesnt check our joint email that we had and I have court orders to not contact her anyways. I tried to call her mom before the court order and was hung up on.

I get a discounted rate with UPS through work so I am good with that. I would rather not have them in my house anymore.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

Oof -- didn't know about that. Harsh.


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## CouldItBeSo (Mar 11, 2013)

This may sound weird to you but, why didn't you try to talk to your wife after she left when you still knew where she was? That's what most people would have done anyway... You've basically been sitting still six months doing nothing to improve things with her. I got from one of your posts that you blame your sister for your wife leaving, is this correct?


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