# 8 years lost ! Cheating mother..



## CJ2 (Oct 4, 2011)

When I met my GF , she was heavy into drugs. I tried to help her and moved far north to get her away from the city and her peers. When we moved into my fathers house, she started stealing from my father to buy beer while I was looking for a job. I sent her back south and got myself situated. She then somehow contacted me and was in trouble and needed help, so I flew her to where I was and she seemed to eventually straighten out.She then started going out with people from work and decided to leave me again. Within a week she came crying back and that night my son was conceived. She was straight during the pregnancy. After 3 years the work ran out and we were forced to come back south to live in her mothers house. It didn't take 3 months and she was back on pills and drinking. She actually took my son to by pills and do cocaine in the middle of me and him decorating the Christmas tree. She said they were going for a walk. He was only 2yrs old. I found the pills and took her to a detox center for withdraws. After a week there she was apologetic and seemed to be very honest about the whole mess. with 5 months she started staying out all night and would get dropped off by different guys at 5am. When I confronted her she asked me to leave the house, which I did within a week. Within 10 days she was sleeping with her boss and I found out one morning when I was dropping my son off at 6am. She tried to get him at the door but I knew something was up. I made my way toward the bedroom and she attacked me from behind with my son in her arms and dragged us all to the floor. I then saw her boss in her bed half dressed. I had her arrested for domestic violence which they eventually dropped the charge. I then had to call her every morning to get her out of his bed to come home and watch her son while I worked. about 2 months later she said she wanted help getting into a rehab so I moved her into my new house to hopefully get her straightened out for her son's sake. She procrastinated and went to a doctor which put her on suboxone ( Also very addictive ) which blocks her getting high off pills so she wouldn't take any. He also would drug test her every 2 weeks. Things seemed to be going well for awhile until spring hit and she started staying out all night again. I then found messages in her phone from her old boss and they had met up around Christmas time . So I told her she had to get her own place which she did. Within 2 weeks my mother's husband dropped my son off at her house because she never came to get him and when my son went into the bedroom he saw another strange guy in her bed. He quickly ran out of the room and sat on the floor and said " I can't be here right now ". He is 4yrs old at this point. This is the second guy in 12 months that he has witnessed in his mothers bed , each time shortly after sleeping in mine. I asked her to sign him over to me and she won't. After 2 months of sleeping with this new guy she cried that she wanted to kill herself and needed help again. She demanded she wanted to go into rehab. She started staying at my house again every night , even though she has her own place still. The past 2 months went by and she still had done nothing and is starting to stay out all night again. The other day I stopped by her house and my son was sitting by himself in the living room and she was snoring in her bedroom. I was there for 10 mins before I sent him in to wake her up. There was a beer by the bed. Now here is my problem ! We have never been married and never been to court for custody which in South Carolina she would have sole custody as it stands now. The lawyer wants 20k to try to get custody with no promises. The odds of me getting full custody are slim to none in South Carolina and if I try they will probably split custody and I will see him much less than I do now. Right now I have him 90% of the time. The judge would probably split it up 2 weeks each and I would have to pay her around $400/month in support. But if I don't do anything , she will have him around all these guys and legally could leave the state with my son. WHAT SHOULD I DO ? I know I am codependent and being used by her but always hoped she would get better. I know she can't possibly love me but I so much wanted to keep my family together for my sons sake. Sorry this was so long but had to give you the whole picture. There was alot more bad stuff she has done that I have left out just to shorten scenario. Please Help !


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

If you have your son 90% of the time then you have to document it to show the court that you are the primary care giver. Without documentation, the court will assume that your XGF is the primary care giver.

Please go to Dad's Divorce and get yourself informed on what you can do to improve the odds of getting physical custody of your son. Oh and ditch that lawyer and get one through Dad's divorce.


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## Geoffrey Marsh (Aug 11, 2011)

morituri said:


> If you have your son 90% of the time then you have to document it to show the court that you are the primary care giver. Without documentation, the court will assume that your XGF is the primary care giver.
> 
> Please go to Dad's Divorce and get yourself informed on what you can do to improve the odds of getting physical custody of your son. Oh and ditch that lawyer and get one through Dad's divorce.



:iagree::iagree::iagree:


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

Well done with recognising and accepting your codependency. I guess that means you also KNOW she will never get better while she has you to fall back on, while you are “there for her”?


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## sadcalifornian (Sep 18, 2011)

This is just horrible. I feel so bad for your son. I am not familiar with custody law in South Carolina, but with the current situation, you should have an excellent chance of gaining custody if you document all the things that happened in the past and are ongoing in the present. 

Also, you must realize that your codependent nature is just as toxic as her drug abuse and narcissistic tendancy. It's a bad mix where you let yourself used and abused. If you let this happen to your own life soley then that's one thing, but you are dragging down your son's life with it. You must recognize this self-destructing behavior of yours and put a stop to it. Stop helping her! Just concentrate on how to take this poor kid from this despicable creature that calls itself a mother. 

You think you have been helping her, but in a way you have been enabling her to continue this life style of her by catching her everytime she calls out for help. If you had not been there to help, who knows she might have hit the real bottom a long time ago and straightened herself out. My point is that you may think you have been helping her, but you really didn't. There is the moment to help someone and there is the moment to just walk away. You are not the omnipotent being that can change people. She has to have the awakening by herself to realize she has to change once and for all. 

Detach your feeling for her, and give everything you got trying to save the poor kid of yours. That, you must do as his father!


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## CJ2 (Oct 4, 2011)

AFEH said:


> Well done with recognising and accepting your codependency. I guess that means you also KNOW she will never get better while she has you to fall back on, while you are “there for her”?


Yes , I have known this for a long time , but every time she cries and says she REALLY needs and wants help I always have hope she is serious and will get it. She just comes back for a few months and does nothing but dirty up my house. I am just really sad about it all for me and especially my son.


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## CJ2 (Oct 4, 2011)

sadcalifornian said:


> This is just horrible. I feel so bad for your son. I am not familiar with custody law in South Carolina, but with the current situation, you should have an excellent chance of gaining custody if you document all the things that happened in the past and are ongoing in the present.
> 
> Also, you must realize that your codependent nature is just as toxic as her drug abuse and narcissistic tendancy. It's a bad mix where you let yourself used and abused. If you let this happen to your own life soley then that's one thing, but you are dragging down your son's life with it. You must recognize this self-destructing behavior of yours and put a stop to it. Stop helping her! Just concentrate on how to take this poor kid from this despicable creature that calls itself a mother.
> 
> ...


I have read up on codependency and am well aware of its grasp and destruction of everyone involved. Your right, it is actually worse than her disease and probably make hers progressively get worse . I can actually let her go but like I said I am in a real sticky situation having to give my son to her because she has custody until we do go to court and I have no proof of what is going on behind closed doors. All I know is she didn't call for 4 straight days to even talk to my son and then when she did she promised him he would see her. When the time came I believe she was on a double date and didn't have time for him. She pics and chooses when she wants to see him. Just a sad situation, but I am a great dad and I try to make him happy everyday. Thank you very much for your response.


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## sadcalifornian (Sep 18, 2011)

CJ2 said:


> Yes , I have known this for a long time , but every time she cries and says she REALLY needs and wants help I always have hope she is serious and will get it. She just comes back for a few months and does nothing but dirty up my house. I am just really sad about it all for me and especially my son.


Well, you can pretend helping her a little while more while you proceed with your laweyer to scheme how to take the primary custody of this kid. Once you secure the custody matter, then you must completely, I mean completely, detach yourself. When in need of serious help, I bet you are the 1st one she would call instead of her OM. Yet, for companionship, she would call her OM first. This is a bad relationship. Imagine this. Even if next time she cries for help bleeding to death in her house, you should refrain from going over there and instead just call police to deal with her. You have to take an extreme disposition to detach yourself.


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## CJ2 (Oct 4, 2011)

Thank you all so much for your input and opinions. I really appreciate them. As you could probably guess, I don't have any friends due to this nightmare i have been living and don't have anyone to talk to about it. This really helps me more than you know. Thanks !


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## sadcalifornian (Sep 18, 2011)

CJ2 said:


> I have read up on codependency and am well aware of its grasp and destruction of everyone involved. Your right, it is actually worse than her disease and probably make hers progressively get worse . I can actually let her go but like I said I am in a real sticky situation having to give my son to her because she has custody until we do go to court and I have no proof of what is going on behind closed doors. All I know is she didn't call for 4 straight days to even talk to my son and then when she did she promised him he would see her. When the time came I believe she was on a double date and didn't have time for him. She pics and chooses when she wants to see him. Just a sad situation, but I am a great dad and I try to make him happy everyday. Thank you very much for your response.


You have to find a good lawyer. Consult with him. A good lawyer will guide you to set up some kind of scheme to take the full custody of your son. How to document things, how to secure witnesses to testify what has been going on, securing all other evidences of her reckless behaviors and promiscuity, even your son's testimony although too young may help. You can also involve child protective service. 

I repeat. The first thing to do is find a good, competent lawyer and come up with some kind of strategy.


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## CJ2 (Oct 4, 2011)

sadcalifornian said:


> You have to find a good lawyer. Consult with him. A good lawyer will guide you to set up some kind of scheme to take the full custody of your son. How to document things, how to secure witnesses to testify what has been going on, securing all other evidences of her reckless behaviors and promiscuity, even your son's testimony although too young may help. You can also involve child protective service.
> 
> I repeat. The first thing to do is find a good, competent lawyer and come up with some kind of strategy.


I think my fear is that the court will appoint my son to see a psychiatrist and I can't imagine him going through that. I think that would horrify him more than anything. Right now , he is actually a very happy little boy. But I will take your advice and go see another lawyer. I kind of been procrastinating it just because I don't wanna lose and end up seeing him a lot less than I do now. Right now , she only sees my son from like 10am till 330pm a few days a week. I have him 6 nights a week. I know I have to do it though.


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## sadcalifornian (Sep 18, 2011)

CJ2 said:


> I think my fear is that the court will appoint my son to see a psychiatrist and I can't imagine him going through that. I think that would horrify him more than anything. QUOTE]
> 
> I don't get this part. Why do you think him seeing a psychiatrist is a bad idea? What harm do you think a psychiatrist will do to him? I think you are overly concerned with minutiae of things at the expense of seeing the big picture here.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

If SC won't work, then find a new state and move there. Bring her along if you have too. Get a lawyer there and once you've established a long enough residence sue for full custody.

You might want to DNA test the kid first though.

With that woman's track record of drugs and being with any guy who asks, * I cant see how any court would think she is a fit mother.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CJ2 (Oct 4, 2011)

sadcalifornian said:


> CJ2 said:
> 
> 
> > I think my fear is that the court will appoint my son to see a psychiatrist and I can't imagine him going through that. I think that would horrify him more than anything. QUOTE]
> ...


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## Romeo_Holden (Sep 17, 2011)

the woman was extremely toxic and dangerous...i would advise you to get some counselling or psychiatric help to deal with the co dependency...you need to rebuild yourself. everything else will fall into place as you go along.


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## CJ2 (Oct 4, 2011)

Well, its been awhile since I have been on here and many things have transpired since. The ex came back to me crying to get her some help on November 3rd. I made her leave the other guy she had been sleeping with for six weeks. She actually let me write the breakup speech and text it to him. He called the next morning and didn't believe that she wrote it. I brought the phone to her and she admitted she meant it. I then went to work while having a 40min conversation with this guy about who she was and what she does to guys. I told him that he was the 4th guy she had been with in 12 months and the 3rd in 2 months. I also told him that she was a raging drug addict and didn't love either of us but I try to keep her around for my sons sake and make the family try to work. He seemed understanding and thanked me for the advice and info. I gave her an ultimatum to get into a rehab within 4 days. I actually paid off her car since that is what was stopping her from going so she said. In six weeks of leaving me in september she had lost her car , got evicted and was gonna get her car repo'd. She also took up stripping for a weekend. I took her phone while she was with me and kept it by my side. I had answered it whenever somebody called. I had to tell all the drug deallers to leave her alone and that she would be gone for 6 months to rehab. I also got texts from some guy looking for sex. Come to find out it had got so bad she was shooting needles also. Well she poured on the tears and claimed she was gonna get herself straight for our family and that she wanted us to be happy. She went to detox on November 11th . I sent her a phone,stamps and some belonging she needed. She called about 2 weeks into it and said she was out of detox and gonna get into the 28 day program they had available on site which was alot shorter program than what we agreed upon. We planned she would do a 3-6 month program. She always takes the easy way out. She called a few more times throughout the program and claimed she could only talk for 10mins twice per week. She sounded great and sincere and kept telling me that things were gonna get better for us and she couldn't wait to come home. She also said that her and the counselors thought it would be a great idea to play a fun game with my son and count down the days till mommy came home. On december 27 she got released and told me not to worry about picking her up and that her NA sponsor was gonna come get her. I knew something was fishy about that. She called around 10:30am and said she would be here soon. I asked her how she got picked up and she claimed her sponsor did again. I knew better, so I waited outside for her to pull in. Sure enough she pulled up with the same guy she was sleeping with before and told me she was moving in with him into a new apartment ! Then she couldn't understand why I was so pissed and yelling. She blamed me for stressing her out in the first 20 mins back. Now I have to tell my son that the fun countdown was all a mistake and mommy wasn't coming home ! He didn't take it well. So she stayed for 4hrs and visited with my son and had the guy pick her back up and took all her stuff with her. She came the next 2 nights to see him and stayed till midnight till her man got out of work to pick her up. The second night she said she wanted to come home and make things work .So the next day she had me pick her up at his house at 1100am and I dropped her off at my house and went back to work. The guy came by at 3:00pm and dropped all her stuff back off. My floor was covered with her junk. I got home 1 hour later and she was a crying mess and said she felt bad for what she did to him. She told my mother that she didn't love me anymore and this house just didn't feel right to her. So when her man got out of work at midnight , he came and loaded all her stuff back up and took her out again ! About 6 days later I got a text that she needed to talk to me in person. I tried to have her just call and she said that he couldn't hear what she had to say. So I let her come by. she got on the floor and started crying that she was sorry and that someone should have stopped her from leaving. She said she had been miserable over there and made the biggest mistake of her life. She claimed that I was the only one that ever cared about her and she really wanted us to work. SO GUESS WHAT ? She stayed overnight and left the next day around 1pm and he picked her up. That night after he went to work she packed all her stuff back up and had me pick her up at 11pm before he got out of work. She left him a note ( according to her ) that said she had cheated on him the whole time they were together and that I had never lied to him about anything. She left his phone on the counter and came back to my house. As we were driving she said " Oh well , you warned him what I was like and he didn't listen. What was he thinking ? " as she laughed ! Putting the blame on him. The first 5 days were great . We laughed and cuddled , went out to eat and made love a few times. On the sixth day she woke up and wouldn't even talk to me and right away I knew she was thinking about him ! She said she was going for a walk around 2pm and she is not a walker . I figured she was walking to his house and knew he had to be to work by 3:30pm. He lives about 2 miles down the road. I also knew that he had to drive by my house to get to work, so I went across the street and waited around 320pm . Sure enough he dropped her off up the road from my house and drove away. I pulled up next to her and said I saw him drop her of and she just laughed with the most evil smile ever. I told her to go home and pack her stuff and get out for good. I then called him and told him to come get her for the 5th time within 2 weeks and asked him if he was getting the picture yet of who she was? He didn't respond and she got mad. When he showed up I went downstairs and he had his door open. I hollered over at him and thanked him for letting me borrow her for a couple days ! He didn't say a word... Now she has been out of the house for 4days so far and wants to come see her son while I work. I don't trust her in my house alone so I got a lock for my bedroom , so she can't snoop and use my computer. I forgot to mention that I did get her to sign Physical custody over to me before she went to rehab. She wouldn't even read the terms and still signed it. When she got out of rehab she then read it and didn't like what it said, but I told her I wasn't gonna change a thing on it. It allows her visitation at my discretion and supervised until she can provide a clean hair sample which will tell if she has done any drug in the last 3 months. I also have the right to make her take a urine test if I feel she is on drugs. My biggest problem is that the court date is not until March 5th and then it becomes final . But it is still a binding contract until then . She has signed off on being at the hearing because she doesn't wanna be questioned by the judge. So right now I am trying not to get her mad so she doesn't challenge the documents. If she does then I am in a court battle. I will just appease her until then hopefully and then I will have true control over the situation and can relax a bit. I absolutely hate the idea that she will probably take him around this other guy at some point and there is not much I can do to stop it other than threaten to get her for child support if she does !


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Hm, i wonder if you could get her to volunarily sign the paperwork to recognize you as your son's father and thus giving you legal rights?


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## CJ2 (Oct 4, 2011)

I have shared legal rights which means I just have to listen to her opinion , but final say is mine anyway.


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## CJ2 (Oct 4, 2011)

I have done much research since she left and found an enlightening diagnosis for her mental issues. It is called Narcissism and it is a highly powerful mental disorder. Narcissists can only survive on being desired and must have a fallback plan at all times. They suck you in with loving words and know just the right things to say to get you back after they leave. They are the most powerful manipulators in the world. They can most be related to Vampires. They feed off of your love and when they drain it all , then they get bored and go to the next victim. After they do the same to them , then they will come back and get whatever you have built up since they left. They call this " Feeding them their narcissistic supply ". They have to have this supply of games and torment to survive and if they can't find it they will wash the pain out with drugs ! They have such a trance on you that doctors say it is almost impossible to get out of without being very knowledgeable of what you are up against. This is why the OG can't stop letting her back in also , because he is in a trance too already. So it has been very empowering to find this info out and learn how to control this evil being. Problem is like you said , I have to have my son around her and she will corrupt his mind eventually by taking him around these guys. Narcissists have no conscience and cannot empathize with others feelings. I can honestly say that I am finally done , now that I know what I'm up against and also know that she can never change. Even therapists don't know how to fix a Narcissist , since they can't take blame or listen to reason !


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

Very well done for reaching the point you have, for getting where you are. There is nothing you can do about her, it is absolutely impossible for you to change her in anyway whatsoever.

Read up about personal boundaries, it will really help you and it will help you to help your child. Personally I think you are doing really well in the face of what you’ve had to manage.


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## CJ2 (Oct 4, 2011)

AFEH said:


> Very well done for reaching the point you have, for getting where you are. There is nothing you can do about her, it is absolutely impossible for you to change her in anyway whatsoever.
> 
> Read up about personal boundaries, it will really help you and it will help you to help your child. Personally I think you are doing really well in the face of what you’ve had to manage.


Well she has only been gone 4 days now and I don't expect her to want to come back for at least another 2-3 weeks. But when she does I have a little plan for her. I am gonna tell her to pack her stuff up in front of this other guy for the 4th time and tell him its over while on the phone with me . After she does I am just gonna hang up the phone and then she can sit there and rot with him knowing how she really feels. My ex is here right now visiting with our son for 4 hrs and I haven't said a word to her or even looked at her. I have kept myself in my bedroom where I am safe from feeding her supply. This is the first encounter I have had since she left 4 days ago and it is very tough but we must stand firm !


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## needadvice_narcissist (Jan 17, 2012)

Ya standing firm is the most difficult part. Don't give up on it though. Atleast for the sake of your son. I know how hard it is to push them way. You are doing well. avoidin to see is a good idea. Else she wil plant another of her tricks in your mind.


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## CJ2 (Oct 4, 2011)

Well she just left my house and I didn't say 3 words to her. She still pranced around like the happiest person in the world which turns my stomach. I told her she could take my son to church on Sunday and that wasn't enough , she still wants my schedule so she can come watch him while I am working. I really don't trust her in my house and definitely don't trust her out of my house with him. Very tough situation ! Although I am done with her in my heart , my mind keeps playing the thought game . Thoughts keep rolling about how her and her BF get along and the intimacy they share. I know they sit and laugh at me behind my back because they have done it to my face. All she did was yawn all day which got me thinking that they were up all night together. These are the thoughts that just run me down emotionally. What kills me even more is that my son adores her and keeps asking me to get her back. It will be a rough night I'm sure.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

CJ2 said:


> Well she just left my house and I didn't say 3 words to her. She still pranced around like the happiest person in the world which turns my stomach. I told her she could take my son to church on Sunday and that wasn't enough , she still wants my schedule so she can come watch him while I am working. I really don't trust her in my house and definitely don't trust her out of my house with him. Very tough situation ! Although I am done with her in my heart , my mind keeps playing the thought game . Thoughts keep rolling about how her and her BF get along and the intimacy they share. I know they sit and laugh at me behind my back because they have done it to my face. All she did was yawn all day which got me thinking that they were up all night together. These are the thoughts that just run me down emotionally. What kills me even more is that my son adores her and keeps asking me to get her back. It will be a rough night I'm sure.


Think of those thoughts this way. HE has to deal with her NPD not you, HE has to lay next to her not you, HE gets the luxury of her crazy and you have a choice to either be in her crazy or not (like you did when she came to visit). You don't have to deal with the day to day craziness and drama she feeds off of and you don't have to enable her or let her feed off of you...he has no choice because he lives with her on a day to day basis and you don't. That is the ultimate definition of getting even by living well!! Focus on your boy, don't say one word to her unless it's about your boy or the court dates. She obviously wants nothing to do with custody if she gave up her right to be at the court date - doesn't that say a lot?


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## CJ2 (Oct 4, 2011)

CantePe said:


> Think of those thoughts this way. HE has to deal with her NPD not you, HE has to lay next to her not you, HE gets the luxury of her crazy and you have a choice to either be in her crazy or not (like you did when she came to visit). You don't have to deal with the day to day craziness and drama she feeds off of and you don't have to enable her or let her feed off of you...he has no choice because he lives with her on a day to day basis and you don't. That is the ultimate definition of getting even by living well!! Focus on your boy, don't say one word to her unless it's about your boy or the court dates. She obviously wants nothing to do with custody if she gave up her right to be at the court date - doesn't that say a lot?


Yes , it says that her NPD will not let her listen to all the bad things she has done in court ! Narcs cannot stand to listen to their wrong doings. I can see that it will be an issue with her when I don't let her see him only twice per week. She will start using him against me and start bringing him around this new guy just to get back at me. More and more she will push the limits of visitation. Right now it is set at my discretion , but she will get sick of that soon enough when she is feeling like she is entitled to more. Narcs always think they deserve more and do nothing for it. I should be thankful I have him at all since very few men in South Carolina get physical custody of their kids and I get to claim him on taxes and don't have to give her child support , so she can spend it on herself ! I just hope the judge agrees with our terms.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Why havent you turned her and her suppliers into the cops?

Or do you operate in a world where you never snitch on the scum that lives around you?


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## CJ2 (Oct 4, 2011)

Shaggy said:


> Why havent you turned her and her suppliers into the cops?
> 
> Or do you operate in a world where you never snitch on the scum that lives around you?


She just got out of rehab and has been clean for 2 months and honestly I don't think she will do any drugs again or at least for a long time. As of March when my custody is final , she has to take a hair follicle test which will show if she has been clean for 3 months. If she is clean then she can have unsupervised visitation which means she will start taking my son around this other guy but still can't keep him overnight . I also have the right to have her take a urine test if I think she has been doing drugs. If she pushes my buttons I will get her for child support. Visitation is also at my discretion !


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

CJ2 said:


> She just got out of rehab and has been clean for 2 months and honestly I don't think she will do any drugs again or at least for a long time. As of March when my custody is final , she has to take a hair follicle test which will show if she has been clean for 3 months. If she is clean then she can have unsupervised visitation which means she will start taking my son around this other guy but still can't keep him overnight . I also have the right to have her take a urine test if I think she has been doing drugs. If she pushes my buttons I will get her for child support. Visitation is also at my discretion !


How would she pay child support? 

You have a very serious co-dependent relationship with her.
Look, you sound like a good guy. Heck you sound like a saint, but you also sound like a push over.


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## CJ2 (Oct 4, 2011)

Shaggy said:


> How would she pay child support?
> 
> You have a very serious co-dependent relationship with her.
> Look, you sound like a good guy. Heck you sound like a saint, but you also sound like a push over.


First you must understand the power a Narcissist have over their prey. It is like no other. Over years or even weeks they can program your mind to do nothing but focus on them. They are such very powerful manipulators that professional therapists can't even fix them. This OG can't let go of her either , even after she left him 5 times already and cheated on him , he still takes her back. As far as child support , I will wait for the right time to make that move and get her when it hurts. She thinks that this child is free and that she is entitled to come and go as she pleases while I pay all the expenses and time. I will let her have her comfort zone for now. She is most self destructive when she gets comfortable ! If you knew me I would be the last one in the group you would call a push-over . Thats where my anger and resentment comes from , is that I myself can't believe I have tolerated and conformed to this kind of treatment. But again you can't imagine how these " Vultures of Supply " work. They circle from a distance until you are in the road suffering and then they come in for the kill. They peck at you with sweet words and tongues of healing. When you think they are gonna help you up they peck your eyes out and let the next car hit you. Then they eat you slowly !


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## sirdano (Dec 30, 2011)

Wow just wow on what I have read.

First you had all this time and not tested kid yet? If it troubles you that she comes over to your house all happy and making a sceen why not meet somewhere else??? 

Like McDonolds?

I would never give her the ability to help herself to come in your house when ever. I assume you do this becuase you say you lock you room. If you are having trouble telling her NO which it looks like from the many times you let her back have someone else there with you when she comes over. Mom, Dad brother sister hell even neighbor?


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## CJ2 (Oct 4, 2011)

sirdano said:


> Wow just wow on what I have read.
> 
> First you had all this time and not tested kid yet? If it troubles you that she comes over to your house all happy and making a sceen why not meet somewhere else???
> 
> ...


Like I said before , the custody is not final until March 5th and I am trying to keep her comfortable till then so she doesn't turn around and want a court battle. That would cost me upwards of $30,000 and there really is no guarantee that I would win. This way I know I win and she will never be able to overturn the decision once its a court order. She would have to prove me an unfit father with unfit living conditions. But once the hammer is slammed on March 5th , then we play by my rules which is in the paperwork ! She doesn't feel like she has to watch him while people are hovering over her and she definitely can't face my mother. My mother can't even look at her. So I figure as long as my kid is here then he is safe. In all reality she still has full custody until March 5th and if she wants to pursue the issue then I would be keeping her child from her and that wouldn't look good for me. So I will try to keep the beast soothed until then. And the kid is definitely mine, he is my twin, but I have done a paternity test and waiting for the results. We were on a 20 mile island when he was conceived , so her options then were limited.


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