# Can't get over it.



## deadstar77 (May 19, 2011)

Hello,
I have been married to my husband for a little over two years already and don't know if I've got another year in me. Here's the story, about a month after we got married I was using the internet on his phone and he got a text from his best friend, I read it, replied that my husband was sleeping, and then i saw some other threads of texts messages from girls I didn't know. Some were of him saying "come see me at work" "you're so beautiful" "when can I see you again". I was furious and confronted him the next morning and he said it was nothing and all that. So I made him change his number and we said we'd leave all of that behind us. It never stopped, every month or few months I would find new things on his computer (couldn't use his phone anymore cause he put a password) mostly on his social network profile where he was calling girls beautiful. And Monday I found emails from him replying/posting ads on craigslist while we were dating and engaged. Well about halfway through our marriage we stopped having sex and he said it was because of the fact that he had gained weight (he now weighs more than 300lbs), I didn't complain just figured he'd start getting healthy and things would be back to normal. They never did, we haven't had sex in almost two years and all he does now is watch porn in the morning (I never see him doing it but I know he's downloaded it) and it's always "BBW's" the tall, curvy, big breasted, big bottom kinds. Now I am short, small frame, and have average breasts and I get confused because I don't know if that's what he REALLY wants or if it's just something he fantasizes about. Well anyway, all of this has recently started to bother me and bring me down. I don't even bring it up anymore because he said he doesn't have time to talk about "stupid ****" I don't know if he ever cheated or just said those things to other girls just to make himself feel better because he's insecure about his weight. He's always come home on time, never leaves anywhere, and usually always wants me to go with him whenever he does leave. I don't know what to do anymore, we've been involved with each other since I was 16 I'm now 24, I've dealt with a lot from him even then. Years of forgiving, forgetting, and taking the blame. I know to some of you I might sound like a stupid woman, but I really loved him, now I don't know how I feel or what to do. I just want to be happy because these days I'm pretty sad. I'm sorry this was long. Thank you


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## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

Two words: Marriage Counseling.

This is no way to live; you're entitled to better no matter what the solution.


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## cb45 (Oct 2, 2009)

I cant believe it/this but i think i may be speechless, on this one folks.

incredible isnt it?:rofl:

u see, i have 2many ambiguous things to say that they sorta
negate/block/contradict one another out.

77 almost reads like a pretzel-like farce too twisted (somewhat)
to be true. maybe this too is responsible for my "mute" status,
dunno :scratchhead:

i hope someone like michzz or afeh or TP can help ya here with 
something original or tailor made for ya 77. but if not, pls just
research the this site better/more cuz u have some similarities
going on here with other folks threads/posts and advice.

shalom...........yeladeem.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Leave him.
He has shown you ove rand over again he's not committed to your marriage. He prefers getting his ego stroked by multiple women online and via text than with you. And he hasn't slept with you in two years. That is insanity. You are 24 and married. He should be wanting to sleep with you every day.
There is a seriously bad pattern of behavior here. 
So you eitehr have to tolerate this is the way he is and it's very unlikely he would ever change (cause he'll do that only if HE wants to) or remove yourself from this sham of a marriage...


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

Get the eff out. Now.

You have your entire adult life in front of you. You seem to be in good physical shape and are married to a slob over 300 lbs. He has repeated this behavior time and time again and sounds like the biggest loser ever. Sounds like you have no kids.

Get out and save your life for someone better while you are still so young.

This is a no brainer.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

I think you need to move on. he was cheating on you before you even married, and now he's got a porn addiction.

He is messed up and you deserve better.

Someone out there will really love and desire you the way you deserve. Don't be miserable.


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## The 13th_Floor (Mar 7, 2011)

She doesn't WANT to leave. She wants to fix her marriage! What's all this leave and get out now ****? If that's all she had to do to be happy she'd have probably done it already. 
OP, threaten to leave or even separate and watch him crawl back like a scared puppy. Sounds to me like he needs some tough love to get the point across.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

The 13th_Floor said:


> OP, threaten to leave or even separate and watch him crawl back like a scared puppy.


Or not. He could very well show her he's not really into the marriage at all, the way he's clearly demonstrated the entire duration of their relationship.


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## The 13th_Floor (Mar 7, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Or not. He could very well show her he's not really into the marriage at all, the way he's clearly demonstrated the entire duration of their relationship.


Either way, she'd have her answer and be able to move on...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

13th--Yeah honestly that is the only way...she needs to tell him she won't put up with this BS anymore and if he can't curb his actions & commit fully to the marriage, she should walk.


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