# Any Other Woman Experience This?



## Lily85 (Jan 13, 2013)

I'm 27 years old and have been married to my husband for 6 years. We have a generally healthy sex life, but lately I've been going through this phase and wondering if it's just me or normal.

I'm tired of having an orgasm through outside stimulation (clitoral), whether it be through a toy or my husband. I know it seems weird, but I feel it just doesn't do anything for me anymore. I've been wanting to climax through sex (which I have several times before with previous partners- and no, I have not told him this). We've been trying various positions that seem to work, but my husband (love him to death) doesn't last very long. I could be very turned on and aroused and every time I feel like I'm getting there, he's done.

Now, I'm not showing him any frustration or pressuring him to get me off this way because I understand it's not a common thing- and pressure will only make things worse for him and make him feel terrible. But no matter how turned on I am, when he tries to stimulate me through my clitoris, it takes me awhile because I'm just tired of getting off that way (whether his hands, oral sex, or a toy) and I'm just not feeling it. I'm craving more- I've been able to orgasm through sex and there is a noticeable difference and it's what I want. We are having fun experimenting, but I am left frustrated in the end.

Is this just a normal phase? I understand there are methods to help him last longer (like getting the first load out earlier in the day or using numbing creams), but we still haven't had luck. And like I said, I've only mentioned casually I'd like to experiment and see if I can get off through sex because I don't want him to feel pressured. 

I'm starting to think it's more than just sex I want- I want that special bond and connection and not just "getting off". Maybe that's why I'm tired of getting off the same way every time? There are times when I'm okay with not having an orgasm at all- just having sex is good enough for me- but now I'm wanting to take it further and experience climax through sex with him.

Any advice or suggestions? Or am I just being selfish and need to deal with it?


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

Obviously need to work on the lasting power piece!! My wife it's almost impossible to have a O without external stimulation. The only possible way is her on top grinding, but now female problems have made that a hit or miss position at best.

Good luck!!


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## IsGirl3 (Nov 13, 2012)

I started a post here: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/65083-what-do-women-feel-during-piv-sex-no-orgasm.html. Look for the responses towards page 5 or 6 by MrAvg. He gives advice about PE.

I've never had a vaginal orgasm and would love to experience this but there's no way when the guy comes in minutes. We both need to address this PE problem. Since clitoral orgasms are the only kind of O I've experienced, I think it's great.


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## goodwife4 (Jan 7, 2013)

it takes time and you do need to tell hubby about it cause he will keep finishing quickly and you will feel unsatisfied ?

my hubby is good at lasting long time when things were good between us... also more often you do it they will last longer... eg if you only do it 1 x month then he prob wont last long .... 2 times a week he should be able to control himself

good luck


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## happysnappy (Jan 8, 2013)

What about both types of stimulation at the same time? I have never been able to climax without outside stimulation


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Lily, 
Find a diplomatic way to tell him:

I really love the intense closeness of intercourse. Can we practice playing around with the pace so we can do it longer? 

If you can get him to make this a priority then the next steps are:
- pacing
- time elapsed since his most recent O
- if needed, better living thru chemistry

As for the time elapsed, for most men, if they had an O an hour or two before, they will easily last much longer than if they haven't had one in a day or a few days. 

As for the chemistry options there are two routes, stuff that will delay his O, and stuff that will reduce his recovery time.


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## StargateFan (Nov 19, 2012)

Bungee sex swing worked for us.


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## lovemylife (Feb 13, 2012)

Since you have no issues with clit stimulation, how about adding that to your experience with PiV. You could use something like this The BangO Vibrating Pleasure - Assorted Colors - BNG110E - A Place For Passion to help. It may help him to last a while longer as well as give you extra stimulation. (please note these rings should taken off after 15-20 minutes)

One of my favorites is this wand. Harmony Slim G Vibrator 7-inch - White - DJ0915-04 - A Place For Passion It is slim and smooth so it is easy to place between you while having s*x and the angle is great for stimulating the clit or the labia or both so you are able to enjoy O more quickly. (I like this better than the ring above because I can move it where it feels the best and keep constant contact, although both are good)


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## rabbit75 (Jan 7, 2013)

As a more temporary but immediate solution, what if he gets you close to an orgasm orally and with finger(s) inside before starting intercourse?


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## Lily85 (Jan 13, 2013)

Thank you all for your responses and advice. I have casually brought up to him how much I love having sex with him, then suggested a bunch of different positions we try out- he liked that. 

I have been able to climax through outside stimulation at the same time- whether it be a vibrator, my hands or his hands. I had been mostly curious as to why I had become bored of just outside stimulation and was wondering if any other woman was in the same boat.

I believe he caught on to my subtle clues though- the other night while we tried out the various positions, he lasted quite some time when we found one that worked for me and I was able to get off (I had a small vibrator between my legs so it helped). Some of the positions even hurt a little because of his size, but we'll keep experimenting. 

I'll definitely check out some of those toys and the bungee sex swing. We're both adventurous when it comes to sex, so I'll try whatever works. Maybe that's why I've become bored of certain stimulation? I'm always craving more things to try.

I also masturbate on the side- sometimes daily. Do you believe that may have a factor? I noticed the more sexually active I am, the higher my libido and sex drive is. As yes, he's aware I pleasure myself- he does it too and we're both perfectly fine with it.


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## Rottdad42 (Nov 26, 2012)

If I may chime in. I take great direction, easily coaxed, coachedand a fast learner, most times  I would always ask my honey "is that okay" or "slower, faster etc. Good communication in the joy joy room is always a good thing. Plus it's a turn on to hear her talk out of breath and saying "please" don't stop. Regarding that "PE" problem, myself I have never had that problem (knock on wood)  but I know If I get too exited I might. I slow down, slow the breathing, take the thought off of what I'm doing, for a couple of seconds. Like kissing, or rubbing. That works for me, every time.

I have conditioned myself for that, because I think of her and want her to tap out, just when I'm about to. That leads to caring about the other person in the bed. My response to m-bation If he cranks to fast on the throttle, he is conditioning himself to do that with you. Slow and steady, will always win the race, for both. This all is IMHO. Good luck and have fun, I do


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## Lily85 (Jan 13, 2013)

Rottdad42 said:


> If I may chime in. I take great direction, easily coaxed, coachedand a fast learner, most times  I would always ask my honey "is that okay" or "slower, faster etc. Good communication in the joy joy room is always a good thing. Plus it's a turn on to hear her talk out of breath and saying "please" don't stop. Regarding that "PE" problem, myself I have never had that problem (knock on wood)  but I know If I get too exited I might. I slow down, slow the breathing, take the thought off of what I'm doing, for a couple of seconds. Like kissing, or rubbing. That works for me, every time.
> 
> I have conditioned myself for that, because I think of her and want her to tap out, just when I'm about to. That leads to caring about the other person in the bed. My response to m-bation If he cranks to fast on the throttle, he is conditioning himself to do that with you. Slow and steady, will always win the race, for both. This all is IMHO. Good luck and have fun, I do


Thanks for the tips!


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