# Serious Advice Needed B4 Getting Married



## clintong (Oct 16, 2011)

I have been with the same woman for 4 years now. We have had our ups and downs as all couples do.We are supposed to get married in about a year now. I have cheated on her once about 2 1/2 years ago. I have openly talked with her about it and I do truly feel bad about it. I learned who I love and who I want to spend the rest of my life with. That person is my fiance. There is nothing anyone could ever do to make me cheat again as I am thankful for what I have and want to keep it forever. Every since I did cheat she has changed. She no longer shows the emotion she showed prior to that and now treats me like a 2nd class citizen some times. At least once a week she throws my past in my face. I know I have done wrong. I will never do it again. I do not even have the desire to do any such thing again. I told her 2 1/2 years ago that what I did was wrong and she should leave me. She fought to keep me with her. I try every day to let her know how much I love her, how lucky I am to have her and how much it would hurt to ever lose her. I have a couple of questions. 1... Should I put off the wedding until She can learn to forgive the past, If she ever can? 2... How long should I live in the shadow of a mistake I made years ago. I do know she loves me. I love her too. What else can I do to help show her how sorry I am and help to let the past go? I know the past is there and I do not expect her to forget it but I would like her to forgive if there is a way. I want back what we had with the one woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Is this able to happen and if so could someone give me some advice. I am 35 years old and never agreed or wanted to marry anyone. This one has me but I need to find a way to get us over this hump. Brutal replies are ok as long as they are honest. I know she should have left me then so that is not the help I need. I am looking for advice on what to do from where I am now. Thanks in advance.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

As a woman, I can say it's hard to forgive a 'mistake' like that. It's not like tripping and falling on your face, it was a decision you made and fully aware of possible consequences.

She and you need to enter into pre-marital counseling/therapy. It's best to get this resolved before you get married. It may get worse over time if you don't.

Expecting her to be the same person she was, when she trusted you, and before you betrayed her, might not ever happen.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Yea, I'd never forget. She's "poisoned" now. She won't admit it, but she's suspicious of everything you say too.


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