# What evil, evil thing did you do that drove them to cheat?



## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

What evil, evil thing did you do that drove them to cheat besides the standard "not giving them enough attention" excuse?

Apparently one of mine was that I yelled at our oldest son a couple of times. One time I yelled at him for wrecking my car and another was when I got upset at him because I found out he sent a text message to a friend about buying a blunt. So she confided in OM about how a mean father I was. She wasn't used to that because her father was a pu$$y who never raised his voice toward his kids.


----------



## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

I devoted 21 years trying to make her life as comfortable, love filled and happy as I could. I never cheated on her or had the desire to cheat. 

I wrapped my life around her, listened to her and did my best to stay connected. I think I went above and beyond.

Still wasn't enough.


----------



## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

I went to the gym.
I had a job.
I took the train and bus to Boston and men sometimes sat next to me (women too, so maybe I was bi!)
Sometimes when he called home days I worked from home I was at the grocery store, presumably I was with my boyfriend. In that case, all we did was buy the groceries and then he sat around and did the work I did that day with the time stamps on the files and my emails to my clients. I guess I'm extremely versatile having sex on treadmills in front of people, screwing on the train with both men and women, humping in aise 6 and doing complicated statistics whilst giving blow jobs.
God I'm a talented b*tch.


----------



## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

His two main things were, I wasn't giving in to him enough and then I "set him up" to cheat.

I'm not sure how you set someone up to cheat? I wonder what his excuses with his current wife are? I really wasn't giving him sex, because I knew he was cheating and I was grossed out by it, I was grossed out by him, he's disgusting.

I did learn from my mistakes and the last 12-13 years have been wonderful with my current husband.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## mikeydread1982 (Oct 7, 2011)

All I did was send her money from overseas. Call her daily whether by phone cards or hacked phones, buy her tickets to come see me, or fly to go see her, get along great with her and her family, and loved her as the first true love of my life.


----------



## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

Me? I was the results of an failed abortion from back in the day when it was done on the sly. I don't know what caused her to cheat on the next guy but do know that she thought cheating on him wasn't the same as cheating on me in spite of her doing it on my dime.


----------



## Rmommy22 (Jan 17, 2012)

Let's see. I changed everything about me for him. Did everything he asked. Cared for the house, the kids, cooked the meals, ran the errands. Let him go out with his friends and did not bug him. 
I guess I was just too complacent and it was too much for him...


----------



## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

lordmayhem said:


> What evil, evil thing did you do that drove them to cheat besides the standard "not giving them enough attention" excuse?
> 
> Apparently one of mine was that I yelled at our oldest son a couple of times. One time I yelled at him for wrecking my car and another was when I got upset at him because I found out he sent a text message to a friend about buying a blunt. So she confided in OM about how a mean father I was. She wasn't used to that because her father was a pu$$y who never raised his voice toward his kids.


I think that they cheat because thay are selfish insecure people.


----------



## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

One excuse was that when I came back from Iraq the first night in the hotel I could not get an erection. She said, (right after D-day)that she felt that I had no passion for her and found her undesireable when I came back from Iraq. Yea, right. When we got to the hotel I was so ready but things did not work. I was in so much pain down there that I ended up in the E.R. and the doctor prescribed Viagra. Things worked fine, so fine that my WS told me I had to stop because she was getting sore. We had passionate sex for hours. So her excuse was I had E.D. when I just got back from combat and my response back, is O.K., I did, but within two hours it was fixed.

We were talking years ago and I asked her is there anything you need in life. We were having a nice conversation and our marriage was fine during this time. She told me that all she needs in life is something to look forward to in life, like a ballgame (she loves baseball, trips, etc). Something to look forward to in the near future. I gave her that. In 2011 when she had her EA/PA we went to many ballgames, a trip to Hilton Head Island, a trip to Ft. Lauderdale (which she said was very passionate) and then Disney. 

Other then the initial blameshifting around D-day my wife keeps telling me that I did nothing to cause this. We have had numerous conversations since D-day and she will come up with reasons why she did it but she keeps saying that I did not cause her to do this.

I have searched myself and cannot find a reason in me. 

In my wife's case she is the one who has a deficit. She is the "evil" one.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I gained weight (yet OM was just as heavy as me)


----------



## mikeydread1982 (Oct 7, 2011)

chillymorn said:


> I think that they cheat because thay are selfish insecure people.


This is true, when I cheated thinking it would helpp me get back at her for not trying to talk about it and help me get over it, basically saying quit being a ***** about it. I realized after the fact that I only put my integrity in question, I was insecure for the things she said and her not giving a reason for doing what she did, and it was selfish because it was all about me and how I was feeling.


----------



## Beowulf (Dec 7, 2011)

I have to be careful what I say because although she's never posted my wife has an account here and lurks every day.

Oh the he!! with it. :ezpi_wink1:

My wife cheated because she was selfish. She admits this to be the truth. The problems I contributed to the marital discord however were that I worked too much and was too logical and apparently emotionally indifferent. The fact that I was the same during our courtship still baffles me to this day but no matter. We worked on ourselves and each other.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

He said it's because I wasn't there and she was. (I was at home). And also, she "touched" him, it was a joke/funny/didn't mean anything.


----------



## mikeydread1982 (Oct 7, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> He said it's because I wasn't there and she was. (I was at home). And also, she "touched" him, it was a joke/funny/didn't mean anything.


Oh, she touched him alright.


----------



## allthegoodnamesaregone (Nov 18, 2011)

I was told it was "a lot of little things", none of which she could explain. I gather she must have been talking about the OM's penis....


----------



## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

According to my ex father-in-law, it was because I adopted a dog. (That was for his 2003 affair) Then for his 2010 affair, he (my ex husband) said it was because he was no longer attracted to me for I had gained some weight. (Now mind you, the ow was a good 50 lbs heavier than me)


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

mikeydread1982 said:


> Oh, she touched him alright.


Yes, she did. I got to hear all about the blow j-b she gave him.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

allthegoodnamesaregone said:


> I was told it was "a lot of little things", none of which she could explain. I gather she must have been talking about the OM's penis....


 Good one


----------



## mikeydread1982 (Oct 7, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Yes, she did. I got to hear all about the blow j-b she gave him.


Well, at least yours told you details. according to mine, there wasn't even any intimacy, just go to his house get naked, smash, then take her home. Man, being famous has its upsides I guess, all th ebenefits, no work. 
All I need is one hit single and I can retire back home. Any good song writers here?


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Did you ask for details?


----------



## Alittlefunnnn (Jan 11, 2012)

I was secure with myself and expected her to be as well. That's what I did wrong...lol

Her biggest complaint was that I was too blunt and called people out who tried to bull**** me, her included. How that makes me bad I sill don't know.

I guess when you want to cheat you find any small reason and make it as large as possible to rationalize that crap you are brewing.


----------



## mikeydread1982 (Oct 7, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Did you ask for details?


I damn sure did, but got the trickle truth. First time it was once, about 6 years later, it was for one year. But as for why, there was no reason, and why it continued, because the deed was already done, so why stop?

But as I posted elsewhere, the thing that annoyed me was how she spoke negatively of the guy, but kept going back. 1 + 1 did not equal 2 on that one. 

When I messed around, those chicks were fine and/or intellectually compatible. And would do things that W couldn't/wouldn't do.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

mikeydread1982 said:


> I damn sure did, but got the trickle truth.


That sucks.


----------



## mikeydread1982 (Oct 7, 2011)

Alittlefunnnn said:


> I was secure with myself and expected her to be as well. That's what I did wrong...lol
> 
> Her biggest complaint was that I was too blunt and called people out who tried to bull**** me, her included. How that makes me bad I sill don't know.
> 
> I guess when you want to cheat you find any small reason and make it as large as possible to rationalize that crap you are brewing.


This is funny. I remember the first time she broke it to me, she said she wanted to prove to herself that she loved me :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
That one almost made me catch a case. I won't lie


----------



## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

mikeydread1982 said:


> Well, at least yours told you details. according to mine, there wasn't even any intimacy, just go to his house get naked, smash, then take her home. Man, being famous has its upsides I guess, all th ebenefits, no work.
> All I need is one hit single and I can retire back home. Any good song writers here?


In the 90"s I worked with Bob King who wrote "Draggin the Line" with Tommy James. Bob was a great songwriter, producer and bass player and a fun guy to be around. When I knew him he was a down on his luck type of guy who still had hopes of getting back into the music world. I have been in contact with his family over the years but Bob died in 2004. You would not want me writing a song I would just be stealing lyrics.

Wham bam thank you ma'am.


----------



## Alittlefunnnn (Jan 11, 2012)

mikeydread1982 said:


> This is funny. I remember the first time she broke it to me, she said she wanted to prove to herself that she loved me :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
> That one almost made me catch a case. I won't lie


Mikey, my wife said she e-mailed her ex for closure. :scratchhead: Mind you their relationship ended in a lawsuit which HE won. I think there was emotional and legal closure.


----------



## Rmommy22 (Jan 17, 2012)

Yeah my WH said he just contacted OW again to protect himself at work. Because if she sent him something back then he could hold it so she didnt expose him at work. Right.... asking a coworker for a piece of a** on a text would protect you! OK, I must be stupid to believe that one!


----------



## mikeydread1982 (Oct 7, 2011)

Thorburn said:


> In the 90"s I worked with Bob King who wrote "Draggin the Line" with Tommy James. Bob was a great songwriter, producer and bass player and a fun guy to be around. When I knew him he was a down on his luck type of guy who still had hopes of getting back into the music world. I have been in contact with his family over the years but Bob died in 2004. You would not want me writing a song I would just be stealing lyrics.
> 
> Wham bam thank you ma'am.


We can always give writer's credit on the sleeve.


----------



## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

I did such an evil thing... 

giving myself a brain tumor so it would eventually manifest itself by impairing me physically then resulting in 2 surgeries and ongoing need for physical therapy.

I guess my unlimited love, faith, support for him and his endeavors over nearly 25 years were evil too.

Oh and the lack of $$$$! Been told that the Man-Poacher has quite the bank acct.


----------



## mikeydread1982 (Oct 7, 2011)

cherokee96red said:


> I did such an evil thing...
> 
> giving myself a brain tumor so it would eventually manifest itself by impairing me physically then resulting in 2 surgeries and ongoing need for physical therapy.
> 
> ...


Wow, you were really evil.(Sorry to hear you went through all this by the way)
But the bolded part of what you said, I will not lie, when I was selecting the women I wanted to get my selfishness out on, that was a prerequisite. I would only go to higher end establishment, seek out the more polished, older, women. Not saying its right, but for a man, that can be a turn on too.


----------



## Confused_and_bitter (Aug 6, 2011)

My evil? Well I knew him too well, OW would laugh at his stories that I had already heard and talk about movies we already had talked about. 

I didn't like sports enough. OW is a sports nut and knew the ins and outs of football(mind you, I was making an honest effort to learn more about the sport before finding out about OW) 

I also had the nerve to have a child AND take care of her too. Which hindered in our abilities to go out because to him nobody was good enough a baby sitter except our parents and they were never available when HE wanted to go out. So that caused him to be jealous of couples that were capable of going out to bars whenever they pleased, his solution? To go out as a couple with OW.


----------



## Alittlefunnnn (Jan 11, 2012)

So that caused him to be jealous of couples that were capable of going out to bars whenever they pleased, his solution? To go out as a couple with OW.[/QUOTE]

You just can't compete with logic like this......:scratchhead:


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I was born with a penis, apparently.


----------



## Confused_and_bitter (Aug 6, 2011)

Right? I really really REALLY had to stop myself from completely going off on him when he said that. 

I just responded that I was jealous of couples having more sex than we were. He looked at me kind of wide eyed and said "but?" I said there is no buts.


----------



## mikeydread1982 (Oct 7, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> I was born with a penis, apparently.


That'll do it.


----------



## Alittlefunnnn (Jan 11, 2012)

Confused_and_bitter said:


> Right? I really really REALLY had to stop myself from completely going off on him when he said that.
> 
> I just responded that I was jealous of couples having more sex than we were. He looked at me kind of wide eyed and said "but?" I said there is no buts.


Yeah and that you were jealous that the neighbor really knows how to plow his wife. And liked doing it! 

He's such a dumb ass! lol


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> I was born with a penis, apparently.



You'll shoot her eye out!!


----------



## Alittlefunnnn (Jan 11, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> You'll shoot her eye out!!


:lol:


----------



## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

People who cheat commit one of the biggest sins in the eyes of god especially in the case of cheating in a marriage. Infidelity is no joke you will be judged by god for your wrong doing and actions. 

We all know pre marital sex is a sin however i would imagine Infidelity is a much worse sin and all that i have learned from god/church say's it is its betrayal of a marriage and a mockery along with defying many other things that can be much worse than one person having sex with one they love in a pre marital sex situation. 



Fear not your cheating "person" will be dealt with by god and judged and held accountable for their actions. The thing with most people who cheat is they are generally narcissistic people and they are always corrupted and filled with the devil's poison.


----------



## Dexter Morgan (Dec 8, 2011)

lordmayhem said:


> What evil, evil thing did you do that drove them to cheat besides the standard "not giving them enough attention" excuse?


Thats all it is. And excuse.

Some cheaters would use something as stupid as not replacing the toilet paper roll as an excuse to confide in someone else, just so they can get their exciting thrill.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Goldmember357 said:


> We all know pre marital sex is a sin



we do?


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

To be fair and in the name of transparency I am sure my misses has never cheated. That would involve other people and who the hell wants that?


----------



## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

Almostrecovered said:


> we do?


oh man im in serious trouble


----------



## Alittlefunnnn (Jan 11, 2012)

okeydokie said:


> oh man im in serious trouble


I second that!:smthumbup:


----------



## Snowflake (Feb 19, 2012)

Well he said I did not listen to him ,and acted like a child .
Never mind I kept the house clean ,clothes cleaned ,all bills and any other such matters I had to handle taken care of he never had to do anything with such things .Maybe that made me dominate I don't want to be dominate but things have to be done in a time frame and if its just left will never get done .


----------



## Beowulf (Dec 7, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> I was born with a penis, apparently.


You too? You'd think they'd come up with a remedy for that birth defect since it seems to be so common.


----------



## 67flh (Sep 26, 2011)

i guess working 2 jobs, 14 hours a day made me a bad man.


----------



## Dexter Morgan (Dec 8, 2011)

I must admit, the evil thing I did to drive my x-wife to cheat was watch our children so she could have some time with her friends and enjoy doing something other than being a mother.

What was I thinking for being so evil and trusting her?:scratchhead:


----------



## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

It was either that I was me, or that I wasn't him.

Haven't figured that out .


----------



## jenis (Feb 9, 2011)

I debated whether or not to post this, it's unusual circumstances, and to be fair I was the major factor. Without going too much into the backstory, I have narcissistic tendencies and developed a sexual addiction which started about 10 years ago. It developed to a point where I neglected my husband needs while demanding that my own needs be met. No this addiction never led to an affair on my part.

I'm leaving a lot out here. We fought, he pleaded, and I remained in denial as things grew worse. I am truly ashamed of some of the things I said to him. Of course it became an incredible source of resentment for him, and eventually it broke my husband emotionally. He went to counseling alone, was later diagnosed with depression, and went on meds. He remained very unhappy, unfulfilled and as time went on he reached out and was met by a woman who responded.

I'm not making excuses for him, it was wrong. But the short term EA/PA was pivotal point that brought me to see my own faults and get the help I needed. Which then allowed us to restore our marriage. We are in a much better place now.


----------



## bmichael (Jan 8, 2012)

I raised our kids for over five years while she went to school and then had the nerve to complain about it.


----------



## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

> I raised our kids for over five years while she went to school and then had the nerve to complain about it.


Oh, and because you don't cheat like her....


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I never kissed her, treated her like a prostitute, and didn't want to be a husband. 

Got away with it for 19 years. I guess the OM's picked up the slack..Thank you OM's....all twenty of you.


----------



## Badsmit (Dec 29, 2011)

To keep it quick. She decided to have an EA or as she put it “I just let my heart break” when I did not buy her a GMC Acadia. I knew they were talking and she was having an EA so I bought myself a Mercedes Benz. I felt like a jerk (and transmission on the other vehicle was going bad) so I bought her a 2011 Honda accord. She found a way to complain about that….. :rofl::rofl:


----------



## Falene (Dec 31, 2011)

What did I do wrong? Married him.


----------



## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)

Still waiting for a reason.


----------



## always_hopefull (Aug 11, 2011)

I gave him four children. We already had two sons and I became pregnant with twins, we didn't know they were twins at the time. He wanted me to terminate the pregnancy. I couldn't, my Dr. called him and told him she was scared for my mental health if I went ahead with the termination. He was never the same after the twins, he was an ass before but got even more selfish and hurtfull after they were born. To this day he mentions "how much more work four kids are". This is in addition to the fact I don't watch him play his sports, I'm no fun because I wouldn't go out with him and his friends, mostly because he would just leave me alone at a table while he chatted with his friends. 

I think to sum it up I would have to say I was a mother and not his plaything anymore.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Jonesey (Jul 11, 2011)

mikeydread1982 said:


> All I did was send her money from overseas. Call her daily whether by phone cards or hacked phones, buy her tickets to come see me, or fly to go see her, get along great with her and her family, and loved her as the first true love of my life.



HOW dare you being so RUDE


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

67flh said:


> i guess working 2 jobs, 14 hours a day made me a bad man.


 My hubs works his ass off for our family 12 hours a day, 5 days a week...I'd never cheat.  I'm sorry.


----------



## Jonesey (Jul 11, 2011)

Alittlefunnnn said:


> I second that!:smthumbup:


:lol::smthumbup:


----------



## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

jenis said:


> I debated whether or not to post this, it's unusual circumstances, and to be fair I was the major factor. Without going too much into the backstory, I have narcissistic tendencies and developed a sexual addiction which started about 10 years ago. It developed to a point where I neglected my husband needs while demanding that my own needs be met. No this addiction never led to an affair on my part.
> 
> I'm leaving a lot out here. We fought, he pleaded, and I remained in denial as things grew worse. I am truly ashamed of some of the things I said to him. Of course it became an incredible source of resentment for him, and eventually it broke my husband emotionally. He went to counseling alone, was later diagnosed with depression, and went on meds. He remained very unhappy, unfulfilled and as time went on he reached out and was met by a woman who responded.
> 
> I'm not making excuses for him, it was wrong. But the short term EA/PA was pivotal point that brought me to see my own faults and get the help I needed. Which then allowed us to restore our marriage. We are in a much better place now.


Well done for posting this. And for sure we can have an epiphany moment which drags us out of our unaware slumber and gives us great insight to our own behaviour and the affect it has on others.


But your H had choices in how to respond to your dysfunctional behaviour.


And that at the end of the day is what it’s all about. The choices we make in our lives.


What really screws a BS up is when their partner took the choice to cheat but then lies, deceives, blame shifts etc. etc. If they just owned up to it once caught there’d be much less heartache and things would be so very much easier for all concerned.


----------



## BrokenMan (Nov 26, 2011)

According to my WW, she no longer felt like part of the family. She claimed that I had made it appear that she was no longer needed.

In reality it was that I enjoyed spending time as a family. I loved taking the kids to the park, playing board games, baking etc. I work such long hours in a high pressure environment, time with the kids was and is a great release for me.

And she hated it!

I asked her if screwing her OM made her feel like part of the family? Did it bring her closer to the kids? Funnily enough she didn't answer that.


----------



## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

BrokenMan said:


> According to my WW, she no longer felt like part of the family. She claimed that I had made it appear that she was no longer needed.
> 
> In reality it was that I enjoyed spending time as a family. I loved taking the kids to the park, playing board games, baking etc. I work such long hours in a high pressure environment, time with the kids was and is a great release for me.
> 
> ...


So she was upset at you for being a great Dad? That's sad.


----------



## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

Believed in the power of her love after splitting with my first wife, taking the leap and marrying her. I worked 80-90 or more hours a week earning a living so she didn't ever have to work outside the home nor "do without" (vs. the OM who complained & confided to her how they had 'borrowed' nearly $20K from parents to pay taxes & debts...). Often on the road, and didn't find the time to reach out and call throughout the day (while OM was a self employed at-home worker who had time to come share music and lunches and time with her, although she was 'so busy' rasing our child). Wrote her poems of appreciation for being a single mother for most weekdays, constantly told her how beautiful she was despite her own self-image/weight issues (but she needed her ego fed even more). Sent her and her best friend for a long weekend away for her 40th birthday, all expenses paid (where she began her first crossing the line exposure to EA). Trusted her and allowed her to remain friends with the man in a couple we were friends with despite my recognition that if she gave him the opportunity, he would take it (he eventually became the OM) because I believed she would never do such a thing to me and certainly not to our son. Mentioned 100's of times the one single thing I would not support her in would be having an affair.

Basically I believed in her and in us. G*ddammit.


----------



## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

2xloser said:


> Believed in the power of her love after splitting with my first wife, taking the leap and marrying her. I worked 80-90 or more hours a week earning a living so she didn't ever have to work outside the home nor "do without" (vs. the OM who complained & confided to her how they had 'borrowed' nearly $20K from parents to pay taxes & debts...). Often on the road, and didn't find the time to reach out and call throughout the day (while OM was a self employed at-home worker who had time to come share music and lunches and time with her, although she was 'so busy' rasing our child). Wrote her poems of appreciation for being a single mother for most weekdays, constantly told her how beautiful she was despite her own self-image/weight issues (but she needed her ego fed even more). Sent her and her best friend for a long weekend away for her 40th birthday, all expenses paid (where she began her first crossing the line exposure to EA). Trusted her and allowed her to remain friends with the man in a couple we were friends with despite my recognition that if she gave him the opportunity, he would take it (he eventually became the OM) because I believed she would never do such a thing to me and certainly not to our son. Mentioned 100's of times the one single thing I would not support her in would be having an affair.
> 
> Basically I believed in her and in us. G*ddammit.


:iagree:

That's why we all know that we cannot compete with the OM/OW and they all seem like Prince Charming/Miss Wonderful: They don't have to deal with all the domestic/financial issues.


----------



## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

lordmayhem said:


> :iagree:
> 
> That's why we all know that we cannot compete with the OM/OW and they all seem like Prince Charming/Miss Wonderful: They don't have to deal with all the domestic/financial issues.


And now, she will get to take half anyway. Unreal.


----------



## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

2xloser said:


> And now, she will get to take half anyway. Unreal.


Better half of everything than all of her.


----------



## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

morituri said:


> Better half of everything than all of her.


Yeah, maybe... I guess I actually only had half of her anyway!


----------



## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

2xloser said:


> Yeah, maybe... I guess I actually only had half of her anyway!


Or none of her to begin with.

Chances are good that your half will continue to grow while her half will decay and eventually be gone for good. Just as hokares.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I almost forgot...I left the toilet seat up


----------



## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> I almost forgot...I left the toilet seat up


Ugh, I hate that! When we were first married, I went to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Not fun sitting on a cold porcelain rim and almost touching the water when you're half asleep! Lucky for me my husband does not do that any more.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I washed the colors with the whites once too


----------



## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

The one and only MC meeting we went to consisted of my ex telling the counselor that ten years ago, I didnt help out enough and get up in the middle of the night enough to help out with the newborn.
Despite that her mom was living with us at the time to help out, and that the baby's crib was in our bedroom right next to her side of the bed. Fact is, I got up, I DID help, she was just looking for something to say...
Ten years ago eh?? hmmm... mustve been tough..;..


----------



## bmichael (Jan 8, 2012)

Shooboomafoo said:


> The one and only MC meeting we went to consisted of my ex telling the counselor that ten years ago, I didnt help out enough and get up in the middle of the night enough to help out with the newborn.
> Despite that her mom was living with us at the time to help out, and that the baby's crib was in our bedroom right next to her side of the bed. Fact is, I got up, I DID help, she was just looking for something to say...
> Ten years ago eh?? hmmm... mustve been tough..;..


This reminds me of my wife. In her gaslighting, she has brought up every little argument we've ever gotten in to over the course of our marriage and said none of them were ever resolved.

The only thing that remains unresolved to me is the fact that she's a lying cheat who's running away from our marriage as fast as she can.


----------



## CantBeJustMe (Jan 27, 2012)

Homemaker_Numero_Uno said:


> I went to the gym.
> I had a job.
> I took the train and bus to Boston and men sometimes sat next to me (women too, so maybe I was bi!)
> Sometimes when he called home days I worked from home I was at the grocery store, presumably I was with my boyfriend. In that case, all we did was buy the groceries and then he sat around and did the work I did that day with the time stamps on the files and my emails to my clients. I guess I'm extremely versatile having sex on treadmills in front of people, screwing on the train with both men and women, humping in aise 6 and doing complicated statistics whilst giving blow jobs.
> God I'm a talented b*tch.


:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

Sorry but I needed that... you're almost as sarcastic as me.


----------



## river rat (Jan 20, 2012)

I have a job that requires me to work long, stressful hours. When I'm home, a lot of the time I'm somewhat remote while I'm trying to wind down. I know that was my contribution; but my W has never blamed me, at least not to my face. As Morituri has previously pointed out, it's about fragile egos, the need for external validation. Sometimes the BS is simply unable or unwilling to provide that validation at the time that it's needed.


----------



## sd212 (Feb 24, 2012)

All I got was her saying "I didn't mean for this to happen" You know, then some of the "I've felt alone in this marriage but I was happy at the same time so I never told you."

And of course, my favorite "We were just two people who wanted out of our marriages."

BS, I gave her the world and was a model father and husband. She has me in total despair while she does her thing. I cannot wait to get over this.


----------



## viaVA (Feb 19, 2012)

I am boring. He was unhappy and bored with our seemingly perfect life. Also, he is a selfish, selfish person.

I refuse to take blame for anything that caused his EA. I am not faultless for their being minor problems in our marriage, but I am not to blame for anything that would cause him to break our vows.


----------



## lascarx (Dec 24, 2011)

One of the first things my wife said after I caught her out was that she had been lonely.

She never said it again during the stories-and-excuses time that followed, but I think she was stunned at her own dumbness in letting herself get caught like she did and for once, couldn't tell anything but the truth.

It was hard for me to credit because in my eyes, we spent a lot of close-time together. But then I realized that it wasn't the quality of the time, it was that for her, I wasn't the right person to spend it with.

All waste-water now. She's now got plenty of time and opportunity to be as not-lonely as she likes.


----------



## ishe? (Apr 1, 2011)

I had a low sex drive while I was pregnant with and nursing his two babies! I admit this is true, sex was only fortnightly but he didn't meet his ow until 8 mo after my normally high drive came back and we were dtd 3+ times a week. Now he says he though I was cheating while my drive was low... Funny he never mentioned it until after he cheated
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## dazed/confused (Jan 18, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> I almost forgot...I left the toilet seat up


You can do that??  I had an epiphany one day and made a formal request of my wife to please put the seat UP when she was finished. I gave myself an "A" for the effort.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## movin on (Jan 24, 2012)

i worked so she could be a stay at home mom,i let her put her bff before me,i was at home with her and the kids if i wasnt working,her father is an alcoholic who lived in the bars.so i stayed out of them except if we went together,i bailed out credit cards,left her go out with friends when she wanted,would take it when she yelled at me for reasons im not sure of.treated her much better than any of the husbands of her friends treated their wives...i guess i deserved it for being depressed for a year.i dont know how she put up with me


----------



## movin on (Jan 24, 2012)

she did tell me she wasnt looking for men when she cheated...if that was true,she wouldnt have cheated.:scratchhead:


----------



## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

movin on said:


> she did tell me she wasnt looking for men when she cheated...if that was true,she wouldnt have cheated.:scratchhead:


Did you tell her that was the stupidest thing you ever heard out of her mouth?

Yukkk. Dude I still cannot believe you took her back.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## movin on (Jan 24, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> Did you tell her that was the stupidest thing you ever heard out of her mouth?
> 
> 
> 
> sad thing is..it wasnt


----------



## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Sheesh.....


----------



## SweetAndSour (Feb 25, 2012)

I was too good for her and she kind'a wanted to let me free. Having a one night stand to accomplish that shows the depth of intelligence on her part. That was the first time she cheated.

Second time; She said it wasn't about sex and she felt like I was already gave up on her.

My opinion on second time was, by looking her affair partner and her inclination to rough sex and some other clues after the affair, she was looking for a well built, well hung fella to rock her body. 

She got that but I still can't figure out why she left him and came back to me.


----------



## movin on (Jan 24, 2012)

SweetAndSour said:


> Second time; She said it wasn't about sex and she felt like I was already gave up on her.
> My opinion on second time was, by looking her affair partner and her inclination to rough sex and some other clues after the affair, she was looking for a well built, well hung fella to rock her body.
> 
> i got the same bs line and i got the same feeling about her second ?man


----------



## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

> Second time; She said it wasn't about sex and she felt like I was already gave up on her.
> My opinion on second time was, by looking her affair partner and her inclination to rough sex and some other clues after the affair, she was looking for a well built, well hung fella to rock her body.
> 
> i got the same bs line and i got the same feeling about her second ?man


Was this the brutha or Navajo Tattoo?


----------



## SweetAndSour (Feb 25, 2012)

movin on said:


> SweetAndSour said:
> 
> 
> > Second time; She said it wasn't about sex and she felt like I was already gave up on her.
> ...


----------



## movin on (Jan 24, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> Was this the brutha or Navajo Tattoo?


brutha the one she did three times or more


----------



## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

> Originally Posted by bandit.45
> Was this the brutha or Navajo Tattoo?
> 
> brutha the one she did three times or more


Its hard for us white boys to compete.


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I disagree!
I'm not competing any more, I am what I am and thats all that I am.


----------



## 1dayatatime (Feb 19, 2012)

Had PPD after the birth of our child so I wasn't there for him even though it was he that wasn't there for me.


----------



## sammy3 (Jun 5, 2011)

Mine told me I didnt do anything...

~sammy


----------



## UCanTalk (Mar 17, 2009)

Me: I was codependent, insecure, narcissistic, manipulative and passive aggressive.
My wife just internalised everything and built up resentment, she was taught to "put up and shut up"
We colluded with each other .
I almost embarked on an EA but was pulled back from the brink after 2 weeks.
In my experience these things are never that black and white.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------

