# Return of the Living Dread - STBXW won't mind her own business



## Lonelyin NC (Aug 1, 2012)

Today I got a letter from my STBXW's lawyer say I violated our seperation agreement as far as taking care of her car registration and not refinancing the house in a timely manner.

- When I last posted in here, I was back in Ct and crossed paths with her, She feels that everything I do with the house is her business when she clearly waived her rights to it back when we signed out seperation papers. Right now, refinancing is not happening because my mortgage is underwater and the house is worth less than what I owe in it. I dont have the money cover the diffrence . As far as her car registration goes, our sepration agreement clearly states that I am responsible for car payments only and everything else that has to do with the car is her responsibility. I have been keeping up my end of the bargain as keeping her car payements up to date. She had several opportunities to refinance the car in her name and has failed to do so. Shes sadly mistaken if she thinks im going to wave a magic wand and pay the car off. 

I resumed my 180 when I returned to NC and life couldent be better. Ive concentrated soley on myself and have been a better person without her. However with her now trying to push her weight around and nose into my business here, it frustrates me and brings back the bitter attitude I had when she was still living here. Apprarently she has people here spying on me and it has made me paranoid. Im going to talk to my lawyer on Mon to see what I can to about this situation. This is taking me backward in my therapy too. Everytime I feel like a get 2 steps forward, I get an email from her that takes me 5 steps back. She admitted to me the last time I saw her in person that she has not loved me the last 2 years of our marriage. With that being said, I want nothing to do with her anymore, I dont even want a friendship with her. She is a bitter and jeolous person who is controlling . Any idea of reconciliation is out the window. I wish she would just get her own life and stay out of mine


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

Hey, Lonely, I feel for you, man! I'm pretty sure my STBXH is having me followed (was out for dinner with my brother yesterday and we spotted the car...totally bizarre as we live a very boring middle-class life).

WHY do you open emails from your STBXW? Especially when you KNOW they set back your healing! Whenever you get an email from her, DELETE it UNREAD. Get a snail-mail from her? Trash it! (although shredding is better). Get a phone call, don't answer it. She leaves a message? Delete it as soon as you recognize it's her voice.

There's NOTHING she has to say to you that you need to hear.

Anything 'official' she needs to let you know, can go through your attorney. That's why you're paying him/her money. Ignore her claims about the car, they're baseless. She's trying to get a rise out of you, get some attention (even negative) from you. Don't let her have any. You're DONE with her, and the sooner she realizes that, the better!

You're in charge of YOU. Cut her off at the knees and be done. People spying on you? Let them see you living YOUR life, enjoying the peace and quiet of your life without HER spoiling it with her selfishness.


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## Lonelyin NC (Aug 1, 2012)

This is true. I have been ignoring her every chance I get. The emails I get, I save in a folder and I'll use them against her to show her hostile attitutude. When we have talked, ive kept notes on what was was said and what her attitude is on the phone. She tends to get very defensive quickly. Ironic as I write this, 11 years ago today, I married her.....Happy UnAnniversary to me.


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