# In need of some advice, if i'm too jealous or what.



## JCM0 (Feb 24, 2017)

Alright the history first, My wife and I have been married for 4 going on 5 years now with a 2 year old and another due in 3 months. She does not have many "girl friends" and has always found more friendship in men. As for me I've always been a loner only 3 or 4 people I would call fiends. Around 8 months ago I had logged into her Skype so I could call her and saw that she had been video chatting with a guy for several hours everyday. A little further exploration into Skype and I found suggestive messages from both sides dating back a year. At this point I was upset and on fronted her about it and she sounded sincere and sorry, I also asked her to stop talking to that certain male and gave her another chance due to the fact that A. I love her and B. Our kid needed both parents So fast forward to present day, I found out that she has continued to talk to him through emails with the same suggestive themes, I am at a loss for word and do not know how to confront her again on the same situation. Is this just me being over jealous or am in the right to be very upset? I'll provide more info if you need it just needed to get this off my chest somewhere


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

You need to do more than just get this off your chest. She's disrespecting you and your marriage, and probably has been lying to you this whole time.


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## Keke24 (Sep 2, 2016)

She got away with being "sorry and sincere"? OP, did it cross your mind that they were doing more than just talking during their Skype sessions? You don't share suggestive messages for a year and then get on Skype video to talk about the weather...


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

JCM0 said:


> Alright the history first, My wife and I have been married for 4 going on 5 years now with a 2 year old and another due in 3 months. She does not have many "girl friends" and has always found more friendship in men. As for me I've always been a loner only 3 or 4 people I would call fiends. Around 8 months ago I had logged into her Skype so I could call her and saw that she had been video chatting with a guy for several hours everyday. A little further exploration into Skype and I found suggestive messages from both sides dating back a year. At this point I was upset and on fronted her about it and she sounded sincere and sorry, I also asked her to stop talking to that certain male and gave her another chance due to the fact that A. I love her and B. Our kid needed both parents So fast forward to present day, I found out that she has continued to talk to him through emails with the same suggestive themes, I am at a loss for word and do not know how to confront her again on the same situation. Is this just me being over jealous or am in the right to be very upset? I'll provide more info if you need it just needed to get this off my chest somewhere


Nope not cool. Better start down the rabbit hole.


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

Unfortunately, you can't tell if they had video-sex (or cyber sex). 
But what you can do is install a recorder on your computer to monitor the activity during the time she's using the computer when you're not around. 

Does she work or is she a stay-at-home mom? 
Are you providing her with emotional/physical needs?


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

What suggested themes? Do you know who this guy is?


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Clearly she has not sopped, if not with the same guys then another person, your wife definitely has this need of validation that she seems only to find in other men...you have a potential bigger issues than just this, I suspect that her deceit might go deeper if not present future...so its not an issue of jealous it is exactly what the other here mention....you have a big problem on your hand.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

OP you need to realize things can be as bad as they seem, so many times people try to find reasons to not believe or face what's right in front of them. You caught your wife having an emotional affair, you told her to stop. So what does she do? She's goes further undercover and keeps right on going with the affair. The longer this has been going on the more likely it has evolved from an emotional to physical affair. 

As others have said, time to go into protective mode, gather hard evidence, protect yourself financially. It's OK to want to work at saving your marriage, but I would still prepare for the worst. And as someone else said you may want to DNA the kids. I'm sure your first thought is no way the kids couldn't be mine, sadly it happens often enough that you need to worry, especially since your wife is currently pregnant and has had an ongoing secret relationship.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

it would matter to me if this other man was local or long distance, like on the other side of the country. If long distance, it just shows she has a very strong libido, and needs to be sexually stimulated much more than i am doing.

There is still the aspect of her lying and hiding it, which is very bad for your marriage. If she had come to you and said..."i have these very strong fantasies and want to be able to cam with other people online when you are not here"....then you could have set up boundary rules to make you both happy.

If the guy is local, it means they are probably doing cybersex online, which probably led to physical contact and an ongoing sexual relationship...which is very serious indeed.

In any event, i would NOT confront her until i knew more. Get a keylogger for your computer, and a VAR where she uses the computer and one near where she uses her hone, and figure out what is going on.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

JCM0 said:


> Alright the history first, My wife and I have been married for 4 going on 5 years now with a 2 year old and another due in 3 months. She does not have many "girl friends" and has always found more friendship in men. As for me I've always been a loner only 3 or 4 people I would call fiends. Around 8 months ago I had logged into her Skype so I could call her and saw that she had been video chatting with a guy for several hours everyday. A little further exploration into Skype and I found suggestive messages from both sides dating back a year. At this point I was upset and on fronted her about it and she sounded sincere and sorry, I also asked her to stop talking to that certain male and gave her another chance due to the fact that A. I love her and B. Our kid needed both parents So fast forward to present day, I found out that she has continued to talk to him through emails with the same suggestive themes, I am at a loss for word and do not know how to confront her again on the same situation. Is this just me being over jealous or am in the right to be very upset? I'll provide more info if you need it just needed to get this off my chest somewhere


Yes you have EVERY right to be upset. She is being a very foolish lady and risking her marriage. Does she want her children to have a broken home?

You need to confront her again and discuss what boundaries are needed in your marriage with the opposite sex.She clearly hasnt got any of her own.

I would fight for your marriage and also confront the OM. Has he got a partner or is he married?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

TAM2013 said:


> Is this where the feminazi pile in and tell you you're a jealous, controlling, possessive little man with small penis? And that you need to work on the root of your insecurity? After all, she's entitled to talk with who she wants.
> 
> Get evidence. Get your finances safe. Don't be the one who moves out. DNA the kids.


If they say that they are idiots. :surprise:


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

JCM0 said:


> Alright the history first, My wife and I have been married for 4 going on 5 years now with a 2 year old and another due in 3 months. She does not have many "girl friends" and has always found more friendship in men. As for me I've always been a loner only 3 or 4 people I would call fiends. Around 8 months ago I had logged into her Skype so I could call her and saw that she had been video chatting with a guy for several hours everyday. A little further exploration into Skype and I found suggestive messages from both sides dating back a year. At this point I was upset and on fronted her about it and *she sounded sincere and sorry, I also asked her to stop talking to that certain male and gave her another chance due to the fact that A. I love her and B. Our kid needed both parents So fast forward to present day, I found out that she has continued to talk to him through emails with the same suggestive themes, I am at a loss for word and do not know how to confront her again on the same situation.* Is this just me being over jealous or am in the right to be very upset? I'll provide more info if you need it just needed to get this off my chest somewhere


Let's see you caught your wife in at least an *emotional affair* with another man did absolutely nothing and expected what?

Oh and I still love her and the kids need her. Excuse to do nothing. How'd that work for you?

I'll bet he's married and you did nothing to inform his wife which helped hide their affair and enabled and emboldened them to continue, right?

In reality you should be surprised at what's happened. Did you think they'd stop just because you found out? Does your wife know you well enough that she can do what she wants and you'll not like it but do nothing?

You appear to be a weak passive guy who is more affraid to look controlling or jealous than to stand up and say I'll not tolerate my wife having an affair with another man. Will you be ok when they meet up for sex, if that haven't?

You need to wake the hell up. Why are you even asking questions about maybe looking jealous? Good god!


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

OP posted once a month ago and hasn't been back. 

Good advice can't be given if he's not going to participate, so this thread is now closed.

If OP returns and wants it re-opened he can PM me.


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