# need some tips, and advice from men and woman



## pickles (Apr 14, 2009)

Hello everyone. thanks for taking taking the time to respond to my post. 

I have been with my fiance for about 5 yrs. We currently do not live together yet, due to some unexpected things that have happened. My fiance was injured at work, and is at his home doing physical therapy. Before this, things have been shaky with the relationship...and we both decided to work it out, and improve the relationship.

I am supportive, and try to tell him everyday that im proud of him because he does so much everyday. I am nice to him and happy when he calls...My problem... we never talk. I have asked him if he could call me more than once a day, for me, i would like it because then I know he is thinking about me. He used to call even when he was super buisy, just to see how I was doing, even if it was for a minute. Now he says hes to buisy all day, with appointments and things. Yeah I get he is buisy, but ALL DAY. I told him i think its BS.

Second, he never askes me to come over. Its been a week and he just finally asked when my free days were. I told him that it looks like he doesnt want to see me. He said I was buisy all last week, and he cant really make plans ahead of time because when he goes for an appointment, they schedual another one sometimes, and he never knows when its going to be for.

I told him I dont feel like he is working on anything.He sais he is working on things, hes nice when he calls, lets me go if im tired, tells me nice things. 

The thing is he only calls at night for like 20 mins, hes nice and sweet but thats it. So i feel like he can use that as an excuse, " i called and Im trying cuz I was nice"... but nothnig else. He doesnt call more than once, doesnt ask me over, nothing, so how is that trying. Then he started crying because he said he is trying, and i make him feel like he isnt. Then he sais he will keep trying, doing all he can to make me happy.

then when he does this i feel like a *****. All ive asked is for him to call more, thats it, ive been asking for 3 monthes and he doesnt get it.

I just dont feel like he cares, or thinks about me, or even wantes to be with me. I dont feel like he adores me. But he swears he wants to be with me and keeps trying.

Am i just being a naggy ***** or what should i do


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## pickles (Apr 14, 2009)

ive even backed off, and stopped asking him for a couple weeks. he aslways thanked me for how hard i am trying but that it


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## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

Sounds like he might be somewhat depressed from his accident/injury and he might need some space. He doesn't want to tell you he needs space because it might hurt your feelings, but that's surely what it sounds like to me.

Give him some space for awhile, don't nag him about calling, if he does call try to be as sweet as possible, etc. Let him be the initiator of everything right now, calls, him inviting you over, etc. Don't push yourself on him until he's ready for you to be back in his "space".


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## marina72 (Dec 29, 2008)

I think he's either pulling away from you, and doesn't know how to break it to you, afraid of hurting you. Or, he's just so caught up in his physical therapy that he is thinking of not much else. Understandable, and if he's having pain, then he might be depressed feeling like he's never going to feel good again.

If he's able to go home, live his normal life, and go to pysical therapy appointments.... (I had to do this while i was pregnant) then there really is not a good reason why he would never want to see you.

I think you need to be face to face with him, and ask him frankly... what he wants. Ask him if he still wants to marry you. You can't keep guessing. Just find out, then at least you'll know....


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## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

marina is right, I didn't think about the possibility he might just be trying to pull away and pull off the "I want to break up with her, but don't want to hurt her feelings, so I'll just pull away until she breaks up with me" routine.

He either could be depressed/concentrating on his therapy, or trying to break it off. Either way you need to and deserve to find out.


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## pickles (Apr 14, 2009)

thanks for all your advice. I did have a talk with him, I even went as far as telling him im leaving just to see if that was what he wanted...he begged me not to go, and got upset about it. So that is not the case. He doesnt really have an answer i guess, he thinks he is doing everything right. uh so frusterating. 

I told him that when he sais he will call, and " forgets" without a text or anything, it upsets me. He said he will try to work on it...im hoping for the best


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

Pickles, are your parents divorced? did you not grow up with a steady father figure in your house?


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