# So when??



## faithaqua (Nov 28, 2011)

I continue to be perplexed by the fact that my H has not filed for the divorce yet. He has gotten more cruel as the weeks go on---the last 'conversation' I had with him was almost 2 weeks ago and he said he wants the divorce to get 'moving,' said he was talking to a lawyer---so when???
I'm not doing it--I did all the couples work in our marriage, he left, he wants this (not me), so I feel he should do it. 
I have humiliated myself a couple of times over the past few days with an email of "i miss you" and another inquiry re: another woman (he replied to the latter by the way). 
I feel so hurt and I allow myself to feel these things this early in the morn while my son still sleeps---he'll be up soon, so it'll be time to stuff it away for another day. It's all so draining.
Anyone have this experience with the divorce dawdling? He appears to want it so badly...


----------



## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

not quite the same but similar - my H wanted it but I've set the ball rolling

if I hadn't we'd still be married in 30 years time - he just doesn't get things done


----------



## cabbage65 (Feb 14, 2012)

i intend on getting the ball rolling even though this was h's decision. i just can't live in limbo any longer. there's no shame in doing it!


----------



## justabovewater (Jun 26, 2011)

I feel the same as you,Faith, this wasnt my idea therefore I'm not doing any of the work. We've been separated 9 months and dont even have a separation agreement. We've split up the bills and checking accounts and have a loose verbal agreement of who pays what. I'm guessing when the 12 month milestone comes along he'll get the ball rolling...we'll see.


----------



## yellowsubmarine (Feb 3, 2012)

I'm frustrated by the same behavior. I've been seeking explanations through other means (counseling, self-help books), but cannot comprehend why when someone wants something, they just don't go ahead and do it. 

I wish I could file, but unfortunately I have to wait (state laws).

If I could, I would file right now and not wait on someone else to prolong the process. But, then that is a tactic to make you suffer some more.

I'm still baffled by someone who you thought loved you, had your back, slept with you every night, turns on you. Amicable splits ought to be the norm. I should move to Utopia...


----------



## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

i agree with some of the others here, get the ball rolling.
just think, it will be the last thing you ever have to do for them again.
this kind of stuff makes me think they dont really want it, possibly to keep you there if things dont work out, but then you become their second choice, is that what you want?
if they say they want it sooo bad, give them that gift, see how they react then.
if you happen to want them back, that may make them see reality and possibly come back.


----------



## justabovewater (Jun 26, 2011)

Part of me wants to.....wants to get the ball rolling, but I'll be damned if I take care of one more thing that he should've done. I've been the one to do EVERYTHING in this relationship/household/life we've shared for the last 28 years. His only responsibility was to get up and go to work everyday, and I just refuse.


----------



## cabbage65 (Feb 14, 2012)

but i look at it as doing something for ME!


----------

