# Please help, spouse is possibly changing her mind



## won'tstoptrying53 (Feb 7, 2012)

Separated 4 months, ILYBINILWY. Now she wants to come over and cook for my son 5 nights a week. She is also saying that she is not ready to divorce after stating she was sure one month ago. I have been doing a complete 180 for the last week. I don't know if that is helping of if her minor changes are a coincidence. 

There is no other man, although she has insisted we be able to date during the separation. She is truly a WAW in my opinion. 

I told her that I didn't want to be here (be a third wheel) when she comes over to cook dinner. She wants me to be here to be a "family" for my son who is a senior in HS. What should I do? I am committed to saving my marriage.


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## sd212 (Feb 24, 2012)

Someone here is going to know what to say but it sounds to me like a dream come true. Like she is coming back. I bet people are going to say that you should tell her she can come back only if she really wants to COME BACK. I hope for you that is the case!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## won'tstoptrying53 (Feb 7, 2012)

Thanks for the thoughts, 212. She is pretty confused, but I do believe that soon after her "being sure" about divorce, she started to have doubts. 

Yesterday we spoke on the phone about the dinners. She called again, but I did not accept the calls. She also asked me to send her a letter from me that she saw at the house while I was out of town. I haven't sent it, and do not intend to. I think I will wait for more concrete actions from her before I temper the 180.


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## won'tstoptrying53 (Feb 7, 2012)

By the way, 212, my wife had an affair 14 years ago, and we healed pretty well from that. Obviously not perfectly. Been married 20 years to date.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

She had an affair 14 years ago and up to a month ago she was dead set on a divorce after she gave you the infamous cheaters line, ILYBINILWY, Oh and she insisted on the two of you dating others. And you say there is no other man? What is wrong with this picture? YOU. You are in a fog if you truly believe that there is no OM in the picture after all that has happened.

The sudden change of heart is simply because the OM she was seeing, chickened out and simply wanted her to be a FWB (friends with benefit). She became disappointed and now is making these kinds of gestures in order to come back to the marriage she had discarded.

It's your life but please try and remove the rose colored glasses and make wise decisions for your sake as well as your son's.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

I tend to agree with morituri. I think she may have had another relation that is now going south and she's looking to you to be the fall back guy, her safety net.

Stick to the 180. Move on with your life. She wants to have everything her way yet has not committed to try and make the marriage work (still keeping D on the table)

If her outside romance comes back (or perhaps she's cultivating a new one and wants to see where it goes?) I bet she'll drop you again like a load of s**t through a goose


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## won'tstoptrying53 (Feb 7, 2012)

OK, tough to hear, but I need to listen. Thanks for your input, Toffer, Morituri and 212.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

won'tstoptrying53 said:


> OK, tough to hear, but I need to listen. Thanks for your input, Toffer, Morituri and 212.


Yep, listen to those guys. They know their stuff. Wish I had met them a year ago.


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