# Friday night……



## TBY1 (Aug 23, 2021)

She messages me and asks if she can go out with new work colleagues 
Of course I say yeah no problem at all
She comes back at gone 0030. Didn’t want to but saw notifications on her phone and the receipt for a drink nowhere near where she said she was. She was out with with the scumbag who wrecked our marriage 
She came to bed and asked for a cuddle I said no. I took her phone And went downstairs and hacked it. Found communications going back months since we returned from Australia and stuff she should’ve been sending to me to him and him having no morals whats so ever and sending things you just don’t send to a now ex friends wife 
I’m done. She has made her bed now and I’m washing my hands of a cheat my broken soul, heart and I are moving away ASAP


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Sorry man. You’re making the right choice though.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Sounds like she cheated before? You made a mistake by not dumping her then. Sorry you got a repeat.
Correct that first mistake now.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

@TBY1 See a divorce solicitor and file ASAP. Sorry she let you down again.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

She can't be trusted.


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## ElwoodPDowd (Aug 25, 2021)

Well done, now you're getting there.

PS.
I've always required my current wife to be at home after dark, girls night's out is always an excuse for cheating. If she wants time alone with her friends, she can do it in the day.


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## Dictum Veritas (Oct 22, 2020)

I know you are in a world of hurt, but now is the time to be strong. Fake it if you have to, but this is the battle for your future. Look after yourself. Life gets a lot better once you cut the adulterous scum out and leave them to the streets where they belong.

We made the mistake of giving our hearts to the wrong people once, but other than that we now unjustly bear the scars of their immoral actions. Just know that once these people are excised like the cancer they are, your healing can begin.

Good luck to you. One step at a time, just make sure the majority of them carry you in the direction that you need to go.

ETA:
On the practical side, please do not interact with her from this moment forward without recording the conversation. This may serve you legally and protect you from false charges that might be brought against you.

Get tested for STDs as those bugs are nasty and some of them actually are fatal.

Withdraw half of all joint money and deposit it in an account only you have access to and suspend all joint credit cards.

See as many lawyers as you can in your area as once you've seen them, she can't use them, but retain the meanest cross between a bulldog and a shark you can find who also specializes in men's rights in family law. The money you spend on him may even be a drop in the bucket compared to the money he can save you in the long run.


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## SolidSnake1990 (Sep 15, 2013)

Yeah. If you aren't tied up in big ways economically you should totally ghost her ass. Completely. She doesn't deserver closure no drama. I totally and unequivocally support you ghosting her. Do it! Stay strong bro.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

ElwoodPDowd said:


> Well done, now you're getting there.
> 
> PS.
> I've always required my current wife to be at home after dark, girls night's out is always an excuse for cheating. If she wants time alone with her friends, she can do it in the day.


So you don't trust your wife?


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## ElwoodPDowd (Aug 25, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> So you don't trust your wife?


No, I'm OK with her sleeping with other guys if she wants, but her nights are for me and our family. Same rules for me.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

ElwoodPDowd said:


> No, I'm OK with her sleeping with other guys if she wants, but her nights are for me and our family. Same rules for me.


Oh ok. So neither of you are even faithful.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Diana7 said:


> So you don't trust your wife?


Married people have no business going out drinking and partying seperately. If thats what they want to do, then there is a reason they should not have gotten married. Besides i would not be trolling the meat markets either out of respect for my wife. If you are going to a known pick up place where people drink and are looking to hookup, the only respectable thing to do is have your spouse/SO by your side. Otherwise you are looking for attention.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

I'm glad this is your decision, and I hope you stick to it, so you can both heal from the betrayals you have BOTH perpetrated on eachother.

Get help for your attitude and your drug use, and you will be able to find and BE a better partner going forward.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Divinely Favored said:


> Married people have no business going out drinking and partying seperately. If thats what they want to do, then there is a reason they should not have gotten married. Besides i would not be trolling the meat markets either out of respect for my wife. If you are going to a known pick up place where people drink and are looking to hookup, the only respectable thing to do is have your spouse/SO by your side. Otherwise you are looking for attention.


Not every group of friends go to bars. I have known some to go for a meal or to the theatre for example. Perfectly acceptable.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Diana7 said:


> Not every group of friends go to bars. I have known some to go for a meal or to the theatre for example. Perfectly acceptable.


Fine as long as she is in before dark.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Divinely Favored said:


> Fine as long as she is in before dark.


In the winter here it's dark by 4 so no one is even at home from work by then.
Thankfully we have great trust in each other.


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## Absentminded (Aug 28, 2019)

Divinely Favored said:


> Fine as long as she is in before dark.


I had a curfew like that when I was a teenager. I sure as heck wouldn’t put up with it from my husband. 

For example, I went to the pub with some friends from the triathlon club I belong to the other evening. Husband didn’t want to go as he was tired but said I should go as it would be nice for me to see my friends. There were 15 of us, mixture of men and women, most of us without our partners. We had some food and drinks and chatted. I was the first to leave and I left at 9:30pm, it was dark when I got home. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Absentminded said:


> I had a curfew like that when I was a teenager. I sure as heck wouldn’t put up with it from my husband.
> 
> For example, I went to the pub with some friends from the triathlon club I belong to the other evening. Husband didn’t want to go as he was tired but said I should go as it would be nice for me to see my friends. There were 15 of us, mixture of men and women, most of us without our partners. We had some food and drinks and chatted. I was the first to leave and I left at 9:30pm, it was dark when I got home.
> 
> ...


As you say, it's like a father telling a 15 year old when to be home. 
Most of us trust our spouses and actually let them out after 7pm.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

It is not about curfews. I supervise sex offenders in Texas. Women and kids have no clue how many rapist and child sex offenders there really are. Just my office we supervise over 100 that are currently on parole. Not to mention those off parole.

Now add in alcohol and your guard is down. Coupled with woman alone walking to her car at night. Very easy target of opportunity for a rapist.

Too many people are nieve and clueless! It is only getting worse. Females have to be proactive. Human trafficing for sex is through the roof. Gangs force women into sex acts alot but since it is not all over tge news the citizens are oblivious to what is going on around them. 

Work in Law Enforcement field for a bit. It will open your eyes. Work in parole and read the files, complete with all the offenses committed against females and children....forensic medical details of the damage from forced rape. 

I wished all men felt the same. Not going out after dark unless he is present. Would stop alot of rapes, murders and abductions. Had HS classmates mom kidnapped and raped in late 80s from the WalMart parking lot. Lot of reports of hispanic men following women around on Wal-Mart parking lot after dark. Sex trafficers are everywhere. 

I bet many of the young girls that disappear never to ne found are in other countries as sex slaves.

Watch "Taken" ....girls being snatched is very real. But people are happy being oblivous and having a good time....until the rapist chooses them or their child.


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## ElwoodPDowd (Aug 25, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> As you say, it's like a father telling a 15 year old when to be home.
> Most of us trust our spouses and actually let them out after 7pm.


How did that trust work out for you in your 2(?) failed marriages?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Divinely Favored said:


> It is not about curfews. I supervise sex offenders in Texas. Women and kids have no clue how many rapist and child sex offenders there really are. Just my office we supervise over 100 that are currently on parole. Not to mention those off parole.
> 
> Now add in alcohol and your guard is down. Coupled with woman alone walking to her car at night. Very easy target of opportunity for a rapist.
> 
> ...


You can't expect people to live in fear and never go out just because on a a very rare occasion someone may be raped by a stranger in the street. 
Ok if you live in a big city that has lots of crime yes, otherwise no. 
Most child abuse for example is done by a family member of someone known to the family not by a stranger.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

ElwoodPDowd said:


> How did that trust work out for you in your 2(?) failed marriages?


I was divorced once after a long marriage. Happily married to a great man now for 16 years. We trust each other completely.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Diana7 said:


> You can't expect people to live in fear and never go out just because on a a very rare occasion someone may be raped by a stranger in the street.
> Ok if you live in a big city that has lots of crime yes, otherwise no.
> Most child abuse for example is done by a family member of someone known to the family not by a stranger.


Not saying dont go out...both spouses go to club/bar/pub together. Dont believe either should have BNO/GNO. If one wants to go out drinking/dancing with someone other than spouse/SO they should not have gotten together in 1st place.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Females from my former workplace often went out as a group of females and looked out for each other. No cheating no problems.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Divinely Favored said:


> Not saying dont go out...both spouses go to club/bar/pub together. Dont believe either should have BNO/GNO. If one wants to go out drinking/dancing with someone other than spouse/SO they should not have gotten together in 1st place.


As I said it doesn't have to drinking or dancing. Maybe a meal, theatre or cinema visit, sports event. 
Sometimes with previous churches we went to the guys went out for a curry, or the women for a meal. Nothing wrong with that.


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## CrAzYdOgLaDy (Mar 22, 2021)

TBY1 said:


> She messages me and asks if she can go out with new work colleagues
> Of course I say yeah no problem at all
> She comes back at gone 0030. Didn’t want to but saw notifications on her phone and the receipt for a drink nowhere near where she said she was. She was out with with the scumbag who wrecked our marriage
> She came to bed and asked for a cuddle I said no. I took her phone And went downstairs and hacked it. Found communications going back months since we returned from Australia and stuff she should’ve been sending to me to him and him having no morals whats so ever and sending things you just don’t send to a now ex friends wife
> I’m done. She has made her bed now and I’m washing my hands of a cheat my broken soul, heart and I are moving away ASAP


Sorry this is happening again. Hope you are strong enough to get through this. Please don't start back on the drugs and stay clean. Don't give her that satisfaction. Get as much support as you can to stay clean, get healthy, avoid the friends who take drugs, and one day she will regret this when she sees how well you are doing. She can't be trusted. You deserve someone who is faithful and doesn't spread their legs to your friends. Let the loser have her, they deserve each other.

When you walk through a storm
Hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark


YNWA


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