# Would you cheat if it is guaranteed no one will know



## nanofaan (Aug 1, 2014)

would you still cheat if it is guaranteed no one in the world or on earth will know you did?


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

No. Couldn't live with myself if I did.


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## devotion (Oct 8, 2012)

No way. Would I cheat or become an amn. 
I have to live with myself.


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## nanofaan (Aug 1, 2014)

I cant fix it lool


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## delirium (Apr 23, 2012)

Hell no. I would know.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

I've had a great of deal motive and incentive, plus opportunity. However, I also have integrity so chose not to do it. It was for my own self-respect, as I had none left for my wife, and it would not have bothered me at all if she'd been hurt if I'd done so - she'd already caused me far more.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

I cannot guarantee that I'm immune from making some mistakes or bad choices in the future, but if something feels wrong to me I will not do it, and conversely if I go down the wrong path and justify something to feel right for me I would likely do it.

So if it's something that getting "caught" in is a factor for, my instincts are that its wrong, meaning that if I need a guarantee of not getting caught it would only lead me to remain true much more than if no "guarantee" were present in the first place.

I guess that's what healthy boundaries and self-awareness can do for you (help someone see irrational justifications).


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## Coco2014 (May 8, 2014)

People say no now. Wait when they face the real temptations...


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

I have plenty of opportunity to cheat where no one would know - lots of guys at conferences, for sure. I have no desire to cheat - my SO is the one I want to be with, period.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening all
If I were the sort of person who would cheat if they didn't get caught, I certainly wouldn't post anything about it on the internet


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Coco2014 said:


> People say no now. Wait when they face the real temptations...


I am over 1200 miles away from my wife right now and have seen her for 8 days in the last three and a half months.

I get hit on all the time and could cheat constantly without a chance of getting caught.

The answer is still no.

Everyone gets tempted, not everyone gives in.


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

On this day in my life the answer is no. I have zero desire to do that right now.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

If I got some good p0ssy at home, I wouldn't. I guess if it was a huge opportunity for the both of us, I'd call first and see if it was ok. I wouldn't need to.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Getting caught has nothing to do with it. 

I'd know.


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

This is rhetorical question here, lol. Only those answering "no" will reply, others will stay quiet.


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## MachoMcCoy (Oct 20, 2014)

With a woman who actually wanted me? It's been a long time.

Yes, in a heartbeat.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

would you drown a baby if you never got caught?


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Wouldn't see the point in it. It's not like I'm likely to find some woman who has equipment or skills previously unknown to the human race. Don't need the drama, anyway.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

MachoMcCoy said:


> With a woman who actually wanted me? It's been a long time.
> 
> Yes, in a heartbeat.


At least you are honest on this forum. Telling your wife would be even better.


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

Apparently his wife doesn't really want him.


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## Angelou (Oct 21, 2014)

No bc I would know.
Oh and Karma would too.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Personal said:


> I wouldn't and haven't despite having the opportunity, since it really is a crappy thing to do to someone. Having experienced a cheering wife at the age of 20, I would never do that to anyone.


LOL!!! I have a "cheering" wife.:lol:

I get it.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Golden rule, yo


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Personal said:


> That happens when typing on a device.


Oh do I feel you on that issue.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

ConanHub said:


> LOL!!! I have a "cheering" wife.:lol:
> 
> I get it.


She's "cheering" on him alright. Making him a better and stronger man the only way she knows how.


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

No. I have been tested several times and have always passed. Even after he did and I wanted my revenge, I just couldn't do it. The repulsion not to is pretty visceral for me the thought of me doing it disgusts me.


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## Coco2014 (May 8, 2014)

ConanHub said:


> I am over 1200 miles away from my wife right now and have seen her for 8 days in the last three and a half months.
> 
> I get hit on all the time and could cheat constantly without a chance of getting caught.
> 
> ...


I believe not Everyone will give in, but definitely not the majority won't give in ( like the poll shows here). Human being are human being. 

I used to live overseas. I had seen how many expats gave in when they were pulled out of their familiar home country and dropped in a new, full of temptation environment without "supervision". A lot of them used to be good husband and good dad at home. Some of them even their wives followed them in the foreign county, still could not prevent the affair to happen and end up divorce. 

Some guys are not expats, they are just international travelers. They have a word " Things happened in XXX, stays in XXX." Their wives had no idea what happened on their trips.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

10 hour flight. Screaming child. I'm not saying it was the "right" thing to do.......


QUOTE=Runs like Dog;10747210]would you drown a baby if you never got caught?[/QUOTE]


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Coco2014 said:


> People say no now. Wait when they face the real temptations...


It is not that hard to answer "no" and mean it, it is not that hard to be a decent person, well IME it is not hard.

First marriage, almost 20 years to a LD man, became a sexless marriage. I am a HD woman that would not have found it hard to get sex outside the marriage but I am not a cheater, full stop, not then, not ever.

Now I am in the most amazing relationship of my life and I would never cheat, why would I risk losing my partner? 

No, never cheated, will never cheat not under any circumstances.


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## Rayloveshiswife (Sep 25, 2013)

Getting caught would not be the issue. I'd know and that would be one person too many. 

That said. My marriage was prety bad a year ago and I chose to reconcile verses getting involved in an affair.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

I would know. 

Why is it that the people who want to justify cheating use "most people would do it if given the opportunity" as the reason?

First of all, do you always do what other people do? If so, you are brainless and spineless. 

Secondly, if something is wrong, the fact that other people are doing it doesn't make it right. 

Sheesh.


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## Tabitha (Jun 17, 2014)

I'd have to know, and I couldn't live with that.


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

Your poll is flawed....one person on this earth would know...

ME.

So no, I wouldn't


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## pragmaster (May 7, 2014)

It depends on the person. It depends on their beliefs and what they fear in life and why they have those fears. I don't believe it has anything to do with integrity. It's just about risk and love of self. What do you have to lose and are you willing to risk it all? Why are you tempted? What are you missing from your current relationship that you wish to do so? Is it your ego or do you have needs that are missing? Are you willing to put yourself first? Ask yourself these questions first before anything. 

It's a crazy world. You might think he/she will never find out, but we are all connected in this world through our consciousness and intent. Do not underestimate the power of the universe. There are no such things as coincidences.

You live, you die. You might as well have as much fun in the world as possible and seize every opportunity. When my ex-wife cheated on me it was not the act of sex or betrayal of trust that brought me great pain. It was the fact that she would not accept my own love. For me sex meant nothing but an emotional affair was devastating. 

Sit down and meditate and try and feel the pain you could cause your loved one if he/she were to find out. Really be in his/her shoes for a moment. Don't just skim through the meditation. Take your time. 

I understand it is a marriage forum, but you asked a question and I will give you my honest response. Free will is sacred and should never be condoned, no matter what you do. It's your life and your choice to make. Once you make your decision, stand by it and don't look back ever again. Feeling guilty does not make you a good or sensitive person. Some can stomach it, others can't. What I am trying to say is the petty human mind will do anything to justify cheating, so just try and figure out why your mind is doing this in the first place. If you end up doing it, cover your tracks the best way you can (if your record is too clean that is also something for others to suspect) and if she catches you, be a man and speak the truth and nothing but the whole truth. 

I don't believe in good and evil. I believe in light and the absence of light. Love, and without love. Is this the path of love? The answer is obvious. What if you told your SO how you are feeling before engaging in an affair? What do you think could happen? 

You are human. Sometimes you have to make mistakes to learn. Life after life after life...

Good luck and play safe.


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## devotion (Oct 8, 2012)

Seriously, as someone who's been cheated on I don't want to put anyone through it. I was a bad husband and deserved the divorce, but I didn't deserve to be cheated on, just like you don't deserve to be abused (physically or mentally) and other things that should be deal breakers to all couples. 

The real question is what is cheating. Borrowing from the Seinfeld episode when did sex occur? One answer is when the nipple appears. (LOL) Maybe its just a kiss? Or a flirty email? 

Anyway, its a slippery slope so I avoid temptation. There will always be times you feel down in a relationship, and the grass is greener. Either water than damn grass or get a new lawn (ok, my metaphors suck)


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

People on this site have a very different perspective than people in general, perhaps because many have experienced infidelity, or maybe they just have a reputation to protect on the site. In blind surveys, the results are these:

Percentage of men who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught 74 % 

Percentage of women who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught 68 % 


Infidelity Statistics | Statistic Brain


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## Coco2014 (May 8, 2014)

Holland said:


> It is not that hard to answer "no" and mean it, it is not that hard to be a decent person, well IME it is not hard.
> 
> First marriage, almost 20 years to a LD man, became a sexless marriage. I am a HD woman that would not have found it hard to get sex outside the marriage but I am not a cheater, full stop, not then, not ever.
> 
> ...


First of all, most people who cheated once, are also decent people. They are not bad people. They just did not resist the temptation once. 

Secondly, I don't think you really understand this poll. It says "no one will know". That means it is risk free. Since nobody else will ever know, so there is no risk of hurting your partner or losing your partner. 

Not I don't believe you, I just don't believe majority of people can resist the temptation if it is risk free. I don't believe human being won't be human being.


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## Coco2014 (May 8, 2014)

pragmaster said:


> It depends on the person. It depends on their beliefs and what they fear in life and why they have those fears. I don't believe it has anything to do with integrity. It's just about risk and love of self. What do you have to lose and are you willing to risk it all? Why are you tempted? What are you missing from your current relationship that you wish to do so? Is it your ego or do you have needs that are missing? Are you willing to put yourself first? Ask yourself these questions first before anything.
> 
> It's a crazy world. You might think he/she will never find out, but we are all connected in this world through our consciousness and intent. Do not underestimate the power of the universe. There are no such things as coincidences.
> 
> ...


I think the assumption of this poll is that if cheating is absolutely risk-free, how many people can resist the temptation. In real life, cheating is risky. The cheater can lose everything by cheating. Just assume if one person has super power, so absolutely nobody will ever find out. So the cheater will never hurt his/her partner, will never lose the partner and family, never lose money and reputation...


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## Justus3 (Oct 18, 2014)

Definately not. I could never live with myself.


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## Coco2014 (May 8, 2014)

Married but Happy said:


> People on this site have a very different perspective than people in general, perhaps because many have experienced infidelity, or maybe they just have a reputation to protect on the site. In blind surveys, the results are these:
> 
> Percentage of men who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught 74 %
> 
> ...


So far 995 people opened this poll but only 54 people voted. Guess what the other 995-54= 941 people would vote for?


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## ILuvTheDesserts (Aug 29, 2014)

No.

Karma will bite you in the ass tenfold and even though no one will ever know ............... you would and the guilt would never be worth the what 5 seconds at best of that orgasm ??


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Coco.

I believe many on this forum are probably being honest. I know I am.

I am in a hotel room most of the time and with male companionship the rest. I do this on purpose because I am tempted. It is human to be tempted.

I do not believe it has to be part of the human condition to give in.

I know a lot of people do give in and yes, they are fvcking scum while they are at it. Decent people control themselves.

Your idea of being human is being out of control. I think humans who lack self control in such a vital issue are far from decent, vile comes to mind.

Violence is as much a primal force as sex.

How about if you could murder or torture or rape anyone that you wanted without a chance of getting caught?

I do believe a sickening amount of the population would go for it.

It still makes everyone of them scum.

I will never agree that an out of control state is all we humans are.

I am more at least. I believe there are many others as well.

Maybe not most, but many.

Am I not human because I don't behave according to your definition?

I will be gone from this location in two weeks. I know no one here. There is no family or friends. My wife and I will never have to come through this location, I could make sure of it.

I get propositioned about two or three times a week even with my limited exposure.

I would not even have to give my real name.

If I wanted, I could have different women every week, and no one but God and me would know the truth.

Think what you will, not everyone is a "decent" enough human to act like a pig and fvck their brains out while their spouse is thousands of miles away and oblivious.


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

Coco2014 said:


> So far 995 people opened this poll but only 54 people voted. Guess what the other 995-54= 941 people would vote for?


I opened this topic from my iPhone using the TapaTalk app and I didn't see the poll at all and I'm guessing that many/most people didn't see it either. 

So you're assuming that all of the missing votes would be "yes, I would cheat" which is clearly untrue for the reason I have stated above and also for the reason that in an anonymous poll there is no reason to hold back.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Coco2014 said:


> First of all, most people who cheated once, are also decent people. They are not bad people. They just did not resist the temptation once.
> 
> Secondly, I don't think you really understand this poll. It says "no one will know". That means it is risk free. Since nobody else will ever know, so there is no risk of hurting your partner or losing your partner.
> 
> Not I don't believe you, I just don't believe majority of people can resist the temptation if it is risk free. I don't believe human being won't be human being.



Yes I understand the poll, not being a simpleton and all. I have never and would never cheat even if risk free. I love sex but I value myself enough not to lower my standards. It is a sad indictment on you that you don't believe people can go through life without cheating, very sad and jaded.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## pragmaster (May 7, 2014)

As bad it sounds, as long as you are true to yourself, nothing else matters. 

Good and evil are mankind's creations.


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## Coco2014 (May 8, 2014)

VermisciousKnid said:


> I opened this topic from my iPhone using the TapaTalk app and I didn't see the poll at all and I'm guessing that many/most people didn't see it either.
> 
> So you're assuming that all of the missing votes would be "yes, I would cheat" which is clearly untrue for the reason I have stated above and also for the reason that in an anonymous poll there is no reason to hold back.


Assuming the other people would all vote "I would cheat" is untrue. I agree with you. 

If we asked those cheaters this question before they cheated, what do you think they would say? Would they say" Oh yeah, I will cheat in the future"? I would assume most of them would say" No, I would not". And I believe them that's their true feeling at that moment. People don't know what they will do until they are really in the circumstance.


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## Coco2014 (May 8, 2014)

Holland said:


> Yes I understand the poll, not being a simpleton and all. I have never and would never cheat even if risk free. I love sex but I value myself enough not to lower my standards. It is a sad indictment on you that you don't believe people can go through life without cheating, very sad and jaded.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Like I said, not I don't believe you or any individual person will never cheat. I don't believe majority of people will never cheat if there is no consequence. And the reality is there are bunches of people cheating out there even there are consequences. 

Anything wrong with my statement? You can believe what ever you believe. I don't feel sad for you. So why you feel sad for me? You feel sad just because I don't believe this world is an ideal world?


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

The problem, coco, is that you understand the only risk of extra marital sex to be getting caught. The real problem with infidelity is the underlying condition in the relationship that would cause one to prefer to going outside and giving/receiving physical pleasure with someone other than their spouse (you know, the one who cherishes and loves you and with whom you made vows together with).


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

There is absolutetely no need to ever cheat, if you want sex with someone new, then don't make a vow to forsake all others.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

how could you somehow forget that they had an affair? 

Unless "no one would know" instead means "no one other than yourself would know, and you would have to live with that shame to your grave" 

how could u live withyouself knowing what you did. So NO.


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## Coco2014 (May 8, 2014)

Lon said:


> The problem, coco, is that you understand the only risk of extra marital sex to be getting caught. The real problem with infidelity is the underlying condition in the relationship that would cause one to prefer to going outside and giving/receiving physical pleasure with someone other than their spouse (you know, the one who cherishes and loves you and with whom you made vows together with).


You mean if one person do this again and again? How about the risk free opportunity is just a one time thing?


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## Coco2014 (May 8, 2014)

ConanHub said:


> Coco.
> 
> I believe many on this forum are probably being honest. I know I am.
> 
> ...


“Your idea of being human is being out of control. I think humans who lack self-control in such a vital issue are far from decent, vile comes to mind.”

-	My idea is that human are vulnerable. There is no guarantee that a human’s moral can defeat his emotion /lust every time, all the time, under any circumstance. Besides moral, human needs some other methods to prevent them from cheating: like having consequence and pulling away from temptation. 

“How about if you could murder or torture or rape anyone that you wanted without a chance of getting caught?”

-	You are not comparing apple to apple. How about comparing to easily stealing one million dollars from a bank with guarantee no consequence? 

“Am I not human because I don't behave according to your definition?”

-	You speak for yourself. But do you represent majority of human being? I don’t think so. The difference is that you think you can represent majority of human. That’s just we having different opinions about human nature.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Never.

And, yes, I've had the opportunity where I could NEVER get caught and the woman was a smoking hot 20-something pretty much begging me for it, no strings attached, anything I wanted to do with her she would do.

Nope.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

The only way you can truly cheat with NO ONE knowing is to go from your right hand to your left hand.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Coco2014 said:


> Like I said, not I don't believe you or any individual person will never cheat. I don't believe majority of people will never cheat if there is no consequence. And the reality is there are bunches of people cheating out there even there are consequences.
> 
> Anything wrong with my statement? You can believe what ever you believe. I don't feel sad for you. So why you feel sad for me? You feel sad just because I don't believe this world is an ideal world?


I didn't say I feel sad for you, honestly I don't invest that sort of energy into randoms on the net. What I said was that I think your POV on this is jaded and sad. It is jaded and sad that you do not believe that some of us are capable of holding ourselves accountable for our actions, that cheating is abhorrent to some.
It is a sad indictment on your character (or lack thereof) that you don;t understand that cheating is something that not every body does even if it were risk free.

The question is flawed to start with because unless a person is completely without any self respect then there is going to be a major risk involved with cheating. Not the risk of getting caught but the risk to ones own sense of integrity. Only a person with no integrity could think that there could be such a thing as risk free cheating.

I have never cheated because I feel it would undermine how I feel about myself, not because of any fear of getting caught. Sure I enjoy risky sexual activities at times but as I am not stupid I do not participate in anything that risks my own self worth.


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## Coco2014 (May 8, 2014)

Holland said:


> I didn't say I feel sad for you, honestly I don't invest that sort of energy into randoms on the net. What I said was that I think your POV on this is jaded and sad. It is jaded and sad that you do not believe that some of us are capable of holding ourselves accountable for our actions, that cheating is abhorrent to some.


Please quote my word that where did I ever say that I don't believe there are some human are capable of holding themselves accountable...

I said I don't believe majority of human won't cheat if there is no consequence and risk. 

Apparently you think you represent majority of human and get offended by my words. 

You need to improve your reading comprehension.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Maybe it is your pigeon English, it is very hard to read.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

nanofaan said:


> would you still cheat if it is guaranteed no one in the world or on earth will know you did?


No. I'd know, and that's really all that matters.


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## Meli33 (Oct 16, 2014)

H3ll no!!! If you have the urge and want to sleep with other people, then you need to be single. It isn't fair on your partner to do this to them...


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Coco2014 said:


> “Your idea of being human is being out of control. I think humans who lack self-control in such a vital issue are far from decent, vile comes to mind.”
> 
> -	My idea is that human are vulnerable. There is no guarantee that a human’s moral can defeat his emotion /lust every time, all the time, under any circumstance. Besides moral, human needs some other methods to prevent them from cheating: like having consequence and pulling away from temptation.
> 
> ...


If you would read my entire post, you would see that I agree with you about most of humanity. I just don't refer to them as decent.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## RV9 (Sep 29, 2014)

Regarding cheating, there are two kinds of people - those who can't avail opportunities and those who will create opportunities. Both have different moral standards. One chooses to nurture their families, other chooses to destroy. One chooses to be true to their values, other chooses their desires.


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Crimes of opportunity always fascinates me. I think it's because it's a great view into someone's real character. But then again, it could be about circumstances, too.

Would I drown a baby if I never got caught?
No.

Would I steal if I never got caught? 
No

Would I steal food to feed my kids if they were starving?
Yes

Would I take home a bag of 500k I found abandoned in an alley?
Yup
Would I keep it? That's a tough call. The temptation would be there. But there's probably some sinister reason why a bag of money is abandoned in an alley.

And would I cheat? I could say no. But am I really sure? Right now there is no Mrs. omega. Maybe having one would make me say a definite no. ...or would it?

Seems like I need to dig deeper into finding out who I really am...


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