# Having sex with my wife for the 2nd time



## remi (May 22, 2017)

Toll Post -Amp


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I think that the overnight for your anniversary sounds like a good idea. You might want to bring it up to her ahead of time so that she has a chance to think about it.

Sure hope that the two of you can break through this and make it work since you have come this far. Maybe if you start really dating each other. Why not?


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## dqogle (May 10, 2017)

Greetings

I love where you are right now and I know it sounds weird however the reason for me feeling that way is this, you are currently and have been at the lowest point in your marriage for this past year. The beauty about it is that you guys can move forward from here and make the best of things. I am pretty sure that this could turn out to be a very successful marriage seeing that you started from the bottom. 

I do agree with your plan for your anniversary and as Ele Girl said tell her about your plans before hand. This will give her time to get used to the idea and time works it all out.

Strange enough I am very excited for you guys simply because many will be encouraged by your relationship. Regarding your wife's first son just try looking at it this way God has placed that boy in your life for a particular reason and you have a chance to impact his life positively. So if you see yourself as being privileged this will change your behaviour with this little boy. In time you will start seeing him as your own. 

I wish you all the best.

Sent from my GT-N7105 using Tapatalk


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

I have to ask. How are you sure this child is yours?


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

I think you guys are in a good place to make this work. But don't start with sex, instead start with getting to know each other. Appoarch it like you are dating and learn about her and be willing to be open to her as well.

Good luck.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

For all practical purposes, you have an arranged marriage. It may not be typical arranged marriage like some of the eastern cultures where your parents had this worked out since birth, but for all practical purposes your marriage is one of duty, obligation and to meet familial and religious expectations. 

That's not necessarily a bad thing and I don't want to imply that it is bad or doomed in any way. In many ways traditional cultures and cultures that practice arranged marriage have higher success rates than cultures that don't. 

But anyway, where I am going with this is people who are in arranged marriages often date, get to know each other, develop feelings, grow and nurture love and respect for each other and do nurture sexuality within their relationship and do become sexually active and have active and satisfying sex lives. 

....and they do that AFTER they are married and have a home and children together. 

You may be wise to seek guidance, advice and support from people, counselors and clergy who are familiar with counseling couples of arranged marriage. 

Arranged marriage traditionally has been the norm throughout most of human history across the globe. In historical terms, people choosing their own mates based on love is a very recent newcomer to the marriage scene and pretty much just in western cultures over the last 150 years or so. 

My suggestion is to seek guidance from people knowledgable in how couples of arranged learn to foster love and romance and sexuality within their marriage.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Sounds like she has some issues. If you can afford it, some individual counseling for her might be wise. Failing that, maybe a religious priest/minister/rabbi can add some help. 

You can not be married with her sleeping on the couch. That is just a nasty symptom of a much deeper problem. She sounds like she had a long term relationship with some guy, had her first son, and then he dumped her. THAT is going to turn her off a lot on men in general. Since you "did the right thing" to support her when in need, you can work on that. Show her you ARE reliable, want to make it work, but that marriage is a two way street.

Start out "dating" her again, after having the above talk, so that you two can discover each other, and maybe fall in love along the way. Good luck.


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## remi (May 22, 2017)

I thought it would be nice to surprise her but good point about letting her know in advance. She will probably want to prepare and think about it. I don't want her to think that I just want to get her in bed. I'm not going to lie, it'd be nice it's been a long time, but that's not the intention. I want her to have a good anniversary. One day, if we can fall in love and work out I'd like to give her a real wedding. 

I have a hard time getting in the mindset of dating her. We’re married, we live together and we have a child together (and a step child for me). I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to just date her. I don’t think our marriage can get much worse than this. Hopefully. 

Her son has called me dad twice now, and I’m not sure how to handle it. I’m not his dad, his dad is involved. She doesn’t know about it yet. I didn’t want to rock the boat. When he called me dad I didn’t notice at first, he said it a few times to get my attention. I responded to him but didn’t know if I should be correcting him. Normally he just calls me by my name. 

She was only intimate with me for about a 1 year span. She was very upset when I asked for a DNA test. I ended up having one done without her knowing. I needed the reassurance that she had and didn’t need to upset her. 

It does feel like an arranged marriage of sorts. The way they do things may be worth me looking into. 

She is slow to warm up. It took her 2-3 years to move in with and have sex with her father’s son. She was with him for 6 years, had an unplanned pregnancy 4 years in or so, he wouldn’t marry her or get engaged. He detatched from her and her son and wanted nothing to do with them, they essentially were roommates until he dumped her for someone else. 

I have to get myself in the mindset of dating her. It feels unnatural, like trying to get to know someone who you already know. Except, I don’t know her really.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Troll


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