# anal sex help



## needsomeadviceplease27 (Mar 23, 2014)

My husband and I have been trying to have anal sex but it hurts so badly when he tries to penetrate me. He can put his fingers in two of them fit fine with no pain, we took it slowly but every time it hurts. we use plenty of lube. so I guess I have a few questions. Am I ever going to be able to have anal? 
If so any advice? 
Will it be worth it? for me?
thanks


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Is there a reason why Google didn't come up with dozens of instructions on how to have anal sex?


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## NewHubs (Dec 23, 2012)

I prefer using Dog Pile ;-)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Gonnabealright (Oct 24, 2013)

lol
I actually blushed a little bit. Good luck taking it in the schinkter.


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## Pepper123 (Nov 27, 2012)

Eat.more.fiber.


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## being the best me (Apr 25, 2011)

It takes time and persistence, you said you can take 2 fingers then work on 3, then 4 and so on. Try and make sure you are also cleaned out, a bulb enema with warm water at least 2 hours before. You may also want to try a small plug to wear for a while. But just remember take it slow & with plenty of lube & practice you will become a Pro.


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## TopsyTurvy5 (Nov 16, 2013)

1. More lube
2.Relax
3. More lube
4. Use fingers or a butt plug to help get ready
5. More lube
6. Relax
7. Go very slow and let the woman be on top- reverse cowgirl works well
8. More lube
9. Relax
10. Go slow, put in a little and then stop. Once you can accommodate him put in a little more and then stop. Repeat until he is all the way in. This may take a couple of attempts in different sessions.
11. More lube
12. Relax

Some women love anal, some are okay with it, and some don't like it at all. It is rarely something you love right off the bat. And despite the comments made by some on this site, most women/ people can accommodate most men anally.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

The pain you're experiencing is nature's way of alerting you to potentially damaging your body. Rather than trying to find ways to alleviate the pain, why not heed what your body is telling you and rather experiment with the countless other ways of having an exciting sex life?


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## blonde01 (Mar 20, 2014)

lots of lube you may have to experience with a couple of brands,
there is some good lube and bad lube. 
try to relax, 
try different positions you will find one that is beneficial to you both.( i prefer the spooning position)
if need( not to get to graphic) use a small vibe to help you relax, 
try helping working it in at your own pace,


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Get the rear to relax with the one or two fingers. Give it some time. When it's time to put the c0ck in there, put pressure on the hole until the c0ck head pops in, keep pressing forward till you are 4-5" in there. Relax for a minute.

Take short 1-2" strokes from this point. If she wants you to have more she will ask for it or press towards you. Do not completely withdraw the c0ckhead through the spinchter and press it back in, it's not pleasing for someone new to it.

That's why I said to get it in deep enough and just leave it, and move very little.

Over time she will relax more, the sensation will become pleasing and she will ask for more or take more herself.


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## Nunnzie (Mar 12, 2014)

We have tried different things and found that it all depends on how relaxed she is to not feel pain. What works for us is getting her very aroused which helps her relax and loosen up. So what we do is start off with tons of lube and I go very slow and just barely penetrate her at first (like only 1 inch). I get her aroused by reaching around and playing with her clit with my fingers and once she starts to really feel the pleasure of my playing with her she will slowly loosen up and I let her control the depth of my penetration in her backside. When she really gets aroused she will get very relaxed where I slide all the way in with no problems at all and she usually has huge orgasms this way. Try that and see where it goes.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

It might be about the position too. I find missionary better than doggie


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

needsomeadviceplease27 said:


> My husband and I have been trying to have anal sex but it hurts so badly when he tries to penetrate me. He can put his fingers in two of them fit fine with no pain, we took it slowly but every time it hurts. we use plenty of lube. so I guess I have a few questions. Am I ever going to be able to have anal?
> If so any advice?
> Will it be worth it? for me?
> thanks


In my experience, though YMMV, only the initial entry hurts. Once he is in and slowly moving, no pain. The more you can relax yourself, the less it hurts though that is hard to do. I only like it sometimes, though I gift it from time to time. But the wildest time we ever had was anal and a Hitachi. Rocked both our worlds.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

over20 said:


> It might be about the position too. I find missionary better than doggie


Yes I agree with this. Angle is huge.


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## omgitselaine (Sep 5, 2013)

Lube. Loooooots and Loooooots of it  


If you think you've used enough ............. well use a little more !!!!


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

NobodySpecial said:


> Yes I agree with this. Angle is huge.


It's difficult Dh likes it doggy so he can enjoy the view, I do like it that way but it is more painful...maybe because he is more engorged from excitement...:scratchhead: I have had to really communicate to him though that I like it missionary...NO missionary no anal sex


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## MagnificentEddy (Nov 15, 2012)

You need to understand that, as a woman, having anal sex makes about as much sense as getting a hair cut with a circular saw. It might be possible, but it's so dangerous, and the results are likely to be so poor, why would you even try?

Your poop-shute is designed to be a one-way street. With the exception of suppository medicines prescribed (and preferably administered) by a fully licensed medical professional, nothing should go up there.

One of the major anatomical differences between you and your partner, is that you do not have nerve-endings in the right places to derive stimulatory pleasure from anal sex, although you do have them in the right places to warn you that damage is likely to happen or actually happening if something too big is forced up your anus. From a medical standpoint (NOT A MORAL ONE), anal sex for women is a really really bad idea. It is potentially lethal. To put it into simple commonly understood terms, if your lower bowel tissues are ruptured (torn), fecal matter (5h1t) can pass through the ruptures (tears) resulting in infection and quite possibly death. I have yet to meet any woman who prefers anal sex to breathing.

Perhaps your partner wants to hang-out in a bar bragging to his buddies that he literally F***ed you to death, but if not, if he actually cares about you and your wellbeing in any way shape or form, to even the tinyest degree, he will stop trying to harm you in this way.

If I was a woman in a relationship with a guy like that, I would go to bed with a 12inch bowie knife and 'Wayne Bobbitt' any bastard who tried to harm me that way. Whether or not you choose to give him fair warning is entirely up to you.

This is not a question of being prudish, or moralistic, or a buzz-kill, or failing to deliver your partner something that he deserves. has a legal or moral right to, or will be less of a man if he doesn't get.

It is a question of extreme and unneccessary risk taking for no reward (to you),and whether you want to spend your final years with a butt so stretched that it can't contain your poop resulting in a need to wear nappies.

I'm not suggesting that the next time your partner tries to initiate anal sex you quickly roll over and scream in his face "WHAT'S WRONG WITH F**KING MY C**T YOU PERVERT!. That is a tactic to reserve in case he proves tediously persistent. It is however worth remembering that you have another orifice, not far away, specifically and perfectly designed for sex, that you can both derive much pleasure from, probably with no pain and no lube. You know the one! If that isn't good enough for him, you really won't find it too difficult to find someone it is good enough for.


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## daffodilly (Oct 3, 2011)

Make sure it's something you really want to try....not to please him...but that you are curious as well. 

I found using butt plugs helped......started with the smallest I could find, and worked up to larger ones over time, before he even came near me for anal. Made a difference. And you can never have too much lube...if in doubt, use more. It is something that definitely will take a long time to get comfortable with, if you rush it at all it will be a terrible experience.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

MagnificentEddy said:


> You need to understand that, as a woman, having anal sex makes about as much sense as getting a hair cut with a circular saw. It might be possible, but it's so dangerous, and the results are likely to be so poor, why would you even try?
> 
> Your poop-shute is designed to be a one-way street. With the exception of suppository medicines prescribed (and preferably administered) by a fully licensed medical professional, nothing should go up there.
> 
> ...


This is what my gyn told me. Im surprised that other women have not been told that. She went into great detail. She even said the only way to clean yourself safe enough to even have anal is to take an enema. 

Am I the only woman who has been told of the dangers? She also said there is medical proof that the medical community will not put forward in the past because of gay community but more of them are beginning to avoid it. Is this true?


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## 41362 (Dec 14, 2012)

MagnificentEddy said:


> Your poop-shute is designed to be a one-way street. With the exception of suppository medicines prescribed (and preferably administered) by a fully licensed medical professional, nothing should go up there.


Hmmm... then I'm assuming that it's okay if the licensed medical professional perscribes it for herself a half dozen times a year, or so...?

Considering she initiates it... orgasms like crazy...and went to school three times longer than myself to gain the knowledge necessary to make that decision... I'm gonna stay with the status quo


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## MagnificentEddy (Nov 15, 2012)

committed4ever said:


> This is what my gyn told me. Im surprised that other women have not been told that. She went into great detail. She even said the only way to clean yourself safe enough to even have anal is to take an enema.
> 
> Am I the only woman who has been told of the dangers? She also said there is medical proof that the medical community will not put forward in the past because of gay community but more of them are beginning to avoid it. Is this true?


I don't know about that, but the facts relating to the risks are real enough.

Along with smoking, alcohol abuse, narcotic abuse etc, the truth is that anal sex has very real health risks, yet plenty of people, including some medical professionals, do one or more of those things, despite knowing the risks. Noone should make moral judgements about such indulgences, except where they present danger to others (e.g. driving while drunk), and it is afterall hard to conceive of any normal situation where anal sex might endanger others.

My point (perhaps marginally off topic) is that the risks need to be more widely known, and if they were, perhaps fewer people, including the OP, would be asking 'How to' type questions about it. Back in the 1960s many people speaking out against smoking were regarded as over-cautious risk-averse nuts, but how many lives have been longer or of higher quality because of the message they promoted?

For me it is an emotive topic because there have been so many instances where women have been forced or coerced into participating in anal sex, which doesn't apply to this thread because the OP has given no indication whatsoever that she is doing so under duress.

The OP did however ask "Am I ever going to be able to have anal? If so any advice? Will it be worth it? for me?", and it is specifically the "Will it be worth it?" question which I have tried to answer.


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## married tech (Jan 18, 2014)

I think its one of those things that either works for you or it doesn't. 

Personally I enjoy when a girl wants anal. I had a girlfriend who wanted to try it in high school and she got into it without any difficulties. It really got her off taking me and my orgasm inside her without protection.

But no its not for everyone.


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## TopsyTurvy5 (Nov 16, 2013)

MagnificentEddy said:


> You need to understand that, as a woman, having anal sex makes about as much sense as getting a hair cut with a circular saw. It might be possible, but it's so dangerous, and the results are likely to be so poor, why would you even try?
> 
> Your poop-shute is designed to be a one-way street. With the exception of suppository medicines prescribed (and preferably administered) by a fully licensed medical professional, nothing should go up there.
> 
> ...


It's a dangerous world out there. Sex activities and risk - Live Well - NHS Choices


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## TopsyTurvy5 (Nov 16, 2013)

MagnificentEddy said:


> You need to understand that, as a woman, having anal sex makes about as much sense as getting a hair cut with a circular saw. It might be possible, but it's so dangerous, and the results are likely to be so poor, why would you even try?
> 
> Your poop-shute is designed to be a one-way street. With the exception of suppository medicines prescribed (and preferably administered) by a fully licensed medical professional, nothing should go up there.
> 
> ...



There are so many fallacies in your post, it is really difficult to know where to start.

1.) Some/many who want to actually enjoy anal sex. To say it provides no pleasure as if it is a fact shows your blatant bias. (Religious, perhaps?)

2. If done properly with relaxation, lube, taking time, etc... anal sex does not have to be painful. It can actually be enjoyable for many people. 

3. The vagina, while wonderful, is NOT the be all/end all of sexual pleasure for all people. If that is the case then why bother with oral or manual stimulation? Some people actually like a variety of sexual activities. Personally I would never be with someone who only wanted to do one sexual activity. 

4.The possibility of tearing lower bowel tissues with normal anal sex s so remote it hardly even bears EVER mentioning. Some people can be seriously injured during vaginal sex and oral sex, so I guess I'll be looking for your write-up about those next. Thought not.

5.There is NO evidence that normal anal sex will cause loss of bowel control. Do a Google search for God's sake to see this reasoning shot down. Seriously, this is ridiculous now.

Look, I don't care whether people engage in anal sex or not, that is there business. However, I do get really irritated when people try to pass off lies, conjecture, and personal dogma as fact.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

MagnificentEddy said:


> You need to understand that, as a woman, having anal sex makes about as much sense as getting a hair cut with a circular saw. It might be possible, but it's so dangerous, and the results are likely to be so poor, why would you even try?
> 
> Your poop-shute is designed to be a one-way street. With the exception of suppository medicines prescribed (and preferably administered) by a fully licensed medical professional, nothing should go up there.
> 
> ...



:rofl:

I totally enjoyed this post!


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

I really appreciated hearing from everyone who supported not doing anal sex.

Several years ago I asked dh if he wanted to try it. He is committed to me, and I wanted him to feel as satisfied as possible with our sex life. So I asked him. He said no, he had heard it was dangerous for the woman.

A few years later I had our last child, and about a year after was told by my ob gyn that my bladder and rectum were at risk of prolapse. 

To this day, I am so grateful to dh for not accepting my offer. He put my health above any potential pleasure. Thanks, dh.


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## TopsyTurvy5 (Nov 16, 2013)

jld said:


> I really appreciated hearing from everyone who supported not doing anal sex.
> 
> Several years ago I asked dh if he wanted to try it. He is committed to me, and I wanted him to feel as satisfied as possible with our sex life. So I asked him. He said no, he had heard it was dangerous for the woman.
> 
> ...


Not picking on you, but I wonder if after reading. This article: Oral Sex: Safety, Risks, Relationships, STD Transmission

If you would put the health of your husband as highly and insure that he not engage in oral sex with you?

In my opinion, there are many risks we take when we are sexually active. And while it is true that some things are risky than others, we tend to choose the behaviors we feel comfortable with due to our social pressures, upbringing, point of view, etc... I just wish people would get informed.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

TopsyTurvy5 said:


> There are so many fallacies in your post, it is really difficult to know where to start.
> 
> 1.) Some/many who want to actually enjoy anal sex. To say it provides no pleasure as if it is a fact shows your blatant bias. (Religious, perhaps?)
> 
> ...


Depends on what you google. Google is anal sex safe and you will get sure it is just use lots of lube take an enema and take it slow. Google is anal sex dangerous and you will get yes it is the butt was made for exit not entry the spincter can tear you could lose bowel control you could get infections . 

People have to decide for thrmselves and no one should be pressured. I personally think every man who wants to stick it up a butt should get dildo shoved up his. With plenty of lube of lube of course.


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

Anal sex is off the docket for me and the Mrs. She said it was painful and I am already enough of a pain in the ass for her. I didnt need to add to it. She is great about everything else so I am willing to give that up. She was a trooper and tried a few times but it was not pleasurable for her. We had a long discussion about it and I said ok. We can agree to not do this again and I dont ever bring it up. There are plenty of other paths though the sex forest to explore.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

Happyquest said:


> Anal sex is off the docket for me and the Mrs. She said it was painful and *I am already enough of a pain in the ass for her. *didnt need to add to it. She is great about everything else so I am willing to give that up. She was a trooper and tried a few times but it was not pleasurable for her. We had a long discussion about it and I said ok. We can agree to not do this again and I dont ever bring it up. There are plenty of other paths though the sex forest to explore.


Part in bold: that's a good one! :rofl:


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

daffodilly said:


> Make sure it's something you really want to try....not to please him...but that you are curious as well.


Why not just to please him? As long as it does not cause actual harm, I see nothing wrong with trying to please ones' spouse.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

committed4ever said:


> This is what my gyn told me. Im surprised that other women have not been told that. She went into great detail. She even said the only way to clean yourself safe enough to even have anal is to take an enema.
> 
> Am I the only woman who has been told of the dangers? She also said there is medical proof that the medical community will not put forward in the past because of gay community but more of them are beginning to avoid it. Is this true?


Life is one giant risk benefit analysis.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

committed4ever said:


> Depends on what you google. Google is anal sex safe and you will get sure it is just use lots of lube take an enema and take it slow. Google is anal sex dangerous and you will get yes it is the butt was made for exit not entry the spincter can tear you could lose bowel control you could get infections .
> 
> People have to decide for thrmselves and no one should be pressured. I personally think every man who wants to stick it up a butt should get dildo shoved up his. With plenty of lube of lube of course.


If you got to a decent source, you will get the REAL risks

Anal Sex Safety and Health Concerns

It does not seem like those are hard to mitigate.


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## daffodilly (Oct 3, 2011)

NobodySpecial said:


> Why not just to please him? As long as it does not cause actual harm, I see nothing wrong with trying to please ones' spouse.


I don't either.....but in this particular act, if you are not comfortable with the idea or are resistant/afraid.....you're likely to be more tense which just makes it *that* much harder to perform, if you know what I mean.....potentially more painful. Anal is one thing the woman has to be totally relaxed to receive. It's a little different than say, role playing. So I think you're going to be more relaxed if it's something you also really want to try.

But otherwise, I'm always for trying to please one's spouse in the bedroom.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

NobodySpecial said:


> If you got to a decent source, you will get the REAL risks
> 
> Anal Sex Safety and Health Concerns
> 
> It does not seem like those are hard to mitigate.


Your link say "lube doesn't completely prevent tearing" It also says repetitive anal sex can lead to weakening of the anal scphinter but kegal exercises MAY prevent it (All caps mine). How would you mitigate that? Oh wait, Depends. No big deal, right?

If women want to go for it fine. But just know what you are risking. Every butt isn't built the same just as every vagina isn't. Some women may never be permanently damaged, and some may.


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## IPoH (Jul 31, 2012)

Lube is one of the most important factors and a lot of lubes dry out and get tacky, the best I've ever found is actually coconut oil, that healthy oil you should have in your kitchen. It's solid till about 75degrees so will stay liquid form on your body.
After over a decade of not wanting it and not enjoying it I am starting to feel some pleasure from it, though I haven't climaxed just from anal penetration it does make my clitoral orgasms stronger.

Best of luck!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TopsyTurvy5 (Nov 16, 2013)

committed4ever said:


> Depends on what you google. Google is anal sex safe and you will get sure it is just use lots of lube take an enema and take it slow. Google is anal sex dangerous and you will get yes it is the butt was made for exit not entry the spincter can tear you could lose bowel control you could get infections .
> 
> People have to decide for thrmselves and no one should be pressured. I personally think every man who wants to stick it up a butt should get dildo shoved up his. With plenty of lube of lube of course.


And women should have to experience what giving oral sex to a woman is like. Twenty minutes with your head ****ed forward, tonguing something until your mouth is numb while your partner continues to tell you, "Left, right, up, down....wait, stop, no go!" Oh, and of course, the smell that some women have. 

There is no equality. That's all I'm saying.


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## TopsyTurvy5 (Nov 16, 2013)

committed4ever said:


> Your link say "lube doesn't completely prevent tearing" It also says repetitive anal sex can lead to weakening of the anal scphinter but kegal exercises MAY prevent it (All caps mine). How would you mitigate that? Oh wait, Depends. No big deal, right?
> 
> If women want to go for it fine. But just know what you are risking. Every butt isn't built the same just as every vagina isn't. Some women may never be permanently damaged, and some may.


An ex-girlfriend has had a tear with vaginal sex, so should she stop having vaginal sex? 

There are literally pages of sites that say repeated NORMAL anal sex does NOT lead to a weakening of the anal sphincter. The only time that happens is with repeated, habitual use of extremely large objects being inserted into the anus very forcefully. Seriously, please do some research. 

Most of the time people can have anal sex without a risk of tearing, the people just need to be careful.


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## SolidSnake (Dec 6, 2011)

TopsyTurvy5 said:


> 1. More lube
> 2.Relax
> 3. More lube
> 4. Use fingers or a butt plug to help get ready
> ...


This is good advice.

And to anyone saying it can't be pleasureable for women, you have no idea what you are talking about.

Some women love anal. It's not just something we tolerate in order to please men. That is utter nonsense. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

"One of the major anatomical differences between you and your partner, is that you do not have nerve-endings in the right places to derive stimulatory pleasure from anal sex"

Quite possibly the biggest falsehood ever stated in the SIM section.


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## thummper (Dec 19, 2013)

Anal sex isn't for everybody. It can be very enjoyable for both partners, but if there is a lot of pain, it should be avoided. You really don't want to cause an injury to that part of the woman's body. I always enjoyed it very much because it was such a private thing between me and my wife, but I would never have done it if I knew it was painful or even uncomfortable for her.


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## catfan (Jan 12, 2013)

If someone is o.k. with anal sex it's fine I guess. But it seems to get to be the norm nowadays? In porn, in magazines, etc. It seems to be ' normal'. This has it's influence on me, wondering if I am supposed to try, even when I feel no desire, but just to be ' satisfying' in sex. And I surely wonder how the younger generation expects this to be a normal part of sex?


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I got sick of the inequality surrounding butt access so I stopped being ok with anal.If I can't play with yours,you can't play with mine. Get over it. 

Other than extreme things,this is about the only hard line I have sexually. I don't care if it makes me a prude or mean or a b*tch. If it's good enough to do to my body then it's good enough for me to do it to yours.


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## tornado (Jan 10, 2014)

*Re: Re: anal sex help*



ScarletBegonias said:


> I got sick of the inequality surrounding butt access so I stopped being ok with anal.If I can't play with yours,you can't play with mine. Get over it.
> 
> Other than extreme things,this is about the only hard line I have sexually. I don't care if it makes me a prude or mean or a b*tch. If it's good enough to do to my body then it's good enough for me to do it to yours.


Do you wanna play in your mans butt or is this just away to stay away from it all together?


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

tornado said:


> Do you wanna play in your mans butt or is this just away to stay away from it all together?


I'm not manipulative like that.If I wanted to stay away from it I would say that outright.

I'd like more opportunity to experiment with his body the way I've let him experiment with mine.I'm not looking to peg him...just to play a little


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## tornado (Jan 10, 2014)

*Re: Re: anal sex help*



ScarletBegonias said:


> I'm not manipulative like that.If I wanted to stay away from it I would say that outright.
> 
> I'd like more opportunity to experiment with his body the way I've let him experiment with mine.I'm not looking to peg him...just to play a little


That's fair IMO.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

NotTooSure said:


> After reading this I guess either my wife or I should be dead by now. If you are afraid of the clean factor then use a condom. Something up the ass can be incredible, I feel for the guys that have never experienced a prostate massage. So ya, it goes both ways.
> 
> If you fear anal intercourse you must completely freak out over analingus.


So just curious what size dildo do you take up your butt? Is it bigger or smaller than your johnson? Would you be okay with cucumber the size of your johnsons? What position is best for you? Can you orgasm from something shoved up your butt? 

I think the only people who would freak out from ananlingus are the ones who are asked to do it who don't want to, or if your partner tries to ever kiss you after sticking his tongue in your sh!thole. But I'm sure there are people who like the taste of butt too so whatever turns you on. I don't think you need to feel sorry for anyone who doesn't like it though.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

ScarletBegonias said:


> I got sick of the inequality surrounding butt access so I stopped being ok with anal.If I can't play with yours,you can't play with mine. Get over it.
> 
> Other than extreme things,this is about the only hard line I have sexually. I don't care if it makes me a prude or mean or a b*tch. If it's good enough to do to my body then it's good enough for me to do it to yours.


I understand where you are coming from. Not speaking about any ones marriage here, but it is portrayed as being more PC for a female to desire anal than a man. This makes it difficult for women who DON'T want it and men that DO want it, (receiving not giving).


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

TopsyTurvy5 said:


> And women should have to experience what giving oral sex to a woman is like. Twenty minutes with your head ****ed forward, tonguing something until your mouth is numb while your partner continues to tell you, "Left, right, up, down....wait, stop, no go!" Oh, and of course, the smell that some women have.
> 
> There is no equality. That's all I'm saying.


LOL! Now see that's just wrong! Maybe you should ask her to take a shower first? Whenever I ask my H to hop in the shower and give him a wink, his feelings not hurt! He knows its BJ time!

To be honest though I dont't like for my H to go down on me unless I have had a shower because I think about the smell too.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

TopsyTurvy5 said:


> And women should have to experience what giving oral sex to a woman is like. Twenty minutes with your head ****ed forward, tonguing something until your mouth is numb while your partner continues to tell you, "Left, right, up, down....wait, stop, no go!" Oh, and of course, the smell that some women have.
> 
> There is no equality. That's all I'm saying.


I've actually been there done that several times.It's not so terrible once your body gets used to being in that position.It's like any other thing we do that can become tiresome after a long period of time.
The key I found was to use my fingers for an extended time period THEN go down on her..and keep using your fingers while you're down there.Cuts down on face time tremendously.


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## TopsyTurvy5 (Nov 16, 2013)

ScarletBegonias said:


> I've actually been there done that several times.It's not so terrible once your body gets used to being in that position.It's like any other thing we do that can become tiresome after a long period of time.
> The key I found was to use my fingers for an extended time period THEN go down on her..and keep using your fingers while you're down there.Cuts down on face time tremendously.


Change a few things around and you basically described what anal sex can be like.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

Cosmos said:


> The pain you're experiencing is nature's way of alerting you to potentially damaging your body. Rather than trying to find ways to alleviate the pain, why not heed what your body is telling you and rather experiment with the countless other ways of having an exciting sex life?


Because she wants to have anal sex.


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## survived (Jan 31, 2014)

Yes lots of lube and when my wife and I do anal I also wear a condom. It is often very tight when I first go in but will get easier after a few "strokes". She says it hurts at first but the slight pain goes away quickly. But goodness it feels fantastic for us both, especially with her favorite sex toy vibrating in her "other spot"


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

ScarletBegonias said:


> I've actually been there done that several times.It's not so terrible once your body gets used to being in that position.It's like any other thing we do that can become tiresome after a long period of time.
> The key I found was to use my fingers for an extended time period THEN go down on her..and keep using your fingers while you're down there.Cuts down on face time tremendously.


That sounds like taking the fun out of it


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

My W always liked to be teased anally and one night she could not stand it any longer and told me to go for it. It was extremely hot and she loved it. When I got home the next day she told me that was never going to happen again. The "day after" effects were a bit to much for her to take. 

Rather than mope for the next 25 years we have learned to improvise and anal stimulation is something she loves but Jr. is never getting access again and that is ok. I cannot imagine her ever wanting to stimulate me anally but if she said that was a condition for me to continue that play with her I am all in my friends.


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## MeatTrain (Dec 4, 2013)

MagnificentEddy said:


> You need to understand that, as a woman, having anal sex makes about as much sense as getting a hair cut with a circular saw. It might be possible, but it's so dangerous, and the results are likely to be so poor, why would you even try?
> 
> Your poop-shute is designed to be a one-way street. With the exception of suppository medicines prescribed (and preferably administered) by a fully licensed medical professional, nothing should go up there.
> 
> ...


uhhh wow this reply lacks any sense...it would take a lot of work to rupture anything in that department. You sound crazy.

The lady just wants to have normal anal with her husband. Don't scare her with this nonsense. OP, just take your time, use lube, relax and again take as much time as you need. Once you're into it you'll for sure enjoy it. It's really not such a big deal. And if you find that you just don't like it I'm sure ur guy will understand and be appreciative of you even trying.


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## MeatTrain (Dec 4, 2013)

TopsyTurvy5 said:


> There are so many fallacies in your post, it is really difficult to know where to start.
> 
> 1.) Some/many who want to actually enjoy anal sex. To say it provides no pleasure as if it is a fact shows your blatant bias. (Religious, perhaps?)
> 
> ...


exactly!!


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

NotTooSure said:


> Lol. Cucumber?
> 
> My main point was that have been doing it for 15 years and neither of us have had health problems related to it. No condoms or dental dams, but do clean well prior. I do understand that everyone is different and just because we didn't doesn't mean others wont.
> 
> That one post had some serious fear mongering in it, I would be even concern about getting a colonoscopy.


Cucumber -- that's what I practiced on for bj's . Hey -- it worked! Too good! Since my H is the only man I have been with, I had some explaining to do about how the first one was so good! LOL!


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## omgitselaine (Sep 5, 2013)

Mrs. John Adams said:


> We have had anal sex...even to completion...but I will admit...I am not fond of it. I have used a butt plug and lots of lube...but it is still uncomfortable.
> 
> He knows I will do anything for him...and he says anal does not feel any different than vaginal to him...so he rarely asks for anal....and I am glad for that.


OMG and I always thought I was the only living woman who allowed this ............. who was NOT in the porn industry  ??? Thank you for sharing this ummmm side ( so to speak  ) of yourself Mrs Adams !


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## Jamestone (Mar 30, 2014)

What sucks is women that want discuss this topic with their partners. They just think its so terrible to even talk about. I mean you are married. There should be nothing he two of you cant discuss and share your thoughts about. I hate seeing people not even communicate with each other. Its amazing how just talking sometimes can cure so many issues.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## IPoH (Jul 31, 2012)

Not just talking, real communication requires listening and honest attempts at understanding to work. This subject was a matter of arguements on an almost weekly (at most monthly) basis. It is something of absolute importance to hubby and I was open to trying, until after a few attempts, I didn't ever want to try again. Let's just say we both entered the conversations with the mindset to change the others pov. We are beyond the arguements over this subject, though it's only recently (past few years) been something that I actually want to do with him to connect instead of something that I was just doing "for" him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jamestone (Mar 30, 2014)

Wow IPOH. Now thats what every guy dreams for. Not the sex act but that their wife is willing to be opena about anything and is actually wanting to try things like that for her own pleasure and self and not jist because they are doing for their partner. You just got mega respect from me with that kind of attitude and approach. Sendin you my wifes email. Please share your thoughts with her. LOL.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

needsomeadviceplease27 said:


> My husband and I have been trying to have anal sex but it hurts so badly when he tries to penetrate me. He can put his fingers in two of them fit fine with no pain, we took it slowly but every time it hurts. we use plenty of lube. so I guess I have a few questions. Am I ever going to be able to have anal?
> If so any advice?
> Will it be worth it? for me?
> thanks



If you want to try anal sex because the thought of it turns you on, then by all means read everything you can and give it a real go and take your time.

If you're only trying anal because you hubby wants it and you don't, then don't do anal.

If anal really hurts you, that's a big, anal isn't for you.


You can do so many other things besides anal, the sky is the limit.

- 69
- reverse cow girl
- oiled breast, hand and foot jobs
- doggie style, your legs together, his on the outside
- use toys on each other at the same time
- blind fold and tie him down
- spooning
- missionary, your legs together, he's in you and moves up and down, stimulating your clitoris while penetrating.
- surprise him before he goes to work, waiting for him in the shower
- dress up, cosplay, fantasies
- you can use food.....whipped cream, chocolate syrup, motion lotion
- you can spank each other
- he can give you oral while you use a vib on yourself at the same time


If anal sex doesn't really hurt you though, just initially uncomfortable, then its probably okay for you, but if it really hurts, nope, not happening and hubby has to understand this and now. Once tears happen, good luck going to the bathroom and ever having anal sex again.


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## omgitselaine (Sep 5, 2013)

Mrs. John Adams said:


> Elaine...I would also like to point out...mr adams is very well endowed...if you get my drift. It would be much easier if he had a smaller penis.


Really  dare I ask ??

I guess a few shots of herradura would come in handy as well  !!!


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## unsureanymore (Mar 31, 2014)

I didn't read everyone'st post but going to tell you what worked wonders for me. From a past partner, who knew what he was doing, and I had no clue, but I noticed and took note on how me made me sooo comfortable to enjoy and in love with it. 

Hopefully you like to drink, but sit down on the couch or bed and make it a romantic setting, light some candles. Me personally I drink shots and have chaser just to relax me....Foreplay...let him rub and kiss on you...use lots of lube...the less lube the more it will hurt...the more relaxed you are the better its going to feel to you...make him go slow.

Sex stores sell dvd's to help and you can go along with it...hope this helps!!


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

omgitselaine said:


> OMG and I always thought I was the only living woman who allowed this ............. who was NOT in the porn industry  ??? Thank you for sharing this ummmm side ( so to speak  ) of yourself Mrs Adams !


Nope.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Mrs. John Adams said:


> Elaine...I would also like to point out...mr adams is very well endowed...if you get my drift. It would be much easier if he had a smaller penis.


Yeah, I can relate to that. It just ain't gonna fit without a LOT of discomfort.


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

Hmmm.


Wife asks for it most of the time, so who am I to turn her down? She has had some very very very intense orgasms from it. Always in conjunction with a vibe to her sweet spot, but the anal action did intensify the end result. If it literally, takes several minutes to recover from an orgasm, it must have been pretty good. And I can assure you it wasn't from pain.

We have discussed the thought if maybe she might be able to orgasm by anal alone? Probably will try to find out at some point.

She and I just finished a new book. It was informative, but there was a lot of fluff in it. She has a few things planed that she wants to try. 


Arouse Her Anal Ecstasy - Revised: The Most Innovative Step-By-Step Guide for Pleasurable Anal Sex. She'll Enjoy Amazing Full-Body Orgasms!: David DeCitore: 9780983275565: Amazon.com: Books

It brings the importance of associating orgasm with anal play. It is a relaxation method.


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

larry.gray said:


> Yeah, I can relate to that. It just ain't gonna fit without a LOT of discomfort.


Kinda like fitting a 2x6 in a keyhole?
Don't even want to know how many times she has asked me if I would like to get beat with that thing. She still comes back to it though. It took quite a bit of practice to get where we are. Relaxation is key.


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## Fun_One (May 28, 2014)

The suggestions to use a butt plug first are spot on to success. Go slow and don't "force" it. If there's discomfort, go with a smaller plug and work your way up.


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