# No Sex since 3 months!



## kool_chick (May 14, 2012)

My husband and I have been married since 3 months and since our honeymoon we did not have sex. The last time I initiated it...We used to have a sex quite a lot b4 but now it has stopped completely!

It may be because am pregnant and he finds my body repulsive. he did say once that my breasts are not very nice now. He used to like them a lot but now they are very big (D cup) with large and dark nipples. I was quite slim wen we first met but now have put a lot because of the pregnancy. Not having sex and having to somehow beg 4 it affects my ego a lot making me feel unattractive.

I caught him on a porn website twice and don't know if he does it more often. He also gives all his affection to his dog  

I talked to him about that but he says that it's all in my head! but at the end of the day if it was then y we never have sex?


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Kool,

First, I want to say the most important thing is to take care of yourself and the baby.

I do agree that maybe he is a little put off by the pregnancy and you need to ask him that. Tell him how this makes you feel. You two should also consider counseling to help you to talk through this issue.

Good luck!


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## kool_chick (May 14, 2012)

thanks 4 the advice. Unfortunately he does not seem to think that there is a problem. When I kind of forced him to have sex one month after our wedding, I had a vaginal infection which is very common in pregnancy and he used that excuse 4 not having sex. My dr gave us a topical cream and it got better after 2 weeks. But after 2 months he still uses that excuse! He is tired all the time n sleeps on the couch in front of the tv so as not to disturb me. 

He is also attracted a lot to my sister n stares at her at her body a lot. This was b4 my pregnancy but i notice it more now


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## kool_chick (May 14, 2012)

He will never consider therapy as he doesnt think there is a problem.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Sometimes you need to push the issue. Tell him that you are concerned about your relationship and that you'd like the two of you to go to counseling because you want to grow old with him and you're afraid that you're already drifting apart. Let him pick the counselor too

also he may be dealing with depression (sleeping alot)


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## whatsup (May 7, 2012)

maybe he's terrified about being a father - or has some anxiety with regards to it. honestly I think pregnant women are hot  and i know a lot of other guys don't think they look bad either.


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## frustr8dhubby (Dec 23, 2010)

I think women are sexy when they are pregnant but I know that there are guys that do get turned off by it. Could also be the fear of commitment/fatherhood.

You have to get him to open up somehow, counseling or otherwise...


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

I know it is hard to feel rejected by your spouse. Just try and keep in mind that far more than likely as soon as the pregnancy is over things will soon after return to normal.

Still is he concerned about hurting the baby? Some men have that phobia? Is he concerned about crushing the baby if he's on top (I'd recommend you be on top or side by side while pregnant)?


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Yes a lot of men are freaked out about the baby hearing it, feeling it, or hurting the baby. Maybe ask him if that's it? You could do other things too. 
Did you mean to get pregnant or did you get pregnant and then get married after you found out?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## kool_chick (May 14, 2012)

diwali123 said:


> Yes a lot of men are freaked out about the baby hearing it, feeling it, or hurting the baby. Maybe ask him if that's it? You could do other things too.
> Did you mean to get pregnant or did you get pregnant and then get married after you found out?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Ok will ask him if that's it. Dont think it's that since am only 5 months pregnant and not that big. I kind of forced him once with me on top but he said I hurt him as i was too aggressive and he didnt enjoy it :-( 

we have been together for 5 years. when we found out that i was pregnant we had already followed some pre-marital courses as we are both catholics. but i guess having the baby accelerated things....


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## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

It could be many things. I would not worry about it too much at this point. Your "condition" (if you will) is temporary. 

Now, when my ex was pregnant with our son, I had no reservations about lovemaking. I thought she was just as beautiful if not moreso than before. The one thing that did turn me off though was she became hyper sexual for a while (a month or so), and would get mad if I wasn't in the mood. I mean MAD. Pouting, insecurity, anger. This from a woman who I'd already had intimacy issues with before this. I thought "shoe, meet the other foot!". And it upset me that the first couple times it happened, she was nowhere near as understanding of my momentary lack of desire due to a hard day's work or whatnot as I was of her continual lack of desire before she was pregnant and going through this hormonal phase. That really burned my butt.


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## kool_chick (May 14, 2012)

donny64 said:


> It could be many things. I would not worry about it too much at this point. Your "condition" (if you will) is temporary.
> 
> Now, when my ex was pregnant with our son, I had no reservations about lovemaking. I thought she was just as beautiful if not moreso than before. The one thing that did turn me off though was she became hyper sexual for a while (a month or so), and would get mad if I wasn't in the mood. I mean MAD. Pouting, insecurity, anger. This from a woman who I'd already had intimacy issues with before this. I thought "shoe, meet the other foot!". And it upset me that the first couple times it happened, she was nowhere near as understanding of my momentary lack of desire due to a hard day's work or whatnot as I was of her continual lack of desire before she was pregnant and going through this hormonal phase. That really burned my butt.


Thanks  Just hope it will improve as it affects me as a woman. And it hurts when he looks @ other women. He has a thing 4 my younger sister n seems in awe in front of her...that really upsets me esp now am pregnant. She is prettier than me but i wud expect my husband not 2 lust after my own sister. Another woman wud be more acceptable!


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## frustr8dhubby (Dec 23, 2010)

He shouldn't be "lusting" after anyone right now, WTF?? I'm as much or more of a perv than most men but that is just plain wrong...

Cripes you are pretty much newlyweds and you are pregnant.


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## Aristotle (Apr 4, 2012)

Sex during my wifes pregnancy(s) was the best sex we have ever had.


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

kool_chick said:


> Ok will ask him if that's it. Dont think it's that since am only 5 months pregnant and not that big. I kind of forced him once with me on top but he said I hurt him as i was too aggressive and he didnt enjoy it :-(
> 
> we have been together for 5 years. when we found out that i was pregnant we had already followed some pre-marital courses as we are both catholics. but i guess having the baby accelerated things....


I've heard of people having guilt over premarital sex, depending on how observant he would like to perceive himself as being.


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## kool_chick (May 14, 2012)

frustr8dhubby said:


> He shouldn't be "lusting" after anyone right now, WTF?? I'm as much or more of a perv than most men but that is just plain wrong...
> 
> Cripes you are pretty much newlyweds and you are pregnant.


Yes I know. I cry when I get back home when he has stared @ her 2 much. I caught him even b4 we were pregnant looking @ her butt n her cleavage n when i confronted him, he said i was being paranoid n i don't know where is looking! I had other exes b4 who also met my sis but there was never this situation. I tell him off every time we meet her but he shrugs it off n it pisses me off that he denies it. Once during my 2nd month pregnancy my sis came 2 visit us with my niece n when my sister asked if i or he wanted some biscuits she brought, he said no, that he "wanted wot she had in her hand" which was her dinner home. he said "me, i want this". It was bizarre - almost sexual as his tone was high pitched when he talked. in french it sounds more sexual "moi j'ai envie de ca.."...Maybe am imagining things but i have another younger sister n he is not like that with her. He enjoys talking to this one A LOT n always notices wot she says and wot she does. 

it's very very depressive 4 me n once i cried n cried after i analysed all that. we went at a party n i was next to him n he was watching her dance n wen i turned to look @ him he closed his eyes n pretended 2 sleep...My sister walked over straight to him n looked at him in his eyes n ignored me n asked him if he has cigarettes! think it perturbed him a lot n when he dig in his pockets for cigarettes he fell off the plastic chair n said the leg was broken. that was very strange. anyway i left them n went to dance with my niece. i saw that my sister was sitting smoking her cig n he went at the back as if he was ashamed of himself....

i really don't know wot to make of it 
i have a dinner this wee n i don't feel like going as am sure the same thing will happen. i dreamt once that they were having sex and once that my sister was kissing him on the neck...if my sister wanted him am sure he wud go n leave me. i asked him n he said no of course.


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## kool_chick (May 14, 2012)

michzz said:


> Is it possible that you are overreacting and seeing things that are not so?
> 
> Please, and don't get defensive at the question.
> 
> ...


Thanks  I really hope it is my pregnancy brain making me see things worse...I will try 2 focus on the baby and myself and forget about him. If he doesnt want to have sex, well too bad 4 him. I will masturbate  Just joking!


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

Last time for us was weekend before Valentines Day ------->and YES men keep track when it's that infrequent.


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## frustr8dhubby (Dec 23, 2010)

kool_chick said:


> Thanks  I really hope it is my pregnancy brain making me see things worse...I will try 2 focus on the baby and myself and forget about him. If he doesnt want to have sex, well too bad 4 him. I will masturbate  Just joking!


Why just joking? That is perfectly healthy.


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## The Renegade (May 16, 2012)

Did you do it often before you were pregnant? Or was it also quite infrequent then?


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## kool_chick (May 14, 2012)

The Renegade said:


> Did you do it often before you were pregnant? Or was it also quite infrequent then?


In the first years it was quite frequent and could be two or three times in a day during week ends. Afterwards it slowed down a bit as I had my studies and we did not live in the same house....but it was at least once per month. I was also tired at times and not in the mood n that used to make him angry! Now it is my turn but i dont express my anger...

I guess i could get him to have sex if i start things but i wanna see how long he will stay like this. and he says he doesnt masturbate so...He used to have a very good sex drive b4.

i asked him y he doenst wanna sleep with me and if it's 1. bkuz hez afraid of hurting de baby 2. he does not feel attracted to my pregnant body 3) he has another woman in mind. 

He replied that i am crazy and that when he wanted to do it, i didnt want to! I cant recall that at all! He didnt make any strong attempt or i wud have jumped on the occasion  he also says i am tired all the time etc.....i may b tired as i need to cook at times and after i leave the gym. But for romance i wudnt be tired. he never offered to massage my whole body also....i think he is in denial.


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## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

I would not get too concerned about being unattractive because of your expanding belly. I really don't know that many guys who are in love with someone who that would bother. In fact, your avatar is pretty darn sexy to me. When my ex was pregnant, I never felt, not a single time, like "oh my god, she's HUGE". It was a complete non-factor, and in fact was a bit of a turn on to make love with the mother of my child. I thought she was beautiful. I really did. The closeness I felt making love to her during that time surpassed anything we'd done previously. Maybe it's just me, and the guys can chime in, but your body being "big" right now I would think is certainly not an issue. So don't make it one in your head if it's not so. And besides, even were it so, it's temporary!


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## The Renegade (May 16, 2012)

I don't think he's in denial. He's fully aware of what he does. I suspect he also masturbates daily (or more), thinking of your sister and other women, but he would, of course, never let you know about it, because he feels embarrassed and guilty about it, plus it would kill a lot of his excuses. 
I hate to say that, but I'm pretty sure it won't change once the baby's out. It just gives him another excuse why you both are too busy now.
To me, as a man, it is fact. He is not sexually attracted to you anymore. And it won't change by itself. You can do things to pull him back and it will have a lot to do with some juggling between appreciating him as a MAN, skillful withdrawals and sexy playfulness. 
I really wish for you to have the energy for that after the baby is born.


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## Aaliyah1 (May 16, 2012)

be cool...you may wait for proper time and I'm sure it will be good for you.

hope you will have better sex life soom.

good luck!


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## saint_kevin (May 17, 2012)

I think I will be worry of hurting or shaking the baby too much. When we are in ecstasy, we tend to forget and carried away.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

There's nothing quite as beautiful as a pregnant wife (to me, anyway). Not to be indelicate, but is this pregnancy something your husband really wanted?


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

KC,
It really isn't ok that he is cutting you off. And since you are frustrated ALL of his limited sexual energy needs to go towards you. And that means NO PORN until you two aer back on a s




kool_chick said:


> My husband and I have been married since 3 months and since our honeymoon we did not have sex. The last time I initiated it...We used to have a sex quite a lot b4 but now it has stopped completely!
> 
> It may be because am pregnant and he finds my body repulsive. he did say once that my breasts are not very nice now. He used to like them a lot but now they are very big (D cup) with large and dark nipples. I was quite slim wen we first met but now have put a lot because of the pregnancy. Not having sex and having to somehow beg 4 it affects my ego a lot making me feel unattractive.
> 
> ...


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