# In need of a males perspective



## BrokenQueen (Jan 10, 2011)

My husband has pointed out that we fight all the time because I'm the one always with a problem. I always have a problem with is interactions and relationships with women and in his opinion it's because I am jealous and insecure. And his only problem is with me-- I want to control him.

I may be jealous and I am insecure. 
1.Since we started dating in 1999 he cheated on my with my ex-boyfriends current girlfriend at the time
2.He broke up with me when I got married, keep me around while lying about the relationships he had with other women at the time. (He slept with me and other women... I didn't know he was sleeping around and I shouldn't be upset since at the time I wasn't his girlfriend... just his pregnant ex-girlfriend)
3.After we finally did get married he still talked to females behind my back since he know I would have a problem with it if I knew. These women included his ex's, new friends and even co-workers.
4. He does favors for he's female friends that I know of but have no personal relationship with.
5. He has and will continue to have relationship with females that don't even like me let alone try to be "cool" with me since I am his wife.

At this point I feel like the fool... I've obviously been with a man who has shown me that while he wants to be married he also want to have relationships with women on the side (as long as sex isn't included it should be okay). 

Am I the dummy for staying?


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## chefmaster (Oct 30, 2010)

BrokenQueen said:


> My husband has pointed out that we fight all the time because I'm the one always with a problem. I always have a problem with is interactions and relationships with women and in his opinion it's because I am jealous and insecure. And his only problem is with me-- I want to control him.
> 
> I may be jealous and I am insecure.
> 1.Since we started dating in 1999 he cheated on my with my ex-boyfriends current girlfriend at the time
> ...


If I understand you right, he has not cheated on you since you've been married?

If that's right then I would say no, you aren't the dummy for sticking around.

You have every right to be upset about him not telling you when he's spending time with women outside of work.

You also have to be able to spend time around friends with him who are female. Can you do that? Or is it only him spending time with women when he is away from you that bothers you?


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## MAdadof1 (Jan 10, 2011)

Just my opinion, but... he is cheating on your, and you have every right to 'have a problem with that'. It doesn't mean it's your problem, it's his problem. But, putting up with it is your problem.


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## BrokenQueen (Jan 10, 2011)

No he hasn't had sex with another woman since we have been married.

He has carried on relationships for months with females were he is calling them and texting them all times of the night.. and these women have had sex with him in the past.

It's not that I cannot spend time with them... the problem is the women do care to spend time with me and the times they are spending together ends up being times when I cannot come for some reason or another.


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## MAdadof1 (Jan 10, 2011)

BrokenQueen said:


> No he hasn't had sex with another woman since we have been married.
> 
> He has carried on relationships for months with females were he is calling them and texting them all times of the night.. and these women have had sex with him in the past.
> 
> It's not that I cannot spend time with them... the problem is the women do care to spend time with me and the times they are spending together ends up being times when I cannot come for some reason or another.


Um... not sure how to put this delicately, but if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck...

What makes you think he isn't sleeping with them? Even if he isn't , there is such a thing as an "emotional affair", just google it.


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