# I don't know hoe to be single???



## lonely_wife (Sep 28, 2008)

I made the desicion to get divoced and it is the right one! I do not love my husband that is the 1 thing I am sure of....however I have never been "single" and don't know what to do? 
I go out with friends have a dance thats all good..I spend my days with my daugjhter shopping, movies, etc..thats good too. But I always have "had a boy" with me so now I havn't got a boyfriend my life doesn't feel right? will this feeling go away? I have had 2 friends who i text alot and met up with a few times and that was oK - I don't really want a "proper" relationship again at the moment as it scares me - dating scares me.
I also find all the men can tell that i am loney - even tho I come accross very strong and independent and they soon start talking sex..I make it quite clear that will not happen for a while but they then run!!!
Can you tell me how single people act please...I havn't got a clue! I spend so long I facebook my eyes hurt lol


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

when i have been on my own , i actually enjoy it.
but you have to like yourself. thats what i found n e way;
i like my own company. 
if your strong and independent you can do it.
i have my own hobbies and the children keep me busy and working.
i think also the key here is keeping busy and just enjoy being you.
you have to try to change your own boundaries to feel comfortable with who you are and being single again. 
i have acted no differently to you in terms of the mates and chatting, going out movies, having a dance.


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## Guest (Nov 2, 2008)




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## lonely_wife (Sep 28, 2008)

thanks for the imput.... Its not that I don't want sex or that they can't have it at all, I would just like to feel that isn't all there after...like maybe 2 dates first instead of trying it on in the first half hour lol


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## stumped (May 16, 2008)

I am in kinda the same boat.....I was single for about 8 months (after a 3 year relationship) when I met my husband whom I was with for 10 years. Now I find myself 31 (when the hell did that happen) and not really sure how the whole dating thing works and also where you actually meet quality people. It seems that things have changed quite a bit in 10 years.....communicating has been reduced to text messages. Who can SERIOUSLY communicate in a text message. 
I am one of the most open and honest people out there (sometimes I think its a character flaw more than a good trait) but it is really hard to tell sometimes when you are getting fed a load of crap. Are men actually being sincere in what they are saying or is it an attempt to get in your pants? 
If sex is not the goal (cause its already happened) are they being sincere or are they just saying it to ensure more sex???


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## lonely_wife (Sep 28, 2008)

I have only met players...and some were really good at it!! I have never been a trusting person and usually am good at spotting them but recently I seen to let my guard down and whoosh too late...luckily I never slept with them tho so that was something.


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## butazez (Aug 19, 2008)

Just to be the devil's advocate, don't you think that "players" should be the one you should be dating right about now?

Think of it this way: do you really think you'd be ready for a serious relationship considering you just became single again? Unless some time has passed, I'm pretty sure the relationship you'll get will be considered a "rebound" relationship, which is not ideal, from what I hear.

Flirt away, but be responsible. Most of all, have fun. If it stops being fun, then what's the point.


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## lonely_wife (Sep 28, 2008)

that is another way of thinking I suppose? just never been one for casual relationships and I do attched real easy...expecially at the moment...you are right so I'm gona let my guard down and enjoy


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

stumped said:


> I am in kinda the same boat.....I was single for about 8 months (after a 3 year relationship) when I met my husband whom I was with for 10 years. Now I find myself 31 (when the hell did that happen) and not really sure how the whole dating thing works and also where you actually meet quality people. It seems that things have changed quite a bit in 10 years.....communicating has been reduced to text messages. Who can SERIOUSLY communicate in a text message.
> I am one of the most open and honest people out there (sometimes I think its a character flaw more than a good trait) but it is really hard to tell sometimes when you are getting fed a load of crap. Are men actually being sincere in what they are saying or is it an attempt to get in your pants?
> If sex is not the goal (cause its already happened) are they being sincere or are they just saying it to ensure more sex???


I really see your point. Picture being married for 22 years and having to start over again! It is scary!

Someone told me to sign up for a dance class at one of the new dance clubs that are opening up. It seems the "new" style ballroom dance classes are getting to be the rage. It allows you to learn something new, socialize and have fun. That's more appealing to me than just hanging out at a bar. Has anyone else tried that?!


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