# confused



## anonymous_az (Jun 22, 2015)

Sorry if this is long I am venting... 


Okay, so where do I begin, well we've been together going on 4years now, so much has gone wrong over the years, from me talking to an ex, to him trying to talk to other girls, I've tried to cheat out of spite of him talking to those girls, we've both laid hands on each other, gotten our daughter taken away because of it, despite it all we managed to get through it together with marriage counseling, things slowly started to get better then after marriage counseling was over it started to go down hill again, where we can't even be comfortable enough to even ask to hang out with friends in fear of the other persons reaction, can't really hold a conversation in fear of whether it will lead into an argument, for the last 4-5 months every week there has been an argument, I feel like I don't have his attention or interest anymore, I've tried leaving, but really have no where to go . I don't know what to do, I can't sleep at night stressing if one day I should just leave or If he will throw me out. I love him he's a great dad and partner when he really wants to be. So any married or divorced couples out there that may have a say??


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## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

Work on your own issues, and make sure you can be okay if the marriage dissolves.

Therapy for yourself first. Your change may affect change in him, and if not, then you will have the skills and tools to find another partner who is more compatible.

Also, you both are responsible for the stable environment that your child lives in. The more stable, the more likely she will be mentally healthier. If that means separation, that need should always come first.

In the mean time, learn how to use breathing exercise, and learn to disengage from a toxic situation.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

anonymous_az said:


> I love him *he's a great dad and partner* when he really wants to be.


Are you sure about this?

Great dad's and great partners don't get into physical altercations with their wife and have their children *taken away from them.*

Your relationship sounds quite toxic. You need to figure out an exit strategy.


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## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

Get into counceling and start focusing on you. It sounds like the start of this was you bringing your x into your marriage. Hopefully you wont make that mistake in your next relationship. I think you should try to sit down and talk to him about this calmly. If you cant reach him at all then the others are right its time to start planning your exit. 

So many marriages are screwed up over people cheating. Its just so sad to see. 

Clay


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