# My ex husband gave me a STD and now I can not have children. D



## WWP14 (May 9, 2014)

I went to the doctor and after having a HSG found out that I had a std (CH) and found out my tubes were scarred. Before the divorce and I went to my doctor my ex asked can you tell how long has she had it. The reason for the divorce is that my ex left me for a woman he was having an affair with. I know it is 8 mos, but I want to have children and now I can not. I have inflammatory disease from the std and I am so depressed. How can I get over this. I want children and I respected us not to do that to him. Why would you do that to your wife? Then not tell her. Has anyone else experienced this? Or any advice would be great. I hate myself for what has happened and what is worse is my ex-husband tried to turn it back on me saying how did he know I did not sleep around on him. Please give me so encouragement.


----------



## Nikita2270 (Mar 22, 2014)

I don't really have any advice but I'm sure some other women who've had infertility issues do.

But I do want to say that I'm very, very sorry. Its terrible that this has happened to you and you have my sincerest sympathies. I will send my best wishes your way...I truly hope that you're able to heal from this and continue on with a happier life.


----------



## sh987 (Oct 10, 2013)

My wife and I just read your story together. We are both so sorry to hear that this has happened to you (she said "Prick!"). You don't deserve it in any way. I wish I could offer some sort of profound advice to help you move on, but I can't.

I can just give you my deepest sympathy.


----------



## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

I'm really sorry to hear about what happened and know it must be tough. All I can say is that holding on to the anger and hurt won't help you in any way. Know that you can have children in other ways(IVF, surrogate, etc), even if it's not what you pictured. You should go through the grieving process to let go of what you thought would happen for having children and then forgive. Forgiveness does not mean what he did was okay(not even remotely), but it means that you have a clean heart. You can slowly let go of the pain and anger to move on to your new life.


----------



## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

I have nothing. ****ty. Just ****ty. I am sorry.


----------



## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Well sorry you are in this dreadful position., you can't reverse the hands of time.
The risk of STD's is one of the main problems with cheating and multiple sex partners.
Whilst he's happily spreading his stds out there you're here feeling sorry for yourself.
But don't let him off the hook so easily.

Find out the name of the woman your husband is presently dating and tell her that he gave you an STD.


Tell her she needs to be careful of him and get tested.

If you know any other women he's been involved with, then contact them and tell them they need to get themselves checked.


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Just read this to Mrs. Gus. We both want to kick his @$$. *And* sue the shirt off his back.

It's beyond sh*tty that you have to live w/ the consequences of his infidelity.

Keep talking to your docs. They may be able to do something for you.

So sorry that you're here. I feel so badly for you.


----------



## WWP14 (May 9, 2014)

Thank you guys. It hurts so bad. I always thought if you are faithful and true that your spouse would do the same. But that is NOT the case. I love kids and have always wanted to have some. The day I found out was devastating. What hurts more is that I will always have this PID no matter what. He has moved on to the next one and I am suffering with this mistake he left me with.


----------



## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

WWP14 said:


> Thank you guys. It hurts so bad. *I always thought if you are faithful and true that your spouse would do the same. But that is NOT the case*. I love kids and have always wanted to have some. The day I found out was devastating. What hurts more is that I will always have this PID no matter what. He has moved on to the next one and I am suffering with this mistake he left me with.


Unfortunately many have learned that lesson here. Sorry you had to come to TAM but welcome aboard


----------



## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

CH means Chlamydia? Your ex is a tool anyone who "cheats" and I know this will sound tacky, but does care for his family wears protection, get's checked for STDs both sides, and does the prework.

If it was Chlamydia gosh that's such a shame because it's so easy to treat. 1 pill and it's gone 98% of the time ;( if he was smart he would taken one himself and slipped one to you in a smoothie all fixed.

Sorry you must have had it for a very long time because that is super rare!!

I know I'll get slammed for this post btw I never said I believe in the above, but would have been a easy fix.


----------



## WWP14 (May 9, 2014)

Yes, it was and yes found out it was easy to fix. That really hurts. Even if I was to tell the new girl she would not believe me. They bought a new house and are living in his home town. He lied so much that is where he ran and they live together. I have a lot of anger. He did this and left me with a crap ton of bills that I am going to have to pay. And stole the money. I just cannot believe GOD allows someone so diabolical to continue on doing better and leave this type of carnage around. To forgive is something I can not do but moving on will. But to forgive someone who totally destroyed you life. Not sure about that. What kind of man would run home when all his friends are in Virginia and start life there and leave carnage behind. I had no where to run to I had to stay and see it through. I am a coward.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

WWP14 said:


> Thank you guys. It hurts so bad. I always thought if you are faithful and true that your spouse would do the same. But that is NOT the case. I love kids and have always wanted to have some. The day I found out was devastating. What hurts more is that I will always have this PID no matter what. He has moved on to the next one and I am suffering with this mistake he left me with.


Your husband and the OW deserve to end up spending eternity in a special corner of hell.

I too was unable to have children due to infection (not from STD). But the affect was the same. 

You can still have children. You can adopt. I to love children and ended up adopting a baby. There is no difference in the love and attachment that exists with an adopted child and with a biological child.


----------



## WWP14 (May 9, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> Your husband and the OW deserve to end up spending eternity in a special corner of hell.
> 
> I too was unable to have children due to infection (not from STD). But the affect was the same.
> 
> You can still have children. You can adopt. I to love children and ended up adopting a baby. There is no difference in the love and attachment that exists with an adopted child and with a biological child.


We spoke before about that. I just came from the doctor today and was diagnosed with PID that is where all the pain was coming from. I just felt like a fool. I have a big heart and I love children and I felt like maybe it is too late. To me he got away with murder and nothing has happened no accountability. Now I have to get treated and deal with this pain for the rest of my life. It hurts.


----------



## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Ugh I want to beat the sh!t out of him.
So sorry.


----------



## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

tom67 said:


> Ugh I want to beat the sh!t out of him.
> So sorry.


WWP14 your story brough tears to my eyes, I am so sorry.
You have a lot of love to give, I hope after you find some healing that you will find a worthy place to give it. You have a purpose in this world.

Take care!


----------



## Cloaked (Sep 15, 2013)

He should be put on cheaterville. So others know he is a biological risk.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Cloaked said:


> He should be put on cheaterville. *So others know he is a biological risk.*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:iagree:


----------



## WWP14 (May 9, 2014)

Thank you guys for all the encouragement. I was just hurting. There is NO amount of words to explain the hurt I feel.


----------



## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> Just read this to Mrs. Gus. We both want to kick his @$$. *And* sue the shirt off his back.
> 
> It's beyond sh*tty that you have to live w/ the consequences of his infidelity.
> 
> ...


Absolutely sue. I'd try to prove that he cheated. If you can prove you did not have any STDs prior to marriage and then take a lie detector test and prove you did not cheat, and get a court order to force him to be tested (and maybe the girlfriend).

You can sue him for the attorneys fees/costs of court, pain and suffering, loss of children (loss of consortion [with your future kids] is a stretch but maybe?), and possible even a medical procedure to remove scar tissue and try to restore reproductive function or make him pay you the cost for so many rounds of IVF assuming they can harvest your eggs and your uterus can still carry a baby.

Remember, it's a civil suit so you only have to prove beyond a preponderance of the evidence, not beyond a doubt. You have plenty of evidence with the above.

I'm sorry for everything he put you through.


----------

