# Hate When Guys Start at My Fiancee



## JimJ (Jul 26, 2013)

Does anyone else have this problem with their ladies?

In my eyes, my fiancee is super attractive. She is thin with DDs, super curvy, really nice body and face. She must be attractive in everyone else's eyes too because men are constantly STARING at her like they have never seen a woman before. One time, she came out wearing baggy old jeans, no make up, her hair in a ponytail and a men's T-shirt. We went to the store and two women walked by with dresses and heels and full make up. These guys ignored them to stare at my fiancee, even though she was dressed down. 

She is getting really frustrated with me because I don't want to go out with her anymore anywhere. We haven't gone out to eat or anywhere social in over a year. She loves the beach, and I haven't taken her in 3 years.

I just can't stand the staring. When we do go out like to the grocery store or something, I beg her to wear a baseball hat and baggy, attention detracting clothes so other guys won't stare at her. She is mad at me because she wants to dress up and go to the beach in her bikini or wear cute dresses or skirts, but she doesn't understand that would be a NIGHTMARE for me. She keeps saying she just wants to dress and act like a normal woman in her 20s, but I don't think her body is very "normal." 

I don't get why men can't just glance and why they have to stare. Why can't guys be more respectful of my relationship when it's clear she's taken? I feel like I'm going to get into a fight one of these days with some punk that is starting at her with his mouth open or saying things to her, which has happened.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I'm sorry but you sound like you have a serious problem.

You need to get into counseling to figure out why you are so insecure. 

What comes to mind is that the only thing that will make you feel safe is if you can get her to wear a burka. 

What you are doing to her is a form of abuse really. You are pushing her to dress down, look less than her best and hide her self when in public. This is not healthy at all.


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## barbados (Aug 30, 2012)

You are obviously very insecure. This controlling behavior will just make her leave you, so your actions are having the opposite effect of what you want.

If you date a hot girl, other guys are gonna stare. Fact of life. Learn to deal with it or this relationship is doomed.


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## lovelypeonies18 (Jul 26, 2013)

Guys can be very territorial. I can see where you are coming from. But you can't go to this extent. Jealousy is natural so is being protective so she isn't disrecpected. But doing what your Doing. Is going to drive her away. Both males and females like to be looked at. Not to actually be chased. But the glance or feature is nice. To know people think your attractive. Anybody likes the self esteem boost. So for you to tell her to cover up. Is basically saying her ugly. And nobody wants to go out looking ugly. Face it. Your with a naturally gorgeous woman and if you noticed it other will too. Whether she has makeup on or hair done. She is always going to be attractive with natural features. 


So when your out make it known she is with you , feel happy the person you love that everyone else seems to also wants loves you. And seem confident about it. Or she will begin to notice your being too aggressive , too territorial, and lead to insecurity. 
It won't drive the jealousy away. But learn to control it. She most likey wants to feel attractive. And you telling her to put a cap on. I'm guessing wouldn't make her feel very good. 

People are goin to look. Whether you are there or not. Glances - have to learn to live with them - now when they get distectful and rude. Thennnn she will want protection. But don't hover so much. You will smother her.
PS 
Take the lady to a dinner or the beach. Try to ignore the eyes. You can't avoid going out in public with her forever. And you not going out with her isn't going to help the way she feels 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## biola (Dec 28, 2012)

Dude,women are designed to be attractive so that they get the attention of the best possible mate to nurture their emotional needs.Telling her not to dress fashionably can come across as a liitle controlling and may breed resentment down the road.So what's a man to do? First of all its not her fault she was genetically blessed.Afterall that s one of the reasons why you are with her,am I correct? Is she flirtatious with other men?Does she purposefully dress provocatively? If the answers to these are NO then you need to introspectively ask yourself'why am I jealous'?,"why do feel insecure if she done anything to warrant it"?You will get to the root bottom of it!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## biola (Dec 28, 2012)

Afterall ,of all the other 'gawkers' she chose you!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bailingout (Jan 25, 2013)

Please consider some sort of counseling so you can gain some control of yourself. 

You may want to start with getting to the root of your jealousy and insecurities and accept that you cannot control the fact that other men stare at your fiancee. 

This other issue you posted about may just be the start of some serious problems you will encounter in your life if you don't get some help.

Good luck Jim.



JimJ said:


> I'll try to make this as short as possible. My fiancee and I have been together for 4 years. We got engaged over two years ago, but we have both been under a lot of financial stress so we put off the wedding. To add to our stress, my fiancee's mother has fallen seriously ill with cancer.
> 
> For the last year or so, we have been fighting a lot. My fiancee is naturally a loud person. When I say "loud" I don't mean she screams or throws fits. She just naturally projects her voice, and it can get shrill and carry a lot, especially if she's angry or upset. Because of her loudness, our neighbors have always heard our fights and it has been a huge source of embarrassment for me since I'm naturally a quiet person. I was friends with out last landlord, which was a good thing because we got a few noise complaints for our fighting and probably would have gotten kicked out if I wasn't friends with him.
> 
> ...


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Ok... So your first post was about you physically abusing your fiancée (http://talkaboutmarriage.com/genera...-i-did-bad-thing-now-i-dont-know-how-fix.html). Your next post is about your extreme jealousy and controlling ways, which will drive many women away. It's also another big red warning flag. 

Dude, you need to get help. Soon. And if not for this relationship (in your other post you say that she wants to end things), then for the next one. If my daughter wanted to date someone like you, I'd do everything in my power to keep her away from you. Not because I have anything against you, but to protect her from a lifetime of hurt.

Get help. However you need to. Find some sliding scale help. Find some public service help. Get books out of the library. Posting in here is a sign that you're looking for help, which is a really good start. But you really need to make it a priority.

C


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## Convection (Apr 20, 2013)

JimJ said:


> I feel like I'm going to get into a fight one of these days with some punk that is starting at her with his mouth open or saying things to her, *which has happened.*


I see. Here is what you you wrote in your post in General Forum:



JimJ said:


> Before I could even rationally think about it, I slapped her across the face. It wasn't hard enough to leave a bruise or anything, but there was a red mark that faded after a few minutes.
> 
> Instead of being quiet, she looked stunned for a second and then started crying hysterically like she was in shock. I then lost it again, and grabbed her by the throat and covered her mouth with my hand, trying to get her to be quiet so my family didn't hear. In the process, she fell backwards and smacked her head on a wooden desk in the room.


In both posts, you rationalize why your violence was acceptable - explicitly in that post, implicitly here.

I'll tell you this from the perspective of a guy with a volatile temper: you have a *serious* anger management problem and need to get some help for it. I know you said you were in bad financial straits but Angelpixie and PBear pointed out a way forward. You better figure something out, because the way this is headed, you are going to end up without a fiancee, or in jail, or both.

As far as this post, guys stare at your girl - and this makes you insecure. Why? Unless she reciprocates or has cheated on you in the past, this all comes down to a lack of self-confidence on your part. Probably the same reason you feel the need to lash out physically. Someone who has healthy self-esteem not only wouldn't be overly perturbed by this, they also wouldn't feel the need to try and control their partner's dress, or feel burning jealousy over it.

In other words, you are 30 years old physically. Time to catch up emotionally. Grow up, before you do lose everything.


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## nogutsnoglory (Jan 17, 2013)

JimJ said:


> Does anyone else have this problem with their ladies?
> 
> In my eyes, my fiancee is super attractive. She is thin with DDs, super curvy, really nice body and face. She must be attractive in everyone else's eyes too because men are constantly STARING at her like they have never seen a woman before. One time, she came out wearing baggy old jeans, no make up, her hair in a ponytail and a men's T-shirt. We went to the store and two women walked by with dresses and heels and full make up. These guys ignored them to stare at my fiancee, even though she was dressed down.
> 
> ...


control yourself. You are controlling and insecure. You need help. Therapy is necessary. She is pretty and you make her feel guilty for it. She will leave you and you know it and it scares you and you put this on her as her fault and you have hit her once already. You say you wont again but I believe you will. It is your insecurity that has fueled your new found anger toward her and this caused you to get violent. As your insecurity grows and further damages your relationship you will get more angry and more violence will surface. Your insecurities do not make you weak or bad but your violence toward a woman make you a criminal. Get help now.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Abusive AND controlling.I think maybe she should be a member here asking for help on how to leave you.


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## LanieB (Jan 22, 2013)

Dear JimJ's girlfriend:

If you are chained in JimJ's basement, blink once for yes, twice for no, and I will send help. 

Lanie


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## barbados (Aug 30, 2012)

Just realized you are the guy from another thread that admitted to hitting her. So if that's true and this thread is true, you have a real problem.

Otherwise perhaps both threads should be reported to the mods as possible false.


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## tulsy (Nov 30, 2012)

JimJ said:


> Does anyone else have this problem with their ladies?
> 
> In my eyes, my fiancee is super attractive. She is thin with DDs, super curvy, really nice body and face. She must be attractive in everyone else's eyes too because men are constantly STARING at her like they have never seen a woman before. One time, she came out wearing baggy old jeans, no make up, her hair in a ponytail and a men's T-shirt. We went to the store and two women walked by with dresses and heels and full make up. These guys ignored them to stare at my fiancee, even though she was dressed down.
> 
> ...


You should move to the middle east. Encourage her to cover herself from head to toe...she can show 1 or possibly both her eyes, but if her eyes are too sexy, you should consider a mesh screen to prevent other men from seeing her. Anything you need to do to control her is normal over there. Whatever you need to do to protect your possession (the wife to be) would be cool in that area of the world.

Back here on planet earth, I would suggest you get proper counselling, and/or let this girl free. What kind of marriage do you think this will be? 

This is not normal. You can't control other people, so don't punish her for this. You don't go out with her anymore because of this....how long do you think she will be happy about that? You are not a fun guy if you don't go anywhere and try to control what she wears when she leaves the house.

If you can't handle being with a hot chick, break up.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

You refuse to take her anywhere except to your momma's so you can beat some sense into her. 

You punish her by isolating her because guys don't respect your ownership?

The question is why this woman has put up with you for so long.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

The world is chock full of homely women. If you don't want other guys looking at your super-attractive fiance', you might consider dating an aesthetically challenged one. If she's homely enough, if some guy stole her from you, you might not even mind.


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

unbelievable said:


> The world is chock full of homely women. If you don't want other guys looking at your super-attractive fiance', you might consider dating an aesthetically challenged one. If she's homely enough, if some guy stole her from you, you might not even mind.


Jimmy Soul - If You wanna be happy - YouTube


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## Omgitsjoe (Oct 1, 2012)

This happens often with my wife often causing a guy to stare or take a 2nd glance when we're out and about .......... though i thought it'd get less with her carrying a 2 year old and another 6 year old right behind her ummmmm it hasnt ?? 

Do i mind ..... ?? Nope not one bit because this hot momma is coming home with me and into our bed ...... with our two little boys of course  !!!


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## Michael Cross (Jul 25, 2013)

What your communicating to your fiancé is that you don't trust her. She will tire of your jealousy and will either become untrustworthy or she'll leave.

You HAVE to begin with yourself. And NOW. It's your confidence that is the problem and she's with you right? She sees something in you that she loves. Women want a confident man, a leader.


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

You guys are probably a mismatch. She's hot and you're not so they're all in shock. Don't worry about it.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Kobo said:


> You guys are probably a mismatch. She's hot and you're not so they're all in shock. Don't worry about it.




:rofl:


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

Haha, I'm the total opposite of this thread. When I'm with a ridiculously hot girl that everyone is staring at, I usually have the biggest sh*t eating grin in creation, and feel like I own the world.


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

No.

I don't tell her what to wear. But days like yesterday she wore really tight low-cut pants and her pink panties were showing so I was laughing on the way to the store, telling her how men would be bumping into aisles staring at her.

I like to drift away with the kids in the cart because when men see her alone they are a lot worse about staring. There was a guy who followed her through the vegetable department yesterday. I never "bust" them, but if they are with their wives they sometimes get busted by their wives. Fishnet panty hose is a lock on that. 

If you can't handle men looking at your wife then you fail the man-test. Men need to be confident in themselves.


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## Mo42 (Jul 25, 2013)

I'm going to need a full body pic of fiance in order to fully assess the situation and provide the proper feedback. 

Thanks in advance.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Is this possibly true? Are you bragging? 

I don't see the problem. You are a man so you should understand the DNA instinctual need for men to stare at women's parts. 

These staring men don't care about your feelings or hers. She is an object with parts that are on display for their enjoyment. 

Do you love your gf? Do you plan to marry and have kids? If your answer is yes then you need to calm down and accept reality. What you are experiencing is objectification by proxy. 

You are making a common mistake. The stares are rude but your gf needs to cover up. Why don't you take it up with the rude men whose stares bother you? 

Maybe they will learn that there are humans with feelings involved and control themselves. It's more likely that they will tell you to eff off and that they can stare if they want. 

Just ignore rudeness, there is nothing you can do. Stand proud and enjoy your gf and her parts. Men must satisfy their need for visual stimuli. Where have you been living? :scratchhead:


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

JimJ said:


> Does anyone else have this problem with their ladies?
> 
> In my eyes, my fiancee is super attractive. She is thin with DDs, super curvy, really nice body and face. She must be attractive in everyone else's eyes too because men are constantly STARING at her like they have never seen a woman before. One time, she came out wearing baggy old jeans, no make up, her hair in a ponytail and a men's T-shirt. We went to the store and two women walked by with dresses and heels and full make up. These guys ignored them to stare at my fiancee, even though she was dressed down.


Ok. There is a situation, where the guy has a really attractive girlfriend or wife. That she's going to catch outside attention. It comes with that territory. So you have to figure she's going to catch the outside attention, and you cannot get stressed or feel insecure about it. 

From the way you describe her, she's put together well enough she doesn't have to go the extra mile, to potray herself in a way to get even MORE outside attention, if she's in a relationship it's simply not necessary. However you said she's in her 20's and many in that age range will follow fashion, even if it leaves them exposed... I still believe we can carry ourself in a way, where we don't need the outside attention, or we could carry outselves in a way where we are seeking it. 



JimJ said:


> She is getting really frustrated with me because I don't want to go out with her anymore anywhere. We haven't gone out to eat or anywhere social in over a year. She loves the beach, and I haven't taken her in 3 years.


Thats a bit extreme. If she is that fine... Where she can do beach without OVERDOING it, like it's rather normal for her and definately not looking like on the prowl... You should be able to handle that particular situation.

Females in the 23-28 range do get an inordinate amount of attention irregardless. It comes part of the territory.

The rules for yourself, is you know your girl is getting attention. You have to be able to deal with the situation without appearing insecure, confident, and without any attention she gets detracting from you one bit. If she always potrays that shes WITH you then her attention will actually build you.



JimJ said:


> I just can't stand the staring. When we do go out like to the grocery store or something, I beg her to wear a baseball hat and baggy, attention detracting clothes so other guys won't stare at her. She is mad at me because she wants to dress up and go to the beach in her bikini or wear cute dresses or skirts, but she doesn't understand that would be a NIGHTMARE for me. She keeps saying she just wants to dress and act like a normal woman in her 20s, but I don't think her body is very "normal."


She knows she can dress down and still look very good. And she also knows she can expose and display cleavages, display and expose rear ends or camel toes. She can show more skin. She can look extra suacy for no reason at all.

But she doesn't have to , it's her choice. However if a good part of this ladies life is living in the "fashion" realm, then your going to have to learn to deal with it.

I suggest getting your own physical and dress game up, so your spending less time worrying about the attention she gets, and she spends more time worrying about the females looking at you.



JimJ said:


> I don't get why men can't just glance and why they have to stare. Why can't guys be more respectful of my relationship when it's clear she's taken? I feel like I'm going to get into a fight one of these days with some punk that is starting at her with his mouth open or saying things to her, which has happened.


Guys are acting like your not there. You don't have to be extra tought and aggresiive. You just have to look like thats YOUR woman. Their still going to look.

Any one doing any unnecessary cat calls or guestures should be shut down by her. She should not even encourage it one bit.

The thing about it, is some of the ladies look at the male as an accessory like a purse or set of shoes. Not their equal, so they are encouraging the attention and cat calls, though their body language, spirit, sneaking peaks out of their eyes and smiling at others who notice them...


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## Cubby (Mar 28, 2012)

JimJ, for YOU, this is the best advice you'll ever get:

Jimmy Soul - If you wanna be happy - YouTube


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Haha, I'm the total opposite of this thread. When I'm with a ridiculously hot girl that everyone is staring at, I usually have the biggest sh*t eating grin in creation, and feel like I own the world.


You sound like a real Jedi in this particular scenario.


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## Acorn (Dec 16, 2010)

JimJ said:


> She wants to dress up and go to the beach in her bikini or wear cute dresses or skirts, but she doesn't understand that would be a NIGHTMARE for me.


Wow, that must be rough.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Acorn said:


> Wow, that must be rough.


The only good defense is a good offense.

So be the guy with the buff tight body, even in long shorts grabbing the inordinate attention.

If you don't have it, your going to have to be unusually cool....

But if she's acting like she's not your woman, that would screw ANYONE on the face of the earth, unless he has other ones of his own.

Yes tough scenario.


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## Acorn (Dec 16, 2010)

treyvion said:


> The only good defense is a good offense.
> 
> So be the guy with the buff tight body, even in long shorts grabbing the inordinate attention.
> 
> ...


I don't think my biting sarcasm translated well in text, apparently.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Acorn said:


> I don't think my biting sarcasm translated well in text, apparently.


Your are entitled and narcissistic within your biting sarcasm 

Just want to add, it's a doable situation...


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## olwhatsisname (Dec 5, 2012)

because we are still breathing.10/4


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## silentghost (Jan 28, 2013)

Jimj.....why don't you just dump your fiance and get a mail-order bride from Afghanistan, this way you don't have to deal with your insecure feelings and let your fiance find someone who would be proud to be with her.
At this point you don't want to do anything with your fiance...and that's not fair for her.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

JimJ... you don't have to worry about this anymore since you took to beating her. She's left you and hopefully she will not be back.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

silentghost said:


> Jimj.....why don't you just dump your fiance and get a mail-order bride from Afghanistan, this way you don't have to deal with your insecure feelings and let your fiance find someone who would be proud to be with her.
> At this point you don't want to do anything with your fiance...and that's not fair for her.


He does like to get violent with her...so that's doing something with her I guess...


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> JimJ... you don't have to worry about this anymore since you took to beating her. She's left you and hopefully she will not be back.





samyeagar said:


> He does like to get violent with her...so that's doing something with her I guess...


A minute apart...eerie...


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

samyeagar said:


> A minute apart...eerie...


Great minds, thinking alike... and all that stuff


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Great minds, thinking alike... and all that stuff


The two threads by JimJ just scream TROLL to me...but the sad and scary thing is that things like this actually happen in real life...


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

samyeagar said:


> The two threads by JimJ just scream TROLL to me...but the sad and scary thing is that things like this actually happen in real life...


Yep this happens in real life. There' really no reason not to believe it.... well except wishing it was not real.


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## The-Deceived (Jan 8, 2013)

You will drive her to leave you if you keep up with this nonsense. You're going to suffocate her with your insecurity and jealousy.

Man up and get over it or lose her forever.

ETA

You beat her, so hopefully she leaves you regardless.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Yep this happens in real life. There' really no reason not to believe it.... well except wishing it was not real.


Until the OP comes back, there's not much more to be said or suggested on this...


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

samyeagar said:


> The two threads by JimJ just scream TROLL to me...but the sad and scary thing is that things like this actually happen in real life...


I felt the same way about possible trolling, in which case his personality is disordered anyway.

Take your pick: manipulative control freak that provokes the wife and then covers her mouth with his hands... or manipulative control freak that starts threads on fora to bait people.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

treyvion said:


> You sound like a real Jedi in this particular scenario.


Ooo ooo! I have a related funny story!

I was seeing this girl Delia, who is smoking hot... like lingerie model hot imo. This one time we went to starbucks, I went to the bathroom while she ordered for us. I came out and there were three guys oogling her while she waited for our coffee. I stood back by them, behind Delia and the people gathered waiting for drinks and listened to them talk about her for a sec. Then I jumped in with "That one? Yeah, she's hot." Then Delia comes over with our drinks and I'm like "Ready to go babe?"

C'mon, that's just fun! I don't know why anyone would worry about guys looking. They get 3 times as many stares when you're not around. They're with you because they like you. They're more annoyed by the stares than anything else, and its exceptionally rare that they find the guy staring even remotely attractive - usually its "eww". I kinda dig the envy. lol


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

This whole thread seems like a humble brag.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

Sorry, I didn't mean to brag. Just trying to point out theres no need to be uptight about other guys looking. She's with you she's with you. She's not gonna up and run off with random creepy staring guy. I just laugh.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Sorry, I didn't mean to brag. Just trying to point out theres no need to be uptight about other guys looking.


No, not you...the OP.


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## marko (Jul 22, 2013)

I think the OP should learn to relax quite a bit, he sounds pretty high strung. he will likely get seriously hurt trying to "defend his territory" when he gets physical and irate with some guy he does not see as a street smart tough guy stares or says something to them. I have seen it more than a few times. 

I have self studied abnormal psychology and sociology most of my adult life(as well as other weird subjects). As such I have done some of my own research into humans and assorted archetypes of personalities.(omega, beta, and alpha), the following examples are in this order.

In one of these studies I went to the mall and followed couples, sounds creepy I know. it was all part of a plan. When the guys noticed me staring at the girls butt they would do one of three things, look at me and shyly look back and carry on(65%), look at me and give me an angry " I want to beat you down" look(30%) or look at me and give me a smile and nod and a " you bet I am with this sexy woman" look (5%)

these numbers are approximate of course, but they do show the different reactions different guys will do. I am a bigger man and can take care of myself when things go bad, but I have learned how to mentally disarm guys like the OP so things do not get to that point. 

I teach a self defense class and have always wondered why we do the stupid things that men AND women do. So I got into the assorted subjects that are human behavior and have thoroughly enjoyed it. 

We think we are complicated and smart but we really are just naked apes that have remote controls.


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## JimJ (Jul 26, 2013)

Wiserforit said:


> I felt the same way about possible trolling, in which case his personality is disordered anyway.
> 
> Take your pick: manipulative control freak that provokes the wife and then covers her mouth with his hands... or manipulative control freak that starts threads on fora to bait people.


Why would someone start a bs thread?

Its not that im not proud to be with her, its just that i wish she would do more to detract attention. When she does dress down and guys still stare, im never angry at her, just them. I feel it is disrespectful and awkward.

Its also dangerous. We dont live in the best neighborhood. Ive literally watched a guy get jumped after two guys were trying to hit on his gf / wife. They picked a fight because the girl was hot. I have also known a guy that was shot because his wife was apparently very hot (never saw her myself) and some guys trying to hit on her started a fight with the husband. I really dont want to get jumped by some punks and have her get hurt in the process.


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## Suspecting (Jan 8, 2013)

Where do you live?


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

JimJ said:


> Why would someone start a bs thread?
> 
> Its not that im not proud to be with her, its just that i wish she would do more to detract attention. When she does dress down and guys still stare, im never angry at her, just them. I feel it is disrespectful and awkward.
> 
> Its also dangerous. We dont live in the best neighborhood. Ive literally watched a guy get jumped after two guys were trying to hit on his gf / wife. They picked a fight because the girl was hot. I have also known a guy that was shot because his wife was apparently very hot (never saw her myself) and some guys trying to hit on her started a fight with the husband. I really dont want to get jumped by some punks and have her get hurt in the process.


How about this? MOVE!

Oh...and get anger therapy. 

BTW, you are rationalizing the your burka desires with the 'a guy got beaten up'. So be willing and able to defend your GF. But you aren't attributing the problem to THEM...you are attributing the problem to her not dressing like a grandmother.

She only gets to be young and hot once...and you want to deny her that instead of enjoying these young and hot years together.

Well...she is perfectly capable of finding some who, if not more secure, is better able to silence his insecurities.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

I love it when they stare at her. In fact I am the one who buys all her clothes and help her get ready to go anywhere. Its a huge ego boost for me!


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

JimJ said:


> Why would someone start a bs thread?
> 
> Its not that im not proud to be with her, its just that i wish she would do more to detract attention. When she does dress down and guys still stare, im never angry at her, just them. I feel it is disrespectful and awkward.
> 
> Its also dangerous. We dont live in the best neighborhood. Ive literally watched a guy get jumped after two guys were trying to hit on his gf / wife. They picked a fight because the girl was hot. I have also known a guy that was shot because his wife was apparently very hot (never saw her myself) and some guys trying to hit on her started a fight with the husband. I really dont want to get jumped by some punks and have her get hurt in the process.


She wears jeans and a t-shirt and still gets attention so what she wears has nothing to do with it. Your neighborhood is dangerous? So are you. In your other thread you said you slapped her, choked her and she hit her head against a coffee table after your assault. This has nothing to do with how she dresses and everything to do with you and your demons.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

JimJ said:


> To be fair, she doesnt get loud on purpose. Its just the way she reacts to anger, and i genuinely doubt she even realizes it.


She reacts to anger by raising her voice, you react to it by raising your hand. 

She's annoying, you're abusive. There's work to be done here.



JimJ said:


> Also, her voice is naturally loud. I have to remind her to be quiet when she is just speaking normally and not fighting at all, because you can hear her two rooms away.


I suspect a hearing disorder. At any rate if you reconcile that loud voice is going to eventually start getting to you. Can you listen to it for another 20 years?



JimJ said:


> Why would someone start a bs thread?


It happens. People have too much time on their hands and like to mess with other people's heads. It wouldn't happen so much if they didn't get a response but the problem is exacerbated by clueless posters who respond to threads they deem as 'suspicious' and say stupid things like "I think this isn't real" rather than ignoring them or contacting a moderator.


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## ohno (Jul 11, 2013)

Ya if they are STARING they just don't take YOU very seriously. It has nothing to do with her, leave her alone. Next time you are out with her, take the biggest, scariest and angriest of these lookers head on and tell him exactly how you feel about him. Give him a slap and try to partially suffocate him. 

For your own good, seriously, you need to be ok with yourself before you get into any kind of relationships. You are not ok with yourself. You are insecure and you hit your woman. 

Get some help.


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## jd08 (Nov 20, 2012)

Do you live in Iraq?



JimJ said:


> Why would someone start a bs thread?
> 
> Its not that im not proud to be with her, its just that i wish she would do more to detract attention. When she does dress down and guys still stare, im never angry at her, just them. I feel it is disrespectful and awkward.
> 
> Its also dangerous. We dont live in the best neighborhood. Ive literally watched a guy get jumped after two guys were trying to hit on his gf / wife. They picked a fight because the girl was hot. I have also known a guy that was shot because his wife was apparently very hot (never saw her myself) and some guys trying to hit on her started a fight with the husband. I really dont want to get jumped by some punks and have her get hurt in the process.


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## masterclicker (May 16, 2013)

My wife was and still is a beautiful woman. (We are now both 66) Throughout our married life, men have constantly hit on her. One memorable occasion was when we were at the grocery store.(we were in our late thirties at the the time) I wandered off into the aisle next to the one she was in, looking for something. As I walked up the aisle, I could hear a young man conversing with her, telling her she was the sexiest, most beautiful woman he had ever seen! He was literally begging her for her phone number! I heard her tell him that she was married, to which he replied "so was he". She then said to him that she was "happily married", he replied that "so was he". Well he pestered her for a few more minutes, and she told him that her husband was here in the store, and if he didn't leave her alone, she was going to find me and let me deal with him. He finally got discouraged and left her alone. 
It is a whole lot more comforting to know that SHE deals with these situations appropriately, as opposed to me having to scare off her admirers. In the end, I know that she is with me because she wants to be, not because she's being kept a prisoner.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Suspecting said:


> Where do you live?


Hades, The Bronx, NY 666666


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## biola (Dec 28, 2012)

LanieB said:


> Dear JimJ's girlfriend:
> 
> If you are chained in JimJ's basement, blink once for yes, twice for no, and I will send help.
> 
> Lanie


You can't imagine how hard I laughed at this post.Good one!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

I have guys flirt with me or even stare, especially in my car. I have really long blonde hair where men really take notice. I don't think twice about it. Im absolutely in love with my husband and I only flirt with him.

I keep my hair nice for my husband and I put a lot of effort for myself into staying thin.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

ohno said:


> Ya if they are STARING they just don't take YOU very seriously. It has nothing to do with her, leave her alone. Next time you are out with her, take the biggest, scariest and angriest of these lookers head on and tell him exactly how you feel about him. Give him a slap and try to partially suffocate him.


Everything in life is not about this "tough guy" bs... You can't fight them all, nor should you have to. It's up to the woman to shut down the behavior, because if your having to fight other dudes over whats supposed to be your "own" woman, your in for a world of serious hurt.



ohno said:


> For your own good, seriously, you need to be ok with yourself before you get into any kind of relationships. You are not ok with yourself. You are insecure and you hit your woman.
> 
> Get some help.


Yes, he did a stupid thing.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

We had a war over here that settled the question about people owning other people. You don't own your fiance'. You don't have the right to tell her when and when not to speak. You damned sure don't have the right to hit her. If there was any justice in this world, her daddy or brother would have given you a very memorable and legendary thumping for slapping her. Slap my baby and see what happens.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

unbelievable said:


> We had a war over here that settled the question about people owning other people. You don't own your fiance'. You don't have the right to tell her when and when not to speak. You damned sure don't have the right to hit her. If there was any justice in this world, her daddy or brother would have given you a very memorable and legendary thumping for slapping her. Slap my baby and see what happens.


You don't own anyone, but you are in control of what behavior and level of respect you will tolerate. This goes true for man or woman.

You sound quick to jump on all these men who want to abuse women, what about the other way around?


How do women feel about women entrapping their sons, putting them in potential lethal situations, abusing their love for them, decieving them, etc?

How does a mother feel about her son being used as a disposable prop?

What about a father? As a father, I do not hold these females in high regard who do this to someone.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

unbelievable said:


> We had a war over here that settled the question about people owning other people. You don't own your fiance'. You don't have the right to tell her when and when not to speak. You damned sure don't have the right to hit her. If there was any justice in this world, her daddy or brother would have given you a very memorable and legendary thumping for slapping her. Slap my baby and see what happens.


All I can think of in reading his posts is how many years I'd have to serve if he was engaged to one of my daughters.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

treyvion said:


> You don't own anyone, but you are in control of what behavior and level of respect you will tolerate. This goes true for man or woman.
> 
> You sound quick to jump on all these men who want to abuse women, what about the other way around?
> 
> ...


If you don't like the treatment your female partner gives you, you can discuss it, go to counseling, you can leave. Your options don't include beating someone weaker into submission to your will. If the guy likes violence, he needs to find a sparring partner capable of delivering that which he likes. No one who has even trace residue of manhood beats on a woman. He doesn't need counseling. He needs an a$$whooping.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

unbelievable said:


> If you don't like the treatment your female partner gives you, you can discuss it, go to counseling, you can leave. Your options don't include beating someone weaker into submission to your will. If the guy likes violence, he needs to find a sparring partner capable of delivering that which he likes. No one who has even trace residue of manhood beats on a woman. He doesn't need counseling. He needs an a$$whooping.


Spoken eloquently. He needs that and also to be taken to jail and charges pressed.

Anytime there is physical violence you should press charges and do your part so they can serve their time.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

treyvion said:


> You don't own anyone, but you are in control of what behavior and level of respect you will tolerate. This goes true for man or woman.
> 
> You sound quick to jump on all these men who want to abuse women, what about the other way around?
> 
> ...


This isn't a social ills thread. This is about THIS guy who hit his fiance.


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

JimJ said:


> Why would someone start a bs thread?


In your case, it is called "duper's delight".

It is generally the greatest lifetime accomplishment of the person doing it. So congratulations.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

Wiserforit said:


> In your case, it is called "duper's delight".
> 
> It is generally the greatest lifetime accomplishment of the person doing it. So congratulations.


Says the paranoid guy who likes to insult people on the internet. lol


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> This isn't a social ills thread. This is about THIS guy who hit his fiance.


:iagree: Well said.


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