# How to get back my self esteem???



## Canesdadof5

I am on my second marriage. She is bi polar. I try so hard for her to let me love her. But, She thinks that I should buy her a new car. If I don’t I don’t love her. My first marriage was a good one towards the end. I met my second wife online. We met in 2016. We were married in Jan , 2018. We don’t touch or be sweet like be used to. She doesn’t want to touch me. ??? I need advice . What to do? She has always dated these troubled , nasty types. Felons and just losers who don’t have cars or a drivers license. Much younger or older. I hear even a related woman. Threesomes. Ect... She has a profile on every hookup site there are. She won’t touch me but she will drive across the state to have sex. Any type of sex. I saw her profiles for like tinder and naughty and F. Buddies. She would blow and screw people she had never met or know very little and are new as knowing each other. What do I do? I do try . She is weird. Shecwould go through brothers and cousins pretty quickly. People say we don’t match. Everyone has asked me why?? I used to put more stock into looks and a body. I went for the personality that was great. I fell for her quickly. Then it was coming apart. For the past 2 years.? All I hear is excuses and BS. I consider myself a ok looking guy. I’m 100 times better than what she would usually get. We lay in bed and I will get depressed. What’s wrong with me? Please help me. I can’t do this no more.


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## personofinterest

Oh my......I am sorry you are going through this.

Unless someone with bipolar disorder is EXTREMELY compliant with treatment, life can be chaos.

Does she take meds and go to therapy, etc.?


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## StarFires

This has nothing to do with her. It's all about you being someone who tolerates this, and that's why you need to find your self esteem. You have to decide you don't deserve this, you're not going to put up with it anymore, and then leave. If you're unable to make that decision, then you need counseling to figure out why you stay and allow yourself to be disrespected this way.


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## Wolfman1968

Canesdadof5 said:


> I am on my second marriage. She is bi polar. I try so hard for her to let me love her. *But, She thinks that I should buy her a new car. If I don’t I don’t love her. *My first marriage was a good one towards the end. I met my second wife online. We met in 2016. We were married in Jan , 2018. We don’t touch or be sweet like be used to. She doesn’t want to touch me. ??? I need advice . What to do? She has always dated these troubled , nasty types. Felons and just losers who don’t have cars or a drivers license. Much younger or older. I hear even a related woman. Threesomes. Ect... She has a profile on every hookup site there are. She won’t touch me but she will drive across the state to have sex. Any type of sex. I saw her profiles for like tinder and naughty and F. Buddies. She would blow and screw people she had never met or know very little and are new as knowing each other. What do I do? I do try . She is weird. Shecwould go through brothers and cousins pretty quickly. People say we don’t match. Everyone has asked me why?? I used to put more stock into looks and a body. I went for the personality that was great. I fell for her quickly. Then it was coming apart. For the past 2 years.? All I hear is excuses and BS. I consider myself a ok looking guy. I’m 100 times better than what she would usually get. We lay in bed and I will get depressed. What’s wrong with me? Please help me. I can’t do this no more.


She's manipulating you.

First steps advice:
1. Don't buy her ANYTHING. It just makes the subsequent steps more complicated.
2. Don't get her pregnant. It just makes the subsequent steps more complicated.

After the above, you need to assess your situation. 15 months is the "honeymoon" phase of most marriages, when the desire for the new spouse and new marriage is greatest...yet she is cheating and having online affairs?? 
In situations like this, either the person doing this is either severely mentally disturbed (and more than just bipolar, I'm talking serious personality disorder level, that would be very hard to reverse), or she never did love you in the first place, and is just using you (which probably also indicates a personality disorder). In either case, you need to protect yourself by removing yourself from this situation immediately.


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## sokillme

Again like you other post. The only one who can help you is yourself. Find your courage and move on. And your right something is wrong with your self esteem but it started obviously as far back as when you married her.


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## jlg07

"She is bi polar."
This is the problem with HER. 
Something i'm not clear on -- you say " She won’t touch me but she will drive across the state to have sex. Any type of sex."

Is this PRESENTLY she drives across state? If so, then FIRST get to a lawyer and get your finances protected.
If NOT and you were talking about the past, then she "hid" her personality in order to reel you in, and now her true nature is coming out.

I would seriously consider WHY you put up with her actions and don't have a heart-to-heart. Tell her that you are not willing to put up with her actions and if she doesn't turn around, you will be gone (but if you say this YOU HAVE TO MEAN IT).


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## Spicy

Yes, that’s my question too...is she having affairs now, during your marriage? If so, end this immediately.


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## TJW

Wolfman1968 said:


> She's manipulating you.
> she never did love you in the first place, and is just using you


Yep. You are a financial and emotional "ride". 



Canesdadof5 said:


> She thinks that I should buy her a new car. If I don’t I don’t love her.


See.... that what your wife is ALL ABOUT, and why she married you. 



Canesdadof5 said:


> I’m 100 times better than what she would usually get.


Exactly right...... None of those guys are going to do anything but phuck her. They are going to use her for a masturbation toy and move on to the next. They are not going to be "there" except for the sex. Your wife knows that.....she didn't marry them.....none of them are going to buy her a new car.....

This is the way to get your self-esteem back.....

*THE 180:*

And, stop making excuses for her. Bipolar, etc. While that may indeed be true, the REAL problem is that she has trained her sexual responses to the kind of behavior she's undertaking. She's lived a life of lust. She wants to continue it. They do it because they WANT TO. It's not a disease, it's a sin.

Around here, we call people like this "cake-eater". They want the comfortable and secure lifestyle of marriage, but have trained themselves to respond sexually to "forbidden fruit". It is a self-medication which provides a "fix". They are very much like drug and alcohol addicts. Nothing is more important. My first wife was like this. "Skin" was everything. She wanted the "bad boys" - her attraction to me was for the provision.

Go see a lawyer before you do anything. I'm afraid you have a sitch like I did in my marriage. A person like this is nearly impossible to get rid of. She can use the 'bipolar" horse$hit to convince a judge to give her spousal support. 

I do hope that if she is bipolar, she seeks and gets professional help and medication for that. But "bipolar" is not the problem here.

Follow @Wolfman1968 advice, don't buy her stuff, and for God's sake, don't get her pregnant.


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## aine

Is this for real, run run run.


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## Lila

@Canesdadof5 a few questions.....

You mentioned this is your second marriage. What happened to make the first one end? 

I'm going to assume by your user name that you have 5 kids. Are any of these children with your current spouse? What do your kids think about her?

You stated "Everyone has asked me why?? I used to put more stock into looks and a body. I went for the personality that was great.". Did you know she was bipolar when you married her?

When you say you found her tinder accounts and that she goes over state lines NOW for sex or, do you mean she used to do these things before she met you?


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## Lostinthought61

Canesdadof5 said:


> I am on my second marriage. She is bi polar. I try so hard for her to let me love her. But, She thinks that I should buy her a new car. If I don’t I don’t love her. My first marriage was a good one towards the end. I met my second wife online. We met in 2016. We were married in Jan , 2018. We don’t touch or be sweet like be used to. She doesn’t want to touch me. ??? I need advice . What to do? She has always dated these troubled , nasty types. Felons and just losers who don’t have cars or a drivers license. Much younger or older. I hear even a related woman. Threesomes. Ect... She has a profile on every hookup site there are. She won’t touch me but she will drive across the state to have sex. Any type of sex. I saw her profiles for like tinder and naughty and F. Buddies. She would blow and screw people she had never met or know very little and are new as knowing each other. What do I do? I do try . She is weird. Shecwould go through brothers and cousins pretty quickly. People say we don’t match. Everyone has asked me why?? I used to put more stock into looks and a body. I went for the personality that was great. I fell for her quickly. Then it was coming apart. For the past 2 years.? All I hear is excuses and BS. I consider myself a ok looking guy. I’m 100 times better than what she would usually get. We lay in bed and I will get depressed. What’s wrong with me? Please help me. I can’t do this no more.


 i hate to tell you that is not love that is extortion....never and i mean never give in to extortion....let her go brother


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