# Oral to completion - how to explain the allure



## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

Yesterday, the W and I got to talking about oral to completion, and she asked, "What's the big deal about that to guys, anyway? Other than just, 'It's hot.'"

I did my best and tried to explain reasoning that I've seen many a time: that it sends the man a message of acceptance...the willingness to allow him to finish in her mouth communicates this message so fully because it's (in a gross over generalization) "not the norm." Of course, I included the truth that most men who enjoy it aren't necessarily aware of the why, just that they do.

Any other theories (or better explanations of that one)?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

the same reason why women like it!


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

chillymorn said:


> the same reason why women like it!


That's assuming they do, of course.

My W, for example, is ultimately indifferent to it. She doesn't mind doing it from time to time, but it's not something she does frequently. Which was a side conversation that we had. She said that she's only done it a handful of times. I could swear she did it frequently in our first year or two together, then all but stopped once we were married. On further reflection, we came to the conclusion that it was a matter of perception: during those early days, oral was far more frequently a part of foreplay, as opposed to an act in and of itself. On those occasions that oral was the main event, it was all the way. As time went on and her drive decreased, oral by itself became more frequent, but not an oral finish.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

I always assumed it was cos there's no cleaning up to do afterwards


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## dormant (Apr 3, 2012)

I think too, it might be a dominance thing at a subconscious level.


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## SprucHub (Jan 13, 2012)

As someone who doesn't get them, so can reflect on what I am missing, it is an acceptance thing. It is a selfless act that shows love, attraction, and affection. It communicates - I am into you. Not that there aren't other ways of showing it.


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

This article sums it up near perfectly. Have your wife read it.
Why It's Important For A Woman To Swallow A Man's Semen During Oral Sex! | Gender & Sexuality


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## nader (May 4, 2011)

swallowing to me is a nice bonus, or finishing touch. My wife hasn't swallowed in quite some time, and usually is in a rush to get me inside her. Every once in awhile I'll get a 'favor' to completion, but she usually backs away when it's time for the big finish.

While the swallowing would be nice, I'm mostly ok with that... the allure is more in the act itself.. there is certain psychology involved, but very much of it comes down to the simple fact that...

it feels amazing.

More important than swallowing is getting the sense that she *really wants to do this for you, and likes it.* 

If she could just enjoy doing it to me as much as I enjoy doing it to her.... We have some work to do in this area...


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

because she looks sexy good with my d*ck in her mouth.

I wonder If i look sexy with my tounge in her vaj vaj.

I'm going to ask her tonight!


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

it is hard to explain...its a closeness, its acceptance. its love. its fun. its nice. its shows love.

i havent found a good reason not to..yet....baw-ha-ha[pets evil cat with an eye patch, as i look out the window of my cliff side lair]...but seriously, its not a "reward"...but oddly i do expect to have the favor returned....

and husband expects the favor returned...we have this VICIOUS cycle if returning oral over and over and over...


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

I've never had it happen, so for me it would simply be cool because... well it *could* happen.

Basically a proof of concept.


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## 7737 (Feb 10, 2011)

Whats 'oral'?




!


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

7737 said:


> Whats 'oral'?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


It's a mouth rinse. A wonderful product, go ask for it at the store.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

I asked my DH about this once. I asked why he wanted it so bad. And, basically, the answer I got was what I expected... the acceptance. It's even more of a turn on knowing that the taste is a bit of a turn off for me, but I am willing to do it for him. That and the whole gag reflex thing, which I FINALLY managed to "fix" so to speak! LOL
But yes, the acceptance and apparently he likes to see my mouth there...


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

The same reason why if you're having vaginal (or anal) sex, you want to finish inside her. Men are hard wired to want to deliver their seed inside of a woman, and the orifice you're penetrating ultimately doesn't matter. If you're making love to her mouth, you want to finish in her mouth. Pulling out at climax makes about as much sense as pulling out of her vagina at climax and cumming outside her body.

Now do you cum outside the body sometimes during vaginal and anal sex? Sure, but I'd chance to say that the majority of the time most men finish inside the woman's body. I think if a man is unaccustomed to finishing inside her mouth, it's likely because he's not use to a woman who swallows. So guys begin to think of blow jobs as foreplay, a small pit stop on the way to the main event. But if you are like me and my wife, and view oral sex as a potentially complete, totally self contained sex session, than the entire act feels similar to vaginal lovemaking, and it feels totally natural to complete where you start; in the mouth.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

BlowJOB

Because the job isn't finished until he blows in your mouth.

But seriously, I've only ever had the pleasure once and the wife never wants to again.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

andscor said:


> I'm divorced 5 yrs now, I've had several girlfriends since that time and they ALL let me cum in their mouths, they swallowed and they let me cum on them as well.
> 
> I wouldn't be with a woman that didn't, and when I'm having a bad day I read posts like yours and feel better .. you poor dude married to a woman who only let you do it once and if you stay married assuming you don't cheat you'll probably never have that experience again. Sad.


Gives a guy the impression that the world changed while we were married but our wives didn't change with it. I agree. Sad.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

I honestly don't think it would matter to some women, how much the world "changed". Even as the stigmas about BJs, and swallowing, fall away, there will still always been lots of women who refuse to do it, or do it very reluctantly/rarely.

I mean I know men who you couldn't pay to eat p***y.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Yes, there will always be women who refuse to do it. But as the population of women who do it increases the refusers will tend to get fewer and fewer 4th dates I suspect. Perhaps eventually oral will be like vaginal sex and simply expected in a "real" relationship. Of course, just like normal intercourse there will always be examples of people who refuse to do it with their partners.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

personally it just feels better having the head of my penis getting swallowed/sucked on while I am coming


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## lovemylife26 (Mar 21, 2012)

I so should of not open this now I'm thinking the worst. I never swallowed I tried and almost threw up. The OW did it every time, so now he knows the feeling of both and I think at times he will leave me over this crazy as that sounds right.


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

jaquen said:


> I honestly don't think it would matter to some women, how much the world "changed". Even as the stigmas about BJs, and swallowing, fall away, there will still always been lots of women who refuse to do it, or do it very reluctantly/rarely.
> 
> I mean I know men who you couldn't pay to eat p***y.


Yeah and those men are dipsh!ts.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Middle of Everything said:


> Yeah and those men are dipsh!ts.


I don't think that's fair or accurate. Some women don't like to give blowjobs because they are replused by the smell and taste involved in the action. I've never heard a woman called a dipsh!t because of it. 

Likewise there are men who just think the vagina isn't a pleasant place to stick their tongues. I personally enjoy giving a woman head, but I respect the fellas who just don't find it appetizing. Nobody is a "dipsh!t" simply because they're not naturally attracted to certain sex acts.


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

jaquen said:


> I don't think that's fair or accurate. Some women don't like to give blowjobs because they are replused by the smell and taste involved in the action. I've never heard a woman called a dipsh!t because of it.
> 
> Likewise there are men who just think the vagina isn't a pleasant place to stick their tongues. I personally enjoy giving a woman head, but I respect the fellas who just don't find it appetizing. Nobody is a "dipsh!t" simply because they're not naturally attracted to certain sex acts.


fair enough.

Then imo they are just lazy, selfish, inconsiderate lovers who hide behind the "its icky and yucky" defense.


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## livnlearn (Mar 5, 2012)

andscor said:


> they swallowed and they let me cum on them as well.
> 
> I wouldn't be with a woman that didn't(


seriously??? I am a more then willing BJ giver...and by the reaction must be pretty good at it... :woohoo: I let him finish in my mouth, don't get up and run to the bathroom, BUT... brace yourself...I DON'T swallow  When he is totally done, I spit into a cup or towel..which he usually passes me. 

In 30 years he's never asked me to, or cared. and we are super open about things, so I have no doubt he'd tell me. 

the alternative would be, I try to swallow, then I gag and vomit.

If you have a partner who is willing and loving and giving in the bedroom, I can't imagine one thing such as this being a deal-breaker.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

For me it's not a deal breaker for my existing relationship. That is, it's not enough to leave over. But if I'm ever single again, it's definitely a deal breaker for starting a relationship.

It's obvious that you and your husband agree that what you have is "willing and loving and giving in the bedroom". I think that's really really cool. But for me, I just don't think that without that act that I have a willing, loving and giving partner. Definitely not willing or giving. She probably thinks she's loving, but I have my doubts. Again, not saying that my truth is your truth. I know it's not.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

andscor said:


> I'm divorced 5 yrs now, I've had several girlfriends since that time and they ALL let me cum in their mouths, they swallowed and they let me cum on them as well.
> 
> I wouldn't be with a woman that didn't, and when I'm having a bad day I read posts like yours and feel better .. you poor dude married to a woman who only let you do it once and if you stay married assuming you don't cheat you'll probably never have that experience again. Sad.


LOL. Well my tale is a sad one. The kicker...she's GORGEOUS! Which only adds to the comedy that is my life.

We are now going on 5 months sans intercourse and before that was 2 years....She has repeatedly told me she expects me to cheat due to this even though I haven't. I can't say I won't...who knows what tomorrow will bring. My armor isn't any shinier than any other man.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

lovemylife26 said:


> I so should of not open this now I'm thinking the worst. I never swallowed I tried and almost threw up. The OW did it every time, so now he knows the feeling of both and I think at times he will leave me over this crazy as that sounds right.


That's a tough one. I suspect that as long as you're willing to engage in head that leaving you over the spit/swallow may be off the table. But i'd be lying if I said it wasn't important to men.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

lovemylife26 said:


> I so should of not open this now I'm thinking the worst. I never swallowed I tried and almost threw up. The OW did it every time, so now he knows the feeling of both and I think at times he will leave me over this crazy as that sounds right.


The good news is that I don't think you're crazy!


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## livnlearn (Mar 5, 2012)

rest assured lovemylife, any man worth keeping is not going to leave you simply because you won't swallow. 

operative words.... "worth keeping"


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Actually you're right. I doubt he'll leave. But I know he'll always compare.


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## lovemylife26 (Mar 21, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Actually you're right. I doubt he'll leave. But I know he'll always compare.


He says he does not come on, I'm not a fool. And I know you guys would tell me the truth.


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