# PE?



## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

After a long dry spell, we had sex last night. as usual, all the foreplay was for him. He thought I was just going to give him a BJ and be happy with that. 

Well halfway thru, i stopped doing what i do and lay back and waited for him to get the hint. took about 10 minutes but he finally did. 

Here is the thing - we used to have sex about 3-4 hours at a time, no problem. 

Now, he can last with my hands or mouth but as soon as it puts it in me, boom. 

Last night he only got about 10 thrusts tops! He was angry and upset about it. He said he doesn't KNOW when he's about to cum. 

He says it sneaks up on him. He says he's going along just fine, and then boom, he comes. 

He said there is no usual build up like it used to - that he gets no pre-orgasm feeling, he just cums. 

I'm not sure how to help him. Anybody else have this problem?

I've got some ideas, but not sure if they will work.

Thanks


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

Yes, this is why some sources define PE as "unexpected ejaculation". Get him to do the exercises here. Having chatted with a few guys about this, I think the main thing is they are tense, wound up and in a hurry (mentally). An irritation in the urethra will also do it.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

i have discovered that if i come during foreplay, that is if i am MADE to, i can last until friction burns take over during intercourse. it is now part of our routine to take care of that process before we engage in intercourse. i also make her come several times prior to. this does take a little extra work on her part because after cumming, i just want to quit, she has to keep me interested then it katy bar the door


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

How does she keep you interested? 

He used to stay hard after coming, now if the sex turns to 'me' he loses the erection. I've tried using my mouth, hands, etc... everything i can think of.


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

How does she keep you interested? 

He used to stay hard after coming, now if the sex turns to 'me' he loses the erection. I've tried using my mouth, hands, etc... everything i can think of.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

snix11 said:


> How does she keep you interested?
> 
> He used to stay hard after coming, now if the sex turns to 'me' he loses the erection. I've tried using my mouth, hands, etc... everything i can think of.


she keeps working, mouth, tongue in ear, letting me touch, etc..


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

i guess i can keep trying.. if I ever get the chance. He just changed our 'personal time' from an hour and a half a DAY to 1/2 hour every three days. and that time he says he wants to spend watching TV in the room with me. 

so much for practice


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

snix11 said:


> i guess i can keep trying.. if I ever get the chance. He just changed our 'personal time' from an hour and a half a DAY to 1/2 hour every three days. and that time he says he wants to spend watching TV in the room with me.
> 
> so much for practice


Order him to make it sex only or it's no deal. Since when does he get to call the shots. He's just being chicken.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

MarkTwain said:


> Order him to make it sex only or it's no deal. Since when does he get to call the shots. He's just being chicken.


ok mark, you are a great asset to this board and obviously you are very intelligent on the subject of human relationships.

now, my contention with your comment:

if the role was reversed (if snixx was a man), you would be advising her (him) to bend over backwards and use all sorts of pursuation techniques to make his wife interested in sex. But since snixx is a woman and her husband doesn't seem that interested in sex, you tell her to "order him to make it sex only". :scratchhead:

i know the genders are different but jeez........


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

okeydokie-

Have you read all snix11's other threads? Then come back to me. 

Also, I have a theory with him: he actually likes to be told what to do. He interprets being asked as nagging.


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

Mark... I WILL try it tonight.. but you get to sleep with him if it doesn't work :rofl:

and if it does, I'll happily put 10.00 into your site everytime I get an O!! :smthumbup:


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

snix11 said:


> Mark... I WILL try it tonight.. but you get to sleep with him if it doesn't work :rofl:
> 
> and if it does, I'll happily put 10.00 into your site everytime I get an O!! :smthumbup:


Sounds like a win/win situation... erm... I think


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

heh... well, no sex tonight, but he was at least 'nice'. our teen agreed to watch the baby from 830-10 but Hubby wanted to play trivial pursuit... blech. He did ask me if I wanted to do something.. what was I supposed to say? Have sex with me now?

I'm not very good at initiating, especially when i'm unsure what the answer will be.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

Boss him!


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## Mr B (Feb 6, 2009)

snix11 said:


> Now, he can last with my hands or mouth but as soon as it puts it in me, boom. Thanks


Premature Ejaculation is caused by anxiety.

Fix the anxiety and you fix the PE.

Therapy is very successful in treating PE. Now therapy may take time but in conjunction to therapy there is a quick method of slowing ejaculation.

One of the side effects of SSRI depression medications such a Paxil and Prozac is the inhibition of ejaculation. This fact has been put to good use in men with PE. A reduced dose a few hours before sex usually does the trick. If the person is not depressed the medication will have no effect mentally.

Talk to a doctor or sex therapist about the problem and discuss using depression meds as a bridge until therapy for the problem is successful.


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

Mark!!! I don't wanna be boss, damnit... especially if i end up looking like and idiot and being rejected. hrumph... but yes, i'm gonna try. 

Heck I was bossy on Saturday and almost got arrested!!! makes me want to be a bit less bossy 

Mr. B. Anxiety is probably the cause. but heavens know what he is anxious about. i can't imagine it's the sex itself.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

snix11 said:


> How does she keep you interested?
> 
> He used to stay hard after coming, now if the sex turns to 'me' he loses the erection. I've tried using my mouth, hands, etc... everything i can think of.


does he smoke?

Are his hand or feet often cold?

draconis


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## HisSummerRose (Dec 10, 2008)




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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

Happy Valentines Day Karen


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## Mr B (Feb 6, 2009)

snix11 said:


> Mr. B. Anxiety is probably the cause. but heavens know what he is anxious about. i can't imagine it's the sex itself.


Why? Sexual anxiety is the most common problem sex therapists treat. Now granted he may not be feeling consciously anxious. He may not have any anticipatory anxiety before having sex. All he knows is that once intercourse starts he can't hold it.

But PE is an anxiety related sexual disorder. So it is possible that the anxiety is subconcious and this is very common in cases of sexual dysfunction, especially in men. Guys who suffer from Inhibited Ejaculation suffer from the same anxiety (often subconscious) but it has the exact opposite effect, they can't ejaculate at all during intercourse.

This anxiety has deep roots and he needs to go into therapy for it. Here's a link to info on a type of antidepressant med that will help him with his PE by inhibiting ejaculation.

Clomipramine - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

Heck, I can't even get him to go to the doc to have his testosterone checked. what makes me think he would take any meds?


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