# Please get me through the holidays



## Guy43 (Nov 24, 2010)

After 15 years of marriage, my wife left a few weeks ago. She left our daughter and her son. I couldnt be happier to have the kids, as I know that I can take care of them and provide for them emotionally. My wife suffers from depression, and has a real bad temper. Lets just say, that everyone makes her mad.

She can't handle anything. She has been in counseling for a year or so. It really hasn't changed much.

When she was deciding to leave, we sat down and went an uncontested divorce online. I figured we had better do it now that when we were not speaking to each other. We settled on everything, and she even signed a waiver of service. 

So........ The kids and I go over to her place for Thanksgiving. I help her do a few things to make her life easier. I put together some stuff for her, etc...... 

She all of the sudden sits on the couch and just looks mad. She states that she had to do the dishes and nobody offered to help. I stated that I offered, and she said that only after she was almost done. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then it begins........ The same stuff that happens every holiday. She gets mad (although she says she didn't lose her temper because she didn't yell) She is storming around the apt cause she needs some more stuff done, and we were just trying to relax and watch football. Well, within 20 minutes, I am loaded in the car with the kids, both crying, and we are heading home. They both are asking me what is wrong with mom. I tell them that she suffers from depression and we just have to hope that the doctors can make her better. 

My kids are teenagers, so they are not stupid. They know that their mom is hard to be around, but can be wonderful at times.

My daughter is now stressed about Christmas. Not about gifts like most kids, she just doesnt want to be around any stress. We all just want to be happy.

HELP ME GET THROUGH THE HOLIDAYS!!!


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Guy,

Plan Christmas without her.


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

Well you can't really cut her out of the holiday completely because the kids will likely want to see their mom.

I would suggest a short planned visit before Christmas, with defined time limits / exit strategy. I.e. we have dinner with her at 5pm, but we also have a 730pm movie we're going to.

I would make it clear that her behavior during this visit would affect the likelihood of future visits.

I would not plan anything on Christmas Day with her.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Atholk said:


> Well you can't really cut her out of the holiday completely because the kids will likely want to see their mom.
> 
> I would suggest a short planned visit before Christmas, with defined time limits / exit strategy. I.e. we have dinner with her at 5pm, but we also have a 730pm movie we're going to.
> 
> ...


Since food seems to be an issue with her (cleaning up, etc.), I'd suggest simply opening the presents and not giving her time to earn her thespian stripes.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

If she doesn't like to cook or do the dishes, then tell her not to cook or do the dishes. 

I don't think this is the only thing which makes her act like this. 

A woman who feels sorry for herself will look for every opportunity and excuse to get people's attention, but she doesn't know that the kind of attention people feel forced to give her is making other people uncomfortable.


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