# 4some or lonesome



## pinkgummy (Oct 14, 2013)

Hello,

I have been married for 4 years. We had a couple as best friends and we were with each other’s almost day at each other’s houses even sleeping over. We had mutual friends and everything was perfect until my husband suddenly changed. He seem distant from me and we wouldn't communicate as well as when we first were married. I began to notice that he would flirt with my best friend (his bf wife) and she would go with it (they had inside jokes). 

One day we went out for some drinks and things went too far!! Me and her ended up kissing and have same room/bed sex. It was so much fun but things between my husband and I were falling apart. 

We both worked but he had a crazy schedule since that was the case I paid most of the bills online and he was only in charge of one bill the cell phone. However one day he was very tired and the bill was past due and he asked me to pay the bill. So I did, by then we had placed a password on his cell phone for a strange reason, so I was very curious and I checked the phone bill history I found that they were talking for hours while I was at work and her husband was also. He had used way more texts than I did and I wanted to confront them.

When I did they both denied it to the end, stating that she would give him advice since our relationship was not working. I ended that friendship completely and planned to leave him yet I loved him too much and forgave him. 

I received ongoing texts from her stating that she misses our friendship and asking to forgive her for what I thought was cheating; I never responded. A year has passed and continued texting me so I responded we began flirting over the phone somehow and now she wants to meet up but she wants to husband to come, therefore I told her that I would have to bring my husband as well. She agreed but just girl on girl action (no 4some). Yet I don’t know if I should be letting this happen as much as I want it to happen. 

Please, I need advice. Should I continue with our plans or just forget about her and delete her from my life? Please help.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Good lord. :rofl::rofl::rofl:



:redcard:

Rethink what you want out of life and your marriage. Then pursue that.


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

Sounds out of control to me, I don't share


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

You want to cheat, but you wont let your husband cheat...


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## Writer (Aug 3, 2012)

If you open pandora's box, just be prepared for what might come out. A one-sided open marriage does NOT work. Open marriages hardly work to begin with, but one-sided ones breed jealousy and resentment.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

tracyishere said:


> You want to cheat, but you wont let your husband cheat...


Yea, how come you get to cheat with her but your husband does not? 

Not fare at all *pout*


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## TikiKeen (Oct 14, 2013)

So one set of genitalia isn't enough?

This feels like a Y*hoo Answers question...


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

It sounds like you're (very) awkwardly working your way into the world of swinging. It can be a lot of fun, but it's more fun and a lot safer if you and your husband talk about it and reach agreement on what is acceptable and what's not. Finding good friends with whom to play can be even more enjoyable if all of you get along. You have some trust and honesty issues to work through if this is to become anything more, IMO. You should expect that if you do go through with this, it will probably open the door to everyone participating eventually. Be sure you want to go there and can handle it (or that it's worth trying to adjust) before taking this too far. However, I think you can pursue this one time experience and still put a stop to further activities if that is your choice.

For a few years we often got together with one couple every month or so, mostly the four of us, though occasionally as a threesome if someone was away on business. Eventually it faded away as they went in a different direction with their interests, but we've remained friends.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

TikiKeen said:


> So one set of genitalia isn't enough?
> 
> This feels like a Y*hoo Answers question...


Two or three is often more fun!


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

Married but Happy said:


> Two or three is often more fun!


 In your case, the both of you were on the same page and all was fine, but with Pinkgummy it seems that she wants what she wants and he gets left out. I mean if he likes to watch is one thing but when she gets her kicks and he doesn't, I can't see how this would be a good thing. Sooner or later he's going to want to join in and if there's hard feelings it won't be pretty.


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## EntirelyDifferent (Nov 30, 2012)

I think you're heading for trouble...


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## WalterWhite (Sep 14, 2012)

PinkGummy, how old are you? You've been married far too little time for your marriage to get to this point. You are in this position because you and your husband have become bored with each other, and have stopped finding ways to spice things up. Your chances of divorce are probably over 80% in the next few years. You come across very selfish, and self centered.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

pinkgummy said:


> Hello,
> 
> I have been married for 4 years. We had a couple as best friends and we were with each other’s almost day at each other’s houses even sleeping over. We had mutual friends and everything was perfect until my husband suddenly changed. He seem distant from me and we wouldn't communicate as well as when we first were married. I began to notice that he would flirt with my best friend (his bf wife) and she would go with it (they had inside jokes).
> 
> ...



- You're married for 4 years now, that's great. :smthumbup:

- you have a great set of friends, good, good.

- Then hubby starts pulling back and acting strange around you and with this couple's wife. Not good.....

- Then you went out with her, had a few drinks and went home with her to have sex? Right there, you broke your marriage vows and committed adultery. You were to be faithful to your hubby and he to you. But what you did was get drunk and have sex with your friends wife.

- This other woman misses your friendship, basically sex with you. If she had any brains, she wouldn't of had sex with you because you are a married woman and so is she.

- And now she wants you to come over with your hubby, so you and her can have sex again, while the guys watch?


I say, get divorced already because staying faithful to your hubby was too much to ask of you. And same goes with this other woman.

Marriage isn't have sex with other people. Marriage is to be faithful to hubby and he to you and if this aren't repairable, then at least get a divorce and then do all the sleeping around.

If I had sex with the ladies I could of, many in my past, I would have destroyed my wife in the process, all because of my selfishness and sexual lack of self control. Marriage is not easy because if it was, there would be no cheating and divorces. It takes hard work and endurance.

It would of been better for you to stay single, party it up and when you are ready to really settle down, then get married.

But now you are more than likely going to get a divorce anyway because you didn't just open that pandora's box for a peak, you jumped right in!!

Don't be surprised if your hubby now decides to have sex with another guy or lady and you can't say or do anything about it because you already did.

I wish you the best out of this mess, I really do.


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