# Wife Cheated, now I want to watch



## kavdad (8 mo ago)

My wife cheated on me with an ex-neighbour. We had moved away and she had secretly been sexting him. I went away for a couple weeks and he came round.

We weren’t getting along well and so I realise why it happened but was still angry. I was no angel either.

We didn’t split up and she still denies anything sexual happened, but does admit it was emotional cheating.

I know that’s ******** because I saw the emails and it was all hot until he visited and then it stopped. I’m pretty sure he humped and dumped her.

The thing is, my initial anger has changed to arousal and now I’d love to watch and play with her while she gets ****ed.

I have a good friend who I know would do it and I’m sure she is attracted to him enough. He’s also discrete and likes her.

I think it would be a great way to move forward from what happened. I’m not entirely sure why but watching her in ecstasy would let me see her as a sexual being. Because it would be safe with a friend I wouldn’t be jealous.

My problem is she’s very shy sexually with me and if I just brought it up and asked her she would be very suspicious and angry.

There’s lots of posts on here about what happened after a threesome, good and bad, but can’t find anything about how the subject was broached except in a clinical manner. I can’t see that working, even in regular dating the best way is seduction.

Just for clarity, there’s no anger or jealousy - even if she ran off with him afterwards I’d be fine as we will probably split up anyway if we can’t resolve this.


----------



## ShatteredKat (Mar 23, 2016)

Ever heard of "Russian Roulette" 

What you are planning is like that but instead of one round in the cylinder - putting in five.

so you play - five out of six - odds are?

Seems to me you are out to kill your marriage


----------



## kavdad (8 mo ago)

Wasn’t looking for opinions or judgement. Genuinely asking for advice from anyone in similar situation.


----------



## sideways (Apr 12, 2016)




----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

If you want to upset your wife and loose your marriage go ahead.


----------



## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

Do you want the other guy to also play with you ? Are you bisexual ? Do you also fancy the other guy ? I knew some Maltese guys who were into this sort of thing. Be careful because to her it would just be a game but you could be landing yourself into a painful experience.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

@kavdad are there any children involved?

You weren't an angel? Does this mean you cheated, too?

I would suggest marital and family counselling.


----------



## marko polo (Jan 26, 2021)

kavdad said:


> My wife cheated on me with an ex-neighbour. We had moved away and she had secretly been sexting him. I went away for a couple weeks and he came round.
> 
> We weren’t getting along well and so I realise why it happened but was still angry. I was no angel either.
> 
> ...



_*My problem is she’s very shy sexually with me and if I just brought it up and asked her she would be very suspicious and angry.*_

You wife is not shy sexually with you. *She is not attracted to you.* If she would be suspicious and angry with you asking likely she is disgusted with you completely and would not want you around even to watch her with another man.

_*even if she ran off with him afterwards I’d be fine as we will probably split up anyway if we can’t resolve this.*_

You may as well leave now. For clarity she will not give you what you want and frankly you are too timid to ask.


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

There are 13 steps up to the _Gallows Platform_.

That's high enough for the tallest of men, their necks stretched out fully, their feet never touching ground.

Aye, tis' fit fully for the evilest of criminals.

To do this to your wife, would stretch the boundaries of any marriage. 

Six dangling feet of any _three doers_ would surely reach that soil below, and be muddied..


----------



## Keepin-my-head-up (Jan 11, 2013)

For starters, maybe set the mood a bit and watch an adult movie featuring some MMF action.

don’t go straight to hardcore but maybe some of the nc17 stuff that is available via steaming.
Some seductive petting while watching it together with some wine.

later, you can google some threesome content that were produced from a woman’s prospective.

I know you aren’t asking for opinions but here goes anyway…
You are ok if this ends in divorce so might as well give the threesome thing a shot.
might even take your marriage to a whole new level..


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)




----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

All I can do is shake my head


----------



## oldtruck (Feb 15, 2018)

I have this turn out bad too many times.


----------



## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

It sounds like you didn’t work through the anger, your wife dismissed your concerns (lied) and perhaps this is a way for you to cope with it? Like if you “watch,” you’ll heal from the first unfaithful event because you’ll feel more in control?

Since you posted this thread under “Coping with Infidelity” it seems like the desire to do this is tied to your feelings from what your wife did in the past.


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

kavdad said:


> Wasn’t looking for opinions or judgement.


Dude you should’ve _led_ with that.

Now everyone is all judging and having opinions. 🤷🏻‍♂️


----------



## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

You’ll go blind! 👀


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

When you were on your knees asking her to marry you, did you mention that one day you’d ask her if you could watch your buddy bend her over and pound her doggystyle so you could beat off to the spectacle?

She must have swooned…….


----------



## wmn1 (Aug 27, 2014)

Evinrude58 said:


> View attachment 86452



I know, right ? I can't even advise on this. Just OP, Nooooo


----------



## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

kavdad said:


> The thing is, my initial anger has changed to arousal and now I’d love to watch and play with her while she gets ****ed.





kavdad said:


> I think it would be a great way to move forward from what happened.


While ^^this^^ may help you to "move forward" (whatever THAT means), it would necessitate all participants being on board with your idea.

JMO but I don't think it's realistic to believe your wife and a third party would be excited about this prospect. Still, I could be wrong. Have you broached the subject with your wife? Care you speculate on how she might respond to such a suggestion?


----------



## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Get some help dude. Seriously.

I mean why spend all the money to get married just to watch porn live. You could have probably reached out to professional porn stars for about half the money.


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

A surprising number of men are into the hotwife or cuckold scene. I've never understood it, though I've known a few people who were. Anyway, I think it's one of the more dangerous paths to pursue and is more likely to lead to marital problems or divorce than, say, swinging (which I've done). If you really want to pursue this, I suggest you read a bunch of stories by people who've done it. And of course, to actually pursue it your wife would have to be on board with it; if she is, that's already a concern, IMO.


----------



## red oak (Oct 26, 2018)

kavdad said:


> My wife cheated on me with an ex-neighbour. We had moved away and she had secretly been sexting him. I went away for a couple weeks and he came round.
> 
> We weren’t getting along well and so I realise why it happened but was still angry. I was no angel either.
> 
> ...


Huh? Doesn’t compute. Clinical manner? What’s clinical about a 3 some?


----------



## GoldenR (Jan 6, 2019)

I think there's some kink forums better suited to assist you.


----------



## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

kavdad said:


> My wife cheated on me with an ex-neighbour. We had moved away and she had secretly been sexting him. I went away for a couple weeks and he came round.
> 
> We weren’t getting along well and so I realise why it happened but was still angry. I was no angel either.
> 
> ...


Ok so you've heard from all the kill joys who automatically assume the worse of anything outside monogamy. Now for some advice from those (hopefully some of my fellow ENM's will pop in) who actually have been there done that.

First of all, do NOT expect this to save your marriage. IF your marriage is still on solid enough grounds after the affair, emotional or physical, then it might have become a good opening to explore this avenue. But you had better damn sight go into it with the realization that it could end the marriage. But it does seem that you are already prepared for this eventuality.

You seem to be discovering a voyeuristic nature within you. This is well and good if everyone involved is on board. It sounds like you are not looking for a threesome per se. And despite what others are saying watching not participating as a decision on your part is not cuckold. In a true cuckold, you would never know and would not be getting anything sexually from her. In the kink cuckold, you might watch or be forced to watch, and then get nothing as well. But if you are getting some sex later, then it's simply voyeurism.

For approaching, start with something along the lines of how you were not happy with her going behind your back, but how the idea of her with another man still turned you on. Follow that up with an offer of, as long as you are both being open with each other and there is no going behind backs, you would be willing to give this a try if she is. Keep with willing, and not wanting. Make the point that such a thing had not occurred to you prior to this incident, so it's not like you could have addressed it before. Give her the chance to accept the concept, before ever thinking about any other steps. Be willing for her to decline it and make it clear (assuming it's true) that her refusal to do this will not result in you having problem with that.

Start with that and see how it goes. If well then come back and we can go from there.


----------



## Wolfman1968 (Jun 9, 2011)

I've fought the urge to add my opinion here.

Wolfman out.


----------



## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

kavdad said:


> My wife cheated on me with an ex-neighbour. We had moved away and she had secretly been sexting him. I went away for a couple weeks and he came round.
> 
> We weren’t getting along well and so I realise why it happened but was still angry. I was no angel either.
> 
> ...


You are playing with fire. What makes you think your wife would go for this arrangement? It appears to me rather than see her as a sexual being you want to see her subjugated according to your whim so that you can take back control for the emasculation you have suffered due to her infidelity. Please do not do it. It will not make you feel better and may be the final nail in the coffin of your marriage. you need therapy and counselling, you both do.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

maquiscat said:


> Ok so you've heard from all the kill joys who automatically assume the worse of anything outside monogamy. Now for some advice from those (hopefully some of my fellow ENM's will pop in) who actually have been there done that.
> 
> First of all, do NOT expect this to save your marriage. IF your marriage is still on solid enough grounds after the affair, emotional or physical, then it might have become a good opening to explore this avenue. But you had better damn sight go into it with the realization that it could end the marriage. But it does seem that you are already prepared for this eventuality.
> 
> ...


Killjoys no. People who can see where this will lead, yes.


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

kavdad said:


> My wife cheated on me with an ex-neighbour. We had moved away and she had secretly been sexting him. I went away for a couple weeks and he came round.
> 
> We weren’t getting along well and so I realise why it happened but was still angry. I was no angel either.
> 
> ...


First and foremost, opening the marriage to other people will not work unless you already have a strong marriage, and you do not. 

Next, you really think your wife, that you describe as "very shy sexually", will have any interest in having sex with someone else while you watch? Don't be a fool. And what does it mean when you say "I’m sure she is attracted to him enough"? It sound like you are basically calling you wife a **** that who just needs to be a little aroused and she'll spread wide open for your buddy.

And last, I suspect you lack the open communication required to discuss this with her. You haven't been able to communicate well enough to prevent your wife from having an EA. You believe she is a liar by not admitting she had sex with your neighbor and you don't have the openness to get her to either be truthful or for you to believe she is already telling the truth. Now with the help of internet strangers you think you are going to successfully conduct a conversation about one of the most delicate of possible topics. 

You are delusional.


----------



## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

She may be “very shy sexually” with you, but it did not stop her from ****ing a new ****. If you find someone to fulfill your fantasy, your wife will do whatever you want, probably sex acts she never does with you.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Longtime Hubby said:


> She may be “very shy sexually” with you, but it did not stop her from **ing a new **. If you find someone to fulfill your fantasy, your wife will do whatever you want, probably sex acts she never does with you.


I doubt it.


----------



## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> I doubt it.


$1 says she does, lol


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Longtime Hubby said:


> $1 says she does, lol


👍 Done


----------



## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

aine said:


> It appears to me rather than see her as a sexual being you want to see her subjugated according to your whim so that you can take back control for the emasculation you have suffered due to her infidelity.


This. You want to hurt and humiliate her by using her as your *****, because she hurt and humiliated you. It’s a natural reaction, but following through isn’t going to make anything better. Why not just move on and use this energy to rebuild your life?


----------



## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

kavdad said:


> Wasn’t looking for opinions or judgement. Genuinely asking for advice from anyone in similar situation.


So what do you want advice on?

What you should do about your lying cheater of a wife.

Or

The fact that you snapped and think watching her **** someone else is the cure for everything.


----------



## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Divorce the cheater and get a GF open to swinging or cuckolding you. No strings attached if it goes sideways.


----------



## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

A friend who would have no issues banging your wife. That is an absolutely rare kind of great friend 🤣🤣🤣

This all sounds like some backwoods Mississippi kind of stuff 😂


----------



## kavdad (8 mo ago)

346745 said:


> She may be “very shy sexually” with you, but it did not stop her from **ing a new **. If you find someone to fulfill your fantasy, your wife will do whatever you want, probably sex acts she never does with you.


That’s what I thought


----------



## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

I think the real question is , why do you want to watch your wife have sex with someone else ? She denied having sex with the neighbor. Why do u think she would do this for you ? Your true intention is to cohorse her into your kink , get your jollys and then dump her. You obviously have talked to your friend already , he's onboard because you want to watch. Your pimping your wife because your pissed ...Speaks volumes about how you really feel about her.


----------



## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> A friend who would have no issues banging your wife. That is an absolutely rare kind of great friend 🤣🤣🤣
> 
> This all sounds like some backwoods Mississippi kind of stuff 😂


As a southerner I take offense to that…
Besides, if it was, it would involve cousins not friends. Get it right.


----------

