# Happiness without love?



## DNewsom77

Do you think it is possible to achieve happiness in marriage, or life, without love? My wife struggles with "loving" others -- me, our kids. She's not a bad person, and she treats us reasonably well. But, she admits that she struggles with loving us. She had a difficult childhood, so I understand why she has the issues she does with loving/trusting others. For the first 12 years of our marriage, I tried to focus on the good things -- and we definitely have some good times together. Then, a year ago, I found out the she had an affair (which had ended by the time I found out about it). It was painful, but not really surprising. We are working on our marriage, and have made some good progress on better communication and other things that led to the affair. But now, the "love" thing is starting to bother me more than it did before. I still love her dearly, but I know that love doesn't, and probably won't ever, make sense to her. Now, I am craving to be loved like I haven't before. Do you think it is possible for me to get past this, and achieve happiness without true love for the rest of my life?


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## Freak On a Leash

Man, that's sad, being in a marriage without any love..especially when your wife has cheated on you. Don't you think you could do better? Life is so short..

I feel sorry for your kids. Everyone needs love, but no one more than kids..


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## Crypsys

DNewsom77 said:


> Do you think it is possible for me to get past this, and achieve happiness without true love for the rest of my life?


Honestly? No. Someone who is unable/unwilling to love is someone who cannot have empathy for others. IMO, you will continue to have problems until she can either "fix" what is broken.


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## okeydokie

she sounds cold, not loving her children, man


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## MarkTwain

DNewsom77-

You pose an interesting question. For me, the amount of sex involved would make a difference. How is your sex life? Does it go up and down or is it on a level? Was it any different while she was having an affair?


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## catherine_magan

I don't think you can be happy if you know she didn't love you... however, I think there must be some solution that you can get back her love! 

Since you know she has difficult childhood, maybe you need to help her to tackle this problem together, so that it will be a chance to solve this whole thing. Of course this will take lots of time and effort, and you need to find some professional help in order to make this works!

Remember, there is always hope.... good luck!


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## gtull1

No relationship is possible without love. Are you sure that she isn't showing love in her own way? Man I feel for you.


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