# Wife not responding to 180



## Chumpless (Oct 30, 2012)

Zero, notta, nilch.
I guess she don't give a hoot. Just as I suspected.
2 young kids even...geesh.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

It's not exactly an overnight thing, besides when I pulled the 180 I did it for ME, not for her or for her reaction.


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

Chumpless said:


> Zero, notta, nilch.
> I guess she don't give a hoot. Just as I suspected.
> 2 young kids even...geesh.


How long has it been? I was at it over a year before the ex even tried to come around (although had I to do it over I would not have waited that long).

She might not care about you enough to change. She might think the relationship is worthwhile to her only if you fawn over her, and she resents being deprioritized. Or she's engaging in a power play. Or she's really obtuse (although that's unlikely).

Who cares which it is? IMO, if you're doing the 180 correctly you are creating a better life for yourself than what you had. You need to get to a place where that is enough and the rest is a bonus (i.e. disconnect the emotional hose from your wife), because that's all you can control.


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## Chumpless (Oct 30, 2012)

DTO said:


> How long has it been? I was at it over a year before the ex even tried to come around (although had I to do it over I would not have waited that long).
> 
> She might not care about you enough to change. She might think the relationship is worthwhile to her only if you fawn over her, and she resents being deprioritized. Or she's engaging in a power play. Or she's really obtuse (although that's unlikely).
> 
> Who cares which it is? IMO, if you're doing the 180 correctly you are creating a better life for yourself than what you had. You need to get to a place where that is enough and the rest is a bonus (i.e. disconnect the emotional hose from your wife), because that's all you can control.


Thanks DTO. You covered everything I posted for.
I've almost let go of all emotional ties and will will soon be able to admit I'm all in for me, just me.


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## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)

The 180 is about self improvement, taking the steps needed to cope/move on in regards to a failing/ending relationship or both. It's not about getting a spouse to respond. Sometimes that is a positive side effect and you have a lot of people who start the 180 with that goal in mind but that's not it's purpose.


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## illwill (Feb 21, 2013)

It's not a tool to get her back. You have to start showing you can live without her.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

DTO said:


> Who cares which it is? IMO, *if you're doing the 180 correctly you are creating a better life for yourself than what you had*. You need to get to a place where that is enough and the rest is a bonus (i.e. disconnect the emotional hose from your wife), because that's all you can control.


:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:


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## Saki (Dec 7, 2011)

I fourth that...the 180 isn't to "get her back" it's to be happy with or without her.

Its about you!!


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## TheManinBlack (Feb 21, 2013)

Gotta second these comments. Keep going, it may work, or it may not. If it doesn't work, have you really lost anything?


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## Dawn of Man (Feb 22, 2013)

I'll have to concur with what's been said as well. There are no covert contracts with the 180.


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