# Porn Games



## Gininteacups (Feb 12, 2013)

Hi there

I found this site whilst searching online for some honest and unbiased advice about my relationship.

I have been married for 6 months and in a relationship with my husband for 17 months. After we had been dating for 5 months I unexpectedly fell pregnant and we decided that we were both in it for the long haul and went ahead with having the baby. We now have a son and on the face of things we are very happy. However, there are several things that have worried me recently and I'd just like some frank advice as this is my first marriage and I'm not sure what the norms are.

On several occasions I have found my husband looking through pictures of his ex girlfriend on Facebook, he says its no big deal and I would tend to agree as I have looked at an exes profile one couple of occasions - it's just intrigue I guess. However this has escalated and I found lots of archived MSN conversations open on the computer that he had been reading through, again perhaps nothing to worry about but I then asked if he had been searching for her again and he looked me in the eye and said no. It's was a lie as he had been looking a couple of hours earlier and not noticed me watching him.

Then this past week I saw (not snooping, he was with me) a note on his phone with lots of codes and scores. To cut a long story short he has been playing what he says is a game by ranking porn stars - giving them a score for body parts and other things that they did in the videos. He told me this. Now he has put a pin lock on this section of his phone. He plays this game every night when I go upstairs and put our son to bed.

I don't want to suffocate him or make him feel that he is doing anything wrong because I'm not sure if he is but it makes me feel really down as we have a very active sex life, despite having a 5 month old we have sex every day and I do make an effort to wear things he likes. I'm just by concerned that these notes are now locked away and that he is not being open about his use of porn which I did not have a problem with.

I guess in short I'd like to know from girls and guys if:

A) Looking at pics of his ex is normal
B) If scoring porn stars and the acts they do and keeping a log of it is normal
C) If I am completely over reacting!

Any advice appreciated  As a new wife and mum I feel very unsure about a lot of things and feel it is not something I can discuss with my family or friends as I don't want them to think bad if him. 

G


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## IndyTMI (Oct 26, 2012)

The wife and I have an open policy on media devices...passwords are for hiding things.
A happy marriage requires transparency.

A) NO!
B) Possible
C) NO!


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## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

I have two questions:

How old are you and your husband? 

When did his relationship with the EX end?


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## Drover (Jun 11, 2012)

A) yes, as long as he's just looking
B) haven't heard of this game but so what?
C) yes...so far


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## Gininteacups (Feb 12, 2013)

Thanks for your responses so far folks. It's not like I'm going to do anything about it, I'm not stupid - I know people look at porn. I've looked at it myself for ideas but I'd rather he were just open about it. Not as in me watch it with him as I know some men like just watching by themselves and can even be embarrassed.

I just don't like the fact it's all locked away. I have no PIN and nothing to hide. I also have no desire to suffocate him and invade his privacy by raking through his phone. I just don't want any secrets. I love him immensely but I'm worried these fears I have are making me difficult to live with! It's also difficult knowing he does it while I'm shattered putting the baby to bed!

I'm 28 and he's 35, his last relationship ended in 2009 although we have never really spoken about the past as we had the baby to focus on and in reality had only just started seeing each other when we found out!

Thanks again


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## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

(A) Maybe, because he lied to you. Occasionally viewing her FB page is one thing, resurrecting archived messages and lying about searching for her is another.

(B) Probably not. He wants his porn game to be private. If it interferes with your relationship, that's different.

(C) Hard to say. I'd be more concerned with the lying about the ex. At least he was truthful about the porn ranking.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Lying and hiding things is NEVER good for a marriage. NEVER.

If I were you I would tell him that you do not have a problem with the porn but you DO have a problem with anything being pw protected, and you also have a big problem with the lies. Tell him you need to know that his relationship with the ex is nothing more than what he says it is, and make sure your pw's and stuff are all open to him too.

There should be NO secrets like these in a marriage. NONE.

If he refuses to open up to you, then he's hiding more stuff that you know nothing about.


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