# Hopes to reconcile



## Brystensmom (Feb 3, 2014)

Yeah I thought it would give me hope to look at the stories in the Reconciliation forum...

LOL wrong choice.. I wont do that again.

I did have a glimmer of hope and i was still just holding on to it

But last night my Husband admitted the reason why he didnt ask for a divorce... he kept saying i dont know, i dont know but it was becuase he wasnt sure what he needed to do to file for a divorce.. and that he did in fact want a divorce.

Of course i was numb... and i begged cried screamed for him to tell me this wasnt real but he couldnt he wouldnt..he refused i cried,, and then nothingness washed over me.

I do actually feel different today. Im ok. i think its becuase I dont need to hold on anymore..Its a sense of releif and sadness at the same time. But i think im finally beginning to accept my outcome...


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## Ms. GP (Jul 8, 2013)

The fact is it doesn't matter what the reason is. If he doesn't want to reconcile, it won't work. My husband and I are in R and let me tell you it is TOUGH. Both parties have to be fully committed to it. I'm sorry you are walking through this but just think of how strong you will be after learning this painful life lesson. Focus on getting stronger. Don't isolate. Think of all the things you want to do with your life now that don't include him. Embrace this new journey as a time to get to know yourself.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

I agree with Ms. GP (and I have read her husband's story). 

R is the hardest road you will ever travel. And that's when the cheater (if he is one) is totally committed and remorseful. My ex-husband wouldn't even admit there was an affair so a lot of rug-sweeping happened and I helped do that. I don't recommend it. When DD2 occurred (with the same affair partner) I felt like a fool for staying after DD1. 

Some people R successfully but it takes a lot of work and even then there can be triggers decades later. So start detaching and prepare for life without him. That might be enough to bring him to his senses when he sees you begin to move on. If it isn't, you start your new life. And it can be good. Mine is.


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## Brystensmom (Feb 3, 2014)

Isn't it strange by spending years of controlling other people... how out of control you really are of your own sense of self. I begin to see this day by day.

By no means am i super religious, But i talk to god( or higher power)) every single day.. multiple times aday, when i find myself trying to control things outside of myself I begin to focus on other things..

It brings me back to me. Although I pray for a time and a place where me and my husband may be able to come back together

I know that right now in this moment its not right. At any rate.

I consistently work to be better and move forward and the chips will fall where they may but with each day that passes I more equipped than the day before to handle each situation as it presents itself.

If i was asked a few years ago, if i was to be without my husband.. i would have responded... with

I just might dieeee! 

but today I'm alive... and Im Ok!


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## Heartbroken84 (Feb 2, 2014)

Your doing amazing - keep putting one foot in front of the other & it can only get better. Hugs x


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