# mystery



## Ipman (Sep 11, 2012)

I would like to know if everyone here thinks that your spouse
should know your sexual fantasies?
because for me if i would then she might not like them and then reject them and make it worse and also the mystery behind it something which is mine.


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## Henri (Jun 30, 2012)

Good question. Fantasy is strongest when it isn't reality because imagination can push all the buttons just how we like it and if it doesn't go to plan we can just start again in our mind. It is safe too.

I have heard people say that that they were pleased they opened up and told their partner as it became better than they expected. So I think it depends on the partner's attitudes and we have to be the best judge of that.

Personally I don't express my fantasy, but would be interested in replies from those who have done and what happened.


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## Diolay (Jan 25, 2012)

Really that depends on the fantasy. Some could be good to live out but others not so good. For example, there'sd some females who fdantasise about being raped, (Ok this is a harsh example but hopefully you'll saee the point). Anyway, while this may be a fantasy, the reality would be very different and not something they would like to live out. However, another fantasy could be one where a role play is involved. Lets say Headmaster. This could be one which might be interesting to become a reality. 

It really depends on what fantasy you're talking about and how praticle it could be to be introduced into the realtionship. Also, wether or not it would be detrimental to the relationship or to those involved.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

Really depends on the fantasy and your relationship.








_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I'll share most fantasies.but i have a few that are only for me and I will never feel comfortable sharing them.


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## hubby (Aug 10, 2009)

ScarletBegonias said:


> I'll share most fantasies.but i have a few that are only for me and I will never feel comfortable sharing them.


I am curious about this because I don't think there would be any fantasy that I would not share. What type of fantasies are you not comfortable sharing? Only ones that I could possibly see me getting into some conflict if I had fantasies about some other woman I had a platonic relationship with. 

I could see some woman having trouble sharing a "rape" fantasy. I know that is a popular one that is not discussed much so I personally don't think there is anything "wrong" with that. 

I could see many folks having same sex fantasies. Again, probably not an unpopular one and I also don't see anything wrong with that either.

Kinda curious as to what folks don't feel comfortable about sharing with their spouse as my wife has said she does not have many. I think all people have some form of fantasies. I think when folks don't feel comfortable sharing, it is likely they are really mild/vanilla, are more "romantic scenarios". In these cases they may see them as fantasies as they think others have. Or they feel they are too dark/taboo.


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## kl84 (Jan 26, 2012)

I think you should know your partner well enough to know what fantasies can be shared and what fantasies need to be kept to yourself. For instance, fantasies about someone other than them should probably be kept to yourself lol.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

hubby said:


> I am curious about this because I don't think there would be any fantasy that I would not share. What type of fantasies are you not comfortable sharing?


Like i said,I share most. I keep the dark or "strange" ones to myself. It's nothing anyone would consider gross or disgusting. I choose not to share them because I don't want them to happen and I don't want someone thinking I want those fantasies in real life.
Aside from that,I don't like explaining why certain mental images turn me on.Sometimes I can't explain it because I don't even understand it.

I feel some things are only meant for our private thoughts and other people don't need to know them no matter how close you are to the person.


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## hubby (Aug 10, 2009)

kl84 said:


> I think you should know your partner well enough to know what fantasies can be shared and what fantasies need to be kept to yourself. For instance, fantasies about someone other than them should probably be kept to yourself lol.


Maybe I am just nieve, but I think if someone is emotionally intelligent/strong enough, they understand that you could have a fantasy about someone else and should be comfortable sharing that. Either it is a) a harmless, completely normal, fleeting thought or "crush" or b) something that is deeper than that and should be discussed anyway.

Am I just too much of an idealist?


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## kl84 (Jan 26, 2012)

hubby said:


> Maybe I am just nieve, but I think if someone is emotionally intelligent/strong enough, they understand that you could have a fantasy about someone else and should be comfortable sharing that. Either it is a) a harmless, completely normal, fleeting thought or "crush" or b) something that is deeper than that and should be discussed anyway.
> 
> Am I just too much of an idealist?


In theory, yes, you should be able to share that..... like if I fantasize about someone else (RARE) it doesn't mean that I actually want to follow through or that I don't love my husband..... but if he were to tell me he fantasized about a co-worker or something, EVEN KNOWING why *I* fantasize about someone else wouldn't be enough to keep me from being jealous and allow me to be understanding. It would get to me.....so i'd rather not know.


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

Tough but good question. Since my wife is vanilla, most of my fantasies have remained in my 'masturbation Rolodex.' The ones I consider harmless (foot fetish being one) have been out for awhile and she is great with allowing me to enjoy it. 

And there are others (especially a FFM threesome) that will never happen and I'm not sure if I would be cool with it after all the wet spots on the bed dried up. This is my wife and mother of my children; we can bang all day and do whatever to each other but there should be a limit on what kind of doors are open.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

We are free to share ours; there's very little judgement in our relationship. But I believe not everything needs to be, or even should be, shared. 

Recently she really wanted to know what my latest fantasy was. I told her she didn't, but she insisted.

I typed it up, and emailed it to her. She got kinda jealous that it didn't include her, and was butt hurt for a bit. I told there, my point is made; a little mystery is a good thing.

My wife is super into being open and raw always, but the truth is she wants to be able to handle more than she actually can. She's a very sensitive, emotional person, and she tends to take stuff very personally. So I told her that I watch what I share, and what I don't, depending on whether it's something that is beneficial to her, and us, or not. It's better that way.

I don't have a ton of sexual fantasies though. Never have. She knows a couple, and a couple she doesn't.


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