# Husband hiding away from me for weeks



## Verony (Jan 29, 2013)

We are married for 6 months. Last 3 weeks we had an argument, which lead me by throwing his stuff out from the car in the parking. He did not say anything and we just stand there doing nothing for 30 minutes.
Everything seems alright after we went home. Then the next day we went to work..at night he normally go back to his parents house only come back to my parents house. We are currently living with my parents until our house is complete by next year. He text me in the afternoon that he do not want this thing happen again in future.That night he did not call or come back. when i called him he just say he at home chilling. and asked him why he is not coming he say he is chilling. then i go over and find him, he say "no". i wanted to go there and talk things out but he did not want. so i waited and waited until midnight he still doesnt want to talk. i texted him he did not reply. he say if im like this he will run away.
then my dad ask him to go over to my house so i will come back. he came, but doesnt want to talk or solve things out. So i talk and try to solve things out for 4 -5 hours in the morning he still keep quiet. he say he want to chill and rest his mind.

my parents talk to him and his parents he still don want to talk, hide in his room and no response. i had go to his house, he doesnt want to come out and talk. he just told me that "i dont think its simple to solve. we cant communicate. its not just about shouting.the fact that my abusive behavior sole purpose it to control him, you just cant accept facts. if its because of marriage we are facing problems, you should let it down, you know it cant work out. if its about face problem, meaning you need face it so much because we're married, you just cant face the facts" i accept the fact and know i am wrong and i asked for forgiveness and a chance to change, i had told him that i will change for good and control my anger. he told everyone "A leopard will not change its spot"

his dad told me that they had talk to him, "he is does not know what he want, let him be regardless of how long let it be 2 weeks or 3 weeks, you cant force him for an answer unless you want to call it off. meanwhile u change and improve yourself first. treating as you are without him, be independent like how you both were before you together, read some books, believe in your religion. talk to your parents, siblings, friends. change yourself whether for the people around or in your work." i told him, "this is just a small issue on argument and miscommunication, when things go wrong or problem happens in future, he cant just be running away and hiding himself and not talking it out but hiding himself and avoid it. he is the man of the family, he should protect and be there for his wife. everything can be solve if we talk and work things out" he told me "you should not say what other people should do this and that, you must first do it yourself first and change." i had arranged for marriage counsel. his dad said" we will persuade him to go, go or not its up to him"., i afraid he would not attend.

until now he did not reply me whether he want to work things out or want to save the marriage or not. he did not go to work until now. he did not call me or reply my text. i do not know whats he is thinking and why he didnt reply or response.
i do not know what to do. should i wait for his response or let go as this is just the beginning, even the slightest issue, he hide himself for that long. i afraid in future is worst to come, he would hide longer.
any male here please let me know what you think.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Sounds like you pushed way to hard in this fight and you blew it. Why should he return for more abuse? Pushing him now will only push him away. He needs to see you being nice, if its possible for you.


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## Verony (Jan 29, 2013)

do you mean let him be for now?


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Let him be. And let him see you being nice. You're a woman. You know how to pour on the sweetness right?


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## Verony (Jan 29, 2013)

yes..but the thing is we are no communicating and meeting each other for that long. I do not know how long this going to continue. 
He did not reply when i asked him do he still want this marriage or not or work things out


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## caladan (Nov 2, 2012)

Yeah. He's probably not going to let you dictate when he decides. You can't control him, you can only control yourself. So make decisions YOU are able to make.


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## 82Baby (Jan 18, 2013)

My situation is very similar. My husband walked out on me almost a month ago for the same reason. There hasn't been any communication between us since. And, he has filed for divorce. He did not want to give us a second chance. So, what I'm doing is surrounding myself with positive people, keeping busy and praying. 

Just wait it out and start bettering yourself.


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