# Confused...seaching for answers.



## addictedtorun (Jun 17, 2010)

I have been married for 23 years. Four children, 6,8,10, 12...two adopted. I ment my husband in high school at age 15 and been with him ever since. he has always been the powerful one in the relationship, always made the decisions etc...Overall we have had a pretty good marriage...he doesn't contribute to much help around the house, well pretty much nil...however he does the outside work and he is a hard working man and provides well for the family...Apprx 7 years ago, I had a hard time with his job change, he was working with a women 6 days a week, as a partner, driving all over the province...I asked him to go to councelling with me, but he refused, telling me it was my problem and deal with it....It took me about a year, but I pulled my socks up and got over it.

In the last 3 years I have lost 60-80 lbs...kinda found myself...I run and mountain bike...I belong to a riding group that goes out every Sunday...Unfortunately not all the time is there women..but I would never go out one on one with a man...just doesn't look good...However I love mountain biking and enjoy the group rides...My husband has become very jealous, and admits this...he demeans me, telling me I have boyfriends, hollers at me all the time, I can't do anything right. Then after being terrible to me during the day, when we go to bed...well he expects things and I will, but feeling used because being hollered at and treating a person terrible, just not to romantic. he will push me to tears and then apologize. I want to have a tummy tuck in the fall because of all the weight loss has left extra skin that I dislike and I worked hard to get down to my weight...he is in total disagreement to this..saying i'm trying to impress someone..i'm doing it for me..he is always hollering at the children, making them work, which doesn't hurt them, however he makes them work hard and hollers at them if they are not doing what he expects at that moment...no patience...and the children are sooo young..
I have thought about giving up my activities, but called a counceller which suggested no, because we use activities to beat stress and also it is about our health...I really can't give it up, it has become a big part of who I am.

I love my husband, but I am having a big problem with this..alot of years and children involved...however I can't go on like this....Also he broke his leg very badly and has a hard time walking so he has a problem with that...I try to help him eat properly but he struggles and his health is not good...I know he has a problem with me having athletic friends, and sometimes it even comes down to my girlfriends...He also times me when i go to the store, when we go out to the bar, I'm not allowed to talk to anyone (men) that I know..and if I talk to women he wants all the details of who they are and how I know them....always thinking i'm up to something..

Help!


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