# To expose or not to expose?



## anonymiss (Jul 20, 2011)

So I just got concrete evidence of relationship. I logged into his facebook and printed their convo. Is it even worth exposing or should i just let them bury themselves? not to mention the thousands of texts between them. which all of this is going to the lawyer tomorrow morning! 
this is a great adrenaline rush, now I don't think I was the crazy one!


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

Ah, the old "Ace in the Hole!" Nah, keep your hand hidden. You can play it whenever you want. Depending on your situation and how you feel about it - expose it at the juiciest time.

Whatever you do, make sure you keep the evidence. Don't assume you will always have his login ID to facebook. Print it all out, including the OW's ID and profile and keep it hidden for a special day.

Do you know the OW? Is she married? etc. I can think of all kinds of interesting ways to expose this - figure out the maximum embarrasment scenario for both of them, then let them have it!


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## anonymiss (Jul 20, 2011)

Yes I know her. It's my best friend! LMAO I hope she knows what she's in for! No she's not married.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Who would you expose to?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Jellybeans said:


> Who would you expose to?


And what would be your point? Do you want to reconcile or punish? Either one is understandable, but you need to understand your motivation.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

brighterlight said:


> ...Depending on your situation and how you feel about it - expose it at the juiciest time...


Hence my comment above. I am not saying to definitely do this. It all depends on her end game and how she feels. 

But yeah, I would let them have it when the time is right. Just feeling like someone should get some payback. Being a cheater qualifies you for that.

Oh yeah, and "Best Friend?" Umm, not so much anymore.


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## lostintheworld1 (Aug 7, 2011)

I know you are hurt and angry but what would be the benefit of exposing it? Are you looking to reconcile or just be pissed and divorce. I assume he has no interest in holding on to your marriage. Sorry you are in that situation.


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## sprinter (Jul 25, 2011)

You'll have to disclose it at discovery, most likely.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

PBear said:


> And what would be your point? Do you want to reconcile or punish? Either one is understandable, but you need to understand your motivation.


:iagree:


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

exposing is for the following-

1) exposing to the OW/OM's spouse or SO, they have a right to know
2) exposing to the WS family and friends and job in order to halt an ongoing affair if reconciliation is your desire
3) exposing for health issues and safety if it's a serial cheater

I don't think this applies in your situation, so it's probably in your best interest that you let the divorce lawyer handle it


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

Almostrecovered said:


> exposing is for the following-
> 
> 1) exposing to the OW/OM's spouse or SO, they have a right to know
> 2) exposing to the WS family and friends and job in order to halt an ongoing affair if reconciliation is your desire
> ...


Yeah, I totally disagree with option 1. They are cheaters and he is an adulterer, they don't have a right to anything at this point. As for item 2, yeah, you can do that but forget about reconciliation after you've embarressed him at work; and 3, probably.

If you are feeling divorce right now, then I would juice it up. They are thinking you are stupid right now because they are hiding behind your back and think you don't know - make them look like the traitors that they are in front of family.

Man, oh man, where did I find this evil inside me these past couple of weeks! Oh wait, I know, maybe it's after being fired for 36 years of dedication, faithfulness, support and working my a$$ off for my family.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Confront, then expose. The thought here is to make the affair as inconvienent and as uncomfortable as possible to continue,

The DS will want to rewrite the marriage history and you will want support for the marriage from folks by informing them that you are not the bad guy and the dynamics of the marriage is being effected by the affair. 

The DS side of the family will be the ones that will want to see your proof when you ask them for supporting the marriage.

This is all great if you want the marriage, if not then use your proof to confront your spouse and move on. most likely your H will start to do damage controll and you will need the proof to clear your name.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

brighterlight said:


> Yeah, I totally disagree with option 1. They are cheaters and he is an adulterer, they don't have a right to anything at this point. As for item 2, yeah, you can do that but forget about reconciliation after you've embarressed him at work; and 3, probably.
> 
> If you are feeling divorce right now, then I would juice it up. They are thinking you are stupid right now because they are hiding behind your back and think you don't know - make them look like the traitors that they are in front of family.
> 
> Man, oh man, where did I find this evil inside me these past couple of weeks! Oh wait, I know, maybe it's after being fired for 36 years of dedication, faithfulness, support and working my a$$ off for my family.


I think option 1 was to tell the cheating other person's spouse, because that person has a right to know. Nothing to do with the rights of the scheating other person.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

the guy said:


> Confront, then expose. The thought here is to make the affair as inconvienent and as uncomfortable as possible to continue,
> 
> The DS will want to rewrite the marriage history and you will want support for the marriage from folks by informing them that you are not the bad guy and the dynamics of the marriage is being effected by the affair.
> 
> ...


So true on rewriting the marriage history! If you didn't keep a journal of your marriage over all the past years (as none of us ever thought the need to do) then you are scr**wed and you will have to figure out a way to cover for yourself. He will try to recreate things as they WERE NOT, so be prepared. And worst of all is he will have 30% to 40% of the people you know start to have doubts about you. So no matter what happens, you are responsible for his wayward ways - be ready for that!

For this reason, I stated in my previous posts that you need to make this really stick on him. Is his birthday coming up? How about wrapping up a nice gift for him with a false copy of a divorce decree/dissolution of marriage (make it look official though), attach to it all of your proof of infidelity and present it to him in front of his partygoers when it's gift opening time - and make sure to have your still or video camera ready - you won't want to miss the Kodak moment. Son of a B***ch! :rofl:

Just make sure that if you do this that you are ready for divorce.


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## ItHappenedToMe (Aug 5, 2011)

brighterlight said:


> Man, oh man, where did I find this evil inside me these past couple of weeks! Oh wait, I know, maybe it's after being fired for 36 years of dedication, faithfulness, support and working my a$$ off for my family.


Brighter, sorry to hear about the end of your career. That's really tough to deal with, especially after being there so long. 

Have you had a betrayal, too? How did you handle it?


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

ItHappenedToMe said:


> Brighter, sorry to hear about the end of your career. That's really tough to deal with, especially after being there so long.
> 
> Have you had a betrayal, too? How did you handle it?


Hi IHTM, What I meant by fired, I meant fired from my marriage as in, she is the one that ask for D. So I consider that being fired after 36 years of being together. Sorry, i didn't mean to confuse.


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