# my husband wants me to take the initiative



## cynthiaf (Jun 4, 2012)

I've been married for two years and our sex life is good. Only problem is that my husband wants me to take the initiative when it comes to sex. He wants me to seduce him. I know this might sound stupid, but I have no idea how. Where do I even start? Any ideas?
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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Here are some ideas: 

10 Tips on How to Seduce Your Husband Successfully

Your husband wants to feel like you are really turned on by him... that you want him.. not that it's just him who wants you.

Search the internet for "how to seduce my husband". There are plenty of places with good ideas.

Another idea.. When he comes home, meet him at the door wearing something sexy .. or nothing at all. If you have kids.. be in your bedroom and text him to come to our bedroom.

Take a pole dancing class and install a pole in your bedroom...

Or.. once a week at night, when the two of you get in bed.. start foreplay with him.. just reach over and start playing with him and nibbling on him. Or roll him over and start oral on him.


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## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

[I am a man ] A lot of us are very Visual so break out the sexy undies and follow what the poster above said or if you don't have kids break out the lube and bend over the couch/table ect when he walk in from work.Oral always works so unbuckle his pants and get the fun started or just lay him down and sit on his face. 
Take a shower with him and soap him up then off to bed 
The main thing is just to do it and have fun when you are doing it.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Good for you, Cynthia! Being open to learn is great, and a signal that your husband is a lucky guy.

It's a habit, like any other -- it may be hard to start but once you get into it, it's really not hard at all.

Some suggestions --

Text him during the day -- something sexy. Doesn't have to be explicit if you are not comfortable with that, just something like, "I can't wait to get you in bed tonight."

Invite him to take a shower with you before bed.

In the middle of your favorite TV show, lean over and whisper, "do you mind if we record the rest? Because I need you now."

Go out to eat and in the middle of dinner tell him you are not wearing underwear. (Caveat -- this works on about 75% of men, but will freak out the other 25%, so proceed with caution.)

When you're coming home from the store/restaurant/gym/wherever, lean over when you get in the car and whisper something sexy. If you cannot think of something sexy, just whisper "I want you."

And yes, pretty lingerie never hurts! If money is an issue, try Ross, they frequently have some sexy nighties for very cheap.


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## Aristotle (Apr 4, 2012)

Do everything lamaga said. Problem solved.


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## effess (Nov 20, 2009)

EleGirl said:


> Here are some ideas:
> 
> 10 Tips on How to Seduce Your Husband Successfully
> 
> ...


My wife would do #10 - and that's about it. She's roll her eyes at the rest of them and talk about how stupid they all are...........


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Effess, I'm very sorry about that. Why are they stupid? Have her call me!


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## Shiksa (Mar 2, 2012)

My H is not a lingerie guy. Last night I just hopped into bed naked as a jay bird. That always gets him going. Today as he was leaving for a meeting, I expressed my regret that we couldn't have a nooner. I did suggest that we could change it to an afternoon delight upon his return. Bet he spent the entire meeting thinking... cause he got home and oooh la la. Then it was off to pick the kids up.

See there are many ways to let them know you are in the mood. I can get myself in the mood thinking of ways to seduce him. Mo fun.


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## effess (Nov 20, 2009)

Lingerie or not its the thought of it that makes it special - that i care enough i love u enough i wantt you enough to try. 
That seducing or loving ur spouse in new ways is a priority to u instead of checking a box of your to-do list.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

A smile, a sultry voice, a gentle but firm kiss about the ears. Then unzip him. If he needs more of a cue than that he's dead.


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## Encore DT (May 29, 2012)

Actually it doesn't sound stupid at all...some guys live to be seduced


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

Wake him up in the middle of the night by giving him a b/j....


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## effess (Nov 20, 2009)

working_together said:


> Wake him up in the middle of the night by giving him a b/j....


I've asked for that for our entire marriage it still hasnt happened. it still hasn't happened and she will give me bj's but only after a shower to suck on 'stinky ****' in the middle of the night or in age morning is a no-go.
Alright i think im done w this thread its getting depressing


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## Aristotle (Apr 4, 2012)

working_together said:


> Wake him up in the middle of the night by giving him a b/j....


... you'll need a wrench to unwrap him from your finger. 


That's how you leave a man whipped. The fact my wife knows she doesn't have to give me an orgasm has made her extremely open to random bjs for fun.


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## happylovingwife (Jun 5, 2012)

effess said:


> I've asked for that for our entire marriage it still hasnt happened. it still hasn't happened and she will give me bj's but only after a shower to suck on 'stinky ****' in the middle of the night or in age morning is a no-go.
> Alright i think im done w this thread its getting depressing


Seriously? I can't believe this is such a thing for men. What's the appeal? I hate to be awoken for any reason so I can't wrap my brain around it. I'm willing to do it if it will make him gloriously happy.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

@Happy, believe it!


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

effess said:


> My wife would do #10 - and that's about it. She's roll her eyes at the rest of them and talk about how stupid they all are...........


#10 was a massage, right? Hey, at least you got that, so you're one up on me.


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

happylovingwife said:


> Seriously? I can't believe this is such a thing for men. What's the appeal? I hate to be awoken for any reason so I can't wrap my brain around it. I'm willing to do it if it will make him gloriously happy.


As a man, I can say that the best bj by far that I'd ever want to get is a wake up bj, but I'd gladly take a midnight/3 a.m./whatever time of night bj as well and call it a draw. I think it's not so much the bj itself, though obviously that's awesome, but to know your woman wants you so bad, or wants to please you so bad, she is willing to wake up in the middle of the night and do something solely for you like that is amazing. It really gets at the point the husband of the OP is trying to make. He wants to feel desired, wanted, etc. and that is one way to do it for sure. 

With my ex-wife, I did the middle of the night oral on her a few times and she woke up orgasming (or so she claims, I think she may have woke up earlier and pretended to still be asleep, not that it really matters). I know she loved it a lot. As a guy, I can guarantee I'd love it too. Why wake up thinking about how you have to get ready for work or how the kids are already fighting when you can wake up to an orgasm.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Kingsfan, well put! About 2-3 times/month, we have middle of the night sex where I wake him up...I keep thinking he'll complain about getting woken up, but not so far


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

I'm new here lamaga, but I've already formed the opinion they should allow you to be cloned.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

OK, that made me laugh...thank you


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

My wife joined me in the shower the other day. She washed me... Very thoroughly in places. Then she took me to bed and gave me an amazing BJ,

I felt totally seduced.


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## JoeRockStar (Jun 5, 2012)

Good for you for caring enough about your husband to try! I've asked my wife for years to show some initiative but it never, ever happens.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

FrenchFry...Wow. Just wow.

He sounds asexual or perhaps closeted gay to me. Sorry. I have no idea what to advise you!


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

FrenchFry said:


> Arrgh, so frustrating.
> 
> My husband has said the same thing. I read Elegirls list and well...
> 
> ...




FrenchFry, wow, if my wife did those things for me it would be like...

:allhail:


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

lamaga said:


> FrenchFry...Wow. Just wow.
> 
> He sounds asexual or perhaps closeted gay to me. Sorry. I have no idea what to advise you!


Not to me. He sounds more like he's enjoying the power of being either the LD spouse or just being in control. If he is requesting his spouse to initiate, then rebuffs her advances in bulk, but doesn't really provide much detail about what he wants, it just seems like he's enjoy the attention of being wanted and in control.

I always advise start with communication and just ask him what he wants or thinks about and go from there. Do the stuff he wants, as long as you are comfortable with it. If you aren't, seek a way to find a comprimise.

If he offers no solutions, then advise him that you have tried to find ways to be more assertive, many have been rebuffed, and without some guidance you have no idea what else to try. Then, if you want, back off and wait for him to approach you.

If you fail to get a positive result from this, there's a chance that something else much more serious is a cause, such as him losing desire in you, an affair, etc. 

In a positive relationship, not just sex life but relationship, communication should be open and free-flowing and should solve most problems. If it doesn't, there is often a larger reason behind it.


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

sandc said:


> FrenchFry, wow, if my wife did those things for me it would be like...
> 
> :allhail:


Quoted for truth. FrenchFry, if you are really trying all of these options, trust me, your husband would be in the minority in terms of how most men would act.


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## nader (May 4, 2011)

> Tried this, got kneed and thrown the **** off.


that's the saddest thing I've ever heard.

My wife's done this for me, maybe twice... I can't even describe how good it is when this happens. It is probably my favorite sex thing ever because it messes with my consciousness. I'm sleeping.. then I'm dreaming, then I open my eyes and see that it's _not_ a dream!

OP: text him a photo of your nipple!


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## cynthiaf (Jun 4, 2012)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## cynthiaf (Jun 4, 2012)

Hi everyone. Thanks for all the advice and suggestions. I tried a couple of things suggested and it worked like a bomb. Must say my husband was very impressed with me. I will keep trying more things and hopefully it will get easier to take the lead with time. Thanks again..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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