# POLL: What are your reasons for NOT having sex?



## toolate (Sep 22, 2009)

I have seen anger, resentment, fatigue, depression, control, manipulation. 

My reason for ever NOT having sex is if I am being lied to and feel betrayed. Otherwise, my trust is there and arguments dont bother me.

We come here and vent alot after the fact of the sex going sour or disappearing... but what happens to cause it? 

What are everyone elses reasons?


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## madimoff (Feb 17, 2010)

toolate said:


> I have seen anger, resentment, fatigue, depression, control, manipulation.
> 
> My reason for ever NOT having sex is if I am being lied to and feel betrayed. Otherwise, my trust is there and arguments dont bother me.
> 
> ...


I don't really consider fatigue a major problem reason - yes if you're too tired why shouldn't you cry off.... maybe even only for a few hours? .... depression, well maybe, thankfully even if I do suffer from it I don't think I or anyone else has ever diagnosed me so I can't use it as either an excuse or reason! Manipulation no never. Truly. Perish the thought. Nor control. Oftentimes people can be accused of using sex (or lack of, or denial of) as a means of controlling but I can honestly say I've never thought of doing that. 
Lying, betrayal..... well although yes that's appeared in our relationship with me as the 'victim' I think it's only affected us in what might be described as a proportional way. 
Anger and resentment. Well. As OP knows from posting on another thread, yes I believe argument/anger/resentment can have a major effect on a relationship and its sexual side. I haven't the book in front of me, but someone wrote something along the lines of why would you want to have sex with someone if you've been screaming at each other and being mean to each other for an hour/hours/days/weeks/whatever? 
I love my oh. I wouldn't be there if I didn't. I don't like some of his behaviours and that's a problem for me. It affects day to day life which in turn affects night (or any other) life. 
He'd say pretty much the same, and it's becoming me that wants to get our sex life on track more than him, I think. 
Make of that what you will. :scratchhead:


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Um. . .did it myself 2 hours ago?

:lol:

(but if you wait a couple, I'll be ready again  )


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## simple_girl (Mar 24, 2010)

I usually do not turn down... ever. I would say the few times I did was because of being in pain (recovering after surgery) and sheer exhaustion. Other than that, I don't see a reason not to.


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## Millania007 (Nov 16, 2009)

exhaustion, definitley both of our #1 reason for not having sex for a few days at a time, we both work full time and can get tired during the week pretty quickly


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## marcy* (Feb 27, 2010)

Stress mostly. When I feel sick, or tired.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Access to a willing and available female?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MsLady (Dec 1, 2008)

If I know he'll get his and won't bother to help me get mine.

Why bother?


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## KAS2007 (May 5, 2010)

He's fat and doesn't care about losing weight. He's covered in hair and won't discuss having it removed. He grosses me out, but I miss sex so much. It's been 2 years................


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## Crypsys (Apr 22, 2010)

For me? Only if I was dead. Although I will say I did turn it down once on my birthday. That was because we had about 12 people in the house downstairs and she wanted to do a "quickie" while we were upstairs. Talk about performance anxiety!!

For the Mrs? Mainly when she hasn't been cuddled enough or if shes sick/worried.


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## rsharpe (Apr 27, 2010)

IMHO-I cannot possibly fathom any reason for turning down sex...


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## mike1 (Jun 15, 2009)

I have turned it down a couple times when she's wanted it on her period. ewwwww. Other then that I would never turn down sex.


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## lovelieswithin (Apr 29, 2010)

If I am already in bed and had a long day at work to where I cant keep my eyes open... only time really
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gerrypony (Apr 14, 2010)

I only ever decline sex if I have my period, but my husband rarely initiates anyway.


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## x2startermom (Jan 8, 2010)

Most of the time I try to avoid sex due to it never seems satisfying. Though when hubby pushes a lot I'll just give in to shut him up about it. Then again what I do to try and avoid it is everything from going to bed early to putting my foot down.


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## LaCuriosa (Jan 13, 2010)

I can't remember the last time I declined, but then again, he rarely initiates. Barring emotional issues, I think I would only turn him down if I had a migraine (which I get once every year or two).

I get turned down regularly because he's "tired." But usually not too tired to go to the Y, mess around on the computer, watch TV, read a book, etc. He'll fill his time until bedtime. We do have the early bird (him) versus night owl (me) issue, but I'll gladly go to bed a couple of hours earlier or set the alarm earlier if needed. But then the kids might still be awake, and that's usually an issue for him.

LC


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## cherrypie18 (Feb 21, 2010)

toolate said:


> What are everyone elses reasons?


My husband turning me down. Oh and if I'm really sick/ill which happens rarely.


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## w.s.winstonsarah (May 4, 2010)

WOW I never trun it down!!! Why would you? Maybe my mind works in a dif. way, oh well I would never turn my wife down.
Ask and ye shal recieve


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## cherrypie18 (Feb 21, 2010)

w.s.winstonsarah said:


> Ask and ye shal recieve


In some cases it's ask and ye shall be turned down. lol


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## cowboyfan (Nov 15, 2009)

The biggest reason I have for NOT having sex is lack of an interested partner . Seriously, I think I've turned her down maybe once in our entire relationship (we've been together over 10 years), and it was because I was really sick. 

Her drive is getting better, though, her reasons previously have ranged from depression, self-confidence (weight) issues, stress, fatigue, etc. I have noticed as of late, though, as I'm kinda forcing some better communication in this area (sharing fantasies, introducing new toys, etc) she's become much more receptive and even initiates once in a while which is unheard of.


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## 2Daughters (May 13, 2010)

Does anyone else feel this way...if you initiate it and it is met with enthusiasm then it is the best sex...or you prod and poke and it is also met with enthusiasm then that is also great sex...but if after initiating you get the 'hurry up' or 'I'm too tired' or 'the kids' or well you get it, then that is a major 'deflator' to me...


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## cowboyfan (Nov 15, 2009)

2Daughters said:


> Does anyone else feel this way...if you initiate it and it is met with enthusiasm then it is the best sex...or you prod and poke and it is also met with enthusiasm then that is also great sex...but if after initiating you get the 'hurry up' or 'I'm too tired' or 'the kids' or well you get it, then that is a major 'deflator' to me...


Absolutely, it's a HUGE turnon for me when she initiates but if she receives my advances with enthusiasm that's also great and enough for me to be happy. But when I get less than an enthusiastic response, I sometimes wouldn't even finish it's that much of a turnoff...luckily that hasn't happened in a while, though.


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## bumpgrind1 (Mar 29, 2010)

I can't think of a good reason to turn my wife down....she, on the other hand, has all the reasons!


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## qwertyu (May 4, 2010)

I never say no to sex except for oral sex prior to shower..eeekss, I can't give or take it!!


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## w.s.winstonsarah (May 4, 2010)

cherrypie18 said:


> In some cases it's ask and ye shall be turned down. lol


Cherrypie
Honey Your just asking the wrong person


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## mom2threekiddos (May 19, 2010)

rsharpe said:


> IMHO-I cannot possibly fathom any reason for turning down sex...


This is exacly how I see it now in my life. I feel sex deprived at this time, so any sex I will take, at any time! :lol:


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## w.s.winstonsarah (May 4, 2010)

mom2threekiddos said:


> This is exacly how I see it now in my life. I feel sex deprived at this time, so any sex I will take, at any time! :lol:


:smthumbup::toast:


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## Pepper (Mar 23, 2010)

Sex? Isn't that the thing we did when we were dating?


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