# Husband making the same mistakes, what should a family member do



## Bobby5000 (Oct 19, 2011)

I write regarding a family member. He is a nice man, a concerned father, and a good person. He is in sales and I think reasonably knowledgeable about his position. If given the chance to meet customers, he is smart and knowledgeable in determining their needs and where appropriate explaining how his product can fit (which is an expensive computer product). 

Sadly he has lost perhaps 5 sales jobs in the last 12 years, and dealing with bill-collectors, foreclosing banks, utility issues has put tremendous pressure on his wife who inexplicably does not work. With some reasonable supervision, I think he would be a good employee. 

Unfortunately, he works at home for a substantial salary, is expected to make a number of sales, is given few leads, does relatively little work on his own to generate work, and is typically terminated about 1-2 years after hiring (not generating substantial sales) creating another emergency for his family. 

While having a job, he spends most of the time at work watching Fox News and complaining about Obama. I think a typical 40 hour work week would be 

Fox News, complaining about Obama foreign policy 15 hours 
Fox News, complaining about Obama domestic 15 hours
Preparing memos for the company, 
generating leads 10 hours

I have suggested that in addition to making sales calls, he prepare detailed memos for his supervisors suggesting new practice areas, discussing seminars, and initiating contacts. While he did some of this initially when he first got his new job, it seems things are back to, Do you know what Obama did his is like Hitler, he's a Fascist, do you know what a Fascist is, how about Bengazi. His wife has likewise taken on some of these extreme beliefs, though it seems to depress her talking about it. In contrast, he loves politics. Interestingly, they take advantage of more social programs that the average person because they are sadly frequently in debt and in need of help. 

Any suggestions on making him into a good employee, getting him to do work without supervision, and document his work programs, proposals, so that people have a reason to pay him if sales are not immediately forthcoming. I am worried that we are looking at another disaster at the end of the year. Any suggestions about explaining that working hard (a seemingly conservative idea) is the secret to success rather than blaming others such as Obama for problems.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Unless they're immediate family, I'd say keep your nose out of it. I doubt any advice you give will fall on open ears, in any case. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Bobby5000 (Oct 19, 2011)

I can't disagree with you. My wife gets calls about their situation regularly and it's hard to hear about programs when you think you have reasonable solutions beforehand. 



PBear said:


> Unless they're immediate family, I'd say keep your nose out of it. I doubt any advice you give will fall on open ears, in any case.
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lewmin (Nov 5, 2012)

Bobby - can you imagine if he and his wife put as much energy into their work as they do with anti-Obama stuff..they'd be okay. I think you know that they are avoiding their own issues and blame-shifting the President. By the way, maybe you should remind them that under this President the Dow Jones has gone from 7000 to 17000 and the S and P has also returned like 150%!!! This is unprecedented in US History. So instead of complaining, if they were both gainfully employed and socking money into their 401K, IRA's, Roth's and the like (into equities), they'd be really happy with their president, wouldn't they?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

lewmin said:


> Bobby - can you imagine if he and his wife put as much energy into their work as they do with anti-Obama stuff..they'd be okay. I think you know that they are avoiding their own issues and blame-shifting the President. By the way, maybe you should remind them that under this President the Dow Jones has gone from 7000 to 17000 and the S and P has also returned like 150%!!! This is unprecedented in US History. So instead of complaining, if they were both gainfully employed and socking money into their 401K, IRA's, Roth's and the like (into equities), they'd be really happy with their president, wouldn't they?


I think the problem wasn't so much their political stance, but his lack of work ethic. I could be wrong, however (as I post this from my desk)...

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WalterWhite (Sep 14, 2012)

Bobby, Fox News is not considered extreme. What the Obama admin does is extreme.

You should keep your nose out of their business, even though I agree with your assessment of these people.

Was the point of your post to zing conservatives?

Your friends may be republicans by label, but their behavior is classic Left Wing.

I know many people that are losers just like your friends, of all political affiliations.

As the years pass, you'll find more and more people like your friends.

We can't fix stupid lol.


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## papa5280 (Oct 12, 2011)

There's no need to make this thread about politics. It just sounds like the man is lazy and unambitious. If Fox News wasn't available to him, or wasn't his thing, he'd spend his days watching Spongebob and complaining about Patrick.

Given that, there's nothing the family can do. He will decide how hard he wants to work, and his wife will need to decide if she is OK with that, or needs to make a change in her marital status.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

papa5280 said:


> If Fox News wasn't available to him, or wasn't his thing, he'd spend his days watching Spongebob and complaining about Patrick.


This made me laugh!










Sorry, couldn't resist... :lol:


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Bobby5000 said:


> While having a job, he spends most of the time at work watching *Fox New*s


That there is the problem.



Kidding.

(not really).

Hehehe.

Sounds like he needs to either get responsible or accept he is never going to be productive.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Fox is the most ridiculously extreme station there is. It was created specifically to spread an agenda.

Anyway, I would suggest that you find this person some sort of seminar to attend. The kind where they have him work through a workshop of sorts, in how to run a successful business; teach him stuff he may not be aware of, show him how easy it is to do, and get him fired up to make some changes. There are tons of such seminars out there; maybe you could offer to go with him.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Bobby5000 said:


> While having a job, he spends most of the time at work watching Fox News and complaining about Obama. I think a typical 40 hour work week would be
> 
> Fox News, complaining about Obama foreign policy 15 hours
> Fox News, complaining about Obama domestic 15 hours
> ...


Lol

Obviously he's in the wrong profession


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## Bobby5000 (Oct 19, 2011)

My post was really not about politics. The point was how do you help someone or help address a problem. We have another family member who runs a local tea-party, they spend a reasonable amount of time, it doesn't interfere with the rest of their lives and they are trying to make the world better from their perspective. 

His situation is that he has created serious problems for himself and his family and seems to be on the same destructive course. He is accomplishing nothing to advance conservative courses with his diatribes and just makes family functions increasingly uncomfortable. If you were a conservative businessman, would you want someone working 50 hours a week analyzing your business, crafting solutions or telling you nothing new boss, and watching the same Fox Show about Bengazi during the work day.


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

I'm being a bit facetious, but maybe an anonymous letter(s) telling him one definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results....


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

I don't have advice, but I will say that Fox News is poison, much like video games for teenage boys.

I have seen people get caught up in that crap and be turned into cynical, sniveling Automatons that does not rival any other network, sorry to say, Conservatives.

I don't see Liberals caught up MSNBC or CNN to the same degree. yeah, they may be fans of NPR and think they're all "high brow" for listening to it, but I don't see the rabid devotion to it that I see from Fox News.

Now, all that said, I think it's very hard to sustain a sales job with making calls to what needs to be done. Usually sales people need seminars/webinars to kind of motivate them from the daily rejection they receive.

That may be a positive suggestion to look into - quarterly meetings where he gets away and become motivated and disconnected from Faux News.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Scannerguard said:


> I don't have advice, but I will say that Fox News is poison, much like video games for teenage boys.
> 
> I have seen people get caught up in that crap and be turned into cynical, sniveling Automatons that does not rival any other network, sorry to say, Conservatives.
> 
> I don't see Liberals caught up MSNBC or CNN to the same degree. yeah, they may be fans of NPR and think they're all "high brow" for listening to it, but I don't see the rabid devotion to it that I see from Fox News.


Yep. Watched it happen to my very own brother. Turned from an open-minded, giving, gracious man into a mean, nasty, bigoted, hate-filled man who consequently lost his wife to his addiction to Fox News.


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