# BFF??



## Smackdown (Feb 21, 2011)

This is a big, loaded question so sit back, have a beer and think about it before you post back.
My wife is down right crazy, she cheated and it's been my problem, she's never "owned" her actions. Just when MC was about to make a breakthru she throws a fit for 6 days about an argument that's been going on for years. I've been good but am also tired of fighting (I'm a lover, not a fighter), so I went to see a lawyer. She asked for a separation and I said "Ok, sounds good to me." I think she's in shock, she expected me to break down and plea w/ her. I have the $$$ for the divorce and will file papers on Mon.
Now when I say she's crazy, I am not joking. Crazy runs in her family, she knows deep down she's sick but won't get help, I have her text where she admits she's gone off the deep end.
Now the question- I am a lover, I did forgive her for the affair but I can't watch her make the same mistakes like she did before. I will always love her, I will never stop loving my kids, I want her and I to be friends just so I can keep my relationship w/ my children, what are the chances?
She asked for the separation, @ 6pm, @ 10pm she asked why I was so happy and how I could leave her and the kids.....it was her who said she'd had enough, I'm just going to follow thru on her wishes.
The real bad part-She can't ever admit she's wrong, ever. Every fight we've ever had she had to lie weeks later to put herself in the right, she's doing the same thing now. She said "I think we should separate." and hrs later she makes me be the guy who's running away. Both my girls are mentally ill, one is the spitting image of her, mean, cruel, and self centered.
I feel this is going to be a loose/loose situation.
I am happy she asked to split :smthumbup: but I fear she'll use the children as ammo to hurt me.
What do you think?
Girls are Bi-polar, she is depressed and is on meds (more in likely she BP too but she can't admit it.)
Thanks!
Mouse


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

Smackdown said:


> I will always love her, I will never stop loving my kids, I want her and I to be friends just so I can keep my relationship w/ my children, what are the chances?
> She asked for the separation, @ 6pm, @ 10pm she asked why I was so happy and how I could leave her and the kids.....it was her who said she'd had enough, I'm just going to follow thru on her wishes.


There's probably close to no chance at all that you will remain friends with her if you divorce. If she's as bad as you say she is, her feelings against you will intensify. She fully expects you to stay attached to her and will respond with enormous drama should you try and leave her. You leaving her is probably one of her greatest fears.


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

:iagree: nothing more to add.


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## Smackdown (Feb 21, 2011)

Atholk said:


> There's probably close to no chance at all that you will remain friends with her if you divorce. If she's as bad as you say she is, her feelings against you will intensify. She fully expects you to stay attached to her and will respond with enormous drama should you try and leave her. You leaving her is probably one of her greatest fears.


WOW! I never thought of that, I was thinking the opposite, she's been wanting me to leave and I've been just plain stupid. It makes sense but she'll be fine all alone, she always is. Excellent insight! Thanks! I feel better already!
Mouse


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## Smackdown (Feb 21, 2011)

Well she's been doing everything right to get me to stay but I can see her heart hasn't changed, she just going thru the motions. I did tell her she has til Mon. to have that change of heart I'm looking for b/c once I sign, I'm done, I've given her every chance there is and she's done nothing to help us. She just looks @ me and tells me it's my meltdown and I need to handle myself!!
Mouse


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Smackdown said:


> .
> My wife is down right crazy, she cheated and it's been my problem, she's never "owned" her actions.
> The real bad part-She can't ever admit she's wrong, ever.


It's hard to be with someone who won't own any of their part. 



Smackdown said:


> I'm looking for b/c once I sign, I'm done, I've given her every chance there is and she's done nothing to help us.


Whatever boundary you feel is best, you should stick to it. If you have any doubt and want to work it out, then don't file just yet. If you are convinced otherwise and you want out, go for it. She prob doesn't think you will go through with it. Promise.

As for your kids, protect yourwself. If you do end up filing, make sure you stipulate what custodial arrangment you want. Get it in writing asap.


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