# What Do You Wish You Knew Before?



## LittleBird (Jan 12, 2013)

Long story short, what sexual questions do you wish you'd asked 20 years ago?


Obviously, people change. You can't really get a solid gage on sexuality since it is always changing. 

I was talking to my fiancé (after make up sex, the best kind) and we randomly started talking about this.

Clearly, how often would have saved a lot of people trouble but even that changes.

But fantasy wise? Did you all bare your freaky skeletons and wave your nasty banner high? :lol: 

Or did you not discover some of your kinks, fantasies whatever until after marriage?

Are there certain things each partner should make clear it's a "never gonna happen?"

If I had a dime for every male friend who complains that their gf/wife told them "Maybe" only to say "Hell no" later on. 

Just wondering, this thread is meant to be light hearted. I've had some wine


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## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

I think if people put their fanatsies out there before they got married half this board would not be here which would be a good thing,My wife knew I like porn,she knew I liked a lot of sex,she knew I was into toys and I knew the two girls thing would not happen with her and I was able to live with that lol .

If she would not have been OK with any of the stuff above she could have walked because I was not going to hide anything or change so put it out there .We have been together for 24 years.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

If I knew what my wife would be like before we got engaged 13+ years ago, I would of warned myself, not to marry her and find someone else. I would tell myself she would be a great friend, but don't get married to her because of her low sex drive, size, and does nothing about this year after year, etc.

I've applied the alpha male thing, read e-books and it all helped a bit, but overall, didn't change her much. Like some have said here, if she actually wants sex (maybe 1 - 2 times a month) and you say no, not in the mood, it'll be 1 more month of no sex.

We get along fine, no fights, but little to no intimacy / sex, no fantasies, no movies, no shower together, you get the idea. I want all of this, my wife does not. Oh well, be a man and suck it up.....


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## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

CuddleBug-If you want a life start making plans and leave,once again people are just waiting to see who dies first.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

I think I will stop weight training at home and get a gym pass. Get more of a life and out there. For now, room mates we are until she significantly changes. Cheers.


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## harsosuao (Jan 17, 2013)

she knew I was into toys and I knew the two girls thing would not happen with her and I was able to live with that lol .


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## LittleBird (Jan 12, 2013)

CuddleBug said:


> If I knew what my wife would be like before we got engaged 13+ years ago, I would of warned myself, not to marry her and find someone else. I would tell myself she would be a great friend, but don't get married to her because of her low sex drive, size, and does nothing about this year after year, etc.
> 
> I've applied the alpha male thing, read e-books and it all helped a bit, but overall, didn't change her much. Like some have said here, if she actually wants sex (maybe 1 - 2 times a month) and you say no, not in the mood, it'll be 1 more month of no sex.
> 
> We get along fine, no fights, but little to no intimacy / sex, no fantasies, no movies, no shower together, you get the idea. I want all of this, my wife does not. Oh well, be a man and suck it up.....


If you really love this woman, is 2x a month really enough to wish you'd never married her?

Just curious.


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

If my husband decided he only wanted sex twice a month, I would send him to the doctor first, and if it wasn't medical and he refused to try more often, the marriage would be over. And I hope it would be for him too. Twice a month is simply not enough. Not for me. I need the intimacy, the closeness. I didn't marry to be practically celibate. 

Before marriage my husband said he would not like anal and didn't understand people who did. After marriage it changed, and anal is one of his greatest fantasies. Unfortunately for him, his penis is far too big for my anus. And with my UTI issues, I don't think it's realistic.

Other than that...no. My husband and I had awesome sex before marriage, and even better sex after marriage.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Too many countless times I spontaneously make the move on my wifee and she rolls her eyes, you just got it a few days ago, or maybe later and don't pressure me or maybe tomorrow or she has even got me worked up and fallen asleep. Yet I have never done this to her, ever!!

The only way I could see sex 2x a month is fine, I'm retired and 65+ years old, otherwise, why have sex, intimacy, that connection at all?

2x a month is practically celibate, very true. Even my Mom told me, only 2x a month and you have no kids yet, in your 20's and now 30's? That's not right, at least 3 - 4x a week, when you get time, etc.....MY MOM of all people.

If I wasn't a physical guy, needing sex, intimacy, fantasies, etc. I would marry her again but since I am a physical guy, nope. I will just go out more, do things more for me now and leave her be. If she actually wants sex, maybe I'm not in the mood, tomorrow, later.......

We haven't had sex in about 2 weeks again so our marriage is like a room mate situation and we don't do much together. I will not initiate because of the rejections, so if she actually is in the mood (SHOCK), I'm tired. See how she likes it. And once its been 1 month of no sex, that power over me is gone and I don't crave sex. Actually, I'm getting to that point now already.

The people here who haven't had sex in 1+ years, I don't know how you live with yourselves.

But I will suck it up, be a man, take it, and do more things for myself now. If she wants to live in her clueless world, so be it.


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