# Husband moved back home but sleeps in spare room



## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

My timeline is:

August 2011: Husband tells me our marriage is over and he wants to separate and eventually divorce. Cites problems over past few years.

Sept 2011: I do a 180. Start moving on with my own plans and tell him no contact.

Oct 2011: He calls me and says he wants to come over and talk about "us". He comes over and tells me he misses me and our child and wants to now work on our marriage. We agree to marriage counselling together and he agrees to get counselling for his own issues. He states he still does not want to come home.

End of Oct 2011: He calls and says he wants to come back home. I say ok. He moved back a week ago. He is sleeping in the spare room. No affection between us, but peace and friendliness. He sort of does his own thing and I do mine.

Tried to talk to him today about it. He said some things that raised red flags. 
1. He does not want to sleep in our bed with me because if it "doesn't work out" he does not want to hurt me more. 
2. How is my job hunting going? (been a SAHM for 8 yrs) he wants me to now earn an income 
3. Am I in a happy place? 
4. Said one of the reasons he moved home was because it was practical and cheaper than living apart.

Our house is in foreclosure and we could have to move in about a month. Before he told me he wanted to come home, I had told him I was planning on filing for divorce/legal sep so I could have proof of income when I went to rent an apartment. Then he came home and I didnt do it because I want to try on fixing our marriage.

I so want to believe he has positive intentions, and I am trying so hard to give him the benefit of the doubt that he will not leave me homeless when our house forecloses. BUT I have a nagging feeling that he is planning on splitting when we have to move out. It just seems like he is not realy committed to our relationship. He says he wants to work on it but I see him sitting on the fence. I dont know what to do, I am so confused and worried. Any thoughts on my situation?


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## reindeer (Mar 24, 2011)

I agree that not sleeping together is a good idea as it does complicate the issue. However I wonder what has happened to the marriage counselling? He agrred to that yet you have not mentioned it. That would be a committment,and not free rent!


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## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

We have been going to marriage counselling once a week. I thought it was going well but he gives positive vibes in the counselling sessions and weird vibes at home.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

I'd throw his a*ss out. I think he's playing you big time. Do what you need to survive. He can live someplace else and be your "friend". File for divorce, consult an attorney and get your own place. It's piss or get off the pot time. Time for YOU to call the shots. Right now, you are just a log floating along in his river.. You have to change that. 

You need to stand on your own two feet now and not look to him. I know it's hard, been there, done that. But when you do get on your own it WILL feel good. 

The first step is the hardest one in a journey.


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

I also quickly glanced at your other threads.

It appears that your husband may have recently got dumped by his recent love interest.

If you're divorcing he should be paying you child and spousal support.


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