# No sex drive



## MQue (Aug 25, 2012)

I was hoping to get some insight on my scenario.

My husband and have a amazing relationship, and we compliment each other very well. I honestly don't know what I would do without him at times, and to be quiet honest I am not sure what he would do without me! The one thing our relationship is lacking is sex!

He has never been overly sexual, and I would say when we started dating(almost 5-years ago) we were probably intimate 2-3 times a week, which to me was a good amount. As time went by he has slowly lost interest in sex almost all together. We probably get intimate 1 time a month now, which is obviously not a sufficient amount. When asked about why he has a lack of interest he always tell me that he is tired, or not in the mood. I have expressed to him how important this element of our relationship is, and how his actions really hurt my feeling, and he always says that he'll work on it but nothing changes. I don't know what to do! 

I have ran every scenario through my head and I can't figure it out. I know he is not cheating on me because between work and life he docent have time (and he's a really bad liar anyways so I would know!). I thought that maybe he was looking a porn, but I never find any porn on the computers history, and again he's not good at hiding things so I highly doubt he even thinks to erase the history. My physical appearance has not changed, I am tan, blonde and a size 4! I know he is not gay - he dosent hide it when he glances at other women. I have never noticed anything that would indicate he has ED or any other type of disability in that region. It always works just fine, its just a matter of him agreeing to make it work!

I am just lost! I honestly have not idea what the issue is. 

As I said I love him to death and I honestly don't think I could find someone who could love me anymore than he does (or finding someone I love just as much as him), so leaving him is not an option.

Also, as of late he has be talking about wanting to have a baby.....I don't know how he thinks that is going to happen if these "issues" don't get worked out!

Any opinions or advice is welcome. Thanks!


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

sex therapy!!!!!!!!

2-3 times is the minimum a couple should have a week.

yes i wouldnt be giving a baby to him any time soon if that cant get worked out. the sex will plumit very much after the baby comes.

THose are excuses he is giving you not to have sex.
How are you guys emotionally as of right now?
Have you expressed to him that he is not fulfilling your needs?
If so, hat does he say?


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## marriedinct46 (Aug 25, 2012)

wow im sorry i dont have useful advice because im in the SAME EXACT SITUATION - i actually just posted an almost identical thread. i catch my guy looking at other girls too and yet im starting to wonder if hes gay because he NEVER tries to have sex with me ... EVER.

i wish i had help for you - and me. its definitely a sad situation and ruining my otherwise wonderful marriage. i have voiced this problem to my husband many times and he gets defensive, sometimes says he has low drive and sometimes is just sad.. how does yours react?


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## marriedinct46 (Aug 25, 2012)

its actually refreshing to read that you are in the same situation - i am also young and a size 4 and i really thought i was the only one like this. im so worried. please let me know if anything works for you - are you thinking of counseling?


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## DrunkenH (Jul 29, 2012)

Some people, men and women alike, are low sex drive types. I'm one myself. I probably couldn't go 2-3 times a week with a gun to my head. I don't think there's any "fixing" it. It just is. I think that people need to decide what they're willing to live with (or live without) sexually, and choose their partners accordingly.


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## MQue (Aug 25, 2012)

He is very affectionate (cuddling kissing, hugs ect.), and thoughtful, and we have very meaningful honest conversations. Other than the lack of sex he fulfills me.

I have expressed my dissatisfaction to him numerous times (usually in tears), and he ALWAYS apologizes and reassures me that he still loves me and is still attracted to me.

There are times (rare times) that he will surprise me, initiate intimacy and be REALY into it, which is great! But the majority of the time it is just me being turned down for TV, because he is too tired.....


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## MQue (Aug 25, 2012)

I understand that some people just have lower sex drives. I just don't understand why this change happened? At the beginning it was "normal", and now that part of our lives together is just vacant.

I am to the point that I would be happy with just once a week!!!


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## MQue (Aug 25, 2012)

What also confuses me is the fact that he like to "talk a big game", in reference to sex. Ie. things he would like to do or try. And he like to make small sexual references (about us) when he is around other people. Its not necessarily that he is trying to brag, he just likes to make comments.


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## Shiksa (Mar 2, 2012)

how old is he? Has he had his testosterone levels checked? My H was in the same boat, and it turned out he had low T levels. Worth a check, because it certainly has helped my H with his libido.


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## CaliRN (Jan 2, 2010)

Exercising and watching porn together might get the engines running
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

CaliRN said:


> Exercising and watching porn together might get the engines running
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Highly recommend exercise! 








_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

Stress and or depression will certainly contribute to low sex drive and constantly feeling tired. Any chance he's suffering from either of these?


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## lisa1975 (Jun 8, 2012)

You have eliminated cheating and porn, I can assume he is not gay (??), that leaves us with a medical problem. He should see a doctor about this, it could be lack of testosterone, or sime pill that he is taking, something to do with his health - Physical or mental.


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## LaurenceSext (Aug 31, 2012)

THose are excuses he is giving you not to have sex.


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