# Pre-marital instructions on married sex



## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

I was wondering how many in the forum attended like a Pre-cana (sp?) or a formal "education" by the Church they were married in and what they said about marital sex and the relationship to marriage.

I must admit we did not attend any education; maybe it would have helped to have something to reference, maybe it wouldn't in my failed marriage.

I am curious what the various doctrines are out there and what the churches, temples and synagogues preach.

Thanks in advance.


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## Crypsys (Apr 22, 2010)

Hmm, we had something but it obviously didn't make a big impact on my life because I don't remember a darn thing about it or what was said in it...


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

We did pre cana. It had zero impact on us. 

Read mating in captivity. And read at least one book on being assertive. 



Scannerguard said:


> I was wondering how many in the forum attended like a Pre-cana (sp?) or a formal "education" by the Church they were married in and what they said about marital sex and the relationship to marriage.
> 
> I must admit we did not attend any education; maybe it would have helped to have something to reference, maybe it wouldn't in my failed marriage.
> 
> ...


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## momof6girls (Jan 11, 2010)

Pre cana... hey we did it... here is how it went.

10 couples getting ready to get married two priest that never were or could ever get married... and 2 couples that were married for years (i mean years) we were 20 and 25 and the couples talking to us were married longer than we were alive.

they talk about oddness of seeing each other for the 1st time... (ooo most in the room had that ops look already did that) and then communication and love and respect stuff....

in short stuff you already know and really didn't go into stuff like when you don't get along or the 1st time he or she don't or cant work or finish or... well lets say it is clean cut class done in the church way so NOpe no help.....

most marriages don't make it thru to the 1st 5 years... and if they do then most make it to the 10 to 15 year mark then fall apart after the kids are grown.... after that only about 10% marriages that do make it are happy or complete... the rest just figure to late to start over now.... (that is the odds pre cana gave us)


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## HappyHer (Nov 12, 2009)

I feel there is a need for updated education. Not in a religious aspect as there is so much diversity, but in down to earth terms that would give couples skills and tools they may not be aware that they may even need until they've been married for awhile.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Interesting. . .of course, maybe it's just because I am academically interested in it, but I would think any church, temple or synagogue would actually discuss church doctrine and marital sex - the concept of consummation, the "marital embrace", I know the Catholic Church (pre-cana) is big on "naturalism" being a part of religious doctrine.

This why they are so anti-****-sexual (and I am not saying I agree or disagree - just giving what I understand their position is - I am not a formal apologist) - they beleive it an unnatural act. . .along with anal sex - that the rectum wasn't designd to hold an inflated penis and the anus is an exit, not an entrance.

Yeah, the whole celebate Priest thing is another issue of effecting good leadership in marriage. I do understand a lot of people won't respect what a celebate Priest has to say about marriage.

However, believe it or not, I kind of agree with the Church's position on marraige and priesthood.

Having been through a failed marriage and being a semi-leader in the community, it's never fun to kind of have your marriage on display.

Can you imagine that if you were a Priest and your wife was *****ing to you about never being home because you're out all hours of the night giving last rites, and crap. . .you never spend time with the kids. . .you're a crappy father, you know. . .and you know, you could get a better paying job so we could take a vacation once in awhile? It's all about the church, church, church!! I"m sick of this!!!! 

And the whole congregation had to know about that?

I think the Church knows what it's doing when it says, "No wives!" to it's Priests.

Who needs that kind of trouble? LOL.


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## momof6girls (Jan 11, 2010)

Life is a balance and we all work thru it, i am just saying hard to get advice from a man (priest) or women (nun) that have and can never be that level with another person (sexual) 

yes there is a level of peace i am sure not having the nagging but what about the support of a women (not all nag) who also believes in the church and helping others and sharing there time and life giving to others and also have some one to go home to and talk about things and well be there for each other.

many religions let priest marry and yes some go great and others not so much but that is life right.

again i just say pre canna or the making a couple attend before they can confess there love in a church is a bit over rated.


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