# I'm ok he is on ****** *******?



## Axete (Jan 4, 2016)

He was my first real boyfriend. I wasn't even thinking clearly being caught up in this new world of dating. When I finally thought about contraception it was too late. I was already pregnant and only knew the guy a few weeks. 
The pregnancy was hard. Emotionally and physically. In between his rants of me 'trapping' him, he was good and supportive. We moved in with each other for years I was lost in a delusional La La Land of happiness. 
After the birth of our 2nd child, we set a wedding date. I thought the fighting was related to the cost of the wedding. I even brought a cheap $100 dress from China to save on money. But deep down I'm sure I knew it wasn't right. 
The next few years was sexual non-existant and the fighting continued. Until I told him enough was enough. We got help and everything changed. For the first time we were happy. Mucking around like love struck teenagers.
Then he asked me to print off an email for him. He had emails from porn and dating sites. I thought they were just spam emails and thought nothing of them. But I kept having this niggly tug in the back of my head. So I investigated further. He was signed up for various sites and his internet history was full of it. On one site he messaged women saying he was looking for casual flings only. I was heartbroken. When I confronted him? He blamed me for not trusting him and invading his privacy. Then apologised and said he was ashamed. We talked over the reasons and I forgave him. (There's that La La Land again).
But I think I never truly forgave him or trusted him again. Our fights escalated. The kids were unhappy. Finally I told him I didn't know how to fix it. He sat in silence and nodded. But we vowed to make it work. 

But the trust still wasn't there and I checked his emails again. He had learned how to delete his browsing history. But his emails showed messages from ****** *******. He has a profile with messages between multiple woman. I looked at his profile for a long time. But I wasn't angry or hurt at all. I felt almost relieved. Finally I had realised the real reality that it just wasn't going to work. I had given up on trying. And I was at peace. I could imagine a life without him and I looked happy. The kids looked happy. 

I am going to be ok.


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## nursejackie (May 22, 2015)

I am so happy for you. You will finally find some peace. You WILL be ok. Best of luck


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

Axete said:


> Finally I had realised the real reality that it just wasn't going to work. I had given up on trying. And I was at peace. I could imagine a life without him and I looked happy. The kids looked happy.
> 
> I am going to be ok.


It sounds like you are going to do just fine. Does he know you are going to pull a plug?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

You are on your way to a new and better life. Good for you.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

I am so glad. I am worried about your daughter being alone with him, though.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

He let you print off the email and whined about invasion of privacy?

Yes. Moving on is a good idea. He is too stupid for you. 

Find someone smarter next time. 

Good luck to you and your children.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Kivlor (Oct 27, 2015)

jld said:


> I am so glad. I am worried about your daughter being alone with him, though.


Why would you be worried about that?


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Kivlor said:


> Why would you be worried about that?


See her other thread.


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## Kivlor (Oct 27, 2015)

jld said:


> See her other thread.


I did. Why would you be worried about her Husband being alone with his daughter?


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

I believe I explained it over there.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Kivlor (Oct 27, 2015)

jld said:


> I believe I explained it over there.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


No, you asserted your fears, with no justifications. It's a pretty serious thing to imply a parent fear permitting the other parent access to their child. Even OP admitted she didn't see the Husband's behavior as abusive. 

I think you are projecting your fear of your father into this 
situation JLD.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Kivlor said:


> I think you are projecting your fear of your father into this
> situation JLD.


Could be. I hope the OP will seek counseling to find out what will be in her children's best interests going forward.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Kivlor (Oct 27, 2015)

jld said:


> Could be. I hope the OP will seek counseling to find out what will be in her children's best interests going forward.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I will agree with that. Counseling is in order. I think she said she doesn't have the money. I hope she seeks out a charity or church that provides it


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