# Low libido after baby...how long will it last?!



## Missy_Mrs79 (Jan 22, 2015)

I used to be a frequent poster (missymrs79...forgot password & no longer have access to email my account was tied to)...now I am back. I had a baby 6 months ago and just stopped nursing. My libido has been next to nothing. How long will this last? This is my first. It's not about lack of time or feeling tired or ill feelings toward my DH....I just don't feel like I used to.


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## Pooh Bear (Dec 28, 2014)

Congratulations on the new baby. Your little one is just a few months younger than mine. My son is 10 months. Have you talked with your doctor or midwife? I think it must be normal with the way your body changes after pregnancy and the exhaustion of having a new baby. I didn't have that problem but I know some women do. Do you think it's just exhaustion? Have you struggled with post-partum depression? Maybe it is just a matter of getting a babysitter for the night. Although I know that can be a challenge unless you have family there. It's so amazing having a new baby and so exhausting!


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## tommyr (May 25, 2014)

Forget about libido. Just have great sex, regularly. If it helps, schedule it for certain days and/or put it on your phone calendar.

Then at some point down the road, you will realize that your libido is perfectly fine after all.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

While nursing it could take up to a full year.

The most important things you can do to bring back your sex drive are getting enough sleep, working out, and just thinking about sex. Thinking about sex will jump start the arousal hormones. It will start very slow and subtle. But the more you think about it the more it builds. Masturbate to arousal as often as you can. If you can bring yourself to climax a couple of times a week, while continuing to think about sex, recalling those moments when it was super hot and erotic with your H, the neural pathways to arousal become "better paved" and easier to traverse.

You can't just wait for things to go back, you have to work them back.

What I wrote above is what I WISH I had known back when I was having babies.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

badsanta said:


> So you are telling me that I have a 24-lane super highway plus a Maglev ultrasonic train in my neural pathways for sex since I have been self exploring rigorously since I was a teen? ....Yes, that sounds about right!


Exactly! I've said this before in other posts.

Because men have that bump of testosterone, they are more driven to think about sex. It's not JUST the testosterone but the neural pathways that are built and paved each time arousal is achieved. The more it happens the easier it happens, unless something else blocks the pathways like physical or emotional pain.

Yes, the more you think about sex and become aroused the easier it becomes to ...think about sex and become aroused. :smthumbup:


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

OP, the fact that you're even asking this question is a good sign.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

Has your period come back? Since you just stopped nursing, your libido will probably be back within the next 2 months or so as your hormones level out. A lot of breastfeeding moms have no sex drive and that's normal. It's natures way of spreading out babies. As time goes on, you'll start to feel more and more like your old self. 

I'm weird and got my period back at 7 weeks post-partum even while exclusively breastfeeding, so I had my libido back quickly, but most breastfeeding moms have no libido and no period for a lot longer. You will get there. It's just a big adjustment for your body and lifestyle in general.


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## Missy_Mrs79 (Jan 22, 2015)

Thanks all. I really have no stress, baby is super easy, not tired, i work out everyday. I feel like it is hormonal. I just got my period for the first time last week since i got pregnant.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

Missy_Mrs79 said:


> Thanks all. I really have no stress, baby is super easy, not tired, i work out everyday. I feel like it is hormonal. I just got my period for the first time last week since i got pregnant.


You're very lucky! I had a colicky baby, super tired, etc. 

It is hormonal. Just give yourself some time to get back to yourself. Now that your cycles are back, your libido usually follows not long after. We were just talking about breastfeeding and sex drive in a moms group I am in, and that was what everyone was saying. You'll get there, just be patient.

If you want more info on breastfeeding, check out kellymom.com. There is a lot of helpful info there.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> Yes, the more you think about sex and become aroused the easier it becomes to ...think about sex and become aroused. :smthumbup:


Positive feedback loop, or self fulfilling prophecy. :iagree:


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