# New Here, Any advice please



## isn (Oct 14, 2008)

I will give a brief background. 
- married for three years
- marriage was rotten because we always fought
- she had touble adjusting to living with my parents (I take care of them)
- we gained weight and became miserable
- i suffer from depression and diabetes now
- she tried taking her life
- this summer she was visiting parents and I sent a text message saying that she doesnt have a home to come back to. She was ignoring me while she was with her family, this is something she always does.
- she told her parents, and they came and took all her stuff
- after a few days of convincing her family and her, decided that they needed time to decide
- I am seeing a counsellar, she was supposed to but is too busy with school
- I have finally been able to do the no contact thing because she wanted space.
- She contacted me the last two weekends
- This weekend she didnt, so I broke down and called her. We spoke briefly. I cried and said the last few days I missed her alot, she said she felt the same way.

Here is how things stand:
1. I will keep giving her space, she will have to call me
2. I have changed my life around, working out and eating right. This has been a wake up call. I am such a different person, and I will continue to work on myself. This has actually been a positive experience.
3. She said she will not move back to my parents house, which I accept but it will put a hardship on me and she will have to learn how to be there for me.
4. She has not adressed her issues because she is busy with school and stuff. Which is fine, but she will have to if things are going to work out.
5. I am still seeing a counsellar, and learning about how to improve myself.

Am I doing the right things? Any advice would be great.


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## ScreamingInSilence (Oct 22, 2008)

I understand you love your parents - but you have to but your Wife first. A Husband and Wife need a life of their own - move out of your parents if you want your marriage to work! Good job on the decision to go to Counselling... keep up the good work on that.


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